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diff --git a/old/14549.txt b/old/14549.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4bcb71a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/14549.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6130 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Rule a Wife, and Have a Wife +by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Rule a Wife, and Have a Wife + Beaumont & Fletcher's Works (3 of 10) + +Author: Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +Release Date: January 1, 2005 [EBook #14549] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RULE A WIFE, AND HAVE A WIFE *** + + + + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Paul Murray and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team + + + + + + +170] Rule a Wife, and have a Wife + + + The works of Beaumont and Fletcher, edited by A.R. Walker + + + + + +Actus Primus + + + + +Scena Prima + + [Enter _Juan de Castro_, and _Michael Perez_.] + +Michael Perez: + + Are your Companies full, Colonel? + +Juan de Castro: + + No, not yet, Sir: + Nor will not be this month yet, as I reckon; + How rises your Command? + +Michael Perez: + + We pick up still, and as our monies hold out, + We have men come, about that time I think + We shall be full too, many young Gallants go. + +Juan de Castro: + + And unexperienced, + The Wars are dainty dreams to young hot spirits, + Time and Experience will allay those Visions, + We have strange things to fill our numbers, + There's one _Don Leon_, a strange goodly fellow, + Recommended to me from some noble Friends, + For my _Alferes_, had you but seen his Person, + And what a Giants promise it protesteth. + +Michael Perez: + + I have heard of him, and that he hath serv'd before too. + +Juan de Castro: + + But no harm done, nor never meant, _Don Michael_, + That came to my ears yet, ask him a question, + He blushes like a Girl, and answers little, + To the point less, he wears a Sword, a good one, + And good Cloaths too, he is whole skin'd, has no hurt yet, + Good promising hopes, I never yet heard certainly + Of any Gentleman that saw him angry. + +Michael Perez: + + Preserve him, he'll conclude a peace if need be, + Many as strong as he will go along with us, + That swear as valiantly as heart can wish, + Their mouths charg'd with six oaths at once, and whole ones, + That make the drunken Dutch creep into Mole-hills. +171] + +Juan de Castro: + + 'Tis true, such we must look for: but _Mich. Perez_, + When heard you of _Donna Margarita_, the great Heiress? + +Michael Perez: + + I hear every hour of her, though I never saw her, + She is the main discourse: noble _Don Juan de Castro_, + How happy were that man could catch this Wench up, + And live at ease! she is fair, and young, and wealthy, + Infinite wealthy, and as gracious too + In all her entertainments, as men report. + +Juan de Castro: + + But she is proud, Sir, that I know for certain, + And that comes seldome without wantonness, + He that shall marry her, must have a rare hand. + +Michael Perez: + + Would I were married, I would find that Wisdom, + With a light rein to rule my Wife: if ever Woman + Of the most subtile mould went beyond me, + I would give the Boys leave to whoot me out o'th' Parish. + + [Enter a Servant.] + +Servant: + + Sir, there be two Gentlewomen attend to speak + With you. + +Juan de Castro: + + Wait on 'em in. + +Michael Perez: + + Are they two handsome Women? + +Servant: + + They seem so, very handsom, but they are vail'd, Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + Thou put'st sugar in my mouth, how it melts with me! + I love a sweet young Wench. + +Juan de Castro: + + Wait on them in I say. + [Exit Servant. + +Michael Perez: + + _Don Juan._ + +Juan de Castro: + + How you itch, _Michael_! how you burnish! + Will not this Souldiers heat out of your bones yet, + Do your Eyes glow now? + +Michael Perez: + + There be two. + +Juan de Castro: + + Say honest, what shame have you then? + +Michael Perez: + + I would fain see that, + I have been in the Indies twice, and have seen strange things, + But two honest Women;--one I read of once. + +Juan de Castro: + + Prithee be modest. + +Michael Perez: + + I'll be any thing. + + [Enter _Servant_, _Donna Clara_, and _Estifania_ vail'd.] + +Juan de Castro: + + You are welcome Ladies. + +Michael Perez: + + Both hooded, I like 'em well though, +172] They come not for advice in Law sure hither; + May be they would learn to raise the Pike, + I am for 'em: they are very modest, 'tis a fine Preludium. + +Juan de Castro: + + With me, or with this Gentleman, + Would you speak, Lady? + +Clara: + + With you, Sir, as I guess, _Juan de Castro_. + +Michael Perez: + + Her Curtain opens, she is a pretty Gentlewoman. + +Juan de Castro: + + I am the Man, and shall be bound to Fortune, + I may do any service to your Beauties. + +Clara: + + Captain, I hear you are marching down to _Flanders_, + To serve the Catholick King. + +Juan de Castro: + + I am sweet Lady. + +Clara: + + I have a Kinsman, and a noble Friend, + Imploy'd in those Wars, may be, Sir, you know him, + _Don Campusano_ Captain of _Carbines_, + To whom I would request your Nobleness, + To give this poor Remembrance. + + [A Letter. + +Juan de Castro: + + I shall do it, + I know the Gentleman, a most worthy Captain. + +Clara: + + Something in private. + +Juan de Castro: + + Step aside: I'll serve thee. + [Ex. _Juan_, and _Clara_. + +Michael Perez: + + Prithee let me see thy face. + +Estifania: + + Sir, you must pardon me, + Women of our sort, that maintain fair memories, + And keep suspect off from their Chastities, + Had need wear thicker Vails. + +Michael Perez: + + I am no blaster of a Ladies Beauty, + Nor bold intruder on her special favours, + I know how tender Reputation is, + And with what guards it ought to be preserv'd, Lady, + You may to me. + +Estifania: + + You must excuse me, Seignior, I come + Not here to sell my self. + +Michael Perez: + + As I am a Gentleman, by the honour of a Souldier. + +Estifania: + + I believe you, + I pray you be civil, I believe you would see me, + And when you have seen me I believe you will like me, + But in a strange place, to a stranger too, + As if I came on purpose to betray you, + Indeed I will not. +173] + +Michael Perez: + + I shall love you dearly, + And 'tis a sin to fling away affection, + I have no Mistress, no desire to honour + Any but you, will not this Oyster open? + I know not, you have struck me with your modesty; + She will draw sure; so deep, and taken from me + All the desire I might bestow on others, + Quickly before they come. + +Estifania: + + Indeed I dare not: + But since I see you are so desirous, Sir, + To view a poor face that can merit nothing + But your Repentance. + +Michael Perez: + + It must needs be excellent. + +Estifania: + + And with what honesty you ask it of me, + When I am gone let your man follow me, + And view what house I enter, thither come, + For there I dare be bold to appear open: + And as I like your vertuous carriage then, + + [Enter _Juan_, _Clara_, a Servant.] + + I shall be able to give welcome to you; + She hath done her business, I must take my leave, Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + I'll kiss your fair white hand and thank you, Lady. + My man shall wait, and I shall be your Servant; + Sirrah, come near, hark. + +Servant: + + I shall do it faithfully. + [Exit. + +Juan de Castro: + + You will command me no more services? + +Clara: + + To be careful of your noble health, dear Sir, + That I may ever honour you. + +Juan de Castro: + + I thank you, + And kiss your hands, wait on the Ladies down there. + + [Exeunt Ladies, and Servants. + +Michael Perez: + + You had the honour to see the face that came to you? + +Juan de Castro: + + And 'twas a fair one; what was yours, _Don Michael_? + +Michael Perez: + + Mine was i'th' clipse, and had a Cloud drawn over it. + But I believe well, and I hope 'tis handsome, + She had a hand would stir a holy Hermite. + +Juan de Castro: + + You know none of 'em? + +Michael Perez: + + No. + +Juan de Castro: + + Then I do, Captain, +174] But I'll say nothing till I see the proof on't, + Sit close _Don Perez_, or your Worship's caught. + I fear a Flye. + +Michael Perez: + + Were those she brought Love-Letters? + +Juan de Castro: + + A Packet to a Kinsman now in _Flanders_, + Yours was very modest methought. + +Michael Perez: + + Some young unmanag'd thing, + But I may live to see-- + +Juan de Castro: + + 'Tis worth experience, + Let's walk abroad and view our Companies. + + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Sanchio_, and _Alonzo_.] + +Sanchio: + + What, are you for the Wars, _Alonzo_? + +Alonzo: + + It may be I, + It may be no, e'n as the humour takes me. + If I find peace amongst the female Creatures, + And easie entertainment, I'll stay at home, + I am not so far obliged yet to long Marches + And mouldy Biskets, to run mad for Honour, + When you are all gone I have my choice before me. + +Sanchio: + + Of which Hospital thou wilt sweat in; wilt thou + Never leave whoring? + +Alonzo: + + There is less danger in't than gunning, _Sanchio_, + Though we be shot sometimes, the shot's not mortal, + Besides, it breaks no limbs. + +Sanchio: + + But it disables 'em, + Dost thou see how thou pull'st thy legs after thee, as they + Hung by points. + +Alonzo: + + Better to pull 'em thus than walk on wooden ones, + Serve bravely for a Billet to support me. + +Sanchio: + + Fye, fye, 'tis base. + +Alonzo: + + Dost thou count it base to suffer? + Suffer abundantly? 'tis the Crown of Honour; + You think it nothing to lie twenty days + Under a Surgeons hands that has no mercy. + +Sanchio: + + As thou hast done I am sure, but I perceive now + Why you desire to stay, the orient Heiress, + The _Margarita_, Sir, + +Alonzo: + + I would I had her. + +Sanchio: + + They say she will marry. +175] + +Alonzo: + + I think she will. + +Sanchio: + + And marry suddenly, as report goes too, + She fears her Youth will not hold out, _Alonzo_. + +Alonzo: + + I would I had the sheathing on't. + +Sanchio: + + They say too + She has a greedy eye that must be fed + With more than one mans meat. + +Alonzo: + + Would she were mine, + I would cater for her well enough; but _Sanchio_, + There be too many great men that adore her, + Princes, and Princes fellows, that claim priviledge. + +Sanchio: + + Yet those stand off i'th' way of marriage, + To be tyed to a man's pleasure is a second labour. + +Alonzo: + + She has bought a brave house here in town. + +Sanchio: + + I have heard so. + +Alonzo: + + If she convert it now to pious uses, + And bid poor Gentlemen welcome. + +Sanchio: + + When comes she to it? + +Alonzo: + + Within these two days, she is in the Country yet, + And keeps the noblest House. + +Sanchio: + + Then there's some hope of her, + Wilt thou go my way? + +Alonzo: + + No, no, I must leave you, + And repair to an old Gentlewoman + That has credit with her, that can speak a good word. + +Sanchio: + + Send thee good fortune, but make thy Body sound first. + +Alonzo: + + I am a Souldier, + And too sound a Body becomes me not; + Farewel, _Sanchio_. + + [Exeunt. + + [Enter a Servant of _Michael Perez_.] + +Servant: + + 'Tis this or that house, or I have lost my aim, + They are both fair buildings, she walked plaguy fast, + + [Enter _Estifania_.] + + And hereabouts I lost her; stay, that's she, + 'Tis very she,--she makes me a low court'sie, + Let me note the place, the street I well remember. + + [Exit. + + She is in again, certain some noble Lady. + How happy should I be if she love my master: +176] A wondrous goodly house, here are brave lodgings, + And I shall sleep now like an Emperour, + And eat abundantly: I thank my fortune, + I'll back with speed, and bring him happy tidings. + + [Exit. + + [Enter three old Ladies.] + +1 Lady: + + What should it mean, that in such haste + We are sent for? + +2 Lady: + + Belike the Lady _Margaret_ has some business + She would break to us in private. + +3 Lady: + + It should seem so. + 'Tis a good Lady, and a wise young Lady. + +2 Lady: + + And vertuous enough too I warrant ye + For a young Woman of her years; 'tis pity + To load her tender Age with too much Vertue. + +3 Lady: + + 'Tis more sometimes than we can well away with. + + [Enter _Altea_.] + +Altea: + + Good morrow, Ladies. + +All: + + 'Morrow, my good Madam. + +1 Lady: + + How does the sweet young Beauty, Lady _Margaret_? + +2 Lady: + + Has she slept well after her walk last night? + +1 Lady: + + Are her dreams gentle to her mind? + +Altea: + + All's well, + She's very well, she sent for you thus suddenly + To give her counsel in a business + That much concerns her. + +2 Lady: + + She does well and wisely, + To ask the counsel of the ancientst, Madam, + Our years have run through many things she knows not. + +Altea: + + She would fain marry. + +1 Lady: + + 'Tis a proper calling, + And well beseems her years, who would she yoke with? + +Altea: + + That's left to argue on, I pray come in + And break your fast, drink a good cup or two, + To strengthen your understandings, then she'l tell ye. + +2 Lady: + + And good wine breeds good counsel. + We'l yield to ye. + + [Exeunt. + +177] + [Enter _Juan de Castro_, and _Leon_.] + +Juan de Castro: + + Have you seen any service? + +Leon: + + Yes. + +Juan de Castro: + + Where? + +Leon: + + Every where. + +Juan de Castro: + + What office bore ye? + +Leon: + + None, I was not worthy. + +Juan de Castro: + + What Captains know you? + +Leon: + + None, they were above me. + +Juan de Castro: + + Were you never hurt? + +Leon: + + Not that I well remember, + But once I stole a Hen, and then they beat me; + Pray ask me no long questions, I have an ill memory. + +Juan de Castro: + + This is an Asse, did you never draw your sword yet? + +Leon: + + Not to do any harm I thank Heaven for't. + +Juan de Castro: + + Nor ne'r ta'ne prisoner? + +Leon: + + No, I ran away, + For I had ne'r no mony to redeem me. + +Juan de Castro: + + Can you endure a Drum? + +Leon: + + It makes my head ake. + +Juan de Castro: + + Are you not valiant when you are drunk? + +Leon: + + I think not, but I am loving Sir. + +Juan de Castro: + + What a lump is this man, + Was your Father wise? + +Leon: + + Too wise for me I'm sure, + For he gave all he had to my younger Brother. + +Juan de Castro: + + That was no foolish part I'le bear you witness. + Canst thou lye with a woman? + +Leon: + + I think I could make shift Sir, + But I am bashfull. + +Juan de Castro: + + In the night? + +Leon: + + I know not, + Darkness indeed may do some good upon me. + +Juan de Castro: + + Why art thou sent to me to be my officer, + I, and commended too, when thou darst not fight? + +Leon: + + There be more officers of my opinion, + Or I am cozen'd Sir, men that talk more too. + +Juan de Castro: + + How wilt thou scape a bullet? + +Leon: + + Why by chance, +178] They aim at honourable men, alas I am none Sir. + +Juan de Castro: + + This fellow has some doubts in's talk that strike me, + + [Enter _Alonzo_.] + + He cannot be all fool: welcom _Alonzo_. + +Alonzo: + + What have you got there, temperance into your company? + The spirit of peace? we shall have wars + + [Enter _Cacafogo_.] + + By th'ounce then. O here's another pumpion, + Let him loose for luck sake, the cram'd son + Of a stay'd Usurer, _Cacafogo_, both their brains butter'd, + Cannot make two spoonfulls. + +Cacafogo: + + My Father's dead: I am a man of war too, + Monyes, demesns; I have ships at sea too, + Captains. + +Juan de Castro: + + Take heed o'th' Hollanders, your ships may leak else. + +Cacafogo: + + I scorn the Hollanders, they are my drunkards. + +Alonzo: + + Put up your gold Sir, I'le borrow it else. + +Cacafogo: + + I am satisfied, you shall not, + Come out, I know thee, meet mine anger instantly. + +Leon: + + I never wrong'd ye. + +Cacafogo: + + Thou hast wrong'd mine honor, + Thou look'dst upon my Mistris thrice lasciviously, + I'le make it good. + +Juan de Castro: + + Do not hea[t] your self, you will surfeit. + +Cacafogo: + + Thou wan'st my mony too, with a pair of base bones, + In whom there was no truth, for which I beat thee, + I beat thee much, now I will hurt thee dangerously. + This shall provoke thee. + + [He strikes. + +Alonzo: + + You struck too low by a foot Sir. + +Juan de Castro: + + You must get a ladder when you would beat + This fellow. + +Leon: + + I cannot chuse but kick again, pray pardon me. + +Cacafogo: + + Had'st thou not ask'd my pardon, I had kill'd thee, + I leave thee as a thing despis'd, _assoles manus a vostra siniare_ + _a Maistre_. + + [Exit _Cacafogo_. + +Alonzo: + + You have scap'd by miracle, there is not in all _Spain_, + A spirit of more fury than this fire drake. + +Leon: + + I see he is hasty, and I would give him leave +179] To beat me soundly if he would take my bond. + +Juan de Castro: + + What shall I do with this fellow? + +Alonzo: + + Turn him off, + He will infect the camp with cowardise, + If he goe with thee. + +Juan de Castro: + + About some week hence Sir, + If I can hit upon no abler officer, + You shall hear from me. + +Leon: + + I desire no better. + [Exit. + + [Enter _Estifania_, and _Perez_.] + +Michael Perez: + + You have made me now too bountifull amends, Lady + For your strict carriage when you saw me first, + These beauties were not meant to be conceal'd, + It was a wrong to hide so sweet an object, + I cou'd now chide ye, but it shall be thus, + No other anger ever touch your sweetness. + +Estifania: + + You appear to me so honest, and so civil, + Without a blush Sir, I dare bid ye welcom. + +Michael Perez: + + Now let me ask your name. + +Estifania: + + 'Tis _Estifanie_, the heir of this poor place. + +Michael Perez: + + Poor do you call it? + There's nothing that I cast mine eyes upon, + But shews both rich and admirable, all the rooms + Are hung as if a Princess were to dwell here, + The Gardens, Orchards, every thing so curious: + Is all that plate your own too? + +Estifania: + + 'Tis but little, + Only for present use, I have more and richer, + When need shall call, or friends compel me use it, + The sutes you see of all the upper chamber, + Are those that commonly adorn the house, + I think I have besides, as fair, as civil, + As any town in _Spain_ can parallel. + +Michael Perez: + + Now if she be not married, I have some hopes. + Are you a maid? + +Estifania: + + You make me blush to answer, + I ever was accounted so to this hour, + And that's the reason that I live retir'd Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + Then would I counsel you to marry presently, +180] (If I can get her, I am made for ever) + For every year you lose, you lose a beauty, + A Husband now, an honest careful Husband, + Were such a comfort: will ye walk above stairs? + +Estifania: + + This place will fit our talk, 'tis fitter far Sir, + Above there are day-beds, and such temptations + I dare not trust Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + She is excellent wise withal too. + +Estifania: + + You nam'd a husband, I am not so strict Sir, + Nor ti'd unto a Virgins solitariness, + But if an honest, and a noble one, + Rich, and a souldier, for so I have vowed he shall be, + Were offer'd me, I think I should accept him, + But above all he must love. + +Michael Perez: + + He were base else, + There's comfort ministred in the word souldier, + How sweetly should I live! + +Estifania: + + I am not so ignorant, but that I know well, + How to be commanded, + And how again to make my self obey'd Sir, + I waste but little, I have gather'd much, + My rial not the less worth, when 'tis spent, + If spent by my direction, to please my Husband, + I hold it as indifferent in my duty, + To be his maid i'th' kitchen, or his Cook, + As in the Hall to know my self the Mistris. + +Michael Perez: + + Sweet, rich, and provident, now fortune stick + To me; I am a Souldier, and a bachelour, Lady, + And such a wife as you, I cou'd love infinitely, + They that use many words, some are deceitfull, + I long to be a Husband, and a good one, + For 'tis most certain I shall make a president + For all that follow me to love their Ladies, + I am young you see, able I would have you think too, + If't please you know, try me before you take me. + 'Tis true I shall not meet in equal wealth + With ye, but Jewels, Chains, such as the war + Has given me, a thousand Duckets I dare + Presume on in ready gold, now as your + Care may handle it, as rich cloths too, as +181] Any he bears arms Lady. + +Estifania: + + You are a true gentleman, and fair, I see by ye, + And such a man I had rather take. + +Michael Perez: + + Pray do so, I'le have a Priest o'th' sudden. + +Estifania: + + And as suddenly you will repent too. + +Michael Perez: + + I'le be hang'd or drown'd first, + By this and this, and this kiss. + +Estifania: + + You are a Flatterer, + But I must say there was something when I saw you + First, in that most noble face, that stirr'd my fancy. + +Michael Perez: + + I'le stir it better e're you sleep sweet Lady, + I'le send for all my trunks and give up all to ye, + Into your own dispose, before I bed ye, + And then sweet wench. + +Estifania: + + You have the art to cozen me. + [Exeunt. + + + + + +Actus Secundus + + + + +Scena Prima + + [Enter _Margarita_, and two Ladies, and _Altea_.] + +Margarita: + + Sit down and give me your opinions seriously. + +1 Lady: + + You say you have a mind to marry Lady. + +Margarita: + + 'Tis true, I have for to preserve my credit, + Yet not so much for that as for my state Ladies, + Conceive me right, there lies the main o'th' question, + Credit I can redeem, mony will imp it, + But when my monie's gone, when the law shall + Seize that, and for incontinency strip me + Of all. + +1 Lady: + + Do you find your body so malitious that way? + +Margarita: + + I find it as all bodies are that are young and lusty, + Lazy, and high fed, I desire my pleasure, + And pleasure I must have. + +2 Lady: + + 'Tis fit you should have, + Your years require it, and 'tis necessary, + As necessary as meat to a young Lady, + Sleep cannot nourish more. + +1 Lady: + + But might not all this be, and keep ye single. + You take away variety in marriage, + The abundance of the pleasure you are bar'd then, +182] Is't not abundance that you aim at? + +Margarita: + + Yes why was I made a woman? + +2 Lady: + + And every day a new? + +Margarita: + + Why fair and young but to use it? + +1 Lady: + + You are still i'th' right, why would you marry then? + +Altea: + + Because a husband stops all doubts in this point, + And clears all passages. + +2 Lady: + + What Husband mean ye? + +Altea: + + A Husband of an easy faith, a fool, + Made by her wealth, and moulded to her pleasure, + One though he see himself become a monster, + Shall hold the door, and entertain the maker. + +2 Lady: + + You grant there may be such a man. + +1 Lady: + + Yes marry, but how to bring 'em to this rare Perfection. + +2 Lady: + + They must be chosen so, things of no honour, + Nor outward honesty. + +Margarita: + + No 'tis no matter, + I care not what they are, so they be lusty. + +2 Lady: + + Me thinks now a rich Lawyer, some such fellow, + That carries credit, and a face of awe, + But lies with nothing but his clients business. + +Margarita: + + No there's no trusting them, they are too subtil, + The Law has moulded 'em of natural mischief. + +1 Lady: + + Then some grave governor, + Some man of honour, yet an easy man. + +Margarita: + + If he have honour I am undone, I'le none such, + I'le have a lusty man, honour will cloy me..br + +Altea: + + 'Tis fit ye should Lady; + And to that end, with search and wit and labour, + I have found one out, a right one and a perfect, + He is made as strong as brass, is of brave years too, + And doughty of complexion. + +Margarita: + + Is he a Gentleman? + +Altea: + + Yes and a souldier, as gentle as you would wish him, + A good fellow, wears good cloaths. + +Margarita: + + Those I'le allow him, + They are for my credit, does he understand + But little? + +Altea: + + Very little. +183] + +Margarita: + + 'Tis the better, + Have not the wars bred him up to anger? + +Alonzo: + + No, he will not quarrel with a dog that bites hi[m], + Let him be drunk or sober, is one silence. + +Margarita: + + H'as no capacity what honor is? + For that's the Souldiers god. + +Altea: + + Honour's a thing too subtil for his wisdom, + If honour lye in eating, he is right honourable. + +Margarita: + + Is he so goodly a man do you say? + +Altea: + + As you shall see Lady, + But to all this is but a trunk. + +Margarita: + + I would have him so, + I shall adde branches to him to adorn him, + Goe, find me out this man, and let me see him, + If he be that motion that you tell me of, + And make no more noise, I shall entertain him, + Let him be here. + +Altea: + + He shall attend your Ladiship. + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Juan_, _Alonzo_, and _Perez_.] + +Juan de Castro: + + Why thou art not married indeed? + +Michael Perez: + + No, no, pray think so, + Alas I am a fellow of no reckoning, + Not worth a Ladies eye. + +Alonzo: + + Wou'dst thou steal a fortune, + And make none of all thy friends acquainted with it, + Nor bid us to thy wedding? + +Michael Perez: + + No indeed, + There was no wisdom in't, to bid an Artist, + An old seducer to a femal banquet, + I can cut up my pye without your instructions. + +Juan de Castro: + + Was it the wench i'th' veil? + +Michael Perez: + + Basto 'twas she, + The prettiest Rogue that e're you look'd upon, + The lovingst thief. + +Juan de Castro: + + And is she rich withal too? + +Michael Perez: + + A mine, a mine, there is no end of wealth Coronel, + I am an asse, a bashfull fool, prethee Coronel, + How do thy compa[ni]es fill now? + +Juan de Castro: + + You are merry Sir, +184] You intend a safer war at home belike now. + +Michael Perez: + + I do not think I shall fight much this year Coronel, + I find my self given to my ease a little, + I care not if I sell my foolish company, + They are things of hazard. + +Alonzo: + + How it angers me, + This fellow at first fight should win a Lady, + A rich young wench, and I that have consum'd + My time and art in searching out their subtleties, + Like a fool'd Alchymist blow up my hopes still? + When shall we come to thy house and be freely merry? + +Michael Perez: + + When I have manag'd her a little more, + I have an house to entertain an army. + +Alonzo: + + If thy wife be fair, thou wilt have few less + Come to thee. + +Michael Perez: + + But where they'l get entertainment is the point Signior. + I beat no Drum. + +Alonzo: + + You need none but her taber, + May be I'le march after a month or two, + To get me a fresh stomach. I find Coronel + A wantonness in wealth, methinks I agree not with, + 'Tis such a trouble to be married too, + And have a thousand things of great importance, + Jewels and plates, and fooleries molest me, + To have a mans brains whimsied with his wealth: + Before I walk'd contentedly. + + [Enter _Servant_.] + +Servant: + + My Mistris Sir is sick, because you are absent, + She mourns and will not eat. + +Michael Perez: + + Alas my Jewel, + Come I'le goe with thee, Gentlemen your fair leaves, + You see I am ti'd a little to my yoke, + Pray pardon me, would ye had both such loving wives. + +Juan de Castro: + + I thank ye + [Exit _Perez_, Servant. + + For your old boots, never be blank _Alonzo_, + Because this fellow has outstript thy fortune, + Tell me ten daies hence what he is, and how + The gracious state of matrimony stands with him, + Come, let's to dinner, when _Margarita_ comes +185] We'l visit both, it may be then your fortune. + + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Margarita_, _Altea_, and Ladies.] + +Margarita: + + Is he come? + +Altea: + + Yes Madam, h'as been here this half hour, + I have question'd him of all that you can ask him, + And find him as fit as you had made the man, + He will make the goodliest shadow for iniquity. + +Margarita: + + Have ye searcht him Ladies? + +Omnes: + + Is a man at all points, a likely man. + +Margarita: + + Call him in _Altea_. + [Exit _Lady_. + + [Enter _Leon_, _Altea_.] + + A man of a good presence, pray ye come this way, + Of a lusty body, is his mind so tame? + +Altea: + + Pray ye question him, and if you find him not + Fit for your purpose, shake him off, there's no harm + Done. + +Margarita: + + Can you love a young Lady? How he blushes! + +Altea: + + Leave twirling of your hat, and hold your head up, + And speak to'th' Lady. + +Leon: + + Yes, I think I can, + I must be taught, I know not what it means Madam. + +Margarita: + + You shall be taught, and can you when she pleases + Go ride abroad, and stay a week or two? + You shall have men and horses to attend ye, + And mony in your purse. + +Leon: + + Yes I love riding, + And when I am from home I am so merry. + +Margarita: + + Be as merry as you will: can you as handsomely + When you are sent for back, come with obedience, + And doe your dutie to the Lady loves you? + +Leon: + + Yes sure, I shall. + +Margarita: + + And when you see her friends here, + Or noble kinsmen, can you entertain + Their servants in the Celler, and be busied, + And hold your peace, what e're you see or hear of? + +Leon: + + 'Twere fit I were hang'd else. + +Margarita: + + Let me try your kisses, + How the fool shakes, I will not eat ye Sir, +186] Beshrew my heart he kisses wondrous manly, + Can ye doe any thing else? + +Leon: + + Indeed I know not; + But if your Ladiship will please to instruct me, + Sure I shall learn. + +Margarita: + + You shall then be instructed: + If I should be this Lady that affects ye, + Nay say I marry ye? + +Altea: + + Hark to the Lady. + +Margarita: + + What mony have ye? + +Leon: + + None Madam, nor friends, + I wou'd doe any thing to serve your Ladiship. + +Margarita: + + You must not look to be my Mr Sir, + Nor talk i'th' house as though you wore the breeches, + No, nor command in any thing. + +Leon: + + I will not, + Alas I am not able, I have no wit Madam. + +Margarita: + + Nor do not labour to arrive at any, + 'Twill spoil your head, I take ye upon charity, + And like a Servant ye must be unto me, + As I behold your duty I shall love ye, + And as you observe me, I may chance lye with ye, + Can you mark these? + +Leon: + + Yes indeed forsooth. + +Margarita: + + There is one thing, + That if I take ye in I put ye from me, + Utterly from me, you must not be sawcy, + No, nor at any time familiar with me, + Scarce know me, when I call ye not. + +Leon: + + I will not, alas I never knew my self sufficiently. + +Margarita: + + Nor must not now. + +Leon: + + I'le be a Dog to please ye. + +Margarita: + + Indeed you must fetch and carry as I appoint ye. + +Leon: + + I were to blame else. + +Margarita: + + Kiss me again; a strong fellow, + There is a vigor in his lips: if you see me + Kiss any other, twenty in an hour Sir, + You must not start, nor be offended. + +Leon: + + No, if you kiss a thousand I shall be contented, + It will the better teach me how to please ye. +187] + +Altea: + + I told ye Madam. + +Margarita: + + 'Tis the man I wisht for; the less you speak. + +Leon: + + I'le never speak again Madam, + But when you charge me, then I'le speak softly too. + +Margarita: + + Get me a Priest, I'le wed him instantly, + But when you are married Sir, you must wait + Upon me, and see you observe my laws. + +Leon: + + Else you shall hang me. + +Margarita: + + I'le give ye better clothes when you deserve 'em, + Come in, and serve for witness. + +Omnes: + + We shall Madam. + +Margarita: + + And then away toth' city presently, + I'le to my new house and new company. + +Leon: + + A thousand crowns are thine, and I am a made man. + +Altea: + + Do not break out too soon. + +Leon: + + I know my time wench. + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Clara_, and _Estifania_ with a paper.] + +Clara: + + What, have you caught him? + +Estifania: + + Yes. + +Clara: + + And do you find him + A man of those hopes that you aim'd at? + +Estifania: + + Yes too, + And the most kind man, and the ablest also + To give a wife content, he is sound as old wine, + And to his soundness rises on the pallat, + And there's the man; find him rich too _Clara_. + +Clara: + + Hast thou married him? + +Estifania: + + What dost thou think I fish without a bait wench? + I bob for fools? he is mine own, I have him, + I told thee what would tickle him like a trout, + And as I cast it so I caught him daintily, + And all he has I have 'stowed at my devotion. + +Clara: + + Does thy Lady know this? she is coming now to town, + Now to live here in this house. + +Estifania: + + Let her come, + She shall be welcom, I am prepar'd for her, + She is mad sure if she be angry at my fortune, + For what I have made bold. + +Clara: + + Dost thou not love him? +188] + +Estifania: + + Yes, intirely well, + As long as there he staies and looks no farther + Into my ends, but when he doubts, I hate him, + And that wise hate will teach me how to cozen him: + How to decline their wives, and curb their manners, + To put a stern and strong reyn to their natures, + And holds he is an Asse not worth acquaintance, + That cannot mould a Devil to obedience, + I owe him a good turn for these opinions, + And as I find his temper I may pay him, + + [Enter _Perez_.] + + O here he is, now you shall see a kind man. + +Michael Perez: + + My _Estifania_, shall we to dinner lamb? + I know thou stay'st for me. + +Estifania: + + I cannot eat else. + +Michael Perez: + + I never enter but me thinks a Paradise + Appears about me. + +Estifania: + + You are welcom to it Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + I think I have the sweetest seat in _Spain_ wench, + Me thinks the richest too, we'l eat i'th' garden + In one o'th' arbours, there 'tis cool and pleasant, + And have our wine cold in the running fountain. + Who's that? + +Estifania: + + A friend of mine Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + Of what breeding? + +Estifania: + + A Gentlewoman Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + What business has she? + Is she a learned woman i'th' Mathematicks, + Can she tell fortunes? + +Estifania: + + More than I know Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + Or has she e're a letter from a kinswoman, + That must be delivered in my absence wife, + Or comes she from the Doctor to salute ye, + And learn your health? she looks not like a confessor. + +Estifania: + + What need all this, why are you troubled Sir? + What do you suspect, she cannot cuckold ye, + She is a woman Sir, a very woman. + +Michael Perez: + + Your very woman may do very well Sir + Toward the matter, for though she cannot perform it +189] In her own person, she may do it by Proxie, + Your rarest jugglers work still by conspiracy. + +Estifania: + + Cry ye mercy husband, you are jealous then, + And happily suspect me. + +Michael Perez: + + No indeed wife. + +Estifania: + + Me thinks you should not till you have more cause + And clearer too: I am sure you have heard say husband, + A woman forced will free her self through Iron, + A happy, calm, and good wife discontented + May be taught tricks. + +Michael Perez: + + No, no, I do but jest with ye. + +Estifania: + + To morrow friend I'le see you. + +Clara: + + I shall leave ye + Till then, and pray all may goe sweetly with ye. + + [Exit. + +Estifania: + + Why where's this girle, whose at the door? + [Knock. + +Michael Perez: + + Who knocks there? + Is't for the King ye come, you knock so boisterously? + Look to the door. + + [Enter _Maid_.] + +Maid: + + My Lady, as I live Mistris, my Ladie's come, + She's at the door, I peept through, and I saw her, + And a stately company of Ladies with her. + +Estifania: + + This was a week too soon, but I must meet with her, + And set a new wheel going, and a subtile one, + Must blind this mighty _Mars_, or I am ruin'd. + +Michael Perez: + + What are they at door? + +Estifania: + + Such my _Michael_ + As you may bless the day they enter'd there, + Such for our good. + +Michael Perez: + + 'Tis well. + +Estifania: + + Nay, 'twill be better + If you will let me but dispose the business, + And be a stranger to it, and not disturb me, + What have I now to do but to advance your fortune? + +Michael Perez: + + Doe, I dare trust thee, I am asham'd I am angry, + I find thee a wise young wife. + +Estifania: + + I'le wise your worship + Before I leave ye, pray ye walk by and say nothing, + Only salute them, and leave the rest to me Sir, +190] I was born to make ye a man. + + [] + +Michael Perez: + + The Rogue speaks heartily, + Her good will colours in her cheeks, I am born to love her, + I must be gentler to these tender natures, + A Souldiers rude harsh words befit not Ladies, + Nor must we talk to them as we talk to + Our Officers, I'le give her way, for 'tis for me she + Works now, I am husband, heir, and all she has. + + [Enter _Margarita_, _Estifania_, _Leon_, _Altea_, and Ladies.] + + Who are these, what flanting things, a woman + Of rare presence! excellent fair, this is too big + For a bawdy house, too open seated too. + +Estifania: + + My Husband, Lady. + +Margarita: + + You have gain'd a proper man. + +Michael Perez: + + What e're I am, I am your servant Lady. + [kisses. + +Estifania: + + Sir, be rul'd now, + And I shall make ye rich, this is my cousin, + That Gentleman dotes on her, even to death, see how he observes her. + +Michael Perez: + + She is a goodly woman. + +Estifania: + + She is a mirrour, + But she is poor, she were for a Princes side else, + This house she has brought him too as to her own, + And presuming upon me, and upon my courtesie. + Conceive me short, he knows not but she is wealthy, + Or if he did know otherwise, 'twere all one, + He is so far gone. + +Michael Perez: + + Forward, she has a rare face. + +Estifania: + + This we must carry with discretion Husband, + And yield unto her for four daies. + +Michael Perez: + + Yield our house up, our goods and wealth? + +Estifania: + + All this is but in seeming, + To milk the lover on, do you see this writing, + 200_l_ a year when they are married + Has she sealed to for our good; the time's unfit now, + I'le shew it you to morrow. + +Michael Perez: + + All the house? + +Estifania: + + All, all, and we'l remove too, to confirm him, + They'l into th' country suddenly again + After they are matcht, and then she'l open to him. +191] + +Michael Perez: + + The whole possession wife? look what you doe, + A part o'th' house. + +Estifania: + + No, no, they shall have all, + And take their pleasure too, 'tis for our 'vantage. + Why, what's four daies? had you a Sister Sir, + A Niece or Mistris that required this courtesie, + And should I make a scruple to do you good? + +Michael Perez: + + If easily it would come back. + +Estifania: + + I swear Sir, + As easily as it came on, is't not pity + To let such a Gentlewoman for a little help-- + You give away no house. + +Michael Perez: + + Clear but that question. + +Estifania: + + I'le put the writings into your hand. + +Michael Perez: + + Well then. + +Estifania: + + And you shall keep them safe. + +Michael Perez: + + I am satisfied; wou'd I had the wench so too. + +Estifania: + + When she has married him, + So infinite his love is linkt unto her, + You, I, or any one that helps at this pinch + May have Heaven knows what. + +Michael Perez: + + I'le remove the goods straight, + And take some poor house by, 'tis but for four days. + +Estifania: + + I have a poor old friend; there we'l be. + +Michael Perez: + + 'Tis well then. + +Estifania: + + Goe handsom off, and leave the house clear. + +Michael Perez: + + Well. + +Estifania: + + That little stuff we'l use shall follow after; + And a boy to guide ye, peace and we are made both. + +Margarita: + + Come, let's goe in, are all the rooms kept sweet wench? + +Estifania: + + They are sweet and neat. + [Exit _Perez_. + +Margarita: + + Why where's your Husband? + +Estifania: + + Gone Madam. + When you come to your own he must give place Lady. + +Margarita: + + Well, send you joy, you would not let me know't, + Yet I shall not forget ye. + +Estifania: + + Thank your Ladyship. + [Exeunt. + + + + + +192] +Actus Tertius + + + + +Scena Prima. + + [Enter _Margarita_, _Altea_, and _Boy_.] + +Altea: + + Are you at ease now, is your heart at rest, + Now you have got a shadow, an _umbrella_ + To keep the scorching worlds opinion + From your fair credit. + +Margarita: + + I am at peace _Altea_, + If he continue but the same he shews, + And be a master of that ignorance + He outwardly professes, I am happy, + The pleasure I shall live in and the freedom + Without the squint-eye of the law upon me, + Or prating liberty of tongues, that envy. + +Altea: + + You are a made woman. + +Margarita: + + But if he should prove now + A crafty and dissembling kind of Husband, + One read in knavery, and brought up in the art + Of villany conceal'd. + +Altea: + + My life, an innocent. + +Margarita: + + That's it I aim at, + That's it I hope too, then I am sure I rule him, + For innocents are like obedient Children + Brought up under a hard Mother-in-law, a cruel, + Who being not us'd to break-fasts and collations, + When they have course bread offer'd 'em, are thankfull, + And take it for a favour too. Are the rooms + Made ready to entertain my friends? I long to dance now + And to be wanton; let me have a song, is the great couch up + The Duke of _Medina_ sent? + +Altea: + + 'Tis up and ready. + +Margarita: + + And day-beds in all chambers? + +Altea: + + In all Lady, + Your house is nothing now but various pleasures, + The Gallants begin to gaze too. + +Margarita: + + Let 'em gaze on, + I was brought up a Courtier, high and happy, + And company is my delight, and courtship, +193] And handsom servants at my will: where's my good husband, + Where does he wait? + +Altea: + + He knows his distance Madam, + I warrant ye he is busie in the celler + Amongst his fellow servants, or asleep, + Till your command awake him. + + [Enter _Leon_.] + +Margarita: + + 'Tis well _Altea_. + It should be so, my ward I must preserve him. + Who sent for him, how dare he come uncall'd for, + His bonnet on too? + +Altea: + + Sure he sees you not. + +Margarita: + + How scornfully he looks! + +Leon: + + Are all the chambers + Deckt and adorn'd thus for my Ladies pleasure? + New hangings every hour for entertainment, + And new plate bought, new Jewels to give lustre? + +Servant: + + They are, and yet there must be more and richer, + It is her will. + +Leon: + + Hum, is it so? 'tis excellent, + It is her will too, to have feasts and banquets, + Revells and masques. + +Servant: + + She ever lov'd 'em dearly, + And we shall have the bravest house kept now Sir, + I must not call ye master she has warn'd me, + Nor must not put my hat off to ye. + +Leon: + + 'Tis no fashion, + What though I be her husband, I am your fellow, + I may cut first. + +Servant: + + That's as you shall deserve Sir. + +Leon: + + And when I lye with her. + +Servant: + + May be I'le light ye, + On the same point you may doe me that service. + + [Enter _1 Lady_.] + +1 Lady: + + Madam, the Duke _Medina_ with some Captains + Will come to dinner, and have sent rare wine, + And their best services. + +Margarita: + + They shall be welcom, +194] See all be ready in the noblest fashion, + The house perfum'd, now I shall take my pleasure, + And not my neighbour Justice maunder at me. + Go, get your best cloths on, but till I call ye, + Be sure you be not seen, dine with the Gentlewomen, + And behave your self cleanly Sir, 'tis for my credit. + + [Enter _2 Lady_.] + +2 Lady: + + Madam, the Lady _Julia_. + +Leon: + + That's a bawd, + A three pil'd bawd, bawd major to the army. + +2 Lady: + + Has brought her coach to wait upon your Ladiship, + And to be inform'd if you will take the air this morning. + +Leon: + + The neat air of her nunnery. + +Margarita: + + Tell her no, i'th' afternoon I'le call on her. + +2 Lady: + + I will Madam. + [Exit. + +Margarita: + + Why are not you gone to prepare your self, + May be you shall be sewer to the fire course, + A portly presence, _Altea_ he looks lean, + 'Tis a wash knave, he will not keep his flesh well. + +Altea: + + A willing, Madam, one that needs no spurring. + +Leon: + + Faith madam, in my little understanding, + You had better entertain your honest neighbours, + Your friends about ye, that may speak well of ye, + And give a worthy mention of your bounty. + +Margarita: + + How now, what's this? + +Leon: + + 'Tis only to perswade ye, + Courtiers are but tickle things to deal withal, + A kind of march-pane men that will not last Madam, + An egge and pepper goes farther than their potions, + And in a well built body, a poor parsnip + Will play his prize above their strong potabiles. + +Margarita: + + The fellow's mad. + +Leon: + + He that shall counsel Ladies, + That have both liquorish and ambitious eyes, + Is either mad, or drunk, let him speak Gospel. + +Altea: + + He breaks out modestly. + +Leon: + + Pray ye be not angry, + My indiscretion has made bold to tell ye, + What you'l find true. +195] + +Margarita: + + Thou darest not talk. + +Leon: + + Not much Madam, + You have a tye upon your servants tongue, + He dares not be so bold as reason bids him, + 'Twere fit there were a stronger on your temper. + Ne're look so stern upon me, I am your Husband, + But what are Husbands? read the new worlds wonders, + Such Husbands as this monstrous world produces, + And you will scarce find such deformities, + They are shadows to conceal your venial vertues, + Sails to your mills, that grind with all occasions, + Balls that lye by you, to wash out your stains, + And bills nail'd up with horn before your stories, + To rent out last. + +Margarita: + + Do you hear him talk? + +Leon: + + I have done Madam, + An oxe once spoke, as learned men deliver, + Shortly I shall be such, then I'le speak wonders, + Till when I tye my self to my obedience. + + [Exit. + +Margarita: + + First I'le unty my self, did you mark the Gentleman, + How boldly and how sawcily he talk'd, + And how unlike the lump I took him for, + The piece of ignorant dow, he stood up to me + And mated my commands, this was your providence, + Your wisdom, to elect this Gentleman, + Your excellent forecast in the man, your knowledge, + What think ye now? + +Altea: + + I think him an Asse still, + This boldness some of your people have blown + Into him, this wisdom too with strong wine, + 'Tis a Tyrant, and a Philosopher also, and finds + Out reasons. + +Margarita: + + I'le have my celler lockt, no school kept there, + Nor no discovery. I'le turn my drunkards, + Such as are understanding in their draughts, + And dispute learnedly the whyes and wherefores, + To grass immediatly, I'le keep all fools, + Sober or drunk, still fools, that shall know nothing, + Nothing belongs to mankind, but obedience, + And such a hand I'le keep over this Husband. +196] + +Altea: + + He will fall again, my life he cryes by this time, + Keep him from drink, he has a high constitution. + + [Enter _Leon_.] + +Leon: + + Shall I wear my new sute Madam? + +Margarita: + + No your old clothes, + And get you into the country presently, + And see my hawks well train'd, you shall have victuals, + Such as are fit for sawcy palats Sir, + And lodgings with the hindes, it is too good too. + +Altea: + + Good Madam be not so rough, with repentance, + You see now he's come round again. + +Margarita: + + I see not what I expect to see. + +Leon: + + You shall see Madam, if it shall please your Ladyship. + +Altea: + + He's humbled, + Forgive good Lady, + +Margarita: + + Well go get you handsom, + And let me hear no more. + +Leon: + + Have ye yet no feeling? + I'le pinch ye to the bones then my proud Lady. + + [Exit. + +Margarita: + + See you preserve him thus upon my favour, + You know his temper, tye him to the grindstone, + The next rebellion I'le be rid of him, + I'le have no needy Rascals I tye to me, + Dispute my life: come in and see all handsom. + +Altea: + + I hope to see you so too, I have wrought ill else. + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Perez_.] + +Michael Perez: + + Shall I never return to mine own house again? + We are lodg'd here in the miserablest dog-hole, + A Conjurers circle gives content above it, + A hawks mew is a princely palace to it, + We have a bed no bigger than a basket, + And there we lie like butter clapt together, + And sweat our selves to sawce immediately, + The fumes are infinite inhabite here too; + And to that so thick, they cut like marmalet, + So various too, they'l pose a gold-finder, + Never return to mine own paradise? +197] Why wife I say, why _Estifania_. + +Estifania [within]: + + I am going presently. + +Michael Perez: + + Make haste good Jewel, + I am like the people that live in the sweet Islands: + I dye, I dye, if I stay but one day more here, + My lungs are rotten with the damps that rise, + And I cough nothing now but stinks of all sorts, + The inhabitants we have are two starv'd rats, + For they are not able to maintain a cat here, + And those appear as fearfull as two Devils, + They have eat a map of the whole world up already, + And if we stay a night we are gone for company. + There's an old woman that's now grown to marble, + Dri'd in this brick hill, and she sits i'th' chimnie, + Which is but three tiles rais'd like a house of cards, + The true proportion of an old smok'd Sibyl, + There is a young thing too that nature meant + For a maid-servant, but 'tis now a monster, + She has a husk about her like a chesnut + With basiness, and living under the line here, + And these two make a hollow sound together, + Like frogs or winds between two doors that murmur: + + [Enter _Estifania_.] + + Mercy deliver me. O are you come wife, + Shall we be free again? + +Estifania: + + I am now going, + And you shall presently to your own house Sir, + The remembrance of this small vexation + Will be argument of mirth for ever: + By that time you have said your orisons, + And broke your fast, I shall be back and ready, + To usher you to your old content, your freedom. + +Michael Perez: + + Break my neck rather, is there any thing here to eat + But one another, like a race of Cannibals? + A piece of butter'd wall you think is excellent, + Let's have our house again immediatly, + And pray ye take heed unto the furniture, + None be imbezil'd. + +Estifania: + + Not a pin I warrant ye. +198] + +Michael Perez: + + And let 'em instantly depart. + +Estifania: + + They shall both, + There's reason in all courtesies, they must both, + For by this time I know she has acquainted him, + And has provided too, she sent me word Sir, + And will give over gratefully unto you. + +Michael Perez: + + I'le walk i'th' Church-yard, + The dead cannot offend more than these living, + An hour hence I'le expect ye. + +Estifania: + + I'le not fail Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + And do you hear, let's have a handsom dinner, + And see all things be decent as they have been, + And let me have a strong bath to restore me, + I stink like a stal-fish shambles, or an oyl-shop. + +Estifania: + + You shall have all, which some interpret nothing, + I'le send ye people for the trunks afore-hand, + And for the stuff. + +Michael Perez: + + Let 'em be known and honest, + And do my service to your niece. + +Estifania: + + I shall Sir, + But if I come not at my hour, come thither, + That they may give you thanks for your fair courtesy, + And pray ye be brave for my sake. + +Michael Perez: + + I observe ye. + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Juan de Castro_, _Sancho_, and _Cacafogo_.] + +Sanchio: + + Thou art very brave. + +Cacafogo: + + I have reason, I have mony. + +Sanchio: + + Is mony reason? + +Cacafogo: + + Yes and rime too Captain, + If ye have no mony y'are an Asse. + +Sanchio: + + I thank ye. + +Cacafogo: + + Ye have manners, ever thank him that has mony. + +Sanchio: + + Wilt thou lend me any? + +Cacafogo: + + Not a farthing Captain, + Captains are casual things. + +Sanchio: + + Why so are all men, thou shalt have my bond. + +Cacafogo: + + Nor bonds nor fetters Captain, + My mony is mine, I make no doubt on't. + +Juan de Castro: + + What dost thou do with it? +199] + +Cacafogo: + + Put it to pious uses, + Buy Wine and Wenches, and undo young Coxcombs + That would undo me. + +Juan de Castro: + + Are those Hospitals? + +Cacafogo: + + I first provide to fill my Hospitals + With Creatures of mine own, that I know wretched, + And then I build: those are more bound to pray for me: + Besides, I keep th' inheritance in my Name still. + +Juan de Castro: + + A provident Charity; are you for the Wars, Sir? + +Cacafogo: + + I am not poor enough to be a Souldier, + Nor have I faith enough to ward a Bullet; + This is no lining for a trench, I take it. + +Juan de Castro: + + Ye have said wisely. + +Cacafogo: + + Had you but my money, + You would swear it Colonel, I had rather drill at home + A hundred thousand Crowns, and with more honour, + Than exercise ten thousand Fools with nothing, + A wise Man safely feeds, Fools cut their fingers. + +Sanchio: + + A right State Usurer; why dost thou not marry, + And live a reverend Justice? + +Cacafogo: + + Is't not nobler to command a reverend Justice, than to be one? + And for a Wife, what need I marry, Captain, + When every courteous Fool that owes me money, + Owes me his Wife too, to appease my fury? + +Juan de Castro: + + Wilt thou go to dinner with us? + +Cacafogo: + + I will go, and view the Pearl of _Spain_, the Orient + Fair One, the rich One too, and I will be respected, + I bear my Patent here, I will talk to her, + And when your Captain's Ships shall stand aloof, + And pick your Noses, I will pick the purse + Of her affection. + +Juan de Castro: + + The Duke dines there to day too, the Duke of _Medina_. + +Cacafogo: + + Let the King dine there, + He owes me money, and so far's my Creature, + And certainly I may make bold with mine own, Captain? + +Sanchio: + + Thou wilt eat monstrously. + +Cacafogo: + + Like a true born _Spaniard_, + Eat as I were in _England_ where the Beef grows, + And I will drink abundantly, and then + Talk ye as wantonly as _Ovid_ did, +200] To stir the Intellectuals of the Ladies; + I learnt it of my Father's amorous Scrivener. + +Juan de Castro: + + If we should play now, you must supply me. + +Cacafogo: + + You must pawn a Horse troop, + And then have at ye Colonel. + +Sanchio: + + Come, let's go: + This Rascal will make rare sport; how the Ladies + Will laugh at him? + +Juan de Castro: + + If I light on him I'll make his Purse sweat too. + +Cacafogo: + + Will ye lead, Gentlemen? + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Perez_, an old Woman, and Maid.] + +Michael Perez: + + Nay, pray ye come out, and let me understand ye, + And tune your pipe a little higher, Lady; + I'll hold ye fast: rub, how came my Trunks open? + And my Goods gone, what Pick-lock Spirit? + +Old Woman: + + Ha, what would ye have? + +Michael Perez: + + My Goods again, how came my Trunks all open? + +Old Woman: + + Are your Trunks open? + +Michael Perez: + + Yes, and Cloaths gone, + And Chains, and Jewels: how she smells like hung Beef, + The Palsey, and Picklocks, fye, how she belches, + The Spirit of Garlick. + +Old Woman: + + Where's your Gentlewoman? + The young fair Woman? + +Michael Perez: + + What's that to my question? + She is my wife, and gone about my business. + +Maid: + + Is she your Wife, Sir? + +Michael Perez: + + Yes Sir, is that wonder? + Is the name of Wife unknown here? + +Old Woman: + + Is she truly, truly your Wife? + +Michael Perez: + + I think so, for I married her; + It was no Vision sure! + +Maid: + + She has the Keys, Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + I know she has, but who has all my goods, Spirit? + +Old Woman: + + If you be married to that Gentlewoman, + You are a wretched man, she has twenty Husbands. + +Maid: + + She tells you true. + +Old Woman: + + And she has cozen'd all, Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + The Devil she has! I had a fair house with her, +201] That stands hard by, and furnisht royally. + +Old Woman: + + You are cozen'd too, 'tis none of hers, good Gentleman. + +Maid: + + The Lady _Margarita_, she was her Servant, + And kept the house, but going from her, Sir, + For some lewd tricks she plaid. + +Michael Perez: + + Plague o' the Devil, + Am I i'th' full Meridian of my Wisedom + Cheated by a stale Quean! what kind of Lady + Is that that owes the House? + +Old Woman: + + A young sweet Lady. + +Michael Perez: + + Of a low stature? + +Old Woman: + + She is indeed but little, but she is wondrous fair. + +Michael Perez: + + I feel I am cozen'd; + Now I am sensible I am undone, + This is the very Woman sure, that Cousin + She told me would entreat but for four days, + To make the house hers; I am entreated sweetly. + +Maid: + + When she went out this morning, that I saw, Sir, + She had two Women at the door attending, + And there she gave 'em things, and loaded 'em, + But what they were--I heard your Trunks to open, + If they be yours? + +Michael Perez: + + They were mine while they were laden, + But now they have cast their Calves, they are not worth + Owning: was she her Mistress say you? + +Old Woman: + + Her own Mistress, her very Mistress, Sir, and all you saw + About and in that house was hers. + +Michael Perez: + + No Plate, no Jewels, nor no Hangings? + +Maid: + + Not a farthing, she is poor, Sir, a poor shifting thing. + +Michael Perez: + + No money? + +Old Woman: + + Abominable poor, as poor as we are, + Money as rare to her unless she steal it, + But for one civil Gown her Lady gave her, + She may go bare, good Gentlewoman. + +Michael Perez: + + I am mad now, + I think I am as poor as she, I am wide else, + One civil Sute I have left too, and that's all, + And if she steal that she must fley me for it; + Where does she use? + +Old Woman: + + You may find truth as soon, +202] Alas, a thousand conceal'd corners, Sir, she lurks in. + And here she gets a fleece, and there another, + And lives in mists and smoaks where none can find her. + +Michael Perez: + + Is she a Whore too? + +Old Woman: + + Little better, Gentleman, I dare not say she is so Sir, because + She is yours, Sir, these five years she has firkt + A pretty Living, + Until she came to serve; I fear he will knock my + Brains out for lying. + +Michael Perez: + + She has serv'd me faithfully, + A Whore and Thief? two excellent moral learnings + In one she-Saint, I hope to see her legend. + Have I been fear'd for my discoveries, + And courted by all Women to conceal 'em? + Have I so long studied the art of this Sex, + And read the warnings to young Gentlemen? + Have I profest to tame the Pride of Ladies, + And make 'em bear all tests, and am I trickt now? + Caught in mine own nooze? here's a royal left yet, + There's for your lodging and your meat for this Week. + A silk Worm lives at a more plentiful ordinary, + And sleeps in a sweeter Box: farewel great Grandmother, + If I do find you were an accessary, + 'Tis but the cutting off too smoaky minutes, + I'll hang ye presently. + +Old Woman: + + And I deserve it, I tell but truth. + +Michael Perez: + + Not I, I am an Ass, Mother. + [Exeunt. + + [Enter the Duke of _Medina_, _Juan de Castro_, _Alonzo_, _Sanchio_, +_Cacafogo_. Attendants.] + +Duke of Medina: + + A goodly house. + +Juan de Castro: + + And richly furnisht too, Sir. + +Alonzo: + + Hung wantonly, I like that preparation, + It stirs the blood unto a hopeful Banquet, + And intimates the Mistress free and jovial, + I love a house where pleasure prepares welcome. + +Duke of Medina: + + Now Cacafogo, how like you this mansion? + 'Twere a brave Pawn. + +Cacafogo: + + I shall be master of it, + 'Twas built for my bulk, the rooms are wide and spacious, +203] Airy and full of ease, and that I love well, + I'll tell you when I taste the Wine, my Lord, + And take the height of her Table with my Stomach, + How my affections stand to the young Lady. + + [Enter _Margarita_, _Altea_, Ladies, and Servants.] + +Margarita: + + All welcome to your Grace, and to these Souldiers, + You honour my poor house with your fair presence, + Those few slight pleasures that inhabit here, Sir, + I do beseech your Grace command, they are yours, + Your servant but preserves 'em to delight ye. + +Duke of Medina: + + I thank ye Lady, I am bold to visit ye, + Once more to bless mine eyes with your sweet Beauty, + 'T has been a long night since you left the Court, + For till I saw you now, no day broke to me. + +Margarita: + + Bring in the Dukes meat. + +Sanchio: + + She is most excellent. + +Juan de Castro: + + Most admirable fair as e'r I look'd upon, + I had rather command her than my Regiment. + +Cacafogo: + + I'll have a fling, 'tis but a thousand Duckets, + Which I can cozen up again in ten days, + And some few Jewels to justifie my Knavery, + Say, I should marry her, she'll get more money + Than all my Usury, put my Knavery to it, + She appears the most infallible way of Purchase, + I you'd wish her a size or two stronger for the encounter, + For I am like a Lion where I lay hold, + But these Lambs will endure a plaguy load, + And never bleat neither, that Sir, time has taught us, + I am so vertuous now, I cannot speak to her, + The arrant'st shamefac'd Ass, I broil away too. + + [Enter _Leon_.] + +Margarita: + + Why, where's this dinner? + +Leon: + + 'Tis not ready, Madam, + Nor shall not be until I know the Guests too, + Nor are they fairly welcome till I bid 'em. + +Juan de Castro: + + Is not this my _Alferes_? he looks another thing; + Are miracles afoot again? + +Margarita: + + Why, Sirrah, why Sirrah, you? +204] + +Leon: + + I hear you, saucy Woman, + And as you are my Wife, command your absence, + And know your duty, 'tis the Crown of modesty. + +Duke of Medina: + + Your Wife? + +Leon: + + Yes good my Lord, I am her Husband, + And pray take notice that I claim that honour, + And will maintain it. + +Cacafogo: + + It thou beest her Husband, + I am determin'd thou shalt be my Cuckold, + I'll be thy faithful friend. + +Leon: + + Peace, dirt and dunghil, + I will not lose my anger on a Rascal, + Provoke me more, I'll beat thy blown body + Till thou rebound'st again like a Tennis-Ball. + +Alonzo: + + This is miraculous. + +Sanchio: + + Is this the Fellow + That had the patience to become a Fool, + A flurted Fool, and on a sudden break, + As if he would shew a wonder to the World, + Both in Bravery, and Fortune too? + I much admire the man, I am astonisht. + +Margarita: + + I'll be divorced immediately. + +Leon: + + You shall not, + You shall not have so much will to be wicked. + I am more tender of your honour, Lady, + And of your Age, you took me for a shadow; + You took me to gloss over your discredit, + To be your Fool, you had thought you had found a Coxcomb; + I am innocent of any foul dishonour I mean to ye. + Only I will be known to be your Lord now, + And be a fair one too, or I will fall for't. + +Margarita: + + I do command ye from me, thou poor fellow, + Thou cozen'd Fool. + +Leon: + + Thou cozen'd Fool? 'tis not so, + I will not be commanded: I am above ye: + You may divorce me from your favour, Lady, + But from your state you never shall, I'll hold that, + And then maintain your wantonness, I'll wink at it. + +Margarita: + + Am I braved thus in mine own house? + +Leon: + + 'Tis mine, Madam, +205] You are deceiv'd, I am Lord of it, I rule it and all that's in't; + You have nothing to do here, Madam; + But as a Servant to sweep clean the Lodgings, + And at my farther will to do me service, + And so I'll keep it. + +Margarita: + + As you love me, give way. + +Leon: + + It shall be better, + I will give none, Madam, + I stand upon the ground of mine own Honour, + And will maintain it, you shall know me now + To be an understanding feeling man, + And sensible of what a Woman aims at, + A young proud Woman that has Will to sail with, + An itching Woman, that her blood provokes too, + I cast my Cloud off, and appear my self, + The master of this little piece of mischief, + And I will put a Spell about your feet, Lady, + They shall not wander but where I give way now. + +Duke of Medina: + + Is this the Fellow that the People pointed at, + For the meer sign of man, the walking Image? + He speaks wondrous highly. + +Leon: + + As a Husband ought, Sir, + In his own house, and it becomes me well too, + I think your Grace would grieve if you were put to it + To have a Wife or Servant of your own, + (For Wives are reckon'd in the rank of Servants,) + Under your own roof to command ye. + +Juan de Castro: + + Brave, a strange Conversion, thou shalt lead + In chief now. + +Duke of Medina: + + Is there no difference betwixt her and you, Sir? + +Leon: + + Not now, Lord, my Fortune makes me even, + And as I am an honest man, I am nobler. + +Margarita: + + Get me my Coach. + +Leon: + + Let me see who dares get it + Till I command, I'll make him draw your Coach too, + And eat your Coach, (which will be hard diet) + That executes your Will; or take your Coach, Lady, + I give you liberty, and take your People + Which I turn off, and take your Will abroad with ye, + Take all these freely, but take me no more, +206] And so farewel. + +Duke of Medina: + + Nay, Sir, you shall not carry it + So bravely off, you shall not wrong a Lady + In a high huffing strain, and think to bear it, + We stand not by as Bawds to your brave fury, + To see a Lady weep. + +Leon: + + They are tears of anger, I beseech ye note 'em, not worth pity, + Wrung from her rage, because her Will prevails not, + She would swound now if she could not cry, + Else they were excellent, and I should grieve too, + But falling thus, they show nor sweet nor orient. + Put up my Lord, this is oppression, + And calls the Sword of Justice to relieve me, + The law to lend her hand, the King to right me, + All which shall understand how you provoke me, + In mine own house to brave me, is this princely? + Then to my Guard, and if I spare your Grace, + And do not make this place your Monument, + Too rich a Tomb for such a rude behaviour, + I have a Cause will kill a thousand of ye, mercy forsake me. + +Juan de Castro: + + Hold, fair Sir, I beseech ye, + The Gentleman but pleads his own right nobly. + +Leon: + + He that dares strike against the husbands freedom, + The Husbands Curse stick to him, a tam'd Cuckold, + His Wife be fair and young, but most dishonest, + Most impudent, and have no feeling of it, + No conscience to reclaim her from a Monster, + Let her lye by him like a flattering ruine, + And at one instant kill both Name and Honour, + Let him be lost, no eye to weep his end, + Nor find no earth that's base enough to bury him. + Now Sir, fall on, I am ready to oppose ye. + +Duke of Medina: + + I have better thought, I pray Sir use your Wife well. + +Leon: + + Mine own humanity will teach me that, Sir, + And now you are all welcome, all, and we'll to dinner, + This is my Wedding-day. + +Duke of Medina: + + I'll cross your joy yet. + +Juan de Castro: + + I made seen a miracle, hold thine own, Souldier, + Sure they dare fight in fire that conquer Women. + +Sanchio: + + H'as beaten all my loose thoughts out of me, +207] As if he had thresht 'em out o'th' husk. + + [Enter _Perez_.] + +Michael Perez: + + 'Save ye, which is the Lady of the house? + +Leon: + + That's she, Sir, that pretty Lady, + If you would speak with her. + +Juan de Castro: + + _Don Michael_, _Leon_, another darer come. + +Michael Perez: + + Pray do not know me, I am full of business, + When I have more time I'll be merry with ye. + It is the Woman: good Madam, tell me truly, + Had you a Maid call'd _Estifania_? + +Margarita: + + Yes truly, had I. + +Michael Perez: + + Was she a Maid do you think? + +Margarita: + + I dare not swear for her, + For she had but a scant Fame. + +Michael Perez: + + Was she your Kinswoman? + +Margarita: + + Not that I ever knew, now I look better + I think you married her, 'give you joy, Sir, + You may reclaim her, 'twas a wild young Girl. + +Michael Perez: + + Give me a halter: is not this house mine, Madam? + Was not she owner of it, pray speak truly? + +Margarita: + + No, certainly, I am sure my money paid for it, + And I ne'r remember yet I gave it you, Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + The Hangings and the Plate too? + +Margarita: + + All are mine, Sir, + And every thing you see about the building, + She only kept my house when I was absent, + And so ill kept it, I was weary of her. + +Sanchio: + + What a Devil ails he? + +Juan de Castro: + + He's possest I'll assure you. + +Michael Perez: + + Where is your Maid? + +Margarita: + + Do not you know that have her? + She is yours now, why should I look after her? + Since that first hour I came I never saw her. + +Michael Perez: + + I saw her later, would the Devil had had her, + It is all true I find, a wild-fire take her. + +Juan de Castro: + + Is thy Wife with Child, _Don Michael_? thy excellent wife. + Art thou a Man yet? + +Alonzo: + + When shall we come and visit thee? + +Sanchio: + + And eat some rare fruit? thou hast admirable Orchards, +208] You are so jealous now, pox o' your jealousie, + How scurvily you look! + +Michael Perez: + + Prithee leave fooling, + I am in no humour now to fool and prattle, + Did she ne'r play the wag with you? + +Margarita: + + Yes many times, so often that I was asham'd to keep her, + But I forgave her, Sir, in hope she would mend still, + And had not you o'th' instant married her, + I had put her off. + +Michael Perez: + + I thank ye, I am blest still, + Which way so e'r I turn I am a made man, + Miserably gull'd beyond recovery. + +Juan de Castro: + + You'll stay and dine? + +Michael Perez: + + Certain I cannot, Captain, + Hark in thine ear, I am the arrantst Puppy, + The miserablest Ass, but I must leave ye, + I am in haste, in haste, bless you, good Madam, + And you prove as good as my Wife. + + [Exit. + +Leon: + + Will you come near, Sir, will your Grace but honour me, + And taste our dinner? you are nobly welcome, + All anger's past I hope, and I shall serve ye. + +Juan de Castro: + + Thou art the stock of men, and I admire thee. + [Ex. + + + + + +Actus Quartus + + + + +Scena Prima. + + [Enter _Perez_.] + +Michael Perez: + + I'll go to a Conjurer but I'll find this Pol-cat, + This pilfering Whore: a plague of Vails, I cry, + And covers for the impudence of Women, + Their sanctity in show will deceive Devils, + It is my evil Angel, let me bless me. + + [Enter _Estifania_ with a Casket.] + +Estifania: + + 'Tis he, I am caught, I must stand to it stoutly, + And show no shake of fear, I see he is angry, + Vext at the uttermost. + +Michael Perez: + + My worthy Wife, + I have been looking of your modesty + All the town over. +209] + +Estifania: + + My most noble Husband, + I am glad I have found ye, for in truth I am weary, + Weary and lame with looking out your Lordship. + +Michael Perez: + + I have been in Bawdy Houses. + +Estifania: + + I believe you, and very lately too. + +Michael Perez: + + 'Pray you pardon me, + To seek your Ladyship, I have been in Cellars, + In private Cellars, where the thirsty Bawds + Hear your Confessions; I have been at Plays, + To look you out amongst the youthful Actors, + At Puppet Shews, you are Mistress of the motions, + At Gossippings I hearkned after you, + But amongst those Confusions of lewd Tongues + There's no distinguishing beyond a Babel. + I was amongst the Nuns because you sing well, + But they say yours are Bawdy Songs, they mourn for ye, + And last I went to Church to seek you out, + 'Tis so long since you were there, they have forgot you. + +Estifania: + + You have had a pretty progress, I'll tell mine now: + To look you out, I went to twenty Taverns. + +Michael Perez: + + And are you sober? + +Estifania: + + Yes, I reel not yet, Sir, + Where I saw twenty drunk, most of 'em Souldiers, + There I had great hope to find you disguis'd too. + From hence to th' dicing-house, there I found + Quarrels needless, and senceless, Swords and Pots, and Candlesticks, + Tables and Stools, and all in one confusion, + And no man knew his Friend. I left this _Chaos_, + And to the Chirurgions went, he will'd me stay, + For says he learnedly, if he be tipled, + Twenty to one he whores, and then I hear of him, + If he be mad, he quarrels, then he comes too. + I sought ye where no safe thing would have ventur'd, + Amongst diseases, base and vile, vile Women, + For I remembred your old Roman axiom, + The more the danger, still the more the Honour. + Last, to your Confessor I came, who told me, + You were too proud to pray, and here I have found ye. + +Michael Perez: + + She bears up bravely, and the Rogue is witty, + But I shall dash it instantly to nothing. +210] Here leave we off our wanton languages, + And now conclude we in a sharper tongue. + +Estifania: + + Why am I cozen'd? + Why am I abused? + +Michael Perez: + + Thou most vile, base, abominable-- + +Estifania: + + Captain. + +Michael Perez: + + Thou stinking, overstew'd, poor, pocky-- + +Estifania: + + Captain. + +Michael Perez: + + Do you echo me? + +Estifania: + + Yes Sir, and go before ye, + And round about ye, why do you rail at me + For that that was your own sin, your own knavery? + +Michael Perez: + + And brave me too? + +Estifania: + + You had best now draw your Sword, Captain! + Draw it upon a Woman, do, brave Captain, + Upon your Wife, Oh most renowned Captain. + +Michael Perez: + + A Plague upon thee, answer me directly; + Why didst thou marry me? + +Estifania: + + To be my Husband; + I had thought you had had infinite, but I'm cozen'd. + +Michael Perez: + + Why didst thou flatter me, and shew me wonders? + A house and riches, when they are but shadows, + Shadows to me? + +Estifania: + + Why did you work on me + (It was but my part to requite you, Sir) + With your strong Souldiers wit, and swore you would bring me + So much in Chains, so much in Jewels, Husband, + So much in right rich Cloaths? + +Michael Perez: + + Thou hast 'em, Rascal; + I gave 'em to thy hands, my trunks and all, + And thou hast open'd 'em, and sold my treasure. + +Estifania: + + Sir, there's your treasure, sell it to a Tinker + To mend old Kettles, is this noble Usage? + Let all the World view here the Captain's treasure, + A Man would think now, these were worthy matters; + Here's a shooing-horn Chain gilt over, how it scenteth + Worse than the mouldy durty heel it served for: + And here's another of a lesser value, + So little I would shame to tye my Dog in't, + These are my joynture, blush and save a labour, +211] Or these else will blush for ye. + +Michael Perez: + + A fire subtle ye, are ye so crafty? + +Estifania: + + Here's a goodly jewel, + Did not you win this at Goletta, Captain, + Or took it in the field from some brave _Bashaw_ + How it sparkles like an old Ladies eyes, + And fills each room with light like a close Lanthorn! + This would do rarely in an Abbey Window, + To cozen Pilgrims. + +Michael Perez: + + P[r]ithee leave prating. + +Estifania: + + And here's a Chain of Whitings eyes for pearls, + A Muscle-monger would have made a better. + +Michael Perez: + + Nay, prithee wife, my Cloaths, my Cloaths. + +Estifania: + + I'll tell ye, + Your Cloaths are parallels to these, all counterfeit. + Put these and them on, you are a Man of Copper, + A kind of Candlestick; these you thought, my Husband, + To have cozen'd me withall, but I am quit with you. + +Michael Perez: + + Is there no house then, nor no grounds about it? + No plate nor hangings? + +Estifania: + + There are none, sweet Husband, + Shadow for shadow is as equal justice. + Can you rail now? pray put up your fury, Sir, + And speak great words, you are a Souldier, thunder. + +Michael Perez: + + I will speak little, I have plaid the Fool, + And so I am rewarded. + +Estifania: + + You have spoke well, Sir, + And now I see you are so conformable + I'll heighten you again, go to your house, + They are packing to be gone, you must sup there, + I'll meet ye, and bring Cloaths, and clean Shirts after, + And all things shall be well, I'll colt you once more, + And teach you to bring Copper. + +Michael Perez: + + Tell me one thing, + I do beseech thee tell me, tell me truth, Wife, + However I forgive thee, art thou honest? + The Beldam swore. + +Estifania: + + I bid her tell you so, Sir, + It was my plot, alas my credulous Husband, + The Lady told you too. +212] + +Michael Perez: + + Most strange things of thee. + +Estifania: + + Still 'twas my way, and all to try your sufferance, + And she denied the House. + +Michael Perez: + + She knew me not, + No, nor no title that I had. + +Estifania: + + 'Twas well carried; + No more, I am right and straight. + +Michael Perez: + + I would believe thee, + But Heaven knows how my heart is, will ye follow me? + +Estifania: + + I'll be there straight. + +Michael Perez: + + I am fooled, yet dare not find it. + [Exit _Perez_. + +Estifania: + + Go silly Fool, thou mayst be a good Souldier + In open field, but for our private service + Thou art an Ass, I'll make thee so, or miss else. + + [Enter _Cacafogo_.] + + Here comes another Trout that I must tickle, + And tickle daintily, I have lost my end else. + May I crave your leave, Sir? + +Cacafogo: + + Prithee be answered, thou shalt crave no leave, + I am in my meditations, do not vex me, + A beaten thing, but this hour a most bruised thing, + That people had compassion on it, looked so, + The next Sir Palmerin, here's fine proportion, + An Ass, and then an Elephant, sweet Justice, + There's no way left to come at her now, no craving, + If money could come near, yet I would pay him; + I have a mind to make him a huge Cuckold, + And money may do much, a thousand Duckets, + 'Tis but the letting blood of a rank Heir. + +Estifania: + + 'Pray you hear me. + +Cacafogo: + + I know thou hast some wedding Ring to pawn now, + Of Silver and gilt, with a blind posie in't, + Love and a Mill-horse should go round together, + Or thy Childs whistle, or thy Squirrels Chain, + I'll none of 'em, I would she did but know me, + Or would this Fellow had but use of money, + That I might come in any way. + +Estifania: + + I am gone, Sir, + And I shall tell the beauty sent me to ye, +213] The Lady _Margarita._ + +Cacafogo: + + Stay I prithee, + What is thy will? I turn me wholly to ye, + And talk now till thy tongue ake, I will hear ye. + +Estifania: + + She would entreat you, Sir, + +Cacafogo: + + She shall command, Sir, + Let it be so, I beseech thee, my sweet Gentlewoman, + Do not forget thy self. + +Estifania: + + She does command then + This courtesie, because she knows you are noble. + +Cacafogo: + + Your Mistress by the way? + +Estifania: + + My natural mistress, + Upon these Jewels, Sir, they are fair and rich, + And view 'em right. + +Cacafogo: + + To doubt 'em is an heresie. + +Estifania: + + A thousand Duckets, 'tis upon necessity + Of present use, her husband, Sir, is stubborn. + +Cacafogo: + + Long may he be so. + +Estifania: + + She desires withal a better knowledge of your parts and person, + And when you please to do her so much honour. + +Cacafogo: + + Come, let's dispatch. + +Estifania: + + In troth I have heard her say, Sir, + Of a fat man she has not seen a sweeter. + But in this business, Sir. + +Cacafogo: + + Let's do it first + And then dispute, the Ladies use may long for't. + +Estifania: + + All secrecy she would desire, she told me + How wise you are. + +Cacafogo: + + We are not wise to talk thus, + Carry her the gold, I'le look her out a Jewel, + Shall sparkle like her eyes, and thee another, + Come prethee come, I long to serve thy Lady, + Long monstrously, now valor I shall meet ye, + You that dare Dukes. + +Estifania: + + Green goose you are now in sippets. + [Exeunt. + + [Enter the Duke, _Sanchio_, _Juan_, _Alonzo_.] + +Duke of Medina: + + He shall not have his will, I shall prevent him, + I have a toy here that will turn the tide, + And suddenly, and strangely, hear _Don Juan,_ +214] Do you present it to him. + +Juan de Castro: + + I am commanded. + [Exit. + +Duke of Medina: + + A fellow founded out of Charity, + And moulded to the height contemn his maker, + Curb the free hand that fram'd him? This must not be. + +Sanchio: + + That such an oyster shell should hold a pearl, + And of so rare a price in prison, + Was she made to be the matter of her own undoing, + To let a slovenly unweildy fellow, + Unruly and self will'd, dispose her beauties? + We suffer all Sir in this sad Eclipse, + She should shine where she might show like her self, + An absolute sweetness, to comfort those admire her, + And shed her beams upon her friends. + We are gull'd all, + And all the world will grumble at your patience, + If she be ravish't thus. + +Duke of Medina: + + Ne'r fear it _Sanchio_, + We'I have her free again, and move at Court + In her clear orb: but one sweet handsomeness, + To bless this part of _Spain_, and have that slubber'd? + +Alonzo: + + 'Tis every good mans cause, and we must stir in it. + +Duke of Medina: + + I'le warrant he shall be glad to please us, + And glad to share too, we shall hear anon + A new song from him, let's attend a little. + + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Leon_, and _Juan_, with a commission.] + +Leon: + + Coronel, I am bound to you for this nobleness, + I should have been your officer, 'tis true Sir, + And a proud man I should have been to have serv'd you, + 'T has pleas'd the King out of his boundless favours, + To make me your companion, this commission + Gives me a troop of horse. + +Juan de Castro: + + I do rejoyce at it, + And am a glad man we shall gain your company, + I am sure the King knows you are newly married, + And out of that respect gives you more time Sir. + +Leon: + + Within four daies I am gone, so he commands me, + And 'tis not mannerly for me to argue it, + The time grows shorter still, are your goods ready? +215] + +Juan de Castro: + + They are aboard. + +Leon: + + Who waits there? + + [Enter _Servant_.] + +Servant: + + Sir. + +Leon: + + Do you hear ho, go carry this unto your Mistris Sir, + And let her see how much the King has honour'd me, + Bid her be lusty, she must make a Souldier. + + [Exit. + + [Enter _Lorenzo_.] + +Lorenzo: + + Sir, + Go take down all the hangings, + And pack up all my cloths, my plate and Jewels, + And all the furniture that's portable, + Sir when we lye in garrison, 'tis necessary + We keep a handsom port, for the Kings honour; + And do you hear, let all your Ladies wardrobe + Be safely plac'd in trunks, they must along too. + +Lorenzo: + + Whither must they goe Sir? + +Leon: + + To the wars, _Lorenzo_, + And you and all, I will not leave a turn-spit, + That has one dram of spleen against a Dutchman. + +Lorenzo: + + Why then _St Jaques_ hey, you have made us all Sir, + And if we leave ye--does my Lady goe too? + +Leon: + + The stuff must goe to morrow towards the sea Sir, + All, all must goe. + +Lorenzo: + + Why _Pedro_, _Vasco_, _Dego_, + Come help me, come come boys, soldadocs, comrades, + We'l fley these beer-bellied rogues, come away quickly. + + [Exit. + +Juan de Castro: + + H'as taken a brave way to save his honour, + And cross the Duke, now I shall love him dearly, + By the life of credit thou art a noble Gentleman. + + [Enter _Margarita_, led by two Ladies.] + +Leon: + + Why how now wife, what, sick at my preferment? + This is not kindly done. + +Margarita: + + No sooner love ye, + Love ye intirely Sir, brought to consider + The goodness of your mind and mine own duty, + But lose you instantly, be divorc'd from ye? +216] This is a cruelty, I'le to the King + And tell him 'tis unjust to part two souls, + Two minds so nearly mixt. + +Leon: + + By no means sweet heart. + +Margarita: + + If he were married but four daies as I am. + +Leon: + + He would hang himself the fifth, or fly his Country. + +Margarita: + + He would make it treason for that tongue that durst + But talk of war, or any thing to vex him, + You shall not goe. + +Leon: + + Indeed I must sweet wife, + What shall I lose the King for a few kisses? + We'l have enough. + +Margarita: + + I'le to the Duke my cousin, he shall to th' King. + +Leon: + + He did me this great office, + I thank his grace for't, should I pray him now, + To undoe't again? fye 'twere a base discredit. + +Margarita: + + Would I were able Sir to bear you company, + How willing should I be then, and how merry! + I will not live alone. + +Leon: + + Be in peace, you shall not. + [knock within. + +Margarita: + + What knocking's this? oh Heaven my head, why rascals + I thin[k] the war's begun i'th' house already. + +Leon: + + The preparation is, they are taking down, + And packing up the hangings, plate and Jewels, + And all those furnitures that shall befit me + When I lye in garrison. + + [Enter _Coachman_.] + +Coachman: + + Must the Coach goe too Sir? + +Leon: + + How will your Lady pass to th' sea else easily? + We shall find shipping for't there to transport it. + +Margarita: + + I goe? alas! + +Leon: + + I'le have a main care of ye, + I know ye are sickly, he shall drive the easier, + And all accommodation shall attend ye. + +Margarita: + + Would I were able. + +Leon: + + Come I warrant ye, + Am not I with ye sweet? are her cloaths packt up, + And all her linnen? give your maids direction, + You know my time's but short, and I am commanded. +217] + +Margarita: + + Let me have a nurse, + And all such necessary people with me, + And an easie bark. + +Leon: + + It shall not trot I warrant ye, + Curvet it may sometimes. + +Margarita: + + I am with child Sir. + +Leon: + + At four days warning? this is something speedy, + Do you conceive as our jennets do with a west winde? + My heir will be an arrant fleet one Lady, + I'le swear you were a maid when I first lay with ye. + +Margarita: + + Pray do not swear, I thought I was a maid too, + But we may both be cozen'd in that point Sir. + +Leon: + + In such a strait point sure I could not err Madam. + +Juan de Castro: + + This is another tenderness to try him, + Fetch her up now. + +Margarita: + + You must provide a cradle, and what a troubles that? + +Leon: + + The sea shall rock it, + 'Tis the best nurse; 'twill roar and rock together, + A swinging storm will sing you such a lullaby. + +Margarita: + + Faith let me stay, I shall but shame ye Sir. + +Leon: + + And you were a thousand shames you shall along with me, + At home I am sure you'l prove a million, + Every man carries the bundle of his sins + Upon his own back, you are mine, I'le sweat for ye. + + [Enter Duke, _Alonzo_, _Sanchio_.] + +Duke of Medina: + + What Sir, preparing for your noble journey? + 'Tis well, and full of care. + I saw your mind was wedded to the war, + And knew you would prove some good man for your country, + Therefore fair Cousin with your gentle pardon, + I got this place: what, mourn at his advancement? + You are to blame, he will come again sweet cousin, + Mean time like sad _Penelope_ and sage, + Amongst your maids at home, and huswifely. + +Leon: + + No Sir, I dare not leave her to that solitariness, + She is young, and grief or ill news from those quarters + May daily cross her, she shall goe along Sir. + +Duke of Medina: + + By no means Captain. + +Leon: + + By all means an't please ye. +218] + +Duke of Medina: + + What take a young and tender bodied Lady, + And expose her to those dangers, and those tumults, + A sickly Lady too? + +Leon: + + 'Twill make her well Sir, + There's no such friend to health as wholsom travel. + +Sanchio: + + Away it must not be. + +Alonzo: + + It ought not Sir, + Go hurry her? it is not humane, Captain. + +Duke of Medina: + + I cannot blame her tears, fright her with tempests, + With thunder of the war. + I dare swear if she were able. + +Leon: + + She is most able. + And pray ye swear not, she must goe, there's no remedy, + Nor greatness, nor the trick you had to part us, + Which I smell too rank, too open, too evident + (And I must tell you Sir, 'tis most unnoble) + Shall hinder me: had she but ten hours life, + Nay less, but two hours, I would have her with me, + I would not leave her fame to so much ruine, + To such a desolation and discredit + As her weakness and your hot will wou'd work her to. + + [Enter _Perez_.] + + What Masque is this now? + More tropes and figures, to abuse my sufferance, + What cousin's this? + +Juan de Castro: + + _Michael van owle_, how dost thou? + In what dark barn or tod of aged Ivy + Hast thou lyen hid? + +Michael Perez: + + Things must both ebbe and flow, Coronel, + And people must conceal, and shine again. + You are welcom hither as your friend may say, Gentleman, + A pretty house ye see handsomely seated, + Sweet and convenient walks, the waters crystal. + +Alonzo: + + He's certain mad. + +Juan de Castro: + + As mad as a French Tayler, + That has nothing in's head but ends of fustians. + +Michael Perez: + + I see you are packing now my gentle cousin, + And my wife told me I should find it so, + 'Tis true I do, you were merry when I was last here, +219] But 'twas your will to try my patience Madam. + I am sorry that my swift occasions + Can let you take your pleasure here no longer, + Yet I would have you think my honour'd cousin, + This house and all I have are all your servants. + +Leon: + + What house, what pleasure Sir, what do you mean? + +Michael Perez: + + You hold the jest so stiff, 'twill prove discourteous, + This house I mean, the pleasures of this place. + +Leon: + + And what of them? + +Michael Perez: + + They are mine Sir, and you know it, + My wifes I mean, and so confer'd upon me, + The hangings Sir I must entreat, your servants, + That are so busie in their offices, + Again to minister to their right uses, + I shall take view o'th' plate anon, and furnitures + That are of under place; you are merry still cousin, + And of a pleasant constitution, + Men of great fortunes make their mirths _at placitum_. + +Leon: + + Prethee good stubborn wife, tell me directly, + Good evil wife leave fooling and tell me honestly, + Is this my kinsman? + +Margarita: + + I can tell ye nothing. + +Leon: + + I have many kinsmen, but so mad a one, + And so phantastick--all the house? + +Michael Perez: + + All mine, + And all within it. I will not bate ye an ace on't. + Can you not receive a noble courtesie, + And quietly and handsomely as ye ought Couz, + But you must ride o'th' top on't? + +Leon: + + Canst thou fight? + +Michael Perez: + + I'le tell ye presently, I could have done Sir. + +Leon: + + For ye must law and claw before ye get it. + +Juan de Castro: + + Away, no quarrels. + +Leon: + + Now I am more temperate, + I'le have it prov'd if you were never yet in Bedlam, + Never in love, for that's a lunacy, + No great state left ye that you never lookt for, + Nor cannot manage, that's a rank distemper; + That you were christen'd, and who answer'd for ye, + And then I yield. +220] + +Michael Perez: + + H'as half perswaded me I was bred i'th' moon, + I have ne'r a bush at my breech, are not we both mad, + And is not this a phantastick house we are in, + And all a dream we do? will ye walk out Sir, + And if I do not beat thee presently + Into a sound belief, as sense can give thee, + Brick me into that wall there for a chimny piece, + And say I was one o'th' _Caesars_, done by a seal-cutter. + +Leon: + + I'le talk no more, come we'l away immediatly. + +Margarita: + + Why then the house is his, and all that's in it, + I'le give away my skin but I'le undoe ye, + I gave it to his wife, you must restore Sir, + And make a new provision. + +Michael Perez: + + Am I mad now or am I christen'd, you my pagan cousin, + My mighty Mahound kinsman, what quirk now? + You shall be welcom all, I hope to see Sir + Your Grace here, and my couz, we are all Souldiers, + And must do naturally for one another. + +Duke of Medina: + + Are ye blank at this? then I must tell ye Sir, + Ye have no command, now ye may goe at pleasure + And ride your asse troop, 'twas a trick I us'd + To try your jealousie upon entreatie, + And saving of your wife. + +Leon: + + All this not moves me, + Nor stirs my gall, nor alters my affections, + You have more furniture, more houses Lady, + And rich ones too, I will make bold with those, + And you have Land i'th' _Indies_ as I take it, + Thither we'l goe, and view a while those climats, + Visit your Factors there, that may betray ye, + 'Tis done, we must goe. + +Margarita: + + Now thou art a brave Gentleman, + And by this sacred light I love thee dearly. + The house is none of yours, I did but jest Sir, + Nor you are no couz of mine, I beseech ye vanish, + I tell you plain, you have no more right than he + Has, that senseless thing, your wife has once more fool'd ye: + Goe ye and consider. + +Leon: + + Good morrow my sweet cousin, I should be glad Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + By this hand she dies for't, +221] Or any man that speaks for her. + + [Exit _Perez_. + +Juan de Castro: + + These are fine toyes. + +Margarita: + + Let me request you stay but one poor month, + You shall have a Commission and I'le goe too, + Give me but will so far. + +Leon: + + Well I will try ye, + Good morrow to your Grace, we have private business. + +Duke of Medina: + + If I miss thee again, I am an arrant bungler. + +Juan de Castro: + + Thou shalt have my command, and I'le march under thee, + Nay be thy boy before thou shalt be baffled, + Thou art so brave a fellow. + +Alonzo: + + I have seen visions. + [Exeunt. + + + + + +Actus Quintus + + + + +Scena Prima. + + [Enter _Leon_, with a letter, and _Margarita_.] + +Leon: + + Come hither wife, do you know this hand? + +Margarita: + + I do Sir, + 'Tis _Estifania_, that was once my woman. + +Leon: + + She writes to me here, that one _Cacafogo_ + An usuring Jewellers son (I know the Rascal) + Is mortally faln in love with ye. + +Margarita: + + Is a monster, deliver me from mountains. + +Leon: + + Do you goe a birding for all sorts of people? + And this evening will come to ye and shew ye Jewels, + And offers any thing to get access to ye, + If I can make or sport or profit on him, + (For he is fit for both) she bids me use him, + And so I will, be you conformable, and follow but my will. + +Margarita: + + I shall not fail, Sir. + +Leon: + + Will the Duke come again do you think? + +Margarita: + + No sure Sir, + H'as now no policie to bring him hither. + +Leon: + + Nor bring you to him, if my wit hold fair wife: + Let's in to dinner. + + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Perez_.] + +Michael Perez: + + Had I but lungs enough to bawl sufficiently, + That all the queans in Christendom might hear me, +222] That men might run away from contagion, + I had my wish; would it were most high treason, + Most infinite high, for any man to marry, + I mean for any man that would live handsomely, + And like a Gentleman, in his wits and credit. + What torments shall I put her to, _Phalaris_ bull now, + Pox they love bulling too well, though they smoak for't. + Cut her apieces? every piece will live still, + And every morsel of her will do mischief; + They have so many lives, there's no hanging of 'em, + They are too light to drown, they are cork and feathers; + To burn too cold, they live like Salamanders; + Under huge heaps of stones to bury her, + And so depress her as they did the Giants; + She will move under more than built old Babel, + I must destroy her. + + [Enter _Cacafogo_, with a Casket.] + +Cacafogo: + + Be cozen'd by a thing of clouts, a she moth, + That every silkmans shop breeds; to be cheated, + And of a thousand duckets by a whim wham? + +Michael Perez: + + Who's that is cheated, speak again thou vision, + But art thou cheated? minister some comfort: + Tell me directly art thou cheated bravely? + Come, prethee come, art thou so pure a coxcomb + To be undone? do not dissemble with me, + Tell me I conjure thee. + +Cacafogo: + + Then keep thy circle, + For I am a spirit wild that flies about thee, + And who e're thou art, if thou be'st humane, + I'le let thee plainly know, I am cheated damnably. + +Michael Perez: + + Ha, ha, ha. + +Cacafogo: + + Dost thou laugh? damnably, I say most damnably. + +Michael Perez: + + By whom, good spirit speak, speak ha, ha, ha. + +Cacafogo: + + I will utter, laugh till thy lungs crack, by a rascal woman, + A lewd, abominable, and plain woman. + Dost thou laugh still? + +Michael Perez: + + I must laugh, prethee pardon me, + I shall laugh terribly. + +Cacafogo: + + I shall be angry, terrible angry, I have cause. +223] + +Michael Perez: + + That's it, and 'tis no reason but thou shouldst be angry, + Angry at heart, yet I must laugh still at thee. + By a woman cheated? art' sure it was a woman? + +Cacafogo: + + I shall break thy head, my valour itches at thee. + +Michael Perez: + + It is no matter, by a woman cozen'd, + A real woman? + +Cacafogo: + + A real Devil, + Plague of her Jewels and her copper chains, + How rank they smell. + +Michael Perez: + + Sweet cozen'd Sir let me see them, + I have been cheated too, I would have you note that, + And lewdly cheated, by a woman also, + A scurvie woman, I am undone sweet Sir, + Therefore I must have leave to [l]augh. + +Cacafogo: + + Pray ye take it, + You are the merriest undone man in _Europe_. + What need we fiddles, bawdy songs and sack, + When our own miseries can make us merry? + +Michael Perez: + + Ha, ha, ha. + I have seen these Jewels, what a notable penniworth + Have you had next your heart? you will not take Sir + Some twenty Duckets? + +Cacafogo: + + Thou art deceiv'd, I will take. + +Michael Perez: + + To clear your bargain now. + +Cacafogo: + + I'le take some ten, some any thing, some half ten, + Half a Ducket. + +Michael Perez: + + An excellent lapidary set these stones sure, + Do you mark their waters? + +Cacafogo: + + Quick-sand choak their waters, + And hers that bought 'em too, but I shall find her. + +Michael Perez: + + And so shall I, I hope, but do not hurt her, + You cannot find in all this Kingdom, + (If you had need of cozening, as you may have, + For such gross natures will desire it often, + 'Tis at some time too a fine variety,) + A woman that can cozen ye so neatly, + She has taken half mine anger off with this trick. + + [Exit. + +Cacafogo: + + If I were valiant now, I would kill this fellow, + I have mony enough lies by me at a pinch + To pay for twenty Rascals lives that vex me, +224] I'le to this Lady, there I shall be satisfied. + + [Exit. + + [Enter _Leon_, and _Margarita_.] + +Leon: + + Come, we'l away unto your country house, + And there we'l learn to live contently, + This place is full of charge, and full of hurry, + No part of sweetness dwells about these cities. + +Margarita: + + Whither you will, I wait upon your pleasure; + Live in a hollow tree Sir, I'le live with ye. + +Leon: + + I, now you strike a harmony, a true one, + When your obedience waits upon your Husband, + And your sick will aims at the care of honour, + Why now I dote upon ye, love ye dearly, + And my rough nature falls like roaring streams, + Clearly and sweetly into your embraces. + O what a Jewel is a woman excellent, + A wise, a vertuous and a noble woman! + When we meet such, we bear our stamps on both sides, + And through the world we hold our currant virtues, + Alone we are single medals, only faces, + And wear our fortunes out in useless shadows, + Command you now, and ease me of that trouble, + I'le be as humble to you as a servant, + Bid whom you please, invite your noble friends, + They shall be welcome all, visit acquaintance, + Goe at your pleasure, now experience + Has link't you fast unto the chain of goodness: + What noise is this, what dismal cry? + + [Clashing swords. A cry within, down with their swords.] + +Margarita: + + 'Tis loud too. + Sure there's some mischief done i'th' street, look out there. + +Leon: + + Look out and help. + + [Enter a _Servant_.] + +Servant: + + Oh Sir the Duke _Medina_. + +Leon: + + What of the Duke _Medina_? + +Servant: + + Oh sweet Gentleman, is almost slain. + +Margarita: + + Away away and help him, all the house help. + [Exit _Servant_. + +Leon: + + How slain? why Margarita, + Why wife, sure some new device they have a foot again, +225] Some trick upon my credit, I shall meet it, + I had rather guide a ship Imperial + Alone, and in a storm, than rule one woman. + + [Enter Duke, _Margarita_, _Sanchio_, _Alonzo_, Servant.] + +Margarita: + + How came ye hurt Sir? + +Duke of Medina: + + I fell out with my friend the noble Coronel, + My cause was naught, for 'twas about your honour: + And he that wrongs the Innocent ne'r prospers, + And he has left me thus for charity, + Lend me a bed to ease my tortur'd body, + That e're I perish I may show my penitence, + I fear I am slain. + +Leon: + + Help Gentlemen to carry him, + There shall be nothing in this house my Lord, + But as your own. + +Duke of Medina: + + I thank ye noble Sir. + +Leon: + + To bed with him, and wife give your attendance. + + [Enter _Juan_.] + +Juan de Castro: + + Doctors and Surgions. + +Duke of Medina: + + Do not disquiet me, + But let me take my leave in peace. + + [Ex. Duke, _Sanchio_, _Alon._ _Marg._ Servant. + +Leon: + + Afore me + 'Tis rarely counterfeited. + +Juan de Castro: + + True, it is so Sir, + And take you heed, this last blow do not spoil ye, + He is not hurt, only we made a scuffle, + As though we purpos'd anger; that same scratch + On's hand he took, to colour all and draw compassion, + That he might get into your house more cunningly. + I must not stay, stand now, and y'are a brave fellow. + +Leon: + + I thank ye noble Coronel, and I honour ye. + [Exit _Juan_. + + Never be quiet? + + [Enter _Margarita_.] + +Margarita: + + He's most desperate ill Sir, + I do not think these ten months will recover him. + +Leon: + + Does he hire my house to play the fool in, +226] Or does it stand on Fairy ground, we are haunted, + Are all men and their wives troubled with dreams thus? + +Margarita: + + What ail you Sir? + +Leon: + + Nay what ail you sweet wife, + To put these daily pastimes on my patience? + What dost thou see in me, that I should suffer thus, + Have not I done my part like a true Husband, + And paid some desperate debts you never look'd for? + +Margarita: + + You have done handsomely I must confess Sir. + +Leon: + + Have I not kept thee waking like a hawk? + And watcht thee with delights to satisfy thee? + The very tithes of which had won a Widow. + +Margarita: + + Alas I pity ye. + +Leon: + + Thou wilt make me angry, + Thou never saw'st me mad yet. + +Margarita: + + You are alwaies, + You carry a kind of bedlam still about ye. + +Leon: + + If thou pursuest me further I run stark mad, + If you have more hurt Dukes or Gentlemen, + To lye here on your cure, I shall be desperate, + I know the trick, and you shall feel I know it, + Are ye so hot that no hedge can contain ye? + I'le have thee let blood in all the veins about thee, + I'le have thy thoughts found too, and have them open'd, + Thy spirits purg'd, for those are they that fire ye, + Thy maid shall be thy Mistris, thou the maid, + And all those servile labours that she reach at, + And goe through cheerfully, or else sleep empty, + That maid shall lye by me to teach you duty, + You in a pallet by to humble ye, + And grieve for what you lose. + +Margarita: + + I have lost my self Sir, + And all that was my base self, disobedience, + + [kneels. + + My wantonness, my stubborness I have lost too, + And now by that pure faith good wives are crown'd with, + By your own nobleness. + + [Enter _Altea_.] + +Leon: + + I take ye up, and wear ye next my heart, + See you be worth it. Now what with you? +227] + +Altea: + + I come to tell my Lady, + There is a fulsome fellow would fain speak with her. + +Leon: + + 'Tis _Cacafogo_, goe and entertain him, + And draw him on with hopes. + +Margarita: + + I shall observe ye. + +Leon: + + I have a rare design upon that Gentleman, + And you must work too. + +Altea: + + I shall Sir most willingly. + +Leon: + + Away then both, and keep him close in some place + From the Dukes sight, and keep the Duke in too, + Make 'em believe both, I'le find time to cure 'em. + + [Exeunt. + + [Enter _Perez_, and _Estifania_, with a Pistol, and a Dagge[r].] + +Michael Perez: + + Why how darst thou meet me again thou rebel, + And knowst how thou hast used me thrice, thou rascal? + Were there not waies enough to fly my vengeance, + No holes nor vaults to hide thee from my fury, + But thou must meet me face to face to kill thee? + I would not seek thee to destroy thee willingly, + But now thou comest to invite me, + And comest upon me, + How like a sheep-biting Rogue taken i'th' manner, + And ready for the halter dost thou look now! + Thou hast a hanging look thou scurvy thing, hast ne'r a knife + Nor ever a string to lead thee to Elysium? + Be there no pitifull 'Pothecaries in this town, + That have compassion upon wretched women, + And dare administer a dram of rats-bane, + But thou must fall to me? + +Estifania: + + I know you have mercy. + +Michael Perez: + + If I had tuns of mercy thou deserv'st none, + What new trick is now afoot, and what new houses + Have you i'th' air, what orchards in apparition, + What canst thou say for thy life? + +Estifania: + + Little or nothing, + I know you'l kill me, and I know 'tis useless + To beg for mercy, pray let me draw my book out, + And pray a little. + +Michael Perez: + + Do, a very little, + For I have farther business than thy killing, +228] I have mony yet to borrow, speak when you are ready. + +Estifania: + + Now now Sir, now, + [shews a Pistol. + + Come on, do you start off from me, + Do you swear great Captain, have you seen a spirit? + +Michael Perez: + + Do you wear guns? + +Estifania: + + I am a Souldiers wife Sir, + And by that priviledge I may be arm'd, + Now what's the news, and let's discourse more friendly, + And talk of our affairs in peace. + +Michael Perez: + + Let me see, + Prethee let me see thy gun, 'tis a very pretty one. + +Estifania: + + No no Sir, you shall feel. + +Michael Perez: + + Hold ye villain, what thine own Husband? + +Estifania: + + Let mine own Husband then + Be in's own wits, there, there's a thousand duckets, + Who must provide for you, and yet you'l kill me. + +Michael Perez: + + I will not hurt thee for ten thousand millio[n]s. + +Estifania: + + When will you redeem your Jewels, I have pawn'd 'em, + You see for what, we must keep touch. + +Michael Perez: + + I'le kiss thee, + And get as many more, I'le make thee famous, + Had we the house now! + +Estifania: + + Come along with me, + If that be vanish't there be more to hire Sir. + +Michael Perez: + + I see I am an asse when thou art near me. + + [] + + [Enter _Leon_, _Margarita_, and _Altea_, with a Taper.] + +Leon: + + Is the fool come? + +Altea: + + Yes and i'th' celler fast, + And there he staies his good hour till I call him, + He will make dainty musick among the sack-butts, + I have put him just, Sir, under the Dukes chamber. + +Leon: + + It is the better. + +Altea: + + Has given me royally, + And to my Lady a whole load of portigues. + +Leon: + + Better and better still, go _Margarita_, + Now play your prize, you say you dare be honest, + I'le put ye to your best. + +Margarita: + + Secure your self Sir, give me the candle, +229] Pass away in silence. + + [Ex. _Leon_ and _Altea_. She knocks. + +Duke of Medina: + + Who's there, oh oh. + +Margarita: + + My Lord, + +Duke of Medina within: + + Have ye brought me comfort? + +Margarita: + + I have my Lord. + Come forth 'tis I, come gently out I'le help ye, + + [Enter _Duke_, in a gown.] + + Come softly too, how do you? + +Duke of Medina: + + Are there none here? + Let me look round; we cannot be too wary, + + [noise below. + + Oh let me bless this hour, are you alone sweet friend? + +Margarita: + + Alone to comfort you. + [_Cacafogo_ makes a noise below. + +Duke of Medina: + + What's that you tumble? + I have heard a noise this half hour under me, + A fearfull noise. + +Margarita: + + The fat thing's mad i'th' celler, + And stumbles from one hogs-head to another, + Two cups more, and he ne'r shall find the way out. + What do you fear? come, sit down by me chearfully, + My Husband's safe, how do your wounds? + +Duke of Medina: + + I have none Lady, + My wounds I counterfeited cunningly, + + [noise below. + + And feign'd the quarrel too, to injoy you sweet, + Let's lose no time, heark the same noise again. + +Margarita: + + What noise, why look ye pale? I hear no stirring, + This goblin in the vault will be so tipled. + You are not well I know by your flying fancy, + Your body's ill at ease, your wounds. + +Duke of Medina: + + I have none, I am as lusty and as full of health, + High in my blood. + +Margarita: + + Weak in your blood you would say, + How wretched is my case, willing to please ye, + And find you so disable? + +Duke of Medina: + + Believe me Lady. + +Margarita: + + I know you will venture all you have to satisfy me, + Your life I know, but is it fit I spoil ye, + Is it my love do you think? + +Cacafogo below: + + Here's to the Duke. +230] + +Duke of Medina: + + It nam'd me certainly, + I heard it plainly sound. + +Margarita: + + You are hurt mortally, + And fitter for your prayers Sir than pleasure, + What starts you make? I would not kiss you wantonly, + For the world's wealth; have I secur'd my Husband, + And put all doubts aside to be deluded? + +Cacafogo below: + + I come, I come. + +Duke of Medina: + + Heaven bless me. + +Margarita: + + And bless us both, for sure this is the Devil, + I plainly heard it now, he will come to fetch ye, + A very spirit, for he spoke under ground, + And spoke to you just as you would have snatcht me, + You are a wicked man, and sure this haunts ye, + Would you were out o'th' house. + +Duke of Medina: + + I would I were, + O' that condition I had leapt a window. + +Margarita: + + And that's the least leap if you mean to scape Sir, + Why what a frantick man were you to come here, + What a weak man to counterfeit deep wounds, + To wound another deeper! + +Duke of Medina: + + Are you honest then? + +Margarita: + + Yes then and now, and ever, and excellent honest, + And exercise this pastime but to shew ye, + Great men are fools sometimes as well as wretches. + Would you were well hurt, with any hope of life, + Cut to the brains, or run clean through the body, + To get out quietly as you got in Sir, + I wish it like a friend that loves ye dearly, + For if my Husband take ye, and take ye thus a counterfeit, + One that would clip his credit out of his honour, + He must kill ye presently, + There is no mercy nor an hour of pity, + And for me to intreat in such an agony, + Would shew me little better than one guilty, + Have you any mind to a Lady now? + +Duke of Medina: + + Would I were off fair, + If ever Lady caught me in a trap more. + +Margarita: + + If you be well and lusty, fy fy shake not, + You say you love me, come, come bravely now, +231] Despise all danger, I am ready for ye. + +Duke of Medina: + + She mocks my misery, thou cruel Lady. + +Margarita: + + Thou cruel Lord, wouldst thou betray my honesty, + Betray it in mine own house, wrong my Husband, + Like a night thief, thou darst not name by day-light? + +Duke of Medina: + + I am most miserable. + +Margarita: + + You are indeed, + And like a foolish thing you have made your self so, + Could not your own discretion tell ye Sir, + When I was married I was none of yours? + Your eyes were then commanded to look off me, + And I now stand in a circle and secure, + Your spells nor power can never reach my body, + Mark me but this, and then Sir be most miserable, + 'Tis sacriledge to violate a wedlock, + You rob two Temples, make your self twice guilty, + You ruine hers, and spot her noble Husbands. + +Duke of Medina: + + Let me be gone, I'le never more attempt ye. + +Margarita: + + You cannot goe, 'tis not in me to save ye, + Dare ye do ill, and poorly then shrink under it? + Were I the Duke _Medina_, I would fight now, + For you must fight and bravely, it concerns you, + You do me double wrong if you sneak off Sir, + And all the world would say I lov'd a coward, + And you must dye too, for you will be kill'd, + And leave your youth, your honour and your state, + And all those dear delights you worship't here. + + [Noise below. + +Duke of Medina: + + The noise again! + +Cacafogo below: + + Some small beer if you love me. + +Margarita: + + The Devil haunts you sure, your sins are mighty. + A drunken Devil too, to plague your villany. + +Duke of Medina: + + Preserve me but this once. + +Margarita: + + There's a deep well + In the next yard, if you dare venture drowning, + It is but dea[t]h. + +Duke of Medina: + + I would not dye so wretchedly. + +Margarita: + + Out of a garret window I'le let you down then, + But say the rope be rotten, 'tis huge high too. + +Duke of Medina: + + Have you no mercy? + +Margarita: + + Now you are frighted throughly, +232] And find what 'tis to play the fool in folly, + And see with clear eyes your detested folly, + I'le be your guard. + +Duke of Medina: + + And I'le be your true servant, + Ever from this hour vertuously to love ye, + Chastly and modestly to look upon ye, + And here I seal it. + +Margarita: + + I may kiss a stranger, for you must now be so. + + [Enter _Leon_, _Juan_, _Alonzo_, _Sanchio_.] + +Leon: + + How do you my Lord, + Me thinks you look but poorly on this matter. + Has my wife wounded ye, you were well before, + Pray Sir be comforted, I have forgot all, + Truly forgiven too, wife you are a right one, + And now with unknown nations I dare trust ye. + +Juan de Castro: + + No more feign'd fights my Lord, they never prosper. + +Leon: + + Who's this? the Devil in the vault? + +Altea: + + 'Tis he Sir, and as lovingly drunk, as though he had studied it. + +Cacafogo: + + Give me a cup of Sack, and kiss me Lady, + Kiss my sweet face, and make thy Husband cuckold, + An Ocean of sweet Sack, shall we speak treason? + +Leon: + + He is Devilish drunk. + +Duke of Medina: + + I had thought he had been a Devil. + He made as many noises and as horrible. + +Leon: + + Oh a true lover Sir will lament loudly, + Which of the butts is your Mistris? + +Cacafogo: + + Butt in thy belly. + +Leon: + + There's two in thine I am sure, 'tis grown so monstrous. + +Cacafogo: + + Butt in thy face. + +Leon: + + Go carry him to sleep, + A fools love should be drunk, he has paid well for't too. + When he is sober let him out to rail, + Or hang himself, there will be no loss of him. + + [Exit _Caca._ and Servant. + + [Enter _Perez_, and _Estifania_.] + +Leon: + + Who's this? my Mauhound cousin? + +Michael Perez: + + Good Sir, 'tis very good, would I had a house too, + For there is no talking in the open air, +233] My Tarmogant Couz, I would be bold to tell ye, + I durst be merry too; I tell you plainly, + You have a pretty seat, you have the luck on't, + A pretty Lady too, I have mist both, + My Carpenter built in a mist I thank him, + Do me the courtesie to let me see it, + See it but once more. But I shall cry for anger. + I'le hire a Chandlers shop close under ye, + And for my foolerie, sell sope and whip-cord, + Nay if you do not laugh now and laugh heartily, + You are a fool couz. + +Leon: + + I must laugh a little, + And now I have done, couz thou shalt live with me, + My merry couz, the world shall not divorce us, + Thou art a valiant man, and thou shalt never want, + Will this content thee? + +Michael Perez: + + I'le cry, and then I'le be thankfull, + Indeed I will, and I'le be honest to ye. + I would live a swallow here I must confess. + Wife I forgive thee all if thou be honest, + At thy peril, I believe thee excellent. + +Estifania: + + If I prove otherwaies, let me beg first, + Hold, this is yours, some recompence for service, + Use it to nobler ends than he that gave it. + +Duke of Medina: + + And this is yours, your true commission, Sir, + Now you are a Captain. + +Leon: + + You are a noble Prince Sir, + And now a souldier, Gentleman, we all rejoyce in't. + +Juan de Castro: + + Sir, I shall wait upon you through all fortunes. + +Alonzo: + + And I. + +Altea: + + And I must needs attend my Mistris. + +Leon: + + Will you goe Sister? + +Altea: + + Yes indeed good Brother, + I have two ties, mine own bloud, + And my Mistris. + +Margarita: + + Is she your Sister? + +Leon: + + Yes indeed good wife, + And my best Sister, + For she prov'd so, wench, + When she deceiv'd you with a loving Husband. +234] + +Altea: + + I would not deal so truly for a stranger. + +Margarita: + + Well I could chide ye, + But it must be lovingly and like a Sister, + I'le bring you on your way, and feast ye nobly, + For now I have an honest heart to love ye, + And then deliver you to the blue _Neptune_. + +Juan de Castro: + + Your colours you must wear, and wear 'em proudly, + Wear 'em before the bullet, and in bloud too, + And all the world shall know + We are Vertues servants. + +Duke of Medina: + + _And all the world shall know, a noble mind_ + _Makes women beautifull, and envie blind._ + + [Exeunt. + + + + + +Prologue. + + Pleasure attend ye, and about ye sit + The springs of mirth, fancy, delight and wit + To stir you up, do not your looks let fall, + Nor to remembrance our late errors call, + Because this day w' are _Spaniards_ all again, + The story of our Play, and our Scene _Spain_: + The errors too, do not for this cause hate, + Now we present their wit and not their state. + Nor Ladies be not angry if you see, + A young fresh beauty, wanton and too free, + Seek to abuse her Husband, still 'tis _Spain_, + No such gross errors in your Kingdom raign, + W' are _Vesrals_ all, and though we blow the fire, + We seldom make it flame up to desire, + Take no example neither to begin, + For some by precedent delight to sin: + Nor blame the Poet if he slip aside + Sometimes lasciviously if not too wide. + But hold your Fanns close, and then smile at ease, + A cruel Scene did never Lady please. + Nor Gentlemen, pray be not you displeased, +235] Though we present some men fool'd, some diseased, + Some drunk, some mad: we mean not you, you're free, + We taxe no farther than our Comedie, + You are our friends, sit noble then and see. + + + + + +Epilogue. + + Good night our worthy friends, and may you part + Each with as merry and as free a heart + As you came hither; to those noble eyes + That deign to smile on our poor faculties, + And give a blessing to our labouring ends, + As we hope many, to such fortune sends + Their own desires, wives fair as light as chast; + To those that live by spight Wives made in hast. + + + + + +459] +APPENDIX + + + + +RULE A WIFE, AND HAVE A WIFE. + +The Dramatis Personae are not given in the quarto of 1640 nor in the 2nd +folio. They are as follows:--Duke of Medina. Juan de Castro, Sanchio, Alonzo, +Michael Perez, Officers. Leon, Altea's brother. Cacafogo, a usurer. Lorenzo. +Coachman, etc. Margarita. Altea. Estifania. Clara. Three old ladies. Old +woman. Maids, etc. + +Unless where otherwise stated the following variations are from the quarto of +1640, the title-page of which runs thus:-- + +Rule a Wife And have a Wife. A Comoedy. Acted by his Majesties Servants. +Written by John Fletcher Gent. Oxford, Printed by Leonard Lichfield Printer to +the University. Anno 1640. + + + p. 170, + l. 30. mouth. + + + p. 171, + l. 14. most subtlest. + + l. 18. With yee. + + l. 19. them. + + l. 38. _and often elsewhere_] um _for_ 'em. + + + p. 172, + l. 2. the picke. + + + p. 173, + l. 22. thank ye. + + + p. 175, + l. 1. Yes I. + + l. 29. Exit. + + l. 31. mine ayme. + + + p. 176, + l. 30. 2nd folio _prints_] calling. And + + + p. 178, + l. 10. a starv'd. + + l. 22. look'st. + + l. 24. 2nd folio _misprints_] hear. + + + p. 179, + l. 33. Or any. + + + p. 182, + ll. 6, etc. Quarto _frequently prints_ 4 for Altea _here and in + similar places_. + + l. 33. doubty. + + + p. 183, + l. 2. Has not. + + l. 3. 2nd folio _misprints_] hin. + + l. 5. Has no. + + l. 38. 2nd folio _misprints_] compaines. + + + p. 184, + l. 13. a house. + + + p. 185, + l. 2. Altea, the Ladies. + + l. 4. has been. + + + p. 187, + l. 26. I finde. + + + p. 189, + l. 28. enter'd here. + + l. 39. salute him. + + + p. 190, + l. 25. if she. + + + p. 194, + ll. 8 and 11. _Omits_ Lady _here and often similarly elsewhere_. + + + p. 196, + l. 26. Exit. + + + p. 197, + l. 20. basinesse. + + +460] + + + p. 198, + l. 29. (_some copies_), and ruine too. + + l. 32. have meaner. + + l. 39. 2nd folio _misprints_] Jaun. + + + p. 200, + l. 8. _Some copies read_] laugh him, leave ager. + + + p. 201, + l. 2. _Adds the following line_] It is a Ladies, what's the Ladies + name wench. + + l. 6. a the. + + l. 23. they are. + + l. 38. flea me. + + + p. 202, + l. 27. Nor I. + + l. 28. _Omits_ of. + + + p. 203, + l. 13. Tas. + + l. 17. as ere I looked on. + + + p. 204, + l. 20. Both into. + + l. 37. _Adds the following line_] And hold it to my use, the law + allowes it, + + + p. 206, + l. 38. I have seen. + + + p. 207, + l. 3. Save. + + l. 29. Is possest. + + + p. 208, + l. 1. a your. + + l. 17. bless ye. + + + p. 209, + l. 5. believe ye. + + l. 6. Pray ye. + + l. 12. after ye. + + l. 18. forgot ye. + + l. 34. vild, vild. + + + p. 210, + l. 15. 2nd folio] do brave, Captain. + + + p. 211, + l. 10. 2nd folio _misprints_] Ptithee. + + l. 23. put your fury up, Sir. + + l. 32. colt ye. + + l. 33. teach ye. + + + p. 212, + l. 22. on, it looked so. + + l. 30. Pray ye. + + + p. 213, + l. 39. heere Don Juan. + + + p. 214, + l. 30. 'Tas. + + l. 33. _Omits_ do. + + + p. 215, + l. 21. all sit. + + l. 28. Has. + + + p. 216, + l. 22. 2nd folio _misprints_] thinks. + + l. 31. I goe alas. + + l. 38. linnens. + + + p. 220, + l. 1. Has. + + l. 21. I use. + + + p. 223, + l. 10. 2nd folio _misprints_] Perox. + + l. 14. 2nd folio _misprints_] haugh. + + + p. 227, + l. 12. 2nd folio] Dagge. + + l. 24. Nor never. + + + p. 228, + l. 17. 2nd folio _misprints_] millius. + + ll. 18 and 19. pawn'd um. + + + p. 230, + l. 17. A that. + + + p. 231, + l. 16. too Templers. + + l. 35. 2nd folio misprints] deah. + + + p. 234, + l. 25. raignes. + + l. 12. _Adds_ Finis. + + l. 24. abuse your. + + l. 29. president. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Rule a Wife, and Have a Wife +by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK RULE A WIFE, AND HAVE A WIFE *** + +***** This file should be named 14549.txt or 14549.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/4/5/4/14549/ + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Paul Murray and the Online Distributed +Proofreading Team + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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