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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/15490-8.txt b/15490-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..148080a --- /dev/null +++ b/15490-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7866 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Young Lady's Mentor, by A Lady + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Young Lady's Mentor + A Guide to the Formation of Character. In a Series of Letters to Her Unknown Friends + + +Author: A Lady + +Release Date: March 28, 2005 [eBook #15490] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE YOUNG LADY'S MENTOR*** + + +E-text prepared by Joshua Hutchinson, David Newman, Cori Samuel, and the +Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team from page images +generously made available by the Internet Archive Children's Library and +the University of California Library (Davis) + + + +Note: Images of the original pages are available through the Internet + Archive Children's Library. See + http://www.archive.org/details/UF00002046 + + Images of pages 244-284 were kindly provided by Special Collections + at the University of California Library (Davis) + + + + + +THE YOUNG LADY'S MENTOR + +A Guide to the Formation of Character. +In a Series of Letters to Her Unknown Friends + +by + +A LADY. + +Philadelphia: +H.C. Peck & Theo. Bliss. + +1852 + + + + + + + +PREFACE + + +The work which forms the basis of the present volume is one of the most +original and striking which has fallen under the notice of the editor. +The advice which it gives shows a remarkable knowledge of human +character, and insists on a very high standard of female excellence. +Instead of addressing herself indiscriminately to all young ladies, the +writer addresses herself to those whom she calls her "Unknown Friends," +that is to say, a class who, by natural disposition and education, are +prepared to be benefited by the advice which she offers. "Unless a +peculiarity of intellectual nature and habits constituted them friends," +she says in her preface, "though unknown ones, of the writer, most of +the observations contained in the following pages would be +uninteresting, many of them altogether unintelligible." + +She continues: "That advice is useless which is not founded upon a +knowledge of the character of those to whom it is addressed: even were +the attempt made to follow such advice, it could not be successful." + +"The writer has therefore neither hope nor wish of exercising any +influence over the minds of those who are not her 'Unknown Friends.' +There may, indeed, be a variety in the character of these friends; for +almost all the following Letters are addressed to different persons; but +the general intellectual features are always supposed to be the same, +however the moral ones may differ." + +"One word more must be added. All of the rules and systems recommended +in these Letters have borne the test of long-tried and extensive +experience. There is nothing new about them but their publication." + +The plan of the writer of the Letters enables her to give specific and +practical advice, applicable to particular cases, and entering into +lively details; whereas, a more general work would have compelled her to +confine herself to vague generalities, as inoperative as they are +commonplace. + +The intelligent reader will readily appreciate and cordially approve of +the writer's plan, as well as the happy style in which it is executed. + +To the "Letters to Unknown Friends" which are inserted entire, the +editor has added, as a suitable pendant, copious extracts from that +excellent work, "Woman's Mission," and some able papers by Lord Jeffrey, +the late accomplished editor of the Edinburgh Review. + +Thus composed, the editor submits the work to the fair readers of +America, trusting that it will be found a useful and unexceptionable +"Young Lady's Mentor." + + + + +Contents + +Contentment 7 + +Temper 31 + +Falsehood and Truthfulness 52 + +Envy 61 + +Selfishness and Unselfishness 74 + +Self-Control 93 + +Economy 117 + +The Cultivation of the Mind 137, 164 + +Amusements 193 + +The Influence of Women on Society 218 + +The Sphere of Woman's Influence 227 + +Education of Women 233 + +Love--Marriage 244 + +Literary Capabilities of Women 256 + +Ennui, and the Desire to be Fashionable 267 + +The Influence of Personal Character 270 + +On the Means of Securing Personal Influence 276 + + + + +LETTER I. + +CONTENTMENT. + + +It is, perhaps, only the young who can be very hopefully addressed on +the present subject. A few years hence, and your habits of mind will be +unalterably formed; a few years hence, and your struggle against a +discontented spirit, even should you be given grace to attempt it, would +be a perpetually wearisome and discouraging one. The penalty of past sin +will pursue you until the end, not only in the pain caused by a +discontented habit of mind, but also in the consciousness of its +exceeding sinfulness. + +Every thought that rebels against the law of God involves its own +punishment in itself, by contributing to the establishment of habits +that increase tenfold the difficulties to which a sinful nature exposes +us. + +Discontent is in this, perhaps, more dangerous than many other sins, +being far less tangible: unless we are in the constant habit of +exercising strict watchfulness over our thoughts, it is almost +insensibly that they acquire an habitual tendency to murmuring and +repining. + +This is particularly to be feared in a person of your disposition. Many +of your volatile, thoughtless, worldly-minded companions, destitute of +all your holier feelings, living without object or purpose in life, and +never referring to the law of God as a guide for thought or action, may +nevertheless manifest a much more contented disposition than your own, +and be apparently more submissive to the decision of your Creator as to +the station of life in which you have each been placed. + +To account for their apparent superiority over you on this point, it +must be remembered that it is one of the dangerous responsibilities +attendant on the best gifts of God,--that if not employed according to +his will, they turn to the disadvantage of the possessor. + +Your powers of reflection, your memory, your imagination, all calculated +to provide you with rich sources of gratification if exercised in proper +directions, will turn into curses instead of blessings if you do not +watchfully restrain that exercise within the sphere of duty. The natural +tendency of these faculties is, to employ themselves on forbidden +ground, for "every imagination of man's heart is evil continually." It +is thus that your powers of reflection may only serve to give you a +deeper and keener insight into the disadvantages of your position in +life; and trivial circumstances, unpleasant probabilities, never dwelt +on for a moment by the gay and thoughtless, will with you acquire a +serious and fatal importance, if you direct towards them those powers of +reasoning and concentrated thought which were given to you for far +different purposes. + +And while, on the one hand, your memory, if you allow it to acquire the +bad habits against which I am now warning you, will be perpetually +refreshing in your mind vivid pictures of past sorrows, wrongs, and +annoyances: your imagination, at the same time, will continually present +to you, under the most exaggerated forms, and in the most striking +colours, every possible unpleasantness that is likely to occur in the +future. You may thus create for yourself a life apart, quite distinct +from the real one, depriving yourself by wilful self-injury of the power +of enjoying whatever advantages, successes, and pleasures, your heavenly +Father may think it safe for you to possess. + +Happiness, as far as it can be obtained in the path of duty, is a duty +in itself, and an important one: without that degree of happiness which +most people may secure for themselves, independent of external +circumstances, neither health, nor energy, nor cheerfulness can be +forthcoming to help us through the task of our daily duties. + +It is indeed true, that, under the most favourable circumstances, the +thoughtful will never enjoy so much as others of that which is now +generally understood by the word happiness. Anxieties must intrude upon +them which others know nothing of: the necessary business of life, to be +as well executed as they ought to execute it, must at times force down +their thoughts to much that is painful for the present and anxious for +the future. They cannot forget the past, as the light-hearted do, or +life would bring them no improvement; but the same difficulties and +dangers would be rushed into heedlessly to-morrow, that were experienced +yesterday, and forgotten to-day; and not only past difficulties and +dangers are remembered, but sorrows too: these they cannot, for they +would not, forget. + +In the contemplation of the future also, they must exercise their +imagination as well as their reason, for the discovery of those evils +and dangers which such foresight may enable them to guard against: all +this kind of thoughtfulness is their wisdom as well as their instinct; +which makes it more difficult for them than it is for others to fulfil +the reverse side of the duty, and to "be careful for nothing."[1] + +To your strong mind, however, a difficulty will be a thing to be +overcome, and you may, if you only will it, be prudent and sagacious, +far-sighted and provident, without dwelling for a moment longer than +such duties require on the unpleasantnesses, past, present, and future, +of your lot in life. + +Having thus seen in what respects your superiority of mind is likely to +detract from your happiness, in the point of the colouring given by your +thoughts to your life, let us, on the other hand, consider how this same +superiority may be so directed as to make your thoughts contribute to +your happiness, instead of detracting from it. + +I spoke first of your reasoning powers. Let them not be exercised only +in discovering the dangers and disadvantages likely to attend your +peculiar position in life; let them rather be directed to discover the +advantages of those very features of your lot which are most opposed to +your natural inclinations. Consider, in the first place, what there may +be to reconcile you to the secluded life you so unwillingly lead. +Withdrawn, indeed, you are from society,--from the delightful +intercourse of refined and intellectual minds: you hear of such +enjoyments at a distance; you hear of their being freely granted to +those who cannot appreciate them as you could, (safely granted to them +for perhaps this very reason.) You have no opportunity of forming those +friendships, so earnestly desired by a young and enthusiastic mind; of +admiring, even at a reverential distance, "emperors of thought and +hand." But then, as a compensation, you ought to consider that you are, +at the same time, freed from those intrusions which wear away the time, +and the spirits, and the very powers of enjoyment, of those who are +placed in a more public position than your own. When you do, at rare +intervals, enjoy any intercourse with congenial minds, it has for you a +pleasurable excitement, a freshness of delight, which those who mix much +and habitually in literary and intellectual society have long ceased to +enjoy: while the powers of your own mind are preserving all that +originality and energy for which no intellectual experience can +compensate, you are saved the otherwise perhaps inevitable danger of +adopting, parrot-like, the tastes and opinions of others who may indeed +be your superiors, but who, in a copy, become wretchedly inferior to +your real self. Time you have, too, to cultivate your mind in such a +manner, and to such a degree, as may fit you to grace any society of +the kind I have described; while those who are early and constantly +engaged in this society are often obliged, from mere want of this +precious possession, to copy others, and resign all identity and +individuality. To you, nobly free as you are from the vice of envy, I +may venture to suggest another consideration, viz. the far greater +influence you possess in your present small sphere of intellectual +intercourse, than if you were mixed up with a crowd of others, most of +them your equals, many your superiors. + +If you have few opportunities of forming friendships, those few are +tenfold more valuable than many acquaintance, among a crowd of whom, +whatever merits you or they might possess, little time could be spared +to discover, or experimentally appreciate them. The one or two friends +whom you now love, and know yourself beloved by, might, in more exciting +and busy scenes, have gone on meeting you for years without discovering +the many bonds of sympathy which now unite you. In the seclusion you so +much deplore, they and you have been given time to "deliberate, choose, +and fix:" the conclusion of the poet will probably be equally +applicable,--you will "then abide till death."[2] Such friends are +possessions rare and valuable enough to make amends to you for any +sacrifices by which they have been acquired. + +Another of your grievances, one which presses the more heavily on those +of graceful tastes, refined habits, and generous impulses, is the very +small proportion of this world's goods which has fallen to your lot. +You are perpetually obliged to deny yourself in matters of taste, of +self-improvement, of charity. You cannot procure the books, the +paintings, you wish for--the instruction which you so earnestly desire, +and would so probably profit by. Above all, your eyes are pained by the +sight of distress you cannot relieve; and you are thus constantly +compelled to control and subdue the kindest and warmest impulses of your +generous nature. The moral benefits of this peculiar species of trial +belong to another part of my subject: the present object is to find out +the most favourable point of view in which to contemplate the +unpleasantness of your lot, merely with relation to your temporal +happiness. Look, then, around you; and, even in your own limited sphere +of observation, it cannot but strike you, that those who derive most +enjoyment from objects of taste, from books, paintings, &c., are exactly +those who are situated as you are, who cannot procure them at will. It +is certain that there is something in the difficulty of attainment which +adds much to the preciousness of the objects we desire; much, too, in +the rareness of their bestowal. When, after long waiting, and by means +of prudent management, it is at last within your power to make some +long-desired object your own, does it not bestow much greater pleasure +than it does on those who have only to wish and to have? + +In matters of charity this is still more strikingly true--the pleasure +of bestowing ease and comfort on the poor and distressed is enhanced +tenfold by the consciousness of having made some personal sacrifice for +its attainment. The rich, those who give of their superfluities, can +never fully appreciate what the pleasures of almsgiving really are. + +Experience teaches that the necessity of scrupulous economy is the very +best school in which those who are afterwards to be rich can be +educated. Riches always bring their own peculiar claims along with them; +and unless a correct estimate is early formed of the value of money and +the manner in which it can be laid out to the best advantage, you will +never enjoy the comforts and tranquillity which well-managed riches can +bestow. It is much to be doubted whether any one can skilfully manage +large possessions, unless, at some period or other of life, they have +forced themselves, or been forced, to exercise self-denial, and +resolutely given up all those expenses the indulgence of which would +have been imprudent. Those who indiscriminately gratify every taste for +expense the moment it is excited, can never experience the comforts of +competency, though they may have the name of wealth and the reality of +its accompanying cares. + +Still further, let your memory and imagination be here exercised to +assist in reconciling you to your present lot. Can you not remember a +time when you wanted money still more than you do now?--when you had a +still greater difficulty in obtaining the things you reasonably desire? +To those who have acquired the art of contentment, the present will +always seem to have some compensating advantage over the past, however +brighter that past may appear to others. This valuable art will bring +every hidden object gradually into light, as the dawning day seems to +waken into existence those objects which had before been unnoticed in +the darkness. + +Lastly, your imagination, well employed, will make use of your partial +knowledge of other people's affairs to picture to you how much worse off +many of those are,--how much worse off you might yourself be. You, for +instance, can still accomplish much by the aid of self-denial; while +many, with hearts as warm in charities, as overflowing as your own, have +not more to give than the "cup of cold water," that word of mercy and +consolation. + +You may still further, perhaps, complain that you have no object of +exciting interest to engage your attention, and develop your powers of +labour, and endurance, and cleverness. Never has this trial been more +vividly described than in the well-remembered lines of a modern poet:-- + + "She was active, stirring, all fire-- + Could not rest, could not tire-- + To a stone she had given life! + --For a shepherd's, miner's, huntsman's wife, + Never in all the world such a one! + And here was plenty to be done, + And she that could do it, great or small, + She was to do nothing at all."[3] + +This wish for occupation, for influence, for power even, is not only +right in itself, but the unvarying accompaniment of the consciousness of +high capabilities. It may, however, be intended that these cravings +should be satisfied in a different way, and at a different time, from +that which your earthly thoughts are now desiring. It may be that the +very excellence of the office for which you are finally destined +requires a greater length of preparation than that needful for ordinary +duties and ordinary trials. At present, you are resting in peace, +without any anxious cares or difficult responsibilities, but you know +not how soon the time may come that will call forth and strain to the +utmost your energies of both mind and body. You should anxiously make +use of the present interval of repose for preparation, by maturing your +prudence, strengthening your decision, acquiring control over your own +temper and your own feelings, and thus fitting yourself to control +others. + +Or are you, on the contrary, wasting the precious present time in vain +repinings, in murmurings that weaken both mind and body, so that when +the hour of trial comes you will be entirely unfitted to realize the +beautiful ideal of the poet?-- + + "A perfect woman, nobly plann'd + To warn, to counsel, to command: + The reason firm, the temperate will, + Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill."[4] + +Then, again, I would ask you to make use of your powers of reflection +and memory. Reflect what trials and difficulties are, in the common +course of events, likely to assail you; remember former difficulties, +former days or weeks of trial, when all your now dormant energies were +developed and strained to the utmost. You felt then the need of much +greater powers of mind and body than those which you now complain are +lying dormant and useless. Further imagine the future cases that may +occur in which every natural and acquired faculty may be employed for +the great advantage of those who are dear to you, and when you will +experience that this long interval of repose and preparation was +altogether needful. + +Such reflections, memories, and imaginations must, however, be carefully +guarded, lest, instead of reconciling you to the apparent uselessness of +your present life, they should contribute to increase your discontent. +This they might easily do, even though such reflections and memories +related only to trials and difficulties, instead of contemplating the +pleasures and the importance of responsibilities. To an ardent nature +like yours, trials themselves, even severe ones, which would exercise +the powers of your mind and the energies of your character, would be +more welcome than the tame, uniform life you at present lead. + +The considerations above recommended can, therefore, be only safely +indulged in connection with, and secondary to, a most vigilant and +conscientious examination into the truth of one of your principal +complaints, viz. that you have to do, like the Duke's wife, "nothing at +all."[5] You may be "seeking great things" to do, and consequently +neglecting those small charities which "soothe, and heal, and bless." +Listen to the words of a great teacher of our own day: "The situation +that has not duty, its _ideal_, was never yet occupied by man. Yes, +here, in this poor, miserable, pampered, despised actual, wherein thou +even now standest, here, or nowhere, is thy _ideal_; work it out, +therefore, and, working, believe, live, be free. Fool! the ideal is in +thyself; the impediment, too, is in thyself: thy condition is but the +stuff thou art to shape that same ideal out of--what matters whether the +stuff be of this sort or of that, so the form thou give it be heroic, be +poetic? O thou that pinest in the imprisonment of the actual, and criest +bitterly to the gods for a kingdom wherein to rule and create, know this +of a truth,--the thing thou seekest is already with thee, 'here, or +nowhere,' couldst thou only see." + +When you examine the above assertions by the light of Scripture, can you +contradict their truth? + +Let us, however, ascend to a still higher point of view. Have we not +all, under every imaginable circumstance, a work mighty and difficult +enough to develope our strongest energies, to engage our deepest +interests? Have we not all to "work out our own salvation with fear and +trembling?"[6] Professing to believe, as we do, that the discipline of +every day is ordered by Infinite Love and Infinite Wisdom, so as best to +assist us in this awfully important task, can we justly complain of any +mental void, of any inadequacy of occupation, in any of the situations +of life? + +The only work that can fully satisfy an immortal spirit's cravings for +excitement is the work appointed for each of us. It is one, too, that +has no intervals of repose, far less of languor or _ennui_; the labour +it demands ought never to cease, the intense and engrossing interest it +excites can never vary or lessen in importance. The alternative is a +more awful one than human mind can yet conceive: those who have not +fulfilled their appointed work, those who have not, through the merits +of Christ, obtained the "holiness without which no man shall see the +Lord,"[7] "must depart into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and +his angels."[8] + +With a hell to avoid, and a heaven to obtain, do you murmur for want of +interest, of occupation! + +In the words of the old story, "Look below on the earth, and then above +in heaven:" remember that your only business here is to get there; then, +instead of repining, you will be thankful that no great temporal work is +given you to do which might, as too often happens, distract your +attention and your labours from the attainment of life eternal. Having +been once convinced of the awful and engrossing importance of this "one +thing" we have to "do,"[9] you will see more easily how many minor +duties may be appointed you to fulfil, on a path that before seemed a +useless as well as an uninteresting one. For you would have now learned +to estimate the small details of daily life, not according to their +insignificance, not as they may influence your worldly fate, but as they +may have a tendency to mould your spirit into closer conformity to the +image of the Son.[10] You will now no longer inquire whether you have +any work to do which you might yourself consider suitable to your +capabilities and energies; but whether there is within your reach any, +the smallest, humblest work of love, contemned or unobserved before, +when you were more proud and less vigilant. + +Look, then, with prayer and watchfulness into all the details of your +daily life, and you will assuredly find much formerly-unnoticed "stuff," +out of which "your ideal" may be wrought. + +You may, for instance, have no opportunity of teaching on an enlarged +scale, or even of taking a class at a Sunday-school, or of instructing +any of your poor neighbours in reading or in the word of God. Such +labours of love may, it is possible, though not probable, be shut out of +your reach: if, however, you are on the watch for opportunities, (and we +are best made quick-sighted to their occurrence in the course of the +day, by the morning's earnest prayer for their being granted to us,) you +may be able to help your fellow-pilgrims Zion-ward in a variety of small +ways. "A word in season, how good is it!" the mere expression of +religious sympathy has often cheered and refreshed the weary traveller +on his perhaps difficult and lonely way. A verse of Scripture, a hymn +taught to a child, only the visitor of a day, has often been blessed by +God to the great spiritual profit of the child so taught. Are not even +such small works of love within your reach? + +Again, with respect to family duties, I know that in some cases, when +there are many to fulfil such duties, it is a more necessary and often a +more difficult task to refrain altogether from interfering in them. They +ought to be allowed to serve as a safety-valve for the energies of those +members of the family who have no other occupations: of these there will +always be some in a large domestic circle. Without, however, +interfering actively and habitually, which it may not be your duty to +do, are you always ready to help when you are asked, and to take trouble +willingly upon yourself, when the excitement and the credit of the +arrangement will belong exclusively to others? This is a good sign of +the humility and lovingness of your spirit: how is the test borne? + +Further, you may complain that your conversation is not valued, and that +therefore you have no excitement to exertion for the amusement of +others; that your cheerfulness and good temper under sorrows and +annoyances are of no consequence, as you are not considered of +sufficient importance for any display of feeling to attract attention. +When I hear such complaints, and they are not unfrequent from the +younger members of large families, I have little doubt that the sting in +all these murmurs is infixed by their pride. They assure me, at the same +time, that if there was any one to care much about it, to watch +anxiously whether they were vexed or pleased, they would be able to +exercise the strictest control over their feelings and temper,--and I +believe it, for here their pride and their affection would both come to +the assistance of duty. What God requires of us, however, is its +fulfilment when all these things are against us. The effort to control +grief, to conceal depression, to conquer ill-temper, will be a far more +acceptable offering in his eyes, when they alone are expected to witness +it. That which now his eyes alone see will one day be proclaimed upon +the housetop.[11] + +I must, besides, remind you that your proud spirit may deceive you when +it suggests, that because your sadness or your ill-humour attracts no +expressed notice or excites no efforts to remove it, it does not +therefore affect those around you. This is not the case; even the gloom +and ill-humour of a servant, who only remains a few minutes in +attendance, will be depressing and annoying to the most unobservant +master and mistress, though they might make no efforts to remove it. How +much more, then, may your want of cheerfulness and sweet temper affect, +though it may be insensibly, the peace of your family circle. Here you +are again seeking great things for yourself, and neglecting your +appointed work, because it does not to you appear sufficiently worthy of +your high capabilities. Your proud spirit needs being humbled, and +therefore, probably, it is that you will not be allowed to do great +things. No, you must first learn the less agreeable task of doing small +things, of doing what would perhaps be called easy things by those who +have never tried them. To wear a contented look when you know that, +perhaps, the effort will not be observed, certainly not appreciated,--to +take submissively the humblest part in the conversation, and still bear +cheerfully that part,--to bear with patience every hasty word that may +be spoken, and so to forget it that your future conduct may be +uninfluenced by it,--to remove every difficulty, the removal of which is +within your reach, without expecting that the part you have taken will +be acknowledged or even observed,--to be always ready with your +sympathy, encouragement, and counsel, however scornfully they may have +before been rejected; these are all acts of self-renunciation which are +peculiarly fitted to a woman's sphere of duty, and have a direct +tendency to cherish the difficult and excellent grace of humility; they +may, however, help to foster rather than to subdue a spirit of +discontent, if they are performed from a motive of obtaining any, even +the most exalted, human approbation. They must be done to God alone, and +then the promise is sure, "thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward +thee openly."[12] Thus, too, the art of contentment may be much more +easily learnt. Disappointment will surely sour your temper if you look +forward to human appreciation of a self-denying habit of life; but when +the approbation of God is the object sought for, no neglect from others +can excite discontent or much regret. For here there can be no +disappointment: that which comes to us through the day has all been +decreed by him, and as it must therefore give us opportunities of +fulfilling his will, and gaining his approbation, we must necessarily +"be content." + +It must, indeed, be always owing to some deficiency in religious +principle, that one discontented thought is suffered to dwell in the +mind. If our heart and our treasure were in heaven,[13] should we be +easily excited to regret and irritation about the inconveniences of our +position on earth? If we sought "first the kingdom of God and his +righteousness,"[14] should we have so much energy remaining to waste on +petty worldly annoyances? If we obeyed the injunction, "have faith in +God," should we daily and hourly, by our sinful murmuring, imply such +doubts of the divine attributes of wisdom, love, and power? This is a +want of faith you do not manifest towards men. You would trust yourself +fearlessly to the care of some earthly physician; you would believe that +he understood how to adapt his strengthening or lowering remedies to +each varying feature of your case; you would even provide yourself with +remedies, which, on the faith of his skill, you would trustingly use to +meet every symptom that might arise on future occasions. But when the +Great Physician manifests a still greater watchfulness to adapt his +daily discipline to your varying temper and the different stages of your +Christian growth, you murmur--you believe not in his wisdom as you do in +that of the sons of earth. + +Do not, then, take his wisdom on faith alone; you must indeed believe, +you must believe or perish; but it may be as yet too difficult a lesson +for you to believe against sense, against feeling. What I would urge +upon you is, to strengthen your weak faith by the lessons of experience, +to seek anxiously, and to pray to be enabled to see distinctly, the +peculiar manner in which each trial of your daily lot is adapted to your +own individual case. + +I do not speak now of great trials, of such afflictions as crush the +sufferer in the dust. When the hand of God is so plainly seen, it is +comparatively easy to submit, and his Holy Spirit, ever fulfilling the +promise "as thy day is, so shall thy strength be,"[15] sometimes makes +the riven heart strong to bear that which, in prospective, it dares not +even contemplate. You, however, have had no trial of this nature; yours +are the petty irritations, the small vexations which "smart more because +they hold in Holy Writ no place."[16] Even at more peaceful times, when +you can contemplate with resignation the general features of your lot in +life, you cannot subdue your spirit to patience under the hourly varying +annoyances and temptations with which you are beset. The peculiar +sensitiveness of your disposition, your affectionate, generous nature, +your refinement of mind, and quick tact, all expose you to suffer more +severely than others from the selfishness, the coarse-mindedness, the +bluntness of perception of those around you. You often say, in the +bitterness of your heart, Any other trial but this I could have borne; +every other chastisement would have been light in comparison. But why +have you so little faith? Why do you not see that it is because all +these petty trials are so severe to you, therefore are they sent? All +these amiable qualities that I have enumerated, and the love which they +win for you, would make you admire and value yourself too much, unless +your system were reduced, so to speak, by a series of petty but +continued annoyances. As I said before, you must seek to strengthen your +faith by tracing the close connection between these annoyances and the +"needs be" for them. It is probably exactly at the time when you are too +much elated by praise and admiration that you are sent some +counterbalancing annoyance, or perhaps suffered to fall into some fault +of temper which will lessen you in your own eyes, as well as in those of +others. You are often troubled by some annoyance, too, when you have +blamed others for being too easily overcome by an annoyance of the very +same kind. "Stand upon" an anxious "watch," and you will see how +constantly severe judgments of others are punished by falling ourselves +into temptations similar to those which we had treated as light ones +when sitting in judgment upon others. If you would acquire the habit of +exercising faith with respect to the smallest details of your every-day +life, by such faith the light itself might be won, and your eyes be +opened to see how wondrously all things, even those which appear the +most needlessly worrying, are made to work together for your good.[17] +These are, however, but the first lessons in the school of faith, the +first steps on the road which leads to "rest in God." + +Severer trials are hastening onward, for which your present petty trials +are serving as a preparatory discipline. According to the manner in +which these are met and supported, will be your patience in the hour of +deep darkness and bitter desolation. Waste not one of your present petty +sorrows: let them all, by the help of prayer, and watchfulness, and +self-control, work their appointed work in your soul. Let them lead you +each day more and more trustingly to "cast all your care upon Him who +careth for you."[18] In the present hours of tranquillity and calm, let +the light and infrequent storms, the passing clouds that disturb your +peace, serve as warnings to you to find a sure refuge before the clouds +of affliction become so heavy, and its storms so violent, that there +will be no power of seeking a haven of security. That must be sought and +found in seasons of comparative peace. Though the agonized soul may +finally, through the waves of sorrow, make its way into the ark, its +long previous struggles, and its after harrowing doubts and fears, will +shatter it nearly to pieces before it finds a final refuge. It may, +indeed, by the free grace of God, be saved at the last, but during the +remainder of its earthly pilgrimage there is no hope for it of joy and +peace in believing. + +But when the hour of earthly desolation comes to those who have long +acknowledged the special providence of God in "all the dreary +intercourse of daily life," "they knew in whom they have believed,"[19] +and no storms can shake that faith. They know from experience that all +things work together for good to them that love God. In the loving, +child-like confidence of long-tried and now perfecting faith, they are +enabled to say from the depths of their heart, "It is the Lord, let him +do what seemeth him good."[20] They seek not now to ascertain the "needs +be" for this particular trial. It might harrow up their human heart too +much to trace the details of sorrows such as these, in the manner in +which they formerly examined into the details of those of daily life. +"It is the Lord;" these words alone not only still all complaining, but +fill the soul with a depth of peace never experienced by the believer +until all happiness is withdrawn but that which comes direct from God. +"It is the Lord," who died that we might live, and can we murmur even +if we dared? No; the love of Christ constrains us to cast ourselves at +his feet, not only in submission, but in grateful adoration. It is +through his redeeming love that "our light affliction, which is but for +a moment, will work for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of +glory." + +Even the very depth of mystery which may attend the sorrowful +dispensation, will only draw forth a stronger manifestation of the +Christian's faith and love. She will be enabled to rejoice that God does +not allow her to see even one reason for the stroke that lays low all +her earthly happiness; as thus only, perhaps, can she experience all the +fulness of peace that accompanies an unquestioning trust in the wisdom +and love of his decrees. For such unquestioning trust, however, there +must be a long and diligent preparation: it is not the growth of days or +weeks; yet, unless it is begun even this very day, it may never be begun +at all. The practice of daily contentment is the only means of finally +attaining to Christian resignation. + +I do not appeal to you for the necessity of immediate action, because +this day may be your last. I do not exhort you "to live as if this day +were the whole of life, and not a part or section of it,"[21] because it +may, in fact, be the whole of life to you. It may be so, but it is not +probable, and when you have certainties to guide you, they are better +excitements to immediate action than the most solemn possibilities. + +The certainty to which I now appeal is, that every duty I have been +urging upon you will be much easier to you to-day than it would be, even +so soon as to-morrow. One hour's longer indulgence of a discontented +spirit, of rebellious and murmuring thoughts, will stamp on your mind an +impression, which, however slight it may be, will entail upon you a +lifelong struggle against it. Every indulged thought becomes a part of +ourselves: you have the awful freedom of will to make yourself what you +will to be. "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,"[22] "Quench" +the Spirit[23] and the holy flame will never be rekindled. Kneel, then, +before God, even now, to pray that you may be enabled to will aright. + +Before you opened these pages, some of your daily irritations were +probably preying on your mind. You have often, perhaps, recurred to the +annoyance, whatever it may be, while you read on and on. Make this +annoyance your first opportunity of victory, the first step in the path +of contentment. Pray to an ever-present God, that he may open your eyes +to see how large may have been the portion of blame to yourself in the +annoyance you complain of,--in how far it may be the due and inevitable +chastisement of some former sin; how, finally, it may turn to your +present profit, by giving you a keener insight into the evils of your +own heart, and a more indulgent view of the often imaginary wrongs of +others towards you. + +Let not this trial be lost to you; by faith and prayer, this cloud may +rain down blessings upon you. The annoyance from which you are suffering +may be a small one, casting but a temporary shadow, even like the + + "Cloud passing over the moon; + 'Tis passing, and 'twill pass full soon."[24] + +But ere that shadow has passed away, your fate may be as decided as that +of the renegade in poetic fiction. During the time this cloud has rested +upon you, the first link of an interminable chain of habits, for good or +for ill, may have been fastened around you. Who can tell what "Now" it +is that "is the accepted time?" We know from Scripture that there is +this awful period, and your present temptation to murmuring and +rebellion against the will of God (for it is still his will, though it +may be manifested through a created instrument) may be to you that +"Now." Pray earnestly before you decide what use you will make of it. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] Phil. iv. 6. + +[2] Young's Night Thoughts. + +[3] "The Flight of the Duchess." Browning. + +[4] Wordsworth. + +[5] See page 15. + +[6] Phil. ii. 12. + +[7] Heb. xii. 14. + +[8] Matt. xxv. 41. + +[9] Phil. iii. 13. + +[10] Rom. viii. 29. + +[11] Luke xii. 3. + +[12] Matt. vi. 18. + +[13] Matt. vi. 20, 21. + +[14] Matt. vi. 33. + +[15] Deut. xxxiii. 25. + +[16] Lyra Apostolica. + +[17] Rom. viii. 28. + +[18] 1 Pet. v. 7. + +[19] 2 Tim. i. 12. + +[20] 1 Sam. iii. 18. + +[21] Jean Paul Richter. + +[22] 1 Pet. v. 8, 9. + +[23] Thess. v. 19. + +[24] The Siege of Corinth. + + + + +LETTER II. + +TEMPER. + + +The subject proposed for consideration in the following letter has been +already treated of in perhaps all the different modes of which it +appears susceptible. Every religious and moral motive has been urged +upon the victim of ill-temper, and it is scarcely necessary to add that +each has, in its turn, been urged in vain. This failing of the character +comes gradually to be considered as one over which the rational will has +no control; it is even supposed possible that a Christian may grow in +grace and in the knowledge of the Saviour while the vice of ill-temper +is still flourishing triumphantly. + +It is, indeed, a certain fact that, unless the temper itself is +specially controlled, and specially watched over, it may deteriorate +even when the character in other respects improves; for the habit of +defeat weakens the exercise of the will in this particular direction, +and gradually diminishes the hope or the effort of acquiring a victory +over the indulged failing. It is a melancholy consideration, if it be, +as I believe, really the case, that a Christian may increase in love to +God and man, while at the same time perpetually inflicting severe wounds +on the peace and happiness of those who are nearest and dearest to her. +Worse than all, she is, by such conduct, wounding the Saviour "in the +house of his friends,"[25] bringing disgrace and ridicule upon the Holy +Name by which she is called. + +In the compatibility which is often tacitly inferred between a bad +temper and a religious course of life, there seems to be an instinctive +recognition of this peculiar vice being so much the necessary result of +physical organization, that the motives proving effectual against other +sins are ineffectual for the extirpation of this. Perhaps, if this +recognition were distinct, and the details of it better understood, a +new and more successful means might be made use of to effect the cure of +ill-temper. + +As an encouragement to this undertaking, there can be no doubt, from +some striking instances within your own knowledge, that there are +certain means by which, if they could only be discovered, the vice in +question may be completely subdued. Even among heathen nations, we know +that the art of self-control was so well understood, and so successfully +practised, that Plato, Socrates, and other philosophers were able to +bring their naturally fiery and violent tempers into complete subjection +to their will. Can it be that this secret has been lost along with the +other mysteries of those distant times, that the mode of controlling the +temper is now as undiscoverable as the manner of preparing the Tyrian +dye and other forgotten arts? It is surely a disgrace to those cowardly +Christians who, having in addition to all the natural powers of the +heathen moralist the freely-offered grace of God to work with them and +in them, should still walk so unworthy of the high vocation wherewith +they are called, as to shrink hopelessly from a moral competition with +the ignorant worshippers of old. + +My sister, these things ought not so to be; you feel they ought not, yet +day after day you break through the resolutions formed in your calmer +moments, and repeat, probably increase, your manifestations of +uncontrolled ill-temper. This is not yet, however, in your case, a +wilful sin; you still mourn bitterly over the shame to yourself and the +annoyance to others caused by the indulgence of your ill-temper. You are +also painfully alive to the doubts which your conduct excites in the +mind of your more worldly associates as to the reality of a vital and +transforming efficacy in religion. You feel that you are not only +disobeying God yourself, but that you are providing others with excuses +for disobeying him, and with examples of disobedience. You mourn over +these considerations in bitterness of heart; you even pray for strength +to resist this, your besetting sin, and then--you leave your room, and +fall into the same sin on the very first opportunity. + +If, however, prayer itself does not prove an effectual safeguard from +persistence in sin, you will ask what other means can be hopefully +employed. None--none whatever; that from which real prayer cannot +preserve us is an inevitable misfortune. But think you that any kind of +sin can be among those misfortunes that cannot be avoided? No, my +friend: "He is able to succour them that are tempted;"[26] and we are +also assured that He is willing. Cease, then, from accusing the +All-merciful, even by implication, of being the cause of your continuing +in sin, and examine carefully into the nature of those prayers which you +complain have never been answered. The Scripture reason for such +disappointments is clearly and distinctly given: "Ye ask and receive +not, because ye ask amiss."[27] Examine, then, in the first place, +whether you yourself are asking "amiss?" What is your primary motive for +desiring the removal of this besetting sin? Is it the consideration of +its being so hateful in the sight of God, of its being injurious to the +cause of religion? or is it not rather because you feel that it makes +you unloveable to those around you, and inflicts pain on those who are +very dear to you, at the same time lessening your own dignity and +wounding your self-respect? These are all proper and allowable motives +of action while kept in their subordinate place; but if they become the +primary actuating principle, instead of a conscientious hatred of sin +because it is the abominable thing that God hates,[28] if pleasing man +be your chief object, you have no reason to complain that your prayers +are unanswered. The word of God has told you that it must be so. You +have asked "amiss." There is also a secondary sense in which we may "ask +amiss:" when we pray without corresponding effort. Some worthy people +think that prayer alone is to obtain for them all the benefits they can +desire, and that the influences of the Holy Spirit will, unassisted by +human effort, produce a transforming change in the temper and the +conduct. This they call magnifying the grace of God, as if it could be +supposed that his gracious help would ever be granted for the purpose of +slackening, instead of encouraging and exciting, our own exertions. Do +not the Scriptures abound in exhortations, warnings, and threatenings on +the subject of individual watchfulness, diligence, and unceasing +conflicts? "To the law and to the testimony, if they speak not according +to this word, it is because there is no light in them."[29] Perhaps you +have prayed under the mental delusion I have above described; you have +expected the work should be done _for_ you, instead of _with_ you; that +the constraining love of Christ would constrain you necessarily to +abandon your sinful habits, while, in fact, its efficacy consists in +constraining you to carry on a perpetual struggle against them. + +Look through the day that is past, or watch yourself through that which +is to come, and observe whether any violent conflict takes place in your +mind whenever you are tempted to sin. I fear, on the contrary, that you +expect the efficacy of your prayers to be displayed in preserving you +from any painful conflict whatever. It is strange, most strange, how +generally this perversion of mind appears practically to exist. +Notwithstanding all the opposing assertions of the Bible, people imagine +that the Christian's life, after conversion, is to be one of freedom +from temptation and from all internal struggles. The contrary fact is, +that they only really begin when we ourselves begin the Christian course +with earnestness and sincerity. + +If you would possess the safety of preparation, you must look out for +and expect constant temptations and perpetual conflicts. By such means +alone can your character be gradually forming into "a meetness for the +inheritance of the saints in light."[30] Whenever your conflicts cease, +you will enter into your glorious rest. You will not be kept in a world +of sin and sorrow one moment after that in which you have attained to +sufficient Christian perfection to qualify you for a safe freedom from +trials and temptations: but as long as you remain in a temporal school +of discipline, "your only safety is to feel the stretch and energy of a +continual strife."[31] + +If I have been at all successful in my endeavours to alter your views of +the _manner_ in which you are first to set about acquiring a permanent +victory over your besetting sin, you will be the more inclined to bestow +your attention on the means which I am now going to recommend for your +consequent adoption. They have been often tried and proved effectual: +experience is their chief recommendation. They may indeed startle some +pious minds, as seeming to encroach too far on what they think ought to +be the unassisted work of the Spirit upon the human character; but you +are too intelligent to allow such assertions, unfounded as they are on +Scripture, to prove much longer a stumbling-block in your way. I would +first of all recommend to you a very strict inquiry into the nature of +the things that affect your temper, so that you may be for the future on +your guard to avoid them, as far as lies in your power. Avoidance is +always the safest plan when it involves no deviation from the +straightforward path of duty; and there will be enough of inevitable +conflicts left, to keep up the habits of self-control and watchfulness. +Indeed, the avoidance which I recommend to you involves in itself the +necessity of so much vigilance, that it will help to prepare you for +measures of more active resistance. On this principle, then, you will +shrink from every species of discussion, on either practical or abstract +subjects, which is likely to excite you beyond control, and disable you +from bearing with gentleness and calmness the triumph, either real or +imaginary, of your opponent. The time will come, I trust, when no +subject need be forbidden to you on these grounds, but at present you +must submit to an invalid regimen, and shun every thing that has even a +tendency to excitement. + +This system of avoidance is of the more importance, because every time +your ill-temper acquires the mastery over you, its strength is tenfold +increased for the next conflict, at the same time that your hopes of the +power of resistance, afforded either by your own will or by the +assisting grace of God, are of course weakened. You find, at each fall +before the power of sin, a greater difficulty in exercising faith in +either human or divine means of improvement. You do not, indeed, doubt +the power of God, but a disbelief steals over you which has equally +fatal tendencies. You allow yourself to indulge vague doubts of his +willingness to help you, or a suspicion insinuates itself that the God +whom you so anxiously try to please would not allow you to fall so +constantly into error, if this error were of a very heinous nature. You +should be careful to shun any course of conduct possibly suggestive of +such dangerous doubts. You should seek to establish in your mind the +habitual conviction that, victory being placed by God within your reach, +you must conquer or perish! None but those who by obedience prove +themselves children of God, shall inherit the kingdom prepared for them +from the foundation of the world.[32] + +I have spoken of the vigilance and self-control required for the +avoidance of every discussion on exciting subjects; but this difficulty +is small indeed when compared with those unexpected assaults on the +temper which we are exposed to at every hour of the day. It is to meet +these with Christian heroism that the constant exertion of all our +inherent and imparted powers is perpetually required. Every device that +ingenuity can suggest, every practice that others have by experience +found successful, is at least worth the trial. One plan of resistance +suits one turn of mind; an entirely opposite one proves more useful for +another. To you I should more especially recommend the habitual +consideration that every trial of temper throughout the day is an +opportunity for conflict and for victory. Think, then, of every such +trial as an occasion of triumphing over your animal nature, and of +increasing the dominion of your rational will over the opposing +temptations of "the world, the flesh, and the devil." Consider each +vexatious annoyance as coming, through human instruments, from the hand +of God himself, and as an opportunity offered by his love and his wisdom +for strengthening your character and bringing your will into closer +conformity with his. You should cultivate the general habit of +considering every trial in this peculiar point of view; thinking over +the subject in your quiet hours especially, that you may thus have your +spirit prepared for moments of unexpected excitement. + +To a person of your reflective turn of mind, the prudent management of +the thoughts is one of the principal means towards the proper government +of the temper. As some insects assume the colour of the plant they feed +on, so do the thoughts on which the mind habitually nourishes itself +impart their own peculiar colouring to the mental and moral +constitution. On your thoughts, when you are alone, when you wander +through the fields, or by the roadside, or sit at your work in useful +hours of solitude, depends very much the spirit you are of when you +again enter into society. If, for instance, you think over the trials of +temper which you are inevitably exposed to during the day as indications +of the unkindness of your fellow-creatures, you will not fail to +exaggerate mere trifles into serious offences, and will prepare a sore +place, as it were, in your mind, to which the slightest touch must give +pain. On the contrary, if you forcibly withdraw yourself from any +thought respecting the human instrument that has inflicted the wounds +from which you suffer or are likely to suffer,--if you look upon the +annoyance only as an opportunity of improvement and a message of mercy +from God himself,--you will then gradually get rid of all mental +irritation, and feel nothing but pity for your tormentors, feeling that +you have in reality been benefited instead of injured. When you have +acquired greater power of controlling your thoughts, it will be +serviceable to you to think over all the details of the annoyance from +which you are suffering, and to consider all the extenuating +circumstances of the case; to imagine (this will be good use to make of +your vivid imagination) what painful chord you may have unconsciously +struck, what circumstances may possibly have led the person who annoys +you to suppose that the provocation originated with yourself instead of +with her. It may be possible that some innocent words of yours may have +appeared to her as cutting insinuations or taunts, referring to some +former painful circumstance, forgotten or unknown by you, but +sorrowfully remembered by her, or a wilful contradiction of her known +opinion and known wishes, for mere contradiction's sake. + +By the time you have turned over in your mind all these possible or +probable circumstances, you will generally see that the person offending +may really be not so much (if at all) to blame; and then the candid and +generous feelings of your nature will convert your anger into regret for +the pain you have unintentionally inflicted. I do not, however, +recommend you to venture upon this practice _yet_. Under present +circumstances, any indulged reflection upon the minute features of the +offence, and the possible feelings of the offender, will be more likely +to increase your irritation than to subdue it; you will not be able to +view your own case through an unprejudiced medium, until you have +acquired the power of compelling your thoughts to dwell on those +features only of an annoyance which may tend to soften your feelings, +while you avoid all such as may irritate them. + +A much lower stage of self-control, and one in which you may immediately +begin to exercise yourself, is the prevention of your thoughts from +dwelling for one moment on any offence against you, looking upon such +offence in this point of view alone, that it is one of those +divinely-sent opportunities of Christian warfare without which you could +make no advance in the spiritual life. The consideration of the subject +of temper, as connected with habits of thought, on which I have dwelt so +long and in so much detail, is of the greatest importance. It is +absolutely impossible that you can exercise control over your temper, or +charitable and forgiving feelings toward those around you, if you suffer +your mind to dwell on what you consider their faults and your own +injuries. Are you, however, really aware that you are in the habit of +indulging such thoughts? I doubt it. Few people observe the direction in +which their thoughts are habitually exercised until they have practised +for some little time strict watchfulness over those shadowy and fleeting +things upon which most of the realities of life depend. Watch yourself, +therefore, I entreat you, even during this one day. I ask only for one +day, because I know that, in a character like yours, such an +examination, once begun in all earnestness, will only cease with life. +It is of sins of ignorance and carelessness alone that I accuse you; not +of wilfully harbouring malicious and revengeful thoughts. You have +never, probably, observed their existence: how, then, could you be aware +of their tendency? Perhaps the following illustration may serve to +suggest to you proofs of the danger of the practice I have been warning +you against. If one of your acquaintance had offended another, you would +feel no doubt as to the sinfulness and the cruelty to both of dwelling +on all the aggravating circumstances of the offence, until the temper of +the offended one was thoroughly roused and exasperated, though, before +the interference of a third person, the subject may have been passed +over unnoticed. Is not this the very process you are continually +carrying on in your own mind, to your own injury, indeed, far more than +to any one else's? These habits of thought must be altered, or no other +measures of self-control can prosper with you, though, in connection +with this primary one, many others must be adopted. + +One practice that has been found beneficial is that of offering up a +short prayer, even as your hand is upon the door which is to admit you +into family intercourse, an intercourse which, more than any other, +involves duties and responsibilities as well as privileges and +pleasures. This practice could insure your never entering upon a scene +of trial, without having the subject of difficulty brought vividly +before your mind. David's prayer--"Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; +keep the door of my lips"[33]--would be very well suited to such +occasions as these. This prayer would, at the same time, bring you down +help from Heaven, and, by putting you on your guard, rouse your own +energies to brave any temptation that may await you. + +There is another plan which has often been tried with success,--that of +repeating the Lord's prayer deliberately through to oneself, before +venturing to utter one word aloud on any occasion that excites the +temper. The spirit of this practice is highly commendable, as, there +being no direct petition against the sin of ill-temper, it is +principally by elevating the spirit "into a higher moral atmosphere," +that the experiment is expected to be successful. You will find that a +scrupulous politeness towards the members of your family, and towards +servants, will be a great help in preserving your temper through the +trials of domestic intercourse. You are very seldom even tempted to +indulge in irritable answers, impatient interruptions, abrupt +contradictions, while in the society of strangers. The reason of this is +that the indulgence of your temper on such occasions would oblige you to +break through the chains of early and confirmed habits From infancy +those habits have been forming, and they impel you almost unconsciously +to subdue even the very tones of your voice, while strangers are +present. Have you not sometimes in the middle of an irritable +observation caught yourself changing and softening the harsh +uncontrolled tones of your voice, or the roughness of your manner, when +you have discovered the unexpected presence of a stranger in the family +circle? You have still enough of self-respect to feel deep shame when +such things have happened; and the very moment when you are suffering +from these feelings of shame is that in which you ought to form, and +begin to execute, resolutions of future amendment. While under the +influence of regretful excitement, you will have the more strength to +break through the chains of your old habits, and to begin to form new +ones. If the same courtesy, which until now you have only observed +towards strangers, were habitually exercised towards the members of your +domestic circle, it would, in time, become as difficult to break through +the forms of politeness by indulging ill-temper towards them, as towards +strangers or mere acquaintance. + +This is a point I wish to urge on you, even more strongly with regard to +servants. There is great meanness in any display of ill-temper towards +those who will probably lose their place and their character, if they +are tempted by your provocation (and without your restraints of +good-breeding and good education) to the same display of ill-temper that +you yourself are guilty of. On the other hand, there is no better +evidence of dignity, self-respect, and refined generosity of +disposition, than a scrupulous politeness in requiring and requiting +those services for which the low-minded imagine that their money is a +sufficient payment. You will not alone receive as a recompense the love +and the grateful respect of those who serve you, but you will also be +forming habits which will offer a powerful resistance to the temptations +of ill-humour. + +You will not surely object to any of the precautions or the practices +recommended above, that they are too trifling or too troublesome; you +have suffered so much from your besetting sin, that I can suppose you +willing to try every possible means of cure. + +You should, however, to strengthen your desire of resistance and of +victory, look much further than the unpleasant consequences of +ill-temper in your own case alone. You are still young, life has gone +prosperously with you, the present is fair and smiling, and the future +full of bright hopes; you have, comparatively speaking, few occasions +for irritation or despondency. A naturally warm temper is seen in you +under the least forbidding aspect, combined, as it is, with gay animal +spirits, strong affections, and ready good nature. You need only to look +around, however, to see the probability of things being quite different +with you some years hence, unless a thorough present change is effected. +Look at those cases (only too numerous and too apparent) in which +indulged habits of ill-temper have become stronger by the lapse of time, +and are not now softened in their aspect by the modifying influences of +youth, of hope, of health. See those victims to habitual ill-humour, who +are weighed down by the cares of a family, by broken health, by +disappointed hopes, by the inevitably accumulating sorrows of life. Do +you not know that they bestow wretchedness instead of happiness, even on +those who are dearest and nearest to them? Do you not know that their +voice is dreaded and unwelcome, as it sounds through their home, +deprived through them of the lovely peace of home? Is not their step +shunned in the passage, or on the stairs, in the certainty of no kind or +cheerful greeting? Do you not observe that every subject but the most +indifferent is avoided in their presence, or kept concealed from their +knowledge, in the vain hope of keeping away food for their excitement of +temper? Deprived of confidence, deprived of respect, their society +shunned even by the few who still love them, the unfortunate victims of +confirmed ill-temper may at last make some feeble efforts to shake off +their voluntarily imposed yoke. + +But, alas! it is too late; in feeble health, in advanced years, in +depressed spirits, their powers of "working together with God" are +altogether broken. They may be finally saved indeed, but in this life +they can never experience the peace that religion bestows on its +faithful self-controlling followers. They can never bestow happiness, +but always discomfort on those whom they best love; they can never +glorify God by bringing forth the fruits of "a meek and quiet spirit." +This is sad, very sad, but it is not the less true. Strange also it is, +in some respects, that when sin is deeply mourned over and anxiously +prayed against, its power cannot be more effectually weakened. This is, +however, an invariable feature throughout all the dispensations of God, +and you would do well to examine carefully into it, that you may add +experience to your faith in the Scripture assertion, "What a man soweth, +that shall he also reap."[34] May you be given grace to sow such present +seed as may bring forth a harvest of peace to yourself, and peace to +your friends! + +I must not forget to make some observations with respect to those +physical influences which affect the temper and spirits. It is true that +these are, at some times, and for a short period, altogether +irresistible. This is, however, only in the case of those whose +character was not originally of sufficient force and strength to require +much habitual self-control, as long as they possessed good health and +spirits. When this original good health is altered in any way that +alters their natural temper, (all diseases, however, have not this +effect,) not having had any previous practice in resisting the new and +unaccustomed evil, they yield to it as hopelessly as they would do to +the pain attending the gout and the rheumatism. If, however, such +persons as those above described are sincere in their desire to glorify +God, and to avoid disturbing the peace of those around them, they will +soon learn to make use of all the means within their reach to remove the +moral disease, as assiduously and as vigorously as they would labour to +remove the physical one. Their newly-acquired self-control will be blest +to them in more ways than one, for the grace of God is always given in +proportion to the need of those who are willing to work themselves, and +who have not incurred the evil they now struggle against, by wilful and +deliberate sin. I have spoken of only a few cases of ill-temper being +irresistible, and even these few only to be considered so at first, +before proper means of cure and prevention are used. Under other +circumstances, though the ill-temper mourned over may be strongly +influenced by physical causes, the sin must still remain the same as if +the causes were strictly moral ones. For instance, if you know that by +sitting up at night an hour or two later than usual, or by not taking +regular exercise, or by eating of indigestible food, you will put it out +of your power to avoid being ill-tempered and disagreeable on the +following day, the failure is surely a moral one. That the immediate +causes of your ill-humour may be physical ones, does not at all affect +the matter, seeing that such causes are, in this case, completely under +your own control. From this it follows that it must be a duty to watch +carefully the effects produced on your temper by every habit of your +life. If you do not abandon such of these as produce undesirable +effects, you deserve to experience the consequences in the gradual +diminution of the respect and affection of those who surround you. + +Should the habits producing irritation of temper be such as you cannot +abandon without loss or detriment to yourself or others, the object in +view will be equally attained by exercising a more vigilant self-control +while you are exposed to a dangerous influence. For instance, you have +often heard it remarked, and have perhaps observed in your own case, +that poetry and works of fiction excite and irritate the temper. You may +know some people who exhibit this influence so strongly that no one will +venture to make them a request or even to apply to them about necessary +business, while they are engaged in the perusal of any thing +interesting. I know more than one excellent person, who, in consequence +of observing the effect produced on their temper, by novels, &c., have +given up this style of reading altogether. So far as the sacrifice was +made from a conscientious motive, they doubtless have their reward. From +the consequences, however, I should be rather inclined to think that +they were in many cases not only mistaken in the nature of the +precautions they adopted, but also in their motives for adopting them. +Such persons too frequently seem to have no more control over their +temper when exposed to other and entirely inevitable temptations, than +they had before the cultivation of their imagination was given up. They +do not, in short, seem to exercise, under circumstances that cannot be +escaped, that vigilant self-control which would be the only safe test +of the conscientiousness of their intellectual sacrifice. + +For you, I should consider any sacrifice of the foregoing kind +especially inexpedient. Your deep thoughtfulness of mind, and your +habitual delicacy of health, make it impossible for you to give up light +literature with any degree of safety; even were it right that you should +abandon that species of mental cultivation which is effected by this +most important branch of study. People who never read difficult books, +and who are not of reflective habits of mind, can little understand the +necessity that at times exists for entire repose to the higher powers of +the mind--a repose which can be by no means so effectually procured as +by an interesting work of fiction. A drive in a pretty country, a +friendly visit, an hour's work in the garden, any of these may indeed +effect the same purpose, and on some occasions in a safer way than a +novel or a poem. The former, however, are means which are not always +within one's reach, which are impossible at seasons when entire rest to +the mind is most required,--viz. during days and weeks of confinement to +a sick and infected room. At such periods, it is true that the more idle +the mind can be kept the better; even the most trifling story may excite +a dangerous exertion of its nervous action; at times, however, when it +is sufficiently strong and disengaged to feel a craving for active +employment, it is of great importance that the employment should be such +as would involve no exercise of the higher intellectual faculties. I +have known serious evils result to both mind and body from an imprudent +engagement in intellectual pursuits during temporary, and as it may +often appear trifling, illness. Whenever the body is weak, the mind also +should be allowed to rest, if the invalid be a person of thought and +reflection; otherwise Butler's Analogy itself would not do her any harm. +It is _only_ "Lorsqu'il y a vie, il y a danger." This is a long +digression, but one necessary to my subject; for I feel the importance +of impressing on your mind that it can never be your duty to give up +that which is otherwise expedient for you, on the grounds of its being a +cause of excitement. You must only, under such circumstances, exercise a +double vigilance over your temper. Thus you must try to avoid speaking +in an irritated tone when you are interrupted; you must be always ready +to help another, if it be otherwise expedient, however deep may be the +interest of the book in which you are engaged; and, finally, if you are +obliged to refuse your assistance, you should make a point of expressing +your refusal with gentleness and courtesy. + +You should show others, as well as be convinced of it yourself, that the +refusal to oblige is altogether irrespective of any effect produced on +your temper by the studies in which you are engaged. Perhaps during the +course of even this one day, you may have an opportunity of experiencing +both the difficulty and advantage of attending to the foregoing +directions. + +In conclusion, I would remind you, that it may, some time or other, be +the will of God to afflict you with heavy and permanent sickness, +habitually affecting your temper, generating despondency, impatience, +and irritation, and making the whole mind, as it were, one vast sore, +shrinking in agony from every touch. If such a trial should ever be +allotted to you, (and it may be sent as a punishment for the neglect of +your present powers of self-control,) how will you be able to avoid +becoming a torment to all around you, and at the same time bringing +doubt and ridicule on your profession of religion? + +If, during your present enjoyment of mental and bodily health, you do +not acquire a mastery over your temper, it will be almost impossible to +do so when the effects of disease are added to the influences of nature +and habit. On the other hand, from Galen down to Sir Henry Halford, +there is high medical authority for the important fact that self-control +acquired in health may be successfully exercised to subdue every +external sign, at least, of the irritation and depression often +considered inevitably attendant on many peculiar maladies. There are few +greater temporal rewards of obedience than the consciousness, under such +trying circumstances, of still possessing the power of procuring peace +for oneself, love from one's neighbour, and glory to God. + +Remember, finally, that every day and every hour you pause and hesitate +about beginning to control your temper, may probably expose you to years +of more severe future conflict. "Now is the accepted time, now is the +day of salvation," is fully as true when asserted of the beginning of +the slow moral process by which our own conformity "to the image of the +Son" is effected, as of the saving moment in which we "arise and go to +our Father."[35] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[25] Zach. xiii. 6. + +[26] Heb. ii. 18. + +[27] James iv. 3. + +[28] Jer. xliv. 4. + +[29] Isa. viii. 20. + +[30] Col. i. 12. + +[31] Archdeacon Manning. + +[32] Matt. xxv. 24. + +[33] Ps. cxli. 3. + +[34] Gal. vi. 7. + +[35] Luke xv. + + + + +LETTER III. + +FALSEHOOD AND TRUTHFULNESS. + + +I do not accuse you of being a liar--far from it; on the contrary, I +believe that if truth and falsehood were distinctly placed before you, +and the opportunity of a deliberate choice afforded you, you would +rather expose yourself to serious injury than submit to the guilt of +falsehood. It is, therefore, with the more regret that your +conscientious friends observe a daily-growing disregard of absolute +truth in your statement of indifferent things, and, _à plus forte +raison_, in your statement of your own side of the question as opposed +to that of another. There are, unfortunately, a thousand opportunities +and temptations to the exaggerated mode of expression for which I blame +you; and these temptations are generally of so trifling a nature, that +the whole energies of the conscience are never awakened to resist them, +as might be the case were the evil to others and the disgrace to +yourself more strikingly manifest. Few people seem to be at all aware of +the difficulties that really attend speaking the _exact_ truth, or they +would shrink from indulging in any habits that immeasurably increase +these difficulties,--increase it, indeed, to such a degree, that some +minds appear to have lost the very power of perceiving truth; so that, +even when they are extremely anxious to be correct in their statement, +there is a total incapacity of transmitting a story to another in the +way that they themselves received it. This is one of the most striking +temporal punishments of sin,--one of those that are the inevitable +consequences of the sin itself, and quite independent of the other +punishments which the revealed will of God attaches to it. The persons +of whom I speak must sooner or later perceive that no dependence is +placed on their statements, that even when respect and affection for +their other good qualities may prevent a clear recognition of the +falsehood of their character, yet that they are now never applied to for +information on any matters of importance. Perhaps, to those who have any +sensitiveness of observation, such doubts are even the more painful the +more vaguely they are implied. For myself, I have long acquired the +habit of translating the assertions and the stories of the persons of +whom I speak into the language in which I judge they originally existed. +By the aid of a small degree of ingenuity, it is not very difficult to +ascertain, from the nature of the refracting medium, the degree and the +direction of the change that has taken place in the pure ray of truth. + +Yet such people as these often deserve pity as much as blame: they are, +perhaps, unconscious of the degree in which habit has made them +insensible to the perversion of truth in their statements; and even now +they scarcely believe that what seems to them so true should appear and +really be false to others. The intellectual effects of such habits are +equally injurious with the moral ones. All natural clearness and +distinctness of intellect becomes gradually obscured; the memory becomes +perplexed; the very style of writing acquires the taint of the +perverted mind. Truth is impressed upon every line of Dr. Arnold's +vigorous diction, while other writers of equal, perhaps, but less +respectable eminence, betray, even in their mode of expression, the +habitual want of honesty in their character and in their statements. + +In your case, none of the habits of which I have spoken are, as yet, +firmly implanted. A warm temper, ardent feelings, and a vivid +imagination are, as yet, the only causes of your errors. You have still +time and power to struggle against them, as the chains of habit have not +been added to those of nature. But, before the struggle begins, you must +be convinced of its necessity; and this is probably the point on which +you are entirely incredulous. Listen to me, then, while I help you to +discover the hidden mysteries of a heart that "is deceitful above all +things," and let the self-examination I urge upon you be prompt, be +immediate. Let it be exercised through the day that is coming; watch the +manner in which you express yourself on every subject; observe, +especially those temptations which will assail you to venture upon +greater deviations from truth than those which you think you may +harmlessly indulge in, under the sanction of vivid imagination, poetic +fancy, &c. This latter part of the examination may throw great light on +the subject: people are not assailed frequently and strongly by +temptations that have never, at any former time, been yielded to. + +I have reason to believe that, as one of the preparations for such +self-examination, you entertain a deep sense of the exceeding sinfulness +of sin, and feel an anxious desire to approve yourself as a faithful +servant to your heavenly Master. I do not, therefore, suppose that at +present any temptation would induce you to incur the guilt of a +deliberate falsehood. The perception of moral evil may, however, be so +blunted by habits of mere carelessness, that I should have no dependence +on your adhering for many future years to even this degree of plain, +downright truth, unless those habits are decidedly broken through. But +do not, from this, imagine that I consider a distinct, decided falsehood +more, but rather less, dangerous for the future of your character than +those lighter errors of which I have spoken. Though you may sink so far, +in course of time, as to consider even a direct lie a very small +transgression of the law of God, you will never be able to persuade +yourself that it is entirely free from sin. The injury, too, to our +neighbour, of a direct lie, can be so much more easily guarded against, +that, for the sake of others, I am far more earnest in warning you +against equivocation than against decided falsehood. It is sadly +difficult for the injured person to ward off the effects of a deceitful +glance, a misleading action, an artful insinuation. No earthly defence +is of any avail here, as the sorrows of many a wounded heart can +testify; but for such injured ones there is a sure, though it may be a +long-suffering, Defender. He is the Judge of all the earth; and even in +this world he will visit, with a punishment inevitably involved in the +consequences of their crime, those who have in any manner deceived their +neighbour to his hurt. + +I do not, however, accuse you of exaggerating or equivocating from +malice alone: no,--more frequently it is for the sake of mere +amusement, or, at the worst, in cowardly self-defence; that is, you +prefer throwing the blame by insinuation upon an innocent person to +bearing courageously what you deserve yourself. In most cases, indeed, +you can plead in excuse that the blame is not of any serious nature; +that the insinuated accusation is slight enough to be entirely harmless: +so it may appear to you, but so it frequently happens not to be. This +insinuated accusation, appearing to you so unimportant, may have some +peculiar relations that make it more injurious to the slandered one than +the original blame could have been to yourself. It may be the means of +separating her from her chief friend, or shaking her influence in +quarters where perhaps it was of great importance to her that it should +be preserved unimpaired. When we lay sinful hands on the complicated +machinery of God's providence, it is impossible for us to see how far +the derangement may extend. + +You may, during the course of this coming day, have an opportunity of +giving your own version of a matter in which another was concerned with +you, and in which, if the blame is thrown on her, she will have no +opportunity of defending herself. Be on your guard, then; have a noble +courage; fear nothing but the meanness and the wickedness of accusing +the absent and the defenceless. The opportunity offered you to-day of +speaking conscientiously, however trifling it may in itself appear, may +possibly be the turning point of your life; may lead you on to future +habits of cowardice and deceit, or may impart to you new vigilance and +energy for future victories over temptation. + +You may, also, during the course of this day, be strongly tempted as to +the mode of repeating what another has said in conversation: the +slightest turn in the expression of the sentence, the insertion or +omission of one little word, the change of a weaker to a stronger +expression, may exactly adapt to your purpose the sentence you are +tempted to repeat. You may also often be able to say to yourself that +you are giving the impression of the real meaning of the speaker, only +withheld by herself because she had not courage to express it. +Opportunities such as these are continually offering themselves to you, +and you have ingenuity enough to make the desired change in the repeated +sentence so effectual, that there will be no danger of contradiction, +even if the betrayed person should discover that she is called upon to +defend herself. I have heard this so cleverly done, that the success was +complete, and the poor slandered one lost, in consequence, her admirer +or her friend, or at least much of her influence over them. You, too, +may in like manner succeed: but what is the loss of others in comparison +of the penalty of your success? The punishment of successful sin is not +to be escaped. + +In any of the cases I here bring forward as illustrations, as helps to +your self-examination, I am not supposing that there is any tangible, +positive, wilful deceit in your heart, or that you deliberately +contemplate any very serious injury being inflicted on the persons whose +conversations and actions you misrepresent. On the contrary, I know that +you are not thus hardened in sin. With regard, however, to the deceit +not assuming any tangible form in your own eyes, you ought to remember +the solemn words, "Thou, O God I seest me;" and what is sin in his eyes +can only fail to be so in ours from the neglect of strict +self-examination and prayer that the Spirit of the Lord may search the +very depths of the heart. Sins of ignorance seem to assume even a deeper +dye than others, when the ignorance only arises from wilful neglect of +the means of knowledge so abundantly and freely bestowed. When you once +begin in right earnest to try to speak the truth from your heart, in the +smallest as well as in the greatest things, you will be surprised to +find how difficult it is. Carelessness, false shame, a desire for +admiration, a vanity that leads you to disclaim any interest in that +which you cannot obtain,--these are all temptations that beset your +path, and ought to terrify you against adding the chains of habit to so +many other difficulties. + +There is one more point of view in which I wish you to consider this +subject; that, namely, of "honesty being the best policy." There is no +falsehood that is not found out in the end, and so turned to the shame +of the person who is guilty of it. You may perpetually dread, even at +present, the eye of the discriminating observer; she can see through +you, even at the very moment of your committal of sin; she quickly +discovers that it is your habit to depreciate people or things, only +because you are not in your turn valued by them, or because you cannot +obtain them; she can see, in a few minutes' conversation, that it is +your habit to say that you are admired and loved, that your society is +eagerly sought for by such and such people, whether it be the case or +not. Quick observers discover in a first interview what others will not +fail to discover after a time. They will then cease to depend upon you +for information on any subject in which your own interest or your vanity +is concerned. They will turn up their eyes in wonder, from habit and +politeness, not from belief. They will always suspect some hidden motive +for your words, instead of the one you put forward; nay, your giving one +reason for your actions will, by itself alone, set them on the search to +discover a different one. All this, perhaps, will in many cases take +place without their accusing you, even in their secret thoughts, of +being a liar. They have only a vague consciousness that you are, it may +be involuntarily, quite incapable of giving correct information. + +The habitual, the known truth-speaker, occupies a proud position. Alas! +that it should be so rare. Alas! that, even among professedly religious +people, there should be so few who speak the truth from the heart; so +few to whom one can turn with a fearless confidence to ask for +information on any points of personal interest. I need not to be told +that it is during childhood that the formation of strict habits of +truthfulness is at once most sure and most easy. The difficulty is +indeed increased ten thousandfold, when the neglect of parents has +suffered even careless habits on this point to be contracted. The +difficulties, however, though great, are not insuperable to those who +seek the freely-offered grace of God to help them in the conflict. The +resistance to temptation, the self-control, will indeed be more +difficult when the effort begins later in life; but the victory will be +also the more glorious, and the general effects on the character more +permanent and beneficial. Not that this serves as any excuse for the +cruel neglect of parents, for they can have no certainty that future +repentance will be granted for those habits of sin, the formation of +which they might have prevented. + +Dwelling, however, even in thought, on the neglect of our parents can +only lead to vain murmurings and complainings, and prevent the +concentration of all our energies and interest upon the extirpation of +the dangerous root of evil. + +In this case, as in all others, though the sin of the parent is surely +visited on the children, the very visitation is turned into a blessing +for those who love God. To such blessed ones it becomes the means of +imparting greater strength and vigour to the character, from the +perpetual conflicts to which it is exposed in its efforts to overcome +early habits of evil. + +Thus even sin itself is not excepted from the "all things" that "work +together for good to them that love God."[36] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[36] Rom. viii. 28. + + + + +LETTER IV. + +ENVY. + + +It is, perhaps, an "unknown friend" only who would venture to address a +remonstrance to you on that particular sin which forms the subject of +the following pages; for it seems equally acknowledged by those who are +guilty of it, and those who are entirely free from its taint, that there +is no bad quality meaner, more degrading, than that of envy. Who, +therefore, could venture openly to accuse another of such a failing, +however kind and disinterested the motive, and still be admitted to rank +as her friend? + +There is, besides, a strong impression that, where this failing does +exist, it is so closely interwoven with the whole texture of the +character, that it can never be separated from it while life and this +body of sin remain. This is undoubtedly thus far true, that its +ramifications are more minute, and more universally pervading, than +those of any other moral defect; so that, on the one hand, while even an +anxious and diligent self-examination cannot always detect their +existence, so, on the other, it is scarcely possible for its victims to +be excited by an emotion of any nature with which envy will not, in some +manner or other, connect itself. It is still further true, that no vice +can be more difficult of extirpation, the form it assumes being seldom +sufficiently tangible to allow of the whole weight of religious and +moral motives being brought to bear upon it. But the greatest +difficulty of all is, in my mind, the inadequate conception of the +exceeding evil of this disposition, of the misery it entails on +ourselves, the danger and the constant annoyance to which it exposes all +connected with us. Few would recognise their own picture, however strong +the likeness in fact might be, in the following vivid description of +Lavater's:--"Lorsque je cherche à représenter Satan, je me figure une +personne que les bonnes qualités d'autrui font souffrir, et qui se +réjouit des fautes et des malheurs du prochain." + +Analyze strictly, however, during even this one day, the feelings that +have given you the most annoyance, and the contemplated or executed +measures of deed or word to which those feelings have prompted you, and +you must plead guilty to the heinous charge of "rejoicing at your +brother's faults and misfortunes." It is not so much, indeed, with +relation to important matters that this feeling is excited within you. +If you hear of your friends being left large fortunes, or forming +connections calculated to promote their happiness, you are not annoyed +or grieved: you may even, perhaps, experience some sensations of +pleasure. If, however, the circumstances of good fortune are brought +more home to yourself, perhaps into collision with yourself, by being of +a more trifling nature, you often experience a regret or annoyance at +the success or the happiness of others, which would be ludicrous, if it +were not so wicked. Neither is there any vice which displays itself so +readily to the keen eye of observation: even when the guarded tongue +restrains the disclosure, the expression of the lip and eye is +unmistakeable, and gradually impresses a character on the countenance +which remains at times when the feeling itself is quite dormant. Only +contemplate your case in this point of view: is it not, when +dispassionately considered, shocking to think, that when a stranger +hopes to gratify you by the praise, the judicious and well-merited +praise, of your dearest friend, a pang is inflicted on you by the very +words that ought to sound as pleasant music in your ears? I have even +heard some persons so incautious, under such circumstances, as to +qualify the praise that gives them pain, by detracting from the merits +of the person under discussion, though that person be their particular +friend. This is done in a variety of ways: her merits and advantages may +be accounted for by the peculiarly favouring circumstances in which she +has been placed; or different disparaging opinions entertained of her, +by other people better qualified to judge, may also be mentioned. Now, +many persons thus imprudent are by no means utterly foolish at other +times; yet, in the moment of temptation from their besetting sin, they +do not observe how inevitable it is that the stranger so replied to +should immediately detect their unamiable motives, and estimate them +accordingly. + +You will not, perhaps, fall into so open a snare, for you have +sufficient tact and quickness of perception to know that, under such +circumstances, you must, on your own account, bury in your bosom those +emotions of pain which I much fear you will generally feel. It is not, +however, the outward expression of such emotions, but their inward +experience, which is the real question we are considering, both as +regards your present happiness and your eternal interest. Ask yourself +whether it is a pleasurable sensation, or the contrary, when those you +love (I am still putting a strong case) are admired and appreciated, ire +held up as examples of excellence? If you love truly, if you are free +from envy, such praise will be far sweeter to your ears than any +bestowed on yourself could ever be. Indeed, it might be considered a +sufficient punishment for this vice, to be deprived of the deep and +virtuous sensation of delight experienced by the loving heart when +admiration is warmly expressed for the objects of their affection. + +There has been a time when I should have scornfully rejected the +supposition that such a failing as envy could exist in companionship +with aught that was loveable or amiable. More observation of character +has, however, given me the unpleasant conviction that it occasionally +may be found in the close neighbourhood of contrasting excellences. +Alas! instead of being concealed or gradually overgrown by them, it, on +the contrary, spreads its deadly blight over any noble features that may +have originally existed in the character. Nothing but the severest +discipline, external and internal, can arrest this, its natural course. + +When you were younger, the feelings which I now warn you against were +called jealousy, and even now some indulgent friends may continue to +give them this false name. Do not you suffer the dangerous delusion! +Have the courage to place your feelings in all their natural deformity +before you, and this sight will give you energy to pursue any regimen, +however severe, that may be required to subdue them. + +I do really believe that it is the false name of jealousy that prevents +many an early struggle against the real vice of envy. I have heard young +women even boast of the jealousy of their disposition, insinuating that +it was to be considered as a proof of warm feelings and an affectionate +heart. Perhaps genuine jealousy may deserve to be so considered: the +anxious watching over even imaginary diminution of affection or esteem +in those we love and respect, the vigilance to detect the slightest +external manifestation of any diminution in their tenderness and regard, +though proving a deficiency in that noble faith which is the surest +safeguard and the firmest foundation of love and friendship, may, in +some cases, be an evidence of affection and warmth in the disposition +and the heart. So close, however, is the connection between envy and +jealousy, that the latter in one moment may change into the former. The +most watchful circumspection, therefore, is required, lest that which +is, even in its best form, a weakness and an instrument of misery to +ourselves and others, should still further degenerate into a meanness +and a vice;--as, for instance, when you fear that the person you love +may be induced, by seeing the excellences of another, to withdraw from +you some of the time, admiration, and affection you wish to be +exclusively bestowed upon yourself. In this case, there is a strong +temptation to display the failings of the dreaded rival, or, at the +best, to feel no regret at their chance display. Under such +circumstances, even the excusable jealousy of affection passes over into +the vice of envy. The connection between them is, indeed, dangerously +close; but it is easy to trace the boundary line, if we are inclined to +do so. Jealousy is contented with the affection and admiration of those +it loves and respects; envy is in despair, if those whom it despises +bestow the least portion of attention or admiration on those whom +perhaps she despises still more. Jealousy inquires only into the +feelings of the few valued ones; envy makes no distinction in her +cravings for universal preference. The very attentions and admiration +which were considered valueless, nay, troublesome, as long as they were +bestowed on herself, become of exceeding importance when they are +transferred to another. Envy would make use of any means whatever to win +back the friend or the admirer whose transferred attentions were +affording pleasure to another. The power of inflicting pain and +disappointment on one whose superiority is envied, bestows on the object +of former indifference, or even contempt, a new and powerful attraction. +This is very wicked, very mean, you will say, and shrink back in horror +from the supposition of any resemblance to such characters as those I +have just described. Alas! your indignation may be honest, but it is +without foundation. Already those earlier symptoms are constantly +appearing, which, if not sternly checked, must in time grow into +hopeless deformity of character. There is nothing that undermines all +virtuous and noble qualities more surely or more insidiously than the +indulged vice of envy. Its unresisting victims become, by degrees, +capable of every species of detraction, until they lose even the very +power of perceiving that which is true. They become, too, incapable of +all generous self-denial and self-sacrifice; feelings of bitterness +towards every successful rival (and there are few who may not be our +rivals on some one point or other) gradually diffuse themselves +throughout the heart, and leave no place for that love of our neighbour +which the Scriptures have stated to be the test of love to God.[37] + +Unlike most other vices, envy can never want an opportunity of +indulgence; so that, unless it is early detected and vigilantly +controlled, its rapid growth is inevitable. + +Early detection is the first point; and in that I am most anxious to +assist you. Perhaps, till now, the possibility of your being guilty of +the vice of envy has never entered your thoughts. When any thing +resembling it has forced itself on your notice, you have probably given +it the name of jealousy, and have attributed the painful emotions it +excited to the too tender susceptibilities of your nature. Ridiculous as +such self-deception is, I have seen too many instances of it to doubt +the probability of its existing in your case. + +I am not, in general, an advocate for the minute analysis of mental +emotions: the reality of them most frequently evaporates during the +process, as in anatomy the principle of life escapes during the most +vigilant anatomical examination. In the case, however, of seeking the +detection of a before unknown failing, a strict mental inquiry must +necessarily be instituted. The many great dangers of mental anatomy may +be partly avoided by confining your observations to the external +symptoms, instead of to the state of mind from whence they proceed. This +will be the safer as well as the more effectual mode of bringing +conviction home to your mind. For instance, I would have you watch the +emotions excited when enthusiastic praise is bestowed upon another, with +relation to those very qualities you are the most anxious should be +admired in yourself. When the conversation or the accomplishments of +another fix the attention which was withheld from your own,--when the +opinion of another, with whom you fancy yourself on an equality, is put +forward as deserving of being followed in preference to your own, I can +imagine you possessed of sufficient self-respect to restrain any +external tokens of envy: you will not insinuate, as meaner spirits would +do, that the beauty, or the dress, or the accomplishments so highly +extolled are preserved, cherished, and cultivated at the expense of +time, kindly feelings, and the duty of almsgiving--that the conversation +is considered by many competent judges flippant, or pedantic, or +presuming--that the opinion cannot be of much value when the conduct has +been in some instances so deficient in prudence. + +These are all remarks which envy may easily find an opportunity of +insinuating against any of its rivals; but, as I said before, I imagine +that you have too much self-respect to manifest openly such feelings, to +reveal such meanness to the eyes of man. Alas! you have not an equal +fear of the all-seeing eye of God. What I apprehend most for you is the +allowing yourself to cherish secretly all these palliative +circumstances, that you may thus reconcile yourself to a superiority +that mortifies you. If you habitually allow yourself in this practice, +it will be almost impossible to avoid feeling pleasure instead of pain +when these same circumstances happen to be pointed out by others, and +when you have thus all the benefit, and none of the guilt or shame, of +the disclosure. When envy is freely allowed to take these two first +steps, a further progress is inevitable. Self-respect itself will not +long preserve you from outward demonstrations of that which is inwardly +indulged, and you are sure to become in time the object of just contempt +and ridicule. It will soon be well known that the surest way to inflict +pain upon you is to extol the excellences or to dwell on the happiness +of others, and your failings will be considered an amusing subject for +jesting observation to experimentalize upon. I have often watched the +downward progress I have just described; and, unless the grace of God, +working with your own vigorous self-control, should alter your present +frame of mind, I can see no reason why you should escape when others +inevitably fall. + +The circumstance in which this vice manifests itself most painfully and +most dangerously is that of a large family. How deplorable is it, when, +instead of making each separate interest the interest of the whole, and +rejoicing in the love and admiration bestowed on each separate +individual, as if it were bestowed on the whole, such love and such +admiration excite, on the contrary, irritation and regret. + +Among children, this evil seldom attracts notice; if one girl is praised +for dancing or singing much better than her sister, and the sister +taunted into further efforts by insulting comparisons, the poor mistaken +parent little thinks that, in the pain she inflicts on the depreciated +child, she is implanting a perennial root of danger and sorrow. The +child may cry and sob at the time, and afterward feel uncomfortable in +the presence of one whose superiority has been made the means of +worrying her; and, if envious by nature, she will probably take the +first opportunity of pointing out to the teachers any little error of +her sister's. The permanent injury, however, remains to be effected when +they both grow to woman's estate; the envious sister will then take +every artful opportunity of lessening the influence of the one who is +considered her superior, of insinuating charges against her to those +whose good opinion they both value the most. And she is only too easily +successful; she is successful, that success may bring upon her the +penalty of her sin, for Heaven is then the most incensed against us when +our sin appears to prosper. Various and inexhaustible are the mere +temporal punishments of this sin of envy; of the sin which deprives +another of even one shade of the influence, admiration, and affection, +they would otherwise have enjoyed. + +If the preference of a female friend excites angry and jealous feelings, +the attentions of an admirer are probably still more envied. In some +unhappy families, one may observe the beginning of any such attentions +by the vigilant depreciation of the admirer, and the anxious +manoeuvres to prevent any opportunities of cultivating the detected +preference. What prosperity can be hoped for to a family in which the +supposed advantage and happiness of one individual member is feared and +guarded against, instead of being considered an interest belonging to +the whole? You will be shocked at such pictures as these: alas! that +they should be so frequent even in domestic England, the land of happy +homes and strong family ties. You are of course still more shocked at +hearing that I attribute to yourself any shade of so deadly a vice as +that above described; and as long as you do not attribute it to +yourself, my warning voice will be raised in vain: I am not, however, +without hope that the vigilant self-examination, which your real wish +for improvement will probably soon render habitual, may open your eyes +to your danger while it can still be easily averted. Supposing this to +be the case, I would earnestly suggest to you the following means of +cure. First, earnest prayer against this particular sin, earnest prayer +to be brought into "a higher moral atmosphere," one of unfeigned love to +our neighbour, one of rejoicing with all who do rejoice, "and weeping +with those who weep." This general habit is of the greatest importance +to cultivate: we should strive naturally and instinctively to feel +pleasure when another is loved, or praised, or fortunate; we should try +to strengthen our sympathies, to make the feelings of others, as much as +possible, our own. Many an early emotion of envy might be instantly +checked by throwing one's self into the position of the envied one, and +exerting the imagination to conceive vividly the pleasure or the pain +she must experience: this will, even at the time, make us forgetful of +self, and will gradually bring us into the habit of feeling for the pain +and pleasure of others, as if we really believed them to be members of +the same mystical body.[38] We should, in the next place, attack the +symptoms of the vice we wish to eradicate; we should seek by reasonable +considerations to realize the absurdity of our envy: for this, nothing +is more essential than the ascertaining of our own level, and fairly +making up our minds to the certain superiority of others. As soon as +this is distinctly acknowledged, much of the pain of the inferior +estimation in which we are held will be removed: "There is no disgrace +in being eclipsed by Jupiter." Next, let us examine into the details of +the law of compensation--one which is never infringed; let us consider +that the very superiority of others involves many unpleasantnesses, of a +kind, perhaps, the most disagreeable to us. For instance, it often +involves the necessity of a sacrifice of time and feelings, and almost +invariably creates an isolation,--consequences from which we, perhaps, +should fearfully shrink. On the brilliant conversationist is inflicted +the penalty of never enjoying a rest in society: her expected employment +is to amuse others, not herself; the beauty is the dread of all the +jealous wives and anxious mothers, and the object of a notice which is +almost incompatible with happiness: I never saw a happy beauty, did you? +The great genius is shunned and feared by, perhaps, the very people whom +she is most desirous to attract; the exquisite musician is asked into +society _en artiste_, expected to contribute a certain species of +amusement, the world refusing to receive any other from her. The woman +who is surrounded by admirers is often wearied to death of attentions +which lose all their charm with their novelty, and which frequently +serve to deprive her of the only affection she really values. Experience +will convince you of the great truth, that there is a law of +compensation in all things. The same law also holds good with regard to +the preferences shown to those who have no superiority over us, who are +nothing more than our equals in beauty, in cleverness, in +accomplishments. If Ellen B. or Lydia C. is liked more than you are by +one person, you, in your turn, will be preferred by another; no one who +seeks for affection and approbation, and who really deserves it, ever +finally fails of acquiring it. You have no right to expect that every +one should like you the best: if you considered such expectations in the +abstract, you would be forced to acknowledge their absurdity. Besides, +would it not be a great annoyance to you to give up your time and +attention to conversing with, or writing to, the very people whose +preference you envy for Ellen B. or Lydia C.? They are suited to each +other, and like each other: in good time, you will meet with people who +suit you, and who will consequently like you; nay, perhaps at this +present moment, you may have many friends who delight in your society, +and admire your character: will you lose the pleasure which such +blessings are intended to confer, by envying the preferences shown to +others? Bring the subject distinctly and clearly home to your mind. +Whenever you feel an emotion of pain, have the courage to trace it to +its source, place this emotion in all its meanness before you, then +think how ridiculous it would appear to you if you contemplated it in +another. Finally, ask yourself whether there can be any indulgence of +such feelings in a heart that is bringing into captivity every thought +to the obedience of Christ,--whether there can be any room for them in a +temple of God wherein the spirit of God dwelleth.[39] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[37] 1 John iii. + +[38] 1 Cor. xii. 25, 26. + +[39] Cor. iii. 16. + + + + +LETTER V. + +SELFISHNESS AND UNSELFISHNESS. + + +This is a difficult subject to address you upon, and one which you will +probably reject as unsuited to yourself. There are few qualities that +the possessor is less likely to be conscious of than either selfishness +or unselfishness; because the actions proceeding from either are so +completely instinctive, so unregulated by any appeal to principle, that +they never, in the common course of things, attract any particular +notice. We go on, therefore, strengthening ourselves in the habits of +either, until a double nature, as it were, is formed, overlaying the +first, and equally powerful with it. How unlovely is this in the case of +selfishness, even where there are, besides, fine and striking features +in the general character, and how lovely in the case of unselfishness, +even when, as too frequently happens, there is little comparative +strength or nobleness in its intellectual and moral accompaniments! + +You are now young, you are affectionate, good-natured, obliging, +possessed of gay and happy spirits, and a sweetness of temper that is +seldom seen united with so much sparkling wit and lively sensibilities. +Altogether, then, you are considered a very attractive person, and, in +the love which all those qualities have won for you from those around +you, may bring forward strong evidence against my charge of selfishness. +But is not this love more especially felt by those who are not brought +into daily and hourly collision with you. They only see you bright with +good-humour, ready to talk, to laugh, and to make merry with them in any +way they please. They therefore, in all probability, do not think you +selfish. Are you certain, however, that the estimate formed of you by +your nearest relatives will not be the estimate formed of you by even +acquaintance some years hence, when lessened good-humour and +strengthened habits of selfishness have brought out into more striking +relief the natural faults of your character? + +The selfishness of the gay, amusing, good-humoured girl is often +unobserved, almost always tolerated; but when youth, beauty, and +vivacity are gone, the vice appears in its native deformity, and she who +indulges it becomes as unlovely as unloved. It is for the future you +have cause to fear,--a future for which you are preparing gloom and +dislike by the habits you are now forming in the small details of daily +life, as well as in the pleasurable excitements of social intercourse. +As I said before, these, at present almost imperceptible, habits are +unheeded by those who are only your acquaintance: but they are not the +less sowing the seeds of future unhappiness for you. You will, +assuredly, at some period or other, reap in dislike what you are now +sowing in selfishness. If, however, the warning voice of an "unknown +friend" is attended to, there is yet time to complete a comparatively +easy victory over this, your besetting sin; while, on the contrary, +every week and every month's delay, by riveting more strongly the chains +of habit, increases at once your difficulties and your consequent +discouragement. + +This day, this very hour, the conflict ought to begin: but, alas! how +may this be, when you are not yet even aware of the existence of that +danger which I warn you. It is most truly "a part of sin to be +unconscious of itself."[40] It will also be doubly difficult to effect +the necessary preliminary of convincing you of selfishness, when I am so +situated as not to be able to point out to you with certainty any +particular act indicative of the vice in question. This obliges me to +enter into more varied details, to touch a thousand different strings, +in the hope that, among so many, I may by chance touch upon the right +one. + +Now, it is a certain fact, that in such inquiries as the present, our +enemies may be of much more use to us than our friends. They may, they +generally do, exaggerate our faults, but the exaggeration gives them a +relief and depth of colouring which may enable the accusation to force +its way through the dimness and heavy-sightedness of our self-deception. +Examine yourself, then, with respect to those accusations which others +bring against you in moments of anger and excitement; place yourself in +the situation of the injured party, and ask yourself whether you would +not attach tho blame of selfishness to similar conduct in another +person. For instance, you may perhaps be seated in a comfortable chair +by a comfortable fire, reading an interesting book, and a brother or +sister comes in to request that you will help them in packing something, +or writing something that must be finished at a certain time, and that +cannot be done without your assistance: the interruption alone, at a +critical part of the story, or in the middle of an abstruse and +interesting argument, is enough to irritate your temper and to +disqualify you for listening with an unprejudiced ear to the request +that is made to you. You answer, probably, in a tone of irritation; you +say that it is impossible, that the business ought to have been attended +to earlier, and that they could then have concluded it without your +assistance; or perhaps you rise and go with them, and execute the thing +to be done in a most ungracious manner, with a pouting lip and a surly +tone, insinuating, too, for days afterwards, how much you had been +annoyed and inconvenienced. The case would have been different if a +stranger had made the request of you, or a friend, or any one but a near +and probably very dear relative. In the former case, there would have +been, first, the excitement which always in some degree distinguishes +social from mere family intercourse; there would have been the wish to +keep up their good opinion of your character, which they may have been +deluded into considering the very reverse of unselfish. Lastly, their +thanks would of course be more warm than those which you are likely to +receive from a relative, (who instinctively feels it to be your duty to +help in the family labours,) and thus your vanity would have been +sufficiently gratified to reconcile you to the trouble and interruption +to which you had been exposed. + +Still further, it is, perhaps, only to your own family that you would +have indulged in that introductory irritation of which I have spoken. +We have all witnessed cases in which inexcusable excitement has been +displayed towards relatives or servants who have announced unpleasant +interruptions, in the shape of an unwelcome visitor; while the moment +afterwards the real offender has been greeted with an unclouded brow and +a warm welcome, she not having the misfortune of being so closely +connected with you as the innocent victim of your previous ill-temper. + +I enter into these details, not because they are necessarily connected +with selfishness, for many unselfish, generous-minded people are the +unfortunate victims of ill-temper, to which vice the preceding traits of +character more peculiarly belong; but for the purpose of showing you +that your conduct towards strangers can be no test of your +unselfishness. It is only in the more trying details of daily life that +the existence of the vice or the virtue can be evidenced. It is, +nevertheless, upon qualities so imperceptible to yourself as to require +this close scrutiny that most of the happiness and comfort of domestic +life depends. + +You know the story of the watch that had been long out of order, and the +cause of its irregularity not to be discovered. At length, one +watchmaker, more ingenious than the rest, suggested that a magnet might, +by some chance, have touched the mainspring. This was ascertained by +experiment to have been the case; the casual and temporary neighbourhood +of a magnet had deranged the whole complicated machinery: and on equally +imperceptible, often undiscoverable, trifles does the healthy movement +of the mainspring of domestic happiness depend. Observe, then, +carefully, every irregularity in its motion, and exercise your +ingenuity to discover the cause in good time; the derangement may +otherwise soon become incurable, both by the strengthening of your own +habits, and the dispositions towards you which they will impress on the +minds of others. + +Do let me entreat you, then, to watch yourself during the course of even +this one day,--first, for the purpose of ascertaining whether my +accusation of selfishness is or is not well founded, and afterwards, for +the purpose of seeking to eradicate from your character every taint of +so unlovely, and, for the credit of the sex, I may add, so unfeminine a +failing. + +Before we proceed further on this subject, I must attempt to lay down a +definition of selfishness, lest you should suppose that I am so mistaken +as to confound with the vice above named that self-love, which is at +once an allowable instinct and a positive duty. + +Selfishness, then, I consider as a perversion of the natural and +divinely-impressed instinct of self-love. It is a desire for things +which are not really good for us, followed by an endeavour to obtain +those things to the injury of our neighbour.[41] Where a sacrifice which +benefits your neighbour can inflict no _real_ injury on yourself, it +would be selfishness not to make the sacrifice. On the contrary, where +either one or the other must suffer an equal injury, (equal in all +points of view--in permanence, in powers of endurance, &c.,) self-love +requires that you should here prefer yourself. You have no right to +sacrifice your own health, your own happiness, or your own life, to +preserve the health, or the life, or the happiness of another; for none +of these things are your own: they are only entrusted to your +stewardship, to be made the best use of for God's glory. Your health is +given you that you may have the free disposal of all your mental and +bodily powers to employ them in his service; your happiness, that you +may have energy to diffuse peace and cheerfulness around you; your life, +that you may "work out your salvation with fear and trembling." We read +of fine sacrifices of the kind I deprecate in novels and romances: we +may admire them in heathen story; but with such sacrifices the real +Christian has no concern. He must not give away that which is not his +own. "Ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, +and in your spirit, which are God's."[42] + +In the case of a sacrifice of life--one which, of course, can very +rarely occur,--the dangerous results of thus, as it were, taking events +out of the hand of God cannot be always visible to our sight at present: +we should, however, contemplate what they might possibly be. Let us, +then, consider the injury that may result to the self-sacrificer, +throughout the countless ages of eternity, from the loss of that +working-time of hours, days, and years, wilfully flung from him for the +uncertain benefit of another. Yes, uncertain, for the person may at that +time have been in a state of greater meetness for heaven than he will +ever again enjoy: there may be future fearful temptations, and +consequent falling into sin, from which he would have been preserved if +his death had taken place when the providence of God seemed to will it. +Of course, none of us can, by the most wilful disobedience, dispose +events in any way but exactly that which his hand and his counsel have +determined before the foundation of the world;[43] but when we go out of +the narrow path of duty, we attempt, as far as in us lies, to reverse +his unchangeable decrees, and we "have our reward;" we mar our own +welfare, and that of others, when we make any effort to take the +providing for it out of the hands of the Omnipotent. + +It is, however, only for the establishment of a principle that it could +be necessary to discuss the duties involved in such rare emergencies. I +shall therefore proceed without further delay to the more common +sacrifices of which I have spoken, and explain to you what I mean by +such sacrifices. + +I have alluded to those of health and happiness. We have all known the +first wilfully thrown away by needless attendance on such sick friends +as would have been equally well taken care of had servants or hired +nurses shared in the otherwise overpowering labour. Often is this labour +found to incapacitate the nurse-tending friend for fulfilling towards +the convalescent those offices in which no menial could supply her place +--such as the cheering of the drooping spirit, the selection and patient +perusal of amusing books, an animated, amusing companionship in their +walks and drives, the humouring of their sick fancy--a sickness that +often increases as that of the body decreases. For all these trying +duties, during the often long and always painfully tedious period of +convalescence, the nightly watcher of the sick-bed has, it is most +likely, unfitted herself. The affection and devotion which were useless +and unheeded during days and nights of stupor and delirium have probably +by this time worn out the weak body which they have been exciting to +efforts beyond its strength, so that it is now incapable of more useful +demonstrations of attachment. Far be it from me to depreciate that fond, +devoted watching of love, which is sometimes even a compensation to the +invalid for the sufferings of sickness, at periods, too, when hired +attendance could not be tolerated. Here woman's love and devotion are +often brightly shown. The natural impulses of her heart lead her to +trample under foot all consideration of personal danger, fatigue, or +weakness, when the need of her loved ones demands her exertions. + +This, however, is comparatively easy; it is only following the instincts +of her loving nature never to leave the sick room, where all her +anxiety, all her hopes and fears are centred,--never to breathe the +fresh air of heaven,--never to mingle in the social circle,--never to +rest the weary limbs, or close the languid eye. The excitement of love +and anxiety makes all this easy as long as the anxiety itself lasts: but +when danger is removed, and the more trying duties of tending the +convalescent begin, the genuine devotion of self-denial and +unselfishness is put to the test. + +Nothing is more difficult than to bear with patience the apparently +unreasonable depression and ever-varying whims of the peevish +convalescent, whose powers of self-control have been prostrated by long +bodily exhaustion. Nothing is more trying than to find anxious exertions +for their comfort and amusement, either entirely unnoticed and useless, +or met with petulant contradiction and ungrateful irritation. Those who +have themselves experienced the helplessness caused by disease well know +how bitterly the trial is shared by the invalid herself. How deeply she +often mourns over the unreasonableness and irritation she is without +power to control, and what tears of anguish she sheds in secret over +those acts of neglect and words of unkindness her own ill-humour and +apparent ingratitude have unintentionally provoked. + +Those who feel the sympathy of experience will surely wish, under all +such circumstances, to exercise untiring patience and unremitting +attention; but, however strong this wish may be, they cannot execute +their purpose if their own health has been injured by previous +unnecessary watchings, by exclusion from fresh air and exercise. Those +whose nervous system has been thus unstrung will never be equal to the +painful exertion which the recovering invalid now requires. How much +better it would have been for her if walks and sleep had been taken at +times when an attentive nurse would have done just as well to sit at the +bedside, when absence would have been unnoticed, or only temporarily +regretted! This prudent, and, we must remember, generally self-denying +care of one's self, would have averted the future bodily illness or +nervous depression of the nurse of the convalescent, at a time too when +the latter has become painfully alive to every look and word, as well as +act, of diminished attention and watchfulness; you will surely feel +deep self-reproach if, from any cause, you are unable to control your +own temper, and to bear with cheerful patience the petulance of hers. + +I have dwelt so long on this part of my subject, because I think it very +probable that, with your warm affections, and before your selfishness +has been hardened by habits of self-indulgence, you might some time or +other fall into the error I have been describing. In the ardour of your +anxiety for some beloved relative, you may be induced to persevere in +such close attendance on the sick-bed as may seriously injure your own +health, and unfit you for more useful, and certainly more self-denying +exertion afterwards. How much easier is it to spend days and nights by +the sick-bed of one from whom we are in hourly dread of a final +separation, whose helpless and suffering state excites the strongest +feelings of compassion and anxiety, than to sit by the sofa, or walk by +the side, of the same invalid when she has regained just sufficient +strength to experience discomfort in every thing;--when she never finds +her sofa arranged or placed to her satisfaction; is never pleased with +the carriage, or the drive, or the walk you have chosen; is never +interested in the book or the conversation with which you anxiously and +laboriously try to amuse her. Here it is that woman's power of +endurance, that the real strength and nobleness of her character is put +to the most difficult test. Well, too, has this test been borne: right +womanly has been the conduct of many a loving wife, mother, and sister, +under the trying circumstances above described. Woman alone, perhaps, +can steadily maintain the clear vision of what the beloved one really +is, and can patiently view the wearisome ebullitions of ill-temper and +discontent as symptoms equally physical with a cough or a hectic flush. + +This noble picture of self-control can be realized only by those who +keep even the best instincts of a woman's nature under the government of +strict principle, remembering that the most beautiful of these instincts +may not be followed without guidance or restraint. Those who yield to +such instincts without reflection and self-denial will exhaust their +energies before the time comes for the fulfilment of duties. + +The third branch of my subject is the most difficult. It may, indeed, +appear strange that we should not have the right to sacrifice our own +happiness: that surely belongs to us to dispose of, if nothing else +does. Besides, happiness is evidently not the state of being intended +for us here below; and that much higher state of mind from which all +"_hap_"[44] is excluded--viz. blessedness--is seldom granted unless the +other is altogether withdrawn. + +You must, however, observe that this blessedness is only granted when +the lower state--that of happiness--could not be preserved except by a +positive breach of duty, or when it is withheld or destroyed by the +immediate interposition of God Himself, as in the case of death, +separation, incurable disease, &c. Under any of the above circumstances, +we have the sure promise of God, "As thy days are, so shall thy strength +be." The lost and mourned happiness will not be allowed to deprive us of +the powers of rejoicing in hope, and serving God in peace; also of +diffusing around us the cheerfulness and contentment which is one of the +most important of our Christian duties. These privileges, however, we +must not expect to enjoy, if, by a mistaken unselfishness, (often deeply +stained with pride,) we sacrifice to another the happiness that lay in +our own path, and which may, in reality, be prejudicial to them, as it +was not intended for them by Providence: while, on the contrary, it may +have been by the same Providence intended for us as the necessary drop +of sweetness in the otherwise overpowering bitterness of our earthly +cup. + +We take, as it were, the disposal of our fate out of the hands of God as +much when we refuse the happiness He sends us as when we turn aside from +the path of duty on account of some rough passage we see there before +us. Good and evil both come from the hands of the Lord. We should be +watchful to receive every thing exactly in the way He sees it fit for +us. + +Experience, as well as theory, confirms the truth of the above +assertions. Consider even your own case with relation to any sacrifice +of your own real happiness to the supposed happiness of another. I can +imagine this possible even in a selfish disposition, not yet hardened. +Your good-nature, warm feelings, and pride (in you a powerfully +actuating principle) may have at times induced you to make, in moments +of excitement, sacrifices of which you have not fully "counted the +cost." Let us, then, examine this point in relation to yourself, and to +the petty sacrifices of daily life. If you have allowed others to +encroach too much on your time, if you have given up to them your +innocent pleasures, your improving pursuits, and favourite companions, +has this indulgence of their selfishness really added to their +happiness? Has it not rather been unobserved, except so far to increase +the unreasonableness of their expectations from you, to make them angry +when it at last becomes necessary to resist their advanced +encroachments? On your own side, too, has it not rather tended to +irritate you against people whom you formerly liked, because you are +suffering from the daily and hourly pressure of the sacrifices you have +imprudently made for them? Believe me, there can be no peace or +happiness in domestic life without a _bien entendu_ self-love, which +will be found by intelligent experience to be a preservative from +selfishness, instead of a manifestation of it. + +From all that I have already said, you will, I hope, infer that I am not +likely to recommend any extravagant social sacrifices, or to bring you +in guilty of selfishness for actions not really deserving of the name. +Indeed, I have said so much on the other side, that I may now have some +difficulty in proving that, while defending self-love, I have not been +defending you. We must therefore go back to my former definition of +selfishness--namely, a seeking for ourselves that which is not our real +good, to the neglect of all consideration for that which is the real +good of others. This is viewing the subject _an grand_,--a very general +definition, indeed, but not a vague one, for all the following +illustrations from the minor details of life may clearly be referred +under this head. + +These are the sort of illustrations I always prefer--they come home so +much more readily to the heart and mind. Will not some of the following +come home to you? The indulgence of your indolence by sending a tired +person on a message when you are very well able to go yourself--sending +a servant away from her work which she has to finish within a certain +time--keeping your maid standing to bestow much more than needful +decoration on your dress, hair, &c., at a time when she is weak or +tired--driving one way for your own mere amusement, when it is a real +inconvenience to your companion not to go another--expressing or acting +on a disinclination to accompany your friend or sister when she cannot +go alone--refusing to give up a book that is always within your reach to +another who may have only this opportunity of reading it--walking too +far or too fast, to the serious annoyance of a tired or delicate +companion--refusing, or only consenting with ill-humour, to write a +letter, or to do a piece of work, or to entertain a visitor, or to pay a +visit, when the person whose more immediate business it is, has, from +want of time, and not from idleness or laziness, no power to do what she +requests of you--dwelling on all the details of a painful subject, for +the mere purpose of giving vent to and thus relieving your own feelings, +though it may be by the harrowing up of those of others who are less +able to bear it. All these are indeed trifles--but + + Trifles make the sum of human things,[45] + +and are sure to occur every day, and to form the character into such +habits as will fit or unfit it for great proofs of unselfishness, should +such be ever called for. Besides, it is on trifles such as these that +the smoothness of "the current of domestic joy" depends. It is a +smoothness that is easily disturbed: do not let your hand be the one to +do it. + +In all the trifling instances of selfishness above enumerated, I have +generally supposed that a request has been made to you, and that you +have not the trouble of finding out the exact manner in which you can +conquer selfishness for the advantage of your neighbour. I must now, +however, remind you that one of the penalties incurred by past +indulgence in selfishness is this, that those who love you will not +continue to make those requests which you have been in the habit of +refusing, or, if you ever complied with them, of reminding the obliged +person, from time to time, how much serious inconvenience your +compliance has subjected you to. This, I fear, may have been your habit; +for selfish people exaggerate so much every "little" (by "the good man") +"nameless, unremembered act," that they never consider them gratefully +enough impressed on the heart of the receiver without frequent reminders +from themselves. If such has been the case, you must not expect the +frank, confiding request, the entire trust in your willingness to make +any not unreasonable sacrifice, with which the unselfish are gratified +and rewarded, and for which perhaps you often envy them, though you +would not take the trouble to deserve the same confidence yourself. Even +should you now begin the attempt, and begin it in all earnestness, it +will take some time to establish your new character. _En attendant_, you +must be on the watch for opportunities of obliging others, for they will +not be freely offered to you; you must now exercise your own +observation to find out what they would once have frankly told +you,--whether you are tiring people physically or distressing them +morally, or putting them to practical inconvenience. I do not make the +extravagant supposition that all those with whom you associate have +attained to Christian perfection; the proud and the resentful, as well +as the delicate-minded, will suffer much rather than repeat appeals to +your unselfishness which have often before been disregarded. They may +exercise the Christian duty of forgiveness in other ways, but this is +the most difficult of all. Few can attain to it, and you must not hope +it. + +Finally; I wish to warn you against believing those who tell you that +such minute analysis of motives, such scrutiny into the smallest details +of daily conduct, has a tendency to produce an unhealthy +self-consciousness. This might, indeed, be true, if the original state +of your nature, before the examination began, were a healthy one. "If +Adam had always remained in Paradise, there would have been no anatomy +and no metaphysics:" as it is not so, we require both. Sin has entered +the world, and death by sin; and therefore it is that both soul and body +require a care and a minute watchfulness that cannot, in the present +state of things, originate either disease or sin. They have both existed +before. + +No one ever became or can become selfish by a prayerful examination into +the fact of being so or not. In matters of mere feeling, it is indeed +dangerous to scrutinize too narrowly the degree and the nature of our +emotions. We have no standard by which to try them. If a medical man +cannot be trusted to ascertain correctly the state of his own pulse, +how much more difficult is it for the amateur to sit in judgment on the +strength and number of the pulsations of his own heart and mind. + +The case is quite different when feelings manifest themselves in overt +acts: then they become of a nature requiring and susceptible of minute +analyzation. This is the self-scrutiny I recommend to you. + +May you be led to seek earnestly for help from above to overcome the +hydra of selfishness, and may you be encouraged, by that freely offered +help, to exert your own energies to the utmost! + +Let me urge on your especial attention the following verses from the +Bible on the subjects which we have been considering. If you selected +each one of these for a week's _practice_, making it at once a question, +a warning, and a direction, it would be a tangible, so to speak, use of +the Holy Scriptures, that has been found profitable to many:-- + +"We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and +not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbour for +his good to edification. Even Christ pleased not himself."[46] + +"The Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister."[47] + +"He died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto +themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again."[48] + +"Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things +of others."[49] + +"Let all your things be done with charity."[50] + +"By love serve one another."[51] + +"But as touching brotherly love, ye need not that I write unto you, for +ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another."[52] + +"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in +deed and in truth."[53] + +"Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his +neighbour, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."[54] + +"All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so +to them."[55] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[40] Archdeacon Manning. + +[41] See Bishop Butler's Sermons. + +[42] 1 Cor. vi. 20. + +[43] Acts iv. 28. + +[44] Coleridge's Aids to Reflection. + +[45] Hannah More. + +[46] Rom. xv. 1, 2, 3. + +[47] Matt. xx. 28. + +[48] 2 Cor. v. 15. + +[49] Phil. ii. 4. + +[50] 1 Cor. xvi. 14. + +[51] Gal. v. 13. + +[52] Thess. iv. 9. + +[53] 1 John iii. 18. + +[54] Rom. xiii. 9, 10. + +[55] Matt. vii. 12. + + + + +LETTER VI. + +SELF-CONTROL. + + +You will probably think it strange that I should consider it necessary +to address you, of all others, upon the subject of self-control,--you +who are by nature so placid and gentle, so dignified and refined, that +you have never been known to display any of the outbreaks of temper +which sometimes disgrace the conduct of your companions. + +You compare yourself with others, and probably cannot help admiring your +superiority. You have, besides, so often listened to the assurances of +your friends that your temper is one that cannot be disturbed, that you +may think self-control the very last point to which your attention +needed to be directed. Self-control, however, has relation to many +things besides mere temper. In your case I readily believe that to be of +singular sweetness, though even in your case the temper itself may still +require self-control. You will esteem it perhaps a paradox when I tell +you that the very causes which preserve your temper in an external state +of equability, your refinement of mind, your self-respect, your delicate +reserve, your abhorrence of every thing unfeminine and ungraceful, may +produce exactly the contrary effect on your feelings, and provoke +internally a great deal of contempt and dislike for those whose conduct +transgresses from your exalted ideas of excellence. + +On your own account you would not allow any unkind word to express such +feelings as I have described, but you cannot or do not conceal them in +the expression of your features, in the very tones of your voice. You +further allow them free indulgence in the depths of your heart; in its +secret recesses you make no allowances for the inferiority of people so +differently constituted, educated, and disciplined from +yourself,--people whom, instead of despising and avoiding, you ought +certainly to pity, and, if possible, to sympathize with. + +In this respect, therefore, the control which I recommend to you has +reference even to your much vaunted temper, for though any outward +display of ill-breeding and petulance might be much more opposed to your +respect for yourself, any inward indulgence of the same feelings must be +equally displeasing in the sight of God, and nearly as prejudicial to +the passing on of your spirit towards being "perfect, even as your +Father which is in heaven is perfect."[56] + +Besides, though there may be no outbreak of ill-temper at the time your +annoyance is excited, nor any external manifestation of contempt even in +your expressive countenance, you will certainly be unable to preserve +kindness and respect of manner towards those whose errors and failings +are not met by internal self-control. You will be contemptuously +heedless of the assertions of those whose prevarication you have even +once experienced; those who have once taunted you with obligation will +never be again allowed to confer a favour upon you; you will avoid all +future intercourse with those whose unkind and taunting words have +wounded your refinement and self-respect. All this would contribute to +the formation of a fine character in a romance, for every thing that I +have spoken of implies your own truth and honesty, your generous nature, +your delicate and sensitive habits of mind, your dread of inflicting +pain. For all these admirable qualities I give you full credit, and, as +I said before, they would make an heroic character in a romance. In real +life, however, they, every one of them, require strict self-control to +form either a Christian character, or one that will confer peace and +happiness. You may be all that I have described, and I believe you to be +so, while, at the same time your severe judgments and unreasonable +expectations may be productive of unceasing discomfort to yourself and +all around you. Your friends plainly see that you expect too much from +them, that you are annoyed when their duller perceptions can discover no +grounds for your annoyance, that you decline their offers of service +when they are not made in exactly the refined manner your imagination +requires. Your annoyance may seldom or never express itself in words, +but it is nevertheless perceptible in the restraint of your manner, in +your carelessness of sympathy on any point with those who generally +differ from you, in the very tone of your voice, in the whole character +of your conversation. Gradually the gulf becomes wider and wider that +separates you from those among whom it has pleased God that your lot +should be cast. + +You cannot yet be at all sensible of the dangers I am now pointing out +to you. You cannot yet understand the consequences of your present want +of self-control in this particular point. The light of the future alone +can waken them out of present darkness into distinct and fatal +prominence. + +Habit has not yet formed into an isolating chain that refinement of mind +and loftiness of character which your want of self-control may convert +into misfortunes instead of blessings. Whenever, even now, a sense of +total want of sympathy forces itself upon you, you console yourself with +such thoughts as these: "Sheep herd together, eagles fly alone,"[57]&c. + +Small consolation this, even for the pain your loneliness inflicts on +yourself, still less for the breach of duties it involves. + +There must, besides, be much danger in a habit of mind that leads you to +attribute to your own superiority those very unpleasantnesses which +would have no existence if that superiority were more complete. For, in +truth, if your spiritual nature asserted its due authority over the +animal, you would habitually exercise the power which is freely offered +you, of supreme control over the hidden movements of your heart as well +as over the outward expression of the lips. + +I would strongly urge you to consider every evidence of your +isolation--of your want of sympathy with others--as marks of moral +inferiority; then, from your conscientiousness of mind, you would seek +anxiously to discover the causes of such isolation, and you would +endeavour to remove them. + +Nothing is more difficult than the perpetual self-control necessary for +this purpose. Constant watchfulness is required to subdue every feeling +of superiority in the contemplation of your own character, and constant +watchfulness to look upon the words and actions of others through, as it +were, a rose-coloured medium. The mind of man has been aptly compared to +cut glass, which reflects the very same light in various colours as well +as different shapes, according to the forms of the glass. Display then +the mental superiority of which you are justly conscious, by moulding +your mind into such forms as will represent the words and actions of +others in the most favourable point of view. The same illustration will +serve to suggest the best manner of making allowances for those whose +minds are unmanageable, because uneducated and undisciplined. They +cannot _see_ things in the same point of view that you do; how +unreasonable then is it of you to expect that they should form the same +estimate of them. + +Let us now enter into the more minute details of this subject, and +consider the many opportunities for self-control which may arise in the +course of even this one day. I will begin with moral evil. + +You may hear falsehoods asserted, you may hear your friend traduced, you +may hear unfair and exaggerated statements of the conduct of others, +given to the very people with whom they are most anxious to stand well. +These are trials to which you may be often exposed, even in domestic +life; and their judicious management, the comparative advantages to +one's friends or one's self of silence or defence, will require your +calmest judgment and your soundest discretion; qualities which of course +cannot be brought into action without complete self-control. I can +hardly expect, or, indeed, wish that you should hear the falsehoods of +which I have spoken without some risings of indignation; these, however, +must be subdued for your friend's sake as well as your own. You would +think it right to conquer feelings of anger and revenge if you were +yourself unjustly accused, and though the other excitement may bear the +appearance of more generosity, you must on reflection admit that it is +equally your duty to subdue such feelings when they are aroused by the +injuries inflicted on a friend. The happy safeguard, the _instinctive_ +test, by which the well-regulated and comparatively innocent mind may +safely try the right or the wrong of every indignant feeling is this: so +far as the feeling is painful, so far is it tainted with sin. To "be +angry and sin not,"[58] there must be no pain in the anger: pain and sin +cannot be separated: there may indeed be sorrow, but this is to be +carefully distinguished from pain. The above is a test which, after +close examination and experience, you will find to be a safe and true +one. Whenever they are thus safe and true, our instinctive feelings +ought to be gratefully made use of; thus even our animal nature may be +made to come to the assistance of our spiritual nature, against which it +is too often arrayed in successful opposition. + +I have spoken of the exceeding difficulty of exercising self-control +under such trying circumstances as those above described, and this +difficulty will, I candidly confess, be likely to increase in proportion +to your own honesty and generosity. Be comforted, however, by this +consideration, that, conflict being the only means of forming the +character into excellence, and your natural amiability averting from you +many of the usual opportunities for exercising self-control, you would +be in want of the former essential ingredient in spiritual discipline +did not your very virtues procure it for you. + +While, however, I allow you full credit for these virtues, I must insist +on a careful distinction between a mere virtue and a Christian grace. +Every virtue becomes a vice the moment it overpasses its prescribed +boundaries, the moment it is given free power to follow the bent of +animal nature, instead of being, even though a virtue, kept under the +strict control of religious principle. + +I must now suggest to you some means by which I have known self-control +to be successfully exhibited and perpetuated, with especial reference to +that annoyance which we have last considered. Instead, then, of dwelling +on the deviations from truth of which I have spoken, even when they are +to the injury of a friend, try to banish the subject from your mind and +memory; or, if you are able to think of it in the very way you please, +try to consider how much the original formation of the speaker's mind, +careless habits, and want of any disciplining education, may each and +all contribute to lessen the guilt of the person who has annoyed you. No +one knows better than yourself that tho original nature of the mind, as +well as its implanted habits, modifies every fact presented to its +notice. Still further, the point of view from which the fact or the +character has been seen may have been entirely different from yours. +These other persons may absolutely have _seen_ the thing spoken of in a +position so completely unlike your mental vision of it, that they are as +incapable of understanding your view as you may be of understanding +theirs. If sincere in your wish for improvement, you had better prove +the truth of the above assertion by the following process. Take into +your consideration any given action, not of a decidedly honourable +nature--one which, perhaps, to most people would appear of an +indifferent nature,--but to your lofty and refined notions deserving of +some degree of reprehension. You have a sufficiently metaphysical head +to be able to abstract yourself entirely from your own view of the case, +and then you can contemplate it with a total freedom from prejudice. +Such a contemplation can only be attempted when no feeling is +concerned,--feeling giving life to every peculiarity of moral sentiment, +as the heat draws out those characters which would otherwise have passed +unknown and unnoticed. I would then have you examine carefully into all +the considerations which might qualify and alter, even your own view of +the case. Dwell long and carefully upon this part of the process. It is +astonishing (incredible indeed until it is tried) how much our opinions +of the very same action may alter if we determinately confine ourselves +to the favourable aspect in which it may be viewed, keeping the contrary +side entirely out of sight. + +As soon as this has been carried to the utmost, you must further (that +my experiment may be fairly tried) endeavour to throw yourself, in +imagination, not only into the position, but also into the natural and +acquired mental and moral perceptions of the person whose action you are +taking into your consideration. For this purpose you must often +imagine--natural dimness of perception, absence of acute sensibility, +indifference to wounding the feelings of others from mere carelessness +and want of reflective powers, little natural conscientiousness, an +entire absence of the taste or the power of metaphysical examination +into the effect produced by our actions. All these natural deficiencies, +you must further consider, may in this case be increased by a totally +neglected education,--first, by the want of parental discipline, and +afterwards of that more important self-education which few people have +sufficient strength of character to subject themselves to. Lastly, I +would have you consider especially the moral atmosphere in which they +have habitually breathed: according to the nature of this the mental +health varies as certainly as the physical strength varies in a bracing +or relaxing air. A strong bodily constitution may resist longer, and +finally be less affected by a deleterious atmosphere than a weak or +diseased frame; and so it is with the mental constitution. Minds +insensibly imbibe the tone of the atmosphere in which they most +frequently dwell; and though natural loftiness of character and natural +conscientiousness may for a very long period resist such influences, it +cannot be expected that inferior natures will be able to do so. + +You are then to consider whether the habits of mind and conversation +among those who are the constant associates of the persons you blame +have been such as to cherish or to deaden keen and refined perceptions +of moral excellence and nobility of mind; still further, whether their +own literary tastes have created around them an even more penetrating +atmosphere; whether from the elevated inspirations of appreciated +poetry, from the truthful page of history, or from the stirring +excitements of romantic fiction, their heart and their imagination have +received those lofty lessons for which you judge them responsible, +without knowing whether they have ever received them. + +There is still another consideration. While the actions of those who are +not habitually under the control of high principle depend chiefly on the +physical constitution, as they are too often a mere yielding to the +immediate impulse of the senses, their judgment of men and things, on +the contrary, when uninfluenced by _personal_ feeling, depend probably +more on that keen perception of the beautiful which is the natural +instinct of a superior organization. Morality and religion will indeed +supply the place of these lofty _natural_ instincts, by giving habits of +mind which may in time become so burnt in, as it were, that they assume +the form of natural instincts, while they are at once much safer guides +and much stronger checks. + +It is surprising that a mere sense of the beautiful will often confer +the clearest perceptions of the real nature of moral excellence. You may +hear the devoted worldling, or the selfish sensualist, giving the +highest and most inspiring lessons of self-renunciation, self-sacrifice, +and devotedness to God. Their lessons, truthful and impressive, because +dictated by a keen and exquisite perception of the beautiful, which ever +harmonizes with the precepts and doctrines of Christianity, have +kindled in many a heart that living flame, which in their own has been +smothered by the fatal homage of the lips and of the feelings only, +while the actions of the life were disobedient. Often has such a writer +or speaker stood in stern and truthfully severe judgment on the weak +"brother in Christ" when he has acted or spoken with an inconsistency +which the mere instinct of the beautiful would in his censor have +prevented. Such censors, however, ought to remember that these weak +brethren, though their instincts be less lofty, their sensibility less +acute, live closer to their principles than they themselves do to their +feelings; for the moment the natural impulse, in cases where that is the +only guide, is enlisted on the side of passion, the perception of the +beautiful is entirely sacrificed to the gratification of the senses. +When the animal nature comes into collision with the spiritual, the +highest dictates of the latter will be unheeded, unless the supremacy of +the spiritual nature be habitually maintained in practice as well as in +theory. In short, that keen perception of the true and the beautiful, +which is an essential ingredient in the formation of a noble character, +becomes, in the case of the self-indulgent worldling, only an increase +of his responsibility, and a deepening dye to his guilt. At present, +however, I suppose you to be sitting in judgment on those who are +entirely destitute of the aids and the responsibilities of a keen sense +of the beautiful: by nature or by education they know or have learned +nothing of it. How different, then, from your own must be their estimate +of virtue and duty! Add this, therefore, to all the other allowances +you have to make for them, and I will answer for it that any action +viewed through this qualifying medium will entirely change its aspect, +and your blame will most frequently turn to pity, though of course you +can feel neither sympathy nor respect. + +On the other hand, the practice of dwelling only on the aggravating +circumstances of a case, will magnify into crime a trifling and +otherwise easily forgotten error. This is a fact in the mind's history +of which few people seem to be aware, and only few may be capable of +understanding. Its truth, however, may be easily proved by watching the +effect of words in irritating one person against another, and +increasing, by repeated insinuations, the apparent malignity of some +really trifling action. No one, probably, has led so blessed a life as +not to have been sometimes pained by observing one person trying to +exasperate another, who is, perhaps, rather peacefully inclined, by +pointing out all the aggravating circumstances of some probably +imaginary offence, until the listener is wrought up to a state of angry +excitement, and induced to look on that as an exaggerated offence which +would probably otherwise have passed without notice. What is in this +case the effect of another's sin is a state often produced in their own +mind by those who would be incapable of the more tangible, and therefore +more evidently sinful act of exciting the anger of one friend or +relative against another. + +The sin of which I speak is peculiarly likely to be that of a +thoughtful, reflective, and fastidious person like yourself. It is +therefore to you of the utmost importance to acquire, and to acquire at +once, complete control over your thoughts,--first, carefully +ascertaining which those are that you ought to avoid, and then guarding +as carefully against such as if they were the open semblance of positive +sin. This is really the only means by which a truthful and candid nature +like your own can ever maintain the deportment of Christian love and +charity towards those among whom your lot is cast. You must resolutely +shut your eyes against all that is unlovely in their character. If you +suffer your thoughts to dwell for a moment on such subjects, you will +find additional difficulty afterwards in forcing them away from that +which is their natural tendency, besides having probably created a +feeling against which it will be vain to struggle. It is one of the +strongest reasons for the necessity of watchful self-control, that no +mind, however powerful, can exercise a direct authority over the +feelings of the heart; they are susceptible of indirect influence alone. +This much increases the necessity of our watchfulness as to the indirect +tendencies of thoughts and words, and our accountability with respect to +them. Our anxiety and vigilance ought to be altogether greater than if +we could exercise over our feelings that direct and instantaneous +control which a strong mind can always assert in the case of words and +actions. + +Unless the indirect influence of which I have spoken were practicable, +the warnings and commands of Scripture would be a mockery of our +weakness,--a cruel satire on the helplessness of a victim whose efforts +to fulfil duty must, however strenuous, prove unavailing. The child is +commanded to honour his parent, the wife to reverence her husband; and +you are to observe attentively that there is no exception made for the +cases of those whose parents or husbands are undeserving of love and +reverence. There must, then, be a power granted, to such as ask and +_strive_ to acquire it, of closing the mental eyes resolutely against +those features in the character of the persons to whom we are bound by +the ties of duty, which would unfit us, if much dwelt upon, for +obedience in such important particulars as the love and reverence we are +commanded to feel towards them. + +Even where there is such high principle and such uncommon strength of +character as to induce perseverance in the mere external forms of +obedience, how vain are all such while the heart has turned aside from +the appointed path of duty, and broken those commands of God which, we +should always remember, have reference to feeling as well as to +action:--"Honour thy father and thy mother;"[59] "Let the wife see that +she reverence her husband."[60] + +In the habitual exercise of that self-control which I now urge upon you, +you will experience an ample fulfilment of that promise,--"The work of +righteousness shall be peace."[61] Instead of becoming daily further and +further severed from those who are indeed your inferiors, but towards +whom God has imposed duties upon you, you will daily find that, in +proportion to the difficulty of the task, will be the sweetness and the +peace rewarding its fulfilment. No affection resulting from the most +perfect sympathy of mind and heart will ever confer so deep a pleasure, +or so holy a peace, as the blind, unquestioning, "unsifting"[62] +tenderness which a strong principle of duty has cherished into +existence. + +Glorious in every way will be the final result to those who are capable +(alas! few are so) of such a course of conduct. Far different in its +effects from the blind tenderness of infatuated passion is the noble +blindness of Christian self-control. While the one warms into existence, +or at least into open manifestation, all the selfishness and wilfulness +of the fondled plaything, the other creates a thousand virtues that were +not known before. Flowers spring up from the hardest rocks, the coldest, +sternest natures are gradually softened into gentleness, the faults of +temper or of character that never meet with worrying opposition, or +exercise unforgiving influence, gradually die away, and fade from the +memory of both. The very atmosphere alone of such rare and lovely +self-control seems to have a moral influence resembling the effects of +climate upon the rude and rugged marble,--every roughness is by degrees +smoothed away, and even the colouring becomes subdued into calm harmony +with all the features of its allotted position. + +To the rarity of the virtue upon which I have so long dwelt, we may +trace the cause of almost all the domestic unhappiness we witness +whenever the veil is withdrawn from the secrets of _home_. Alas! how +often is this blessed word only the symbol of freely-indulged +ill-tempers, unresisted selfishness, or, perhaps the most dangerous of +all, exacting and unforgiving requirements. While the one party select +their home as the only scene where they may safely and freely vent their +caprices and ill-humours, the other require a stricter compliance with +their wishes, a more exact conformity with their pursuits and opinions, +than they meet with even from the temporary companions of their lighter +hours. They forget that these companions have only to exert themselves +for a short time for their gratification, and that they can then retire +to their own home, probably to be as disagreeable there as the relations +of whom the others complain. For then the mask is off, and they are at +liberty,--yes, at liberty,--freed from the inspection and the judgments +of the world, and only exposed to those of God! + +My friend, I am sure you have often shared in the pain and grief I feel, +that in so few cases should home be the blessed, peaceful spot that +poetry pictures to us. There is no real poetry that is not truth in its +purest form--truth as it appears to eyes from which the mists of sense +are cleared away. Surely our earthly homes ought to realize the +representations of poetry; they would then become each day a nearer, +though ever a faint type of, that eternal home for which our earthly +one ought daily to prepare us. + +Poetry and religion always teach the same duties, instil the same +feelings. Never believe that any thing can be truly noble or great, that +any thing can be really poetical, which is not also religious. The poet +is now partly a priest, as he was in the old heathen world; and though, +alas! he may, like Balaam, utter inspirations which his heart follows +not, which his life denies, yet, like Balaam also, his words are full of +lessons for us, though they may only make his own guilt the deeper. + +I have been led to these concluding considerations respecting poetry by +my anxiety that you should turn your refined tastes and your acute +perceptions of the beautiful to a universally moral purpose. There is no +teaching more impressive than that which comes to us through our +passions. In the moment of excited feeling stronger impressions may be +made than by any of the warnings of duty and principle. If these latter, +however, be not motives co-existent, and also in strength and exercise, +the impressions of feeling are temporary, and even dangerous. It is only +to the faithful followers of duty that the excitements of romance and +poetry are useful and improving. To such they have often given strength +and energy to tread more cheerfully and hopefully over many a rugged +path, to live more closely to their beau-idéal, a vivid vision of which +has, by poetry, been awakened and refreshed in their hearts. + +To others, on the contrary, the danger exceeds the profit. By the +excitement of admiration they may be deceived into the belief that +there must be in their own bosoms an answering spirit to the greatness, +the self-sacrifice, the pure and lofty affections they see represented +in the mirror of poetry. They are deceived, because they forget that we +have each within us two natures struggling for the mastery. As long as +we practically allow the habitual supremacy of the lower over the +higher, there can be no real excellence in the character, however a mere +sense of the beautiful may temporarily exalt the feelings, and thus +increase our responsibility, and consequent condemnation. + +I am sure you have experimentally understood the subject on which I have +been writing. I am sure you have often risen from the teaching of the +poet with enthusiasm in your heart, ready to trample upon all those +temptations and difficulties which had, perhaps an hour before, made the +path of self-denial and self-control apparently impracticable. + +Receive such intervals of excitement as heaven-sent aids, to help you +more easily over, it may be, a wearying and dreary path. They are most +probably sent in answer to prayer--in answer to the prayers of your own +heart, or to those of some pious friend. + +Our Father in heaven works constantly by earthly means, and moulds the +weakest, the often apparently useless instrument to the furtherance of +his purposes of mercy, one of which you know is your own sanctification. +It is not his holy word only that gives you appointed messages and helps +exactly suited to your need. The flower growing by the way-side, the +picture or the poem, the works of God's own hand, or the works of the +genius which he has breathed into his creature Man, may all alike bear +you messages of love, of warning, of assistance. + +Listen attentively, and you will hear--clearer still and clearer--every +day and hour. It is not by chance you take up that book, or gaze upon +that picture; you have found, because you are on the watch for it, in +the first, a suggestion that exactly suits your present need, in the +latter an excitement and an inspiration which makes some difficult +action you may be immediately called on to perform comparatively easy +and comparatively welcome. + +There is a deep and universal meaning in the vulgar[63] proverb, "Strike +while the iron is hot." If it be left to cool without your purpose being +effected, the iron becomes harder than ever, the chains of nature and of +habit are more firmly riveted. + +There are some other features of self-control to which I wish, though +more cursorily, to direct your attention. They have all some remote +bearing on your moral nature, and may exercise much influence over your +prospects in life. + +Like many other persons of a refined and sensitive organization, you +suffer from the very uncommon disease of shyness. At the very time, +perhaps, when you desire most to please, to interest, to amuse, your +over-anxiety defeats its own object. The self-possession of the +indifferent generally carries off the palm from the earnest and the +anxious. This is ridiculous; this is degrading. What you wish to do you +ought to be able to do, and you will be able, if you habitually +exercise control over the physical feelings of your nature. + +I am quite of the opinion of those who hold that shyness is a bodily as +well as a mental disease, much influenced by our state of health, as +well as by the constitutional state of the circulation; but I only put +forward this opinion respecting its origin as additional evidence that +it too may be brought under the authority of self-control. If the grace +of God, giving efficacy and help to our own exertions, can enable us to +resist the influence of indigestion and other kinds of ill-health upon +the temper and the spirits, will not the same means be found effectual +to subdue a shyness which almost sinks us to the level of the brute +creation by depriving us of the advantages of a rational will? Even this +latter distinguishing feature of humanity is prostrated before the +mysterious power of shyness. + +You understand, doubtless, the wide distinction that exists between +modesty and shyness. Modesty is always self-possessed, and therefore +clear-sighted and cool-headed. Shyness, on the contrary, is too confused +either to see or hear things as they really are, and as often assumes +the appearance of forwardness as any other disguise. Depriving its +victims of the power of being themselves, it leaves them little freedom +of choice, as to the sort of imitations the freaks of their animal +nature may lead them to attempt. You feel, with deep annoyance, that a +paroxysm of shyness has often made you speak entirely at random, and +express the very opposite sentiments to those you really feel, +committing yourself irretrievably to, perhaps, falsehood and folly, +because you could not exercise self-control. Try to bring vividly before +your mental eye all that you have suffered in the recollection of past +weaknesses of this kind, and that will give you energy and strength to +struggle habitually, incessantly, against every symptom of so painful a +disease. It is, at first, only the smaller ones that can be successfully +combated; after the strength acquired by perseverance in lesser efforts, +you may hope to overcome your powerful enemy in his very stronghold. + +Even in the quietest family life many opportunities will be offered you +of combat and of victory. False shame, the fear of being laughed at now, +or taunted afterwards, will often keep you silent when you ought to +speak; and you ought to speak very often for no other than the +sufficient reason of accustoming yourself to disregard the hampering +feeling of "What will people say?" "What do I expose myself to by making +this observation?" Follow the impulses of your own noble and generous +nature, speak the words it dictates, and then you may and ought to +trample under foot the insinuations of shyness, as to the judgments +which others may pass upon you. + +You may observe that those censors who make a coward of you can always +find something to say in blame of every action, some taunt with which to +reflect upon every word. Do not, then, suffer yourself to be hampered by +the dread of depreciating remarks being made upon your conversation or +your conduct. Such fears are one of the most general causes of shyness. +You must not suffer your mind to dwell upon them, except to consider +that taunting and depreciating remarks may and will be made on every +course of conduct you may pursue, on every word you or others may speak. + +I have myself been cured of any shackling anxiety as to "What will +people say?" by a long experience of the fact, that the remarks of the +gossip are totally irrespective of the conduct or the conversation they +gossip over. That which is blamed one moment, is highly extolled the +next, when the necessity of depreciating contrast requires the change; +and as for the _inconsequence_ of the remarks so rapidly following each +other, the gossip is "thankful she has not an argumentative head." She +is, therefore, privileged one moment to contradict the inevitable +consequences of the assertions made the moment before. + +You cannot avoid such criticisms; brave them nobly. The more you +disregard them, the more true will you be to yourself, the more free +will you be from that shyness which, though partly the result of keen +and acute perceptions and refined sensibilities, has besides a large +share of over-anxious vanity and deeply-rooted pride. + +Do not believe those who tell you that shyness will decrease of itself, +as you advance in age, and mix more in the world. There is, indeed, a +species of shyness which may thus be removed; but it is not that which +arises from a morbid refinement. This latter species, unguarded by +habitual self-control, will, on the contrary, rather increase than +decrease, as further experience shows you the numerous modes of failure, +the thousand tender points in which you may be assailed by the world +without. + +Be assured that your only hope of safety is in an early and persevering +struggle, accompanied by faith in final victory,--without that who can +have strength for conflict? Do not treat your boasted intellect so +depreciatingly as to doubt its power of giving you successful aid in +your triumph over difficulties. What has been done may be done +again,--why not by you? + +Nothing is more interesting (and also imposing) than to see a strong +mind evidently struggling against, and obtaining a victory over, the +shyness of its animal nature. The appreciative observer pays it, at the +same time, the involuntary homage which always attends success, and the +still deeper respect due to those who having been thus "Cæsar unto +themselves,"[64] are also sure, in time, to conquer all external things. + +In conclusion, I must remind you that your life has, as yet, flowed on +in a smooth and untroubled course, so that you cannot from experience be +at all aware of the much greater future necessity there may be for those +habits of self-control which I am now urging upon you. But though no +overwhelming shocks, no stunning surprises, have, as yet, disturbed the +"even tenor of your way," it cannot be always thus. Alas! the time must +come when sorrows will pour in upon you like a flood, when you will be +called upon for rapid decisions, for far-sighted and comprehensive +arrangements, for various exercises of the coolest, calmest judgment, at +the very moment that present anguish and anxiety for the future are +raising whirlwinds of clouds around your mental vision. If you are not +now acquiring the power of self-control in minor affairs by managing +them judiciously under circumstances of trifling excitement or +disturbance, how will you be able to act your part with skill and +courage, when the hours of real trial overtake you? A character like +yours, as it possesses the power, so likewise is it responsible for the +duty of moving on steadily through moral clouds and storms, seeing +clearly, resisting firmly, and uninfluenced by any motives but those +suggested by your higher nature. + +The passing shadow, or the gleam of sunshine, the half-expressed sneer, +or the tempests of angry passion, the words of love and flattery, or the +cruel insinuations of envy and jealousy, may pale your cheek, or call +into it a deeper flush; may kindle your eye with indignation, or melt +its rays in sorrow; but they must not, for all that, turn you aside one +step from the path which your calm and deliberate judgment had before +marked out for you: your insensibility to such annoyances as those I +have described would show an unfeminine hardness of character; your +being influenced by them would strengthen into habit any natural +unfitness for the high duties you may probably be called on to fulfil. +When in future years you may be appealed to, by those who depend on you +alone, for guidance, for counsel, for support in warding off, or bearing +bravely, dangers, difficulties, and sorrows, you will have cause for +bitter repentance if you are unable to answer such appeals; nor can you +answer them successfully unless, in the present hours of comparative +calm, you are, in daily trifles, habituating yourself to the exercise of +self-control. Every day thus wasted now will in future cause you years +of unavailing regret. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[56] Matt. v. 48. + +[57] Sir Philip Sidney. + +[58] Eph. iv. 26. + +[59] Ex. xx. 12. + +[60] Eph. v. 33. + +[61] Isa. xxxii. 17. + +[62] + + _Maria_. How can we love?-- + + _Giovanna_ (interrupting). Mainly, by hearing none + Decry the object, then by cherishing + The good we see in it, and overlooking + What is less pleasant in the paths of life. + All have some virtue if we leave it them + In peace and quiet, all may lose some part + By sifting too minutely good and bad. + The tenderer and the timider of creatures + Often desert the brood that has been handled, + Or turned about, or indiscreetly looked at. + The slightest touches, touching constantly, + Irritate and inflame. + +LANDOR'S _Giovanna and Andrea_. + +[63] Miss Edgeworth says that proverbs are vulgar because they are +common sense. + +[64] Emerson. + + + + +LETTER VII. + +ECONOMY. + + +Perhaps there is no lesson that needs to be more watchfully and +continually impressed on the young and generous heart than the difficult +one of economy. There is no virtue that in such natures requires more +vigilant self-control and self-denial, besides the exercise of a free +judgment, uninfluenced by the excitement of feeling. + +To you this virtue will be doubly difficult, because you have so long +watched its unpleasant manifestations in a distorted form. You are +exposed to danger from that which has perverted many notions of right +and wrong; you have so long heard things called by false names that you +are inclined to turn away in disgust from a noble reality. You have been +accustomed to hear the name of economy given to penuriousness and +meanness, so that now, the wounded feelings and the refined tastes of +your nature having been excited to disgust by this system of falsehood, +you will find it difficult to realize in economy a virtue that joins to +all the noble instincts of generosity the additional features of +strong-minded self-control. + +It will therefore be necessary, before I endeavour to impress upon your +mind the duty and advantages of economy, that I should previously help +you to a clear understanding of the real meaning of the word itself. + +The difficulty of forming a true and distinct conception of the virtue +thus denominated is much increased by its being equally misrepresented +by two entirely opposite parties. The avaricious, those to whom the +expenditure of a shilling costs a real pang of regret, claim for their +mean vice the honour of a virtue that can have no existence, unless the +same pain and the same self-control were exercised in withholding, as +with them would be exercised in giving. On the other hand, the +extravagant, sometimes wilfully, sometimes unconsciously, fall into the +same error of applying to the noble self-denial of economy the degrading +misnomers of avarice, penuriousness, &c. + +It is indeed possible that the avaricious may become economical,--after +first becoming generous, which is an absolutely necessary preliminary. +That which is impossible with man is possible with God, and who may dare +to limit his free grace? This, however, is one of the wonders I have +never yet witnessed. It seems indeed that the love of money is so +literally the "root of all evil,"[65] that there is no room in the heart +where it dwells for any other growth, for any thing lovely or excellent. +The taint is universal, and while much that is amiable and interesting +may originally exist in characters containing the seeds of every other +vice, (however in time overshadowed and poisoned by such neighbourhood,) +it would seem that "the love of money" always reigns in sovereign +desolation, admitting no warm or generous feeling into the heart which +it governs. Such, however, you will at once deny to be the case of +those from whose penuriousness your early years have suffered; you know +that their character is not thus bare of virtues. But do not for this +contradict my assertion; theirs was not always innate love of money for +its own sake, though at length they may have unfortunately learned to +love it thus, which is the true test of avarice. It has, on the +contrary, been owing to the faults of others, to their having long +experienced the deprivations attendant on a want of money, that they +have acquired the habit of thinking the consciousness of its possession +quite as enjoyable as the powers and the pleasures its expenditure +bestows. They know too well the pain of want of money, but have never +learned that the real pleasure of its possession consists in its +employment.[66] It is only from habit, only from perverted experience, +that they are avaricious, therefore I at once exonerate them from the +charges I have brought against those whose very nature it is to love +money for its own sake. At the same time the strong expressions I have +made use of respecting these latter, may, I hope, serve to obviate the +suspicion that I have any indulgence for so despicable a vice, and may +induce you to expect an unprejudiced statement of the merits and the +duty of economy. + +It is carefully to be remembered that the excess of every natural virtue +becomes a vice, and that these apparently opposing qualities are only +divided from each other by almost insensible boundaries. The habitual +exercise of strong self-control can alone preserve even our virtues from +degenerating into sin, and a clear-sightedness as to the very first +step of declension must be sought for by self-denial on our own part, +and by earnest prayer for the assisting graces of the Holy Spirit, to +search the depths of our heart, and open our eyes to see. + +Thus it is that the free and generous impulses of a warm and benevolent +nature, though in themselves among the loveliest manifestations of the +merely natural character, will and necessarily must degenerate into +extravagance and self-indulgence, unless they are kept vigilantly and +constantly under the control of prudence and justice. And this, if you +consider the subject impartially, is fully as much the case when these +generous impulses are not exercised alone in procuring indulgences for +one's friends or one's self, but even when they excite you to the relief +of real suffering and pitiable distress. + +This last is, indeed, one of the severest trials of the duty of economy; +but that it is a part of that duty to resist even such temptations, will +be easily ascertained if you consider the subject coolly,--that is, if +you consider it when your feelings are not excited by the sight of a +distressed object, whose situation may be readily altered by some of +that money which you think, and think justly, is only useful, only +enjoyable, in the moment of expenditure. + +The trial is, I confess, a difficult one: it is best the decision with +respect to it should be made when your feelings are excited on the +opposite side, when some useful act of charity to the poor has +incapacitated you from meeting the demands of justice. + +I am sure your memory, ay, and your present experience too, can furnish +you with some cases of this kind. It may be that the act of generosity +was a judicious and a useful one, that the suffering would have been +great if you had not performed it; but, on the other hand, it has +disabled you from paying some bills that you knew at the very time were +lawfully due as the reward of honest labour, which had trusted to your +honour that this reward should be punctually paid. You have a keen sense +of justice as well as a warm glow of generosity; one will serve to +temper the other. Let the memory of every past occasion of this kind be +deeply impressed, not only on your mind but on your heart, by frequent +reflection on the painful thoughts that then forced themselves upon +you,--the distress of those upon whose daily labour the daily +maintenance of their family depends, the collateral distress of the +artisans employed by them, whom they cannot pay because you cannot pay, +the degradation to your own character, from the experience of your +creditors that you have expended that which was in fact not your own, +the diminished, perhaps for ever injured, confidence which they and all +who become acquainted with the circumstances will place in you, and, +finally, the probability that you have deprived some honest, +industrious, self-denying tradesman of his hardly-earned dues, to bestow +the misnamed generosity upon some object of distress, who, however real +the distress may be now, has probably deserved it by a deficiency in all +those good qualities which maintain in respectability your defrauded +creditor. The very character, too, of your creditor may suffer by your +inability to pay him, for he, miscalculating on your honesty and +truthfulness, may, on his side, have engaged to make payments which +become impossible for him, when you fail in your duty, in which case you +can scarcely calculate how far the injury to him may extend; becoming a +more permanent and serious evil than his incapacity to answer those +daily calls upon him of which I have before spoken. In short, if you +will try to bring vividly before you all the painful feelings that +passed through your mind, and all the contingencies that were +contemplated by you on any one of these occasions, you will scarcely +differ from me when I assert my belief that the name of dishonesty would +be a far more correct word than that of generosity to apply to such +actions as the above: you are, in fact, giving away the money of another +person, depriving him of his property, his time, or his goods, under +false pretences, and, in addition to this, appropriating to yourself the +pleasure of giving, which surely ought to belong by right to those to +whom the gift belongs. + +I have here considered one of the most trying cases, one in which the +withholding of your liberality becomes a really difficult duty, so +difficult that the opportunity should be avoided as much as possible; +and it is for this very purpose that the science of economy should be +diligently studied and practised, that so "you may have to give to him +that needeth," without taking away that which is due to others. Probably +in most of the cases to which I have referred your memory, some previous +acts of self-denial would have saved you from being tempted to the sin +of giving away the property of another. I would not willingly suppose +that an act of self-denial at the very time you witnessed the case of +distress might have provided you with the means of satisfying both +generosity and honesty, for, as I said before, I know you to have a keen +sense of justice; and though you have never yet been vigilant enough in +the practice of economy, I cannot believe that, with an alternative +before you, you would indulge in any personal expenditure, even bearing +the appearance of almost necessity, that would involve a failure in the +payment of your debts. I speak, then, only of acts of previous +self-denial, and I wish you to be persuaded, that unless these are +practised habitually and incessantly you can never be truly generous. A +readiness to give that which costs you nothing, that which is so truly a +superfluity that it involves no sacrifice, is a mere animal instinct, as +selfish perhaps, though more refinedly so than any other species of +self-indulgence. Generosity is a nobler quality, and one that can have +no real existence without economy and self-denial. + +I have spoken several times of the study of economy, and of the science +of economy; and I used these words advisedly. However natural and +comparatively easy it may be to some persons to form an accurate +judgment of the general average of their ordinary expenses, and of all +the contingencies that are perpetually arising, I do not believe that +you possess this power by nature: you only need, however, to force your +intellectual faculties into this direction to find that here, as +elsewhere, they may be made available for every imaginable purpose. You +have sometimes probably envied those among your acquaintance, much less +highly gifted perhaps than yourself, who have so little difficulty in +practising economy, that without any effort at all, they have always +money in hand for any unexpected exigency, as well as to fulfil all +regular demands upon their purse. It is an observation made by every +one, that among the same number of girls, some will be found to dress +better, give away more, and be better provided for sudden emergencies, +than their companions. Nor are these ordinarily the more clever girls of +one's acquaintance: I have known some who were decidedly below par as to +intellect who yet possessed in a high degree the practical knowledge of +economy. Instead of vainly lamenting your natural inferiority on such an +important point, you should seek diligently to remove it. + +An acquired knowledge of the art of economy is far better than any +natural skill therein; for the acquisition will involve the exercise of +many intellectual faculties, such as generalization, foresight, +calculation, at the same time that the moral faculties are strengthened +by the constant exercise of self-control. For, granted that the +naturally economical are neither shabbily penurious nor deficient in the +duty of almsgiving, it is still evident that it cannot be the same +effort to them to deny themselves a tempting act of liberality, or the +gratification of elegant and commendable tastes, as it must be to those +who are destitute of equally instinctive feelings as to the inadequacy +of their funds to meet demands of this nature. It is invariably true +that economy must be difficult, and therefore admirable in proportion to +the warm-heartedness and the refined tastes of those who practise it. +The highly-gifted and the generous meet with a thousand temptations to +expenditure beyond their means, of the number and strength of which the +less amiable and refined can form no adequate conception. If, however, +those above spoken of are exposed to stronger temptations than others, +they also carry within themselves the means, if properly employed, of +more powerful and skillful defence. There is, as I said before, no right +purpose, however contrary to the natural constitution of the mind, for +which intellectual powers may not be made available; and if strong +feelings render self-denial more difficult, especially in points of +charity or generosity, they, on the other hand, serve to impress more +deeply and vividly on the mind the painful self-reproach consequent to +any act of imprudence and extravagance. + +The first effort made by your intellectual powers towards acquiring a +practical knowledge of the science of economy should be the important +one of generalizing all your expenses, and then performing the same +process upon the funds that there is a fair probability of your having +at your disposal. The former is difficult, as the expenditure of even a +single person, independent of any establishment, involves so many +unforeseen contingencies, that, unless by combining the past and the +future you generalize a probable average, and then bring this average +_within_ your income, you can never experience any of the peace of mind +and readiness to meet the calls of charity which economy alone bestows. + +No one of strict justice can combine tranquillity with the indulgence of +generosity unless she lives _within_ her income. Whether the expenditure +be on a large or a small scale, it signifies little; she alone is truly +rich who has brought her wants sufficiently within the bounds of her +income to have always something to spare for unexpected contingencies. +In laying down rules for your expenditure, you will, of course, impose +upon yourself a regular dedication of a certain part of your income to +charitable purposes. This ought to be considered as entirely set apart, +as no longer your own: your opportunities must determine the exact +proportion; but the tenth, at least, of the substance which God has +given you must be considered as appropriated to his service; nor can you +hope for a blessing upon the remainder, if you withhold that which has +been distinctly claimed from you. Besides the regular allowance for the +wants of the poor, I can readily suppose that it will be a satisfaction +to you to deny yourself, from time to time, some innocent gratification, +when a greater gratification is within your reach, by laying out your +money "to make the widow's heart to sing for joy; to bring upon yourself +the blessing of him that was ready to perish."[67] Here, however, will +much watchfulness be required; you must be sure that it is only some +self-indulgence you sacrifice, and nothing of that which the claims of +justice demand. For when, after systematic, as well as present, +self-denial, you still find that you cannot afford to relieve the +distress which it pains your heart to witness, be careful to resist the +temptation of giving away that which is lawfully due to others. For the +purpose of saving suffering in one direction you may cause it in +another; and besides, you set yourself as plainly in opposition to that +which is the will of God concerning you as if your imprudent +expenditure were caused by some temptation less refined and unselfish +than the relief of real distress. The gratification that another woman +would find in a splendid dress, you derive from more exalted sources; +but if you or she purchase your gratification by an act of injustice, by +spending money that does not belong to you, you, as well as she, are +making an idol of self, in choosing to have that which the providence of +God has denied you. "The silver and the gold is mine, saith the Lord;" +and it cannot be without a special purpose, relating to the peculiar +discipline requisite for such characters, that this silver and gold is +so often withheld from those who would make the best and kindest use of +it. Murmur not, then, when this hard trial comes upon you, when you see +want and sorrow which you cannot in justice to others relieve; and when +you see thousands, at the very moment you experience this generous +suffering, expended on entirely selfish, perhaps sinful gratifications, +neither be tempted to murmur or to act unjustly. "Is it not the Lord;" +has not he in his infinite love and infinite wisdom appointed this very +trial for you? Bow your head and heart in submission, and dare not to +seek an escape from it by one step out of the path of duty. It may be +that close examination, a searching of the stores of memory, will bring +even this trial under the almost invariable head of needful +chastisement; it may be that it is the consequence of some former act of +self-indulgence and extravagance, which would have been forgotten, or +not deeply enough repented of, unless your sin had in this way been +brought to remembrance. Thus even this trial assumes the invariable +character of all God's chastisements: it is the inevitable consequence +of sin,--as inevitable as the relation of cause and effect. It results +from no special interposition of Providence, but is the natural result +of those decrees upon which the whole system of the world is founded; +secondarily, however, overruled to work together for good to the +penitent sinner, by impressing more deeply on his mind the humbling +remembrance of past sin, and leading to a more watchful future avoidance +of the same. + +It is indeed probable, that without many trials of this peculiarly +painful kind, the duty of economy could not be deeply enough impressed +on a naturally generous and warm heart. The restraints of prudence would +be unheeded, unless bitter experience, as it were, burned them in. + +I have spoken of two necessary preparations for the practice of +economy,--the first, a clear general view of our probable expenses; the +second, which I am now about to notice, is the calculation of the +probable funds that are to meet these expenses. In your case, there is a +certain income, with sundry contingencies, very much varying, and +altogether uncertain. Such probabilities, then, as the latter, ought to +be appropriated to such expenses as are occasional and not inevitable: +you must never calculate on them for any of your necessary expenditure, +except in the same average manner as you have calculated that +expenditure; and you must estimate the average considerably within +probabilities, or you will be often thrown into discomfort. It is much +better that all indulgences of mere taste, of entirely personal +gratification, should be dependent on this uncertain fund; and here +again I would warn you to keep in view the more pressing wants that may +arise in the future. The gratification in which you are now indulging +yourself may be a perfectly innocent one; but are you quite sure that +you are not expending more money than _you_ can prudently, or, to speak +better, conscientiously afford, on that which offers only a temporary +gratification, and involves no improvement or permanent benefit? You +certainly are not sufficiently rich to indulge in any merely temporary +gratification, except in extreme moderation. With relation to that part +of your income which is varying and uncertain, I have observed that it +is a very common temptation assailing the generous and thoughtless, +(about money matters, often those who are least thoughtless about other +things,) that there is always some future prospect of an increase of +income, which is to free them from present embarrassments, and enable +them to pay for the enjoyment of all those wishes that they are now +gratifying. It is a future, however, that never arrives; for every +increase of property brings new claims or new wants along with it; and +it is found, too late, that, by exceeding present income, we have +destroyed both the present and the future, we have created wants which +the future income will find a difficulty in supplying, having in +addition its own new ones to provide for. + +It may indeed in a few, a very few, cases be necessary, in others +expedient, to forestall that money which we have every certainty of +presently possessing; but unless the expenditure relates to particulars +coming under the term of "daily bread," it appears to me decided +dishonesty to lay out an uncertain future income. Even if it should +become ours, have we not acted in direct contradiction to the revealed +will of God concerning us? The station of life in which God has placed +us depends very much on the expenditure within our power; and if we +double that, do we not in fact choose wilfully for ourselves a different +position from that which he has appointed, and withdraw from under the +guiding hand of his providence? Let us not hope that even temporal +success will be allowed to result from such acts of disobedience. + +What a high value does it stamp on the virtue of economy, when we thus +consider it as one of the means towards enabling us to submit ourselves +to the will of God! + +I cannot close a letter to a woman on the subject of economy without +referring to the subject of dress. Though your strongest temptations to +extravagance may be those of a generous, warm heart, I have no doubt +that you are also, though in an inferior degree, tempted by the desire +to improve your personal appearance by the powerful aid of dress. It +ought not to be otherwise; you should not be indifferent to a very +important means of pleasing. Your natural beauty would be unavailing +unless you devoted both time and care to its preservation and adornment. +You should be solicitous to win the affection of those around you; and +there are many who will be seriously influenced by any neglect of due +attention to your personal appearance. Besides the insensible effect +produced on the most ignorant and unreasonable spectator, those whom you +will most wish to please will look upon it, and with justice, as an +index to your mind; and a simple, graceful, and well-ordered exterior +will always give the impression that similar qualities exist within. +Dressing well is some a natural and easy accomplishment; to others, who +may have the very same qualities existing in their minds without the +power (which is in a degree mechanical) of displaying the same outward +manifestation of them, it will be much more difficult to attain the same +object with the same expense. Your study, therefore, of the art of dress +must be a double one,--must first enable you to bring the smallest +details of your apparel into as close conformity as possible to the +forms and tastes of your mind, and, secondly, enable you to reconcile +this exercise of taste with the duties of economy. If fashion is to be +consulted as well as taste, I fear that you will find this impossible; +if a gown or a bonnet is to be replaced by a new one, the moment a +slight alteration takes place in the fashion of the shape or the colour, +you will often be obliged to sacrifice taste as well as duty. Rather +make up your mind to appear no richer than you are; if you cannot afford +to vary your dress according to the rapidly--varying fashions, have the +moral courage to confess this in action. Nor will your appearance lose +much by the sacrifice. If your dress is in accordance with true taste, +the more valuable of your acquaintance will be able to appreciate that, +while they would be unconscious of any strict and expensive conformity +to the fashions of the month. Of course, I do not speak now of any +glaring discrepancy between your dress and the general costume of the +time. There could be no display of a simple taste while any singularity +in your dress attracted notice; neither could there be much additional +expense in a moderate attention to the prevailing forms and colours of +the time,--for bonnets and gowns do not, alas, last for ever. What I +mean to deprecate is the laying aside any one of these, which is +suitable in every other respect, lest it should reveal the secret of +your having expended nothing upon dress during this season. Remember how +many indulgences to your generous nature would be procured by the price +of, a fashionable gown or bonnet, and your feelings will provide a +strong support to your duty. Another way in which you may successfully +practise economy is by taking care of your clothes, having them repaired +in proper time, and neither exposing them to sun or rain unnecessarily. +A ten-guinea gown may be sacrificed in half an hour, and the indolence +of your disposition would lead you to prefer this sacrifice to the +trouble of taking any preservatory precautions, or thinking about the +matter at all. Is this right? Even if you can procure money to satisfy +the demands of mere carelessness, are you acting as a faithful steward +by thus expending it? I willingly grant to you that some women are so +wealthy, placed in situations requiring so much representation, that it +would be degrading to them to take much thought about any thing but the +beauty and fashion of their clothes; and that an anxiety on their part +about the preservation of, to them, trifles would indicate meanness and +parsimoniousness. Their office is to encourage trade by a lavish +expenditure, conformable to the rank in life in which God has placed +them. Happy are they if this wealth do not become a temptation too hard +to be overcome! Happier those from whom such temptations, denounced in +the word of God more strongly than any other, are entirely averted! + +This is your position; and as much as it is the duty of the very wealthy +to expend proportionally upon their dress, so is it yours to be +scrupulously economical, and to bring down your aspiring thoughts from +the regions of poetry and romance to the homely duties of mending and +caretaking. There will be poetry and romance too in the generous and +useful employment you may make of the money thus economised. Besides, if +you do not yet see that they exist in the smallest and homeliest of +every-day cares, it is only because your mind has not been sufficiently +developed by experience to find poetry and romance in every act of +self-control and self-denial. + +There is, I believe, a general idea that genius and intellectual +pursuits are inconsistent with the minute observations and cares that I +have been recommending; and by nature perhaps they are so. The memoirs +of great men are filled with anecdotes of their incompetency for +commonplace duties, their want of observation, their indifference to +details: you may observe, however, that such men were great in learning +alone; they never exhibited that union of action and thought which is +essential to constitute a heroic character. + +We read that a Charlemagne and a Wallenstein could stoop, in the midst +of their vast designs and splendid successes, to the cares of selling +the eggs of their poultry-yard,[68] and of writing minute directions +for its more skilful management.[69] A proper attention to the repair +of the strings of your gowns or the ribbons of your shoes could scarcely +be farther, in comparison, beneath your notice. + +The story of Sir Isaac Newton's cat and kitten has often made you smile; +but it is no smile of admiration: such absence of mind is simply +ridiculous. If, indeed, you should refer to its cause you may by +reflection ascertain that the concentration of thought secured by such +abstraction, in his particular case, may have been of use to mankind in +general; but you must at the same time feel that he, even a Sir Isaac +Newton, would have been a greater man had his genius been more +universal, had it extended from the realms of thought into those of +action. + +With women the same case is much stronger; their minds are seldom, if +ever, employed on subjects the importance and difficulty of which might +make amends for such concentration of thought as would necessarily, +except in first-rate minds, produce abstraction and inattention to +homely every-day duties. + +Even in the case of a genius, one of most rare occurrence, an attention +to details, and thoughtfulness respecting them, though certainly more +difficult, is proportionally more admirable than in ordinary women. + +It was said of the wonderful Elizabeth Smith, that she equally excelled +in every department of life, from the translation of the most difficult +passages of the Hebrew Bible down to the making of a pudding. You should +establish it as a practical truth in your mind, that, with a strong +will, the intellectual powers may be turned into every imaginable +direction, and lead to excellence in one as surely as in another. + +Even where the strong will is wanting, and there may not be the same +mechanical facility that belongs to more vigorous organizations, every +really useful and necessary duty is still within the reach of all +intellectual women. Among these, you can scarcely doubt that the science +of economy, and that important part of it which consists in taking care +of your clothes, is within the power of every woman who does not look +upon it as beneath her notice. This I suppose you do not, as I know you +to take a rational and conscientious view of the minor duties of life, +and that you are anxious to fulfil those of exactly "that state of life +unto which it has pleased God to call you."[70] + +I must not close this letter without adverting to an error into which +those of your sanguine temperament would be the most likely to fall. + +You will, perhaps--for it is a common progress--run from one extreme to +another, and from having expended too large a proportion of your income +on personal decoration, you may next withdraw even necessary attention +from it. "All must be given to the poor," will be the decision of your +own impulses and of over-strained views of duty. + +This, however, is, in an opposite direction, quitting the station of +life in which God has placed you, as much as those do who indulge in an +expenditure of double their income. Your dressing according to your +station in life is as much in accordance with the will of God +concerning you, as your living in a drawing-room instead of a kitchen, +in a spacious mansion instead of a peasant's cottage. Besides, as you +are situated, there is another consideration with respect to your dress +which must not be passed over in silence. The allowance you receive is +expressly for the purpose of enabling you to dress properly, suitably, +and respectably; and if you do not in the first place fulfil the purpose +of the donor, you are surely guilty of a species of dishonesty. You have +no right to indulge personal feeling, or gratify a mistaken sense of +duty, by an expenditure of money for a different purpose from that for +which it was given to you; nor even, were your money exclusively your +own, would you have a right to disregard the opinions of your friends by +dressing in a different manner from them, or from what they consider +suitable for you. If you thus err, they will neither allow you to +exercise any influence over them, nor will they be at all prejudiced in +favour of the, it may be, stricter religious principles which you +profess, when they find them lead to unnecessary singularity, and to +disregard of the feelings and wishes of those around you. It is +therefore your duty to dress like a lady, and not like a peasant +girl,--not only because the former is the station in life God himself +has chosen for you, but also because you have no right to lay out other +people's money on your own devices; and, lastly, because it is your +positive duty, in this as in all other points, to consult and consider +the reasonable wishes and opinions of those with whom God has connected +you by the ties of blood or friendship. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[65] 1 Tim. vi. 10. + +[66] The saying of the "Great Captain," Gonsalvo di Cordova. + +[67] Job xxix. 13. + +[68] Montesquieu. Esprit des Lois. + +[69] Colonel Mitchell's Life of Wallenstein. + +[70] The Church Catechism. + + + + +LETTER VIII. + +THE CULTIVATION OF THE MIND. + + +In writing to you upon the subject of mental cultivation, it would seem +scarcely necessary to dwell for a moment on its advantages; it would +seem as if, in this case at least, I might come at once to the point, +and state to you that which appears to me the best manner of attaining +the object in view. Experience, however, has shown me, that even into +such minds as yours, doubts will often obtain admittance, sometimes from +without, sometimes self-generated, as to the advantages of intellectual +education for women. The time will come, even if you have never yet +momentarily experienced it, when, saddened by the isolation of +superiority, and witnessing the greater love or the greater prosperity +acquired by those who have limited or neglected intellects, you may be +painfully susceptible to the slighting remarks on clever women, learned +ladies, &c., which will often meet your ear,--remarks which you will +sometimes hear from uneducated women, who may seem to be in the +enjoyment of much more peace and happiness than yourself, sometimes from +well-educated and sensible men, whose opinions you justly value. I fear, +in short, that even you may at times be tempted to regret having +directed your attention and devoted your early days to studies which +have only attracted envy or suspicion; that even you may some day or +other attribute to the pursuits which are now your favourite ones those +disappointments and unpleasantnesses which doubtless await your path, as +they do that of every traveller along life's weary way. This +inconsistency may indeed be temporary; in a character such as yours it +must be temporary, for you will feel, on reflection, that nothing which +others have gained, even were your loss of the same occasioned by your +devotion to your favourite pursuits, could make amends to you for their +sacrifice. A mind that is really susceptible of culture must either +select a suitable employment for the energies it possesses, or they will +find some dangerous occupation for themselves, and eat away the very +life they were intended to cherish and strengthen. I should wish you to +be spared, however, the humiliation of even temporary regrets, which, at +the very least, must occasion temporary loss of precious hours, and a +decrease of that diligent labour for improvement which can only be kept +in an active state of energy by a deep and steady conviction of its +nobleness and utility; further still, (which would be worse than the +temporary consequences to yourself,) at such times of despondency you +might be led to make admissions to the disadvantage of mental +cultivation, and to depreciate those very habits of study and +self-improvement which it ought to be one of the great objects of your +life to recommend to all. You might thus discourage some young beginner +in the path of self-cultivation, who, had it not been for you, might +have cheered a lonely way by the indulgence of healthy, natural tastes, +besides exercising extensive beneficial influence over others. Your +incautious words, doubly dangerous because they seem to be the result +of experience, may be the cause of such a one's remaining in useless and +wearisome, because uninterested idleness. That you may guard the more +successfully against incurring such responsibilities, you should without +delay begin a long and serious consideration, founded on thought and +observation, both as to the relative advantages of ignorance and +knowledge. When your mind has been fully made up on the point, after the +careful examination I recommend to you, you must lay your opinion aside +on the shelf, as it were, and suffer it no longer to be considered as a +matter of doubt, or a subject for discussion. You can then, when +temporarily assailed by weak-minded fears, appeal to the former +dispassionate and unprejudiced decision of your unbiassed mind. To one +like you, there is no safer appeal than that from a present excited, and +consequently prejudiced self, to another dispassionate, and consequently +wiser self. Let us then consider in detail what foundation there may be +for the remarks that are made to the depreciation of a cultivated +intellect, and illustrate their truth or falsehood by the examples of +those upon whose habits of life we have an opportunity of exercising our +observation. + +First, then, I would have you consider the position and the character of +those among your unmarried friends who are unintellectual and +uncultivated, and contrast them with those who have by education +strengthened natural powers and developed natural capabilities: among +these, it is easy for you to observe whose society is the most useful +and the most valued, whose opinion is the most respected, whose example +is the most frequently held up to imitation,--I mean by those alone +whose esteem is worth possessing. The giddy, the thoughtless, and the +uneducated may indeed manifest a decided preference for the society of +those whose pursuits and conversation are on a level with their own +capacity; but you surely cannot regret that they should even manifestly +(which however is not often ventured upon) shrink from your society. +"Like to like" is a proverb older than the time of Dante, whose answer +it was to Can della Scala, when reproached by him that the society of +the most frivolous persons was more sought after at court than that of +the poet and philosopher. "Given the amuser, the amusee must also be +given."[71] You surely ought not to regret the _cordon sanitaire_ which +protects you from the utter weariness, the loss of time, I might almost +add of temper, which uncongenial society would entail upon you. In the +affairs of life, you must generally make up your mind as to the good +that deserves your preference, and resolutely sacrifice the inferior +advantage which cannot be enjoyed with the greater one. You must +consequently give up all hope of general popularity, if you desire that +your society should be sought and valued, your opinion respected, your +example followed, by those whom you really love and admire, by the wise +and good, by those whose society you can yourself in your turn enjoy. +You must not expect that at the same time you should be the favourite +and chosen companion of the worthless, the frivolous, the uneducated; +you ought not, indeed, to desire it. Crush in its very birth that mean +ambition for popularity which might lead you on to sacrifice time and +tastes, alas! sometimes even principles, to gain the favour and applause +of those whose society ought to be a weariness to you. Nothing, besides, +is more injurious to the mind than a studied sympathy with mediocrity: +nay, without any "study," any conscious effort to bring yourself down to +their level, your mind must insensibly become weakened and tainted by a +surrounding atmosphere of ignorance and stupidity, so that you would +gradually become unfitted for that superior society which you are formed +to love and appreciate. It is quite a different case when the +dispensations of Providence and the exercise of social duties bring you +into contact with uncongenial minds. Whatever is a duty will be made +safe to you: it can only be from your own voluntary selection that any +unsuitable association becomes injurious and dangerous. Notwithstanding, +however, that it may be laid down as a general rule that the wise will +prefer the society of the wise, the educated that of the educated, it +sometimes happens that highly intellectual and cultivated persons +select, absolutely by their own choice, the frivolous and the ignorant +for their constant companions, though at the same time they may refer to +others for counsel, and direction, and sympathy. Is this choice, +however, made on account of the frivolity and ignorance of the persons +so selected? I am sure it is not. I am sure, if you inquire into every +case of this kind, you will see for yourself that it is not. Such +persons are thus preferred, sometimes on account of the fairness of +their features, sometimes on account of the sweetness of their temper, +sometimes for the lightheartedness which creates an atmosphere of +joyousness around them, and insures their never officiously obtruding +the cares and anxieties of this life upon their companions. Do not, +then, attribute to want of intellect those attractions which only need +to be combined with intellect to become altogether irresistible, but +which, however, I must confess, it may have an insensible influence in +destroying. For instance, the sweetness, of the temper is seldom +increased by increased refinement of mind; on the contrary, the latter +serves to quicken susceptibility and render perception more acute; and +therefore, unless it is guarded by an accompanying increase of +self-control, it will naturally produce an alteration for the worse in +the temper. This is one point. For the next, personal beauty may be +injured by want of exercise, neglect of health, or of due attention to +becoming apparel, which errors are often the results of an injudicious +absorption in intellectual pursuits. Lastly, a thoughtful nature and +habit of mind must of course induce a quicker perception, and a more +frequent contemplation of the sorrows and dangers of this mortal life, +than the volatile and thoughtless nature and habit of mind have any +temptation to; and thus persons of the former class are often induced, +sometimes usefully, sometimes unnecessarily, but perhaps always +disagreeably, to intrude the melancholy subjects of their own +meditations upon the persons with whom they associate, often making +their society evidently unpleasant, and, if possible, carefully avoided. +It is, however, unjust to attribute any of the inconveniences just +enumerated to those intellectual pursuits which, if properly pursued, +would prove effectual in improving, nay, even in bestowing, +intelligence, prudence, tact, and self-control, and thus preserving from +those very inconveniences to which I have referred above. Be it your +care to win praise and approbation for the habits of life you have +adopted, by showing that such are the effects they produce in you. By +your conduct you may prove that, if your perceptions have been quickened +and your sensibilities rendered more acute, you have at the same time, +and by the same means, acquired sufficient self-control to prevent +others from suffering ill-effects from that which would in such a case +be only a fancied improvement in yourself. Further, let it be your care +to bestow more attention than before on that external form which you are +now learning to estimate as the living, breathing type of that which is +within. Finally, while your increased thoughtfulness and the developed +powers of your reason will give you an insight in dangers and evils +which others never dream of, be careful to employ your knowledge only +for the improvement or preservation of the happiness of your friends. +Guard within your own breast, however you may long for the relief of +giving a free vent to your feelings, any sorrows or any apprehensions +that cannot be removed or obviated by their revelation. Thus will you +unite in yourself the combined advantages of the frivolous and +intellectual; your society will be loved and sought after as much as +that of the first can be, (only, however, by the wise and good--my +assertion extends no further,) and you will at the same time be +respected, consulted, and imitated, as the clever and educated can alone +be. + +I have hitherto spoken only of the unmarried among your acquaintance: +let us now turn to the wives and mothers, and observe, with pity, the +position of her, who, though she may be well and fondly loved, is felt +at the same time to be incapable of bestowing sympathy or counsel. It is +indeed, perhaps, the wife and mother who is the best loved who will at +the same time be made the most deeply to feel her powerlessness to +appreciate, to advise, or to guide: the very anxiety to hide from her +that it is the society, the opinion, and the sympathy of others which is +really valued, because it alone can be appreciative, will make her only +the more sensibly aware that she is deficient in the leading qualities +that inspire respect and produce usefulness. + +She must constantly feel her unfitness to take any part in the society +that suits the taste of her more intellectual husband and children. She +must observe that they are obliged to bring down their conversation to +her level, that they are obliged to avoid, out of deference to, and +affection for her, all those varied topics which make social intercourse +a useful as well as an agreeable exercise of the mental powers, an often +more improving arena of friendly discussion than perhaps any professed +debating society could be. No such employment of social intercourse can, +however, be attempted when one of the heads of the household is +uneducated and unintellectual. The weather must form the leading, and +the only safe topic of conversation; for the gossip of the +neighbourhood, commented on in the freedom and security of family life, +imparts to all its members a petty censoriousness of spirit that can +never afterwards be entirely thrown off. Then the education of the +children of such a mother as I have described must be carried on under +the most serious disadvantages. Money in abundance may be at her +disposal, but that is of little avail when she has no power of forming a +judgment as to the abilities of the persons so lavishly paid for forming +the minds of the children committed to their charge: the precious hours +of their youth will thus be very much wasted; and when self-education, +in some few cases, comes in time to repair these early neglects, there +must be reproachful memories of that ignorance which placed so many +needless difficulties in the path to knowledge and advancement. + +It is not, however, those alone who are bound by the ties of wife and +mother, whose intellectual cultivation may exercise a powerful influence +in their social relations: each woman in proportion to her mental and +moral qualifications possesses a useful influence over all those within +her reach. Moral excellence alone effects much: the amiable, the loving, +and the unselfish almost insensibly dissuade from evil, and persuade to +good, those who have the good fortune to be within the reach of such +soothing influences. Their persuasions are, however, far more powerful +when vivacity, sweetness, and affection are given weight to by strong +natural powers of mind, united with high cultivation. Of all the +"talents" committed to our stewardship, none will require to be so +strictly accounted for as those of intellect. The influence that we +might have acquired over our fellow-men, thus winning them over to think +of and practise "all things lovely and of good report," if it be +neglected, is surely a sin of deeper dye than the misemployment of mere +money. The disregard of those intellectual helps which we might have +bestowed on others, and thus have extensively benefited the cause of +religion, one of whose most useful handmaids is mental cultivation, will +surely be among the most serious of the sins of omission that will swell +our account at the last day. The intellectual Dives will not be punished +only for the misuse of his riches, as in the case of a Byron or a +Shelley; the neglect of their improvement, by employing them for the +good of others, will equally disqualify him for hearing the final +commendation of "Well done, good and faithful servant."[72] This, +however, is not a point on which I need dwell at any length while +writing to you: you are aware, fully, I believe, of the responsibilities +entailed upon you by the natural powers you possess. It is from worldly +motives of dissuasion, and not from any ignorance with regard to that +which you know to be your duty, that you may be at times induced to +slacken your exertions in the task of self-improvement. You will not be +easily persuaded that it is not your duty to educate yourself; the doubt +that will be more easily instilled into your mind will be respecting the +possible injury to your happiness or worldly advancement by the increase +of your knowledge and the improvement of your mind. Look, then, again +around you, and see whether the want of employment confers happiness, +carefully distinguishing, however, between that happiness which results +from natural constitution and that which results from acquired habits. +It is true that many of the careless, thoughtless girls you are +acquainted with enjoy more happiness, such as they are capable of, in +mornings and evenings spent at their worsted-work, than the most +diligent cultivation of the intellect can ever insure to you. But the +question is, not whether the butterfly can contentedly dispense with the +higher instincts of the industrious, laborious, and useful bee, but +whether the superior creature could content itself with the insipid and +objectless pursuits of the lower one. The mind requires more to fill it +in proportion to the largeness of its grasp: hope not, therefore, that +you could find either their peace or their satisfaction in the +purse-netting, embroidering lives of your thoughtless companions. Even +to them, be sure, hours of deep weariness must come: no human being, +whatever her degree on the scale of mind, is capable of being entirely +satisfied with a life without object and without improvement. Remember, +however, that it is not at all by the comparative contentedness of their +mere animal existence that you can test the qualifications of a habit of +life to constitute your own happiness; that must stand on a far +different basis. + +In the case of a very early marriage, there may be indeed no opportunity +for the weariness of which I have above spoken. The uneducated and +uncultivated girl who is removed from the school-room to undertake the +management of a household may not fall an early victim to _ennui_; that +fate is reserved for her later days. Household details (which are either +degrading or elevating according as they are attended to as the +favourite occupations of life, or, on the other hand, skilfully managed +as one of its inevitable and important duties) often fill the mind even +more effectually to the exclusion of better things than worsted-work or +purse-netting would have done. The young wife, if ignorant and +uneducated, soon sinks from the companion of her husband, the guide and +example of her children, into the mere nurse and housekeeper. A clever +upper-servant would, in nine cases out of ten, fulfil all the offices +which engross her time and interest a thousand times better than she can +herself. For her, however, even for the nurse and housekeeper, the time +of _ennui_ must come; for her it is only deferred. The children grow up, +and are scattered to a distance; requiring no further mechanical cares, +and neither employing time nor exciting the same kind of interest as +formerly. The mere household details, however carefully husbanded and +watchfully self-appropriated, will not afford amusement throughout the +whole day; and, utterly unprovided with subjects for thought or objects +of occupation, life drags on a wearisome and burdensome chain. We have +all seen specimens of this, the most hopeless and pitiable kind of +_ennui_, when the time of acquiring habits of employment, and interest +in intellectual pursuits is entirely gone, and resources can neither be +found in the present, or hoped for in the future. Hard is the fate of +those who are bound to such victims by the ties of blood and duty. They +must suffer, secondhand, all the annoyances which _ennui_ inflicts on +its wretched victims. No natural sweetness of temper can long resist the +depressing influence of dragging on from day to day an uninterested, +unemployed existence; and besides, those who can find no occupation for +themselves will often involuntarily try to lessen their own discomfort +by disturbing the occupations of others. This species of _ennui_, of +which the sufferings begin in middle-life and often last to extreme old +age, (as they have no tendency to shorten existence,) is far more +pitiable than that from which the girl or the young woman suffers before +her matron-life begins. Then hope is always present to cheer her on to +endurance; and there is, besides, at that time, a consciousness of power +and energy to change the habits of life into such as would enable her to +brave all future fears of _ennui_. It is of great importance, however, +that these habits should be acquired immediately; for though they may be +equally possible of acquisition in the later years of youth, there are +in the mean time other dangerous resources which may tempt the +unoccupied and uninterested girl into their excitements. Those whose +minds are of too active and vivacious a nature to live on without an +object, may too easily find one in the dangerous and selfish amusements +of coquetry--in the seeking for admiration, and its enjoyment when +obtained. The very woman who might have been the most happy herself in +the enjoyment of intellectual pursuits, and the most extensively useful +to others, is often the one who, from misdirected energies and feeling, +will pursue most eagerly, be most entirely engrossed by, the delights of +being admired and loved by those to whom in return she is entirely +indifferent. Having once acquired the habit of enjoying the selfish +excitement, the simple, safe, and ennobling employments of +self-cultivation, of improving others, are laid aside for ever, because +the power of enjoying them is lost. Do not be offended if I say that +this is the fate I fear for you. At the present moment, the two paths of +life are open before you; youth, excitement, the example of your +companions, the easiness and the pleasure of the worldling's career, +make it full of attractions for you. Besides, your conscience does not +perhaps speak with sufficient plainness as to its being the career of +the worldling; you can find admirers enough, and give up to them all the +young, fresh interests of your active mind, all the precious time of +your early youth, without ever frequenting the ball-room, or the +theatre, or the race-course,--nay, even while professedly avoiding them +on principle: we know, alas! that the habits of the selfish and +heartless coquette are by no means incompatible with an outward +profession of religion. + +It is to save you from any such dangers that I earnestly press upon you +the deliberate choice and immediate adoption of a course of life in +which the systematic, conscientious improvement of your mind should +serve as an efficacious preservation from all dangerously exciting +occupations. You should prepare yourself for this deliberate choice by +taking a clear and distinct view of your object and your motives. Can +you say with sincerity that they are such as the following,--that of +acquiring influence over your fellow-creatures, to be employed for the +advancement of their eternal interests--that of glorifying God, and of +obtaining the fulfilment of that promise, "They that turn many to +righteousness shall shine as the stars for ever and ever."[73] If this +be the case, your choice must be a right and a noble one; and you will +never have reason to repent of it, either in this world or the next. +Among the collateral results of this conscientious choice will be a +certain enjoyment of life, more independent of either health or external +circumstances than any other can be, and the lofty self-respect arising +from a consciousness of never having descended to unworthy methods of +amusement and excitement. + +To attain, however, to the pleasures of intellectual pursuits, and to +acquire from them the advantages of influence and respect, is quite a +distinct thing from the promiscuous and ill-regulated habits of reading +pursued by most women. Women who read at all, generally read more than +men; but, from the absence of any intellectual system, they neither +acquire well-digested information, nor, what is of far more importance, +are the powers of their mind strengthened by exercise. I have known +women read for six hours a day, and, after all, totally incapable of +enlightening the inquirer upon any point of history or literature; far +less would they be competent to exercise any process of reasoning, with +relation either to the business of life or the occurrences of its social +intercourse. How many difficulties and annoyances in the course of +every-day life might be avoided altogether if women were early exercised +in the practice of bringing their reasoning powers to bear upon the +small duties and the petty trials that await every hour of our +existence! Their studies are altogether useless, unless they are pursued +with the view of acquiring a sounder judgment, and quicker and more +accurate perceptions of the every-day details of business and duty. That +knowledge is worse than useless which does not lead to wisdom. To +women, more especially, as their lives can never be so entirely +speculative as those of a few learned men may justifiably be, the great +object in study is the manner in which they can best bring to bear each +acquisition of knowledge upon the improvement of their own character or +that of others. The manner in which they may most effectually promote +the welfare of their fellow-creatures, and how, as the most effectual +means to that end, they can best contribute to their daily and hourly +happiness and improvement,--these, and such as these, ought to be the +primary objects of all intellectual culture. Mere reading would never +accomplish this; mere reading is no more an intellectual employment than +worsted-work or purse-netting. It is true that none of these latter +employments are without their uses; they may all occupy the mind in some +degree, and soothe it, if it were only by creating a partial distraction +from the perpetual contemplation of petty irritating causes of disquiet. +But while we acknowledge that they are all good in their way for people +who can attain nothing better, we must be careful not to fall into the +mistake of confounding the best of them, viz. _mere_ reading, with +intellectual pursuits: if we do so, the latter will be involved in the +depreciation that often falls upon the former when it is found neither +to improve the mind or the character, nor to provide satisfactory +sources of enjoyment. + +There is a great deal of truth in the well-known assertion of Hobbes, +however paradoxical it may at first appear: "If I had read as much as +others, I should be as ignorant." One cannot but feel its applicability +in the case of some of our acquaintance, who have been for years mere +readers at the rate of five or six hours a day. One of these same hours +daily well applied would have made them more agreeable companions and +more useful members of society than a whole life of their ordinary +reading. + +There must be a certain object of attainment, or there will be no +advance: unless we have decided what the point is that we desire to +reach, we never can know whether the wind blows favourably for us or +not. + +In my next letter, I mean to enter fully into many details as to the +best methods of study; but during the remainder of this, I shall confine +myself to a general view of the nature of that foundation which must +first be laid, before any really valuable or durable superstructure can +be erected. + +The first point, then, to which I wish your attention to be directed is +the improvement of the mind itself,--point of far more importance than +the furniture you put into it. This improvement can only be effected by +exercising deep thought with respect to all your reading, assimilating +the ideas and the facts provided by others until they are blended into +oneness with the forms of your own mind. + +During your hours of study, it is of the utmost importance that no page +should ever be perused without carefully subjecting its contents to the +thinking process of which I have spoken: unless your intellect is +actively employed while you are professedly studying, your time is worse +than wasted, for you are acquiring habits of idleness, that will be most +difficult to lay aside. + +You should always be engaged in some work that affords considerable +exercise to the mind--some book over the sentences of which you are +obliged to pause, to ponder--some kind of study that will cause the +feeling of almost physical fatigue; when, however, this latter sensation +comes on, you must rest; the brain is of too delicate a texture to bear +the slightest over-exertion with impunity.[74] Premature decay of its +powers, and accompanying bodily weakness and suffering, will inflict +upon you a severe penalty for any neglect of the symptoms of mental +exhaustion.[75] Your mind, however, like your body, ought to be +exercised to the very verge of fatigue; you cannot otherwise be certain +that there has been exercise sufficient to give increased strength and +energy to the mental or physical powers. + +The more vigorous such exercise is, the shorter will be the time you can +support it. Perhaps even an hour of close thinking would be too much for +most women; the object, however, ought not to be so much the quantity as +the quality of the exercise. If your peculiarly delicate and sensitive +organization cannot support more than a quarter of an hour's continuous +and concentrated thought, you must content yourself with that. +Experience will soon prove to you that even the few minutes thus +employed will give you a great superiority over the six-hours-a-day +readers of your acquaintance, and will serve as a solid and sufficient +foundation for all the lighter superstructure which you will afterwards +lay upon it. This latter, in its due place, I should consider as of +nearly as much importance as the foundation itself; for, keeping +steadily in view that usefulness is to be the primary object of all your +studies, you must devote much more time and attention to the +embellishing, because refining branches of literature, than would be +necessary for those whose office is not so peculiarly that of soothing +and pleasing as woman's is. Even these lighter studies, however, must be +subjected to the same reflective process as the severer ones, or they +will never become an incorporate part of the mind itself: they will, on +the contrary, if this process is neglected, stand out, as the knowledge +of all uneducated people does, in abrupt and unharmonizing prominence. + +It is not to be so much your object to acquire the power of quoting +poetry or prose, or to be acquainted with the names of the authors of +celebrated fictions and their details, as to be imbued with the spirit +of heroism, generosity, self-sacrifice,--in short, the practical love of +the beautiful which every universally-admired fiction, whether it have a +professedly moral tendency or not, is calculated to excite. The refined +taste, the accurate perceptions, the knowledge of the human heart, and +the insight into character, which intellectual culture can highly +improve, even if it cannot create, are to be the principal results as +well as the greatest pleasures to which you are to look forward. In +study, as in every other important pursuit, the immediate +results--those that are most tangible and encouraging to the faint and +easily disheartened--are exactly those which are least deserving of +anxiety. A couple of hours' reading of poetry in the morning might +qualify you to act the part of oracle that very evening to a whole +circle of inquirers; it might enable you to tell the names, and dates, +and authors of a score of remarkable poems: and this, besides, is a +species of knowledge which every one can appreciate. It is not, however, +comparable in kind to the refinement of mind, the elevation of thought, +the deepened sense of the beautiful, which a really intellectual study +of the same works would impart or increase. I do not wish to depreciate +the good offices of the memory; it is very valuable as a handmaid to the +higher powers of the intellect. I have, however, generally observed that +where much attention has been devoted to the recollection of names, +facts, dates, &c., the higher species of intellectual cultivation have +been neglected: attention to them, on the other hand, would never +involve any neglect of the advantages of memory; for a cultivated +intellect can suggest to itself a thousand associative links by which it +can be assisted and rendered much more extensively useful than a mere +verbal memory could ever be. The more of these links (called by +Coleridge hooks-and-eyes) you can invent for yourself, the more will +your memory become an intellectual faculty. By such means, also, you can +retain possession of all the information with which your reading may +furnish you, without paying such exclusive attention to those tangible +and immediate results of study as would deprive you of the more solid +and permanent ones. These latter consist, as I said before, in the +improvement of the mind itself, and not in its furniture. A modern +author has remarked, that the improvement of the mind is like the +increase of money from compound interest in a bank, as every fresh +increase, however trifling, serves as a new link with which to connect +still further acquisitions. This remark is strikingly illustrative of +the value of an intellectual kind of memory. Every new idea will serve +as a "hook-and-eye," with which you can fasten together the past and the +future; every new fact intellectually remembered will serve as an +illustration of some formerly-established principle, and, instead of +burdening you with the separate difficulty of remembering itself, will +assist you in remembering other things. + +It is a universal law, that action is in inverse proportion to power; +and therefore the deeply-thinking mind will find a much greater +difficulty in drawing out its capabilities on short notice, and +arranging them in the most effective position, than a mind of mere +cleverness, of merely acquired, and not assimilated knowledge. This +difficulty, however, need not be permanent, though at first it is +inevitable. A woman's mind, too, is less liable to it; as, however +thoughtful her nature may be, this thoughtfulness is seldom strengthened +by habit. She is seldom called upon to concentrate the powers of her +mind on any intellectual pursuits that require intense and +long-continuous thought. The few moments of intense thought which I +recommend to you will never add to your thoughtfulness of nature any +habits that will require serious difficulty to overcome. It is also, +unless a man be in public life, of more importance to a woman than to +him to possess action, viz. great readiness in the use and disposal of +whatever intellectual powers she may possess. Besides this, you must +remember that a want of quickness and facility in recollection, of ease +and distinctness in expression, is quite as likely to arise from +desultory and wandering habits of thought as from the slowness referable +to deep reflection. Most people find difficulty in forcing their +thoughts to concentrate themselves on any given subject, or in +afterwards compelling them to take a comprehensive glance of every +feature of that subject. Both these processes require much the same +habits of mind: the latter, perhaps, though apparently the more +discursive in its nature, demands a still greater degree of +concentration than the former. + +When the mind is set in motion, it requires a stronger exertion to +confine its movements within prescribed limits than when it is steadily +fixed on one given point. For instance, it would be easier to meditate +on the subject of patriotism, bringing before the mind every quality of +the heart and head that this virtue would have a tendency to develop, +than to take in, at one comprehensive glance,[76] the different +qualities of those several individuals who have been most remarked for +the virtue. Unless the thoughts were under strong and habitual control, +they would infallibly wander to other peculiarities of these same +individuals, unconnected with the given subject, to curious facts in +their lives, to contemporary characters, &c.; thus loitering by the +way-side in amusing, but here unprofitable reflection: for every +exercise of thought like that which I have described is only valuable in +proportion to the degree of accuracy with which we can contemplate with +one instantaneous glance, laid out upon a map as it were, those features +_only_ belonging to the given subject, and keeping out of view all +foreign ones. There is perhaps no faculty of the mind more susceptible +of evident, as it were tangible, improvement than this: besides, the +exercise of mind which it procures us is one of the highest intellectual +pleasures; you should therefore immediately and perseveringly devote +your efforts and attention to seek out the best mode of cultivating it. +Even the reading of books which require deep and continuous thought is +only a preparation for this higher exercise of the faculties--a useful, +indeed a necessary preparation, because it promotes the habit of fixing +the attention and concentrating the powers of the mind on any given +point. In assimilating the thoughts of others, however, with your own +mind and memory, the mind itself remains nearly passive; it is as the +wax that receives the impression, and must for this purpose be in a +suitable state of impressibility. In exact proportion to the +suitableness of this state are the clearness and the beauty of the +impression; but even when most true and most deep, its value is +extrinsic and foreign: it is only when the mind begins to act for itself +and weaves out of its own materials a new and native manufacture, that +the real intellectual existence can be said to commence. While, +therefore, I repeat my advice to you, to devote some portion of every +day to such reading as will require the strongest exertion of your +powers of thought, I wish, at the same time, to remind you that even +this, the highest species of _reading_, is only to be considered as a +means to an end: though productive of higher and nobler enjoyments than +the unintellectual can conceive, it is nothing more than the +stepping-stone to the genuine pleasures of pure intellect, to the +ennobling sensation of directing, controlling, and making the most +elevated use of the powers of an immortal mind. + +To woman, the power of abstracted thought, and the enjoyment derived +from it, is even more valuable than to man. His path lies in active +life; and the earnest craving for excitement, for action, which is the +characteristic of all powerful natures, is in man easily satisfied: it +is satisfied in the sphere of his appointed duty; "he must go forth, and +resolutely dare." Not so the woman, whose scene of action is her quiet +home: her virtues must be passive ones; and with every qualification for +successful activity, she is often compelled to chain down her vivid +imagination to the most monotonous routine of domestic life. When she is +entirely debarred from external activity, a restlessness of nature, that +can find no other mode of indulgence, will often invent for itself +imaginary trials and imaginary difficulties: hence the petty quarrels, +the mean jealousies, which disturb the peace of many homes that might +have been tranquil and happy if the same activity of thought and feeling +had been early directed into right channels. A woman who finds real +enjoyment in the improvement of her mind will neither have time nor +inclination for tormenting her servants and her family; an avocation in +which many really affectionate and professedly religious women exhaust +those superfluous energies which, under wise direction, might have +dispensed peace and happiness instead of disturbance and annoyance. A +woman who has acquired proper control over her thoughts, and can find +enjoyment in their intellectual exercise, will have little temptation to +allow them to dwell on mean and petty grievances. That admirable Swedish +proverb, "It is better to rule your house with your head than with your +heels," will be exemplified in all her practice. Her well-regulated and +comprehensive mind (and comprehensiveness of mind is as necessary to the +skilful management of a household as to the government of an empire) +will be able to contrive such systems of domestic arrangement as will +allot exactly the suitable works at the suitable times to each member of +the establishment: no one will be over-worked, no one idle; there will +not only be a place for every thing, and every thing in its place, but +there will also be a time for every thing, and every thing will have its +allotted time. Such a system once arranged by a master-mind, and still +superintended by a steady and intelligent, but not _incessant_ +inspection, raises the character of the governed as well as that of her +who governs: they are never brought into collision with each other; and +the inferior, whose manual expertness may far exceed that to which the +superior has even the capability of attaining, will nevertheless look up +with admiring respect to those powers of arrangement, and that steady +and uncapriciously-exerted authority, which so facilitate and lighten +the task of obedience and dependence. This mode of managing a household, +even if they found it possible, would of course be disliked by those +who, having no higher resources, would find the day hang heavy on their +hands unless they watched all the details of household work, and made +every action of every servant result from their own immediate +interference, instead of from an enlarged and uniformly operating +system. + +This subject has brought me back to the point from which I began,--the +_practical_ utility of a cultivated intellect, and the additional power +and usefulness it confers,--raising its possessor above all the mean and +petty cares of daily life, and enabling her to impart ennobling +influences to its most trifling details. + +The power of thought, which I have so earnestly recommended you to +cultivate, is even still more practical, and still more useful, when +considered relatively to the most important business of life--that of +religion. Prayer and meditation, and that communion with the unseen +world which imparts a foretaste of its happiness and glory, are enjoyed +and profited by in proportion to the power of controlling the thoughts +and of exercising the mind. Having a firm trust, that to you every other +object is considered subordinate to that of advancement in the spiritual +life, it must be a very important consideration whether, and how far, +the self-education you may bestow on yourself will help you towards its +attainment. In this point of view there can be no doubt that the mental +cultivation recommended in this letter has a much more advantageous +influence upon your religious life than any other manner of spending +your time. Besides the many collateral tendencies of such pursuits to +favour that growth in grace which I trust will ever remain the principal +object of your desires, experience will soon show you that every +improvement in the reflective powers, every additional degree of control +over the movements of the mind, may find an immediate exercise in the +duties of religion. + +The wandering thoughts which are habitually excluded from your hours of +study will not be likely to intrude frequently or successfully during +your hours of devotion; the habit of concentrating all the powers of +your mind on one particular subject, and then developing all its +features and details, will require no additional effort for the pious +heart to direct it into the lofty employments of meditation on eternal +things and communion with our God and Saviour: at the same time, the +employments of prayer and meditation will in their turn react upon your +merely secular studies, and facilitate your progress in them by giving +you habits of singleness of mind and steadiness of mental purpose. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[71] Carlyle. + +[72] Matt. xxv. 23. + +[73] Dan. xii. 3. + +[74] "The vessel whose rupture occasioned the paralysis was so minute +and so slightly affected by the circulation, that it could have been +ruptured only by the over-action of the mind"--_Bishop Jebb's Life_. + +[75] "This is nature's law; she will never see her children wronged. If +the mind which rules the body, ever forgets itself so far as to trample +upon its slave, the slave is never generous enough to forgive the injury +but will rise and smile its oppressor. Thus has many a monarch been +dethroned."--_Longfellow_. + +[76] It is the theory of Locke, that the angels have all their knowledge +spread out before them, as in a map,--all to be seen together at one +glance. + + + + +LETTER IX. + +THE CULTIVATION OF THE MIND + +(_Continued_) + + +In continuation of my last letter, I shall proceed at once to the minor +details of study, and suggest for your adoption such practices as others +by experience have found conducive to improvement. Not that one person +can lay down any rules for another that might in every particular be +safely followed: we must, each for ourselves, experimentalize long and +variously upon our own mind, before we can understand the mode of +treatment best suited to it; and we may, perhaps, in the progress of +such experiments, derive as much benefit from our mistakes themselves as +if the object of our experiments had been at once attained. It is not, +however, from wilful mistakes, or from deliberate ignorance, that we +ever derive profit. Instead, therefore, of striking out entirely new +plans for yourself, in which time and patience and even hope may be +exhausted, I should advise you to listen for direction to the +suggestions of those who by more than mere profession have frequented +the road upon which you are anxious to make a rapid progress. In books +you may find much that is useful; from the conversation of those who +have been self-educated you may receive still greater assistance,--as +the advice thus personally addressed must of course be more +discriminating and special. For this latter reason, in all that I am now +about to write, I keep in view the peculiar character and formation of +your mind. I do not address the world in general, who would profit +little by the course of education here recommended: I only write to my +Unknown Friend. + +In the first place, I should advise, as of primary importance, the +laying down of a regular system of employment. Impose upon yourself the +duty of getting through so much work every day; even, if possible, lay +down a plan as to the particular period of the day in which each +occupation is to be attended to; many otherwise wasted moments would be +saved by having arranged beforehand that which is successively to engage +the attention. The great advantage of such regularity is experienced in +the acknowledged truth of Lord Chesterfield's maxim: "He who has most +business has most leisure." When the multiplicity of affairs to be got +through absolutely necessitates the arrangement of an appointed time for +each, the same habits of regularity and of undilatoriness (if I may be +allowed the expression) are insensibly carried into the lighter pursuits +of life. There is another important reason for the self-imposition of +those systematic habits which to men of business are a necessity; it is, +however, one which you cannot at all appreciate until you have +experienced its importance: I refer to the advantage of being, by a +self-imposed rule, provided with an immediate object, in which the +intellectual pursuits of a woman must otherwise be deficient. I would +not depreciate the mightiness of "the future;"[77] but it is evident that +the human mind is so constituted as to feel that motives increase in +strength as they approach in nearness; otherwise, why should it require +such strong faith, and that faith a supernatural gift, to enable us to +sacrifice the present gratification of a moment to the happiness of an +eternity. While, therefore, you seek by earnest prayer and reverential +desire to bring the future into perpetually operating force upon your +principles and practice, do not, at the same time, be deterred by any +superstitious fears from profiting by yourself and urging on others +every immediate and temporal motive, not inconsistent with the great +one, "to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever."[78] + +While your principal personal object and personal gratification in your +studies is to be derived from the gradual improvement of your mind and +tastes, this gradual improvement will be often so imperceptible that you +will need support and cheering during many weeks and months of +apparently profitless mental application. Such support you may provide +for yourself in the daily satisfaction resulting from having fulfilled a +certain task, from having obeyed a law, though only a self-imposed one. +Men, in their studies, have almost always that near and immediate object +which I recommend to you to create for yourself. For them, as well as +for you, the distant future of attained mental eminence and excellence +is indeed the principal object. They, however, have it in their power to +cheat the toil and cheer the way by many intermediate steps, which +serve both as landmarks in their course and objects of interest within +their immediate reach. They can almost always have some special object +in view, as the result and reward of the studies of each month, or +quarter, or year. They read for prizes, scholarships, fellowships, &c.; +and these rewards, tangibly and actually within their reach, excite +their energies and quicken their exertions. + +For women there is nothing of the kind; it is therefore a useful +exercise of her ingenuity to invent some substitute, however inferior to +the original. For this purpose, I have never found any thing so +effectual as a self-imposed system of study,--the stricter the better. +It is not desirable, however, that this system should be one of very +constant employment; the strictness of which I spoke only refers to its +regularity. As the great object is that you should break through your +rules as seldom as possible, it would be better to fix the number of +your hours of occupation rather below, certainly not above, your average +habits. The time that may be to spare on days in which you meet with no +interruption from visitors may also be systematically disposed of: you +may always have some book in hand which will be ready to fill up any +unoccupied moments, without, even on these occasions, wasting your time +in deliberating as to what your next employment shall be. + +You understand me, therefore, to recommend that those hours of the +system which you are to impose upon yourself to employ in a certain +manner are not to exceed the number you can ordinarily secure without +interruption on _every_ day of the week, exclusive of visitors, &c. &c. +Every advantage pertaining to the system I recommend is much enhanced by +the uniformity of its observance: indeed, it is on rigid attention to +this point that its efficacy principally depends. I will now enter into +the details of the system of study which, however modified by your own +mind and habits, will, I hope, in some form or other, be adopted by you. +The first arrangement of your time ought to be the laying apart of a +certain period every day for the deepest thinking you can compel +yourself to, either on or off book. + +Having said so much on this point in my last letter, I should run the +risk of repetition if I dwelt longer upon it here. I only mention it at +all to give it again the most prominent position in your studies, and to +recommend its invariably occupying a daily place in them. For every +other pursuit, two or three times a week might answer as well, perhaps +better, as it would be too great an interruption to devote to each only +so short a period of time as could be allotted to it in a daily +distribution. It may be desirable, before I take leave of the subject of +your deeper studies, to mention here some of the books which will give +you the most effectual aid in the formation of your mind. + +Butler's Analogy will be perhaps the very best to begin with: you must +not, however, flatter yourself that you in any degree understand this or +other books of the same nature until you penetrate into their extreme +difficulty,--until, in short, you find out that you can _not_ thoroughly +understand them _yet_. Queen Caroline, George II.'s wife, in the hope of +proving to Bishop Horsley how fully she appreciated the value of the +work I have just mentioned, told him that she had it constantly beside +her at her breakfast-table, to read a page or two in it whenever she had +an idle moment. The Bishop's reply was scarcely intended for a +compliment. He said _he_ could never open the book without a headache; +and really a headache is in general no bad test of our having thought +over a book sufficiently to enter in some degree into its real meaning: +only remember, that when the headache begins the reading or the thinking +must stop. As you value tho long and unimpaired preservation of your +powers of mind, guard carefully against any over-exertion of them. + +To return to the "Analogy." It is a book of which you cannot too soon +begin the study,--providing you, as it will do, at once with materials +for the deepest thought, and laying a safe foundation for all future +ethical studies; it is at the same time so clearly expressed, that you +will have no perplexity in puzzling out the mere external form of the +idea, instead of fixing all your attention on solving the difficulties +of the thoughts and arguments themselves. Locke on the Human +Understanding is a work that has probably been often recommended to you. +Perhaps, if you keep steadily in view the danger of his materialistic, +unpoetic, and therefore untrue philosophy, the book may do you more good +than harm; it will furnish you with useful exercise for your thinking +powers; and you will see it so often quoted as authority, on one side as +truth, on the other as falsehood, that it may be as well you should form +your own judgment of it. You should previously, however, become guarded +against any dangers that might result from your study of Locke, by +acquiring a thorough-knowledge of the philosophy of Coleridge. This will +so approve itself to your conscience, your intellect, and your +imagination, that there can be no risk of its being ever supplanted in a +mind like yours by "plebeian"[79] systems of philosophy. Few have now +any difficulty in perceiving the infidel tendencies of that of Locke, +especially with the assistance of his French philosophic followers, +(with whose writings, for the charms of style and thought, you will +probably become acquainted in future years.) They have declared what the +real meaning of his system is by the developments which they have proved +to be its necessary consequences. Let Coleridge, then, be your previous +study, and the philosophic system detailed in his various writings may +serve as a nucleus, round which all other philosophy may safely enfold +itself. The writings of Coleridge form an era in the history of the +mind; and their progress in altering the whole character of thought, not +only in this but in foreign nations, if it has been slow, (which is one +of the necessary conditions of permanence,) has been already +astonishingly extensive. Even those who have never heard of the name of +Coleridge find their habits of thought moulded, and their perceptions of +truth cleared and deepened, by the powerful influence of his +master-mind,--powerful still, though it has probably only reached them +through three or four interposing mediums. The proud boast of one of +his descendants is amply verified: "He has given the power of vision:" +and in ages yet to come, many who may unfortunately be ignorant of the +very name of their benefactor will still be profiting daily, more and +more, by the mental telescopes he has provided. Thus it is that many +have rejoiced in having the distant brought near to them, and the +confused made clear, without knowing that Jansen was the name of him who +had conferred such benefits upon mankind. The immediate artist, the +latest moulder of an original design, is the one whose skill is extolled +and depended upon; and so it is even already in the case of Coleridge. +It is those only who are intimately acquainted with him who can plainly +see, that it is by the power of vision he has conferred that the really +philosophic writers of the present day are enabled to give views so +clear and deep on the many subjects that now interest the human mind. +All those among modern authors who combine deep learning with an +enlarged wisdom, a vivid and poetical imagination with an acute +perception of the practical and the true, have evidently educated +themselves in the school of Coleridge. He well deserves the name of the +Christian Plato, erecting as he does, upon the ancient and long-tried +foundation of that philosopher's beautiful system of intuitive truths, +the various details of minor but still valuable knowledge with which the +accumulated studies of four thousand intervening years have furnished +us, at the same time harmonizing the whole by the all-pervading spirit +of Christianity. + +Coleridge is truly a Christian philosopher: at the same time, however, +though it may seem a paradox, I must warn you against taking him for +your guide and instructor in theology. A Socinian during all the years +in which vivid and never-to-be-obliterated impressions are received, he +could not entirely free himself from those rationalistic tendencies +which had insensibly incorporated themselves with all his religious +opinions. He afterwards became the powerful and successful defender of +the saving truths which he had long denied; but it was only in cases +where Arianism was openly displayed, and was to be directly opposed. He +seems to have been entirely unconscious that its subtle evil tendencies, +its exaltation of the understanding above the reason, its questioning, +disobedient spirit, might all in his own case have insinuated themselves +into his judgments on theological and ecclesiastical questions. The +prejudices which are in early youth wrought into the very essence of our +being are likely to be unsuspected in exact proportion to the degree of +intimacy with which they are assimilated with the forms of our mind. +However this may be, you will not fail to observe that, in all branches +of philosophy that do not directly refer to religion, Coleridge's system +of teaching is opposed to the general character of his own theological +views, and that he has himself furnished the opponents of these peculiar +views with the most powerful arms that can be wielded against them. + +Every one of Coleridge's writings should be carefully perused more than +once, more than twice; in fact, they cannot be read too often; and the +only danger of such continued study would be, that in the enjoyment of +finding every important subject so beautifully thought out for you, +natural indolence might deter you from the comparatively laborious +exercise of thinking them out for yourself. The three volumes of his +"Friend," his "Church and State," his "Lay Sermons," and "Statesman's +Manual," will each of them furnish you with most important present +information and with inexhaustible materials for future thought. + +Reid's "Inquiry into the Human Mind," and Dugald Stewart's "Philosophy +of the Mind," are also books that you must carefully study. Brown's +"Lectures on Philosophy" are feelingly and gracefully written; but +unless you find a peculiar charm and interest in the style, there will +not be sufficient compensation for the sacrifice of time so voluminous a +work would involve. Those early chapters which give an account of the +leading systems of Philosophy, and some very ingenious chapters on +Memory, are perhaps as much of the book as will be necessary for you to +study carefully. + +The works of the German philosopher Kant will, some time hence, serve as +a useful exercise of thought; and you will find it interesting as well +as useful to trace the resemblances and differences between the great +English and the great German philosophers, Kant and Coleridge. Locke's +small work on Education contains many valuable suggestions, and Watts on +the Mind is also well worthy your attention. It is quite necessary that +Watts' Logic should form a part of your studies; it is written +professedly for women, and with ingenious simplicity. A knowledge of the +forms of Logic is useful even to women, for the purpose of sharpening +and disciplining the reasoning powers. + +Do not be startled when I further recommend to you Blackstone's +"Commentaries" and Burlamaqui's "Treatise on Natural Law." These are +books which, besides affording admirable opportunities for the exercise +of both concentrated and comprehensive thought, will fill your mind with +valuable ideas, and furnish it with very important information. Finally, +I recommend to your unceasing and most respectful study the works of +that "Prince of modern philosophers," Lord Bacon. In his great mind were +united the characteristics of the two ancient, but nevertheless +universal, schools of philosophy, the Aristotelic and the Platonic. It +is, I believe, the only instance known of such a difficult combination. +His "Essays," his "Advancement of Learning," his "Wisdom of the +Ancients," you might understand and profit by, even now. Through all the +course of an education, which I hope will only end with your life, you +cannot do better than to keep him as your constant companion and +intellectual guide. + +The foregoing list of works seems almost too voluminous for any woman to +make herself mistress of; but you may trust to one who has had extensive +experience for herself and others, that the principle of "Nulla dies +sine lineâ" is as useful in the case of reading as in that of painting: +the smallest quantity of work daily performed will accomplish in a +year's time that which at the beginning of the year would have seemed to +the inexperienced a hopeless task. + +As yet, I have only spoken of philosophy; there is, however, another +branch of knowledge, viz. science, which also requires great +concentration of thought, and which ought to receive some degree of +attention, or you will appear, and, what would be still worse, feel, +very stupid and ignorant with respect to many of the practical details +of ordinary life. You are continually hearing of the powers of the +lever, the screw, the wedge, of the laws of motion, &c. &c., and they +are often brought forward as illustrations even on simply literary +subjects. An acquaintance with these matters is also necessary to enter +with any degree of interest into the wonderful exhibitions of mechanical +powers which are among the prominent objects of attention in the present +day. You cannot even make intelligent inquiries, and betray a graceful, +because unwilling ignorance, without some degree of general knowledge of +science. + +Among the numerous elementary works which make the task of +self-instruction pleasant and easy, none can excel, if any have +equalled, the "Scientific Dialogues" of Joyce. In these six little +volumes, you will find a compendium of all preliminary knowledge; even +these, however, easy as they are, require to be carefully studied. The +comparison of the text with the plates, the testing for yourself the +truth of each experiment, (I do not mean that you should practically +test it, except in a few easy cases, for your mind has not a sufficient +taste for science to compensate for the trouble,) will furnish you with +very important lessons in the art of fixing your attention. + +"Conversations on Natural Philosophy," in one volume, by a lady, is +nearly as simple and clear as the "Scientific Dialogues;" it will serve +usefully as a successor to them. It is a great assistance to the memory +to read a different work on the same subject while the first is still +fresh in your mind. The sameness of the facts gives the additional force +of a double impression; and the variation in the mode of stating them, +always more striking when the books are the respective works of a man +and of a woman, adds the force of a trebled impression, stronger than +the two others, because there is in it more of the exercise of the +intellect, that is, on the supposition that, in accordance with the +foregoing rules, you should think over each respective statement until +you have reconciled them together by ascertaining the cause of the +variation. + +I shall now proceed to those lighter branches of literature which are +equally necessary with the preceding, and which will supply you with the +current coin of the day,--very necessary for ordinary intercourse, +though, in point of real value, far inferior to the bank-stock of +philosophic and scientific knowledge which it is to be your chief object +to acquire. History is the branch of lighter literature to which your +attention should be specially directed; it provides you with +illustrations for all philosophy, with excitements to heroism and +elevation of character, stronger perhaps than any mere theory can ever +afford. The simplest story, the most objective style of narrative, will +be that best fitted to answer these purposes. Your own philosophic +deductions will be much more beneficial to your intellect than any one +else's, supposing always that you are willing to make, history a really +intellectual study. + +Tytler's "Elements of History" is a most valuable book, and not an +unnecessary word throughout the whole. If you do not find getting by +heart an insuperable difficulty, you will do well to commit every line +to memory. Half a page a day of the small edition would soon lay up for +you such an extent of historic learning as would serve for a foundation +to all future attainments in this branch of study. Such outlines of +history are a great assistance in forming the comprehensive views which +are necessary on the subject of contemporaneous history: a glance at a +chart of history, or at La Voisne's invaluable Atlas, may be allowed +from time to time; but the principal arrangement ought to take place +within your own mind, for the sake of both your memory and your +intellect. Such outlines of history will, however, be very deficient in +the interest and excitement this study ought to afford you, unless you +combine with them minute details of particular periods, first, perhaps, +of particular countries. + +Thus I would have Rollings Ancient History succeed the cold and dry +outlines of Tytler. Hume's History of England will serve the same +purpose relatively to the modern portion; and for the History of France, +that of Eyre Evans Crowe imparts a brilliancy to perhaps the most +uninteresting of all historic records. If that is not within your reach, +Millet's History of France, in four volumes, though dull enough, is a +safe and useful school-room book, and may be read with profit +afterwards: this, too, would possess the advantage of helping you on at +the same time, or at least keeping up your knowledge of the French +language. + +It is desirable that all books from which you only want to acquire +objective information should be read in a foreign language: you thus +insensibly render yourself more permanently, and as it were habitually, +acquainted with the language in question, and carry on two studies at +the same time. If, however, you are not sufficiently acquainted with the +language to prevent any danger of a division of attention by your being +obliged to puzzle over the mere words instead of applying yourself to +the meaning of the author, you must not venture upon the attempt of +deriving a double species of knowledge from the same subject-matter: the +effect of the history as a story or picture impressed on the mind or +memory would be lost by any confusion with another object. + +Sir Walter Scott's "Tales of a Grandfather" are the best history of +Scotland you could read: Robertson's may come afterwards, when you have +time. + +Of Ireland and Wales you will learn enough from their constant +connection with the affairs of England. Sismondi's History of the +Italian Republics, in the Cabinet Cyclopedia, the History of the Ottoman +Empire, in Constable's Miscellany, the rapid sketches of the histories +of Germany, Austria, and Prussia, in Voltaire's Universal History, will +be perhaps quite sufficient for this second class of histories. + +The third must enter into more particular details, and thus confer a +still livelier interest upon bygone days. For instance, with reference +to ancient history, you should read some of the more remarkable of +Plutarch's Lives, those of Alexander, Cæsar, Theseus, Themistocles, &c.; +the Travels of Anacharsis, the worthy results of thirty years' hard +labour of an eminent scholar:[80] the Travels of Cyrus, Telemachus, +Belisarius, and Numa Pompilius, are also, though in very different +degrees, useful and interesting. The plays of Corneille and Racine, +Alfieri, and Metastasio, on historical subjects, will make a double +impression on your memory by the excitement of your imagination. All +ought to be read about the same time that you are studying those periods +of history to which they refer. This is of much importance. + +The same plan is to be pursued with reference to modern history. The +brilliant detached histories of Voltaire, Louis XIV. and XV., Charles +XII., and Peter the Great, ought to be read while the outlines of the +general history of the same period are freshly impressed on your memory. +The vivid historical pictures of De Barante are to be made the same use +of: he stands perhaps unrivalled as an objective historian. + +Shakspeare's historical plays are the best accompaniment to Hume's +History of England. Our modern novels, too, will supply you with rich +and varied information, as to the manners and characters of former +times. They are a very important part of our literature, and ought to be +considered essential to the completion of your circle of study. That +they also may be rendered as useful as possible, they should be read at +the same time with the entirely true history of the period to which they +refer. + +From history, I have insensibly glided into the subject of works of +fiction, one which perhaps previously requires a few words of apology; +for the strong recommendations with which I have pressed their study +upon you may sound strangely to the ears of many worthy people. In your +own enlightened and liberal mind, I do not indeed suspect the +indwelling of any such exclusive prejudices as those which forbid +altogether the perusal of works of fiction: such prejudices belong, +perhaps, to more remote periods, to those distant times when title-pages +were seen announcing "Paradise Lost, translated into prose for the +benefit of those pious souls whose consciences would not permit them to +read poetry."[81] This latter prejudice--that against poetry--seems, as +far as my observation extends, to be entirely forgotten. Fiction in this +form is now considered universally allowable; and some conscientious +persons, who would not allow themselves or others the relaxation of a +novel of any kind, will indulge unhesitatingly in the same sort of +love-stories, rendered still more exciting through the medium of poetry. +Most women, unfortunately, are incapable of carrying out the argument +from one course of action into another, or even of clearly +comprehending, when it is suggested to them, that whatever is wrong in +prose cannot be right in poetry. In a general way you will be able to +form your own judgment on this subject, by observing how much safer +prose-fiction is for yourself at times, when your feelings are excited, +and your mind unsettled and exhausted. A novel, even the most trifling +novel of fashionable life, if it has only cleverness sufficient to +engage your thoughts, would be, perhaps, a very desirable manner of +spending your time at the very period that poetry would be decidedly +injurious to you. Indeed, at all times, those who have vivid +imaginations and strong feelings should carefully guard and sparingly +indulge themselves in the perusal of poetic fictions. + +If it were possible, as some say, to study poetry artistically alone, +contemplating it as a work of art, and not allowing it to excite the +affections or the passions, there is no kind of poetry that might not be +enjoyed with safety in any state of mind: it is doubtful, however, +whether any work of art ought to be so contemplated. Its excellence can +only be estimated by the degree of emotion it produces; how then can an +unimpassioned examination ever form a true estimate of its merit? When +such an inspection of any work of art can be carried through, there is +generally some fault either in the thing criticized or in the critic; +for the distinctive characteristic of art is, that it is addressed to +our _human_ nature, and excites its emotions. In the words of the great +German poet:-- + + Science, O man, thou sharest with higher spirits; + But art thou hast alone. + +Pure science must be the same to all orders of created beings, but, as +far as our knowledge extends, the physical organization of humanity is +required for a perception of the beauties of art: therefore physical +excitement must be united with mental, in proportion as the work of art +is successful. Do not then hope ever to be able to study poetry without +a quickened pulse and a flushing cheek; you may as well leave it alone +altogether, if it produces no emotion. It must be either rhyme and no +poetry, or to you poetry can be nothing but rhyme. + +Think not, however, that I do wish you to leave it alone altogether; +nothing could be farther from my purpose. + +There is some old saying about fire being a good servant, but a bad +master. Now this is what I would say of the faculty of imagination, as +cultivated and excited by works of fiction in general, including, of +course, poetic fictions. As long as you can keep your imagination, even +though thus quickened and excited, under the strict control of religious +feeling--as long as you are able to prevent its rousing your temper to +an uncontrollable degree of susceptibility--as long as you can return +from an ideal world to the lowly duties of every-day life with a steady +purpose and unflinching determination, there can be no danger for you in +reading poetry. Perhaps you will, on the contrary, tell me that all this +is impossible, and, coward-like, you may prefer resigning the pleasure +to encountering the difficulties of struggling against its consequences: +but this is not the way either to strengthen your character or to form +your mind. All cultivation requires watchfulness and additional +precautions, either more or less: you must not, for the sake of a few +superable difficulties, resign the otherwise unattainable refinement +effected by poetry. Besides, its exalting and ennobling influence, if +properly understood and employed, will help you incalculably over the +rugged paths of your daily life; it will shed softening and hallowing +gleams over many things that you would otherwise find difficult to +endure, many duties otherwise too hard to fulfil; for there is poetry in +every thing that is really good and true. Happy those practical students +of its beauties who have learned to track the ore beneath the most +unpromising surfaces! Poetry, I look upon, in fact, as the most +essential, the most vital part of the cultivation of your mind, as from +its spirit your character will receive the most beneficial influence: +you must learn the double lesson of extracting it from every thing, and +of throwing it around every thing; and, for the better attainment of +this object, you must study it in itself, that you may become deeply +imbued with its spirit. + +Along with the poetry of every age and of every nation, I would have you +diligently study the criticisms of the masters of the art. It is true +that the intimate knowledge of all that has been written on this +hackneyed subject will never supply the want of natural poetic taste, of +that union of mental and moral refinement which produces the only +infallible touchstone of the beautiful; still such criticisms will tend +to refine and sharpen a natural taste, where it does exist; and without +bringing its technical rules practically to bear upon the objects of +your delighted admiration,[82] they will insensibly improve, refine, and +subtilize the natural delicacy of your perceptions. + +No criticisms can perhaps equal the masterly ones of Frederick Schlegel, +or those of the less powerful but not less rich mind of Augustus William +Schlegel,"--those two wonderful brothers," as a modern littérateur has +justly called them. Leigh Hunt, with perhaps more poetic originality, +but with less accuracy of æsthetical perception, will be a useful guide +to you in English poetry. Burke's "Treatise on the Sublime and +Beautiful" will give you the most correct general ideas on the subject +of taste. These are always best and most influential after they have +been for some time assimilated with the forms of the mind. It is a far +more useful exercise to apply them yourself to individual cases than +merely to lend your attention, though carefully and fixedly, to the +applications made for you by the writer. Alison's "Essay on Taste," +though interesting and improving, saves too much trouble to the reader +in this way. + +Your enjoyment and appreciation of poetry will be much heightened by +having it read aloud,--by yourself to yourself, if you should have no +other sympathizing reader or listener. + +The sound of the metre is essential to the full _sense_ of the meaning +and of the beauty of all poetry. Even the rhymeless flow of blank verse +is absolutely necessary to an accurate and entire perception of the +effect the author intends to produce: it is in both cases as the +colouring to a picture. It may be, indeed, that part of the composition +which appeals most directly to the senses; but all the works of art must +be imperfect which do not make this appeal; for, as I said before, all +works of art are intended to affect our _human_ nature. + +A well-practised _eye_ will, it is true, detect in a moment either the +faults or the excellence of the rhyme or the flow; but the effect on the +mind cannot be the same as when the impression is received through the +_ear_. + +Nor is the fuller appreciation of the poetry you read aloud the only +advantage to be derived from the practice I recommend. Few +accomplishments are more rare, though few more desirable, than that of +reading aloud with ease and grace. Great are the sufferings inflicted on +a sensitive ear by listening to one's favourite passages, touching in +pathos, or glorious in sublimity, travestied into twaddle by the false +taste or the want of practice of the reader. For it is not always from +false taste that the species of reading above complained of proceeds; on +the contrary, there may be a very correct perception of the writer's +meaning and object, while from want of practice, from mere mechanical +inexpertness, there may be an incapability of giving effect to that +meaning: hence arises false emphasis, and a thousand other +disagreeables. + +In this art, this important art of reading aloud, simplicity ought to be +the grand object of attainment, at the same time that it is the last +that can be attained. It is a point to reach after long efforts; not to +start from, as those of uncultivated or artificial taste would imagine. +I must repeat, that it cannot be acquired without persevering practice. +The best time to set vigorously about such practice would be when you +have but just listened with dismay to the injuries inflicted on some +favourite poet by the laboured or tasteless reading of an unpractised +performer. + +From reading aloud, I pass on to a still more important subject,--that +of writing: both are intimately connected branches of the main +one--cultivation of the mind. When this latter is attained in the first +place, a slight individual direction of previously acquired powers will +enable you to succeed in both the former. In your own case, however, as +in that of all those who have not the active organisation which involves +great facilities for mechanical efforts, it will be quite necessary to +give a special direction to your studies for the attainment of any +degree of excellence in both those arts. Those, on the contrary, whose +organization is more lively and vigorous, and whose nature and habits +fit them more for action than thought, will find little difficulty in +making any degree of cultivation of mind an immediate stepping-stone to +the other attainments: such persons can read at once with force and +truth as soon as education has given them accurate perceptions; they +will also write with ease, rapidity, and energy, as soon as the mind is +furnished with suitable materials. This is a kind of superiority which +you may often be inclined to envy, at least until experience has taught +you, in the first place, that the law of compensation is universal, and +in the second, that every thing is doubly valuable which is acquired +through hard labour and many struggles. For the first, you may observe +that such persons as possess naturally the mechanical facilities of +which I have spoken will never attain to an equal degree of excellence +with those whose naturally soft and inactive organization obliges them +to labour over every step of their onward way. They can, I repeat, never +attain to the same degree of excellence, either in feeling or +expression, because they do not possess the same refined delicacy of +perceptions, the same deep thoughtfulness and intuitive wisdom, as those +who owe these advantages to the very organization from which they +otherwise suffer. This is another illustration of the universal +law--that action is always in inverse proportion to power. For the +second, you will find that there is a pleasure in overcoming +difficulties, compared with which all easily attained or naturally +possessed advantages appear tame and vapid:[83] and besides the +difference in the pleasurable excitement of the contest, you are to +consider the advantage to the character that is derived from a battle +and a victory. + +When I speak to you of writing, and of your attaining to excellence in +this art, I have nothing in view but the improvement of your private +letters. It can seldom be desirable for a woman to challenge public +criticism by appearing before the world as an author. "My wife does not +write poetry, she lives it," was the reply of Richter, when his +highly-gifted Caroline was applied to for literary contributions to her +sister's publications. He described in these words the real nature of a +woman's duties. Any degree of avoidable publicity must lessen her peace +and happiness; and few circumstances can make it prudent for a woman to +give up retirement and retired duties, and subject herself to public +criticism, and probably public blame. + +The writing, then, in which I have advised you to accomplish yourself, +is the epistolary style alone, at once a means of communicating pleasure +to your friends, and of conferring extensive and permanent benefits upon +them. How useful has the kind, judicious, well-timed letter of a +Christian friend often proved, even when the spoken word of the same +friend might, during circumstances of excitement, have only increased +imprudence or irritation! + +Few printed books have effected more good than the private +correspondence of pious, well-educated, and strong-minded persons. +Indeed, the influence exercised by letters and conversation is so much +the peculiar and appropriate sphere of a woman's usefulness, that all +her studies should be pursued with an especial view to the attainment of +these accomplishments. The same qualities are to be desired in both. The +utmost simplicity--for nothing can be worse than speaking as if you were +repeating a sentence out of a book, except writing a friendly letter as +if you were writing out of a book,--a great abundance and readiness of +information for the purpose of supplying a variety of illustrations, an +intelligent perception of, and a cautious attention to, that which you +are called upon to answer, a conciseness of expression, that is +perfectly consistent with those minute details, which, gracefully +managed, as women only can, form the chief charm of their conversation +and writing,--with all these you should be careful to give free play to +the peculiarities of your own individual mind: this will always, even +where there is little or no talent, produce a pleasing degree of +originality. + +Before every thing else, however, let unstudied ease, I could almost add +carelessness, be the marked characteristics of both your conversation +and your writing. Refined taste will indeed insensibly produce the +former, without any effort of your own, far better than the strictest +rules could do. + +The praises of nonsense have been often written and often spoken; nor +can it ever be praised more than it deserves. However "within its magic +circle none dare walk"[84] but those who have naturally quick and +refined perceptions, assisted by careful cultivation. Narrow indeed is +the boundary which divides unfeminine flippancy from the graceful +nonsense which good authority and our own feelings pronounce to be +"exquisite."[85] The unsuccessful attempt at its imitation always +reminds me of Pilpay's fable of the Donkey and the Lapdog:--The poor +donkey, who had been going on very usefully in its own drudging way, +began to envy the lap-dog the caresses it received, and fancied that it +would receive the same if it jumped upon its master as the lap-dog did: +how awkwardly and unnaturally its attempts at playfulness were executed, +how unwelcome they proved, I need not tell you. Nothing is more +difficult than playfulness or even vivacity of manner--nothing is so +sure a test of good breeding and high cultivation of mind; either may +carry you safely through, but their union alone can render playfulness +and vivacity entirely fascinating. + +After all that I have written, I must again repeat what I began +with,--that you are to try each different mode of study for yourself, +and that the advice of others will be of use to you only when you have +assimilated it with your own mind, testing it by your own practice, and +giving it the fair trial of _patient_ perseverance. + +I ought perhaps, before I close this letter, to make some apology for +recommending, as a part of your course of study, either Rollin or Hume, +one because he is "_trop bon homme_,"[86] the other because he is not +"_bon_" in any sense of the word. My apology, or rather my reason, will, +however, be only a repetition of that which I have said before, viz. +that I should wish you to read history strictly, and merely, as a story, +and to form your _own_ philosophic and religious opinions previously, +and from other sources. + +So many valuable and important histories, so many necessary books on +every subject, have been written by the professed infidel, as well as by +the practical forgetter of God, that you must prepare yourself for a +constant state of intellectual watchfulness, as to all the various +opinions suggested by the different authors you study. It is not their +opinions you want, but their facts. Most standard histories, even Hume +and Voltaire, tell truth as to all leading facts: after half-a-century +or so of filtration, truth becomes purified from contemporary passions +and prejudices, and can be easily got at without any importantly +injurious mixture. + +It was to mark my often-repeated wish that you should _philosophize_ for +yourself, that I have omitted the names of Guizot and Hallam in the list +of authors recommended for your perusal. With the tastes which I suppose +you to possess and to acquire, you will not be likely to leave them out +of your own list. The histories of Arnold and Niebuhr also belong to a +distinct class of writings. I should prefer your being intimately +acquainted with the so-called poetical histories which have been so +long received and loved, before you interest yourself in these modern +discoveries. + +The lectures of Dr. Arnold upon Modern History contain, however, such a +treasure of brilliant philosophy, of deep thought and forcible writing, +that the sooner you begin them, and the more intimately you study them, +the better pleased I should be. With respect to his singular views on +religion and politics, you must always keep carefully in mind that his +peculiar mental organization incapacitated him from forming correct +opinions on any subject connected with imagination or metaphysics. You +will soon be able to trace the manner in which the absence of these two +powers affected all his reasonings, and closed up his mind against the +most important species of evidence. I carry on the supposition that you +have formed, or will form, all your views on religion and politics from +your own judgment, assisted by the experience of those whose mind you +know to be qualified by their many-sidedness to judge clearly and +impartially--upon universal, not _partial_ data. Remember, at the same +time, however, that you belong to a church which professedly protests +against popes of every description, against the unscriptural practice of +calling any man "Father upon earth." May you attend diligently, and in a +child-like spirit of submission, to the teaching of that Holy and +Apostolic Church, and there will then be no danger of your being led +astray either by the infidel Hume or the sainted Arnold. + +Finally, I would again refer to that subject which ought to be the +beginning and end, the foundation and crowning-point of all our studies. +Let "whatever you do be done to the glory of God."[87] Earthly motives, +if pure and amiable ones, may hold a subordinate place; but unless the +mainspring of your actions be the desire "to glorify your Father which +is in heaven," you will find no real peace in life, no blessedness in +death. As one likely means of keeping this primary object of your life +constantly before you, I should strongly recommend your making the +cultivation and improvement of your mental powers the subject of special +prayer at all the appointed seasons of prayer; at the same time, your +studies themselves should never be entered upon without prayer,--prayer, +that the evil mingled with all earthly things may fall powerless on your +sanctified heart,--prayer, that any improvement you obtain may make you +a more useful servant of the Lord your God--more persuasive and +influential in that great work which in different ways is appropriated +to all in their several spheres of action, viz. the high and holy office +of winning souls to Christ.[88] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[77] Coleridge. + +[78] Assembly's Catechism. + +[79] Plebeii videntur appellandi omnes philosophi qui à Platone et +Socrate et ab ea familia dissiderent.--CICERO, _Tuscul._ 1, 2, 3. + +[80] L'Abbé Barthélemi. + +[81] Quarterly Review. + +[82] The critic who suffers his philosophy to reason away his pleasure +is not much wiser than a child who cuts open his drum to see what is +within it that causes the music.--_Edinburgh Review_. + +[83] Ce n'est pas la victoire, c'est le combat qui fait le bonheur des +nobles coeurs.--_Montalembert_. + +Si le Tout-puissant tenait dans une main la vérité, et dans l'autre la +recherche de la vérité, c'est la recherche que je lui demanderais. +--_Lessing_. + +[84] Dryden, of Shakspeare. + +[85] Miss Ferrier. Mrs. H.E. + +[86] Napoleon's remark on Rollin's History. + +[87] 1 Cor. x. 31. + +[88] 1 Pet. iii. 1. + + + + +LETTER X. + +AMUSEMENTS. + + +In addressing the following observations to you, I keep in mind the +peculiarity of your position,--a position which has made you, while +scarcely more than a child, independent of external control, and forced +you into the responsibilities of deciding thus early on a course of +conduct that may seriously affect your temporal and eternal interests. +More happy are those placed under the authority of strict parents, who +have already chosen and marked out for themselves a path to which they +expect their children strictly to adhere. The difficulties that may +still perplex the children of such parents are comparatively few: even +if the strictness of the authority over them be inexpedient and over +strained, it affords them a safeguard and a support for which they +cannot be too grateful; it preserves them from the responsibility of +acting for themselves at a time when their age and inexperience alike +unfit them for a decision on any important practical point; it keeps +them disengaged, as it were, from being pledged to any peculiar course +of conduct until they have formed and matured their opinion as to the +habits of social intercourse most expedient for them to adopt. Thus, +when the time for independent action comes, they are quite free to +pursue any new course of life without being shackled by former +professions, or exposing themselves to the reproach (and consequent +probable loss of influence) of having altered their former opinions and +views. + +Those, then, who are early guarded from any intercourse with the world +ought, instead of murmuring at the unnecessary strictness of their +seclusion, to reflect with gratitude on the advantages it affords them. +Faith ought, even now, to teach them the lesson that experience is sure +to impress on every thoughtful mind, that it is a special mercy to be +preserved from the duties of responsibility until we are, comparatively +speaking, fitted to enter upon them. + +This is not, however, the case with you. Ignorant and inexperienced as +you are, you must now select, from among all the modes of life placed +within your reach, those which you consider the best suited to secure +your welfare for time and for eternity. Your decision now, even in very +trifling particulars, must have some effect upon your state in both +existences. The most unimportant event of this life carries forward a +pulsation into eternity, and acquires a solemn importance from the +reaction. Every feeling which we indulge or act upon becomes a part of +ourselves, and is a preparation, by our own hand, of a scourge or a +blessing for us throughout countless ages. + +It may seem a matter of comparative unimportance, of trifling influence +over your future fate, whether you attend Lady A.'s ball to-night, or +Lady H.'s to-morrow. You may argue to yourself that even those who now +think balls entirely sinful have attended hundreds of them in their +time, and have nevertheless become afterwards more religious and more +useful than others who have never entered a ball-room. You might add, +that there could be more positive sin in passing two or three hours with +two or three people in Lady A's house in the morning than in passing the +same number of hours with two or three hundred people in the same house +in the evening. This is indeed true; but are you not deceiving yourself +by referring to the mere overt act? That is, as you imply, past and over +when the evening is past; but it is not so with the feelings which _may_ +make the ball either delightful or disagreeable to you; feelings, which +may be then for the first time excited, never to be stilled +again,--feelings which, when they once exist, will remain with you +throughout eternity; for even if by the grace of God they are finally +subdued, they will still remain with you in the memory of the painful +conflicts, the severe discipline of inward and outward trials, required +for their subjugation. Do not, however, suppose that I mean to attribute +exclusive or universally injurious effects to the atmosphere of a +ball-room. In the innocent smiles and unclouded brow of many a fair +girl, the experienced eye truly reads their freedom from any taint of +envy, malice, or coquetry; while, on the other hand, unmistakeable and +unconcealed exhibitions of all these evil feelings may often be +witnessed at a so-called "religious party." + +This remark, however, is not to my purpose; it is only made _par +parenthèse_, to obviate any pretence for mistaking my meaning, and for +supposing that I attribute positive sin to that which I only object to +as the possible, or rather the probable occasion of sin. I always think +this latter distinction a very important one to attend to in discussing, +in a more general point of view, the subject of amusements of every +kind: it is, however, enough merely to notice it here, while we pass on +to the question which I urge upon you to apply personally to yourself, +namely, whether the ball-room be not a more favourable atmosphere for +the first excitement and after-cultivation of many feminine failings +than the quieter and more confined scenes of other social intercourse. + +It is by tracing the effect produced on our own mind that we can alone +form a safe estimate of the expediency of doubtful occupations. This is +the primary point of view in which to consider the subject, though by no +means the only one; for every Christian ought to exhibit a readiness in +his own small sphere to emulate the unselfishness of the great apostle: +"If meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world +standeth, lest I make my brother to offend."[89] The fear of the awful +threatenings against those who "offend," _i.e._ lead into sin, any of +"God's little ones,"[90] should combine with love for those for whom the +Saviour died, to induce us freely to sacrifice things which would be +personally harmless, on the ground of their being injurious to others. + +This part of the subject is, however, of less importance for our present +consideration, as from your youth and inexperience your example cannot +yet exercise much influence on those around you. + +Let us therefore return to the more personal part of the subject, +namely, the effect produced on your own mind. I have spoken of feminine +"failings:" I should, however, be inclined to apply a stronger term to +the first that I am about to notice--the love of admiration, considering +how closely it must ever be connected with the fatal vice of envy. She +who has an earnest craving for general admiration for herself, is +exposed to a strong temptation to regret the bestowal of any admiration +on another. She has an instinctive exactness in her account of receipt +and expenditure; she calculates almost unconsciously that the time and +attention and interest excited by the attractive powers of others is so +much homage subtracted from her own. That beautiful aphorism, "The human +heart is like heaven--the more angels the more room for them," is to +such persons as unintelligible in its loving spirit as in its wonderful +philosophic truth. Their craving is insatiable, once it has become +habitual, and their appetite is increased and stimulated, instead of +being appeased, by the anxiously-sought-for nourishment. + +These observations can only strictly apply to the fatal desire for +general admiration. As long as the approbation only of the wise and good +is our object, it is not so much that there are fewer opportunities of +exciting the feeling of envy at this approbation being granted to +others; there is, further, an instinctive feeling of its incompatibility +with the very object we are aiming at. The case is altogether different +when we seek to attract those whose admiration may be won by qualities +quite different from any connected with moral excellence. There is here +no restraint on our evil feelings: and when we cannot equal the +accomplishments, the beauty, and the graces of another, we may possibly +be tempted to envy, and, still further, to depreciate, those of the +hated rival--perhaps, worse than all, may be tempted to seek to attract +attention by means less simple and less obvious. If the receiving of +admiration be injurious to the mind, what must the seeking for it be! +"The flirt of many seasons" loses all mental perceptions of refinement +by long practice in hardihood, as the hackneyed practitioner +unconsciously deepens the rouge upon her cheek, until, unperceived by +her blunted visual organs, it loses all appearance of truth and beauty. +Some instances of the kind I allude to nave come before even your +inexperienced eyes; and from the shrinking surprise with which you now +contemplate them, I have no doubt that you would wish to shun even the +first step in the same career. Indeed, it is probable that you, under +any circumstances, would never go so far in coquetry as those to whom +your memory readily recurs. Your innate delicacy, your feminine +high-mindedness may, at any future time, as well as at present, preserve +you from the bad taste of challenging those attentions which your very +vanity would reject as worthless if they were not voluntarily offered. + +Nevertheless, even in you, habits of dissipation may produce an effect +which to your inmost being may be almost equally injurious. You may +possess an antidote to prevent any external manifestations of the +poisonous effects of an indulged craving for excitement; but general +admiration, however spontaneously offered and modestly received, has +nevertheless a tendency to create a necessity for mental stimulants. +This, among other ill-effects, will, worst of all, incapacitate you from +the appreciative enjoyment of healthy food. + + The heart that with its luscious cates + The world has fed so long, + Could never taste the simple food + That gives fresh virtue to the good, + Fresh vigour to the strong.[91] + +The pure and innocent pleasures which the hand of Providence diffuses +plentifully around us will, too probably, become tasteless and insipid +to one whose habits of excitement have destroyed the fresh and simple +tastes of her mind. Stronger doses, as in the case of the opium-eater, +will each day be required to produce an exhilarating effect, without +which there is now no enjoyment, without which, in course of time, there +will not be even freedom from suffering. + +There is an analogy throughout between the mental and the physical +intoxication; and it continues most strikingly, even when we consider +both in their most favourable points of view, by supposing the victim to +self-indulgence at last willing to retrace her steps. This fearful +advantage is granted to our spiritual enemy by wilful indulgence in sin; +that it is only when trying to adopt or resume a life of sobriety and +self-denial that we become exposed to the severest temporal punishments +of self-indulgence. As long as a course of this self-indulgence is +continued, if external things should prosper with us, comparative peace +and happiness may be enjoyed--(if indeed the loftier pleasures of +devotion to God, self-control, and active usefulness can be +forgotten,--supposing them to have been once experienced.) It is only +when the grace of repentance is granted that the returning child of God +becomes at the same time alive to the sinfulness of those pleasures +which she has cultivated the habit of enjoying, and to the mournful fact +of having lost all taste for those simple pleasures which are the only +safe ones, because they alone leave the mind free for the exercise of +devotion, and the affections warm and fresh for the contemplation of +"the things that belong to our peace." + +Sad and dreary is the path the penitent worldling has to traverse; +often, despairing at the difficulties her former habits have brought +upon her, she looks back, longingly and lingeringly, upon the broad and +easy path she has lately left. Alas! how many of those thus tempted to +"look back" have turned away entirely, and never more set their faces +Zion-ward. + +From the dangers and sorrows just described you have still the power of +preserving yourself. You have as yet acquired no factitious tastes; you +still retain the power of enjoying the simple pleasures of innocent +childhood. It now depends upon your manner of spending the intervening +years, whether, in the trying period of middle-age, simple and natural +pleasures will still awaken emotions of joyousness and thankfulness in +your heart. + +I have spoken of thankfulness,--for one of the best tests of the +innocence and safety of our pleasures is, the being able to thank God +for them. While we thus look upon them as coming to us from his hand, we +may safely bask in the sunshine of even earthly pleasures:-- + + The colouring may be of this earth, + The lustre comes of heavenly birth.[92] + +Can you feel this with respect to the emotions of pleasurable excitement +with which you left Lady M.'s ball? I am no fanatic, nor ascetic; and I +can imagine it possible (though not probable) that among the visitors +there some simple-minded and simple-hearted people, amused with the +crowds, the dresses, the music, and the flowers, may have felt, even in +this scene of feverish and dangerous excitement, something of "a child's +pure delight in little things."[93] Without profaneness, and in all +sincerity, they might have thanked God for the, to them, harmless +recreation. + +This I suppose possible in the case of some, but for you it is not so. +The keen susceptibilities of your excitable nature will prevent your +resting contented without sharing in the more exciting pleasures of the +ball-room; and your powers of adaptation will easily tempt you forward +to make use of at least some of those means of attracting general +admiration which seem to succeed so well with others. + +"Wherever there is life there is danger;" and the danger is probably in +proportion to the degree of life. The more energy, the more feeling, the +more genius possessed by an individual, the greater also are the +temptations to which that individual is exposed. The path which is safe +and harmless for the dull and inexcitable--the mere animals of the human +race--is beset with dangers for the ardent, the enthusiastic, the +intellectual. These must pay a heavy penalty for their superiority; but +is it therefore a superiority they would resign? Besides, the very +trials and temptations to which their superior vitality subjects them +are not alone its necessary accompaniment, but also the necessary means +for forming a superior character into eminent excellence. + +Self-will, love of pleasure, quick excitability, and consequent +irritability, are the marked ingredients in every strong character; its +strength must be employed against itself to produce any high moral +superiority. + +There is an analogy between the metaphysical truths above spoken of and +that fact in the physical history of the world, that coal-mines are +generally placed in the neighbourhood of iron-mines. This is a provision +involved in the nature of the thing itself; and we know that, without +the furnaces thus placed within reach, the natural capabilities of the +useful ore would never be developed. + +In the same way, we know that an accompanying furnace of affliction and +temptation is necessarily involved in that very strength of character +which we admire; and also, that, without this fiery furnace, the vast +capabilities of their nature, both moral and mental, could never be +fully developed. + +Suffering, sorrow, and temptations are the invariable conditions of a +life of progress; and suffering, sorrow, and temptations are all of them +always in proportion to the energies and capabilities of the character. + +There is another analogy in animated nature, illustrative of the case of +those who, without injury to themselves, (the injury to our neighbour +is, as I said before, a different part of the subject,) may attend the +ball-room, the theatre, and the race-course. Those animals lowest in the +scale of creation, those who scarcely manifest one of the energies of +vitality, are also those which are the least susceptible of suffering +from external causes. The medusæ are supposed to feel no pain even in +being devoured, and the human zoophyte is, in like manner, comparatively +out of the reach of every suffering but death. Have you not seen some +beings endowed with humanity nearly as destitute of a nervous system as +the medusæ, nearly as insusceptible of any sensation from the accidents +of life. Some of these, too, may possess virtue and piety as well as the +animal qualities of patience and sweetness of temper, which are the mere +results of their physical organization. No degree of effort or +discipline, however, (indeed they bear within themselves no capabilities +for either,) could enable such persons to become eminently useful, +eminently respected, or eminently loved. They have doubtless some work +appointed them to do, and that a necessary work in God's earthly +kingdom; but theirs are inferior duties, very different from those which +you, and such as you, are called on to fulfil. + +Have I in any degree succeeded in reconciling you to the +unvaryingly-accompanying penalties necessary to qualify the glad +consciousness of possessing intellectual powers, a warm heart, and a +strong mind? Your high position will indeed afford you far less +happiness than that which may belong to the lower ranks in the scale of +humanity; but the noble mind will soon be disciplined into dispensing +with happiness;--it will find instead--blessedness. + +If yours be a more difficult path than that of others, it is also a more +honourable one: in proportion to the temptations endured will be the +brightness of that "crown of life which the Lord hath promised to them +that love him."[94] + +But there is, perhaps, less necessity for trying to impress upon your +mind a sense of your superiority than for urging upon you its +accompanying responsibility, and the severe circumspection it calls upon +you to exercise. Thus, from what I have above written, it necessarily +follows that you cannot evade the question I am now pressing upon you by +observing the effect of dissipation upon others, by bringing forward the +example of many excellent women who have passed through the ordeal of +dissipation untainted, and, still themselves possessing loving hearts +and simple minds, are fearlessly preparing their daughters for the same +dangerous course. Remember that those from whom you would shrink from a +supposed equality on other points cannot be safely taken as examples for +your own course of life. Your own concern is to ascertain the effect +produced upon your own mind by different kinds of society, and to +examine whether you yourself have the same healthy taste for simple +pleasures and unexciting pursuits as before you engaged, even as +slightly as you have already done, in the dissipation of a London +season. + +I once heard a young lady exclaim, when asked to accompany her family on +a boating excursion, "Can any thing be more tiresome than a family +party?" Young as she was, she had already lost all taste for the simple +pleasures of domestic life. As she was intellectual and accomplished, +she could still enjoy solitude; but her only ideas of pleasure as +connected with a party were those of admiration and excitement. We may +trace the same feelings in the complaints perpetually heard of the +stupidity of parties,--complaints generally proceeding from those who +are too much accustomed to attention and admiration to be contented with +the unexciting pleasures of rational conversation, the exercise of +kindly feelings, and the indulgence of social habits--all in their way +productive of contentment to those who have preserved their mind in a +state of freshness and simplicity. Any greater excitement than that +produced by the above means cannot surely be profitable to those who +only seek in society for so much pleasure as will afford them +_relaxation_; those who engage in an arduous conflict with ever-watchful +enemies both within and without ought carefully to avoid having their +weapons of defence _unstrung_. I know that at present you would shrink +from the idea of making pleasure your professed pursuit, from the idea +of engaging in it for any other purpose but the one above stated--that +of necessary relaxation; I should not otherwise have addressed you as I +do now. Your only danger at present is, that you may, I should hope +indeed unconsciously, _acquire_ the habit of requiring excitement during +your hours of relaxation. + +In opposition to all that I have said, you will probably be often told +that excitement, instead of being prejudicial, is favourable to the +health of both mind and body; and this in some respects is true: the +whole mental and physical constitution benefit by, and acquire new +energy from, nay, they seem to develop hidden forces on occasions of +natural excitement; but natural it ought to be, coming in the +providential course of the events of life, and neither considered as an +essential part of daily food, nor inspiring distaste for simple, +ordinary nourishment. I fear much, on the other hand, any excitement +that we choose for ourselves; that only is quite safe which is dispensed +to us by the hand of the Great Physician of souls: he alone knows the +exact state of our moral constitution, and the exact species of +discipline it requires from hour to hour. + +You will wonder, perhaps, that throughout the foregoing remonstrance I +have never recommended to you the test so common among many good people +of our acquaintance, viz. whether you are able to pray as devoutly on +returning from a ball as after an evening spent at home? My reason for +this silence was, that I have found the test an ineffectual one. The +advanced Christian, if obedience to those who are set in authority over +her should lead her into scenes of dissipation, will not find her mind +disturbed by being an unwilling actor in the uninteresting amusements. +She, on the other hand, who is just beginning a spiritual life, must be +an incompetent judge of the variations in the devotional spirit of her +mind,--anxious, besides, as one should be to discourage any of that +minute attention to variations of religious feeling which only disturbs +and harasses the mind, and hinders it from concentrating its efforts +upon obedience. Lastly, she who has never been mindful of her baptismal +vows of renunciation of the world, the flesh, and the devil, will "say +her prayers" quite as satisfactorily to herself after a day spent in one +manner as in another. The test of a distaste for former simple +pursuits, and want of interest in them, is a much safer one, more +universally applicable, and not so easily evaded. It is equally +effectual, too, as a religious safeguard; for the natural and +impressible state in which the mind is kept by the absence of habitual +stimulants is surely the state in which it is best qualified for the +exercise of devotion,--for self-denial, for penitence and prayer. + +Let us return now to a further examination of the nature of the dangers +to which you may be exposed by a life of gayety--an examination that +must be carried on in your own mind with careful and anxious inquiry. I +have before spoken of the duty of ascertaining what effects different +kinds of society produce upon you: it is only by thus qualifying +yourself to pass your _own_ judgment on this important subject that you +can avoid being dangerously influenced by those assertions that you hear +made by others. You will probably, for instance, be told that a love of +admiration often manifests itself as glaringly in the quiet drawing-room +as in the crowded ball-room; and I readily admit that the feelings +cherished into existence, or at least into vigour, by the exciting +atmosphere of the latter cannot be readily laid aside with the +ball-dress. There will, indeed, be less opportunity for their display, +less temptation to the often accompanying feelings of envy and +discontent, but the mental process will probably still be carried on--of +distilling from even the most innocent pleasures but one species of +dangerous excitement: I cannot, however, admit, that to the +unsophisticated mind there will be any danger of the same nature in the +one case as in the other. Society, when entered into with a simple, +prayerful spirit, may be considered one of the most improving as well as +one of the most innocent pleasures allotted to us. Still further, I +believe that the exercise of patience, benevolence, and self-denial +which it involves, is a most important part of the disciplining process +by which we are being brought into a state of preparation for the +society of glorified spirits, of "just men made perfect." + +I advise you earnestly, therefore, against any system of conduct, or +indulgence of feeling, that would involve your seclusion from +society--not only on the grounds of such seclusion obliging you to +unnecessary self-denial, but on the still stronger grounds of the loss +to our moral being which would result from the absence of the peculiar +species of discipline that social intercourse affords. My object in +addressing you is to point out the dangers to you of peculiar kinds of +society, not by any means to seek to persuade you to avoid it +altogether. + +Let us, then, consider carefully the respective tendencies of different +kinds of society to cherish or create the feelings of "envy, hatred, and +malice, and all uncharitableness," by exciting a craving for general +admiration, and a desire to secure the largest portion for yourself. + +You have already been a few weeks out in the world; you have been at +small social parties and crowded balls: they must have given you +sufficient experience to understand the remarks I make. + +Have you not, then, felt at the quiet parties of which I have spoken (as +contrasted with dissipated ones) that it was pleasure enough for you to +spend your whole evening talking with persons of your own sex and age +over the simple occupations o£ your daily-life, or the studies which +engage the interest of your already cultivated mind? Lady L. may have +collected a circle of admirers around her, and Miss M.'s music may have +been extolled as worthy of an artist, but upon all this you looked +merely as a spectator; without either wish or idea of sharing in their +publicity or their renown, you probably did not form a thought, +certainly not a wish, of the kind. In the ball-room, however, the case +is altogether different; the most simple and fresh-minded woman cannot +escape from feelings of pain or regret at being neglected or unobserved +here. She goes for the professed purpose of dancing; and when few or no +opportunities are afforded her of sharing in that which is the amusement +of the rest of the room, should she feel neither mortification at her +own position, nor envy, however disguised and modified, at the different +position of others, she can possess none of that sensitiveness which is +your distinctive quality. It is true, indeed, that the experienced +chaperon is well aware that the girl who commands the greatest number of +partners is not the one most likely to have the greatest number of +proposals-at the end of the season, nor the one who will finally make +the most successful _parti_. This reconciles the prudential looker-on to +the occasional and partial appearance of neglect. Not so the young and +inexperienced aspirant to admiration: _her_ worldliness is now in an +earlier phase; and she thinks that her fame rises or falls among her +companions according as she can compete with them in the number of her +partners, or their exclusive devotion to her, which after a season or +two is discovered to be a still safer test of successful coquetry. Thus +may the young innocent heart be gradually led on to depend for its +enjoyment on the factitious passing admiration of a light and +thoughtless hour; and still worse, if possessed of keen susceptibilities +and powers of quick adaptation, the lesson is often too easily learned +of practising the arts likely to attract notice, thus losing for ever +the simplicity and modest freshness of a woman's nature. That may be a +fatal evening to you on which you will first attract sufficient notice +to have it said of you that you were more admired than Lucy D. or Ellen +M.; this may be a moment for a poisonous plant to spring up in your +heart, which will spread around its baleful influence until your dying +day. It is a disputed point among ethical metaphysicians, whether the +seeds of every vice are equally planted in each human bosom, and only +prevented from germinating by opposing circumstances, and by the grace +of God assisting self-control. If this be true, how carefully ought we +to avoid every circumstance that may favour the commencing existence of +before unknown sins and temptations. The grain that has been destitute +of vitality for a score of centuries is wakened into unceasing, because +continually renewed existence, by the fostering influences of light and +air and a suitable soil. Evil tendencies may be slumbering in your +bosom, as destitute of life, as incapable of growth, as the oats in the +foldings of the mummy's envelope. Be careful lest, by going into the way +of temptation, you may involuntarily foster them into the very existence +which they would otherwise never possess. + +When once the craving for excitement has become a part of our nature, +there is of course no safety in the quietest, or, under other +circumstances, most innocent kind of society. The same amusements will +be sought for in it as those which have been enjoyed in the ball-room, +and every company will be considered insufferably wearisome which does +not furnish the now necessary stimulant of exclusive attention and +general admiration. + +I write the more strongly to you on the subject of worldly amusements, +because I see with regret a tendency in the writings and conversation of +the religious world, as it is called, to extol every other species of +self-denial, but to Observe a studied silence respecting this one. + +A reaction seems to have taken place in the public mind. Instead of the +puritanic strictness that condemned the meeting of a few friends for any +purposes besides those of reading the Scriptures and praying extempore, +practices are now introduced, and favoured, and considered harmless, +almost as strongly contrasted with the former ones as was the +promulgation of the Book of Sports with the strict observances that +preceded it. We see some, of whose piety and excellence no doubt can be +entertained, mingling unhesitatingly in the most worldly amusements of +those who are by profession as well as practice "lovers of pleasure more +than lovers of God." + +How cruelly are the minds of the simple and the timid perplexed by the +persons who thus act, as well as by those popular writings which +countenance in professedly religious persons these worldly and +self-indulgent habits of life. The hearts and the consciences of the +"weak brethren" re-echo the warnings given them by the average opinions +of the wise and good in all ages of the world, namely, that, with +respect to worldly amusements, they must "come out and be separate." How +else can they be sons and daughters of Him, to whom they vowed, as the +necessary condition of entering into that high relationship, that they +would "renounce the pomps and vanities of this wicked world?" If the +question of pomps should be perplexing to some by the different +requirements of different stations in life, there is surely less +difficulty of the same kind in relation to its vanities. But while the +"weak in faith" are hesitating and trembling at the thought of all the +opposition and sacrifices a self-denying course of conduct must, under +any circumstances, involve, they are still further discouraged by +finding that some whom they are accustomed to respect and admire have in +appearance gone over to the enemy's camp. + +It is only, indeed, in their hours of relaxation that they select as +their favourite companions those who are professedly engaged in a +different service from their own--those whom they know to be devoted +heart and soul to the love and service of that "world which lieth in +wickedness."[95] Are not, however, their hours of relaxation also their +hours of danger--those in which they are more likely to be surprised and +overcome by temptation than in hours of study or of business? All this +is surely very perplexing to the young and inexperienced, however +personally safe and prudent it may be for those from whom a better +example might have been justly expected. It is deeply to be regretted +that there is not more unity of action and opinion among those who "love +the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity," more especially in cases where such +unity of action is only interfered with by dislike to the important and +eminent Christian duty of self-denial. + +I am inclined to apply terms of stronger and more general condemnation +than any I have hitherto used to those amusements which are more +especially termed "public." + +You should carefully examine, with prayer to be guided aright, whether a +voluntary attendance at the theatre or the race-course is not in a +degree exposed to the solemn denunciation uttered by the Saviour against +those who cause others to offend.[96] Can that relaxation be a part of +the education to fit us for our eternal home which is regardless of +danger to the spiritual interests of others, and acts upon the spirit of +the haughty remonstrance of Cain--"Am I my brother's keeper?"[97] For +all the details of this argument, I refer you to Wilberforce's +"Practical View of Christianity." Many other writers besides have +treated this subject ably and convincingly; but none other has ever been +so satisfactory to my own mind: I think it will be so to yours. I am +aware that much may be said in defence of the expediency of the +amusements to which I refer; and as there is a certainty that both of +them, or others of a similar nature, will meet with general support +until "the kingdoms of this world become the kingdoms of the Lord and of +his Christ,"[98] it is a compensatory satisfaction that they are neither +of them without their advantages to the general welfare of the country; +that good is mixed with their evil, as well as brought out of their +evil. This does not, however, serve as an excuse for those who, having +their mind and judgment enlightened to see the dangers to others and the +temptations to themselves of attending such amusements, should still +disfigure lives, it may be, in other respects, of excellence and +usefulness, by giving their time, their money, and their example to +countenance and support them. Wo to those who venture to lay their +sinful human hands upon the complicated machinery of God's providence, +by countenancing the slightest shade of moral evil, because there may be +some accompanying good! We cannot look forward to a certain result from +any action: the most virtuous one may produce effects entirely different +from those which we had anticipated; and we can then only fearlessly +leave the consequences in the hands of God, when we are sure that we +have acted in strict accordance with His will. Does it become the +servant of God voluntarily to expose herself to hear contempt and +blasphemy attached to the Holy Name and the holy things which she loves; +to see on the stage an awful mockery of prayer itself, on the +race-course the despair of the ruined gambler and the debasement of the +drunkard? The choice of the scenes you frequent now, of the company you +keep now, is of an importance involved in the very nature of things, +and not dependent alone on the expressed will of God. It is only the +pure in heart who can see God.[99] It is only those who have here +acquired a meetness for the inheritance of the saints in light[100] who +can enjoy its possession. + +It is almost entirely in this point of view that I have urged upon you +the close consideration of the permanent influences of every present +action. At your age, and with your inexperience, I know that there is an +especial aptness to deceive one's-self by considering the case of those +who, after leading a gay life for many years, have afterwards become the +most zealous and devoted servants of God. That such cases are to be met +with, is to the glory of the free grace of God: but what reason have you +to hope that you should be among this small number? Having once wilfully +chosen the pleasures of this life as your portion, on what promise do +you depend ever again to be awakened to a sense of the awful alternative +of fulfilling your baptismal vows, by renouncing the pomps and vanities +of the world, or becoming a withered branch of the vine into which you +were once grafted--a branch whose end is to be burned? + +Without urging further upon you this hackneyed, though still awful +warning, let me return once more to the peculiar point of view in which +I have, all along, considered the subject; namely, that each present act +and feeling, however momentary may be its indulgence, is an inevitable +preparation for eternity, by becoming a part of our never-dying moral +nature. You must deeply feel how much this consideration adds to the +improbability of your having any desires whatever to become the servant +of God some years hence, and how much it must increase in future every +difficulty and every unwillingness which you at present experience. + +Let us, however, suppose that God will still be merciful to you at the +last; that, after having devoted to the world during the years of your +youth that love, those energies, and those powers of mind which had been +previously vowed to his holier and happier service, he will still in +future years send you the grace of repentance; that he will effect such +a change in your heart and mind, that the world does not only become +unsatisfactory to you,--which is a very small way towards real +religion,--but that to love and serve God becomes to you the one thing +desirable above all others. Alas! it is even then, in the very hour of +redeeming mercy, of renewing grace, that your severest trials will +begin. Then first will you thoroughly experience how truly it is "an +evil thing and bitter, to forsake the Lord your God."[101] Then you will +find that every late effort at self-denial, simplicity of mind and +purpose, abstinence from worldly excitements, &c., is met, not only by +the evil instincts which belong to our nature, but by the superinduced +difficulty of opposing confirmed habits. + +Smoothly and tranquilly flows on the stream of habit, and we are unaware +of its growing strength until we try to erect an obstacle in its course, +and see this obstacle swept away by the long-accumulating power of the +current. + +In truth, all those who have wilfully added the power of evil habits to +the evil tendencies of their fallen nature must expect "to go mourning +all the days of their life." It is only to those who have served the +Lord from their youth that "wisdom's ways are ways of pleasantness, and +all her paths peace." To others, though by the grace of God they may be +finally saved, there is but a dreary prospect until the end come. They +must ever henceforth consult their safety by denying themselves many +pleasant things which the well-regulated mind of the habitually pious +may find not only safe but profitable. At the same time they sorrowfully +discover that they have lost all taste for those entirely simple +pleasures with which the path of God's obedient children is abundantly +strewn. Their path, on the contrary, is rugged, and their flowers are +few: their sun seldom shines; for they themselves have formed clouds out +of the vapours of earth, to intercept its warming and invigorating +radiance: what wonder, then, if some among them should turn it back into +the bright and sunny land of self-indulgence, now looking brighter and +more alluring than ever from its contrast with the surrounding gloom? + +Let not this dangerous risk be yours. While yet young--young in habits, +in energies, in affections, devote all to the service of the best of +masters. "The work of righteousness," even now, through difficulties, +self-denial, and anxieties, will be "peace, and the effect thereof +quietness and assurance for ever."[102] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[89] 1 Cor. viii. 13. + +[90] Matt. xviii. 6, 7. + +[91] Milnes. + +[92] Keble. + +[93] French. + +[94] James i. 12. + +[95] 1 John v. 19. + +[96] Matt. xviii. 6, 7. + +[97] Gen. iv. 9. + +[98] Rev. xi. 15. + +[99] Matt. v. 8. + +[100] Col. i. 12. + +[101] Jer. ii. 19. + +[102] Isa. xxxii. 19. + + + + +THE INFLUENCE OF WOMEN ON SOCIETY.[103] + + +"Whatever may be the customs and laws of a country, women always give +the tone to morals. Whether slaves or free, they reign, because their +empire is that of the affections. This influence, however, is more or +less salutary, according to the degree of esteem in which they are +held:--they make men what they are. It seems as though Nature had made +man's intellect depend upon their dignity, as she has made his happiness +depend upon their virtue. This, then, is the law of eternal +justice,--man cannot degrade woman without himself falling into +degradation: he cannot elevate her without at the same time elevating +himself. Let us cast our eyes over the globe! Let us observe those two +great divisions of the human race, the East and the West. Half the old +world remains in a state of inanity, under the oppression of a rude +civilization: the women there are slaves; the other advances in +equalization and intelligence: the women there are free and honoured. + +"If we wish, then, to know the political and moral condition of a +state, we must ask what rank women hold in it. Their influence embraces +the whole life. A wife,--a mother,--two magical words, comprising the +sweetest sources of man's felicity. Theirs is the reign of beauty, of +love, of reason. Always a reign! A man takes counsel with his wife; he +obeys his mother; he obeys her long after she has ceased to live, and +the ideas which he has received from her become principles stronger even +than his passions. + +"The reality of the power is not disputed; but it may be objected that +it is confined in its operation to the family circle: as if the +aggregate of families did not constitute the nation! The man carries +with him to the forum the notions which the woman has discussed with him +by the domestic hearth. His strength there realizes what her gentle +insinuations inspired. It is sometimes urged as matter of complaint that +the business of women is confined to the domestic arrangements of the +household: and it is not recollected that from the household of every +citizen issue forth the errors and prejudices which govern the world! + +"If, then, there be an incontestable fact, it is the influence of women: +an influence extended, with various modifications, through the whole of +life. Such being the case, the question arises, by what inconceivable +negligence a power of universal operation has been overlooked by +moralists, who, in their various plans for the amelioration of mankind, +have scarcely deigned to mention this potent agent. Yet evidence, +historical and parallel, proves that such negligence has lost to mankind +the most influential of all agencies. The fact of its existence cannot +be disputed; it is, therefore, of the greatest importance that its +nature should be rightly understood, and that it be directed to right +objects."[104] + +It would not be uninteresting to trace the action and reaction by which +women have degraded and been degraded--alternately the source and the +victims of mistaken social principles; but it would be foreign to the +design and compass of this work to do so. The subject, indeed, would +afford matter for a philosophical treatise of deep interest, rather than +for a chapter of a small work. A rapid historical sketch, and a few +deductions which seem to bear upon the main point, are all that can be +here attempted. + +The gospel announced on this, as on every other subject, a grand +comprehensive principle, which it was to be the work of ages (perhaps of +eternity) to develop. The rescue of this degraded half of the human race +was henceforth the ascertained will of the Almighty. But a long series +of years were to elapse before this will worked out its issues. Its +decrees, with the noble doctrines of which it formed a part, lay buried +beneath the ruins of human intellect. But they were only buried, not +destroyed; and rose, like wildflowers on a ruined edifice, to adorn the +irregularity which they could not conceal. The fantastic institutions of +chivalry which it is now the fashion to deride (how unjustly!) were +among the first scions of this plant of heavenly origin. They bore the +impress of heaven, faint and distorted indeed, but not to be mistaken! +Devotion to an ideal good,--self-sacrifice,--subjugation of selfish and +sensual feelings; wherever these principles are found, disguised, +disfigured though they be, they are not of the earth,--earthly. They, +like the fabled amaranth, are plants which are not indigenous here +below! The seeds must come from above, from the source of all that is +pure, of all that is good! Of these principles the gospel was the remote +source: women were the disseminators. "Shut up in their castellated +towers, they civilized the warriors who despised their weakness, and +rendered less barbarous the passions and prejudices which themselves +shared."[105] It was they who directed the savage passions and brute +force of men to an unselfish aim, the defence of the weak, and added to +courage the only virtue then recognised--humanity. "Thus chivalry +prepared the way for law, and civilization had its source in +gallantry."[106] + +At this epoch, the influence of women was decidedly beneficial; happy +for them and for society if it had continued to be so! If we attempt to +trace the source of this influence, we shall find it in the intellectual +equality of the two sexes; equally ignorant of what we call knowledge, +the respect due by men to virtue and beauty was not checked by any +disdain of real or fancied superiority on their part. + +The intellectual exercises (chiefly imaginative) of the time, so far +from forming a barrier between the two sexes, were a bond of union. The +song of the minstrel was devoted to the praise of beauty, and paid by +her smile. The spirit of the age, as imbodied in these effusions, is +the best proof of the beneficial influence exercised over that age by +our sex. In them, the name of woman is not associated in the degrading +catalogue of man's pleasures, with his bottle and his horse, but is +coupled with all that is fair and pure in nature,--the fields, the +birds, the flowers; or high in virtue or sentiment,--with honour, glory, +self-sacrifice. + +To the age of chivalry succeeded the revival of letters; and (strange to +say!) this revival was any thing but advantageous to the cause of women. +Men found other paths to glory than the exercise of valour afforded, and +paths into which women were forbidden to follow them. Into these +newly-discovered regions, women were not allowed to penetrate, and men +returned thence with real or affected contempt for their unintellectual +companions, without having attained true wisdom enough to know how much +they would gain by their enlightenment. + +The advance of intelligence in men not being met by a corresponding +advance in women, the latter lost their equilibrium in the social +balance. Honour, glory, were no longer attached to the smile of beauty. +The dethroned sovereigns, from being imperious, became abject, and +sought, by paltry arts, to perpetuate the empire which was no longer +conceded as a right. Influence they still possessed, but an influence +debased in its character, and changed in its mode of operation. Instead +of being the objects of devotion of heart,--fantastic, indeed, but +high-minded,--they became the mere playthings of the imagination, or +worse, the mere objects of sensual passion. Respect is the only sure +foundation of influence. Women had ceased to be respected: they +therefore ceased to be beneficially influential. That they retained +another and a worse kind of influence, may be inferred from the spirit, +as imbodied in the literature, of the period. Fiction no longer sought +its heroes among the lofty in mind and pure in morals--its heroines in +spotless virgins and faithful wives. The reckless voluptuary, the +faithless and successful adulteress,--these were the noble beings whose +deeds filled the pages which formed the delight of the wise and the +fair. The ultimate issues of these grievous errors were most strikingly +developed in the respective courts of Louis XIV. and Charles II., where +they reached their climax. The vicious influence of which we have spoken +was then at its height, and the degradation of women had brought on its +inevitable consequence, the degradation of men. With some few +exceptions, (such exceptions, indeed, prove rules!) we trace this evil +influence in the contempt of virtue, public and private; in the base +passions, the narrow and selfish views peculiar to degraded women, and +reflected on the equally degraded men whom such women could have power +to charm.[107] + +A change of opinions and of social arrangements has long been operating, +which ought entirely to have abrogated these evils. That they have not +done so is owing to a grand mistake. Women having recovered their +rights, moral and intellectual, have resumed their importance in the eye +of reason: they have long been the ornaments of society, which from them +derives its tone, and it has become too much the main object of their +education to cultivate the accomplishments which may make them such. A +twofold injury has arisen from this mistaken aim; it has blinded women +as to the true nature and end of their existence, and has excited a +spirit of worldly ambition opposed to the devoted unselfishness +necessary for its accomplishment. This is the error of the +unthinking--the reflecting have fallen into another, but not less +serious one. The coarse, but expressive satire of Luther, "That the +human mind is like an intoxicated man on horseback,--if he is set up on +one side, he falls off on the other," was never more fully justified +than on this subject. Because it is perceived that women have a dignity +and value greater than society or themselves have discovered,--because +their talents and virtues place them on a footing of equality with men, +it is maintained that their present sphere of action is too contracted a +one, and that they ought to share in the public functions of the other +sex. Equality, mental and _physical_, is proclaimed! This is matter too +ludicrous to be treated anywhere but in a professed satire; in sober +earnest, it may be asked, upon what grounds so extraordinary a doctrine +is built up! Were women allowed to act out these principles, it would +soon appear that one great range of duty had been left unprovided for in +the schemes of Providence; such an omission would be without parallel. +Two principal points only can here be brought forward, which oppose this +plan at the very outset; they are-- + +1st. Placing the two sexes in the position of rivals, instead of +coadjutors, entailing the diminution of female influence. + +2d. Leaving the important duties of woman only in the hands of that part +of the sex least able to perform them efficiently. + +The principle of divided labour seems to be a maxim of the Divine +government, as regards the creature. It is only by a concentration of +powers to one point, that so feeble a being as man can achieve great +results. Why should we wish to set aside this salutary law, and disturb +the beautiful simplicity of arrangement which has given to man the +power, and to woman the influence, to second the plans of Almighty +goodness? They are formed to be co-operators, not rivals, in this great +work; and rivals they would undoubtedly become, if the same career of +public ambition and the same rewards of success were open to both. +Woman, at present, is the regulating power of the great social machine, +retaining, through the very exclusion complained of, the power to judge +of questions by the abstract rules of right and wrong--a power seldom +possessed by those whose spirits are chafed by opposition and heated by +personal contest. + +The second resulting evil is a grave one, though, in treating of it, +also, it is difficult to steer clear of ludicrous associations. The +political career being open to women, it is natural to suppose that all +the most gifted of the sex would press forward to confer upon their +country the benefit of their services, and to reap for themselves the +distinction which such services would obtain; the duties hitherto +considered peculiar to the sex would sink to a still lower position in +public estimation than they now hold, and would be abandoned to those +least able conscientiously to fulfil them. The combination of +legislative and maternal duties would indeed be a difficult task, and, +of course, the least ostentatious would be sacrificed. + +Yet women have a mission! ay, even a political mission of immense +importance! which they will best fulfil by moving in the sphere assigned +them by Providence: not comet-like, wandering in irregular orbits, +dazzling indeed by their brilliancy, but terrifying by their eccentric +movements and doubtful utility. That the sphere in which they are +required to move is no mean one, and that its apparent contraction +arises only from a defect of intellectual vision, it is the object of +the succeeding chapters to prove. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[103] We hare come to the close of the Letters. The following pages are +quoted from writers of eminence, and bear directly upon the main subject +of "Female Education." The first quotations are from the anonymous +author of "Woman's Mission." They are of inestimable value. EDITOR. + +[104] Aimé Martin. + +[105] Aimé Martin. + +[106] Ibid. + +[107] See the Memoirs of Pepys, Evelyn, De Grammont, &c. + + + + +THE SPHERE OF WOMAN'S INFLUENCE. + + +"The fact of this influence being proved, it is of the utmost importance +that it be impressed upon the mind of women, and that they be +enlightened as to its true nature and extent." + +The task is as difficult as it is important, for it demands some +exercise of sober judgment to view it with requisite impartiality; it +requires, too, some courage to encounter the charge of inconsistency +which a faithful discharge of it entails. For it _is_ an apparent +inconsistency to recommend at the same time expansion of views and +contraction of operation; to awaken the sense of power, and to require +that the exercise of it be limited; to apply at once the spur and the +rein. That intellect is to be invigorated only to enlighten +conscience--that conscience is to be enlightened only to act on +details--that accomplishments and graces are to be cultivated only, or +chiefly, to adorn obscurity;--a list of somewhat paradoxical +propositions indeed, and hard to be received; yet, upon their favourable +reception depends, in my opinion, the usefulness of our influence, the +destinies of our race; and it is my intention to direct all my +observations to this point. + +It is astonishing and humiliating to perceive how frequently human +wisdom, especially argumentative wisdom, is at fault as to results, +while accident, prejudices, or common sense seem to light upon truths +which reason feels after without finding. It appears as though _à +priori_ reasoning, human nature being the subject, is like a skilful +piece of mechanism, carefully and scientifically put together, but which +some perverse and occult trifle will not permit to act. This is +eminently true of many questions regarding education, and precisely the +state of the argument concerning the position and duties of women. The +facts of moral and intellectual equality being established, it seems +somewhat irrational to condemn women to obscurity and detail for their +field of exertion, while men usurp the extended one of public +usefulness. And a good case may be made out on this very point. Yet the +conclusions are false and pernicious, and the prejudices which we now +smile at as obsolete are truths of nature's own imparting, only wanting +the agency of comprehensive intelligence to make them valuable, by +adapting them to the present state of society. For, as one atom of +falsehood in first principles nullifies a whole theory, so one +principle, fundamentally true, suffices to obviate many minor errors. +This fundamentally true principle, I am prepared to show, exists in the +established opinions concerning the true sphere of women, and that, +whether originally dictated by reason, or derived from a sort of +intuition, they are right, and for this cause: the one quality on which +woman's value and influence depend is the renunciation of self; and the +old prejudices respecting her inculcated self-renunciation. Educated in +obscurity, trained to consider the fulfilment of domestic duties as the +aim and end of her existence, there was little to feed the appetite for +fame, or the indulgence of self-idolatry. Now, here the principle +fundamentally bears upon the very qualities most desirable to be +cultivated, and those most desirable to be avoided. A return to the +practical part of the system is by no means to be recommended, for, with +increasing intellectual advantages, it is not to be supposed that the +perfection of the conjugal character is to consult a husband's palate +and submit to his ill-humour--or of the maternal, to administer in due +alternation the sponge and the rod. All that is contended for is, that +the fundamental principle is right--"that women were to live for +others;" and, therefore, all that we have to do is to carry out this +fundamentally right principle into wider application. It may easily be +done, if the cultivation of intellectual powers be carried on with the +same views and motives as were formerly the knowledge of domestic +duties, for the benefit of immediate relations, and for the fulfilment +of appointed duties. If society at large be benefited by such +cultivation, so much the better; but it ought to be no part of the +training of women to consider, with any personal views, what effect they +shall produce in or on society at large. The greatest benefit which they +can confer upon society is to be what they ought to be in all their +domestic relations; that is, to be what they ought to be, in all the +comprehensiveness of the term, as adapted to the present state of +society. Let no woman fancy that she can, by any exertion or services, +compensate for the neglect of her own peculiar duties as such. It is by +no means my intention to assert that women should be passive and +indifferent spectators of the great political questions which affect +the well-being of community; neither can I repeat the old adage, that +"women have nothing to do with politics." They have, and ought to have +much to do with politics. But in what way? It has been maintained that +their public participation in them would be fatal to the best interests +of society. How, then, are women to interfere in politics? As moral +agents; as representatives of the moral principle; as champions of the +right in preference to the expedient; by their endeavours to instil into +their relatives of the other sex the uncompromising sense of duty and +self-devotion, which ought to be _their_ ruling principles! The immense +influence which women possess will be most beneficial, if allowed to +flow in its natural channels, viz. domestic ones,--because it is of the +utmost importance to the existence of influence, that purity of motive +be unquestioned. It is by no means affirmed that women's political +feelings are always guided by the abstract principles of right and +wrong; but they are surely more likely to be so, if they themselves are +restrained from the public expression of them. Participation in scenes +of popular emotion has a natural tendency to warp conscience and +overcome charity. Now, conscience and charity (or love) are the very +essence of woman's beneficial influence; therefore every thing tending +to blunt the one and sour the other is sedulously to be avoided by her. +It is of the utmost importance to men to feel, in consulting a wife, a +mother, or a sister, that they are appealing _from_ their passions and +prejudices, and not _to_ them, as imbodied in a second self: nothing +tends to give opinions such weight as the certainty that the utterer of +them is free from all petty or personal motives. The beneficial +influence of woman is nullified if once her motives, or her personal +character, come to be the subject of attack; and this fact alone ought +to induce her patiently to acquiesce in the plan of seclusion from +public affairs. + +It supposes, indeed, some magnanimity in the possessors of great powers +and widely extended influence, to be willing to exercise them with +silent, unostentatious vigilance. There must be a deeper principle than +usually lies at the root of female education, to induce women to +acquiesce in the plan, which, assigning to them the responsibility, has +denied them the _éclat_ of being reformers of society. Yet it is, +probably, exactly in proportion to their reception of this truth, and +their adoption of it into their hearts, that they will fulfil their own +high and lofty mission; precisely because the manifestation of such a +spirit is the one thing needful for the regeneration of society. It is +from her being the depository and disseminator of such a spirit, that +woman's influence is principally derived. It appears to be for this end +that Providence has so lavishly endowed her with moral qualities, and, +above all, with that of love,--the antagonist spirit of selfish +worldliness, that spirit which, as it is vanquished or victorious, bears +with it the moral destinies of the world! Now, it is proverbially as +well as scripturally true, that love "seeketh not its own" interest, but +the good of others, and finds its highest honour, its highest happiness, +in so doing. This is precisely the spirit which can never be too much +cultivated by women, because it is the spirit by which their highest +triumphs are to be achieved: it is they who are called upon to show +forth its beauty, and to prove its power; every thing in their +education should tend to develop self-devotion and self-renunciation. +How far existing systems contribute to this object, it must be our next +step to inquire. + + + + +EDUCATION OF WOMEN. + + +"The education of women is more important than that of men, since that +of men is always their work."[108] + +We are now to consider how far the present systems of female education +tend to the great end here mentioned--the truth of which, reflection and +experience combine to prove. Great is the boast of the progress of +education; great would be the indignation excited by a doubt as to the +fact of this progress. "A simple question will express this doubt more +forcibly, and place this subject in a stronger light: 'Are women +qualified to educate men?' If they are not, no available progress has +been made. In the very heart of civilized Europe, are women what they +ought to be? and does not their education prove how little we know the +consequences of neglecting it?"[109] Is it possible to believe, that +upon their training depends the happiness of families--the well-being of +nations? The selfishness, political and social; the forgetfulness of +patriotism; the unregulated tempers and low ambition of the one sex, +testify but too clearly how little has been done by the vaunted +education of the other. For education is useless, or at least neutral, +if it do not bear upon duty, as well as upon cultivation, if it do not +expand the soul, while it enlightens the intellect. + +How far expansion of soul, or enlightenment of intellect, is to be +expected from the present systems of female education, we have seen in +effects,--let us now go back to causes. + +It is unnecessary to start from the prejudice of ignorance; it is now +universally acknowledged that women have a right to education, and that +they must be educated. We smile with condescending pity at the blinded +state of our respected grandmothers, and thank God that we are not as +they, with a thanksgiving as uncalled for as that of the proud Pharisee. +On abstract ground, their education was better than ours; it was a +preparation for their future duties. It does not affect the question, +that their notion of these duties was entirely confined to the physical +comfort of husbands and children. The defect of the scheme, as has been +argued, was not in rationality, but in comprehensiveness,--a +fundamentally right principle being the basis, it is easy to extend the +application of it indefinitely. + +Indiscriminate blame, however, is as invidious as it is useless; if the +fault-finder be not also the fault-mender, the exercise of his powers +is, at best, but a negative benefit. Let us, therefore, enter into a +calm examination of the two principal ramifications, into which +education has insensibly divided itself, as far as the young women of +our own country are concerned; bearing in mind that women can only +exercise their true influence, inasmuch as they are free from +worldly-mindedness and egotism, and that, therefore, no system of +education can be good which does not tend to subdue the selfish and +bring out the unselfish principle. The systems alluded to are these:-- + +1st. The education of accomplishments for shining in society. + +2d. Intellectual education, or that of the mental powers. + +What are the objects of either? To prepare the young for life; its +subsequent trials; its weighty duties; its inevitable termination? We +will examine the principles on which both these educations are made to +work, and see whether, or how far, they have any relation to those most +called for, by the future and presumed duties of the educated. The +worldly and the intellectual, alternately objects of contempt to each +other, are equally objects of pity to the wise, as mistaken in their +end, and deceived as to the means of attaining that end. + +The education of accomplishments, (especially as conducted in this +country,) would be a risible, if it were not a painful subject of +contemplation. Intense labour; immense sums of money; hours, nay, days +of valuable time! What a list of sacrifices! Now for results. Of the +many who thus sacrifice time, health, and property, how few attain even +a moderate proficiency. The love of beauty, the power of self-amusement +(if obtained) might, in some degree, justify these sacrifices; they are +valuable ends in themselves, still more valuable from contingent +advantages. There is a deep influence hidden under these beautiful +arts,--an influence far deeper than the world in its thoughtlessness, or +the worldly student in his vanity, ever can know,--an influence +refining, consoling, elevating: they afford a channel into which the +lofty aspirings, the unsatisfied yearnings of the pure and elevated in +soul may pour themselves. The perception of the beautiful is, next to +the love of our fellow-creatures, the most purely unselfish of all our +natural emotions, and is, therefore, a most powerful engine in the hands +of those who regard selfishness as the giant passion, whose castle must +be stormed before any other conquest can be begun, and in vanquishing +whom all lawful and innocent weapons should, by turns, be employed. + +Let us consider how we employ this mighty ally of virtue and loftiness +of soul. Into the cultivation of the arts, disguised under the hackneyed +name of accomplishments, does one particle of intellectuality creep? +Would not many of their ablest professors and most diligent +practitioners stare, with unfeigned wonder, at the supposition, that the +five hours per diem devoted to the piano and the easel had any other +object than to accomplish the fingers? The idea of their influencing the +head would be ridiculous! of their improving the heart, preposterous! +Yet if both head and heart do not combine in these pursuits, how can the +cultivators justify to themselves the devotion of time and labour to +their acquisition: time and labour, in many cases, abstracted from the +performance of present, or preparation for future duties,--this is +especially applicable to the middle classes of society. + +Let us now turn to the issues of this education! The accomplishments +acquired at such cost must be displayed. To whom? the possessor has no +delight in them,--her immediate relatives, perhaps, no taste for +them;--to strangers, therefore. It is not necessary to make many +strictures on this subject; the rage for universal exhibition has been +written and talked down: in fact, there are great hopes for the world +in this particular; it has descended so low in the scale of society, +that we trust it will soon be exploded altogether. The fashion, +therefore, need not be here treated of, but the spirit which it has +engendered, and which will survive its parent. This, as influencing the +female character--especially the maternal--bears greatly upon the point +in view;--to live for the applause of the foolish _many_, instead of the +approbation of the well-judging _few_; to rule duty, conscience, morals, +by a low worldly standard; to view worldly admiration as the aim, and +worldly aggrandizement as the end of life; these are a few,--a very few, +indications of this spirit, and these have infected every rank, from the +highest to the middle and lower classes of society. To every thing +gentle or refined, to every thing lofty or dignified in the female +character, this spirit is utterly opposed. Refinement would teach to +shun the vulgar applause which almost insults its object,--dignity would +shrink from displaying before heartless crowds those emotions of the +soul, without which all art is vulgar,--and how can women, who have +neither refinement nor dignity, retail that influence which, rightly +used, is to be so great an engine in the regeneration of society? How +can the vain and selfish exhibitor of paltry acquirements ever mature +into the mother of the Gracchi, the tutelary guardian of the rising +virtues of the commonwealth? It is in vain to hope it. + +Before making any strictures on intellectual education, it is necessary +to enter into a short explanation; for it is not denied that +rightly-cultivated mental power is a great good. The kind of cultivation +which is here decried is open to the same objections as the last +mentioned. It is the cultivation of power, with a view, not to the +happiness of the individual, but to her fame; not to her usefulness, but +to her brilliancy. We have only to look round society, and see that +intellect has its vanity as well as beauty or accomplishments, and that +its effects are more mischievous. It has a hardening, deadening kind of +influence; the more so, that the so-called mental cultivation frequently +consists only of a pedantic heaping up of information, valuable indeed +in itself, but wanting the principle of combination to make it useful. +Stones and bricks are valuable things, very valuable; but they are not +beautiful or useful till the hand of the architect has given them a +form, and the cement of the bricklayer has knit them together. It is a +fine expression of Miss Edgeworth, in speaking of the mind of one of her +heroines, "that the stream of literature had passed over it was apparent +only from its fertility." Intellectual cultivation was too long +considered as education, properly so called. The mischief which this +error has produced, is exactly in proportion to the increase of power +thereby communicated to wrong principles. + +What, then, is the true object of female education? The best answer to +this question is, a statement of future duties; for it must never be +forgotten, that if education be not a training for future duties, it is +nothing. The ordinary lot of woman is to marry. Has any thing in these +educations prepared her to make a wise choice in marriage? To be a +mother! Have the duties of maternity,--the nature of moral +influence,--been pointed out to her? Has she ever been enlightened as +to the consequent unspeakable importance of personal character as the +source of influence? In a word, have any means, direct or indirect, +prepared her for her duties? No! but she is a linguist, a pianist, +graceful, admired. What is that to the purpose? The grand evil of such +an education is the mistaking means for ends; a common error, and the +source of half the moral confusion existing in the world. It is the +substitution of the part for a whole. The time when young women enter +upon life, is the one point to which all plans of education tend, and at +which they all terminate: and to prepare them for that point is the +object of their training. Is it not cruel to lay up for them a store of +future wretchedness, by an education which has no period in view but +one; a very short one, and the most unimportant and irresponsible of the +whole of life? Who that had the power of choice would choose to buy the +admiration of the world for a few short years with the happiness of a +whole life? the temporary power to dazzle and to charm, with the growing +sense of duties undertaken only to be neglected, and responsibilities +the existence of which is discovered perhaps simultaneously with that of +an utter inability to meet them? Even if the mischief stopped here, it +would be sufficiently great; but the craving appetite for applause once +roused, is not so easily lulled again. The moral energies, pampered by +unwholesome nourishment,--like the body when disordered by luxurious +dainties,--refuse to perform their healthy functions, and thus is +occasioned a perpetual strife and warfare of internal principles; the +selfish principle still seeking the accustomed gratification, the +conjugal and maternal prompting to the performance of duty. But duty is +a cold word; and people, in order to find pleasure in duty, must have +been trained to consider their duties as pleasures. This is a truth at +which no one arrives by inspiration! And in this moral struggle, which, +like all other struggles, produces lassitude and distaste of all things, +the happiness of the individual is lost, her usefulness destroyed, her +influence most pernicious. For nothing has so injurious an effect on +temper and manners, and consequently on moral influence, as the want of +that internal quiet which can only arise from the accordance of duty +with inclination. Another most pernicious effect is, the deadening +within the heart of the feeling of love, which is the root of all +influence; for it is an extraordinary fact, that vanity acts as a sort +of refrigerator on all men--on the possessor of it, and on the observer. + +Now, if conscientiousness and unselfishness be the two main supports of +women's beneficial influence, how can any education be good which has +not the cultivation of these qualities for its first and principal +object? The grand objects, then, in the education of women, ought to be, +the conscience, the heart, and the affections; the development of those +moral qualities which Providence has so liberally bestowed upon them, +doubtless with a wise and beneficent purpose. Originators of +conscientiousness, how can they implant what they have never cultivated, +nor brought to maturity in themselves? Sovereigns of the affections, how +can they direct the kingdom whose laws they have not studied, the +springs of whose government are concealed from them? The conscience and +the affections being primarily enlightened, all other cultivation, as +secondary, is most valuable. Intelligence, accomplishments, even +external elegance, become objects of importance, as assisting the +influence which women have, and exert too often for unworthy ends, but +which in this case could not fail to be beneficial. Let the light of +intellect and the charm of accomplishments be the willing handmaids of +cultivated and enlightened conscience. Cultivate the intellect with +reference to the conscience, that views of duty may be comprehensive, as +well as just; cultivate the imagination still with reference to the +conscience, that those inward aspirations which all indulge, more or +less, may be turned from the gauds of an idle and vain imagination, and +shed over daily life and daily duty the halo of a poetic influence; +cultivate the manners, that the qualities of heart and head may have an +additional auxiliary in obtaining that influence by which a mighty +regeneration is to be worked. The issues of such an education will +justify the claims made for women in these pages; then the spirit of +vanity will yield to the spirit of self-devotion: that spirit +confessedly natural to Women, and only perverted by wrong education. +Content with the sphere of usefulness assigned her by Nature and +Nature's God, viewing that sphere with the piercing eye of intellect, +and gilding it with the beautiful colours of the imagination, she will +cease the vain and almost impious attempt to wander from it. She will +see and acknowledge the beauty, the harmony of the arrangement which has +made her physical inferiority (the only inferiority which we +acknowledge) the very root from which spring her virtues and their +attendant influences. Removed from the actual collision of political +contests, and screened from the passions which such engender, she brings +party questions to the test of the unalterable principles of reason and +religion; she is, so to speak, the guardian angel of man's political +integrity, liable at the best to be warped by passion or prejudice, and +excited by the rude clashing of opinions and interests. This is the true +secret of woman's political influence, the true object of her political +enlightenment. Governments will never be perfect till all distinction +between private and public virtue, private and public honour, be done +away! Who so fit an agent for the operation of this change as +enlightened, unselfish woman? Who so fit, in her twofold capacity of +companion and early instructor, to teach men to prefer honour to gain, +duty to ease, public to private interests, and God's work to man's +inventions? And shall it be said that women have no political existence, +no political influence, when the very germs of political regeneration +may spring from them alone, when the fate of nations yet unborn may +depend upon the use which they make of the mighty influences committed +to their care? The blindness which sees not how these influences would +be lessened by taking her out of the sphere assigned by Providence, if +voluntary, is wicked--if real, is pitiable. As well might we desire the +earth's beautiful satellite to give place to a second sun, thereby +producing the intolerable and glaring continuity of perpetual day. Those +who would be the agents of Providence must observe the workings of +Providence, and be content to work also in that way, and by those means, +which Almighty wisdom appoints. There is infinite littleness in +despising small things. It seems paradoxical to say that there are no +small things; our littleness and our aspiration make things appear +small. There are, morally speaking, no small duties. Nothing that +influences human virtue and happiness can be really trifling,--and what +more influences them than the despised, because limited, duties assigned +to woman? It is true, her reward (her task being done) is not of this +world, nor will she wish it to be--enough for her to be one of the most +active and efficient agents in her heavenly Father's work of man's +regeneration,--enough for her that generations yet unborn shall rise up +and call her blessed. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[108] Aimé Martin. + +[109] Ibid. + + + + +LOVE--MARRIAGE. + + +The conventual and monastic origin of all systems of education has had a +very injurious influence, on that of women especially, because the +conventual spirit has been longer retained in it. + +If no education be good which does not bear upon the future duties of +the educated, it follows that the systematic exclusion of any one +subject connected with, or bearing upon, future duties, must be an evil. +The wisdom of employing those who had renounced the world to form the +minds of those who were to mix in it, to be exposed in all its +allurements, to share in all its duties, was doubtful indeed; and the +danger was enhanced by the fact, that the majority of recluses were any +thing but indifferent to the world which they had renounced. The convent +was too often the refuge of disappointed worldliness, the grave of +blasted hopes, or the prison of involuntary victims; a withering +atmosphere this in which to place warm young hearts, and expect them to +expand and flourish. The evil effects would be varied according to the +different characters submitted to its influence. The sensitive entered +upon life oppressed with fears and terrors; with a conscience morbid, +not enlightened; bewildered by the impossibility of reconciling +principles and duties. The ardent and sanguine, longing to escape from +restraint, pictured to themselves, in these unknown and untried +regions, delights infinite and unvaried; and, seeing the incompatibility +of inculcated principles and worldly pleasures, discarded principle +altogether. It is needless to pursue this subject further, because a +universal assent will (in this country, at least,) await the remarks +here made; their applicability to what follows may not at first be so +apparent. The conventual spirit has survived conventual +institutions,--in the department of female education especially. + +In the first place, the instructors of female youth are considered +respectable and trustworthy only in proportion as they cease to be +young, or at least in proportion as they appear to forget that they ever +were so. Any touch of sympathy for the follies of childhood, or the +indiscretions of youth, would blast the prospects of a candidate for +that honourable office, and, in the opinion of many, render her unfit +for its fulfilment. The unfitness is attached to the opposite +disposition; for the very fact of its existence is as effectual an +obstacle to her being a good trainer of youth, as if she had taken a vow +never to see the world but through an iron grating. Experience can never +benefit youth, except when combined with indulgence. The instructor who, +from the heights of past temptations and subdued passion, looks down +with cool watchfulness on the struggles of his youthful pupil, will see +him lie floundering in the mire, or perishing in the deep water. He must +retrace his own steps, take him by the hand, and sustain him, till he is +passed the dangerous and slippery paths of youth. He must become as a +little child to the young and frail being committed to his care, and +whose welfare and safety depend (in great measure) upon him. A cold and +unloving admiration never will produce imitation: it is like the +hopeless love of poor Helena:-- + + 'Twere all as one as I should love a bright particular star! + +Here, then, the conventual spirit has been in injurious operation;--no +less so on other points. + +This conventual prejudice has banished from our school-rooms the name of +love, and presented to their youthful inmates fragments instead of +books, cramped and puny publications instead of the works of +master-spirits, lest the mind should be contaminated by any allusion to +that passion contained in them. The wisdom of such a proceeding is much +upon a par with that which devoted the feet to stocks and the shoulders +to backboards, in order to make them elegant, and denied them heaven's +air and active exercise through care for their health. The result, in +the one case as in the other, is disease and distortion. Nature will +assert her rights over the beings she has made; and she avenges, by the +production of deformity, all attempts to force or shackle her +operations. The golden globe could not check the expansive force of +water; equally useless is it to attempt any check on the expansive force +of mind,--it will ooze out! We ought long ago to have been convinced +that the only power allowed to us is the power of direction. If one-half +the amount of effort expanded to useless endeavours to cramp and check, +had been turned towards this channel, how different would be the +results! It is true that it is easier to check than to guide,--to fetter +than to restrain; and that to attempt to remove evil by the +first-occurring remedy is a natural impulse. But a pause should by made, +lest in applying the remedy a worse evil be not engendered. Distorted +spines and "pale consumptions," the result of the one mistake, are +trifling evils, when compared with the moral evils resulting from the +other. For if, as is affirmed, no education can be good which does not +bear upon future duties, how can that be wise which keeps love and its +temptations, maternity and its responsibilities, out of view? Who would +believe that this love, so denounced, so guarded against, so carefully +banished from the minds of young women, is the one principle on which +their future happiness may be founded or wrecked? It is sure to seek +them, (most of them, at least,) like death in the fable, to find them +unprepared,--too often to leave them wretched. + +Meanwhile, these exaggerated precautions in the education of one sex +have been met by equally fatal negligence in the education of the other; +and while to girls have been denied the very thoughts of love,--even in +its noblest and purest form,--the most effeminate and corrupt +productions of the heathen writers have been unhesitatingly laid open to +boys; so that the two sexes, on whose respective notions of the passion +depends the ennobling or the degrading of their race, meet on these +terms:--the men know nothing of love but what they have imbibed from an +impure and polluted source; the women, nothing at all, or nothing but +what they have clandestinely gathered from sources almost equally +corrupt. The deterioration of any feeling must follow from such +injudicious training, more especially a feeling so susceptible as love +of assuming such differing aspects. + +Let no sober-minded person be startled at the deductions hence drawn, +that it is foolish to banish all thoughts of love from the minds of the +young. Since it is certain that girls will think, though they may not +read or speak, of love; and that no early care can preserve them from +being exposed, at a later period, to its temptations, might it not be +well to use here the directing, not the repressing power? Since women +will love, might it not be as well to teach them to love wisely? Where +is the wisdom of letting the combatant go unarmed into the field, in +order to spare him the prospect of a combat? Are not women made to love, +and to be loved: and does not their future destiny too often depend upon +this passion? And yet the conventual prejudice which banishes its name +subsists still. + +"Mothers forget, in presence of their children, all the dangers with +which this prejudice has surrounded themselves; the illusions which +arise from that ignorance, and the weakness which springs from those +illusions. To open the minds of the young to the nature of true love, is +to arm them against the frivolous passions which usurp its name, for in +exalting the faculties of the soul, we annihilate, in a great degree, +the delusions of the senses."[110] + +Examine the first choice of a young girl. Of all the qualities which +please her in a lover, there is, perhaps, not one which is valuable in a +husband. Is not this the most complete condemnation of all our systems +of education? From the fear of too much agitating the heart, we hide +from women all that is worthy of love, all the depth and dignity of that +passion when felt for a worthy object;--their eye is captivated, the +exterior pleases, the heart and mind are not known, and, after six +months union, they are surprised to find the beau ideal metamorphosed +into a fool or a coxcomb. This is the issue of what are ordinarily +called love-matches, because they are considered as such. "Cupid is +indeed often blamed for deeds in which he has no share." In the opinion +of the wise, the mischief is occasioned by the action of vivid +imaginations upon minds unprepared by previous reflection on the +subject; that is, by the entire banishment of all thoughts of love from +education. We should endeavour, then, to engrave on the soul a model of +virtue and excellence, and teach young women to regulate their +affections by an approximation to this model; the result would not be an +increased facility in giving the affections, but a greater difficulty in +so doing; for women, whose blindness and ignorance now make them the +victims of fancied perfections, would be able to make a clear-sighted +appreciation of all that is excellent, and have an invincible repugnance +to an union not founded upon that basis. Love, in the common acceptation +of the term, is a folly,--love, in its purity, its loftiness, its +unselfishness, is not only a consequence, but a proof of our moral +excellence,--the sensibility to moral beauty, the forgetfulness of self +in the admiration engendered by it, all prove its claim to be a high +moral influence; it is the triumph of the unselfish over the selfish +part of our nature.[111] + +What is meant by educating young women to love wisely is simply this, +that they be taught to distinguish true love from the false spirit which +usurps its name and garb; that they be taught to abstract from it the +worldliness, vanity, and folly, with which it has been mixed up. They +should be taught that it is not to be the amusement of an idle hour; the +indulgence of a capricious and greedy vanity; the ladder, by the +assistance of which they may climb a few steps higher in the grades of +society; in short, that except it owe its origin to the noble qualities +of heart and mind, it is nothing but a contemptible weakness, to be +pitied perhaps, but not to be indulged or admired. + +When the might influence of this passion is considered, the important +relations and weighty responsibilities to which it gives rise, we have +reason to be astonished at the levity with which the subject is treated +by the world at large, and the unconsciousness and indifference with +which those responsibilities are assumed. It is like the madman who +flings about firebrands and calls it sport. The remedy for this evil +must begin with the sex who have in their hands that powerful influence, +the liberty of rejection. Let them not complain that liberty of choice +is not theirs; it would only increase their responsibilities without +adding to their happiness or to their usefulness. The liberty which they +do possess is amply sufficient to insure for them the power of being +benefactors of mankind. As soon as the noble and elevated of our sex +shall refuse to unite on any but moral and intellectual grounds with the +other, so soon will a mighty regeneration begin to be effected: and this +end will, perhaps, be better served by the simple liberty of rejection +than by liberty of choice. Rejection is never inflicted without pain; it +is never received without humiliation, however unfounded, (for simply to +want the power of pleasing can be no disgrace;) but in the existence of +this conventional feeling we find the source of a deep influence. If +women would, as by one common league and covenant, agree to use this +powerful engine in defence of morals, what a change might they not +effect in the tone of society! Is it not a subject that ought to crimson +every woman's cheek with shame, that the want of moral qualifications is +generally the very last cause of rejection? If the worldly find the +wealth, and the intellectual the intelligence, which they seek in a +companion, there are few who will not shut their eyes in wilful and +convenient blindness to the want of such qualifications. It is a fatal +error which has bound up the cause of affection so intimately with +worldly considerations; and it is a growing evil. The increasing demands +of luxury in a highly civilized community operate most injuriously on +the cause of disinterested affections, and particularly so in the case +of women, who are generally precluded from maintaining or advancing +their place in society by any other schemes than matrimonial ones. I +might say something here on the cruelty of that conventional prejudice +which shackles the independence of women, by attaching the loss of +caste to almost all, nay, all, of the very few sources of pecuniary +emolument open to them. It requires great strength of principle to +disregard this prejudice; and while urged by duty to inveigh against +mercenary unions, I feel some compunction at the thoughts of the +numerous class who are in a manner forced by this prejudice into forming +them. But there are too many who have no such excuse, and to them the +remaining observations are addressed. The sacred nature of the conjugal +relation is entirely merged in the worldly aspect of it. That union +sacred, indissoluble, fraught with all that earth has to bestow of +happiness or misery, is entered upon much of the plan and principle of a +partnership account in mercantile affairs--each bringing his or her +quantum of worldly possessions--and often with even less inquiry as to +moral qualities than persons so situated would make; God's ordinances +are not to be so mocked, and such violations of his laws are severely +visited upon offenders against them. It would be laughable, if it were +not too melancholy, to see beings bound by the holiest ties, who ought +to be the sharers in the most sacred duties--united, perhaps, but in one +aim, and _that_ to secure from a world which cares not for them, a few +atoms more of external observance and attention: to this noble aim +sacrificing their own ease and comfort, and the future prospects of +those dependent on them. If half the sacrifice thus made to the +imperious demands of fashion, (and which is received with the +indifference it deserves,) were exerted in a good cause, what benefits +might it not produce? + +While women are thus content to sacrifice delicacy, affection, +principle, to the desire of worldly establishment or aggrandizement, how +is the regeneration of society to be expected from them? Formerly, too, +this spirit was confined to the old, hackneyed in the ways of the world, +and who, having worn out the trifling affections which they ever had, +would subject those of their children to the maxims of worldly prudence. +This we learn from fiction and the drama, where the worldly wisdom of +age is always represented as opposed to the generous but imprudent +passions of youth. But now, in these our better and more enlightened +days, those mercenary maxims which were odious even in age, are found in +the mouths of the young and the fair,--or at least, if not in their +mouths, in their actions. To sacrifice affection to interest is a +praiseworthy thing. It is fearful to hear the withering sneer with which +that folly, love, is spoken of by young and innocent lips--a sneer of +conscious superiority, too! It is a superiority not to be envied, and +which makes them objects of greater pity than those whom they affect to +despise. There is no subject so sacred that it has not a side open to +ridicule, and all the most pure and noble attributes of our nature may +be converted into subjects for a jest, by minds in which no lofty idea +can find an echo. All notions of unworldly and unselfish attachment are +branded with the name of romantic follies, unworthy of sensible persons; +and the idealities of love, like all other idealities, are fast +disappearing beneath the leaden mantle of expediency. + +The reform must begin here, as in all great moral questions, with the +arbiters of morals--those from whom morals take their tone--women. That +we have no right to expect it to begin with the other sex, may be +proved even by a vulgar aphorism. It is often triumphantly said, that "a +man may marry when he will--a woman must marry when she can." How keen a +satire upon both sexes is couched in this homely proverb! and how long +will they consent not only patiently to acquiesce in its truth, but to +prove it by their actions? That women may be able thus to reform +society, it is of importance that conscience be educated on this subject +as on every other; educated, too, before the tinsel of false romance +deceive the eye, or the frost of worldly-mindedness congeal the heart of +youth. It seems to me that this object would best be effected, not by +avoiding the subject of love, but by treating it, when it arises, with +seriousness and simplicity, as a feeling which the young may one day be +called upon to excite and to return, but which can have no existence in +the lofty in soul and pure in heart, except when called forth by +corresponding qualities in another. Such training as this would be a far +more effectual preventive of foolish passions, than cramping the +intellect in narrow ignorance, and excluding all knowledge of what life +is--in order to prepare people for entering upon it: a plan about as +wise in itself, and as successful as to results, as the bolts, bars, and +duennas of a Spanish play. Outward, substituted for inward, restraints +are sure to act upon man mentally, as actual bonds do physically; he +only wants to get free from them. Noble and virtuous principles in the +heart will not fail to direct the conduct aright, and it is to transfer +these things from matters of decorum or expediency, to matters of +conscience, that we should use our most earnest endeavours. Above all, +it is incumbent upon those who have the training of the young--of women +especially--so to imbue their souls with lofty and conscientious +principles of action, that they may be alike unwilling to deceive, or +liable to be deceived; that they may not be led as fools or as victims +into those responsible relations, for the consequences of which, (how +momentous!) to themselves, to others, and to society at large, they are +answerable to a God of infinite wisdom and justice. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[110] Aimé Martin. + +[111] It is Coleridge who speaks of the "unselfishness of love," in one +of the volumes of his "Remains." + + + + +LITERARY CAPABILITIES OF WOMEN. + +BY LORD JEFFREY. + + +Women, we fear, cannot do every thing; nor every thing they attempt. But +what they can do, they do, for the most part, excellently--and much more +frequently with an absolute and perfect success, than the aspirants of +our rougher and ambitious sex. They cannot, we think, represent +naturally the fierce and sullen passions of men--nor their coarser +vices--nor even scenes of actual business or contention--nor the mixed +motives, and strong and faulty characters, by which affairs of moment +are usually conducted on the great theatre of the world. For much of +this they are disqualified by the delicacy of their training and habits, +and the still more disabling delicacy which pervades their conceptions +and feelings; and from much they are excluded by their necessary +inexperience of the realities they might wish to describe--by their +substantial and incurable ignorance of business--of the way in which +serious affairs are actually managed--and the true nature of the agents +and impulses that give movement and direction to the stronger currents +of ordinary life. Perhaps they are also incapable of long moral or +political investigations, where many complex and indeterminate elements +are to be taken into account, and a variety of opposite probabilities to +be weighed before coming to a conclusion. They are generally too +impatient to get at the ultimate results, to go well through with such +discussions; and either stop short at some imperfect view of the truth, +or turn aside to repose in the shade of some plausible error. This, +however, we are persuaded, arises entirely from their being seldom set +on such tedious tasks. Their proper and natural business is the +practical regulation of private life, in all its bearings, affections, +and concerns; and the questions with which they have to deal in that +most important department, though often of the utmost difficulty and +nicety, involve, for the most part, but few elements; and may generally +be better described as delicate than intricate;--requiring for their +solution rather a quick tact and fine perception, than a patient or +laborious examination. For the same reason, they rarely succeed in long +works, even on subjects the best suited to their genius; their natural +training rendering them equally averse to long doubt and long labour. + +For all other intellectual efforts, however, either of the understanding +or the fancy, and requiring a thorough knowledge either of man's +strength or his weakness, we apprehend them to be, in all respects, as +well qualified as their perceptions of grace, propriety, ridicule--their +power of detecting artifice, hypocrisy, and affectation--the force and +promptitude of their sympathy, and their capacity of noble and devoted +attachment, and of the efforts and sacrifices it may require, they are, +beyond all doubt, our superiors. + +Their business being, as we have said, with actual or social life, and +the colours it receives from the conduct and dispositions of +individuals, they unconsciously acquire, at a very early age, the +finest perception of character and manners, and are almost as soon +instinctively schooled in the deep and more dangerous learning of +feeling and emotion; while the very minuteness with which they make and +meditate on these interesting observations, and the finer shades and +variations of sentiment which are thus treasured and recorded, train +their whole faculties to a nicety and precision of operation, which +often discloses itself to advantage in their application to studies of a +different character. When women, accordingly, have turned their +minds--as they have done but too seldom--to the exposition or +arrangement of any branch of knowledge, they have commonly exhibited, we +think, a more beautiful accuracy, and a more uniform and complete +justness of thinking, than their less discriminating brethren. There is +a finish and completeness, in short, about every thing they put out of +their hands, which indicates not only an inherent taste for elegance and +neatness, but a habit of nice observation, and singular exactness of +judgement. + +It has been so little the fashion, at any time, to encourage women to +write for publication, that it is more difficult than it should be, to +prove these truths by examples. Yet there are enough, within the reach +of a very careless and superficial glance over the open field of +literature, to enable us to explain, at least, and illustrate, if not +entirely to verify, our assertions. No _man_, we will venture to say, +could have written the Letters of Madame de Sevigné, or the Novels of +Miss Austin, or the Hymns and Early Lessons of Mrs. Barbauld, or the +Conversations of Mrs. Marcet. Those performance, too, are not only +essentially and intensely feminine; but they are, in our judgment, +decidedly more perfect than any masculine productions with which they +can be brought into comparison. They accomplish more completely all the +ends at which they aim; and are worked out with a gracefulness and +felicity of execution which excludes all idea of failure, and entirely +satisfies the expectations they may have raised. We might easily have +added to these instances. There are many parts of Miss Edgeworth's +earlier stories, and of Miss Mitford's sketches and descriptions, and +not a little of Mrs. Opie's, that exhibit the same fine and penetrating +spirit of observations, the same softness and delicacy of hand, and +unerring truth of delineation, to which we have alluded as +characterizing the purer specimens of female art. The same +distinguishing traits of woman's spirit are visible through the grief +and piety of Lady Russel, and the gayety, the spite, and the +venturesomeness of Lady Mary Wortley. We have not as yet much female +poetry; but there is a truly feminine tenderness, purity, and elegance +in the Psyche of Mrs. Tighe, and in some of the smaller pieces of Lady +Craven. On some of the works of Madame de Staël--her Corinne +especially--there is a still deeper stamp of the genius of her sex. Her +pictures of its boundless devotedness--its depth and capacity of +suffering--its high aspirations--its painful irritability, and +inextinguishable thirst for emotion, are powerful specimens of that +morbid anatomy of the heart, which no hand but that of a woman's was +fine enough to have laid open, or skilful enough to have recommended to +our sympathy and love. There is the same exquisite and inimitable +delicacy, if not the same power, in many of the happier passages of +Madame de Souza and Madame Cottin--to say nothing of the more lively and +yet melancholy records of Madame de Staël, during her long penance in +the court of the Duchesse de Maine. + +We think the poetry of Mrs. Hemans a fine exemplification of Female +Poetry--and we think it has much of the perfection which we have +ventured to ascribe to the happier productions of female genius. + +It may not be the best imaginable poetry, and may not indicate the very +highest or most commanding genius; but it embraces a great deal of that +which gives the very best poetry its chief power of pleasing; and would +strike us, perhaps, as more impassioned and exalted, if it were not +regulated and harmonized by the most beautiful taste. It is singularly +sweet, elegant, and tender--touching, perhaps, and contemplative, rather +than vehement and overpowering; and not only finished throughout with an +exquisite delicacy, and even severity of execution, but infused with a +purity and loftiness of feeling, and a certain sober and humble tone of +indulgence and piety, which must satisfy all judgments, and allay the +apprehensions of those who are most afraid of the passionate +exaggerations of poetry. The diction is always beautiful, harmonious, +and free--and the themes, though of great variety, uniformly treated +with a grace, originality, and judgment, which mark the same master +hand. These themes she has occasionally borrowed, with the peculiar +imagery that belongs to them, from the legends of different nations, and +the most opposite states of society; and has contrived to retain much +of what is interesting and peculiar in each of them, without adopting, +along with it, any of the revolting or extravagant excesses which may +characterize the taste or manners of the people or the age from which it +has been derived. She has transfused into her German or Scandinavian +legends the imaginative and daring tone of the originals, without the +mystical exaggerations of the one, or the painful fierceness and +coarseness of the other--she has preserved the clearness and elegance of +the French, without their coldness or affectation--and the tenderness +and simplicity of the early Italians, without their diffuseness or +languor. Though occasionally expatiating, somewhat fondly and at large, +among the sweets of her own planting, there is, on the whole, a great +condensation and brevity in most of her pieces, and, almost without +exception, a most judicious and vigorous conclusion. The great merit, +however, of her poetry, is undoubtedly in its tenderness and its +beautiful imagery. The first requires no explanation; but we must be +allowed to add a word as to the peculiar charm and character of the +latter. + +It has always been our opinion, that the very essence of poetry--apart +from the pathos, the wit, or the brilliant description which may be +imbodied in it, but may exist equally in prose--consists in the fine +perception and vivid expression of the subtle and mysterious analogy +which exists between the physical and the moral world--which makes +outward things and qualities the natural types and emblems of inward +gifts and emotions, or leads us to ascribe life and sentiment to every +thing that interests us in the aspects of external nature. The feeling +of this analogy, obscure and inexplicable as the theory of it may be, is +so deep and universal in our nature, that it has stamped itself on the +ordinary language of men of every kindred and speech: that to such an +extent, that one-half of the epithets by which we familiarly designate +moral and physical qualities, are in reality so many metaphors, borrowed +reciprocally, upon this analogy, from those opposite forms of +expression. The very familiarity, however, of the expression, in these +instances, takes away its political effect--and indeed, in substance, +its metaphorical character. The original sense of the word is entirely +forgotten in the derivative one to which it has succeeded; and it +requires some etymological recollection to convince us that it was +originally nothing else than a typical or analogical illustration. Thus +we talk of a sparkling wit, and a furious blast--a weighty argument, and +a gentle stream--without being at all aware that we are speaking in the +language of poetry, and transferring qualities from one extremity of the +sphere of being to another. In these cases, accordingly, the metaphor, +by ceasing to be felt, in reality ceases to exist, and the analogy being +no longer intimated, of course can produce no effect. But whenever it is +intimated, it does produce an effect; and that effect we think is +poetry. + +It has substantially two functions, and operates in two directions. In +the _first_ place, when material qualities are ascribed to mind, it +strikes vividly out, and brings at once before us, the conception of an +inward feeling or emotion, which it might otherwise have been difficult +to convey, by the presentiment of some bodily form or quality, which is +instantly felt to be its true representative, and enables us to fix and +comprehend it with a force and clearness not otherwise attainable; and, +in the _second_ place, it vivifies dead and inanimate matter with the +attributes of living and sentient mind, and fills the whole visible +universe around us with objects of interest and sympathy, by tinting +them with the hues of life, and associating them with our own passions +and affections. This magical operation the poet too performs, for the +most part, in one of two ways--either by the direct agency of similies +and metaphors, more or less condensed or developed, or by the mere +graceful presentment of such visible objects on the scene of his +passionate dialogues or adventures, as partake of the character of the +emotion he wishes to excite, and thus form an appropriate accompaniment +or preparation for its direct indulgence or display. The former of those +methods has perhaps been most frequently employed, and certainly has +most attracted attention. But the latter, though less obtrusive, and +perhaps less frequently resorted to of set purpose, is, we are inclined +to think, the most natural and efficacious of the two; and it is often +adopted, we believe unconsciously, by poets of the highest order;--the +predominant emotion of their minds overflowing spontaneously on all the +objects which present themselves to their fancy, and calling out from +them, and colouring with their own hues, those that are naturally +emblematic of its character, and in accordance with its general +expression. It would be easy to show how habitually this is done, by +Shakspeare and Milton especially, and how much many of their finest +passages are indebted, both for force and richness of effect, to this +general and diffusive harmony of the external character of their scenes +with the passions of their living agents--this harmonizing and +appropriate glow with which they kindle the whole surrounding +atmosphere, and bring all that strikes the sense into unison with all +the touches the heart. + +But it is more to our present purpose to say, that we think the fair +writer before us is eminently a mistress of this poetical secret; and, +in truth, it was solely for the purpose of illustrating this great charm +and excellence in her imagery, that we have ventured upon this little +dissertation. Almost all her poems are rich with fine descriptions, and +studded over with images of visible beauty. But these are never idle +ornaments; all her pomps have a meaning; and her flowers and her gems +are arranged, as they are said to be among Eastern lovers, so as to +speak the language of truth and of passion. This is peculiarly +remarkable in some little pieces, which seem at first sight to be purely +descriptive--but are soon found to tell upon the heart, with a deep +moral and pathetic impression. But it is, in truth, nearly as +conspicuous in the greater part of her productions; where we scarcely +meet with any striking sentiment that is not ushered in by some such +symphony of external nature--and scarcely a lovely picture that does not +serve as an appropriate foreground to some deep or lofty emotion. We may +illustrate this proposition, we think, by the following exquisite lines, +on a palm-tree in an English garden. + + It waved not through an Eastern sky, + Beside a fount of Araby + It was not fanned by southern breeze + In some green isle of Indian seas, + Nor did its graceful shadows sleep + O'er stream of Africa, lone and deep. + + But far the exiled Palm-tree grew + Midst foliage of no kindred hue; + Through the laburnum's dropping gold + Rose the light shaft of orient mould, + And Europe's violets, faintly sweet, + Purpled the moss-beds at his feet. + + There came an eve of festal hours-- + Rich music filled that garden's bowers: + Lamps, that from flowering branches hung, + On sparks of dew soft colours flung, + And bright forms glanced--a fairy show-- + Under the blossoms, to and fro. + + But one, a lone one, midst the throng, + Seemed reckless all of dance or song: + He was a youth of dusky mien, + Whereon the Indian sun had been-- + Of crested brow, and long black hair-- + A stranger, like the Palm-tree, there! + + And slowly, sadly moved his plumes, + Glittering athwart the leafy glooms: + He passed the pale green olives by, + Nor won the chestnut-flowers his eye; + But, when to that sole Palm he came, + Then shot a rapture through his frame! + + To him, to him its rustling spoke: + The silence of his soul it broke! + It whispered of his own bright isle, + That lit the ocean with a smile; + Ay, to his ear that native tone + Had something of the sea-wave's moan! + + His mother's cabin home, that lay + Where feathery cocoas fringed the bay; + The dashing of his brethren's oar; + The conch-note heard along the shore;-- + All through his wakening bosom swept; + He clasped his country's Tree--and wept! + + Oh! scorn him not! The strength whereby + The patriot girds himself to die, + The unconquerable power, which fills + The freeman battling on his hills-- + These have one fountain deep and clear-- + The same whence gushed that child-like tear! + + + + +ENNUI, AND THE DESIRE TO BE FASHIONABLE. + +BY LORD JEFFREY. + + +There are two great sources of unhappiness to those whom fortune and +nature seem to have placed above the reach of ordinary miseries. The one +is _ennui_--that stagnation of life and feeling which results from the +absence of all motives to exertion; and by which the justice of +Providence has so fully compensated the partiality of fortune, that it +may be fairly doubted whether, upon the whole, the race of beggars is +not happier than the race of lords; and whether those vulgar wants that +are sometimes so importunate, are not, in this world, the chief +ministers of enjoyment. This is a plague that infects all indolent +persons who can live on in the rank in which they were born, without the +necessity of working; but, in a free country, it rarely occurs in any +great degree of virulence, except among those who are already at the +summit of human felicity. Below this, there is room for ambition, and +envy, and emulation, and all the feverish movements of aspiring vanity +and unresting selfishness, which act as prophylactics against this more +dark and deadly distemper. It is the canker which corrodes the +full-blown flower of human felicity--the pestilence which smites at the +bright hour of noon. + +The other curse of the happy, has a range more wide and indiscriminate. +It, too, tortures only the comparatively rich and fortunate; but is most +active among the least distinguished; and abates in malignity as we +ascend to the lofty regions of pure _ennui_. This is the desire of being +fashionable;--the restless and insatiable passion to pass for creatures +a little more distinguished than we really are--with the mortification +of frequent failure, and the humiliating consciousness of being +perpetually exposed to it. Among those who are secure of "meat, clothes, +and fire," and are thus above the chief physical evils of existence, we +do believe that this is a more prolific source of unhappiness, than +guilt, disease, or wounded affection; and that more positive misery is +created, and more true enjoyment excluded, by the eternal fretting and +straining of this pitiful ambition, than by all the ravages of passion, +the desolations of war, or the accidents or mortality. This may appear a +strong statement; but we make it deliberately; and are deeply convinced +of its truth. The wretchedness which it produces may not be so intense; +but it is of much longer duration, and spreads over a far wider circle. +It is quite dreadful, indeed, to think what a sweep of this pest has +taken among the comforts or our prosperous population. To be though +fashionable--that is, to be thought more opulent and tasteful, and on a +footing of intimacy with a greater number of distinguished persons than +they really are, is the great and laborious pursuit of four families out +of five, the members of which are exempted from the necessity of daily +industry. In this pursuit, their time, spirits, and talents are wasted; +their tempers soured; their affections palsied; and their natural +manners and dispositions altogether sophisticated and lost. + +These are the great twin scourges of the prosperous: But there are +other maladies, of no slight malignity, to which they are peculiarly +liable. One of these, arising mainly from want of more worthy +occupation, is that perpetual use of stratagem and contrivance--that +little, artful diplomacy of private life, by which the simplest and most +natural transactions are rendered complicated and difficult, and the +common business of existence made to depend on the success of plots and +counterplots. By the incessant practice of this petty policy, a habit of +duplicity and anxiety is infallibly generated, which is equally fatal to +integrity and enjoyment. We gradually come to look on others with the +distrust which we are conscious of deserving; and are insensibly formed +to sentiments of the most unamiable selfishness and suspicion. It is +needless to say, that all these elaborate artifices are worse than +useless to the person who employs them; and that the ingenious plotter +is almost always baffled and exposed by the downright honesty of some +undesigning competitor. Miss Edgeworth, in her tale of "Manoeuvring," +has given a very complete and most entertaining representation of "the +by-paths and indirect crooked ways," by which these artful and +inefficient people generally make their way to disappointment. In the +tale, entitled "Madame de Fleury," she has given some useful examples of +the ways in which the rich may most effectually do good to the poor--an +operation which, we really believe, fails more frequently from want of +skill than of inclination: And, in "The Dun," she has drawn a touching +and most impressive picture of the wretchedness which the poor so +frequently suffer, from the unfeeling thoughtlessness which withholds +from them the scanty earnings of their labour. + + + + +THE INFLUENCE OF PERSONAL CHARACTER. + + +The immense importance of personal character is a subject which does not +enough draw the attention of individuals or society, yet it is to the +power of gaining influence, what the root is to the tree,--the soul to +the body. It is doubtful if any of us can be acquainted with the +infinitely minute ramifications into which this all-pervading influence +extends. A slight survey of society will enable us, in some degree, to +judge of it. There are individuals who, by the sole force of personal +character, seem to render wise, better, more elevated, all with whom +they come in contact. Others, again, stand in the midst of the society +in which they are placed, a moral upas, poisoning the atmosphere around +them, so that no virtue can come within their shadow and live. Family +virtues descend with family estates, and hereditary vices are hardly +compensated for by hereditary possessions. The characters of the junior +members of a family are often only reflections or modifications of those +of the elder. Families retain for generations peculiarities of temper +and character. The Catos were all stern, upright, inflexible; the Guises +proud and haughty at the heart, though irresistibly popular and +fascinating in manner. We _see_ the influence which men, exalted and +powerful, exert on their age, and on society; it is difficult to +believe that a similar influence is exerted by every individual man and +woman, however limited his or her sphere of life: the force of the +torrent is easily calculated,--that of the under-current is hidden, yet +its existence and power are no less actual. + +This truth opens to the conscientious a field of duty not enough +cultivated. The improvement of individual character has been too much +regarded as a matter of personal concern, a duty to ourselves,--to our +immediate relations perhaps, but to no others,--a matter affecting out +individual happiness here, and our individual safety hereafter! This is +taking a very narrow view of a very extended subject. The work of +individual self-formation is a duty, not only to ourselves and our +families, but to our fellow-creatures at large; it is the best and most +certainly beneficial exercise of philanthropy. It is not, it is true, +very flattering to self-love to be told, that instead of mending the +world, (the mania of the present day,) the best service which we can do +that world is to mend ourselves. "If each mends one, all will be +mended," says the old English adage, with the deep wisdom of those +popular sayings,--a wisdom amply corroborated by the unsettled +principles and defective practice of too many of the self-elected +reformers of society. + +It is peculiarly desirable, at this particular juncture of time, that +this subject be insisted upon. Man, naturally a social and gregarious +animal, becomes every day more so. The vast undertakings, the mighty +movements of the present day, which can only be carried into operation +by the combined energy of many wills, tend to destroy individuality of +thought and action, and the consciousness of individual responsibility. +The dramatist complains of this fact, as it affects his art, the +representation of surface,--the moralist has greater cause to complain +of it, as affecting the foundation of character. If it be true that we +must not follow a multitude to do evil, it is equally true that we must +not follow a multitude even to do good, if it involve the neglect of our +own peculiar duties. Our first, most peremptory, and most urgent duty, +is, the improvement of our own character; so that public beneficence may +not be neutralized by private selfishness,--public energy by private +remissness,--that the applause of the world may not be bought at the +expense of private and domestic wretchedness. So frequent and so +lamentable are the proofs of human weakness in this respect, that we are +sometimes tempted to believe the opinion of the cold and sneering +skeptic,[112] that the two ruling passions of men are the love of +pleasure and the love of action; and that all their seemingly good deeds +proceed from these principles. It is not so: it is a libel on human +nature: men,--even erring men,--have better motives, and higher aims: +but they mistake the nature of their duties and invert their order; what +should be "first is last, and the last first." + +It may be wisely urged, that if men waited for the perfecting of +individual character, before they joined their fellow men in those great +undertakings which are to insure benefit to the race, nothing would ever +be accomplished, and society would languish in a state of passive +inertness. It is far from necessarily following that attention to +private should interfere with attention to public interests; and public +interests are more advanced or retarded than it is possible to believe, +by the personal characters of their agitators. It is difficult to get +the worldly and the selfish to see this, but it is, nevertheless, true; +and there is no wisdom, political or moral, in the phrase, "Measures, +not men." Measures, wise and just in themselves, are received with +distrust and suspicion, because the characters of their originators are +liable to distrust and suspicion. Lord Chesterfield, the great master of +deception, was forced to pay truth the compliment of declaring, that +"the most successful diplomatist would be a man perfectly honest and +upright, who should, at all times, and in all circumstances, say the +truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." So the rulers of +nations ought to be perfectly honest and upright; not because such men +would be free from error, but because the faith of the governed in their +honour would obviate the consequences of many errors. It is the want of +unselfishness and truth on the part of rulers, and the consequent want +of faith in the ruled, that has reduced the politics of nations to a +complicated science. If we could once get men to act out the gospel +precept, "Do unto others as ye would that they should do unto you," +nations might burn their codes, and lawyers their statute-books. These +are the hundred cords with which the Lilliputians bound Gulliver, and he +escaped. If they had possessed it, or could have managed it, one cable +would have been worth them all. Much has been said,--much written,--on +the art of governing. Why has the simple truth been overlooked or +suppressed, that the moral character of the rulers of nations is of +first-rate importance? Except the Lord build the city, vain is the +labour of them who build it; except religion and virtue guide the state, +vain are the talents and the acts of legislators. Is it possible that +motives of paltry personal advancement, or of pecuniary gain, can induce +men to assume responsibilities affecting the welfare of millions? The +voice of those millions replies in the affirmative, and their +reproachful glances turn on _you_, mothers of our legislators! It might +have been yours, to stamp on their infant minds the dispassionate and +unselfish devotedness which belongs to your own sex,--the scorn of +meanness; the contempt of self, in comparison with others, peculiar to +woman. How have you fulfilled your lofty mission? Charity itself can +only allow us to suppose that its existence is as unknown as its spirit. + +The important fact, then, of the great influence of personal character, +can never be too much impressed upon all; but it is peculiarly needful +that women be impressed with it, because their personal character must +necessarily influence that of their children, and be the source of their +personal character. For, if the active performance of the duties of a +citizen interfere, and it undoubtedly does so, with the duty of +self-education, of what importance is it that men enter upon them with +such a personal character as may insure us confidence while it secures +us from temptation? The formation of such a character depends mainly on +mothers, and especially on their personal character and principles. The +character of the mother influences the children more than that of the +father, because it is more exposed to their daily, hourly observation. +It is difficult for these young, though acute observers, to comprehend +the principles which regulate their father's political opinions; his +vote in the senate; his conduct in political or commercial relations; +but they can see,--yes! and they can estimate and imitate, the moral +principles of the mother in her management of themselves, her treatment +of her domestics, and the thousand petty details of the interior. These +principles, whether lax or strict, low or high in moral tone, become, by +an insensible and imperceptible adoption, their principles, and are +carried out by them into the duties and avocations of future life. It +would be startling to many to know with what intelligence and accuracy +motives are penetrated, inconsistencies remarked, and treasured up with +retributive or imitative projects, as may best suit the purpose of the +moment. Nothing but a more extensive knowledge of children than is +usually possessed on entering life, can awaken parents to the perception +of this truth; and awakened perception may, perhaps, be only awakened +misery. How important is it, then, that every thing in the education of +women should tend to enlighten conscience, that she may enter on her +arduous task with principles requiring only watchfulness, not +reformation; and such a personal character as may exercise none by +healthy influences on her children! + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[112] Gibbon. + + + + +ON THE MEANS OF SECURING PERSONAL INFLUENCE. + + +The qualities which seem more especially needful in a character which is +to influence others, are, consistency, simplicity, and benevolence, or +love. + +By consistency of character, I mean consistency of action with +principle, of manner with thought, of _self_ with _self_. The want of +this quality is a failing with which our sex is often charged, and +justly; but are we to blame? Our hearts are warm, our nerves irritable, +and we have seen how little there is, in existing systems of female +education, calculated to give wide, lofty, self-devoted principles of +action. Without such principles, there can be no consistency of conduct; +and without consistency of conduct, there can be no available moral +influence. + +The peculiar evil arising from want of consistency, is the want of trust +or faith which it engenders. This is felt in the common intercourse with +the world. In our relations with inconsistent persons, we are like +mariners at sea without a compass. On the other hand, intercourse with +consistent persons gives to the mind a sort of tranquillity, peculiarly +favourable to happiness and to virtue. It is like the effect produced by +the perception of an immutable truth, which, from the very force of +contrast, is peculiarly grateful to the inhabitants of so changeable a +world as this. It is moral repose. + +This sort of moral repose is most peculiarly advantageous to children, +because it allows ample scope for the development of their mental and +moral faculties; banishing from their minds all that chaotic +bewilderment into which dependence on inconsistent persons throws them. +It is advantageous to them in another, and more important way,--it +prepares them for a belief in virtue; a trust in others, which it is +easy to train up into a veneration for the source of all virtue; a trust +in the origin of all truth. There can be no clearness of moral +perception in the governed, where there is no manifestation of a moral +rule of right in the governor. In speaking of moral perception, I do not +mean to say that children have, properly speaking, a moral perception of +inconsistency; but it affects their comfort and well-being, +nevertheless. There is, in the nature of man, as great a perception of +moral, as of physical order and proportion; and the absence of the moral +produces pain and disgust to the soul, as the absence of the physical +does to the senses. This state of pain and disgust is felt, though it +can never be expressed, by children, who are under the management of +inconsistent persons,--that is, persons whose conduct is guided solely +by feeling, (good or bad,) by caprice, or impulse; and how injurious it +is to them, we may easily conceive. If, however, their present comfort +only were endangered by it, the evil would be of comparatively small +magnitude; but it affects their character for life. They cease to trust, +and they cease to venerate; now, trust is the root of faith, and +veneration of piety:--and when the root is destroyed, how can the plant +flourish? Perhaps we may remark that the effect here produced upon +children is the same as that which long intercourse with the world +produces in men: only that the effect differs in proportion to their +differing intellectual faculties. The child is annoyed, and knows not +the cause of annoyance; the man is annoyed, and endeavours to lose the +sense of discomfort in a universal skepticism as to human virtue, and a +resolving of all actions into one principle, self-interest. He thus +seeks to create a principle possessing the stability which he desires, +but seeks in vain to find; for, be it remembered, our love of moral +stability is precisely as great as our love of physical change;--another +of the mysteries of our being. The effects on the man are the same as on +the child,--he ceases to believe, and he ceases to venerate; and the end +is the most degrading of all conditions,--the abnegation of all abstract +virtue, generosity, or love. Now, into this state children are brought +by the inconsistency of parents,--that is, these young and innocent +creatures are placed in a condition, moral and intellectual, which we +consider an evil, even when produced by long contact with a selfish and +unkind world. And thus they enter upon life, prepared for vice in all +its forms,--and skepticism, in all its heart-withering tendencies. How +can parents bear this responsibility? There is something so touching in +the simple faith of childhood,--its utter dependence,--its willingness +to believe in the perfection of those to whom it looks for +protection--that to betray that faith, to shake that dependence, seems +almost akin to irreligion. + +The value of principle, then, in itself so precious, is enhanced tenfold +by constancy in its manifestations, and therefore consistency, as a +source of influence, can never be too much insisted upon. + +Consistency of principle is brought to the test in every daily, hourly +occurrence of woman's life, and if she have been brought up without an +abiding sense of duty and responsibility, she is of all beings most +unfortunate; influences the most potent are committed to her care, and +from her they issue like the simoom of the desert, breathing moral +blight and death. I have endeavoured, in some degree, to enforce the +power of indirect influences on the minds of _children_: they are very +powerful in the other relations of life; in the conjugal, the truth is +too well known and attested by tale and song to need additional +corroboration here--and this book is principally, though not wholly, +dedicated to woman in her maternal character. + +The extreme importance of the manifestation of consistency in mothers +may be argued from this fact, that it is of infinite importance to +children to see the daily operation of an immutable and consistent rule +of right, in matters sufficiently small to come within the sphere of +childish observation, and, therefore, if called upon to give a +definition of the peculiar mission of woman, and the peculiar source of +her influence, I should say it is the application of large principles to +small duties,--the agency of comprehensive intelligence on details. That +largeness of mental vision, which, while it can comprehend the vast, is +too keen to overlook the little, is especially to be cultivated by +women. It is a great mistake to suppose the two qualities are +incompatible; and the supposition that they are so, has done much +mischief; the error arises not from the extent, but from the narrowness +of our capacity, _To aspire_ is our privilege, and a privilege which we +are by no means slack to use, without considering that the operations of +infinitude are even more incomprehensible in their minuteness than in +their magnitude, and that, therefore, to be always looking from the +minute towards the vast, is only a proof of the finite nature of our +present capacity. The loftiest intellect may, without abasement, be +employed on the minutest domestic detail, and in all probability will +perform it better than an inferior one: it is the motive and end of an +action which makes it either dignified or mean. In the homely words of +old Herbert + + All may of thee partake: + Nothing can be so mean, + Which, with this tincture, _for thy sake_ + Will not grow bright and clean. + +It is then in the minutiæ of daily life and conduct that this +consistency has its most beneficial operation, and it must derive its +power from the personal character for this reason, that no virtues but +indigenous ones are capable of the sort of moral transfusion here +mentioned. It is rare to see a parent, eminently distinguished by any +moral virtue, unsuccessful in the transmitting that virtue to children, +simply because, being an integral part of character, it is consistent in +its mode of operation; so virtues originating in effort, or practised +for the sake of example, are seldom transferable; the same consistency +cannot be expected in the exercise of them, and this may explain the +small success of pattern mothers, _par excellence_ so called, and whose +good intentions and sacrifices ought not to be objects of derision; the +very appearance of effort mars the effect of all effort. + +The world is sometimes surprised to see extraordinary proofs of moral +influence exercised by persons who never planned, never aimed, to obtain +such influence,--nay, whose conduct is never regulated by any fixed aim +for its attainment; the fact is, that those characters are composed of +truth and love;--truth, which prevents the assumption even of virtues +which are not natural, thereby adding to the influence of such as are; +love, the most contagious of all moral contagions, the regenerating +principle of the world! + +The virtue which mainly contributes to the support of +consistency--without which, in fact, consistency cannot exist--is +simplicity: consistency of conduct can never be maintained by characters +in any degree double or sophisticated, for it is not of simplicity as +opposed to craft, but of simplicity as opposed to sophistication, that I +would here speak, and rather as the Christian virtue, single-mindedness; +the desire to _be_, opposed to the wish to _appear_. We have seen how +rarely influence can be gained where no faith can be yielded; now an +unsimple character can never inspire faith or trust. People do not +always analyze mental phenomena sufficiently to know the reason of this +fact, but no one will dispute the fact itself. It is true there are +persons who have the power of conciliating confidence of which they are +unworthy, but it is only because (like Castruccio Castrucciani) they are +such exquisite dissemblers, that their affection of simplicity has +temporarily the effect of simplicity itself. This power of successful +assumption is, fortunately, confined to very few, and the pretenders to +unreal virtues and the utterer of assumed sentiments are only ill-paid +labourers, working hard to reap no harvest-fruits. + +An objection slightly advanced before, may here naturally occur again, +and may be answered more fully, viz. the opposition of the conventional +forms of society to entire simplicity of thought and action, and +consequently to influence. The influence which conventionalism has over +principle is to be utterly disclaimed, but its having an injurious +influence over manner is far more easily obviated; so easily, indeed, +that it may be doubted whether there be not more simplicity in +compliance than in opposition. Originality, either of thought or +behaviour, is most uncommon, and only found in minds above, or in minds +below, the ordinary standard; neither is this peculiar feature of +society in itself a blame-worthy one: it arises out of the constitution +of man, naturally imitative, gregarious, and desirous of approbation. +Nothing would be gained by the abolition of these forms, for they are +representatives of a good spirit; the spirit, it is true, is too often +not there, but it would be better to call it back than to abolish the +form. We have an opportunity of judging how far it would be convenient +or agreeable to do so, in the conduct of some _soi-disant_ contemners of +forms; we perceive that such contempt is equally the offspring of +selfishness with slavish regard: it is only the exchange of the +selfishness of vanity for the selfishness of indolence and pride, and +the world is the loser by the exchange. Hypocrisy has been said to be +the homage which vice pays to virtue. Conventional forms may, with +justice, be called the homage which selfishness pays to benevolence. + +How then is simplicity of character to be preserved without violating +conventionalism, to which it seems so much at variance, and yet, which +it ought not to oppose? By the cultivation of that spirit of which +conventional forms are only the symbol, by training children in the +early exercise of the kind the benevolent affections, and by exacting in +the domestic circle all those observances which are the signs of +good-will in society, so that they may be the emanations of a benevolent +heart, instead of the gloss of artificial politeness. Conventionalism +will never injure the simplicity of such characters as these, nay, it +may greatly add to their influence, and secure for their virtues and +talents the reception that they deserve; it is a part of benevolence to +cultivate the graces that may persuade or allure men to the imitation of +what is right. "Stand off, I am holier than thou," is not more foreign +to true piety, than "Stand off, I am wiser than thou," is to true +benevolence, as relates to those "things indifferent," in which we are +told that we may be all things to all men. + +The cultivation of domestic politeness is a subject not nearly enough +attended to, yet it is the sign, and ought to be the manifestation, of +many beautiful virtues--affection, self-denial, elegance, are all called +into play by it; and it has a potent recommendation in its being an +excellent preservative against affectation, which generally arises from +a great desire to please, joined to an ignorance of the means of +pleasing successfully. It is to be hoped that these remarks will not be +deemed trifling or irrelevant in a chapter on the means of securing +personal influence. Powers of pleasing are a very great source of that +influence, and there is no telling how great might be the benefit to +society, if all on whom they are bestowed (and how lavishly they are +bestowed on woman!) would be persuaded to use them, not as a means of +selfish gratification, but as an engine for the promotion of good.[113] +Such powers are as sacred a trust from the Creator as any other gift, +and ought to be equally used for his glory and the advancement of moral +good. Virtue, indeed, in itself is venerable, but it must be attractive +in order to be influential. And how attractive it might be, if the +powers of pleasing, which can cover and even recommend the deformity of +vice, were conscientiously excited in its behalf! This is the peculiar +province of women, and they are peculiarly fitted for it by Nature. +Their personal loveliness, their versatile powers, and lively fancy, +qualify them in an eminent degree to adorn, and by adorning to +recommend, virtue and religion. + + Cosi all' egro fanciul porgiamo aspersi + Di soare licor gli orli del vaso. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[113] It was a beautiful idea in the mythology of the ancients, which +identified the Graces with the Charities of social life. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE YOUNG LADY'S MENTOR*** + + +******* This file should be named 15490-8.txt or 15490-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/5/4/9/15490 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: The Young Lady's Mentor</p> +<p> A Guide to the Formation of Character. In a Series of Letters to Her Unknown Friends</p> +<p>Author: A Lady</p> +<p>Release Date: March 28, 2005 [eBook #15490]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE YOUNG LADY'S MENTOR***</p> +<p> </p> +<h4>E-text prepared by Joshua Hutchinson, David Newman, Cori Samuel,<br /> + and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team<br /> + from page images generously made available by<br /> + the Internet Archive Children's Library<br /> + and the University of California Library (Davis)</h4> +<p> </p> +<table border="0" style="background-color: #ccccff;" cellpadding="10"> + <tr> + <td valign="top"> + Note: + </td> + <td> + Images of the original pages are available through the Internet + Archive Children's Library. See + <a href="http://www.archive.org/details/UF00002046"> + http://www.archive.org/details/UF00002046</a><br /> + <br /> + Images of pages 244-284 were kindly provided by Special Collections + at the University of California Library (Davis) + </td> + </tr> +</table> +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h3>THE<a name="Page_1" id="Page_1"></a></h3> + +<h1>YOUNG LADY'S MENTOR:</h1> + +<h4>A GUIDE TO THE</h4> + +<h2><i>Formation of Character.</i></h2> + +<h3>IN A SERIES OF LETTERS TO HER UNKNOWN FRIENDS,</h3> + +<h2>BY A LADY.</h2> + +<hr /> + +<h5>PHILADELPHIA:</h5> + +<h4>H.C. PECK & THEO. BLISS.</h4> + +<h5>1852.</h5> + + +<h6>Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1851, by<br /><a name="Page_2" id="Page_2"></a> +H.C. PECK & THEO. BLISS,<br /> +in the Clerk's Office of the District Court of the Eastern District of +Pennsylvania.</h6> + + +<h6>STEREOTYPED BY L. JOHNSON AND CO.<br /> +PHILADELPHIA.</h6> + +<hr style="width: 50%;" /> + +<h2><a name="PREFACE" id="PREFACE"></a>PREFACE<a name="Page_3" id="Page_3"></a></h2> + + +<p>The work which forms the basis of the present volume is one of the most +original and striking which has fallen under the notice of the editor. +The advice which it gives shows a remarkable knowledge of human +character, and insists on a very high standard of female excellence. +Instead of addressing herself indiscriminately to all young ladies, the +writer addresses herself to those whom she calls her "Unknown Friends," +that is to say, a class who, by natural disposition and education, are +prepared to be benefited by the advice which she offers. "Unless a +peculiarity of intellectual nature and habits constituted them friends," +she says in her preface, "though unknown ones, of the writer, most of +the observations contained in the following pages would be +uninteresting, many of them altogether unintelligible."</p> + +<p>She continues: "That advice is useless which is not founded upon a +knowledge of the character of those to whom it is addressed: even were +the attempt made to follow such advice, it could not be successful."</p> + +<p>"The writer has therefore neither hope nor wish of exercising any<a name="Page_4" id="Page_4"></a> +influence over the minds of those who are not her 'Unknown Friends.' +There may, indeed, be a variety in the character of these friends; for +almost all the following Letters are addressed to different persons; but +the general intellectual features are always supposed to be the same, +however the moral ones may differ."</p> + +<p>"One word more must be added. All of the rules and systems recommended +in these Letters have borne the test of long-tried and extensive +experience. There is nothing new about them but their publication."</p> + +<p>The plan of the writer of the Letters enables her to give specific and +practical advice, applicable to particular cases, and entering into +lively details; whereas, a more general work would have compelled her to +confine herself to vague generalities, as inoperative as they are +commonplace.</p> + +<p>The intelligent reader will readily appreciate and cordially approve of +the writer's plan, as well as the happy style in which it is executed.</p> + +<p>To the "Letters to Unknown Friends" which are inserted entire, the +editor has added, as a suitable pendant, copious extracts from that +excellent work, "Woman's Mission," and some able papers by Lord Jeffrey, +the late accomplished editor of the Edinburgh Review.</p> + +<p>Thus composed, the editor submits the work to the fair readers of +America, trusting that it will be found a useful and unexceptionable +"Young Lady's Mentor."</p> + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="Contents" id="Contents"></a>Contents<a name="Page_5" id="Page_5"></a></h2> + +<p> +<a href="#PREFACE"><b>PREFACE</b></a><br /> +<a href="#LETTER_I"><b>LETTER I.</b>: Contentment</a><br /> +<a href="#LETTER_II"><b>LETTER II.</b>: Temper</a><br /> +<a href="#LETTER_III"><b>LETTER III.</b>: Falsehood and Truthfulness</a><br /> +<a href="#LETTER_IV"><b>LETTER IV.</b>: Envy</a><br /> +<a href="#LETTER_V"><b>LETTER V.</b>: Selfishness and Unselfishness</a><br /> +<a href="#LETTER_VI"><b>LETTER VI.</b>: Self-Control</a><br /> +<a href="#LETTER_VII"><b>LETTER VII.</b>: Economy</a><br /> +<a href="#LETTER_VIII"><b>LETTER VIII.</b>: The Cultivation of the Mind</a><br /> +<a href="#LETTER_IX"><b>LETTER IX.</b>: The Cultivation of the Mind</a> (Cont.)<br /> +<a href="#LETTER_X"><b>LETTER X.</b>: Amusements</a><br /> +<a href="#THE_INFLUENCE_OF_WOMEN_ON_SOCIETY103"><b>The Influence of Women on Society</b></a><br /> +<a href="#THE_SPHERE_OF_WOMANS_INFLUENCE"><b>The Sphere of Woman's Influence</b></a><br /> +<a href="#EDUCATION_OF_WOMEN"><b>Education of Women</b></a><br /> +<a href="#LOVE_MARRIAGE"><b>Love—Marriage</b></a><br /> +<a href="#LITERARY_CAPABILITIES_OF_WOMEN"><b>Literary Capabilities of Women</b></a><br /> +<a href="#ENNUI_AND_THE_DESIRE_TO_BE_FASHIONABLE"><b>Ennui, and the Desire to be Fashionable</b></a><br /> +<a href="#THE_INFLUENCE_OF_PERSONAL_CHARACTER"><b>The Influence of Personal Character</b></a><br /> +<a href="#ON_THE_MEANS_OF_SECURING_PERSONAL_INFLUENCE"><b>On the Means of Securing Personal Influence</b></a><br /> +</p> + + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_I" id="LETTER_I"></a><a name="Page_6" id="Page_6"></a><a name="Page_7" id="Page_7"></a>LETTER I.</h2> + +<h3>CONTENTMENT.</h3> + + +<p>It is, perhaps, only the young who can be very hopefully addressed on +the present subject. A few years hence, and your habits of mind will be +unalterably formed; a few years hence, and your struggle against a +discontented spirit, even should you be given grace to attempt it, would +be a perpetually wearisome and discouraging one. The penalty of past sin +will pursue you until the end, not only in the pain caused by a +discontented habit of mind, but also in the consciousness of its +exceeding sinfulness.</p> + +<p>Every thought that rebels against the law of God involves its own +punishment in itself, by contributing to the establishment of habits +that increase tenfold the difficulties to which a sinful nature exposes +us.</p> + +<p>Discontent is in this, perhaps, more dangerous than <a name="Page_8" id="Page_8"></a>many other sins, +being far less tangible: unless we are in the constant habit of +exercising strict watchfulness over our thoughts, it is almost +insensibly that they acquire an habitual tendency to murmuring and +repining.</p> + +<p>This is particularly to be feared in a person of your disposition. Many +of your volatile, thoughtless, worldly-minded companions, destitute of +all your holier feelings, living without object or purpose in life, and +never referring to the law of God as a guide for thought or action, may +nevertheless manifest a much more contented disposition than your own, +and be apparently more submissive to the decision of your Creator as to +the station of life in which you have each been placed.</p> + +<p>To account for their apparent superiority over you on this point, it +must be remembered that it is one of the dangerous responsibilities +attendant on the best gifts of God,—that if not employed according to +his will, they turn to the disadvantage of the possessor.</p> + +<p>Your powers of reflection, your memory, your imagination, all calculated +to provide you with rich sources of gratification if exercised in proper +directions, will turn into curses instead of blessings if you do not +watchfully restrain that exercise within the sphere of duty. The natural +tendency of these faculties is, to employ themselves on forbidden +ground, for "every imagination of man's heart is evil continually." It +is thus that your powers of reflection may only serve to give you a +deeper and keener insight into the disadvantages of your position in +life; and trivial circumstances, unpleasant probabilities, never dwelt +on for a moment by the gay and thoughtless, will with you <a name="Page_9" id="Page_9"></a>acquire a +serious and fatal importance, if you direct towards them those powers of +reasoning and concentrated thought which were given to you for far +different purposes.</p> + +<p>And while, on the one hand, your memory, if you allow it to acquire the +bad habits against which I am now warning you, will be perpetually +refreshing in your mind vivid pictures of past sorrows, wrongs, and +annoyances: your imagination, at the same time, will continually present +to you, under the most exaggerated forms, and in the most striking +colours, every possible unpleasantness that is likely to occur in the +future. You may thus create for yourself a life apart, quite distinct +from the real one, depriving yourself by wilful self-injury of the power +of enjoying whatever advantages, successes, and pleasures, your heavenly +Father may think it safe for you to possess.</p> + +<p>Happiness, as far as it can be obtained in the path of duty, is a duty +in itself, and an important one: without that degree of happiness which +most people may secure for themselves, independent of external +circumstances, neither health, nor energy, nor cheerfulness can be +forthcoming to help us through the task of our daily duties.</p> + +<p>It is indeed true, that, under the most favourable circumstances, the +thoughtful will never enjoy so much as others of that which is now +generally understood by the word happiness. Anxieties must intrude upon +them which others know nothing of: the necessary business of life, to be +as well executed as they ought to execute it, must at times force down +their thoughts to much that is painful for the present and anxious for +<a name="Page_10" id="Page_10"></a>the future. They cannot forget the past, as the light-hearted do, or +life would bring them no improvement; but the same difficulties and +dangers would be rushed into heedlessly to-morrow, that were experienced +yesterday, and forgotten to-day; and not only past difficulties and +dangers are remembered, but sorrows too: these they cannot, for they +would not, forget.</p> + +<p>In the contemplation of the future also, they must exercise their +imagination as well as their reason, for the discovery of those evils +and dangers which such foresight may enable them to guard against: all +this kind of thoughtfulness is their wisdom as well as their instinct; +which makes it more difficult for them than it is for others to fulfil +the reverse side of the duty, and to "be careful for nothing."<a name="FNanchor_1_1" id="FNanchor_1_1"></a><a href="#Footnote_1_1" class="fnanchor">[1]</a></p> + +<p>To your strong mind, however, a difficulty will be a thing to be +overcome, and you may, if you only will it, be prudent and sagacious, +far-sighted and provident, without dwelling for a moment longer than +such duties require on the unpleasantnesses, past, present, and future, +of your lot in life.</p> + +<p>Having thus seen in what respects your superiority of mind is likely to +detract from your happiness, in the point of the colouring given by your +thoughts to your life, let us, on the other hand, consider how this same +superiority may be so directed as to make your thoughts contribute to +your happiness, instead of detracting from it.</p> + +<p>I spoke first of your reasoning powers. Let them not be exercised only +in discovering the dangers and <a name="Page_11" id="Page_11"></a>disadvantages likely to attend your +peculiar position in life; let them rather be directed to discover the +advantages of those very features of your lot which are most opposed to +your natural inclinations. Consider, in the first place, what there may +be to reconcile you to the secluded life you so unwillingly lead. +Withdrawn, indeed, you are from society,—from the delightful +intercourse of refined and intellectual minds: you hear of such +enjoyments at a distance; you hear of their being freely granted to +those who cannot appreciate them as you could, (safely granted to them +for perhaps this very reason.) You have no opportunity of forming those +friendships, so earnestly desired by a young and enthusiastic mind; of +admiring, even at a reverential distance, "emperors of thought and +hand." But then, as a compensation, you ought to consider that you are, +at the same time, freed from those intrusions which wear away the time, +and the spirits, and the very powers of enjoyment, of those who are +placed in a more public position than your own. When you do, at rare +intervals, enjoy any intercourse with congenial minds, it has for you a +pleasurable excitement, a freshness of delight, which those who mix much +and habitually in literary and intellectual society have long ceased to +enjoy: while the powers of your own mind are preserving all that +originality and energy for which no intellectual experience can +compensate, you are saved the otherwise perhaps inevitable danger of +adopting, parrot-like, the tastes and opinions of others who may indeed +be your superiors, but who, in a copy, become wretchedly inferior to +your real self. Time you have, too, to cultivate your mind in such a +manner, and <a name="Page_12" id="Page_12"></a>to such a degree, as may fit you to grace any society of +the kind I have described; while those who are early and constantly +engaged in this society are often obliged, from mere want of this +precious possession, to copy others, and resign all identity and +individuality. To you, nobly free as you are from the vice of envy, I +may venture to suggest another consideration, viz. the far greater +influence you possess in your present small sphere of intellectual +intercourse, than if you were mixed up with a crowd of others, most of +them your equals, many your superiors.</p> + +<p>If you have few opportunities of forming friendships, those few are +tenfold more valuable than many acquaintance, among a crowd of whom, +whatever merits you or they might possess, little time could be spared +to discover, or experimentally appreciate them. The one or two friends +whom you now love, and know yourself beloved by, might, in more exciting +and busy scenes, have gone on meeting you for years without discovering +the many bonds of sympathy which now unite you. In the seclusion you so +much deplore, they and you have been given time to "deliberate, choose, +and fix:" the conclusion of the poet will probably be equally +applicable,—you will "then abide till death."<a name="FNanchor_2_2" id="FNanchor_2_2"></a><a href="#Footnote_2_2" class="fnanchor">[2]</a> Such friends are +possessions rare and valuable enough to make amends to you for any +sacrifices by which they have been acquired.</p> + +<p>Another of your grievances, one which presses the more heavily on those +of graceful tastes, refined habits, and generous impulses, is the very +small proportion of <a name="Page_13" id="Page_13"></a>this world's goods which has fallen to your lot. +You are perpetually obliged to deny yourself in matters of taste, of +self-improvement, of charity. You cannot procure the books, the +paintings, you wish for—the instruction which you so earnestly desire, +and would so probably profit by. Above all, your eyes are pained by the +sight of distress you cannot relieve; and you are thus constantly +compelled to control and subdue the kindest and warmest impulses of your +generous nature. The moral benefits of this peculiar species of trial +belong to another part of my subject: the present object is to find out +the most favourable point of view in which to contemplate the +unpleasantness of your lot, merely with relation to your temporal +happiness. Look, then, around you; and, even in your own limited sphere +of observation, it cannot but strike you, that those who derive most +enjoyment from objects of taste, from books, paintings, &c., are exactly +those who are situated as you are, who cannot procure them at will. It +is certain that there is something in the difficulty of attainment which +adds much to the preciousness of the objects we desire; much, too, in +the rareness of their bestowal. When, after long waiting, and by means +of prudent management, it is at last within your power to make some +long-desired object your own, does it not bestow much greater pleasure +than it does on those who have only to wish and to have?</p> + +<p>In matters of charity this is still more strikingly true—the pleasure +of bestowing ease and comfort on the poor and distressed is enhanced +tenfold by the consciousness of having made some personal sacrifice for +its attainment. The rich, those who give of their <a name="Page_14" id="Page_14"></a>superfluities, can +never fully appreciate what the pleasures of almsgiving really are.</p> + +<p>Experience teaches that the necessity of scrupulous economy is the very +best school in which those who are afterwards to be rich can be +educated. Riches always bring their own peculiar claims along with them; +and unless a correct estimate is early formed of the value of money and +the manner in which it can be laid out to the best advantage, you will +never enjoy the comforts and tranquillity which well-managed riches can +bestow. It is much to be doubted whether any one can skilfully manage +large possessions, unless, at some period or other of life, they have +forced themselves, or been forced, to exercise self-denial, and +resolutely given up all those expenses the indulgence of which would +have been imprudent. Those who indiscriminately gratify every taste for +expense the moment it is excited, can never experience the comforts of +competency, though they may have the name of wealth and the reality of +its accompanying cares.</p> + +<p>Still further, let your memory and imagination be here exercised to +assist in reconciling you to your present lot. Can you not remember a +time when you wanted money still more than you do now?—when you had a +still greater difficulty in obtaining the things you reasonably desire? +To those who have acquired the art of contentment, the present will +always seem to have some compensating advantage over the past, however +brighter that past may appear to others. This valuable art will bring +every hidden object gradually into light, as the dawning day seems to +waken into existence those objects which had before been unnoticed in +the darkness.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_15" id="Page_15"></a>Lastly, your imagination, well employed, will make use of your partial +knowledge of other people's affairs to picture to you how much worse off +many of those are,—how much worse off you might yourself be. You, for +instance, can still accomplish much by the aid of self-denial; while +many, with hearts as warm in charities, as overflowing as your own, have +not more to give than the "cup of cold water," that word of mercy and +consolation.</p> + +<p>You may still further, perhaps, complain that you have no object of +exciting interest to engage your attention, and develop your powers of +labour, and endurance, and cleverness. Never has this trial been more +vividly described than in the well-remembered lines of a modern poet:—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span>"She was active, stirring, all fire—<br /></span> +<span>Could not rest, could not tire—<br /></span> +<span>To a stone she had given life!<br /></span> +<span>—For a shepherd's, miner's, huntsman's wife,<br /></span> +<span>Never in all the world such a one!<br /></span> +<span>And here was plenty to be done,<br /></span> +<span>And she that could do it, great or small,<br /></span> +<span>She was to do nothing at all."<a name="FNanchor_3_3" id="FNanchor_3_3"></a><a href="#Footnote_3_3" class="fnanchor">[3]</a><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>This wish for occupation, for influence, for power even, is not only +right in itself, but the unvarying accompaniment of the consciousness of +high capabilities. It may, however, be intended that these cravings +should be satisfied in a different way, and at a different time, from +that which your earthly thoughts are now desiring. It may be that the +very excellence <a name="Page_16" id="Page_16"></a>of the office for which you are finally destined +requires a greater length of preparation than that needful for ordinary +duties and ordinary trials. At present, you are resting in peace, +without any anxious cares or difficult responsibilities, but you know +not how soon the time may come that will call forth and strain to the +utmost your energies of both mind and body. You should anxiously make +use of the present interval of repose for preparation, by maturing your +prudence, strengthening your decision, acquiring control over your own +temper and your own feelings, and thus fitting yourself to control +others.</p> + +<p>Or are you, on the contrary, wasting the precious present time in vain +repinings, in murmurings that weaken both mind and body, so that when +the hour of trial comes you will be entirely unfitted to realize the +beautiful ideal of the poet?—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span>"A perfect woman, nobly plann'd<br /></span> +<span>To warn, to counsel, to command:<br /></span> +<span>The reason firm, the temperate will,<br /></span> +<span>Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill."<a name="FNanchor_4_4" id="FNanchor_4_4"></a><a href="#Footnote_4_4" class="fnanchor">[4]</a><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Then, again, I would ask you to make use of your powers of reflection +and memory. Reflect what trials and difficulties are, in the common +course of events, likely to assail you; remember former difficulties, +former days or weeks of trial, when all your now dormant energies were +developed and strained to the utmost. You felt then the need of much +greater powers of mind and body than those which you now complain are +lying <a name="Page_17" id="Page_17"></a>dormant and useless. Further imagine the future cases that may +occur in which every natural and acquired faculty may be employed for +the great advantage of those who are dear to you, and when you will +experience that this long interval of repose and preparation was +altogether needful.</p> + +<p>Such reflections, memories, and imaginations must, however, be carefully +guarded, lest, instead of reconciling you to the apparent uselessness of +your present life, they should contribute to increase your discontent. +This they might easily do, even though such reflections and memories +related only to trials and difficulties, instead of contemplating the +pleasures and the importance of responsibilities. To an ardent nature +like yours, trials themselves, even severe ones, which would exercise +the powers of your mind and the energies of your character, would be +more welcome than the tame, uniform life you at present lead.</p> + +<p>The considerations above recommended can, therefore, be only safely +indulged in connection with, and secondary to, a most vigilant and +conscientious examination into the truth of one of your principal +complaints, viz. that you have to do, like the Duke's wife, "nothing at +all."<a name="FNanchor_5_5" id="FNanchor_5_5"></a><a href="#Footnote_5_5" class="fnanchor">[5]</a> You may be "seeking great things" to do, and consequently +neglecting those small charities which "soothe, and heal, and bless." +Listen to the words of a great teacher of our own day: "The situation +that has not duty, its <i>ideal</i>, was never yet occupied by man. Yes, +here, in this poor, miserable, pampered, despised actual, wherein thou +even now standest, here, or nowhere, <a name="Page_18" id="Page_18"></a>is thy <i>ideal</i>; work it out, +therefore, and, working, believe, live, be free. Fool! the ideal is in +thyself; the impediment, too, is in thyself: thy condition is but the +stuff thou art to shape that same ideal out of—what matters whether the +stuff be of this sort or of that, so the form thou give it be heroic, be +poetic? O thou that pinest in the imprisonment of the actual, and criest +bitterly to the gods for a kingdom wherein to rule and create, know this +of a truth,—the thing thou seekest is already with thee, 'here, or +nowhere,' couldst thou only see."</p> + +<p>When you examine the above assertions by the light of Scripture, can you +contradict their truth?</p> + +<p>Let us, however, ascend to a still higher point of view. Have we not +all, under every imaginable circumstance, a work mighty and difficult +enough to develope our strongest energies, to engage our deepest +interests? Have we not all to "work out our own salvation with fear and +trembling?"<a name="FNanchor_6_6" id="FNanchor_6_6"></a><a href="#Footnote_6_6" class="fnanchor">[6]</a> Professing to believe, as we do, that the discipline of +every day is ordered by Infinite Love and Infinite Wisdom, so as best to +assist us in this awfully important task, can we justly complain of any +mental void, of any inadequacy of occupation, in any of the situations +of life?</p> + +<p>The only work that can fully satisfy an immortal spirit's cravings for +excitement is the work appointed for each of us. It is one, too, that +has no intervals of repose, far less of languor or <i>ennui</i>; the labour +it demands ought never to cease, the intense and engrossing interest it +excites can never vary or lessen in <a name="Page_19" id="Page_19"></a>importance. The alternative is a +more awful one than human mind can yet conceive: those who have not +fulfilled their appointed work, those who have not, through the merits +of Christ, obtained the "holiness without which no man shall see the +Lord,"<a name="FNanchor_7_7" id="FNanchor_7_7"></a><a href="#Footnote_7_7" class="fnanchor">[7]</a> "must depart into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and +his angels."<a name="FNanchor_8_8" id="FNanchor_8_8"></a><a href="#Footnote_8_8" class="fnanchor">[8]</a></p> + +<p>With a hell to avoid, and a heaven to obtain, do you murmur for want of +interest, of occupation!</p> + +<p>In the words of the old story, "Look below on the earth, and then above +in heaven:" remember that your only business here is to get there; then, +instead of repining, you will be thankful that no great temporal work is +given you to do which might, as too often happens, distract your +attention and your labours from the attainment of life eternal. Having +been once convinced of the awful and engrossing importance of this "one +thing" we have to "do,"<a name="FNanchor_9_9" id="FNanchor_9_9"></a><a href="#Footnote_9_9" class="fnanchor">[9]</a> you will see more easily how many minor +duties may be appointed you to fulfil, on a path that before seemed a +useless as well as an uninteresting one. For you would have now learned +to estimate the small details of daily life, not according to their +insignificance, not as they may influence your worldly fate, but as they +may have a tendency to mould your spirit into closer conformity to the +image of the Son.<a name="FNanchor_10_10" id="FNanchor_10_10"></a><a href="#Footnote_10_10" class="fnanchor">[10]</a> You will now no longer inquire whether you have +any work to do which you might yourself consider suitable to your +capabilities and energies; but whether there is within your reach <a name="Page_20" id="Page_20"></a>any, +the smallest, humblest work of love, contemned or unobserved before, +when you were more proud and less vigilant.</p> + +<p>Look, then, with prayer and watchfulness into all the details of your +daily life, and you will assuredly find much formerly-unnoticed "stuff," +out of which "your ideal" may be wrought.</p> + +<p>You may, for instance, have no opportunity of teaching on an enlarged +scale, or even of taking a class at a Sunday-school, or of instructing +any of your poor neighbours in reading or in the word of God. Such +labours of love may, it is possible, though not probable, be shut out of +your reach: if, however, you are on the watch for opportunities, (and we +are best made quick-sighted to their occurrence in the course of the +day, by the morning's earnest prayer for their being granted to us,) you +may be able to help your fellow-pilgrims Zion-ward in a variety of small +ways. "A word in season, how good is it!" the mere expression of +religious sympathy has often cheered and refreshed the weary traveller +on his perhaps difficult and lonely way. A verse of Scripture, a hymn +taught to a child, only the visitor of a day, has often been blessed by +God to the great spiritual profit of the child so taught. Are not even +such small works of love within your reach?</p> + +<p>Again, with respect to family duties, I know that in some cases, when +there are many to fulfil such duties, it is a more necessary and often a +more difficult task to refrain altogether from interfering in them. They +ought to be allowed to serve as a safety-valve for the energies of those +members of the family who have no other occupations: of these there will +always be some <a name="Page_21" id="Page_21"></a>in a large domestic circle. Without, however, +interfering actively and habitually, which it may not be your duty to +do, are you always ready to help when you are asked, and to take trouble +willingly upon yourself, when the excitement and the credit of the +arrangement will belong exclusively to others? This is a good sign of +the humility and lovingness of your spirit: how is the test borne?</p> + +<p>Further, you may complain that your conversation is not valued, and that +therefore you have no excitement to exertion for the amusement of +others; that your cheerfulness and good temper under sorrows and +annoyances are of no consequence, as you are not considered of +sufficient importance for any display of feeling to attract attention. +When I hear such complaints, and they are not unfrequent from the +younger members of large families, I have little doubt that the sting in +all these murmurs is infixed by their pride. They assure me, at the same +time, that if there was any one to care much about it, to watch +anxiously whether they were vexed or pleased, they would be able to +exercise the strictest control over their feelings and temper,—and I +believe it, for here their pride and their affection would both come to +the assistance of duty. What God requires of us, however, is its +fulfilment when all these things are against us. The effort to control +grief, to conceal depression, to conquer ill-temper, will be a far more +acceptable offering in his eyes, when they alone are expected to witness +it. That which now his eyes alone see will one day be proclaimed upon +the housetop.<a name="FNanchor_11_11" id="FNanchor_11_11"></a><a href="#Footnote_11_11" class="fnanchor">[11]</a></p> + +<p><a name="Page_22" id="Page_22"></a>I must, besides, remind you that your proud spirit may deceive you when +it suggests, that because your sadness or your ill-humour attracts no +expressed notice or excites no efforts to remove it, it does not +therefore affect those around you. This is not the case; even the gloom +and ill-humour of a servant, who only remains a few minutes in +attendance, will be depressing and annoying to the most unobservant +master and mistress, though they might make no efforts to remove it. How +much more, then, may your want of cheerfulness and sweet temper affect, +though it may be insensibly, the peace of your family circle. Here you +are again seeking great things for yourself, and neglecting your +appointed work, because it does not to you appear sufficiently worthy of +your high capabilities. Your proud spirit needs being humbled, and +therefore, probably, it is that you will not be allowed to do great +things. No, you must first learn the less agreeable task of doing small +things, of doing what would perhaps be called easy things by those who +have never tried them. To wear a contented look when you know that, +perhaps, the effort will not be observed, certainly not appreciated,—to +take submissively the humblest part in the conversation, and still bear +cheerfully that part,—to bear with patience every hasty word that may +be spoken, and so to forget it that your future conduct may be +uninfluenced by it,—to remove every difficulty, the removal of which is +within your reach, without expecting that the part you have taken will +be acknowledged or even observed,—to be always ready with your +sympathy, encouragement, and counsel, however scornfully they may have +before been rejected; these are all <a name="Page_23" id="Page_23"></a>acts of self-renunciation which are +peculiarly fitted to a woman's sphere of duty, and have a direct +tendency to cherish the difficult and excellent grace of humility; they +may, however, help to foster rather than to subdue a spirit of +discontent, if they are performed from a motive of obtaining any, even +the most exalted, human approbation. They must be done to God alone, and +then the promise is sure, "thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward +thee openly."<a name="FNanchor_12_12" id="FNanchor_12_12"></a><a href="#Footnote_12_12" class="fnanchor">[12]</a> Thus, too, the art of contentment may be much more +easily learnt. Disappointment will surely sour your temper if you look +forward to human appreciation of a self-denying habit of life; but when +the approbation of God is the object sought for, no neglect from others +can excite discontent or much regret. For here there can be no +disappointment: that which comes to us through the day has all been +decreed by him, and as it must therefore give us opportunities of +fulfilling his will, and gaining his approbation, we must necessarily +"be content."</p> + +<p>It must, indeed, be always owing to some deficiency in religious +principle, that one discontented thought is suffered to dwell in the +mind. If our heart and our treasure were in heaven,<a name="FNanchor_13_13" id="FNanchor_13_13"></a><a href="#Footnote_13_13" class="fnanchor">[13]</a> should we be +easily excited to regret and irritation about the inconveniences of our +position on earth? If we sought "first the kingdom of God and his +righteousness,"<a name="FNanchor_14_14" id="FNanchor_14_14"></a><a href="#Footnote_14_14" class="fnanchor">[14]</a> should we have so much energy remaining to waste on +petty worldly annoyances? If we obeyed the injunction, "have faith in +God," should we daily and hourly, by our sinful murmuring, imply such +doubts of the divine attributes <a name="Page_24" id="Page_24"></a>of wisdom, love, and power? This is a +want of faith you do not manifest towards men. You would trust yourself +fearlessly to the care of some earthly physician; you would believe that +he understood how to adapt his strengthening or lowering remedies to +each varying feature of your case; you would even provide yourself with +remedies, which, on the faith of his skill, you would trustingly use to +meet every symptom that might arise on future occasions. But when the +Great Physician manifests a still greater watchfulness to adapt his +daily discipline to your varying temper and the different stages of your +Christian growth, you murmur—you believe not in his wisdom as you do in +that of the sons of earth.</p> + +<p>Do not, then, take his wisdom on faith alone; you must indeed believe, +you must believe or perish; but it may be as yet too difficult a lesson +for you to believe against sense, against feeling. What I would urge +upon you is, to strengthen your weak faith by the lessons of experience, +to seek anxiously, and to pray to be enabled to see distinctly, the +peculiar manner in which each trial of your daily lot is adapted to your +own individual case.</p> + +<p>I do not speak now of great trials, of such afflictions as crush the +sufferer in the dust. When the hand of God is so plainly seen, it is +comparatively easy to submit, and his Holy Spirit, ever fulfilling the +promise "as thy day is, so shall thy strength be,"<a name="FNanchor_15_15" id="FNanchor_15_15"></a><a href="#Footnote_15_15" class="fnanchor">[15]</a> sometimes makes +the riven heart strong to bear that which, in prospective, it dares not +even contemplate. You, however, <a name="Page_25" id="Page_25"></a>have had no trial of this nature; yours +are the petty irritations, the small vexations which "smart more because +they hold in Holy Writ no place."<a name="FNanchor_16_16" id="FNanchor_16_16"></a><a href="#Footnote_16_16" class="fnanchor">[16]</a> Even at more peaceful times, when +you can contemplate with resignation the general features of your lot in +life, you cannot subdue your spirit to patience under the hourly varying +annoyances and temptations with which you are beset. The peculiar +sensitiveness of your disposition, your affectionate, generous nature, +your refinement of mind, and quick tact, all expose you to suffer more +severely than others from the selfishness, the coarse-mindedness, the +bluntness of perception of those around you. You often say, in the +bitterness of your heart, Any other trial but this I could have borne; +every other chastisement would have been light in comparison. But why +have you so little faith? Why do you not see that it is because all +these petty trials are so severe to you, therefore are they sent? All +these amiable qualities that I have enumerated, and the love which they +win for you, would make you admire and value yourself too much, unless +your system were reduced, so to speak, by a series of petty but +continued annoyances. As I said before, you must seek to strengthen your +faith by tracing the close connection between these annoyances and the +"needs be" for them. It is probably exactly at the time when you are too +much elated by praise and admiration that you are sent some +counterbalancing annoyance, or perhaps suffered to fall into some fault +of temper which will lessen you in your own eyes, as well as in those of +<a name="Page_26" id="Page_26"></a>others. You are often troubled by some annoyance, too, when you have +blamed others for being too easily overcome by an annoyance of the very +same kind. "Stand upon" an anxious "watch," and you will see how +constantly severe judgments of others are punished by falling ourselves +into temptations similar to those which we had treated as light ones +when sitting in judgment upon others. If you would acquire the habit of +exercising faith with respect to the smallest details of your every-day +life, by such faith the light itself might be won, and your eyes be +opened to see how wondrously all things, even those which appear the +most needlessly worrying, are made to work together for your good.<a name="FNanchor_17_17" id="FNanchor_17_17"></a><a href="#Footnote_17_17" class="fnanchor">[17]</a> +These are, however, but the first lessons in the school of faith, the +first steps on the road which leads to "rest in God."</p> + +<p>Severer trials are hastening onward, for which your present petty trials +are serving as a preparatory discipline. According to the manner in +which these are met and supported, will be your patience in the hour of +deep darkness and bitter desolation. Waste not one of your present petty +sorrows: let them all, by the help of prayer, and watchfulness, and +self-control, work their appointed work in your soul. Let them lead you +each day more and more trustingly to "cast all your care upon Him who +careth for you."<a name="FNanchor_18_18" id="FNanchor_18_18"></a><a href="#Footnote_18_18" class="fnanchor">[18]</a> In the present hours of tranquillity and calm, let +the light and infrequent storms, the passing clouds that disturb your +peace, serve as warnings to you to find a sure refuge before the clouds +of affliction become so heavy, and its <a name="Page_27" id="Page_27"></a>storms so violent, that there +will be no power of seeking a haven of security. That must be sought and +found in seasons of comparative peace. Though the agonized soul may +finally, through the waves of sorrow, make its way into the ark, its +long previous struggles, and its after harrowing doubts and fears, will +shatter it nearly to pieces before it finds a final refuge. It may, +indeed, by the free grace of God, be saved at the last, but during the +remainder of its earthly pilgrimage there is no hope for it of joy and +peace in believing.</p> + +<p>But when the hour of earthly desolation comes to those who have long +acknowledged the special providence of God in "all the dreary +intercourse of daily life," "they knew in whom they have believed,"<a name="FNanchor_19_19" id="FNanchor_19_19"></a><a href="#Footnote_19_19" class="fnanchor">[19]</a> +and no storms can shake that faith. They know from experience that all +things work together for good to them that love God. In the loving, +child-like confidence of long-tried and now perfecting faith, they are +enabled to say from the depths of their heart, "It is the Lord, let him +do what seemeth him good."<a name="FNanchor_20_20" id="FNanchor_20_20"></a><a href="#Footnote_20_20" class="fnanchor">[20]</a> They seek not now to ascertain the "needs +be" for this particular trial. It might harrow up their human heart too +much to trace the details of sorrows such as these, in the manner in +which they formerly examined into the details of those of daily life. +"It is the Lord;" these words alone not only still all complaining, but +fill the soul with a depth of peace never experienced by the believer +until all happiness is withdrawn but that which comes direct from God. +"It is the Lord," who <a name="Page_28" id="Page_28"></a>died that we might live, and can we murmur even +if we dared? No; the love of Christ constrains us to cast ourselves at +his feet, not only in submission, but in grateful adoration. It is +through his redeeming love that "our light affliction, which is but for +a moment, will work for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of +glory."</p> + +<p>Even the very depth of mystery which may attend the sorrowful +dispensation, will only draw forth a stronger manifestation of the +Christian's faith and love. She will be enabled to rejoice that God does +not allow her to see even one reason for the stroke that lays low all +her earthly happiness; as thus only, perhaps, can she experience all the +fulness of peace that accompanies an unquestioning trust in the wisdom +and love of his decrees. For such unquestioning trust, however, there +must be a long and diligent preparation: it is not the growth of days or +weeks; yet, unless it is begun even this very day, it may never be begun +at all. The practice of daily contentment is the only means of finally +attaining to Christian resignation.</p> + +<p>I do not appeal to you for the necessity of immediate action, because +this day may be your last. I do not exhort you "to live as if this day +were the whole of life, and not a part or section of it,"<a name="FNanchor_21_21" id="FNanchor_21_21"></a><a href="#Footnote_21_21" class="fnanchor">[21]</a> because it +may, in fact, be the whole of life to you. It may be so, but it is not +probable, and when you have certainties to guide you, they are better +excitements to immediate action than the most solemn possibilities.</p> + +<p>The certainty to which I now appeal is, that every <a name="Page_29" id="Page_29"></a>duty I have been +urging upon you will be much easier to you to-day than it would be, even +so soon as to-morrow. One hour's longer indulgence of a discontented +spirit, of rebellious and murmuring thoughts, will stamp on your mind an +impression, which, however slight it may be, will entail upon you a +lifelong struggle against it. Every indulged thought becomes a part of +ourselves: you have the awful freedom of will to make yourself what you +will to be. "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,"<a name="FNanchor_22_22" id="FNanchor_22_22"></a><a href="#Footnote_22_22" class="fnanchor">[22]</a> "Quench" +the Spirit<a name="FNanchor_23_23" id="FNanchor_23_23"></a><a href="#Footnote_23_23" class="fnanchor">[23]</a> and the holy flame will never be rekindled. Kneel, then, +before God, even now, to pray that you may be enabled to will aright.</p> + +<p>Before you opened these pages, some of your daily irritations were +probably preying on your mind. You have often, perhaps, recurred to the +annoyance, whatever it may be, while you read on and on. Make this +annoyance your first opportunity of victory, the first step in the path +of contentment. Pray to an ever-present God, that he may open your eyes +to see how large may have been the portion of blame to yourself in the +annoyance you complain of,—in how far it may be the due and inevitable +chastisement of some former sin; how, finally, it may turn to your +present profit, by giving you a keener insight into the evils of your +own heart, and a more indulgent view of the often imaginary wrongs of +others towards you.</p> + +<p>Let not this trial be lost to you; by faith and prayer, this cloud may +rain down blessings upon you. The annoyance from which you are suffering +may be a <a name="Page_30" id="Page_30"></a>small one, casting but a temporary shadow, even like the</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span>"Cloud passing over the moon;<br /></span> +<span>'Tis passing, and 'twill pass full soon."<a name="FNanchor_24_24" id="FNanchor_24_24"></a><a href="#Footnote_24_24" class="fnanchor">[24]</a><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>But ere that shadow has passed away, your fate may be as decided as that +of the renegade in poetic fiction. During the time this cloud has rested +upon you, the first link of an interminable chain of habits, for good or +for ill, may have been fastened around you. Who can tell what "Now" it +is that "is the accepted time?" We know from Scripture that there is +this awful period, and your present temptation to murmuring and +rebellion against the will of God (for it is still his will, though it +may be manifested through a created instrument) may be to you that +"Now." Pray earnestly before you decide what use you will make of it.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_II" id="LETTER_II"></a><a name="Page_31" id="Page_31"></a>LETTER II.</h2> + +<h3>TEMPER.</h3> + + +<p>The subject proposed for consideration in the following letter has been +already treated of in perhaps all the different modes of which it +appears susceptible. Every religious and moral motive has been urged +upon the victim of ill-temper, and it is scarcely necessary to add that +each has, in its turn, been urged in vain. This failing of the character +comes gradually to be considered as one over which the rational will has +no control; it is even supposed possible that a Christian may grow in +grace and in the knowledge of the Saviour while the vice of ill-temper +is still flourishing triumphantly.</p> + +<p>It is, indeed, a certain fact that, unless the temper itself is +specially controlled, and specially watched over, it may deteriorate +even when the character in other respects improves; for the habit of +defeat weakens the exercise of the will in this particular direction, +and gradually diminishes the hope or the effort of acquiring a victory +over the indulged failing. It is a melancholy consideration, if it be, +as I believe, really the case, that a Christian may increase in love to +God and man, while at the same time perpetually inflicting severe wounds +on the peace and happiness of those who are nearest and dearest to her. +Worse than all, she is, by such conduct, wounding the Saviour "in <a name="Page_32" id="Page_32"></a>the +house of his friends,"<a name="FNanchor_25_25" id="FNanchor_25_25"></a><a href="#Footnote_25_25" class="fnanchor">[25]</a> bringing disgrace and ridicule upon the Holy +Name by which she is called.</p> + +<p>In the compatibility which is often tacitly inferred between a bad +temper and a religious course of life, there seems to be an instinctive +recognition of this peculiar vice being so much the necessary result of +physical organization, that the motives proving effectual against other +sins are ineffectual for the extirpation of this. Perhaps, if this +recognition were distinct, and the details of it better understood, a +new and more successful means might be made use of to effect the cure of +ill-temper.</p> + +<p>As an encouragement to this undertaking, there can be no doubt, from +some striking instances within your own knowledge, that there are +certain means by which, if they could only be discovered, the vice in +question may be completely subdued. Even among heathen nations, we know +that the art of self-control was so well understood, and so successfully +practised, that Plato, Socrates, and other philosophers were able to +bring their naturally fiery and violent tempers into complete subjection +to their will. Can it be that this secret has been lost along with the +other mysteries of those distant times, that the mode of controlling the +temper is now as undiscoverable as the manner of preparing the Tyrian +dye and other forgotten arts? It is surely a disgrace to those cowardly +Christians who, having in addition to all the natural powers of the +heathen moralist the freely-offered grace of God to work with them and +in them, should still walk so unworthy <a name="Page_33" id="Page_33"></a>of the high vocation wherewith +they are called, as to shrink hopelessly from a moral competition with +the ignorant worshippers of old.</p> + +<p>My sister, these things ought not so to be; you feel they ought not, yet +day after day you break through the resolutions formed in your calmer +moments, and repeat, probably increase, your manifestations of +uncontrolled ill-temper. This is not yet, however, in your case, a +wilful sin; you still mourn bitterly over the shame to yourself and the +annoyance to others caused by the indulgence of your ill-temper. You are +also painfully alive to the doubts which your conduct excites in the +mind of your more worldly associates as to the reality of a vital and +transforming efficacy in religion. You feel that you are not only +disobeying God yourself, but that you are providing others with excuses +for disobeying him, and with examples of disobedience. You mourn over +these considerations in bitterness of heart; you even pray for strength +to resist this, your besetting sin, and then—you leave your room, and +fall into the same sin on the very first opportunity.</p> + +<p>If, however, prayer itself does not prove an effectual safeguard from +persistence in sin, you will ask what other means can be hopefully +employed. None—none whatever; that from which real prayer cannot +preserve us is an inevitable misfortune. But think you that any kind of +sin can be among those misfortunes that cannot be avoided? No, my +friend: "He is able to succour them that are tempted;"<a name="FNanchor_26_26" id="FNanchor_26_26"></a><a href="#Footnote_26_26" class="fnanchor">[26]</a> and we are +also assured that He <a name="Page_34" id="Page_34"></a>is willing. Cease, then, from accusing the +All-merciful, even by implication, of being the cause of your continuing +in sin, and examine carefully into the nature of those prayers which you +complain have never been answered. The Scripture reason for such +disappointments is clearly and distinctly given: "Ye ask and receive +not, because ye ask amiss."<a name="FNanchor_27_27" id="FNanchor_27_27"></a><a href="#Footnote_27_27" class="fnanchor">[27]</a> Examine, then, in the first place, +whether you yourself are asking "amiss?" What is your primary motive for +desiring the removal of this besetting sin? Is it the consideration of +its being so hateful in the sight of God, of its being injurious to the +cause of religion? or is it not rather because you feel that it makes +you unloveable to those around you, and inflicts pain on those who are +very dear to you, at the same time lessening your own dignity and +wounding your self-respect? These are all proper and allowable motives +of action while kept in their subordinate place; but if they become the +primary actuating principle, instead of a conscientious hatred of sin +because it is the abominable thing that God hates,<a name="FNanchor_28_28" id="FNanchor_28_28"></a><a href="#Footnote_28_28" class="fnanchor">[28]</a> if pleasing man +be your chief object, you have no reason to complain that your prayers +are unanswered. The word of God has told you that it must be so. You +have asked "amiss." There is also a secondary sense in which we may "ask +amiss:" when we pray without corresponding effort. Some worthy people +think that prayer alone is to obtain for them all the benefits they can +desire, and that the influences of the Holy Spirit will, unassisted by +human effort, produce a transforming change in the temper and <a name="Page_35" id="Page_35"></a>the +conduct. This they call magnifying the grace of God, as if it could be +supposed that his gracious help would ever be granted for the purpose of +slackening, instead of encouraging and exciting, our own exertions. Do +not the Scriptures abound in exhortations, warnings, and threatenings on +the subject of individual watchfulness, diligence, and unceasing +conflicts? "To the law and to the testimony, if they speak not according +to this word, it is because there is no light in them."<a name="FNanchor_29_29" id="FNanchor_29_29"></a><a href="#Footnote_29_29" class="fnanchor">[29]</a> Perhaps you +have prayed under the mental delusion I have above described; you have +expected the work should be done <i>for</i> you, instead of <i>with</i> you; that +the constraining love of Christ would constrain you necessarily to +abandon your sinful habits, while, in fact, its efficacy consists in +constraining you to carry on a perpetual struggle against them.</p> + +<p>Look through the day that is past, or watch yourself through that which +is to come, and observe whether any violent conflict takes place in your +mind whenever you are tempted to sin. I fear, on the contrary, that you +expect the efficacy of your prayers to be displayed in preserving you +from any painful conflict whatever. It is strange, most strange, how +generally this perversion of mind appears practically to exist. +Notwithstanding all the opposing assertions of the Bible, people imagine +that the Christian's life, after conversion, is to be one of freedom +from temptation and from all internal struggles. The contrary fact is, +that they only really begin when we ourselves begin the Christian course +with earnestness and sincerity.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_36" id="Page_36"></a>If you would possess the safety of preparation, you must look out for +and expect constant temptations and perpetual conflicts. By such means +alone can your character be gradually forming into "a meetness for the +inheritance of the saints in light."<a name="FNanchor_30_30" id="FNanchor_30_30"></a><a href="#Footnote_30_30" class="fnanchor">[30]</a> Whenever your conflicts cease, +you will enter into your glorious rest. You will not be kept in a world +of sin and sorrow one moment after that in which you have attained to +sufficient Christian perfection to qualify you for a safe freedom from +trials and temptations: but as long as you remain in a temporal school +of discipline, "your only safety is to feel the stretch and energy of a +continual strife."<a name="FNanchor_31_31" id="FNanchor_31_31"></a><a href="#Footnote_31_31" class="fnanchor">[31]</a></p> + +<p>If I have been at all successful in my endeavours to alter your views of +the <i>manner</i> in which you are first to set about acquiring a permanent +victory over your besetting sin, you will be the more inclined to bestow +your attention on the means which I am now going to recommend for your +consequent adoption. They have been often tried and proved effectual: +experience is their chief recommendation. They may indeed startle some +pious minds, as seeming to encroach too far on what they think ought to +be the unassisted work of the Spirit upon the human character; but you +are too intelligent to allow such assertions, unfounded as they are on +Scripture, to prove much longer a stumbling-block in your way. I would +first of all recommend to you a very strict inquiry into the nature of +the things that affect your temper, so that you may be for the future on +your guard to avoid them, as far as lies in your <a name="Page_37" id="Page_37"></a>power. Avoidance is +always the safest plan when it involves no deviation from the +straightforward path of duty; and there will be enough of inevitable +conflicts left, to keep up the habits of self-control and watchfulness. +Indeed, the avoidance which I recommend to you involves in itself the +necessity of so much vigilance, that it will help to prepare you for +measures of more active resistance. On this principle, then, you will +shrink from every species of discussion, on either practical or abstract +subjects, which is likely to excite you beyond control, and disable you +from bearing with gentleness and calmness the triumph, either real or +imaginary, of your opponent. The time will come, I trust, when no +subject need be forbidden to you on these grounds, but at present you +must submit to an invalid regimen, and shun every thing that has even a +tendency to excitement.</p> + +<p>This system of avoidance is of the more importance, because every time +your ill-temper acquires the mastery over you, its strength is tenfold +increased for the next conflict, at the same time that your hopes of the +power of resistance, afforded either by your own will or by the +assisting grace of God, are of course weakened. You find, at each fall +before the power of sin, a greater difficulty in exercising faith in +either human or divine means of improvement. You do not, indeed, doubt +the power of God, but a disbelief steals over you which has equally +fatal tendencies. You allow yourself to indulge vague doubts of his +willingness to help you, or a suspicion insinuates itself that the God +whom you so anxiously try to please would not allow you to fall so +constantly into error, if this error were of a very <a name="Page_38" id="Page_38"></a>heinous nature. You +should be careful to shun any course of conduct possibly suggestive of +such dangerous doubts. You should seek to establish in your mind the +habitual conviction that, victory being placed by God within your reach, +you must conquer or perish! None but those who by obedience prove +themselves children of God, shall inherit the kingdom prepared for them +from the foundation of the world.<a name="FNanchor_32_32" id="FNanchor_32_32"></a><a href="#Footnote_32_32" class="fnanchor">[32]</a></p> + +<p>I have spoken of the vigilance and self-control required for the +avoidance of every discussion on exciting subjects; but this difficulty +is small indeed when compared with those unexpected assaults on the +temper which we are exposed to at every hour of the day. It is to meet +these with Christian heroism that the constant exertion of all our +inherent and imparted powers is perpetually required. Every device that +ingenuity can suggest, every practice that others have by experience +found successful, is at least worth the trial. One plan of resistance +suits one turn of mind; an entirely opposite one proves more useful for +another. To you I should more especially recommend the habitual +consideration that every trial of temper throughout the day is an +opportunity for conflict and for victory. Think, then, of every such +trial as an occasion of triumphing over your animal nature, and of +increasing the dominion of your rational will over the opposing +temptations of "the world, the flesh, and the devil." Consider each +vexatious annoyance as coming, through human instruments, from the hand +of God himself, and as an opportunity offered by his love and his wisdom +<a name="Page_39" id="Page_39"></a>for strengthening your character and bringing your will into closer +conformity with his. You should cultivate the general habit of +considering every trial in this peculiar point of view; thinking over +the subject in your quiet hours especially, that you may thus have your +spirit prepared for moments of unexpected excitement.</p> + +<p>To a person of your reflective turn of mind, the prudent management of +the thoughts is one of the principal means towards the proper government +of the temper. As some insects assume the colour of the plant they feed +on, so do the thoughts on which the mind habitually nourishes itself +impart their own peculiar colouring to the mental and moral +constitution. On your thoughts, when you are alone, when you wander +through the fields, or by the roadside, or sit at your work in useful +hours of solitude, depends very much the spirit you are of when you +again enter into society. If, for instance, you think over the trials of +temper which you are inevitably exposed to during the day as indications +of the unkindness of your fellow-creatures, you will not fail to +exaggerate mere trifles into serious offences, and will prepare a sore +place, as it were, in your mind, to which the slightest touch must give +pain. On the contrary, if you forcibly withdraw yourself from any +thought respecting the human instrument that has inflicted the wounds +from which you suffer or are likely to suffer,—if you look upon the +annoyance only as an opportunity of improvement and a message of mercy +from God himself,—you will then gradually get rid of all mental +irritation, and feel nothing but pity for your tormentors, feeling that +you have in reality been <a name="Page_40" id="Page_40"></a>benefited instead of injured. When you have +acquired greater power of controlling your thoughts, it will be +serviceable to you to think over all the details of the annoyance from +which you are suffering, and to consider all the extenuating +circumstances of the case; to imagine (this will be good use to make of +your vivid imagination) what painful chord you may have unconsciously +struck, what circumstances may possibly have led the person who annoys +you to suppose that the provocation originated with yourself instead of +with her. It may be possible that some innocent words of yours may have +appeared to her as cutting insinuations or taunts, referring to some +former painful circumstance, forgotten or unknown by you, but +sorrowfully remembered by her, or a wilful contradiction of her known +opinion and known wishes, for mere contradiction's sake.</p> + +<p>By the time you have turned over in your mind all these possible or +probable circumstances, you will generally see that the person offending +may really be not so much (if at all) to blame; and then the candid and +generous feelings of your nature will convert your anger into regret for +the pain you have unintentionally inflicted. I do not, however, +recommend you to venture upon this practice <i>yet</i>. Under present +circumstances, any indulged reflection upon the minute features of the +offence, and the possible feelings of the offender, will be more likely +to increase your irritation than to subdue it; you will not be able to +view your own case through an unprejudiced medium, until you have +acquired the power of compelling your thoughts to dwell on those +features only of an annoyance which <a name="Page_41" id="Page_41"></a>may tend to soften your feelings, +while you avoid all such as may irritate them.</p> + +<p>A much lower stage of self-control, and one in which you may immediately +begin to exercise yourself, is the prevention of your thoughts from +dwelling for one moment on any offence against you, looking upon such +offence in this point of view alone, that it is one of those +divinely-sent opportunities of Christian warfare without which you could +make no advance in the spiritual life. The consideration of the subject +of temper, as connected with habits of thought, on which I have dwelt so +long and in so much detail, is of the greatest importance. It is +absolutely impossible that you can exercise control over your temper, or +charitable and forgiving feelings toward those around you, if you suffer +your mind to dwell on what you consider their faults and your own +injuries. Are you, however, really aware that you are in the habit of +indulging such thoughts? I doubt it. Few people observe the direction in +which their thoughts are habitually exercised until they have practised +for some little time strict watchfulness over those shadowy and fleeting +things upon which most of the realities of life depend. Watch yourself, +therefore, I entreat you, even during this one day. I ask only for one +day, because I know that, in a character like yours, such an +examination, once begun in all earnestness, will only cease with life. +It is of sins of ignorance and carelessness alone that I accuse you; not +of wilfully harbouring malicious and revengeful thoughts. You have +never, probably, observed their existence: how, then, could you be aware +of their tendency? Perhaps the following <a name="Page_42" id="Page_42"></a>illustration may serve to +suggest to you proofs of the danger of the practice I have been warning +you against. If one of your acquaintance had offended another, you would +feel no doubt as to the sinfulness and the cruelty to both of dwelling +on all the aggravating circumstances of the offence, until the temper of +the offended one was thoroughly roused and exasperated, though, before +the interference of a third person, the subject may have been passed +over unnoticed. Is not this the very process you are continually +carrying on in your own mind, to your own injury, indeed, far more than +to any one else's? These habits of thought must be altered, or no other +measures of self-control can prosper with you, though, in connection +with this primary one, many others must be adopted.</p> + +<p>One practice that has been found beneficial is that of offering up a +short prayer, even as your hand is upon the door which is to admit you +into family intercourse, an intercourse which, more than any other, +involves duties and responsibilities as well as privileges and +pleasures. This practice could insure your never entering upon a scene +of trial, without having the subject of difficulty brought vividly +before your mind. David's prayer—"Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; +keep the door of my lips"<a name="FNanchor_33_33" id="FNanchor_33_33"></a><a href="#Footnote_33_33" class="fnanchor">[33]</a>—would be very well suited to such +occasions as these. This prayer would, at the same time, bring you down +help from Heaven, and, by putting you on your guard, rouse your own +energies to brave any temptation that may await you.</p> + +<p>There is another plan which has often been tried <a name="Page_43" id="Page_43"></a>with success,—that of +repeating the Lord's prayer deliberately through to oneself, before +venturing to utter one word aloud on any occasion that excites the +temper. The spirit of this practice is highly commendable, as, there +being no direct petition against the sin of ill-temper, it is +principally by elevating the spirit "into a higher moral atmosphere," +that the experiment is expected to be successful. You will find that a +scrupulous politeness towards the members of your family, and towards +servants, will be a great help in preserving your temper through the +trials of domestic intercourse. You are very seldom even tempted to +indulge in irritable answers, impatient interruptions, abrupt +contradictions, while in the society of strangers. The reason of this is +that the indulgence of your temper on such occasions would oblige you to +break through the chains of early and confirmed habits From infancy +those habits have been forming, and they impel you almost unconsciously +to subdue even the very tones of your voice, while strangers are +present. Have you not sometimes in the middle of an irritable +observation caught yourself changing and softening the harsh +uncontrolled tones of your voice, or the roughness of your manner, when +you have discovered the unexpected presence of a stranger in the family +circle? You have still enough of self-respect to feel deep shame when +such things have happened; and the very moment when you are suffering +from these feelings of shame is that in which you ought to form, and +begin to execute, resolutions of future amendment. While under the +influence of regretful excitement, you will have the more strength to +break through the chains <a name="Page_44" id="Page_44"></a>of your old habits, and to begin to form new +ones. If the same courtesy, which until now you have only observed +towards strangers, were habitually exercised towards the members of your +domestic circle, it would, in time, become as difficult to break through +the forms of politeness by indulging ill-temper towards them, as towards +strangers or mere acquaintance.</p> + +<p>This is a point I wish to urge on you, even more strongly with regard to +servants. There is great meanness in any display of ill-temper towards +those who will probably lose their place and their character, if they +are tempted by your provocation (and without your restraints of +good-breeding and good education) to the same display of ill-temper that +you yourself are guilty of. On the other hand, there is no better +evidence of dignity, self-respect, and refined generosity of +disposition, than a scrupulous politeness in requiring and requiting +those services for which the low-minded imagine that their money is a +sufficient payment. You will not alone receive as a recompense the love +and the grateful respect of those who serve you, but you will also be +forming habits which will offer a powerful resistance to the temptations +of ill-humour.</p> + +<p>You will not surely object to any of the precautions or the practices +recommended above, that they are too trifling or too troublesome; you +have suffered so much from your besetting sin, that I can suppose you +willing to try every possible means of cure.</p> + +<p>You should, however, to strengthen your desire of resistance and of +victory, look much further than the unpleasant consequences of +ill-temper in your own case alone. You are still young, life has gone +prosperously <a name="Page_45" id="Page_45"></a>with you, the present is fair and smiling, and the future +full of bright hopes; you have, comparatively speaking, few occasions +for irritation or despondency. A naturally warm temper is seen in you +under the least forbidding aspect, combined, as it is, with gay animal +spirits, strong affections, and ready good nature. You need only to look +around, however, to see the probability of things being quite different +with you some years hence, unless a thorough present change is effected. +Look at those cases (only too numerous and too apparent) in which +indulged habits of ill-temper have become stronger by the lapse of time, +and are not now softened in their aspect by the modifying influences of +youth, of hope, of health. See those victims to habitual ill-humour, who +are weighed down by the cares of a family, by broken health, by +disappointed hopes, by the inevitably accumulating sorrows of life. Do +you not know that they bestow wretchedness instead of happiness, even on +those who are dearest and nearest to them? Do you not know that their +voice is dreaded and unwelcome, as it sounds through their home, +deprived through them of the lovely peace of home? Is not their step +shunned in the passage, or on the stairs, in the certainty of no kind or +cheerful greeting? Do you not observe that every subject but the most +indifferent is avoided in their presence, or kept concealed from their +knowledge, in the vain hope of keeping away food for their excitement of +temper? Deprived of confidence, deprived of respect, their society +shunned even by the few who still love them, the unfortunate victims of +confirmed ill-temper may at last make some feeble efforts to shake off +their voluntarily imposed yoke.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_46" id="Page_46"></a>But, alas! it is too late; in feeble health, in advanced years, in +depressed spirits, their powers of "working together with God" are +altogether broken. They may be finally saved indeed, but in this life +they can never experience the peace that religion bestows on its +faithful self-controlling followers. They can never bestow happiness, +but always discomfort on those whom they best love; they can never +glorify God by bringing forth the fruits of "a meek and quiet spirit." +This is sad, very sad, but it is not the less true. Strange also it is, +in some respects, that when sin is deeply mourned over and anxiously +prayed against, its power cannot be more effectually weakened. This is, +however, an invariable feature throughout all the dispensations of God, +and you would do well to examine carefully into it, that you may add +experience to your faith in the Scripture assertion, "What a man soweth, +that shall he also reap."<a name="FNanchor_34_34" id="FNanchor_34_34"></a><a href="#Footnote_34_34" class="fnanchor">[34]</a> May you be given grace to sow such present +seed as may bring forth a harvest of peace to yourself, and peace to +your friends!</p> + +<p>I must not forget to make some observations with respect to those +physical influences which affect the temper and spirits. It is true that +these are, at some times, and for a short period, altogether +irresistible. This is, however, only in the case of those whose +character was not originally of sufficient force and strength to require +much habitual self-control, as long as they possessed good health and +spirits. When this original good health is altered in any way that +alters their natural temper, (all diseases, however, have not this +<a name="Page_47" id="Page_47"></a>effect,) not having had any previous practice in resisting the new and +unaccustomed evil, they yield to it as hopelessly as they would do to +the pain attending the gout and the rheumatism. If, however, such +persons as those above described are sincere in their desire to glorify +God, and to avoid disturbing the peace of those around them, they will +soon learn to make use of all the means within their reach to remove the +moral disease, as assiduously and as vigorously as they would labour to +remove the physical one. Their newly-acquired self-control will be blest +to them in more ways than one, for the grace of God is always given in +proportion to the need of those who are willing to work themselves, and +who have not incurred the evil they now struggle against, by wilful and +deliberate sin. I have spoken of only a few cases of ill-temper being +irresistible, and even these few only to be considered so at first, +before proper means of cure and prevention are used. Under other +circumstances, though the ill-temper mourned over may be strongly +influenced by physical causes, the sin must still remain the same as if +the causes were strictly moral ones. For instance, if you know that by +sitting up at night an hour or two later than usual, or by not taking +regular exercise, or by eating of indigestible food, you will put it out +of your power to avoid being ill-tempered and disagreeable on the +following day, the failure is surely a moral one. That the immediate +causes of your ill-humour may be physical ones, does not at all affect +the matter, seeing that such causes are, in this case, completely under +your own control. From this it follows that it must be a duty to watch +carefully the effects produced <a name="Page_48" id="Page_48"></a>on your temper by every habit of your +life. If you do not abandon such of these as produce undesirable +effects, you deserve to experience the consequences in the gradual +diminution of the respect and affection of those who surround you.</p> + +<p>Should the habits producing irritation of temper be such as you cannot +abandon without loss or detriment to yourself or others, the object in +view will be equally attained by exercising a more vigilant self-control +while you are exposed to a dangerous influence. For instance, you have +often heard it remarked, and have perhaps observed in your own case, +that poetry and works of fiction excite and irritate the temper. You may +know some people who exhibit this influence so strongly that no one will +venture to make them a request or even to apply to them about necessary +business, while they are engaged in the perusal of any thing +interesting. I know more than one excellent person, who, in consequence +of observing the effect produced on their temper, by novels, &c., have +given up this style of reading altogether. So far as the sacrifice was +made from a conscientious motive, they doubtless have their reward. From +the consequences, however, I should be rather inclined to think that +they were in many cases not only mistaken in the nature of the +precautions they adopted, but also in their motives for adopting them. +Such persons too frequently seem to have no more control over their +temper when exposed to other and entirely inevitable temptations, than +they had before the cultivation of their imagination was given up. They +do not, in short, seem to exercise, under circumstances that cannot be +escaped, that vigilant self-control which <a name="Page_49" id="Page_49"></a>would be the only safe test +of the conscientiousness of their intellectual sacrifice.</p> + +<p>For you, I should consider any sacrifice of the foregoing kind +especially inexpedient. Your deep thoughtfulness of mind, and your +habitual delicacy of health, make it impossible for you to give up light +literature with any degree of safety; even were it right that you should +abandon that species of mental cultivation which is effected by this +most important branch of study. People who never read difficult books, +and who are not of reflective habits of mind, can little understand the +necessity that at times exists for entire repose to the higher powers of +the mind—a repose which can be by no means so effectually procured as +by an interesting work of fiction. A drive in a pretty country, a +friendly visit, an hour's work in the garden, any of these may indeed +effect the same purpose, and on some occasions in a safer way than a +novel or a poem. The former, however, are means which are not always +within one's reach, which are impossible at seasons when entire rest to +the mind is most required,—viz. during days and weeks of confinement to +a sick and infected room. At such periods, it is true that the more idle +the mind can be kept the better; even the most trifling story may excite +a dangerous exertion of its nervous action; at times, however, when it +is sufficiently strong and disengaged to feel a craving for active +employment, it is of great importance that the employment should be such +as would involve no exercise of the higher intellectual faculties. I +have known serious evils result to both mind and body from an imprudent +engagement in intellectual pursuits during <a name="Page_50" id="Page_50"></a>temporary, and as it may +often appear trifling, illness. Whenever the body is weak, the mind also +should be allowed to rest, if the invalid be a person of thought and +reflection; otherwise Butler's Analogy itself would not do her any harm. +It is <i>only</i> "Lorsqu'il y a vie, il y a danger." This is a long +digression, but one necessary to my subject; for I feel the importance +of impressing on your mind that it can never be your duty to give up +that which is otherwise expedient for you, on the grounds of its being a +cause of excitement. You must only, under such circumstances, exercise a +double vigilance over your temper. Thus you must try to avoid speaking +in an irritated tone when you are interrupted; you must be always ready +to help another, if it be otherwise expedient, however deep may be the +interest of the book in which you are engaged; and, finally, if you are +obliged to refuse your assistance, you should make a point of expressing +your refusal with gentleness and courtesy.</p> + +<p>You should show others, as well as be convinced of it yourself, that the +refusal to oblige is altogether irrespective of any effect produced on +your temper by the studies in which you are engaged. Perhaps during the +course of even this one day, you may have an opportunity of experiencing +both the difficulty and advantage of attending to the foregoing +directions.</p> + +<p>In conclusion, I would remind you, that it may, some time or other, be +the will of God to afflict you with heavy and permanent sickness, +habitually affecting your temper, generating despondency, impatience, +and irritation, and making the whole mind, as it were, one vast sore, +shrinking in agony from every touch. If <a name="Page_51" id="Page_51"></a>such a trial should ever be +allotted to you, (and it may be sent as a punishment for the neglect of +your present powers of self-control,) how will you be able to avoid +becoming a torment to all around you, and at the same time bringing +doubt and ridicule on your profession of religion?</p> + +<p>If, during your present enjoyment of mental and bodily health, you do +not acquire a mastery over your temper, it will be almost impossible to +do so when the effects of disease are added to the influences of nature +and habit. On the other hand, from Galen down to Sir Henry Halford, +there is high medical authority for the important fact that self-control +acquired in health may be successfully exercised to subdue every +external sign, at least, of the irritation and depression often +considered inevitably attendant on many peculiar maladies. There are few +greater temporal rewards of obedience than the consciousness, under such +trying circumstances, of still possessing the power of procuring peace +for oneself, love from one's neighbour, and glory to God.</p> + +<p>Remember, finally, that every day and every hour you pause and hesitate +about beginning to control your temper, may probably expose you to years +of more severe future conflict. "Now is the accepted time, now is the +day of salvation," is fully as true when asserted of the beginning of +the slow moral process by which our own conformity "to the image of the +Son" is effected, as of the saving moment in which we "arise and go to +our Father."<a name="FNanchor_35_35" id="FNanchor_35_35"></a><a href="#Footnote_35_35" class="fnanchor">[35]</a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_III" id="LETTER_III"></a><a name="Page_52" id="Page_52"></a>LETTER III.</h2> + +<h3>FALSEHOOD AND TRUTHFULNESS.</h3> + + +<p>I do not accuse you of being a liar—far from it; on the contrary, I +believe that if truth and falsehood were distinctly placed before you, +and the opportunity of a deliberate choice afforded you, you would +rather expose yourself to serious injury than submit to the guilt of +falsehood. It is, therefore, with the more regret that your +conscientious friends observe a daily-growing disregard of absolute +truth in your statement of indifferent things, and, <i>à plus forte +raison</i>, in your statement of your own side of the question as opposed +to that of another. There are, unfortunately, a thousand opportunities +and temptations to the exaggerated mode of expression for which I blame +you; and these temptations are generally of so trifling a nature, that +the whole energies of the conscience are never awakened to resist them, +as might be the case were the evil to others and the disgrace to +yourself more strikingly manifest. Few people seem to be at all aware of +the difficulties that really attend speaking the <i>exact</i> truth, or they +would shrink from indulging in any habits that immeasurably increase +these difficulties,—increase it, indeed, to such a degree, that some +minds appear to have lost the very power of perceiving truth; so that, +even when they are extremely anxious to be correct in their statement, +there is a total incapacity of transmitting <a name="Page_53" id="Page_53"></a>a story to another in the +way that they themselves received it. This is one of the most striking +temporal punishments of sin,—one of those that are the inevitable +consequences of the sin itself, and quite independent of the other +punishments which the revealed will of God attaches to it. The persons +of whom I speak must sooner or later perceive that no dependence is +placed on their statements, that even when respect and affection for +their other good qualities may prevent a clear recognition of the +falsehood of their character, yet that they are now never applied to for +information on any matters of importance. Perhaps, to those who have any +sensitiveness of observation, such doubts are even the more painful the +more vaguely they are implied. For myself, I have long acquired the +habit of translating the assertions and the stories of the persons of +whom I speak into the language in which I judge they originally existed. +By the aid of a small degree of ingenuity, it is not very difficult to +ascertain, from the nature of the refracting medium, the degree and the +direction of the change that has taken place in the pure ray of truth.</p> + +<p>Yet such people as these often deserve pity as much as blame: they are, +perhaps, unconscious of the degree in which habit has made them +insensible to the perversion of truth in their statements; and even now +they scarcely believe that what seems to them so true should appear and +really be false to others. The intellectual effects of such habits are +equally injurious with the moral ones. All natural clearness and +distinctness of intellect becomes gradually obscured; the memory becomes +perplexed; the very style of writing acquires <a name="Page_54" id="Page_54"></a>the taint of the +perverted mind. Truth is impressed upon every line of Dr. Arnold's +vigorous diction, while other writers of equal, perhaps, but less +respectable eminence, betray, even in their mode of expression, the +habitual want of honesty in their character and in their statements.</p> + +<p>In your case, none of the habits of which I have spoken are, as yet, +firmly implanted. A warm temper, ardent feelings, and a vivid +imagination are, as yet, the only causes of your errors. You have still +time and power to struggle against them, as the chains of habit have not +been added to those of nature. But, before the struggle begins, you must +be convinced of its necessity; and this is probably the point on which +you are entirely incredulous. Listen to me, then, while I help you to +discover the hidden mysteries of a heart that "is deceitful above all +things," and let the self-examination I urge upon you be prompt, be +immediate. Let it be exercised through the day that is coming; watch the +manner in which you express yourself on every subject; observe, +especially those temptations which will assail you to venture upon +greater deviations from truth than those which you think you may +harmlessly indulge in, under the sanction of vivid imagination, poetic +fancy, &c. This latter part of the examination may throw great light on +the subject: people are not assailed frequently and strongly by +temptations that have never, at any former time, been yielded to.</p> + +<p>I have reason to believe that, as one of the preparations for such +self-examination, you entertain a deep sense of the exceeding sinfulness +of sin, and feel an <a name="Page_55" id="Page_55"></a>anxious desire to approve yourself as a faithful +servant to your heavenly Master. I do not, therefore, suppose that at +present any temptation would induce you to incur the guilt of a +deliberate falsehood. The perception of moral evil may, however, be so +blunted by habits of mere carelessness, that I should have no dependence +on your adhering for many future years to even this degree of plain, +downright truth, unless those habits are decidedly broken through. But +do not, from this, imagine that I consider a distinct, decided falsehood +more, but rather less, dangerous for the future of your character than +those lighter errors of which I have spoken. Though you may sink so far, +in course of time, as to consider even a direct lie a very small +transgression of the law of God, you will never be able to persuade +yourself that it is entirely free from sin. The injury, too, to our +neighbour, of a direct lie, can be so much more easily guarded against, +that, for the sake of others, I am far more earnest in warning you +against equivocation than against decided falsehood. It is sadly +difficult for the injured person to ward off the effects of a deceitful +glance, a misleading action, an artful insinuation. No earthly defence +is of any avail here, as the sorrows of many a wounded heart can +testify; but for such injured ones there is a sure, though it may be a +long-suffering, Defender. He is the Judge of all the earth; and even in +this world he will visit, with a punishment inevitably involved in the +consequences of their crime, those who have in any manner deceived their +neighbour to his hurt.</p> + +<p>I do not, however, accuse you of exaggerating or equivocating from +malice alone: no,—more frequently <a name="Page_56" id="Page_56"></a>it is for the sake of mere +amusement, or, at the worst, in cowardly self-defence; that is, you +prefer throwing the blame by insinuation upon an innocent person to +bearing courageously what you deserve yourself. In most cases, indeed, +you can plead in excuse that the blame is not of any serious nature; +that the insinuated accusation is slight enough to be entirely harmless: +so it may appear to you, but so it frequently happens not to be. This +insinuated accusation, appearing to you so unimportant, may have some +peculiar relations that make it more injurious to the slandered one than +the original blame could have been to yourself. It may be the means of +separating her from her chief friend, or shaking her influence in +quarters where perhaps it was of great importance to her that it should +be preserved unimpaired. When we lay sinful hands on the complicated +machinery of God's providence, it is impossible for us to see how far +the derangement may extend.</p> + +<p>You may, during the course of this coming day, have an opportunity of +giving your own version of a matter in which another was concerned with +you, and in which, if the blame is thrown on her, she will have no +opportunity of defending herself. Be on your guard, then; have a noble +courage; fear nothing but the meanness and the wickedness of accusing +the absent and the defenceless. The opportunity offered you to-day of +speaking conscientiously, however trifling it may in itself appear, may +possibly be the turning point of your life; may lead you on to future +habits of cowardice and deceit, or may impart to you new vigilance and +energy for future victories over temptation.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_57" id="Page_57"></a>You may, also, during the course of this day, be strongly tempted as to +the mode of repeating what another has said in conversation: the +slightest turn in the expression of the sentence, the insertion or +omission of one little word, the change of a weaker to a stronger +expression, may exactly adapt to your purpose the sentence you are +tempted to repeat. You may also often be able to say to yourself that +you are giving the impression of the real meaning of the speaker, only +withheld by herself because she had not courage to express it. +Opportunities such as these are continually offering themselves to you, +and you have ingenuity enough to make the desired change in the repeated +sentence so effectual, that there will be no danger of contradiction, +even if the betrayed person should discover that she is called upon to +defend herself. I have heard this so cleverly done, that the success was +complete, and the poor slandered one lost, in consequence, her admirer +or her friend, or at least much of her influence over them. You, too, +may in like manner succeed: but what is the loss of others in comparison +of the penalty of your success? The punishment of successful sin is not +to be escaped.</p> + +<p>In any of the cases I here bring forward as illustrations, as helps to +your self-examination, I am not supposing that there is any tangible, +positive, wilful deceit in your heart, or that you deliberately +contemplate any very serious injury being inflicted on the persons whose +conversations and actions you misrepresent. On the contrary, I know that +you are not thus hardened in sin. With regard, however, to the deceit +not assuming any tangible form in your own eyes, you ought to <a name="Page_58" id="Page_58"></a>remember +the solemn words, "Thou, O God I seest me;" and what is sin in his eyes +can only fail to be so in ours from the neglect of strict +self-examination and prayer that the Spirit of the Lord may search the +very depths of the heart. Sins of ignorance seem to assume even a deeper +dye than others, when the ignorance only arises from wilful neglect of +the means of knowledge so abundantly and freely bestowed. When you once +begin in right earnest to try to speak the truth from your heart, in the +smallest as well as in the greatest things, you will be surprised to +find how difficult it is. Carelessness, false shame, a desire for +admiration, a vanity that leads you to disclaim any interest in that +which you cannot obtain,—these are all temptations that beset your +path, and ought to terrify you against adding the chains of habit to so +many other difficulties.</p> + +<p>There is one more point of view in which I wish you to consider this +subject; that, namely, of "honesty being the best policy." There is no +falsehood that is not found out in the end, and so turned to the shame +of the person who is guilty of it. You may perpetually dread, even at +present, the eye of the discriminating observer; she can see through +you, even at the very moment of your committal of sin; she quickly +discovers that it is your habit to depreciate people or things, only +because you are not in your turn valued by them, or because you cannot +obtain them; she can see, in a few minutes' conversation, that it is +your habit to say that you are admired and loved, that your society is +eagerly sought for by such and such people, whether it be the case or +not. Quick observers discover in a first interview what others will not +fail to <a name="Page_59" id="Page_59"></a>discover after a time. They will then cease to depend upon you +for information on any subject in which your own interest or your vanity +is concerned. They will turn up their eyes in wonder, from habit and +politeness, not from belief. They will always suspect some hidden motive +for your words, instead of the one you put forward; nay, your giving one +reason for your actions will, by itself alone, set them on the search to +discover a different one. All this, perhaps, will in many cases take +place without their accusing you, even in their secret thoughts, of +being a liar. They have only a vague consciousness that you are, it may +be involuntarily, quite incapable of giving correct information.</p> + +<p>The habitual, the known truth-speaker, occupies a proud position. Alas! +that it should be so rare. Alas! that, even among professedly religious +people, there should be so few who speak the truth from the heart; so +few to whom one can turn with a fearless confidence to ask for +information on any points of personal interest. I need not to be told +that it is during childhood that the formation of strict habits of +truthfulness is at once most sure and most easy. The difficulty is +indeed increased ten thousandfold, when the neglect of parents has +suffered even careless habits on this point to be contracted. The +difficulties, however, though great, are not insuperable to those who +seek the freely-offered grace of God to help them in the conflict. The +resistance to temptation, the self-control, will indeed be more +difficult when the effort begins later in life; but the victory will be +also the more glorious, and the general effects on the character more +permanent and beneficial.<a name="Page_60" id="Page_60"></a> Not that this serves as any excuse for the +cruel neglect of parents, for they can have no certainty that future +repentance will be granted for those habits of sin, the formation of +which they might have prevented.</p> + +<p>Dwelling, however, even in thought, on the neglect of our parents can +only lead to vain murmurings and complainings, and prevent the +concentration of all our energies and interest upon the extirpation of +the dangerous root of evil.</p> + +<p>In this case, as in all others, though the sin of the parent is surely +visited on the children, the very visitation is turned into a blessing +for those who love God. To such blessed ones it becomes the means of +imparting greater strength and vigour to the character, from the +perpetual conflicts to which it is exposed in its efforts to overcome +early habits of evil.</p> + +<p>Thus even sin itself is not excepted from the "all things" that "work +together for good to them that love God."<a name="FNanchor_36_36" id="FNanchor_36_36"></a><a href="#Footnote_36_36" class="fnanchor">[36]</a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_IV" id="LETTER_IV"></a><a name="Page_61" id="Page_61"></a>LETTER IV.</h2> + +<h3>ENVY.</h3> + + +<p>It is, perhaps, an "unknown friend" only who would venture to address a +remonstrance to you on that particular sin which forms the subject of +the following pages; for it seems equally acknowledged by those who are +guilty of it, and those who are entirely free from its taint, that there +is no bad quality meaner, more degrading, than that of envy. Who, +therefore, could venture openly to accuse another of such a failing, +however kind and disinterested the motive, and still be admitted to rank +as her friend?</p> + +<p>There is, besides, a strong impression that, where this failing does +exist, it is so closely interwoven with the whole texture of the +character, that it can never be separated from it while life and this +body of sin remain. This is undoubtedly thus far true, that its +ramifications are more minute, and more universally pervading, than +those of any other moral defect; so that, on the one hand, while even an +anxious and diligent self-examination cannot always detect their +existence, so, on the other, it is scarcely possible for its victims to +be excited by an emotion of any nature with which envy will not, in some +manner or other, connect itself. It is still further true, that no vice +can be more difficult of extirpation, the form it assumes being seldom +sufficiently tangible to allow of the whole weight of religious and +<a name="Page_62" id="Page_62"></a>moral motives being brought to bear upon it. But the greatest +difficulty of all is, in my mind, the inadequate conception of the +exceeding evil of this disposition, of the misery it entails on +ourselves, the danger and the constant annoyance to which it exposes all +connected with us. Few would recognise their own picture, however strong +the likeness in fact might be, in the following vivid description of +Lavater's:—"Lorsque je cherche à représenter Satan, je me figure une +personne que les bonnes qualités d'autrui font souffrir, et qui se +réjouit des fautes et des malheurs du prochain."</p> + +<p>Analyze strictly, however, during even this one day, the feelings that +have given you the most annoyance, and the contemplated or executed +measures of deed or word to which those feelings have prompted you, and +you must plead guilty to the heinous charge of "rejoicing at your +brother's faults and misfortunes." It is not so much, indeed, with +relation to important matters that this feeling is excited within you. +If you hear of your friends being left large fortunes, or forming +connections calculated to promote their happiness, you are not annoyed +or grieved: you may even, perhaps, experience some sensations of +pleasure. If, however, the circumstances of good fortune are brought +more home to yourself, perhaps into collision with yourself, by being of +a more trifling nature, you often experience a regret or annoyance at +the success or the happiness of others, which would be ludicrous, if it +were not so wicked. Neither is there any vice which displays itself so +readily to the keen eye of observation: even when the guarded tongue +restrains the disclosure, the expression of the lip and eye is +unmistakeable, and <a name="Page_63" id="Page_63"></a>gradually impresses a character on the countenance +which remains at times when the feeling itself is quite dormant. Only +contemplate your case in this point of view: is it not, when +dispassionately considered, shocking to think, that when a stranger +hopes to gratify you by the praise, the judicious and well-merited +praise, of your dearest friend, a pang is inflicted on you by the very +words that ought to sound as pleasant music in your ears? I have even +heard some persons so incautious, under such circumstances, as to +qualify the praise that gives them pain, by detracting from the merits +of the person under discussion, though that person be their particular +friend. This is done in a variety of ways: her merits and advantages may +be accounted for by the peculiarly favouring circumstances in which she +has been placed; or different disparaging opinions entertained of her, +by other people better qualified to judge, may also be mentioned. Now, +many persons thus imprudent are by no means utterly foolish at other +times; yet, in the moment of temptation from their besetting sin, they +do not observe how inevitable it is that the stranger so replied to +should immediately detect their unamiable motives, and estimate them +accordingly.</p> + +<p>You will not, perhaps, fall into so open a snare, for you have +sufficient tact and quickness of perception to know that, under such +circumstances, you must, on your own account, bury in your bosom those +emotions of pain which I much fear you will generally feel. It is not, +however, the outward expression of such emotions, but their inward +experience, which is the real question we are considering, both as +regards your <a name="Page_64" id="Page_64"></a>present happiness and your eternal interest. Ask yourself +whether it is a pleasurable sensation, or the contrary, when those you +love (I am still putting a strong case) are admired and appreciated, ire +held up as examples of excellence? If you love truly, if you are free +from envy, such praise will be far sweeter to your ears than any +bestowed on yourself could ever be. Indeed, it might be considered a +sufficient punishment for this vice, to be deprived of the deep and +virtuous sensation of delight experienced by the loving heart when +admiration is warmly expressed for the objects of their affection.</p> + +<p>There has been a time when I should have scornfully rejected the +supposition that such a failing as envy could exist in companionship +with aught that was loveable or amiable. More observation of character +has, however, given me the unpleasant conviction that it occasionally +may be found in the close neighbourhood of contrasting excellences. +Alas! instead of being concealed or gradually overgrown by them, it, on +the contrary, spreads its deadly blight over any noble features that may +have originally existed in the character. Nothing but the severest +discipline, external and internal, can arrest this, its natural course.</p> + +<p>When you were younger, the feelings which I now warn you against were +called jealousy, and even now some indulgent friends may continue to +give them this false name. Do not you suffer the dangerous delusion! +Have the courage to place your feelings in all their natural deformity +before you, and this sight will give you energy to pursue any regimen, +however severe, that may be required to subdue them.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_65" id="Page_65"></a>I do really believe that it is the false name of jealousy that prevents +many an early struggle against the real vice of envy. I have heard young +women even boast of the jealousy of their disposition, insinuating that +it was to be considered as a proof of warm feelings and an affectionate +heart. Perhaps genuine jealousy may deserve to be so considered: the +anxious watching over even imaginary diminution of affection or esteem +in those we love and respect, the vigilance to detect the slightest +external manifestation of any diminution in their tenderness and regard, +though proving a deficiency in that noble faith which is the surest +safeguard and the firmest foundation of love and friendship, may, in +some cases, be an evidence of affection and warmth in the disposition +and the heart. So close, however, is the connection between envy and +jealousy, that the latter in one moment may change into the former. The +most watchful circumspection, therefore, is required, lest that which +is, even in its best form, a weakness and an instrument of misery to +ourselves and others, should still further degenerate into a meanness +and a vice;—as, for instance, when you fear that the person you love +may be induced, by seeing the excellences of another, to withdraw from +you some of the time, admiration, and affection you wish to be +exclusively bestowed upon yourself. In this case, there is a strong +temptation to display the failings of the dreaded rival, or, at the +best, to feel no regret at their chance display. Under such +circumstances, even the excusable jealousy of affection passes over into +the vice of envy. The connection between them is, indeed, dangerously +close; but it is easy to trace the boundary line, <a name="Page_66" id="Page_66"></a>if we are inclined to +do so. Jealousy is contented with the affection and admiration of those +it loves and respects; envy is in despair, if those whom it despises +bestow the least portion of attention or admiration on those whom +perhaps she despises still more. Jealousy inquires only into the +feelings of the few valued ones; envy makes no distinction in her +cravings for universal preference. The very attentions and admiration +which were considered valueless, nay, troublesome, as long as they were +bestowed on herself, become of exceeding importance when they are +transferred to another. Envy would make use of any means whatever to win +back the friend or the admirer whose transferred attentions were +affording pleasure to another. The power of inflicting pain and +disappointment on one whose superiority is envied, bestows on the object +of former indifference, or even contempt, a new and powerful attraction. +This is very wicked, very mean, you will say, and shrink back in horror +from the supposition of any resemblance to such characters as those I +have just described. Alas! your indignation may be honest, but it is +without foundation. Already those earlier symptoms are constantly +appearing, which, if not sternly checked, must in time grow into +hopeless deformity of character. There is nothing that undermines all +virtuous and noble qualities more surely or more insidiously than the +indulged vice of envy. Its unresisting victims become, by degrees, +capable of every species of detraction, until they lose even the very +power of perceiving that which is true. They become, too, incapable of +all generous self-denial and self-sacrifice; feelings of bitterness +towards every successful rival (and there are <a name="Page_67" id="Page_67"></a>few who may not be our +rivals on some one point or other) gradually diffuse themselves +throughout the heart, and leave no place for that love of our neighbour +which the Scriptures have stated to be the test of love to God.<a name="FNanchor_37_37" id="FNanchor_37_37"></a><a href="#Footnote_37_37" class="fnanchor">[37]</a></p> + +<p>Unlike most other vices, envy can never want an opportunity of +indulgence; so that, unless it is early detected and vigilantly +controlled, its rapid growth is inevitable.</p> + +<p>Early detection is the first point; and in that I am most anxious to +assist you. Perhaps, till now, the possibility of your being guilty of +the vice of envy has never entered your thoughts. When any thing +resembling it has forced itself on your notice, you have probably given +it the name of jealousy, and have attributed the painful emotions it +excited to the too tender susceptibilities of your nature. Ridiculous as +such self-deception is, I have seen too many instances of it to doubt +the probability of its existing in your case.</p> + +<p>I am not, in general, an advocate for the minute analysis of mental +emotions: the reality of them most frequently evaporates during the +process, as in anatomy the principle of life escapes during the most +vigilant anatomical examination. In the case, however, of seeking the +detection of a before unknown failing, a strict mental inquiry must +necessarily be instituted. The many great dangers of mental anatomy may +be partly avoided by confining your observations to the external +symptoms, instead of to the state of mind from whence they proceed. This +will be the safer as well as the <a name="Page_68" id="Page_68"></a>more effectual mode of bringing +conviction home to your mind. For instance, I would have you watch the +emotions excited when enthusiastic praise is bestowed upon another, with +relation to those very qualities you are the most anxious should be +admired in yourself. When the conversation or the accomplishments of +another fix the attention which was withheld from your own,—when the +opinion of another, with whom you fancy yourself on an equality, is put +forward as deserving of being followed in preference to your own, I can +imagine you possessed of sufficient self-respect to restrain any +external tokens of envy: you will not insinuate, as meaner spirits would +do, that the beauty, or the dress, or the accomplishments so highly +extolled are preserved, cherished, and cultivated at the expense of +time, kindly feelings, and the duty of almsgiving—that the conversation +is considered by many competent judges flippant, or pedantic, or +presuming—that the opinion cannot be of much value when the conduct has +been in some instances so deficient in prudence.</p> + +<p>These are all remarks which envy may easily find an opportunity of +insinuating against any of its rivals; but, as I said before, I imagine +that you have too much self-respect to manifest openly such feelings, to +reveal such meanness to the eyes of man. Alas! you have not an equal +fear of the all-seeing eye of God. What I apprehend most for you is the +allowing yourself to cherish secretly all these palliative +circumstances, that you may thus reconcile yourself to a superiority +that mortifies you. If you habitually allow yourself in this practice, +it will be almost impossible to avoid feeling pleasure instead of pain +when these same circumstances <a name="Page_69" id="Page_69"></a>happen to be pointed out by others, and +when you have thus all the benefit, and none of the guilt or shame, of +the disclosure. When envy is freely allowed to take these two first +steps, a further progress is inevitable. Self-respect itself will not +long preserve you from outward demonstrations of that which is inwardly +indulged, and you are sure to become in time the object of just contempt +and ridicule. It will soon be well known that the surest way to inflict +pain upon you is to extol the excellences or to dwell on the happiness +of others, and your failings will be considered an amusing subject for +jesting observation to experimentalize upon. I have often watched the +downward progress I have just described; and, unless the grace of God, +working with your own vigorous self-control, should alter your present +frame of mind, I can see no reason why you should escape when others +inevitably fall.</p> + +<p>The circumstance in which this vice manifests itself most painfully and +most dangerously is that of a large family. How deplorable is it, when, +instead of making each separate interest the interest of the whole, and +rejoicing in the love and admiration bestowed on each separate +individual, as if it were bestowed on the whole, such love and such +admiration excite, on the contrary, irritation and regret.</p> + +<p>Among children, this evil seldom attracts notice; if one girl is praised +for dancing or singing much better than her sister, and the sister +taunted into further efforts by insulting comparisons, the poor mistaken +parent little thinks that, in the pain she inflicts on the depreciated +child, she is implanting a perennial root <a name="Page_70" id="Page_70"></a>of danger and sorrow. The +child may cry and sob at the time, and afterward feel uncomfortable in +the presence of one whose superiority has been made the means of +worrying her; and, if envious by nature, she will probably take the +first opportunity of pointing out to the teachers any little error of +her sister's. The permanent injury, however, remains to be effected when +they both grow to woman's estate; the envious sister will then take +every artful opportunity of lessening the influence of the one who is +considered her superior, of insinuating charges against her to those +whose good opinion they both value the most. And she is only too easily +successful; she is successful, that success may bring upon her the +penalty of her sin, for Heaven is then the most incensed against us when +our sin appears to prosper. Various and inexhaustible are the mere +temporal punishments of this sin of envy; of the sin which deprives +another of even one shade of the influence, admiration, and affection, +they would otherwise have enjoyed.</p> + +<p>If the preference of a female friend excites angry and jealous feelings, +the attentions of an admirer are probably still more envied. In some +unhappy families, one may observe the beginning of any such attentions +by the vigilant depreciation of the admirer, and the anxious +man[oe]uvres to prevent any opportunities of cultivating the detected +preference. What prosperity can be hoped for to a family in which the +supposed advantage and happiness of one individual member is feared and +guarded against, instead of being considered an interest belonging to +the whole? You will be shocked at such pictures as these: alas! that +they <a name="Page_71" id="Page_71"></a>should be so frequent even in domestic England, the land of happy +homes and strong family ties. You are of course still more shocked at +hearing that I attribute to yourself any shade of so deadly a vice as +that above described; and as long as you do not attribute it to +yourself, my warning voice will be raised in vain: I am not, however, +without hope that the vigilant self-examination, which your real wish +for improvement will probably soon render habitual, may open your eyes +to your danger while it can still be easily averted. Supposing this to +be the case, I would earnestly suggest to you the following means of +cure. First, earnest prayer against this particular sin, earnest prayer +to be brought into "a higher moral atmosphere," one of unfeigned love to +our neighbour, one of rejoicing with all who do rejoice, "and weeping +with those who weep." This general habit is of the greatest importance +to cultivate: we should strive naturally and instinctively to feel +pleasure when another is loved, or praised, or fortunate; we should try +to strengthen our sympathies, to make the feelings of others, as much as +possible, our own. Many an early emotion of envy might be instantly +checked by throwing one's self into the position of the envied one, and +exerting the imagination to conceive vividly the pleasure or the pain +she must experience: this will, even at the time, make us forgetful of +self, and will gradually bring us into the habit of feeling for the pain +and pleasure of others, as if we really believed them to be members of +the same mystical body.<a name="FNanchor_38_38" id="FNanchor_38_38"></a><a href="#Footnote_38_38" class="fnanchor">[38]</a> We should, in the next place, attack the +symptoms of the vice we wish to eradicate; we should seek <a name="Page_72" id="Page_72"></a>by reasonable +considerations to realize the absurdity of our envy: for this, nothing +is more essential than the ascertaining of our own level, and fairly +making up our minds to the certain superiority of others. As soon as +this is distinctly acknowledged, much of the pain of the inferior +estimation in which we are held will be removed: "There is no disgrace +in being eclipsed by Jupiter." Next, let us examine into the details of +the law of compensation—one which is never infringed; let us consider +that the very superiority of others involves many unpleasantnesses, of a +kind, perhaps, the most disagreeable to us. For instance, it often +involves the necessity of a sacrifice of time and feelings, and almost +invariably creates an isolation,—consequences from which we, perhaps, +should fearfully shrink. On the brilliant conversationist is inflicted +the penalty of never enjoying a rest in society: her expected employment +is to amuse others, not herself; the beauty is the dread of all the +jealous wives and anxious mothers, and the object of a notice which is +almost incompatible with happiness: I never saw a happy beauty, did you? +The great genius is shunned and feared by, perhaps, the very people whom +she is most desirous to attract; the exquisite musician is asked into +society <i>en artiste</i>, expected to contribute a certain species of +amusement, the world refusing to receive any other from her. The woman +who is surrounded by admirers is often wearied to death of attentions +which lose all their charm with their novelty, and which frequently +serve to deprive her of the only affection she really values. Experience +will convince you of the great truth, that there is a law of +compensation in all things. The same law also holds <a name="Page_73" id="Page_73"></a>good with regard to +the preferences shown to those who have no superiority over us, who are +nothing more than our equals in beauty, in cleverness, in +accomplishments. If Ellen B. or Lydia C. is liked more than you are by +one person, you, in your turn, will be preferred by another; no one who +seeks for affection and approbation, and who really deserves it, ever +finally fails of acquiring it. You have no right to expect that every +one should like you the best: if you considered such expectations in the +abstract, you would be forced to acknowledge their absurdity. Besides, +would it not be a great annoyance to you to give up your time and +attention to conversing with, or writing to, the very people whose +preference you envy for Ellen B. or Lydia C.? They are suited to each +other, and like each other: in good time, you will meet with people who +suit you, and who will consequently like you; nay, perhaps at this +present moment, you may have many friends who delight in your society, +and admire your character: will you lose the pleasure which such +blessings are intended to confer, by envying the preferences shown to +others? Bring the subject distinctly and clearly home to your mind. +Whenever you feel an emotion of pain, have the courage to trace it to +its source, place this emotion in all its meanness before you, then +think how ridiculous it would appear to you if you contemplated it in +another. Finally, ask yourself whether there can be any indulgence of +such feelings in a heart that is bringing into captivity every thought +to the obedience of Christ,—whether there can be any room for them in a +temple of God wherein the spirit of God dwelleth.<a name="FNanchor_39_39" id="FNanchor_39_39"></a><a href="#Footnote_39_39" class="fnanchor">[39]</a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_V" id="LETTER_V"></a><a name="Page_74" id="Page_74"></a>LETTER V.</h2> + +<h3>SELFISHNESS AND UNSELFISHNESS.</h3> + + +<p>This is a difficult subject to address you upon, and one which you will +probably reject as unsuited to yourself. There are few qualities that +the possessor is less likely to be conscious of than either selfishness +or unselfishness; because the actions proceeding from either are so +completely instinctive, so unregulated by any appeal to principle, that +they never, in the common course of things, attract any particular +notice. We go on, therefore, strengthening ourselves in the habits of +either, until a double nature, as it were, is formed, overlaying the +first, and equally powerful with it. How unlovely is this in the case of +selfishness, even where there are, besides, fine and striking features +in the general character, and how lovely in the case of unselfishness, +even when, as too frequently happens, there is little comparative +strength or nobleness in its intellectual and moral accompaniments!</p> + +<p>You are now young, you are affectionate, good-natured, obliging, +possessed of gay and happy spirits, and a sweetness of temper that is +seldom seen united with so much sparkling wit and lively sensibilities. +Altogether, then, you are considered a very attractive person, and, in +the love which all those qualities have won for you from those around +you, may bring forward strong evidence against my charge of selfishness. +But <a name="Page_75" id="Page_75"></a>is not this love more especially felt by those who are not brought +into daily and hourly collision with you. They only see you bright with +good-humour, ready to talk, to laugh, and to make merry with them in any +way they please. They therefore, in all probability, do not think you +selfish. Are you certain, however, that the estimate formed of you by +your nearest relatives will not be the estimate formed of you by even +acquaintance some years hence, when lessened good-humour and +strengthened habits of selfishness have brought out into more striking +relief the natural faults of your character?</p> + +<p>The selfishness of the gay, amusing, good-humoured girl is often +unobserved, almost always tolerated; but when youth, beauty, and +vivacity are gone, the vice appears in its native deformity, and she who +indulges it becomes as unlovely as unloved. It is for the future you +have cause to fear,—a future for which you are preparing gloom and +dislike by the habits you are now forming in the small details of daily +life, as well as in the pleasurable excitements of social intercourse. +As I said before, these, at present almost imperceptible, habits are +unheeded by those who are only your acquaintance: but they are not the +less sowing the seeds of future unhappiness for you. You will, +assuredly, at some period or other, reap in dislike what you are now +sowing in selfishness. If, however, the warning voice of an "unknown +friend" is attended to, there is yet time to complete a comparatively +easy victory over this, your besetting sin; while, on the contrary, +every week and every month's delay, by riveting more strongly the chains +of habit, increases <a name="Page_76" id="Page_76"></a>at once your difficulties and your consequent +discouragement.</p> + +<p>This day, this very hour, the conflict ought to begin: but, alas! how +may this be, when you are not yet even aware of the existence of that +danger which I warn you. It is most truly "a part of sin to be +unconscious of itself."<a name="FNanchor_40_40" id="FNanchor_40_40"></a><a href="#Footnote_40_40" class="fnanchor">[40]</a> It will also be doubly difficult to effect +the necessary preliminary of convincing you of selfishness, when I am so +situated as not to be able to point out to you with certainty any +particular act indicative of the vice in question. This obliges me to +enter into more varied details, to touch a thousand different strings, +in the hope that, among so many, I may by chance touch upon the right +one.</p> + +<p>Now, it is a certain fact, that in such inquiries as the present, our +enemies may be of much more use to us than our friends. They may, they +generally do, exaggerate our faults, but the exaggeration gives them a +relief and depth of colouring which may enable the accusation to force +its way through the dimness and heavy-sightedness of our self-deception. +Examine yourself, then, with respect to those accusations which others +bring against you in moments of anger and excitement; place yourself in +the situation of the injured party, and ask yourself whether you would +not attach tho blame of selfishness to similar conduct in another +person. For instance, you may perhaps be seated in a comfortable chair +by a comfortable fire, reading an interesting book, and a brother or +sister comes in to request that you will help them in packing something, +<a name="Page_77" id="Page_77"></a>or writing something that must be finished at a certain time, and that +cannot be done without your assistance: the interruption alone, at a +critical part of the story, or in the middle of an abstruse and +interesting argument, is enough to irritate your temper and to +disqualify you for listening with an unprejudiced ear to the request +that is made to you. You answer, probably, in a tone of irritation; you +say that it is impossible, that the business ought to have been attended +to earlier, and that they could then have concluded it without your +assistance; or perhaps you rise and go with them, and execute the thing +to be done in a most ungracious manner, with a pouting lip and a surly +tone, insinuating, too, for days afterwards, how much you had been +annoyed and inconvenienced. The case would have been different if a +stranger had made the request of you, or a friend, or any one but a near +and probably very dear relative. In the former case, there would have +been, first, the excitement which always in some degree distinguishes +social from mere family intercourse; there would have been the wish to +keep up their good opinion of your character, which they may have been +deluded into considering the very reverse of unselfish. Lastly, their +thanks would of course be more warm than those which you are likely to +receive from a relative, (who instinctively feels it to be your duty to +help in the family labours,) and thus your vanity would have been +sufficiently gratified to reconcile you to the trouble and interruption +to which you had been exposed.</p> + +<p>Still further, it is, perhaps, only to your own family that you would +have indulged in that introductory <a name="Page_78" id="Page_78"></a>irritation of which I have spoken. +We have all witnessed cases in which inexcusable excitement has been +displayed towards relatives or servants who have announced unpleasant +interruptions, in the shape of an unwelcome visitor; while the moment +afterwards the real offender has been greeted with an unclouded brow and +a warm welcome, she not having the misfortune of being so closely +connected with you as the innocent victim of your previous ill-temper.</p> + +<p>I enter into these details, not because they are necessarily connected +with selfishness, for many unselfish, generous-minded people are the +unfortunate victims of ill-temper, to which vice the preceding traits of +character more peculiarly belong; but for the purpose of showing you +that your conduct towards strangers can be no test of your +unselfishness. It is only in the more trying details of daily life that +the existence of the vice or the virtue can be evidenced. It is, +nevertheless, upon qualities so imperceptible to yourself as to require +this close scrutiny that most of the happiness and comfort of domestic +life depends.</p> + +<p>You know the story of the watch that had been long out of order, and the +cause of its irregularity not to be discovered. At length, one +watchmaker, more ingenious than the rest, suggested that a magnet might, +by some chance, have touched the mainspring. This was ascertained by +experiment to have been the case; the casual and temporary neighbourhood +of a magnet had deranged the whole complicated machinery: and on equally +imperceptible, often undiscoverable, trifles does the healthy movement +of the mainspring of domestic happiness depend. Observe, then, +carefully, <a name="Page_79" id="Page_79"></a>every irregularity in its motion, and exercise your +ingenuity to discover the cause in good time; the derangement may +otherwise soon become incurable, both by the strengthening of your own +habits, and the dispositions towards you which they will impress on the +minds of others.</p> + +<p>Do let me entreat you, then, to watch yourself during the course of even +this one day,—first, for the purpose of ascertaining whether my +accusation of selfishness is or is not well founded, and afterwards, for +the purpose of seeking to eradicate from your character every taint of +so unlovely, and, for the credit of the sex, I may add, so unfeminine a +failing.</p> + +<p>Before we proceed further on this subject, I must attempt to lay down a +definition of selfishness, lest you should suppose that I am so mistaken +as to confound with the vice above named that self-love, which is at +once an allowable instinct and a positive duty.</p> + +<p>Selfishness, then, I consider as a perversion of the natural and +divinely-impressed instinct of self-love. It is a desire for things +which are not really good for us, followed by an endeavour to obtain +those things to the injury of our neighbour.<a name="FNanchor_41_41" id="FNanchor_41_41"></a><a href="#Footnote_41_41" class="fnanchor">[41]</a> Where a sacrifice which +benefits your neighbour can inflict no <i>real</i> injury on yourself, it +would be selfishness not to make the sacrifice. On the contrary, where +either one or the other must suffer an equal injury, (equal in all +points of view—in permanence, in powers of endurance, &c.,) self-love +requires that you should here prefer yourself. You have no right to +sacrifice your own health, your <a name="Page_80" id="Page_80"></a>own happiness, or your own life, to +preserve the health, or the life, or the happiness of another; for none +of these things are your own: they are only entrusted to your +stewardship, to be made the best use of for God's glory. Your health is +given you that you may have the free disposal of all your mental and +bodily powers to employ them in his service; your happiness, that you +may have energy to diffuse peace and cheerfulness around you; your life, +that you may "work out your salvation with fear and trembling." We read +of fine sacrifices of the kind I deprecate in novels and romances: we +may admire them in heathen story; but with such sacrifices the real +Christian has no concern. He must not give away that which is not his +own. "Ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, +and in your spirit, which are God's."<a name="FNanchor_42_42" id="FNanchor_42_42"></a><a href="#Footnote_42_42" class="fnanchor">[42]</a></p> + +<p>In the case of a sacrifice of life—one which, of course, can very +rarely occur,—the dangerous results of thus, as it were, taking events +out of the hand of God cannot be always visible to our sight at present: +we should, however, contemplate what they might possibly be. Let us, +then, consider the injury that may result to the self-sacrificer, +throughout the countless ages of eternity, from the loss of that +working-time of hours, days, and years, wilfully flung from him for the +uncertain benefit of another. Yes, uncertain, for the person may at that +time have been in a state of greater meetness for heaven than he will +ever again enjoy: there may be future fearful temptations, and +consequent falling into sin, from which he would have been <a name="Page_81" id="Page_81"></a>preserved if +his death had taken place when the providence of God seemed to will it. +Of course, none of us can, by the most wilful disobedience, dispose +events in any way but exactly that which his hand and his counsel have +determined before the foundation of the world;<a name="FNanchor_43_43" id="FNanchor_43_43"></a><a href="#Footnote_43_43" class="fnanchor">[43]</a> but when we go out of +the narrow path of duty, we attempt, as far as in us lies, to reverse +his unchangeable decrees, and we "have our reward;" we mar our own +welfare, and that of others, when we make any effort to take the +providing for it out of the hands of the Omnipotent.</p> + +<p>It is, however, only for the establishment of a principle that it could +be necessary to discuss the duties involved in such rare emergencies. I +shall therefore proceed without further delay to the more common +sacrifices of which I have spoken, and explain to you what I mean by +such sacrifices.</p> + +<p>I have alluded to those of health and happiness. We have all known the +first wilfully thrown away by needless attendance on such sick friends +as would have been equally well taken care of had servants or hired +nurses shared in the otherwise overpowering labour. Often is this labour +found to incapacitate the nurse-tending friend for fulfilling towards +the convalescent those offices in which no menial could supply her place +—such as the cheering of the drooping spirit, the selection and patient +perusal of amusing books, an animated, amusing companionship in their +walks and drives, the humouring of their sick fancy—a sickness that +often increases as that of the body decreases. For all these <a name="Page_82" id="Page_82"></a>trying +duties, during the often long and always painfully tedious period of +convalescence, the nightly watcher of the sick-bed has, it is most +likely, unfitted herself. The affection and devotion which were useless +and unheeded during days and nights of stupor and delirium have probably +by this time worn out the weak body which they have been exciting to +efforts beyond its strength, so that it is now incapable of more useful +demonstrations of attachment. Far be it from me to depreciate that fond, +devoted watching of love, which is sometimes even a compensation to the +invalid for the sufferings of sickness, at periods, too, when hired +attendance could not be tolerated. Here woman's love and devotion are +often brightly shown. The natural impulses of her heart lead her to +trample under foot all consideration of personal danger, fatigue, or +weakness, when the need of her loved ones demands her exertions.</p> + +<p>This, however, is comparatively easy; it is only following the instincts +of her loving nature never to leave the sick room, where all her +anxiety, all her hopes and fears are centred,—never to breathe the +fresh air of heaven,—never to mingle in the social circle,—never to +rest the weary limbs, or close the languid eye. The excitement of love +and anxiety makes all this easy as long as the anxiety itself lasts: but +when danger is removed, and the more trying duties of tending the +convalescent begin, the genuine devotion of self-denial and +unselfishness is put to the test.</p> + +<p>Nothing is more difficult than to bear with patience the apparently +unreasonable depression and ever-varying whims of the peevish +convalescent, whose powers <a name="Page_83" id="Page_83"></a>of self-control have been prostrated by long +bodily exhaustion. Nothing is more trying than to find anxious exertions +for their comfort and amusement, either entirely unnoticed and useless, +or met with petulant contradiction and ungrateful irritation. Those who +have themselves experienced the helplessness caused by disease well know +how bitterly the trial is shared by the invalid herself. How deeply she +often mourns over the unreasonableness and irritation she is without +power to control, and what tears of anguish she sheds in secret over +those acts of neglect and words of unkindness her own ill-humour and +apparent ingratitude have unintentionally provoked.</p> + +<p>Those who feel the sympathy of experience will surely wish, under all +such circumstances, to exercise untiring patience and unremitting +attention; but, however strong this wish may be, they cannot execute +their purpose if their own health has been injured by previous +unnecessary watchings, by exclusion from fresh air and exercise. Those +whose nervous system has been thus unstrung will never be equal to the +painful exertion which the recovering invalid now requires. How much +better it would have been for her if walks and sleep had been taken at +times when an attentive nurse would have done just as well to sit at the +bedside, when absence would have been unnoticed, or only temporarily +regretted! This prudent, and, we must remember, generally self-denying +care of one's self, would have averted the future bodily illness or +nervous depression of the nurse of the convalescent, at a time too when +the latter has become painfully alive to every look and word, as well as +act, of diminished attention <a name="Page_84" id="Page_84"></a>and watchfulness; you will surely feel +deep self-reproach if, from any cause, you are unable to control your +own temper, and to bear with cheerful patience the petulance of hers.</p> + +<p>I have dwelt so long on this part of my subject, because I think it very +probable that, with your warm affections, and before your selfishness +has been hardened by habits of self-indulgence, you might some time or +other fall into the error I have been describing. In the ardour of your +anxiety for some beloved relative, you may be induced to persevere in +such close attendance on the sick-bed as may seriously injure your own +health, and unfit you for more useful, and certainly more self-denying +exertion afterwards. How much easier is it to spend days and nights by +the sick-bed of one from whom we are in hourly dread of a final +separation, whose helpless and suffering state excites the strongest +feelings of compassion and anxiety, than to sit by the sofa, or walk by +the side, of the same invalid when she has regained just sufficient +strength to experience discomfort in every thing;—when she never finds +her sofa arranged or placed to her satisfaction; is never pleased with +the carriage, or the drive, or the walk you have chosen; is never +interested in the book or the conversation with which you anxiously and +laboriously try to amuse her. Here it is that woman's power of +endurance, that the real strength and nobleness of her character is put +to the most difficult test. Well, too, has this test been borne: right +womanly has been the conduct of many a loving wife, mother, and sister, +under the trying circumstances above described. Woman alone, perhaps, +can steadily maintain the clear <a name="Page_85" id="Page_85"></a>vision of what the beloved one really +is, and can patiently view the wearisome ebullitions of ill-temper and +discontent as symptoms equally physical with a cough or a hectic flush.</p> + +<p>This noble picture of self-control can be realized only by those who +keep even the best instincts of a woman's nature under the government of +strict principle, remembering that the most beautiful of these instincts +may not be followed without guidance or restraint. Those who yield to +such instincts without reflection and self-denial will exhaust their +energies before the time comes for the fulfilment of duties.</p> + +<p>The third branch of my subject is the most difficult. It may, indeed, +appear strange that we should not have the right to sacrifice our own +happiness: that surely belongs to us to dispose of, if nothing else +does. Besides, happiness is evidently not the state of being intended +for us here below; and that much higher state of mind from which all +"<i>hap</i>"<a name="FNanchor_44_44" id="FNanchor_44_44"></a><a href="#Footnote_44_44" class="fnanchor">[44]</a> is excluded—viz. blessedness—is seldom granted unless the +other is altogether withdrawn.</p> + +<p>You must, however, observe that this blessedness is only granted when +the lower state—that of happiness—could not be preserved except by a +positive breach of duty, or when it is withheld or destroyed by the +immediate interposition of God Himself, as in the case of death, +separation, incurable disease, &c. Under any of the above circumstances, +we have the sure promise of God, "As thy days are, so shall thy strength +be." The lost and mourned happiness will not be allowed to deprive us of +the powers of rejoicing in hope, and <a name="Page_86" id="Page_86"></a>serving God in peace; also of +diffusing around us the cheerfulness and contentment which is one of the +most important of our Christian duties. These privileges, however, we +must not expect to enjoy, if, by a mistaken unselfishness, (often deeply +stained with pride,) we sacrifice to another the happiness that lay in +our own path, and which may, in reality, be prejudicial to them, as it +was not intended for them by Providence: while, on the contrary, it may +have been by the same Providence intended for us as the necessary drop +of sweetness in the otherwise overpowering bitterness of our earthly +cup.</p> + +<p>We take, as it were, the disposal of our fate out of the hands of God as +much when we refuse the happiness He sends us as when we turn aside from +the path of duty on account of some rough passage we see there before +us. Good and evil both come from the hands of the Lord. We should be +watchful to receive every thing exactly in the way He sees it fit for +us.</p> + +<p>Experience, as well as theory, confirms the truth of the above +assertions. Consider even your own case with relation to any sacrifice +of your own real happiness to the supposed happiness of another. I can +imagine this possible even in a selfish disposition, not yet hardened. +Your good-nature, warm feelings, and pride (in you a powerfully +actuating principle) may have at times induced you to make, in moments +of excitement, sacrifices of which you have not fully "counted the +cost." Let us, then, examine this point in relation to yourself, and to +the petty sacrifices of daily life. If you have allowed others to +encroach too much on your time, if you have given up to them your +innocent <a name="Page_87" id="Page_87"></a>pleasures, your improving pursuits, and favourite companions, +has this indulgence of their selfishness really added to their +happiness? Has it not rather been unobserved, except so far to increase +the unreasonableness of their expectations from you, to make them angry +when it at last becomes necessary to resist their advanced +encroachments? On your own side, too, has it not rather tended to +irritate you against people whom you formerly liked, because you are +suffering from the daily and hourly pressure of the sacrifices you have +imprudently made for them? Believe me, there can be no peace or +happiness in domestic life without a <i>bien entendu</i> self-love, which +will be found by intelligent experience to be a preservative from +selfishness, instead of a manifestation of it.</p> + +<p>From all that I have already said, you will, I hope, infer that I am not +likely to recommend any extravagant social sacrifices, or to bring you +in guilty of selfishness for actions not really deserving of the name. +Indeed, I have said so much on the other side, that I may now have some +difficulty in proving that, while defending self-love, I have not been +defending you. We must therefore go back to my former definition of +selfishness—namely, a seeking for ourselves that which is not our real +good, to the neglect of all consideration for that which is the real +good of others. This is viewing the subject <i>an grand</i>,—a very general +definition, indeed, but not a vague one, for all the following +illustrations from the minor details of life may clearly be referred +under this head.</p> + +<p>These are the sort of illustrations I always prefer—they come home so +much more readily to the heart and <a name="Page_88" id="Page_88"></a>mind. Will not some of the following +come home to you? The indulgence of your indolence by sending a tired +person on a message when you are very well able to go yourself—sending +a servant away from her work which she has to finish within a certain +time—keeping your maid standing to bestow much more than needful +decoration on your dress, hair, &c., at a time when she is weak or +tired—driving one way for your own mere amusement, when it is a real +inconvenience to your companion not to go another—expressing or acting +on a disinclination to accompany your friend or sister when she cannot +go alone—refusing to give up a book that is always within your reach to +another who may have only this opportunity of reading it—walking too +far or too fast, to the serious annoyance of a tired or delicate +companion—refusing, or only consenting with ill-humour, to write a +letter, or to do a piece of work, or to entertain a visitor, or to pay a +visit, when the person whose more immediate business it is, has, from +want of time, and not from idleness or laziness, no power to do what she +requests of you—dwelling on all the details of a painful subject, for +the mere purpose of giving vent to and thus relieving your own feelings, +though it may be by the harrowing up of those of others who are less +able to bear it. All these are indeed trifles—but</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span>Trifles make the sum of human things,<a name="FNanchor_45_45" id="FNanchor_45_45"></a><a href="#Footnote_45_45" class="fnanchor">[45]</a><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>and are sure to occur every day, and to form the character into such +habits as will fit or unfit it for great proofs of unselfishness, should +such be ever called for. Besides, it is on trifles such as these that +the smoothness <a name="Page_89" id="Page_89"></a>of "the current of domestic joy" depends. It is a +smoothness that is easily disturbed: do not let your hand be the one to +do it.</p> + +<p>In all the trifling instances of selfishness above enumerated, I have +generally supposed that a request has been made to you, and that you +have not the trouble of finding out the exact manner in which you can +conquer selfishness for the advantage of your neighbour. I must now, +however, remind you that one of the penalties incurred by past +indulgence in selfishness is this, that those who love you will not +continue to make those requests which you have been in the habit of +refusing, or, if you ever complied with them, of reminding the obliged +person, from time to time, how much serious inconvenience your +compliance has subjected you to. This, I fear, may have been your habit; +for selfish people exaggerate so much every "little" (by "the good man") +"nameless, unremembered act," that they never consider them gratefully +enough impressed on the heart of the receiver without frequent reminders +from themselves. If such has been the case, you must not expect the +frank, confiding request, the entire trust in your willingness to make +any not unreasonable sacrifice, with which the unselfish are gratified +and rewarded, and for which perhaps you often envy them, though you +would not take the trouble to deserve the same confidence yourself. Even +should you now begin the attempt, and begin it in all earnestness, it +will take some time to establish your new character. <i>En attendant</i>, you +must be on the watch for opportunities of obliging others, for they will +not be freely offered to you; you must now exercise your own +<a name="Page_90" id="Page_90"></a>observation to find out what they would once have frankly told +you,—whether you are tiring people physically or distressing them +morally, or putting them to practical inconvenience. I do not make the +extravagant supposition that all those with whom you associate have +attained to Christian perfection; the proud and the resentful, as well +as the delicate-minded, will suffer much rather than repeat appeals to +your unselfishness which have often before been disregarded. They may +exercise the Christian duty of forgiveness in other ways, but this is +the most difficult of all. Few can attain to it, and you must not hope +it.</p> + +<p>Finally; I wish to warn you against believing those who tell you that +such minute analysis of motives, such scrutiny into the smallest details +of daily conduct, has a tendency to produce an unhealthy +self-consciousness. This might, indeed, be true, if the original state +of your nature, before the examination began, were a healthy one. "If +Adam had always remained in Paradise, there would have been no anatomy +and no metaphysics:" as it is not so, we require both. Sin has entered +the world, and death by sin; and therefore it is that both soul and body +require a care and a minute watchfulness that cannot, in the present +state of things, originate either disease or sin. They have both existed +before.</p> + +<p>No one ever became or can become selfish by a prayerful examination into +the fact of being so or not. In matters of mere feeling, it is indeed +dangerous to scrutinize too narrowly the degree and the nature of our +emotions. We have no standard by which to try them. If a medical man +cannot be trusted to ascertain <a name="Page_91" id="Page_91"></a>correctly the state of his own pulse, +how much more difficult is it for the amateur to sit in judgment on the +strength and number of the pulsations of his own heart and mind.</p> + +<p>The case is quite different when feelings manifest themselves in overt +acts: then they become of a nature requiring and susceptible of minute +analyzation. This is the self-scrutiny I recommend to you.</p> + +<p>May you be led to seek earnestly for help from above to overcome the +hydra of selfishness, and may you be encouraged, by that freely offered +help, to exert your own energies to the utmost!</p> + +<p>Let me urge on your especial attention the following verses from the +Bible on the subjects which we have been considering. If you selected +each one of these for a week's <i>practice</i>, making it at once a question, +a warning, and a direction, it would be a tangible, so to speak, use of +the Holy Scriptures, that has been found profitable to many:—</p> + +<p>"We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and +not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbour for +his good to edification. Even Christ pleased not himself."<a name="FNanchor_46_46" id="FNanchor_46_46"></a><a href="#Footnote_46_46" class="fnanchor">[46]</a></p> + +<p>"The Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister."<a name="FNanchor_47_47" id="FNanchor_47_47"></a><a href="#Footnote_47_47" class="fnanchor">[47]</a></p> + +<p>"He died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto +themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again."<a name="FNanchor_48_48" id="FNanchor_48_48"></a><a href="#Footnote_48_48" class="fnanchor">[48]</a></p> + +<p>"Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things +of others."<a name="FNanchor_49_49" id="FNanchor_49_49"></a><a href="#Footnote_49_49" class="fnanchor">[49]</a></p> + +<p>"<a name="Page_92" id="Page_92"></a>Let all your things be done with charity."<a name="FNanchor_50_50" id="FNanchor_50_50"></a><a href="#Footnote_50_50" class="fnanchor">[50]</a></p> + +<p>"By love serve one another."<a name="FNanchor_51_51" id="FNanchor_51_51"></a><a href="#Footnote_51_51" class="fnanchor">[51]</a></p> + +<p>"But as touching brotherly love, ye need not that I write unto you, for +ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another."<a name="FNanchor_52_52" id="FNanchor_52_52"></a><a href="#Footnote_52_52" class="fnanchor">[52]</a></p> + +<p>"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in +deed and in truth."<a name="FNanchor_53_53" id="FNanchor_53_53"></a><a href="#Footnote_53_53" class="fnanchor">[53]</a></p> + +<p>"Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his +neighbour, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."<a name="FNanchor_54_54" id="FNanchor_54_54"></a><a href="#Footnote_54_54" class="fnanchor">[54]</a></p> + +<p>"All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so +to them."<a name="FNanchor_55_55" id="FNanchor_55_55"></a><a href="#Footnote_55_55" class="fnanchor">[55]</a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_VI" id="LETTER_VI"></a><a name="Page_93" id="Page_93"></a>LETTER VI.</h2> + +<h3>SELF-CONTROL.</h3> + + +<p>You will probably think it strange that I should consider it necessary +to address you, of all others, upon the subject of self-control,—you +who are by nature so placid and gentle, so dignified and refined, that +you have never been known to display any of the outbreaks of temper +which sometimes disgrace the conduct of your companions.</p> + +<p>You compare yourself with others, and probably cannot help admiring your +superiority. You have, besides, so often listened to the assurances of +your friends that your temper is one that cannot be disturbed, that you +may think self-control the very last point to which your attention +needed to be directed. Self-control, however, has relation to many +things besides mere temper. In your case I readily believe that to be of +singular sweetness, though even in your case the temper itself may still +require self-control. You will esteem it perhaps a paradox when I tell +you that the very causes which preserve your temper in an external state +of equability, your refinement of mind, your self-respect, your delicate +reserve, your abhorrence of every thing unfeminine and ungraceful, may +produce exactly the contrary effect on your feelings, and provoke +internally a great deal of contempt and dislike for those <a name="Page_94" id="Page_94"></a>whose conduct +transgresses from your exalted ideas of excellence.</p> + +<p>On your own account you would not allow any unkind word to express such +feelings as I have described, but you cannot or do not conceal them in +the expression of your features, in the very tones of your voice. You +further allow them free indulgence in the depths of your heart; in its +secret recesses you make no allowances for the inferiority of people so +differently constituted, educated, and disciplined from +yourself,—people whom, instead of despising and avoiding, you ought +certainly to pity, and, if possible, to sympathize with.</p> + +<p>In this respect, therefore, the control which I recommend to you has +reference even to your much vaunted temper, for though any outward +display of ill-breeding and petulance might be much more opposed to your +respect for yourself, any inward indulgence of the same feelings must be +equally displeasing in the sight of God, and nearly as prejudicial to +the passing on of your spirit towards being "perfect, even as your +Father which is in heaven is perfect."<a name="FNanchor_56_56" id="FNanchor_56_56"></a><a href="#Footnote_56_56" class="fnanchor">[56]</a></p> + +<p>Besides, though there may be no outbreak of ill-temper at the time your +annoyance is excited, nor any external manifestation of contempt even in +your expressive countenance, you will certainly be unable to preserve +kindness and respect of manner towards those whose errors and failings +are not met by internal self-control. You will be contemptuously +heedless of the assertions of those whose prevarication you have even +<a name="Page_95" id="Page_95"></a>once experienced; those who have once taunted you with obligation will +never be again allowed to confer a favour upon you; you will avoid all +future intercourse with those whose unkind and taunting words have +wounded your refinement and self-respect. All this would contribute to +the formation of a fine character in a romance, for every thing that I +have spoken of implies your own truth and honesty, your generous nature, +your delicate and sensitive habits of mind, your dread of inflicting +pain. For all these admirable qualities I give you full credit, and, as +I said before, they would make an heroic character in a romance. In real +life, however, they, every one of them, require strict self-control to +form either a Christian character, or one that will confer peace and +happiness. You may be all that I have described, and I believe you to be +so, while, at the same time your severe judgments and unreasonable +expectations may be productive of unceasing discomfort to yourself and +all around you. Your friends plainly see that you expect too much from +them, that you are annoyed when their duller perceptions can discover no +grounds for your annoyance, that you decline their offers of service +when they are not made in exactly the refined manner your imagination +requires. Your annoyance may seldom or never express itself in words, +but it is nevertheless perceptible in the restraint of your manner, in +your carelessness of sympathy on any point with those who generally +differ from you, in the very tone of your voice, in the whole character +of your conversation. Gradually the gulf becomes wider and wider that +separates you from those among whom it has pleased God that your lot +should be cast.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_96" id="Page_96"></a>You cannot yet be at all sensible of the dangers I am now pointing out +to you. You cannot yet understand the consequences of your present want +of self-control in this particular point. The light of the future alone +can waken them out of present darkness into distinct and fatal +prominence.</p> + +<p>Habit has not yet formed into an isolating chain that refinement of mind +and loftiness of character which your want of self-control may convert +into misfortunes instead of blessings. Whenever, even now, a sense of +total want of sympathy forces itself upon you, you console yourself with +such thoughts as these: "Sheep herd together, eagles fly alone,"<a name="FNanchor_57_57" id="FNanchor_57_57"></a><a href="#Footnote_57_57" class="fnanchor">[57]</a>&c.</p> + +<p>Small consolation this, even for the pain your loneliness inflicts on +yourself, still less for the breach of duties it involves.</p> + +<p>There must, besides, be much danger in a habit of mind that leads you to +attribute to your own superiority those very unpleasantnesses which +would have no existence if that superiority were more complete. For, in +truth, if your spiritual nature asserted its due authority over the +animal, you would habitually exercise the power which is freely offered +you, of supreme control over the hidden movements of your heart as well +as over the outward expression of the lips.</p> + +<p>I would strongly urge you to consider every evidence of your +isolation—of your want of sympathy with others—as marks of moral +inferiority; then, from your conscientiousness of mind, you would seek +anxiously to discover the causes of such isolation, and you would +endeavour to remove them.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_97" id="Page_97"></a>Nothing is more difficult than the perpetual self-control necessary for +this purpose. Constant watchfulness is required to subdue every feeling +of superiority in the contemplation of your own character, and constant +watchfulness to look upon the words and actions of others through, as it +were, a rose-coloured medium. The mind of man has been aptly compared to +cut glass, which reflects the very same light in various colours as well +as different shapes, according to the forms of the glass. Display then +the mental superiority of which you are justly conscious, by moulding +your mind into such forms as will represent the words and actions of +others in the most favourable point of view. The same illustration will +serve to suggest the best manner of making allowances for those whose +minds are unmanageable, because uneducated and undisciplined. They +cannot <i>see</i> things in the same point of view that you do; how +unreasonable then is it of you to expect that they should form the same +estimate of them.</p> + +<p>Let us now enter into the more minute details of this subject, and +consider the many opportunities for self-control which may arise in the +course of even this one day. I will begin with moral evil.</p> + +<p>You may hear falsehoods asserted, you may hear your friend traduced, you +may hear unfair and exaggerated statements of the conduct of others, +given to the very people with whom they are most anxious to stand well. +These are trials to which you may be often exposed, even in domestic +life; and their judicious management, the comparative advantages to +one's friends or one's self of silence or defence, will require <a name="Page_98" id="Page_98"></a>your +calmest judgment and your soundest discretion; qualities which of course +cannot be brought into action without complete self-control. I can +hardly expect, or, indeed, wish that you should hear the falsehoods of +which I have spoken without some risings of indignation; these, however, +must be subdued for your friend's sake as well as your own. You would +think it right to conquer feelings of anger and revenge if you were +yourself unjustly accused, and though the other excitement may bear the +appearance of more generosity, you must on reflection admit that it is +equally your duty to subdue such feelings when they are aroused by the +injuries inflicted on a friend. The happy safeguard, the <i>instinctive</i> +test, by which the well-regulated and comparatively innocent mind may +safely try the right or the wrong of every indignant feeling is this: so +far as the feeling is painful, so far is it tainted with sin. To "be +angry and sin not,"<a name="FNanchor_58_58" id="FNanchor_58_58"></a><a href="#Footnote_58_58" class="fnanchor">[58]</a> there must be no pain in the anger: pain and sin +cannot be separated: there may indeed be sorrow, but this is to be +carefully distinguished from pain. The above is a test which, after +close examination and experience, you will find to be a safe and true +one. Whenever they are thus safe and true, our instinctive feelings +ought to be gratefully made use of; thus even our animal nature may be +made to come to the assistance of our spiritual nature, against which it +is too often arrayed in successful opposition.</p> + +<p>I have spoken of the exceeding difficulty of exercising self-control +under such trying circumstances as those <a name="Page_99" id="Page_99"></a>above described, and this +difficulty will, I candidly confess, be likely to increase in proportion +to your own honesty and generosity. Be comforted, however, by this +consideration, that, conflict being the only means of forming the +character into excellence, and your natural amiability averting from you +many of the usual opportunities for exercising self-control, you would +be in want of the former essential ingredient in spiritual discipline +did not your very virtues procure it for you.</p> + +<p>While, however, I allow you full credit for these virtues, I must insist +on a careful distinction between a mere virtue and a Christian grace. +Every virtue becomes a vice the moment it overpasses its prescribed +boundaries, the moment it is given free power to follow the bent of +animal nature, instead of being, even though a virtue, kept under the +strict control of religious principle.</p> + +<p>I must now suggest to you some means by which I have known self-control +to be successfully exhibited and perpetuated, with especial reference to +that annoyance which we have last considered. Instead, then, of dwelling +on the deviations from truth of which I have spoken, even when they are +to the injury of a friend, try to banish the subject from your mind and +memory; or, if you are able to think of it in the very way you please, +try to consider how much the original formation of the speaker's mind, +careless habits, and want of any disciplining education, may each and +all contribute to lessen the guilt of the person who has annoyed you. No +one knows better than yourself that tho original nature of the mind, as +well as its implanted habits, modifies every fact presented to its +notice. Still <a name="Page_100" id="Page_100"></a>further, the point of view from which the fact or the +character has been seen may have been entirely different from yours. +These other persons may absolutely have <i>seen</i> the thing spoken of in a +position so completely unlike your mental vision of it, that they are as +incapable of understanding your view as you may be of understanding +theirs. If sincere in your wish for improvement, you had better prove +the truth of the above assertion by the following process. Take into +your consideration any given action, not of a decidedly honourable +nature—one which, perhaps, to most people would appear of an +indifferent nature,—but to your lofty and refined notions deserving of +some degree of reprehension. You have a sufficiently metaphysical head +to be able to abstract yourself entirely from your own view of the case, +and then you can contemplate it with a total freedom from prejudice. +Such a contemplation can only be attempted when no feeling is +concerned,—feeling giving life to every peculiarity of moral sentiment, +as the heat draws out those characters which would otherwise have passed +unknown and unnoticed. I would then have you examine carefully into all +the considerations which might qualify and alter, even your own view of +the case. Dwell long and carefully upon this part of the process. It is +astonishing (incredible indeed until it is tried) how much our opinions +of the very same action may alter if we determinately confine ourselves +to the favourable aspect in which it may be viewed, keeping the contrary +side entirely out of sight.</p> + +<p>As soon as this has been carried to the utmost, you must further (that +my experiment may be fairly tried) <a name="Page_101" id="Page_101"></a>endeavour to throw yourself, in +imagination, not only into the position, but also into the natural and +acquired mental and moral perceptions of the person whose action you are +taking into your consideration. For this purpose you must often +imagine—natural dimness of perception, absence of acute sensibility, +indifference to wounding the feelings of others from mere carelessness +and want of reflective powers, little natural conscientiousness, an +entire absence of the taste or the power of metaphysical examination +into the effect produced by our actions. All these natural deficiencies, +you must further consider, may in this case be increased by a totally +neglected education,—first, by the want of parental discipline, and +afterwards of that more important self-education which few people have +sufficient strength of character to subject themselves to. Lastly, I +would have you consider especially the moral atmosphere in which they +have habitually breathed: according to the nature of this the mental +health varies as certainly as the physical strength varies in a bracing +or relaxing air. A strong bodily constitution may resist longer, and +finally be less affected by a deleterious atmosphere than a weak or +diseased frame; and so it is with the mental constitution. Minds +insensibly imbibe the tone of the atmosphere in which they most +frequently dwell; and though natural loftiness of character and natural +conscientiousness may for a very long period resist such influences, it +cannot be expected that inferior natures will be able to do so.</p> + +<p>You are then to consider whether the habits of mind and conversation +among those who are the constant associates of the persons you blame +have been such as <a name="Page_102" id="Page_102"></a>to cherish or to deaden keen and refined perceptions +of moral excellence and nobility of mind; still further, whether their +own literary tastes have created around them an even more penetrating +atmosphere; whether from the elevated inspirations of appreciated +poetry, from the truthful page of history, or from the stirring +excitements of romantic fiction, their heart and their imagination have +received those lofty lessons for which you judge them responsible, +without knowing whether they have ever received them.</p> + +<p>There is still another consideration. While the actions of those who are +not habitually under the control of high principle depend chiefly on the +physical constitution, as they are too often a mere yielding to the +immediate impulse of the senses, their judgment of men and things, on +the contrary, when uninfluenced by <i>personal</i> feeling, depend probably +more on that keen perception of the beautiful which is the natural +instinct of a superior organization. Morality and religion will indeed +supply the place of these lofty <i>natural</i> instincts, by giving habits of +mind which may in time become so burnt in, as it were, that they assume +the form of natural instincts, while they are at once much safer guides +and much stronger checks.</p> + +<p>It is surprising that a mere sense of the beautiful will often confer +the clearest perceptions of the real nature of moral excellence. You may +hear the devoted worldling, or the selfish sensualist, giving the +highest and most inspiring lessons of self-renunciation, self-sacrifice, +and devotedness to God. Their lessons, truthful and impressive, because +dictated by a keen and exquisite perception of the beautiful, which ever +<a name="Page_103" id="Page_103"></a>harmonizes with the precepts and doctrines of Christianity, have +kindled in many a heart that living flame, which in their own has been +smothered by the fatal homage of the lips and of the feelings only, +while the actions of the life were disobedient. Often has such a writer +or speaker stood in stern and truthfully severe judgment on the weak +"brother in Christ" when he has acted or spoken with an inconsistency +which the mere instinct of the beautiful would in his censor have +prevented. Such censors, however, ought to remember that these weak +brethren, though their instincts be less lofty, their sensibility less +acute, live closer to their principles than they themselves do to their +feelings; for the moment the natural impulse, in cases where that is the +only guide, is enlisted on the side of passion, the perception of the +beautiful is entirely sacrificed to the gratification of the senses. +When the animal nature comes into collision with the spiritual, the +highest dictates of the latter will be unheeded, unless the supremacy of +the spiritual nature be habitually maintained in practice as well as in +theory. In short, that keen perception of the true and the beautiful, +which is an essential ingredient in the formation of a noble character, +becomes, in the case of the self-indulgent worldling, only an increase +of his responsibility, and a deepening dye to his guilt. At present, +however, I suppose you to be sitting in judgment on those who are +entirely destitute of the aids and the responsibilities of a keen sense +of the beautiful: by nature or by education they know or have learned +nothing of it. How different, then, from your own must be their estimate +of virtue and duty! Add this, therefore, to all the other allowances +<a name="Page_104" id="Page_104"></a>you have to make for them, and I will answer for it that any action +viewed through this qualifying medium will entirely change its aspect, +and your blame will most frequently turn to pity, though of course you +can feel neither sympathy nor respect.</p> + +<p>On the other hand, the practice of dwelling only on the aggravating +circumstances of a case, will magnify into crime a trifling and +otherwise easily forgotten error. This is a fact in the mind's history +of which few people seem to be aware, and only few may be capable of +understanding. Its truth, however, may be easily proved by watching the +effect of words in irritating one person against another, and +increasing, by repeated insinuations, the apparent malignity of some +really trifling action. No one, probably, has led so blessed a life as +not to have been sometimes pained by observing one person trying to +exasperate another, who is, perhaps, rather peacefully inclined, by +pointing out all the aggravating circumstances of some probably +imaginary offence, until the listener is wrought up to a state of angry +excitement, and induced to look on that as an exaggerated offence which +would probably otherwise have passed without notice. What is in this +case the effect of another's sin is a state often produced in their own +mind by those who would be incapable of the more tangible, and therefore +more evidently sinful act of exciting the anger of one friend or +relative against another.</p> + +<p>The sin of which I speak is peculiarly likely to be that of a +thoughtful, reflective, and fastidious person like yourself. It is +therefore to you of the utmost importance to acquire, and to acquire at +once, complete <a name="Page_105" id="Page_105"></a>control over your thoughts,—first, carefully +ascertaining which those are that you ought to avoid, and then guarding +as carefully against such as if they were the open semblance of positive +sin. This is really the only means by which a truthful and candid nature +like your own can ever maintain the deportment of Christian love and +charity towards those among whom your lot is cast. You must resolutely +shut your eyes against all that is unlovely in their character. If you +suffer your thoughts to dwell for a moment on such subjects, you will +find additional difficulty afterwards in forcing them away from that +which is their natural tendency, besides having probably created a +feeling against which it will be vain to struggle. It is one of the +strongest reasons for the necessity of watchful self-control, that no +mind, however powerful, can exercise a direct authority over the +feelings of the heart; they are susceptible of indirect influence alone. +This much increases the necessity of our watchfulness as to the indirect +tendencies of thoughts and words, and our accountability with respect to +them. Our anxiety and vigilance ought to be altogether greater than if +we could exercise over our feelings that direct and instantaneous +control which a strong mind can always assert in the case of words and +actions.</p> + +<p>Unless the indirect influence of which I have spoken were practicable, +the warnings and commands of Scripture would be a mockery of our +weakness,—a cruel satire on the helplessness of a victim whose efforts +to fulfil duty must, however strenuous, prove unavailing. The child is +commanded to honour his parent, the wife to reverence her husband; and +you are to observe <a name="Page_106" id="Page_106"></a>attentively that there is no exception made for the +cases of those whose parents or husbands are undeserving of love and +reverence. There must, then, be a power granted, to such as ask and +<i>strive</i> to acquire it, of closing the mental eyes resolutely against +those features in the character of the persons to whom we are bound by +the ties of duty, which would unfit us, if much dwelt upon, for +obedience in such important particulars as the love and reverence we are +commanded to feel towards them.</p> + +<p>Even where there is such high principle and such uncommon strength of +character as to induce perseverance in the mere external forms of +obedience, how vain are all such while the heart has turned aside from +the appointed path of duty, and broken those commands of God which, we +should always remember, have reference to feeling as well as to +action:—"Honour thy father and thy mother;"<a name="FNanchor_59_59" id="FNanchor_59_59"></a><a href="#Footnote_59_59" class="fnanchor">[59]</a> "Let the wife see that +she reverence her husband."<a name="FNanchor_60_60" id="FNanchor_60_60"></a><a href="#Footnote_60_60" class="fnanchor">[60]</a></p> + +<p>In the habitual exercise of that self-control which I now urge upon you, +you will experience an ample fulfilment of that promise,—"The work of +righteousness shall be peace."<a name="FNanchor_61_61" id="FNanchor_61_61"></a><a href="#Footnote_61_61" class="fnanchor">[61]</a> Instead of becoming daily further and +further severed from those who are indeed your inferiors, but towards +whom God has imposed duties upon you, you will daily find that, in +proportion to the difficulty of the task, will be the sweetness and the +peace rewarding its fulfilment. No affection resulting from the most +perfect sympathy of mind and heart will ever confer so deep a pleasure, +or so holy a peace, as <a name="Page_107" id="Page_107"></a>the blind, unquestioning, "unsifting"<a name="FNanchor_62_62" id="FNanchor_62_62"></a><a href="#Footnote_62_62" class="fnanchor">[62]</a> +tenderness which a strong principle of duty has cherished into +existence.</p> + +<p>Glorious in every way will be the final result to those who are capable +(alas! few are so) of such a course of conduct. Far different in its +effects from the blind tenderness of infatuated passion is the noble +blindness of Christian self-control. While the one warms into existence, +or at least into open manifestation, all the selfishness and wilfulness +of the fondled plaything, the other creates a thousand virtues that were +not known before. Flowers spring up from the hardest rocks, the coldest, +sternest natures are gradually softened into gentleness, the faults of +temper or of character that never meet with worrying opposition, or +exercise unforgiving influence, gradually die away, and fade from the +memory of both. The very atmosphere alone of such rare and lovely +self-control seems to have a moral influence resembling the effects of +climate upon the rude and rugged marble,—every roughness is by degrees +<a name="Page_108" id="Page_108"></a>smoothed away, and even the colouring becomes subdued into calm harmony +with all the features of its allotted position.</p> + +<p>To the rarity of the virtue upon which I have so long dwelt, we may +trace the cause of almost all the domestic unhappiness we witness +whenever the veil is withdrawn from the secrets of <i>home</i>. Alas! how +often is this blessed word only the symbol of freely-indulged +ill-tempers, unresisted selfishness, or, perhaps the most dangerous of +all, exacting and unforgiving requirements. While the one party select +their home as the only scene where they may safely and freely vent their +caprices and ill-humours, the other require a stricter compliance with +their wishes, a more exact conformity with their pursuits and opinions, +than they meet with even from the temporary companions of their lighter +hours. They forget that these companions have only to exert themselves +for a short time for their gratification, and that they can then retire +to their own home, probably to be as disagreeable there as the relations +of whom the others complain. For then the mask is off, and they are at +liberty,—yes, at liberty,—freed from the inspection and the judgments +of the world, and only exposed to those of God!</p> + +<p>My friend, I am sure you have often shared in the pain and grief I feel, +that in so few cases should home be the blessed, peaceful spot that +poetry pictures to us. There is no real poetry that is not truth in its +purest form—truth as it appears to eyes from which the mists of sense +are cleared away. Surely our earthly homes ought to realize the +representations of poetry; they would then become each day a nearer, +though ever a <a name="Page_109" id="Page_109"></a>faint type of, that eternal home for which our earthly +one ought daily to prepare us.</p> + +<p>Poetry and religion always teach the same duties, instil the same +feelings. Never believe that any thing can be truly noble or great, that +any thing can be really poetical, which is not also religious. The poet +is now partly a priest, as he was in the old heathen world; and though, +alas! he may, like Balaam, utter inspirations which his heart follows +not, which his life denies, yet, like Balaam also, his words are full of +lessons for us, though they may only make his own guilt the deeper.</p> + +<p>I have been led to these concluding considerations respecting poetry by +my anxiety that you should turn your refined tastes and your acute +perceptions of the beautiful to a universally moral purpose. There is no +teaching more impressive than that which comes to us through our +passions. In the moment of excited feeling stronger impressions may be +made than by any of the warnings of duty and principle. If these latter, +however, be not motives co-existent, and also in strength and exercise, +the impressions of feeling are temporary, and even dangerous. It is only +to the faithful followers of duty that the excitements of romance and +poetry are useful and improving. To such they have often given strength +and energy to tread more cheerfully and hopefully over many a rugged +path, to live more closely to their beau-idéal, a vivid vision of which +has, by poetry, been awakened and refreshed in their hearts.</p> + +<p>To others, on the contrary, the danger exceeds the profit. By the +excitement of admiration they may be <a name="Page_110" id="Page_110"></a>deceived into the belief that +there must be in their own bosoms an answering spirit to the greatness, +the self-sacrifice, the pure and lofty affections they see represented +in the mirror of poetry. They are deceived, because they forget that we +have each within us two natures struggling for the mastery. As long as +we practically allow the habitual supremacy of the lower over the +higher, there can be no real excellence in the character, however a mere +sense of the beautiful may temporarily exalt the feelings, and thus +increase our responsibility, and consequent condemnation.</p> + +<p>I am sure you have experimentally understood the subject on which I have +been writing. I am sure you have often risen from the teaching of the +poet with enthusiasm in your heart, ready to trample upon all those +temptations and difficulties which had, perhaps an hour before, made the +path of self-denial and self-control apparently impracticable.</p> + +<p>Receive such intervals of excitement as heaven-sent aids, to help you +more easily over, it may be, a wearying and dreary path. They are most +probably sent in answer to prayer—in answer to the prayers of your own +heart, or to those of some pious friend.</p> + +<p>Our Father in heaven works constantly by earthly means, and moulds the +weakest, the often apparently useless instrument to the furtherance of +his purposes of mercy, one of which you know is your own sanctification. +It is not his holy word only that gives you appointed messages and helps +exactly suited to your need. The flower growing by the way-side, the +picture or the poem, the works of God's own hand, or the works of the +genius which he has breathed into his creature <a name="Page_111" id="Page_111"></a>Man, may all alike bear +you messages of love, of warning, of assistance.</p> + +<p>Listen attentively, and you will hear—clearer still and clearer—every +day and hour. It is not by chance you take up that book, or gaze upon +that picture; you have found, because you are on the watch for it, in +the first, a suggestion that exactly suits your present need, in the +latter an excitement and an inspiration which makes some difficult +action you may be immediately called on to perform comparatively easy +and comparatively welcome.</p> + +<p>There is a deep and universal meaning in the vulgar<a name="FNanchor_63_63" id="FNanchor_63_63"></a><a href="#Footnote_63_63" class="fnanchor">[63]</a> proverb, "Strike +while the iron is hot." If it be left to cool without your purpose being +effected, the iron becomes harder than ever, the chains of nature and of +habit are more firmly riveted.</p> + +<p>There are some other features of self-control to which I wish, though +more cursorily, to direct your attention. They have all some remote +bearing on your moral nature, and may exercise much influence over your +prospects in life.</p> + +<p>Like many other persons of a refined and sensitive organization, you +suffer from the very uncommon disease of shyness. At the very time, +perhaps, when you desire most to please, to interest, to amuse, your +over-anxiety defeats its own object. The self-possession of the +indifferent generally carries off the palm from the earnest and the +anxious. This is ridiculous; this is degrading. What you wish to do you +ought to be <a name="Page_112" id="Page_112"></a>able to do, and you will be able, if you habitually +exercise control over the physical feelings of your nature.</p> + +<p>I am quite of the opinion of those who hold that shyness is a bodily as +well as a mental disease, much influenced by our state of health, as +well as by the constitutional state of the circulation; but I only put +forward this opinion respecting its origin as additional evidence that +it too may be brought under the authority of self-control. If the grace +of God, giving efficacy and help to our own exertions, can enable us to +resist the influence of indigestion and other kinds of ill-health upon +the temper and the spirits, will not the same means be found effectual +to subdue a shyness which almost sinks us to the level of the brute +creation by depriving us of the advantages of a rational will? Even this +latter distinguishing feature of humanity is prostrated before the +mysterious power of shyness.</p> + +<p>You understand, doubtless, the wide distinction that exists between +modesty and shyness. Modesty is always self-possessed, and therefore +clear-sighted and cool-headed. Shyness, on the contrary, is too confused +either to see or hear things as they really are, and as often assumes +the appearance of forwardness as any other disguise. Depriving its +victims of the power of being themselves, it leaves them little freedom +of choice, as to the sort of imitations the freaks of their animal +nature may lead them to attempt. You feel, with deep annoyance, that a +paroxysm of shyness has often made you speak entirely at random, and +express the very opposite sentiments to those you really feel, +committing yourself irretrievably to, perhaps, falsehood <a name="Page_113" id="Page_113"></a>and folly, +because you could not exercise self-control. Try to bring vividly before +your mental eye all that you have suffered in the recollection of past +weaknesses of this kind, and that will give you energy and strength to +struggle habitually, incessantly, against every symptom of so painful a +disease. It is, at first, only the smaller ones that can be successfully +combated; after the strength acquired by perseverance in lesser efforts, +you may hope to overcome your powerful enemy in his very stronghold.</p> + +<p>Even in the quietest family life many opportunities will be offered you +of combat and of victory. False shame, the fear of being laughed at now, +or taunted afterwards, will often keep you silent when you ought to +speak; and you ought to speak very often for no other than the +sufficient reason of accustoming yourself to disregard the hampering +feeling of "What will people say?" "What do I expose myself to by making +this observation?" Follow the impulses of your own noble and generous +nature, speak the words it dictates, and then you may and ought to +trample under foot the insinuations of shyness, as to the judgments +which others may pass upon you.</p> + +<p>You may observe that those censors who make a coward of you can always +find something to say in blame of every action, some taunt with which to +reflect upon every word. Do not, then, suffer yourself to be hampered by +the dread of depreciating remarks being made upon your conversation or +your conduct. Such fears are one of the most general causes of shyness. +You must not suffer your mind to dwell upon them, except to consider +that taunting and depreciating <a name="Page_114" id="Page_114"></a>remarks may and will be made on every +course of conduct you may pursue, on every word you or others may speak.</p> + +<p>I have myself been cured of any shackling anxiety as to "What will +people say?" by a long experience of the fact, that the remarks of the +gossip are totally irrespective of the conduct or the conversation they +gossip over. That which is blamed one moment, is highly extolled the +next, when the necessity of depreciating contrast requires the change; +and as for the <i>inconsequence</i> of the remarks so rapidly following each +other, the gossip is "thankful she has not an argumentative head." She +is, therefore, privileged one moment to contradict the inevitable +consequences of the assertions made the moment before.</p> + +<p>You cannot avoid such criticisms; brave them nobly. The more you +disregard them, the more true will you be to yourself, the more free +will you be from that shyness which, though partly the result of keen +and acute perceptions and refined sensibilities, has besides a large +share of over-anxious vanity and deeply-rooted pride.</p> + +<p>Do not believe those who tell you that shyness will decrease of itself, +as you advance in age, and mix more in the world. There is, indeed, a +species of shyness which may thus be removed; but it is not that which +arises from a morbid refinement. This latter species, unguarded by +habitual self-control, will, on the contrary, rather increase than +decrease, as further experience shows you the numerous modes of failure, +the thousand tender points in which you may be assailed by the world +without.</p> + +<p>Be assured that your only hope of safety is in an <a name="Page_115" id="Page_115"></a>early and persevering +struggle, accompanied by faith in final victory,—without that who can +have strength for conflict? Do not treat your boasted intellect so +depreciatingly as to doubt its power of giving you successful aid in +your triumph over difficulties. What has been done may be done +again,—why not by you?</p> + +<p>Nothing is more interesting (and also imposing) than to see a strong +mind evidently struggling against, and obtaining a victory over, the +shyness of its animal nature. The appreciative observer pays it, at the +same time, the involuntary homage which always attends success, and the +still deeper respect due to those who having been thus "Cæsar unto +themselves,"<a name="FNanchor_64_64" id="FNanchor_64_64"></a><a href="#Footnote_64_64" class="fnanchor">[64]</a> are also sure, in time, to conquer all external things.</p> + +<p>In conclusion, I must remind you that your life has, as yet, flowed on +in a smooth and untroubled course, so that you cannot from experience be +at all aware of the much greater future necessity there may be for those +habits of self-control which I am now urging upon you. But though no +overwhelming shocks, no stunning surprises, have, as yet, disturbed the +"even tenor of your way," it cannot be always thus. Alas! the time must +come when sorrows will pour in upon you like a flood, when you will be +called upon for rapid decisions, for far-sighted and comprehensive +arrangements, for various exercises of the coolest, calmest judgment, at +the very moment that present anguish and anxiety for the future are +raising whirlwinds of clouds around your mental vision. If you are not +now acquiring the power of self-control in <a name="Page_116" id="Page_116"></a>minor affairs by managing +them judiciously under circumstances of trifling excitement or +disturbance, how will you be able to act your part with skill and +courage, when the hours of real trial overtake you? A character like +yours, as it possesses the power, so likewise is it responsible for the +duty of moving on steadily through moral clouds and storms, seeing +clearly, resisting firmly, and uninfluenced by any motives but those +suggested by your higher nature.</p> + +<p>The passing shadow, or the gleam of sunshine, the half-expressed sneer, +or the tempests of angry passion, the words of love and flattery, or the +cruel insinuations of envy and jealousy, may pale your cheek, or call +into it a deeper flush; may kindle your eye with indignation, or melt +its rays in sorrow; but they must not, for all that, turn you aside one +step from the path which your calm and deliberate judgment had before +marked out for you: your insensibility to such annoyances as those I +have described would show an unfeminine hardness of character; your +being influenced by them would strengthen into habit any natural +unfitness for the high duties you may probably be called on to fulfil. +When in future years you may be appealed to, by those who depend on you +alone, for guidance, for counsel, for support in warding off, or bearing +bravely, dangers, difficulties, and sorrows, you will have cause for +bitter repentance if you are unable to answer such appeals; nor can you +answer them successfully unless, in the present hours of comparative +calm, you are, in daily trifles, habituating yourself to the exercise of +self-control. Every day thus wasted now will in future cause you years +of unavailing regret.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_VII" id="LETTER_VII"></a><a name="Page_117" id="Page_117"></a>LETTER VII.</h2> + +<h3>ECONOMY.</h3> + + +<p>Perhaps there is no lesson that needs to be more watchfully and +continually impressed on the young and generous heart than the difficult +one of economy. There is no virtue that in such natures requires more +vigilant self-control and self-denial, besides the exercise of a free +judgment, uninfluenced by the excitement of feeling.</p> + +<p>To you this virtue will be doubly difficult, because you have so long +watched its unpleasant manifestations in a distorted form. You are +exposed to danger from that which has perverted many notions of right +and wrong; you have so long heard things called by false names that you +are inclined to turn away in disgust from a noble reality. You have been +accustomed to hear the name of economy given to penuriousness and +meanness, so that now, the wounded feelings and the refined tastes of +your nature having been excited to disgust by this system of falsehood, +you will find it difficult to realize in economy a virtue that joins to +all the noble instincts of generosity the additional features of +strong-minded self-control.</p> + +<p>It will therefore be necessary, before I endeavour to impress upon your +mind the duty and advantages of economy, that I should previously help +you to a clear understanding of the real meaning of the word itself.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_118" id="Page_118"></a>The difficulty of forming a true and distinct conception of the virtue +thus denominated is much increased by its being equally misrepresented +by two entirely opposite parties. The avaricious, those to whom the +expenditure of a shilling costs a real pang of regret, claim for their +mean vice the honour of a virtue that can have no existence, unless the +same pain and the same self-control were exercised in withholding, as +with them would be exercised in giving. On the other hand, the +extravagant, sometimes wilfully, sometimes unconsciously, fall into the +same error of applying to the noble self-denial of economy the degrading +misnomers of avarice, penuriousness, &c.</p> + +<p>It is indeed possible that the avaricious may become economical,—after +first becoming generous, which is an absolutely necessary preliminary. +That which is impossible with man is possible with God, and who may dare +to limit his free grace? This, however, is one of the wonders I have +never yet witnessed. It seems indeed that the love of money is so +literally the "root of all evil,"<a name="FNanchor_65_65" id="FNanchor_65_65"></a><a href="#Footnote_65_65" class="fnanchor">[65]</a> that there is no room in the heart +where it dwells for any other growth, for any thing lovely or excellent. +The taint is universal, and while much that is amiable and interesting +may originally exist in characters containing the seeds of every other +vice, (however in time overshadowed and poisoned by such neighbourhood,) +it would seem that "the love of money" always reigns in sovereign +desolation, admitting no warm or generous feeling into the heart which +it governs. Such, however, you will at once deny to <a name="Page_119" id="Page_119"></a>be the case of +those from whose penuriousness your early years have suffered; you know +that their character is not thus bare of virtues. But do not for this +contradict my assertion; theirs was not always innate love of money for +its own sake, though at length they may have unfortunately learned to +love it thus, which is the true test of avarice. It has, on the +contrary, been owing to the faults of others, to their having long +experienced the deprivations attendant on a want of money, that they +have acquired the habit of thinking the consciousness of its possession +quite as enjoyable as the powers and the pleasures its expenditure +bestows. They know too well the pain of want of money, but have never +learned that the real pleasure of its possession consists in its +employment.<a name="FNanchor_66_66" id="FNanchor_66_66"></a><a href="#Footnote_66_66" class="fnanchor">[66]</a> It is only from habit, only from perverted experience, +that they are avaricious, therefore I at once exonerate them from the +charges I have brought against those whose very nature it is to love +money for its own sake. At the same time the strong expressions I have +made use of respecting these latter, may, I hope, serve to obviate the +suspicion that I have any indulgence for so despicable a vice, and may +induce you to expect an unprejudiced statement of the merits and the +duty of economy.</p> + +<p>It is carefully to be remembered that the excess of every natural virtue +becomes a vice, and that these apparently opposing qualities are only +divided from each other by almost insensible boundaries. The habitual +exercise of strong self-control can alone preserve even our virtues from +degenerating into sin, and a clear-sightedness <a name="Page_120" id="Page_120"></a>as to the very first +step of declension must be sought for by self-denial on our own part, +and by earnest prayer for the assisting graces of the Holy Spirit, to +search the depths of our heart, and open our eyes to see.</p> + +<p>Thus it is that the free and generous impulses of a warm and benevolent +nature, though in themselves among the loveliest manifestations of the +merely natural character, will and necessarily must degenerate into +extravagance and self-indulgence, unless they are kept vigilantly and +constantly under the control of prudence and justice. And this, if you +consider the subject impartially, is fully as much the case when these +generous impulses are not exercised alone in procuring indulgences for +one's friends or one's self, but even when they excite you to the relief +of real suffering and pitiable distress.</p> + +<p>This last is, indeed, one of the severest trials of the duty of economy; +but that it is a part of that duty to resist even such temptations, will +be easily ascertained if you consider the subject coolly,—that is, if +you consider it when your feelings are not excited by the sight of a +distressed object, whose situation may be readily altered by some of +that money which you think, and think justly, is only useful, only +enjoyable, in the moment of expenditure.</p> + +<p>The trial is, I confess, a difficult one: it is best the decision with +respect to it should be made when your feelings are excited on the +opposite side, when some useful act of charity to the poor has +incapacitated you from meeting the demands of justice.</p> + +<p>I am sure your memory, ay, and your present <a name="Page_121" id="Page_121"></a>experience too, can furnish +you with some cases of this kind. It may be that the act of generosity +was a judicious and a useful one, that the suffering would have been +great if you had not performed it; but, on the other hand, it has +disabled you from paying some bills that you knew at the very time were +lawfully due as the reward of honest labour, which had trusted to your +honour that this reward should be punctually paid. You have a keen sense +of justice as well as a warm glow of generosity; one will serve to +temper the other. Let the memory of every past occasion of this kind be +deeply impressed, not only on your mind but on your heart, by frequent +reflection on the painful thoughts that then forced themselves upon +you,—the distress of those upon whose daily labour the daily +maintenance of their family depends, the collateral distress of the +artisans employed by them, whom they cannot pay because you cannot pay, +the degradation to your own character, from the experience of your +creditors that you have expended that which was in fact not your own, +the diminished, perhaps for ever injured, confidence which they and all +who become acquainted with the circumstances will place in you, and, +finally, the probability that you have deprived some honest, +industrious, self-denying tradesman of his hardly-earned dues, to bestow +the misnamed generosity upon some object of distress, who, however real +the distress may be now, has probably deserved it by a deficiency in all +those good qualities which maintain in respectability your defrauded +creditor. The very character, too, of your creditor may suffer by your +inability to pay him, for he, miscalculating on your honesty and +truthfulness, <a name="Page_122" id="Page_122"></a>may, on his side, have engaged to make payments which +become impossible for him, when you fail in your duty, in which case you +can scarcely calculate how far the injury to him may extend; becoming a +more permanent and serious evil than his incapacity to answer those +daily calls upon him of which I have before spoken. In short, if you +will try to bring vividly before you all the painful feelings that +passed through your mind, and all the contingencies that were +contemplated by you on any one of these occasions, you will scarcely +differ from me when I assert my belief that the name of dishonesty would +be a far more correct word than that of generosity to apply to such +actions as the above: you are, in fact, giving away the money of another +person, depriving him of his property, his time, or his goods, under +false pretences, and, in addition to this, appropriating to yourself the +pleasure of giving, which surely ought to belong by right to those to +whom the gift belongs.</p> + +<p>I have here considered one of the most trying cases, one in which the +withholding of your liberality becomes a really difficult duty, so +difficult that the opportunity should be avoided as much as possible; +and it is for this very purpose that the science of economy should be +diligently studied and practised, that so "you may have to give to him +that needeth," without taking away that which is due to others. Probably +in most of the cases to which I have referred your memory, some previous +acts of self-denial would have saved you from being tempted to the sin +of giving away the property of another. I would not willingly suppose +that an act of self-denial at the very time you witnessed the case <a name="Page_123" id="Page_123"></a>of +distress might have provided you with the means of satisfying both +generosity and honesty, for, as I said before, I know you to have a keen +sense of justice; and though you have never yet been vigilant enough in +the practice of economy, I cannot believe that, with an alternative +before you, you would indulge in any personal expenditure, even bearing +the appearance of almost necessity, that would involve a failure in the +payment of your debts. I speak, then, only of acts of previous +self-denial, and I wish you to be persuaded, that unless these are +practised habitually and incessantly you can never be truly generous. A +readiness to give that which costs you nothing, that which is so truly a +superfluity that it involves no sacrifice, is a mere animal instinct, as +selfish perhaps, though more refinedly so than any other species of +self-indulgence. Generosity is a nobler quality, and one that can have +no real existence without economy and self-denial.</p> + +<p>I have spoken several times of the study of economy, and of the science +of economy; and I used these words advisedly. However natural and +comparatively easy it may be to some persons to form an accurate +judgment of the general average of their ordinary expenses, and of all +the contingencies that are perpetually arising, I do not believe that +you possess this power by nature: you only need, however, to force your +intellectual faculties into this direction to find that here, as +elsewhere, they may be made available for every imaginable purpose. You +have sometimes probably envied those among your acquaintance, much less +highly gifted perhaps than yourself, who have so little difficulty in +practising economy, that without any effort at <a name="Page_124" id="Page_124"></a>all, they have always +money in hand for any unexpected exigency, as well as to fulfil all +regular demands upon their purse. It is an observation made by every +one, that among the same number of girls, some will be found to dress +better, give away more, and be better provided for sudden emergencies, +than their companions. Nor are these ordinarily the more clever girls of +one's acquaintance: I have known some who were decidedly below par as to +intellect who yet possessed in a high degree the practical knowledge of +economy. Instead of vainly lamenting your natural inferiority on such an +important point, you should seek diligently to remove it.</p> + +<p>An acquired knowledge of the art of economy is far better than any +natural skill therein; for the acquisition will involve the exercise of +many intellectual faculties, such as generalization, foresight, +calculation, at the same time that the moral faculties are strengthened +by the constant exercise of self-control. For, granted that the +naturally economical are neither shabbily penurious nor deficient in the +duty of almsgiving, it is still evident that it cannot be the same +effort to them to deny themselves a tempting act of liberality, or the +gratification of elegant and commendable tastes, as it must be to those +who are destitute of equally instinctive feelings as to the inadequacy +of their funds to meet demands of this nature. It is invariably true +that economy must be difficult, and therefore admirable in proportion to +the warm-heartedness and the refined tastes of those who practise it. +The highly-gifted and the generous meet with a thousand temptations to +expenditure beyond their means, of the <a name="Page_125" id="Page_125"></a>number and strength of which the +less amiable and refined can form no adequate conception. If, however, +those above spoken of are exposed to stronger temptations than others, +they also carry within themselves the means, if properly employed, of +more powerful and skillful defence. There is, as I said before, no right +purpose, however contrary to the natural constitution of the mind, for +which intellectual powers may not be made available; and if strong +feelings render self-denial more difficult, especially in points of +charity or generosity, they, on the other hand, serve to impress more +deeply and vividly on the mind the painful self-reproach consequent to +any act of imprudence and extravagance.</p> + +<p>The first effort made by your intellectual powers towards acquiring a +practical knowledge of the science of economy should be the important +one of generalizing all your expenses, and then performing the same +process upon the funds that there is a fair probability of your having +at your disposal. The former is difficult, as the expenditure of even a +single person, independent of any establishment, involves so many +unforeseen contingencies, that, unless by combining the past and the +future you generalize a probable average, and then bring this average +<i>within</i> your income, you can never experience any of the peace of mind +and readiness to meet the calls of charity which economy alone bestows.</p> + +<p>No one of strict justice can combine tranquillity with the indulgence of +generosity unless she lives <i>within</i> her income. Whether the expenditure +be on a large or a small scale, it signifies little; she alone is truly +rich who has brought her wants sufficiently within the <a name="Page_126" id="Page_126"></a>bounds of her +income to have always something to spare for unexpected contingencies. +In laying down rules for your expenditure, you will, of course, impose +upon yourself a regular dedication of a certain part of your income to +charitable purposes. This ought to be considered as entirely set apart, +as no longer your own: your opportunities must determine the exact +proportion; but the tenth, at least, of the substance which God has +given you must be considered as appropriated to his service; nor can you +hope for a blessing upon the remainder, if you withhold that which has +been distinctly claimed from you. Besides the regular allowance for the +wants of the poor, I can readily suppose that it will be a satisfaction +to you to deny yourself, from time to time, some innocent gratification, +when a greater gratification is within your reach, by laying out your +money "to make the widow's heart to sing for joy; to bring upon yourself +the blessing of him that was ready to perish."<a name="FNanchor_67_67" id="FNanchor_67_67"></a><a href="#Footnote_67_67" class="fnanchor">[67]</a> Here, however, will +much watchfulness be required; you must be sure that it is only some +self-indulgence you sacrifice, and nothing of that which the claims of +justice demand. For when, after systematic, as well as present, +self-denial, you still find that you cannot afford to relieve the +distress which it pains your heart to witness, be careful to resist the +temptation of giving away that which is lawfully due to others. For the +purpose of saving suffering in one direction you may cause it in +another; and besides, you set yourself as plainly in opposition to that +which is the will of God concerning you as if <a name="Page_127" id="Page_127"></a>your imprudent +expenditure were caused by some temptation less refined and unselfish +than the relief of real distress. The gratification that another woman +would find in a splendid dress, you derive from more exalted sources; +but if you or she purchase your gratification by an act of injustice, by +spending money that does not belong to you, you, as well as she, are +making an idol of self, in choosing to have that which the providence of +God has denied you. "The silver and the gold is mine, saith the Lord;" +and it cannot be without a special purpose, relating to the peculiar +discipline requisite for such characters, that this silver and gold is +so often withheld from those who would make the best and kindest use of +it. Murmur not, then, when this hard trial comes upon you, when you see +want and sorrow which you cannot in justice to others relieve; and when +you see thousands, at the very moment you experience this generous +suffering, expended on entirely selfish, perhaps sinful gratifications, +neither be tempted to murmur or to act unjustly. "Is it not the Lord;" +has not he in his infinite love and infinite wisdom appointed this very +trial for you? Bow your head and heart in submission, and dare not to +seek an escape from it by one step out of the path of duty. It may be +that close examination, a searching of the stores of memory, will bring +even this trial under the almost invariable head of needful +chastisement; it may be that it is the consequence of some former act of +self-indulgence and extravagance, which would have been forgotten, or +not deeply enough repented of, unless your sin had in this way been +brought to remembrance. Thus even this trial assumes the <a name="Page_128" id="Page_128"></a>invariable +character of all God's chastisements: it is the inevitable consequence +of sin,—as inevitable as the relation of cause and effect. It results +from no special interposition of Providence, but is the natural result +of those decrees upon which the whole system of the world is founded; +secondarily, however, overruled to work together for good to the +penitent sinner, by impressing more deeply on his mind the humbling +remembrance of past sin, and leading to a more watchful future avoidance +of the same.</p> + +<p>It is indeed probable, that without many trials of this peculiarly +painful kind, the duty of economy could not be deeply enough impressed +on a naturally generous and warm heart. The restraints of prudence would +be unheeded, unless bitter experience, as it were, burned them in.</p> + +<p>I have spoken of two necessary preparations for the practice of +economy,—the first, a clear general view of our probable expenses; the +second, which I am now about to notice, is the calculation of the +probable funds that are to meet these expenses. In your case, there is a +certain income, with sundry contingencies, very much varying, and +altogether uncertain. Such probabilities, then, as the latter, ought to +be appropriated to such expenses as are occasional and not inevitable: +you must never calculate on them for any of your necessary expenditure, +except in the same average manner as you have calculated that +expenditure; and you must estimate the average considerably within +probabilities, or you will be often thrown into discomfort. It is much +better that all indulgences of mere taste, of entirely personal +gratification, should be <a name="Page_129" id="Page_129"></a>dependent on this uncertain fund; and here +again I would warn you to keep in view the more pressing wants that may +arise in the future. The gratification in which you are now indulging +yourself may be a perfectly innocent one; but are you quite sure that +you are not expending more money than <i>you</i> can prudently, or, to speak +better, conscientiously afford, on that which offers only a temporary +gratification, and involves no improvement or permanent benefit? You +certainly are not sufficiently rich to indulge in any merely temporary +gratification, except in extreme moderation. With relation to that part +of your income which is varying and uncertain, I have observed that it +is a very common temptation assailing the generous and thoughtless, +(about money matters, often those who are least thoughtless about other +things,) that there is always some future prospect of an increase of +income, which is to free them from present embarrassments, and enable +them to pay for the enjoyment of all those wishes that they are now +gratifying. It is a future, however, that never arrives; for every +increase of property brings new claims or new wants along with it; and +it is found, too late, that, by exceeding present income, we have +destroyed both the present and the future, we have created wants which +the future income will find a difficulty in supplying, having in +addition its own new ones to provide for.</p> + +<p>It may indeed in a few, a very few, cases be necessary, in others +expedient, to forestall that money which we have every certainty of +presently possessing; but unless the expenditure relates to particulars +coming under the term of "daily bread," it appears to me <a name="Page_130" id="Page_130"></a>decided +dishonesty to lay out an uncertain future income. Even if it should +become ours, have we not acted in direct contradiction to the revealed +will of God concerning us? The station of life in which God has placed +us depends very much on the expenditure within our power; and if we +double that, do we not in fact choose wilfully for ourselves a different +position from that which he has appointed, and withdraw from under the +guiding hand of his providence? Let us not hope that even temporal +success will be allowed to result from such acts of disobedience.</p> + +<p>What a high value does it stamp on the virtue of economy, when we thus +consider it as one of the means towards enabling us to submit ourselves +to the will of God!</p> + +<p>I cannot close a letter to a woman on the subject of economy without +referring to the subject of dress. Though your strongest temptations to +extravagance may be those of a generous, warm heart, I have no doubt +that you are also, though in an inferior degree, tempted by the desire +to improve your personal appearance by the powerful aid of dress. It +ought not to be otherwise; you should not be indifferent to a very +important means of pleasing. Your natural beauty would be unavailing +unless you devoted both time and care to its preservation and adornment. +You should be solicitous to win the affection of those around you; and +there are many who will be seriously influenced by any neglect of due +attention to your personal appearance. Besides the insensible effect +produced on the most ignorant and unreasonable spectator, those whom you +will most wish to please will look upon it, and with <a name="Page_131" id="Page_131"></a>justice, as an +index to your mind; and a simple, graceful, and well-ordered exterior +will always give the impression that similar qualities exist within. +Dressing well is some a natural and easy accomplishment; to others, who +may have the very same qualities existing in their minds without the +power (which is in a degree mechanical) of displaying the same outward +manifestation of them, it will be much more difficult to attain the same +object with the same expense. Your study, therefore, of the art of dress +must be a double one,—must first enable you to bring the smallest +details of your apparel into as close conformity as possible to the +forms and tastes of your mind, and, secondly, enable you to reconcile +this exercise of taste with the duties of economy. If fashion is to be +consulted as well as taste, I fear that you will find this impossible; +if a gown or a bonnet is to be replaced by a new one, the moment a +slight alteration takes place in the fashion of the shape or the colour, +you will often be obliged to sacrifice taste as well as duty. Rather +make up your mind to appear no richer than you are; if you cannot afford +to vary your dress according to the rapidly—varying fashions, have the +moral courage to confess this in action. Nor will your appearance lose +much by the sacrifice. If your dress is in accordance with true taste, +the more valuable of your acquaintance will be able to appreciate that, +while they would be unconscious of any strict and expensive conformity +to the fashions of the month. Of course, I do not speak now of any +glaring discrepancy between your dress and the general costume of the +time. There could be no display of a simple taste while any singularity +in your <a name="Page_132" id="Page_132"></a>dress attracted notice; neither could there be much additional +expense in a moderate attention to the prevailing forms and colours of +the time,—for bonnets and gowns do not, alas, last for ever. What I +mean to deprecate is the laying aside any one of these, which is +suitable in every other respect, lest it should reveal the secret of +your having expended nothing upon dress during this season. Remember how +many indulgences to your generous nature would be procured by the price +of, a fashionable gown or bonnet, and your feelings will provide a +strong support to your duty. Another way in which you may successfully +practise economy is by taking care of your clothes, having them repaired +in proper time, and neither exposing them to sun or rain unnecessarily. +A ten-guinea gown may be sacrificed in half an hour, and the indolence +of your disposition would lead you to prefer this sacrifice to the +trouble of taking any preservatory precautions, or thinking about the +matter at all. Is this right? Even if you can procure money to satisfy +the demands of mere carelessness, are you acting as a faithful steward +by thus expending it? I willingly grant to you that some women are so +wealthy, placed in situations requiring so much representation, that it +would be degrading to them to take much thought about any thing but the +beauty and fashion of their clothes; and that an anxiety on their part +about the preservation of, to them, trifles would indicate meanness and +parsimoniousness. Their office is to encourage trade by a lavish +expenditure, conformable to the rank in life in which God has placed +them. Happy are they if this wealth do not become a temptation too hard +to be overcome! <a name="Page_133" id="Page_133"></a>Happier those from whom such temptations, denounced in +the word of God more strongly than any other, are entirely averted!</p> + +<p>This is your position; and as much as it is the duty of the very wealthy +to expend proportionally upon their dress, so is it yours to be +scrupulously economical, and to bring down your aspiring thoughts from +the regions of poetry and romance to the homely duties of mending and +caretaking. There will be poetry and romance too in the generous and +useful employment you may make of the money thus economised. Besides, if +you do not yet see that they exist in the smallest and homeliest of +every-day cares, it is only because your mind has not been sufficiently +developed by experience to find poetry and romance in every act of +self-control and self-denial.</p> + +<p>There is, I believe, a general idea that genius and intellectual +pursuits are inconsistent with the minute observations and cares that I +have been recommending; and by nature perhaps they are so. The memoirs +of great men are filled with anecdotes of their incompetency for +commonplace duties, their want of observation, their indifference to +details: you may observe, however, that such men were great in learning +alone; they never exhibited that union of action and thought which is +essential to constitute a heroic character.</p> + +<p>We read that a Charlemagne and a Wallenstein could stoop, in the midst +of their vast designs and splendid successes, to the cares of selling +the eggs of their poultry-yard,<a name="FNanchor_68_68" id="FNanchor_68_68"></a><a href="#Footnote_68_68" class="fnanchor">[68]</a> and of writing minute directions +<a name="Page_134" id="Page_134"></a>for its more skilful management.<a name="FNanchor_69_69" id="FNanchor_69_69"></a><a href="#Footnote_69_69" class="fnanchor">[69]</a> A proper attention to the repair +of the strings of your gowns or the ribbons of your shoes could scarcely +be farther, in comparison, beneath your notice.</p> + +<p>The story of Sir Isaac Newton's cat and kitten has often made you smile; +but it is no smile of admiration: such absence of mind is simply +ridiculous. If, indeed, you should refer to its cause you may by +reflection ascertain that the concentration of thought secured by such +abstraction, in his particular case, may have been of use to mankind in +general; but you must at the same time feel that he, even a Sir Isaac +Newton, would have been a greater man had his genius been more +universal, had it extended from the realms of thought into those of +action.</p> + +<p>With women the same case is much stronger; their minds are seldom, if +ever, employed on subjects the importance and difficulty of which might +make amends for such concentration of thought as would necessarily, +except in first-rate minds, produce abstraction and inattention to +homely every-day duties.</p> + +<p>Even in the case of a genius, one of most rare occurrence, an attention +to details, and thoughtfulness respecting them, though certainly more +difficult, is proportionally more admirable than in ordinary women.</p> + +<p>It was said of the wonderful Elizabeth Smith, that she equally excelled +in every department of life, from the translation of the most difficult +passages of the Hebrew Bible down to the making of a pudding. You should +establish it as a practical truth in your mind, <a name="Page_135" id="Page_135"></a>that, with a strong +will, the intellectual powers may be turned into every imaginable +direction, and lead to excellence in one as surely as in another.</p> + +<p>Even where the strong will is wanting, and there may not be the same +mechanical facility that belongs to more vigorous organizations, every +really useful and necessary duty is still within the reach of all +intellectual women. Among these, you can scarcely doubt that the science +of economy, and that important part of it which consists in taking care +of your clothes, is within the power of every woman who does not look +upon it as beneath her notice. This I suppose you do not, as I know you +to take a rational and conscientious view of the minor duties of life, +and that you are anxious to fulfil those of exactly "that state of life +unto which it has pleased God to call you."<a name="FNanchor_70_70" id="FNanchor_70_70"></a><a href="#Footnote_70_70" class="fnanchor">[70]</a></p> + +<p>I must not close this letter without adverting to an error into which +those of your sanguine temperament would be the most likely to fall.</p> + +<p>You will, perhaps—for it is a common progress—run from one extreme to +another, and from having expended too large a proportion of your income +on personal decoration, you may next withdraw even necessary attention +from it. "All must be given to the poor," will be the decision of your +own impulses and of over-strained views of duty.</p> + +<p>This, however, is, in an opposite direction, quitting the station of +life in which God has placed you, as much as those do who indulge in an +expenditure of double their income. Your dressing according to your +station <a name="Page_136" id="Page_136"></a>in life is as much in accordance with the will of God +concerning you, as your living in a drawing-room instead of a kitchen, +in a spacious mansion instead of a peasant's cottage. Besides, as you +are situated, there is another consideration with respect to your dress +which must not be passed over in silence. The allowance you receive is +expressly for the purpose of enabling you to dress properly, suitably, +and respectably; and if you do not in the first place fulfil the purpose +of the donor, you are surely guilty of a species of dishonesty. You have +no right to indulge personal feeling, or gratify a mistaken sense of +duty, by an expenditure of money for a different purpose from that for +which it was given to you; nor even, were your money exclusively your +own, would you have a right to disregard the opinions of your friends by +dressing in a different manner from them, or from what they consider +suitable for you. If you thus err, they will neither allow you to +exercise any influence over them, nor will they be at all prejudiced in +favour of the, it may be, stricter religious principles which you +profess, when they find them lead to unnecessary singularity, and to +disregard of the feelings and wishes of those around you. It is +therefore your duty to dress like a lady, and not like a peasant +girl,—not only because the former is the station in life God himself +has chosen for you, but also because you have no right to lay out other +people's money on your own devices; and, lastly, because it is your +positive duty, in this as in all other points, to consult and consider +the reasonable wishes and opinions of those with whom God has connected +you by the ties of blood or friendship.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_VIII" id="LETTER_VIII"></a><a name="Page_137" id="Page_137"></a>LETTER VIII.</h2> + +<h3>THE CULTIVATION OF THE MIND.</h3> + + +<p>In writing to you upon the subject of mental cultivation, it would seem +scarcely necessary to dwell for a moment on its advantages; it would +seem as if, in this case at least, I might come at once to the point, +and state to you that which appears to me the best manner of attaining +the object in view. Experience, however, has shown me, that even into +such minds as yours, doubts will often obtain admittance, sometimes from +without, sometimes self-generated, as to the advantages of intellectual +education for women. The time will come, even if you have never yet +momentarily experienced it, when, saddened by the isolation of +superiority, and witnessing the greater love or the greater prosperity +acquired by those who have limited or neglected intellects, you may be +painfully susceptible to the slighting remarks on clever women, learned +ladies, &c., which will often meet your ear,—remarks which you will +sometimes hear from uneducated women, who may seem to be in the +enjoyment of much more peace and happiness than yourself, sometimes from +well-educated and sensible men, whose opinions you justly value. I fear, +in short, that even you may at times be tempted to regret having +directed your attention and devoted your early days to studies which +have only attracted envy or suspicion; that even you <a name="Page_138" id="Page_138"></a>may some day or +other attribute to the pursuits which are now your favourite ones those +disappointments and unpleasantnesses which doubtless await your path, as +they do that of every traveller along life's weary way. This +inconsistency may indeed be temporary; in a character such as yours it +must be temporary, for you will feel, on reflection, that nothing which +others have gained, even were your loss of the same occasioned by your +devotion to your favourite pursuits, could make amends to you for their +sacrifice. A mind that is really susceptible of culture must either +select a suitable employment for the energies it possesses, or they will +find some dangerous occupation for themselves, and eat away the very +life they were intended to cherish and strengthen. I should wish you to +be spared, however, the humiliation of even temporary regrets, which, at +the very least, must occasion temporary loss of precious hours, and a +decrease of that diligent labour for improvement which can only be kept +in an active state of energy by a deep and steady conviction of its +nobleness and utility; further still, (which would be worse than the +temporary consequences to yourself,) at such times of despondency you +might be led to make admissions to the disadvantage of mental +cultivation, and to depreciate those very habits of study and +self-improvement which it ought to be one of the great objects of your +life to recommend to all. You might thus discourage some young beginner +in the path of self-cultivation, who, had it not been for you, might +have cheered a lonely way by the indulgence of healthy, natural tastes, +besides exercising extensive beneficial influence over others. Your +incautious words, doubly dangerous <a name="Page_139" id="Page_139"></a>because they seem to be the result +of experience, may be the cause of such a one's remaining in useless and +wearisome, because uninterested idleness. That you may guard the more +successfully against incurring such responsibilities, you should without +delay begin a long and serious consideration, founded on thought and +observation, both as to the relative advantages of ignorance and +knowledge. When your mind has been fully made up on the point, after the +careful examination I recommend to you, you must lay your opinion aside +on the shelf, as it were, and suffer it no longer to be considered as a +matter of doubt, or a subject for discussion. You can then, when +temporarily assailed by weak-minded fears, appeal to the former +dispassionate and unprejudiced decision of your unbiassed mind. To one +like you, there is no safer appeal than that from a present excited, and +consequently prejudiced self, to another dispassionate, and consequently +wiser self. Let us then consider in detail what foundation there may be +for the remarks that are made to the depreciation of a cultivated +intellect, and illustrate their truth or falsehood by the examples of +those upon whose habits of life we have an opportunity of exercising our +observation.</p> + +<p>First, then, I would have you consider the position and the character of +those among your unmarried friends who are unintellectual and +uncultivated, and contrast them with those who have by education +strengthened natural powers and developed natural capabilities: among +these, it is easy for you to observe whose society is the most useful +and the most valued, whose opinion is the most respected, whose example +is <a name="Page_140" id="Page_140"></a>the most frequently held up to imitation,—I mean by those alone +whose esteem is worth possessing. The giddy, the thoughtless, and the +uneducated may indeed manifest a decided preference for the society of +those whose pursuits and conversation are on a level with their own +capacity; but you surely cannot regret that they should even manifestly +(which however is not often ventured upon) shrink from your society. +"Like to like" is a proverb older than the time of Dante, whose answer +it was to Can della Scala, when reproached by him that the society of +the most frivolous persons was more sought after at court than that of +the poet and philosopher. "Given the amuser, the amusee must also be +given."<a name="FNanchor_71_71" id="FNanchor_71_71"></a><a href="#Footnote_71_71" class="fnanchor">[71]</a> You surely ought not to regret the <i>cordon sanitaire</i> which +protects you from the utter weariness, the loss of time, I might almost +add of temper, which uncongenial society would entail upon you. In the +affairs of life, you must generally make up your mind as to the good +that deserves your preference, and resolutely sacrifice the inferior +advantage which cannot be enjoyed with the greater one. You must +consequently give up all hope of general popularity, if you desire that +your society should be sought and valued, your opinion respected, your +example followed, by those whom you really love and admire, by the wise +and good, by those whose society you can yourself in your turn enjoy. +You must not expect that at the same time you should be the favourite +and chosen companion of the worthless, the frivolous, the uneducated; +you ought not, indeed, to desire it. <a name="Page_141" id="Page_141"></a>Crush in its very birth that mean +ambition for popularity which might lead you on to sacrifice time and +tastes, alas! sometimes even principles, to gain the favour and applause +of those whose society ought to be a weariness to you. Nothing, besides, +is more injurious to the mind than a studied sympathy with mediocrity: +nay, without any "study," any conscious effort to bring yourself down to +their level, your mind must insensibly become weakened and tainted by a +surrounding atmosphere of ignorance and stupidity, so that you would +gradually become unfitted for that superior society which you are formed +to love and appreciate. It is quite a different case when the +dispensations of Providence and the exercise of social duties bring you +into contact with uncongenial minds. Whatever is a duty will be made +safe to you: it can only be from your own voluntary selection that any +unsuitable association becomes injurious and dangerous. Notwithstanding, +however, that it may be laid down as a general rule that the wise will +prefer the society of the wise, the educated that of the educated, it +sometimes happens that highly intellectual and cultivated persons +select, absolutely by their own choice, the frivolous and the ignorant +for their constant companions, though at the same time they may refer to +others for counsel, and direction, and sympathy. Is this choice, +however, made on account of the frivolity and ignorance of the persons +so selected? I am sure it is not. I am sure, if you inquire into every +case of this kind, you will see for yourself that it is not. Such +persons are thus preferred, sometimes on account of the fairness of +their features, sometimes on account of the sweetness of their temper, +<a name="Page_142" id="Page_142"></a>sometimes for the lightheartedness which creates an atmosphere of +joyousness around them, and insures their never officiously obtruding +the cares and anxieties of this life upon their companions. Do not, +then, attribute to want of intellect those attractions which only need +to be combined with intellect to become altogether irresistible, but +which, however, I must confess, it may have an insensible influence in +destroying. For instance, the sweetness, of the temper is seldom +increased by increased refinement of mind; on the contrary, the latter +serves to quicken susceptibility and render perception more acute; and +therefore, unless it is guarded by an accompanying increase of +self-control, it will naturally produce an alteration for the worse in +the temper. This is one point. For the next, personal beauty may be +injured by want of exercise, neglect of health, or of due attention to +becoming apparel, which errors are often the results of an injudicious +absorption in intellectual pursuits. Lastly, a thoughtful nature and +habit of mind must of course induce a quicker perception, and a more +frequent contemplation of the sorrows and dangers of this mortal life, +than the volatile and thoughtless nature and habit of mind have any +temptation to; and thus persons of the former class are often induced, +sometimes usefully, sometimes unnecessarily, but perhaps always +disagreeably, to intrude the melancholy subjects of their own +meditations upon the persons with whom they associate, often making +their society evidently unpleasant, and, if possible, carefully avoided. +It is, however, unjust to attribute any of the inconveniences just +enumerated to those intellectual pursuits which, if properly pursued, +would <a name="Page_143" id="Page_143"></a>prove effectual in improving, nay, even in bestowing, +intelligence, prudence, tact, and self-control, and thus preserving from +those very inconveniences to which I have referred above. Be it your +care to win praise and approbation for the habits of life you have +adopted, by showing that such are the effects they produce in you. By +your conduct you may prove that, if your perceptions have been quickened +and your sensibilities rendered more acute, you have at the same time, +and by the same means, acquired sufficient self-control to prevent +others from suffering ill-effects from that which would in such a case +be only a fancied improvement in yourself. Further, let it be your care +to bestow more attention than before on that external form which you are +now learning to estimate as the living, breathing type of that which is +within. Finally, while your increased thoughtfulness and the developed +powers of your reason will give you an insight in dangers and evils +which others never dream of, be careful to employ your knowledge only +for the improvement or preservation of the happiness of your friends. +Guard within your own breast, however you may long for the relief of +giving a free vent to your feelings, any sorrows or any apprehensions +that cannot be removed or obviated by their revelation. Thus will you +unite in yourself the combined advantages of the frivolous and +intellectual; your society will be loved and sought after as much as +that of the first can be, (only, however, by the wise and good—my +assertion extends no further,) and you will at the same time be +respected, consulted, and imitated, as the clever and educated can alone +be.</p> + +<p>I have hitherto spoken only of the unmarried among <a name="Page_144" id="Page_144"></a>your acquaintance: +let us now turn to the wives and mothers, and observe, with pity, the +position of her, who, though she may be well and fondly loved, is felt +at the same time to be incapable of bestowing sympathy or counsel. It is +indeed, perhaps, the wife and mother who is the best loved who will at +the same time be made the most deeply to feel her powerlessness to +appreciate, to advise, or to guide: the very anxiety to hide from her +that it is the society, the opinion, and the sympathy of others which is +really valued, because it alone can be appreciative, will make her only +the more sensibly aware that she is deficient in the leading qualities +that inspire respect and produce usefulness.</p> + +<p>She must constantly feel her unfitness to take any part in the society +that suits the taste of her more intellectual husband and children. She +must observe that they are obliged to bring down their conversation to +her level, that they are obliged to avoid, out of deference to, and +affection for her, all those varied topics which make social intercourse +a useful as well as an agreeable exercise of the mental powers, an often +more improving arena of friendly discussion than perhaps any professed +debating society could be. No such employment of social intercourse can, +however, be attempted when one of the heads of the household is +uneducated and unintellectual. The weather must form the leading, and +the only safe topic of conversation; for the gossip of the +neighbourhood, commented on in the freedom and security of family life, +imparts to all its members a petty censoriousness of spirit that can +never afterwards be entirely thrown off. Then the education of the +children of such a mother as I have <a name="Page_145" id="Page_145"></a>described must be carried on under +the most serious disadvantages. Money in abundance may be at her +disposal, but that is of little avail when she has no power of forming a +judgment as to the abilities of the persons so lavishly paid for forming +the minds of the children committed to their charge: the precious hours +of their youth will thus be very much wasted; and when self-education, +in some few cases, comes in time to repair these early neglects, there +must be reproachful memories of that ignorance which placed so many +needless difficulties in the path to knowledge and advancement.</p> + +<p>It is not, however, those alone who are bound by the ties of wife and +mother, whose intellectual cultivation may exercise a powerful influence +in their social relations: each woman in proportion to her mental and +moral qualifications possesses a useful influence over all those within +her reach. Moral excellence alone effects much: the amiable, the loving, +and the unselfish almost insensibly dissuade from evil, and persuade to +good, those who have the good fortune to be within the reach of such +soothing influences. Their persuasions are, however, far more powerful +when vivacity, sweetness, and affection are given weight to by strong +natural powers of mind, united with high cultivation. Of all the +"talents" committed to our stewardship, none will require to be so +strictly accounted for as those of intellect. The influence that we +might have acquired over our fellow-men, thus winning them over to think +of and practise "all things lovely and of good report," if it be +neglected, is surely a sin of deeper dye than the misemployment of mere +money. The disregard <a name="Page_146" id="Page_146"></a>of those intellectual helps which we might have +bestowed on others, and thus have extensively benefited the cause of +religion, one of whose most useful handmaids is mental cultivation, will +surely be among the most serious of the sins of omission that will swell +our account at the last day. The intellectual Dives will not be punished +only for the misuse of his riches, as in the case of a Byron or a +Shelley; the neglect of their improvement, by employing them for the +good of others, will equally disqualify him for hearing the final +commendation of "Well done, good and faithful servant."<a name="FNanchor_72_72" id="FNanchor_72_72"></a><a href="#Footnote_72_72" class="fnanchor">[72]</a> This, +however, is not a point on which I need dwell at any length while +writing to you: you are aware, fully, I believe, of the responsibilities +entailed upon you by the natural powers you possess. It is from worldly +motives of dissuasion, and not from any ignorance with regard to that +which you know to be your duty, that you may be at times induced to +slacken your exertions in the task of self-improvement. You will not be +easily persuaded that it is not your duty to educate yourself; the doubt +that will be more easily instilled into your mind will be respecting the +possible injury to your happiness or worldly advancement by the increase +of your knowledge and the improvement of your mind. Look, then, again +around you, and see whether the want of employment confers happiness, +carefully distinguishing, however, between that happiness which results +from natural constitution and that which results from acquired habits. +It is true that many of the careless, thoughtless girls you are +<a name="Page_147" id="Page_147"></a>acquainted with enjoy more happiness, such as they are capable of, in +mornings and evenings spent at their worsted-work, than the most +diligent cultivation of the intellect can ever insure to you. But the +question is, not whether the butterfly can contentedly dispense with the +higher instincts of the industrious, laborious, and useful bee, but +whether the superior creature could content itself with the insipid and +objectless pursuits of the lower one. The mind requires more to fill it +in proportion to the largeness of its grasp: hope not, therefore, that +you could find either their peace or their satisfaction in the +purse-netting, embroidering lives of your thoughtless companions. Even +to them, be sure, hours of deep weariness must come: no human being, +whatever her degree on the scale of mind, is capable of being entirely +satisfied with a life without object and without improvement. Remember, +however, that it is not at all by the comparative contentedness of their +mere animal existence that you can test the qualifications of a habit of +life to constitute your own happiness; that must stand on a far +different basis.</p> + +<p>In the case of a very early marriage, there may be indeed no opportunity +for the weariness of which I have above spoken. The uneducated and +uncultivated girl who is removed from the school-room to undertake the +management of a household may not fall an early victim to <i>ennui</i>; that +fate is reserved for her later days. Household details (which are either +degrading or elevating according as they are attended to as the +favourite occupations of life, or, on the other hand, skilfully managed +as one of its inevitable and important duties) often fill the mind even +more effectually to the <a name="Page_148" id="Page_148"></a>exclusion of better things than worsted-work or +purse-netting would have done. The young wife, if ignorant and +uneducated, soon sinks from the companion of her husband, the guide and +example of her children, into the mere nurse and housekeeper. A clever +upper-servant would, in nine cases out of ten, fulfil all the offices +which engross her time and interest a thousand times better than she can +herself. For her, however, even for the nurse and housekeeper, the time +of <i>ennui</i> must come; for her it is only deferred. The children grow up, +and are scattered to a distance; requiring no further mechanical cares, +and neither employing time nor exciting the same kind of interest as +formerly. The mere household details, however carefully husbanded and +watchfully self-appropriated, will not afford amusement throughout the +whole day; and, utterly unprovided with subjects for thought or objects +of occupation, life drags on a wearisome and burdensome chain. We have +all seen specimens of this, the most hopeless and pitiable kind of +<i>ennui</i>, when the time of acquiring habits of employment, and interest +in intellectual pursuits is entirely gone, and resources can neither be +found in the present, or hoped for in the future. Hard is the fate of +those who are bound to such victims by the ties of blood and duty. They +must suffer, secondhand, all the annoyances which <i>ennui</i> inflicts on +its wretched victims. No natural sweetness of temper can long resist the +depressing influence of dragging on from day to day an uninterested, +unemployed existence; and besides, those who can find no occupation for +themselves will often involuntarily try to lessen their own discomfort +by disturbing the occupations of others. <a name="Page_149" id="Page_149"></a>This species of <i>ennui</i>, of +which the sufferings begin in middle-life and often last to extreme old +age, (as they have no tendency to shorten existence,) is far more +pitiable than that from which the girl or the young woman suffers before +her matron-life begins. Then hope is always present to cheer her on to +endurance; and there is, besides, at that time, a consciousness of power +and energy to change the habits of life into such as would enable her to +brave all future fears of <i>ennui</i>. It is of great importance, however, +that these habits should be acquired immediately; for though they may be +equally possible of acquisition in the later years of youth, there are +in the mean time other dangerous resources which may tempt the +unoccupied and uninterested girl into their excitements. Those whose +minds are of too active and vivacious a nature to live on without an +object, may too easily find one in the dangerous and selfish amusements +of coquetry—in the seeking for admiration, and its enjoyment when +obtained. The very woman who might have been the most happy herself in +the enjoyment of intellectual pursuits, and the most extensively useful +to others, is often the one who, from misdirected energies and feeling, +will pursue most eagerly, be most entirely engrossed by, the delights of +being admired and loved by those to whom in return she is entirely +indifferent. Having once acquired the habit of enjoying the selfish +excitement, the simple, safe, and ennobling employments of +self-cultivation, of improving others, are laid aside for ever, because +the power of enjoying them is lost. Do not be offended if I say that +this is the fate I fear for you. At the present moment, the two paths of +life are <a name="Page_150" id="Page_150"></a>open before you; youth, excitement, the example of your +companions, the easiness and the pleasure of the worldling's career, +make it full of attractions for you. Besides, your conscience does not +perhaps speak with sufficient plainness as to its being the career of +the worldling; you can find admirers enough, and give up to them all the +young, fresh interests of your active mind, all the precious time of +your early youth, without ever frequenting the ball-room, or the +theatre, or the race-course,—nay, even while professedly avoiding them +on principle: we know, alas! that the habits of the selfish and +heartless coquette are by no means incompatible with an outward +profession of religion.</p> + +<p>It is to save you from any such dangers that I earnestly press upon you +the deliberate choice and immediate adoption of a course of life in +which the systematic, conscientious improvement of your mind should +serve as an efficacious preservation from all dangerously exciting +occupations. You should prepare yourself for this deliberate choice by +taking a clear and distinct view of your object and your motives. Can +you say with sincerity that they are such as the following,—that of +acquiring influence over your fellow-creatures, to be employed for the +advancement of their eternal interests—that of glorifying God, and of +obtaining the fulfilment of that promise, "They that turn many to +righteousness shall shine as the stars for ever and ever."<a name="FNanchor_73_73" id="FNanchor_73_73"></a><a href="#Footnote_73_73" class="fnanchor">[73]</a> If this +be the case, your choice must be a right and a noble one; and you will +never have reason to repent of it, either in this world <a name="Page_151" id="Page_151"></a>or the next. +Among the collateral results of this conscientious choice will be a +certain enjoyment of life, more independent of either health or external +circumstances than any other can be, and the lofty self-respect arising +from a consciousness of never having descended to unworthy methods of +amusement and excitement.</p> + +<p>To attain, however, to the pleasures of intellectual pursuits, and to +acquire from them the advantages of influence and respect, is quite a +distinct thing from the promiscuous and ill-regulated habits of reading +pursued by most women. Women who read at all, generally read more than +men; but, from the absence of any intellectual system, they neither +acquire well-digested information, nor, what is of far more importance, +are the powers of their mind strengthened by exercise. I have known +women read for six hours a day, and, after all, totally incapable of +enlightening the inquirer upon any point of history or literature; far +less would they be competent to exercise any process of reasoning, with +relation either to the business of life or the occurrences of its social +intercourse. How many difficulties and annoyances in the course of +every-day life might be avoided altogether if women were early exercised +in the practice of bringing their reasoning powers to bear upon the +small duties and the petty trials that await every hour of our +existence! Their studies are altogether useless, unless they are pursued +with the view of acquiring a sounder judgment, and quicker and more +accurate perceptions of the every-day details of business and duty. That +knowledge is worse than useless which does not lead to <a name="Page_152" id="Page_152"></a>wisdom. To +women, more especially, as their lives can never be so entirely +speculative as those of a few learned men may justifiably be, the great +object in study is the manner in which they can best bring to bear each +acquisition of knowledge upon the improvement of their own character or +that of others. The manner in which they may most effectually promote +the welfare of their fellow-creatures, and how, as the most effectual +means to that end, they can best contribute to their daily and hourly +happiness and improvement,—these, and such as these, ought to be the +primary objects of all intellectual culture. Mere reading would never +accomplish this; mere reading is no more an intellectual employment than +worsted-work or purse-netting. It is true that none of these latter +employments are without their uses; they may all occupy the mind in some +degree, and soothe it, if it were only by creating a partial distraction +from the perpetual contemplation of petty irritating causes of disquiet. +But while we acknowledge that they are all good in their way for people +who can attain nothing better, we must be careful not to fall into the +mistake of confounding the best of them, viz. <i>mere</i> reading, with +intellectual pursuits: if we do so, the latter will be involved in the +depreciation that often falls upon the former when it is found neither +to improve the mind or the character, nor to provide satisfactory +sources of enjoyment.</p> + +<p>There is a great deal of truth in the well-known assertion of Hobbes, +however paradoxical it may at first appear: "If I had read as much as +others, I should be as ignorant." One cannot but feel its applicability +<a name="Page_153" id="Page_153"></a>in the case of some of our acquaintance, who have been for years mere +readers at the rate of five or six hours a day. One of these same hours +daily well applied would have made them more agreeable companions and +more useful members of society than a whole life of their ordinary +reading.</p> + +<p>There must be a certain object of attainment, or there will be no +advance: unless we have decided what the point is that we desire to +reach, we never can know whether the wind blows favourably for us or +not.</p> + +<p>In my next letter, I mean to enter fully into many details as to the +best methods of study; but during the remainder of this, I shall confine +myself to a general view of the nature of that foundation which must +first be laid, before any really valuable or durable superstructure can +be erected.</p> + +<p>The first point, then, to which I wish your attention to be directed is +the improvement of the mind itself,—point of far more importance than +the furniture you put into it. This improvement can only be effected by +exercising deep thought with respect to all your reading, assimilating +the ideas and the facts provided by others until they are blended into +oneness with the forms of your own mind.</p> + +<p>During your hours of study, it is of the utmost importance that no page +should ever be perused without carefully subjecting its contents to the +thinking process of which I have spoken: unless your intellect is +actively employed while you are professedly studying, your time is worse +than wasted, for you are acquiring habits of idleness, that will be most +difficult to lay aside.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_154" id="Page_154"></a>You should always be engaged in some work that affords considerable +exercise to the mind—some book over the sentences of which you are +obliged to pause, to ponder—some kind of study that will cause the +feeling of almost physical fatigue; when, however, this latter sensation +comes on, you must rest; the brain is of too delicate a texture to bear +the slightest over-exertion with impunity.<a name="FNanchor_74_74" id="FNanchor_74_74"></a><a href="#Footnote_74_74" class="fnanchor">[74]</a> Premature decay of its +powers, and accompanying bodily weakness and suffering, will inflict +upon you a severe penalty for any neglect of the symptoms of mental +exhaustion.<a name="FNanchor_75_75" id="FNanchor_75_75"></a><a href="#Footnote_75_75" class="fnanchor">[75]</a> Your mind, however, like your body, ought to be +exercised to the very verge of fatigue; you cannot otherwise be certain +that there has been exercise sufficient to give increased strength and +energy to the mental or physical powers.</p> + +<p>The more vigorous such exercise is, the shorter will be the time you can +support it. Perhaps even an hour of close thinking would be too much for +most women; the object, however, ought not to be so much the quantity as +the quality of the exercise. If your peculiarly delicate and sensitive +organization cannot support more than a quarter of an hour's continuous +and concentrated thought, you must content yourself with that. +Experience will soon prove to you that even the few minutes <a name="Page_155" id="Page_155"></a>thus +employed will give you a great superiority over the six-hours-a-day +readers of your acquaintance, and will serve as a solid and sufficient +foundation for all the lighter superstructure which you will afterwards +lay upon it. This latter, in its due place, I should consider as of +nearly as much importance as the foundation itself; for, keeping +steadily in view that usefulness is to be the primary object of all your +studies, you must devote much more time and attention to the +embellishing, because refining branches of literature, than would be +necessary for those whose office is not so peculiarly that of soothing +and pleasing as woman's is. Even these lighter studies, however, must be +subjected to the same reflective process as the severer ones, or they +will never become an incorporate part of the mind itself: they will, on +the contrary, if this process is neglected, stand out, as the knowledge +of all uneducated people does, in abrupt and unharmonizing prominence.</p> + +<p>It is not to be so much your object to acquire the power of quoting +poetry or prose, or to be acquainted with the names of the authors of +celebrated fictions and their details, as to be imbued with the spirit +of heroism, generosity, self-sacrifice,—in short, the practical love of +the beautiful which every universally-admired fiction, whether it have a +professedly moral tendency or not, is calculated to excite. The refined +taste, the accurate perceptions, the knowledge of the human heart, and +the insight into character, which intellectual culture can highly +improve, even if it cannot create, are to be the principal results as +well as the greatest pleasures to which you are to look forward. In +study, as in every other important pursuit, the immediate +<a name="Page_156" id="Page_156"></a>results—those that are most tangible and encouraging to the faint and +easily disheartened—are exactly those which are least deserving of +anxiety. A couple of hours' reading of poetry in the morning might +qualify you to act the part of oracle that very evening to a whole +circle of inquirers; it might enable you to tell the names, and dates, +and authors of a score of remarkable poems: and this, besides, is a +species of knowledge which every one can appreciate. It is not, however, +comparable in kind to the refinement of mind, the elevation of thought, +the deepened sense of the beautiful, which a really intellectual study +of the same works would impart or increase. I do not wish to depreciate +the good offices of the memory; it is very valuable as a handmaid to the +higher powers of the intellect. I have, however, generally observed that +where much attention has been devoted to the recollection of names, +facts, dates, &c., the higher species of intellectual cultivation have +been neglected: attention to them, on the other hand, would never +involve any neglect of the advantages of memory; for a cultivated +intellect can suggest to itself a thousand associative links by which it +can be assisted and rendered much more extensively useful than a mere +verbal memory could ever be. The more of these links (called by +Coleridge hooks-and-eyes) you can invent for yourself, the more will +your memory become an intellectual faculty. By such means, also, you can +retain possession of all the information with which your reading may +furnish you, without paying such exclusive attention to those tangible +and immediate results of study as would deprive you of the more solid +and permanent ones. These latter consist, as I said before, in the +im<a name="Page_157" id="Page_157"></a>provement of the mind itself, and not in its furniture. A modern +author has remarked, that the improvement of the mind is like the +increase of money from compound interest in a bank, as every fresh +increase, however trifling, serves as a new link with which to connect +still further acquisitions. This remark is strikingly illustrative of +the value of an intellectual kind of memory. Every new idea will serve +as a "hook-and-eye," with which you can fasten together the past and the +future; every new fact intellectually remembered will serve as an +illustration of some formerly-established principle, and, instead of +burdening you with the separate difficulty of remembering itself, will +assist you in remembering other things.</p> + +<p>It is a universal law, that action is in inverse proportion to power; +and therefore the deeply-thinking mind will find a much greater +difficulty in drawing out its capabilities on short notice, and +arranging them in the most effective position, than a mind of mere +cleverness, of merely acquired, and not assimilated knowledge. This +difficulty, however, need not be permanent, though at first it is +inevitable. A woman's mind, too, is less liable to it; as, however +thoughtful her nature may be, this thoughtfulness is seldom strengthened +by habit. She is seldom called upon to concentrate the powers of her +mind on any intellectual pursuits that require intense and +long-continuous thought. The few moments of intense thought which I +recommend to you will never add to your thoughtfulness of nature any +habits that will require serious difficulty to overcome. It is also, +unless a man be in public life, of more importance to a woman than to +him to possess action, viz. <a name="Page_158" id="Page_158"></a>great readiness in the use and disposal of +whatever intellectual powers she may possess. Besides this, you must +remember that a want of quickness and facility in recollection, of ease +and distinctness in expression, is quite as likely to arise from +desultory and wandering habits of thought as from the slowness referable +to deep reflection. Most people find difficulty in forcing their +thoughts to concentrate themselves on any given subject, or in +afterwards compelling them to take a comprehensive glance of every +feature of that subject. Both these processes require much the same +habits of mind: the latter, perhaps, though apparently the more +discursive in its nature, demands a still greater degree of +concentration than the former.</p> + +<p>When the mind is set in motion, it requires a stronger exertion to +confine its movements within prescribed limits than when it is steadily +fixed on one given point. For instance, it would be easier to meditate +on the subject of patriotism, bringing before the mind every quality of +the heart and head that this virtue would have a tendency to develop, +than to take in, at one comprehensive glance,<a name="FNanchor_76_76" id="FNanchor_76_76"></a><a href="#Footnote_76_76" class="fnanchor">[76]</a> the different +qualities of those several individuals who have been most remarked for +the virtue. Unless the thoughts were under strong and habitual control, +they would infallibly wander to other peculiarities of these same +individuals, unconnected with the given subject, to curious facts in +their lives, to contemporary characters, &c.; thus loitering by the +way-side in amusing, but here unprofitable <a name="Page_159" id="Page_159"></a>reflection: for every +exercise of thought like that which I have described is only valuable in +proportion to the degree of accuracy with which we can contemplate with +one instantaneous glance, laid out upon a map as it were, those features +<i>only</i> belonging to the given subject, and keeping out of view all +foreign ones. There is perhaps no faculty of the mind more susceptible +of evident, as it were tangible, improvement than this: besides, the +exercise of mind which it procures us is one of the highest intellectual +pleasures; you should therefore immediately and perseveringly devote +your efforts and attention to seek out the best mode of cultivating it. +Even the reading of books which require deep and continuous thought is +only a preparation for this higher exercise of the faculties—a useful, +indeed a necessary preparation, because it promotes the habit of fixing +the attention and concentrating the powers of the mind on any given +point. In assimilating the thoughts of others, however, with your own +mind and memory, the mind itself remains nearly passive; it is as the +wax that receives the impression, and must for this purpose be in a +suitable state of impressibility. In exact proportion to the +suitableness of this state are the clearness and the beauty of the +impression; but even when most true and most deep, its value is +extrinsic and foreign: it is only when the mind begins to act for itself +and weaves out of its own materials a new and native manufacture, that +the real intellectual existence can be said to commence. While, +therefore, I repeat my advice to you, to devote some portion of every +day to such reading as will require the strongest exertion of your +powers of thought, I wish, at the same time, to <a name="Page_160" id="Page_160"></a>remind you that even +this, the highest species of <i>reading</i>, is only to be considered as a +means to an end: though productive of higher and nobler enjoyments than +the unintellectual can conceive, it is nothing more than the +stepping-stone to the genuine pleasures of pure intellect, to the +ennobling sensation of directing, controlling, and making the most +elevated use of the powers of an immortal mind.</p> + +<p>To woman, the power of abstracted thought, and the enjoyment derived +from it, is even more valuable than to man. His path lies in active +life; and the earnest craving for excitement, for action, which is the +characteristic of all powerful natures, is in man easily satisfied: it +is satisfied in the sphere of his appointed duty; "he must go forth, and +resolutely dare." Not so the woman, whose scene of action is her quiet +home: her virtues must be passive ones; and with every qualification for +successful activity, she is often compelled to chain down her vivid +imagination to the most monotonous routine of domestic life. When she is +entirely debarred from external activity, a restlessness of nature, that +can find no other mode of indulgence, will often invent for itself +imaginary trials and imaginary difficulties: hence the petty quarrels, +the mean jealousies, which disturb the peace of many homes that might +have been tranquil and happy if the same activity of thought and feeling +had been early directed into right channels. A woman who finds real +enjoyment in the improvement of her mind will neither have time nor +inclination for tormenting her servants and her family; an avocation in +which many really affectionate and professedly religious women exhaust +<a name="Page_161" id="Page_161"></a>those superfluous energies which, under wise direction, might have +dispensed peace and happiness instead of disturbance and annoyance. A +woman who has acquired proper control over her thoughts, and can find +enjoyment in their intellectual exercise, will have little temptation to +allow them to dwell on mean and petty grievances. That admirable Swedish +proverb, "It is better to rule your house with your head than with your +heels," will be exemplified in all her practice. Her well-regulated and +comprehensive mind (and comprehensiveness of mind is as necessary to the +skilful management of a household as to the government of an empire) +will be able to contrive such systems of domestic arrangement as will +allot exactly the suitable works at the suitable times to each member of +the establishment: no one will be over-worked, no one idle; there will +not only be a place for every thing, and every thing in its place, but +there will also be a time for every thing, and every thing will have its +allotted time. Such a system once arranged by a master-mind, and still +superintended by a steady and intelligent, but not <i>incessant</i> +inspection, raises the character of the governed as well as that of her +who governs: they are never brought into collision with each other; and +the inferior, whose manual expertness may far exceed that to which the +superior has even the capability of attaining, will nevertheless look up +with admiring respect to those powers of arrangement, and that steady +and uncapriciously-exerted authority, which so facilitate and lighten +the task of obedience and dependence. This mode of managing a household, +even if they found it possible, would of course be disliked by those +who, <a name="Page_162" id="Page_162"></a>having no higher resources, would find the day hang heavy on their +hands unless they watched all the details of household work, and made +every action of every servant result from their own immediate +interference, instead of from an enlarged and uniformly operating +system.</p> + +<p>This subject has brought me back to the point from which I began,—the +<i>practical</i> utility of a cultivated intellect, and the additional power +and usefulness it confers,—raising its possessor above all the mean and +petty cares of daily life, and enabling her to impart ennobling +influences to its most trifling details.</p> + +<p>The power of thought, which I have so earnestly recommended you to +cultivate, is even still more practical, and still more useful, when +considered relatively to the most important business of life—that of +religion. Prayer and meditation, and that communion with the unseen +world which imparts a foretaste of its happiness and glory, are enjoyed +and profited by in proportion to the power of controlling the thoughts +and of exercising the mind. Having a firm trust, that to you every other +object is considered subordinate to that of advancement in the spiritual +life, it must be a very important consideration whether, and how far, +the self-education you may bestow on yourself will help you towards its +attainment. In this point of view there can be no doubt that the mental +cultivation recommended in this letter has a much more advantageous +influence upon your religious life than any other manner of spending +your time. Besides the many collateral tendencies of such pursuits to +favour that growth in grace which I trust will ever remain the principal +<a name="Page_163" id="Page_163"></a>object of your desires, experience will soon show you that every +improvement in the reflective powers, every additional degree of control +over the movements of the mind, may find an immediate exercise in the +duties of religion.</p> + +<p>The wandering thoughts which are habitually excluded from your hours of +study will not be likely to intrude frequently or successfully during +your hours of devotion; the habit of concentrating all the powers of +your mind on one particular subject, and then developing all its +features and details, will require no additional effort for the pious +heart to direct it into the lofty employments of meditation on eternal +things and communion with our God and Saviour: at the same time, the +employments of prayer and meditation will in their turn react upon your +merely secular studies, and facilitate your progress in them by giving +you habits of singleness of mind and steadiness of mental purpose.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_IX" id="LETTER_IX"></a><a name="Page_164" id="Page_164"></a>LETTER IX.</h2> + +<h3>THE CULTIVATION OF THE MIND</h3> + +<h5>(<i>Continued</i>.)</h5> + + +<p>In continuation of my last letter, I shall proceed at once to the minor +details of study, and suggest for your adoption such practices as others +by experience have found conducive to improvement. Not that one person +can lay down any rules for another that might in every particular be +safely followed: we must, each for ourselves, experimentalize long and +variously upon our own mind, before we can understand the mode of +treatment best suited to it; and we may, perhaps, in the progress of +such experiments, derive as much benefit from our mistakes themselves as +if the object of our experiments had been at once attained. It is not, +however, from wilful mistakes, or from deliberate ignorance, that we +ever derive profit. Instead, therefore, of striking out entirely new +plans for yourself, in which time and patience and even hope may be +exhausted, I should advise you to listen for direction to the +suggestions of those who by more than mere profession have frequented +the road upon which you are anxious to make a rapid progress. In books +you may find much that is useful; from the conversation of those who +have <a name="Page_165" id="Page_165"></a>been self-educated you may receive still greater assistance,—as +the advice thus personally addressed must of course be more +discriminating and special. For this latter reason, in all that I am now +about to write, I keep in view the peculiar character and formation of +your mind. I do not address the world in general, who would profit +little by the course of education here recommended: I only write to my +Unknown Friend.</p> + +<p>In the first place, I should advise, as of primary importance, the +laying down of a regular system of employment. Impose upon yourself the +duty of getting through so much work every day; even, if possible, lay +down a plan as to the particular period of the day in which each +occupation is to be attended to; many otherwise wasted moments would be +saved by having arranged beforehand that which is successively to engage +the attention. The great advantage of such regularity is experienced in +the acknowledged truth of Lord Chesterfield's maxim: "He who has most +business has most leisure." When the multiplicity of affairs to be got +through absolutely necessitates the arrangement of an appointed time for +each, the same habits of regularity and of undilatoriness (if I may be +allowed the expression) are insensibly carried into the lighter pursuits +of life. There is another important reason for the self-imposition of +those systematic habits which to men of business are a necessity; it is, +however, one which you cannot at all appreciate until you have +experienced its importance: I refer to the advantage of being, by a +self-imposed rule, provided with an immediate object, in which the +intellectual pursuits of a woman must otherwise be deficient. I <a name="Page_166" id="Page_166"></a>would +not depreciate the mightiness of "the future;"<a name="FNanchor_77_77" id="FNanchor_77_77"></a><a href="#Footnote_77_77" class="fnanchor">[77]</a> but it is evident that +the human mind is so constituted as to feel that motives increase in +strength as they approach in nearness; otherwise, why should it require +such strong faith, and that faith a supernatural gift, to enable us to +sacrifice the present gratification of a moment to the happiness of an +eternity. While, therefore, you seek by earnest prayer and reverential +desire to bring the future into perpetually operating force upon your +principles and practice, do not, at the same time, be deterred by any +superstitious fears from profiting by yourself and urging on others +every immediate and temporal motive, not inconsistent with the great +one, "to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever."<a name="FNanchor_78_78" id="FNanchor_78_78"></a><a href="#Footnote_78_78" class="fnanchor">[78]</a></p> + +<p>While your principal personal object and personal gratification in your +studies is to be derived from the gradual improvement of your mind and +tastes, this gradual improvement will be often so imperceptible that you +will need support and cheering during many weeks and months of +apparently profitless mental application. Such support you may provide +for yourself in the daily satisfaction resulting from having fulfilled a +certain task, from having obeyed a law, though only a self-imposed one. +Men, in their studies, have almost always that near and immediate object +which I recommend to you to create for yourself. For them, as well as +for you, the distant future of attained mental eminence and excellence +is indeed the principal object. They, however, have it in their power to +cheat the <a name="Page_167" id="Page_167"></a>toil and cheer the way by many intermediate steps, which +serve both as landmarks in their course and objects of interest within +their immediate reach. They can almost always have some special object +in view, as the result and reward of the studies of each month, or +quarter, or year. They read for prizes, scholarships, fellowships, &c.; +and these rewards, tangibly and actually within their reach, excite +their energies and quicken their exertions.</p> + +<p>For women there is nothing of the kind; it is therefore a useful +exercise of her ingenuity to invent some substitute, however inferior to +the original. For this purpose, I have never found any thing so +effectual as a self-imposed system of study,—the stricter the better. +It is not desirable, however, that this system should be one of very +constant employment; the strictness of which I spoke only refers to its +regularity. As the great object is that you should break through your +rules as seldom as possible, it would be better to fix the number of +your hours of occupation rather below, certainly not above, your average +habits. The time that may be to spare on days in which you meet with no +interruption from visitors may also be systematically disposed of: you +may always have some book in hand which will be ready to fill up any +unoccupied moments, without, even on these occasions, wasting your time +in deliberating as to what your next employment shall be.</p> + +<p>You understand me, therefore, to recommend that those hours of the +system which you are to impose upon yourself to employ in a certain +manner are not to exceed the number you can ordinarily secure without +<a name="Page_168" id="Page_168"></a>interruption on <i>every</i> day of the week, exclusive of visitors, &c. &c. +Every advantage pertaining to the system I recommend is much enhanced by +the uniformity of its observance: indeed, it is on rigid attention to +this point that its efficacy principally depends. I will now enter into +the details of the system of study which, however modified by your own +mind and habits, will, I hope, in some form or other, be adopted by you. +The first arrangement of your time ought to be the laying apart of a +certain period every day for the deepest thinking you can compel +yourself to, either on or off book.</p> + +<p>Having said so much on this point in my last letter, I should run the +risk of repetition if I dwelt longer upon it here. I only mention it at +all to give it again the most prominent position in your studies, and to +recommend its invariably occupying a daily place in them. For every +other pursuit, two or three times a week might answer as well, perhaps +better, as it would be too great an interruption to devote to each only +so short a period of time as could be allotted to it in a daily +distribution. It may be desirable, before I take leave of the subject of +your deeper studies, to mention here some of the books which will give +you the most effectual aid in the formation of your mind.</p> + +<p>Butler's Analogy will be perhaps the very best to begin with: you must +not, however, flatter yourself that you in any degree understand this or +other books of the same nature until you penetrate into their extreme +difficulty,—until, in short, you find out that you can <i>not</i> thoroughly +understand them <i>yet</i>. Queen Caroline, George II.'s wife, in the hope of +proving to Bishop <a name="Page_169" id="Page_169"></a>Horsley how fully she appreciated the value of the +work I have just mentioned, told him that she had it constantly beside +her at her breakfast-table, to read a page or two in it whenever she had +an idle moment. The Bishop's reply was scarcely intended for a +compliment. He said <i>he</i> could never open the book without a headache; +and really a headache is in general no bad test of our having thought +over a book sufficiently to enter in some degree into its real meaning: +only remember, that when the headache begins the reading or the thinking +must stop. As you value tho long and unimpaired preservation of your +powers of mind, guard carefully against any over-exertion of them.</p> + +<p>To return to the "Analogy." It is a book of which you cannot too soon +begin the study,—providing you, as it will do, at once with materials +for the deepest thought, and laying a safe foundation for all future +ethical studies; it is at the same time so clearly expressed, that you +will have no perplexity in puzzling out the mere external form of the +idea, instead of fixing all your attention on solving the difficulties +of the thoughts and arguments themselves. Locke on the Human +Understanding is a work that has probably been often recommended to you. +Perhaps, if you keep steadily in view the danger of his materialistic, +unpoetic, and therefore untrue philosophy, the book may do you more good +than harm; it will furnish you with useful exercise for your thinking +powers; and you will see it so often quoted as authority, on one side as +truth, on the other as falsehood, that it may be as well you should form +your own judgment of it. You should <a name="Page_170" id="Page_170"></a>previously, however, become guarded +against any dangers that might result from your study of Locke, by +acquiring a thorough-knowledge of the philosophy of Coleridge. This will +so approve itself to your conscience, your intellect, and your +imagination, that there can be no risk of its being ever supplanted in a +mind like yours by "plebeian"<a name="FNanchor_79_79" id="FNanchor_79_79"></a><a href="#Footnote_79_79" class="fnanchor">[79]</a> systems of philosophy. Few have now +any difficulty in perceiving the infidel tendencies of that of Locke, +especially with the assistance of his French philosophic followers, +(with whose writings, for the charms of style and thought, you will +probably become acquainted in future years.) They have declared what the +real meaning of his system is by the developments which they have proved +to be its necessary consequences. Let Coleridge, then, be your previous +study, and the philosophic system detailed in his various writings may +serve as a nucleus, round which all other philosophy may safely enfold +itself. The writings of Coleridge form an era in the history of the +mind; and their progress in altering the whole character of thought, not +only in this but in foreign nations, if it has been slow, (which is one +of the necessary conditions of permanence,) has been already +astonishingly extensive. Even those who have never heard of the name of +Coleridge find their habits of thought moulded, and their perceptions of +truth cleared and deepened, by the powerful influence of his +master-mind,—powerful still, though it has probably only reached them +through three or four interposing <a name="Page_171" id="Page_171"></a>mediums. The proud boast of one of +his descendants is amply verified: "He has given the power of vision:" +and in ages yet to come, many who may unfortunately be ignorant of the +very name of their benefactor will still be profiting daily, more and +more, by the mental telescopes he has provided. Thus it is that many +have rejoiced in having the distant brought near to them, and the +confused made clear, without knowing that Jansen was the name of him who +had conferred such benefits upon mankind. The immediate artist, the +latest moulder of an original design, is the one whose skill is extolled +and depended upon; and so it is even already in the case of Coleridge. +It is those only who are intimately acquainted with him who can plainly +see, that it is by the power of vision he has conferred that the really +philosophic writers of the present day are enabled to give views so +clear and deep on the many subjects that now interest the human mind. +All those among modern authors who combine deep learning with an +enlarged wisdom, a vivid and poetical imagination with an acute +perception of the practical and the true, have evidently educated +themselves in the school of Coleridge. He well deserves the name of the +Christian Plato, erecting as he does, upon the ancient and long-tried +foundation of that philosopher's beautiful system of intuitive truths, +the various details of minor but still valuable knowledge with which the +accumulated studies of four thousand intervening years have furnished +us, at the same time harmonizing the whole by the all-pervading spirit +of Christianity.</p> + +<p>Coleridge is truly a Christian philosopher: at the same time, however, +though it may seem a paradox, I <a name="Page_172" id="Page_172"></a>must warn you against taking him for +your guide and instructor in theology. A Socinian during all the years +in which vivid and never-to-be-obliterated impressions are received, he +could not entirely free himself from those rationalistic tendencies +which had insensibly incorporated themselves with all his religious +opinions. He afterwards became the powerful and successful defender of +the saving truths which he had long denied; but it was only in cases +where Arianism was openly displayed, and was to be directly opposed. He +seems to have been entirely unconscious that its subtle evil tendencies, +its exaltation of the understanding above the reason, its questioning, +disobedient spirit, might all in his own case have insinuated themselves +into his judgments on theological and ecclesiastical questions. The +prejudices which are in early youth wrought into the very essence of our +being are likely to be unsuspected in exact proportion to the degree of +intimacy with which they are assimilated with the forms of our mind. +However this may be, you will not fail to observe that, in all branches +of philosophy that do not directly refer to religion, Coleridge's system +of teaching is opposed to the general character of his own theological +views, and that he has himself furnished the opponents of these peculiar +views with the most powerful arms that can be wielded against them.</p> + +<p>Every one of Coleridge's writings should be carefully perused more than +once, more than twice; in fact, they cannot be read too often; and the +only danger of such continued study would be, that in the enjoyment of +finding every important subject so beautifully thought out for you, +natural indolence might deter you from <a name="Page_173" id="Page_173"></a>the comparatively laborious +exercise of thinking them out for yourself. The three volumes of his +"Friend," his "Church and State," his "Lay Sermons," and "Statesman's +Manual," will each of them furnish you with most important present +information and with inexhaustible materials for future thought.</p> + +<p>Reid's "Inquiry into the Human Mind," and Dugald Stewart's "Philosophy +of the Mind," are also books that you must carefully study. Brown's +"Lectures on Philosophy" are feelingly and gracefully written; but +unless you find a peculiar charm and interest in the style, there will +not be sufficient compensation for the sacrifice of time so voluminous a +work would involve. Those early chapters which give an account of the +leading systems of Philosophy, and some very ingenious chapters on +Memory, are perhaps as much of the book as will be necessary for you to +study carefully.</p> + +<p>The works of the German philosopher Kant will, some time hence, serve as +a useful exercise of thought; and you will find it interesting as well +as useful to trace the resemblances and differences between the great +English and the great German philosophers, Kant and Coleridge. Locke's +small work on Education contains many valuable suggestions, and Watts on +the Mind is also well worthy your attention. It is quite necessary that +Watts' Logic should form a part of your studies; it is written +professedly for women, and with ingenious simplicity. A knowledge of the +forms of Logic is useful even to women, for the purpose of sharpening +and disciplining the reasoning powers.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_174" id="Page_174"></a>Do not be startled when I further recommend to you Blackstone's +"Commentaries" and Burlamaqui's "Treatise on Natural Law." These are +books which, besides affording admirable opportunities for the exercise +of both concentrated and comprehensive thought, will fill your mind with +valuable ideas, and furnish it with very important information. Finally, +I recommend to your unceasing and most respectful study the works of +that "Prince of modern philosophers," Lord Bacon. In his great mind were +united the characteristics of the two ancient, but nevertheless +universal, schools of philosophy, the Aristotelic and the Platonic. It +is, I believe, the only instance known of such a difficult combination. +His "Essays," his "Advancement of Learning," his "Wisdom of the +Ancients," you might understand and profit by, even now. Through all the +course of an education, which I hope will only end with your life, you +cannot do better than to keep him as your constant companion and +intellectual guide.</p> + +<p>The foregoing list of works seems almost too voluminous for any woman to +make herself mistress of; but you may trust to one who has had extensive +experience for herself and others, that the principle of "Nulla dies +sine lineâ" is as useful in the case of reading as in that of painting: +the smallest quantity of work daily performed will accomplish in a +year's time that which at the beginning of the year would have seemed to +the inexperienced a hopeless task.</p> + +<p>As yet, I have only spoken of philosophy; there is, however, another +branch of knowledge, viz. science, which also requires great +concentration of thought, and which ought to receive some degree of +attention, <a name="Page_175" id="Page_175"></a>or you will appear, and, what would be still worse, feel, +very stupid and ignorant with respect to many of the practical details +of ordinary life. You are continually hearing of the powers of the +lever, the screw, the wedge, of the laws of motion, &c. &c., and they +are often brought forward as illustrations even on simply literary +subjects. An acquaintance with these matters is also necessary to enter +with any degree of interest into the wonderful exhibitions of mechanical +powers which are among the prominent objects of attention in the present +day. You cannot even make intelligent inquiries, and betray a graceful, +because unwilling ignorance, without some degree of general knowledge of +science.</p> + +<p>Among the numerous elementary works which make the task of +self-instruction pleasant and easy, none can excel, if any have +equalled, the "Scientific Dialogues" of Joyce. In these six little +volumes, you will find a compendium of all preliminary knowledge; even +these, however, easy as they are, require to be carefully studied. The +comparison of the text with the plates, the testing for yourself the +truth of each experiment, (I do not mean that you should practically +test it, except in a few easy cases, for your mind has not a sufficient +taste for science to compensate for the trouble,) will furnish you with +very important lessons in the art of fixing your attention.</p> + +<p>"Conversations on Natural Philosophy," in one volume, by a lady, is +nearly as simple and clear as the "Scientific Dialogues;" it will serve +usefully as a successor to them. It is a great assistance to the memory +to read a different work on the same subject while the <a name="Page_176" id="Page_176"></a>first is still +fresh in your mind. The sameness of the facts gives the additional force +of a double impression; and the variation in the mode of stating them, +always more striking when the books are the respective works of a man +and of a woman, adds the force of a trebled impression, stronger than +the two others, because there is in it more of the exercise of the +intellect, that is, on the supposition that, in accordance with the +foregoing rules, you should think over each respective statement until +you have reconciled them together by ascertaining the cause of the +variation.</p> + +<p>I shall now proceed to those lighter branches of literature which are +equally necessary with the preceding, and which will supply you with the +current coin of the day,—very necessary for ordinary intercourse, +though, in point of real value, far inferior to the bank-stock of +philosophic and scientific knowledge which it is to be your chief object +to acquire. History is the branch of lighter literature to which your +attention should be specially directed; it provides you with +illustrations for all philosophy, with excitements to heroism and +elevation of character, stronger perhaps than any mere theory can ever +afford. The simplest story, the most objective style of narrative, will +be that best fitted to answer these purposes. Your own philosophic +deductions will be much more beneficial to your intellect than any one +else's, supposing always that you are willing to make, history a really +intellectual study.</p> + +<p>Tytler's "Elements of History" is a most valuable book, and not an +unnecessary word throughout the whole. If you do not find getting by +heart an insuper<a name="Page_177" id="Page_177"></a>able difficulty, you will do well to commit every line +to memory. Half a page a day of the small edition would soon lay up for +you such an extent of historic learning as would serve for a foundation +to all future attainments in this branch of study. Such outlines of +history are a great assistance in forming the comprehensive views which +are necessary on the subject of contemporaneous history: a glance at a +chart of history, or at La Voisne's invaluable Atlas, may be allowed +from time to time; but the principal arrangement ought to take place +within your own mind, for the sake of both your memory and your +intellect. Such outlines of history will, however, be very deficient in +the interest and excitement this study ought to afford you, unless you +combine with them minute details of particular periods, first, perhaps, +of particular countries.</p> + +<p>Thus I would have Rollings Ancient History succeed the cold and dry +outlines of Tytler. Hume's History of England will serve the same +purpose relatively to the modern portion; and for the History of France, +that of Eyre Evans Crowe imparts a brilliancy to perhaps the most +uninteresting of all historic records. If that is not within your reach, +Millet's History of France, in four volumes, though dull enough, is a +safe and useful school-room book, and may be read with profit +afterwards: this, too, would possess the advantage of helping you on at +the same time, or at least keeping up your knowledge of the French +language.</p> + +<p>It is desirable that all books from which you only want to acquire +objective information should be read in a foreign language: you thus +insensibly render yourself more permanently, and as it were habitually, +<a name="Page_178" id="Page_178"></a>acquainted with the language in question, and carry on two studies at +the same time. If, however, you are not sufficiently acquainted with the +language to prevent any danger of a division of attention by your being +obliged to puzzle over the mere words instead of applying yourself to +the meaning of the author, you must not venture upon the attempt of +deriving a double species of knowledge from the same subject-matter: the +effect of the history as a story or picture impressed on the mind or +memory would be lost by any confusion with another object.</p> + +<p>Sir Walter Scott's "Tales of a Grandfather" are the best history of +Scotland you could read: Robertson's may come afterwards, when you have +time.</p> + +<p>Of Ireland and Wales you will learn enough from their constant +connection with the affairs of England. Sismondi's History of the +Italian Republics, in the Cabinet Cyclopedia, the History of the Ottoman +Empire, in Constable's Miscellany, the rapid sketches of the histories +of Germany, Austria, and Prussia, in Voltaire's Universal History, will +be perhaps quite sufficient for this second class of histories.</p> + +<p>The third must enter into more particular details, and thus confer a +still livelier interest upon bygone days. For instance, with reference +to ancient history, you should read some of the more remarkable of +Plutarch's Lives, those of Alexander, Cæsar, Theseus, Themistocles, &c.; +the Travels of Anacharsis, the worthy results of thirty years' hard +labour of an eminent scholar:<a name="FNanchor_80_80" id="FNanchor_80_80"></a><a href="#Footnote_80_80" class="fnanchor">[80]</a> the Travels of Cyrus, Telemachus, +Belisarius, <a name="Page_179" id="Page_179"></a>and Numa Pompilius, are also, though in very different +degrees, useful and interesting. The plays of Corneille and Racine, +Alfieri, and Metastasio, on historical subjects, will make a double +impression on your memory by the excitement of your imagination. All +ought to be read about the same time that you are studying those periods +of history to which they refer. This is of much importance.</p> + +<p>The same plan is to be pursued with reference to modern history. The +brilliant detached histories of Voltaire, Louis XIV. and XV., Charles +XII., and Peter the Great, ought to be read while the outlines of the +general history of the same period are freshly impressed on your memory. +The vivid historical pictures of De Barante are to be made the same use +of: he stands perhaps unrivalled as an objective historian.</p> + +<p>Shakspeare's historical plays are the best accompaniment to Hume's +History of England. Our modern novels, too, will supply you with rich +and varied information, as to the manners and characters of former +times. They are a very important part of our literature, and ought to be +considered essential to the completion of your circle of study. That +they also may be rendered as useful as possible, they should be read at +the same time with the entirely true history of the period to which they +refer.</p> + +<p>From history, I have insensibly glided into the subject of works of +fiction, one which perhaps previously requires a few words of apology; +for the strong recommendations with which I have pressed their study +upon you may sound strangely to the ears of many worthy people. In your +own enlightened and liberal mind, I <a name="Page_180" id="Page_180"></a>do not indeed suspect the +indwelling of any such exclusive prejudices as those which forbid +altogether the perusal of works of fiction: such prejudices belong, +perhaps, to more remote periods, to those distant times when title-pages +were seen announcing "Paradise Lost, translated into prose for the +benefit of those pious souls whose consciences would not permit them to +read poetry."<a name="FNanchor_81_81" id="FNanchor_81_81"></a><a href="#Footnote_81_81" class="fnanchor">[81]</a> This latter prejudice—that against poetry—seems, as +far as my observation extends, to be entirely forgotten. Fiction in this +form is now considered universally allowable; and some conscientious +persons, who would not allow themselves or others the relaxation of a +novel of any kind, will indulge unhesitatingly in the same sort of +love-stories, rendered still more exciting through the medium of poetry. +Most women, unfortunately, are incapable of carrying out the argument +from one course of action into another, or even of clearly +comprehending, when it is suggested to them, that whatever is wrong in +prose cannot be right in poetry. In a general way you will be able to +form your own judgment on this subject, by observing how much safer +prose-fiction is for yourself at times, when your feelings are excited, +and your mind unsettled and exhausted. A novel, even the most trifling +novel of fashionable life, if it has only cleverness sufficient to +engage your thoughts, would be, perhaps, a very desirable manner of +spending your time at the very period that poetry would be decidedly +injurious to you. Indeed, at all times, those who have vivid +imaginations and strong feelings should carefully guard and <a name="Page_181" id="Page_181"></a>sparingly +indulge themselves in the perusal of poetic fictions.</p> + +<p>If it were possible, as some say, to study poetry artistically alone, +contemplating it as a work of art, and not allowing it to excite the +affections or the passions, there is no kind of poetry that might not be +enjoyed with safety in any state of mind: it is doubtful, however, +whether any work of art ought to be so contemplated. Its excellence can +only be estimated by the degree of emotion it produces; how then can an +unimpassioned examination ever form a true estimate of its merit? When +such an inspection of any work of art can be carried through, there is +generally some fault either in the thing criticized or in the critic; +for the distinctive characteristic of art is, that it is addressed to +our <i>human</i> nature, and excites its emotions. In the words of the great +German poet:—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span>Science, O man, thou sharest with higher spirits;<br /></span> +<span>But art thou hast alone.<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Pure science must be the same to all orders of created beings, but, as +far as our knowledge extends, the physical organization of humanity is +required for a perception of the beauties of art: therefore physical +excitement must be united with mental, in proportion as the work of art +is successful. Do not then hope ever to be able to study poetry without +a quickened pulse and a flushing cheek; you may as well leave it alone +altogether, if it produces no emotion. It must be either rhyme and no +poetry, or to you poetry can be nothing but rhyme.</p> + +<p>Think not, however, that I do wish you to leave it <a name="Page_182" id="Page_182"></a>alone altogether; +nothing could be farther from my purpose.</p> + +<p>There is some old saying about fire being a good servant, but a bad +master. Now this is what I would say of the faculty of imagination, as +cultivated and excited by works of fiction in general, including, of +course, poetic fictions. As long as you can keep your imagination, even +though thus quickened and excited, under the strict control of religious +feeling—as long as you are able to prevent its rousing your temper to +an uncontrollable degree of susceptibility—as long as you can return +from an ideal world to the lowly duties of every-day life with a steady +purpose and unflinching determination, there can be no danger for you in +reading poetry. Perhaps you will, on the contrary, tell me that all this +is impossible, and, coward-like, you may prefer resigning the pleasure +to encountering the difficulties of struggling against its consequences: +but this is not the way either to strengthen your character or to form +your mind. All cultivation requires watchfulness and additional +precautions, either more or less: you must not, for the sake of a few +superable difficulties, resign the otherwise unattainable refinement +effected by poetry. Besides, its exalting and ennobling influence, if +properly understood and employed, will help you incalculably over the +rugged paths of your daily life; it will shed softening and hallowing +gleams over many things that you would otherwise find difficult to +endure, many duties otherwise too hard to fulfil; for there is poetry in +every thing that is really good and true. Happy those practical students +of its beauties who have learned to track the ore beneath the most +<a name="Page_183" id="Page_183"></a>unpromising surfaces! Poetry, I look upon, in fact, as the most +essential, the most vital part of the cultivation of your mind, as from +its spirit your character will receive the most beneficial influence: +you must learn the double lesson of extracting it from every thing, and +of throwing it around every thing; and, for the better attainment of +this object, you must study it in itself, that you may become deeply +imbued with its spirit.</p> + +<p>Along with the poetry of every age and of every nation, I would have you +diligently study the criticisms of the masters of the art. It is true +that the intimate knowledge of all that has been written on this +hackneyed subject will never supply the want of natural poetic taste, of +that union of mental and moral refinement which produces the only +infallible touchstone of the beautiful; still such criticisms will tend +to refine and sharpen a natural taste, where it does exist; and without +bringing its technical rules practically to bear upon the objects of +your delighted admiration,<a name="FNanchor_82_82" id="FNanchor_82_82"></a><a href="#Footnote_82_82" class="fnanchor">[82]</a> they will insensibly improve, refine, and +subtilize the natural delicacy of your perceptions.</p> + +<p>No criticisms can perhaps equal the masterly ones of Frederick Schlegel, +or those of the less powerful but not less rich mind of Augustus William +Schlegel,"—those two wonderful brothers," as a modern littérateur has +justly called them. Leigh Hunt, with perhaps more poetic originality, +but with less accuracy of æsthetical perception, will be a useful guide +to you in English poetry. Burke's "Treatise on the Sublime and +<a name="Page_184" id="Page_184"></a>Beautiful" will give you the most correct general ideas on the subject +of taste. These are always best and most influential after they have +been for some time assimilated with the forms of the mind. It is a far +more useful exercise to apply them yourself to individual cases than +merely to lend your attention, though carefully and fixedly, to the +applications made for you by the writer. Alison's "Essay on Taste," +though interesting and improving, saves too much trouble to the reader +in this way.</p> + +<p>Your enjoyment and appreciation of poetry will be much heightened by +having it read aloud,—by yourself to yourself, if you should have no +other sympathizing reader or listener.</p> + +<p>The sound of the metre is essential to the full <i>sense</i> of the meaning +and of the beauty of all poetry. Even the rhymeless flow of blank verse +is absolutely necessary to an accurate and entire perception of the +effect the author intends to produce: it is in both cases as the +colouring to a picture. It may be, indeed, that part of the composition +which appeals most directly to the senses; but all the works of art must +be imperfect which do not make this appeal; for, as I said before, all +works of art are intended to affect our <i>human</i> nature.</p> + +<p>A well-practised <i>eye</i> will, it is true, detect in a moment either the +faults or the excellence of the rhyme or the flow; but the effect on the +mind cannot be the same as when the impression is received through the +<i>ear</i>.</p> + +<p>Nor is the fuller appreciation of the poetry you read aloud the only +advantage to be derived from the practice I recommend. Few +accomplishments are more rare, <a name="Page_185" id="Page_185"></a>though few more desirable, than that of +reading aloud with ease and grace. Great are the sufferings inflicted on +a sensitive ear by listening to one's favourite passages, touching in +pathos, or glorious in sublimity, travestied into twaddle by the false +taste or the want of practice of the reader. For it is not always from +false taste that the species of reading above complained of proceeds; on +the contrary, there may be a very correct perception of the writer's +meaning and object, while from want of practice, from mere mechanical +inexpertness, there may be an incapability of giving effect to that +meaning: hence arises false emphasis, and a thousand other +disagreeables.</p> + +<p>In this art, this important art of reading aloud, simplicity ought to be +the grand object of attainment, at the same time that it is the last +that can be attained. It is a point to reach after long efforts; not to +start from, as those of uncultivated or artificial taste would imagine. +I must repeat, that it cannot be acquired without persevering practice. +The best time to set vigorously about such practice would be when you +have but just listened with dismay to the injuries inflicted on some +favourite poet by the laboured or tasteless reading of an unpractised +performer.</p> + +<p>From reading aloud, I pass on to a still more important subject,—that +of writing: both are intimately connected branches of the main +one—cultivation of the mind. When this latter is attained in the first +place, a slight individual direction of previously acquired powers will +enable you to succeed in both the former. In your own case, however, as +in that of all those who have not the active organisation which involves +great facilities <a name="Page_186" id="Page_186"></a>for mechanical efforts, it will be quite necessary to +give a special direction to your studies for the attainment of any +degree of excellence in both those arts. Those, on the contrary, whose +organization is more lively and vigorous, and whose nature and habits +fit them more for action than thought, will find little difficulty in +making any degree of cultivation of mind an immediate stepping-stone to +the other attainments: such persons can read at once with force and +truth as soon as education has given them accurate perceptions; they +will also write with ease, rapidity, and energy, as soon as the mind is +furnished with suitable materials. This is a kind of superiority which +you may often be inclined to envy, at least until experience has taught +you, in the first place, that the law of compensation is universal, and +in the second, that every thing is doubly valuable which is acquired +through hard labour and many struggles. For the first, you may observe +that such persons as possess naturally the mechanical facilities of +which I have spoken will never attain to an equal degree of excellence +with those whose naturally soft and inactive organization obliges them +to labour over every step of their onward way. They can, I repeat, never +attain to the same degree of excellence, either in feeling or +expression, because they do not possess the same refined delicacy of +perceptions, the same deep thoughtfulness and intuitive wisdom, as those +who owe these advantages to the very organization from which they +otherwise suffer. This is another illustration of the universal +law—that action is always in inverse proportion to power. For the +second, you will find that there is a pleasure in overcoming +difficulties, com<a name="Page_187" id="Page_187"></a>pared with which all easily attained or naturally +possessed advantages appear tame and vapid:<a name="FNanchor_83_83" id="FNanchor_83_83"></a><a href="#Footnote_83_83" class="fnanchor">[83]</a> and besides the +difference in the pleasurable excitement of the contest, you are to +consider the advantage to the character that is derived from a battle +and a victory.</p> + +<p>When I speak to you of writing, and of your attaining to excellence in +this art, I have nothing in view but the improvement of your private +letters. It can seldom be desirable for a woman to challenge public +criticism by appearing before the world as an author. "My wife does not +write poetry, she lives it," was the reply of Richter, when his +highly-gifted Caroline was applied to for literary contributions to her +sister's publications. He described in these words the real nature of a +woman's duties. Any degree of avoidable publicity must lessen her peace +and happiness; and few circumstances can make it prudent for a woman to +give up retirement and retired duties, and subject herself to public +criticism, and probably public blame.</p> + +<p>The writing, then, in which I have advised you to accomplish yourself, +is the epistolary style alone, at once a means of communicating pleasure +to your friends, and of conferring extensive and permanent benefits upon +them. How useful has the kind, judicious, well-timed letter of a +Christian friend often proved, even when the spoken word of the same +friend might, during <a name="Page_188" id="Page_188"></a>circumstances of excitement, have only increased +imprudence or irritation!</p> + +<p>Few printed books have effected more good than the private +correspondence of pious, well-educated, and strong-minded persons. +Indeed, the influence exercised by letters and conversation is so much +the peculiar and appropriate sphere of a woman's usefulness, that all +her studies should be pursued with an especial view to the attainment of +these accomplishments. The same qualities are to be desired in both. The +utmost simplicity—for nothing can be worse than speaking as if you were +repeating a sentence out of a book, except writing a friendly letter as +if you were writing out of a book,—a great abundance and readiness of +information for the purpose of supplying a variety of illustrations, an +intelligent perception of, and a cautious attention to, that which you +are called upon to answer, a conciseness of expression, that is +perfectly consistent with those minute details, which, gracefully +managed, as women only can, form the chief charm of their conversation +and writing,—with all these you should be careful to give free play to +the peculiarities of your own individual mind: this will always, even +where there is little or no talent, produce a pleasing degree of +originality.</p> + +<p>Before every thing else, however, let unstudied ease, I could almost add +carelessness, be the marked characteristics of both your conversation +and your writing. Refined taste will indeed insensibly produce the +former, without any effort of your own, far better than the strictest +rules could do.</p> + +<p>The praises of nonsense have been often written and <a name="Page_189" id="Page_189"></a>often spoken; nor +can it ever be praised more than it deserves. However "within its magic +circle none dare walk"<a name="FNanchor_84_84" id="FNanchor_84_84"></a><a href="#Footnote_84_84" class="fnanchor">[84]</a> but those who have naturally quick and +refined perceptions, assisted by careful cultivation. Narrow indeed is +the boundary which divides unfeminine flippancy from the graceful +nonsense which good authority and our own feelings pronounce to be +"exquisite."<a name="FNanchor_85_85" id="FNanchor_85_85"></a><a href="#Footnote_85_85" class="fnanchor">[85]</a> The unsuccessful attempt at its imitation always +reminds me of Pilpay's fable of the Donkey and the Lapdog:—The poor +donkey, who had been going on very usefully in its own drudging way, +began to envy the lap-dog the caresses it received, and fancied that it +would receive the same if it jumped upon its master as the lap-dog did: +how awkwardly and unnaturally its attempts at playfulness were executed, +how unwelcome they proved, I need not tell you. Nothing is more +difficult than playfulness or even vivacity of manner—nothing is so +sure a test of good breeding and high cultivation of mind; either may +carry you safely through, but their union alone can render playfulness +and vivacity entirely fascinating.</p> + +<p>After all that I have written, I must again repeat what I began +with,—that you are to try each different mode of study for yourself, +and that the advice of others will be of use to you only when you have +assimilated it with your own mind, testing it by your own practice, and +giving it the fair trial of <i>patient</i> perseverance.</p> + +<p>I ought perhaps, before I close this letter, to make <a name="Page_190" id="Page_190"></a>some apology for +recommending, as a part of your course of study, either Rollin or Hume, +one because he is "<i>trop bon homme</i>,"<a name="FNanchor_86_86" id="FNanchor_86_86"></a><a href="#Footnote_86_86" class="fnanchor">[86]</a> the other because he is not +"<i>bon</i>" in any sense of the word. My apology, or rather my reason, will, +however, be only a repetition of that which I have said before, viz. +that I should wish you to read history strictly, and merely, as a story, +and to form your <i>own</i> philosophic and religious opinions previously, +and from other sources.</p> + +<p>So many valuable and important histories, so many necessary books on +every subject, have been written by the professed infidel, as well as by +the practical forgetter of God, that you must prepare yourself for a +constant state of intellectual watchfulness, as to all the various +opinions suggested by the different authors you study. It is not their +opinions you want, but their facts. Most standard histories, even Hume +and Voltaire, tell truth as to all leading facts: after half-a-century +or so of filtration, truth becomes purified from contemporary passions +and prejudices, and can be easily got at without any importantly +injurious mixture.</p> + +<p>It was to mark my often-repeated wish that you should <i>philosophize</i> for +yourself, that I have omitted the names of Guizot and Hallam in the list +of authors recommended for your perusal. With the tastes which I suppose +you to possess and to acquire, you will not be likely to leave them out +of your own list. The histories of Arnold and Niebuhr also belong to a +distinct class of writings. I should prefer your being intimately +acquainted with the so-called poetical histories <a name="Page_191" id="Page_191"></a>which have been so +long received and loved, before you interest yourself in these modern +discoveries.</p> + +<p>The lectures of Dr. Arnold upon Modern History contain, however, such a +treasure of brilliant philosophy, of deep thought and forcible writing, +that the sooner you begin them, and the more intimately you study them, +the better pleased I should be. With respect to his singular views on +religion and politics, you must always keep carefully in mind that his +peculiar mental organization incapacitated him from forming correct +opinions on any subject connected with imagination or metaphysics. You +will soon be able to trace the manner in which the absence of these two +powers affected all his reasonings, and closed up his mind against the +most important species of evidence. I carry on the supposition that you +have formed, or will form, all your views on religion and politics from +your own judgment, assisted by the experience of those whose mind you +know to be qualified by their many-sidedness to judge clearly and +impartially—upon universal, not <i>partial</i> data. Remember, at the same +time, however, that you belong to a church which professedly protests +against popes of every description, against the unscriptural practice of +calling any man "Father upon earth." May you attend diligently, and in a +child-like spirit of submission, to the teaching of that Holy and +Apostolic Church, and there will then be no danger of your being led +astray either by the infidel Hume or the sainted Arnold.</p> + +<p>Finally, I would again refer to that subject which ought to be the +beginning and end, the foundation and crowning-point of all our studies. +Let "whatever <a name="Page_192" id="Page_192"></a>you do be done to the glory of God."<a name="FNanchor_87_87" id="FNanchor_87_87"></a><a href="#Footnote_87_87" class="fnanchor">[87]</a> Earthly motives, +if pure and amiable ones, may hold a subordinate place; but unless the +mainspring of your actions be the desire "to glorify your Father which +is in heaven," you will find no real peace in life, no blessedness in +death. As one likely means of keeping this primary object of your life +constantly before you, I should strongly recommend your making the +cultivation and improvement of your mental powers the subject of special +prayer at all the appointed seasons of prayer; at the same time, your +studies themselves should never be entered upon without prayer,—prayer, +that the evil mingled with all earthly things may fall powerless on your +sanctified heart,—prayer, that any improvement you obtain may make you +a more useful servant of the Lord your God—more persuasive and +influential in that great work which in different ways is appropriated +to all in their several spheres of action, viz. the high and holy office +of winning souls to Christ.<a name="FNanchor_88_88" id="FNanchor_88_88"></a><a href="#Footnote_88_88" class="fnanchor">[88]</a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LETTER_X" id="LETTER_X"></a><a name="Page_193" id="Page_193"></a>LETTER X.</h2> + +<h3>AMUSEMENTS.</h3> + + +<p>In addressing the following observations to you, I keep in mind the +peculiarity of your position,—a position which has made you, while +scarcely more than a child, independent of external control, and forced +you into the responsibilities of deciding thus early on a course of +conduct that may seriously affect your temporal and eternal interests. +More happy are those placed under the authority of strict parents, who +have already chosen and marked out for themselves a path to which they +expect their children strictly to adhere. The difficulties that may +still perplex the children of such parents are comparatively few: even +if the strictness of the authority over them be inexpedient and over +strained, it affords them a safeguard and a support for which they +cannot be too grateful; it preserves them from the responsibility of +acting for themselves at a time when their age and inexperience alike +unfit them for a decision on any important practical point; it keeps +them disengaged, as it were, from being pledged to any peculiar course +of conduct until they have formed and matured their opinion as to the +habits of social intercourse most expedient for them to adopt. Thus, +when the time for independent action comes, they are quite free to +pursue any new course of life without being shackled by former +professions, <a name="Page_194" id="Page_194"></a>or exposing themselves to the reproach (and consequent +probable loss of influence) of having altered their former opinions and +views.</p> + +<p>Those, then, who are early guarded from any intercourse with the world +ought, instead of murmuring at the unnecessary strictness of their +seclusion, to reflect with gratitude on the advantages it affords them. +Faith ought, even now, to teach them the lesson that experience is sure +to impress on every thoughtful mind, that it is a special mercy to be +preserved from the duties of responsibility until we are, comparatively +speaking, fitted to enter upon them.</p> + +<p>This is not, however, the case with you. Ignorant and inexperienced as +you are, you must now select, from among all the modes of life placed +within your reach, those which you consider the best suited to secure +your welfare for time and for eternity. Your decision now, even in very +trifling particulars, must have some effect upon your state in both +existences. The most unimportant event of this life carries forward a +pulsation into eternity, and acquires a solemn importance from the +reaction. Every feeling which we indulge or act upon becomes a part of +ourselves, and is a preparation, by our own hand, of a scourge or a +blessing for us throughout countless ages.</p> + +<p>It may seem a matter of comparative unimportance, of trifling influence +over your future fate, whether you attend Lady A.'s ball to-night, or +Lady H.'s to-morrow. You may argue to yourself that even those who now +think balls entirely sinful have attended hundreds of them in their +time, and have nevertheless become afterwards more religious and more +useful than others who <a name="Page_195" id="Page_195"></a>have never entered a ball-room. You might add, +that there could be more positive sin in passing two or three hours with +two or three people in Lady A's house in the morning than in passing the +same number of hours with two or three hundred people in the same house +in the evening. This is indeed true; but are you not deceiving yourself +by referring to the mere overt act? That is, as you imply, past and over +when the evening is past; but it is not so with the feelings which <i>may</i> +make the ball either delightful or disagreeable to you; feelings, which +may be then for the first time excited, never to be stilled +again,—feelings which, when they once exist, will remain with you +throughout eternity; for even if by the grace of God they are finally +subdued, they will still remain with you in the memory of the painful +conflicts, the severe discipline of inward and outward trials, required +for their subjugation. Do not, however, suppose that I mean to attribute +exclusive or universally injurious effects to the atmosphere of a +ball-room. In the innocent smiles and unclouded brow of many a fair +girl, the experienced eye truly reads their freedom from any taint of +envy, malice, or coquetry; while, on the other hand, unmistakeable and +unconcealed exhibitions of all these evil feelings may often be +witnessed at a so-called "religious party."</p> + +<p>This remark, however, is not to my purpose; it is only made <i>par +parenthèse</i>, to obviate any pretence for mistaking my meaning, and for +supposing that I attribute positive sin to that which I only object to +as the possible, or rather the probable occasion of sin. I always think +this latter distinction a very important one to attend to in discussing, +in a more general point <a name="Page_196" id="Page_196"></a>of view, the subject of amusements of every +kind: it is, however, enough merely to notice it here, while we pass on +to the question which I urge upon you to apply personally to yourself, +namely, whether the ball-room be not a more favourable atmosphere for +the first excitement and after-cultivation of many feminine failings +than the quieter and more confined scenes of other social intercourse.</p> + +<p>It is by tracing the effect produced on our own mind that we can alone +form a safe estimate of the expediency of doubtful occupations. This is +the primary point of view in which to consider the subject, though by no +means the only one; for every Christian ought to exhibit a readiness in +his own small sphere to emulate the unselfishness of the great apostle: +"If meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world +standeth, lest I make my brother to offend."<a name="FNanchor_89_89" id="FNanchor_89_89"></a><a href="#Footnote_89_89" class="fnanchor">[89]</a> The fear of the awful +threatenings against those who "offend," <i>i.e.</i> lead into sin, any of +"God's little ones,"<a name="FNanchor_90_90" id="FNanchor_90_90"></a><a href="#Footnote_90_90" class="fnanchor">[90]</a> should combine with love for those for whom the +Saviour died, to induce us freely to sacrifice things which would be +personally harmless, on the ground of their being injurious to others.</p> + +<p>This part of the subject is, however, of less importance for our present +consideration, as from your youth and inexperience your example cannot +yet exercise much influence on those around you.</p> + +<p>Let us therefore return to the more personal part of the subject, +namely, the effect produced on your own mind. I have spoken of feminine +"failings:" I should, <a name="Page_197" id="Page_197"></a>however, be inclined to apply a stronger term to +the first that I am about to notice—the love of admiration, considering +how closely it must ever be connected with the fatal vice of envy. She +who has an earnest craving for general admiration for herself, is +exposed to a strong temptation to regret the bestowal of any admiration +on another. She has an instinctive exactness in her account of receipt +and expenditure; she calculates almost unconsciously that the time and +attention and interest excited by the attractive powers of others is so +much homage subtracted from her own. That beautiful aphorism, "The human +heart is like heaven—the more angels the more room for them," is to +such persons as unintelligible in its loving spirit as in its wonderful +philosophic truth. Their craving is insatiable, once it has become +habitual, and their appetite is increased and stimulated, instead of +being appeased, by the anxiously-sought-for nourishment.</p> + +<p>These observations can only strictly apply to the fatal desire for +general admiration. As long as the approbation only of the wise and good +is our object, it is not so much that there are fewer opportunities of +exciting the feeling of envy at this approbation being granted to +others; there is, further, an instinctive feeling of its incompatibility +with the very object we are aiming at. The case is altogether different +when we seek to attract those whose admiration may be won by qualities +quite different from any connected with moral excellence. There is here +no restraint on our evil feelings: and when we cannot equal the +accomplishments, the beauty, and the graces of another, we may possibly +be tempted to envy, and, still further, to depreciate, <a name="Page_198" id="Page_198"></a>those of the +hated rival—perhaps, worse than all, may be tempted to seek to attract +attention by means less simple and less obvious. If the receiving of +admiration be injurious to the mind, what must the seeking for it be! +"The flirt of many seasons" loses all mental perceptions of refinement +by long practice in hardihood, as the hackneyed practitioner +unconsciously deepens the rouge upon her cheek, until, unperceived by +her blunted visual organs, it loses all appearance of truth and beauty. +Some instances of the kind I allude to nave come before even your +inexperienced eyes; and from the shrinking surprise with which you now +contemplate them, I have no doubt that you would wish to shun even the +first step in the same career. Indeed, it is probable that you, under +any circumstances, would never go so far in coquetry as those to whom +your memory readily recurs. Your innate delicacy, your feminine +high-mindedness may, at any future time, as well as at present, preserve +you from the bad taste of challenging those attentions which your very +vanity would reject as worthless if they were not voluntarily offered.</p> + +<p>Nevertheless, even in you, habits of dissipation may produce an effect +which to your inmost being may be almost equally injurious. You may +possess an antidote to prevent any external manifestations of the +poisonous effects of an indulged craving for excitement; but general +admiration, however spontaneously offered and modestly received, has +nevertheless a tendency to create a necessity for mental stimulants. +This, among other ill-effects, will, worst of all, incapacitate you from +the appreciative enjoyment of healthy food.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span><a name="Page_199" id="Page_199"></a>The heart that with its luscious cates<br /></span> +<span class="i2">The world has fed so long,<br /></span> +<span>Could never taste the simple food<br /></span> +<span>That gives fresh virtue to the good,<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Fresh vigour to the strong.<a name="FNanchor_91_91" id="FNanchor_91_91"></a><a href="#Footnote_91_91" class="fnanchor">[91]</a><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>The pure and innocent pleasures which the hand of Providence diffuses +plentifully around us will, too probably, become tasteless and insipid +to one whose habits of excitement have destroyed the fresh and simple +tastes of her mind. Stronger doses, as in the case of the opium-eater, +will each day be required to produce an exhilarating effect, without +which there is now no enjoyment, without which, in course of time, there +will not be even freedom from suffering.</p> + +<p>There is an analogy throughout between the mental and the physical +intoxication; and it continues most strikingly, even when we consider +both in their most favourable points of view, by supposing the victim to +self-indulgence at last willing to retrace her steps. This fearful +advantage is granted to our spiritual enemy by wilful indulgence in sin; +that it is only when trying to adopt or resume a life of sobriety and +self-denial that we become exposed to the severest temporal punishments +of self-indulgence. As long as a course of this self-indulgence is +continued, if external things should prosper with us, comparative peace +and happiness may be enjoyed—(if indeed the loftier pleasures of +devotion to God, self-control, and active usefulness can be +forgotten,—supposing them to have been once experienced.) It is only +when the grace of repentance is granted that the returning child of God +becomes at <a name="Page_200" id="Page_200"></a>the same time alive to the sinfulness of those pleasures +which she has cultivated the habit of enjoying, and to the mournful fact +of having lost all taste for those simple pleasures which are the only +safe ones, because they alone leave the mind free for the exercise of +devotion, and the affections warm and fresh for the contemplation of +"the things that belong to our peace."</p> + +<p>Sad and dreary is the path the penitent worldling has to traverse; +often, despairing at the difficulties her former habits have brought +upon her, she looks back, longingly and lingeringly, upon the broad and +easy path she has lately left. Alas! how many of those thus tempted to +"look back" have turned away entirely, and never more set their faces +Zion-ward.</p> + +<p>From the dangers and sorrows just described you have still the power of +preserving yourself. You have as yet acquired no factitious tastes; you +still retain the power of enjoying the simple pleasures of innocent +childhood. It now depends upon your manner of spending the intervening +years, whether, in the trying period of middle-age, simple and natural +pleasures will still awaken emotions of joyousness and thankfulness in +your heart.</p> + +<p>I have spoken of thankfulness,—for one of the best tests of the +innocence and safety of our pleasures is, the being able to thank God +for them. While we thus look upon them as coming to us from his hand, we +may safely bask in the sunshine of even earthly pleasures:—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span>The colouring may be of this earth,<br /></span> +<span>The lustre comes of heavenly birth.<a name="FNanchor_92_92" id="FNanchor_92_92"></a><a href="#Footnote_92_92" class="fnanchor">[92]</a><br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p><a name="Page_201" id="Page_201"></a>Can you feel this with respect to the emotions of pleasurable excitement +with which you left Lady M.'s ball? I am no fanatic, nor ascetic; and I +can imagine it possible (though not probable) that among the visitors +there some simple-minded and simple-hearted people, amused with the +crowds, the dresses, the music, and the flowers, may have felt, even in +this scene of feverish and dangerous excitement, something of "a child's +pure delight in little things."<a name="FNanchor_93_93" id="FNanchor_93_93"></a><a href="#Footnote_93_93" class="fnanchor">[93]</a> Without profaneness, and in all +sincerity, they might have thanked God for the, to them, harmless +recreation.</p> + +<p>This I suppose possible in the case of some, but for you it is not so. +The keen susceptibilities of your excitable nature will prevent your +resting contented without sharing in the more exciting pleasures of the +ball-room; and your powers of adaptation will easily tempt you forward +to make use of at least some of those means of attracting general +admiration which seem to succeed so well with others.</p> + +<p>"Wherever there is life there is danger;" and the danger is probably in +proportion to the degree of life. The more energy, the more feeling, the +more genius possessed by an individual, the greater also are the +temptations to which that individual is exposed. The path which is safe +and harmless for the dull and inexcitable—the mere animals of the human +race—is beset with dangers for the ardent, the enthusiastic, the +intellectual. These must pay a heavy penalty for their superiority; but +is it therefore a superiority they would resign? Besides, the very +trials and temptations to <a name="Page_202" id="Page_202"></a>which their superior vitality subjects them +are not alone its necessary accompaniment, but also the necessary means +for forming a superior character into eminent excellence.</p> + +<p>Self-will, love of pleasure, quick excitability, and consequent +irritability, are the marked ingredients in every strong character; its +strength must be employed against itself to produce any high moral +superiority.</p> + +<p>There is an analogy between the metaphysical truths above spoken of and +that fact in the physical history of the world, that coal-mines are +generally placed in the neighbourhood of iron-mines. This is a provision +involved in the nature of the thing itself; and we know that, without +the furnaces thus placed within reach, the natural capabilities of the +useful ore would never be developed.</p> + +<p>In the same way, we know that an accompanying furnace of affliction and +temptation is necessarily involved in that very strength of character +which we admire; and also, that, without this fiery furnace, the vast +capabilities of their nature, both moral and mental, could never be +fully developed.</p> + +<p>Suffering, sorrow, and temptations are the invariable conditions of a +life of progress; and suffering, sorrow, and temptations are all of them +always in proportion to the energies and capabilities of the character.</p> + +<p>There is another analogy in animated nature, illustrative of the case of +those who, without injury to themselves, (the injury to our neighbour +is, as I said before, a different part of the subject,) may attend the +ball-room, the theatre, and the race-course. Those animals lowest in the +scale of creation, those who <a name="Page_203" id="Page_203"></a>scarcely manifest one of the energies of +vitality, are also those which are the least susceptible of suffering +from external causes. The medusæ are supposed to feel no pain even in +being devoured, and the human zoophyte is, in like manner, comparatively +out of the reach of every suffering but death. Have you not seen some +beings endowed with humanity nearly as destitute of a nervous system as +the medusæ, nearly as insusceptible of any sensation from the accidents +of life. Some of these, too, may possess virtue and piety as well as the +animal qualities of patience and sweetness of temper, which are the mere +results of their physical organization. No degree of effort or +discipline, however, (indeed they bear within themselves no capabilities +for either,) could enable such persons to become eminently useful, +eminently respected, or eminently loved. They have doubtless some work +appointed them to do, and that a necessary work in God's earthly +kingdom; but theirs are inferior duties, very different from those which +you, and such as you, are called on to fulfil.</p> + +<p>Have I in any degree succeeded in reconciling you to the +unvaryingly-accompanying penalties necessary to qualify the glad +consciousness of possessing intellectual powers, a warm heart, and a +strong mind? Your high position will indeed afford you far less +happiness than that which may belong to the lower ranks in the scale of +humanity; but the noble mind will soon be disciplined into dispensing +with happiness;—it will find instead—blessedness.</p> + +<p>If yours be a more difficult path than that of others, it is also a more +honourable one: in proportion to the <a name="Page_204" id="Page_204"></a>temptations endured will be the +brightness of that "crown of life which the Lord hath promised to them +that love him."<a name="FNanchor_94_94" id="FNanchor_94_94"></a><a href="#Footnote_94_94" class="fnanchor">[94]</a></p> + +<p>But there is, perhaps, less necessity for trying to impress upon your +mind a sense of your superiority than for urging upon you its +accompanying responsibility, and the severe circumspection it calls upon +you to exercise. Thus, from what I have above written, it necessarily +follows that you cannot evade the question I am now pressing upon you by +observing the effect of dissipation upon others, by bringing forward the +example of many excellent women who have passed through the ordeal of +dissipation untainted, and, still themselves possessing loving hearts +and simple minds, are fearlessly preparing their daughters for the same +dangerous course. Remember that those from whom you would shrink from a +supposed equality on other points cannot be safely taken as examples for +your own course of life. Your own concern is to ascertain the effect +produced upon your own mind by different kinds of society, and to +examine whether you yourself have the same healthy taste for simple +pleasures and unexciting pursuits as before you engaged, even as +slightly as you have already done, in the dissipation of a London +season.</p> + +<p>I once heard a young lady exclaim, when asked to accompany her family on +a boating excursion, "Can any thing be more tiresome than a family +party?" Young as she was, she had already lost all taste for the simple +pleasures of domestic life. As she was in<a name="Page_205" id="Page_205"></a>tellectual and accomplished, +she could still enjoy solitude; but her only ideas of pleasure as +connected with a party were those of admiration and excitement. We may +trace the same feelings in the complaints perpetually heard of the +stupidity of parties,—complaints generally proceeding from those who +are too much accustomed to attention and admiration to be contented with +the unexciting pleasures of rational conversation, the exercise of +kindly feelings, and the indulgence of social habits—all in their way +productive of contentment to those who have preserved their mind in a +state of freshness and simplicity. Any greater excitement than that +produced by the above means cannot surely be profitable to those who +only seek in society for so much pleasure as will afford them +<i>relaxation</i>; those who engage in an arduous conflict with ever-watchful +enemies both within and without ought carefully to avoid having their +weapons of defence <i>unstrung</i>. I know that at present you would shrink +from the idea of making pleasure your professed pursuit, from the idea +of engaging in it for any other purpose but the one above stated—that +of necessary relaxation; I should not otherwise have addressed you as I +do now. Your only danger at present is, that you may, I should hope +indeed unconsciously, <i>acquire</i> the habit of requiring excitement during +your hours of relaxation.</p> + +<p>In opposition to all that I have said, you will probably be often told +that excitement, instead of being prejudicial, is favourable to the +health of both mind and body; and this in some respects is true: the +whole mental and physical constitution benefit by, and acquire new +energy from, nay, they seem to develop hidden <a name="Page_206" id="Page_206"></a>forces on occasions of +natural excitement; but natural it ought to be, coming in the +providential course of the events of life, and neither considered as an +essential part of daily food, nor inspiring distaste for simple, +ordinary nourishment. I fear much, on the other hand, any excitement +that we choose for ourselves; that only is quite safe which is dispensed +to us by the hand of the Great Physician of souls: he alone knows the +exact state of our moral constitution, and the exact species of +discipline it requires from hour to hour.</p> + +<p>You will wonder, perhaps, that throughout the foregoing remonstrance I +have never recommended to you the test so common among many good people +of our acquaintance, viz. whether you are able to pray as devoutly on +returning from a ball as after an evening spent at home? My reason for +this silence was, that I have found the test an ineffectual one. The +advanced Christian, if obedience to those who are set in authority over +her should lead her into scenes of dissipation, will not find her mind +disturbed by being an unwilling actor in the uninteresting amusements. +She, on the other hand, who is just beginning a spiritual life, must be +an incompetent judge of the variations in the devotional spirit of her +mind,—anxious, besides, as one should be to discourage any of that +minute attention to variations of religious feeling which only disturbs +and harasses the mind, and hinders it from concentrating its efforts +upon obedience. Lastly, she who has never been mindful of her baptismal +vows of renunciation of the world, the flesh, and the devil, will "say +her prayers" quite as satisfactorily to herself after a day spent in one +manner as in another. The test of a dis<a name="Page_207" id="Page_207"></a>taste for former simple +pursuits, and want of interest in them, is a much safer one, more +universally applicable, and not so easily evaded. It is equally +effectual, too, as a religious safeguard; for the natural and +impressible state in which the mind is kept by the absence of habitual +stimulants is surely the state in which it is best qualified for the +exercise of devotion,—for self-denial, for penitence and prayer.</p> + +<p>Let us return now to a further examination of the nature of the dangers +to which you may be exposed by a life of gayety—an examination that +must be carried on in your own mind with careful and anxious inquiry. I +have before spoken of the duty of ascertaining what effects different +kinds of society produce upon you: it is only by thus qualifying +yourself to pass your <i>own</i> judgment on this important subject that you +can avoid being dangerously influenced by those assertions that you hear +made by others. You will probably, for instance, be told that a love of +admiration often manifests itself as glaringly in the quiet drawing-room +as in the crowded ball-room; and I readily admit that the feelings +cherished into existence, or at least into vigour, by the exciting +atmosphere of the latter cannot be readily laid aside with the +ball-dress. There will, indeed, be less opportunity for their display, +less temptation to the often accompanying feelings of envy and +discontent, but the mental process will probably still be carried on—of +distilling from even the most innocent pleasures but one species of +dangerous excitement: I cannot, however, admit, that to the +unsophisticated mind there will be any danger of the same nature in the +one case as in the other. Society, when entered <a name="Page_208" id="Page_208"></a>into with a simple, +prayerful spirit, may be considered one of the most improving as well as +one of the most innocent pleasures allotted to us. Still further, I +believe that the exercise of patience, benevolence, and self-denial +which it involves, is a most important part of the disciplining process +by which we are being brought into a state of preparation for the +society of glorified spirits, of "just men made perfect."</p> + +<p>I advise you earnestly, therefore, against any system of conduct, or +indulgence of feeling, that would involve your seclusion from +society—not only on the grounds of such seclusion obliging you to +unnecessary self-denial, but on the still stronger grounds of the loss +to our moral being which would result from the absence of the peculiar +species of discipline that social intercourse affords. My object in +addressing you is to point out the dangers to you of peculiar kinds of +society, not by any means to seek to persuade you to avoid it +altogether.</p> + +<p>Let us, then, consider carefully the respective tendencies of different +kinds of society to cherish or create the feelings of "envy, hatred, and +malice, and all uncharitableness," by exciting a craving for general +admiration, and a desire to secure the largest portion for yourself.</p> + +<p>You have already been a few weeks out in the world; you have been at +small social parties and crowded balls: they must have given you +sufficient experience to understand the remarks I make.</p> + +<p>Have you not, then, felt at the quiet parties of which I have spoken (as +contrasted with dissipated ones) that it was pleasure enough for you to +spend your whole <a name="Page_209" id="Page_209"></a>evening talking with persons of your own sex and age +over the simple occupations o£ your daily-life, or the studies which +engage the interest of your already cultivated mind? Lady L. may have +collected a circle of admirers around her, and Miss M.'s music may have +been extolled as worthy of an artist, but upon all this you looked +merely as a spectator; without either wish or idea of sharing in their +publicity or their renown, you probably did not form a thought, +certainly not a wish, of the kind. In the ball-room, however, the case +is altogether different; the most simple and fresh-minded woman cannot +escape from feelings of pain or regret at being neglected or unobserved +here. She goes for the professed purpose of dancing; and when few or no +opportunities are afforded her of sharing in that which is the amusement +of the rest of the room, should she feel neither mortification at her +own position, nor envy, however disguised and modified, at the different +position of others, she can possess none of that sensitiveness which is +your distinctive quality. It is true, indeed, that the experienced +chaperon is well aware that the girl who commands the greatest number of +partners is not the one most likely to have the greatest number of +proposals-at the end of the season, nor the one who will finally make +the most successful <i>parti</i>. This reconciles the prudential looker-on to +the occasional and partial appearance of neglect. Not so the young and +inexperienced aspirant to admiration: <i>her</i> worldliness is now in an +earlier phase; and she thinks that her fame rises or falls among her +companions according as she can compete with them in the number of her +partners, or their exclusive devotion <a name="Page_210" id="Page_210"></a>to her, which after a season or +two is discovered to be a still safer test of successful coquetry. Thus +may the young innocent heart be gradually led on to depend for its +enjoyment on the factitious passing admiration of a light and +thoughtless hour; and still worse, if possessed of keen susceptibilities +and powers of quick adaptation, the lesson is often too easily learned +of practising the arts likely to attract notice, thus losing for ever +the simplicity and modest freshness of a woman's nature. That may be a +fatal evening to you on which you will first attract sufficient notice +to have it said of you that you were more admired than Lucy D. or Ellen +M.; this may be a moment for a poisonous plant to spring up in your +heart, which will spread around its baleful influence until your dying +day. It is a disputed point among ethical metaphysicians, whether the +seeds of every vice are equally planted in each human bosom, and only +prevented from germinating by opposing circumstances, and by the grace +of God assisting self-control. If this be true, how carefully ought we +to avoid every circumstance that may favour the commencing existence of +before unknown sins and temptations. The grain that has been destitute +of vitality for a score of centuries is wakened into unceasing, because +continually renewed existence, by the fostering influences of light and +air and a suitable soil. Evil tendencies may be slumbering in your +bosom, as destitute of life, as incapable of growth, as the oats in the +foldings of the mummy's envelope. Be careful lest, by going into the way +of temptation, you may involuntarily foster them into the very existence +which they would otherwise never possess.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_211" id="Page_211"></a>When once the craving for excitement has become a part of our nature, +there is of course no safety in the quietest, or, under other +circumstances, most innocent kind of society. The same amusements will +be sought for in it as those which have been enjoyed in the ball-room, +and every company will be considered insufferably wearisome which does +not furnish the now necessary stimulant of exclusive attention and +general admiration.</p> + +<p>I write the more strongly to you on the subject of worldly amusements, +because I see with regret a tendency in the writings and conversation of +the religious world, as it is called, to extol every other species of +self-denial, but to Observe a studied silence respecting this one.</p> + +<p>A reaction seems to have taken place in the public mind. Instead of the +puritanic strictness that condemned the meeting of a few friends for any +purposes besides those of reading the Scriptures and praying extempore, +practices are now introduced, and favoured, and considered harmless, +almost as strongly contrasted with the former ones as was the +promulgation of the Book of Sports with the strict observances that +preceded it. We see some, of whose piety and excellence no doubt can be +entertained, mingling unhesitatingly in the most worldly amusements of +those who are by profession as well as practice "lovers of pleasure more +than lovers of God."</p> + +<p>How cruelly are the minds of the simple and the timid perplexed by the +persons who thus act, as well as by those popular writings which +countenance in professedly religious persons these worldly and +self-<a name="Page_212" id="Page_212"></a>indulgent habits of life. The hearts and the consciences of the +"weak brethren" re-echo the warnings given them by the average opinions +of the wise and good in all ages of the world, namely, that, with +respect to worldly amusements, they must "come out and be separate." How +else can they be sons and daughters of Him, to whom they vowed, as the +necessary condition of entering into that high relationship, that they +would "renounce the pomps and vanities of this wicked world?" If the +question of pomps should be perplexing to some by the different +requirements of different stations in life, there is surely less +difficulty of the same kind in relation to its vanities. But while the +"weak in faith" are hesitating and trembling at the thought of all the +opposition and sacrifices a self-denying course of conduct must, under +any circumstances, involve, they are still further discouraged by +finding that some whom they are accustomed to respect and admire have in +appearance gone over to the enemy's camp.</p> + +<p>It is only, indeed, in their hours of relaxation that they select as +their favourite companions those who are professedly engaged in a +different service from their own—those whom they know to be devoted +heart and soul to the love and service of that "world which lieth in +wickedness."<a name="FNanchor_95_95" id="FNanchor_95_95"></a><a href="#Footnote_95_95" class="fnanchor">[95]</a> Are not, however, their hours of relaxation also their +hours of danger—those in which they are more likely to be surprised and +overcome by temptation than in hours of study or of business? All this +is surely very perplexing to the young and inex<a name="Page_213" id="Page_213"></a>perienced, however +personally safe and prudent it may be for those from whom a better +example might have been justly expected. It is deeply to be regretted +that there is not more unity of action and opinion among those who "love +the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity," more especially in cases where such +unity of action is only interfered with by dislike to the important and +eminent Christian duty of self-denial.</p> + +<p>I am inclined to apply terms of stronger and more general condemnation +than any I have hitherto used to those amusements which are more +especially termed "public."</p> + +<p>You should carefully examine, with prayer to be guided aright, whether a +voluntary attendance at the theatre or the race-course is not in a +degree exposed to the solemn denunciation uttered by the Saviour against +those who cause others to offend.<a name="FNanchor_96_96" id="FNanchor_96_96"></a><a href="#Footnote_96_96" class="fnanchor">[96]</a> Can that relaxation be a part of +the education to fit us for our eternal home which is regardless of +danger to the spiritual interests of others, and acts upon the spirit of +the haughty remonstrance of Cain—"Am I my brother's keeper?"<a name="FNanchor_97_97" id="FNanchor_97_97"></a><a href="#Footnote_97_97" class="fnanchor">[97]</a> For +all the details of this argument, I refer you to Wilberforce's +"Practical View of Christianity." Many other writers besides have +treated this subject ably and convincingly; but none other has ever been +so satisfactory to my own mind: I think it will be so to yours. I am +aware that much may be said in defence of the expediency of the +amusements to which I refer; and as there is a certainty that both of +them, or others of a similar nature, will meet with <a name="Page_214" id="Page_214"></a>general support +until "the kingdoms of this world become the kingdoms of the Lord and of +his Christ,"<a name="FNanchor_98_98" id="FNanchor_98_98"></a><a href="#Footnote_98_98" class="fnanchor">[98]</a> it is a compensatory satisfaction that they are neither +of them without their advantages to the general welfare of the country; +that good is mixed with their evil, as well as brought out of their +evil. This does not, however, serve as an excuse for those who, having +their mind and judgment enlightened to see the dangers to others and the +temptations to themselves of attending such amusements, should still +disfigure lives, it may be, in other respects, of excellence and +usefulness, by giving their time, their money, and their example to +countenance and support them. Wo to those who venture to lay their +sinful human hands upon the complicated machinery of God's providence, +by countenancing the slightest shade of moral evil, because there may be +some accompanying good! We cannot look forward to a certain result from +any action: the most virtuous one may produce effects entirely different +from those which we had anticipated; and we can then only fearlessly +leave the consequences in the hands of God, when we are sure that we +have acted in strict accordance with His will. Does it become the +servant of God voluntarily to expose herself to hear contempt and +blasphemy attached to the Holy Name and the holy things which she loves; +to see on the stage an awful mockery of prayer itself, on the +race-course the despair of the ruined gambler and the debasement of the +drunkard? The choice of the scenes you frequent now, of the company you +keep now, is of an importance <a name="Page_215" id="Page_215"></a>involved in the very nature of things, +and not dependent alone on the expressed will of God. It is only the +pure in heart who can see God.<a name="FNanchor_99_99" id="FNanchor_99_99"></a><a href="#Footnote_99_99" class="fnanchor">[99]</a> It is only those who have here +acquired a meetness for the inheritance of the saints in light<a name="FNanchor_100_100" id="FNanchor_100_100"></a><a href="#Footnote_100_100" class="fnanchor">[100]</a> who +can enjoy its possession.</p> + +<p>It is almost entirely in this point of view that I have urged upon you +the close consideration of the permanent influences of every present +action. At your age, and with your inexperience, I know that there is an +especial aptness to deceive one's-self by considering the case of those +who, after leading a gay life for many years, have afterwards become the +most zealous and devoted servants of God. That such cases are to be met +with, is to the glory of the free grace of God: but what reason have you +to hope that you should be among this small number? Having once wilfully +chosen the pleasures of this life as your portion, on what promise do +you depend ever again to be awakened to a sense of the awful alternative +of fulfilling your baptismal vows, by renouncing the pomps and vanities +of the world, or becoming a withered branch of the vine into which you +were once grafted—a branch whose end is to be burned?</p> + +<p>Without urging further upon you this hackneyed, though still awful +warning, let me return once more to the peculiar point of view in which +I have, all along, considered the subject; namely, that each present act +and feeling, however momentary may be its indulgence, is an inevitable +preparation for eternity, by becoming a part of our never-dying moral +nature. You must <a name="Page_216" id="Page_216"></a>deeply feel how much this consideration adds to the +improbability of your having any desires whatever to become the servant +of God some years hence, and how much it must increase in future every +difficulty and every unwillingness which you at present experience.</p> + +<p>Let us, however, suppose that God will still be merciful to you at the +last; that, after having devoted to the world during the years of your +youth that love, those energies, and those powers of mind which had been +previously vowed to his holier and happier service, he will still in +future years send you the grace of repentance; that he will effect such +a change in your heart and mind, that the world does not only become +unsatisfactory to you,—which is a very small way towards real +religion,—but that to love and serve God becomes to you the one thing +desirable above all others. Alas! it is even then, in the very hour of +redeeming mercy, of renewing grace, that your severest trials will +begin. Then first will you thoroughly experience how truly it is "an +evil thing and bitter, to forsake the Lord your God."<a name="FNanchor_101_101" id="FNanchor_101_101"></a><a href="#Footnote_101_101" class="fnanchor">[101]</a> Then you will +find that every late effort at self-denial, simplicity of mind and +purpose, abstinence from worldly excitements, &c., is met, not only by +the evil instincts which belong to our nature, but by the superinduced +difficulty of opposing confirmed habits.</p> + +<p>Smoothly and tranquilly flows on the stream of habit, and we are unaware +of its growing strength until we try to erect an obstacle in its course, +and see this obstacle swept away by the long-accumulating power of the +current.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_217" id="Page_217"></a>In truth, all those who have wilfully added the power of evil habits to +the evil tendencies of their fallen nature must expect "to go mourning +all the days of their life." It is only to those who have served the +Lord from their youth that "wisdom's ways are ways of pleasantness, and +all her paths peace." To others, though by the grace of God they may be +finally saved, there is but a dreary prospect until the end come. They +must ever henceforth consult their safety by denying themselves many +pleasant things which the well-regulated mind of the habitually pious +may find not only safe but profitable. At the same time they sorrowfully +discover that they have lost all taste for those entirely simple +pleasures with which the path of God's obedient children is abundantly +strewn. Their path, on the contrary, is rugged, and their flowers are +few: their sun seldom shines; for they themselves have formed clouds out +of the vapours of earth, to intercept its warming and invigorating +radiance: what wonder, then, if some among them should turn it back into +the bright and sunny land of self-indulgence, now looking brighter and +more alluring than ever from its contrast with the surrounding gloom?</p> + +<p>Let not this dangerous risk be yours. While yet young—young in habits, +in energies, in affections, devote all to the service of the best of +masters. "The work of righteousness," even now, through difficulties, +self-denial, and anxieties, will be "peace, and the effect thereof +quietness and assurance for ever."<a name="FNanchor_102_102" id="FNanchor_102_102"></a><a href="#Footnote_102_102" class="fnanchor">[102]</a></p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_INFLUENCE_OF_WOMEN_ON_SOCIETY103" id="THE_INFLUENCE_OF_WOMEN_ON_SOCIETY103"></a><a name="Page_218" id="Page_218"></a>THE INFLUENCE OF WOMEN ON SOCIETY.<a name="FNanchor_103_103" id="FNanchor_103_103"></a><a href="#Footnote_103_103" class="fnanchor">[103]</a></h2> + + +<p>"Whatever may be the customs and laws of a country, women always give +the tone to morals. Whether slaves or free, they reign, because their +empire is that of the affections. This influence, however, is more or +less salutary, according to the degree of esteem in which they are +held:—they make men what they are. It seems as though Nature had made +man's intellect depend upon their dignity, as she has made his happiness +depend upon their virtue. This, then, is the law of eternal +justice,—man cannot degrade woman without himself falling into +degradation: he cannot elevate her without at the same time elevating +himself. Let us cast our eyes over the globe! Let us observe those two +great divisions of the human race, the East and the West. Half the old +world remains in a state of inanity, under the oppression of a rude +civilization: the women there are slaves; the other advances in +equalization and intelligence: the women there are free and honoured.</p> + +<p>"If we wish, then, to know the political and moral <a name="Page_219" id="Page_219"></a>condition of a +state, we must ask what rank women hold in it. Their influence embraces +the whole life. A wife,—a mother,—two magical words, comprising the +sweetest sources of man's felicity. Theirs is the reign of beauty, of +love, of reason. Always a reign! A man takes counsel with his wife; he +obeys his mother; he obeys her long after she has ceased to live, and +the ideas which he has received from her become principles stronger even +than his passions.</p> + +<p>"The reality of the power is not disputed; but it may be objected that +it is confined in its operation to the family circle: as if the +aggregate of families did not constitute the nation! The man carries +with him to the forum the notions which the woman has discussed with him +by the domestic hearth. His strength there realizes what her gentle +insinuations inspired. It is sometimes urged as matter of complaint that +the business of women is confined to the domestic arrangements of the +household: and it is not recollected that from the household of every +citizen issue forth the errors and prejudices which govern the world!</p> + +<p>"If, then, there be an incontestable fact, it is the influence of women: +an influence extended, with various modifications, through the whole of +life. Such being the case, the question arises, by what inconceivable +negligence a power of universal operation has been overlooked by +moralists, who, in their various plans for the amelioration of mankind, +have scarcely deigned to mention this potent agent. Yet evidence, +historical and parallel, proves that such negligence has lost to mankind +the most influential of all agencies. The fact of its existence cannot +be disputed; it is, <a name="Page_220" id="Page_220"></a>therefore, of the greatest importance that its +nature should be rightly understood, and that it be directed to right +objects."<a name="FNanchor_104_104" id="FNanchor_104_104"></a><a href="#Footnote_104_104" class="fnanchor">[104]</a></p> + +<p>It would not be uninteresting to trace the action and reaction by which +women have degraded and been degraded—alternately the source and the +victims of mistaken social principles; but it would be foreign to the +design and compass of this work to do so. The subject, indeed, would +afford matter for a philosophical treatise of deep interest, rather than +for a chapter of a small work. A rapid historical sketch, and a few +deductions which seem to bear upon the main point, are all that can be +here attempted.</p> + +<p>The gospel announced on this, as on every other subject, a grand +comprehensive principle, which it was to be the work of ages (perhaps of +eternity) to develop. The rescue of this degraded half of the human race +was henceforth the ascertained will of the Almighty. But a long series +of years were to elapse before this will worked out its issues. Its +decrees, with the noble doctrines of which it formed a part, lay buried +beneath the ruins of human intellect. But they were only buried, not +destroyed; and rose, like wildflowers on a ruined edifice, to adorn the +irregularity which they could not conceal. The fantastic institutions of +chivalry which it is now the fashion to deride (how unjustly!) were +among the first scions of this plant of heavenly origin. They bore the +impress of heaven, faint and distorted indeed, but not to be mistaken! +Devotion to an ideal good,—self-sacrifice,—subjugation <a name="Page_221" id="Page_221"></a>of selfish and +sensual feelings; wherever these principles are found, disguised, +disfigured though they be, they are not of the earth,—earthly. They, +like the fabled amaranth, are plants which are not indigenous here +below! The seeds must come from above, from the source of all that is +pure, of all that is good! Of these principles the gospel was the remote +source: women were the disseminators. "Shut up in their castellated +towers, they civilized the warriors who despised their weakness, and +rendered less barbarous the passions and prejudices which themselves +shared."<a name="FNanchor_105_105" id="FNanchor_105_105"></a><a href="#Footnote_105_105" class="fnanchor">[105]</a> It was they who directed the savage passions and brute +force of men to an unselfish aim, the defence of the weak, and added to +courage the only virtue then recognised—humanity. "Thus chivalry +prepared the way for law, and civilization had its source in +gallantry."<a name="FNanchor_106_106" id="FNanchor_106_106"></a><a href="#Footnote_106_106" class="fnanchor">[106]</a></p> + +<p>At this epoch, the influence of women was decidedly beneficial; happy +for them and for society if it had continued to be so! If we attempt to +trace the source of this influence, we shall find it in the intellectual +equality of the two sexes; equally ignorant of what we call knowledge, +the respect due by men to virtue and beauty was not checked by any +disdain of real or fancied superiority on their part.</p> + +<p>The intellectual exercises (chiefly imaginative) of the time, so far +from forming a barrier between the two sexes, were a bond of union. The +song of the minstrel was devoted to the praise of beauty, and paid by +her smile. The spirit of the age, as imbodied in <a name="Page_222" id="Page_222"></a>these effusions, is +the best proof of the beneficial influence exercised over that age by +our sex. In them, the name of woman is not associated in the degrading +catalogue of man's pleasures, with his bottle and his horse, but is +coupled with all that is fair and pure in nature,—the fields, the +birds, the flowers; or high in virtue or sentiment,—with honour, glory, +self-sacrifice.</p> + +<p>To the age of chivalry succeeded the revival of letters; and (strange to +say!) this revival was any thing but advantageous to the cause of women. +Men found other paths to glory than the exercise of valour afforded, and +paths into which women were forbidden to follow them. Into these +newly-discovered regions, women were not allowed to penetrate, and men +returned thence with real or affected contempt for their unintellectual +companions, without having attained true wisdom enough to know how much +they would gain by their enlightenment.</p> + +<p>The advance of intelligence in men not being met by a corresponding +advance in women, the latter lost their equilibrium in the social +balance. Honour, glory, were no longer attached to the smile of beauty. +The dethroned sovereigns, from being imperious, became abject, and +sought, by paltry arts, to perpetuate the empire which was no longer +conceded as a right. Influence they still possessed, but an influence +debased in its character, and changed in its mode of operation. Instead +of being the objects of devotion of heart,—fantastic, indeed, but +high-minded,—they became the mere playthings of the imagination, or +worse, the mere objects of sensual passion. Respect is the only sure +foundation of influence. Women had ceased to be re<a name="Page_223" id="Page_223"></a>spected: they +therefore ceased to be beneficially influential. That they retained +another and a worse kind of influence, may be inferred from the spirit, +as imbodied in the literature, of the period. Fiction no longer sought +its heroes among the lofty in mind and pure in morals—its heroines in +spotless virgins and faithful wives. The reckless voluptuary, the +faithless and successful adulteress,—these were the noble beings whose +deeds filled the pages which formed the delight of the wise and the +fair. The ultimate issues of these grievous errors were most strikingly +developed in the respective courts of Louis XIV. and Charles II., where +they reached their climax. The vicious influence of which we have spoken +was then at its height, and the degradation of women had brought on its +inevitable consequence, the degradation of men. With some few +exceptions, (such exceptions, indeed, prove rules!) we trace this evil +influence in the contempt of virtue, public and private; in the base +passions, the narrow and selfish views peculiar to degraded women, and +reflected on the equally degraded men whom such women could have power +to charm.<a name="FNanchor_107_107" id="FNanchor_107_107"></a><a href="#Footnote_107_107" class="fnanchor">[107]</a></p> + +<p>A change of opinions and of social arrangements has long been operating, +which ought entirely to have abrogated these evils. That they have not +done so is owing to a grand mistake. Women having recovered their +rights, moral and intellectual, have resumed their importance in the eye +of reason: they have long been the ornaments of society, which from them +derives its tone, and it has become too much the main object of <a name="Page_224" id="Page_224"></a>their +education to cultivate the accomplishments which may make them such. A +twofold injury has arisen from this mistaken aim; it has blinded women +as to the true nature and end of their existence, and has excited a +spirit of worldly ambition opposed to the devoted unselfishness +necessary for its accomplishment. This is the error of the +unthinking—the reflecting have fallen into another, but not less +serious one. The coarse, but expressive satire of Luther, "That the +human mind is like an intoxicated man on horseback,—if he is set up on +one side, he falls off on the other," was never more fully justified +than on this subject. Because it is perceived that women have a dignity +and value greater than society or themselves have discovered,—because +their talents and virtues place them on a footing of equality with men, +it is maintained that their present sphere of action is too contracted a +one, and that they ought to share in the public functions of the other +sex. Equality, mental and <i>physical</i>, is proclaimed! This is matter too +ludicrous to be treated anywhere but in a professed satire; in sober +earnest, it may be asked, upon what grounds so extraordinary a doctrine +is built up! Were women allowed to act out these principles, it would +soon appear that one great range of duty had been left unprovided for in +the schemes of Providence; such an omission would be without parallel. +Two principal points only can here be brought forward, which oppose this +plan at the very outset; they are—</p> + +<p>1st. Placing the two sexes in the position of rivals, instead of +coadjutors, entailing the diminution of female influence.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_225" id="Page_225"></a>2d. Leaving the important duties of woman only in the hands of that part +of the sex least able to perform them efficiently.</p> + +<p>The principle of divided labour seems to be a maxim of the Divine +government, as regards the creature. It is only by a concentration of +powers to one point, that so feeble a being as man can achieve great +results. Why should we wish to set aside this salutary law, and disturb +the beautiful simplicity of arrangement which has given to man the +power, and to woman the influence, to second the plans of Almighty +goodness? They are formed to be co-operators, not rivals, in this great +work; and rivals they would undoubtedly become, if the same career of +public ambition and the same rewards of success were open to both. +Woman, at present, is the regulating power of the great social machine, +retaining, through the very exclusion complained of, the power to judge +of questions by the abstract rules of right and wrong—a power seldom +possessed by those whose spirits are chafed by opposition and heated by +personal contest.</p> + +<p>The second resulting evil is a grave one, though, in treating of it, +also, it is difficult to steer clear of ludicrous associations. The +political career being open to women, it is natural to suppose that all +the most gifted of the sex would press forward to confer upon their +country the benefit of their services, and to reap for themselves the +distinction which such services would obtain; the duties hitherto +considered peculiar to the sex would sink to a still lower position in +public estimation than they now hold, and would be abandoned to those +least able conscientiously to fulfil them. The <a name="Page_226" id="Page_226"></a>combination of +legislative and maternal duties would indeed be a difficult task, and, +of course, the least ostentatious would be sacrificed.</p> + +<p>Yet women have a mission! ay, even a political mission of immense +importance! which they will best fulfil by moving in the sphere assigned +them by Providence: not comet-like, wandering in irregular orbits, +dazzling indeed by their brilliancy, but terrifying by their eccentric +movements and doubtful utility. That the sphere in which they are +required to move is no mean one, and that its apparent contraction +arises only from a defect of intellectual vision, it is the object of +the succeeding chapters to prove.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_SPHERE_OF_WOMANS_INFLUENCE" id="THE_SPHERE_OF_WOMANS_INFLUENCE"></a><a name="Page_227" id="Page_227"></a>THE SPHERE OF WOMAN'S INFLUENCE.</h2> + + +<p>"The fact of this influence being proved, it is of the utmost importance +that it be impressed upon the mind of women, and that they be +enlightened as to its true nature and extent."</p> + +<p>The task is as difficult as it is important, for it demands some +exercise of sober judgment to view it with requisite impartiality; it +requires, too, some courage to encounter the charge of inconsistency +which a faithful discharge of it entails. For it <i>is</i> an apparent +inconsistency to recommend at the same time expansion of views and +contraction of operation; to awaken the sense of power, and to require +that the exercise of it be limited; to apply at once the spur and the +rein. That intellect is to be invigorated only to enlighten +conscience—that conscience is to be enlightened only to act on +details—that accomplishments and graces are to be cultivated only, or +chiefly, to adorn obscurity;—a list of somewhat paradoxical +propositions indeed, and hard to be received; yet, upon their favourable +reception depends, in my opinion, the usefulness of our influence, the +destinies of our race; and it is my intention to direct all my +observations to this point.</p> + +<p>It is astonishing and humiliating to perceive how frequently human +wisdom, especially argumentative wisdom, is at fault as to results, +while accident, preju<a name="Page_228" id="Page_228"></a>dices, or common sense seem to light upon truths +which reason feels after without finding. It appears as though <i>à +priori</i> reasoning, human nature being the subject, is like a skilful +piece of mechanism, carefully and scientifically put together, but which +some perverse and occult trifle will not permit to act. This is +eminently true of many questions regarding education, and precisely the +state of the argument concerning the position and duties of women. The +facts of moral and intellectual equality being established, it seems +somewhat irrational to condemn women to obscurity and detail for their +field of exertion, while men usurp the extended one of public +usefulness. And a good case may be made out on this very point. Yet the +conclusions are false and pernicious, and the prejudices which we now +smile at as obsolete are truths of nature's own imparting, only wanting +the agency of comprehensive intelligence to make them valuable, by +adapting them to the present state of society. For, as one atom of +falsehood in first principles nullifies a whole theory, so one +principle, fundamentally true, suffices to obviate many minor errors. +This fundamentally true principle, I am prepared to show, exists in the +established opinions concerning the true sphere of women, and that, +whether originally dictated by reason, or derived from a sort of +intuition, they are right, and for this cause: the one quality on which +woman's value and influence depend is the renunciation of self; and the +old prejudices respecting her inculcated self-renunciation. Educated in +obscurity, trained to consider the fulfilment of domestic duties as the +aim and end of her existence, there was little to feed the appetite for +fame, <a name="Page_229" id="Page_229"></a>or the indulgence of self-idolatry. Now, here the principle +fundamentally bears upon the very qualities most desirable to be +cultivated, and those most desirable to be avoided. A return to the +practical part of the system is by no means to be recommended, for, with +increasing intellectual advantages, it is not to be supposed that the +perfection of the conjugal character is to consult a husband's palate +and submit to his ill-humour—or of the maternal, to administer in due +alternation the sponge and the rod. All that is contended for is, that +the fundamental principle is right—"that women were to live for +others;" and, therefore, all that we have to do is to carry out this +fundamentally right principle into wider application. It may easily be +done, if the cultivation of intellectual powers be carried on with the +same views and motives as were formerly the knowledge of domestic +duties, for the benefit of immediate relations, and for the fulfilment +of appointed duties. If society at large be benefited by such +cultivation, so much the better; but it ought to be no part of the +training of women to consider, with any personal views, what effect they +shall produce in or on society at large. The greatest benefit which they +can confer upon society is to be what they ought to be in all their +domestic relations; that is, to be what they ought to be, in all the +comprehensiveness of the term, as adapted to the present state of +society. Let no woman fancy that she can, by any exertion or services, +compensate for the neglect of her own peculiar duties as such. It is by +no means my intention to assert that women should be passive and +indifferent spectators of the great political questions which affect +<a name="Page_230" id="Page_230"></a>the well-being of community; neither can I repeat the old adage, that +"women have nothing to do with politics." They have, and ought to have +much to do with politics. But in what way? It has been maintained that +their public participation in them would be fatal to the best interests +of society. How, then, are women to interfere in politics? As moral +agents; as representatives of the moral principle; as champions of the +right in preference to the expedient; by their endeavours to instil into +their relatives of the other sex the uncompromising sense of duty and +self-devotion, which ought to be <i>their</i> ruling principles! The immense +influence which women possess will be most beneficial, if allowed to +flow in its natural channels, viz. domestic ones,—because it is of the +utmost importance to the existence of influence, that purity of motive +be unquestioned. It is by no means affirmed that women's political +feelings are always guided by the abstract principles of right and +wrong; but they are surely more likely to be so, if they themselves are +restrained from the public expression of them. Participation in scenes +of popular emotion has a natural tendency to warp conscience and +overcome charity. Now, conscience and charity (or love) are the very +essence of woman's beneficial influence; therefore every thing tending +to blunt the one and sour the other is sedulously to be avoided by her. +It is of the utmost importance to men to feel, in consulting a wife, a +mother, or a sister, that they are appealing <i>from</i> their passions and +prejudices, and not <i>to</i> them, as imbodied in a second self: nothing +tends to give opinions such weight as the certainty that the utterer of +them is free <a name="Page_231" id="Page_231"></a>from all petty or personal motives. The beneficial +influence of woman is nullified if once her motives, or her personal +character, come to be the subject of attack; and this fact alone ought +to induce her patiently to acquiesce in the plan of seclusion from +public affairs.</p> + +<p>It supposes, indeed, some magnanimity in the possessors of great powers +and widely extended influence, to be willing to exercise them with +silent, unostentatious vigilance. There must be a deeper principle than +usually lies at the root of female education, to induce women to +acquiesce in the plan, which, assigning to them the responsibility, has +denied them the <i>éclat</i> of being reformers of society. Yet it is, +probably, exactly in proportion to their reception of this truth, and +their adoption of it into their hearts, that they will fulfil their own +high and lofty mission; precisely because the manifestation of such a +spirit is the one thing needful for the regeneration of society. It is +from her being the depository and disseminator of such a spirit, that +woman's influence is principally derived. It appears to be for this end +that Providence has so lavishly endowed her with moral qualities, and, +above all, with that of love,—the antagonist spirit of selfish +worldliness, that spirit which, as it is vanquished or victorious, bears +with it the moral destinies of the world! Now, it is proverbially as +well as scripturally true, that love "seeketh not its own" interest, but +the good of others, and finds its highest honour, its highest happiness, +in so doing. This is precisely the spirit which can never be too much +cultivated by women, because it is the spirit by which their highest +triumphs are to be achieved: it is they who are called upon to show +<a name="Page_232" id="Page_232"></a>forth its beauty, and to prove its power; every thing in their +education should tend to develop self-devotion and self-renunciation. +How far existing systems contribute to this object, it must be our next +step to inquire.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="EDUCATION_OF_WOMEN" id="EDUCATION_OF_WOMEN"></a><a name="Page_233" id="Page_233"></a>EDUCATION OF WOMEN.</h2> + + +<p>"The education of women is more important than that of men, since that +of men is always their work."<a name="FNanchor_108_108" id="FNanchor_108_108"></a><a href="#Footnote_108_108" class="fnanchor">[108]</a></p> + +<p>We are now to consider how far the present systems of female education +tend to the great end here mentioned—the truth of which, reflection and +experience combine to prove. Great is the boast of the progress of +education; great would be the indignation excited by a doubt as to the +fact of this progress. "A simple question will express this doubt more +forcibly, and place this subject in a stronger light: 'Are women +qualified to educate men?' If they are not, no available progress has +been made. In the very heart of civilized Europe, are women what they +ought to be? and does not their education prove how little we know the +consequences of neglecting it?"<a name="FNanchor_109_109" id="FNanchor_109_109"></a><a href="#Footnote_109_109" class="fnanchor">[109]</a> Is it possible to believe, that +upon their training depends the happiness of families—the well-being of +nations? The selfishness, political and social; the forgetfulness of +patriotism; the unregulated tempers and low ambition of the one sex, +testify but too clearly how little has been done by the vaunted +education of the other. For education is useless, or at least neutral, +if it do not bear upon duty, as well as upon cultivation, if it do not +expand the soul, while it enlightens the intellect.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_234" id="Page_234"></a>How far expansion of soul, or enlightenment of intellect, is to be +expected from the present systems of female education, we have seen in +effects,—let us now go back to causes.</p> + +<p>It is unnecessary to start from the prejudice of ignorance; it is now +universally acknowledged that women have a right to education, and that +they must be educated. We smile with condescending pity at the blinded +state of our respected grandmothers, and thank God that we are not as +they, with a thanksgiving as uncalled for as that of the proud Pharisee. +On abstract ground, their education was better than ours; it was a +preparation for their future duties. It does not affect the question, +that their notion of these duties was entirely confined to the physical +comfort of husbands and children. The defect of the scheme, as has been +argued, was not in rationality, but in comprehensiveness,—a +fundamentally right principle being the basis, it is easy to extend the +application of it indefinitely.</p> + +<p>Indiscriminate blame, however, is as invidious as it is useless; if the +fault-finder be not also the fault-mender, the exercise of his powers +is, at best, but a negative benefit. Let us, therefore, enter into a +calm examination of the two principal ramifications, into which +education has insensibly divided itself, as far as the young women of +our own country are concerned; bearing in mind that women can only +exercise their true influence, inasmuch as they are free from +worldly-mindedness and egotism, and that, therefore, no system of +education can be good which does not tend to subdue the selfish and +bring out the unselfish principle. The systems alluded to are these:—</p> + +<p><a name="Page_235" id="Page_235"></a>1st. The education of accomplishments for shining in society.</p> + +<p>2d. Intellectual education, or that of the mental powers.</p> + +<p>What are the objects of either? To prepare the young for life; its +subsequent trials; its weighty duties; its inevitable termination? We +will examine the principles on which both these educations are made to +work, and see whether, or how far, they have any relation to those most +called for, by the future and presumed duties of the educated. The +worldly and the intellectual, alternately objects of contempt to each +other, are equally objects of pity to the wise, as mistaken in their +end, and deceived as to the means of attaining that end.</p> + +<p>The education of accomplishments, (especially as conducted in this +country,) would be a risible, if it were not a painful subject of +contemplation. Intense labour; immense sums of money; hours, nay, days +of valuable time! What a list of sacrifices! Now for results. Of the +many who thus sacrifice time, health, and property, how few attain even +a moderate proficiency. The love of beauty, the power of self-amusement +(if obtained) might, in some degree, justify these sacrifices; they are +valuable ends in themselves, still more valuable from contingent +advantages. There is a deep influence hidden under these beautiful +arts,—an influence far deeper than the world in its thoughtlessness, or +the worldly student in his vanity, ever can know,—an influence +refining, consoling, elevating: they afford a channel into which the +lofty aspirings, the unsatisfied yearnings of the pure and elevated in +soul may pour themselves. <a name="Page_236" id="Page_236"></a>The perception of the beautiful is, next to +the love of our fellow-creatures, the most purely unselfish of all our +natural emotions, and is, therefore, a most powerful engine in the hands +of those who regard selfishness as the giant passion, whose castle must +be stormed before any other conquest can be begun, and in vanquishing +whom all lawful and innocent weapons should, by turns, be employed.</p> + +<p>Let us consider how we employ this mighty ally of virtue and loftiness +of soul. Into the cultivation of the arts, disguised under the hackneyed +name of accomplishments, does one particle of intellectuality creep? +Would not many of their ablest professors and most diligent +practitioners stare, with unfeigned wonder, at the supposition, that the +five hours per diem devoted to the piano and the easel had any other +object than to accomplish the fingers? The idea of their influencing the +head would be ridiculous! of their improving the heart, preposterous! +Yet if both head and heart do not combine in these pursuits, how can the +cultivators justify to themselves the devotion of time and labour to +their acquisition: time and labour, in many cases, abstracted from the +performance of present, or preparation for future duties,—this is +especially applicable to the middle classes of society.</p> + +<p>Let us now turn to the issues of this education! The accomplishments +acquired at such cost must be displayed. To whom? the possessor has no +delight in them,—her immediate relatives, perhaps, no taste for +them;—to strangers, therefore. It is not necessary to make many +strictures on this subject; the rage for universal exhibition has been +written and talked down: <a name="Page_237" id="Page_237"></a>in fact, there are great hopes for the world +in this particular; it has descended so low in the scale of society, +that we trust it will soon be exploded altogether. The fashion, +therefore, need not be here treated of, but the spirit which it has +engendered, and which will survive its parent. This, as influencing the +female character—especially the maternal—bears greatly upon the point +in view;—to live for the applause of the foolish <i>many</i>, instead of the +approbation of the well-judging <i>few</i>; to rule duty, conscience, morals, +by a low worldly standard; to view worldly admiration as the aim, and +worldly aggrandizement as the end of life; these are a few,—a very few, +indications of this spirit, and these have infected every rank, from the +highest to the middle and lower classes of society. To every thing +gentle or refined, to every thing lofty or dignified in the female +character, this spirit is utterly opposed. Refinement would teach to +shun the vulgar applause which almost insults its object,—dignity would +shrink from displaying before heartless crowds those emotions of the +soul, without which all art is vulgar,—and how can women, who have +neither refinement nor dignity, retail that influence which, rightly +used, is to be so great an engine in the regeneration of society? How +can the vain and selfish exhibitor of paltry acquirements ever mature +into the mother of the Gracchi, the tutelary guardian of the rising +virtues of the commonwealth? It is in vain to hope it.</p> + +<p>Before making any strictures on intellectual education, it is necessary +to enter into a short explanation; for it is not denied that +rightly-cultivated mental power is a great good. The kind of cultivation +which is here <a name="Page_238" id="Page_238"></a>decried is open to the same objections as the last +mentioned. It is the cultivation of power, with a view, not to the +happiness of the individual, but to her fame; not to her usefulness, but +to her brilliancy. We have only to look round society, and see that +intellect has its vanity as well as beauty or accomplishments, and that +its effects are more mischievous. It has a hardening, deadening kind of +influence; the more so, that the so-called mental cultivation frequently +consists only of a pedantic heaping up of information, valuable indeed +in itself, but wanting the principle of combination to make it useful. +Stones and bricks are valuable things, very valuable; but they are not +beautiful or useful till the hand of the architect has given them a +form, and the cement of the bricklayer has knit them together. It is a +fine expression of Miss Edgeworth, in speaking of the mind of one of her +heroines, "that the stream of literature had passed over it was apparent +only from its fertility." Intellectual cultivation was too long +considered as education, properly so called. The mischief which this +error has produced, is exactly in proportion to the increase of power +thereby communicated to wrong principles.</p> + +<p>What, then, is the true object of female education? The best answer to +this question is, a statement of future duties; for it must never be +forgotten, that if education be not a training for future duties, it is +nothing. The ordinary lot of woman is to marry. Has any thing in these +educations prepared her to make a wise choice in marriage? To be a +mother! Have the duties of maternity,—the nature of moral +influence,—been pointed out to her? Has she ever been enlightened as +<a name="Page_239" id="Page_239"></a>to the consequent unspeakable importance of personal character as the +source of influence? In a word, have any means, direct or indirect, +prepared her for her duties? No! but she is a linguist, a pianist, +graceful, admired. What is that to the purpose? The grand evil of such +an education is the mistaking means for ends; a common error, and the +source of half the moral confusion existing in the world. It is the +substitution of the part for a whole. The time when young women enter +upon life, is the one point to which all plans of education tend, and at +which they all terminate: and to prepare them for that point is the +object of their training. Is it not cruel to lay up for them a store of +future wretchedness, by an education which has no period in view but +one; a very short one, and the most unimportant and irresponsible of the +whole of life? Who that had the power of choice would choose to buy the +admiration of the world for a few short years with the happiness of a +whole life? the temporary power to dazzle and to charm, with the growing +sense of duties undertaken only to be neglected, and responsibilities +the existence of which is discovered perhaps simultaneously with that of +an utter inability to meet them? Even if the mischief stopped here, it +would be sufficiently great; but the craving appetite for applause once +roused, is not so easily lulled again. The moral energies, pampered by +unwholesome nourishment,—like the body when disordered by luxurious +dainties,—refuse to perform their healthy functions, and thus is +occasioned a perpetual strife and warfare of internal principles; the +selfish principle still seeking the accustomed gratification, the +<a name="Page_240" id="Page_240"></a>conjugal and maternal prompting to the performance of duty. But duty is +a cold word; and people, in order to find pleasure in duty, must have +been trained to consider their duties as pleasures. This is a truth at +which no one arrives by inspiration! And in this moral struggle, which, +like all other struggles, produces lassitude and distaste of all things, +the happiness of the individual is lost, her usefulness destroyed, her +influence most pernicious. For nothing has so injurious an effect on +temper and manners, and consequently on moral influence, as the want of +that internal quiet which can only arise from the accordance of duty +with inclination. Another most pernicious effect is, the deadening +within the heart of the feeling of love, which is the root of all +influence; for it is an extraordinary fact, that vanity acts as a sort +of refrigerator on all men—on the possessor of it, and on the observer.</p> + +<p>Now, if conscientiousness and unselfishness be the two main supports of +women's beneficial influence, how can any education be good which has +not the cultivation of these qualities for its first and principal +object? The grand objects, then, in the education of women, ought to be, +the conscience, the heart, and the affections; the development of those +moral qualities which Providence has so liberally bestowed upon them, +doubtless with a wise and beneficent purpose. Originators of +conscientiousness, how can they implant what they have never cultivated, +nor brought to maturity in themselves? Sovereigns of the affections, how +can they direct the kingdom whose laws they have not studied, the +springs of whose government are concealed from them? The conscience and +the affec<a name="Page_241" id="Page_241"></a>tions being primarily enlightened, all other cultivation, as +secondary, is most valuable. Intelligence, accomplishments, even +external elegance, become objects of importance, as assisting the +influence which women have, and exert too often for unworthy ends, but +which in this case could not fail to be beneficial. Let the light of +intellect and the charm of accomplishments be the willing handmaids of +cultivated and enlightened conscience. Cultivate the intellect with +reference to the conscience, that views of duty may be comprehensive, as +well as just; cultivate the imagination still with reference to the +conscience, that those inward aspirations which all indulge, more or +less, may be turned from the gauds of an idle and vain imagination, and +shed over daily life and daily duty the halo of a poetic influence; +cultivate the manners, that the qualities of heart and head may have an +additional auxiliary in obtaining that influence by which a mighty +regeneration is to be worked. The issues of such an education will +justify the claims made for women in these pages; then the spirit of +vanity will yield to the spirit of self-devotion: that spirit +confessedly natural to Women, and only perverted by wrong education. +Content with the sphere of usefulness assigned her by Nature and +Nature's God, viewing that sphere with the piercing eye of intellect, +and gilding it with the beautiful colours of the imagination, she will +cease the vain and almost impious attempt to wander from it. She will +see and acknowledge the beauty, the harmony of the arrangement which has +made her physical inferiority (the only inferiority which we +acknowledge) the very root from which spring her virtues and their +attendant influences. <a name="Page_242" id="Page_242"></a>Removed from the actual collision of political +contests, and screened from the passions which such engender, she brings +party questions to the test of the unalterable principles of reason and +religion; she is, so to speak, the guardian angel of man's political +integrity, liable at the best to be warped by passion or prejudice, and +excited by the rude clashing of opinions and interests. This is the true +secret of woman's political influence, the true object of her political +enlightenment. Governments will never be perfect till all distinction +between private and public virtue, private and public honour, be done +away! Who so fit an agent for the operation of this change as +enlightened, unselfish woman? Who so fit, in her twofold capacity of +companion and early instructor, to teach men to prefer honour to gain, +duty to ease, public to private interests, and God's work to man's +inventions? And shall it be said that women have no political existence, +no political influence, when the very germs of political regeneration +may spring from them alone, when the fate of nations yet unborn may +depend upon the use which they make of the mighty influences committed +to their care? The blindness which sees not how these influences would +be lessened by taking her out of the sphere assigned by Providence, if +voluntary, is wicked—if real, is pitiable. As well might we desire the +earth's beautiful satellite to give place to a second sun, thereby +producing the intolerable and glaring continuity of perpetual day. Those +who would be the agents of Providence must observe the workings of +Providence, and be content to work also in that way, and by those means, +which Almighty wisdom appoints. There is infinite littleness in +despising small things. <a name="Page_243" id="Page_243"></a>It seems paradoxical to say that there are no +small things; our littleness and our aspiration make things appear +small. There are, morally speaking, no small duties. Nothing that +influences human virtue and happiness can be really trifling,—and what +more influences them than the despised, because limited, duties assigned +to woman? It is true, her reward (her task being done) is not of this +world, nor will she wish it to be—enough for her to be one of the most +active and efficient agents in her heavenly Father's work of man's +regeneration,—enough for her that generations yet unborn shall rise up +and call her blessed.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LOVE_MARRIAGE" id="LOVE_MARRIAGE"></a><a name="Page_244" id="Page_244"></a>LOVE—MARRIAGE.</h2> + + +<p>The conventual and monastic origin of all systems of education has had a +very injurious influence, on that of women especially, because the +conventual spirit has been longer retained in it.</p> + +<p>If no education be good which does not bear upon the future duties of +the educated, it follows that the systematic exclusion of any one +subject connected with, or bearing upon, future duties, must be an evil. +The wisdom of employing those who had renounced the world to form the +minds of those who were to mix in it, to be exposed in all its +allurements, to share in all its duties, was doubtful indeed; and the +danger was enhanced by the fact, that the majority of recluses were any +thing but indifferent to the world which they had renounced. The convent +was too often the refuge of disappointed worldliness, the grave of +blasted hopes, or the prison of involuntary victims; a withering +atmosphere this in which to place warm young hearts, and expect them to +expand and flourish. The evil effects would be varied according to the +different characters submitted to its influence. The sensitive entered +upon life oppressed with fears and terrors; with a conscience morbid, +not enlightened; bewildered by the impossibility of reconciling +principles and duties. The ardent and sanguine, longing to escape from +restraint, pictured <a name="Page_245" id="Page_245"></a>to themselves, in these unknown and untried +regions, delights infinite and unvaried; and, seeing the incompatibility +of inculcated principles and worldly pleasures, discarded principle +altogether. It is needless to pursue this subject further, because a +universal assent will (in this country, at least,) await the remarks +here made; their applicability to what follows may not at first be so +apparent. The conventual spirit has survived conventual +institutions,—in the department of female education especially.</p> + +<p>In the first place, the instructors of female youth are considered +respectable and trustworthy only in proportion as they cease to be +young, or at least in proportion as they appear to forget that they ever +were so. Any touch of sympathy for the follies of childhood, or the +indiscretions of youth, would blast the prospects of a candidate for +that honourable office, and, in the opinion of many, render her unfit +for its fulfilment. The unfitness is attached to the opposite +disposition; for the very fact of its existence is as effectual an +obstacle to her being a good trainer of youth, as if she had taken a vow +never to see the world but through an iron grating. Experience can never +benefit youth, except when combined with indulgence. The instructor who, +from the heights of past temptations and subdued passion, looks down +with cool watchfulness on the struggles of his youthful pupil, will see +him lie floundering in the mire, or perishing in the deep water. He must +retrace his own steps, take him by the hand, and sustain him, till he is +passed the dangerous and slippery paths of youth. He must become as a +little child to the young and frail being committed to his care, and +<a name="Page_246" id="Page_246"></a>whose welfare and safety depend (in great measure) upon him. A cold and +unloving admiration never will produce imitation: it is like the +hopeless love of poor Helena:—</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span>'Twere all as one as I should love a bright particular star!<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>Here, then, the conventual spirit has been in injurious operation;—no +less so on other points.</p> + +<p>This conventual prejudice has banished from our school-rooms the name of +love, and presented to their youthful inmates fragments instead of +books, cramped and puny publications instead of the works of +master-spirits, lest the mind should be contaminated by any allusion to +that passion contained in them. The wisdom of such a proceeding is much +upon a par with that which devoted the feet to stocks and the shoulders +to backboards, in order to make them elegant, and denied them heaven's +air and active exercise through care for their health. The result, in +the one case as in the other, is disease and distortion. Nature will +assert her rights over the beings she has made; and she avenges, by the +production of deformity, all attempts to force or shackle her +operations. The golden globe could not check the expansive force of +water; equally useless is it to attempt any check on the expansive force +of mind,—it will ooze out! We ought long ago to have been convinced +that the only power allowed to us is the power of direction. If one-half +the amount of effort expanded to useless endeavours to cramp and check, +had been turned towards this channel, how different would be the +results! It is true that it is easier to check than to guide,—to fetter +than to re<a name="Page_247" id="Page_247"></a>strain; and that to attempt to remove evil by the +first-occurring remedy is a natural impulse. But a pause should by made, +lest in applying the remedy a worse evil be not engendered. Distorted +spines and "pale consumptions," the result of the one mistake, are +trifling evils, when compared with the moral evils resulting from the +other. For if, as is affirmed, no education can be good which does not +bear upon future duties, how can that be wise which keeps love and its +temptations, maternity and its responsibilities, out of view? Who would +believe that this love, so denounced, so guarded against, so carefully +banished from the minds of young women, is the one principle on which +their future happiness may be founded or wrecked? It is sure to seek +them, (most of them, at least,) like death in the fable, to find them +unprepared,—too often to leave them wretched.</p> + +<p>Meanwhile, these exaggerated precautions in the education of one sex +have been met by equally fatal negligence in the education of the other; +and while to girls have been denied the very thoughts of love,—even in +its noblest and purest form,—the most effeminate and corrupt +productions of the heathen writers have been unhesitatingly laid open to +boys; so that the two sexes, on whose respective notions of the passion +depends the ennobling or the degrading of their race, meet on these +terms:—the men know nothing of love but what they have imbibed from an +impure and polluted source; the women, nothing at all, or nothing but +what they have clandestinely gathered from sources almost equally +corrupt. The deterioration of any feeling must follow from such +injudicious <a name="Page_248" id="Page_248"></a>training, more especially a feeling so susceptible as love +of assuming such differing aspects.</p> + +<p>Let no sober-minded person be startled at the deductions hence drawn, +that it is foolish to banish all thoughts of love from the minds of the +young. Since it is certain that girls will think, though they may not +read or speak, of love; and that no early care can preserve them from +being exposed, at a later period, to its temptations, might it not be +well to use here the directing, not the repressing power? Since women +will love, might it not be as well to teach them to love wisely? Where +is the wisdom of letting the combatant go unarmed into the field, in +order to spare him the prospect of a combat? Are not women made to love, +and to be loved: and does not their future destiny too often depend upon +this passion? And yet the conventual prejudice which banishes its name +subsists still.</p> + +<p>"Mothers forget, in presence of their children, all the dangers with +which this prejudice has surrounded themselves; the illusions which +arise from that ignorance, and the weakness which springs from those +illusions. To open the minds of the young to the nature of true love, is +to arm them against the frivolous passions which usurp its name, for in +exalting the faculties of the soul, we annihilate, in a great degree, +the delusions of the senses."<a name="FNanchor_110_110" id="FNanchor_110_110"></a><a href="#Footnote_110_110" class="fnanchor">[110]</a></p> + +<p>Examine the first choice of a young girl. Of all the qualities which +please her in a lover, there is, perhaps, not one which is valuable in a +husband. Is not this <a name="Page_249" id="Page_249"></a>the most complete condemnation of all our systems +of education? From the fear of too much agitating the heart, we hide +from women all that is worthy of love, all the depth and dignity of that +passion when felt for a worthy object;—their eye is captivated, the +exterior pleases, the heart and mind are not known, and, after six +months union, they are surprised to find the beau ideal metamorphosed +into a fool or a coxcomb. This is the issue of what are ordinarily +called love-matches, because they are considered as such. "Cupid is +indeed often blamed for deeds in which he has no share." In the opinion +of the wise, the mischief is occasioned by the action of vivid +imaginations upon minds unprepared by previous reflection on the +subject; that is, by the entire banishment of all thoughts of love from +education. We should endeavour, then, to engrave on the soul a model of +virtue and excellence, and teach young women to regulate their +affections by an approximation to this model; the result would not be an +increased facility in giving the affections, but a greater difficulty in +so doing; for women, whose blindness and ignorance now make them the +victims of fancied perfections, would be able to make a clear-sighted +appreciation of all that is excellent, and have an invincible repugnance +to an union not founded upon that basis. Love, in the common acceptation +of the term, is a folly,—love, in its purity, its loftiness, its +unselfishness, is not only a consequence, but a proof of our moral +excellence,—the sensibility to moral beauty, the forgetfulness of self +in the admiration engendered by it, all prove its claim to be a high +moral influence; it is the <a name="Page_250" id="Page_250"></a>triumph of the unselfish over the selfish +part of our nature.<a name="FNanchor_111_111" id="FNanchor_111_111"></a><a href="#Footnote_111_111" class="fnanchor">[111]</a></p> + +<p>What is meant by educating young women to love wisely is simply this, +that they be taught to distinguish true love from the false spirit which +usurps its name and garb; that they be taught to abstract from it the +worldliness, vanity, and folly, with which it has been mixed up. They +should be taught that it is not to be the amusement of an idle hour; the +indulgence of a capricious and greedy vanity; the ladder, by the +assistance of which they may climb a few steps higher in the grades of +society; in short, that except it owe its origin to the noble qualities +of heart and mind, it is nothing but a contemptible weakness, to be +pitied perhaps, but not to be indulged or admired.</p> + +<p>When the might influence of this passion is considered, the important +relations and weighty responsibilities to which it gives rise, we have +reason to be astonished at the levity with which the subject is treated +by the world at large, and the unconsciousness and indifference with +which those responsibilities are assumed. It is like the madman who +flings about firebrands and calls it sport. The remedy for this evil +must begin with the sex who have in their hands that powerful influence, +the liberty of rejection. Let them not complain that liberty of choice +is not theirs; it would only increase their responsibilities without +adding to their happiness or to their usefulness. The liberty which they +do possess is amply sufficient to <a name="Page_251" id="Page_251"></a>insure for them the power of being +benefactors of mankind. As soon as the noble and elevated of our sex +shall refuse to unite on any but moral and intellectual grounds with the +other, so soon will a mighty regeneration begin to be effected: and this +end will, perhaps, be better served by the simple liberty of rejection +than by liberty of choice. Rejection is never inflicted without pain; it +is never received without humiliation, however unfounded, (for simply to +want the power of pleasing can be no disgrace;) but in the existence of +this conventional feeling we find the source of a deep influence. If +women would, as by one common league and covenant, agree to use this +powerful engine in defence of morals, what a change might they not +effect in the tone of society! Is it not a subject that ought to crimson +every woman's cheek with shame, that the want of moral qualifications is +generally the very last cause of rejection? If the worldly find the +wealth, and the intellectual the intelligence, which they seek in a +companion, there are few who will not shut their eyes in wilful and +convenient blindness to the want of such qualifications. It is a fatal +error which has bound up the cause of affection so intimately with +worldly considerations; and it is a growing evil. The increasing demands +of luxury in a highly civilized community operate most injuriously on +the cause of disinterested affections, and particularly so in the case +of women, who are generally precluded from maintaining or advancing +their place in society by any other schemes than matrimonial ones. I +might say something here on the cruelty of that conventional prejudice +which shackles the independence of women, by attaching the <a name="Page_252" id="Page_252"></a>loss of +caste to almost all, nay, all, of the very few sources of pecuniary +emolument open to them. It requires great strength of principle to +disregard this prejudice; and while urged by duty to inveigh against +mercenary unions, I feel some compunction at the thoughts of the +numerous class who are in a manner forced by this prejudice into forming +them. But there are too many who have no such excuse, and to them the +remaining observations are addressed. The sacred nature of the conjugal +relation is entirely merged in the worldly aspect of it. That union +sacred, indissoluble, fraught with all that earth has to bestow of +happiness or misery, is entered upon much of the plan and principle of a +partnership account in mercantile affairs—each bringing his or her +quantum of worldly possessions—and often with even less inquiry as to +moral qualities than persons so situated would make; God's ordinances +are not to be so mocked, and such violations of his laws are severely +visited upon offenders against them. It would be laughable, if it were +not too melancholy, to see beings bound by the holiest ties, who ought +to be the sharers in the most sacred duties—united, perhaps, but in one +aim, and <i>that</i> to secure from a world which cares not for them, a few +atoms more of external observance and attention: to this noble aim +sacrificing their own ease and comfort, and the future prospects of +those dependent on them. If half the sacrifice thus made to the +imperious demands of fashion, (and which is received with the +indifference it deserves,) were exerted in a good cause, what benefits +might it not produce?</p> + +<p>While women are thus content to sacrifice delicacy, <a name="Page_253" id="Page_253"></a>affection, +principle, to the desire of worldly establishment or aggrandizement, how +is the regeneration of society to be expected from them? Formerly, too, +this spirit was confined to the old, hackneyed in the ways of the world, +and who, having worn out the trifling affections which they ever had, +would subject those of their children to the maxims of worldly prudence. +This we learn from fiction and the drama, where the worldly wisdom of +age is always represented as opposed to the generous but imprudent +passions of youth. But now, in these our better and more enlightened +days, those mercenary maxims which were odious even in age, are found in +the mouths of the young and the fair,—or at least, if not in their +mouths, in their actions. To sacrifice affection to interest is a +praiseworthy thing. It is fearful to hear the withering sneer with which +that folly, love, is spoken of by young and innocent lips—a sneer of +conscious superiority, too! It is a superiority not to be envied, and +which makes them objects of greater pity than those whom they affect to +despise. There is no subject so sacred that it has not a side open to +ridicule, and all the most pure and noble attributes of our nature may +be converted into subjects for a jest, by minds in which no lofty idea +can find an echo. All notions of unworldly and unselfish attachment are +branded with the name of romantic follies, unworthy of sensible persons; +and the idealities of love, like all other idealities, are fast +disappearing beneath the leaden mantle of expediency.</p> + +<p>The reform must begin here, as in all great moral questions, with the +arbiters of morals—those from whom morals take their tone—women. That +we have <a name="Page_254" id="Page_254"></a>no right to expect it to begin with the other sex, may be +proved even by a vulgar aphorism. It is often triumphantly said, that "a +man may marry when he will—a woman must marry when she can." How keen a +satire upon both sexes is couched in this homely proverb! and how long +will they consent not only patiently to acquiesce in its truth, but to +prove it by their actions? That women may be able thus to reform +society, it is of importance that conscience be educated on this subject +as on every other; educated, too, before the tinsel of false romance +deceive the eye, or the frost of worldly-mindedness congeal the heart of +youth. It seems to me that this object would best be effected, not by +avoiding the subject of love, but by treating it, when it arises, with +seriousness and simplicity, as a feeling which the young may one day be +called upon to excite and to return, but which can have no existence in +the lofty in soul and pure in heart, except when called forth by +corresponding qualities in another. Such training as this would be a far +more effectual preventive of foolish passions, than cramping the +intellect in narrow ignorance, and excluding all knowledge of what life +is—in order to prepare people for entering upon it: a plan about as +wise in itself, and as successful as to results, as the bolts, bars, and +duennas of a Spanish play. Outward, substituted for inward, restraints +are sure to act upon man mentally, as actual bonds do physically; he +only wants to get free from them. Noble and virtuous principles in the +heart will not fail to direct the conduct aright, and it is to transfer +these things from matters of decorum or expediency, to matters of +conscience, that we should use our most <a name="Page_255" id="Page_255"></a>earnest endeavours. Above all, +it is incumbent upon those who have the training of the young—of women +especially—so to imbue their souls with lofty and conscientious +principles of action, that they may be alike unwilling to deceive, or +liable to be deceived; that they may not be led as fools or as victims +into those responsible relations, for the consequences of which, (how +momentous!) to themselves, to others, and to society at large, they are +answerable to a God of infinite wisdom and justice.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="LITERARY_CAPABILITIES_OF_WOMEN" id="LITERARY_CAPABILITIES_OF_WOMEN"></a><a name="Page_256" id="Page_256"></a>LITERARY CAPABILITIES OF WOMEN.</h2> + +<h3>BY LORD JEFFREY.</h3> + + +<p>Women, we fear, cannot do every thing; nor every thing they attempt. But +what they can do, they do, for the most part, excellently—and much more +frequently with an absolute and perfect success, than the aspirants of +our rougher and ambitious sex. They cannot, we think, represent +naturally the fierce and sullen passions of men—nor their coarser +vices—nor even scenes of actual business or contention—nor the mixed +motives, and strong and faulty characters, by which affairs of moment +are usually conducted on the great theatre of the world. For much of +this they are disqualified by the delicacy of their training and habits, +and the still more disabling delicacy which pervades their conceptions +and feelings; and from much they are excluded by their necessary +inexperience of the realities they might wish to describe—by their +substantial and incurable ignorance of business—of the way in which +serious affairs are actually managed—and the true nature of the agents +and impulses that give movement and direction to the stronger currents +of ordinary life. Perhaps they are also incapable of long moral or +political investigations, where many complex and indeterminate elements +are to be taken into account, and a variety of opposite probabilities to +be weighed before coming to a conclusion. They are generally too +impatient to <a name="Page_257" id="Page_257"></a>get at the ultimate results, to go well through with such +discussions; and either stop short at some imperfect view of the truth, +or turn aside to repose in the shade of some plausible error. This, +however, we are persuaded, arises entirely from their being seldom set +on such tedious tasks. Their proper and natural business is the +practical regulation of private life, in all its bearings, affections, +and concerns; and the questions with which they have to deal in that +most important department, though often of the utmost difficulty and +nicety, involve, for the most part, but few elements; and may generally +be better described as delicate than intricate;—requiring for their +solution rather a quick tact and fine perception, than a patient or +laborious examination. For the same reason, they rarely succeed in long +works, even on subjects the best suited to their genius; their natural +training rendering them equally averse to long doubt and long labour.</p> + +<p>For all other intellectual efforts, however, either of the understanding +or the fancy, and requiring a thorough knowledge either of man's +strength or his weakness, we apprehend them to be, in all respects, as +well qualified as their perceptions of grace, propriety, ridicule—their +power of detecting artifice, hypocrisy, and affectation—the force and +promptitude of their sympathy, and their capacity of noble and devoted +attachment, and of the efforts and sacrifices it may require, they are, +beyond all doubt, our superiors.</p> + +<p>Their business being, as we have said, with actual or social life, and +the colours it receives from the conduct and dispositions of +individuals, they unconsciously <a name="Page_258" id="Page_258"></a>acquire, at a very early age, the +finest perception of character and manners, and are almost as soon +instinctively schooled in the deep and more dangerous learning of +feeling and emotion; while the very minuteness with which they make and +meditate on these interesting observations, and the finer shades and +variations of sentiment which are thus treasured and recorded, train +their whole faculties to a nicety and precision of operation, which +often discloses itself to advantage in their application to studies of a +different character. When women, accordingly, have turned their +minds—as they have done but too seldom—to the exposition or +arrangement of any branch of knowledge, they have commonly exhibited, we +think, a more beautiful accuracy, and a more uniform and complete +justness of thinking, than their less discriminating brethren. There is +a finish and completeness, in short, about every thing they put out of +their hands, which indicates not only an inherent taste for elegance and +neatness, but a habit of nice observation, and singular exactness of +judgement.</p> + +<p>It has been so little the fashion, at any time, to encourage women to +write for publication, that it is more difficult than it should be, to +prove these truths by examples. Yet there are enough, within the reach +of a very careless and superficial glance over the open field of +literature, to enable us to explain, at least, and illustrate, if not +entirely to verify, our assertions. No <i>man</i>, we will venture to say, +could have written the Letters of Madame de Sevigné, or the Novels of +Miss Austin, or the Hymns and Early Lessons of Mrs. Barbauld, or the +Conversations of Mrs. Marcet. Those <a name="Page_259" id="Page_259"></a>performance, too, are not only +essentially and intensely feminine; but they are, in our judgment, +decidedly more perfect than any masculine productions with which they +can be brought into comparison. They accomplish more completely all the +ends at which they aim; and are worked out with a gracefulness and +felicity of execution which excludes all idea of failure, and entirely +satisfies the expectations they may have raised. We might easily have +added to these instances. There are many parts of Miss Edgeworth's +earlier stories, and of Miss Mitford's sketches and descriptions, and +not a little of Mrs. Opie's, that exhibit the same fine and penetrating +spirit of observations, the same softness and delicacy of hand, and +unerring truth of delineation, to which we have alluded as +characterizing the purer specimens of female art. The same +distinguishing traits of woman's spirit are visible through the grief +and piety of Lady Russel, and the gayety, the spite, and the +venturesomeness of Lady Mary Wortley. We have not as yet much female +poetry; but there is a truly feminine tenderness, purity, and elegance +in the Psyche of Mrs. Tighe, and in some of the smaller pieces of Lady +Craven. On some of the works of Madame de Staël—her Corinne +especially—there is a still deeper stamp of the genius of her sex. Her +pictures of its boundless devotedness—its depth and capacity of +suffering—its high aspirations—its painful irritability, and +inextinguishable thirst for emotion, are powerful specimens of that +morbid anatomy of the heart, which no hand but that of a woman's was +fine enough to have laid open, or skilful enough to have recommended to +our sympathy and love. There is the <a name="Page_260" id="Page_260"></a>same exquisite and inimitable +delicacy, if not the same power, in many of the happier passages of +Madame de Souza and Madame Cottin—to say nothing of the more lively and +yet melancholy records of Madame de Staël, during her long penance in +the court of the Duchesse de Maine.</p> + +<p>We think the poetry of Mrs. Hemans a fine exemplification of Female +Poetry—and we think it has much of the perfection which we have +ventured to ascribe to the happier productions of female genius.</p> + +<p>It may not be the best imaginable poetry, and may not indicate the very +highest or most commanding genius; but it embraces a great deal of that +which gives the very best poetry its chief power of pleasing; and would +strike us, perhaps, as more impassioned and exalted, if it were not +regulated and harmonized by the most beautiful taste. It is singularly +sweet, elegant, and tender—touching, perhaps, and contemplative, rather +than vehement and overpowering; and not only finished throughout with an +exquisite delicacy, and even severity of execution, but infused with a +purity and loftiness of feeling, and a certain sober and humble tone of +indulgence and piety, which must satisfy all judgments, and allay the +apprehensions of those who are most afraid of the passionate +exaggerations of poetry. The diction is always beautiful, harmonious, +and free—and the themes, though of great variety, uniformly treated +with a grace, originality, and judgment, which mark the same master +hand. These themes she has occasionally borrowed, with the peculiar +imagery that belongs to them, from the legends of different nations, and +the most opposite states of <a name="Page_261" id="Page_261"></a>society; and has contrived to retain much +of what is interesting and peculiar in each of them, without adopting, +along with it, any of the revolting or extravagant excesses which may +characterize the taste or manners of the people or the age from which it +has been derived. She has transfused into her German or Scandinavian +legends the imaginative and daring tone of the originals, without the +mystical exaggerations of the one, or the painful fierceness and +coarseness of the other—she has preserved the clearness and elegance of +the French, without their coldness or affectation—and the tenderness +and simplicity of the early Italians, without their diffuseness or +languor. Though occasionally expatiating, somewhat fondly and at large, +among the sweets of her own planting, there is, on the whole, a great +condensation and brevity in most of her pieces, and, almost without +exception, a most judicious and vigorous conclusion. The great merit, +however, of her poetry, is undoubtedly in its tenderness and its +beautiful imagery. The first requires no explanation; but we must be +allowed to add a word as to the peculiar charm and character of the +latter.</p> + +<p>It has always been our opinion, that the very essence of poetry—apart +from the pathos, the wit, or the brilliant description which may be +imbodied in it, but may exist equally in prose—consists in the fine +perception and vivid expression of the subtle and mysterious analogy +which exists between the physical and the moral world—which makes +outward things and qualities the natural types and emblems of inward +gifts and emotions, or leads us to ascribe life and sentiment to every +thing that interests us in the aspects <a name="Page_262" id="Page_262"></a>of external nature. The feeling +of this analogy, obscure and inexplicable as the theory of it may be, is +so deep and universal in our nature, that it has stamped itself on the +ordinary language of men of every kindred and speech: that to such an +extent, that one-half of the epithets by which we familiarly designate +moral and physical qualities, are in reality so many metaphors, borrowed +reciprocally, upon this analogy, from those opposite forms of +expression. The very familiarity, however, of the expression, in these +instances, takes away its political effect—and indeed, in substance, +its metaphorical character. The original sense of the word is entirely +forgotten in the derivative one to which it has succeeded; and it +requires some etymological recollection to convince us that it was +originally nothing else than a typical or analogical illustration. Thus +we talk of a sparkling wit, and a furious blast—a weighty argument, and +a gentle stream—without being at all aware that we are speaking in the +language of poetry, and transferring qualities from one extremity of the +sphere of being to another. In these cases, accordingly, the metaphor, +by ceasing to be felt, in reality ceases to exist, and the analogy being +no longer intimated, of course can produce no effect. But whenever it is +intimated, it does produce an effect; and that effect we think is +poetry.</p> + +<p>It has substantially two functions, and operates in two directions. In +the <i>first</i> place, when material qualities are ascribed to mind, it +strikes vividly out, and brings at once before us, the conception of an +inward feeling or emotion, which it might otherwise have been difficult +to convey, by the presentiment of some <a name="Page_263" id="Page_263"></a>bodily form or quality, which is +instantly felt to be its true representative, and enables us to fix and +comprehend it with a force and clearness not otherwise attainable; and, +in the <i>second</i> place, it vivifies dead and inanimate matter with the +attributes of living and sentient mind, and fills the whole visible +universe around us with objects of interest and sympathy, by tinting +them with the hues of life, and associating them with our own passions +and affections. This magical operation the poet too performs, for the +most part, in one of two ways—either by the direct agency of similies +and metaphors, more or less condensed or developed, or by the mere +graceful presentment of such visible objects on the scene of his +passionate dialogues or adventures, as partake of the character of the +emotion he wishes to excite, and thus form an appropriate accompaniment +or preparation for its direct indulgence or display. The former of those +methods has perhaps been most frequently employed, and certainly has +most attracted attention. But the latter, though less obtrusive, and +perhaps less frequently resorted to of set purpose, is, we are inclined +to think, the most natural and efficacious of the two; and it is often +adopted, we believe unconsciously, by poets of the highest order;—the +predominant emotion of their minds overflowing spontaneously on all the +objects which present themselves to their fancy, and calling out from +them, and colouring with their own hues, those that are naturally +emblematic of its character, and in accordance with its general +expression. It would be easy to show how habitually this is done, by +Shakspeare and Milton especially, and how much many of their finest +passages <a name="Page_264" id="Page_264"></a>are indebted, both for force and richness of effect, to this +general and diffusive harmony of the external character of their scenes +with the passions of their living agents—this harmonizing and +appropriate glow with which they kindle the whole surrounding +atmosphere, and bring all that strikes the sense into unison with all +the touches the heart.</p> + +<p>But it is more to our present purpose to say, that we think the fair +writer before us is eminently a mistress of this poetical secret; and, +in truth, it was solely for the purpose of illustrating this great charm +and excellence in her imagery, that we have ventured upon this little +dissertation. Almost all her poems are rich with fine descriptions, and +studded over with images of visible beauty. But these are never idle +ornaments; all her pomps have a meaning; and her flowers and her gems +are arranged, as they are said to be among Eastern lovers, so as to +speak the language of truth and of passion. This is peculiarly +remarkable in some little pieces, which seem at first sight to be purely +descriptive—but are soon found to tell upon the heart, with a deep +moral and pathetic impression. But it is, in truth, nearly as +conspicuous in the greater part of her productions; where we scarcely +meet with any striking sentiment that is not ushered in by some such +symphony of external nature—and scarcely a lovely picture that does not +serve as an appropriate foreground to some deep or lofty emotion. We may +illustrate this proposition, we think, by the following exquisite lines, +on a palm-tree in an English garden.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span><a name="Page_265" id="Page_265"></a>It waved not through an Eastern sky,<br /></span> +<span>Beside a fount of Araby<br /></span> +<span>It was not fanned by southern breeze<br /></span> +<span>In some green isle of Indian seas,<br /></span> +<span>Nor did its graceful shadows sleep<br /></span> +<span>O'er stream of Africa, lone and deep.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span>But far the exiled Palm-tree grew<br /></span> +<span>Midst foliage of no kindred hue;<br /></span> +<span>Through the laburnum's dropping gold<br /></span> +<span>Rose the light shaft of orient mould,<br /></span> +<span>And Europe's violets, faintly sweet,<br /></span> +<span>Purpled the moss-beds at his feet.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span>There came an eve of festal hours—<br /></span> +<span>Rich music filled that garden's bowers:<br /></span> +<span>Lamps, that from flowering branches hung,<br /></span> +<span>On sparks of dew soft colours flung,<br /></span> +<span>And bright forms glanced—a fairy show—<br /></span> +<span>Under the blossoms, to and fro.<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span>But one, a lone one, midst the throng,<br /></span> +<span>Seemed reckless all of dance or song:<br /></span> +<span>He was a youth of dusky mien,<br /></span> +<span>Whereon the Indian sun had been—<br /></span> +<span>Of crested brow, and long black hair—<br /></span> +<span>A stranger, like the Palm-tree, there!<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span>And slowly, sadly moved his plumes,<br /></span> +<span>Glittering athwart the leafy glooms:<br /></span> +<span>He passed the pale green olives by,<br /></span> +<span>Nor won the chestnut-flowers his eye;<br /></span> +<span>But, when to that sole Palm he came,<br /></span> +<span>Then shot a rapture through his frame!<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span><a name="Page_266" id="Page_266"></a>To him, to him its rustling spoke:<br /></span> +<span>The silence of his soul it broke!<br /></span> +<span>It whispered of his own bright isle,<br /></span> +<span>That lit the ocean with a smile;<br /></span> +<span>Ay, to his ear that native tone<br /></span> +<span>Had something of the sea-wave's moan!<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span>His mother's cabin home, that lay<br /></span> +<span>Where feathery cocoas fringed the bay;<br /></span> +<span>The dashing of his brethren's oar;<br /></span> +<span>The conch-note heard along the shore;—<br /></span> +<span>All through his wakening bosom swept;<br /></span> +<span>He clasped his country's Tree—and wept!<br /></span> +</div><div class="stanza"> +<span>Oh! scorn him not! The strength whereby<br /></span> +<span>The patriot girds himself to die,<br /></span> +<span>The unconquerable power, which fills<br /></span> +<span>The freeman battling on his hills—<br /></span> +<span>These have one fountain deep and clear—<br /></span> +<span>The same whence gushed that child-like tear!<br /></span> +</div></div> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="ENNUI_AND_THE_DESIRE_TO_BE_FASHIONABLE" id="ENNUI_AND_THE_DESIRE_TO_BE_FASHIONABLE"></a><a name="Page_267" id="Page_267"></a>ENNUI, AND THE DESIRE TO BE FASHIONABLE.</h2> + +<h3>BY LORD JEFFREY.</h3> + + +<p>There are two great sources of unhappiness to those whom fortune and +nature seem to have placed above the reach of ordinary miseries. The one +is <i>ennui</i>—that stagnation of life and feeling which results from the +absence of all motives to exertion; and by which the justice of +Providence has so fully compensated the partiality of fortune, that it +may be fairly doubted whether, upon the whole, the race of beggars is +not happier than the race of lords; and whether those vulgar wants that +are sometimes so importunate, are not, in this world, the chief +ministers of enjoyment. This is a plague that infects all indolent +persons who can live on in the rank in which they were born, without the +necessity of working; but, in a free country, it rarely occurs in any +great degree of virulence, except among those who are already at the +summit of human felicity. Below this, there is room for ambition, and +envy, and emulation, and all the feverish movements of aspiring vanity +and unresting selfishness, which act as prophylactics against this more +dark and deadly distemper. It is the canker which corrodes the +full-blown flower of human felicity—the pestilence which smites at the +bright hour of noon.</p> + +<p>The other curse of the happy, has a range more wide and indiscriminate. +It, too, tortures only the comparatively rich and fortunate; but is most +active among <a name="Page_268" id="Page_268"></a>the least distinguished; and abates in malignity as we +ascend to the lofty regions of pure <i>ennui</i>. This is the desire of being +fashionable;—the restless and insatiable passion to pass for creatures +a little more distinguished than we really are—with the mortification +of frequent failure, and the humiliating consciousness of being +perpetually exposed to it. Among those who are secure of "meat, clothes, +and fire," and are thus above the chief physical evils of existence, we +do believe that this is a more prolific source of unhappiness, than +guilt, disease, or wounded affection; and that more positive misery is +created, and more true enjoyment excluded, by the eternal fretting and +straining of this pitiful ambition, than by all the ravages of passion, +the desolations of war, or the accidents or mortality. This may appear a +strong statement; but we make it deliberately; and are deeply convinced +of its truth. The wretchedness which it produces may not be so intense; +but it is of much longer duration, and spreads over a far wider circle. +It is quite dreadful, indeed, to think what a sweep of this pest has +taken among the comforts or our prosperous population. To be though +fashionable—that is, to be thought more opulent and tasteful, and on a +footing of intimacy with a greater number of distinguished persons than +they really are, is the great and laborious pursuit of four families out +of five, the members of which are exempted from the necessity of daily +industry. In this pursuit, their time, spirits, and talents are wasted; +their tempers soured; their affections palsied; and their natural +manners and dispositions altogether sophisticated and lost.</p> + +<p>These are the great twin scourges of the prosperous: <a name="Page_269" id="Page_269"></a>But there are +other maladies, of no slight malignity, to which they are peculiarly +liable. One of these, arising mainly from want of more worthy +occupation, is that perpetual use of stratagem and contrivance—that +little, artful diplomacy of private life, by which the simplest and most +natural transactions are rendered complicated and difficult, and the +common business of existence made to depend on the success of plots and +counterplots. By the incessant practice of this petty policy, a habit of +duplicity and anxiety is infallibly generated, which is equally fatal to +integrity and enjoyment. We gradually come to look on others with the +distrust which we are conscious of deserving; and are insensibly formed +to sentiments of the most unamiable selfishness and suspicion. It is +needless to say, that all these elaborate artifices are worse than +useless to the person who employs them; and that the ingenious plotter +is almost always baffled and exposed by the downright honesty of some +undesigning competitor. Miss Edgeworth, in her tale of "Man[oe]uvring," +has given a very complete and most entertaining representation of "the +by-paths and indirect crooked ways," by which these artful and +inefficient people generally make their way to disappointment. In the +tale, entitled "Madame de Fleury," she has given some useful examples of +the ways in which the rich may most effectually do good to the poor—an +operation which, we really believe, fails more frequently from want of +skill than of inclination: And, in "The Dun," she has drawn a touching +and most impressive picture of the wretchedness which the poor so +frequently suffer, from the unfeeling thoughtlessness which withholds +from them the scanty earnings of their labour.</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="THE_INFLUENCE_OF_PERSONAL_CHARACTER" id="THE_INFLUENCE_OF_PERSONAL_CHARACTER"></a><a name="Page_270" id="Page_270"></a>THE INFLUENCE OF PERSONAL CHARACTER.</h2> + + +<p>The immense importance of personal character is a subject which does not +enough draw the attention of individuals or society, yet it is to the +power of gaining influence, what the root is to the tree,—the soul to +the body. It is doubtful if any of us can be acquainted with the +infinitely minute ramifications into which this all-pervading influence +extends. A slight survey of society will enable us, in some degree, to +judge of it. There are individuals who, by the sole force of personal +character, seem to render wise, better, more elevated, all with whom +they come in contact. Others, again, stand in the midst of the society +in which they are placed, a moral upas, poisoning the atmosphere around +them, so that no virtue can come within their shadow and live. Family +virtues descend with family estates, and hereditary vices are hardly +compensated for by hereditary possessions. The characters of the junior +members of a family are often only reflections or modifications of those +of the elder. Families retain for generations peculiarities of temper +and character. The Catos were all stern, upright, inflexible; the Guises +proud and haughty at the heart, though irresistibly popular and +fascinating in manner. We <i>see</i> the influence which men, exalted and +powerful, exert <a name="Page_271" id="Page_271"></a>on their age, and on society; it is difficult to +believe that a similar influence is exerted by every individual man and +woman, however limited his or her sphere of life: the force of the +torrent is easily calculated,—that of the under-current is hidden, yet +its existence and power are no less actual.</p> + +<p>This truth opens to the conscientious a field of duty not enough +cultivated. The improvement of individual character has been too much +regarded as a matter of personal concern, a duty to ourselves,—to our +immediate relations perhaps, but to no others,—a matter affecting out +individual happiness here, and our individual safety hereafter! This is +taking a very narrow view of a very extended subject. The work of +individual self-formation is a duty, not only to ourselves and our +families, but to our fellow-creatures at large; it is the best and most +certainly beneficial exercise of philanthropy. It is not, it is true, +very flattering to self-love to be told, that instead of mending the +world, (the mania of the present day,) the best service which we can do +that world is to mend ourselves. "If each mends one, all will be +mended," says the old English adage, with the deep wisdom of those +popular sayings,—a wisdom amply corroborated by the unsettled +principles and defective practice of too many of the self-elected +reformers of society.</p> + +<p>It is peculiarly desirable, at this particular juncture of time, that +this subject be insisted upon. Man, naturally a social and gregarious +animal, becomes every day more so. The vast undertakings, the mighty +movements of the present day, which can only be carried into operation +by the combined energy of many wills, <a name="Page_272" id="Page_272"></a>tend to destroy individuality of +thought and action, and the consciousness of individual responsibility. +The dramatist complains of this fact, as it affects his art, the +representation of surface,—the moralist has greater cause to complain +of it, as affecting the foundation of character. If it be true that we +must not follow a multitude to do evil, it is equally true that we must +not follow a multitude even to do good, if it involve the neglect of our +own peculiar duties. Our first, most peremptory, and most urgent duty, +is, the improvement of our own character; so that public beneficence may +not be neutralized by private selfishness,—public energy by private +remissness,—that the applause of the world may not be bought at the +expense of private and domestic wretchedness. So frequent and so +lamentable are the proofs of human weakness in this respect, that we are +sometimes tempted to believe the opinion of the cold and sneering +skeptic,<a name="FNanchor_112_112" id="FNanchor_112_112"></a><a href="#Footnote_112_112" class="fnanchor">[112]</a> that the two ruling passions of men are the love of +pleasure and the love of action; and that all their seemingly good deeds +proceed from these principles. It is not so: it is a libel on human +nature: men,—even erring men,—have better motives, and higher aims: +but they mistake the nature of their duties and invert their order; what +should be "first is last, and the last first."</p> + +<p>It may be wisely urged, that if men waited for the perfecting of +individual character, before they joined their fellow men in those great +undertakings which are to insure benefit to the race, nothing would ever +be accomplished, and society would languish in a state of <a name="Page_273" id="Page_273"></a>passive +inertness. It is far from necessarily following that attention to +private should interfere with attention to public interests; and public +interests are more advanced or retarded than it is possible to believe, +by the personal characters of their agitators. It is difficult to get +the worldly and the selfish to see this, but it is, nevertheless, true; +and there is no wisdom, political or moral, in the phrase, "Measures, +not men." Measures, wise and just in themselves, are received with +distrust and suspicion, because the characters of their originators are +liable to distrust and suspicion. Lord Chesterfield, the great master of +deception, was forced to pay truth the compliment of declaring, that +"the most successful diplomatist would be a man perfectly honest and +upright, who should, at all times, and in all circumstances, say the +truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." So the rulers of +nations ought to be perfectly honest and upright; not because such men +would be free from error, but because the faith of the governed in their +honour would obviate the consequences of many errors. It is the want of +unselfishness and truth on the part of rulers, and the consequent want +of faith in the ruled, that has reduced the politics of nations to a +complicated science. If we could once get men to act out the gospel +precept, "Do unto others as ye would that they should do unto you," +nations might burn their codes, and lawyers their statute-books. These +are the hundred cords with which the Lilliputians bound Gulliver, and he +escaped. If they had possessed it, or could have managed it, one cable +would have been worth them all. Much has been said,—much written,—on +the art of governing. Why <a name="Page_274" id="Page_274"></a>has the simple truth been overlooked or +suppressed, that the moral character of the rulers of nations is of +first-rate importance? Except the Lord build the city, vain is the +labour of them who build it; except religion and virtue guide the state, +vain are the talents and the acts of legislators. Is it possible that +motives of paltry personal advancement, or of pecuniary gain, can induce +men to assume responsibilities affecting the welfare of millions? The +voice of those millions replies in the affirmative, and their +reproachful glances turn on <i>you</i>, mothers of our legislators! It might +have been yours, to stamp on their infant minds the dispassionate and +unselfish devotedness which belongs to your own sex,—the scorn of +meanness; the contempt of self, in comparison with others, peculiar to +woman. How have you fulfilled your lofty mission? Charity itself can +only allow us to suppose that its existence is as unknown as its spirit.</p> + +<p>The important fact, then, of the great influence of personal character, +can never be too much impressed upon all; but it is peculiarly needful +that women be impressed with it, because their personal character must +necessarily influence that of their children, and be the source of their +personal character. For, if the active performance of the duties of a +citizen interfere, and it undoubtedly does so, with the duty of +self-education, of what importance is it that men enter upon them with +such a personal character as may insure us confidence while it secures +us from temptation? The formation of such a character depends mainly on +mothers, and especially on their personal character and principles. The +character of the mother influences <a name="Page_275" id="Page_275"></a>the children more than that of the +father, because it is more exposed to their daily, hourly observation. +It is difficult for these young, though acute observers, to comprehend +the principles which regulate their father's political opinions; his +vote in the senate; his conduct in political or commercial relations; +but they can see,—yes! and they can estimate and imitate, the moral +principles of the mother in her management of themselves, her treatment +of her domestics, and the thousand petty details of the interior. These +principles, whether lax or strict, low or high in moral tone, become, by +an insensible and imperceptible adoption, their principles, and are +carried out by them into the duties and avocations of future life. It +would be startling to many to know with what intelligence and accuracy +motives are penetrated, inconsistencies remarked, and treasured up with +retributive or imitative projects, as may best suit the purpose of the +moment. Nothing but a more extensive knowledge of children than is +usually possessed on entering life, can awaken parents to the perception +of this truth; and awakened perception may, perhaps, be only awakened +misery. How important is it, then, that every thing in the education of +women should tend to enlighten conscience, that she may enter on her +arduous task with principles requiring only watchfulness, not +reformation; and such a personal character as may exercise none by +healthy influences on her children!</p> + + + +<hr style="width: 65%;" /> +<h2><a name="ON_THE_MEANS_OF_SECURING_PERSONAL_INFLUENCE" id="ON_THE_MEANS_OF_SECURING_PERSONAL_INFLUENCE"></a><a name="Page_276" id="Page_276"></a>ON THE MEANS OF SECURING PERSONAL INFLUENCE.</h2> + + +<p>The qualities which seem more especially needful in a character which is +to influence others, are, consistency, simplicity, and benevolence, or +love.</p> + +<p>By consistency of character, I mean consistency of action with +principle, of manner with thought, of <i>self</i> with <i>self</i>. The want of +this quality is a failing with which our sex is often charged, and +justly; but are we to blame? Our hearts are warm, our nerves irritable, +and we have seen how little there is, in existing systems of female +education, calculated to give wide, lofty, self-devoted principles of +action. Without such principles, there can be no consistency of conduct; +and without consistency of conduct, there can be no available moral +influence.</p> + +<p>The peculiar evil arising from want of consistency, is the want of trust +or faith which it engenders. This is felt in the common intercourse with +the world. In our relations with inconsistent persons, we are like +mariners at sea without a compass. On the other hand, intercourse with +consistent persons gives to the mind a sort of tranquillity, peculiarly +favourable to happiness and to virtue. It is like the effect produced by +the perception of an immutable truth, which, from the very force of +contrast, is peculiarly grateful to the <a name="Page_277" id="Page_277"></a>inhabitants of so changeable a +world as this. It is moral repose.</p> + +<p>This sort of moral repose is most peculiarly advantageous to children, +because it allows ample scope for the development of their mental and +moral faculties; banishing from their minds all that chaotic +bewilderment into which dependence on inconsistent persons throws them. +It is advantageous to them in another, and more important way,—it +prepares them for a belief in virtue; a trust in others, which it is +easy to train up into a veneration for the source of all virtue; a trust +in the origin of all truth. There can be no clearness of moral +perception in the governed, where there is no manifestation of a moral +rule of right in the governor. In speaking of moral perception, I do not +mean to say that children have, properly speaking, a moral perception of +inconsistency; but it affects their comfort and well-being, +nevertheless. There is, in the nature of man, as great a perception of +moral, as of physical order and proportion; and the absence of the moral +produces pain and disgust to the soul, as the absence of the physical +does to the senses. This state of pain and disgust is felt, though it +can never be expressed, by children, who are under the management of +inconsistent persons,—that is, persons whose conduct is guided solely +by feeling, (good or bad,) by caprice, or impulse; and how injurious it +is to them, we may easily conceive. If, however, their present comfort +only were endangered by it, the evil would be of comparatively small +magnitude; but it affects their character for life. They cease to trust, +and they cease to venerate; now, trust is the root of faith, and +vene<a name="Page_278" id="Page_278"></a>ration of piety:—and when the root is destroyed, how can the plant +flourish? Perhaps we may remark that the effect here produced upon +children is the same as that which long intercourse with the world +produces in men: only that the effect differs in proportion to their +differing intellectual faculties. The child is annoyed, and knows not +the cause of annoyance; the man is annoyed, and endeavours to lose the +sense of discomfort in a universal skepticism as to human virtue, and a +resolving of all actions into one principle, self-interest. He thus +seeks to create a principle possessing the stability which he desires, +but seeks in vain to find; for, be it remembered, our love of moral +stability is precisely as great as our love of physical change;—another +of the mysteries of our being. The effects on the man are the same as on +the child,—he ceases to believe, and he ceases to venerate; and the end +is the most degrading of all conditions,—the abnegation of all abstract +virtue, generosity, or love. Now, into this state children are brought +by the inconsistency of parents,—that is, these young and innocent +creatures are placed in a condition, moral and intellectual, which we +consider an evil, even when produced by long contact with a selfish and +unkind world. And thus they enter upon life, prepared for vice in all +its forms,—and skepticism, in all its heart-withering tendencies. How +can parents bear this responsibility? There is something so touching in +the simple faith of childhood,—its utter dependence,—its willingness +to believe in the perfection of those to whom it looks for +protection—that to betray that faith, to shake that dependence, seems +almost akin to irreligion.</p> + +<p><a name="Page_279" id="Page_279"></a>The value of principle, then, in itself so precious, is enhanced tenfold +by constancy in its manifestations, and therefore consistency, as a +source of influence, can never be too much insisted upon.</p> + +<p>Consistency of principle is brought to the test in every daily, hourly +occurrence of woman's life, and if she have been brought up without an +abiding sense of duty and responsibility, she is of all beings most +unfortunate; influences the most potent are committed to her care, and +from her they issue like the simoom of the desert, breathing moral +blight and death. I have endeavoured, in some degree, to enforce the +power of indirect influences on the minds of <i>children</i>: they are very +powerful in the other relations of life; in the conjugal, the truth is +too well known and attested by tale and song to need additional +corroboration here—and this book is principally, though not wholly, +dedicated to woman in her maternal character.</p> + +<p>The extreme importance of the manifestation of consistency in mothers +may be argued from this fact, that it is of infinite importance to +children to see the daily operation of an immutable and consistent rule +of right, in matters sufficiently small to come within the sphere of +childish observation, and, therefore, if called upon to give a +definition of the peculiar mission of woman, and the peculiar source of +her influence, I should say it is the application of large principles to +small duties,—the agency of comprehensive intelligence on details. That +largeness of mental vision, which, while it can comprehend the vast, is +too keen to overlook the little, is especially to be cultivated by +women. It is a great mistake to suppose the two qualities are +incompatible; <a name="Page_280" id="Page_280"></a>and the supposition that they are so, has done much +mischief; the error arises not from the extent, but from the narrowness +of our capacity, <i>To aspire</i> is our privilege, and a privilege which we +are by no means slack to use, without considering that the operations of +infinitude are even more incomprehensible in their minuteness than in +their magnitude, and that, therefore, to be always looking from the +minute towards the vast, is only a proof of the finite nature of our +present capacity. The loftiest intellect may, without abasement, be +employed on the minutest domestic detail, and in all probability will +perform it better than an inferior one: it is the motive and end of an +action which makes it either dignified or mean. In the homely words of +old Herbert</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span>All may of thee partake:<br /></span> +<span class="i2">Nothing can be so mean,<br /></span> +<span>Which, with this tincture, <i>for thy sake</i><br /></span> +<span class="i2">Will not grow bright and clean.<br /></span> +</div></div> + +<p>It is then in the minutiæ of daily life and conduct that this +consistency has its most beneficial operation, and it must derive its +power from the personal character for this reason, that no virtues but +indigenous ones are capable of the sort of moral transfusion here +mentioned. It is rare to see a parent, eminently distinguished by any +moral virtue, unsuccessful in the transmitting that virtue to children, +simply because, being an integral part of character, it is consistent in +its mode of operation; so virtues originating in effort, or practised +for the sake of example, are seldom transferable; the same consistency +cannot be expected in the exercise of them, and this may explain the +small <a name="Page_281" id="Page_281"></a>success of pattern mothers, <i>par excellence</i> so called, and whose +good intentions and sacrifices ought not to be objects of derision; the +very appearance of effort mars the effect of all effort.</p> + +<p>The world is sometimes surprised to see extraordinary proofs of moral +influence exercised by persons who never planned, never aimed, to obtain +such influence,—nay, whose conduct is never regulated by any fixed aim +for its attainment; the fact is, that those characters are composed of +truth and love;—truth, which prevents the assumption even of virtues +which are not natural, thereby adding to the influence of such as are; +love, the most contagious of all moral contagions, the regenerating +principle of the world!</p> + +<p>The virtue which mainly contributes to the support of +consistency—without which, in fact, consistency cannot exist—is +simplicity: consistency of conduct can never be maintained by characters +in any degree double or sophisticated, for it is not of simplicity as +opposed to craft, but of simplicity as opposed to sophistication, that I +would here speak, and rather as the Christian virtue, single-mindedness; +the desire to <i>be</i>, opposed to the wish to <i>appear</i>. We have seen how +rarely influence can be gained where no faith can be yielded; now an +unsimple character can never inspire faith or trust. People do not +always analyze mental phenomena sufficiently to know the reason of this +fact, but no one will dispute the fact itself. It is true there are +persons who have the power of conciliating confidence of which they are +unworthy, but it is only because (like Castruccio Castrucciani) they are +such exquisite dissemblers, that their affection of simplicity has +temporarily the effect <a name="Page_282" id="Page_282"></a>of simplicity itself. This power of successful +assumption is, fortunately, confined to very few, and the pretenders to +unreal virtues and the utterer of assumed sentiments are only ill-paid +labourers, working hard to reap no harvest-fruits.</p> + +<p>An objection slightly advanced before, may here naturally occur again, +and may be answered more fully, viz. the opposition of the conventional +forms of society to entire simplicity of thought and action, and +consequently to influence. The influence which conventionalism has over +principle is to be utterly disclaimed, but its having an injurious +influence over manner is far more easily obviated; so easily, indeed, +that it may be doubted whether there be not more simplicity in +compliance than in opposition. Originality, either of thought or +behaviour, is most uncommon, and only found in minds above, or in minds +below, the ordinary standard; neither is this peculiar feature of +society in itself a blame-worthy one: it arises out of the constitution +of man, naturally imitative, gregarious, and desirous of approbation. +Nothing would be gained by the abolition of these forms, for they are +representatives of a good spirit; the spirit, it is true, is too often +not there, but it would be better to call it back than to abolish the +form. We have an opportunity of judging how far it would be convenient +or agreeable to do so, in the conduct of some <i>soi-disant</i> contemners of +forms; we perceive that such contempt is equally the offspring of +selfishness with slavish regard: it is only the exchange of the +selfishness of vanity for the selfishness of indolence and pride, and +the world is the loser by the exchange. Hypocrisy has been said to be +the homage <a name="Page_283" id="Page_283"></a>which vice pays to virtue. Conventional forms may, with +justice, be called the homage which selfishness pays to benevolence.</p> + +<p>How then is simplicity of character to be preserved without violating +conventionalism, to which it seems so much at variance, and yet, which +it ought not to oppose? By the cultivation of that spirit of which +conventional forms are only the symbol, by training children in the +early exercise of the kind the benevolent affections, and by exacting in +the domestic circle all those observances which are the signs of +good-will in society, so that they may be the emanations of a benevolent +heart, instead of the gloss of artificial politeness. Conventionalism +will never injure the simplicity of such characters as these, nay, it +may greatly add to their influence, and secure for their virtues and +talents the reception that they deserve; it is a part of benevolence to +cultivate the graces that may persuade or allure men to the imitation of +what is right. "Stand off, I am holier than thou," is not more foreign +to true piety, than "Stand off, I am wiser than thou," is to true +benevolence, as relates to those "things indifferent," in which we are +told that we may be all things to all men.</p> + +<p>The cultivation of domestic politeness is a subject not nearly enough +attended to, yet it is the sign, and ought to be the manifestation, of +many beautiful virtues—affection, self-denial, elegance, are all called +into play by it; and it has a potent recommendation in its being an +excellent preservative against affectation, which generally arises from +a great desire to please, joined to an ignorance of the means of +pleasing <a name="Page_284" id="Page_284"></a>successfully. It is to be hoped that these remarks will not be +deemed trifling or irrelevant in a chapter on the means of securing +personal influence. Powers of pleasing are a very great source of that +influence, and there is no telling how great might be the benefit to +society, if all on whom they are bestowed (and how lavishly they are +bestowed on woman!) would be persuaded to use them, not as a means of +selfish gratification, but as an engine for the promotion of good.<a name="FNanchor_113_113" id="FNanchor_113_113"></a><a href="#Footnote_113_113" class="fnanchor">[113]</a> +Such powers are as sacred a trust from the Creator as any other gift, +and ought to be equally used for his glory and the advancement of moral +good. Virtue, indeed, in itself is venerable, but it must be attractive +in order to be influential. And how attractive it might be, if the +powers of pleasing, which can cover and even recommend the deformity of +vice, were conscientiously excited in its behalf! This is the peculiar +province of women, and they are peculiarly fitted for it by Nature. +Their personal loveliness, their versatile powers, and lively fancy, +qualify them in an eminent degree to adorn, and by adorning to +recommend, virtue and religion.</p> + +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span>Cosi all' egro fanciul porgiamo aspersi<br /></span> +<span>Di soare licor gli orli del vaso.<br /></span> +</div></div> + + +<div class="footnotes"> +<h3>FOOTNOTES:</h3> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_1_1" id="Footnote_1_1"></a><a href="#FNanchor_1_1"><span class="label">[1]</span></a> Phil. iv. 6.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_2_2" id="Footnote_2_2"></a><a href="#FNanchor_2_2"><span class="label">[2]</span></a> Young's Night Thoughts.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_3_3" id="Footnote_3_3"></a><a href="#FNanchor_3_3"><span class="label">[3]</span></a> "The Flight of the Duchess." Browning.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_4_4" id="Footnote_4_4"></a><a href="#FNanchor_4_4"><span class="label">[4]</span></a> Wordsworth.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_5_5" id="Footnote_5_5"></a><a href="#FNanchor_5_5"><span class="label">[5]</span></a> See page 15.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_6_6" id="Footnote_6_6"></a><a href="#FNanchor_6_6"><span class="label">[6]</span></a> Phil. ii. 12.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_7_7" id="Footnote_7_7"></a><a href="#FNanchor_7_7"><span class="label">[7]</span></a> Heb. xii. 14.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_8_8" id="Footnote_8_8"></a><a href="#FNanchor_8_8"><span class="label">[8]</span></a> Matt. xxv. 41.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_9_9" id="Footnote_9_9"></a><a href="#FNanchor_9_9"><span class="label">[9]</span></a> Phil. iii. 13.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_10_10" id="Footnote_10_10"></a><a href="#FNanchor_10_10"><span class="label">[10]</span></a> Rom. viii. 29.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_11_11" id="Footnote_11_11"></a><a href="#FNanchor_11_11"><span class="label">[11]</span></a> Luke xii. 3.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_12_12" id="Footnote_12_12"></a><a href="#FNanchor_12_12"><span class="label">[12]</span></a> Matt. vi. 18.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_13_13" id="Footnote_13_13"></a><a href="#FNanchor_13_13"><span class="label">[13]</span></a> Matt. vi. 20, 21.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_14_14" id="Footnote_14_14"></a><a href="#FNanchor_14_14"><span class="label">[14]</span></a> Matt. vi. 33.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_15_15" id="Footnote_15_15"></a><a href="#FNanchor_15_15"><span class="label">[15]</span></a> Deut. xxxiii. 25.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_16_16" id="Footnote_16_16"></a><a href="#FNanchor_16_16"><span class="label">[16]</span></a> Lyra Apostolica.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_17_17" id="Footnote_17_17"></a><a href="#FNanchor_17_17"><span class="label">[17]</span></a> Rom. viii. 28.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_18_18" id="Footnote_18_18"></a><a href="#FNanchor_18_18"><span class="label">[18]</span></a> 1 Pet. v. 7.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_19_19" id="Footnote_19_19"></a><a href="#FNanchor_19_19"><span class="label">[19]</span></a> 2 Tim. i. 12.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_20_20" id="Footnote_20_20"></a><a href="#FNanchor_20_20"><span class="label">[20]</span></a> 1 Sam. iii. 18.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_21_21" id="Footnote_21_21"></a><a href="#FNanchor_21_21"><span class="label">[21]</span></a> Jean Paul Richter.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_22_22" id="Footnote_22_22"></a><a href="#FNanchor_22_22"><span class="label">[22]</span></a> 1 Pet. v. 8, 9.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_23_23" id="Footnote_23_23"></a><a href="#FNanchor_23_23"><span class="label">[23]</span></a> Thess. v. 19.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_24_24" id="Footnote_24_24"></a><a href="#FNanchor_24_24"><span class="label">[24]</span></a> The Siege of Corinth.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_25_25" id="Footnote_25_25"></a><a href="#FNanchor_25_25"><span class="label">[25]</span></a> Zach. xiii. 6.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_26_26" id="Footnote_26_26"></a><a href="#FNanchor_26_26"><span class="label">[26]</span></a> Heb. ii. 18.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_27_27" id="Footnote_27_27"></a><a href="#FNanchor_27_27"><span class="label">[27]</span></a> James iv. 3.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_28_28" id="Footnote_28_28"></a><a href="#FNanchor_28_28"><span class="label">[28]</span></a> Jer. xliv. 4.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_29_29" id="Footnote_29_29"></a><a href="#FNanchor_29_29"><span class="label">[29]</span></a> Isa. viii. 20.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_30_30" id="Footnote_30_30"></a><a href="#FNanchor_30_30"><span class="label">[30]</span></a> Col. i. 12.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_31_31" id="Footnote_31_31"></a><a href="#FNanchor_31_31"><span class="label">[31]</span></a> Archdeacon Manning.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_32_32" id="Footnote_32_32"></a><a href="#FNanchor_32_32"><span class="label">[32]</span></a> Matt. xxv. 24.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_33_33" id="Footnote_33_33"></a><a href="#FNanchor_33_33"><span class="label">[33]</span></a> Ps. cxli. 3.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_34_34" id="Footnote_34_34"></a><a href="#FNanchor_34_34"><span class="label">[34]</span></a> Gal. vi. 7.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_35_35" id="Footnote_35_35"></a><a href="#FNanchor_35_35"><span class="label">[35]</span></a> Luke xv.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_36_36" id="Footnote_36_36"></a><a href="#FNanchor_36_36"><span class="label">[36]</span></a> Rom. viii. 28.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_37_37" id="Footnote_37_37"></a><a href="#FNanchor_37_37"><span class="label">[37]</span></a> 1 John iii.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_38_38" id="Footnote_38_38"></a><a href="#FNanchor_38_38"><span class="label">[38]</span></a> 1 Cor. xii. 25, 26.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_39_39" id="Footnote_39_39"></a><a href="#FNanchor_39_39"><span class="label">[39]</span></a> Cor. iii. 16.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_40_40" id="Footnote_40_40"></a><a href="#FNanchor_40_40"><span class="label">[40]</span></a> Archdeacon Manning.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_41_41" id="Footnote_41_41"></a><a href="#FNanchor_41_41"><span class="label">[41]</span></a> See Bishop Butler's Sermons.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_42_42" id="Footnote_42_42"></a><a href="#FNanchor_42_42"><span class="label">[42]</span></a> 1 Cor. vi. 20.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_43_43" id="Footnote_43_43"></a><a href="#FNanchor_43_43"><span class="label">[43]</span></a> Acts iv. 28.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_44_44" id="Footnote_44_44"></a><a href="#FNanchor_44_44"><span class="label">[44]</span></a> Coleridge's Aids to Reflection.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_45_45" id="Footnote_45_45"></a><a href="#FNanchor_45_45"><span class="label">[45]</span></a> Hannah More.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_46_46" id="Footnote_46_46"></a><a href="#FNanchor_46_46"><span class="label">[46]</span></a> Rom. xv. 1, 2, 3.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_47_47" id="Footnote_47_47"></a><a href="#FNanchor_47_47"><span class="label">[47]</span></a> Matt. xx. 28.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_48_48" id="Footnote_48_48"></a><a href="#FNanchor_48_48"><span class="label">[48]</span></a> 2 Cor. v. 15.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_49_49" id="Footnote_49_49"></a><a href="#FNanchor_49_49"><span class="label">[49]</span></a> Phil. ii. 4.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_50_50" id="Footnote_50_50"></a><a href="#FNanchor_50_50"><span class="label">[50]</span></a> 1 Cor. xvi. 14.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_51_51" id="Footnote_51_51"></a><a href="#FNanchor_51_51"><span class="label">[51]</span></a> Gal. v. 13.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_52_52" id="Footnote_52_52"></a><a href="#FNanchor_52_52"><span class="label">[52]</span></a> Thess. iv. 9.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_53_53" id="Footnote_53_53"></a><a href="#FNanchor_53_53"><span class="label">[53]</span></a> 1 John iii. 18.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_54_54" id="Footnote_54_54"></a><a href="#FNanchor_54_54"><span class="label">[54]</span></a> Rom. xiii. 9, 10.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_55_55" id="Footnote_55_55"></a><a href="#FNanchor_55_55"><span class="label">[55]</span></a> Matt. vii. 12.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_56_56" id="Footnote_56_56"></a><a href="#FNanchor_56_56"><span class="label">[56]</span></a> Matt. v. 48.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_57_57" id="Footnote_57_57"></a><a href="#FNanchor_57_57"><span class="label">[57]</span></a> Sir Philip Sidney.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_58_58" id="Footnote_58_58"></a><a href="#FNanchor_58_58"><span class="label">[58]</span></a> Eph. iv. 26.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_59_59" id="Footnote_59_59"></a><a href="#FNanchor_59_59"><span class="label">[59]</span></a> Ex. xx. 12.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_60_60" id="Footnote_60_60"></a><a href="#FNanchor_60_60"><span class="label">[60]</span></a> Eph. v. 33.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_61_61" id="Footnote_61_61"></a><a href="#FNanchor_61_61"><span class="label">[61]</span></a> Isa. xxxii. 17.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_62_62" id="Footnote_62_62"></a><a href="#FNanchor_62_62"><span class="label">[62]</span></a> +</p> +<div class="poem"><div class="stanza"> +<span><i>Maria</i>. How can we love?—<br /><br /></span> +<span><i>Giovanna</i> (interrupting). Mainly, by hearing none<br /></span> +<span>Decry the object, then by cherishing<br /></span> +<span>The good we see in it, and overlooking<br /></span> +<span>What is less pleasant in the paths of life.<br /></span> +<span>All have some virtue if we leave it them<br /></span> +<span>In peace and quiet, all may lose some part<br /></span> +<span>By sifting too minutely good and bad.<br /></span> +<span>The tenderer and the timider of creatures<br /></span> +<span>Often desert the brood that has been handled,<br /></span> +<span>Or turned about, or indiscreetly looked at.<br /></span> +<span>The slightest touches, touching constantly,<br /></span> +<span>Irritate and inflame.<br /></span> +</div></div> +<p> +LANDOR'S <i>Giovanna and Andrea</i>.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_63_63" id="Footnote_63_63"></a><a href="#FNanchor_63_63"><span class="label">[63]</span></a> Miss Edgeworth says that proverbs are vulgar because they +are common sense.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_64_64" id="Footnote_64_64"></a><a href="#FNanchor_64_64"><span class="label">[64]</span></a> Emerson.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_65_65" id="Footnote_65_65"></a><a href="#FNanchor_65_65"><span class="label">[65]</span></a> 1 Tim. vi. 10.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_66_66" id="Footnote_66_66"></a><a href="#FNanchor_66_66"><span class="label">[66]</span></a> The saying of the "Great Captain," Gonsalvo di Cordova.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_67_67" id="Footnote_67_67"></a><a href="#FNanchor_67_67"><span class="label">[67]</span></a> Job xxix. 13.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_68_68" id="Footnote_68_68"></a><a href="#FNanchor_68_68"><span class="label">[68]</span></a> Montesquieu. Esprit des Lois.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_69_69" id="Footnote_69_69"></a><a href="#FNanchor_69_69"><span class="label">[69]</span></a> Colonel Mitchell's Life of Wallenstein.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_70_70" id="Footnote_70_70"></a><a href="#FNanchor_70_70"><span class="label">[70]</span></a> The Church Catechism.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_71_71" id="Footnote_71_71"></a><a href="#FNanchor_71_71"><span class="label">[71]</span></a> Carlyle.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_72_72" id="Footnote_72_72"></a><a href="#FNanchor_72_72"><span class="label">[72]</span></a> Matt. xxv. 23.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_73_73" id="Footnote_73_73"></a><a href="#FNanchor_73_73"><span class="label">[73]</span></a> Dan. xii. 3.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_74_74" id="Footnote_74_74"></a><a href="#FNanchor_74_74"><span class="label">[74]</span></a> "The vessel whose rupture occasioned the paralysis was so +minute and so slightly affected by the circulation, that it could have +been ruptured only by the over-action of the mind"—<i>Bishop Jebb's +Life</i>.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_75_75" id="Footnote_75_75"></a><a href="#FNanchor_75_75"><span class="label">[75]</span></a> "This is nature's law; she will never see her children +wronged. If the mind which rules the body, ever forgets itself so far as +to trample upon its slave, the slave is never generous enough to forgive +the injury but will rise and smile its oppressor. Thus has many a +monarch been dethroned."—<i>Longfellow</i>.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_76_76" id="Footnote_76_76"></a><a href="#FNanchor_76_76"><span class="label">[76]</span></a> It is the theory of Locke, that the angels have all their +knowledge spread out before them, as in a map,—all to be seen together +at one glance.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_77_77" id="Footnote_77_77"></a><a href="#FNanchor_77_77"><span class="label">[77]</span></a> Coleridge.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_78_78" id="Footnote_78_78"></a><a href="#FNanchor_78_78"><span class="label">[78]</span></a> Assembly's Catechism.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_79_79" id="Footnote_79_79"></a><a href="#FNanchor_79_79"><span class="label">[79]</span></a> Plebeii videntur appellandi omnes philosophi qui à Platone +et Socrate et ab ea familia dissiderent.—CICERO, <i>Tuscul.</i> 1, 2, 3.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_80_80" id="Footnote_80_80"></a><a href="#FNanchor_80_80"><span class="label">[80]</span></a> L'Abbé Barthélemi.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_81_81" id="Footnote_81_81"></a><a href="#FNanchor_81_81"><span class="label">[81]</span></a> Quarterly Review.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_82_82" id="Footnote_82_82"></a><a href="#FNanchor_82_82"><span class="label">[82]</span></a> The critic who suffers his philosophy to reason away his +pleasure is not much wiser than a child who cuts open his drum to see +what is within it that causes the music.—<i>Edinburgh Review</i>.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_83_83" id="Footnote_83_83"></a><a href="#FNanchor_83_83"><span class="label">[83]</span></a> Ce n'est pas la victoire, c'est le combat qui fait le +bonheur des nobles c[oe]urs.—<i>Montalembert</i>. +</p><p> +Si le Tout-puissant tenait dans une main la vérité, et dans +l'autre la recherche de la vérité, c'est la recherche que je lui +demanderais.—<i>Lessing</i>.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_84_84" id="Footnote_84_84"></a><a href="#FNanchor_84_84"><span class="label">[84]</span></a> Dryden, of Shakspeare.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_85_85" id="Footnote_85_85"></a><a href="#FNanchor_85_85"><span class="label">[85]</span></a> Miss Ferrier. Mrs. H.E.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_86_86" id="Footnote_86_86"></a><a href="#FNanchor_86_86"><span class="label">[86]</span></a> Napoleon's remark on Rollin's History.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_87_87" id="Footnote_87_87"></a><a href="#FNanchor_87_87"><span class="label">[87]</span></a> 1 Cor. x. 31.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_88_88" id="Footnote_88_88"></a><a href="#FNanchor_88_88"><span class="label">[88]</span></a> 1 Pet. iii. 1.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_89_89" id="Footnote_89_89"></a><a href="#FNanchor_89_89"><span class="label">[89]</span></a> 1 Cor. viii. 13.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_90_90" id="Footnote_90_90"></a><a href="#FNanchor_90_90"><span class="label">[90]</span></a> Matt. xviii. 6, 7.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_91_91" id="Footnote_91_91"></a><a href="#FNanchor_91_91"><span class="label">[91]</span></a> Milnes.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_92_92" id="Footnote_92_92"></a><a href="#FNanchor_92_92"><span class="label">[92]</span></a> Keble.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_93_93" id="Footnote_93_93"></a><a href="#FNanchor_93_93"><span class="label">[93]</span></a> French.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_94_94" id="Footnote_94_94"></a><a href="#FNanchor_94_94"><span class="label">[94]</span></a> James i. 12.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_95_95" id="Footnote_95_95"></a><a href="#FNanchor_95_95"><span class="label">[95]</span></a> 1 John v. 19.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_96_96" id="Footnote_96_96"></a><a href="#FNanchor_96_96"><span class="label">[96]</span></a> Matt. xviii. 6, 7.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_97_97" id="Footnote_97_97"></a><a href="#FNanchor_97_97"><span class="label">[97]</span></a> Gen. iv. 9.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_98_98" id="Footnote_98_98"></a><a href="#FNanchor_98_98"><span class="label">[98]</span></a> Rev. xi. 15.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_99_99" id="Footnote_99_99"></a><a href="#FNanchor_99_99"><span class="label">[99]</span></a> Matt. v. 8.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_100_100" id="Footnote_100_100"></a><a href="#FNanchor_100_100"><span class="label">[100]</span></a> Col. i. 12.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_101_101" id="Footnote_101_101"></a><a href="#FNanchor_101_101"><span class="label">[101]</span></a> Jer. ii. 19.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_102_102" id="Footnote_102_102"></a><a href="#FNanchor_102_102"><span class="label">[102]</span></a> Isa. xxxii. 19.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_103_103" id="Footnote_103_103"></a><a href="#FNanchor_103_103"><span class="label">[103]</span></a> We hare come to the close of the Letters. The following +pages are quoted from writers of eminence, and bear directly upon the +main subject of "Female Education." The first quotations are from the +anonymous author of "Woman's Mission." They are of inestimable value. +EDITOR.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_104_104" id="Footnote_104_104"></a><a href="#FNanchor_104_104"><span class="label">[104]</span></a> Aimé Martin.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_105_105" id="Footnote_105_105"></a><a href="#FNanchor_105_105"><span class="label">[105]</span></a> Aimé Martin.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_106_106" id="Footnote_106_106"></a><a href="#FNanchor_106_106"><span class="label">[106]</span></a> Ibid.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_107_107" id="Footnote_107_107"></a><a href="#FNanchor_107_107"><span class="label">[107]</span></a> See the Memoirs of Pepys, Evelyn, De Grammont, &c.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_108_108" id="Footnote_108_108"></a><a href="#FNanchor_108_108"><span class="label">[108]</span></a> Aimé Martin.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_109_109" id="Footnote_109_109"></a><a href="#FNanchor_109_109"><span class="label">[109]</span></a> Ibid.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_110_110" id="Footnote_110_110"></a><a href="#FNanchor_110_110"><span class="label">[110]</span></a> Aimé Martin.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_111_111" id="Footnote_111_111"></a><a href="#FNanchor_111_111"><span class="label">[111]</span></a> It is Coleridge who speaks of the "unselfishness of +love," in one of the volumes of his "Remains."</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_112_112" id="Footnote_112_112"></a><a href="#FNanchor_112_112"><span class="label">[112]</span></a> Gibbon.</p></div> + +<div class="footnote"><p><a name="Footnote_113_113" id="Footnote_113_113"></a><a href="#FNanchor_113_113"><span class="label">[113]</span></a> It was a beautiful idea in the mythology of the ancients, +which identified the Graces with the Charities of social life.</p></div> +</div> + +<p> </p> +<hr class="full" /> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE YOUNG LADY'S MENTOR***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 15490-h.txt or 15490-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/5/4/9/15490">https://www.gutenberg.org/1/5/4/9/15490</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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For +example an eBook of filename 10234 would be found at: + +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/0/2/3/10234 + +or filename 24689 would be found at: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/6/8/24689 + +An alternative method of locating eBooks: +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL">https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL</a> + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** +</pre> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/15490.txt b/15490.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e778fae --- /dev/null +++ b/15490.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7866 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Young Lady's Mentor, by A Lady + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Young Lady's Mentor + A Guide to the Formation of Character. In a Series of Letters to Her Unknown Friends + + +Author: A Lady + +Release Date: March 28, 2005 [eBook #15490] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE YOUNG LADY'S MENTOR*** + + +E-text prepared by Joshua Hutchinson, David Newman, Cori Samuel, and the +Project Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team from page images +generously made available by the Internet Archive Children's Library and +the University of California Library (Davis) + + + +Note: Images of the original pages are available through the Internet + Archive Children's Library. See + http://www.archive.org/details/UF00002046 + + Images of pages 244-284 were kindly provided by Special Collections + at the University of California Library (Davis) + + + + + +THE YOUNG LADY'S MENTOR + +A Guide to the Formation of Character. +In a Series of Letters to Her Unknown Friends + +by + +A LADY. + +Philadelphia: +H.C. Peck & Theo. Bliss. + +1852 + + + + + + + +PREFACE + + +The work which forms the basis of the present volume is one of the most +original and striking which has fallen under the notice of the editor. +The advice which it gives shows a remarkable knowledge of human +character, and insists on a very high standard of female excellence. +Instead of addressing herself indiscriminately to all young ladies, the +writer addresses herself to those whom she calls her "Unknown Friends," +that is to say, a class who, by natural disposition and education, are +prepared to be benefited by the advice which she offers. "Unless a +peculiarity of intellectual nature and habits constituted them friends," +she says in her preface, "though unknown ones, of the writer, most of +the observations contained in the following pages would be +uninteresting, many of them altogether unintelligible." + +She continues: "That advice is useless which is not founded upon a +knowledge of the character of those to whom it is addressed: even were +the attempt made to follow such advice, it could not be successful." + +"The writer has therefore neither hope nor wish of exercising any +influence over the minds of those who are not her 'Unknown Friends.' +There may, indeed, be a variety in the character of these friends; for +almost all the following Letters are addressed to different persons; but +the general intellectual features are always supposed to be the same, +however the moral ones may differ." + +"One word more must be added. All of the rules and systems recommended +in these Letters have borne the test of long-tried and extensive +experience. There is nothing new about them but their publication." + +The plan of the writer of the Letters enables her to give specific and +practical advice, applicable to particular cases, and entering into +lively details; whereas, a more general work would have compelled her to +confine herself to vague generalities, as inoperative as they are +commonplace. + +The intelligent reader will readily appreciate and cordially approve of +the writer's plan, as well as the happy style in which it is executed. + +To the "Letters to Unknown Friends" which are inserted entire, the +editor has added, as a suitable pendant, copious extracts from that +excellent work, "Woman's Mission," and some able papers by Lord Jeffrey, +the late accomplished editor of the Edinburgh Review. + +Thus composed, the editor submits the work to the fair readers of +America, trusting that it will be found a useful and unexceptionable +"Young Lady's Mentor." + + + + +Contents + +Contentment 7 + +Temper 31 + +Falsehood and Truthfulness 52 + +Envy 61 + +Selfishness and Unselfishness 74 + +Self-Control 93 + +Economy 117 + +The Cultivation of the Mind 137, 164 + +Amusements 193 + +The Influence of Women on Society 218 + +The Sphere of Woman's Influence 227 + +Education of Women 233 + +Love--Marriage 244 + +Literary Capabilities of Women 256 + +Ennui, and the Desire to be Fashionable 267 + +The Influence of Personal Character 270 + +On the Means of Securing Personal Influence 276 + + + + +LETTER I. + +CONTENTMENT. + + +It is, perhaps, only the young who can be very hopefully addressed on +the present subject. A few years hence, and your habits of mind will be +unalterably formed; a few years hence, and your struggle against a +discontented spirit, even should you be given grace to attempt it, would +be a perpetually wearisome and discouraging one. The penalty of past sin +will pursue you until the end, not only in the pain caused by a +discontented habit of mind, but also in the consciousness of its +exceeding sinfulness. + +Every thought that rebels against the law of God involves its own +punishment in itself, by contributing to the establishment of habits +that increase tenfold the difficulties to which a sinful nature exposes +us. + +Discontent is in this, perhaps, more dangerous than many other sins, +being far less tangible: unless we are in the constant habit of +exercising strict watchfulness over our thoughts, it is almost +insensibly that they acquire an habitual tendency to murmuring and +repining. + +This is particularly to be feared in a person of your disposition. Many +of your volatile, thoughtless, worldly-minded companions, destitute of +all your holier feelings, living without object or purpose in life, and +never referring to the law of God as a guide for thought or action, may +nevertheless manifest a much more contented disposition than your own, +and be apparently more submissive to the decision of your Creator as to +the station of life in which you have each been placed. + +To account for their apparent superiority over you on this point, it +must be remembered that it is one of the dangerous responsibilities +attendant on the best gifts of God,--that if not employed according to +his will, they turn to the disadvantage of the possessor. + +Your powers of reflection, your memory, your imagination, all calculated +to provide you with rich sources of gratification if exercised in proper +directions, will turn into curses instead of blessings if you do not +watchfully restrain that exercise within the sphere of duty. The natural +tendency of these faculties is, to employ themselves on forbidden +ground, for "every imagination of man's heart is evil continually." It +is thus that your powers of reflection may only serve to give you a +deeper and keener insight into the disadvantages of your position in +life; and trivial circumstances, unpleasant probabilities, never dwelt +on for a moment by the gay and thoughtless, will with you acquire a +serious and fatal importance, if you direct towards them those powers of +reasoning and concentrated thought which were given to you for far +different purposes. + +And while, on the one hand, your memory, if you allow it to acquire the +bad habits against which I am now warning you, will be perpetually +refreshing in your mind vivid pictures of past sorrows, wrongs, and +annoyances: your imagination, at the same time, will continually present +to you, under the most exaggerated forms, and in the most striking +colours, every possible unpleasantness that is likely to occur in the +future. You may thus create for yourself a life apart, quite distinct +from the real one, depriving yourself by wilful self-injury of the power +of enjoying whatever advantages, successes, and pleasures, your heavenly +Father may think it safe for you to possess. + +Happiness, as far as it can be obtained in the path of duty, is a duty +in itself, and an important one: without that degree of happiness which +most people may secure for themselves, independent of external +circumstances, neither health, nor energy, nor cheerfulness can be +forthcoming to help us through the task of our daily duties. + +It is indeed true, that, under the most favourable circumstances, the +thoughtful will never enjoy so much as others of that which is now +generally understood by the word happiness. Anxieties must intrude upon +them which others know nothing of: the necessary business of life, to be +as well executed as they ought to execute it, must at times force down +their thoughts to much that is painful for the present and anxious for +the future. They cannot forget the past, as the light-hearted do, or +life would bring them no improvement; but the same difficulties and +dangers would be rushed into heedlessly to-morrow, that were experienced +yesterday, and forgotten to-day; and not only past difficulties and +dangers are remembered, but sorrows too: these they cannot, for they +would not, forget. + +In the contemplation of the future also, they must exercise their +imagination as well as their reason, for the discovery of those evils +and dangers which such foresight may enable them to guard against: all +this kind of thoughtfulness is their wisdom as well as their instinct; +which makes it more difficult for them than it is for others to fulfil +the reverse side of the duty, and to "be careful for nothing."[1] + +To your strong mind, however, a difficulty will be a thing to be +overcome, and you may, if you only will it, be prudent and sagacious, +far-sighted and provident, without dwelling for a moment longer than +such duties require on the unpleasantnesses, past, present, and future, +of your lot in life. + +Having thus seen in what respects your superiority of mind is likely to +detract from your happiness, in the point of the colouring given by your +thoughts to your life, let us, on the other hand, consider how this same +superiority may be so directed as to make your thoughts contribute to +your happiness, instead of detracting from it. + +I spoke first of your reasoning powers. Let them not be exercised only +in discovering the dangers and disadvantages likely to attend your +peculiar position in life; let them rather be directed to discover the +advantages of those very features of your lot which are most opposed to +your natural inclinations. Consider, in the first place, what there may +be to reconcile you to the secluded life you so unwillingly lead. +Withdrawn, indeed, you are from society,--from the delightful +intercourse of refined and intellectual minds: you hear of such +enjoyments at a distance; you hear of their being freely granted to +those who cannot appreciate them as you could, (safely granted to them +for perhaps this very reason.) You have no opportunity of forming those +friendships, so earnestly desired by a young and enthusiastic mind; of +admiring, even at a reverential distance, "emperors of thought and +hand." But then, as a compensation, you ought to consider that you are, +at the same time, freed from those intrusions which wear away the time, +and the spirits, and the very powers of enjoyment, of those who are +placed in a more public position than your own. When you do, at rare +intervals, enjoy any intercourse with congenial minds, it has for you a +pleasurable excitement, a freshness of delight, which those who mix much +and habitually in literary and intellectual society have long ceased to +enjoy: while the powers of your own mind are preserving all that +originality and energy for which no intellectual experience can +compensate, you are saved the otherwise perhaps inevitable danger of +adopting, parrot-like, the tastes and opinions of others who may indeed +be your superiors, but who, in a copy, become wretchedly inferior to +your real self. Time you have, too, to cultivate your mind in such a +manner, and to such a degree, as may fit you to grace any society of +the kind I have described; while those who are early and constantly +engaged in this society are often obliged, from mere want of this +precious possession, to copy others, and resign all identity and +individuality. To you, nobly free as you are from the vice of envy, I +may venture to suggest another consideration, viz. the far greater +influence you possess in your present small sphere of intellectual +intercourse, than if you were mixed up with a crowd of others, most of +them your equals, many your superiors. + +If you have few opportunities of forming friendships, those few are +tenfold more valuable than many acquaintance, among a crowd of whom, +whatever merits you or they might possess, little time could be spared +to discover, or experimentally appreciate them. The one or two friends +whom you now love, and know yourself beloved by, might, in more exciting +and busy scenes, have gone on meeting you for years without discovering +the many bonds of sympathy which now unite you. In the seclusion you so +much deplore, they and you have been given time to "deliberate, choose, +and fix:" the conclusion of the poet will probably be equally +applicable,--you will "then abide till death."[2] Such friends are +possessions rare and valuable enough to make amends to you for any +sacrifices by which they have been acquired. + +Another of your grievances, one which presses the more heavily on those +of graceful tastes, refined habits, and generous impulses, is the very +small proportion of this world's goods which has fallen to your lot. +You are perpetually obliged to deny yourself in matters of taste, of +self-improvement, of charity. You cannot procure the books, the +paintings, you wish for--the instruction which you so earnestly desire, +and would so probably profit by. Above all, your eyes are pained by the +sight of distress you cannot relieve; and you are thus constantly +compelled to control and subdue the kindest and warmest impulses of your +generous nature. The moral benefits of this peculiar species of trial +belong to another part of my subject: the present object is to find out +the most favourable point of view in which to contemplate the +unpleasantness of your lot, merely with relation to your temporal +happiness. Look, then, around you; and, even in your own limited sphere +of observation, it cannot but strike you, that those who derive most +enjoyment from objects of taste, from books, paintings, &c., are exactly +those who are situated as you are, who cannot procure them at will. It +is certain that there is something in the difficulty of attainment which +adds much to the preciousness of the objects we desire; much, too, in +the rareness of their bestowal. When, after long waiting, and by means +of prudent management, it is at last within your power to make some +long-desired object your own, does it not bestow much greater pleasure +than it does on those who have only to wish and to have? + +In matters of charity this is still more strikingly true--the pleasure +of bestowing ease and comfort on the poor and distressed is enhanced +tenfold by the consciousness of having made some personal sacrifice for +its attainment. The rich, those who give of their superfluities, can +never fully appreciate what the pleasures of almsgiving really are. + +Experience teaches that the necessity of scrupulous economy is the very +best school in which those who are afterwards to be rich can be +educated. Riches always bring their own peculiar claims along with them; +and unless a correct estimate is early formed of the value of money and +the manner in which it can be laid out to the best advantage, you will +never enjoy the comforts and tranquillity which well-managed riches can +bestow. It is much to be doubted whether any one can skilfully manage +large possessions, unless, at some period or other of life, they have +forced themselves, or been forced, to exercise self-denial, and +resolutely given up all those expenses the indulgence of which would +have been imprudent. Those who indiscriminately gratify every taste for +expense the moment it is excited, can never experience the comforts of +competency, though they may have the name of wealth and the reality of +its accompanying cares. + +Still further, let your memory and imagination be here exercised to +assist in reconciling you to your present lot. Can you not remember a +time when you wanted money still more than you do now?--when you had a +still greater difficulty in obtaining the things you reasonably desire? +To those who have acquired the art of contentment, the present will +always seem to have some compensating advantage over the past, however +brighter that past may appear to others. This valuable art will bring +every hidden object gradually into light, as the dawning day seems to +waken into existence those objects which had before been unnoticed in +the darkness. + +Lastly, your imagination, well employed, will make use of your partial +knowledge of other people's affairs to picture to you how much worse off +many of those are,--how much worse off you might yourself be. You, for +instance, can still accomplish much by the aid of self-denial; while +many, with hearts as warm in charities, as overflowing as your own, have +not more to give than the "cup of cold water," that word of mercy and +consolation. + +You may still further, perhaps, complain that you have no object of +exciting interest to engage your attention, and develop your powers of +labour, and endurance, and cleverness. Never has this trial been more +vividly described than in the well-remembered lines of a modern poet:-- + + "She was active, stirring, all fire-- + Could not rest, could not tire-- + To a stone she had given life! + --For a shepherd's, miner's, huntsman's wife, + Never in all the world such a one! + And here was plenty to be done, + And she that could do it, great or small, + She was to do nothing at all."[3] + +This wish for occupation, for influence, for power even, is not only +right in itself, but the unvarying accompaniment of the consciousness of +high capabilities. It may, however, be intended that these cravings +should be satisfied in a different way, and at a different time, from +that which your earthly thoughts are now desiring. It may be that the +very excellence of the office for which you are finally destined +requires a greater length of preparation than that needful for ordinary +duties and ordinary trials. At present, you are resting in peace, +without any anxious cares or difficult responsibilities, but you know +not how soon the time may come that will call forth and strain to the +utmost your energies of both mind and body. You should anxiously make +use of the present interval of repose for preparation, by maturing your +prudence, strengthening your decision, acquiring control over your own +temper and your own feelings, and thus fitting yourself to control +others. + +Or are you, on the contrary, wasting the precious present time in vain +repinings, in murmurings that weaken both mind and body, so that when +the hour of trial comes you will be entirely unfitted to realize the +beautiful ideal of the poet?-- + + "A perfect woman, nobly plann'd + To warn, to counsel, to command: + The reason firm, the temperate will, + Endurance, foresight, strength, and skill."[4] + +Then, again, I would ask you to make use of your powers of reflection +and memory. Reflect what trials and difficulties are, in the common +course of events, likely to assail you; remember former difficulties, +former days or weeks of trial, when all your now dormant energies were +developed and strained to the utmost. You felt then the need of much +greater powers of mind and body than those which you now complain are +lying dormant and useless. Further imagine the future cases that may +occur in which every natural and acquired faculty may be employed for +the great advantage of those who are dear to you, and when you will +experience that this long interval of repose and preparation was +altogether needful. + +Such reflections, memories, and imaginations must, however, be carefully +guarded, lest, instead of reconciling you to the apparent uselessness of +your present life, they should contribute to increase your discontent. +This they might easily do, even though such reflections and memories +related only to trials and difficulties, instead of contemplating the +pleasures and the importance of responsibilities. To an ardent nature +like yours, trials themselves, even severe ones, which would exercise +the powers of your mind and the energies of your character, would be +more welcome than the tame, uniform life you at present lead. + +The considerations above recommended can, therefore, be only safely +indulged in connection with, and secondary to, a most vigilant and +conscientious examination into the truth of one of your principal +complaints, viz. that you have to do, like the Duke's wife, "nothing at +all."[5] You may be "seeking great things" to do, and consequently +neglecting those small charities which "soothe, and heal, and bless." +Listen to the words of a great teacher of our own day: "The situation +that has not duty, its _ideal_, was never yet occupied by man. Yes, +here, in this poor, miserable, pampered, despised actual, wherein thou +even now standest, here, or nowhere, is thy _ideal_; work it out, +therefore, and, working, believe, live, be free. Fool! the ideal is in +thyself; the impediment, too, is in thyself: thy condition is but the +stuff thou art to shape that same ideal out of--what matters whether the +stuff be of this sort or of that, so the form thou give it be heroic, be +poetic? O thou that pinest in the imprisonment of the actual, and criest +bitterly to the gods for a kingdom wherein to rule and create, know this +of a truth,--the thing thou seekest is already with thee, 'here, or +nowhere,' couldst thou only see." + +When you examine the above assertions by the light of Scripture, can you +contradict their truth? + +Let us, however, ascend to a still higher point of view. Have we not +all, under every imaginable circumstance, a work mighty and difficult +enough to develope our strongest energies, to engage our deepest +interests? Have we not all to "work out our own salvation with fear and +trembling?"[6] Professing to believe, as we do, that the discipline of +every day is ordered by Infinite Love and Infinite Wisdom, so as best to +assist us in this awfully important task, can we justly complain of any +mental void, of any inadequacy of occupation, in any of the situations +of life? + +The only work that can fully satisfy an immortal spirit's cravings for +excitement is the work appointed for each of us. It is one, too, that +has no intervals of repose, far less of languor or _ennui_; the labour +it demands ought never to cease, the intense and engrossing interest it +excites can never vary or lessen in importance. The alternative is a +more awful one than human mind can yet conceive: those who have not +fulfilled their appointed work, those who have not, through the merits +of Christ, obtained the "holiness without which no man shall see the +Lord,"[7] "must depart into everlasting fire prepared for the devil and +his angels."[8] + +With a hell to avoid, and a heaven to obtain, do you murmur for want of +interest, of occupation! + +In the words of the old story, "Look below on the earth, and then above +in heaven:" remember that your only business here is to get there; then, +instead of repining, you will be thankful that no great temporal work is +given you to do which might, as too often happens, distract your +attention and your labours from the attainment of life eternal. Having +been once convinced of the awful and engrossing importance of this "one +thing" we have to "do,"[9] you will see more easily how many minor +duties may be appointed you to fulfil, on a path that before seemed a +useless as well as an uninteresting one. For you would have now learned +to estimate the small details of daily life, not according to their +insignificance, not as they may influence your worldly fate, but as they +may have a tendency to mould your spirit into closer conformity to the +image of the Son.[10] You will now no longer inquire whether you have +any work to do which you might yourself consider suitable to your +capabilities and energies; but whether there is within your reach any, +the smallest, humblest work of love, contemned or unobserved before, +when you were more proud and less vigilant. + +Look, then, with prayer and watchfulness into all the details of your +daily life, and you will assuredly find much formerly-unnoticed "stuff," +out of which "your ideal" may be wrought. + +You may, for instance, have no opportunity of teaching on an enlarged +scale, or even of taking a class at a Sunday-school, or of instructing +any of your poor neighbours in reading or in the word of God. Such +labours of love may, it is possible, though not probable, be shut out of +your reach: if, however, you are on the watch for opportunities, (and we +are best made quick-sighted to their occurrence in the course of the +day, by the morning's earnest prayer for their being granted to us,) you +may be able to help your fellow-pilgrims Zion-ward in a variety of small +ways. "A word in season, how good is it!" the mere expression of +religious sympathy has often cheered and refreshed the weary traveller +on his perhaps difficult and lonely way. A verse of Scripture, a hymn +taught to a child, only the visitor of a day, has often been blessed by +God to the great spiritual profit of the child so taught. Are not even +such small works of love within your reach? + +Again, with respect to family duties, I know that in some cases, when +there are many to fulfil such duties, it is a more necessary and often a +more difficult task to refrain altogether from interfering in them. They +ought to be allowed to serve as a safety-valve for the energies of those +members of the family who have no other occupations: of these there will +always be some in a large domestic circle. Without, however, +interfering actively and habitually, which it may not be your duty to +do, are you always ready to help when you are asked, and to take trouble +willingly upon yourself, when the excitement and the credit of the +arrangement will belong exclusively to others? This is a good sign of +the humility and lovingness of your spirit: how is the test borne? + +Further, you may complain that your conversation is not valued, and that +therefore you have no excitement to exertion for the amusement of +others; that your cheerfulness and good temper under sorrows and +annoyances are of no consequence, as you are not considered of +sufficient importance for any display of feeling to attract attention. +When I hear such complaints, and they are not unfrequent from the +younger members of large families, I have little doubt that the sting in +all these murmurs is infixed by their pride. They assure me, at the same +time, that if there was any one to care much about it, to watch +anxiously whether they were vexed or pleased, they would be able to +exercise the strictest control over their feelings and temper,--and I +believe it, for here their pride and their affection would both come to +the assistance of duty. What God requires of us, however, is its +fulfilment when all these things are against us. The effort to control +grief, to conceal depression, to conquer ill-temper, will be a far more +acceptable offering in his eyes, when they alone are expected to witness +it. That which now his eyes alone see will one day be proclaimed upon +the housetop.[11] + +I must, besides, remind you that your proud spirit may deceive you when +it suggests, that because your sadness or your ill-humour attracts no +expressed notice or excites no efforts to remove it, it does not +therefore affect those around you. This is not the case; even the gloom +and ill-humour of a servant, who only remains a few minutes in +attendance, will be depressing and annoying to the most unobservant +master and mistress, though they might make no efforts to remove it. How +much more, then, may your want of cheerfulness and sweet temper affect, +though it may be insensibly, the peace of your family circle. Here you +are again seeking great things for yourself, and neglecting your +appointed work, because it does not to you appear sufficiently worthy of +your high capabilities. Your proud spirit needs being humbled, and +therefore, probably, it is that you will not be allowed to do great +things. No, you must first learn the less agreeable task of doing small +things, of doing what would perhaps be called easy things by those who +have never tried them. To wear a contented look when you know that, +perhaps, the effort will not be observed, certainly not appreciated,--to +take submissively the humblest part in the conversation, and still bear +cheerfully that part,--to bear with patience every hasty word that may +be spoken, and so to forget it that your future conduct may be +uninfluenced by it,--to remove every difficulty, the removal of which is +within your reach, without expecting that the part you have taken will +be acknowledged or even observed,--to be always ready with your +sympathy, encouragement, and counsel, however scornfully they may have +before been rejected; these are all acts of self-renunciation which are +peculiarly fitted to a woman's sphere of duty, and have a direct +tendency to cherish the difficult and excellent grace of humility; they +may, however, help to foster rather than to subdue a spirit of +discontent, if they are performed from a motive of obtaining any, even +the most exalted, human approbation. They must be done to God alone, and +then the promise is sure, "thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward +thee openly."[12] Thus, too, the art of contentment may be much more +easily learnt. Disappointment will surely sour your temper if you look +forward to human appreciation of a self-denying habit of life; but when +the approbation of God is the object sought for, no neglect from others +can excite discontent or much regret. For here there can be no +disappointment: that which comes to us through the day has all been +decreed by him, and as it must therefore give us opportunities of +fulfilling his will, and gaining his approbation, we must necessarily +"be content." + +It must, indeed, be always owing to some deficiency in religious +principle, that one discontented thought is suffered to dwell in the +mind. If our heart and our treasure were in heaven,[13] should we be +easily excited to regret and irritation about the inconveniences of our +position on earth? If we sought "first the kingdom of God and his +righteousness,"[14] should we have so much energy remaining to waste on +petty worldly annoyances? If we obeyed the injunction, "have faith in +God," should we daily and hourly, by our sinful murmuring, imply such +doubts of the divine attributes of wisdom, love, and power? This is a +want of faith you do not manifest towards men. You would trust yourself +fearlessly to the care of some earthly physician; you would believe that +he understood how to adapt his strengthening or lowering remedies to +each varying feature of your case; you would even provide yourself with +remedies, which, on the faith of his skill, you would trustingly use to +meet every symptom that might arise on future occasions. But when the +Great Physician manifests a still greater watchfulness to adapt his +daily discipline to your varying temper and the different stages of your +Christian growth, you murmur--you believe not in his wisdom as you do in +that of the sons of earth. + +Do not, then, take his wisdom on faith alone; you must indeed believe, +you must believe or perish; but it may be as yet too difficult a lesson +for you to believe against sense, against feeling. What I would urge +upon you is, to strengthen your weak faith by the lessons of experience, +to seek anxiously, and to pray to be enabled to see distinctly, the +peculiar manner in which each trial of your daily lot is adapted to your +own individual case. + +I do not speak now of great trials, of such afflictions as crush the +sufferer in the dust. When the hand of God is so plainly seen, it is +comparatively easy to submit, and his Holy Spirit, ever fulfilling the +promise "as thy day is, so shall thy strength be,"[15] sometimes makes +the riven heart strong to bear that which, in prospective, it dares not +even contemplate. You, however, have had no trial of this nature; yours +are the petty irritations, the small vexations which "smart more because +they hold in Holy Writ no place."[16] Even at more peaceful times, when +you can contemplate with resignation the general features of your lot in +life, you cannot subdue your spirit to patience under the hourly varying +annoyances and temptations with which you are beset. The peculiar +sensitiveness of your disposition, your affectionate, generous nature, +your refinement of mind, and quick tact, all expose you to suffer more +severely than others from the selfishness, the coarse-mindedness, the +bluntness of perception of those around you. You often say, in the +bitterness of your heart, Any other trial but this I could have borne; +every other chastisement would have been light in comparison. But why +have you so little faith? Why do you not see that it is because all +these petty trials are so severe to you, therefore are they sent? All +these amiable qualities that I have enumerated, and the love which they +win for you, would make you admire and value yourself too much, unless +your system were reduced, so to speak, by a series of petty but +continued annoyances. As I said before, you must seek to strengthen your +faith by tracing the close connection between these annoyances and the +"needs be" for them. It is probably exactly at the time when you are too +much elated by praise and admiration that you are sent some +counterbalancing annoyance, or perhaps suffered to fall into some fault +of temper which will lessen you in your own eyes, as well as in those of +others. You are often troubled by some annoyance, too, when you have +blamed others for being too easily overcome by an annoyance of the very +same kind. "Stand upon" an anxious "watch," and you will see how +constantly severe judgments of others are punished by falling ourselves +into temptations similar to those which we had treated as light ones +when sitting in judgment upon others. If you would acquire the habit of +exercising faith with respect to the smallest details of your every-day +life, by such faith the light itself might be won, and your eyes be +opened to see how wondrously all things, even those which appear the +most needlessly worrying, are made to work together for your good.[17] +These are, however, but the first lessons in the school of faith, the +first steps on the road which leads to "rest in God." + +Severer trials are hastening onward, for which your present petty trials +are serving as a preparatory discipline. According to the manner in +which these are met and supported, will be your patience in the hour of +deep darkness and bitter desolation. Waste not one of your present petty +sorrows: let them all, by the help of prayer, and watchfulness, and +self-control, work their appointed work in your soul. Let them lead you +each day more and more trustingly to "cast all your care upon Him who +careth for you."[18] In the present hours of tranquillity and calm, let +the light and infrequent storms, the passing clouds that disturb your +peace, serve as warnings to you to find a sure refuge before the clouds +of affliction become so heavy, and its storms so violent, that there +will be no power of seeking a haven of security. That must be sought and +found in seasons of comparative peace. Though the agonized soul may +finally, through the waves of sorrow, make its way into the ark, its +long previous struggles, and its after harrowing doubts and fears, will +shatter it nearly to pieces before it finds a final refuge. It may, +indeed, by the free grace of God, be saved at the last, but during the +remainder of its earthly pilgrimage there is no hope for it of joy and +peace in believing. + +But when the hour of earthly desolation comes to those who have long +acknowledged the special providence of God in "all the dreary +intercourse of daily life," "they knew in whom they have believed,"[19] +and no storms can shake that faith. They know from experience that all +things work together for good to them that love God. In the loving, +child-like confidence of long-tried and now perfecting faith, they are +enabled to say from the depths of their heart, "It is the Lord, let him +do what seemeth him good."[20] They seek not now to ascertain the "needs +be" for this particular trial. It might harrow up their human heart too +much to trace the details of sorrows such as these, in the manner in +which they formerly examined into the details of those of daily life. +"It is the Lord;" these words alone not only still all complaining, but +fill the soul with a depth of peace never experienced by the believer +until all happiness is withdrawn but that which comes direct from God. +"It is the Lord," who died that we might live, and can we murmur even +if we dared? No; the love of Christ constrains us to cast ourselves at +his feet, not only in submission, but in grateful adoration. It is +through his redeeming love that "our light affliction, which is but for +a moment, will work for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of +glory." + +Even the very depth of mystery which may attend the sorrowful +dispensation, will only draw forth a stronger manifestation of the +Christian's faith and love. She will be enabled to rejoice that God does +not allow her to see even one reason for the stroke that lays low all +her earthly happiness; as thus only, perhaps, can she experience all the +fulness of peace that accompanies an unquestioning trust in the wisdom +and love of his decrees. For such unquestioning trust, however, there +must be a long and diligent preparation: it is not the growth of days or +weeks; yet, unless it is begun even this very day, it may never be begun +at all. The practice of daily contentment is the only means of finally +attaining to Christian resignation. + +I do not appeal to you for the necessity of immediate action, because +this day may be your last. I do not exhort you "to live as if this day +were the whole of life, and not a part or section of it,"[21] because it +may, in fact, be the whole of life to you. It may be so, but it is not +probable, and when you have certainties to guide you, they are better +excitements to immediate action than the most solemn possibilities. + +The certainty to which I now appeal is, that every duty I have been +urging upon you will be much easier to you to-day than it would be, even +so soon as to-morrow. One hour's longer indulgence of a discontented +spirit, of rebellious and murmuring thoughts, will stamp on your mind an +impression, which, however slight it may be, will entail upon you a +lifelong struggle against it. Every indulged thought becomes a part of +ourselves: you have the awful freedom of will to make yourself what you +will to be. "Resist the devil, and he will flee from you,"[22] "Quench" +the Spirit[23] and the holy flame will never be rekindled. Kneel, then, +before God, even now, to pray that you may be enabled to will aright. + +Before you opened these pages, some of your daily irritations were +probably preying on your mind. You have often, perhaps, recurred to the +annoyance, whatever it may be, while you read on and on. Make this +annoyance your first opportunity of victory, the first step in the path +of contentment. Pray to an ever-present God, that he may open your eyes +to see how large may have been the portion of blame to yourself in the +annoyance you complain of,--in how far it may be the due and inevitable +chastisement of some former sin; how, finally, it may turn to your +present profit, by giving you a keener insight into the evils of your +own heart, and a more indulgent view of the often imaginary wrongs of +others towards you. + +Let not this trial be lost to you; by faith and prayer, this cloud may +rain down blessings upon you. The annoyance from which you are suffering +may be a small one, casting but a temporary shadow, even like the + + "Cloud passing over the moon; + 'Tis passing, and 'twill pass full soon."[24] + +But ere that shadow has passed away, your fate may be as decided as that +of the renegade in poetic fiction. During the time this cloud has rested +upon you, the first link of an interminable chain of habits, for good or +for ill, may have been fastened around you. Who can tell what "Now" it +is that "is the accepted time?" We know from Scripture that there is +this awful period, and your present temptation to murmuring and +rebellion against the will of God (for it is still his will, though it +may be manifested through a created instrument) may be to you that +"Now." Pray earnestly before you decide what use you will make of it. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[1] Phil. iv. 6. + +[2] Young's Night Thoughts. + +[3] "The Flight of the Duchess." Browning. + +[4] Wordsworth. + +[5] See page 15. + +[6] Phil. ii. 12. + +[7] Heb. xii. 14. + +[8] Matt. xxv. 41. + +[9] Phil. iii. 13. + +[10] Rom. viii. 29. + +[11] Luke xii. 3. + +[12] Matt. vi. 18. + +[13] Matt. vi. 20, 21. + +[14] Matt. vi. 33. + +[15] Deut. xxxiii. 25. + +[16] Lyra Apostolica. + +[17] Rom. viii. 28. + +[18] 1 Pet. v. 7. + +[19] 2 Tim. i. 12. + +[20] 1 Sam. iii. 18. + +[21] Jean Paul Richter. + +[22] 1 Pet. v. 8, 9. + +[23] Thess. v. 19. + +[24] The Siege of Corinth. + + + + +LETTER II. + +TEMPER. + + +The subject proposed for consideration in the following letter has been +already treated of in perhaps all the different modes of which it +appears susceptible. Every religious and moral motive has been urged +upon the victim of ill-temper, and it is scarcely necessary to add that +each has, in its turn, been urged in vain. This failing of the character +comes gradually to be considered as one over which the rational will has +no control; it is even supposed possible that a Christian may grow in +grace and in the knowledge of the Saviour while the vice of ill-temper +is still flourishing triumphantly. + +It is, indeed, a certain fact that, unless the temper itself is +specially controlled, and specially watched over, it may deteriorate +even when the character in other respects improves; for the habit of +defeat weakens the exercise of the will in this particular direction, +and gradually diminishes the hope or the effort of acquiring a victory +over the indulged failing. It is a melancholy consideration, if it be, +as I believe, really the case, that a Christian may increase in love to +God and man, while at the same time perpetually inflicting severe wounds +on the peace and happiness of those who are nearest and dearest to her. +Worse than all, she is, by such conduct, wounding the Saviour "in the +house of his friends,"[25] bringing disgrace and ridicule upon the Holy +Name by which she is called. + +In the compatibility which is often tacitly inferred between a bad +temper and a religious course of life, there seems to be an instinctive +recognition of this peculiar vice being so much the necessary result of +physical organization, that the motives proving effectual against other +sins are ineffectual for the extirpation of this. Perhaps, if this +recognition were distinct, and the details of it better understood, a +new and more successful means might be made use of to effect the cure of +ill-temper. + +As an encouragement to this undertaking, there can be no doubt, from +some striking instances within your own knowledge, that there are +certain means by which, if they could only be discovered, the vice in +question may be completely subdued. Even among heathen nations, we know +that the art of self-control was so well understood, and so successfully +practised, that Plato, Socrates, and other philosophers were able to +bring their naturally fiery and violent tempers into complete subjection +to their will. Can it be that this secret has been lost along with the +other mysteries of those distant times, that the mode of controlling the +temper is now as undiscoverable as the manner of preparing the Tyrian +dye and other forgotten arts? It is surely a disgrace to those cowardly +Christians who, having in addition to all the natural powers of the +heathen moralist the freely-offered grace of God to work with them and +in them, should still walk so unworthy of the high vocation wherewith +they are called, as to shrink hopelessly from a moral competition with +the ignorant worshippers of old. + +My sister, these things ought not so to be; you feel they ought not, yet +day after day you break through the resolutions formed in your calmer +moments, and repeat, probably increase, your manifestations of +uncontrolled ill-temper. This is not yet, however, in your case, a +wilful sin; you still mourn bitterly over the shame to yourself and the +annoyance to others caused by the indulgence of your ill-temper. You are +also painfully alive to the doubts which your conduct excites in the +mind of your more worldly associates as to the reality of a vital and +transforming efficacy in religion. You feel that you are not only +disobeying God yourself, but that you are providing others with excuses +for disobeying him, and with examples of disobedience. You mourn over +these considerations in bitterness of heart; you even pray for strength +to resist this, your besetting sin, and then--you leave your room, and +fall into the same sin on the very first opportunity. + +If, however, prayer itself does not prove an effectual safeguard from +persistence in sin, you will ask what other means can be hopefully +employed. None--none whatever; that from which real prayer cannot +preserve us is an inevitable misfortune. But think you that any kind of +sin can be among those misfortunes that cannot be avoided? No, my +friend: "He is able to succour them that are tempted;"[26] and we are +also assured that He is willing. Cease, then, from accusing the +All-merciful, even by implication, of being the cause of your continuing +in sin, and examine carefully into the nature of those prayers which you +complain have never been answered. The Scripture reason for such +disappointments is clearly and distinctly given: "Ye ask and receive +not, because ye ask amiss."[27] Examine, then, in the first place, +whether you yourself are asking "amiss?" What is your primary motive for +desiring the removal of this besetting sin? Is it the consideration of +its being so hateful in the sight of God, of its being injurious to the +cause of religion? or is it not rather because you feel that it makes +you unloveable to those around you, and inflicts pain on those who are +very dear to you, at the same time lessening your own dignity and +wounding your self-respect? These are all proper and allowable motives +of action while kept in their subordinate place; but if they become the +primary actuating principle, instead of a conscientious hatred of sin +because it is the abominable thing that God hates,[28] if pleasing man +be your chief object, you have no reason to complain that your prayers +are unanswered. The word of God has told you that it must be so. You +have asked "amiss." There is also a secondary sense in which we may "ask +amiss:" when we pray without corresponding effort. Some worthy people +think that prayer alone is to obtain for them all the benefits they can +desire, and that the influences of the Holy Spirit will, unassisted by +human effort, produce a transforming change in the temper and the +conduct. This they call magnifying the grace of God, as if it could be +supposed that his gracious help would ever be granted for the purpose of +slackening, instead of encouraging and exciting, our own exertions. Do +not the Scriptures abound in exhortations, warnings, and threatenings on +the subject of individual watchfulness, diligence, and unceasing +conflicts? "To the law and to the testimony, if they speak not according +to this word, it is because there is no light in them."[29] Perhaps you +have prayed under the mental delusion I have above described; you have +expected the work should be done _for_ you, instead of _with_ you; that +the constraining love of Christ would constrain you necessarily to +abandon your sinful habits, while, in fact, its efficacy consists in +constraining you to carry on a perpetual struggle against them. + +Look through the day that is past, or watch yourself through that which +is to come, and observe whether any violent conflict takes place in your +mind whenever you are tempted to sin. I fear, on the contrary, that you +expect the efficacy of your prayers to be displayed in preserving you +from any painful conflict whatever. It is strange, most strange, how +generally this perversion of mind appears practically to exist. +Notwithstanding all the opposing assertions of the Bible, people imagine +that the Christian's life, after conversion, is to be one of freedom +from temptation and from all internal struggles. The contrary fact is, +that they only really begin when we ourselves begin the Christian course +with earnestness and sincerity. + +If you would possess the safety of preparation, you must look out for +and expect constant temptations and perpetual conflicts. By such means +alone can your character be gradually forming into "a meetness for the +inheritance of the saints in light."[30] Whenever your conflicts cease, +you will enter into your glorious rest. You will not be kept in a world +of sin and sorrow one moment after that in which you have attained to +sufficient Christian perfection to qualify you for a safe freedom from +trials and temptations: but as long as you remain in a temporal school +of discipline, "your only safety is to feel the stretch and energy of a +continual strife."[31] + +If I have been at all successful in my endeavours to alter your views of +the _manner_ in which you are first to set about acquiring a permanent +victory over your besetting sin, you will be the more inclined to bestow +your attention on the means which I am now going to recommend for your +consequent adoption. They have been often tried and proved effectual: +experience is their chief recommendation. They may indeed startle some +pious minds, as seeming to encroach too far on what they think ought to +be the unassisted work of the Spirit upon the human character; but you +are too intelligent to allow such assertions, unfounded as they are on +Scripture, to prove much longer a stumbling-block in your way. I would +first of all recommend to you a very strict inquiry into the nature of +the things that affect your temper, so that you may be for the future on +your guard to avoid them, as far as lies in your power. Avoidance is +always the safest plan when it involves no deviation from the +straightforward path of duty; and there will be enough of inevitable +conflicts left, to keep up the habits of self-control and watchfulness. +Indeed, the avoidance which I recommend to you involves in itself the +necessity of so much vigilance, that it will help to prepare you for +measures of more active resistance. On this principle, then, you will +shrink from every species of discussion, on either practical or abstract +subjects, which is likely to excite you beyond control, and disable you +from bearing with gentleness and calmness the triumph, either real or +imaginary, of your opponent. The time will come, I trust, when no +subject need be forbidden to you on these grounds, but at present you +must submit to an invalid regimen, and shun every thing that has even a +tendency to excitement. + +This system of avoidance is of the more importance, because every time +your ill-temper acquires the mastery over you, its strength is tenfold +increased for the next conflict, at the same time that your hopes of the +power of resistance, afforded either by your own will or by the +assisting grace of God, are of course weakened. You find, at each fall +before the power of sin, a greater difficulty in exercising faith in +either human or divine means of improvement. You do not, indeed, doubt +the power of God, but a disbelief steals over you which has equally +fatal tendencies. You allow yourself to indulge vague doubts of his +willingness to help you, or a suspicion insinuates itself that the God +whom you so anxiously try to please would not allow you to fall so +constantly into error, if this error were of a very heinous nature. You +should be careful to shun any course of conduct possibly suggestive of +such dangerous doubts. You should seek to establish in your mind the +habitual conviction that, victory being placed by God within your reach, +you must conquer or perish! None but those who by obedience prove +themselves children of God, shall inherit the kingdom prepared for them +from the foundation of the world.[32] + +I have spoken of the vigilance and self-control required for the +avoidance of every discussion on exciting subjects; but this difficulty +is small indeed when compared with those unexpected assaults on the +temper which we are exposed to at every hour of the day. It is to meet +these with Christian heroism that the constant exertion of all our +inherent and imparted powers is perpetually required. Every device that +ingenuity can suggest, every practice that others have by experience +found successful, is at least worth the trial. One plan of resistance +suits one turn of mind; an entirely opposite one proves more useful for +another. To you I should more especially recommend the habitual +consideration that every trial of temper throughout the day is an +opportunity for conflict and for victory. Think, then, of every such +trial as an occasion of triumphing over your animal nature, and of +increasing the dominion of your rational will over the opposing +temptations of "the world, the flesh, and the devil." Consider each +vexatious annoyance as coming, through human instruments, from the hand +of God himself, and as an opportunity offered by his love and his wisdom +for strengthening your character and bringing your will into closer +conformity with his. You should cultivate the general habit of +considering every trial in this peculiar point of view; thinking over +the subject in your quiet hours especially, that you may thus have your +spirit prepared for moments of unexpected excitement. + +To a person of your reflective turn of mind, the prudent management of +the thoughts is one of the principal means towards the proper government +of the temper. As some insects assume the colour of the plant they feed +on, so do the thoughts on which the mind habitually nourishes itself +impart their own peculiar colouring to the mental and moral +constitution. On your thoughts, when you are alone, when you wander +through the fields, or by the roadside, or sit at your work in useful +hours of solitude, depends very much the spirit you are of when you +again enter into society. If, for instance, you think over the trials of +temper which you are inevitably exposed to during the day as indications +of the unkindness of your fellow-creatures, you will not fail to +exaggerate mere trifles into serious offences, and will prepare a sore +place, as it were, in your mind, to which the slightest touch must give +pain. On the contrary, if you forcibly withdraw yourself from any +thought respecting the human instrument that has inflicted the wounds +from which you suffer or are likely to suffer,--if you look upon the +annoyance only as an opportunity of improvement and a message of mercy +from God himself,--you will then gradually get rid of all mental +irritation, and feel nothing but pity for your tormentors, feeling that +you have in reality been benefited instead of injured. When you have +acquired greater power of controlling your thoughts, it will be +serviceable to you to think over all the details of the annoyance from +which you are suffering, and to consider all the extenuating +circumstances of the case; to imagine (this will be good use to make of +your vivid imagination) what painful chord you may have unconsciously +struck, what circumstances may possibly have led the person who annoys +you to suppose that the provocation originated with yourself instead of +with her. It may be possible that some innocent words of yours may have +appeared to her as cutting insinuations or taunts, referring to some +former painful circumstance, forgotten or unknown by you, but +sorrowfully remembered by her, or a wilful contradiction of her known +opinion and known wishes, for mere contradiction's sake. + +By the time you have turned over in your mind all these possible or +probable circumstances, you will generally see that the person offending +may really be not so much (if at all) to blame; and then the candid and +generous feelings of your nature will convert your anger into regret for +the pain you have unintentionally inflicted. I do not, however, +recommend you to venture upon this practice _yet_. Under present +circumstances, any indulged reflection upon the minute features of the +offence, and the possible feelings of the offender, will be more likely +to increase your irritation than to subdue it; you will not be able to +view your own case through an unprejudiced medium, until you have +acquired the power of compelling your thoughts to dwell on those +features only of an annoyance which may tend to soften your feelings, +while you avoid all such as may irritate them. + +A much lower stage of self-control, and one in which you may immediately +begin to exercise yourself, is the prevention of your thoughts from +dwelling for one moment on any offence against you, looking upon such +offence in this point of view alone, that it is one of those +divinely-sent opportunities of Christian warfare without which you could +make no advance in the spiritual life. The consideration of the subject +of temper, as connected with habits of thought, on which I have dwelt so +long and in so much detail, is of the greatest importance. It is +absolutely impossible that you can exercise control over your temper, or +charitable and forgiving feelings toward those around you, if you suffer +your mind to dwell on what you consider their faults and your own +injuries. Are you, however, really aware that you are in the habit of +indulging such thoughts? I doubt it. Few people observe the direction in +which their thoughts are habitually exercised until they have practised +for some little time strict watchfulness over those shadowy and fleeting +things upon which most of the realities of life depend. Watch yourself, +therefore, I entreat you, even during this one day. I ask only for one +day, because I know that, in a character like yours, such an +examination, once begun in all earnestness, will only cease with life. +It is of sins of ignorance and carelessness alone that I accuse you; not +of wilfully harbouring malicious and revengeful thoughts. You have +never, probably, observed their existence: how, then, could you be aware +of their tendency? Perhaps the following illustration may serve to +suggest to you proofs of the danger of the practice I have been warning +you against. If one of your acquaintance had offended another, you would +feel no doubt as to the sinfulness and the cruelty to both of dwelling +on all the aggravating circumstances of the offence, until the temper of +the offended one was thoroughly roused and exasperated, though, before +the interference of a third person, the subject may have been passed +over unnoticed. Is not this the very process you are continually +carrying on in your own mind, to your own injury, indeed, far more than +to any one else's? These habits of thought must be altered, or no other +measures of self-control can prosper with you, though, in connection +with this primary one, many others must be adopted. + +One practice that has been found beneficial is that of offering up a +short prayer, even as your hand is upon the door which is to admit you +into family intercourse, an intercourse which, more than any other, +involves duties and responsibilities as well as privileges and +pleasures. This practice could insure your never entering upon a scene +of trial, without having the subject of difficulty brought vividly +before your mind. David's prayer--"Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; +keep the door of my lips"[33]--would be very well suited to such +occasions as these. This prayer would, at the same time, bring you down +help from Heaven, and, by putting you on your guard, rouse your own +energies to brave any temptation that may await you. + +There is another plan which has often been tried with success,--that of +repeating the Lord's prayer deliberately through to oneself, before +venturing to utter one word aloud on any occasion that excites the +temper. The spirit of this practice is highly commendable, as, there +being no direct petition against the sin of ill-temper, it is +principally by elevating the spirit "into a higher moral atmosphere," +that the experiment is expected to be successful. You will find that a +scrupulous politeness towards the members of your family, and towards +servants, will be a great help in preserving your temper through the +trials of domestic intercourse. You are very seldom even tempted to +indulge in irritable answers, impatient interruptions, abrupt +contradictions, while in the society of strangers. The reason of this is +that the indulgence of your temper on such occasions would oblige you to +break through the chains of early and confirmed habits From infancy +those habits have been forming, and they impel you almost unconsciously +to subdue even the very tones of your voice, while strangers are +present. Have you not sometimes in the middle of an irritable +observation caught yourself changing and softening the harsh +uncontrolled tones of your voice, or the roughness of your manner, when +you have discovered the unexpected presence of a stranger in the family +circle? You have still enough of self-respect to feel deep shame when +such things have happened; and the very moment when you are suffering +from these feelings of shame is that in which you ought to form, and +begin to execute, resolutions of future amendment. While under the +influence of regretful excitement, you will have the more strength to +break through the chains of your old habits, and to begin to form new +ones. If the same courtesy, which until now you have only observed +towards strangers, were habitually exercised towards the members of your +domestic circle, it would, in time, become as difficult to break through +the forms of politeness by indulging ill-temper towards them, as towards +strangers or mere acquaintance. + +This is a point I wish to urge on you, even more strongly with regard to +servants. There is great meanness in any display of ill-temper towards +those who will probably lose their place and their character, if they +are tempted by your provocation (and without your restraints of +good-breeding and good education) to the same display of ill-temper that +you yourself are guilty of. On the other hand, there is no better +evidence of dignity, self-respect, and refined generosity of +disposition, than a scrupulous politeness in requiring and requiting +those services for which the low-minded imagine that their money is a +sufficient payment. You will not alone receive as a recompense the love +and the grateful respect of those who serve you, but you will also be +forming habits which will offer a powerful resistance to the temptations +of ill-humour. + +You will not surely object to any of the precautions or the practices +recommended above, that they are too trifling or too troublesome; you +have suffered so much from your besetting sin, that I can suppose you +willing to try every possible means of cure. + +You should, however, to strengthen your desire of resistance and of +victory, look much further than the unpleasant consequences of +ill-temper in your own case alone. You are still young, life has gone +prosperously with you, the present is fair and smiling, and the future +full of bright hopes; you have, comparatively speaking, few occasions +for irritation or despondency. A naturally warm temper is seen in you +under the least forbidding aspect, combined, as it is, with gay animal +spirits, strong affections, and ready good nature. You need only to look +around, however, to see the probability of things being quite different +with you some years hence, unless a thorough present change is effected. +Look at those cases (only too numerous and too apparent) in which +indulged habits of ill-temper have become stronger by the lapse of time, +and are not now softened in their aspect by the modifying influences of +youth, of hope, of health. See those victims to habitual ill-humour, who +are weighed down by the cares of a family, by broken health, by +disappointed hopes, by the inevitably accumulating sorrows of life. Do +you not know that they bestow wretchedness instead of happiness, even on +those who are dearest and nearest to them? Do you not know that their +voice is dreaded and unwelcome, as it sounds through their home, +deprived through them of the lovely peace of home? Is not their step +shunned in the passage, or on the stairs, in the certainty of no kind or +cheerful greeting? Do you not observe that every subject but the most +indifferent is avoided in their presence, or kept concealed from their +knowledge, in the vain hope of keeping away food for their excitement of +temper? Deprived of confidence, deprived of respect, their society +shunned even by the few who still love them, the unfortunate victims of +confirmed ill-temper may at last make some feeble efforts to shake off +their voluntarily imposed yoke. + +But, alas! it is too late; in feeble health, in advanced years, in +depressed spirits, their powers of "working together with God" are +altogether broken. They may be finally saved indeed, but in this life +they can never experience the peace that religion bestows on its +faithful self-controlling followers. They can never bestow happiness, +but always discomfort on those whom they best love; they can never +glorify God by bringing forth the fruits of "a meek and quiet spirit." +This is sad, very sad, but it is not the less true. Strange also it is, +in some respects, that when sin is deeply mourned over and anxiously +prayed against, its power cannot be more effectually weakened. This is, +however, an invariable feature throughout all the dispensations of God, +and you would do well to examine carefully into it, that you may add +experience to your faith in the Scripture assertion, "What a man soweth, +that shall he also reap."[34] May you be given grace to sow such present +seed as may bring forth a harvest of peace to yourself, and peace to +your friends! + +I must not forget to make some observations with respect to those +physical influences which affect the temper and spirits. It is true that +these are, at some times, and for a short period, altogether +irresistible. This is, however, only in the case of those whose +character was not originally of sufficient force and strength to require +much habitual self-control, as long as they possessed good health and +spirits. When this original good health is altered in any way that +alters their natural temper, (all diseases, however, have not this +effect,) not having had any previous practice in resisting the new and +unaccustomed evil, they yield to it as hopelessly as they would do to +the pain attending the gout and the rheumatism. If, however, such +persons as those above described are sincere in their desire to glorify +God, and to avoid disturbing the peace of those around them, they will +soon learn to make use of all the means within their reach to remove the +moral disease, as assiduously and as vigorously as they would labour to +remove the physical one. Their newly-acquired self-control will be blest +to them in more ways than one, for the grace of God is always given in +proportion to the need of those who are willing to work themselves, and +who have not incurred the evil they now struggle against, by wilful and +deliberate sin. I have spoken of only a few cases of ill-temper being +irresistible, and even these few only to be considered so at first, +before proper means of cure and prevention are used. Under other +circumstances, though the ill-temper mourned over may be strongly +influenced by physical causes, the sin must still remain the same as if +the causes were strictly moral ones. For instance, if you know that by +sitting up at night an hour or two later than usual, or by not taking +regular exercise, or by eating of indigestible food, you will put it out +of your power to avoid being ill-tempered and disagreeable on the +following day, the failure is surely a moral one. That the immediate +causes of your ill-humour may be physical ones, does not at all affect +the matter, seeing that such causes are, in this case, completely under +your own control. From this it follows that it must be a duty to watch +carefully the effects produced on your temper by every habit of your +life. If you do not abandon such of these as produce undesirable +effects, you deserve to experience the consequences in the gradual +diminution of the respect and affection of those who surround you. + +Should the habits producing irritation of temper be such as you cannot +abandon without loss or detriment to yourself or others, the object in +view will be equally attained by exercising a more vigilant self-control +while you are exposed to a dangerous influence. For instance, you have +often heard it remarked, and have perhaps observed in your own case, +that poetry and works of fiction excite and irritate the temper. You may +know some people who exhibit this influence so strongly that no one will +venture to make them a request or even to apply to them about necessary +business, while they are engaged in the perusal of any thing +interesting. I know more than one excellent person, who, in consequence +of observing the effect produced on their temper, by novels, &c., have +given up this style of reading altogether. So far as the sacrifice was +made from a conscientious motive, they doubtless have their reward. From +the consequences, however, I should be rather inclined to think that +they were in many cases not only mistaken in the nature of the +precautions they adopted, but also in their motives for adopting them. +Such persons too frequently seem to have no more control over their +temper when exposed to other and entirely inevitable temptations, than +they had before the cultivation of their imagination was given up. They +do not, in short, seem to exercise, under circumstances that cannot be +escaped, that vigilant self-control which would be the only safe test +of the conscientiousness of their intellectual sacrifice. + +For you, I should consider any sacrifice of the foregoing kind +especially inexpedient. Your deep thoughtfulness of mind, and your +habitual delicacy of health, make it impossible for you to give up light +literature with any degree of safety; even were it right that you should +abandon that species of mental cultivation which is effected by this +most important branch of study. People who never read difficult books, +and who are not of reflective habits of mind, can little understand the +necessity that at times exists for entire repose to the higher powers of +the mind--a repose which can be by no means so effectually procured as +by an interesting work of fiction. A drive in a pretty country, a +friendly visit, an hour's work in the garden, any of these may indeed +effect the same purpose, and on some occasions in a safer way than a +novel or a poem. The former, however, are means which are not always +within one's reach, which are impossible at seasons when entire rest to +the mind is most required,--viz. during days and weeks of confinement to +a sick and infected room. At such periods, it is true that the more idle +the mind can be kept the better; even the most trifling story may excite +a dangerous exertion of its nervous action; at times, however, when it +is sufficiently strong and disengaged to feel a craving for active +employment, it is of great importance that the employment should be such +as would involve no exercise of the higher intellectual faculties. I +have known serious evils result to both mind and body from an imprudent +engagement in intellectual pursuits during temporary, and as it may +often appear trifling, illness. Whenever the body is weak, the mind also +should be allowed to rest, if the invalid be a person of thought and +reflection; otherwise Butler's Analogy itself would not do her any harm. +It is _only_ "Lorsqu'il y a vie, il y a danger." This is a long +digression, but one necessary to my subject; for I feel the importance +of impressing on your mind that it can never be your duty to give up +that which is otherwise expedient for you, on the grounds of its being a +cause of excitement. You must only, under such circumstances, exercise a +double vigilance over your temper. Thus you must try to avoid speaking +in an irritated tone when you are interrupted; you must be always ready +to help another, if it be otherwise expedient, however deep may be the +interest of the book in which you are engaged; and, finally, if you are +obliged to refuse your assistance, you should make a point of expressing +your refusal with gentleness and courtesy. + +You should show others, as well as be convinced of it yourself, that the +refusal to oblige is altogether irrespective of any effect produced on +your temper by the studies in which you are engaged. Perhaps during the +course of even this one day, you may have an opportunity of experiencing +both the difficulty and advantage of attending to the foregoing +directions. + +In conclusion, I would remind you, that it may, some time or other, be +the will of God to afflict you with heavy and permanent sickness, +habitually affecting your temper, generating despondency, impatience, +and irritation, and making the whole mind, as it were, one vast sore, +shrinking in agony from every touch. If such a trial should ever be +allotted to you, (and it may be sent as a punishment for the neglect of +your present powers of self-control,) how will you be able to avoid +becoming a torment to all around you, and at the same time bringing +doubt and ridicule on your profession of religion? + +If, during your present enjoyment of mental and bodily health, you do +not acquire a mastery over your temper, it will be almost impossible to +do so when the effects of disease are added to the influences of nature +and habit. On the other hand, from Galen down to Sir Henry Halford, +there is high medical authority for the important fact that self-control +acquired in health may be successfully exercised to subdue every +external sign, at least, of the irritation and depression often +considered inevitably attendant on many peculiar maladies. There are few +greater temporal rewards of obedience than the consciousness, under such +trying circumstances, of still possessing the power of procuring peace +for oneself, love from one's neighbour, and glory to God. + +Remember, finally, that every day and every hour you pause and hesitate +about beginning to control your temper, may probably expose you to years +of more severe future conflict. "Now is the accepted time, now is the +day of salvation," is fully as true when asserted of the beginning of +the slow moral process by which our own conformity "to the image of the +Son" is effected, as of the saving moment in which we "arise and go to +our Father."[35] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[25] Zach. xiii. 6. + +[26] Heb. ii. 18. + +[27] James iv. 3. + +[28] Jer. xliv. 4. + +[29] Isa. viii. 20. + +[30] Col. i. 12. + +[31] Archdeacon Manning. + +[32] Matt. xxv. 24. + +[33] Ps. cxli. 3. + +[34] Gal. vi. 7. + +[35] Luke xv. + + + + +LETTER III. + +FALSEHOOD AND TRUTHFULNESS. + + +I do not accuse you of being a liar--far from it; on the contrary, I +believe that if truth and falsehood were distinctly placed before you, +and the opportunity of a deliberate choice afforded you, you would +rather expose yourself to serious injury than submit to the guilt of +falsehood. It is, therefore, with the more regret that your +conscientious friends observe a daily-growing disregard of absolute +truth in your statement of indifferent things, and, _a plus forte +raison_, in your statement of your own side of the question as opposed +to that of another. There are, unfortunately, a thousand opportunities +and temptations to the exaggerated mode of expression for which I blame +you; and these temptations are generally of so trifling a nature, that +the whole energies of the conscience are never awakened to resist them, +as might be the case were the evil to others and the disgrace to +yourself more strikingly manifest. Few people seem to be at all aware of +the difficulties that really attend speaking the _exact_ truth, or they +would shrink from indulging in any habits that immeasurably increase +these difficulties,--increase it, indeed, to such a degree, that some +minds appear to have lost the very power of perceiving truth; so that, +even when they are extremely anxious to be correct in their statement, +there is a total incapacity of transmitting a story to another in the +way that they themselves received it. This is one of the most striking +temporal punishments of sin,--one of those that are the inevitable +consequences of the sin itself, and quite independent of the other +punishments which the revealed will of God attaches to it. The persons +of whom I speak must sooner or later perceive that no dependence is +placed on their statements, that even when respect and affection for +their other good qualities may prevent a clear recognition of the +falsehood of their character, yet that they are now never applied to for +information on any matters of importance. Perhaps, to those who have any +sensitiveness of observation, such doubts are even the more painful the +more vaguely they are implied. For myself, I have long acquired the +habit of translating the assertions and the stories of the persons of +whom I speak into the language in which I judge they originally existed. +By the aid of a small degree of ingenuity, it is not very difficult to +ascertain, from the nature of the refracting medium, the degree and the +direction of the change that has taken place in the pure ray of truth. + +Yet such people as these often deserve pity as much as blame: they are, +perhaps, unconscious of the degree in which habit has made them +insensible to the perversion of truth in their statements; and even now +they scarcely believe that what seems to them so true should appear and +really be false to others. The intellectual effects of such habits are +equally injurious with the moral ones. All natural clearness and +distinctness of intellect becomes gradually obscured; the memory becomes +perplexed; the very style of writing acquires the taint of the +perverted mind. Truth is impressed upon every line of Dr. Arnold's +vigorous diction, while other writers of equal, perhaps, but less +respectable eminence, betray, even in their mode of expression, the +habitual want of honesty in their character and in their statements. + +In your case, none of the habits of which I have spoken are, as yet, +firmly implanted. A warm temper, ardent feelings, and a vivid +imagination are, as yet, the only causes of your errors. You have still +time and power to struggle against them, as the chains of habit have not +been added to those of nature. But, before the struggle begins, you must +be convinced of its necessity; and this is probably the point on which +you are entirely incredulous. Listen to me, then, while I help you to +discover the hidden mysteries of a heart that "is deceitful above all +things," and let the self-examination I urge upon you be prompt, be +immediate. Let it be exercised through the day that is coming; watch the +manner in which you express yourself on every subject; observe, +especially those temptations which will assail you to venture upon +greater deviations from truth than those which you think you may +harmlessly indulge in, under the sanction of vivid imagination, poetic +fancy, &c. This latter part of the examination may throw great light on +the subject: people are not assailed frequently and strongly by +temptations that have never, at any former time, been yielded to. + +I have reason to believe that, as one of the preparations for such +self-examination, you entertain a deep sense of the exceeding sinfulness +of sin, and feel an anxious desire to approve yourself as a faithful +servant to your heavenly Master. I do not, therefore, suppose that at +present any temptation would induce you to incur the guilt of a +deliberate falsehood. The perception of moral evil may, however, be so +blunted by habits of mere carelessness, that I should have no dependence +on your adhering for many future years to even this degree of plain, +downright truth, unless those habits are decidedly broken through. But +do not, from this, imagine that I consider a distinct, decided falsehood +more, but rather less, dangerous for the future of your character than +those lighter errors of which I have spoken. Though you may sink so far, +in course of time, as to consider even a direct lie a very small +transgression of the law of God, you will never be able to persuade +yourself that it is entirely free from sin. The injury, too, to our +neighbour, of a direct lie, can be so much more easily guarded against, +that, for the sake of others, I am far more earnest in warning you +against equivocation than against decided falsehood. It is sadly +difficult for the injured person to ward off the effects of a deceitful +glance, a misleading action, an artful insinuation. No earthly defence +is of any avail here, as the sorrows of many a wounded heart can +testify; but for such injured ones there is a sure, though it may be a +long-suffering, Defender. He is the Judge of all the earth; and even in +this world he will visit, with a punishment inevitably involved in the +consequences of their crime, those who have in any manner deceived their +neighbour to his hurt. + +I do not, however, accuse you of exaggerating or equivocating from +malice alone: no,--more frequently it is for the sake of mere +amusement, or, at the worst, in cowardly self-defence; that is, you +prefer throwing the blame by insinuation upon an innocent person to +bearing courageously what you deserve yourself. In most cases, indeed, +you can plead in excuse that the blame is not of any serious nature; +that the insinuated accusation is slight enough to be entirely harmless: +so it may appear to you, but so it frequently happens not to be. This +insinuated accusation, appearing to you so unimportant, may have some +peculiar relations that make it more injurious to the slandered one than +the original blame could have been to yourself. It may be the means of +separating her from her chief friend, or shaking her influence in +quarters where perhaps it was of great importance to her that it should +be preserved unimpaired. When we lay sinful hands on the complicated +machinery of God's providence, it is impossible for us to see how far +the derangement may extend. + +You may, during the course of this coming day, have an opportunity of +giving your own version of a matter in which another was concerned with +you, and in which, if the blame is thrown on her, she will have no +opportunity of defending herself. Be on your guard, then; have a noble +courage; fear nothing but the meanness and the wickedness of accusing +the absent and the defenceless. The opportunity offered you to-day of +speaking conscientiously, however trifling it may in itself appear, may +possibly be the turning point of your life; may lead you on to future +habits of cowardice and deceit, or may impart to you new vigilance and +energy for future victories over temptation. + +You may, also, during the course of this day, be strongly tempted as to +the mode of repeating what another has said in conversation: the +slightest turn in the expression of the sentence, the insertion or +omission of one little word, the change of a weaker to a stronger +expression, may exactly adapt to your purpose the sentence you are +tempted to repeat. You may also often be able to say to yourself that +you are giving the impression of the real meaning of the speaker, only +withheld by herself because she had not courage to express it. +Opportunities such as these are continually offering themselves to you, +and you have ingenuity enough to make the desired change in the repeated +sentence so effectual, that there will be no danger of contradiction, +even if the betrayed person should discover that she is called upon to +defend herself. I have heard this so cleverly done, that the success was +complete, and the poor slandered one lost, in consequence, her admirer +or her friend, or at least much of her influence over them. You, too, +may in like manner succeed: but what is the loss of others in comparison +of the penalty of your success? The punishment of successful sin is not +to be escaped. + +In any of the cases I here bring forward as illustrations, as helps to +your self-examination, I am not supposing that there is any tangible, +positive, wilful deceit in your heart, or that you deliberately +contemplate any very serious injury being inflicted on the persons whose +conversations and actions you misrepresent. On the contrary, I know that +you are not thus hardened in sin. With regard, however, to the deceit +not assuming any tangible form in your own eyes, you ought to remember +the solemn words, "Thou, O God I seest me;" and what is sin in his eyes +can only fail to be so in ours from the neglect of strict +self-examination and prayer that the Spirit of the Lord may search the +very depths of the heart. Sins of ignorance seem to assume even a deeper +dye than others, when the ignorance only arises from wilful neglect of +the means of knowledge so abundantly and freely bestowed. When you once +begin in right earnest to try to speak the truth from your heart, in the +smallest as well as in the greatest things, you will be surprised to +find how difficult it is. Carelessness, false shame, a desire for +admiration, a vanity that leads you to disclaim any interest in that +which you cannot obtain,--these are all temptations that beset your +path, and ought to terrify you against adding the chains of habit to so +many other difficulties. + +There is one more point of view in which I wish you to consider this +subject; that, namely, of "honesty being the best policy." There is no +falsehood that is not found out in the end, and so turned to the shame +of the person who is guilty of it. You may perpetually dread, even at +present, the eye of the discriminating observer; she can see through +you, even at the very moment of your committal of sin; she quickly +discovers that it is your habit to depreciate people or things, only +because you are not in your turn valued by them, or because you cannot +obtain them; she can see, in a few minutes' conversation, that it is +your habit to say that you are admired and loved, that your society is +eagerly sought for by such and such people, whether it be the case or +not. Quick observers discover in a first interview what others will not +fail to discover after a time. They will then cease to depend upon you +for information on any subject in which your own interest or your vanity +is concerned. They will turn up their eyes in wonder, from habit and +politeness, not from belief. They will always suspect some hidden motive +for your words, instead of the one you put forward; nay, your giving one +reason for your actions will, by itself alone, set them on the search to +discover a different one. All this, perhaps, will in many cases take +place without their accusing you, even in their secret thoughts, of +being a liar. They have only a vague consciousness that you are, it may +be involuntarily, quite incapable of giving correct information. + +The habitual, the known truth-speaker, occupies a proud position. Alas! +that it should be so rare. Alas! that, even among professedly religious +people, there should be so few who speak the truth from the heart; so +few to whom one can turn with a fearless confidence to ask for +information on any points of personal interest. I need not to be told +that it is during childhood that the formation of strict habits of +truthfulness is at once most sure and most easy. The difficulty is +indeed increased ten thousandfold, when the neglect of parents has +suffered even careless habits on this point to be contracted. The +difficulties, however, though great, are not insuperable to those who +seek the freely-offered grace of God to help them in the conflict. The +resistance to temptation, the self-control, will indeed be more +difficult when the effort begins later in life; but the victory will be +also the more glorious, and the general effects on the character more +permanent and beneficial. Not that this serves as any excuse for the +cruel neglect of parents, for they can have no certainty that future +repentance will be granted for those habits of sin, the formation of +which they might have prevented. + +Dwelling, however, even in thought, on the neglect of our parents can +only lead to vain murmurings and complainings, and prevent the +concentration of all our energies and interest upon the extirpation of +the dangerous root of evil. + +In this case, as in all others, though the sin of the parent is surely +visited on the children, the very visitation is turned into a blessing +for those who love God. To such blessed ones it becomes the means of +imparting greater strength and vigour to the character, from the +perpetual conflicts to which it is exposed in its efforts to overcome +early habits of evil. + +Thus even sin itself is not excepted from the "all things" that "work +together for good to them that love God."[36] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[36] Rom. viii. 28. + + + + +LETTER IV. + +ENVY. + + +It is, perhaps, an "unknown friend" only who would venture to address a +remonstrance to you on that particular sin which forms the subject of +the following pages; for it seems equally acknowledged by those who are +guilty of it, and those who are entirely free from its taint, that there +is no bad quality meaner, more degrading, than that of envy. Who, +therefore, could venture openly to accuse another of such a failing, +however kind and disinterested the motive, and still be admitted to rank +as her friend? + +There is, besides, a strong impression that, where this failing does +exist, it is so closely interwoven with the whole texture of the +character, that it can never be separated from it while life and this +body of sin remain. This is undoubtedly thus far true, that its +ramifications are more minute, and more universally pervading, than +those of any other moral defect; so that, on the one hand, while even an +anxious and diligent self-examination cannot always detect their +existence, so, on the other, it is scarcely possible for its victims to +be excited by an emotion of any nature with which envy will not, in some +manner or other, connect itself. It is still further true, that no vice +can be more difficult of extirpation, the form it assumes being seldom +sufficiently tangible to allow of the whole weight of religious and +moral motives being brought to bear upon it. But the greatest +difficulty of all is, in my mind, the inadequate conception of the +exceeding evil of this disposition, of the misery it entails on +ourselves, the danger and the constant annoyance to which it exposes all +connected with us. Few would recognise their own picture, however strong +the likeness in fact might be, in the following vivid description of +Lavater's:--"Lorsque je cherche a representer Satan, je me figure une +personne que les bonnes qualites d'autrui font souffrir, et qui se +rejouit des fautes et des malheurs du prochain." + +Analyze strictly, however, during even this one day, the feelings that +have given you the most annoyance, and the contemplated or executed +measures of deed or word to which those feelings have prompted you, and +you must plead guilty to the heinous charge of "rejoicing at your +brother's faults and misfortunes." It is not so much, indeed, with +relation to important matters that this feeling is excited within you. +If you hear of your friends being left large fortunes, or forming +connections calculated to promote their happiness, you are not annoyed +or grieved: you may even, perhaps, experience some sensations of +pleasure. If, however, the circumstances of good fortune are brought +more home to yourself, perhaps into collision with yourself, by being of +a more trifling nature, you often experience a regret or annoyance at +the success or the happiness of others, which would be ludicrous, if it +were not so wicked. Neither is there any vice which displays itself so +readily to the keen eye of observation: even when the guarded tongue +restrains the disclosure, the expression of the lip and eye is +unmistakeable, and gradually impresses a character on the countenance +which remains at times when the feeling itself is quite dormant. Only +contemplate your case in this point of view: is it not, when +dispassionately considered, shocking to think, that when a stranger +hopes to gratify you by the praise, the judicious and well-merited +praise, of your dearest friend, a pang is inflicted on you by the very +words that ought to sound as pleasant music in your ears? I have even +heard some persons so incautious, under such circumstances, as to +qualify the praise that gives them pain, by detracting from the merits +of the person under discussion, though that person be their particular +friend. This is done in a variety of ways: her merits and advantages may +be accounted for by the peculiarly favouring circumstances in which she +has been placed; or different disparaging opinions entertained of her, +by other people better qualified to judge, may also be mentioned. Now, +many persons thus imprudent are by no means utterly foolish at other +times; yet, in the moment of temptation from their besetting sin, they +do not observe how inevitable it is that the stranger so replied to +should immediately detect their unamiable motives, and estimate them +accordingly. + +You will not, perhaps, fall into so open a snare, for you have +sufficient tact and quickness of perception to know that, under such +circumstances, you must, on your own account, bury in your bosom those +emotions of pain which I much fear you will generally feel. It is not, +however, the outward expression of such emotions, but their inward +experience, which is the real question we are considering, both as +regards your present happiness and your eternal interest. Ask yourself +whether it is a pleasurable sensation, or the contrary, when those you +love (I am still putting a strong case) are admired and appreciated, ire +held up as examples of excellence? If you love truly, if you are free +from envy, such praise will be far sweeter to your ears than any +bestowed on yourself could ever be. Indeed, it might be considered a +sufficient punishment for this vice, to be deprived of the deep and +virtuous sensation of delight experienced by the loving heart when +admiration is warmly expressed for the objects of their affection. + +There has been a time when I should have scornfully rejected the +supposition that such a failing as envy could exist in companionship +with aught that was loveable or amiable. More observation of character +has, however, given me the unpleasant conviction that it occasionally +may be found in the close neighbourhood of contrasting excellences. +Alas! instead of being concealed or gradually overgrown by them, it, on +the contrary, spreads its deadly blight over any noble features that may +have originally existed in the character. Nothing but the severest +discipline, external and internal, can arrest this, its natural course. + +When you were younger, the feelings which I now warn you against were +called jealousy, and even now some indulgent friends may continue to +give them this false name. Do not you suffer the dangerous delusion! +Have the courage to place your feelings in all their natural deformity +before you, and this sight will give you energy to pursue any regimen, +however severe, that may be required to subdue them. + +I do really believe that it is the false name of jealousy that prevents +many an early struggle against the real vice of envy. I have heard young +women even boast of the jealousy of their disposition, insinuating that +it was to be considered as a proof of warm feelings and an affectionate +heart. Perhaps genuine jealousy may deserve to be so considered: the +anxious watching over even imaginary diminution of affection or esteem +in those we love and respect, the vigilance to detect the slightest +external manifestation of any diminution in their tenderness and regard, +though proving a deficiency in that noble faith which is the surest +safeguard and the firmest foundation of love and friendship, may, in +some cases, be an evidence of affection and warmth in the disposition +and the heart. So close, however, is the connection between envy and +jealousy, that the latter in one moment may change into the former. The +most watchful circumspection, therefore, is required, lest that which +is, even in its best form, a weakness and an instrument of misery to +ourselves and others, should still further degenerate into a meanness +and a vice;--as, for instance, when you fear that the person you love +may be induced, by seeing the excellences of another, to withdraw from +you some of the time, admiration, and affection you wish to be +exclusively bestowed upon yourself. In this case, there is a strong +temptation to display the failings of the dreaded rival, or, at the +best, to feel no regret at their chance display. Under such +circumstances, even the excusable jealousy of affection passes over into +the vice of envy. The connection between them is, indeed, dangerously +close; but it is easy to trace the boundary line, if we are inclined to +do so. Jealousy is contented with the affection and admiration of those +it loves and respects; envy is in despair, if those whom it despises +bestow the least portion of attention or admiration on those whom +perhaps she despises still more. Jealousy inquires only into the +feelings of the few valued ones; envy makes no distinction in her +cravings for universal preference. The very attentions and admiration +which were considered valueless, nay, troublesome, as long as they were +bestowed on herself, become of exceeding importance when they are +transferred to another. Envy would make use of any means whatever to win +back the friend or the admirer whose transferred attentions were +affording pleasure to another. The power of inflicting pain and +disappointment on one whose superiority is envied, bestows on the object +of former indifference, or even contempt, a new and powerful attraction. +This is very wicked, very mean, you will say, and shrink back in horror +from the supposition of any resemblance to such characters as those I +have just described. Alas! your indignation may be honest, but it is +without foundation. Already those earlier symptoms are constantly +appearing, which, if not sternly checked, must in time grow into +hopeless deformity of character. There is nothing that undermines all +virtuous and noble qualities more surely or more insidiously than the +indulged vice of envy. Its unresisting victims become, by degrees, +capable of every species of detraction, until they lose even the very +power of perceiving that which is true. They become, too, incapable of +all generous self-denial and self-sacrifice; feelings of bitterness +towards every successful rival (and there are few who may not be our +rivals on some one point or other) gradually diffuse themselves +throughout the heart, and leave no place for that love of our neighbour +which the Scriptures have stated to be the test of love to God.[37] + +Unlike most other vices, envy can never want an opportunity of +indulgence; so that, unless it is early detected and vigilantly +controlled, its rapid growth is inevitable. + +Early detection is the first point; and in that I am most anxious to +assist you. Perhaps, till now, the possibility of your being guilty of +the vice of envy has never entered your thoughts. When any thing +resembling it has forced itself on your notice, you have probably given +it the name of jealousy, and have attributed the painful emotions it +excited to the too tender susceptibilities of your nature. Ridiculous as +such self-deception is, I have seen too many instances of it to doubt +the probability of its existing in your case. + +I am not, in general, an advocate for the minute analysis of mental +emotions: the reality of them most frequently evaporates during the +process, as in anatomy the principle of life escapes during the most +vigilant anatomical examination. In the case, however, of seeking the +detection of a before unknown failing, a strict mental inquiry must +necessarily be instituted. The many great dangers of mental anatomy may +be partly avoided by confining your observations to the external +symptoms, instead of to the state of mind from whence they proceed. This +will be the safer as well as the more effectual mode of bringing +conviction home to your mind. For instance, I would have you watch the +emotions excited when enthusiastic praise is bestowed upon another, with +relation to those very qualities you are the most anxious should be +admired in yourself. When the conversation or the accomplishments of +another fix the attention which was withheld from your own,--when the +opinion of another, with whom you fancy yourself on an equality, is put +forward as deserving of being followed in preference to your own, I can +imagine you possessed of sufficient self-respect to restrain any +external tokens of envy: you will not insinuate, as meaner spirits would +do, that the beauty, or the dress, or the accomplishments so highly +extolled are preserved, cherished, and cultivated at the expense of +time, kindly feelings, and the duty of almsgiving--that the conversation +is considered by many competent judges flippant, or pedantic, or +presuming--that the opinion cannot be of much value when the conduct has +been in some instances so deficient in prudence. + +These are all remarks which envy may easily find an opportunity of +insinuating against any of its rivals; but, as I said before, I imagine +that you have too much self-respect to manifest openly such feelings, to +reveal such meanness to the eyes of man. Alas! you have not an equal +fear of the all-seeing eye of God. What I apprehend most for you is the +allowing yourself to cherish secretly all these palliative +circumstances, that you may thus reconcile yourself to a superiority +that mortifies you. If you habitually allow yourself in this practice, +it will be almost impossible to avoid feeling pleasure instead of pain +when these same circumstances happen to be pointed out by others, and +when you have thus all the benefit, and none of the guilt or shame, of +the disclosure. When envy is freely allowed to take these two first +steps, a further progress is inevitable. Self-respect itself will not +long preserve you from outward demonstrations of that which is inwardly +indulged, and you are sure to become in time the object of just contempt +and ridicule. It will soon be well known that the surest way to inflict +pain upon you is to extol the excellences or to dwell on the happiness +of others, and your failings will be considered an amusing subject for +jesting observation to experimentalize upon. I have often watched the +downward progress I have just described; and, unless the grace of God, +working with your own vigorous self-control, should alter your present +frame of mind, I can see no reason why you should escape when others +inevitably fall. + +The circumstance in which this vice manifests itself most painfully and +most dangerously is that of a large family. How deplorable is it, when, +instead of making each separate interest the interest of the whole, and +rejoicing in the love and admiration bestowed on each separate +individual, as if it were bestowed on the whole, such love and such +admiration excite, on the contrary, irritation and regret. + +Among children, this evil seldom attracts notice; if one girl is praised +for dancing or singing much better than her sister, and the sister +taunted into further efforts by insulting comparisons, the poor mistaken +parent little thinks that, in the pain she inflicts on the depreciated +child, she is implanting a perennial root of danger and sorrow. The +child may cry and sob at the time, and afterward feel uncomfortable in +the presence of one whose superiority has been made the means of +worrying her; and, if envious by nature, she will probably take the +first opportunity of pointing out to the teachers any little error of +her sister's. The permanent injury, however, remains to be effected when +they both grow to woman's estate; the envious sister will then take +every artful opportunity of lessening the influence of the one who is +considered her superior, of insinuating charges against her to those +whose good opinion they both value the most. And she is only too easily +successful; she is successful, that success may bring upon her the +penalty of her sin, for Heaven is then the most incensed against us when +our sin appears to prosper. Various and inexhaustible are the mere +temporal punishments of this sin of envy; of the sin which deprives +another of even one shade of the influence, admiration, and affection, +they would otherwise have enjoyed. + +If the preference of a female friend excites angry and jealous feelings, +the attentions of an admirer are probably still more envied. In some +unhappy families, one may observe the beginning of any such attentions +by the vigilant depreciation of the admirer, and the anxious +manoeuvres to prevent any opportunities of cultivating the detected +preference. What prosperity can be hoped for to a family in which the +supposed advantage and happiness of one individual member is feared and +guarded against, instead of being considered an interest belonging to +the whole? You will be shocked at such pictures as these: alas! that +they should be so frequent even in domestic England, the land of happy +homes and strong family ties. You are of course still more shocked at +hearing that I attribute to yourself any shade of so deadly a vice as +that above described; and as long as you do not attribute it to +yourself, my warning voice will be raised in vain: I am not, however, +without hope that the vigilant self-examination, which your real wish +for improvement will probably soon render habitual, may open your eyes +to your danger while it can still be easily averted. Supposing this to +be the case, I would earnestly suggest to you the following means of +cure. First, earnest prayer against this particular sin, earnest prayer +to be brought into "a higher moral atmosphere," one of unfeigned love to +our neighbour, one of rejoicing with all who do rejoice, "and weeping +with those who weep." This general habit is of the greatest importance +to cultivate: we should strive naturally and instinctively to feel +pleasure when another is loved, or praised, or fortunate; we should try +to strengthen our sympathies, to make the feelings of others, as much as +possible, our own. Many an early emotion of envy might be instantly +checked by throwing one's self into the position of the envied one, and +exerting the imagination to conceive vividly the pleasure or the pain +she must experience: this will, even at the time, make us forgetful of +self, and will gradually bring us into the habit of feeling for the pain +and pleasure of others, as if we really believed them to be members of +the same mystical body.[38] We should, in the next place, attack the +symptoms of the vice we wish to eradicate; we should seek by reasonable +considerations to realize the absurdity of our envy: for this, nothing +is more essential than the ascertaining of our own level, and fairly +making up our minds to the certain superiority of others. As soon as +this is distinctly acknowledged, much of the pain of the inferior +estimation in which we are held will be removed: "There is no disgrace +in being eclipsed by Jupiter." Next, let us examine into the details of +the law of compensation--one which is never infringed; let us consider +that the very superiority of others involves many unpleasantnesses, of a +kind, perhaps, the most disagreeable to us. For instance, it often +involves the necessity of a sacrifice of time and feelings, and almost +invariably creates an isolation,--consequences from which we, perhaps, +should fearfully shrink. On the brilliant conversationist is inflicted +the penalty of never enjoying a rest in society: her expected employment +is to amuse others, not herself; the beauty is the dread of all the +jealous wives and anxious mothers, and the object of a notice which is +almost incompatible with happiness: I never saw a happy beauty, did you? +The great genius is shunned and feared by, perhaps, the very people whom +she is most desirous to attract; the exquisite musician is asked into +society _en artiste_, expected to contribute a certain species of +amusement, the world refusing to receive any other from her. The woman +who is surrounded by admirers is often wearied to death of attentions +which lose all their charm with their novelty, and which frequently +serve to deprive her of the only affection she really values. Experience +will convince you of the great truth, that there is a law of +compensation in all things. The same law also holds good with regard to +the preferences shown to those who have no superiority over us, who are +nothing more than our equals in beauty, in cleverness, in +accomplishments. If Ellen B. or Lydia C. is liked more than you are by +one person, you, in your turn, will be preferred by another; no one who +seeks for affection and approbation, and who really deserves it, ever +finally fails of acquiring it. You have no right to expect that every +one should like you the best: if you considered such expectations in the +abstract, you would be forced to acknowledge their absurdity. Besides, +would it not be a great annoyance to you to give up your time and +attention to conversing with, or writing to, the very people whose +preference you envy for Ellen B. or Lydia C.? They are suited to each +other, and like each other: in good time, you will meet with people who +suit you, and who will consequently like you; nay, perhaps at this +present moment, you may have many friends who delight in your society, +and admire your character: will you lose the pleasure which such +blessings are intended to confer, by envying the preferences shown to +others? Bring the subject distinctly and clearly home to your mind. +Whenever you feel an emotion of pain, have the courage to trace it to +its source, place this emotion in all its meanness before you, then +think how ridiculous it would appear to you if you contemplated it in +another. Finally, ask yourself whether there can be any indulgence of +such feelings in a heart that is bringing into captivity every thought +to the obedience of Christ,--whether there can be any room for them in a +temple of God wherein the spirit of God dwelleth.[39] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[37] 1 John iii. + +[38] 1 Cor. xii. 25, 26. + +[39] Cor. iii. 16. + + + + +LETTER V. + +SELFISHNESS AND UNSELFISHNESS. + + +This is a difficult subject to address you upon, and one which you will +probably reject as unsuited to yourself. There are few qualities that +the possessor is less likely to be conscious of than either selfishness +or unselfishness; because the actions proceeding from either are so +completely instinctive, so unregulated by any appeal to principle, that +they never, in the common course of things, attract any particular +notice. We go on, therefore, strengthening ourselves in the habits of +either, until a double nature, as it were, is formed, overlaying the +first, and equally powerful with it. How unlovely is this in the case of +selfishness, even where there are, besides, fine and striking features +in the general character, and how lovely in the case of unselfishness, +even when, as too frequently happens, there is little comparative +strength or nobleness in its intellectual and moral accompaniments! + +You are now young, you are affectionate, good-natured, obliging, +possessed of gay and happy spirits, and a sweetness of temper that is +seldom seen united with so much sparkling wit and lively sensibilities. +Altogether, then, you are considered a very attractive person, and, in +the love which all those qualities have won for you from those around +you, may bring forward strong evidence against my charge of selfishness. +But is not this love more especially felt by those who are not brought +into daily and hourly collision with you. They only see you bright with +good-humour, ready to talk, to laugh, and to make merry with them in any +way they please. They therefore, in all probability, do not think you +selfish. Are you certain, however, that the estimate formed of you by +your nearest relatives will not be the estimate formed of you by even +acquaintance some years hence, when lessened good-humour and +strengthened habits of selfishness have brought out into more striking +relief the natural faults of your character? + +The selfishness of the gay, amusing, good-humoured girl is often +unobserved, almost always tolerated; but when youth, beauty, and +vivacity are gone, the vice appears in its native deformity, and she who +indulges it becomes as unlovely as unloved. It is for the future you +have cause to fear,--a future for which you are preparing gloom and +dislike by the habits you are now forming in the small details of daily +life, as well as in the pleasurable excitements of social intercourse. +As I said before, these, at present almost imperceptible, habits are +unheeded by those who are only your acquaintance: but they are not the +less sowing the seeds of future unhappiness for you. You will, +assuredly, at some period or other, reap in dislike what you are now +sowing in selfishness. If, however, the warning voice of an "unknown +friend" is attended to, there is yet time to complete a comparatively +easy victory over this, your besetting sin; while, on the contrary, +every week and every month's delay, by riveting more strongly the chains +of habit, increases at once your difficulties and your consequent +discouragement. + +This day, this very hour, the conflict ought to begin: but, alas! how +may this be, when you are not yet even aware of the existence of that +danger which I warn you. It is most truly "a part of sin to be +unconscious of itself."[40] It will also be doubly difficult to effect +the necessary preliminary of convincing you of selfishness, when I am so +situated as not to be able to point out to you with certainty any +particular act indicative of the vice in question. This obliges me to +enter into more varied details, to touch a thousand different strings, +in the hope that, among so many, I may by chance touch upon the right +one. + +Now, it is a certain fact, that in such inquiries as the present, our +enemies may be of much more use to us than our friends. They may, they +generally do, exaggerate our faults, but the exaggeration gives them a +relief and depth of colouring which may enable the accusation to force +its way through the dimness and heavy-sightedness of our self-deception. +Examine yourself, then, with respect to those accusations which others +bring against you in moments of anger and excitement; place yourself in +the situation of the injured party, and ask yourself whether you would +not attach tho blame of selfishness to similar conduct in another +person. For instance, you may perhaps be seated in a comfortable chair +by a comfortable fire, reading an interesting book, and a brother or +sister comes in to request that you will help them in packing something, +or writing something that must be finished at a certain time, and that +cannot be done without your assistance: the interruption alone, at a +critical part of the story, or in the middle of an abstruse and +interesting argument, is enough to irritate your temper and to +disqualify you for listening with an unprejudiced ear to the request +that is made to you. You answer, probably, in a tone of irritation; you +say that it is impossible, that the business ought to have been attended +to earlier, and that they could then have concluded it without your +assistance; or perhaps you rise and go with them, and execute the thing +to be done in a most ungracious manner, with a pouting lip and a surly +tone, insinuating, too, for days afterwards, how much you had been +annoyed and inconvenienced. The case would have been different if a +stranger had made the request of you, or a friend, or any one but a near +and probably very dear relative. In the former case, there would have +been, first, the excitement which always in some degree distinguishes +social from mere family intercourse; there would have been the wish to +keep up their good opinion of your character, which they may have been +deluded into considering the very reverse of unselfish. Lastly, their +thanks would of course be more warm than those which you are likely to +receive from a relative, (who instinctively feels it to be your duty to +help in the family labours,) and thus your vanity would have been +sufficiently gratified to reconcile you to the trouble and interruption +to which you had been exposed. + +Still further, it is, perhaps, only to your own family that you would +have indulged in that introductory irritation of which I have spoken. +We have all witnessed cases in which inexcusable excitement has been +displayed towards relatives or servants who have announced unpleasant +interruptions, in the shape of an unwelcome visitor; while the moment +afterwards the real offender has been greeted with an unclouded brow and +a warm welcome, she not having the misfortune of being so closely +connected with you as the innocent victim of your previous ill-temper. + +I enter into these details, not because they are necessarily connected +with selfishness, for many unselfish, generous-minded people are the +unfortunate victims of ill-temper, to which vice the preceding traits of +character more peculiarly belong; but for the purpose of showing you +that your conduct towards strangers can be no test of your +unselfishness. It is only in the more trying details of daily life that +the existence of the vice or the virtue can be evidenced. It is, +nevertheless, upon qualities so imperceptible to yourself as to require +this close scrutiny that most of the happiness and comfort of domestic +life depends. + +You know the story of the watch that had been long out of order, and the +cause of its irregularity not to be discovered. At length, one +watchmaker, more ingenious than the rest, suggested that a magnet might, +by some chance, have touched the mainspring. This was ascertained by +experiment to have been the case; the casual and temporary neighbourhood +of a magnet had deranged the whole complicated machinery: and on equally +imperceptible, often undiscoverable, trifles does the healthy movement +of the mainspring of domestic happiness depend. Observe, then, +carefully, every irregularity in its motion, and exercise your +ingenuity to discover the cause in good time; the derangement may +otherwise soon become incurable, both by the strengthening of your own +habits, and the dispositions towards you which they will impress on the +minds of others. + +Do let me entreat you, then, to watch yourself during the course of even +this one day,--first, for the purpose of ascertaining whether my +accusation of selfishness is or is not well founded, and afterwards, for +the purpose of seeking to eradicate from your character every taint of +so unlovely, and, for the credit of the sex, I may add, so unfeminine a +failing. + +Before we proceed further on this subject, I must attempt to lay down a +definition of selfishness, lest you should suppose that I am so mistaken +as to confound with the vice above named that self-love, which is at +once an allowable instinct and a positive duty. + +Selfishness, then, I consider as a perversion of the natural and +divinely-impressed instinct of self-love. It is a desire for things +which are not really good for us, followed by an endeavour to obtain +those things to the injury of our neighbour.[41] Where a sacrifice which +benefits your neighbour can inflict no _real_ injury on yourself, it +would be selfishness not to make the sacrifice. On the contrary, where +either one or the other must suffer an equal injury, (equal in all +points of view--in permanence, in powers of endurance, &c.,) self-love +requires that you should here prefer yourself. You have no right to +sacrifice your own health, your own happiness, or your own life, to +preserve the health, or the life, or the happiness of another; for none +of these things are your own: they are only entrusted to your +stewardship, to be made the best use of for God's glory. Your health is +given you that you may have the free disposal of all your mental and +bodily powers to employ them in his service; your happiness, that you +may have energy to diffuse peace and cheerfulness around you; your life, +that you may "work out your salvation with fear and trembling." We read +of fine sacrifices of the kind I deprecate in novels and romances: we +may admire them in heathen story; but with such sacrifices the real +Christian has no concern. He must not give away that which is not his +own. "Ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, +and in your spirit, which are God's."[42] + +In the case of a sacrifice of life--one which, of course, can very +rarely occur,--the dangerous results of thus, as it were, taking events +out of the hand of God cannot be always visible to our sight at present: +we should, however, contemplate what they might possibly be. Let us, +then, consider the injury that may result to the self-sacrificer, +throughout the countless ages of eternity, from the loss of that +working-time of hours, days, and years, wilfully flung from him for the +uncertain benefit of another. Yes, uncertain, for the person may at that +time have been in a state of greater meetness for heaven than he will +ever again enjoy: there may be future fearful temptations, and +consequent falling into sin, from which he would have been preserved if +his death had taken place when the providence of God seemed to will it. +Of course, none of us can, by the most wilful disobedience, dispose +events in any way but exactly that which his hand and his counsel have +determined before the foundation of the world;[43] but when we go out of +the narrow path of duty, we attempt, as far as in us lies, to reverse +his unchangeable decrees, and we "have our reward;" we mar our own +welfare, and that of others, when we make any effort to take the +providing for it out of the hands of the Omnipotent. + +It is, however, only for the establishment of a principle that it could +be necessary to discuss the duties involved in such rare emergencies. I +shall therefore proceed without further delay to the more common +sacrifices of which I have spoken, and explain to you what I mean by +such sacrifices. + +I have alluded to those of health and happiness. We have all known the +first wilfully thrown away by needless attendance on such sick friends +as would have been equally well taken care of had servants or hired +nurses shared in the otherwise overpowering labour. Often is this labour +found to incapacitate the nurse-tending friend for fulfilling towards +the convalescent those offices in which no menial could supply her place +--such as the cheering of the drooping spirit, the selection and patient +perusal of amusing books, an animated, amusing companionship in their +walks and drives, the humouring of their sick fancy--a sickness that +often increases as that of the body decreases. For all these trying +duties, during the often long and always painfully tedious period of +convalescence, the nightly watcher of the sick-bed has, it is most +likely, unfitted herself. The affection and devotion which were useless +and unheeded during days and nights of stupor and delirium have probably +by this time worn out the weak body which they have been exciting to +efforts beyond its strength, so that it is now incapable of more useful +demonstrations of attachment. Far be it from me to depreciate that fond, +devoted watching of love, which is sometimes even a compensation to the +invalid for the sufferings of sickness, at periods, too, when hired +attendance could not be tolerated. Here woman's love and devotion are +often brightly shown. The natural impulses of her heart lead her to +trample under foot all consideration of personal danger, fatigue, or +weakness, when the need of her loved ones demands her exertions. + +This, however, is comparatively easy; it is only following the instincts +of her loving nature never to leave the sick room, where all her +anxiety, all her hopes and fears are centred,--never to breathe the +fresh air of heaven,--never to mingle in the social circle,--never to +rest the weary limbs, or close the languid eye. The excitement of love +and anxiety makes all this easy as long as the anxiety itself lasts: but +when danger is removed, and the more trying duties of tending the +convalescent begin, the genuine devotion of self-denial and +unselfishness is put to the test. + +Nothing is more difficult than to bear with patience the apparently +unreasonable depression and ever-varying whims of the peevish +convalescent, whose powers of self-control have been prostrated by long +bodily exhaustion. Nothing is more trying than to find anxious exertions +for their comfort and amusement, either entirely unnoticed and useless, +or met with petulant contradiction and ungrateful irritation. Those who +have themselves experienced the helplessness caused by disease well know +how bitterly the trial is shared by the invalid herself. How deeply she +often mourns over the unreasonableness and irritation she is without +power to control, and what tears of anguish she sheds in secret over +those acts of neglect and words of unkindness her own ill-humour and +apparent ingratitude have unintentionally provoked. + +Those who feel the sympathy of experience will surely wish, under all +such circumstances, to exercise untiring patience and unremitting +attention; but, however strong this wish may be, they cannot execute +their purpose if their own health has been injured by previous +unnecessary watchings, by exclusion from fresh air and exercise. Those +whose nervous system has been thus unstrung will never be equal to the +painful exertion which the recovering invalid now requires. How much +better it would have been for her if walks and sleep had been taken at +times when an attentive nurse would have done just as well to sit at the +bedside, when absence would have been unnoticed, or only temporarily +regretted! This prudent, and, we must remember, generally self-denying +care of one's self, would have averted the future bodily illness or +nervous depression of the nurse of the convalescent, at a time too when +the latter has become painfully alive to every look and word, as well as +act, of diminished attention and watchfulness; you will surely feel +deep self-reproach if, from any cause, you are unable to control your +own temper, and to bear with cheerful patience the petulance of hers. + +I have dwelt so long on this part of my subject, because I think it very +probable that, with your warm affections, and before your selfishness +has been hardened by habits of self-indulgence, you might some time or +other fall into the error I have been describing. In the ardour of your +anxiety for some beloved relative, you may be induced to persevere in +such close attendance on the sick-bed as may seriously injure your own +health, and unfit you for more useful, and certainly more self-denying +exertion afterwards. How much easier is it to spend days and nights by +the sick-bed of one from whom we are in hourly dread of a final +separation, whose helpless and suffering state excites the strongest +feelings of compassion and anxiety, than to sit by the sofa, or walk by +the side, of the same invalid when she has regained just sufficient +strength to experience discomfort in every thing;--when she never finds +her sofa arranged or placed to her satisfaction; is never pleased with +the carriage, or the drive, or the walk you have chosen; is never +interested in the book or the conversation with which you anxiously and +laboriously try to amuse her. Here it is that woman's power of +endurance, that the real strength and nobleness of her character is put +to the most difficult test. Well, too, has this test been borne: right +womanly has been the conduct of many a loving wife, mother, and sister, +under the trying circumstances above described. Woman alone, perhaps, +can steadily maintain the clear vision of what the beloved one really +is, and can patiently view the wearisome ebullitions of ill-temper and +discontent as symptoms equally physical with a cough or a hectic flush. + +This noble picture of self-control can be realized only by those who +keep even the best instincts of a woman's nature under the government of +strict principle, remembering that the most beautiful of these instincts +may not be followed without guidance or restraint. Those who yield to +such instincts without reflection and self-denial will exhaust their +energies before the time comes for the fulfilment of duties. + +The third branch of my subject is the most difficult. It may, indeed, +appear strange that we should not have the right to sacrifice our own +happiness: that surely belongs to us to dispose of, if nothing else +does. Besides, happiness is evidently not the state of being intended +for us here below; and that much higher state of mind from which all +"_hap_"[44] is excluded--viz. blessedness--is seldom granted unless the +other is altogether withdrawn. + +You must, however, observe that this blessedness is only granted when +the lower state--that of happiness--could not be preserved except by a +positive breach of duty, or when it is withheld or destroyed by the +immediate interposition of God Himself, as in the case of death, +separation, incurable disease, &c. Under any of the above circumstances, +we have the sure promise of God, "As thy days are, so shall thy strength +be." The lost and mourned happiness will not be allowed to deprive us of +the powers of rejoicing in hope, and serving God in peace; also of +diffusing around us the cheerfulness and contentment which is one of the +most important of our Christian duties. These privileges, however, we +must not expect to enjoy, if, by a mistaken unselfishness, (often deeply +stained with pride,) we sacrifice to another the happiness that lay in +our own path, and which may, in reality, be prejudicial to them, as it +was not intended for them by Providence: while, on the contrary, it may +have been by the same Providence intended for us as the necessary drop +of sweetness in the otherwise overpowering bitterness of our earthly +cup. + +We take, as it were, the disposal of our fate out of the hands of God as +much when we refuse the happiness He sends us as when we turn aside from +the path of duty on account of some rough passage we see there before +us. Good and evil both come from the hands of the Lord. We should be +watchful to receive every thing exactly in the way He sees it fit for +us. + +Experience, as well as theory, confirms the truth of the above +assertions. Consider even your own case with relation to any sacrifice +of your own real happiness to the supposed happiness of another. I can +imagine this possible even in a selfish disposition, not yet hardened. +Your good-nature, warm feelings, and pride (in you a powerfully +actuating principle) may have at times induced you to make, in moments +of excitement, sacrifices of which you have not fully "counted the +cost." Let us, then, examine this point in relation to yourself, and to +the petty sacrifices of daily life. If you have allowed others to +encroach too much on your time, if you have given up to them your +innocent pleasures, your improving pursuits, and favourite companions, +has this indulgence of their selfishness really added to their +happiness? Has it not rather been unobserved, except so far to increase +the unreasonableness of their expectations from you, to make them angry +when it at last becomes necessary to resist their advanced +encroachments? On your own side, too, has it not rather tended to +irritate you against people whom you formerly liked, because you are +suffering from the daily and hourly pressure of the sacrifices you have +imprudently made for them? Believe me, there can be no peace or +happiness in domestic life without a _bien entendu_ self-love, which +will be found by intelligent experience to be a preservative from +selfishness, instead of a manifestation of it. + +From all that I have already said, you will, I hope, infer that I am not +likely to recommend any extravagant social sacrifices, or to bring you +in guilty of selfishness for actions not really deserving of the name. +Indeed, I have said so much on the other side, that I may now have some +difficulty in proving that, while defending self-love, I have not been +defending you. We must therefore go back to my former definition of +selfishness--namely, a seeking for ourselves that which is not our real +good, to the neglect of all consideration for that which is the real +good of others. This is viewing the subject _an grand_,--a very general +definition, indeed, but not a vague one, for all the following +illustrations from the minor details of life may clearly be referred +under this head. + +These are the sort of illustrations I always prefer--they come home so +much more readily to the heart and mind. Will not some of the following +come home to you? The indulgence of your indolence by sending a tired +person on a message when you are very well able to go yourself--sending +a servant away from her work which she has to finish within a certain +time--keeping your maid standing to bestow much more than needful +decoration on your dress, hair, &c., at a time when she is weak or +tired--driving one way for your own mere amusement, when it is a real +inconvenience to your companion not to go another--expressing or acting +on a disinclination to accompany your friend or sister when she cannot +go alone--refusing to give up a book that is always within your reach to +another who may have only this opportunity of reading it--walking too +far or too fast, to the serious annoyance of a tired or delicate +companion--refusing, or only consenting with ill-humour, to write a +letter, or to do a piece of work, or to entertain a visitor, or to pay a +visit, when the person whose more immediate business it is, has, from +want of time, and not from idleness or laziness, no power to do what she +requests of you--dwelling on all the details of a painful subject, for +the mere purpose of giving vent to and thus relieving your own feelings, +though it may be by the harrowing up of those of others who are less +able to bear it. All these are indeed trifles--but + + Trifles make the sum of human things,[45] + +and are sure to occur every day, and to form the character into such +habits as will fit or unfit it for great proofs of unselfishness, should +such be ever called for. Besides, it is on trifles such as these that +the smoothness of "the current of domestic joy" depends. It is a +smoothness that is easily disturbed: do not let your hand be the one to +do it. + +In all the trifling instances of selfishness above enumerated, I have +generally supposed that a request has been made to you, and that you +have not the trouble of finding out the exact manner in which you can +conquer selfishness for the advantage of your neighbour. I must now, +however, remind you that one of the penalties incurred by past +indulgence in selfishness is this, that those who love you will not +continue to make those requests which you have been in the habit of +refusing, or, if you ever complied with them, of reminding the obliged +person, from time to time, how much serious inconvenience your +compliance has subjected you to. This, I fear, may have been your habit; +for selfish people exaggerate so much every "little" (by "the good man") +"nameless, unremembered act," that they never consider them gratefully +enough impressed on the heart of the receiver without frequent reminders +from themselves. If such has been the case, you must not expect the +frank, confiding request, the entire trust in your willingness to make +any not unreasonable sacrifice, with which the unselfish are gratified +and rewarded, and for which perhaps you often envy them, though you +would not take the trouble to deserve the same confidence yourself. Even +should you now begin the attempt, and begin it in all earnestness, it +will take some time to establish your new character. _En attendant_, you +must be on the watch for opportunities of obliging others, for they will +not be freely offered to you; you must now exercise your own +observation to find out what they would once have frankly told +you,--whether you are tiring people physically or distressing them +morally, or putting them to practical inconvenience. I do not make the +extravagant supposition that all those with whom you associate have +attained to Christian perfection; the proud and the resentful, as well +as the delicate-minded, will suffer much rather than repeat appeals to +your unselfishness which have often before been disregarded. They may +exercise the Christian duty of forgiveness in other ways, but this is +the most difficult of all. Few can attain to it, and you must not hope +it. + +Finally; I wish to warn you against believing those who tell you that +such minute analysis of motives, such scrutiny into the smallest details +of daily conduct, has a tendency to produce an unhealthy +self-consciousness. This might, indeed, be true, if the original state +of your nature, before the examination began, were a healthy one. "If +Adam had always remained in Paradise, there would have been no anatomy +and no metaphysics:" as it is not so, we require both. Sin has entered +the world, and death by sin; and therefore it is that both soul and body +require a care and a minute watchfulness that cannot, in the present +state of things, originate either disease or sin. They have both existed +before. + +No one ever became or can become selfish by a prayerful examination into +the fact of being so or not. In matters of mere feeling, it is indeed +dangerous to scrutinize too narrowly the degree and the nature of our +emotions. We have no standard by which to try them. If a medical man +cannot be trusted to ascertain correctly the state of his own pulse, +how much more difficult is it for the amateur to sit in judgment on the +strength and number of the pulsations of his own heart and mind. + +The case is quite different when feelings manifest themselves in overt +acts: then they become of a nature requiring and susceptible of minute +analyzation. This is the self-scrutiny I recommend to you. + +May you be led to seek earnestly for help from above to overcome the +hydra of selfishness, and may you be encouraged, by that freely offered +help, to exert your own energies to the utmost! + +Let me urge on your especial attention the following verses from the +Bible on the subjects which we have been considering. If you selected +each one of these for a week's _practice_, making it at once a question, +a warning, and a direction, it would be a tangible, so to speak, use of +the Holy Scriptures, that has been found profitable to many:-- + +"We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and +not to please ourselves. Let every one of us please his neighbour for +his good to edification. Even Christ pleased not himself."[46] + +"The Son of Man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister."[47] + +"He died for all, that they which live should not henceforth live unto +themselves, but unto him which died for them, and rose again."[48] + +"Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things +of others."[49] + +"Let all your things be done with charity."[50] + +"By love serve one another."[51] + +"But as touching brotherly love, ye need not that I write unto you, for +ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another."[52] + +"My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue, but in +deed and in truth."[53] + +"Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. Love worketh no ill to his +neighbour, therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."[54] + +"All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so +to them."[55] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[40] Archdeacon Manning. + +[41] See Bishop Butler's Sermons. + +[42] 1 Cor. vi. 20. + +[43] Acts iv. 28. + +[44] Coleridge's Aids to Reflection. + +[45] Hannah More. + +[46] Rom. xv. 1, 2, 3. + +[47] Matt. xx. 28. + +[48] 2 Cor. v. 15. + +[49] Phil. ii. 4. + +[50] 1 Cor. xvi. 14. + +[51] Gal. v. 13. + +[52] Thess. iv. 9. + +[53] 1 John iii. 18. + +[54] Rom. xiii. 9, 10. + +[55] Matt. vii. 12. + + + + +LETTER VI. + +SELF-CONTROL. + + +You will probably think it strange that I should consider it necessary +to address you, of all others, upon the subject of self-control,--you +who are by nature so placid and gentle, so dignified and refined, that +you have never been known to display any of the outbreaks of temper +which sometimes disgrace the conduct of your companions. + +You compare yourself with others, and probably cannot help admiring your +superiority. You have, besides, so often listened to the assurances of +your friends that your temper is one that cannot be disturbed, that you +may think self-control the very last point to which your attention +needed to be directed. Self-control, however, has relation to many +things besides mere temper. In your case I readily believe that to be of +singular sweetness, though even in your case the temper itself may still +require self-control. You will esteem it perhaps a paradox when I tell +you that the very causes which preserve your temper in an external state +of equability, your refinement of mind, your self-respect, your delicate +reserve, your abhorrence of every thing unfeminine and ungraceful, may +produce exactly the contrary effect on your feelings, and provoke +internally a great deal of contempt and dislike for those whose conduct +transgresses from your exalted ideas of excellence. + +On your own account you would not allow any unkind word to express such +feelings as I have described, but you cannot or do not conceal them in +the expression of your features, in the very tones of your voice. You +further allow them free indulgence in the depths of your heart; in its +secret recesses you make no allowances for the inferiority of people so +differently constituted, educated, and disciplined from +yourself,--people whom, instead of despising and avoiding, you ought +certainly to pity, and, if possible, to sympathize with. + +In this respect, therefore, the control which I recommend to you has +reference even to your much vaunted temper, for though any outward +display of ill-breeding and petulance might be much more opposed to your +respect for yourself, any inward indulgence of the same feelings must be +equally displeasing in the sight of God, and nearly as prejudicial to +the passing on of your spirit towards being "perfect, even as your +Father which is in heaven is perfect."[56] + +Besides, though there may be no outbreak of ill-temper at the time your +annoyance is excited, nor any external manifestation of contempt even in +your expressive countenance, you will certainly be unable to preserve +kindness and respect of manner towards those whose errors and failings +are not met by internal self-control. You will be contemptuously +heedless of the assertions of those whose prevarication you have even +once experienced; those who have once taunted you with obligation will +never be again allowed to confer a favour upon you; you will avoid all +future intercourse with those whose unkind and taunting words have +wounded your refinement and self-respect. All this would contribute to +the formation of a fine character in a romance, for every thing that I +have spoken of implies your own truth and honesty, your generous nature, +your delicate and sensitive habits of mind, your dread of inflicting +pain. For all these admirable qualities I give you full credit, and, as +I said before, they would make an heroic character in a romance. In real +life, however, they, every one of them, require strict self-control to +form either a Christian character, or one that will confer peace and +happiness. You may be all that I have described, and I believe you to be +so, while, at the same time your severe judgments and unreasonable +expectations may be productive of unceasing discomfort to yourself and +all around you. Your friends plainly see that you expect too much from +them, that you are annoyed when their duller perceptions can discover no +grounds for your annoyance, that you decline their offers of service +when they are not made in exactly the refined manner your imagination +requires. Your annoyance may seldom or never express itself in words, +but it is nevertheless perceptible in the restraint of your manner, in +your carelessness of sympathy on any point with those who generally +differ from you, in the very tone of your voice, in the whole character +of your conversation. Gradually the gulf becomes wider and wider that +separates you from those among whom it has pleased God that your lot +should be cast. + +You cannot yet be at all sensible of the dangers I am now pointing out +to you. You cannot yet understand the consequences of your present want +of self-control in this particular point. The light of the future alone +can waken them out of present darkness into distinct and fatal +prominence. + +Habit has not yet formed into an isolating chain that refinement of mind +and loftiness of character which your want of self-control may convert +into misfortunes instead of blessings. Whenever, even now, a sense of +total want of sympathy forces itself upon you, you console yourself with +such thoughts as these: "Sheep herd together, eagles fly alone,"[57]&c. + +Small consolation this, even for the pain your loneliness inflicts on +yourself, still less for the breach of duties it involves. + +There must, besides, be much danger in a habit of mind that leads you to +attribute to your own superiority those very unpleasantnesses which +would have no existence if that superiority were more complete. For, in +truth, if your spiritual nature asserted its due authority over the +animal, you would habitually exercise the power which is freely offered +you, of supreme control over the hidden movements of your heart as well +as over the outward expression of the lips. + +I would strongly urge you to consider every evidence of your +isolation--of your want of sympathy with others--as marks of moral +inferiority; then, from your conscientiousness of mind, you would seek +anxiously to discover the causes of such isolation, and you would +endeavour to remove them. + +Nothing is more difficult than the perpetual self-control necessary for +this purpose. Constant watchfulness is required to subdue every feeling +of superiority in the contemplation of your own character, and constant +watchfulness to look upon the words and actions of others through, as it +were, a rose-coloured medium. The mind of man has been aptly compared to +cut glass, which reflects the very same light in various colours as well +as different shapes, according to the forms of the glass. Display then +the mental superiority of which you are justly conscious, by moulding +your mind into such forms as will represent the words and actions of +others in the most favourable point of view. The same illustration will +serve to suggest the best manner of making allowances for those whose +minds are unmanageable, because uneducated and undisciplined. They +cannot _see_ things in the same point of view that you do; how +unreasonable then is it of you to expect that they should form the same +estimate of them. + +Let us now enter into the more minute details of this subject, and +consider the many opportunities for self-control which may arise in the +course of even this one day. I will begin with moral evil. + +You may hear falsehoods asserted, you may hear your friend traduced, you +may hear unfair and exaggerated statements of the conduct of others, +given to the very people with whom they are most anxious to stand well. +These are trials to which you may be often exposed, even in domestic +life; and their judicious management, the comparative advantages to +one's friends or one's self of silence or defence, will require your +calmest judgment and your soundest discretion; qualities which of course +cannot be brought into action without complete self-control. I can +hardly expect, or, indeed, wish that you should hear the falsehoods of +which I have spoken without some risings of indignation; these, however, +must be subdued for your friend's sake as well as your own. You would +think it right to conquer feelings of anger and revenge if you were +yourself unjustly accused, and though the other excitement may bear the +appearance of more generosity, you must on reflection admit that it is +equally your duty to subdue such feelings when they are aroused by the +injuries inflicted on a friend. The happy safeguard, the _instinctive_ +test, by which the well-regulated and comparatively innocent mind may +safely try the right or the wrong of every indignant feeling is this: so +far as the feeling is painful, so far is it tainted with sin. To "be +angry and sin not,"[58] there must be no pain in the anger: pain and sin +cannot be separated: there may indeed be sorrow, but this is to be +carefully distinguished from pain. The above is a test which, after +close examination and experience, you will find to be a safe and true +one. Whenever they are thus safe and true, our instinctive feelings +ought to be gratefully made use of; thus even our animal nature may be +made to come to the assistance of our spiritual nature, against which it +is too often arrayed in successful opposition. + +I have spoken of the exceeding difficulty of exercising self-control +under such trying circumstances as those above described, and this +difficulty will, I candidly confess, be likely to increase in proportion +to your own honesty and generosity. Be comforted, however, by this +consideration, that, conflict being the only means of forming the +character into excellence, and your natural amiability averting from you +many of the usual opportunities for exercising self-control, you would +be in want of the former essential ingredient in spiritual discipline +did not your very virtues procure it for you. + +While, however, I allow you full credit for these virtues, I must insist +on a careful distinction between a mere virtue and a Christian grace. +Every virtue becomes a vice the moment it overpasses its prescribed +boundaries, the moment it is given free power to follow the bent of +animal nature, instead of being, even though a virtue, kept under the +strict control of religious principle. + +I must now suggest to you some means by which I have known self-control +to be successfully exhibited and perpetuated, with especial reference to +that annoyance which we have last considered. Instead, then, of dwelling +on the deviations from truth of which I have spoken, even when they are +to the injury of a friend, try to banish the subject from your mind and +memory; or, if you are able to think of it in the very way you please, +try to consider how much the original formation of the speaker's mind, +careless habits, and want of any disciplining education, may each and +all contribute to lessen the guilt of the person who has annoyed you. No +one knows better than yourself that tho original nature of the mind, as +well as its implanted habits, modifies every fact presented to its +notice. Still further, the point of view from which the fact or the +character has been seen may have been entirely different from yours. +These other persons may absolutely have _seen_ the thing spoken of in a +position so completely unlike your mental vision of it, that they are as +incapable of understanding your view as you may be of understanding +theirs. If sincere in your wish for improvement, you had better prove +the truth of the above assertion by the following process. Take into +your consideration any given action, not of a decidedly honourable +nature--one which, perhaps, to most people would appear of an +indifferent nature,--but to your lofty and refined notions deserving of +some degree of reprehension. You have a sufficiently metaphysical head +to be able to abstract yourself entirely from your own view of the case, +and then you can contemplate it with a total freedom from prejudice. +Such a contemplation can only be attempted when no feeling is +concerned,--feeling giving life to every peculiarity of moral sentiment, +as the heat draws out those characters which would otherwise have passed +unknown and unnoticed. I would then have you examine carefully into all +the considerations which might qualify and alter, even your own view of +the case. Dwell long and carefully upon this part of the process. It is +astonishing (incredible indeed until it is tried) how much our opinions +of the very same action may alter if we determinately confine ourselves +to the favourable aspect in which it may be viewed, keeping the contrary +side entirely out of sight. + +As soon as this has been carried to the utmost, you must further (that +my experiment may be fairly tried) endeavour to throw yourself, in +imagination, not only into the position, but also into the natural and +acquired mental and moral perceptions of the person whose action you are +taking into your consideration. For this purpose you must often +imagine--natural dimness of perception, absence of acute sensibility, +indifference to wounding the feelings of others from mere carelessness +and want of reflective powers, little natural conscientiousness, an +entire absence of the taste or the power of metaphysical examination +into the effect produced by our actions. All these natural deficiencies, +you must further consider, may in this case be increased by a totally +neglected education,--first, by the want of parental discipline, and +afterwards of that more important self-education which few people have +sufficient strength of character to subject themselves to. Lastly, I +would have you consider especially the moral atmosphere in which they +have habitually breathed: according to the nature of this the mental +health varies as certainly as the physical strength varies in a bracing +or relaxing air. A strong bodily constitution may resist longer, and +finally be less affected by a deleterious atmosphere than a weak or +diseased frame; and so it is with the mental constitution. Minds +insensibly imbibe the tone of the atmosphere in which they most +frequently dwell; and though natural loftiness of character and natural +conscientiousness may for a very long period resist such influences, it +cannot be expected that inferior natures will be able to do so. + +You are then to consider whether the habits of mind and conversation +among those who are the constant associates of the persons you blame +have been such as to cherish or to deaden keen and refined perceptions +of moral excellence and nobility of mind; still further, whether their +own literary tastes have created around them an even more penetrating +atmosphere; whether from the elevated inspirations of appreciated +poetry, from the truthful page of history, or from the stirring +excitements of romantic fiction, their heart and their imagination have +received those lofty lessons for which you judge them responsible, +without knowing whether they have ever received them. + +There is still another consideration. While the actions of those who are +not habitually under the control of high principle depend chiefly on the +physical constitution, as they are too often a mere yielding to the +immediate impulse of the senses, their judgment of men and things, on +the contrary, when uninfluenced by _personal_ feeling, depend probably +more on that keen perception of the beautiful which is the natural +instinct of a superior organization. Morality and religion will indeed +supply the place of these lofty _natural_ instincts, by giving habits of +mind which may in time become so burnt in, as it were, that they assume +the form of natural instincts, while they are at once much safer guides +and much stronger checks. + +It is surprising that a mere sense of the beautiful will often confer +the clearest perceptions of the real nature of moral excellence. You may +hear the devoted worldling, or the selfish sensualist, giving the +highest and most inspiring lessons of self-renunciation, self-sacrifice, +and devotedness to God. Their lessons, truthful and impressive, because +dictated by a keen and exquisite perception of the beautiful, which ever +harmonizes with the precepts and doctrines of Christianity, have +kindled in many a heart that living flame, which in their own has been +smothered by the fatal homage of the lips and of the feelings only, +while the actions of the life were disobedient. Often has such a writer +or speaker stood in stern and truthfully severe judgment on the weak +"brother in Christ" when he has acted or spoken with an inconsistency +which the mere instinct of the beautiful would in his censor have +prevented. Such censors, however, ought to remember that these weak +brethren, though their instincts be less lofty, their sensibility less +acute, live closer to their principles than they themselves do to their +feelings; for the moment the natural impulse, in cases where that is the +only guide, is enlisted on the side of passion, the perception of the +beautiful is entirely sacrificed to the gratification of the senses. +When the animal nature comes into collision with the spiritual, the +highest dictates of the latter will be unheeded, unless the supremacy of +the spiritual nature be habitually maintained in practice as well as in +theory. In short, that keen perception of the true and the beautiful, +which is an essential ingredient in the formation of a noble character, +becomes, in the case of the self-indulgent worldling, only an increase +of his responsibility, and a deepening dye to his guilt. At present, +however, I suppose you to be sitting in judgment on those who are +entirely destitute of the aids and the responsibilities of a keen sense +of the beautiful: by nature or by education they know or have learned +nothing of it. How different, then, from your own must be their estimate +of virtue and duty! Add this, therefore, to all the other allowances +you have to make for them, and I will answer for it that any action +viewed through this qualifying medium will entirely change its aspect, +and your blame will most frequently turn to pity, though of course you +can feel neither sympathy nor respect. + +On the other hand, the practice of dwelling only on the aggravating +circumstances of a case, will magnify into crime a trifling and +otherwise easily forgotten error. This is a fact in the mind's history +of which few people seem to be aware, and only few may be capable of +understanding. Its truth, however, may be easily proved by watching the +effect of words in irritating one person against another, and +increasing, by repeated insinuations, the apparent malignity of some +really trifling action. No one, probably, has led so blessed a life as +not to have been sometimes pained by observing one person trying to +exasperate another, who is, perhaps, rather peacefully inclined, by +pointing out all the aggravating circumstances of some probably +imaginary offence, until the listener is wrought up to a state of angry +excitement, and induced to look on that as an exaggerated offence which +would probably otherwise have passed without notice. What is in this +case the effect of another's sin is a state often produced in their own +mind by those who would be incapable of the more tangible, and therefore +more evidently sinful act of exciting the anger of one friend or +relative against another. + +The sin of which I speak is peculiarly likely to be that of a +thoughtful, reflective, and fastidious person like yourself. It is +therefore to you of the utmost importance to acquire, and to acquire at +once, complete control over your thoughts,--first, carefully +ascertaining which those are that you ought to avoid, and then guarding +as carefully against such as if they were the open semblance of positive +sin. This is really the only means by which a truthful and candid nature +like your own can ever maintain the deportment of Christian love and +charity towards those among whom your lot is cast. You must resolutely +shut your eyes against all that is unlovely in their character. If you +suffer your thoughts to dwell for a moment on such subjects, you will +find additional difficulty afterwards in forcing them away from that +which is their natural tendency, besides having probably created a +feeling against which it will be vain to struggle. It is one of the +strongest reasons for the necessity of watchful self-control, that no +mind, however powerful, can exercise a direct authority over the +feelings of the heart; they are susceptible of indirect influence alone. +This much increases the necessity of our watchfulness as to the indirect +tendencies of thoughts and words, and our accountability with respect to +them. Our anxiety and vigilance ought to be altogether greater than if +we could exercise over our feelings that direct and instantaneous +control which a strong mind can always assert in the case of words and +actions. + +Unless the indirect influence of which I have spoken were practicable, +the warnings and commands of Scripture would be a mockery of our +weakness,--a cruel satire on the helplessness of a victim whose efforts +to fulfil duty must, however strenuous, prove unavailing. The child is +commanded to honour his parent, the wife to reverence her husband; and +you are to observe attentively that there is no exception made for the +cases of those whose parents or husbands are undeserving of love and +reverence. There must, then, be a power granted, to such as ask and +_strive_ to acquire it, of closing the mental eyes resolutely against +those features in the character of the persons to whom we are bound by +the ties of duty, which would unfit us, if much dwelt upon, for +obedience in such important particulars as the love and reverence we are +commanded to feel towards them. + +Even where there is such high principle and such uncommon strength of +character as to induce perseverance in the mere external forms of +obedience, how vain are all such while the heart has turned aside from +the appointed path of duty, and broken those commands of God which, we +should always remember, have reference to feeling as well as to +action:--"Honour thy father and thy mother;"[59] "Let the wife see that +she reverence her husband."[60] + +In the habitual exercise of that self-control which I now urge upon you, +you will experience an ample fulfilment of that promise,--"The work of +righteousness shall be peace."[61] Instead of becoming daily further and +further severed from those who are indeed your inferiors, but towards +whom God has imposed duties upon you, you will daily find that, in +proportion to the difficulty of the task, will be the sweetness and the +peace rewarding its fulfilment. No affection resulting from the most +perfect sympathy of mind and heart will ever confer so deep a pleasure, +or so holy a peace, as the blind, unquestioning, "unsifting"[62] +tenderness which a strong principle of duty has cherished into +existence. + +Glorious in every way will be the final result to those who are capable +(alas! few are so) of such a course of conduct. Far different in its +effects from the blind tenderness of infatuated passion is the noble +blindness of Christian self-control. While the one warms into existence, +or at least into open manifestation, all the selfishness and wilfulness +of the fondled plaything, the other creates a thousand virtues that were +not known before. Flowers spring up from the hardest rocks, the coldest, +sternest natures are gradually softened into gentleness, the faults of +temper or of character that never meet with worrying opposition, or +exercise unforgiving influence, gradually die away, and fade from the +memory of both. The very atmosphere alone of such rare and lovely +self-control seems to have a moral influence resembling the effects of +climate upon the rude and rugged marble,--every roughness is by degrees +smoothed away, and even the colouring becomes subdued into calm harmony +with all the features of its allotted position. + +To the rarity of the virtue upon which I have so long dwelt, we may +trace the cause of almost all the domestic unhappiness we witness +whenever the veil is withdrawn from the secrets of _home_. Alas! how +often is this blessed word only the symbol of freely-indulged +ill-tempers, unresisted selfishness, or, perhaps the most dangerous of +all, exacting and unforgiving requirements. While the one party select +their home as the only scene where they may safely and freely vent their +caprices and ill-humours, the other require a stricter compliance with +their wishes, a more exact conformity with their pursuits and opinions, +than they meet with even from the temporary companions of their lighter +hours. They forget that these companions have only to exert themselves +for a short time for their gratification, and that they can then retire +to their own home, probably to be as disagreeable there as the relations +of whom the others complain. For then the mask is off, and they are at +liberty,--yes, at liberty,--freed from the inspection and the judgments +of the world, and only exposed to those of God! + +My friend, I am sure you have often shared in the pain and grief I feel, +that in so few cases should home be the blessed, peaceful spot that +poetry pictures to us. There is no real poetry that is not truth in its +purest form--truth as it appears to eyes from which the mists of sense +are cleared away. Surely our earthly homes ought to realize the +representations of poetry; they would then become each day a nearer, +though ever a faint type of, that eternal home for which our earthly +one ought daily to prepare us. + +Poetry and religion always teach the same duties, instil the same +feelings. Never believe that any thing can be truly noble or great, that +any thing can be really poetical, which is not also religious. The poet +is now partly a priest, as he was in the old heathen world; and though, +alas! he may, like Balaam, utter inspirations which his heart follows +not, which his life denies, yet, like Balaam also, his words are full of +lessons for us, though they may only make his own guilt the deeper. + +I have been led to these concluding considerations respecting poetry by +my anxiety that you should turn your refined tastes and your acute +perceptions of the beautiful to a universally moral purpose. There is no +teaching more impressive than that which comes to us through our +passions. In the moment of excited feeling stronger impressions may be +made than by any of the warnings of duty and principle. If these latter, +however, be not motives co-existent, and also in strength and exercise, +the impressions of feeling are temporary, and even dangerous. It is only +to the faithful followers of duty that the excitements of romance and +poetry are useful and improving. To such they have often given strength +and energy to tread more cheerfully and hopefully over many a rugged +path, to live more closely to their beau-ideal, a vivid vision of which +has, by poetry, been awakened and refreshed in their hearts. + +To others, on the contrary, the danger exceeds the profit. By the +excitement of admiration they may be deceived into the belief that +there must be in their own bosoms an answering spirit to the greatness, +the self-sacrifice, the pure and lofty affections they see represented +in the mirror of poetry. They are deceived, because they forget that we +have each within us two natures struggling for the mastery. As long as +we practically allow the habitual supremacy of the lower over the +higher, there can be no real excellence in the character, however a mere +sense of the beautiful may temporarily exalt the feelings, and thus +increase our responsibility, and consequent condemnation. + +I am sure you have experimentally understood the subject on which I have +been writing. I am sure you have often risen from the teaching of the +poet with enthusiasm in your heart, ready to trample upon all those +temptations and difficulties which had, perhaps an hour before, made the +path of self-denial and self-control apparently impracticable. + +Receive such intervals of excitement as heaven-sent aids, to help you +more easily over, it may be, a wearying and dreary path. They are most +probably sent in answer to prayer--in answer to the prayers of your own +heart, or to those of some pious friend. + +Our Father in heaven works constantly by earthly means, and moulds the +weakest, the often apparently useless instrument to the furtherance of +his purposes of mercy, one of which you know is your own sanctification. +It is not his holy word only that gives you appointed messages and helps +exactly suited to your need. The flower growing by the way-side, the +picture or the poem, the works of God's own hand, or the works of the +genius which he has breathed into his creature Man, may all alike bear +you messages of love, of warning, of assistance. + +Listen attentively, and you will hear--clearer still and clearer--every +day and hour. It is not by chance you take up that book, or gaze upon +that picture; you have found, because you are on the watch for it, in +the first, a suggestion that exactly suits your present need, in the +latter an excitement and an inspiration which makes some difficult +action you may be immediately called on to perform comparatively easy +and comparatively welcome. + +There is a deep and universal meaning in the vulgar[63] proverb, "Strike +while the iron is hot." If it be left to cool without your purpose being +effected, the iron becomes harder than ever, the chains of nature and of +habit are more firmly riveted. + +There are some other features of self-control to which I wish, though +more cursorily, to direct your attention. They have all some remote +bearing on your moral nature, and may exercise much influence over your +prospects in life. + +Like many other persons of a refined and sensitive organization, you +suffer from the very uncommon disease of shyness. At the very time, +perhaps, when you desire most to please, to interest, to amuse, your +over-anxiety defeats its own object. The self-possession of the +indifferent generally carries off the palm from the earnest and the +anxious. This is ridiculous; this is degrading. What you wish to do you +ought to be able to do, and you will be able, if you habitually +exercise control over the physical feelings of your nature. + +I am quite of the opinion of those who hold that shyness is a bodily as +well as a mental disease, much influenced by our state of health, as +well as by the constitutional state of the circulation; but I only put +forward this opinion respecting its origin as additional evidence that +it too may be brought under the authority of self-control. If the grace +of God, giving efficacy and help to our own exertions, can enable us to +resist the influence of indigestion and other kinds of ill-health upon +the temper and the spirits, will not the same means be found effectual +to subdue a shyness which almost sinks us to the level of the brute +creation by depriving us of the advantages of a rational will? Even this +latter distinguishing feature of humanity is prostrated before the +mysterious power of shyness. + +You understand, doubtless, the wide distinction that exists between +modesty and shyness. Modesty is always self-possessed, and therefore +clear-sighted and cool-headed. Shyness, on the contrary, is too confused +either to see or hear things as they really are, and as often assumes +the appearance of forwardness as any other disguise. Depriving its +victims of the power of being themselves, it leaves them little freedom +of choice, as to the sort of imitations the freaks of their animal +nature may lead them to attempt. You feel, with deep annoyance, that a +paroxysm of shyness has often made you speak entirely at random, and +express the very opposite sentiments to those you really feel, +committing yourself irretrievably to, perhaps, falsehood and folly, +because you could not exercise self-control. Try to bring vividly before +your mental eye all that you have suffered in the recollection of past +weaknesses of this kind, and that will give you energy and strength to +struggle habitually, incessantly, against every symptom of so painful a +disease. It is, at first, only the smaller ones that can be successfully +combated; after the strength acquired by perseverance in lesser efforts, +you may hope to overcome your powerful enemy in his very stronghold. + +Even in the quietest family life many opportunities will be offered you +of combat and of victory. False shame, the fear of being laughed at now, +or taunted afterwards, will often keep you silent when you ought to +speak; and you ought to speak very often for no other than the +sufficient reason of accustoming yourself to disregard the hampering +feeling of "What will people say?" "What do I expose myself to by making +this observation?" Follow the impulses of your own noble and generous +nature, speak the words it dictates, and then you may and ought to +trample under foot the insinuations of shyness, as to the judgments +which others may pass upon you. + +You may observe that those censors who make a coward of you can always +find something to say in blame of every action, some taunt with which to +reflect upon every word. Do not, then, suffer yourself to be hampered by +the dread of depreciating remarks being made upon your conversation or +your conduct. Such fears are one of the most general causes of shyness. +You must not suffer your mind to dwell upon them, except to consider +that taunting and depreciating remarks may and will be made on every +course of conduct you may pursue, on every word you or others may speak. + +I have myself been cured of any shackling anxiety as to "What will +people say?" by a long experience of the fact, that the remarks of the +gossip are totally irrespective of the conduct or the conversation they +gossip over. That which is blamed one moment, is highly extolled the +next, when the necessity of depreciating contrast requires the change; +and as for the _inconsequence_ of the remarks so rapidly following each +other, the gossip is "thankful she has not an argumentative head." She +is, therefore, privileged one moment to contradict the inevitable +consequences of the assertions made the moment before. + +You cannot avoid such criticisms; brave them nobly. The more you +disregard them, the more true will you be to yourself, the more free +will you be from that shyness which, though partly the result of keen +and acute perceptions and refined sensibilities, has besides a large +share of over-anxious vanity and deeply-rooted pride. + +Do not believe those who tell you that shyness will decrease of itself, +as you advance in age, and mix more in the world. There is, indeed, a +species of shyness which may thus be removed; but it is not that which +arises from a morbid refinement. This latter species, unguarded by +habitual self-control, will, on the contrary, rather increase than +decrease, as further experience shows you the numerous modes of failure, +the thousand tender points in which you may be assailed by the world +without. + +Be assured that your only hope of safety is in an early and persevering +struggle, accompanied by faith in final victory,--without that who can +have strength for conflict? Do not treat your boasted intellect so +depreciatingly as to doubt its power of giving you successful aid in +your triumph over difficulties. What has been done may be done +again,--why not by you? + +Nothing is more interesting (and also imposing) than to see a strong +mind evidently struggling against, and obtaining a victory over, the +shyness of its animal nature. The appreciative observer pays it, at the +same time, the involuntary homage which always attends success, and the +still deeper respect due to those who having been thus "Caesar unto +themselves,"[64] are also sure, in time, to conquer all external things. + +In conclusion, I must remind you that your life has, as yet, flowed on +in a smooth and untroubled course, so that you cannot from experience be +at all aware of the much greater future necessity there may be for those +habits of self-control which I am now urging upon you. But though no +overwhelming shocks, no stunning surprises, have, as yet, disturbed the +"even tenor of your way," it cannot be always thus. Alas! the time must +come when sorrows will pour in upon you like a flood, when you will be +called upon for rapid decisions, for far-sighted and comprehensive +arrangements, for various exercises of the coolest, calmest judgment, at +the very moment that present anguish and anxiety for the future are +raising whirlwinds of clouds around your mental vision. If you are not +now acquiring the power of self-control in minor affairs by managing +them judiciously under circumstances of trifling excitement or +disturbance, how will you be able to act your part with skill and +courage, when the hours of real trial overtake you? A character like +yours, as it possesses the power, so likewise is it responsible for the +duty of moving on steadily through moral clouds and storms, seeing +clearly, resisting firmly, and uninfluenced by any motives but those +suggested by your higher nature. + +The passing shadow, or the gleam of sunshine, the half-expressed sneer, +or the tempests of angry passion, the words of love and flattery, or the +cruel insinuations of envy and jealousy, may pale your cheek, or call +into it a deeper flush; may kindle your eye with indignation, or melt +its rays in sorrow; but they must not, for all that, turn you aside one +step from the path which your calm and deliberate judgment had before +marked out for you: your insensibility to such annoyances as those I +have described would show an unfeminine hardness of character; your +being influenced by them would strengthen into habit any natural +unfitness for the high duties you may probably be called on to fulfil. +When in future years you may be appealed to, by those who depend on you +alone, for guidance, for counsel, for support in warding off, or bearing +bravely, dangers, difficulties, and sorrows, you will have cause for +bitter repentance if you are unable to answer such appeals; nor can you +answer them successfully unless, in the present hours of comparative +calm, you are, in daily trifles, habituating yourself to the exercise of +self-control. Every day thus wasted now will in future cause you years +of unavailing regret. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[56] Matt. v. 48. + +[57] Sir Philip Sidney. + +[58] Eph. iv. 26. + +[59] Ex. xx. 12. + +[60] Eph. v. 33. + +[61] Isa. xxxii. 17. + +[62] + + _Maria_. How can we love?-- + + _Giovanna_ (interrupting). Mainly, by hearing none + Decry the object, then by cherishing + The good we see in it, and overlooking + What is less pleasant in the paths of life. + All have some virtue if we leave it them + In peace and quiet, all may lose some part + By sifting too minutely good and bad. + The tenderer and the timider of creatures + Often desert the brood that has been handled, + Or turned about, or indiscreetly looked at. + The slightest touches, touching constantly, + Irritate and inflame. + +LANDOR'S _Giovanna and Andrea_. + +[63] Miss Edgeworth says that proverbs are vulgar because they are +common sense. + +[64] Emerson. + + + + +LETTER VII. + +ECONOMY. + + +Perhaps there is no lesson that needs to be more watchfully and +continually impressed on the young and generous heart than the difficult +one of economy. There is no virtue that in such natures requires more +vigilant self-control and self-denial, besides the exercise of a free +judgment, uninfluenced by the excitement of feeling. + +To you this virtue will be doubly difficult, because you have so long +watched its unpleasant manifestations in a distorted form. You are +exposed to danger from that which has perverted many notions of right +and wrong; you have so long heard things called by false names that you +are inclined to turn away in disgust from a noble reality. You have been +accustomed to hear the name of economy given to penuriousness and +meanness, so that now, the wounded feelings and the refined tastes of +your nature having been excited to disgust by this system of falsehood, +you will find it difficult to realize in economy a virtue that joins to +all the noble instincts of generosity the additional features of +strong-minded self-control. + +It will therefore be necessary, before I endeavour to impress upon your +mind the duty and advantages of economy, that I should previously help +you to a clear understanding of the real meaning of the word itself. + +The difficulty of forming a true and distinct conception of the virtue +thus denominated is much increased by its being equally misrepresented +by two entirely opposite parties. The avaricious, those to whom the +expenditure of a shilling costs a real pang of regret, claim for their +mean vice the honour of a virtue that can have no existence, unless the +same pain and the same self-control were exercised in withholding, as +with them would be exercised in giving. On the other hand, the +extravagant, sometimes wilfully, sometimes unconsciously, fall into the +same error of applying to the noble self-denial of economy the degrading +misnomers of avarice, penuriousness, &c. + +It is indeed possible that the avaricious may become economical,--after +first becoming generous, which is an absolutely necessary preliminary. +That which is impossible with man is possible with God, and who may dare +to limit his free grace? This, however, is one of the wonders I have +never yet witnessed. It seems indeed that the love of money is so +literally the "root of all evil,"[65] that there is no room in the heart +where it dwells for any other growth, for any thing lovely or excellent. +The taint is universal, and while much that is amiable and interesting +may originally exist in characters containing the seeds of every other +vice, (however in time overshadowed and poisoned by such neighbourhood,) +it would seem that "the love of money" always reigns in sovereign +desolation, admitting no warm or generous feeling into the heart which +it governs. Such, however, you will at once deny to be the case of +those from whose penuriousness your early years have suffered; you know +that their character is not thus bare of virtues. But do not for this +contradict my assertion; theirs was not always innate love of money for +its own sake, though at length they may have unfortunately learned to +love it thus, which is the true test of avarice. It has, on the +contrary, been owing to the faults of others, to their having long +experienced the deprivations attendant on a want of money, that they +have acquired the habit of thinking the consciousness of its possession +quite as enjoyable as the powers and the pleasures its expenditure +bestows. They know too well the pain of want of money, but have never +learned that the real pleasure of its possession consists in its +employment.[66] It is only from habit, only from perverted experience, +that they are avaricious, therefore I at once exonerate them from the +charges I have brought against those whose very nature it is to love +money for its own sake. At the same time the strong expressions I have +made use of respecting these latter, may, I hope, serve to obviate the +suspicion that I have any indulgence for so despicable a vice, and may +induce you to expect an unprejudiced statement of the merits and the +duty of economy. + +It is carefully to be remembered that the excess of every natural virtue +becomes a vice, and that these apparently opposing qualities are only +divided from each other by almost insensible boundaries. The habitual +exercise of strong self-control can alone preserve even our virtues from +degenerating into sin, and a clear-sightedness as to the very first +step of declension must be sought for by self-denial on our own part, +and by earnest prayer for the assisting graces of the Holy Spirit, to +search the depths of our heart, and open our eyes to see. + +Thus it is that the free and generous impulses of a warm and benevolent +nature, though in themselves among the loveliest manifestations of the +merely natural character, will and necessarily must degenerate into +extravagance and self-indulgence, unless they are kept vigilantly and +constantly under the control of prudence and justice. And this, if you +consider the subject impartially, is fully as much the case when these +generous impulses are not exercised alone in procuring indulgences for +one's friends or one's self, but even when they excite you to the relief +of real suffering and pitiable distress. + +This last is, indeed, one of the severest trials of the duty of economy; +but that it is a part of that duty to resist even such temptations, will +be easily ascertained if you consider the subject coolly,--that is, if +you consider it when your feelings are not excited by the sight of a +distressed object, whose situation may be readily altered by some of +that money which you think, and think justly, is only useful, only +enjoyable, in the moment of expenditure. + +The trial is, I confess, a difficult one: it is best the decision with +respect to it should be made when your feelings are excited on the +opposite side, when some useful act of charity to the poor has +incapacitated you from meeting the demands of justice. + +I am sure your memory, ay, and your present experience too, can furnish +you with some cases of this kind. It may be that the act of generosity +was a judicious and a useful one, that the suffering would have been +great if you had not performed it; but, on the other hand, it has +disabled you from paying some bills that you knew at the very time were +lawfully due as the reward of honest labour, which had trusted to your +honour that this reward should be punctually paid. You have a keen sense +of justice as well as a warm glow of generosity; one will serve to +temper the other. Let the memory of every past occasion of this kind be +deeply impressed, not only on your mind but on your heart, by frequent +reflection on the painful thoughts that then forced themselves upon +you,--the distress of those upon whose daily labour the daily +maintenance of their family depends, the collateral distress of the +artisans employed by them, whom they cannot pay because you cannot pay, +the degradation to your own character, from the experience of your +creditors that you have expended that which was in fact not your own, +the diminished, perhaps for ever injured, confidence which they and all +who become acquainted with the circumstances will place in you, and, +finally, the probability that you have deprived some honest, +industrious, self-denying tradesman of his hardly-earned dues, to bestow +the misnamed generosity upon some object of distress, who, however real +the distress may be now, has probably deserved it by a deficiency in all +those good qualities which maintain in respectability your defrauded +creditor. The very character, too, of your creditor may suffer by your +inability to pay him, for he, miscalculating on your honesty and +truthfulness, may, on his side, have engaged to make payments which +become impossible for him, when you fail in your duty, in which case you +can scarcely calculate how far the injury to him may extend; becoming a +more permanent and serious evil than his incapacity to answer those +daily calls upon him of which I have before spoken. In short, if you +will try to bring vividly before you all the painful feelings that +passed through your mind, and all the contingencies that were +contemplated by you on any one of these occasions, you will scarcely +differ from me when I assert my belief that the name of dishonesty would +be a far more correct word than that of generosity to apply to such +actions as the above: you are, in fact, giving away the money of another +person, depriving him of his property, his time, or his goods, under +false pretences, and, in addition to this, appropriating to yourself the +pleasure of giving, which surely ought to belong by right to those to +whom the gift belongs. + +I have here considered one of the most trying cases, one in which the +withholding of your liberality becomes a really difficult duty, so +difficult that the opportunity should be avoided as much as possible; +and it is for this very purpose that the science of economy should be +diligently studied and practised, that so "you may have to give to him +that needeth," without taking away that which is due to others. Probably +in most of the cases to which I have referred your memory, some previous +acts of self-denial would have saved you from being tempted to the sin +of giving away the property of another. I would not willingly suppose +that an act of self-denial at the very time you witnessed the case of +distress might have provided you with the means of satisfying both +generosity and honesty, for, as I said before, I know you to have a keen +sense of justice; and though you have never yet been vigilant enough in +the practice of economy, I cannot believe that, with an alternative +before you, you would indulge in any personal expenditure, even bearing +the appearance of almost necessity, that would involve a failure in the +payment of your debts. I speak, then, only of acts of previous +self-denial, and I wish you to be persuaded, that unless these are +practised habitually and incessantly you can never be truly generous. A +readiness to give that which costs you nothing, that which is so truly a +superfluity that it involves no sacrifice, is a mere animal instinct, as +selfish perhaps, though more refinedly so than any other species of +self-indulgence. Generosity is a nobler quality, and one that can have +no real existence without economy and self-denial. + +I have spoken several times of the study of economy, and of the science +of economy; and I used these words advisedly. However natural and +comparatively easy it may be to some persons to form an accurate +judgment of the general average of their ordinary expenses, and of all +the contingencies that are perpetually arising, I do not believe that +you possess this power by nature: you only need, however, to force your +intellectual faculties into this direction to find that here, as +elsewhere, they may be made available for every imaginable purpose. You +have sometimes probably envied those among your acquaintance, much less +highly gifted perhaps than yourself, who have so little difficulty in +practising economy, that without any effort at all, they have always +money in hand for any unexpected exigency, as well as to fulfil all +regular demands upon their purse. It is an observation made by every +one, that among the same number of girls, some will be found to dress +better, give away more, and be better provided for sudden emergencies, +than their companions. Nor are these ordinarily the more clever girls of +one's acquaintance: I have known some who were decidedly below par as to +intellect who yet possessed in a high degree the practical knowledge of +economy. Instead of vainly lamenting your natural inferiority on such an +important point, you should seek diligently to remove it. + +An acquired knowledge of the art of economy is far better than any +natural skill therein; for the acquisition will involve the exercise of +many intellectual faculties, such as generalization, foresight, +calculation, at the same time that the moral faculties are strengthened +by the constant exercise of self-control. For, granted that the +naturally economical are neither shabbily penurious nor deficient in the +duty of almsgiving, it is still evident that it cannot be the same +effort to them to deny themselves a tempting act of liberality, or the +gratification of elegant and commendable tastes, as it must be to those +who are destitute of equally instinctive feelings as to the inadequacy +of their funds to meet demands of this nature. It is invariably true +that economy must be difficult, and therefore admirable in proportion to +the warm-heartedness and the refined tastes of those who practise it. +The highly-gifted and the generous meet with a thousand temptations to +expenditure beyond their means, of the number and strength of which the +less amiable and refined can form no adequate conception. If, however, +those above spoken of are exposed to stronger temptations than others, +they also carry within themselves the means, if properly employed, of +more powerful and skillful defence. There is, as I said before, no right +purpose, however contrary to the natural constitution of the mind, for +which intellectual powers may not be made available; and if strong +feelings render self-denial more difficult, especially in points of +charity or generosity, they, on the other hand, serve to impress more +deeply and vividly on the mind the painful self-reproach consequent to +any act of imprudence and extravagance. + +The first effort made by your intellectual powers towards acquiring a +practical knowledge of the science of economy should be the important +one of generalizing all your expenses, and then performing the same +process upon the funds that there is a fair probability of your having +at your disposal. The former is difficult, as the expenditure of even a +single person, independent of any establishment, involves so many +unforeseen contingencies, that, unless by combining the past and the +future you generalize a probable average, and then bring this average +_within_ your income, you can never experience any of the peace of mind +and readiness to meet the calls of charity which economy alone bestows. + +No one of strict justice can combine tranquillity with the indulgence of +generosity unless she lives _within_ her income. Whether the expenditure +be on a large or a small scale, it signifies little; she alone is truly +rich who has brought her wants sufficiently within the bounds of her +income to have always something to spare for unexpected contingencies. +In laying down rules for your expenditure, you will, of course, impose +upon yourself a regular dedication of a certain part of your income to +charitable purposes. This ought to be considered as entirely set apart, +as no longer your own: your opportunities must determine the exact +proportion; but the tenth, at least, of the substance which God has +given you must be considered as appropriated to his service; nor can you +hope for a blessing upon the remainder, if you withhold that which has +been distinctly claimed from you. Besides the regular allowance for the +wants of the poor, I can readily suppose that it will be a satisfaction +to you to deny yourself, from time to time, some innocent gratification, +when a greater gratification is within your reach, by laying out your +money "to make the widow's heart to sing for joy; to bring upon yourself +the blessing of him that was ready to perish."[67] Here, however, will +much watchfulness be required; you must be sure that it is only some +self-indulgence you sacrifice, and nothing of that which the claims of +justice demand. For when, after systematic, as well as present, +self-denial, you still find that you cannot afford to relieve the +distress which it pains your heart to witness, be careful to resist the +temptation of giving away that which is lawfully due to others. For the +purpose of saving suffering in one direction you may cause it in +another; and besides, you set yourself as plainly in opposition to that +which is the will of God concerning you as if your imprudent +expenditure were caused by some temptation less refined and unselfish +than the relief of real distress. The gratification that another woman +would find in a splendid dress, you derive from more exalted sources; +but if you or she purchase your gratification by an act of injustice, by +spending money that does not belong to you, you, as well as she, are +making an idol of self, in choosing to have that which the providence of +God has denied you. "The silver and the gold is mine, saith the Lord;" +and it cannot be without a special purpose, relating to the peculiar +discipline requisite for such characters, that this silver and gold is +so often withheld from those who would make the best and kindest use of +it. Murmur not, then, when this hard trial comes upon you, when you see +want and sorrow which you cannot in justice to others relieve; and when +you see thousands, at the very moment you experience this generous +suffering, expended on entirely selfish, perhaps sinful gratifications, +neither be tempted to murmur or to act unjustly. "Is it not the Lord;" +has not he in his infinite love and infinite wisdom appointed this very +trial for you? Bow your head and heart in submission, and dare not to +seek an escape from it by one step out of the path of duty. It may be +that close examination, a searching of the stores of memory, will bring +even this trial under the almost invariable head of needful +chastisement; it may be that it is the consequence of some former act of +self-indulgence and extravagance, which would have been forgotten, or +not deeply enough repented of, unless your sin had in this way been +brought to remembrance. Thus even this trial assumes the invariable +character of all God's chastisements: it is the inevitable consequence +of sin,--as inevitable as the relation of cause and effect. It results +from no special interposition of Providence, but is the natural result +of those decrees upon which the whole system of the world is founded; +secondarily, however, overruled to work together for good to the +penitent sinner, by impressing more deeply on his mind the humbling +remembrance of past sin, and leading to a more watchful future avoidance +of the same. + +It is indeed probable, that without many trials of this peculiarly +painful kind, the duty of economy could not be deeply enough impressed +on a naturally generous and warm heart. The restraints of prudence would +be unheeded, unless bitter experience, as it were, burned them in. + +I have spoken of two necessary preparations for the practice of +economy,--the first, a clear general view of our probable expenses; the +second, which I am now about to notice, is the calculation of the +probable funds that are to meet these expenses. In your case, there is a +certain income, with sundry contingencies, very much varying, and +altogether uncertain. Such probabilities, then, as the latter, ought to +be appropriated to such expenses as are occasional and not inevitable: +you must never calculate on them for any of your necessary expenditure, +except in the same average manner as you have calculated that +expenditure; and you must estimate the average considerably within +probabilities, or you will be often thrown into discomfort. It is much +better that all indulgences of mere taste, of entirely personal +gratification, should be dependent on this uncertain fund; and here +again I would warn you to keep in view the more pressing wants that may +arise in the future. The gratification in which you are now indulging +yourself may be a perfectly innocent one; but are you quite sure that +you are not expending more money than _you_ can prudently, or, to speak +better, conscientiously afford, on that which offers only a temporary +gratification, and involves no improvement or permanent benefit? You +certainly are not sufficiently rich to indulge in any merely temporary +gratification, except in extreme moderation. With relation to that part +of your income which is varying and uncertain, I have observed that it +is a very common temptation assailing the generous and thoughtless, +(about money matters, often those who are least thoughtless about other +things,) that there is always some future prospect of an increase of +income, which is to free them from present embarrassments, and enable +them to pay for the enjoyment of all those wishes that they are now +gratifying. It is a future, however, that never arrives; for every +increase of property brings new claims or new wants along with it; and +it is found, too late, that, by exceeding present income, we have +destroyed both the present and the future, we have created wants which +the future income will find a difficulty in supplying, having in +addition its own new ones to provide for. + +It may indeed in a few, a very few, cases be necessary, in others +expedient, to forestall that money which we have every certainty of +presently possessing; but unless the expenditure relates to particulars +coming under the term of "daily bread," it appears to me decided +dishonesty to lay out an uncertain future income. Even if it should +become ours, have we not acted in direct contradiction to the revealed +will of God concerning us? The station of life in which God has placed +us depends very much on the expenditure within our power; and if we +double that, do we not in fact choose wilfully for ourselves a different +position from that which he has appointed, and withdraw from under the +guiding hand of his providence? Let us not hope that even temporal +success will be allowed to result from such acts of disobedience. + +What a high value does it stamp on the virtue of economy, when we thus +consider it as one of the means towards enabling us to submit ourselves +to the will of God! + +I cannot close a letter to a woman on the subject of economy without +referring to the subject of dress. Though your strongest temptations to +extravagance may be those of a generous, warm heart, I have no doubt +that you are also, though in an inferior degree, tempted by the desire +to improve your personal appearance by the powerful aid of dress. It +ought not to be otherwise; you should not be indifferent to a very +important means of pleasing. Your natural beauty would be unavailing +unless you devoted both time and care to its preservation and adornment. +You should be solicitous to win the affection of those around you; and +there are many who will be seriously influenced by any neglect of due +attention to your personal appearance. Besides the insensible effect +produced on the most ignorant and unreasonable spectator, those whom you +will most wish to please will look upon it, and with justice, as an +index to your mind; and a simple, graceful, and well-ordered exterior +will always give the impression that similar qualities exist within. +Dressing well is some a natural and easy accomplishment; to others, who +may have the very same qualities existing in their minds without the +power (which is in a degree mechanical) of displaying the same outward +manifestation of them, it will be much more difficult to attain the same +object with the same expense. Your study, therefore, of the art of dress +must be a double one,--must first enable you to bring the smallest +details of your apparel into as close conformity as possible to the +forms and tastes of your mind, and, secondly, enable you to reconcile +this exercise of taste with the duties of economy. If fashion is to be +consulted as well as taste, I fear that you will find this impossible; +if a gown or a bonnet is to be replaced by a new one, the moment a +slight alteration takes place in the fashion of the shape or the colour, +you will often be obliged to sacrifice taste as well as duty. Rather +make up your mind to appear no richer than you are; if you cannot afford +to vary your dress according to the rapidly--varying fashions, have the +moral courage to confess this in action. Nor will your appearance lose +much by the sacrifice. If your dress is in accordance with true taste, +the more valuable of your acquaintance will be able to appreciate that, +while they would be unconscious of any strict and expensive conformity +to the fashions of the month. Of course, I do not speak now of any +glaring discrepancy between your dress and the general costume of the +time. There could be no display of a simple taste while any singularity +in your dress attracted notice; neither could there be much additional +expense in a moderate attention to the prevailing forms and colours of +the time,--for bonnets and gowns do not, alas, last for ever. What I +mean to deprecate is the laying aside any one of these, which is +suitable in every other respect, lest it should reveal the secret of +your having expended nothing upon dress during this season. Remember how +many indulgences to your generous nature would be procured by the price +of, a fashionable gown or bonnet, and your feelings will provide a +strong support to your duty. Another way in which you may successfully +practise economy is by taking care of your clothes, having them repaired +in proper time, and neither exposing them to sun or rain unnecessarily. +A ten-guinea gown may be sacrificed in half an hour, and the indolence +of your disposition would lead you to prefer this sacrifice to the +trouble of taking any preservatory precautions, or thinking about the +matter at all. Is this right? Even if you can procure money to satisfy +the demands of mere carelessness, are you acting as a faithful steward +by thus expending it? I willingly grant to you that some women are so +wealthy, placed in situations requiring so much representation, that it +would be degrading to them to take much thought about any thing but the +beauty and fashion of their clothes; and that an anxiety on their part +about the preservation of, to them, trifles would indicate meanness and +parsimoniousness. Their office is to encourage trade by a lavish +expenditure, conformable to the rank in life in which God has placed +them. Happy are they if this wealth do not become a temptation too hard +to be overcome! Happier those from whom such temptations, denounced in +the word of God more strongly than any other, are entirely averted! + +This is your position; and as much as it is the duty of the very wealthy +to expend proportionally upon their dress, so is it yours to be +scrupulously economical, and to bring down your aspiring thoughts from +the regions of poetry and romance to the homely duties of mending and +caretaking. There will be poetry and romance too in the generous and +useful employment you may make of the money thus economised. Besides, if +you do not yet see that they exist in the smallest and homeliest of +every-day cares, it is only because your mind has not been sufficiently +developed by experience to find poetry and romance in every act of +self-control and self-denial. + +There is, I believe, a general idea that genius and intellectual +pursuits are inconsistent with the minute observations and cares that I +have been recommending; and by nature perhaps they are so. The memoirs +of great men are filled with anecdotes of their incompetency for +commonplace duties, their want of observation, their indifference to +details: you may observe, however, that such men were great in learning +alone; they never exhibited that union of action and thought which is +essential to constitute a heroic character. + +We read that a Charlemagne and a Wallenstein could stoop, in the midst +of their vast designs and splendid successes, to the cares of selling +the eggs of their poultry-yard,[68] and of writing minute directions +for its more skilful management.[69] A proper attention to the repair +of the strings of your gowns or the ribbons of your shoes could scarcely +be farther, in comparison, beneath your notice. + +The story of Sir Isaac Newton's cat and kitten has often made you smile; +but it is no smile of admiration: such absence of mind is simply +ridiculous. If, indeed, you should refer to its cause you may by +reflection ascertain that the concentration of thought secured by such +abstraction, in his particular case, may have been of use to mankind in +general; but you must at the same time feel that he, even a Sir Isaac +Newton, would have been a greater man had his genius been more +universal, had it extended from the realms of thought into those of +action. + +With women the same case is much stronger; their minds are seldom, if +ever, employed on subjects the importance and difficulty of which might +make amends for such concentration of thought as would necessarily, +except in first-rate minds, produce abstraction and inattention to +homely every-day duties. + +Even in the case of a genius, one of most rare occurrence, an attention +to details, and thoughtfulness respecting them, though certainly more +difficult, is proportionally more admirable than in ordinary women. + +It was said of the wonderful Elizabeth Smith, that she equally excelled +in every department of life, from the translation of the most difficult +passages of the Hebrew Bible down to the making of a pudding. You should +establish it as a practical truth in your mind, that, with a strong +will, the intellectual powers may be turned into every imaginable +direction, and lead to excellence in one as surely as in another. + +Even where the strong will is wanting, and there may not be the same +mechanical facility that belongs to more vigorous organizations, every +really useful and necessary duty is still within the reach of all +intellectual women. Among these, you can scarcely doubt that the science +of economy, and that important part of it which consists in taking care +of your clothes, is within the power of every woman who does not look +upon it as beneath her notice. This I suppose you do not, as I know you +to take a rational and conscientious view of the minor duties of life, +and that you are anxious to fulfil those of exactly "that state of life +unto which it has pleased God to call you."[70] + +I must not close this letter without adverting to an error into which +those of your sanguine temperament would be the most likely to fall. + +You will, perhaps--for it is a common progress--run from one extreme to +another, and from having expended too large a proportion of your income +on personal decoration, you may next withdraw even necessary attention +from it. "All must be given to the poor," will be the decision of your +own impulses and of over-strained views of duty. + +This, however, is, in an opposite direction, quitting the station of +life in which God has placed you, as much as those do who indulge in an +expenditure of double their income. Your dressing according to your +station in life is as much in accordance with the will of God +concerning you, as your living in a drawing-room instead of a kitchen, +in a spacious mansion instead of a peasant's cottage. Besides, as you +are situated, there is another consideration with respect to your dress +which must not be passed over in silence. The allowance you receive is +expressly for the purpose of enabling you to dress properly, suitably, +and respectably; and if you do not in the first place fulfil the purpose +of the donor, you are surely guilty of a species of dishonesty. You have +no right to indulge personal feeling, or gratify a mistaken sense of +duty, by an expenditure of money for a different purpose from that for +which it was given to you; nor even, were your money exclusively your +own, would you have a right to disregard the opinions of your friends by +dressing in a different manner from them, or from what they consider +suitable for you. If you thus err, they will neither allow you to +exercise any influence over them, nor will they be at all prejudiced in +favour of the, it may be, stricter religious principles which you +profess, when they find them lead to unnecessary singularity, and to +disregard of the feelings and wishes of those around you. It is +therefore your duty to dress like a lady, and not like a peasant +girl,--not only because the former is the station in life God himself +has chosen for you, but also because you have no right to lay out other +people's money on your own devices; and, lastly, because it is your +positive duty, in this as in all other points, to consult and consider +the reasonable wishes and opinions of those with whom God has connected +you by the ties of blood or friendship. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[65] 1 Tim. vi. 10. + +[66] The saying of the "Great Captain," Gonsalvo di Cordova. + +[67] Job xxix. 13. + +[68] Montesquieu. Esprit des Lois. + +[69] Colonel Mitchell's Life of Wallenstein. + +[70] The Church Catechism. + + + + +LETTER VIII. + +THE CULTIVATION OF THE MIND. + + +In writing to you upon the subject of mental cultivation, it would seem +scarcely necessary to dwell for a moment on its advantages; it would +seem as if, in this case at least, I might come at once to the point, +and state to you that which appears to me the best manner of attaining +the object in view. Experience, however, has shown me, that even into +such minds as yours, doubts will often obtain admittance, sometimes from +without, sometimes self-generated, as to the advantages of intellectual +education for women. The time will come, even if you have never yet +momentarily experienced it, when, saddened by the isolation of +superiority, and witnessing the greater love or the greater prosperity +acquired by those who have limited or neglected intellects, you may be +painfully susceptible to the slighting remarks on clever women, learned +ladies, &c., which will often meet your ear,--remarks which you will +sometimes hear from uneducated women, who may seem to be in the +enjoyment of much more peace and happiness than yourself, sometimes from +well-educated and sensible men, whose opinions you justly value. I fear, +in short, that even you may at times be tempted to regret having +directed your attention and devoted your early days to studies which +have only attracted envy or suspicion; that even you may some day or +other attribute to the pursuits which are now your favourite ones those +disappointments and unpleasantnesses which doubtless await your path, as +they do that of every traveller along life's weary way. This +inconsistency may indeed be temporary; in a character such as yours it +must be temporary, for you will feel, on reflection, that nothing which +others have gained, even were your loss of the same occasioned by your +devotion to your favourite pursuits, could make amends to you for their +sacrifice. A mind that is really susceptible of culture must either +select a suitable employment for the energies it possesses, or they will +find some dangerous occupation for themselves, and eat away the very +life they were intended to cherish and strengthen. I should wish you to +be spared, however, the humiliation of even temporary regrets, which, at +the very least, must occasion temporary loss of precious hours, and a +decrease of that diligent labour for improvement which can only be kept +in an active state of energy by a deep and steady conviction of its +nobleness and utility; further still, (which would be worse than the +temporary consequences to yourself,) at such times of despondency you +might be led to make admissions to the disadvantage of mental +cultivation, and to depreciate those very habits of study and +self-improvement which it ought to be one of the great objects of your +life to recommend to all. You might thus discourage some young beginner +in the path of self-cultivation, who, had it not been for you, might +have cheered a lonely way by the indulgence of healthy, natural tastes, +besides exercising extensive beneficial influence over others. Your +incautious words, doubly dangerous because they seem to be the result +of experience, may be the cause of such a one's remaining in useless and +wearisome, because uninterested idleness. That you may guard the more +successfully against incurring such responsibilities, you should without +delay begin a long and serious consideration, founded on thought and +observation, both as to the relative advantages of ignorance and +knowledge. When your mind has been fully made up on the point, after the +careful examination I recommend to you, you must lay your opinion aside +on the shelf, as it were, and suffer it no longer to be considered as a +matter of doubt, or a subject for discussion. You can then, when +temporarily assailed by weak-minded fears, appeal to the former +dispassionate and unprejudiced decision of your unbiassed mind. To one +like you, there is no safer appeal than that from a present excited, and +consequently prejudiced self, to another dispassionate, and consequently +wiser self. Let us then consider in detail what foundation there may be +for the remarks that are made to the depreciation of a cultivated +intellect, and illustrate their truth or falsehood by the examples of +those upon whose habits of life we have an opportunity of exercising our +observation. + +First, then, I would have you consider the position and the character of +those among your unmarried friends who are unintellectual and +uncultivated, and contrast them with those who have by education +strengthened natural powers and developed natural capabilities: among +these, it is easy for you to observe whose society is the most useful +and the most valued, whose opinion is the most respected, whose example +is the most frequently held up to imitation,--I mean by those alone +whose esteem is worth possessing. The giddy, the thoughtless, and the +uneducated may indeed manifest a decided preference for the society of +those whose pursuits and conversation are on a level with their own +capacity; but you surely cannot regret that they should even manifestly +(which however is not often ventured upon) shrink from your society. +"Like to like" is a proverb older than the time of Dante, whose answer +it was to Can della Scala, when reproached by him that the society of +the most frivolous persons was more sought after at court than that of +the poet and philosopher. "Given the amuser, the amusee must also be +given."[71] You surely ought not to regret the _cordon sanitaire_ which +protects you from the utter weariness, the loss of time, I might almost +add of temper, which uncongenial society would entail upon you. In the +affairs of life, you must generally make up your mind as to the good +that deserves your preference, and resolutely sacrifice the inferior +advantage which cannot be enjoyed with the greater one. You must +consequently give up all hope of general popularity, if you desire that +your society should be sought and valued, your opinion respected, your +example followed, by those whom you really love and admire, by the wise +and good, by those whose society you can yourself in your turn enjoy. +You must not expect that at the same time you should be the favourite +and chosen companion of the worthless, the frivolous, the uneducated; +you ought not, indeed, to desire it. Crush in its very birth that mean +ambition for popularity which might lead you on to sacrifice time and +tastes, alas! sometimes even principles, to gain the favour and applause +of those whose society ought to be a weariness to you. Nothing, besides, +is more injurious to the mind than a studied sympathy with mediocrity: +nay, without any "study," any conscious effort to bring yourself down to +their level, your mind must insensibly become weakened and tainted by a +surrounding atmosphere of ignorance and stupidity, so that you would +gradually become unfitted for that superior society which you are formed +to love and appreciate. It is quite a different case when the +dispensations of Providence and the exercise of social duties bring you +into contact with uncongenial minds. Whatever is a duty will be made +safe to you: it can only be from your own voluntary selection that any +unsuitable association becomes injurious and dangerous. Notwithstanding, +however, that it may be laid down as a general rule that the wise will +prefer the society of the wise, the educated that of the educated, it +sometimes happens that highly intellectual and cultivated persons +select, absolutely by their own choice, the frivolous and the ignorant +for their constant companions, though at the same time they may refer to +others for counsel, and direction, and sympathy. Is this choice, +however, made on account of the frivolity and ignorance of the persons +so selected? I am sure it is not. I am sure, if you inquire into every +case of this kind, you will see for yourself that it is not. Such +persons are thus preferred, sometimes on account of the fairness of +their features, sometimes on account of the sweetness of their temper, +sometimes for the lightheartedness which creates an atmosphere of +joyousness around them, and insures their never officiously obtruding +the cares and anxieties of this life upon their companions. Do not, +then, attribute to want of intellect those attractions which only need +to be combined with intellect to become altogether irresistible, but +which, however, I must confess, it may have an insensible influence in +destroying. For instance, the sweetness, of the temper is seldom +increased by increased refinement of mind; on the contrary, the latter +serves to quicken susceptibility and render perception more acute; and +therefore, unless it is guarded by an accompanying increase of +self-control, it will naturally produce an alteration for the worse in +the temper. This is one point. For the next, personal beauty may be +injured by want of exercise, neglect of health, or of due attention to +becoming apparel, which errors are often the results of an injudicious +absorption in intellectual pursuits. Lastly, a thoughtful nature and +habit of mind must of course induce a quicker perception, and a more +frequent contemplation of the sorrows and dangers of this mortal life, +than the volatile and thoughtless nature and habit of mind have any +temptation to; and thus persons of the former class are often induced, +sometimes usefully, sometimes unnecessarily, but perhaps always +disagreeably, to intrude the melancholy subjects of their own +meditations upon the persons with whom they associate, often making +their society evidently unpleasant, and, if possible, carefully avoided. +It is, however, unjust to attribute any of the inconveniences just +enumerated to those intellectual pursuits which, if properly pursued, +would prove effectual in improving, nay, even in bestowing, +intelligence, prudence, tact, and self-control, and thus preserving from +those very inconveniences to which I have referred above. Be it your +care to win praise and approbation for the habits of life you have +adopted, by showing that such are the effects they produce in you. By +your conduct you may prove that, if your perceptions have been quickened +and your sensibilities rendered more acute, you have at the same time, +and by the same means, acquired sufficient self-control to prevent +others from suffering ill-effects from that which would in such a case +be only a fancied improvement in yourself. Further, let it be your care +to bestow more attention than before on that external form which you are +now learning to estimate as the living, breathing type of that which is +within. Finally, while your increased thoughtfulness and the developed +powers of your reason will give you an insight in dangers and evils +which others never dream of, be careful to employ your knowledge only +for the improvement or preservation of the happiness of your friends. +Guard within your own breast, however you may long for the relief of +giving a free vent to your feelings, any sorrows or any apprehensions +that cannot be removed or obviated by their revelation. Thus will you +unite in yourself the combined advantages of the frivolous and +intellectual; your society will be loved and sought after as much as +that of the first can be, (only, however, by the wise and good--my +assertion extends no further,) and you will at the same time be +respected, consulted, and imitated, as the clever and educated can alone +be. + +I have hitherto spoken only of the unmarried among your acquaintance: +let us now turn to the wives and mothers, and observe, with pity, the +position of her, who, though she may be well and fondly loved, is felt +at the same time to be incapable of bestowing sympathy or counsel. It is +indeed, perhaps, the wife and mother who is the best loved who will at +the same time be made the most deeply to feel her powerlessness to +appreciate, to advise, or to guide: the very anxiety to hide from her +that it is the society, the opinion, and the sympathy of others which is +really valued, because it alone can be appreciative, will make her only +the more sensibly aware that she is deficient in the leading qualities +that inspire respect and produce usefulness. + +She must constantly feel her unfitness to take any part in the society +that suits the taste of her more intellectual husband and children. She +must observe that they are obliged to bring down their conversation to +her level, that they are obliged to avoid, out of deference to, and +affection for her, all those varied topics which make social intercourse +a useful as well as an agreeable exercise of the mental powers, an often +more improving arena of friendly discussion than perhaps any professed +debating society could be. No such employment of social intercourse can, +however, be attempted when one of the heads of the household is +uneducated and unintellectual. The weather must form the leading, and +the only safe topic of conversation; for the gossip of the +neighbourhood, commented on in the freedom and security of family life, +imparts to all its members a petty censoriousness of spirit that can +never afterwards be entirely thrown off. Then the education of the +children of such a mother as I have described must be carried on under +the most serious disadvantages. Money in abundance may be at her +disposal, but that is of little avail when she has no power of forming a +judgment as to the abilities of the persons so lavishly paid for forming +the minds of the children committed to their charge: the precious hours +of their youth will thus be very much wasted; and when self-education, +in some few cases, comes in time to repair these early neglects, there +must be reproachful memories of that ignorance which placed so many +needless difficulties in the path to knowledge and advancement. + +It is not, however, those alone who are bound by the ties of wife and +mother, whose intellectual cultivation may exercise a powerful influence +in their social relations: each woman in proportion to her mental and +moral qualifications possesses a useful influence over all those within +her reach. Moral excellence alone effects much: the amiable, the loving, +and the unselfish almost insensibly dissuade from evil, and persuade to +good, those who have the good fortune to be within the reach of such +soothing influences. Their persuasions are, however, far more powerful +when vivacity, sweetness, and affection are given weight to by strong +natural powers of mind, united with high cultivation. Of all the +"talents" committed to our stewardship, none will require to be so +strictly accounted for as those of intellect. The influence that we +might have acquired over our fellow-men, thus winning them over to think +of and practise "all things lovely and of good report," if it be +neglected, is surely a sin of deeper dye than the misemployment of mere +money. The disregard of those intellectual helps which we might have +bestowed on others, and thus have extensively benefited the cause of +religion, one of whose most useful handmaids is mental cultivation, will +surely be among the most serious of the sins of omission that will swell +our account at the last day. The intellectual Dives will not be punished +only for the misuse of his riches, as in the case of a Byron or a +Shelley; the neglect of their improvement, by employing them for the +good of others, will equally disqualify him for hearing the final +commendation of "Well done, good and faithful servant."[72] This, +however, is not a point on which I need dwell at any length while +writing to you: you are aware, fully, I believe, of the responsibilities +entailed upon you by the natural powers you possess. It is from worldly +motives of dissuasion, and not from any ignorance with regard to that +which you know to be your duty, that you may be at times induced to +slacken your exertions in the task of self-improvement. You will not be +easily persuaded that it is not your duty to educate yourself; the doubt +that will be more easily instilled into your mind will be respecting the +possible injury to your happiness or worldly advancement by the increase +of your knowledge and the improvement of your mind. Look, then, again +around you, and see whether the want of employment confers happiness, +carefully distinguishing, however, between that happiness which results +from natural constitution and that which results from acquired habits. +It is true that many of the careless, thoughtless girls you are +acquainted with enjoy more happiness, such as they are capable of, in +mornings and evenings spent at their worsted-work, than the most +diligent cultivation of the intellect can ever insure to you. But the +question is, not whether the butterfly can contentedly dispense with the +higher instincts of the industrious, laborious, and useful bee, but +whether the superior creature could content itself with the insipid and +objectless pursuits of the lower one. The mind requires more to fill it +in proportion to the largeness of its grasp: hope not, therefore, that +you could find either their peace or their satisfaction in the +purse-netting, embroidering lives of your thoughtless companions. Even +to them, be sure, hours of deep weariness must come: no human being, +whatever her degree on the scale of mind, is capable of being entirely +satisfied with a life without object and without improvement. Remember, +however, that it is not at all by the comparative contentedness of their +mere animal existence that you can test the qualifications of a habit of +life to constitute your own happiness; that must stand on a far +different basis. + +In the case of a very early marriage, there may be indeed no opportunity +for the weariness of which I have above spoken. The uneducated and +uncultivated girl who is removed from the school-room to undertake the +management of a household may not fall an early victim to _ennui_; that +fate is reserved for her later days. Household details (which are either +degrading or elevating according as they are attended to as the +favourite occupations of life, or, on the other hand, skilfully managed +as one of its inevitable and important duties) often fill the mind even +more effectually to the exclusion of better things than worsted-work or +purse-netting would have done. The young wife, if ignorant and +uneducated, soon sinks from the companion of her husband, the guide and +example of her children, into the mere nurse and housekeeper. A clever +upper-servant would, in nine cases out of ten, fulfil all the offices +which engross her time and interest a thousand times better than she can +herself. For her, however, even for the nurse and housekeeper, the time +of _ennui_ must come; for her it is only deferred. The children grow up, +and are scattered to a distance; requiring no further mechanical cares, +and neither employing time nor exciting the same kind of interest as +formerly. The mere household details, however carefully husbanded and +watchfully self-appropriated, will not afford amusement throughout the +whole day; and, utterly unprovided with subjects for thought or objects +of occupation, life drags on a wearisome and burdensome chain. We have +all seen specimens of this, the most hopeless and pitiable kind of +_ennui_, when the time of acquiring habits of employment, and interest +in intellectual pursuits is entirely gone, and resources can neither be +found in the present, or hoped for in the future. Hard is the fate of +those who are bound to such victims by the ties of blood and duty. They +must suffer, secondhand, all the annoyances which _ennui_ inflicts on +its wretched victims. No natural sweetness of temper can long resist the +depressing influence of dragging on from day to day an uninterested, +unemployed existence; and besides, those who can find no occupation for +themselves will often involuntarily try to lessen their own discomfort +by disturbing the occupations of others. This species of _ennui_, of +which the sufferings begin in middle-life and often last to extreme old +age, (as they have no tendency to shorten existence,) is far more +pitiable than that from which the girl or the young woman suffers before +her matron-life begins. Then hope is always present to cheer her on to +endurance; and there is, besides, at that time, a consciousness of power +and energy to change the habits of life into such as would enable her to +brave all future fears of _ennui_. It is of great importance, however, +that these habits should be acquired immediately; for though they may be +equally possible of acquisition in the later years of youth, there are +in the mean time other dangerous resources which may tempt the +unoccupied and uninterested girl into their excitements. Those whose +minds are of too active and vivacious a nature to live on without an +object, may too easily find one in the dangerous and selfish amusements +of coquetry--in the seeking for admiration, and its enjoyment when +obtained. The very woman who might have been the most happy herself in +the enjoyment of intellectual pursuits, and the most extensively useful +to others, is often the one who, from misdirected energies and feeling, +will pursue most eagerly, be most entirely engrossed by, the delights of +being admired and loved by those to whom in return she is entirely +indifferent. Having once acquired the habit of enjoying the selfish +excitement, the simple, safe, and ennobling employments of +self-cultivation, of improving others, are laid aside for ever, because +the power of enjoying them is lost. Do not be offended if I say that +this is the fate I fear for you. At the present moment, the two paths of +life are open before you; youth, excitement, the example of your +companions, the easiness and the pleasure of the worldling's career, +make it full of attractions for you. Besides, your conscience does not +perhaps speak with sufficient plainness as to its being the career of +the worldling; you can find admirers enough, and give up to them all the +young, fresh interests of your active mind, all the precious time of +your early youth, without ever frequenting the ball-room, or the +theatre, or the race-course,--nay, even while professedly avoiding them +on principle: we know, alas! that the habits of the selfish and +heartless coquette are by no means incompatible with an outward +profession of religion. + +It is to save you from any such dangers that I earnestly press upon you +the deliberate choice and immediate adoption of a course of life in +which the systematic, conscientious improvement of your mind should +serve as an efficacious preservation from all dangerously exciting +occupations. You should prepare yourself for this deliberate choice by +taking a clear and distinct view of your object and your motives. Can +you say with sincerity that they are such as the following,--that of +acquiring influence over your fellow-creatures, to be employed for the +advancement of their eternal interests--that of glorifying God, and of +obtaining the fulfilment of that promise, "They that turn many to +righteousness shall shine as the stars for ever and ever."[73] If this +be the case, your choice must be a right and a noble one; and you will +never have reason to repent of it, either in this world or the next. +Among the collateral results of this conscientious choice will be a +certain enjoyment of life, more independent of either health or external +circumstances than any other can be, and the lofty self-respect arising +from a consciousness of never having descended to unworthy methods of +amusement and excitement. + +To attain, however, to the pleasures of intellectual pursuits, and to +acquire from them the advantages of influence and respect, is quite a +distinct thing from the promiscuous and ill-regulated habits of reading +pursued by most women. Women who read at all, generally read more than +men; but, from the absence of any intellectual system, they neither +acquire well-digested information, nor, what is of far more importance, +are the powers of their mind strengthened by exercise. I have known +women read for six hours a day, and, after all, totally incapable of +enlightening the inquirer upon any point of history or literature; far +less would they be competent to exercise any process of reasoning, with +relation either to the business of life or the occurrences of its social +intercourse. How many difficulties and annoyances in the course of +every-day life might be avoided altogether if women were early exercised +in the practice of bringing their reasoning powers to bear upon the +small duties and the petty trials that await every hour of our +existence! Their studies are altogether useless, unless they are pursued +with the view of acquiring a sounder judgment, and quicker and more +accurate perceptions of the every-day details of business and duty. That +knowledge is worse than useless which does not lead to wisdom. To +women, more especially, as their lives can never be so entirely +speculative as those of a few learned men may justifiably be, the great +object in study is the manner in which they can best bring to bear each +acquisition of knowledge upon the improvement of their own character or +that of others. The manner in which they may most effectually promote +the welfare of their fellow-creatures, and how, as the most effectual +means to that end, they can best contribute to their daily and hourly +happiness and improvement,--these, and such as these, ought to be the +primary objects of all intellectual culture. Mere reading would never +accomplish this; mere reading is no more an intellectual employment than +worsted-work or purse-netting. It is true that none of these latter +employments are without their uses; they may all occupy the mind in some +degree, and soothe it, if it were only by creating a partial distraction +from the perpetual contemplation of petty irritating causes of disquiet. +But while we acknowledge that they are all good in their way for people +who can attain nothing better, we must be careful not to fall into the +mistake of confounding the best of them, viz. _mere_ reading, with +intellectual pursuits: if we do so, the latter will be involved in the +depreciation that often falls upon the former when it is found neither +to improve the mind or the character, nor to provide satisfactory +sources of enjoyment. + +There is a great deal of truth in the well-known assertion of Hobbes, +however paradoxical it may at first appear: "If I had read as much as +others, I should be as ignorant." One cannot but feel its applicability +in the case of some of our acquaintance, who have been for years mere +readers at the rate of five or six hours a day. One of these same hours +daily well applied would have made them more agreeable companions and +more useful members of society than a whole life of their ordinary +reading. + +There must be a certain object of attainment, or there will be no +advance: unless we have decided what the point is that we desire to +reach, we never can know whether the wind blows favourably for us or +not. + +In my next letter, I mean to enter fully into many details as to the +best methods of study; but during the remainder of this, I shall confine +myself to a general view of the nature of that foundation which must +first be laid, before any really valuable or durable superstructure can +be erected. + +The first point, then, to which I wish your attention to be directed is +the improvement of the mind itself,--point of far more importance than +the furniture you put into it. This improvement can only be effected by +exercising deep thought with respect to all your reading, assimilating +the ideas and the facts provided by others until they are blended into +oneness with the forms of your own mind. + +During your hours of study, it is of the utmost importance that no page +should ever be perused without carefully subjecting its contents to the +thinking process of which I have spoken: unless your intellect is +actively employed while you are professedly studying, your time is worse +than wasted, for you are acquiring habits of idleness, that will be most +difficult to lay aside. + +You should always be engaged in some work that affords considerable +exercise to the mind--some book over the sentences of which you are +obliged to pause, to ponder--some kind of study that will cause the +feeling of almost physical fatigue; when, however, this latter sensation +comes on, you must rest; the brain is of too delicate a texture to bear +the slightest over-exertion with impunity.[74] Premature decay of its +powers, and accompanying bodily weakness and suffering, will inflict +upon you a severe penalty for any neglect of the symptoms of mental +exhaustion.[75] Your mind, however, like your body, ought to be +exercised to the very verge of fatigue; you cannot otherwise be certain +that there has been exercise sufficient to give increased strength and +energy to the mental or physical powers. + +The more vigorous such exercise is, the shorter will be the time you can +support it. Perhaps even an hour of close thinking would be too much for +most women; the object, however, ought not to be so much the quantity as +the quality of the exercise. If your peculiarly delicate and sensitive +organization cannot support more than a quarter of an hour's continuous +and concentrated thought, you must content yourself with that. +Experience will soon prove to you that even the few minutes thus +employed will give you a great superiority over the six-hours-a-day +readers of your acquaintance, and will serve as a solid and sufficient +foundation for all the lighter superstructure which you will afterwards +lay upon it. This latter, in its due place, I should consider as of +nearly as much importance as the foundation itself; for, keeping +steadily in view that usefulness is to be the primary object of all your +studies, you must devote much more time and attention to the +embellishing, because refining branches of literature, than would be +necessary for those whose office is not so peculiarly that of soothing +and pleasing as woman's is. Even these lighter studies, however, must be +subjected to the same reflective process as the severer ones, or they +will never become an incorporate part of the mind itself: they will, on +the contrary, if this process is neglected, stand out, as the knowledge +of all uneducated people does, in abrupt and unharmonizing prominence. + +It is not to be so much your object to acquire the power of quoting +poetry or prose, or to be acquainted with the names of the authors of +celebrated fictions and their details, as to be imbued with the spirit +of heroism, generosity, self-sacrifice,--in short, the practical love of +the beautiful which every universally-admired fiction, whether it have a +professedly moral tendency or not, is calculated to excite. The refined +taste, the accurate perceptions, the knowledge of the human heart, and +the insight into character, which intellectual culture can highly +improve, even if it cannot create, are to be the principal results as +well as the greatest pleasures to which you are to look forward. In +study, as in every other important pursuit, the immediate +results--those that are most tangible and encouraging to the faint and +easily disheartened--are exactly those which are least deserving of +anxiety. A couple of hours' reading of poetry in the morning might +qualify you to act the part of oracle that very evening to a whole +circle of inquirers; it might enable you to tell the names, and dates, +and authors of a score of remarkable poems: and this, besides, is a +species of knowledge which every one can appreciate. It is not, however, +comparable in kind to the refinement of mind, the elevation of thought, +the deepened sense of the beautiful, which a really intellectual study +of the same works would impart or increase. I do not wish to depreciate +the good offices of the memory; it is very valuable as a handmaid to the +higher powers of the intellect. I have, however, generally observed that +where much attention has been devoted to the recollection of names, +facts, dates, &c., the higher species of intellectual cultivation have +been neglected: attention to them, on the other hand, would never +involve any neglect of the advantages of memory; for a cultivated +intellect can suggest to itself a thousand associative links by which it +can be assisted and rendered much more extensively useful than a mere +verbal memory could ever be. The more of these links (called by +Coleridge hooks-and-eyes) you can invent for yourself, the more will +your memory become an intellectual faculty. By such means, also, you can +retain possession of all the information with which your reading may +furnish you, without paying such exclusive attention to those tangible +and immediate results of study as would deprive you of the more solid +and permanent ones. These latter consist, as I said before, in the +improvement of the mind itself, and not in its furniture. A modern +author has remarked, that the improvement of the mind is like the +increase of money from compound interest in a bank, as every fresh +increase, however trifling, serves as a new link with which to connect +still further acquisitions. This remark is strikingly illustrative of +the value of an intellectual kind of memory. Every new idea will serve +as a "hook-and-eye," with which you can fasten together the past and the +future; every new fact intellectually remembered will serve as an +illustration of some formerly-established principle, and, instead of +burdening you with the separate difficulty of remembering itself, will +assist you in remembering other things. + +It is a universal law, that action is in inverse proportion to power; +and therefore the deeply-thinking mind will find a much greater +difficulty in drawing out its capabilities on short notice, and +arranging them in the most effective position, than a mind of mere +cleverness, of merely acquired, and not assimilated knowledge. This +difficulty, however, need not be permanent, though at first it is +inevitable. A woman's mind, too, is less liable to it; as, however +thoughtful her nature may be, this thoughtfulness is seldom strengthened +by habit. She is seldom called upon to concentrate the powers of her +mind on any intellectual pursuits that require intense and +long-continuous thought. The few moments of intense thought which I +recommend to you will never add to your thoughtfulness of nature any +habits that will require serious difficulty to overcome. It is also, +unless a man be in public life, of more importance to a woman than to +him to possess action, viz. great readiness in the use and disposal of +whatever intellectual powers she may possess. Besides this, you must +remember that a want of quickness and facility in recollection, of ease +and distinctness in expression, is quite as likely to arise from +desultory and wandering habits of thought as from the slowness referable +to deep reflection. Most people find difficulty in forcing their +thoughts to concentrate themselves on any given subject, or in +afterwards compelling them to take a comprehensive glance of every +feature of that subject. Both these processes require much the same +habits of mind: the latter, perhaps, though apparently the more +discursive in its nature, demands a still greater degree of +concentration than the former. + +When the mind is set in motion, it requires a stronger exertion to +confine its movements within prescribed limits than when it is steadily +fixed on one given point. For instance, it would be easier to meditate +on the subject of patriotism, bringing before the mind every quality of +the heart and head that this virtue would have a tendency to develop, +than to take in, at one comprehensive glance,[76] the different +qualities of those several individuals who have been most remarked for +the virtue. Unless the thoughts were under strong and habitual control, +they would infallibly wander to other peculiarities of these same +individuals, unconnected with the given subject, to curious facts in +their lives, to contemporary characters, &c.; thus loitering by the +way-side in amusing, but here unprofitable reflection: for every +exercise of thought like that which I have described is only valuable in +proportion to the degree of accuracy with which we can contemplate with +one instantaneous glance, laid out upon a map as it were, those features +_only_ belonging to the given subject, and keeping out of view all +foreign ones. There is perhaps no faculty of the mind more susceptible +of evident, as it were tangible, improvement than this: besides, the +exercise of mind which it procures us is one of the highest intellectual +pleasures; you should therefore immediately and perseveringly devote +your efforts and attention to seek out the best mode of cultivating it. +Even the reading of books which require deep and continuous thought is +only a preparation for this higher exercise of the faculties--a useful, +indeed a necessary preparation, because it promotes the habit of fixing +the attention and concentrating the powers of the mind on any given +point. In assimilating the thoughts of others, however, with your own +mind and memory, the mind itself remains nearly passive; it is as the +wax that receives the impression, and must for this purpose be in a +suitable state of impressibility. In exact proportion to the +suitableness of this state are the clearness and the beauty of the +impression; but even when most true and most deep, its value is +extrinsic and foreign: it is only when the mind begins to act for itself +and weaves out of its own materials a new and native manufacture, that +the real intellectual existence can be said to commence. While, +therefore, I repeat my advice to you, to devote some portion of every +day to such reading as will require the strongest exertion of your +powers of thought, I wish, at the same time, to remind you that even +this, the highest species of _reading_, is only to be considered as a +means to an end: though productive of higher and nobler enjoyments than +the unintellectual can conceive, it is nothing more than the +stepping-stone to the genuine pleasures of pure intellect, to the +ennobling sensation of directing, controlling, and making the most +elevated use of the powers of an immortal mind. + +To woman, the power of abstracted thought, and the enjoyment derived +from it, is even more valuable than to man. His path lies in active +life; and the earnest craving for excitement, for action, which is the +characteristic of all powerful natures, is in man easily satisfied: it +is satisfied in the sphere of his appointed duty; "he must go forth, and +resolutely dare." Not so the woman, whose scene of action is her quiet +home: her virtues must be passive ones; and with every qualification for +successful activity, she is often compelled to chain down her vivid +imagination to the most monotonous routine of domestic life. When she is +entirely debarred from external activity, a restlessness of nature, that +can find no other mode of indulgence, will often invent for itself +imaginary trials and imaginary difficulties: hence the petty quarrels, +the mean jealousies, which disturb the peace of many homes that might +have been tranquil and happy if the same activity of thought and feeling +had been early directed into right channels. A woman who finds real +enjoyment in the improvement of her mind will neither have time nor +inclination for tormenting her servants and her family; an avocation in +which many really affectionate and professedly religious women exhaust +those superfluous energies which, under wise direction, might have +dispensed peace and happiness instead of disturbance and annoyance. A +woman who has acquired proper control over her thoughts, and can find +enjoyment in their intellectual exercise, will have little temptation to +allow them to dwell on mean and petty grievances. That admirable Swedish +proverb, "It is better to rule your house with your head than with your +heels," will be exemplified in all her practice. Her well-regulated and +comprehensive mind (and comprehensiveness of mind is as necessary to the +skilful management of a household as to the government of an empire) +will be able to contrive such systems of domestic arrangement as will +allot exactly the suitable works at the suitable times to each member of +the establishment: no one will be over-worked, no one idle; there will +not only be a place for every thing, and every thing in its place, but +there will also be a time for every thing, and every thing will have its +allotted time. Such a system once arranged by a master-mind, and still +superintended by a steady and intelligent, but not _incessant_ +inspection, raises the character of the governed as well as that of her +who governs: they are never brought into collision with each other; and +the inferior, whose manual expertness may far exceed that to which the +superior has even the capability of attaining, will nevertheless look up +with admiring respect to those powers of arrangement, and that steady +and uncapriciously-exerted authority, which so facilitate and lighten +the task of obedience and dependence. This mode of managing a household, +even if they found it possible, would of course be disliked by those +who, having no higher resources, would find the day hang heavy on their +hands unless they watched all the details of household work, and made +every action of every servant result from their own immediate +interference, instead of from an enlarged and uniformly operating +system. + +This subject has brought me back to the point from which I began,--the +_practical_ utility of a cultivated intellect, and the additional power +and usefulness it confers,--raising its possessor above all the mean and +petty cares of daily life, and enabling her to impart ennobling +influences to its most trifling details. + +The power of thought, which I have so earnestly recommended you to +cultivate, is even still more practical, and still more useful, when +considered relatively to the most important business of life--that of +religion. Prayer and meditation, and that communion with the unseen +world which imparts a foretaste of its happiness and glory, are enjoyed +and profited by in proportion to the power of controlling the thoughts +and of exercising the mind. Having a firm trust, that to you every other +object is considered subordinate to that of advancement in the spiritual +life, it must be a very important consideration whether, and how far, +the self-education you may bestow on yourself will help you towards its +attainment. In this point of view there can be no doubt that the mental +cultivation recommended in this letter has a much more advantageous +influence upon your religious life than any other manner of spending +your time. Besides the many collateral tendencies of such pursuits to +favour that growth in grace which I trust will ever remain the principal +object of your desires, experience will soon show you that every +improvement in the reflective powers, every additional degree of control +over the movements of the mind, may find an immediate exercise in the +duties of religion. + +The wandering thoughts which are habitually excluded from your hours of +study will not be likely to intrude frequently or successfully during +your hours of devotion; the habit of concentrating all the powers of +your mind on one particular subject, and then developing all its +features and details, will require no additional effort for the pious +heart to direct it into the lofty employments of meditation on eternal +things and communion with our God and Saviour: at the same time, the +employments of prayer and meditation will in their turn react upon your +merely secular studies, and facilitate your progress in them by giving +you habits of singleness of mind and steadiness of mental purpose. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[71] Carlyle. + +[72] Matt. xxv. 23. + +[73] Dan. xii. 3. + +[74] "The vessel whose rupture occasioned the paralysis was so minute +and so slightly affected by the circulation, that it could have been +ruptured only by the over-action of the mind"--_Bishop Jebb's Life_. + +[75] "This is nature's law; she will never see her children wronged. If +the mind which rules the body, ever forgets itself so far as to trample +upon its slave, the slave is never generous enough to forgive the injury +but will rise and smile its oppressor. Thus has many a monarch been +dethroned."--_Longfellow_. + +[76] It is the theory of Locke, that the angels have all their knowledge +spread out before them, as in a map,--all to be seen together at one +glance. + + + + +LETTER IX. + +THE CULTIVATION OF THE MIND + +(_Continued_) + + +In continuation of my last letter, I shall proceed at once to the minor +details of study, and suggest for your adoption such practices as others +by experience have found conducive to improvement. Not that one person +can lay down any rules for another that might in every particular be +safely followed: we must, each for ourselves, experimentalize long and +variously upon our own mind, before we can understand the mode of +treatment best suited to it; and we may, perhaps, in the progress of +such experiments, derive as much benefit from our mistakes themselves as +if the object of our experiments had been at once attained. It is not, +however, from wilful mistakes, or from deliberate ignorance, that we +ever derive profit. Instead, therefore, of striking out entirely new +plans for yourself, in which time and patience and even hope may be +exhausted, I should advise you to listen for direction to the +suggestions of those who by more than mere profession have frequented +the road upon which you are anxious to make a rapid progress. In books +you may find much that is useful; from the conversation of those who +have been self-educated you may receive still greater assistance,--as +the advice thus personally addressed must of course be more +discriminating and special. For this latter reason, in all that I am now +about to write, I keep in view the peculiar character and formation of +your mind. I do not address the world in general, who would profit +little by the course of education here recommended: I only write to my +Unknown Friend. + +In the first place, I should advise, as of primary importance, the +laying down of a regular system of employment. Impose upon yourself the +duty of getting through so much work every day; even, if possible, lay +down a plan as to the particular period of the day in which each +occupation is to be attended to; many otherwise wasted moments would be +saved by having arranged beforehand that which is successively to engage +the attention. The great advantage of such regularity is experienced in +the acknowledged truth of Lord Chesterfield's maxim: "He who has most +business has most leisure." When the multiplicity of affairs to be got +through absolutely necessitates the arrangement of an appointed time for +each, the same habits of regularity and of undilatoriness (if I may be +allowed the expression) are insensibly carried into the lighter pursuits +of life. There is another important reason for the self-imposition of +those systematic habits which to men of business are a necessity; it is, +however, one which you cannot at all appreciate until you have +experienced its importance: I refer to the advantage of being, by a +self-imposed rule, provided with an immediate object, in which the +intellectual pursuits of a woman must otherwise be deficient. I would +not depreciate the mightiness of "the future;"[77] but it is evident that +the human mind is so constituted as to feel that motives increase in +strength as they approach in nearness; otherwise, why should it require +such strong faith, and that faith a supernatural gift, to enable us to +sacrifice the present gratification of a moment to the happiness of an +eternity. While, therefore, you seek by earnest prayer and reverential +desire to bring the future into perpetually operating force upon your +principles and practice, do not, at the same time, be deterred by any +superstitious fears from profiting by yourself and urging on others +every immediate and temporal motive, not inconsistent with the great +one, "to glorify God, and to enjoy him for ever."[78] + +While your principal personal object and personal gratification in your +studies is to be derived from the gradual improvement of your mind and +tastes, this gradual improvement will be often so imperceptible that you +will need support and cheering during many weeks and months of +apparently profitless mental application. Such support you may provide +for yourself in the daily satisfaction resulting from having fulfilled a +certain task, from having obeyed a law, though only a self-imposed one. +Men, in their studies, have almost always that near and immediate object +which I recommend to you to create for yourself. For them, as well as +for you, the distant future of attained mental eminence and excellence +is indeed the principal object. They, however, have it in their power to +cheat the toil and cheer the way by many intermediate steps, which +serve both as landmarks in their course and objects of interest within +their immediate reach. They can almost always have some special object +in view, as the result and reward of the studies of each month, or +quarter, or year. They read for prizes, scholarships, fellowships, &c.; +and these rewards, tangibly and actually within their reach, excite +their energies and quicken their exertions. + +For women there is nothing of the kind; it is therefore a useful +exercise of her ingenuity to invent some substitute, however inferior to +the original. For this purpose, I have never found any thing so +effectual as a self-imposed system of study,--the stricter the better. +It is not desirable, however, that this system should be one of very +constant employment; the strictness of which I spoke only refers to its +regularity. As the great object is that you should break through your +rules as seldom as possible, it would be better to fix the number of +your hours of occupation rather below, certainly not above, your average +habits. The time that may be to spare on days in which you meet with no +interruption from visitors may also be systematically disposed of: you +may always have some book in hand which will be ready to fill up any +unoccupied moments, without, even on these occasions, wasting your time +in deliberating as to what your next employment shall be. + +You understand me, therefore, to recommend that those hours of the +system which you are to impose upon yourself to employ in a certain +manner are not to exceed the number you can ordinarily secure without +interruption on _every_ day of the week, exclusive of visitors, &c. &c. +Every advantage pertaining to the system I recommend is much enhanced by +the uniformity of its observance: indeed, it is on rigid attention to +this point that its efficacy principally depends. I will now enter into +the details of the system of study which, however modified by your own +mind and habits, will, I hope, in some form or other, be adopted by you. +The first arrangement of your time ought to be the laying apart of a +certain period every day for the deepest thinking you can compel +yourself to, either on or off book. + +Having said so much on this point in my last letter, I should run the +risk of repetition if I dwelt longer upon it here. I only mention it at +all to give it again the most prominent position in your studies, and to +recommend its invariably occupying a daily place in them. For every +other pursuit, two or three times a week might answer as well, perhaps +better, as it would be too great an interruption to devote to each only +so short a period of time as could be allotted to it in a daily +distribution. It may be desirable, before I take leave of the subject of +your deeper studies, to mention here some of the books which will give +you the most effectual aid in the formation of your mind. + +Butler's Analogy will be perhaps the very best to begin with: you must +not, however, flatter yourself that you in any degree understand this or +other books of the same nature until you penetrate into their extreme +difficulty,--until, in short, you find out that you can _not_ thoroughly +understand them _yet_. Queen Caroline, George II.'s wife, in the hope of +proving to Bishop Horsley how fully she appreciated the value of the +work I have just mentioned, told him that she had it constantly beside +her at her breakfast-table, to read a page or two in it whenever she had +an idle moment. The Bishop's reply was scarcely intended for a +compliment. He said _he_ could never open the book without a headache; +and really a headache is in general no bad test of our having thought +over a book sufficiently to enter in some degree into its real meaning: +only remember, that when the headache begins the reading or the thinking +must stop. As you value tho long and unimpaired preservation of your +powers of mind, guard carefully against any over-exertion of them. + +To return to the "Analogy." It is a book of which you cannot too soon +begin the study,--providing you, as it will do, at once with materials +for the deepest thought, and laying a safe foundation for all future +ethical studies; it is at the same time so clearly expressed, that you +will have no perplexity in puzzling out the mere external form of the +idea, instead of fixing all your attention on solving the difficulties +of the thoughts and arguments themselves. Locke on the Human +Understanding is a work that has probably been often recommended to you. +Perhaps, if you keep steadily in view the danger of his materialistic, +unpoetic, and therefore untrue philosophy, the book may do you more good +than harm; it will furnish you with useful exercise for your thinking +powers; and you will see it so often quoted as authority, on one side as +truth, on the other as falsehood, that it may be as well you should form +your own judgment of it. You should previously, however, become guarded +against any dangers that might result from your study of Locke, by +acquiring a thorough-knowledge of the philosophy of Coleridge. This will +so approve itself to your conscience, your intellect, and your +imagination, that there can be no risk of its being ever supplanted in a +mind like yours by "plebeian"[79] systems of philosophy. Few have now +any difficulty in perceiving the infidel tendencies of that of Locke, +especially with the assistance of his French philosophic followers, +(with whose writings, for the charms of style and thought, you will +probably become acquainted in future years.) They have declared what the +real meaning of his system is by the developments which they have proved +to be its necessary consequences. Let Coleridge, then, be your previous +study, and the philosophic system detailed in his various writings may +serve as a nucleus, round which all other philosophy may safely enfold +itself. The writings of Coleridge form an era in the history of the +mind; and their progress in altering the whole character of thought, not +only in this but in foreign nations, if it has been slow, (which is one +of the necessary conditions of permanence,) has been already +astonishingly extensive. Even those who have never heard of the name of +Coleridge find their habits of thought moulded, and their perceptions of +truth cleared and deepened, by the powerful influence of his +master-mind,--powerful still, though it has probably only reached them +through three or four interposing mediums. The proud boast of one of +his descendants is amply verified: "He has given the power of vision:" +and in ages yet to come, many who may unfortunately be ignorant of the +very name of their benefactor will still be profiting daily, more and +more, by the mental telescopes he has provided. Thus it is that many +have rejoiced in having the distant brought near to them, and the +confused made clear, without knowing that Jansen was the name of him who +had conferred such benefits upon mankind. The immediate artist, the +latest moulder of an original design, is the one whose skill is extolled +and depended upon; and so it is even already in the case of Coleridge. +It is those only who are intimately acquainted with him who can plainly +see, that it is by the power of vision he has conferred that the really +philosophic writers of the present day are enabled to give views so +clear and deep on the many subjects that now interest the human mind. +All those among modern authors who combine deep learning with an +enlarged wisdom, a vivid and poetical imagination with an acute +perception of the practical and the true, have evidently educated +themselves in the school of Coleridge. He well deserves the name of the +Christian Plato, erecting as he does, upon the ancient and long-tried +foundation of that philosopher's beautiful system of intuitive truths, +the various details of minor but still valuable knowledge with which the +accumulated studies of four thousand intervening years have furnished +us, at the same time harmonizing the whole by the all-pervading spirit +of Christianity. + +Coleridge is truly a Christian philosopher: at the same time, however, +though it may seem a paradox, I must warn you against taking him for +your guide and instructor in theology. A Socinian during all the years +in which vivid and never-to-be-obliterated impressions are received, he +could not entirely free himself from those rationalistic tendencies +which had insensibly incorporated themselves with all his religious +opinions. He afterwards became the powerful and successful defender of +the saving truths which he had long denied; but it was only in cases +where Arianism was openly displayed, and was to be directly opposed. He +seems to have been entirely unconscious that its subtle evil tendencies, +its exaltation of the understanding above the reason, its questioning, +disobedient spirit, might all in his own case have insinuated themselves +into his judgments on theological and ecclesiastical questions. The +prejudices which are in early youth wrought into the very essence of our +being are likely to be unsuspected in exact proportion to the degree of +intimacy with which they are assimilated with the forms of our mind. +However this may be, you will not fail to observe that, in all branches +of philosophy that do not directly refer to religion, Coleridge's system +of teaching is opposed to the general character of his own theological +views, and that he has himself furnished the opponents of these peculiar +views with the most powerful arms that can be wielded against them. + +Every one of Coleridge's writings should be carefully perused more than +once, more than twice; in fact, they cannot be read too often; and the +only danger of such continued study would be, that in the enjoyment of +finding every important subject so beautifully thought out for you, +natural indolence might deter you from the comparatively laborious +exercise of thinking them out for yourself. The three volumes of his +"Friend," his "Church and State," his "Lay Sermons," and "Statesman's +Manual," will each of them furnish you with most important present +information and with inexhaustible materials for future thought. + +Reid's "Inquiry into the Human Mind," and Dugald Stewart's "Philosophy +of the Mind," are also books that you must carefully study. Brown's +"Lectures on Philosophy" are feelingly and gracefully written; but +unless you find a peculiar charm and interest in the style, there will +not be sufficient compensation for the sacrifice of time so voluminous a +work would involve. Those early chapters which give an account of the +leading systems of Philosophy, and some very ingenious chapters on +Memory, are perhaps as much of the book as will be necessary for you to +study carefully. + +The works of the German philosopher Kant will, some time hence, serve as +a useful exercise of thought; and you will find it interesting as well +as useful to trace the resemblances and differences between the great +English and the great German philosophers, Kant and Coleridge. Locke's +small work on Education contains many valuable suggestions, and Watts on +the Mind is also well worthy your attention. It is quite necessary that +Watts' Logic should form a part of your studies; it is written +professedly for women, and with ingenious simplicity. A knowledge of the +forms of Logic is useful even to women, for the purpose of sharpening +and disciplining the reasoning powers. + +Do not be startled when I further recommend to you Blackstone's +"Commentaries" and Burlamaqui's "Treatise on Natural Law." These are +books which, besides affording admirable opportunities for the exercise +of both concentrated and comprehensive thought, will fill your mind with +valuable ideas, and furnish it with very important information. Finally, +I recommend to your unceasing and most respectful study the works of +that "Prince of modern philosophers," Lord Bacon. In his great mind were +united the characteristics of the two ancient, but nevertheless +universal, schools of philosophy, the Aristotelic and the Platonic. It +is, I believe, the only instance known of such a difficult combination. +His "Essays," his "Advancement of Learning," his "Wisdom of the +Ancients," you might understand and profit by, even now. Through all the +course of an education, which I hope will only end with your life, you +cannot do better than to keep him as your constant companion and +intellectual guide. + +The foregoing list of works seems almost too voluminous for any woman to +make herself mistress of; but you may trust to one who has had extensive +experience for herself and others, that the principle of "Nulla dies +sine linea" is as useful in the case of reading as in that of painting: +the smallest quantity of work daily performed will accomplish in a +year's time that which at the beginning of the year would have seemed to +the inexperienced a hopeless task. + +As yet, I have only spoken of philosophy; there is, however, another +branch of knowledge, viz. science, which also requires great +concentration of thought, and which ought to receive some degree of +attention, or you will appear, and, what would be still worse, feel, +very stupid and ignorant with respect to many of the practical details +of ordinary life. You are continually hearing of the powers of the +lever, the screw, the wedge, of the laws of motion, &c. &c., and they +are often brought forward as illustrations even on simply literary +subjects. An acquaintance with these matters is also necessary to enter +with any degree of interest into the wonderful exhibitions of mechanical +powers which are among the prominent objects of attention in the present +day. You cannot even make intelligent inquiries, and betray a graceful, +because unwilling ignorance, without some degree of general knowledge of +science. + +Among the numerous elementary works which make the task of +self-instruction pleasant and easy, none can excel, if any have +equalled, the "Scientific Dialogues" of Joyce. In these six little +volumes, you will find a compendium of all preliminary knowledge; even +these, however, easy as they are, require to be carefully studied. The +comparison of the text with the plates, the testing for yourself the +truth of each experiment, (I do not mean that you should practically +test it, except in a few easy cases, for your mind has not a sufficient +taste for science to compensate for the trouble,) will furnish you with +very important lessons in the art of fixing your attention. + +"Conversations on Natural Philosophy," in one volume, by a lady, is +nearly as simple and clear as the "Scientific Dialogues;" it will serve +usefully as a successor to them. It is a great assistance to the memory +to read a different work on the same subject while the first is still +fresh in your mind. The sameness of the facts gives the additional force +of a double impression; and the variation in the mode of stating them, +always more striking when the books are the respective works of a man +and of a woman, adds the force of a trebled impression, stronger than +the two others, because there is in it more of the exercise of the +intellect, that is, on the supposition that, in accordance with the +foregoing rules, you should think over each respective statement until +you have reconciled them together by ascertaining the cause of the +variation. + +I shall now proceed to those lighter branches of literature which are +equally necessary with the preceding, and which will supply you with the +current coin of the day,--very necessary for ordinary intercourse, +though, in point of real value, far inferior to the bank-stock of +philosophic and scientific knowledge which it is to be your chief object +to acquire. History is the branch of lighter literature to which your +attention should be specially directed; it provides you with +illustrations for all philosophy, with excitements to heroism and +elevation of character, stronger perhaps than any mere theory can ever +afford. The simplest story, the most objective style of narrative, will +be that best fitted to answer these purposes. Your own philosophic +deductions will be much more beneficial to your intellect than any one +else's, supposing always that you are willing to make, history a really +intellectual study. + +Tytler's "Elements of History" is a most valuable book, and not an +unnecessary word throughout the whole. If you do not find getting by +heart an insuperable difficulty, you will do well to commit every line +to memory. Half a page a day of the small edition would soon lay up for +you such an extent of historic learning as would serve for a foundation +to all future attainments in this branch of study. Such outlines of +history are a great assistance in forming the comprehensive views which +are necessary on the subject of contemporaneous history: a glance at a +chart of history, or at La Voisne's invaluable Atlas, may be allowed +from time to time; but the principal arrangement ought to take place +within your own mind, for the sake of both your memory and your +intellect. Such outlines of history will, however, be very deficient in +the interest and excitement this study ought to afford you, unless you +combine with them minute details of particular periods, first, perhaps, +of particular countries. + +Thus I would have Rollings Ancient History succeed the cold and dry +outlines of Tytler. Hume's History of England will serve the same +purpose relatively to the modern portion; and for the History of France, +that of Eyre Evans Crowe imparts a brilliancy to perhaps the most +uninteresting of all historic records. If that is not within your reach, +Millet's History of France, in four volumes, though dull enough, is a +safe and useful school-room book, and may be read with profit +afterwards: this, too, would possess the advantage of helping you on at +the same time, or at least keeping up your knowledge of the French +language. + +It is desirable that all books from which you only want to acquire +objective information should be read in a foreign language: you thus +insensibly render yourself more permanently, and as it were habitually, +acquainted with the language in question, and carry on two studies at +the same time. If, however, you are not sufficiently acquainted with the +language to prevent any danger of a division of attention by your being +obliged to puzzle over the mere words instead of applying yourself to +the meaning of the author, you must not venture upon the attempt of +deriving a double species of knowledge from the same subject-matter: the +effect of the history as a story or picture impressed on the mind or +memory would be lost by any confusion with another object. + +Sir Walter Scott's "Tales of a Grandfather" are the best history of +Scotland you could read: Robertson's may come afterwards, when you have +time. + +Of Ireland and Wales you will learn enough from their constant +connection with the affairs of England. Sismondi's History of the +Italian Republics, in the Cabinet Cyclopedia, the History of the Ottoman +Empire, in Constable's Miscellany, the rapid sketches of the histories +of Germany, Austria, and Prussia, in Voltaire's Universal History, will +be perhaps quite sufficient for this second class of histories. + +The third must enter into more particular details, and thus confer a +still livelier interest upon bygone days. For instance, with reference +to ancient history, you should read some of the more remarkable of +Plutarch's Lives, those of Alexander, Caesar, Theseus, Themistocles, &c.; +the Travels of Anacharsis, the worthy results of thirty years' hard +labour of an eminent scholar:[80] the Travels of Cyrus, Telemachus, +Belisarius, and Numa Pompilius, are also, though in very different +degrees, useful and interesting. The plays of Corneille and Racine, +Alfieri, and Metastasio, on historical subjects, will make a double +impression on your memory by the excitement of your imagination. All +ought to be read about the same time that you are studying those periods +of history to which they refer. This is of much importance. + +The same plan is to be pursued with reference to modern history. The +brilliant detached histories of Voltaire, Louis XIV. and XV., Charles +XII., and Peter the Great, ought to be read while the outlines of the +general history of the same period are freshly impressed on your memory. +The vivid historical pictures of De Barante are to be made the same use +of: he stands perhaps unrivalled as an objective historian. + +Shakspeare's historical plays are the best accompaniment to Hume's +History of England. Our modern novels, too, will supply you with rich +and varied information, as to the manners and characters of former +times. They are a very important part of our literature, and ought to be +considered essential to the completion of your circle of study. That +they also may be rendered as useful as possible, they should be read at +the same time with the entirely true history of the period to which they +refer. + +From history, I have insensibly glided into the subject of works of +fiction, one which perhaps previously requires a few words of apology; +for the strong recommendations with which I have pressed their study +upon you may sound strangely to the ears of many worthy people. In your +own enlightened and liberal mind, I do not indeed suspect the +indwelling of any such exclusive prejudices as those which forbid +altogether the perusal of works of fiction: such prejudices belong, +perhaps, to more remote periods, to those distant times when title-pages +were seen announcing "Paradise Lost, translated into prose for the +benefit of those pious souls whose consciences would not permit them to +read poetry."[81] This latter prejudice--that against poetry--seems, as +far as my observation extends, to be entirely forgotten. Fiction in this +form is now considered universally allowable; and some conscientious +persons, who would not allow themselves or others the relaxation of a +novel of any kind, will indulge unhesitatingly in the same sort of +love-stories, rendered still more exciting through the medium of poetry. +Most women, unfortunately, are incapable of carrying out the argument +from one course of action into another, or even of clearly +comprehending, when it is suggested to them, that whatever is wrong in +prose cannot be right in poetry. In a general way you will be able to +form your own judgment on this subject, by observing how much safer +prose-fiction is for yourself at times, when your feelings are excited, +and your mind unsettled and exhausted. A novel, even the most trifling +novel of fashionable life, if it has only cleverness sufficient to +engage your thoughts, would be, perhaps, a very desirable manner of +spending your time at the very period that poetry would be decidedly +injurious to you. Indeed, at all times, those who have vivid +imaginations and strong feelings should carefully guard and sparingly +indulge themselves in the perusal of poetic fictions. + +If it were possible, as some say, to study poetry artistically alone, +contemplating it as a work of art, and not allowing it to excite the +affections or the passions, there is no kind of poetry that might not be +enjoyed with safety in any state of mind: it is doubtful, however, +whether any work of art ought to be so contemplated. Its excellence can +only be estimated by the degree of emotion it produces; how then can an +unimpassioned examination ever form a true estimate of its merit? When +such an inspection of any work of art can be carried through, there is +generally some fault either in the thing criticized or in the critic; +for the distinctive characteristic of art is, that it is addressed to +our _human_ nature, and excites its emotions. In the words of the great +German poet:-- + + Science, O man, thou sharest with higher spirits; + But art thou hast alone. + +Pure science must be the same to all orders of created beings, but, as +far as our knowledge extends, the physical organization of humanity is +required for a perception of the beauties of art: therefore physical +excitement must be united with mental, in proportion as the work of art +is successful. Do not then hope ever to be able to study poetry without +a quickened pulse and a flushing cheek; you may as well leave it alone +altogether, if it produces no emotion. It must be either rhyme and no +poetry, or to you poetry can be nothing but rhyme. + +Think not, however, that I do wish you to leave it alone altogether; +nothing could be farther from my purpose. + +There is some old saying about fire being a good servant, but a bad +master. Now this is what I would say of the faculty of imagination, as +cultivated and excited by works of fiction in general, including, of +course, poetic fictions. As long as you can keep your imagination, even +though thus quickened and excited, under the strict control of religious +feeling--as long as you are able to prevent its rousing your temper to +an uncontrollable degree of susceptibility--as long as you can return +from an ideal world to the lowly duties of every-day life with a steady +purpose and unflinching determination, there can be no danger for you in +reading poetry. Perhaps you will, on the contrary, tell me that all this +is impossible, and, coward-like, you may prefer resigning the pleasure +to encountering the difficulties of struggling against its consequences: +but this is not the way either to strengthen your character or to form +your mind. All cultivation requires watchfulness and additional +precautions, either more or less: you must not, for the sake of a few +superable difficulties, resign the otherwise unattainable refinement +effected by poetry. Besides, its exalting and ennobling influence, if +properly understood and employed, will help you incalculably over the +rugged paths of your daily life; it will shed softening and hallowing +gleams over many things that you would otherwise find difficult to +endure, many duties otherwise too hard to fulfil; for there is poetry in +every thing that is really good and true. Happy those practical students +of its beauties who have learned to track the ore beneath the most +unpromising surfaces! Poetry, I look upon, in fact, as the most +essential, the most vital part of the cultivation of your mind, as from +its spirit your character will receive the most beneficial influence: +you must learn the double lesson of extracting it from every thing, and +of throwing it around every thing; and, for the better attainment of +this object, you must study it in itself, that you may become deeply +imbued with its spirit. + +Along with the poetry of every age and of every nation, I would have you +diligently study the criticisms of the masters of the art. It is true +that the intimate knowledge of all that has been written on this +hackneyed subject will never supply the want of natural poetic taste, of +that union of mental and moral refinement which produces the only +infallible touchstone of the beautiful; still such criticisms will tend +to refine and sharpen a natural taste, where it does exist; and without +bringing its technical rules practically to bear upon the objects of +your delighted admiration,[82] they will insensibly improve, refine, and +subtilize the natural delicacy of your perceptions. + +No criticisms can perhaps equal the masterly ones of Frederick Schlegel, +or those of the less powerful but not less rich mind of Augustus William +Schlegel,"--those two wonderful brothers," as a modern litterateur has +justly called them. Leigh Hunt, with perhaps more poetic originality, +but with less accuracy of aesthetical perception, will be a useful guide +to you in English poetry. Burke's "Treatise on the Sublime and +Beautiful" will give you the most correct general ideas on the subject +of taste. These are always best and most influential after they have +been for some time assimilated with the forms of the mind. It is a far +more useful exercise to apply them yourself to individual cases than +merely to lend your attention, though carefully and fixedly, to the +applications made for you by the writer. Alison's "Essay on Taste," +though interesting and improving, saves too much trouble to the reader +in this way. + +Your enjoyment and appreciation of poetry will be much heightened by +having it read aloud,--by yourself to yourself, if you should have no +other sympathizing reader or listener. + +The sound of the metre is essential to the full _sense_ of the meaning +and of the beauty of all poetry. Even the rhymeless flow of blank verse +is absolutely necessary to an accurate and entire perception of the +effect the author intends to produce: it is in both cases as the +colouring to a picture. It may be, indeed, that part of the composition +which appeals most directly to the senses; but all the works of art must +be imperfect which do not make this appeal; for, as I said before, all +works of art are intended to affect our _human_ nature. + +A well-practised _eye_ will, it is true, detect in a moment either the +faults or the excellence of the rhyme or the flow; but the effect on the +mind cannot be the same as when the impression is received through the +_ear_. + +Nor is the fuller appreciation of the poetry you read aloud the only +advantage to be derived from the practice I recommend. Few +accomplishments are more rare, though few more desirable, than that of +reading aloud with ease and grace. Great are the sufferings inflicted on +a sensitive ear by listening to one's favourite passages, touching in +pathos, or glorious in sublimity, travestied into twaddle by the false +taste or the want of practice of the reader. For it is not always from +false taste that the species of reading above complained of proceeds; on +the contrary, there may be a very correct perception of the writer's +meaning and object, while from want of practice, from mere mechanical +inexpertness, there may be an incapability of giving effect to that +meaning: hence arises false emphasis, and a thousand other +disagreeables. + +In this art, this important art of reading aloud, simplicity ought to be +the grand object of attainment, at the same time that it is the last +that can be attained. It is a point to reach after long efforts; not to +start from, as those of uncultivated or artificial taste would imagine. +I must repeat, that it cannot be acquired without persevering practice. +The best time to set vigorously about such practice would be when you +have but just listened with dismay to the injuries inflicted on some +favourite poet by the laboured or tasteless reading of an unpractised +performer. + +From reading aloud, I pass on to a still more important subject,--that +of writing: both are intimately connected branches of the main +one--cultivation of the mind. When this latter is attained in the first +place, a slight individual direction of previously acquired powers will +enable you to succeed in both the former. In your own case, however, as +in that of all those who have not the active organisation which involves +great facilities for mechanical efforts, it will be quite necessary to +give a special direction to your studies for the attainment of any +degree of excellence in both those arts. Those, on the contrary, whose +organization is more lively and vigorous, and whose nature and habits +fit them more for action than thought, will find little difficulty in +making any degree of cultivation of mind an immediate stepping-stone to +the other attainments: such persons can read at once with force and +truth as soon as education has given them accurate perceptions; they +will also write with ease, rapidity, and energy, as soon as the mind is +furnished with suitable materials. This is a kind of superiority which +you may often be inclined to envy, at least until experience has taught +you, in the first place, that the law of compensation is universal, and +in the second, that every thing is doubly valuable which is acquired +through hard labour and many struggles. For the first, you may observe +that such persons as possess naturally the mechanical facilities of +which I have spoken will never attain to an equal degree of excellence +with those whose naturally soft and inactive organization obliges them +to labour over every step of their onward way. They can, I repeat, never +attain to the same degree of excellence, either in feeling or +expression, because they do not possess the same refined delicacy of +perceptions, the same deep thoughtfulness and intuitive wisdom, as those +who owe these advantages to the very organization from which they +otherwise suffer. This is another illustration of the universal +law--that action is always in inverse proportion to power. For the +second, you will find that there is a pleasure in overcoming +difficulties, compared with which all easily attained or naturally +possessed advantages appear tame and vapid:[83] and besides the +difference in the pleasurable excitement of the contest, you are to +consider the advantage to the character that is derived from a battle +and a victory. + +When I speak to you of writing, and of your attaining to excellence in +this art, I have nothing in view but the improvement of your private +letters. It can seldom be desirable for a woman to challenge public +criticism by appearing before the world as an author. "My wife does not +write poetry, she lives it," was the reply of Richter, when his +highly-gifted Caroline was applied to for literary contributions to her +sister's publications. He described in these words the real nature of a +woman's duties. Any degree of avoidable publicity must lessen her peace +and happiness; and few circumstances can make it prudent for a woman to +give up retirement and retired duties, and subject herself to public +criticism, and probably public blame. + +The writing, then, in which I have advised you to accomplish yourself, +is the epistolary style alone, at once a means of communicating pleasure +to your friends, and of conferring extensive and permanent benefits upon +them. How useful has the kind, judicious, well-timed letter of a +Christian friend often proved, even when the spoken word of the same +friend might, during circumstances of excitement, have only increased +imprudence or irritation! + +Few printed books have effected more good than the private +correspondence of pious, well-educated, and strong-minded persons. +Indeed, the influence exercised by letters and conversation is so much +the peculiar and appropriate sphere of a woman's usefulness, that all +her studies should be pursued with an especial view to the attainment of +these accomplishments. The same qualities are to be desired in both. The +utmost simplicity--for nothing can be worse than speaking as if you were +repeating a sentence out of a book, except writing a friendly letter as +if you were writing out of a book,--a great abundance and readiness of +information for the purpose of supplying a variety of illustrations, an +intelligent perception of, and a cautious attention to, that which you +are called upon to answer, a conciseness of expression, that is +perfectly consistent with those minute details, which, gracefully +managed, as women only can, form the chief charm of their conversation +and writing,--with all these you should be careful to give free play to +the peculiarities of your own individual mind: this will always, even +where there is little or no talent, produce a pleasing degree of +originality. + +Before every thing else, however, let unstudied ease, I could almost add +carelessness, be the marked characteristics of both your conversation +and your writing. Refined taste will indeed insensibly produce the +former, without any effort of your own, far better than the strictest +rules could do. + +The praises of nonsense have been often written and often spoken; nor +can it ever be praised more than it deserves. However "within its magic +circle none dare walk"[84] but those who have naturally quick and +refined perceptions, assisted by careful cultivation. Narrow indeed is +the boundary which divides unfeminine flippancy from the graceful +nonsense which good authority and our own feelings pronounce to be +"exquisite."[85] The unsuccessful attempt at its imitation always +reminds me of Pilpay's fable of the Donkey and the Lapdog:--The poor +donkey, who had been going on very usefully in its own drudging way, +began to envy the lap-dog the caresses it received, and fancied that it +would receive the same if it jumped upon its master as the lap-dog did: +how awkwardly and unnaturally its attempts at playfulness were executed, +how unwelcome they proved, I need not tell you. Nothing is more +difficult than playfulness or even vivacity of manner--nothing is so +sure a test of good breeding and high cultivation of mind; either may +carry you safely through, but their union alone can render playfulness +and vivacity entirely fascinating. + +After all that I have written, I must again repeat what I began +with,--that you are to try each different mode of study for yourself, +and that the advice of others will be of use to you only when you have +assimilated it with your own mind, testing it by your own practice, and +giving it the fair trial of _patient_ perseverance. + +I ought perhaps, before I close this letter, to make some apology for +recommending, as a part of your course of study, either Rollin or Hume, +one because he is "_trop bon homme_,"[86] the other because he is not +"_bon_" in any sense of the word. My apology, or rather my reason, will, +however, be only a repetition of that which I have said before, viz. +that I should wish you to read history strictly, and merely, as a story, +and to form your _own_ philosophic and religious opinions previously, +and from other sources. + +So many valuable and important histories, so many necessary books on +every subject, have been written by the professed infidel, as well as by +the practical forgetter of God, that you must prepare yourself for a +constant state of intellectual watchfulness, as to all the various +opinions suggested by the different authors you study. It is not their +opinions you want, but their facts. Most standard histories, even Hume +and Voltaire, tell truth as to all leading facts: after half-a-century +or so of filtration, truth becomes purified from contemporary passions +and prejudices, and can be easily got at without any importantly +injurious mixture. + +It was to mark my often-repeated wish that you should _philosophize_ for +yourself, that I have omitted the names of Guizot and Hallam in the list +of authors recommended for your perusal. With the tastes which I suppose +you to possess and to acquire, you will not be likely to leave them out +of your own list. The histories of Arnold and Niebuhr also belong to a +distinct class of writings. I should prefer your being intimately +acquainted with the so-called poetical histories which have been so +long received and loved, before you interest yourself in these modern +discoveries. + +The lectures of Dr. Arnold upon Modern History contain, however, such a +treasure of brilliant philosophy, of deep thought and forcible writing, +that the sooner you begin them, and the more intimately you study them, +the better pleased I should be. With respect to his singular views on +religion and politics, you must always keep carefully in mind that his +peculiar mental organization incapacitated him from forming correct +opinions on any subject connected with imagination or metaphysics. You +will soon be able to trace the manner in which the absence of these two +powers affected all his reasonings, and closed up his mind against the +most important species of evidence. I carry on the supposition that you +have formed, or will form, all your views on religion and politics from +your own judgment, assisted by the experience of those whose mind you +know to be qualified by their many-sidedness to judge clearly and +impartially--upon universal, not _partial_ data. Remember, at the same +time, however, that you belong to a church which professedly protests +against popes of every description, against the unscriptural practice of +calling any man "Father upon earth." May you attend diligently, and in a +child-like spirit of submission, to the teaching of that Holy and +Apostolic Church, and there will then be no danger of your being led +astray either by the infidel Hume or the sainted Arnold. + +Finally, I would again refer to that subject which ought to be the +beginning and end, the foundation and crowning-point of all our studies. +Let "whatever you do be done to the glory of God."[87] Earthly motives, +if pure and amiable ones, may hold a subordinate place; but unless the +mainspring of your actions be the desire "to glorify your Father which +is in heaven," you will find no real peace in life, no blessedness in +death. As one likely means of keeping this primary object of your life +constantly before you, I should strongly recommend your making the +cultivation and improvement of your mental powers the subject of special +prayer at all the appointed seasons of prayer; at the same time, your +studies themselves should never be entered upon without prayer,--prayer, +that the evil mingled with all earthly things may fall powerless on your +sanctified heart,--prayer, that any improvement you obtain may make you +a more useful servant of the Lord your God--more persuasive and +influential in that great work which in different ways is appropriated +to all in their several spheres of action, viz. the high and holy office +of winning souls to Christ.[88] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[77] Coleridge. + +[78] Assembly's Catechism. + +[79] Plebeii videntur appellandi omnes philosophi qui a Platone et +Socrate et ab ea familia dissiderent.--CICERO, _Tuscul._ 1, 2, 3. + +[80] L'Abbe Barthelemi. + +[81] Quarterly Review. + +[82] The critic who suffers his philosophy to reason away his pleasure +is not much wiser than a child who cuts open his drum to see what is +within it that causes the music.--_Edinburgh Review_. + +[83] Ce n'est pas la victoire, c'est le combat qui fait le bonheur des +nobles coeurs.--_Montalembert_. + +Si le Tout-puissant tenait dans une main la verite, et dans l'autre la +recherche de la verite, c'est la recherche que je lui demanderais. +--_Lessing_. + +[84] Dryden, of Shakspeare. + +[85] Miss Ferrier. Mrs. H.E. + +[86] Napoleon's remark on Rollin's History. + +[87] 1 Cor. x. 31. + +[88] 1 Pet. iii. 1. + + + + +LETTER X. + +AMUSEMENTS. + + +In addressing the following observations to you, I keep in mind the +peculiarity of your position,--a position which has made you, while +scarcely more than a child, independent of external control, and forced +you into the responsibilities of deciding thus early on a course of +conduct that may seriously affect your temporal and eternal interests. +More happy are those placed under the authority of strict parents, who +have already chosen and marked out for themselves a path to which they +expect their children strictly to adhere. The difficulties that may +still perplex the children of such parents are comparatively few: even +if the strictness of the authority over them be inexpedient and over +strained, it affords them a safeguard and a support for which they +cannot be too grateful; it preserves them from the responsibility of +acting for themselves at a time when their age and inexperience alike +unfit them for a decision on any important practical point; it keeps +them disengaged, as it were, from being pledged to any peculiar course +of conduct until they have formed and matured their opinion as to the +habits of social intercourse most expedient for them to adopt. Thus, +when the time for independent action comes, they are quite free to +pursue any new course of life without being shackled by former +professions, or exposing themselves to the reproach (and consequent +probable loss of influence) of having altered their former opinions and +views. + +Those, then, who are early guarded from any intercourse with the world +ought, instead of murmuring at the unnecessary strictness of their +seclusion, to reflect with gratitude on the advantages it affords them. +Faith ought, even now, to teach them the lesson that experience is sure +to impress on every thoughtful mind, that it is a special mercy to be +preserved from the duties of responsibility until we are, comparatively +speaking, fitted to enter upon them. + +This is not, however, the case with you. Ignorant and inexperienced as +you are, you must now select, from among all the modes of life placed +within your reach, those which you consider the best suited to secure +your welfare for time and for eternity. Your decision now, even in very +trifling particulars, must have some effect upon your state in both +existences. The most unimportant event of this life carries forward a +pulsation into eternity, and acquires a solemn importance from the +reaction. Every feeling which we indulge or act upon becomes a part of +ourselves, and is a preparation, by our own hand, of a scourge or a +blessing for us throughout countless ages. + +It may seem a matter of comparative unimportance, of trifling influence +over your future fate, whether you attend Lady A.'s ball to-night, or +Lady H.'s to-morrow. You may argue to yourself that even those who now +think balls entirely sinful have attended hundreds of them in their +time, and have nevertheless become afterwards more religious and more +useful than others who have never entered a ball-room. You might add, +that there could be more positive sin in passing two or three hours with +two or three people in Lady A's house in the morning than in passing the +same number of hours with two or three hundred people in the same house +in the evening. This is indeed true; but are you not deceiving yourself +by referring to the mere overt act? That is, as you imply, past and over +when the evening is past; but it is not so with the feelings which _may_ +make the ball either delightful or disagreeable to you; feelings, which +may be then for the first time excited, never to be stilled +again,--feelings which, when they once exist, will remain with you +throughout eternity; for even if by the grace of God they are finally +subdued, they will still remain with you in the memory of the painful +conflicts, the severe discipline of inward and outward trials, required +for their subjugation. Do not, however, suppose that I mean to attribute +exclusive or universally injurious effects to the atmosphere of a +ball-room. In the innocent smiles and unclouded brow of many a fair +girl, the experienced eye truly reads their freedom from any taint of +envy, malice, or coquetry; while, on the other hand, unmistakeable and +unconcealed exhibitions of all these evil feelings may often be +witnessed at a so-called "religious party." + +This remark, however, is not to my purpose; it is only made _par +parenthese_, to obviate any pretence for mistaking my meaning, and for +supposing that I attribute positive sin to that which I only object to +as the possible, or rather the probable occasion of sin. I always think +this latter distinction a very important one to attend to in discussing, +in a more general point of view, the subject of amusements of every +kind: it is, however, enough merely to notice it here, while we pass on +to the question which I urge upon you to apply personally to yourself, +namely, whether the ball-room be not a more favourable atmosphere for +the first excitement and after-cultivation of many feminine failings +than the quieter and more confined scenes of other social intercourse. + +It is by tracing the effect produced on our own mind that we can alone +form a safe estimate of the expediency of doubtful occupations. This is +the primary point of view in which to consider the subject, though by no +means the only one; for every Christian ought to exhibit a readiness in +his own small sphere to emulate the unselfishness of the great apostle: +"If meat make my brother to offend, I will eat no flesh while the world +standeth, lest I make my brother to offend."[89] The fear of the awful +threatenings against those who "offend," _i.e._ lead into sin, any of +"God's little ones,"[90] should combine with love for those for whom the +Saviour died, to induce us freely to sacrifice things which would be +personally harmless, on the ground of their being injurious to others. + +This part of the subject is, however, of less importance for our present +consideration, as from your youth and inexperience your example cannot +yet exercise much influence on those around you. + +Let us therefore return to the more personal part of the subject, +namely, the effect produced on your own mind. I have spoken of feminine +"failings:" I should, however, be inclined to apply a stronger term to +the first that I am about to notice--the love of admiration, considering +how closely it must ever be connected with the fatal vice of envy. She +who has an earnest craving for general admiration for herself, is +exposed to a strong temptation to regret the bestowal of any admiration +on another. She has an instinctive exactness in her account of receipt +and expenditure; she calculates almost unconsciously that the time and +attention and interest excited by the attractive powers of others is so +much homage subtracted from her own. That beautiful aphorism, "The human +heart is like heaven--the more angels the more room for them," is to +such persons as unintelligible in its loving spirit as in its wonderful +philosophic truth. Their craving is insatiable, once it has become +habitual, and their appetite is increased and stimulated, instead of +being appeased, by the anxiously-sought-for nourishment. + +These observations can only strictly apply to the fatal desire for +general admiration. As long as the approbation only of the wise and good +is our object, it is not so much that there are fewer opportunities of +exciting the feeling of envy at this approbation being granted to +others; there is, further, an instinctive feeling of its incompatibility +with the very object we are aiming at. The case is altogether different +when we seek to attract those whose admiration may be won by qualities +quite different from any connected with moral excellence. There is here +no restraint on our evil feelings: and when we cannot equal the +accomplishments, the beauty, and the graces of another, we may possibly +be tempted to envy, and, still further, to depreciate, those of the +hated rival--perhaps, worse than all, may be tempted to seek to attract +attention by means less simple and less obvious. If the receiving of +admiration be injurious to the mind, what must the seeking for it be! +"The flirt of many seasons" loses all mental perceptions of refinement +by long practice in hardihood, as the hackneyed practitioner +unconsciously deepens the rouge upon her cheek, until, unperceived by +her blunted visual organs, it loses all appearance of truth and beauty. +Some instances of the kind I allude to nave come before even your +inexperienced eyes; and from the shrinking surprise with which you now +contemplate them, I have no doubt that you would wish to shun even the +first step in the same career. Indeed, it is probable that you, under +any circumstances, would never go so far in coquetry as those to whom +your memory readily recurs. Your innate delicacy, your feminine +high-mindedness may, at any future time, as well as at present, preserve +you from the bad taste of challenging those attentions which your very +vanity would reject as worthless if they were not voluntarily offered. + +Nevertheless, even in you, habits of dissipation may produce an effect +which to your inmost being may be almost equally injurious. You may +possess an antidote to prevent any external manifestations of the +poisonous effects of an indulged craving for excitement; but general +admiration, however spontaneously offered and modestly received, has +nevertheless a tendency to create a necessity for mental stimulants. +This, among other ill-effects, will, worst of all, incapacitate you from +the appreciative enjoyment of healthy food. + + The heart that with its luscious cates + The world has fed so long, + Could never taste the simple food + That gives fresh virtue to the good, + Fresh vigour to the strong.[91] + +The pure and innocent pleasures which the hand of Providence diffuses +plentifully around us will, too probably, become tasteless and insipid +to one whose habits of excitement have destroyed the fresh and simple +tastes of her mind. Stronger doses, as in the case of the opium-eater, +will each day be required to produce an exhilarating effect, without +which there is now no enjoyment, without which, in course of time, there +will not be even freedom from suffering. + +There is an analogy throughout between the mental and the physical +intoxication; and it continues most strikingly, even when we consider +both in their most favourable points of view, by supposing the victim to +self-indulgence at last willing to retrace her steps. This fearful +advantage is granted to our spiritual enemy by wilful indulgence in sin; +that it is only when trying to adopt or resume a life of sobriety and +self-denial that we become exposed to the severest temporal punishments +of self-indulgence. As long as a course of this self-indulgence is +continued, if external things should prosper with us, comparative peace +and happiness may be enjoyed--(if indeed the loftier pleasures of +devotion to God, self-control, and active usefulness can be +forgotten,--supposing them to have been once experienced.) It is only +when the grace of repentance is granted that the returning child of God +becomes at the same time alive to the sinfulness of those pleasures +which she has cultivated the habit of enjoying, and to the mournful fact +of having lost all taste for those simple pleasures which are the only +safe ones, because they alone leave the mind free for the exercise of +devotion, and the affections warm and fresh for the contemplation of +"the things that belong to our peace." + +Sad and dreary is the path the penitent worldling has to traverse; +often, despairing at the difficulties her former habits have brought +upon her, she looks back, longingly and lingeringly, upon the broad and +easy path she has lately left. Alas! how many of those thus tempted to +"look back" have turned away entirely, and never more set their faces +Zion-ward. + +From the dangers and sorrows just described you have still the power of +preserving yourself. You have as yet acquired no factitious tastes; you +still retain the power of enjoying the simple pleasures of innocent +childhood. It now depends upon your manner of spending the intervening +years, whether, in the trying period of middle-age, simple and natural +pleasures will still awaken emotions of joyousness and thankfulness in +your heart. + +I have spoken of thankfulness,--for one of the best tests of the +innocence and safety of our pleasures is, the being able to thank God +for them. While we thus look upon them as coming to us from his hand, we +may safely bask in the sunshine of even earthly pleasures:-- + + The colouring may be of this earth, + The lustre comes of heavenly birth.[92] + +Can you feel this with respect to the emotions of pleasurable excitement +with which you left Lady M.'s ball? I am no fanatic, nor ascetic; and I +can imagine it possible (though not probable) that among the visitors +there some simple-minded and simple-hearted people, amused with the +crowds, the dresses, the music, and the flowers, may have felt, even in +this scene of feverish and dangerous excitement, something of "a child's +pure delight in little things."[93] Without profaneness, and in all +sincerity, they might have thanked God for the, to them, harmless +recreation. + +This I suppose possible in the case of some, but for you it is not so. +The keen susceptibilities of your excitable nature will prevent your +resting contented without sharing in the more exciting pleasures of the +ball-room; and your powers of adaptation will easily tempt you forward +to make use of at least some of those means of attracting general +admiration which seem to succeed so well with others. + +"Wherever there is life there is danger;" and the danger is probably in +proportion to the degree of life. The more energy, the more feeling, the +more genius possessed by an individual, the greater also are the +temptations to which that individual is exposed. The path which is safe +and harmless for the dull and inexcitable--the mere animals of the human +race--is beset with dangers for the ardent, the enthusiastic, the +intellectual. These must pay a heavy penalty for their superiority; but +is it therefore a superiority they would resign? Besides, the very +trials and temptations to which their superior vitality subjects them +are not alone its necessary accompaniment, but also the necessary means +for forming a superior character into eminent excellence. + +Self-will, love of pleasure, quick excitability, and consequent +irritability, are the marked ingredients in every strong character; its +strength must be employed against itself to produce any high moral +superiority. + +There is an analogy between the metaphysical truths above spoken of and +that fact in the physical history of the world, that coal-mines are +generally placed in the neighbourhood of iron-mines. This is a provision +involved in the nature of the thing itself; and we know that, without +the furnaces thus placed within reach, the natural capabilities of the +useful ore would never be developed. + +In the same way, we know that an accompanying furnace of affliction and +temptation is necessarily involved in that very strength of character +which we admire; and also, that, without this fiery furnace, the vast +capabilities of their nature, both moral and mental, could never be +fully developed. + +Suffering, sorrow, and temptations are the invariable conditions of a +life of progress; and suffering, sorrow, and temptations are all of them +always in proportion to the energies and capabilities of the character. + +There is another analogy in animated nature, illustrative of the case of +those who, without injury to themselves, (the injury to our neighbour +is, as I said before, a different part of the subject,) may attend the +ball-room, the theatre, and the race-course. Those animals lowest in the +scale of creation, those who scarcely manifest one of the energies of +vitality, are also those which are the least susceptible of suffering +from external causes. The medusae are supposed to feel no pain even in +being devoured, and the human zoophyte is, in like manner, comparatively +out of the reach of every suffering but death. Have you not seen some +beings endowed with humanity nearly as destitute of a nervous system as +the medusae, nearly as insusceptible of any sensation from the accidents +of life. Some of these, too, may possess virtue and piety as well as the +animal qualities of patience and sweetness of temper, which are the mere +results of their physical organization. No degree of effort or +discipline, however, (indeed they bear within themselves no capabilities +for either,) could enable such persons to become eminently useful, +eminently respected, or eminently loved. They have doubtless some work +appointed them to do, and that a necessary work in God's earthly +kingdom; but theirs are inferior duties, very different from those which +you, and such as you, are called on to fulfil. + +Have I in any degree succeeded in reconciling you to the +unvaryingly-accompanying penalties necessary to qualify the glad +consciousness of possessing intellectual powers, a warm heart, and a +strong mind? Your high position will indeed afford you far less +happiness than that which may belong to the lower ranks in the scale of +humanity; but the noble mind will soon be disciplined into dispensing +with happiness;--it will find instead--blessedness. + +If yours be a more difficult path than that of others, it is also a more +honourable one: in proportion to the temptations endured will be the +brightness of that "crown of life which the Lord hath promised to them +that love him."[94] + +But there is, perhaps, less necessity for trying to impress upon your +mind a sense of your superiority than for urging upon you its +accompanying responsibility, and the severe circumspection it calls upon +you to exercise. Thus, from what I have above written, it necessarily +follows that you cannot evade the question I am now pressing upon you by +observing the effect of dissipation upon others, by bringing forward the +example of many excellent women who have passed through the ordeal of +dissipation untainted, and, still themselves possessing loving hearts +and simple minds, are fearlessly preparing their daughters for the same +dangerous course. Remember that those from whom you would shrink from a +supposed equality on other points cannot be safely taken as examples for +your own course of life. Your own concern is to ascertain the effect +produced upon your own mind by different kinds of society, and to +examine whether you yourself have the same healthy taste for simple +pleasures and unexciting pursuits as before you engaged, even as +slightly as you have already done, in the dissipation of a London +season. + +I once heard a young lady exclaim, when asked to accompany her family on +a boating excursion, "Can any thing be more tiresome than a family +party?" Young as she was, she had already lost all taste for the simple +pleasures of domestic life. As she was intellectual and accomplished, +she could still enjoy solitude; but her only ideas of pleasure as +connected with a party were those of admiration and excitement. We may +trace the same feelings in the complaints perpetually heard of the +stupidity of parties,--complaints generally proceeding from those who +are too much accustomed to attention and admiration to be contented with +the unexciting pleasures of rational conversation, the exercise of +kindly feelings, and the indulgence of social habits--all in their way +productive of contentment to those who have preserved their mind in a +state of freshness and simplicity. Any greater excitement than that +produced by the above means cannot surely be profitable to those who +only seek in society for so much pleasure as will afford them +_relaxation_; those who engage in an arduous conflict with ever-watchful +enemies both within and without ought carefully to avoid having their +weapons of defence _unstrung_. I know that at present you would shrink +from the idea of making pleasure your professed pursuit, from the idea +of engaging in it for any other purpose but the one above stated--that +of necessary relaxation; I should not otherwise have addressed you as I +do now. Your only danger at present is, that you may, I should hope +indeed unconsciously, _acquire_ the habit of requiring excitement during +your hours of relaxation. + +In opposition to all that I have said, you will probably be often told +that excitement, instead of being prejudicial, is favourable to the +health of both mind and body; and this in some respects is true: the +whole mental and physical constitution benefit by, and acquire new +energy from, nay, they seem to develop hidden forces on occasions of +natural excitement; but natural it ought to be, coming in the +providential course of the events of life, and neither considered as an +essential part of daily food, nor inspiring distaste for simple, +ordinary nourishment. I fear much, on the other hand, any excitement +that we choose for ourselves; that only is quite safe which is dispensed +to us by the hand of the Great Physician of souls: he alone knows the +exact state of our moral constitution, and the exact species of +discipline it requires from hour to hour. + +You will wonder, perhaps, that throughout the foregoing remonstrance I +have never recommended to you the test so common among many good people +of our acquaintance, viz. whether you are able to pray as devoutly on +returning from a ball as after an evening spent at home? My reason for +this silence was, that I have found the test an ineffectual one. The +advanced Christian, if obedience to those who are set in authority over +her should lead her into scenes of dissipation, will not find her mind +disturbed by being an unwilling actor in the uninteresting amusements. +She, on the other hand, who is just beginning a spiritual life, must be +an incompetent judge of the variations in the devotional spirit of her +mind,--anxious, besides, as one should be to discourage any of that +minute attention to variations of religious feeling which only disturbs +and harasses the mind, and hinders it from concentrating its efforts +upon obedience. Lastly, she who has never been mindful of her baptismal +vows of renunciation of the world, the flesh, and the devil, will "say +her prayers" quite as satisfactorily to herself after a day spent in one +manner as in another. The test of a distaste for former simple +pursuits, and want of interest in them, is a much safer one, more +universally applicable, and not so easily evaded. It is equally +effectual, too, as a religious safeguard; for the natural and +impressible state in which the mind is kept by the absence of habitual +stimulants is surely the state in which it is best qualified for the +exercise of devotion,--for self-denial, for penitence and prayer. + +Let us return now to a further examination of the nature of the dangers +to which you may be exposed by a life of gayety--an examination that +must be carried on in your own mind with careful and anxious inquiry. I +have before spoken of the duty of ascertaining what effects different +kinds of society produce upon you: it is only by thus qualifying +yourself to pass your _own_ judgment on this important subject that you +can avoid being dangerously influenced by those assertions that you hear +made by others. You will probably, for instance, be told that a love of +admiration often manifests itself as glaringly in the quiet drawing-room +as in the crowded ball-room; and I readily admit that the feelings +cherished into existence, or at least into vigour, by the exciting +atmosphere of the latter cannot be readily laid aside with the +ball-dress. There will, indeed, be less opportunity for their display, +less temptation to the often accompanying feelings of envy and +discontent, but the mental process will probably still be carried on--of +distilling from even the most innocent pleasures but one species of +dangerous excitement: I cannot, however, admit, that to the +unsophisticated mind there will be any danger of the same nature in the +one case as in the other. Society, when entered into with a simple, +prayerful spirit, may be considered one of the most improving as well as +one of the most innocent pleasures allotted to us. Still further, I +believe that the exercise of patience, benevolence, and self-denial +which it involves, is a most important part of the disciplining process +by which we are being brought into a state of preparation for the +society of glorified spirits, of "just men made perfect." + +I advise you earnestly, therefore, against any system of conduct, or +indulgence of feeling, that would involve your seclusion from +society--not only on the grounds of such seclusion obliging you to +unnecessary self-denial, but on the still stronger grounds of the loss +to our moral being which would result from the absence of the peculiar +species of discipline that social intercourse affords. My object in +addressing you is to point out the dangers to you of peculiar kinds of +society, not by any means to seek to persuade you to avoid it +altogether. + +Let us, then, consider carefully the respective tendencies of different +kinds of society to cherish or create the feelings of "envy, hatred, and +malice, and all uncharitableness," by exciting a craving for general +admiration, and a desire to secure the largest portion for yourself. + +You have already been a few weeks out in the world; you have been at +small social parties and crowded balls: they must have given you +sufficient experience to understand the remarks I make. + +Have you not, then, felt at the quiet parties of which I have spoken (as +contrasted with dissipated ones) that it was pleasure enough for you to +spend your whole evening talking with persons of your own sex and age +over the simple occupations oL your daily-life, or the studies which +engage the interest of your already cultivated mind? Lady L. may have +collected a circle of admirers around her, and Miss M.'s music may have +been extolled as worthy of an artist, but upon all this you looked +merely as a spectator; without either wish or idea of sharing in their +publicity or their renown, you probably did not form a thought, +certainly not a wish, of the kind. In the ball-room, however, the case +is altogether different; the most simple and fresh-minded woman cannot +escape from feelings of pain or regret at being neglected or unobserved +here. She goes for the professed purpose of dancing; and when few or no +opportunities are afforded her of sharing in that which is the amusement +of the rest of the room, should she feel neither mortification at her +own position, nor envy, however disguised and modified, at the different +position of others, she can possess none of that sensitiveness which is +your distinctive quality. It is true, indeed, that the experienced +chaperon is well aware that the girl who commands the greatest number of +partners is not the one most likely to have the greatest number of +proposals-at the end of the season, nor the one who will finally make +the most successful _parti_. This reconciles the prudential looker-on to +the occasional and partial appearance of neglect. Not so the young and +inexperienced aspirant to admiration: _her_ worldliness is now in an +earlier phase; and she thinks that her fame rises or falls among her +companions according as she can compete with them in the number of her +partners, or their exclusive devotion to her, which after a season or +two is discovered to be a still safer test of successful coquetry. Thus +may the young innocent heart be gradually led on to depend for its +enjoyment on the factitious passing admiration of a light and +thoughtless hour; and still worse, if possessed of keen susceptibilities +and powers of quick adaptation, the lesson is often too easily learned +of practising the arts likely to attract notice, thus losing for ever +the simplicity and modest freshness of a woman's nature. That may be a +fatal evening to you on which you will first attract sufficient notice +to have it said of you that you were more admired than Lucy D. or Ellen +M.; this may be a moment for a poisonous plant to spring up in your +heart, which will spread around its baleful influence until your dying +day. It is a disputed point among ethical metaphysicians, whether the +seeds of every vice are equally planted in each human bosom, and only +prevented from germinating by opposing circumstances, and by the grace +of God assisting self-control. If this be true, how carefully ought we +to avoid every circumstance that may favour the commencing existence of +before unknown sins and temptations. The grain that has been destitute +of vitality for a score of centuries is wakened into unceasing, because +continually renewed existence, by the fostering influences of light and +air and a suitable soil. Evil tendencies may be slumbering in your +bosom, as destitute of life, as incapable of growth, as the oats in the +foldings of the mummy's envelope. Be careful lest, by going into the way +of temptation, you may involuntarily foster them into the very existence +which they would otherwise never possess. + +When once the craving for excitement has become a part of our nature, +there is of course no safety in the quietest, or, under other +circumstances, most innocent kind of society. The same amusements will +be sought for in it as those which have been enjoyed in the ball-room, +and every company will be considered insufferably wearisome which does +not furnish the now necessary stimulant of exclusive attention and +general admiration. + +I write the more strongly to you on the subject of worldly amusements, +because I see with regret a tendency in the writings and conversation of +the religious world, as it is called, to extol every other species of +self-denial, but to Observe a studied silence respecting this one. + +A reaction seems to have taken place in the public mind. Instead of the +puritanic strictness that condemned the meeting of a few friends for any +purposes besides those of reading the Scriptures and praying extempore, +practices are now introduced, and favoured, and considered harmless, +almost as strongly contrasted with the former ones as was the +promulgation of the Book of Sports with the strict observances that +preceded it. We see some, of whose piety and excellence no doubt can be +entertained, mingling unhesitatingly in the most worldly amusements of +those who are by profession as well as practice "lovers of pleasure more +than lovers of God." + +How cruelly are the minds of the simple and the timid perplexed by the +persons who thus act, as well as by those popular writings which +countenance in professedly religious persons these worldly and +self-indulgent habits of life. The hearts and the consciences of the +"weak brethren" re-echo the warnings given them by the average opinions +of the wise and good in all ages of the world, namely, that, with +respect to worldly amusements, they must "come out and be separate." How +else can they be sons and daughters of Him, to whom they vowed, as the +necessary condition of entering into that high relationship, that they +would "renounce the pomps and vanities of this wicked world?" If the +question of pomps should be perplexing to some by the different +requirements of different stations in life, there is surely less +difficulty of the same kind in relation to its vanities. But while the +"weak in faith" are hesitating and trembling at the thought of all the +opposition and sacrifices a self-denying course of conduct must, under +any circumstances, involve, they are still further discouraged by +finding that some whom they are accustomed to respect and admire have in +appearance gone over to the enemy's camp. + +It is only, indeed, in their hours of relaxation that they select as +their favourite companions those who are professedly engaged in a +different service from their own--those whom they know to be devoted +heart and soul to the love and service of that "world which lieth in +wickedness."[95] Are not, however, their hours of relaxation also their +hours of danger--those in which they are more likely to be surprised and +overcome by temptation than in hours of study or of business? All this +is surely very perplexing to the young and inexperienced, however +personally safe and prudent it may be for those from whom a better +example might have been justly expected. It is deeply to be regretted +that there is not more unity of action and opinion among those who "love +the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity," more especially in cases where such +unity of action is only interfered with by dislike to the important and +eminent Christian duty of self-denial. + +I am inclined to apply terms of stronger and more general condemnation +than any I have hitherto used to those amusements which are more +especially termed "public." + +You should carefully examine, with prayer to be guided aright, whether a +voluntary attendance at the theatre or the race-course is not in a +degree exposed to the solemn denunciation uttered by the Saviour against +those who cause others to offend.[96] Can that relaxation be a part of +the education to fit us for our eternal home which is regardless of +danger to the spiritual interests of others, and acts upon the spirit of +the haughty remonstrance of Cain--"Am I my brother's keeper?"[97] For +all the details of this argument, I refer you to Wilberforce's +"Practical View of Christianity." Many other writers besides have +treated this subject ably and convincingly; but none other has ever been +so satisfactory to my own mind: I think it will be so to yours. I am +aware that much may be said in defence of the expediency of the +amusements to which I refer; and as there is a certainty that both of +them, or others of a similar nature, will meet with general support +until "the kingdoms of this world become the kingdoms of the Lord and of +his Christ,"[98] it is a compensatory satisfaction that they are neither +of them without their advantages to the general welfare of the country; +that good is mixed with their evil, as well as brought out of their +evil. This does not, however, serve as an excuse for those who, having +their mind and judgment enlightened to see the dangers to others and the +temptations to themselves of attending such amusements, should still +disfigure lives, it may be, in other respects, of excellence and +usefulness, by giving their time, their money, and their example to +countenance and support them. Wo to those who venture to lay their +sinful human hands upon the complicated machinery of God's providence, +by countenancing the slightest shade of moral evil, because there may be +some accompanying good! We cannot look forward to a certain result from +any action: the most virtuous one may produce effects entirely different +from those which we had anticipated; and we can then only fearlessly +leave the consequences in the hands of God, when we are sure that we +have acted in strict accordance with His will. Does it become the +servant of God voluntarily to expose herself to hear contempt and +blasphemy attached to the Holy Name and the holy things which she loves; +to see on the stage an awful mockery of prayer itself, on the +race-course the despair of the ruined gambler and the debasement of the +drunkard? The choice of the scenes you frequent now, of the company you +keep now, is of an importance involved in the very nature of things, +and not dependent alone on the expressed will of God. It is only the +pure in heart who can see God.[99] It is only those who have here +acquired a meetness for the inheritance of the saints in light[100] who +can enjoy its possession. + +It is almost entirely in this point of view that I have urged upon you +the close consideration of the permanent influences of every present +action. At your age, and with your inexperience, I know that there is an +especial aptness to deceive one's-self by considering the case of those +who, after leading a gay life for many years, have afterwards become the +most zealous and devoted servants of God. That such cases are to be met +with, is to the glory of the free grace of God: but what reason have you +to hope that you should be among this small number? Having once wilfully +chosen the pleasures of this life as your portion, on what promise do +you depend ever again to be awakened to a sense of the awful alternative +of fulfilling your baptismal vows, by renouncing the pomps and vanities +of the world, or becoming a withered branch of the vine into which you +were once grafted--a branch whose end is to be burned? + +Without urging further upon you this hackneyed, though still awful +warning, let me return once more to the peculiar point of view in which +I have, all along, considered the subject; namely, that each present act +and feeling, however momentary may be its indulgence, is an inevitable +preparation for eternity, by becoming a part of our never-dying moral +nature. You must deeply feel how much this consideration adds to the +improbability of your having any desires whatever to become the servant +of God some years hence, and how much it must increase in future every +difficulty and every unwillingness which you at present experience. + +Let us, however, suppose that God will still be merciful to you at the +last; that, after having devoted to the world during the years of your +youth that love, those energies, and those powers of mind which had been +previously vowed to his holier and happier service, he will still in +future years send you the grace of repentance; that he will effect such +a change in your heart and mind, that the world does not only become +unsatisfactory to you,--which is a very small way towards real +religion,--but that to love and serve God becomes to you the one thing +desirable above all others. Alas! it is even then, in the very hour of +redeeming mercy, of renewing grace, that your severest trials will +begin. Then first will you thoroughly experience how truly it is "an +evil thing and bitter, to forsake the Lord your God."[101] Then you will +find that every late effort at self-denial, simplicity of mind and +purpose, abstinence from worldly excitements, &c., is met, not only by +the evil instincts which belong to our nature, but by the superinduced +difficulty of opposing confirmed habits. + +Smoothly and tranquilly flows on the stream of habit, and we are unaware +of its growing strength until we try to erect an obstacle in its course, +and see this obstacle swept away by the long-accumulating power of the +current. + +In truth, all those who have wilfully added the power of evil habits to +the evil tendencies of their fallen nature must expect "to go mourning +all the days of their life." It is only to those who have served the +Lord from their youth that "wisdom's ways are ways of pleasantness, and +all her paths peace." To others, though by the grace of God they may be +finally saved, there is but a dreary prospect until the end come. They +must ever henceforth consult their safety by denying themselves many +pleasant things which the well-regulated mind of the habitually pious +may find not only safe but profitable. At the same time they sorrowfully +discover that they have lost all taste for those entirely simple +pleasures with which the path of God's obedient children is abundantly +strewn. Their path, on the contrary, is rugged, and their flowers are +few: their sun seldom shines; for they themselves have formed clouds out +of the vapours of earth, to intercept its warming and invigorating +radiance: what wonder, then, if some among them should turn it back into +the bright and sunny land of self-indulgence, now looking brighter and +more alluring than ever from its contrast with the surrounding gloom? + +Let not this dangerous risk be yours. While yet young--young in habits, +in energies, in affections, devote all to the service of the best of +masters. "The work of righteousness," even now, through difficulties, +self-denial, and anxieties, will be "peace, and the effect thereof +quietness and assurance for ever."[102] + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[89] 1 Cor. viii. 13. + +[90] Matt. xviii. 6, 7. + +[91] Milnes. + +[92] Keble. + +[93] French. + +[94] James i. 12. + +[95] 1 John v. 19. + +[96] Matt. xviii. 6, 7. + +[97] Gen. iv. 9. + +[98] Rev. xi. 15. + +[99] Matt. v. 8. + +[100] Col. i. 12. + +[101] Jer. ii. 19. + +[102] Isa. xxxii. 19. + + + + +THE INFLUENCE OF WOMEN ON SOCIETY.[103] + + +"Whatever may be the customs and laws of a country, women always give +the tone to morals. Whether slaves or free, they reign, because their +empire is that of the affections. This influence, however, is more or +less salutary, according to the degree of esteem in which they are +held:--they make men what they are. It seems as though Nature had made +man's intellect depend upon their dignity, as she has made his happiness +depend upon their virtue. This, then, is the law of eternal +justice,--man cannot degrade woman without himself falling into +degradation: he cannot elevate her without at the same time elevating +himself. Let us cast our eyes over the globe! Let us observe those two +great divisions of the human race, the East and the West. Half the old +world remains in a state of inanity, under the oppression of a rude +civilization: the women there are slaves; the other advances in +equalization and intelligence: the women there are free and honoured. + +"If we wish, then, to know the political and moral condition of a +state, we must ask what rank women hold in it. Their influence embraces +the whole life. A wife,--a mother,--two magical words, comprising the +sweetest sources of man's felicity. Theirs is the reign of beauty, of +love, of reason. Always a reign! A man takes counsel with his wife; he +obeys his mother; he obeys her long after she has ceased to live, and +the ideas which he has received from her become principles stronger even +than his passions. + +"The reality of the power is not disputed; but it may be objected that +it is confined in its operation to the family circle: as if the +aggregate of families did not constitute the nation! The man carries +with him to the forum the notions which the woman has discussed with him +by the domestic hearth. His strength there realizes what her gentle +insinuations inspired. It is sometimes urged as matter of complaint that +the business of women is confined to the domestic arrangements of the +household: and it is not recollected that from the household of every +citizen issue forth the errors and prejudices which govern the world! + +"If, then, there be an incontestable fact, it is the influence of women: +an influence extended, with various modifications, through the whole of +life. Such being the case, the question arises, by what inconceivable +negligence a power of universal operation has been overlooked by +moralists, who, in their various plans for the amelioration of mankind, +have scarcely deigned to mention this potent agent. Yet evidence, +historical and parallel, proves that such negligence has lost to mankind +the most influential of all agencies. The fact of its existence cannot +be disputed; it is, therefore, of the greatest importance that its +nature should be rightly understood, and that it be directed to right +objects."[104] + +It would not be uninteresting to trace the action and reaction by which +women have degraded and been degraded--alternately the source and the +victims of mistaken social principles; but it would be foreign to the +design and compass of this work to do so. The subject, indeed, would +afford matter for a philosophical treatise of deep interest, rather than +for a chapter of a small work. A rapid historical sketch, and a few +deductions which seem to bear upon the main point, are all that can be +here attempted. + +The gospel announced on this, as on every other subject, a grand +comprehensive principle, which it was to be the work of ages (perhaps of +eternity) to develop. The rescue of this degraded half of the human race +was henceforth the ascertained will of the Almighty. But a long series +of years were to elapse before this will worked out its issues. Its +decrees, with the noble doctrines of which it formed a part, lay buried +beneath the ruins of human intellect. But they were only buried, not +destroyed; and rose, like wildflowers on a ruined edifice, to adorn the +irregularity which they could not conceal. The fantastic institutions of +chivalry which it is now the fashion to deride (how unjustly!) were +among the first scions of this plant of heavenly origin. They bore the +impress of heaven, faint and distorted indeed, but not to be mistaken! +Devotion to an ideal good,--self-sacrifice,--subjugation of selfish and +sensual feelings; wherever these principles are found, disguised, +disfigured though they be, they are not of the earth,--earthly. They, +like the fabled amaranth, are plants which are not indigenous here +below! The seeds must come from above, from the source of all that is +pure, of all that is good! Of these principles the gospel was the remote +source: women were the disseminators. "Shut up in their castellated +towers, they civilized the warriors who despised their weakness, and +rendered less barbarous the passions and prejudices which themselves +shared."[105] It was they who directed the savage passions and brute +force of men to an unselfish aim, the defence of the weak, and added to +courage the only virtue then recognised--humanity. "Thus chivalry +prepared the way for law, and civilization had its source in +gallantry."[106] + +At this epoch, the influence of women was decidedly beneficial; happy +for them and for society if it had continued to be so! If we attempt to +trace the source of this influence, we shall find it in the intellectual +equality of the two sexes; equally ignorant of what we call knowledge, +the respect due by men to virtue and beauty was not checked by any +disdain of real or fancied superiority on their part. + +The intellectual exercises (chiefly imaginative) of the time, so far +from forming a barrier between the two sexes, were a bond of union. The +song of the minstrel was devoted to the praise of beauty, and paid by +her smile. The spirit of the age, as imbodied in these effusions, is +the best proof of the beneficial influence exercised over that age by +our sex. In them, the name of woman is not associated in the degrading +catalogue of man's pleasures, with his bottle and his horse, but is +coupled with all that is fair and pure in nature,--the fields, the +birds, the flowers; or high in virtue or sentiment,--with honour, glory, +self-sacrifice. + +To the age of chivalry succeeded the revival of letters; and (strange to +say!) this revival was any thing but advantageous to the cause of women. +Men found other paths to glory than the exercise of valour afforded, and +paths into which women were forbidden to follow them. Into these +newly-discovered regions, women were not allowed to penetrate, and men +returned thence with real or affected contempt for their unintellectual +companions, without having attained true wisdom enough to know how much +they would gain by their enlightenment. + +The advance of intelligence in men not being met by a corresponding +advance in women, the latter lost their equilibrium in the social +balance. Honour, glory, were no longer attached to the smile of beauty. +The dethroned sovereigns, from being imperious, became abject, and +sought, by paltry arts, to perpetuate the empire which was no longer +conceded as a right. Influence they still possessed, but an influence +debased in its character, and changed in its mode of operation. Instead +of being the objects of devotion of heart,--fantastic, indeed, but +high-minded,--they became the mere playthings of the imagination, or +worse, the mere objects of sensual passion. Respect is the only sure +foundation of influence. Women had ceased to be respected: they +therefore ceased to be beneficially influential. That they retained +another and a worse kind of influence, may be inferred from the spirit, +as imbodied in the literature, of the period. Fiction no longer sought +its heroes among the lofty in mind and pure in morals--its heroines in +spotless virgins and faithful wives. The reckless voluptuary, the +faithless and successful adulteress,--these were the noble beings whose +deeds filled the pages which formed the delight of the wise and the +fair. The ultimate issues of these grievous errors were most strikingly +developed in the respective courts of Louis XIV. and Charles II., where +they reached their climax. The vicious influence of which we have spoken +was then at its height, and the degradation of women had brought on its +inevitable consequence, the degradation of men. With some few +exceptions, (such exceptions, indeed, prove rules!) we trace this evil +influence in the contempt of virtue, public and private; in the base +passions, the narrow and selfish views peculiar to degraded women, and +reflected on the equally degraded men whom such women could have power +to charm.[107] + +A change of opinions and of social arrangements has long been operating, +which ought entirely to have abrogated these evils. That they have not +done so is owing to a grand mistake. Women having recovered their +rights, moral and intellectual, have resumed their importance in the eye +of reason: they have long been the ornaments of society, which from them +derives its tone, and it has become too much the main object of their +education to cultivate the accomplishments which may make them such. A +twofold injury has arisen from this mistaken aim; it has blinded women +as to the true nature and end of their existence, and has excited a +spirit of worldly ambition opposed to the devoted unselfishness +necessary for its accomplishment. This is the error of the +unthinking--the reflecting have fallen into another, but not less +serious one. The coarse, but expressive satire of Luther, "That the +human mind is like an intoxicated man on horseback,--if he is set up on +one side, he falls off on the other," was never more fully justified +than on this subject. Because it is perceived that women have a dignity +and value greater than society or themselves have discovered,--because +their talents and virtues place them on a footing of equality with men, +it is maintained that their present sphere of action is too contracted a +one, and that they ought to share in the public functions of the other +sex. Equality, mental and _physical_, is proclaimed! This is matter too +ludicrous to be treated anywhere but in a professed satire; in sober +earnest, it may be asked, upon what grounds so extraordinary a doctrine +is built up! Were women allowed to act out these principles, it would +soon appear that one great range of duty had been left unprovided for in +the schemes of Providence; such an omission would be without parallel. +Two principal points only can here be brought forward, which oppose this +plan at the very outset; they are-- + +1st. Placing the two sexes in the position of rivals, instead of +coadjutors, entailing the diminution of female influence. + +2d. Leaving the important duties of woman only in the hands of that part +of the sex least able to perform them efficiently. + +The principle of divided labour seems to be a maxim of the Divine +government, as regards the creature. It is only by a concentration of +powers to one point, that so feeble a being as man can achieve great +results. Why should we wish to set aside this salutary law, and disturb +the beautiful simplicity of arrangement which has given to man the +power, and to woman the influence, to second the plans of Almighty +goodness? They are formed to be co-operators, not rivals, in this great +work; and rivals they would undoubtedly become, if the same career of +public ambition and the same rewards of success were open to both. +Woman, at present, is the regulating power of the great social machine, +retaining, through the very exclusion complained of, the power to judge +of questions by the abstract rules of right and wrong--a power seldom +possessed by those whose spirits are chafed by opposition and heated by +personal contest. + +The second resulting evil is a grave one, though, in treating of it, +also, it is difficult to steer clear of ludicrous associations. The +political career being open to women, it is natural to suppose that all +the most gifted of the sex would press forward to confer upon their +country the benefit of their services, and to reap for themselves the +distinction which such services would obtain; the duties hitherto +considered peculiar to the sex would sink to a still lower position in +public estimation than they now hold, and would be abandoned to those +least able conscientiously to fulfil them. The combination of +legislative and maternal duties would indeed be a difficult task, and, +of course, the least ostentatious would be sacrificed. + +Yet women have a mission! ay, even a political mission of immense +importance! which they will best fulfil by moving in the sphere assigned +them by Providence: not comet-like, wandering in irregular orbits, +dazzling indeed by their brilliancy, but terrifying by their eccentric +movements and doubtful utility. That the sphere in which they are +required to move is no mean one, and that its apparent contraction +arises only from a defect of intellectual vision, it is the object of +the succeeding chapters to prove. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[103] We hare come to the close of the Letters. The following pages are +quoted from writers of eminence, and bear directly upon the main subject +of "Female Education." The first quotations are from the anonymous +author of "Woman's Mission." They are of inestimable value. EDITOR. + +[104] Aime Martin. + +[105] Aime Martin. + +[106] Ibid. + +[107] See the Memoirs of Pepys, Evelyn, De Grammont, &c. + + + + +THE SPHERE OF WOMAN'S INFLUENCE. + + +"The fact of this influence being proved, it is of the utmost importance +that it be impressed upon the mind of women, and that they be +enlightened as to its true nature and extent." + +The task is as difficult as it is important, for it demands some +exercise of sober judgment to view it with requisite impartiality; it +requires, too, some courage to encounter the charge of inconsistency +which a faithful discharge of it entails. For it _is_ an apparent +inconsistency to recommend at the same time expansion of views and +contraction of operation; to awaken the sense of power, and to require +that the exercise of it be limited; to apply at once the spur and the +rein. That intellect is to be invigorated only to enlighten +conscience--that conscience is to be enlightened only to act on +details--that accomplishments and graces are to be cultivated only, or +chiefly, to adorn obscurity;--a list of somewhat paradoxical +propositions indeed, and hard to be received; yet, upon their favourable +reception depends, in my opinion, the usefulness of our influence, the +destinies of our race; and it is my intention to direct all my +observations to this point. + +It is astonishing and humiliating to perceive how frequently human +wisdom, especially argumentative wisdom, is at fault as to results, +while accident, prejudices, or common sense seem to light upon truths +which reason feels after without finding. It appears as though _a +priori_ reasoning, human nature being the subject, is like a skilful +piece of mechanism, carefully and scientifically put together, but which +some perverse and occult trifle will not permit to act. This is +eminently true of many questions regarding education, and precisely the +state of the argument concerning the position and duties of women. The +facts of moral and intellectual equality being established, it seems +somewhat irrational to condemn women to obscurity and detail for their +field of exertion, while men usurp the extended one of public +usefulness. And a good case may be made out on this very point. Yet the +conclusions are false and pernicious, and the prejudices which we now +smile at as obsolete are truths of nature's own imparting, only wanting +the agency of comprehensive intelligence to make them valuable, by +adapting them to the present state of society. For, as one atom of +falsehood in first principles nullifies a whole theory, so one +principle, fundamentally true, suffices to obviate many minor errors. +This fundamentally true principle, I am prepared to show, exists in the +established opinions concerning the true sphere of women, and that, +whether originally dictated by reason, or derived from a sort of +intuition, they are right, and for this cause: the one quality on which +woman's value and influence depend is the renunciation of self; and the +old prejudices respecting her inculcated self-renunciation. Educated in +obscurity, trained to consider the fulfilment of domestic duties as the +aim and end of her existence, there was little to feed the appetite for +fame, or the indulgence of self-idolatry. Now, here the principle +fundamentally bears upon the very qualities most desirable to be +cultivated, and those most desirable to be avoided. A return to the +practical part of the system is by no means to be recommended, for, with +increasing intellectual advantages, it is not to be supposed that the +perfection of the conjugal character is to consult a husband's palate +and submit to his ill-humour--or of the maternal, to administer in due +alternation the sponge and the rod. All that is contended for is, that +the fundamental principle is right--"that women were to live for +others;" and, therefore, all that we have to do is to carry out this +fundamentally right principle into wider application. It may easily be +done, if the cultivation of intellectual powers be carried on with the +same views and motives as were formerly the knowledge of domestic +duties, for the benefit of immediate relations, and for the fulfilment +of appointed duties. If society at large be benefited by such +cultivation, so much the better; but it ought to be no part of the +training of women to consider, with any personal views, what effect they +shall produce in or on society at large. The greatest benefit which they +can confer upon society is to be what they ought to be in all their +domestic relations; that is, to be what they ought to be, in all the +comprehensiveness of the term, as adapted to the present state of +society. Let no woman fancy that she can, by any exertion or services, +compensate for the neglect of her own peculiar duties as such. It is by +no means my intention to assert that women should be passive and +indifferent spectators of the great political questions which affect +the well-being of community; neither can I repeat the old adage, that +"women have nothing to do with politics." They have, and ought to have +much to do with politics. But in what way? It has been maintained that +their public participation in them would be fatal to the best interests +of society. How, then, are women to interfere in politics? As moral +agents; as representatives of the moral principle; as champions of the +right in preference to the expedient; by their endeavours to instil into +their relatives of the other sex the uncompromising sense of duty and +self-devotion, which ought to be _their_ ruling principles! The immense +influence which women possess will be most beneficial, if allowed to +flow in its natural channels, viz. domestic ones,--because it is of the +utmost importance to the existence of influence, that purity of motive +be unquestioned. It is by no means affirmed that women's political +feelings are always guided by the abstract principles of right and +wrong; but they are surely more likely to be so, if they themselves are +restrained from the public expression of them. Participation in scenes +of popular emotion has a natural tendency to warp conscience and +overcome charity. Now, conscience and charity (or love) are the very +essence of woman's beneficial influence; therefore every thing tending +to blunt the one and sour the other is sedulously to be avoided by her. +It is of the utmost importance to men to feel, in consulting a wife, a +mother, or a sister, that they are appealing _from_ their passions and +prejudices, and not _to_ them, as imbodied in a second self: nothing +tends to give opinions such weight as the certainty that the utterer of +them is free from all petty or personal motives. The beneficial +influence of woman is nullified if once her motives, or her personal +character, come to be the subject of attack; and this fact alone ought +to induce her patiently to acquiesce in the plan of seclusion from +public affairs. + +It supposes, indeed, some magnanimity in the possessors of great powers +and widely extended influence, to be willing to exercise them with +silent, unostentatious vigilance. There must be a deeper principle than +usually lies at the root of female education, to induce women to +acquiesce in the plan, which, assigning to them the responsibility, has +denied them the _eclat_ of being reformers of society. Yet it is, +probably, exactly in proportion to their reception of this truth, and +their adoption of it into their hearts, that they will fulfil their own +high and lofty mission; precisely because the manifestation of such a +spirit is the one thing needful for the regeneration of society. It is +from her being the depository and disseminator of such a spirit, that +woman's influence is principally derived. It appears to be for this end +that Providence has so lavishly endowed her with moral qualities, and, +above all, with that of love,--the antagonist spirit of selfish +worldliness, that spirit which, as it is vanquished or victorious, bears +with it the moral destinies of the world! Now, it is proverbially as +well as scripturally true, that love "seeketh not its own" interest, but +the good of others, and finds its highest honour, its highest happiness, +in so doing. This is precisely the spirit which can never be too much +cultivated by women, because it is the spirit by which their highest +triumphs are to be achieved: it is they who are called upon to show +forth its beauty, and to prove its power; every thing in their +education should tend to develop self-devotion and self-renunciation. +How far existing systems contribute to this object, it must be our next +step to inquire. + + + + +EDUCATION OF WOMEN. + + +"The education of women is more important than that of men, since that +of men is always their work."[108] + +We are now to consider how far the present systems of female education +tend to the great end here mentioned--the truth of which, reflection and +experience combine to prove. Great is the boast of the progress of +education; great would be the indignation excited by a doubt as to the +fact of this progress. "A simple question will express this doubt more +forcibly, and place this subject in a stronger light: 'Are women +qualified to educate men?' If they are not, no available progress has +been made. In the very heart of civilized Europe, are women what they +ought to be? and does not their education prove how little we know the +consequences of neglecting it?"[109] Is it possible to believe, that +upon their training depends the happiness of families--the well-being of +nations? The selfishness, political and social; the forgetfulness of +patriotism; the unregulated tempers and low ambition of the one sex, +testify but too clearly how little has been done by the vaunted +education of the other. For education is useless, or at least neutral, +if it do not bear upon duty, as well as upon cultivation, if it do not +expand the soul, while it enlightens the intellect. + +How far expansion of soul, or enlightenment of intellect, is to be +expected from the present systems of female education, we have seen in +effects,--let us now go back to causes. + +It is unnecessary to start from the prejudice of ignorance; it is now +universally acknowledged that women have a right to education, and that +they must be educated. We smile with condescending pity at the blinded +state of our respected grandmothers, and thank God that we are not as +they, with a thanksgiving as uncalled for as that of the proud Pharisee. +On abstract ground, their education was better than ours; it was a +preparation for their future duties. It does not affect the question, +that their notion of these duties was entirely confined to the physical +comfort of husbands and children. The defect of the scheme, as has been +argued, was not in rationality, but in comprehensiveness,--a +fundamentally right principle being the basis, it is easy to extend the +application of it indefinitely. + +Indiscriminate blame, however, is as invidious as it is useless; if the +fault-finder be not also the fault-mender, the exercise of his powers +is, at best, but a negative benefit. Let us, therefore, enter into a +calm examination of the two principal ramifications, into which +education has insensibly divided itself, as far as the young women of +our own country are concerned; bearing in mind that women can only +exercise their true influence, inasmuch as they are free from +worldly-mindedness and egotism, and that, therefore, no system of +education can be good which does not tend to subdue the selfish and +bring out the unselfish principle. The systems alluded to are these:-- + +1st. The education of accomplishments for shining in society. + +2d. Intellectual education, or that of the mental powers. + +What are the objects of either? To prepare the young for life; its +subsequent trials; its weighty duties; its inevitable termination? We +will examine the principles on which both these educations are made to +work, and see whether, or how far, they have any relation to those most +called for, by the future and presumed duties of the educated. The +worldly and the intellectual, alternately objects of contempt to each +other, are equally objects of pity to the wise, as mistaken in their +end, and deceived as to the means of attaining that end. + +The education of accomplishments, (especially as conducted in this +country,) would be a risible, if it were not a painful subject of +contemplation. Intense labour; immense sums of money; hours, nay, days +of valuable time! What a list of sacrifices! Now for results. Of the +many who thus sacrifice time, health, and property, how few attain even +a moderate proficiency. The love of beauty, the power of self-amusement +(if obtained) might, in some degree, justify these sacrifices; they are +valuable ends in themselves, still more valuable from contingent +advantages. There is a deep influence hidden under these beautiful +arts,--an influence far deeper than the world in its thoughtlessness, or +the worldly student in his vanity, ever can know,--an influence +refining, consoling, elevating: they afford a channel into which the +lofty aspirings, the unsatisfied yearnings of the pure and elevated in +soul may pour themselves. The perception of the beautiful is, next to +the love of our fellow-creatures, the most purely unselfish of all our +natural emotions, and is, therefore, a most powerful engine in the hands +of those who regard selfishness as the giant passion, whose castle must +be stormed before any other conquest can be begun, and in vanquishing +whom all lawful and innocent weapons should, by turns, be employed. + +Let us consider how we employ this mighty ally of virtue and loftiness +of soul. Into the cultivation of the arts, disguised under the hackneyed +name of accomplishments, does one particle of intellectuality creep? +Would not many of their ablest professors and most diligent +practitioners stare, with unfeigned wonder, at the supposition, that the +five hours per diem devoted to the piano and the easel had any other +object than to accomplish the fingers? The idea of their influencing the +head would be ridiculous! of their improving the heart, preposterous! +Yet if both head and heart do not combine in these pursuits, how can the +cultivators justify to themselves the devotion of time and labour to +their acquisition: time and labour, in many cases, abstracted from the +performance of present, or preparation for future duties,--this is +especially applicable to the middle classes of society. + +Let us now turn to the issues of this education! The accomplishments +acquired at such cost must be displayed. To whom? the possessor has no +delight in them,--her immediate relatives, perhaps, no taste for +them;--to strangers, therefore. It is not necessary to make many +strictures on this subject; the rage for universal exhibition has been +written and talked down: in fact, there are great hopes for the world +in this particular; it has descended so low in the scale of society, +that we trust it will soon be exploded altogether. The fashion, +therefore, need not be here treated of, but the spirit which it has +engendered, and which will survive its parent. This, as influencing the +female character--especially the maternal--bears greatly upon the point +in view;--to live for the applause of the foolish _many_, instead of the +approbation of the well-judging _few_; to rule duty, conscience, morals, +by a low worldly standard; to view worldly admiration as the aim, and +worldly aggrandizement as the end of life; these are a few,--a very few, +indications of this spirit, and these have infected every rank, from the +highest to the middle and lower classes of society. To every thing +gentle or refined, to every thing lofty or dignified in the female +character, this spirit is utterly opposed. Refinement would teach to +shun the vulgar applause which almost insults its object,--dignity would +shrink from displaying before heartless crowds those emotions of the +soul, without which all art is vulgar,--and how can women, who have +neither refinement nor dignity, retail that influence which, rightly +used, is to be so great an engine in the regeneration of society? How +can the vain and selfish exhibitor of paltry acquirements ever mature +into the mother of the Gracchi, the tutelary guardian of the rising +virtues of the commonwealth? It is in vain to hope it. + +Before making any strictures on intellectual education, it is necessary +to enter into a short explanation; for it is not denied that +rightly-cultivated mental power is a great good. The kind of cultivation +which is here decried is open to the same objections as the last +mentioned. It is the cultivation of power, with a view, not to the +happiness of the individual, but to her fame; not to her usefulness, but +to her brilliancy. We have only to look round society, and see that +intellect has its vanity as well as beauty or accomplishments, and that +its effects are more mischievous. It has a hardening, deadening kind of +influence; the more so, that the so-called mental cultivation frequently +consists only of a pedantic heaping up of information, valuable indeed +in itself, but wanting the principle of combination to make it useful. +Stones and bricks are valuable things, very valuable; but they are not +beautiful or useful till the hand of the architect has given them a +form, and the cement of the bricklayer has knit them together. It is a +fine expression of Miss Edgeworth, in speaking of the mind of one of her +heroines, "that the stream of literature had passed over it was apparent +only from its fertility." Intellectual cultivation was too long +considered as education, properly so called. The mischief which this +error has produced, is exactly in proportion to the increase of power +thereby communicated to wrong principles. + +What, then, is the true object of female education? The best answer to +this question is, a statement of future duties; for it must never be +forgotten, that if education be not a training for future duties, it is +nothing. The ordinary lot of woman is to marry. Has any thing in these +educations prepared her to make a wise choice in marriage? To be a +mother! Have the duties of maternity,--the nature of moral +influence,--been pointed out to her? Has she ever been enlightened as +to the consequent unspeakable importance of personal character as the +source of influence? In a word, have any means, direct or indirect, +prepared her for her duties? No! but she is a linguist, a pianist, +graceful, admired. What is that to the purpose? The grand evil of such +an education is the mistaking means for ends; a common error, and the +source of half the moral confusion existing in the world. It is the +substitution of the part for a whole. The time when young women enter +upon life, is the one point to which all plans of education tend, and at +which they all terminate: and to prepare them for that point is the +object of their training. Is it not cruel to lay up for them a store of +future wretchedness, by an education which has no period in view but +one; a very short one, and the most unimportant and irresponsible of the +whole of life? Who that had the power of choice would choose to buy the +admiration of the world for a few short years with the happiness of a +whole life? the temporary power to dazzle and to charm, with the growing +sense of duties undertaken only to be neglected, and responsibilities +the existence of which is discovered perhaps simultaneously with that of +an utter inability to meet them? Even if the mischief stopped here, it +would be sufficiently great; but the craving appetite for applause once +roused, is not so easily lulled again. The moral energies, pampered by +unwholesome nourishment,--like the body when disordered by luxurious +dainties,--refuse to perform their healthy functions, and thus is +occasioned a perpetual strife and warfare of internal principles; the +selfish principle still seeking the accustomed gratification, the +conjugal and maternal prompting to the performance of duty. But duty is +a cold word; and people, in order to find pleasure in duty, must have +been trained to consider their duties as pleasures. This is a truth at +which no one arrives by inspiration! And in this moral struggle, which, +like all other struggles, produces lassitude and distaste of all things, +the happiness of the individual is lost, her usefulness destroyed, her +influence most pernicious. For nothing has so injurious an effect on +temper and manners, and consequently on moral influence, as the want of +that internal quiet which can only arise from the accordance of duty +with inclination. Another most pernicious effect is, the deadening +within the heart of the feeling of love, which is the root of all +influence; for it is an extraordinary fact, that vanity acts as a sort +of refrigerator on all men--on the possessor of it, and on the observer. + +Now, if conscientiousness and unselfishness be the two main supports of +women's beneficial influence, how can any education be good which has +not the cultivation of these qualities for its first and principal +object? The grand objects, then, in the education of women, ought to be, +the conscience, the heart, and the affections; the development of those +moral qualities which Providence has so liberally bestowed upon them, +doubtless with a wise and beneficent purpose. Originators of +conscientiousness, how can they implant what they have never cultivated, +nor brought to maturity in themselves? Sovereigns of the affections, how +can they direct the kingdom whose laws they have not studied, the +springs of whose government are concealed from them? The conscience and +the affections being primarily enlightened, all other cultivation, as +secondary, is most valuable. Intelligence, accomplishments, even +external elegance, become objects of importance, as assisting the +influence which women have, and exert too often for unworthy ends, but +which in this case could not fail to be beneficial. Let the light of +intellect and the charm of accomplishments be the willing handmaids of +cultivated and enlightened conscience. Cultivate the intellect with +reference to the conscience, that views of duty may be comprehensive, as +well as just; cultivate the imagination still with reference to the +conscience, that those inward aspirations which all indulge, more or +less, may be turned from the gauds of an idle and vain imagination, and +shed over daily life and daily duty the halo of a poetic influence; +cultivate the manners, that the qualities of heart and head may have an +additional auxiliary in obtaining that influence by which a mighty +regeneration is to be worked. The issues of such an education will +justify the claims made for women in these pages; then the spirit of +vanity will yield to the spirit of self-devotion: that spirit +confessedly natural to Women, and only perverted by wrong education. +Content with the sphere of usefulness assigned her by Nature and +Nature's God, viewing that sphere with the piercing eye of intellect, +and gilding it with the beautiful colours of the imagination, she will +cease the vain and almost impious attempt to wander from it. She will +see and acknowledge the beauty, the harmony of the arrangement which has +made her physical inferiority (the only inferiority which we +acknowledge) the very root from which spring her virtues and their +attendant influences. Removed from the actual collision of political +contests, and screened from the passions which such engender, she brings +party questions to the test of the unalterable principles of reason and +religion; she is, so to speak, the guardian angel of man's political +integrity, liable at the best to be warped by passion or prejudice, and +excited by the rude clashing of opinions and interests. This is the true +secret of woman's political influence, the true object of her political +enlightenment. Governments will never be perfect till all distinction +between private and public virtue, private and public honour, be done +away! Who so fit an agent for the operation of this change as +enlightened, unselfish woman? Who so fit, in her twofold capacity of +companion and early instructor, to teach men to prefer honour to gain, +duty to ease, public to private interests, and God's work to man's +inventions? And shall it be said that women have no political existence, +no political influence, when the very germs of political regeneration +may spring from them alone, when the fate of nations yet unborn may +depend upon the use which they make of the mighty influences committed +to their care? The blindness which sees not how these influences would +be lessened by taking her out of the sphere assigned by Providence, if +voluntary, is wicked--if real, is pitiable. As well might we desire the +earth's beautiful satellite to give place to a second sun, thereby +producing the intolerable and glaring continuity of perpetual day. Those +who would be the agents of Providence must observe the workings of +Providence, and be content to work also in that way, and by those means, +which Almighty wisdom appoints. There is infinite littleness in +despising small things. It seems paradoxical to say that there are no +small things; our littleness and our aspiration make things appear +small. There are, morally speaking, no small duties. Nothing that +influences human virtue and happiness can be really trifling,--and what +more influences them than the despised, because limited, duties assigned +to woman? It is true, her reward (her task being done) is not of this +world, nor will she wish it to be--enough for her to be one of the most +active and efficient agents in her heavenly Father's work of man's +regeneration,--enough for her that generations yet unborn shall rise up +and call her blessed. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[108] Aime Martin. + +[109] Ibid. + + + + +LOVE--MARRIAGE. + + +The conventual and monastic origin of all systems of education has had a +very injurious influence, on that of women especially, because the +conventual spirit has been longer retained in it. + +If no education be good which does not bear upon the future duties of +the educated, it follows that the systematic exclusion of any one +subject connected with, or bearing upon, future duties, must be an evil. +The wisdom of employing those who had renounced the world to form the +minds of those who were to mix in it, to be exposed in all its +allurements, to share in all its duties, was doubtful indeed; and the +danger was enhanced by the fact, that the majority of recluses were any +thing but indifferent to the world which they had renounced. The convent +was too often the refuge of disappointed worldliness, the grave of +blasted hopes, or the prison of involuntary victims; a withering +atmosphere this in which to place warm young hearts, and expect them to +expand and flourish. The evil effects would be varied according to the +different characters submitted to its influence. The sensitive entered +upon life oppressed with fears and terrors; with a conscience morbid, +not enlightened; bewildered by the impossibility of reconciling +principles and duties. The ardent and sanguine, longing to escape from +restraint, pictured to themselves, in these unknown and untried +regions, delights infinite and unvaried; and, seeing the incompatibility +of inculcated principles and worldly pleasures, discarded principle +altogether. It is needless to pursue this subject further, because a +universal assent will (in this country, at least,) await the remarks +here made; their applicability to what follows may not at first be so +apparent. The conventual spirit has survived conventual +institutions,--in the department of female education especially. + +In the first place, the instructors of female youth are considered +respectable and trustworthy only in proportion as they cease to be +young, or at least in proportion as they appear to forget that they ever +were so. Any touch of sympathy for the follies of childhood, or the +indiscretions of youth, would blast the prospects of a candidate for +that honourable office, and, in the opinion of many, render her unfit +for its fulfilment. The unfitness is attached to the opposite +disposition; for the very fact of its existence is as effectual an +obstacle to her being a good trainer of youth, as if she had taken a vow +never to see the world but through an iron grating. Experience can never +benefit youth, except when combined with indulgence. The instructor who, +from the heights of past temptations and subdued passion, looks down +with cool watchfulness on the struggles of his youthful pupil, will see +him lie floundering in the mire, or perishing in the deep water. He must +retrace his own steps, take him by the hand, and sustain him, till he is +passed the dangerous and slippery paths of youth. He must become as a +little child to the young and frail being committed to his care, and +whose welfare and safety depend (in great measure) upon him. A cold and +unloving admiration never will produce imitation: it is like the +hopeless love of poor Helena:-- + + 'Twere all as one as I should love a bright particular star! + +Here, then, the conventual spirit has been in injurious operation;--no +less so on other points. + +This conventual prejudice has banished from our school-rooms the name of +love, and presented to their youthful inmates fragments instead of +books, cramped and puny publications instead of the works of +master-spirits, lest the mind should be contaminated by any allusion to +that passion contained in them. The wisdom of such a proceeding is much +upon a par with that which devoted the feet to stocks and the shoulders +to backboards, in order to make them elegant, and denied them heaven's +air and active exercise through care for their health. The result, in +the one case as in the other, is disease and distortion. Nature will +assert her rights over the beings she has made; and she avenges, by the +production of deformity, all attempts to force or shackle her +operations. The golden globe could not check the expansive force of +water; equally useless is it to attempt any check on the expansive force +of mind,--it will ooze out! We ought long ago to have been convinced +that the only power allowed to us is the power of direction. If one-half +the amount of effort expanded to useless endeavours to cramp and check, +had been turned towards this channel, how different would be the +results! It is true that it is easier to check than to guide,--to fetter +than to restrain; and that to attempt to remove evil by the +first-occurring remedy is a natural impulse. But a pause should by made, +lest in applying the remedy a worse evil be not engendered. Distorted +spines and "pale consumptions," the result of the one mistake, are +trifling evils, when compared with the moral evils resulting from the +other. For if, as is affirmed, no education can be good which does not +bear upon future duties, how can that be wise which keeps love and its +temptations, maternity and its responsibilities, out of view? Who would +believe that this love, so denounced, so guarded against, so carefully +banished from the minds of young women, is the one principle on which +their future happiness may be founded or wrecked? It is sure to seek +them, (most of them, at least,) like death in the fable, to find them +unprepared,--too often to leave them wretched. + +Meanwhile, these exaggerated precautions in the education of one sex +have been met by equally fatal negligence in the education of the other; +and while to girls have been denied the very thoughts of love,--even in +its noblest and purest form,--the most effeminate and corrupt +productions of the heathen writers have been unhesitatingly laid open to +boys; so that the two sexes, on whose respective notions of the passion +depends the ennobling or the degrading of their race, meet on these +terms:--the men know nothing of love but what they have imbibed from an +impure and polluted source; the women, nothing at all, or nothing but +what they have clandestinely gathered from sources almost equally +corrupt. The deterioration of any feeling must follow from such +injudicious training, more especially a feeling so susceptible as love +of assuming such differing aspects. + +Let no sober-minded person be startled at the deductions hence drawn, +that it is foolish to banish all thoughts of love from the minds of the +young. Since it is certain that girls will think, though they may not +read or speak, of love; and that no early care can preserve them from +being exposed, at a later period, to its temptations, might it not be +well to use here the directing, not the repressing power? Since women +will love, might it not be as well to teach them to love wisely? Where +is the wisdom of letting the combatant go unarmed into the field, in +order to spare him the prospect of a combat? Are not women made to love, +and to be loved: and does not their future destiny too often depend upon +this passion? And yet the conventual prejudice which banishes its name +subsists still. + +"Mothers forget, in presence of their children, all the dangers with +which this prejudice has surrounded themselves; the illusions which +arise from that ignorance, and the weakness which springs from those +illusions. To open the minds of the young to the nature of true love, is +to arm them against the frivolous passions which usurp its name, for in +exalting the faculties of the soul, we annihilate, in a great degree, +the delusions of the senses."[110] + +Examine the first choice of a young girl. Of all the qualities which +please her in a lover, there is, perhaps, not one which is valuable in a +husband. Is not this the most complete condemnation of all our systems +of education? From the fear of too much agitating the heart, we hide +from women all that is worthy of love, all the depth and dignity of that +passion when felt for a worthy object;--their eye is captivated, the +exterior pleases, the heart and mind are not known, and, after six +months union, they are surprised to find the beau ideal metamorphosed +into a fool or a coxcomb. This is the issue of what are ordinarily +called love-matches, because they are considered as such. "Cupid is +indeed often blamed for deeds in which he has no share." In the opinion +of the wise, the mischief is occasioned by the action of vivid +imaginations upon minds unprepared by previous reflection on the +subject; that is, by the entire banishment of all thoughts of love from +education. We should endeavour, then, to engrave on the soul a model of +virtue and excellence, and teach young women to regulate their +affections by an approximation to this model; the result would not be an +increased facility in giving the affections, but a greater difficulty in +so doing; for women, whose blindness and ignorance now make them the +victims of fancied perfections, would be able to make a clear-sighted +appreciation of all that is excellent, and have an invincible repugnance +to an union not founded upon that basis. Love, in the common acceptation +of the term, is a folly,--love, in its purity, its loftiness, its +unselfishness, is not only a consequence, but a proof of our moral +excellence,--the sensibility to moral beauty, the forgetfulness of self +in the admiration engendered by it, all prove its claim to be a high +moral influence; it is the triumph of the unselfish over the selfish +part of our nature.[111] + +What is meant by educating young women to love wisely is simply this, +that they be taught to distinguish true love from the false spirit which +usurps its name and garb; that they be taught to abstract from it the +worldliness, vanity, and folly, with which it has been mixed up. They +should be taught that it is not to be the amusement of an idle hour; the +indulgence of a capricious and greedy vanity; the ladder, by the +assistance of which they may climb a few steps higher in the grades of +society; in short, that except it owe its origin to the noble qualities +of heart and mind, it is nothing but a contemptible weakness, to be +pitied perhaps, but not to be indulged or admired. + +When the might influence of this passion is considered, the important +relations and weighty responsibilities to which it gives rise, we have +reason to be astonished at the levity with which the subject is treated +by the world at large, and the unconsciousness and indifference with +which those responsibilities are assumed. It is like the madman who +flings about firebrands and calls it sport. The remedy for this evil +must begin with the sex who have in their hands that powerful influence, +the liberty of rejection. Let them not complain that liberty of choice +is not theirs; it would only increase their responsibilities without +adding to their happiness or to their usefulness. The liberty which they +do possess is amply sufficient to insure for them the power of being +benefactors of mankind. As soon as the noble and elevated of our sex +shall refuse to unite on any but moral and intellectual grounds with the +other, so soon will a mighty regeneration begin to be effected: and this +end will, perhaps, be better served by the simple liberty of rejection +than by liberty of choice. Rejection is never inflicted without pain; it +is never received without humiliation, however unfounded, (for simply to +want the power of pleasing can be no disgrace;) but in the existence of +this conventional feeling we find the source of a deep influence. If +women would, as by one common league and covenant, agree to use this +powerful engine in defence of morals, what a change might they not +effect in the tone of society! Is it not a subject that ought to crimson +every woman's cheek with shame, that the want of moral qualifications is +generally the very last cause of rejection? If the worldly find the +wealth, and the intellectual the intelligence, which they seek in a +companion, there are few who will not shut their eyes in wilful and +convenient blindness to the want of such qualifications. It is a fatal +error which has bound up the cause of affection so intimately with +worldly considerations; and it is a growing evil. The increasing demands +of luxury in a highly civilized community operate most injuriously on +the cause of disinterested affections, and particularly so in the case +of women, who are generally precluded from maintaining or advancing +their place in society by any other schemes than matrimonial ones. I +might say something here on the cruelty of that conventional prejudice +which shackles the independence of women, by attaching the loss of +caste to almost all, nay, all, of the very few sources of pecuniary +emolument open to them. It requires great strength of principle to +disregard this prejudice; and while urged by duty to inveigh against +mercenary unions, I feel some compunction at the thoughts of the +numerous class who are in a manner forced by this prejudice into forming +them. But there are too many who have no such excuse, and to them the +remaining observations are addressed. The sacred nature of the conjugal +relation is entirely merged in the worldly aspect of it. That union +sacred, indissoluble, fraught with all that earth has to bestow of +happiness or misery, is entered upon much of the plan and principle of a +partnership account in mercantile affairs--each bringing his or her +quantum of worldly possessions--and often with even less inquiry as to +moral qualities than persons so situated would make; God's ordinances +are not to be so mocked, and such violations of his laws are severely +visited upon offenders against them. It would be laughable, if it were +not too melancholy, to see beings bound by the holiest ties, who ought +to be the sharers in the most sacred duties--united, perhaps, but in one +aim, and _that_ to secure from a world which cares not for them, a few +atoms more of external observance and attention: to this noble aim +sacrificing their own ease and comfort, and the future prospects of +those dependent on them. If half the sacrifice thus made to the +imperious demands of fashion, (and which is received with the +indifference it deserves,) were exerted in a good cause, what benefits +might it not produce? + +While women are thus content to sacrifice delicacy, affection, +principle, to the desire of worldly establishment or aggrandizement, how +is the regeneration of society to be expected from them? Formerly, too, +this spirit was confined to the old, hackneyed in the ways of the world, +and who, having worn out the trifling affections which they ever had, +would subject those of their children to the maxims of worldly prudence. +This we learn from fiction and the drama, where the worldly wisdom of +age is always represented as opposed to the generous but imprudent +passions of youth. But now, in these our better and more enlightened +days, those mercenary maxims which were odious even in age, are found in +the mouths of the young and the fair,--or at least, if not in their +mouths, in their actions. To sacrifice affection to interest is a +praiseworthy thing. It is fearful to hear the withering sneer with which +that folly, love, is spoken of by young and innocent lips--a sneer of +conscious superiority, too! It is a superiority not to be envied, and +which makes them objects of greater pity than those whom they affect to +despise. There is no subject so sacred that it has not a side open to +ridicule, and all the most pure and noble attributes of our nature may +be converted into subjects for a jest, by minds in which no lofty idea +can find an echo. All notions of unworldly and unselfish attachment are +branded with the name of romantic follies, unworthy of sensible persons; +and the idealities of love, like all other idealities, are fast +disappearing beneath the leaden mantle of expediency. + +The reform must begin here, as in all great moral questions, with the +arbiters of morals--those from whom morals take their tone--women. That +we have no right to expect it to begin with the other sex, may be +proved even by a vulgar aphorism. It is often triumphantly said, that "a +man may marry when he will--a woman must marry when she can." How keen a +satire upon both sexes is couched in this homely proverb! and how long +will they consent not only patiently to acquiesce in its truth, but to +prove it by their actions? That women may be able thus to reform +society, it is of importance that conscience be educated on this subject +as on every other; educated, too, before the tinsel of false romance +deceive the eye, or the frost of worldly-mindedness congeal the heart of +youth. It seems to me that this object would best be effected, not by +avoiding the subject of love, but by treating it, when it arises, with +seriousness and simplicity, as a feeling which the young may one day be +called upon to excite and to return, but which can have no existence in +the lofty in soul and pure in heart, except when called forth by +corresponding qualities in another. Such training as this would be a far +more effectual preventive of foolish passions, than cramping the +intellect in narrow ignorance, and excluding all knowledge of what life +is--in order to prepare people for entering upon it: a plan about as +wise in itself, and as successful as to results, as the bolts, bars, and +duennas of a Spanish play. Outward, substituted for inward, restraints +are sure to act upon man mentally, as actual bonds do physically; he +only wants to get free from them. Noble and virtuous principles in the +heart will not fail to direct the conduct aright, and it is to transfer +these things from matters of decorum or expediency, to matters of +conscience, that we should use our most earnest endeavours. Above all, +it is incumbent upon those who have the training of the young--of women +especially--so to imbue their souls with lofty and conscientious +principles of action, that they may be alike unwilling to deceive, or +liable to be deceived; that they may not be led as fools or as victims +into those responsible relations, for the consequences of which, (how +momentous!) to themselves, to others, and to society at large, they are +answerable to a God of infinite wisdom and justice. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[110] Aime Martin. + +[111] It is Coleridge who speaks of the "unselfishness of love," in one +of the volumes of his "Remains." + + + + +LITERARY CAPABILITIES OF WOMEN. + +BY LORD JEFFREY. + + +Women, we fear, cannot do every thing; nor every thing they attempt. But +what they can do, they do, for the most part, excellently--and much more +frequently with an absolute and perfect success, than the aspirants of +our rougher and ambitious sex. They cannot, we think, represent +naturally the fierce and sullen passions of men--nor their coarser +vices--nor even scenes of actual business or contention--nor the mixed +motives, and strong and faulty characters, by which affairs of moment +are usually conducted on the great theatre of the world. For much of +this they are disqualified by the delicacy of their training and habits, +and the still more disabling delicacy which pervades their conceptions +and feelings; and from much they are excluded by their necessary +inexperience of the realities they might wish to describe--by their +substantial and incurable ignorance of business--of the way in which +serious affairs are actually managed--and the true nature of the agents +and impulses that give movement and direction to the stronger currents +of ordinary life. Perhaps they are also incapable of long moral or +political investigations, where many complex and indeterminate elements +are to be taken into account, and a variety of opposite probabilities to +be weighed before coming to a conclusion. They are generally too +impatient to get at the ultimate results, to go well through with such +discussions; and either stop short at some imperfect view of the truth, +or turn aside to repose in the shade of some plausible error. This, +however, we are persuaded, arises entirely from their being seldom set +on such tedious tasks. Their proper and natural business is the +practical regulation of private life, in all its bearings, affections, +and concerns; and the questions with which they have to deal in that +most important department, though often of the utmost difficulty and +nicety, involve, for the most part, but few elements; and may generally +be better described as delicate than intricate;--requiring for their +solution rather a quick tact and fine perception, than a patient or +laborious examination. For the same reason, they rarely succeed in long +works, even on subjects the best suited to their genius; their natural +training rendering them equally averse to long doubt and long labour. + +For all other intellectual efforts, however, either of the understanding +or the fancy, and requiring a thorough knowledge either of man's +strength or his weakness, we apprehend them to be, in all respects, as +well qualified as their perceptions of grace, propriety, ridicule--their +power of detecting artifice, hypocrisy, and affectation--the force and +promptitude of their sympathy, and their capacity of noble and devoted +attachment, and of the efforts and sacrifices it may require, they are, +beyond all doubt, our superiors. + +Their business being, as we have said, with actual or social life, and +the colours it receives from the conduct and dispositions of +individuals, they unconsciously acquire, at a very early age, the +finest perception of character and manners, and are almost as soon +instinctively schooled in the deep and more dangerous learning of +feeling and emotion; while the very minuteness with which they make and +meditate on these interesting observations, and the finer shades and +variations of sentiment which are thus treasured and recorded, train +their whole faculties to a nicety and precision of operation, which +often discloses itself to advantage in their application to studies of a +different character. When women, accordingly, have turned their +minds--as they have done but too seldom--to the exposition or +arrangement of any branch of knowledge, they have commonly exhibited, we +think, a more beautiful accuracy, and a more uniform and complete +justness of thinking, than their less discriminating brethren. There is +a finish and completeness, in short, about every thing they put out of +their hands, which indicates not only an inherent taste for elegance and +neatness, but a habit of nice observation, and singular exactness of +judgement. + +It has been so little the fashion, at any time, to encourage women to +write for publication, that it is more difficult than it should be, to +prove these truths by examples. Yet there are enough, within the reach +of a very careless and superficial glance over the open field of +literature, to enable us to explain, at least, and illustrate, if not +entirely to verify, our assertions. No _man_, we will venture to say, +could have written the Letters of Madame de Sevigne, or the Novels of +Miss Austin, or the Hymns and Early Lessons of Mrs. Barbauld, or the +Conversations of Mrs. Marcet. Those performance, too, are not only +essentially and intensely feminine; but they are, in our judgment, +decidedly more perfect than any masculine productions with which they +can be brought into comparison. They accomplish more completely all the +ends at which they aim; and are worked out with a gracefulness and +felicity of execution which excludes all idea of failure, and entirely +satisfies the expectations they may have raised. We might easily have +added to these instances. There are many parts of Miss Edgeworth's +earlier stories, and of Miss Mitford's sketches and descriptions, and +not a little of Mrs. Opie's, that exhibit the same fine and penetrating +spirit of observations, the same softness and delicacy of hand, and +unerring truth of delineation, to which we have alluded as +characterizing the purer specimens of female art. The same +distinguishing traits of woman's spirit are visible through the grief +and piety of Lady Russel, and the gayety, the spite, and the +venturesomeness of Lady Mary Wortley. We have not as yet much female +poetry; but there is a truly feminine tenderness, purity, and elegance +in the Psyche of Mrs. Tighe, and in some of the smaller pieces of Lady +Craven. On some of the works of Madame de Stael--her Corinne +especially--there is a still deeper stamp of the genius of her sex. Her +pictures of its boundless devotedness--its depth and capacity of +suffering--its high aspirations--its painful irritability, and +inextinguishable thirst for emotion, are powerful specimens of that +morbid anatomy of the heart, which no hand but that of a woman's was +fine enough to have laid open, or skilful enough to have recommended to +our sympathy and love. There is the same exquisite and inimitable +delicacy, if not the same power, in many of the happier passages of +Madame de Souza and Madame Cottin--to say nothing of the more lively and +yet melancholy records of Madame de Stael, during her long penance in +the court of the Duchesse de Maine. + +We think the poetry of Mrs. Hemans a fine exemplification of Female +Poetry--and we think it has much of the perfection which we have +ventured to ascribe to the happier productions of female genius. + +It may not be the best imaginable poetry, and may not indicate the very +highest or most commanding genius; but it embraces a great deal of that +which gives the very best poetry its chief power of pleasing; and would +strike us, perhaps, as more impassioned and exalted, if it were not +regulated and harmonized by the most beautiful taste. It is singularly +sweet, elegant, and tender--touching, perhaps, and contemplative, rather +than vehement and overpowering; and not only finished throughout with an +exquisite delicacy, and even severity of execution, but infused with a +purity and loftiness of feeling, and a certain sober and humble tone of +indulgence and piety, which must satisfy all judgments, and allay the +apprehensions of those who are most afraid of the passionate +exaggerations of poetry. The diction is always beautiful, harmonious, +and free--and the themes, though of great variety, uniformly treated +with a grace, originality, and judgment, which mark the same master +hand. These themes she has occasionally borrowed, with the peculiar +imagery that belongs to them, from the legends of different nations, and +the most opposite states of society; and has contrived to retain much +of what is interesting and peculiar in each of them, without adopting, +along with it, any of the revolting or extravagant excesses which may +characterize the taste or manners of the people or the age from which it +has been derived. She has transfused into her German or Scandinavian +legends the imaginative and daring tone of the originals, without the +mystical exaggerations of the one, or the painful fierceness and +coarseness of the other--she has preserved the clearness and elegance of +the French, without their coldness or affectation--and the tenderness +and simplicity of the early Italians, without their diffuseness or +languor. Though occasionally expatiating, somewhat fondly and at large, +among the sweets of her own planting, there is, on the whole, a great +condensation and brevity in most of her pieces, and, almost without +exception, a most judicious and vigorous conclusion. The great merit, +however, of her poetry, is undoubtedly in its tenderness and its +beautiful imagery. The first requires no explanation; but we must be +allowed to add a word as to the peculiar charm and character of the +latter. + +It has always been our opinion, that the very essence of poetry--apart +from the pathos, the wit, or the brilliant description which may be +imbodied in it, but may exist equally in prose--consists in the fine +perception and vivid expression of the subtle and mysterious analogy +which exists between the physical and the moral world--which makes +outward things and qualities the natural types and emblems of inward +gifts and emotions, or leads us to ascribe life and sentiment to every +thing that interests us in the aspects of external nature. The feeling +of this analogy, obscure and inexplicable as the theory of it may be, is +so deep and universal in our nature, that it has stamped itself on the +ordinary language of men of every kindred and speech: that to such an +extent, that one-half of the epithets by which we familiarly designate +moral and physical qualities, are in reality so many metaphors, borrowed +reciprocally, upon this analogy, from those opposite forms of +expression. The very familiarity, however, of the expression, in these +instances, takes away its political effect--and indeed, in substance, +its metaphorical character. The original sense of the word is entirely +forgotten in the derivative one to which it has succeeded; and it +requires some etymological recollection to convince us that it was +originally nothing else than a typical or analogical illustration. Thus +we talk of a sparkling wit, and a furious blast--a weighty argument, and +a gentle stream--without being at all aware that we are speaking in the +language of poetry, and transferring qualities from one extremity of the +sphere of being to another. In these cases, accordingly, the metaphor, +by ceasing to be felt, in reality ceases to exist, and the analogy being +no longer intimated, of course can produce no effect. But whenever it is +intimated, it does produce an effect; and that effect we think is +poetry. + +It has substantially two functions, and operates in two directions. In +the _first_ place, when material qualities are ascribed to mind, it +strikes vividly out, and brings at once before us, the conception of an +inward feeling or emotion, which it might otherwise have been difficult +to convey, by the presentiment of some bodily form or quality, which is +instantly felt to be its true representative, and enables us to fix and +comprehend it with a force and clearness not otherwise attainable; and, +in the _second_ place, it vivifies dead and inanimate matter with the +attributes of living and sentient mind, and fills the whole visible +universe around us with objects of interest and sympathy, by tinting +them with the hues of life, and associating them with our own passions +and affections. This magical operation the poet too performs, for the +most part, in one of two ways--either by the direct agency of similies +and metaphors, more or less condensed or developed, or by the mere +graceful presentment of such visible objects on the scene of his +passionate dialogues or adventures, as partake of the character of the +emotion he wishes to excite, and thus form an appropriate accompaniment +or preparation for its direct indulgence or display. The former of those +methods has perhaps been most frequently employed, and certainly has +most attracted attention. But the latter, though less obtrusive, and +perhaps less frequently resorted to of set purpose, is, we are inclined +to think, the most natural and efficacious of the two; and it is often +adopted, we believe unconsciously, by poets of the highest order;--the +predominant emotion of their minds overflowing spontaneously on all the +objects which present themselves to their fancy, and calling out from +them, and colouring with their own hues, those that are naturally +emblematic of its character, and in accordance with its general +expression. It would be easy to show how habitually this is done, by +Shakspeare and Milton especially, and how much many of their finest +passages are indebted, both for force and richness of effect, to this +general and diffusive harmony of the external character of their scenes +with the passions of their living agents--this harmonizing and +appropriate glow with which they kindle the whole surrounding +atmosphere, and bring all that strikes the sense into unison with all +the touches the heart. + +But it is more to our present purpose to say, that we think the fair +writer before us is eminently a mistress of this poetical secret; and, +in truth, it was solely for the purpose of illustrating this great charm +and excellence in her imagery, that we have ventured upon this little +dissertation. Almost all her poems are rich with fine descriptions, and +studded over with images of visible beauty. But these are never idle +ornaments; all her pomps have a meaning; and her flowers and her gems +are arranged, as they are said to be among Eastern lovers, so as to +speak the language of truth and of passion. This is peculiarly +remarkable in some little pieces, which seem at first sight to be purely +descriptive--but are soon found to tell upon the heart, with a deep +moral and pathetic impression. But it is, in truth, nearly as +conspicuous in the greater part of her productions; where we scarcely +meet with any striking sentiment that is not ushered in by some such +symphony of external nature--and scarcely a lovely picture that does not +serve as an appropriate foreground to some deep or lofty emotion. We may +illustrate this proposition, we think, by the following exquisite lines, +on a palm-tree in an English garden. + + It waved not through an Eastern sky, + Beside a fount of Araby + It was not fanned by southern breeze + In some green isle of Indian seas, + Nor did its graceful shadows sleep + O'er stream of Africa, lone and deep. + + But far the exiled Palm-tree grew + Midst foliage of no kindred hue; + Through the laburnum's dropping gold + Rose the light shaft of orient mould, + And Europe's violets, faintly sweet, + Purpled the moss-beds at his feet. + + There came an eve of festal hours-- + Rich music filled that garden's bowers: + Lamps, that from flowering branches hung, + On sparks of dew soft colours flung, + And bright forms glanced--a fairy show-- + Under the blossoms, to and fro. + + But one, a lone one, midst the throng, + Seemed reckless all of dance or song: + He was a youth of dusky mien, + Whereon the Indian sun had been-- + Of crested brow, and long black hair-- + A stranger, like the Palm-tree, there! + + And slowly, sadly moved his plumes, + Glittering athwart the leafy glooms: + He passed the pale green olives by, + Nor won the chestnut-flowers his eye; + But, when to that sole Palm he came, + Then shot a rapture through his frame! + + To him, to him its rustling spoke: + The silence of his soul it broke! + It whispered of his own bright isle, + That lit the ocean with a smile; + Ay, to his ear that native tone + Had something of the sea-wave's moan! + + His mother's cabin home, that lay + Where feathery cocoas fringed the bay; + The dashing of his brethren's oar; + The conch-note heard along the shore;-- + All through his wakening bosom swept; + He clasped his country's Tree--and wept! + + Oh! scorn him not! The strength whereby + The patriot girds himself to die, + The unconquerable power, which fills + The freeman battling on his hills-- + These have one fountain deep and clear-- + The same whence gushed that child-like tear! + + + + +ENNUI, AND THE DESIRE TO BE FASHIONABLE. + +BY LORD JEFFREY. + + +There are two great sources of unhappiness to those whom fortune and +nature seem to have placed above the reach of ordinary miseries. The one +is _ennui_--that stagnation of life and feeling which results from the +absence of all motives to exertion; and by which the justice of +Providence has so fully compensated the partiality of fortune, that it +may be fairly doubted whether, upon the whole, the race of beggars is +not happier than the race of lords; and whether those vulgar wants that +are sometimes so importunate, are not, in this world, the chief +ministers of enjoyment. This is a plague that infects all indolent +persons who can live on in the rank in which they were born, without the +necessity of working; but, in a free country, it rarely occurs in any +great degree of virulence, except among those who are already at the +summit of human felicity. Below this, there is room for ambition, and +envy, and emulation, and all the feverish movements of aspiring vanity +and unresting selfishness, which act as prophylactics against this more +dark and deadly distemper. It is the canker which corrodes the +full-blown flower of human felicity--the pestilence which smites at the +bright hour of noon. + +The other curse of the happy, has a range more wide and indiscriminate. +It, too, tortures only the comparatively rich and fortunate; but is most +active among the least distinguished; and abates in malignity as we +ascend to the lofty regions of pure _ennui_. This is the desire of being +fashionable;--the restless and insatiable passion to pass for creatures +a little more distinguished than we really are--with the mortification +of frequent failure, and the humiliating consciousness of being +perpetually exposed to it. Among those who are secure of "meat, clothes, +and fire," and are thus above the chief physical evils of existence, we +do believe that this is a more prolific source of unhappiness, than +guilt, disease, or wounded affection; and that more positive misery is +created, and more true enjoyment excluded, by the eternal fretting and +straining of this pitiful ambition, than by all the ravages of passion, +the desolations of war, or the accidents or mortality. This may appear a +strong statement; but we make it deliberately; and are deeply convinced +of its truth. The wretchedness which it produces may not be so intense; +but it is of much longer duration, and spreads over a far wider circle. +It is quite dreadful, indeed, to think what a sweep of this pest has +taken among the comforts or our prosperous population. To be though +fashionable--that is, to be thought more opulent and tasteful, and on a +footing of intimacy with a greater number of distinguished persons than +they really are, is the great and laborious pursuit of four families out +of five, the members of which are exempted from the necessity of daily +industry. In this pursuit, their time, spirits, and talents are wasted; +their tempers soured; their affections palsied; and their natural +manners and dispositions altogether sophisticated and lost. + +These are the great twin scourges of the prosperous: But there are +other maladies, of no slight malignity, to which they are peculiarly +liable. One of these, arising mainly from want of more worthy +occupation, is that perpetual use of stratagem and contrivance--that +little, artful diplomacy of private life, by which the simplest and most +natural transactions are rendered complicated and difficult, and the +common business of existence made to depend on the success of plots and +counterplots. By the incessant practice of this petty policy, a habit of +duplicity and anxiety is infallibly generated, which is equally fatal to +integrity and enjoyment. We gradually come to look on others with the +distrust which we are conscious of deserving; and are insensibly formed +to sentiments of the most unamiable selfishness and suspicion. It is +needless to say, that all these elaborate artifices are worse than +useless to the person who employs them; and that the ingenious plotter +is almost always baffled and exposed by the downright honesty of some +undesigning competitor. Miss Edgeworth, in her tale of "Manoeuvring," +has given a very complete and most entertaining representation of "the +by-paths and indirect crooked ways," by which these artful and +inefficient people generally make their way to disappointment. In the +tale, entitled "Madame de Fleury," she has given some useful examples of +the ways in which the rich may most effectually do good to the poor--an +operation which, we really believe, fails more frequently from want of +skill than of inclination: And, in "The Dun," she has drawn a touching +and most impressive picture of the wretchedness which the poor so +frequently suffer, from the unfeeling thoughtlessness which withholds +from them the scanty earnings of their labour. + + + + +THE INFLUENCE OF PERSONAL CHARACTER. + + +The immense importance of personal character is a subject which does not +enough draw the attention of individuals or society, yet it is to the +power of gaining influence, what the root is to the tree,--the soul to +the body. It is doubtful if any of us can be acquainted with the +infinitely minute ramifications into which this all-pervading influence +extends. A slight survey of society will enable us, in some degree, to +judge of it. There are individuals who, by the sole force of personal +character, seem to render wise, better, more elevated, all with whom +they come in contact. Others, again, stand in the midst of the society +in which they are placed, a moral upas, poisoning the atmosphere around +them, so that no virtue can come within their shadow and live. Family +virtues descend with family estates, and hereditary vices are hardly +compensated for by hereditary possessions. The characters of the junior +members of a family are often only reflections or modifications of those +of the elder. Families retain for generations peculiarities of temper +and character. The Catos were all stern, upright, inflexible; the Guises +proud and haughty at the heart, though irresistibly popular and +fascinating in manner. We _see_ the influence which men, exalted and +powerful, exert on their age, and on society; it is difficult to +believe that a similar influence is exerted by every individual man and +woman, however limited his or her sphere of life: the force of the +torrent is easily calculated,--that of the under-current is hidden, yet +its existence and power are no less actual. + +This truth opens to the conscientious a field of duty not enough +cultivated. The improvement of individual character has been too much +regarded as a matter of personal concern, a duty to ourselves,--to our +immediate relations perhaps, but to no others,--a matter affecting out +individual happiness here, and our individual safety hereafter! This is +taking a very narrow view of a very extended subject. The work of +individual self-formation is a duty, not only to ourselves and our +families, but to our fellow-creatures at large; it is the best and most +certainly beneficial exercise of philanthropy. It is not, it is true, +very flattering to self-love to be told, that instead of mending the +world, (the mania of the present day,) the best service which we can do +that world is to mend ourselves. "If each mends one, all will be +mended," says the old English adage, with the deep wisdom of those +popular sayings,--a wisdom amply corroborated by the unsettled +principles and defective practice of too many of the self-elected +reformers of society. + +It is peculiarly desirable, at this particular juncture of time, that +this subject be insisted upon. Man, naturally a social and gregarious +animal, becomes every day more so. The vast undertakings, the mighty +movements of the present day, which can only be carried into operation +by the combined energy of many wills, tend to destroy individuality of +thought and action, and the consciousness of individual responsibility. +The dramatist complains of this fact, as it affects his art, the +representation of surface,--the moralist has greater cause to complain +of it, as affecting the foundation of character. If it be true that we +must not follow a multitude to do evil, it is equally true that we must +not follow a multitude even to do good, if it involve the neglect of our +own peculiar duties. Our first, most peremptory, and most urgent duty, +is, the improvement of our own character; so that public beneficence may +not be neutralized by private selfishness,--public energy by private +remissness,--that the applause of the world may not be bought at the +expense of private and domestic wretchedness. So frequent and so +lamentable are the proofs of human weakness in this respect, that we are +sometimes tempted to believe the opinion of the cold and sneering +skeptic,[112] that the two ruling passions of men are the love of +pleasure and the love of action; and that all their seemingly good deeds +proceed from these principles. It is not so: it is a libel on human +nature: men,--even erring men,--have better motives, and higher aims: +but they mistake the nature of their duties and invert their order; what +should be "first is last, and the last first." + +It may be wisely urged, that if men waited for the perfecting of +individual character, before they joined their fellow men in those great +undertakings which are to insure benefit to the race, nothing would ever +be accomplished, and society would languish in a state of passive +inertness. It is far from necessarily following that attention to +private should interfere with attention to public interests; and public +interests are more advanced or retarded than it is possible to believe, +by the personal characters of their agitators. It is difficult to get +the worldly and the selfish to see this, but it is, nevertheless, true; +and there is no wisdom, political or moral, in the phrase, "Measures, +not men." Measures, wise and just in themselves, are received with +distrust and suspicion, because the characters of their originators are +liable to distrust and suspicion. Lord Chesterfield, the great master of +deception, was forced to pay truth the compliment of declaring, that +"the most successful diplomatist would be a man perfectly honest and +upright, who should, at all times, and in all circumstances, say the +truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth." So the rulers of +nations ought to be perfectly honest and upright; not because such men +would be free from error, but because the faith of the governed in their +honour would obviate the consequences of many errors. It is the want of +unselfishness and truth on the part of rulers, and the consequent want +of faith in the ruled, that has reduced the politics of nations to a +complicated science. If we could once get men to act out the gospel +precept, "Do unto others as ye would that they should do unto you," +nations might burn their codes, and lawyers their statute-books. These +are the hundred cords with which the Lilliputians bound Gulliver, and he +escaped. If they had possessed it, or could have managed it, one cable +would have been worth them all. Much has been said,--much written,--on +the art of governing. Why has the simple truth been overlooked or +suppressed, that the moral character of the rulers of nations is of +first-rate importance? Except the Lord build the city, vain is the +labour of them who build it; except religion and virtue guide the state, +vain are the talents and the acts of legislators. Is it possible that +motives of paltry personal advancement, or of pecuniary gain, can induce +men to assume responsibilities affecting the welfare of millions? The +voice of those millions replies in the affirmative, and their +reproachful glances turn on _you_, mothers of our legislators! It might +have been yours, to stamp on their infant minds the dispassionate and +unselfish devotedness which belongs to your own sex,--the scorn of +meanness; the contempt of self, in comparison with others, peculiar to +woman. How have you fulfilled your lofty mission? Charity itself can +only allow us to suppose that its existence is as unknown as its spirit. + +The important fact, then, of the great influence of personal character, +can never be too much impressed upon all; but it is peculiarly needful +that women be impressed with it, because their personal character must +necessarily influence that of their children, and be the source of their +personal character. For, if the active performance of the duties of a +citizen interfere, and it undoubtedly does so, with the duty of +self-education, of what importance is it that men enter upon them with +such a personal character as may insure us confidence while it secures +us from temptation? The formation of such a character depends mainly on +mothers, and especially on their personal character and principles. The +character of the mother influences the children more than that of the +father, because it is more exposed to their daily, hourly observation. +It is difficult for these young, though acute observers, to comprehend +the principles which regulate their father's political opinions; his +vote in the senate; his conduct in political or commercial relations; +but they can see,--yes! and they can estimate and imitate, the moral +principles of the mother in her management of themselves, her treatment +of her domestics, and the thousand petty details of the interior. These +principles, whether lax or strict, low or high in moral tone, become, by +an insensible and imperceptible adoption, their principles, and are +carried out by them into the duties and avocations of future life. It +would be startling to many to know with what intelligence and accuracy +motives are penetrated, inconsistencies remarked, and treasured up with +retributive or imitative projects, as may best suit the purpose of the +moment. Nothing but a more extensive knowledge of children than is +usually possessed on entering life, can awaken parents to the perception +of this truth; and awakened perception may, perhaps, be only awakened +misery. How important is it, then, that every thing in the education of +women should tend to enlighten conscience, that she may enter on her +arduous task with principles requiring only watchfulness, not +reformation; and such a personal character as may exercise none by +healthy influences on her children! + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[112] Gibbon. + + + + +ON THE MEANS OF SECURING PERSONAL INFLUENCE. + + +The qualities which seem more especially needful in a character which is +to influence others, are, consistency, simplicity, and benevolence, or +love. + +By consistency of character, I mean consistency of action with +principle, of manner with thought, of _self_ with _self_. The want of +this quality is a failing with which our sex is often charged, and +justly; but are we to blame? Our hearts are warm, our nerves irritable, +and we have seen how little there is, in existing systems of female +education, calculated to give wide, lofty, self-devoted principles of +action. Without such principles, there can be no consistency of conduct; +and without consistency of conduct, there can be no available moral +influence. + +The peculiar evil arising from want of consistency, is the want of trust +or faith which it engenders. This is felt in the common intercourse with +the world. In our relations with inconsistent persons, we are like +mariners at sea without a compass. On the other hand, intercourse with +consistent persons gives to the mind a sort of tranquillity, peculiarly +favourable to happiness and to virtue. It is like the effect produced by +the perception of an immutable truth, which, from the very force of +contrast, is peculiarly grateful to the inhabitants of so changeable a +world as this. It is moral repose. + +This sort of moral repose is most peculiarly advantageous to children, +because it allows ample scope for the development of their mental and +moral faculties; banishing from their minds all that chaotic +bewilderment into which dependence on inconsistent persons throws them. +It is advantageous to them in another, and more important way,--it +prepares them for a belief in virtue; a trust in others, which it is +easy to train up into a veneration for the source of all virtue; a trust +in the origin of all truth. There can be no clearness of moral +perception in the governed, where there is no manifestation of a moral +rule of right in the governor. In speaking of moral perception, I do not +mean to say that children have, properly speaking, a moral perception of +inconsistency; but it affects their comfort and well-being, +nevertheless. There is, in the nature of man, as great a perception of +moral, as of physical order and proportion; and the absence of the moral +produces pain and disgust to the soul, as the absence of the physical +does to the senses. This state of pain and disgust is felt, though it +can never be expressed, by children, who are under the management of +inconsistent persons,--that is, persons whose conduct is guided solely +by feeling, (good or bad,) by caprice, or impulse; and how injurious it +is to them, we may easily conceive. If, however, their present comfort +only were endangered by it, the evil would be of comparatively small +magnitude; but it affects their character for life. They cease to trust, +and they cease to venerate; now, trust is the root of faith, and +veneration of piety:--and when the root is destroyed, how can the plant +flourish? Perhaps we may remark that the effect here produced upon +children is the same as that which long intercourse with the world +produces in men: only that the effect differs in proportion to their +differing intellectual faculties. The child is annoyed, and knows not +the cause of annoyance; the man is annoyed, and endeavours to lose the +sense of discomfort in a universal skepticism as to human virtue, and a +resolving of all actions into one principle, self-interest. He thus +seeks to create a principle possessing the stability which he desires, +but seeks in vain to find; for, be it remembered, our love of moral +stability is precisely as great as our love of physical change;--another +of the mysteries of our being. The effects on the man are the same as on +the child,--he ceases to believe, and he ceases to venerate; and the end +is the most degrading of all conditions,--the abnegation of all abstract +virtue, generosity, or love. Now, into this state children are brought +by the inconsistency of parents,--that is, these young and innocent +creatures are placed in a condition, moral and intellectual, which we +consider an evil, even when produced by long contact with a selfish and +unkind world. And thus they enter upon life, prepared for vice in all +its forms,--and skepticism, in all its heart-withering tendencies. How +can parents bear this responsibility? There is something so touching in +the simple faith of childhood,--its utter dependence,--its willingness +to believe in the perfection of those to whom it looks for +protection--that to betray that faith, to shake that dependence, seems +almost akin to irreligion. + +The value of principle, then, in itself so precious, is enhanced tenfold +by constancy in its manifestations, and therefore consistency, as a +source of influence, can never be too much insisted upon. + +Consistency of principle is brought to the test in every daily, hourly +occurrence of woman's life, and if she have been brought up without an +abiding sense of duty and responsibility, she is of all beings most +unfortunate; influences the most potent are committed to her care, and +from her they issue like the simoom of the desert, breathing moral +blight and death. I have endeavoured, in some degree, to enforce the +power of indirect influences on the minds of _children_: they are very +powerful in the other relations of life; in the conjugal, the truth is +too well known and attested by tale and song to need additional +corroboration here--and this book is principally, though not wholly, +dedicated to woman in her maternal character. + +The extreme importance of the manifestation of consistency in mothers +may be argued from this fact, that it is of infinite importance to +children to see the daily operation of an immutable and consistent rule +of right, in matters sufficiently small to come within the sphere of +childish observation, and, therefore, if called upon to give a +definition of the peculiar mission of woman, and the peculiar source of +her influence, I should say it is the application of large principles to +small duties,--the agency of comprehensive intelligence on details. That +largeness of mental vision, which, while it can comprehend the vast, is +too keen to overlook the little, is especially to be cultivated by +women. It is a great mistake to suppose the two qualities are +incompatible; and the supposition that they are so, has done much +mischief; the error arises not from the extent, but from the narrowness +of our capacity, _To aspire_ is our privilege, and a privilege which we +are by no means slack to use, without considering that the operations of +infinitude are even more incomprehensible in their minuteness than in +their magnitude, and that, therefore, to be always looking from the +minute towards the vast, is only a proof of the finite nature of our +present capacity. The loftiest intellect may, without abasement, be +employed on the minutest domestic detail, and in all probability will +perform it better than an inferior one: it is the motive and end of an +action which makes it either dignified or mean. In the homely words of +old Herbert + + All may of thee partake: + Nothing can be so mean, + Which, with this tincture, _for thy sake_ + Will not grow bright and clean. + +It is then in the minutiae of daily life and conduct that this +consistency has its most beneficial operation, and it must derive its +power from the personal character for this reason, that no virtues but +indigenous ones are capable of the sort of moral transfusion here +mentioned. It is rare to see a parent, eminently distinguished by any +moral virtue, unsuccessful in the transmitting that virtue to children, +simply because, being an integral part of character, it is consistent in +its mode of operation; so virtues originating in effort, or practised +for the sake of example, are seldom transferable; the same consistency +cannot be expected in the exercise of them, and this may explain the +small success of pattern mothers, _par excellence_ so called, and whose +good intentions and sacrifices ought not to be objects of derision; the +very appearance of effort mars the effect of all effort. + +The world is sometimes surprised to see extraordinary proofs of moral +influence exercised by persons who never planned, never aimed, to obtain +such influence,--nay, whose conduct is never regulated by any fixed aim +for its attainment; the fact is, that those characters are composed of +truth and love;--truth, which prevents the assumption even of virtues +which are not natural, thereby adding to the influence of such as are; +love, the most contagious of all moral contagions, the regenerating +principle of the world! + +The virtue which mainly contributes to the support of +consistency--without which, in fact, consistency cannot exist--is +simplicity: consistency of conduct can never be maintained by characters +in any degree double or sophisticated, for it is not of simplicity as +opposed to craft, but of simplicity as opposed to sophistication, that I +would here speak, and rather as the Christian virtue, single-mindedness; +the desire to _be_, opposed to the wish to _appear_. We have seen how +rarely influence can be gained where no faith can be yielded; now an +unsimple character can never inspire faith or trust. People do not +always analyze mental phenomena sufficiently to know the reason of this +fact, but no one will dispute the fact itself. It is true there are +persons who have the power of conciliating confidence of which they are +unworthy, but it is only because (like Castruccio Castrucciani) they are +such exquisite dissemblers, that their affection of simplicity has +temporarily the effect of simplicity itself. This power of successful +assumption is, fortunately, confined to very few, and the pretenders to +unreal virtues and the utterer of assumed sentiments are only ill-paid +labourers, working hard to reap no harvest-fruits. + +An objection slightly advanced before, may here naturally occur again, +and may be answered more fully, viz. the opposition of the conventional +forms of society to entire simplicity of thought and action, and +consequently to influence. The influence which conventionalism has over +principle is to be utterly disclaimed, but its having an injurious +influence over manner is far more easily obviated; so easily, indeed, +that it may be doubted whether there be not more simplicity in +compliance than in opposition. Originality, either of thought or +behaviour, is most uncommon, and only found in minds above, or in minds +below, the ordinary standard; neither is this peculiar feature of +society in itself a blame-worthy one: it arises out of the constitution +of man, naturally imitative, gregarious, and desirous of approbation. +Nothing would be gained by the abolition of these forms, for they are +representatives of a good spirit; the spirit, it is true, is too often +not there, but it would be better to call it back than to abolish the +form. We have an opportunity of judging how far it would be convenient +or agreeable to do so, in the conduct of some _soi-disant_ contemners of +forms; we perceive that such contempt is equally the offspring of +selfishness with slavish regard: it is only the exchange of the +selfishness of vanity for the selfishness of indolence and pride, and +the world is the loser by the exchange. Hypocrisy has been said to be +the homage which vice pays to virtue. Conventional forms may, with +justice, be called the homage which selfishness pays to benevolence. + +How then is simplicity of character to be preserved without violating +conventionalism, to which it seems so much at variance, and yet, which +it ought not to oppose? By the cultivation of that spirit of which +conventional forms are only the symbol, by training children in the +early exercise of the kind the benevolent affections, and by exacting in +the domestic circle all those observances which are the signs of +good-will in society, so that they may be the emanations of a benevolent +heart, instead of the gloss of artificial politeness. Conventionalism +will never injure the simplicity of such characters as these, nay, it +may greatly add to their influence, and secure for their virtues and +talents the reception that they deserve; it is a part of benevolence to +cultivate the graces that may persuade or allure men to the imitation of +what is right. "Stand off, I am holier than thou," is not more foreign +to true piety, than "Stand off, I am wiser than thou," is to true +benevolence, as relates to those "things indifferent," in which we are +told that we may be all things to all men. + +The cultivation of domestic politeness is a subject not nearly enough +attended to, yet it is the sign, and ought to be the manifestation, of +many beautiful virtues--affection, self-denial, elegance, are all called +into play by it; and it has a potent recommendation in its being an +excellent preservative against affectation, which generally arises from +a great desire to please, joined to an ignorance of the means of +pleasing successfully. It is to be hoped that these remarks will not be +deemed trifling or irrelevant in a chapter on the means of securing +personal influence. Powers of pleasing are a very great source of that +influence, and there is no telling how great might be the benefit to +society, if all on whom they are bestowed (and how lavishly they are +bestowed on woman!) would be persuaded to use them, not as a means of +selfish gratification, but as an engine for the promotion of good.[113] +Such powers are as sacred a trust from the Creator as any other gift, +and ought to be equally used for his glory and the advancement of moral +good. Virtue, indeed, in itself is venerable, but it must be attractive +in order to be influential. And how attractive it might be, if the +powers of pleasing, which can cover and even recommend the deformity of +vice, were conscientiously excited in its behalf! This is the peculiar +province of women, and they are peculiarly fitted for it by Nature. +Their personal loveliness, their versatile powers, and lively fancy, +qualify them in an eminent degree to adorn, and by adorning to +recommend, virtue and religion. + + Cosi all' egro fanciul porgiamo aspersi + Di soare licor gli orli del vaso. + + +FOOTNOTES: + +[113] It was a beautiful idea in the mythology of the ancients, which +identified the Graces with the Charities of social life. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE YOUNG LADY'S MENTOR*** + + +******* This file should be named 15490.txt or 15490.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/5/4/9/15490 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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