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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14743 ***
+
+THE FUN OF GETTING THIN
+
+How To Be Happy and Reduce the Waist Line
+
+by
+
+SAMUEL G. BLYTHE
+
+Author of "Cutting It Out"
+
+Chicago
+Forbes & Company
+
+1912
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+    CHAPTER
+
+      I. Fat
+
+     II. The So-Called Cures
+
+    III. Facing the Tissue
+
+
+
+
+THE FUN OF GETTING THIN
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+FAT
+
+A fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes--one on herself and
+the other on her husband.  Half the comedy in the world is predicated
+on the paunch.  At that, the human race is divided into but two
+classes--fat people who are trying to get thin and thin people who are
+trying to get fat.
+
+Fat, the doctors say, is fatal.  I move to amend by striking out the
+last two letters of the indictment.  Fat is fat.  It isn't any more
+fatal to be reasonably fat than to be reasonably thin, but it's a
+darned sight more uncomfortable.  So far as being unreasonably thin or
+unreasonably fat is concerned, I suppose the thin person has the long
+end of it.  I never was thin, so I don't know.  However, I have been
+fat--notice that "have been"?  And if there is any phase of human
+enjoyment, any part of life, any occupation, avocation, divertisement,
+pleasure or pain where the fat man has the better of it in any regard,
+I failed to discover it in the twenty years during which I looked like
+the rear end of a hack and had all the bodily characteristics of a bale
+of hay.
+
+When you come to examine into the actuating motives for any line of
+human endeavor you will find that vanity figures about ninety per cent,
+directly or indirectly, in the assay.  The personal equation is the
+ruling equation.  Women want to be thinner because they will look
+better--and so do men.  Likewise, women want to be plumper because they
+will look better--and so do men.  This holds up to forty years.  After
+that it doesn't make much difference whether either men or women look
+any better than they have been looking, so far as the great end and aim
+of all life is concerned.  Consequently fat men and fat women after
+forty want to be thinner for reasons of health and comfort, or quit and
+resign themselves to their further years of obesity.
+
+Now I am over forty.  Hence my experiments in reduction may be taken at
+this time as grounded on a desire for comfort--not that I did not make
+many campaigns against my fat before I was forty.  I fought it now and
+then, but always retreated before I won a victory.  This time, instead
+of skirmishing valiantly for a space and then being ignominiously and
+fatly routed by the powerful forces of food and drink, I hung stolidly
+to the line of my original attack, harassed the enemy by a constant and
+deadly fire--and one morning discovered I had the foe on the run.
+
+It always makes me laugh to hear people talk about losing
+flesh--unless, of course, the decrease in weight is due to illness.  No
+healthy person, predisposed to fat, ever lost any flesh.  If that
+person gets rid of any weight, or girth, or fat, it isn't lost--it is
+fought off, beaten off.  The victim struggles with it, goes to the mat
+with it, and does not debonairly drop it.  He eliminates it with stern
+effort and much travail of the spirit.  It is a job of work, a grueling
+combat to the finish, a task that appalls and usually repels.
+
+The theory of taking off fat is the simplest theory in the world.  It
+is announced, in four words: Stop eating and drinking.  The practice of
+fat reduction is the most difficult thing in the world.  Its
+difficulties are comprehended in two words: You cannot.  The flesh is
+willing, but the spirit is weak.  The success of the undertaking lies
+in the triumph of the will over the appetite.  There's a lovely line of
+cant for you!  Triumph of the will over the appetite.  It sounds like
+the preaching of a professional food faddist, who tells the people they
+eat too much and then slips away and wolfs down four pounds of
+beefsteak at a sitting.  However, I suppose it is necessary to say this
+once in a dissertation like this--and it is said.
+
+In writing about this successful experiment of mine in reducing weight
+I have no theories to advance except one, and no instructions to give.
+I don't know whether my method would take an ounce off any other person
+in the world, and I don't care.  I only know it took more than fifty
+pounds off me.  I am not advancing any argument, medicinal or
+otherwise, for my plan.  I never talked to a doctor about it, and never
+shall.  If there are fat men and fat women who are fat for the same
+reasons I was fat I suppose they can get thin the way I got thin.  If
+they are fat for other reasons I suppose they cannot.  I don't know
+about either proposition.
+
+I have great respect for doctors--so much respect, in fact, that I keep
+diligently away from them.  I know the preliminaries of their game and
+can take a dose of medicine myself as skillfully as they can administer
+it.  Also, I know when I have a fever, and have a working knowledge of
+how my heart should beat and my other bodily functions be performed.  I
+have frequently found that a prescription, unintelligibly written but
+looking very wise, is highly efficacious when folded carefully and put
+in the pocketbook instead of being deposited with a druggist.  I
+suppose that comes from a sort of hereditary faith in amulets.  No
+doubt the method would be even more efficacious if the prescription
+were tied on a string and hung around the neck.  I shall try that some
+time when my wife lugs in a doctor on me.
+
+Still, doctors are interesting as a class.  After you get beyond the
+let-me-feel-your-pulse-and-see-your-tongue preliminaries they are
+versatile and ingenious.  Almost always, after you tell them what is
+the matter with you, they will know--not every time, but frequently.
+Also, they will take any sort of a chance with you in the interest of
+science.  However, they generally send out for a specialist when they
+are ill themselves.  When you come to think of it that is but natural.
+Almost any man, whether professional or not, will take a chance with
+somebody else that he wouldn't quite go through with on himself.
+Besides, doctors treat comparative strangers for the most part, and the
+interests of science are to be conserved.
+
+Almost any doctor can tell you how to get thin.  To be sure, no doctor
+will tell you to do the same things any other doctor prescribes, but it
+all simmers down to the same thing: Cut out the starchy foods and
+sweets, and take exercise.  Also: Don't drink alcohol.  The variations
+that can be played on this simple theme by a skillful doctor are
+endless.  When a real specialist in fat reduction gets hold of you--a
+real, earnest reducer--he can contrive a diet that would make a living
+skeleton thin--and likewise put him in his little grave.  I have had
+diets handed to me that would starve a humming-bird, and diets that
+would put flesh on a bronze statue; and all to the same end--reduction.
+Science has been monkeying with nourishment for the past ten or fifteen
+years to the exclusion of many other branches of research; and about
+all that has happened to the nourishment is the large elimination of
+nutriment from it.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+THE SO-CALLED CURES
+
+Broadly speaking, the methods of fat reduction most in vogue are
+divided into four classes--mechanical, physical, medicinal and dietary.
+The first two are not worth considering by a man who has anything else
+to do.  I do not doubt that a man who could devote his whole time to
+the work could, by means of some of the appliances offered--from the
+apparatus in a gymnasium to rubber shirts, get off fat--nor do I doubt
+the efficacy of exercise and its accompaniments in the way of sweating
+and baths and all that; but when a person has a living to make these
+methods are useless, not through any demerit of their own but because
+the man who is fat hasn't the time or opportunity and, more than all,
+soon fails in the inclination to use them.
+
+If you can tell me anything more ghastly than taking a system of canned
+exercises in the morning or at night in one's bedroom or bathroom, or
+elsewhere, with no other incentive than some physical gain that, when
+you come to sum it up, is largely fictitious in value--or comes
+inevitably to be thought so--I would like to have you step forward and
+name it.  I have been all through that phase of it, and I know; and I
+also know by heart the patter of the persons who recommend it.
+Further, I know the person round the forties doesn't live who enjoys
+this sort of thing--no matter what he says about it; and without
+enjoyment exercise is of no use or worse than useless.  It can be done,
+of course; and lumps of muscle can be stuck on almost any part of the
+body--but what's the use to the person who has to make a living?  Then,
+too, I am speaking now of methods that can be used by men and women who
+are no longer young.  A young man can and will do stunts in physical
+culture that an older man cannot do, either satisfactorily or
+comfortably.
+
+So far as the medicinal or drug method of fat reduction is concerned,
+any fat man or woman who takes drugs to reduce flesh, or to help,
+deserves all that he or she will get--and that will be plenty.  There's
+no need of saying anything further on that subject.  Then there remains
+the dietary method--the old familiar friend, diet.  Starting with
+William Banting--maybe it didn't start with William, but before
+him--but, starting with Bill for present purposes, there have been more
+systems of diet invented and promulgated than there have been systems
+of religion--and that means about one in every hundred has evolved a
+system.
+
+You can get them of all sorts and all sure to do the work, ranging from
+an exclusive diet of beefsteak and spinach to desiccated hay and
+creamed alfalfa.  There are monodiets,  duodiets,  vegetable diets,
+fruit diets, nut diets--all kinds of diets--each guaranteed to take off
+flesh if you have too much or to put it on if you have too little.
+Basically, however, the antiflesh diets are about the same.  You are
+told to cut out everything you want to eat and exist on triply toasted
+bread and the white meat of a chicken, or string beans and sawdust, or
+any other combination the sharps say will not produce fat, but will
+sustain life in a lingering form.  They surround these diet talks and
+presentments with a lot of frills about proteins and calories and all
+that sort of guff, and make it as difficult as possible.  Now, mark
+you, I am not saying diet--scientific diet--is not a good thing, a
+magnificent step forward in the progress of this world; but I am saying
+that the average fat-reducing diet is impossible to any but a man or
+woman of the ultimate will-power, and is a hardship that need not be
+endured.  I have tried these diets, and I know!  They may help reduce
+flesh, but they are not easy to follow and they do not contain things
+that any person wants to eat or is accustomed to eat, or will eat, to
+the exclusion of things that person does want to eat and will eat.  It
+can be done.  One of these diets can be followed if the will-power is
+there, and the flesh will come off; but the method does not conduce to
+the best results--the physical force is reduced, and there is a much
+easier way.
+
+I have one of these diet lists before me now from the highest-priced
+flesh-reducing specialist in the world, who claims to have taken
+mountains of flesh off mountainous men.  In the beginning, for example,
+it says: "You will understand, of course, that sugar is entirely
+debarred.  Also, that fats, milk, cheese, cream, eggs, and so on, are
+cut off for the time being.  Also that bread and farinaceous foods are
+all cut off.  In place of bread or toast you must use gluten biscuits."
+For breakfast, in this dietary, one or two gluten biscuits are allowed
+and a cup of unsweetened coffee.  Also, six ounces of lean grilled
+steak, chops or chicken, and any white fish--or the whites of two eggs.
+
+This is about the layout for luncheon and dinner.  It is all about as
+exciting and appetizing as that.  The proposition is, of course, that
+you are not taking food which will make fat and you must, therefore,
+inevitably lose flesh.  So far so good; but the difficulty is not in
+the system, but in the hardship of carrying it out.  You can't have
+anything to eat that you want to eat.  You torture yourself for a space
+and lose some flesh; then when you do go back to your normal method of
+eating the flesh comes galloping back--and there you are!  It is the
+same with exercise.  You can take off fat by exercise; but, once you
+begin, you are doomed to everlasting exercise, for the minute you stop
+back comes the fat--and more of it than you had before you began to
+reduce.
+
+It is a tough game, anyway you play it, if you are disposed to be fat.
+No man living, who isn't a freak, can persist always in one diet.  Nor
+can any man who has anything else on his mind be always
+exercising--especially after he has reached forty years of age, when
+there are so many better things to do and time is valuable, and the
+real idea of how to live has just begun to percolate.  Also, until one
+is forty, if reasonably healthy, flesh is a joke, and not so much of a
+burden as it becomes later.  I haven't a thing in the world against any
+or all of these methods.  I have tried most of them and know most of
+them are bogus; but I am not trying to dissuade any person from taking
+off fat in any way that suits any individual fancy or the fancy of any
+reducer into whose hands the victim may have fallen.  If you have a
+good method go to it--and more power to you!
+
+My idea is this: I am setting down here a record of my own experiences,
+and that is all.  Every person who does not like what I have to say is
+cheerfully advised to lump it.  Any person who is as fat as I was and
+who wants to get thinner is at liberty to follow my method.  If
+circumstances are similar results will be similar.  If not there will
+be no results.  I am not advising or urging or putting forth any
+propaganda.  Here is what happened.  It may suit you or it may not.
+Either way I am indifferent.  In the words of the coon song: "I've got
+mine!"
+
+I hope I make myself clear.  I have no mission or message or any
+flubdub of that kind.  I am not one of those boys who urge you to do
+this for your own good.  I have read a ton of literature put out by
+persons who found something that agreed with them and immediately
+started out to reform the world along that line.  Your reformer,
+anyhow, is a person who wants all the rest of the world to do as he
+wants the rest of the world to do, not as the rest of the world wants
+to do.  And the reason reformers get past so numerously is because our
+society is so constituted that we spend every one of our brief years
+doing what other people want us to do and tell us to do, and never do
+anything we ourselves want to do.  Once I got seventeen pounds of books
+telling that the only way to cure everything was to fast.  I knew a man
+who tried that.  The results were grand.  He fasted a long time and
+cured himself of what ailed him.  Only, unfortunately, just before the
+last vestige of disease was removed the fasting killed him.  I contend
+that man might just as well have died of what ailed him originally as
+to cure that disease and die of the cure.  It seems to me it is as
+broad as it is long.
+
+However, have at this fat-reduction process of mine!  You must bear
+with a few personal reminiscences.  I was a big, husky brute of a
+boy--thick-chested, broad-shouldered, country-bred and with an appetite
+that knew no bounds.  After I got going at my business, when I was
+twenty-five or so, I was pinned down to a desk for about ten years.  I
+worked hard in a most exacting place.  I was so healthy it hurt.  I had
+just as much appetite for food as I had ever had; but I didn't get a
+chance to bat around as I had been accustomed to do and burn up that
+food.  The result was inevitable.  I began to get fat.  I had a big
+chest--forty-six inches--and the fat filled in underneath.  That big
+chest, combined with my broad shoulders, concealed the size of my
+paunch, and I didn't realize I was accumulating that paunch until it
+was soldered, riveted, lashed, glued, nailed and otherwise fastened to
+me.
+
+When I got my growth I weighed about one hundred and eighty-five pounds
+and was a pretty formidable physical proposition.  When I woke up to
+the fact that I was getting fat I found I weighed two hundred and
+twenty pounds.  That extra thirty-five pounds was mostly fat--excess
+baggage.  Still, it didn't bother me any.  I had the strength to tote
+it round and had the shoulders and the chest to conceal it.  I didn't
+show any bay window, as most fat men do.  As they used to say: "You're
+big all over.  You carry it all right."
+
+All this time I was eating three or four times a day and eating
+everything that came my way.  Also, I drank some--not excessively, but
+some whisky and some beer, and occasionally some wine and
+cocktails--about the average amount of drinking the average man does.
+I thought I was getting too fat, and I wrestled with a bicycle all one
+summer, taking long rides and plugging round a good deal.  I did some
+centuries, but continued eating like a horse--naturally because of the
+outdoor exercise--and drank a good deal of beer.  As will be seen, all
+the fat I had was legitimate enough.  I put it on myself.  There was no
+hereditary nonsense about it.  I was responsible for every ounce of it.
+The net result of that summer's bicycle campaign was a gain of five
+pounds in weight.  I was harder--but I was fatter, too.
+
+When I was thirty-five I began to experiment.  I then weighed two
+hundred and twenty-five pounds.  I went to the canned-exercise, the
+physical-torture professor, the diet, the salts, and all the rest of
+it, taking off a few pounds but putting it all back again--and more--as
+soon as I stopped.
+
+These attempts numbered about two a year.  Between times I ate as I
+wanted to and drank as I pleased.  Things ran along until the first of
+January, 1911.  I knew I was getting fatter, for my tailor told me so
+and my belts and old clothes all proved it.  Still, I didn't bother
+much.  I thought I was lingering round about two hundred and
+thirty-five--too much, of course; but I got away with it pretty well,
+except in hot weather and when I went up in the high mountains, and I
+was reasonably content.  I was fat, all right.  My waist was only two
+inches smaller than my chest and that meant my waist was forty-four
+inches in girth.  As a matter of fact, being scant five feet ten and a
+half, I was bigger than a house; but I deluded myself with that stuff
+about my broad shoulders and my deep chest, and thought it didn't show.
+It did show, of course.  I was a fat man--a big fat man--carrying forty
+pounds or more of excess weight.
+
+I had dieted and quit; exercised and quit; gone on the waterwagon and
+fallen off; had fussed round a good deal, spending a lot of money in
+the attempt, and I was getting fatter all the time.  I hated to admit
+that fact.  I tried to fool myself into the conviction that I wasn't
+getting any larger--and all the time I knew I was.  I even went so far
+as to stop getting on the scales; and when anybody--as almost everybody
+did--said, "Why, you're getting bigger, ain't you?"  I always replied:
+"No, I think not.  I stick along about two hundred and thirty-five
+pounds."
+
+A year ago last summer I went up into the mountains, where I usually go
+for my fun.  I had noticed a shortness of breath and a wheeziness in
+previous summers, and had felt my heart pounding pretty hard; but that
+summer I noticed these things acutely.  I couldn't get any air to
+breathe.  My heart pounded like a pneumatic riveter.  Any little
+exercise tired me; and when in the lowlands in hot weather I was the
+perspiring marvel and the most uncomfortable as well as the sloppiest
+person you ever saw.  It was fierce!
+
+I was doing a good deal of walking in those days--had to burn up the
+fuel I was taking into my body.  Also, I noticed it was mighty hard to
+keep awake after dinner unless I got out into the air and kept moving.
+I felt well enough and the doctors said I was organically all right.  I
+kept informed on those points--but I was fat!  Also, though I lied to
+myself, I knew I was getting fatter.
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+FACING THE TISSUE
+
+On New Year's Day, 1911, I weighed myself.  I don't know why, for I
+hadn't been on a scale for two or three years.  I set the weight at two
+hundred and thirty-five and it bounded up like a rubber ball; so I shoved
+it along to two hundred and forty and it still stayed up in the air.
+When I got a balance I found I weighed two hundred and forty-seven
+pounds.  I was amazed!  Also, I was scared; for it instantly occurred to
+me that if I had gone up to two hundred and forty-seven in two or three
+years from two hundred and thirty-five I should keep on going up if my
+manner of living didn't change--and that presently I should weigh three
+hundred!
+
+That two hundred and forty-seven pounds was a facer.  I was forced to
+admit to myself that I was fat, disgustingly fat--too fat; and that I
+should get fatter!  So I sat down and looked the situation in the eye.  I
+recounted all my former efforts to get thin and discarded them one by
+one.  I knew myself, and knew the ordinary diet proposition and the
+ordinary exercise proposition were not for me.  I knew I was wheezy and
+that my heart was getting choked with fat; that there were great folds of
+it on me, and that it was up to me to get rid of it or quit and wait for
+the inevitable end.  If it kept on I knew I should blow up some fine day.
+Besides, I was uric-acidy, rheumatic and stertorous and clumsy.  I had
+about fifty or sixty pounds of poisonous junk wrapped round me, and I
+knew I should suffer for it in the end, though I didn't feel it much and
+carried it with a fair assumption of lightness.
+
+I was not an amateur at the game.  I had been through the mill.  I spent
+several days in going over the whole matter.  It was reasonably simple,
+too, and needn't have taken so much of my time; but I was protecting
+myself, you see, gold-bricking myself--trying to find a way out that
+would not deprive me of things I liked to do, of pleasures I wanted to
+enjoy.  It was pure selfishness that dominated me and made me do so much
+figuring on a proposition I knew was contained in a sentence; but I did
+fight to hang on to the old way of living.
+
+After each session of false logic and selfish hypothesis I invariably
+came back to the same proposition, which is the only proposition--and
+that was: What makes fat?  Food and drink.  How can you reduce fat?  By
+reducing the amount of food and drink--that is all there is or was to it.
+The only way to get rid of the effects of overeating and overdrinking is
+to stop overeating and overdrinking.
+
+I went over my food habit.  I was accustomed to eating a big hired-man's
+breakfast--fruit, coffee, eggs, waffles, hot bread, sausage, anything
+that came along; and I heaved in a lot of it--not a little--a lot!  I
+didn't eat so much at luncheon, but I ate plenty; and at night I simply
+cleaned up the table.  I wasn't so strong on sweets and pastry, because I
+usually drank a few highballs during the day, and highballs and cocktails
+and sweets do not go well together--that is, the man who takes alcohol
+into his system usually does not care for sweets.  Beer was one of my
+long suits too--Pilsner beer.  I did like that!
+
+I looked this food habit squarely in the face.  I impaled the drink habit
+with my glittering eye.  I knew I was eating about sixty per cent more
+than I needed or could use, and that I was drinking a hundred per cent
+more.  I knew that nothing makes fat but food and drink.  I knew excess
+of food will make any animal fat and I saw I had been eating freely of
+the most fattening kinds of food.  I knew beer and liquor were made of
+grain, and that grain is used to fatten steers and cows and pigs.  I
+refused to adopt a diet like any of those unpalatable ones I had
+experimented with, but the remedy was as plain as the cause.  It was
+simple enough if I had the nerve to go through with it.
+
+Inasmuch as an excess of food and drink make an excess of fat, it follows
+that the reduction in the amount of food will stop that fat-forming and
+give the body a chance to burn up the excess fat already formed.  That
+was my conclusion.  Mind you, I reached that conclusion before I made any
+of my arguments; but I didn't want to admit it as reasonable or logical,
+for I hated to give up the pleasures of the table and the sociability
+that came with the sort of drinking I did.  I was trying to find a way
+out that would be easy and comfortable.  And all the time I was getting
+fatter!  The scales told me that.
+
+This backing and filling and argument with myself lasted all through
+January and part of February.  It took me six weeks to get myself into
+the frame of mind where I admitted the truth of my conclusion.  I was no
+hero.  I didn't want to do it.  I loved it all too well.  I was as rank a
+coward in the beginning as you ever saw!  It appalled me to think of
+restricting myself in any way, for I liked the pleasures that I knew I
+must forego.  However, when I got up to two hundred and fifty pounds I
+sat down and had it out with myself.
+
+"Here!" I said to myself.  "You big stuff, you now weigh two hundred and
+fifty pounds!  In another year or two you will weigh two hundred and
+seventy-five pounds!  You are uncomfortable and heavy on your feet, and
+you are gouty and wheezy; and it's a cinch you'll die in a few years if
+you keep on this way.  You know all this fat is caused by an excess of
+food and drink, and you know it can be taken off by a reduction in those
+fatmakers.  Are you going to stick round here so fat you are a joke,
+uncomfortable, miserable when it's hot, in your own way and in the way of
+everybody else, when, if you've got the will-power of a chickadee, you
+can get back to reasonable proportions and comfort merely by denying
+yourself things you do not need?"
+
+All the old arguments obtruded.  See what I should lose!  Life would be a
+dull and dreary affair--a dun, dismal proposition.  I admitted that.  On
+the other hand, however, life would not be a wheezy, sweaty,
+choked-heart, uncomfortable proposition.  I finally decided I would go to
+it.  And I did.
+
+My method may be utterly unscientific.  I suppose it hasn't a scientific
+leg to stand on.  Still, it did the business.  And I maintain that
+results are what we are looking for.  The end justifies the means.  I
+didn't figure out a diet.  I had a dozen of them at home that had cost me
+all the way from two dollars to two hundred and fifty dollars each.  I
+didn't buy a system of exercise.  I read no books and consulted no
+doctors.  What I did was this: I cut down the amount of food I ate sixty
+per cent and I cut out alcohol altogether!  I carried out my argument to
+its logical conclusion so far as it concerned myself.  I didn't give a
+hoot whether it would help or hurt or concern any other person in the
+world.  It was my body I was experimenting on, and I did what I
+dad-blamed pleased and asked no advice--nor took any.
+
+Instead of a hot-bread--I have the greatest hot-bread artist in the world
+at my house, bar none!--waffle, sausage, kidney-stew, lamb-chop,
+fried-egg and so forth sort of breakfast, I cut that meal down to some
+fruit, a couple of pieces of dry, hard toast, two boiled eggs and coffee.
+I cut out the luncheon altogether.  No more luncheon for me!  I cut down
+my dinners to about forty per cent of what I had been eating.  I
+diminished the quantity, but not the variety.  I ate everything that came
+along, but I didn't eat so much or half so much.  Instead of two slices
+of roast beef, for example, I ate only one small slice.  Instead of two
+baked or browned potatoes, I ate only half of one.  Instead of three or
+four slices of bread, I ate only one.  I didn't deprive myself of a
+single thing I liked, but I cut the quantity away down.  And I quit
+drinking alcohol absolutely.
+
+What happened?  This is what happened: Eating food is just as much a
+habit as breathing or any other physical function.  I had got myself into
+the habit of eating large quantities of food.  Also, I had accustomed my
+system to certain amounts of alcohol.  I was organized on that
+basis--fatly and flabbily organized, to be sure, but organized just the
+same.  Now, then, when I arbitrarily cut down the amount of food and
+drink for which my system was organized that entire system rose up in
+active revolt and yelled for what it had been accustomed to get.  There
+wasn't a minute for more than three months when I wasn't hungry, actually
+hungry for food; when the sight of food did not excite me and when I did
+not have a physical longing and appetite for food; when my stomach did
+not seem to demand it and my palate howl for it.  It was different with
+the drinking.  I got over that desire rather promptly, but with a
+struggle, at that; but the food-yearn was there for weeks and weeks, and
+it was a fight--a bitter, bitter fight!
+
+When I went to the table and saw the good things on it, and knew I
+intended only to eat small portions of them, especially of my favorite
+desserts and my beloved hot-bread, I simply had to grip the sides of my
+chair and use all the will-power I had to keep from reaching out and
+grabbing something and stuffing it into my mouth!  My friends used to
+think it was all a joke.  It was farther from being a joke than anything
+you ever heard about.  It was a tragedy--a grim, relentless tragedy!  It
+was acute physical suffering.  My body cried out for that same amount of
+food I had been giving it all those years.  I wanted to give it that same
+amount.  I have had to leave the table time and time again to get hold of
+myself and go back to the smaller portions I had allotted to myself.  I
+liked to eat, you know.
+
+Nothing much happened for a few weeks, though the waistband of my
+trousers grew looser.  Then a lot of excess baggage seemed to drop away
+all at once.  I weighed myself and found I had taken off twenty-five
+pounds.  Friends told me to quit--that I should overdo it.  I laughed at
+them.  I knew I was still twenty-five pounds too heavy and I was just
+getting into my stride.  It is strange how men, and especially fat men,
+who haven't the nerve to reduce themselves, think a man must be sick if
+he takes off flesh.  I knew I wasn't sick.  Indeed, I was just beginning
+to get well.
+
+By the end of three months I had taken off thirty-five pounds.  It was
+coming off well, too.  My face wasn't haggard or wrinkled.  I looked fit.
+My eye was clear and my double chin had disappeared.  Also, I had
+conquered my fight with my appetite.  I had won out.  I was satisfied
+with the smaller quantities of food and I felt better than I had in
+twenty years--stronger, fitter--and was better, mentally and physically.
+After that it was a cinch.  I kept along, eating everything on the
+bill-of-fare, but in small quantities.  I didn't vary my diet a bit,
+except for the eggs at breakfast.  If I wanted pie I ate a small piece.
+If I wanted ice cream I ate a small dish.  If I wanted pudding I ate some
+of that.  I ate fat meat and lean meat and spaghetti, and everything else
+interdicted by the reduction dietists--only in small quantities!  And I
+kept on getting smaller and smaller.
+
+The fat came off from everywhere.  I had been incased with it apparently.
+My waist decreased seven inches.  A big layer of fat came off my chest
+and abdomen.  My legs and arms grew smaller but harder.  Even my fingers
+grew smaller.  My excess of chin evaporated.  And at the end of the fifth
+month I had taken off fifty-five pounds.  I weighed then one hundred and
+ninety-five pounds, which is what I weigh today.
+
+Every person, I take it, has a normal weight; and if that person gives
+his body a chance, and ill health does not intervene, the body will find
+that normal and stay there.  I take it that my normal weight, on account
+of my big frame and bones, is about one hundred and ninety-five pounds,
+at the age of forty-three.  At any rate, it has stayed at a hundred and
+ninety-five since the first of last July, and in that time I have loafed
+for two months and ridden on Pullman cars for two other months, and have
+not taken any exercise to speak of; but I have maintained my schedule of
+eating and I have not taken any alcohol.  I figure I can stay where I am
+indefinitely on that program--and that is my program indefinitely.
+
+There are certain economic phases of a campaign of this kind that should
+be mentioned.  It is expensive.  Not one item of clothing, save my hat,
+socks and shoes, which fitted me last January is of the slightest use to
+me now.  I didn't get to cutting down clothes until I was sure I would
+stick.  Since that time the tailors have had a picnic at my expense.  My
+shirts were too big.  Instead of wearing a seventeen-and-three-quarters
+collar, I now wear a sixteen-and-three-quarters.  My waist is seven
+inches smaller.  I even had to have a seal ring I wear cut down so it
+would not slip off my finger.  While in the transition stage I looked
+like a scarecrow.  My clothes hung on me like bags.
+
+Since I have had my clothes re-made and new ones constructed I am an
+object of continual comment among my friends.  They all marvel at my
+changed appearance.  They are all solicitous about my health.  They do
+not see how a man can take off more than fifty pounds and not hurt
+himself.  I do not see how he can keep it on and not kill himself.  They
+tell me I look like a boy--and I feel like one.  I'm as active as I was
+twenty years ago.  When I was in the mountains this summer, at an
+altitude of seventy-five hundred feet, I could climb slopes with no
+exhaustion that I couldn't have gone fifteen feet up the year before.  My
+mind is clearer; my body is better.  I figure I have added a good many
+years to my life.
+
+And all this time I have had everything I wanted to eat, but not all I
+wanted to eat until I got myself readjusted to the new system.  I missed
+the alcohol at first, but that is all over now.  It was a part of the
+game and I used to think a necessary part.  I have cured myself of that
+delusion.  If there is a thing on earth the matter with me the ablest
+doctors in this country can't find out what it is.  I am a rejuvenated,
+reconstructed person, no longer fat, aged forty-three--and the White
+Man's Hope!
+
+As to the exercise end of it, there wasn't any exercise end.  It happened
+that I met a man last March, when I was in the first throes of this
+campaign, who had made some study of the human body.  I liked him because
+he was modest about what he knew, and not a faddist.  We talked about
+exercise.  He told me one thing that stuck.  He said: "Walk a little
+every day.  If you have half an hour walk a mile.  If you have an hour
+walk two miles.  Don't try to see how many miles you can walk in the
+half-hour or the hour, but take your time.  Look at things as you go
+along.  Be leisurely about it.  When a man goes out for a walk and walks
+as hard as he can or does anything else in the shape of exercise as hard
+as he can he is subjecting himself to just as much nerve strain as he can
+subject himself to in any other way.  Be calm about your walking, or
+whatever else you do."
+
+Formerly it had been my custom to plug out after breakfast and gallop
+three or four miles as hard as I could and then go to work.  I cut that
+out.  I walked an easy, leisurely mile or two miles, looking at the trees
+and flowers and watching the people and looking into shop windows, and I
+got a lot of good out of it.  Then it grew hot, and I cut my walking to
+half a mile or so down to my office in the morning and back at night.
+Occasionally, after dinner, I would walk a couple of miles.  This summer
+I went fishing and tramped about some, but not much.  In reality, I had
+no scheme of exercise, and I took little.  I didn't need it.  I didn't
+have masses of food and drink in me to be burned up.  I was normal.
+
+As I said, I suppose all this is absurdly unscientific--and I don't give
+a hoot if it is.  It worked for me.  I don't know whether it will work
+for any other person on this earth.  Nor do I care.  If you want to try
+it on, provided you are fat, here are the specifications: I assume it is
+an axiom that we all eat too much.  I know I did--about sixty per cent
+too much.  Still, I guarantee nothing.  I make no claims.  I have set
+down the facts; and the only warning, advice or admonition I have to give
+is that any person who makes up his mind to try this method and thinks he
+isn't in for the hardest struggle of his life would do well not to try.
+This isn't a frolic.  It's a fight.
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14743 ***
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #14743 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/14743)
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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Fun of Getting Thin, by Samuel G. Blythe
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Fun of Getting Thin
+
+Author: Samuel G. Blythe
+
+Release Date: January 20, 2005  [eBook #14743]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII)
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FUN OF GETTING THIN***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Al Haines
+
+
+
+THE FUN OF GETTING THIN
+
+How To Be Happy and Reduce the Waist Line
+
+by
+
+SAMUEL G. BLYTHE
+
+Author of "Cutting It Out"
+
+Chicago
+Forbes & Company
+
+1912
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+CONTENTS
+
+    CHAPTER
+
+      I. Fat
+
+     II. The So-Called Cures
+
+    III. Facing the Tissue
+
+
+
+
+THE FUN OF GETTING THIN
+
+
+CHAPTER I
+
+FAT
+
+A fat man is a joke; and a fat woman is two jokes--one on herself and
+the other on her husband.  Half the comedy in the world is predicated
+on the paunch.  At that, the human race is divided into but two
+classes--fat people who are trying to get thin and thin people who are
+trying to get fat.
+
+Fat, the doctors say, is fatal.  I move to amend by striking out the
+last two letters of the indictment.  Fat is fat.  It isn't any more
+fatal to be reasonably fat than to be reasonably thin, but it's a
+darned sight more uncomfortable.  So far as being unreasonably thin or
+unreasonably fat is concerned, I suppose the thin person has the long
+end of it.  I never was thin, so I don't know.  However, I have been
+fat--notice that "have been"?  And if there is any phase of human
+enjoyment, any part of life, any occupation, avocation, divertisement,
+pleasure or pain where the fat man has the better of it in any regard,
+I failed to discover it in the twenty years during which I looked like
+the rear end of a hack and had all the bodily characteristics of a bale
+of hay.
+
+When you come to examine into the actuating motives for any line of
+human endeavor you will find that vanity figures about ninety per cent,
+directly or indirectly, in the assay.  The personal equation is the
+ruling equation.  Women want to be thinner because they will look
+better--and so do men.  Likewise, women want to be plumper because they
+will look better--and so do men.  This holds up to forty years.  After
+that it doesn't make much difference whether either men or women look
+any better than they have been looking, so far as the great end and aim
+of all life is concerned.  Consequently fat men and fat women after
+forty want to be thinner for reasons of health and comfort, or quit and
+resign themselves to their further years of obesity.
+
+Now I am over forty.  Hence my experiments in reduction may be taken at
+this time as grounded on a desire for comfort--not that I did not make
+many campaigns against my fat before I was forty.  I fought it now and
+then, but always retreated before I won a victory.  This time, instead
+of skirmishing valiantly for a space and then being ignominiously and
+fatly routed by the powerful forces of food and drink, I hung stolidly
+to the line of my original attack, harassed the enemy by a constant and
+deadly fire--and one morning discovered I had the foe on the run.
+
+It always makes me laugh to hear people talk about losing
+flesh--unless, of course, the decrease in weight is due to illness.  No
+healthy person, predisposed to fat, ever lost any flesh.  If that
+person gets rid of any weight, or girth, or fat, it isn't lost--it is
+fought off, beaten off.  The victim struggles with it, goes to the mat
+with it, and does not debonairly drop it.  He eliminates it with stern
+effort and much travail of the spirit.  It is a job of work, a grueling
+combat to the finish, a task that appalls and usually repels.
+
+The theory of taking off fat is the simplest theory in the world.  It
+is announced, in four words: Stop eating and drinking.  The practice of
+fat reduction is the most difficult thing in the world.  Its
+difficulties are comprehended in two words: You cannot.  The flesh is
+willing, but the spirit is weak.  The success of the undertaking lies
+in the triumph of the will over the appetite.  There's a lovely line of
+cant for you!  Triumph of the will over the appetite.  It sounds like
+the preaching of a professional food faddist, who tells the people they
+eat too much and then slips away and wolfs down four pounds of
+beefsteak at a sitting.  However, I suppose it is necessary to say this
+once in a dissertation like this--and it is said.
+
+In writing about this successful experiment of mine in reducing weight
+I have no theories to advance except one, and no instructions to give.
+I don't know whether my method would take an ounce off any other person
+in the world, and I don't care.  I only know it took more than fifty
+pounds off me.  I am not advancing any argument, medicinal or
+otherwise, for my plan.  I never talked to a doctor about it, and never
+shall.  If there are fat men and fat women who are fat for the same
+reasons I was fat I suppose they can get thin the way I got thin.  If
+they are fat for other reasons I suppose they cannot.  I don't know
+about either proposition.
+
+I have great respect for doctors--so much respect, in fact, that I keep
+diligently away from them.  I know the preliminaries of their game and
+can take a dose of medicine myself as skillfully as they can administer
+it.  Also, I know when I have a fever, and have a working knowledge of
+how my heart should beat and my other bodily functions be performed.  I
+have frequently found that a prescription, unintelligibly written but
+looking very wise, is highly efficacious when folded carefully and put
+in the pocketbook instead of being deposited with a druggist.  I
+suppose that comes from a sort of hereditary faith in amulets.  No
+doubt the method would be even more efficacious if the prescription
+were tied on a string and hung around the neck.  I shall try that some
+time when my wife lugs in a doctor on me.
+
+Still, doctors are interesting as a class.  After you get beyond the
+let-me-feel-your-pulse-and-see-your-tongue preliminaries they are
+versatile and ingenious.  Almost always, after you tell them what is
+the matter with you, they will know--not every time, but frequently.
+Also, they will take any sort of a chance with you in the interest of
+science.  However, they generally send out for a specialist when they
+are ill themselves.  When you come to think of it that is but natural.
+Almost any man, whether professional or not, will take a chance with
+somebody else that he wouldn't quite go through with on himself.
+Besides, doctors treat comparative strangers for the most part, and the
+interests of science are to be conserved.
+
+Almost any doctor can tell you how to get thin.  To be sure, no doctor
+will tell you to do the same things any other doctor prescribes, but it
+all simmers down to the same thing: Cut out the starchy foods and
+sweets, and take exercise.  Also: Don't drink alcohol.  The variations
+that can be played on this simple theme by a skillful doctor are
+endless.  When a real specialist in fat reduction gets hold of you--a
+real, earnest reducer--he can contrive a diet that would make a living
+skeleton thin--and likewise put him in his little grave.  I have had
+diets handed to me that would starve a humming-bird, and diets that
+would put flesh on a bronze statue; and all to the same end--reduction.
+Science has been monkeying with nourishment for the past ten or fifteen
+years to the exclusion of many other branches of research; and about
+all that has happened to the nourishment is the large elimination of
+nutriment from it.
+
+
+
+
+CHAPTER II
+
+THE SO-CALLED CURES
+
+Broadly speaking, the methods of fat reduction most in vogue are
+divided into four classes--mechanical, physical, medicinal and dietary.
+The first two are not worth considering by a man who has anything else
+to do.  I do not doubt that a man who could devote his whole time to
+the work could, by means of some of the appliances offered--from the
+apparatus in a gymnasium to rubber shirts, get off fat--nor do I doubt
+the efficacy of exercise and its accompaniments in the way of sweating
+and baths and all that; but when a person has a living to make these
+methods are useless, not through any demerit of their own but because
+the man who is fat hasn't the time or opportunity and, more than all,
+soon fails in the inclination to use them.
+
+If you can tell me anything more ghastly than taking a system of canned
+exercises in the morning or at night in one's bedroom or bathroom, or
+elsewhere, with no other incentive than some physical gain that, when
+you come to sum it up, is largely fictitious in value--or comes
+inevitably to be thought so--I would like to have you step forward and
+name it.  I have been all through that phase of it, and I know; and I
+also know by heart the patter of the persons who recommend it.
+Further, I know the person round the forties doesn't live who enjoys
+this sort of thing--no matter what he says about it; and without
+enjoyment exercise is of no use or worse than useless.  It can be done,
+of course; and lumps of muscle can be stuck on almost any part of the
+body--but what's the use to the person who has to make a living?  Then,
+too, I am speaking now of methods that can be used by men and women who
+are no longer young.  A young man can and will do stunts in physical
+culture that an older man cannot do, either satisfactorily or
+comfortably.
+
+So far as the medicinal or drug method of fat reduction is concerned,
+any fat man or woman who takes drugs to reduce flesh, or to help,
+deserves all that he or she will get--and that will be plenty.  There's
+no need of saying anything further on that subject.  Then there remains
+the dietary method--the old familiar friend, diet.  Starting with
+William Banting--maybe it didn't start with William, but before
+him--but, starting with Bill for present purposes, there have been more
+systems of diet invented and promulgated than there have been systems
+of religion--and that means about one in every hundred has evolved a
+system.
+
+You can get them of all sorts and all sure to do the work, ranging from
+an exclusive diet of beefsteak and spinach to desiccated hay and
+creamed alfalfa.  There are monodiets,  duodiets,  vegetable diets,
+fruit diets, nut diets--all kinds of diets--each guaranteed to take off
+flesh if you have too much or to put it on if you have too little.
+Basically, however, the antiflesh diets are about the same.  You are
+told to cut out everything you want to eat and exist on triply toasted
+bread and the white meat of a chicken, or string beans and sawdust, or
+any other combination the sharps say will not produce fat, but will
+sustain life in a lingering form.  They surround these diet talks and
+presentments with a lot of frills about proteins and calories and all
+that sort of guff, and make it as difficult as possible.  Now, mark
+you, I am not saying diet--scientific diet--is not a good thing, a
+magnificent step forward in the progress of this world; but I am saying
+that the average fat-reducing diet is impossible to any but a man or
+woman of the ultimate will-power, and is a hardship that need not be
+endured.  I have tried these diets, and I know!  They may help reduce
+flesh, but they are not easy to follow and they do not contain things
+that any person wants to eat or is accustomed to eat, or will eat, to
+the exclusion of things that person does want to eat and will eat.  It
+can be done.  One of these diets can be followed if the will-power is
+there, and the flesh will come off; but the method does not conduce to
+the best results--the physical force is reduced, and there is a much
+easier way.
+
+I have one of these diet lists before me now from the highest-priced
+flesh-reducing specialist in the world, who claims to have taken
+mountains of flesh off mountainous men.  In the beginning, for example,
+it says: "You will understand, of course, that sugar is entirely
+debarred.  Also, that fats, milk, cheese, cream, eggs, and so on, are
+cut off for the time being.  Also that bread and farinaceous foods are
+all cut off.  In place of bread or toast you must use gluten biscuits."
+For breakfast, in this dietary, one or two gluten biscuits are allowed
+and a cup of unsweetened coffee.  Also, six ounces of lean grilled
+steak, chops or chicken, and any white fish--or the whites of two eggs.
+
+This is about the layout for luncheon and dinner.  It is all about as
+exciting and appetizing as that.  The proposition is, of course, that
+you are not taking food which will make fat and you must, therefore,
+inevitably lose flesh.  So far so good; but the difficulty is not in
+the system, but in the hardship of carrying it out.  You can't have
+anything to eat that you want to eat.  You torture yourself for a space
+and lose some flesh; then when you do go back to your normal method of
+eating the flesh comes galloping back--and there you are!  It is the
+same with exercise.  You can take off fat by exercise; but, once you
+begin, you are doomed to everlasting exercise, for the minute you stop
+back comes the fat--and more of it than you had before you began to
+reduce.
+
+It is a tough game, anyway you play it, if you are disposed to be fat.
+No man living, who isn't a freak, can persist always in one diet.  Nor
+can any man who has anything else on his mind be always
+exercising--especially after he has reached forty years of age, when
+there are so many better things to do and time is valuable, and the
+real idea of how to live has just begun to percolate.  Also, until one
+is forty, if reasonably healthy, flesh is a joke, and not so much of a
+burden as it becomes later.  I haven't a thing in the world against any
+or all of these methods.  I have tried most of them and know most of
+them are bogus; but I am not trying to dissuade any person from taking
+off fat in any way that suits any individual fancy or the fancy of any
+reducer into whose hands the victim may have fallen.  If you have a
+good method go to it--and more power to you!
+
+My idea is this: I am setting down here a record of my own experiences,
+and that is all.  Every person who does not like what I have to say is
+cheerfully advised to lump it.  Any person who is as fat as I was and
+who wants to get thinner is at liberty to follow my method.  If
+circumstances are similar results will be similar.  If not there will
+be no results.  I am not advising or urging or putting forth any
+propaganda.  Here is what happened.  It may suit you or it may not.
+Either way I am indifferent.  In the words of the coon song: "I've got
+mine!"
+
+I hope I make myself clear.  I have no mission or message or any
+flubdub of that kind.  I am not one of those boys who urge you to do
+this for your own good.  I have read a ton of literature put out by
+persons who found something that agreed with them and immediately
+started out to reform the world along that line.  Your reformer,
+anyhow, is a person who wants all the rest of the world to do as he
+wants the rest of the world to do, not as the rest of the world wants
+to do.  And the reason reformers get past so numerously is because our
+society is so constituted that we spend every one of our brief years
+doing what other people want us to do and tell us to do, and never do
+anything we ourselves want to do.  Once I got seventeen pounds of books
+telling that the only way to cure everything was to fast.  I knew a man
+who tried that.  The results were grand.  He fasted a long time and
+cured himself of what ailed him.  Only, unfortunately, just before the
+last vestige of disease was removed the fasting killed him.  I contend
+that man might just as well have died of what ailed him originally as
+to cure that disease and die of the cure.  It seems to me it is as
+broad as it is long.
+
+However, have at this fat-reduction process of mine!  You must bear
+with a few personal reminiscences.  I was a big, husky brute of a
+boy--thick-chested, broad-shouldered, country-bred and with an appetite
+that knew no bounds.  After I got going at my business, when I was
+twenty-five or so, I was pinned down to a desk for about ten years.  I
+worked hard in a most exacting place.  I was so healthy it hurt.  I had
+just as much appetite for food as I had ever had; but I didn't get a
+chance to bat around as I had been accustomed to do and burn up that
+food.  The result was inevitable.  I began to get fat.  I had a big
+chest--forty-six inches--and the fat filled in underneath.  That big
+chest, combined with my broad shoulders, concealed the size of my
+paunch, and I didn't realize I was accumulating that paunch until it
+was soldered, riveted, lashed, glued, nailed and otherwise fastened to
+me.
+
+When I got my growth I weighed about one hundred and eighty-five pounds
+and was a pretty formidable physical proposition.  When I woke up to
+the fact that I was getting fat I found I weighed two hundred and
+twenty pounds.  That extra thirty-five pounds was mostly fat--excess
+baggage.  Still, it didn't bother me any.  I had the strength to tote
+it round and had the shoulders and the chest to conceal it.  I didn't
+show any bay window, as most fat men do.  As they used to say: "You're
+big all over.  You carry it all right."
+
+All this time I was eating three or four times a day and eating
+everything that came my way.  Also, I drank some--not excessively, but
+some whisky and some beer, and occasionally some wine and
+cocktails--about the average amount of drinking the average man does.
+I thought I was getting too fat, and I wrestled with a bicycle all one
+summer, taking long rides and plugging round a good deal.  I did some
+centuries, but continued eating like a horse--naturally because of the
+outdoor exercise--and drank a good deal of beer.  As will be seen, all
+the fat I had was legitimate enough.  I put it on myself.  There was no
+hereditary nonsense about it.  I was responsible for every ounce of it.
+The net result of that summer's bicycle campaign was a gain of five
+pounds in weight.  I was harder--but I was fatter, too.
+
+When I was thirty-five I began to experiment.  I then weighed two
+hundred and twenty-five pounds.  I went to the canned-exercise, the
+physical-torture professor, the diet, the salts, and all the rest of
+it, taking off a few pounds but putting it all back again--and more--as
+soon as I stopped.
+
+These attempts numbered about two a year.  Between times I ate as I
+wanted to and drank as I pleased.  Things ran along until the first of
+January, 1911.  I knew I was getting fatter, for my tailor told me so
+and my belts and old clothes all proved it.  Still, I didn't bother
+much.  I thought I was lingering round about two hundred and
+thirty-five--too much, of course; but I got away with it pretty well,
+except in hot weather and when I went up in the high mountains, and I
+was reasonably content.  I was fat, all right.  My waist was only two
+inches smaller than my chest and that meant my waist was forty-four
+inches in girth.  As a matter of fact, being scant five feet ten and a
+half, I was bigger than a house; but I deluded myself with that stuff
+about my broad shoulders and my deep chest, and thought it didn't show.
+It did show, of course.  I was a fat man--a big fat man--carrying forty
+pounds or more of excess weight.
+
+I had dieted and quit; exercised and quit; gone on the waterwagon and
+fallen off; had fussed round a good deal, spending a lot of money in
+the attempt, and I was getting fatter all the time.  I hated to admit
+that fact.  I tried to fool myself into the conviction that I wasn't
+getting any larger--and all the time I knew I was.  I even went so far
+as to stop getting on the scales; and when anybody--as almost everybody
+did--said, "Why, you're getting bigger, ain't you?"  I always replied:
+"No, I think not.  I stick along about two hundred and thirty-five
+pounds."
+
+A year ago last summer I went up into the mountains, where I usually go
+for my fun.  I had noticed a shortness of breath and a wheeziness in
+previous summers, and had felt my heart pounding pretty hard; but that
+summer I noticed these things acutely.  I couldn't get any air to
+breathe.  My heart pounded like a pneumatic riveter.  Any little
+exercise tired me; and when in the lowlands in hot weather I was the
+perspiring marvel and the most uncomfortable as well as the sloppiest
+person you ever saw.  It was fierce!
+
+I was doing a good deal of walking in those days--had to burn up the
+fuel I was taking into my body.  Also, I noticed it was mighty hard to
+keep awake after dinner unless I got out into the air and kept moving.
+I felt well enough and the doctors said I was organically all right.  I
+kept informed on those points--but I was fat!  Also, though I lied to
+myself, I knew I was getting fatter.
+
+CHAPTER III
+
+FACING THE TISSUE
+
+On New Year's Day, 1911, I weighed myself.  I don't know why, for I
+hadn't been on a scale for two or three years.  I set the weight at two
+hundred and thirty-five and it bounded up like a rubber ball; so I shoved
+it along to two hundred and forty and it still stayed up in the air.
+When I got a balance I found I weighed two hundred and forty-seven
+pounds.  I was amazed!  Also, I was scared; for it instantly occurred to
+me that if I had gone up to two hundred and forty-seven in two or three
+years from two hundred and thirty-five I should keep on going up if my
+manner of living didn't change--and that presently I should weigh three
+hundred!
+
+That two hundred and forty-seven pounds was a facer.  I was forced to
+admit to myself that I was fat, disgustingly fat--too fat; and that I
+should get fatter!  So I sat down and looked the situation in the eye.  I
+recounted all my former efforts to get thin and discarded them one by
+one.  I knew myself, and knew the ordinary diet proposition and the
+ordinary exercise proposition were not for me.  I knew I was wheezy and
+that my heart was getting choked with fat; that there were great folds of
+it on me, and that it was up to me to get rid of it or quit and wait for
+the inevitable end.  If it kept on I knew I should blow up some fine day.
+Besides, I was uric-acidy, rheumatic and stertorous and clumsy.  I had
+about fifty or sixty pounds of poisonous junk wrapped round me, and I
+knew I should suffer for it in the end, though I didn't feel it much and
+carried it with a fair assumption of lightness.
+
+I was not an amateur at the game.  I had been through the mill.  I spent
+several days in going over the whole matter.  It was reasonably simple,
+too, and needn't have taken so much of my time; but I was protecting
+myself, you see, gold-bricking myself--trying to find a way out that
+would not deprive me of things I liked to do, of pleasures I wanted to
+enjoy.  It was pure selfishness that dominated me and made me do so much
+figuring on a proposition I knew was contained in a sentence; but I did
+fight to hang on to the old way of living.
+
+After each session of false logic and selfish hypothesis I invariably
+came back to the same proposition, which is the only proposition--and
+that was: What makes fat?  Food and drink.  How can you reduce fat?  By
+reducing the amount of food and drink--that is all there is or was to it.
+The only way to get rid of the effects of overeating and overdrinking is
+to stop overeating and overdrinking.
+
+I went over my food habit.  I was accustomed to eating a big hired-man's
+breakfast--fruit, coffee, eggs, waffles, hot bread, sausage, anything
+that came along; and I heaved in a lot of it--not a little--a lot!  I
+didn't eat so much at luncheon, but I ate plenty; and at night I simply
+cleaned up the table.  I wasn't so strong on sweets and pastry, because I
+usually drank a few highballs during the day, and highballs and cocktails
+and sweets do not go well together--that is, the man who takes alcohol
+into his system usually does not care for sweets.  Beer was one of my
+long suits too--Pilsner beer.  I did like that!
+
+I looked this food habit squarely in the face.  I impaled the drink habit
+with my glittering eye.  I knew I was eating about sixty per cent more
+than I needed or could use, and that I was drinking a hundred per cent
+more.  I knew that nothing makes fat but food and drink.  I knew excess
+of food will make any animal fat and I saw I had been eating freely of
+the most fattening kinds of food.  I knew beer and liquor were made of
+grain, and that grain is used to fatten steers and cows and pigs.  I
+refused to adopt a diet like any of those unpalatable ones I had
+experimented with, but the remedy was as plain as the cause.  It was
+simple enough if I had the nerve to go through with it.
+
+Inasmuch as an excess of food and drink make an excess of fat, it follows
+that the reduction in the amount of food will stop that fat-forming and
+give the body a chance to burn up the excess fat already formed.  That
+was my conclusion.  Mind you, I reached that conclusion before I made any
+of my arguments; but I didn't want to admit it as reasonable or logical,
+for I hated to give up the pleasures of the table and the sociability
+that came with the sort of drinking I did.  I was trying to find a way
+out that would be easy and comfortable.  And all the time I was getting
+fatter!  The scales told me that.
+
+This backing and filling and argument with myself lasted all through
+January and part of February.  It took me six weeks to get myself into
+the frame of mind where I admitted the truth of my conclusion.  I was no
+hero.  I didn't want to do it.  I loved it all too well.  I was as rank a
+coward in the beginning as you ever saw!  It appalled me to think of
+restricting myself in any way, for I liked the pleasures that I knew I
+must forego.  However, when I got up to two hundred and fifty pounds I
+sat down and had it out with myself.
+
+"Here!" I said to myself.  "You big stuff, you now weigh two hundred and
+fifty pounds!  In another year or two you will weigh two hundred and
+seventy-five pounds!  You are uncomfortable and heavy on your feet, and
+you are gouty and wheezy; and it's a cinch you'll die in a few years if
+you keep on this way.  You know all this fat is caused by an excess of
+food and drink, and you know it can be taken off by a reduction in those
+fatmakers.  Are you going to stick round here so fat you are a joke,
+uncomfortable, miserable when it's hot, in your own way and in the way of
+everybody else, when, if you've got the will-power of a chickadee, you
+can get back to reasonable proportions and comfort merely by denying
+yourself things you do not need?"
+
+All the old arguments obtruded.  See what I should lose!  Life would be a
+dull and dreary affair--a dun, dismal proposition.  I admitted that.  On
+the other hand, however, life would not be a wheezy, sweaty,
+choked-heart, uncomfortable proposition.  I finally decided I would go to
+it.  And I did.
+
+My method may be utterly unscientific.  I suppose it hasn't a scientific
+leg to stand on.  Still, it did the business.  And I maintain that
+results are what we are looking for.  The end justifies the means.  I
+didn't figure out a diet.  I had a dozen of them at home that had cost me
+all the way from two dollars to two hundred and fifty dollars each.  I
+didn't buy a system of exercise.  I read no books and consulted no
+doctors.  What I did was this: I cut down the amount of food I ate sixty
+per cent and I cut out alcohol altogether!  I carried out my argument to
+its logical conclusion so far as it concerned myself.  I didn't give a
+hoot whether it would help or hurt or concern any other person in the
+world.  It was my body I was experimenting on, and I did what I
+dad-blamed pleased and asked no advice--nor took any.
+
+Instead of a hot-bread--I have the greatest hot-bread artist in the world
+at my house, bar none!--waffle, sausage, kidney-stew, lamb-chop,
+fried-egg and so forth sort of breakfast, I cut that meal down to some
+fruit, a couple of pieces of dry, hard toast, two boiled eggs and coffee.
+I cut out the luncheon altogether.  No more luncheon for me!  I cut down
+my dinners to about forty per cent of what I had been eating.  I
+diminished the quantity, but not the variety.  I ate everything that came
+along, but I didn't eat so much or half so much.  Instead of two slices
+of roast beef, for example, I ate only one small slice.  Instead of two
+baked or browned potatoes, I ate only half of one.  Instead of three or
+four slices of bread, I ate only one.  I didn't deprive myself of a
+single thing I liked, but I cut the quantity away down.  And I quit
+drinking alcohol absolutely.
+
+What happened?  This is what happened: Eating food is just as much a
+habit as breathing or any other physical function.  I had got myself into
+the habit of eating large quantities of food.  Also, I had accustomed my
+system to certain amounts of alcohol.  I was organized on that
+basis--fatly and flabbily organized, to be sure, but organized just the
+same.  Now, then, when I arbitrarily cut down the amount of food and
+drink for which my system was organized that entire system rose up in
+active revolt and yelled for what it had been accustomed to get.  There
+wasn't a minute for more than three months when I wasn't hungry, actually
+hungry for food; when the sight of food did not excite me and when I did
+not have a physical longing and appetite for food; when my stomach did
+not seem to demand it and my palate howl for it.  It was different with
+the drinking.  I got over that desire rather promptly, but with a
+struggle, at that; but the food-yearn was there for weeks and weeks, and
+it was a fight--a bitter, bitter fight!
+
+When I went to the table and saw the good things on it, and knew I
+intended only to eat small portions of them, especially of my favorite
+desserts and my beloved hot-bread, I simply had to grip the sides of my
+chair and use all the will-power I had to keep from reaching out and
+grabbing something and stuffing it into my mouth!  My friends used to
+think it was all a joke.  It was farther from being a joke than anything
+you ever heard about.  It was a tragedy--a grim, relentless tragedy!  It
+was acute physical suffering.  My body cried out for that same amount of
+food I had been giving it all those years.  I wanted to give it that same
+amount.  I have had to leave the table time and time again to get hold of
+myself and go back to the smaller portions I had allotted to myself.  I
+liked to eat, you know.
+
+Nothing much happened for a few weeks, though the waistband of my
+trousers grew looser.  Then a lot of excess baggage seemed to drop away
+all at once.  I weighed myself and found I had taken off twenty-five
+pounds.  Friends told me to quit--that I should overdo it.  I laughed at
+them.  I knew I was still twenty-five pounds too heavy and I was just
+getting into my stride.  It is strange how men, and especially fat men,
+who haven't the nerve to reduce themselves, think a man must be sick if
+he takes off flesh.  I knew I wasn't sick.  Indeed, I was just beginning
+to get well.
+
+By the end of three months I had taken off thirty-five pounds.  It was
+coming off well, too.  My face wasn't haggard or wrinkled.  I looked fit.
+My eye was clear and my double chin had disappeared.  Also, I had
+conquered my fight with my appetite.  I had won out.  I was satisfied
+with the smaller quantities of food and I felt better than I had in
+twenty years--stronger, fitter--and was better, mentally and physically.
+After that it was a cinch.  I kept along, eating everything on the
+bill-of-fare, but in small quantities.  I didn't vary my diet a bit,
+except for the eggs at breakfast.  If I wanted pie I ate a small piece.
+If I wanted ice cream I ate a small dish.  If I wanted pudding I ate some
+of that.  I ate fat meat and lean meat and spaghetti, and everything else
+interdicted by the reduction dietists--only in small quantities!  And I
+kept on getting smaller and smaller.
+
+The fat came off from everywhere.  I had been incased with it apparently.
+My waist decreased seven inches.  A big layer of fat came off my chest
+and abdomen.  My legs and arms grew smaller but harder.  Even my fingers
+grew smaller.  My excess of chin evaporated.  And at the end of the fifth
+month I had taken off fifty-five pounds.  I weighed then one hundred and
+ninety-five pounds, which is what I weigh today.
+
+Every person, I take it, has a normal weight; and if that person gives
+his body a chance, and ill health does not intervene, the body will find
+that normal and stay there.  I take it that my normal weight, on account
+of my big frame and bones, is about one hundred and ninety-five pounds,
+at the age of forty-three.  At any rate, it has stayed at a hundred and
+ninety-five since the first of last July, and in that time I have loafed
+for two months and ridden on Pullman cars for two other months, and have
+not taken any exercise to speak of; but I have maintained my schedule of
+eating and I have not taken any alcohol.  I figure I can stay where I am
+indefinitely on that program--and that is my program indefinitely.
+
+There are certain economic phases of a campaign of this kind that should
+be mentioned.  It is expensive.  Not one item of clothing, save my hat,
+socks and shoes, which fitted me last January is of the slightest use to
+me now.  I didn't get to cutting down clothes until I was sure I would
+stick.  Since that time the tailors have had a picnic at my expense.  My
+shirts were too big.  Instead of wearing a seventeen-and-three-quarters
+collar, I now wear a sixteen-and-three-quarters.  My waist is seven
+inches smaller.  I even had to have a seal ring I wear cut down so it
+would not slip off my finger.  While in the transition stage I looked
+like a scarecrow.  My clothes hung on me like bags.
+
+Since I have had my clothes re-made and new ones constructed I am an
+object of continual comment among my friends.  They all marvel at my
+changed appearance.  They are all solicitous about my health.  They do
+not see how a man can take off more than fifty pounds and not hurt
+himself.  I do not see how he can keep it on and not kill himself.  They
+tell me I look like a boy--and I feel like one.  I'm as active as I was
+twenty years ago.  When I was in the mountains this summer, at an
+altitude of seventy-five hundred feet, I could climb slopes with no
+exhaustion that I couldn't have gone fifteen feet up the year before.  My
+mind is clearer; my body is better.  I figure I have added a good many
+years to my life.
+
+And all this time I have had everything I wanted to eat, but not all I
+wanted to eat until I got myself readjusted to the new system.  I missed
+the alcohol at first, but that is all over now.  It was a part of the
+game and I used to think a necessary part.  I have cured myself of that
+delusion.  If there is a thing on earth the matter with me the ablest
+doctors in this country can't find out what it is.  I am a rejuvenated,
+reconstructed person, no longer fat, aged forty-three--and the White
+Man's Hope!
+
+As to the exercise end of it, there wasn't any exercise end.  It happened
+that I met a man last March, when I was in the first throes of this
+campaign, who had made some study of the human body.  I liked him because
+he was modest about what he knew, and not a faddist.  We talked about
+exercise.  He told me one thing that stuck.  He said: "Walk a little
+every day.  If you have half an hour walk a mile.  If you have an hour
+walk two miles.  Don't try to see how many miles you can walk in the
+half-hour or the hour, but take your time.  Look at things as you go
+along.  Be leisurely about it.  When a man goes out for a walk and walks
+as hard as he can or does anything else in the shape of exercise as hard
+as he can he is subjecting himself to just as much nerve strain as he can
+subject himself to in any other way.  Be calm about your walking, or
+whatever else you do."
+
+Formerly it had been my custom to plug out after breakfast and gallop
+three or four miles as hard as I could and then go to work.  I cut that
+out.  I walked an easy, leisurely mile or two miles, looking at the trees
+and flowers and watching the people and looking into shop windows, and I
+got a lot of good out of it.  Then it grew hot, and I cut my walking to
+half a mile or so down to my office in the morning and back at night.
+Occasionally, after dinner, I would walk a couple of miles.  This summer
+I went fishing and tramped about some, but not much.  In reality, I had
+no scheme of exercise, and I took little.  I didn't need it.  I didn't
+have masses of food and drink in me to be burned up.  I was normal.
+
+As I said, I suppose all this is absurdly unscientific--and I don't give
+a hoot if it is.  It worked for me.  I don't know whether it will work
+for any other person on this earth.  Nor do I care.  If you want to try
+it on, provided you are fat, here are the specifications: I assume it is
+an axiom that we all eat too much.  I know I did--about sixty per cent
+too much.  Still, I guarantee nothing.  I make no claims.  I have set
+down the facts; and the only warning, advice or admonition I have to give
+is that any person who makes up his mind to try this method and thinks he
+isn't in for the hardest struggle of his life would do well not to try.
+This isn't a frolic.  It's a fight.
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE FUN OF GETTING THIN***
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