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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/14490-0.txt b/14490-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..25a0e89 --- /dev/null +++ b/14490-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10392 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14490 *** + +This etext was produced by Gardner Buchanan. + + + + + + +A DAUGHTER OF TO-DAY +by Sara Jeannette Duncan + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +Miss Kimpsey dropped into an arm-chair in Mrs. Leslie +Bell's drawing-room and crossed her small dusty feet +before her while she waited for Mrs. Leslie Bell. Sitting +there, thinking a little of how tired she was and a great +deal of what she had come to say, Miss Kimpsey enjoyed +a sense of consideration that came through the ceiling +with the muffled sound of rapid footsteps in the chamber +above. Mrs. Bell would be "down in a minute," the maid +had said. Miss Kimpsey was inclined to forgive a greater +delay, with this evidence of hasteful preparation going +on overhead. The longer she had to ponder her mission +the better, and she sat up nervously straight pondering +it, tracing with her parasol a sage-green block in the +elderly aestheticated pattern of the carpet. + +Miss Kimpsey was thirty-five, with a pale, oblong +little face, that looked younger under its softening +"bang" of fair curls across the forehead. She was a +buff-and-gray-colored creature, with a narrow square chin +and narrow square shoulders, and a flatness and straightness +about her everywhere that gave her rather the effect of +a wedge, to which the big black straw hat she wore tilted +a little on one side somehow conduced. Miss Kimpsey might +have figured anywhere as a representative of the New +England feminine surplus--there was a distinct suggestion +of character under her unimportant little features--and +her profession was proclaimed in her person, apart from +the smudge of chalk on the sleeve of her jacket. She had +been born and brought up and left over in Illinois, +however, in the town of Sparta, Illinois. She had developed +her conscience there, and no doubt, if one knew it well, +it would show peculiarities of local expansion directly +connected with hot corn-bread for breakfast, as opposed +to the accredited diet of legumes upon which consciences +arrive at such successful maturity in the East. It was, +at all events, a conscience in excellent controlling +order. It directed Miss Kimpsey, for example, to teach +three times a week in the boys' night-school through the +winter, no matter how sharply the wind blew off Lake +Michigan, in addition to her daily duties at the High +School, where for ten years she had imparted instruction +in the "English branches," translating Chaucer into the +modern dialect of Sparta, Illinois, for the benefit of +Miss Elfrida Bell, among others. It had sent her on this +occasion to see Mrs. Leslie Bell, and Miss Kimpsey could +remember circumstances under which she had obeyed her +conscience with more alacrity. + +"It isn't," said Miss Kimpsey, with internal discouragement, +"as if I knew her well." + +Miss Kimpsey did not know Mrs. Bell at all well. Mrs. +Bell was president of the Browning Club, and Miss Kimpsey +was a member, they met, too, in the social jumble of +fancy fairs in aid of the new church organ; they had a +bowing acquaintance--that is, Mrs. Bell, had. Miss +Kimpsey's part of it was responsive, and she always gave +a thought to her boots and her gloves when she met Mrs. +Bell. It was not that the Spartan social circle which +Mrs. Bell adorned had any vulgar prejudice against the +fact that Miss Kimpsey earned her own living--more than +one of its ornaments had done the same thing--and Miss +Kimpsey's relations were all "in grain" and obviously +respectable. It was simply that none, of the Kimpseys, +prosperous or poor, had ever been in society in Sparta, +for reasons which Sparta itself would probably be unable +to define; and this one was not likely to be thrust among +the elect because she taught school and enjoyed life upon +a scale of ethics. + +Mrs. Bell's drawing-room was a slight distraction to Miss +Kimpsey's nervous thoughts. The little school-teacher +had never been in it before, and it impressed her. "It's +just what you would expect her parlor to be," she said +to herself, looking furtively round. She could not help +her sense of impropriety; she had always been taught that +it was very bad manners to observe anything hi another +person's house, but she could not help looking either. +She longed to get up and read the names of the books +behind the glass doors of the tall bookcase at the other +end of the room, for the sake of the little quiver of +respectful admiration she knew they would give her; but +she did not dare to do that. Her eyes went from the +bookcase to the photogravure of Dore's "Entry into +Jerusalem," under which three Japanese dolls were arranged +with charming effect. "The Reading Magdalen" caught them +next, a colored photograph, and then a Magdalen of more +obscure origin in much blackened oils and a very deep +frame; then still another Magdalen, more modern, in +monochrome. In fact, the room was full of Magdalens, and +on an easel in the corner stood a Mater Dolorosa, lifting +up her streaming eyes. Granting the capacity to take them +seriously, they might have depressed some people, but +they elevated Miss Kimpsey. + +She was equally elevated by the imitation willow pattern +plates over the door, and the painted yellow daffodils +on the panels, and the orange-colored _Revue des Deux +Mondes_ on the corner of the table, and the absence of +all bows or draperies from the furniture. Miss Kimpsey's +own parlor was excrescent with bows and draperies. "She +is above them," thought Miss Kimpsey, with a little pang. +The room was so dark that she could not see how old the +_Revue_ was; she did not know either that it was always +there, that unexceptionable Parisian periodical, with +Dante in the original and red leather, _Academy Notes_, +and the _Nineteenth Century_, all helping to furnish Mrs. +Leslie Bell's drawing-room in a manner in accordance with +her tastes; but if she had, Miss Kimpsey would have been +equally impressed. It took intellect even to select these +things. The other books, Miss Kimpsey noticed by the +numbers labelled on their backs, were mostly from the +circulating library--"David Grieve," "Cometh up as a +Flower," "The Earthly Paradise," Ruskin's "Stones of +Venice," Marie Corelli's "Romance of Two Worlds." The +mantelpiece was arranged in geometrical disorder, but it +had a gilt clock under a glass shade precisely in the +middle. When the gilt clock indicated, in a mincing way, +that Miss Kimpsey had been kept waiting fifteen minutes, +Mrs. Bell came in. She had fastened her last button and +assumed the expression appropriate to Miss Kimpsey at +the foot of the stair. She was a tall, thin woman, with +no color and rather narrow brown eyes much wrinkled round +about, and a forehead that loomed at you, and grayish +hair twisted high into a knot behind--a knot from which +a wispy end almost invariably escaped. When she smiled +her mouth curved downward, showing a number of large even +white teeth, and made deep lines which suggested various +things, according to the nature of the smile, on either +side of her face. As a rule one might take them to mean +a rather deprecating acceptance of life as it stands--they +seemed intended for that--and then Mrs. Bell would express +an enthusiasm and contradict them. As she came through +the door under the "Entry into Jerusalem," saying that +she really must apologize, she was sure it was unpardonable +keeping Miss Kimpsey waiting like this, the lines expressed +an intention of being as agreeable as possible without +committing herself to return Miss Kimpsey's visit. + +"Why, no, Mrs. Bell," Miss Kimpsey said earnestly, with +a protesting buff-and-gray smile, "I didn't mind waiting +a particle--honestly I didn't. Besides, I presume it's +early for a call; but I thought I'd drop in on my way +from school." Miss Kimpsey was determined that Mrs. Bell +should have every excuse that charity could invent for +her. She sat down again, and agreed with Mrs. Bell that +they were having lovely weather, especially when they +remembered what a disagreeable fall it had been last +year; certainly this October had been just about perfect. +The ladies used these superlatives in the tone of mild +defiance that almost any statement of fact has upon +feminine lips in America. It did not seem to matter that +their observations were entirely in union. + +"I thought I'd run in--" said Miss Kimpsey, screwing +herself up by the arm of her chair. + +"Yes?" + +"And speak to you about a thing I've been thinking a good +deal of, Mrs. Bell, this last day or two. It's about +Elfrida." + +Mrs. Bell's expression became judicial. If this was a +complaint--and she was not accustomed to complaints of +Elfrida--she would be careful how she took it. + +"I hope--" she began. + +"Oh, you needn't worry, Mrs. Bell. It's nothing about +her conduct, and it's nothing about her school work." + +"Well, that's a relief," said Mrs. Bell, as if she had +expected it would be. "But I know she's bad at figures. +The child can't help that, though; she gets it from me. +I think I ought to ask you to be lenient with her on that +account." + +"I have nothing to do with the mathematical branches, +Mrs, Bell. I teach only English to the senior classes. +But I haven't heard Mr. Jackson complain of Elfrida at +all." Feeling that she could no longer keep her errand +at arm's length, Miss Kimpsey desperately closed with +it. "I've come--I hope you won't mind--Mrs. Bell, Elfrida +has been quoting Rousseau in her compositions, and I +thought you'd like to know." + +"In the original?" asked Mrs. Bell, with interest. "I +didn't think her French was advanced enough for that." + +"No, from a translation," Miss Kimpsey replied. "Her +sentence ran: 'As the gifted Jean Jacques Rousseau told +the world in his "Confessions"'--I forget the rest. That +was the part that struck me most. She had evidently been +reading the works of Rousseau." + +"Very likely. Elfrida has her own subscription at the +library," Mrs. Bell said speculatively. "It shows a taste +in reading beyond her years, doesn't it, Miss Kimpsey? +The child is only fifteen." + +"Well, _I've_ never read Rousseau," the little teacher +stated definitely. "Isn't he--atheistical, Mrs. Bell, +and improper every way?" + +Mrs. Bell raised her eyebrows and pushed out her lips at +the severity of this ignorant condemnation. "He was a +genius, Miss Kimpsey--rather I should say he _is_, for +genius cannot die. He is much thought of in France. People +there make a little shrine of the house he occupied with +Madame Warens, you know." + +"Oh!" returned Miss Kimpsey, "_French_ people." + +"Yes. The French are peculiarly happy in the way they +sanctify genius," said Mrs. Bell vaguely, with a feeling +that she was wasting a really valuable idea. + +"Well, you'll have to excuse me, Mrs. Bell. I'd always +heard you entertained about as liberal views as there +were going on any subject, but I didn't expect they +embraced Rousseau." Miss Kimpsey spoke quite meekly. "I +know we live in an age of progress, but I guess I'm not +as progressive as some." + +"Many will stay behind," interrupted Mrs. Bell impartially, +"but many more will advance." + +"And I thought maybe Elfrida had been reading that author +without your knowledge or approval, and that perhaps +you'd like to know." + +"I neither approve nor disapprove," said Mrs. Bell, +poising her elbow on the table, her chin upon her hand, +and her judgment, as it were, upon her chin. "I think +her mind ought to develop along the lines that nature +intended; I think nature is wiser than I am"--there was +an effect of condescending explanation here--"and I don't +feel justified in interfering. I may be wrong--" + +"Oh no!" said Miss Kimpsey. + +"But Elfrida's reading has always been very general. She +has a remarkable mind, if you will excuse my saying so; +it devours everything. I can't tell you _when_ she learned +to read, Miss Kimpsey--it seemed to come to her. She has +often reminded me of what you see in the biographies of +distinguished people about their youth. There are really +a great many points of similarity sometimes. I shouldn't +be surprised if Elfrida did anything. I wish _I_ had +had her opportunities!" + +"She's growing very good-looking," remarked Miss Kimpsey. + +"It's an interesting face," Mrs. Bell returned. "Here +is her last photograph. It's full of soul, I think. She +posed herself," Mrs. Bell added unconsciously. + +It was a cabinet photograph of a girl whose eyes looked +definitely out of it, dark, large, well shaded, full of +a desire to be beautiful at once expressed and fulfilled. +The nose was a trifle heavily blocked, but the mouth had +sensitiveness and charm. There was a heaviness in the +chin, too, but the free springing curve of the neck +contradicted that, and the symmetry of the face defied +analysis. It was turned a little to one side, wistfully; +the pose and the expression suited each other perfectly. + +"_Full_ of soul!" responded Miss Kimpsey. "She takes +awfully well, doesn't she! It reminds me--it reminds me +of pictures I've seen of Rachel, the actress, really it +does." + +"I'm afraid Elfrida has no talent _that_ way." Mrs. +Bell's accent was quite one of regret. + +"She seems completely wrapped up in her painting just +now," said Miss Kimpsey, with her eyes still on the +photograph. + +"Yes; I often wonder what her career will be, and sometimes +it comes home to me that it must be art. The child can't +help it--she gets it straight from me. But there were no +art classes in my day." Mrs. Bell's tone implied a large +measure of what the world had lost in consequence. "Mr. +Bell doesn't agree with me about Elfrida's being predestined +for art," she went on, smiling; "his whole idea is that +she'll marry like other people." + +"Well, if she goes on improving in looks at the rate she +has, you'll find it difficult to _prevent_, I should +think, Mrs. Bell." Miss Kimpsey began to wonder at her +own temerity in staying so long. "Should you be opposed +to it?" + +"Oh, I shouldn't be _opposed_ to it exactly. I won't say +I don't expect it. I think she might do better, myself; +but I dare say matrimony will swallow her up as it does +everybody--almost everybody--else." A finer ear than Miss +Kimpsey's might have heard in this that to overcome Mrs. +Bell's objections matrimony must take a very attractive +form indeed, and that she had no doubt it would. Elfrida's +instructress did not hear it; she might have been less +overcome with the quality of these latter-day sentiments +if she had. Little Miss Kimpsey, whom matrimony had not +swallowed up, had risen to go. "Oh, I'm sure the most +gifted couldn't do _better_!" she said, hardily, in +departing, with a blush that turned her from buff-and-gray +to brick color. + +Mrs. Bell picked up the _Revue_ after she had gone, and +read three lines of a paper on the climate and the soil +of Poland. Then she laid it down again at the same angle +with the corner of the table which it had described +before. + +"Rousseau!" she said aloud to herself. "_C'est un peu +fort mais--_" and paused, probably for maturer reflection +upon the end of her sentence. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +"Leslie." said Mrs. Bell, making the unnecessary feminine +twist to get a view of her back hair from the mirror with +a hand-glass, "aren't you _delighted?_ Try to be candid +with yourself now, and own that she's tremendously +improved." + +It would not have occurred to anybody but Mrs. Bell to +ask Mr. Leslie Bell to be candid with himself. Candor +was written in large letters all over Mr. Leslie Bell's +plain, broad countenance. So was a certain obstinacy, +not of will, but of adherence to prescribed principles, +which might very well have been the result of living for +twenty years with Mrs. Leslie Bell. Otherwise he was a +thick-set man with an intelligent bald head, a fresh-colored +complexion, and a well-trimmed gray beard. Mr. Leslie +Bell looked at life with logic, or thought he did, and +took it with ease, in a plain way. He was known to be a +good man of business, with a leaning toward generosity, +and much independence of opinion. It was not a custom +among election candidates to ask Leslie Bell for his +vote. It was pretty well understood that nothing would +influence it except his "views," and that none of the +ordinary considerations in use with refractory electors +would influence his views. He was a man of large, +undemonstrative affections, and it was a matter of private +regret with him that there should have been only one +child, and that a daughter, to bestow them upon. His +simplicity of nature was utterly beyond the understanding +of his wife, who had been building one elaborate theory +after another about him ever since they had been married, +conducting herself in mysterious accordance, but had +arrived accurately only at the fact that he preferred +two lumps of sugar in his tea. + +Mr. Bell did not allow his attention to be taken from +the intricacies of his toilet by his wife's question +until she repeated it. + +"Aren't you charmed with Elfrida, Leslie? Hasn't +Philadelphia improved her beyond your wildest dreams?" + +Mr. Bell reflected. "You know I don't think Elfrida has +ever been as pretty as she was when she was five years +old, Maggie." + +"_Do_ say Margaret," interposed Mrs. Bell plaintively. +She had been suffering from this for twenty years. + +"It's of no use, my dear; I never remember unless there's +company present. I was going to say Elfrida had certainly +grown. She's got to her full size now, I should think, +and she dwarfs you, moth--Margaret." + +Mrs. Bell looked at him with tragic eyes. "Do you see no +more in her than _that?_" she exclaimed. + +"She looks well, I admit she looks well. She seems to +have got a kind of style in Philadelphia." + +"_Style!_" + +"I don't mean fashionable style--a style of her own; and +according to the professors, neither the time nor the +money has been wasted. But she's been a long year away, +Maggie. It's been considerably dull without her for you +and me. I hope she won't take it into her head to want +to leave home again." + +"If it should be necessary to her plan of life--" + +"It won't be necessary. She's nineteen now, and I'd like +to see her settle down here in Sparta, and the sooner +the better. Her painting will be an interest for her all +her life, and if ever she should be badly off she can +teach. That was my idea in giving her the training." + +"Settle down in _Sparta!_" Mrs. Bell repeated, with a +significant curve of her superior lip. "Why, who is +there--" + +"Lots of people, though it isn't for me to name them, +nor for you either, my dear. But speaking generally, +there isn't a town of its size in the Union with a finer +crop of go-ahead young men in it than Sparta." + +Mrs. Bell was leaning against the inside shutter of their +bedroom window, looking out, while she waited for her +husband. As she looked, one of Sparta's go-ahead young +men, glancing up as he passed in the street below and +seeing her there behind the panes, raised his hat. + +"Heavens, _no!_" said Mrs. Bell. "You don't understand, +Leslie." + +"Perhaps not," Mr. Bell returned. "We must get that +packing-case opened after dinner. I'm anxious to see the +pictures." Mr. Bell put the finishing touches to his +little finger-nail and briskly pocketed his penknife. +"Shall we go downstairs now?" he suggested. "Fix your +brooch, mother; it's just on the drop." + +Elfrida Bell had been a long year away--a year that seemed +longer to her than it possibly could to anybody in Sparta, +as she privately reflected when her father made this +observation for the second and the third time. Sparta +accounted for its days chiefly in ledgers, the girl +thought; there was a rising and a going down of the sun, +a little eating and drinking and speedy sleeping, a little +discussion of the newspapers. Sparta got over its days +by strides and stretches, and the strides and stretches +seemed afterward to have been made over gaps and gulfs +full of emptiness. The year divided itself and got its +painted leaves, its white silences, its rounding buds, +and its warm fragrances from the winds of heaven, and so +there were four seasons in Sparta, and people talked of +an early spring or a late fall; but Elfrida told herself +that time had no other division, and the days no other +color. Elfrida seemed to be unaware of the opening of +the new South Ward Episcopal Methodist Church. She +overlooked the municipal elections too, the plan for +overhauling the town waterworks, and the reorganization +of the public library. She even forgot the Browning Club. + +Whereas--though Elfrida would never have said "whereas" +--the days in Philadelphia had been long and full. She +had often lived a week in one of them, and there had been +hours that stretched themselves over an infinity of life +and feeling, as Elfrida saw it, looking back. In reality, +her experience had been usual enough and poor enough; +but it had fed her in a way, and she enriched it with +her imagination, and thought, with keen and sincere pity, +that she had been starved till then. The question that +preoccupied her when she moved out of the Philadelphia +station in the Chicago train was that of future sustenance. +It was under the surface of her thoughts when she kissed +her father and mother and was made welcome home; it raised +a mute remonstrance against Mr. Bell's cheerful prophecy +that she would be content to stay in Sparta for a while +now, and get to know the young society; it neutralized +the pleasure of the triumphs in the packing-box. Besides, +their real delight had all been exhaled at the students' +exhibition in Philadelphia, when Philadelphia looked at +them. The opinion of Sparta, Elfrida thought, was not a +matter for anxiety. Sparta would be pleased in advance. + +Elfrida allowed one extenuating point in her indictment +of Sparta: the place had produced her as she was at +eighteen, when they sent her to Philadelphia. This was +only half conscious--she was able to formulate it later +--but it influenced her sincere and vigorous disdain of +the town correctively, and we may believe that it operated +to except her father and mother from the general wreck +of her opinion to a greater extent than any more ordinary +feeling did. It was not in the least a sentiment of +affection for her birthplace; if she could have chosen +she would very much have preferred to be born somewhere +else. It was simply an important qualifying circumstance. +Her actual and her ideal self, her most mysterious and +interesting self, had originated in the air and the +opportunities of Sparta. Sparta had even done her the +service of showing her that she was unusual, by contrast, +and Elfrida felt that she ought to be thankful to somebody +or something for being as unusual as she was. She had +had a comfortable, spoiled feeling of gratitude for it +before she went to Philadelphia, which had developed in +the meantime into a shudder at the mere thought of what +it meant to be an ordinary person. "I could bear not to +be charming," said she sometimes to her Philadelphia +looking-glass, "but I could _not_ bear not to be clever." + +She said "clever," but she meant more than that. Elfrida +Bell believed that something other than cleverness entered +into her personal equation. She looked sometimes into +her very soul to see what, but the writing there was in +strange characters that faded under her eyes, leaving +her uncomprehending but tranced. Meanwhile art spoke to +her from all sides, finding her responsive and more +responsive. Some books, some pictures, some music brought +her a curious exalted sense of double life. She could +not talk about it at all, but she could slip out into +the wet streets on a gusty October evening, and walk +miles exulting in it, and in the light on the puddles +and in the rain on her face, coming back, it must be +admitted, with red cheeks and an excellent appetite. It +led her into strange absent silences and ways of liking +to be alone, which gratified her mother and worried her +father. When Elfrida burned the gas of Sparta late in +her own room, it was always her father who saw the light +under the door, and who came and knocked and told her +that it was after eleven, and high time she was in bed. +Mrs. Bell usually protested. "How can the child reach +any true development," she asked, "if you interfere with +her like this?" to which Mr. Bell usually replied that +whatever she developed, he didn't want it to be headaches +and hysteria. Elfrida invariably answered, "Yes, papa," +with complete docility; but it must be said that Mr. Bell +generally knocked in vain, and the more perfect the +submission of the daughterly reply the later the gas +would be apt to burn. Elfrida was always agreeable to +her father. So far as she thought of it she was +appreciatively fond of him, but the relation pleased her, +it was one that could be so charmingly sustained. For +already out of the other world she walked in--the world +of strange kinships and insights and recognitions, where +she saw truth afar off and worshipped, and as often met +falsehood in the way and turned raptly to follow--the +girl had drawn a vague and many-shaped idea of artistic +living which embraced the filial attitude among others +less explicable. It gave her pleasure to do certain things +in certain ways. She stood and sat and spoke, and even +thought, at times, with a subtle approval and enjoyment +of her manner of doing it. It was not actual artistic +achievement, but it was the sort of thing that entered +her imagination, as such achievement's natural corollary. +Her self-consciousness was a supreme fact of her +personality; it began earlier than any date she could +remember, and it was a channel of the most unfailing and +intense satisfaction to her from many sources. One was +her beauty, for she had developed an elusive beauty that +served her moods. When she was dull she called herself +ugly--unfairly, though her face lost tremendously in +value then--and her general dislike of dullness and +ugliness became particular and acute in connection with +herself. It is not too much to say that she took a keen +enjoying pleasure in the flush upon her own cheek and +the light in her own eyes no less than in the inward +sparkle that provoked it--an honest delight, she would +not have minded confessing it. Her height, her symmetry, +her perfect abounding health were separate joys to her; +she found absorbing and critical interest in the very +figment of her being. It was entirely preposterous that +a young woman should kneel at an attic window in a flood +of spring moonlight, with, her hair about the shoulders +of her nightgown, repeating Rossetti to the wakeful +budding garden, especially as it was for herself she did +it--nobody else saw her. She knelt there partly because +of a vague desire to taste the essence of the spring and +the garden and Rossetti at once, and partly because she +felt the romance of the foolish situation. She knew of +the shadow her hair made around her throat, and that her +eyes were glorious in the moonlight. Going back to bed, +she paused before the looking-glass and wafted a kiss, +as she blew the candle out, to the face she saw there. +It was such a pretty face, and so full of tire spirit +of. Rossetti and the moonlight, that she couldn't help +it. Then she slept, dreamlessly, comfortably, and late; +and in the morning she had never taken cold. + +Philadelphia had pointed and sharpened all this. The +girl's training there had vitalized her brooding dreams +of producing what she worshipped, had given shape and +direction to her informal efforts, had concentrated them +upon charcoal and canvas. There was an enthusiasm for +work in the Institute, a canonization of names, a blazing +desire to imitate that tried hard to fan itself into +originality. Elfrida kindled at once, and felt that her +soul had lodged forever In her fingers, that art had +found for her, once for all, a sacred embodiment. She +spoke with subdued feeling of its other shapes; she was +at all points sympathetic; but she was no longer at all +points desirous. Her aim was taken. She would not write +novels or compose operas; she would paint. There was some +renunciation in it and some humility. The day she came +home, looking over a dainty sandalwood box full of early +verses, twice locked against her mother's eye, "The desire +of the moth for the star," she said to herself; but she +did not tear them up. That would have been brutal. + +Elfrida wanted to put off opening the case that held her +year's work until next day. She quailed somewhat in +anticipation of her parents' criticisms as a matter of +fact; she would have preferred to postpone parrying them. +She acknowledged this to herself with a little irritation +that it should be so, but when her father insisted, chisel +in hand, she went down on her knees with charming +willingness to help him. Mrs. Bell took a seat on the +sofa and clasped her hands with the expression of one +who prepares for prayer. + +One by one Mr. Leslie Bell drew out his daughter's studies +and copies, cutting their strings, clearing them of their +paper wrappings, and standing each separately against +the wall in his crisp, business-like way. They were all +mounted and framed; they stood very well against the +wall; but Mr. Bell, who began hopefully, was presently +obliged to try to hide his disappointment, the row was +so persistently black and white. Mrs. Bell, on the sofa, +had the look of postponing her devotions. + +"You seem to have done a great many of these--etchings," +said Mr. Bell. + +"Oh, papa! They're not etchings, they're subjects in +charcoal--from casts and things." + +"They do you credit--I've no doubt they do you credit. +They're very nicely drawn," returned her father, "but +they're a good deal alike. We wont be able to hang more +than two of them in the same room. Was _that_ what they +gave you the medal for?" + +Mr. Bell indicated a drawing of Psyche. The lines were +delicate, expressive, and false; the relief was imperfect, +yet the feeling was undeniably caught. As a drawing it +was incorrect enough, but its charm lay in a subtle +spiritual something that bad worked into it from the +girl's own fingers, and made the beautiful empty classic +face modernly interesting. In view of its inaccuracy the +committee had been guilty of a most irregular proceeding +in recognizing it with a medal; but in a very young art +school this might be condoned. + +"It's a perfectly lovely thing," interposed Mrs. Bell +from the sofa. "I'm sure it deserves one." + +Elfrida said nothing. The study was ticketed, it had +obviously won a medal. + +Mr. Bell looked at it critically. "Yes, it's certainly +well done. In spite of the frame--I wouldn't give ten +cents for the frame--the effect is fine. We most find a +good light for that. Oh, now we come to the oil-paintings. +We both presumed you would do well at the oil-paintings; +and for my part," continued Mr. Bell definitely, "I like +them best. There's more variety in them." He was holding +at arm's-length, as he spoke, an oblong scrap of filmy +blue sky and marshy green fields in a preposterously +wide, flat, dull gold frame, and looking at it in a +puzzled way. Presently he reversed it and looked again. + +"No, papa," Elfrida said, "you had it right side up +before." She was biting her lip, and struggling with a +desire to pile them all back into the box and shut the +lid and stamp on it. + +"That's exquisite!" murmured Mrs. Bell, when Mr. Bell +had righted it again. + +"It's one of the worst," said Elfrida briefly. Mr. Bell +looked relieved. "Since that's your own opinion, Elfrida," +he said, "I don't mind saying that I don't care much +about it either. It looks as if you'd got tired of it +before you finished it." + +"Does it?" Elfrida said. + +"Now this is a much better thing, in my opinion," her +father went on, standing the picture of an old woman +behind an apple-stall along the wall with the rest "I +don't pretend to be a judge, but I know what I like, and +I like that. It explains itself." + +"It's a lovely bit of color," remarked Mrs. Bell. + +Elfrida smiled. "Thank you, mamma," she said, and kissed +her. + +When the box was exhausted, Mr. Bell walked up and down +for a few minutes in front of the row against the wall, +with his hands in his pockets, reflecting, while Mrs. +Bell discovered new beauties to the author of them. + +"We'll hang this lot in the dining-room," he said at +length, "and those black-and-whites with the oak mountings +in the parlor. They'll go best with the wall-paper there." + +"Yes, papa." + +"And I hope you won't mind, Elfrida," he added, "but I've +promised that they shall have one of your paintings to +raffle off in the bazar for the alterations in the +Sunday-school next week." + +"Oh no, papa. I shall be delighted." + +Elfrida was sitting beside her mother on the sofa, and +at the dose of this proposition Mr. Bell came and sat +there too. There was a silence for a moment while they +all three confronted the line of pictures leaning against +the wall Then Elfrida began to laugh, and she went on +laughing, to the astonishment of her parents, until the +tears came into her eyes. She stopped as suddenly, kissed +her mother and father, and went upstairs. "I'm afraid +you've hurt Her feelings, Leslie," said Mrs. Bell, when +she had well gone. + +But Elfrida's feelings had not been hurt, though one +might say that the evening left her sense of humor rather +sore. At that moment she was dallying with the temptation +to describe the whole scene in a letter to a valued friend +in Philadelphia, who would have appreciated it with mirth. +In the end she did not write. It would have been too +humiliating. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +"_Pas mal, parbleu!_" Lucien remarked, with pursed-out +lips, running his fingers through his shock of coarse +hair, and reflectively scratching the top of his big head +as he stepped closer to Nadie Palicsky's elbow, where +she stood at her easel in his crowded atelier. The girl +turned and looked keenly into his face, seeking his eyes, +which were on her work with a considering, interested +look. Satisfied, she sent a glance of joyous triumph at +a somewhat older woman, whose place was next, and who +was listening with the amiable effacement of countenance +that is sometimes a more or less successful disguise for +chagrin. On this occasion it seemed to fail, for +Mademoiselle Palicsky turned her attention to Lucien and +her work again with a slight raising of the eyebrows and +a slighter sigh. Her face assumed a gentle melancholy, +as if she were pained at the exhibition of a weakness of +her sex; yet it was unnecessary to be an acute observer +to read there the hope that Lucien's significant phrase +had not by any chance escaped her neighbor. + +"The drawing of the neck," Lucien went on, "is excellently +brutal." Nadie wished he would speak a little louder, +but Lucien always arranged the carrying power of his +voice according to the susceptibilities of the atelier. +He thrust his hands into his pockets and still stood +beside her, looking at her study of the nude model who +posed upon a table in the midst of the students. "In you, +mademoiselle," he added in a tone yet lower, "I find the +woman and the artist divorced. That is a vast advantage--an +immense source of power. I am growing more certain of +you; you are not merely cleverly eccentric as I thought. +You have a great deal that no one can teach you. You have +finished that--I wish to take it downstairs to show the +men. It will not be jeered at, I promise you." + +"_Cher maitre!_ You mean it?" + +"But certainly!" + +The girl handed him the study with a look of almost +doglike gratitude in her narrow gray eyes. Lucien had +never said so much to her before, though the whole atelier +had noticed how often he had been coming to her easel +lately, and had disparaged her in corners accordingly. +She looked at the tiny silver watch she wore in a leather +strap on her left wrist--he had spent nearly five minutes +with her this time, watching her work and talking to her, +in itself a triumph. It was almost four o'clock, and the +winter daylight was going; presently they would all stop +work. Partly for the pleasure of being chaffed and envied +and complimented in the anteroom in the general washing +of brushes, and partly to watch Lucien's rapid progress +among the remaining easels, Mademoiselle Palicsky +deliberately sat down, in a prematurely vacant chair, +slung one slender little limb over the other, and waited. +As she sat there a generous thought rose above her +exultation. She hoped everybody else in the atelier had +guessed what Lucien was saying to her all that while, +and had seen him carry off her day's work, but not the +little American. The little American, who was at least +thirteen inches taller than Mademoiselle Palicsky, was +sufficiently discouraged already, and it was pathetic, +in view of almost a year of failure, to see how she clung +to her ghost of a talent Besides, the little American +admired Nadie Palicsky, her friend, her comrade, quite +enough already. + +Elfrida had heard, nevertheless. She listened eagerly, +tensely, as she always did when Lucien opened his lips +in her neighborhood. When she saw him take the sketch to +show in the men's atelier downstairs, to exhibit to that +horde of animals below, whose studies and sketches and +compositions were so constantly brought up for the stimulus +and instruction of Lucien's women students, she grew +suddenly so white that the girl who worked next her, a +straw-colored Swede, asked her if she were ill, and +offered her a little green bottle of salts of lavender. +"It's that beast of a calorifere," the Swede said, nodding +at the hideous black cylinder that stood near them, +"they will always make it too hot." + +Elfrida waved the salts back hastily--Lucien was coming +her way. She worked seated, and as he seemed on the point +of passing with merely a casual glance and an ambiguous +"H'm!" she started up. The movement effectually arrested +him, unintentional though it seemed. He frowned slightly, +thrusting his hands deep into his coat-pockets, and looked +again. + +"We must find a better place for you, mademoiselle; you +can make nothing of it here so close to the model, and +below him thus." He would have gone on, but in spite of +his intention to avert his eyes he caught the girl's +glance, and something infinitely appealing in it stayed +him again. "Mademoiselle," he said, with visible irritation, +"there is nothing to say that I have not said many times +already. Your drawing is still ladylike, your color is +still pretty, and, _sapristi!_ you have worked with me +a year! Still," he added, recollecting himself--Lucien +never lost a student by over-candor--"considering your +difficult place the shoulders are not so bad. _Continuez_, +mademoiselle." + +The girl's eyes were fastened immovably upon her work as +she sat down again, painting rapidly in an ineffectual, +meaningless way, with the merest touch of color in her +brush. Her face glowed with the deepest shame that had +ever visited her. Lucien was scolding the Swede roundly; +she had disappointed him, he said. Elfrida felt heavily +how impossible it was that _she_ should disappoint him. +And they had all heard--the English girl in the South +Kensington gown, the rich New Yorker, Nadie's rival the +Roumanian, Nadie herself; and they were all, except the +last, working more vigorously for hearing. Nadie had +turned her head away, and so far as the back of a neck +and the tips of two ears could express oblivion of what +had passed, it might have been gathered from hers. But +Elfrida knew better, and she resented the pity of the +pretence more than if she had met Mademoiselle Palicsky's +long light gray eyes full of derisive laughter. + +For a year she had been in it and of it, that intoxicating +life of the Quartier Latin: so much in it that she had +gladly forgotten any former one; so much of it that it +had become treason to believe existence supportable under +any other conditions. It was her pride that she had felt +everything from the beginning; her instinctive apprehension +of all that is to be apprehended in the passionate, +fantastic, vivid life on the left side of the Seine had +been a conscious joy from the day she had taken her tiny +appartement in the Rue Porte Royale, and bought her colors +and sketching-block from a dwarf-like little dealer in +the next street, who assured her proudly that he supplied +Henner and Dagnan-Bouveret, and moreover knew precisely +what she wanted from experience. "_Moi aussi, mademoiselle, +je suis artist!_" She had learned nothing, she had absorbed +everything. It seemed to her that she had entered into +her inheritance, and that in the possessions that throng +the Quartier Latin she was born to be rich. In thinking +this she had an Overpowering realization of the poverty +of Sparta, so convincing that she found it unnecessary +to tell herself that she would never go back there. That +was the unconscious pivotal supposition in everything +she thought or said or did. After the first bewildering +day or two when the exquisite thrill of Paris captured +her indefinitely, she felt the full tide of her life turn +and flow steadily in a new direction with a delight of +revelation and an ecstasy of promise that made nothing +in its sweep of every emotion that had not its birth and +growth in art, and forbade the mere consideration of +anything that might be an obstacle, as if it were a sin. +She entered her new world with proud recognition of its +unwritten laws, its unsanctified morale, its riotous +overflowing ideals; and she was instant in gathering that +to see, to comprehend these was to be thrice blessed, as +not to see, not to comprehend them was to dwell in outer +darkness with the bourgeois, and the "sandpaper" artists, +and others who are without hope. It gave her moments of +pure delight to reflect how little "the people" suspected +the reality of the existence of such a world notwithstanding +all they read and all they professed, and how absolutely +exclusive it was in the very nature of nature; how it +had its own language untranslatable, its own creed +unbelievable, its own customs unfathomable by outsiders, +and yet among the true-born how divinely simple recognition +was. Her allegiance had the loyalty of every fibre of +her being; her scorn of the world she had left was too +honest to permit any posing in that regard. The life at +Sparta assumed the colors and very much the significance +depicted on a bit of faded tapestry; when she thought of +it, it was to groan that so many of her young impressionable +years had been wasted there. She hoarded her years, now +that every day and every hour was suffused with its +individual pleasure or interest, or that keen artistic +pain which also had its value, as a sensation, in the +Quartier Latin. It distressed her to think that she was +almost twenty-one. + +The interminable year that intervened between Elfrida's +return from Philadelphia and her triumph in the matter +of being allowed to go to Paris to study, she had devoted +mainly to the society of the Swiss governess in the Sparta +Seminary for young ladies--Methodist Episcopal--with the +successful object of getting a working knowledge of +French. There had been a certain amount of "young society" +too, and one or two incipient love-affairs, watched with +anxious interest by her father and with a harrowed +conscience by her mother, who knew Elfrida's capacity +for amusing herself; and unlimited opportunities had +occurred for the tacit exhibition of her superiority to +Sparta, of which she had not always taken advantage. But +the significance of the year gathered into the French +lessons; it was by virtue of these that the time had a +place in her memory. Mademoiselle Joubert supplemented +her instruction with a violent affection, a great deal +of her society, and the most entertainingly modern of +the French novels, which Brentano sent her monthly in +enticing packets, her single indulgence. So that after +the first confusion of a multitude of tongues in the +irrelevant Parisian key Elfrida found herself reasonably +fluent and fairly at ease. The illumined jargon of the +atelier staid with her naturally; she never forgot a word +or a phrase, and in two months she was babbling and +mocking with the rest. + +She lived alone; she learned readily to do it on eighty +francs a month, and her appartement became charming in +three weeks. She divined what she should have there, and +she managed to get extraordinary bargains in mystery and +history out of the dealers in such things, so cracked +and so rusty, so moth-eaten and of such excellent color, +that the escape of the combined effect from _banalite_ +was a marvel. She had a short, sharp struggle with her +American taste for simple elegance in dress, and overthrew +it, aiming, with some success, at originality instead. +She found it easy in Paris to invest her striking +personality in a distinctive costume, sufficiently becoming +and sufficiently odd, of which a broad soft felt hat, +which made a delightful brigand of her, and a Hungarian +cloak formed important features. The Hungarian cloak +suited her so extremely well that artistic considerations +compelled her to wear it occasionally, I fear, when other +people would have found it uncomfortably warm. In nothing +that she said or did or admired or condemned was there +any trace of the commonplace, except, perhaps, the desire +to avoid it; it had become her conviction that she owed +this to herself. She was thoroughly popular in the atelier, +her _petits soupers_ were so good, her enthusiasms so +generous, her drawing so bad. The other pupils declared +that she had a head _divinement tragique_, and for those +of them she liked she sometimes posed, filling impressive +parts in their weekly compositions. They all knew the +little appartement in the Rue Porte Royale, more or less +well according to the favor with which they were received. +Nadie Palicsky perhaps knew it best--Nadie Palicsky and +her friend Monsieur Andre Vambery, who always accompanied +her when, she came to Elfrida's in the evening, finding +it impossible to allow her to be out alone at night, +which Nadie confessed agreeable to her vanity, but a bore. + +Elfrida found it difficult in the beginning to admire +the friend. He was too small for dignity, and Nadie's +inspired comparison of his long black hair to "_serpents +noirs_" left her unimpressed. Moreover she thought she +detected about him a personal odor which was neither that +of sanctity nor any other abstraction. It took time and +conversation and some acquaintance with values as they +obtain at the Ecole des Beaux Arts, and the knowledge of +what it meant to be "selling," to lift Monsieur Vambery +to his proper place in her regard. After that she blushed +that he had ever held any other. But from the first +Elfrida had been conscious of a kind of pride in her +unshrinking acceptance of the situation. She and Nadie +had exchanged a pledge of some sort, when Mademoiselle +Palicsky bethought herself of the unconfessed fact. She +gave Elfrida a narrow look, and then leaned back in her +low chair and bent an imperturbable gaze upon the slender +spiral of blue smoke that rose from the end of her +cigarette. + +"It is necessary now that you should know, petite--nobody +else does, Lucien would be sure to make a fuss, but--I +have a lover, and we have decided about marriage that it +is ridiculous. It is a _brave ame_. You ought to know +him; but if it makes any difference--" + +Elfrida reflected afterward with satisfaction that she +had not even changed color, though she had found the +communication electric. It seemed to her that there had +been something dignified, noble almost, in the answer +she had made, with a smile that acknowledged the fact +that the world had scruples on such accounts as these: + +"_Cela m'est absolument egal!_" + +So far as the life went it was perfect. The Quartier +spoke and her soul answered it, and the world had nothing +to compare with a conversation like that. But the question +of production, of achievement, was beginning to bring +her moments when she had a terrible sensation that the +temperature of her passion was chilled. She had not yet +seen despair, but she had now and then lost her hold of +herself, and she had made acquaintance with fear. There +had been no vivid realization of failure, but a problem +was beginning to form in her mind, and with it a distinct +terror of the solution, which sometimes found a shape in +her dreams. In waking, voluntary moments she would see +her problem only as an unanswerable enigma. + +Yet in the beginning she had felt a splendid confidence. +Her appropriation of theory had been so brilliant and so +rapid, her instructive appreciation had helped itself +out so well with the casual formulas of the schools, she +seemed to herself to have an absolute understanding of +expression. She held her social place among the others +by her power of perception, and that, with the completeness +of her repudiation of the bourgeois, had given her Nadie +Palicsky, whom the rest found difficult, variable, +unreasonable. Elfrida was certain that if she might only +talk to Lucien she could persuade him of a great deal +about her talent that escaped him--she was sore it escaped +him--in the mere examination of her work. It chafed her +always that her personality could not touch the master; +that she must day after day be only the dumb, submissive +pupil. She felt sometimes that there were things she +might say to Lucien which would be interesting and valuable +for him to hear. + +Lucien was always non-committal for the first few months. +Everybody said so, and it was natural enough. Elfrida +set her teeth against his silences, his casual looks and +ambiguous encouragements for a length of time which did +infinite credit to her determination. She felt herself +capable of an eternity of pain; she was proudly conscious +of a willingness to oppose herself to innumerable +discouragements--to back her talent, as it were, against +all odds. That was historic, dignified, to be expected! +But in the inmost privacy of her soul she had conceived +the character of the obstacles she was prepared to face, +and the list resolutely excluded any idea that it might +not be worth while. Indifference and contempt cut at the +very roots of her pledges to herself. As she sat listening +on this afternoon to the vivid terms of Lucien's disapproval +of what the Swede had done, she had a sharp consciousness +of this severance. + +She had nothing to say to any one in the general babble +of the anteroom, and nobody notified her white face and +resolute eyes particularly--the Americans were always +so pale and so _exalte_. Nadie kept away from her. +Elfrida had to cross the room and bring her, with a little +touch of angry assertion upon the arm, from the middle +of the group she had drawn around her, on purpose, as +her friend knew. + +"I want you to dine with me--really _dine_," she said, +and her voice was both eager and repressed. "We win go +to Babaudin's--one gets an excellent haricot there--and +you shall have that little white cheese that you love. +Come! I want you particularly. I will even make him +bring champagne--anything." + +Nadie gave her a quick look and made a little theatrical +gesture of delight. + +"_Quell bonheur!_" she cried for the benefit of the +others; and then in a lower tone: "But not Babaudins, +petite. Andre will not permit Babaudin's; he says it is +not _convenable_," and she threw up her eyes with mock +resignation. "Say Papaud's. They keep their feet off the +table at Papaud's--there are fewer of those _betes des +Anglais_." + +"Papaud's is cheaper," Elfrida returned darkly. "The +few Englishmen who dine at Babaudin's behave perfectly +well. I will not be insulted about the cost. I'll be +answerable to Andre. You don't lie as a general thing, +and why now? I can afford it, truly. You need not be +distressed." + +Mademoiselle Palicsky looked into the girl's tense face +for an instant, and laughed a gay assent. But to herself +she said, as she finished drying her brushes on an +inconceivably dirty bit of cotton: "She has found herself +out, she has come to the truth. She has discovered that +it is not in her, and she is coming to me for corroboration. +Well, I will not give it, me! It is extremely disagreeable, +and I have not the courage. _Pourquoi donc!_ I will send +her to Monsieur John Kendal; she may make him responsible. +He will break her, but he will not lie to her; they +sacrifice all to their consciences, those English! And +now, you good-natured fool, you are in for a devil of an +evening!" + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +"Three months more," Elfrida Bell said to herself next +morning, in the act of boiling an egg over a tiny kerosene +stove in the cupboard that served her as a kitchen, "and +I will put it to every test I know. Three unflinching +months! John Kendal will not have gone back to England +by that time. I shall still get his opinion. If he is +only as encouraging as Nadie was last night, dear thing! +I almost forgave her for being so much, much cleverer +than I am. Oh, letters!" as a heavy knock repeated itself +upon the door of the room outside. + +There was only one; it was thrust beneath the door, +showing a white triangle to her expectancy as she ran +out to secure it, while the fourth flight creaked under +Madame Vamousin descending. She picked it up with a light +heart--she was young and she had slept. Yesterday's strain +had passed; she was ready to count yesterday's experience +among the things that must be met. Nadie had been so +sensible about it. This was a letter from home, and the +American mail was not due until next day. Inside there +would be news of a little pleasure trip to New York, +which her father and mother had been planning lately +--Elfrida constantly urged upon her parents the necessity +of amusing themselves--and a remittance. The remittance +would be more than usually welcome, for she was a little +in debt--a mere trifle, fifty or sixty francs; but Elfrida +hated being in debt. She tore the end of the envelope +across with absolute satisfaction, which was only half +chilled when she opened out each of the four closely +written sheets of foreign letter-paper in turn and saw +that the usual postal order was not there. + +Having ascertained this however, she went back to her +egg; in another ten seconds it would have been hard-boiled, +a thing she detested. There was the, egg, and there was +some apricot-jam--the egg in a slender-stemmed Arabian +silver cup, the jam golden in a little round dish of +wonderful old blue. She set it forth, with the milk-bread +and the butter and the coffee, on a bit of much mended +damask with a pattern of rosebuds and a coronet in one +corner. Her breakfast gave her several sorts of pleasure. + +Half an hour after it was over she was still sitting with +the letter in her lap. It is possible to imagine that +she looked ugly. Her dark eyes had a look of persistence +in spite of fear, a line or two shot up from between her +brows, her lips were pursed a little and drawn down at +the corners, her chin thrust forward. Her face and her +attitude helped each other to express the distinctest +possible negative. Her neck had an obstinate bend; she +leaned forward clasping her knees, for the moment a +creature of rigid straight lines. She had hardly moved +since she read the letter. + +She was sorry to learn that her father had been unfortunate +in business, that the Illinois Indubitable Insurance +Company had failed. At his age the blow would be severe, +and the prospect, after a life of comparative luxury, of +subsisting even in Sparta on eight hundred dollars a year +could not be an inviting one for either of her parents. +When she thought of their giving up the white brick house +in Columbia Avenue and going to live in Cox Street, +Elfrida was thoroughly grieved. She felt the sincerest +gratitude, however, that the misfortune had not come +sooner, before she had learned the true significance of +living, while yet it might have placed her in a state of +blind irresolution which would probably have lasted +indefinitely. After a year in Paris she was able to make +up her mind, and this she could not congratulate herself +upon sufficiently, since a decision at the moment was of +such vital importance! For one point upon which Mrs. +Leslie's letter insisted, regretfully but strongly, was +that the next remittance, which they hoped to be able to +send in a week or two, would necessarily be the last. It +would be as large as they could make it; at all events +it would amply cover her passage and railway expenses to +Sparta, and of course she would sail as soon as it reached +her. It was an elaborate letter, written in phrases which +Mrs. Leslie thought she evolved, but probably remembered +from a long and comprehensive course of fiction as +appropriate to the occasion, and Elfrida read between +the lines with some impatience how largely their trouble +was softened to her mother by the consideration that it +would inevitably bring her back to them. "We can bear it +well if we bear it together," wrote Mrs. Bell. "You have +always been our brave daughter, and your young courage +will be invaluable to us now. Your talents will be our +flowers by the way-side. We shall take the keenest possible +delight in watching them expand, as, even under the cloud +of financial adversity, we know they will." + +"Dear over-confident parent," Elfrida reflected grimly +at this point, "I must yet prove that I have any." + +Along with the situation she studied elaborately the +third page of the _Sparta Sentinel_. When it had arrived, +months before, containing the best part of a long letter +describing Paris, which she had written to her mother in +the first freshness of her delighted impressions, she +had glanced over it with half-amused annoyance at the +foolish parental pride that suggested printing it. She +was already too remote from the life of Sparta to care +very much one way or another, but such feeling as she +had was of that sort. And the compliments from the +minister, from various members of the Browning Club, from +the editor himself, that filtered through her mother's +letters during the next two or three weeks, made her +shrug with their absolute irrelevance to the only praise +that could thrill her and the only purpose she held dear. +Even now, when the printed lines contained the significance +of a possible resource, she did not give so much as a +thought to the flattering opinion of Sparta as her mother +had conveyed it to her. She read them over and over, +relying desperately on her own critical sense and her +knowledge of what the Paris correspondent of the _Daily +Dial_ thought of her chances in that direction. He, Frank +Parke, had told her once that if her brush failed she +had only to try her pen, though he made use of no such +commonplace as that. He said it, too, at the end of half +an hour's talk with her, only half an hour. Elfrida, +when she wished to be exact with her vanity, told herself +that it could not have been more than twenty-five minutes. +She wished for particular reasons to be exact with it +now, and she did not fail to give proper weight to the +fact that Frank Parke had never seen her before that day. +The Paris correspondent of the _Daily Dial_ was well +enough known to be of the _monde_, and rich enough to be +as bourgeois as anybody. Therefore some of the people +who knew him thought it odd that at his age this gentleman +should prefer the indelicacies of the Quartier to those +of "tout Paris," and the bad vermouth and cheap cigars +of the Rue Luxembourg to the peculiarly excellent quality +of champagne with which the president's wife made her +social atonement to the Faubourg St. Germain. But it was +so, and its being so rendered Frank Parke's opinion that +Miss Bell could write if she chose to try, not only +supremely valuable to her, but available for the second +time if necessary, which was perhaps more important. + +There would be a little more money from Sparta, perhaps +one hundred and fifty dollars. It would come in a week, +and after that there would be none. But a supply of it, +however modest, must be arranged somehow--there were the +"frais" of the atelier, to speak of nothing else. The +necessity was irritatingly absolute. Elfrida wished that +her scruples were not so acute about arranging it by +writing for the press. "If I could think for a moment +that I had any right to it as a means of expression!" +she reflected. "But I haven't. It is an art for others. +And it _is_ an art, as sacred as mine. I have no business +to degrade it to my uses." Her mental position when she +went to see Frank Parke was a cynical compromise with +her artistic conscience, of which she nevertheless +sincerely regretted the necessity. + +The correspondent of the _Daily Dial_ had a club for one +side of the river and a cafe for the other. He dined +oftenest at the cafe, and Elfrida's card, with "urgent" +inscribed in pencil on it, was brought to him that evening +as he was finishing his coffee. She had no difficulty +in getting it taken in. Mr. Parke's theory was that a +newspaper man gained more than he lost by accessibility. +He came out immediately, furtively returning a toothpick +to his waistcoat pocket--a bald, stout gentleman of middle +age, dressed in loose gray clothes, with shrewd eyes, a +nose which his benevolence just saved from being hawk-like, +a bristling white mustache, and a pink double chin. It +rather pleased Frank Parke, who was born in Hammersmith, +to be so constantly taken for an American--presumably a +New Yorker. + +"Monsieur--" began Elfrida a little formally. She would +not have gone on in French, but it was her way to use +this form with the men she knew in Paris, irrespective +of their nationality, just as she invariably addressed +letters which were to be delivered in Sparta, Illinois, +"a madame Leslie Bell, Avenue Columbia," of that +municipality. + +"Miss Elfrida, I am delighted to see you," he interrupted +her, stretching out one hand and looking at his watch +with the other. "I am fortunate in having fifteen whole +minutes to put at your disposal At the end of that time +I have an appointment with a cabinet minister, who would +rather see the devil. So I most be punctual. Shall we +walk a bit along these dear boulevards, or shall I get +a fiacre? No? You're quite right--Paris was made for +eternal walking. Now, what is it, my dear child?" + +Mr. Parke had already concluded that it was money, and +had fixed the amount he would lend. It was just half of +what Mademoiselle Knike, of Paolo Rossi's, had succeeded +in extracting from him last week. He liked having a +reputation for amiability among the ateliers, but he must +not let it cost too much. + +Elfrida felt none of that benumbing shame which sometimes +seizes those who would try literature confessing to those +who have succeeded in it, and the occasion was too +important for the decorative diffidence that might have +occurred to her if it had been trivial. She had herself +well gathered together, and she would have been concise +and direct even if there had been more than fifteen +minutes. + +"One afternoon last September, at Nadie Palicsky's--there +is no chance that you will remember, but I assure you it +is so--you told me that I might, if I tried--write, +monsieur." + +The concentration of her purpose in her voice made itself +felt where Frank Parke kept his acuter perceptions, and +put them at her service. + +"I remember perfectly," he said. + +"_Je m'en felicite_. It is more than I expected. Well, +circumstances have made it so that I must either write +or scrub. Scrubbing spoils one's hands, and besides, it +isn't sufficiently remunerative. So I have come to ask +you whether you seriously thought so, or whether it was +only politeness--_blague_--or what? I know it is horrible +of me to insist like, this, but you see I must." Her big +dark eyed looked at him without a shadow of appeal, rather +as if he were destiny and she were unafraid. + +"Oh, I meant it," he returned ponderingly. "You can often +tell by the way people talk that they would write well. +But there are many things to be considered, you know." + +"Oh, I know--whether one has any real right to write, +anything to say that makes it worth while. I'm afraid +I can't find that I have. But there must be scullery-maid's +work in literature--in journalism, isn't there? I could +do that, I thought. After all, it's only one's own art +that one need keep sacred." She added the last sentence +a little defiantly. + +Bat the correspondent of the _Daily Dial_ was not thinking +of that aspect of the matter. "It's not a thing you can +jump into," he said shortly. "Have you written anything, +anywhere, for the press before?" + +"Only one or two things that have appeared in the local +paper at home. They were more or less admired by the +people there, so far as that goes." + +"Were you paid for them?" + +Elfrida shook her head. "I've often heard the editor say +he paid for nothing but his telegrams," she said. + +"There it is, you see." + +"I want to write for _Raffini's Chronicle_," Elfrida said +quickly. "You know the editor of _Raffini_, of course, +Mr. Parke. You know everybody. Will you do me the very +great favor to tell him that I will report society +functions for him at one half the price he is accustomed +to pay for such writing, and do it more entertainingly?" + +Frank Parke smiled. "You are courageous indeed, Hiss +Elfrida. That is done by a woman who is invited, every +where in her proper person, and knows 'tout Paris' like +her alphabet I believe she holds stock in _Raffini_; +anyway, they would double her pay rather than lose her. +You would have more chance of ousting their leader-writer." + +"I should be sorry to oust anybody," Elfrida returned +with dignity. + +"How do you propose to help it, if you go in for doing +better or cheaper what somebody else has been doing +before?" + +Miss Bell thought for a minute, and demonstrated her +irresponsibility with a little shrug. "Then I'm very +sorry," she said. "But, monsieur, you haven't told me +what to do." + +The illuminator of European politics for the _Daily Dial_ +wished heartily that it had been a matter of two or three +hundred francs. + +"I'm afraid I--well, I don't see how I _can_ give you +any very definite advice. The situation doesn't admit of +it, Miss Bell. But--have you given up Lucien?" + +"No. It is only that--that I must earn money to pay him." + +"Oh! Home supplies stopped?" + +"My people have lost all their money except barely enough +to live on. I cant expect another sou." + +"That's hard lines!" + +"I'm awfully sorry for them. But it isn't enough, being +sorry, you know. I must do something. I thought I might +write for _Raffini_, for--for practice, you know--the +articles they print are really very bad--and afterward +arrange to send Paris letters to some of the big American +newspapers. I know a woman who does it I assure you she +is quite stupid. And she is paid--but enormously!" Mr. +Parke repressed his inclination to smile. + +"I believe that sort of thing over there is very much in +the hands of the syndicates--McClure and those fellows," +he said, "and they won't look at you unless you're known. +I don't want to discourage you, Miss Bell, but it would +take you at least a year to form a connection. You would +have to learn Paris about five times as well as you fancy +you know it already, and then you would require a special +course of training to find out what to write about. And +then, remember, you would have to compete with people +who know every inch of the ground. Now if I can be of +any assistance to you _en camarade_, you know, in the +matter of your passage home--" + +"Thanks," Elfrida interposed quickly, "I'm not going +home. If I can't write I can scrub, as I said. I must +find out." She put out her hand. "I am sure there are +not many of those fifteen minutes left," she said, smiling +and quite undismayed. "I have to thank you very sincerely +for--for sticking to the opinion you expressed when it +was only a matter of theory. As soon as I justify it in +practice I'll let you know." + +The correspondent of the _Daily Dial_ hesitated, looked +at his watch and hesitated again. "There's plenty of +time," he fibbed, frowning over the problem of what might +be done. + +"Oh no!" Elfrida said. "You are very kind, but there +can't be. You will be very late, and perhaps his Excellency +will have given the audience to the devil instead--or to +Monsieur de Pommitz." Her eyes expressed perfect +indifference. Frank Parke laughed outright. De Pommitz +was his rival for every political development, and shone +dangerously in the telegraphic columns of the London +_World_. + +"De Pommitz isn't in it this time," he said. "I'll tell +you what I _might_ do, Miss Elfrida. How long have you +got for this--experiment?" + +"Less than a week." + +"Well, go home and write me an article--something locally +descriptive. Make it as bright as you can, and take a +familiar subject. Let me have it in three days, and I'll +see if I can get it into _Raffini_ for you. Of course, +you know, I can't promise that they'll look at it." + +"You are very good," Elfrida returned hastily, seeing +his real anxiety to be off. "Something locally descriptive. +I've often thought the atelier would make a good subject." + +"Capital, capital! Only be very careful about personalities +and so forth. _Raffini_ hates giving offence. Good-bye! +Here you, _cocher!_ Boulevard Haussmann!" + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +John Kendal had only one theory that was not received +with respect by the men at Lucien's. They quoted it as +often as other things he said, but always in a spirit of +derision, while Kendal's ideas as a rule got themselves +discussed seriously, now and then furiously. This young +man had been working in the atelier for three years with +marked success almost from the beginning. The first things +he did had a character and an importance that brought +Lucien himself to admit a degree of soundness in the +young fellow's earlier training, which was equal to great +praise. Since then he had found the line in the most +interesting room in the Palais d'Industrie, the _cours_ +had twice medalled him, and Albert Wolff was beginning +to talk about his _coloration delicieuse_. Also it was +known that he had condescended for none of these things. +His success in Paris added piquancy to his preposterous +notion that an Englishman should go home and paint England +and hang his work in the Academy, and made it even more +unreasonable than if he had failed. + +"For me," remarked Andre Vambery, with a finely curled +lip, "I never see an English landscape without thinking +of what it would bring _par hectare_. It is _trop +arrangee_, that country, all laid out in a pattern of +hedges and clumps, for the pleasure of the milords. And +every milord has the taste of every other milord. He will +go home to perpetuate that!" + +"_Si, si! Mais c'est pour sa patrie._" + +Nadie defended him. Women always did. + +"Bah!" returned her lover. "_Pour nous autres artists la +France est la patrie, et la France seule!_ Every day he +is in England he will lose--lose--lose. Enfin, he will +paint the portraits of the wives and daughters of Sir +Brown and Sir Smith, and he will do it as Sir Brown and +Sir Smith advise. _Avec son talent unique, distinctive! +Oh, je suis a bout de patience!_" + +When Kendal's opinion materialized and it became known +that he meant to go back in February, and would send +nothing to the Salon that year, the studio tore its hair +and hugged its content. All but the master, who attempted +to dissuade his pupil with literal tears, of which he +did not seem in the least ashamed and which annoyed Kendal +very much. In fact, it was a dramatic splash of Lucien's +which happened to fall upon his coat-sleeve that decided +Kendal finally about the impossibility of living always +in Paris. He could not take life seriously where the +emotions lent themselves so easily. And Kendal thought +that he ought to take life seriously, because his natural +tendency was otherwise. Kendal was an Englishman with a +temperament which multiplied his individuality. If his +father, who was once in the Indian Staff Corps, had lived, +Kendal would probably have gone into the Indian Staff +Corps too. And if his mother, who was of clerical stock, +had not died about the same time, it is more than likely +that she would have persuaded him to the bar. With his +parents the obligation to be anything in particular seemed +to Kendal to have been removed, however, and he followed +his inclination in the matter instead, which made him an +artist. He would have found life too interesting to +confine his observation of it within the scope of any +profession, but of course he could have chosen none which +presents it with greater fascination. To speak quite +baldly about him, his intelligence and his sympathies +had a wider range than is represented by any one power +of expression, even the catholic brush. He had the +analytical turn of the age, though it had been denied +him to demonstrate what he saw except through an art +which is synthetic. With a more comprehensive conception +of modern tendencies and a subtler descriptive vocabulary, +Kendal might have divided his allegiance between Lucien +and the magazines, and ended a light-handed fiction-maker +of the more refined order of realists. As it was, he made +his studies for his own pleasure, and if the people he +met ministered to him further than they knew, nothing +came of it more than that. What he liked best to achieve +was an intimate knowledge of his fellow-beings from an +outside point of view. Where intimate knowledge came of +intimate association he found that it usually compromised +his independence of criticism, which in the Quartier +Latin was a serious matter. So he rather cold-bloodedly +aimed at keeping his own personality independent of his +observation of other people's, and as a rule he succeeded. + +That Paris had neither made Kendal nor marred him may be +gathered for the first part from his contentment to go +back to paint in his native land, for the second from +the fact that he had a relation with Elfrida Bell which +at no point verged toward the sentimental. He would have +found it difficult to explain in which direction it did +verge--in fact, he would have been very much surprised +to know that he sustained any relation at all toward Miss +Bell important enough to repay examination. The red-armed, +white-capped proprietress of a _cremerie_ had effected +their introduction by regretting to them jointly that +she had only one helping of _compote de cerises_ left, +and leaving them to arrange its consumption between them. +And it is safer than it would be in most similar cases +to say that neither Elfrida's heavy-lidded beauty nor +the smile that gave its instant attraction to Kendal's +delicately eager face had much to do with the establishment +of their acquaintance, such as it was. Kendal, though +his virtue was not of the heroic order, would have turned +a contemptuous heel upon any imputation of the sort, and +Elfrida would have stared it calmly out of countenance. + +To Elfrida it soon became a definite and agreeable fact +that she and the flower of Lucien's had things to say to +each other--things of the rare temperamental sort that +say themselves seldom. Within a fortnight she had made +a niche for him in that private place where she kept the +images of those toward whom she sustained this peculiarly +sacred obligation, and to meet him had become one of +those pleasures which were in Sparta so notably +unattainable. I cannot say that considerations which from +the temperamental point of view might be described as +ulterior had never suggested themselves to Miss Bell. +She had thought of them, with a little smile, as a possible +development on Kendal's part that might be amusing. And +then she had invariably checked the smile, and told +herself that she would be sorry, very sorry. Instinctively +she separated the artist and the man. For the artist she +had an admiration none the less sincere for its +exaggerations, and a sympathy which she thought the best +of herself; for the man, nothing, except the +half-contemptuous reflection that he was probably as +other men. + +If Elfrida stamped herself less importantly upon the +surface of Kendal's mind than he did upon hers, it may +be easily enough accounted for by the multiplicity of +images there before her. I do not mean to imply that all +or many of these were feminine, but, as I have indicated, +Kendal was more occupied with impressions of all sorts +than is the habit of his fellow-countrymen, and at twenty +eight he had managed to receive quite enough to make a +certain seriousness necessary in a fresh one. There was +no seriousness in his impression of Elfrida. If he had +gone so far as to trace its lines he would have found +them to indicate a more than slightly fantastic young +woman with an appreciation of certain artistic verities +out of all proportion to her power to attain them. But +he had not gone so far. His encounters with her were +among his casual amusements; and if the result was an +occasional dinner together or first night at the Folies +Dramatiques, his only reflection was that a girl who +could do such things and not feel compromised was rather +pleasant to know, especially so clever a girl as Elfrida +Bell. He did not recognize in his own mind the mingled +beginnings of approval and disapproval which end in a +personal theory. He was quite unaware, for instance, that +he liked the contemptuous way in which she held at arm's +length the moral laxities of the Quartier, and disliked +the cool cynicism with which she flashed upon them there +the sort of _jeu de mot_ that did not make him uncomfortable +on the lips of a Frenchwoman. He understood that she had +nursed Nadie Palicsky through three weeks of diphtheria, +during which time Monsieur Vambery took up his residence +fourteen blocks away, without any special throb of +enthusiasm; and he heard her quote Voltaire on the +miracles--some of her ironies were a little old-fashioned +--without conscious disgust He was willing enough to meet +her on the special plane she constituted for herself--not +as a woman, but as an artist and a Bohemian. But there +were others who made the same claim with whom it was an +affectation or a pretence, and Kendal granted it to +Elfrida without any special conviction that she was more +sincere than the rest. Besides, it is possible to grow +indifferent, even to the unconventionalities, and Kendal +had been three years in the Quartier Latin. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +If Lucien had examined Miss Bell's work during the week +of her experiment with Anglo-Parisian journalism, he +would have observed that it grew gradually worse as the +days went on. The devotion of the small hours to composition +does not steady one's hand for the reproduction of the +human muscles, or inform one's eye as to the correct +manipulation of flesh tints. Besides, the model suffered +from Elfrida an unconscious diminution of enthusiasm. +She was finding her first serious attempt at writing more +absorbing than she would have believed possible, and she +felt that she was doing it better than she expected. She +was hardly aware of the moments that slipped by while +she dabbled aimlessly in unconsidered color meditating +a phrase, or leaned back and let nothing interfere with +her apprehension of the atelier with the other reproductive +instinct. She did not recognize the deterioration in her +work, either; and at the very moment when Nadie Palicsky, +observing Lucien's neglect of her, inwardly called him +a brute, Elfrida was to leave the atelier an hour earlier +for the sake of the more urgent thing which she had to +do. She finished it in five days, and addressed it to +Frank Parke with a new and uplifting sense of +accomplishment. The ever fresh miracle happened to her, +too, in that the working out of one article begot the +possibilities of half a dozen more, and the next day saw +her well into another. In posting the first she had a +premonition of success. She saw it as it would infallibly +appear in a conspicuous place in _Raffini's Chronicle_, +and heard the people of the American Colony wondering +who in the world could have written it. She conceived +that it would fill about two columns and a half. On +Saturday afternoon, when Kendal joined her crossing the +courtyard of the atelier, she was preoccupied with the +form of her rebuff to any inquiries that might be made +as to whether she had written it. + +They walked on together, talking casually of casual +things. Kendal, glancing every now and then at the wet +study Elfrida was carrying home, felt himself distinctly +thankful that she did not ask his opinion of it, as she +had, to his embarrassment once or twice before; though +it was so very bad that he was half disposed to abuse it +without permission. Miss Bell seemed persistently +interested in other things, however--the theatres, the +ecclesiastical bill before the Chamber of Deputies, the +new ambassador, even the recent improvement of the police +system. Kendal found her almost tiresome. His +half-interested replies interpreted themselves to her +after a while, and she turned their talk upon trivialities, +with a gay exhilaration which was not her frequent mood. + +She asked him to come up when they arrived, with a frank +cordiality which he probably thought of as the American +way. He went up, at all events, and for the twentieth +time admired the dainty chic of the little apartment, +telling himself, also for the twentieth time, that it +was extraordinary how agreeable it was to be there +--agreeable with a distinctly local agreeableness whether +its owner happened to be also there or not. In this he +was altogether sincere, and only properly discriminating. +He spent fifteen minutes wondering at her whimsical +interest, and when she suddenly asked him if he really +thought the race _had_ outgrown its physical conditions, +he got up to go, declaring it was too bad, she must have +been working up back numbers of the _Nineteenth Century_. +At which she consented to turn their talk into its usual +personal channel, and he sat down again content. + +"Doesn't the Princess Bobaloff write a charming hand!" +Elfrida said presently, tossing him a square white +envelope. + +"It isn't hers if it's an invitation. She has a wretched +relation of a Frenchwoman living with her who does all +that. May I light a cigarette?" + +"You know you may. It is an invitation, but I didn't +accept." + +"Her soiree last night? If I'd known you had been asked +I should have missed you." + +"I ought to tell you," Elfrida went on, coloring a little, +"that I was invited through Leila Van Camp--that +ridiculously rich girl, you know, they say Lucien is in +love with. The Van Camp has been affecting me a good deal +lately. She says my manners are so pleasing, and besides, +Lucien once told her she painted better than I did. The +princess is a great friend of hers." + +"Why didn't you go?" Kendal asked, without any appreciable +show of curiosity. If he had been looking closely enough +he would have seen that she was waiting for his question. + +"Oh, it lies somehow, that sort of thing, outside my idea +of life. I have nothing to say to it, and it has nothing +to say to me." + +Kendal smiled introspectively. He saw why he had been +shown the letter. "And yet," he said, "I venture to hope +that if we had met there we might have had some little +conversation." + +Elfrida leaned back in her chair and threw up her head, +locking her slender fingers over her knee. "Of coarse," +she said indifferently. "I understand why you should go. +You must. You have arrived at a point where the public +claims a share of your personality. That's different." + +Kendal's face straightened out. He was too much of an +Englishman to understand that a personally agreeable +truth might not be flattery, and Elfrida never knew how +far he resented her candor when it took the liberty of +being gracious. + +"I went in the humble hope of getting a good supper and +seeing some interesting people," he told her. "Loti was +there, and Madame Rives-Chanler, and Sargent." + +"And the supper?" Miss Bell inquired, with a touch of +sarcasm. + +"Disappointing," he returned seriously. "I should say +bad--as bad as possible." She gave him an impatient +glance. + +"But those people--Loti and the rest--it is only a +serio-comic game to them to go the Princess Bobaloffs. +They wouldn't if they could help it They don't live their +real lives in such places--among such people!" + +Kendal took the cigarette from his mouth and laughed. +"Your Bohemianism is quite Arcadian in its quality +--deliriously fresh," he declared. "I think they do. +Genius clings to respectability after a time. A most +worthy and amiable lady, the Princess." + +Elfrida raised the arch of her eyebrows. "Much too worthy +and amiable," she ventured, and talked of something else, +leaving Kendal rasped, as she sometimes did, without +being in any degree aware of it. + +"How preposterous it is," he said, moved by his irritation +to find something preposterous, "that girls like Miss +Van Camp should come here to work." + +"They can't help being rich. It shows at least the germ +of a desire to work out their own salvation. I think I +like it." + +"It shows the germ of an affectation in rather an advanced +stage of development. I give her three months more to +tire of snubbing Lucien and distributing caramels to the +less fortunate young ladies of the studio. Then she will +pack up those pitiful attempts of hers and take them home +to New York, and spend a whole season in glorious apology +for them." + +Elfrida looked at him steadily for an instant. Then she +laughed lightly. "Thanks," she said. "I see you had not +forgotten my telling you that Lucien said she painted +better than I did." + +Kendal wondered whether he had really meant to go so far. "I +am sorry," he said, "but I am afraid I had not forgotten it." + +"Well, you would not say it out of ill-nature. You must +have wanted me to know--what you thought." + +"I think," he said seriously, "that I did--at least that +I do--want you to know. It seems a pity that you should +work on here--mistakenly--when there are other things +that you could do well." + +"'Other things' have been mentioned to me before," she +returned, with a strain in her voice that she tried to +banish. "May I ask what particular thing occurs to you?" + +He was already remorseful. After all, what business of +his was it to interfere, especially when he knew that +she attached such absurd importance to his opinion? "I +hardly know," he said, "but there must be something; I +am convinced that there is something." + +Elfrida put her elbows on a tittle table, and shadowed +her face with her hands. + +"I wish I could understand," she said, "why I should be +so willing to--to go on at any sacrifice, if there is no +hope in the end." + +Kendal's mood of grim frankness overcame him again. "I +believe I know," he said, watching her. Her hands dropped +from her face, and she turned it toward him mutely. + +"It is not achievement you want, but success. That is +why," said he. + +There was silence for a moment, broken by light footsteps +on the stair and a knock. "My good friends," cried +Mademoiselle Palicsky from the doorway, "have you been +quarrelling?" She made a little dramatic gesture to match +her words, which brought out every line of a black velvet +and white corduroy dress, which would have been a horror +upon an Englishwoman. Upon Mademoiselle Palicsky it was +simply an admiration-point of the kind never seen out of +Paris, and its effect was instantaneous. Kendal +acknowledged it with a bow of exaggerated deference. +"_C'est parfait!_" he said with humility, and lifted a +pile of studies off the nearest chair for her. + +Nadie stood still, pouting. "Monsieur is amused," she +said. "Monsieur is always amused. But I have that to tell +which monsieur will graciously take _au grand servieux_." + +"What is it, Nadie?" Elfrida asked, with something like +dread in her voice. Nadie's air was so important, so +rejoiceful. + +"_Ecoutez donc!_ I am to send two pictures to the Salon +this year. Carolos Duran has already seen my sketch for +one, and he says there is not a doubt--_not a doubt_--that +it will be considered. Your congratulations, both of you, +or your hearts' blood! For on my word of honor I did +not expect it this year." + +"A thousand and one!" cried Kendal, trying not to see +Elfrida's face. "But if you did not expect it this year, +mademoiselle, you were the only one who had so little +knowledge of affairs," he added gaily. + +"And now," Nadie went on, as if he had interrupted her, +"I am going to drive in the Bois to see what it will be +like when the people in the best carriages turn and say, +'That is Mademoiselle Nadie Palicsky, whose picture has +just been bought for the Luxembourg.'" + +She paused and looked for a curious instant at Elfrida, +and then slipped quickly behind her chair. "_Embrasse +moi, cherie!_" she said, bringing her face with a bird-like +motion close to the other girl's. + +Kendal saw an instinctive momentary aversion in the +backward start of Elfrida's head, and from the bottom of +his heart he was sorry for her. She pushed her friend +away almost violently. + +"No!" she said. "No! I am sorry, but it is too childish. +We never kiss each other, you and I. And listen, Nadie: +I am delighted for you, but I have a sick headache--_la +migraine_, you understand. And you must go away, both of +you--both of you!" Her voice raised itself in the last +few words to an almost hysterical imperativeness. As they +went down the stairs together Mademoiselle Palicsky +remarked to Mr. John Kendal, repentant of the good that +he had done: + +"So she has consulted her oracle and it has barked out +the truth. Let us hope she will not throw herself into +the Seine!" + +"Oh no!" Kendal replied. "She's horribly hurt but I am +glad to believe that she hasn't the capacity for tragedy. +Somebody," he added gloomily, "ought to have told her +long ago." + +Half an hour later the postman brought Elfrida a letter +from Mr. Frank Parke, and a packet containing her +manuscript. It was a long letter, very kind, and +appreciative of the article, which Mr. Parke called +bright and gossipy, and, if anything, too cleverly +unconventional in tone. He did not take the trouble to +criticise it seriously, and left Elfrida under the +impression that, from his point of view at least, it had +no faults. Mr. Parke had offered the article to _Raffini_, +but while they might have printed it upon his +recommendation, it appeared that even his recommendation +could not induce them to promise to pay for it. And it +was a theory with him that what was worth printing was +invariably worth paying for, so he returned the manuscript +to its author in the sincere hope that it might yet meet +its deserts. He had been thinking over the talk they had +had together, and he saw more plainly than ever the +hopelessness of her getting a journalistic start in Paris, +however, and he would distinctly advise her to try London +instead. There were a number of ladies' papers published +in London--he regretted that he did not know the editors +of any of them--and amongst them, with her freshness of +style, she would be sure to find an opening. Mr. Parke +added the address of a lodging-house off Fleet Street, +where Elfrida would be in the thick of it, and the fact +that he was leaving Paris for three months or so, and +hoped she would write to him when he came back. It was +a letter precisely calculated to draw an unsophisticated +amateur mind away from any other mortification, to pour +balm upon any unrelated wound. Elfrida felt herself armed +by it to face a sea of troubles. Not absolutely, but +almost, she convinced herself on the spot that her solemn +choice of an art had been immature, and to some extent +groundless and unwarrantable; and she washed all her +brushes with a mechanical and melancholy sense that it +was for the last time. It was easier than she would have +dreamed for her to decide to take Frank Parke's advice +and go to London. The life of the Quartier had already +vaguely lost in charm since she knew that she must be +irredeemably a failure in the atelier, though she told +herself, with a hot tear or two, that no one loved it +better, more comprehendingly, than she did. Her impulse +was to begin packing at once; but she put that off until +the next day, and wrote two or three letters instead. +One was to John Kendal. This is the whole of it: + + "Please believe me very grateful for your frankness + this afternoon. I have been most curiously blind. But + I agree with you that there is something else, and I + am going away to find it out and to do it. When I + succeed I will let you know, but you shall not tell + me that I have failed again. + + "ELFRIDA BELL." + +The other was addressed to her mother, and when it reached +Mr. and Mrs. Bell in Sparta they said it was certainly +sympathetic and very well written. This was to disarm +one another's mind of the suspicion that its last page +was doubtfully daughterly. + + "In view of what are now your very limited resources, + I am sure dear mother, you will understand my + unwillingness to make any additional drain upon them, + as I should do if I followed your wishes and came + home. I am convinced of my ability to support myself, + and I am not coming home. To avoid giving you the pain + of repeating your request, and the possibility of your + sending me money which you cannot afford to spare, I + have decided not to let you know my whereabouts until + I can write to you that I am in an independent position. + I will only say that I am leaving Paris, and that no + letters sent to this address will be forwarded. I + sincerely hope you will not allow yourself to be in + any way anxious about me, for I assure you that there + is not the slightest need. With much love to papa and + yourself, + + "Always your affectionate daughter, + + "ELFRIDA. + + "P.S.--I hope your asthma has again succumbed + to Dr. Paley." + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +There was a scraping and a stumbling sound in the second +floor front bedroom of Mrs. Jordan's lodgings in a by-way +of Fleet Street, at two o'clock in the morning. It came +up to Elfrida mixed with the rattle of a departing cab +over the paving-stones below, outside where the fog was +lifting and showing one street-lamp to another. Elfrida +in her attic had been sitting above the fog all night; +her single candle had not been obscured by it. The cab +had been paid and the andirons were being disturbed by +Mr. Golightly Ticke, returned from the Criterion Restaurant, +where he had been supping with the leading lady of the +Sparkle Company, at the leading, lady's expense. She +could afford it better than he could, she told him, and +that was extremely true, for Mr. Ticke had his capacities +for light comedy still largely to prove, while Mademoiselle +Phyllis Fane had almost disestablished herself upon the +stage, so long and so prosperously had she pirouetted +there. Mr. Golightly Ticke's case excited a degree of +the large compassion which Mademoiselle Phyllis had for +incipient genius of the interesting sex, and which served +her instead of virtue of the more ordinary sort. He had +a doable claim upon it, because, in addition to being +tall and fair and misunderstood by most people, with a +thin nose that went beautifully with a medieval costume, +he was such a gentleman. Phyllis loosened her purse-strings +instinctively, with genuine gratification, whenever this +young man approached. She believed in him; he had ideas, +she said, and she gave him more; in the end he would be +sure to "catch on." Through the invariable period of +obscurity which comes before the appearance of any star, +she was in the habit of stating that he would have no +truer friend than Filly Fane. She "spoke to" the manager, +she pointed out Mr. Ticke's little parts to the more +intimate of her friends of the press. She sent him delicate +little presents of expensive cigars, scents, and soaps; +she told him often that he would infallibly "get there." +The fact of his having paid his own cab-fare from the +Criterion on this particular morning gave him, as he +found his way upstairs, almost an injured feeling of +independence. + +As the sounds defined themselves move distinctly, troublous +and uncertain, Elfrida laid down her pen and listened. + +"What an absurd boy it is!" she said. "He's trying to go +to bed in the fireplace." + +As a matter of fact, Mr. Ticke's stage of intoxication +was not nearly so advanced as that; but Elfrida's mood +was borrowed from her article, and she felt the necessity +of putting it graphically. Besides, a picturesque form +of stating his condition was almost due to Mr. Ticke. +Mr. Ticke lived the unfettered life; he was of the elect; +Elfrida reflected, as Mr. Ticke went impulsively to bed, +how easy it was to discover the elect. A glance would do +it, a word, the turning of an eyelid; she knew it of +Golightly Ticke days before he came up in an old velvet +coat, and without a shirt collar, to borrow a sheet of +note paper and an envelope from her. On that occasion +Mr. Ticke had half apologized for his appearance, saying, +"I'm afraid I'm rather a Bohemian," in his sympathetic +voice. To which Elfrida had responded, hanging him the +note paper, "Afraid!" and the understanding was established +at once. Elfrida did not consider Mr. Ticke's other +qualifications or disqualifications; that would have been +a bourgeois thing to do. He was a _belle dame_, that was +sufficient. He might find life difficult, it was natural +and probable. She, Elfrida Bell, found it difficult. He +had not succeeded yet; neither had she; therefore they +had a comradeship--they and a few others--of revolt +against the dull conventional British public that barred +the way to success. Yesterday she had met him at the +street-door, and he had stopped to remark that along the +Embankment nature was making a bad copy of one of +Vereschagin's pictures. When people could say things like +that, nothing else mattered much. It is impossible to +tell whether Miss Bell would have found room in this +philosophy for the godmotherly benevolence of Mademoiselle +Fane, if she had known of it, or not. + +It was a long, low-roofed room in which Elfrida Bell +meditated, biting the end of her pen, upon the difference +it made when a fellow-being was not a Philistine; and it +was not in the least like any other apartment Mrs. Jordan +had to let. It was the atelier of the Rue Porte Royale +transported. Elfrida had brought all her possessions with +her, and took a nameless comfort in arranging them as +she liked them best. "Try to feel at home," she said +whimsically to her Indian zither as she hung it up. "We +shall miss Paris, you and I, but one day we shall go back +together." A Japanese screen wandered across the room +and made a bedroom of the end. Elfrida had to buy that, +and spent a day in finding a cheap one which did not +offend her. The floor was bare except for a little Afghan +prayer-carpet, Mrs. Jordan having removed, in suspicions +astonishment, an almost new tapestry of as nice a pattern +as she ever set eyes on, at her lodger's request. A +samovar stood on a little square table in the corner, +and beside it a tin box of biscuits. The dormer-windows +were hung with Eastern stuffs, a Roman lamp stood on the +mantel, a Koran-holder held Omar Khayyam second-hand, +and Meredith's last novel, and "Anna Karenina," and +"Salammbo," and two or three recent numbers of the +_Figaro_. Here and there on the wall a Salon photograph +was fastened. A study of a girl's head that Nadie had +given her was stuck with a Spanish dagger over the +fireplace. A sketch of Vambety's and one of Kendal's, +sacredly framed, hung where she could always see them. +There was a vague suggestion of roses about the room, +and a mingled fragrance of joss-sticks and cigarettes. +The candle shone principally upon a little bronze Buddha, +who sat lotus-shrined on the writing-table among Elfrida's +papers, with an ineffable, inscrutable smile. On the top +shelf of a closet in the wall a small pile of canvases +gathered dust, face downward. Not a brush-mark of her +own was visible. She told herself that she had done with +that. + +The girl sat with her long cloak about her and a blanket +over her knees. Her fingers were almost nerveless with +cold; as she laid down her manuscript she tried to wring +warmth into them. Her face was white, her eyes were +intensely wide open and wide awake; they had black dashes +underneath, an emphasis they did not need. She lay back +in her chair and gave the manuscript a little push toward +Buddha smiling in the middle of the table. "Well?" she +said, regarding him with defiant inquiry, cleverly mocked. + +Buddha smiled on. The candle spattered, and his shadow +danced on three or four long thick envelopes lying behind +him. Elrida's eyes followed it. + +"Oh!" said she, "you refer me to those, do you? _Ce n'est +pas poli_, Buddha dear, but you are always honest, aren't +you?" She picked op the envelopes and held them fanwise +before her. "Tell me, Buddha, why have they all been sent +back? I myself read them with interest, I who wrote them, +and surely that proves something!" She pulled a page or +two out of one of them, covered with her clear, conscious, +handwriting, a handwriting with a dainty pose in it +suggestive of inscrutable things behind the word. Elfrida +looked at it affectionately, her eyes caressed the lines +as she read them. "I find here true things and clever +things," she went on; "Yes, and original, _quite_ original +things. That about Balzac has never been said before--I +assure you, Buddha, it has never been said before! Yet +the editor of the _Athenian_ returns it to me in two days +with a printed form of thanks--exactly the same printed +form of thanks with which he would return a poem by +Arabella Jones! Is the editor of the _Athenian_ a dolt, +Buddha? The _Decade_ typewrites his regrets--that's +better--but the _Bystander_ says nothing at all but +'Declined with thanks' inside the flap of the envelope." +The girl stared absently into the candle. She was not in +reality greatly discouraged by these refusals: she knew +that they were to be expected: indeed, they formed part +of the picturesqueness of the situation in which she saw +herself, alone in London, making her own fight for life +as she found it worth living, by herself, for herself, +in herself. It had gone on for six weeks; she thought +she knew all its bitterness, and she saw nowhere the +faintest gleam of coming success; yet the idea of giving +it up did not even occur to her. At this moment she was +reflecting that after all it was something that her +articles had been returned--the editors had evidently +thought them worth that much trouble--she would send them +an off again in the morning, trying; the _Athenian_ +article with the _Decade_, and the rejected of the _Decade_ +with the _Bystander_: they would see that she did not +cringe before one failure or many. Gathering up the loose +pages of one article to put them back, her eyes ran +mechanically again over its opening sentences. Suddenly +something magnetized them, a new interest flashed into +them; with a little nervous movement she brought the page +closer to the candle and looked at it carefully. As she +looked she blushed crimson, and dropping the paper, +covered her face with her hands. + +"Oh, _Buddha!_" she cried softly, struggling with her +mortification, "no wonder they rejected it! There's a +mistake in the very second line--a mistake in _spelling!_" +She felt her face grow hotter as she said it, and +instinctively she lowered her voice. Her vanity was +pricked as with a sword; for a moment she suffered keenly. +Her fabric of hope underwent a horrible collapse; the +blow was at its very foundation. While the minute hand +of her mother's old-fashioned gold watch travelled to +its next point, or for nearly as long as that, Elfrida +was under the impression that a person who spelled +"artificially" with one _L_ could never succeed in +literature. She believed she had counted the possibilities +of failure. She had thought of style, she had thought of +sense--she had never thought of spelling! She began with +a penknife to make the word right, and almost fearfully +let herself read the first few fines. "There are no more!" +she said to herself, with a sigh of relief. Turning the +page, she read on, and the irritation began to fade out +of her face. She turned the next page and the next, and +her eyes grew interested, absorbed, enthusiastic. There +were some more, one or two, but she did not see them. +Her house of hope built itself again. "A mere slip," she +said, reassured; and then, as her eye fell on a little +fat dictionary that held down a pile of papers, "But I'll +go over them all in the morning, to make sore, with +_that_." + +Then she turned with new pleasure to the finished work +of the night, settled the sheets together, put them in +an envelope, and addressed it: + + _The Editor,_ + _The Consul,_ + _6 Tibby's Lane,_ + _Fleet Street, E. C._ + +She hesitated before she wrote. Should she write "The +Editor" only, or "George Alfred Curtis, Esq.," first, +which would attract his attention, perhaps, as coming +from somebody who knew his name. She had a right to know +his name, she told herself; she had met him once in the +happy Paris days. Kendal bad introduced him to her, in +a brief encounter at the Salon, and she remembered the +appreciativeness of the glance that accompanied the stout +middle-aged English gentleman's bow. Kendal had told +her then that Mr. Curtis was the editor of the _Consul_. +Yes, she had a right to know his name. And it might make +the faintest shadow of a difference--but no, "The Editor" +was more dignified, more impersonal; her article should +go in upon its own merits, absolutely upon its own merits; +and so she wrote. + +It was nearly three o'clock, and cold, shivering cold. +Mr. Golightly Ticke had wholly subsided. The fog had +climbed up to her, and the candle showed it clinging to +the corners of the room. The water in the samovar was +hissing. Elfrida warmed her hands upon the cylinder and +made herself some tea. With it she disposed of a great +many sweet biscuits from the biscuit box, and thereafter +lighted a cigarette. As she smoked she re-read an old +letter, a long letter in a flowing foreign hand, written +from among the haymakers at Barbizon, that exhaled a +delicate perfume. Elfrida had read it thrice for comfort +in the afternoon; now she tasted it, sipping here and +there with long enjoyment of its deliciousness. She kissed +it as she folded it up, with the silent thought that this +was the breath of her life, and soon--oh, passably +soon--she could bear the genius in Nadie's eyes again. + +Then she went to bed. "You little brute," she said to +Buddha, who still smiled as she blew out the candle, +"can't you forget it?" + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Miss Bell arose late the next morning, which was not +unusual. Mrs. Jordan had knocked three times vainly, and +then left the young lady's chop and coffee outside the +door on the landing. If she _would_ 'ave it cold, Mrs. +Jordan reasoned, she would, and more warnin' than knockin' +three times no livin' bean could expect Mrs. Jordan went +downstairs uneasy in her mind, however. The matter of +Miss Bell's breakfast generally left her uneasy in her +mind. It was not in reason, Mrs. Jordan thought, that a +young littery lady should keep that close, for Elfrida's +custom of having her breakfast deposited outside her door +was as invariable as it was perplexing. Miss Bell was as +charming to her land-lady as she was to everybody else, +but Mrs. Jordan found a polite pleasantness that permitted +no opportunity for expansion whatever more stimulating +to the curiosity and irritating to the mind generally +than the worst of bad manners would have been. That was +the reason she knocked three times when she brought up +Miss Bell's breakfast. At Mr. Ticke's door she wrapped +once, and cursorily at that. Mr. Ticke was as conversational +as you please on all occasions, and besides, Mr. Ticke's +door was usually half open. The shroud of mystery in +which Mrs. Jordan wrapped her "third floor front" grew +more impenetrable as the days went by. Her original +theory, which established Elfrida as the heroine of the +latest notorious divorce case, was admirably ingenious, +but collapsed in a fortnight with its own weight. "Besides," +Mrs. Jordan reasoned, "if it 'ad been that person, ware +is the corrispondent all this time? There's been nothin' +in the shape of a corrispondent hangin' round _this_ +house, for I've kep' my eye open for one. I give 'er up," +said Mrs. Jordan darkly, "that's wot I do, an' I only +'ope I won't find 'er suicided on charcoal some mornin' +like that pore young poetiss in yesterday's paper." + +Another knock, half an hour later, found Elfrida finishing +her coffee. Out-of-doors the world was gray, the little +square windows were beaten with rain. Inside the dreariness +was redeemed to the extent of a breath, a suggestion. An +essence came out of the pictures and the trappings, and +blended itself with the lingering fragrance of the +joss-sticks and the roses and the cigarettes in a delightful +manner. The room was almost warm with it. It seemed to +centre in Elfrida; as she sat beside the writing-table, +whose tumultuous papers had been pushed away to make room +for the breakfast dishes, she was instinct with it. + +Miss Bell glanced hurriedly around the room. It was +unimpeachable--not so much as a strayed collar interfered +with its character as an apartment where a young lady +might receive. "Come in," she said. She knew the knock. + +The door opened slowly to a hesitating push, and disclosed +Mr. Golightly Ticke by degrees. Mr. Ticke was accustomed +to boudoirs less rigid in their exclusiveness, and always +handled Miss Bell's door with a certain amount of +embarrassment. If she wanted a chance to whisk anything +out of the way he would give her that chance. Fully in +view of the lady and the coffee-pot Mr. Ticke made a +stage bow. "Here is my apology," he said, holding out a +letter; "I found it in the box as I came in." + +It was another long thick envelope, and in its upper left +hand corner was printed, in early English lettering, _The +St. George's Gazette_. Elfrida took it with the faintest +perceptible change of countenance. It was another +discomfiture, but it did not prevent her from opening +her dark eyes with a remote effect of pathos entirely +disconnected with its reception. "And you climbed all +these flights to give it to me!" she said, with gravely +smiling plaintiveness. "Thank you. Why should you have +been so good? Please, please sit down." + +Mr. Ticke looked at her expressively. "I don't know, Miss +Bell, really. I don't usually take much trouble for +people. I say it without shame. Most people are not worth +it. You don't mind my saying that you're an exception, +though. Besides, I'm afraid I had my eye on my reward." + +"You're reward!" Elfrida repeated. Her smiling comprehension +insisted that it did not understand. + +"The pleasure of saying good-morning to you. But that +is an inanity, Miss Bell, and unworthy of me. I should +have left you to divine it." + +"How could I divine an inanity in connection with you?" +she answered, and her eyes underlined her words. When he +returned, "Oh, you always parry!" she felt a little thrill +of pleasure with herself. "How did it go--last night?" +she asked. + +"Altogether lovely. Standing room only, and the boxes +taken for a week. I find myself quite adorable in my +little part now. I _feel_ it, you know. I am James Jones, +a solicitor's clerk, to my fingers' ends. My nature +changes, my environment changes, the instant I go on. +But a little thing upsets me. Last night I had to smoke +a cigar--the swell of the piece gives me a cigar--and he +gave me a poor one. It wasn't in tone--the unities +required that he should give me a good cigar. See? I felt +quite confused for the moment." + +Elfrida's eyes had strayed to the corner of her letter. +"If you want to read that," continued Mr. Ticke, "I know +you won't mind me." + +"Thanks," said Elfrida calmly. "I've read it already. +It's a rejected article." + +"My play came back again yesterday for the thirteenth +time. The fellow didn't even look at it. I know, because +I stuck the second and third pages together as if by +accident, and when it came back they were still stuck. +And yet these men pretend to be on the lookout for original +work! It's a thrice beastly world, Miss Bell." + +Elfrida widened her eyes again and smiled with a vague +impersonal winningness. "I suppose one ought not to care," +said she, "but there is the vulgar necessity of living." + +"Yes," agreed Mr. Ticke; and then sardonically: "Waterloo +Bridge at ebb tide is such a nasty alternative. I could +never get over the idea of the drainage." + +"Oh, I know a better way than that." She chose her words +deliberately. "A much better way. I keep it here," holding +up the bent little finger of her left hand. It had a +clumsy silver ring on it, square and thick in the middle, +bearing deep-cut Sanskrit letters. "It is a dear little +alternative," she went on, "like a bit of brown sugar. +Rather a nice taste, I believe,--and no pain. When I am +quite tired of it all I shall use this, I think. My idea is +that it's weak to wait until you can't help it. Besides, I +could never bear to become--less attractive than I am now." + +"Poison!" said Mr. Golightly Ticke, with an involuntarily +horrified face. Elfrida's hand was hanging over the edge +of the table, and he made as if he would examine the ring +without the formality of asking leave. + +She drew her fingers away instantly. "In the vernacular," +she answered coolly. "You may not touch it." + +"I beg your pardon. But how awfully chic!" + +"It _is_ chic, isn't it? Not so very old, you know." +Elfrida raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips a little. +"It came from Persia. They still do things like that in +those delightful countries. And I've had it tested. +There's enough to--satisfy--three people. When you are +quite sure you want it I don't mind sharing with you. If +you are going out, Mr. Ticke, will you post this for me? +It's a thing about American social ideals, and I'm trying +the _Consul_ with it." + +"Delighted. But if I know the editor of the _Consul_, it +won't get two minutes' consideration." + +"No?" + +"Being the work of a lady, no. Doesn't matter how good +it is. The thing to know about the _Consul_ man is this. +He's very nice to ladies--can't resist ladies; consequence +is, the paper's half full of ladies' copy every week. I +know, because a cousin of mine writes for him, and most +unsympathetic stuff it is. Yet it always goes in, and +she gets her three guineas a week as regularly as the +day comes. But her pull is that she knows him personally, +and she's a damned pretty woman." + +Elfrida followed him with interest. "Is she as pretty as +I am?" she asked, purely for information. + +"Lord, no!" Mr. Ticke responded warmly. "Besides, you've +got style, and distinction, and ideas. Any editor would +appreciate your points, once you saw him. But you've got +to see him first. My candid advice is _take_ this to the +_Consul_ office." + +Elfrida looked at him in a way which baffled him to +understand. "I don't think I can do that," she said +slowly; and then added, "I don't know." + +"Well," he said, "I'll enter my protest against the +foolishness of doing it this way by refusing to post the +letter." Mr. Ticke was tremendously in earnest, and threw +it dramatically upon the table. "You may be a George +Eliot or a--an Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but in these +days you want every advantage, Miss Bell, and women who +succeed understand that." + +Elfrida's face was still enigmatic, so enigmatic that +Mr. Ticke felt reluctantly constrained to stop. "I must +pursue the even tenor of my way," he said airily, looking +at his watch. "I've an engagement to lunch at one. _Don't_ +ask me to post that article, Miss Bell. And by the way," +as he turned to go, "I haven't a smoke about me. Could +you give me a cigarette?" + +"Oh yes," said Elfrida, without looking at him, "as many +as you like," and she pushed an open box toward him; but +she had an absent, considering air that did not imply +any idea of what she was doing. + +"Thanks, only one. Or perhaps two--there now, two! How +good these little Hafiz fellows are! Thanks awfully. +Good-bye!" + +"Good-bye," said Elfrida, with her eyes on the packet +addressed to the editor of the _Consul_; and Mr. Golightly +Ticke tripped downstairs. She had not looked at him again. + +She sat thinking, thinking. She applied herself first to +stimulate the revolt that rose within her against Golightly +Ticke's advice--his intolerably, no, his forgetfully +presumptuous advice. She would be just to him: he talked +so often to women with whom such words would carry weight, +for an instant he might fail to recognize that she was +not one of those. It was absurd to be angry, and not at +all in accordance with any theory of life that operated +in Paris. Instinctively, at the thought of a moral +indignation upon such slender grounds in Paris she gave +herself the benefit of a thoroughly expressive Parisian +shrug. And how they understood, success in Paris! Beasts! + +And yet it was all in the game. It was a matter of skill, +of superiority, of puppet-playing. One need not soil +one's hands--in private one could always laugh. She +remembered how Nadie had laughed when three bunches of +roses from three different art critics had come in +together--how inextinguishably Nadie had laughed. It was +in itself a, success of a kind. Nadie had no scruples, +except about her work. She went straight to her end, +believing it to be an end worth arriving at by any means. +And now Nadie would presently be _tres en vue--tres en +vue!_ After all, it was a much finer thing to be scrupulous +about one's work--that was the real morality, the real +life. Elfrida closed her eyes and felt a little shudder +of consciousness of how real it was. When she opened +them again she was putting down her protest with a strong +hand, crushing her rebellious instincts unmercifully. +She did not allow herself a moment's self-deception. She +did not insult her intelligence by the argument that it +was a perfectly harmless and proper thing to offer a +piece of work to an editor in person--that everybody did +it--that she might thereby obtain some idea of what +would suit his paper if her article did not. She was +perfectly straightforward in confronting Golightly Ticke's +idea, and she even disrobed it, to her own consciousness, +of any garment of custom and conventionality it might +have had to his. Another woman might have taken it up +and followed it without an instant's hesitation, as a +matter concerning which there could be no doubt, a matter +of ordinary expediency--of course a man would be nicer +to a woman than to another man; they always were; it was +natural. But Elfrida, with her merciless insight, had to +harden her heart and ply her self-respect with assurances +that it was all in the game, and it was a superb thing +to be playing the game. Deliberately she chose the things +she looked best in, and went out. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +The weather had cleared to a compromise. The dome of St. +Paul's swelled dimly out of the fog as Elfrida turned +into Fleet Street, and the railway bridge that hangs over +the heads of the people at the bottom of Ludgate Hill +seemed a curiously solid structure connecting space with +space. Fleet Street, wet and brown, and standing in all +unremembered fashions, lifted its antiquated head and +waited for more rain; the pavements glistened briefly, +till the tracking heels of the crowd gave them back their +squalor; and there was everywhere that newness of turmoil +that seems to burst even in the turbulent streets of the +City when it stops raining. The girl made her way toward +Charing Cross with the westward-going crowd. It went with +a steady, respectable jog-trot, very careful of its skirts +and umbrellas and the bottoms of its trousers; she took +pleasure in hastening past it with her light gait. She +would walk to the _Consul_ office, which was in the +vicinity of the Haymarket; indeed, she must, for the sake +of economy. "I ought really to be _very_ careful," thought +Elfrida. "I've only eight sovereigns left, and I can't +--oh, I _can't_ ask them for any more at home." So she +went swiftly on, pausing once before a picture-dealer's +in the Strand to make a mocking mouth at the particularly +British quality of the art which formed the day's exhibit, +and once to glance at a news-stand where two women of +the street, one still young and pretty, the other old +and foul, were buying the _Police Gazette_ from a +stolid-faced boy. "What a subject for Nadie," she said +to herself, smiling, and hurried on. Twenty yards further +a carter's horse lay dying with its head upon the pavement. +She made an impulsive detour of nearly half a mile to +avoid passing the place, and her thoughts recurred +painfully to the animal half a dozen times. The rain +came down again before she reached the _Consul_ office; +a policeman misinformed her, she had a difficulty in +finding it. She arrived at last, with damp skirts and +muddy boots. It had been a long walk, and the article +upon American social ideals was limp and spotted. A door +confronted her, flush with the street. She opened it. +and found herself at the bottom of a flight of stairs, +steep, dark, and silent. She hesitated a moment, and then +went up. At the top another closed door met her, with +_The Consul_ painted in black letters on the part of it +that consisted of ground glass somewhat the worse for +pencil-points and finger-nails. Elfrida lifted her hand +to knock, then changed her mind and opened the door. + +It was a small room lined on two sides with deal +compartments bulging with dusty papers. There were two +or three shelves of uninteresting-looking books, and a +desk which extended into a counter. The upper panes of +the window were ragged with cobwebs, and the air of the +place was redolent of stale publications. A thick-set +little man in spectacles sat at the desk. It was not Mr. +Curtis. + +The thick-set man rose as Elfrida entered, and came +forward a dubious step or two. His expression was not +encouraging. + +"I have called to see the editor, Mr. Curtis," said she. + +"The editor is not here." + +"Oh, isn't he? I'm sorry for that. When is he likely to +be in? I want to see him particularly." + +"He only comes here once a week, for about an hour," +replied the little man, reluctant even to say so much. +"But I could see that he got a letter." + +"Thanks," returned Elfrida. "At what time and on what +day does he usually come?" + +"That I'm not at liberty to say," the occupant of the +desk replied briefly, and sat down again. + +"Where _is_ Mr. Curtis?" Elfrida asked. She had not +counted upon this. To the physical depression of her walk +there added itself a strong disgust with the unsuccessful +situation. She persisted, knowing what she would have to +suffer from herself if she failed. + +"Mr. Curtis is in the country. I cannot possibly give +you his address. You can write to him here, and the letter +will be forwarded. But he only sees people by +appointment--especially ladies," the little man added, +with a half-smile which had more significance in it than +Elfrida could bear. Her face set itself against the anger +that burned up in her, and she walked quickly from the +door to the desk, her wet skirts swishing with her steps. +She looked straight at the man, and began to speak in a +voice of constraint and authority. + +"You will be kind enough to get up," she said, "and listen +to what I have to say." The man got up instantly. + +"I came here," she went on, "to offer your editor an +article--this article;" she drew out the manuscript and +laid it before him. "I thought from the character of the +contributions to last week's number of the _Consul_ that +he might very well be glad of it." + +Her tone reduced the man to silence. Mechanically he +picked up the manuscript and fingered the leaves. + +"Read the first few sentences, please," said Elfrida. + +"I've nothing to do with that department, miss--" + +"I have no intention whatever of leaving it with you. +But I shall be obliged if you will read the first few +sentences." He read them, the girl standing watching him. + +"Now," said she, "do you understand?" She took the pages +from his hand and returned them to the envelope. + +"Yes, miss--it's certainly interesting, but--" + +"Be quite sure you understand," said Elfrida, as the +ground-glass door closed behind her. + +Before she reached the foot of the staircase she was in +a passion of tears. She leaned, against the wall in the +half darkness of the passage, shaking with sobs, raging +with anger and pity, struggling against her own contempt. +Gradually she gained a hold upon herself, and as she +dried her eyes finally she lost all feeling but a heavy +sense of failure. She sat down faintly on the lowest +step, remembering that she had eaten nothing since +breakfast, and fanned her flushed face with the sheets +of her manuscript. She preferred that even the unregarding +London streets should not see the traces of her distress. +She was still sitting there, ten minutes later, when the +door opened and threw the gray light from outside over +her. She had found her feet before Mr. Curtis had fairly +seen her. He paused, astonished, with his gloved hand +upon the knob. The girl seemed to have started out of +the shadows, and the emotion of her face dramatized its +beauty. She made a step toward the door. + +"Can I do anything for you?" asked the editor of the +_Consul_, taking off his, hat. + +"Nothing, thank you," Elfrida replied, looking beyond +him. "Unless you will kindly allow me to pass." + +It was still raining doggedly, as it does in the the late +afternoon. Elfrida thought with a superlative pang of +discomfort of the three or four blocks that lay between +her and the nearest bake-shop. She put up her umbrella, +gathered her skirts up behind, and started wearily for +the Haymarket. She had never in her life felt so tired. +Suddenly a thrill of consciousness went up from her left +hand--the hand that held her skirts--such a thrill as +is known only to the sex that wills to have its pocket +there. She made one or two convulsive confirmatory clutches +at it from the outside, then, with a throe of actual +despair, she thrust her hand into her pocket. It was a +crushing fact, her purse was gone--her purse that held +the possibilities of her journalistic future molten and +stamped in eight golden sovereigns--her purse! + +Elfrida cast one hopeless look at the pavement behind +her before she allowed herself to realize the situation. +Then she faced it, addressing a dainty French oath to +the necessity. "Come," she said to herself, "now it +begins to be really amusing--_la vraie comedie_." She +saw herself in the part--it was an artistic pleasure--alone, +in a city of melodrama, without a penny, only her brains. +Besides, the sense of extremity pushed and concentrated +her; she walked on with new energy and purpose. As she +turned into the Haymarket a cab drew up almost in front +of her. Through its rain-beaten glass front she recognized +a face--Kendal's. His head was thrown back to speak to +the driver through the roof. In the instant of her glance +Elfrida saw that he wore a bunch of violets in his +button-hole, and that he was looking splendidly well. +Then, with a smile that recognized the dramatic value of +his appearance at the moment, she lowered her umbrella +and passed on, unseen. + +Almost gaily she walked into a pawnbroker's shop, and +obtained with perfect nonchalance five pounds upon her +mother's watch. She had no idea that she ought to dispute +the dictum of the bald young man with the fishy eyes and +the high collar. It did not occur to her that she was +paid too little. What she realized was that she had wanted +to pawn something all her life--it was a deliciously +effective extremity. She reserved her rings with the +distinct purpose of having the experience again. Then +she made a substantial lunch at a rather expensive +restaurant. "It isn't time yet," she thought, "for crusts +and dripping," and tipped the waiter a shilling, telling +him to get her a cab. As she turned into the Strand she +told the cabman to drive slowly, and made him stop at +the first newspaper office she saw. As she alighted a +sense of her extravagance dawned upon her, and she paid +the man off. Then she made a resolutely charming ascent +to the editorial rooms of the _Illustrated Age_. + +Twenty minutes later she came down again, and the door +was opened for her by Mr. Arthur Rattray, one of the +sub-editors, a young man who had already distinguished +himself on the staff of the _Age_ by his intelligent +perception of paying matter, and his enterprise in securing +it. Elfrida continued to carry her opinions upon the +social ideals of her native democracy in their much +stained envelope, but there was a light in her eyes which +seemed to be the reflection of success. + +"It's still raining," said the young man cheerfully. + +"So it is," Elfrida responded. "And--oh, how atrocious +of me!--I've left my umbrella in the cab!" + +"Hard luck!" exclaimed Mr. Rattray; "an umbrella is an +organic part of one in London. Shall I stop this 'bus?" + +"Thanks, no. I'll walk, I think. It's only a little way. +I shan't get wet. Good-afternoon!" Elfrida nodded to him +brightly and hurried off; but it could not have occasioned +her surprise to find Mr. Rattray beside her a moment +later with a careful and attentive umbrella, and the +intention of being allowed to accompany her that little +way. By the time they arrived Mr. Rattray had pledged +himself to visit Scotland Yard next day in search of a +dark brown silk _en tout cas_ with a handle in the +similitude of an ivory mummy. + +"Are these your diggings?" he asked, as they reached the +house. "Why, Ticke lives here too--the gentle Golightly--do +you know him?" Elfrida acknowledged her acquaintance with +Mr. Ticke, and Mr. Rattray hastened to deprecate her +thanks for his escort. "Remember," he said, "no theories, +no fine writing, no compositions. Describe what you've +seen and know, and give it a tang, an individuality. +And so far as we are concerned, I think we could use that +thing you proposed about the Latin Quarter, with plenty +of anecdote, very well. But you must make it short." + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +Kendal mounted to Elfrida's _appartement_ in the Rue +Porte Royale to verify the intimation of her departure, +or happily to forestall its execution the morning after +her note reached him. He found it bare and dusty. A +workman was mending the stove; the concierge stood looking +on, with her arms folded above the most striking feature +of her personality. Every vestige of Elfrida was gone, +and the tall windows were open, letting the raw February +air blow through. Outside the sunlight lay in squares +and triangles on the roofs, and gave the place its +finishing touch of characterlessness. Yes, truly, +mademoiselle had gone, the evening before. Was monsieur +then not aware? The concierge was of opinion that +mademoiselle had had bad news, but her tone implied that +no news could be quite bad enough to justify the throwing +up of such desirable apartments upon such short notice. +Mademoiselle had left in such haste that she had forgotten +both to say where she was going and to leave an address +for letters; and it would not be easy to surpass the +consciousness of injury with which the concierge demanded +what she was to say to the _facteur_ on the day of the +post from America, when there were always four or five +letters for mademoiselle. Monsieur would be _bien amiable_, +if he would allow that they should be directed to him. +Upon reflection monsieur declined this responsibility. +With the faintest ripple of resentment at being left out +of Elfrida's confidence, he stated to himself that it +would be intrusive. He advised the concierge to keep them +for a week or two, during which Miss Bell would be sure +to remember to send for them, and turned to go. + +"_Mademoiselle est allee a la Gare du Nord_," added the +concierge, entirely aware that she was contributing a +fact to Kendal's mental speculation, and wishing it had +a greater intrinsic value. But Kendal merely raised his +eyebrows in polite acknowledgment of unimportant +information. "En effet!" he said, and went away. +Nevertheless he could not help reflecting that _Gare du +Nord_ probably meant Calais, and Calais doubtless meant +England, probably London. As he thought of it he assured +himself that it was London, and his irritation vanished +at the thought of the futility of Elfrida in London. It +gave him a half curious, half solicitous amusement instead. +He pictured her with her Hungarian peasant's cloak and +any one of her fantastic hats in the conventional highways +he knew so well, and smiled. "She will have to take +herself differently there," he reflected, without pausing +to consider exactly what he meant by it, "and she'll find +that a bore." As yet he himself had never taken her +differently so far as he was aware, and in spite of the +obvious provocation of her behavior it did not occur to +him to do it now. He reflected with a shade of satisfaction +that she knew his London address. When she saw quite fit +she would doubtless inform him as to what she was doing +and where she might be found. He smiled again at the +thought of the considerations which Elfrida would put +into the balance against the pleasure of seeing him. They +were not humiliating; he was content to swing high on +the other side indefinitely; but he admitted to himself +that she had taken a pleasure out of Paris for him, and +went back to his studio missing it. He went on missing +it for quite two days, at the end of which he received +an impetuous visit--excessively impetuous considering +the delay--from Nadie Palicsky. In its course Mademoiselle +Palicsky declared herself robbed and wronged by "_cette +incomprise d'Americaine_," whom she loved--but _loved_, +did he understand? No, it was not probable that he +understood--what did a man know of love? As much perhaps +as that flame--Kendal permitted himself the luxury of an +open fire. Nadie stared into it for a moment with cynical +eyes. Under the indirect influence of Kendal's regard +they softened. + +"She always understood. It was a joy to show her anything. +She interpreted Bastien Lepage better than I--indeed that +is true--but only with her soul, she had no hands. Yes, +I loved her, and she was good for me. I drew three breaths +in her presence for one in her absence. And she has taken +herself away; even in her letter--I had a line too--she +was as remote as a star! I hope," continued Nadie, with +innocent candor, as she swung her little feet on the +corner of Kendal's table, "that you do not love her too. +I say prayers to _le bon Dieu_, about it. I burn candles." + +"And why?" Kendal asked, with a vigorous twist of his +palette knife. + +"Because you are such a beast," she responded calmly, +watching his work with her round cleft chin in the shell +of her hand. "That's not bad, you know. That nearest girl +sitting on the grass is almost felt. But if you show it +to the English they will be so shocked that they will +use lorgnettes to hide their confusion. Ah!" she said, +jumping down, "here am I wasting myself upon you, with +a carriage _a l'heure!_ You are not worth it," and she +went. After that it seemed to Kendal that he did not miss +Elfrida so much. Certainly it never occurred to him to +hasten his departure by a day on her account, and there +came a morning when he drove through Bloomsbury and +realized that he had not thought about her for a fortnight. +The British Museum suggested her to him there--the British +Museum, and the certainty that within its massive walls +a number of unimaginative young women in collarless +sage-green gowns were copying casts of antique sculptures +at that moment. But he did not allow himself to suppose +that she could possibly be among them. + +He sniffed London all day with a home-returning satisfaction +in her solidity and her ugliness and her low-toned fogs +and her great throbbing unostentatious importance, which +the more flippant capital seemed to have intensified in +him. He ordered the most British luncheon he could think +of, and reflected upon the superiority of the beer. He +read the leaders in the _Standard_ through to the bitter +end, and congratulated himself and the newspaper that +there was no rag of an absurd _feuilleton_ to distract +his attention from the importance of the news of the day. +He remembered all sorts of acquaintances that Paris had +foamed over for months; his heart warmed to a certain +whimsical old couple who lived in Park Street and went +out to walk every morning after breakfast with their +poodle. He felt disposed to make a formal call upon them +and inquire after the poodle. It was--perhaps with an +unconscious desire to make rather more of the idyl of +his homecoming that he went to see the Cardiffs instead, +who were his very old friends, and lived in Kensington +Square. + +As he turned out of Kensington High Street into a shoppy +little thoroughfare, and through it to this quiet, +neglected high-nosed old locality, he realized with an +added satisfaction that he had come back to Thackeray's +London. One was apt, he reflected, with a charity which +he would not have allowed himself always, to undervalue +Thackeray in these days. After all, he once expressed +London so well that now London expressed him, and that +was something. + +Kendal found the Cardiffs--there were only two, Janet +and her father--at tea, and the Halifaxes there, four +people he could always count on to be glad to see him. +It was written candidly in Janet's face--she was a natural +creature--as she asked him how he dared to be so unexpected. +Lady Halifax cried out robustly from the sofa to know +how many pictures he had brought back; and Miss Halifax, +full of the timid enthusiasm of the well-brought-up +elderly English girl, gave him a sallow but agreeable +regard from under her ineffective black lace hat, and +said what a surprise it was. When they had all finished, +Lawrence Cardiff took his elbow off the mantelpiece, +changed his cup into his other hand to shake hands, and +said, with his quiet, clean-shaven smile, "So you're +back!" + +"Daddy has been hoping you would be here soon," said Miss +Cardiff. "He wants the support of your presence. He's +been daring to enumerate 'Our Minor Artists' in the _Brown +Quarterly_, and his position is perfectly terrible. +Already he's had forty-one letters from friends, relatives, +and picture-dealers suggesting names he has 'doubtless +forgotten.' Poor daddy says he never knew them." + +"Has he mentioned me?" asked Kendal, sitting down squarely +with his cup of tea. + +"He has not." + +"Then it's in the character of the uncomplaining left-over +that I'm wanted, the modest person who waits until he's +better. I refuse to act. I'll go over to the howling +majority." + +"_You_ will never be a minor artist, Mr. Kendal," ventured +Miss Halifax. + +"Certainly not. You will rise to greatness at a bound," +said Lady Halifax, with substantial conviction and an +illustrative wave of a fat well-gloved hand with a +doubled-up fragment of bread and butter between the thumb +and forefinger, "or we shall be much disappointed in +you." + +"It's rapidly becoming a delicate compliment to have been +left out," Mr. Cardiff remarked, with melancholy. + +"Some of those you've honored with your recognition are +the maddest of all, aren't they, daddy, as we say in +America! Dear old thing, you _are_ in a perilous case, +and who is to take you round at the Private Views this +year--that's the question of the hour! You needn't depend +upon me. There won't be a soul on the line that you +haven't either put in or left out!" + +"It was a fearful thing to write about," Kendal responded +comfortably. "He deserves all the consequences. Let him +go round alone." Under the surface of his thoughts was +a pleased recognition of how little a fresh-colored +English girl changes in three years. Looking at Miss +Halifax's hat, it occurred to him that it was an agreeable +thing not to be eternally "struck" by the apparel of +women--so forcibly that he almost said it. "What have +you been doing?" he asked Janet. + +"Wonders," Lady Halifax responded for her. "I can't +think where she gets the energy or the brains--" + +"Can't you?" her father interrupted. "Upon my word!" Mr. +Cardiff had the serious facial muscles of a comedian, +and the rigid discipline he was compelled to give them +as a professor of Oriental tongues of London University +intensified their effect when it was absurd. The rest +laughed, and his cousin went on to say that she wished +_she_ had the gift. Her daughter echoed her, looking at +Janet in a way that meant she would say it, whatever the +consequences might be. + +"I must see something," said Kendal, "immediately." + +"_See_ something!" exclaimed Lady Halifax. "Well, look +in the last number of the _London Magazine_. But you'll +please show something first." + +"Yes, indeed!" Miss Halifax echoed. + +"When will you be ready for inspection?" Mr. Cardiff +asked. + +"Come on Thursday, all of you. I'll show you what there +is." + +"Will you give us our tea?" Miss Halifax inquired, with +a nervous smile. + +"Of course. And there will be buns. You will do me the +invaluable service of representing the opinion of the +British public in advance. Will Thursday suit?" + +"Perfectly," Lady Halifax replied. "The old rooms in +Bryanston Street, I suppose?" + +"Thursday won't suit us," Janet put in decisively. "No, +papa; I've got people coming here to tea. Besides, Lady +Halifax is quite equal to representing the whole British +public by herself, aren't you, dear?" That excellent +woman nodded with a pretence of loftily consenting, and +her daughter gave Janet rather a suspicious glance. "Daddy +and I will come another day," Janet went on in reassuring +tones; "but we shall expect buns too, remember." + +Then they talked of the crocuses in Kensington Gardens; +and of young Skeene's new play at the Princess's--they +all knew young Skeene, and wished him well; and of +Framley's forthcoming novel--Framley, who had made his +noble reputation by portrait-painting--good old Framley +--how would it go? + +"He knows character," Kendal said. + +"That's nothing now," retorted Lawrence Cardiff. "Does +he know where it comes from and where it's going to? And +can he choose? And has he the touch? And hasn't he been +too long a Royal Academician and a member of the Church +of England, and a believer in himself? Oh no! Framley +hasn't anything to tell this generation that he couldn't +say best on canvas." + +"Well," said Lady Halifax disconcertingly, "I suppose +the carriage is at the door, Lawrence, but you might just +send to inquire. The horses stand so badly, I told Peters +he might take them round and round the square." + +Cardiff looked at her with amused reproach, and rang the +bell; and Janet begged somebody or anybody to have another +cup of tea. The Halifaxes always tried Janet. + +They went at last, entreating Cardiff, to his annoyance, +not to come down the narrow winding stair with them to +their carriage. To him no amount of familiar coming and +going could excuse the most trivial of such negligences. +He very often put Janet into her cab, always if it rained. + +The moment they left the room a new atmosphere created +itself there for the two that remained. They sought each +other's eyes with the pleasantest sense of being together +in reality for the first time, and though Janet marked +it by nothing more significant than a suggestion that +Kendal should poke the fire, there was an appreciable +admission in her tone that they were alone and free to +talk, which he recognized with great good-will. He poked +the fire, and she on her low chair, clasping her knee +with both hands, looked almost pretty in the blaze. There +had always been between them a distinct understanding, +the understanding of good-fellowship and ideas of work, +and Kendal saw with pleasure that it was going to be +renewed. + +"I am dying to tell you about it," he said. + +"Paris?" she asked, looking up at him. "I am dying to +hear. The people, especially the people. Lucien, what +was he like? One hears so much of Lucien--they make him +a priest and a king together. And did you go to Barbizon?" + +Another in her place might have added, "And why did you +write so seldom?" There was something that closed Janet's +lips to this. It was the same thing that would not permit +her to call Kendal "Jack," as several other people did, +though her Christian name had been allowed to him for a +long time. It made an awkwardness sometimes, for she +would not say "Mr. Kendal" either--that would be a rebuke +or a suggestion of inferiority, or what not--but she +bridged it over as best she could with a jocose appellative +like "signor," "monsieur," or "Mr. John Kendal," in full. +"Jack" was impossible, "John" was worse. Yes, with a +little nervous shudder, _much_ worse. + +He told her about Paris to her fascination; she had never +seen it: about the boulevards and the cafes and the men's +ateliers, and the vagrant pathos of student life there--he +had seen some clean bits of it--and to all of this old +story he gave such life as a word or a phrase can give. +Even his repressions were full of meaning, and the +best--she felt it was the best--he had to offer her he +offered in fewest words, letting her imagination riot +with them. He described Lucien and the American Colony. +He made her laugh abundantly over the American amateur +as Lucien managed him. They had no end of fun over these +interesting, ingenious, and prodigal people in their +relation to Parisian professional circles. He touched on +Nadie Palicsky lightly, and perhaps it was because Janet +insisted upon an accentuation of the lines--he had sent +her a photograph of one of Nadie's best things--that he +refrained from mentioning Elfrida altogether. Elfrida, +he thought, he would keep till another time. She would +need so much explanation; she was too interesting to lug +in now, it was getting late. Besides, Elfrida was an +exhausting subject, and he was rather done. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +Individually a large number of Royal Academicians +pronounced John Kendal's work impertinent, if not +insulting, meaningless, affected, or flippant. +Collectively, with a corporate opinion that might be +discussed but could not be identified, they received it +and hung it, smothering a distressful doubt, where it +would be least likely to excite either the censure of +the right-minded or the admiration of the unorthodox. +The Grosvenor gave him a discreet appreciation, and the +New received him with joy and thanksgiving. If he had +gone to any of the Private Views, which temptation he +firmly resisted, he would have heard the British public +--for after all the British public is always well +represented at a Private View--say discontentedly how +much better it would like his pictures if they were only +a little more finished. He might even have had the cruel +luck to hear one patron of the arts, who began by designing +the pictorial advertisements for his own furniture-polish, +state that he would buy that twilight effect with the +empty fields, if only the trees in the foreground weren't +so blurred. Other things, too, he might have heard that +would have amused him more as being less commonplace, +but pleased him no better, said by people who cast furtive +glances over their shoulders to see if anybody that might +be the artist was within reach of their discriminating +admiration; and here and there, if he had listened well, +a vigorous word that meant recognition and reward. It +was not that he did not long for the tritest word of +comment from the oracle before which he had chosen to +lay the fruit of his labors; indeed, he was so conscious +of his desire to know this opinion, not over clever as +he believed it, that he ran away on the evening of +varnishing-day. If he staid he felt that he would inevitably +compromise his dignity, so he hid himself with some +amiable people in Hampshire, who could be relied upon +not to worry him, for a week. He did not deny himself +the papers, however. They reached him in stacks, with +the damp chill of the afternoon post upon them; and in +their solid paragraphs he read the verdict of the British +public written out in words of proper length and much +the same phrases that had done duty for Eastlake and Sir +Martin Shee. Fortunately, the amiable people included +some very young people, so young that they could properly +compel Kendal to go into the fields with them and make +cowslip balls, and some robust girls of eighteen and +twenty, who mutely demanded the pleasure of beating him +at tennis every afternoon. He was able in this way to +work off the depression that visited him daily with the +damp odor of London art, criticism, quite independently +of its bias toward himself. He told himself that he had +been let off fairly easily, though he winced considerably +under the adulation of the _Daily Mercury_, and found +himself breathing most freely when least was said about +him. The day of his triumph in the _Mercury_ he made +monstrous cowslip balls, and thought that the world had +never been sufficiently congratulated upon possessing +the ideal simplicity of children. + +Thereafter for two days nothing came, and he began to +grow restless. Then the _Decade_ made its weekly slovenly +appearance, without a wrapper. He opened it with the +accumulated interest of forty-eight hours, turned to +"Fine Arts," and girded himself to receive the _Decade's_ +ideas. He read the first sentence twice--the article +opened curiously, for the _Decade_. He looked at the +cover to see whether he had not been mistaken. Then he +sat down beside the open window, where a fine rain came +in and smote upon the page, and read it through, straining +his eyes in the gathering darkness over the last paragraph. +After that he walked up and down the room among the +shadows for half an hour, not ringing for lights, because +the scented darkness of the garden, where the rain was +dripping, and the half outlines of the things in the room +were so much more grateful to his imagination as the +_Decade's_ critic had stimulated it with the young, +mocking, brilliant voice that spoke in the department of +"Fine Arts." It stirred him all through. In the pleasure +it gave him he refused to reflect how often it dismissed +with contempt where it should have considered with respect, +how it was sometimes inconsistent, sometimes exaggerated +and obscure. He was rapt in the delicacy and truth with +which the critic translated into words the recognizable +souls of a certain few pictures--it could not displease +him that they were very few, since three of his were +among them. When it spoke of these the voice was strong +and gentle, with an uplifted tenderness, and all the +suppressed suggestion that good pictures themselves have. +It made their quality felt in the lines, and it spoke +with a personal joy. + +"A new note!" Kendal thought aloud. "A voice crying in +the wilderness, by Jove! Wolff might have done it if it +had been in French, but Wolff would have been fairer and +more technical and less sympathetic." + +A fine energy crept all through him and burned at his +finger-ends. The desire to work seized him deliciously +with the thrill of being understood, a longing to accomplish +to the utmost of his limitations--he must reasonably +suppose his limitations. Sometimes they were close and +real; at this moment they were far off and vague, and +almost dissolved by the force of his joyous intention. +He threw himself mentally upon half-finished canvas that +stood against the wall in Bryanston Street, and spent +ten exalted minutes in finishing it. When it was done he +found it ravishing, and raged because he could not decently +leave for town before four o'clock next day. He worked +off the time before dinner by putting his things together, +and the amiable people had never found him so delightful +as he was that evening. After amusing one of the robust +young ladies for half an hour at prodigious cost, he +found himself comparing their conversation with the talk +he might have had in the time with Elfrida Bell, and a +fresh sense of injury visited him at having been +high-handedly debarred from that pleasure for so many +weeks. It staid with him and pricked him all the way to +town next day. He was a fool, he thought, to have missed +the chance of meeting her upon the opening days of the +London exhibitions; she was sure to have gone, if it were +only to scoff, and her scoffing would have been so amusing +to listen to. He thought gloomily of the impossibility +of finding her in London if she didn't wish to be found, +and he concluded that he really wanted to see her, that +he must see her soon--to show her that article. + +The desire had not passed from him three days later, when +the boy from below-stairs brought him up a card. Kendal +was in his shirt-sleeves, and had just established a +relation of great intimacy with an entirely new subject. +Before the boy reached him he recognized with annoyance +that it was a lady's card, and he took it between his +thumb and his palette with the most brutal impatience. +"You are to say--" he began, and stopped. "Show the lady +up," he said in substitution, while his face cleared with +a puzzled amusement, and he looked at the card again. It +read "Miss Elfrida Bell," but the odd thing was down in +one corner, where ran the statement, in small square +type, "_The Illustrated Age_." + +There was a sweet glory of May sunlight in the streets +outside, and she seemed to bring some of it in with her, +as well as the actual perfume of the bunch of violets +which she wore in her belt. Her eyes, under the queerest +of hats, were bright and soft, there was a faint color +in her cheeks. Her shapely hands were in gray gloves with +long gauntlets, and in one of them she carried a +business-like little black notebook. + +She came in with a shy hesitation that became her very +well, and as she approached, their old understanding +immediately arranged itself between them. "I should be +perfectly justified in sulking," he declared gaily, +disencumbering a chair of a battered tin box of empty +twisted tubes for her, "and asking you to what I might +attribute the honor of this visit." He put up his eye-glass +and stared through it with an absurd affectation of +dignified astonishment. "But I'll magnanimously admit +that I'm delighted to see you. I'll even lay aside my +wounded sensibilities enough to ask you where you've +been." + +"I!" faltered Elfrida softly, with her wide-eyed smile. +"Oh! as if that were of any consequence!" She stepped +back a pace or two to look at an unpacked canvas, and +her expression changed. "Ah!" she said gravely, "how good +it is to see that! I wish I could remember by myself so +much, half so much, of the sunlight of that country. In +three days of these fogs I had forgotten it. I mean the +reality of it Only a pale theory staid with me. Now it +comes back." + +"Then you _have_ been in London?" he probed, while she +looked wistfully at the fringe of a wood in Brittany that +stood upon his canvas. Her eyes left the picture and +wandered around the room. + +"I!" she said again. "In London? Yes, I have been in +London. How _splendidly_ different you are!" she said, +looking straight at him as if she stated a falling of +the thermometer or a quotation from the Stock Exchange. +"But are you sure, _perfectly_ sure," she went on, with +dainty emphasis, "that you can stay different? Aren't +you the least bit afraid that in the end your work may +become--pardon me--commercial, like the rest? Is there +no danger?" + +"I wish you would sit down," Kendal said ruefully. "I +shouldn't feel it so much, perhaps, if you sat down. And +pending my acknowledgment of a Londoner's sin in painting +in London, it seems to me that you have put yourself +under pretty much the same condemnation." + +"I have not come to paint," Elfrida answered quickly. "I +have put away the insanity of thinking I ever could. I +told you that, I think, in a letter. But there are--other +things. You may remember that you thought there were." + +She spoke with so much repressed feeling that Kendal +reproached himself with not having thought carefully +enough about it to take her at her letter's word. He took +up the card that announced her, and looked again at the +lower left-hand corner. "I do remember, but I don't +understand. Is this one of them?" he asked. + +Something, something absolutely unintentional and of the +slightest quality, in his voice operated to lower her +estimate of the announcement on the card, and she flushed +a little. + +"It's--it's a way," she said. "But it was stupid +--bourgeois--of me to send up a card--such a card. With +most of these people it is necessary; with you, of course, +it was hideous! Give it to me, please," and she proceeded +to tear it slowly into little bits. "You must pardon +me," she went on, "but I thought, you know--we are not +in Paris now--and there might be people here. And then, +after all, it explains me." + +"Then I should like another," Kendal interrupted. + +"I'm going to do a descriptive article for the _Age_; +the editor wants to call it 'Through the Studios,' or +something of that sort--about the artists over here and +their ways of working, and their places, and their ideas, +and all that, and I thought, if you didn't mind, I should +like to begin with you. Though it's rather like taking +an advantage." + +"But are you going in for this sort of thing seriously? +Have you ever done anything of the sort before? Isn't it +an uncommon grind?" Kendal asked, with hearty interest. +"What made you think of it? Of course you may say any +mortal thing you want to about me--though I call it +treachery, your going over to the critics. And I'm afraid +you won't find anything very picturesque here. As you +say, we're not in Paris." + +"Oh yes, I shall," she replied sweetly, ignoring his +questions. "I like pipes and cobwebs and old coats hanging +on a nail, and plenty of litter and dust and confusion. +It's much better for work than tapestries and old armour +and wood-carvings." + +Miss Bell did not open her little black notebook to record +these things, however. Instead, she picked up a number +of the _London Magazine_ and looked at the title of an +article pencil-marked on the pale green cover. It was +Janet Cardiff's article, and Lady Halifax had marked it. +Elfrida had read it before. It was a fanciful recreation +of the conditions of verse-making when Herrick wrote, +very pleasurably ironical in its bearing upon more modern +poetry-making. It had quite deserved the praise she gave +it in the corner which the _Age_ reserved for magazines. +"I want you to understand," she said slowly, "that it is +only a way. I shall not be content to stick at +this--ordinary--kind of journalistic work. I shall aim +at something better--something perhaps even as good as +that," she held up the marked article. "I wonder if she +realizes how fortunate she is--to appear between the same +covers as Swinburne!" + +"It is not fortune altogether," Kendal answered; "she +works hard." + +"Do you know her? Do you see her often? Will you tell +her that there is somebody who takes a special delight +in every word she writes?" asked Elfrida impulsively. +"But no, of course not! Why should she care--she must +hear such things so often. Tell me, though, what is she +like, and particularly how old is she?" + +Kendal had begun to paint again; it was a compliment he +was able to pay only to a very few people. "I shall +certainly repeat it to her," he said. "She can't hear +such things often enough--nobody can. How shall I tell +you what she is like! She is tall, about as tall as you +are, and rather thin. She has a good color, and nice hair +and eyes." + +"What colored eyes?" + +"Brown, I think. No--I don't know, but not blue. And good +eyebrows. Particularly good eyebrows." + +"She must be plain," Elfrida thought, "if he has to dwell +upon her eyebrows. And how old?" she asked again. "Much +over thirty?" + +"Oh dear, no! Not thirty. Twenty-four, I should say." + +Elfrida's face fell perceptibly. "Twenty-four!" she +exclaimed. "And I am already twenty! I shall never catch +up to her in four years. Oh, you have made me so unhappy! +I thought she must be _quite_ old--forty perhaps. I was +prepared to venerate her. But twenty-four and good +eyebrows! It is too much." + +Kendal laughed. "Oh, I say!" he exclaimed, jumping up +and bringing a journal from the other side of the room, +"if you're going in for art criticism, here's something! +Do you see the _Decade?_ The _Decade's_ article on the +pictures in last week's number fairly brought me back to +town." He held his brush between his teeth and found the +place for her. "There! I don't know who did it, and it +was the first thing Miss Cardiff asked me when I put in +my appearance there yesterday, so she doesn't either, +though she writes a good deal for the _Decade_." + +Kendal had gone back to work, and did not see that Elfrida +was making an effort of self-control, with a curious +exaltation in her eyes. "I--I have seen this," she said +presently. + +"Capital, isn't it!" + +"Miss Cardiff asked you who wrote it?" she repeated +hungrily. + +"Yes; she commissioned me to find out, and if he was +respectable to bring him there. Her father said I was to +bring him anyway. So I don't propose to find out. The +Cardiffs have burned their fingers once or twice already +handling obscure genius, and I won't take the +responsibility. But it's adorably savage, isn't it?" + +"Do you really like it!" she asked. It was her first +taste of success, and the savor was very sweet. But she +was in an agony of desire to tell him, to tell him +immediately, but gracefully, delicately, that she wrote +it. How could she say it, and yet seem uneager, indifferent? +But the occasion must not slip. It was a miserable +moment. + +"Immensely," he replied. + +"Then," she said, with just a little more significance +in her voice than she intended, "you would rather not +find out?" + +He turned and met her shining eyes. She smiled, and he +had an instant of conviction. "You," he exclaimed--"you +did it! Really?" + +She nodded, and he swiftly reflected upon what he had +said. "Now criticise!" she begged impatiently. + +"I can only advise you to follow your own example," he +said gravely. "It's rather exuberantly cruel in places." + +"Adorably savage, you _said!_" + +"I wasn't criticising then. And I suppose," he went on, +with a shade of awkwardness, "I ought to thank you for +all the charming things you put in about me." + +"Ah!" she returned, with a contemptuous pout and shrug, +"don't say that--it's like the others. But," she clinched +it notwithstanding, and rather quickly, "will you take +me to see Miss Cardiff? I mean," she added, noting his +look of consternation, "will you ask her if I may come? +I forget--we are in London." + +At this moment the boy from below-stairs knocked with +tea and cakes, little Italian cakes in iced jackets and +paper boats. "Yes, certainly--yes, I will," said Kendal, +staring at the tray, and trying to remember when he had +ordered it; "but it's your plain duty to make us both +some tea, and to eat as many of these pink-and-white +things as you possibly can. They seem to have come down +from heaven for you." + +They ate and drank and talked and were merry for quite +twenty minutes. Elfrida opened her notebook and threatened +absurdities of detail for publication in the _Age_; he +defied her, tilted his chair back, put his feet on a +packing-box, and smoked a cigarette. He placed all the +studies he had made after she left Paris before her, and +as she finished the last but one of the Italian cakes, +they discussed these in the few words from which they +both drew such large and satisfying meanings as do not +lie at all in the vocabulary of outsiders. Elfrida felt +the keenest pleasure of her whole life in the knowledge +that Kendal was talking to her more seriously, more +carefully, because of that piece of work in the _Decade_; +the consciousness of it was like wine to her, freeing +her thoughts and her lips. Kendal felt, too, that the +plane of their relations was somehow altered. He was not +sure that he liked the alteration. Already she had grown +less amusing, and the real _camaraderie_ which she +constantly suggested her desire for he could not, at the +bottom of his heart, truly tolerate with a woman. He was +an artist, but he was also an Englishman, and he told +himself that he must not let her get into the way of +coming there. He felt an obscure inward irritation, which +he did not analyze, that she should talk so well and be +so charming personally at the same time. + +Elfrida, still in the flush of her elation, was putting +on her gloves to go, when the room resounded to a masterful +double rap. The door almost simultaneously opened far +enough to disclose a substantial gloved hand upon the +outer handle, and in the tones of confident aggression +which habit has given to many middle-aged ladies, a +feminine voice said, "May we come in?" + +It is not probable that Lady Halifax had ever been so +silently, surely, and swiftly damned before. In the +fraction of an instant that followed Kendal glanced at +the dismantled tray and felt that the situation was +atrocious. He had just time to put his foot upon his +half-smoked cigarette, and to force a pretence of unconcern +into his "Come in! Come in!" when the lady and her daughter +entered with something of unceremoniousness. + +"Those are appalling stairs--" Lady Halifax observed +Elfrida, and came to an instant's astonished halt--"of +yours, Mr. Kendal, appalling!" Then as Kendal shook hands +with Miss Halifax she faced round upon him in a manner +which said definitely, "Explain!" and behind her sharp +good-natured little eyes Kendal read, "If it is possible!" +He looked at Elfrida in the silent hope that she would +go, but she appeared to have no such intention. He was +pushed to a momentary wish that she had got into the +cupboard, which he dismissed, turning a deeper brick +color as it came and went. Elfrida was looking up with +calm inquiry, buttoning a last glove-button. + +"Lady Halifax," he said, seeing nothing else for it, +"this is Miss Bell, from America, a fellow-student in +Paris. Miss Bell has deserted art for literature, though," +he went on bravely, noting an immediate change in his +visitor's expression, and the fact that her acknowledgment +was quite as polite as was necessary. "She has done me +the honor to look me up this afternoon in the formidable +character of a representative of the press." + +Lady Halifax looked as if the explanation was quite +acceptable, though she reserved the right of criticism. + +Elfrida took the first word, smiling prettily straight +into Lady Halifax's face. + +"Mr. Kendal pretends to be very much frightened," she +said, with pleasant, modest coolness, and looked at +Kendal. + +"From America," Lady Halifax repeated, as if for the +comfort of the assurance. "I am sure it is a great +advantage nowadays to have been brought up in America." +This was quite as delicately as Lady Halifax could possibly +manage to inform Kendal that she understood the situation. +Miss Halifax was looking absorbedly at Elfrida. "Are you +really a journalist?" Miss Halifax asked. "How nice! I +didn't know there were any ladies on the London press, +except, of course, the fashion-papers, but that isn't +quite the same, is it?" + +When Miss Halifax said "How nice!" it indicated a strong +degree of interest. The threads of Miss Halifax's +imagination were perpetually twisting themselves about +incidents that had the least unusualness, and here was +a most unusual incident, with beauty and genius thrown +in! Whether she could approve it or not in connection +with Kendal, Miss Halifax would decide afterward. She +told herself that she ought to be sufficiently devoted +to Kendal to be magnanimous about his friends. Her six +years of seniority gave her the candor to confess that +she was devoted to Kendal--to his artistic personality, +that is, and to his pictures. While Kendal turned a still +uncomfortable back upon them, showing Lady Halifax what +he had done since she had been there last--she was always +pitiless in her demands for results--Elfrida talked a +little about "the press" to Miss Halifax. Very lightly +and gracefully she talked about it, so lightly and +gracefully that Miss Halifax obtained an impression which +she has never lost, that journalism for a woman had ideal +attractions, and privately resolved if ever she were +thrown upon the bleak world to take it up. As the others +turned toward them again Elfrida noticed the +conscience-stricken glance which Kendal gave to the +tea-tray. + +"Oh," she said, with a slight enhancement of her pretty +Parisian gurgle, "I am very guilty--you must allow me to +say that I am very guilty indeed! Mr. Kendal did not +expect to see me to-day, and in his surprise he permitted +me to eat up all the cakes! I am so sorry! Are there no +more--anywhere?" she asked Kendal, with such a gay +pretence of tragic grief that they all laughed together. +She went away then, and while they waited for a fresh +supply of tea, Kendal did his best to satisfy the curiosity +of the Halifaxes about her. He was so more than thankful +she had convinced them that she was a person about whom +it was proper to be curious. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +It was Arthur Rattray who generally did the art criticism +for the _Decade_, and when a temporary indisposition +interfered between Mr. Rattray and this duty early in +May, he had acquired so much respect for Elfrida's opinion +in artistic matters, and so much good-will toward her +personally, that he wrote and asked her to undertake it +for him with considerable pleasure. This respect and +regard had dawned upon him gradually, from various sources, +in spite of the fact that the Latin Quarter article had +not been a particular success. That, to do Miss Bell +justice, as Mr. Rattray said in mentioning the matter to +the editor-in-chief, was not so much the fault of the +article as the fault of their public. Miss Bell wrote +the graphic naked truth about the Latin Quarter. Even +after Rattray had sent her copy back to be amended for +the third time, she did not seem able to realize that +their public wouldn't stand _unions libres_ when not +served up with a moral purpose--that no artistic apology +for them would do. In the end, therefore, Rattray was +obliged to mutilate the article himself, and to neutralize +it here and there. He was justified in taking the trouble, +for it was matter they wanted, on account of some expensive +drawings of the locality that had been in hand a long +time. Even then the editor-in-chief had grumbled at its +"tone," though the wrath of the editor-in-chief was +nothing to Miss Bell's. Mr. Rattray could not remember +ever having had before a conversation with a contributor +which approached in liveliness or interest the one he +sustained with Miss Bell the day after her copy appeared. +If he imparted some ideas of expediency, he received some +of obligation to artistic truth, which he henceforth +associated with Elfrida's expressive eyes and what he +called her foreign accent. On the whole, therefore, the +conversation was agreeable, and it left him with the +impression that Miss Bell, under proper guidance, could +very possibly do some fresh unconventional work for the +_Age_. Freshness and unconventionality for the _Age_ was +what Mr. Rattray sought as they seek the jewel in the +serpent's head in the far East. He talked to the +editor-in-chief about it, mentioning the increasing lot +of things concerning women that had to be touched, which +only a woman could treat "from the inside," and the +editor-in-chief agreed sulkily, because experience told +him it was best to agree with Mr. Rattray, that Miss Bell +should be taken on the staff on trial, at two pounds a +week. "But the paper doesn't want a female Zola," he +growled; "you can tell her that." Rattray did not tell +her precisely that, but he explained the situation so +that she quite understood it, the next afternoon when he +called to talk the matter over with her. He could not +ask her to come to the office to discuss it, he said, +they were so full up, they had really no place to receive +a lady. And he apologized for his hat, which was not a +silk one, in the uncertain way of a man who has heard of +the proprieties in these things. She made him tea with +her samovar, and she talked to him about Parisian journalism +and the Parisian stage in a way that made her a further +discovery to him; and his mind, hitherto wholly devoted +to the service of the _Illustrated Age_, received an +impetus in a new direction. When he had gone Elfrida +laughed a little, silently, thinking first of this, for +it was quite plain to her. Then, contrasting what the +_Age_ wanted her to write with her ideal of journalistic +literature, she stated to Buddha that it was "worse than +_panade_." "But it means two pounds a week, Buddha," she +said; "fifty francs! Do you understand that? It means +that we shall be able to stay here, in the world--that +I shall not be obliged to take you to Sparta. You don't +know, Buddha, how you would _loathe_ Sparta! But understand, +it is at _that_ price that we are going to despise +ourselves for a while--not for the two pounds!" + +And next day she was sent to report a distribution of +diplomas to graduating nurses by the Princess of Wales. + +Buddha was not an adequate confidant. Elfrida found him +capable of absorbing her emotions indefinitely, but his +still smile was not always responsive enough, so she made +a little feast, and asked Golightly Ticke to tea, the +Sunday after the Saturday that made her a salaried member +of the London press. Golightly's felicitations were +sincere and spasmodically sympathetic, but he found it +impossible to conceal the fact that of late the world +had not smiled equally upon him. In spite of the dramatic +fervor with which the part of James Jones, a solicitor's +clerk, had been rendered every evening, the piece at the +Princess's had to come to an unprofitable close, the +theatre had been leased to an American company, Phyllis +had gone to the provinces, and Mr. Ticke's abilities were +at the service of chance. By the time he had reached +his second cigarette he was so sunk in cynicism that +Elfrida applied herself delicately to discover these +facts. Golightly made an elaborate effort to put her off. +He threw his head back in his chair and watched the faint +rings of his cigarette curling into indistinguishability +against the ceiling, and said he was only the dust that +blew about the narrow streets of the world, and why should +she care to know which way the wind took him! Lighting +his third, he said, as bitterly as that engrossment would +permit him, that the sooner--puff--it was over--puff--the +sooner--puff--to sleep; and when the lighting was quite +satisfactorily accomplished he laughed harshly. "I shall +think," said Elfrida earnestly, "if you do not tell me +how things are with you, since they are bad, that you +are not a true Bohemian--that you have scruples." + +"You know better--at least I hope you do--than to charge +me with that," Golightly returned, with an inflection +full of reproachful meaning. "I--I drank myself to sleep +last night, Miss Bell. When the candle flickered out I +thought that it was all over--curious sensation. This +morning," he added, looking through his half-closed +eyelashes with sardonic stage effect, "I wished it had +been." + +"Tell me," Elfrida insisted gently; and looking attentively +at his long, thin fingers Mr. Ticke then told her. He +told her tersely, it did not take long; and in the end +he doubled up his hand and pulled a crumpled cuff down +over it. "To me," he said, "a thing like that represents +the worst of it. When I look at that I feel capable of +crime. I don't know whether you'll understand, but the +consideration of what my finer self suffers through +sordidness of this sort sometimes makes me think that to +rob a bank would be an act of virtue." + +"I understand," said Elfrida. + +"Washerwomen as a class are callous. I suppose the alkalies +they use finally penetrate to their souls. I said to +mine last Thursday, 'But I must be clean, Mrs. Binkley!' +and the creature replied, 'I don't see at all, Mr. Ticks' +--she has an odious habit of calling me Mr. Ticks--'why +you shouldn't go dirty occasional.' She seemed to think +she had made a joke!" + +"They live to be paid," Elfrida said, with hard philosophy, +and then she questioned him delicately about his play. +Could she induce him to show it to her, some day? Her +opinion was worth nothing really--oh no, absolutely +nothing--but it would be a pleasure if Golightly were +_sure_ he didn't mind. + +Golightly found a difficulty in selecting phrases repressive +enough to be artistic, in which to tell her that he would +be delighted. + +When Mr. Ticke came in that evening he found upon his +dressing-table a thick square envelope addressed to him +in Elfrida's suggestive hand. With his fingers and thumb +he immediately detected a round hardness in one corner, +and he took some pains to open the letter so that nothing +should fall out. He postponed the pleasure of reading it +until he had carefully extracted the two ten-shilling +pieces, divested them of their bits of tissue-paper, and +put them in his waistcoat pocket. Then he held the letter +nearer to the candle and read: "I have thought about this +for a whole hour. You must believe, please, that it is +no vulgar impulse. I acknowledge it to be a very serious +liberty, and in taking it I rely upon not having +misinterpreted the scope of the freedom which exists +between us. In Bohemia--our country--one may share one's +luck with a friend, _n'est ce pas?_ I will not ask to be +forgiven." + +"Nice girl," said Mr. Golightly Ticke, taking off his +boots. He went to bed rather resentfully conscious of +the difference there was in the benefactions of Miss +Phyllis Fane. + +Shortly after this Mr. Ticke's own luck mended, and on +two different occasions Elfrida found a bunch of daffodils +outside her door in the morning, that made a mute and +graceful acknowledgment of the financial bond Mr. Ticke +did not dream of offering to materialize in any other +way. He felt his gratitude finely; it suggested to him +a number of little directions in which he could make +himself useful to Miss Bell, putting aside entirely the +question of repayment. One of these resolved itself into +an invitation from the Arcadia Club, of which Mr. Ticke +was a member in impressive arrears, to their monthly +_soiree_ in the Landscapists' rooms in Bond Street. The +Arcadia Club had the most liberal scope of any in London, +he told Elfrida, and included the most interesting people. +Painters belonged to it, and sculptors, actors, novelists, +musicians, journalists, perhaps above all, journalists. +A great many ladies were members, Elfrida would see, and +they were always glad to welcome a new personality. The +club recognized how the world had run to types, and how +scarce and valuable personalities were in consequence. +It was not a particularly conventional club, but he would +arrange that, if Elfrida would accept his escort. Mrs. +Tommy Morrow should meet her in the dressing-room, as a +concession to the prejudices of society. + +"Mrs. Tommy is a brilliant woman in her way," Mr. Ticke +added; "she edits the _Boudoir_--I might say she created +the _Boudoir_. They call her the Queen of Arcadia. She +has a great deal of manner." + +"What does Mr. Tommy Morrow do?" Elfrida asked. But +Golightly could not inform her as to Mr. Tommy Morrow's +occupation. + +The rooms were half full when they arrived, and as the +man in livery announced them, "Mrs. Morrow, Miss Bell, +and Mr. Golightly Ticke," it seemed to Elfrida that +everybody turned simultaneously to look. There was nobody +to receive them; the man in livery published them, as it +were, to the company, which she felt to be a more effective +mode of entering society, when it was the society of the +arts. She could not possibly help being aware that a +great many people were looking in her direction over Mrs. +Tommy Morrow's shoulder. Presently it became obvious that +Mrs. Tommy Morrow was also aware of it. The shoulder was +a very feminine shoulder, with long lines curving forward +into the sulphur-colored gown that met them not too +prematurely. Mrs. Tommy Morrow insisted upon her shoulder, +and upon her neck, which was short behind but long in +front in effect, and curved up to a chin which was somewhat +too persistently thrust forward. Mrs. Tommy had a pretty +face with an imperious expression. "Just the face," as +Golightly murmured to Elfrida, "to run the _Boudoir_." +She seemed to know everybody, bowed right and left with +varying degrees of cordiality, and said sharply, "No shop +to-night!" to a thin young woman in a high black silk, +who came up to her exclaiming, "Oh, Mrs. Morrow, that +function at Sandringham has been postponed." Presently +Mrs. Morrow's royal progress was interrupted by a gentleman +who wished to present Signer Georgiadi, "the star of the +evening," Golightly said hurriedly to Elfrida. Mrs. Morrow +was very gracious, but the little fat Italian with the +long hair and the drooping eyelids was atrociously +embarrassed to respond to her compliments in English. He +struggled so violently that Mrs. Morrow began to smile +with a compassionate patronage which turned him a +distressing terra-cotta. Elfrida looked on for a few +minutes, and then, as one of the group, she said quietly +in French, "And Italian opera in England, how do you find +it, Signor?" + +The Italian thanked her with every feature of his expressive +countenance, and burst with polite enthusiasm into his +opinion of the Albert Hall concerts. When he discovered +Elfrida to be an American, and therefore not specially +susceptible to praise of English classical interpretations, +he allowed himself to become critical, and their talk +increased in liveliness and amiability. + +Mrs. Morrow listened with an appreciative air for a few +minutes, playing with her fan; then she turned to Mr. +Ticke. + +"Golightly," she said acidly, "I am dying of thirst You +shall take me to the refreshment table." + +So the star of the evening was abandoned to Elfrida, and +finding in her a refuge from the dreadful English tongue, +he clung to her. She was so occupied with him in this +character that almost all the other distinguished people +who attended the _soiree_ of the Arcadia Club escaped +her. Golightly asked her reproachfully afterward how he +could possibly have pointed them out to her, absorbed as +she was--and some of them would have been so pleased to +be introduced to her! She met a few notwithstanding; +they were chiefly rather elderly unmarried ladies, who +immediately mentioned to her the paper they were connected +with, and one or two of them, learning that she was a +newcomer, kindly gave her their cards, and asked her to +come and see them any second Tuesday. They had indefinite +and primitive ideas of doing their hair, and they were +certainly _mal tournee_; but Elfrida saw that she made +an impression on them--that they would remember her and +talk of her; and seeing that, other things became less +noteworthy. She felt that these ladies were more or less +emancipated, on easy terms with the facts of life, free +from the prejudices that tied the souls of people she +saw shopping at the Stores, for instance. That, and a +familiarity with the exigencies of copy at short notice, +was discernible in the way they talked and looked about +them, and the readiness with which they produced a pencil +to write the second Tuesday on their cards. Almost every +lady suggested that she might have decorated the staff +of her journal an appreciable number of years, if that +supposition had not been forbidden by the fact that the +feminine element in journalism is of comparatively recent +introduction. Elfrida wondered what they occupied themselves +with before. It did not detract from her sense of the +success of the evening--Golightly Ticke went about telling +everybody that she was the new American writer on the +_Age_--to feel herself altogether the youngest person +present, and manifestly the most effectively dressed, in +her cloudy black net and daffodils. Her spirits rose with +a keen instinct that assured her she would win, if it +were only a matter of a race with _them_. She had never +had the feeling, in any security, before; it lifted her +and carried her on in a wave of exhilaration. Golightly +Ticke, taking her in turn to the buffet for lemonade and +a sandwich, told her that he knew she would enjoy it--she +must be enjoying it, she looked in such capital form. It +was the first time she had been near the buffet; so she +had not had the opportunity of observing how important +a feature the lemonade and sandwiches formed in the +entertainment of the evening--how persistently the +representatives of the arts, with varying numbers of +buttons off their gloves, returned to this light +refreshment. + +Elfrida thanked Mrs. Tommy Morrow very sweetly for her +chaperonage in the cloak-room when the hour of departure +came. "Well," said Mrs. Morrow, "you can say you have +seen a characteristic London literary gathering." + +"Yes, thanks!" said Elfrida; and then, looking about her +for a commonplace, "How much taller the women seem to be +than the men," she remarked. + +"Yes," returned Mrs. Tommy Morrow, "Du Maurier drew +attention to that in _Punch_, some time ago." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Janet Cardiff, running downstairs to the drawing-room +from the top story of the house in Kensington Square with +the knowledge that a new American girl, who wrote very +clever things about pictures, awaited her there, tried +to remember just what sort of description John Kendal +had given of her visitor. Her recollection was vague as +to detail; she could not anticipate a single point with +certainty, perhaps because she had not paid particular +attention at the time. She had been given a distinct +impression that she might expect to be interested, however, +which accounted for her running downstairs. Nothing +hastened Janet Cardiff's footsteps more than the prospect +of anybody interesting. She and her father declared that +it was their great misfortune to be thoroughly respectable, +it cut them off from so much. It was in particular the +girl's complaint against their life that humanity as they +knew it was rather a neutral-tinted, carefully woven +fabric too largely "machine-made," as she told herself, +with a discontent that the various Fellows of the Royal +Society and members of the Athenaeum Club, with whom the +Cardiffs were in the habit of dining, could hardly have +thought themselves capable of inspiring. It seemed to +Janet that nobody crossed their path until his or her +reputation was made, and that by the time people had made +their reputations they succumbed to them, and became +uninteresting. + +She told herself at once that nothing Kendal could have +said would have prepared her for this American, and that +certainly nothing she had seen or read of other Americans +did. Elfrida was standing beside the open window looking +out. As Janet came in a breeze wavered through and lifted +the fluffy hair about her visitor's forehead, and the +scent of the growing things in the little square came +with it into the room. She turned slowly, with grave wide +eyes and a plaintive indrawing of her pretty underlip, +and held out three full-blown gracious Marechal Neil +roses on long slender stems. "I have brought you these," +she said, with a charming effect of simplicity, "to make +me welcome. There was no reason, none whatever, why I +should be welcome, so I made one. You will not be +angry--perhaps?" + +Janet banished her conventional "Very glad to see you" +instantly. She took the roses with a quick thrill of +pleasure. Afterward she told herself that she was not +touched, not in the least, she did not quite know why; +but she freely acknowledged that she was more than amused. + +"How charming of you!" she said. "But I have to thank +you for coming as well. Now let us shake hands, or we +shan't feel properly acquainted." Janet detected a +half-tone of patronage in her voice, and fell into a rage +with herself because of it. She looked at Elfrida sharply +to note a possible resentment, but there was none. If +she had looked a trifle more sharply she might have +observed a subtler patronage in the little smile her +visitor received this commonplace with; but, like the +other, she was too much occupied in considering her +personal effect. She had become suddenly desirous that +it should be a good one. + +Elfrida went on in the personal key. "I suppose you are +very tired of hearing such things," she said, "but I owe +you so much." + +This was not quite justifiable, for Miss Cardiff was only +a successful writer in the magazines, whose name was very +familiar to other people who wrote in them, and had a +pleasant association for the reading public. It was by +no means fame; she would have been the first to laugh at +the magniloquence of the word in any personal connection. +For her father she would accept a measure of it, and only +deplored that the lack of public interest in Persian made +the measure small. She had never confessed to a soul how +largely she herself was unacquainted with his books, and +how considerably her knowledge of her father's specialty +was covered by the opinion that Persian was a very +decorative character. She could not let Elfrida suppose +that she thought this anything but a politeness. + +"Oh, thanks--impossible!" she cried gaily. "Indeed, I +assure you it is months since I heard anything so +agreeable," which was also a departure from the strictest +verity. + +"But truly! I'm afraid I am very clumsy," Elfrida added, +with a pretty dignity, "but I should like to assure you +of that." + +"If you have allowed me to amuse you now and then for +half an hour it has been very good of you," Janet returned, +looking at Miss Bell with rather more curious interest +than she thought it polite to show. It began to seem to +her, however, that the conventional side of the occasion +was not obvious from any point of view. "You are an +American, aren't you?" she asked. "Mr. Kendal told me +so. I suppose one oughtn't to say that one would like +to be an American. But you have such a pull! I know I +should like living there." + +Elfrida gave herself the effect of considering the matter +earnestly. It flitted, really, over the surface of her +mind, which was engaged in absorbing Janet and the room, +and the situation. + +"Perhaps it is better to be born in America than in--most +places," she said, with a half glance at the prim square +outside. "It gives you a point of view that is--splendid." +In hesitating this way before her adjectives, she always +made her listeners doubly attentive to what she had to +say. "And having been deprived of so much that you have +over here, we like it better, of course, when we get it, +than you do. But nobody would live in constant deprivation. +No, you wouldn't like living there. Except in New York, +and, oh, I should say Santa Barbara, and New Orleans +perhaps, the life over there is--infernal." + +"You are like a shower-bath," said Janet to herself; but +the shower-bath had no palpable effect upon her. "What +have we that is so important that you haven't got?" she +asked. + +"Quantities of things." Elfrida hesitated, not absolutely +sure of the wisdom of her example. Then she ventured it. +"The picturesqueness of society--your duchesses and your +women in the green-grocers' shops." It was not wise, she +saw instantly. + +"Really? It is so difficult to understand that duchesses +are interesting--out of novels; and the green-grocers' +wives are a good deal alike, too, aren't they?" + +"It's the contrast; you see our duchesses were +green-grocers' wives the day before yesterday, and our +green-grocers' wives subscribe to the magazines. It's +all mixed up, and there are no high lights anywhere. You +move before us in a sort of panoramic pageant," Elfrida +went on, determined to redeem her point, "with your Queen +and Empress of India--she ought to be riding on an +elephant, oughtn't she?--in front, and all your princes +and nobles with their swords drawn to protect her. Then +your Upper Classes and your Upper Middle Classes walking +stiffly two and two; and then your Lower Middle Classes +with large families, dropping their h's; and then your +hideous people from the slums. And besides," she added, +with prettily repressed enthusiasm, "there is the shadowy +procession of all the people that have gone before, and +we can see that you are a good deal like them, though +they are more interesting still. It is very pictorial." +She stopped suddenly and consciously, as if she had said +too much, and Janet felt that she was suggestively +apologized to. + +"Doesn't the phenomenal squash make up for all that?" +she asked. "It would to me. I'm dying to see the phenomenal +squash, and the prodigious water-melon, and--" + +"And the falls of Niagara?" Elfrida put in, with the +faintest turning down of the corners of her mouth. "I'm +afraid our wonders are chiefly natural, and largely +vegetable, as you say." + +"But they are wonders. Everything here has been measured +so many times. Besides, haven't you got the elevated +railway, and a statue of Liberty, and the 'Jeanne d'Arc,' +and W. D. Howells! To say nothing of a whole string of +poets--good gray poets that wear beards and laurels, and +fanciful young ones that dance in garlands on the back +pages of the _Century_. Oh, I know them all, the dear +things! And I'm quite sure their ideas are indigenous to +the soil." + +Elfrida let her eyes tell her appreciation, and also the +fact that she would take courage now, she was gaining +confidence. "I'm glad you like them," she said. "Howells +would do if he would stop writing about virtuous +sewing-girls, and give us some real _romans psychologiques_. +But he is too much afraid of soiling his hands, that +monsieur; his _betes humaines_ are always conventionalized, +and generally come out at the end wearing the halo of +the redeemed. He always reminds me of Cruikshank's picture +of the ghost being put out by the extinguisher in the +'Christmas Carol.' His genius is the ghost, and +conventionality is the extinguisher. But it _is_ genius, +so it's a pity." + +"It seems to me that Howells deals honestly with his +materials," Janet said, instinctively stilling the jar +of Elfrida's regardless note. She was so pretty, this +new creature, and she had such original ways. Janet must +let her talk about _romans psychologiques_, or worse +things, if she wanted to. "To me he has a tremendous +appearance of sincerity, psychological and other. But do +you know, I don't think the English or American people +are exactly calculated to reward the sort of vivisection +you mean. The _bete_ is too conscious of his moral fibre +when he's respectable, and when he isn't respectable he +doesn't commit picturesque crimes, he steals and boozes. +I dare say he's bestial enough, but pure unrelieved filth +can't be transmuted into literature, and as a people +we're perfectly devoid of that extraordinary artistic +nature that it makes such a foil for in the Latins. That +is really the only excuse the naturalists have." + +"Excuse!" Elfrida repeated, with a bewildered look. "You +had Wainwright," she added hastily. + +"_Nous nous en felicitons!_ We've got him still--in Madame +Tussaud's," cried Janet "He poisoned for money in cold +blood--not exactly an artistic vice! Oh, _he_ won't +do!"--she laughed triumphantly--"if he did write charming +things about the Renaissance! Besides, he illustrates my +case; among us he was a phenomenon, like the elephant-headed +man. Phenomena are for the scientists. You don't mean +to tell me that any literature that pretends to call +itself artistic has a right to touch them." + +By this time they had absolutely forgotten that up to +twenty minutes ago they had never seen each other before. +Already they had mutely and unconsciously begun to rejoice +that they had come together; already each of them promised +herself the exploration of the other's nature, with the +preliminary idea that it would be a satisfying, at least +an interesting process. The impulse made Elfrida almost +natural, and Janet perceived this with quick +self-congratulation. Already she had made up her mind +that this manner was a pretty mask which it would be her +business to remove. + +"But--but you're not in it!" Elfrida returned. "Pardon +me, but you're not _there_, you know. Art has no ideal +but truth, and to conventionalize truth is to damn it In +the most commonplace material there is always truth, but +here they conventionalize it out of all--" + +"Oh," cried Janet, "we're a conventional people, I assure +you, Miss Bell, and so are you, for how could you change +your spots in a hundred years? The material here is +conventional. Daudet couldn't have written of us. Our +wicked women are too inglorious. Now Sapho--" + +Miss Cardiff stopped at the ringing of the door-bell. +"Oh," she said, "here is my father. You will let me give +you a cup of tea now, won't you?" The maid was bringing +in the tray. "I should like you to meet my father." + +Lawrence Cardiff's grasp was on the door-handle almost +as she spoke. Seeing Elfrida, he involuntarily put up +his hand to settle the back of his coat collar--these +little middle-aged ways were growing upon him--and shook +hands with her as Janet introduced them, with that courtly +impenetrable agreeableness that always provoked curiosity +about him in strangers, and often led to his being taken +for somebody more important than he was, usually somebody +in politics. Elfrida saw that he was quite different from +her conception of a university professor with a reputation +in Persian and a clever daughter of twenty-four. He was +straight and slender for one thing; he had gay inquiring +eyes, and fair hair just beginning to show gray where +the ends were brushed back; and Elfrida immediately became +aware that his features were as modern and as mobile as +possible. She had a moment of indecision and surprise +--indecision as to the most effective way of presenting +herself, and surprise that it should be necessary to +decide upon a way. It had never occurred to her that a +gentleman who had won scientific celebrity by digging +about Arabic roots, and who had contributed a daughter +like Janet to the popular magazines, could claim anything +of her beyond a highly respectful consideration. In +moments when she hoped to know the Cardiffs well she had +pictured herself doing little graceful acts of politeness +toward this paternal person--acts connected with his +spectacles, his _Athenian_, his foot-stool But apparently +she had to meet a knight and not a pawn. + +She was hardly aware of taking counsel with herself; and +the way she abandoned her hesitations, and what Janet +was inwardly calling her Burne-Jonesisms, had all the +effect of an access of unconsciousness. Janet Cardiff +watched it with delight. "But why," she asked herself in +wonder, "should she have been so affected--if it was +affectation--with _me?_" She would decide whether it was +or was not afterward, she thought. Meanwhile she was glad +her father had thought of saying something nice about the +art criticism in the _Decade_; he was putting it so much +better than she could, and it would do for both of them. + +"You paint yourself, I fancy?" Mr. Cardiff was saying +lightly. There was no answer for an instant, or perhaps +three. Elfrida was looking down. Presently she raised +her eyes, and they were larger than ever, and wet. + +"No," she said, a little tensely. "I have tried" +--"trr-hied," she pronounced it--"but--but I cannot." + +Lawrence Cardiff looked at his teaspoon in a considering +way, and Janet reflected, not without indignation, that +this was the manner in which people who cared for them +might be expected to speak of the dead. But Elfrida cut +short the reflection by turning to her brightly. "When +Mr. Cardiff came in," she said, "you were telling me why +a Daudet could not write about the English. It was +something about Sapho--" + +Mr. Cardiff looked up curiously, and Janet, glancing in +her father's direction, reddened. Did this strange young +woman not realize that it was impossible to discuss beings +like "Sapho" with one's father in the room? Apparently +not, for she went on: "It seems to me it is the exception +in that class, as in all classes, that rewards interest--" + +That rewards interest? What might she not say next! + +"Yes," interrupted Janet desperately, "but then my father +came in and changed the subject of our conversation. +Where are you living, Miss Bell?" + +"Near Fleet Street," said Elfrida, rising. "I find the +locality most interesting, when I can see it. I can +patronize the Roman baths, and lunch at Dr. Johnson's +pet tavern, and attend service in the church of the real +Templars if I like. It is delightful. I did go to the +Temple Church a fortnight ago," she added, "and I saw +such a horrible thing that I am not sure that I will go +again. There is a beautiful old Crusader lying there in +stone, and on his feet a man who sat near had hung his +silk hat. And nobody interfered. Why do you laugh?" + +When she had fairly gone Lawrence and Janet Cardiff looked +at each other and smiled. "Well!" cried Janet, "it's a +find, isn't it, daddy?" + +Her father shrugged his shoulders. His manner said that +he was not pleased, but Janet found a tone in his voice +that told her the impression of Elfrida had not been +altogether distasteful. + +"_Fin de siecle_," he said. + +"Perhaps," Janet answered, looking out of the window, "a +little _fin de siecle_." + +"Did you notice," asked Lawrence Cardiff, "that she didn't +tell you where she was living?" + +"Didn't she? Neither she did. But we can easily find out +from John Kendal." + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +Kendal hardly admitted to himself that his acquaintance +with Elfrida had gone beyond the point of impartial +observation. The proof of its impartiality, if he had +thought of seeking it, would have appeared to him to lie +in the fact that he found her, in her personality, her +ideas, and her effects, to be damaged by London. The +conventionality--Kendal's careless generalization +preferred a broad term--of the place made her extreme +in every way, and it had recently come to be a conclusion +with him that English conventionality, in moderation, +was not wholly to be smiled at. Returning to it, its +protectiveness had impressed him strongly, and he had a +comforting sense of the responsibility it imposed upon +society. Paris and the Quartier stood out against it in +his mind like something full of light and color and +transient passion on the stage--something to be remembered +with recurrent thrills of keen satisfaction and to be +seen again. It had been more than this, he acknowledged, +for he had brought out of it an element that lightened +his life and vitalized his work, and gave an element of +joyousness to his imagination--it was certain that he +would go back there. And Miss Bell had been in it and +of it--so much in it and of it that he felt impatient +with her for permitting herself to be herself in any +other environment. He asked himself why she could not +see that she was crudely at variance with all color and +atmosphere and law in her present one, and he speculated +as to the propriety of telling her so, of advising her +outright as to the expediency in her own interest, of +being other than herself in London. That was what it +came to, he reflected in deciding that he could not--if +the girl's convictions and motives and aims were real; +and he was beginning to think they were real. And although +he had found himself at liberty to say to her things that +were harder to hear, he felt a curious repugnance to +giving her any inkling of what he thought about this. +It would be a hideous thing to do, he concluded, an +unforgivable thing, and an actual hurt. Kendal had for +women the readiest consideration, and though one of the +odd things he found in Elfrida was the slight degree to +which she evoked it in him, he recoiled instinctively +from any reasoned action which would distress her. But +his sense of her inconsistency with British institutions +--at least he fancied it was that--led him to discourage +somewhat, in the lightest way, Miss Halifax's interested +inquiries about her. The inquiries suggested dimly that +eccentricity and obscurity might be overlooked in any +one whose personality really had a value for Mr. Kendal, +and made an attempt, which was heroic considering the +delicacy of Miss Halifax's scruples, to measure his +appreciation of Miss Bell as a writer--to Miss Halifax +the word wore a halo--and as an individual. If she did +not succeed it was partly because he had not himself +quite decided whether Elfrida, in London, was delightful +or intolerable, and partly because he had no desire to +be complicated in social relations which, he told himself, +must be either ludicrous or insincere. The Halifaxes were +not in any sense literary; their proper pretensions to +that sort of society were buried with Sir William, who +had been editor of the _Brown Quarterly_ in his day, and +many other things. They had inherited his friends as they +had inherited his manuscripts; and in spite of a grievous +inability to edit either of them, they held to one legacy +as fast as to the other. Kendal thought with a somewhat +repelled amusement of any attempt of theirs to assimilate +Elfrida. It was different with the Cardiffs; but even +under their enthusiastic encouragement he was disinclined +to be anything but discreet and cautions about Elfrida. +In one way and another she was, at all events, a young +lady of potentialities, he reflected, and with a view to +their effect among one's friends it might be as well to +understand them. He went so far as to say to himself +that Janet was such a thoroughly nice girl as she was; +and then he smiled inwardly at the thought of how angry +she would be at the idea of his putting any prudish +considerations on her account into the balance against +an interesting acquaintance. He had, nevertheless, a +distinct satisfaction in the fact that it was really +circumstances, in the shape of the _Decade_ article, that +had brought them together, and that he could hardly charge +himself with being more than an irresponsible agent in +the matter. + +Under the influence of such considerations Kendal did +not write to Elfrida at the _Age_ office asking her +address, as he had immediately resolved to do when he +discovered that she had gone away without telling him +where he might find her. It seemed to him that he could +not very well see her at her lodgings. And the pleasure +of coming upon her suddenly as she closed the door of +the _Age_ behind her and stepped out into Fleet Street +a fortnight later overcame him too quickly to permit him +to reflect that he was yielding to an opposite impulse +in asking her to dine with him at Baliero's, as they +might have done in Paris. It was an unlooked-for +opportunity, and it roused a desire which he had not +lately been calculating upon--a desire to talk with her +about all sorts of things, to feel the exhilaration of +her artistic single-mindedness, to find out more about +her, to guess at the meanings behind her eyes. If any +privileged cynic had taken the chance to ask him whether +he found her eyes expressive of purely abstract +significance, Kendal would have answered affirmatively +in all honesty. And he would have added a confession of +his curiosity to discover what she was capable of, if +she was capable of anything--which he considered legitimate +enough. At the moment, however, he had no time to think +of anything but an inducement, and he dashed through +whole pickets of scruples to find one. "They give one +such capital strawberry ices at Baliero's," he begged +her to believe. His resolutions did not even reassert +themselves when she refused. He was conscious only that +it was a bore that she should refuse, and very inconsistent; +hadn't she often dined with him at the Cafe Florian? His +gratification was considerable when she added, "They +smoke there, you know," and, it became obvious, by whatever +curious process of reasoning she arrived at it, that it +was Baliero's restaurant she objected to, and not his +society. + +"Well," he urged, "there are plenty of places where they +don't smoke, though it didn't occur to me that--" + +"Oh," she laughed; "but you must allow it to occur to +you," and she put her finger on her lip. Considering +their solitariness in the crowd, he thought, there was +no reason why he should not say that he was under the +impression she liked the smell of tobacco. + +"There are other places," she went on. "There is a sweet +little green-and-white place like a dairy in Oxford +Street, that calls itself the 'Hyacinth,' which is sacred +to ladies and to gentlemen properly chaperoned. If you +would invite me to dine with you there I should like it +very much." + +"Anywhere," he said. He accepted her proposal to dine at +the "Hyacinth" with the same unquestioning pleasure which +he would have had in accepting her proposal to dine at +the top of the Monument that evening; but he felt an +under perplexity at its terms, which was vaguely disturbing. +How could it possibly matter? Did she suppose that she +advanced palpably nearer to the proprieties in dining +with him in one place rather than the other? There was +an unreasonableness about that which irritated him. + +He felt it more distinctly when she proposed taking an +omnibus instead of the cab he had signalled. "Oh, of +course, if you prefer it," he said; and there was almost +a trace of injured feeling in his voice. It was so much +easier to talk in a cab. + +He lost his apprehensions presently, for it became obvious +to him that this was only a mood, coming, as he said to +himself devoutly, from the Lord knew what combination of +circumstances--he would think that out afterward--but +making Elfrida none the less agreeable while it lasted. +Under its influence she kept away from all the matters +she was fondest of discussing with that extraordinary +candor and startling equity of hers, and talked to him +with a pretty cleverness, about commonplaces of sorts +arising out of the day's news, the shops, the weather. +She treated them all with a gaiety that made her face a +fascinating study while she talked, and pointed them, as +it were, with all the little poises and expressions and +reserves which are commonly a feminine result of +considerable social training. Kendal, entering into her +whim, inwardly compared her with an acknowledged successful +girl of the season with whom he had sat out two dances +the night before in Eaton Square, to the successful girl's +disadvantage. Finding something lacking in that, he came +upon a better analogy in a young married lady of the +diplomatic circle, who had lately been dipping the third +finger of her left hand into politics with the effect of +considerably increasing her note. This struck him as +satisfactory, and he enjoyed finding completion for his +parallel wherever her words and gestures offered it. He +took her at the wish she implied, and eddied with her +around the pool which some counter-current of her nature +had made for the hour in its stream, pleasantly enough. +He made one attempt, as Elfrida unbuttoned her gloves at +their little table at the "Hyacinth," to get her to talk +about her work for the _Age_. + +"Please, _please_ don't mention that," she said. "It is +too revolting. You don't know how it makes me suffer." + +A moment later she returned to it of her own accord, +however. "It is absurd to try to exact pledges from +people," she said, "but I should really be happier +--_much_ happier--if you would promise me something." + +"'By Heaven, I will promise _any_ thing!'" Kendal quoted, +laughing, from a poet much in vogue. + +"Only this--I hope I am not selfish--" she hesitated; +"but I think--yes, I think I must be selfish here. It is +that you will never read the _Age_." + +"I never do," leapt to his lips, but he stopped it in +time. "And why!" he asked instead. + +"Ah, you know why! It is because you might recognize my +work in it--by accident you might--and that would be so +painful to me. It is _not_ my best--please believe it is +not my best!" + +"On one condition I promise," he said: "that when you do +your best you will tell me where to find it" + +She looked at him gravely and considered. As she did so +it seemed to Kendal that she was regarding his whole +moral, mental, and material nature. He could almost see +it reflected in the glass of her great dark eyes. +"Certainly, yes. That is fair--if you really and truly +care to see it. And I don't know," she added, looking up +at him from her soup, "that it matters whether you do or +not, so long as you carefully and accurately pretend that +you do. When my best, my real best, sees the light of +common--" + +"Type," he suggested. + +"Type," she repeated unsmilingly, "I shall be so insatiate +for criticism--I ought to say praise--that I shall even +go so far as to send you a marked copy, very plainly +marked, with blue pencil. Already," she smiled with a +charming effect of assertiveness, "I have bought the blue +pencil." + +"Will it come soon?" Kendal asked seriously. + +"_Cher ami_," Elfrida said, drawing her handsome brows +together a little, "it will come sooner than you expect +That is what I want," she went on deliberately, "more +than anything else in the whole world, to do things +--_good_ things, you understand--and to have them +appreciated and paid for in the admiration of people who +feel and see and know. For me life has nothing else, +except the things that other people do, better and worse +than mine." + +"Better and worse than yours," Kendal repeated. "Can't +you think of them apart?" + +"No, I can't," Elfrida interrupted; "I've tried, and I +can _not_. I know it's a weakness--at least I'm half +persuaded that it is--but I must have the personal standard +in everything." + +"But you are a hero-worshipper; often I have seen you +at it." + +"Yes," she said cynically, while the white-capped maid +who handed Kendal asparagus stared at her with a curiosity +few of the Hyacinth's lady diners inspired, "and when I +look into that I find it is because of a secret +consciousness that tells me that I, in the hero's place, +should have done just the same thing. Or else it is +because of the gratification my vanity finds in my sympathy +with his work, whatever it is. Oh, it is no special +virtue, my kind of hero-worship." The girl looked across +at Kendal and laughed a bright, frank laugh, in which +was no discontent with what she had been telling him. + +"You are candid," Kendal said. + +"Oh yes, I'm candid. I don't mind lying for a noble end, +but it isn't a noble end to deceive one's self." + +"'Oh, purblind race of miserable men--'" Kendal began +lightly, but she stopped him. + +"Don't!" she cried. "Nothing spoils conversation like +quotations. Besides, that's such a trite one; I learned +it at school." + +But Kendal's offence was clearly in his manner. It seemed +to Elfrida that he would never sincerely consider what +she had to say about herself. She went on softly, holding +him with her eyes: "You may find me a simple creature--" + +"_A propos_," laughed Kendal easily, "what is this +particular noble end?" + +"Bah!" she said, "you are right It was a lie, and it had +no end at all. I am complex enough, I dare say. But this +is true, that my egotism is like a little flame within +me. All the best things feed it, and it is so clear that +I see everything in its light. To me it is most dear +and valuable, it simplifies things so. I assure you I +wouldn't be one of the sloppy, unselfish people the world +is full of for anything." + +"As a source of gratification isn't it rather limited?" +Kendal asked. He was thinking of the extra drop of nervous +fluid in Americans that he had been reading about in the +afternoon, and wondering if it often had this development. + +"I don't quite know what you mean," Elfrida returned. +"It isn't a source of gratification, it's a channel. And +it intensifies everything so that I don't care how little +comes that way. If there's anything of me left when I +die it will be that little fierce flame. And when I do +the tiniest thing, write the shortest sentence that rings +_true_, see a beauty or a joy which the common herd pass +by, I have my whole life in the flame, and it becomes my +soul--I'm sure I have no other! + +"When you say that there is no real pleasure in the world +that does not come through art," Elfrida went on again, +widening her eyes seriously, "don't you feel as if you +were uttering something religious--part of a creed--as +the Mussulman feels when he says there is no God but one +God, and Mohammed is his prophet? I do." + +"I never say it," Kendal returned, with a smile. "Does +that make me out a Philistine, or a Hindu, or what?" + +"_You_ a Philistine!" Elfrida cried, as they rose from +the little table. "You are saying a thing that is absolutely +wicked." + +Her quasi-conventional mood had vanished completely, and +as they drove together in a hansom through the mysterious +movement of the lamp-lit London streets, toward her +lodgings, she plunged enjoyingly into certain theories +of her religion, which embraced Arnold and Aristotle and +did not exclude Mr. Whistler, and made wide, ineffectual, +and presumptuous grasps to include all beauty and all +faith. She threw handfuls of the foam of these things at +Kendal, who watched them vanish into the air with pleasure, +and asked if he might smoke. At which she reflected, +deciding that for the present he might not, but when they +reached her lodgings she would permit him to renew his +acquaintance with Buddha, and give him a cigarette. + +During the hour they smoked and talked together Elfrida +was wholly delightful, and only one thing occurred to +mar the enjoyment of the evening as Kendal remembered +it. That was Mr. Golightly Ticke, who came up and smoked +too, and seemed to have an extraordinary familiarity, +for such an utterly impossible person, with Miss Bell's +literary engagements. On his way home Kendal reflected +that it was doubtless a question of time; she would take +to the customs of civilization by degrees, and the sooner +the better. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +Shortly afterward Elfrida read Mr. Pater's "Marius," with +what she herself called, somewhat extravagantly, a "hungry +and hopeless" delight. I cannot say that this Oxonian's +tender classical recreation had any critical effect upon +her; she probably found it much too limpid and untroubled +to move her in the least. I mention it by way of saying +that Lawrence Cardiff lent it to her, with a smile of +half-indulgent, half-contemptuous assent to some of her +ideas, which was altered, when she returned the volumes, +by the active necessity of defending his own. Elfrida +had been accepted at the Cardiffs, with the ready tolerance +which they had for types that were remarkable to them, +and not entirely disagreeable; though Janet was always +telling her father that it was impossible that Elfrida +should be a type--she was an exception of the most +exceptionable sort. "I'll admit her to be abnormal, if +you like," Cardiff would return, "but only from an insular +point of view. I dare say they grow that way in Illinois." +But that was in the early stages of their acquaintance +with Miss Bell, which ripened with unprecedented rapidity +for an acquaintance in Kensington Square. It was before +Janet had taken to walking across the gardens with Elfrida +in the half-hour between tea-time and dressing for dinner, +when the two young women, sometimes under dripping +umbrellas, would let the right omnibus follow the wrong +one toward Fleet Street twice and thrice in their +disinclination to postpone what they had to say to each +other. It was also before Elfrida's invasion of the +library and fee-simple of the books, and before she had +said there many things that were original, some that were +impertinent, and a few that were true. The Cardiffs +discussed her less freely as the weeks went on--a sure +sign that she was becoming better liked, accepted less +as a phenomenon, and more as a friend. There grew up in +Janet the beginnings of the strong affection which she +felt for a very few people, an affection which invariably +mingled itself with a lively desire to bestir herself on +their account, to be fully informed as to their +circumstances, and above all to possess relations of +absolute directness with them. She had an imperious +successful strain which insisted upon all this. She was +a capable creature of much perception for twenty-four, +and she had a sense of injury when for any reason she +was not allowed to use her faculties for the benefit of +any one she liked in a way which excited the desire to +do it. Janet had to reproach herself, when she thought +of it, that this sort of liking seldom came by entirely +approved channels, and hardly ever found an object in +her visiting-list. Its first and almost its only essential, +to speak boldly, was an artistic susceptibility with some +sort of relation to her own, which her visiting-list did +not often supply, though it might have been said to +overflow with more widely recognized virtues. For that +Miss Cardiff was known to be willing to sacrifice the +Thirty-nine Articles, respectable antecedents, the +possession of a dress-coat. Her willingness was the more +widely known because in the circle which fate had drawn +around her--ironically, she sometimes thought--it was +not usual to sacrifice these things. As for Janet's own +artistic susceptibility, it was a very private atmosphere +of her soul. She breathed it, one might say, only +occasionally, and with a kind of delicious shame. She +was incapable of sharing her caught-up felicity there +with any one, but it was indispensable that she should +see it sometimes in the eyes of others less contained, +less conscious, whose sense of humor might be more slender +perhaps. Her own nature was practical and managing in +its ordinary aspect, and she had a degree of tact that +was always interfering with her love of honesty. Having +established a friendship by the arbitrary law of sympathy, +it must be admitted that she had an instinctive way of +trying to strengthen it by voluntary benefits, for +affection was a great need with her. + +It was only about this time and very gradually that she +began to realize how much more she cared for John Kendal +than for other people. Since it seemed to be obvious +that Kendal gave her only a share of the affectionate +interest he had for humanity at large, the realization +was not wholly agreeable, and Janet doubtless found +Elfrida, on this account, even a more valuable distraction +than she otherwise would. One of the matters Miss Bell +was in the habit of discussing with some vivacity was +the sexlessness of artistic sympathy. Upon this subject +Janet found her quite inspired. She made a valiant effort +to illumine her thoughts of Kendal by the light Elfrida +threw upon such matters, and although she had to confess +that the future was still hid in embarrassed darkness, +she did manage to construct a theory by which it was +possible to grope along for the present. She also cherished +a hope that this trouble would leave her, as a fever +abates in the night, that she would awake some morning, +if she only had patience, strong and well. In other things +Miss Cardiff, was sometimes jarred rather than shocked +by the American girl's mental attitudes, which, she began +to find, were not so posed as her physical ones. Elfrida +often left her repelled and dissenting. The dissent she +showed vigorously; the repulsion she concealed, sore with +herself because of the concealment. But she could not +lose Elfrida, she told herself; and besides, it was only +a matter of a little tolerance--time and life would change +her, tone her inner self down into the something altogether +exquisite and perfect that she was, to look at, now. + +Elfrida called the Cardiffs' house the oasis of Kensington, +and valued her privileges there more than she valued +anything else in the circumstances about her, except, +perhaps, the privilege she had enjoyed in making the +single contribution, to the _Decade_ of which we know. +That was an event lustrous in her memory, the more lustrous +because it remained solitary and when the editor's check +made its tardy appearance she longed to keep it as a +glorious archive--glorious that is to say, in suggestion, +if not particularly impressive intrinsically. In the end +she fought the temptation of giving herself a dinner a +day for a fortnight out of it, and bought a slender gold +bangle with the money, which she slipped upon her wrist +with a resolution to keep it there always. It must be +believed that her personal decoration did not enter +materially into this design; the bangle was an emblem of +one success and an earnest of others. She wore it as she +might have worn a medal, except that a medal was a public +voice, and the little gold hoop spoke only to her. + +After the triumph that the bangle signified Elfrida felt +most satisfaction in what was constantly present to her +mind as her conquest of the Cardiffs. She measured its +importance by their value. Her admiration for Janet's +work in the beginning had been as sincere as her emulation +of its degree of excellence had been passionate, and +neither feeling had diminished with their intimacy. In +Lawrence Cardiff she felt vaguely the qualities that made +him a marked man among his fellows, his intellectual +breadth and keenness, his poise of brain, if one might +call it so, and the _habilete_ with which, without +permitting it to be part of his character, he sometimes +allowed himself to charm even people of whom he disapproved. +These things were indeterminately present to her, and +led her often to speculate as to how it was that Mr. +Cardiff's work expressed him so little. It seemed to her +that the one purpose of a personality like his was its +expression--otherwise one might as well be of the ruck. +"You write with your intellectual faculties," she said to +him once; "your soul is curiously dumb." But that was later. + +The plane of Elfrida's relations with Janet altered +gradually, one might say, from the inclined, with Elfrida +on her knees at the lower end, to the horizontal. It +changed insensibly enough, through the freemasonry of +confessed and unconfessed ideals, through growing +attraction, through the feeling they shared, though only +Janet voiced it, that there was nothing but the +opportunities and the experience of four years between +them, that in the end Elfrida would do better, stronger, +more original work than she. Elfrida was so much more +original a person, Janet declared to herself, so--and +when she hesitated for this word she usually said +"enigmatical." The answer to the enigma, Janet was sure, +would be written large in publishers' advertisements one +day. In the meantime, it was a vast satisfaction to Janet +to be, as it were, behind the enigma, to consider it with +the privileges of intimacy. These young women felt their +friendship deeply, in their several ways. It held for +them all sacredness and honor and obligation. For Elfrida +it had an intrinsic beauty and interest, like a curio +--she had half a dozen such curios in the museum of her +friends--and for Janet it added something to existence +that was not there before, more delightful and important +than a mere opportunity of expansion. The time came +speedily when it would have been a positive pain to either +of them to hear the other discussed, however favorably. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Lady Halifax and her daughter had met Miss Bell several +times at the Cardiffs', in a casual way, before it occurred +to either of them to take any sort of advantage of the +acquaintance. The younger lady had a shivering and +frightened delight in occasionally wading ankle-deep in +unconventionality, but she had-lively recollections, in +connection with the Cardiffs, of having been very nearly +taken off her feet. They had since decided that it was +more discreet to ignore Janet's enthusiasms, which were +sometimes quite impossible in their verdict, and always +improbable. The literary ladies and gentlemen whom the +ghost of the departed Sir William brought more or less +unwillingly to Lady Halifax's drawing-rooms were all of +unexceptionable _cachet_; the Halifaxes were constantly +seeing paragraphs about them in the "Literary Gossip" +department of the _Athenian_, mentioning their state of +health, their retirement from scientific appointments, +or the fact that their most recent work of fiction had +reached its fourth edition. Lady Halifax always read the +_Athenian_, even the publishers' announcements; she liked +to keep "in touch," she said, with the literary activities +of the day, and it gave her a special gratification to +notice the prosperity of her writing friends indicated +in tall figures. Miss Halifax read it too, but she liked +the "Art Notes" best; it was a matter of complaint with +her that the house was not more open to artists--new, +original artists like John Kendal. In answer to this +Lady Halifax had a habit of stating that she did not see +what more they could possibly want than the president of +the Royal Academy and the one or two others that came +already. As for John Kendal, he was certainly new and +original, but he was respectable notwithstanding; they +could be certain that he was not putting his originality +on--with a hearth-brush, for the sake of advertisement. +Lady Halifax was not so sure of Elfrida's originality, +of which she had been given a glimpse or two at first, +and which the girl's intimacy with the Cardiffs would +have presupposed in any case. But presently, and somewhat +to Lady Halifax's perplexity, Miss Bell's originality +disappeared. It seemed to melt into the azure of perfect +good-breeding, flecked by little clouds of gay sayings +and politenesses, whenever chance brought her under Lady +Halifax's observation. A not unreasonable solution of +the problem might have been found in Elfrida's instinctive +objection to casting her pearls where they are proverbially +unappreciated, and the necessity in her nature of pleasing +herself by one form of agreeable behavior if not by +another. Lady Halifax, however, ascribed it to the +improving influence of insular institutions, and finally +concluded that it ought to be followed up. + +Elfrida wore amber and white the evening on which Lady +Halifax followed it up--a Parisian modification of a +design carried, out originally by the Sparta dressmaker, +with a degree of hysteria, under Miss Bell's direction. +She wore it with a touch of unusual color in her cheeks +and, an added light in her dark eyes that gave a winsomeness +to her beauty which it had not always. A cunningly bound +spray of yellow-stamened lilies followed the curving line +of her low-necked dress, ending in a cluster in her bosom; +the glossy little leaves of the smilax the florist had +wreathed in with them stood sharply against the whiteness +of her neck. Her hair was massed at the back of her head +simply and girlishly enough, and its fluffiness about +her forehead made a sweet shadow above her eyes. She had +a little fever of expectation, Janet had talked so much +about this reception. Janet had told her that the real +thing, the real English literary thing in numberless +volumes, would be on view at Lady Halifax's. Miss Cardiff +had mentioned this in their discussion of the Arcadia +Club, at which institution she had scoffed so unbearably +that Elfrida, while she cherished the memory of Georgiadi, +had not mentioned it since. Perhaps, after all, she +reflected, Janet was just a trifle blind where people +were not hall-marked. It did not occur to her to consider +how far she herself illustrated this theory. + +But as she went down Mrs. Jordan's narrow flights of +stairs covered with worn oil-cloth, she kissed her own +soft arm for pure pleasure. + +"You are ravishing to-night," she told herself. + +Golightly Ticke's door was open, and he was standing in +it, picturesquely smoking a cigarette with the candle +burning behind him--"Just to see you pass," he said. + +Elfrida paused and threw back her cloak. "How is it?" +she asked, posing for him with its folds gathered in +either hand. + +Ticke scanned her with leisurely appreciation. "It is +exquisite," he articulated. + +Elfrida gave him a look that might have intoxicated nerves +less accustomed to dramatic effects. + +"Then whistle me a cab," she said. + +Mr. Ticke whistled her a cab and put her into it. There +was the least pressure of his long fingers as he took +her hand, and Elfrida forbade herself to resent it. She +felt her own beauty so much that night that she could +not complain of an enthusiasm for it in such a _belle +ame_ as Golightly. + +They went up to tie drawing-room together, if Elfrida +and the Cardiffs, and Lady Halifax immediately introduced +to Miss Bell a hollow-cheeked gentleman with a long gray +beard and bushy eyebrows as a fellow-countryman. "You +can compare your impressions of Hyde Park and St. Paul's," +said Lady Halifax, "but _don't_ call us 'Britishers.' It +really isn't pretty of you." + +Elfrida discovered that the bearded gentleman was principal +of a college in Florida, and corresponded regularly at +one time with the late Sir William. "It is to that," said +he ornately, "that I owe the honor of joining this +brilliant company to-night." He went on to state that he +was over there principally on account of his health--acute +dyspepsia he had, it seemed he'd got out of running order +generally, regularly off the track. "But I've just about +concluded," he continued, with a pathetic twinkle under +his bushy brows, "that I might have a worse reason for +going back. What do you think of the meals in Victoria's +country, Miss Bell? It seems to me sometimes that I'd +give the whole British Museum for a piece of Johnny-cake." + +Elfrida reflected that this was not precisely what she +expected to experience, and presently the hollow-cheeked +Floridian was again at Lady Halifax's elbow for disposal, +while the young lady whose appearance and nationality +had given him so much room for hope smilingly drifted +away from him. The Cardiffs were talking to a rosy and +smooth-faced round-waistcoated gentleman just returned +from Siberia about the unfortunate combination of accidents +by which he lost the mail-train twice in three days, and +Janet had just shaken hands with a short and +cheerful-looking lady astrologist. + +"Behind that large person in the heliotrope brocade--she's +the wife of the _Daily Mercury_--there's a small sofa," +Janet said in an undertone. "I don't think she'll, occupy +it, the-brocade looks so much, better standing--no, there +she goes! Let us sit down." As they crossed the room +Janet added: "In another minute we should have been shut +up in a Russian prison. Daddy's incarcerated already. +And the man told all he knew about them in the public +prints a month ago." They sat down luxuriously together, +and made ready, in their palm-shaded corner, to wreak +the whole of their irresponsible youth upon Lady Halifax's +often venerable and always considerable guests. The warm +atmosphere of the room had the perceptible charge of +personalities. People in almost every part of it were +trying to look unconscious as they pointed out other +people. + +"Tell me about everybody--everybody," said Elfrida. + +"H'm! I don't see anybody, that _is_ anybody, at this +moment. Oh, there's Sir Bradford Barker. Regard him +well, for a brave soul is Sir Bradford, Frida mine." + +"A soldier? At this end of the century one can't feel an +enthusiasm for killing." + +"Not in the least. A member of Parliament who writes +verses and won't be intimidated by Punch into not publishing +them. And the man he is talking to has just done a history +of the Semitic nations. He took me down to dinner last +night, and we talked in the most intelligent manner about +the various ways of preparing crabs. He liked them in +five styles; I wouldn't subscribe to more than three. +That little man with the orchid that daddy has just seized +is the author of the last of the 'Rulers of India' +series--Sir Somebody Something, K.C.S.I. My unconscionable +humbug of a parent probably wants to get something +approaching a fact out of him. Daddy's writing a thing +for one of the reviews on the elective principle for +India this week. He says he's the only writer on Indian +subjects who isn't disqualified by ever having been there, +and is consequently quite free of prejudice." + +"Ah!" said Elfrida, "how _banal!_ I thought you said +there would be something real here--somebody in whose +garment's hem there would be virtue." + +"And I suggest the dress-coat of the historian of the +Semitic nations!" Janet laughed. "Well, if nearly all +our poets are dead and our novelists in the colonies, I +can't help it, can I! Here is Mr. Kendal, at all events." + +Kendal came up, with his perfect manners, and immediately +it seemed to Elfrida that their little group became +distinct from the rest, more important, more worthy of +observation. Kendal never added anything to the unities +of their conversation when he joined these two; he seemed +rather to break up what they had to say to each other +and attract it to himself. He always gave an accent to +the life and energy of their talk; but he made them both +self-conscious and watchful--seemed to put them, as it +were, upon their guard against one another, in a way +which Janet found vaguely distressing. It was invariably +as if Kendal turned their intercourse into a joust by +his mere presence as spectator; as if--Janet put it +plainly to herself, reddening--they mutely asked him to +bestow the wreath on one of them. She almost made up her +mind to ask Elfrida where their understanding went to +when John Kendal came up, but she had not found it possible +yet. There was an embarrassing chance that Elfrida did +not feel their change of attitude, which would entail +nameless surmises. + +"You ought to be at work," Janet said severely to Kendal, +"back at Barbizon or in the fields somewhere. It won't +be always June." + +"Ah, would you banish him!" Elfrida exclaimed daintily. +"Surely Hyde Park is rustic enough--in June." + +Kendal smiled into her face. "It combines all the charm +of the country," he began. + +"And the chic of the town," Elfrida finished for him +gaily. "I know--I've seen the Boot Show." + +"Extremely frivolous," Janet commented. + +"Ah, now we are condemned!" Elfrida answered, and for an +instant it almost seemed as if it were so. + +"Daddy wants you to go and paint straggling gray stone +villages in Scotland now--straggling, climbing gray stone +villages with only a bit of blue at the end of the 'Dead +Wynd' where it turns into the churchyard gate." + +"How charming!" Elfrida exclaimed. + +"I suppose he has been saturating himself with Barrie," +Kendal said. "If I could reproduce Barrie on canvas, I'd +go, like a shot. By the way, Miss Bell, there's somebody +you are, interested in--do you see a middle-aged man, +rather bald, thick-set, coming this way?--George Jasper." + +"Really!" Elfrida exclaimed, jumping to her feet "Oh, +_thank_ you! The most consummate artist in human nature +that the time has given!" she added, with intensity. +"There can be no question. Oh, I am so happy to have seen +him!" + +"I'm not altogether sure," Kendal began, and then he +stopped, looking at Janet in astonished question. Elfrida +had taken half a dozen steps into the middle of the room, +steps so instinct with effect that already as many heads +were turned to look at her. Her eyes were large with +excitement, her cheeks flushed, and she bent her head a +little, almost as if to see nothing that might dissuade +her from her purpose. The author of "The Alien," "A +Moral Catastrophe," "Her Disciple," and a number of other +volumes which cause envy and heart-burnings among +publishers, in the course of his somewhat short-sighted +progress across the room, paused with a confused effort +to remember who this pretty girl might be who wanted to +speak to him. + +Elfrida said, "Pardon me!" and Mr. Jasper instantly +perceived that there could be no question of that, with +her face. She was holding out her hand, and he took it +with absolute mystification. Elfrida had turned very +pale, and a dozen people were listening. "Give me the +right to say I have done this!" she said, looking at him +with shy bravery in her beautiful eyes. She half sank on +one knee and lifted the hand that wrote "A Moral +Catastrophe" to her lips. + +Mr. Jasper repossessed himself of it rather too hastily +for dignity, and inwardly he expressed his, feelings by +a puzzled oath. Outwardly he looked somewhat ashamed of +having inspired this unknown young lady's enthusiasm, +but he did his confused best, on the spur of the moment, +to carry off the situation as one of the contingencies +'to which the semi-public life of a popular novelist is +always subject. + +"Really, you are--much too good. I can't imagine--if +the case had been reversed--" + +Mr. Jasper found himself, accustomed as he was to the +exigencies of London drawing-rooms, horribly in want of +words. And in the bow with which he further defined his +discomfort he added to it by dropping the bit of stephanotis +which he wore in his buttonhole. + +Elfrida sprang to pick it up. "Oh," she cried, "broken at +the stem; see, you cannot wear it anymore. May I keep it?" + +A deadly silence had been widening around them, and now +the daughter of the historian of the Semitic races broke +it by twittering into a laugh behind her fan. Janet met +Kendal's eyes instinctively; he was burning red, and his +manner was eloquent of his helplessness. Angry with +herself for having waited, so long, Janet joined Elfrida +just as the twitter made itself heard, and Mr. Jasper's +face began to stiffen with indignation. + +"Ah, Miss Cardiff," he said with relief, "how do you do! +The rooms are rather warm, don't you think?" + +"I want to introduce you to my Am--my very great friend, +Miss Bell, Mr. Jasper," Janet said quickly, as the buzz +of conversation began again about them. + +Elfrida turned to her reproachfully. "If I had known it +was at all possible that you would do _that_," she said, +"I might have--waited. But I did not know." + +People were still looking at them with curious +attentiveness; they were awkwardly solitary. Kendal in +his corner was asking himself how she could have struck +such a false note--and of all people Jasper, whose polished +work held no trace of his personality, whose pleasure it +was to have no public entity whatever. As Jasper moved +off almost immediately, Kendal saw his tacit discomfort +in the set of his shoulders, and so sure was he of +Elfrida's embarrassment that he himself slipped away to +avoid adding to it. + +"It was all wrong and ridiculous, and she was mad to do +it," thought Janet as she drove home with her father; +"but why need John Kendal have blushed for her?" + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +"I am sure you are enjoying it," said Elfrida. + +"Yes," Miss Kimpsey returned. "It's a great treat--it's +a _very_ great treat. Everything surpasses my expectations, +everything is older and blacker and more interesting than +I looked for. And I must say we're getting over a great +deal in the time. Yesterday afternoon we did the entire +Tower. It _did_ give one an idea. But of course you know +every stone in it by now!" + +"I'm afraid I've not seen it," Elfrida confessed gravely. +"I know it's shocking of me." + +"You haven't visited the Tower! Doesn't that show how +benumbing opportunity is to the energies! Now I dare say +that I," Miss Kimpsey went on with gratification, "coming +over with a party of tourists from our State, all bound +to get London and the cathedral towns and the lakes and +Scotland and Paris and Switzerland into the summer +vacation--I presume I may have seen more of the London +sights than you have, Miss Bell." As Miss Kimpsey spoke +she realized that she had had no intention of calling +Elfrida "Miss Bell" when she saw her again, and wondered +why she did it. "But you ought to be fond of sight-seeing, +too," she added, "with your artistic nature." + +Elfrida seemed to restrain a smile. "I don't know that +I am," she said. "I'm sorry that you didn't leave my +mother so well as she ought to be. She hasn't mentioned +it in her letters." In the course of time Miss Bell's +correspondence with her parents had duly re-established +itself. + +"She _wouldn't_, Elf--Miss Bell. She was afraid of +suggesting the obligation to come home to you. She said +with your artistic conscience you couldn't come, and it +would only be inflicting unnecessary pain upon you. But +her bronchitis was no light matter last February. She +was real sick." + +"My mother is always so considerate," Elfrida answered, +reddening, with composed lips. "She is better now, I +think you said." + +"Oh yes, she's some better. I heard from her last week, +and she says she doesn't know how to wait to see me back. +That's on your account, of course. Well, I can tell her +you appear comfortable," Miss Kimpsey looked around, "if +I _can't_ tell her exactly when you'll be home." + +"That is so doubtful, just now--" + +"They're introducing drawing from casts in the High +School," Miss Kimpsey went on, with a note of urgency in +her little twanging voice, "and Mrs. Bell told me I +might just mention it to you. She thinks you could easily +get taken on to teach it. I just dropped round to one or +two of the principal trustees the day before I left, and +they said you had only to apply. It's seven hundred +dollars a year." + +Elfrida's eyebrows contracted. "Thanks very much! It was +extremely kind--to go to so much trouble. But I have +decided that I am not meant to be an artist, Miss Kimpsey," +she said with a self-contained smile. "I think my mother +knows that. I--I don't much like talking about it. Do +you find London confusing? I was dreadfully puzzled at +first." + +"I _would_ if I were alone. I'd engage a special +policeman--the policemen _are_ polite, aren't they? But +we keep the party together, you see, to economize time, +so none of us get lost. We all went down Cheapside this +morning and bought umbrellas--two and three apiece. This +is the most reasonable place for umbrellas. But isn't it +ridiculous to pay for apples by the _pound?_ And then +they're not worth eating. This room does smell of tobacco. +I suppose the gentleman in the apartment below smokes a +great deal." + +"I think he does. I'm so sorry. Let me open another +window." + +"Oh, don't mind _me_! I don't object to tobacco, except +on board, ship. But it must be bad to sleep in." + +"Perhaps," said Elfrida sweetly. "And have you no more +news from home for me, Miss Kimpsey?" + +"I don't know as I have. You've heard of the Rev. Mr. +Snider's second marriage to Mrs. Abraham Peeley, of +course. There's a great deal of feeling about it in +Sparta--the first Mrs. Snider was so popular, you know +--and it isn't a full year. People say it isn't the +_marriage_ they object to under such circumstances, +it's--all that goes before," said Miss Kimpsey, with +decorous repression, and Elfrida burst into a peal of +laughter. "Really," she sobbed, "it's too delicious. Poor +Mr. and Mrs. Snider! Do you think people woo with improper +warmth--at that age, Miss Kimpsey?" + +"I don't know anything about it," Miss Kimpsey declared, +with literal truth. "I suppose such things justify +themselves somehow, especially when it's a clergyman. +And of course you know about your mother's idea of coming +over here to settle?" + +"No!" said Elfrida, arrested. "She hasn't mentioned it. +Do they talk of it seriously?" + +"I don't know about _seriously_. Mr. Bell doesn't seem +as if he could make up his mind. He's so fond of Sparta +you know. But Mrs. Bell is just wild to come. She thinks, +of course, of having you to live with them again; and +then she says that on their present income--you will +excuse my referring to your parents' reduced circumstances, +Miss Bell?" + +"Please go on." + +"Your mother considers that Mr. Bell's means would go +further in England than in America. She asked me to make +inquiries; and I must say, judging from the price of +umbrellas and woollen goods, I think they would." + +Elfrida was silent for a moment, looking steadfastly at +the possibility Miss Kimpsey had developed. "What a +complication!" she said, half to herself; and then, +observing Miss Kimpsey's look of astonishment: "I had no +idea of that," she repeated; "I wonder that they have +not mentioned it." + +"Well then!" said Miss Kimpsey, with sudden compunction, +"I presume they wanted to surprise you. And I've gone +and spoiled it!" + +"To surprise me!" Elfrida repeated in her absorption. +"Oh yes; very likely!" Inwardly she saw her garret, the +garret that so exhaled her, where she had tasted success +and knew a happiness that never altogether failed, vanish +into a snug cottage in Hampstead or Surbiton. She saw +the rain of her independence, of her delicious solitariness, +of the life that began and ended in her sense of the +strange, and the beautiful and the grotesque in a world +of curious slaveries, of which it suited her to be an +alien spectator, amused and free. She foresaw long +conflicts and discussions, pryings which she could, not +resent, justifications which would be forced upon her, +obligations which she must not refuse. More intolerable +still, she saw herself in the role of a family idol, the +household happiness hinging on her moods, the question +of her health, her work, her pleasure being eternally +the chief one. Miss Kimpsey talked on about other things +--Windsor Castle, the Abbey, the Queen's stables; and +Elfrida made occasional replies, politely vague. She was +mechanically twisting the little gold hoop on her wrist, +and thinking of the artistic sufferings of a family idol. +Obviously the only thing was to destroy the prospective +shrine. + +"We don't find board as cheap as we expected," Miss +Kimpsey was saying. + +"Living, that is food, is very expensive," Elfrida replied +quickly; "a good beefsteak, for instance, costs three +Francs--I mean two and fivepence, a pound." + +"I _can't_ think in shillings!" Miss Kimpsey interposed +plaintively. + +"And about this idea my people have of coming over +here--I've been living in London four months now, and I +can't quite see your grounds for thinking it cheaper than +Sparta, Miss Kimpsey." + +"Of course you have had time to judge of it." + +"Yes. On the whole I think they would find it more +expensive and much less satisfactory. They would miss +their friends, and their place in the little world over +there. My mother, I know, attaches a good deal of importance +to that. They would have to live very modestly in a +suburb, and all the nice suburbs have their social +relations in town. They wouldn't take the slightest +interest in English institutions; my father is too good +a citizen to make a good subject, and they would find a +great many English ideas very--trying. The only Americans +who are happy in England are the millionaires," Elfrida +answered. "I mean the millionaires who are not too +sensitive." + +"Well now, you've got as sensitive a nature as I know, +Miss Bell, and you don't appear to be miserable over +here." + +"I!" Elfrida frowned just perceptibly. This little creature +who once corrected the punctuation of her essays, and +gave her bad marks for spelling, was too intolerably +personal. "We won't consider my case, if you please. +Perhaps I'm not a good American." + +"Mrs. Bell seems to think she would enjoy the atmosphere +of the past so much in London." + +"It's a fatal atmosphere for asthma. Please impress that +upon my people, Miss Kimpsey. There would be no +justification in letting my mother believe she could be +comfortable here. She must come and experience the, +atmosphere of the past, as you are doing, on a visit. As +soon as it can be afforded I hope they will do that." + +Since the day of her engagement with the _Illustrated +Age_ Elfrida had been writing long, affectionate, and +prettily worded letters to her mother by every American +mail. They were models of sweet elegance, those letters; +they abounded in dainty bits of description and gay +comment, and they reflected as little of the real life +of the girl who wrote them as it is possible to conceive. +In this way they were quite remarkable, and in their +charming discrimination of topics. It was as if Elfrida +dictated that a certain relation should exist between +herself and her parents. It should acknowledge all the +traditions, but it should not be too intimate. They had +no such claim upon her, no such closeness to her, as +Nadie Palicsky, for instance, had. + +When Miss Kimpsey went away that afternoon, trying to +realize the intrinsic reward of virtue--she had been +obliged to give up the National Gallery to make this +visit--Elfrida remembered that the American mail went +out next day, and spent a longer time than usual over +her weekly letter. In its course she mentioned with some +amusement the absurd idea Miss Kimpsey had managed to +absorb of their coming to London to live, and touched in +the lightest possible way upon the considerations that +made such a project impossible. But the greater part of +the letter was taken up with a pleased forecast of the +time--could it possibly be next summer?--when Mr. and +Mrs. Bell would cross the Atlantic on a holiday trip. "I +will be quite an affluent person by then," Elfrida wrote, +"and I will be able to devote the whole of my magnificent +leisure to entertaining you." + +She turned from the sealing of this to answer a, note +from Lawrence Cardiff. He wrote to her, on odds and ends +of matters, almost as often as Janet did now. He wrote +as often, indeed, as he could, and always with an amused, +uncertain expectancy of what the consciously directed +little square envelopes which brought back the reply +would contain. It was becoming obvious to him that they +brought something a little different, in expression or +feeling or suggestion, from the notes that came for Janet, +which Janet often read out for their common benefit. He +was unable to define the difference, but he was aware +that it gave him pleasure, especially as he could not +find that it was in any way connected with the respectful +consideration that Elfrida might have thought due to his +forty-seven years. If Mr. Cardiff had gone so far as to +soliloquize upon the subject he would have said to himself, +"In my trade a man gets too much of that." I do not know +that he did, but the subtle gratification this difference +gave him was quite strong enough, at all events, to lead +to the reflection. The perception of it was growing so +vivid that he instinctively read his notes in silence, +paraphrasing them for Janet if she happened to be there. +They had, as it were, a bloom and a freshness, a mere +perfume of personality that would infallibly vanish in +the communicating, but that left him, as often as not, +when he slipped the note back into the envelope with a +half smile on his lips. + +Janet was conscious of the smile and of the paraphrasing. +In reprisal--though she would not have admitted it was +that--she kept her own missives from Elfrida to herself +whenever it occurred to her to check the generous impulse +of sharing the pleasure they gave her, which was not +often, after all. It was the seldomer because she could +not help feeling that her father was thoroughly aware of +her action, and fancying that he speculated upon the +reason of it. It was unendurable that daddy should +speculate about the reason of anything she did in connection +with Frida, or with any other young lady. Her conduct +was perfectly simple; there was no reason whatever why +it should not be perfectly simple. + +When Miss Kimpsey arrived at Euston Station next day, +with all her company, to take the train For Scotland; +she found Elfrida waiting for her, a picturesque figure +in the hurrying crowd with her hair blown about her face +with the gusts of wind and rain, and her wide dark eyes +looking quietly about her. She had a bunch of azaleas in +her hand, and as Miss Kimpsey was saying with gratification +that Elfrida's coming down to see her off was a thing +she did _not_ expect, Miss Bell offered her these. + +"They will be pleasant in the train perhaps," said she. +"And do you think you could find room for this in one of +your boxes? It isn't very bulky--a trifle I should like +so much to send to my mother, Miss Kimpsey. It might go +by post, I know, but the pleasure will be much greater +to her if you could take it." + +In due course Mrs. Bell received the packet. It contained +a delicate lace head-dress, which cost Elfrida the full +pay and emoluments of a fortnight. Mrs. Bell wore it at +all social gatherings of any importance in Sparta the +following winter, and often reflected with considerable +pleasure upon the taste and unselfishness that so obviously +accompanied the gift. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +If John Kendal had been an on-looker at the little episode +of Lady Halifax's drawing-room in Paris six months earlier +it would have filled him with the purest, amusement. He +would have added the circumstance to his conception of +the type of young woman who enacted it, and turned away +without stopping to consider whether it flattered her or +not. His comprehension of human nature was too catholic +very readily to permit him impressions either of wonder +or contempt--it would have been a matter of registration +and a smile. Realizing this, Kendal was the more at a +loss to explain to himself the feeling of irritation +which the recollection of the scene persistently aroused +in him, in spite of a pronounced disposition, of which +he could not help being aware, not to register it but to +ignore it. His memory refused to be a party to his +intention, and the tableau recurred to him with a +persistence which he found distinctly disagreeable. Upon +every social occasion which brought young ladies of beauty +and middle-aged gentlemen of impressive eminence into +conversational contact he saw the thing in imagination +done again. In the end it suggested itself to him as +paintable--the astonished drawing-room, the graceful +half-kneeling girl with the bent head, the other dismayed +and uncomprehending figure yielding a doubtful hand, his +discomfort indicated in the very lines of his waistcoat. +"_A Fin de Siecle Tribute_," Kendal named it. He dismissed +the idea as absurd, and then reconsidered it as a means +of disposing of the incident finally. He knew it could +be very effectually put away in canvas. He assured himself +again that he could not entertain the idea of painting +it seriously, and that this was because of the inevitable +tendency which the subject would have toward caricature. +Kendal had an indignant contempt for such a tendency, +and the liberty which men who used it took with their +art. He had never descended to the flouting of his own +aims which it implied. He threw himself into his pictures +without reserve; it was the best of him that he painted, +the strongest he could do, and all he could do; he was +sincere enough to take it always seriously. The possibility +of caricature seemed to him to account admirably for his +reluctance to paint "_A Fin de Siecle Tribute_,"--it +was a matter of conscience. He found that the desire to +paint it would not go, however; it took daily more complete +possession of him, and fought his scruples with a strong +hand. It was a fortnight after, and he had not seen +Elfrida in the meantime, when they were finally defeated +by the argument that a sketch would show whether caricature +were necessarily inherent or not. He would make a sketch +purely for his own satisfaction. Under the circumstances +Kendal realized perfectly that it could never be for +exhibition, and indeed he felt a singular shrinking from +the idea that any one should see it. Finally, he gave a +whole day to the thing, and made an admirable sketch. + +After that Kendal felt free to make the most of his +opportunities of seeing Elfrida--his irritation with her +subsided, her blunder had been settled to his satisfaction. +He had an obscure idea of having inflicted discipline +upon her in giving the incident form and color upon +canvas, in arresting its grotesqueness and sounding its +true _motif_ with a pictorial tongue. It was his conception +of the girl that he punished, and he let his fascinated +speculation go out to her afterward at a redoubled rate. +She brought him sometimes to the verge of approval, to +the edge of liking; arid when he found that he could not +take the further step he told himself impatiently that +it was not a case for anything so ordinary as approval, +or anything so personal as liking; it was a matter of +observation, enjoyment, stimulus. He availed himself of +these abstractions with a candor that was the more open +for not being complicated with any less hardy motive. He +had long ago decided that relations of sentiment with +Elfrida would require a temperament quite different from +that of any man he knew. It was entirely otherwise with +Janet Cardiff, and Kendal smiled as he thought of the +feminine variation the two girls illustrated. He had a +distinct recollection of one crisp October afternoon +before he went to Paris, as they walked home together +under the brown curling leaves and passed the Serpentine, +when he had found that the old charm of Janet's gray eyes +was changing to a new one. He remembered the pleasure he +had felt in dallying with the thought of making them +lustrous, one day, with tenderness for himself. It had +paled since then, there had been so many other things; +but still they were dear, honest eyes--and Kendal never +brought his reverie to a conclusion under any circumstances +whatever. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +I have mentioned that Miss Bell had looked considerations +of sentiment very full in the face at an age when she +might have been expected to be blushing and quivering +before them, with downcast countenance. She had arrived +at conclusions about them--conclusions of philosophic +contumely, indifference, and some contempt. She had since +frequently talked about them to Janet Cardiff with curious +disregard of time, and circumstance, mentioning her +opinion in a Strand omnibus, for instance, that the only +dignity attaching to love as between a man and a woman +was that of an artistic idea. Janet had found Elfrida +possessed of so savage a literalism in this regard that +it was only in the most hardily adventurous of the moods +of investigation her friend inspired that she cared to +combat her here. It was not, Janet told herself, that +she was afraid to face the truth in any degree of nakedness; +but she rose in hot inward rebellion against Elfrida's +borrowed psychological cynicisms--they were not the truth, +Tolstoi had not all the facts, perhaps from pure Muscovite +inability to comprehend them all The spirituality of love +might be a western product--she was half inclined to +think it was; but at all events it existed, and it was +wanton to leave out of consideration a thing that made +all the difference. Moreover, if these things ought to +be probed--and Janet was not of serious opinion that they +ought to be--for her part she preferred to obtain advices +thereon from between admissible and respectable book-covers. +It hurt her to hear them drop from Elfrida's lips--lips +so plainly meant for all tenderness. Janet had an instinct +of helpless anger when she heard them; the woman in her +rose in protest, less on behalf of her sex than on behalf +of Elfrida herself, who seemed so blind, so willing to +revile, so anxious to reject. "Do you really hope you +will marry?" Elfrida had asked her once; and Janet had +answered candidly, "Of course I do, and I want to die a +grandmother too." "_Vraiment!_" exclaimed Miss Bell +ironically, with a little shudder of disgust, "I hope +you may!" + +That was in the very beginning of their friendship, +however, and so vital a subject could not remain, outside +the relations which established themselves more and more +intimately between them as the days went on. Janet began +to find herself constantly in the presence of a temptation +to bring the matter home to Elfrida personally in one +way or another, as young women commonly do with other +young women who are obstinately unorthodox in these +things--to say to her in effect, "Your turn will come +when _he_ comes! These pseudo-philosophies will vanish +when _he_ looks at them, like snow in spring. You will +succumb--you will succumb!" But she never did. Something +in Elfrida's attitude forbade it. Her opinions were not +vagaries, and she held them, so far as they had a personal +application, haughtily. Janet felt and disliked the tacit +limitation, and preferred to avoid the clash of their +opinions when she could. Besides, her own ideas upon the +subject had latterly retired irretrievably from the light +of discussion. She had one day found it necessary to lock +the door of her soul upon them; in the new knowledge that +had taken sweet possession of her she recognized that +they were no longer theoretical, that they must be put +away. She challenged herself to sit in a jury upon Love, +and found herself disqualified. + +The discovery had no remarkable effect upon Janet. She +sometimes wasted an hour, pen in hand, in inconsequent +reverie, and worked till midnight to make up; and she +took a great liking for impersonal conversations with +Miss Halifax about Kendal's pictures, methods and meanings. +She found dining in Royal Geographical circles less of +a bore than usual, and deliberately laid herself out to +talk well. She looked in the glass sometimes at a little +vertical line that seemed to be coming at the corners of +her mouth, and wondered whether at twenty-four one might +expect the first indication of approaching old-maidenhood. +When she was paler than usual she reflected that the +season was taking a good deal out of her. She was bravely +and rigidly commonplace with Kendal, who told her that +she ought to drop it and go out of town--she was not +looking well. She drew closer to her father, and at the +same time armed her secret against him at all points. +Janet would have had any one know rather than he. She +felt that it implied almost a breach of faith, of +comradeship, to say nothing of the complication of her +dignity, which she wanted upheld in his eyes before all +others. In reality she made him more the sovereign of +her affections and the censor of her relations than nature +designed Lawrence Cardiff to be in the parental connection. +It gave him great pleasure that he could make his daughter +a friend, and accord her the independence of a friend; +it was a satisfaction to him that she was not obtrusively +filial. Her feeling for Kendal, under the circumstances, +would have hurt him if he bad known of it, but only +through his sympathy and his affection--he was unacquainted +with the jealousy of a father. But in Janet's eyes they +made their little world together, indispensable to each +other as its imaginary hemispheres. She had a quiet pain, +in the infrequent moments when she allowed herself the +full realization of her love for Kendal, in the knowledge +that she, of her own motion, had disturbed its unities +and its ascendancies. + +Since that evening at Lady Halifax's, when Janet saw John +Kendal reddening so unaccountably, she had felt singularly +more tolerant of Elfrida's theories. She combated them +as vigorously as ever, but she lost her dislike to +discussing them. As it became more and more obvious that +Kendal found in Elfrida a reward for the considerable +amount of time he spent in her society, so Janet arrived +at the point of encouraging her heresies, especially with +their personal application. She took secret comfort in +them; she hoped they would not change, and she was too +honest to disguise to herself the reason. If Elfrida +cared for him, Janet assured herself, the case would be +entirely different--she would stamp out her own feeling +without mercy, to the tiniest spark. She would be glad, +in time, to have crushed it for Elfrida, though it did +seem that it would be more easily done for a stranger, +somebody she wouldn't have to know afterward. But if +Elfrida didn't care, as a matter of principle Janet was +unable to see the least harm in making her say so as +often as possible. They were talking together in Mr. +Cardiff's library late one June afternoon, when it seemed +to Janet that the crisis came, that she could never again +speak of such matters to Elfrida without betraying herself. +Things were growing dim about the room, the trees stood +in dusky groups in the square outside. There was the +white glimmer of the tea-things between them, and just +light enough to define the shadows round the other girl's +face, and write upon it the difference it bore, in Janet's +eyes, to every other face. + +"Oh!" Elfrida was saying, "it does make life more +interesting, I admit--up to a certain point. And I +suppose it's to be condoned from the point of view of +the species. Whoever started us, and wants us to go on, +excuses marriage, I suppose. And of course the men are +not affected by it. But for women, it is degrading +--horrible. Especially for women like you and me, to whom +life may mean something else. Fancy being the author of +babies when one could be the author of books! _Don't_ +tell me you'd rather!" + +"I!" said Janet "Oh, I'm out of it. But I approve the +principle." + +"Besides, the commonplaceness, the eternal routine, the +being tied together, the--the domestic virtues! It must +be death, absolute death, to any fineness of nature. No," +Elfrida went on decisively, "people with anything in them +that is worth saving may love as much as they feel +disposed, but they ought to keep their freedom. And some +of them do nowadays." + +"Do you mean," said Janet slowly, "that they dispense +with the ceremony?" + +"They dispense with the condition. They--they don't go +so far." + +"I thought you didn't believe in Platonics," Janet +answered, with wilful misunderstanding. + +"You know I don't believe in them. Any more," Elfrida +added lightly, "than I believe in this exaltation you +impute to the race of a passion it shares with--with the +mollusks. It's pure self-flattery." + +There was a moment's silence. Elfrida clasped her hands +behind her head and turned her face toward the window so +that all the light that came through softly gathered in +it. Janet felt the girl's beauty as if it were a burden, +pressing with literal physical weight upon her heart She +made a futile effort to lift it with words. "Frida," she +said, "you are beautiful to--to hurt to-night Why has +nobody ever painted a creature like you?" + +It was as if she touched an inner spring of the girl's +nature, touched it electrically. Elfrida leaned forward +consciously with shining eyes. "Truly am I, Janetta? +Ah--to-night! Well, yes, perhaps to-night, I am. It is +an effect of chiaroscuro. But what about always--what +about generally, Janetta? I have such horrid doubts. If +it weren't for my nose I should be satisfied--yes, I +think I should be satisfied. But I _can't_ deceive myself +about my nose, Janetta; it's thick!" + +"It isn't a particularly spiritually-minded nose," Janet +laughed. "But console yourself, it's thoughtful." + +Elfrida put her elbows on her knees and framed her face +with the palms of her hands. "If I am beautiful to-night +you ought to love me. Do you love me, Janetta? Really +_love_ me? Could you imagine," she went on, with a +whimsical spoiled shake of her head, "any one else doing +it?" + +Janet's fingers closed tightly on the arm of her chair. +Was it coming already, then? + +"Yes," she said slowly, "I could imagine it well." + +"More than one?" Elfrida insisted prettily. "More than +two or three? A dozen, perhaps?" + +"Quite a dozen," Janet smiled. "Is that to be the limit +of your heartless proceedings?" + +"I don't know how soon one would grow tired of it. Maybe +in three or four years. But for now--it is very amusing." + +"Playing with fire?" + +"Bah!" Elfrida returned, going back to her other mood. +"I'm not inflammable. But-to that extent, if you like, +I value what you and the poets are pleased to call love. +It's part of the game; one might as well play it all. +It's splendid to win--anything. It's a kind of success." + +"Oh, I know," she went on after an instant. "I have done +it before--I shall do it again, often! It is worth +doing--to sit within three feet of a human being who +would give all he possesses just to touch your hand--and +to tacitly dare him to do it." + +"Stop, Elfrida!" + +"Shan't stop, my dear. Not only to be able to check any +such demonstration yourself, with a movement, a glance, +a turn of your head, but without even a sign, to make +your would-be adorer check it himself! And to feel as +still and calm and superior to it all! Is that nothing +to you?" + +"It's less than nothing. It's hideous!" + +"I consider it a compensation vested in the few for the +wrongs of the many," Elfrida replied gaily. "And I mean +to store up all the compensation in my proper person that +I can." + +"I believe you have had more than your share already," +Janet cried. + +"Oh no! a little, only a little. Hardly anything +here--people fall in love in England in such a mathematical +way. But there is a callow artist on the _Age_, and +Golightly Ticke has become quite mad lately, and Solomon +--I mean Mr. Rattray--will propose next week--he thinks +I won't dare to refuse the sub-editor. How I shall laugh +at him! Afterward, if he gives me any trouble, I shall +threaten to write up the interview for the _Pictorial +News_. On the whole though, I dare say I'd better not +suggest such a thing; he would want it for the _Age_. +He is equal to any personal sacrifice for the _Age_." + +"Is, that all?" asked Janet, turning away her head. + +"You are thinking of John Kendal! Ah, there it becomes +exciting. From what you see, Janetta _mia_, what should +you _think?_ Myself, I don't quite know. Don't you find +him rather--a good deal--interested?" + +Janet had an impulse of thankfulness for the growing +darkness. "I--I see him so seldom!" she said. Oh, it was +the last time, the very last time that she would ever +let Elfrida talk like this. + +"Well, I think so," Elfrida went on coolly. "He fancies +he finds me curious, original, a type--just now. I dare +say he thinks he takes an anthropological pleasure in my +society! But in the beginning it is all the same thing, +my dear, and in the end it will be all the same thing. +This delicious Loti," and she picked up "Aziade"--"what +an anthropologist he is--with a feminine bias!" + +Janet was tongue-tied. She struggled with herself for an +instant, and then, "I _wish_ you'd stay and dine," she +said desperately. + +"How thoughtless of me!" Elfrida replied, jumping up. +"You ought to be dressing, dear. No, I can't; I've got to +sup with some ladies of the Alhambra to-night--it will make +such lovely copy. But I'll go now, this very instant." + +Half-way downstairs Janet, in a passion of helpless tears, +heard Elfrida's footsteps pause and turn. She stepped +swiftly into her own room and locked the door. The +footsteps came tripping back into, the library, and then +a tap sounded on Janet's door. Outside Elfrida's voice +said plaintively, "I had to come back. Do you love me--are +you quite sure you love me?" + +"You humbug!" Janet called from within, steadying heir +voice with an effort, "I'm not at all sure. I'll tell +you to-morrow!" + +"But you do!" cried Elfrida, departing. "I know you do." + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +July thickened down upon London. The society papers +announced that with the exception of the few unfortunate +gentlemen who were compelled to stay and look after their +constituents' interests, at Westminster, "everybody" had +gone out of town, and filled up yawning columns with +detailed information as to everybody's destination. To +an inexperienced eye, with the point of view of the top +of an Uxbridge Road omnibus for instance, it might not +appear that London had diminished more than the extent +of a few powdered footmen on carriage boxes; but the +census of the London world is after all not to be taken +from the top of an Uxbridge Road omnibus. London teemed +emptily, the tall houses in the narrow lanes of Mayfair +slept standing, the sunlight filtered through a depressing +haze and stood still in the streets for hours together. +In the Park the policemen wooed the nursery-maids free +from the embarrassing smiling scrutiny of people to whom +this serious preoccupation is a diversion. The main +thoroughfares were full of "summer sales," St. Paul's +echoed to admiring Transatlantic criticism, and the +Bloomsbury boarding-houses to voluble Transatlantic +complaint. + +The Halifaxes were at Brighton, Lady Halifax giving +musical teas, Miss Halifax painting marine views in a +little book. Miss Halifax called them "impressions," and +always distributed them at the musical teas. The Cardiffs +had gone to Scotland for golf, and later on for grouse. +Janet was almost as expert on the links as her father, +and was on very familiar terms with a certain Highland +moor and one Donald Macleod. They had laid every compulsion +upon Elfrida to go with them, in vain; the girl's +sensitiveness on the point of money obligations was +intense, and Janet failed to measure it accurately when +she allowed herself to feel hurt that their relations +did not preclude the necessity for taking any thought as +to who paid. Elfrida staid, however, in her by-way of +Fleet Street, and did a little bit of excellent work for +the _Illustrated Age_ every day. If it had not been for +the editor-in-chief, Rattray would have extended her +scope on the paper; but the editor-in-chief said no, Miss +Bell was dangerous, there was no telling what she might +be up to if they gave her the reins. She went very well, +but she was all the better for the severest kind of a +bit. So Miss Bell wrote about colonial exhibitions and +popular spectacles, and country outings for babies of +the slums, and longed for a fairer field. As midsummer +came on there arrived a dearth in these objects of orthodox +interest, and Rattray told her she might submit "anything +on the nail" that occurred to her, in addition to such +work as the office could give her to do. Then, in spite +of the vigilance of the editor-in-chief, an odd +unconventional bit of writing crept now and then into +the _Age_--an interview with some eccentric notability +with the piquancy of a page from Gyp, a bit of pathos +picked out of the common, streets, a fragment of +character-drawing which smiled visibly and talked audibly. +Elfrida in her garret drew a joy from these things. She +cut them out and read them over and over again, and put +them sacredly away, with Nadie's letters and a manuscript +poem of a certain Bruynotin's, and a scrawl from one +Hakkoff, with a vigorous sketch of herself, from memory, +in pen and ink in the corner of the page, in the little +eastern-smelling wooden box which seemed to her to +represent the core of her existence. They quickened her +pulse, they gave her a curious uplifted happiness that +took absolutely no account of any other circumstance. + +There were days when Mrs. Jordan had real twinges of +conscience about the quality of Miss Bell's steak. "But +there," Mrs. Jordan would soothe herself, "I might bring +her the best sulline, and she wouldn't know no difference." +In other practical respects the girl was equally +indifferent. Her clothes were shabby, and she did not +seem to think of replacing them; Mrs. Jordan made +preposterous charges for candles, and she paid them +without question. She tipped people who did little services +for her with a kind of royal delicacy; the girl who +scrubbed the landings worshipped her, and the boy who +came every day for her copy once brought her a resplendent +"button-hole" consisting of two pink rosebuds and a +scarlet geranium, tendering it with a shy lie to the +effect that he had found it in the street. She went alone +now and again to the opera, taking an obscure place, and +she lived a good deal among the foreign art exhibitions +of Bond Street. Once she bought an etching and brought +it home under her arm. That kept her poor for a month, +though she would have been less aware of it if she had +not, before the month was out, wanted to buy another. A +great Parisian actress had made her yearly visit to London +in June, and Elfrida conjuring with the name of the +_Illustrated Age_, won an appointment from her. The +artiste staid only a fortnight--she declared that one +half of an English audience came to see her because it +was proper and the other because it was sinful, and she +found it insupportable--and in that time she asked Elfrida +three times to pay her morning visits, when she appeared +in her dressing-gown, little unconventional visits "_pour +bavarder_." When Miss Bell lacked entertainment during the +weeks that followed she thought of these visits, and little +smiles chased each other round the corners of her mouth. + +She wrote to Janet when she was in the mood--delicious +scraps of letters, broad-margined, fantastic, each, so +far as charm went, a little literary gem disguised in +wilfulness, in a picture, in a diamond-cut cynicism that +shone sharper and clearer for the "dainty affectation of +its setting." When she was not in the mood she did not +write at all. With an instinctive recognition of the +demands of any relation such as she felt her friendship +with Janet Cardiff to be, she simply refrained, from +imposing upon her anything that savored of dullness or +commonplaceness. So that sometimes she wrote three or +four times in a week and sometimes not at all for a +fortnight, sometimes covered pages and sometimes sent +three lines and a row of asterisks. There was a fancifulness +in the hour as well, that usually made itself felt all +through the letter--it was rainy twilight in her garret, +or a gray wideness was creeping up behind St Paul's, +which meant that it was morning. To what she herself was +actually doing, or to any material fact about her, they +made the very slightest reference. Janet, in Scotland, +perceived half of this, and felt aggrieved on the score +of the other half. She wished, more often than she said +she did, that Elfrida were a little more human, that she +had a more appreciative understanding of the warm value +of common every-day matters between people who were +interested in one another. The subtle imprisoned soul in +Elfrida's letters always spoke to hers, but Janet never +received so artistic a missive of three lines that she +did not wish it were longer, and she had no fund of +confidence to draw on to meet her friend's incomprehensible +spaces of silence. To cover her real soreness she scolded, +chaffed brusquely, affected lofty sarcasms. + +"Twelve days ago," she wrote, "you mentioned casually +that you were threatened with pneumonia; your communication +of to-day you devote to proving that Hector Malot is a +carpenter. I agree with you with reservations, but the +sequence worries me. In the meantime have you had the +pneumonia?" + +Her own letters were long and gossiping, full of the +scent of the heather and the eccentricities of Donald +Macleod; and she wrote them, regularly twice a week, +using rainy afternoons for the purpose and every inch of +the paper at her disposal. Elfrida put a very few of +them into the wooden box, just as she would have embalmed, +if she could, a very few of the half-hours they had spent +together. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +John Kendal had turned the key upon his dusty work-room +in Bryanston Street among the first of those who, according +to the papers, depopulated London in July. He had an old +engagement to keep, which took him, with Carew of the +_Dial_ and Limley of the Civil Service, to explore and +fish in the Norwegian fjords. The project matured suddenly, +and he left town without seeing anybody--a necessity +which disturbed him a number of times on the voyage. He +wrote a hasty line to Janet, returning a borrowed book, +and sent a trivial message to Elfrida, whom he knew to +be spending a few days in Kensington Square at the time. +Janet delivered it with an intensity of quiet pleasure +which she showed extraordinary skill in concealing. "May +I ask you to say to Miss Bell--" seemed to her to be +eloquent of many things. She looked at Elfrida with +inquiry, in spite of herself, when she gave the message, +but Elfrida received it with a nod and a smile of perfect +indifference. "It is because she does not care--does not +care _an iota_," Janet told herself; and all that day it +seemed to her that Elfrida's personality was inexhaustibly +delightful. + +Afterward, however, one or two letters found their way +into the sandal-wood box, bearing the Norwegian postmark. +They came seldomer than Elfrida expected. "_Enfin!_" she +said when the first arrived, and she felt her pulse beat +a little faster as she opened it. She read it eagerly, +with serious lips, thinking how fine he was, and with +what exquisite force he brought himself to her as he +wrote. "I must be a very exceptional person," she said +in her reverie afterward, "to have such things written +to me. I must--I _must!_" Then as she put the letter away +she reflected that she couldn't amuse herself with Kendal +without treachery to their artistic relationship; there +would be somehow an outrage in it. And she would not +amuse herself with him; she would sacrifice that, and be +quite frank and simple always. So that when it came to +pass--here Elfrida retired into a lower depth of +consciousness--there would be only a little pity and a +little pain, and no reproach or regret. There was a delay +in the arrival of the next letter which Elfrida felt to +be unaccountable, a delay of nearly three weeks. She took +it with an odd rush of feeling from the hand of the +housemaid who brought it up, and locked herself in alone +with it. + +A few days later, driving through Bryanston Street in a +hansom, Elfrida saw the windows of Kendal's studio wide +open. She leaned forward to realize it with a little +tumult of excitement at the possibility it indicated, +half turned to bid the cabman stop, and rolled on undecided. +Presently she spoke to him. + +"Please go back to number sixty-three," she said, "I want +to get out there," and in a moment or two she was tripping +lightly up the stairs. + +Kendal, in his shirt-sleeves, with his back to the door, +was bending over a palette that clung obstinately to the +hardened round dabs of color he had left upon it six +weeks before. He threw it down at Elfrida's step, and +turned with a sudden light of pleasure in his face to +see her framed in the doorway, looking at him with an +odd shyness and silence. "You spirit!" he cried, "how +did you know I had come back?" and he held her hand for +just an appreciable instant, regarding her with simple +delight. Her tinge of embarrassment became her sweetly, +and the pleasure in his eyes made her almost instantly +aware of this. + +"I didn't know," she said, with a smile that shared his +feeling. "I saw the windows open, and I thought the woman +downstairs might be messing about here. They can do such +incalculable damage when they really set their minds to +it, these _concierge_ people. So I--I came up to interfere. +But it is you!" She looked at him with wide, happy eyes +which sent the satisfaction she found in saying that to +his inmost consciousness. + +"That was extremely good of you," he said, and in spite +of himself a certain emphasis crept into the commonplace. +"I hardly realize myself that I am here. It might very +well be the Skaagerak outside." + +"Does the sea in Norway sound like that?" Elfrida asked, +as the roar of London came across muffled from Piccadilly. +She made a tittle theatrical movement of her head to +listen, and Kendal's appreciation of it was so evident +that she failed to notice exactly what he answered. "You +have come back sooner than you intended?" + +"By a month." + +"Why!" she asked. Her eye made a soft bravado, but that +was lost. He did not guess for a moment that she believed +she knew why he had come. + +"It was necessary," he answered, with remembered gravity, +"in connection with the death of--of a relative, a granduncle +of mine. The old fellow went off suddenly last week, and +they telegraphed for me. I believe he wanted to see me, +poor old chap, but of course it was too late." + +"Oh!" said Elfrida gently, "that is very sad. Was it a +granduncle you were--fond of?" + +Kendal could not restrain a smile at her earnestness. + +"I was, in a way. He was a good old fellow, and he lived +to a great age--over ninety. He has left me all the duties +and responsibilities of his estate," Kendal went on, with +sudden gloom. "The Lord only knows what I'll do with +them." + +"That makes it sadder," said the girl. + +"I should think it did," Kendal replied; and then their +eyes met, and they laughed the healthy instinctive laugh +of youth when it is asked to mourn fatuously, which is +always a little cruel. + +"I hope," said Elfrida quickly, "that he has not saddled +you with a title. An estate is bad enough, but with a +title added it would ruin you. You would never do any +more good work, I am sure--sure. People would get at +you--you would take to rearing farm creatures from a +sense of duty--you might go into Parliament. Tell me +there is no title!" + +"How do you know all that?" Kendal exclaimed, laughing. +"But there is no title--never has been." + +Elfrida drew a long sigh of relief, and held him with +her eyes as if he had just been snatched away from, some +impending danger. "So now you are--what do you say in +this country?--a landed proprietor. You belong to the +country gentry. In America I used to read about the +country gentry in _London Society_--all the contributors +and all the subscribers to _London Society_ used to be +country gentry, I believe, from what I remember. They +were always riding to hounds, and having big Christmas +parties, and telling ghost stories about the family, +diamonds." + +"All very proper," Kendal protested against the irony of +her tone. + +"Oh, if one would be quite _sure_ that it will not make +any difference," Elfrida went on, clasping her knee with +her shapely gloved hands. "I should like--I should like +to beg you to make me a promise that you will never give +up your work--your splendid work!" She hesitated, and +looked at him almost with supplication. "But then why +should you make such a promise to _me!_" + +They were sitting opposite one another in the dusty +confusion of the room, and when she said this Kendal got +up and walked over to her, without knowing exactly why. + +"If I made such a promise," he said, looking down at her, +"it would be more binding given to you than to anybody +else--more binding and more sacred." + +If she had exacted it he would have promised then and +there, and he had some vague notion of sealing the vow +with his lips upon her hand, and of arranging--this was +more indefinite still--that she should always insist, in +her sweet personal way, upon its fulfilment. But Elfrida +felt the intensity in his voice with a kind of fear, not +of the situation--she had a nervous delight in the +situation--but of herself. She had a sudden terror in +his coming so close to her, in his changed voice, and +its sharpness lay in her recognition of it. Why should +she be frightened? She jumped up gaily with the question +still throbbing in her throat. + +"No," she cried, "you shall not promise me. I'll form a +solemn, committee of your friends--your real friends--and +we'll come some day and exact an oath from you, individually +and collectively. That will be much more impressive. I +must go now," she went on reproachfully, "and you have +shown me nothing that you've brought back with you. Is +there anything here?" In her anxiety to put space between +them she bad walked to the furthest and untidiest corner +of the room, where half a dozen canvases leaned with +their faces to the wall. + +Kendal watched her, tilt them forward one after another +with a kind or sick impotence. + +"Absolutely nothing!" he cried. + +But it was too late--she had paused in her running +commentary on the pictures, she was standing looking, +absolutely silent, at the last but one. She had come upon +it--she had found it--his sketch of the scene in Lady +Halifax's drawing-room. + +"Oh yes, there is something!" she said at last, carefully +drawing it out and holding it at arm's length. "Something +that is quite new to me. Do you mind if I put it in a +better light?" Her voice had wonderfully changed; it +expressed a curious interest and self-control. In effect +that was all she felt for the moment; she had a dull +consciousness of a blow, but did not yet quite understand +being struck. She was gathering herself together as she +looked, growing conscious of her hurt and of her resentment. +Kendal was silent, cursing himself inwardly for not having +destroyed the thing the day after he had let himself do it. + +"Yes," she said, placing it on an easel at an oblique +angle with the north window of the room, "it is better so." + +She stepped back a few paces to look at it, and stood +immovable, searching every detail. "It does you credit," +she said slowly; "immense credit. Oh, it is very clever!" + +"Forgive me," Kendal said, taking a step toward her. "I +am afraid it doesn't But I never intended you to see it." + +"Is it an order?" she asked calmly. "Ah, but that would +not have been fair--not to show it to me first!" + +Kendal crimsoned. "I beg," he said earnestly, "that you +will not think such a thing possible. I intended to +destroy it--I don't know why I have not destroyed it!" + +"But why? It is so good, so charming, so--so _true!_ You +did it for your own amusement, then! But that was very +selfish." + +For answer Kendal caught up a tube of Indian red, squeezed +it on the crusted palette, loaded a brush with it, and +dashed it across the sketch. It was a feeble piece of +bravado, and he felt it, but he must convince her in some +way that the thing was worthless to him. + +"Ah," she said, "that is a pity!" and she walked to +the door. She must get away, quite away, and quickly, to +realize this, thing, and find out exactly what it meant +to her. And yet, three steps down the stairs she turned +and came back again. John Kendal stood where, she had +left him, staring at the sketch on the easel. + +"I have come back to thank you," Elfrida said quickly, +"for showing me what a fool I made of myself," and she +was gone. + +An hour later Kendal had not ceased to belabor himself; +but the contemplation of the sketch--he had not looked +at it for two months--brought him to the conclusion that +perhaps, after all, it might have some salutary effect. +He found himself so curiously sore about it though, so +thoroughly inclined, to brand himself a traitor and a +person without obligation, that he went back to Norway +the following week--a course which left a number of worthy +people in the neighborhood of Bigton, Devonshire, very +indignant indeed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +"Daddy," Janet said to her father a few days after their +return to town; "I've been thinking that we might--that +you might--be of use in helping Frida to place something +somewhere else than in that eternal picture paper." + +"For instance?" + +"Oh, in _Peterson's_, or the _London Magazine_, or +_Piccadilly_." + +It was in the library after dinner, and Lawrence Cardiff +was smoking. He took the slender stem of his pipe from +his lips and pressed down the tobacco in the bowl with +a, caressing thumb, looking appreciatively, as he did +it, at the mocking buffoon's face that was carved on it. + +"It seems to me that you are the influential person in +those quarters," he said, with the smile that Janet +privately thought the most delightfully sympathetic she +knew. + +"Oh, I'm not really!" the girl answered quickly; "and +besides--" she hesitated, to pick words that would hurt +her as little as possible--"besides, Frida wouldn't care +about my doing it." + +"Why?" + +"I don't know quite why. But she wouldn't--it's of no +use. I don't think she likes having things done for her +by people anything like her own age, and--and standing." + +Cardiff smiled inwardly at this small insincerity. +Janet's relation with Elfrida was a growing pleasure to +him. He found himself doing little things to enhance it, +and fancying himself in some way connected with its +initiation. + +"But I'm almost certain she would let you do it," his +daughter urged. + +"_In loco parentis_," Cardiff smiled, and immediately +found that the words left an unpleasant taste in his +mouth. "But I'm not at all sure that she could do anything +they would take." + +"My dear daddy!" cried Janet resentfully. "Wait till she +tries! You said yourself that some of those scraps she +sent us in Scotland were delicious." + +"So they were. She has a curious, prismatic kind of +mind--" + +"Soul, daddy." + +"Soul, if you like. It reflects quite wonderfully, the +angles at which it finds itself with the world are so +unusual. But I doubt her power, you know, of construction +or cohesion, or anything of that kind." + +"I don't," Janet returned confidently. "But talk to her +about it, daddy; get her to show you what she's done--I +never see a line till it's in print. And--I don't know +anything about it, you know. Above all things, don't +let her guess that I suggested it." + +"I'll see what can be done," Mr. Cardiff returned, "though +I profess myself faithless. Elfrida wasn't designed to +please the public of the magazines--in England." + +When Janet reflected afterward upon what had struck her +as being odd about this remark of her father's, she found +it was Elfrida's name. It seemed to have escaped him; he +had never referred to her in that way before--which was +a wonder, Janet assured herself, considering how constantly +he heard it from her lips. + +"How does the novel come on?" Mr. Cardiff asked before +she went to bed that night. "When am I to be allowed to +see the proofs?" + +"I finished the nineteenth chapter yesterday," Janet +answered, flushing. "It will only run to about twenty-three. +It's a very little one, daddy." + +"Still nobody in the secret but Lash and Black?" + +"Not a soul I hope they're the right people," Janet said +anxiously. "I haven't even told Elfrida," she added. "I +want to surprise her with an early copy. She'll like it, +I think. I like it pretty well myself. It has an effective +leading idea." + +Her father laughed, and threw her a line of Horace which +she did not understand. "Don't let it take too much time +from your other work," he warned her. "It's sure, you +know, to be an arrant imitation of somebody, while in +your other things you have never been anybody but yourself." +He looked at her in a way that disarmed his words, and +went back to his _Revue Bleue_. + +"Dear old thing! You want to prepare me for anything, +don't you? I wonder whom I've imitated! Hardy, I think, +most of all--but then it's such a ludicrously far-away +imitation! If there's nothing in the thing but _that_, +it deserves to fall as flat as flat. But there is, +daddy!" + +Cardiff laid down his journal again at the appealing +note. + +"No!" she cried, "I won't bore you with it now; wait till +the proofs come. Good-night!" She kissed him lightly on +the cheek. "About Elfrida," she added, still bending +over him. "You'll be very careful, won't you, daddy +dear--not to hurt her feelings in any way, I mean?" + +After she had gone, Lawrence Cardiff laid down the _Revue_ +again and smoked meditatively for half an hour. During +that time he revolved at least five subjects which he +thought Elfrida, with proper supervision, might treat +effectively. But the supervision would be very necessary. + +A fortnight later Mr. Cardiff sat in the same chair, +smoking the same pipe, and alternately frowned and smiled +upon the result of that evening's meditation. It had +reached him by post in the afternoon without an accompanying +word; the exquisite self-conscious manuscript seemed to +breathe a subdued defiance at him, with the merest ghost +of a perfume that Cardiff liked better. Once or twice he +held the pages closer to his face to catch it more +perfectly. + +Janet had not mentioned the matter to him again; indeed, +she had hardly thought of it. Her whole nature was absorbed +in her fight with herself, in the struggle for self-control, +which had ceased to come to the surface of her life at +intervals, and had now become constant and supreme with +her. Kendal had made it harder for her lately by continually +talking of Elfrida. He brought his interest in her to +Janet to discuss as he naturally brought everything that +touched him to her, and Janet, believing it to be a +lover's pleasure, could not forbid him. When he criticised +Elfrida, Janet fancied it was to hear her warm defence, +which grew oddly reckless in her anxiety to hide the +bitterness that tinged it. + +"Otherwise," she permitted herself to reflect, "he is +curiously just in his analysis of her--for a man," and +hated the thought for its touch of disloyalty. + +Knowing Elfrida as she thought she knew her, Kendal's +talk wounded her once for herself and twice for him. He +was going on blindly, confidently, trusting, Janet thought +bitterly, to his own sweetness of nature, to his comeliness +and the fineness of his sympathies--who had ever refused +him anything yet? And only to his hurt, to his repulse--from +the point of view of sentiment, to his ruin. For it did +not seem possible to Janet that a hopeless passion for +a being like Elfrida Bell could result in anything but +collapse. Whenever he came to Kensington Square, and he +came often, she went down to meet him with a quaking +heart, and sought his face nervously for the haggard, +broken look which should mean that he had asked Elfrida +to marry him and been artistically refused. Always she +looked in vain; indeed, Kendal's spirits were so uniformly +like a schoolboy's that once or twice she asked herself, +with sudden terror, whether Elfrida had deceived +her--whether it might not be otherwise between them, +recognizing then, with infinite humiliation, how much +worse that would be. She took to working extravagantly +hard, and Elfrida noticed with distinct pleasure how much +warmer her manner had grown, and in how many pretty ways +she showed her enthusiasm. Janet was such a conquest! +Once when Kendal seemed to Janet on the point of asking +her what she thought of his chances, she went to a +florist's in the High, and sent Elfrida a pot of snowy +chrysanthemums, after which she allowed herself to refrain +from seeing her for a week. Her talk with her father +about helping Elfrida to place her work with the magazines +had been one of the constant impulses by which she tried +to compensate her friend, as it were, for the amount of +suffering that young woman was inflicting upon her--she +would have found a difficulty in explaining it more +intelligibly than that. + +As he settled together the pages of Miss Bell's article +on "The Nemesis of Romanticism" and laid them on the +table, Lawrence Cardiff thought, of it with sincere +regret. + +"It is hopeless--hopeless," he said to himself. "It must +be rewritten from end to end. I suppose she must do it +herself," he added, with a smile that he drew from some +memory of her, and he pulled writing materials toward +him to tell her so. Re-reading his brief note, he frowned, +hesitated, and tore it up. The next followed it into the +waste-paper basket. The third gave Elfrida gently to +understand that in Mr. Cardiff's opinion the article was +a little unbalanced--she would remember her demand that +he should be absolutely frank. She had made some delightful +points, but there was a lack of plan and symmetry. If +she would give him the opportunity he would be very happy +to go over it with her, and possibly she would make a +few changes. More than this Cardiff could not induce +himself to say. And he would await her answer before +sending the article back to her. + +It came next day, and in response to it Mr. Cardiff +found himself walking, with singular lightness of step, +toward Fleet Street in the afternoon with Elfrida's +manuscript in his pocket. Buddha smiled more inscrutably +than ever as they went over it together, while the water +hissed in the samovar in the corner, and little blue +flames chased themselves in and out of the anthracite in +the grate, and the queer Orientalism of the little room +made its picturesque appeal to Cardiff's senses. He had +never been there before. + +From beginning to end they went over the manuscript, he +criticising and suggesting, she gravely listening, and +insatiately spurring him on. + +"You may say anything," she declared. "The sharper it is +the better, you know, for me. Please don't be polite--be +savage!" and he did his best to comply. + +She would not always be convinced; he had to leave some +points unvanquished; but in the main she agreed and was +grateful. She would remodel the article, she told him, +and she would remember all that he had said. Cardiff +found her recognition of the trouble he had taken +delightful; it was nothing, he declared; he hoped very +particularly that she would let him be of use, if possible, +often again. He felt an inexplicable jar when she suddenly +said, "Did you ever do anything--of this sort--for Janet?" +and he was obliged to reply that he never did--her look +of disappointment was so keen. "She thought," he reflected, +"that I hoisted Janet into literature, and could be +utilized again perhaps," in which he did her injustice. +But he lingered over his tea, and when he took her hand +to bid her good-by he looked down at her and said, "Was +I very brutal?" in a way which amused Her for quite half +an hour after he had gone. + +Cardiff sent the amended article to the _London Magazine_ +with qualms. It was so unsuitable even then, that he +hardly expected his name to do much for it, and the +half-hour he devoted to persuading his literary conscience +to let him send it was very uncomfortable indeed. Privately +he thought any journalist would be rather an ass to print +it, yet he sincerely hoped the editor of the _London +Magazine_ would prove himself such an ass. He selected +the _London Magazine_ because it seemed to him that the +quality of its matter had lately been slightly +deteriorating. A few days later, when he dropped in at +the office, impatient at the delay, to ask the fate of +the article, he was distinctly, disappointed to find that +the editor had failed to approach it in the character he +had mentally assigned to him. That gentleman took the +manuscript out of the left-hand drawer of his writing-table, +and fingered, the pages over with a kind of disparaging +consideration before handing it back, + +"I'm very sorry, Cardiff, but we can't do anything with +this, I'm afraid. We have--we have one or two things +covering the same ground already in hand." + +And he looked at his visitor with some curiosity. It +was a queer article to have come through Lawrence Cardiff. + +Cardiff resented the look more than the rejection. "It's +of no consequence, thanks," he said drily. "Very good +of you to look at it. But you print a great deal worse +stuff, you know." + +His private reflection was different, however, and led +him to devote the following evening to making certain +additions to the sense and alterations in the style of +Elfrida's views on "The Nemesis of Romanticism," which +enabled him to say, at about one o'clock in the morning, +"_Enfin!_ It is passable!" He took it to Elfrida on his +way from his lecture next day. She met him at the door +of her attic with expectant eyes; she was certain of +success. + +"Have they taken it?" she cried. "Tell me quick, quick!" + +When he said no--the editor of the _London Magazine_ had +shown himself an idiot--he was very sorry, but they would +try again, he thought she was going to cry. But her face +changed as he went on, telling her frankly what he thought, +and showing her what he had done. + +"I've' only improved it for the benefit of the Philistines," +he said apathetically. "I hope you will forgive me." + +"And now," she said at last, with a little hard air, +"what do you propose?" + +"I propose that if you approve these trifling alterations, +we send the article to the _British Review_. And they +are certain to take it." + +Elfrida held out her hand for the manuscript, and he gave +it to her. She looked at every page again. It was at +least half re-written in Cardiff's small, cramped hand. + +"Thank-you," she said slowly. "Thank-you very much. I +have learned a great deal, I think, from what you have +been kind enough to tell me, and to write here. But this, +of course, so far as I am concerned in it, is a failure." + +"Oh no!" he protested. + +"An utter failure," she went on unnoticingly, "and it +has served its purpose. There!" she cried with sudden +passion, and in an instant the manuscript was flaming in +the grate. + +"Please--please go away," she sobbed, leaning the mantel +in a sudden betrayal of tears; Cardiff, resisting the +temptation to take her in his arms and bid her be comforted, +went. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Mr. Rattray's proposal occurred as soon after the close +of the season as he was able to find time to devote the +amount of attention to it which he felt it required. He +put it off deliberately till then, fearing that it might +entail a degree of mental agitation on his part that +would have an undesirable reflex action upon the paper. +Mr. Rattray had never been really attracted toward +matrimony before, although he had taken, in a discussion +in the columns of the _Age_ upon the careworn query, "Is +Marriage a Failure?" a vigorous negative side under +various pen-names which argued not only inclination, but +experience. He felt, therefore, that he could not possibly +predicate anything of himself under the circumstances, +and that it would be distinctly the part of wisdom to +wait until there was less going on. Mr. Rattray had an +indefinite idea that in case of a rejection he might find +it necessary to go out of town for some weeks to pull +himself together again--it was the traditional course--and +if such an exigency occurred before July the office would +go to pieces under the pressure of events. So he waited, +becoming every day more enthusiastically aware of the +great advantage of having Miss Bell permanently connected +with the paper under supervision which would be even more +highly authorized than an editor's, and growing at the +same time more thoroughly impressed with the unusual +character of her personal charm. Elfrida was a "find" to +Mr. Arthur Rattray from a newspaper point of view--a +find he gave himself credit for sagaciously recognizing, +and one which it would be expedient to obtain complete +possession of before its market value should become known. +And it was hardly possible for Mr. Rattray to divest +himself of the newspaper point of view in the consideration +of anything which concerned him personally. It struck +him as uniquely fortunate that his own advantage and that +of the _Age_ should tally, as it undoubtedly might in +this instance; and that, for Arthur Rattray, was putting +the matter in a rather high, almost disinterested +connection. + +It is doubtful whether to this day Mr. Rattray fully +understands his rejection, it was done so deftly, so +frankly, yet with such a delicate consideration for his +feelings. He took it, he assured himself afterward, +without winking; but it is unlikely that he felt +sufficiently indebted to the manner of its administration, +in congratulating himself upon this point. It may be, +too, that he left Miss Bell with the impression that her +intention never to marry was not an immovable one, given +indefinite time and indefinite abstention, on his part, +from alluding to the subject. Certainly he found himself +surprisingly little cast down by the event, and more +resolved than ever to make the editor-in-chief admit that +Elfrida's contributions were "the brightest things in +the paper," and act accordingly. He realized, in the +course of time, that he had never been very confident of +any other answer; but nothing is more certain than that +it acted as a curious stimulus to his interest in Elfrida's +work. He found a co-enthusiast in Golightly Ticke, and +on more than one occasion they agreed that something, +must be done to bring Miss Bell before the public, to +put within her reach the opportunity of the success she +deserved, which was of the order Mr. Rattray described +as "screaming." + +"So far as the booming is concerned," said Mr. Rattray +to Mr. Ticke, "I will attend to that; but there must be +something to boom. We can't sound the loud tocsin on a +lot of our own paras. She must do something that will go +between two covers." + +The men were talking in Golightly's room over easeful +Sunday afternoon cigars; and as Rattray spoke they heard +a light step mount the stairs. "There she is now," +replied Ticke. "Suppose we go up and propose it to her?" + +"I wish I knew what to suggest," Rattray returned; "but +we might talk it over with her--when she's had time to +take off her bonnet." + +Ten minutes later Elfrida was laughing at their ambitions. +"A success?" she exclaimed. "Oh yes! I mean to have a +success--one day! But not yet--oh no! First I must learn +to write a line decently, then a paragraph, then a page. +I must wait, oh, a very long time--ten years perhaps. +Five, anyway." + +"Oh, if you do that," protested Golightly Ticke, "it will +be like decanted champagne. A success at nineteen--" + +"Twenty-one," corrected Elfrida. + +"Twenty-one if you like--is a sparkling success. A +success at thirty-one is--well, it lacks the accompaniments." + +"You are a great deal too exacting, Miss Bell," Rattray +put in; "those things you do for us are charming, you +know they are." + +"You are very good to say so. I'm afraid they're only +frivolous scraps." + +"My opinion is this," Rattray went on sturdily. "You +only want material. Nobody can make bricks without +straw--to sell--and very few people can evolve books out +of the air that any publisher will look at it. You get +material for your scraps, and you treat it unconventionally, +so the scraps supply a demand. It's a demand that's +increasing every day--for fresh, unconventional matter. +Your ability to treat the scraps proves your ability to +do more sustained work if you could find it. Get the +material for a book, and I'll guarantee you'll do it +well." + +Elfrida looked from one to the other with bright eyes. +"What do you suggest?" she said, with a nervous little +laugh. She had forgotten that she meant to wait ten years. + +"That's precisely the difficulty," said Golightly, running +his fingers through his hair. + +"We must get hold of something," said Rattray. "You've +never thought of doing a novel?" + +Elfrida shook her head decidedly. "Not now," she said. +"I would not dare. I haven't looked at life long +enough--I've had hardly any experience at all. I couldn't +conceive a single character with any force or completeness. +And then for a novel one wants a leading idea--the plot, +of course, is of no particular consequence. Rather I +should say plots have merged into leading ideas; and I +have none." + +"Oh, distinctly!" observed Mr. Ticke finely. "A plot is +as vulgar at this end of the century as a--as a dress +improver, to take a feminine simile." + +Rattray looked seriously uncomprehending, and slowly +scratched the back of his hand. "Couldn't you find a +leading idea in some of the modern movements," he asked +--"in the higher education of women, for instance, or +the suffrage agitation?" + +"Or University Extension, or Bimetallism, or Eight Hours' +Labor, or Disestablishment!" Elfrida laughed. "No, Mr. +Rattray, I don't think I could. + +"I might do some essays," she suggested. + +Rattray, tilting his chair back, with his forefingers in +the arm-holes of his waistcoat, pursed his lips "We +couldn't get them read," he said. "It takes a +well-established reputation to carry essays. People will +stand them from a Lang or a Stevenson or that 'Obiter +Dicta' fellow--not from an unknown young lady." + +Elfrida bit her lip. "Of course I am not any of those." + +"Miss Bell has done some idyllic verse," volunteered +Golightly. + +The girl looked at him with serious reprobation. "I did +not give you permission to say that," she said gravely. + +"No--forgive me!--but it's true, Rattray." He searched +in his breast pocket and brought out a diminutive +pocket-book. "May I show those two little things I copied?" +he begged, selecting a folded sheet of letter-paper from +its contents. "This is serious, you know, really. We must +go into all the chances." + +Elfrida had a pang of physical distress. + +"Oh," she said hastily, "Mr. Rattray will not care to +see those. They weren't written for the _Age_, you know," +she added, forcing a smile. + +But Rattray declared that he should like it above all +things, and looked the scraps gloomily over. One Elfrida +had called "A Street Minstrel." Seeing him unresponsive, +Golightly read it gracefully aloud. + + "One late November afternoon + I sudden heard a gentle rune. + + "I could not see whence came the song, + But, tranced, stopped and listened long; + + "And that drear month gave place to May, + And all the city slipped away. + + "The coal-carts ceased their din,--instead + I heard a bluebird overhead; + + "The pavements, black with dismal rain, + Grew greenly to a country lane. + + "Plainly as I see you, my friend, + I saw the lilacs sway and bend, + + "A blossoming apple-orchard where + The chimneys, fret the foggy air, + + "And wide mown fields of clover sweet + Sent up their fragrance at my feet, + + "And once again dear Phyllis sat + The thorn beneath, and trimmed her hat. + + * * * * * * * * + + "Long looked I for my wizard bard-- + I found him on the boulevard. + + "And now my urban hearth he cheers, + Singing all day of sylvan years, + + "Right thankful for the warmer spot-- + A cricket, by July forgot!" + +Ticke looked inquiringly at Rattray when he had finished. +Elfrida turned away her head, and tapped the floor +impatiently with her foot. + +"Isn't that dainty?" demanded Golightly. + +"Dainty enough," Rattray responded, with a bored air. +"But you can't read it to the public, you know. Poetry +is out of the question. Poetry takes genius." + +Golightly and Elfrida looked at each other sympathetically. +Mr. Ticke's eyes said, "How hideously we are making you +suffer," and Elfrida's conveyed a tacit reproach. + +"Travels would do better," Rattray went on. "There's no +end of a market for anything new in travels. Go on a +walking tour through Spain, by yourself, disguised as a +nun or something, and write about what you see." + +Elfrida flushed with pleasure at the reckless idea. A +score of situations rose before her thrilling, dangerous, +picturesque, with a beautiful nun in the foreground. "I +should like it above all things," she said, "but I have +no money." + +"I'm afraid it would take a good deal," Rattray returned. + +"That's a pity." + +"It disposes of the question of travelling, though, for +the present," and Elfrida sighed with real regret. + +"It's your turn, Ticke. Suggest something," Rattray went +on. "It must be unusual and it must be interesting. Miss +Bell must do something that no young lady has done before. +That much she must concede to the trade. Granting that, +the more artistically she does it the better." + +"I should agree to that compromise," said Elfrida eagerly. +"Anything to be left with a free hand." + +"The book should be copiously illustrated," continued +Rattray, "and the illustrations should draw their interest +from you personally." + +"I don't think I should mind that." + +Her imagination was busy at a bound with press criticisms, +pirated American editions, newspaper paragraphs describing +the color of her hair, letters from great magazines asking +for contributions. It leaped with a fierce joy at the +picture of Janet reading these paragraphs, and knowing, +whether she gave or withheld her own approval, that the +world had pronounced in favor of Elfrida Bell. She wrote +the simple note with which she would send a copy to +Kendal, and somewhere in the book there would be things +which he would feel so exquisitely that--The cover should +have a French design and be the palest yellow. There was +a moment's silence while she thought of these things, +her knee clasped in her hands, her eyes blindly searching +the dull red squares of the Llassa prayer-carpet. + +"Rattray," said Golightly, with a suddenness that made +both the others look up expectantly, "could Miss Bell do +her present work for the _Age_ anywhere?" + +"Just now I think it's mostly book reviews--isn't it?--and +comments on odds and ends in the papers of interest to +ladies. Yes--not quite so well out of London; but I dare +say it could be done pretty much anywhere, reasonably +near." + +"Then," replied Golightly Ticke, with a repressed and +guarded air, "I think I've got it." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Three days later a note from Miss Cardiff in Kensington +Square to Miss Bell in Essex Court, Fleet Street, came +back unopened. A slanting line in very violet ink along +the top read "_Out of town for the pressent. M. Jordan._" +Janet examined the line carefully, but could extract +nothing further from it except that it had been written +with extreme care, by a person of limited education and +a taste for color. It occurred to her, in addition, that +the person's name was probably Mary. + +Elfrida's actions had come to have a curious importance +to Janet; she realized how great an importance with the +access of irritated surprise which came to her with, this +unopened note. In the beginning she had found Elfrida's +passionate admiration so novel and so sweet that her +heart was half won before they came, together in completer +intimacy, and she gave her new original friend a meed of +affection which seemed to strengthen as it instinctively +felt itself unreturned--at least in kind. Elfrida +retracted none of her admiration, and she added to it, +when she ceded her sympathy, the freedom of a fortified +city; but Janet hungered for more. Inwardly she cried +out for the something warm and human that was lacking to +Elfrida's feeling for her, and sometimes she asked herself +with grieved cynicism how her friend found it worth while +to pretend to care so cleverly. More than once she had +written to Elfrida with the deliberate purpose of soothing +herself by provoking some tenderness in reply, and +invariably the key she had struck had been that of homage, +more or less whimsically unwilling. "_Don't_ write such +delicious things to me, _ma mie_," would come the answer. +"You make me curl up with envy. What shall I do if malice +and all uncharitableness follow? I admire you so +horribly--there!" Janet told herself sorely that she was +sick of Elfrida's admiration--it was not the stuff +friendships were made of. And a keener pang supervened +when she noticed that whatever savored most of an admiration +on her own part had obviously the highest value for her +friend. The thought of Kendal only heightened her feeling +about Elfrida. She would be so much the stronger, she +thought, to resist any--any strain--if she could be +quite certain how much Elfrida cared--cared about her +personally. Besides, the indictment that she, Janet, had +against her seemed to make the girl's affection absolutely +indispensable. And now Elfrida had apparently left London +without a word. She had dined in Kensington Square the +night before, and this was eleven o'clock in the morning. +It looked very much as if she had deliberately intended +to leave them in the dark as to her movements. People +didn't go out of town indefinitely "for the present," on +an hour's notice. The thought brought sudden tears to +Janet's eyes, which she winked back angrily. "I am getting +to be a perfect old maid!" she reflected. "Why shouldn't +Frida go to Kamschatka, if she wants to, without giving +us notice? It's only her eccentric way of doing things." +And she frowned upon, her sudden resolution to rush off +to Fleet Street in a cab and inquire of Mrs. Jordan. It +would be espionage. She would wait, quit calmly and +indefinitely, till Frida chose to write, and then she +would treat the escapade, whatever it was, with the +perfect understanding of good-fellowship. Or perhaps not +indefinitely--for two or three days--it was just possible +that Frida might have had bad news and started suddenly +for America by the early tram to Liverpool, in which case +she might easily not have had time to write. But in that +case would not Mrs. Jordan have written "Gone to America"? +Her heart stood still with another thought--could she +have gone with Kendal? Granting that she had made up her +mind to marry him, it would be just Elfrida's strange, +sensational way. Janet walked the floor in a restless +agony, mechanically tearing the note into little, strips. +She must know--she must find out. She would write and +ask him for something--for what? A book, a paper--the +_New Monthly_, and she must have some particular reason. +She sat down to write, and pressed her fingers upon her +throbbing eyes in the effort to summon a particular +reason. It was as far from her as ever when the maid +knocked and came in with a note from Kendal asking them +to go to see Miss Rehan in "As You Like It" that evening +--a note fragrant of tobacco, not an hour old. + +"You needn't wait, Jessie," she said. "I'll send an answer +later;" and the maid had hardly left the room before +Janet was sobbing silently and helplessly with her head +on the table. As the day passed however, Elfrida's conduct +seemed less unforgivable, and by dinner-time she was able +to talk of it with simple wonder, which became more +tolerant still in the course of the evening, when she +discovered that Kendal was as ignorant and as astonished +as they themselves. + +"She will write," Janet said hopefully; but a week passed +and Elfrida did not write. A settled disquietude began +to make itself felt between the Cardiffs. Accepting each +other's silence for the statement that Elfrida had sent +no word, they ceased to talk of her--as a topic her +departure had become painful to both of them. Janet's +anxiety finally conquered her scruples, and she betook +herself to Essex Court to inquire of Mrs. Jordan. That +lady was provokingly mysterious, and made the difficulty +of ascertaining that she knew nothing whatever about Miss +Bell's movements as great as possible. Janet saw an +acquaintance with some collateral circumstance in her +eyes, however, and was just turning away irritated by +her vain attempts to obtain it, when Mrs. Jordan, decided +that the pleasure of the revelation would be, after all, +greater than the pleasure of shielding the facts. + +"Wether it 'as anything to do with Miss Bell or not, of +course I can't say," Mrs. Jordan remarked, with +conscientious hypocrisy, "but Mr. Ticke, _he_ left town +that same mornin'." She looked disappointed when Miss +Cardiff received this important detail indifferently. + +"Oh, nothing whatever," Janet replied, with additional +annoyance that Elfrida should have subjected herself to +such an insinuation. Janet had a thoroughgoing dislike +to Golightly Ticke. On her way back in the omnibus she +reflected on the coincidence, however, and in the end +she did not mention it to her father. + +The next day Lawrence Cardiff went to the _Age_ office +and had the good fortune to see Mr. Rattray, who was +flattered to answer questions regarding Miss Bell's +whereabouts, put by any one he knew to be a friend. Mr. +Rattray undertook to apologize for their not hearing of +the scheme, it had matured so suddenly. Miss Bell couldn't +really have had time to do more than pack and start; in +fact, there had been only three days in which to make +all the arrangements. And of course the facts were +confidential, but there was no reason why Miss Bell's +friends should not be in the secret. Then Mr. Rattray +imparted the facts, with a certain conscious gratification. +There had been difficulties, but the difficulties had +been surmounted, and he had heard from Miss Bell that +morning that everything was going perfectly, and she was +getting hold of magnificent copy. He was only sorry it +wouldn't be quite suitable for serial publication in the +_Age_; but, as Professor Cardiff was doubtless aware, +the British public were kittle cattle to shoe behind, +and he hardly thought the _Age_ could handle it. + +"Oh yes," Mr. Cardiff replied absently. "Cheynemouth, +I think you said--for the next five days. Thanks. +Successful? I dare say. The idea is certainly a novel +one. Good-morning!" and he left the sub-editor of the +_Illustrated Age_ in a state of some uncertainty as to +the wisdom of having disclosed so much. Half an hour +later, when Kendal, who knew Rattray fairly well, called +and asked him for Miss Bell's present address, he got it +with some reluctance and fewer details. + +Cardiff drove to his club, and wrote a note to Janet, +asking her to send his portmanteau to the 3.45 train at +Euston, as he intended to run down to Cheynemouth and +might stay over night He fastened up the envelope, then +after a moment's hesitation tore it open and added, "Miss +Bell is attempting a preposterous thing. I am going to +see if it cannot be prevented." He fancied Janet would +understand his not caring to go into particulars in the +meantime. It was because of his aversion to going into +particulars that he sent the note and lunched at the +club, instead of driving home as he had abundance of time +to do. Janet would have to be content with that; it would +be bad enough to have to explain Rattray's intolerable +"scheme" to her when it had been frustrated. After luncheon +he went into the smoking-room and read through three +leading articles with an occasional inkling of their +meaning. At the end of the third he became convinced of +the absurdity of trying to fix his attention upon anything, +and smoked his next Havana with his eyes upon the toe of +his boot, in profound meditation. An observant person +might have noticed that he passed his hand once or twice +lightly, mechanically, over the top of his head; but even +an observant person would hardly have connected the action +with Mr. Cardiff's latent idea that although his hair +might be tinged in a damaging way there was still a good +deal of it. Three o'clock found him standing at the club +window with his hands in his pockets, and the firm-set +lips of a man who has made up his mind, looking unseeingly +into the street. At a quarter past he was driving to the +station in a hansom, smiling at the rosette on the horse's +head, which happened to be a white one. + +"There's Cardiff," said a man who saw him taking his +ticket. "More than ever the _joli garcon!_" + +An hour and a half later one of the somewhat unprepossessing +set of domestics attached to the Mansion Hotel, Cheynemouth, +undertook to deliver Mr. Lawrence Cardiff's card to Miss +Bell. She didn't remember no such name among the young +ladies of the Peach Blossom Company, but she would +h'inquire. They was a ladies' drawin'-room upstairs, if +he would like to sit down. She conducted him to the +ladies' drawing-room, which boasted two pairs of torn +lace curtains, a set of dirty furniture with plush +trimmings, several lithographs of mellow Oriental scenes +somewhat undecidedly poised upon the wall, and a +marble-topped centre-table around which were disposed at +careful intervals three or four copies of last year's +illustrated papers. "You can w'yt'ere, sir," she said, +installing him as it were. "I'll let you know directly." + +At the end of the corridor the girl met Elfrida herself, +who took the card with that quickening of her pulse, that +sudden commotion which had come to represent to her, in +connection with any critical personal situation, one of +the keenest possible sensations of pleasure. "You may tell +the gentleman," she said quietly, "that I will come in +a moment." Then she went back into her own room, closed +the door, and sat down on the side of the bed with a pale +face and eyes that comprehended, laughed, and were withal +a little frightened. That was what she must get rid of, +that feeling of fear, that scent of adverse criticism. +She would sit still 'till she was perfectly calm, perfectly +accustomed to the idea that Lawrence Cardiff had come to +remonstrate with her, and had come because--because what +she had been gradually becoming convinced of all these +months was true. He was so clever, so distinguished, he +had his eyes and his voice and his whole self so perfectly +under control, that she never could be quite, _quite_ +sure--but now! And in spite of herself her heart beat +faster at the anticipation of what he might be waiting +to say to her not twenty steps away. She hid her face in +the pillow to laugh at the thought of how deliciously +the interference of an elderly lover would lend itself +to the piece of work, which she saw in fascinating +development under her hand, and she had an instantaneous +flash of regret that she couldn't use it--no, she couldn't +possibly. With fingers that trembled a little she twisted +her hair into a knot that became her better, and gave an +adjusting pat to the fluffy ends around her forehead. +"Nous en ferons une comedie adorable!" she nodded at the +girl in the glass; and then, with the face and manner of +a child detected in some mischief who yet expects to be +forgiven, she went into the drawing-room. + +At the sight of her all that Cardiff was ready to say +vanished from the surface of his mind. The room was +already gray in the twilight. He drew her by both hands +to the nearest window, and looked at her mutely, +searchingly. It seemed to him that she, who was so quick +of apprehension, ought to know why he had come without +words, and her submission deepened his feeling of a +complete understanding between them. + +"I've washed it all off!" said she naively, lifting her +face to his scrutiny. "It's not an improvement by daylight, +you know." + +He smiled a little, but he did not release her hands. +"Elfrida, you must come home." + +"Let us sit down," she said, drawing them away. He had +a trifle too much advantage, standing so close to her, +tall and firm in the dusk, knowing what he wanted, and +with that tenderness in his voice. Not that she had the +most far-away intention of yielding, but she did not want +their little farce to be spoiled by any complications +that might mar her pleasure in looking back upon it. "I +think," said she, "you will find that a comfortable +chair," and she showed him one which stood where all the +daylight that came through the torn curtains concentrated +itself. From her own seat she could draw her face into +the deepest shadow in the room. She made the arrangement +almost instinctively, and the lines of intensity the last +week had drawn upon Cardiffs face were her first reward. + +"I have come to ask you to give up this thing," he said. + +Elfrida leaned forward a little in her favorite attitude, +clasping her knee. Her eyes were widely serious. "You +ask me to give it up?" she repeated slowly. "But why do +you ask me?" + +"Because I cannot associate it with you--to me it is +impossible that you should do it." + +Elfrida lifted her eyebrows a little. "Do you know why +I am doing it?" she asked. + +"I think so." + +"It is not a mere escapade, you understand. And these +people do not pay me anything. That is quite just, because +I have never learned to act and I haven't much voice. I +can take no part, only just--appear." + +"_Appear!_" Cardiff exclaimed. "Have you appeared!" + +"Seven times," Elfrida said simply, but she felt that +she was blushing. + +Cardiff's anger rose up hotly within him, and strove with +his love, and out of it there came a sickening sense of +impotency which assailed his very soul. All his life he +had had tangibilities to deal with. This was something +in the air, and already he felt the apprehension of being +baffled here, where he wrought for his heart and his +future. + +"So that is a part of it," he said, with tightened lips. +"I did not know." + +"Oh, I insisted upon that," Elfrida replied softly. "I +am quite one of them--one of the young ladies of the +Peach Blossom Company. I am learning all their sensations, +their little frailties, their vocabulary, their ways of +looking at things. I know how the novice feels when she +makes her first appearance in the chorus of a +spectacle--I've noted every vibration of her nerves. I'm +learning all the little jealousies and intrigues among +them, and all their histories and their ambitions. They +are more moral than you may think, but it is not the +moral one who is the most interesting. Her virtue is +generally a very threadbare, common sort of thing. +The--others--have more color in the fabric of their lives, +and you can't think how picturesque their passions are. +One of the chorus girls has two children. I feel a brute +sometimes at the way she--" Elfrida broke off, and looked +out of the window for an instant. "She brings their little +clothes into my bedroom to make--though there is no need, +they are in an asylum. She is divorced from their father," +she went on coolly, "and he is married to the leading +lady. Candidly," she added, looking at him with a courageous +smile, "prejudice apart, is it not magnificent material?" + +A storm of words trembled upon the verge of his lips, +but his diplomacy instinctively sealed them up. "You +can never use it," he said instead. + +"Perfectly! I am not quite sure about the form--whether +I shall write as one of them, or as myself, telling the +story of my experience. But I never dreamed of having +such an opportunity. If I didn't mean to write a word I +should be glad of it--a look into another world, with +its own customs and language and ethics and pleasures +and pains. _Quelle chance!_ + +"And then," she went on, as if to herself, "to be of the +life, the strange, unreal, painted, lime-lighted life +that goes on behind the curtain! That is something--to +act one's part in it, to know that one's own secret role +is a thousand times more difficult than any in the +_repertoire_. Can't you understand?" she appealed. "You +are horribly unresponsive. We won't talk of it any longer." +she added, with a little offended air. "How is Janet?" + +"We must talk of it, Elfrida," Cardiff answered. "Let +me tell you one thing," he added steadily. "Such a book +as you propose writing would be classed as the lowest +sensationalism. People would compare it with the literature +of the police court." + +Elfrida sprang to her feet, with her head thrown back +and-her beautiful eyes alight. "_Touche!_" Cardiff thought +exultingly. + +"You may go too far!" she exclaimed passionately. "There +are some things that may not be said!" + +Cardiff went over to her quickly and took her hand. +"Forgive me," he said. "Forgive me--I am very much in +earnest." + +She turned away from him. "You had no right to say it. +You know my work, and you know that the ideal of it is +everything in the world to me--my religion. How dared you +suggest a comparison between, it and--_cette ordure la!_" + +Her voice broke, and Cardiff fancied she was on the brink +of tears. "Elfrida," he cried miserably, "let us have an +end of this! I have no right to intrude my opinions--if +you like, my prejudices--between you and what you are +doing. But I have come to beg you to give me the right." +He came a step closer and laid his free hand lightly on +her shoulder. "Elfrida," he said unhesitatingly, "I want +you to be my wife." + +"And Janet's stepmother!" thought the girl swiftly. But +she hoped he would not mention Janet; it would burlesque +the situation. + +"Your going away made me quite sure," he added simply. +"I can never do without you altogether again. Instead I +want to possess you altogether." He bent his fine face +to the level of hers, and took both her hands in his. +Elfrida thought that by that light he looked strangely +young. + +She slipped her hands away, but did not move, He was +still very close to her--she could feel his breath upon +her hair. + +"Oh no!" she said. "Marriage is so absurd!" and immediately +it occurred to her that she might have put this more +effectively. "Cela n'est pas bien dit!" she thought. + +"Let us sit down together and talk about it," he answered +gently, and drew her toward the little sofa in the corner. + +"But--I am afraid--there is nothing more to say. And in +a quarter of an hour I must go." + +Cardiff smiled masterfully. "I could marry you, little +one, in a quarter of an hour," he said. + +But at the end of that time Lawrence Cardiff found himself +very far indeed from the altar, and more enlightened +perhaps than he had ever been before about the radicalism +of certain modern sentiments concerning it. She would +change, he averred; might he be allowed to hope that she +would change, and to wait--months, years? She would never +change, Elfrida avowed, it was useless--quite useless--to +think of that. The principle had too deep a root in her +being--to tear it up would be to destroy her whole joy +in life, she said, leaving Cardiff to wonder vaguely what +she meant. + +"I will wait," he said, as she rose to go; "but you will +come back with me now, and we will write a book--some +other book--together." + +The girl laughed gaily. "All alone by myself I must do +it," she answered. "And I must do _this_ book. You will +approve it when it is done. I am not afraid." + +He had her hands again. "Elfrida," he threatened, "if +you go on the stage to-night in the costume I see so +graphically advertised--an Austrian hussar, isn't it?--I +will attend. I will take a box," he added, wondering at +his own brutality. But by any means he must prevail. + +Elfrida turned a shade paler. "You will not do that," +she said gravely. "Good-by. Thank you for having come to +persuade me to give this up. And I wish I could do what +you would like. But it is quite, quite impossible." She +bent over him and touched his forehead lightly with her +lips. "Good-by," she said again, and was gone. + +An hour later he was on his way back to town. As the +mail train whizzed by another, side-tracked to await its +passing, Mr. Cardiff might have seen Kendal, if there +had been time to look, puffing luxuriously in a smoking +compartment, and unfolding a copy of the _Illustrated Age_. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Before he had been back in Norway a week Kendal felt his +perturbation with regard to Elfrida remarkably quieted +and soothed. It seemed to him, in the long hours while +he fished and painted, that in the progress of the little +drama, from its opening act at Lady Halifax's to its +final scene at the studio, he had arrived at something +solid and tangible as the basis of his relation toward +the girl. It had precipitated in him a power of +comprehending her and of criticising her which he had +possessed before only, as it were, in solution. Whatever +once held him from stating to himself the results of his +study of her had vanished, leaving him no name by which +to call it. He found that he could smile at her +whimsicalities, and reflect upon her odd development, +and regret her devouring egotism, without the vision of +her making dumb his voluble thought; and he no longer +regretted the incident that gave him his freedom. He +realized her as he painted her, and the realization +visited him less often, much less often, than before. +Even the fact that she knew what he thought gradually +became an agreeable one. There would be room for no +hypocrisies between them. He wished that Janet Cardiff +could have some such experience. It was provoking that +she should be still so loyally _avengle_; that he would +not be able to discuss Elfrida with her, when he went +back to London, from an impersonal point of view. He had +a strong desire to say precisely what he thought of her +friend to Janet, in which there was an obscure recognition +of a duty of reparation--obscure because he had no overt +disloyalty to Janet to charge himself with, but none the +less present. He saw the intimacy between the two girls +from a new point of view; he comprehended the change the +months had made, and he had a feeling of some displeasure +that Janet Cardiff should have allowed herself to be so +subdued, so seconded in it. + +Kendal came back a day or two before Elfrida's +disappearance, and saw her only once in the meantime. +That was on the evening--which struck him later as one +of purposeless duplicity--before the Peach-Blossom Company +had left for the provinces, when he and Elfrida both +dined at the Cardiffs'. With him that night she had the +air of a chidden child; she was silent and embarrassed, +and now and then he caught a glance which told him in so +many words that she was very sorry, she hadn't meant to, +she would never do it again. He did not for a moment +suspect that it referred to the scene at Lady Halifax's, +and was more than half real. It was not easy to know that +even genuine feeling, with Elfrida, required a cloak of +artifice. He put it down as a pretty pose, and found it +as objectionable as the one he had painted. He was more +curious, perhaps, but less disturbed than either of the +Cardiffs as the days went by and Elfrida made no sign. +He felt, however, that his curiosity was too irreligious +to obtrude upon Janet; besides, his knowledge of her hurt +anxiety kept him within the bounds of the simplest inquiry, +while she, noting his silence, believed him to be eating +his heart out. In the end it was the desire to relieve +and to satisfy Janet that took him to the _Age_ office. +It might be impossible for her to make such inquiries, +he told himself, but no obligation could possibly attach +to him, except--and his heart throbbed affirmatively at +this--the obligation of making Janet happier about it. +He could have laughed, aloud when he heard the scheme +from Rattray's lips--it so perfectly filled out his +picture, his future projection of Elfrida; he almost +assured himself that he had imagined and expected it. +But his desire to relieve Janet was suddenly lost in an +upstarting brood of impulses that took him to the railway +station with the smile still upon his lips. Here was a +fresh development; his interest was keenly awake again, +he would go and verify the facts. When his earlier +intention reoccurred to him in the train, he dismissed +it with the thought that what he had seen would be more +effective, more disillusionizing, than what he had merely +heard. He triumphed in advance over Janet's disillusion, +but he thought more eagerly of the pleasure of proving, +with his own eyes, another step in the working out of +the problem which he believed he had solved in Elfrida. + +"Big house to-night, sir. All the stalls taken," said +the young man with the high collar in the box office when +Kendal appeared before the window. + +"Pit," replied Kendal, and the young man stared. + +"Pit did you say, sir? Well, you'll 'ave to look slippy +or you won't get a seat there either." + +Kendal was glad it was a full house. He began to realize +how very much he would prefer that Elfrida should not +see him there. From his point of view it was perfectly +warrantable--he had no sense of any obligation which +would prevent his adding to his critical observation of +her--but from Miss Bell's? He found himself lacking the +assurance that no importance was to be attached to Miss +Bell's point of view, and he turned up his coat collar +and pulled his hat over his eyes, and seated himself as +obscurely as possible, with a satisfactory sense that +nobody could take him for a gentleman, mingled with a +less agreeable suspicion that it was doubtful whether, +under the circumstances, he had a complete right to the +title. The overture strung him up more pleasureably than +usual, however. He wondered if he should recognize her +at once, and what part she would have. He did not know +the piece, but of course it would be a small one. He +wondered--for, so far as he knew, she had had no experience +of the stage--how she could have been got ready in the +time to take even a small one. Inevitably it would be a +part with three words to say and nothing to sing--probably +a maid-servant's. He smiled as he thought how sincerely +Elfrida would detest such a personation. When the curtain +rose at last Mr. John Kendal searched the stage more +eagerly than the presence there of any mistress of her +art had ever induced him to do before. The first act was +full of gaiety, and the music was very tolerable; but +Kendal, scanning one insistent figure and painted face +after another, heard nothing, in effect, of what was said +or sung--he was conscious only of a strong disappointment +when it was over and Elfrida had not appeared. + +The curtain went up again to a quick-step, to clinking +steel, and the sound of light marching feet. An instant +after forty young women were rhythmically advancing and +retreating before the footlights, picturesquely habited +in a military costume comprising powdered wigs, +three-cornered hats, gold-embroidered blue coats, +flesh-colored tights, and kid top-boots, which dated +uncertainly from the middle ages. They sang, as they +crossed their varyingly shapely legs, stamped their feet, +and formed into figures no drill-book ever saw, a chorus +of which the refrain was + + "Oh, it never matters, matters, + Though his coat be tatters, tatters, + His good sword rust-incrusted and his songs all sung, + The maids will flatter, flatter, + And foes will scatter, scatter, + For a soldier is soldier while his heart is young," + +the last line accompanied by a smiling flirt of their +eyes over their shoulders and a kick to the rear as they +wheeled, which evoked the unstinted appreciation of the +house. The girls had the unvarying pink-and-white surfaces +of their profession, but under it they obviously differed +much, and the age and emaciation and ugliness among them +had its common emphasis in the contrast of their smart +masculine attire with the distressingly feminine outlines +of their figures. "I should have thought it impossible +to make a woman absolutely hideous by a dress that revealed +her form," said Kendal to himself, as the jingling and +the dancing and the music went on in the glare before +him, "but, upon my word--" He paused suddenly. She wasn't +absolutely hideous, that tall girl with the plume and +the sword, who maneuvered always in front of the +company--the lieutenant in charge. Indeed, she was comely +every way, slight and graceful, and there was a singular +strong beauty in her face, which was enhanced by the +rouge and the powder, and culminated in the laugh in her +eyes and upon her lips--a laugh which meant enjoyment, +excitement, exhilaration. + +It grew upon Kendal that none of the chorus girls approached +Elfrida in the abandon with which they threw themselves +into the representation--that all the others were more +conscious than she of the wide-hipped incongruity of +their role. To the man who beheld her there in an +absolutely new world of light and color and course jest +it seemed that she was perfectly oblivious of any other, +and that her personality was the most aggressive, the +most ferociously determined to be made the most of, on +the stage. As the chorus ceased a half-grown youth remarked +to his companion in front, "But the orficer's the one, +Dave! Ain't she fly!" and the words coming out distinctly +in the moment of after-silence when the applause was +over, set the pit laughing for two or three yards around. +Whereat Kendal, with an assortment of feelings which he +took small pleasure in analyzing later, got up and went +out. People looked up angrily at him as he stumbled over +their too numerous feet in doing so--he was spoiling a +solo of some pathos by Mr. Golightly Ticke in the character +of a princely refugee, a fur-trimmed mantle, and shoes +with buckles. + +Kendal informed himself with some severity that no possible +motive could induce him to make any comment upon Miss +Bell to Janet, and found it necessary to go down into +Devonshire next day, where his responsibilities had begun +to make a direct and persistent attack upon him. It was +the first time he had yielded, and he could not help +being amused by the remembrance, in the train, of Elfrida's +solemn warning about the danger of his growing typical +and going into Parliament. A middle-aged country gentleman +with broad shoulders and a very red neck occupied the +compartment with him, and handled the _Times_ as if the +privilege of reading it were one of the few the democratic +spirit of the age had left to his class. Kendal scanned +him with interest and admiration and pleasure. It was an +excellent thing that England's backbone should be composed +of men like that, he thought and he half wished he were +not so consciously undeserving of national vertebral +honors himself--that Elfrida's warnings had a little more +basis of probability. Not that he wanted to drop his +work, but a man owed something to his country, especially +when he had what they called a stake in it--to establish +a home perhaps, to marry, to have children growing up +about him. A man had to think of his old age. He told +himself that he must be the lightest product of a flippant +time, since these things did not occur to him more +seriously; and he threw himself into all that had to be +done upon "the place," when he arrived at it, with an +energy that disposed its real administrators to believe +that his ultimate salvation as a landlord was still +possible. + +He was talking to Janet Cardiff at one of Lady Halifax's +afternoon teas a fortnight later, when their hostess +advanced toward them interrogatively. "While I think of +it, Janet," said she laying a mittened hand on Miss +Cardiff's arm, "what has become of your eccentric little +American friend? I sent her a card a month ago, and we've +neither heard nor seen anything of her." + +"Elfrida Bell--oh, she's out of town, Lady Halifax, and +I am rather desolate without her--we see so much of her, +you know. But she will be back soon--I dare say I will +be able to bring her next Thursday. How delicious this +coffee is! I shall have another cup, if it keeps me awake +for a week. Oh, you got my note about the concert, dear +lady?" + +Kendal noticed the adroitness of her chatter with amusement. +Before she had half finished Lady Halifax had taken an +initial step toward moving off, and Janet's last words +received only a nod and a smile for reply. + +"You know, then?" said he, when that excellent woman was +safely out of earshot. + +"Yes, I know," Janet answered, twisting the hanging end +of her long-haired boa about her wrist. "I feel as if +I oughtn't to, but daddy told me. Daddy went, you know, +to try to persuade her to give it up. I _was_ so angry +with him for doing it. He might have known Elfrida +better. And it was such a--Such a criticism!" + +"I wish you would tell me-what you really think," said +Kendal audaciously. + +Janet sipped her coffee nervously. "I--I have no right +to think," she returned. "I am not in Frida's confidence +in the matter. But of course she is perfectly right, +from, her point of view." + +"Ah!" Kendal said, "her point of view." + +Janet looked up at him with a sudden perception of the +coldness of his tone. In spite of herself it gave her +keen happiness, until the reflection came that probably +he resented her qualification, and turned her heart to +lead. She searched her soul for words. + +"If she wants to do this thing, she has taken, of course, +the only way to do it well. She does not need any +justification--none at all. I wish she were back," Janet +went on desperately, "but only for my own sake--I don't +like being out of it with her; not for any reason connected +with what she is doing." + +There was an appreciable pause between them. "Let me +put down your cup," suggested Kendal. + +Turning to her again, he said gravely, "I saw Miss Bell +at Cheynemouth, too." Janet's hands trembled as she +fastened the fur at her throat. "And I also wish she +were back. But my reason is not, I am afraid, so simple +as yours." + +"Here is daddy," Janet answered, "and I know he wants to +go. I don't think my father is looking quite as well as +he ought to. He doesn't complain, but I suspect him of +concealed neuralgia. Please give him a lecture upon +over-doing--it's the predominant vice of his character!" + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +Elfrida spent five weeks with the Peach Blossom Company +on their provincial tour, and in the end the manager was +sorry to lose her. He was under the impression that she +had joined them as an aspiring novice, presumably able +to gratify that or any other whim. He had guessed that +she was clever, and could see that she was extremely +good-looking. Before the month was out he was congratulating +himself upon his perception much as Rattray had a habit +of doing, and was quite ready to give Elfrida every +encouragement she wanted to embrace the burlesque stage +seriously--it was a thundering pity she hadn't voice +enough for comic opera. He had nothing to complain of; +the arrangement had been for a few weeks only, and had +cost him the merest trifle of travelling expenses; but +the day Elfrida went back to town he was inclined to +parley with her, to discuss the situation, and to make +suggestions for her future plan of action. His attitude +of visible regret added another thrill to the joy the +girl had in the thought of her undertaking; it marked a +point of her success, she thought, at least so far as +preliminaries went. Already, as she shrank fastidiously +into the corner of a third-class travelling-carriage, +her project seemed to have reached its original and +notable materialization. Chapters passed before her eyes +as they do sometimes in dreams, full of charm and beauty; +the book went through every phase of comedy and pathos, +always ringing true. Little half-formed sentences of +admirable art rose before her mind, and she hastily barred +them out, feeling that she was not ready yet, and it +would be mad misery to want them and to have forgotten +them. The thought of what she meant to do possessed her +wholly, though, and she resigned herself to dreams of +the most effective arrangement of her material, the +selection of her publisher, the long midnight hours alone +with Buddha, in which she should give herself up to the +enthralment of speaking with that voice which she could +summon, that elusive voice which she lived only, only to +be the medium for--that precious voice which would be +heard one day, yes, and listened-to. + +She was so freshly impressed with the new life-lights, +curious, tawdry, fascinating, revolting, above all sharp +and undisguised, of the world she had left, that she saw +them already projected with a verisimilitude which, if +she had possessed the art of it, would have made her +indeed famous. Her own power of realization, assured her +on this point--nobody could see, not divine but _see_, +as she did, without being able to reproduce; the one +implied the other. She fingered feverishly the strap of +the little hand-bag in her lap, and satisfied herself by +unlocking it with a key that hung on a String inside her +jacket. It had two or three photographs of the women she +knew among the company, another of herself in her stage +uniform, a bill of the play, her powder-puff and rouge-box, +a scrap of gold lace, a young Jew's letter full of blots +and devotion, a rather vulgar sapphire bracelet, some +artificial flowers, and a quantity of slips of paper of +all sizes covered with her own enigmatically rounded +handwriting. She put her hand in carefully and +searched--everything was there; and up from the bag came +a scent that made her shut her eyes and laugh with its +power to bring her experiences back to her. She locked +it; carefully again with a quivering sigh--after all she +would not have many hours to wait. Presently an idea came +to her that she thought worth keeping, and she thrust +her hand into her pocket for paper and pencil. She drew +out a crumpled oblong scrap and wrote on the back of it, +then unlocked the little bag again and put it carefully +in. Before it had been only the check of the _Illustrated +Age_ for a fortnight's work; now it was the record of +something valuable. + +The train rolled into a black and echoing station as the +light in the carriage began to turn from the uncertain +grayness that came in at the window to the uncertain +yellowness that descended from the roof. Boys ran up and +down the length of the platform in the foggy gaslit +darkness shouting Banbury cakes and newspapers. Elfrida +hated Banbury cakes, but she had a consuming hunger and +bought some. She also hated English newspapers, but lately +some queer new notable Australian things had been appearing +in the _St. George's Gazette_--Cardiff had sent them to +her--and she selected this journal from the damp lot that +hung, over the newsboy's arm, on the chance of a fresh +one. The doors were locked and the train hurried on. +Elfrida ate two of her Banbury cakes with the malediction +that only this British confection can inspire, and bestowed +the rest upon a small boy who eyed her enviously over +the back of an adjoining seat She and the small boy and +his mother had the carriage to themselves. + +There was nothing from the unusual Australian contributor +in this number of the _St. George's_, and Elfrida turned +its pages with the bored feeling of knowing what else +she might expect. "Parliamentary Debates," of course, +and the news of London, five lines from America announcing +the burning of a New York hotel with hideous loss of +life, an article on the situation in Persia, and one on +the cultivation of artichokes, "Money," "The Seer of +Hawarden," the foreign markets--book reviews. Elfrida +thought also that she knew what she might expect here, +and that it would be nothing very absorbing. Still, with +a sense of tasting criticism in advance, she let her eye +travel over the column or two the paper devoted to three +or four books of the week. A moment later Janet Cardiff's +name in the second paragraph had sprung at her throat, +it seemed to Elfrida, and choked her. + +She could not see--she could not see! The print was so +bad, the light was infernal, the carriage jolted so. She +got up and held the paper nearer to the lamp in the roof, +staying herself against the end of a seat. As she read +she grew paler, and the paper shook in her hand. "One of +the valuable books of the year," "showing grasp of +character and keen dramatic instinct," "a distinctly +original vein," "too slender a plot for perfect symmetry, +but a treatment of situation at once nervous and strong," +were some of the commonplaces that said themselves over +and again in her mind as she sank back into her place by +the window with the paper lying across her lap. + +Her heart beat furiously, her head was in a whirl; she +stared hard, for calmness, into the swift-passing night +outside. Presently she recognized herself to be angry +with an intense still jealous anger that seemed to rise +and consume her in every part of her being. A success--of +course it would be a success if Janet wrote it--she was +not artistic enough to fail. Ah, should Janet's friend +go so far as to say that? She didn't know--she would +think afterward; but Janet was of those who succeed, and +there were more ways than one of deserving success. Janet +was a compromise; she belonged really to the British +public and the class of Academy studies from the nude +which were always draped, just a little. Elfrida found +a bitter satisfaction in this simile, and elaborated it. +The book would be one to be commended for _jeunes filles_, +and her lips turned down mockingly in the shadow. She +fancied some well-meaning critic saying, "It should be +on every drawing-room table," and she almost laughed +outright. She thought of a number of other little things +that might be said, of the same nature and equally amusing. +Her anger flamed up again at the thought of how Janet +had concealed this ambition from her, had made her, in +a way, the victim of it. It was not fair--not fair! She +could have prepared herself against it; she might have +got _her_ book ready sooner, and its triumphant editions +might at least have come out side by side with Janet's. +She was just beginning to feel that they were neck and +neck, in a way, and now Janet had shot so far ahead, in +a night, in a paragraph. She could never, never catch +up! And from under her closed eyelids two hot tears +started and ran over her cold cheeks. It came upon her +suddenly that she was sick with jealousy, not envy, but +pure anger at being distanced, and she tried to attack +herself about it. With a strong effort she heaped opprobrium +and shame upon herself, denounced herself, tried to hate +herself. But she felt that it was all a kind of dumb-show, +and that under it nothing could change the person she +was or the real feeling she had about this--nothing except +being first. Ah! then she could be generous and loyal +and disinterested; then she could be really a nice person +to know, she derided herself. And as her foot touched +the little hand-bag on the floor she took a kind of sullen +courage, which deserted her when she folded the paper on +her lap and was struck again in the face with Lash and +Black's advertisement on the outside page announcing +Janet's novel in letters that looked half a foot long. +Then she resigned herself to her wretchedness till the +train sped into the glory of Paddington. + +"I hope you're not bad, miss," remarked the small boy's +mother as they pushed toward the door together; "them +Banburys don't agree with everybody." + +The effect upon Elfrida was hysterical. She controlled +herself just long enough to answer with decent gravity, +and escaped upon the platform to burst into a silent +quivering paroxysm of laughter that brought her overcharged +feeling delicious relief, and produced an answering smile +on the face of a large, good-looking policeman. Her laugh +rested her, calmed her, and restored something of her +moral tone. She was at least able to resist the temptation +of asking the boy at the book-stall where she bought +"John Camberwell" whether the volume was selling rapidly +or not. Buddha looked on askance while she read it, all +night long and well into the morning. She reached the +last page and flung down the book in pure physical +exhaustion, with the framework of half a dozen reviews +in her mind. When she awoke, at two in the afternoon, +she decided that she must have another day or two of +solitude; she would not let the Cardiffs know she had +returned quite yet. + +Three days afterward the _Illustrated Age_ published a +review of "John Camberwell" which brought an agreeable +perplexity to Messrs. Lash and Black. It was too good to +compress, and their usual advertising space would not +contain it all. It was almost passionately appreciative; +here and there the effect of criticism was obviously +marred by the desire of the writer to let no point of +beauty or of value escape divination. Quotations from +the book were culled like flowers, with a delicate hand; +and there was conspicuous care in the avoidance of any +phrase that was hackneyed, any line of criticism that +custom had impoverished. It seemed that the writer +fashioned a tribute, and strove to make it perfect in +every way. And so perfect it was, so cunningly devised +and gracefully expressed, with such a self-conscious +beauty of word and thought, that its extravagance went +unsuspected, and the interest it provoked was its own. + +Janet read the review in glow of remorseful affection. +She was appealed to less by the exquisite manipulation +with which the phrases strove to say the most and the +best, than by the loyal haste to praise she saw behind, +them, and she forgave their lack of blame in the happy +belief that Elfrida had not the heart for it. She was +not in the least angry that her friend should have done +her the injustice of what would have been, less adroitly +managed, indiscriminate praise; in fact, she hardly +thought of the value of the critique at all, so absorbed +was she in the sweet sense of the impulse that made +Elfrida write it. To Janet's quick forgiveness it made +up for everything; indeed, she found in it a scourge for +her anger, for her resentment. Elfrida might do what she +pleased, Janet would never cavil again; she was sure now +of some real possession in her friend. But she longed to +see Elfrida, to assure herself of the warm verity of +this. Besides, she wanted to feel her work in her friend's +presence, to extract the censure that was due, to take +the essence of praise from her eyes and voice and hand. +But she would wait. She had still no right to know that +Elfrida had returned, and an odd sensitiveness prevented +her from driving instantly to Essex Court to ask. + +The next day passed, and the next. Lawrence Cardiff found +no reason to share his daughter's scruples, and went +twice, to meet Mrs. Jordan on the threshold with the +implacable statement that Miss Bell had returned but was +not at home. He found it impossible to mention Elfrida +to Janet now. + +John Kendal had gone back to Devonshire to look after +the thinning of a bit of his woodlands--one thing after +another claimed his attention there. Janet had a gay +note from him now and then, always _en camarade_, in +which he deplored himself in the character of an intelligent +land-owner, but in which she detected also a growing +interest and satisfaction in all that he was finding to +do. Janet saw it always with a throb of pleasure; his +art was much to her, but the sympathy that bound him to +the practical side of his world was more, though she +would not have confessed it. She was unconsciously +comforted by the sense that it was on the warm, bright, +comprehensible side of his interest in life that she +touched him--and that Elfrida did not touch him. The idea +of the country house in Devonshire excluded Elfrida, and +it was an exclusion Janet could be happy in conscientiously, +since Elfrida did not care. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Even in view of her popular magazine articles and her +literary name Janet's novel was a surprising success. +There is no reason why we should follow the example of +all the London critics except Elfrida Bell, and go into +the detail of its slender story, and its fairly original, +broadly human qualities of treatment, to explain this; +the fact will, perhaps, be accepted without demonstration. +It was a common phrase among the reviewers--though Messrs. +Lash and Black carefully cut it out of their selections +for advertisement--that the book with all its merits was +in no way remarkable; and the publishers were as much +astonished as anybody else when the first edition was +exhausted in three weeks. Yet the agreeable fact remained +that the reviewers gave it the amount of space usually +assigned to books allowed to be remarkable, and that the +_Athenian_ announced the second edition to be had "at +all book-sellers'" on a certain Monday. "When they say +it is not remarkable," wrote Kendal to Janet, "they mean +that it is not heroic, and that it is published in one +volume, at six shillings. To be remarkable--to the +trade--it should have dealt with epic passion, in three +volumes, at thirty." + +To him the book had a charm quite apart from its literary +value, in the revelation it made of its author. It was +the first piece of work Janet had done from a seriously +artistic point of view, into which she had thrown herself +without fence or guard, and it was to him as if she had +stepped from behind a mask. He wrote to her about it +with the confidence of the new relation it established +between them; he looked forward with warm pleasure to +the closer intimacy which it would bring. To Janet, living +in this new sweetness of their better understanding, only +one thing was lacking--Elfrida made no sign. If Janet +could have known, it was impossible. In her review Elfrida +had done all she could. She had forced herself to write +it before she touched a line of her own work, and now, +persistently remote in her attic, she strove every night +over the pile of notes which represented the ambition +that sent its roots daily deeper into the fibre of her +being. Twice she made up her mind to go to Kensington +Square, and found she could not--the last time being the +day the _Decade_ said that a new and larger edition of +"John Camberwell" was in preparation. + +Ten days after her return the maid at Kensington Square, +with a curious look, brought up Elfrida's card to Janet. +Miss Bell was in the drawing-room, she said. Yes, she +had told Miss Bell Miss Cardiff was up in the library, +but Miss Bell said she would wait in the drawing-room. + +Janet looked at the card in astonishment, debating with +herself what it might mean--such a formality was absurd +between them. Why had not Elfrida come up at once to this +third-story den of theirs she knew so well? What new +preposterous caprice was this? She went down gravely, +chilled; but before she reached the drawing-room door +she resolved to take it another way, as a whim, as matter +for scolding. After all, she was glad Elfrida had come +back to her on any terms. She went in radiant, with a +quick step, holding the card at arm's length. + +"To what," she demanded mockingly, "am I to attribute +the honor of this visit?" but she seized Elfrida lightly +and kissed her on both cheeks before it was possible for +her to reply. + +The girl disengaged herself gently. "Oh I have come, like +the rest, to lay my homage at your feet," she said, with +a little smile that put spaces between them. "You did +not expect me to deny myself that pleasure?" + +"Don't be absurd, Frida. When did you come back to town?" + +"When did I come back?" Elfrida repeated slowly, watching +for the effect of her words. "On the first, I think it was." + +"And this is the tenth!" Janet exclaimed; adding helplessly, +"You _are_ an enigma! Why didn't you let me know?" + +"How could I suppose that you would care to know anything +just now--except what the papers tell you." + +Janet regarded her silently, saying nothing. Under her +look Elfrida's expression changed a little, grew +uncomfortable. The elder girl felt the chill, the +seriousness with which she received the card upstairs, +return upon her suddenly, and she became aware that she +could not, with self-respect, fight it any longer. + +"If you thought that," she said gravely, "it was a curious +thing to think. But I believe I am indebted to you for +one of the pleasantest things the papers have been telling +me," she went on, with constraint. "It was very kind--much +too kind. Thank you very much." + +Elfrida looked up, half frightened at the revulsion of +her tone. "But--but your book is delightful. I was no +more charmed than everybody must be. And it has made a +tremendous hit, hasn't it?" + +"Thanks, I believe it is doing a fair amount of credit +to its publishers. They are very pushing people." + +"How delicious it must feel!" Elfrida said. Her words +were more like those of their ordinary relation, but her +tone and manner had the aloofness of the merest +acquaintance. Janet felt a slow anger grow up in her. It +was intolerable, this dictation of their relation. Elfrida +desired a change--she should have it, but not at her +caprice. Janet's innate dominance rose up and asserted +a superior right to make the terms between them, and all +the hidden jar, the unacknowledged contempt, the irritation, +the hurt and the stress of the year that had passed rushed +in from banishment and gained possession of her. She took +just an appreciable instant to steady herself, and then +her gray eyes regarded Elfrida with a calm remoteness in +them which gave the other girl a quick impression of +having done more than she meant to do, gone too far to +return. Their glances met, and Elfrida's eyes, unquiet +and undecided, dropped before Janet's. Already she had +a vibrant regret. + +"You enjoyed being out of town, of course," Janet said. +"It is always pleasant to leave London for a while, I +think." + +There was a cool masterfulness in the tone of this that +arrested Elfrida's feeling of half-penitence, and armed +her instantly. Whatever desire she had felt to assert +and indulge her individuality at any expense, in her own +attitude there had been the consciousness of what they +owed one another. She had defied it, perhaps, but it had +been there. In this it was ignored; Janet had gone a step +further--her tone expressed the blankest indifference. +Elfrida drew herself up. + +"Thanks, it was delightful. An escape from London always +is, as you say. Unfortunately, one is obliged to come +back." + +Janet laughed lightly. "Oh, I don't know that I go so +far as that. I rather like coming back too. And you have +missed one or two things, you know, by being away." + +"The Lord Mayor's Show?" asked Elfrida, angry that she +could not restrain the curl of her lip. + +"Oh dear, no! That comes off in November--don't you +remember? Things at the theatres chiefly. Oh, Jessie, +Jessie!" she went on, shaking her head at the maid who +had come in with the tray, "you're a quarter of an hour +late with tea! Make it for us now, where you are, and +remember that Miss Bell doesn't like cream." + +The maid blushed and smiled under the easy reproof, and +did as she was told. Janet chatted on pleasantly about +the one or two first nights she had seen, and Elfrida +felt for a moment that the situation was hopelessly +changed. She had an intense, unreasonable indignation. +The maid had scarcely left the room when her blind search +for means of retaliation succeeded. + +"But one is not necessarily wholly Without diversions in +the provinces. I had, for instance, the pleasure of a +visit from Mr. Cardiff." + +"Oh yes, I heard of that," Janet returned, smiling. "My +father thought that we were being improperly robbed of +your society, and went to try to persuade you to return, +didn't he? I told him I thought it a shocking liberty; +but you ought to forgive him--on the ground of his +disappointment." + +The cup Elfrida held shook in its saucer, and she put it +down to silence it. Janet did not know, did not suspect, +then. Well, she should; her indifference was too maddening. + +"Under the circumstances it was not a liberty at all. +Mr. Cardiff wanted me to come back to marry him." + +There! It was done, and as brutally as possible. Her +vanity was avenged--she could have her triumphs too. And +instant with its gratification came the cold recoil of +herself upon herself, a sense of shame, a longing to +undo. + +Janet took the announcement with the very slightest +lifting of her eyebrows. She bent her head and stirred +her teacup meditatively, then looked up gravely at Elfrida. + +"Really?" she said. "And may I ask--whether you _have_ +come back for that?" + +"I--I hardly know," Elfrida faltered. "You know what I +think about marriage--there is so much to consider." + +"Doubtless," Janet returned. Her head was throbbing with +the question why this girl would not go--go--_go!_ How +had she the hardihood to stay another instant! At any +moment her father might come in, and then how could she +support the situation? But all she added was, "I am afraid +it is a matter which we cannot very well discuss." Then +a bold thought came to her, and without weighing it she +put it into words. The answer might put everything +definitely--so definitely--at an end. + +"Mr. Kendal went to remonstrate with you, too, didn't +he? It must have been very troublesome and embarrassing--" + +Janet stopped. Elfrida had turned paler, and her eyes +greatened with excitement. "_No,_" she said, "I did not +see Mr. Kendal. What do you mean? Tell me!" + +"Perhaps I have no right. But he told me that he had seen +you, at Cheynemouth." + +"He must have been in the audience," Elfrida returned, +in a voice that was hardly audible. + +"Perhaps." + +For a moment there was silence between them--a natural +silence, and no dumbness. They had forgotten about +themselves in the absorption of other thoughts. + +"I must go," Elfrida said, with an effort; rising. What +had come to her with this thing Janet had told her? Why +had she this strange fullness in the beating of her heart, +this sense, part of shame, part of fright, part of +happiness, that had taken possession of her? What had +become of her strained feeling about Janet? For it had +gone, gone utterly, and with it all her pride, all her +self-control. She was conscious only of a great need of +somebody's strength, of somebody's thought and interest +--of Janet's. Yet how could she unsay anything? She held +out her hand, and Janet took it. "Good-by, then," she +said. + +"Good-by; I hope you will escape the rain." But at the +door Elfrida turned and came back. Janet was mechanically +stirring the coals in the grate. + +"Listen!" she said. "I want to tell you something about +myself." + +Janet looked up with an inward impatience. She knew these +little repentant self-revealings so well. + +"I know I'm a beast--I can't help it. Ever since I heard +of your success I've been hating it! You can laugh if +you like, but I've been _jealous_--oh, I'm not deceived; +very well, we are acquainted, myself and I! It's pure +jealousy--I admit it. I despise it, but there it is. You +have everything; you succeed in _all_ the things you +do--you suffocate me--do you understand? _Always_ the +first place, always the attention, the consideration, +wherever we go together. And your pretence--your _lie_ +--of believing my work as good as yours! I believe it +--yes, I do, but you _do not_. Oh, I know you through +and through, Janet Cardiff! And altogether," she went on +passionately, "it has been too much for me. I have not +been able to govern it. I have yielded, _miserable_ that +I am. But just now I felt it going away from me, Janet--" +She paused, but there was no answer. Janet was looking +contemplatively into the fire. + +"And I made up my mind to say it straight out. It is +better so, don't you think?" + +"Oh yes, it is better so." + +"I hate you sometimes--when you suffocate me with your +cleverness--but I admire you _tremendously_ always. So +I suppose we can go on, can't we?" + +"Ah!" Elfrida cried, noting Janet's hesitation with a +kind of wonder--how should it be exacted of her to be +anything more than frank? "I will go a step further to +come back to you, my Janet. I will tell you a secret--the +first one I ever had. Don't be afraid that I shall become +your stepmother and hate me in advance. That is too +absurd!" and the girl laughed ringingly. "Because--I +believe I am in love with John Kendal!" + +For answer Janet turned to her with the look of one +pressed to the last extremity. "Is it true that you are +going to write your own experiences in the _corps de +ballet?_" she asked ironically. + +"Quite true. I have done three chapters already. What +do you think of it? Isn't it a good idea?" + +"Do you really want to know?" + +"Of course!" + +"I think," said Janet slowly, looking into the fire, +"that the scheme is a contemptible one, and that you are +doing a very poor sort of thing in carrying it out." + +"Thanks," Elfrida returned. "We are all pretty much alike, +we women, aren't we, after all! Only some of us say so +and some of us don't. But I shouldn't have thought you +would have objected to my small rivalry _before the +fact!_" + +Janet sighed wearily, and looked out of the window. "Let +me lend you an umbrella," she said; "the rain has come." + +"It won't be necessary, thanks," Elfrida returned. "I +hear Mr. Cardiff coming upstairs. I shall ask him to take +care of me as far as the omnibuses. Good-by!" + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +"Oh but--but," cried Elfrida, tragic-eyed, "you don't +understand, my friend. And these pretences of mine are +unendurable--I won't make another. This is the real +reason why I can't go to your house: Janet knows +--everything there is to know. I told her--I myself--in +a fit of rage ten days ago, and then she said things and +I said things, and--and there is nothing now between us +any more!" + +Lawrence Cardiff looked grave. "I am sorry for that," he +said. + +A middle-aged gentleman in apparently hopeless love does +not confide in his grown-up daughter, and Janet's father +had hardly thought of her seriously in connection with +this new relation, which was to him so precarious and so +sweet. Its realization had never been close enough for +practical considerations; it was an image, something in +the clouds; and if he still hoped and longed for its +materialization there were times when he feared even to +regard it too closely lest it should vanish. His first +thought at this announcement of Elfrida's was of what it +might signify of change, what bearing it had upon her +feeling, upon her intention. Then he thought of its +immediate results, which seemed to be unfortunate. But +in the instant he had for reflection he did not consider +Janet at all. + +"Ah, yes! It was contemptible--but _contemptible!_ I did +it partly to hurt her, and partly, I think, to gratify +my vanity. You would not have thought anything so bad of +me perhaps?" She looked up at him childishly. They were +strolling about the quiet spaces of the Temple Courts. +It was a pleasant afternoon in February, the new grass +was pushing up. They could be quite occupied with one +another--they had the place almost to themselves. +Elfrida's well-fitting shabby little jacket hung unbuttoned, +and she swung Cardiff's light walking-stick as they +sauntered. He, with his eyes on her delicately flushed +face and his hands unprofessorially in his pockets, was +counting the minutes that were left them. + +"You wouldn't have, would you?" she insisted. + +"I would think any womanly fault you like of you," he +laughed, "but one--the fear to confess it." + +Elfrida shut her lips with a little proud smile. "Do +you know," she said confidingly, "when you say things +like that to me I like you very much--but _very much!_" + +"But not enough," he answered her quickly, "never enough, +Frida?" + +The girl's expression changed. "You are not to call me +'Frida,'" she said, frowning a little. "It has an +association that will always be painful to me. When +people--disappoint me, I try to forget them in every way +I can." She paused, and Cardiff saw that her eyes were +full of tears. He had an instant of intense resentment +against his daughter. What brutality had she been guilty +of toward Elfrida in that moment of unreasonable jealousy +that surged up between them? He would fiercely like to +know. But Elfrida was smiling again, looking up at him +in wilful disregard of her wet eyes. + +"Say 'Elfrida' please--all of it." + +They had reached the Inner Temple Hall. "Let us go in +there and sit down," he suggested. "You must be tired--dear +child." + +She hesitated and submitted. "Yes, I am," she said. +Presently they were sitting on one of the long dark +polished wooden benches in the quiet and the rich light +the ages have left in this place, keeping a mutual moment +of silence. "How splendid it is!" Elfrida said restlessly, +looking at the great carved wooden screen they had come +through. + +"The man who did that had a joy in his life, hadn't he? +To-day is very cheap and common, don't you think?" + +He had hardly words to answer her vague question, so +absorbed was he in the beauty and the grace and the +interest with which she had suddenly invested the +high-backed corner she sat in. He felt no desire to +analyze her charm. He did not ask himself whether it was +the poetry of her eyes and lips, or her sincerity about +herself, or the joy in art that was the key to her soul, +or all of these, or something that was none of them. He +simply allowed himself to be possessed by it and Elfrida +saw his pleasure in his eager look and in every line of +his delicate features. It was delicious to be able to +give such pleasure, she thought. She felt like a thrice +spiritualized Hebe, lifting the cup, not to Jove, but to +a very superior mortal. She wished in effect, as she +looked at him, that he were of her essence--she might be +cup-bearer to him always then. It was a graceful and +unexacting occupation. But he was not absolutely, and +the question was how long--She started as he seemed to +voice her thought. + +"This can't go on, Elfrida!" + +Cardiff had somehow possessed himself of her hand as it +lay along the polished edge of the wooden seat. It was +a privilege, she permitted him sometimes, with the tacit +understanding that he was not to abuse it. + +"And why not--for a little while? It is pleasant, I +think." + +"If you were in love you would know why. You are not, I +know--you needn't say so. But it will come, Elfrida--only +give it the chance. I would stake my soul on the certainty +of being able to make you love me." His confidence in +the power of his own passion was as strong as a boy's of +twenty. + +"If I were in love!" Elfrida repeated slowly, with an +absent smile. "And you think it would come afterward. +That is an exploded idea, my friend. I should feel as +if I were acting out an old-fashioned novel--an +old-fashioned _second-rate_ novel." + +She looked at him with eyes that invited him to share +their laughter, but the smile he gave her was pitiful, +if she could have known it. The strain she had bee putting +upon him, and promised indefinitely to put upon him, was +growing greater than he could bear. + +"I am afraid I most ask you to decide," he said. "You +have been telling me two things, dear. One thing with +your lips and another thing with your eyes--and ways of +doing. You tell me that I, must go, but you make it +possible for me to stay. For God's sake let it be one or +the other." + +"I am so sorry. We could be friends of a sort, I think, +but I can't marry you." + +"You have never told me why." + +"Shall I tell you truly, literally--brutally?" + +"Of course!" + +"Then it is not only because I don't love you--that there +is not for me the common temptation to enter a form of +bondage which, as I see it, is hateful. That is enough, +but it is not all; it is not even the principal thing. +It is"--she hesitated--"it is that--that we are different, +you and I. It would-be preposterous," she went on hastily, +"not to admit that you are infinitely superior--of +course--and cleverer and wiser and more important in the +world. And that will make me absurd in your eyes when I +tell you that my whole life is wrapped up in a sense +which I cannot see or feel that you have at all. You have +much--oh, a great deal--outside of it, and I have nothing. +My life is swayed in obedience to laws that you do not +even know of. You can hardly be my friend, completely. +As your wife I should suffer and you would suffer, in a +false position which could never be altered." + +She paused and looked at him seriously, and he felt that +she believed what she had said. She had, at all events, +given him full permission to go. And he was as far from +being able to avail of himself of it as he had been +before--further, for every moment those slender fingers +rested in his made it more impossible to relinquish them, +for always. So, he persisted, with a bitter sense of +failure that would not wholly, honestly recognize itself. + +"Is Golightly Ticke your friend--completely?" + +"More--pardon me--than you could ever be," she answered +him, undaunted by the contempt in his tone. + +There was silence for a moment between them. Elfrida's +wide-eyed gaze wandered appreciatively over the dusky +interior, which for the man beside her barely existed. + +"What a lot of English character there is here," she said +softly. "How dignified it is, and conscientious, and +restrained!" + +It was as if she had not spoken. Cardiff stared with knit +brows into the insoluble problem she had presented to +him a moment longer. "_How_ are we so different, Elfrida?" +he broke out passionately. "You are a woman and I am a +man; the world has dealt with us, educated us, differently, +and I am older than I dare say I ought to be to hope for +your love. But these are not differences that count, +whatever their results may be. It seems to me trivial to +speak of such things in this connection, but we like very +much the same books, the same people. I grant you I don't +know anything about pictures; but surely," he pleaded, +"these are not the things that cut a man off from the +happiness of a lifetime!" + +"I'm afraid--" she began, and then she broke off suddenly. +"I _am_ sorry--sorrier than I have ever been before, I +think. I should have liked so well to keep your friendship; +it is the most chivalrous I know. But if you feel like--like +this about it I suppose I must not. Shall we say good-by +here and now? Truly I am sorry." + +She had risen, and he could find no words to stay her. +It seemed that the battle to possess her was over, and +that he, had lost. Her desire for his friendship had all +the mockery of freedom in it to him--in the agony of the +moment it insulted him. With an effort he controlled +himself--there should be no more of the futility of words. +He must see the last of her some time--let it be now, +then. He bent his head over the slender hand he held, +brought his lips to it, and then, with sudden passion, +kissed it hotly again and again, seeking the warm, +uncovered little spot above the fastening. Elfrida snatched +it away with a little shiver at the contact, a little +angry shiver of surprised nerves. He looked at her +piteously, struggling for a word, for any word to send +away her repulsion, to bring her back to the mood of the +moment before. But he could not find it; he seemed to +have drifted hopelessly from her, to have lost all his +reckonings. + +"Well?" she said. She was held there partly by her sense +of pity and partly by her desire to see the last, the +very last of it. + +"Go!" he returned, with a shrinking of pain at the word, +"I cannot." + +"_Pauvre ami!_" she said softly, and then she turned, +and her light steps sounded back to him through the length +of the hall. + +She walked more slowly when she reached the pavement +outside, and one who met her might have thought she +indulged in a fairly pleasant reverie. A little smile +curved about the corners of her mouth, half compassionate, +half amused and triumphant. She had barely time to banish +it when she heard Cardiff's step beside her, and his +voice. + +"I had to come after you," he said; "I've let you carry +off my stick." + +She looked at him in mischievous challenge of his +subterfuge, and he added frankly, with a voice that shook +a little notwithstanding-- + +"It's of no use--I find I must accept your compromise. +It is very good of you to be willing to make one. And I +can't let you go altogether, Elfrida." + +She gave him a happy smile. "And now," she said, "shall +we talk of something else?" + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +March brought John Kendal back to town with a few Devonshire +studies and a kindling discontent with the three subjects +he had in hand for the May exhibitions. It spread over +everything he had done for the last six months when he +found himself alone with his canvases and whole-hearted +toward them. He recognized that he had been dividing +his interest, that his ambition had suffered, that his +hand did not leap as it had before at the suggestion of +some lyric or dramatic possibility of color. He even +fancied that his drawing, which was his vulnerable point, +had worsened. He worked strenuously for days without +satisfying himself that he had recovered ground appreciably, +and then came desperately to the conclusion that he wanted +the stimulus of a new idea, a subject altogether +disassociated with anything he had done. It was only, he +felt, when his spirit was wholly in bondage to the charm +of his work that he could do it well, and he needed to +be bound afresh. Literally, he told himself, the only +thing he had painted in months that pleased him was that +mere sketch, from memory, of the Halifax drawing-room +episode. He dragged it out and looked at it, under its +damaging red stripes, with enthusiasm. Whatever she did +with herself, he thought, Elfrida Bell was curiously +satisfying from an artistic point of view. He fell into +a train of meditation, which quickened presently into a +practical idea that set him striding up and down the room. + +"I believe she would be delighted!" he said aloud, coming +to a sudden standstill; "and, by Jove, it would be a kind +of reparation!" + +He delved into an abysmal cupboard for a crusted pen and +a cobwebby bottle of ink, and was presently sitting among +the fragments of three notes addressed, one after the +other, to "Dear Miss Bell." In the end he wrote a single +line without any formality whatever, and when Elfrida +opened it an hour later she read: + + "Will you let me paint your portrait for the Academy? + + "JOHN-KENDAL. + + "P.S.--Or any other exhibition you may prefer." + +The last line was a stroke of policy. "She abhors Burlington +House," he had reflected. + +The answer came next day, and he tore it open with rapid +fingers. "I can't think why--but if you wish it, yes. +But why not for the Academy, since you are disposed to +do me that honor?" + +"Characteristic," thought Kendal grimly, as he tore up +the note. "She can't think why. But I'm glad the Academy +doesn't stick in her pretty throat--I was afraid it +would. It's the potent influence of the Private View." + +He wrote immediately in joyful gratitude to make an +appointment for the next day, went to work vigorously +about his preparations, and when he had finished smoked +a series of pipes to calm the turbulence of his +anticipations. As a neighboring clock struck five he put +on his coat. Janet must know about this new idea of his; +he longed to tell her, to talk about it over the +old-fashioned Spode cup of tea she would give him--Janet +was a connoisseur in tea. He realized as he went downstairs +how much of the pleasure of his life was centering in +these occasional afternoon gossips with her, in the +mingled delight of her interest and the fragrance and +the comfort of that half-hour over the Spode tea-cup. +The association brought him a reminiscence that sent him +smiling to the nearest confectioner's shop, where he +ordered a supply of Italian cakes against the next day +that would make an ample provision for the advent of half +a dozen unexpected visitors to the studio. He would have +to do his best with afternoon sittings, Elfrida was not +available in the morning; and he thought compassionately +that his sitter must not be starved. "I will feed her +first," he thought ironically, remembering her keen +childish enjoyment of sugared things. "She will pose all +the better for some tea." And he walked on to Kensington +Square. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +"Janet," said Lawrence Cardiff a week later at breakfast, +"the Halifaxes have decided upon their American tour. I +saw Lady Halifax last night and she tells me they sail +on the twenty-first. They want you to go with them. Do +you feel disposed to do it?" + +Mr. Cardiff looked at his daughter with eyes from which +the hardness that entered them weeks before in the Temple +Courts had never quite disappeared. His face was worn +and thin, its delicacy had sharpened, and he carried +about with him an habitual abstraction. Janet, regarding +him day after day in the light of her secret knowledge, +gave herself up to an inward storm of anger and grief +and anxiety. Elfrida's name had been tacitly dropped +between them, but to Janet's sensitiveness she was +constantly and painfully to be reckoned with in their +common life. Lawrence Cardiff's moods were accountable +to his daughter obviously by Elfrida's influence. She +noted bitterly that his old evenness of temper, the gay +placidity that made so delightful a basis for their joint +happiness, had absolutely disappeared. Instead, she found +her father either irritable or despondent, or inspired +by a gaiety which she had no hand in producing, and which +took no account of her. That was the real pain. Janet +was keenly distressed at the little drama of suffering +that unfolded itself daily before her, but her disapproval +of its cause very much blunted her sense of its seriousness. +She had, besides, a grown-up daughter's repulsion and +impatience for a parental love-affair, and it is doubtful +whether she would have brought her father's to a happy +conclusion without a very severe struggle if she had +possessed the power to do it. But this exclusion gave +her a keener pang; she had shared so much with him before, +had been so important to him always. And now he could +propose, with perfect equanimity that she should go to +America with the Halifaxes. + +"But you could not get away by the twenty-first," she +returned, trying to take it for granted that the idea +included him. + +"Oh, I don't propose going," Mr. Cardiff returned from +behind his newspaper. + +"But, daddy, they intend to be away for a year." + +"About that. Lady Halifax has arranged a capital itinerary. +They mean to come back by India." + +"And pray what would become of you all by yourself for +a year, sir?" asked Janet brightly. "Besides, we were +always going to do that trip together." She had a stubborn +inward determination not to recognize this difference +that had sprung up between them. It was only a phase, +she told herself, of her father's miserable feeling just +now; it would last another week, another fortnight, and +then things would be as they had been before. She would +not let herself believe in it, hurt as it might. + +Mr. Cardiff lowered his paper. "Don't think of that," he +said over the top of it. "There is really no occasion. +I shall get on very well. There is always the club, you +know. And this is an opportunity you ought not to miss." + +Janet said nothing, and Lawrence Cardiff went back to +his newspaper. She tried to go on with her breakfast, +but scalding tears stood in her eyes, and she could not +swallow. She was unable to command herself far enough to +ask to be excused, and she rose abruptly and left the +room with her face turned carefully away. + +Cardiff followed her with his eyes and gave an +uncomprehending shrug. He looked at his watch; there was +still half an hour before he need leave the house. It +brought him an uncomfortable thought that he might go +and comfort Janet--it was evident that something he had +said had hurt her--she was growing absurdly hypersensitive. +He dismissed the idea--Heaven only knew into what +complications it might lead them. He spent the time +instead in a restless walk up and down the room, revolving +whether Elfrida Bell would or would not be brought to +reconsider her refusal to let him take her to "Faust" +that night--he never could depend upon her. + +Janet had not seen John Kendal since the afternoon he +came to her radiant with his intention of putting all of +Elfrida's elusive charm upon canvas, full of its intrinsic +difficulties, eager for her sympathy, depending on her +enthusiastic interest. She had disappointed him--she did +her best, but the sympathy and enthusiasm and interest +would not come. She could not tell him why--her broken +friendship was still sacred to her for what it had been. +Besides, explanations were impossible. So she listened +and approved with a strained smile, and led him, with a +persistence he did not understand, to talk of other +things. He went away chilled and baffled, and he had not +come again. She knew that he was painting with every +nerve tense and eager, in oblivion to all but his work +and the face that inspired it. Elfrida, he told her, was +to give him three sittings a week, of an hour each, and +he complained of the scantiness of the dole. She could +conjure up those hours, all too short for his delight in +his model and his work. Surely it would not be long now! +Elfrida cared, by her own confession--Janet felt, dully, +there could now be no doubt of that--and since Elfrida +cared, what could be more certain than the natural issue? +She fought with herself to accept it; she spent hours in +seeking for the indifference that might come of accustoming +herself to the fact. And when she thought of her father +she hoped that it might be soon. + +There came a day when Lawrence Cardiff gave, his daughter +the happiness of being almost his other self again. He +had come downstairs with a headache and a touch of fever, +and all day long he let her take care of him submissively, +with the old pleasant gratitude that seemed to re-establish +their comradeship. She had a joyful secret wonder at the +change, it was so sadden and so complete; but their +sympathetic relation reasserted itself naturally and at +once, and she would not let herself question it. In the +evening he sent her to her room for a book of his, and +when she brought it to him where he lay upon the lounge +in the library he detained her a moment. + +"You mustn't attempt to read without a lamp now, daddy," +she said, touching his forehead lightly with her lips. +"You will damage your poor old eyes." + +"Don't be impertinent about my poor old eyes, miss," he +returned, smiling. "Janet, there is something I think +you ought to know." + +"Yes, daddy." The girl felt herself turning rigid. + +"I want you to make friends with Elfrida again. I have +every reason to believe--at all events some reason to +believe--that she will become my wife." Her knowing +already made it simpler to say. + +"Has--has she promised, daddy?" + +"Not exactly. But I think she will, Janet." His tone was +very confident. "And of course you must forgive each +other any little heart-burnings there may have been +between you." + +Any little heart-burnings! Janet had a quivering moment +of indecision. "Oh, daddy! she won't! she won't!" she +cried tumultuously, and hurried out of the room. Cardiff +lay still, smiling pityingly. What odd ideas women managed +to get into their heads about one another! Janet thought +Elfrida would refuse her overtures if she made them. +How little she knew Elfrida--his just, candid, generous +Elfrida! + +Janet flung herself upon her bed and faced the situation, +dry-eyed, with burning cheeks. She could always face a +situation when it admitted the possibility of anything +being done, when there was a chance for resolution and +action. Practical difficulties nerved her; it was only +before the blankness of a problem of pure abstractness +that she quailed--such a problem as the complication of +her relation to John Kendal and to Elfrida Bell. She had +shrunk from that for months, had put it away habitually +in the furthest corner of her consciousness, and had done +her best to make it stay there. She discovered how sore +its fret had been only with the relief she felt when she +simplified it at a stroke that afternoon on which everything +came to an end between her and Elfrida. Since the burden +of obligation their relation imposed had been removed +Janet had analyzed her friendship, and had found it +wanting in many ways to which she had been wilfully blind +before. The criticism she had always silenced came forward +and spoke boldly; and she recognized the impossibility +of a whole-hearted intimacy where a need for enforced +dumbness existed. All the girl's charm she acknowledged +with a heart wrung by the thought that it was no longer +for her. She dwelt separately and long upon Elfrida's +keen sense of justice, her impulsive generosity, her +refined consideration for other people, the delicacy of +some of her personal instincts, her absolute sincerity +toward herself and the world, her passionate exaltation +of what was to her the ideal in art. Janet exacted from +herself the last jot of justice toward Elfrida in all +these things; and then she listened, as she had not done +before, to the voice that spoke to her from the very +depths of her being, it seemed, and said, "Nevertheless, +_no!_" She only half comprehended, and the words brought +her a sadness that would be long, she knew, in leaving +her; but she listened and agreed. + +And now it seemed to her that she must ignore it again, +that the wise, the necessary, the expedient thing to do +was to go to Elfrida and re-establish, if she could, the +old relation, cost what it might. She must take up her +burden of obligation again in order that it might be +mutual. Then she would have the right to beg Elfrida to +stop playing fast and loose with her father, to act +decisively. If Elfrida only knew, only realized, the +difference it made, and how little right she had to +control, at her whim, the happiness of any human being +--and Janet brought a strong hand to bear upon her +indignation, for she had resolved to go; and to go that +night. + +Lawrence-Cardiff bade his daughter an early, good-night +after their unusually pleasant dinner. "Do you think +you can do it?" he asked her before he went Janet started +at the question, for they had not mentioned Elfrida again, +even remotely. + +"I think I can, daddy," she answered him gravely, and +they separated. She looked at her watch; by half-past +nine she could be in Essex Court. + +Yes, Miss Bell was in, Miss Cardiff could go straight +up, Mrs. Jordan informed her, and she mounted the last +flight of stairs with a beating heart. Her mission was +important--oh, so important! She had compromised with +her conscience in planning it, and now if it should fail! +Her hand trembled as she knocked. In answer to Elfrida's +"Come in!" she pushed the door slowly open. "It is I, +Janet," she said; "may I?" + +"But of course!" + +Elfrida rose from a confusion of sheets of manuscript +upon the table and came forward, holding out her hand +with an odd gleam in her eyes, and an amused, slightly +excited smile about her lips. + +"How do you, do?" she said, with rather ostentatiously +suppressed wonder. "Please sit down, but not in that +chair. It is not quite reliable. This one, I think is +better. How are--how are _you?_" + +The slight emphasis she placed on the last word was airy +and regardless. Janet would have preferred to have been +met by one of the old affectations; she would have felt +herself taken more seriously. + +"It's very late to come, and I interrupt you," she said +awkwardly, glancing at the manuscript. + +"Not at all. I am very happy--" + +"But of course I had a special reason for coming. It is +serious enough, I think, to justify me." + +"What can it be!" + +"_Don't_, Elfrida," Janet cried passionately. "Listen +to me. I have come to try to make things right again +between us--to ask you to forgive me for speaking as +I--as I did about your writing that day. I am sorry--I +am, indeed." + +"I don't quite understand. You ask me to _forgive_ +you--but what question is there of forgiveness? You had +a perfect right to your opinion, and I was glad to have +it at last from you, frankly." + +"But it offended you, Elfrida. It is what is accountable +for the--the rupture between us." + +"Perhaps. But not because it hurt my feelings," Elfrida +returned scornfully, "in the ordinary sense. It offended +me truly; but in quite another way. In what you said you +put me on a different plane from yourself in the matter +of artistic execution. Very well. I am content to stay +there--in your opinion. But why this talk of forgiveness? +Neither of us can alter anything. Only," Elfrida breathed +quickly, "be sure that I will not be accepted by you upon +those terms." + +"That, wasn't what I meant in the least." + +"What else could you have meant? And more than that," +Elfrida went on rapidly--her phrases had the patness of +formed conclusions--"what you said betrayed a totally +different conception of art, as it expresses itself in +the nudity of things, from the one I supposed you to +hold. And, if you will pardon me for saying so, a much +lower one. It seems to me that we cannot hold together +there--that our aims and creeds are different, and that +we have been comrades under false pretences. Perhaps we +are both to blame for that; but we cannot change it, or +the fact that we have found it out." + +Janet bit her lip. The "nudity of things" brought her an +instant's impulse toward hysteria--it was so characteristic +a touch of candid exaggeration. But her need for reflection +helped her to control it. Elfrida had taken a different +ground from the one she expected--it was less simple, +and a mere apology, however sincere, would not meet it. +But there was one thing more which she could say, and +with an effort she said it. + +"Elfrida, suppose that, even as an expression of +opinion--putting it aside as an expression of feeling +toward you--what I said that day was not quite sincere. +Suppose that I was not quite mistress of myself--I would +rather not tell you why--" + +"Is that true?" asked Elfrida directly. + +"Yes, it is true. For the moment I wanted more than +anything else in the world to break with you. I took +the surest means." + +The other girl regarded Janet steadfastly. "But if it is +only a question of the _degree_ of your sincerity," she +persisted, "I cannot see that the situation alters much." + +"I was not altogether responsible, believe me, Elfrida. +I don't remember now what I said, but--but I am afraid +it must have taken all its color from my feeling." + +"Of course." Elfrida hesitated, and her tone showed her +touched. "I can understand that what I told you about +--about Mr. Cardiff must have been a shock. For the moment +I became an animal, and turned upon you--upon you who +had been to me the very soul of kindness. I have hated +myself for it--you may be sure of that." + +Janet Cardiff had a moment's inward struggle, and yielded. +She would let Elfrida believe it had been that. After +all it was partly true, and her lips refused absolutely +to say the rest. + +"Yes, it must have hurt you--more, perhaps, than I can +guess." Elfrida's eyes grew wet and her voice shook. "But +I can't understand your retaliating that way, if you +didn't believe what you said. And if you believed it, +what more is there to say?" + +Janet felt herself possessed by an intense sensation of +playing for stakes, unusual, exciting, and of some personal +importance. She did not pause to regard her attitude from +any other point of view; she succumbed at once, not +without enjoyment, to the necessity for diplomacy. Under +its rush of suggestions her conscience was only vaguely +restive. To-morrow it would assert itself; unconsciously +she put off paying attention to it until then. Elfrida +must come back to her. For the moment the need was to +choose her plea. + +"It seems to me," she said slowly, "that there is something +between us which is indestructible, Frida. We didn't +make it, and we can't unmake it. For my part, I think it +is worth our preserving, but I don't believe we could +lose it if we tried. You may put me away from you for +any reason that seems good to you, as far as you like, +but so long as we both live there will be that something, +recognized or unrecognized. All we can do arbitrarily is +to make it a joy or a pain of it. Haven't you felt that?" + +The other girl looked at her uncertainly. "I have felt +it sometimes," she said, "but now it seems to me that I +can never be sure that there is not some qualification +in it--some hidden flaw." + +"Don't you think it's worth making the best of? Can't we +make up our minds to have a little charity for the flaws?" + +Elfrida shook her head. "I don't think I'm capable of a +friendship that demands charity," she said. + +"And yet, whether we close each other's lips or not, we +will always have things to say, the one to the other, in +this world. Is it to be dumbness between us?" + +There was a moment's silence in the room--a crucial +moment, it seemed to both of them. Elfrida sat against +the table with her elbows among its litter of paged +manuscript, her face hidden in her hands. Janet rose and +took a step or two toward her. Then she paused, and looked +at the little bronze image on the table instead. Elfrida +was suddenly shaken by deep, indrawn, silent sobs. + +"It is finished, then," Janet said softly; "we are to +separate for always, Buddha, she and I. She will not know +any more of me nor I of her--it will be, so far as we +can make it, like the grave. You must belong to a strange +world, Buddha, always to smile!" She spoke evenly quietly, +with, restraint, and still she did not look at the +convulsively silent figure in the chair. "But I am glad +you will always keep that face for her, Buddha. I hope +the world will, too, our world that is sometimes more +bitter than you can understand. And I say good-by to you, +for to her I cannot say it." And she turned to go. + +Elfrida stumbled to her feet and hurried to the door. +"No!" she said, holding it fast. "No! You must not go +that way--I owe you too much, after all. We will--we will +make the best of it." + +"Not on that ground," Janet answered gravely. "Neither +your friendship nor mine is purchasable, I hope." + +"No, no! That was bad. On any ground you like. Only stay +a little--let us find ourselves again!" + +Elfrida forced a smile into what she said, and Janet let +herself be drawn back to a chair. + +It was nearly midnight when she found herself again in +her cab, driving through the empty lamplit Strand toward +Kensington. She had prevailed, and now she had to scrutinize +her methods. That necessity urged itself beyond her power +to turn away from it, and left her sick at heart. She +had prevailed--Elfrida, she believed, was hers again. +They had talked as candidly as might be of her father. +Elfrida had promised nothing, but she would, bring matters +to an end, Janet knew she would, in a day or two, when +she had had time to think how intolerable the situation +would be if she didn't. Janet remembered with wonder, +however, how little Elfrida seemed to realize that it +need make any difference between them compared with other +things, and what a trivial concession she thought it +beside the restoration of the privileges of her friendship. +The girl asked herself drearily how it would be possible +that she should ever forget the frank cynical surprise +with which Elfrida had received her entreaty, based on +the fact of her father's unrest and the wretchedness of +his false hopes--"You have your success; does it really +matter--so very much?" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + +"To-day, remember. You promised that I should see it +to-day," Elfrida reminded Kendal, dropping instantly into +the pose they had jointly decided on. "I know I'm late, +but you will not punish me by another postponement, will +you?" + +Kendal looked sternly at his watch. "A good twenty minutes, +mademoiselle," he returned aggrievedly. "It would be only +justice--poetic justice--to say no. But I think you may, +if we get on to-day." + +He was already at work, turning from the texture of the +rounded throat which occupied him before she came in, to +the more serious problem of the nuances of expression in +the face. It was a whim of his, based partly upon a +cautiousness, of which he was hardly aware, that she +should not see the portrait in its earlier stages, and +she had made a great concession of this. As it grew before +him, out of his consciousness, under his hand, he became +more and more aware that he would prefer to postpone her +seeing it, for reasons which he would not pause to define. +Certainly they were not connected with any sense of having +failed to do justice to his subject. Kendal felt an +exulting mastery over it which was the most intoxicating +sensation his work had ever brought him. He had, as he +painted, a silent, brooding triumph in his manipulation, +in his control. He gave himself up to the delight of his +insight, the power of his reproduction, and to the intense +satisfaction of knowing that out of the two there grew +something of more than usually keen intrinsic interest +within the wide creed of his art. He worked with every +nerve tense upon his conception of what he saw, which so +excluded other considerations that now and then, in answer +to some word of hers that distracted him, he spoke to +her almost roughly. At which Elfrida, with a little smile +of forgiving comprehension, obediently kept silence. +She saw the artist in him dominant, and she exulted for +his sake. It was to her delicious to be the medium of +his inspiration, delicious and fit and sweetly acceptable. +And they had agreed upon a charming pose. + +Presently Kendal lowered his brush impatiently. "Talk +to me a little," he said resentfully, ignoring his usual +preference that she should not talk because what she said +had always power to weaken the concentration of his +energy. "There is a little muteness about the lips. Am +I very unreasonable? But you don't know what a difficult +creature you are." + +She threw up her chin in one of her bewitching ways and +laughed. "I wouldn't be too simple," she returned. She +looked at him with the light of her laughter still in +her eyes, and went on: "I know I must be difficult +--tremendously difficult; because I, whom you see as an +individual, am so many people. Phases of character have +an attraction for me--I wear one to-day and another +to-morrow. It is very flippant, but you see I am honest +about it. And it must make me difficult to paint, for it +can be only by accident that I am the same person twice." + +Without answering Kendal made two or three rapid strokes. +"That's better," he said, as if to himself. "Go on talking, +please. What did you say?" + +"It doesn't seem to matter much," she answered, with a +little pout. "I said 'Baa, baa, black sheep, have you +any wool?'" + +"No, you didn't," returned Kendal as they laughed together. +"You said something about being like Cleopatra, a creature +of infinite variety, didn't you? About having a great +many disguises--" absently. "But--" + +Kendal fell into the absorbed silence of his work again, +leaving the sentence unfinished. He looked up at her with +a long, close, almost intimate scrutiny, under which and +his careless words she blushed hotly. + +"Then I hope you have chosen my most becoming disguise," +she cried imperiously, jumping up. "Now, if you please, +I will see." + +She stood beside the canvas with her eyes upon his face, +waiting for a sign from him. He, feeling, without knowing +definitely why, that a critical moment had come between +them, rose and stepped back a pace or two, involuntarily +pulling himself together to meet what she might say. +"Yes, you may look," he said, seeing that she would not +turn her head without his word; and waited. + +Elfrida took three or four steps beyond the easel and +faced it. In the first instant of her gaze her face grew +radiant. "Ah," she said softly, "how unconscionably you +must hare flattered me! I can't be so pretty as that." + +A look of relief shot across Kendal's face. "I'm glad +you like it," he said briefly. "It's a capital pose." + +The first thing that could possibly be observed, about +the portrait was its almost dramatic loveliness. The head +was turned a little, and the eyes regarded something +distant, with a half wishful, half deprecating dreaminess. +The lips were plaintively courageous, and the line of +the lifted chin and throat helped the pathetic eyes and +annihilated the heaviness of the other features. It was +as if the face made an expressive effort to subdue a +vitality which might otherwise have been aggressive; but +while the full value of this effect of spiritual pose +was caught and rendered, Kendal had done his work in a +vibrant significant chord of color that strove for the +personal force beneath it and brought it out. + +Elfrida dropped into the nearest chair, clasped her knees +in her hands, and bending forward, earnestly regarded +the canvas with a silence that presently became perceptible. +It seemed to Kendal at first, as he stood talking to her +of its technicalities, that she tested the worth of every +stroke; then he became aware that she was otherwise +occupied, and that she did not hear him. He paused and +stepped over to where, standing behind her chair, he +shared her point of view. Even the exaltation of his +success did not prevent his impatient wonder why his +relation with this girl must always be so uncomfortable. + +Then as he stood in silence looking with her, it seemed +that he saw with her, and the thing that he had done +revealed itself to him for the first time fully, +convincingly, with no appeal. He looked at it with curious, +painful interest, but without remorse, even in the +knowledge that she saw it too, and suffered. He realized +exultingly that he had done better work than he thought +--he might repent later, but for the moment he could feel +nothing but that. As to the girl before him, she was +simply the source and the reason of it--he was particularly +glad he had happened to come across her. + +He had echoed her talk of disguises, and his words embodied +the unconscious perception under which he worked. He had +selected a disguise, and, as she wished, a becoming one. +But he had not used it fairly, seriously. He had thrown +it over her face like a veil, if anything could be a veil +which rather revealed than hid, rather emphasized than +softened, the human secret of the face underneath. He +realized now that he had been guided by a broader +perception, by deeper instincts, in painting that. It +was the real Elfrida. + +There was still a moment before she spoke. He wondered +vaguely how she would take it, and he was conscious of +an anxiety to get it over. At last she rose and faced +him, with one hand, that trembled, resting on the back +of the chair. Her face wore a look that was almost +profound, and there was an acknowledgment in it, a degree +of submission, which startled him. + +"So that is how you have read me," she said, looking +again at the portrait "Oh, I do not find fault; I would +like to, but I dare not. I am not sure enough that you +are wrong--no, I am too sure that you are right. I am, +indeed, very much preoccupied with myself. I have always +been--I shall always be. Don't think I shall reform after +this moral shock as people do in books. I am what I am. +But I acknowledge that an egotist doesn't make an agreeable +picture, however charmingly you apologize for her. It is +a personality of stone, isn't it?--implacable, unchangeable. +I've often felt that." + +Kendal was incapable of denying a word of what she said. +"If it is any comfort to you to know it," he ventured, +"hardly any one will see in it what you--and I--see." + +"Yes," she said, with a smile, "that's true. I shan't +mind its going to the Academy." + +She sat down again and looked fixedly at the picture, +her chin propped in her hand. "Don't you feel," she said, +looking up at him with a little childish gesture of +confidence, "as if you had stolen something from me?" + +"Yes," Kendal declared honestly, "I do. I've taken +something you didn't intend me to have." + +"Well, I give it you--it is yours quite freely and +ungrudgingly. Don't feel that way any more. You have a +right to your divination," she Added bravely. + +"I would not withhold it if I could. Only--I hope you +find _something_ good in it. I think, myself, there is +something." + +Her look was a direct interrogation, and Kendal flinched +before it. "Dear creature," he murmured, "you are very +true to yourself." + +"And to you," she pleaded, "always to you too. Has there +ever been anything but the clearest honesty between us? +Ah, my friend, that is valuable--there are so few people +who inspire it." + +She had risen again, and he found himself shame-facedly +holding her hand. His conscience roused itself and smote +him mightily. Had there always been this absolute +single-mindedness between them? + +"You make it necessary for me to tell you," he said +slowly, "that there is one thing between us you do not +know. I saw you at Cheynemouth on the stage." + +"I know you did," she smiled at him. "Janet Cardiff let +it out, by accident I suppose you came, like Mr. Cardiff, +because you--disapproved. Then why didn't you remonstrate +with me? I've often wondered." Elfrida spoke softly, +dreamily. Her happiness seemed very near. Her self-surrender +was so perfect and his understanding, as it always had +been, so sweet, that the illusion of the moment was +cruelly perfect She raised her eyes to Kendal's with an +abandonment of tenderness in them that quickened his +heart-beats, man that he was. + +"Tell me, do _you_ want me to give it up--my book--last +night I finished it--my ambition?" + +She was ready with her sacrifice or for the instant; she +believed herself to be, and it was not wholly without an +effort that he put it away. On the pretence of picking +up his palette knife he relinquished her hand. + +"It is not a matter upon which I have permitted myself +a definite opinion," he said, more coldly than he intended, +"but for your own sake I should advise it." + +For her own sake! The room seemed full of the echo of +his words. A blank look crossed the girl's face; she +turned instinctively away from him and picked up her hat. +She put it on and buttoned her gloves without the faintest +knowledge of what she was doing; her senses were wholly +occupied with the comprehension of the collapse that had +taken place within her. It was the single moment of her +life when she differed, in any important way, from the +girl Kendal had painted. Her self-consciousness was a +wreck, she no longer controlled it; it tossed at the +mercy of her emotion. Her face was very white and painfully +empty, her eyes wandered uncertainly around the room, +unwilling above all things to meet Kendal's again. She +had forgotten about the portrait. + +"I will go, then," she said simply, without looking at +him, and this time, with a flash, Kendal comprehended +again. He held the door open for her mutely, with the +keenest pang his pleasant life had ever brought him, and +she passed out and down the dingy stairs. + +On the first landing she paused and turned. "I will never +be different," she said aloud, as if he were still beside +her, "I will never be different!" She unbuttoned one of +her gloves and fingered the curious silver ring that +gleamed uncertainly on her hand in the shabby light of +the staircase. The alternative within it, the alternative +like a bit of brown sugar, offered itself very suggestively +at the moment. She looked around her at the dingy place +she stood in, and in imagination threw herself across +the lowest step. Even at that miserable moment she was +aware of the strong, the artistic, the effective thing +to do. "And when he came down he might tread on me," she +said to herself, with a little shudder. "I wish I had +the courage. But no--it might hurt, after all. I am a +coward, too." + +She had an overwhelming realization of impotence in every +direction. It came upon her like a burden; under it she +grew sick and faint. At the door she stumbled, and she +was hardly sure of her steps to her cab, which was drawn +up by the curbstone, and in which she presently went +blindly home. + +By ten o'clock that night she had herself, in a manner, +in hand again. Her eyes were still wide and bitter, and +the baffled, uncomprehending look had not quite gone out +of them, but a line or two of cynical acceptance had +drawn themselves round her lips. She had sat so long and +so quietly regarding the situation that she became +conscious of the physical discomfort of stiffened limbs. +She leaned back in her chair and put her feet on another, +and lighted a cigarette. + +"No, Buddha," she said, as if to a confessor, "don't +think it of me. It was a lie, a pose to tempt him on. I +would never have given it up--never! It is more to me +--I am _almost_ sure--than he is. It is part of my soul, +Buddha, and my love for him--oh, I cannot tell!" + +She threw the cigarette away from her and stared at the +smiling image with heavy eyes in silence. Then she went +on: + +"But I always tell you everything, little bronze god, +and I won't keep back even this. There was a moment when +I would have let him take me in his arms and hold me +close, close to him. And I wish he had--I should have +had it to remember. Bah! why is my face hot! I might as +well be ashamed of wanting my dinner!" + +Again she dropped into silence, and when next she spoke +her whole face had hardened. + +"But no! He thinks that he has read me finally, that he +has done with me, that I no longer count! He will marry +some red-and-white cow of an Englishwoman who will accept +herself in the light of a reproductive agent and do her +duty by him accordingly. As I would not--no! Good heavens, +no! So perhaps it is as well, for I will go on loving +him, of course, and some day he will come back to me, in +his shackles, and together, whatever we do, we will make +no vulgar mess of it. In the meantime, Buddha, I will +smile, like you. + +"And there is always this, which is the best of me. You +agree, don't you, that it is the best of me?" She fingered +the manuscript in her lap. "All my power, all my joy, +the quintessence of my life! I think I shall be angry if +it has a common success, if the people like it too well. +I only want recognition for it--recognition and +acknowledgment and admission. I want George Meredith to +ask to be introduced to me!" She made rather a pitiful +effort to smile. "And that, Buddha, is what will happen." + +Mechanically she lighted another cigarette and turned +over her first rough pages--a copy had gone to +Rattray--looking for passages she had wrought most to +her satisfaction. They left her cold as she read them, +but she was not unaware that the reason of this lay +elsewhere; and when she went to bed she put the packet +under her pillow and slept a little better for the comfort +of it. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + +In the week that followed Janet Cardiff's visit to +Elfrida's attic, these two young women went through a +curious reapproachment. At every step it was tentative, +but at every step it was also enjoyable. They made +sacrifices to meet on most days; they took long walks +together, and arranged lunches at out-of-the-way +restaurants; they canvassed eagerly such matters of +interest in the world that supremely attracted them as +had been lying undiscussed between them until now. The +intrinsic pleasure that was in each for the other had +been enhanced by deprivation, and they tasted it again +with a keenness of savor which was a surprise to both of +them. Their mutual understanding of most things, their +common point of view, reasserted itself more strongly +than ever as a mutual possession; they could not help +perceiving its value. Janet made a fairly successful +attempt to drown her sense of insincerity in the +recognition. She, Janet, was conscious of a deliberate +effort to widen and deepen the sympathy between them. An +obscure desire to make reparation, she hardly knew for +what, combined itself with a great longing to see their +friendship the altogether beautiful and perfect thing +its mirage was, and pushed her on to seize every opportunity +to fortify the place, she had retaken. Elfrida had never +found her so considerate, so appreciative, so amusing, +so prodigal of her gay ideas, or so much inclined to go +upon her knees at shrines before which she sometimes +stood and mocked. She had a special happiness in availing +herself of an opportunity which resulted in Elfrida's +receiving a letter from the editor of the _St. George's_ +asking her for two or three articles on the American +Colony in Paris, and only very occasionally she recognized, +with a subtle thrill of disgust, that she was employing +diplomacy in every action, every word, almost every look +which concerned her friend. She asked herself then +despairingly how it could last and what good could come +of it, whereupon fifty considerations, armed with whips, +drove her on. + +Perhaps the most potent of these was the consciousness +that in spite of it all she was not wholly successful, +that as between Elfrida and herself things were not +entirely as they had been. They were cordial, they were +mutually appreciative, they had moments of expansive +intercourse; but Janet could not disguise to herself the +fact that there was a difference, the difference between +fit and fusion. The impression was not a strong one, +but she half suspected her friend now and then of intently +watching her, and she could not help observing how reticent +the girl had become upon certain subjects that touched +her personally. The actress in Elfrida was nevertheless +constantly supreme, and interfered with the trustworthiness +of any single impression. She could not resist the +pardoning role; she played it intermittently, with a +pretty impulsiveness that would have amused Miss Cardiff +more if it had irritated her less. For the certainty that +Elfrida would be her former self for three days together +Janet would have dispensed gladly with the little Bohemian +dinner in Essex Court in honor of her book, or the violets +that sometimes dropped out of Elfrida's notes, or even +the sudden but premeditated occasional offer of Elfrida's +lips. + +Meanwhile the Halifaxes were urging their western trip +upon her, Lady Halifax declaring roundly that she was +looking wretchedly, Miss Halifax suggesting playfully +the possibility of an American heroine for, her next +novel. Janet, repelling both publicly, admitted both +privately. She felt worn out physically, and when she +thought of producing another book her brain responded +with a helpless negative. She had been turning lately +with dogged conviction to her work as the only solace +life was likely to offer her, and anything that hinted +at loss of power filled her with blank dismay. She was +desperately weary and she wanted to forget, desiring, +besides, some sort of stimulus as a flagging swimmer +desires a rope. + +One more reason came and took possession of her common +sense. Between her father and Elfrida she felt herself +a complication. If she could bring herself to consent to +her own removal, the situation, she could not help seeing, +would be considerably simplified. She read plainly in +her father that the finality Elfrida promised had not +yet been given--doubtless an opportunity had not yet +occurred; and Janet was willing to concede that the +circumstances might require a rather special opportunity. +When it should occur she recognized that delicacy, decency +almost, demanded that she should be out of the way. She +shrank miserably from the prospect of being a daily +familiar looker-on at the spectacle of Lawrence Cardiff's +pain, and she had a knowledge that there would be somehow +an aggravation of it in her person. In a year everything +would mend itself more or less, she believed dully and +tried to feel. Her father would be the same again, with +his old good-humor and criticism of her enthusiasms, his +old interest in things and people, his old comradeship +for her. John Kendal would have married Elfrida Bell-- +what an idyll they would make of life together!--and she, +Janet, would have accepted the situation. Her interest +in the prospective pleasures on which Lady Halifax +expatiated was slight; she was obliged to speculate upon +its rising, which she did with all the confidence she +could command. She declined absolutely to read Bryce's +"American Commonwealth," or Miss Bird's account of the +Rocky Mountains, or anybody's travels in the Orient, upon +all of which Miss Halifax had painstakingly fixed her +attention; but one afternoon she ordered a blue serge +travelling-dress and refused one or two literary, +engagements for the present, and the next day wrote to +Lady Halifax that she had decided to go. Her father +received her decision with more relief than he meant to +show, and Janet had a bitter half-hour over it. Then +she plunged with energy into her arrangements, and +Lawrence, Cardiff made her inconsistently happy again +with the interest he took in them, supplemented by an +extremely dainty little travelling-clock. He became +suddenly so solicitous for her that she sometimes quivered +before the idea that he guessed all the reasons that were +putting her to flight, which gave her a wholly unnecessary +pang, for nothing would have astonished Lawrence Cardiff +more than to be confronted, at the moment, with any +passion that was not his own. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + +Kendal, as the door closed behind Elfrida on the afternoon +of her last sitting, shutting him in with himself and +the portrait on the easel, and the revelation she had +made, did his best to feel contrition, and wondered that +he was so little successful. He assured himself that he +had been a brute; yet in an uncompromising review of all +that he had ever said or done in connection with Elfrida +he failed to satisfy his own indignation with himself by +discovering any occasion upon which his brutality had +been particularly obvious. He remembered with involuntary +self-justification how distinctly she had insisted upon +_camaraderie_ between them, how she had spurned everything +that savored of another standard of manners on his, part, +how she had once actually had the curious taste to want +him to call her "old chap," and how it had grated. He +remembered her only half-veiled invitation, her challenge +to him to see as much as he cared, and to make what he +could of her. He was to blame for accepting, but he would +have been a conceited ass if he had thought of the danger +of a result like this. In the midst of his reflections +an idea came to him about the portrait, and he observed, +with irritation, after giving it a few touches, that the +light was irretrievably gone for the day. + +Next morning he worked for three hours at it without a +pang, and in the afternoon with relaxed nerves and a high +heart, he took his hat and turned his face toward Kensington +Square. The distance was considerable, but he walked +lightly, rapidly, with a conscious enjoyment of that form +of relief to his wrought nerves, his very limbs drawing +energy from the knowledge of his finished work. Never +before had he felt so completely the divine sense of +success, and though he had worked at the portrait with +passionate concentration from the beginning, this +realization had come to him only the day before, when, +stepping back to look with Elfrida, he saw what he had +done. Troubled as the revelation was, in it he saw himself +a master. He had for once escaped, and he felt that the +escape was a notable one, from the tyranny of his +brilliant-technique. He had subjected it to his idea, +which had grown upon the canvas obscure to him under his +own brush until that final moment, and he recognized with +astonishment how relative and incidental the truth of +the treatment seemed in comparison with the truth of the +idea. + +With the modern scornful word for the literary value of +paintings on his lips, Kendal was forced to admit that +in this his consummate picture, as he very truly thought +it, the chief significance lay elsewhere than in the +brushing and the color--they were only its dramatic +exponents--and the knowledge of this brought him a new +and glorious sense of control. It had already carried +him further in power, this portrait, it would carry him +further in place, than anything he had yet done; and the +thought gave a sparkle to the delicious ineffable content +that bathed his soul. He felt that the direction of his +walk intensified his eager physical joy in it. He was +going to Janet with his success, as he had always gone +to her. As soon as the absorbing vision of his work had +admitted another perception, it was Janet's sympathy, +Janet's applause, that had mingled itself with his certain +reward. He could not say that it had inspired him in +the least, but it formed a very essential part of his +triumph. He could wish her more exacting, but this time +he had done something that should make her less easy to +satisfy in the future. Unconsciously he hastened his +steps through the gardens, switching off a daisy head +now and then with his stick as he went, and pausing only +once, when he found himself, to his utter astonishment, +asking a purely incidental errand boy if he wanted +sixpence. + +Janet, in the drawing-room, received him with hardly a +quickening of pulse. It was so nearly over now; she seemed +to have packed up a good part of her tiresome heart-ache +with the warm things Lady Halifax had dictated for the +Atlantic. She had a vague expectation that it would +reappear, but not until she unlocked the box, in mid-ocean, +where it wouldn't matter so much. She knew that it was +only reasonable and probable that she should see him +again before they left for Liverpool She had been expecting +this visit, and she meant to be unflinching with herself +when she exchanged farewells with him. She meant to make +herself believe that the occasion was quite an ordinary +one--also until afterward, when her feeling about it +would be of less consequence. + +"Well," she asked directly, with a failing heart as she +saw his face, "what is your good news?" + +Kendal laughed aloud; it was delightful to be anticipated. +"So I am unconsciously advertising it," he said. "Guess!" + +His tone bad the vaunting glory of a lover's--a lover +new to his lordship, with his privileges still sweet upon +his lips. Janet felt a little cold contraction about her +heart, and sank quickly into the nearest arm-chair. "How +can I guess," she said, looking beyond him at the wall, +which she did not see, "without anything to go upon? Give +me a hint." + +Kendal laughed again. "It's very simple, and you know +something about it already." + +Then she was not mistaken--there was no chance of it. +She tried to look at him with smiling, sympathetic +intelligence, while her whole being quivered in anticipation +of the blow that was coming. "Does it--does it concern +another person?" she faltered. + +Kendal looked grave, and suffered an instant's compunction. +"It does--it does indeed," he assured her. "It concerns +Miss Elfrida Bell very much, in a way. Ah!" he went on +impatiently, as she still sat silent, "why are you so +unnaturally dull, Janet? I've finished that young woman's +portrait, and it is more--satisfactory--than I ever in +my life dared hope that any picture of mine would be." + +"Is that all?" + +The words escaped her in a quick, breath of relief. Her +face was crimson, and the room seemed to swim. + +"_All!_" she heard Kendal say reproachfully. "Wait until +you see it!" He experienced a shade of dejection, and +there was an instant's silence between them, during which +it seemed to Janet that the world was made over again. +"That young woman!" She disloyally extracted the last +suggestion of indifference out of the phrase, and found +it the sweetest she had heard for months. But her brain +whirled with the effort to decide what it could possibly +mean. + +"I hope you have made it as beautiful as Elfrida is," +she cried, with sharp self-reproof. "It must have been +difficult to do that." + +"I have made it--what she is, I think," he answered, +again with that sudden gravity. "It is so like my conception +of her which I have never felt permitted to explain to +you, that I feel as if I had stolen a march upon her. +You must see it. When will you come? It goes in the day +after to-morrow, but I can't wait for your opinion till +it's hung." + +"I like your calm reliance upon the Committee," Janet +laughed. "Suppose--" + +"I won't. It will go on the line," Kendal returned +confidently. "I did nothing last year that I will permit +to be compared with it. Will you come to-morrow?" + +"Impossible; I haven't two consecutive minutes to-morrow. +We sail, you know, on Thursday." + +Kendal looked at her blankly. "You _sail?_ On Thursday?" + +"I am going to America, Lady Halifax and I. And Elizabeth, +of course. We are to be away a year. Lady Halifax is +buying tickets, I am collecting light literature, and +Elizabeth is in pursuit of facts. Oh, we are deep in +preparation. I thought you knew." + +"How could I possibly know?" + +"Elfrida didn't tell you, then?" + +"Did she know?" + +"Oh yes, ten days ago." + +"Odd that she didn't mention it." + +Janet told herself that it was odd, but found with some +surprise that it was not more than odd. There had been +a time when the discovery that she and her affairs were +of so little consequence to her friend would have given +her a wondering pang; but that time seemed to have passed. +She talked lightly on about her journey; her voice and +her thoughts, had suddenly been freed. She dilated upon +the pleasures she anticipated as if they had been real, +skimming over the long spaces of his silence, and gathering +gaiety as he grew more and more sombre. When he rose to +go their moods had changed: the brightness and the flush +were hers, and, his face spoke only of a puzzled dejection, +an anxious uncertainty. + +"So it is good-by," he said, as she gave him her hand, +"for a year!" + +Something in his voice made her look up suddenly, with +such an unconscious tenderness in her eyes as he had +never seen in any other woman's. She dropped them before +he could be quite certain he recognized it, though his +heart was beating in a way which told him there had been +no mistake. + +"Lady Halifax means it to be a year," she answered--and +surely, since it was to be a year, he might keep her hand +an instant longer. + +The full knowledge of what this woman was to him seemed +to descend upon John Kendal then, and he stood silent +under it, pale and grave-eyed, baring his heart to the +rush of the first serious emotion life had brought him, +filled with a single conscious desire--that she should +show him that sweetness in her eyes again. But she looked +wilfully down, and he could only come closer to her, with +a sudden muteness upon his ready lips, and a strange +new-born fear wrestling for possession of him. For in +that moment Janet, hitherto so simple, so approachable, +as it were so available, had become remote, difficult, +incomprehensible. Kendal invested her with the change in +himself, and quivered in uncertainty as to what it might +do with her. He seemed to have nothing to trust to but +that one glance for knowledge of the girl his love had +newly exalted; and still she stood before him looking +down. He took two or three vague steps into the middle +of the room, drawing her with him. In their nearness to +each other the silence between them held them +intoxicatingly, and he had her in his arms before he +found occasion to say, between his lingering kisses upon +her hair, "You can't go, Janet. You must stay--and marry +me." + + * * * * * * * * + +"I don't know," wrote Lawrence Cardiff in a postscript +to a note to Miss Bell that evening, "that Janet will +thank me for forestalling her with such all-important +news, but I can't resist the pleasure of telling you that +she and Kendal got themselves engaged, without so much +as a 'by your leave' to me, this afternoon. The young +man shamelessly stayed to dinner, and I am informed that +they mean to be married in June. Kendal is full of your +portrait; we are to see it to-morrow. I hope he has +arranged that we shall have the advantage of comparing +it with the original." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + +"Miss Cardiff's in the lib'ry, sir," said the housemaid, +opening, the door for Kendal next morning with a smile +which he did not find too broadly sympathetic. He went +up the stairs two steps at a time, whistling like a +schoolboy. + +"Lady Halifax says," he announced, taking immediate +possession of Janet where she stood, and drawing her to +a seat beside him on the lounge, "that the least we can +do by way of reparation is to arrange our wedding-trip +in their society. She declares she will wait any reasonable +time; but I assured her delicately that her idea of +compensation was a little exaggerated." + +Janet looked at him with an, absent smile. "Yes, I think +so," she said, but her eyes were preoccupied, and the +lover in him resented it. + +"What is it?" he asked. "What has happened, dear?" + +She looked down at an open letter in her hand, and for +a moment said nothing. "I don't know whether I ought to +tell you; but it would be a relief." + +"Can there be anything you ought not to tell me?" he +insisted tenderly. + +"Perhaps, on the other hand, I ought," she said +reflectively. "It may help you to a proper definition of +my character, and then--you may think less of me. Yes, +I think I ought." + +"Darling, for Heaven's sake don't talk nonsense!" + +"I had a letter--this letter--a little while ago, from +Elfrida Bell." She held it out to him. "Read it." + +Kendal hesitated and scanned her face. She was smiling +now; she had the look of half-amused dismay that might +greet an ineffectual blow. He took the letter. + +"If it is from Miss Bell," he said at a suggestion from +his conscience, "I fancy, for some reason, it is not +pleasant." + +"No," she replied, "it is not pleasant." + +He unfolded the letter, recognizing the characteristic +broad margins and the repressed rounded perpendicular +hand with its supreme effort after significance, and his +thought reflected a tinge of his old amused curiosity. +It was only a reflection, and yet it distinctly embodied +the idea that he might be on the brink of a further +discovery. He glanced at Janet again: her hands were +clasped in her lap, and she was looking straight before +her with smilingly grave lips and lowered lids, which +nevertheless gave him a glimpse of retrospection. He +felt the beginnings of indignation, yet he looked back +at the letter acquisitively; its interest was intrinsic. + +"I feel that I can no longer hold myself in honor," he +read, "if I refrain further from defining the personal +situation between us as it appears to me. That I have +let nearly three weeks go by without doing it you may +put down to my weakness and selfishness, to your own +charm, to what you will; but I shall be glad if you will +not withhold the blame that is due me in the matter, for +I have wronged you, as well as myself, in keeping silence. + +"Look, it is all here in a nutshell. _Nothing is changed_. +I have tried to believe otherwise, but the truth is +stronger than my will. My opinion of you is a naked, +uncompromising fact I cannot drape it or adorn it, or +even throw around it a mist of charity. It is unalterably +there, and in any future intercourse with you, such +intercourse as we have had in the past, I should only +dash myself forever against it. I do not clearly see upon +what level you accepted me in the beginning, but I am +absolutely firm in my belief that it was not such as I +would have tolerated if I had known. To-day at all events +I am confronted with the proof that I have not had your +confidence--that you have not thought it worth while to +be single-minded in your relation to me. From a personal +point of view there is more that I might say, but perhaps +that is damning enough, and I have no desire to be abusive. +It is on my conscience to add, moreover, that I find you +a sophist, and your sophistry a little vulgar. I find +you compromising with your ambitions, which in themselves +are not above reproach from any point of view. I find +you adulterating what ought to be the pure stream of +ideality with muddy considerations of what the people +are pleased to call the moralities, and with the feebler +contamination of the conventionalities--" + +"I _couldn't_ smoke with her," commented Janet, reading +over his shoulder. "It wasn't that I objected in the +least, but it made me so very--uncomfortable, that I +would never try a second time." + +Kendal's smile deepened, and he read on without answering, +except by pressing her finger-tips against his lips. + +"I should be sorry to deny your great cleverness and your +pretensions to a certain sort of artistic interpretation. +But to me the _artist bourgeois_ is an outsider, who must +remain outside. He has nothing to gain by fellowship with +me, and I--pardon me--have much to lose. + +"So, if you please, we will go our separate ways, and +doubtless will represent, each to the other, an experiment +that has failed. You will believe me when I say that I +am intensely sorry. And perhaps you will accept, as +sincerely as I offer it, my wish that the future may +bring you success even more brilliant than you have +already attained." Here a line had been carefully scratched +out. "What I have written I have written under compulsion. +I am sure you will understand that. + +"Believe me, + +"Yours sincerely, + +"ELFRIDA BELL. + +"P.S.--I had a dream once of what I fancied our friendship +might be. It is a long time ago, and the days between +have faded all the color and sweetness out of my +dream--still, I remember that it was beautiful. For the +sake of that vain imagining, and because it was beautiful, +I will send you, if you will allow me, a photograph of +a painting which I like, which represents art as I have +learned to kneel to it." + +Kendal read this communication through with a look of +keen amusement until he came to the postscript. Then he +threw back his head and laughed outright. Janet's face +had changed; she tried to smile in concert, but the effort +was rather piteous. "Oh, Jack," she said, "please take +it seriously." But he laughed on, irrepressibly. + +She tried to cover his lips. "_Don't_ shout so!" she +begged, as if there were illness in the house or a funeral +next door, and he saw something in her face which stopped +him. + +"My darling, it can't hurt--it doesn't, does it?" + +"I'd like to say no, but it does, a little. Not so much +as it would have done a while ago." + +"Are you going to accept Miss Bell's souvenir of her +shattered ideal? That's the best thing in the letter +--that's really supreme!" and Kendal, still broadly +mirthful, stretched out his hand to take it again; but +Janet drew it back. + +"No," she said, "of course not; that was silly of her. +But a good deal of the rest is true, I'm afraid, Jack." + +"It's damnably impudent," he cried, with, sudden anger. +"I suppose she believes it herself, and that's the measure +of its truth. How dare she dogmatize to you about the +art of your work! _She_ to _you_!" + +"Oh, it isn't that I care about. It doesn't matter to +me, how little she thinks of my aims and my methods. I'm +quite content to do my work with what artistic conception +I've got without analyzing its quality--I'm thankful +enough to have any. Besides, I'm not sure about the +finality of her opinion--" + +"You needn't be!" Kendal interrupted, with scorn. + +"But what hurts--like a knife--is that part about my +insincerity. I _haven't_ been honest with her--I haven't! +From the very beginning I've criticised her privately. +I've felt all sorts of reserves and qualifications about +her, and concealed them--for the sake of--of I don't know +what--the pleasure I had in knowing her, I suppose." + +"It seems to me pretty clear, from this precious +communication, that she was quietly reciprocating," Kendal +said bluntly. + +"That doesn't clear me in the least. Besides, when she +had made up her mind she had the courage to tell me what +she thought; there was some principle in that. I--I admire +her for doing it, but I couldn't, myself." + +"Thank the Lord, no. And I wouldn't be too sure, if I +were you, darling, about the unmixed heroism that dictates +her letter. I dare say she fancied it was that, but--" + +Janet's head leaped up from his shoulder. "Now you are +unjust to her," she cried. "You don't know Elfrida, Jack. +If you think her capable of assuming a motive--" + +"Well, do you know what I think?" said Kendal, with an +irrelevant smile, glancing at the letter in her hand. "I +think she has kept a copy." + +Janet looked at him with reproachful eyes, which +nevertheless had the relief of amusement in them. "Don't +you?" he insisted. + +"I--dare say." + +"And she thoroughly enjoyed writing as she did. The +phrases read as if she had rolled them under her tongue. +It was a _coup_, don't you see?--and the making of a +_coup_, of any kind, at any expense, is the most refined +joy which life affords that young woman." + +"There's sincerity in every line." + +"Oh, she means what she says. But she found an exquisite +gratification in saying it which you cannot comprehend, +dear. This letter is a flower of her egotism, as it +were--she regards it with natural ecstasy, as an +achievement." + +Janet shook her head. "Oh no, no" she cried miserably. +"You can't realize the--the sort of thing there was +between us, dear, and how it should have been sacred to +me beyond all tampering and cavilling, or it should not +have been at all. It isn't that I didn't know all the +time that I was disloyal to her, while she thought I was +sincerely her friend. I did! And now she has found me +out, and it serves me perfectly right--perfectly." + +Kendal reflected for a moment, and then he brought comfort +to her from his last resource. + +"Of course the intimacy between two girls is a wholly +different thing, and I don't know whether the relation +between Miss Bell and myself affords any parallel to +it--" + +"Oh, Jack! And I thought--" + +"What did you think, dearest?" + +"I thought," said Janet, in a voice considerably muffled +by contact with his tweed coat collar, "that you were +perfectly _madly_ in love with her." + +"Heavens!" Kendal cried, as if the contingency had been +physically impossible. "It is a man's privilege to fall +in love with a woman, darling--not with an incarnate +idea." + +"It's a very beautiful idea." + +"I'm not sure of that--it looks well from the outside. +But it is quite incapable of any growth or much, change," +Kendal went on musingly, "and in the end--Lord, how a +man would be bored!" + +"You are incapable of being fair to her," came from the +coat collar. + +"Perhaps. I have something else to think of--since +yesterday. Janet, look up!" + +She looked up, and for a little space Elfrida Bell found +oblivion as complete as she could have desired between +them. Then-- + +"You were telling me--" Janet said. + +"Yes. Your Elfrida and I had a sort of friendship too--it +began, as you know, in Paris. And I was quite aware that +one does not have an ordinary friendship with her--it +accedes and it exacts more than the common relation. And +I've sometimes made myself uncomfortable with the idea +that she gave me credit for a more faultless conception +of her than I possessed; for the honest, brutal truth +is, I'm afraid, that I've only been working her out. +When the portrait was finished I found that somehow I +had succeeded. She saw it, too, and so I fancy my false +position has righted itself. So I haven't been sincere +to her either, Janet. But my conscience seems fairly +callous about it. I can't help reflecting that we are to +other people pretty much what they deserve that we shall +be. We can't control our own respect." + +"I've lost hers," Janet repeated, with depression, and +Kendal gave an impatient groan. + +"I don't think you'll miss it," he said. + +"And, Jack, haven't you any--compunctions about exhibiting +that portrait?" + +"Absolutely none." He looked at her with candid eyes. +"Of course if she wished me to I would destroy it. I +respect her property in it so far as that. But so long +as she accepts it as the significant truth it is, I am +entirely incapable of regretting it. I have painted her, +with her permission, as I saw her, as she is. If I had +given her a, squint or a dimple, I could accuse myself; +but I have not wronged her or gratified myself by one +touch of misrepresentation." + +"I am to see it this afternoon," said Janet. Unconsciously +she was looking forward to finding some measure of +justification for herself in the portrait; why, it would +be difficult to say. + +"Yes; I put it into its frame with my own hands yesterday. +I don't know when anything has given me so much pleasure. +And so far as Miss Bell is concerned," he went on, "it +is an unpleasant thing to say, but one's acquaintance +with her seems more and more to resolve itself into an +opportunity for observation, and to be without significance +other than that. I tell you frankly I began to see that +when I found I shared what she called her friendship with +Golightly Ticke. And I think, dear, with people like you +and me, any more serious feeling toward her is impossible." + +"Doesn't it distress you to think that she believes you +incapable of speaking of her like this?" + +"I think," said Kendal slowly, "that she knows how I +would be likely to speak of her." + +"Well," Janet returned, "I'm glad you haven't reason to +suffer about her as I do. And I don't know at all how to +answer her letter." + +"I'll tell you," Kendal replied. He jumped up and brought +her a pen and a sheet of paper and a blotting pad, and +sat down again beside her, holding the ink bottle. "Write +'My dear Miss Bell.'" + +"But she began her letter, without any formality." + +"Never mind; that's a cheapness that you needn't imitate, +even for the sake of politeness. Write 'My dear Miss Bell.'" + +Janet wrote it. + +"'I am sorry to find,'" Kendal dictated slowly, a few +words at a time, "'that the flaws in my regard for you +are sufficiently considerable--to attract your attention +as strongly as your letter indicates. The right of judgment +in so personal a matter--is indisputably yours, however--and +I write to acknowledge, not to question it.'" + +"Dear, that isn't as I feel." + +"It's as you will feel," Kendal replied ruthlessly. "Now +add: 'I have to acknowledge the very candid expression +of your opinion of myself--which does not lose in +interest--by the somewhat exaggerated idea of its value +which appears to have dictated it,--and to thank you, +for your extremely kind offer to send me a picture. I am +afraid, however--even in view of the idyllic considerations +you mention--I cannot allow myself to take advantage of +that--" + +"On the whole I wouldn't allude to the shattered ideal--" + +"Oh-no, dear. Go on." + +"Or the fact that you probably wouldn't be able to hang +it up," he added grimly. "Now write 'You may be glad to +know that the episode in my life--which your letter +terminates--appears to me to be of less importance than +you perhaps imagine it--notwithstanding a certain soreness +over its close.'" + +"It doesn't, Jack." + +"It will. I wouldn't say anything more, if I were you; +just 'yours very truly, Janet Cardiff.'" + +She wrote as he dictated, and then read the letter slowly +over from the beginning. "It sounds very hard, dear," +she said, lifting eyes to his which he saw were full of +tears, "and as if I didn't care." + +"My darling," he said, taking her into his arms, "I hope +you don't--I hope you won't care, after to-morrow. And +now, don't you think we've had enough of Miss Elfrida +Bell for the present?" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + +At three o'clock, an hour before he expected the Cardiffs, +John Kendal ran up the stairs to his studio. The door +stood ajar, and with a jealous sense of his possession +within, he reproached himself for his carelessness in +leaving it so. He had placed the portrait the day before +where all the light in the room fell upon it, and his +first hasty impression of the place assured him that it +stood there still. When he looked directly at it he +instinctively shut the door, made a step or two forward, +closed his eyes and so stood for a moment, with his hands +before them. Then, with a groan, "Damnation!" he opened +them again and faced the fact. The portrait was literally +in rags: They hung from the top of the frame and swung +over the bottom of it Hardly enough of the canvas remained +unriddled to show that it had represented anything human. +Its destruction was absolute--fiendish, it seemed to +Kendal. + +He dropped into a chair and stared with his knee locked +in his hands. + +"Damnation!" he repeated, with a white face. "I'll never +approach it again;" and then he added grimly, still +speaking aloud, "Janet will say I deserved it." + +He had not an instant's doubt of the author of the +destruction, and he remembered with a flash in connection +with it the little silver-handled Algerian dagger that +pinned one of Nadie Palicsky's studies against the wall +of Elfrida's room. It was not till a quarter of an hour +afterward that he thought it worth while to pick up the +note that lay on the table addressed to him, and then he +opened it with a nauseated sense of her unnecessary +insistence. + +"I have come here this morning," Elfrida had written, +"determined to either kill myself or IT. It is impossible, +I find, notwithstanding all that I said, that both should +continue to exist. I cannot explain further, you must +not ask it of me. You may not believe me when I tell you +that I struggled hard to let it be myself. I had such a +hideous doubt as to which had the best right to live. +But I failed there--death is too ghastly. So I did what +you see. In doing it I think I committed the unforgivable +sin--not against you, but against art. It may be some +satisfaction to you to know that I shall never wholly +respect myself again in consequence." A word or two +scratched out, and then: "Understand that I bear no malice +toward you, have no blame for you, only honor. You acted +under the very highest obligation--you could not have +done otherwise. * * * * * And I am glad to think that I +do not destroy with your work the joy you had in it. +* * *" + +Kendal noted the consideration of this final statement +with a cynical laugh, and counted the asterisks. Why +the devil hadn't he locked the door? His confidence in +her had been too ludicrous. He read the note half through +once again, and then with uncontrollable impatience tore +it into shreds. To have done it at all was hideous, but +to try and impress herself in doing it was disgusting. +He reflected, with a smile of incredulous contempt, upon +what she had said about killing herself, and wondered, +in his anger, how she could be so blind to her own +disingenuousness. Five asterisks--she had made them +carefully--and then the preposterousness about what she +had destroyed and what she hadn't destroyed; and then +more asterisks. What had she thought they could possibly +signify--what could anything she might say possibly +signify? + +In a savage rudimentary way he went over the ethical +aspect of the affair, coming to no very clear conclusion. +He would have destroyed the thing himself if she had +asked him, but she should have asked him. And even in +his engrossing indignation he could experience a kind of +spiritual blush as he recognized how safe his concession +was behind the improbability of its condition. Finally +he wrote a line to Janet, informing her that the portrait +had sustained an injury, and postponing her and her +father's visit to the studio. He would come, in the +morning to tell her about it, he added, and despatched +the missive by the boy downstairs, post-haste, in a cab. +It would be to-morrow, he reflected, before he could +screw himself up to talking about it, even to Janet. For +that day he must be alone with his discomfiture. + +* * * * * + +In the days of his youth and adversity, long before he +and the public were upon speaking terms, Mr. George +Jasper had found encouragement of a substantial sort with +Messrs. Pittman, Pitt & Sanderson, of Ludgate Hill, which +was a well-known explanation of the fact that this +brilliant author clung, in the main, to a rather +old-fashioned firm of publishers when the dimensions of +his reputation gave him a proportionate choice. It +explained also the circumstance that Mr. Jasper's notable +critical acumen was very often at the service of his +friend Mr. Pitt--Mr. Pittman was dead, as at least one +member of a London publishing firm is apt to be--in cases +where manuscripts of any curiously distinctive character, +from unknown authors, puzzled his perception of the truly +expedient thing to do. Mr. Arthur Rattray, of the +_Illustrated Age_, had personal access to Mr. Pitt, and +had succeeded in confusing him very much indeed as to +the probable success of a book by an impressionistic +young lady friend of his, which he called "An Adventure +in Stage-Land," and which Mr. Rattray declared to have +every element of unconventional interest. Mr. Pitt +distrusted unconventional interest, distrusted +impressionistic literature, and especially distrusted +books by young lady friends. Rattray, nevertheless showed +a suspicious indifference to its being accepted, and an +irritating readiness to take it somewhere else, and Mr. +Pitt knew Rattray for a sagacious man. And so it happened +that, returning late from a dinner where he had taken +refuge from being bored entirely-to extinction in two or +three extremely indigestible, dishes, Mr. George Jasper +found Elfrida's manuscript in a neat, thick, oblong paper +parcel, waiting for him on his dressing-table. He felt +himself particularly wide awake, and he had a consciousness +that the evening had made a very small inroad upon his +capacity for saying clever things. So he went over "An +Adventure in Stage-Land" at once, and in writing his +opinion of it to Mr. Pitt, which he did with some +elaboration, a couple of hours later, he had all the +relief of a revenge upon a well-meaning hostess, without +the reproach of having done her the slightest harm. It +is probable that if Mr. Jasper had known that the opinion +of the firm's "reader" was to find its way to the author, +he would have expressed himself in terms of more guarded +commonplace, for we cannot believe that he still cherished +a sufficiently lively resentment at having his hand +publicly kissed by a pretty girl to do otherwise; but +Mr. Pitt had not thought it necessary to tell him of this +condition, which Rattray, at Elfrida's express desire, +had exacted. As it happened, nobody can ever know precisely +what he wrote, except Mr. Pitt, who has forgotten, and +Mr. Arthur Rattray, who tries to forget; for the letter, +the morning after it had been received, which was the +morning after the portrait met its fate, lay in a little +charred heap in the fireplace of Elfrida's room, when +Janet Cardiff pushed the screen aside at last and went in. + +Kendal had come as he promised, and told her everything. +He had not received quite the measure of indignant sympathy +he had expected, and Janet had not laughed at the asterisks. +On the other hand, she had sent him away, with unnatural +gravity-of demeanor, rather earlier than he meant to go, +and without telling him why. She thought, as she directed +the cabman to Essex Court, Fleet Street, that she would +tell him why afterward; and all the way there she thought +of the most explicit terms in which to inform Elfrida +that her letter had been the product of hardness of heart, +that she really felt quite differently, and had come to +tell her, purely for honesty's sake, how she did feel. + +After a moment of ineffectual calling on the other side +of the screen, her voice failed her, and in dumb terror +that would not be reasoned away it seemed that she saw +the outlines of the long, still, slender figure under +the bed draperies, while she still looked helplessly at +a flock of wild geese flying over Fugi Yama. Buddha smiled +at her from the table with a kind of horrid expectancy, +and the litter, of papers round him, in Elfrida's +handwriting, mixed their familiarity with his mockery. +She had only to drag her trembling limbs a little further +to know that the room was pregnant with the presence of +death. Some white tuberoses in a vase seemed to make it +palpable with their fragrance. She ran wildly to the +window and drew back the curtain; the pale sunlight +flooding in gave a little white nimbus to a silver ring +upon the floor. + +The fact may not be without interest that six months +afterward "An Adventure in Stage-Land" was published by +Messrs. Lash and Black, and met with a very considerable +success. Mr. Arthur Rattray undertook its disposal, with +the consent of Mr. and Mrs. Leslie Bell, who insisted, +without much difficulty, that he should receive a percentage +of the profits for his trouble. Mr. Rattray was also of +assistance to them when, as soon as the expense could be +managed, these two middle-aged Americans, whose grief +was not less impressive because of its twang, arrived in +London to arrange that their daughter's final resting-place +should be changed to her native land. Mr. Bell told him +in confidence that while he hoped he was entirely devoid +of what you may call race prejudice against the English +people, it didn't, seem as if he could let anybody +belonging to him lie under the British flag for all time, +and found it a comfort that Rattray understood. Sparta +is divided in its opinion whether the imposing red granite +monument they erected in the cemetery, with plenty of +space left for the final earthly record of Leslie and +Margaret Bell, is not too expensive considering the Bells' +means, and too conspicuous considering the circumstances. +It has hitherto occurred to nobody, however, to doubt +the appropriateness of the texts inscribed upon it, in +connection with three little French words which Elfrida, +in the charmingly apologetic letter which she left for +her parents, commanded to be put there--"_Pas +femme-artiste_." Janet, who once paid a visit to the +place, hopes in all seriousness that the sleeper underneath +is not aware of the combination. + +Miss Kimpsey boards with the Bells now, and her relation +to them has become almost daughterly. The three are +swayed, to the extent of their several capacities, by +what one might call a cult of Elfrida--her death has +long ago been explained by the fact that a grandaunt of +Mrs. Bell's suffered from melancholia. + +Mr. and Mrs, John Kendal's delightful circle of friends +say that they live an idyllic life in Devonshire. But +even in the height of some domestic joy a silence sometimes +falls between them still. Then, I fancy, he is thinking +of an art that has slipped away from him, and she of a +loyalty she could not hold. The only person whose equanimity +is entirely undisturbed is Buddha. In his place among +the mournful Magdalens of Mrs. Bell's drawing-room in +Sparta, Buddha still smiles. + +THE END + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Daughter of To-Day +by Sara Jeannette Duncan (aka Mrs. Everard Cotes) + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 14490 *** diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bed4b36 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #14490 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/14490) diff --git a/old/14490.txt b/old/14490.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..edd5446 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/14490.txt @@ -0,0 +1,10772 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of A Daughter of To-Day +by Sara Jeannette Duncan (aka Mrs. Everard Cotes) + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: A Daughter of To-Day + +Author: Sara Jeannette Duncan (aka Mrs. Everard Cotes) + +Release Date: December 28, 2004 [EBook #14490] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DAUGHTER OF TO-DAY *** + + + + +This etext was produced by Gardner Buchanan. + + + + + + +A DAUGHTER OF TO-DAY +by Sara Jeannette Duncan + + + + +CHAPTER I. + +Miss Kimpsey dropped into an arm-chair in Mrs. Leslie +Bell's drawing-room and crossed her small dusty feet +before her while she waited for Mrs. Leslie Bell. Sitting +there, thinking a little of how tired she was and a great +deal of what she had come to say, Miss Kimpsey enjoyed +a sense of consideration that came through the ceiling +with the muffled sound of rapid footsteps in the chamber +above. Mrs. Bell would be "down in a minute," the maid +had said. Miss Kimpsey was inclined to forgive a greater +delay, with this evidence of hasteful preparation going +on overhead. The longer she had to ponder her mission +the better, and she sat up nervously straight pondering +it, tracing with her parasol a sage-green block in the +elderly aestheticated pattern of the carpet. + +Miss Kimpsey was thirty-five, with a pale, oblong +little face, that looked younger under its softening +"bang" of fair curls across the forehead. She was a +buff-and-gray-colored creature, with a narrow square chin +and narrow square shoulders, and a flatness and straightness +about her everywhere that gave her rather the effect of +a wedge, to which the big black straw hat she wore tilted +a little on one side somehow conduced. Miss Kimpsey might +have figured anywhere as a representative of the New +England feminine surplus--there was a distinct suggestion +of character under her unimportant little features--and +her profession was proclaimed in her person, apart from +the smudge of chalk on the sleeve of her jacket. She had +been born and brought up and left over in Illinois, +however, in the town of Sparta, Illinois. She had developed +her conscience there, and no doubt, if one knew it well, +it would show peculiarities of local expansion directly +connected with hot corn-bread for breakfast, as opposed +to the accredited diet of legumes upon which consciences +arrive at such successful maturity in the East. It was, +at all events, a conscience in excellent controlling +order. It directed Miss Kimpsey, for example, to teach +three times a week in the boys' night-school through the +winter, no matter how sharply the wind blew off Lake +Michigan, in addition to her daily duties at the High +School, where for ten years she had imparted instruction +in the "English branches," translating Chaucer into the +modern dialect of Sparta, Illinois, for the benefit of +Miss Elfrida Bell, among others. It had sent her on this +occasion to see Mrs. Leslie Bell, and Miss Kimpsey could +remember circumstances under which she had obeyed her +conscience with more alacrity. + +"It isn't," said Miss Kimpsey, with internal discouragement, +"as if I knew her well." + +Miss Kimpsey did not know Mrs. Bell at all well. Mrs. +Bell was president of the Browning Club, and Miss Kimpsey +was a member, they met, too, in the social jumble of +fancy fairs in aid of the new church organ; they had a +bowing acquaintance--that is, Mrs. Bell, had. Miss +Kimpsey's part of it was responsive, and she always gave +a thought to her boots and her gloves when she met Mrs. +Bell. It was not that the Spartan social circle which +Mrs. Bell adorned had any vulgar prejudice against the +fact that Miss Kimpsey earned her own living--more than +one of its ornaments had done the same thing--and Miss +Kimpsey's relations were all "in grain" and obviously +respectable. It was simply that none, of the Kimpseys, +prosperous or poor, had ever been in society in Sparta, +for reasons which Sparta itself would probably be unable +to define; and this one was not likely to be thrust among +the elect because she taught school and enjoyed life upon +a scale of ethics. + +Mrs. Bell's drawing-room was a slight distraction to Miss +Kimpsey's nervous thoughts. The little school-teacher +had never been in it before, and it impressed her. "It's +just what you would expect her parlor to be," she said +to herself, looking furtively round. She could not help +her sense of impropriety; she had always been taught that +it was very bad manners to observe anything hi another +person's house, but she could not help looking either. +She longed to get up and read the names of the books +behind the glass doors of the tall bookcase at the other +end of the room, for the sake of the little quiver of +respectful admiration she knew they would give her; but +she did not dare to do that. Her eyes went from the +bookcase to the photogravure of Dore's "Entry into +Jerusalem," under which three Japanese dolls were arranged +with charming effect. "The Reading Magdalen" caught them +next, a colored photograph, and then a Magdalen of more +obscure origin in much blackened oils and a very deep +frame; then still another Magdalen, more modern, in +monochrome. In fact, the room was full of Magdalens, and +on an easel in the corner stood a Mater Dolorosa, lifting +up her streaming eyes. Granting the capacity to take them +seriously, they might have depressed some people, but +they elevated Miss Kimpsey. + +She was equally elevated by the imitation willow pattern +plates over the door, and the painted yellow daffodils +on the panels, and the orange-colored _Revue des Deux +Mondes_ on the corner of the table, and the absence of +all bows or draperies from the furniture. Miss Kimpsey's +own parlor was excrescent with bows and draperies. "She +is above them," thought Miss Kimpsey, with a little pang. +The room was so dark that she could not see how old the +_Revue_ was; she did not know either that it was always +there, that unexceptionable Parisian periodical, with +Dante in the original and red leather, _Academy Notes_, +and the _Nineteenth Century_, all helping to furnish Mrs. +Leslie Bell's drawing-room in a manner in accordance with +her tastes; but if she had, Miss Kimpsey would have been +equally impressed. It took intellect even to select these +things. The other books, Miss Kimpsey noticed by the +numbers labelled on their backs, were mostly from the +circulating library--"David Grieve," "Cometh up as a +Flower," "The Earthly Paradise," Ruskin's "Stones of +Venice," Marie Corelli's "Romance of Two Worlds." The +mantelpiece was arranged in geometrical disorder, but it +had a gilt clock under a glass shade precisely in the +middle. When the gilt clock indicated, in a mincing way, +that Miss Kimpsey had been kept waiting fifteen minutes, +Mrs. Bell came in. She had fastened her last button and +assumed the expression appropriate to Miss Kimpsey at +the foot of the stair. She was a tall, thin woman, with +no color and rather narrow brown eyes much wrinkled round +about, and a forehead that loomed at you, and grayish +hair twisted high into a knot behind--a knot from which +a wispy end almost invariably escaped. When she smiled +her mouth curved downward, showing a number of large even +white teeth, and made deep lines which suggested various +things, according to the nature of the smile, on either +side of her face. As a rule one might take them to mean +a rather deprecating acceptance of life as it stands--they +seemed intended for that--and then Mrs. Bell would express +an enthusiasm and contradict them. As she came through +the door under the "Entry into Jerusalem," saying that +she really must apologize, she was sure it was unpardonable +keeping Miss Kimpsey waiting like this, the lines expressed +an intention of being as agreeable as possible without +committing herself to return Miss Kimpsey's visit. + +"Why, no, Mrs. Bell," Miss Kimpsey said earnestly, with +a protesting buff-and-gray smile, "I didn't mind waiting +a particle--honestly I didn't. Besides, I presume it's +early for a call; but I thought I'd drop in on my way +from school." Miss Kimpsey was determined that Mrs. Bell +should have every excuse that charity could invent for +her. She sat down again, and agreed with Mrs. Bell that +they were having lovely weather, especially when they +remembered what a disagreeable fall it had been last +year; certainly this October had been just about perfect. +The ladies used these superlatives in the tone of mild +defiance that almost any statement of fact has upon +feminine lips in America. It did not seem to matter that +their observations were entirely in union. + +"I thought I'd run in--" said Miss Kimpsey, screwing +herself up by the arm of her chair. + +"Yes?" + +"And speak to you about a thing I've been thinking a good +deal of, Mrs. Bell, this last day or two. It's about +Elfrida." + +Mrs. Bell's expression became judicial. If this was a +complaint--and she was not accustomed to complaints of +Elfrida--she would be careful how she took it. + +"I hope--" she began. + +"Oh, you needn't worry, Mrs. Bell. It's nothing about +her conduct, and it's nothing about her school work." + +"Well, that's a relief," said Mrs. Bell, as if she had +expected it would be. "But I know she's bad at figures. +The child can't help that, though; she gets it from me. +I think I ought to ask you to be lenient with her on that +account." + +"I have nothing to do with the mathematical branches, +Mrs, Bell. I teach only English to the senior classes. +But I haven't heard Mr. Jackson complain of Elfrida at +all." Feeling that she could no longer keep her errand +at arm's length, Miss Kimpsey desperately closed with +it. "I've come--I hope you won't mind--Mrs. Bell, Elfrida +has been quoting Rousseau in her compositions, and I +thought you'd like to know." + +"In the original?" asked Mrs. Bell, with interest. "I +didn't think her French was advanced enough for that." + +"No, from a translation," Miss Kimpsey replied. "Her +sentence ran: 'As the gifted Jean Jacques Rousseau told +the world in his "Confessions"'--I forget the rest. That +was the part that struck me most. She had evidently been +reading the works of Rousseau." + +"Very likely. Elfrida has her own subscription at the +library," Mrs. Bell said speculatively. "It shows a taste +in reading beyond her years, doesn't it, Miss Kimpsey? +The child is only fifteen." + +"Well, _I've_ never read Rousseau," the little teacher +stated definitely. "Isn't he--atheistical, Mrs. Bell, +and improper every way?" + +Mrs. Bell raised her eyebrows and pushed out her lips at +the severity of this ignorant condemnation. "He was a +genius, Miss Kimpsey--rather I should say he _is_, for +genius cannot die. He is much thought of in France. People +there make a little shrine of the house he occupied with +Madame Warens, you know." + +"Oh!" returned Miss Kimpsey, "_French_ people." + +"Yes. The French are peculiarly happy in the way they +sanctify genius," said Mrs. Bell vaguely, with a feeling +that she was wasting a really valuable idea. + +"Well, you'll have to excuse me, Mrs. Bell. I'd always +heard you entertained about as liberal views as there +were going on any subject, but I didn't expect they +embraced Rousseau." Miss Kimpsey spoke quite meekly. "I +know we live in an age of progress, but I guess I'm not +as progressive as some." + +"Many will stay behind," interrupted Mrs. Bell impartially, +"but many more will advance." + +"And I thought maybe Elfrida had been reading that author +without your knowledge or approval, and that perhaps +you'd like to know." + +"I neither approve nor disapprove," said Mrs. Bell, +poising her elbow on the table, her chin upon her hand, +and her judgment, as it were, upon her chin. "I think +her mind ought to develop along the lines that nature +intended; I think nature is wiser than I am"--there was +an effect of condescending explanation here--"and I don't +feel justified in interfering. I may be wrong--" + +"Oh no!" said Miss Kimpsey. + +"But Elfrida's reading has always been very general. She +has a remarkable mind, if you will excuse my saying so; +it devours everything. I can't tell you _when_ she learned +to read, Miss Kimpsey--it seemed to come to her. She has +often reminded me of what you see in the biographies of +distinguished people about their youth. There are really +a great many points of similarity sometimes. I shouldn't +be surprised if Elfrida did anything. I wish _I_ had +had her opportunities!" + +"She's growing very good-looking," remarked Miss Kimpsey. + +"It's an interesting face," Mrs. Bell returned. "Here +is her last photograph. It's full of soul, I think. She +posed herself," Mrs. Bell added unconsciously. + +It was a cabinet photograph of a girl whose eyes looked +definitely out of it, dark, large, well shaded, full of +a desire to be beautiful at once expressed and fulfilled. +The nose was a trifle heavily blocked, but the mouth had +sensitiveness and charm. There was a heaviness in the +chin, too, but the free springing curve of the neck +contradicted that, and the symmetry of the face defied +analysis. It was turned a little to one side, wistfully; +the pose and the expression suited each other perfectly. + +"_Full_ of soul!" responded Miss Kimpsey. "She takes +awfully well, doesn't she! It reminds me--it reminds me +of pictures I've seen of Rachel, the actress, really it +does." + +"I'm afraid Elfrida has no talent _that_ way." Mrs. +Bell's accent was quite one of regret. + +"She seems completely wrapped up in her painting just +now," said Miss Kimpsey, with her eyes still on the +photograph. + +"Yes; I often wonder what her career will be, and sometimes +it comes home to me that it must be art. The child can't +help it--she gets it straight from me. But there were no +art classes in my day." Mrs. Bell's tone implied a large +measure of what the world had lost in consequence. "Mr. +Bell doesn't agree with me about Elfrida's being predestined +for art," she went on, smiling; "his whole idea is that +she'll marry like other people." + +"Well, if she goes on improving in looks at the rate she +has, you'll find it difficult to _prevent_, I should +think, Mrs. Bell." Miss Kimpsey began to wonder at her +own temerity in staying so long. "Should you be opposed +to it?" + +"Oh, I shouldn't be _opposed_ to it exactly. I won't say +I don't expect it. I think she might do better, myself; +but I dare say matrimony will swallow her up as it does +everybody--almost everybody--else." A finer ear than Miss +Kimpsey's might have heard in this that to overcome Mrs. +Bell's objections matrimony must take a very attractive +form indeed, and that she had no doubt it would. Elfrida's +instructress did not hear it; she might have been less +overcome with the quality of these latter-day sentiments +if she had. Little Miss Kimpsey, whom matrimony had not +swallowed up, had risen to go. "Oh, I'm sure the most +gifted couldn't do _better_!" she said, hardily, in +departing, with a blush that turned her from buff-and-gray +to brick color. + +Mrs. Bell picked up the _Revue_ after she had gone, and +read three lines of a paper on the climate and the soil +of Poland. Then she laid it down again at the same angle +with the corner of the table which it had described +before. + +"Rousseau!" she said aloud to herself. "_C'est un peu +fort mais--_" and paused, probably for maturer reflection +upon the end of her sentence. + + + + +CHAPTER II. + +"Leslie." said Mrs. Bell, making the unnecessary feminine +twist to get a view of her back hair from the mirror with +a hand-glass, "aren't you _delighted?_ Try to be candid +with yourself now, and own that she's tremendously +improved." + +It would not have occurred to anybody but Mrs. Bell to +ask Mr. Leslie Bell to be candid with himself. Candor +was written in large letters all over Mr. Leslie Bell's +plain, broad countenance. So was a certain obstinacy, +not of will, but of adherence to prescribed principles, +which might very well have been the result of living for +twenty years with Mrs. Leslie Bell. Otherwise he was a +thick-set man with an intelligent bald head, a fresh-colored +complexion, and a well-trimmed gray beard. Mr. Leslie +Bell looked at life with logic, or thought he did, and +took it with ease, in a plain way. He was known to be a +good man of business, with a leaning toward generosity, +and much independence of opinion. It was not a custom +among election candidates to ask Leslie Bell for his +vote. It was pretty well understood that nothing would +influence it except his "views," and that none of the +ordinary considerations in use with refractory electors +would influence his views. He was a man of large, +undemonstrative affections, and it was a matter of private +regret with him that there should have been only one +child, and that a daughter, to bestow them upon. His +simplicity of nature was utterly beyond the understanding +of his wife, who had been building one elaborate theory +after another about him ever since they had been married, +conducting herself in mysterious accordance, but had +arrived accurately only at the fact that he preferred +two lumps of sugar in his tea. + +Mr. Bell did not allow his attention to be taken from +the intricacies of his toilet by his wife's question +until she repeated it. + +"Aren't you charmed with Elfrida, Leslie? Hasn't +Philadelphia improved her beyond your wildest dreams?" + +Mr. Bell reflected. "You know I don't think Elfrida has +ever been as pretty as she was when she was five years +old, Maggie." + +"_Do_ say Margaret," interposed Mrs. Bell plaintively. +She had been suffering from this for twenty years. + +"It's of no use, my dear; I never remember unless there's +company present. I was going to say Elfrida had certainly +grown. She's got to her full size now, I should think, +and she dwarfs you, moth--Margaret." + +Mrs. Bell looked at him with tragic eyes. "Do you see no +more in her than _that?_" she exclaimed. + +"She looks well, I admit she looks well. She seems to +have got a kind of style in Philadelphia." + +"_Style!_" + +"I don't mean fashionable style--a style of her own; and +according to the professors, neither the time nor the +money has been wasted. But she's been a long year away, +Maggie. It's been considerably dull without her for you +and me. I hope she won't take it into her head to want +to leave home again." + +"If it should be necessary to her plan of life--" + +"It won't be necessary. She's nineteen now, and I'd like +to see her settle down here in Sparta, and the sooner +the better. Her painting will be an interest for her all +her life, and if ever she should be badly off she can +teach. That was my idea in giving her the training." + +"Settle down in _Sparta!_" Mrs. Bell repeated, with a +significant curve of her superior lip. "Why, who is +there--" + +"Lots of people, though it isn't for me to name them, +nor for you either, my dear. But speaking generally, +there isn't a town of its size in the Union with a finer +crop of go-ahead young men in it than Sparta." + +Mrs. Bell was leaning against the inside shutter of their +bedroom window, looking out, while she waited for her +husband. As she looked, one of Sparta's go-ahead young +men, glancing up as he passed in the street below and +seeing her there behind the panes, raised his hat. + +"Heavens, _no!_" said Mrs. Bell. "You don't understand, +Leslie." + +"Perhaps not," Mr. Bell returned. "We must get that +packing-case opened after dinner. I'm anxious to see the +pictures." Mr. Bell put the finishing touches to his +little finger-nail and briskly pocketed his penknife. +"Shall we go downstairs now?" he suggested. "Fix your +brooch, mother; it's just on the drop." + +Elfrida Bell had been a long year away--a year that seemed +longer to her than it possibly could to anybody in Sparta, +as she privately reflected when her father made this +observation for the second and the third time. Sparta +accounted for its days chiefly in ledgers, the girl +thought; there was a rising and a going down of the sun, +a little eating and drinking and speedy sleeping, a little +discussion of the newspapers. Sparta got over its days +by strides and stretches, and the strides and stretches +seemed afterward to have been made over gaps and gulfs +full of emptiness. The year divided itself and got its +painted leaves, its white silences, its rounding buds, +and its warm fragrances from the winds of heaven, and so +there were four seasons in Sparta, and people talked of +an early spring or a late fall; but Elfrida told herself +that time had no other division, and the days no other +color. Elfrida seemed to be unaware of the opening of +the new South Ward Episcopal Methodist Church. She +overlooked the municipal elections too, the plan for +overhauling the town waterworks, and the reorganization +of the public library. She even forgot the Browning Club. + +Whereas--though Elfrida would never have said "whereas" +--the days in Philadelphia had been long and full. She +had often lived a week in one of them, and there had been +hours that stretched themselves over an infinity of life +and feeling, as Elfrida saw it, looking back. In reality, +her experience had been usual enough and poor enough; +but it had fed her in a way, and she enriched it with +her imagination, and thought, with keen and sincere pity, +that she had been starved till then. The question that +preoccupied her when she moved out of the Philadelphia +station in the Chicago train was that of future sustenance. +It was under the surface of her thoughts when she kissed +her father and mother and was made welcome home; it raised +a mute remonstrance against Mr. Bell's cheerful prophecy +that she would be content to stay in Sparta for a while +now, and get to know the young society; it neutralized +the pleasure of the triumphs in the packing-box. Besides, +their real delight had all been exhaled at the students' +exhibition in Philadelphia, when Philadelphia looked at +them. The opinion of Sparta, Elfrida thought, was not a +matter for anxiety. Sparta would be pleased in advance. + +Elfrida allowed one extenuating point in her indictment +of Sparta: the place had produced her as she was at +eighteen, when they sent her to Philadelphia. This was +only half conscious--she was able to formulate it later +--but it influenced her sincere and vigorous disdain of +the town correctively, and we may believe that it operated +to except her father and mother from the general wreck +of her opinion to a greater extent than any more ordinary +feeling did. It was not in the least a sentiment of +affection for her birthplace; if she could have chosen +she would very much have preferred to be born somewhere +else. It was simply an important qualifying circumstance. +Her actual and her ideal self, her most mysterious and +interesting self, had originated in the air and the +opportunities of Sparta. Sparta had even done her the +service of showing her that she was unusual, by contrast, +and Elfrida felt that she ought to be thankful to somebody +or something for being as unusual as she was. She had +had a comfortable, spoiled feeling of gratitude for it +before she went to Philadelphia, which had developed in +the meantime into a shudder at the mere thought of what +it meant to be an ordinary person. "I could bear not to +be charming," said she sometimes to her Philadelphia +looking-glass, "but I could _not_ bear not to be clever." + +She said "clever," but she meant more than that. Elfrida +Bell believed that something other than cleverness entered +into her personal equation. She looked sometimes into +her very soul to see what, but the writing there was in +strange characters that faded under her eyes, leaving +her uncomprehending but tranced. Meanwhile art spoke to +her from all sides, finding her responsive and more +responsive. Some books, some pictures, some music brought +her a curious exalted sense of double life. She could +not talk about it at all, but she could slip out into +the wet streets on a gusty October evening, and walk +miles exulting in it, and in the light on the puddles +and in the rain on her face, coming back, it must be +admitted, with red cheeks and an excellent appetite. It +led her into strange absent silences and ways of liking +to be alone, which gratified her mother and worried her +father. When Elfrida burned the gas of Sparta late in +her own room, it was always her father who saw the light +under the door, and who came and knocked and told her +that it was after eleven, and high time she was in bed. +Mrs. Bell usually protested. "How can the child reach +any true development," she asked, "if you interfere with +her like this?" to which Mr. Bell usually replied that +whatever she developed, he didn't want it to be headaches +and hysteria. Elfrida invariably answered, "Yes, papa," +with complete docility; but it must be said that Mr. Bell +generally knocked in vain, and the more perfect the +submission of the daughterly reply the later the gas +would be apt to burn. Elfrida was always agreeable to +her father. So far as she thought of it she was +appreciatively fond of him, but the relation pleased her, +it was one that could be so charmingly sustained. For +already out of the other world she walked in--the world +of strange kinships and insights and recognitions, where +she saw truth afar off and worshipped, and as often met +falsehood in the way and turned raptly to follow--the +girl had drawn a vague and many-shaped idea of artistic +living which embraced the filial attitude among others +less explicable. It gave her pleasure to do certain things +in certain ways. She stood and sat and spoke, and even +thought, at times, with a subtle approval and enjoyment +of her manner of doing it. It was not actual artistic +achievement, but it was the sort of thing that entered +her imagination, as such achievement's natural corollary. +Her self-consciousness was a supreme fact of her +personality; it began earlier than any date she could +remember, and it was a channel of the most unfailing and +intense satisfaction to her from many sources. One was +her beauty, for she had developed an elusive beauty that +served her moods. When she was dull she called herself +ugly--unfairly, though her face lost tremendously in +value then--and her general dislike of dullness and +ugliness became particular and acute in connection with +herself. It is not too much to say that she took a keen +enjoying pleasure in the flush upon her own cheek and +the light in her own eyes no less than in the inward +sparkle that provoked it--an honest delight, she would +not have minded confessing it. Her height, her symmetry, +her perfect abounding health were separate joys to her; +she found absorbing and critical interest in the very +figment of her being. It was entirely preposterous that +a young woman should kneel at an attic window in a flood +of spring moonlight, with, her hair about the shoulders +of her nightgown, repeating Rossetti to the wakeful +budding garden, especially as it was for herself she did +it--nobody else saw her. She knelt there partly because +of a vague desire to taste the essence of the spring and +the garden and Rossetti at once, and partly because she +felt the romance of the foolish situation. She knew of +the shadow her hair made around her throat, and that her +eyes were glorious in the moonlight. Going back to bed, +she paused before the looking-glass and wafted a kiss, +as she blew the candle out, to the face she saw there. +It was such a pretty face, and so full of tire spirit +of. Rossetti and the moonlight, that she couldn't help +it. Then she slept, dreamlessly, comfortably, and late; +and in the morning she had never taken cold. + +Philadelphia had pointed and sharpened all this. The +girl's training there had vitalized her brooding dreams +of producing what she worshipped, had given shape and +direction to her informal efforts, had concentrated them +upon charcoal and canvas. There was an enthusiasm for +work in the Institute, a canonization of names, a blazing +desire to imitate that tried hard to fan itself into +originality. Elfrida kindled at once, and felt that her +soul had lodged forever In her fingers, that art had +found for her, once for all, a sacred embodiment. She +spoke with subdued feeling of its other shapes; she was +at all points sympathetic; but she was no longer at all +points desirous. Her aim was taken. She would not write +novels or compose operas; she would paint. There was some +renunciation in it and some humility. The day she came +home, looking over a dainty sandalwood box full of early +verses, twice locked against her mother's eye, "The desire +of the moth for the star," she said to herself; but she +did not tear them up. That would have been brutal. + +Elfrida wanted to put off opening the case that held her +year's work until next day. She quailed somewhat in +anticipation of her parents' criticisms as a matter of +fact; she would have preferred to postpone parrying them. +She acknowledged this to herself with a little irritation +that it should be so, but when her father insisted, chisel +in hand, she went down on her knees with charming +willingness to help him. Mrs. Bell took a seat on the +sofa and clasped her hands with the expression of one +who prepares for prayer. + +One by one Mr. Leslie Bell drew out his daughter's studies +and copies, cutting their strings, clearing them of their +paper wrappings, and standing each separately against +the wall in his crisp, business-like way. They were all +mounted and framed; they stood very well against the +wall; but Mr. Bell, who began hopefully, was presently +obliged to try to hide his disappointment, the row was +so persistently black and white. Mrs. Bell, on the sofa, +had the look of postponing her devotions. + +"You seem to have done a great many of these--etchings," +said Mr. Bell. + +"Oh, papa! They're not etchings, they're subjects in +charcoal--from casts and things." + +"They do you credit--I've no doubt they do you credit. +They're very nicely drawn," returned her father, "but +they're a good deal alike. We wont be able to hang more +than two of them in the same room. Was _that_ what they +gave you the medal for?" + +Mr. Bell indicated a drawing of Psyche. The lines were +delicate, expressive, and false; the relief was imperfect, +yet the feeling was undeniably caught. As a drawing it +was incorrect enough, but its charm lay in a subtle +spiritual something that bad worked into it from the +girl's own fingers, and made the beautiful empty classic +face modernly interesting. In view of its inaccuracy the +committee had been guilty of a most irregular proceeding +in recognizing it with a medal; but in a very young art +school this might be condoned. + +"It's a perfectly lovely thing," interposed Mrs. Bell +from the sofa. "I'm sure it deserves one." + +Elfrida said nothing. The study was ticketed, it had +obviously won a medal. + +Mr. Bell looked at it critically. "Yes, it's certainly +well done. In spite of the frame--I wouldn't give ten +cents for the frame--the effect is fine. We most find a +good light for that. Oh, now we come to the oil-paintings. +We both presumed you would do well at the oil-paintings; +and for my part," continued Mr. Bell definitely, "I like +them best. There's more variety in them." He was holding +at arm's-length, as he spoke, an oblong scrap of filmy +blue sky and marshy green fields in a preposterously +wide, flat, dull gold frame, and looking at it in a +puzzled way. Presently he reversed it and looked again. + +"No, papa," Elfrida said, "you had it right side up +before." She was biting her lip, and struggling with a +desire to pile them all back into the box and shut the +lid and stamp on it. + +"That's exquisite!" murmured Mrs. Bell, when Mr. Bell +had righted it again. + +"It's one of the worst," said Elfrida briefly. Mr. Bell +looked relieved. "Since that's your own opinion, Elfrida," +he said, "I don't mind saying that I don't care much +about it either. It looks as if you'd got tired of it +before you finished it." + +"Does it?" Elfrida said. + +"Now this is a much better thing, in my opinion," her +father went on, standing the picture of an old woman +behind an apple-stall along the wall with the rest "I +don't pretend to be a judge, but I know what I like, and +I like that. It explains itself." + +"It's a lovely bit of color," remarked Mrs. Bell. + +Elfrida smiled. "Thank you, mamma," she said, and kissed +her. + +When the box was exhausted, Mr. Bell walked up and down +for a few minutes in front of the row against the wall, +with his hands in his pockets, reflecting, while Mrs. +Bell discovered new beauties to the author of them. + +"We'll hang this lot in the dining-room," he said at +length, "and those black-and-whites with the oak mountings +in the parlor. They'll go best with the wall-paper there." + +"Yes, papa." + +"And I hope you won't mind, Elfrida," he added, "but I've +promised that they shall have one of your paintings to +raffle off in the bazar for the alterations in the +Sunday-school next week." + +"Oh no, papa. I shall be delighted." + +Elfrida was sitting beside her mother on the sofa, and +at the dose of this proposition Mr. Bell came and sat +there too. There was a silence for a moment while they +all three confronted the line of pictures leaning against +the wall Then Elfrida began to laugh, and she went on +laughing, to the astonishment of her parents, until the +tears came into her eyes. She stopped as suddenly, kissed +her mother and father, and went upstairs. "I'm afraid +you've hurt Her feelings, Leslie," said Mrs. Bell, when +she had well gone. + +But Elfrida's feelings had not been hurt, though one +might say that the evening left her sense of humor rather +sore. At that moment she was dallying with the temptation +to describe the whole scene in a letter to a valued friend +in Philadelphia, who would have appreciated it with mirth. +In the end she did not write. It would have been too +humiliating. + + + + +CHAPTER III. + +"_Pas mal, parbleu!_" Lucien remarked, with pursed-out +lips, running his fingers through his shock of coarse +hair, and reflectively scratching the top of his big head +as he stepped closer to Nadie Palicsky's elbow, where +she stood at her easel in his crowded atelier. The girl +turned and looked keenly into his face, seeking his eyes, +which were on her work with a considering, interested +look. Satisfied, she sent a glance of joyous triumph at +a somewhat older woman, whose place was next, and who +was listening with the amiable effacement of countenance +that is sometimes a more or less successful disguise for +chagrin. On this occasion it seemed to fail, for +Mademoiselle Palicsky turned her attention to Lucien and +her work again with a slight raising of the eyebrows and +a slighter sigh. Her face assumed a gentle melancholy, +as if she were pained at the exhibition of a weakness of +her sex; yet it was unnecessary to be an acute observer +to read there the hope that Lucien's significant phrase +had not by any chance escaped her neighbor. + +"The drawing of the neck," Lucien went on, "is excellently +brutal." Nadie wished he would speak a little louder, +but Lucien always arranged the carrying power of his +voice according to the susceptibilities of the atelier. +He thrust his hands into his pockets and still stood +beside her, looking at her study of the nude model who +posed upon a table in the midst of the students. "In you, +mademoiselle," he added in a tone yet lower, "I find the +woman and the artist divorced. That is a vast advantage--an +immense source of power. I am growing more certain of +you; you are not merely cleverly eccentric as I thought. +You have a great deal that no one can teach you. You have +finished that--I wish to take it downstairs to show the +men. It will not be jeered at, I promise you." + +"_Cher maitre!_ You mean it?" + +"But certainly!" + +The girl handed him the study with a look of almost +doglike gratitude in her narrow gray eyes. Lucien had +never said so much to her before, though the whole atelier +had noticed how often he had been coming to her easel +lately, and had disparaged her in corners accordingly. +She looked at the tiny silver watch she wore in a leather +strap on her left wrist--he had spent nearly five minutes +with her this time, watching her work and talking to her, +in itself a triumph. It was almost four o'clock, and the +winter daylight was going; presently they would all stop +work. Partly for the pleasure of being chaffed and envied +and complimented in the anteroom in the general washing +of brushes, and partly to watch Lucien's rapid progress +among the remaining easels, Mademoiselle Palicsky +deliberately sat down, in a prematurely vacant chair, +slung one slender little limb over the other, and waited. +As she sat there a generous thought rose above her +exultation. She hoped everybody else in the atelier had +guessed what Lucien was saying to her all that while, +and had seen him carry off her day's work, but not the +little American. The little American, who was at least +thirteen inches taller than Mademoiselle Palicsky, was +sufficiently discouraged already, and it was pathetic, +in view of almost a year of failure, to see how she clung +to her ghost of a talent Besides, the little American +admired Nadie Palicsky, her friend, her comrade, quite +enough already. + +Elfrida had heard, nevertheless. She listened eagerly, +tensely, as she always did when Lucien opened his lips +in her neighborhood. When she saw him take the sketch to +show in the men's atelier downstairs, to exhibit to that +horde of animals below, whose studies and sketches and +compositions were so constantly brought up for the stimulus +and instruction of Lucien's women students, she grew +suddenly so white that the girl who worked next her, a +straw-colored Swede, asked her if she were ill, and +offered her a little green bottle of salts of lavender. +"It's that beast of a calorifere," the Swede said, nodding +at the hideous black cylinder that stood near them, +"they will always make it too hot." + +Elfrida waved the salts back hastily--Lucien was coming +her way. She worked seated, and as he seemed on the point +of passing with merely a casual glance and an ambiguous +"H'm!" she started up. The movement effectually arrested +him, unintentional though it seemed. He frowned slightly, +thrusting his hands deep into his coat-pockets, and looked +again. + +"We must find a better place for you, mademoiselle; you +can make nothing of it here so close to the model, and +below him thus." He would have gone on, but in spite of +his intention to avert his eyes he caught the girl's +glance, and something infinitely appealing in it stayed +him again. "Mademoiselle," he said, with visible irritation, +"there is nothing to say that I have not said many times +already. Your drawing is still ladylike, your color is +still pretty, and, _sapristi!_ you have worked with me +a year! Still," he added, recollecting himself--Lucien +never lost a student by over-candor--"considering your +difficult place the shoulders are not so bad. _Continuez_, +mademoiselle." + +The girl's eyes were fastened immovably upon her work as +she sat down again, painting rapidly in an ineffectual, +meaningless way, with the merest touch of color in her +brush. Her face glowed with the deepest shame that had +ever visited her. Lucien was scolding the Swede roundly; +she had disappointed him, he said. Elfrida felt heavily +how impossible it was that _she_ should disappoint him. +And they had all heard--the English girl in the South +Kensington gown, the rich New Yorker, Nadie's rival the +Roumanian, Nadie herself; and they were all, except the +last, working more vigorously for hearing. Nadie had +turned her head away, and so far as the back of a neck +and the tips of two ears could express oblivion of what +had passed, it might have been gathered from hers. But +Elfrida knew better, and she resented the pity of the +pretence more than if she had met Mademoiselle Palicsky's +long light gray eyes full of derisive laughter. + +For a year she had been in it and of it, that intoxicating +life of the Quartier Latin: so much in it that she had +gladly forgotten any former one; so much of it that it +had become treason to believe existence supportable under +any other conditions. It was her pride that she had felt +everything from the beginning; her instinctive apprehension +of all that is to be apprehended in the passionate, +fantastic, vivid life on the left side of the Seine had +been a conscious joy from the day she had taken her tiny +appartement in the Rue Porte Royale, and bought her colors +and sketching-block from a dwarf-like little dealer in +the next street, who assured her proudly that he supplied +Henner and Dagnan-Bouveret, and moreover knew precisely +what she wanted from experience. "_Moi aussi, mademoiselle, +je suis artist!_" She had learned nothing, she had absorbed +everything. It seemed to her that she had entered into +her inheritance, and that in the possessions that throng +the Quartier Latin she was born to be rich. In thinking +this she had an Overpowering realization of the poverty +of Sparta, so convincing that she found it unnecessary +to tell herself that she would never go back there. That +was the unconscious pivotal supposition in everything +she thought or said or did. After the first bewildering +day or two when the exquisite thrill of Paris captured +her indefinitely, she felt the full tide of her life turn +and flow steadily in a new direction with a delight of +revelation and an ecstasy of promise that made nothing +in its sweep of every emotion that had not its birth and +growth in art, and forbade the mere consideration of +anything that might be an obstacle, as if it were a sin. +She entered her new world with proud recognition of its +unwritten laws, its unsanctified morale, its riotous +overflowing ideals; and she was instant in gathering that +to see, to comprehend these was to be thrice blessed, as +not to see, not to comprehend them was to dwell in outer +darkness with the bourgeois, and the "sandpaper" artists, +and others who are without hope. It gave her moments of +pure delight to reflect how little "the people" suspected +the reality of the existence of such a world notwithstanding +all they read and all they professed, and how absolutely +exclusive it was in the very nature of nature; how it +had its own language untranslatable, its own creed +unbelievable, its own customs unfathomable by outsiders, +and yet among the true-born how divinely simple recognition +was. Her allegiance had the loyalty of every fibre of +her being; her scorn of the world she had left was too +honest to permit any posing in that regard. The life at +Sparta assumed the colors and very much the significance +depicted on a bit of faded tapestry; when she thought of +it, it was to groan that so many of her young impressionable +years had been wasted there. She hoarded her years, now +that every day and every hour was suffused with its +individual pleasure or interest, or that keen artistic +pain which also had its value, as a sensation, in the +Quartier Latin. It distressed her to think that she was +almost twenty-one. + +The interminable year that intervened between Elfrida's +return from Philadelphia and her triumph in the matter +of being allowed to go to Paris to study, she had devoted +mainly to the society of the Swiss governess in the Sparta +Seminary for young ladies--Methodist Episcopal--with the +successful object of getting a working knowledge of +French. There had been a certain amount of "young society" +too, and one or two incipient love-affairs, watched with +anxious interest by her father and with a harrowed +conscience by her mother, who knew Elfrida's capacity +for amusing herself; and unlimited opportunities had +occurred for the tacit exhibition of her superiority to +Sparta, of which she had not always taken advantage. But +the significance of the year gathered into the French +lessons; it was by virtue of these that the time had a +place in her memory. Mademoiselle Joubert supplemented +her instruction with a violent affection, a great deal +of her society, and the most entertainingly modern of +the French novels, which Brentano sent her monthly in +enticing packets, her single indulgence. So that after +the first confusion of a multitude of tongues in the +irrelevant Parisian key Elfrida found herself reasonably +fluent and fairly at ease. The illumined jargon of the +atelier staid with her naturally; she never forgot a word +or a phrase, and in two months she was babbling and +mocking with the rest. + +She lived alone; she learned readily to do it on eighty +francs a month, and her appartement became charming in +three weeks. She divined what she should have there, and +she managed to get extraordinary bargains in mystery and +history out of the dealers in such things, so cracked +and so rusty, so moth-eaten and of such excellent color, +that the escape of the combined effect from _banalite_ +was a marvel. She had a short, sharp struggle with her +American taste for simple elegance in dress, and overthrew +it, aiming, with some success, at originality instead. +She found it easy in Paris to invest her striking +personality in a distinctive costume, sufficiently becoming +and sufficiently odd, of which a broad soft felt hat, +which made a delightful brigand of her, and a Hungarian +cloak formed important features. The Hungarian cloak +suited her so extremely well that artistic considerations +compelled her to wear it occasionally, I fear, when other +people would have found it uncomfortably warm. In nothing +that she said or did or admired or condemned was there +any trace of the commonplace, except, perhaps, the desire +to avoid it; it had become her conviction that she owed +this to herself. She was thoroughly popular in the atelier, +her _petits soupers_ were so good, her enthusiasms so +generous, her drawing so bad. The other pupils declared +that she had a head _divinement tragique_, and for those +of them she liked she sometimes posed, filling impressive +parts in their weekly compositions. They all knew the +little appartement in the Rue Porte Royale, more or less +well according to the favor with which they were received. +Nadie Palicsky perhaps knew it best--Nadie Palicsky and +her friend Monsieur Andre Vambery, who always accompanied +her when, she came to Elfrida's in the evening, finding +it impossible to allow her to be out alone at night, +which Nadie confessed agreeable to her vanity, but a bore. + +Elfrida found it difficult in the beginning to admire +the friend. He was too small for dignity, and Nadie's +inspired comparison of his long black hair to "_serpents +noirs_" left her unimpressed. Moreover she thought she +detected about him a personal odor which was neither that +of sanctity nor any other abstraction. It took time and +conversation and some acquaintance with values as they +obtain at the Ecole des Beaux Arts, and the knowledge of +what it meant to be "selling," to lift Monsieur Vambery +to his proper place in her regard. After that she blushed +that he had ever held any other. But from the first +Elfrida had been conscious of a kind of pride in her +unshrinking acceptance of the situation. She and Nadie +had exchanged a pledge of some sort, when Mademoiselle +Palicsky bethought herself of the unconfessed fact. She +gave Elfrida a narrow look, and then leaned back in her +low chair and bent an imperturbable gaze upon the slender +spiral of blue smoke that rose from the end of her +cigarette. + +"It is necessary now that you should know, petite--nobody +else does, Lucien would be sure to make a fuss, but--I +have a lover, and we have decided about marriage that it +is ridiculous. It is a _brave ame_. You ought to know +him; but if it makes any difference--" + +Elfrida reflected afterward with satisfaction that she +had not even changed color, though she had found the +communication electric. It seemed to her that there had +been something dignified, noble almost, in the answer +she had made, with a smile that acknowledged the fact +that the world had scruples on such accounts as these: + +"_Cela m'est absolument egal!_" + +So far as the life went it was perfect. The Quartier +spoke and her soul answered it, and the world had nothing +to compare with a conversation like that. But the question +of production, of achievement, was beginning to bring +her moments when she had a terrible sensation that the +temperature of her passion was chilled. She had not yet +seen despair, but she had now and then lost her hold of +herself, and she had made acquaintance with fear. There +had been no vivid realization of failure, but a problem +was beginning to form in her mind, and with it a distinct +terror of the solution, which sometimes found a shape in +her dreams. In waking, voluntary moments she would see +her problem only as an unanswerable enigma. + +Yet in the beginning she had felt a splendid confidence. +Her appropriation of theory had been so brilliant and so +rapid, her instructive appreciation had helped itself +out so well with the casual formulas of the schools, she +seemed to herself to have an absolute understanding of +expression. She held her social place among the others +by her power of perception, and that, with the completeness +of her repudiation of the bourgeois, had given her Nadie +Palicsky, whom the rest found difficult, variable, +unreasonable. Elfrida was certain that if she might only +talk to Lucien she could persuade him of a great deal +about her talent that escaped him--she was sore it escaped +him--in the mere examination of her work. It chafed her +always that her personality could not touch the master; +that she must day after day be only the dumb, submissive +pupil. She felt sometimes that there were things she +might say to Lucien which would be interesting and valuable +for him to hear. + +Lucien was always non-committal for the first few months. +Everybody said so, and it was natural enough. Elfrida +set her teeth against his silences, his casual looks and +ambiguous encouragements for a length of time which did +infinite credit to her determination. She felt herself +capable of an eternity of pain; she was proudly conscious +of a willingness to oppose herself to innumerable +discouragements--to back her talent, as it were, against +all odds. That was historic, dignified, to be expected! +But in the inmost privacy of her soul she had conceived +the character of the obstacles she was prepared to face, +and the list resolutely excluded any idea that it might +not be worth while. Indifference and contempt cut at the +very roots of her pledges to herself. As she sat listening +on this afternoon to the vivid terms of Lucien's disapproval +of what the Swede had done, she had a sharp consciousness +of this severance. + +She had nothing to say to any one in the general babble +of the anteroom, and nobody notified her white face and +resolute eyes particularly--the Americans were always +so pale and so _exalte_. Nadie kept away from her. +Elfrida had to cross the room and bring her, with a little +touch of angry assertion upon the arm, from the middle +of the group she had drawn around her, on purpose, as +her friend knew. + +"I want you to dine with me--really _dine_," she said, +and her voice was both eager and repressed. "We win go +to Babaudin's--one gets an excellent haricot there--and +you shall have that little white cheese that you love. +Come! I want you particularly. I will even make him +bring champagne--anything." + +Nadie gave her a quick look and made a little theatrical +gesture of delight. + +"_Quell bonheur!_" she cried for the benefit of the +others; and then in a lower tone: "But not Babaudins, +petite. Andre will not permit Babaudin's; he says it is +not _convenable_," and she threw up her eyes with mock +resignation. "Say Papaud's. They keep their feet off the +table at Papaud's--there are fewer of those _betes des +Anglais_." + +"Papaud's is cheaper," Elfrida returned darkly. "The +few Englishmen who dine at Babaudin's behave perfectly +well. I will not be insulted about the cost. I'll be +answerable to Andre. You don't lie as a general thing, +and why now? I can afford it, truly. You need not be +distressed." + +Mademoiselle Palicsky looked into the girl's tense face +for an instant, and laughed a gay assent. But to herself +she said, as she finished drying her brushes on an +inconceivably dirty bit of cotton: "She has found herself +out, she has come to the truth. She has discovered that +it is not in her, and she is coming to me for corroboration. +Well, I will not give it, me! It is extremely disagreeable, +and I have not the courage. _Pourquoi donc!_ I will send +her to Monsieur John Kendal; she may make him responsible. +He will break her, but he will not lie to her; they +sacrifice all to their consciences, those English! And +now, you good-natured fool, you are in for a devil of an +evening!" + + + + +CHAPTER IV. + +"Three months more," Elfrida Bell said to herself next +morning, in the act of boiling an egg over a tiny kerosene +stove in the cupboard that served her as a kitchen, "and +I will put it to every test I know. Three unflinching +months! John Kendal will not have gone back to England +by that time. I shall still get his opinion. If he is +only as encouraging as Nadie was last night, dear thing! +I almost forgave her for being so much, much cleverer +than I am. Oh, letters!" as a heavy knock repeated itself +upon the door of the room outside. + +There was only one; it was thrust beneath the door, +showing a white triangle to her expectancy as she ran +out to secure it, while the fourth flight creaked under +Madame Vamousin descending. She picked it up with a light +heart--she was young and she had slept. Yesterday's strain +had passed; she was ready to count yesterday's experience +among the things that must be met. Nadie had been so +sensible about it. This was a letter from home, and the +American mail was not due until next day. Inside there +would be news of a little pleasure trip to New York, +which her father and mother had been planning lately +--Elfrida constantly urged upon her parents the necessity +of amusing themselves--and a remittance. The remittance +would be more than usually welcome, for she was a little +in debt--a mere trifle, fifty or sixty francs; but Elfrida +hated being in debt. She tore the end of the envelope +across with absolute satisfaction, which was only half +chilled when she opened out each of the four closely +written sheets of foreign letter-paper in turn and saw +that the usual postal order was not there. + +Having ascertained this however, she went back to her +egg; in another ten seconds it would have been hard-boiled, +a thing she detested. There was the, egg, and there was +some apricot-jam--the egg in a slender-stemmed Arabian +silver cup, the jam golden in a little round dish of +wonderful old blue. She set it forth, with the milk-bread +and the butter and the coffee, on a bit of much mended +damask with a pattern of rosebuds and a coronet in one +corner. Her breakfast gave her several sorts of pleasure. + +Half an hour after it was over she was still sitting with +the letter in her lap. It is possible to imagine that +she looked ugly. Her dark eyes had a look of persistence +in spite of fear, a line or two shot up from between her +brows, her lips were pursed a little and drawn down at +the corners, her chin thrust forward. Her face and her +attitude helped each other to express the distinctest +possible negative. Her neck had an obstinate bend; she +leaned forward clasping her knees, for the moment a +creature of rigid straight lines. She had hardly moved +since she read the letter. + +She was sorry to learn that her father had been unfortunate +in business, that the Illinois Indubitable Insurance +Company had failed. At his age the blow would be severe, +and the prospect, after a life of comparative luxury, of +subsisting even in Sparta on eight hundred dollars a year +could not be an inviting one for either of her parents. +When she thought of their giving up the white brick house +in Columbia Avenue and going to live in Cox Street, +Elfrida was thoroughly grieved. She felt the sincerest +gratitude, however, that the misfortune had not come +sooner, before she had learned the true significance of +living, while yet it might have placed her in a state of +blind irresolution which would probably have lasted +indefinitely. After a year in Paris she was able to make +up her mind, and this she could not congratulate herself +upon sufficiently, since a decision at the moment was of +such vital importance! For one point upon which Mrs. +Leslie's letter insisted, regretfully but strongly, was +that the next remittance, which they hoped to be able to +send in a week or two, would necessarily be the last. It +would be as large as they could make it; at all events +it would amply cover her passage and railway expenses to +Sparta, and of course she would sail as soon as it reached +her. It was an elaborate letter, written in phrases which +Mrs. Leslie thought she evolved, but probably remembered +from a long and comprehensive course of fiction as +appropriate to the occasion, and Elfrida read between +the lines with some impatience how largely their trouble +was softened to her mother by the consideration that it +would inevitably bring her back to them. "We can bear it +well if we bear it together," wrote Mrs. Bell. "You have +always been our brave daughter, and your young courage +will be invaluable to us now. Your talents will be our +flowers by the way-side. We shall take the keenest possible +delight in watching them expand, as, even under the cloud +of financial adversity, we know they will." + +"Dear over-confident parent," Elfrida reflected grimly +at this point, "I must yet prove that I have any." + +Along with the situation she studied elaborately the +third page of the _Sparta Sentinel_. When it had arrived, +months before, containing the best part of a long letter +describing Paris, which she had written to her mother in +the first freshness of her delighted impressions, she +had glanced over it with half-amused annoyance at the +foolish parental pride that suggested printing it. She +was already too remote from the life of Sparta to care +very much one way or another, but such feeling as she +had was of that sort. And the compliments from the +minister, from various members of the Browning Club, from +the editor himself, that filtered through her mother's +letters during the next two or three weeks, made her +shrug with their absolute irrelevance to the only praise +that could thrill her and the only purpose she held dear. +Even now, when the printed lines contained the significance +of a possible resource, she did not give so much as a +thought to the flattering opinion of Sparta as her mother +had conveyed it to her. She read them over and over, +relying desperately on her own critical sense and her +knowledge of what the Paris correspondent of the _Daily +Dial_ thought of her chances in that direction. He, Frank +Parke, had told her once that if her brush failed she +had only to try her pen, though he made use of no such +commonplace as that. He said it, too, at the end of half +an hour's talk with her, only half an hour. Elfrida, +when she wished to be exact with her vanity, told herself +that it could not have been more than twenty-five minutes. +She wished for particular reasons to be exact with it +now, and she did not fail to give proper weight to the +fact that Frank Parke had never seen her before that day. +The Paris correspondent of the _Daily Dial_ was well +enough known to be of the _monde_, and rich enough to be +as bourgeois as anybody. Therefore some of the people +who knew him thought it odd that at his age this gentleman +should prefer the indelicacies of the Quartier to those +of "tout Paris," and the bad vermouth and cheap cigars +of the Rue Luxembourg to the peculiarly excellent quality +of champagne with which the president's wife made her +social atonement to the Faubourg St. Germain. But it was +so, and its being so rendered Frank Parke's opinion that +Miss Bell could write if she chose to try, not only +supremely valuable to her, but available for the second +time if necessary, which was perhaps more important. + +There would be a little more money from Sparta, perhaps +one hundred and fifty dollars. It would come in a week, +and after that there would be none. But a supply of it, +however modest, must be arranged somehow--there were the +"frais" of the atelier, to speak of nothing else. The +necessity was irritatingly absolute. Elfrida wished that +her scruples were not so acute about arranging it by +writing for the press. "If I could think for a moment +that I had any right to it as a means of expression!" +she reflected. "But I haven't. It is an art for others. +And it _is_ an art, as sacred as mine. I have no business +to degrade it to my uses." Her mental position when she +went to see Frank Parke was a cynical compromise with +her artistic conscience, of which she nevertheless +sincerely regretted the necessity. + +The correspondent of the _Daily Dial_ had a club for one +side of the river and a cafe for the other. He dined +oftenest at the cafe, and Elfrida's card, with "urgent" +inscribed in pencil on it, was brought to him that evening +as he was finishing his coffee. She had no difficulty +in getting it taken in. Mr. Parke's theory was that a +newspaper man gained more than he lost by accessibility. +He came out immediately, furtively returning a toothpick +to his waistcoat pocket--a bald, stout gentleman of middle +age, dressed in loose gray clothes, with shrewd eyes, a +nose which his benevolence just saved from being hawk-like, +a bristling white mustache, and a pink double chin. It +rather pleased Frank Parke, who was born in Hammersmith, +to be so constantly taken for an American--presumably a +New Yorker. + +"Monsieur--" began Elfrida a little formally. She would +not have gone on in French, but it was her way to use +this form with the men she knew in Paris, irrespective +of their nationality, just as she invariably addressed +letters which were to be delivered in Sparta, Illinois, +"a madame Leslie Bell, Avenue Columbia," of that +municipality. + +"Miss Elfrida, I am delighted to see you," he interrupted +her, stretching out one hand and looking at his watch +with the other. "I am fortunate in having fifteen whole +minutes to put at your disposal At the end of that time +I have an appointment with a cabinet minister, who would +rather see the devil. So I most be punctual. Shall we +walk a bit along these dear boulevards, or shall I get +a fiacre? No? You're quite right--Paris was made for +eternal walking. Now, what is it, my dear child?" + +Mr. Parke had already concluded that it was money, and +had fixed the amount he would lend. It was just half of +what Mademoiselle Knike, of Paolo Rossi's, had succeeded +in extracting from him last week. He liked having a +reputation for amiability among the ateliers, but he must +not let it cost too much. + +Elfrida felt none of that benumbing shame which sometimes +seizes those who would try literature confessing to those +who have succeeded in it, and the occasion was too +important for the decorative diffidence that might have +occurred to her if it had been trivial. She had herself +well gathered together, and she would have been concise +and direct even if there had been more than fifteen +minutes. + +"One afternoon last September, at Nadie Palicsky's--there +is no chance that you will remember, but I assure you it +is so--you told me that I might, if I tried--write, +monsieur." + +The concentration of her purpose in her voice made itself +felt where Frank Parke kept his acuter perceptions, and +put them at her service. + +"I remember perfectly," he said. + +"_Je m'en felicite_. It is more than I expected. Well, +circumstances have made it so that I must either write +or scrub. Scrubbing spoils one's hands, and besides, it +isn't sufficiently remunerative. So I have come to ask +you whether you seriously thought so, or whether it was +only politeness--_blague_--or what? I know it is horrible +of me to insist like, this, but you see I must." Her big +dark eyed looked at him without a shadow of appeal, rather +as if he were destiny and she were unafraid. + +"Oh, I meant it," he returned ponderingly. "You can often +tell by the way people talk that they would write well. +But there are many things to be considered, you know." + +"Oh, I know--whether one has any real right to write, +anything to say that makes it worth while. I'm afraid +I can't find that I have. But there must be scullery-maid's +work in literature--in journalism, isn't there? I could +do that, I thought. After all, it's only one's own art +that one need keep sacred." She added the last sentence +a little defiantly. + +Bat the correspondent of the _Daily Dial_ was not thinking +of that aspect of the matter. "It's not a thing you can +jump into," he said shortly. "Have you written anything, +anywhere, for the press before?" + +"Only one or two things that have appeared in the local +paper at home. They were more or less admired by the +people there, so far as that goes." + +"Were you paid for them?" + +Elfrida shook her head. "I've often heard the editor say +he paid for nothing but his telegrams," she said. + +"There it is, you see." + +"I want to write for _Raffini's Chronicle_," Elfrida said +quickly. "You know the editor of _Raffini_, of course, +Mr. Parke. You know everybody. Will you do me the very +great favor to tell him that I will report society +functions for him at one half the price he is accustomed +to pay for such writing, and do it more entertainingly?" + +Frank Parke smiled. "You are courageous indeed, Hiss +Elfrida. That is done by a woman who is invited, every +where in her proper person, and knows 'tout Paris' like +her alphabet I believe she holds stock in _Raffini_; +anyway, they would double her pay rather than lose her. +You would have more chance of ousting their leader-writer." + +"I should be sorry to oust anybody," Elfrida returned +with dignity. + +"How do you propose to help it, if you go in for doing +better or cheaper what somebody else has been doing +before?" + +Miss Bell thought for a minute, and demonstrated her +irresponsibility with a little shrug. "Then I'm very +sorry," she said. "But, monsieur, you haven't told me +what to do." + +The illuminator of European politics for the _Daily Dial_ +wished heartily that it had been a matter of two or three +hundred francs. + +"I'm afraid I--well, I don't see how I _can_ give you +any very definite advice. The situation doesn't admit of +it, Miss Bell. But--have you given up Lucien?" + +"No. It is only that--that I must earn money to pay him." + +"Oh! Home supplies stopped?" + +"My people have lost all their money except barely enough +to live on. I cant expect another sou." + +"That's hard lines!" + +"I'm awfully sorry for them. But it isn't enough, being +sorry, you know. I must do something. I thought I might +write for _Raffini_, for--for practice, you know--the +articles they print are really very bad--and afterward +arrange to send Paris letters to some of the big American +newspapers. I know a woman who does it I assure you she +is quite stupid. And she is paid--but enormously!" Mr. +Parke repressed his inclination to smile. + +"I believe that sort of thing over there is very much in +the hands of the syndicates--McClure and those fellows," +he said, "and they won't look at you unless you're known. +I don't want to discourage you, Miss Bell, but it would +take you at least a year to form a connection. You would +have to learn Paris about five times as well as you fancy +you know it already, and then you would require a special +course of training to find out what to write about. And +then, remember, you would have to compete with people +who know every inch of the ground. Now if I can be of +any assistance to you _en camarade_, you know, in the +matter of your passage home--" + +"Thanks," Elfrida interposed quickly, "I'm not going +home. If I can't write I can scrub, as I said. I must +find out." She put out her hand. "I am sure there are +not many of those fifteen minutes left," she said, smiling +and quite undismayed. "I have to thank you very sincerely +for--for sticking to the opinion you expressed when it +was only a matter of theory. As soon as I justify it in +practice I'll let you know." + +The correspondent of the _Daily Dial_ hesitated, looked +at his watch and hesitated again. "There's plenty of +time," he fibbed, frowning over the problem of what might +be done. + +"Oh no!" Elfrida said. "You are very kind, but there +can't be. You will be very late, and perhaps his Excellency +will have given the audience to the devil instead--or to +Monsieur de Pommitz." Her eyes expressed perfect +indifference. Frank Parke laughed outright. De Pommitz +was his rival for every political development, and shone +dangerously in the telegraphic columns of the London +_World_. + +"De Pommitz isn't in it this time," he said. "I'll tell +you what I _might_ do, Miss Elfrida. How long have you +got for this--experiment?" + +"Less than a week." + +"Well, go home and write me an article--something locally +descriptive. Make it as bright as you can, and take a +familiar subject. Let me have it in three days, and I'll +see if I can get it into _Raffini_ for you. Of course, +you know, I can't promise that they'll look at it." + +"You are very good," Elfrida returned hastily, seeing +his real anxiety to be off. "Something locally descriptive. +I've often thought the atelier would make a good subject." + +"Capital, capital! Only be very careful about personalities +and so forth. _Raffini_ hates giving offence. Good-bye! +Here you, _cocher!_ Boulevard Haussmann!" + + + + +CHAPTER V. + +John Kendal had only one theory that was not received +with respect by the men at Lucien's. They quoted it as +often as other things he said, but always in a spirit of +derision, while Kendal's ideas as a rule got themselves +discussed seriously, now and then furiously. This young +man had been working in the atelier for three years with +marked success almost from the beginning. The first things +he did had a character and an importance that brought +Lucien himself to admit a degree of soundness in the +young fellow's earlier training, which was equal to great +praise. Since then he had found the line in the most +interesting room in the Palais d'Industrie, the _cours_ +had twice medalled him, and Albert Wolff was beginning +to talk about his _coloration delicieuse_. Also it was +known that he had condescended for none of these things. +His success in Paris added piquancy to his preposterous +notion that an Englishman should go home and paint England +and hang his work in the Academy, and made it even more +unreasonable than if he had failed. + +"For me," remarked Andre Vambery, with a finely curled +lip, "I never see an English landscape without thinking +of what it would bring _par hectare_. It is _trop +arrangee_, that country, all laid out in a pattern of +hedges and clumps, for the pleasure of the milords. And +every milord has the taste of every other milord. He will +go home to perpetuate that!" + +"_Si, si! Mais c'est pour sa patrie._" + +Nadie defended him. Women always did. + +"Bah!" returned her lover. "_Pour nous autres artists la +France est la patrie, et la France seule!_ Every day he +is in England he will lose--lose--lose. Enfin, he will +paint the portraits of the wives and daughters of Sir +Brown and Sir Smith, and he will do it as Sir Brown and +Sir Smith advise. _Avec son talent unique, distinctive! +Oh, je suis a bout de patience!_" + +When Kendal's opinion materialized and it became known +that he meant to go back in February, and would send +nothing to the Salon that year, the studio tore its hair +and hugged its content. All but the master, who attempted +to dissuade his pupil with literal tears, of which he +did not seem in the least ashamed and which annoyed Kendal +very much. In fact, it was a dramatic splash of Lucien's +which happened to fall upon his coat-sleeve that decided +Kendal finally about the impossibility of living always +in Paris. He could not take life seriously where the +emotions lent themselves so easily. And Kendal thought +that he ought to take life seriously, because his natural +tendency was otherwise. Kendal was an Englishman with a +temperament which multiplied his individuality. If his +father, who was once in the Indian Staff Corps, had lived, +Kendal would probably have gone into the Indian Staff +Corps too. And if his mother, who was of clerical stock, +had not died about the same time, it is more than likely +that she would have persuaded him to the bar. With his +parents the obligation to be anything in particular seemed +to Kendal to have been removed, however, and he followed +his inclination in the matter instead, which made him an +artist. He would have found life too interesting to +confine his observation of it within the scope of any +profession, but of course he could have chosen none which +presents it with greater fascination. To speak quite +baldly about him, his intelligence and his sympathies +had a wider range than is represented by any one power +of expression, even the catholic brush. He had the +analytical turn of the age, though it had been denied +him to demonstrate what he saw except through an art +which is synthetic. With a more comprehensive conception +of modern tendencies and a subtler descriptive vocabulary, +Kendal might have divided his allegiance between Lucien +and the magazines, and ended a light-handed fiction-maker +of the more refined order of realists. As it was, he made +his studies for his own pleasure, and if the people he +met ministered to him further than they knew, nothing +came of it more than that. What he liked best to achieve +was an intimate knowledge of his fellow-beings from an +outside point of view. Where intimate knowledge came of +intimate association he found that it usually compromised +his independence of criticism, which in the Quartier +Latin was a serious matter. So he rather cold-bloodedly +aimed at keeping his own personality independent of his +observation of other people's, and as a rule he succeeded. + +That Paris had neither made Kendal nor marred him may be +gathered for the first part from his contentment to go +back to paint in his native land, for the second from +the fact that he had a relation with Elfrida Bell which +at no point verged toward the sentimental. He would have +found it difficult to explain in which direction it did +verge--in fact, he would have been very much surprised +to know that he sustained any relation at all toward Miss +Bell important enough to repay examination. The red-armed, +white-capped proprietress of a _cremerie_ had effected +their introduction by regretting to them jointly that +she had only one helping of _compote de cerises_ left, +and leaving them to arrange its consumption between them. +And it is safer than it would be in most similar cases +to say that neither Elfrida's heavy-lidded beauty nor +the smile that gave its instant attraction to Kendal's +delicately eager face had much to do with the establishment +of their acquaintance, such as it was. Kendal, though +his virtue was not of the heroic order, would have turned +a contemptuous heel upon any imputation of the sort, and +Elfrida would have stared it calmly out of countenance. + +To Elfrida it soon became a definite and agreeable fact +that she and the flower of Lucien's had things to say to +each other--things of the rare temperamental sort that +say themselves seldom. Within a fortnight she had made +a niche for him in that private place where she kept the +images of those toward whom she sustained this peculiarly +sacred obligation, and to meet him had become one of +those pleasures which were in Sparta so notably +unattainable. I cannot say that considerations which from +the temperamental point of view might be described as +ulterior had never suggested themselves to Miss Bell. +She had thought of them, with a little smile, as a possible +development on Kendal's part that might be amusing. And +then she had invariably checked the smile, and told +herself that she would be sorry, very sorry. Instinctively +she separated the artist and the man. For the artist she +had an admiration none the less sincere for its +exaggerations, and a sympathy which she thought the best +of herself; for the man, nothing, except the +half-contemptuous reflection that he was probably as +other men. + +If Elfrida stamped herself less importantly upon the +surface of Kendal's mind than he did upon hers, it may +be easily enough accounted for by the multiplicity of +images there before her. I do not mean to imply that all +or many of these were feminine, but, as I have indicated, +Kendal was more occupied with impressions of all sorts +than is the habit of his fellow-countrymen, and at twenty +eight he had managed to receive quite enough to make a +certain seriousness necessary in a fresh one. There was +no seriousness in his impression of Elfrida. If he had +gone so far as to trace its lines he would have found +them to indicate a more than slightly fantastic young +woman with an appreciation of certain artistic verities +out of all proportion to her power to attain them. But +he had not gone so far. His encounters with her were +among his casual amusements; and if the result was an +occasional dinner together or first night at the Folies +Dramatiques, his only reflection was that a girl who +could do such things and not feel compromised was rather +pleasant to know, especially so clever a girl as Elfrida +Bell. He did not recognize in his own mind the mingled +beginnings of approval and disapproval which end in a +personal theory. He was quite unaware, for instance, that +he liked the contemptuous way in which she held at arm's +length the moral laxities of the Quartier, and disliked +the cool cynicism with which she flashed upon them there +the sort of _jeu de mot_ that did not make him uncomfortable +on the lips of a Frenchwoman. He understood that she had +nursed Nadie Palicsky through three weeks of diphtheria, +during which time Monsieur Vambery took up his residence +fourteen blocks away, without any special throb of +enthusiasm; and he heard her quote Voltaire on the +miracles--some of her ironies were a little old-fashioned +--without conscious disgust He was willing enough to meet +her on the special plane she constituted for herself--not +as a woman, but as an artist and a Bohemian. But there +were others who made the same claim with whom it was an +affectation or a pretence, and Kendal granted it to +Elfrida without any special conviction that she was more +sincere than the rest. Besides, it is possible to grow +indifferent, even to the unconventionalities, and Kendal +had been three years in the Quartier Latin. + + + + +CHAPTER VI + +If Lucien had examined Miss Bell's work during the week +of her experiment with Anglo-Parisian journalism, he +would have observed that it grew gradually worse as the +days went on. The devotion of the small hours to composition +does not steady one's hand for the reproduction of the +human muscles, or inform one's eye as to the correct +manipulation of flesh tints. Besides, the model suffered +from Elfrida an unconscious diminution of enthusiasm. +She was finding her first serious attempt at writing more +absorbing than she would have believed possible, and she +felt that she was doing it better than she expected. She +was hardly aware of the moments that slipped by while +she dabbled aimlessly in unconsidered color meditating +a phrase, or leaned back and let nothing interfere with +her apprehension of the atelier with the other reproductive +instinct. She did not recognize the deterioration in her +work, either; and at the very moment when Nadie Palicsky, +observing Lucien's neglect of her, inwardly called him +a brute, Elfrida was to leave the atelier an hour earlier +for the sake of the more urgent thing which she had to +do. She finished it in five days, and addressed it to +Frank Parke with a new and uplifting sense of +accomplishment. The ever fresh miracle happened to her, +too, in that the working out of one article begot the +possibilities of half a dozen more, and the next day saw +her well into another. In posting the first she had a +premonition of success. She saw it as it would infallibly +appear in a conspicuous place in _Raffini's Chronicle_, +and heard the people of the American Colony wondering +who in the world could have written it. She conceived +that it would fill about two columns and a half. On +Saturday afternoon, when Kendal joined her crossing the +courtyard of the atelier, she was preoccupied with the +form of her rebuff to any inquiries that might be made +as to whether she had written it. + +They walked on together, talking casually of casual +things. Kendal, glancing every now and then at the wet +study Elfrida was carrying home, felt himself distinctly +thankful that she did not ask his opinion of it, as she +had, to his embarrassment once or twice before; though +it was so very bad that he was half disposed to abuse it +without permission. Miss Bell seemed persistently +interested in other things, however--the theatres, the +ecclesiastical bill before the Chamber of Deputies, the +new ambassador, even the recent improvement of the police +system. Kendal found her almost tiresome. His +half-interested replies interpreted themselves to her +after a while, and she turned their talk upon trivialities, +with a gay exhilaration which was not her frequent mood. + +She asked him to come up when they arrived, with a frank +cordiality which he probably thought of as the American +way. He went up, at all events, and for the twentieth +time admired the dainty chic of the little apartment, +telling himself, also for the twentieth time, that it +was extraordinary how agreeable it was to be there +--agreeable with a distinctly local agreeableness whether +its owner happened to be also there or not. In this he +was altogether sincere, and only properly discriminating. +He spent fifteen minutes wondering at her whimsical +interest, and when she suddenly asked him if he really +thought the race _had_ outgrown its physical conditions, +he got up to go, declaring it was too bad, she must have +been working up back numbers of the _Nineteenth Century_. +At which she consented to turn their talk into its usual +personal channel, and he sat down again content. + +"Doesn't the Princess Bobaloff write a charming hand!" +Elfrida said presently, tossing him a square white +envelope. + +"It isn't hers if it's an invitation. She has a wretched +relation of a Frenchwoman living with her who does all +that. May I light a cigarette?" + +"You know you may. It is an invitation, but I didn't +accept." + +"Her soiree last night? If I'd known you had been asked +I should have missed you." + +"I ought to tell you," Elfrida went on, coloring a little, +"that I was invited through Leila Van Camp--that +ridiculously rich girl, you know, they say Lucien is in +love with. The Van Camp has been affecting me a good deal +lately. She says my manners are so pleasing, and besides, +Lucien once told her she painted better than I did. The +princess is a great friend of hers." + +"Why didn't you go?" Kendal asked, without any appreciable +show of curiosity. If he had been looking closely enough +he would have seen that she was waiting for his question. + +"Oh, it lies somehow, that sort of thing, outside my idea +of life. I have nothing to say to it, and it has nothing +to say to me." + +Kendal smiled introspectively. He saw why he had been +shown the letter. "And yet," he said, "I venture to hope +that if we had met there we might have had some little +conversation." + +Elfrida leaned back in her chair and threw up her head, +locking her slender fingers over her knee. "Of coarse," +she said indifferently. "I understand why you should go. +You must. You have arrived at a point where the public +claims a share of your personality. That's different." + +Kendal's face straightened out. He was too much of an +Englishman to understand that a personally agreeable +truth might not be flattery, and Elfrida never knew how +far he resented her candor when it took the liberty of +being gracious. + +"I went in the humble hope of getting a good supper and +seeing some interesting people," he told her. "Loti was +there, and Madame Rives-Chanler, and Sargent." + +"And the supper?" Miss Bell inquired, with a touch of +sarcasm. + +"Disappointing," he returned seriously. "I should say +bad--as bad as possible." She gave him an impatient +glance. + +"But those people--Loti and the rest--it is only a +serio-comic game to them to go the Princess Bobaloffs. +They wouldn't if they could help it They don't live their +real lives in such places--among such people!" + +Kendal took the cigarette from his mouth and laughed. +"Your Bohemianism is quite Arcadian in its quality +--deliriously fresh," he declared. "I think they do. +Genius clings to respectability after a time. A most +worthy and amiable lady, the Princess." + +Elfrida raised the arch of her eyebrows. "Much too worthy +and amiable," she ventured, and talked of something else, +leaving Kendal rasped, as she sometimes did, without +being in any degree aware of it. + +"How preposterous it is," he said, moved by his irritation +to find something preposterous, "that girls like Miss +Van Camp should come here to work." + +"They can't help being rich. It shows at least the germ +of a desire to work out their own salvation. I think I +like it." + +"It shows the germ of an affectation in rather an advanced +stage of development. I give her three months more to +tire of snubbing Lucien and distributing caramels to the +less fortunate young ladies of the studio. Then she will +pack up those pitiful attempts of hers and take them home +to New York, and spend a whole season in glorious apology +for them." + +Elfrida looked at him steadily for an instant. Then she +laughed lightly. "Thanks," she said. "I see you had not +forgotten my telling you that Lucien said she painted +better than I did." + +Kendal wondered whether he had really meant to go so far. "I +am sorry," he said, "but I am afraid I had not forgotten it." + +"Well, you would not say it out of ill-nature. You must +have wanted me to know--what you thought." + +"I think," he said seriously, "that I did--at least that +I do--want you to know. It seems a pity that you should +work on here--mistakenly--when there are other things +that you could do well." + +"'Other things' have been mentioned to me before," she +returned, with a strain in her voice that she tried to +banish. "May I ask what particular thing occurs to you?" + +He was already remorseful. After all, what business of +his was it to interfere, especially when he knew that +she attached such absurd importance to his opinion? "I +hardly know," he said, "but there must be something; I +am convinced that there is something." + +Elfrida put her elbows on a tittle table, and shadowed +her face with her hands. + +"I wish I could understand," she said, "why I should be +so willing to--to go on at any sacrifice, if there is no +hope in the end." + +Kendal's mood of grim frankness overcame him again. "I +believe I know," he said, watching her. Her hands dropped +from her face, and she turned it toward him mutely. + +"It is not achievement you want, but success. That is +why," said he. + +There was silence for a moment, broken by light footsteps +on the stair and a knock. "My good friends," cried +Mademoiselle Palicsky from the doorway, "have you been +quarrelling?" She made a little dramatic gesture to match +her words, which brought out every line of a black velvet +and white corduroy dress, which would have been a horror +upon an Englishwoman. Upon Mademoiselle Palicsky it was +simply an admiration-point of the kind never seen out of +Paris, and its effect was instantaneous. Kendal +acknowledged it with a bow of exaggerated deference. +"_C'est parfait!_" he said with humility, and lifted a +pile of studies off the nearest chair for her. + +Nadie stood still, pouting. "Monsieur is amused," she +said. "Monsieur is always amused. But I have that to tell +which monsieur will graciously take _au grand servieux_." + +"What is it, Nadie?" Elfrida asked, with something like +dread in her voice. Nadie's air was so important, so +rejoiceful. + +"_Ecoutez donc!_ I am to send two pictures to the Salon +this year. Carolos Duran has already seen my sketch for +one, and he says there is not a doubt--_not a doubt_--that +it will be considered. Your congratulations, both of you, +or your hearts' blood! For on my word of honor I did +not expect it this year." + +"A thousand and one!" cried Kendal, trying not to see +Elfrida's face. "But if you did not expect it this year, +mademoiselle, you were the only one who had so little +knowledge of affairs," he added gaily. + +"And now," Nadie went on, as if he had interrupted her, +"I am going to drive in the Bois to see what it will be +like when the people in the best carriages turn and say, +'That is Mademoiselle Nadie Palicsky, whose picture has +just been bought for the Luxembourg.'" + +She paused and looked for a curious instant at Elfrida, +and then slipped quickly behind her chair. "_Embrasse +moi, cherie!_" she said, bringing her face with a bird-like +motion close to the other girl's. + +Kendal saw an instinctive momentary aversion in the +backward start of Elfrida's head, and from the bottom of +his heart he was sorry for her. She pushed her friend +away almost violently. + +"No!" she said. "No! I am sorry, but it is too childish. +We never kiss each other, you and I. And listen, Nadie: +I am delighted for you, but I have a sick headache--_la +migraine_, you understand. And you must go away, both of +you--both of you!" Her voice raised itself in the last +few words to an almost hysterical imperativeness. As they +went down the stairs together Mademoiselle Palicsky +remarked to Mr. John Kendal, repentant of the good that +he had done: + +"So she has consulted her oracle and it has barked out +the truth. Let us hope she will not throw herself into +the Seine!" + +"Oh no!" Kendal replied. "She's horribly hurt but I am +glad to believe that she hasn't the capacity for tragedy. +Somebody," he added gloomily, "ought to have told her +long ago." + +Half an hour later the postman brought Elfrida a letter +from Mr. Frank Parke, and a packet containing her +manuscript. It was a long letter, very kind, and +appreciative of the article, which Mr. Parke called +bright and gossipy, and, if anything, too cleverly +unconventional in tone. He did not take the trouble to +criticise it seriously, and left Elfrida under the +impression that, from his point of view at least, it had +no faults. Mr. Parke had offered the article to _Raffini_, +but while they might have printed it upon his +recommendation, it appeared that even his recommendation +could not induce them to promise to pay for it. And it +was a theory with him that what was worth printing was +invariably worth paying for, so he returned the manuscript +to its author in the sincere hope that it might yet meet +its deserts. He had been thinking over the talk they had +had together, and he saw more plainly than ever the +hopelessness of her getting a journalistic start in Paris, +however, and he would distinctly advise her to try London +instead. There were a number of ladies' papers published +in London--he regretted that he did not know the editors +of any of them--and amongst them, with her freshness of +style, she would be sure to find an opening. Mr. Parke +added the address of a lodging-house off Fleet Street, +where Elfrida would be in the thick of it, and the fact +that he was leaving Paris for three months or so, and +hoped she would write to him when he came back. It was +a letter precisely calculated to draw an unsophisticated +amateur mind away from any other mortification, to pour +balm upon any unrelated wound. Elfrida felt herself armed +by it to face a sea of troubles. Not absolutely, but +almost, she convinced herself on the spot that her solemn +choice of an art had been immature, and to some extent +groundless and unwarrantable; and she washed all her +brushes with a mechanical and melancholy sense that it +was for the last time. It was easier than she would have +dreamed for her to decide to take Frank Parke's advice +and go to London. The life of the Quartier had already +vaguely lost in charm since she knew that she must be +irredeemably a failure in the atelier, though she told +herself, with a hot tear or two, that no one loved it +better, more comprehendingly, than she did. Her impulse +was to begin packing at once; but she put that off until +the next day, and wrote two or three letters instead. +One was to John Kendal. This is the whole of it: + + "Please believe me very grateful for your frankness + this afternoon. I have been most curiously blind. But + I agree with you that there is something else, and I + am going away to find it out and to do it. When I + succeed I will let you know, but you shall not tell + me that I have failed again. + + "ELFRIDA BELL." + +The other was addressed to her mother, and when it reached +Mr. and Mrs. Bell in Sparta they said it was certainly +sympathetic and very well written. This was to disarm +one another's mind of the suspicion that its last page +was doubtfully daughterly. + + "In view of what are now your very limited resources, + I am sure dear mother, you will understand my + unwillingness to make any additional drain upon them, + as I should do if I followed your wishes and came + home. I am convinced of my ability to support myself, + and I am not coming home. To avoid giving you the pain + of repeating your request, and the possibility of your + sending me money which you cannot afford to spare, I + have decided not to let you know my whereabouts until + I can write to you that I am in an independent position. + I will only say that I am leaving Paris, and that no + letters sent to this address will be forwarded. I + sincerely hope you will not allow yourself to be in + any way anxious about me, for I assure you that there + is not the slightest need. With much love to papa and + yourself, + + "Always your affectionate daughter, + + "ELFRIDA. + + "P.S.--I hope your asthma has again succumbed + to Dr. Paley." + + + + +CHAPTER VII. + +There was a scraping and a stumbling sound in the second +floor front bedroom of Mrs. Jordan's lodgings in a by-way +of Fleet Street, at two o'clock in the morning. It came +up to Elfrida mixed with the rattle of a departing cab +over the paving-stones below, outside where the fog was +lifting and showing one street-lamp to another. Elfrida +in her attic had been sitting above the fog all night; +her single candle had not been obscured by it. The cab +had been paid and the andirons were being disturbed by +Mr. Golightly Ticke, returned from the Criterion Restaurant, +where he had been supping with the leading lady of the +Sparkle Company, at the leading, lady's expense. She +could afford it better than he could, she told him, and +that was extremely true, for Mr. Ticke had his capacities +for light comedy still largely to prove, while Mademoiselle +Phyllis Fane had almost disestablished herself upon the +stage, so long and so prosperously had she pirouetted +there. Mr. Golightly Ticke's case excited a degree of +the large compassion which Mademoiselle Phyllis had for +incipient genius of the interesting sex, and which served +her instead of virtue of the more ordinary sort. He had +a doable claim upon it, because, in addition to being +tall and fair and misunderstood by most people, with a +thin nose that went beautifully with a medieval costume, +he was such a gentleman. Phyllis loosened her purse-strings +instinctively, with genuine gratification, whenever this +young man approached. She believed in him; he had ideas, +she said, and she gave him more; in the end he would be +sure to "catch on." Through the invariable period of +obscurity which comes before the appearance of any star, +she was in the habit of stating that he would have no +truer friend than Filly Fane. She "spoke to" the manager, +she pointed out Mr. Ticke's little parts to the more +intimate of her friends of the press. She sent him delicate +little presents of expensive cigars, scents, and soaps; +she told him often that he would infallibly "get there." +The fact of his having paid his own cab-fare from the +Criterion on this particular morning gave him, as he +found his way upstairs, almost an injured feeling of +independence. + +As the sounds defined themselves move distinctly, troublous +and uncertain, Elfrida laid down her pen and listened. + +"What an absurd boy it is!" she said. "He's trying to go +to bed in the fireplace." + +As a matter of fact, Mr. Ticke's stage of intoxication +was not nearly so advanced as that; but Elfrida's mood +was borrowed from her article, and she felt the necessity +of putting it graphically. Besides, a picturesque form +of stating his condition was almost due to Mr. Ticke. +Mr. Ticke lived the unfettered life; he was of the elect; +Elfrida reflected, as Mr. Ticke went impulsively to bed, +how easy it was to discover the elect. A glance would do +it, a word, the turning of an eyelid; she knew it of +Golightly Ticke days before he came up in an old velvet +coat, and without a shirt collar, to borrow a sheet of +note paper and an envelope from her. On that occasion +Mr. Ticke had half apologized for his appearance, saying, +"I'm afraid I'm rather a Bohemian," in his sympathetic +voice. To which Elfrida had responded, hanging him the +note paper, "Afraid!" and the understanding was established +at once. Elfrida did not consider Mr. Ticke's other +qualifications or disqualifications; that would have been +a bourgeois thing to do. He was a _belle dame_, that was +sufficient. He might find life difficult, it was natural +and probable. She, Elfrida Bell, found it difficult. He +had not succeeded yet; neither had she; therefore they +had a comradeship--they and a few others--of revolt +against the dull conventional British public that barred +the way to success. Yesterday she had met him at the +street-door, and he had stopped to remark that along the +Embankment nature was making a bad copy of one of +Vereschagin's pictures. When people could say things like +that, nothing else mattered much. It is impossible to +tell whether Miss Bell would have found room in this +philosophy for the godmotherly benevolence of Mademoiselle +Fane, if she had known of it, or not. + +It was a long, low-roofed room in which Elfrida Bell +meditated, biting the end of her pen, upon the difference +it made when a fellow-being was not a Philistine; and it +was not in the least like any other apartment Mrs. Jordan +had to let. It was the atelier of the Rue Porte Royale +transported. Elfrida had brought all her possessions with +her, and took a nameless comfort in arranging them as +she liked them best. "Try to feel at home," she said +whimsically to her Indian zither as she hung it up. "We +shall miss Paris, you and I, but one day we shall go back +together." A Japanese screen wandered across the room +and made a bedroom of the end. Elfrida had to buy that, +and spent a day in finding a cheap one which did not +offend her. The floor was bare except for a little Afghan +prayer-carpet, Mrs. Jordan having removed, in suspicions +astonishment, an almost new tapestry of as nice a pattern +as she ever set eyes on, at her lodger's request. A +samovar stood on a little square table in the corner, +and beside it a tin box of biscuits. The dormer-windows +were hung with Eastern stuffs, a Roman lamp stood on the +mantel, a Koran-holder held Omar Khayyam second-hand, +and Meredith's last novel, and "Anna Karenina," and +"Salammbo," and two or three recent numbers of the +_Figaro_. Here and there on the wall a Salon photograph +was fastened. A study of a girl's head that Nadie had +given her was stuck with a Spanish dagger over the +fireplace. A sketch of Vambety's and one of Kendal's, +sacredly framed, hung where she could always see them. +There was a vague suggestion of roses about the room, +and a mingled fragrance of joss-sticks and cigarettes. +The candle shone principally upon a little bronze Buddha, +who sat lotus-shrined on the writing-table among Elfrida's +papers, with an ineffable, inscrutable smile. On the top +shelf of a closet in the wall a small pile of canvases +gathered dust, face downward. Not a brush-mark of her +own was visible. She told herself that she had done with +that. + +The girl sat with her long cloak about her and a blanket +over her knees. Her fingers were almost nerveless with +cold; as she laid down her manuscript she tried to wring +warmth into them. Her face was white, her eyes were +intensely wide open and wide awake; they had black dashes +underneath, an emphasis they did not need. She lay back +in her chair and gave the manuscript a little push toward +Buddha smiling in the middle of the table. "Well?" she +said, regarding him with defiant inquiry, cleverly mocked. + +Buddha smiled on. The candle spattered, and his shadow +danced on three or four long thick envelopes lying behind +him. Elrida's eyes followed it. + +"Oh!" said she, "you refer me to those, do you? _Ce n'est +pas poli_, Buddha dear, but you are always honest, aren't +you?" She picked op the envelopes and held them fanwise +before her. "Tell me, Buddha, why have they all been sent +back? I myself read them with interest, I who wrote them, +and surely that proves something!" She pulled a page or +two out of one of them, covered with her clear, conscious, +handwriting, a handwriting with a dainty pose in it +suggestive of inscrutable things behind the word. Elfrida +looked at it affectionately, her eyes caressed the lines +as she read them. "I find here true things and clever +things," she went on; "Yes, and original, _quite_ original +things. That about Balzac has never been said before--I +assure you, Buddha, it has never been said before! Yet +the editor of the _Athenian_ returns it to me in two days +with a printed form of thanks--exactly the same printed +form of thanks with which he would return a poem by +Arabella Jones! Is the editor of the _Athenian_ a dolt, +Buddha? The _Decade_ typewrites his regrets--that's +better--but the _Bystander_ says nothing at all but +'Declined with thanks' inside the flap of the envelope." +The girl stared absently into the candle. She was not in +reality greatly discouraged by these refusals: she knew +that they were to be expected: indeed, they formed part +of the picturesqueness of the situation in which she saw +herself, alone in London, making her own fight for life +as she found it worth living, by herself, for herself, +in herself. It had gone on for six weeks; she thought +she knew all its bitterness, and she saw nowhere the +faintest gleam of coming success; yet the idea of giving +it up did not even occur to her. At this moment she was +reflecting that after all it was something that her +articles had been returned--the editors had evidently +thought them worth that much trouble--she would send them +an off again in the morning, trying; the _Athenian_ +article with the _Decade_, and the rejected of the _Decade_ +with the _Bystander_: they would see that she did not +cringe before one failure or many. Gathering up the loose +pages of one article to put them back, her eyes ran +mechanically again over its opening sentences. Suddenly +something magnetized them, a new interest flashed into +them; with a little nervous movement she brought the page +closer to the candle and looked at it carefully. As she +looked she blushed crimson, and dropping the paper, +covered her face with her hands. + +"Oh, _Buddha!_" she cried softly, struggling with her +mortification, "no wonder they rejected it! There's a +mistake in the very second line--a mistake in _spelling!_" +She felt her face grow hotter as she said it, and +instinctively she lowered her voice. Her vanity was +pricked as with a sword; for a moment she suffered keenly. +Her fabric of hope underwent a horrible collapse; the +blow was at its very foundation. While the minute hand +of her mother's old-fashioned gold watch travelled to +its next point, or for nearly as long as that, Elfrida +was under the impression that a person who spelled +"artificially" with one _L_ could never succeed in +literature. She believed she had counted the possibilities +of failure. She had thought of style, she had thought of +sense--she had never thought of spelling! She began with +a penknife to make the word right, and almost fearfully +let herself read the first few fines. "There are no more!" +she said to herself, with a sigh of relief. Turning the +page, she read on, and the irritation began to fade out +of her face. She turned the next page and the next, and +her eyes grew interested, absorbed, enthusiastic. There +were some more, one or two, but she did not see them. +Her house of hope built itself again. "A mere slip," she +said, reassured; and then, as her eye fell on a little +fat dictionary that held down a pile of papers, "But I'll +go over them all in the morning, to make sore, with +_that_." + +Then she turned with new pleasure to the finished work +of the night, settled the sheets together, put them in +an envelope, and addressed it: + + _The Editor,_ + _The Consul,_ + _6 Tibby's Lane,_ + _Fleet Street, E. C._ + +She hesitated before she wrote. Should she write "The +Editor" only, or "George Alfred Curtis, Esq.," first, +which would attract his attention, perhaps, as coming +from somebody who knew his name. She had a right to know +his name, she told herself; she had met him once in the +happy Paris days. Kendal bad introduced him to her, in +a brief encounter at the Salon, and she remembered the +appreciativeness of the glance that accompanied the stout +middle-aged English gentleman's bow. Kendal had told +her then that Mr. Curtis was the editor of the _Consul_. +Yes, she had a right to know his name. And it might make +the faintest shadow of a difference--but no, "The Editor" +was more dignified, more impersonal; her article should +go in upon its own merits, absolutely upon its own merits; +and so she wrote. + +It was nearly three o'clock, and cold, shivering cold. +Mr. Golightly Ticke had wholly subsided. The fog had +climbed up to her, and the candle showed it clinging to +the corners of the room. The water in the samovar was +hissing. Elfrida warmed her hands upon the cylinder and +made herself some tea. With it she disposed of a great +many sweet biscuits from the biscuit box, and thereafter +lighted a cigarette. As she smoked she re-read an old +letter, a long letter in a flowing foreign hand, written +from among the haymakers at Barbizon, that exhaled a +delicate perfume. Elfrida had read it thrice for comfort +in the afternoon; now she tasted it, sipping here and +there with long enjoyment of its deliciousness. She kissed +it as she folded it up, with the silent thought that this +was the breath of her life, and soon--oh, passably +soon--she could bear the genius in Nadie's eyes again. + +Then she went to bed. "You little brute," she said to +Buddha, who still smiled as she blew out the candle, +"can't you forget it?" + + + + +CHAPTER VIII. + +Miss Bell arose late the next morning, which was not +unusual. Mrs. Jordan had knocked three times vainly, and +then left the young lady's chop and coffee outside the +door on the landing. If she _would_ 'ave it cold, Mrs. +Jordan reasoned, she would, and more warnin' than knockin' +three times no livin' bean could expect Mrs. Jordan went +downstairs uneasy in her mind, however. The matter of +Miss Bell's breakfast generally left her uneasy in her +mind. It was not in reason, Mrs. Jordan thought, that a +young littery lady should keep that close, for Elfrida's +custom of having her breakfast deposited outside her door +was as invariable as it was perplexing. Miss Bell was as +charming to her land-lady as she was to everybody else, +but Mrs. Jordan found a polite pleasantness that permitted +no opportunity for expansion whatever more stimulating +to the curiosity and irritating to the mind generally +than the worst of bad manners would have been. That was +the reason she knocked three times when she brought up +Miss Bell's breakfast. At Mr. Ticke's door she wrapped +once, and cursorily at that. Mr. Ticke was as conversational +as you please on all occasions, and besides, Mr. Ticke's +door was usually half open. The shroud of mystery in +which Mrs. Jordan wrapped her "third floor front" grew +more impenetrable as the days went by. Her original +theory, which established Elfrida as the heroine of the +latest notorious divorce case, was admirably ingenious, +but collapsed in a fortnight with its own weight. "Besides," +Mrs. Jordan reasoned, "if it 'ad been that person, ware +is the corrispondent all this time? There's been nothin' +in the shape of a corrispondent hangin' round _this_ +house, for I've kep' my eye open for one. I give 'er up," +said Mrs. Jordan darkly, "that's wot I do, an' I only +'ope I won't find 'er suicided on charcoal some mornin' +like that pore young poetiss in yesterday's paper." + +Another knock, half an hour later, found Elfrida finishing +her coffee. Out-of-doors the world was gray, the little +square windows were beaten with rain. Inside the dreariness +was redeemed to the extent of a breath, a suggestion. An +essence came out of the pictures and the trappings, and +blended itself with the lingering fragrance of the +joss-sticks and the roses and the cigarettes in a delightful +manner. The room was almost warm with it. It seemed to +centre in Elfrida; as she sat beside the writing-table, +whose tumultuous papers had been pushed away to make room +for the breakfast dishes, she was instinct with it. + +Miss Bell glanced hurriedly around the room. It was +unimpeachable--not so much as a strayed collar interfered +with its character as an apartment where a young lady +might receive. "Come in," she said. She knew the knock. + +The door opened slowly to a hesitating push, and disclosed +Mr. Golightly Ticke by degrees. Mr. Ticke was accustomed +to boudoirs less rigid in their exclusiveness, and always +handled Miss Bell's door with a certain amount of +embarrassment. If she wanted a chance to whisk anything +out of the way he would give her that chance. Fully in +view of the lady and the coffee-pot Mr. Ticke made a +stage bow. "Here is my apology," he said, holding out a +letter; "I found it in the box as I came in." + +It was another long thick envelope, and in its upper left +hand corner was printed, in early English lettering, _The +St. George's Gazette_. Elfrida took it with the faintest +perceptible change of countenance. It was another +discomfiture, but it did not prevent her from opening +her dark eyes with a remote effect of pathos entirely +disconnected with its reception. "And you climbed all +these flights to give it to me!" she said, with gravely +smiling plaintiveness. "Thank you. Why should you have +been so good? Please, please sit down." + +Mr. Ticke looked at her expressively. "I don't know, Miss +Bell, really. I don't usually take much trouble for +people. I say it without shame. Most people are not worth +it. You don't mind my saying that you're an exception, +though. Besides, I'm afraid I had my eye on my reward." + +"You're reward!" Elfrida repeated. Her smiling comprehension +insisted that it did not understand. + +"The pleasure of saying good-morning to you. But that +is an inanity, Miss Bell, and unworthy of me. I should +have left you to divine it." + +"How could I divine an inanity in connection with you?" +she answered, and her eyes underlined her words. When he +returned, "Oh, you always parry!" she felt a little thrill +of pleasure with herself. "How did it go--last night?" +she asked. + +"Altogether lovely. Standing room only, and the boxes +taken for a week. I find myself quite adorable in my +little part now. I _feel_ it, you know. I am James Jones, +a solicitor's clerk, to my fingers' ends. My nature +changes, my environment changes, the instant I go on. +But a little thing upsets me. Last night I had to smoke +a cigar--the swell of the piece gives me a cigar--and he +gave me a poor one. It wasn't in tone--the unities +required that he should give me a good cigar. See? I felt +quite confused for the moment." + +Elfrida's eyes had strayed to the corner of her letter. +"If you want to read that," continued Mr. Ticke, "I know +you won't mind me." + +"Thanks," said Elfrida calmly. "I've read it already. +It's a rejected article." + +"My play came back again yesterday for the thirteenth +time. The fellow didn't even look at it. I know, because +I stuck the second and third pages together as if by +accident, and when it came back they were still stuck. +And yet these men pretend to be on the lookout for original +work! It's a thrice beastly world, Miss Bell." + +Elfrida widened her eyes again and smiled with a vague +impersonal winningness. "I suppose one ought not to care," +said she, "but there is the vulgar necessity of living." + +"Yes," agreed Mr. Ticke; and then sardonically: "Waterloo +Bridge at ebb tide is such a nasty alternative. I could +never get over the idea of the drainage." + +"Oh, I know a better way than that." She chose her words +deliberately. "A much better way. I keep it here," holding +up the bent little finger of her left hand. It had a +clumsy silver ring on it, square and thick in the middle, +bearing deep-cut Sanskrit letters. "It is a dear little +alternative," she went on, "like a bit of brown sugar. +Rather a nice taste, I believe,--and no pain. When I am +quite tired of it all I shall use this, I think. My idea is +that it's weak to wait until you can't help it. Besides, I +could never bear to become--less attractive than I am now." + +"Poison!" said Mr. Golightly Ticke, with an involuntarily +horrified face. Elfrida's hand was hanging over the edge +of the table, and he made as if he would examine the ring +without the formality of asking leave. + +She drew her fingers away instantly. "In the vernacular," +she answered coolly. "You may not touch it." + +"I beg your pardon. But how awfully chic!" + +"It _is_ chic, isn't it? Not so very old, you know." +Elfrida raised her eyebrows and pursed her lips a little. +"It came from Persia. They still do things like that in +those delightful countries. And I've had it tested. +There's enough to--satisfy--three people. When you are +quite sure you want it I don't mind sharing with you. If +you are going out, Mr. Ticke, will you post this for me? +It's a thing about American social ideals, and I'm trying +the _Consul_ with it." + +"Delighted. But if I know the editor of the _Consul_, it +won't get two minutes' consideration." + +"No?" + +"Being the work of a lady, no. Doesn't matter how good +it is. The thing to know about the _Consul_ man is this. +He's very nice to ladies--can't resist ladies; consequence +is, the paper's half full of ladies' copy every week. I +know, because a cousin of mine writes for him, and most +unsympathetic stuff it is. Yet it always goes in, and +she gets her three guineas a week as regularly as the +day comes. But her pull is that she knows him personally, +and she's a damned pretty woman." + +Elfrida followed him with interest. "Is she as pretty as +I am?" she asked, purely for information. + +"Lord, no!" Mr. Ticke responded warmly. "Besides, you've +got style, and distinction, and ideas. Any editor would +appreciate your points, once you saw him. But you've got +to see him first. My candid advice is _take_ this to the +_Consul_ office." + +Elfrida looked at him in a way which baffled him to +understand. "I don't think I can do that," she said +slowly; and then added, "I don't know." + +"Well," he said, "I'll enter my protest against the +foolishness of doing it this way by refusing to post the +letter." Mr. Ticke was tremendously in earnest, and threw +it dramatically upon the table. "You may be a George +Eliot or a--an Elizabeth Barrett Browning, but in these +days you want every advantage, Miss Bell, and women who +succeed understand that." + +Elfrida's face was still enigmatic, so enigmatic that +Mr. Ticke felt reluctantly constrained to stop. "I must +pursue the even tenor of my way," he said airily, looking +at his watch. "I've an engagement to lunch at one. _Don't_ +ask me to post that article, Miss Bell. And by the way," +as he turned to go, "I haven't a smoke about me. Could +you give me a cigarette?" + +"Oh yes," said Elfrida, without looking at him, "as many +as you like," and she pushed an open box toward him; but +she had an absent, considering air that did not imply +any idea of what she was doing. + +"Thanks, only one. Or perhaps two--there now, two! How +good these little Hafiz fellows are! Thanks awfully. +Good-bye!" + +"Good-bye," said Elfrida, with her eyes on the packet +addressed to the editor of the _Consul_; and Mr. Golightly +Ticke tripped downstairs. She had not looked at him again. + +She sat thinking, thinking. She applied herself first to +stimulate the revolt that rose within her against Golightly +Ticke's advice--his intolerably, no, his forgetfully +presumptuous advice. She would be just to him: he talked +so often to women with whom such words would carry weight, +for an instant he might fail to recognize that she was +not one of those. It was absurd to be angry, and not at +all in accordance with any theory of life that operated +in Paris. Instinctively, at the thought of a moral +indignation upon such slender grounds in Paris she gave +herself the benefit of a thoroughly expressive Parisian +shrug. And how they understood, success in Paris! Beasts! + +And yet it was all in the game. It was a matter of skill, +of superiority, of puppet-playing. One need not soil +one's hands--in private one could always laugh. She +remembered how Nadie had laughed when three bunches of +roses from three different art critics had come in +together--how inextinguishably Nadie had laughed. It was +in itself a, success of a kind. Nadie had no scruples, +except about her work. She went straight to her end, +believing it to be an end worth arriving at by any means. +And now Nadie would presently be _tres en vue--tres en +vue!_ After all, it was a much finer thing to be scrupulous +about one's work--that was the real morality, the real +life. Elfrida closed her eyes and felt a little shudder +of consciousness of how real it was. When she opened +them again she was putting down her protest with a strong +hand, crushing her rebellious instincts unmercifully. +She did not allow herself a moment's self-deception. She +did not insult her intelligence by the argument that it +was a perfectly harmless and proper thing to offer a +piece of work to an editor in person--that everybody did +it--that she might thereby obtain some idea of what +would suit his paper if her article did not. She was +perfectly straightforward in confronting Golightly Ticke's +idea, and she even disrobed it, to her own consciousness, +of any garment of custom and conventionality it might +have had to his. Another woman might have taken it up +and followed it without an instant's hesitation, as a +matter concerning which there could be no doubt, a matter +of ordinary expediency--of course a man would be nicer +to a woman than to another man; they always were; it was +natural. But Elfrida, with her merciless insight, had to +harden her heart and ply her self-respect with assurances +that it was all in the game, and it was a superb thing +to be playing the game. Deliberately she chose the things +she looked best in, and went out. + + + + +CHAPTER IX. + +The weather had cleared to a compromise. The dome of St. +Paul's swelled dimly out of the fog as Elfrida turned +into Fleet Street, and the railway bridge that hangs over +the heads of the people at the bottom of Ludgate Hill +seemed a curiously solid structure connecting space with +space. Fleet Street, wet and brown, and standing in all +unremembered fashions, lifted its antiquated head and +waited for more rain; the pavements glistened briefly, +till the tracking heels of the crowd gave them back their +squalor; and there was everywhere that newness of turmoil +that seems to burst even in the turbulent streets of the +City when it stops raining. The girl made her way toward +Charing Cross with the westward-going crowd. It went with +a steady, respectable jog-trot, very careful of its skirts +and umbrellas and the bottoms of its trousers; she took +pleasure in hastening past it with her light gait. She +would walk to the _Consul_ office, which was in the +vicinity of the Haymarket; indeed, she must, for the sake +of economy. "I ought really to be _very_ careful," thought +Elfrida. "I've only eight sovereigns left, and I can't +--oh, I _can't_ ask them for any more at home." So she +went swiftly on, pausing once before a picture-dealer's +in the Strand to make a mocking mouth at the particularly +British quality of the art which formed the day's exhibit, +and once to glance at a news-stand where two women of +the street, one still young and pretty, the other old +and foul, were buying the _Police Gazette_ from a +stolid-faced boy. "What a subject for Nadie," she said +to herself, smiling, and hurried on. Twenty yards further +a carter's horse lay dying with its head upon the pavement. +She made an impulsive detour of nearly half a mile to +avoid passing the place, and her thoughts recurred +painfully to the animal half a dozen times. The rain +came down again before she reached the _Consul_ office; +a policeman misinformed her, she had a difficulty in +finding it. She arrived at last, with damp skirts and +muddy boots. It had been a long walk, and the article +upon American social ideals was limp and spotted. A door +confronted her, flush with the street. She opened it. +and found herself at the bottom of a flight of stairs, +steep, dark, and silent. She hesitated a moment, and then +went up. At the top another closed door met her, with +_The Consul_ painted in black letters on the part of it +that consisted of ground glass somewhat the worse for +pencil-points and finger-nails. Elfrida lifted her hand +to knock, then changed her mind and opened the door. + +It was a small room lined on two sides with deal +compartments bulging with dusty papers. There were two +or three shelves of uninteresting-looking books, and a +desk which extended into a counter. The upper panes of +the window were ragged with cobwebs, and the air of the +place was redolent of stale publications. A thick-set +little man in spectacles sat at the desk. It was not Mr. +Curtis. + +The thick-set man rose as Elfrida entered, and came +forward a dubious step or two. His expression was not +encouraging. + +"I have called to see the editor, Mr. Curtis," said she. + +"The editor is not here." + +"Oh, isn't he? I'm sorry for that. When is he likely to +be in? I want to see him particularly." + +"He only comes here once a week, for about an hour," +replied the little man, reluctant even to say so much. +"But I could see that he got a letter." + +"Thanks," returned Elfrida. "At what time and on what +day does he usually come?" + +"That I'm not at liberty to say," the occupant of the +desk replied briefly, and sat down again. + +"Where _is_ Mr. Curtis?" Elfrida asked. She had not +counted upon this. To the physical depression of her walk +there added itself a strong disgust with the unsuccessful +situation. She persisted, knowing what she would have to +suffer from herself if she failed. + +"Mr. Curtis is in the country. I cannot possibly give +you his address. You can write to him here, and the letter +will be forwarded. But he only sees people by +appointment--especially ladies," the little man added, +with a half-smile which had more significance in it than +Elfrida could bear. Her face set itself against the anger +that burned up in her, and she walked quickly from the +door to the desk, her wet skirts swishing with her steps. +She looked straight at the man, and began to speak in a +voice of constraint and authority. + +"You will be kind enough to get up," she said, "and listen +to what I have to say." The man got up instantly. + +"I came here," she went on, "to offer your editor an +article--this article;" she drew out the manuscript and +laid it before him. "I thought from the character of the +contributions to last week's number of the _Consul_ that +he might very well be glad of it." + +Her tone reduced the man to silence. Mechanically he +picked up the manuscript and fingered the leaves. + +"Read the first few sentences, please," said Elfrida. + +"I've nothing to do with that department, miss--" + +"I have no intention whatever of leaving it with you. +But I shall be obliged if you will read the first few +sentences." He read them, the girl standing watching him. + +"Now," said she, "do you understand?" She took the pages +from his hand and returned them to the envelope. + +"Yes, miss--it's certainly interesting, but--" + +"Be quite sure you understand," said Elfrida, as the +ground-glass door closed behind her. + +Before she reached the foot of the staircase she was in +a passion of tears. She leaned, against the wall in the +half darkness of the passage, shaking with sobs, raging +with anger and pity, struggling against her own contempt. +Gradually she gained a hold upon herself, and as she +dried her eyes finally she lost all feeling but a heavy +sense of failure. She sat down faintly on the lowest +step, remembering that she had eaten nothing since +breakfast, and fanned her flushed face with the sheets +of her manuscript. She preferred that even the unregarding +London streets should not see the traces of her distress. +She was still sitting there, ten minutes later, when the +door opened and threw the gray light from outside over +her. She had found her feet before Mr. Curtis had fairly +seen her. He paused, astonished, with his gloved hand +upon the knob. The girl seemed to have started out of +the shadows, and the emotion of her face dramatized its +beauty. She made a step toward the door. + +"Can I do anything for you?" asked the editor of the +_Consul_, taking off his, hat. + +"Nothing, thank you," Elfrida replied, looking beyond +him. "Unless you will kindly allow me to pass." + +It was still raining doggedly, as it does in the the late +afternoon. Elfrida thought with a superlative pang of +discomfort of the three or four blocks that lay between +her and the nearest bake-shop. She put up her umbrella, +gathered her skirts up behind, and started wearily for +the Haymarket. She had never in her life felt so tired. +Suddenly a thrill of consciousness went up from her left +hand--the hand that held her skirts--such a thrill as +is known only to the sex that wills to have its pocket +there. She made one or two convulsive confirmatory clutches +at it from the outside, then, with a throe of actual +despair, she thrust her hand into her pocket. It was a +crushing fact, her purse was gone--her purse that held +the possibilities of her journalistic future molten and +stamped in eight golden sovereigns--her purse! + +Elfrida cast one hopeless look at the pavement behind +her before she allowed herself to realize the situation. +Then she faced it, addressing a dainty French oath to +the necessity. "Come," she said to herself, "now it +begins to be really amusing--_la vraie comedie_." She +saw herself in the part--it was an artistic pleasure--alone, +in a city of melodrama, without a penny, only her brains. +Besides, the sense of extremity pushed and concentrated +her; she walked on with new energy and purpose. As she +turned into the Haymarket a cab drew up almost in front +of her. Through its rain-beaten glass front she recognized +a face--Kendal's. His head was thrown back to speak to +the driver through the roof. In the instant of her glance +Elfrida saw that he wore a bunch of violets in his +button-hole, and that he was looking splendidly well. +Then, with a smile that recognized the dramatic value of +his appearance at the moment, she lowered her umbrella +and passed on, unseen. + +Almost gaily she walked into a pawnbroker's shop, and +obtained with perfect nonchalance five pounds upon her +mother's watch. She had no idea that she ought to dispute +the dictum of the bald young man with the fishy eyes and +the high collar. It did not occur to her that she was +paid too little. What she realized was that she had wanted +to pawn something all her life--it was a deliciously +effective extremity. She reserved her rings with the +distinct purpose of having the experience again. Then +she made a substantial lunch at a rather expensive +restaurant. "It isn't time yet," she thought, "for crusts +and dripping," and tipped the waiter a shilling, telling +him to get her a cab. As she turned into the Strand she +told the cabman to drive slowly, and made him stop at +the first newspaper office she saw. As she alighted a +sense of her extravagance dawned upon her, and she paid +the man off. Then she made a resolutely charming ascent +to the editorial rooms of the _Illustrated Age_. + +Twenty minutes later she came down again, and the door +was opened for her by Mr. Arthur Rattray, one of the +sub-editors, a young man who had already distinguished +himself on the staff of the _Age_ by his intelligent +perception of paying matter, and his enterprise in securing +it. Elfrida continued to carry her opinions upon the +social ideals of her native democracy in their much +stained envelope, but there was a light in her eyes which +seemed to be the reflection of success. + +"It's still raining," said the young man cheerfully. + +"So it is," Elfrida responded. "And--oh, how atrocious +of me!--I've left my umbrella in the cab!" + +"Hard luck!" exclaimed Mr. Rattray; "an umbrella is an +organic part of one in London. Shall I stop this 'bus?" + +"Thanks, no. I'll walk, I think. It's only a little way. +I shan't get wet. Good-afternoon!" Elfrida nodded to him +brightly and hurried off; but it could not have occasioned +her surprise to find Mr. Rattray beside her a moment +later with a careful and attentive umbrella, and the +intention of being allowed to accompany her that little +way. By the time they arrived Mr. Rattray had pledged +himself to visit Scotland Yard next day in search of a +dark brown silk _en tout cas_ with a handle in the +similitude of an ivory mummy. + +"Are these your diggings?" he asked, as they reached the +house. "Why, Ticke lives here too--the gentle Golightly--do +you know him?" Elfrida acknowledged her acquaintance with +Mr. Ticke, and Mr. Rattray hastened to deprecate her +thanks for his escort. "Remember," he said, "no theories, +no fine writing, no compositions. Describe what you've +seen and know, and give it a tang, an individuality. +And so far as we are concerned, I think we could use that +thing you proposed about the Latin Quarter, with plenty +of anecdote, very well. But you must make it short." + + + + +CHAPTER X. + +Kendal mounted to Elfrida's _appartement_ in the Rue +Porte Royale to verify the intimation of her departure, +or happily to forestall its execution the morning after +her note reached him. He found it bare and dusty. A +workman was mending the stove; the concierge stood looking +on, with her arms folded above the most striking feature +of her personality. Every vestige of Elfrida was gone, +and the tall windows were open, letting the raw February +air blow through. Outside the sunlight lay in squares +and triangles on the roofs, and gave the place its +finishing touch of characterlessness. Yes, truly, +mademoiselle had gone, the evening before. Was monsieur +then not aware? The concierge was of opinion that +mademoiselle had had bad news, but her tone implied that +no news could be quite bad enough to justify the throwing +up of such desirable apartments upon such short notice. +Mademoiselle had left in such haste that she had forgotten +both to say where she was going and to leave an address +for letters; and it would not be easy to surpass the +consciousness of injury with which the concierge demanded +what she was to say to the _facteur_ on the day of the +post from America, when there were always four or five +letters for mademoiselle. Monsieur would be _bien amiable_, +if he would allow that they should be directed to him. +Upon reflection monsieur declined this responsibility. +With the faintest ripple of resentment at being left out +of Elfrida's confidence, he stated to himself that it +would be intrusive. He advised the concierge to keep them +for a week or two, during which Miss Bell would be sure +to remember to send for them, and turned to go. + +"_Mademoiselle est allee a la Gare du Nord_," added the +concierge, entirely aware that she was contributing a +fact to Kendal's mental speculation, and wishing it had +a greater intrinsic value. But Kendal merely raised his +eyebrows in polite acknowledgment of unimportant +information. "En effet!" he said, and went away. +Nevertheless he could not help reflecting that _Gare du +Nord_ probably meant Calais, and Calais doubtless meant +England, probably London. As he thought of it he assured +himself that it was London, and his irritation vanished +at the thought of the futility of Elfrida in London. It +gave him a half curious, half solicitous amusement instead. +He pictured her with her Hungarian peasant's cloak and +any one of her fantastic hats in the conventional highways +he knew so well, and smiled. "She will have to take +herself differently there," he reflected, without pausing +to consider exactly what he meant by it, "and she'll find +that a bore." As yet he himself had never taken her +differently so far as he was aware, and in spite of the +obvious provocation of her behavior it did not occur to +him to do it now. He reflected with a shade of satisfaction +that she knew his London address. When she saw quite fit +she would doubtless inform him as to what she was doing +and where she might be found. He smiled again at the +thought of the considerations which Elfrida would put +into the balance against the pleasure of seeing him. They +were not humiliating; he was content to swing high on +the other side indefinitely; but he admitted to himself +that she had taken a pleasure out of Paris for him, and +went back to his studio missing it. He went on missing +it for quite two days, at the end of which he received +an impetuous visit--excessively impetuous considering +the delay--from Nadie Palicsky. In its course Mademoiselle +Palicsky declared herself robbed and wronged by "_cette +incomprise d'Americaine_," whom she loved--but _loved_, +did he understand? No, it was not probable that he +understood--what did a man know of love? As much perhaps +as that flame--Kendal permitted himself the luxury of an +open fire. Nadie stared into it for a moment with cynical +eyes. Under the indirect influence of Kendal's regard +they softened. + +"She always understood. It was a joy to show her anything. +She interpreted Bastien Lepage better than I--indeed that +is true--but only with her soul, she had no hands. Yes, +I loved her, and she was good for me. I drew three breaths +in her presence for one in her absence. And she has taken +herself away; even in her letter--I had a line too--she +was as remote as a star! I hope," continued Nadie, with +innocent candor, as she swung her little feet on the +corner of Kendal's table, "that you do not love her too. +I say prayers to _le bon Dieu_, about it. I burn candles." + +"And why?" Kendal asked, with a vigorous twist of his +palette knife. + +"Because you are such a beast," she responded calmly, +watching his work with her round cleft chin in the shell +of her hand. "That's not bad, you know. That nearest girl +sitting on the grass is almost felt. But if you show it +to the English they will be so shocked that they will +use lorgnettes to hide their confusion. Ah!" she said, +jumping down, "here am I wasting myself upon you, with +a carriage _a l'heure!_ You are not worth it," and she +went. After that it seemed to Kendal that he did not miss +Elfrida so much. Certainly it never occurred to him to +hasten his departure by a day on her account, and there +came a morning when he drove through Bloomsbury and +realized that he had not thought about her for a fortnight. +The British Museum suggested her to him there--the British +Museum, and the certainty that within its massive walls +a number of unimaginative young women in collarless +sage-green gowns were copying casts of antique sculptures +at that moment. But he did not allow himself to suppose +that she could possibly be among them. + +He sniffed London all day with a home-returning satisfaction +in her solidity and her ugliness and her low-toned fogs +and her great throbbing unostentatious importance, which +the more flippant capital seemed to have intensified in +him. He ordered the most British luncheon he could think +of, and reflected upon the superiority of the beer. He +read the leaders in the _Standard_ through to the bitter +end, and congratulated himself and the newspaper that +there was no rag of an absurd _feuilleton_ to distract +his attention from the importance of the news of the day. +He remembered all sorts of acquaintances that Paris had +foamed over for months; his heart warmed to a certain +whimsical old couple who lived in Park Street and went +out to walk every morning after breakfast with their +poodle. He felt disposed to make a formal call upon them +and inquire after the poodle. It was--perhaps with an +unconscious desire to make rather more of the idyl of +his homecoming that he went to see the Cardiffs instead, +who were his very old friends, and lived in Kensington +Square. + +As he turned out of Kensington High Street into a shoppy +little thoroughfare, and through it to this quiet, +neglected high-nosed old locality, he realized with an +added satisfaction that he had come back to Thackeray's +London. One was apt, he reflected, with a charity which +he would not have allowed himself always, to undervalue +Thackeray in these days. After all, he once expressed +London so well that now London expressed him, and that +was something. + +Kendal found the Cardiffs--there were only two, Janet +and her father--at tea, and the Halifaxes there, four +people he could always count on to be glad to see him. +It was written candidly in Janet's face--she was a natural +creature--as she asked him how he dared to be so unexpected. +Lady Halifax cried out robustly from the sofa to know +how many pictures he had brought back; and Miss Halifax, +full of the timid enthusiasm of the well-brought-up +elderly English girl, gave him a sallow but agreeable +regard from under her ineffective black lace hat, and +said what a surprise it was. When they had all finished, +Lawrence Cardiff took his elbow off the mantelpiece, +changed his cup into his other hand to shake hands, and +said, with his quiet, clean-shaven smile, "So you're +back!" + +"Daddy has been hoping you would be here soon," said Miss +Cardiff. "He wants the support of your presence. He's +been daring to enumerate 'Our Minor Artists' in the _Brown +Quarterly_, and his position is perfectly terrible. +Already he's had forty-one letters from friends, relatives, +and picture-dealers suggesting names he has 'doubtless +forgotten.' Poor daddy says he never knew them." + +"Has he mentioned me?" asked Kendal, sitting down squarely +with his cup of tea. + +"He has not." + +"Then it's in the character of the uncomplaining left-over +that I'm wanted, the modest person who waits until he's +better. I refuse to act. I'll go over to the howling +majority." + +"_You_ will never be a minor artist, Mr. Kendal," ventured +Miss Halifax. + +"Certainly not. You will rise to greatness at a bound," +said Lady Halifax, with substantial conviction and an +illustrative wave of a fat well-gloved hand with a +doubled-up fragment of bread and butter between the thumb +and forefinger, "or we shall be much disappointed in +you." + +"It's rapidly becoming a delicate compliment to have been +left out," Mr. Cardiff remarked, with melancholy. + +"Some of those you've honored with your recognition are +the maddest of all, aren't they, daddy, as we say in +America! Dear old thing, you _are_ in a perilous case, +and who is to take you round at the Private Views this +year--that's the question of the hour! You needn't depend +upon me. There won't be a soul on the line that you +haven't either put in or left out!" + +"It was a fearful thing to write about," Kendal responded +comfortably. "He deserves all the consequences. Let him +go round alone." Under the surface of his thoughts was +a pleased recognition of how little a fresh-colored +English girl changes in three years. Looking at Miss +Halifax's hat, it occurred to him that it was an agreeable +thing not to be eternally "struck" by the apparel of +women--so forcibly that he almost said it. "What have +you been doing?" he asked Janet. + +"Wonders," Lady Halifax responded for her. "I can't +think where she gets the energy or the brains--" + +"Can't you?" her father interrupted. "Upon my word!" Mr. +Cardiff had the serious facial muscles of a comedian, +and the rigid discipline he was compelled to give them +as a professor of Oriental tongues of London University +intensified their effect when it was absurd. The rest +laughed, and his cousin went on to say that she wished +_she_ had the gift. Her daughter echoed her, looking at +Janet in a way that meant she would say it, whatever the +consequences might be. + +"I must see something," said Kendal, "immediately." + +"_See_ something!" exclaimed Lady Halifax. "Well, look +in the last number of the _London Magazine_. But you'll +please show something first." + +"Yes, indeed!" Miss Halifax echoed. + +"When will you be ready for inspection?" Mr. Cardiff +asked. + +"Come on Thursday, all of you. I'll show you what there +is." + +"Will you give us our tea?" Miss Halifax inquired, with +a nervous smile. + +"Of course. And there will be buns. You will do me the +invaluable service of representing the opinion of the +British public in advance. Will Thursday suit?" + +"Perfectly," Lady Halifax replied. "The old rooms in +Bryanston Street, I suppose?" + +"Thursday won't suit us," Janet put in decisively. "No, +papa; I've got people coming here to tea. Besides, Lady +Halifax is quite equal to representing the whole British +public by herself, aren't you, dear?" That excellent +woman nodded with a pretence of loftily consenting, and +her daughter gave Janet rather a suspicious glance. "Daddy +and I will come another day," Janet went on in reassuring +tones; "but we shall expect buns too, remember." + +Then they talked of the crocuses in Kensington Gardens; +and of young Skeene's new play at the Princess's--they +all knew young Skeene, and wished him well; and of +Framley's forthcoming novel--Framley, who had made his +noble reputation by portrait-painting--good old Framley +--how would it go? + +"He knows character," Kendal said. + +"That's nothing now," retorted Lawrence Cardiff. "Does +he know where it comes from and where it's going to? And +can he choose? And has he the touch? And hasn't he been +too long a Royal Academician and a member of the Church +of England, and a believer in himself? Oh no! Framley +hasn't anything to tell this generation that he couldn't +say best on canvas." + +"Well," said Lady Halifax disconcertingly, "I suppose +the carriage is at the door, Lawrence, but you might just +send to inquire. The horses stand so badly, I told Peters +he might take them round and round the square." + +Cardiff looked at her with amused reproach, and rang the +bell; and Janet begged somebody or anybody to have another +cup of tea. The Halifaxes always tried Janet. + +They went at last, entreating Cardiff, to his annoyance, +not to come down the narrow winding stair with them to +their carriage. To him no amount of familiar coming and +going could excuse the most trivial of such negligences. +He very often put Janet into her cab, always if it rained. + +The moment they left the room a new atmosphere created +itself there for the two that remained. They sought each +other's eyes with the pleasantest sense of being together +in reality for the first time, and though Janet marked +it by nothing more significant than a suggestion that +Kendal should poke the fire, there was an appreciable +admission in her tone that they were alone and free to +talk, which he recognized with great good-will. He poked +the fire, and she on her low chair, clasping her knee +with both hands, looked almost pretty in the blaze. There +had always been between them a distinct understanding, +the understanding of good-fellowship and ideas of work, +and Kendal saw with pleasure that it was going to be +renewed. + +"I am dying to tell you about it," he said. + +"Paris?" she asked, looking up at him. "I am dying to +hear. The people, especially the people. Lucien, what +was he like? One hears so much of Lucien--they make him +a priest and a king together. And did you go to Barbizon?" + +Another in her place might have added, "And why did you +write so seldom?" There was something that closed Janet's +lips to this. It was the same thing that would not permit +her to call Kendal "Jack," as several other people did, +though her Christian name had been allowed to him for a +long time. It made an awkwardness sometimes, for she +would not say "Mr. Kendal" either--that would be a rebuke +or a suggestion of inferiority, or what not--but she +bridged it over as best she could with a jocose appellative +like "signor," "monsieur," or "Mr. John Kendal," in full. +"Jack" was impossible, "John" was worse. Yes, with a +little nervous shudder, _much_ worse. + +He told her about Paris to her fascination; she had never +seen it: about the boulevards and the cafes and the men's +ateliers, and the vagrant pathos of student life there--he +had seen some clean bits of it--and to all of this old +story he gave such life as a word or a phrase can give. +Even his repressions were full of meaning, and the +best--she felt it was the best--he had to offer her he +offered in fewest words, letting her imagination riot +with them. He described Lucien and the American Colony. +He made her laugh abundantly over the American amateur +as Lucien managed him. They had no end of fun over these +interesting, ingenious, and prodigal people in their +relation to Parisian professional circles. He touched on +Nadie Palicsky lightly, and perhaps it was because Janet +insisted upon an accentuation of the lines--he had sent +her a photograph of one of Nadie's best things--that he +refrained from mentioning Elfrida altogether. Elfrida, +he thought, he would keep till another time. She would +need so much explanation; she was too interesting to lug +in now, it was getting late. Besides, Elfrida was an +exhausting subject, and he was rather done. + + + + +CHAPTER XI. + +Individually a large number of Royal Academicians +pronounced John Kendal's work impertinent, if not +insulting, meaningless, affected, or flippant. +Collectively, with a corporate opinion that might be +discussed but could not be identified, they received it +and hung it, smothering a distressful doubt, where it +would be least likely to excite either the censure of +the right-minded or the admiration of the unorthodox. +The Grosvenor gave him a discreet appreciation, and the +New received him with joy and thanksgiving. If he had +gone to any of the Private Views, which temptation he +firmly resisted, he would have heard the British public +--for after all the British public is always well +represented at a Private View--say discontentedly how +much better it would like his pictures if they were only +a little more finished. He might even have had the cruel +luck to hear one patron of the arts, who began by designing +the pictorial advertisements for his own furniture-polish, +state that he would buy that twilight effect with the +empty fields, if only the trees in the foreground weren't +so blurred. Other things, too, he might have heard that +would have amused him more as being less commonplace, +but pleased him no better, said by people who cast furtive +glances over their shoulders to see if anybody that might +be the artist was within reach of their discriminating +admiration; and here and there, if he had listened well, +a vigorous word that meant recognition and reward. It +was not that he did not long for the tritest word of +comment from the oracle before which he had chosen to +lay the fruit of his labors; indeed, he was so conscious +of his desire to know this opinion, not over clever as +he believed it, that he ran away on the evening of +varnishing-day. If he staid he felt that he would inevitably +compromise his dignity, so he hid himself with some +amiable people in Hampshire, who could be relied upon +not to worry him, for a week. He did not deny himself +the papers, however. They reached him in stacks, with +the damp chill of the afternoon post upon them; and in +their solid paragraphs he read the verdict of the British +public written out in words of proper length and much +the same phrases that had done duty for Eastlake and Sir +Martin Shee. Fortunately, the amiable people included +some very young people, so young that they could properly +compel Kendal to go into the fields with them and make +cowslip balls, and some robust girls of eighteen and +twenty, who mutely demanded the pleasure of beating him +at tennis every afternoon. He was able in this way to +work off the depression that visited him daily with the +damp odor of London art, criticism, quite independently +of its bias toward himself. He told himself that he had +been let off fairly easily, though he winced considerably +under the adulation of the _Daily Mercury_, and found +himself breathing most freely when least was said about +him. The day of his triumph in the _Mercury_ he made +monstrous cowslip balls, and thought that the world had +never been sufficiently congratulated upon possessing +the ideal simplicity of children. + +Thereafter for two days nothing came, and he began to +grow restless. Then the _Decade_ made its weekly slovenly +appearance, without a wrapper. He opened it with the +accumulated interest of forty-eight hours, turned to +"Fine Arts," and girded himself to receive the _Decade's_ +ideas. He read the first sentence twice--the article +opened curiously, for the _Decade_. He looked at the +cover to see whether he had not been mistaken. Then he +sat down beside the open window, where a fine rain came +in and smote upon the page, and read it through, straining +his eyes in the gathering darkness over the last paragraph. +After that he walked up and down the room among the +shadows for half an hour, not ringing for lights, because +the scented darkness of the garden, where the rain was +dripping, and the half outlines of the things in the room +were so much more grateful to his imagination as the +_Decade's_ critic had stimulated it with the young, +mocking, brilliant voice that spoke in the department of +"Fine Arts." It stirred him all through. In the pleasure +it gave him he refused to reflect how often it dismissed +with contempt where it should have considered with respect, +how it was sometimes inconsistent, sometimes exaggerated +and obscure. He was rapt in the delicacy and truth with +which the critic translated into words the recognizable +souls of a certain few pictures--it could not displease +him that they were very few, since three of his were +among them. When it spoke of these the voice was strong +and gentle, with an uplifted tenderness, and all the +suppressed suggestion that good pictures themselves have. +It made their quality felt in the lines, and it spoke +with a personal joy. + +"A new note!" Kendal thought aloud. "A voice crying in +the wilderness, by Jove! Wolff might have done it if it +had been in French, but Wolff would have been fairer and +more technical and less sympathetic." + +A fine energy crept all through him and burned at his +finger-ends. The desire to work seized him deliciously +with the thrill of being understood, a longing to accomplish +to the utmost of his limitations--he must reasonably +suppose his limitations. Sometimes they were close and +real; at this moment they were far off and vague, and +almost dissolved by the force of his joyous intention. +He threw himself mentally upon half-finished canvas that +stood against the wall in Bryanston Street, and spent +ten exalted minutes in finishing it. When it was done he +found it ravishing, and raged because he could not decently +leave for town before four o'clock next day. He worked +off the time before dinner by putting his things together, +and the amiable people had never found him so delightful +as he was that evening. After amusing one of the robust +young ladies for half an hour at prodigious cost, he +found himself comparing their conversation with the talk +he might have had in the time with Elfrida Bell, and a +fresh sense of injury visited him at having been +high-handedly debarred from that pleasure for so many +weeks. It staid with him and pricked him all the way to +town next day. He was a fool, he thought, to have missed +the chance of meeting her upon the opening days of the +London exhibitions; she was sure to have gone, if it were +only to scoff, and her scoffing would have been so amusing +to listen to. He thought gloomily of the impossibility +of finding her in London if she didn't wish to be found, +and he concluded that he really wanted to see her, that +he must see her soon--to show her that article. + +The desire had not passed from him three days later, when +the boy from below-stairs brought him up a card. Kendal +was in his shirt-sleeves, and had just established a +relation of great intimacy with an entirely new subject. +Before the boy reached him he recognized with annoyance +that it was a lady's card, and he took it between his +thumb and his palette with the most brutal impatience. +"You are to say--" he began, and stopped. "Show the lady +up," he said in substitution, while his face cleared with +a puzzled amusement, and he looked at the card again. It +read "Miss Elfrida Bell," but the odd thing was down in +one corner, where ran the statement, in small square +type, "_The Illustrated Age_." + +There was a sweet glory of May sunlight in the streets +outside, and she seemed to bring some of it in with her, +as well as the actual perfume of the bunch of violets +which she wore in her belt. Her eyes, under the queerest +of hats, were bright and soft, there was a faint color +in her cheeks. Her shapely hands were in gray gloves with +long gauntlets, and in one of them she carried a +business-like little black notebook. + +She came in with a shy hesitation that became her very +well, and as she approached, their old understanding +immediately arranged itself between them. "I should be +perfectly justified in sulking," he declared gaily, +disencumbering a chair of a battered tin box of empty +twisted tubes for her, "and asking you to what I might +attribute the honor of this visit." He put up his eye-glass +and stared through it with an absurd affectation of +dignified astonishment. "But I'll magnanimously admit +that I'm delighted to see you. I'll even lay aside my +wounded sensibilities enough to ask you where you've +been." + +"I!" faltered Elfrida softly, with her wide-eyed smile. +"Oh! as if that were of any consequence!" She stepped +back a pace or two to look at an unpacked canvas, and +her expression changed. "Ah!" she said gravely, "how good +it is to see that! I wish I could remember by myself so +much, half so much, of the sunlight of that country. In +three days of these fogs I had forgotten it. I mean the +reality of it Only a pale theory staid with me. Now it +comes back." + +"Then you _have_ been in London?" he probed, while she +looked wistfully at the fringe of a wood in Brittany that +stood upon his canvas. Her eyes left the picture and +wandered around the room. + +"I!" she said again. "In London? Yes, I have been in +London. How _splendidly_ different you are!" she said, +looking straight at him as if she stated a falling of +the thermometer or a quotation from the Stock Exchange. +"But are you sure, _perfectly_ sure," she went on, with +dainty emphasis, "that you can stay different? Aren't +you the least bit afraid that in the end your work may +become--pardon me--commercial, like the rest? Is there +no danger?" + +"I wish you would sit down," Kendal said ruefully. "I +shouldn't feel it so much, perhaps, if you sat down. And +pending my acknowledgment of a Londoner's sin in painting +in London, it seems to me that you have put yourself +under pretty much the same condemnation." + +"I have not come to paint," Elfrida answered quickly. "I +have put away the insanity of thinking I ever could. I +told you that, I think, in a letter. But there are--other +things. You may remember that you thought there were." + +She spoke with so much repressed feeling that Kendal +reproached himself with not having thought carefully +enough about it to take her at her letter's word. He took +up the card that announced her, and looked again at the +lower left-hand corner. "I do remember, but I don't +understand. Is this one of them?" he asked. + +Something, something absolutely unintentional and of the +slightest quality, in his voice operated to lower her +estimate of the announcement on the card, and she flushed +a little. + +"It's--it's a way," she said. "But it was stupid +--bourgeois--of me to send up a card--such a card. With +most of these people it is necessary; with you, of course, +it was hideous! Give it to me, please," and she proceeded +to tear it slowly into little bits. "You must pardon +me," she went on, "but I thought, you know--we are not +in Paris now--and there might be people here. And then, +after all, it explains me." + +"Then I should like another," Kendal interrupted. + +"I'm going to do a descriptive article for the _Age_; +the editor wants to call it 'Through the Studios,' or +something of that sort--about the artists over here and +their ways of working, and their places, and their ideas, +and all that, and I thought, if you didn't mind, I should +like to begin with you. Though it's rather like taking +an advantage." + +"But are you going in for this sort of thing seriously? +Have you ever done anything of the sort before? Isn't it +an uncommon grind?" Kendal asked, with hearty interest. +"What made you think of it? Of course you may say any +mortal thing you want to about me--though I call it +treachery, your going over to the critics. And I'm afraid +you won't find anything very picturesque here. As you +say, we're not in Paris." + +"Oh yes, I shall," she replied sweetly, ignoring his +questions. "I like pipes and cobwebs and old coats hanging +on a nail, and plenty of litter and dust and confusion. +It's much better for work than tapestries and old armour +and wood-carvings." + +Miss Bell did not open her little black notebook to record +these things, however. Instead, she picked up a number +of the _London Magazine_ and looked at the title of an +article pencil-marked on the pale green cover. It was +Janet Cardiff's article, and Lady Halifax had marked it. +Elfrida had read it before. It was a fanciful recreation +of the conditions of verse-making when Herrick wrote, +very pleasurably ironical in its bearing upon more modern +poetry-making. It had quite deserved the praise she gave +it in the corner which the _Age_ reserved for magazines. +"I want you to understand," she said slowly, "that it is +only a way. I shall not be content to stick at +this--ordinary--kind of journalistic work. I shall aim +at something better--something perhaps even as good as +that," she held up the marked article. "I wonder if she +realizes how fortunate she is--to appear between the same +covers as Swinburne!" + +"It is not fortune altogether," Kendal answered; "she +works hard." + +"Do you know her? Do you see her often? Will you tell +her that there is somebody who takes a special delight +in every word she writes?" asked Elfrida impulsively. +"But no, of course not! Why should she care--she must +hear such things so often. Tell me, though, what is she +like, and particularly how old is she?" + +Kendal had begun to paint again; it was a compliment he +was able to pay only to a very few people. "I shall +certainly repeat it to her," he said. "She can't hear +such things often enough--nobody can. How shall I tell +you what she is like! She is tall, about as tall as you +are, and rather thin. She has a good color, and nice hair +and eyes." + +"What colored eyes?" + +"Brown, I think. No--I don't know, but not blue. And good +eyebrows. Particularly good eyebrows." + +"She must be plain," Elfrida thought, "if he has to dwell +upon her eyebrows. And how old?" she asked again. "Much +over thirty?" + +"Oh dear, no! Not thirty. Twenty-four, I should say." + +Elfrida's face fell perceptibly. "Twenty-four!" she +exclaimed. "And I am already twenty! I shall never catch +up to her in four years. Oh, you have made me so unhappy! +I thought she must be _quite_ old--forty perhaps. I was +prepared to venerate her. But twenty-four and good +eyebrows! It is too much." + +Kendal laughed. "Oh, I say!" he exclaimed, jumping up +and bringing a journal from the other side of the room, +"if you're going in for art criticism, here's something! +Do you see the _Decade?_ The _Decade's_ article on the +pictures in last week's number fairly brought me back to +town." He held his brush between his teeth and found the +place for her. "There! I don't know who did it, and it +was the first thing Miss Cardiff asked me when I put in +my appearance there yesterday, so she doesn't either, +though she writes a good deal for the _Decade_." + +Kendal had gone back to work, and did not see that Elfrida +was making an effort of self-control, with a curious +exaltation in her eyes. "I--I have seen this," she said +presently. + +"Capital, isn't it!" + +"Miss Cardiff asked you who wrote it?" she repeated +hungrily. + +"Yes; she commissioned me to find out, and if he was +respectable to bring him there. Her father said I was to +bring him anyway. So I don't propose to find out. The +Cardiffs have burned their fingers once or twice already +handling obscure genius, and I won't take the +responsibility. But it's adorably savage, isn't it?" + +"Do you really like it!" she asked. It was her first +taste of success, and the savor was very sweet. But she +was in an agony of desire to tell him, to tell him +immediately, but gracefully, delicately, that she wrote +it. How could she say it, and yet seem uneager, indifferent? +But the occasion must not slip. It was a miserable +moment. + +"Immensely," he replied. + +"Then," she said, with just a little more significance +in her voice than she intended, "you would rather not +find out?" + +He turned and met her shining eyes. She smiled, and he +had an instant of conviction. "You," he exclaimed--"you +did it! Really?" + +She nodded, and he swiftly reflected upon what he had +said. "Now criticise!" she begged impatiently. + +"I can only advise you to follow your own example," he +said gravely. "It's rather exuberantly cruel in places." + +"Adorably savage, you _said!_" + +"I wasn't criticising then. And I suppose," he went on, +with a shade of awkwardness, "I ought to thank you for +all the charming things you put in about me." + +"Ah!" she returned, with a contemptuous pout and shrug, +"don't say that--it's like the others. But," she clinched +it notwithstanding, and rather quickly, "will you take +me to see Miss Cardiff? I mean," she added, noting his +look of consternation, "will you ask her if I may come? +I forget--we are in London." + +At this moment the boy from below-stairs knocked with +tea and cakes, little Italian cakes in iced jackets and +paper boats. "Yes, certainly--yes, I will," said Kendal, +staring at the tray, and trying to remember when he had +ordered it; "but it's your plain duty to make us both +some tea, and to eat as many of these pink-and-white +things as you possibly can. They seem to have come down +from heaven for you." + +They ate and drank and talked and were merry for quite +twenty minutes. Elfrida opened her notebook and threatened +absurdities of detail for publication in the _Age_; he +defied her, tilted his chair back, put his feet on a +packing-box, and smoked a cigarette. He placed all the +studies he had made after she left Paris before her, and +as she finished the last but one of the Italian cakes, +they discussed these in the few words from which they +both drew such large and satisfying meanings as do not +lie at all in the vocabulary of outsiders. Elfrida felt +the keenest pleasure of her whole life in the knowledge +that Kendal was talking to her more seriously, more +carefully, because of that piece of work in the _Decade_; +the consciousness of it was like wine to her, freeing +her thoughts and her lips. Kendal felt, too, that the +plane of their relations was somehow altered. He was not +sure that he liked the alteration. Already she had grown +less amusing, and the real _camaraderie_ which she +constantly suggested her desire for he could not, at the +bottom of his heart, truly tolerate with a woman. He was +an artist, but he was also an Englishman, and he told +himself that he must not let her get into the way of +coming there. He felt an obscure inward irritation, which +he did not analyze, that she should talk so well and be +so charming personally at the same time. + +Elfrida, still in the flush of her elation, was putting +on her gloves to go, when the room resounded to a masterful +double rap. The door almost simultaneously opened far +enough to disclose a substantial gloved hand upon the +outer handle, and in the tones of confident aggression +which habit has given to many middle-aged ladies, a +feminine voice said, "May we come in?" + +It is not probable that Lady Halifax had ever been so +silently, surely, and swiftly damned before. In the +fraction of an instant that followed Kendal glanced at +the dismantled tray and felt that the situation was +atrocious. He had just time to put his foot upon his +half-smoked cigarette, and to force a pretence of unconcern +into his "Come in! Come in!" when the lady and her daughter +entered with something of unceremoniousness. + +"Those are appalling stairs--" Lady Halifax observed +Elfrida, and came to an instant's astonished halt--"of +yours, Mr. Kendal, appalling!" Then as Kendal shook hands +with Miss Halifax she faced round upon him in a manner +which said definitely, "Explain!" and behind her sharp +good-natured little eyes Kendal read, "If it is possible!" +He looked at Elfrida in the silent hope that she would +go, but she appeared to have no such intention. He was +pushed to a momentary wish that she had got into the +cupboard, which he dismissed, turning a deeper brick +color as it came and went. Elfrida was looking up with +calm inquiry, buttoning a last glove-button. + +"Lady Halifax," he said, seeing nothing else for it, +"this is Miss Bell, from America, a fellow-student in +Paris. Miss Bell has deserted art for literature, though," +he went on bravely, noting an immediate change in his +visitor's expression, and the fact that her acknowledgment +was quite as polite as was necessary. "She has done me +the honor to look me up this afternoon in the formidable +character of a representative of the press." + +Lady Halifax looked as if the explanation was quite +acceptable, though she reserved the right of criticism. + +Elfrida took the first word, smiling prettily straight +into Lady Halifax's face. + +"Mr. Kendal pretends to be very much frightened," she +said, with pleasant, modest coolness, and looked at +Kendal. + +"From America," Lady Halifax repeated, as if for the +comfort of the assurance. "I am sure it is a great +advantage nowadays to have been brought up in America." +This was quite as delicately as Lady Halifax could possibly +manage to inform Kendal that she understood the situation. +Miss Halifax was looking absorbedly at Elfrida. "Are you +really a journalist?" Miss Halifax asked. "How nice! I +didn't know there were any ladies on the London press, +except, of course, the fashion-papers, but that isn't +quite the same, is it?" + +When Miss Halifax said "How nice!" it indicated a strong +degree of interest. The threads of Miss Halifax's +imagination were perpetually twisting themselves about +incidents that had the least unusualness, and here was +a most unusual incident, with beauty and genius thrown +in! Whether she could approve it or not in connection +with Kendal, Miss Halifax would decide afterward. She +told herself that she ought to be sufficiently devoted +to Kendal to be magnanimous about his friends. Her six +years of seniority gave her the candor to confess that +she was devoted to Kendal--to his artistic personality, +that is, and to his pictures. While Kendal turned a still +uncomfortable back upon them, showing Lady Halifax what +he had done since she had been there last--she was always +pitiless in her demands for results--Elfrida talked a +little about "the press" to Miss Halifax. Very lightly +and gracefully she talked about it, so lightly and +gracefully that Miss Halifax obtained an impression which +she has never lost, that journalism for a woman had ideal +attractions, and privately resolved if ever she were +thrown upon the bleak world to take it up. As the others +turned toward them again Elfrida noticed the +conscience-stricken glance which Kendal gave to the +tea-tray. + +"Oh," she said, with a slight enhancement of her pretty +Parisian gurgle, "I am very guilty--you must allow me to +say that I am very guilty indeed! Mr. Kendal did not +expect to see me to-day, and in his surprise he permitted +me to eat up all the cakes! I am so sorry! Are there no +more--anywhere?" she asked Kendal, with such a gay +pretence of tragic grief that they all laughed together. +She went away then, and while they waited for a fresh +supply of tea, Kendal did his best to satisfy the curiosity +of the Halifaxes about her. He was so more than thankful +she had convinced them that she was a person about whom +it was proper to be curious. + + + + +CHAPTER XII. + +It was Arthur Rattray who generally did the art criticism +for the _Decade_, and when a temporary indisposition +interfered between Mr. Rattray and this duty early in +May, he had acquired so much respect for Elfrida's opinion +in artistic matters, and so much good-will toward her +personally, that he wrote and asked her to undertake it +for him with considerable pleasure. This respect and +regard had dawned upon him gradually, from various sources, +in spite of the fact that the Latin Quarter article had +not been a particular success. That, to do Miss Bell +justice, as Mr. Rattray said in mentioning the matter to +the editor-in-chief, was not so much the fault of the +article as the fault of their public. Miss Bell wrote +the graphic naked truth about the Latin Quarter. Even +after Rattray had sent her copy back to be amended for +the third time, she did not seem able to realize that +their public wouldn't stand _unions libres_ when not +served up with a moral purpose--that no artistic apology +for them would do. In the end, therefore, Rattray was +obliged to mutilate the article himself, and to neutralize +it here and there. He was justified in taking the trouble, +for it was matter they wanted, on account of some expensive +drawings of the locality that had been in hand a long +time. Even then the editor-in-chief had grumbled at its +"tone," though the wrath of the editor-in-chief was +nothing to Miss Bell's. Mr. Rattray could not remember +ever having had before a conversation with a contributor +which approached in liveliness or interest the one he +sustained with Miss Bell the day after her copy appeared. +If he imparted some ideas of expediency, he received some +of obligation to artistic truth, which he henceforth +associated with Elfrida's expressive eyes and what he +called her foreign accent. On the whole, therefore, the +conversation was agreeable, and it left him with the +impression that Miss Bell, under proper guidance, could +very possibly do some fresh unconventional work for the +_Age_. Freshness and unconventionality for the _Age_ was +what Mr. Rattray sought as they seek the jewel in the +serpent's head in the far East. He talked to the +editor-in-chief about it, mentioning the increasing lot +of things concerning women that had to be touched, which +only a woman could treat "from the inside," and the +editor-in-chief agreed sulkily, because experience told +him it was best to agree with Mr. Rattray, that Miss Bell +should be taken on the staff on trial, at two pounds a +week. "But the paper doesn't want a female Zola," he +growled; "you can tell her that." Rattray did not tell +her precisely that, but he explained the situation so +that she quite understood it, the next afternoon when he +called to talk the matter over with her. He could not +ask her to come to the office to discuss it, he said, +they were so full up, they had really no place to receive +a lady. And he apologized for his hat, which was not a +silk one, in the uncertain way of a man who has heard of +the proprieties in these things. She made him tea with +her samovar, and she talked to him about Parisian journalism +and the Parisian stage in a way that made her a further +discovery to him; and his mind, hitherto wholly devoted +to the service of the _Illustrated Age_, received an +impetus in a new direction. When he had gone Elfrida +laughed a little, silently, thinking first of this, for +it was quite plain to her. Then, contrasting what the +_Age_ wanted her to write with her ideal of journalistic +literature, she stated to Buddha that it was "worse than +_panade_." "But it means two pounds a week, Buddha," she +said; "fifty francs! Do you understand that? It means +that we shall be able to stay here, in the world--that +I shall not be obliged to take you to Sparta. You don't +know, Buddha, how you would _loathe_ Sparta! But understand, +it is at _that_ price that we are going to despise +ourselves for a while--not for the two pounds!" + +And next day she was sent to report a distribution of +diplomas to graduating nurses by the Princess of Wales. + +Buddha was not an adequate confidant. Elfrida found him +capable of absorbing her emotions indefinitely, but his +still smile was not always responsive enough, so she made +a little feast, and asked Golightly Ticke to tea, the +Sunday after the Saturday that made her a salaried member +of the London press. Golightly's felicitations were +sincere and spasmodically sympathetic, but he found it +impossible to conceal the fact that of late the world +had not smiled equally upon him. In spite of the dramatic +fervor with which the part of James Jones, a solicitor's +clerk, had been rendered every evening, the piece at the +Princess's had to come to an unprofitable close, the +theatre had been leased to an American company, Phyllis +had gone to the provinces, and Mr. Ticke's abilities were +at the service of chance. By the time he had reached +his second cigarette he was so sunk in cynicism that +Elfrida applied herself delicately to discover these +facts. Golightly made an elaborate effort to put her off. +He threw his head back in his chair and watched the faint +rings of his cigarette curling into indistinguishability +against the ceiling, and said he was only the dust that +blew about the narrow streets of the world, and why should +she care to know which way the wind took him! Lighting +his third, he said, as bitterly as that engrossment would +permit him, that the sooner--puff--it was over--puff--the +sooner--puff--to sleep; and when the lighting was quite +satisfactorily accomplished he laughed harshly. "I shall +think," said Elfrida earnestly, "if you do not tell me +how things are with you, since they are bad, that you +are not a true Bohemian--that you have scruples." + +"You know better--at least I hope you do--than to charge +me with that," Golightly returned, with an inflection +full of reproachful meaning. "I--I drank myself to sleep +last night, Miss Bell. When the candle flickered out I +thought that it was all over--curious sensation. This +morning," he added, looking through his half-closed +eyelashes with sardonic stage effect, "I wished it had +been." + +"Tell me," Elfrida insisted gently; and looking attentively +at his long, thin fingers Mr. Ticke then told her. He +told her tersely, it did not take long; and in the end +he doubled up his hand and pulled a crumpled cuff down +over it. "To me," he said, "a thing like that represents +the worst of it. When I look at that I feel capable of +crime. I don't know whether you'll understand, but the +consideration of what my finer self suffers through +sordidness of this sort sometimes makes me think that to +rob a bank would be an act of virtue." + +"I understand," said Elfrida. + +"Washerwomen as a class are callous. I suppose the alkalies +they use finally penetrate to their souls. I said to +mine last Thursday, 'But I must be clean, Mrs. Binkley!' +and the creature replied, 'I don't see at all, Mr. Ticks' +--she has an odious habit of calling me Mr. Ticks--'why +you shouldn't go dirty occasional.' She seemed to think +she had made a joke!" + +"They live to be paid," Elfrida said, with hard philosophy, +and then she questioned him delicately about his play. +Could she induce him to show it to her, some day? Her +opinion was worth nothing really--oh no, absolutely +nothing--but it would be a pleasure if Golightly were +_sure_ he didn't mind. + +Golightly found a difficulty in selecting phrases repressive +enough to be artistic, in which to tell her that he would +be delighted. + +When Mr. Ticke came in that evening he found upon his +dressing-table a thick square envelope addressed to him +in Elfrida's suggestive hand. With his fingers and thumb +he immediately detected a round hardness in one corner, +and he took some pains to open the letter so that nothing +should fall out. He postponed the pleasure of reading it +until he had carefully extracted the two ten-shilling +pieces, divested them of their bits of tissue-paper, and +put them in his waistcoat pocket. Then he held the letter +nearer to the candle and read: "I have thought about this +for a whole hour. You must believe, please, that it is +no vulgar impulse. I acknowledge it to be a very serious +liberty, and in taking it I rely upon not having +misinterpreted the scope of the freedom which exists +between us. In Bohemia--our country--one may share one's +luck with a friend, _n'est ce pas?_ I will not ask to be +forgiven." + +"Nice girl," said Mr. Golightly Ticke, taking off his +boots. He went to bed rather resentfully conscious of +the difference there was in the benefactions of Miss +Phyllis Fane. + +Shortly after this Mr. Ticke's own luck mended, and on +two different occasions Elfrida found a bunch of daffodils +outside her door in the morning, that made a mute and +graceful acknowledgment of the financial bond Mr. Ticke +did not dream of offering to materialize in any other +way. He felt his gratitude finely; it suggested to him +a number of little directions in which he could make +himself useful to Miss Bell, putting aside entirely the +question of repayment. One of these resolved itself into +an invitation from the Arcadia Club, of which Mr. Ticke +was a member in impressive arrears, to their monthly +_soiree_ in the Landscapists' rooms in Bond Street. The +Arcadia Club had the most liberal scope of any in London, +he told Elfrida, and included the most interesting people. +Painters belonged to it, and sculptors, actors, novelists, +musicians, journalists, perhaps above all, journalists. +A great many ladies were members, Elfrida would see, and +they were always glad to welcome a new personality. The +club recognized how the world had run to types, and how +scarce and valuable personalities were in consequence. +It was not a particularly conventional club, but he would +arrange that, if Elfrida would accept his escort. Mrs. +Tommy Morrow should meet her in the dressing-room, as a +concession to the prejudices of society. + +"Mrs. Tommy is a brilliant woman in her way," Mr. Ticke +added; "she edits the _Boudoir_--I might say she created +the _Boudoir_. They call her the Queen of Arcadia. She +has a great deal of manner." + +"What does Mr. Tommy Morrow do?" Elfrida asked. But +Golightly could not inform her as to Mr. Tommy Morrow's +occupation. + +The rooms were half full when they arrived, and as the +man in livery announced them, "Mrs. Morrow, Miss Bell, +and Mr. Golightly Ticke," it seemed to Elfrida that +everybody turned simultaneously to look. There was nobody +to receive them; the man in livery published them, as it +were, to the company, which she felt to be a more effective +mode of entering society, when it was the society of the +arts. She could not possibly help being aware that a +great many people were looking in her direction over Mrs. +Tommy Morrow's shoulder. Presently it became obvious that +Mrs. Tommy Morrow was also aware of it. The shoulder was +a very feminine shoulder, with long lines curving forward +into the sulphur-colored gown that met them not too +prematurely. Mrs. Tommy Morrow insisted upon her shoulder, +and upon her neck, which was short behind but long in +front in effect, and curved up to a chin which was somewhat +too persistently thrust forward. Mrs. Tommy had a pretty +face with an imperious expression. "Just the face," as +Golightly murmured to Elfrida, "to run the _Boudoir_." +She seemed to know everybody, bowed right and left with +varying degrees of cordiality, and said sharply, "No shop +to-night!" to a thin young woman in a high black silk, +who came up to her exclaiming, "Oh, Mrs. Morrow, that +function at Sandringham has been postponed." Presently +Mrs. Morrow's royal progress was interrupted by a gentleman +who wished to present Signer Georgiadi, "the star of the +evening," Golightly said hurriedly to Elfrida. Mrs. Morrow +was very gracious, but the little fat Italian with the +long hair and the drooping eyelids was atrociously +embarrassed to respond to her compliments in English. He +struggled so violently that Mrs. Morrow began to smile +with a compassionate patronage which turned him a +distressing terra-cotta. Elfrida looked on for a few +minutes, and then, as one of the group, she said quietly +in French, "And Italian opera in England, how do you find +it, Signor?" + +The Italian thanked her with every feature of his expressive +countenance, and burst with polite enthusiasm into his +opinion of the Albert Hall concerts. When he discovered +Elfrida to be an American, and therefore not specially +susceptible to praise of English classical interpretations, +he allowed himself to become critical, and their talk +increased in liveliness and amiability. + +Mrs. Morrow listened with an appreciative air for a few +minutes, playing with her fan; then she turned to Mr. +Ticke. + +"Golightly," she said acidly, "I am dying of thirst You +shall take me to the refreshment table." + +So the star of the evening was abandoned to Elfrida, and +finding in her a refuge from the dreadful English tongue, +he clung to her. She was so occupied with him in this +character that almost all the other distinguished people +who attended the _soiree_ of the Arcadia Club escaped +her. Golightly asked her reproachfully afterward how he +could possibly have pointed them out to her, absorbed as +she was--and some of them would have been so pleased to +be introduced to her! She met a few notwithstanding; +they were chiefly rather elderly unmarried ladies, who +immediately mentioned to her the paper they were connected +with, and one or two of them, learning that she was a +newcomer, kindly gave her their cards, and asked her to +come and see them any second Tuesday. They had indefinite +and primitive ideas of doing their hair, and they were +certainly _mal tournee_; but Elfrida saw that she made +an impression on them--that they would remember her and +talk of her; and seeing that, other things became less +noteworthy. She felt that these ladies were more or less +emancipated, on easy terms with the facts of life, free +from the prejudices that tied the souls of people she +saw shopping at the Stores, for instance. That, and a +familiarity with the exigencies of copy at short notice, +was discernible in the way they talked and looked about +them, and the readiness with which they produced a pencil +to write the second Tuesday on their cards. Almost every +lady suggested that she might have decorated the staff +of her journal an appreciable number of years, if that +supposition had not been forbidden by the fact that the +feminine element in journalism is of comparatively recent +introduction. Elfrida wondered what they occupied themselves +with before. It did not detract from her sense of the +success of the evening--Golightly Ticke went about telling +everybody that she was the new American writer on the +_Age_--to feel herself altogether the youngest person +present, and manifestly the most effectively dressed, in +her cloudy black net and daffodils. Her spirits rose with +a keen instinct that assured her she would win, if it +were only a matter of a race with _them_. She had never +had the feeling, in any security, before; it lifted her +and carried her on in a wave of exhilaration. Golightly +Ticke, taking her in turn to the buffet for lemonade and +a sandwich, told her that he knew she would enjoy it--she +must be enjoying it, she looked in such capital form. It +was the first time she had been near the buffet; so she +had not had the opportunity of observing how important +a feature the lemonade and sandwiches formed in the +entertainment of the evening--how persistently the +representatives of the arts, with varying numbers of +buttons off their gloves, returned to this light +refreshment. + +Elfrida thanked Mrs. Tommy Morrow very sweetly for her +chaperonage in the cloak-room when the hour of departure +came. "Well," said Mrs. Morrow, "you can say you have +seen a characteristic London literary gathering." + +"Yes, thanks!" said Elfrida; and then, looking about her +for a commonplace, "How much taller the women seem to be +than the men," she remarked. + +"Yes," returned Mrs. Tommy Morrow, "Du Maurier drew +attention to that in _Punch_, some time ago." + + + + +CHAPTER XIII. + +Janet Cardiff, running downstairs to the drawing-room +from the top story of the house in Kensington Square with +the knowledge that a new American girl, who wrote very +clever things about pictures, awaited her there, tried +to remember just what sort of description John Kendal +had given of her visitor. Her recollection was vague as +to detail; she could not anticipate a single point with +certainty, perhaps because she had not paid particular +attention at the time. She had been given a distinct +impression that she might expect to be interested, however, +which accounted for her running downstairs. Nothing +hastened Janet Cardiff's footsteps more than the prospect +of anybody interesting. She and her father declared that +it was their great misfortune to be thoroughly respectable, +it cut them off from so much. It was in particular the +girl's complaint against their life that humanity as they +knew it was rather a neutral-tinted, carefully woven +fabric too largely "machine-made," as she told herself, +with a discontent that the various Fellows of the Royal +Society and members of the Athenaeum Club, with whom the +Cardiffs were in the habit of dining, could hardly have +thought themselves capable of inspiring. It seemed to +Janet that nobody crossed their path until his or her +reputation was made, and that by the time people had made +their reputations they succumbed to them, and became +uninteresting. + +She told herself at once that nothing Kendal could have +said would have prepared her for this American, and that +certainly nothing she had seen or read of other Americans +did. Elfrida was standing beside the open window looking +out. As Janet came in a breeze wavered through and lifted +the fluffy hair about her visitor's forehead, and the +scent of the growing things in the little square came +with it into the room. She turned slowly, with grave wide +eyes and a plaintive indrawing of her pretty underlip, +and held out three full-blown gracious Marechal Neil +roses on long slender stems. "I have brought you these," +she said, with a charming effect of simplicity, "to make +me welcome. There was no reason, none whatever, why I +should be welcome, so I made one. You will not be +angry--perhaps?" + +Janet banished her conventional "Very glad to see you" +instantly. She took the roses with a quick thrill of +pleasure. Afterward she told herself that she was not +touched, not in the least, she did not quite know why; +but she freely acknowledged that she was more than amused. + +"How charming of you!" she said. "But I have to thank +you for coming as well. Now let us shake hands, or we +shan't feel properly acquainted." Janet detected a +half-tone of patronage in her voice, and fell into a rage +with herself because of it. She looked at Elfrida sharply +to note a possible resentment, but there was none. If +she had looked a trifle more sharply she might have +observed a subtler patronage in the little smile her +visitor received this commonplace with; but, like the +other, she was too much occupied in considering her +personal effect. She had become suddenly desirous that +it should be a good one. + +Elfrida went on in the personal key. "I suppose you are +very tired of hearing such things," she said, "but I owe +you so much." + +This was not quite justifiable, for Miss Cardiff was only +a successful writer in the magazines, whose name was very +familiar to other people who wrote in them, and had a +pleasant association for the reading public. It was by +no means fame; she would have been the first to laugh at +the magniloquence of the word in any personal connection. +For her father she would accept a measure of it, and only +deplored that the lack of public interest in Persian made +the measure small. She had never confessed to a soul how +largely she herself was unacquainted with his books, and +how considerably her knowledge of her father's specialty +was covered by the opinion that Persian was a very +decorative character. She could not let Elfrida suppose +that she thought this anything but a politeness. + +"Oh, thanks--impossible!" she cried gaily. "Indeed, I +assure you it is months since I heard anything so +agreeable," which was also a departure from the strictest +verity. + +"But truly! I'm afraid I am very clumsy," Elfrida added, +with a pretty dignity, "but I should like to assure you +of that." + +"If you have allowed me to amuse you now and then for +half an hour it has been very good of you," Janet returned, +looking at Miss Bell with rather more curious interest +than she thought it polite to show. It began to seem to +her, however, that the conventional side of the occasion +was not obvious from any point of view. "You are an +American, aren't you?" she asked. "Mr. Kendal told me +so. I suppose one oughtn't to say that one would like +to be an American. But you have such a pull! I know I +should like living there." + +Elfrida gave herself the effect of considering the matter +earnestly. It flitted, really, over the surface of her +mind, which was engaged in absorbing Janet and the room, +and the situation. + +"Perhaps it is better to be born in America than in--most +places," she said, with a half glance at the prim square +outside. "It gives you a point of view that is--splendid." +In hesitating this way before her adjectives, she always +made her listeners doubly attentive to what she had to +say. "And having been deprived of so much that you have +over here, we like it better, of course, when we get it, +than you do. But nobody would live in constant deprivation. +No, you wouldn't like living there. Except in New York, +and, oh, I should say Santa Barbara, and New Orleans +perhaps, the life over there is--infernal." + +"You are like a shower-bath," said Janet to herself; but +the shower-bath had no palpable effect upon her. "What +have we that is so important that you haven't got?" she +asked. + +"Quantities of things." Elfrida hesitated, not absolutely +sure of the wisdom of her example. Then she ventured it. +"The picturesqueness of society--your duchesses and your +women in the green-grocers' shops." It was not wise, she +saw instantly. + +"Really? It is so difficult to understand that duchesses +are interesting--out of novels; and the green-grocers' +wives are a good deal alike, too, aren't they?" + +"It's the contrast; you see our duchesses were +green-grocers' wives the day before yesterday, and our +green-grocers' wives subscribe to the magazines. It's +all mixed up, and there are no high lights anywhere. You +move before us in a sort of panoramic pageant," Elfrida +went on, determined to redeem her point, "with your Queen +and Empress of India--she ought to be riding on an +elephant, oughtn't she?--in front, and all your princes +and nobles with their swords drawn to protect her. Then +your Upper Classes and your Upper Middle Classes walking +stiffly two and two; and then your Lower Middle Classes +with large families, dropping their h's; and then your +hideous people from the slums. And besides," she added, +with prettily repressed enthusiasm, "there is the shadowy +procession of all the people that have gone before, and +we can see that you are a good deal like them, though +they are more interesting still. It is very pictorial." +She stopped suddenly and consciously, as if she had said +too much, and Janet felt that she was suggestively +apologized to. + +"Doesn't the phenomenal squash make up for all that?" +she asked. "It would to me. I'm dying to see the phenomenal +squash, and the prodigious water-melon, and--" + +"And the falls of Niagara?" Elfrida put in, with the +faintest turning down of the corners of her mouth. "I'm +afraid our wonders are chiefly natural, and largely +vegetable, as you say." + +"But they are wonders. Everything here has been measured +so many times. Besides, haven't you got the elevated +railway, and a statue of Liberty, and the 'Jeanne d'Arc,' +and W. D. Howells! To say nothing of a whole string of +poets--good gray poets that wear beards and laurels, and +fanciful young ones that dance in garlands on the back +pages of the _Century_. Oh, I know them all, the dear +things! And I'm quite sure their ideas are indigenous to +the soil." + +Elfrida let her eyes tell her appreciation, and also the +fact that she would take courage now, she was gaining +confidence. "I'm glad you like them," she said. "Howells +would do if he would stop writing about virtuous +sewing-girls, and give us some real _romans psychologiques_. +But he is too much afraid of soiling his hands, that +monsieur; his _betes humaines_ are always conventionalized, +and generally come out at the end wearing the halo of +the redeemed. He always reminds me of Cruikshank's picture +of the ghost being put out by the extinguisher in the +'Christmas Carol.' His genius is the ghost, and +conventionality is the extinguisher. But it _is_ genius, +so it's a pity." + +"It seems to me that Howells deals honestly with his +materials," Janet said, instinctively stilling the jar +of Elfrida's regardless note. She was so pretty, this +new creature, and she had such original ways. Janet must +let her talk about _romans psychologiques_, or worse +things, if she wanted to. "To me he has a tremendous +appearance of sincerity, psychological and other. But do +you know, I don't think the English or American people +are exactly calculated to reward the sort of vivisection +you mean. The _bete_ is too conscious of his moral fibre +when he's respectable, and when he isn't respectable he +doesn't commit picturesque crimes, he steals and boozes. +I dare say he's bestial enough, but pure unrelieved filth +can't be transmuted into literature, and as a people +we're perfectly devoid of that extraordinary artistic +nature that it makes such a foil for in the Latins. That +is really the only excuse the naturalists have." + +"Excuse!" Elfrida repeated, with a bewildered look. "You +had Wainwright," she added hastily. + +"_Nous nous en felicitons!_ We've got him still--in Madame +Tussaud's," cried Janet "He poisoned for money in cold +blood--not exactly an artistic vice! Oh, _he_ won't +do!"--she laughed triumphantly--"if he did write charming +things about the Renaissance! Besides, he illustrates my +case; among us he was a phenomenon, like the elephant-headed +man. Phenomena are for the scientists. You don't mean +to tell me that any literature that pretends to call +itself artistic has a right to touch them." + +By this time they had absolutely forgotten that up to +twenty minutes ago they had never seen each other before. +Already they had mutely and unconsciously begun to rejoice +that they had come together; already each of them promised +herself the exploration of the other's nature, with the +preliminary idea that it would be a satisfying, at least +an interesting process. The impulse made Elfrida almost +natural, and Janet perceived this with quick +self-congratulation. Already she had made up her mind +that this manner was a pretty mask which it would be her +business to remove. + +"But--but you're not in it!" Elfrida returned. "Pardon +me, but you're not _there_, you know. Art has no ideal +but truth, and to conventionalize truth is to damn it In +the most commonplace material there is always truth, but +here they conventionalize it out of all--" + +"Oh," cried Janet, "we're a conventional people, I assure +you, Miss Bell, and so are you, for how could you change +your spots in a hundred years? The material here is +conventional. Daudet couldn't have written of us. Our +wicked women are too inglorious. Now Sapho--" + +Miss Cardiff stopped at the ringing of the door-bell. +"Oh," she said, "here is my father. You will let me give +you a cup of tea now, won't you?" The maid was bringing +in the tray. "I should like you to meet my father." + +Lawrence Cardiff's grasp was on the door-handle almost +as she spoke. Seeing Elfrida, he involuntarily put up +his hand to settle the back of his coat collar--these +little middle-aged ways were growing upon him--and shook +hands with her as Janet introduced them, with that courtly +impenetrable agreeableness that always provoked curiosity +about him in strangers, and often led to his being taken +for somebody more important than he was, usually somebody +in politics. Elfrida saw that he was quite different from +her conception of a university professor with a reputation +in Persian and a clever daughter of twenty-four. He was +straight and slender for one thing; he had gay inquiring +eyes, and fair hair just beginning to show gray where +the ends were brushed back; and Elfrida immediately became +aware that his features were as modern and as mobile as +possible. She had a moment of indecision and surprise +--indecision as to the most effective way of presenting +herself, and surprise that it should be necessary to +decide upon a way. It had never occurred to her that a +gentleman who had won scientific celebrity by digging +about Arabic roots, and who had contributed a daughter +like Janet to the popular magazines, could claim anything +of her beyond a highly respectful consideration. In +moments when she hoped to know the Cardiffs well she had +pictured herself doing little graceful acts of politeness +toward this paternal person--acts connected with his +spectacles, his _Athenian_, his foot-stool But apparently +she had to meet a knight and not a pawn. + +She was hardly aware of taking counsel with herself; and +the way she abandoned her hesitations, and what Janet +was inwardly calling her Burne-Jonesisms, had all the +effect of an access of unconsciousness. Janet Cardiff +watched it with delight. "But why," she asked herself in +wonder, "should she have been so affected--if it was +affectation--with _me?_" She would decide whether it was +or was not afterward, she thought. Meanwhile she was glad +her father had thought of saying something nice about the +art criticism in the _Decade_; he was putting it so much +better than she could, and it would do for both of them. + +"You paint yourself, I fancy?" Mr. Cardiff was saying +lightly. There was no answer for an instant, or perhaps +three. Elfrida was looking down. Presently she raised +her eyes, and they were larger than ever, and wet. + +"No," she said, a little tensely. "I have tried" +--"trr-hied," she pronounced it--"but--but I cannot." + +Lawrence Cardiff looked at his teaspoon in a considering +way, and Janet reflected, not without indignation, that +this was the manner in which people who cared for them +might be expected to speak of the dead. But Elfrida cut +short the reflection by turning to her brightly. "When +Mr. Cardiff came in," she said, "you were telling me why +a Daudet could not write about the English. It was +something about Sapho--" + +Mr. Cardiff looked up curiously, and Janet, glancing in +her father's direction, reddened. Did this strange young +woman not realize that it was impossible to discuss beings +like "Sapho" with one's father in the room? Apparently +not, for she went on: "It seems to me it is the exception +in that class, as in all classes, that rewards interest--" + +That rewards interest? What might she not say next! + +"Yes," interrupted Janet desperately, "but then my father +came in and changed the subject of our conversation. +Where are you living, Miss Bell?" + +"Near Fleet Street," said Elfrida, rising. "I find the +locality most interesting, when I can see it. I can +patronize the Roman baths, and lunch at Dr. Johnson's +pet tavern, and attend service in the church of the real +Templars if I like. It is delightful. I did go to the +Temple Church a fortnight ago," she added, "and I saw +such a horrible thing that I am not sure that I will go +again. There is a beautiful old Crusader lying there in +stone, and on his feet a man who sat near had hung his +silk hat. And nobody interfered. Why do you laugh?" + +When she had fairly gone Lawrence and Janet Cardiff looked +at each other and smiled. "Well!" cried Janet, "it's a +find, isn't it, daddy?" + +Her father shrugged his shoulders. His manner said that +he was not pleased, but Janet found a tone in his voice +that told her the impression of Elfrida had not been +altogether distasteful. + +"_Fin de siecle_," he said. + +"Perhaps," Janet answered, looking out of the window, "a +little _fin de siecle_." + +"Did you notice," asked Lawrence Cardiff, "that she didn't +tell you where she was living?" + +"Didn't she? Neither she did. But we can easily find out +from John Kendal." + + + + +CHAPTER XIV. + +Kendal hardly admitted to himself that his acquaintance +with Elfrida had gone beyond the point of impartial +observation. The proof of its impartiality, if he had +thought of seeking it, would have appeared to him to lie +in the fact that he found her, in her personality, her +ideas, and her effects, to be damaged by London. The +conventionality--Kendal's careless generalization +preferred a broad term--of the place made her extreme +in every way, and it had recently come to be a conclusion +with him that English conventionality, in moderation, +was not wholly to be smiled at. Returning to it, its +protectiveness had impressed him strongly, and he had a +comforting sense of the responsibility it imposed upon +society. Paris and the Quartier stood out against it in +his mind like something full of light and color and +transient passion on the stage--something to be remembered +with recurrent thrills of keen satisfaction and to be +seen again. It had been more than this, he acknowledged, +for he had brought out of it an element that lightened +his life and vitalized his work, and gave an element of +joyousness to his imagination--it was certain that he +would go back there. And Miss Bell had been in it and +of it--so much in it and of it that he felt impatient +with her for permitting herself to be herself in any +other environment. He asked himself why she could not +see that she was crudely at variance with all color and +atmosphere and law in her present one, and he speculated +as to the propriety of telling her so, of advising her +outright as to the expediency in her own interest, of +being other than herself in London. That was what it +came to, he reflected in deciding that he could not--if +the girl's convictions and motives and aims were real; +and he was beginning to think they were real. And although +he had found himself at liberty to say to her things that +were harder to hear, he felt a curious repugnance to +giving her any inkling of what he thought about this. +It would be a hideous thing to do, he concluded, an +unforgivable thing, and an actual hurt. Kendal had for +women the readiest consideration, and though one of the +odd things he found in Elfrida was the slight degree to +which she evoked it in him, he recoiled instinctively +from any reasoned action which would distress her. But +his sense of her inconsistency with British institutions +--at least he fancied it was that--led him to discourage +somewhat, in the lightest way, Miss Halifax's interested +inquiries about her. The inquiries suggested dimly that +eccentricity and obscurity might be overlooked in any +one whose personality really had a value for Mr. Kendal, +and made an attempt, which was heroic considering the +delicacy of Miss Halifax's scruples, to measure his +appreciation of Miss Bell as a writer--to Miss Halifax +the word wore a halo--and as an individual. If she did +not succeed it was partly because he had not himself +quite decided whether Elfrida, in London, was delightful +or intolerable, and partly because he had no desire to +be complicated in social relations which, he told himself, +must be either ludicrous or insincere. The Halifaxes were +not in any sense literary; their proper pretensions to +that sort of society were buried with Sir William, who +had been editor of the _Brown Quarterly_ in his day, and +many other things. They had inherited his friends as they +had inherited his manuscripts; and in spite of a grievous +inability to edit either of them, they held to one legacy +as fast as to the other. Kendal thought with a somewhat +repelled amusement of any attempt of theirs to assimilate +Elfrida. It was different with the Cardiffs; but even +under their enthusiastic encouragement he was disinclined +to be anything but discreet and cautions about Elfrida. +In one way and another she was, at all events, a young +lady of potentialities, he reflected, and with a view to +their effect among one's friends it might be as well to +understand them. He went so far as to say to himself +that Janet was such a thoroughly nice girl as she was; +and then he smiled inwardly at the thought of how angry +she would be at the idea of his putting any prudish +considerations on her account into the balance against +an interesting acquaintance. He had, nevertheless, a +distinct satisfaction in the fact that it was really +circumstances, in the shape of the _Decade_ article, that +had brought them together, and that he could hardly charge +himself with being more than an irresponsible agent in +the matter. + +Under the influence of such considerations Kendal did +not write to Elfrida at the _Age_ office asking her +address, as he had immediately resolved to do when he +discovered that she had gone away without telling him +where he might find her. It seemed to him that he could +not very well see her at her lodgings. And the pleasure +of coming upon her suddenly as she closed the door of +the _Age_ behind her and stepped out into Fleet Street +a fortnight later overcame him too quickly to permit him +to reflect that he was yielding to an opposite impulse +in asking her to dine with him at Baliero's, as they +might have done in Paris. It was an unlooked-for +opportunity, and it roused a desire which he had not +lately been calculating upon--a desire to talk with her +about all sorts of things, to feel the exhilaration of +her artistic single-mindedness, to find out more about +her, to guess at the meanings behind her eyes. If any +privileged cynic had taken the chance to ask him whether +he found her eyes expressive of purely abstract +significance, Kendal would have answered affirmatively +in all honesty. And he would have added a confession of +his curiosity to discover what she was capable of, if +she was capable of anything--which he considered legitimate +enough. At the moment, however, he had no time to think +of anything but an inducement, and he dashed through +whole pickets of scruples to find one. "They give one +such capital strawberry ices at Baliero's," he begged +her to believe. His resolutions did not even reassert +themselves when she refused. He was conscious only that +it was a bore that she should refuse, and very inconsistent; +hadn't she often dined with him at the Cafe Florian? His +gratification was considerable when she added, "They +smoke there, you know," and, it became obvious, by whatever +curious process of reasoning she arrived at it, that it +was Baliero's restaurant she objected to, and not his +society. + +"Well," he urged, "there are plenty of places where they +don't smoke, though it didn't occur to me that--" + +"Oh," she laughed; "but you must allow it to occur to +you," and she put her finger on her lip. Considering +their solitariness in the crowd, he thought, there was +no reason why he should not say that he was under the +impression she liked the smell of tobacco. + +"There are other places," she went on. "There is a sweet +little green-and-white place like a dairy in Oxford +Street, that calls itself the 'Hyacinth,' which is sacred +to ladies and to gentlemen properly chaperoned. If you +would invite me to dine with you there I should like it +very much." + +"Anywhere," he said. He accepted her proposal to dine at +the "Hyacinth" with the same unquestioning pleasure which +he would have had in accepting her proposal to dine at +the top of the Monument that evening; but he felt an +under perplexity at its terms, which was vaguely disturbing. +How could it possibly matter? Did she suppose that she +advanced palpably nearer to the proprieties in dining +with him in one place rather than the other? There was +an unreasonableness about that which irritated him. + +He felt it more distinctly when she proposed taking an +omnibus instead of the cab he had signalled. "Oh, of +course, if you prefer it," he said; and there was almost +a trace of injured feeling in his voice. It was so much +easier to talk in a cab. + +He lost his apprehensions presently, for it became obvious +to him that this was only a mood, coming, as he said to +himself devoutly, from the Lord knew what combination of +circumstances--he would think that out afterward--but +making Elfrida none the less agreeable while it lasted. +Under its influence she kept away from all the matters +she was fondest of discussing with that extraordinary +candor and startling equity of hers, and talked to him +with a pretty cleverness, about commonplaces of sorts +arising out of the day's news, the shops, the weather. +She treated them all with a gaiety that made her face a +fascinating study while she talked, and pointed them, as +it were, with all the little poises and expressions and +reserves which are commonly a feminine result of +considerable social training. Kendal, entering into her +whim, inwardly compared her with an acknowledged successful +girl of the season with whom he had sat out two dances +the night before in Eaton Square, to the successful girl's +disadvantage. Finding something lacking in that, he came +upon a better analogy in a young married lady of the +diplomatic circle, who had lately been dipping the third +finger of her left hand into politics with the effect of +considerably increasing her note. This struck him as +satisfactory, and he enjoyed finding completion for his +parallel wherever her words and gestures offered it. He +took her at the wish she implied, and eddied with her +around the pool which some counter-current of her nature +had made for the hour in its stream, pleasantly enough. +He made one attempt, as Elfrida unbuttoned her gloves at +their little table at the "Hyacinth," to get her to talk +about her work for the _Age_. + +"Please, _please_ don't mention that," she said. "It is +too revolting. You don't know how it makes me suffer." + +A moment later she returned to it of her own accord, +however. "It is absurd to try to exact pledges from +people," she said, "but I should really be happier +--_much_ happier--if you would promise me something." + +"'By Heaven, I will promise _any_ thing!'" Kendal quoted, +laughing, from a poet much in vogue. + +"Only this--I hope I am not selfish--" she hesitated; +"but I think--yes, I think I must be selfish here. It is +that you will never read the _Age_." + +"I never do," leapt to his lips, but he stopped it in +time. "And why!" he asked instead. + +"Ah, you know why! It is because you might recognize my +work in it--by accident you might--and that would be so +painful to me. It is _not_ my best--please believe it is +not my best!" + +"On one condition I promise," he said: "that when you do +your best you will tell me where to find it" + +She looked at him gravely and considered. As she did so +it seemed to Kendal that she was regarding his whole +moral, mental, and material nature. He could almost see +it reflected in the glass of her great dark eyes. +"Certainly, yes. That is fair--if you really and truly +care to see it. And I don't know," she added, looking up +at him from her soup, "that it matters whether you do or +not, so long as you carefully and accurately pretend that +you do. When my best, my real best, sees the light of +common--" + +"Type," he suggested. + +"Type," she repeated unsmilingly, "I shall be so insatiate +for criticism--I ought to say praise--that I shall even +go so far as to send you a marked copy, very plainly +marked, with blue pencil. Already," she smiled with a +charming effect of assertiveness, "I have bought the blue +pencil." + +"Will it come soon?" Kendal asked seriously. + +"_Cher ami_," Elfrida said, drawing her handsome brows +together a little, "it will come sooner than you expect +That is what I want," she went on deliberately, "more +than anything else in the whole world, to do things +--_good_ things, you understand--and to have them +appreciated and paid for in the admiration of people who +feel and see and know. For me life has nothing else, +except the things that other people do, better and worse +than mine." + +"Better and worse than yours," Kendal repeated. "Can't +you think of them apart?" + +"No, I can't," Elfrida interrupted; "I've tried, and I +can _not_. I know it's a weakness--at least I'm half +persuaded that it is--but I must have the personal standard +in everything." + +"But you are a hero-worshipper; often I have seen you +at it." + +"Yes," she said cynically, while the white-capped maid +who handed Kendal asparagus stared at her with a curiosity +few of the Hyacinth's lady diners inspired, "and when I +look into that I find it is because of a secret +consciousness that tells me that I, in the hero's place, +should have done just the same thing. Or else it is +because of the gratification my vanity finds in my sympathy +with his work, whatever it is. Oh, it is no special +virtue, my kind of hero-worship." The girl looked across +at Kendal and laughed a bright, frank laugh, in which +was no discontent with what she had been telling him. + +"You are candid," Kendal said. + +"Oh yes, I'm candid. I don't mind lying for a noble end, +but it isn't a noble end to deceive one's self." + +"'Oh, purblind race of miserable men--'" Kendal began +lightly, but she stopped him. + +"Don't!" she cried. "Nothing spoils conversation like +quotations. Besides, that's such a trite one; I learned +it at school." + +But Kendal's offence was clearly in his manner. It seemed +to Elfrida that he would never sincerely consider what +she had to say about herself. She went on softly, holding +him with her eyes: "You may find me a simple creature--" + +"_A propos_," laughed Kendal easily, "what is this +particular noble end?" + +"Bah!" she said, "you are right It was a lie, and it had +no end at all. I am complex enough, I dare say. But this +is true, that my egotism is like a little flame within +me. All the best things feed it, and it is so clear that +I see everything in its light. To me it is most dear +and valuable, it simplifies things so. I assure you I +wouldn't be one of the sloppy, unselfish people the world +is full of for anything." + +"As a source of gratification isn't it rather limited?" +Kendal asked. He was thinking of the extra drop of nervous +fluid in Americans that he had been reading about in the +afternoon, and wondering if it often had this development. + +"I don't quite know what you mean," Elfrida returned. +"It isn't a source of gratification, it's a channel. And +it intensifies everything so that I don't care how little +comes that way. If there's anything of me left when I +die it will be that little fierce flame. And when I do +the tiniest thing, write the shortest sentence that rings +_true_, see a beauty or a joy which the common herd pass +by, I have my whole life in the flame, and it becomes my +soul--I'm sure I have no other! + +"When you say that there is no real pleasure in the world +that does not come through art," Elfrida went on again, +widening her eyes seriously, "don't you feel as if you +were uttering something religious--part of a creed--as +the Mussulman feels when he says there is no God but one +God, and Mohammed is his prophet? I do." + +"I never say it," Kendal returned, with a smile. "Does +that make me out a Philistine, or a Hindu, or what?" + +"_You_ a Philistine!" Elfrida cried, as they rose from +the little table. "You are saying a thing that is absolutely +wicked." + +Her quasi-conventional mood had vanished completely, and +as they drove together in a hansom through the mysterious +movement of the lamp-lit London streets, toward her +lodgings, she plunged enjoyingly into certain theories +of her religion, which embraced Arnold and Aristotle and +did not exclude Mr. Whistler, and made wide, ineffectual, +and presumptuous grasps to include all beauty and all +faith. She threw handfuls of the foam of these things at +Kendal, who watched them vanish into the air with pleasure, +and asked if he might smoke. At which she reflected, +deciding that for the present he might not, but when they +reached her lodgings she would permit him to renew his +acquaintance with Buddha, and give him a cigarette. + +During the hour they smoked and talked together Elfrida +was wholly delightful, and only one thing occurred to +mar the enjoyment of the evening as Kendal remembered +it. That was Mr. Golightly Ticke, who came up and smoked +too, and seemed to have an extraordinary familiarity, +for such an utterly impossible person, with Miss Bell's +literary engagements. On his way home Kendal reflected +that it was doubtless a question of time; she would take +to the customs of civilization by degrees, and the sooner +the better. + + + + +CHAPTER XV. + +Shortly afterward Elfrida read Mr. Pater's "Marius," with +what she herself called, somewhat extravagantly, a "hungry +and hopeless" delight. I cannot say that this Oxonian's +tender classical recreation had any critical effect upon +her; she probably found it much too limpid and untroubled +to move her in the least. I mention it by way of saying +that Lawrence Cardiff lent it to her, with a smile of +half-indulgent, half-contemptuous assent to some of her +ideas, which was altered, when she returned the volumes, +by the active necessity of defending his own. Elfrida +had been accepted at the Cardiffs, with the ready tolerance +which they had for types that were remarkable to them, +and not entirely disagreeable; though Janet was always +telling her father that it was impossible that Elfrida +should be a type--she was an exception of the most +exceptionable sort. "I'll admit her to be abnormal, if +you like," Cardiff would return, "but only from an insular +point of view. I dare say they grow that way in Illinois." +But that was in the early stages of their acquaintance +with Miss Bell, which ripened with unprecedented rapidity +for an acquaintance in Kensington Square. It was before +Janet had taken to walking across the gardens with Elfrida +in the half-hour between tea-time and dressing for dinner, +when the two young women, sometimes under dripping +umbrellas, would let the right omnibus follow the wrong +one toward Fleet Street twice and thrice in their +disinclination to postpone what they had to say to each +other. It was also before Elfrida's invasion of the +library and fee-simple of the books, and before she had +said there many things that were original, some that were +impertinent, and a few that were true. The Cardiffs +discussed her less freely as the weeks went on--a sure +sign that she was becoming better liked, accepted less +as a phenomenon, and more as a friend. There grew up in +Janet the beginnings of the strong affection which she +felt for a very few people, an affection which invariably +mingled itself with a lively desire to bestir herself on +their account, to be fully informed as to their +circumstances, and above all to possess relations of +absolute directness with them. She had an imperious +successful strain which insisted upon all this. She was +a capable creature of much perception for twenty-four, +and she had a sense of injury when for any reason she +was not allowed to use her faculties for the benefit of +any one she liked in a way which excited the desire to +do it. Janet had to reproach herself, when she thought +of it, that this sort of liking seldom came by entirely +approved channels, and hardly ever found an object in +her visiting-list. Its first and almost its only essential, +to speak boldly, was an artistic susceptibility with some +sort of relation to her own, which her visiting-list did +not often supply, though it might have been said to +overflow with more widely recognized virtues. For that +Miss Cardiff was known to be willing to sacrifice the +Thirty-nine Articles, respectable antecedents, the +possession of a dress-coat. Her willingness was the more +widely known because in the circle which fate had drawn +around her--ironically, she sometimes thought--it was +not usual to sacrifice these things. As for Janet's own +artistic susceptibility, it was a very private atmosphere +of her soul. She breathed it, one might say, only +occasionally, and with a kind of delicious shame. She +was incapable of sharing her caught-up felicity there +with any one, but it was indispensable that she should +see it sometimes in the eyes of others less contained, +less conscious, whose sense of humor might be more slender +perhaps. Her own nature was practical and managing in +its ordinary aspect, and she had a degree of tact that +was always interfering with her love of honesty. Having +established a friendship by the arbitrary law of sympathy, +it must be admitted that she had an instinctive way of +trying to strengthen it by voluntary benefits, for +affection was a great need with her. + +It was only about this time and very gradually that she +began to realize how much more she cared for John Kendal +than for other people. Since it seemed to be obvious +that Kendal gave her only a share of the affectionate +interest he had for humanity at large, the realization +was not wholly agreeable, and Janet doubtless found +Elfrida, on this account, even a more valuable distraction +than she otherwise would. One of the matters Miss Bell +was in the habit of discussing with some vivacity was +the sexlessness of artistic sympathy. Upon this subject +Janet found her quite inspired. She made a valiant effort +to illumine her thoughts of Kendal by the light Elfrida +threw upon such matters, and although she had to confess +that the future was still hid in embarrassed darkness, +she did manage to construct a theory by which it was +possible to grope along for the present. She also cherished +a hope that this trouble would leave her, as a fever +abates in the night, that she would awake some morning, +if she only had patience, strong and well. In other things +Miss Cardiff, was sometimes jarred rather than shocked +by the American girl's mental attitudes, which, she began +to find, were not so posed as her physical ones. Elfrida +often left her repelled and dissenting. The dissent she +showed vigorously; the repulsion she concealed, sore with +herself because of the concealment. But she could not +lose Elfrida, she told herself; and besides, it was only +a matter of a little tolerance--time and life would change +her, tone her inner self down into the something altogether +exquisite and perfect that she was, to look at, now. + +Elfrida called the Cardiffs' house the oasis of Kensington, +and valued her privileges there more than she valued +anything else in the circumstances about her, except, +perhaps, the privilege she had enjoyed in making the +single contribution, to the _Decade_ of which we know. +That was an event lustrous in her memory, the more lustrous +because it remained solitary and when the editor's check +made its tardy appearance she longed to keep it as a +glorious archive--glorious that is to say, in suggestion, +if not particularly impressive intrinsically. In the end +she fought the temptation of giving herself a dinner a +day for a fortnight out of it, and bought a slender gold +bangle with the money, which she slipped upon her wrist +with a resolution to keep it there always. It must be +believed that her personal decoration did not enter +materially into this design; the bangle was an emblem of +one success and an earnest of others. She wore it as she +might have worn a medal, except that a medal was a public +voice, and the little gold hoop spoke only to her. + +After the triumph that the bangle signified Elfrida felt +most satisfaction in what was constantly present to her +mind as her conquest of the Cardiffs. She measured its +importance by their value. Her admiration for Janet's +work in the beginning had been as sincere as her emulation +of its degree of excellence had been passionate, and +neither feeling had diminished with their intimacy. In +Lawrence Cardiff she felt vaguely the qualities that made +him a marked man among his fellows, his intellectual +breadth and keenness, his poise of brain, if one might +call it so, and the _habilete_ with which, without +permitting it to be part of his character, he sometimes +allowed himself to charm even people of whom he disapproved. +These things were indeterminately present to her, and +led her often to speculate as to how it was that Mr. +Cardiff's work expressed him so little. It seemed to her +that the one purpose of a personality like his was its +expression--otherwise one might as well be of the ruck. +"You write with your intellectual faculties," she said to +him once; "your soul is curiously dumb." But that was later. + +The plane of Elfrida's relations with Janet altered +gradually, one might say, from the inclined, with Elfrida +on her knees at the lower end, to the horizontal. It +changed insensibly enough, through the freemasonry of +confessed and unconfessed ideals, through growing +attraction, through the feeling they shared, though only +Janet voiced it, that there was nothing but the +opportunities and the experience of four years between +them, that in the end Elfrida would do better, stronger, +more original work than she. Elfrida was so much more +original a person, Janet declared to herself, so--and +when she hesitated for this word she usually said +"enigmatical." The answer to the enigma, Janet was sure, +would be written large in publishers' advertisements one +day. In the meantime, it was a vast satisfaction to Janet +to be, as it were, behind the enigma, to consider it with +the privileges of intimacy. These young women felt their +friendship deeply, in their several ways. It held for +them all sacredness and honor and obligation. For Elfrida +it had an intrinsic beauty and interest, like a curio +--she had half a dozen such curios in the museum of her +friends--and for Janet it added something to existence +that was not there before, more delightful and important +than a mere opportunity of expansion. The time came +speedily when it would have been a positive pain to either +of them to hear the other discussed, however favorably. + + + + +CHAPTER XVI. + +Lady Halifax and her daughter had met Miss Bell several +times at the Cardiffs', in a casual way, before it occurred +to either of them to take any sort of advantage of the +acquaintance. The younger lady had a shivering and +frightened delight in occasionally wading ankle-deep in +unconventionality, but she had-lively recollections, in +connection with the Cardiffs, of having been very nearly +taken off her feet. They had since decided that it was +more discreet to ignore Janet's enthusiasms, which were +sometimes quite impossible in their verdict, and always +improbable. The literary ladies and gentlemen whom the +ghost of the departed Sir William brought more or less +unwillingly to Lady Halifax's drawing-rooms were all of +unexceptionable _cachet_; the Halifaxes were constantly +seeing paragraphs about them in the "Literary Gossip" +department of the _Athenian_, mentioning their state of +health, their retirement from scientific appointments, +or the fact that their most recent work of fiction had +reached its fourth edition. Lady Halifax always read the +_Athenian_, even the publishers' announcements; she liked +to keep "in touch," she said, with the literary activities +of the day, and it gave her a special gratification to +notice the prosperity of her writing friends indicated +in tall figures. Miss Halifax read it too, but she liked +the "Art Notes" best; it was a matter of complaint with +her that the house was not more open to artists--new, +original artists like John Kendal. In answer to this +Lady Halifax had a habit of stating that she did not see +what more they could possibly want than the president of +the Royal Academy and the one or two others that came +already. As for John Kendal, he was certainly new and +original, but he was respectable notwithstanding; they +could be certain that he was not putting his originality +on--with a hearth-brush, for the sake of advertisement. +Lady Halifax was not so sure of Elfrida's originality, +of which she had been given a glimpse or two at first, +and which the girl's intimacy with the Cardiffs would +have presupposed in any case. But presently, and somewhat +to Lady Halifax's perplexity, Miss Bell's originality +disappeared. It seemed to melt into the azure of perfect +good-breeding, flecked by little clouds of gay sayings +and politenesses, whenever chance brought her under Lady +Halifax's observation. A not unreasonable solution of +the problem might have been found in Elfrida's instinctive +objection to casting her pearls where they are proverbially +unappreciated, and the necessity in her nature of pleasing +herself by one form of agreeable behavior if not by +another. Lady Halifax, however, ascribed it to the +improving influence of insular institutions, and finally +concluded that it ought to be followed up. + +Elfrida wore amber and white the evening on which Lady +Halifax followed it up--a Parisian modification of a +design carried, out originally by the Sparta dressmaker, +with a degree of hysteria, under Miss Bell's direction. +She wore it with a touch of unusual color in her cheeks +and, an added light in her dark eyes that gave a winsomeness +to her beauty which it had not always. A cunningly bound +spray of yellow-stamened lilies followed the curving line +of her low-necked dress, ending in a cluster in her bosom; +the glossy little leaves of the smilax the florist had +wreathed in with them stood sharply against the whiteness +of her neck. Her hair was massed at the back of her head +simply and girlishly enough, and its fluffiness about +her forehead made a sweet shadow above her eyes. She had +a little fever of expectation, Janet had talked so much +about this reception. Janet had told her that the real +thing, the real English literary thing in numberless +volumes, would be on view at Lady Halifax's. Miss Cardiff +had mentioned this in their discussion of the Arcadia +Club, at which institution she had scoffed so unbearably +that Elfrida, while she cherished the memory of Georgiadi, +had not mentioned it since. Perhaps, after all, she +reflected, Janet was just a trifle blind where people +were not hall-marked. It did not occur to her to consider +how far she herself illustrated this theory. + +But as she went down Mrs. Jordan's narrow flights of +stairs covered with worn oil-cloth, she kissed her own +soft arm for pure pleasure. + +"You are ravishing to-night," she told herself. + +Golightly Ticke's door was open, and he was standing in +it, picturesquely smoking a cigarette with the candle +burning behind him--"Just to see you pass," he said. + +Elfrida paused and threw back her cloak. "How is it?" +she asked, posing for him with its folds gathered in +either hand. + +Ticke scanned her with leisurely appreciation. "It is +exquisite," he articulated. + +Elfrida gave him a look that might have intoxicated nerves +less accustomed to dramatic effects. + +"Then whistle me a cab," she said. + +Mr. Ticke whistled her a cab and put her into it. There +was the least pressure of his long fingers as he took +her hand, and Elfrida forbade herself to resent it. She +felt her own beauty so much that night that she could +not complain of an enthusiasm for it in such a _belle +ame_ as Golightly. + +They went up to tie drawing-room together, if Elfrida +and the Cardiffs, and Lady Halifax immediately introduced +to Miss Bell a hollow-cheeked gentleman with a long gray +beard and bushy eyebrows as a fellow-countryman. "You +can compare your impressions of Hyde Park and St. Paul's," +said Lady Halifax, "but _don't_ call us 'Britishers.' It +really isn't pretty of you." + +Elfrida discovered that the bearded gentleman was principal +of a college in Florida, and corresponded regularly at +one time with the late Sir William. "It is to that," said +he ornately, "that I owe the honor of joining this +brilliant company to-night." He went on to state that he +was over there principally on account of his health--acute +dyspepsia he had, it seemed he'd got out of running order +generally, regularly off the track. "But I've just about +concluded," he continued, with a pathetic twinkle under +his bushy brows, "that I might have a worse reason for +going back. What do you think of the meals in Victoria's +country, Miss Bell? It seems to me sometimes that I'd +give the whole British Museum for a piece of Johnny-cake." + +Elfrida reflected that this was not precisely what she +expected to experience, and presently the hollow-cheeked +Floridian was again at Lady Halifax's elbow for disposal, +while the young lady whose appearance and nationality +had given him so much room for hope smilingly drifted +away from him. The Cardiffs were talking to a rosy and +smooth-faced round-waistcoated gentleman just returned +from Siberia about the unfortunate combination of accidents +by which he lost the mail-train twice in three days, and +Janet had just shaken hands with a short and +cheerful-looking lady astrologist. + +"Behind that large person in the heliotrope brocade--she's +the wife of the _Daily Mercury_--there's a small sofa," +Janet said in an undertone. "I don't think she'll, occupy +it, the-brocade looks so much, better standing--no, there +she goes! Let us sit down." As they crossed the room +Janet added: "In another minute we should have been shut +up in a Russian prison. Daddy's incarcerated already. +And the man told all he knew about them in the public +prints a month ago." They sat down luxuriously together, +and made ready, in their palm-shaded corner, to wreak +the whole of their irresponsible youth upon Lady Halifax's +often venerable and always considerable guests. The warm +atmosphere of the room had the perceptible charge of +personalities. People in almost every part of it were +trying to look unconscious as they pointed out other +people. + +"Tell me about everybody--everybody," said Elfrida. + +"H'm! I don't see anybody, that _is_ anybody, at this +moment. Oh, there's Sir Bradford Barker. Regard him +well, for a brave soul is Sir Bradford, Frida mine." + +"A soldier? At this end of the century one can't feel an +enthusiasm for killing." + +"Not in the least. A member of Parliament who writes +verses and won't be intimidated by Punch into not publishing +them. And the man he is talking to has just done a history +of the Semitic nations. He took me down to dinner last +night, and we talked in the most intelligent manner about +the various ways of preparing crabs. He liked them in +five styles; I wouldn't subscribe to more than three. +That little man with the orchid that daddy has just seized +is the author of the last of the 'Rulers of India' +series--Sir Somebody Something, K.C.S.I. My unconscionable +humbug of a parent probably wants to get something +approaching a fact out of him. Daddy's writing a thing +for one of the reviews on the elective principle for +India this week. He says he's the only writer on Indian +subjects who isn't disqualified by ever having been there, +and is consequently quite free of prejudice." + +"Ah!" said Elfrida, "how _banal!_ I thought you said +there would be something real here--somebody in whose +garment's hem there would be virtue." + +"And I suggest the dress-coat of the historian of the +Semitic nations!" Janet laughed. "Well, if nearly all +our poets are dead and our novelists in the colonies, I +can't help it, can I! Here is Mr. Kendal, at all events." + +Kendal came up, with his perfect manners, and immediately +it seemed to Elfrida that their little group became +distinct from the rest, more important, more worthy of +observation. Kendal never added anything to the unities +of their conversation when he joined these two; he seemed +rather to break up what they had to say to each other +and attract it to himself. He always gave an accent to +the life and energy of their talk; but he made them both +self-conscious and watchful--seemed to put them, as it +were, upon their guard against one another, in a way +which Janet found vaguely distressing. It was invariably +as if Kendal turned their intercourse into a joust by +his mere presence as spectator; as if--Janet put it +plainly to herself, reddening--they mutely asked him to +bestow the wreath on one of them. She almost made up her +mind to ask Elfrida where their understanding went to +when John Kendal came up, but she had not found it possible +yet. There was an embarrassing chance that Elfrida did +not feel their change of attitude, which would entail +nameless surmises. + +"You ought to be at work," Janet said severely to Kendal, +"back at Barbizon or in the fields somewhere. It won't +be always June." + +"Ah, would you banish him!" Elfrida exclaimed daintily. +"Surely Hyde Park is rustic enough--in June." + +Kendal smiled into her face. "It combines all the charm +of the country," he began. + +"And the chic of the town," Elfrida finished for him +gaily. "I know--I've seen the Boot Show." + +"Extremely frivolous," Janet commented. + +"Ah, now we are condemned!" Elfrida answered, and for an +instant it almost seemed as if it were so. + +"Daddy wants you to go and paint straggling gray stone +villages in Scotland now--straggling, climbing gray stone +villages with only a bit of blue at the end of the 'Dead +Wynd' where it turns into the churchyard gate." + +"How charming!" Elfrida exclaimed. + +"I suppose he has been saturating himself with Barrie," +Kendal said. "If I could reproduce Barrie on canvas, I'd +go, like a shot. By the way, Miss Bell, there's somebody +you are, interested in--do you see a middle-aged man, +rather bald, thick-set, coming this way?--George Jasper." + +"Really!" Elfrida exclaimed, jumping to her feet "Oh, +_thank_ you! The most consummate artist in human nature +that the time has given!" she added, with intensity. +"There can be no question. Oh, I am so happy to have seen +him!" + +"I'm not altogether sure," Kendal began, and then he +stopped, looking at Janet in astonished question. Elfrida +had taken half a dozen steps into the middle of the room, +steps so instinct with effect that already as many heads +were turned to look at her. Her eyes were large with +excitement, her cheeks flushed, and she bent her head a +little, almost as if to see nothing that might dissuade +her from her purpose. The author of "The Alien," "A +Moral Catastrophe," "Her Disciple," and a number of other +volumes which cause envy and heart-burnings among +publishers, in the course of his somewhat short-sighted +progress across the room, paused with a confused effort +to remember who this pretty girl might be who wanted to +speak to him. + +Elfrida said, "Pardon me!" and Mr. Jasper instantly +perceived that there could be no question of that, with +her face. She was holding out her hand, and he took it +with absolute mystification. Elfrida had turned very +pale, and a dozen people were listening. "Give me the +right to say I have done this!" she said, looking at him +with shy bravery in her beautiful eyes. She half sank on +one knee and lifted the hand that wrote "A Moral +Catastrophe" to her lips. + +Mr. Jasper repossessed himself of it rather too hastily +for dignity, and inwardly he expressed his, feelings by +a puzzled oath. Outwardly he looked somewhat ashamed of +having inspired this unknown young lady's enthusiasm, +but he did his confused best, on the spur of the moment, +to carry off the situation as one of the contingencies +'to which the semi-public life of a popular novelist is +always subject. + +"Really, you are--much too good. I can't imagine--if +the case had been reversed--" + +Mr. Jasper found himself, accustomed as he was to the +exigencies of London drawing-rooms, horribly in want of +words. And in the bow with which he further defined his +discomfort he added to it by dropping the bit of stephanotis +which he wore in his buttonhole. + +Elfrida sprang to pick it up. "Oh," she cried, "broken at +the stem; see, you cannot wear it anymore. May I keep it?" + +A deadly silence had been widening around them, and now +the daughter of the historian of the Semitic races broke +it by twittering into a laugh behind her fan. Janet met +Kendal's eyes instinctively; he was burning red, and his +manner was eloquent of his helplessness. Angry with +herself for having waited, so long, Janet joined Elfrida +just as the twitter made itself heard, and Mr. Jasper's +face began to stiffen with indignation. + +"Ah, Miss Cardiff," he said with relief, "how do you do! +The rooms are rather warm, don't you think?" + +"I want to introduce you to my Am--my very great friend, +Miss Bell, Mr. Jasper," Janet said quickly, as the buzz +of conversation began again about them. + +Elfrida turned to her reproachfully. "If I had known it +was at all possible that you would do _that_," she said, +"I might have--waited. But I did not know." + +People were still looking at them with curious +attentiveness; they were awkwardly solitary. Kendal in +his corner was asking himself how she could have struck +such a false note--and of all people Jasper, whose polished +work held no trace of his personality, whose pleasure it +was to have no public entity whatever. As Jasper moved +off almost immediately, Kendal saw his tacit discomfort +in the set of his shoulders, and so sure was he of +Elfrida's embarrassment that he himself slipped away to +avoid adding to it. + +"It was all wrong and ridiculous, and she was mad to do +it," thought Janet as she drove home with her father; +"but why need John Kendal have blushed for her?" + + + + +CHAPTER XVII. + +"I am sure you are enjoying it," said Elfrida. + +"Yes," Miss Kimpsey returned. "It's a great treat--it's +a _very_ great treat. Everything surpasses my expectations, +everything is older and blacker and more interesting than +I looked for. And I must say we're getting over a great +deal in the time. Yesterday afternoon we did the entire +Tower. It _did_ give one an idea. But of course you know +every stone in it by now!" + +"I'm afraid I've not seen it," Elfrida confessed gravely. +"I know it's shocking of me." + +"You haven't visited the Tower! Doesn't that show how +benumbing opportunity is to the energies! Now I dare say +that I," Miss Kimpsey went on with gratification, "coming +over with a party of tourists from our State, all bound +to get London and the cathedral towns and the lakes and +Scotland and Paris and Switzerland into the summer +vacation--I presume I may have seen more of the London +sights than you have, Miss Bell." As Miss Kimpsey spoke +she realized that she had had no intention of calling +Elfrida "Miss Bell" when she saw her again, and wondered +why she did it. "But you ought to be fond of sight-seeing, +too," she added, "with your artistic nature." + +Elfrida seemed to restrain a smile. "I don't know that +I am," she said. "I'm sorry that you didn't leave my +mother so well as she ought to be. She hasn't mentioned +it in her letters." In the course of time Miss Bell's +correspondence with her parents had duly re-established +itself. + +"She _wouldn't_, Elf--Miss Bell. She was afraid of +suggesting the obligation to come home to you. She said +with your artistic conscience you couldn't come, and it +would only be inflicting unnecessary pain upon you. But +her bronchitis was no light matter last February. She +was real sick." + +"My mother is always so considerate," Elfrida answered, +reddening, with composed lips. "She is better now, I +think you said." + +"Oh yes, she's some better. I heard from her last week, +and she says she doesn't know how to wait to see me back. +That's on your account, of course. Well, I can tell her +you appear comfortable," Miss Kimpsey looked around, "if +I _can't_ tell her exactly when you'll be home." + +"That is so doubtful, just now--" + +"They're introducing drawing from casts in the High +School," Miss Kimpsey went on, with a note of urgency in +her little twanging voice, "and Mrs. Bell told me I +might just mention it to you. She thinks you could easily +get taken on to teach it. I just dropped round to one or +two of the principal trustees the day before I left, and +they said you had only to apply. It's seven hundred +dollars a year." + +Elfrida's eyebrows contracted. "Thanks very much! It was +extremely kind--to go to so much trouble. But I have +decided that I am not meant to be an artist, Miss Kimpsey," +she said with a self-contained smile. "I think my mother +knows that. I--I don't much like talking about it. Do +you find London confusing? I was dreadfully puzzled at +first." + +"I _would_ if I were alone. I'd engage a special +policeman--the policemen _are_ polite, aren't they? But +we keep the party together, you see, to economize time, +so none of us get lost. We all went down Cheapside this +morning and bought umbrellas--two and three apiece. This +is the most reasonable place for umbrellas. But isn't it +ridiculous to pay for apples by the _pound?_ And then +they're not worth eating. This room does smell of tobacco. +I suppose the gentleman in the apartment below smokes a +great deal." + +"I think he does. I'm so sorry. Let me open another +window." + +"Oh, don't mind _me_! I don't object to tobacco, except +on board, ship. But it must be bad to sleep in." + +"Perhaps," said Elfrida sweetly. "And have you no more +news from home for me, Miss Kimpsey?" + +"I don't know as I have. You've heard of the Rev. Mr. +Snider's second marriage to Mrs. Abraham Peeley, of +course. There's a great deal of feeling about it in +Sparta--the first Mrs. Snider was so popular, you know +--and it isn't a full year. People say it isn't the +_marriage_ they object to under such circumstances, +it's--all that goes before," said Miss Kimpsey, with +decorous repression, and Elfrida burst into a peal of +laughter. "Really," she sobbed, "it's too delicious. Poor +Mr. and Mrs. Snider! Do you think people woo with improper +warmth--at that age, Miss Kimpsey?" + +"I don't know anything about it," Miss Kimpsey declared, +with literal truth. "I suppose such things justify +themselves somehow, especially when it's a clergyman. +And of course you know about your mother's idea of coming +over here to settle?" + +"No!" said Elfrida, arrested. "She hasn't mentioned it. +Do they talk of it seriously?" + +"I don't know about _seriously_. Mr. Bell doesn't seem +as if he could make up his mind. He's so fond of Sparta +you know. But Mrs. Bell is just wild to come. She thinks, +of course, of having you to live with them again; and +then she says that on their present income--you will +excuse my referring to your parents' reduced circumstances, +Miss Bell?" + +"Please go on." + +"Your mother considers that Mr. Bell's means would go +further in England than in America. She asked me to make +inquiries; and I must say, judging from the price of +umbrellas and woollen goods, I think they would." + +Elfrida was silent for a moment, looking steadfastly at +the possibility Miss Kimpsey had developed. "What a +complication!" she said, half to herself; and then, +observing Miss Kimpsey's look of astonishment: "I had no +idea of that," she repeated; "I wonder that they have +not mentioned it." + +"Well then!" said Miss Kimpsey, with sudden compunction, +"I presume they wanted to surprise you. And I've gone +and spoiled it!" + +"To surprise me!" Elfrida repeated in her absorption. +"Oh yes; very likely!" Inwardly she saw her garret, the +garret that so exhaled her, where she had tasted success +and knew a happiness that never altogether failed, vanish +into a snug cottage in Hampstead or Surbiton. She saw +the rain of her independence, of her delicious solitariness, +of the life that began and ended in her sense of the +strange, and the beautiful and the grotesque in a world +of curious slaveries, of which it suited her to be an +alien spectator, amused and free. She foresaw long +conflicts and discussions, pryings which she could, not +resent, justifications which would be forced upon her, +obligations which she must not refuse. More intolerable +still, she saw herself in the role of a family idol, the +household happiness hinging on her moods, the question +of her health, her work, her pleasure being eternally +the chief one. Miss Kimpsey talked on about other things +--Windsor Castle, the Abbey, the Queen's stables; and +Elfrida made occasional replies, politely vague. She was +mechanically twisting the little gold hoop on her wrist, +and thinking of the artistic sufferings of a family idol. +Obviously the only thing was to destroy the prospective +shrine. + +"We don't find board as cheap as we expected," Miss +Kimpsey was saying. + +"Living, that is food, is very expensive," Elfrida replied +quickly; "a good beefsteak, for instance, costs three +Francs--I mean two and fivepence, a pound." + +"I _can't_ think in shillings!" Miss Kimpsey interposed +plaintively. + +"And about this idea my people have of coming over +here--I've been living in London four months now, and I +can't quite see your grounds for thinking it cheaper than +Sparta, Miss Kimpsey." + +"Of course you have had time to judge of it." + +"Yes. On the whole I think they would find it more +expensive and much less satisfactory. They would miss +their friends, and their place in the little world over +there. My mother, I know, attaches a good deal of importance +to that. They would have to live very modestly in a +suburb, and all the nice suburbs have their social +relations in town. They wouldn't take the slightest +interest in English institutions; my father is too good +a citizen to make a good subject, and they would find a +great many English ideas very--trying. The only Americans +who are happy in England are the millionaires," Elfrida +answered. "I mean the millionaires who are not too +sensitive." + +"Well now, you've got as sensitive a nature as I know, +Miss Bell, and you don't appear to be miserable over +here." + +"I!" Elfrida frowned just perceptibly. This little creature +who once corrected the punctuation of her essays, and +gave her bad marks for spelling, was too intolerably +personal. "We won't consider my case, if you please. +Perhaps I'm not a good American." + +"Mrs. Bell seems to think she would enjoy the atmosphere +of the past so much in London." + +"It's a fatal atmosphere for asthma. Please impress that +upon my people, Miss Kimpsey. There would be no +justification in letting my mother believe she could be +comfortable here. She must come and experience the, +atmosphere of the past, as you are doing, on a visit. As +soon as it can be afforded I hope they will do that." + +Since the day of her engagement with the _Illustrated +Age_ Elfrida had been writing long, affectionate, and +prettily worded letters to her mother by every American +mail. They were models of sweet elegance, those letters; +they abounded in dainty bits of description and gay +comment, and they reflected as little of the real life +of the girl who wrote them as it is possible to conceive. +In this way they were quite remarkable, and in their +charming discrimination of topics. It was as if Elfrida +dictated that a certain relation should exist between +herself and her parents. It should acknowledge all the +traditions, but it should not be too intimate. They had +no such claim upon her, no such closeness to her, as +Nadie Palicsky, for instance, had. + +When Miss Kimpsey went away that afternoon, trying to +realize the intrinsic reward of virtue--she had been +obliged to give up the National Gallery to make this +visit--Elfrida remembered that the American mail went +out next day, and spent a longer time than usual over +her weekly letter. In its course she mentioned with some +amusement the absurd idea Miss Kimpsey had managed to +absorb of their coming to London to live, and touched in +the lightest possible way upon the considerations that +made such a project impossible. But the greater part of +the letter was taken up with a pleased forecast of the +time--could it possibly be next summer?--when Mr. and +Mrs. Bell would cross the Atlantic on a holiday trip. "I +will be quite an affluent person by then," Elfrida wrote, +"and I will be able to devote the whole of my magnificent +leisure to entertaining you." + +She turned from the sealing of this to answer a, note +from Lawrence Cardiff. He wrote to her, on odds and ends +of matters, almost as often as Janet did now. He wrote +as often, indeed, as he could, and always with an amused, +uncertain expectancy of what the consciously directed +little square envelopes which brought back the reply +would contain. It was becoming obvious to him that they +brought something a little different, in expression or +feeling or suggestion, from the notes that came for Janet, +which Janet often read out for their common benefit. He +was unable to define the difference, but he was aware +that it gave him pleasure, especially as he could not +find that it was in any way connected with the respectful +consideration that Elfrida might have thought due to his +forty-seven years. If Mr. Cardiff had gone so far as to +soliloquize upon the subject he would have said to himself, +"In my trade a man gets too much of that." I do not know +that he did, but the subtle gratification this difference +gave him was quite strong enough, at all events, to lead +to the reflection. The perception of it was growing so +vivid that he instinctively read his notes in silence, +paraphrasing them for Janet if she happened to be there. +They had, as it were, a bloom and a freshness, a mere +perfume of personality that would infallibly vanish in +the communicating, but that left him, as often as not, +when he slipped the note back into the envelope with a +half smile on his lips. + +Janet was conscious of the smile and of the paraphrasing. +In reprisal--though she would not have admitted it was +that--she kept her own missives from Elfrida to herself +whenever it occurred to her to check the generous impulse +of sharing the pleasure they gave her, which was not +often, after all. It was the seldomer because she could +not help feeling that her father was thoroughly aware of +her action, and fancying that he speculated upon the +reason of it. It was unendurable that daddy should +speculate about the reason of anything she did in connection +with Frida, or with any other young lady. Her conduct +was perfectly simple; there was no reason whatever why +it should not be perfectly simple. + +When Miss Kimpsey arrived at Euston Station next day, +with all her company, to take the train For Scotland; +she found Elfrida waiting for her, a picturesque figure +in the hurrying crowd with her hair blown about her face +with the gusts of wind and rain, and her wide dark eyes +looking quietly about her. She had a bunch of azaleas in +her hand, and as Miss Kimpsey was saying with gratification +that Elfrida's coming down to see her off was a thing +she did _not_ expect, Miss Bell offered her these. + +"They will be pleasant in the train perhaps," said she. +"And do you think you could find room for this in one of +your boxes? It isn't very bulky--a trifle I should like +so much to send to my mother, Miss Kimpsey. It might go +by post, I know, but the pleasure will be much greater +to her if you could take it." + +In due course Mrs. Bell received the packet. It contained +a delicate lace head-dress, which cost Elfrida the full +pay and emoluments of a fortnight. Mrs. Bell wore it at +all social gatherings of any importance in Sparta the +following winter, and often reflected with considerable +pleasure upon the taste and unselfishness that so obviously +accompanied the gift. + + + + +CHAPTER XVIII. + +If John Kendal had been an on-looker at the little episode +of Lady Halifax's drawing-room in Paris six months earlier +it would have filled him with the purest, amusement. He +would have added the circumstance to his conception of +the type of young woman who enacted it, and turned away +without stopping to consider whether it flattered her or +not. His comprehension of human nature was too catholic +very readily to permit him impressions either of wonder +or contempt--it would have been a matter of registration +and a smile. Realizing this, Kendal was the more at a +loss to explain to himself the feeling of irritation +which the recollection of the scene persistently aroused +in him, in spite of a pronounced disposition, of which +he could not help being aware, not to register it but to +ignore it. His memory refused to be a party to his +intention, and the tableau recurred to him with a +persistence which he found distinctly disagreeable. Upon +every social occasion which brought young ladies of beauty +and middle-aged gentlemen of impressive eminence into +conversational contact he saw the thing in imagination +done again. In the end it suggested itself to him as +paintable--the astonished drawing-room, the graceful +half-kneeling girl with the bent head, the other dismayed +and uncomprehending figure yielding a doubtful hand, his +discomfort indicated in the very lines of his waistcoat. +"_A Fin de Siecle Tribute_," Kendal named it. He dismissed +the idea as absurd, and then reconsidered it as a means +of disposing of the incident finally. He knew it could +be very effectually put away in canvas. He assured himself +again that he could not entertain the idea of painting +it seriously, and that this was because of the inevitable +tendency which the subject would have toward caricature. +Kendal had an indignant contempt for such a tendency, +and the liberty which men who used it took with their +art. He had never descended to the flouting of his own +aims which it implied. He threw himself into his pictures +without reserve; it was the best of him that he painted, +the strongest he could do, and all he could do; he was +sincere enough to take it always seriously. The possibility +of caricature seemed to him to account admirably for his +reluctance to paint "_A Fin de Siecle Tribute_,"--it +was a matter of conscience. He found that the desire to +paint it would not go, however; it took daily more complete +possession of him, and fought his scruples with a strong +hand. It was a fortnight after, and he had not seen +Elfrida in the meantime, when they were finally defeated +by the argument that a sketch would show whether caricature +were necessarily inherent or not. He would make a sketch +purely for his own satisfaction. Under the circumstances +Kendal realized perfectly that it could never be for +exhibition, and indeed he felt a singular shrinking from +the idea that any one should see it. Finally, he gave a +whole day to the thing, and made an admirable sketch. + +After that Kendal felt free to make the most of his +opportunities of seeing Elfrida--his irritation with her +subsided, her blunder had been settled to his satisfaction. +He had an obscure idea of having inflicted discipline +upon her in giving the incident form and color upon +canvas, in arresting its grotesqueness and sounding its +true _motif_ with a pictorial tongue. It was his conception +of the girl that he punished, and he let his fascinated +speculation go out to her afterward at a redoubled rate. +She brought him sometimes to the verge of approval, to +the edge of liking; arid when he found that he could not +take the further step he told himself impatiently that +it was not a case for anything so ordinary as approval, +or anything so personal as liking; it was a matter of +observation, enjoyment, stimulus. He availed himself of +these abstractions with a candor that was the more open +for not being complicated with any less hardy motive. He +had long ago decided that relations of sentiment with +Elfrida would require a temperament quite different from +that of any man he knew. It was entirely otherwise with +Janet Cardiff, and Kendal smiled as he thought of the +feminine variation the two girls illustrated. He had a +distinct recollection of one crisp October afternoon +before he went to Paris, as they walked home together +under the brown curling leaves and passed the Serpentine, +when he had found that the old charm of Janet's gray eyes +was changing to a new one. He remembered the pleasure he +had felt in dallying with the thought of making them +lustrous, one day, with tenderness for himself. It had +paled since then, there had been so many other things; +but still they were dear, honest eyes--and Kendal never +brought his reverie to a conclusion under any circumstances +whatever. + + + + +CHAPTER XIX. + +I have mentioned that Miss Bell had looked considerations +of sentiment very full in the face at an age when she +might have been expected to be blushing and quivering +before them, with downcast countenance. She had arrived +at conclusions about them--conclusions of philosophic +contumely, indifference, and some contempt. She had since +frequently talked about them to Janet Cardiff with curious +disregard of time, and circumstance, mentioning her +opinion in a Strand omnibus, for instance, that the only +dignity attaching to love as between a man and a woman +was that of an artistic idea. Janet had found Elfrida +possessed of so savage a literalism in this regard that +it was only in the most hardily adventurous of the moods +of investigation her friend inspired that she cared to +combat her here. It was not, Janet told herself, that +she was afraid to face the truth in any degree of nakedness; +but she rose in hot inward rebellion against Elfrida's +borrowed psychological cynicisms--they were not the truth, +Tolstoi had not all the facts, perhaps from pure Muscovite +inability to comprehend them all The spirituality of love +might be a western product--she was half inclined to +think it was; but at all events it existed, and it was +wanton to leave out of consideration a thing that made +all the difference. Moreover, if these things ought to +be probed--and Janet was not of serious opinion that they +ought to be--for her part she preferred to obtain advices +thereon from between admissible and respectable book-covers. +It hurt her to hear them drop from Elfrida's lips--lips +so plainly meant for all tenderness. Janet had an instinct +of helpless anger when she heard them; the woman in her +rose in protest, less on behalf of her sex than on behalf +of Elfrida herself, who seemed so blind, so willing to +revile, so anxious to reject. "Do you really hope you +will marry?" Elfrida had asked her once; and Janet had +answered candidly, "Of course I do, and I want to die a +grandmother too." "_Vraiment!_" exclaimed Miss Bell +ironically, with a little shudder of disgust, "I hope +you may!" + +That was in the very beginning of their friendship, +however, and so vital a subject could not remain, outside +the relations which established themselves more and more +intimately between them as the days went on. Janet began +to find herself constantly in the presence of a temptation +to bring the matter home to Elfrida personally in one +way or another, as young women commonly do with other +young women who are obstinately unorthodox in these +things--to say to her in effect, "Your turn will come +when _he_ comes! These pseudo-philosophies will vanish +when _he_ looks at them, like snow in spring. You will +succumb--you will succumb!" But she never did. Something +in Elfrida's attitude forbade it. Her opinions were not +vagaries, and she held them, so far as they had a personal +application, haughtily. Janet felt and disliked the tacit +limitation, and preferred to avoid the clash of their +opinions when she could. Besides, her own ideas upon the +subject had latterly retired irretrievably from the light +of discussion. She had one day found it necessary to lock +the door of her soul upon them; in the new knowledge that +had taken sweet possession of her she recognized that +they were no longer theoretical, that they must be put +away. She challenged herself to sit in a jury upon Love, +and found herself disqualified. + +The discovery had no remarkable effect upon Janet. She +sometimes wasted an hour, pen in hand, in inconsequent +reverie, and worked till midnight to make up; and she +took a great liking for impersonal conversations with +Miss Halifax about Kendal's pictures, methods and meanings. +She found dining in Royal Geographical circles less of +a bore than usual, and deliberately laid herself out to +talk well. She looked in the glass sometimes at a little +vertical line that seemed to be coming at the corners of +her mouth, and wondered whether at twenty-four one might +expect the first indication of approaching old-maidenhood. +When she was paler than usual she reflected that the +season was taking a good deal out of her. She was bravely +and rigidly commonplace with Kendal, who told her that +she ought to drop it and go out of town--she was not +looking well. She drew closer to her father, and at the +same time armed her secret against him at all points. +Janet would have had any one know rather than he. She +felt that it implied almost a breach of faith, of +comradeship, to say nothing of the complication of her +dignity, which she wanted upheld in his eyes before all +others. In reality she made him more the sovereign of +her affections and the censor of her relations than nature +designed Lawrence Cardiff to be in the parental connection. +It gave him great pleasure that he could make his daughter +a friend, and accord her the independence of a friend; +it was a satisfaction to him that she was not obtrusively +filial. Her feeling for Kendal, under the circumstances, +would have hurt him if he bad known of it, but only +through his sympathy and his affection--he was unacquainted +with the jealousy of a father. But in Janet's eyes they +made their little world together, indispensable to each +other as its imaginary hemispheres. She had a quiet pain, +in the infrequent moments when she allowed herself the +full realization of her love for Kendal, in the knowledge +that she, of her own motion, had disturbed its unities +and its ascendancies. + +Since that evening at Lady Halifax's, when Janet saw John +Kendal reddening so unaccountably, she had felt singularly +more tolerant of Elfrida's theories. She combated them +as vigorously as ever, but she lost her dislike to +discussing them. As it became more and more obvious that +Kendal found in Elfrida a reward for the considerable +amount of time he spent in her society, so Janet arrived +at the point of encouraging her heresies, especially with +their personal application. She took secret comfort in +them; she hoped they would not change, and she was too +honest to disguise to herself the reason. If Elfrida +cared for him, Janet assured herself, the case would be +entirely different--she would stamp out her own feeling +without mercy, to the tiniest spark. She would be glad, +in time, to have crushed it for Elfrida, though it did +seem that it would be more easily done for a stranger, +somebody she wouldn't have to know afterward. But if +Elfrida didn't care, as a matter of principle Janet was +unable to see the least harm in making her say so as +often as possible. They were talking together in Mr. +Cardiff's library late one June afternoon, when it seemed +to Janet that the crisis came, that she could never again +speak of such matters to Elfrida without betraying herself. +Things were growing dim about the room, the trees stood +in dusky groups in the square outside. There was the +white glimmer of the tea-things between them, and just +light enough to define the shadows round the other girl's +face, and write upon it the difference it bore, in Janet's +eyes, to every other face. + +"Oh!" Elfrida was saying, "it does make life more +interesting, I admit--up to a certain point. And I +suppose it's to be condoned from the point of view of +the species. Whoever started us, and wants us to go on, +excuses marriage, I suppose. And of course the men are +not affected by it. But for women, it is degrading +--horrible. Especially for women like you and me, to whom +life may mean something else. Fancy being the author of +babies when one could be the author of books! _Don't_ +tell me you'd rather!" + +"I!" said Janet "Oh, I'm out of it. But I approve the +principle." + +"Besides, the commonplaceness, the eternal routine, the +being tied together, the--the domestic virtues! It must +be death, absolute death, to any fineness of nature. No," +Elfrida went on decisively, "people with anything in them +that is worth saving may love as much as they feel +disposed, but they ought to keep their freedom. And some +of them do nowadays." + +"Do you mean," said Janet slowly, "that they dispense +with the ceremony?" + +"They dispense with the condition. They--they don't go +so far." + +"I thought you didn't believe in Platonics," Janet +answered, with wilful misunderstanding. + +"You know I don't believe in them. Any more," Elfrida +added lightly, "than I believe in this exaltation you +impute to the race of a passion it shares with--with the +mollusks. It's pure self-flattery." + +There was a moment's silence. Elfrida clasped her hands +behind her head and turned her face toward the window so +that all the light that came through softly gathered in +it. Janet felt the girl's beauty as if it were a burden, +pressing with literal physical weight upon her heart She +made a futile effort to lift it with words. "Frida," she +said, "you are beautiful to--to hurt to-night Why has +nobody ever painted a creature like you?" + +It was as if she touched an inner spring of the girl's +nature, touched it electrically. Elfrida leaned forward +consciously with shining eyes. "Truly am I, Janetta? +Ah--to-night! Well, yes, perhaps to-night, I am. It is +an effect of chiaroscuro. But what about always--what +about generally, Janetta? I have such horrid doubts. If +it weren't for my nose I should be satisfied--yes, I +think I should be satisfied. But I _can't_ deceive myself +about my nose, Janetta; it's thick!" + +"It isn't a particularly spiritually-minded nose," Janet +laughed. "But console yourself, it's thoughtful." + +Elfrida put her elbows on her knees and framed her face +with the palms of her hands. "If I am beautiful to-night +you ought to love me. Do you love me, Janetta? Really +_love_ me? Could you imagine," she went on, with a +whimsical spoiled shake of her head, "any one else doing +it?" + +Janet's fingers closed tightly on the arm of her chair. +Was it coming already, then? + +"Yes," she said slowly, "I could imagine it well." + +"More than one?" Elfrida insisted prettily. "More than +two or three? A dozen, perhaps?" + +"Quite a dozen," Janet smiled. "Is that to be the limit +of your heartless proceedings?" + +"I don't know how soon one would grow tired of it. Maybe +in three or four years. But for now--it is very amusing." + +"Playing with fire?" + +"Bah!" Elfrida returned, going back to her other mood. +"I'm not inflammable. But-to that extent, if you like, +I value what you and the poets are pleased to call love. +It's part of the game; one might as well play it all. +It's splendid to win--anything. It's a kind of success." + +"Oh, I know," she went on after an instant. "I have done +it before--I shall do it again, often! It is worth +doing--to sit within three feet of a human being who +would give all he possesses just to touch your hand--and +to tacitly dare him to do it." + +"Stop, Elfrida!" + +"Shan't stop, my dear. Not only to be able to check any +such demonstration yourself, with a movement, a glance, +a turn of your head, but without even a sign, to make +your would-be adorer check it himself! And to feel as +still and calm and superior to it all! Is that nothing +to you?" + +"It's less than nothing. It's hideous!" + +"I consider it a compensation vested in the few for the +wrongs of the many," Elfrida replied gaily. "And I mean +to store up all the compensation in my proper person that +I can." + +"I believe you have had more than your share already," +Janet cried. + +"Oh no! a little, only a little. Hardly anything +here--people fall in love in England in such a mathematical +way. But there is a callow artist on the _Age_, and +Golightly Ticke has become quite mad lately, and Solomon +--I mean Mr. Rattray--will propose next week--he thinks +I won't dare to refuse the sub-editor. How I shall laugh +at him! Afterward, if he gives me any trouble, I shall +threaten to write up the interview for the _Pictorial +News_. On the whole though, I dare say I'd better not +suggest such a thing; he would want it for the _Age_. +He is equal to any personal sacrifice for the _Age_." + +"Is, that all?" asked Janet, turning away her head. + +"You are thinking of John Kendal! Ah, there it becomes +exciting. From what you see, Janetta _mia_, what should +you _think?_ Myself, I don't quite know. Don't you find +him rather--a good deal--interested?" + +Janet had an impulse of thankfulness for the growing +darkness. "I--I see him so seldom!" she said. Oh, it was +the last time, the very last time that she would ever +let Elfrida talk like this. + +"Well, I think so," Elfrida went on coolly. "He fancies +he finds me curious, original, a type--just now. I dare +say he thinks he takes an anthropological pleasure in my +society! But in the beginning it is all the same thing, +my dear, and in the end it will be all the same thing. +This delicious Loti," and she picked up "Aziade"--"what +an anthropologist he is--with a feminine bias!" + +Janet was tongue-tied. She struggled with herself for an +instant, and then, "I _wish_ you'd stay and dine," she +said desperately. + +"How thoughtless of me!" Elfrida replied, jumping up. +"You ought to be dressing, dear. No, I can't; I've got to +sup with some ladies of the Alhambra to-night--it will make +such lovely copy. But I'll go now, this very instant." + +Half-way downstairs Janet, in a passion of helpless tears, +heard Elfrida's footsteps pause and turn. She stepped +swiftly into her own room and locked the door. The +footsteps came tripping back into, the library, and then +a tap sounded on Janet's door. Outside Elfrida's voice +said plaintively, "I had to come back. Do you love me--are +you quite sure you love me?" + +"You humbug!" Janet called from within, steadying heir +voice with an effort, "I'm not at all sure. I'll tell +you to-morrow!" + +"But you do!" cried Elfrida, departing. "I know you do." + + + + +CHAPTER XX. + +July thickened down upon London. The society papers +announced that with the exception of the few unfortunate +gentlemen who were compelled to stay and look after their +constituents' interests, at Westminster, "everybody" had +gone out of town, and filled up yawning columns with +detailed information as to everybody's destination. To +an inexperienced eye, with the point of view of the top +of an Uxbridge Road omnibus for instance, it might not +appear that London had diminished more than the extent +of a few powdered footmen on carriage boxes; but the +census of the London world is after all not to be taken +from the top of an Uxbridge Road omnibus. London teemed +emptily, the tall houses in the narrow lanes of Mayfair +slept standing, the sunlight filtered through a depressing +haze and stood still in the streets for hours together. +In the Park the policemen wooed the nursery-maids free +from the embarrassing smiling scrutiny of people to whom +this serious preoccupation is a diversion. The main +thoroughfares were full of "summer sales," St. Paul's +echoed to admiring Transatlantic criticism, and the +Bloomsbury boarding-houses to voluble Transatlantic +complaint. + +The Halifaxes were at Brighton, Lady Halifax giving +musical teas, Miss Halifax painting marine views in a +little book. Miss Halifax called them "impressions," and +always distributed them at the musical teas. The Cardiffs +had gone to Scotland for golf, and later on for grouse. +Janet was almost as expert on the links as her father, +and was on very familiar terms with a certain Highland +moor and one Donald Macleod. They had laid every compulsion +upon Elfrida to go with them, in vain; the girl's +sensitiveness on the point of money obligations was +intense, and Janet failed to measure it accurately when +she allowed herself to feel hurt that their relations +did not preclude the necessity for taking any thought as +to who paid. Elfrida staid, however, in her by-way of +Fleet Street, and did a little bit of excellent work for +the _Illustrated Age_ every day. If it had not been for +the editor-in-chief, Rattray would have extended her +scope on the paper; but the editor-in-chief said no, Miss +Bell was dangerous, there was no telling what she might +be up to if they gave her the reins. She went very well, +but she was all the better for the severest kind of a +bit. So Miss Bell wrote about colonial exhibitions and +popular spectacles, and country outings for babies of +the slums, and longed for a fairer field. As midsummer +came on there arrived a dearth in these objects of orthodox +interest, and Rattray told her she might submit "anything +on the nail" that occurred to her, in addition to such +work as the office could give her to do. Then, in spite +of the vigilance of the editor-in-chief, an odd +unconventional bit of writing crept now and then into +the _Age_--an interview with some eccentric notability +with the piquancy of a page from Gyp, a bit of pathos +picked out of the common, streets, a fragment of +character-drawing which smiled visibly and talked audibly. +Elfrida in her garret drew a joy from these things. She +cut them out and read them over and over again, and put +them sacredly away, with Nadie's letters and a manuscript +poem of a certain Bruynotin's, and a scrawl from one +Hakkoff, with a vigorous sketch of herself, from memory, +in pen and ink in the corner of the page, in the little +eastern-smelling wooden box which seemed to her to +represent the core of her existence. They quickened her +pulse, they gave her a curious uplifted happiness that +took absolutely no account of any other circumstance. + +There were days when Mrs. Jordan had real twinges of +conscience about the quality of Miss Bell's steak. "But +there," Mrs. Jordan would soothe herself, "I might bring +her the best sulline, and she wouldn't know no difference." +In other practical respects the girl was equally +indifferent. Her clothes were shabby, and she did not +seem to think of replacing them; Mrs. Jordan made +preposterous charges for candles, and she paid them +without question. She tipped people who did little services +for her with a kind of royal delicacy; the girl who +scrubbed the landings worshipped her, and the boy who +came every day for her copy once brought her a resplendent +"button-hole" consisting of two pink rosebuds and a +scarlet geranium, tendering it with a shy lie to the +effect that he had found it in the street. She went alone +now and again to the opera, taking an obscure place, and +she lived a good deal among the foreign art exhibitions +of Bond Street. Once she bought an etching and brought +it home under her arm. That kept her poor for a month, +though she would have been less aware of it if she had +not, before the month was out, wanted to buy another. A +great Parisian actress had made her yearly visit to London +in June, and Elfrida conjuring with the name of the +_Illustrated Age_, won an appointment from her. The +artiste staid only a fortnight--she declared that one +half of an English audience came to see her because it +was proper and the other because it was sinful, and she +found it insupportable--and in that time she asked Elfrida +three times to pay her morning visits, when she appeared +in her dressing-gown, little unconventional visits "_pour +bavarder_." When Miss Bell lacked entertainment during the +weeks that followed she thought of these visits, and little +smiles chased each other round the corners of her mouth. + +She wrote to Janet when she was in the mood--delicious +scraps of letters, broad-margined, fantastic, each, so +far as charm went, a little literary gem disguised in +wilfulness, in a picture, in a diamond-cut cynicism that +shone sharper and clearer for the "dainty affectation of +its setting." When she was not in the mood she did not +write at all. With an instinctive recognition of the +demands of any relation such as she felt her friendship +with Janet Cardiff to be, she simply refrained, from +imposing upon her anything that savored of dullness or +commonplaceness. So that sometimes she wrote three or +four times in a week and sometimes not at all for a +fortnight, sometimes covered pages and sometimes sent +three lines and a row of asterisks. There was a fancifulness +in the hour as well, that usually made itself felt all +through the letter--it was rainy twilight in her garret, +or a gray wideness was creeping up behind St Paul's, +which meant that it was morning. To what she herself was +actually doing, or to any material fact about her, they +made the very slightest reference. Janet, in Scotland, +perceived half of this, and felt aggrieved on the score +of the other half. She wished, more often than she said +she did, that Elfrida were a little more human, that she +had a more appreciative understanding of the warm value +of common every-day matters between people who were +interested in one another. The subtle imprisoned soul in +Elfrida's letters always spoke to hers, but Janet never +received so artistic a missive of three lines that she +did not wish it were longer, and she had no fund of +confidence to draw on to meet her friend's incomprehensible +spaces of silence. To cover her real soreness she scolded, +chaffed brusquely, affected lofty sarcasms. + +"Twelve days ago," she wrote, "you mentioned casually +that you were threatened with pneumonia; your communication +of to-day you devote to proving that Hector Malot is a +carpenter. I agree with you with reservations, but the +sequence worries me. In the meantime have you had the +pneumonia?" + +Her own letters were long and gossiping, full of the +scent of the heather and the eccentricities of Donald +Macleod; and she wrote them, regularly twice a week, +using rainy afternoons for the purpose and every inch of +the paper at her disposal. Elfrida put a very few of +them into the wooden box, just as she would have embalmed, +if she could, a very few of the half-hours they had spent +together. + + + + +CHAPTER XXI. + +John Kendal had turned the key upon his dusty work-room +in Bryanston Street among the first of those who, according +to the papers, depopulated London in July. He had an old +engagement to keep, which took him, with Carew of the +_Dial_ and Limley of the Civil Service, to explore and +fish in the Norwegian fjords. The project matured suddenly, +and he left town without seeing anybody--a necessity +which disturbed him a number of times on the voyage. He +wrote a hasty line to Janet, returning a borrowed book, +and sent a trivial message to Elfrida, whom he knew to +be spending a few days in Kensington Square at the time. +Janet delivered it with an intensity of quiet pleasure +which she showed extraordinary skill in concealing. "May +I ask you to say to Miss Bell--" seemed to her to be +eloquent of many things. She looked at Elfrida with +inquiry, in spite of herself, when she gave the message, +but Elfrida received it with a nod and a smile of perfect +indifference. "It is because she does not care--does not +care _an iota_," Janet told herself; and all that day it +seemed to her that Elfrida's personality was inexhaustibly +delightful. + +Afterward, however, one or two letters found their way +into the sandal-wood box, bearing the Norwegian postmark. +They came seldomer than Elfrida expected. "_Enfin!_" she +said when the first arrived, and she felt her pulse beat +a little faster as she opened it. She read it eagerly, +with serious lips, thinking how fine he was, and with +what exquisite force he brought himself to her as he +wrote. "I must be a very exceptional person," she said +in her reverie afterward, "to have such things written +to me. I must--I _must!_" Then as she put the letter away +she reflected that she couldn't amuse herself with Kendal +without treachery to their artistic relationship; there +would be somehow an outrage in it. And she would not +amuse herself with him; she would sacrifice that, and be +quite frank and simple always. So that when it came to +pass--here Elfrida retired into a lower depth of +consciousness--there would be only a little pity and a +little pain, and no reproach or regret. There was a delay +in the arrival of the next letter which Elfrida felt to +be unaccountable, a delay of nearly three weeks. She took +it with an odd rush of feeling from the hand of the +housemaid who brought it up, and locked herself in alone +with it. + +A few days later, driving through Bryanston Street in a +hansom, Elfrida saw the windows of Kendal's studio wide +open. She leaned forward to realize it with a little +tumult of excitement at the possibility it indicated, +half turned to bid the cabman stop, and rolled on undecided. +Presently she spoke to him. + +"Please go back to number sixty-three," she said, "I want +to get out there," and in a moment or two she was tripping +lightly up the stairs. + +Kendal, in his shirt-sleeves, with his back to the door, +was bending over a palette that clung obstinately to the +hardened round dabs of color he had left upon it six +weeks before. He threw it down at Elfrida's step, and +turned with a sudden light of pleasure in his face to +see her framed in the doorway, looking at him with an +odd shyness and silence. "You spirit!" he cried, "how +did you know I had come back?" and he held her hand for +just an appreciable instant, regarding her with simple +delight. Her tinge of embarrassment became her sweetly, +and the pleasure in his eyes made her almost instantly +aware of this. + +"I didn't know," she said, with a smile that shared his +feeling. "I saw the windows open, and I thought the woman +downstairs might be messing about here. They can do such +incalculable damage when they really set their minds to +it, these _concierge_ people. So I--I came up to interfere. +But it is you!" She looked at him with wide, happy eyes +which sent the satisfaction she found in saying that to +his inmost consciousness. + +"That was extremely good of you," he said, and in spite +of himself a certain emphasis crept into the commonplace. +"I hardly realize myself that I am here. It might very +well be the Skaagerak outside." + +"Does the sea in Norway sound like that?" Elfrida asked, +as the roar of London came across muffled from Piccadilly. +She made a tittle theatrical movement of her head to +listen, and Kendal's appreciation of it was so evident +that she failed to notice exactly what he answered. "You +have come back sooner than you intended?" + +"By a month." + +"Why!" she asked. Her eye made a soft bravado, but that +was lost. He did not guess for a moment that she believed +she knew why he had come. + +"It was necessary," he answered, with remembered gravity, +"in connection with the death of--of a relative, a granduncle +of mine. The old fellow went off suddenly last week, and +they telegraphed for me. I believe he wanted to see me, +poor old chap, but of course it was too late." + +"Oh!" said Elfrida gently, "that is very sad. Was it a +granduncle you were--fond of?" + +Kendal could not restrain a smile at her earnestness. + +"I was, in a way. He was a good old fellow, and he lived +to a great age--over ninety. He has left me all the duties +and responsibilities of his estate," Kendal went on, with +sudden gloom. "The Lord only knows what I'll do with +them." + +"That makes it sadder," said the girl. + +"I should think it did," Kendal replied; and then their +eyes met, and they laughed the healthy instinctive laugh +of youth when it is asked to mourn fatuously, which is +always a little cruel. + +"I hope," said Elfrida quickly, "that he has not saddled +you with a title. An estate is bad enough, but with a +title added it would ruin you. You would never do any +more good work, I am sure--sure. People would get at +you--you would take to rearing farm creatures from a +sense of duty--you might go into Parliament. Tell me +there is no title!" + +"How do you know all that?" Kendal exclaimed, laughing. +"But there is no title--never has been." + +Elfrida drew a long sigh of relief, and held him with +her eyes as if he had just been snatched away from, some +impending danger. "So now you are--what do you say in +this country?--a landed proprietor. You belong to the +country gentry. In America I used to read about the +country gentry in _London Society_--all the contributors +and all the subscribers to _London Society_ used to be +country gentry, I believe, from what I remember. They +were always riding to hounds, and having big Christmas +parties, and telling ghost stories about the family, +diamonds." + +"All very proper," Kendal protested against the irony of +her tone. + +"Oh, if one would be quite _sure_ that it will not make +any difference," Elfrida went on, clasping her knee with +her shapely gloved hands. "I should like--I should like +to beg you to make me a promise that you will never give +up your work--your splendid work!" She hesitated, and +looked at him almost with supplication. "But then why +should you make such a promise to _me!_" + +They were sitting opposite one another in the dusty +confusion of the room, and when she said this Kendal got +up and walked over to her, without knowing exactly why. + +"If I made such a promise," he said, looking down at her, +"it would be more binding given to you than to anybody +else--more binding and more sacred." + +If she had exacted it he would have promised then and +there, and he had some vague notion of sealing the vow +with his lips upon her hand, and of arranging--this was +more indefinite still--that she should always insist, in +her sweet personal way, upon its fulfilment. But Elfrida +felt the intensity in his voice with a kind of fear, not +of the situation--she had a nervous delight in the +situation--but of herself. She had a sudden terror in +his coming so close to her, in his changed voice, and +its sharpness lay in her recognition of it. Why should +she be frightened? She jumped up gaily with the question +still throbbing in her throat. + +"No," she cried, "you shall not promise me. I'll form a +solemn, committee of your friends--your real friends--and +we'll come some day and exact an oath from you, individually +and collectively. That will be much more impressive. I +must go now," she went on reproachfully, "and you have +shown me nothing that you've brought back with you. Is +there anything here?" In her anxiety to put space between +them she bad walked to the furthest and untidiest corner +of the room, where half a dozen canvases leaned with +their faces to the wall. + +Kendal watched her, tilt them forward one after another +with a kind or sick impotence. + +"Absolutely nothing!" he cried. + +But it was too late--she had paused in her running +commentary on the pictures, she was standing looking, +absolutely silent, at the last but one. She had come upon +it--she had found it--his sketch of the scene in Lady +Halifax's drawing-room. + +"Oh yes, there is something!" she said at last, carefully +drawing it out and holding it at arm's length. "Something +that is quite new to me. Do you mind if I put it in a +better light?" Her voice had wonderfully changed; it +expressed a curious interest and self-control. In effect +that was all she felt for the moment; she had a dull +consciousness of a blow, but did not yet quite understand +being struck. She was gathering herself together as she +looked, growing conscious of her hurt and of her resentment. +Kendal was silent, cursing himself inwardly for not having +destroyed the thing the day after he had let himself do it. + +"Yes," she said, placing it on an easel at an oblique +angle with the north window of the room, "it is better so." + +She stepped back a few paces to look at it, and stood +immovable, searching every detail. "It does you credit," +she said slowly; "immense credit. Oh, it is very clever!" + +"Forgive me," Kendal said, taking a step toward her. "I +am afraid it doesn't But I never intended you to see it." + +"Is it an order?" she asked calmly. "Ah, but that would +not have been fair--not to show it to me first!" + +Kendal crimsoned. "I beg," he said earnestly, "that you +will not think such a thing possible. I intended to +destroy it--I don't know why I have not destroyed it!" + +"But why? It is so good, so charming, so--so _true!_ You +did it for your own amusement, then! But that was very +selfish." + +For answer Kendal caught up a tube of Indian red, squeezed +it on the crusted palette, loaded a brush with it, and +dashed it across the sketch. It was a feeble piece of +bravado, and he felt it, but he must convince her in some +way that the thing was worthless to him. + +"Ah," she said, "that is a pity!" and she walked to +the door. She must get away, quite away, and quickly, to +realize this, thing, and find out exactly what it meant +to her. And yet, three steps down the stairs she turned +and came back again. John Kendal stood where, she had +left him, staring at the sketch on the easel. + +"I have come back to thank you," Elfrida said quickly, +"for showing me what a fool I made of myself," and she +was gone. + +An hour later Kendal had not ceased to belabor himself; +but the contemplation of the sketch--he had not looked +at it for two months--brought him to the conclusion that +perhaps, after all, it might have some salutary effect. +He found himself so curiously sore about it though, so +thoroughly inclined, to brand himself a traitor and a +person without obligation, that he went back to Norway +the following week--a course which left a number of worthy +people in the neighborhood of Bigton, Devonshire, very +indignant indeed. + + + + +CHAPTER XXII. + +"Daddy," Janet said to her father a few days after their +return to town; "I've been thinking that we might--that +you might--be of use in helping Frida to place something +somewhere else than in that eternal picture paper." + +"For instance?" + +"Oh, in _Peterson's_, or the _London Magazine_, or +_Piccadilly_." + +It was in the library after dinner, and Lawrence Cardiff +was smoking. He took the slender stem of his pipe from +his lips and pressed down the tobacco in the bowl with +a, caressing thumb, looking appreciatively, as he did +it, at the mocking buffoon's face that was carved on it. + +"It seems to me that you are the influential person in +those quarters," he said, with the smile that Janet +privately thought the most delightfully sympathetic she +knew. + +"Oh, I'm not really!" the girl answered quickly; "and +besides--" she hesitated, to pick words that would hurt +her as little as possible--"besides, Frida wouldn't care +about my doing it." + +"Why?" + +"I don't know quite why. But she wouldn't--it's of no +use. I don't think she likes having things done for her +by people anything like her own age, and--and standing." + +Cardiff smiled inwardly at this small insincerity. +Janet's relation with Elfrida was a growing pleasure to +him. He found himself doing little things to enhance it, +and fancying himself in some way connected with its +initiation. + +"But I'm almost certain she would let you do it," his +daughter urged. + +"_In loco parentis_," Cardiff smiled, and immediately +found that the words left an unpleasant taste in his +mouth. "But I'm not at all sure that she could do anything +they would take." + +"My dear daddy!" cried Janet resentfully. "Wait till she +tries! You said yourself that some of those scraps she +sent us in Scotland were delicious." + +"So they were. She has a curious, prismatic kind of +mind--" + +"Soul, daddy." + +"Soul, if you like. It reflects quite wonderfully, the +angles at which it finds itself with the world are so +unusual. But I doubt her power, you know, of construction +or cohesion, or anything of that kind." + +"I don't," Janet returned confidently. "But talk to her +about it, daddy; get her to show you what she's done--I +never see a line till it's in print. And--I don't know +anything about it, you know. Above all things, don't +let her guess that I suggested it." + +"I'll see what can be done," Mr. Cardiff returned, "though +I profess myself faithless. Elfrida wasn't designed to +please the public of the magazines--in England." + +When Janet reflected afterward upon what had struck her +as being odd about this remark of her father's, she found +it was Elfrida's name. It seemed to have escaped him; he +had never referred to her in that way before--which was +a wonder, Janet assured herself, considering how constantly +he heard it from her lips. + +"How does the novel come on?" Mr. Cardiff asked before +she went to bed that night. "When am I to be allowed to +see the proofs?" + +"I finished the nineteenth chapter yesterday," Janet +answered, flushing. "It will only run to about twenty-three. +It's a very little one, daddy." + +"Still nobody in the secret but Lash and Black?" + +"Not a soul I hope they're the right people," Janet said +anxiously. "I haven't even told Elfrida," she added. "I +want to surprise her with an early copy. She'll like it, +I think. I like it pretty well myself. It has an effective +leading idea." + +Her father laughed, and threw her a line of Horace which +she did not understand. "Don't let it take too much time +from your other work," he warned her. "It's sure, you +know, to be an arrant imitation of somebody, while in +your other things you have never been anybody but yourself." +He looked at her in a way that disarmed his words, and +went back to his _Revue Bleue_. + +"Dear old thing! You want to prepare me for anything, +don't you? I wonder whom I've imitated! Hardy, I think, +most of all--but then it's such a ludicrously far-away +imitation! If there's nothing in the thing but _that_, +it deserves to fall as flat as flat. But there is, +daddy!" + +Cardiff laid down his journal again at the appealing +note. + +"No!" she cried, "I won't bore you with it now; wait till +the proofs come. Good-night!" She kissed him lightly on +the cheek. "About Elfrida," she added, still bending +over him. "You'll be very careful, won't you, daddy +dear--not to hurt her feelings in any way, I mean?" + +After she had gone, Lawrence Cardiff laid down the _Revue_ +again and smoked meditatively for half an hour. During +that time he revolved at least five subjects which he +thought Elfrida, with proper supervision, might treat +effectively. But the supervision would be very necessary. + +A fortnight later Mr. Cardiff sat in the same chair, +smoking the same pipe, and alternately frowned and smiled +upon the result of that evening's meditation. It had +reached him by post in the afternoon without an accompanying +word; the exquisite self-conscious manuscript seemed to +breathe a subdued defiance at him, with the merest ghost +of a perfume that Cardiff liked better. Once or twice he +held the pages closer to his face to catch it more +perfectly. + +Janet had not mentioned the matter to him again; indeed, +she had hardly thought of it. Her whole nature was absorbed +in her fight with herself, in the struggle for self-control, +which had ceased to come to the surface of her life at +intervals, and had now become constant and supreme with +her. Kendal had made it harder for her lately by continually +talking of Elfrida. He brought his interest in her to +Janet to discuss as he naturally brought everything that +touched him to her, and Janet, believing it to be a +lover's pleasure, could not forbid him. When he criticised +Elfrida, Janet fancied it was to hear her warm defence, +which grew oddly reckless in her anxiety to hide the +bitterness that tinged it. + +"Otherwise," she permitted herself to reflect, "he is +curiously just in his analysis of her--for a man," and +hated the thought for its touch of disloyalty. + +Knowing Elfrida as she thought she knew her, Kendal's +talk wounded her once for herself and twice for him. He +was going on blindly, confidently, trusting, Janet thought +bitterly, to his own sweetness of nature, to his comeliness +and the fineness of his sympathies--who had ever refused +him anything yet? And only to his hurt, to his repulse--from +the point of view of sentiment, to his ruin. For it did +not seem possible to Janet that a hopeless passion for +a being like Elfrida Bell could result in anything but +collapse. Whenever he came to Kensington Square, and he +came often, she went down to meet him with a quaking +heart, and sought his face nervously for the haggard, +broken look which should mean that he had asked Elfrida +to marry him and been artistically refused. Always she +looked in vain; indeed, Kendal's spirits were so uniformly +like a schoolboy's that once or twice she asked herself, +with sudden terror, whether Elfrida had deceived +her--whether it might not be otherwise between them, +recognizing then, with infinite humiliation, how much +worse that would be. She took to working extravagantly +hard, and Elfrida noticed with distinct pleasure how much +warmer her manner had grown, and in how many pretty ways +she showed her enthusiasm. Janet was such a conquest! +Once when Kendal seemed to Janet on the point of asking +her what she thought of his chances, she went to a +florist's in the High, and sent Elfrida a pot of snowy +chrysanthemums, after which she allowed herself to refrain +from seeing her for a week. Her talk with her father +about helping Elfrida to place her work with the magazines +had been one of the constant impulses by which she tried +to compensate her friend, as it were, for the amount of +suffering that young woman was inflicting upon her--she +would have found a difficulty in explaining it more +intelligibly than that. + +As he settled together the pages of Miss Bell's article +on "The Nemesis of Romanticism" and laid them on the +table, Lawrence Cardiff thought, of it with sincere +regret. + +"It is hopeless--hopeless," he said to himself. "It must +be rewritten from end to end. I suppose she must do it +herself," he added, with a smile that he drew from some +memory of her, and he pulled writing materials toward +him to tell her so. Re-reading his brief note, he frowned, +hesitated, and tore it up. The next followed it into the +waste-paper basket. The third gave Elfrida gently to +understand that in Mr. Cardiff's opinion the article was +a little unbalanced--she would remember her demand that +he should be absolutely frank. She had made some delightful +points, but there was a lack of plan and symmetry. If +she would give him the opportunity he would be very happy +to go over it with her, and possibly she would make a +few changes. More than this Cardiff could not induce +himself to say. And he would await her answer before +sending the article back to her. + +It came next day, and in response to it Mr. Cardiff +found himself walking, with singular lightness of step, +toward Fleet Street in the afternoon with Elfrida's +manuscript in his pocket. Buddha smiled more inscrutably +than ever as they went over it together, while the water +hissed in the samovar in the corner, and little blue +flames chased themselves in and out of the anthracite in +the grate, and the queer Orientalism of the little room +made its picturesque appeal to Cardiff's senses. He had +never been there before. + +From beginning to end they went over the manuscript, he +criticising and suggesting, she gravely listening, and +insatiately spurring him on. + +"You may say anything," she declared. "The sharper it is +the better, you know, for me. Please don't be polite--be +savage!" and he did his best to comply. + +She would not always be convinced; he had to leave some +points unvanquished; but in the main she agreed and was +grateful. She would remodel the article, she told him, +and she would remember all that he had said. Cardiff +found her recognition of the trouble he had taken +delightful; it was nothing, he declared; he hoped very +particularly that she would let him be of use, if possible, +often again. He felt an inexplicable jar when she suddenly +said, "Did you ever do anything--of this sort--for Janet?" +and he was obliged to reply that he never did--her look +of disappointment was so keen. "She thought," he reflected, +"that I hoisted Janet into literature, and could be +utilized again perhaps," in which he did her injustice. +But he lingered over his tea, and when he took her hand +to bid her good-by he looked down at her and said, "Was +I very brutal?" in a way which amused Her for quite half +an hour after he had gone. + +Cardiff sent the amended article to the _London Magazine_ +with qualms. It was so unsuitable even then, that he +hardly expected his name to do much for it, and the +half-hour he devoted to persuading his literary conscience +to let him send it was very uncomfortable indeed. Privately +he thought any journalist would be rather an ass to print +it, yet he sincerely hoped the editor of the _London +Magazine_ would prove himself such an ass. He selected +the _London Magazine_ because it seemed to him that the +quality of its matter had lately been slightly +deteriorating. A few days later, when he dropped in at +the office, impatient at the delay, to ask the fate of +the article, he was distinctly, disappointed to find that +the editor had failed to approach it in the character he +had mentally assigned to him. That gentleman took the +manuscript out of the left-hand drawer of his writing-table, +and fingered, the pages over with a kind of disparaging +consideration before handing it back, + +"I'm very sorry, Cardiff, but we can't do anything with +this, I'm afraid. We have--we have one or two things +covering the same ground already in hand." + +And he looked at his visitor with some curiosity. It +was a queer article to have come through Lawrence Cardiff. + +Cardiff resented the look more than the rejection. "It's +of no consequence, thanks," he said drily. "Very good +of you to look at it. But you print a great deal worse +stuff, you know." + +His private reflection was different, however, and led +him to devote the following evening to making certain +additions to the sense and alterations in the style of +Elfrida's views on "The Nemesis of Romanticism," which +enabled him to say, at about one o'clock in the morning, +"_Enfin!_ It is passable!" He took it to Elfrida on his +way from his lecture next day. She met him at the door +of her attic with expectant eyes; she was certain of +success. + +"Have they taken it?" she cried. "Tell me quick, quick!" + +When he said no--the editor of the _London Magazine_ had +shown himself an idiot--he was very sorry, but they would +try again, he thought she was going to cry. But her face +changed as he went on, telling her frankly what he thought, +and showing her what he had done. + +"I've' only improved it for the benefit of the Philistines," +he said apathetically. "I hope you will forgive me." + +"And now," she said at last, with a little hard air, +"what do you propose?" + +"I propose that if you approve these trifling alterations, +we send the article to the _British Review_. And they +are certain to take it." + +Elfrida held out her hand for the manuscript, and he gave +it to her. She looked at every page again. It was at +least half re-written in Cardiff's small, cramped hand. + +"Thank-you," she said slowly. "Thank-you very much. I +have learned a great deal, I think, from what you have +been kind enough to tell me, and to write here. But this, +of course, so far as I am concerned in it, is a failure." + +"Oh no!" he protested. + +"An utter failure," she went on unnoticingly, "and it +has served its purpose. There!" she cried with sudden +passion, and in an instant the manuscript was flaming in +the grate. + +"Please--please go away," she sobbed, leaning the mantel +in a sudden betrayal of tears; Cardiff, resisting the +temptation to take her in his arms and bid her be comforted, +went. + + + + +CHAPTER XXIII. + +Mr. Rattray's proposal occurred as soon after the close +of the season as he was able to find time to devote the +amount of attention to it which he felt it required. He +put it off deliberately till then, fearing that it might +entail a degree of mental agitation on his part that +would have an undesirable reflex action upon the paper. +Mr. Rattray had never been really attracted toward +matrimony before, although he had taken, in a discussion +in the columns of the _Age_ upon the careworn query, "Is +Marriage a Failure?" a vigorous negative side under +various pen-names which argued not only inclination, but +experience. He felt, therefore, that he could not possibly +predicate anything of himself under the circumstances, +and that it would be distinctly the part of wisdom to +wait until there was less going on. Mr. Rattray had an +indefinite idea that in case of a rejection he might find +it necessary to go out of town for some weeks to pull +himself together again--it was the traditional course--and +if such an exigency occurred before July the office would +go to pieces under the pressure of events. So he waited, +becoming every day more enthusiastically aware of the +great advantage of having Miss Bell permanently connected +with the paper under supervision which would be even more +highly authorized than an editor's, and growing at the +same time more thoroughly impressed with the unusual +character of her personal charm. Elfrida was a "find" to +Mr. Arthur Rattray from a newspaper point of view--a +find he gave himself credit for sagaciously recognizing, +and one which it would be expedient to obtain complete +possession of before its market value should become known. +And it was hardly possible for Mr. Rattray to divest +himself of the newspaper point of view in the consideration +of anything which concerned him personally. It struck +him as uniquely fortunate that his own advantage and that +of the _Age_ should tally, as it undoubtedly might in +this instance; and that, for Arthur Rattray, was putting +the matter in a rather high, almost disinterested +connection. + +It is doubtful whether to this day Mr. Rattray fully +understands his rejection, it was done so deftly, so +frankly, yet with such a delicate consideration for his +feelings. He took it, he assured himself afterward, +without winking; but it is unlikely that he felt +sufficiently indebted to the manner of its administration, +in congratulating himself upon this point. It may be, +too, that he left Miss Bell with the impression that her +intention never to marry was not an immovable one, given +indefinite time and indefinite abstention, on his part, +from alluding to the subject. Certainly he found himself +surprisingly little cast down by the event, and more +resolved than ever to make the editor-in-chief admit that +Elfrida's contributions were "the brightest things in +the paper," and act accordingly. He realized, in the +course of time, that he had never been very confident of +any other answer; but nothing is more certain than that +it acted as a curious stimulus to his interest in Elfrida's +work. He found a co-enthusiast in Golightly Ticke, and +on more than one occasion they agreed that something, +must be done to bring Miss Bell before the public, to +put within her reach the opportunity of the success she +deserved, which was of the order Mr. Rattray described +as "screaming." + +"So far as the booming is concerned," said Mr. Rattray +to Mr. Ticke, "I will attend to that; but there must be +something to boom. We can't sound the loud tocsin on a +lot of our own paras. She must do something that will go +between two covers." + +The men were talking in Golightly's room over easeful +Sunday afternoon cigars; and as Rattray spoke they heard +a light step mount the stairs. "There she is now," +replied Ticke. "Suppose we go up and propose it to her?" + +"I wish I knew what to suggest," Rattray returned; "but +we might talk it over with her--when she's had time to +take off her bonnet." + +Ten minutes later Elfrida was laughing at their ambitions. +"A success?" she exclaimed. "Oh yes! I mean to have a +success--one day! But not yet--oh no! First I must learn +to write a line decently, then a paragraph, then a page. +I must wait, oh, a very long time--ten years perhaps. +Five, anyway." + +"Oh, if you do that," protested Golightly Ticke, "it will +be like decanted champagne. A success at nineteen--" + +"Twenty-one," corrected Elfrida. + +"Twenty-one if you like--is a sparkling success. A +success at thirty-one is--well, it lacks the accompaniments." + +"You are a great deal too exacting, Miss Bell," Rattray +put in; "those things you do for us are charming, you +know they are." + +"You are very good to say so. I'm afraid they're only +frivolous scraps." + +"My opinion is this," Rattray went on sturdily. "You +only want material. Nobody can make bricks without +straw--to sell--and very few people can evolve books out +of the air that any publisher will look at it. You get +material for your scraps, and you treat it unconventionally, +so the scraps supply a demand. It's a demand that's +increasing every day--for fresh, unconventional matter. +Your ability to treat the scraps proves your ability to +do more sustained work if you could find it. Get the +material for a book, and I'll guarantee you'll do it +well." + +Elfrida looked from one to the other with bright eyes. +"What do you suggest?" she said, with a nervous little +laugh. She had forgotten that she meant to wait ten years. + +"That's precisely the difficulty," said Golightly, running +his fingers through his hair. + +"We must get hold of something," said Rattray. "You've +never thought of doing a novel?" + +Elfrida shook her head decidedly. "Not now," she said. +"I would not dare. I haven't looked at life long +enough--I've had hardly any experience at all. I couldn't +conceive a single character with any force or completeness. +And then for a novel one wants a leading idea--the plot, +of course, is of no particular consequence. Rather I +should say plots have merged into leading ideas; and I +have none." + +"Oh, distinctly!" observed Mr. Ticke finely. "A plot is +as vulgar at this end of the century as a--as a dress +improver, to take a feminine simile." + +Rattray looked seriously uncomprehending, and slowly +scratched the back of his hand. "Couldn't you find a +leading idea in some of the modern movements," he asked +--"in the higher education of women, for instance, or +the suffrage agitation?" + +"Or University Extension, or Bimetallism, or Eight Hours' +Labor, or Disestablishment!" Elfrida laughed. "No, Mr. +Rattray, I don't think I could. + +"I might do some essays," she suggested. + +Rattray, tilting his chair back, with his forefingers in +the arm-holes of his waistcoat, pursed his lips "We +couldn't get them read," he said. "It takes a +well-established reputation to carry essays. People will +stand them from a Lang or a Stevenson or that 'Obiter +Dicta' fellow--not from an unknown young lady." + +Elfrida bit her lip. "Of course I am not any of those." + +"Miss Bell has done some idyllic verse," volunteered +Golightly. + +The girl looked at him with serious reprobation. "I did +not give you permission to say that," she said gravely. + +"No--forgive me!--but it's true, Rattray." He searched +in his breast pocket and brought out a diminutive +pocket-book. "May I show those two little things I copied?" +he begged, selecting a folded sheet of letter-paper from +its contents. "This is serious, you know, really. We must +go into all the chances." + +Elfrida had a pang of physical distress. + +"Oh," she said hastily, "Mr. Rattray will not care to +see those. They weren't written for the _Age_, you know," +she added, forcing a smile. + +But Rattray declared that he should like it above all +things, and looked the scraps gloomily over. One Elfrida +had called "A Street Minstrel." Seeing him unresponsive, +Golightly read it gracefully aloud. + + "One late November afternoon + I sudden heard a gentle rune. + + "I could not see whence came the song, + But, tranced, stopped and listened long; + + "And that drear month gave place to May, + And all the city slipped away. + + "The coal-carts ceased their din,--instead + I heard a bluebird overhead; + + "The pavements, black with dismal rain, + Grew greenly to a country lane. + + "Plainly as I see you, my friend, + I saw the lilacs sway and bend, + + "A blossoming apple-orchard where + The chimneys, fret the foggy air, + + "And wide mown fields of clover sweet + Sent up their fragrance at my feet, + + "And once again dear Phyllis sat + The thorn beneath, and trimmed her hat. + + * * * * * * * * + + "Long looked I for my wizard bard-- + I found him on the boulevard. + + "And now my urban hearth he cheers, + Singing all day of sylvan years, + + "Right thankful for the warmer spot-- + A cricket, by July forgot!" + +Ticke looked inquiringly at Rattray when he had finished. +Elfrida turned away her head, and tapped the floor +impatiently with her foot. + +"Isn't that dainty?" demanded Golightly. + +"Dainty enough," Rattray responded, with a bored air. +"But you can't read it to the public, you know. Poetry +is out of the question. Poetry takes genius." + +Golightly and Elfrida looked at each other sympathetically. +Mr. Ticke's eyes said, "How hideously we are making you +suffer," and Elfrida's conveyed a tacit reproach. + +"Travels would do better," Rattray went on. "There's no +end of a market for anything new in travels. Go on a +walking tour through Spain, by yourself, disguised as a +nun or something, and write about what you see." + +Elfrida flushed with pleasure at the reckless idea. A +score of situations rose before her thrilling, dangerous, +picturesque, with a beautiful nun in the foreground. "I +should like it above all things," she said, "but I have +no money." + +"I'm afraid it would take a good deal," Rattray returned. + +"That's a pity." + +"It disposes of the question of travelling, though, for +the present," and Elfrida sighed with real regret. + +"It's your turn, Ticke. Suggest something," Rattray went +on. "It must be unusual and it must be interesting. Miss +Bell must do something that no young lady has done before. +That much she must concede to the trade. Granting that, +the more artistically she does it the better." + +"I should agree to that compromise," said Elfrida eagerly. +"Anything to be left with a free hand." + +"The book should be copiously illustrated," continued +Rattray, "and the illustrations should draw their interest +from you personally." + +"I don't think I should mind that." + +Her imagination was busy at a bound with press criticisms, +pirated American editions, newspaper paragraphs describing +the color of her hair, letters from great magazines asking +for contributions. It leaped with a fierce joy at the +picture of Janet reading these paragraphs, and knowing, +whether she gave or withheld her own approval, that the +world had pronounced in favor of Elfrida Bell. She wrote +the simple note with which she would send a copy to +Kendal, and somewhere in the book there would be things +which he would feel so exquisitely that--The cover should +have a French design and be the palest yellow. There was +a moment's silence while she thought of these things, +her knee clasped in her hands, her eyes blindly searching +the dull red squares of the Llassa prayer-carpet. + +"Rattray," said Golightly, with a suddenness that made +both the others look up expectantly, "could Miss Bell do +her present work for the _Age_ anywhere?" + +"Just now I think it's mostly book reviews--isn't it?--and +comments on odds and ends in the papers of interest to +ladies. Yes--not quite so well out of London; but I dare +say it could be done pretty much anywhere, reasonably +near." + +"Then," replied Golightly Ticke, with a repressed and +guarded air, "I think I've got it." + + + + +CHAPTER XXIV. + +Three days later a note from Miss Cardiff in Kensington +Square to Miss Bell in Essex Court, Fleet Street, came +back unopened. A slanting line in very violet ink along +the top read "_Out of town for the pressent. M. Jordan._" +Janet examined the line carefully, but could extract +nothing further from it except that it had been written +with extreme care, by a person of limited education and +a taste for color. It occurred to her, in addition, that +the person's name was probably Mary. + +Elfrida's actions had come to have a curious importance +to Janet; she realized how great an importance with the +access of irritated surprise which came to her with, this +unopened note. In the beginning she had found Elfrida's +passionate admiration so novel and so sweet that her +heart was half won before they came, together in completer +intimacy, and she gave her new original friend a meed of +affection which seemed to strengthen as it instinctively +felt itself unreturned--at least in kind. Elfrida +retracted none of her admiration, and she added to it, +when she ceded her sympathy, the freedom of a fortified +city; but Janet hungered for more. Inwardly she cried +out for the something warm and human that was lacking to +Elfrida's feeling for her, and sometimes she asked herself +with grieved cynicism how her friend found it worth while +to pretend to care so cleverly. More than once she had +written to Elfrida with the deliberate purpose of soothing +herself by provoking some tenderness in reply, and +invariably the key she had struck had been that of homage, +more or less whimsically unwilling. "_Don't_ write such +delicious things to me, _ma mie_," would come the answer. +"You make me curl up with envy. What shall I do if malice +and all uncharitableness follow? I admire you so +horribly--there!" Janet told herself sorely that she was +sick of Elfrida's admiration--it was not the stuff +friendships were made of. And a keener pang supervened +when she noticed that whatever savored most of an admiration +on her own part had obviously the highest value for her +friend. The thought of Kendal only heightened her feeling +about Elfrida. She would be so much the stronger, she +thought, to resist any--any strain--if she could be +quite certain how much Elfrida cared--cared about her +personally. Besides, the indictment that she, Janet, had +against her seemed to make the girl's affection absolutely +indispensable. And now Elfrida had apparently left London +without a word. She had dined in Kensington Square the +night before, and this was eleven o'clock in the morning. +It looked very much as if she had deliberately intended +to leave them in the dark as to her movements. People +didn't go out of town indefinitely "for the present," on +an hour's notice. The thought brought sudden tears to +Janet's eyes, which she winked back angrily. "I am getting +to be a perfect old maid!" she reflected. "Why shouldn't +Frida go to Kamschatka, if she wants to, without giving +us notice? It's only her eccentric way of doing things." +And she frowned upon, her sudden resolution to rush off +to Fleet Street in a cab and inquire of Mrs. Jordan. It +would be espionage. She would wait, quit calmly and +indefinitely, till Frida chose to write, and then she +would treat the escapade, whatever it was, with the +perfect understanding of good-fellowship. Or perhaps not +indefinitely--for two or three days--it was just possible +that Frida might have had bad news and started suddenly +for America by the early tram to Liverpool, in which case +she might easily not have had time to write. But in that +case would not Mrs. Jordan have written "Gone to America"? +Her heart stood still with another thought--could she +have gone with Kendal? Granting that she had made up her +mind to marry him, it would be just Elfrida's strange, +sensational way. Janet walked the floor in a restless +agony, mechanically tearing the note into little, strips. +She must know--she must find out. She would write and +ask him for something--for what? A book, a paper--the +_New Monthly_, and she must have some particular reason. +She sat down to write, and pressed her fingers upon her +throbbing eyes in the effort to summon a particular +reason. It was as far from her as ever when the maid +knocked and came in with a note from Kendal asking them +to go to see Miss Rehan in "As You Like It" that evening +--a note fragrant of tobacco, not an hour old. + +"You needn't wait, Jessie," she said. "I'll send an answer +later;" and the maid had hardly left the room before +Janet was sobbing silently and helplessly with her head +on the table. As the day passed however, Elfrida's conduct +seemed less unforgivable, and by dinner-time she was able +to talk of it with simple wonder, which became more +tolerant still in the course of the evening, when she +discovered that Kendal was as ignorant and as astonished +as they themselves. + +"She will write," Janet said hopefully; but a week passed +and Elfrida did not write. A settled disquietude began +to make itself felt between the Cardiffs. Accepting each +other's silence for the statement that Elfrida had sent +no word, they ceased to talk of her--as a topic her +departure had become painful to both of them. Janet's +anxiety finally conquered her scruples, and she betook +herself to Essex Court to inquire of Mrs. Jordan. That +lady was provokingly mysterious, and made the difficulty +of ascertaining that she knew nothing whatever about Miss +Bell's movements as great as possible. Janet saw an +acquaintance with some collateral circumstance in her +eyes, however, and was just turning away irritated by +her vain attempts to obtain it, when Mrs. Jordan, decided +that the pleasure of the revelation would be, after all, +greater than the pleasure of shielding the facts. + +"Wether it 'as anything to do with Miss Bell or not, of +course I can't say," Mrs. Jordan remarked, with +conscientious hypocrisy, "but Mr. Ticke, _he_ left town +that same mornin'." She looked disappointed when Miss +Cardiff received this important detail indifferently. + +"Oh, nothing whatever," Janet replied, with additional +annoyance that Elfrida should have subjected herself to +such an insinuation. Janet had a thoroughgoing dislike +to Golightly Ticke. On her way back in the omnibus she +reflected on the coincidence, however, and in the end +she did not mention it to her father. + +The next day Lawrence Cardiff went to the _Age_ office +and had the good fortune to see Mr. Rattray, who was +flattered to answer questions regarding Miss Bell's +whereabouts, put by any one he knew to be a friend. Mr. +Rattray undertook to apologize for their not hearing of +the scheme, it had matured so suddenly. Miss Bell couldn't +really have had time to do more than pack and start; in +fact, there had been only three days in which to make +all the arrangements. And of course the facts were +confidential, but there was no reason why Miss Bell's +friends should not be in the secret. Then Mr. Rattray +imparted the facts, with a certain conscious gratification. +There had been difficulties, but the difficulties had +been surmounted, and he had heard from Miss Bell that +morning that everything was going perfectly, and she was +getting hold of magnificent copy. He was only sorry it +wouldn't be quite suitable for serial publication in the +_Age_; but, as Professor Cardiff was doubtless aware, +the British public were kittle cattle to shoe behind, +and he hardly thought the _Age_ could handle it. + +"Oh yes," Mr. Cardiff replied absently. "Cheynemouth, +I think you said--for the next five days. Thanks. +Successful? I dare say. The idea is certainly a novel +one. Good-morning!" and he left the sub-editor of the +_Illustrated Age_ in a state of some uncertainty as to +the wisdom of having disclosed so much. Half an hour +later, when Kendal, who knew Rattray fairly well, called +and asked him for Miss Bell's present address, he got it +with some reluctance and fewer details. + +Cardiff drove to his club, and wrote a note to Janet, +asking her to send his portmanteau to the 3.45 train at +Euston, as he intended to run down to Cheynemouth and +might stay over night He fastened up the envelope, then +after a moment's hesitation tore it open and added, "Miss +Bell is attempting a preposterous thing. I am going to +see if it cannot be prevented." He fancied Janet would +understand his not caring to go into particulars in the +meantime. It was because of his aversion to going into +particulars that he sent the note and lunched at the +club, instead of driving home as he had abundance of time +to do. Janet would have to be content with that; it would +be bad enough to have to explain Rattray's intolerable +"scheme" to her when it had been frustrated. After luncheon +he went into the smoking-room and read through three +leading articles with an occasional inkling of their +meaning. At the end of the third he became convinced of +the absurdity of trying to fix his attention upon anything, +and smoked his next Havana with his eyes upon the toe of +his boot, in profound meditation. An observant person +might have noticed that he passed his hand once or twice +lightly, mechanically, over the top of his head; but even +an observant person would hardly have connected the action +with Mr. Cardiff's latent idea that although his hair +might be tinged in a damaging way there was still a good +deal of it. Three o'clock found him standing at the club +window with his hands in his pockets, and the firm-set +lips of a man who has made up his mind, looking unseeingly +into the street. At a quarter past he was driving to the +station in a hansom, smiling at the rosette on the horse's +head, which happened to be a white one. + +"There's Cardiff," said a man who saw him taking his +ticket. "More than ever the _joli garcon!_" + +An hour and a half later one of the somewhat unprepossessing +set of domestics attached to the Mansion Hotel, Cheynemouth, +undertook to deliver Mr. Lawrence Cardiff's card to Miss +Bell. She didn't remember no such name among the young +ladies of the Peach Blossom Company, but she would +h'inquire. They was a ladies' drawin'-room upstairs, if +he would like to sit down. She conducted him to the +ladies' drawing-room, which boasted two pairs of torn +lace curtains, a set of dirty furniture with plush +trimmings, several lithographs of mellow Oriental scenes +somewhat undecidedly poised upon the wall, and a +marble-topped centre-table around which were disposed at +careful intervals three or four copies of last year's +illustrated papers. "You can w'yt'ere, sir," she said, +installing him as it were. "I'll let you know directly." + +At the end of the corridor the girl met Elfrida herself, +who took the card with that quickening of her pulse, that +sudden commotion which had come to represent to her, in +connection with any critical personal situation, one of +the keenest possible sensations of pleasure. "You may tell +the gentleman," she said quietly, "that I will come in +a moment." Then she went back into her own room, closed +the door, and sat down on the side of the bed with a pale +face and eyes that comprehended, laughed, and were withal +a little frightened. That was what she must get rid of, +that feeling of fear, that scent of adverse criticism. +She would sit still 'till she was perfectly calm, perfectly +accustomed to the idea that Lawrence Cardiff had come to +remonstrate with her, and had come because--because what +she had been gradually becoming convinced of all these +months was true. He was so clever, so distinguished, he +had his eyes and his voice and his whole self so perfectly +under control, that she never could be quite, _quite_ +sure--but now! And in spite of herself her heart beat +faster at the anticipation of what he might be waiting +to say to her not twenty steps away. She hid her face in +the pillow to laugh at the thought of how deliciously +the interference of an elderly lover would lend itself +to the piece of work, which she saw in fascinating +development under her hand, and she had an instantaneous +flash of regret that she couldn't use it--no, she couldn't +possibly. With fingers that trembled a little she twisted +her hair into a knot that became her better, and gave an +adjusting pat to the fluffy ends around her forehead. +"Nous en ferons une comedie adorable!" she nodded at the +girl in the glass; and then, with the face and manner of +a child detected in some mischief who yet expects to be +forgiven, she went into the drawing-room. + +At the sight of her all that Cardiff was ready to say +vanished from the surface of his mind. The room was +already gray in the twilight. He drew her by both hands +to the nearest window, and looked at her mutely, +searchingly. It seemed to him that she, who was so quick +of apprehension, ought to know why he had come without +words, and her submission deepened his feeling of a +complete understanding between them. + +"I've washed it all off!" said she naively, lifting her +face to his scrutiny. "It's not an improvement by daylight, +you know." + +He smiled a little, but he did not release her hands. +"Elfrida, you must come home." + +"Let us sit down," she said, drawing them away. He had +a trifle too much advantage, standing so close to her, +tall and firm in the dusk, knowing what he wanted, and +with that tenderness in his voice. Not that she had the +most far-away intention of yielding, but she did not want +their little farce to be spoiled by any complications +that might mar her pleasure in looking back upon it. "I +think," said she, "you will find that a comfortable +chair," and she showed him one which stood where all the +daylight that came through the torn curtains concentrated +itself. From her own seat she could draw her face into +the deepest shadow in the room. She made the arrangement +almost instinctively, and the lines of intensity the last +week had drawn upon Cardiffs face were her first reward. + +"I have come to ask you to give up this thing," he said. + +Elfrida leaned forward a little in her favorite attitude, +clasping her knee. Her eyes were widely serious. "You +ask me to give it up?" she repeated slowly. "But why do +you ask me?" + +"Because I cannot associate it with you--to me it is +impossible that you should do it." + +Elfrida lifted her eyebrows a little. "Do you know why +I am doing it?" she asked. + +"I think so." + +"It is not a mere escapade, you understand. And these +people do not pay me anything. That is quite just, because +I have never learned to act and I haven't much voice. I +can take no part, only just--appear." + +"_Appear!_" Cardiff exclaimed. "Have you appeared!" + +"Seven times," Elfrida said simply, but she felt that +she was blushing. + +Cardiff's anger rose up hotly within him, and strove with +his love, and out of it there came a sickening sense of +impotency which assailed his very soul. All his life he +had had tangibilities to deal with. This was something +in the air, and already he felt the apprehension of being +baffled here, where he wrought for his heart and his +future. + +"So that is a part of it," he said, with tightened lips. +"I did not know." + +"Oh, I insisted upon that," Elfrida replied softly. "I +am quite one of them--one of the young ladies of the +Peach Blossom Company. I am learning all their sensations, +their little frailties, their vocabulary, their ways of +looking at things. I know how the novice feels when she +makes her first appearance in the chorus of a +spectacle--I've noted every vibration of her nerves. I'm +learning all the little jealousies and intrigues among +them, and all their histories and their ambitions. They +are more moral than you may think, but it is not the +moral one who is the most interesting. Her virtue is +generally a very threadbare, common sort of thing. +The--others--have more color in the fabric of their lives, +and you can't think how picturesque their passions are. +One of the chorus girls has two children. I feel a brute +sometimes at the way she--" Elfrida broke off, and looked +out of the window for an instant. "She brings their little +clothes into my bedroom to make--though there is no need, +they are in an asylum. She is divorced from their father," +she went on coolly, "and he is married to the leading +lady. Candidly," she added, looking at him with a courageous +smile, "prejudice apart, is it not magnificent material?" + +A storm of words trembled upon the verge of his lips, +but his diplomacy instinctively sealed them up. "You +can never use it," he said instead. + +"Perfectly! I am not quite sure about the form--whether +I shall write as one of them, or as myself, telling the +story of my experience. But I never dreamed of having +such an opportunity. If I didn't mean to write a word I +should be glad of it--a look into another world, with +its own customs and language and ethics and pleasures +and pains. _Quelle chance!_ + +"And then," she went on, as if to herself, "to be of the +life, the strange, unreal, painted, lime-lighted life +that goes on behind the curtain! That is something--to +act one's part in it, to know that one's own secret role +is a thousand times more difficult than any in the +_repertoire_. Can't you understand?" she appealed. "You +are horribly unresponsive. We won't talk of it any longer." +she added, with a little offended air. "How is Janet?" + +"We must talk of it, Elfrida," Cardiff answered. "Let +me tell you one thing," he added steadily. "Such a book +as you propose writing would be classed as the lowest +sensationalism. People would compare it with the literature +of the police court." + +Elfrida sprang to her feet, with her head thrown back +and-her beautiful eyes alight. "_Touche!_" Cardiff thought +exultingly. + +"You may go too far!" she exclaimed passionately. "There +are some things that may not be said!" + +Cardiff went over to her quickly and took her hand. +"Forgive me," he said. "Forgive me--I am very much in +earnest." + +She turned away from him. "You had no right to say it. +You know my work, and you know that the ideal of it is +everything in the world to me--my religion. How dared you +suggest a comparison between, it and--_cette ordure la!_" + +Her voice broke, and Cardiff fancied she was on the brink +of tears. "Elfrida," he cried miserably, "let us have an +end of this! I have no right to intrude my opinions--if +you like, my prejudices--between you and what you are +doing. But I have come to beg you to give me the right." +He came a step closer and laid his free hand lightly on +her shoulder. "Elfrida," he said unhesitatingly, "I want +you to be my wife." + +"And Janet's stepmother!" thought the girl swiftly. But +she hoped he would not mention Janet; it would burlesque +the situation. + +"Your going away made me quite sure," he added simply. +"I can never do without you altogether again. Instead I +want to possess you altogether." He bent his fine face +to the level of hers, and took both her hands in his. +Elfrida thought that by that light he looked strangely +young. + +She slipped her hands away, but did not move, He was +still very close to her--she could feel his breath upon +her hair. + +"Oh no!" she said. "Marriage is so absurd!" and immediately +it occurred to her that she might have put this more +effectively. "Cela n'est pas bien dit!" she thought. + +"Let us sit down together and talk about it," he answered +gently, and drew her toward the little sofa in the corner. + +"But--I am afraid--there is nothing more to say. And in +a quarter of an hour I must go." + +Cardiff smiled masterfully. "I could marry you, little +one, in a quarter of an hour," he said. + +But at the end of that time Lawrence Cardiff found himself +very far indeed from the altar, and more enlightened +perhaps than he had ever been before about the radicalism +of certain modern sentiments concerning it. She would +change, he averred; might he be allowed to hope that she +would change, and to wait--months, years? She would never +change, Elfrida avowed, it was useless--quite useless--to +think of that. The principle had too deep a root in her +being--to tear it up would be to destroy her whole joy +in life, she said, leaving Cardiff to wonder vaguely what +she meant. + +"I will wait," he said, as she rose to go; "but you will +come back with me now, and we will write a book--some +other book--together." + +The girl laughed gaily. "All alone by myself I must do +it," she answered. "And I must do _this_ book. You will +approve it when it is done. I am not afraid." + +He had her hands again. "Elfrida," he threatened, "if +you go on the stage to-night in the costume I see so +graphically advertised--an Austrian hussar, isn't it?--I +will attend. I will take a box," he added, wondering at +his own brutality. But by any means he must prevail. + +Elfrida turned a shade paler. "You will not do that," +she said gravely. "Good-by. Thank you for having come to +persuade me to give this up. And I wish I could do what +you would like. But it is quite, quite impossible." She +bent over him and touched his forehead lightly with her +lips. "Good-by," she said again, and was gone. + +An hour later he was on his way back to town. As the +mail train whizzed by another, side-tracked to await its +passing, Mr. Cardiff might have seen Kendal, if there +had been time to look, puffing luxuriously in a smoking +compartment, and unfolding a copy of the _Illustrated Age_. + + + + +CHAPTER XXV. + +Before he had been back in Norway a week Kendal felt his +perturbation with regard to Elfrida remarkably quieted +and soothed. It seemed to him, in the long hours while +he fished and painted, that in the progress of the little +drama, from its opening act at Lady Halifax's to its +final scene at the studio, he had arrived at something +solid and tangible as the basis of his relation toward +the girl. It had precipitated in him a power of +comprehending her and of criticising her which he had +possessed before only, as it were, in solution. Whatever +once held him from stating to himself the results of his +study of her had vanished, leaving him no name by which +to call it. He found that he could smile at her +whimsicalities, and reflect upon her odd development, +and regret her devouring egotism, without the vision of +her making dumb his voluble thought; and he no longer +regretted the incident that gave him his freedom. He +realized her as he painted her, and the realization +visited him less often, much less often, than before. +Even the fact that she knew what he thought gradually +became an agreeable one. There would be room for no +hypocrisies between them. He wished that Janet Cardiff +could have some such experience. It was provoking that +she should be still so loyally _avengle_; that he would +not be able to discuss Elfrida with her, when he went +back to London, from an impersonal point of view. He had +a strong desire to say precisely what he thought of her +friend to Janet, in which there was an obscure recognition +of a duty of reparation--obscure because he had no overt +disloyalty to Janet to charge himself with, but none the +less present. He saw the intimacy between the two girls +from a new point of view; he comprehended the change the +months had made, and he had a feeling of some displeasure +that Janet Cardiff should have allowed herself to be so +subdued, so seconded in it. + +Kendal came back a day or two before Elfrida's +disappearance, and saw her only once in the meantime. +That was on the evening--which struck him later as one +of purposeless duplicity--before the Peach-Blossom Company +had left for the provinces, when he and Elfrida both +dined at the Cardiffs'. With him that night she had the +air of a chidden child; she was silent and embarrassed, +and now and then he caught a glance which told him in so +many words that she was very sorry, she hadn't meant to, +she would never do it again. He did not for a moment +suspect that it referred to the scene at Lady Halifax's, +and was more than half real. It was not easy to know that +even genuine feeling, with Elfrida, required a cloak of +artifice. He put it down as a pretty pose, and found it +as objectionable as the one he had painted. He was more +curious, perhaps, but less disturbed than either of the +Cardiffs as the days went by and Elfrida made no sign. +He felt, however, that his curiosity was too irreligious +to obtrude upon Janet; besides, his knowledge of her hurt +anxiety kept him within the bounds of the simplest inquiry, +while she, noting his silence, believed him to be eating +his heart out. In the end it was the desire to relieve +and to satisfy Janet that took him to the _Age_ office. +It might be impossible for her to make such inquiries, +he told himself, but no obligation could possibly attach +to him, except--and his heart throbbed affirmatively at +this--the obligation of making Janet happier about it. +He could have laughed, aloud when he heard the scheme +from Rattray's lips--it so perfectly filled out his +picture, his future projection of Elfrida; he almost +assured himself that he had imagined and expected it. +But his desire to relieve Janet was suddenly lost in an +upstarting brood of impulses that took him to the railway +station with the smile still upon his lips. Here was a +fresh development; his interest was keenly awake again, +he would go and verify the facts. When his earlier +intention reoccurred to him in the train, he dismissed +it with the thought that what he had seen would be more +effective, more disillusionizing, than what he had merely +heard. He triumphed in advance over Janet's disillusion, +but he thought more eagerly of the pleasure of proving, +with his own eyes, another step in the working out of +the problem which he believed he had solved in Elfrida. + +"Big house to-night, sir. All the stalls taken," said +the young man with the high collar in the box office when +Kendal appeared before the window. + +"Pit," replied Kendal, and the young man stared. + +"Pit did you say, sir? Well, you'll 'ave to look slippy +or you won't get a seat there either." + +Kendal was glad it was a full house. He began to realize +how very much he would prefer that Elfrida should not +see him there. From his point of view it was perfectly +warrantable--he had no sense of any obligation which +would prevent his adding to his critical observation of +her--but from Miss Bell's? He found himself lacking the +assurance that no importance was to be attached to Miss +Bell's point of view, and he turned up his coat collar +and pulled his hat over his eyes, and seated himself as +obscurely as possible, with a satisfactory sense that +nobody could take him for a gentleman, mingled with a +less agreeable suspicion that it was doubtful whether, +under the circumstances, he had a complete right to the +title. The overture strung him up more pleasureably than +usual, however. He wondered if he should recognize her +at once, and what part she would have. He did not know +the piece, but of course it would be a small one. He +wondered--for, so far as he knew, she had had no experience +of the stage--how she could have been got ready in the +time to take even a small one. Inevitably it would be a +part with three words to say and nothing to sing--probably +a maid-servant's. He smiled as he thought how sincerely +Elfrida would detest such a personation. When the curtain +rose at last Mr. John Kendal searched the stage more +eagerly than the presence there of any mistress of her +art had ever induced him to do before. The first act was +full of gaiety, and the music was very tolerable; but +Kendal, scanning one insistent figure and painted face +after another, heard nothing, in effect, of what was said +or sung--he was conscious only of a strong disappointment +when it was over and Elfrida had not appeared. + +The curtain went up again to a quick-step, to clinking +steel, and the sound of light marching feet. An instant +after forty young women were rhythmically advancing and +retreating before the footlights, picturesquely habited +in a military costume comprising powdered wigs, +three-cornered hats, gold-embroidered blue coats, +flesh-colored tights, and kid top-boots, which dated +uncertainly from the middle ages. They sang, as they +crossed their varyingly shapely legs, stamped their feet, +and formed into figures no drill-book ever saw, a chorus +of which the refrain was + + "Oh, it never matters, matters, + Though his coat be tatters, tatters, + His good sword rust-incrusted and his songs all sung, + The maids will flatter, flatter, + And foes will scatter, scatter, + For a soldier is soldier while his heart is young," + +the last line accompanied by a smiling flirt of their +eyes over their shoulders and a kick to the rear as they +wheeled, which evoked the unstinted appreciation of the +house. The girls had the unvarying pink-and-white surfaces +of their profession, but under it they obviously differed +much, and the age and emaciation and ugliness among them +had its common emphasis in the contrast of their smart +masculine attire with the distressingly feminine outlines +of their figures. "I should have thought it impossible +to make a woman absolutely hideous by a dress that revealed +her form," said Kendal to himself, as the jingling and +the dancing and the music went on in the glare before +him, "but, upon my word--" He paused suddenly. She wasn't +absolutely hideous, that tall girl with the plume and +the sword, who maneuvered always in front of the +company--the lieutenant in charge. Indeed, she was comely +every way, slight and graceful, and there was a singular +strong beauty in her face, which was enhanced by the +rouge and the powder, and culminated in the laugh in her +eyes and upon her lips--a laugh which meant enjoyment, +excitement, exhilaration. + +It grew upon Kendal that none of the chorus girls approached +Elfrida in the abandon with which they threw themselves +into the representation--that all the others were more +conscious than she of the wide-hipped incongruity of +their role. To the man who beheld her there in an +absolutely new world of light and color and course jest +it seemed that she was perfectly oblivious of any other, +and that her personality was the most aggressive, the +most ferociously determined to be made the most of, on +the stage. As the chorus ceased a half-grown youth remarked +to his companion in front, "But the orficer's the one, +Dave! Ain't she fly!" and the words coming out distinctly +in the moment of after-silence when the applause was +over, set the pit laughing for two or three yards around. +Whereat Kendal, with an assortment of feelings which he +took small pleasure in analyzing later, got up and went +out. People looked up angrily at him as he stumbled over +their too numerous feet in doing so--he was spoiling a +solo of some pathos by Mr. Golightly Ticke in the character +of a princely refugee, a fur-trimmed mantle, and shoes +with buckles. + +Kendal informed himself with some severity that no possible +motive could induce him to make any comment upon Miss +Bell to Janet, and found it necessary to go down into +Devonshire next day, where his responsibilities had begun +to make a direct and persistent attack upon him. It was +the first time he had yielded, and he could not help +being amused by the remembrance, in the train, of Elfrida's +solemn warning about the danger of his growing typical +and going into Parliament. A middle-aged country gentleman +with broad shoulders and a very red neck occupied the +compartment with him, and handled the _Times_ as if the +privilege of reading it were one of the few the democratic +spirit of the age had left to his class. Kendal scanned +him with interest and admiration and pleasure. It was an +excellent thing that England's backbone should be composed +of men like that, he thought and he half wished he were +not so consciously undeserving of national vertebral +honors himself--that Elfrida's warnings had a little more +basis of probability. Not that he wanted to drop his +work, but a man owed something to his country, especially +when he had what they called a stake in it--to establish +a home perhaps, to marry, to have children growing up +about him. A man had to think of his old age. He told +himself that he must be the lightest product of a flippant +time, since these things did not occur to him more +seriously; and he threw himself into all that had to be +done upon "the place," when he arrived at it, with an +energy that disposed its real administrators to believe +that his ultimate salvation as a landlord was still +possible. + +He was talking to Janet Cardiff at one of Lady Halifax's +afternoon teas a fortnight later, when their hostess +advanced toward them interrogatively. "While I think of +it, Janet," said she laying a mittened hand on Miss +Cardiff's arm, "what has become of your eccentric little +American friend? I sent her a card a month ago, and we've +neither heard nor seen anything of her." + +"Elfrida Bell--oh, she's out of town, Lady Halifax, and +I am rather desolate without her--we see so much of her, +you know. But she will be back soon--I dare say I will +be able to bring her next Thursday. How delicious this +coffee is! I shall have another cup, if it keeps me awake +for a week. Oh, you got my note about the concert, dear +lady?" + +Kendal noticed the adroitness of her chatter with amusement. +Before she had half finished Lady Halifax had taken an +initial step toward moving off, and Janet's last words +received only a nod and a smile for reply. + +"You know, then?" said he, when that excellent woman was +safely out of earshot. + +"Yes, I know," Janet answered, twisting the hanging end +of her long-haired boa about her wrist. "I feel as if +I oughtn't to, but daddy told me. Daddy went, you know, +to try to persuade her to give it up. I _was_ so angry +with him for doing it. He might have known Elfrida +better. And it was such a--Such a criticism!" + +"I wish you would tell me-what you really think," said +Kendal audaciously. + +Janet sipped her coffee nervously. "I--I have no right +to think," she returned. "I am not in Frida's confidence +in the matter. But of course she is perfectly right, +from, her point of view." + +"Ah!" Kendal said, "her point of view." + +Janet looked up at him with a sudden perception of the +coldness of his tone. In spite of herself it gave her +keen happiness, until the reflection came that probably +he resented her qualification, and turned her heart to +lead. She searched her soul for words. + +"If she wants to do this thing, she has taken, of course, +the only way to do it well. She does not need any +justification--none at all. I wish she were back," Janet +went on desperately, "but only for my own sake--I don't +like being out of it with her; not for any reason connected +with what she is doing." + +There was an appreciable pause between them. "Let me +put down your cup," suggested Kendal. + +Turning to her again, he said gravely, "I saw Miss Bell +at Cheynemouth, too." Janet's hands trembled as she +fastened the fur at her throat. "And I also wish she +were back. But my reason is not, I am afraid, so simple +as yours." + +"Here is daddy," Janet answered, "and I know he wants to +go. I don't think my father is looking quite as well as +he ought to. He doesn't complain, but I suspect him of +concealed neuralgia. Please give him a lecture upon +over-doing--it's the predominant vice of his character!" + + + + +CHAPTER XXVI. + +Elfrida spent five weeks with the Peach Blossom Company +on their provincial tour, and in the end the manager was +sorry to lose her. He was under the impression that she +had joined them as an aspiring novice, presumably able +to gratify that or any other whim. He had guessed that +she was clever, and could see that she was extremely +good-looking. Before the month was out he was congratulating +himself upon his perception much as Rattray had a habit +of doing, and was quite ready to give Elfrida every +encouragement she wanted to embrace the burlesque stage +seriously--it was a thundering pity she hadn't voice +enough for comic opera. He had nothing to complain of; +the arrangement had been for a few weeks only, and had +cost him the merest trifle of travelling expenses; but +the day Elfrida went back to town he was inclined to +parley with her, to discuss the situation, and to make +suggestions for her future plan of action. His attitude +of visible regret added another thrill to the joy the +girl had in the thought of her undertaking; it marked a +point of her success, she thought, at least so far as +preliminaries went. Already, as she shrank fastidiously +into the corner of a third-class travelling-carriage, +her project seemed to have reached its original and +notable materialization. Chapters passed before her eyes +as they do sometimes in dreams, full of charm and beauty; +the book went through every phase of comedy and pathos, +always ringing true. Little half-formed sentences of +admirable art rose before her mind, and she hastily barred +them out, feeling that she was not ready yet, and it +would be mad misery to want them and to have forgotten +them. The thought of what she meant to do possessed her +wholly, though, and she resigned herself to dreams of +the most effective arrangement of her material, the +selection of her publisher, the long midnight hours alone +with Buddha, in which she should give herself up to the +enthralment of speaking with that voice which she could +summon, that elusive voice which she lived only, only to +be the medium for--that precious voice which would be +heard one day, yes, and listened-to. + +She was so freshly impressed with the new life-lights, +curious, tawdry, fascinating, revolting, above all sharp +and undisguised, of the world she had left, that she saw +them already projected with a verisimilitude which, if +she had possessed the art of it, would have made her +indeed famous. Her own power of realization, assured her +on this point--nobody could see, not divine but _see_, +as she did, without being able to reproduce; the one +implied the other. She fingered feverishly the strap of +the little hand-bag in her lap, and satisfied herself by +unlocking it with a key that hung on a String inside her +jacket. It had two or three photographs of the women she +knew among the company, another of herself in her stage +uniform, a bill of the play, her powder-puff and rouge-box, +a scrap of gold lace, a young Jew's letter full of blots +and devotion, a rather vulgar sapphire bracelet, some +artificial flowers, and a quantity of slips of paper of +all sizes covered with her own enigmatically rounded +handwriting. She put her hand in carefully and +searched--everything was there; and up from the bag came +a scent that made her shut her eyes and laugh with its +power to bring her experiences back to her. She locked +it; carefully again with a quivering sigh--after all she +would not have many hours to wait. Presently an idea came +to her that she thought worth keeping, and she thrust +her hand into her pocket for paper and pencil. She drew +out a crumpled oblong scrap and wrote on the back of it, +then unlocked the little bag again and put it carefully +in. Before it had been only the check of the _Illustrated +Age_ for a fortnight's work; now it was the record of +something valuable. + +The train rolled into a black and echoing station as the +light in the carriage began to turn from the uncertain +grayness that came in at the window to the uncertain +yellowness that descended from the roof. Boys ran up and +down the length of the platform in the foggy gaslit +darkness shouting Banbury cakes and newspapers. Elfrida +hated Banbury cakes, but she had a consuming hunger and +bought some. She also hated English newspapers, but lately +some queer new notable Australian things had been appearing +in the _St. George's Gazette_--Cardiff had sent them to +her--and she selected this journal from the damp lot that +hung, over the newsboy's arm, on the chance of a fresh +one. The doors were locked and the train hurried on. +Elfrida ate two of her Banbury cakes with the malediction +that only this British confection can inspire, and bestowed +the rest upon a small boy who eyed her enviously over +the back of an adjoining seat She and the small boy and +his mother had the carriage to themselves. + +There was nothing from the unusual Australian contributor +in this number of the _St. George's_, and Elfrida turned +its pages with the bored feeling of knowing what else +she might expect. "Parliamentary Debates," of course, +and the news of London, five lines from America announcing +the burning of a New York hotel with hideous loss of +life, an article on the situation in Persia, and one on +the cultivation of artichokes, "Money," "The Seer of +Hawarden," the foreign markets--book reviews. Elfrida +thought also that she knew what she might expect here, +and that it would be nothing very absorbing. Still, with +a sense of tasting criticism in advance, she let her eye +travel over the column or two the paper devoted to three +or four books of the week. A moment later Janet Cardiff's +name in the second paragraph had sprung at her throat, +it seemed to Elfrida, and choked her. + +She could not see--she could not see! The print was so +bad, the light was infernal, the carriage jolted so. She +got up and held the paper nearer to the lamp in the roof, +staying herself against the end of a seat. As she read +she grew paler, and the paper shook in her hand. "One of +the valuable books of the year," "showing grasp of +character and keen dramatic instinct," "a distinctly +original vein," "too slender a plot for perfect symmetry, +but a treatment of situation at once nervous and strong," +were some of the commonplaces that said themselves over +and again in her mind as she sank back into her place by +the window with the paper lying across her lap. + +Her heart beat furiously, her head was in a whirl; she +stared hard, for calmness, into the swift-passing night +outside. Presently she recognized herself to be angry +with an intense still jealous anger that seemed to rise +and consume her in every part of her being. A success--of +course it would be a success if Janet wrote it--she was +not artistic enough to fail. Ah, should Janet's friend +go so far as to say that? She didn't know--she would +think afterward; but Janet was of those who succeed, and +there were more ways than one of deserving success. Janet +was a compromise; she belonged really to the British +public and the class of Academy studies from the nude +which were always draped, just a little. Elfrida found +a bitter satisfaction in this simile, and elaborated it. +The book would be one to be commended for _jeunes filles_, +and her lips turned down mockingly in the shadow. She +fancied some well-meaning critic saying, "It should be +on every drawing-room table," and she almost laughed +outright. She thought of a number of other little things +that might be said, of the same nature and equally amusing. +Her anger flamed up again at the thought of how Janet +had concealed this ambition from her, had made her, in +a way, the victim of it. It was not fair--not fair! She +could have prepared herself against it; she might have +got _her_ book ready sooner, and its triumphant editions +might at least have come out side by side with Janet's. +She was just beginning to feel that they were neck and +neck, in a way, and now Janet had shot so far ahead, in +a night, in a paragraph. She could never, never catch +up! And from under her closed eyelids two hot tears +started and ran over her cold cheeks. It came upon her +suddenly that she was sick with jealousy, not envy, but +pure anger at being distanced, and she tried to attack +herself about it. With a strong effort she heaped opprobrium +and shame upon herself, denounced herself, tried to hate +herself. But she felt that it was all a kind of dumb-show, +and that under it nothing could change the person she +was or the real feeling she had about this--nothing except +being first. Ah! then she could be generous and loyal +and disinterested; then she could be really a nice person +to know, she derided herself. And as her foot touched +the little hand-bag on the floor she took a kind of sullen +courage, which deserted her when she folded the paper on +her lap and was struck again in the face with Lash and +Black's advertisement on the outside page announcing +Janet's novel in letters that looked half a foot long. +Then she resigned herself to her wretchedness till the +train sped into the glory of Paddington. + +"I hope you're not bad, miss," remarked the small boy's +mother as they pushed toward the door together; "them +Banburys don't agree with everybody." + +The effect upon Elfrida was hysterical. She controlled +herself just long enough to answer with decent gravity, +and escaped upon the platform to burst into a silent +quivering paroxysm of laughter that brought her overcharged +feeling delicious relief, and produced an answering smile +on the face of a large, good-looking policeman. Her laugh +rested her, calmed her, and restored something of her +moral tone. She was at least able to resist the temptation +of asking the boy at the book-stall where she bought +"John Camberwell" whether the volume was selling rapidly +or not. Buddha looked on askance while she read it, all +night long and well into the morning. She reached the +last page and flung down the book in pure physical +exhaustion, with the framework of half a dozen reviews +in her mind. When she awoke, at two in the afternoon, +she decided that she must have another day or two of +solitude; she would not let the Cardiffs know she had +returned quite yet. + +Three days afterward the _Illustrated Age_ published a +review of "John Camberwell" which brought an agreeable +perplexity to Messrs. Lash and Black. It was too good to +compress, and their usual advertising space would not +contain it all. It was almost passionately appreciative; +here and there the effect of criticism was obviously +marred by the desire of the writer to let no point of +beauty or of value escape divination. Quotations from +the book were culled like flowers, with a delicate hand; +and there was conspicuous care in the avoidance of any +phrase that was hackneyed, any line of criticism that +custom had impoverished. It seemed that the writer +fashioned a tribute, and strove to make it perfect in +every way. And so perfect it was, so cunningly devised +and gracefully expressed, with such a self-conscious +beauty of word and thought, that its extravagance went +unsuspected, and the interest it provoked was its own. + +Janet read the review in glow of remorseful affection. +She was appealed to less by the exquisite manipulation +with which the phrases strove to say the most and the +best, than by the loyal haste to praise she saw behind, +them, and she forgave their lack of blame in the happy +belief that Elfrida had not the heart for it. She was +not in the least angry that her friend should have done +her the injustice of what would have been, less adroitly +managed, indiscriminate praise; in fact, she hardly +thought of the value of the critique at all, so absorbed +was she in the sweet sense of the impulse that made +Elfrida write it. To Janet's quick forgiveness it made +up for everything; indeed, she found in it a scourge for +her anger, for her resentment. Elfrida might do what she +pleased, Janet would never cavil again; she was sure now +of some real possession in her friend. But she longed to +see Elfrida, to assure herself of the warm verity of +this. Besides, she wanted to feel her work in her friend's +presence, to extract the censure that was due, to take +the essence of praise from her eyes and voice and hand. +But she would wait. She had still no right to know that +Elfrida had returned, and an odd sensitiveness prevented +her from driving instantly to Essex Court to ask. + +The next day passed, and the next. Lawrence Cardiff found +no reason to share his daughter's scruples, and went +twice, to meet Mrs. Jordan on the threshold with the +implacable statement that Miss Bell had returned but was +not at home. He found it impossible to mention Elfrida +to Janet now. + +John Kendal had gone back to Devonshire to look after +the thinning of a bit of his woodlands--one thing after +another claimed his attention there. Janet had a gay +note from him now and then, always _en camarade_, in +which he deplored himself in the character of an intelligent +land-owner, but in which she detected also a growing +interest and satisfaction in all that he was finding to +do. Janet saw it always with a throb of pleasure; his +art was much to her, but the sympathy that bound him to +the practical side of his world was more, though she +would not have confessed it. She was unconsciously +comforted by the sense that it was on the warm, bright, +comprehensible side of his interest in life that she +touched him--and that Elfrida did not touch him. The idea +of the country house in Devonshire excluded Elfrida, and +it was an exclusion Janet could be happy in conscientiously, +since Elfrida did not care. + + + + +CHAPTER XXVII. + +Even in view of her popular magazine articles and her +literary name Janet's novel was a surprising success. +There is no reason why we should follow the example of +all the London critics except Elfrida Bell, and go into +the detail of its slender story, and its fairly original, +broadly human qualities of treatment, to explain this; +the fact will, perhaps, be accepted without demonstration. +It was a common phrase among the reviewers--though Messrs. +Lash and Black carefully cut it out of their selections +for advertisement--that the book with all its merits was +in no way remarkable; and the publishers were as much +astonished as anybody else when the first edition was +exhausted in three weeks. Yet the agreeable fact remained +that the reviewers gave it the amount of space usually +assigned to books allowed to be remarkable, and that the +_Athenian_ announced the second edition to be had "at +all book-sellers'" on a certain Monday. "When they say +it is not remarkable," wrote Kendal to Janet, "they mean +that it is not heroic, and that it is published in one +volume, at six shillings. To be remarkable--to the +trade--it should have dealt with epic passion, in three +volumes, at thirty." + +To him the book had a charm quite apart from its literary +value, in the revelation it made of its author. It was +the first piece of work Janet had done from a seriously +artistic point of view, into which she had thrown herself +without fence or guard, and it was to him as if she had +stepped from behind a mask. He wrote to her about it +with the confidence of the new relation it established +between them; he looked forward with warm pleasure to +the closer intimacy which it would bring. To Janet, living +in this new sweetness of their better understanding, only +one thing was lacking--Elfrida made no sign. If Janet +could have known, it was impossible. In her review Elfrida +had done all she could. She had forced herself to write +it before she touched a line of her own work, and now, +persistently remote in her attic, she strove every night +over the pile of notes which represented the ambition +that sent its roots daily deeper into the fibre of her +being. Twice she made up her mind to go to Kensington +Square, and found she could not--the last time being the +day the _Decade_ said that a new and larger edition of +"John Camberwell" was in preparation. + +Ten days after her return the maid at Kensington Square, +with a curious look, brought up Elfrida's card to Janet. +Miss Bell was in the drawing-room, she said. Yes, she +had told Miss Bell Miss Cardiff was up in the library, +but Miss Bell said she would wait in the drawing-room. + +Janet looked at the card in astonishment, debating with +herself what it might mean--such a formality was absurd +between them. Why had not Elfrida come up at once to this +third-story den of theirs she knew so well? What new +preposterous caprice was this? She went down gravely, +chilled; but before she reached the drawing-room door +she resolved to take it another way, as a whim, as matter +for scolding. After all, she was glad Elfrida had come +back to her on any terms. She went in radiant, with a +quick step, holding the card at arm's length. + +"To what," she demanded mockingly, "am I to attribute +the honor of this visit?" but she seized Elfrida lightly +and kissed her on both cheeks before it was possible for +her to reply. + +The girl disengaged herself gently. "Oh I have come, like +the rest, to lay my homage at your feet," she said, with +a little smile that put spaces between them. "You did +not expect me to deny myself that pleasure?" + +"Don't be absurd, Frida. When did you come back to town?" + +"When did I come back?" Elfrida repeated slowly, watching +for the effect of her words. "On the first, I think it was." + +"And this is the tenth!" Janet exclaimed; adding helplessly, +"You _are_ an enigma! Why didn't you let me know?" + +"How could I suppose that you would care to know anything +just now--except what the papers tell you." + +Janet regarded her silently, saying nothing. Under her +look Elfrida's expression changed a little, grew +uncomfortable. The elder girl felt the chill, the +seriousness with which she received the card upstairs, +return upon her suddenly, and she became aware that she +could not, with self-respect, fight it any longer. + +"If you thought that," she said gravely, "it was a curious +thing to think. But I believe I am indebted to you for +one of the pleasantest things the papers have been telling +me," she went on, with constraint. "It was very kind--much +too kind. Thank you very much." + +Elfrida looked up, half frightened at the revulsion of +her tone. "But--but your book is delightful. I was no +more charmed than everybody must be. And it has made a +tremendous hit, hasn't it?" + +"Thanks, I believe it is doing a fair amount of credit +to its publishers. They are very pushing people." + +"How delicious it must feel!" Elfrida said. Her words +were more like those of their ordinary relation, but her +tone and manner had the aloofness of the merest +acquaintance. Janet felt a slow anger grow up in her. It +was intolerable, this dictation of their relation. Elfrida +desired a change--she should have it, but not at her +caprice. Janet's innate dominance rose up and asserted +a superior right to make the terms between them, and all +the hidden jar, the unacknowledged contempt, the irritation, +the hurt and the stress of the year that had passed rushed +in from banishment and gained possession of her. She took +just an appreciable instant to steady herself, and then +her gray eyes regarded Elfrida with a calm remoteness in +them which gave the other girl a quick impression of +having done more than she meant to do, gone too far to +return. Their glances met, and Elfrida's eyes, unquiet +and undecided, dropped before Janet's. Already she had +a vibrant regret. + +"You enjoyed being out of town, of course," Janet said. +"It is always pleasant to leave London for a while, I +think." + +There was a cool masterfulness in the tone of this that +arrested Elfrida's feeling of half-penitence, and armed +her instantly. Whatever desire she had felt to assert +and indulge her individuality at any expense, in her own +attitude there had been the consciousness of what they +owed one another. She had defied it, perhaps, but it had +been there. In this it was ignored; Janet had gone a step +further--her tone expressed the blankest indifference. +Elfrida drew herself up. + +"Thanks, it was delightful. An escape from London always +is, as you say. Unfortunately, one is obliged to come +back." + +Janet laughed lightly. "Oh, I don't know that I go so +far as that. I rather like coming back too. And you have +missed one or two things, you know, by being away." + +"The Lord Mayor's Show?" asked Elfrida, angry that she +could not restrain the curl of her lip. + +"Oh dear, no! That comes off in November--don't you +remember? Things at the theatres chiefly. Oh, Jessie, +Jessie!" she went on, shaking her head at the maid who +had come in with the tray, "you're a quarter of an hour +late with tea! Make it for us now, where you are, and +remember that Miss Bell doesn't like cream." + +The maid blushed and smiled under the easy reproof, and +did as she was told. Janet chatted on pleasantly about +the one or two first nights she had seen, and Elfrida +felt for a moment that the situation was hopelessly +changed. She had an intense, unreasonable indignation. +The maid had scarcely left the room when her blind search +for means of retaliation succeeded. + +"But one is not necessarily wholly Without diversions in +the provinces. I had, for instance, the pleasure of a +visit from Mr. Cardiff." + +"Oh yes, I heard of that," Janet returned, smiling. "My +father thought that we were being improperly robbed of +your society, and went to try to persuade you to return, +didn't he? I told him I thought it a shocking liberty; +but you ought to forgive him--on the ground of his +disappointment." + +The cup Elfrida held shook in its saucer, and she put it +down to silence it. Janet did not know, did not suspect, +then. Well, she should; her indifference was too maddening. + +"Under the circumstances it was not a liberty at all. +Mr. Cardiff wanted me to come back to marry him." + +There! It was done, and as brutally as possible. Her +vanity was avenged--she could have her triumphs too. And +instant with its gratification came the cold recoil of +herself upon herself, a sense of shame, a longing to +undo. + +Janet took the announcement with the very slightest +lifting of her eyebrows. She bent her head and stirred +her teacup meditatively, then looked up gravely at Elfrida. + +"Really?" she said. "And may I ask--whether you _have_ +come back for that?" + +"I--I hardly know," Elfrida faltered. "You know what I +think about marriage--there is so much to consider." + +"Doubtless," Janet returned. Her head was throbbing with +the question why this girl would not go--go--_go!_ How +had she the hardihood to stay another instant! At any +moment her father might come in, and then how could she +support the situation? But all she added was, "I am afraid +it is a matter which we cannot very well discuss." Then +a bold thought came to her, and without weighing it she +put it into words. The answer might put everything +definitely--so definitely--at an end. + +"Mr. Kendal went to remonstrate with you, too, didn't +he? It must have been very troublesome and embarrassing--" + +Janet stopped. Elfrida had turned paler, and her eyes +greatened with excitement. "_No,_" she said, "I did not +see Mr. Kendal. What do you mean? Tell me!" + +"Perhaps I have no right. But he told me that he had seen +you, at Cheynemouth." + +"He must have been in the audience," Elfrida returned, +in a voice that was hardly audible. + +"Perhaps." + +For a moment there was silence between them--a natural +silence, and no dumbness. They had forgotten about +themselves in the absorption of other thoughts. + +"I must go," Elfrida said, with an effort; rising. What +had come to her with this thing Janet had told her? Why +had she this strange fullness in the beating of her heart, +this sense, part of shame, part of fright, part of +happiness, that had taken possession of her? What had +become of her strained feeling about Janet? For it had +gone, gone utterly, and with it all her pride, all her +self-control. She was conscious only of a great need of +somebody's strength, of somebody's thought and interest +--of Janet's. Yet how could she unsay anything? She held +out her hand, and Janet took it. "Good-by, then," she +said. + +"Good-by; I hope you will escape the rain." But at the +door Elfrida turned and came back. Janet was mechanically +stirring the coals in the grate. + +"Listen!" she said. "I want to tell you something about +myself." + +Janet looked up with an inward impatience. She knew these +little repentant self-revealings so well. + +"I know I'm a beast--I can't help it. Ever since I heard +of your success I've been hating it! You can laugh if +you like, but I've been _jealous_--oh, I'm not deceived; +very well, we are acquainted, myself and I! It's pure +jealousy--I admit it. I despise it, but there it is. You +have everything; you succeed in _all_ the things you +do--you suffocate me--do you understand? _Always_ the +first place, always the attention, the consideration, +wherever we go together. And your pretence--your _lie_ +--of believing my work as good as yours! I believe it +--yes, I do, but you _do not_. Oh, I know you through +and through, Janet Cardiff! And altogether," she went on +passionately, "it has been too much for me. I have not +been able to govern it. I have yielded, _miserable_ that +I am. But just now I felt it going away from me, Janet--" +She paused, but there was no answer. Janet was looking +contemplatively into the fire. + +"And I made up my mind to say it straight out. It is +better so, don't you think?" + +"Oh yes, it is better so." + +"I hate you sometimes--when you suffocate me with your +cleverness--but I admire you _tremendously_ always. So +I suppose we can go on, can't we?" + +"Ah!" Elfrida cried, noting Janet's hesitation with a +kind of wonder--how should it be exacted of her to be +anything more than frank? "I will go a step further to +come back to you, my Janet. I will tell you a secret--the +first one I ever had. Don't be afraid that I shall become +your stepmother and hate me in advance. That is too +absurd!" and the girl laughed ringingly. "Because--I +believe I am in love with John Kendal!" + +For answer Janet turned to her with the look of one +pressed to the last extremity. "Is it true that you are +going to write your own experiences in the _corps de +ballet?_" she asked ironically. + +"Quite true. I have done three chapters already. What +do you think of it? Isn't it a good idea?" + +"Do you really want to know?" + +"Of course!" + +"I think," said Janet slowly, looking into the fire, +"that the scheme is a contemptible one, and that you are +doing a very poor sort of thing in carrying it out." + +"Thanks," Elfrida returned. "We are all pretty much alike, +we women, aren't we, after all! Only some of us say so +and some of us don't. But I shouldn't have thought you +would have objected to my small rivalry _before the +fact!_" + +Janet sighed wearily, and looked out of the window. "Let +me lend you an umbrella," she said; "the rain has come." + +"It won't be necessary, thanks," Elfrida returned. "I +hear Mr. Cardiff coming upstairs. I shall ask him to take +care of me as far as the omnibuses. Good-by!" + + + + +CHAPTER XXVIII. + +"Oh but--but," cried Elfrida, tragic-eyed, "you don't +understand, my friend. And these pretences of mine are +unendurable--I won't make another. This is the real +reason why I can't go to your house: Janet knows +--everything there is to know. I told her--I myself--in +a fit of rage ten days ago, and then she said things and +I said things, and--and there is nothing now between us +any more!" + +Lawrence Cardiff looked grave. "I am sorry for that," he +said. + +A middle-aged gentleman in apparently hopeless love does +not confide in his grown-up daughter, and Janet's father +had hardly thought of her seriously in connection with +this new relation, which was to him so precarious and so +sweet. Its realization had never been close enough for +practical considerations; it was an image, something in +the clouds; and if he still hoped and longed for its +materialization there were times when he feared even to +regard it too closely lest it should vanish. His first +thought at this announcement of Elfrida's was of what it +might signify of change, what bearing it had upon her +feeling, upon her intention. Then he thought of its +immediate results, which seemed to be unfortunate. But +in the instant he had for reflection he did not consider +Janet at all. + +"Ah, yes! It was contemptible--but _contemptible!_ I did +it partly to hurt her, and partly, I think, to gratify +my vanity. You would not have thought anything so bad of +me perhaps?" She looked up at him childishly. They were +strolling about the quiet spaces of the Temple Courts. +It was a pleasant afternoon in February, the new grass +was pushing up. They could be quite occupied with one +another--they had the place almost to themselves. +Elfrida's well-fitting shabby little jacket hung unbuttoned, +and she swung Cardiff's light walking-stick as they +sauntered. He, with his eyes on her delicately flushed +face and his hands unprofessorially in his pockets, was +counting the minutes that were left them. + +"You wouldn't have, would you?" she insisted. + +"I would think any womanly fault you like of you," he +laughed, "but one--the fear to confess it." + +Elfrida shut her lips with a little proud smile. "Do +you know," she said confidingly, "when you say things +like that to me I like you very much--but _very much!_" + +"But not enough," he answered her quickly, "never enough, +Frida?" + +The girl's expression changed. "You are not to call me +'Frida,'" she said, frowning a little. "It has an +association that will always be painful to me. When +people--disappoint me, I try to forget them in every way +I can." She paused, and Cardiff saw that her eyes were +full of tears. He had an instant of intense resentment +against his daughter. What brutality had she been guilty +of toward Elfrida in that moment of unreasonable jealousy +that surged up between them? He would fiercely like to +know. But Elfrida was smiling again, looking up at him +in wilful disregard of her wet eyes. + +"Say 'Elfrida' please--all of it." + +They had reached the Inner Temple Hall. "Let us go in +there and sit down," he suggested. "You must be tired--dear +child." + +She hesitated and submitted. "Yes, I am," she said. +Presently they were sitting on one of the long dark +polished wooden benches in the quiet and the rich light +the ages have left in this place, keeping a mutual moment +of silence. "How splendid it is!" Elfrida said restlessly, +looking at the great carved wooden screen they had come +through. + +"The man who did that had a joy in his life, hadn't he? +To-day is very cheap and common, don't you think?" + +He had hardly words to answer her vague question, so +absorbed was he in the beauty and the grace and the +interest with which she had suddenly invested the +high-backed corner she sat in. He felt no desire to +analyze her charm. He did not ask himself whether it was +the poetry of her eyes and lips, or her sincerity about +herself, or the joy in art that was the key to her soul, +or all of these, or something that was none of them. He +simply allowed himself to be possessed by it and Elfrida +saw his pleasure in his eager look and in every line of +his delicate features. It was delicious to be able to +give such pleasure, she thought. She felt like a thrice +spiritualized Hebe, lifting the cup, not to Jove, but to +a very superior mortal. She wished in effect, as she +looked at him, that he were of her essence--she might be +cup-bearer to him always then. It was a graceful and +unexacting occupation. But he was not absolutely, and +the question was how long--She started as he seemed to +voice her thought. + +"This can't go on, Elfrida!" + +Cardiff had somehow possessed himself of her hand as it +lay along the polished edge of the wooden seat. It was +a privilege, she permitted him sometimes, with the tacit +understanding that he was not to abuse it. + +"And why not--for a little while? It is pleasant, I +think." + +"If you were in love you would know why. You are not, I +know--you needn't say so. But it will come, Elfrida--only +give it the chance. I would stake my soul on the certainty +of being able to make you love me." His confidence in +the power of his own passion was as strong as a boy's of +twenty. + +"If I were in love!" Elfrida repeated slowly, with an +absent smile. "And you think it would come afterward. +That is an exploded idea, my friend. I should feel as +if I were acting out an old-fashioned novel--an +old-fashioned _second-rate_ novel." + +She looked at him with eyes that invited him to share +their laughter, but the smile he gave her was pitiful, +if she could have known it. The strain she had bee putting +upon him, and promised indefinitely to put upon him, was +growing greater than he could bear. + +"I am afraid I most ask you to decide," he said. "You +have been telling me two things, dear. One thing with +your lips and another thing with your eyes--and ways of +doing. You tell me that I, must go, but you make it +possible for me to stay. For God's sake let it be one or +the other." + +"I am so sorry. We could be friends of a sort, I think, +but I can't marry you." + +"You have never told me why." + +"Shall I tell you truly, literally--brutally?" + +"Of course!" + +"Then it is not only because I don't love you--that there +is not for me the common temptation to enter a form of +bondage which, as I see it, is hateful. That is enough, +but it is not all; it is not even the principal thing. +It is"--she hesitated--"it is that--that we are different, +you and I. It would-be preposterous," she went on hastily, +"not to admit that you are infinitely superior--of +course--and cleverer and wiser and more important in the +world. And that will make me absurd in your eyes when I +tell you that my whole life is wrapped up in a sense +which I cannot see or feel that you have at all. You have +much--oh, a great deal--outside of it, and I have nothing. +My life is swayed in obedience to laws that you do not +even know of. You can hardly be my friend, completely. +As your wife I should suffer and you would suffer, in a +false position which could never be altered." + +She paused and looked at him seriously, and he felt that +she believed what she had said. She had, at all events, +given him full permission to go. And he was as far from +being able to avail of himself of it as he had been +before--further, for every moment those slender fingers +rested in his made it more impossible to relinquish them, +for always. So, he persisted, with a bitter sense of +failure that would not wholly, honestly recognize itself. + +"Is Golightly Ticke your friend--completely?" + +"More--pardon me--than you could ever be," she answered +him, undaunted by the contempt in his tone. + +There was silence for a moment between them. Elfrida's +wide-eyed gaze wandered appreciatively over the dusky +interior, which for the man beside her barely existed. + +"What a lot of English character there is here," she said +softly. "How dignified it is, and conscientious, and +restrained!" + +It was as if she had not spoken. Cardiff stared with knit +brows into the insoluble problem she had presented to +him a moment longer. "_How_ are we so different, Elfrida?" +he broke out passionately. "You are a woman and I am a +man; the world has dealt with us, educated us, differently, +and I am older than I dare say I ought to be to hope for +your love. But these are not differences that count, +whatever their results may be. It seems to me trivial to +speak of such things in this connection, but we like very +much the same books, the same people. I grant you I don't +know anything about pictures; but surely," he pleaded, +"these are not the things that cut a man off from the +happiness of a lifetime!" + +"I'm afraid--" she began, and then she broke off suddenly. +"I _am_ sorry--sorrier than I have ever been before, I +think. I should have liked so well to keep your friendship; +it is the most chivalrous I know. But if you feel like--like +this about it I suppose I must not. Shall we say good-by +here and now? Truly I am sorry." + +She had risen, and he could find no words to stay her. +It seemed that the battle to possess her was over, and +that he, had lost. Her desire for his friendship had all +the mockery of freedom in it to him--in the agony of the +moment it insulted him. With an effort he controlled +himself--there should be no more of the futility of words. +He must see the last of her some time--let it be now, +then. He bent his head over the slender hand he held, +brought his lips to it, and then, with sudden passion, +kissed it hotly again and again, seeking the warm, +uncovered little spot above the fastening. Elfrida snatched +it away with a little shiver at the contact, a little +angry shiver of surprised nerves. He looked at her +piteously, struggling for a word, for any word to send +away her repulsion, to bring her back to the mood of the +moment before. But he could not find it; he seemed to +have drifted hopelessly from her, to have lost all his +reckonings. + +"Well?" she said. She was held there partly by her sense +of pity and partly by her desire to see the last, the +very last of it. + +"Go!" he returned, with a shrinking of pain at the word, +"I cannot." + +"_Pauvre ami!_" she said softly, and then she turned, +and her light steps sounded back to him through the length +of the hall. + +She walked more slowly when she reached the pavement +outside, and one who met her might have thought she +indulged in a fairly pleasant reverie. A little smile +curved about the corners of her mouth, half compassionate, +half amused and triumphant. She had barely time to banish +it when she heard Cardiff's step beside her, and his +voice. + +"I had to come after you," he said; "I've let you carry +off my stick." + +She looked at him in mischievous challenge of his +subterfuge, and he added frankly, with a voice that shook +a little notwithstanding-- + +"It's of no use--I find I must accept your compromise. +It is very good of you to be willing to make one. And I +can't let you go altogether, Elfrida." + +She gave him a happy smile. "And now," she said, "shall +we talk of something else?" + + + + +CHAPTER XXIX. + +March brought John Kendal back to town with a few Devonshire +studies and a kindling discontent with the three subjects +he had in hand for the May exhibitions. It spread over +everything he had done for the last six months when he +found himself alone with his canvases and whole-hearted +toward them. He recognized that he had been dividing +his interest, that his ambition had suffered, that his +hand did not leap as it had before at the suggestion of +some lyric or dramatic possibility of color. He even +fancied that his drawing, which was his vulnerable point, +had worsened. He worked strenuously for days without +satisfying himself that he had recovered ground appreciably, +and then came desperately to the conclusion that he wanted +the stimulus of a new idea, a subject altogether +disassociated with anything he had done. It was only, he +felt, when his spirit was wholly in bondage to the charm +of his work that he could do it well, and he needed to +be bound afresh. Literally, he told himself, the only +thing he had painted in months that pleased him was that +mere sketch, from memory, of the Halifax drawing-room +episode. He dragged it out and looked at it, under its +damaging red stripes, with enthusiasm. Whatever she did +with herself, he thought, Elfrida Bell was curiously +satisfying from an artistic point of view. He fell into +a train of meditation, which quickened presently into a +practical idea that set him striding up and down the room. + +"I believe she would be delighted!" he said aloud, coming +to a sudden standstill; "and, by Jove, it would be a kind +of reparation!" + +He delved into an abysmal cupboard for a crusted pen and +a cobwebby bottle of ink, and was presently sitting among +the fragments of three notes addressed, one after the +other, to "Dear Miss Bell." In the end he wrote a single +line without any formality whatever, and when Elfrida +opened it an hour later she read: + + "Will you let me paint your portrait for the Academy? + + "JOHN-KENDAL. + + "P.S.--Or any other exhibition you may prefer." + +The last line was a stroke of policy. "She abhors Burlington +House," he had reflected. + +The answer came next day, and he tore it open with rapid +fingers. "I can't think why--but if you wish it, yes. +But why not for the Academy, since you are disposed to +do me that honor?" + +"Characteristic," thought Kendal grimly, as he tore up +the note. "She can't think why. But I'm glad the Academy +doesn't stick in her pretty throat--I was afraid it +would. It's the potent influence of the Private View." + +He wrote immediately in joyful gratitude to make an +appointment for the next day, went to work vigorously +about his preparations, and when he had finished smoked +a series of pipes to calm the turbulence of his +anticipations. As a neighboring clock struck five he put +on his coat. Janet must know about this new idea of his; +he longed to tell her, to talk about it over the +old-fashioned Spode cup of tea she would give him--Janet +was a connoisseur in tea. He realized as he went downstairs +how much of the pleasure of his life was centering in +these occasional afternoon gossips with her, in the +mingled delight of her interest and the fragrance and +the comfort of that half-hour over the Spode tea-cup. +The association brought him a reminiscence that sent him +smiling to the nearest confectioner's shop, where he +ordered a supply of Italian cakes against the next day +that would make an ample provision for the advent of half +a dozen unexpected visitors to the studio. He would have +to do his best with afternoon sittings, Elfrida was not +available in the morning; and he thought compassionately +that his sitter must not be starved. "I will feed her +first," he thought ironically, remembering her keen +childish enjoyment of sugared things. "She will pose all +the better for some tea." And he walked on to Kensington +Square. + + + + +CHAPTER XXX. + +"Janet," said Lawrence Cardiff a week later at breakfast, +"the Halifaxes have decided upon their American tour. I +saw Lady Halifax last night and she tells me they sail +on the twenty-first. They want you to go with them. Do +you feel disposed to do it?" + +Mr. Cardiff looked at his daughter with eyes from which +the hardness that entered them weeks before in the Temple +Courts had never quite disappeared. His face was worn +and thin, its delicacy had sharpened, and he carried +about with him an habitual abstraction. Janet, regarding +him day after day in the light of her secret knowledge, +gave herself up to an inward storm of anger and grief +and anxiety. Elfrida's name had been tacitly dropped +between them, but to Janet's sensitiveness she was +constantly and painfully to be reckoned with in their +common life. Lawrence Cardiff's moods were accountable +to his daughter obviously by Elfrida's influence. She +noted bitterly that his old evenness of temper, the gay +placidity that made so delightful a basis for their joint +happiness, had absolutely disappeared. Instead, she found +her father either irritable or despondent, or inspired +by a gaiety which she had no hand in producing, and which +took no account of her. That was the real pain. Janet +was keenly distressed at the little drama of suffering +that unfolded itself daily before her, but her disapproval +of its cause very much blunted her sense of its seriousness. +She had, besides, a grown-up daughter's repulsion and +impatience for a parental love-affair, and it is doubtful +whether she would have brought her father's to a happy +conclusion without a very severe struggle if she had +possessed the power to do it. But this exclusion gave +her a keener pang; she had shared so much with him before, +had been so important to him always. And now he could +propose, with perfect equanimity that she should go to +America with the Halifaxes. + +"But you could not get away by the twenty-first," she +returned, trying to take it for granted that the idea +included him. + +"Oh, I don't propose going," Mr. Cardiff returned from +behind his newspaper. + +"But, daddy, they intend to be away for a year." + +"About that. Lady Halifax has arranged a capital itinerary. +They mean to come back by India." + +"And pray what would become of you all by yourself for +a year, sir?" asked Janet brightly. "Besides, we were +always going to do that trip together." She had a stubborn +inward determination not to recognize this difference +that had sprung up between them. It was only a phase, +she told herself, of her father's miserable feeling just +now; it would last another week, another fortnight, and +then things would be as they had been before. She would +not let herself believe in it, hurt as it might. + +Mr. Cardiff lowered his paper. "Don't think of that," he +said over the top of it. "There is really no occasion. +I shall get on very well. There is always the club, you +know. And this is an opportunity you ought not to miss." + +Janet said nothing, and Lawrence Cardiff went back to +his newspaper. She tried to go on with her breakfast, +but scalding tears stood in her eyes, and she could not +swallow. She was unable to command herself far enough to +ask to be excused, and she rose abruptly and left the +room with her face turned carefully away. + +Cardiff followed her with his eyes and gave an +uncomprehending shrug. He looked at his watch; there was +still half an hour before he need leave the house. It +brought him an uncomfortable thought that he might go +and comfort Janet--it was evident that something he had +said had hurt her--she was growing absurdly hypersensitive. +He dismissed the idea--Heaven only knew into what +complications it might lead them. He spent the time +instead in a restless walk up and down the room, revolving +whether Elfrida Bell would or would not be brought to +reconsider her refusal to let him take her to "Faust" +that night--he never could depend upon her. + +Janet had not seen John Kendal since the afternoon he +came to her radiant with his intention of putting all of +Elfrida's elusive charm upon canvas, full of its intrinsic +difficulties, eager for her sympathy, depending on her +enthusiastic interest. She had disappointed him--she did +her best, but the sympathy and enthusiasm and interest +would not come. She could not tell him why--her broken +friendship was still sacred to her for what it had been. +Besides, explanations were impossible. So she listened +and approved with a strained smile, and led him, with a +persistence he did not understand, to talk of other +things. He went away chilled and baffled, and he had not +come again. She knew that he was painting with every +nerve tense and eager, in oblivion to all but his work +and the face that inspired it. Elfrida, he told her, was +to give him three sittings a week, of an hour each, and +he complained of the scantiness of the dole. She could +conjure up those hours, all too short for his delight in +his model and his work. Surely it would not be long now! +Elfrida cared, by her own confession--Janet felt, dully, +there could now be no doubt of that--and since Elfrida +cared, what could be more certain than the natural issue? +She fought with herself to accept it; she spent hours in +seeking for the indifference that might come of accustoming +herself to the fact. And when she thought of her father +she hoped that it might be soon. + +There came a day when Lawrence Cardiff gave, his daughter +the happiness of being almost his other self again. He +had come downstairs with a headache and a touch of fever, +and all day long he let her take care of him submissively, +with the old pleasant gratitude that seemed to re-establish +their comradeship. She had a joyful secret wonder at the +change, it was so sadden and so complete; but their +sympathetic relation reasserted itself naturally and at +once, and she would not let herself question it. In the +evening he sent her to her room for a book of his, and +when she brought it to him where he lay upon the lounge +in the library he detained her a moment. + +"You mustn't attempt to read without a lamp now, daddy," +she said, touching his forehead lightly with her lips. +"You will damage your poor old eyes." + +"Don't be impertinent about my poor old eyes, miss," he +returned, smiling. "Janet, there is something I think +you ought to know." + +"Yes, daddy." The girl felt herself turning rigid. + +"I want you to make friends with Elfrida again. I have +every reason to believe--at all events some reason to +believe--that she will become my wife." Her knowing +already made it simpler to say. + +"Has--has she promised, daddy?" + +"Not exactly. But I think she will, Janet." His tone was +very confident. "And of course you must forgive each +other any little heart-burnings there may have been +between you." + +Any little heart-burnings! Janet had a quivering moment +of indecision. "Oh, daddy! she won't! she won't!" she +cried tumultuously, and hurried out of the room. Cardiff +lay still, smiling pityingly. What odd ideas women managed +to get into their heads about one another! Janet thought +Elfrida would refuse her overtures if she made them. +How little she knew Elfrida--his just, candid, generous +Elfrida! + +Janet flung herself upon her bed and faced the situation, +dry-eyed, with burning cheeks. She could always face a +situation when it admitted the possibility of anything +being done, when there was a chance for resolution and +action. Practical difficulties nerved her; it was only +before the blankness of a problem of pure abstractness +that she quailed--such a problem as the complication of +her relation to John Kendal and to Elfrida Bell. She had +shrunk from that for months, had put it away habitually +in the furthest corner of her consciousness, and had done +her best to make it stay there. She discovered how sore +its fret had been only with the relief she felt when she +simplified it at a stroke that afternoon on which everything +came to an end between her and Elfrida. Since the burden +of obligation their relation imposed had been removed +Janet had analyzed her friendship, and had found it +wanting in many ways to which she had been wilfully blind +before. The criticism she had always silenced came forward +and spoke boldly; and she recognized the impossibility +of a whole-hearted intimacy where a need for enforced +dumbness existed. All the girl's charm she acknowledged +with a heart wrung by the thought that it was no longer +for her. She dwelt separately and long upon Elfrida's +keen sense of justice, her impulsive generosity, her +refined consideration for other people, the delicacy of +some of her personal instincts, her absolute sincerity +toward herself and the world, her passionate exaltation +of what was to her the ideal in art. Janet exacted from +herself the last jot of justice toward Elfrida in all +these things; and then she listened, as she had not done +before, to the voice that spoke to her from the very +depths of her being, it seemed, and said, "Nevertheless, +_no!_" She only half comprehended, and the words brought +her a sadness that would be long, she knew, in leaving +her; but she listened and agreed. + +And now it seemed to her that she must ignore it again, +that the wise, the necessary, the expedient thing to do +was to go to Elfrida and re-establish, if she could, the +old relation, cost what it might. She must take up her +burden of obligation again in order that it might be +mutual. Then she would have the right to beg Elfrida to +stop playing fast and loose with her father, to act +decisively. If Elfrida only knew, only realized, the +difference it made, and how little right she had to +control, at her whim, the happiness of any human being +--and Janet brought a strong hand to bear upon her +indignation, for she had resolved to go; and to go that +night. + +Lawrence-Cardiff bade his daughter an early, good-night +after their unusually pleasant dinner. "Do you think +you can do it?" he asked her before he went Janet started +at the question, for they had not mentioned Elfrida again, +even remotely. + +"I think I can, daddy," she answered him gravely, and +they separated. She looked at her watch; by half-past +nine she could be in Essex Court. + +Yes, Miss Bell was in, Miss Cardiff could go straight +up, Mrs. Jordan informed her, and she mounted the last +flight of stairs with a beating heart. Her mission was +important--oh, so important! She had compromised with +her conscience in planning it, and now if it should fail! +Her hand trembled as she knocked. In answer to Elfrida's +"Come in!" she pushed the door slowly open. "It is I, +Janet," she said; "may I?" + +"But of course!" + +Elfrida rose from a confusion of sheets of manuscript +upon the table and came forward, holding out her hand +with an odd gleam in her eyes, and an amused, slightly +excited smile about her lips. + +"How do you, do?" she said, with rather ostentatiously +suppressed wonder. "Please sit down, but not in that +chair. It is not quite reliable. This one, I think is +better. How are--how are _you?_" + +The slight emphasis she placed on the last word was airy +and regardless. Janet would have preferred to have been +met by one of the old affectations; she would have felt +herself taken more seriously. + +"It's very late to come, and I interrupt you," she said +awkwardly, glancing at the manuscript. + +"Not at all. I am very happy--" + +"But of course I had a special reason for coming. It is +serious enough, I think, to justify me." + +"What can it be!" + +"_Don't_, Elfrida," Janet cried passionately. "Listen +to me. I have come to try to make things right again +between us--to ask you to forgive me for speaking as +I--as I did about your writing that day. I am sorry--I +am, indeed." + +"I don't quite understand. You ask me to _forgive_ +you--but what question is there of forgiveness? You had +a perfect right to your opinion, and I was glad to have +it at last from you, frankly." + +"But it offended you, Elfrida. It is what is accountable +for the--the rupture between us." + +"Perhaps. But not because it hurt my feelings," Elfrida +returned scornfully, "in the ordinary sense. It offended +me truly; but in quite another way. In what you said you +put me on a different plane from yourself in the matter +of artistic execution. Very well. I am content to stay +there--in your opinion. But why this talk of forgiveness? +Neither of us can alter anything. Only," Elfrida breathed +quickly, "be sure that I will not be accepted by you upon +those terms." + +"That, wasn't what I meant in the least." + +"What else could you have meant? And more than that," +Elfrida went on rapidly--her phrases had the patness of +formed conclusions--"what you said betrayed a totally +different conception of art, as it expresses itself in +the nudity of things, from the one I supposed you to +hold. And, if you will pardon me for saying so, a much +lower one. It seems to me that we cannot hold together +there--that our aims and creeds are different, and that +we have been comrades under false pretences. Perhaps we +are both to blame for that; but we cannot change it, or +the fact that we have found it out." + +Janet bit her lip. The "nudity of things" brought her an +instant's impulse toward hysteria--it was so characteristic +a touch of candid exaggeration. But her need for reflection +helped her to control it. Elfrida had taken a different +ground from the one she expected--it was less simple, +and a mere apology, however sincere, would not meet it. +But there was one thing more which she could say, and +with an effort she said it. + +"Elfrida, suppose that, even as an expression of +opinion--putting it aside as an expression of feeling +toward you--what I said that day was not quite sincere. +Suppose that I was not quite mistress of myself--I would +rather not tell you why--" + +"Is that true?" asked Elfrida directly. + +"Yes, it is true. For the moment I wanted more than +anything else in the world to break with you. I took +the surest means." + +The other girl regarded Janet steadfastly. "But if it is +only a question of the _degree_ of your sincerity," she +persisted, "I cannot see that the situation alters much." + +"I was not altogether responsible, believe me, Elfrida. +I don't remember now what I said, but--but I am afraid +it must have taken all its color from my feeling." + +"Of course." Elfrida hesitated, and her tone showed her +touched. "I can understand that what I told you about +--about Mr. Cardiff must have been a shock. For the moment +I became an animal, and turned upon you--upon you who +had been to me the very soul of kindness. I have hated +myself for it--you may be sure of that." + +Janet Cardiff had a moment's inward struggle, and yielded. +She would let Elfrida believe it had been that. After +all it was partly true, and her lips refused absolutely +to say the rest. + +"Yes, it must have hurt you--more, perhaps, than I can +guess." Elfrida's eyes grew wet and her voice shook. "But +I can't understand your retaliating that way, if you +didn't believe what you said. And if you believed it, +what more is there to say?" + +Janet felt herself possessed by an intense sensation of +playing for stakes, unusual, exciting, and of some personal +importance. She did not pause to regard her attitude from +any other point of view; she succumbed at once, not +without enjoyment, to the necessity for diplomacy. Under +its rush of suggestions her conscience was only vaguely +restive. To-morrow it would assert itself; unconsciously +she put off paying attention to it until then. Elfrida +must come back to her. For the moment the need was to +choose her plea. + +"It seems to me," she said slowly, "that there is something +between us which is indestructible, Frida. We didn't +make it, and we can't unmake it. For my part, I think it +is worth our preserving, but I don't believe we could +lose it if we tried. You may put me away from you for +any reason that seems good to you, as far as you like, +but so long as we both live there will be that something, +recognized or unrecognized. All we can do arbitrarily is +to make it a joy or a pain of it. Haven't you felt that?" + +The other girl looked at her uncertainly. "I have felt +it sometimes," she said, "but now it seems to me that I +can never be sure that there is not some qualification +in it--some hidden flaw." + +"Don't you think it's worth making the best of? Can't we +make up our minds to have a little charity for the flaws?" + +Elfrida shook her head. "I don't think I'm capable of a +friendship that demands charity," she said. + +"And yet, whether we close each other's lips or not, we +will always have things to say, the one to the other, in +this world. Is it to be dumbness between us?" + +There was a moment's silence in the room--a crucial +moment, it seemed to both of them. Elfrida sat against +the table with her elbows among its litter of paged +manuscript, her face hidden in her hands. Janet rose and +took a step or two toward her. Then she paused, and looked +at the little bronze image on the table instead. Elfrida +was suddenly shaken by deep, indrawn, silent sobs. + +"It is finished, then," Janet said softly; "we are to +separate for always, Buddha, she and I. She will not know +any more of me nor I of her--it will be, so far as we +can make it, like the grave. You must belong to a strange +world, Buddha, always to smile!" She spoke evenly quietly, +with, restraint, and still she did not look at the +convulsively silent figure in the chair. "But I am glad +you will always keep that face for her, Buddha. I hope +the world will, too, our world that is sometimes more +bitter than you can understand. And I say good-by to you, +for to her I cannot say it." And she turned to go. + +Elfrida stumbled to her feet and hurried to the door. +"No!" she said, holding it fast. "No! You must not go +that way--I owe you too much, after all. We will--we will +make the best of it." + +"Not on that ground," Janet answered gravely. "Neither +your friendship nor mine is purchasable, I hope." + +"No, no! That was bad. On any ground you like. Only stay +a little--let us find ourselves again!" + +Elfrida forced a smile into what she said, and Janet let +herself be drawn back to a chair. + +It was nearly midnight when she found herself again in +her cab, driving through the empty lamplit Strand toward +Kensington. She had prevailed, and now she had to scrutinize +her methods. That necessity urged itself beyond her power +to turn away from it, and left her sick at heart. She +had prevailed--Elfrida, she believed, was hers again. +They had talked as candidly as might be of her father. +Elfrida had promised nothing, but she would, bring matters +to an end, Janet knew she would, in a day or two, when +she had had time to think how intolerable the situation +would be if she didn't. Janet remembered with wonder, +however, how little Elfrida seemed to realize that it +need make any difference between them compared with other +things, and what a trivial concession she thought it +beside the restoration of the privileges of her friendship. +The girl asked herself drearily how it would be possible +that she should ever forget the frank cynical surprise +with which Elfrida had received her entreaty, based on +the fact of her father's unrest and the wretchedness of +his false hopes--"You have your success; does it really +matter--so very much?" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXI. + +"To-day, remember. You promised that I should see it +to-day," Elfrida reminded Kendal, dropping instantly into +the pose they had jointly decided on. "I know I'm late, +but you will not punish me by another postponement, will +you?" + +Kendal looked sternly at his watch. "A good twenty minutes, +mademoiselle," he returned aggrievedly. "It would be only +justice--poetic justice--to say no. But I think you may, +if we get on to-day." + +He was already at work, turning from the texture of the +rounded throat which occupied him before she came in, to +the more serious problem of the nuances of expression in +the face. It was a whim of his, based partly upon a +cautiousness, of which he was hardly aware, that she +should not see the portrait in its earlier stages, and +she had made a great concession of this. As it grew before +him, out of his consciousness, under his hand, he became +more and more aware that he would prefer to postpone her +seeing it, for reasons which he would not pause to define. +Certainly they were not connected with any sense of having +failed to do justice to his subject. Kendal felt an +exulting mastery over it which was the most intoxicating +sensation his work had ever brought him. He had, as he +painted, a silent, brooding triumph in his manipulation, +in his control. He gave himself up to the delight of his +insight, the power of his reproduction, and to the intense +satisfaction of knowing that out of the two there grew +something of more than usually keen intrinsic interest +within the wide creed of his art. He worked with every +nerve tense upon his conception of what he saw, which so +excluded other considerations that now and then, in answer +to some word of hers that distracted him, he spoke to +her almost roughly. At which Elfrida, with a little smile +of forgiving comprehension, obediently kept silence. +She saw the artist in him dominant, and she exulted for +his sake. It was to her delicious to be the medium of +his inspiration, delicious and fit and sweetly acceptable. +And they had agreed upon a charming pose. + +Presently Kendal lowered his brush impatiently. "Talk +to me a little," he said resentfully, ignoring his usual +preference that she should not talk because what she said +had always power to weaken the concentration of his +energy. "There is a little muteness about the lips. Am +I very unreasonable? But you don't know what a difficult +creature you are." + +She threw up her chin in one of her bewitching ways and +laughed. "I wouldn't be too simple," she returned. She +looked at him with the light of her laughter still in +her eyes, and went on: "I know I must be difficult +--tremendously difficult; because I, whom you see as an +individual, am so many people. Phases of character have +an attraction for me--I wear one to-day and another +to-morrow. It is very flippant, but you see I am honest +about it. And it must make me difficult to paint, for it +can be only by accident that I am the same person twice." + +Without answering Kendal made two or three rapid strokes. +"That's better," he said, as if to himself. "Go on talking, +please. What did you say?" + +"It doesn't seem to matter much," she answered, with a +little pout. "I said 'Baa, baa, black sheep, have you +any wool?'" + +"No, you didn't," returned Kendal as they laughed together. +"You said something about being like Cleopatra, a creature +of infinite variety, didn't you? About having a great +many disguises--" absently. "But--" + +Kendal fell into the absorbed silence of his work again, +leaving the sentence unfinished. He looked up at her with +a long, close, almost intimate scrutiny, under which and +his careless words she blushed hotly. + +"Then I hope you have chosen my most becoming disguise," +she cried imperiously, jumping up. "Now, if you please, +I will see." + +She stood beside the canvas with her eyes upon his face, +waiting for a sign from him. He, feeling, without knowing +definitely why, that a critical moment had come between +them, rose and stepped back a pace or two, involuntarily +pulling himself together to meet what she might say. +"Yes, you may look," he said, seeing that she would not +turn her head without his word; and waited. + +Elfrida took three or four steps beyond the easel and +faced it. In the first instant of her gaze her face grew +radiant. "Ah," she said softly, "how unconscionably you +must hare flattered me! I can't be so pretty as that." + +A look of relief shot across Kendal's face. "I'm glad +you like it," he said briefly. "It's a capital pose." + +The first thing that could possibly be observed, about +the portrait was its almost dramatic loveliness. The head +was turned a little, and the eyes regarded something +distant, with a half wishful, half deprecating dreaminess. +The lips were plaintively courageous, and the line of +the lifted chin and throat helped the pathetic eyes and +annihilated the heaviness of the other features. It was +as if the face made an expressive effort to subdue a +vitality which might otherwise have been aggressive; but +while the full value of this effect of spiritual pose +was caught and rendered, Kendal had done his work in a +vibrant significant chord of color that strove for the +personal force beneath it and brought it out. + +Elfrida dropped into the nearest chair, clasped her knees +in her hands, and bending forward, earnestly regarded +the canvas with a silence that presently became perceptible. +It seemed to Kendal at first, as he stood talking to her +of its technicalities, that she tested the worth of every +stroke; then he became aware that she was otherwise +occupied, and that she did not hear him. He paused and +stepped over to where, standing behind her chair, he +shared her point of view. Even the exaltation of his +success did not prevent his impatient wonder why his +relation with this girl must always be so uncomfortable. + +Then as he stood in silence looking with her, it seemed +that he saw with her, and the thing that he had done +revealed itself to him for the first time fully, +convincingly, with no appeal. He looked at it with curious, +painful interest, but without remorse, even in the +knowledge that she saw it too, and suffered. He realized +exultingly that he had done better work than he thought +--he might repent later, but for the moment he could feel +nothing but that. As to the girl before him, she was +simply the source and the reason of it--he was particularly +glad he had happened to come across her. + +He had echoed her talk of disguises, and his words embodied +the unconscious perception under which he worked. He had +selected a disguise, and, as she wished, a becoming one. +But he had not used it fairly, seriously. He had thrown +it over her face like a veil, if anything could be a veil +which rather revealed than hid, rather emphasized than +softened, the human secret of the face underneath. He +realized now that he had been guided by a broader +perception, by deeper instincts, in painting that. It +was the real Elfrida. + +There was still a moment before she spoke. He wondered +vaguely how she would take it, and he was conscious of +an anxiety to get it over. At last she rose and faced +him, with one hand, that trembled, resting on the back +of the chair. Her face wore a look that was almost +profound, and there was an acknowledgment in it, a degree +of submission, which startled him. + +"So that is how you have read me," she said, looking +again at the portrait "Oh, I do not find fault; I would +like to, but I dare not. I am not sure enough that you +are wrong--no, I am too sure that you are right. I am, +indeed, very much preoccupied with myself. I have always +been--I shall always be. Don't think I shall reform after +this moral shock as people do in books. I am what I am. +But I acknowledge that an egotist doesn't make an agreeable +picture, however charmingly you apologize for her. It is +a personality of stone, isn't it?--implacable, unchangeable. +I've often felt that." + +Kendal was incapable of denying a word of what she said. +"If it is any comfort to you to know it," he ventured, +"hardly any one will see in it what you--and I--see." + +"Yes," she said, with a smile, "that's true. I shan't +mind its going to the Academy." + +She sat down again and looked fixedly at the picture, +her chin propped in her hand. "Don't you feel," she said, +looking up at him with a little childish gesture of +confidence, "as if you had stolen something from me?" + +"Yes," Kendal declared honestly, "I do. I've taken +something you didn't intend me to have." + +"Well, I give it you--it is yours quite freely and +ungrudgingly. Don't feel that way any more. You have a +right to your divination," she Added bravely. + +"I would not withhold it if I could. Only--I hope you +find _something_ good in it. I think, myself, there is +something." + +Her look was a direct interrogation, and Kendal flinched +before it. "Dear creature," he murmured, "you are very +true to yourself." + +"And to you," she pleaded, "always to you too. Has there +ever been anything but the clearest honesty between us? +Ah, my friend, that is valuable--there are so few people +who inspire it." + +She had risen again, and he found himself shame-facedly +holding her hand. His conscience roused itself and smote +him mightily. Had there always been this absolute +single-mindedness between them? + +"You make it necessary for me to tell you," he said +slowly, "that there is one thing between us you do not +know. I saw you at Cheynemouth on the stage." + +"I know you did," she smiled at him. "Janet Cardiff let +it out, by accident I suppose you came, like Mr. Cardiff, +because you--disapproved. Then why didn't you remonstrate +with me? I've often wondered." Elfrida spoke softly, +dreamily. Her happiness seemed very near. Her self-surrender +was so perfect and his understanding, as it always had +been, so sweet, that the illusion of the moment was +cruelly perfect She raised her eyes to Kendal's with an +abandonment of tenderness in them that quickened his +heart-beats, man that he was. + +"Tell me, do _you_ want me to give it up--my book--last +night I finished it--my ambition?" + +She was ready with her sacrifice or for the instant; she +believed herself to be, and it was not wholly without an +effort that he put it away. On the pretence of picking +up his palette knife he relinquished her hand. + +"It is not a matter upon which I have permitted myself +a definite opinion," he said, more coldly than he intended, +"but for your own sake I should advise it." + +For her own sake! The room seemed full of the echo of +his words. A blank look crossed the girl's face; she +turned instinctively away from him and picked up her hat. +She put it on and buttoned her gloves without the faintest +knowledge of what she was doing; her senses were wholly +occupied with the comprehension of the collapse that had +taken place within her. It was the single moment of her +life when she differed, in any important way, from the +girl Kendal had painted. Her self-consciousness was a +wreck, she no longer controlled it; it tossed at the +mercy of her emotion. Her face was very white and painfully +empty, her eyes wandered uncertainly around the room, +unwilling above all things to meet Kendal's again. She +had forgotten about the portrait. + +"I will go, then," she said simply, without looking at +him, and this time, with a flash, Kendal comprehended +again. He held the door open for her mutely, with the +keenest pang his pleasant life had ever brought him, and +she passed out and down the dingy stairs. + +On the first landing she paused and turned. "I will never +be different," she said aloud, as if he were still beside +her, "I will never be different!" She unbuttoned one of +her gloves and fingered the curious silver ring that +gleamed uncertainly on her hand in the shabby light of +the staircase. The alternative within it, the alternative +like a bit of brown sugar, offered itself very suggestively +at the moment. She looked around her at the dingy place +she stood in, and in imagination threw herself across +the lowest step. Even at that miserable moment she was +aware of the strong, the artistic, the effective thing +to do. "And when he came down he might tread on me," she +said to herself, with a little shudder. "I wish I had +the courage. But no--it might hurt, after all. I am a +coward, too." + +She had an overwhelming realization of impotence in every +direction. It came upon her like a burden; under it she +grew sick and faint. At the door she stumbled, and she +was hardly sure of her steps to her cab, which was drawn +up by the curbstone, and in which she presently went +blindly home. + +By ten o'clock that night she had herself, in a manner, +in hand again. Her eyes were still wide and bitter, and +the baffled, uncomprehending look had not quite gone out +of them, but a line or two of cynical acceptance had +drawn themselves round her lips. She had sat so long and +so quietly regarding the situation that she became +conscious of the physical discomfort of stiffened limbs. +She leaned back in her chair and put her feet on another, +and lighted a cigarette. + +"No, Buddha," she said, as if to a confessor, "don't +think it of me. It was a lie, a pose to tempt him on. I +would never have given it up--never! It is more to me +--I am _almost_ sure--than he is. It is part of my soul, +Buddha, and my love for him--oh, I cannot tell!" + +She threw the cigarette away from her and stared at the +smiling image with heavy eyes in silence. Then she went +on: + +"But I always tell you everything, little bronze god, +and I won't keep back even this. There was a moment when +I would have let him take me in his arms and hold me +close, close to him. And I wish he had--I should have +had it to remember. Bah! why is my face hot! I might as +well be ashamed of wanting my dinner!" + +Again she dropped into silence, and when next she spoke +her whole face had hardened. + +"But no! He thinks that he has read me finally, that he +has done with me, that I no longer count! He will marry +some red-and-white cow of an Englishwoman who will accept +herself in the light of a reproductive agent and do her +duty by him accordingly. As I would not--no! Good heavens, +no! So perhaps it is as well, for I will go on loving +him, of course, and some day he will come back to me, in +his shackles, and together, whatever we do, we will make +no vulgar mess of it. In the meantime, Buddha, I will +smile, like you. + +"And there is always this, which is the best of me. You +agree, don't you, that it is the best of me?" She fingered +the manuscript in her lap. "All my power, all my joy, +the quintessence of my life! I think I shall be angry if +it has a common success, if the people like it too well. +I only want recognition for it--recognition and +acknowledgment and admission. I want George Meredith to +ask to be introduced to me!" She made rather a pitiful +effort to smile. "And that, Buddha, is what will happen." + +Mechanically she lighted another cigarette and turned +over her first rough pages--a copy had gone to +Rattray--looking for passages she had wrought most to +her satisfaction. They left her cold as she read them, +but she was not unaware that the reason of this lay +elsewhere; and when she went to bed she put the packet +under her pillow and slept a little better for the comfort +of it. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXII. + +In the week that followed Janet Cardiff's visit to +Elfrida's attic, these two young women went through a +curious reapproachment. At every step it was tentative, +but at every step it was also enjoyable. They made +sacrifices to meet on most days; they took long walks +together, and arranged lunches at out-of-the-way +restaurants; they canvassed eagerly such matters of +interest in the world that supremely attracted them as +had been lying undiscussed between them until now. The +intrinsic pleasure that was in each for the other had +been enhanced by deprivation, and they tasted it again +with a keenness of savor which was a surprise to both of +them. Their mutual understanding of most things, their +common point of view, reasserted itself more strongly +than ever as a mutual possession; they could not help +perceiving its value. Janet made a fairly successful +attempt to drown her sense of insincerity in the +recognition. She, Janet, was conscious of a deliberate +effort to widen and deepen the sympathy between them. An +obscure desire to make reparation, she hardly knew for +what, combined itself with a great longing to see their +friendship the altogether beautiful and perfect thing +its mirage was, and pushed her on to seize every opportunity +to fortify the place, she had retaken. Elfrida had never +found her so considerate, so appreciative, so amusing, +so prodigal of her gay ideas, or so much inclined to go +upon her knees at shrines before which she sometimes +stood and mocked. She had a special happiness in availing +herself of an opportunity which resulted in Elfrida's +receiving a letter from the editor of the _St. George's_ +asking her for two or three articles on the American +Colony in Paris, and only very occasionally she recognized, +with a subtle thrill of disgust, that she was employing +diplomacy in every action, every word, almost every look +which concerned her friend. She asked herself then +despairingly how it could last and what good could come +of it, whereupon fifty considerations, armed with whips, +drove her on. + +Perhaps the most potent of these was the consciousness +that in spite of it all she was not wholly successful, +that as between Elfrida and herself things were not +entirely as they had been. They were cordial, they were +mutually appreciative, they had moments of expansive +intercourse; but Janet could not disguise to herself the +fact that there was a difference, the difference between +fit and fusion. The impression was not a strong one, +but she half suspected her friend now and then of intently +watching her, and she could not help observing how reticent +the girl had become upon certain subjects that touched +her personally. The actress in Elfrida was nevertheless +constantly supreme, and interfered with the trustworthiness +of any single impression. She could not resist the +pardoning role; she played it intermittently, with a +pretty impulsiveness that would have amused Miss Cardiff +more if it had irritated her less. For the certainty that +Elfrida would be her former self for three days together +Janet would have dispensed gladly with the little Bohemian +dinner in Essex Court in honor of her book, or the violets +that sometimes dropped out of Elfrida's notes, or even +the sudden but premeditated occasional offer of Elfrida's +lips. + +Meanwhile the Halifaxes were urging their western trip +upon her, Lady Halifax declaring roundly that she was +looking wretchedly, Miss Halifax suggesting playfully +the possibility of an American heroine for, her next +novel. Janet, repelling both publicly, admitted both +privately. She felt worn out physically, and when she +thought of producing another book her brain responded +with a helpless negative. She had been turning lately +with dogged conviction to her work as the only solace +life was likely to offer her, and anything that hinted +at loss of power filled her with blank dismay. She was +desperately weary and she wanted to forget, desiring, +besides, some sort of stimulus as a flagging swimmer +desires a rope. + +One more reason came and took possession of her common +sense. Between her father and Elfrida she felt herself +a complication. If she could bring herself to consent to +her own removal, the situation, she could not help seeing, +would be considerably simplified. She read plainly in +her father that the finality Elfrida promised had not +yet been given--doubtless an opportunity had not yet +occurred; and Janet was willing to concede that the +circumstances might require a rather special opportunity. +When it should occur she recognized that delicacy, decency +almost, demanded that she should be out of the way. She +shrank miserably from the prospect of being a daily +familiar looker-on at the spectacle of Lawrence Cardiff's +pain, and she had a knowledge that there would be somehow +an aggravation of it in her person. In a year everything +would mend itself more or less, she believed dully and +tried to feel. Her father would be the same again, with +his old good-humor and criticism of her enthusiasms, his +old interest in things and people, his old comradeship +for her. John Kendal would have married Elfrida Bell-- +what an idyll they would make of life together!--and she, +Janet, would have accepted the situation. Her interest +in the prospective pleasures on which Lady Halifax +expatiated was slight; she was obliged to speculate upon +its rising, which she did with all the confidence she +could command. She declined absolutely to read Bryce's +"American Commonwealth," or Miss Bird's account of the +Rocky Mountains, or anybody's travels in the Orient, upon +all of which Miss Halifax had painstakingly fixed her +attention; but one afternoon she ordered a blue serge +travelling-dress and refused one or two literary, +engagements for the present, and the next day wrote to +Lady Halifax that she had decided to go. Her father +received her decision with more relief than he meant to +show, and Janet had a bitter half-hour over it. Then +she plunged with energy into her arrangements, and +Lawrence, Cardiff made her inconsistently happy again +with the interest he took in them, supplemented by an +extremely dainty little travelling-clock. He became +suddenly so solicitous for her that she sometimes quivered +before the idea that he guessed all the reasons that were +putting her to flight, which gave her a wholly unnecessary +pang, for nothing would have astonished Lawrence Cardiff +more than to be confronted, at the moment, with any +passion that was not his own. + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIII. + +Kendal, as the door closed behind Elfrida on the afternoon +of her last sitting, shutting him in with himself and +the portrait on the easel, and the revelation she had +made, did his best to feel contrition, and wondered that +he was so little successful. He assured himself that he +had been a brute; yet in an uncompromising review of all +that he had ever said or done in connection with Elfrida +he failed to satisfy his own indignation with himself by +discovering any occasion upon which his brutality had +been particularly obvious. He remembered with involuntary +self-justification how distinctly she had insisted upon +_camaraderie_ between them, how she had spurned everything +that savored of another standard of manners on his, part, +how she had once actually had the curious taste to want +him to call her "old chap," and how it had grated. He +remembered her only half-veiled invitation, her challenge +to him to see as much as he cared, and to make what he +could of her. He was to blame for accepting, but he would +have been a conceited ass if he had thought of the danger +of a result like this. In the midst of his reflections +an idea came to him about the portrait, and he observed, +with irritation, after giving it a few touches, that the +light was irretrievably gone for the day. + +Next morning he worked for three hours at it without a +pang, and in the afternoon with relaxed nerves and a high +heart, he took his hat and turned his face toward Kensington +Square. The distance was considerable, but he walked +lightly, rapidly, with a conscious enjoyment of that form +of relief to his wrought nerves, his very limbs drawing +energy from the knowledge of his finished work. Never +before had he felt so completely the divine sense of +success, and though he had worked at the portrait with +passionate concentration from the beginning, this +realization had come to him only the day before, when, +stepping back to look with Elfrida, he saw what he had +done. Troubled as the revelation was, in it he saw himself +a master. He had for once escaped, and he felt that the +escape was a notable one, from the tyranny of his +brilliant-technique. He had subjected it to his idea, +which had grown upon the canvas obscure to him under his +own brush until that final moment, and he recognized with +astonishment how relative and incidental the truth of +the treatment seemed in comparison with the truth of the +idea. + +With the modern scornful word for the literary value of +paintings on his lips, Kendal was forced to admit that +in this his consummate picture, as he very truly thought +it, the chief significance lay elsewhere than in the +brushing and the color--they were only its dramatic +exponents--and the knowledge of this brought him a new +and glorious sense of control. It had already carried +him further in power, this portrait, it would carry him +further in place, than anything he had yet done; and the +thought gave a sparkle to the delicious ineffable content +that bathed his soul. He felt that the direction of his +walk intensified his eager physical joy in it. He was +going to Janet with his success, as he had always gone +to her. As soon as the absorbing vision of his work had +admitted another perception, it was Janet's sympathy, +Janet's applause, that had mingled itself with his certain +reward. He could not say that it had inspired him in +the least, but it formed a very essential part of his +triumph. He could wish her more exacting, but this time +he had done something that should make her less easy to +satisfy in the future. Unconsciously he hastened his +steps through the gardens, switching off a daisy head +now and then with his stick as he went, and pausing only +once, when he found himself, to his utter astonishment, +asking a purely incidental errand boy if he wanted +sixpence. + +Janet, in the drawing-room, received him with hardly a +quickening of pulse. It was so nearly over now; she seemed +to have packed up a good part of her tiresome heart-ache +with the warm things Lady Halifax had dictated for the +Atlantic. She had a vague expectation that it would +reappear, but not until she unlocked the box, in mid-ocean, +where it wouldn't matter so much. She knew that it was +only reasonable and probable that she should see him +again before they left for Liverpool She had been expecting +this visit, and she meant to be unflinching with herself +when she exchanged farewells with him. She meant to make +herself believe that the occasion was quite an ordinary +one--also until afterward, when her feeling about it +would be of less consequence. + +"Well," she asked directly, with a failing heart as she +saw his face, "what is your good news?" + +Kendal laughed aloud; it was delightful to be anticipated. +"So I am unconsciously advertising it," he said. "Guess!" + +His tone bad the vaunting glory of a lover's--a lover +new to his lordship, with his privileges still sweet upon +his lips. Janet felt a little cold contraction about her +heart, and sank quickly into the nearest arm-chair. "How +can I guess," she said, looking beyond him at the wall, +which she did not see, "without anything to go upon? Give +me a hint." + +Kendal laughed again. "It's very simple, and you know +something about it already." + +Then she was not mistaken--there was no chance of it. +She tried to look at him with smiling, sympathetic +intelligence, while her whole being quivered in anticipation +of the blow that was coming. "Does it--does it concern +another person?" she faltered. + +Kendal looked grave, and suffered an instant's compunction. +"It does--it does indeed," he assured her. "It concerns +Miss Elfrida Bell very much, in a way. Ah!" he went on +impatiently, as she still sat silent, "why are you so +unnaturally dull, Janet? I've finished that young woman's +portrait, and it is more--satisfactory--than I ever in +my life dared hope that any picture of mine would be." + +"Is that all?" + +The words escaped her in a quick, breath of relief. Her +face was crimson, and the room seemed to swim. + +"_All!_" she heard Kendal say reproachfully. "Wait until +you see it!" He experienced a shade of dejection, and +there was an instant's silence between them, during which +it seemed to Janet that the world was made over again. +"That young woman!" She disloyally extracted the last +suggestion of indifference out of the phrase, and found +it the sweetest she had heard for months. But her brain +whirled with the effort to decide what it could possibly +mean. + +"I hope you have made it as beautiful as Elfrida is," +she cried, with sharp self-reproof. "It must have been +difficult to do that." + +"I have made it--what she is, I think," he answered, +again with that sudden gravity. "It is so like my conception +of her which I have never felt permitted to explain to +you, that I feel as if I had stolen a march upon her. +You must see it. When will you come? It goes in the day +after to-morrow, but I can't wait for your opinion till +it's hung." + +"I like your calm reliance upon the Committee," Janet +laughed. "Suppose--" + +"I won't. It will go on the line," Kendal returned +confidently. "I did nothing last year that I will permit +to be compared with it. Will you come to-morrow?" + +"Impossible; I haven't two consecutive minutes to-morrow. +We sail, you know, on Thursday." + +Kendal looked at her blankly. "You _sail?_ On Thursday?" + +"I am going to America, Lady Halifax and I. And Elizabeth, +of course. We are to be away a year. Lady Halifax is +buying tickets, I am collecting light literature, and +Elizabeth is in pursuit of facts. Oh, we are deep in +preparation. I thought you knew." + +"How could I possibly know?" + +"Elfrida didn't tell you, then?" + +"Did she know?" + +"Oh yes, ten days ago." + +"Odd that she didn't mention it." + +Janet told herself that it was odd, but found with some +surprise that it was not more than odd. There had been +a time when the discovery that she and her affairs were +of so little consequence to her friend would have given +her a wondering pang; but that time seemed to have passed. +She talked lightly on about her journey; her voice and +her thoughts, had suddenly been freed. She dilated upon +the pleasures she anticipated as if they had been real, +skimming over the long spaces of his silence, and gathering +gaiety as he grew more and more sombre. When he rose to +go their moods had changed: the brightness and the flush +were hers, and, his face spoke only of a puzzled dejection, +an anxious uncertainty. + +"So it is good-by," he said, as she gave him her hand, +"for a year!" + +Something in his voice made her look up suddenly, with +such an unconscious tenderness in her eyes as he had +never seen in any other woman's. She dropped them before +he could be quite certain he recognized it, though his +heart was beating in a way which told him there had been +no mistake. + +"Lady Halifax means it to be a year," she answered--and +surely, since it was to be a year, he might keep her hand +an instant longer. + +The full knowledge of what this woman was to him seemed +to descend upon John Kendal then, and he stood silent +under it, pale and grave-eyed, baring his heart to the +rush of the first serious emotion life had brought him, +filled with a single conscious desire--that she should +show him that sweetness in her eyes again. But she looked +wilfully down, and he could only come closer to her, with +a sudden muteness upon his ready lips, and a strange +new-born fear wrestling for possession of him. For in +that moment Janet, hitherto so simple, so approachable, +as it were so available, had become remote, difficult, +incomprehensible. Kendal invested her with the change in +himself, and quivered in uncertainty as to what it might +do with her. He seemed to have nothing to trust to but +that one glance for knowledge of the girl his love had +newly exalted; and still she stood before him looking +down. He took two or three vague steps into the middle +of the room, drawing her with him. In their nearness to +each other the silence between them held them +intoxicatingly, and he had her in his arms before he +found occasion to say, between his lingering kisses upon +her hair, "You can't go, Janet. You must stay--and marry +me." + + * * * * * * * * + +"I don't know," wrote Lawrence Cardiff in a postscript +to a note to Miss Bell that evening, "that Janet will +thank me for forestalling her with such all-important +news, but I can't resist the pleasure of telling you that +she and Kendal got themselves engaged, without so much +as a 'by your leave' to me, this afternoon. The young +man shamelessly stayed to dinner, and I am informed that +they mean to be married in June. Kendal is full of your +portrait; we are to see it to-morrow. I hope he has +arranged that we shall have the advantage of comparing +it with the original." + + + + +CHAPTER XXXIV. + +"Miss Cardiff's in the lib'ry, sir," said the housemaid, +opening, the door for Kendal next morning with a smile +which he did not find too broadly sympathetic. He went +up the stairs two steps at a time, whistling like a +schoolboy. + +"Lady Halifax says," he announced, taking immediate +possession of Janet where she stood, and drawing her to +a seat beside him on the lounge, "that the least we can +do by way of reparation is to arrange our wedding-trip +in their society. She declares she will wait any reasonable +time; but I assured her delicately that her idea of +compensation was a little exaggerated." + +Janet looked at him with an, absent smile. "Yes, I think +so," she said, but her eyes were preoccupied, and the +lover in him resented it. + +"What is it?" he asked. "What has happened, dear?" + +She looked down at an open letter in her hand, and for +a moment said nothing. "I don't know whether I ought to +tell you; but it would be a relief." + +"Can there be anything you ought not to tell me?" he +insisted tenderly. + +"Perhaps, on the other hand, I ought," she said +reflectively. "It may help you to a proper definition of +my character, and then--you may think less of me. Yes, +I think I ought." + +"Darling, for Heaven's sake don't talk nonsense!" + +"I had a letter--this letter--a little while ago, from +Elfrida Bell." She held it out to him. "Read it." + +Kendal hesitated and scanned her face. She was smiling +now; she had the look of half-amused dismay that might +greet an ineffectual blow. He took the letter. + +"If it is from Miss Bell," he said at a suggestion from +his conscience, "I fancy, for some reason, it is not +pleasant." + +"No," she replied, "it is not pleasant." + +He unfolded the letter, recognizing the characteristic +broad margins and the repressed rounded perpendicular +hand with its supreme effort after significance, and his +thought reflected a tinge of his old amused curiosity. +It was only a reflection, and yet it distinctly embodied +the idea that he might be on the brink of a further +discovery. He glanced at Janet again: her hands were +clasped in her lap, and she was looking straight before +her with smilingly grave lips and lowered lids, which +nevertheless gave him a glimpse of retrospection. He +felt the beginnings of indignation, yet he looked back +at the letter acquisitively; its interest was intrinsic. + +"I feel that I can no longer hold myself in honor," he +read, "if I refrain further from defining the personal +situation between us as it appears to me. That I have +let nearly three weeks go by without doing it you may +put down to my weakness and selfishness, to your own +charm, to what you will; but I shall be glad if you will +not withhold the blame that is due me in the matter, for +I have wronged you, as well as myself, in keeping silence. + +"Look, it is all here in a nutshell. _Nothing is changed_. +I have tried to believe otherwise, but the truth is +stronger than my will. My opinion of you is a naked, +uncompromising fact I cannot drape it or adorn it, or +even throw around it a mist of charity. It is unalterably +there, and in any future intercourse with you, such +intercourse as we have had in the past, I should only +dash myself forever against it. I do not clearly see upon +what level you accepted me in the beginning, but I am +absolutely firm in my belief that it was not such as I +would have tolerated if I had known. To-day at all events +I am confronted with the proof that I have not had your +confidence--that you have not thought it worth while to +be single-minded in your relation to me. From a personal +point of view there is more that I might say, but perhaps +that is damning enough, and I have no desire to be abusive. +It is on my conscience to add, moreover, that I find you +a sophist, and your sophistry a little vulgar. I find +you compromising with your ambitions, which in themselves +are not above reproach from any point of view. I find +you adulterating what ought to be the pure stream of +ideality with muddy considerations of what the people +are pleased to call the moralities, and with the feebler +contamination of the conventionalities--" + +"I _couldn't_ smoke with her," commented Janet, reading +over his shoulder. "It wasn't that I objected in the +least, but it made me so very--uncomfortable, that I +would never try a second time." + +Kendal's smile deepened, and he read on without answering, +except by pressing her finger-tips against his lips. + +"I should be sorry to deny your great cleverness and your +pretensions to a certain sort of artistic interpretation. +But to me the _artist bourgeois_ is an outsider, who must +remain outside. He has nothing to gain by fellowship with +me, and I--pardon me--have much to lose. + +"So, if you please, we will go our separate ways, and +doubtless will represent, each to the other, an experiment +that has failed. You will believe me when I say that I +am intensely sorry. And perhaps you will accept, as +sincerely as I offer it, my wish that the future may +bring you success even more brilliant than you have +already attained." Here a line had been carefully scratched +out. "What I have written I have written under compulsion. +I am sure you will understand that. + +"Believe me, + +"Yours sincerely, + +"ELFRIDA BELL. + +"P.S.--I had a dream once of what I fancied our friendship +might be. It is a long time ago, and the days between +have faded all the color and sweetness out of my +dream--still, I remember that it was beautiful. For the +sake of that vain imagining, and because it was beautiful, +I will send you, if you will allow me, a photograph of +a painting which I like, which represents art as I have +learned to kneel to it." + +Kendal read this communication through with a look of +keen amusement until he came to the postscript. Then he +threw back his head and laughed outright. Janet's face +had changed; she tried to smile in concert, but the effort +was rather piteous. "Oh, Jack," she said, "please take +it seriously." But he laughed on, irrepressibly. + +She tried to cover his lips. "_Don't_ shout so!" she +begged, as if there were illness in the house or a funeral +next door, and he saw something in her face which stopped +him. + +"My darling, it can't hurt--it doesn't, does it?" + +"I'd like to say no, but it does, a little. Not so much +as it would have done a while ago." + +"Are you going to accept Miss Bell's souvenir of her +shattered ideal? That's the best thing in the letter +--that's really supreme!" and Kendal, still broadly +mirthful, stretched out his hand to take it again; but +Janet drew it back. + +"No," she said, "of course not; that was silly of her. +But a good deal of the rest is true, I'm afraid, Jack." + +"It's damnably impudent," he cried, with, sudden anger. +"I suppose she believes it herself, and that's the measure +of its truth. How dare she dogmatize to you about the +art of your work! _She_ to _you_!" + +"Oh, it isn't that I care about. It doesn't matter to +me, how little she thinks of my aims and my methods. I'm +quite content to do my work with what artistic conception +I've got without analyzing its quality--I'm thankful +enough to have any. Besides, I'm not sure about the +finality of her opinion--" + +"You needn't be!" Kendal interrupted, with scorn. + +"But what hurts--like a knife--is that part about my +insincerity. I _haven't_ been honest with her--I haven't! +From the very beginning I've criticised her privately. +I've felt all sorts of reserves and qualifications about +her, and concealed them--for the sake of--of I don't know +what--the pleasure I had in knowing her, I suppose." + +"It seems to me pretty clear, from this precious +communication, that she was quietly reciprocating," Kendal +said bluntly. + +"That doesn't clear me in the least. Besides, when she +had made up her mind she had the courage to tell me what +she thought; there was some principle in that. I--I admire +her for doing it, but I couldn't, myself." + +"Thank the Lord, no. And I wouldn't be too sure, if I +were you, darling, about the unmixed heroism that dictates +her letter. I dare say she fancied it was that, but--" + +Janet's head leaped up from his shoulder. "Now you are +unjust to her," she cried. "You don't know Elfrida, Jack. +If you think her capable of assuming a motive--" + +"Well, do you know what I think?" said Kendal, with an +irrelevant smile, glancing at the letter in her hand. "I +think she has kept a copy." + +Janet looked at him with reproachful eyes, which +nevertheless had the relief of amusement in them. "Don't +you?" he insisted. + +"I--dare say." + +"And she thoroughly enjoyed writing as she did. The +phrases read as if she had rolled them under her tongue. +It was a _coup_, don't you see?--and the making of a +_coup_, of any kind, at any expense, is the most refined +joy which life affords that young woman." + +"There's sincerity in every line." + +"Oh, she means what she says. But she found an exquisite +gratification in saying it which you cannot comprehend, +dear. This letter is a flower of her egotism, as it +were--she regards it with natural ecstasy, as an +achievement." + +Janet shook her head. "Oh no, no" she cried miserably. +"You can't realize the--the sort of thing there was +between us, dear, and how it should have been sacred to +me beyond all tampering and cavilling, or it should not +have been at all. It isn't that I didn't know all the +time that I was disloyal to her, while she thought I was +sincerely her friend. I did! And now she has found me +out, and it serves me perfectly right--perfectly." + +Kendal reflected for a moment, and then he brought comfort +to her from his last resource. + +"Of course the intimacy between two girls is a wholly +different thing, and I don't know whether the relation +between Miss Bell and myself affords any parallel to +it--" + +"Oh, Jack! And I thought--" + +"What did you think, dearest?" + +"I thought," said Janet, in a voice considerably muffled +by contact with his tweed coat collar, "that you were +perfectly _madly_ in love with her." + +"Heavens!" Kendal cried, as if the contingency had been +physically impossible. "It is a man's privilege to fall +in love with a woman, darling--not with an incarnate +idea." + +"It's a very beautiful idea." + +"I'm not sure of that--it looks well from the outside. +But it is quite incapable of any growth or much, change," +Kendal went on musingly, "and in the end--Lord, how a +man would be bored!" + +"You are incapable of being fair to her," came from the +coat collar. + +"Perhaps. I have something else to think of--since +yesterday. Janet, look up!" + +She looked up, and for a little space Elfrida Bell found +oblivion as complete as she could have desired between +them. Then-- + +"You were telling me--" Janet said. + +"Yes. Your Elfrida and I had a sort of friendship too--it +began, as you know, in Paris. And I was quite aware that +one does not have an ordinary friendship with her--it +accedes and it exacts more than the common relation. And +I've sometimes made myself uncomfortable with the idea +that she gave me credit for a more faultless conception +of her than I possessed; for the honest, brutal truth +is, I'm afraid, that I've only been working her out. +When the portrait was finished I found that somehow I +had succeeded. She saw it, too, and so I fancy my false +position has righted itself. So I haven't been sincere +to her either, Janet. But my conscience seems fairly +callous about it. I can't help reflecting that we are to +other people pretty much what they deserve that we shall +be. We can't control our own respect." + +"I've lost hers," Janet repeated, with depression, and +Kendal gave an impatient groan. + +"I don't think you'll miss it," he said. + +"And, Jack, haven't you any--compunctions about exhibiting +that portrait?" + +"Absolutely none." He looked at her with candid eyes. +"Of course if she wished me to I would destroy it. I +respect her property in it so far as that. But so long +as she accepts it as the significant truth it is, I am +entirely incapable of regretting it. I have painted her, +with her permission, as I saw her, as she is. If I had +given her a, squint or a dimple, I could accuse myself; +but I have not wronged her or gratified myself by one +touch of misrepresentation." + +"I am to see it this afternoon," said Janet. Unconsciously +she was looking forward to finding some measure of +justification for herself in the portrait; why, it would +be difficult to say. + +"Yes; I put it into its frame with my own hands yesterday. +I don't know when anything has given me so much pleasure. +And so far as Miss Bell is concerned," he went on, "it +is an unpleasant thing to say, but one's acquaintance +with her seems more and more to resolve itself into an +opportunity for observation, and to be without significance +other than that. I tell you frankly I began to see that +when I found I shared what she called her friendship with +Golightly Ticke. And I think, dear, with people like you +and me, any more serious feeling toward her is impossible." + +"Doesn't it distress you to think that she believes you +incapable of speaking of her like this?" + +"I think," said Kendal slowly, "that she knows how I +would be likely to speak of her." + +"Well," Janet returned, "I'm glad you haven't reason to +suffer about her as I do. And I don't know at all how to +answer her letter." + +"I'll tell you," Kendal replied. He jumped up and brought +her a pen and a sheet of paper and a blotting pad, and +sat down again beside her, holding the ink bottle. "Write +'My dear Miss Bell.'" + +"But she began her letter, without any formality." + +"Never mind; that's a cheapness that you needn't imitate, +even for the sake of politeness. Write 'My dear Miss Bell.'" + +Janet wrote it. + +"'I am sorry to find,'" Kendal dictated slowly, a few +words at a time, "'that the flaws in my regard for you +are sufficiently considerable--to attract your attention +as strongly as your letter indicates. The right of judgment +in so personal a matter--is indisputably yours, however--and +I write to acknowledge, not to question it.'" + +"Dear, that isn't as I feel." + +"It's as you will feel," Kendal replied ruthlessly. "Now +add: 'I have to acknowledge the very candid expression +of your opinion of myself--which does not lose in +interest--by the somewhat exaggerated idea of its value +which appears to have dictated it,--and to thank you, +for your extremely kind offer to send me a picture. I am +afraid, however--even in view of the idyllic considerations +you mention--I cannot allow myself to take advantage of +that--" + +"On the whole I wouldn't allude to the shattered ideal--" + +"Oh-no, dear. Go on." + +"Or the fact that you probably wouldn't be able to hang +it up," he added grimly. "Now write 'You may be glad to +know that the episode in my life--which your letter +terminates--appears to me to be of less importance than +you perhaps imagine it--notwithstanding a certain soreness +over its close.'" + +"It doesn't, Jack." + +"It will. I wouldn't say anything more, if I were you; +just 'yours very truly, Janet Cardiff.'" + +She wrote as he dictated, and then read the letter slowly +over from the beginning. "It sounds very hard, dear," +she said, lifting eyes to his which he saw were full of +tears, "and as if I didn't care." + +"My darling," he said, taking her into his arms, "I hope +you don't--I hope you won't care, after to-morrow. And +now, don't you think we've had enough of Miss Elfrida +Bell for the present?" + + + + +CHAPTER XXXV. + +At three o'clock, an hour before he expected the Cardiffs, +John Kendal ran up the stairs to his studio. The door +stood ajar, and with a jealous sense of his possession +within, he reproached himself for his carelessness in +leaving it so. He had placed the portrait the day before +where all the light in the room fell upon it, and his +first hasty impression of the place assured him that it +stood there still. When he looked directly at it he +instinctively shut the door, made a step or two forward, +closed his eyes and so stood for a moment, with his hands +before them. Then, with a groan, "Damnation!" he opened +them again and faced the fact. The portrait was literally +in rags: They hung from the top of the frame and swung +over the bottom of it Hardly enough of the canvas remained +unriddled to show that it had represented anything human. +Its destruction was absolute--fiendish, it seemed to +Kendal. + +He dropped into a chair and stared with his knee locked +in his hands. + +"Damnation!" he repeated, with a white face. "I'll never +approach it again;" and then he added grimly, still +speaking aloud, "Janet will say I deserved it." + +He had not an instant's doubt of the author of the +destruction, and he remembered with a flash in connection +with it the little silver-handled Algerian dagger that +pinned one of Nadie Palicsky's studies against the wall +of Elfrida's room. It was not till a quarter of an hour +afterward that he thought it worth while to pick up the +note that lay on the table addressed to him, and then he +opened it with a nauseated sense of her unnecessary +insistence. + +"I have come here this morning," Elfrida had written, +"determined to either kill myself or IT. It is impossible, +I find, notwithstanding all that I said, that both should +continue to exist. I cannot explain further, you must +not ask it of me. You may not believe me when I tell you +that I struggled hard to let it be myself. I had such a +hideous doubt as to which had the best right to live. +But I failed there--death is too ghastly. So I did what +you see. In doing it I think I committed the unforgivable +sin--not against you, but against art. It may be some +satisfaction to you to know that I shall never wholly +respect myself again in consequence." A word or two +scratched out, and then: "Understand that I bear no malice +toward you, have no blame for you, only honor. You acted +under the very highest obligation--you could not have +done otherwise. * * * * * And I am glad to think that I +do not destroy with your work the joy you had in it. +* * *" + +Kendal noted the consideration of this final statement +with a cynical laugh, and counted the asterisks. Why +the devil hadn't he locked the door? His confidence in +her had been too ludicrous. He read the note half through +once again, and then with uncontrollable impatience tore +it into shreds. To have done it at all was hideous, but +to try and impress herself in doing it was disgusting. +He reflected, with a smile of incredulous contempt, upon +what she had said about killing herself, and wondered, +in his anger, how she could be so blind to her own +disingenuousness. Five asterisks--she had made them +carefully--and then the preposterousness about what she +had destroyed and what she hadn't destroyed; and then +more asterisks. What had she thought they could possibly +signify--what could anything she might say possibly +signify? + +In a savage rudimentary way he went over the ethical +aspect of the affair, coming to no very clear conclusion. +He would have destroyed the thing himself if she had +asked him, but she should have asked him. And even in +his engrossing indignation he could experience a kind of +spiritual blush as he recognized how safe his concession +was behind the improbability of its condition. Finally +he wrote a line to Janet, informing her that the portrait +had sustained an injury, and postponing her and her +father's visit to the studio. He would come, in the +morning to tell her about it, he added, and despatched +the missive by the boy downstairs, post-haste, in a cab. +It would be to-morrow, he reflected, before he could +screw himself up to talking about it, even to Janet. For +that day he must be alone with his discomfiture. + +* * * * * + +In the days of his youth and adversity, long before he +and the public were upon speaking terms, Mr. George +Jasper had found encouragement of a substantial sort with +Messrs. Pittman, Pitt & Sanderson, of Ludgate Hill, which +was a well-known explanation of the fact that this +brilliant author clung, in the main, to a rather +old-fashioned firm of publishers when the dimensions of +his reputation gave him a proportionate choice. It +explained also the circumstance that Mr. Jasper's notable +critical acumen was very often at the service of his +friend Mr. Pitt--Mr. Pittman was dead, as at least one +member of a London publishing firm is apt to be--in cases +where manuscripts of any curiously distinctive character, +from unknown authors, puzzled his perception of the truly +expedient thing to do. Mr. Arthur Rattray, of the +_Illustrated Age_, had personal access to Mr. Pitt, and +had succeeded in confusing him very much indeed as to +the probable success of a book by an impressionistic +young lady friend of his, which he called "An Adventure +in Stage-Land," and which Mr. Rattray declared to have +every element of unconventional interest. Mr. Pitt +distrusted unconventional interest, distrusted +impressionistic literature, and especially distrusted +books by young lady friends. Rattray, nevertheless showed +a suspicious indifference to its being accepted, and an +irritating readiness to take it somewhere else, and Mr. +Pitt knew Rattray for a sagacious man. And so it happened +that, returning late from a dinner where he had taken +refuge from being bored entirely-to extinction in two or +three extremely indigestible, dishes, Mr. George Jasper +found Elfrida's manuscript in a neat, thick, oblong paper +parcel, waiting for him on his dressing-table. He felt +himself particularly wide awake, and he had a consciousness +that the evening had made a very small inroad upon his +capacity for saying clever things. So he went over "An +Adventure in Stage-Land" at once, and in writing his +opinion of it to Mr. Pitt, which he did with some +elaboration, a couple of hours later, he had all the +relief of a revenge upon a well-meaning hostess, without +the reproach of having done her the slightest harm. It +is probable that if Mr. Jasper had known that the opinion +of the firm's "reader" was to find its way to the author, +he would have expressed himself in terms of more guarded +commonplace, for we cannot believe that he still cherished +a sufficiently lively resentment at having his hand +publicly kissed by a pretty girl to do otherwise; but +Mr. Pitt had not thought it necessary to tell him of this +condition, which Rattray, at Elfrida's express desire, +had exacted. As it happened, nobody can ever know precisely +what he wrote, except Mr. Pitt, who has forgotten, and +Mr. Arthur Rattray, who tries to forget; for the letter, +the morning after it had been received, which was the +morning after the portrait met its fate, lay in a little +charred heap in the fireplace of Elfrida's room, when +Janet Cardiff pushed the screen aside at last and went in. + +Kendal had come as he promised, and told her everything. +He had not received quite the measure of indignant sympathy +he had expected, and Janet had not laughed at the asterisks. +On the other hand, she had sent him away, with unnatural +gravity-of demeanor, rather earlier than he meant to go, +and without telling him why. She thought, as she directed +the cabman to Essex Court, Fleet Street, that she would +tell him why afterward; and all the way there she thought +of the most explicit terms in which to inform Elfrida +that her letter had been the product of hardness of heart, +that she really felt quite differently, and had come to +tell her, purely for honesty's sake, how she did feel. + +After a moment of ineffectual calling on the other side +of the screen, her voice failed her, and in dumb terror +that would not be reasoned away it seemed that she saw +the outlines of the long, still, slender figure under +the bed draperies, while she still looked helplessly at +a flock of wild geese flying over Fugi Yama. Buddha smiled +at her from the table with a kind of horrid expectancy, +and the litter, of papers round him, in Elfrida's +handwriting, mixed their familiarity with his mockery. +She had only to drag her trembling limbs a little further +to know that the room was pregnant with the presence of +death. Some white tuberoses in a vase seemed to make it +palpable with their fragrance. She ran wildly to the +window and drew back the curtain; the pale sunlight +flooding in gave a little white nimbus to a silver ring +upon the floor. + +The fact may not be without interest that six months +afterward "An Adventure in Stage-Land" was published by +Messrs. Lash and Black, and met with a very considerable +success. Mr. Arthur Rattray undertook its disposal, with +the consent of Mr. and Mrs. Leslie Bell, who insisted, +without much difficulty, that he should receive a percentage +of the profits for his trouble. Mr. Rattray was also of +assistance to them when, as soon as the expense could be +managed, these two middle-aged Americans, whose grief +was not less impressive because of its twang, arrived in +London to arrange that their daughter's final resting-place +should be changed to her native land. Mr. Bell told him +in confidence that while he hoped he was entirely devoid +of what you may call race prejudice against the English +people, it didn't, seem as if he could let anybody +belonging to him lie under the British flag for all time, +and found it a comfort that Rattray understood. Sparta +is divided in its opinion whether the imposing red granite +monument they erected in the cemetery, with plenty of +space left for the final earthly record of Leslie and +Margaret Bell, is not too expensive considering the Bells' +means, and too conspicuous considering the circumstances. +It has hitherto occurred to nobody, however, to doubt +the appropriateness of the texts inscribed upon it, in +connection with three little French words which Elfrida, +in the charmingly apologetic letter which she left for +her parents, commanded to be put there--"_Pas +femme-artiste_." Janet, who once paid a visit to the +place, hopes in all seriousness that the sleeper underneath +is not aware of the combination. + +Miss Kimpsey boards with the Bells now, and her relation +to them has become almost daughterly. The three are +swayed, to the extent of their several capacities, by +what one might call a cult of Elfrida--her death has +long ago been explained by the fact that a grandaunt of +Mrs. Bell's suffered from melancholia. + +Mr. and Mrs, John Kendal's delightful circle of friends +say that they live an idyllic life in Devonshire. But +even in the height of some domestic joy a silence sometimes +falls between them still. Then, I fancy, he is thinking +of an art that has slipped away from him, and she of a +loyalty she could not hold. The only person whose equanimity +is entirely undisturbed is Buddha. In his place among +the mournful Magdalens of Mrs. Bell's drawing-room in +Sparta, Buddha still smiles. + +THE END + + + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of A Daughter of To-Day +by Sara Jeannette Duncan (aka Mrs. Everard Cotes) + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK A DAUGHTER OF TO-DAY *** + +***** This file should be named 14490.txt or 14490.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/4/4/9/14490/ + +This etext was produced by Gardner Buchanan. + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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