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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/14743-0.txt b/14743-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..5933f46 --- /dev/null +++ b/14743-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,648 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14743 *** + +THE FUN OF GETTING THIN + +How To Be Happy and Reduce the Waist Line + +by + +SAMUEL G. BLYTHE + +Author of "Cutting It Out" + +Chicago +Forbes & Company + +1912 + + + + + + + +CONTENTS + + CHAPTER + + I. Fat + + II. The So-Called Cures + + III. Facing the Tissue + + + + +THE FUN OF GETTING THIN + + +CHAPTER I + +FAT + +A fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes--one on herself and +the other on her husband. Half the comedy in the world is predicated +on the paunch. At that, the human race is divided into but two +classes--fat people who are trying to get thin and thin people who are +trying to get fat. + +Fat, the doctors say, is fatal. I move to amend by striking out the +last two letters of the indictment. Fat is fat. It isn't any more +fatal to be reasonably fat than to be reasonably thin, but it's a +darned sight more uncomfortable. So far as being unreasonably thin or +unreasonably fat is concerned, I suppose the thin person has the long +end of it. I never was thin, so I don't know. However, I have been +fat--notice that "have been"? And if there is any phase of human +enjoyment, any part of life, any occupation, avocation, divertisement, +pleasure or pain where the fat man has the better of it in any regard, +I failed to discover it in the twenty years during which I looked like +the rear end of a hack and had all the bodily characteristics of a bale +of hay. + +When you come to examine into the actuating motives for any line of +human endeavor you will find that vanity figures about ninety per cent, +directly or indirectly, in the assay. The personal equation is the +ruling equation. Women want to be thinner because they will look +better--and so do men. Likewise, women want to be plumper because they +will look better--and so do men. This holds up to forty years. After +that it doesn't make much difference whether either men or women look +any better than they have been looking, so far as the great end and aim +of all life is concerned. Consequently fat men and fat women after +forty want to be thinner for reasons of health and comfort, or quit and +resign themselves to their further years of obesity. + +Now I am over forty. Hence my experiments in reduction may be taken at +this time as grounded on a desire for comfort--not that I did not make +many campaigns against my fat before I was forty. I fought it now and +then, but always retreated before I won a victory. This time, instead +of skirmishing valiantly for a space and then being ignominiously and +fatly routed by the powerful forces of food and drink, I hung stolidly +to the line of my original attack, harassed the enemy by a constant and +deadly fire--and one morning discovered I had the foe on the run. + +It always makes me laugh to hear people talk about losing +flesh--unless, of course, the decrease in weight is due to illness. No +healthy person, predisposed to fat, ever lost any flesh. If that +person gets rid of any weight, or girth, or fat, it isn't lost--it is +fought off, beaten off. The victim struggles with it, goes to the mat +with it, and does not debonairly drop it. He eliminates it with stern +effort and much travail of the spirit. It is a job of work, a grueling +combat to the finish, a task that appalls and usually repels. + +The theory of taking off fat is the simplest theory in the world. It +is announced, in four words: Stop eating and drinking. The practice of +fat reduction is the most difficult thing in the world. Its +difficulties are comprehended in two words: You cannot. The flesh is +willing, but the spirit is weak. The success of the undertaking lies +in the triumph of the will over the appetite. There's a lovely line of +cant for you! Triumph of the will over the appetite. It sounds like +the preaching of a professional food faddist, who tells the people they +eat too much and then slips away and wolfs down four pounds of +beefsteak at a sitting. However, I suppose it is necessary to say this +once in a dissertation like this--and it is said. + +In writing about this successful experiment of mine in reducing weight +I have no theories to advance except one, and no instructions to give. +I don't know whether my method would take an ounce off any other person +in the world, and I don't care. I only know it took more than fifty +pounds off me. I am not advancing any argument, medicinal or +otherwise, for my plan. I never talked to a doctor about it, and never +shall. If there are fat men and fat women who are fat for the same +reasons I was fat I suppose they can get thin the way I got thin. If +they are fat for other reasons I suppose they cannot. I don't know +about either proposition. + +I have great respect for doctors--so much respect, in fact, that I keep +diligently away from them. I know the preliminaries of their game and +can take a dose of medicine myself as skillfully as they can administer +it. Also, I know when I have a fever, and have a working knowledge of +how my heart should beat and my other bodily functions be performed. I +have frequently found that a prescription, unintelligibly written but +looking very wise, is highly efficacious when folded carefully and put +in the pocketbook instead of being deposited with a druggist. I +suppose that comes from a sort of hereditary faith in amulets. No +doubt the method would be even more efficacious if the prescription +were tied on a string and hung around the neck. I shall try that some +time when my wife lugs in a doctor on me. + +Still, doctors are interesting as a class. After you get beyond the +let-me-feel-your-pulse-and-see-your-tongue preliminaries they are +versatile and ingenious. Almost always, after you tell them what is +the matter with you, they will know--not every time, but frequently. +Also, they will take any sort of a chance with you in the interest of +science. However, they generally send out for a specialist when they +are ill themselves. When you come to think of it that is but natural. +Almost any man, whether professional or not, will take a chance with +somebody else that he wouldn't quite go through with on himself. +Besides, doctors treat comparative strangers for the most part, and the +interests of science are to be conserved. + +Almost any doctor can tell you how to get thin. To be sure, no doctor +will tell you to do the same things any other doctor prescribes, but it +all simmers down to the same thing: Cut out the starchy foods and +sweets, and take exercise. Also: Don't drink alcohol. The variations +that can be played on this simple theme by a skillful doctor are +endless. When a real specialist in fat reduction gets hold of you--a +real, earnest reducer--he can contrive a diet that would make a living +skeleton thin--and likewise put him in his little grave. I have had +diets handed to me that would starve a humming-bird, and diets that +would put flesh on a bronze statue; and all to the same end--reduction. +Science has been monkeying with nourishment for the past ten or fifteen +years to the exclusion of many other branches of research; and about +all that has happened to the nourishment is the large elimination of +nutriment from it. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +THE SO-CALLED CURES + +Broadly speaking, the methods of fat reduction most in vogue are +divided into four classes--mechanical, physical, medicinal and dietary. +The first two are not worth considering by a man who has anything else +to do. I do not doubt that a man who could devote his whole time to +the work could, by means of some of the appliances offered--from the +apparatus in a gymnasium to rubber shirts, get off fat--nor do I doubt +the efficacy of exercise and its accompaniments in the way of sweating +and baths and all that; but when a person has a living to make these +methods are useless, not through any demerit of their own but because +the man who is fat hasn't the time or opportunity and, more than all, +soon fails in the inclination to use them. + +If you can tell me anything more ghastly than taking a system of canned +exercises in the morning or at night in one's bedroom or bathroom, or +elsewhere, with no other incentive than some physical gain that, when +you come to sum it up, is largely fictitious in value--or comes +inevitably to be thought so--I would like to have you step forward and +name it. I have been all through that phase of it, and I know; and I +also know by heart the patter of the persons who recommend it. +Further, I know the person round the forties doesn't live who enjoys +this sort of thing--no matter what he says about it; and without +enjoyment exercise is of no use or worse than useless. It can be done, +of course; and lumps of muscle can be stuck on almost any part of the +body--but what's the use to the person who has to make a living? Then, +too, I am speaking now of methods that can be used by men and women who +are no longer young. A young man can and will do stunts in physical +culture that an older man cannot do, either satisfactorily or +comfortably. + +So far as the medicinal or drug method of fat reduction is concerned, +any fat man or woman who takes drugs to reduce flesh, or to help, +deserves all that he or she will get--and that will be plenty. There's +no need of saying anything further on that subject. Then there remains +the dietary method--the old familiar friend, diet. Starting with +William Banting--maybe it didn't start with William, but before +him--but, starting with Bill for present purposes, there have been more +systems of diet invented and promulgated than there have been systems +of religion--and that means about one in every hundred has evolved a +system. + +You can get them of all sorts and all sure to do the work, ranging from +an exclusive diet of beefsteak and spinach to desiccated hay and +creamed alfalfa. There are monodiets, duodiets, vegetable diets, +fruit diets, nut diets--all kinds of diets--each guaranteed to take off +flesh if you have too much or to put it on if you have too little. +Basically, however, the antiflesh diets are about the same. You are +told to cut out everything you want to eat and exist on triply toasted +bread and the white meat of a chicken, or string beans and sawdust, or +any other combination the sharps say will not produce fat, but will +sustain life in a lingering form. They surround these diet talks and +presentments with a lot of frills about proteins and calories and all +that sort of guff, and make it as difficult as possible. Now, mark +you, I am not saying diet--scientific diet--is not a good thing, a +magnificent step forward in the progress of this world; but I am saying +that the average fat-reducing diet is impossible to any but a man or +woman of the ultimate will-power, and is a hardship that need not be +endured. I have tried these diets, and I know! They may help reduce +flesh, but they are not easy to follow and they do not contain things +that any person wants to eat or is accustomed to eat, or will eat, to +the exclusion of things that person does want to eat and will eat. It +can be done. One of these diets can be followed if the will-power is +there, and the flesh will come off; but the method does not conduce to +the best results--the physical force is reduced, and there is a much +easier way. + +I have one of these diet lists before me now from the highest-priced +flesh-reducing specialist in the world, who claims to have taken +mountains of flesh off mountainous men. In the beginning, for example, +it says: "You will understand, of course, that sugar is entirely +debarred. Also, that fats, milk, cheese, cream, eggs, and so on, are +cut off for the time being. Also that bread and farinaceous foods are +all cut off. In place of bread or toast you must use gluten biscuits." +For breakfast, in this dietary, one or two gluten biscuits are allowed +and a cup of unsweetened coffee. Also, six ounces of lean grilled +steak, chops or chicken, and any white fish--or the whites of two eggs. + +This is about the layout for luncheon and dinner. It is all about as +exciting and appetizing as that. The proposition is, of course, that +you are not taking food which will make fat and you must, therefore, +inevitably lose flesh. So far so good; but the difficulty is not in +the system, but in the hardship of carrying it out. You can't have +anything to eat that you want to eat. You torture yourself for a space +and lose some flesh; then when you do go back to your normal method of +eating the flesh comes galloping back--and there you are! It is the +same with exercise. You can take off fat by exercise; but, once you +begin, you are doomed to everlasting exercise, for the minute you stop +back comes the fat--and more of it than you had before you began to +reduce. + +It is a tough game, anyway you play it, if you are disposed to be fat. +No man living, who isn't a freak, can persist always in one diet. Nor +can any man who has anything else on his mind be always +exercising--especially after he has reached forty years of age, when +there are so many better things to do and time is valuable, and the +real idea of how to live has just begun to percolate. Also, until one +is forty, if reasonably healthy, flesh is a joke, and not so much of a +burden as it becomes later. I haven't a thing in the world against any +or all of these methods. I have tried most of them and know most of +them are bogus; but I am not trying to dissuade any person from taking +off fat in any way that suits any individual fancy or the fancy of any +reducer into whose hands the victim may have fallen. If you have a +good method go to it--and more power to you! + +My idea is this: I am setting down here a record of my own experiences, +and that is all. Every person who does not like what I have to say is +cheerfully advised to lump it. Any person who is as fat as I was and +who wants to get thinner is at liberty to follow my method. If +circumstances are similar results will be similar. If not there will +be no results. I am not advising or urging or putting forth any +propaganda. Here is what happened. It may suit you or it may not. +Either way I am indifferent. In the words of the coon song: "I've got +mine!" + +I hope I make myself clear. I have no mission or message or any +flubdub of that kind. I am not one of those boys who urge you to do +this for your own good. I have read a ton of literature put out by +persons who found something that agreed with them and immediately +started out to reform the world along that line. Your reformer, +anyhow, is a person who wants all the rest of the world to do as he +wants the rest of the world to do, not as the rest of the world wants +to do. And the reason reformers get past so numerously is because our +society is so constituted that we spend every one of our brief years +doing what other people want us to do and tell us to do, and never do +anything we ourselves want to do. Once I got seventeen pounds of books +telling that the only way to cure everything was to fast. I knew a man +who tried that. The results were grand. He fasted a long time and +cured himself of what ailed him. Only, unfortunately, just before the +last vestige of disease was removed the fasting killed him. I contend +that man might just as well have died of what ailed him originally as +to cure that disease and die of the cure. It seems to me it is as +broad as it is long. + +However, have at this fat-reduction process of mine! You must bear +with a few personal reminiscences. I was a big, husky brute of a +boy--thick-chested, broad-shouldered, country-bred and with an appetite +that knew no bounds. After I got going at my business, when I was +twenty-five or so, I was pinned down to a desk for about ten years. I +worked hard in a most exacting place. I was so healthy it hurt. I had +just as much appetite for food as I had ever had; but I didn't get a +chance to bat around as I had been accustomed to do and burn up that +food. The result was inevitable. I began to get fat. I had a big +chest--forty-six inches--and the fat filled in underneath. That big +chest, combined with my broad shoulders, concealed the size of my +paunch, and I didn't realize I was accumulating that paunch until it +was soldered, riveted, lashed, glued, nailed and otherwise fastened to +me. + +When I got my growth I weighed about one hundred and eighty-five pounds +and was a pretty formidable physical proposition. When I woke up to +the fact that I was getting fat I found I weighed two hundred and +twenty pounds. That extra thirty-five pounds was mostly fat--excess +baggage. Still, it didn't bother me any. I had the strength to tote +it round and had the shoulders and the chest to conceal it. I didn't +show any bay window, as most fat men do. As they used to say: "You're +big all over. You carry it all right." + +All this time I was eating three or four times a day and eating +everything that came my way. Also, I drank some--not excessively, but +some whisky and some beer, and occasionally some wine and +cocktails--about the average amount of drinking the average man does. +I thought I was getting too fat, and I wrestled with a bicycle all one +summer, taking long rides and plugging round a good deal. I did some +centuries, but continued eating like a horse--naturally because of the +outdoor exercise--and drank a good deal of beer. As will be seen, all +the fat I had was legitimate enough. I put it on myself. There was no +hereditary nonsense about it. I was responsible for every ounce of it. +The net result of that summer's bicycle campaign was a gain of five +pounds in weight. I was harder--but I was fatter, too. + +When I was thirty-five I began to experiment. I then weighed two +hundred and twenty-five pounds. I went to the canned-exercise, the +physical-torture professor, the diet, the salts, and all the rest of +it, taking off a few pounds but putting it all back again--and more--as +soon as I stopped. + +These attempts numbered about two a year. Between times I ate as I +wanted to and drank as I pleased. Things ran along until the first of +January, 1911. I knew I was getting fatter, for my tailor told me so +and my belts and old clothes all proved it. Still, I didn't bother +much. I thought I was lingering round about two hundred and +thirty-five--too much, of course; but I got away with it pretty well, +except in hot weather and when I went up in the high mountains, and I +was reasonably content. I was fat, all right. My waist was only two +inches smaller than my chest and that meant my waist was forty-four +inches in girth. As a matter of fact, being scant five feet ten and a +half, I was bigger than a house; but I deluded myself with that stuff +about my broad shoulders and my deep chest, and thought it didn't show. +It did show, of course. I was a fat man--a big fat man--carrying forty +pounds or more of excess weight. + +I had dieted and quit; exercised and quit; gone on the waterwagon and +fallen off; had fussed round a good deal, spending a lot of money in +the attempt, and I was getting fatter all the time. I hated to admit +that fact. I tried to fool myself into the conviction that I wasn't +getting any larger--and all the time I knew I was. I even went so far +as to stop getting on the scales; and when anybody--as almost everybody +did--said, "Why, you're getting bigger, ain't you?" I always replied: +"No, I think not. I stick along about two hundred and thirty-five +pounds." + +A year ago last summer I went up into the mountains, where I usually go +for my fun. I had noticed a shortness of breath and a wheeziness in +previous summers, and had felt my heart pounding pretty hard; but that +summer I noticed these things acutely. I couldn't get any air to +breathe. My heart pounded like a pneumatic riveter. Any little +exercise tired me; and when in the lowlands in hot weather I was the +perspiring marvel and the most uncomfortable as well as the sloppiest +person you ever saw. It was fierce! + +I was doing a good deal of walking in those days--had to burn up the +fuel I was taking into my body. Also, I noticed it was mighty hard to +keep awake after dinner unless I got out into the air and kept moving. +I felt well enough and the doctors said I was organically all right. I +kept informed on those points--but I was fat! Also, though I lied to +myself, I knew I was getting fatter. + +CHAPTER III + +FACING THE TISSUE + +On New Year's Day, 1911, I weighed myself. I don't know why, for I +hadn't been on a scale for two or three years. I set the weight at two +hundred and thirty-five and it bounded up like a rubber ball; so I shoved +it along to two hundred and forty and it still stayed up in the air. +When I got a balance I found I weighed two hundred and forty-seven +pounds. I was amazed! Also, I was scared; for it instantly occurred to +me that if I had gone up to two hundred and forty-seven in two or three +years from two hundred and thirty-five I should keep on going up if my +manner of living didn't change--and that presently I should weigh three +hundred! + +That two hundred and forty-seven pounds was a facer. I was forced to +admit to myself that I was fat, disgustingly fat--too fat; and that I +should get fatter! So I sat down and looked the situation in the eye. I +recounted all my former efforts to get thin and discarded them one by +one. I knew myself, and knew the ordinary diet proposition and the +ordinary exercise proposition were not for me. I knew I was wheezy and +that my heart was getting choked with fat; that there were great folds of +it on me, and that it was up to me to get rid of it or quit and wait for +the inevitable end. If it kept on I knew I should blow up some fine day. +Besides, I was uric-acidy, rheumatic and stertorous and clumsy. I had +about fifty or sixty pounds of poisonous junk wrapped round me, and I +knew I should suffer for it in the end, though I didn't feel it much and +carried it with a fair assumption of lightness. + +I was not an amateur at the game. I had been through the mill. I spent +several days in going over the whole matter. It was reasonably simple, +too, and needn't have taken so much of my time; but I was protecting +myself, you see, gold-bricking myself--trying to find a way out that +would not deprive me of things I liked to do, of pleasures I wanted to +enjoy. It was pure selfishness that dominated me and made me do so much +figuring on a proposition I knew was contained in a sentence; but I did +fight to hang on to the old way of living. + +After each session of false logic and selfish hypothesis I invariably +came back to the same proposition, which is the only proposition--and +that was: What makes fat? Food and drink. How can you reduce fat? By +reducing the amount of food and drink--that is all there is or was to it. +The only way to get rid of the effects of overeating and overdrinking is +to stop overeating and overdrinking. + +I went over my food habit. I was accustomed to eating a big hired-man's +breakfast--fruit, coffee, eggs, waffles, hot bread, sausage, anything +that came along; and I heaved in a lot of it--not a little--a lot! I +didn't eat so much at luncheon, but I ate plenty; and at night I simply +cleaned up the table. I wasn't so strong on sweets and pastry, because I +usually drank a few highballs during the day, and highballs and cocktails +and sweets do not go well together--that is, the man who takes alcohol +into his system usually does not care for sweets. Beer was one of my +long suits too--Pilsner beer. I did like that! + +I looked this food habit squarely in the face. I impaled the drink habit +with my glittering eye. I knew I was eating about sixty per cent more +than I needed or could use, and that I was drinking a hundred per cent +more. I knew that nothing makes fat but food and drink. I knew excess +of food will make any animal fat and I saw I had been eating freely of +the most fattening kinds of food. I knew beer and liquor were made of +grain, and that grain is used to fatten steers and cows and pigs. I +refused to adopt a diet like any of those unpalatable ones I had +experimented with, but the remedy was as plain as the cause. It was +simple enough if I had the nerve to go through with it. + +Inasmuch as an excess of food and drink make an excess of fat, it follows +that the reduction in the amount of food will stop that fat-forming and +give the body a chance to burn up the excess fat already formed. That +was my conclusion. Mind you, I reached that conclusion before I made any +of my arguments; but I didn't want to admit it as reasonable or logical, +for I hated to give up the pleasures of the table and the sociability +that came with the sort of drinking I did. I was trying to find a way +out that would be easy and comfortable. And all the time I was getting +fatter! The scales told me that. + +This backing and filling and argument with myself lasted all through +January and part of February. It took me six weeks to get myself into +the frame of mind where I admitted the truth of my conclusion. I was no +hero. I didn't want to do it. I loved it all too well. I was as rank a +coward in the beginning as you ever saw! It appalled me to think of +restricting myself in any way, for I liked the pleasures that I knew I +must forego. However, when I got up to two hundred and fifty pounds I +sat down and had it out with myself. + +"Here!" I said to myself. "You big stuff, you now weigh two hundred and +fifty pounds! In another year or two you will weigh two hundred and +seventy-five pounds! You are uncomfortable and heavy on your feet, and +you are gouty and wheezy; and it's a cinch you'll die in a few years if +you keep on this way. You know all this fat is caused by an excess of +food and drink, and you know it can be taken off by a reduction in those +fatmakers. Are you going to stick round here so fat you are a joke, +uncomfortable, miserable when it's hot, in your own way and in the way of +everybody else, when, if you've got the will-power of a chickadee, you +can get back to reasonable proportions and comfort merely by denying +yourself things you do not need?" + +All the old arguments obtruded. See what I should lose! Life would be a +dull and dreary affair--a dun, dismal proposition. I admitted that. On +the other hand, however, life would not be a wheezy, sweaty, +choked-heart, uncomfortable proposition. I finally decided I would go to +it. And I did. + +My method may be utterly unscientific. I suppose it hasn't a scientific +leg to stand on. Still, it did the business. And I maintain that +results are what we are looking for. The end justifies the means. I +didn't figure out a diet. I had a dozen of them at home that had cost me +all the way from two dollars to two hundred and fifty dollars each. I +didn't buy a system of exercise. I read no books and consulted no +doctors. What I did was this: I cut down the amount of food I ate sixty +per cent and I cut out alcohol altogether! I carried out my argument to +its logical conclusion so far as it concerned myself. I didn't give a +hoot whether it would help or hurt or concern any other person in the +world. It was my body I was experimenting on, and I did what I +dad-blamed pleased and asked no advice--nor took any. + +Instead of a hot-bread--I have the greatest hot-bread artist in the world +at my house, bar none!--waffle, sausage, kidney-stew, lamb-chop, +fried-egg and so forth sort of breakfast, I cut that meal down to some +fruit, a couple of pieces of dry, hard toast, two boiled eggs and coffee. +I cut out the luncheon altogether. No more luncheon for me! I cut down +my dinners to about forty per cent of what I had been eating. I +diminished the quantity, but not the variety. I ate everything that came +along, but I didn't eat so much or half so much. Instead of two slices +of roast beef, for example, I ate only one small slice. Instead of two +baked or browned potatoes, I ate only half of one. Instead of three or +four slices of bread, I ate only one. I didn't deprive myself of a +single thing I liked, but I cut the quantity away down. And I quit +drinking alcohol absolutely. + +What happened? This is what happened: Eating food is just as much a +habit as breathing or any other physical function. I had got myself into +the habit of eating large quantities of food. Also, I had accustomed my +system to certain amounts of alcohol. I was organized on that +basis--fatly and flabbily organized, to be sure, but organized just the +same. Now, then, when I arbitrarily cut down the amount of food and +drink for which my system was organized that entire system rose up in +active revolt and yelled for what it had been accustomed to get. There +wasn't a minute for more than three months when I wasn't hungry, actually +hungry for food; when the sight of food did not excite me and when I did +not have a physical longing and appetite for food; when my stomach did +not seem to demand it and my palate howl for it. It was different with +the drinking. I got over that desire rather promptly, but with a +struggle, at that; but the food-yearn was there for weeks and weeks, and +it was a fight--a bitter, bitter fight! + +When I went to the table and saw the good things on it, and knew I +intended only to eat small portions of them, especially of my favorite +desserts and my beloved hot-bread, I simply had to grip the sides of my +chair and use all the will-power I had to keep from reaching out and +grabbing something and stuffing it into my mouth! My friends used to +think it was all a joke. It was farther from being a joke than anything +you ever heard about. It was a tragedy--a grim, relentless tragedy! It +was acute physical suffering. My body cried out for that same amount of +food I had been giving it all those years. I wanted to give it that same +amount. I have had to leave the table time and time again to get hold of +myself and go back to the smaller portions I had allotted to myself. I +liked to eat, you know. + +Nothing much happened for a few weeks, though the waistband of my +trousers grew looser. Then a lot of excess baggage seemed to drop away +all at once. I weighed myself and found I had taken off twenty-five +pounds. Friends told me to quit--that I should overdo it. I laughed at +them. I knew I was still twenty-five pounds too heavy and I was just +getting into my stride. It is strange how men, and especially fat men, +who haven't the nerve to reduce themselves, think a man must be sick if +he takes off flesh. I knew I wasn't sick. Indeed, I was just beginning +to get well. + +By the end of three months I had taken off thirty-five pounds. It was +coming off well, too. My face wasn't haggard or wrinkled. I looked fit. +My eye was clear and my double chin had disappeared. Also, I had +conquered my fight with my appetite. I had won out. I was satisfied +with the smaller quantities of food and I felt better than I had in +twenty years--stronger, fitter--and was better, mentally and physically. +After that it was a cinch. I kept along, eating everything on the +bill-of-fare, but in small quantities. I didn't vary my diet a bit, +except for the eggs at breakfast. If I wanted pie I ate a small piece. +If I wanted ice cream I ate a small dish. If I wanted pudding I ate some +of that. I ate fat meat and lean meat and spaghetti, and everything else +interdicted by the reduction dietists--only in small quantities! And I +kept on getting smaller and smaller. + +The fat came off from everywhere. I had been incased with it apparently. +My waist decreased seven inches. A big layer of fat came off my chest +and abdomen. My legs and arms grew smaller but harder. Even my fingers +grew smaller. My excess of chin evaporated. And at the end of the fifth +month I had taken off fifty-five pounds. I weighed then one hundred and +ninety-five pounds, which is what I weigh today. + +Every person, I take it, has a normal weight; and if that person gives +his body a chance, and ill health does not intervene, the body will find +that normal and stay there. I take it that my normal weight, on account +of my big frame and bones, is about one hundred and ninety-five pounds, +at the age of forty-three. At any rate, it has stayed at a hundred and +ninety-five since the first of last July, and in that time I have loafed +for two months and ridden on Pullman cars for two other months, and have +not taken any exercise to speak of; but I have maintained my schedule of +eating and I have not taken any alcohol. I figure I can stay where I am +indefinitely on that program--and that is my program indefinitely. + +There are certain economic phases of a campaign of this kind that should +be mentioned. It is expensive. Not one item of clothing, save my hat, +socks and shoes, which fitted me last January is of the slightest use to +me now. I didn't get to cutting down clothes until I was sure I would +stick. Since that time the tailors have had a picnic at my expense. My +shirts were too big. Instead of wearing a seventeen-and-three-quarters +collar, I now wear a sixteen-and-three-quarters. My waist is seven +inches smaller. I even had to have a seal ring I wear cut down so it +would not slip off my finger. While in the transition stage I looked +like a scarecrow. My clothes hung on me like bags. + +Since I have had my clothes re-made and new ones constructed I am an +object of continual comment among my friends. They all marvel at my +changed appearance. They are all solicitous about my health. They do +not see how a man can take off more than fifty pounds and not hurt +himself. I do not see how he can keep it on and not kill himself. They +tell me I look like a boy--and I feel like one. I'm as active as I was +twenty years ago. When I was in the mountains this summer, at an +altitude of seventy-five hundred feet, I could climb slopes with no +exhaustion that I couldn't have gone fifteen feet up the year before. My +mind is clearer; my body is better. I figure I have added a good many +years to my life. + +And all this time I have had everything I wanted to eat, but not all I +wanted to eat until I got myself readjusted to the new system. I missed +the alcohol at first, but that is all over now. It was a part of the +game and I used to think a necessary part. I have cured myself of that +delusion. If there is a thing on earth the matter with me the ablest +doctors in this country can't find out what it is. I am a rejuvenated, +reconstructed person, no longer fat, aged forty-three--and the White +Man's Hope! + +As to the exercise end of it, there wasn't any exercise end. It happened +that I met a man last March, when I was in the first throes of this +campaign, who had made some study of the human body. I liked him because +he was modest about what he knew, and not a faddist. We talked about +exercise. He told me one thing that stuck. He said: "Walk a little +every day. If you have half an hour walk a mile. If you have an hour +walk two miles. Don't try to see how many miles you can walk in the +half-hour or the hour, but take your time. Look at things as you go +along. Be leisurely about it. When a man goes out for a walk and walks +as hard as he can or does anything else in the shape of exercise as hard +as he can he is subjecting himself to just as much nerve strain as he can +subject himself to in any other way. Be calm about your walking, or +whatever else you do." + +Formerly it had been my custom to plug out after breakfast and gallop +three or four miles as hard as I could and then go to work. I cut that +out. I walked an easy, leisurely mile or two miles, looking at the trees +and flowers and watching the people and looking into shop windows, and I +got a lot of good out of it. Then it grew hot, and I cut my walking to +half a mile or so down to my office in the morning and back at night. +Occasionally, after dinner, I would walk a couple of miles. This summer +I went fishing and tramped about some, but not much. In reality, I had +no scheme of exercise, and I took little. I didn't need it. I didn't +have masses of food and drink in me to be burned up. I was normal. + +As I said, I suppose all this is absurdly unscientific--and I don't give +a hoot if it is. It worked for me. I don't know whether it will work +for any other person on this earth. Nor do I care. If you want to try +it on, provided you are fat, here are the specifications: I assume it is +an axiom that we all eat too much. I know I did--about sixty per cent +too much. Still, I guarantee nothing. I make no claims. I have set +down the facts; and the only warning, advice or admonition I have to give +is that any person who makes up his mind to try this method and thinks he +isn't in for the hardest struggle of his life would do well not to try. +This isn't a frolic. It's a fight. + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14743 *** diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..0db70e3 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #14743 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/14743) diff --git a/old/14743.txt b/old/14743.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..037014e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/14743.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1037 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Fun of Getting Thin, by Samuel G. Blythe + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The Fun of Getting Thin + +Author: Samuel G. Blythe + +Release Date: January 20, 2005 [eBook #14743] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FUN OF GETTING THIN*** + + +E-text prepared by Al Haines + + + +THE FUN OF GETTING THIN + +How To Be Happy and Reduce the Waist Line + +by + +SAMUEL G. BLYTHE + +Author of "Cutting It Out" + +Chicago +Forbes & Company + +1912 + + + + + + + +CONTENTS + + CHAPTER + + I. Fat + + II. The So-Called Cures + + III. Facing the Tissue + + + + +THE FUN OF GETTING THIN + + +CHAPTER I + +FAT + +A fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes--one on herself and +the other on her husband. Half the comedy in the world is predicated +on the paunch. At that, the human race is divided into but two +classes--fat people who are trying to get thin and thin people who are +trying to get fat. + +Fat, the doctors say, is fatal. I move to amend by striking out the +last two letters of the indictment. Fat is fat. It isn't any more +fatal to be reasonably fat than to be reasonably thin, but it's a +darned sight more uncomfortable. So far as being unreasonably thin or +unreasonably fat is concerned, I suppose the thin person has the long +end of it. I never was thin, so I don't know. However, I have been +fat--notice that "have been"? And if there is any phase of human +enjoyment, any part of life, any occupation, avocation, divertisement, +pleasure or pain where the fat man has the better of it in any regard, +I failed to discover it in the twenty years during which I looked like +the rear end of a hack and had all the bodily characteristics of a bale +of hay. + +When you come to examine into the actuating motives for any line of +human endeavor you will find that vanity figures about ninety per cent, +directly or indirectly, in the assay. The personal equation is the +ruling equation. Women want to be thinner because they will look +better--and so do men. Likewise, women want to be plumper because they +will look better--and so do men. This holds up to forty years. After +that it doesn't make much difference whether either men or women look +any better than they have been looking, so far as the great end and aim +of all life is concerned. Consequently fat men and fat women after +forty want to be thinner for reasons of health and comfort, or quit and +resign themselves to their further years of obesity. + +Now I am over forty. Hence my experiments in reduction may be taken at +this time as grounded on a desire for comfort--not that I did not make +many campaigns against my fat before I was forty. I fought it now and +then, but always retreated before I won a victory. This time, instead +of skirmishing valiantly for a space and then being ignominiously and +fatly routed by the powerful forces of food and drink, I hung stolidly +to the line of my original attack, harassed the enemy by a constant and +deadly fire--and one morning discovered I had the foe on the run. + +It always makes me laugh to hear people talk about losing +flesh--unless, of course, the decrease in weight is due to illness. No +healthy person, predisposed to fat, ever lost any flesh. If that +person gets rid of any weight, or girth, or fat, it isn't lost--it is +fought off, beaten off. The victim struggles with it, goes to the mat +with it, and does not debonairly drop it. He eliminates it with stern +effort and much travail of the spirit. It is a job of work, a grueling +combat to the finish, a task that appalls and usually repels. + +The theory of taking off fat is the simplest theory in the world. It +is announced, in four words: Stop eating and drinking. The practice of +fat reduction is the most difficult thing in the world. Its +difficulties are comprehended in two words: You cannot. The flesh is +willing, but the spirit is weak. The success of the undertaking lies +in the triumph of the will over the appetite. There's a lovely line of +cant for you! Triumph of the will over the appetite. It sounds like +the preaching of a professional food faddist, who tells the people they +eat too much and then slips away and wolfs down four pounds of +beefsteak at a sitting. However, I suppose it is necessary to say this +once in a dissertation like this--and it is said. + +In writing about this successful experiment of mine in reducing weight +I have no theories to advance except one, and no instructions to give. +I don't know whether my method would take an ounce off any other person +in the world, and I don't care. I only know it took more than fifty +pounds off me. I am not advancing any argument, medicinal or +otherwise, for my plan. I never talked to a doctor about it, and never +shall. If there are fat men and fat women who are fat for the same +reasons I was fat I suppose they can get thin the way I got thin. If +they are fat for other reasons I suppose they cannot. I don't know +about either proposition. + +I have great respect for doctors--so much respect, in fact, that I keep +diligently away from them. I know the preliminaries of their game and +can take a dose of medicine myself as skillfully as they can administer +it. Also, I know when I have a fever, and have a working knowledge of +how my heart should beat and my other bodily functions be performed. I +have frequently found that a prescription, unintelligibly written but +looking very wise, is highly efficacious when folded carefully and put +in the pocketbook instead of being deposited with a druggist. I +suppose that comes from a sort of hereditary faith in amulets. No +doubt the method would be even more efficacious if the prescription +were tied on a string and hung around the neck. I shall try that some +time when my wife lugs in a doctor on me. + +Still, doctors are interesting as a class. After you get beyond the +let-me-feel-your-pulse-and-see-your-tongue preliminaries they are +versatile and ingenious. Almost always, after you tell them what is +the matter with you, they will know--not every time, but frequently. +Also, they will take any sort of a chance with you in the interest of +science. However, they generally send out for a specialist when they +are ill themselves. When you come to think of it that is but natural. +Almost any man, whether professional or not, will take a chance with +somebody else that he wouldn't quite go through with on himself. +Besides, doctors treat comparative strangers for the most part, and the +interests of science are to be conserved. + +Almost any doctor can tell you how to get thin. To be sure, no doctor +will tell you to do the same things any other doctor prescribes, but it +all simmers down to the same thing: Cut out the starchy foods and +sweets, and take exercise. Also: Don't drink alcohol. The variations +that can be played on this simple theme by a skillful doctor are +endless. When a real specialist in fat reduction gets hold of you--a +real, earnest reducer--he can contrive a diet that would make a living +skeleton thin--and likewise put him in his little grave. I have had +diets handed to me that would starve a humming-bird, and diets that +would put flesh on a bronze statue; and all to the same end--reduction. +Science has been monkeying with nourishment for the past ten or fifteen +years to the exclusion of many other branches of research; and about +all that has happened to the nourishment is the large elimination of +nutriment from it. + + + + +CHAPTER II + +THE SO-CALLED CURES + +Broadly speaking, the methods of fat reduction most in vogue are +divided into four classes--mechanical, physical, medicinal and dietary. +The first two are not worth considering by a man who has anything else +to do. I do not doubt that a man who could devote his whole time to +the work could, by means of some of the appliances offered--from the +apparatus in a gymnasium to rubber shirts, get off fat--nor do I doubt +the efficacy of exercise and its accompaniments in the way of sweating +and baths and all that; but when a person has a living to make these +methods are useless, not through any demerit of their own but because +the man who is fat hasn't the time or opportunity and, more than all, +soon fails in the inclination to use them. + +If you can tell me anything more ghastly than taking a system of canned +exercises in the morning or at night in one's bedroom or bathroom, or +elsewhere, with no other incentive than some physical gain that, when +you come to sum it up, is largely fictitious in value--or comes +inevitably to be thought so--I would like to have you step forward and +name it. I have been all through that phase of it, and I know; and I +also know by heart the patter of the persons who recommend it. +Further, I know the person round the forties doesn't live who enjoys +this sort of thing--no matter what he says about it; and without +enjoyment exercise is of no use or worse than useless. It can be done, +of course; and lumps of muscle can be stuck on almost any part of the +body--but what's the use to the person who has to make a living? Then, +too, I am speaking now of methods that can be used by men and women who +are no longer young. A young man can and will do stunts in physical +culture that an older man cannot do, either satisfactorily or +comfortably. + +So far as the medicinal or drug method of fat reduction is concerned, +any fat man or woman who takes drugs to reduce flesh, or to help, +deserves all that he or she will get--and that will be plenty. There's +no need of saying anything further on that subject. Then there remains +the dietary method--the old familiar friend, diet. Starting with +William Banting--maybe it didn't start with William, but before +him--but, starting with Bill for present purposes, there have been more +systems of diet invented and promulgated than there have been systems +of religion--and that means about one in every hundred has evolved a +system. + +You can get them of all sorts and all sure to do the work, ranging from +an exclusive diet of beefsteak and spinach to desiccated hay and +creamed alfalfa. There are monodiets, duodiets, vegetable diets, +fruit diets, nut diets--all kinds of diets--each guaranteed to take off +flesh if you have too much or to put it on if you have too little. +Basically, however, the antiflesh diets are about the same. You are +told to cut out everything you want to eat and exist on triply toasted +bread and the white meat of a chicken, or string beans and sawdust, or +any other combination the sharps say will not produce fat, but will +sustain life in a lingering form. They surround these diet talks and +presentments with a lot of frills about proteins and calories and all +that sort of guff, and make it as difficult as possible. Now, mark +you, I am not saying diet--scientific diet--is not a good thing, a +magnificent step forward in the progress of this world; but I am saying +that the average fat-reducing diet is impossible to any but a man or +woman of the ultimate will-power, and is a hardship that need not be +endured. I have tried these diets, and I know! They may help reduce +flesh, but they are not easy to follow and they do not contain things +that any person wants to eat or is accustomed to eat, or will eat, to +the exclusion of things that person does want to eat and will eat. It +can be done. One of these diets can be followed if the will-power is +there, and the flesh will come off; but the method does not conduce to +the best results--the physical force is reduced, and there is a much +easier way. + +I have one of these diet lists before me now from the highest-priced +flesh-reducing specialist in the world, who claims to have taken +mountains of flesh off mountainous men. In the beginning, for example, +it says: "You will understand, of course, that sugar is entirely +debarred. Also, that fats, milk, cheese, cream, eggs, and so on, are +cut off for the time being. Also that bread and farinaceous foods are +all cut off. In place of bread or toast you must use gluten biscuits." +For breakfast, in this dietary, one or two gluten biscuits are allowed +and a cup of unsweetened coffee. Also, six ounces of lean grilled +steak, chops or chicken, and any white fish--or the whites of two eggs. + +This is about the layout for luncheon and dinner. It is all about as +exciting and appetizing as that. The proposition is, of course, that +you are not taking food which will make fat and you must, therefore, +inevitably lose flesh. So far so good; but the difficulty is not in +the system, but in the hardship of carrying it out. You can't have +anything to eat that you want to eat. You torture yourself for a space +and lose some flesh; then when you do go back to your normal method of +eating the flesh comes galloping back--and there you are! It is the +same with exercise. You can take off fat by exercise; but, once you +begin, you are doomed to everlasting exercise, for the minute you stop +back comes the fat--and more of it than you had before you began to +reduce. + +It is a tough game, anyway you play it, if you are disposed to be fat. +No man living, who isn't a freak, can persist always in one diet. Nor +can any man who has anything else on his mind be always +exercising--especially after he has reached forty years of age, when +there are so many better things to do and time is valuable, and the +real idea of how to live has just begun to percolate. Also, until one +is forty, if reasonably healthy, flesh is a joke, and not so much of a +burden as it becomes later. I haven't a thing in the world against any +or all of these methods. I have tried most of them and know most of +them are bogus; but I am not trying to dissuade any person from taking +off fat in any way that suits any individual fancy or the fancy of any +reducer into whose hands the victim may have fallen. If you have a +good method go to it--and more power to you! + +My idea is this: I am setting down here a record of my own experiences, +and that is all. Every person who does not like what I have to say is +cheerfully advised to lump it. Any person who is as fat as I was and +who wants to get thinner is at liberty to follow my method. If +circumstances are similar results will be similar. If not there will +be no results. I am not advising or urging or putting forth any +propaganda. Here is what happened. It may suit you or it may not. +Either way I am indifferent. In the words of the coon song: "I've got +mine!" + +I hope I make myself clear. I have no mission or message or any +flubdub of that kind. I am not one of those boys who urge you to do +this for your own good. I have read a ton of literature put out by +persons who found something that agreed with them and immediately +started out to reform the world along that line. Your reformer, +anyhow, is a person who wants all the rest of the world to do as he +wants the rest of the world to do, not as the rest of the world wants +to do. And the reason reformers get past so numerously is because our +society is so constituted that we spend every one of our brief years +doing what other people want us to do and tell us to do, and never do +anything we ourselves want to do. Once I got seventeen pounds of books +telling that the only way to cure everything was to fast. I knew a man +who tried that. The results were grand. He fasted a long time and +cured himself of what ailed him. Only, unfortunately, just before the +last vestige of disease was removed the fasting killed him. I contend +that man might just as well have died of what ailed him originally as +to cure that disease and die of the cure. It seems to me it is as +broad as it is long. + +However, have at this fat-reduction process of mine! You must bear +with a few personal reminiscences. I was a big, husky brute of a +boy--thick-chested, broad-shouldered, country-bred and with an appetite +that knew no bounds. After I got going at my business, when I was +twenty-five or so, I was pinned down to a desk for about ten years. I +worked hard in a most exacting place. I was so healthy it hurt. I had +just as much appetite for food as I had ever had; but I didn't get a +chance to bat around as I had been accustomed to do and burn up that +food. The result was inevitable. I began to get fat. I had a big +chest--forty-six inches--and the fat filled in underneath. That big +chest, combined with my broad shoulders, concealed the size of my +paunch, and I didn't realize I was accumulating that paunch until it +was soldered, riveted, lashed, glued, nailed and otherwise fastened to +me. + +When I got my growth I weighed about one hundred and eighty-five pounds +and was a pretty formidable physical proposition. When I woke up to +the fact that I was getting fat I found I weighed two hundred and +twenty pounds. That extra thirty-five pounds was mostly fat--excess +baggage. Still, it didn't bother me any. I had the strength to tote +it round and had the shoulders and the chest to conceal it. I didn't +show any bay window, as most fat men do. As they used to say: "You're +big all over. You carry it all right." + +All this time I was eating three or four times a day and eating +everything that came my way. Also, I drank some--not excessively, but +some whisky and some beer, and occasionally some wine and +cocktails--about the average amount of drinking the average man does. +I thought I was getting too fat, and I wrestled with a bicycle all one +summer, taking long rides and plugging round a good deal. I did some +centuries, but continued eating like a horse--naturally because of the +outdoor exercise--and drank a good deal of beer. As will be seen, all +the fat I had was legitimate enough. I put it on myself. There was no +hereditary nonsense about it. I was responsible for every ounce of it. +The net result of that summer's bicycle campaign was a gain of five +pounds in weight. I was harder--but I was fatter, too. + +When I was thirty-five I began to experiment. I then weighed two +hundred and twenty-five pounds. I went to the canned-exercise, the +physical-torture professor, the diet, the salts, and all the rest of +it, taking off a few pounds but putting it all back again--and more--as +soon as I stopped. + +These attempts numbered about two a year. Between times I ate as I +wanted to and drank as I pleased. Things ran along until the first of +January, 1911. I knew I was getting fatter, for my tailor told me so +and my belts and old clothes all proved it. Still, I didn't bother +much. I thought I was lingering round about two hundred and +thirty-five--too much, of course; but I got away with it pretty well, +except in hot weather and when I went up in the high mountains, and I +was reasonably content. I was fat, all right. My waist was only two +inches smaller than my chest and that meant my waist was forty-four +inches in girth. As a matter of fact, being scant five feet ten and a +half, I was bigger than a house; but I deluded myself with that stuff +about my broad shoulders and my deep chest, and thought it didn't show. +It did show, of course. I was a fat man--a big fat man--carrying forty +pounds or more of excess weight. + +I had dieted and quit; exercised and quit; gone on the waterwagon and +fallen off; had fussed round a good deal, spending a lot of money in +the attempt, and I was getting fatter all the time. I hated to admit +that fact. I tried to fool myself into the conviction that I wasn't +getting any larger--and all the time I knew I was. I even went so far +as to stop getting on the scales; and when anybody--as almost everybody +did--said, "Why, you're getting bigger, ain't you?" I always replied: +"No, I think not. I stick along about two hundred and thirty-five +pounds." + +A year ago last summer I went up into the mountains, where I usually go +for my fun. I had noticed a shortness of breath and a wheeziness in +previous summers, and had felt my heart pounding pretty hard; but that +summer I noticed these things acutely. I couldn't get any air to +breathe. My heart pounded like a pneumatic riveter. Any little +exercise tired me; and when in the lowlands in hot weather I was the +perspiring marvel and the most uncomfortable as well as the sloppiest +person you ever saw. It was fierce! + +I was doing a good deal of walking in those days--had to burn up the +fuel I was taking into my body. Also, I noticed it was mighty hard to +keep awake after dinner unless I got out into the air and kept moving. +I felt well enough and the doctors said I was organically all right. I +kept informed on those points--but I was fat! Also, though I lied to +myself, I knew I was getting fatter. + +CHAPTER III + +FACING THE TISSUE + +On New Year's Day, 1911, I weighed myself. I don't know why, for I +hadn't been on a scale for two or three years. I set the weight at two +hundred and thirty-five and it bounded up like a rubber ball; so I shoved +it along to two hundred and forty and it still stayed up in the air. +When I got a balance I found I weighed two hundred and forty-seven +pounds. I was amazed! Also, I was scared; for it instantly occurred to +me that if I had gone up to two hundred and forty-seven in two or three +years from two hundred and thirty-five I should keep on going up if my +manner of living didn't change--and that presently I should weigh three +hundred! + +That two hundred and forty-seven pounds was a facer. I was forced to +admit to myself that I was fat, disgustingly fat--too fat; and that I +should get fatter! So I sat down and looked the situation in the eye. I +recounted all my former efforts to get thin and discarded them one by +one. I knew myself, and knew the ordinary diet proposition and the +ordinary exercise proposition were not for me. I knew I was wheezy and +that my heart was getting choked with fat; that there were great folds of +it on me, and that it was up to me to get rid of it or quit and wait for +the inevitable end. If it kept on I knew I should blow up some fine day. +Besides, I was uric-acidy, rheumatic and stertorous and clumsy. I had +about fifty or sixty pounds of poisonous junk wrapped round me, and I +knew I should suffer for it in the end, though I didn't feel it much and +carried it with a fair assumption of lightness. + +I was not an amateur at the game. I had been through the mill. I spent +several days in going over the whole matter. It was reasonably simple, +too, and needn't have taken so much of my time; but I was protecting +myself, you see, gold-bricking myself--trying to find a way out that +would not deprive me of things I liked to do, of pleasures I wanted to +enjoy. It was pure selfishness that dominated me and made me do so much +figuring on a proposition I knew was contained in a sentence; but I did +fight to hang on to the old way of living. + +After each session of false logic and selfish hypothesis I invariably +came back to the same proposition, which is the only proposition--and +that was: What makes fat? Food and drink. How can you reduce fat? By +reducing the amount of food and drink--that is all there is or was to it. +The only way to get rid of the effects of overeating and overdrinking is +to stop overeating and overdrinking. + +I went over my food habit. I was accustomed to eating a big hired-man's +breakfast--fruit, coffee, eggs, waffles, hot bread, sausage, anything +that came along; and I heaved in a lot of it--not a little--a lot! I +didn't eat so much at luncheon, but I ate plenty; and at night I simply +cleaned up the table. I wasn't so strong on sweets and pastry, because I +usually drank a few highballs during the day, and highballs and cocktails +and sweets do not go well together--that is, the man who takes alcohol +into his system usually does not care for sweets. Beer was one of my +long suits too--Pilsner beer. I did like that! + +I looked this food habit squarely in the face. I impaled the drink habit +with my glittering eye. I knew I was eating about sixty per cent more +than I needed or could use, and that I was drinking a hundred per cent +more. I knew that nothing makes fat but food and drink. I knew excess +of food will make any animal fat and I saw I had been eating freely of +the most fattening kinds of food. I knew beer and liquor were made of +grain, and that grain is used to fatten steers and cows and pigs. I +refused to adopt a diet like any of those unpalatable ones I had +experimented with, but the remedy was as plain as the cause. It was +simple enough if I had the nerve to go through with it. + +Inasmuch as an excess of food and drink make an excess of fat, it follows +that the reduction in the amount of food will stop that fat-forming and +give the body a chance to burn up the excess fat already formed. That +was my conclusion. Mind you, I reached that conclusion before I made any +of my arguments; but I didn't want to admit it as reasonable or logical, +for I hated to give up the pleasures of the table and the sociability +that came with the sort of drinking I did. I was trying to find a way +out that would be easy and comfortable. And all the time I was getting +fatter! The scales told me that. + +This backing and filling and argument with myself lasted all through +January and part of February. It took me six weeks to get myself into +the frame of mind where I admitted the truth of my conclusion. I was no +hero. I didn't want to do it. I loved it all too well. I was as rank a +coward in the beginning as you ever saw! It appalled me to think of +restricting myself in any way, for I liked the pleasures that I knew I +must forego. However, when I got up to two hundred and fifty pounds I +sat down and had it out with myself. + +"Here!" I said to myself. "You big stuff, you now weigh two hundred and +fifty pounds! In another year or two you will weigh two hundred and +seventy-five pounds! You are uncomfortable and heavy on your feet, and +you are gouty and wheezy; and it's a cinch you'll die in a few years if +you keep on this way. You know all this fat is caused by an excess of +food and drink, and you know it can be taken off by a reduction in those +fatmakers. Are you going to stick round here so fat you are a joke, +uncomfortable, miserable when it's hot, in your own way and in the way of +everybody else, when, if you've got the will-power of a chickadee, you +can get back to reasonable proportions and comfort merely by denying +yourself things you do not need?" + +All the old arguments obtruded. See what I should lose! Life would be a +dull and dreary affair--a dun, dismal proposition. I admitted that. On +the other hand, however, life would not be a wheezy, sweaty, +choked-heart, uncomfortable proposition. I finally decided I would go to +it. And I did. + +My method may be utterly unscientific. I suppose it hasn't a scientific +leg to stand on. Still, it did the business. And I maintain that +results are what we are looking for. The end justifies the means. I +didn't figure out a diet. I had a dozen of them at home that had cost me +all the way from two dollars to two hundred and fifty dollars each. I +didn't buy a system of exercise. I read no books and consulted no +doctors. What I did was this: I cut down the amount of food I ate sixty +per cent and I cut out alcohol altogether! I carried out my argument to +its logical conclusion so far as it concerned myself. I didn't give a +hoot whether it would help or hurt or concern any other person in the +world. It was my body I was experimenting on, and I did what I +dad-blamed pleased and asked no advice--nor took any. + +Instead of a hot-bread--I have the greatest hot-bread artist in the world +at my house, bar none!--waffle, sausage, kidney-stew, lamb-chop, +fried-egg and so forth sort of breakfast, I cut that meal down to some +fruit, a couple of pieces of dry, hard toast, two boiled eggs and coffee. +I cut out the luncheon altogether. No more luncheon for me! I cut down +my dinners to about forty per cent of what I had been eating. I +diminished the quantity, but not the variety. I ate everything that came +along, but I didn't eat so much or half so much. Instead of two slices +of roast beef, for example, I ate only one small slice. Instead of two +baked or browned potatoes, I ate only half of one. Instead of three or +four slices of bread, I ate only one. I didn't deprive myself of a +single thing I liked, but I cut the quantity away down. And I quit +drinking alcohol absolutely. + +What happened? This is what happened: Eating food is just as much a +habit as breathing or any other physical function. I had got myself into +the habit of eating large quantities of food. Also, I had accustomed my +system to certain amounts of alcohol. I was organized on that +basis--fatly and flabbily organized, to be sure, but organized just the +same. Now, then, when I arbitrarily cut down the amount of food and +drink for which my system was organized that entire system rose up in +active revolt and yelled for what it had been accustomed to get. There +wasn't a minute for more than three months when I wasn't hungry, actually +hungry for food; when the sight of food did not excite me and when I did +not have a physical longing and appetite for food; when my stomach did +not seem to demand it and my palate howl for it. It was different with +the drinking. I got over that desire rather promptly, but with a +struggle, at that; but the food-yearn was there for weeks and weeks, and +it was a fight--a bitter, bitter fight! + +When I went to the table and saw the good things on it, and knew I +intended only to eat small portions of them, especially of my favorite +desserts and my beloved hot-bread, I simply had to grip the sides of my +chair and use all the will-power I had to keep from reaching out and +grabbing something and stuffing it into my mouth! My friends used to +think it was all a joke. It was farther from being a joke than anything +you ever heard about. It was a tragedy--a grim, relentless tragedy! It +was acute physical suffering. My body cried out for that same amount of +food I had been giving it all those years. I wanted to give it that same +amount. I have had to leave the table time and time again to get hold of +myself and go back to the smaller portions I had allotted to myself. I +liked to eat, you know. + +Nothing much happened for a few weeks, though the waistband of my +trousers grew looser. Then a lot of excess baggage seemed to drop away +all at once. I weighed myself and found I had taken off twenty-five +pounds. Friends told me to quit--that I should overdo it. I laughed at +them. I knew I was still twenty-five pounds too heavy and I was just +getting into my stride. It is strange how men, and especially fat men, +who haven't the nerve to reduce themselves, think a man must be sick if +he takes off flesh. I knew I wasn't sick. Indeed, I was just beginning +to get well. + +By the end of three months I had taken off thirty-five pounds. It was +coming off well, too. My face wasn't haggard or wrinkled. I looked fit. +My eye was clear and my double chin had disappeared. Also, I had +conquered my fight with my appetite. I had won out. I was satisfied +with the smaller quantities of food and I felt better than I had in +twenty years--stronger, fitter--and was better, mentally and physically. +After that it was a cinch. I kept along, eating everything on the +bill-of-fare, but in small quantities. I didn't vary my diet a bit, +except for the eggs at breakfast. If I wanted pie I ate a small piece. +If I wanted ice cream I ate a small dish. If I wanted pudding I ate some +of that. I ate fat meat and lean meat and spaghetti, and everything else +interdicted by the reduction dietists--only in small quantities! And I +kept on getting smaller and smaller. + +The fat came off from everywhere. I had been incased with it apparently. +My waist decreased seven inches. A big layer of fat came off my chest +and abdomen. My legs and arms grew smaller but harder. Even my fingers +grew smaller. My excess of chin evaporated. And at the end of the fifth +month I had taken off fifty-five pounds. I weighed then one hundred and +ninety-five pounds, which is what I weigh today. + +Every person, I take it, has a normal weight; and if that person gives +his body a chance, and ill health does not intervene, the body will find +that normal and stay there. I take it that my normal weight, on account +of my big frame and bones, is about one hundred and ninety-five pounds, +at the age of forty-three. At any rate, it has stayed at a hundred and +ninety-five since the first of last July, and in that time I have loafed +for two months and ridden on Pullman cars for two other months, and have +not taken any exercise to speak of; but I have maintained my schedule of +eating and I have not taken any alcohol. I figure I can stay where I am +indefinitely on that program--and that is my program indefinitely. + +There are certain economic phases of a campaign of this kind that should +be mentioned. It is expensive. Not one item of clothing, save my hat, +socks and shoes, which fitted me last January is of the slightest use to +me now. I didn't get to cutting down clothes until I was sure I would +stick. Since that time the tailors have had a picnic at my expense. My +shirts were too big. Instead of wearing a seventeen-and-three-quarters +collar, I now wear a sixteen-and-three-quarters. My waist is seven +inches smaller. I even had to have a seal ring I wear cut down so it +would not slip off my finger. While in the transition stage I looked +like a scarecrow. My clothes hung on me like bags. + +Since I have had my clothes re-made and new ones constructed I am an +object of continual comment among my friends. They all marvel at my +changed appearance. They are all solicitous about my health. They do +not see how a man can take off more than fifty pounds and not hurt +himself. I do not see how he can keep it on and not kill himself. They +tell me I look like a boy--and I feel like one. I'm as active as I was +twenty years ago. When I was in the mountains this summer, at an +altitude of seventy-five hundred feet, I could climb slopes with no +exhaustion that I couldn't have gone fifteen feet up the year before. My +mind is clearer; my body is better. I figure I have added a good many +years to my life. + +And all this time I have had everything I wanted to eat, but not all I +wanted to eat until I got myself readjusted to the new system. I missed +the alcohol at first, but that is all over now. It was a part of the +game and I used to think a necessary part. I have cured myself of that +delusion. If there is a thing on earth the matter with me the ablest +doctors in this country can't find out what it is. I am a rejuvenated, +reconstructed person, no longer fat, aged forty-three--and the White +Man's Hope! + +As to the exercise end of it, there wasn't any exercise end. It happened +that I met a man last March, when I was in the first throes of this +campaign, who had made some study of the human body. I liked him because +he was modest about what he knew, and not a faddist. We talked about +exercise. He told me one thing that stuck. He said: "Walk a little +every day. If you have half an hour walk a mile. If you have an hour +walk two miles. Don't try to see how many miles you can walk in the +half-hour or the hour, but take your time. Look at things as you go +along. Be leisurely about it. When a man goes out for a walk and walks +as hard as he can or does anything else in the shape of exercise as hard +as he can he is subjecting himself to just as much nerve strain as he can +subject himself to in any other way. Be calm about your walking, or +whatever else you do." + +Formerly it had been my custom to plug out after breakfast and gallop +three or four miles as hard as I could and then go to work. I cut that +out. I walked an easy, leisurely mile or two miles, looking at the trees +and flowers and watching the people and looking into shop windows, and I +got a lot of good out of it. Then it grew hot, and I cut my walking to +half a mile or so down to my office in the morning and back at night. +Occasionally, after dinner, I would walk a couple of miles. This summer +I went fishing and tramped about some, but not much. In reality, I had +no scheme of exercise, and I took little. I didn't need it. I didn't +have masses of food and drink in me to be burned up. I was normal. + +As I said, I suppose all this is absurdly unscientific--and I don't give +a hoot if it is. It worked for me. I don't know whether it will work +for any other person on this earth. Nor do I care. If you want to try +it on, provided you are fat, here are the specifications: I assume it is +an axiom that we all eat too much. I know I did--about sixty per cent +too much. Still, I guarantee nothing. I make no claims. I have set +down the facts; and the only warning, advice or admonition I have to give +is that any person who makes up his mind to try this method and thinks he +isn't in for the hardest struggle of his life would do well not to try. +This isn't a frolic. It's a fight. + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FUN OF GETTING THIN*** + + +******* This file should be named 14743.txt or 14743.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/4/7/4/14743 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. 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