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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/13884-0.txt b/13884-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b3fc4c7 --- /dev/null +++ b/13884-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,12106 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13884 *** + +THE HISTORY OF SIR CHARLES GRANDISON, VOLUME IV + +by + +SAMUEL RICHARDSON + + + + + + + +CONTENTS OF VOLUME IV + + +LETTER I. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +A tenth letter from Dr. Bartlett: Description of a formal visit Sir +Charles Grandison paid to the whole of the Porretta family assembled: +their different characters clearly displayed on this occasion; and the +affectionate parting of Sir Charles and his friend Jeronymo. + +LETTER II. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +An eleventh letter from Dr. Bartlett: Signor Jeronymo writes to Sir +Charles Grandison an account of what farther passed in conversation +between the family after his departure. + +LETTER III. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Dr. Bartlett's twelfth letter: Sir Charles Grandison takes leave of his +friends at Bologna, and is setting out for Florence; when he receives +a friendly letter from Signor Jeronymo, by which he learns that +Clementina had earnestly entreated her father to permit her to see him +once again before his departure; but that she had met with an absolute +refusal: Jeronymo also describes the ill-treatment of his sister by her +aunt, and her resignation under her trials. Sir Charles arrives at +Naples, and there visits Clementina's brother, the general: account of +his reception, and of the conversation that passed between them. + +LETTER IV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Dr. Bartlett's thirteenth letter; containing an account of Sir Charles +Grandison's final departure from Italy; and various matters relative to +the Porretta family; the persecutions Clementina endured from her +relations; and a letter Sir Charles Grandison received from Mrs. +Beaumont.--Dr. Bartlett concludes with an apostrophe on the brevity of +all human affairs. + +LETTER V. Miss Harriet Byron to Miss Lucy Selby.-- +Explanation of the causes of Sir Charles Grandison's uneasiness, +occasioned by intelligence lately brought him from abroad. Miss Byron +wishes that Sir Charles was proud and vain, that she might with the more +ease cast of her acknowledged shackles. She enumerates the engagements +that engross the time of Sir Charles; and mentions her tender regard +toward the two sons of Mrs. Oldham, the penitent mistress of his father +Sir Thomas. A visit from the Earl of G----, and his sister Lady +Gertrude. + +LETTER VI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles Grandison dines with Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and his gay +friends; his reflections on the riots and excesses frequently committed +at the jovial meetings of gay and thoughtless young men. Sir Charles +negociates a treaty of marriage for Lord W----; and resolves to attempt +the restoring of the oppressed Mansfield-family to their rights. + +LETTER VII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Farther traits in the character of Sir Charles Grandison. + +LETTER VIII. Sir Charles Grandison to Dr. Bartlett.-- +Sir Charles describes the interview he had with Sir Harry Beauchamp and +his lady; and how he appeased the anger of the imperious lady. His +farther proceedings in favour of the Mansfields. + +LETTER IX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +A visit from the Countess of D----, and the earl her son. Account of the +young earl's person and deportment. Miss Byron confesses to the +countess, that her heart is already a wedded heart, and that she cannot +enter into a second engagement. Reflections on young men being sent by +their parents to travel to foreign countries. + +LETTER X. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Various self-debatings and recriminations that passed through the young +lady's mind on the expectation of breakfasting with Sir Charles +Grandison. + +LETTER XI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles Grandison communicates to Miss Byron the farther distressing +intelligence he had received from Bologna:--His friend Signor Jeronymo +dangerously ill, his sister Clementina declining in health, and their +father and mother absorbed in melancholy. The communication comes from +the bishop of Nocera, Clementina's second brother; who entreats Sir +Charles to make one more visit to Bologna. Farther affecting information +from Mrs. Beaumont respecting Lady Clementina's cruel treatment at the +palace of Milan, and her removal from thence to Naples. Sir Charles +resolves on going to Bologna. Miss Byron's dignified and generous +conduct on the occasion. + +LETTER XII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Informs her of the generosity and kind condescension of Sir Charles to +Mrs. Oldham and her family, as related by Miss Grandison: their +difference of opinion on that subject. + +LETTER XIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +An early visit from Miss Jervois, who communicates with much pleasure +the particulars of a late interview she had with her mother: relates a +conversation that passed between her guardian, Mrs. O'Hara, and Captain +Salmonet: describes the affectionate behaviour of Sir Charles to her, on +introducing her to her mother; and his kind instructions concerning her +deportment on the occasion. + +LETTER XIV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles solicits his sister to fix the day for her marriage before he +leaves England. Visit from Lord G----, the Earl, and Lady Gertrude. +Miss Grandison unusually thoughtful all the time of dinner. The Earl of +G---- and Lady Gertrude request a conference with Sir Charles after +dinner. Purport of it. Miss Grandison's reluctance to so early a day as +her brother names, but at length accedes to his powerful entreaties; +though wholly unprepared, she says. + +LETTER XV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Serious conversation between Miss Byron and Miss Grandison concerning the +approaching marriage. The latter expresses her indifference for Lord +G----; compares his character with that of her brother; entreats Miss +Byron to breakfast with her the next day, and to remain with her till the +event takes place. + +LETTER XVI. Miss Grandison to Miss Byron.-- +Ludicrous description of three marriages given by Miss Grandison, with +the anticipation of her own. + +LETTER XVII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Great preparations for Miss Grandison's marriage: her generous offer to +Miss Byron of her share of her mother's jewels, who refuses to accept of +them, and gives her opinion as to their disposal. Miss Grandison is +pleased with the hint, and acts accordingly. Account of Dr. Bartlett's +interesting conversation with Miss Byron on the subject of Sir Charles +going to Italy, and his attachment to Miss Byron. The young lady's +emotions: her alternate hopes and fears: she resolves on relinquishing +Sir Charles in favour of Lady Clementina. + +LETTER XVIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Debate concerning the place where the marriage ceremony is to be +performed. Conversation between Miss Byron and Miss Grandison +interrupted by Lady Gertrude. Miss Byron expresses much concern for Lord +G----, from Miss Grandison's present conduct to him; but is inclined to +hope that an alteration may be effected. + +LETTER XIX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Account of Sir Charles's return from Windsor: his joy on restoring the +worthy family of the Mansfields from oppression: his interview with his +friend Beauchamp, at Sir Harry's; and cheerful behaviour at his sister's +wedding, though his own heart is torn with uncertainty. Farther proofs +of his esteem for Miss Byron. + +LETTER XX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles briefly lays before his sister the duties of a married life: +some remarks on her behaviour. Lord W----'s generosity to his nieces o +Lady G----'s marriage. Painful reflections on the departure of Sir +Charles. Opinions of the proper age for the marrying of women. + +LETTER XXI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Conversation with Dr. Bartlett. Artless remarks of Miss Jervois, and her +censures on the conduct of Lady G---- to her lord. Mr. Galliard proposes +an alliance for Sir Charles. Contrast between Lady G---- and Lady L---- +in disposing of their uncle's present. Miss Byron's perturbed state of +mind: the cause of it. Her noble resolution in favour of Lady +Clementina. + +LETTER XXII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Conference between Lord W---- and Sir Charles on the management of +servants: their conduct frequently influenced by example. Remarks on +the helpless state of single women. Plan proposed for erecting +Protestant Nunneries in England, and places of refuge for penitent +females. + +LETTER XXIII. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Invitation to dinner. Account of a matrimonial altercation, and of the +arrival of Lady Olivia. + +LETTER XXIV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Encloses Lady G----'s letter, and describes her concern for Lord G----. + +LETTER XXV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Lady Olivia is introduced to Miss Byron. Some traits in that lady's +character related by Dr. Bartlett. She declares her passion for Sir +Charles to Lady L----. She endeavours to prevail on him to defer his +voyage, and is indignant at meeting with a refusal. Miss Byron's exalted +behaviour. + +LETTER XXVI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Conversation with Sir Charles regarding Lord and Lady G----. His anxiety +for their happiness; but hopes much from Miss Byron's influence over her +sister. + +LETTER XXVII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles departs unexpectedly, from the kindest motives. The concern +and solicitude of his friends. Miss Byron's mind much agitated. The +eldest of Mrs. Oldham's sons presented with a pair of colours by Sir +Charles. + +LETTER XXVIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Account of Lady Olivia's behaviour. Her horrid attempt to stab Sir +Charles. Miss Byron describes the state of her own mind, and resolves +to return to Northamptonshire. + +LETTER XXIX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Particulars of a very interesting conversation with Mrs. Reeves and Lady +D----. Miss Byron's ingenuous reply to Lady D----'s interrogation. Her +explanation of some of Sir Charles's expressions in the library. +Conference which had formerly embarrassed her. + +LETTER XXX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Preparations for her journey into Northamptonshire. Regrets at parting +with friends. Lady Olivia is desirous of visiting Miss Byron. Remarks +on politeness. Unpleasant consequences sometimes resulting from it. +Remarks on the conduct of Sir Charles. + +LETTER XXXI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Lady G---- quarrels with her lord, who entreat Miss Byron's assistance in +effecting a reconciliation. That lady's kind advice and opinion. Lady +G---- resumes her good humour; but will not acknowledge herself to have +been in the wrong. + +LETTER XXXII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Relates what passed on a visit of Lady Olivia. Miss Byron pities the +impetuosity of her temper, and admires her many amiable qualities. Pays +another visit to Lady G----; and gives an account of the reconciliation +between her and her husband. + +LETTER XXXIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Mr. Fowler brings a letter from Sir Rowland Meredith, most affectionately +soliciting the hand of Miss Byron in favour of his nephew. + +LETTER XXXIV. Miss Byron to Sir Rowland Meredith.-- +She regards Sir Rowland as her father; avows her affection for Sir +Charles, notwithstanding his engagements with another lady, and disclaims +the generous intentions of Sir Rowland in her favour, in his will. + +LETTER XXXV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Arrangements for her journey. Thoughts on public amusements. +Retrospect. Tender parting with Dr. Bartlett. + +LETTER XXXVI. Miss Byron to Lady G----.-- +Description of her journey: account of those friends, who accompanied her +to Dunstable; and of those who met her there, from Northamptonshire; of +Mr. Grenville and Mr. Fenwick's collation for her at Stratford; of Mr. +Orme again saluting her by the highway-side, as the coach passed his +park-wall; and of her kind reception at Selby-house. + +LETTER XXXVII. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +The opinions of the Dunstable party respecting Miss Byron. Charms of the +mind superior to those of person. Lady G----'s opinion of Miss Byron's +aunt Selby, and of her cousins Lucy and Nancy; thinks her uncle's wit too +much studied; defends her own character, and the attack made by herself +and sister on Miss Byron at Colnebrooke. Lord G---- proposes parting +with his collection of moths and shells: gives the latter to Miss +Jervois, at his lady's request, and presents Lady G---- with a set of old +Japan china. + +LETTER XXXVIII. Miss Jervois to Miss Byron.-- +Her regret at parting with Miss Byron at Stratford: encomiums on her +guardian and Mr. Beauchamp: censures the conduct of Lady G---- to her +lord. Instance of her dutiful behaviour to her mother, on accidentally +meeting with her. + +LETTER XXXIX. Miss Byron to Lady G----.-- +Reproves Lady G---- for her levity. Does not find the society of her +country friends relieve the anxiety of her mind: laments the absence of +those she has just left: is visited by Mr. Fenwick, Mr. Grenville, and +Mr. Orme. Mr. Grenville's rudeness, and her own magnanimity. Hears of +Sir Hargrave Pollexfen's return. + +LETTER XL. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Ideas of female delicacy. Report of Sir Hargrave's return confirmed. +Sir Charles meets with an adventure on the road to Paris. Delivers Sir +Hargrave and Mr. Merceda from the chastisement of an enraged husband. +Sir Charles's firmness and temper on the occasion. + +LETTER XLI. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Reflections on the amusements of London. Her love of contradiction. She +pins her apron to Lord G----'s coat, and blames him for it. He wishes +her to be presented at court. Quarrel on the occasion. + +LETTER XLII. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Favourable issue expected of the law-suit between the Mansfields and the +Keelings. Mr. Everard Grandison ruined by gamesters, and threatened with +a prosecution for a breach of promise of marriage. The arrival of her +aunt Eleanor. Sir Hargrave and Mr. Merceda in a dangerous state. Mr. +Bagenhall obliged to marry the manufacturer's daughter of Abbeville, whom +he had seduced. Miss Clements comes into a fortune by the death of her +mother and aunt. + +LETTER XLIII. Mr. Lowther to John Arnold, Esq.-- +Quits Paris with Sir Charles, and arrives at St. Jean Maurienne. +Description of the country. Mr. Lowther is detained by indisposition. +Sir Charles and he proceed on their journey. Account of the manner of +crossing the mountains. They arrive at Parma. Their reception by the +bishop of Nocera and Father Marescotti. + +LETTER XLIV. Sir Charles Grandison to Dr. Bartlett.-- +The bishop of Nocera's melancholy account of the health of his brother +and sister. The Count of Belvedere acquaints Sir Charles with his +unabated passion for Lady Clementina. Affecting interview between Sir +Charles and Signor Jeronymo. He is kindly received by the marquis and +marchioness. The sufferings of Jeronymo under the hands of an unskilful +surgeon, with a brief history of his case. Sir Charles tells the +marchioness that he considers himself bound by his former offers, should +Clementina recover. The interested motives of Lady Sforza and Laurana +for treating Clementina with cruelty. Remarks on Lady Olivia's conduct, +and on female delicacy. Sir Charles recommends Miss Byron as a pattern +for his ward, and laments the depravity of Sir Hargrave and his friends. + + + + + +LETTER I + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +Miss Byron, To Miss Selby. + +O my Lucy! What think you!--But it is easy to guess what you must think. +I will, without saying one word more, enclose + + +DR. BARTLETT'S TENTH LETTER + +The next day (proceeds my patron) I went to make my visit to the family. +I had nothing to reproach myself with; and therefore had no other concern +upon me but what arose from the unhappiness of the noble Clementina: that +indeed was enough. I thought I should have some difficulty to manage my +own spirit, if I were to find myself insulted, especially by the general. +Soldiers are so apt to value themselves on their knowledge of what, after +all, one may call but their trade, that a private gentleman is often +thought too slightly of by them. Insolence in a great man, a rich man, +or a soldier, is a call upon a man of spirit to exert himself. But I +hope, thought I, I shall not have this call from any one of a family I so +greatly respect. + +I was received by the bishop; who politely, after I had paid my +compliments to the marquis and his lady, presented me to those of the +Urbino family to whom I was a stranger. Every one of those named by +Signor Jeronymo, in his last letter, was present. + +The marquis, after he had returned my compliment, looked another way, to +hide his emotion: the marchioness put her handkerchief to her eyes, and +looked upon me with tenderness; and I read in them her concern for her +Clementina. + +I paid my respects to the general with an air of freedom, yet of regard; +to my Jeronymo, with the tenderness due to our friendship, and +congratulated him on seeing him out of his chamber. His kind eyes +glistened with pleasure; yet it was easy to read a mixture of pain in +them; which grew stronger as the first emotions at seeing me enter, gave +way to reflection. + +The Conte della Porretta seemed to measure me with his eye. + +I addressed myself to Father Marescotti, and made my particular +acknowledgments to him for the favour of his visit, and what had passed +in it. He looked upon me with pleasure; probably with the more, as this +was a farewell visit. + +The two ladies whispered, and looked upon me, and seemed to bespeak each +other's attention to what passed. + +Signor Sebastiano placed himself next to Jeronymo, and often whispered +him, and as often cast his eye upon me. He was partial to me, I believe, +because my generous friend seemed pleased with what he said. + +His brother, Signor Juliano, sat on the other hand of me. They are +agreeable and polite young gentlemen. + +A profound silence succeeded the general compliments. + +I addressed myself to the marquis: Your lordship, and you, madam, turning +to the marchioness, I hope will excuse me for having requested of you the +honour of being once more admitted to your presence, and to that of three +brothers, for whom I shall ever retain the most respectful affection. I +could not think of leaving a city, where one of the first families in it +has done me the highest honour, without taking such a leave as might shew +my gratitude.--Accept, my lords, bowing to each; accept, madam, more +profoundly bowing to the marchioness, my respectful thanks for all your +goodness to me. I shall, to the end of my life, number most of the days +that I have passed at Bologna among its happiest, even were the remainder +to be as happy as man ever knew. + +The marquis said, We wish you, chevalier, very happy; happier than--He +sighed, and was silent. + +His lady only bowed. Her face spoke distress. Her voice was lost in +sighs, though she struggled to suppress them. + +Chevalier, said the bishop, with an air of solemnity, you have given us +many happy hours: for them we thank you. Jeronymo, for himself, will say +more: he is the most grateful of men. We thank you also for what you +have done for him. + +I cannot, said Jeronymo, express suitably my gratitude: my prayers, my +vows, shall follow you whithersoever you go, best of friends, and best of +men! + +The general, with an air and a smile that might have been dispensed with, +oddly said, High pleasure and high pain are very near neighbours: they +are often guilty of excesses, and then are apt to mistake each other's +house. I am one of those who think our whole house obliged to the +chevalier for the seasonable assistance he gave to our Jeronymo. But-- + +Dear general, said Lady Juliana, bear with an interruption: the intent of +this meeting is amicable. The chevalier is a man of honour. Things may +have fallen out unhappily; yet nobody to blame. + +As to blame, or otherwise, said the Conte della Porretta, that is not now +to be talked of; else, I know where it lies: in short, among ourselves. +The chevalier acted greatly by Signor Jeronymo: we were all obliged to +him: but to let such a man as this have free admission to our daughter-- +She ought to have had no eyes. + +Pray, my lord, pray, brother, said the marquis, are we not enough +sufferers? + +The chevalier, said the general, cannot but be gratified by so high a +compliment; and smiled indignantly. + +My lord, replied I to the general, you know very little of the man before +you, if you don't believe him to be the most afflicted man present. + +Impossible! said the marquis, with a sigh. + +The marchioness arose from her seat, motioning to go; and turning round +to the two ladies, and the count, I have resigned my will to the will of +you all, my dearest friends, and shall be permitted to withdraw. This +testimony, however, before I go, I cannot but bear: Wherever the fault +lay, it lay not with the chevalier. He has, from the first to the last, +acted with the nicest honour. He is entitled to our respect. The +unhappiness lies nowhere but in the difference of religion. + +Well, and that now is absolutely out of the question, said the general: +it is indeed, chevalier. + +I hope, my lord, from a descendant of a family so illustrious, to find an +equal exemption from wounding words, and wounding looks; and that, sir, +as well from your generosity, as from your justice. + +My looks give you offence, chevalier!--Do they? + +I attended to the marchioness. She came towards me. I arose, and +respectfully took her hand.--Chevalier, said she, I could not withdraw +without bearing the testimony I have borne to your merits. I wish you +happy.--God protect you, whithersoever you go. Adieu. + +She wept. I bowed on her hand with profound respect. She retired with +precipitation. It was with difficulty that I suppressed the rising tear. +I took my seat. + +I made no answer to the general's last question, though it was spoken in +such a way (I saw by their eyes) as took every other person's notice. + +Lady Sforza, when her sister was retired, hinted, that the last interview +between the young lady and me was an unadvised permission, though +intended for the best. + +I then took upon me to defend that step. Lady Clementina, said I, had +declared, that if she were allowed to speak her whole mind to me, she +should be easy. I had for some time given myself up to absolute despair. +The marchioness intended not favour to me in allowing of the interview: +it was the most affecting one to me I had ever known. But let me say, +that, far from having bad effects on the young lady's mind, it had good +ones. I hardly knew how to talk upon a subject so very interesting to +every one present, but not more so to any one than to myself. I thought +of avoiding it; and have been led into it, but did not lead. And since +it is before us, let me recommend, as the most effectual way to restore +every one to peace and happiness, gentle treatment. The most generous of +human minds, the most meek, the most dutiful, requires not harsh +methods. + +How do you know, sir, said the general, and looked at Jeronymo, the +methods now taken-- + +And are they then harsh, my lord? said I. + +He was offended. + +I had heard, proceeded I, that a change of measures was resolved on. I +knew that the treatment before had been all gentle, condescending, +indulgent. I received but yesterday letters from my father, signifying +his intention of speedily recalling me to my native country. I shall set +out very soon for Paris, where I hope to meet with his more direct +commands for this long-desired end. What may be my destiny, I know not; +but I shall carry with me a heart burdened with the woes of this family, +and distressed for the beloved daughter of it. But let me bespeak you +all, for your own sakes, (mine is out of the question: I presume not upon +any hope on my own account,) that you will treat this angelic-minded lady +with tenderness. I pretend to say, that I know that harsh or severe +methods will not do. + +The general arose from his seat, and, with a countenance of fervor, next +to fierceness--Let me tell you, Grandison, said he-- + +I arose from mine, and going to Lady Sforza, who sat next him, he stopt, +supposing me going to him, and seemed surprised, and attentive to my +motions: but, disregarding him, I addressed myself to that lady. You, +madam, are the aunt of Lady Clementina: the tender, the indulgent mother +is absent, and has declared, that she resigns her will to the will of her +friends present--Allow me to supplicate, that former measures may not be +changed with her. Great dawnings of returning reason did I discover in +our last interview. Her delicacy (never was there a more delicate mind) +wanted but to be satisfied. It was satisfied, and she began to be easy. +Were her mind but once composed, the sense she has of her duty, and what +she owes to her religion, would restore her to your wishes: but if she +should be treated harshly, (though I am sure, if she should, it would be +with the best intention,) Clementina will be lost. + +The general sat down. They all looked upon one another. The two ladies +dried their eyes. The starting tear would accompany my fervor. And then +stepping to Jeronymo, who was extremely affected; My dear Jeronymo, said +I, my friend, my beloved friend, cherish in your noble heart the memory +of your Grandison: would to God I could attend you to England! We have +baths there of sovereign efficacy. The balm of a friendly and grateful +heart would promote the cure. I have urged it before. Consider of it. + +My Grandison, my dear Grandison, my friend, my preserver! You are not +going!-- + +I am, my Jeronymo, and embraced him. Love me in absence, as I shall you. + +Chevalier, said the bishop, you don't go? We hope for your company at a +small collation.--We must not part with you yet. + +I cannot, my lord, accept the favour. Although I had given myself up to +despair of obtaining the happiness to which I once aspired; yet I was not +willing to quit a city that this family had made dear to me, with the +precipitation of a man conscious of misbehaviour. I thank you for the +permission I had to attend you all in full assembly. May God prosper +you, my lord; and may you be invested with the first honours of that +church which must be adorned by so worthy a heart! It will be my glory, +when I am in my native place, or wherever I am, to remember that I was +once thought not unworthy of a rank in a family so respectable. Let me, +my lord, be entitled to your kind remembrance. + +He pulled out his handkerchief. My lord, said he, to his father; my +Lord, to the general; Grandison must not go!--and sat down with emotion. + +Lady Sforza wept: Laurana seemed moved: the two young lords, Sebastiano +and Juliano, were greatly affected. + +I then addressed myself to the marquis, who sat undetermined, as to +speech: My venerable lord, forgive me, that my address was not first paid +here. My heart overflows with gratitude for your goodness in permitting +me to throw myself at your feet, before I took a last farewell of a city +favoured with your residence. Best of fathers, of friends, of men, let +me entreat the continuance of your paternal indulgence to the child +nearest, and deserving to be nearest, to your heart. She is all you and +her mother. Restore her to yourself, and to her, by your indulgence: +that alone, and a blessing on your prayers, can restore her. Adieu, my +good lord: repeated thanks for all your hospitable goodness to a man that +will ever retain a grateful sense of your favour. + +You will not yet go, was all he said--he seemed in agitation. He could +not say more. + +I then, turning to the count his brother, who sat next him, said, I have +not the honour to be fully known to your lordship: some prejudices from +differences in opinion may have been conceived: but if you ever hear +anything of the man before you unworthy of his name, and of the favour +once designed him; then, my lord, blame, as well as wonder at, the +condescension of your noble brother and sister in my favour. + +Who, I! Who, I! said that lord, in some hurry.--I think very well of +you. I never saw a man, in my life, that I liked so well! + +Your lordship does me honour. I say this the rather, as I may, on this +solemn occasion, taking leave of such honourable friends, charge my +future life with resolutions to behave worthy of the favour I have met +with in this family. + +I passed from him to the general--Forgive, my lord, said I, the seeming +formality of my behaviour in this parting scene: it is a very solemn one +to me. You have expressed yourself of me, and to me, my lord, with more +passion, (forgive me, I mean not to offend you,) than perhaps you will +approve in yourself when I am far removed from Italy. For have you not a +noble mind? And are you not a son of the Marquis della Porretta? Permit +me to observe, that passion will make a man exalt himself, and degrade +another; and the just medium will be then forgot. I am afraid I have +been thought more lightly of, than I ought to be, either in justice, or +for the honour of a person who is dear to every one present. My country +was once mentioned with disdain: think not my vanity so much concerned in +what I am going to say, as my honour: I am proud to be thought an +Englishman: yet I think as highly of every worthy man of every nation +under the sun, as I do of the worthy men of my own. I am not of a +contemptible race in my own country. My father lives in it with the +magnificence of a prince. He loves his son; yet I presume to add, that +that son deems his good name his riches; his integrity his grandeur. +Princes, though they are entitled by their rank to respect, are princes +to him only as they act. + +A few words more, my lord. + +I have been of the hearing, not of the speaking side of the question, in +the two last conferences I had the honour to hold with your lordship. +Once you unkindly mentioned the word triumph. The word at the time went +to my heart. When I can subdue the natural warmth of my temper, then, +and then only, I have a triumph. I should not have remembered this, had +I not now, my lord, on this solemn occasion, been received by you with an +indignant eye. I respect your lordship too much not to take notice of +this angry reception. My silence upon it, perhaps, would look like +subscribing before this illustrious company to the justice of your +contempt: yet I mean no other notice than this; and this to demonstrate +that I was not, in my own opinion at least, absolutely unworthy of the +favour I met with from the father, the mother, the brothers, you so +justly honour, and which I wished to stand in with you. + +And now, my lord, allow me the honour of your hand; and, as I have given +you no cause for displeasure, say, that you will remember me with +kindness, as I shall honour you and your whole family to the last day of +my life. + +The general heard me out; but it was with great emotion. He accepted not +my hand; he returned not any answer: the bishop arose, and, taking him +aside, endeavoured to calm him. + +I addressed myself to the two young lords, and said, that if ever their +curiosity led them to visit England, where I hoped to be in a few months, +I should be extremely glad of cultivating their esteem and favour, by the +best offices I could do them. + +They received my civility with politeness. + +I addressed myself next to Lady Laurana--May you, madam, the friend, the +intimate, the chosen companion of Lady Clementina, never know the +hundredth part of the woe that fills the breast of the man before you, +for the calamity that has befallen your admirable cousin, and, because of +that, a whole excellent family. Let me recommend to you, that tender and +soothing treatment to her, which her tender heart would shew to you, in +any calamity that should befall you. I am not a bad man, madam, though +of a different communion from yours. Think but half so charitably of me, +as I do of every one of your religion who lives up to his professions, +and I shall be happy in your favourable thoughts when you hear me spoken +of. + +It is easy to imagine, Dr. Bartlett, that I addressed myself in this +manner to this lady whom I had never before seen, that she might not +think the harder of her cousin's prepossessions in favour of a +Protestant. + +I recommended myself to the favour of Father Marescotti. He assured me +of his esteem, in very warm terms. + +And just as I was again applying to my Jeronymo, the general came to me: +You cannot think, sir, said he, nor did you design it, I suppose, that I +should be pleased with your address to me. I have only this question to +ask, When do you quit Bologna? + +Let me ask your lordship, said I, when do you return to Naples? + +Why that question, sir? haughtily. + +I will answer you frankly. Your lordship, at the first of my +acquaintance with you, invited me to Naples. I promised to pay my +respects to you there. If you think of being there in a week, I will +attend you at your own palace in that city; and there, my lord, I hope, +no cause to the contrary having arisen from me, to be received by you +with the same kindness and favour that you shewed when you gave me the +invitation. I think to leave Bologna to-morrow. + +O brother! said the bishop, are you not now overcome? + +And are you in earnest? said the general. + +I am, my lord. I have many valuable friends, at different courts and +cities in Italy, to take leave of. I never intend to see it again. I +would look upon your lordship as one of those friends; but you seem still +displeased with me. You accepted not my offered hand before; once more I +tender it. A man of spirit cannot be offended at a man of spirit, +without lessening himself. I call upon your dignity, my lord. + +He held out his hand, just as I was withdrawing mine. I have pride, you +know, Dr. Bartlett; and I was conscious of a superiority in this +instance: I took his hand, however, at his offer; yet pitied him, that +his motion was made at all, as it wanted that grace which generally +accompanies all he does and says. + +The bishop embraced me.--Your moderation, thus exerted, said he, must +ever make you triumph. O Grandison! you are a prince of the Almighty's +creation. + +The noble Jeronymo dried his eyes, and held out his arms to embrace me. + +The general said, I shall certainly be at Naples in a week. I am too +much affected by the woes of my family, to behave as perhaps I ought on +this occasion. Indeed, Grandison, it is difficult for sufferers to act +with spirit and temper at the same time. + +It is, my lord; I have found it so. My hopes raised, as once they were, +now sunk, and absolute despair having taken place of them--Would to God I +had never returned to Italy!--But I reproach not any body. + +Yet, said Jeronymo, you have some reason--To be sent for as you were-- + +He was going on--Pray, brother, said the general--And turning to me, I +may expect you, sir, at Naples? + +You may, my lord. But one favour I have to beg of you mean time. It is, +that you will not treat harshly your dear Clementina. Would to Heaven I +might have had the honour to say, my Clementina! And permit me to make +one other request on my own account: and that is, that you will tell her, +that I took my leave of your whole family, by their kind permission; and +that, at my departure, I wished her, from my soul, all the happiness that +the best and tenderest of her friends can wish her! I make this request +to you, my lord, rather than to Signor Jeronymo, because the tenderness +which he has for me might induce him to mention me to her in a manner +which might, at this time, affect her too sensibly for her peace. + +Be pleased, my dear Signor Jeronymo, to make my devotion known to the +marchioness. Would to Heaven--But adieu! and once more adieu, my +Jeronymo. I shall hear from you when I get to Naples, if not before.-- +God restore your sister, and heal you! + +I bowed to the marquis, to the ladies, to the general, to the bishop, +particularly; to the rest in general; and was obliged, in order to +conceal my emotion, to hurry out at the door. The servants had planted +themselves in a row; not for selfish motives, as in England: they bowed +to the ground, and blessed me, as I went through them. I had ready a +purse of ducats. One hand and another declined it: I dropt it in their +sight. God be with you, my honest friends! said I; and departed--O, Dr. +Bartlett, with a heart how much distressed! + + +And now, my good Miss Byron, Have I not reason, from the deep concern +which you take in the woes of Lady Clementina, to regret the task you +have put me upon? And do you, my good Lord and Lady L----, and Miss +Grandison, now wonder that your brother has not been forward to give you +the particulars of this melancholy tale? Yet you all say, I must +proceed. + + +See, Lucy, the greatness of this man's behaviour! What a presumption was +it in your Harriet, ever to aspire to call such a one hers! + + + +LETTER II + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +This Lady Olivia, Lucy, what can she pretend to--But I will not puzzle +myself about her--Yet she pretend to give disturbance to such a man! You +will find her mentioned in Dr. Bartlett's next letter; or she would not +have been named by me. + + +*** + + +DR. BARTLETT'S ELEVENTH LETTER + +Mr. Grandison, on his return to his lodgings, found there, in disguise, +Lady Olivia. He wanted not any new disturbance. But I will not mix the +stories. + +The next morning he received a letter from Signor Jeronymo. The +following is a translation of it: + + +*** + + +My dearest Grandison! + +How do you?--Ever amiable friend! What triumphs did your behaviour of +last night obtain for you! Not a soul here but admires you! + +Even Laurana declared, that, were you a Catholic, it would be a merit to +love you. Yet she reluctantly praised you, and once said, What, but +splendid sins, are the virtues of a heretic? + +Our two cousins, with the good-nature of youth, lamented that you could +not be ours in the way you wish. My father wept like a child, when you +were gone; and seemed to enjoy the praises given you by every one. The +count said, he never saw a nobler behaviour in man. Your free, your +manly, your polite air and address, and your calmness and intrepidity, +were applauded by every one. + +What joy did this give to your Jeronymo! I thought I wanted neither +crutches, helps, nor wheeled chair; and several times forgot that I ailed +any thing. + +I begin to love Father Marescotti. He was with the foremost in praising +you. + +The general owned, that he was resolved once to quarrel with you. But +will he, do you think, Jeronymo, said he, make me a visit at Naples? + +You may depend upon it, he will, answered I---- + +I will be there to receive him, replied he. + +They admired you particularly for your address to my sister, by the +general, rather than by me. And Lady Sforza said, it was a thousand +pities that you and Clementina could not be one. They applauded, all of +them, what they had not, any of them, the power to imitate, that +largeness of heart which makes you think so well, and speak so tenderly, +of those of communions different from your own. So much steadiness in +your own religion, yet so much prudence, in a man so young, they said, +was astonishing! No wonder that your character ran so high, in every +court you had visited. + +My mother came in soon after you had left us. She was equally surprised +and grieved to find you gone. She thought she was sure of your staying +supper; and, not satisfied with the slight leave she had taken, she had +been strengthening her mind to pass an hour in your company, in order to +take a more solemn one. + +My father asked her after her daughter. + +Poor soul! said she, she has heard that the chevalier was to be here, to +take leave of us. + +By whom? by whom? said my father. + +I cannot tell: but the poor creature is half-raving to be admitted among +us. She has dressed herself in one of her best suits; and I found her +sitting in a kind of form, expecting to be called down. Indeed, Lady +Sforza, the method we are in, does not do. So the chevalier said, +replied that lady. Well, let us change it, with all my heart. It is no +pleasure to treat the dear girl harshly--O sister! this is a most +extraordinary man! + +That moment in bolted Camilla--Lady Clementina is just at the door. I +could not prevail upon her-- + +We all looked upon one another. + +Three soft taps at the door, and a hem, let us know she was there. + +Let her come in, dear girl, let her come in, said the count: the +chevalier is not here. + +Laurana arose, and ran to the door, and led her in by the hand. + +Dear creature, how wild she looked!--Tears ran down my cheeks: I had not +seen her for two days before. O how earnestly did she look round her! +withdrawing her hand from her cousin, who would have led her to a chair, +and standing quite still. + +Come and sit by me, my sweet love, said her weeping mother.--She stept +towards her. + +Sit down, my dear girl. + +No: you beat me, remember. + +Who beat you, my dear?--Sure nobody would beat my child!--Who beat you, +Clementina? + +I don't know--Still looking round her, as wanting somebody. + +Again her mother courted her to sit down. + +No, madam, you don't love me. + +Indeed, my dear, I do. + +So you say. + +Her father held out his open arms to her. Tears ran down his cheeks. He +could not speak.--Ah, my father! said she, stepping towards him. + +He caught her in his arms--Don't, don't, sir, faintly struggling, with +averted face--You love me not--You refused to see your child, when she +wanted to claim your protection!--I was used cruelly. + +By whom, my dear? by whom? + +By every body. I complained to one, and to another; but all were in a +tone: and so I thought I would be contented. My mamma, too!--But it is +no matter. I saw it was to be so; and I did not care. + +By my soul, said I, this is not the way with her, Lady Sforza. The +chevalier is in the right. You see how sensible she is of harsh +treatment. + +Well, well, said the general, let us change our measures. + +Still the dear girl looked out earnestly, as for somebody. + +She loosed herself from the arms of her sorrowing father. + +Let us in silence, said the count, observe her motions. + +She went to him on tip-toe, and looking in his face over his shoulder, as +he sat with his back towards her, passed him; then to the general; then +to Signor Sebastiano; and to every one round, till she came to me; +looking at each over his shoulder in the same manner: then folding her +fingers, her hands open, and her arms hanging down to their full extent, +she held up her face meditating, with such a significant woe, that I +thought my heart would have burst.--Not a soul in the company had a dry +eye. + +Lady Sforza arose, took her two hands, the fingers still clasped, and +would have spoken to her, but could not; and hastily retired to her seat. + +Tears, at last, began to trickle down her cheeks, as she stood fixedly +looking up. She started, looked about her, and hastening to her mother, +threw her arms about her neck; and, hiding her face in her bosom, broke +out into a flood of tears, mingled with sobs that penetrated every heart. + +The first words she said, were, Love me, my mamma! Love your child! your +poor child! your Clementina! Then raising her head, and again laying it +in her mother's bosom--If ever you loved me, love me now, my mamma!--I +have need of your love! + +My father was forced to withdraw. He was led out by his two sons. + +Your poor Jeronymo was unable to help himself. He wanted as much comfort +as his father. What were the wounds of his body, at that time, to those +of his mind? + +My two brothers returned. This dear girl, said the bishop, will break +all our hearts. + +Her tears had seemed to relieve her. She held up her head. My mother's +bosom seemed wet with her child's tears and her own. Still she looked +round her. + +Suppose, said I, somebody were to name the man she seems to look for? It +may divert this wildness. + +Did she come down, said Laurana to Camilla, with the expectation of +seeing him? + +She did. + +Let me, said the bishop, speak to her. He arose, and, taking her hand, +walked with her about the room. You look pretty, my Clementina! Your +ornaments are charmingly fancied. What made you dress yourself so +prettily? + +She looked earnestly at him, in silence. He repeated his question--I +speak, said she, all my heart; and then I suffer for it. Every body is +against me. + +You shall not suffer for it: every body is for you. + +I confessed to Mrs. Beaumont; I confessed to you, brother: but what did I +get by it?--Let go my hand. I don't love you, I believe. + +I am sorry for it. I love you, Clementina, as I love my own soul! + +Yet you never chide your own soul! + +He turned his face from her to us. She must not be treated harshly, said +he. He soothed her in a truly brotherly manner. + +Tell me, added he to his soothings, Did you expect any body here, that +you find not? + +Did I? Yes, I did.--Camilla, come hither.--Let go my hand, brother. + +He did. She took Camilla under the arm--Don't you know, Camilla, said +she, what you heard said of somebody's threatening somebody?--Don't let +anybody hear us; drawing her to one end of the room.--I want to take a +walk with you into the garden, Camilla. + +It is dark night, madam. + +No matter. If you are afraid, I will go by myself. + +Seem to humour her in talk, Camilla, said the count; but don't go out of +the room with her. + +Be pleased to tell me, madam, what we are to walk in the garden for? + +Why, Camilla, I had a horrid dream last night; and I cannot be easy till +I go into the garden. + +What, madam, was your dream? + +In the orange grove, I thought I stumbled over the body of a dead man! + +And who was it, madam? + +Don't you know who was threatened? And was not somebody here to night? +And was not somebody to sup here? And is he here? + +The general then went to her. My dearest Clementina; my beloved sister; +set your heart at rest. Somebody is safe: shall be safe. + +She took first one of his hands, then the other; and looking in the palms +of them, They are not bloody, said she.--What have you done with him, +then? Where is he? + +Where is who? + +You know whom I ask after; but you want something against me. + +Then stepping quick up to me: My Jeronymo!--Did I see you before? and +stroked my cheek.--Now tell me, Jeronymo--Don't come near me, Camilla. +Pray, sir, to the general, do you sit down. She leaned her arm upon my +shoulder: I don't hurt you, Jeronymo: do I? + +No, my dearest Clementina! + +That's my best brother.--Cruel assassins!--But the brave man came just in +time to save you.--But do you know what is become of him? + +He is safe, my dear. He could not stay. + +Did any body affront him? + +No, my love. + +Are you sure nobody did?--Very sure? Father Marescotti, said she, turning +to him, (who wept from the time she entered,) you don't love him: but you +are a good man, and will tell me truth. Where is he? Did nobody affront +him? + +No, madam. + +Because, said she, he never did any thing but good to any one. + +Father Marescotti, said I, admires him as much as any body. + +Admire him! Father Marescotti admire him!--But he does not love him. +And I never heard him say one word against Father Marescotti in my life. +--Well, but, Jeronymo, what made him go away, then? Was he not to stay +supper? + +He was desired to stay; but would not. + +Jeronymo, let me whisper you--Did he tell you that I wrote him a letter? + +I guessed you did, whispered I. + +You are a strange guesser: but you can't guess how I sent it to him--But +hush, Jeronymo--Well, but, Jeronymo, Did he say nothing of me, when he +went away? + +He left his compliments for you with the general. + +With the general! The general won't tell me! + +Yes, he will.--Brother, pray tell my sister what the chevalier said to +you, at parting. + +He repeated, exactly, what you had desired him to say to her. + +Why would they not let me see him? said she. Am I never to see him more? + +I hope you will, replied the bishop. + +If, resumed she, we could have done any thing that might have looked like +a return to his goodness to us (and to you, my Jeronymo, in particular) I +believe I should have been easy.--And so you say he is gone?--And gone +for ever! lifting up her hand from her wrist, as it lay over my shoulder: +Poor chevalier!--But hush, hush, pray hush, Jeronymo. + +She went from me to her aunt, and cousin Laurana. Love me again, madam, +said she, to the former. You loved me once. + +I never loved you better than now, my dear. + +Did you, Laurana, see the Chevalier Grandison? + +I did. + +And did he go away safe, and unhurt? + +Indeed he did. + +A man who had preserved the life of our dear Jeronymo, said she, to have +been hurt by us, would have been dreadful, you know. I wanted to say a +few words to him. I was astonished to find him not here: and then my +dream came into my head. It was a sad dream, indeed! But, cousin, be +good to me: pray do. You did not use to be cruel. You used to say, you +loved me. I am in calamity, my dear. I know I am miserable. At times I +know I am; and then I am grieved at my heart, and think how happy every +one is, but me: but then, again, I ail nothing, and am well. But do love +me, Laurana: I am in calamity, my dear. I would love you, if you were in +calamity: indeed I would.--Ah, Laurana! What is become of all your fine +promises? But then every body loved me, and I was happy!--Yet you tell +me, it is all for my good. Naughty Laurana, to wound my heart by your +crossness, and then say, it is for my good!--Do you think I should have +served you so? + +Laurana blushed, and wept. Her aunt promised her, that every body would +love her, and comfort her, and not be angry with her, if she would make +her heart easy. + +I am very particular, my dear Grandison. I know you love I should be so. +From this minuteness, you will judge of the workings of her mind. They +are resolved to take your advice, (it was very seasonable,) and treat her +with indulgence. The count is earnest to have it so. + + +*** + + +Camilla has just left me. She says, that her young lady had a tolerable +night. She thinks it owing, in a great measure, to her being indulged in +asking the servants, who saw you depart, how you looked; and being +satisfied that you went away unhurt, and unaffronted. + +Adieu, my dearest, my best friend. Let me hear from you, as often as you +can. + + +*** + + +I just now understand from Camilla, that the dear girl has made an +earnest request to my father, mother, and aunt; and been refused. She +came back from them deeply afflicted; and, as Camilla fears, is going +into one of her gloomy fits again. I hope to write again, if you depart +not from Bologna before to-morrow: but I must, for my own sake, write +shorter letters. Yet how can I? Since, however melancholy the subject, +when I am writing to you, I am conversing with you. My dear Grandison, +once more adieu. + + +O Lucy, my dear! Whence come all the tears this melancholy story has +cost me? I cannot dwell upon the scenes!--Begone, all those wishes that +would interfere with the interest of that sweet distressed saint at +Bologna! + +How impolitic, Lucy, was it in them, not to gratify her impatience to see +him! She would, most probably, have been quieted in her mind, if she had +been obliged by one other interview. + +What a delicacy, my dear, what a generosity, is there in her love! + +Sir Charles, in Lord L----'s study, said to me, that his compassion was +engaged, but his honour was free: and so it seems to be: but a generosity +in return for her generosity, must bind such a mind as his. + + + +LETTER III + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +In the doctor's next letter, enclosed, you will find mention made of Sir +Charles's Literary Journal. I fancy, my dear, it must be a charming +thing. I wish we could have before us every line he wrote while he was +in Italy. Once the presumptuous Harriet had hopes, that she might have +been entitled--But no more of these hopes--It can't be helped, Lucy. + + +*** + + +DR. BARTLETT'S TWELFTH LETTER + +Mr. Grandison proceeds thus: + +The next morning I employed myself in visiting and taking leave of +several worthy members of the university, with whom I had passed many +very agreeable and improving hours, during my residence in this noble +city. In my Literary Journal you have an account of those worthy +persons, and of some of our conversations. I paid my duty to the +cardinal legate, and the gonfaloniere, and to three of his counsellors, +by whom, you know, I had been likewise greatly honoured. My mind was not +free enough to enjoy their conversation: such a weight upon my heart, how +could it? But the debt of gratitude and civility was not to be left +unpaid. + +On my return to my lodgings, which was not till the evening, I found, the +general had been there to inquire after me. + +I sent one of my servants to the palace of Porretta, with my compliments +to the general, to the bishop, and Jeronymo; and with particular +inquiries after the health of the ladies, and the marquis; but had only a +general answer, that they were much as I left them. + +The two young lords, Sebastiano and Juliano, made me a visit of ceremony. +They talked of visiting England in a year or two. I assured them of my +best services, and urged them to go thither. I asked them after the +healths of the marquis, the marchioness, and their beloved cousin +Clementina. Signor Sebastiano shook his head: very, very indifferent, +were his words. We parted with great civilities. + +I will now turn my thoughts to Florence, and to the affairs there that +have lain upon me, from the death of my good friend Mr. Jervois, and from +my wardship. I told you in their course, the steps I took in those +affairs; and how happy I had been in some parts of management. There I +hope soon to see you, my dear Dr. Bartlett, from the Levant, to whose +care I can so safely consign my precious trust, while I go to Paris, and +attend the wished-for call of my father to my native country, from which +I have been for so many years an exile. + +There also, I hope to have some opportunities of conversing with my good +Mrs. Beaumont; resolving to make another effort to get so valuable a +person to restore herself to my beloved England. + +Thus, my dear Dr. Bartlett, do I endeavour to console myself, in order to +lighten that load of grief which I labour under on the distresses of the +dear Clementina. If I can leave her happy, I shall be sooner so, than I +could have been in the same circumstances, had I, from the first of my +acquaintance with the family, (to the breach of all the laws of +hospitality,) indulged a passion for her. + +Yet is the unhappy Olivia a damp upon my endeavours after consolation. +When she made her unseasonable visit to me at Bologna, she refused to +return to Florence without me, till I assured her, that as my affairs +would soon call me thither, I would visit her at her own palace, as often +as those affairs would permit. Her pretence for coming to Bologna was, +to induce me to place Emily with her, till I had settled every thing for +my carrying the child to England; but I was obliged to be peremptory in +my denial, though she had wrought so with Emily, as to induce her to be +an earnest petitioner to me, to permit her to live with Lady Olivia, +whose equipages, and the glare in which she lives, had dazzled the eyes +of the young lady. + + +*** + + +I was impatient to hear again from Jeronymo; and just as I was setting +out for Florence, in despair of that favour, it being the second day +after my farewell visit, I had the following letter from him: + + +I have not been well, my dear Grandison. I am afraid the wound in my +shoulder must be laid open again. God give me patience! But my life is +a burden to me. + +We are driving here at a strange rate. They promised to keep measures +with the dear creature; but she has heard that you are leaving Bologna, +and raves to see you. + +Poor soul! She endeavoured to prevail upon her father, mother, aunt, to +permit her to see you, but for five minutes: that was the petition which +was denied her, as I mentioned in my last. + +Camilla was afraid that she would go into a gloomy fit upon it, as I told +you--She did; but it lasted not long: for she made an effort, soon after, +to go out of the house by way of the garden. The gardener refused his +key, and brought Camilla to her, whom she had, by an innocent piece of +art, but just before, sent to bring her something from her toilette. + +The general went with Camilla to her. They found her just setting a +ladder against the wall. She heard them, and screamed, and, leaving the +ladder, ran, to avoid them, till she came in sight of the great cascade; +into which, had she not by a cross alley been intercepted by the general, +it is feared she would have thrown herself. + +This has terrified us all: she begs but for one interview; one parting +interview; and she promises to make herself easy: but it is not thought +advisable. Yet Father Marescotti himself thought it best to indulge her. +Had my mother been earnest, I believe it had been granted: but she is so +much concerned at the blame she met with on permitting the last +interview, that she will not contend, though she has let them know, that +she did not oppose the request. + +The unhappy girl ran into my chamber this morning --Jeronymo; he will be +gone! said she: I know he will. All I want, is but to see him! To wish +him happy! And to know, if he will remember me when he is gone, as I +shall him!--Have you no interest, Jeronymo? Cannot I once see him? Not +once? + +The bishop, before I could answer, came in quest of her, followed by +Laurana, from whom she had forcibly disengaged herself, to come to me. + +Let me have but one parting interview, my lord, said she, looking to him, +and clinging about my neck. He will be gone: gone for ever. Is there so +much in being allowed to say, Farewell, and be happy, Grandison! and +excuse all the trouble I have given you?--What has my brother's preserver +done, what have I done, that I must not see him, nor he me, for one +quarter of an hour only? + +Indeed, my lord, said I, she should be complied with. Indeed she should. + +My father thinks otherwise, said the bishop: the count thinks otherwise: +I think otherwise. Were the chevalier a common man, she might. But she +dwells upon what passed in the last interview, and his behaviour to her. +That, it is plain, did her harm. + +The next may drive the thoughts of that out of her head, returned I. + +Dear Jeronymo, replied he, a little peevishly, you will always think +differently from every body else! Mrs. Beaumont comes to-morrow. + +What do I care for Mrs. Beaumont? said she.--I don't love her: she tells +every thing I say. + +Come, my dear love, said Laurana, you afflict your brother Jeronymo. Let +us go up to your own chamber. + +I afflict every body, and every body afflicts me; and you are all cruel. +Why, he will be gone, I tell you! That makes me so impatient: and I have +something to say to him. My father won't see me: my mother renounces me. +I have been looking for her, and she hides herself from me!--And I am a +prisoner, and watched, and used ill! + +Here comes my mother! said Laurana. You now must go up to your chamber, +cousin Clementina. + +So she does, said she; now I must go, indeed!--Ah, Jeronymo! Now there +is no saying nay.--But it is hard! very hard!--And she burst into tears. +I won't speak though, said she, to my aunt. Remember, I will be silent, +madam!--Then whispering me, My aunt, brother, is not the aunt she used to +be to me!--But hush, I don't complain, you know! + +By this I saw that Lady Sforza was severe with her. + +She addressed herself to her aunt: You are not my mamma, are you, madam? + +No, child. + +No, child, indeed! I know that too well. But my brother Giacomo is as +cruel to me as any body. But hush, Jeronymo!--Don't you betray me!--Now +my aunt is come, I must go!--I wish I could run away from you all! + +She was yesterday detected writing a letter to you. My mother was shewn +what she had written, and wept over it. My aunt took it out of my +sister's bosom, where she had thrust it, on her coming in. This she +resented highly. + +When she was led into her own chamber, she refused to speak; but in great +hurry went to her closet, and, taking down her bible, turned over one +leaf and another very quick. Lady Sforza had a book in her hand, and sat +over-against the closet-door to observe her motions. She came to a +place--Pretty! said she. + +The bishop had formerly given her a smattering of Latin--She took pen and +ink, and wrote. You'll see, chevalier, the very great purity of her +thoughts, by what she omitted, and what she chose, from the Canticles. +Velut unguentum diffunditur nomen tuum &c. + +[In the English translation, thus: Thy name is as ointment poured forth; +therefore do the virgins love thee. Draw me; we will run after thee: the +upright love thee. + +Look not upon me because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me. +My mother's children were angry with me: they made me the keeper of the +vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept. + +Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth! where thou feedest, where thou +makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth +aside by the flocks of thy companions?] + +She laid down her pen, and was thoughtful; her elbow resting on the +escritoire she wrote upon, her hand supporting her head. + +May I look over you, my dear? said her aunt, stepping to her; and, taking +up the paper, read it, and took it out of the closet with her, unopposed; +her gentle bosom only heaving sighs. + +I will write no more, so minutely, on this affecting subject, my +Grandison. + +They are all of opinion that she will be easy, when she knows that you +have actually left Bologna; and they strengthen their opinion by these +words of hers, above-recited; 'Why he will be gone, I tell you; and this +makes me so impatient.'--At least, they are resolved to try the +experiment. And so, my dear Grandison, you must be permitted to leave +us! + +God be your director and comforter, as well as ours! prays + +Your ever affectionate +JERONYMO. + + +*** + + +Mr. Grandison, having no hopes of being allowed to see the unhappy lady, +set out with a heavy heart for Florence. He gave orders there, and at +Leghorn, that the clerks and agents of his late friend Mr. Jervois should +prepare every thing for his inspection against his return from Naples; +and then he set out for that city, to attend the general. + +He had other friends to whom he had endeared himself at Sienna, Ancona, +and particularly at Rome, as he had also some at Naples; of whom he +intended to take leave, before he set out for Paris: and therefore went +to attend the general with the greater pleasure. + +Within the appointed time he arrived at Naples. + +The general received me, said Mr. Grandison, with greater tokens of +politeness than affection. You are the happiest man in the world, +chevalier, said he, after the first compliments, in escaping dangers by +braving them. I do assure you, that I had great difficulties to deny +myself the favour of paying you a visit in my own way at Bologna. I had +indeed resolved to do it, till you proposed this visit to me here. + +I should have been very sorry, replied I, to have seen a brother of Lady +Clementina in any way that should not have made me consider him as her +brother. But, before I say another word, let me ask after her health. +How does the most excellent of women? + +You have not heard, then? + +I have not, my lord: but it is not for want of solicitude: I have sent +three several messengers: but can hear nothing to my satisfaction. + +Nor can you hear any thing from me that will give you any. + +I am grieved at my soul, that I cannot. How, my lord, do the marquis and +marchioness? + +Don't ask. They are extremely unhappy. + +I hear that my dear friend, Signor Jeronymo, has undergone-- + +A dreadful operation, interrupted the general.--He has. Poor Jeronymo! +He could not write to you. God preserve my brother! But, chevalier, you +did not save half a life, though we thank you for that, when you restored +him to our arms. + +I had no reason to boast, my lord, of the accident. I never made a merit +of it. It was a mere accident, and cost me nothing. The service was +greatly over-rated. + +Would to God, chevalier, it had been rendered by any other man in the +world! + +As it has proved, I am sure, my lord, I have reason to join in the wish. + +He shewed me his pictures, statues, and cabinet of curiosities, while +dinner was preparing; but rather for the ostentation of his magnificence +and taste, than to do me pleasure. I even observed an increasing +coldness in his behaviour; and his eye was too often cast upon me with a +fierceness that shewed resentment; and not with the hospitable frankness +that became him to a visitor and guest, who had undertaken a journey of +above two hundred miles, principally to attend him, and to shew him the +confidence he had in his honour. This, as it was more to his dishonour +than mine, I pitied him for. But what most of all disturbed me, was, +that I could not obtain from him any particular intelligence relating to +the health of one person, whose distresses lay heavy upon my heart. + +There were several persons of distinction at dinner; the discourse could +therefore be only general. He paid me great respect at his table, but it +was a solemn one. I was the more uneasy at it, as I apprehended, that +the situation of the Bologna family was more unhappy than when I left +that city. + +He retired with me into his garden. You stay with me at least the week +out, chevalier? + +No, my lord: I have affairs of a deceased friend at Florence and at +Leghorn to settle. To-morrow, as early as I can, I shall set out for +Rome, in my way to Tuscany. + +I am surprised, chevalier. You take something amiss in my behaviour. + +I cannot say that your lordship's countenance (I am a very free speaker) +has that benignity in it, that complacency, which I have had the pleasure +to see in it. + +By G--! chevalier, I could have loved you better than any man in the +world, next to the men of my own family; but I own I see you not here +with so much love as admiration. + +The word admiration, my lord, may require explanation. You may admire at +my confidence: but I thank you for the manly freedom of your +acknowledgment in general. + +By admiration I mean, all that may do you honour. Your bravery in coming +hither, particularly; and your greatness of mind on your taking leave of +us all. But did you not then mean to insult me? + +I meant to observe to you then, as I now do in your own palace, that you +had not treated me as my heart told me I deserved to be treated: but when +I thought your warmth was rising to the uneasiness of your assembled +friends, instead of answering your question about my stay at Bologna, as +you seemed to mean it, I invited myself to an attendance upon you here, +at Naples, in such a manner as surely could not be construed as insult. + +I own, Grandison, you disconcerted me. I had intended to save you that +journey. + +Was that your lordship's meaning, when, in my absence, you called at my +lodgings, the day after the farewell-visit? + +Not absolutely: I was uneasy with myself. I intended to talk to you. +What that talk might have produced, I know not: but had I invited you +out, if I had found you at home, would you have answered my demands? + +According as you had put them. + +Will you answer them now, if I attend you as far as Rome, on your return +to Florence? + +If they are demands fit to be answered. + +Do you expect I will make any that are not fit to be answered? + +My lord, I will explain myself. You had conceived causeless prejudices +against me: you seemed inclined to impute to me a misfortune that was +not, could not be, greater to you than it was to me. I knew my own +innocence: I knew that I was rather an injured man, in having hopes given +me, in which I was disappointed, not by my own fault: whom shall an +innocent and an injured man fear?--Had I feared, my fear might have been +my destruction. For was I not in the midst of your friends? A +foreigner? If I would have avoided you, could I, had you been determined +to seek me?--I would choose to meet even an enemy as a man of honour, +rather than to avoid him as a malefactor. In my country, the law +supposes flight a confession of guilt. Had you made demands upon me that +I had not chosen to answer, I would have expostulated with you. I could +perhaps have done so as calmly as I now speak. If you would not have +been expostulated with, I would have stood upon my defence: but for the +world I would not have hurt a brother of Clementina and Jeronymo, a son +of the marquis and marchioness of Porretta, could I have avoided it. Had +your passion given me any advantage over you, and I had obtained your +sword, (a pistol, had the choice been left to me, I had refused for both +our sakes,) I would have presented both swords to you, and bared my +breast: It was before penetrated by the distresses of the dear +Clementina, and of all your family--Perhaps I should only have said, 'If +your lordship thinks I have injured you, take your revenge.' + +And now, that I am at Naples, let me say, that if you are determined, +contrary to all my hopes, to accompany me to Rome, or elsewhere, on my +return, with an unfriendly purpose; such, and no other, shall be my +behaviour to you, if the power be given me to shew it. I will rely on my +own innocence, and hope by generosity to overcome a generous man. Let +the guilty secure themselves by violence and murder. + +Superlative pride! angrily said he, and stood still, measuring me with +his eye: And could you hope for such an advantage? + +While I, my lord, was calm, and determined only upon self-defence; while +you were passionate, and perhaps rash, as aggressors generally are; I did +not doubt it: but could I have avoided drawing, and preserved your good +opinion, I would not have drawn. Your lordship cannot but know my +principles. + +Grandison, I do know them; and also the general report in your favour for +skill and courage. Do you think I would have heard with patience of the +once proposed alliance, had not your character--And then he was pleased +to say many things in my favour, from the report of persons who had +weight with him; some of whom he named. + +But still, Grandison, said he, this poor girl!--She could not have been +so deeply affected, had not some lover-like arts-- + +Let me, my lord, interrupt you--I cannot bear an imputation of this kind. +Had such arts been used, the lady could not have been so much affected. +Cannot you think of your noble sister, as a daughter of the two houses +from which you sprang? Cannot you see her, as by Mrs. Beaumont's means +we now so lately have been able to see her, struggling nobly with her own +heart, [Why am I put upon this tender subject?] because of her duty and +her religion; and resolved to die rather than encourage a wish that was +not warranted by both?--I cannot, my lord, urge this subject: but there +never was a passion so nobly contended with. There never was a man more +disinterested, and so circumstanced. Remember only, my voluntary +departure from Bologna, against persuasion; and the great behaviour of +your sister on that occasion; great, as it came out to be, when Mrs. +Beaumont brought her to acknowledge what would have been my glory to have +known, could it have been encouraged; but is now made my heaviest +concern. + +Indeed, Grandison, she ever was a noble girl! We are too apt perhaps to +govern ourselves by events, without looking into causes: but the access +you had to her; such a man! and who became known to us from circumstances +so much in his favour, both as a man of principle and bravery-- + +This, my lord, interrupted I, is still judging from events. You have +seen Mrs. Beaumont's letter. Surely you cannot have a nobler monument of +magnanimity in woman! And to that I refer, for a proof of my own +integrity. + +I have that letter: Jeronymo gave it me, at my taking leave of him; and +with these words: 'Grandison will certainly visit you at Naples. I am +afraid of your warmth. His spirit is well known. All my dependance is +upon his principles. He will not draw but in his own defence. Cherish +the noble visitor. Surely, brother, I may depend upon your hospitable +temper. Read over again this letter, before you see him.'--I have not +yet read it, proceeded the general; but I will, and that, if you will +allow me, now. + +He took it out of his pocket, walked from me, and read it; and then came +to me, and took my hand--I am half ashamed of myself, my dear Grandison: +I own I wanted magnanimity. All the distresses of our family, on this +unhappy girl's account, were before my eyes, and I received you, I +behaved to you, as the author of them. I was contriving to be +dissatisfied with you: Forgive me, and command my best services. I will +let our Jeronymo know how greatly you subdued me before I had recourse to +the letter; but that I have since read that part of it which accounts for +my sister's passion, and wish I had read it with equal attention before. +I acquit you: I am proud of my sister. Yet I observe from this very +letter, that Jeronymo's gratitude has contributed to the evil we deplore. +But--Let us not say one word more of the unhappy girl: It is painful to +me to talk of her. + +Not ask a question, my lord?-- + +Don't, Grandison, don't!--Jeronymo and Clementina are my soul's woe--But +they are not worse than might be apprehended. You go to court with me +to-morrow: I will present you to the king. + +I have had that honour formerly. I must depart to-morrow morning early. +I have already taken leave of several of my friends here: I have some to +make my compliments to at Rome, which I reserved for my return. + +You stay with me to-night?--I intend it, my lord. + +Well, we will return to company. I must make my excuses to my friends. +Your departure to-morrow must be one. They all admire you. They are +acquainted with your character. They will join with me to engage you, if +possible, to stay longer.--We returned to the company. + + + +LETTER IV + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +Receive now, my dear, the doctor's thirteenth letter, and the last he +intends to favour us with, till he entertains us with the histories of +Mrs. Beaumont, and Lady Olivia. + + +*** + + +DR. BARTLETT'S THIRTEENTH LETTER + +Mr. Grandison set out next morning. The general's behaviour to him at +his departure, was much more open and free than it was at receiving him. + +Mr. Grandison, on his return to Florence, entered into the affairs of his +late friend Mr. Jervois, with the spirit, and yet with the temper, for +which he is noted, when he engages in any business. He put every thing +in a happy train in fewer days than it would have cost some other persons +months; for he was present himself on every occasion, and in every +business, where his presence would accelerate it; yet he had +embarrassments from Olivia. + +He found, before he set out for Naples, that Mrs. Beaumont, at the +earnest request of the marchioness, was gone to Bologna. At his return, +not hearing any thing from Signor Jeronymo, he wrote to Mrs. Beaumont, +requesting her to inform him of the state of things in that family, as +far as she thought proper; and, particularly, of the health of that dear +friend, on whose silence to three letters he had written, he had the most +melancholy apprehensions. He let that lady know, that he should set out +in a very few days for Paris, if he had no probability of being of +service to the family she favoured with her company. + +To this letter Mrs. Beaumont returned the following answer: + + +SIR, + +I have the favour of yours. We are very miserable here. The servants +are forbidden to answer any inquiries, but generally; and that not truly. + +Your friend, Signor Jeronymo, has gone through a severe operation. He +has been given over; but hopes are now entertained, not of his absolute +recovery, but that he will be no worse than he was before the necessity +for the operation arose. Poor man! He forgot not, however, his sister +and you, when he was out of the power of the opiates that were +administered to him. + +On my coming hither, I found Lady Clementina in a deplorable way: +Sometimes raving, sometimes gloomy; and in bonds--Twice had she given +them apprehensions of fatal attempts: they, therefore, confined her +hands. + +They have been excessively wrong in their management of her: now +soothing, now severe; observing no method. + +She was extremely earnest to see you before you left Bologna. On her +knees repeatedly she besought this favour, and promised to be easy if +they would comply; but they imagined that their compliance would +aggravate the symptoms. + +I very freely blamed them for not complying, at the time when she was so +desirous of seeing you. I told them, that soothing her would probably +then have done good. + +When they knew you were actually gone from Bologna, they told her so. +Camilla shocked me with the description of her rage and despair, on the +communication. This was followed by fits of silence, and the deepest +melancholy. + +They had hopes, on my arrival, that my company would have been of service +to her: but for two days together she regarded me not, nor any thing I +could say to her. On the third of my arrival, finding her confinement +extremely uneasy to her, I prevailed, but with great difficulty, to have +her restored to the use of her hands; and to be allowed to walk with me +in the garden. They had hinted to me their apprehensions about a piece +of water. + +Her woman being near us, if there had been occasion for assistance, I +insensibly led that way. She sat down on a seat over-against the great +cascade; but she made no motion that gave me apprehensions. From this +time she has been fonder of me than before. The day I obtained this +liberty for her, she often clasped her arms about me, and laid her face +in my bosom; and I could plainly see, it was in gratitude for restoring +to her the use of her arms: but she cared not to speak. + +Indeed she generally affects deep silence: yet, at times, I see her very +soul is fretted. She moves to one place, is tired of that, shifts to +another, and another, all round the room. + +I am grieved at my heart for her: I never knew a more excellent young +creature. + +She is very attentive at her devotions, and as constant in them as she +used to be: Every good habit she preserves; yet, at other times, rambles +much. + +She is often for writing letters to you; but when what she writes is +privately taken from her, she makes no inquiry about it, but takes a new +sheet, and begins again. + +Sometimes she draws; but her subjects are generally angels and saints. +She often meditates in a map of the British dominions, and now and then +wishes she were in England. + +Lady Juliana de Sforza is earnest to have her with her at Urbino, or at +Milan, where she has also a noble palace; but I hope it will not be +granted. That lady professes to love her; but she cannot be persuaded +out of her notion of harsh methods, which will never do with Clementina. + +I shall not be able to stay long with her. The discomposure of so +excellent a young creature affects me deeply. Could I do her either good +or pleasure, I should be willing to deny myself the society of my dear +friends at Florence: but I am persuaded, and have hinted as much, that +one interview with you would do more to settle her mind, than all the +methods they have taken. + +I hope, sir, to see you before you leave Italy. It must be at Florence, +not at Bologna, I believe. It is generous of you to propose the latter. + +I have now been here a week, without hope. The doctors they have +consulted are all for severe methods, and low diet. The first, I think, +is in compliment to some of the family. She is so loath to take +nourishment, and when she does, is so very abstemious, that the regimen +is hardly necessary. She never, or but very seldom, used to drink any +thing but water. + +She took it into her poor head several times this day, and perhaps it +will hold, to sit in particular places, to put on attentive looks, as if +she were listening to somebody. She sometimes smiled, and seemed +pleased; looked up, as if to somebody, and spoke English. I have no +doubt, though I was not present when she assumed these airs, and talked +English, but her disordered imagination brought before her her tutor +instructing her in that tongue. + +You desired me, sir, to be very particular. I have been so; but at the +expense of my eyes: and I shall not wonder if your humane heart should be +affected by my sad tale. + +God preserve you, and prosper you in whatsoever you undertake! + +HORTENSIA BEAUMONT + + +Mrs. Beaumont staid at Bologna twelve days, and then left the unhappy +young lady. + +At taking leave, she asked her, what commands she had for her?--Love me, +said she, and pity me; that is one. Another is, (whispering her,) you +will see the chevalier, perhaps, though I must not.--Tell him, that his +poor friend Clementina is sometimes very unhappy!--Tell him, that she +shall rejoice to sit next him in heaven!--Tell him, that I say he cannot +go thither, good man as he is, while he shuts his eyes to the truth.-- +Tell him, that I shall take it very kindly of him, if he will not think +of marrying till he acquaints me with it; and can give me assurance, that +the lady will love him as well as somebody else would have done.--O Mrs. +Beaumont! should the Chevalier Grandison marry a woman unworthy of him, +what a disgrace would that be to me! + +Mr. Grandison by this time had prepared everything for his journey to +Paris. The friend he honoured with his love, was arrived from the +Levant, and the Archipelago. Thither, at his patron's request, he had +accompanied Mr. Beauchamp, the amiable friend of both; and at parting, +engaged to continue by letter what had been the subject of their daily +conversations, and transmit to him as many particulars as he could obtain +of Mr. Grandison's sentiments and behaviour, on every occasion; Mr. +Beauchamp proposing him as a pattern to himself, that he might be worthy +of the credential letters he had furnished him with to every one whom he +had thought deserving of his own acquaintance, when he was in the parts +which Mr. Beauchamp intended to visit. + +To the care of the person so much honoured by his confidence, Mr. +Grandison left his agreeable ward, Miss Jervois; requesting the +assistance of Mrs. Beaumont, who kindly promised her inspection; and with +the goodness for which she is so eminently noted, performed her promise +in his absence. + +He then made an offer to the bishop to visit Bologna once more; but that +not being accepted, he set out for Paris. + +It was not long before his Father's death called him to England; and when +he had been there a few weeks, he sent for his ward and his friend. + +But, my good Miss Byron, you will say, That I have not yet fully answered +your last inquiry, relating to the present situation of the unhappy +Clementina. + +I will briefly inform you of it. + +When it was known, for certain, that Mr. Grandison had actually left +Italy, the family at Bologna began to wish that they had permitted the +interview so much desired by the poor lady: and when they afterwards +understood that he was sent for to England, to take possession of his +paternal estate, that farther distance, (the notion likewise of the seas +between them appearing formidable,) added to their regrets. + +The poor lady was kept in travelling motion to quiet her mind: for still +an interview with Mr. Grandison having never been granted, it was her +first wish. + +They carried her to Urbino, to Rome, to Naples; then back to Florence, +then to Milan, to Turin. + +Whether they made her hope that it was to meet with Mr. Grandison, I know +not; but it is certain, she herself expected to see him at the end of +every journey; and, while she was moving, was easier, and more composed; +perhaps in that hope. + +The marchioness was sometimes of the party. The air and exercise were +thought proper for her health, as well as for that of her daughter. Her +cousin Laurana was always with her in these excursions, and sometimes +Lady Sforza; and their escort was, generally, Signors Sebastiano and +Juliano. + +But, within these four months past, these journeyings have been +discontinued. The young lady accuses them of deluding her with vain +hopes. She is impatient, and has made two attempts to escape from them. + +She is, for this reason, closely confined and watched. + +They put her once into a nunnery, at the motion of Lady Sforza, as for a +trial only. She was not uneasy in it: but this being done unknown to the +general, when he was apprised of it, he, for reasons I cannot comprehend, +was displeased, and had her taken out directly. + +Her head runs more than ever upon seeing her tutor, her friend, her +chevalier, once more. They have certainly been to blame, if they have +let her travel with such hopes; because they have thereby kept up her +ardour for an interview. Could she but once more see him, she says, and +let him know the cruelty she has been treated with, she should be +satisfied. He would pity her, she is sure, though nobody else will. + +The bishop has written to beg, that Sir Charles would pay them one more +visit at Bologna. + +I will refer to my patron himself the communicating to you, ladies, his +resolution on this subject. I had but a moment's sight of the letters +which so greatly affected him. + +It is but within these few days past that this new request has been made +to him, in a direct manner. The question was before put, If such a +request should be made, would he comply? And once Camilla wrote, as +having heard Sir Charles's presence wished for. + +Mean time the poor lady is hastening, they are afraid, into a consumptive +malady. The Count of Belvedere, however, still adores her. The disorder +in her mind being imputed chiefly to religious melancholy, and some of +her particular flights not being generally known, he, who is a pious man +himself, pities her; and declares, that he would run all risks of her +recovery, would the family give her to him: and yet he knows, that she +would choose to be the wife of the Chevalier Grandison, rather than that +of any other man, were the article of religion to be got over; and +generously applauds her for preferring her faith to her love. + +Signor Jeronymo is in a very bad way. Sir Charles often writes to him, +and with an affection worthy of the merits of that dear friend. He was +to undergo another severe operation on the next day after the letters +came from Bologna; the success of which was very doubtful. + +How nobly does Sir Charles appear to support himself under such heavy +distresses! For those of his friends were ever his. But his heart +bleeds in secret for them. A feeling heart is a blessing that no one, +who has it, would be without; and it is a moral security of innocence; +since the heart that is able to partake of the distress of another, +cannot wilfully give it. + +I think, my good Miss Byron, that I have now, as far as I am at present +able, obeyed all your commands that concern the unhappy Clementina, and +her family. I will defer, if you please, those which relate to Olivia +and Mrs. Beaumont, ladies of very different characters from each other, +having several letters to write. + +Permit me, my good ladies, and my lord, after contributing so much to +afflict your worthy hearts, to refer you, for relief under all the +distresses of life, whether they affect ourselves or others, to those +motives that can alone give true support to a rational mind. This mortal +scene, however perplexing, is a very short one; and the hour is hastening +when all the intricacies of human affairs shall be cleared up; and all +the sorrows that have had their foundation in virtue be changed into the +highest joy: when all worthy minds shall be united in the same interests, +the same happiness. + +Allow me to be, my good Miss Byron, and you, my Lord and Lady L----, and +Miss Grandison, + +Your most faithful and obedient servant, +AMBROSE BARTLETT. + + +Excellent Dr. Bartlett!--How worthy of himself is this advice! But think +you not, my Lucy, that the doctor has in it a particular view to your +poor Harriet? A generous one, meaning consolation and instruction to +her? I will endeavour to profit by it. Let me have your prayers, my +dear friends, that I may be enabled to succeed in my humble endeavours. + +It will be no wonder to us now, that Sir Charles was not solicitous to +make known a situation so embarrassing to himself, and so much involved +in clouds and uncertainty: but whatever may be the event of this affair, +you, Lucy, and all my friends, will hardly ever know me by any other name +than that of + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER V + +MISS HARRIET BYRON, TO MISS LUCY SELBY +FRIDAY, MARCH 31. + + + +You now, my dear friends, have before you this affecting story, as far as +Dr. Bartlett can give it. My cousins express a good deal of concern for +your Harriet: so does Miss Grandison: so doth my Lord and Lady L----: and +the more, as I seem to carry off the matter with assumed bravery. This +their kind concern for me looks, however, as if they thought me a +hypocrite; and I suppose, therefore, that I act my part very awkwardly. + +But, my dear, as this case is one of those few in which a woman can shew +a bravery of spirit, I think an endeavour after it is laudable; and the +rather, as in my conduct I aim at giving a tacit example to Miss Jervois. + +The doctor has whisper'd to me, that Lady Olivia is actually on her way +to England; and that the intelligence Sir Charles received of her +intention, was one of the things that disturbed him, as the news of his +beloved Signor Jeronymo's dangerous condition was another. + +Lady Anne S----, it seems, has not yet given up her hopes of Sir Charles. +The two sisters, who once favoured her above all the women they knew, +have not been able to bring themselves to acquaint a lady of her rank, +merit, and fortune, that there can be no hopes; and they are still more +loath to say, that their brother thinks himself under some obligation to +a foreign lady. Yet you know that this was always what we were afraid +of: but, who, now, will say afraid, that knows the merit of Clementina? + +I wish, methinks, that this man were proud, vain, arrogant, and a +boaster. How easily then might one throw off one's shackles! + +Lord G---- is very diligent in his court to Miss Grandison. His father +and aunt are to visit her this afternoon. She behaves whimsically to my +lord: yet I cannot think that she greatly dislikes him. + +The Earl of D---- and the Countess Dowager are both in town. The +Countess made a visit to my cousin Reeves last Tuesday: she spoke of me +very kindly: she says that my lord has heard so much of me, that he is +very desirous of seeing me: but she was pleased to say, that, since my +heart was not disengaged, she should be afraid of the consequences of his +visit to himself. + +My grandmamma, though she was so kindly fond of me, would not suffer me +to live with her; because she thought, that her contemplative temper +might influence mine, and make me grave, at a time of life, when she is +always saying, that cheerfulness is most becoming: she would therefore +turn over her girl to the best of aunts. But now I fancy, she will allow +me to be more than two days in a week her attendant. My uncle Selby will +be glad to spare me. I shall not be able to bear a jest: and then, what +shall I be good for? + +I have made a fine hand of coming to town, he says: and so I have: but if +my heart is not quite so easy as it was, it is, I hope, a better, at +least not a worse heart than I brought up with me. Could I only have +admired this man, my excursion would not have been unhappy. But this +gratitude, this entangling, with all its painful consequence--But let me +say, with my grandmamma, the man is Sir Charles Grandison! The very man +by whose virtues a Clementina was attracted. Upon my word, my dear, +unhappy as she is, I rank her with the first of women. + +I have not had a great deal of Sir Charles Grandison's company; but yet +more, I am afraid, than I shall ever have again. Very true--O heart! the +most wayward of hearts, sigh if thou wilt! + +You have seen how little he was with us, when we were absolutely in his +reach, and when he, as we thought, was in ours. But such a man cannot, +ought not to be engrossed by one family. Bless me, Lucy, when he comes +into public life, (for has not his country a superior claim to him beyond +every private one?) what moment can he have at liberty? Let me enumerate +some of his present engagements that we know of. + +The Danby family must have some farther portion of his time. + +The executorship in the disposal of the 3000£. in charity, in France as +well as in England, will take up a good deal more. + +My Lord W---- may be said to be under his tutelage, as to the future +happiness of his life. + +Miss Jervois's affairs, and the care he has for her person, engage much +of his attention. + +He is his own steward. + +He is making alterations at Grandison-hall; and has a large genteel +neighbourhood there, who long to have him reside among them; and he +himself is fond of that seat. + +His estate in Ireland is in a prosperous way, from the works he set on +foot there, when he was on the spot; and he talks, as Dr. Bartlett has +hinted to us, of making another visit to it. + +His sister's match with Lord G---- is one of his cares. + +He has services to perform for his friend Beauchamp, with his father and +mother-in-law, for the facilitating his coming over. + +The apprehended visit of Olivia gives him disturbance. + +And the Bologna family in its various branches, and more especially +Signor Jeronymo's dangerous state of health, and Signora Clementina's +disordered mind--O, Lucy!--What leisure has this man to be in love?--Yet +how can I say so, when he is in love already? And with Clementina.--And +don't you think, that when he goes to France on the executorship account, +he will make a visit to Bologna?--Ah, my dear, to be sure he will. + +After he has left England, therefore, which I suppose he will quickly do, +and when I am in Northamptonshire, what opportunities will your Harriet +have to see him, except she can obtain, as a favour, the power of +obliging his Emily, in her request to be with her? Then, Lucy, he may, +on his return to England, once a year or so, on his visiting his ward, +see, and thank for her care and love of his Emily, his half-estranged +Harriet!--Perhaps Lady Clementina Grandison will be with him! God +restore her! Surely I shall be capable, if she be Lady Grandison, of +rejoicing in her recovery!---- + +Fie upon it!--Why this involuntary tear? You would see it by the large +blot it has made, if I did not mention it. + +Excellent man!--Dr. Bartlett has just been telling me of a morning visit +he received, before he went out of town, from the two sons of Mrs. +Oldham. + +One of them is about seven years old; the other about five; very fine +children. He embraced them, the doctor says, with as much tenderness, as +if they were children of his own mother. He enquired into their +inclinations, behaviour, diversions; and engaged equally their love and +reverence. + +He told them, that, if they were good, he would love them; and said, he +had a dear friend, whom he reverenced as his father, a man with white +curling locks, he told the children, that they might know him at first +sight, who would now-and-then, as he happened to be in town, make +enquiries after their good behaviour, and reward them, as they gave him +cause. Accordingly he had desired Dr. Bartlett to give them occasionally +his countenance; as also to let their mother know, that he should be glad +of a visit from her, and her three children, on his return to town. + +The doctor had been to see her when he came to me. He found all three +with her. The two younger, impressed by the venerable description Sir +Charles had given of him, voluntarily, the younger, by the elder's +example, fell down on their knees before him, and begged his blessing. + +Mr. Oldham is about eighteen years of age; a well-inclined, well-educated +youth. He was full of acknowledgments of the favour done him in this +invitation. + +The grateful mother could not contain herself. Blessings without number, +she invoked on her benefactor, for his goodness in taking such kind +notice of her two sons, as he had done; and said, he had been, ever since +his gracious behaviour to her in Essex, the first and last in her prayers +to Heaven. But the invitation to herself, she declared, was too great an +honour for her to accept of: she should not be able to stand in his +presence. Alas! sir, said she, can the severest, truest penitence recall +the guilty past? + +The doctor said, that Sir Charles Grandison ever made it a rule with him, +to raise the dejected and humbled spirit. Your birth and education, +madam, entitle you to a place in the first company: and where there are +two lights in which the behaviour of any person may be set, though there +has been unhappiness, he always remembers the most favourable, and +forgets the other. I would advise you, madam, (as he has invited you,) +by all means to come. He speaks with pleasure of your humility and good +sense. + +The doctor told me, that Sir Charles had made inquiries after the +marriage of Major O'Hara with Mrs. Jervois, and had satisfied himself +that they were actually man and wife. Methinks I am glad for Miss +Jervois's sake, that her mother has changed her name. They lived not +happily together since their last enterprise: for the man, who had long +been a sufferer from poverty, was in fear of losing one half at least of +his wife's annuity, by what passed on that occasion; and accused her of +putting him upon the misbehaviour he was guilty of; which had brought +upon him, he said, the resentments of a man admired by all the world. + +The attorney, who visited Sir Charles from these people, at their +request, waited on him again, in their names, with hopes that they should +not suffer in their annuity, and expressing their concern for having +offended him. + +Mrs. O'Hara also requested it as a favour to see her daughter. + +Sir Charles commissioned the attorney, who is a man of repute, to tell +them, that if Mrs. O'Hara would come to St. James's-square next Wednesday +about five o'clock, Miss Jervois should be introduced to her; and she +should be welcome to bring with her her husband, and Captain Salmonet, +that they might be convinced he bore no ill-will to either of them. + +Adieu, till by and by. Miss Grandison is come, in one of her usual +hurries, to oblige me to be present at the visit to be made her this +afternoon, by the Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude, his sister, a maiden +lady advanced in years, who is exceedingly fond of her nephew, and +intends to make him heir of her large fortune. + + +*** + + +FRIDAY NIGHT. + +The earl is an agreeable man: Lady Gertrude is a very agreeable woman. +They saw Miss Grandison with the young lord's eyes; and were better +pleased with her, as I told her afterwards, than I should have been, or +than they would, had they known her as well as I do. She doubted not, +she answered me, but I should find fault with her; and yet she was as +good as for her life she could be. + +Such an archness in every motion! Such a turn of the eye to me on my +Lord G----'s assiduities! Such a fear in him of her correcting glance! +Such a half-timid, half-free parade when he had done any thing that he +intended to be obliging, and now and then an aiming at raillery, as if he +was not very much afraid of her, and dared to speak his mind even to her! +On her part, on those occasions, such an air, as if she had a learner +before her; and was ready to rap his knuckles, had nobody been present to +mediate for him; that though I could not but love her for her very +archness, yet in my mind, I could, for their sakes, but more for her own, +have severely chidden her. + +She is a charming woman; and every thing she says and does becomes her. +But I am so much afraid of what may be the case, when the lover is +changed into the husband, that I wish to myself now and then, when I see +her so lively, that she would remember that there was once such a man as +Captain Anderson. But she makes it a rule, she says, to remember nothing +that will vex her. + +Is not my memory (said she once) given me for my benefit, and shall I +make it my torment? No, Harriet, I will leave that to be done by you +wise ones, and see what you will get by it. + +Why this, Charlotte, replied I, the wise ones may have a chance to get by +it--They will, very probably, by remembering past mistakes, avoid many +inconveniencies into which forgetfulness will run you lively ones. + +Well, well, returned she, we are not all of us born to equal honour. +Some of us are to be set up for warnings, some for examples: and the +first are generally of greater use to the world than the other. + +Now, Charlotte, said I, do you destroy the force of your own argument. +Can the person who is singled out for the warning, be near so happy, as +she that is set up for the example? + +You are right as far as I know, Harriet: but I obey the present impulse, +and try to find an excuse afterwards for what that puts me upon: and all +the difference is this, as to the reward, I have a joy: you a comfort: +but comfort is a poor word; and I can't bear it. + +So Biddy, in 'The Tender Husband,' would have said, Charlotte. But poor +as the word is with you and her, give me comfort rather than joy, if they +must be separated. But I see not but that a woman of my Charlotte's +happy turn may have both. + +She tapped my cheek--Take that, Harriet, for making a Biddy of me. I +believe, if you have not joy, you have comfort, in your severity. + +My heart as well as my cheek glowed at the praises the earl and the lady +both joined in (with a fervor that was creditable to their own hearts) of +Sir Charles Grandison, while they told us what this man, and that woman +of quality or consideration said of him. Who would not be good? What is +life without reputation? Do we not wish to be remembered with honour +after death? And what a share of it has this excellent man in his life! +--May nothing, for the honour-sake of human nature, to which he is so +great an ornament, ever happen to tarnish it! + +They made me a hundred fine compliments. I could not but be pleased at +standing well in their opinion: but, believe me, my dear, I did not enjoy +their praises of me, as I did those they gave him. Indeed, I had the +presumption, from the approbation given to what they said of him by my +own heart, to imagine myself a sharer in them, though not in his merits. +Oh, Lucy! ought there not to have been a relation between us, since what +I have said, from what I found in myself on hearing him praised, is a +demonstration of a regard for him superior to the love of self? + +Adieu, my Lucy. I know I have all your prayers. + +Adieu, my dear! + + + +LETTER VI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SATURDAY, APRIL 1. + + +Dr. Bartlett is one of the kindest as well as best of men. I believe he +loves me as if I were his own child: but good men must be affectionate +men. He received but this morning a letter from Sir Charles, and +hastened to communicate some of its contents to me, though I could +pretend to no other motive but curiosity for wishing to be acquainted +with the proceedings of his patron. + +Sir Charles dined, as he had intended, with Sir Hargrave and his friends. +He complains in his letter of a riotous day: yet I think, adds he, it has +led me into some useful reflections. It is not indeed agreeable to be +the spectator of riot; but how easy to shun being a partaker in it! Ho +easy to avoid the too freely circling glass, if a man is known to have +established a rule to himself, from which he will not depart; and if it +be not refused sullenly; but mirth and good humour the more studiously +kept up, by the person; who would else indeed be looked upon as a spy on +unguarded folly! I heartily pitied a young man, who, I dare say, has a +good heart, but from false shame durst not assert the freedom that every +Englishman would claim a right to, in almost every other instance! He +had once put by the glass, and excused himself on account of his health; +but on being laughed at for a sober dog, as they phrased it, and asked, +if his spouse had not lectured him before he came out, he gave way to the +wretched raillery: nor could I interfere at such a noisy moment with +effect: they had laughed him out of his caution before I could be heard; +and I left him there at nine o'clock trying with Bagenhall which should +drink the deepest. + +I wish, my good Dr. Bartlett, you would throw together some serious +considerations on this subject. You could touch it delicately, and such +a discourse would not be unuseful to some few of our neighbours even at +Grandison-hall. What is it, that, in this single article, men sacrifice +to false shame and false glory! Reason, health, fortune, personal +elegance, the peace and order of their families; and all the comfort and +honour of their after-years. How peevish, how wretched, is the decline +of a man worn out with intemperance! In a cool hour, resolutions might +be formed, that should stand the attack of a boisterous jest. + +I obtained leave from Dr. Bartlett, to transcribe this part of the +letter. I thought my uncle would be pleased with it. + + +It was near ten at night, before Sir Charles got to Lord W----'s, though +but three miles from Sir Hargrave's. My lord rejoiced to see him; and, +after first compliments, asked him, if he had thought of what he had +undertaken for him. Sir Charles told him, that he was the more desirous +of seeing him in his way to the Hall, because he wanted to know if his +lordship held his mind as to marriage. He assured him he did, and would +sign and seal to whatever he should stipulate for him. + +I wished for a copy of this part of Sir Charles's letter, for the sake of +my aunt, whose delicacy would, I thought, be charmed with it. He has +been so good as to say, he would transcribe it for me. I will enclose +it, Lucy; and you will read it here: + + +I cannot, my lord, said Sir Charles, engage, that the lady will comply +with the proposal I shall take the liberty to make to her mother and her. +She is not more than three or four and thirty: she is handsome: she has a +fine understanding: she is brought up an economist: she is a woman of +good family: she has not, however, though born to happier prospects, a +fortune worthy of your lordship's acceptance. Whatever that is, you +will, perhaps, choose to give it to her family. + +With all my heart and soul, nephew: but do you say, she is handsome? Do +you say, she is of family? And has she so many good qualities?--Ah, +nephew! She won't have me, I doubt.--And is she not too young, Sir +Charles, to think of such a poor decrepit soul as I am? + +All I can say to this, my lord, is, that the proposals on your part must +be the more generous-- + +I will leave all those matters to you, kinsman-- + +This, my lord, I will take upon me to answer for, that she is a woman of +principle: she will not give your lordship her hand, if she thinks she +cannot make you a wife worthy of your utmost kindness: and now, my lord, +I will tell you who she is, that you may make what other inquiries you +think proper. + +And then I named her to him, and gave him pretty near the account of the +family, and the circumstances and affairs of it, that I shall by and by +give you; though you are not quite a stranger to the unhappy case. + +My lord was in raptures: he knew something, he said, of the lady's +father, and enough of the family, by hearsay, to confirm all I had said +of them; and besought me to do my utmost to bring the affair to a speedy +conclusion. + +Sir Thomas Mansfield was a very good man; and much respected in his +neighbourhood. He was once possessed of a large estate; but his father +left him involved in a law-suit to support his title to more than one +half of it. + +After it had been depending several years, it was at last, to the deep +regret of all who knew him, by the chicanery of the lawyers of the +opposite side, and the remissness of his own, carried against him; and +his expenses having been very great in supporting for years his +possession, he found himself reduced from an estate of near three +thousand pounds a year, to little more than five hundred. He had six +children: four sons, and two daughters. His eldest son died of grief in +two months after the loss of the cause. The second, now the eldest, is a +melancholy man. The third is a cornet of horse. The fourth is +unprovided for; but all three are men of worthy minds, and deserve better +fortune. + +The daughters are remarkable for their piety, patience, good economy, and +prudence. They are the most dutiful of children, and most affectionate +of sisters. They were for three years the support of their father's +spirits, and have always been the consolation of their mother. They lost +their father about four years ago: and it is even edifying to observe, +how elegantly they support the family reputation in their fine old +mansion-house by the prudent management of their little income; for the +mother leaves every household care to them; and they make it a rule to +conclude the year with discharging every demand that can be made upon +them, and to commence the new year absolutely clear of the world, and +with some cash in hand; yet were brought up in affluence, and to the +expectation of handsome fortunes; for, besides that they could have no +thought of losing their cause, they had very great and reasonable +prospects from Mr. Calvert, an uncle by their mother's side; who was rich +in money, and had besides an estate in land of 1500£. a year. He always +declared, that, for the sake of his sister's children, he would continue +a single man; and kept his word till he was upwards of seventy; when, +being very infirm in health, and defective even to dotage in his +understanding, Bolton, his steward, who had always stood in the way of +his inclination to have his eldest niece for his companion and manager, +at last contrived to get him married to a young creature under twenty, +one of the servants in the house; who brought him a child in seven +months; and was with child again at the old man's death, which happened +in eighteen months after his marriage: and then a will was provided, in +which he gave all he had to his wife and her children born, and to be +born, within a year after his demise. This steward and woman now live +together as man and wife. + +A worthy clergyman, who hoped it might be in my power to procure them +redress, either in the one case or in the other, gave me the above +particulars; and upon inquiry, finding every thing to be as represented, +I made myself acquainted with the widow lady and her sons: and it was +impossible to see them at their own house, and not respect the daughters +for their amiable qualities. + +I desired them, when I was last down, to put into my hands their titles, +deeds, and papers; which they have done; and they have been laid before +counsel, who give a very hopeful account of them. + +Being fully authorized by my lord, I took leave of him over-night, and +set out early in the morning, directly for Mansfield-house. I arrived +there soon after their breakfast was over, and was received by Lady +Mansfield, her sons, (who happened to be all at home,) and her two +daughters, with politeness. + +After some general conversation, I took Lady Mansfield aside; and making +an apology for my freedom, asked her, If Miss Mansfield were, to her +knowledge, engaged in her affections? + +She answered, she was sure she was not: Ah, sir, said she, a man of your +observation must know, that the daughters of a decayed family of some +note in the world, do not easily get husbands. Men of great fortunes +look higher: men of small must look out for wives to enlarge them; and +men of genteel businesses are afraid of young women better born than +portioned. Every body knows not that my girls can bend to their +condition; and they must be contented to live single all their lives; and +so they will choose to do, rather than not marry creditably, and with +some prospect. + +I then opened my mind fully to her. She was agreeably surprised: but +who, sir, said she, would expect such a proposal from the next heir to +Lord W----? + +I made known to her how much in earnest I was in this proposal, as well +for my lord's sake, as for the young lady's. I will take care, madam, +said I, that Miss Mansfield, if she will consent to make Lord W---- +happy, shall have very handsome settlements, and such an allowance for +pin-money, as shall enable her to gratify every moderate, every +reasonable, wish of her heart. + +Was it possible, she asked, for such an affair to be brought about? +Would my lord--There she stopt. + +I said, I would be answerable for him: and desired her to break the +matter to her daughter directly. + +I left Lady Mansfield, and joined the brothers, who were with their two +sisters; and soon after Miss Mansfield was sent for by her mother. + +After they had been a little while together, my Lady Mansfield sent to +speak with me. They were both silent when I came in. The mother was at +a loss what to say: the daughter was in still greater confusion. + +I addressed myself to the mother. You have, I perceive, madam, +acquainted Miss Mansfield with the proposal I made to you. I am fully +authorized to make it. Propitious be your silence! There never was, +proceeded I, a treaty of marriage set on foot, that had not its +conveniencies and inconveniencies. My lord is greatly afflicted with the +gout: there is too great a disparity in years. These are the +inconveniencies which are to be considered of for the lady. + +On the other hand, if Miss Mansfield can give into the proposal, she will +be received by my lord as a blessing; as one whose acceptance of him will +lay him under an obligation to her. If this proposal could not have been +made with dignity and honour to the lady, it had not come from me. + +The conveniencies to yourselves will more properly fall under the +consideration of yourselves and family. One thing only I will suggest, +that an alliance with so rich a man as Lord W----, will make, perhaps, +some people tremble, who now think themselves secure. + +But, madam, to the still silent daughter, let not a regard for me bias +you: your family may be sure of my best services, whether my proposal be +received or rejected. + +My lord (I must deal sincerely with you) has lived a life of error. He +thinks so himself. I am earnest to have him see the difference, and to +have an opportunity to rejoice with him upon it. + +I stopt: but both being still silent, the mother looking on the daughter, +the daughter glancing now and then her conscious eye on the mother, If, +madam, said I, you can give your hand to Lord W----, I will take care, +that settlements shall exceed your expectation. What I have observed as +well as heard of Miss Mansfield's temper and goodness, is the principal +motive of my application to her, in preference to all the women I know. + +But permit me to say, that were your affections engaged to the lowest +honest man on earth, I would not wish for your favour to my Lord W----. +And, further, if, madam, you think you should have but the shadow of a +hope, to induce your compliance, that my Lord's death would be more +agreeable to you than his life, then would I not, for your morality's +sake, wish you to engage. In a word, I address myself to you, Miss +Mansfield, as to a woman of honour and conscience: if your conscience +bids you doubt, reject the proposal; and this not only for my lord's +sake, but for your own. + +Consider, if, without too great a force upon your inclinations, you can +behave with that condescension and indulgence to a man who has hastened +advanced age upon himself, which I have thought from your temper I might +hope. + +I have said a great deal, because you, ladies, were silent; and because +explicitness in every case becomes the proposer. Give me leave to +withdraw for a few moments. + +I withdrew, accordingly, to the brothers and sister. I did not think I +ought to mention to them the proposal I had made: it might perhaps have +engaged them all in its favour, as it was of such evident advantage to +the whole family; and that might have imposed a difficulty on the lady, +that neither for her own sake, nor my lord's, it would have been just to +lay upon her. + +Lady Mansfield came out to me, and said, I presume, sir, as we are a +family which misfortune as well as love, has closely bound together, you +will allow it to be mentioned-- + +To the whole family, madam!--By all means. I wanted only first to know, +whether Miss Mansfield's affections were disengaged: and now you shall +give me leave to attend Miss Mansfield. I am a party for my Lord W----: +Miss Mansfield is a party: your debates will be the more free in our +absence. If I find her averse, believe me, madam, I will not endeavour +to persuade her. On the contrary, if she declare against accepting the +proposal, I will be her advocate, though every one else should vote in +its favour. + +The brothers and sister looked upon one another: I left the mother to +propose it to them; and stept into the inner parlour to Miss Mansfield. + +She was sitting with her back to the door, in a meditating posture. She +started at my entrance. + +I talked of indifferent subjects, in order to divert her from the +important one, that had taken up her whole attention. + +It would have been a degree of oppression to her to have entered with her +upon a subject of so much consequence to her while we were alone; and +when her not having given a negative, was to be taken as a modest +affirmative. + +Lady Mansfield soon joined us--My dear daughter, said she, we are all +unanimous. We have agreed to leave every thing to Sir Charles Grandison: +and we hope you will. + +She was silent. I will only ask you, madam, said I, to her, if you have +any wish to take time to consider of the matter? Do you think you shall +be easier in your mind, if you take time?--She was silent. + +I will not at this time, my good Miss Mansfield, urge you further. I +will make my report to Lord W----, and you shall be sure of his joyful +approbation of the steps I have taken, before your final consent shall be +asked for. But that I may not be employed in a doubtful cause, let me be +commissioned to tell my lord, that you are disengaged; and that you +wholly resign yourself to your mother's advice. + +She bowed her head. + +And that you, madam, to Lady Mansfield, are not averse to enter into +treaty upon this important subject. + +Averse, sir! said the mother, bowing, and gratefully smiling. + +I will write the particulars of our conversation to Lord W----, and my +opinion of settlements, and advise him (if I am not forbid) to make a +visit at Mansfield House. [I stopt: they were both silent.] If +possible, I will attend my lord in his first visit. I hope, madam, to +Miss Mansfield, you will not dislike him; I am sure he will be charmed +with you: he is far from being disagreeable in his person: his temper is +not bad. Your goodness will make him good. I dare say that he will +engage your gratitude; and I defy a good mind to separate love from +gratitude. + +We returned to company. I had all their blessings pronounced at once, as +from one mouth. The melancholy brother was enlivened: who knows but the +consequence of this alliance may illuminate his mind? I could see by the +pleasure they all had, in beholding him capable of joy on the occasion, +that they hoped it would. The unhappy situation of the family affairs, +as it broke the heart of the eldest brother, fixed a gloom on the temper +of this gentleman. + +I was prevailed upon to dine with them. In the conversation we had at +and after dinner, their minds opened, and their characters rose upon me. +Lord W---- will be charmed with Miss Mansfield. I am delighted to think, +that my mother's brother will be happy, in the latter part of his life, +with a wife of so much prudence and goodness, as I am sure this lady will +make him. On one instance of her very obliging behaviour to me, I +whispered her sister, Pray, Miss Fanny, tell Miss Mansfield, but not till +I am gone, that she knows not the inconveniencies she is bringing upon +herself: I may, perhaps, hereafter, have the boldness, to look for the +same favour from my aunt, that I meet with from Miss Mansfield. + +If my sister, returned she, should ever misbehave to her benefactor, I +will deny my relation to her. + + +You will soon have another letter from me, with an account of the success +of my visit to Sir Harry Beauchamp and his lady. We must have our +Beauchamp among us, my dear friend: I should rather say, you must among +you; for I shall not be long in England. He will supply to you, my dear +Dr. Bartlett, the absence (it will not, I hope, be a long one) of your + +CHARLES GRANDISON. + + +Sir Charles, I remember, as the doctor read, mentions getting leave for +his Beauchamp to come over, who, he says, will supply his absence to him +--But, ah, Lucy! Who, let me have the boldness to ask, shall supply it +to your Harriet? Time, my dear, will do nothing for me, except I could +hear something very much amiss of this man. + +I have a great suspicion, that the first part of the letter enclosed was +about me. The doctor looked so earnestly at me, when he skipt two sides +of it; and, as I thought, with so much compassion!--To be sure, it was +about me. + +What would I give to know as much of his mind as Dr. Bartlett knows! If +I thought he pitied the poor Harriet--I should scorn myself. I am, I +will be, above his pity, Lucy. In this believe your + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER VII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SUNDAY NIGHT, APRIL 2. + + +Dr. Bartlett has received from Sir Charles an account of what passed last +Friday between him and Sir Harry and Lady Beauchamp. By the doctor's +allowance, I enclose it to you. + +In this letter, Lucy, you will see him in a new light; and as a man whom +there is no resisting, when he resolves to carry a point. But it +absolutely convinces me, of what indeed I before suspected, that he has +not an high opinion of our sex in general: and this I will put down as a +blot in his character. He treats us, in Lady Beauchamp, as perverse +humoursome babies, loving power, yet not knowing how to use it. See him +so delicate in his behaviour and address to Miss Mansfield, and carry in +your thoughts his gaiety and adroit management to Lady Beauchamp, as in +this letter, and you will hardly think him the same man. Could he be +any thing to me, I should be more than half afraid of him: yet this may +be said in his behalf;--He but accommodates himself to the persons he has +to deal with:--He can be a man of gay wit, when he pleases to descend, as +indeed his sister Charlotte has as often found, as she has given occasion +for the exercise of that talent in him:--Yet, that virtue, for its own +sake, is his choice; since, had he been a free liver, he would have been +a dangerous man. + +But I will not anticipate too much: read it here, if you please. + + + +LETTER VIII + +SIR CHARLES GRANDISON, TO DR. BARTLETT +[ENCLOSED IN THE PRECEDING.] +GRANDISON HALL, FRIDAY NIGHT, MARCH 31. + + +I arrived at Sir Harry Beauchamp's about twelve this day. He and his +lady expected me, from the letter which I wrote and shewed you before I +left the town; in which, you know, I acquainted Sir Harry with his son's +earnest desire to throw himself at his feet, and to pay his duty to his +mother, in England; and engaged to call myself, either this day or +to-morrow, for an answer. + +Sir Harry received me with great civility, and even affection. Lady +Beauchamp, said he, will be with us in a moment. I am afraid you will +not meet with all the civility from her on the errand you are come upon, +that a man of Sir Charles Grandison's character deserves to meet with +from all the world. We have been unhappy together, ever since we had +your letter. I long to see my son: your friendship for him establishes +him in my heart. But--And then he cursed the apron-string tenure, by +which, he said, he held his peace. + +You will allow me, Sir Harry, said I, to address myself in my own way to +my lady. You give me pleasure, in letting me know, that the difficulty +is not with you. You have indeed, sir, one of the most prudent young men +in the world for your son. His heart is in your hand: you may form it as +you please. + +She is coming! She is coming! interrupted he. We are all in pieces: we +were in the midst of a feud, when you arrived. If she is not civil to +you-- + +In swam the lady; her complexion raised; displeasure in her looks to me, +and indignation in her air to Sir Harry; as if they had not had their +contention out, and she was ready to renew it. + +With as obliging an air as I could assume, I paid my compliments to her. +She received them with great stiffness; swelling at Sir Harry: who sidled +to the door, in a moody and sullen manner, and then slipt out. + +You are Sir Charles Grandison, I suppose, sir, said she; I never saw you +before: I have heard much talk of you.--But, pray, sir, are good men +always officious men? Cannot they perform the obligations of friendship, +without discomposing families? + +You see me now, madam, in an evil moment, if you are displeased with me: +but I am not used to the displeasure of ladies: I do my utmost not to +deserve it; and, let me tell you, madam, that I will not suffer you to be +displeased with me. + +I took her half-reluctant hand, and led her to a chair, and seated myself +in another near her. + +I see, sir, you have your arts. + +She took the fire-screen, that hung by the side of the chimney, and held +it before her face, now glancing at me, now turning away her eye, as if +resolved to be displeased. + +You come upon a hateful errand, sir: I have been unhappy ever since your +officious letter came. + +I am sorry for it, madam. While you are warm with the remembrance of a +past misunderstanding, I will not offer to reason with you: but let me, +madam, see less discomposure in your looks. I want to take my +impressions of you from more placid features: I am a painter, madam: I +love to draw lady's pictures. Will you have this pass for a first +sitting? + +She knew not what to do with her anger: she was loath to part with it. + +You are impertinent, Sir Charles--Excuse me--You are impertinent. + +I do excuse you, Lady Beauchamp: and the rather, as I am sure you do not +think me so. Your freedom is a mark of your favour; and I thank you for +it. + +You treat me as a child, sir-- + +I treat all angry people as children: I love to humour them. Indeed, +Lady Beauchamp, you must not be angry with me. Can I be mistaken? Don't +I see in your aspect the woman of sense and reason?--I never blame a lady +for her humoursomeness, so much as, in my mind, I blame her mother. + +Sir! said she. I smiled. She bit her lip, to avoid returning a smile. + +Her character, my dear friend, is not, you know, that of an ill-tempered +woman, though haughty, and a lover of power. + +I have heard much of you, Sir Charles Grandison: but I am quite mistaken +in you: I expected to see a grave formal young man, his prim mouth set in +plaits: But you are a joker; and a free man; a very free man, I do assure +you. + +I would be thought decently free, madam; but not impertinent. I see with +pleasure a returning smile. O that ladies knew how much smiles become +their features!--Very few causes can justify a woman's anger--Your sex, +madam, was given to delight, not to torment us. + +Torment you, sir!--Pray, has Sir Harry-- + +Sir Harry cannot look pleased, when his lady is dis-pleased: I saw that +you were, madam, the moment I beheld you. I hope I am not an unwelcome +visitor to Sir Harry for one hour, (I intend to stay no longer,) that he +received me with so disturbed a countenance, and has now withdrawn +himself, as if to avoid me. + +To tell you the truth, Sir Harry and I have had a dispute: but he always +speaks of Sir Charles Grandison with pleasure. + +Is he not offended with me, madam, for the contents of the letter-- + +No, sir, and I suppose you hardly think he is--But I am-- + +Dear madam, let me beg your interest in favour of the contents of it. + +She took fire--rose up-- + +I besought her patience--Why should you wish to keep abroad a young man, +who is a credit to his family, and who ought to be, if he is not, the joy +of his father? Let him owe to your generosity, madam, that recall, which +he solicits: it will become your character: he cannot be always kept +abroad: be it your own generous work-- + +What, sir--Pray, sir--With an angry brow--- + +You must not be angry with me, madam--(I took her hand)--You can't be +angry in earnest-- + +Sir Charles Grandison--You are--She withdrew her hand; You are, repeated +she--and seemed ready to call names-- + +I am the Grandison you call me; and I honour the maternal character. You +must permit me to honour you, madam. + +I wonder, sir-- + +I will not be denied. The world reports misunderstandings between you +and Mr. Beauchamp. That busy world that will be meddling, knows your +power, and his dependence. You must not let it charge you with an ill +use of that power: if you do, you will have its blame, when you might +have its praise: he will have its pity. + +What, sir, do you think your fine letters, and smooth words, will avail +in favour of a young fellow who has treated me with disrespect? + +You are misinformed, madam.--I am willing to have a greater dependence +upon your justice, upon your good-nature, than upon any thing I can urge +either by letter or speech. Don't let it be said, that you are not to be +prevailed on--A woman not to be prevailed on to join in an act of +justice, of kindness; for the honour of the sex, let it not be said. + +Honour of the sex, sir!--Fine talking!--Don't I know, that were I to +consent to his coming over, the first thing would be to have his annuity +augmented out of my fortune? He and his father would be in a party +against me. Am I not already a sufferer through him in his father's +love?--You don't know, sir, what has passed between Sir Harry and me +within this half-hour--But don't talk to me: I won't hear of it: the +young man hates me: I hate him; and ever will. + +She made a motion to go. + +With a respectful air, I told her, she must not leave me. My motive +deserved not, I said, that both she and Sir Harry should leave me in +displeasure. + +You know but too well, resumed she, how acceptable your officiousness (I +must call it so) is to Sir Harry. + +And does Sir Harry, madam, favour his son's suit? You rejoice me: let +not Mr. Beauchamp know that he does: and do you, my dear Lady Beauchamp, +take the whole merit of it to yourself. How will he revere you for your +goodness to him! And what an obligation, if, as you say, Sir Harry is +inclined to favour him, will you, by your generous first motion, lay upon +Sir Harry! + +Obligation upon Sir Harry! Yes, Sir Charles Grandison, I have laid too +many obligations already upon him, for his gratitude. + +Lay this one more. You own you have had a misunderstanding this morning: +Sir Harry is withdrawn, I suppose, with his heart full: let me, I beseech +you, make up the misunderstanding. I have been happy in this way--Thus +we will order it--We will desire him to walk in. I will beg your +interest with him in favour of the contents of the letter I sent. His +compliance will follow as an act of obligingness to you. The grace of +the action will be yours. I will be answerable for Mr. Beauchamp's +gratitude.--Dear madam, hesitate not. The young gentleman must come over +one day: let the favour of its being an early one, be owing entirely to +you. + +You are a strange man, sir: I don't like you at all: you would persuade +me out of my reason. + +Let us, madam, as Mr. Beauchamp and I are already the dearest of friends, +begin a family understanding. Let St. James's-square, and +Berkley-square, when you come to town, be a next-door neighbourhood. +Give me the consideration of being the bondsman for the duty of Mr. +Beauchamp to you, as well as to his father. + +She was silent: but looked vexed and irresolute. + +My sisters, madam, are amiable women. You will be pleased with them. +Lord L---- is a man worthy of Sir Harry's acquaintance. We shall want +nothing, if you would think so, but Mr. Beauchamp's presence among us. + +What! I suppose you design your maiden sister for the young fellow--But +if you do, sir, you must ask me for--There she stopt. + +Indeed I do not. He is not at present disposed to marry. He never will +without his father's approbation, and let me say--yours. My sister is +addressed to by Lord G----, and I hope will soon be married to him. + +And do you say so, Sir Charles Grandison?--Why then you are a more +disinterested man, than I thought you in this application to Sir Harry. +I had no doubt but the young fellow was to be brought over to marry Miss +Grandison; and that he was to be made worthy of her at my expense. + +She enjoyed, as it seemed, by her manner of pronouncing the words young +fellow, that designed contempt, which was a tacit confession of the +consequence he once was of to her. + +I do assure you, madam, that I know not his heart, if he has at present +any thoughts of marriage. + +She seemed pleased at this assurance. + +I repeated my wishes, that she would take to herself the merit of +allowing Mr. Beauchamp to return to his native country: and that she +would let me see her hand in Sir Harry's, before I left them. + +And pray, sir, as to his place of residence, were he to come: do you +think he should live under the same roof with me? + +You shall govern that point, madam, as you approve or disapprove of his +behaviour to you. + +His behaviour to me, sir!--One house cannot, shall not, hold him and me. + +I think, madam, that you should direct in this article. I hope, after a +little while, so to order my affairs, as constantly to reside in England. +I should think myself very happy if I could prevail upon Mr. Beauchamp to +live with me. + +But I must see him, I suppose? + +Not, madam, unless you shall think it right, for the sake of the world's +opinion, that you should. + +I can't consent-- + +You can, madam! You do!--I cannot allow Lady Beauchamp to be one of +those women, who having insisted upon a wrong point, can be convinced, +yet not know how to recede with a grace.--Be so kind to yourself, as to +let Sir Harry know, that you think it right for Mr. Beauchamp to return; +but that it must be upon your own conditions: then, madam, make those +conditions generous ones; and how will Sir Harry adore you! How will Mr. +Beauchamp revere you! How shall I esteem you! + +What a strange impertinent have I before me! + +I love to be called names by a lady. If undeservedly, she lays herself +by them under obligation to me, which she cannot be generous if she +resolves not to repay. Shall I endeavour to find out Sir Harry? Or will +you, madam? + +Was you ever, Sir Charles Grandison, denied by any woman to whom you sued +for favour? + +I think, madam, I hardly ever was: but it was because I never sued for a +favour, that it was not for a lady's honour to grant. This is the case +now; and this makes me determine, that I will not be denied the grant of +my present request. Come, come, madam! How can a woman of your +ladyship's good sense (taking her hand, and leading her to the door) seem +to want to be persuaded to do a thing she knows in her heart to be right! +Let us find Sir Harry. + +Strange man!--Unhand me--He has used me unkindly-- + +Overcome him then by your generosity. But, dear Lady Beauchamp, taking +both her hands, and smiling confidently in her face, [I could, my dear +Dr. Bartlett, do so to Lady Beauchamp,] will you make me believe, that a +woman of your spirit (you have a charming spirit, Lady Beauchamp) did not +give Sir Harry as much reason to complain, as he gave you?--I am sure by +his disturbed countenance-- + +Now, Sir Charles Grandison, you are downright affronting. Unhand me! + +This misunderstanding is owing to my officious letter. I should have +waited on you in person. I should from the first have put it in your +power, to do a graceful and obliging thing. I ask your pardon. I am not +used to make differences between man and wife. + +I touched first one hand, then the other, of the perverse baby with my +lips--Now am I forgiven: now is my friend Beauchamp permitted to return +to his native country: now are Sir Harry and his Lady reconciled--Come, +come, madam, it must be so--What foolish things are the quarrels of +married people!--They must come to an agreement again; and the sooner the +better; before hard blows are struck, that will leave marks--Let us, dear +madam, find out Sir Harry-- + +And then, with an air of vivacity, that women, whether in courtship or +out of it, dislike not, I was leading her once more to the door, and, as +I intended, to Sir Harry, wherever he could be found. + +Hold, hold, sir! resisting; but with features far more placid than she +had suffered to be before visible--If I must be compelled--You are a +strange man, Sir Charles Grandison--If I must be compelled to see Sir +Harry--But you are a strange man--And she rang the bell. + +Lady Beauchamp, Dr. Bartlett, is one of those who would be more ready to +forgive an innocent freedom, than to be gratified by a profound respect; +otherwise I had not treated her with so little ceremony. Such women are +formidable only to those who are afraid of their anger, or who make it a +serious thing. + +But when the servant appeared, she not knowing how to condescend, I said, +Go to your master, sir, and tell him that your lady requests the +favour-- + +Requests the favour! repeated she; but in a low voice: which was no bad +sign. + +The servant went with a message worded with more civility than perhaps he +was used to carry to his master from his lady. + +Now, dear Lady Beauchamp, for your own sake; for Sir Harry's sake; make +happy; and be happy. Are there not, dear madam, unhappinesses enow in +life, that we must wilfully add to them? + +Sir Harry came in sight. He stalked towards us with a parade like that +of a young officer wanting to look martial at the head of his company. + +Could I have seen him before he entered, my work would have been easier. +But his hostile air disposed my lady to renew hostilities. + +She turned her face aside, then her person; and the cloudy indignation +with which she entered at first, again overspread her features. Ought +wrath, Dr. Bartlett, to be so ready to attend a female will?--Surely, +thought I, my lady's present airs, after what has passed between her and +me, can be only owing to the fear of making a precedent, and being +thought too easily persuaded. + +Sir Harry, said I, addressing myself to him, I have obtained Lady +Beauchamp's pardon for the officious letter-- + +Pardon, Sir Charles Grandison! You are a good man, and it was kindly +intended-- + +He was going on: anger from his eyes flashed upon his cheek-bones, and +made them shine. My lady's eyes struck fire at Sir Harry, and shewed +that she was not afraid of him. + +Better intended, than done, interrupted I, since my lady tells me, that +it was the occasion of a misunderstanding--But, sir, all will be right: +my lady assures me, that you are not disinclined to comply with the +contents; and she has the goodness-- + +Pray, Sir Charles, interrupted the lady-- + +To give me hopes that she-- + +Pray, Sir Charles-- + +Will use her interest to confirm you in your favourable sentiments-- + +Sir Harry cleared up at once--May I hope, madam--And offered to take her +hand. + +She withdrew it with an air. O Dr. Bartlett, I must have been thought an +unpolite husband, had she been my wife! + +I took her hand. Excuse this freedom, Sir Harry--For Heaven's sake, +madam, (whispering,) do what I know you will do, with a grace--Shall +there be a misunderstanding, and the husband court a refused hand?--I +then forced her half-unwilling hand into his, with an air that I intended +should have both freedom and respect in it. + +What a man have we got here, Sir Harry? This cannot be the modest man, +that you have praised to me--I thought a good man must of necessity be +bashful, if not sheepish: and here your visitor is the boldest man in +England. + +The righteous, Lady Beauchamp, said Sir Harry, with an aspect but +half-conceding, is bold as a lion. + +And must I be compelled thus, and by such a man, to forgive you, Sir +Harry?--Indeed you were very unkind. + +And you, Lady Beauchamp, were very cruel. + +I did not think, sir, when I laid my fortune at your feet-- + +O, Lady Beauchamp! You said cutting things! Very cutting things. + +And did not you, Sir Harry, say, it should be so?--So very peremptorily! + +Not, madam, till you, as peremptorily-- + +A little recrimination, thought I, there must be, to keep each in +countenance on their past folly. + +Ah, Sir Charles!--You may rejoice that you are not married, said Sir +Harry. + +Dear Sir Harry, said I, we must bear with ladies. They are meek good +creatures--They-- + +Meek! Sir Charles, repeated Sir Harry, with a half-angry smile, and +shrugging, as if his shoulder had been hurt with his wife's meekness-- +say, meek! + +Now, Sir Charles Grandison, said my lady, with an air of threatening-- + +I was desirous either of turning the lady's displeasure into a jest, or +of diverting it from the first object, in order to make her play with it, +till she had lost it. + +Women are of gentle natures, pursued I; and, being accustomed to be +humoured, opposition sits not easy upon them. Are they not kind to us, +Sir Harry, when they allow of our superiority, by expecting us to bear +with their pretty perversenesses? + +O, Sir Charles Grandison! said my lady; both her hands lifted up. + +Let us be contented, proceeded I, with such their kind acknowledgments, +and in pity to them, and in compliment to ourselves, bear with their +foibles.--See, madam, I ever was an advocate for the ladies. + +Sir Charles, I have no patience with you-- + +What can a poor woman do, continued I, when opposed? She can only be a +little violent in words, and, when she has said as much as she chooses to +say, be perhaps a little sullen. For my part, were I so happy as to call +a woman mine, and she happened to be in the wrong, I would endeavour to +be in the right, and trust to her good sense to recover her temper: +arguments only beget arguments.--Those reconciliations are the most +durable, in which the lady makes the advances. + +What doctrine is this, Sir Charles! You are not the man I took you for. +--I believe, in my conscience, that you are not near so good a man, as +the world reports you. + +What, madam, because I pretend to know a little of the sex? Surely, Lady +Beauchamp, a man of common penetration may see to the bottom of a woman's +heart. A cunning woman cannot hide it. A good woman will not. You are +not, madam, such mysteries, as some of us think you. Whenever you know +your own minds, we need not be long doubtful: that is all the difficulty: +and I will vindicate you, as to that-- + +As how, pray, sir? + +Women, madam, were designed to be dependent, as well as gentle, +creatures; and, of consequence when left to their own wills, they know +not what to resolve upon. + +I was hoping, Sir Charles, just now, that you would stay to dinner: but +if you talk at this rate, I believe I shall be ready to wish you out of +the house. + +Sir Harry looked as if he were half-willing to be diverted at what passed +between his lady and me. It was better for me to say what he could not +but subscribe to by his feeling, than for him to say it. Though reproof +seldom amends a determined spirit, such a one as this lady's; yet a man +who suffers by it cannot but have some joy when he hears his sentiments +spoken by a bystander. This freedom of mine seemed to save the married +pair a good deal of recrimination. + +You remind me, madam, that I must be gone, rising and looking at my +watch. + +You must not leave us, Sir Charles, said Sir Harry. + +I beg excuse, Sir Harry--Yours, also, madam, smiling--Lady Beauchamp must +not twice wish me out of the house. + +I will not excuse you, sir, replied she--If you have a desire to see the +matter completed--She stopt--You must stay to dinner, be that as it will. + +'Be that as it will,' madam!--You shall not recede. + +Recede! I have not yet complied-- + +O these women! They are so used to courtship, that they know not how to +do right things without it--And, pardon me, madam, not always with it. + +Bold man--Have I consented-- + +Have you not, madam, given a lady's consent? That we men expect not to +be very explicit, very gracious.--It is from such non-negative consents, +that we men make silence answer all we wish. + +I leave Sir Charles Grandison to manage this point, said Sir Harry. In +my conscience, I think the common observation just: a stander-by sees +more of the game, than he that plays. + +It ever will be so, Sir Harry--But I will tell you, my lady and I have as +good as agreed the matter-- + +I have agreed to nothing, Sir Harry-- + +Hush, madam--I am doing you credit.--Lady Beauchamp speaks aside +sometimes, Sir Harry: you are not to hear any thing she says, that you +don't like. + +Then I am afraid I must stop my ears for eight hours out of twelve. + +That was aside, Lady Beauchamp--You are not to hear that. + +To sit, like a fool, and hear myself abused--A pretty figure I make! Sir +Charles Grandison, let me tell you, that you are the first man that ever +treated me like a fool. + +Excuse, madam, a little innocent raillery--I met you both, with a +discomposure on your countenances. I was the occasion of it, by the +letter I sent to Sir Harry. I will not leave you discomposed. I think +you a woman of sense; and my request is of such a nature, that the +granting of it will confirm to me, that you are so--But you have granted +it-- + +I have not. + +That's charmingly said--My lady will not undervalue the compliment she is +inclined to make you, Sir Harry. The moment you ask for her compliance, +she will not refuse to your affection, what she makes a difficulty to +grant to the entreaty of an almost stranger. + +Let it, let it be so! Lady Beauchamp, said Sir Harry: and he clasped his +arms about her as she sat-- + +There never was such a man as this Sir Charles Grandison in the world!-- +It is a contrivance between you, Sir Harry-- + +Dear Lady Beauchamp, resumed I, depreciate not your compliment to Sir +Harry. There wanted not contrivance, I dare to hope, (if there did, it +had it not,) to induce Lady Beauchamp to do a right, a kind, an obliging +thing. + +Let me, my dearest Lady Beauchamp, said Sir Harry--Let me request-- + +At your request, Sir Harry--But not at Sir Charles's. + +This is noble, said I. I thank you, madam, for the absent youth. Both +husband and son will think themselves favoured by you; and the more, as I +am sure, that you will by the cheerful welcome, which you will give the +young man, shew, that it is a sincere compliment that you have made to +Sir Harry. + +This man has a strange way of flattering one into acts of--of--what shall +I call them?--But, Sir Harry, Mr. Beauchamp must not, I believe, live +with us-- + +Sir Harry hesitated. + +I was afraid of opening the wound. I have a request to make to you both, +said I. It is this; that Mr. Beauchamp may be permitted to live with me; +and attend you, madam, and his father, as a visitor, at your own command. +My sister, I believe, will be very soon married to Lord G----. + +That is to be certainly so, interrupted the lady? + +It is, madam. + +But what shall we say, my dear, resumed Sir Harry--Don't fly out again-- +As to the provision for my son?--Two hundred a year--What is two hundred +a year---- + +Why then let it be three, answered she. + +I have a handsome and improvable estate, said I. I have no demands but +those of reason upon me. I would not offer a plea for his coming to +England, (and I am sure he would not have come, if I had,) without his +father's consent: in which, madam, he hoped for yours. You shall not, +sir, allow him either the two or three hundred a year. See him with +love, with indulgence (he will deserve both;) and think not of any thing +else for my Beauchamp. + +There is no bearing this, my dear, said Sir Harry; leaning upon his +lady's shoulder, as he sat, tears in his eyes--My son is already, as I +have heard, greatly obliged to this his true friend--Do you, do you, +madam, answer for me, and for yourself. + +She was overcome: yet pride had its share with generosity. You are, said +she, the Grandison I have heard of: but I will not be under obligations +to you--not pecuniary ones, however. No, Sir Harry! Recall your son: I +will trust to your love: do for him what you please: let him be +independent on this insolent man; [She said this with a smile, that made +it obliging;] and if we are to be visitors, friends, neighbours, let it +be on an equal foot, and let him have nothing to reproach us with. + +I was agreeably surprised at this emanation (shall I call it?) of +goodness: she is really not a bad woman, but a perverse one; in short, +one of those whose passions, when rightly touched, are liable to sudden +and surprising turns. + +Generous, charming Lady Beauchamp! said I: now are you the woman, whom I +have so often heard praised for many good qualities: now will the +portrait be a just one! + +Sir Harry was in raptures; but had like to have spoiled all, by making me +a compliment on the force of example. + +Be this, said I, the result--Mr. Beauchamp comes over. He will be +pleased with whatever you do: at your feet, madam, he shall acknowledge +your favour: My home shall be his, if you permit it: On me, he shall +confer obligations; from you, he shall receive them. If any +considerations of family prudence (there are such, and very just ones) +restrain you from allowing him, at present, what your generosity would +wish to do-- + +Lady Beauchamp's colour was heightened: She interrupted me--We are not, +Sir Charles, so scanty in our fortune-- + +Well, my dear Lady Beauchamp, be all that as you will: not one retrospect +of the past-- + +Yes, Sir Charles, but there shall: his allowance has been lessened for +some years; not from considerations of family prudence--But--Well, 'tis +all at an end, proceeded she--When the young man returns, you, Sir Harry, +for my sake, and for the sake of this strange unaccountable creature, +shall pay him the whole arrear. + +Now, my dear Lady Beauchamp, said I, listing her hand to my lips, permit +me to give you joy. All doubts and misgivings so triumphantly got over, +so solid a foundation laid for family harmony--What was the moment of +your nuptials to this? Sir Harry, I congratulate you: you may, and I +believe you have been, as happy as most men; but now, you will be still +happier. + +Indeed, Sir Harry, said she, you provoked me in the morning: I should not +else-- + +Sir Harry owned himself to blame; and thus the lady's pride was set down +softly. + +She desired Sir Harry to write, before the day concluded, the invitation +of return, to Mr. Beauchamp; and to do her all the credit in it that she +might claim from the last part of the conversation; but not to mention +any thing of the first. + +She afterwards abated a little of this right spirit, by saying, I think, +Sir Harry, you need not mention any thing of the arrears, as I may call +them--But only the future 600£. a year. One would surprise him a little, +you know, and be twice thanked-- + +Surprises of such a nature as this, my dear Dr. Bartlett; pecuniary +surprises!--I don't love them--They are double taxes upon the gratitude +of a worthy heart. Is it not enough for a generous mind to labour under +a sense of obligation?--Pride, vain-glory, must be the motive of such +narrow-minded benefactors: a truly beneficent spirit cannot take delight +in beholding the quivering lip indicating the palpitating heart; in +seeing the downcast countenance, the up-lifted hands, and working +muscles, of a fellow-creature, who, but for unfortunate accidents, would +perhaps himself have had the will, with the power, of shewing a more +graceful benevolence! + +I was so much afraid of hearing farther abatements of Lady Beauchamp's +goodness; so willing to depart with favourable impressions of her for her +own sake; and at the same time so desirous to reach the Hall that night; +that I got myself excused, though with difficulty, staying to dine; and +accepting of a dish of chocolate, I parted with Sir Harry and my lady, +both in equal good humour with themselves and me. + +Could you have thought, my dear friend, that I should have succeeded so +very happily, as I have done, in this affair, and at one meeting? + +I think that the father and stepmother should have the full merit with +our Beauchamp of a turn so unexpected. Let him not therefore ever see +this letter, that he may take his impression of the favour done him, from +that which Sir Harry will write to him. + +My cousin Grandison, whom I hoped to find here, left the Hall on Tuesday +last, though he knew of my intention to be down. I am sorry for it. +Poor Everard! He has been a great while pretty good. I am afraid he +will get among his old acquaintance; and then we shall not hear of him +for some months perhaps. If you see him in town, try to engage him, till +I return. I should be glad of his company to Paris, if his going with +me, will keep him out of harm's way, as it is called. + + +*** + + +SATURDAY, APRIL 1. + +I have had compliments sent me by many of my neighbours, who had hoped I +was come to reside among them. They professed themselves disappointed on +my acquainting them, that I must go up early on Monday morning. I have +invited myself to their Saturday assembly at the Bowling-green-house. + +Our reverend friend Mr. Dobson has been so good as to leave with me the +sermon he is to preach to-morrow on the opening of the church: it is a +very good discourse: I have only exceptions to three or four compliments +he makes to the patron in as many different places of it: I doubt not but +he will have the goodness to omit them. + +I have already looked into all that has been done in the church; and all +that is doing in the house and gardens. When both have had the direction +and inspection of my dear Dr. Bartlett, need I say, that nothing could +have been better? + + +*** + + +Halden is just arrived from my lord, with a letter, which has enabled me +to write to Lady Mansfield his lordship's high approbation of all our +proceedings; and that he intends some one early day in next week to pay +to her, and Miss Mansfield, his personal compliments. + +He has left to me the article of settlements; declaring, that his regard +for my future interest is all that he wishes may be attended to. + +I have therefore written, as from himself, that he proposes a jointure of +1200£. a year, penny-rents, and 300 guineas a year for her private purse; +and that his lordship desires, that Miss Mansfield will make a present to +her sister of whatever she may be entitled to in her own right. +Something was mentioned to me at Mansfield-house of a thousand pounds +left to her by a godmother. + +Halden being very desirous to see his future lady, I shall, at his +request, send the letter I have written to Lady Mansfield by him early in +the morning; with a line recommending him to the notice of that lady as +Lord W----'s principal steward. + +Adieu, my dear Dr. Bartlett: I have joy in the joy of all these good +people. If Providence graciously makes me instrumental to it, I look +upon myself but as its instrument. I hope ostentation has no share in +what draws on me more thanks and praises than I love to hear. + +Lord W---- has a right to be made happy by his next relation, if his next +relation can make him so. Is he not my mother's brother? Would not her +enlarged soul have rejoiced on the occasion, and blessed her son for an +instance of duty to her, paid by his disinterested regard for her +brother? Who, my dear Dr. Bartlett, is so happy, yet who, in some cases, +so unhappy, as your + +CHARLES GRANDISON. + + + +LETTER IX + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +MONDAY, APRIL 3. + + +The Countess of D----, and the earl, her son, have but just left us. The +countess sent last night, to let my cousin Reeves know of their intended +morning visit, and they came together. As the visit was made to my +cousin, I did not think myself obliged to be in waiting for them below. I +was therefore in my closet, comforting myself with my own agreeable +reflections. They were there a quarter of an hour before I was sent to. + +Their talk was of me. I am used to recite my own praises, you know; and +what signifies making a parade of apologies for continuing the use? I +don't value myself so much as I once did on peoples favourable opinions. +If I had a heart in my own keeping, I should be glad it was thought a +good one; that's all. Yet though it has littlenesses in it that I knew +nothing of formerly, I hope it is not a bad one. + +My Lord D----, by the whole turn of the partial conversation, was led to +expect a very extraordinary young woman. The lady declared, that she +would have her talk out, and hear all my two cousins were inclined to say +of me, before I was sent up to, as I was not below when they came. + +I was therefore to be seen only as a subject of curiosity. My lord had +declared, it seems, that he would not be denied an introduction to me by +his mother. But there were no thoughts of making any application to a +girl whose heart was acknowledged not to be her own. My lord's honour +would not allow of such an intention. Nor ought it. + +His impatience, however, hastened the message to me. The countess met me +half-way, and embraced me. My lovely girl, how do you?--My lord, said +she, turning to the earl, I need not say--This is Miss Byron. + +He bowed low, and made me a very high compliment; but it had sense in it, +though high, and above my merits. Girls, writing of themselves on these +occasions, must be disclaimers, you know: But, my dear uncle, what care I +now for compliments? The man, from whose mouth only they could be +acceptable, is not at liberty to make me any. + +The countess engaged me in an easy general conversation; part of which +turned upon Lord and Lady L----, Miss Grandison, and Miss Jervois, and +how I had passed my time at Colnebrook, in this wintry season, when there +were so many diversions in town. But, said she, you had a man with you, +who is the admiration of every man and woman, wherever he goes. + +Is there no making an acquaintance, said my lord, with Sir Charles +Grandison? What I hear said of him, every time he is mentioned in +company, is enough to fire a young man with emulation. I should be happy +did I deserve to be thought of as a second or third man to Sir Charles +Grandison. + +I dare say, returned I, your lordship's acquaintance would be highly +acceptable to him. He is easy of access. Men of rank, if men of merit, +must be of kindred, and recognize one another the moment they meet. But +Sir Charles will soon leave England. + +The fool sighed: it was, you may believe, involuntarily. I felt myself +blush, and was the more silly for that. + +The countess took my hand--One word with you, my dear--and led me out +into the next room, and sitting down, made me sit on the same settee with +her. + +O that I could call you daughter! began she at once; and turning half +round to me, put one arm about me, with her other hand taking one of +mine, and earnestly looking in my downcast face. + +I was silent. Ah, Lucy! had Lady D---- been the mother of Sir Charles +Grandison, with what pleasure could I have listened to her! + +You said, my dear, that Sir Charles Grandison will soon leave England: +--and then you sighed--Will you be quite open-hearted?--May I ask you a +question in hope that you will? + +I was silent: yet the word Yes was on my lips. + +You have caused it to be told me, that your affections are engaged. This +has been a cruel blow upon us. My lord, nevertheless, has heard so much +of you, [he is really a good young man, my dear,] that (against my +advice, I own,) he would have me introduce him into your company. I see +by his looks, that he could admire you above all women. He never was in +love: I should be sorry if he were disappointed in his first love. I +hope his promised prudence will be his guard, if there be no prospect of +his succeeding with you--She paused--I was still silent-- + +It will be a mark of your frankness of heart, my dear, if, when you take +my full meaning, you prevent me speaking more than I need.--I would not +oppress you, my sweet love--Such a delicacy, and such a frankness +mingled, have I never seen in young woman--But tell me, my dear, has Sir +Charles Grandison made his addresses to you? + +It was a grievous question for me to answer--But why was it so, my Lucy, +when all the hopes I ever had, proceeded from my own presumption, +confirmed (that's true, of late!) by his sisters partiality in my favour; +and when his unhappy Clementina has such a preferable claim? + +What says Miss Byron? + +She says, madam, that she reveres Lady D----, and will answer any +questions that she puts to her, however affecting--Sir Charles Grandison +has not. + +Once I thought, proceeded she, that I never would make a second motion, +were the woman a princess, who had confessed a prior love, or even +liking: but the man is Sir Charles Grandison, whom all women must esteem; +and the woman is Miss Byron, whom all men must love. Let me ask you, my +dear--Have you any expectation, that the first of men (I will call him +so) and the loveliest and most amiable-minded of women, can come +together?--You sighed, you know, when you mentioned, that Sir Charles was +soon to leave England; and you own that he has not made addresses to you +--Don't be uneasy, my love!--We women, in these tender cases, see into +each other's hearts from small openings--Look upon me as your mother-- +What say you, love? + +Your ladyship compliments me with delicacy and frankness--It is too hard +a question, if I have any of the first, to answer without blushes. A +young woman to be supposed to have an esteem for a man, who has made no +declarations, and whose behaviour to her is such only as shews a +politeness to which he is accustomed, and only the same kind of +tenderness as he shews to his sisters;--and whom sometimes he calls +sister--as if--Ah, madam, how can one answer? + +You have answered, my dear, and with that delicacy and frankness too, +which make a principal part of your character. If my son (and he shall +not be encouraged in his hopes, if he sees you not, mind as well as +person, with his mother's eyes) should not be able to check himself by +the apprehensions he has had reason for, of being but a second man in the +favour of the object of his wishes [We, my dear, have our delicacies]; +could you not allow him a second place in your favour, that might, in +time, as he should merit, and as you should subdue your prepossessions, +give him a first?--Hush--my dear, for one moment--Your honour, your +piety, are my just dependence; and will be his.--And now speak: it is to +me, my dear: speak your whole heart: let not any apprehended difficulty-- +I am a woman as well as you. And prepared to indulge-- + +Your goodness, madam, and nothing else, interrupted I, gives me +difficulty.--My Lord D---- seems to me to be a man of merit, and not a +disagreeable man in his person and manners. What he said of Sir Charles +Grandison, and of his emulation being fired by his example, gave him +additional merit with me. He must have a good mind. I wish him +acquainted with Sir Charles, for his own sake, and for the sake of the +world, which might be benefited by his large power, so happily directed! +--But as to myself, I should forfeit the character of frankness of heart, +which your ladyship's goodness ascribes to me, if I did not declare, that +although I cannot, and, I think ought not to entertain a hope with regard +to Sir Charles Grandison, since there is a lady who deserved him by +severe sufferings before I knew him; yet is my heart so wholly attached, +that I cannot think it just to give the least encouragement to any other +proposal. + +You are an excellent young woman: but, my dear, if Sir Charles Grandison +is engaged--your mind will, it must change. Few women marry their first +loves. Your heart-- + +O, madam! it is already a wedded heart: it is wedded to his merits; his +merits will be always the object of my esteem: I can never think of any +other, as I ought to think of the man to whom I give my hand. + +Like merits, my dear, as person is not the principal motive, may produce +like attachments. My Lord D---- will be, in your hands, another Sir +Charles Grandison. + +How good you are, my dear Lady D----! But allow me to repeat, as the +strongest expression I can use, because I mean it to carry in it all the +force that can be given it, that my heart is already a wedded heart. + +You have spoken with great force: God bless you, my dear, as I love you! +The matter shall take its course. If my lord should happen to be a +single man some time hence (and, I can tell you, that your excellencies +will make our choice difficult): and if your mind, from any accident, or +from persuasion of friends, should then have received alteration; you may +still be happy in each other. I will therefore only thank you for that +openness of heart, which must set free the heart of my son--Had you had +the least lurking inclination to coquetry, and could have taken pride in +conquests, he might have been an undone man.--We will return to the +company--But spare him, my dear: you must not talk much. He will love +you, if you do, too fervently for his own peace. Try to be a little +awkward--I am afraid for him: indeed I am. O that you had never seen Sir +Charles Grandison! + +I could not answer one word. She took my hand; and led me into the +company. + +Had I been silent, when my lord directed his discourse to me, or answered +only No, or Yes, the Countess would have thought me very vain; and that +I ascribed to myself the consequence she so generously gave me, with +respect to my lord. I therefore behaved and answered unaffectedly; but +avoided such a promptness of speech, as would have looked like making +pretensions to knowledge and opinion, though some of my lord's questions +were apparently designed to engage me into freedom of discourse. The +countess observed me narrowly. She whispered to me, that she did; and +made me a very high compliment on my behaviour. How much, Lucy, do I +love and reverence her! + +My lord was spoken too slightly of, by Miss Grandison, in a former +conversation. He is really a fine gentleman. Any woman who is not +engaged in her affections, may think herself very happy with him. His +conversation was easy and polite, and he said nothing that was low or +trifling. Indeed, Lucy, I think Mr. Greville and Mr. Fenwick are as +greatly inferior to Lord D----, as Lord D---- is to Sir Charles +Grandison. + +At parting, he requested of me, to be allowed to repeat his visits. + +My lord, said the countess, before I could answer, you must not expect a +mere stiff maiden answer from Miss Byron: she is above all vulgar forms. +She and her cousins have too much politeness, and, I will venture to say, +discernment, not to be glad of your acquaintance, as an acquaintance-- +But, for the rest, you must look to your heart. + +I shall be afraid, said he, turning to the countess, to ask your ladyship +for an explanation. Miss Byron, I hope, sir, addressing himself to Mr. +Reeves, will not refuse me her company, when I pay you my compliments. +Then turning to me, I hope, madam, I shall not be punished for admiring +you. + +My Lord D----, replied I, will be entitled to every civility. I had said +more, had he not snatched my hand a little too eagerly, and kissed it. + +And thus much for the visit of the Countess of D---- and the earl. + + +*** + + +Did I tell you in my former letter, that Emily is with me half her time? +She is a most engaging young creature. Her manners are so pure! Her +heart is so sincere and open!--O, Lucy! you would dearly love her. I +wish I may be asked to carry her down with me. Yet she adores her +guardian: but her reverence for him will not allow of the innocent +familiarity in thinking of him, that--I don't know what I would say. But +to love with an ardor, that would be dangerous to one's peace, one must +have more tenderness than reverence for the object: Don't you think so, +Lucy? + +Miss Grandison made me one of her flying visits, as she calls them, soon +after the countess and my lord went away. + +Mr. and Mrs. Reeves told her all that had been said before them by the +earl and countess, as well before I went down to them, as after. They +could not tell her what passed between that lady and me, when she took me +aside. I had not had time to tell them. They referred to me for that: +but besides that I was not in spirits, and cared not to say much, I was +not willing to be thought by my refusal of so great an offer, to seem to +fasten myself upon her brother. + +She pitied (who but must?) Lady Clementina. She pitied her brother also: +and, seeing me dejected, she clasped her arms about me, and wet my cheek +with a sisterly tear. + +Is it not very strange, Lucy, that his father should keep him so long +abroad? These free-living men! of what absurdities are they not guilty! +What misfortunes to others do they not occasion? One might, with the +excellent Clementina, ask, What had Mr. Grandison to do in Italy! Or +why, if he must go abroad, did he stay so long? + +Travelling! Young men travelling! I cannot, my dear, but think it a +very nonsensical thing! What can they see, but the ruins of the gay, +once busy world, of which they have read? + +To see a parcel of giddy boys under the direction of tutors or governors +hunting after--What?--Nothing: or, at best, but ruins of ruins; for the +imagination, aided by reflection, must be left, after all, to make out +the greater glories, which the grave-digger Time has buried too deep for +discovery. + +And when this grand tour is completed, the travelled youth returns: And, +what is his boast? Why to be able to tell, perhaps his better taught +friend, who has never been out of his native country, that he has seen in +ruins, what the other has a juster idea of from reading; and of which, it +is more than probable, he can give a much better account than the +traveller. + +And are these, petulant Harriet, (methinks, Lucy, you demand,) all the +benefits that you will suppose Sir Charles Grandison has reaped from his +travelling? + +Why, no. But then, in turn, I ask, Is every traveller a Sir Charles +Grandison?--And does not even he confess to Dr. Bartlett, that he wished +he had never seen Italy? And may not the poor Clementina, and all her +family, for her sake, wish he never had? + +If an opportunity offers, I don't know, but I may ask Sir Charles, +whether, in his conscience, he thinks, that, taking in every +consideration, relating to time, expense, risques of life, health, +morals, this part of the fashionable education of youth of condition is +such an indispensable one, as some seem to suppose it? If Sir Charles +Grandison give it not in favour of travelling, I believe it will be +concluded, that six parts out of eight of the little masters who are sent +abroad for improvement, might as well be kept at home; if, especially, +they would be orderly, and let their fathers and mothers know what to do +with them. + +O, my uncle! I am afraid of you: but spare the poor girl: she +acknowledges her petulance, her presumption. The occasion you know, and +will pity her for it! However, neither petulance nor presumption shall +make her declare as her sentiments what really are not so, in her +unprejudiced hours; and she hopes to have her heart always open to +conviction. + +For the present, Adieu, my Lucy. + + +P.S. Dr. Bartlett tells me, that Mr. Beauchamp is at Calais, waiting the +pleasure of his father; and that Sir Harry has sent express for him, as +at his lady's motion. + + + +LETTER X + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY, APRIL 4. + + +Sir Charles Grandison came to town last night. He was so polite as to +send to inquire after my health; and to let Mr. Reeves know, that he +would do himself the honour, as he called it, of breakfasting with him +this morning. Very ceremonious either for his own sake or for mine-- +Perhaps for both. + +So I am in expectation of seeing within this half-hour, the noble +Clementina's future--Ah Lucy! + +The compliment, you see, is to Mr. Reeves--Shall I stay above, and see if +he will ask for me? He owes me something for the emotion he gave me in +Lord L----'s library. Very little of him since have I seen. + +'Honour forbids me,' said he, then: 'Yet honour bids me.--But I cannot be +ungenerous, selfish.'--These words are still in my ear.--What could he +mean by them?--Honour forbids me--What! to explain himself? He had been +telling me a tender tale: he had ended it. What did honour forbid him to +do?--Yet honour bids me! Why then did he not follow the dictates of +honour? + +But I cannot be unjust:--To Clementina he means. Who wished him to be +so?--Unjust! I hope not. It is a diminution to your glory, Sir Charles +Grandison, to have the word unjust, in this way of speaking, in your +thoughts! As if a good man had lain under a temptation to be unjust; and +had but just recollected himself. + +'I cannot be ungenerous.' To the noble lady, I suppose? He must take +compassion on her. And did he think himself under an obligation to my +forwardness to make this declaration to me, as to one who wished him to +be ungenerous to such a lady for my sake!--I cannot bear the thought of +this. Is it not as if he had said, 'Fond Harriet, I see what you expect +from me--But I must have compassion for, I cannot be ungenerous to, +Clementina!'--But, what a poor word is compassion! Noble Clementina! I +grieve for you, though the man be indeed a generous man!--O defend me, my +better genius, from wanting the compassion even of a Sir Charles +Grandison! + +But what means he by the word selfish! He cannot be selfish!--I +comprehend not the meaning of this word--Clementina has a very high +fortune--Harriet but a very middling one. He cannot be unjust, +ungenerous to Clementina--Nor yet selfish--This word confounds me, from a +man that says nothing at random! + +Well, but breakfast-time is come, while I am busy in self-debatings. I +will go down, that I may not seem to affect parade. I will endeavour to +see with indifference, him that we have all been admiring and studying +for this last fortnight, in such a variety of lights. The christian: the +hero: the friend:--Ah, Lucy! the lover of Clementina: the generous +kinsman of Lord W----: the modest and delicate benefactor of the +Mansfields: the free, gay, raillier of Lady Beauchamp; and, in her, of +all our sex's foibles! + +But he is come! While I am prating to you with my pen, he is come--Why, +Lucy, would you detain me?--Now must the fool go down in a kind of hurry: +Yet stay till she is sent for.--And that is now. + + + +LETTER XI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION + + +O Lucy, I have such a conversation to relate to you!--But let me lead to +it. + +Sir Charles met me at the opening of the door. He was all himself. Such +an unaffected modesty and politeness; yet such an ease and freedom! + +I thought, by his address, that he would have taken my hand; and both +hands were so emulatively passive--How does he manage it to be so free in +a first address, yet so respectful, that a princess could not blame him! + +After breakfast, my cousins being sent for out to attend Sir John +Allestree and his Niece, Sir Charles and I were left alone: and then, +with an air equally solemn and free, he addressed himself to me. + +The last time I had the honour of being alone with my good Miss Byron, I +told her a very tender tale. I was sure it would raise in such a heart +as hers generous compassion for the noblest lady on the continent; and I +presumed, as my difficulties were not owing either to rashness or +indiscretion, that she would also pity the relater. + +The story did indeed affect you; yet, for my own sake, as well as yours, +I referred you to Dr. Bartlett, for the particulars of some parts of it, +upon which I could not expatiate. + +The doctor, madam, has let me know the particulars which he communicated +to you. I remember with pain the pain I gave to your generous heart in +Lord L----'s study. I am sure you must have suffered still more from the +same compassionate goodness on the communications he made you. May I, +madam, however, add a few particulars to the same subject, which he then +could not give you? Now you have been let into so considerable a part of +my story, I am desirous to acquaint you, and that rather than any woman +in the world, with all that I know myself of this arduous affair. + +He ceased speaking. I was in tremors. Sir, sir--The story, I must own, +is a most affecting one. How much is the unhappy lady to be pitied! You +will do me honour in acquainting me with further particulars of it. + +Dr. Bartlett has told you, madam, that the Bishop of Nocera, second +brother to Lady Clementina, has very lately written to me, requesting +that I will make one more visit to Bologna--I have the letter. You read +Italian, madam. Shall I--Or will you--He held it to me. + +I took it. These, Lucy, are the contents. + +'The bishop acquaints him with the very melancholy way they are in. The +father and mother declining in their healths. Signor Jeronymo worse than +when Sir Charles left them. His sister also declining in her health: yet +earnest still to see him. + +'He says, that she is at present at Urbino; but is soon to go to Naples +to the general's. He urges him to make them one visit more; yet owns, +that his family are not unanimous in the request: but that he and Father +Marescotti, and the marchioness, are extremely earnest that this +indulgence should be granted to the wishes of his dear sister. + +'He offers to meet him, at his own appointment, and conduct him to +Bologna; where, he tells him, his presence will rejoice every heart, and +procure an unanimous consent to the interview so much desired: and says, +that if this measure, which he is sorry he has so long withstood, answers +not his hopes, he will advise the shutting up of their Clementina in a +nunnery, or to consign her to private hands, where she shall be treated +kindly, but as persons in her unhappy circumstances are accustomed to be +treated.' + +Sir Charles then shewed me a letter from Signor Jeronymo; in which he +acquaints him with the dangerous way he is in. He tells him, 'That his +life is a burden to him. He wishes it was brought to its period. He +does not think himself in skilful hands. He complains most of the wound +which is in his hip-joint; and which has hitherto baffled the art both of +the Italian and French surgeons who have been consulted. He wishes, that +himself and Sir Charles had been of one country, he says, since the +greatest felicity he now has to wish for, is to yield up his life to the +Giver of it, in the arms of his Grandison.' + +He mentions not one word in this melancholy letter of his unhappy sister: +which Sir Charles accounted for, by supposing, that she not being at +Bologna, they kept from him, in his deplorable way, everything relating +to her, that was likely to disturb him. He then read part of a letter +written in English, by the admired Mrs. Beaumont; some of the contents +of which were, as you shall hear, extremely affecting. + +'Mrs. Beaumont gives him in it an account of the situation of the unhappy +young lady; and excuses herself for not having done it before, in answer +to his request, by reason of an indisposition under which she had for +some time laboured, which had hindered her from making the necessary +inquiries. + +'She mentions, that the lady had received no benefit from her journeyings +from place to place; and from her voyage from Leghorn to Naples, and back +again; and blames her attendants, who, to quiet her, unknown to their +principals, for some time, kept her in expectation of seeing her +Chevalier, at the end of each; for her more prudent Camilla, she says, +had been hindered by illness from attending her, in several of the +excursions. + +'They had a second time, at her own request, put her into a nunnery. She +at first was so sedate in it as gave them hopes: but the novelty going +off, and one of the sisters, to try her, having officiously asked her to +go with her into the parlour, where she said, she would be allowed to +converse through the grate with a certain English gentleman, her +impatience, on her disappointment, made her more ungovernable than they +had ever known her; for she had been for two hours before meditating what +she would say to him. + +'For a week together, she was vehemently intent upon being allowed to +visit England; and had engaged her cousins, Sebastiano and Juliano, to +promise to escort her thither, if she could obtain leave. + +'Her mother brought her off this when nobody else could, only by +entreating her, for her sake, never to think of it more. + +'The marchioness then, encouraged by this instance of her obedience, took +her under her own care: but the young lady going on from flight to +slight; and the way she was in visibly affecting the health of her +indulgent mother; a doctor was found, who was absolutely of opinion, that +nothing but harsh methods would avail: and in this advice Lady Sforza, +and her daughter Laurana, and the general, concurring, she was told, that +she must prepare to go to Milan. She was so earnest to be excused from +going thither, and to be permitted to go to Florence to Mrs. Beaumont, +that they gave way to her entreaties; and the marquis himself, +accompanying her to Florence, prevailed on Mrs. Beaumont to take her +under her care. + +'With her she staid three weeks: she was tolerably sedate in that space +of time; but most so, when she was talking of England, and of the +Chevalier Grandison, and his sisters, with whom she wished to be +acquainted. She delighted to speak English, and to talk of the +tenderness and goodness of her tutor; and of what he said to her, upon +such and such a subject. + +'At the three weeks end, the general made her a visit, in company of Lady +Sforza; and her talk being all on this subject, they were both highly +displeased; and hinted, that she was too much indulged in it; and, +unhappily, she repeating some tender passages that passed in the +interview her mother had permitted her to hold with the Chevalier, the +general would have it, that Mr. Grandison had designedly, from the first, +sought to give himself consequence with her; and expressed himself, on +the occasion, with great violence against him. + +'He carried his displeasure to extremity, and obliged her to go away with +his aunt and him that very day, to her great regret; and as much to the +regret of Mrs. Beaumont, and of the ladies her friends; who tenderly +loved the innocent visionary, as sometimes they called her. And Mrs. +Beaumont is sure, that the gentle treatment she met with from them, would +in time, though perhaps slowly, have greatly helped her.' + +Mrs. Beaumont then gives an account of the harsh treatment the poor young +lady met with. + +Sir Charles Grandison would have stopt reading here. He said, he could +not read it to me, without such a change of voice, as would add to my +pain, as well as to his own. + +Tears often stole down my cheeks, when I read the letters of the bishop +and Signor Jeronymo, and as Sir Charles read a part of Mrs. Beaumont's +letter: and I doubted not but what was to follow would make them flow. +Yet, I said, Be pleased, sir, to let me read on. I am not a stranger to +distress. I can pity others, or I should not deserve pity myself. + +He pointed to the place; and withdrew to the window. + +Mrs. Beaumont says, 'That the poor mother was prevailed upon to resign +her child wholly to the management of Lady Sforza, and her daughter +Laurana, who took her with them to their palace in Milan. + +'The tender parent, however, besought them to spare all unnecessary +severity; which they promised: but Laurana objected to Camilla's +attendance. She was thought too indulgent; and her servant Laura, as a +more manageable person, was taken in her place.' And O how cruelly, as +you shall hear, did they treat her! + +Father Marescotti, being obliged to visit a dying relation at Milan, was +desired by the marchioness to inform himself of the way her beloved +daughter was in, and of the methods taken with her, Lady Laurana having, +in her letters, boasted of both. The good Father acquainted Mrs. +Beaumont with the following particulars: + +'He was surprised to find a difficulty made of his seeing the lady: but, +insisting on it, he found her to be wholly spiritless, and in terror; +afraid to speak, afraid to look, before her cousin Laurana; yet seeming +to want to complain to him. He took notice of this to Laurana--O Father, +said she, we are in the right way, I assure you: when we had her first, +her chevalier, and an interview with him, were ever in her mouth; but now +she is in such order, that she never speaks a word of him. But what, +asked the compassionate Father, must she have suffered, to be brought to +this?--Don't you, Father, trouble yourself about that, replied the cruel +Laurana: the doctors have given their opinion, that some severity was +necessary. It is all for her good. + +'The poor lady expressed herself to him, with earnestness, after the +veil; a subject on which, it seems, they indulged her; urging, that the +only way to secure her health of mind, if it could be restored, was to +yield to her wishes. Lady Sforza said, that it was not a point that she +herself would press; but it was her opinion, that her family sinned in +opposing a divine dedication; and, perhaps, their daughter's malady might +be a judgment upon them for it.' + +The father, in his letter to Mrs. Beaumont, ascribes to Lady Sforza +self-interested motives for her conduct; to Laurana, envy, on account of +Lady Clementina's superior qualities: but nobody, he says, till now, +doubted Laurana's love of her.' + +Father Marescotti then gives a shocking instance of the barbarous +Laurana's treatment of the noble sufferer--All for her good--Wretch! how +my heart rises against her! Her servant Laura, under pretence of +confessing to her Bologna father, in tears, acquainted him with it. It +was perpetrated but the day before. + +'When any severity was to be exercised upon the unhappy lady, Laura was +always shut out of her apartment. Her lady had said something that she +was to be chidden for. Lady Sforza, who was not altogether so severe as +her daughter, was not at home. Laura listened in tears: she heard +Laurana in great wrath with Lady Clementina, and threaten her--and her +young lady break out to this effect--What have I done to you, Laurana, to +be so used?--You are not the cousin Laurana you used to be! You know I +am not able to help myself: why do you call me crazy, and frantic, +Laurana? [Vile upbraider, Lucy!] If the Almighty has laid his hand upon +me, should I not be pitied?-- + +'It is all for your good! It is all for your good, Clementina! You +could not always have spoken so sensibly, cousin. + +'Cruel Laurana! You loved me once! I have no mother, as you have. My +mother was a good mother: but she is gone! Or I am gone, I know not +which! + +'She threatened her then with the strait waistcoat, a punishment which +the unhappy lady was always greatly terrified at. Laura heard her beg +and pray; but, Laurana coming out, she was forced to retire. + +'The poor young lady apprehending her cruel cousin's return with the +threatened waistcoat, and with the woman that used to be brought in when +they were disposed to terrify her, went down and hid herself under a +stair-case, where she was soon discovered by her clothes, which she had +not been careful to draw in after her.' + +O, Lucy! how I wept! How insupportable to me, said Sir Charles, would +have been my reflections, had my conscience told me, that I had been the +wilful cause of the noble Clementina's calamity! + +After I had a little recovered, I read to myself the next paragraph, +which related, 'that the cruel Laurana dragged the sweet sufferer by her +gown, from her hiding-place, inveighing against her, threatening her: +she, all patient, resigned, her hands crossed on her bosom, praying for +ercy, not by speech, but by her eyes, which, however, wept not: and +causing her to be carried up to her chamber, there punished her with the +strait waistcoat, as she had threatened. + +'Father Marescotti was greatly affected with Laura's relation, as well as +with what he had himself observed: but on his return to Bologna, dreading +to acquaint her mother, for her own sake, with the treatment her +Clementina met with, he only said, he did not quite approve of it, and +advised her not to oppose the young lady's being brought home, if the +bishop and the general came into it: but he laid the whole matter before +the bishop, who wrote to the general to join with him out of hand, to +release their sister from her present bondage: and the general meeting +the bishop on a set day at Milan, for that purpose, the lady was +accordingly released. + +'A breach ensued upon it, with Lady Sforza and her daughter; who would +have it, that Clementina was much better for their management. They had +by terror broke her spirit, and her passiveness was reckoned upon as an +indication of amendment. + +'The marchioness being much indisposed, the young lady, attended by her +Camilla, was carried to Naples; where it is supposed she now is. Poor +young lady, how has she been hurried about!--But who can think of her +cousin Laurana without extreme indignation? + +'Mrs. Beaumont writes, that the bishop would fain have prevailed upon his +brother, the general, to join with him in an invitation to Sir Charles +Grandison to come over, as a last expedient, before they locked her up +either in a nunnery, or in some private house: but the general would by +no means come into it. + +'He asked, What was proposed to be the end of Sir Charles's visit, were +all that was wished from it to follow, in his sister's restored mind?--He +never, he said, would give his consent that she should be the wife of an +English Protestant. + +'The bishop declared, that he was far from wishing her to be so: but he +was for leaving that to after-consideration. Could they but restore his +sister to her reason, that reason, co-operating with her principles, +might answer all their hopes. + +'He might try his expedient, the general said, with all his heart: but he +looked upon the Chevalier Grandison to be a man of art; and he was sure +he must have entangled his sister by methods imperceptible to her, and to +them; but yet more efficacious to his ends, than an open declaration. +Had he not, he asked, found means to fascinate Olivia, and as many women +as he came into company with?--For his part, he loved not the Chevalier. +He had forced him by his intrepidity to be civil to him: but forced +civility was but a temporary one. It was his way to judge of causes by +the effects: and this he knew, that he had lost a sister, who would have +been a jewel in the crown of a prince; and would not be answerable for +consequences, if he and Sir Charles Grandison were once more to meet, be +it where it would. + +'Father Marescotti, however, joining, as the bishop writes, with him, and +the marchioness, in a desire to try this expedient; and being sure that +the marquis and Signor Jeronymo would not be averse to it, he took a +resolution to write over to him, as has been related.' + +This, Lucy, is the state of the unhappy case, as briefly and as clearly +as my memory will serve to give it. And what a rememberer, if I may make +a word, is the heart!--Not a circumstance escapes it. + +And now it remained for me to know of Sir Charles what answer he had +returned. + +Was not my situation critical, my dear? Had Sir Charles asked my +opinion, before he had taken his resolutions, I should have given it with +my whole heart, that he should fly to the comfort of the poor lady. But +then he would have shewn a suspense unworthy of Clementina; and a +compliment to me; which a good man, so circumstanced, ought not to make. + +My regard for him (yet what a poor affected word is regard!) was, +nevertheless, as strong as ever. Generosity, or rather justice, to +Clementina, and that so often avowed regard to him, pulled my heart two +ways.--I wanted to consider with myself for a few moments: I was desirous +to clear the conduct that I was to shew on this trying occasion, as well +of precipitance as of affectation; and my cousin Reeves just then coming +in for something she wanted, I took the opportunity to walk to the other +end of the room; and while a short complimental discourse passed between +them, 'Harriet Byron,' said I to myself, 'be not mean. Hast thou not the +example of a Clementina before thee? Her religion and her love, +combating together, have overturned the noble creature's reason. Tho +canst not be called to such a trial: but canst thou not shew, that if +thou wert, thou couldst have acted greatly, if not so greatly?--Sir +Charles Grandison is just: he ought to prefer to thee the excellent +Clementina. Priority of claim, compassion for the noble sufferer, merits +so superior!--I love him for his merits: shall I not love merits, nearly +as great, in one of my own sex? The struggle will cost thee something: +but go down, and try to be above thyself. Banished to thy retirement, to +thy pillow, thought I, be all the girl. Often have I contended for the +dignity of my sex; let me now be an example to myself, and not unworthy +in my own eyes (when I come to reflect) of an union, could it have been +effected, with a man whom a Clementina looked up to with hope.' + +My cousin being withdrawn, and Sir Charles approaching me, I attempted to +assume a dignity of aspect, without pride; and I spoke, while spirit was +high in me, and to keep myself up to it--My heart bleeds, sir, for the +distresses of your Clementina: [Yes, Lucy, I said your Clementina:] +beyond expression I admire the greatness of her behaviour; and most +sincerely lament her distresses. What, that is in the power of man, +cannot Sir Charles Grandison do? You have honoured me, sir, with the +title of sister. In the tenderness of that relation, permit me to say, +that I dread the effects of the general's petulance: I feel next for you +the pain that it must give to your humane heart to be once more +personally present to the woes of the inimitable Clementina: but I am +sure you did not hesitate a moment about leaving all your friends here in +England, and resolving to hasten over to try, at least, what can be done +for the noble sufferer. + +Had he praised me highly for this my address to him, it would have +looked, such was the situation on both sides, as if he had thought this +disinterested behaviour in me, an extraordinary piece of magnanimity and +self-denial; and, of consequence, as if he had supposed I had views upon +him, which he wondered I could give up. His is the most delicate of +human minds. + +He led me to my seat, and taking his by me, still holding my passive +hand--Ever since I have had the honour of Miss Byron's acquaintance, I +have considered her as one of the most excellent of women. My heart +demands alliance with hers, and hopes to be allowed its claim; though +such are the delicacies of situation, that I scarcely dare to trust +myself to speak upon the subject. From the first, I called Miss Byron my +sister; but she is more to me than the dearest sister; and there is a +more tender friendship that I aspire to hold with her, whatever may be +the accidents, on either side, to bar a further wish: and this I must +hope, that she will not deny me, so long as it shall be consistent with +her other attachments. + +He paused. I made an effort to speak: but speech was denied me. My +face, as I felt, glowed like the fire before me. + +My heart, resumed he, is ever on my lips. It is tortured when I cannot +speak all that is in it. Professions I am not accustomed to make. As I +am not conscious of being unworthy of your friendship, I will suppose it; +and further talk to you of my affairs and engagements, as that tender +friendship may warrant. + +Sir, you do me honour, was all I could say. + +I had a letter from the faithful Camilla. I hold not a correspondence +with her: but the treatment that her young lady met with, of which she +had got some general intimations, and some words that the bishop said to +her, which expressed his wishes, that I would make them one more visit at +Bologna, urged her to write, begging of me, for Heaven's sake, to go +over. But unless one of the family had written to me, and by consent of +others of it, what hope had I of a welcome, after I had been as often +refused, as I had requested while I was in Italy, to be admitted to the +presence of the lady, who was so desirous of one interview more?-- +Especially, as Mrs. Beaumont gave me no encouragement to go, but the +contrary, from what she observed of the inclinations of the family. + +Mrs. Beaumont is still of opinion, as in the conclusion of the letter +before you, that I should not go, unless the general and the marquis join +their requests to those of the marchioness, the bishop, and Father +Marescotti. But I had no sooner perused the bishop's letter, than I +wrote, that I would most cheerfully comply with his wishes: but that I +should be glad that I might not be under any obligation to go further +than Bologna; where I might have the happiness to attend my Jeronymo, as +well as his sister. + +I had a little twitch at my heart, Lucy. I was sorry for it: but my +judgment was entirely with him. + +And now, madam, you will wonder, that you see not any preparations for my +departure. All is prepared: I only wait for the company of one +gentleman, who is settling his affairs with all expedition to go with me. +He is an able, a skilful surgeon, who has had great practice abroad, and +in the armies: and having acquired an easy fortune, is come to settle in +his native country. My Jeronymo expresses himself dissatisfied with his +surgeons. If Mr. LOWTHER can be of service to him, how happy shall I +think myself! And if my presence can be a means to restore the noble +Clementina--But how dare I hope it?--And yet I am persuaded, that in her +case, and with such a temper of mind, (unused to hardship and opposition +as she had been,) the only way to recover her, would have been by +complying with her in every thing that her heart or head was earnestly +set upon: for what controul was necessary to a young lady, who never, +even in the height of her malady, uttered a wish or thought that was +contrary to her duty either to God, or her parents; nor yet to the honour +of her name; and, allow me, madam, to say, to the pride of her sex? + +I am under an obligation to go to Paris, proceeded he, from the will of +my late friend Mr. Danby. I shall stop there for a day or two only, in +order to put things in a way for my last hand, on my return from Italy. + +When I am in Italy, I shall, perhaps, be enabled to adjust two or three +accounts that stand out, in relation to the affairs of my ward. + +This day, at dinner, I shall see Mrs. Oldham, and her sons; and in the +afternoon, at tea, Mrs. O'Hara, and her husband, and Captain Salmonet. + +To-morrow, I hope for the honour of your company, madam, and Mr. and Mrs. +Reeves's at dinner; and be so good as to engage them for the rest of the +day. You must not deny me; because I shall want your influence upon +Charlotte, to make her fix Lord G----'s happy day, that I may be able to +see their hands united before I set out; as my return will be +uncertain-- + +Ah, Lucy! more twitches just then!-- + +Thursday next is the day fixed for the triple marriage of the Danby's. I +have promised to give Miss Danby to Mr. Galliard, and to dine with them +and their friends at Enfield. + +If I can see my Lord W---- and Charlotte happy before I go, I shall be +highly gratified. + +It is another of my wishes, to see my friend Beauchamp in England first, +and to leave him in possession of his father's love, and of his +mother-in-law's civility. Dr. Bartlett and he will be happy in each +other. I shall correspond with the doctor. He greatly admires you, +madam, and will communicate to you all you shall think worthy of your +notice, relating to the proceedings of a man who will always think +himself honoured by your inquiries after him. + +Ah, Lucy! Sir Charles Grandison then sighed. He seemed to look more +than he spoke. I will not promise for my heart, if he treats me with +more than the tenderness of friendship: if he gives me room to think that +he wishes--But what can he wish? He ought to be, he must be, +Clementina's: and I will endeavour to make myself happy, if I can +maintain the second place in his friendship: and when he offers me this, +shall I, Lucy, be so little as to be displeased with the man, who cannot +be to me all that I had once hoped he could be?--No!--He shall be the +same glorious creature in my eyes; I will admire his goodness of heart, +and greatness of mind; and I will think him entitled to my utmost +gratitude for the protection he gave me from a man of violence, and for +the kindness he has already shewn me. Is not friendship the basis of my +love? And does he not tender me that? + +Nevertheless, at the time, do what I could, I found a tear ready to +start. My heart was very untoward, Lucy; and I was guilty of a little +female turn. When I found the twinkling of my eyes would not disperse +the too ready drop, and felt it stealing down my cheek, I wiped it off-- +The poor Emily, said I--She will be grieved at parting with you. Emily +loves her guardian. + +And I love my ward. I once had a thought, madam, of begging your +protection of Emily: but as I have two sisters, I think she will be happy +under their wings, and in the protection of my good Lord L---- and the +rather, as I have no doubt of overcoming her unhappy mother, by making +her husband's interest a guaranty for her tolerable, if not good, +behaviour to her child. + +I was glad to carry my thoughts out of myself, as I may say, and from my +own concerns. We all, sir, said I, look upon Mr. Beauchamp as a +future-- + +Husband for Emily, madam, interrupted he?--It must not be at my motion. +My friend shall be entitled to share with me my whole estate; but I will +never seek to lead the choice of my WARD. Let Emily, some time hence, +find out the husband she can be happy with; Beauchamp the wife he can +love: Emily, if I can help it, shall not be the wife of any man's +convenience. Beauchamp is nice, and I will be as nice for my WARD. And +the more so, as I hope she herself wants not delicacy. There is a +cruelty in persuasion, where the heart rejects the person proposed, +whether the urger be parent or guardian. + +Lord bless me, thought I, what a man is this! + +Do you expect Mr. Beauchamp soon, sir? + +Every day, madam. + +And is it possible, sir, that you can bring all these things to bear +before you leave England, and go so soon? + +I fear nothing but Charlotte's whimsies. Have you, madam, any reason to +apprehend that she is averse to an alliance with Lord G----? His father +and aunt are very importunate for an early celebration. + +None at all, sir. + +Then I shall depend much upon yours, and Lord and Lady L----'s influence +over her. + +He besought my excuse for detaining my attention so long. Upon his +motion to go, my two cousins came in. He took even a solemn leave of me, +and a very respectful one of them. + +I had kept up my spirits to their utmost stretch: I besought my cousins +to excuse me for a few minutes. His departure from me was too solemn; +and I hurried up to my closet; and after a few involuntary sobs, a flood +of tears relieved me. I besought, on my knees, peace to the disturbed +mind of the excellent Clementina, calmness and resignation to my own, and +safety to Sir Charles. And then, drying my eyes at the glass, I went +down stairs to my cousins; and on their inquiries (with looks of deep +concern) after the occasion of my red eyes, I said, All is over! All is +over! my dear cousins. I cannot blame him: he is all that is noble and +good--I can say no more just now. The particulars you shall have from my +pen. + +I went up stairs to write: and except for one half hour at dinner, and +another at tea, I stopt not till I had done. + +And here, quite tired, uneasy, vexed with myself, yet hardly knowing why, +I lay down my pen.--Take what I have written, cousin Reeves: if you can +read it, do: and then dispatch it to my Lucy. + +But, on second thoughts, I will shew it to the two ladies, and Lord +L----, before it is sent away. They will be curious to know what passed +in a conversation, where the critical circumstances both of us were in, +required a delicacy which I am not sure was so well observed on my side, +as on his. + +I shall, I know, have their pity: but let nobody who pities not the noble +Clementina shew any for + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY NIGHT, APRIL 4. + + + +Miss Grandison came to me just as we had supped. She longed, she said, +to see me; but was prevented coming before, and desired to know what had +passed between her brother and me this morning. I gave her the letter, +which I had but a little while before concluded. He had owned, she said, +that he had breakfasted with me, and spoke of me to her, and Lord and +Lady L---- with an ardor, that gave them pleasure. She put my letter +into her bosom. I may, I hope, Harriet--If you please, madam, said I. + +If you please, madam, repeated she; and with that do-lo-rous accent too, +my Harriet!--My sister and I have been in tears this morning: Lord L---- +had much ado to forbear. Sir Charles will soon leave us. + +It can't be helped, Charlotte. Did you dine to-day in St. +James's-square? + +No, indeed!--My brother had a certain tribe with him; and the woman also. +It is very difficult, I believe, Harriet, for good people to forbear +doing sometimes more than goodness requires of them. + +Could you not, Charlotte, have sat at table with them for one hour or +two? + +My brother did not ask me. He did not expect it. He gives every body +their choice, you know. He told me last night who were to dine with him +to-day, and supposed I would choose to dine with Lady L----, or with you, +he was so free as to say. + +He did us an honour, which you thought too great a one. But if he had +asked you, Charlotte-- + +Then I should have bridled. Indeed, I asked him, if he did not over-do +it? + +What was his answer? + +Perhaps he might--But I, said he, may never see Mrs. Oldham again. I +want to inform myself of her future intentions, with a view (over-do it +again, Charlotte!) to make her easy and happy for life. Her children are +in the world. I want to give her a credit that will make her remembered +by them, as they grow up, with duty. I hope I am superior to forms. She +is conscious. I can pity her. She is a gentlewoman; and entitled to a +place at any man's table to whom she never was a servant. She never was +mine. + +And what, Miss Grandison, could you say in answer? asked I. + +What!--Why I put up my lip. + +Ungracious girl! + +I can't help it. That may become a man to do in such cases as this, that +would not a woman. + +Sir Charles wants not delicacy, my dear, said I. + +He must suppose, that I should have sat swelling, and been reserved: he +was right not to ask me--So be quiet, Harriet--And yet, perhaps, you +would be as tame to a husband's mistress, as you seem favourable to a +father's. + +She then put on one of her arch looks-- + +The cases differ, Charlotte--But do you know what passed between the +generous man, and the mortified woman and her children; mortified as they +must be by his goodness? + +Yes, yes; I had curiosity enough to ask Dr. Bartlett about it all. + +Pray, Charlotte-- + +Dr. Bartlett is favourable to every body, sinners as well as saints--He +began with praising the modesty of her dress, the humility of her +behaviour: he said, that she trembled and looked down, till she was +reassured by Sir Charles. Such creatures have all their tricks, Harriet. + +You, Charlotte, are not favourable to sinners, and hardly to saints. But +pray proceed. + +Why, he re-assured the woman, as I told you. And then proceeded to ask +many questions of the elder Oldham--I pitied that young fellow--to have a +mother in his eye, whose very tenderness to the young ones kept alive the +sense of her guilt. And yet what would she have been, had she not been +doubly tender to the innocents, who were born to shame from her fault? +The young man acknowledged a military genius; and Sir Charles told him, +that he would, on his return from a journey he was going to take, +consider whether he could not do him service in the way he chose. He +gave him, it seems, a brief lecture on what he should aim to be, and what +avoid, to qualify himself for a man of true honour; and spoke very +handsomely of such gentlemen of the army as are real gentlemen. The +young fellow, continued Miss Grandison, may look upon himself to be as +good as provided for, since my brother never gives the most distant hope +that is not followed by absolute certainty, the first opportunity, not +that offers, but which he can make. + +He took great notice of the little boys. He dilated their hearts, and +set them a prating; and was pleased with their prate. The doctor, who +had never seen him before in the company of children, applauded him for +his vivacity, and condescending talk to them. The tenderest father in +the world, he said, could not have behaved more tenderly, or shewed +himself more delighted with his own children, than he did with those +brats of Mrs. Oldham. + +Ah, Charlotte! And is it out of doubt, that you are the daughter of Lady +Grandison, and sister of Sir Charles Grandison?--Well, but I believe you +are--Some children take after the father, some after the mother!--Forgive +me, my dear. + +But I won't. I have a great mind to quarrel with you, Harriet. + +Pray don't; because I could neither help, nor can be sorry for, what I +said. But pray proceed. + +Why, he made presents to the children. I don't know what they were; nor +could the doctor tell me. I suppose very handsome ones; for he has the +spirit of a prince. He inquired very particularly after the circumstances +of the mother; and was more kind to her than many people would be to +their own mothers.--He can account for this, I suppose--though I cannot. +The woman, it is true, is of a good family, and so forth: but that +enhances her crime. Natural children abound in the present age. Keeping +is fashionable. Good men should not countenance such wretches.--But my +brother and you are charitable creatures!--With all my heart, child. +Virtue, however, has at least as much to say on one side of the question +as on the other. + +When the poor children are in the world, as your brother said--When the +poor women are penitents, true penitents--Your brother's treatment of +Mrs. Giffard was different. He is in both instances an imitator of the +Almighty; a humbler of the impenitent, and an encourager of those who +repent. + +Well, well; he is undoubtedly a good sort of young man; and, Harriet, you +are a good sort of young woman. Where much is given, much is required: +but I have not given me such a large quantity of charity, as either of +you may boast: and how can I help it?--But, however, the woman went away +blessing and praising him; and that, the doctor says, more with her eyes +than she was able to do in words. The elder youth departed in rapturous +reverence: the children hung about his knees, on theirs. The doctor will +have it, that it was without bidding--Perhaps so--He raised them by turns +to his arms, and kissed them.--Why, Harriet! your eyes glisten, child. +They would have run over, I suppose, had you been there! Is it, that +your heart is weakened with your present situation? I hope not. No, you +are a good creature! And I see that the mention of a behaviour greatly +generous, however slightly made, will have its force upon a heart so +truly benevolent as yours. You must be Lady Grandison, my dear: indeed +you must.--Well, but I must be gone. You dine with us to-morrow, my +brother says? + +He did ask me; and desired me to engage my cousins. But he repeated not +the invitation when he went away. + +He depends upon your coming: and so do we. He is to talk to me before +you, it seems: I can't tell about what: but by his hurrying on every +thing, it is plain he is preparing to leave us. + +He is, madam. + +'He is, madam!' And with that dejected air, and mendicant voice--Speak +up like a woman!--The sooner he sets out, if he must go, the sooner he +will return. Come, come, Harriet, you shall be Lady Grandison still--Ah! +and that sigh too! These love-sick folks have a language that nobody +else can talk to them in: and then she affectedly sighed--Is that right, +Harriet?--She sighed again--No, it is not: I never knew what a sigh was, +but when my father vexed my sister; and that was more for fear he should +one day be as cruel to me, than for her sake. We can be very generous +for others, Harriet, when we apprehend that one day we may want the same +pity ourselves. Our best passions, my dear, have their mixtures of +self-love. + +You have drawn a picture of human nature, Charlotte, that I don't like. + +It is a likeness for all that. + +She arose, snatched my hand, hurried to the door--Be with us, Harriet, +and cousin Reeves, and cousin Reeves, as soon as you can to-morrow. I +want to talk to you, my dear (to me) of an hundred thousand things before +dinner. Remember we dine early. + +Away she fluttered--Happy Miss Grandison! What charming spirits she has! + + + +LETTER XIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5. + + +Miss Jervois came to me this morning by six; impatient, as she said, to +communicate good news to me. I was in my closet writing. I could not +sleep. + +I have seen my mother, said she; and we are good friends. Was she ever +unkind to me, madam? + +Dear creature! said I, and clasped her to my bosom, you are a sweet girl! +Oblige me with the particulars. + +Let me, Lucy, give you, as near as I can recollect, the amiable young +creature's words and actions on this occasion. + +Sit down, my love, said I.--What! When I am talking of a reconciled +mother! And to dear Miss Byron!--No, indeed. + +She often held out one open hand, while the forefinger of the other, in +full action, patted it; as at other times both were spread, with pretty +wonder and delight: and thus she began:-- + +Why, you must know, it was about six o'clock yesterday afternoon, that my +mother and her husband, and Captain Salmonet, came. I was told of their +visit but two hours before: and when the coach stopped, and I at the +window saw them alight, I thought I should have fainted away. I would +have given half I was worth in the world to have been an hundred miles +off. + +Dr. Bartlett was there, and received them. My guardian was unexpectedly +engaged in answering a letter sent him by Lord W----, for which a +gentleman waited: but they had not been there a quarter of an hour, when +he entered, and made apologies to them in his usual gracious manner. +Never, the doctor says, did any body look so respectful as the major and +the captain; and they would have made apologies to my guardian, for their +last behaviour to him; but he would not let them. And my mother, the +doctor says, from the very first, behaved prettily. + +The moment she asked for me, my guardian himself condescended to come up +to me, and took my hand--Was not that very good of him?--My dear, said +he, as he led me down stairs, (and spoke so kindly,) don't tremble so: am +I not with you?--Your mother is very calm and composed: you must ask her +blessing. I shall ease your tender heart of every pang. I shall hint to +you what to do, and how to behave to the gentlemen, as occasions arise. + +He had no sooner said the words, but the drawing-room door gave way to +his hand, and I was in the room with him. + +Down on my knees dropt I--as I now do to you: but I could not speak. +Thus I did. [And she kissed my hand, and bowed her face upon it.] And +my mother raised me--You must raise me, madam--Yes, just so--And she +kissed me too, and wept on my neck; and called me pretty names; and +encouraged me, and said she loved me, as she loved her own soul--And I +was encouraged. + +My guardian then, with the air and manner of a gracious prince, took my +hand, and presented it first to the major, then to the captain; and they +each kissed my hand, and spoke in my praise, I can't tell how many fine +things. + +Major, said my guardian, when he presented me to him, you must excuse the +dear child's weakness of spirits: she wishes you all happiness on your +nuptials: she has let me know, that she is very desirous to do you +service for her mother's sake. + +The major swore by his soul, I was an angel!--Captain Salmonet said, +that, by his salvation, I was a charming young lady! + +My mother wept--O, Sir! said she to my guardian: and dropping down in a +chair by the window, not a word more could she speak. + +I ran to her, and clasped my arms about her. She wept the more: I wiped +her eyes with her own handkerchief: I told her, it went to my heart to +see her cry: I begged she would spare me this grief. + +She clasped her arms then about me, and kissed my cheek, and my forehead. +O, thought I, it is very good of you, my dear mother. + +Then came my guardian to us, and he kindly took my mother's hand, and +conducted her to the fire-side; and he led me, and placed me by her, at +the tea-table; and he made the major and the captain sit down by him: so +much graciousness in his countenance. O, madam! I shall be an idolater, +I am afraid. And he said, Emily, my dear, you will make tea for us. My +sister dined abroad, madam, to my mother.--Yes, sir, I will, said I: and +I was as lively as a bird. + +But before the servants came in, Let me tell you, madam, said he, what +Miss Jervois has proposed to me.--They were in silent expectation. + +She has desired that you, major, will accept from her, for your mutual +use, of an additional 100£. a year; which I shall order to be paid you +quarterly, during Mrs. O'Hara's life, not doubting but you will make her +as happy as it is in your power to make her. + +My mother bowed, coloured with gratitude, and looked obliged. + +And she begs of you, madam, turning to my mother, that you will accept, +as from the Major, another 100£. a year, for pin-money, which he, or +which you, madam, will draw upon me for; also quarterly, if you choose +not to trouble him to do it: for this 100£. a year must be appropriated +to your sole and separate use, madam; and not be subject to your +controul, Major O'Hara. + +Good God! sir! said the Major!--What a wretch was I, the last time I was +here!--There is no bearing of this! + +He got up, and went to the window: and the captain said, Blessed Jesu! +and something else, which I could not mind; for I was weeping like a +baby. + +What, sir! said my mother, 400£. a year! Do you mean so?--I do, madam-- +And, sir, to be so generously paid me my 100£. of it, as if I received it +not from my child, but from my husband!--Good God! How you overpower me, +sir! What shame, what remorse, do you strike into my heart! + +And my poor mother's tears ran down as fast as mine. + +O madam, said the dear girl to me, clasping her arms about me, how your +tender heart is touched!--It is well you were not there! + +Dr. Bartlett came in to tea. My guardian would not permit Antony, who +offered himself, to wait. Antony had been my own papa's servant, when my +mother was not so good. + +Nothing but blessings, nothing but looks and words of admiration and +gratitude, passed all the tea-time. How their hearts rejoiced, I +warrant!--Is it not a charming thing, madam, to make people's hearts +glad?--To be sure it is! How many hearts has my guardian rejoiced! You +must bid him be cross to me, or I shall not know what to do with myself! +--But then, if he was, I should only get by myself, and cry, and be angry +with myself, and think he could not be to blame. + +O my love, my Emily! said I, take care of your gratitude: that drew in +your true friend. + +Well, but how can it be helped, madam? Can a right heart be ungrateful? +--Dr. Bartlett says, There is no such thing as true happiness in this +life: and is it not better to be unhappy from good men and women, than +from bad?--Dear madam, why you have often made me unhappy, because of +your goodness to me; and because I knew, that I neither could deserve nor +return it. + +The dear prater went on--My guardian called me aside, when tea was over. +My Emily, said he, [I do love he should call me his Emily!--But all the +world is his Emily, I think,] Let me see what you will do with these two +notes; giving me two bank-notes of 25£. each.--Present pin-money and cash +may be wanted. We will suppose that your mother has been married a +quarter of a year. Her pin-money and the additional annuity may commence +from the 25th of December last. Let me, Emily, when they go away, see +the graceful manner in which you will dispose of the notes: and from Mr. +O'Hara's behaviour upon it, we shall observe whether he is a man with +whom your mother, if it be not her own fault, (now you have made it their +interest to be kind to each other,) may live well: but the motion be all +your own. + +How good this was! I could have kissed the hand that gave me the notes, +if I thought it would not have looked too free. + +I understand you, sir, said I. + +And when they went away, pouring out their very hearts in grateful joy, I +addressed myself to Mr. O'Hara. Sir, said I, it is proper that the +payment of the additional annuity should have a commencement. Let it be +from Christmas last. Accept of the first payment from my own hands--And +I gave him one 25£. note: and looking at my mother, with a look of duty, +for fear be should mistake, and discredit himself in the eyes of the +deepest discerner in the world, gave him the other. + +He looked upon first one, then upon the other note with surprise--And +then bowing to the ground to me, and to my guardian, he stept to my +mother, and presented them both to her. You, madam, said he, must speak: +I cannot as I ought: God send me with a whole heart out of this house! +He hurried out, and when he was in the hall, wiped his eyes, and sobbed +like a child, as one of the servants told my Anne. + +My mother looked upon one note as her husband had done, and upon the +other; and, lifting up her eyes, embraced me--And would have said +something to my guardian, but he prevented her, by saying--Emily will be +always dutiful to you, madam, and respectful to Mr. O'Hara: may you be +happy together! + +And he led her out--Was ever such a condescension! He led her out to her +husband, who, being a little recovered, was just about to give some money +to the servant, who was retiring from the offer.--Nobody, said my +guardian, graciously smiling, pays my servants but myself, Mr. O'Hara. +They are good people, and merit my favour. + +And he went to the very door with my mother. I could not. I ran back, +crying for joy, into the drawing-room, when they went out of it. I could +not bear myself. How could I, you know, madam?--Captain Salmonet all the +time wiped his eyes, shrugged his shoulders, lifted up his hands, and +cried out upon Jesu; and once or twice he crossed himself: but all the +time my guardian looked and acted, as if those actions and praises were +nothing to be proud of. + +When he came in to me, I arose, and threw myself at his feet; but could +only say, Thank you, sir, for your goodness to my mother. He raised me. +He sat down by me: See, child, (said he, and he took my hand: my heart +was sensible of the favour, and throbbed with joy,) what it is in the +power of people of fortune to do. You have a great one. Now your mother +is married, I have hopes of her. They will at least keep up appearances +to each other, and to the world. They neither of them want sense. You +have done an act of duty and benevolence both in one. The man who would +grudge them this additional 200£. a year out of your fortune, to make +your parent happy, shall not have my Emily--Shall he? + +Your Emily, your happy Emily, sir, has not, cannot have a heart that is +worth notice, if it be not implicitly guided by you.--This I said, madam: +and it is true. + +And did he not, said I, clasp his Emily to his generous bosom, when you +said so? + +No, madam; that would have been too great an honour: but he called me, +good child! and said, you shall never be put to pay me an implicit +regard: your own reason (and he called me child again) shall always be +the judge of my conduct to you, and direct your observances of my advice. +Something like this he said; but in a better manner than I can say it. + +He calls me oftener child, madam, than any thing else when we are alone +together; and is not quite so free, I think, at such times, in his +behaviour to me, (yet is vastly gracious, I don't know how,) as when we +are in company--Why is that? I am sure, I equally respect him, at one +time as at another--Do you think, madam, there is any thing in the +observation? Is there any reason for it?--I do love to study him, and to +find out the meaning of his very looks as well as words. Sir Charles +Grandison's heart is the book of heaven--May I not study it? + +Study it, my love! while you have an opportunity. But he will soon leave +us: he will soon leave England. + +So I fear: and I will love and pity the poor Clementina, whose heart is +so much wounded and oppressed. But my guardian shall be nobody's but +yours. I have prayed night and day, the first thing and the last thing, +ever since I have heard of Lady Clementina, that you, and nobody but you, +may be Lady Grandison: and I will continue my prayers.--But will you +forgive me: I always conclude them with praying, that you will both +consent to let the poor Emily live with you. + +Sweet girl! The poor Emily, said she?--I embraced her, and we mingled +tears, both our hearts full, each for the other; and each perhaps for +herself. + +She hurried away. I resumed my pen.--Run off what had passed, almost as +swift as thought. I quit it to prepare to attend my cousins to St. +James's-square. + + + +LETTER XIV + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY NIGHT, APRIL 5. + + +Miss Grandison, as I told you, took with her my letter of yesterday. As +soon as my cousin Reeves and I entered Sir Charles's house, the two +sisters conducted us into the drawing-room adjoining to the +dining-parlour, and congratulated me on the high compliment their brother +had made me, though in preference to themselves, and his +communicativeness and tender behaviour to me. Lord L---- joined us, and +he, having read the letter, congratulated me also--On what, Lucy?--Why on +the possibility, that if the unhappy Clementina should die; or if she +should be buried for life in a nunnery; or if she should be otherwise +disposed of; why then, that your Harriet may have room given her to hope +for a civil husband in Sir Charles Grandison, and half a heart: Is not +this the sum of these humbling congratulations? + +Sir Charles, when we came, was in his study with Mr. Lowther, the surgeon +whom he had engaged to go abroad with him: but he just came out to +welcome us; and then returned.--He had also with him two physicians, +eminent for their knowledge in disorders of the head, to whom he had +before communicated the case of the unhappy Clementina; and who brought +to him in writing their opinions of the manner in which she ought to be +treated, according to the various symptoms of her disorder. + +When he joined us, he told us this; and said very high things at the same +time in praise of the English surgeons; and particularly of this +gentleman: and added, that as nervous disorders were more frequent in +England, than in any country in the world, he was willing to hope, that +the English physicians were more skilful than those of any other country +in the management of persons afflicted with such maladies: and as he was +now invited over, he was determined to furnish himself with all the means +he could think of, that were likely to be useful in restoring and healing +friends so dear to him. + +Miss Grandison told him, that we were all in some apprehensions, on his +going to ltaly, of that fierce and wrong-headed man the general. Miss +Byron, said she, has told us, that Mrs. Beaumont advises not your going +over. + +The young Marquis della Porretta, said he, is hasty; but he is a gallant +man, and loves his sister. His grief on the unhappy situation they are +in demands allowance. It is natural in a heavy calamity to look out of +ourselves for the occasion. I have not any apprehensions from him, or +from any body else. The call upon me is a proper one. The issue must be +left where it ought to be left. If my visit will give comfort to any one +of the family, I shall be rewarded: If to more than one, happy--And, +whatever be the event, shall be easier in myself, than I could be, were I +not to comply with the request of the bishop, were he only to have made +it. + +Lord L---- asked Sir Charles, whether he had fixed the day of his setting +out? + +I have, said he, within this half hour. Mr. Lowther has told me, that he +shall be ready by the beginning of next week; and on Saturday sennight I +hope to be at Dover, on my way. + +We looked upon one another. Miss Grandison told me afterwards, that my +colour went and came several times, and that she was afraid for me. My +heart was indeed a little affected. I believe I must not think of taking +leave of him when he sets out. Ah, Lucy! Nine days hence!--Yet, in less +than nine days after that, I shall be embraced by the tenderest relations +that ever creature had to boast of. + +Sir Charles taking his sister aside, I want, said he, to say a few words +to you, Charlotte. They were about half an hour together; and then +returning, I am encouraged to think, said he, that Charlotte will give +her hand to Lord G----. She is a woman of honour, and her heart must +therefore go with it.--I have a request to make to her, before all you +our common friends--The Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, Lord G----, all +join in one suit: it is, that I may be allowed to give my sister to Lord +G---- before I leave England. + +I have told you, brother, that it is impossible, if you go away in nine +or ten days time. + +Sir Charles particularly requested my influence. I could have no doubt, +I said, but Miss Grandison would oblige her brother. + +She vehemently opposed so early a day. + +In a most affectionate manner, yet with an air of seriousness, he urged +his request. He said, that it was very proper for him to make some +dispositions of his affairs before he went abroad. He should leave +England with much more pleasure, if he saw his Charlotte the wife of a +man so worthy as Lord G----: Lord G----, said he, adores you: You +intended to be his: Resolve to oblige your brother, who, though he cannot +be happy himself, wishes to see you so. + +O, Sir Charles! said she, you ruin me by your solemnity, and by your +goodness. + +The subject is not a light one. I am greatly in earnest, Charlotte. I +have many affairs on my hands. My heart is in this company; yet my +engagements will permit me but few opportunities to enjoy it between this +and Tuesday next. If you deny me now, I must acquiesce: If you have more +than punctilio to plead, say you have; and I will not urge you farther. + +And so this is the last time of asking, sir? A little archly-- + +Not the last time of my Lord G----'s, but of mine--But I will not allow +you now to answer me lightly. If you can name a day before Tuesday, you +will greatly oblige me. I will leave you to consider of it. And he +withdrew. + +Every one then urged her to oblige her brother. Lady L---- very +particularly. She told her, that he was entitled to her compliance; and +that he had spoken to her on this subject in a still more earnest manner. +She should hardly be able to excuse her, she said, if the serious hint he +had given about settling his affairs before he went abroad, had not +weight with her. You know, Charlotte, continued she, that he can have no +motive but your good; and you have told me, that you intend to have Lord +G----; and that you esteem his father, his aunt, and every one of his +family, whom you have seen; and they are all highly pleased with you. +Settlements are already drawn: that my brother told you last night. +Nothing is wanting but your day. + +I wish he was in half the hurry to be married himself. + +So he would be, I dare say, if marriage were as much in his power, as it +is in yours. + +What a deuse, to be married to a man in a week's time, with whom I have +quarrelled every day for a fortnight past!--Pride and petulance must go +down by degrees, sister. A month, at least, is necessary, to bring my +features to such a placidness with him, as to allow him to smile in my +face. + +Your brother has hinted, Charlotte, said I, that he loves you for your +vivacity; and should still more, if you consulted time and occasion. + +He has withdrawn, sister, said Lord L----, with a resolution, if you deny +him, to urge you no further. + +I hate his peremptoriness. + +Has he not told you, Charlotte, said I, and that in a manner so serious, +as to affect every body, that there is a kind of necessity for it? + +I don't love this Clementina, Harriet: all this is owing to her. + +Just then a rapping at the door signified visitors; and Emily ran in-- +Lord G----, the Earl, and Lady Gertrude, believe me! + +Miss Grandison changed colour. A contrivance of my brother's!--Ah, Lord! +Now shall I be beset!--I will be sullen, that I may not be saucy. + +Sullen you can't be, Charlotte, said Lady L----: but saucy you can. +Remember, however, my brother's earnestness, and spare Lord G---- before +his father and aunt, or you will give me, and every body, pain. + +How can I? Our last quarrel is not made up: but advise him not to be +either impertinent or secure. + +Immediately enter'd Sir Charles, introducing the Earl and Lady Gertrude. +After the first compliments, Pray, Sir Charles, said Miss Grandison, +drawing him aside, towards me, and whispering, tell me truly: Did you not +know of this visit? + +I invited them, Charlotte, whispered he. I meant not however to surprise +you. If you comply, you will give me great pleasure: if you do not, I +will not be dis-pleased with my sister. + +What can I do? Either be less good to me, sir, or less hurrying. + +You have sacrificed enough to female punctilio, Charlotte. Lord G---- +has been a zealous courtier. You have no doubt of the ardor of his +passion, nor of your own power. Leave the day to me. Let it be Tuesday +next. + +Good heaven! I can't bear you, after such a--and she gasped, as if for +breath; and he turning from her to me, she went to Lady Gertrude, who, +rising, took her hand, and withdrew with her into the next room. + +They staid out till they were told dinner was served: and when they +returned, I thought I never saw Miss Grandison look so lovely. A +charming flush had overspread her cheeks: a sweet consciousness in her +eyes gave a female grace to her whole aspect, and softened, as I may say, +the natural majesty of her fine features. + +Lord G---- looked delighted, as if his heart were filled with happy +presages. The earl seemed no less pleased. + +Miss Grandison was unusually thoughtful all dinnertime: she gave me great +joy to see her so, in the hope, that when the lover becomes the husband, +the over-lively mistress will be sunk in the obliging wife.--And yet, +now and then, as the joy in my lord's heart overflowed at his lips, I +could observe that archness rising to her eye, that makes one both love +and fear her. + +After dinner, the Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude desired a conference +with Sir Charles and Lady L----. They were not long absent, when Sir +Charles came in, and carried out Miss Grandison to them. Lord G----'s +complexion varied often. + +Sir Charles left them together, and joined us. We were standing; and he +singled me out--I hope, madam, said he, that Charlotte may be prevailed +upon for Tuesday next: but I will not urge it further. + +I thought that he was framing himself to say something particular to me, +when Lady L---- came in, and desired him and me to step to her sister, +who had retired from the Earl and Lady Gertrude, by consent. + +Ah, my Harriet! said she, pity me, my dear!--Debasement is the child of +pride!--Then turning to Sir Charles, I acknowledge myself overcome, said +she, by your earnestness, as you are so soon to leave us; and by the +importunities of the Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, and my sister-- +Unprepared in mind, in clothes, I am resolved to oblige the best of +brothers. Do you, sir, dispose of me as you think fit. + +My sister consents, sir, said Lady L----, for next Tuesday. + +Cheerfully, I hope. If Charlotte balances whether, if she took more +time, she should have Lord G---- at all, let her take it. Lord L----, in +my absence, will be to her all that I wish to be, when she shall +determine. + +I balance not, sir: but I thought to have had a month's time, at least, +to look about me, and having treated Lord G---- too flippantly, to give +him by degrees some fairer prospects of happiness with me, than hitherto +he has had. + +Sir Charles embraced her. She was all his sister, he said. Let the +alteration now begin. Lord G---- would rejoice in it, and consider all +that had passed, as trials only of his love for her. The obliging wife +would banish from his remembrance the petulant mistress. And now, allow +me, my dear sister, to present you to the Earl and Lady Gertrude. + +He led her in to them. Lady L---- took my hand, and led me in also.-- +Charlotte, my lord, yields to yours and Lady Gertrude's importunities. +Next Tuesday will give the two families a near and tender relation to +each other. + +The earl saluted her in a very affectionate manner: so did Lady Gertrude; +who afterwards ran out for her nephew: and, leading him in, presented him +to Miss Grandison. + +She had just time to whisper me, as he approached her; Ah, Harriet! now +comes the worst part of the show.--He kneeled on one knee, kissed her +hand: but was too much overjoyed to speak; for Lady Gertrude had told +him, as she led him in, that Tuesday was to be his happy day. + +It is impossible, Lucy, but Sir Charles Grandison must carry every point +he sets his heart upon. When he shall appear before the family of +Porretta in Italy, who will be able to withstand him?--Is not his +consequence doubled, more than doubled, since he was with them? The man +whose absence they requested, they now invite to come among them. They +have tried every experiment to restore their Clementina: he has a noble +estate now in possession. The fame of his goodness is gone out to +distant countries. O my dear! All opposition must fly before him. And +if it be the will of Heaven to restore Clementina, all her friends must +concur in giving her to him upon the terms he has proposed; and from +which, having himself proposed them, Sir Charles Grandison cannot recede. + +His heart, it is evident, is at Bologna. Well, and so it ought to be. +And yet I could not forbear being sensibly touched by the following +words, which I overheard him say to Lord L----, in answer to something my +lord said to him: + +'I am impatient to be abroad. Had I not waited for Mr. Lowther, the last +letters I received from Italy should have been answered in person.' + +But as honour, compassion, love, friendship (still nobler than love!) +have demands upon him, let him obey the call. He has set me high in his +esteem. Let me be worthy of his friendship. Pangs I shall occasionally +feel; but who that values one person above the rest of the world, does +not? + +Sir Charles, as we sat at tea, mentioned his cousin Grandison to Lord +L----: It is strange, my lord, said he, that we hear nothing of our +cousin Everard, since he was seen at White's. But whenever he emerges, +Charlotte, if I am absent, receive him without reproaches: yet I should +be glad that he could have rejoiced with us. Must I leave England, and +not see him? + +It has been, it seems, the way of this unhappy man, to shut himself up +with some woman in private lodgings, for fear his cousin should find him +out; and in two or three months, when he has been tired of his wicked +companion, emerge, as Sir Charles called it, to notice, and then seek for +his cousin's favour and company, and live for as many more months in a +state of contrition. And Sir Charles, in his great charity, believes, +that till some new temptation arises, he is in earnest in his penitence; +and hopes, that in time he will see his errors. + +Oh, Lucy! What a poor creeping, mean wretch is a libertine, when one +looks down upon him, and up to such a glorious creature as Sir Charles +Grandison! + +Sir Charles was led to talk of his engagement for to-morrow, on the +triple marriage in the Danby family. We all gave him joy of the happy +success that had rewarded his beneficent spirit, with regard to that +family. He gave us the characters of the three couples greatly to their +advantage, and praised the families on both sides, which were to be so +closely united on the morrow; not forgetting to mention kindly honest Mr. +Sylvester the attorney. + +He told us, that he should set out on Friday early for Windsor, in order +to attend Lord W---- in his first visit to Mansfield-house. You, Lady +L----, will have the trouble given you, said he, of procuring to be +new-set the jewels of the late Lady W---- for a present to the future +bride. My lord shewed them to me (among a great number of other valuable +trinkets of his late wife's) in my last return from the Hall. They are +rich, and will do credit to his quality. You, my Lord L----, you, my +sisters, will be charmed with your new aunt, and her whole family. I +have joy on the happiness in prospect that will gild the latter days of +my mother's brother; and at the same time be a means of freeing from +oppression an ancient and worthy family. + +Tears were in every eye. There now, thought I, sits this princely man, +rejoicing every one who sees him, and hears him speak: But where will he +be nine days hence? And whose this day twelvemonth? + +He talked with particular pleasure of the expected arrival of his +Beauchamp. He pleased himself, that he should leave behind him a man who +would delight every body, and supply to his friends his absence.--What a +character did he give, and Dr. Bartlett confirm, of that amiable friend +of his! + +How did the Earl and Lady Gertrude dwell upon all he said! They prided +themselves on the relation they were likely so soon to stand in to so +valuable a man. + +In your last letter, you tell me, Lucy, that Mr. Greville has the +confidence to throw out menaces against this excellent man--Sorry wretch! +--How my heart rises against him!--He--But no more of such an earth-born +creature. + + + +LETTER XV + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +THURSDAY MORNING, APRIL 6. + + +Miss Grandison, accompanied by Miss Jervois, has just left us. Lady +L---- has undertaken, she says, to set all hands at work, to have things +in tolerable order, early as the day is, for Tuesday next. Miss +Grandison (would you believe it?) owns, that she wants spirits to order +anything. What must be the solemnity of that circumstance, when near, +that shall make Charlotte Grandison want spirits? + +She withdrew with me to my apartment. She threw herself into a chair: +'Tis a folly to deny it, Harriet, but I am very low, and very silly: I +don't like next Tuesday by any means. + +Is your objection only to the day, my dear? + +I do not like the man. + +Is there any man whom you like better? + +I can't say that neither. But this brother of mine makes me think +contemptibly of all other men. I would compound for a man but half so +good--Tender, kind, humane, polite, and even cheerful in affliction!--O, +Harriet! where is there such another man? + +No where.--But you don't by marriage lose, on the contrary, you further +engage and secure, the affection of this brother. You will have a +good-natured worthy man for your husband; a man who loves you, and you +will have your brother besides. + +Do you think I can be happy with Lord G----? + +I am sure you may, if it be not your own fault. + +That's the thing: I may, perhaps, bear with the man; but I cannot honour +him. + +Then don't vow to honour him. Don't meet him at the altar. + +Yet I must. But I believe I think too much: and consideration is no +friend to wedlock.--Would to Heaven that the same hour that my hand and +Lord G----'s were joined, yours and my brother's were also united! + +Ah, Miss Grandison! If you love me, try to wean me; and not to encourage +hopes of what never, never can be. + +Dear creature! You will be greater than Clementina, and that is greater +than the greatest, if you can conquer a passion, that overturned her +reason. + +Do not, my Charlotte, make comparisons in which the conscience of your +Harriet tells her she must be a sufferer. There is no occasion for me to +despise myself, in order to hold myself inferior to Clementina. + +Well, you are a noble creature!--But, the approaching Tuesday--I cannot +bear to think of it. + +Dear Charlotte! + +And dear Harriet too!--But the officiousness, the assiduities, of this +trifling man are disgustful to me. + +You don't hate him?-- + +Hate him--True--I don't hate him--But I have been so much accustomed to +treat him like a fool, that I can't help thinking him one. He should not +have been so tame to such a spirit as mine. He should have been angry +when I played upon him. I have got a knack of it, and shall never leave +it off, that's certain. + +Then I hope he will be angry with you. I hope that he will resent your +ill-treatment of him. + +Too late, too late to begin, Harriet. I won't take it of him now. He +has never let me see that his face can become two sorts of features. The +poor man can look sorrowful; that I know full well: but I shall always +laugh when he attempts to look angry. + +You know better, Charlotte. You may give him so much cause for anger, +that you may make it habitual to him, and then would be glad to see him +pleased. Men have an hundred ways that women have not to divert +themselves abroad, when they cannot be happy at home. This I have heard +observed by-- + +By your grandmother, Harriet? Good old lady! In her reign it might be +so; but you will find, that women now have as many ways to divert +themselves abroad as the men. Have you not observed this yourself in one +of your letters to Lucy? Ah! my dear! we can every hour of the +twenty-four be up with our monarchs, if they are undutiful. + +But Charlotte Grandison will not, cannot-- + +Why that's true, my dear--But I shall not then be a Grandison. Yet the +man will have some security from my brother's goodness. He is not only +good himself, but he makes every one related to him, either from fear or +shame, good likewise. But I think that when one week or fortnight is +happily over, and my spirits are got up again from the depression into +which this abominable hurry puts them, I could fall upon some inventions +that would make every-one laugh, except the person who might take it into +his head that he may be a sufferer by them: and who can laugh, and be +angry, in the same moment? + +You should not marry, Charlotte, till this wicked vein of humour and +raillery is stopt. + +I hope it will hold me till fifty. + +Don't say so, Charlotte--Say rather that you hope it will hold you so +long only as it may be thought innocent or inoffensive, by the man whom +it will be your duty to oblige, and so long as it will bring no discredit +to yourself. + +Your servant, Goody Gravity!--But what must be, must. The man is bound +to see it. It will be all his own seeking. He will sin with his eyes +open. I think he has seen enough of me to take warning. All that I am +concerned about is for the next week or fortnight. He will be king all +that time--Yet, perhaps not quite all neither. And I shall be his +sovereign ever after, or I am mistaken. What a deuse, shall a woman +marry a man of talents not superior to her own, and forget to reward +herself for her condescension?--But, high-ho!--There's a sigh, Harriet. +Were I at home, I would either sing you a song, or play you a tune, in +order to raise my own heart. + +She besought me then, with great earnestness, to give her my company till +the day arrived, and on the day. You see, said she, that my brother has +engagements till Monday. Dear creature! support, comfort me--Don't you +see my heart beat through my stays?--If you love me, come to me to-morrow +to breakfast; and leave me not for the whole time--Are you not my sister, +and the friend of my heart? I will give you a month for it, upon demand. +Come, let us go down; I will ask the consent of both your cousins. + +She did: and they, with their usual goodness to me, cheerfully complied. + +Sir Charles set out this morning to attend the triple marriages; dressed +charmingly, his sister says. I have made Miss Grandison promise to give +me an account of such particulars, as, by the help of Saunders, and Sir +Charles's own relation, she can pick up. All we single girls, I believe, +are pretty attentive to such subjects as these; as what one day may be +our own concern. + + + +LETTER XVI + +MISS GRANDISON, TO MISS BYRON +THURSDAY NIGHT. + + +Unreasonable, wicked, cruel Byron! To expect a poor creature, so near +her execution, to write an account of other people's behaviour in the +same tremendous circumstances! The matrimonial noose has hung over my +head for some time past; and now it is actually fitted to my devoted +neck.--Almost choaked, my dear!--This moment done hearing read, the +firsts, seconds, thirds, fourths, to near a dozen of them--Lord be +merciful to us!--And the villanous lawyer rearing up to me his spectacled +nose, as if to see how I bore it! Lord G---- insulting me, as I thought, +by his odious leers: Lady Gertrude simpering; little Emily ready to bless +herself--How will the dear Harriet bear these abominable recitatives?-- +But I am now up stairs from them all, in order to recover my breath, and +obey my Byron. + +Well, but what am I now to say about the Danbys? Richard has made his +report; Sir Charles has told us some things: yet I will only give you +heads: make out the rest. + +In the first place, my brother went to Mrs. Harrington's (Miss Danby's +aunt:) she did every thing but worship him. She had with her two young +ladies, relations of her late husband, dainty damsels of the city, who +had procured themselves to be invited, that they might see the man, whom +they called, a wonder of generosity and goodness. Richard heard one of +them say to the other, Ah, sister, this is a king of a man! What pity +there are not many such! But, Harriet, if there were a hundred of them, +we would not let one of them go into the city for a wife; would we, my +dear? + +Sir Charles praised Miss Danby. She was full of gratitude; and of +humility, I suppose. Meek, modest, and humble, are qualities of which +men are mighty fond in women. But matrimony, and a sense of obligation, +are equally great humblers even of spirits prouder than that of Miss +Danby; as your poor Charlotte can testify. + +The young gentlemen, with the rest, were to meet Sir Charles, the bride, +and these ladies, at St. Helen's, I think the church is called. + +As if wedlock were an honour, the Danby girl, in respect to Sir Charles, +was to be first yoked. He gave her away to the son Galliard. The father +Galliard gave his daughter to Edward Danby: but first Mr. Hervey gave his +niece to the elder. + +One of the brides, I forget which, fainted away; another half-fainted-- +Saved by timely salts: the third, poor soul, wept heartily--as I suppose +I shall do on Tuesday. + +Never surely was there such a matrimony promoter, as my brother. God +give me soon my revenge upon him in the same way! + +The procession afterwards was triumphant--Six coaches, four silly souls +in each; and to Mr. Poussin's, at Enfield, they all drove. There they +found another large company. + +My brother was all cheerfulness; and both men and women seemed to contend +for his notice: but they were much disappointed at finding he meant to +leave them early in the evening. + +One married lady, the wife of Sir ---- somebody, (I am very bad at +remembering the names of city knights,) was resolved, she said, since +they could not have Sir Charles to open the ball, to have one dance +before dinner with the handsomest man in England. The music was +accordingly called in; and he made no scruple to oblige the company on a +day so happy. + +Do you know, Harriet, that Sir Charles is supposed to be one of the +finest dancers in England? Remember, my dear, that on Tuesday--[Lord +help me! I shall be then stupid, and remember nothing]--you take him out +yourself: and then you will judge for yourself of his excellence in this +science--May we not call dancing a science? If we judge by the few who +perform gracefully in it, I am sure we may; and a difficult one too. + +O!--And remember, Harriet, that you get somebody to call upon him to +sing--You shall play--I believe I shall forget, in that only agreeable +moment of the day, (for you have a sweet finger, my love,) that I am the +principal fool in the play of the evening. + +O, Harriet,--how can I, in the circumstances I am in, write any more +about these soft souls, and silly? Come to me by day-dawn, and leave me +not till--I don't know when. Come, and take my part, my dear: I shall +hate this man: he does nothing but hop, skip, and dance about me, grin +and make mouths; and every body upholds him in it. + +Must this (I hope not!) be the last time that I write myself to you + +CHARLOTTE GRANDISON? + + + +LETTER XVII + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +ST. JAMES'S-SQUARE, FRIDAY MORNING, APRIL 7. + + +Sir Charles Grandison set out early this morning for Lord W----'s, in his +way to Lady Mansfield's. I am here with this whimsical Charlotte. + +Lady L----, Miss Jervois, myself, and every female of the family, or who +do business for both sisters out of it, are busy in some way or other, +preparatory to the approaching Tuesday. + +Miss Grandison is the only idle person. I tell her, she is affectedly +so. + +The earl has presented her, in his son's name, with some very rich +trinkets. Very valuable jewels are also bespoke by Lord G----, who takes +Lady L----'s advice in every thing; as one well read in the fashions. +New equipages are bespoke; and gay ones they will be. + +Miss Grandison confounded me this morning by an instance of her +generosity. She was extremely urgent with me to accept, as her third +sister, of her share of her mother's jewels. You may believe, that I +absolutely refused such a present. I was angry with her; and told her, +she had but one way of making it up with me; and that was, that since she +would be so completely set out from her lord, she would unite the two +halves, by presenting hers to Lady L----, who had refused jewels from her +lord on her marriage; and who then would make an appearance, +occasionally, as brilliant as her own. + +She was pleased with the hint; and has actually given them (unknown to +any body but me) to her jeweller; who is to dispose them in such figures, +as shall answer those she herself is to have, which Lady L---- has not. +And by this contrivance, which will make them in a manner useless to +herself, she thinks she shall oblige her sister, however reluctant, to +accept of them. + +Lady Gertrude is also preparing some fine presents for her niece elect: +but neither the delighted approbation of the family she is entering into, +nor the satisfaction expressed by her own friends, give the perverse +Charlotte any visible joy, nor procure for Lord G---- the distinction +which she ought to think of beginning to pay him. But, for his part, +never was man so happy. He would, however, perhaps, fare better from +her, if he could be more moderate in the outward expression of his joy; +which she has taken it into her head to call an insult upon her. + +She does not, however, give the scope she did before the day was fixed, +to her playful captiousness. She is not quite so arch as she was. +Thoughtfulness, and a seeming carelessness of what we are employed in, +appear in her countenance. She saunters about, and affects to be +diverted by her harpsichord only. What a whimsical thing is Charlotte +Grandison! But still she keeps Lord G---- at distance. I told her an +hour ago, that she knows not how to condescend to him with that grace +which is so natural to her in her whole behaviour to every body else. + +I have been talking to Dr. Bartlett, about Sir Charles's journey to +Italy. Nobody knows, he says, what a bleeding heart is covered by a +countenance so benign and cheerful. Sir Charles Grandison, said he, has +a prudence beyond that of most young men; but he has great sensibilities. + +I take it for granted, sir, that he will for the future be more an +Italian than Englishman. + +Impossible, madam! A prudent youth, by travelling, reaps this advantage +--From what he sees of other countries, he learns to prefer his own. An +imprudent one the contrary. Sir Charles's country is endeared to him by +his long absence from it. Italy in particular is called the garden of +Europe; but it is rather to be valued for what it was, and might be, than +what it is. I need not tell a lady who has read and conversed as you +have done, to what that incomparable difference is owing. Sir Charles +Grandison is greatly sensible of it. He loves his country, with the +judgment of a wise man; and wants not the partiality of a patriot. + +But, doctor, he has offered, you know, to reside--There I stopt. + +True, madam--And he will not recede from his offers, if they are claimed. +But this uncertainty it is that disturbs him. + +I pity my patron, proceeded he. I have often told you he is not happy. +What has indiscretion to expect, when discretion has so much to suffer? +His only consolation is, that he has nothing to reproach himself with. +Inevitable evils he bears as a man should. He makes no ostentation of +his piety: but, madam, Sir Charles Grandison is a CHRISTIAN. + +You need not, sir, say more to me to exalt him: and, let me add, that I +have no small pleasure in knowing that Clementina is a lady of strict +piety, though a Roman Catholic. + +And let me assure you, madam, that Sir Charles's regard for Miss Byron +(his more than regard for her, why should I not say? since every body +sees it) is founded upon her piety, and upon the amiable qualities of her +mind. Beauty, madam, is an accidental and transient good. No man better +knows how to distinguish between admiration and love, than my patron. +His virtue is virtue upon full proof, and against sensibilities, that it +is heroic to overcome. Lady Olivia knows this: and here I must +acknowledge myself a debtor to you for three articles out of your ten. I +hope soon to discharge the obligation. + +Your own time, doctor: but I must say, that whenever you give me Lady +Olivia's story, I shall be pained, if I find that a Clementina is +considered by a beauty of an unhappier turn, as her rival in the love of +Sir Charles Grandison. + +Lady Olivia, madam, admires him for his virtue; but she cannot, as he has +made it his study to do, divide admiration from love. What offers has +she not refused?--But she declares, that she had rather be the friend of +Sir Charles Grandison, than the wife of the greatest prince on earth. + +This struck me: Have not I said something like it? But surely with +innocence of heart. But here the doctor suggests, that Olivia has put +his virtue to the proof: Yet I hope not. + +The FRIEND, Dr. Bartlett!--I hope that no woman who is not quite given up +to dishonour, will pollute the sacred word, by affixing ideas to it, that +cannot be connected with it. A friend is one of the highest characters +that one human creature can shine in to another. There may be love, that +though it has no view but to honour, yet even in wedlock, ripens not into +friendship. How poor are all such attachments! How much beneath the +exalted notion I have of that noblest, that most delicate union of souls! +You wonder at me, Dr. Bartlett. Let me repeat to you, sir, (I have it by +heart,) Sir Charles Grandison's tender of friendship to the poor Harriet +Byron, which has given me such exalted ideas of this disinterested +passion; but you must not take notice that I have. I repeated those +words, beginning, 'My heart demands alliance with hers'--and ending with +these--'So long as it shall be consistent with her other attachments.'* + + +* See page 110 of this Volume. + + +The doctor was silent for a few moments. At last, What a delicacy is +there in the mind of this excellent man! Yet how consistent with the +exactest truth! The friendship he offers you, madam, is indeed +friendship. What you have repeated can want no explanation: yet it is +expressive of his uncertain situation. It is-- + +He stopt of a sudden. + +Pray, doctor, proceed: I love to hear you talk. + +My good young lady!--I may say too much. Sir Charles in these nice +points must be left to himself. It is impossible for any body to express +his thoughts as he can express them. But let me say, that he justly, as +well as greatly, admires Miss Byron. + +My heart rose against myself. Bold Harriet, thought I, how darest thou +thus urge a good man to say more than he has a mind to say of the secrets +of a friend, which are committed to his keeping? Content thyself with +the hopes, that the worthiest man in the world would wish to call thee +his, were it not for an invincible obstacle. And noble, thrice noble +Clementina, be thine the preference even in the heart of Harriet Byron, +because justice gives it to thee; for, Harriet, hast thou not been taught +to prefer right and justice to every other consideration? And, wouldst +thou abhor the thought of a common theft, yet steal an heart that is the +property, and that by the dearest purchase, of another? + + + +LETTER XVIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +FRIDAY EVENING. + + +We have had a great debate about the place in which the nuptial ceremony +is to be performed. + +Charlotte, the perverse Charlotte, insisted upon not going to church. + +Lord G---- dared not to give his opinion; though his father and Lady +Gertrude, as well as every other person, were against her. + +Lord L---- said, that if fine ladies thought so slightly of the office, +as that it might be performed anywhere, it would be no wonder, if fine +gentlemen thought still more slightly of the obligation it laid them +under. + +Being appealed to, I said, that I thought of marriage as one of the most +solemn acts of a woman's life. + +And if of a woman's, of a man's, surely, interrupted Lady L----. If your +whimsey, Charlotte, added she, arises from modesty, you reflect upon your +sister; and, what is worse, upon your mother. + +Charlotte put up her pretty lip, and was unconvinced. + +Lady Gertrude laid a heavy hand upon the affectation; yet admires her +niece-elect. She distinguished between chamber-vows and church-vows. +She mentioned the word decency. She spoke plainer, on Charlotte's +unfeeling perverseness. If a bride meant a compliment by it to the +bridegroom, that was another thing; but then let her declare as much; and +that she was in an hurry to oblige him. + +Charlotte attempted to kill her by a look--She gave a worse to Lord +G----. And why, whispered she to him, as he sat next her, must thou shew +all thy teeth, man?--As Lady Gertrude meant to shame her, I thought I +could as soon forgive that lady, as her who was the occasion of the +freedom of speech. + +But still she was perverse: she would not be married at all, she said, if +she were not complied with. + +I whispered her, as I sat on the other side of her, I wish, Charlotte, +the knot were tied: till then, you will not do even right things, but in +a wrong manner. + +Dr. Bartlett was not present: he was making a kind visit to my cousins +Reeves. When he came in, the debate was referred to him. He entered +into it with her, with so much modesty, good sense, propriety, and +steadiness, that at last the perverse creature gave way: but hardly would +neither, had he not assured her, that her brother would be entirely +against her; and that he himself must be excused performing the sacred +office, but in a sacred place. She has set her heart on the doctor's +marrying her. + +The Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude, as also Lord and Lady L----, went +away, not dissatisfied with Charlotte's compliance: she is the most +ungraciously graceful young woman I ever knew in her compliances. But +Lord G---- was to pay for all: she and I had got together in the study: +in bolted Lord G----, perhaps with too little ceremony. She coloured-- +Hey-day, sir! Who expected you? His countenance immediately fell. He +withdrew precipitately. Fie, Charlotte! said I, recollect yourself--and +rising, stept to the door, My lord--calling after him. + +He came back; but in a little ferment--I hoped, I hoped, madam, as you +were not in your own apartment, that I might, that I might have been-- + +Wherever ladies are by themselves, it is a lady's apartment, my lord, +said she, with a haughtiness that sat better on her features, than they +would upon almost any other woman's. + +He looked, as if he knew not whether he should stay or go. Sit down, my +lord, said I; we are not particularly engaged. He came nearer, his hat +under his arm, bowing to her, who sat as stately as a princess on her +throne: but yet looked disobliged. You give yourself pretty airs, my +lord--don't you? + +Pretty airs, madam!--Pretty airs!--By my soul, I think, madam--And with +such a glow in your face, madam--Taking his laced hat from under his arm, +and, with an earnest motion, swinging it backwards and forwards, as +unknowing what he did-- + +What, sir, am I to be buffetted, sir?-- + +He put his hat under his arm again--Buffetted, madam!--Would to +Heaven-- + +What has Heaven to do with your odd ways, Lord G----? + +I beg pardon for intruding, madam--But I thought-- + +That you had a privilege, sir--But marriage itself, sir, shall not give +you a privilege to break into my retirements. You thought, sir--You +could not think--So much the worse if you did-- + +If I have really offended--I will be more circumspect for the future--I +beg pardon, madam--Miss Byron, I hope, will forgive me too. + +He was going, in great discomposure, and with an air of angry humility. + +Charlotte, whispered I, don't be silly-- + +Come, come, now you have broke in upon us, you may stay--But another +time, when you know me to be retired with a friend so dear to me, let it +enter into your head, that no third person, unsent for, can be welcome. + +Poor man!--How he loves her!--His countenance changed at once to the +humble placid: he looked as if he had rather be in fault than she. + +Oh! how little did she make him look! + +But he has often, as well as in this instance, let her see her power over +him. I am afraid she will use it. I now see it is and will be his +misfortune that she can vex him without being vexed herself: and what may +he expect, who can be treated with feigned displeasure, which, while it +seems to be in earnest to him, will be a jest to his wife? + +I was very angry with her, when we were alone; and told her, that she +would be an enemy, I was afraid, of her own happiness. But she only +laughed at me: Happiness, my dear! said she: that only is happiness which +we think so. If I can be as happy in my way, as you can be in yours, +shall I not pursue it? Your happiness, child, is in the still life. I +love not a dead calm: now a tempest, now a refreshing breeze, I shall +know how to enjoy the difference--My brother will not be here to turn +jest into earnest; as might perhaps be the effect of his mediation--But, +heigh-ho, Harriet! that the first week were over, and I had got into my +throne! + +She ended with an Italian air, contrasted with another heigh-ho; and left +me for a few moments. + +Poor Lord G----! said I, looking after her. + +She returned soon. Poor Lord G----! repeated she: those were the piteous +words you threw after me--But if I should provoke him, do you think he +would not give me a cuff, or so?--You know he can't return joke for joke; +and he must revenge himself some way--If that should be the case, Poor +Charlotte, I hope you would say-- + +Not if you deserved it. + +Deserve a cuff, Harriet!--Well, but I am afraid I shall. + +Remember next Tuesday, Charlotte!--You must vow obedience--Will you break +your vow?--This is not a jesting matter. + +True, Harriet. And that it is not, was perhaps one of the reasons that +made me disinclined to go to so solemn a place as the church with Lord +G----. Don't you think it one with those who insist upon being married +in their own chamber? + +I believe great people, said I, think they must not do right things in +the common way: that seems to me to be one of their fantastic reasons: +but the vow is the vow, Charlotte: God is every where. + +Now you are so serious, Harriet, it is time to have done with the +subject. + + +I have no sleep in my eyes; and must go on. What keeps me more wakeful +is, my real concern for this naughty Miss Grandison, and my pity for Lord +G----; for the instance I have given you of her petulance is nothing to +what I have seen: but I thought, so near the day, she would have changed +her behaviour to him. Surely, the situation her brother is in, without +any fault of his own, might convince her, that she need not go out of her +path to pick up subjects for unhappiness. + +Such a kittenish disposition in her, I called it; for it is not so much +the love of power that predominates in her mind, as the love of +playfulness: and when the fit is upon her, she regards not whether it is +a china cup, or a cork, that she pats and tosses about. But her sport +will certainly be the death of Lord G----'s happiness. Pity that Sir +Charles, who only has power over her, is obliged to go abroad so soon! +But she has principles: Lady Grandison's daughter, Sir Charles +Grandison's sister, must have principles. The solemnity of the occasion; +the office; the church; the altar;--must strike her: The vow--Will she +not regard the vow she makes in circumstances so awful? Could but my +Lord G---- assume dignity, and mingle raillery with it, and be able to +laugh with her, and sometimes at her, she would not make him her sport: +she would find somebody else: A butt she must have to shoot at: but I am +afraid he will be too sensible of her smartness: and she will have her +jest, let who will suffer by it. + +Some of the contents of your last are very agreeable to me, Lucy. I will +begin in earnest to think of leaving London. Don't let me look silly in +your eyes, my dear, when I come. It was not so very presumptuous in me +(was it?) to hope--When all his relations--When he himself--Yet what room +for hope did he, could he, give me? He was honest; and I cheated myself: +but then all you, my dearest friends, encouraged the cheat: nay, pointed +my wishes, and my hopes, by yours, before I had dared (shall I say, or +condescended?) to own them to myself. + +You may let that Greville know, if you please, that there is no room for +his If's, nor, of consequence, any for his menaces. You may own, that I +shall soon be in Northamptonshire. This may prevent his and Fenwick's +threatened journey to town. + +But, Lucy, though my heart has been ever dutifully, as I may say, open to +the venerable domestic circle; though it would not have been an honest +heart, could it, circumstanced as I was, have concealed itself from Lady +D----; and must have been an impenetrable one indeed, if it could have +been disguised to the two sisters here--yet, I beseech you, my dear, +almost on my knees I beseech you, let not the audacious, the insulting +Greville, have ground given him to suspect a weakness in your Harriet, +which indelicate minds know not how to judge of delicately. For +sex-sake, for example-sake, Lucy, let it not be known, to any but the +partial, friendly few, that our grand-mamma Shirley's child, and aunt +Selby's niece, has been a volunteer in her affections. How many still +more forward girls would plead Mrs. Shirley's approbation of the hasty +affection, without considering the circumstances, and the object! So the +next girl that run away to a dancing-master, or an ensign, would reckon +herself one of Harriet's school. + +Poor Mr. Orme! I am sorry he is not well. It is cruel in you, Lucy, at +this time, to say, (so undoubtingly,) that his illness is owing to his +love of me. You knew that such a suggestion would pain me. Heaven +restore Mr. Orme! + +But I am vexed, as it cannot be to purpose, that Sir Charles Grandison +and I have been named together, and talked of, in your neighbourhood!--He +will be gone abroad. I shall return to Northamptonshire: and shall look +so silly! So like a refused girl! + +'Every body gives me to him, you say'--So much the worse. I wonder what +business this every body has to trouble itself about me. + +One consolation, however, I shall have in my return; and that is, in my +Nancy's recovered health; which was so precarious when I set out for +London. + +But I shall have nothing to entertain you with when I am with you: Sir +Charles Grandison, Lord and Lady L----, Lady G----, (as now in three or +four days she will be), my dear Miss Jervois, Dr. Bartlett, will be all +my subject. And have I not exhausted that by pen and ink? O no! The +doctor promises to correspond with me; and he makes no doubt but Sir +Charles will correspond with him, as usual. + +What can the unusually tender friendship be called which he professed for +me, and, as I may say, claimed in return from me? I know that he has no +notion of the love called Platonic. Nor have I: I think it, in general, +a dangerous allowance; and, with regard to our sex, a very unequal one; +since, while the man has nothing to fear, the woman has every thing, from +the privileges that may be claimed, in an acknowledged confidence, +especially in presence. Miss Grandison thus interprets what he said, and +strengthens her opinion by some of Dr. Bartlett's late intimations, that +he really loves me; but not being at liberty to avow his love, he knew +not what to say; and so went as near to a declaration as was possible to +do in his circumstances. + +But might I not expect, from such a profession of friendship in Sir +Charles, an offer of correspondence in absence? And if he made the +offer, ought I to decline it? Would it not indicate too much on my side, +were I to do so?--And does it not on his, if he make not the offer? He +corresponds with Mrs. Beaumont: nobody thinks that any thing can be meant +by that correspondence on either side; because Mrs. Beaumont must be at +least forty; Sir Charles but six or seven and twenty: but if he makes not +the request to Harriet, who is but little more than twenty; what, after +such professions of a friendship so tender, will be inferred from his +forbearance? + +But I shall puzzle myself, and you too, Lucy, if I go on with this sort +of reasoning; because I shall not know how to put all I mean into words. +Have I not already puzzled you? I think my expression is weak and +perplexed--But this offered and accepted friendship between two persons +not indelicate, must be perplexing; since he is the only young man in the +world, from whom a woman has no dishonour to fear.--Ah, Lucy!--It would +be vanity in me, would it not? to suppose that he had more to fear from +Harriet, than she has from him; as the virtue of either, I hope, is not +questionable? But the event of his Italian visit will explain and +reconcile every thing. + +I will encourage a drowsy fit that seems to be stealing upon me. If I +have not written with the perspicuity I always aim at, allow, Lucy, for +the time of night; for spirits not high; and for the subject, that having +its delicacies, as well as uncertainties, I am not able to write clearly +upon it. + + + +LETTER XIX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SATURDAY NIGHT, APRIL 9. + + +Sir Charles is already returned: he arrived at Windsor on Friday morning; +but found that Lord W---- had set out the afternoon of the day before, +for the house of his friend Sir Joseph Lawrence, which is but fifteen +miles from Mansfield-house. + +Upon this intelligence, Sir Charles, wanting to return to town as soon as +he could, followed him to the knight's: and having time enough himself to +reach Mansfield-house that night, he, by his uncle's consent, pursued his +journey thither; to the great joy of the family; who wished for his +personal introduction of my lord to Miss Mansfield. + +My lord arrived by breakfast-time, unfatigued, and in high spirits: staid +at Mansfield-house all day; and promised so to manage, as to be in town +to-morrow, in order to be present at his niece's nuptials on Tuesday. + +As for Sir Charles, he made the Mansfield family happy in his company the +whole Friday evening; inquiring into their affairs relating to the +oppression they lay under; pointing out measures for redress; encouraging +Miss Mansfield; and informing the brothers, that the lawyers he had +consulted on their deeds, told him, that a new trial might be hoped for; +the result of which, probably, would be a means to do them justice, so +powerfully protected and assisted as they would now be; for new lights +had broke in upon them, and they wanted but to recover a deed, which they +understood was in the hands of two gentlemen, named Hartley, who were but +lately returned from the Indies. Thus prepared, the Mansfields also were +in high spirits, the next morning; and looked, Sir Charles said, on each +other, when they met, as if they wanted to tell each other their +agreeable dreams. + +Sir Charles, in his way, had looked in upon Sir Harry Beauchamp, and his +lady. He found Sir Harry in high spirits, expecting the arrival of his +son; who was actually landed from Calais, having met there his father's +letter, allowing him to return to England, and wishing in his own, and in +Lady Beauchamp's name, his speedy arrival. + +Sir Charles's impatience to see his friend, permitted him only to +breakfast with my lord and the Mansfields; and to know the opinion each +party formed of the other, on this first interview; and then he set out +to Sir Harry Beauchamp's. What an activity!--Heaven reward him with the +grant of his own wishes, whatever they be, and make him the happiest of +men! + +My lord is greatly taken with the lady, and her whole family. Well he +may, Sir Charles says. He blessed him, and called himself blessed in his +sister's son, for his recommendation of each to the other. The lady +thinks better of him, as her mother owned to Sir Charles, than she +thought she should, from report. + +I begin to think, Lucy, that those who set out for happiness are most +likely to find it, when they live single till the age of fancy is over. +Those who marry while it lasts, are often disappointed of that which they +propose so largely to themselves: while those who wed for convenience, +and deal with tolerable honesty by each other, are at a greater +certainty. Tolerable, I repeat, since, it seems, we are to expect that +both parties will turn the best side of the old garment outward. Hence +arises consolation to old maidens, and cautions against precipitation-- +Expatiate, my dear, on this fruitful subject: I would, were I at leisure. + +Sir Charles says that he doubts not, but Lord W---- will be as happy a +man as he wishes to be, in less than a month. + +The deuse is in this brother of mine, whispered Miss Grandison, to me, +for huddling up of marriages! He don't consider, that there may be two +chances for one, that his honest folks may in half a year's time, bless +him the contrary way. + +Sir Charles told us, that he had desired Lord W---- to give out every +where (that the adversaries of the Mansfield family might know it) his +intended alliance; and that he and his nephew were both determined to +procure a retrospection of all former proceedings. + +Sir Charles got to Sir Harry Beauchamp's a little before his friend +arrived. Sir Harry took him aside at his alighting, and told him, that +Lady Beauchamp had had clouds on her brow all the day, and he was afraid, +would not receive his son with the graciousness that once he hoped for +from her: but, that he left him to manage with her. She never, said he, +had so high an opinion either of man or woman as she has of you. + +Sir Charles addressed himself to her, as not doubting her goodness upon +the foot of their former conversation; and praised her for the graces +that however appeared but faintly in her countenance, till his +compliments lighted them up, and made them shine full out in it. He told +her, that his sister and Lord G---- were to be married on the following +Tuesday. He himself, he said, should set out for Paris on Friday after: +but hoped to see a family intimacy begun between his sisters and Lady +Beauchamp; and between their lords, and Sir Harry, and Mr. Beauchamp. He +applauded her on the generosity of her intentions, as declared to him in +their former conference; and congratulated her on the power she had, of +which she made so noble an use, of laying, at the same time, an +obligation on the tenderest of husbands, and the most deserving of sons: +whose duty to her he engaged for. + +All this set her in high good humour; and she took to herself, and +bridled upon it, to express myself in Charlotte's manner, the praises and +graces this adroit manager gave her, as if they were her unquestionable +due. + +This agreeable way they were all in, Sir Harry transported with his +lady's goodness, when Mr. Beauchamp arrived. + +The young gentleman bent his knee to his stepmother, as well as to his +father, and thanked her for the high favours his father had signified to +him by letter, that he owed to her goodness. She confirmed them; but, +Sir Charles observed, with an ostentation that shewed she thought very +highly of her own generosity. + +They had a very cheerful evening. Not one cloud would hang on Lady +Beauchamp's brow, though once or twice it seemed a little overshadowed, +as Mr. Beauchamp displayed qualities for which his father was too ready +to admire him. Sir Charles thought it necessary to caution Sir Harry on +this subject; putting it in this light, that Lady Beauchamp loved her +husband so well, that she would be too likely to dread a rivalry in his +affections from a son so very accomplished. Sir Harry took the hint +kindly. + +Mr. Beauchamp was under a good deal of concern at Sir Charles's +engagements to leave England so soon after his arrival; and asked his +father's leave to attend him. Sir Harry declared, that he could not part +with him. Sir Charles chid his friend, and said, it was not quite so +handsome a return as might have been expected from his Beauchamp, to the +joyful reception he had met with from his father, and Lady Beauchamp. +But she excused the young gentleman, and said, she wondered not, that +any body who was favoured with his friendship, should be unwilling to be +separated from him. + +Sir Charles expresses great satisfaction in Mr. Beauchamp's being arrived +before his departure, that he may present to us, himself, a man with whom +he is sure we shall all be delighted, and leave him happy in the beloved +society which he himself is obliged to quit. + +A repining temper, Lucy, would consider only the hardship of meeting a +long-absent friend, just to feel the uneasiness of a second parting: but +this man views every thing in a right light. When his own happiness is +not to be attained, he lays it out of his thoughts, and, as I have +heretofore observed, rejoices in that of others. It is a pleasure to see +how Sir Charles seems to enjoy the love which Dr. Bartlett expresses for +this friend of them both. + +Sir Charles addressed himself to me, on several occasions, in so polite, +in so tender a manner, that every one told me afterwards, they are sure +he loves me. Dr. Bartlett at the time, as he sat next me, whispered, on +the regret expressed by all on losing him so soon--Ah, madam!--I know, +and pity, my patron's struggles!--Struggles, Lucy! What could the doctor +mean by this whisper to me? But I hope he guesses not at mine! If he +does, would he have whispered his pity of Sir Charles to me?--Come, Lucy, +this is some comfort, however; and I will endeavour to be brave upon it, +that I may not, by my weakness, lessen myself in the doctor's good +opinion. + +It was agreed for Charlotte, (whose assent was given in these words--'Do +as you will--or, rather, as my brother will--What signifies opposing +him?') that the nuptials shall be solemnized, as privately as possible, +at St. George's church. The company is to drop in at different doors, +and with as few attendants as may be. Lord W----, the Earl of G----, and +Lady Gertrude, Lord and Lady L----, Miss Jervois, and your Harriet, are +to be present at the ceremony. I was very earnest to be excused, till +Miss Grandison, when we were alone, dropt down on one knee, and held up +her hands, to beg me to accompany her. Mr. Everard Grandison, if he can +be found, is to be also there, at Sir Charles's desire. + +Dr. Bartlett, as I before hinted, at her earnest request, is to perform +the ceremony. Sir Charles wished it to be at his own parish-church: but +Miss Grandison thought it too near to be private. He was indifferent, as +to the place, he said--So it was at church; for he had been told of the +difficulty we had to get Charlotte to desist from having it performed in +her chamber; and seemed surprised.--Fie, Charlotte! said he--An office so +solemn!--Vows to receive and pay, as in the Divine Presence-- + +She was glad, she told me, that she had not left that battle to be fought +with him. + + +MONDAY, APRIL 10. + +Lord W---- is come. Lord and Lady L---- are here. They, and Miss +Grandison, received him with great respect. He embraced his nieces in a +very affectionate manner. Sir Charles was absent. Lord W---- is in +person and behaviour a much more agreeable man than I expected him to be. +Nor is he so decrepit with the gout, as I had supposed. He is very +careful of himself, it seems. This world has been kind to him; and I +fancy he makes a great deal of a little pain, for want of stronger +exercises to his patience; and so is a sufferer by self-indulgence. Had +I not been made acquainted with his free living, and with the insults he +bore from Mrs. Giffard, with a spirit so poor and so low, I should have +believed I saw not only the man of quality, but the man of sense, in his +countenance. I endeavoured, however, as much as I could, to look upon +him as the brother of the late Lady Grandison. Had he been worthy of +that relation, how should I have reverenced him! + +But whatever I thought of him, he was highly taken with me. He +particularly praised me for the modesty which he said was visible in my +countenance. Free-livers, Lucy, taken with that grace in a woman, which +they make it their pride to destroy! But all men, good and bad, admire +modesty in a woman: And I am sometimes out of humour with our sex, that +they do not as generally like modesty in men. I am sure that this grace, +in Sir Charles Grandison, is one of his principal glories with me. It +emboldens one's heart, and permits one to behave before him with ease; +and, as I may say, with security, in the consciousness of a right +intention. + +But what were Lord W----'s praises of his nephew! He called him, the +glory of his sex, and of human nature. How the cheeks of the dear Emily +glowed at the praises given to her guardian!--She was the taller for +them: when she moved, it was on tiptoe; stealing as it were, across the +floor, lest she should lose any thing that was said on a subject so +delightful to her. + +My lord was greatly pleased with her too. He complimented her as the +beloved ward of the best of guardians. He lamented, with us, the +occasion that called his nephew abroad. He was full of his own +engagements with Miss Mansfield, and declared that his nephew should +guide and govern him as he pleased in every material case, respecting +either the conduct of his future life, or the management and disposition +of his estate; declaring, that he had made his will, and, reserving only +his lady's jointure, and a few legacies, had left every thing to him. + +How right a thing, even in policy, is it, my dear, to be good and +generous. + +I must not forget, that my lord wished with all his soul, that was his +expression, that he might have the honour of giving to his nephew my hand +in marriage. + +I could feel myself blush. I half-suppressed a sigh: I would have wholly +suppressed it, if I could. I recovered the little confusion, his too +plainly expressed wish gave me, by repeating to myself the word CLEMENTINA. + +This Charlotte is a great coward. But I dare not tell her so, for fear +of a retort. I believe I should be as great a one in her circumstances, +so few hours to one of the greatest events of one's life! But I pretend +not to bravery: yet hope, that in the cause of virtue or honour I should +be found to have a soul. + +I write now at my cousin's. I came hither to make an alteration in my +dress. I have promised to be with the sweet Bully early in the morning +of her important day. + + + +LETTER XX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY NIGHT, | APRIL 11, 12. +WEDNESDAY MORNING,| + + +Miss Grandison is no longer to be called by that name. She is Lady +G----. May she make Lord G---- as happy as I dare say he will make her, +if it be not her own fault! + +I was early with her, according to promise. I found her more affected +than she was even last night with her approaching change of condition. +Her brother had been talking to her, she said; and had laid down the +duties of the state she was about to enter into, in such a serious +manner, and made the performance of them of so much importance to her +happiness both here and hereafter, that she was terrified at the thoughts +of what she was about to undertake. She had never considered matrimony +in that formidable light before. He had told her, that he was afraid of +her vivacity; yet was loath to discourage her cheerfulness, or to say +any thing that should lower her spirits. All he besought of her was, to +regard times, tempers, and occasions; and then it would be impossible but +her lively humour must give delight not only to the man whom she favoured +with her hand, but to every one who had the pleasure of approaching her. +If, Charlotte, said he, you would have the world around you respect your +husband, you must set the example. While the wife gives the least room +to suspect, that she despises her husband, she will find that she +subjects him to double contempt, if he resents it not; and if he does, +can you be happy? Aggressors lay themselves open to severe reprisals. +If you differ, you will be apt to make by-standers judges over you. They +will remember, when you are willing to forget; and your fame will be the +sport of those beneath you, as well in understanding as degree. + +She believed, she told me, that Lord G---- had been making some +complaints of her. If he had-- + +Hush, my dear, said I--Not one word of threatening: are you more +solicitous to conceal your fault, than to amend it? + +No--But you know, Harriet, for a man, before he has experienced what sort +of a wife I shall make, to complain against me for foibles in courtship, +when he can help himself if he will, has something so very little-- + +Your conscience, Charlotte, tells you, that he had reason for complaint; +and therefore you think he has complained. Think the best of Lord G---- +for your own reputation's sake, since you thought fit to go thus far with +him. You have borne nothing from him: he has borne a great deal from +you. + +I am fretful, Harriet; I won't be chidden: I will be comforted by you: +you shall sooth me: are you not my sister? She threw her arms round me, +and kissed my cheek. + +I ventured to rally her, though I was afraid of her retort, and met with +it: but I thought it would divert her. I am glad, my dear, said I, that +you are capable of this tenderness of temper: you blustering girls--But +fear, I believe, will make cowards loving. + +Harriet, said she, and flung from me to the window, remember this: may I +soon see you in the same situation! I will then have no mercy upon you. + + +The subject, which Sir Charles led to at breakfast, was the three +weddings of Thursday last. He spoke honourably of marriage, and made +some just compliments to Lord and Lady L----; concluding them with +wishes, that his sister Charlotte and Lord G---- might be neither more +nor less happy than they were. Then turning to Lord W----, he said, he +questioned not his lordship's happiness with the lady he had so lately +seen; for I cannot doubt, said he, of your lordship's affectionate +gratitude to her, if she behaves, as I am sure she will. + +My lord had tears in his eyes. Never man had such a nephew as I have, +said he. All the joy of my present prospects, all the comforts of my +future life, are and will be owing to you. + +Here had he stopt, it would have been well: but turning to me, he +unexpectedly said, Would to God, madam, that you could reward him! I +cannot; and nobody else can. + +All were alarmed for me; every eye was upon me. A sickishness came over +my heart--I know not how to describe it. My head sunk upon my bosom. I +could hardly sit; yet was less able to rise. + +Sir Charles's face was overspread with blushes. He bowed to my lord. +May the man, said he, who shall have the honour to call Miss Byron his, +be, if possible, as deserving as she is! Then will they live together +the life of angels. + +He gracefully looked down; not at me; and I got a little courage to look +up: yet Lady L---- was concerned for me: so was Lord L----: Emily's eye +dropt a tear upon her blushing cheek. + +Was it not, Lucy, a severe trial?--Indeed it was. + +My Lord, to mend the matter, lamented very pathetically, that Sir Charles +was under an obligation to go abroad; and still more, that he could not +stay to be present at the celebration of his nuptials with Miss +Mansfield. + +The Earl, Lord G----, Lady Gertrude, and the doctor, were to meet the +bride and us at church. Lord and Lady L----, Sir Charles, and Emily, +went in one coach: Miss Grandison and I in another. + +As we went, I don't like this affair at all, Harriet, said she. My +brother has long made all other men indifferent to me. Such an infinite +difference! + +Can any body be happier than Lord and Lady L----, Charlotte? Yet Lady +L---- admires her brother as much as you can do. + +They happy!--And so they are. But Lady L----, soft soul! fell in love +with Lord L---- before my brother came over. So the foundation was laid: +and it being a first flame with her, she, in compliment to herself, could +not but persevere. But the sorry creature Anderson, proving a sorry +creature, made me despise the sex: and my brother's perfections +contributed to my contempt of all other men. + +Indeed, my dear, you are wrong. Lord G---- loves you: but were Sir +Charles not your brother, it is not very certain, that he would have +returned your love. + +Why, that's true. I believe he would not, in that case, have chosen me. +I am sure he would not, if he had known you: but for the man one loves, +one can do any thing, be every thing, that he would wish one to be. + +Do you think you cannot love Lord G----? For Heaven's sake, Charlotte, +though you are now almost within sight of the church, do not think of +giving your hand, if you cannot resolve to make Lord G---- as happy, as I +have no doubt he will make you, if it be not your own fault. + +What will my brother say? What will-- + +Leave that to me. I will engage Sir Charles and Dr. Bartlett to lend me +their ear in the vestry; and I am sure your brother, if he knows that you +have an antipathy to Lord G----, or that you think you cannot be happy +with him, will undertake your cause, and bring you off. + +Antipathy! That's a strong word, Harriet. The man is a good-natured +silly man-- + +Silly! Charlotte!--Silly then he must be for loving you so well, who, +really, have never yet given him an opportunity to shew his importance +with you. + +I do pity him sometimes. + +The coach stopt:--Ah, Lord! Harriet! The church! The church! + +Say, Charlotte, before you step out--Shall I speak to your brother, and +Dr. Bartlett, in the vestry? + +I shall look like a fool either way. + +Don't act like one, Charlotte, on this solemn occasion. Say, you will +deserve, that you will try to deserve, Lord G----'s love. + +Sir Charles appeared. Lord help me!--My brother!--I'll try, I'll try, +what can be done. + +He gave each his hand in turn: in we flew: the people began to gather +about us. Lord G---- all rapture, received her at the entrance. Sir +Charles led me: and the Earl and Lady Gertrude received us with joy in +their countenances. I overheard the naughty one say, as Lord G---- led +her up to the altar, You don't know what you are about, man. I expect to +have all my way: remember that's one of my articles before marriage. + +He returned her an answer of fond assent to her condition. I am afraid, +thought I, poor Lord G----, you will be more than once reminded of this +previous article. + +When she was led to the altar, and Lord G---- and she stood together, she +trembled. Leave me not, Harriet, said she.--Brother! Lady L----! + +I am sure she looked sillier than Lord G---- at that instant. + +The good doctor began the office. No dearly beloveds, Harriet! whispered +she, as I had said, on a really terrible occasion. I was offended with +her in my heart: again she whispered something against the office, as the +doctor proceeded to give the reasons for the institution. Her levity did +not forsake her even at that solemn moment. + +When the service was over, every one (Sir Charles in a solemn and most +affectionate manner) wished her happy. My Lord G---- kissed her hand +with a bent knee. + +She took my hand. Ah! Lord, what have I done?--And am I married? +whispered she--And can it never be undone?--And is that the man, to whom +I am to be obedient?--Is he to be my lord and master? + +Ah, Lady G----, said I, it is a solemn office. You have vowed: he has +vowed.--It is a solemn office. + +Lord G---- led her to the first coach. Sir Charles led me into the same. +The people, to my great confusion, whispered. That's the bride! What a +charming couple! Sir Charles handed Miss Emily next. Lord G---- came +in: as he was entering, Harkee, friend, said Charlotte, and put out her +hand, you mistake the coach: you are not of our company. + +The whole world, replied my lord, shall not now divide us: and took his +seat on the same side with Emily. + +The man's a rogue, Harriet, whispered she: See! He gives himself airs +already! + +This, said Lord G---- as the coach drove on, taking one hand, and eagerly +kissing it, is the hand that blessed me. + +And that, said she, pushing him from her with the other, is the hand that +repulses your forwardness. What came you in here for?--Don't be silly. + +He was in raptures all the way. + +When we came home, every one embraced and wished joy to the bride. The +Earl and Lady Gertrude were in high spirits. The lady re-saluted her +niece, as her dear niece: the earl recognised his beloved daughter. + +But prepare to hear a noble action of Lord W----. + +When he came up to compliment her--My dearest niece, said he, I wish you +joy with all my soul. I have not been a kind uncle. There is no +fastening any thing on your brother. Accept of this: [and he put a +little paper into her hand--It was a banknote of 1,000£.:] My sister's +daughter, and your brother's sister, merits more than this. + +Was not this handsomely presented, Lucy? + +He then, in a manner becoming Lady Grandison's brother, stept to Lady +L----. My niece Charlotte is not my only niece. I wish you, my dear, as +if this was your day of marriage, all happiness; accept these two papers: +[The one, Lucy, was a note for 1,000£. and the other for 100£.:] and he +said, The lesser note is due to you for interest on the greater. + +When the ladies opened their notes, and saw what they were, they were at +first at a loss what to say. + +It was most gracefully done. But see, Lucy, the example of a good and +generous man can sometimes alter natures; and covetous men, I have heard +it observed, when their hearts are opened, often act nobly. + +As soon as Lady G---- (so now I must call her) recovered herself from the +surprise into which my lord's present and address had put her, she went +to him: Allow me, my lord, said she, and bent one knee to him, to crave +your blessing; and at the same time to thank you for your paternal +present to your ever obliged Charlotte. + +God bless you, my dear! saluting her--But thank your noble brother: you +delight me with your graceful acceptance. + +Lady L---- came up. My Lord, you overcome me by your bounty.--How shall +I-- + +Your brother's princely spirit, Lady L----, said he, makes this present +look mean. Forgive me only, that it was not done before. And he saluted +her. + +Lord L---- came up. Lady L---- shewed him the opened notes--See here, my +lord, said she, what Lord W---- has done: and he calls this the interest +due on that. + +Your lordship oppresses me with your goodness to your niece, said Lord +L----. May health, long-life, and happiness, attend you in your own +nuptials! + +There, there, said Lord W----, pointing to Sir Charles, (who had +withdrawn, and then entered), make your acknowledgment: his noble spirit +has awakened mine; it was only asleep. My late sister's brother wanted +but the force of such an example. That son is all his mother. + +Sir Charles joining them, having heard only the last words--If I am +thought a son not unworthy of the most excellent of mothers, said he, and +by her brother, I am happy. + +Then you are happy, replied my lord. + +Her memory, resumed Sir Charles, I cherish; and when I have been tempted +to forget myself, that memory has been a means of keeping me steady in my +duty. Her precepts, my lord, were the guide of my early youth. Had I +not kept them in mind, how much more blamable than most young men had I +been!--My Charlotte! Have that mother in your memory, on this great +change of your condition! You will not be called to her trials.--His +eyes glistened. Tender be our remembrance of my father.--Charlotte, be +worthy of your mother. + +He withdrew with an air so noble!--But soon returning, with a cheerful +look, he was told what Lord W---- had done--Your lordship was before, +said he, entitled to our duty, by the ties of blood: but what is the +relation of body to that of mind? You have bound me for my sisters, and +that still more by the manner, than by the act, in a bond of gratitude +that never can be broken! + +Thank yourself, thank yourself, my noble nephew. + +Encourage, my lord, a family intimacy between your lady, and her nieces +and nephews. You will be delighted, my sisters, with Miss Mansfield; but +when she obliges my lord with her hand, you will reverence your aunt. I +shall have a pleasure, when I am far distant, in contemplating the family +union. Your lordship must let me know your Day in time; and I will be +joyful upon it, whatever, of a contrary nature, I may have to struggle +with on my own account. + +My lord wept--My lord wept, did I say?--Not one of us had a dry eye!-- +This was a solemn scene, you will say, for a wedding day: but how +delightfully do such scenes dilate the heart! + +The day, however, was not forgotten as a day of festivity. Sir Charles +himself, by his vivacity and openness of countenance, made every one +joyful: and, except that now and then a sigh, which could not be checked, +stole from some of us, to think that he would so soon be in another +country, (far distant from the friends he now made happy,) and engaged in +difficulties; perhaps in dangers; every heart was present to the occasion +of the day. + +O, Charlotte! Dear Lady G----! Hitherto, it is in your power, to make +every future day, worthy of this!--'Have your mother, your noble mother, +in your memory, my dear:' and give credit to the approbation of such a +brother. + +I should have told you, that my cousins Reeves came about two, and were +received with the utmost politeness by every body. + +Sir Charles was called out just before dinner; and returned introducing a +young gentleman, dressed as if for the day--This is an earlier favour, +than I had hoped for, said Sir Charles; and leading him to Lady G----. +This, sir, is the queen of the day. My dear Lady G----, welcome (the +house is yours--welcome) the man I love: welcome my Beauchamp. + +Every one, except Emily and me, crowded about Mr. Beauchamp, as Sir +Charles's avowedly beloved friend, and bid him cordially welcome: Sir +Charles presenting him to each by name. + +Then leading him to me--I am half ashamed, Lucy, to repeat--But take it +as he spoke it--Revere, said he, my dear friend, that excellent young +lady: but let not your admiration stop at her face and person: she has a +mind as exalted, my Beauchamp, as your own: Miss Byron, in honour to my +sister, and of us all, has gilded this day by her presence. + +Mr. Beauchamp approached me with polite respect. The lady whom Sir +Charles Grandison admires, as he does you, must be the first of women. + +I might have said, that he, who was so eminently distinguished as the +friend of Sir Charles Grandison, must be a most valuable man: but my +spirits were not high. I courtesied to his compliment; and was silent. + +Sir Charles presented Emily to him.--My Emily, Beauchamp. I hope to live +to see her happily married. The man whose heart is but half so worthy as +hers, must be an excellent man. + +Modesty might look up, and be sensible to compliments from the lips of +such a man. Emily looked at me with pleasure, as if she had said, Do you +hear, madam, what a fine thing my guardian has said of me? + +Sir Charles asked Mr. Beauchamp, how he stood with my Lady Beauchamp? + +Very well, answered he. After such an introduction as you had given me +to her, I must have been to blame, had I not. She is my father's wife: I +must respect her, were she ever so unkind to me: she is not without good +qualities. Were every family so happy as to have Sir Charles Grandison +for a mediator when misunderstandings happened, there would be very few +lasting differences among relations. My father and mother tell me, that +they never sit down to table together, but they bless you: and to me they +have talked of nobody else: but Lady Beauchamp depends upon your promise +of making her acquainted with the ladies of your family. + +My sisters, and their lords, will do honour to my promise in my absence. +Lady L----, Lady G----, let me recommend to you Lady Beauchamp as more +than a common visiting acquaintance. Do you, sir, to Mr. Beauchamp, see +it cultivated. + +Mr. Beauchamp is an agreeable, and, when Sir Charles Grandison is not in +company, a handsome and genteel man. I think, my dear, that I do but the +same justice that every body would do, in this exception. He is +cheerful, lively, yet modest, and not too full of words. One sees both +love and respect in every look he casts upon his friend; and that he is +delighted when he hears him speak, be the subject what it will. + +He once said to Lord W----, who praised his nephew to him, as he does to +everybody near him; The universal voice, my lord, is in his favour +wherever he goes. Every one joins almost in the same words, in different +countries, allowing for the different languages, that for sweetness of +manners, and manly dignity, he hardly ever had his equal. + +Sir Charles was then engaged in talk with his Emily; she before him; he +standing in an easy genteel attitude, leaning against the wainscot, +listening, smiling, to her prattle, with looks of indulgent love, as a +father might do to a child he was fond of; while she looked back every +now and then towards me, so proud, poor dear! of being singled out by her +guardian. + +She tript to me afterwards, and, leaning over my shoulder, as I sat, +whispered--I have been begging of my guardian to use his interest with +you, madam, to take me down with you to Northamptonshire. + +And what is the result? + +She paused. + +Has he denied your request? + +No, madam. + +Has he allowed you to go, my dear, if I comply, turning half round to her +with pleasure. + +She paused, and seemed at a loss. I repeated my question. + +Why, no, he has not consented neither--But he said such charming things, +so obliging, so kind, both of you, and of me, that I forgot my question, +though it was so near my heart: but I will ask him again. + +And thus, Lucy, can he decline complying, and yet send away a requester +so much delighted with him, as to forget what her request was. + +Miss Grandison--Lady G----, I would say--singled me out soon after--This +Beauchamp is really a very pretty fellow, Harriet. + +He is an agreeable man, answered I. + +So I think. She said no more of him at that time. + +Between dinner and tea, at Lady L----'s motion, they made me play on the +harpsichord; and after one lesson, they besought Sir Charles to sing to +my playing. He would not, he said, deny any request that was made him on +that day. + +He sung. He has a mellow manly voice, and great command of it. + +This introduced a little concert. Mr. Beauchamp took the violin; Lord +L---- the bass-viol; Lord G---- the German flute; and most of the company +joined in the chorus. The song was from 'Alexander's Feast:' the words; + + Happy, happy, happy pair! + None but the good deserves the fair: + +Sir Charles, though himself equally brave and good, preferring the latter +word to the former. + +Lady L---- had always insisted upon dancing at her sister's wedding. We +were not company enough for country dances: but music having been +ordered, and the performers come, it was insisted upon that we should +have a dance, though we were engaged in a conversation that I thought +infinitely more agreeable. + +Lord G---- began by dancing a minuet with his bride: she danced +charmingly: but on my telling her so afterwards, she whispered me, that +she should have performed better, had she danced with her brother. Lord +G---- danced extremely well. + +Lord L---- and Lady Gertrude, Mr. Beauchamp and Mrs. Reeves, Mr. Reeves +and Lady L---- danced all of them very agreeably. + +The earl took me out: but we had hardly done, when, asking pardon for +disgracing me, as he too modestly expressed himself; he, and all but my +cousins and Emily, called out for Sir Charles to dance with me. + +I was abashed at the general voice calling upon us both: but it was +obeyed. + +He deserved all the praises that Miss Gran--Lady G----, I would say, +gave him in her letter to me. + +Lord bless me, my dear, this man is every thing! But his conversation +has ever been among the politest people of different nations. + +Lord W---- wished himself able, from his gout, to take out Miss Jervois. + +The bridegroom was called upon by Sir Charles: and he took out the good +girl, who danced very prettily. I fancied, that he chose to call out +Lord G---- rather than Mr. Beauchamp. He is the most delicate and +considerate of men. + +Sir Charles was afterwards called upon by the bride herself: and she +danced then with a grace indeed! I was pleased that she could perform so +well at her own wedding. + +Supper was not ready till twelve. Mr. Reeves's coach came about that +hour; but we got not away till two. + +Perhaps the company would not have broke up so soon, had not the bride +been perverse, and refused to retire. + +Was she not at home? she asked Lady L----, who was put upon urging her: +and should she leave her company? + +She would make me retire with her. She took a very affectionate leave of +me. + +Marriage, Lucy, is an awful rite. It is supposed to be a joyful +solemnity: but, on the woman's side, it can be only so when she is given +to the man she loves above all the men in the world; and, even to her, +the anniversary day, when doubt is turned into certainty, must be much +happier than the day itself. + +What a victim must that woman look upon herself to be, who is compelled, +or even over-persuaded, to give her hand to a man who has no share in her +heart? Ought not a parent or guardian, in such a circumstance, +especially if the child has a delicate, an honest mind, to be chargable +with all the unhappy consequences that may follow from such a cruel +compulsion? + +But this is not the case with Miss Grandison. Early she cast her eye on +an improper object. Her pride convinced her in time of the impropriety. +And this, as she owns, gave her an indifference to all men. + +She hates not Lord G----. There is no man whom she prefers to him. And +in this respect, may perhaps, be upon a par with eight women out of +twelve, who marry, and yet make not bad wives. + +As she played with her passion till she lost it, she may be happy, if she +will: and since she intended to be, some time or other, Lady G----, her +brother was kind in persuading her to shorten her days of coquetting and +teasing, and allow him to give her to Lord G---- before he went abroad. + + + +LETTER XXI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12. + + +Dr. Bartlett was so good as to breakfast with my cousins and me this +morning. He talks of setting out for Grandison-hall on Saturday or +Monday next. We have settled a correspondence; and he gives me hope, +that he will make me a visit in Northamptonshire. I know you will all +rejoice to see him. + +Emily came in before the doctor went. She brought me the compliments of +the bride, and Lord W----, with their earnest request, that I would dine +with them. Sir Charles was gone, she said, to make a farewell visit to +the Danby set; but would be at home at dinner. + +It would be better for me, I think, Lucy, to avoid all opportunities of +seeing him: Don't you think so?--There is no such thing as seeing him +with indifference. But, so earnestly invited, how could I deny; +especially as my cousins were inclinable to go? + +Miss Jervois whispered me at parting. I never before, said she, had an +opportunity to observe the behaviour of a new-married couple to each +other: but is it customary, madam, for the bride to be more snappish, as +the bridegroom is more obliging? + +Lady G---- is very naughty, my dear, if she so behaves, as to give you +reason to ask this question. + +She does: and, upon my word, I see more obedience where it was not +promised, than where it was. Dear madam, is not what is said at church +to be thought of afterwards? But why did not the doctor make her speak +out? What signified bowing, except a woman was so bashful that she could +not speak? + +The bowing, my dear, is an assent. It is as efficacious as words. Lord +G---- only bowed, you know. Could you like to be called upon, Emily, to +speak out? + +Why, no. But then I would be very civil and good-natured to my husband, +if it were but for fear he should be cross to me: but I should think it +my duty as well + +Sweet innocent! + +She went away, and left the doctor with me. + +When our hearts are set upon a particular subject, how impertinent, how +much beside the purpose, do we think every other! I wanted the doctor to +talk of Sir Charles Grandison: but as he fell not into the subject, and +as I was afraid he would think me to be always leading him into it, if I +began it, I suffered him to go away at his first motion: I never knew him +so shy upon it, however. + +Sir Charles returned to dinner. He has told Lady L----, who afterwards +told us, that he had a hint from Mr. Galliard, senior, that if he were +not engaged in his affections, he was commissioned to make him a very +great proposal in behalf of one of the young ladies he had seen the +Thursday before; and that from her father. + +Surely, Lucy, we may pronounce without doubt, that we live in an age in +which there is a great dearth of good men, that so many offers fall to +the lot of one. But, I am thinking, 'tis no small advantage to Sir +Charles, that his time is so taken up, that he cannot stay long enough in +any company to suffer them to cast their eyes on other objects, with +distinction. He left the numerous assembly at Enfield, while they were +in the height of their admiration of him. Attention, love, admiration, +cannot be always kept at the stretch. You will observe, Lucy, that on +the return of a long-absent dear friend, the rapture lasts not more than +an hour: gladdened, as the heart is, the friend received, and the friends +receiving, perhaps in less than that time, can sit down quietly together, +to hear and to tell stories, of what has happened to either in the long +regretted absence. It will be so with us, Lucy, when I return to the +arms of my kind friends: and now, does not Sir Charles's proposed journey +to Italy endear his company to us? + +The Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, and two agreeable nieces of that +nobleman's, were here at dinner. Lady G---- behaved pretty well to her +lord before them: but I, who understood the language of her eyes, saw +them talk very saucily to him, on several occasions. My lord is a little +officious in his obligingness; which takes off from that graceful, that +polite frankness, which so charmingly, on all occasions, distinguishes +one happy man, who was then present. Lord G---- will perhaps appear more +to advantage in that person's absence. + +Mr. Beauchamp was also present. He is indeed an agreeable, a modest +young man. He appeared to great advantage, as well in his conversation, +as by his behaviour: and not the less for subscribing in both to the +superiority of his friend; who, nevertheless, endeavoured to draw him out +as the first man. + +After dinner, Lady L----, Lady G----, and I, found an opportunity to be +by ourselves for one half hour. Lady G---- asked Lady L---- what she +intended to do with the thousand pounds with which Lord W---- had so +generously presented her?--Do with it, my dear!--What do you think I +intend to do with it?--It is already disposed of. + +I'll be hanged, said Lady G----, if this good creature has not given it +to her husband. + +Indeed, Charlotte, I have. I gave it to him before I slept. + +I thought so! She laughed--And Lord L---- took it! Did he? + +To be sure he did. I should otherwise have been displeased with him. + +Dear, good soul!--And so you gave him a thousand pounds to take part of +it back from him, by four or five paltry guineas at a time, at his +pleasure? + +Lord L---- and I, Charlotte, have but one purse. You may not perhaps, +know how we manage it? + +Pray, good, meek, dependent creature! how do you manage it? + +Thus, Charlotte: My lord knows that his wife and he have but one +interest; and from the first of our happy marriage, he would make me take +one key, as he has another, of the private drawer, where his money and +money-bills lie. There is a little memorandum-book in the drawer, in +which he enters on one page, the money he receives; on the opposite, the +money he takes out: and when I want money, I have recourse to my key. If +I see but little in the drawer, I am the more moderate; or, perhaps, if +my want is not urgent, defer the supplying of it till my lord is richer: +but, little or much, I minute down the sum, as he himself does; and so we +know what we are about; and I never put it out of my lord's power, by my +unseasonable expenses, to preserve that custom of his, for which he is as +much respected, as well served; not to suffer a demand to be twice made +upon him where he is a debtor. + +Good soul!--And, pray, don't you minute down, too, the use to which you +put the money you take out? + +Indeed I often do: always, indeed, when I take out more than five guineas +at one time: I found my lord did so: and I followed the example of my own +accord. + +Happy pair! said I.--O Lady G----, what a charming example is this!--I +hope you'll follow it. + +Thank you, Harriet, for your advice. Why, I can't but say, that this is +one pretty way of coaxing each other into frugality: but don't you think, +that where an honest pair are so tender of disobliging, and so studious +of obliging each other, that they seem to confess that the matrimonial +good understanding hangs by very slender threads? + +And do not the tenderest friendships, said I, hang by as slender? Can +delicate minds be united to each other but by delicate observances? + +Why thou art a good soul, too, Harriet!--And so you would both have me +make a present to Lord G---- of my thousand pounds before we have chosen +our private drawer; before he has got two keys made to it? + +Let him know, Charlotte, what Lord L---- and I do, if you think the +example worth following--And then-- + +Ay, and then give him my thousand pounds for a beginning, Lady L----? +But see you not that this proposal should come from him, not from me?-- +And should we not let each other see a little of each other's merits +first? + +See, first, the merits of the man you have married, Charlotte! + +Yes, Lady L----. But yesterday married, you know. Can there be a +greater difference between any two men in the world, than there often is +between the same man, a lover, and a husband?--And now, my generous +advisers, be pleased to continue silent. You cannot answer me fairly. +And besides, wot ye not the indelicacy of an early present, which you are +not obliged to make? + +We were both silent, each expecting the other to answer the strange +creature. + +She laughed at us both. Soft souls, and tender! said she, let me tell +you, that there is more indelicacy in delicacy, than you very delicate +people are aware of. + +You, Charlotte, said Lady L----, have odder notions than any body else. +Had you been a man, you would have been a sad rake. + +A rake, perhaps, I might have been; but not a sad one, Lady L----. + +Lady G---- can't help being witty, said I: it is sometimes her +misfortune, sometimes ours, that she cannot: however, I highly approve of +the example set by Lord L----, and followed by Lady L----. + +And so do I, Harriet. And when Lord G---- sets the example, I shall-- +consider of it. I am not a bad economist. Had I ten thousand pounds in +my hands, I would not be extravagant: had I but one hundred, I would not +be mean. I value not money but as it enables me to lay an obligation, +instead of being under the necessity of receiving one. I am my mother's +daughter, and brother's sister; and yours, Lady L----, in this +particular; and yours too, Harriet: different means may be taken to +arrive at the same end. Lord G---- will have no reason to be +dissatisfied with my prudence in money-matters, although I should not +make him one of my best courtesies, as if--as if--(and she laughed; but +checking herself)--I were conscious--again she laughed--that I had signed +and sealed to my absolute dependence on his bounty. + +What a mad creature! said Lady L----: But, my Harriet, don't you think +that she behaved pretty well to Lord G---- at table? + +Yes, answered I, as those would think who observe not her arch looks: but +she gave me pain for her several times; and, I believe, her brother was +not without his apprehensions. + +He had his eyes upon you, Harriet, replied Lady G----, more earnestly +than he had upon me, or any body else. + +That's true, said Lady L----. I looked upon both him and you, my dear, +with pity. My tears were ready to start more than once, to reflect how +happy you two might be in each other, and how greatly you would love each +other, were it not---- + +Not one word more on this subject, dear Lady L----! I cannot bear it. I +thought my-self, that he often cast an eye of tenderness upon me. I +cannot bear it. I am afraid of myself; of my justice-- + +His tender looks did not escape me, said Lady G----. Nor yet did my dear +Harriet's. But we will not touch this string: it is too tender a one. +I, for my part, was forced, in order to divert myself, to turn my eyes on +Lord G----. He got nothing by that. The most officious-- + +Nay, Lady G----, interrupted I, you shall not change the discourse at the +expense of the man you have vowed to honour. I will be pained myself, by +the continuation of the former subject, rather than that shall be. + +Charming Harriet! said Lady L----. I hope your generosity will be +rewarded. Yet tell me, my dear, can you wish Lady Clementina may be his? +I have no doubt but you wish her recovery; but can you wish her to be +his? + +I have debated the matter, my dear Lady L----, with myself. I am sorry +it has admitted of debate: so excellent a creature! Such an honour to +her sex! So nobly sincere! So pious!--But I will confess the truth: I +have called upon justice to support me in my determination: I have +supposed myself in her situation, her unhappy malady excepted: I have +supposed her in mine: and ought I then to have hesitated to which to give +the preference?--Yet-- + +What yet, most frank, and most generous of women? said Lady L----, +clasping her arms about me: what yet-- + +Why, yet-Ah, ladies--Why, yet, I have many a pang, many a twitch, as I +may call it!--Why is your brother so tender-hearted, so modest, so +faultless!--Why did he not insult me with his pity? Why does he on every +occasion shew a tenderness for me, that is more affecting than pity? And +why does he give me a consequence that exalts, while it depresses me? + +I turned my head aside to hide my emotion--Lady G---- snatched my +handkerchief from me; and wiped away a starting tear; and called me by +very tender names. + +Am I dear, continued I, to the heart of such a man? You think I am. +Allow me to say, that he is indeed dear to mine: yet I have not a wish +but for his happiness, whatever becomes of me. + +Emily appeared at the door--May I come in, ladies?--I will come in!--My +dear Miss Byron affected! My dear Miss Byron in tears! + +Her pity, without knowing the cause, sprung to her eyes. She took my +hand in both hers, and repeatedly kissed it!--My guardian asks for you. +O with what tenderness of voice--Where is your Miss Byron, love? He +calls every one by gentle names, when he speaks of you--His voice then is +the voice of love--Love, said he to me! Through you, madam, he will love +his ward--And on your love will I build all my merit. But you sigh, dear +Miss Byron! you sigh--Forgive your prating girl!--You must not be +grieved. + +I embraced her. Grief, my dear, reaches not my heart at this time. It +is the merit of your guardian that affects me. + +God bless you, madam, for your gratitude to my guardian! + +A Clementina and a Harriet! said Lady L----, two women so excellent! +What a fate is his! How must his heart be divided! + +Divided, say you, Lady L----! resumed Lady G----. The man who loves +virtue, for virtue's sake, loves it wherever he finds it: Such a man may +distinguish more virtuous women than one: and if he be of a gentle and +beneficent nature, there will be tenderness in his distinction to every +one, varying only according to the difference of circumstance and +situation. + +Let me embrace you, my Charlotte! resumed Lady L----. for that thought. +Don't let me hear, for a month to come, one word from the same lips, that +may be unworthy of it. + +You have Lord G---- in your head, Lady L----: but never mind us. He must +now and then be made to look about him. I'll take care to keep up my +consequence with him, never fear: nor shall he have reason to doubt the +virtue of his wife. + +Virtue, my dear! said I: What is virtue only? She who will not be +virtuous for virtue's sake, is not worthy to be called a woman: but she +must be something more than virtuous for her husband's, nay, for her +vow's sake. Complacency, obligingness-- + +Obedience too, I warrant--Hush, hush, my sweet Harriet! putting her hand +before my mouth, we will behave as well as we can: and that will be very +well, if nobody minds us. And now let us go down together. + + + +LETTER XXII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +THURSDAY, APRIL 13. + + +We played at cards last night till supper-time. When that was over, +every one sought to engage Sir Charles in discourse. I will give you +some particulars of our conversation, as I did of one before. + +Lord W---- began it with a complaint of the insolence and profligateness +of servants. What he said, was only answered by Sir Charles, with the +word Example, example, my good lord, repeated. + +You, Sir Charles, replied my lord, may indeed insist upon the force of +example; for I cannot but observe, that all those of yours, whom I have +seen, are entitled to regard. They have the looks of men at ease, and of +men grateful for that ease: they know their duty, and need not a +reminding look. A servant of yours, Sir Charles, looks as if he would +one day make a figure as a master. How do you manage it? + +Perhaps I have been peculiarly fortunate in worthy servants. There is +nothing in my management deserving the attention of this company. + +I am going to begin the world anew, nephew. Hitherto, servants have been +a continual plague to me. I must know how you treat them. + +I treat them, my lord, as necessary parts of my family. I have no +secrets, the keeping or disclosing of which might give them +self-importance. I endeavour to set them no bad example. I am never +angry with them but for wilful faults: if those are not habitual, I shame +them into amendment, by gentle expostulation and forgiveness. If they +are not capable of a generous shame, and the faults grow habitual, I part +with them; but with such kindness, as makes their fellow-servants blame +them, and take warning. I am fond of seeking occasions to praise them: +and even when they mistake, if it be with a good intention, they have my +approbation of the intention, and my endeavours to set them right as to +the act. Sobriety is an indispensable qualification for my service; and +for the rest, if we receive them not quite good, we make them better than +they were before. Generally speaking, a master may make a servant what +he pleases. Servants judge by example, rather than precept, and almost +always by their feelings. One thing more permit me to add; I always +insist upon my servants being kind and compassionate to one another. A +compassionate heart cannot habitually be an unjust one. And thus do I +make their good-nature contribute to my security, as well as quiet. + +My lord was greatly pleased with what his nephew said. + +Upon some occasion, Lady G---- reflected upon a lady for prudery, and was +going on, when Sir Charles, interrupting her, said, Take care, Lady +G----. You, ladies, take care; for I am afraid, that MODESTY, under this +name, will become ignominious, and be banished the hearts, at least the +behaviour and conversation, of all those whose fortunes or inclinations +carry them often to places of public resort. + +Talk of places of public resort! said Lord L----: It is vexatious to +observe at such, how men of real merit are neglected by the fine ladies +of the age, while every distinction is shewn to fops and foplings. + +But, who, my lord, said Sir Charles, are those women? Are they not +generally of a class with those men? Flippant women love empty men, +because they cannot reproach them with a superiority of understanding, +but keep their folly in countenance. They are afraid of a wise man: but +I would by no means have such a one turn fool to please them: for they +will despise the wise man's folly more than the silly man's, and with +reason; because being uncharacteristic, it must sit more awkwardly upon +him than the other's can do. + +Yet wisdom itself, and the truest wisdom, goodness, said Mrs. Reeves, is +sometimes thought to sit ungracefully, when it is uncharacteristic, not +to the man, but to the times. She then named a person who was branded as +a hypocrite, for performing all his duties publicly. + +He will be worse spoken of, if he declines doing so, said Dr. Bartlett. +His enemies will add the charge of cowardice; and not acquit him of the +other. + +Lady Gertrude being withdrawn, it was mentioned as a wonder, that so +agreeable a woman, as she must have been in her youth, and still was for +her years, should remain single. Lord G---- said, that she had had many +offers: and once, before she was twenty, had like to have stolen a +wedding: but her fears, he said, since that, had kept her single. + +The longer, said Sir Charles, a woman remains unmarried, the more +apprehensive she will be of entering into the state. At seventeen or +eighteen a girl will plunge into it, sometimes without either fear or +wit; at twenty she will begin to think; at twenty-four will weigh and +discriminate; at twenty-eight will be afraid of venturing; at thirty will +turn about, and look down the hill she has ascended; and, as occasions +offer, and instances are given, will sometimes repent, sometimes rejoice, +that she has gained that summit sola. + +Indeed, said Mrs. Reeves, I believe in England many a poor girl goes up +the hill with a companion she would little care for, if the state of a +single woman were not here so peculiarly unprovided and helpless: for +girls of slender fortunes, if they have been genteelly brought up, how +can they, when family connexions are dissolved, support themselves? A +man can rise in a profession, and if he acquires wealth in a trade, can +get above it, and be respected. A woman is looked upon as demeaning +herself, if she gains a maintenance by her needle, or by domestic +attendance on a superior; and without them where has she a retreat? + +You speak, good Mrs. Reeves, said Sir Charles, as if you would join with +Dr. Bartlett and me in wishing the establishment of a scheme we have +often talked over, though the name of it would make many a lady start. +We want to see established in every county, Protestant Nunneries, in +which single women of small or no fortunes might live with all manner of +freedom, under such regulations as it would be a disgrace for a modest or +good woman not to comply with, were she absolutely on her own hands; and +to be allowed to quit it whenever they pleased. + +Well, brother, said Lady G----, and why could you not have got all this +settled a fortnight ago, (you that can carry every point,) and have made +poor me a lady abbess? + +You are still better provided for, my sister. But let the doctor and me +proceed with our scheme. The governesses or matrons of the society I +would have to be women of family, of unblamable characters from infancy, +and noted equally for their prudence, good-nature, and gentleness of +manners. The attendants, for the slighter services, should be the +hopeful female children of the honest industrious poor. + +Do you not, ladies, imagine, said Dr. Bartlett, that such a society as +this, all women of unblemished reputation, employing themselves as each, +(consulting her own genius,) at her admission, shall undertake to employ +herself, and supported genteelly, some at more, some at less expense to +the foundation, according to their circumstances, might become a national +good; and particularly a seminary for good wives, and the institution a +stand for virtue, in an age given up to luxury, extravagance, and +amusements little less than riotous? + +How could it be supported? said Lord W----. + +Many of the persons, of which each community would consist, would be, I +imagine, replied Sir Charles, no expense to it at all; as numbers of +young women, joining their small fortunes, might be able, in such a +society, to maintain themselves genteelly on their own income; though +each, singly in the world, would be distressed. Besides, liberty might +be given for wives, in the absence of their husbands, in this maritime +country; and for widows, who, on the deaths of theirs, might wish to +retire from the noise and hurry of the world, for three, six, or twelve +months, more or less; to reside in this well-regulated society. And such +persons, we may suppose, would be glad, according to their respective +abilities, to be benefactresses to it. No doubt but it would have +besides the countenance of the well-disposed of both sexes; since every +family in Britain, in their connexions and relations, near or distant, +might be benefited by so reputable and useful an institution: to say +nothing of the works of the ladies in it, the profits of which perhaps +will be thought proper to be carried towards the support of a foundation +that so genteelly supports them. Yet I would have a number of hours in +each day, for the encouragement of industry, that should be called their +own; and what was produced in them, to be solely appropriated to their +own use. + +A truly worthy divine, at the appointment of the bishop of the diocese, +to direct and animate the devotion of such a society, and to guard it +from that superstition and enthusiasm which soars to wild heights in +almost all nunneries, would confirm it a blessing to the kingdom. + +I have another scheme, my lord, proceeded Sir Charles--An hospital for +female penitents; for such unhappy women, as having been once drawn in, +and betrayed by the perfidy of men, find themselves, by the cruelty of +the world, and principally by that of their own sex, unable to recover +the path of virtue, when perhaps, (convinced of the wickedness of the men +in whose honour they confided,) they would willingly make their first +departure from it the last. + +These, continued he, are the poor creatures who are eminently entitled to +our pity, though they seldom meet with it. Good nature, and credulity, +the child of good nature; are generally, as I have the charity to +believe, rather than viciousness, the foundation of their crime. Those +men who pretend they would not be the first destroyers of a woman's +innocence, look upon these as fair prize. But, what a wretch is he, who +seeing a poor creature exposed on the summit of a dangerous precipice, +and unable, without an assisting hand, to find her way down, would rather +push her into the gulf below, than convey her down in safety? + +Speaking of the force put upon a daughter's inclinations in wedlock; +Tyranny and ingratitude, said Sir Charles, from a man beloved, will be +more supportable to a woman of strong passions, than even kindness from a +man she loves not: Shall not parents then, who hope to see their children +happy, avoid compelling them to give their hands to a man who has no +share in their hearts? + +But would you allow young ladies to be their own choosers, Sir Charles? +said Mr. Reeves. + +Daughters, replied he, who are earnest to choose for themselves, should +be doubly careful that prudence justifies their choice. Every widow who +marries imprudently, (and very many there are who do,) furnishes a strong +argument in favour of a parent's authority over a maiden daughter. A +designing man looks out for a woman who has an independent fortune, and +has no questions to ask. He seems assured of finding indiscretion and +rashness in such a one, to befriend him. But ought not she to think +herself affronted, and resolve to disappoint him? + +But how, said Lady G----, shall a young creature be able to judge-- + +By his application to her, rather than to her natural friends and +relations; by his endeavouring to alienate her affections from them; by +wishing her to favour private and clandestine meetings (conscious that +his pretensions will not stand discussion); by the inequality of his +fortune to hers: and has not our excellent Miss Byron, in the letters to +her Lucy, (bowing to me,) which she has had the goodness to allow us to +read, helped us to a criterion? 'Men in their addresses to young women,' +she very happily observes, 'forget not to set forward the advantages by +which they are distinguished, whether hereditary or acquired; while love, +love, is all the cry of him who has no other to boast of.' + +And by that means, said Lady Gertrude, setting the silly creature at +variance with all her friends, he makes her fight his battles for him; +and become herself the cat's paw to help him to the ready roasted +chesnuts. + +But, dear brother, said Lady G----, do you think love is such a staid +deliberate passion, as to allow a young creature to take time to ponder +and weigh all the merits of the cause? + +Love at first sight, answered Sir Charles, must indicate a mind prepared +for impression, and a sudden gust of passion, and that of the least noble +kind; since there could be no opportunity of knowing the merit of the +object. What woman would have herself supposed capable of such a tindery +fit? In a man, it is an indelicate paroxysm: but in a woman, who expects +protection and instruction from a man, much more so. Love, at first, may +be only fancy. Such a young love may be easily given up, and ought, to a +parent's judgment. Nor is the conquest so difficult as some young +creatures think it. One thing, my good Emily, let me say to you, as a +rule of some consequence in the world you are just entering into--Young +persons, on arduous occasions, especially in love-cases, should not +presume to advise young persons; because they seldom can divest +themselves of passion, partiality, or prejudice; that is, indeed, of +youth; and forbear to mix their own concerns and biases with the question +referred to them. It should not be put from young friend to young +friend, What would you do in such a case? but, What ought to be done? + +How the dear girl blushed, and how pleased she looked, to be particularly +addressed by her guardian! + +Lady Gertrude spoke of a certain father, who for interested views obliged +his daughter to marry at fifteen, when she was not only indifferent to +the man, but had formed no right notions of the state. + +And are they not unhappy? asked Sir Charles. + +They are, replied she. + +I knew such an instance, returned he. The lady was handsome, and had her +full share of vanity. She believed every man who said civil things to +her, was in love with her; and had she been single, that he would have +made his addresses to her. She supposed, that she might have had this +great man, or that, had she not been precipitated: And this brought her +to slight the man who had, as she concluded, deprived her of better +offers. They were unhappy to the end of their lives. Had the lady lived +single long enough to find out the difference between compliment and +sincerity, and that the man who flattered her vanity, meant no more than +to take advantage of her folly, she would have thought herself not +unhappy with the very man with whom she was so dissatisfied. + +Lady L---- speaking afterwards of a certain nobleman, who is continually +railing against matrimony, and who makes a very indifferent husband to an +obliging wife: I have known more men than one, said Sir Charles, inveigh +against matrimony, when the invective would have proceeded with a much +better grace from their wives' lips than from theirs. But let us +inquire, would this complainer have been, or deserved to be, happier in +any state, than he now is? + +A state of suffering, said Lady L----, had probably humbled the spirit of +the poor wife into perfect meekness and patience. + +You observe rightly, replied Sir Charles: And surely a most kind +disposition of Providence it is, that adversity, so painful in itself, +should conduce so peculiarly to the improvement of the human mind: It +teaches modesty, humility, and compassion. + +You speak feelingly brother, said Lady L----, with a sigh. Do you think, +Lucy, nobody sighed but she? + +I do, said he. I speak with a sense of gratitude: I am naturally of an +imperious spirit: But I have reaped advantages, from the early stroke of +a mother's death. Being for years, against my wishes, obliged to submit +to a kind of exile from my native country, which I considered as a heavy +evil, though I thought it my duty to acquiesce, I was determined, as much +as my capacity would allow, to make my advantage of the compulsion, by +qualifying myself to do credit, rather than discredit, to my father, my +friends, and my country. And, let me add, that if I have in any +tolerable manner succeeded, I owe much to the example and precepts of my +dear Dr. Bartlett. + +The doctor blushed and bowed, and was going to disclaim the merit which +his patron had ascribed to him; but Sir Charles confirmed it in still +stronger terms: You, my dear Dr. Bartlett, said he, as I have told Miss +Byron, was a second conscience to me in my earlier youth: Your precepts, +your excellent life, your pure manners, your sweetness of temper, could +not but open and enlarge my mind. The soil, I hope I may say, was not +barren; but you, my dear paternal friend, was the cultivator: I shall +ever acknowledge it--And he bowed to the good man; who was covered with +modest confusion, and could not look up. + +And think you, Lucy, that this acknowledgment lessened the excellent man +with any one present? No! It raised him in every eye: and I was the +more pleased with it, as it helped me to account for that deep +observation, which otherwise one should have been at a loss to account +for, in so young a man. And yet I am convinced, that there is hardly a +greater difference in intellect between angel and man, than there is +between man and man. + + + +LETTER XXIII + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +THURSDAY, APRIL 13. + + +For Heaven's sake, my dearest Harriet! dine with us to-day; for two +reasons: one relates to myself; the other you shall hear by and by: To +myself, first, as is most fit--This silly creature has offended me, and +presumed to be sullen upon my resentment. Married but two days, and shew +his airs!--Were I in fault, my dear, (which, upon my honour, I am not,) +for the man to lose his patience with me, to forget his obligations to +me, in two days!--What an ungrateful wretch is he! What a poor powerless +creature your Charlotte! + +Nobody knows of the matter, except he has complained to my brother--If he +has! But what if he has?--Alas! my dear, I am married; and cannot help +myself. + +We seem, however, to be drawing up our forces on both sides.--One +struggle for my dying liberty, my dear!--The success of one pitched +battle will determine which is to be the general, which the subaltern, +for the rest of the campaign. To dare to be sullen already!--As I hope +to live, my dear, I was in high good humour within myself; and when he +was foolish, only intended a little play with him; and he takes it in +earnest. He worships you: so I shall rally him before you: but I charge +you, as the man by his sullenness has taken upon him to fight his own +battle, either to be on my side, or be silent. I shall take it very ill +of my Harriet, if she strengthen his hands. + +Well, but enough of this husband--HUSBAND! What a word!--Who do you +think is arrived from abroad?--You cannot guess for your life--Lady +OLIVIA!--True as you are alive! accompanied, it seems, by an aunt of +hers; a widow, whose years and character are to keep the niece in +countenance in this excursion. The pretence is, making the tour of +Europe: and England was not to be left out of the scheme. My brother is +excessively disturbed at her arrival. She came to town but last night. +He had notice of it but this morning. He took Emily with him to visit +her: Emily was known to her at Florence. She and her aunt are to be here +at dinner. As she is come, Sir Charles says, he must bring her +acquainted with his sisters, and their lords, in order to be at liberty +to pursue the measures he has unalterably resolved upon: and this, +Harriet, is my second reason for urging you to dine with us. + +Now I do wish we had known her history at large. Dr. Bartlett shall tell +it us. Unwelcome as she is to my brother, I long to see her. I hope I +shall not hear something in her story, that will make me pity her. + +Will you come? + +I wonder whether she speaks English, or not. I don't think I can +converse in Italian. + +I won't forgive you, if you refuse to come. + +Lady L---- and her good man will be here. We shall therefore, if you +come, be our whole family together. + +My brother has presented this house to me, till his return. He calls +himself Lord G----'s guest and mine: so you can have no punctilio about +it. Besides, Lord W---- will set out to-morrow morning for Windsor. He +dotes upon you: and perhaps it is in your power to make a new-married man +penitent and polite. + +So you must come. + +Hang me, if I sign by any other name, while this man is in fits, than +that of + +CHARLOTTE GRANDISON. + + + +LETTER XXIV + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +THURSDAY, APRIL 13. + + +I send you enclosed a letter I received this morning from Lady G----. I +will suppose you have read it. + +Emily says, that the meeting between Sir Charles and the lady mentioned +in it, was very polite on both sides: but more cold on his than on hers. +She made some difficulty, however, of dining at his house; and her aunt, +Lady Maffei, more. But on Sir Charles's telling them, that he would +bring his elder sister to attend them thither, they complied. + +When I went to St. James's-square, Sir Charles and Lady L---- were gone +in his coach to bring the two ladies. + +Lady G---- met me on the stairs-head, leading into her dressing-room. +Not a word, said she, of the man's sullens: He repents: A fine figure, as +I told him, of a bridegroom, would he make in the eyes of foreign ladies, +at dinner, were he to retain his gloomy airs. He has begged my pardon; +as good as promised amendment; and I have forgiven him. + +Poor Lord G----, said I. + +Hush, hush! He is within: he will hear you: and then perhaps repent of +his repentance. + +She led me in: my lord had a glow in his cheeks, and looked as if he had +been nettled; and was but just recovering a smile, to help to carry off +the petulance. O how saucily did her eyes look! Well, my lord, said +she, I hope--But you say, I misunderstood--No more, madam, no more, I +beseech you-- + +Well, sir, not a word more, since you are-- + +Pray, madam-- + +Well, well, give me your hand--You must leave Harriet and me together. + +She humorously courtesied to him as he bowed to me, taking the compliment +as to herself. She nodded her head to him, as he turned back his when he +was at the door; and when he was gone, If I can but make this man +orderly, said she, I shall not quarrel with my brother for hurrying me, +as he has done. + +You are wrong, excessively wrong, Charlotte: you call my lord a silly +man, but can have no proof that he is so, but by his bearing this +treatment from you. + +None of your grave airs, my dear. The man is a good sort of man, and +will be so, if you and Lady L---- don't spoil him. I have a vast deal of +roguery, but no ill-nature, in my heart. There is luxury in jesting with +a solemn man, who wants to assume airs of privilege, and thinks he has a +right to be impertinent. I'll tell you how I will manage--I believe I +shall often try his patience, and when I am conscious that I have gone +too far, I will be patient if he is angry with me; so we shall be quits. +Then I'll begin again: he will resent: and if I find his aspect very +solemn--Come, come, no glouting, friend, I will say, and perhaps smile in +his face: I'll play you a tune, or sing you a song--Which, which! Speak +in a moment, or the humour will be off. + +If he was ready to cry before, he will laugh then, though against his +will: and as he admires my finger, and my voice, shall we not be +instantly friends? + +It signified nothing to rave at her: she will have her way. Poor Lord +G----! At my first knowledge of her, I thought her very lively; but +imagined not that she was indiscreetly so. + +Lord G----'s fondness for his saucy bride was, as I have reason to +believe, his fault: I dared not to ask for particulars of their quarrel: +and if I had, and found it so, could not, with such a rallying creature, +have entered into his defence, or censured her. + +I went down a few moments before her. Lord G---- whispered me, that he +should be the happiest man in the world, if I, who had such an influence +over her, would stand his friend. + +I hope, my lord, said I, that you will not want any influence but your +own. She has a thousand good qualities. She has charming spirits. You +will have nothing to bear with but from them. They will not last always. +Think only, that she can mean nothing by the exertion of them, but +innocent gaiety; and she will every day love your lordship the better for +bearing with her. You know she is generous and noble. + +I see, madam, said he, she has let you into-- + +She has not acquainted me with the particulars of the little +misunderstanding; only has said, that there had been a slight one; which +was quite made up. + +I am ashamed, replied he, to have it thought by Miss Byron, that there +could have been a misunderstanding between us, especially so early. She +knows her power over me. I am afraid she despises me. + +Impossible, my lord! Have you not observed, that she spares nobody when +she is in a lively humour? + +True--But here she comes!--Not a word, madam!--I bowed assenting silence. +Lord G---- said, she, approaching him, in a low voice, I shall be jealous +of your conversations with Miss Byron. + +Would to heaven, my dearest life! snatching at her withdrawn hand, +that-- + +I were half as good as Miss Byron: I understand you: but time and +patience, sir; nodding to him, and passing him. + +Admirable creature! said he, how I adore her! + +I hinted to her afterwards, his fear of her despising him. Harriet, +answered she, with a serious air, I will do my duty by him. I will abhor +my own heart, if I ever find in it the shadow of a regard for any man in +the world, inconsistent with that which he has a right to expect from me. + +I was pleased with her. And found an opportunity to communicate what she +said, in confidence, to my lord; and had his blessings for it. + +But now for some account of Lady Olivia. With which I will begin a new +letter. + + + +LETTER XXV + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION + + +Sir Charles returned with the ladies. He presented to Lady Olivia and +her aunt, Lady G----, Lord L----, and Lord W----. I was in another +apartment talking with Dr. Bartlett. Lady Olivia asked for the doctor. +He left me to pay his respects to her. + +Sir Charles being informed, that I was in the house, told Lady Olivia, +that he hoped he should have the honour of presenting to her one of our +English beauties; desiring Lady G---- to request my company. + +Lady G---- came to me--A lovely woman, I assure you, Harriet; let me lead +you to her. + +Sir Charles met me at the entrance of the drawing-room: Excuse me, madam, +said he, taking my hand, with profound respect, and allow me to introduce +to a very amiable Italian lady, one who does so much honour to Britain.-- +Miss Byron, madam, addressing himself to her, salutes you. The +advantages of person are her least perfection. + +Her face glowed. Miss Byron, said she, in French, is all loveliness. A +relation, sir? in Italian. + +He bowed; but answered not her question. + +I would sooner forgive you here, whispered Lady Olivia to Sir Charles, in +Italian, looking at me, than at Bologna. + +I heard her; and by my confusion shewed that I understood her. She was +in confusion too. + +Mademoiselle, said she, in French, understands Italian.--I am ashamed, +monsieur. + +Miss Byron does, answered Sir Charles; and French too. + +I must have the honour, said she in French, to be better known to you, +mademoiselle. + +I answered her as politely as I could in the same language. + +Lady OLIVIA is really a lovely woman. Her complexion is fine. Her face +oval. Every feature of it is delicate. Her hair is black; and, I think, +I never saw brighter black eyes in my life: if possible, they are +brighter, and shine with a more piercing lustre, than even Sir Charles +Grandison's: but yet I give his the preference; for we see in them a +benignity, that hers, though a woman's, has not; and a thoughtfulness, as +if something lay upon his mind, which nothing but patience could +overcome; yet mingled with an air that shews him to be equal to any +thing, that can be undertaken by man. While Olivia's eyes shew more fire +and impetuosity than sweetness. Had I not been told it, I should have +been sure that she has a violent spirit: but on the whole, she is a very +fine figure of a woman. + +She talked of taking a house, and staying in England a year at least; and +was determined, she said, to perfect herself in the language, and to +become an Englishwoman: but when Sir Charles, in the way of discourse, +mentioned his obligation to leave England, as on next Friday morning, how +did she and her aunt look upon each other! And how was the sunshine that +gilded her fine countenance, shut in! Surely, sir, said her aunt, you +are not in earnest! + +After dinner, the two ladies retired with Sir Charles, at his motion. +Dr. Bartlett, at Lady G----'s request, then gave us this short sketch of +her history. He said, she had a vast fortune: she had had indiscretions; +but none that had affected her character as to virtue: but her spirit +could not bear control. She had shewn herself to be vindictive, even to +a criminal degree. Lord bless me, my dear! the doctor has mentioned to +me in confidence, that she always carries a poniard about her; and that +once she used it. Had the person died, she would have been called to +public account for it. The man, it seems, was of rank, and offered some +slight affront to her. She now comes over, the doctor said, as he had +reason to believe, with a resolution to sacrifice even her religion, if +it were insisted upon, to the passion she had so long in vain endeavoured +to conquer. + +She has, he says, an utter hatred to Lady Clementina; and will not be +able to govern her passion, he is sure, when Sir Charles shall acquaint +her, that he is going to attend that lady, and her family: for he has +only mentioned his obligation to go abroad; but not said whither. + +Lord W---- praised the person of the lady, and her majestic air. Lord +L---- and Lord G---- wished to be within hearing of the conference +between her and Sir Charles: so did Lady G----: and while they were thus +wishing, in came Sir Charles, his face all in a glow; Lady L----, said +he, be so good as to attend Lady Olivia. + +She went to her; Sir Charles staid not with us: yet went not to the lady; +but into his study. Dr. Bartlett attended him there: the doctor returned +soon after to us. His noble heart is vexed, said he: Lady Olivia has +greatly disturbed him: he chooses to be alone. + +Lady L---- afterwards told us, that she found the lady in violent anguish +of spirit; her aunt endeavouring to calm her: she, however, politely +addressed herself to Lady L----, and begging her aunt to withdraw for a +few moments, she owned to her, in French, her passion for her brother: +She was not, she said, ashamed to own it to his sister, who must know +that his merit would dignify the passion of the noblest woman. She had +endeavoured, she said, to conquer hers: she had been willing to give way +to the prior attachments that he had pleaded for a lady of her own +country, Signora Clementina della Porretta, whom she allowed to have had +great merit; but who, having irrecoverably been put out of her right +mind, was shut up at Naples by a brother, who vowed eternal enmity to Sir +Charles; and from whom his life would be in the utmost hazard, if he went +over. She owned, that her chief motive for coming to England was, to +cast her fortune at her brother's feet; and, as she knew him to be a man +of honour, to comply with any terms he should propose to her. He had +offered to the family della Porretta to allow their daughter her +religion, and her confessor, and to live with her every other year in +Italy. She herself, not inferior in birth, in person, in mind, as she +said, she presumed, and superior in fortune, the riches of three branches +of her family, all rich, having centred in her, insisted not now upon +such conditions. Her aunt, she said, knew not that she proposed, on +conviction, a change of her religion; but she was resolved not to conceal +anything from Lady L----. She left her to judge how much she must be +affected, when he declared his obligation to leave England; and +especially when he owned, that it was to go to Bologna, and that so +suddenly, as if, as she apprehended at first, it was to avoid her. She +had been in tears, she said, and even would have kneeled to him, to +induce him to suspend his journey for one month, and then to have taken +her over with him, and seen her safe in her own palace, if he would go +upon so hated, and so fruitless, as well as so hazardous an errand: but +he had denied her this poor favour. + +This refusal, she owned, had put her out of all patience. She was +unhappily passionate; but was the most placable of her sex. What, madam, +said she, can affect a woman, if slight, indignity, and repulse, from a +favoured person, is not able to do it? A woman of my condition to come +over to England, to solicit--how can I support the thought--and to be +refused the protection of the man she prefers to all men; and her request +to see her safe back again, though but as the fool she came over!--You +may blame me, madam--but you must pity me, even were you to have a heart +the sister heart of your inflexible brother. + +In vain did Lady L---- plead to her Lady Clementina's deplorable +situation; the reluctance of his own relations to part with him; and the +magnanimity of his self-denial in a hundred instances, on the bare +possibility of being an instrument to restore her: she could not bear to +hear her speak highly of the unhappy lady. She charged Clementina with +the pride of her family, to which she attributed their deserved calamity; +[Deserved! Cruel lady! How could her pitiless heart allow her lips to +utter such a word!] and imputed meanness to the noblest of human minds, +for yielding to the entreaties of a family, some of the principals of +which, she said, had treated him with an arrogance that a man of his +spirit ought not to bear. + +Lady Maffei came in. She seems dependent upon her niece. She is her +aunt by marriage only: and Lady L---- speaks very favourably of her from +the advice she gave, and her remonstrances to her kinswoman. Lady Maffei +besought her to compose herself, and return to the company. + +She could not bear, she said, to return to the company, the slighted, the +contemned object, she must appear to be to every one in it. I am an +intruder, said she, haughtily; a beggar, with a fortune that would +purchase a sovereignty in some countries. Make my excuses to your +sister, to the rest of the company--and to that fine young lady--whose +eyes, by their officious withdrawing from his, and by the consciousness +that glowed in her face whenever he addressed her, betrayed, at least to +a jealous eye, more than she would wish to have seen--But tell her, that +all lovely and blooming as she is, she must have no hope, while +Clementina lives. + +I hope, Lucy, it is only to a jealous eye that my heart is so +discoverable!--I thank her for her caution. But I can say what she +cannot; that from my heart, cost me what it may, I do subscribe to a +preference in favour of a lady, who has acted, in the most arduous +trials, in a greater manner than I fear either Olivia or I could have +acted, in the same circumstances. We see that her reason, but not her +piety, deserted her in the noble struggle between her love and her +religion. In the most affecting absences of her reason, the soul of the +man she loved was the object of her passion. However hard it is to +prefer another to one's self, in such a case as this; yet if my judgment +is convinced, my acknowledgment shall follow it. Heaven will enable me +to be reconciled to the event, because I pursue the dictates of that +judgment, against the biases of my more partial heart. Let that Heaven, +which only can, restore Clementina, and dispose as it pleases of Olivia +and Harriet. We cannot either of us, I humbly hope, be so unhappy as the +lady has been whom I rank among the first of women; and whose whole +family deserves almost equal compassion. + +Lady Olivia asked Lady L----, if her brother had not a very tender regard +for me? He had, Lady L---- answered; and told her, that he had rescued +me from a very great distress; and that mine was the most grateful of +human hearts. + +She called me sweet young creature; (supposing me, I doubt not, younger +than I am;) but said, that the graces of my person and mind alarmed her +not, as they would have done, had not his attachment to Clementina been +what now she saw, but never could have believed it was; having supposed, +that compassion only was the tie that bound him to her. + +But compassion, Lucy, from such a heart as his, the merit so great in the +lady, must be love; a love of the nobler kind--And if it were not, it +would be unworthy of Clementina's. + +Lady Maffei called upon her dignity, her birth, to carry her above a +passion that met not with a grateful return. She advised her to dispose +herself to stay in England some months, now she was here. And as her +friends in Italy would suppose what her view was in coming to England, +their censures would be obviated by her continuing here for some time, +while Sir Charles was abroad, and in Italy: and that she should divert +herself with visiting the court, the public places, and in seeing the +principal curiosities of this kingdom, as she had done those of others; +in order to give credit to an excursion that might otherwise be freely +spoken of, in her own country. + +She seemed to listen to this advice. She bespoke, and was promised, the +friendship of the two sisters; and included in her request, through their +interests, mine; and Lady G---- was called in, by her sister, to join in +the promise. + +She desired that Sir Charles might be requested to walk in; but would not +suffer the sisters to withdraw, as they would have done, when he +returned. He could not but be polite; but, it seems, looked still +disturbed. I beg you to excuse, sir, said she, my behaviour to you: it +was passionate; it was unbecoming. But, in compliment to your own +consequence, you ought to excuse it. I have only to request one favour +of you: That you will suspend for one week, in regard to me, your +proposed journey; but for one week; and I will, now I am in England, stay +some months; perhaps till your return. + +Excuse me, madam. + +I will not excuse you--But one week, sir. Give me so much importance +with myself, as for one week's suspension. You will. You must. + +Indeed I cannot. My soul, I own to you, is in the distresses of the +family of Porretta. Why should I repeat what I said to you before? + +I have bespoken, sir, the civilities of your sisters, of your family: you +forbid them not? + +You expect not an answer, madam, to that question. My sisters will be +glad, and so will their lords, to attend you wherever you please, with a +hope to make England agreeable to you. + +How long do you propose to stay in Italy, sir? + +It is not possible for me to determine. + +Are you not apprehensive of danger to your person? + +I am not. + +You ought to be. + +No danger shall deter me from doing what I think to be right. If my +motives justify me, I cannot fear. + +Do you wish me, sir, to stay in England till your return? + +A question so home put, disturbed him. Was it a prudent one in the lady? +It must either subject her to a repulse; or him, by a polite answer, to +give her hope, that her stay in England might not be fruitless, as to the +view she had in coming. He reddened. It is fit, answered he, that your +own pleasure should determine you. It did, pardon me, madam, in your +journey hither. + +She reddened to her very ears. Your brother, ladies, has the reputation +of being a polite man: bear witness to this instance of it. I am ashamed +of myself! + +If I am unpolite, madam, my sincerity will be my excuse; at least to my +own heart. + +O, that inflexible heart! But, ladies, if the inhospitable Englishman +refuse his protection in his own country, to a foreign woman, of no mean +quality; do not you, his sisters, despise her. + +They, madam, and their lords, will render you every cheerful service. +Let me request you, my sisters, to make England as agreeable as possible +to this lady. She is of the first consideration in her own country: she +will be of such wherever she goes. My Lady Maffei deserves likewise your +utmost respect. Then addressing himself to them; Ladies, said he, +encourage my sisters: they will think themselves honoured by your +commands. + +The two sisters confirmed, in an obliging manner, what their brother had +said; and both ladies acknowledged themselves indebted to them for their +offered friendship: but Lady Olivia seemed not at all satisfied with +their brother: and it was with some difficulty he prevailed on her to +return to the company, and drink coffee. + +I could not help reflecting, on occasion of this lady's conduct, that +fathers and mothers are great blessings, to daughters, in particular, +even when women grown. It is not every woman that will shine in a state +of independency. Great fortunes are snares. If independent women escape +the machinations of men, which they have often a difficulty to do, they +will frequently be hurried by their own imaginations, which are said to +be livelier than those of men, though their judgments are supposed less, +into inconveniencies. Had Lady Olivia's parents or uncles lived, she +hardly would have been permitted to make the tour of Europe: and not +having so great a fortune to support vagaries, would have shone, as she +is well qualified to do, in a dependent state, in Italy, and made some +worthy man and herself happy. + +Had she a mind great enough to induce her to pity Clementina, I should +have been apt to pity her; for I saw her soul was disturbed. I saw that +the man she loved was not able to return her love: a pitiable case!--I +saw a starting tear now and then with difficulty dispersed. Once she +rubbed her eye, and, being conscious of observation, said something had +got into it: so it had. The something was a tear. Yet she looked with +haughtiness, and her bosom swelled with indignation ill concealed. + +Sir Charles repeated his recommendation of her to Lord L---- and Lord +G----. They offered their best services: Lord W---- invited her and all +of us to Windsor. Different parties of pleasure were talked of: but +still the enlivener of every party was not to be in any one of them. She +tried to look pleased; but did not always succeed in the trial: an eye of +love and anger mingled was often cast upon the man whom everybody loved. +Her bosom heaved, as it seemed sometimes, with indignation against +herself: that was the construction which I made of some of her looks. + +Lady Maffei, however, seemed pleased with the parties of pleasure talked +of. She often directed herself to me in Italian. I answered her in it +as well as I could. I do not talk it well: but as I am not an Italian, +and little more than book-learned in it, (for it is a long time ago since +I lost my grandpapa, who used to converse with me in it, and in French,) +I was not scrupulous to answer in it. To have forborne, because I did +not excel in what I had no opportunity to excel in, would have been false +modesty, nearly bordering upon pride. Were any lady to laugh at me for +not speaking well her native tongue, I would not return the smile, were +she to be less perfect in mine, than I am in hers. But Lady Olivia made +me a compliment on my faulty accent, when I acknowledged it to be so. +Signora, said she, you shew us, that a pretty mouth can give beauty to a +defect. A master teaching you, added she, would perhaps find some fault; +but a friend conversing with you, must be in love with you for the very +imperfection. + +Sir Charles was generously pleased with the compliment, and made her a +fine one on her observation. + +He attended the two ladies to their lodgings in his coach. He owned to +Dr. Bartlett, that Lady Olivia was in tears all the way, lamenting her +disgrace in coming to England, just as he was quitting it; and wishing +she had stayed at Florence. She would have engaged him to correspond +with her: he excused himself. It was a very afflicting thing to him, he +told the doctor, to deny any request that was made to him, especially by +a lady: but he thought he ought in conscience and honour to forbear +giving the shadow of an expectation that might be improved into hope, +where none was intended to be given. Heaven, he said, had, for laudable +ends, implanted such a regard in the sexes towards each other, that both +man and woman who hoped to be innocent, could not be too circumspect in +relation to the friendships they were so ready to contract with each +other. He thought he had gone a great way, in recommending an intimacy +between her and his sisters, considering her views, her spirit, her +perseverance, and the free avowal of her regard for him, and her menaces +on his supposed neglect of her. And yet, as she had come over, and he +was obliged to leave England so soon after her arrival; he thought he +could not do less: and he hoped his sisters, from whose example she might +be benefited, would, while she behaved prudently, cultivate her +acquaintance. + +The doctor tells me, that now Lady Olivia is so unexpectedly come hither +in person, he thinks it best to decline giving me, as he had once +intended, her history at large; but will leave so much of it as may +satisfy my curiosity, to be gathered from my own observation; and not +only from the violence and haughtiness of her temper, but from the +freedom of her declarations. He is sure, he said, that his patron will +be best pleased, that a veil should be thrown over the weaker part of her +conduct; which, were it known, would indeed be glorious to Sir Charles, +but not so to the lady; who, however, never was suspected, even by her +enemies, of giving any other man reason to tax her with a thought that +was not strictly virtuous: and she had engaged his pity and esteem, for +the sake of her other fine qualities, though she could not his love. +Before she saw him (which, it seems, was at the opera at Florence for the +first time, when he had an opportunity to pay her some slight civilities) +she set all men at defiance. + +To-morrow morning Sir Charles is to breakfast with me. My cousins and I +are to dine at Lord L----'s. The Earl and Lady Gertrude are also to be +there. Lord W---- has been prevailed upon to stay, and be there also, as +it is his nephew's last day in England.--'Last day in England!' O, my +Lucy! what words are those!--Lady L---- has invited Lady Olivia and her +aunt, at her own motion, Sir Charles (his time being so short) not +disapproving. + +I thank my grandmamma and aunt for their kind summons. I will soon set +my day: I will, my dear, soon set my day. + + + +LETTER XXVI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +FRIDAY NOON, APRIL 14. + + +Not five hours in bed; not one hour's rest for many uneasy nights before; +I was stupid till Sir Charles came: I then was better. He inquired, with +tender looks and voice, after my health; as if he thought I did not look +well. + +We had some talk about Lord and Lady G----. He was anxious for their +happiness. He complimented me with hopes from my advice to her. Lord +G----, he said, was a good-natured honest man. If he thought his sister +would make him unhappy, he should himself be so. + +I told him, that I dared to answer for her heart. My lord must bear with +some innocent foibles, and all would be well. + +We then talked of Lady Olivia. He began the subject, by asking me my +opinion of her. I said she was a very fine woman in her person; and that +she had an air of grandeur in her mien. + +And she has good qualities, said he; but she is violent in her passions. +I am frequently grieved for her. She is a fine creature in danger of +being lost, by being made too soon her own mistress. + +He said not one word of his departure to-morrow morning: I could not +begin it; my heart would not let me; my spirits were not high: and I am +afraid, if that key had been touched, I should have been too visibly +affected. My cousins forbore, upon the same apprehension. + +He was excessively tender and soothing to me, in his air, his voice, his +manner. I thought of what Emily said; that his voice, when he spoke of +me, was the voice of love. Dear flattering girl!--But why did she +flatter me? + +We talked of her next. He spoke of her with the tenderness of a father. +He besought me to love her. He praised her heart. + +Emily, said I, venerates her guardian. She never will do any thing +contrary to his advice. + +She is very young, replied he. She will be happy, madam, in yours. She +both loves and reverences you. + +I greatly love the dear Emily, sir. She and I shall be always sisters. + +How happy am I, in your goodness to her! Permit me, madam, to enumerate +to you my own felicities in that of my dearest friends. + +Mr. Beauchamp is now in the agreeable situation I have long wished him to +be in. His prudence and obliging behaviour to his mother-in-law, have +won her. His father grants him every thing through her; and she, by this +means, finds that power enlarged which she was afraid would be lessened, +if the son were allowed to come over. How just is this reward of his +filial duty! + +Thus, Lucy, did he give up the merit to his Beauchamp, which was solely +due to himself. + +Lord W----, he hoped, would be soon one of the happiest men in England: +and the whole Mansfield family had now fair prospects opening before +them. + +Emily [not he, you see] had made it the interest of her mother to be +quiet. + +Lord and Lady L---- gave him pleasure whenever he saw them, or thought of +them. + +Dr. Bartlett was in heaven, while on earth. He would retire to his +beloved Grandison-hall, and employ himself in distributing, as objects +offered, at least a thousand pounds of the three thousand bequeathed to +charitable uses by his late friend Mr. Danby. His sister's fortune was +paid. His estates in both kingdoms were improving.--See, madam, said he, +how like the friend of my soul I claim your attention to affairs that are +of consequence to myself; and in some of which your generosity of heart +has interested you. + +I bowed. Had I spoken, I had burst into tears. I had something arose in +my throat, I know not what. Still, thought I, excellent man, you are not +yourself happy!--O pity! pity! Yet, Lucy, he plainly had been +enumerating all these things, to take off from my mind that impression +which I am afraid he too well knows it is affected with, from his +difficult situation. + +And now, madam, resumed he, how are all my dear and good friends, whom +you more particularly call yours?--I hope to have the honour of a +personal knowledge of them. When heard you of our good Mr. Deane? He is +well, I hope. + +Very well, Sir. + +Your grandmamma Shirley, that ornament of advanced years? + +I bowed: I dared not to trust my voice. + +Your excellent aunt, Selby? + +I bowed again. + +Your uncle, your Lucy, your Nancy: Happy family! All harmony! all love! +--How do they? + +I wiped my eyes. + +Is there any service in my power to do them, or any of them? Command me, +good Miss Byron, if there be: my Lord W---- and I are one. Our influence +is not small.--Make me still more happy, in the power of serving any one +favoured by you. + +You oppress me, sir, by your goodness!--I cannot speak my grateful +sensibilities. + +Will you, my dear Mr. Reeves, will you, madam, (to my cousin,) employ me +in any way that I can be of use to you, either abroad or at home? Your +acquaintance has given me great pleasure. To what a family of worthies +has this excellent young lady introduced me! + +O, sir! said Mrs. Reeves, tears running down her cheeks, that you were +not to leave people whom you have made so happy in the knowledge of the +best of men! + +Indispensable calls must be obeyed, my dear Mrs. Reeves. If we cannot be +as happy as we wish, we will rejoice in the happiness we can have. We +must not be our own carvers.--But I make you all serious. I was +enumerating, as I told you, my present felicities: I was rejoicing in +your friendships. I have joy; and, I presume to say, I will have joy. +There is a bright side in every event; I will not lose sight of it: and +there is a dark one; but I will endeavour to see it only with the eye of +prudence, that I may not be involved by it at unawares. Who that is not +reproached by his own heart, and is blessed with health, can grieve for +inevitable evils; evils that can be only evils as we make them so? +Forgive my seriousness: my dear friends, you make me grave. Favour me, I +beseech you, my good Miss Byron, with one lesson: we shall be too much +engaged, perhaps, by and by. + +He led me (I thought it was with a cheerful air; but my cousins both say, +his eyes glistened) to the harpsichord: He sung unasked, but with a low +voice; and my mind was calmed. O, Lucy! How can I part with such a man? +How can I take my leave of him?--But perhaps he has taken his leave of me +already, as to the solemnity of it, in the manner I have recited. + + + +LETTER XXVII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SATURDAY MORNING, APRIL 15. + + +O, Lucy, Sir Charles Grandison is gone! Gone indeed! He set out at +three this morning; on purpose, no doubt, to spare his sisters, and +friends, as well as himself, concern. + +We broke not up till after two. Were I in the writing humour which I +have never known to fail me till now, I could dwell upon a hundred +things, some of which I can now only briefly mention. + +Dinner-time yesterday passed with tolerable cheerfulness: every one tried +to be cheerful. O what pain attends loving too well, and being too well +beloved! He must have pain, as well as we. + +Lady Olivia was the most thoughtful, at dinnertime; yet poor Emily! Ah, +the poor Emily! she went out four or five times to weep; though only I +perceived it. + +Nobody was cheerful after dinner but Sir Charles. He seemed to exert +himself to be so. He prevailed on me to give them a lesson on the +harpsichord. Lady L---- played: Lady G---- played: we tried to play, I +should rather say. He himself took the violin, and afterwards sat down +to the harpsichord, for one short lesson. He was not known to be such a +master: but he was long in Italy. Lady Olivia indeed knew him to be so. +She was induced to play upon the harpsichord: she surpassed every body. +Italy is the land of harmony. + +About seven at night he singled me out, and surprised me greatly by what +he said. He told me, that Lady D---- had made him a visit. I was before +low: I was then ready to sink. She has asked me questions, madam. + +Sir, sir! was all I could say. + +He himself trembled as he spoke.--Alas! my dear, he surely loves me! +Hear how solemnly he spoke--God Almighty be your director, my dear Miss +Byron! I wish not more happiness to my own soul, than I do to you.--In +discharge of a promise made, I mention this visit to you: I might +otherwise have spared you, and myself-- + +He stopt there--Then resumed; for I was silent. I could not speak--Your +friends will be entreated for a man that loves you; a very worthy young +nobleman.--I give you emotion, madam.--Forgive me.--I have performed my +promise. He turned from me with a seeming cheerful air. How could he +appear to be cheerful! + +We made parties at cards. I knew not what I played. Emily sighed, and +tears stole down her cheeks, as she played. O how she loves her +guardian! Emily, I say--I don't know what I write! + +At supper we were all very melancholy. Mr. Beauchamp was urgent to go +abroad with him. He changed the subject, and gave him an indirect +denial, as I may call it, by recommending the two Italian ladies to his +best services. + +Sir Charles, kind, good, excellent! wished to Lord L---- to have seen Mr. +Grandison!--unworthy as that man has made himself of his attention. + +He was a few moments in private with Lady Olivia. She returned to +company with red eyes. + +Poor Emily watched an opportunity to be spoken to by him alone--So +diligently!--He led her to the window--About one o'clock it was--He held +both her hands. He called her, she says, his Emily. He charged her to +write to him. + +She could not speak; she could only sob; yet thought she had a thousand +things to say to him. + +He contradicted not the hope his sisters and their lords had of his +breakfasting with them. They invited me; they invited the Italian +ladies: Lady L----, Lord L----, did go, in expectation: but Lady G----, +when she found him gone, sent me and the Italian ladies word, that he +was. It would have been cruel, if she had not. How could he steal away +so! I find, that he intended that his morning visit to me (as indeed I +half-suspected) should be a taking leave of my cousins, and your Harriet. +How many things did he say then--How many questions ask--In tender woe-- +He wanted to do us all service--He seemed not to know what to say--Surely +he hates not your poor Harriet--What struggles in his noble bosom!--But a +man cannot complain: a man cannot ask for compassion, as a woman can. +But surely his is the gentlest of manly minds! + +When we broke up, he handed my cousin Reeves into her coach. He handed +me. Mr. Reeves said, We see you again, Sir Charles, in the morning? He +bowed. At handing me in, he sighed--He pressed my hand--I think he did-- +That was all--He saluted nobody. He will not meet his Clementina as he +parted with us. + +But, I doubt not, Dr. Bartlett was in the secret. + + +He was. He has just been here. He found my eyes swelled. I had had no +rest; yet knew not, till seven o'clock, that he was gone. + +It was very good of the doctor to come: his visit soothed me: yet he took +no notice of my red eyes. Nay, for that matter, Mrs. Reeves's eyes were +swelled, as well as mine. Angel of a man! how is he beloved! + +The doctor says, that his sisters, their lords, Lord W----, are in as +much grief as if he were departed for ever--And who knows--But I will not +torment myself with supposing the worst: I will endeavour to bear in mind +what he said yesterday morning to us, no doubt for an instruction, that +he would have joy. + +And did he then think that I should be so much grieved as to want such an +instruction?--And, therefore, did he vouchsafe to give it?--But, vanity, +be quiet--Lie down, hope--Hopelesness, take place! Clementina shall be +his. He shall be hers. + +Yet his emotion, Lucy, at mentioning Lady D----'s visit--O! but that was +only owing to his humanity. He saw my emotion; and acknowledged the +tenderest friendship for me! Ought I not to be satisfied with that? I +am. I will be satisfied. Does he not love me with the love of mind? +The poor Olivia has not this to comfort herself with. The poor Olivia! +if I see her sad and afflicted, how I shall pity her! All her +expectations frustrated; the expectations that engaged her to combat +difficulties, to travel, to cross many waters, and to come to England--to +come just time enough to take leave of him; he hastening on the wings of +love and compassion to a dearer, a deservedly dearer object, in the +country she had quitted, on purpose to visit him in his--Is not hers a +more grievous situation than mine?--It is. Why, then, do I lament? + +But here, Lucy, let me in confidence hint, what I have gathered from +several intimations from Dr. Bartlett, though as tenderly made by him as +possible, that had Sir Charles Grandison been a man capable of taking +advantage of the violence of a lady's passion for him, the unhappy Olivia +would not have scrupled, great, haughty, and noble, as she is, by birth +and fortune, to have been his, without conditions, if she could not have +been so with: The Italian world is of this opinion, at least. Had Sir +Charles been a Rinaldo, Olivia had been an Armida. + +O that I could hope, for the honour of the sex, and of the lady who is so +fine a woman, that the Italian world is mistaken!--I will presume that it +is. + +My good Dr. Bartlett, will you allow me to accuse you of a virtue too +rigorous? That is sometimes the fault of very good people. You own that +Sir Charles has not, even to you, revealed a secret so disgraceful to +her. You own, that he has only blamed her for having too little regard +for her reputation, and for the violence of her temper: yet how +patiently, for one of such a temper, has she taken his departure, almost +on the day of her arrival! He could not have given her an opportunity to +indicate to him a concession so criminal: she could not, if he had, have +made the overture. Wicked, wicked world! I will not believe you! And +the less credit shall you have with me, Italian world, as I have seen the +lady. The innocent heart will be a charitable one. Lady Olivia is only +too intrepid. Prosperity, as Sir Charles observed, has been a snare to +her, and set her above a proper regard to her reputation.--Merciless +world! I do not love you. Dear Dr. Bartlett, you are not yet absolutely +perfect! These hints of yours against Olivia, gathered from the +malevolence of the envious, are proofs (the first indeed that I have met +with) of your imperfection! + +Excuse me, Lucy: how have I run on! Disappointment has mortified me, and +made me good-natured.--I will welcome adversity, if it enlarge my +charity. + +The doctor tells me, that Emily, with her half-broken heart, will be here +presently. If I can be of comfort to her--But I want it myself, from the +same cause. We shall only weep over each other. + +As I told you, the doctor, and the doctor only, knew of his setting out +so early. He took leave of him. Happy Dr. Bartlett!--Yet I see by his +eyes, that this parting cost him some paternal tears. + +Never father better loved a son than this good man loves Sir Charles +Grandison. + +Sir Charles, it seems, had settled all his affairs three days before. +His servants were appointed. + +The doctor tells me, that he had last week presented the elder Mr. Oldham +with a pair of colours, which he had purchased for him. Nobody had heard +of this. + +Lord W----, he says, is preparing for Windsor; Mr. Beauchamp for +Hampshire, for a few days; and then he returns to attend the commands of +the noble Italians. + +Lady Olivia will soon have her equipage ready. + +She will make a great appearance.--But Sir Charles Grandison will not be +with her. What is grandeur to a disturbed heart? + +The Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude are setting out for Hertfordshire. +Lord and Lady L---- talk of retiring, for a few weeks, to Colnebrook: the +Doctor is preparing for Grandison-hall; your poor Harriet for +Northamptonshire--Bless me, my dear, what a dispersion!--But Lord W----'s +nuptials will collect some of them together at Windsor. + + +*** + + +Emily, the dear weeping girl! is just come. She is with my cousins. She +expects my permission for coming up to me. Imagine us weeping over each +other; praying for, blessing the guardian of us both. Your imagination +cannot form a scene too tender. + +Adieu, my Lucy. + + + +LETTER XXVIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SUNDAY, APRIL 16. + + +O, what a blank, my dear!--but I need not say what I was going to say. +Poor Emily!--But, to mention her grief, is to paint my own. + +Lord W---- went to Windsor yesterday. + +A very odd behaviour of Lady Olivia. Mr. Beauchamp went yesterday, and +offered to attend her to any of the public places, at her pleasure; in +pursuance of Sir Charles's reference to him, to do all in his power to +make England agreeable to her: and she thought fit to tell him before her +aunt, that she thanked him for his civility; but she should not trouble +him during her stay in England. She had gentlemen in her train; and one +of them had been in England before-- + +He left her in disgust. + +Lady L---- making her a visit in the evening, she told her of Mr. +Beauchamp's offer, and of her answer. The gentleman, said she, is a +polite and very agreeable man; and this made me treat his kind offer with +abruptness: for I can hardly doubt your brother's view in it. I scorn +his view: and if I were sure of it, perhaps I should find a way to make +him repent of the indignity. Lady L---- was sure, she said, that neither +her brother, nor Mr. Beauchamp, had any other views than to make England +as agreeable to her as possible. + +Be this as it may, madam, said she, I have no service for Mr. Beauchamp: +but if your Ladyship, your sister, and your two lords, will allow me to +cultivate your friendship, you will do me honour. Dr. Bartlett's company +will be very agreeable to me likewise, as often as he will give it me. +To Miss Jervois I lay some little claim. I would have had her for my +companion in Italy; but your cruel brother--No more, however, of him. +Your English beauty too, I admire her: but, poor young creature, I admire +her the more, because I can pity her. I should think myself very happy +to be better acquainted with her. + +Lady L---- made her a very polite answer for herself and her sister, and +their lords: but told her, that I was very soon to set out for my own +abode in Northamptonshire; and that Dr. Bartlett had some commissions, +which would oblige him, in a day or two, to go to Sir Charles's seat in +the country. She herself offered to attend her to Windsor, and to every +other place, at her command. + +Lady L---- took notice of her wrist being bound round with a broad black +ribband, and asked, If it were hurt? A kind of sprain, said she. But +you little imagine how it came; and must not ask. + +This made Lady L---- curious. And Olivia requesting that Emily might be +allowed to breakfast with her as this morning; she has bid the dear girl +endeavour to know how it came, if it fell in her way: for Olivia +reddened, and looked up, with a kind of consciousness, to Lady L----, +when she told her that she must not ask questions about it. + +Lady G---- is very earnest with me to give into the town diversions for a +month to come: but I have now no desire in my heart so strong, as to +throw myself at the feet of my grandmamma and aunt; and to be embraced by +my Lucy and Nancy, and all my Northamptonshire friends. + +I am only afraid of my uncle. He will rally his Harriet; yet only, I +know, in hopes to divert her, and us all: but my jesting days are over: +my situation will not bear it. Yet if it will divert himself, let him +rally. + +I shall be so much importuned to stay longer than I ought, or will stay, +that I may as well fix a peremptory day at once. Will you, my ever +indulgent friends, allow me to set out for Selby-house on Friday +next? Not on a Sunday, as Lady Betty Williams advises, for fear of the +odious waggons. But I have been in a different school. Sir Charles +Grandison, I find, makes it a tacit rule with him, Never to begin a +journey on a Sunday; nor, except when in pursuit of works of mercy or +necessity, to travel in time of divine service. And this rule he +observed last Sunday, though he reached us here in the evening. O my +grandmamma! How much is he, what you all are, and ever have been!--But +he is now pursuing a work of mercy. God succeed to him the end of his +pursuit! + +But why tacit? you will ask. Is Sir Charles Grandison ashamed to make an +open appearance in behalf of his Christian duties? He is not. For +instance; I have never seen him sit down at his own table, in the absence +of Dr. Bartlett, or some other clergyman, but he himself says grace; and +that with such an easy dignity, as commands every one's reverence; and +which is succeeded by a cheerfulness that looks as if he were the better +pleased for having shewn a thankful heart. + +Dr. Bartlett has also told me, that he begins and ends every day, either +in his chamber, or in his study, in a manner worthy of one who is in +earnest in his Christian profession. But he never frights gay company +with grave maxims. I remember, one day, Mr. Grandison asked him, in his +absurd way, Why he did not preach to his company now and then? Faith, +Sir Charles, said he, if you did, you would reform many a poor ignorant +sinner of us; since you could do it with more weight, and more certainty +of attention, than any parson in Christendom. + +It would be an affront, said Sir Charles, to the understanding, as well +as education, of a man who took rank above a peasant, in such a country +as this, to seem to question whether he knew his general duties, or not, +and the necessity of practising what he knew of them. If he should be at +a loss, he may once a week be reminded, and his heart kept warm. Let you +and me, cousin Everard, shew our conviction by our practice; and not +invade the clergyman's province. + +I remember that Mr. Grandison shewed his conviction by his blushes; and +by repeating the three little words, You and me! Sir Charles. + + +*** + + +SUNDAY EVENING. + +O my dear friends! I have a strange, a shocking piece of intelligence to +give you! Emily has just been with me in tears: she begged to speak with +me in private. When we were alone, she threw her arms about my neck: Ah, +madam! said she, I am come to tell you, that there is a person in the +world that I hate, and must and will hate, as long as I live. It is Lady +Olivia.--Take me down with you into Northamptonshire, and never let me +see her more. + +I was surprised. + +O madam! I have found out, that she would, on Thursday last, have killed +my guardian. + +I was astonished, Lucy. + +They retired together, you know, madam: my guardian came from her, his +face in a glow; and he sent in his sister to her, and went not in himself +till afterwards. She would have had him put off his journey. She was +enraged because he would not; and they were high together; and, at last, +she pulled out of her stays, in fury, a poniard, and vowed to plunge it +into his heart. He should never, she said, see his Clementina more. He +went to her. Her heart failed her. Well it might, you know, madam. He +seized her hand. He took it from her. She struggled, and in struggling +her wrist was hurt; that's the meaning of the broad black ribband!-- +Wicked creature! to have such a thought in her heart!--He only said, when +he had got it from her, Unhappy, violent woman! I return not this +instrument of mischief! You will have no use for it in England--And +would not let her have it again. + +I shuddered. O my dear, said I, he has been a sufferer, we are told, by +good women; but this is not a good woman. But can it be true? Who +informed you of it? + +Lady Maffei herself. She thought that Sir Charles must have spoken of +it: and when she found he had not, she was sorry she had, and begged I +would not tell any body: but I could not keep it from you. And she says, +that Lady Olivia is grieved on the remembrance of it; and arraigns +herself and her wicked passion; and the more, for his noble forgiveness +of her on the spot, and recommending her afterwards to the civilities of +his sisters, and their lords. But I hate her, for all that. + +Poor unhappy Olivia! said I. But what, my Emily, are we women, who +should be the meekest and tenderest of the whole animal creation, when we +give way to passion! But if she is so penitent, let not the shocking +attempt be known to his sisters, or their lords. I may take the liberty +of mentioning it, in strict confidence, [observe that, Lucy,] to those +from whom I keep not any secret: but let it not be divulged to any of the +relations of Sir Charles. Their detestation of her, which must follow, +would not be concealed; and the unhappy creature, made desperate, might-- +Who knows what she might do? + +The dear girl ran on upon what might have been the consequence, and what +a loss the world would have had, if the horrid fact had been perpetrated. +Lady Maffei told her, however, that had not her heart relented, she might +have done him mischief; for he was too rash in approaching her. She fell +down on her knees to him, as soon as he had wrested the poniard from her. +I forgive, and pity you, madam, said he, with an air that had, as Olivia +and her aunt have recollected since, both majesty and compassion in it: +but, against her entreaty, he would withdraw: yet, at her request, sent +in Lady L---- to her; and, going into his study, told not even Dr. +Bartlett of it, though he went to him there immediately. + +From the consciousness of this violence, perhaps, the lady was more +temperate afterwards, even to the very time of his departure. + + +*** + + +Lord bless me, what shall I do? Lady D---- has sent a card to let me +know, that she will wait upon Mrs. Reeves and me to-marrow to breakfast. +She comes, no doubt, to tell me, that Sir Charles having no thoughts of +Harriet Byron, Lord D---- may have hopes of succeeding with her: and, +perhaps, her ladyship will plead Sir Charles's recommendation and +interest in Lord D----'s favour. But should this plea be made, good +Heaven give me patience! I am afraid I shall be uncivil to this +excellent woman. + + + +LETTER XXIX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +MONDAY, APRIL 17. + + +The countess is just gone. + +Mr. Reeves was engaged before to breakfast with Lady Betty Williams; and +we were only Mrs. Reeves, Lady D----, and I. + +My heart ached at her entrance; and every moment still more, as we were +at breakfast. Her looks, I thought, had such particular kindness and +meaning in them, as seemed to express, 'You have no hopes, Miss Byron, +any where else; and I will have you to be mine.' + +But my suspense was over the moment the tea-table was removed. I see +your confusion, my dear, said the countess: [Mrs. Reeves, you must not +leave us;] and I have sat in pain for you, as I saw it increase. By this +I know that Sir Charles Grandison has been as good as his word. Indeed I +doubted not but he would. I don't wonder, my dear, that you love him. +He is the finest man in his manners, as well as person, that I ever saw. +A woman of virtue and honour cannot but love him. But I need not praise +him to you; nor to you, neither, Mrs. Reeves; I see that. Now you must +know, proceeded she, that there is an alliance proposed for my son, of +which I think very well; but still should have thought better, had I +never seen you, my dear. I have talked to my lord about it: you know I +am very desirous to have him married. His answer was; I never can think +of any proposal of this nature, while I have any hope that I can make +myself acceptable to Miss Byron. + +What think you, my lord, said I, if I should directly apply to Sir +Charles Grandison, to know his intentions; and whether he has any hopes +of obtaining her favour? He is said to be the most unreserved of men. +He knows our characters to be as unexceptionable as his own; and that our +alliance cannot be thought a discredit to the first family in the +kingdom. It is a free question, I own; as I am unacquainted with him by +person: but he is such a man, that methinks I can take pleasure in +addressing myself to him on any subject. + +My lord smiled at the freedom of my motion; but, not disapproving it, I +directly went to Sir Charles; and, after due compliments, told him my +business. + +The countess stopt. She is very penetrating. She looked at us both. + +Well, madam, said my cousin, with an air of curiosity--Pray, your +ladyship-- + +I could not speak for very impatience-- + +I never heard in my life, said the countess, such a fine character of any +mortal, as he gave you. He told me of his engagements to go abroad as +the very next day. He highly extolled the lady for whose sake, +principally, he was obliged to go abroad; and he spoke as highly of a +brother of hers, whom he loved as if he were his own brother; and +mentioned very affectionately the young lady's whole family. + +'God only knows,' said he, 'what may be my destiny!--As generosity, as +justice, or rather as Providence, leads, I will follow.' + +After he had generously opened his heart, proceeded the countess, I asked +him, If he had any hope, should the foreign lady recover her health, of +her being his? + +'I can promise myself nothing,' said he. 'I go over without one selfish +hope. If the lady recover her health, and her brother can be amended in +his, by the assistance I shall carry over with me, I shall have joy +inexpressible. To Providence I leave the rest. The result cannot be in +my own power.' + +Then, sir, proceeded the countess, you cannot in honour be under any +engagements to Miss Byron? + +I arose from my seat. Whither, my dear?--I have done, if I oppress you. +I moved my chair behind hers, but so close to hers, that I leaned on the +back of it, my face hid, and my eyes running over. She stood up. Sit +down again, madam, said I, and proceed--Pray proceed. You have excited +my curiosity. Only let me sit here, unheeded, behind you. + +Pray, madam, said Mrs. Reeves, (burning also with curiosity, as she has +since owned,) go on; and indulge my cousin in her present seat. What +answer did Sir Charles return? + +My dear love, said the countess, (sitting down, as I had requested,) let +me first be answered one question. I would not do mischief. + +You cannot do mischief, madam, replied I. What is your ladyship's +question? + +Has Sir Charles Grandison ever directly made his addresses to you, my +dear? + +Never, madam. + +It is not for want of love, I dare aver, that he has not. But thus he +answered my question: 'I should have thought myself the unworthiest of +men, knowing the difficulties of my own situation, how great soever were +the temptation from Miss Byron's merit if I had sought to engage her +affections.' + +[O, Lucy! How nobly is his whole conduct towards me justified!] + +'She has, madam,' (proceeded the countess, in his words,) 'a prudence +that I never knew equalled in a woman so young. With a frankness of +mind, to which hardly ever young lady before her had pretensions, she has +such a command of her affections, that no man, I dare say, will ever have +a share in them, till he has courted her favour by assiduities which +shall convince her that he has no heart but for her.' + +O my Lucy! What an honour to me would these sentiments be, if I deserved +them! And can Sir Charles Grandison think I do?--I hope so. But if he +does, how much am I indebted to his favourable, his generous opinion! +Who knows but I have reason to rejoice, rather than to regret, as I used +to do, his frequent absences from Colnebrook? + +The countess proceeded. + +Then, sir, you will not take it amiss, if my son, by his assiduities, can +prevail upon Miss Byron to think that he has merit, and that his heart is +wholly devoted to her. + +'Amiss, madam!--No!--In justice, in honour, I cannot. May Miss Byron be, +as she deserves to be, one of the happiest women on earth in her +nuptials. I have heard a great character of Lord D----. He has a very +large estate. He may boast of his mother--God forbid, that I, a man +divided in myself, not knowing what I can do, hardly sometimes what I +ought to do, should seek to involve in my own uncertainties the friend I +revere; the woman I so greatly admire: her beauty so attracting; so +proper therefore for her to engage a generous protector in the married +state.' + +Generous man! thought I. O how my tears ran down my cheeks, as I hid my +face behind the countess's chair! + +But will you allow me, sir, proceeded the countess, to ask you, were you +freed from all your uncertainties-- + +'Permit me, madam,' interrupted he, 'to spare you the question you were +going to put. As I know not what will be the result of my journey +abroad, I should think myself a very selfish man, and a very +dishonourable one to two ladies of equal delicacy and worthiness, if I +sought to involve, as I hinted before, in my own uncertainties, a young +lady whose prudence and great qualities must make herself and any man +happy, whom she shall favour with her hand. + +'To be still more explicit,' proceeded he, With what face could I look up +to a woman of honour and delicacy, such a one as the lady before whom I +now stand, if I could own a wish, that, while my honour has laid me under +obligation to one lady, if she shall be permitted to accept of me, I +should presume to hope, that another, no less worthy, would hold her +favour for me suspended, till she saw what would be the issue of the +first obligation? No, madam; I could sooner die, than offer such +indignity to both! I am fettered, added he; but Miss Byron is free: and +so is the lady abroad. My attendance on her at this time, is +indispensable; but I make not any conditions for myself--My reward will +be in the consciousness of having discharged the obligations that I think +myself under, as a man of honour.' + +The countess's voice changed in repeating this speech of his: and she +stopt to praise him; and then went on. + +You are THE man, indeed, sir!--But then give me leave to ask you, as I +think it very likely that you will be married before your return to +England, Whether, now that you have been so good as to speak favourably +of my son, and that you call Miss Byron sister, you will oblige him with +a recommendation to that sister? + +'The Countess of D---- shews, by this request, her value for a young lady +who deserves it; and the more, for its being, I think, (excuse me, madam) +a pretty extraordinary one. But what a presumption would it be in me, to +suppose that I had SUCH an interest with Miss Byron, when she has +relations as worthy of her, as she is of them?' + +You may guess, my dear, said the countess, that I should not have put +this question, but as a trial of his heart. However, I asked his pardon; +and told him, that I would not believe he gave it me, except he would +promise to mention to Miss Byron, that I had made him a visit on this +subject. [Methinks, Lucy, I should have been glad that he had not let me +know that he was so forgiving!] + +And now, my dear, said the lady, let me turn about. She did; and put one +arm round my neck, and with my own handkerchief wiped my eyes, and kissed +my cheek; and when she saw me a little recovered, she addressed me as +follows: + +Now, my good young creature, [O that you would let me call you daughter +in my way! for I think I must always call you so, whether you do, or not] +let me ask you, as if I were your real mother, 'Have you any expectation +that Sir Charles Grandison will be yours?' + +Dear madam, is not this as hard a question to be put to me, as that which +you put to him? + +Yes, my dear--full as hard. And I am as ready to ask your pardon, as I +was his, if you are really displeased with me for putting it. Are you, +Miss Byron? Excuse me, Mrs. Reeves, for thus urging your lovely cousin: +I am at least entitled to the excuse Sir Charles Grandison made for me, +that it is a demonstration of my value for her. + +I have declared, madam, returned I, and it is from my heart, that I think +he ought to be the husband of the lady abroad: and though I prefer him to +all the men I ever saw, yet I have resolved, if possible, to conquer the +particular regard I have for him. He has in a very noble manner offered +me his friendship, so long as it may be accepted without interfering with +any other attachments on my part: and I will be satisfied with that. + +A friendship so pure, replied the countess, as that of such a man, is +consistent with any other attachments. My Lord D---- will, with his +whole soul, contribute all in his power to strengthen it: he admires Sir +Charles Grandison: he would think it a double honour to be acquainted +with him through you. Dearest Miss Byron, take another worthy young man +into your friendship, but with a tenderer name: I shall then claim a +fourth place in it for myself. O my dear! What a quadruple knot will +you tie! + +Your ladyship does me too much honour, was all I could just then reply. + +I must have an answer, my dear: I will not take up with a compliment. + +This, then, madam, is my answer--I hope I am an honest creature: I have +not a heart to give. + +Then you have expectations, my dear.--Well, I will call you mine, if I +can. Never did I think that I could have made the proposal, that I am +going to make you: but in my eyes, as well as in my lord's, you are an +incomparable young woman.--This is it.--We will not think of the alliance +proposed to us (it is yet but a proposal, and to which we have not +returned any answer) till we see what turn the affair Sir Charles is gone +upon, takes. You once said, you could prefer my son to any of the men +that had hitherto applied to you for your favour. Your affections to Sir +Charles were engaged before you knew us. Will you allow my son this +preference, which will be the first preference, if Sir Charles engages +himself abroad? + +Your ladyship surprises me: shall I not improve by the example you have +just now set before me? Who was it that said (and a man too) 'With what +face could I look up to a woman of honour and delicacy, such a one as the +lady before whom I now stand, if I could own a wish, that, while' my +heart leaned to one person, I should think of keeping another in suspense +till I saw whether I could or could not be the other's? 'No, madam, I +would sooner die,' as Sir Charles said, 'than offer such an indignity to +both.' But I know, madam, that you only made this proposal, as you did +another to Sir Charles Grandison, as a trial of my heart. + +Upon my word, my dear, I should, I think, be glad to be entitled to such +an excuse: but I was really in earnest; and now take a little shame to +myself. + +What charming ingenuousness in this lady! + +She clasped her arms about me, and kissed my cheek again. I have but one +plea, said she, to make for myself; I could not have fallen into such an +error, (the example so recently given to the contrary,) had I not wished +you to be, before any woman in the world, Countess of D----. Noble +creature! No title can give you dignity. May your own wishes be +granted! + +My cousin's eyes ran over with pleasure. + +The countess asked, When I returned to Northamptonshire? I told her my +intention. She charged me to see her first. But can tell you, said she, +my lord shall not be present when you come: not once more will I trust +him in your company; and if he should steal a visit, unknown to me, let +not your cousin see him, Mrs. Reeves. He does indeed admire you, love. + +I acknowledged, with a grateful heart, her goodness to me. She engaged +me to correspond with her when I got home. Her commands were an honour +done me, that I could not refuse myself. Her son, she smilingly told me, +should no more see my letters, than my person. + +At her going away--I will tell you one thing, said she: I never before, +in a business which my heart was set upon, was so effectually silenced by +a precedent produced by myself in the same conversation. I came with an +assurance of success. When our hearts are engaged in a hope, we are apt +to think every step we take for the promoting it, reasonable: Our +passions, my dear, will evermore run away with our judgment. But, now I +think of it, I must, when I say our, make two exceptions; one for you, +and one for Sir Charles Grandison. + +But, Lucy, tell me--May I, do you think, explain the meaning of the word +SELFISH used by Sir Charles in the conclusion of the library conference +at Colnebrook, (and which puzzled me then to make out,) by his +disclaiming of selfishness in the conversation with the countess above +recited? If I may, what an opening of his heart does that word give in +my favour, were he at liberty? Does it not look, my dear, as if his +honour checked him, when his love would have prompted him to wish me to +preserve my heart disengaged till his return from abroad? Nor let it be +said, that it was dishonourable in him to have such a thought, as it was +checked and overcome; and as it was succeeded by such an emotion, that he +was obliged to depart abruptly from me.--Let me repeat the words--You may +not have my letter at hand which relates that affecting address to me; +and it is impossible for me, while I have memory, to forget them. He had +just concluded his brief history of Clementina--'And now, madam, what can +I say?--Honour forbids me!--Yet honour bids me--Yet I cannot be unjust, +ungenerous, selfish!'--If I may flatter myself, Lucy, that he did love me +when he said this, and that he had a conflict in his noble heart between +the love on one side so hopeless, (for I could not forgive him, if he did +not love, as well as pity, Clementina,) and on the other not so hopeless, +were there to have been no bar between--Shall we not pity him for the +arduous struggle? Shall we not see that honour carried it, even in +favour of the hopeless against the hopeful, and applaud him the more for +being able to overcome? How shall we call virtue by its name, if it be +not tried; and if it hath no contest with inclination? + +If I am a vain self-flatterer, tell me, chide me, Lucy; but allow me, +however, at the same time, this praise, if I can make good my claim to +it, that my conquest of my passion is at least as glorious for me, as his +is for him, were he to love me ever so well; since I can most sincerely, +however painfully, subscribe to the preference which honour, love, +compassion, unitedly, give to CLEMENTINA. + + + +LETTER XXX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +MONDAY NIGHT. + + +My cousins and I, by invitation, supped with Lady G---- this evening. +Lord and Lady L---- were there; Lady Olivia also, and Lady Maffei. + +I have set them all into a consternation, as they expressed themselves, +by my declaration of leaving London on my return home early on Friday +morning next. I knew, that were I to pass the whole summer here, I must +be peremptory at last. The two sisters vow, that I shall not go so soon. +They say, that I have seen so few of the town diversions--Town +diversions, Lucy!--I have had diversion enough, of one sort!--But in your +arms, my dear friends, I shall have consolation--And I want it. + +I have great regrets, and shall have hourly more, as the day approaches, +on the leaving of such dear and obliging friends: but I am determined. + +My cousin's coach will convey me to Dunstable; and there, I know, I shall +meet with my indulgent uncle, or your brother. I would not have it +publicly known, because of the officious gentlemen in the neighbourhood. + +Dr. Bartlett intended to set out for Grandison-hall to-morrow: but from +the natural kindness of his heart he has suspended his journey to +Thursday next. No consideration, therefore, shall detain me, if I am +well. + +My cousins are grieved: they did not expect that I would be a word and a +blow, as they phrase it. + +Lady Olivia expressed herself concerned, that she, in particular, was to +lose me. She had proposed great pleasure, she said, in the parties she +should make in my company. But, after what Emily told me, she appears to +me as a Medusa; and were I to be thought by her a formidable rival, I +might have as much reason to be afraid of the potion, as the man she +loves of the poniard. Emily has kept the secret from every body but me. +And I rely on the inviolable secrecy of all you, my friends. + +Lord and Lady L---- had designed to go to Colnebrook to-morrow, or at my +day, having hopes of getting me with them: but now, they say, they will +stay in town till they can see whether I am to be prevailed upon, or will +be obdurate. + +Lady Olivia inquired after the distance of Northamptonshire. She will +make the tour of England, she says, and visit me there. I was obliged to +say I should take her visit as an honour. + +Wicked politeness! Of how many falsehoods dost thou make the people, who +are called polite, guilty! + +But there is one man in the world, who is remarkable for his truth, yet +is unquestionably polite. He censures not others for complying with +fashions established by custom; but he gives not in to them. He never +perverts the meaning of words. He never, for instance, suffers his +servants to deny him, when he is at home. If he is busy, he just finds +time to say he is, to unexpected visiters; and if they will stay, he +turns them over to his sisters, to Dr. Bartlett, to Emily, till he can +attend them. But then he has always done so. Every one knows that he +lives to his own heart, and they expect it of him; and when they can have +his company, they have double joy in the ease and cheerfulness that +attend his leisure: they then have him wholly. And he can be the more +polite, as the company then is all his business. + +Sir Charles might the better do so, as he came over so few months ago, +after so long an absence; and his reputation for politeness was so well +established, that people rather looked for rules from him, than a +conformity to theirs. + +His denials of complimenting Lady Olivia (though she was but just arrived +in his native country, where she never was before) with the suspending of +his departure for one week, or but for one day--Who but he could have +given them? But he was convinced, that it was right to hasten away, for +the sake of Clementina and his Jeronymo; and that it would have been +wrong to shew Olivia, even for her own sake, that in such a competition +she had consequence with him; and all her entreaties, all her menaces, +the detested poniard in her hand, could not shake his steady soul, and +make him delay his well-settled purpose. + + + +LETTER XXXI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY MORNING, APRIL 18. + + +This naughty Lady G----! She is excessively to blame. Lord L---- is out +of patience with her. So is Lady L----. Emily says, she loves her +dearly; but she does not love her ways. Lord G----, as Emily tells me, +talks of coming to me; the cause of quarrel supposed to be not great: but +trifles, insisted upon, make frequently the widest breaches. Whatever it +be, it is between themselves: and neither cares to tell: but Lord and +Lady L---- are angry with her, for the ludicrous manner in which she +treats him. + +The misunderstanding happened after my cousin and I left them last night. +I was not in spirits, and declined staying to cards. Lady Olivia and her +aunt went away at the same time. Whist was the game. Lord and Lady +L----, Dr. Bartlett and Emily, were cast in. In the midst of their play, +Lady G---- came hurrying down stairs to them, warbling an air. Lord +G---- followed her, much disturbed. Madam, I must tell you, said he--Why +MUST, my lord? I don't bid you. + +Sit still, child, said she to Emily; and took her seat behind her--Who +wins? Who loses? + +Lord G---- walked about the room--Lord and Lady L---- were unwilling to +take notice, hoping it would go off; for there had been a few +livelinesses on her side at dinner-time, though all was serene at supper. + +Dr. Bartlett offered her his cards. She refused them--No, doctor, said +she, I will play my own cards: I shall have enough to do to play them +well. + +As you manage it, so you will, madam, said Lord G----. + +Don't expose yourself, my lord: we are before company. Lady L----, you +have nothing but trumps in your hand. + +Let me say a word or two to you, madam, said Lord G---- to her. + +I am all obedience, my lord. + +She arose. He would have taken her hand: she put it behind her. + +Not your hand, madam? + +I can't spare it. + +He flung from her, and went out of the room. + +Lord bless me, said she, returning to the card-table with a gay +unconcern, what strange passionate creatures are these men! + +Charlotte, said Lady L----, I wonder at you. + +Then I give you joy-- + +What do you mean, sister?-- + +We women love wonder, and the wonderful! + +Surely, Lady G----, said Lord L----, you are wrong. + +I give your lordship joy, too. + +On what? + +That my sister is always right. + +Indeed, madam, were I Lord G----, I should have no patience. + +A good hint for you, Lady L----. I hope you will take this for a +warning, and be good. + +When I behave as you do, Charlotte-- + +I understand you, Lady L----, you need not speak out--Every one in their +way. + +You would not behave thus, were my brother-- + +Perhaps not. + +Dear Charlotte, you are excessively wrong. + +So I think, returned she. + +Why then do you not-- + +Mend, Lady L----? All in good time. + +Her woman came in with a message, expressing her lord's desire to see +her.--The deuce is in these men! They will neither be satisfied with us, +nor without us. But I am all obedience: no vow will I break--And out she +went. + +Lord G---- not returning presently, and Lord and Lady L----'s chariot +being come, they both took this opportunity, in order to shew their +displeasure, to go away without taking leave of their sister. Dr. +Bartlett retired to his apartment. And when Lady G---- came down, she +was surprised, and a little vexed, to find only Emily there. Lord G---- +came in at another door--Upon my word, my Lord, this is strange behaviour +in you: you fright away, with your husband-like airs, all one's company. + +Good God!--I am astonished at you, madam. + +What signifies your astonishment?--when you have scared every body out of +the house. + +I, madam! + +You, sir! Yes, you!--Did you not lord it over me in my dressing-room?-- +To be easy and quiet, did I not fly to our company in the drawing-room? +Did you not follow me there--with looks--very pretty looks for a +new-married man, I assure you! Then did you not want to take me aside-- +Would not anybody have supposed it was to express your sorrow for your +odd behaviour? Was I not all obedience?--Did you not, with very mannish +airs, slight me for my compliance, and fly out of the room? All the +company could witness the calmness with which I returned to them, that +they might not be grieved for me; nor think our misunderstanding a deep +one. Well, then, when your stomach came down, as I supposed, you sent +for me out: no doubt, thought I, to express his concern now.--I was all +obedience again. + +And did I not beseech you, madam-- + +Beseech me, my lord!--Yes--But with such looks!--I married, sir, let me +tell you, a man with another face--See, see, Emily--He is gone again.-- + +My lord flew out of the room in a rage.--O these men, my dear! said she +to Emily. + +I know, said Emily, what I could have answered, if I dared: but it is ill +meddling, as I have heard say, between man and wife. + +Emily says, the quarrel was not made up; but was carried higher still in +the morning. + +She had but just finished her tale, when the following billet was brought +me, from Lady G----: + + +*** + + +TUESDAY MORNING. + + +Harriet, + +If you love me, if you pity me, come hither this instant: I have great +need of your counsel. I am resolved to be unmarried; and therefore +subscribe myself by the beloved name of + +CHARLOTTE GRANDISON. + + +*** + + +I instantly dispatched the following: + +I Know no such person as Charlotte Grandison. I love Lady G----, but can +pity only her lord. I will not come near you. I have no counsel to give +you, but that you will not jest away your own happiness. + +HARRIET BYRON. + + +*** + + +In half an hour after, came a servant from Lady G---- with the following +letter: + +So, then, I have made a blessed hand of wedlock. My brother gone: my man +excessive unruly: Lord and Lady L---- on his side, without inquiring into +merits, or demerits: lectured by Dr. Bartlett's grave face: Emily +standing aloof; her finger in her eye: and now my Harriet renouncing me: +and all in one week! + +What can I do?--War seems to be declared: and will you not turn +mediatrix?--You won't, you say. Let it alone. Nevertheless, I will lay +the whole matter before you. + +It was last night, the week from the wedding-day not completed, that Lord +G---- thought fit to break into my retirement without my leave--By the +way, he was a little impertinent at dinner-time; but that I passed +over-- + +What boldness is this? said I--Pray, Sir, begone--Why leave you your +company below? + +I come, my dearest life! to make a request to you. + +The man began with civility enough, had he had a little less of his +odious rapture; for he flung his arms about me, Jenny in presence. A +husband's fondness is enough to ruin these girls. Don't you think, +Harriet, that there is an immorality in it, before them? + +I refuse your request, be it what it will. How dare you invade me in my +retirement?--You may believe, that I intended not to stay long above, my +sister below. Does the ceremony, so lately past, authorize want of +breeding? + +Want of breeding, madam!--And he did so stare! + +Leave me, this instant!--I looked good-natured, I suppose, in my anger; +for he declared he would not; and again throwing his arms about me as I +sat, joined his sharp face to mine, and presumed to kiss me; Jenny still +in the room. + +Now, Harriet, you never will desert me in a point of delicacy, I am sure. +You cannot defend these odious freedoms in a matrimony so young, unless +you would be willing to be served so yourself. + +You may suppose, that then I let loose my indignation upon him. And he +stole out, daring to mutter, and be displeased. The word devil was in +his mouth. + +Did he call me devil, Jenny? + +No, indeed, madam, said the wench--And, Harriet, see the ill example of +such a free behaviour before her: she presumed to prate in favour of the +man's fit of fondness; yet, at other times, is a prude of a girl. + +Before my anger was gone down, in again [It is truth, Harriet,] came the +bold wretch. I will not, said he, as you are not particularly employed, +leave you--Upon my soul, madam, you don't use me well. But if you will +oblige me with your company tomorrow morning-- + +No where, Sir-- + +Only to breakfast with Miss Byron, my dear--As a mark of your +obligingness, I request it. + +His dear!--Now I hate a hypocrite, of all things. I knew that he had a +design to make a shew of his bride, as his property, at another place; +and seeing me angry, thought he would name a visit agreeable to me, and +which at the same time would give him a merit with you, and preserve to +himself the consequence of being obliged by his obedient wife, at the +word of authority. + +From this foolish beginning arose our mighty quarrel. What vexed me was, +the art of the man, and the evident design he had to get you of his side. +He, in the course of it, threatened me with appealing to you.--To intend +to ruin me in the love of my dearest friend! Who, that valued that +friend, could forgive it? You may believe, that if he had not proposed +it, and after such accumulated offences, it was the very visit that I +should have been delighted with. + +Indeed, Sir--Upon my word, my lord--I do assure you, sir,--with a +moderate degree of haughtiness--was what the quarrel arose to, on my +side--And, at last, to a declaration of rebellion--I won't. + +On his side, Upon my soul, madam--Let me perish, if--and then hesitating +--You use me ill, madam. I have not deserved--And give me leave to say-- +I insist upon being obliged, madam. + +There was no bearing of this, Harriet.--It was a cool evening; but I took +up my fan--Hey-day! said I, what language is this?--You insist upon it, +my lord!--I think I am married; am I not?--And I took my watch, half an +hour after ten on Monday night--the--what day of the month is this?-- +Please the lord, I will note down this beginning moment of your +authoritative demeanour. + +My dear Lady G----, [The wretch called me by his own name, perhaps +farther to insult me,] if I could bear this treatment, it is impossible +for me to love you as I do. + +So it is in love to me, that you are to put on already all the husband!-- +Jenny! [Do you see, my lord, affecting a whisper, how you dash the poor +wench? How like a fool she looks at our folly!] Remember, Jenny, that +to-morrow morning you carry my wedding-suits to Mrs. Arnold; and tell +her, she has forgot the hanging-sleeves to the gowns. Let her put them +on out of hand. + +I was proceeding--But he rudely, gravely, and even with an air of scorn, +[There was no bearing that, you know,] admonished me. A little less wit, +madam, and a little more discretion, would perhaps better become you. + +This was too true to be forgiven. You'll say it, Harriet, if I don't. +And to come from a man that was not overburdened with either--But I had +too great a command of myself to say so. My dependence, my lord, [This I +did say,] is upon your judgment: that will always be a balance to my wit; +and, with the assistance of your reproving love, will in time teach me +discretion. + +Now, my dear, was not this a high compliment to him? Ought he not to +have taken it as such? Especially as I looked grave, and dropt him a +very fine courtesy. But either his conscience or his ill-nature, +(perhaps you'll say both,) made him take it as a reflection, [True as you +are alive, Harriet!] He bit his lip. Jenny, begone, said he--Jenny, +don't go, said I--Jenny knew not which to obey. Upon my word, Harriet, I +began to think the man would have cuffed me.--And while he was in his +airs of mock-majesty, I stept to the door, and whipt down to my company. + +As married people are not to expose themselves to their friends, (who I +once heard you sagely remark, would remember disagreeable things, when +the honest pair had forgotten them,) I was determined to be prudent. +You would have been charmed with me, my dear, for my discretion. I will +cheat by-standers, thought I; I will make my Lord and Lady L----, Dr. +Bartlett, and Emily, whom I had before set in at cards, think we are +egregiously happy--And down I sat, intending, with a lamb-like +peaceableness, to make observations on the play. But soon after, in +whipt my indiscreet lord, his colour heightened, his features working: +and though I cautioned him not to expose himself, yet he assumed airs +that were the occasion, as you shall hear, of frightening away my +company. He withdrew, in consequence of those airs; and, after a little +while, (repenting, as I hoped,) he sent for me out. Some wives would +have played the queen Vashti on their tyrant, and refused to go: but I, +all obedience, (my vow, so recently made, in my head,) obeyed, at the +very first word: yet you must think that I (meek as I am naturally) could +not help recriminating. He was too lordly to be expostulated with.-- +There was, 'I tell you, madam,' and 'I won't be told, sir;' and when I +broke from the passionate creature, and hoped to find my company, behold! +they were all gone! None but Emily left. And thus might poor Lady L---- +be sent home, weeping, perhaps, for such an early marriage-tyranny +exerted on her meek sister. + +Well, and don't you think that we looked like a couple of fools at each +other, when we saw ourselves left alone, as I may say, to fight it out? +I did expostulate with him as mildly as I could: he would have made it up +with me afterwards; but, no! there was no doing that, as a girl of your +nice notions may believe, after he had, by his violent airs, exposed us +both before so many witnesses. In decency, therefore, I was obliged to +keep it up: and now our misunderstanding blazes, and is at such a +comfortable height, that if we meet by accident, we run away from each +other by design. We have already made two breakfast-tables: yet I am +meek; he is sullen: I make courtesies; he returns not bows.--Sullen +creature, and a rustic!--I go to my harpsichord; melody enrages him. He +is worse than Saul; for Saul could be gloomily pleased with the music +even of the man he hated. + +I would have got you to come to us: that I thought was tending to a +compliance; for it would have been condescending too much, as he is so +very perverse, if I had accompanied him to you. He has a great mind to +appeal to you; but I have half rallied him out of his purpose. I sent to +you. What an answer did you return me!--Cruel Harriet! to deny your +requested mediation in a difference that has arisen between man and wife. +--But let the fire glow. If it spares the house, and only blazes in the +chimney, I can bear it. + +Cross creature, adieu! If you know not such a woman as Grandison, Heaven +grant that I may; and that my wishes may be answered as to the person; +and then I will not know a Byron. + + +See, Lucy, how high this dear flighty creature bribes! But I will not be +influenced, by her bribery, to take her part. + + + +LETTER XXXII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY NIGHT. + + +I am just returned from St. James's-square. + +But, first, I should tell you, that I had a visit from Lady Olivia and +Lady Maffei. Our conversation was in Italian and French. Lady Olivia +and I had a quarter of an hour's discourse in private: you may guess at +our subject. She is not without that tenderness of heart which is the +indispensable characteristic of a woman. She lamented the violence of +her temper, in a manner so affecting, that I cannot help pitying her, +though at the instant I had in my head a certain attempt, that makes me +shudder whenever I think of it. She regrets my going to Northamptonshire +so soon. I have promised to return her visit to-morrow in the afternoon. + +She sets out on Friday next for Oxford. She wished I could accompany +her. She resolves to see all that is worth seeing in the western +circuit, as I may call it. She observes, she says, that Sir Charles +Grandison's sisters, and their lords, are very particularly engaged at +present; and are in expectation of a call to Windsor, to attend Lord +W----'s nuptials: she will therefore, having attendants enough, and two +men of consideration in her train, one of whom is not unacquainted with +England, take cursory tours over the kingdom; having a taste for +travelling, and finding it a great relief to her spirits: and when Lady +L---- and Lady G---- are more disengaged, will review the seats and +places which she shall think worthy of a second visit, in their company. + +She professed to like the people here, and the face of the country; and +talked favourably of the religion of it: but, poor woman! she likes all +those the better, I doubt not, for the sake of one Englishman. Love, +Lucy, gilds every object which bears a relation to the person beloved. + +Lady Maffei was very free in blaming her niece for this excursion. She +took her chiding patiently; but yet, like a person that thought it too +much in her power to gratify the person blaming her, to pay much regard +to what she said. + +I took a chair to Lady G----'s. Emily ran to meet me in the hall. She +threw her arms about me: I rejoice you are come, said she. Did you not +meet the house in the square?--What means my Emily?--Why, it has been +flung out of the windows, as the saying is. Ah madam! we are all to +pieces. One so careless, the other so passionate!--But, hush! Here +comes Lady G----. + +Take, Lucy, in the dialogue-way, particulars. + +LADY G. Then you are come, at last, Harriet. You wrote, that you +would not come near me. + +HAR. I did; but I could not stay away. Ah, Lady G----, you will +destroy your own happiness! + +LADY G. So you wrote. Not one word, on the subject you hint at, that +you have ever said or written before. I hate repetitions, child. + +HAR. Then I must be silent upon it. + +LADY G. Not of necessity. You can say new things upon old subjects.-- +But hush! Here comes the man.--She ran to her harpsichord--Is this it, +Harriet? and touched the keys--repeating + + "Softly sweet, in Lydian measures, + Soon she sooth'd---- ----" + + +ENTER LORD G. + + +LORD G. Miss Byron, I am your most obedient servant. The sight of you +rejoices my soul.--Madam (to his lady), you have not been long enough +together to begin a tune. I know what this is for-- + +LADY G. Harmony! harmony! is a charming thing! But I, poor I! know not +any but what this simple instrument affords me. + +LORD G. [Lifting up his hands.] Harmony, madam! God is my witness-- +But I will lay every thing before Miss Byron. + +LADY G. You need not, my lord: she knows as much as she can know, +already; except the fine colourings be added to the woeful tale, that +your unbridled spirit can give it.--Have you my long letter about you, +Harriet? + +LORD G. And could you, madam, have the heart to write-- + +LADY G. Why, my lord, do you mince the matter? For heart, say +courage. You may speak as plain in Miss Byron's presence, as you did +before she came: I know what you mean. + +LORD G. Let it be courage, then. + +HAR. Fie, fie, Lord G----! Fie, fie, Lady G----! What lengths do you +run! If I understand the matter right, you have both, like children, +been at play, till you have fallen out. + +LORD G. If, Miss Byron, you know the truth, and can blame me-- + +HAR. I blame you only, my lord, for being in a passion. You see, my +lady is serene: she keeps her temper: she looks as if she wanted to be +friends with you. + +LORD G. O that cursed serenity!--When my soul is torn by a +whirlwind-- + +LADY G. A good tragedy rant!--But, Harriet, you are mistaken: My Lord +G---- is a very passionate man. So humble, so--what shall I call it? +before marriage--Did not the man see what a creature I was?--To bear with +me, when he had no obligation to me; and not now, when he has the +highest--A miserable sinking!--O Harriet, Harriet! Never, never marry! + +HAR. Dear Lady G----, you know in your own heart you are wrong--Indeed +you are wrong-- + +LORD G. God for ever reward you, madam!--I will tell you how it +began-- + +LADY G. 'Began!' She knows that already, I tell you, my lord. But +what has passed within these four hours, she knows not: you may entertain +her with that, if you please.--It was just about the time this day is a +week, that we were altogether, mighty comfortably, at St. George's, +Hanover-square-- + +LORD G. Every tittle of what you promised there, madam-- + +LADY G. And I, my lord, could be your echo in this, were I not resolved +to keep my temper, as you cannot but say I have done, all along. + +LORD G. You could not, madam, if you did not despise me. + +LADY G. You are wrong, my lord, to think so: but you don't believe +yourself: if you did, the pride of your heart ought not to permit you to +own it. + +LORD G. Miss Byron, give me leave-- + +LADY G. Lord bless me! that people are so fond of exposing themselves! +Had you taken my advice, when you pursued me out of my dressing-room into +company--My lord, said I, as mildly as I now speak, Don't expose +yourself. But he was not at all the wiser for my advice. + +LORD G. Miss Byron, you see--But I had not come down but to make my +compliments to you. He bowed, and was about to withdraw. + +I took him by the sleeve--My lord, you must not go. Lady G----, if your +own heart justifies you for your part in this misunderstanding, say so; I +challenge you to say so.--She was silent. + +HAR. If otherwise, own your fault, promise amendment--ask pardon. + +LADY G. Hey-day! + +HAR. And my lord will ask yours, for mistaking you--For being too +easily provoked-- + +LORD G. Too easily, madam-- + +HAR. What generous man would not smile at the foibles of a woman whose +heart is only gay with prosperity and lively youth; but has not the least +malice in it? Has not she made choice of your lordship in preference of +any other man? She rallies every one; she can't help it: she is to +blame.--Indeed, Lady G----, you are. Your brother felt your edge; he +once smarted by it, and was angry with you.--But afterwards, observing +that it was her way, my lord; that it was a kind of constitutional gaiety +of heart, and exercised on those she loved best; he forgave, rallied her +again, and turned her own weapons upon her; and every one in company was +delighted with the spirit of both.--You love her, my lord. + +LORD G. Never man more loved a woman. I am not an ill-natured man-- + +LADY G. But a captious, a passionate one, Lord G----. Who'd have +thought it? + +LORD G. Never was there, my dear Miss Byron, such a +strangely-aggravating creature! She could not be so, if she did not +despise me. + +LADY G. Fiddle-faddle, silly man! And so you said before. If you +thought so, you take the way, (don't you?) to mend the matter, by dancing +and capering about, and putting yourself into all manner of disagreeable +attitudes; and even sometimes being ready to foam at the mouth?--I told +him, Miss Byron, There he stands, let him deny it, if he can; that I +married a man with another face. Would not any other man have taken this +for a compliment to his natural undistorted face, and instantly have +pulled off the ugly mask of passion, and shewn his own?-- + +LORD G. You see, you see, the air, Miss Byron!--How ludicrously does +she now, even now-- + +LADY G. See, Miss Byron!--How captious!--Lord G---- ought to have a +termagant wife: one who could return rage for rage. Meekness is my +crime.--I cannot be put out of temper.--Meekness was never before +attributed to woman as a fault. + +LORD G. Good God!--Meekness!--Good God! + +LADY G. But, Harriet, do you judge on which side the grievance lies.-- +Lord G---- presents me with a face for his, that I never saw him wear +before marriage: He has cheated me, therefore. I shew him the same face +that I ever wore, and treat him pretty much in the same manner (or I am +mistaken) that I ever did: and what reason can he give, that will not +demonstrate him to be the most ungrateful of men, for the airs he gives +himself? Airs that he would not have presumed to put on eight days ago. +Who then, Harriet, has reason to complain of grievance; my lord, or I? + +LORD G. You see, Miss Byron--Can there be any arguing with a woman who +knows herself to be in jest, in all she says? + +HAR. Why then, my lord, make a jest of it. What will not bear an +argument, will not be worth one's anger. + +LORD G. I leave it to Miss Byron, Lady G----, to decide between us, as +she pleases. + +LADY G. You'd better leave it to me, sir. + +HAR. Do, my lord. + +LORD G. Well, madam!--And what is your decree? + +LADY G. You, Miss Byron, had best be Lady Chancellor, after all. I +should not bear to have my decree disputed, after it is pronounced. + +HAR. If I must, my decree is this:--You, Lady G---- shall own yourself +in fault; and promise amendment. My lord shall forgive you; and promise +that he will, for the future, endeavour to distinguish between your good +and your ill-nature: that he will sit down to jest with your jest, and +never be disturbed at what you say, when he sees it accompanied with that +archness of eye and lip which you put on to your brother, and to every +one whom you best love, when you are disposed to be teazingly facetious. + +LADY G. Why, Harriet, you have given Lord G---- a clue to find me out, +and spoil all my sport. + +HAR. What say you, my lord? + +LORD G. Will Lady G---- own herself in fault, as you propose? + +LADY G. Odious recrimination!--I leave you together. I never was in +fault in my life. Am I not a woman? If my lord will ask pardon for his +froppishness, as we say of children-- + +She stopt, and pretended to be going-- + +HAR. That my lord shall not do, Charlotte. You have carried the jest +too far already. My lord shall preserve his dignity for his wife's sake. +My lord, you will not permit Lady G---- to leave us, however? + +He took her hand, and pressed it with his lips: for God's sake, madam, +let us be happy: it is in your power to make us both so: it ever shall be +in your power. If I have been in fault, impute it to my love. I cannot +bear your contempt; and I never will deserve it. + +LADY G. Why could not this have been said some hours ago?--Why, +slighting my early caution, would you expose yourself? + +I took her aside. Be generous, Lady G----. Let not your husband be the +only person to whom you are not so. + +LADY G. [Whispering.] Our quarrel has not run half its length. If we +make up here, we shall make up clumsily. One of the silliest things in +the world is, a quarrel that ends not, as a coachman after a journey +comes in, with a spirit. We shall certainly renew it. + +HAR. Take the caution you gave to my lord: don't expose yourself. And +another; that you cannot more effectually do so, than by exposing your +husband. I am more than half-ashamed of you. You are not the Charlotte +I once thought you were. Let me see, if you have any regard to my good +opinion of you, that you can own an error with some grace. + +LADY G. I am a meek, humble, docile creature. She turned to me, and +made me a rustic courtesy, her hands before her: I'll try for it: tell +me, if I am right. Then stepping towards my lord, who was with his back +to us looking out at the window--and he turning about to her bowing--My +lord, said she, Miss Byron has been telling me more than I knew before of +my duty. She proposes herself one day to make a won-der-ful obedient +wife. It would have been well for you, perhaps, had I had her example to +walk by. She seems to say, that, now I am married, I must be grave, +sage, and passive: that smiles will hardly become me: that I must be prim +and formal, and reverence my husband.--If you think this behaviour will +become a married woman, and expect it from me, pray, my lord, put me +right by your frowns, whenever I shall be wrong. For the future, if I +ever find myself disposed to be very light-hearted, I will ask your leave +before I give way to it. And now, what is next to be done? humorously +courtesying, her hands before her. + +He clasped her in his arms: dear provoking creature! This, this is next +to be done--I ask you but to love me half as much as I love you, and I +shall be the happiest man on earth. + +My lord, said I, you ruin all by this condescension on a speech and air +so ungracious. If this is all you get by it, never, never, my lord, fall +out again. O Charlotte! If you are not generous, you come off much, +much too easily. + +Well now, my lord, said she, holding out her hand, as if threatening me, +let you and me, man and wife like, join against the interposer in our +quarrels.--Harriet, I will not forgive you, for this last part of your +lecture. + +And thus was this idle quarrel made up. All that vexes me on the +occasion is, that it was not made up with dignity on my lord's part. +His honest heart so overflowed with joy at his lips, that the naughty +creature, by her arch leers, every now and then, shewed, that she was +sensible of her consequence to his happiness. But, Lucy, don't let her +sink too low in your esteem: she has many fine qualities. + +They prevailed on me to stay supper. Emily rejoiced in the +reconciliation: her heart was, as I may say, visible in her joy. Can I +love her better than I do? If I could, she would, every time I see her, +give me reason for it. + + + +LETTER XXXIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY NOON, APRIL 19. + + +It would puzzle you to guess at a visitor I had this morning.--Honest Mr. +Fowler. I was very glad to see him. He brought me a Letter from his +worthy uncle. Good Sir Rowland! I had a joy that I thought I should not +have had while I stayed in London, on its being put into my hand, though +the contents gave me sensible pain. I enclose it. It is dated from +Caermarthen. Be pleased to read it here. + + +*** + + +CAERMARTHEN, APRIL 11. + +How shall I, in fit manner, inscribe my letter to the loveliest of women! +I don't mean because of your loveliness; but whether as daughter or not, +as you did me the honour to call yourself. Really, and truly, I must +say, that I had rather call you by another name, though a little more +remote as to consanguinity. Lord have mercy upon me, how have I talked +of you! How many of our fine Caermarthen girls have I filled with envy +of your peerless perfections! + +Here am I settled to my heart's content, could I but obtain--You know +whom I mean.--A town of gentry: A fine country round us--A fine estate of +our own. Esteemed, nay, for that matter, beloved, by all our neighbours +and tenants. Who so happy as Rowland Meredith, if his poor boy could be +happy!--Ah, madam!--And can't it be so? I am afraid of asking. Yet I +understand, that, notwithstanding all the jack-a-dandies that have been +fluttering about you, you are what you were when I lest town. Some +whispers have gone out of a fine gentleman, indeed, who had a great +kindness for you; but yet that something was in the way between you. The +Lord bless and prosper my dear daughter, as I must then call you, and not +niece, if you have any kindness for him. And if as how you have, it +would be wonderfully gracious if you would but give half a hint of it to +my nephew, or if so be you will not to him, to me, your father you know, +under your own precious hand. The Lord be good unto me! But I shall +never see the she that will strike my fancy, as you have done. But what +a dreadful thing would it be, if you, who are so much courted and admired +by many fine gallants, should at last be taken with a man who could not +be yours! God forbid that such a disastrous thing should happen! I +profess to you, madam, that a tear or two have strayed down my cheeks at +the thoughts of it. For why? Because you played no tricks with any man: +you never were a coquette, as they call them. You dealt plainly, +sincerely, and tenderly too, to all men; of which my nephew and I can +bear witness. + +Well, but what now is the end of my writing?--Lord love you, cannot, +cannot you at last give comfort to two honest hearts? Honester you never +knew! And yet, if you could, I dare say you would. Well, then, and if +you can't, we must sit down as contented as we can; that's all we have +for it.--But, poor young man! Look at him, if you read this before him. +Strangely altered! Poor young man!--And if as how you cannot, why then, +God bless my daughter; that's all. And I do assure you, that you have +our prayers every Lord's day, from the bottom of our hearts. + +And now, if you will keep a secret, I will tell it you; and yet, when I +began, I did not intend it: the poor youth must not know it. It is done +in the singleness of our hearts; and if you think we mean to gain your +love for us by it, I do assure you, that you wrong us.--My nephew +declares, that he never will marry, if it be not somebody: and he has +made his will, and so have I his uncle; and, let me tell you, that if as +how I cannot have a niece, my daughter shall be the better for having +known, and treated as kindly, as power was lent her, + +Her true friend, loving father, and obedient servant, +ROWLAND MEREDITH. + +Love and service to Mr. and Mrs. Reeves, and all friends who inquire + after me. Farewell. God bless you! Amen. + + +*** + + +Have you, could you, Lucy, read this letter with dry eyes? Generous, +worthy, honest men! I read but half way before Mr. Fowler--Glad I was, +that I read no further. I should not have been able to have kept his +uncle's secret, if I had; had it been but to disclaim the acceptance of +the generous purpose. The carrying it into effect would exceedingly +distress me, besides the pain the demise of the honest man would give me; +and the more, as I bespoke the fatherly relation from him myself. If +such a thing were to be, Sir Charles Grandison's generosity to the Danbys +should be my example. + +Do you know, Mr. Fowler, said I, the contents of the letter you have put +into my hand? + +No farther than that my uncle told me, it contained professions of +fatherly love; and with wishes only--But without so much as expressing +his hopes. + +Sir Rowland is a good man, said I: I have not read above half his letter. +There seems to be too much of the father in it, for me to read further, +before my brother. God bless my brother Fowler, and reward the fatherly +love of Sir Rowland to his daughter Byron! I must write to him. + +Mr. Fowler, poor man! profoundly sighed; bowed; with such a look of +respectful acquiescence--Bless me, my dear, how am I to be distressed on +all sides! by good men too; as Sir Charles could say by good women. + +Is there nothing less than giving myself to either, that I can do to shew +Mr. Orme and Mr. Fowler my true value for them? + +Poor Mr. Fowler!--Indeed he looks to be, as Sir Rowland hints, not well. +--Such a modest, such a humble, such a silent lover!--He cost me tears at +parting: I could not hide them. He heaped praises and blessings upon me, +and hurried away at last, to hide his emotion, with a sentence +unfinished.--God preserve you, dear and worthy sir! was all I could try +to say. The last words stuck in my throat, till he was out of hearing; +and then I prayed for blessings upon him and his uncle: and repeated +them, with fresh tears, on reading the rest of the affecting letter. + +Mr. Fowler told Mr. Reeves, before I saw him, that he is to go to +Caermarthen for the benefit of his native air, in a week. He let him +know where he lodged in town. He had been riding for his health and +diversion about the country, ever since his uncle went; and has not been +yet at Caermarthen. + +I wish Mr. Fowler had once, if but once, called me sister: it would have +been such a kind acquiescence, as would have given me some little +pleasure on recollection. Methinks I don't know how to have done writing +of Sir Rowland and Mr. Fowler. + +I sat down, however, while the uncle and nephew filled my thoughts, and +wrote to the former. I have enclosed the copy of my letter. + +Adieu, my Lucy. + + + +LETTER XXXIV + +MISS BYRON, TO SIR ROWLAND MEREDITH +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19. + + +It was with great pleasure that I received, this day, the kindest Letter +that ever was written by a real father to his dearest child. I was +resolved that I would not go to rest till I had acknowledged the favour. + +How sweet is the name of father to a young person who, out of near +one-and-twenty years of life, has for more than half the time been +bereaved of hers; and who was also one of the best of men! + +You gave me an additional pleasure in causing this remembrance of your +promised paternal goodness to be given me by Mr. Fowler in person. Till +I knew you and him, I had no father, no brother. + +How good you are in your apprehensions that there may be a man on whom +your daughter has cast her eye, and who cannot look upon her with the +same distinction--O that I had been near you when you wrote that +sweetly-compassionating, that indulgent passage! I would have wiped the +tears from your eyes myself, and reverenced you as my true father. + +You demand of me, as my father, a hint, or half a hint, as you call it, +to be given to my brother Fowler; or if not to him, to you. To him, whom +I call father, I mean all the duty of a child. I call him not father +nominally only: I will, irksome as the subject is, own, without reserve, +the truth to you--[In tenderness to my brother, how could I to him?]-- +There is a man whom, and whom only, I could love as a good wife ought to +love her husband. He is the best of men. O my good Sir Rowland +Meredith! if you knew him, you would love him yourself, and own him for +your son. I will not conceal his name from my father: Sir Charles +Grandison is the man. Inquire about him. His character will rise upon +you from every mouth. He engaged first all your daughter's gratitude, by +rescuing her from a great danger and oppression; for he is as brave as he +is good: and how could she help suffering a tenderness to spring up from +her gratitude, of which she was never before sensible to any man in the +world? There is something in the way, my good sir; but not that proceeds +from his slights or contempts. Your daughter could not live, if it were +so. A glorious creature is in the way! who has suffered for him, who +does suffer for him: he ought to be hers, and only hers; and if she can +be recovered from a fearful malady that has seized her mind, he probably +will. My daily prayers are, that God will restore her! + +But yet, my dear sir, my friend, my father! my esteem for this noblest of +men is of such a nature, that I cannot give my hand to any other: my +father Meredith would not wish me to give a hand without a heart. + +This, sir, is the case. Let it, I beseech you, rest within your own +breast, and my brother Fowler's. How few minds are there delicate and +candid enough to see circumstances of this kind in the light they ought +to appear in! And pray for me, my good Sir Rowland; not that the way may +be smoothed to what once would have crowned my wishes as to this life; +but that Sir Charles Grandison may be happy with the lady that is, and +ought to be, dearest to his heart; and that your daughter may be enabled +to rejoice in their felicity. What, my good sir, is this span of life, +that a passenger through it should seek to overturn the interests of +others to establish her own? And can the single life be a grievance? +Can it be destitute of the noblest tendernesses? No, sir. You that have +lived to an advanced age, in a fair fame, surrounded with comforts, and +as tender to a worthy nephew, as the most indulgent father could be to +the worthiest of sons, can testify for me, that it is not. + +But now, sir, one word--I disclaim, but yet in all thankfulness, the +acceptance of the favour signified to be intended me in the latter part +of the paternal letter before me. Our acquaintance began with a hope, on +your side, that I could not encourage. As I could not, shall I accept of +the benefit from you, to which I could only have been entitled (and that +as I had behaved) had I been able to oblige you?--No, sir! I will not, +in this case, be benefited, when I cannot benefit. Put me not therefore, +I beseech you, sir, if such an event (deplored by me, as it would be!) +should happen, upon the necessity of inquiring after your other relations +and friends. Sir Rowland Meredith my father, and Mr. Fowler my brother, +are all to me of the family they distinguish by their relation, that I +know at present. Let me not be made known to the rest by a distinction +that would be unjust to them, and to yourself, as it must deprive you of +the grace of obliging those who have more than a stranger's claim; and +must, in the event, lay them under the appearance of an obligation to +that stranger for doing them common justice. + +I use the word stranger with reference to those of your family and +friends to whom I must really appear in that light. But, laying these +considerations aside, in which I am determined not to interfere with +them, I am, with the tenderest regard, dear and good sir, + +Your ever-dutiful and affectionate daughter, +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XXXV + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19. + + +I shall dispatch this by your Gibson early in the morning. It was kind +in you to bid him call, in his way down; for now I shall be almost sure +of meeting (if not my uncle) your brother, and who knows, but my Lucy +herself, at Dunstable? Where, barring accidents, I shall be on Friday +night. + +You will see some of the worthiest people in the world, my dear, if you +come, all prepared to love you: but let not any body be put to +inconvenience to meet me at Dunstable. My noble friends here will +proceed with me to Stratford, or even to Northampton, they say; but they +will see me safe in the protection of somebody I love, and whom they must +love for my sake. + +I don't wonder that Sir Charles Grandison loves Mr. Beauchamp: he is a +very worthy and sensible man. He, as every body else, idolizes Sir +Charles. It is some pleasure to me, Lucy, that I stand high in his +esteem. To be respected by the worthy, is one of the greatest felicities +in this life; since it is to be ranked as one of them. Sir Harry and his +lady are come to town. All, it seems, is harmony in that family. They +cannot bear Mr. Beauchamp's absence from them for three days together. +All the neighbouring gentlemen are in love with him. His manners are so +gentle; his temper so even; so desirous to oblige; so genteel in his +person; so pleasing in his address; he must undoubtedly make a good woman +very happy. + +But Emily, poor girl! sees only Sir Charles Grandison with eyes of love. +Mr. Beauchamp is, however, greatly pleased with Emily. He told Lady G---- +that he thought her a fine young creature; and that her mind was still +more amiable than her person. But his behaviour to her is extremely +prudent. He says finer things of her, than to her: yet surely I am +mistaken if he meditates not in her his future wife. + +Mr. Beauchamp will be one of my escort. + +Emily, at her own request, is to go to Colnebrook with Lady L---- after I +am gone. + +Mr. Reeves will ride. Lord L---- and Lord G---- will also oblige me with +their company on horseback. + +Mrs. Reeves is forbidden to venture; but Lady L---- and Lady G---- will +not be denied coming with me. + +I shall take leave of Lady Olivia and Lady Maffei to-morrow morning; when +they will set out for their projected tour. To-morrow we and the whole +Grandison family are to dine together at Lord L----'s, for the last time. +It will be a mournful dining-time, on that account. + +Lady Betty Williams, her daughter, and Miss Clements, supped with us this +night, and took leave of me in the tenderest manner. They greatly regret +my going down so soon, as they call it. + +As to the public diversions, which they wish me to stay and give into, to +be sure I should have been glad to have been better qualified to have +entertained you with the performances of this or that actor, this or that +musician, and the like: but, frightened by the vile plot upon me at a +masquerade, I was thrown out of that course of diversion, and indeed into +more affecting, more interesting engagements; into the knowledge of a +family that had no need to look out of itself for entertainments: and, +besides, are not all the company we see, as visiters or guests, full of +these things? I have seen the principal performers, in every way, often +enough to give me a notion of their performances, though I have not +troubled you with such common things as revolve every season. + +You know I am far from slighting the innocent pleasures in which others +delight--It would have been happier for me, perhaps, had I had more +leisure to attend those amusements, than I have found. Yet I am not +sure, neither: for methinks, with all the pangs that my suspenses have +cost me, I would not but have known Sir Charles Grandison, his sisters, +his Emily, and Dr. Bartlett. + +I could only have wished to have been spared Sir Hargrave Pollexfen's +vile attempt: then, if I had come acquainted with this family, it would +have been as I came acquainted with others: my gratitude had not been +engaged so deeply. + +Well--But what signify if's?--What has been, has; what must be, must. +Only love me, my dear friends, as you used to love me. If I was a good +girl when I left you, I hope I am not a bad one now, that I am returning +to you. My morals, I bless God, are unhurt: my heart is not corrupted by +the vanities of the great town: I have a little more experience than I +had: and if I have severely paid for it, it is not at the price of my +reputation. And I hope, if nobody has benefited by me, since I have been +in town, that no one has suffered by me. Poor Mr. Fowler!--I could not +help it, you know. Had I, by little snares, follies, coquetries, sought +to draw him on, and entangle him, his future welfare would, with reason, +be more the subject of my solicitude, than it is now necessary it should +be; though, indeed, I cannot help making it a good deal so. + + +*** + + +THURSDAY MORNING. + +Dr. Bartlett has just now taken leave of me, in my own dressing-room. +The parting scene between us was tender. + +I have not given you my opinion of Miss Williams. Had I seen her at my +first coming to town, I should have taken as much notice of her, in my +letters to you, as I did of the two Miss Brambers, Miss Darlington, Miss +Cantillon, Miss Allestree, and others of my own sex; and of Mr. Somner, +Mr. Barnet, Mr. Walden, of the other; who took my first notice, as they +fell early in my way, and with whom it is possible, as well as with the +town-diversions, I had been more intimate, had not Sir Hargrave's vile +attempt carried me out of their acquaintance into a much higher; which of +necessity, as well as choice, entirely engrossed my attention. But now +how insipid would any new characters appear to you, if they were but of a +like cast with those I have mentioned, were I to make such the subjects +of my pen, and had I time before me; which I cannot have, to write again, +before I embrace you all, my dear, my ever dear and indulgent friends! + +I will only say, that Miss Williams is a genteel girl; but will hardly be +more than one of the better sort of modern women of condition; and that +she is to be classed so high, will be owing more to Miss Clements's +lessons, than, I am afraid, to her mother's example. + +Is it, Lucy, that I have more experience and discernment now, or less +charity and good-nature, than when I first came to town? for then I +thought well, in the main, of Lady Betty Williams. But though she is a +good-natured, obliging woman; she is so immersed in the love of public +diversions! so fond of routs, drums, hurricanes,--Bless me, my dear! how +learned should I have been in all the gaieties of the modern life; what a +fine lady, possibly; had I not been carried into more rational (however +to me they have been more painful) scenes; and had I followed the lead of +this lady, as she (kindly, as to her intention) had designed I should! + +In the afternoon Mr. Beauchamp is to introduce Sir Harry and Lady +Beauchamp, on their first visit to the two sisters. + +I had almost forgot to tell you, that my cousins and I are to attend the +good Countess of D---- for one half hour, after we have taken leave of +Lady Olivia and her aunt. + +And now, my Lucy, do I shut up my correspondence with you from London. +My heart beats high with the hope of being as indulgently received by all +you, my dearest friends, as I used to be after a shorter absence: for I +am, and ever will be, + +The grateful, dutiful, and affectionate +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XXXVI + +MISS BYRON, TO LADY G---- +SELBY-HOUSE, MONDAY, APRIL 24. + + +Though the kind friends with whom I parted at Dunstable were pleased, one +and all, to allow that the correspondence which is to pass between my +dear Lady G---- and their Harriet, should answer the just expectations of +each upon her, in the writing way; and though (at your motion, remember, +not at mine) they promised to be contented with hearing read to them such +parts of my letters as you should think proper to communicate; yet cannot +I dispense with my duty to Lady L----, my Emily, my cousin Reeves, and +Dr. Bartlett. Accordingly, I write to them by this post; and I charge +you, my dear, with my sincere and thankful compliments to your lord, and +to Mr. Beauchamp, for their favours. + +What an agreeable night, in the main, was Friday night! Had we not been +to separate next morning, it would have been an agreeable one indeed! + +Is not my aunt Selby an excellent woman? But you all admired her. She +admires you all. I will tell you, another time, what she said of you, my +dear, in particular. + +My cousin Lucy, too--is she not an amiable creature? Indeed you all were +delighted with her. But I take pleasure in recollecting your +approbations of one I so dearly love. She is as prudent as Lady L---- +and now our Nancy is so well recovered, as cheerful as Lady G----. You +said you would provide a good husband for her: don't forget. The man, +whoever he be, cannot be too good for my Lucy. Nancy is such another +good girl: but so I told you. + +Well, and pray, did you ever meet with so pleasant a man as my uncle +Selby? What should we have done, when we talked of your brother, when we +talked of our parting, had it not been for him? You looked upon me every +now and then, when he returned your smartness upon him, as if you thought +I had let him know some of your perversenesses to Lord G----. And do you +think I did not? Indeed I did. Can you imagine that your frank-hearted +Harriet, who hides not from her friends her own faults, should conceal +yours?--But what a particular character is yours! Every body blames you, +that knows of your over-livelinesses; yet every body loves you--I think, +for your very faults. Had it not been so, do you imagine I could ever +have loved you, after you had led Lady L---- to join with you, on a +certain teasing occasion?--My uncle dotes upon you! + +But don't tell Emily that my cousin James Selby is in love with her. +That he may not, on the score of the dear girl's fortune, be thought +presumptuous, let me tell you, that he is almost of age; and, when he is, +comes into possession of a handsome estate. He has many good qualities. +I have, in short, a very great value for him; but not enough, though he +is my relation, to wish him my still more beloved Emily. Dear creature! +Methinks I still feel her parting tears on my cheek! + +You charge me to be as minute, in the letters I write to you, as I used +to be to my friends here: and you promise to be as circumstantial in +yours. I will set you the example: do you be sure to follow it. + +We baited at Stoney Stratford. I was afraid how it would be: there were +the two bold creatures, Mr. Greville, and Mr. Fenwick, ready to receive +us. A handsome collation, as at our setting out, so now, bespoke by +them, was set on the table. How they came by their intelligence, nobody +knows: we were all concerned to see them. They seemed half-mad for joy. +My cousin James had alighted to hand us out; but Mr. Greville was so +earnest to offer his hand, that though my cousin was equally ready, I +thought I could not deny to his solicitude for the poor favour, such a +mark of civility. Besides, if I had, it would have been distinguishing +him for more than a common neighbour, you know. Mr. Fenwick took the +other hand, when I had stept out of the coach, and then (with so much +pride, as made me ashamed of myself) they hurried me between them, +through the inn yard, and into the room they had engaged for us; blessing +themselves, all the way, for my coming down Harriet Byron. + +I looked about, as if for the dear friends I had parted with at +Dunstable. This is not, thought I, so delightful an inn as they made +that--Now they, thought I, are pursuing their road to London, as we are +ours to Northampton. But ah! where, where is Sir Charles Grandison at +this time? And I sighed! But don't read this, and such strokes as this, +to any body but Lord and Lady L----. You won't, you say--Thank you, +Charlotte.--I will call you Charlotte, when I think of it, as you +commanded me. The joy we had at Dunstable, was easy, serene, deep, full, +as I may say; it was the joy of sensible people: but the joy here was +made by the two gentlemen, mad, loud, and even noisy. They hardly were +able to contain themselves; and my uncle, and cousin James, were forced +to be loud, to be heard. + +Mr. Orme, good Mr. Orme, when we came near his park, was on the highway +side, perhaps near the very spot where he stood to see me pass to London +so many weeks ago--Poor man!--When I first saw him, (which was before the +coach came near, for I looked out only, as thinking I would mark the +place where I last beheld him,) he looked with so disconsolate an air, +and so fixed, that I compassionately said to myself, Surely the worthy +man has not been there ever since! + +I twitched the string just in time: the coach stopt. Mr. Orme, said I, +how do you? Well, I hope?--How does Miss Orme? + +I had my hand on the coach-door. He snatched it. It was not an +unwilling hand. He pressed it with his lips. God be praised, said he, +(with a countenance, O how altered for the better!) for permitting me +once more to behold that face--that angelic face, he said. + +God bless you, Mr. Orme! said I: I am glad to see you. Adieu. + +The coach drove on. Poor Mr. Orme! said my aunt. + +Mr. Orme, Lucy, said I, don't look so ill as you wrote he was. + +His joy to see you, said she--But Mr. Orme is in a declining way. + +Mr. Greville, on the coach stopping, rode back just as it was going on +again--And with a loud laugh--How the d----l came Orme to know of your +coming, madam!--Poor fellow! It was very kind of you to stop your coach +to speak to the statue. And he laughed again.--Nonsensical! At what? + +My grandmamma Shirley, dearest of parents! her youth, as she was pleased +to say, renewed by the expectation of so soon seeing her darling child, +came (as my aunt told us, you know) on Thursday night to Selby-house, to +charge her and Lucy with her blessing to me; and resolving to stay there +to receive me. Our beloved Nancy was also to be there; so were two other +cousins, Kitty and Patty Holles, good young creatures; who, in my +absence, had attended my grandmamma at every convenient opportunity, and +whom I also found here. + +When we came within sight of this house, Now, Harriet, said Lucy, I see +the same kind of emotions beginning to arise in your face and bosom, as +Lady G---- told us you shewed when you first saw your aunt at Dunstable. +My grandmamma! said I, I am in sight of the dear house that holds her: I +hope she is here. But I will not surprise her with my joy to see her. +Lie still, throbbing impatient heart. + +But when the coach set us down at the inner gate, there, in the +outward-hall, sat my blessed grandmamma. The moment I beheld her, my +intended caution forsook me: I sprang by my aunt, and, before the +foot-step could be put down, flew, as it were, out of the coach, and +threw myself at her feet, wrapping my arms about her: Bless, bless, said +I, your Harriet! I could not, at the moment, say another word. + +Great God! said the pious parent, her hands and eyes lifted up, Great +God! I thank thee! Then folding her arms about my neck, she kissed my +forehead, my cheek, my lips--God bless my love! Pride of my life! the +most precious of a hundred daughters! How does my child--my Harriet--O +my love!--After such dangers, such trials, such harassings--Once more, +God be praised that I clasp to my fond heart, my Harriet! + +Separate them, separate them, said my facetious uncle, (yet he had tears +in his eyes,) before they grow together!--Madam, to my grandmamma, she is +our Harriet, as well as yours: let us welcome the saucy girl, on her +re-entrance into these doors!--Saucy, I suppose, I shall soon find her. + +My grandmamma withdrew her fond arms: Take her, take her, said she, each +in turn: but I think I never can part with her again. + +My uncle saluted me, and bid me very kindly welcome home--so did every +one. + +How can I return the obligations which the love of all my friends lays +upon me? To be good, to be grateful, is not enough; since that one ought +to be for one's own sake. Yet how can I be even grateful to them with +half a heart? Ah, Lady G----, you bid me be free in my confessions. You +promise to look my letters over before you read them to any body; and to +mark passages proper to be kept to yourself--Pray do. + +Mr. Greville and Mr. Fenwick were here separately, an hour ago: I thanked +them for their civility on the road, and not ungraciously, as Mr. +Greville told my uncle, as to him. He was not, he said, without hopes, +yet; since I knew not how to be ungrateful. Mr. Greville builds, as he +always did, a merit on his civility; and by that means sinks, in the +narrower lover, the claim he might otherwise make to the title of the +generous neighbour. + + +*** + + +Miss Orme has just been here. She could not help throwing in a word for +her brother. + +You will guess, my dear Lady G----, at the subject of our conversations +here, and what they will be, morning, noon, and night, for a week to +come. My grandmamma is better in health than I have known her for a year +or two past. The health of people in years can mend but slowly; and they +are slow to acknowledge it in their own favour. My grandmamma, however, +allows that she is better within these few days past; but attributes the +amendment to her Harriet's return. + +How do they all bless, revere, extol, your noble brother!--How do they +wish--And how do they regret--you know what--Yet how ready are they to +applaud your Harriet, if she can hold her magnanimity, in preferring the +happiness of Clementina to her own!--My grandmamma and aunt are of +opinion, that I should; and they praise me for the generosity of my +effort, whether the superior merits of the man will or will not allow me +to succeed in it. But my uncle, my Lucy, and my Nancy, from their +unbounded love of me, think a little, and but a little, narrower; and, +believing it will go hard with me, say, It is hard. My uncle, in +particular, says, The very pretension is flight and nonsense: but, +however, if the girl, added he, can parade away her passion for an object +so worthy, with all my heart: it will be but just, that the romancing +elevations, which so often drive headstrong girls into difficulties, +should now and then help a more discreet one out of them. + +Adieu, my beloved Lady G----! Repeated compliments, love, thanks, to my +Lord and Lady L----, to my Emily, to Dr. Bartlett, to Mr. Beauchamp, and +particularly to my Lord G----. Dear, dear Charlotte, be good! Let me +beseech you be good! If you are not, you will have every one of my +friends who met you at Dunstable, and, from their report, my grandmamma +and Nancy, against you; for they find but one fault in my lord: it is, +that he seems too fond of a lady, who, by her archness of looks, and +half-saucy turns upon him, even before them, evidently shewed--Shall I +say what? But I stand up for you, my dear. Your gratitude, your +generosity, your honour, I say, (and why should I not add your duty?) +will certainly make you one of the most obliging of wives, to the most +affectionate of husbands. + +My uncle says he hopes so: but though he adores you for a friend, and the +companion of a lively hour; yet he does not know but his dame Selby is +still the woman whom a man should prefer for a wife: and she, said he, is +full as saucy as a wife need to be; though I think, Harriet, that she has +not been the less dutiful of late for your absence. + +Once more, adieu, my dear Lady G----, and continue to love your + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XXXVII + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +THURSDAY, APRIL 27. + + +Every one of the Dunstable party say, that you are a grateful and good +girl. Beauchamp can talk of nobody else of our sex: I believe in my +conscience he is in love with you. I think all the unprovided-for young +women, wherever you come, must hate you. Was you never by surprise +carried into the chamber of a friend labouring with the smallpox, in the +infectious stage of it?--O, but I think you once said you had had that +distemper. But your mind, Harriet, were your face to be ruined, would +make you admirers. The fellows who could think of preferring even such a +face to such a heart, may be turned over to the class of insignificants. + +Is not your aunt Selby, you ask, an excellent woman?--She is. I admire +her. But I am very angry with you for deferring to another time, +acquainting me with what she said of me. When we are taken with any +body, we love they should be taken with us. Teasing Harriet! You know +what an immoderate quantity of curiosity I have. Never serve me so +again! + +I am in love with your cousin Lucy. Were either Fenwick or Greville good +enough--But they are not. I think she shall have Mr. Orme. Nancy, you +say, is such another good girl. I don't doubt it. Is she not your +cousin, and Lucy's sister? But I cannot undertake for every good girl +who wants a husband. I wish I had seen Lucy a fortnight ago: then Nancy +might have had Mr. Orme, and Lucy should have had Lord G----. He admires +her greatly. And do you think that a man who at that time professed for +me so much love and service, and all that, would have scrupled to oblige +me, had I (as I easily should) proved to him, that he would have been a +much happier man than he could hope to be with somebody else? + +Your uncle is a pleasant man: but tell him I say, that the man would be +out of his wits, that did not make the preference he does in favour of +his dame Selby, as he calls her. Tell him also, if you please, in return +for his plain dealing, that I say, he studies too much for his +pleasantries: he is continually hunting for occasions to be smart. I +have heard my father say, that this was the fault of some wits of his +acquaintance, whom he ranked among the witlings for it. If you think it +will mortify him more, you may tell him, (for I am very revengeful when I +think myself affronted,) that were I at liberty, which, God help me, I am +not! I would sooner choose for a husband the man I have, (poor soul, as I +now and then think him,) than such a teasing creature as himself, were +both in my power, and both of an age. And I should have this good reason +for my preference: your uncle and I should have been too much alike, and +so been jealous of each other's wit; whereas I can make my honest Lord +G---- look about him, and admire me strangely, whenever I please. + +But I am, it seems, a person of a particular character. Every one, you +say, loves me, yet blames me. Odd characters, my dear, are needful to +make even characters shine. You good girls would not be valued as you +are, if there were not bad ones. Have you not heard it said, that all +human excellence is but comparative? Pray allow of the contrast. You, I +am sure, ought. You are an ungrateful creature, if, whenever you think +of my over-livelinesses, as you call 'em, you don't drop a courtesy, and +say, you are obliged to me. + +But still the attack made upon you in your dressing-room at Colnebrook, +by my sister and me, sticks in your stomach--And why so? We were willing +to shew you, that we were not the silly people you must have thought us, +had we not been able to distinguish light from darkness. You, who ever +were, I believe, one of the frankest-hearted girls in Britain, and +admired for the ease and dignity given you by that frankness, were +growing awkward, nay dishonest. Your gratitude! your gratitude! was the +dust you wanted to throw into our eyes, that we might not see that you +were governed by a stronger motive. You called us your friends, your +sisters, but treated us not as either; and this man, and that, and +t'other, you could refuse; and why? No reason given for it; and we were +to be popt off with your gratitude, truly!--We were to believe just what +you said, and no more; nay, not so much as you said. But we were not so +implicit. Nor would you, in our case, have been so. + +But 'you, perhaps, would not have violently broken in upon a poor thing, +who thought we were blind, because she was not willing we should see.'-- +May be not: but then, in that case, we were honester than you would have +been; that's all. Here, said I, Lady L----, is this poor girl awkwardly +struggling to conceal what every body sees; and, seeing, applauds her +for, the man considered: [Yes, Harriet, the man considered; be pleased to +take that in:] let us, in pity, relieve her. She is thought to be frank, +open-hearted, communicative; nay, she passes herself upon us in those +characters: she sees we keep nothing from her. She has been acquainted +with your love before wedlock; with my folly, in relation to Anderson: +she has carried her head above a score or two of men not contemptible. +She sits enthroned among us, while we make but common figures at her +footstool: she calls us sisters, friends, and twenty pretty names. Let +us acquaint her, that we see into her heart; and why Lord D---- and +others are so indifferent with her. If she is ingenuous, let us spare +her; if not, leave me to punish her--Yet we will keep up her punctilio as +to our brother; we will leave him to make his own discoveries. She may +confide in his politeness; and the result will be happier for her; +because she will then be under no restraint to us, and her native freedom +of heart may again take its course. + +Agreed, agreed, said Lady L----. And arm-in-arm, we entered your +dressing-room, dismissed the maid, and began the attack--And, O Harriet! +how you hesitated, paraded, fooled on with us, before you came to +confession! Indeed you deserved not the mercy we shewed you--So, child, +you had better to have let this part of your story sleep in peace. + +You bid me not tell Emily, that your cousin is in love with her: but I +think I will. Girls begin very early to look out for admirers. It is +better, in order to stay her stomach, to find out one for her, than that +she should find out one for herself; especially when the man is among +ourselves, as I may say, and both are in our own management, and at +distance from each other. Emily is a good girl; but she has +susceptibilities already: and though I would not encourage her, as yet, +to look out of herself for happiness; yet I would give her consequence +with herself, and at the same time let her see, that there could be no +mention made of any thing that related to her, but what she should be +acquainted with. Dear girl! I love her as well as you; and I pity her +too: for she, as well as somebody else, will have difficulties to contend +with, which she will not know easily how to get over; though she can, in +a flame so young, generously prefer the interest of a more excellent +woman to her own.--There, Harriet, is a grave paragraph: you'll like me +for it. + +You are a very reflecting girl, in mentioning to me, so particularly, +your behaviour to your Grevilles, Fenwicks, and Ormes. What is that but +saying, See, Charlotte! I am a much more complacent creature to the +men, no one of which I intend to have, than you are to your husband! + +What a pious woman, indeed, must be your grandmamma, that she could +suspend her joy, her long-absent darling at her feet, till she had first +thanked God for restoring her to her arms! But, in this instance, we see +the force of habitual piety. Though not so good as I should be myself, I +revere those who are so; and that I hope you will own is no bad sign. + +Well, but now for ourselves, and those about us. + +Lady Olivia has written a letter from Windsor to Lady L----. It is in +French; extremely polite. She promises to write to me from Oxford. + +Lady Anne S---- made me a visit this morning. She was more concerned +than I wished to see her, on my confirming the report she had heard of my +brother's being gone abroad. I rallied her a little too freely, as it +was before Lord G---- and Lord L----. I never was better rebuked than by +her; for she took out her pencil, and on the cover of a letter wrote +these lines from Shakespeare, and slid them into my hand: + + "And will you rend our ancient love asunder, + To join with men in scorning your poor friend? + It is not friendly; 'tis not maidenly: + Our sex, as well as I, may chide you for it, + Though I alone do feel the injury." + +I never, my dear, told you how freely this lady and I had talked of love: +but, freely as we had talked, I was not aware that the matter lay so deep +in her heart. I knew not how to tell her that my brother had said, it +could not be. I could have wept over her when I read this paper; and I +owned myself by a whisper justly rebuked. She charged me not to let any +man see this; particularly not either of those present: and do you, +Harriet, keep what I have written of Lady Anne to yourself. + +My aunt Eleanor has written a congratulatory letter to me from York. Sir +Charles, it seems, had acquainted her with Lord G----'s day, [Not my day, +Harriet! that is not the phrase, I hope!] as soon as he knew it himself; +and she writes, supposing that I was actually offered on it. Women are +victims on these occasions: I hope you'll allow me that. My brother has +made it a point of duty to acquaint his father's sister with every matter +of consequence to the family; and now, she says, that both her nieces are +so well disposed of, she will come to town very quickly to see her new +relations and us; and desires we will make room for her. And yet she +owns, that my brother has informed her of his being obliged to go abroad; +and she supposes him gone. As he is the beloved of her heart, I wonder +she thinks of making this visit now he is absent: but we shall all be +glad to see my aunt Nell. She is a good creature, though an old maid. I +hope the old lady has not utterly lost either her invention, or memory; +and then, between both, I shall be entertained with a great number of +love-stories of the last age; and perhaps of some dangers and escapes; +which may serve for warnings for Emily. Alas! alas! they will come too +late for your Charlotte! + +I have written already the longest letter that I ever wrote in my life: +yet it is prating; and to you, to whom I love to prate. I have not near +done. + +You bid me be good; and you threaten me, if I am not, with the ill +opinion of all your friends: but I have such an unaccountable bias for +roguery, or what shall I call it? that I believe it is impossible for me +to take your advice. I have been examining myself. What a deuse is the +matter with me, that I cannot see my honest man in the same advantageous +light in which he appears to everybody else? Yet I do not, in my heart, +dislike him. On the contrary, I know not, were I to look about me, far +and wide, the man I would have wished to have called mine, rather than +him. But he is so important about trifles; so nimble, yet so slow: he is +so sensible of his own intention to please, and has so many antic motions +in his obligingness; that I cannot forbear laughing at the very time that +I ought perhaps to reward him with a gracious approbation. + +I must fool on a little while longer, I believe: permit me, Harriet, so +to do, as occasions arise. + + +*** + + +An instance, an instance in point, Harriet. Let me laugh as I write. I +did at the time.--What do you laugh at, Charlotte?--Why this poor man, +or, as I should rather say, this lord and master of mine, has just left +me. He has been making me both a compliment, and a present. And what do +you think the compliment is? Why, if I please, he will give away to a +virtuoso friend, his collection of moths and butterflies: I once, he +remembered, rallied him upon them. And by what study, thought I, wilt +thou, honest man, supply their place? If thou hast a talent this way, +pursue it; since perhaps thou wilt not shine in any other. And the best +any thing, you know, Harriet, carries with it the appearance of +excellence. Nay, he would also part with his collection of shells, if I +had no objection. + +To whom, my lord?--He had not resolved.--Why then, only as Emily is too +little of a child, or you might give them to her. 'Too little of a +child, madam!' and a great deal of bustle and importance took possession +of his features--Let me tell you, madam--I won't let you, my lord; and I +laughed. + +Well, madam, I hope here is something coming up that you will not disdain +to accept of yourself. + +Up came groaning under the weight, or rather under the care, two servants +with baskets: a fine set of old Japan china with brown edges, believe me. +They sat down their baskets, and withdrew. + +Would you not have been delighted, Harriet, to see my lord busying +himself with taking out, and putting in the windows, one at a time, the +cups, plates, jars, and saucers, rejoicing and parading over them, and +shewing his connoisseurship to his motionless admiring wife, in +commending this and the other piece as a beauty? And, when he had done, +taking the liberty, as he phrased it, half fearful, half resolute, to +salute his bride for his reward; and then pacing backwards several steps, +with such a strut and a crow--I see him yet!--Indulge me, Harriet!--I +burst into a hearty laugh; I could not help it: and he, reddening, looked +round himself, and round himself, to see if anything was amiss in his +garb. The man, the man! honest friend, I could have said, (but had too +much reverence for my husband,) is the oddity! Nothing amiss in the +garb. I quickly recollected myself, however, and put him in a good +humour, by proper marks of my gracious acceptance. On reflection, I +could not bear myself for vexing the honest man when he had meant to +oblige me. + +How soon I may relapse again, I know not.--O Harriet! Why did you +beseech me to be good? I think in my heart I have the stronger +inclination to be bad for it! You call me perverse: if you think me so, +bid me be saucy, bid me be bad; and I may then, like other good wives, +take the contrary course for the sake of dear contradiction. + +Shew not, however, (I in turn beseech you) to your grandmamma and aunt, +such parts of this letter as would make them despise me. You say, you +stand up for me; I have need of your advocateship: never let me want it. +And do I not, after all, do a greater credit to my good man, when I can +so heartily laugh in the wedded state, than if I were to sit down with my +finger in my eye? + +I have taken your advice, and presented my sister with my half of the +jewels. I desired her to accept them, as they were my mother's, and for +her sake. This gave them a value with her, more than equal with their +worth: but Lord L---- is uneasy, and declares he will not suffer Lady +L---- long to lie under the obligation. Were every one of family in +South Britain and North Britain to be as generous and disinterested as +Lord L---- and our family, the union of the two parts of the island would +be complete. + + +*** + + +Lord help this poor obliging man! I wish I don't love him, at last. He +has taken my hint, and has presented his collection of shells (a very +fine one, he says, it is) to Emily; and they two are actually busied (and +will be for an hour or two, I doubt not) in admiring them; the one +strutting over the beauties, in order to enhance the value of the +present; the other courtesying ten times in a minute, to shew her +gratitude. Poor man! When his virtuoso friend has got his butterflies +and moths, I am afraid he must set up a turner's shop, for employment. +If he loved reading, I could, when our visiting hurries are over, set him +to read to me the new things that come out, while I knot or work; and, if +he loved writing, to copy the letters which pass between you and me, and +those for you which I expect with so much impatience from my brother by +means of Dr. Bartlett. I think he spells pretty well, for a lord. + +I have no more to say, at present, but compliments, without number or +measure, to all you so deservedly love and honour; as well those I have +not seen, as those I have. + +Only one thing: Reveal to me all the secrets of your heart, and how that +heart is from time to time affected; that I may know whether you are +capable of that greatness of mind in a love-case, that you shew in all +others. We will all allow you to love Sir Charles Grandison. Those who +do, give honour to themselves, if their eyes stop not at person, his +having so many advantages. For the same reason, I make no apologies, and +never did, for praising my brother, as any other lover of him might do. + +Let me know every thing how and about your fellows, too. Ah! Harriet, +you make not the use of power that I would have done in your situation. +I was half-sorry when my hurrying brother made me dismiss Sir Walter; and +yet, to have but two danglers after one, are poor doings for a fine lady. +Poorer still, to have but one! + +Here's a letter as long as my arm. Adieu. I was loath to come to the +name: but defer it ever so long, I must subscribe, at last, + +CHARLOTTE G----. + + + +LETTER XXXVIII + +MISS JERVOIS, TO MISS BYRON* +MONDAY, MAY 1. + +* The letter to which this is an answer, as well as those written by Miss +Byron to her cousin Reeves, Lady L----, &c., and theirs in return, are +omitted. + + +O my dearest, my honoured Miss Byron, how you have shamed your Emily by +sending a letter to her; such a sweet letter too! before I have paid my +duty to you, in a letter of thanks for all your love to me, and for all +your kind instructions. But I began once, twice, and thrice, and wrote a +great deal each time, but could not please myself: you, madam, are such a +writer, and I am such a poor thing at my pen!--But I know you will accept +the heart. And so my very diffidence shews pride; since it cannot be +expected from me to be a fine writer: and yet this very letter, I +foresee, will be the worse for my diffidence, and not the better: for I +don't like this beginning, neither.--But come, it shall go. Am I not +used to your goodness? And do you not bid me prattle to you, in my +letters, as I used to do in your dressing-room? O what sweet advice have +you, and do you return for my silly prate! And so I will begin. + +And was you grieved at parting with your Emily on Saturday morning? I am +sure I was very much concerned at parting with you. I could not help +crying all the way to town; and Lady G---- shed tears as well as I, and +so did Lady L---- several times; and said, You were the loveliest, best +young lady in the world. And we all praised likewise your aunt, your +cousin Lucy, and young Mr. Selby. How good are all your relations! They +must be good! And Lord L----, and Lord G----, for men, were as much +concerned as we, at parting with you. Mr. Reeves was so dull all the +way!--Poor Mr. Reeves, he was very dull. And Mr. Beauchamp, he praised +you to the very skies; and in such a pretty manner too! Next to my +guardian, I think Mr. Beauchamp is a very agreeable man. I fancy these +noble sisters, if the truth were known, don't like him so well as their +brother does: perhaps that may be the reason, out of jealousy, as I may +say, if there be any thing in my observation. But they are vastly civil +to him, nevertheless; yet they never praise him when his back is turned; +as they do others, who can't say half the good things that he says. + +Well, but enough of Mr. Beauchamp. My guardian! my gracious, my kind, my +indulgent guardian! who, that thinks of him, can praise any body else? + +O, madam! Where is he now? God protect and guide my guardian, wherever +he goes! This is my prayer, first and last, and I can't tell how often +in the day. I look for him in every place I have seen him in; [And pray +tell me, madam, did not you do so when he had left us?] and when I can't +find him, I do so sigh!--What a pleasure, yet what a pain, is there in +sighing, when I think of him! Yet I know I am an innocent girl. And +this I am sure of, that I wish him to be the husband of but one woman in +the whole world; and that is you. But then my next wish is--You know +what--Ah, my Miss Byron! you must let me live with you and my guardian, +if you should ever be Lady Grandison. + +But here, madam, are sad doings sometimes, between Lord and Lady G----. +I am very angry at her often in my heart; yet I cannot help laughing, +now and then, at her out-of-the-way sayings. Is not her character a very +new one? Or are there more such young wives? I could not do as she +does, were I to be queen of the globe. Every body blames her. She will +make my lord not love her, at last. Don't you think so? And then what +will she get by her wit? + + +*** + + +Just this moment she came into my closet--Writing, Emily? said she: To +whom?--I told her.--Don't tell tales out of school, Emily.--I was so +afraid that she would have asked to see what I had written: but she did +not. To be sure she is very polite, and knows what belongs to herself, +and every body else: To be ungenerous, as you once said, to her husband +only, that is a very sad thing to think of. + +Well, and I would give any thing to know if you think what I have written +tolerable, before I go any farther: But I will go on in this way, since I +cannot do better. Bad is my best; but you shall have quantity, I +warrant, since you bid me write long letters. + +But I have seen my mother: it was but yesterday. She was in a mercer's +shop in Covent Garden. I was in Lord L----'s chariot; only Anne was with +me. Anne saw her first. I alighted, and asked her blessing in the shop: +I am sure I did right. She blessed me, and called me dear love. I +stayed till she had bought what she wanted, and then I slid down the +money, as if it were her own doing; and glad I was I had so much about +me: It came but to four guineas. I begged her, speaking low, to forgive +me for so doing: And finding she was to go home as far as Soho, and had +thoughts of having a hackney coach called; I gave Anne money for a coach +for herself, and waited on my mother to her own lodgings; and it being +Lord L----'s chariot, she was so good as to dispense with my alighting. + +She blessed my guardian all the way, and blessed me. She said, she would +not ask me to come to see her, because it might not be thought proper, as +my guardian was abroad: but she hoped, she might be allowed to come and +see me sometimes.--Was she not very good, madam? But my guardian's +goodness makes every body good.--O that my mamma had been always the +same! I should have been but too happy! + +God bless my guardian, for putting me on enlarging her power to live +handsomely. Only as a coach brings on other charges, and people must +live accordingly, or be discredited, instead of credited, by it; or I +should hope the additional two hundred a-year might afford them one. Yet +one does not know but Mr. O'Hara may have been in debt before he married +her; and I fancy he has people who hang upon him. But if it pleases God, +I will not, when I am at age, and have a coach of my own, suffer my +mother to walk on foot. What a blessing is it, to have a guardian that +will second every good purpose of one's heart! + +Lady Olivia is rambling about; and I suppose she will wait here in +England till Sir Charles's return: but I am sure he never will have her. +A wicked wretch, with her poniards! Yet it is pity! She is a fine +woman. But I hate her for her expectation, as well as for her poniard. +And a woman to leave her own country, to seek for a husband! I could die +before I could do so! though to such a man as my guardian. Yet once I +thought I could have liked to have lived with her at Florence. She has +some good qualities, and is very generous, and in the main well esteemed +in her own country; every body knew she loved my guardian: but I don't +know how it is; nobody blamed her for it, vast as the difference in +fortune then was. But that is the glory of being a virtuous man; to love +him is a credit, instead of a shame. O madam! Who would not be +virtuous? And that not only for their own, but for their friends sakes, +if they loved their friends, and wished them to be well thought of? + +Lord W---- is very desirous to hasten his wedding. + +Mr. Beauchamp says, that all the Mansfields (He knows them) bless my +guardian every day of their lives; and their enemies tremble. He has +commissions from my guardian to inquire and act in their cause, that no +time may be lost to do them service, against his return. + +We have had another visit from Lady Beauchamp, and have returned it. She +is very much pleased with us: You see I say us. Indeed my two dear +ladies are very good to me; but I have no merit: it is all for their +brother's sake. + +Mr. Beauchamp tells us, just now, that his mother-in-law has joined with +his father, at her own motion, to settle 1000£. a year upon him. I am +glad of it, with all my heart: Are not you? He is all gratitude upon it. +He says, that he will redouble his endeavours to oblige her; and that his +gratitude to her, as well as his duty to his father, will engage his +utmost regard for her. + +Mr. Beauchamp, Sir Harry himself, and my lady, are continually blessing +my guardian: Every body, in short, blesses him.--But, ah! madam, where is +he, at this moment? O that I were a bird! that I might hover over his +head, and sometimes bring tidings to his friends of his motions and good +deeds. I would often flap my wings, dear Miss Byron, at your chamber +window, as a signal of his welfare, and then fly back again, and perch as +near him as I could. + +I am very happy, as I said before, in the favour of Lady and Lord L----, +and Lady and Lord G----; but I never shall be so happy, as when I had the +addition of your charming company. I miss you and my guardian: O, how I +miss you both! But, dearest Miss Byron, love me not the less, though now +I have put pen to paper, and you see what a poor creature I am in my +writing. Many a one, I believe, may be thought tolerable in +conversation; but when they are so silly as to put pen to paper, they +expose themselves; as I have done, in this long piece of scribble. But +accept it, nevertheless, for the true love I bear you; and a truer love +never flamed in any bosom, to any one the most dearly beloved, than does +in mine for you. + +I am afraid I have written arrant nonsense, because I knew not how to +express half the love that is in the heart of + +Your ever-obliged and affectionate +EMILY JERVOIS. + + +LETTER XXXIX + +MISS BYRON, TO LADY G---- +TUESDAY, MAY 2. + + +I have no patience with you, Lady G----. You are ungenerously playful! +Thank Heaven, if this be wit, that I have none of it. But what signifies +expostulating with one who knows herself to be faulty, and will not +amend? How many stripes, Charlotte, do you deserve?--But you never +spared any body, not even your brother, when the humour was upon you. So +make haste; and since you will lay in stores for repentance, fill up your +measure as fast as you can. + +'Reveal to you the state of my heart!'--Ah, my dear! it is an +unmanageable one. 'Greatness of mind!'--I don't know what it is!--All +his excellencies, his greatness, his goodness, his modesty, his +cheerfulness under such afflictions as would weigh down every other heart +that had but half the compassion in it with which his overflows--Must not +all other men appear little, and, less than little, nothing, in my eyes? +--It is an instance of patience in me, that I can endure any of them who +pretend to regard me out of my own family. + +I thought, that when I got down to my dear friends here, I should be +better enabled, by their prudent counsels, to attain the desirable frame +of mind which I had promised myself: but I find myself mistaken. My +grandmamma and aunt are such admirers of him, take such a share in the +disappointment, that their advice has not the effect I had hoped it would +have. Lucy, Nancy, are perpetually calling upon me to tell them +something of Sir Charles Grandison; and when I begin, I know not how to +leave off. My uncle rallies me, laughs at me, sometimes reminds me of +what he calls my former brags. I did not brag, my dear: I only hoped, +that respecting as I did every man according to his merit, I should never +be greatly taken with any one, before duty added force to the +inclination. Methinks the company of the friends I am with, does not +satisfy me; yet they never were dearer to me than they now are. I want +to have Lord and Lady L----, Lord and Lady G----, Dr. Bartlett, my Emily, +with me. To lose you all at once!--is hard!--There seems to be a strange +void in my heart--And so much, at present, for the state of that heart. + +I always had reason to think myself greatly obliged to my friends and +neighbours all around us; but never, till my return, after these few +months absence, knew how much. So many kind visitors; such unaffected +expressions of joy on my return; that had I not a very great +counterbalance on my heart, would be enough to make me proud. + +My grandmamma went to Shirley-manor on Saturday; on Monday I was with her +all day: but she would have it that I should be melancholy if I staid +with her. And she is so self-denyingly careful of her Harriet! There +never was a more noble heart in woman. But her solitary moments, as my +uncle calls them, are her moments of joy. And why? Because she then +divests herself of all that is either painful or pleasurable to her in +this life: for she says, that her cares for her Harriet, and especially +now, are at least a balance for the delight she takes in her. + +You command me to acquaint you with what passes between me and the +gentlemen in my neighbourhood; in your style, my fellows. + +Mr. Fenwick invited himself to breakfast with my aunt Selby yesterday +morning. I would not avoid him. + +I will not trouble you with the particulars: you know well enough what +men will say on the subject upon which you will suppose he wanted to talk +to me. He was extremely earnest. I besought him to accept my thanks for +his good opinion of me, as all the return I could make him for it; and +this in so very serious a manner, that my heart was fretted, when he +declared, with warmth, his determined perseverance. + +Mr. Greville made us a tea-visit in the afternoon. My uncle and he +joined to rally us poor women, as usual. I left the defence of the sex +to my aunt and Lucy. How poor appears to me every conversation now with +these men!--But hold, saucy Harriet, was not your uncle Selby one of the +raillers?--But he does not believe all he says; and therefore cannot +wish to be so much regarded, on this topic, as he ought to be by me, on +others. + +After the run of raillery was over, in which Mr. Greville made exceptions +favourable to the women present, he applied to every one for their +interest with me, and to me to countenance his address. He set forth his +pretensions very pompously, and mentioned a very considerable increase of +his fortune; which before was a very handsome one. He offered our own +terms. He declared his love for me above all women, and made his +happiness in the next world, as well as in this, depend upon my favour to +him. + +It was easy to answer all he said; and is equally so for you to guess in +what manner I answered him: And he, finding me determined, began to grow +vehement, and even affrontive. He hinted to me, that he knew what had +made me so very resolute. He threw out threatenings against the man, be +he whom he would, that should stand in the way of his success with me; at +the same time intimating saucily, as I may say, (for his manner had +insult in it,) that it was impossible a certain event could ever take +place. + +My uncle was angry with him; so was my aunt: Lucy was still more angry +than they: but I, standing up, said, Pray, my dear friends, take nothing +amiss that Mr. Greville has said.--He once told me, that he would set +spies upon my conduct in town. If, sir, your spies have been just, I +fear nothing they can say. But the hints you have thrown out, shew such +a total want of all delicacy of mind, that you must not wonder if my +heart rejects you. Yet I am not angry: I reproach you not: Every one has +his peculiar way. All that is left me to say or to do, is to thank you +for your favourable opinion of me, as I have thanked Mr. Fenwick; and to +desire that you will allow me to look upon you as my neighbour, and only +as my neighbour. + +I courtesied to him, and withdrew. + +But my great difficulty had been before with Mr. Orme. + +His sister had desired that I would see her brother. He and she were +invited by my aunt to dinner on Tuesday. They came. Poor man! He is +not well! I am sorry for it. Poor Mr. Orme is not well! He made me +such honest compliments, as I may say: his heart was too much in his +civilities to raise them above the civilities that justice and truth +might warrant in favour of a person highly esteemed. Mine was filled +with compassion for him; and that compassion would have shewn itself in +tokens of tenderness, more than once, had I not restrained myself for his +sake. How you, my dear Lady G----, can delight in giving pain to an +honest heart, I cannot imagine. I would make all God Almighty's +creatures happy, if I could; and so would your noble brother. Is he not +crossing dangerous seas, and ascending, through almost perpetual snows, +those dreadful Alps which I have heard described with such terror, for +the generous end of relieving distress? + +I made Mr. Orme sit next me. I was assiduous to help him, and to do him +all the little offices which I thought would light up pleasure in his +modest countenance; and he was quite another man. It gave delight to his +sister, and to all my friends, to see him smile, and look happy. + +I think, my dear Lady G----, that when Mr. Orme looks pleasant, and at +ease, he resembles a little the good-natured Lord G----. O that you +would take half the pains to oblige him, that I do to relieve Mr. Orme!-- +Half the pains, did I say? That you would not take pains to dis-oblige +him; and he would be, of course, obliged. Don't be afraid, my dear, +that, in such a world as this, things will not happen to make you uneasy +without your studying for them. + +Excuse my seriousness: I am indeed too serious, at times. + +But when Mr. Orme requested a few minutes' audience of me, as he called +it, and I walked with him into the cedar parlour, which you have heard me +mention, and with which I hope you will be one day acquainted; he paid, +poor man! for his too transient pleasure. Why would he urge a denial +that he could not but know I must give? + +His sister and I had afterwards a conference. She pleaded too strongly +her brother's health, and even his life; both which, she would have it, +depended on my favour to him. I was greatly affected; and at last +besought her, if she valued my friendship as I did hers, never more to +mention to me a subject which gave me a pain too sensible for my peace. + +She requested me to assure her, that neither Mr. Greville, nor Mr. +Fenwick, might be the man. They both took upon them, she said, to +ridicule her brother for the profound respect, even to reverence, that he +bore me; which, if he knew, might be attended with consequences: for that +her brother, mild and gentle as was his passion for me, had courage to +resent any indignities that might be cast upon him by spirits boisterous +as were those of the two gentlemen she had named. She never, therefore, +told her brother of their scoffs. But it would go to her heart, if +either of them should succeed, or have reason but for a distant hope. + +I made her heart easy, on that score. + +I have just now heard, that Sir Hargrave Pollexfen is come from abroad +already. What can be the meaning of it? He is so low-minded, so +malicious a man, and I have suffered so much from him--What can be the +meaning of his sudden return? I am told, that he is actually in London. +Pray, my dear Lady G----, inform yourself about him; and whether he +thinks of coming into these parts. + +Mr. Greville, when he met us at Stoney-Stratford, threw out menaces +against Sir Hargrave, on my account; and said, It was well he was gone +abroad. I told him then, that he had no business, even were Sir Hargrave +present, to engage himself in my quarrels. + +Mr. Greville is an impetuous man; a man of rough manners; and makes many +people afraid of him. He has, I believe, indeed, had his spies about me; +for he seems to know every thing that has befallen me in my absence from +Selby House. + +He has dared also to threaten somebody else. Insolent wretch! But he +hinted to me yesterday, that he was exceedingly pleased with the news, +that a certain gentleman was gone abroad, in order to prosecute a former +amour, was the light wretch's as light expression. If my indignant eyes +could have killed him, he would have fallen dead at my feet. + +Let the constant and true respects of all my friends to you and yours, +and to my beloved Emily, be always, for the future, considered as very +affectionately expressed, whether the variety of other subjects leaves +room for a particular expression of them, or not, by, my dearest Lady +G----, + +Your faithful, and ever-obliged +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XL + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +SATURDAY, MAY 6. + + +I thank you, Harriet, for yours. What must your fellows think of you? +In this gross age, your delicacy must astonish them. There used to be +more of it formerly. But how should men know any thing of it, when women +have forgot it? Lord be thanked, we females, since we have been admitted +into so constant a share of the public diversions, want not courage. We +can give the men stare for stare wherever we meet them. The next age, +nay, the rising generation, must surely be all heroes and heroines. But +whither has this word delicacy carried me? Me, who, it seems, have +faults to be corrected for of another sort; and who want not the courage +for which I congratulate others? + +But to other subjects. I could write a vast deal of stuff about my lord +and self, and Lord and Lady L----, who assume parts which I know not how +to allow them: and sometimes they threaten me with my brother's +resentments, sometimes with my Harriet's; so that I must really have +leading-strings fastened to my shoulders. O, my dear, a fond husband is +a surfeiting thing; and yet I believe most women love to be made monkeys +of. + + +*** + + +But all other subjects must now give way. We have heard of, though not +from, my brother. A particular friend of Mr. Lowther was here with a +letter from that gentleman, acquainting us, that Sir Charles and he were +arrived at Paris. + +Mr. Beauchamp was with us when Mr. Lowther's friend came. He borrowed +the letter on account of the extraordinary adventure mentioned in it. + +Make your heart easy, in the first place, about Sir Hargrave. He is +indeed in town; but very ill. He was frightened into England, and +intends not ever again to quit it. In all probability, he owes it to my +brother that he exists. + +Mr. Beauchamp went directly to Cavendish-square, and informed himself +there of other particulars relating to the affair, from the very servant +who was present, and acting in it; and from those particulars, and Mr. +Lowther's letter, wrote one for Dr. Bartlett. Mr. Beauchamp obliged me +with the perusal of what he wrote; whence I have extracted the following +account: for his letter is long and circumstantial; and I did not ask his +leave to take a copy, as he seemed desirous to hasten it to the doctor. + + +On Wednesday, the 19-30 of April, in the evening, as my brother was +pursuing his journey to Paris, and was within two miles of that capital, +a servant-man rode up, in visible terror, to his post-chaise, in which +were Mr. Lowther and himself, and besought them to hear his dreadful +tale. The gentlemen stopt, and he told them, that his master, who was an +Englishman, and his friend of the same nation, had been but a little +while before attacked, and forced out of the road in their post-chaise, +as he doubted not, to be murdered, by no less than seven armed horsemen; +and he pointed to a hill, at distance, called Mont Matre, behind which +they were, at that moment, perpetrating their bloody purpose. He had +just before, he said, addressed himself to two other gentlemen, and their +retinue, who drove on the faster for it. + +The servant's great coat was open; and Sir Charles observing his livery, +asked him, If he were not a servant of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen? and was +answered in the affirmative. + +There are, it seems, trees planted on each side the road from St. Denis +to Paris, but which, as France is an open and uninclosed country, would +not, but for the hill, have hindered the seeing a great way off, the +scuffling of so many men on horseback. There is also a ditch on either +hand; but places left for owners to come at their grounds, with their +carts, and other carriages. Sir Charles ordered the post boy to drive to +one of those passages; saying, He could not forgive himself, if he did +not endeavour to save Sir Hargrave, and his friend, whose name the man +told him was Merceda. + +His own servants were three in number, besides one of Mr. Lowther. My +brother made Mr. Lowther's servant dismount; and, getting himself on his +horse, ordered the others to follow him. He begged Mr. Lowther to +continue in the chaise, bidding the dismounted servant stay, and attend +his master, and galloped away towards the hill. His ears were soon +pierced with the cries of the poor wretches; and presently he saw two men +on horseback holding the horses of four others, who had under them the +two gentlemen, struggling, groaning, and crying out for mercy. + +Sir Charles, who was a good way a-head of his servants, calling out to +spare the gentlemen, and bending his course to relieve the prostrate +sufferers, two of the four quitted their prey, and mounting, joined the +other two horsemen, and advanced to meet him, with a shew of supporting +the two men on foot in their violence; who continued laying on the +wretches, with the but-ends of their whips, unmercifully. + +As the assailants offered not to fly, and as they had more than time +enough to execute their purpose, had it been robbery and murder; Sir +Charles concluded it was likely that these men were actuated by a private +revenge. He was confirmed in this surmise, when the four men on +horseback, though each had his pistol ready drawn, as Sir Charles also +had his, demanded a conference; warning Sir Charles how he provoked his +fate by his rashness; and declaring, that he was a dead man if he fired. + +Forbear, then, said Sir Charles, all further violences to the gentlemen, +and I will hear what you have to say. + +He then put his pistol into his holster; and one of his servants being +come up, and the two others at hand, (to whom he called out, not to fire +till they had his orders,) he gave him his horse's reins; bidding him +have an eye on the holsters of both, and leapt down; and, drawing his +sword, made towards the two men who were so cruelly exercising their +whips; and who, on his approach, retired to some little distance, drawing +their hangers. + +The four men on horseback joined the two on foot, just as they were +quitting the objects of their fury; and one of them said, Forbear, for +the present, further violence, brother; the gentleman shall be told the +cause of all this.--Murder, sir, said he, is not intended; nor are we +robbers: the men whom you are solicitous to save from our vengeance, are +villains. + +Be the cause what it will, answered Sir Charles, you are in a country +noted for doing speedy justice, upon proper application to the +magistrates. In the same instant he raised first one groaning man, then +the other. Their heads were all over bloody, and they were so much +bruised, that they could not extend their arms to reach their wigs and +hats, which lay near them; nor put them on without Sir Charles's help. + +The men on foot by this time had mounted their horses, and all six stood +upon their defence; but one of them was so furious, crying out, that his +vengeance should be yet more complete, that two of the others could +hardly restrain him. + +Sir Charles asked Sir Hargrave and Mr. Merceda, Whether they had reason +to look upon themselves as injured men, or injurers? One of the +assailants answered, That they both knew themselves to be villains. + +Either from consciousness, or terror, perhaps from both, they could not +speak for themselves, but by groans; nor could either of them stand or +sit upright. + +Just then came up, in the chaise, Mr. Lowther and his servant, each a +pistol in his hand. He quitted the chaise, when he came near the +suffering men; and Sir Charles desired him instantly to examine whether +the gentlemen were dangerously hurt, or not. + +The most enraged of the assailants, having slipt by the two who were +earnest to restrain him, would again have attacked Mr. Merceda; offering +a stroke at him with his hanger: but Sir Charles (his drawn sword still +in his hand) caught hold of his bridle; and, turning his horse's head +aside, diverted a stroke, which, in all probability, would otherwise have +been a finishing one. + +They all came about Sir Charles, bidding him, at his peril, use his sword +upon their friend: and Sir Charles's servants were coming up to their +master's support, had there been occasion. At that instant Mr. Lowther, +assisted by his own servant, was examining the wounds and bruises of the +two terrified men, who had yet no reason to think themselves safe from +further violence. + +Sir Charles repeatedly commanded his servants not to fire, nor approach +nearer, without his orders. The persons, said he, to the assailants, +whom you have so cruelly used, are Englishmen of condition. I will +protect them. Be the provocation what it will, you must know that your +attempt upon them is a criminal one; and if my friend last come up, who +is a very skilful surgeon, shall pronounce them in danger, you shall find +it so. + +Still he held the horse of the furious one; and three of them who seemed +to be principals, were beginning to express some resentment at his +cavalier treatment, when Mr. Lowther gave his opinion, that there was no +apparent danger of death: and then Sir Charles, quitting the man's +bridle, and putting himself between the assailants and sufferers, said, +That as they had not either offered to fly, or to be guilty of violence +to himself, his friend, or servants; he was afraid they had some reason +to think themselves ill used by the gentlemen. But, however, as they +could not suppose they were at liberty, in a civilized country, to take +their revenge on the persons of those who were entitled to the protection +of that country; he should expect, that they would hold themselves to be +personally answerable for their conduct at a proper tribunal. + +The villains, one of the men said, knew who they were, and what the +provocation was; which had merited a worse treatment than they had +hitherto met with. You, sir, proceeded he, seem to be a man of honour, +and temper: we are men of honour, as well as you. Our design, as we told +you, was not to kill the miscreants; but to give them reason to remember +their villainy as long as they lived; and to put it out of their power +ever to be guilty of the like. They have made a vile attempt, continued +he, on a lady's honour at Abbeville; and, finding themselves detected, +and in danger, took roundabout ways, and shifted from one vehicle to +another, to escape the vengeance of her friends. The gentleman, whose +horse you held, and who has reason to be in a passion, is the husband of +the lady. [A Spanish husband, surely, Harriet; not a French one, +according to our notions.] That gentleman, and that, are her brothers. +We have been in pursuit of them two days; for they gave out, (in order, +no doubt, to put us on a wrong scent,) that they were to go to Antwerp. + +And it seems, my dear, that Sir Hargrave and his colleague had actually +sent some of their servants that way; which was the reason that they were +themselves attended but by one. + +The gentleman told Sir Charles that there was a third villain in their +plot. They had hopes, he said, that he would not escape the close +pursuit of a manufacturer at Abbeville, whose daughter, a lovely young +creature, he had seduced, under promises of marriage. Their government, +he observed, were great countenancers of the manufacturers at Abbeville; +and he would have reason, if he were laid hold of, to think himself +happy, if he came off with being obliged to perform his promises. + +This third wretch must be Mr. Bagenhall. The Lord grant, say I, that he +may be laid hold of; and obliged to make a ruined girl an honest woman, +as they phrase it in LANCASHIRE. Don't you wish so, my dear? And let me +add, that had the relations of the injured lady completed their intended +vengeance on those two libertines; (a very proper punishment, I ween, for +all libertines;) it might have helped them to pass the rest of their +lives with great tranquillity; and honest girls might, for any +contrivances of theirs, have passed to and from masquerades without +molestation. + +Sir Hargrave and his companion intended, it seems, at first, to make some +resistance; four only, of the seven, stopping the chaise: but when the +other three came up, and they saw who they were, and knew their own +guilt, their courage failed them. + +The seventh man was set over the post-boy, whom he had led about half a +mile from the spot they had chosen as a convenient one for their purpose. + +Sir Hargrave's servant was secured by them at their first attack; but +after they had disarmed him and his masters, he found an opportunity to +slip from them, and made the best of his way to the road, in hopes of +procuring assistance for them. + +While Sir Charles was busy in helping the bruised wretches on their feet, +the seventh man came up to the others, followed by Sir Hargrave's chaise. +The assailants had retired to some distance, and, after a consultation +together, they all advanced towards Sir Charles; who, bidding his +servants be on their guard, leapt on his horse, with that agility and +presence of mind, for which, Mr. Beauchamp says, he excels most men; and +leading towards them, Do you advance, gentlemen, said he, as friends, or +otherwise?--Mr. Lowther took a pistol in each hand, and held himself +ready to support him; and the servants disposed themselves to obey their +master's orders. + +Our enmity, answered one of them, is only to these two inhospitable +villains: murder, as we told you, was not our design. They know where we +are to be found; and that they are the vilest of men, and have not been +punished equal to their demerits. Let them on their knees ask this +gentleman's pardon; pointing to the husband of the insulted lady. We +insist upon this satisfaction; and upon their promise, that they never +more will come within two leagues of Abbeville; and we will leave them to +your protection. I fancy, Harriet, that these women-frightening heroes +needed not to have been urged to make this promise. + +Sir Charles, turning towards them, said, If you have done wrong, +gentlemen, you ought not to scruple asking pardon. If you know +yourselves to be innocent, though I should be loath to risk the lives of +my friend and servants, yet shall not my countrymen make so undue a +submission. + +The wretches kneeled; and the seven men, civilly saluting Sir Charles and +Mr. Lowther, rode off; to the joy of the two delinquents, who kneeled +again to their deliverer, and poured forth blessings upon the man whose +life, so lately, one of them sought; and whose preservation he had now so +much reason to rejoice in, for the sake of his own safety. + +My brother himself could not but be well pleased that he was not obliged +to come to extremities, which might have ended fatally on both sides. + +By this time Sir Hargrave's post-chaise was come up. He and his +colleague were with difficulty lifted into it. My brother and Mr. +Lowther went into theirs; and being but a small distance from Paris, they +proceeded thither in company; the poor wretches blessing them all the +way; and at Paris found their other servants waiting for them. + +Sir Charles and Mr. Lowther saw them in bed in the lodgings that had been +taken for them. They were so stiff with the bastinado they had met with, +that they were unable to help themselves. Mr. Merceda had been more +severely (I cannot call it more cruelly) treated than the other; for he, +it seems, was the greatest malefactor in the attempt made upon the lady: +and he had, besides, two or three gashes, which, but for his struggles, +would have been but one. + +As you, my dear, always turn pale when the word masquerade is mentioned; +so, I warrant, will ABBEVILLE be a word of terror to these wretches, as +long as they live. + +Their enemies, it seems, carried off their arms; perhaps, in the true +spirit of French chivalry, with a view to lay them, as so many trophies, +at the feet of the insulted lady. + +Mr. Lowther writes, that my brother and he are lodged in the hotel of a +man of quality, a dear friend of the late Mr. Danby, and one of the three +whom he has remembered in his will; and that Sir Charles is extremely +busy in relation to the executorship; and, having not a moment to spare, +desired Mr. Lowther to engage his friend, to whom he wrote, to let us +know as much; and that he was hastening every thing for his journey +onwards. + +Mr. Beauchamp's narrative of this affair is, as I told you, very +circumstantial. I thought to have shortened it more than I have done. I +wish I have not made my abstract confused, in several material places: +but I have not time to clear it up. Adieu, my dear. + +CHARLOTTE G----. + + + +LETTER XLI + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +SUNDAY, MAY 7. + + +I believe I shall become as arrant a scribbler as somebody else. I begin +to like writing. A great compliment to you, I assure you. I see one may +bring one's mind to any thing.--I thought I must have had recourse, when +you and my brother left us, and when I was married, to the public +amusements, to fill up my leisure: and as I have seen every thing worth +seeing of those, many times over; (masquerades excepted, and them I +despise;) time, you know, in that case, would have passed a little +heavily, after having shewn myself, and, by seeing who and who were +together, laid in a little store of the right sort of conversation for +the tea-table. For you know, Harriet, that among us modern fine people, +the company, and not the entertainment, is the principal part of the +raree-show. Pretty enough! to make the entertainment, and pay for it +too, to the honest fellows, who have nothing to do, but to project +schemes to get us together. + +I don't know what to do with this man. I little thought that I was to be +considered as such a doll, such a toy, as he would make me. I want to +drive him out of the house without me, were it but to purvey for me news +and scandal. What are your fine gentlemen fit for else? You know, that, +with all my faults, I have a domestic and managing turn. A man should +encourage that in a wife, and not be perpetually teasing her for her +company abroad, unless he did it with a view to keep her at home. Our +sex don't love to be prescribed to, even in the things from which they +are not naturally averse: and for this very reason, perhaps, because it +becomes us to submit to prescription. Human nature, Harriet, is a +perverse thing. I believe, if my good man wished me to stay at home, I +should torture my brain, as other good wives do, for inventions to go +abroad. + +It was but yesterday, that in order to give him a hint, I pinned my apron +to his coat, without considering who was likely to be a sufferer by it; +and he, getting up, in his usual nimble way, gave it a rent, and then +looked behind him with so much apprehension--Hands folded, eyes goggling, +bag in motion from shoulder to shoulder. I was vexed too much to make +the use of the trick which I had designed, and huffed him. He made +excuses, and looked pitifully; bringing in his soul, to testify that he +knew not how it could be. How it could be! Wretch! When you are always +squatting upon one's clothes, in defiance of hoop, or distance. + +He went out directly, and brought me in two aprons, either of which was +worth twenty of that he so carelessly rent. Who could be angry with him? +--I was, indeed, thinking to chide him for this--As if I were not to be +trusted to buy my own clothes; but he looked at me with so good-natured +an eye, that I relented, and accepted, with a bow of graciousness, his +present; only calling him an odd creature--And that he is, you know, my +dear. + +We live very whimsically, in the main: not above four quarrels, however, +and as many more chidings, in a day. What does the man stay at home for +then so much, when I am at home?--Married people, by frequent absences, +may have a chance for a little happiness. How many debatings, if not +direct quarrels, are saved by the good man's and his meek wife's seeing +each other but once or twice a week! In what can men and women, who are +much together, employ themselves, but in proving and defending, +quarrelling and making up? Especially if they both chance to marry for +love (which, thank Heaven, is not altogether my case); for then both +honest souls, having promised more happiness to each other than they can +possibly meet with, have nothing to do but reproach each other, at least +tacitly, for their disappointment--A great deal of free-masonry in love, +my dear, believe me! The secret, like that, when found out, is hardly +worth the knowing. + +Well, but what silly rattle is this, Charlotte! methinks you say, and put +on one of your wisest looks. + +No matter, Harriet! There may be some wisdom in much folly. Every one +speaks not out so plainly as I do. But when the novelty of an +acquisition or change of condition is over, be the change or the +acquisition what it will, the principal pleasure is over, and other +novelties are hunted after, to keep the pool of life from stagnating. + +This is a serious truth, my dear, and I expect you to praise me for it. +You are very sparing of your praise to poor me; and yet I had rather have +your good word, than any woman's in the world: or man's either, I was +going to say; but I should then have forgot my brother. As for Lord +G----, were I to accustom him to obligingness, I should destroy my own +consequence: for then it would be no novelty; and he would be hunting +after a new folly.--Very true, Harriet. + +Well, but we have had a good serious falling-out; and it still subsists. +It began on Friday night; present, Lord and Lady L----, and Emily. I was +very angry with him for bringing it on before them. The man has no +discretion, my dear; none at all. And what about? Why, we have not made +our appearance at court, forsooth. + +A very confident thing, this same appearance, I think! A compliment made +to fine clothes and jewels, at the expense of modesty. + +Lord G---- pleads decorum--Decorum against modesty, my dear!--But if by +decorum is meant fashion, I have in a hundred instances found decorum +beat modesty out of the house. And as my brother, who would have been +our principal honour on such an occasion, is gone abroad; and as ours is +an elderly novelty, as I may say, [Our fineries were not ready, you know, +before my brother went,] I was fervent against it. + +'I was the only woman of condition, in England, who would be against it.' + +I told my lord, that was a reflection on my sex: but Lord and Lady L----, +who had been spoken to, I believe, by Lady Gertrude, were both on his +side--[I shall have this man utterly ruined for a husband among you]-- +When there were three to one, it would have looked cowardly to yield, you +know. I was brave. But it being proposed for Sunday, and that being at +a little distance, it was not doubted but I would comply. So the night +passed off, with prayings, hopings, and a little mutteration. [Allow me +that word, or find me a better.] The entreaty was renewed in the +morning; but, no!--'I was ashamed of him,' he said. I asked him if he +really thought so?--'He should think so, if I refused him.' Heaven +forbid, my lord, that I, who contend for the liberty of acting, should +hinder you from the liberty of thinking! Only one piece of advice, +honest friend, said I: don't imagine the worst against yourself: and +another, if you have a mind to carry a point with me, don't bring on the +cause before any body else: for that would be to doubt either my duty, or +your own reasonableness. + +As sure as you are alive, Harriet, the man made an exception against +being called honest friend; as if, as I told him, either of the words +were incompatible with quality. So, once, he was as froppish as a child, +on my calling him the man; a higher distinction, I think, than if I had +called him a king, or a prince. THE MAN!--Strange creature! To except to +a distinction that implies, that he is the man of men!--You see what a +captious mortal I have been forced to call my lord. But lord and master +do not always go together; though they do too often, for the happiness of +many a meek soul of our sex. + +Well, this debate seemed suspended, by my telling him, that if I were +presented at court, I would not have either the Earl or Lady Gertrude go +with us, the very people who were most desirous to be there--But I might +not think of that, at the time, you know--I would not be thought very +perverse; only a little whimsical, or so. And I wanted not an excellent +reason for excluding them--'Are their consents to our past affair +doubted, my lord, said I, that you think it necessary for them to appear +to justify us?' + +He could say nothing to this, you know. And I should never forgive the +husband, as I told him, on another occasion, who would pretend to argue, +when he had nothing to say. + +Then (for the baby will be always craving something) he wanted me to go +abroad with him--I forget whither--But to some place that he supposed +(poor man!) I should like to visit. I told him, I dared to say, he +wished to be thought a modern husband, and a fashionable man; and he +would get a bad name, if he could never stir out without his wife. +Neither could he answer that, you know. + +Well, we went on, mutter, mutter, grumble, grumble, the thunder rolling +at a distance; a little impatience now and then, however, portending, +that it would come nearer. But, as yet, it was only, Pray, my dear, +oblige me; and, Pray, my lord, excuse me; till this morning, when he had +the assurance to be pretty peremptory; hinting, that the lord in waiting +had been spoken to. A fine time of it would a wife have, if she were not +at liberty to dress herself as she pleases. Were I to choose again, I do +assure you, my dear, it should not be a man, who by his taste for moths +and butterflies, shells, china, and such-like trifles, would give me +warning, that he would presume to dress his baby, and when he had done, +would perhaps admire his own fancy more than her person. I believe, my +Harriet, I shall make you afraid of matrimony: but I will pursue my +subject, for all that-- + +When the insolent saw that I did not dress, as he would have had me; he +drew out his face, glouting, to half the length of my arm; but was +silent. Soon after Lady L---- sending to know whether her lord and she +were to attend us to the drawing-room, and I returning for answer, that I +should be glad of their company at dinner; he was in violent wrath. +True, as you are alive! and dressing himself in a great hurry, left the +house, without saying, By your leave, With your leave, or whether he +would return to dinner, or not. Very pretty doings, Harriet! + +Lord and Lady L---- came to dinner, however. I thought they were very +kind, and, till they opened their lips, was going to thank them: for +then, it was all elder sister, and insolent brother-in-law, I do assure +you. Upon my word, Harriet, they took upon them. Lady L---- told me, I +might be the happiest creature in the world, if--and there was so good as +to stop. + +One of the happiest only, Lady L----! Who can be happier than you? + +But I, said she, should neither be so, nor deserve to be so, if--Good of +her again, to stop at if. + +We cannot be all of one mind, replied I. I shall be wiser, in time. + +Where was poor Lord G---- gone? + +Poor Lord G---- is gone to seek his fortune, I believe. + +What did I mean? + +I told them the airs he had given himself; and that he was gone without +leave, or notice of return. + +He had served me right, ab-solutely right, Lord L---- said. + +I believed so myself. Lord G---- was a very good sort of man, and ought +not to bear with me so much as he had done: but it would be kind in them, +not to tell him what I had owned. + +The earl lifted up one hand; the countess both. They had not come to +dine with me, they said, after the answer I had returned, but as they +were afraid something was wrong between us. + +Mediators are not to be of one side only, I said: and as they had been so +kindly free in blaming me, I hoped they would be as free with him, when +they saw him. + +And then it was, For God's sake, Charlotte; and, Let me entreat you, Lady +G----. And let me, too, beseech you, madam, said Emily, with tears +stealing down her cheeks. + +You are both very good: you are a sweet girl, Emily. I have a +too-playful heart. It will give me some pain, and some pleasure; but if +I had not more pleasure than pain from my play, I should not be so silly. + +My lord not coming in, and the dinner being ready, I ordered it to be +served.--Won't you wait a little longer for Lord G----? No. I hope he +is safe, and well. He is his own master, as well as mine; (I sighed, I +believe!) and, no doubt, has a paramount pleasure in pursuing his own +choice. + +They raved. I begged that they would let us eat our dinner with comfort. +My lord, I hoped, would come in with a keen appetite, and Nelthorpe +should get a supper for him that he liked. + +When we had dined, and retired into the adjoining drawing-room, I had +another schooling-bout: Emily was even saucy. But I took it all: yet, in +my heart, was vexed at Lord G----'s perverseness. + +At last, in came the honest man. He does not read this, and so cannot +take exceptions, and I hope you will not, at the word honest. + +So lordly! so stiff! so solemn!--Upon my word!--Had it not been Sunday, I +would have gone to my harpsichord directly. He bowed to Lord and Lady +L----, and to Emily, very obligingly; to me he nodded.--I nodded again; +but, like a good-natured fool, smiled. He stalked to the chimney; turned +his back towards it, buttoned up his mouth, held up his glowing face, as +if he were disposed to crow; yet had not won the battle.--One hand in his +bosom; the other under the skirt of his waistcoat, and his posture firmer +than his mind.--Yet was my heart so devoid of malice, that I thought his +attitude very genteel; and, had we not been man and wife, agreeable. + +We hoped to have found your lordship at home, said Lord L----, or we +should not have dined here. + +If Lord G---- is as polite a husband as a man, said I, he will not thank +your lordship for this compliment to his wife. + +Lord G---- swelled, and reared himself up. His complexion, which was +before in a glow, was heightened. + +Poor man! thought I.--But why should my tender heart pity obstinate +people?--Yet I could not help being dutiful.--Have you dined, my lord? +said I, with a sweet smile, and very courteous. + +He stalked to the window, and never a word answered he. + +Pray, Lady L----, be so good as to ask my Lord G---- if he has dined? +Was not this very condescending, on such a behaviour? + +Lady L---- asked him; and as gently-voiced as if she were asking the same +question of her own lord. Lady L---- is a kind-hearted soul, Harriet. +She is my sister. + +I have not, madam, to Lady L----, turning rudely from me, and, not very +civilly, from her. Ah! thought I, these men! The more they are courted +--Wretches! to find their consequence in a woman's meekness--Yet, I could +not forbear shewing mine.--Nature, Harriet! Who can resist constitution? + +What stiff airs are these! approaching him.--I do assure you, my lord, I +shall not take this behaviour well; and put my hand on his arm. + +I was served right. Would you believe it? The man shook off my +condescending hand, by raising his elbow scornfully. He really did! + +Nay, then!--I left him, and retired to my former seat. I was vexed that +it was Sunday: I wanted a little harmony. + +Lord and Lady L---- both blamed me, by their looks; and my lady took my +hand, and was leading me towards him. I shewed a little reluctance: and, +would you have thought it? out of the drawing-room whipt my nimble lord, +as if on purpose to avoid being moved by my concession. + +I took my place again. + +I beg of you, Charlotte, said Lady L----, go to my lord. You have used +him ill. + +When I think so, I will follow your advice, Lady L----. + +And don't you think so, Lady G----? said Lord L----. + +What! for taking my own option how I would be dressed to-day?--What! for +deferring--That moment in came my bluff lord--Have I not, proceeded I, +been forced to dine without him to-day? Did he let me know what account +I could give of his absence? Or when he would return?--And see, now, how +angry he looks! + +He traversed the room--I went on--Did he not shake off my hand, when I +laid it, smiling, on his arm? Would he answer me a question, which I +kindly put to him, fearing he had not dined, and might be sick for want +of eating? Was I not forced to apply to Lady L---- for an answer to my +careful question, on his scornfully turning from me in silence?--Might we +not, if he had not gone out so abruptly, nobody knows where, have made +the appearance his heart is so set upon?--But now, indeed, it is too +late. + +Oons, madam! said he, and he kimboed his arms, and strutted up to me. +Now for a cuff, thought I. I was half afraid of it: but out of the room +again capered he. + +Lord bless me, said I, what a passionate creature is this! + +Lord and Lady L---- both turned from me with indignation. But no wonder +if one, that they both did. They are a silly pair; and I believe have +agreed to keep each other in countenance in all they do. + +But Emily affected me. She sat before in one corner of the room, +weeping; and just then ran to me, and, wrapping her arms about me, Dear, +dear Lady G----, said she, for Heaven's sake, think of what our Miss +Byron said; 'Don't jest away your own happiness.' I don't say who is in +fault: but, my dear lady, do you condescend. It looks pretty in a woman +to condescend. Forgive me; I will run to my lord, and I will beg of +him---- + +Away she ran, without waiting for an answer--and, bringing in the +passionate wretch, hanging on his arm--You must not, my lord, indeed you +must not be so passionate. Why, my lord, you frighted me; indeed you +did. Such a word I never heard from your lordship's mouth-- + +Ay, my lord, said I, you give yourself pretty airs! Don't you? and use +pretty words; that a child shall be terrified at them! But come, come, +ask my pardon, for leaving me to dine without you. + +Was not that tender?--Yet out went Lord and Lady L----. To be sure they +did right, if they withdrew in hopes these kind words would have been +received as reconciliatory ones; and not in displeasure with me, as I am +half-afraid they did: for their good-nature (worthy souls!) does +sometimes lead them into misapprehensions. I kindly laid my hand on his +arm again.--He was ungracious.--Nay, my lord, don't once more reject me +with disdain--If you do--I then smiled most courteously. Carry not your +absurdities, my lord, too far: and I took his hand:--[There, Harriet, was +condescension!]--I protest, sir, if you give yourself any more of these +airs, you will not find me so condescending. Come, come, tell me you are +sorry, and I will forgive you. + +Sorry! madam; sorry!--I am indeed sorry, for your provoking airs! + +Why that's not ill said--But kimboed arms, my lord! are you not sorry for +such an air? And Oons! are you not sorry for such a word? and for such +looks too? and for quarreling with your dinner?--I protest, my lord, you +make one of us look like a child who flings away his bread and butter +because it has not glass windows upon it-- + +Not for one moment forbear, madam!-- + +Pr'ythee, pr'ythee--[I profess I had like to have said honest friend]--No +more of these airs; and, I tell you, I will forgive you. + +But, madam, I cannot, I will not-- + +Hush, hush; no more in that strain, and so loud, as if we had lost each +other in a wood--If you will let us be friends, say so--In an instant--If +not, I am gone--gone this moment--casting off from him, as I may say, +intending to mount up stairs. + +Angel, or demon, shall I call you? said he.--Yet I receive your hand, as +offered. But, for God's sake, madam, let us be happy! And he kissed my +hand, but not so cordially as it became him to do; and in came Lord and +Lady L---- with countenances a little ungracious. + +I took my seat next my own man, with an air of officiousness, hoping to +oblige him by it; and he was obliged: and another day, not yet quite +agreed upon, this parade is to be made. + +And thus began, proceeded, and ended, this doughty quarrel. And who +knows, but before the day is absolutely resolved upon, we may have half a +score more? Four, five, six days, as it may happen, is a great space of +time for people to agree, who are so much together; and one of whom is +playful, and the other will not be played with. But these kimbo and oons +airs, Harriet, stick a little in my stomach; and the man seems not to be +quite come to neither. He is sullen and gloomy, and don't prate away as +he used to do, when we have made up before. + +But I will sing him a song to-morrow: I will please the honest man, if I +can. But he really should not have had for a wife a woman of so sweet a +temper as your + +CHARLOTTE G----. + + + +LETTER XLII + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +MONDAY, MAY 8. + + +My lord and I have had another little--Tiff, shall I call it? It came +not up to a quarrel. Married people would have enough to do, if they +were to trouble their friends every time they misunderstood one another. +And now a word or two of other people: not always scribbling of +ourselves. + +We have just heard, that our cousin Everard has added another fool of our +sex to the number of the weak ones who disgrace it: A sorry fellow! He +has been seen with her, by one whom he would not know, at Cuper's +Gardens; dressed like a sea-officer, and skulking like a thief into the +privatest walks of the place. When he is tired of the poor wretch, he +will want to accommodate with us by promises of penitence and +reformation, as once or twice before. Rakes are not only odious, but +they are despicable fellows. You will the more clearly see this, when I +assure you, from those who know, that this silly creature our cousin is +looked upon, among his brother libertines, and smarts, as a man of first +consideration! + +He has also been seen, in a gayer habit, at a certain gaming-table, near +Covent Garden; where he did not content himself with being an idle +spectator. Colonel Winwood, our informant, shook his head, but made no +other answer, to some of our inquiries. May he suffer! say I.--A sorry +fellow! + +Preparations are going on all so-fast at Windsor. We are all invited. +God grant that Miss Mansfield may be as happy a Lady W----, as we all +conclude she will be! But I never was fond of matches between sober +young women, and battered old rakes. Much good may do the adventurers, +drawn in by gewgaw and title!--Poor things!--But convenience, when that's +the motive, whatever foolish girls think, will hold out its comforts, +while a gratified love quickly evaporates. + +Beauchamp, who is acquainted with the Mansfields, is intrusted by my +brother, in his absence, with the management of the law-affairs. He +hopes, he says, to give a good account of them. The base steward of the +uncle Calvert, who lived as a husband with the woman who had been forced +upon his superannuated master in a doting fit, has been brought, by the +death of one of the children born in Mr. Calvert's life-time, and by the +precarious health of the posthumous one, to make overtures of +accommodation. A new hearing of the cause between them and the Keelings, +is granted; and great things are expected from it in their favour, from +some new lights thrown in upon that suit. The Keelings are frightened +out of their wits, it seems; and are applying to Sir John Lambton, a +disinterested neighbour, to offer himself as a mediator between them. +The Mansfields will so soon be related to us, that I make no apology for +interesting you in their affairs. + +Be sure you chide me for my whimsical behaviour to Lord G----. I know +you will. But don't blame my heart: my head only is wrong. + + +*** + + +A little more from fresh informations of this sorry varlet Everard. I +wished him to suffer; but I wished him not to be so very great a sufferer +as it seems he is. Sharpers have bit his head off, quite close to his +shoulders: they have not left it him to carry under his arm, as the +honest patron of France did his. They lend it him, however, now and +then, to repent with, and curse himself. The creature he attended to +Cuper's Gardens, instead of a country innocent, as he expected her to be, +comes out to be a cast mistress, experienced in all the arts of such, and +acting under the secret influences of a man of quality; who, wanting to +get rid of her, supports her in a prosecution commenced against him (poor +devil!) for performance of covenants. He was extremely mortified, on +finding my brother gone abroad: he intends to apply to him for his pity +and help. Sorry fellow! He boasted to us, on our expectation of our +brother's arrival from abroad, that he would enter his cousin Charles +into the ways of the town. Now he wants to avail himself against the +practices of the sons of that town by his cousin's character and +consequence. + +A combination of sharpers, it seems, had long set him as a man of +fortune: but, on his taking refuge with my brother, gave over for a +time their designs upon him, till he threw himself again in their way. + +The worthless fellow had been often liberal of his promises of marriage +to young creatures of more innocence than this; and thinks it very hard +that he should be prosecuted for a crime which he had so frequently +committed with impunity. Can you pity him? I cannot, I assure you. The +man who can betray and ruin an innocent woman, who loves him, ought to be +abhorred by men. Would he scruple to betray and ruin them, if he were +not afraid of the law?--Yet there are women, who can forgive such +wretches, and herd with them. + +My aunt Eleanor is arrived: a good, plump, bonny-faced old virgin. She +has chosen her apartment. At present we are most prodigiously civil to +each other: but already I suspect she likes Lord G---- better than I +would have her. She will perhaps, if a party should be formed against +your poor Charlotte, make one of it. + +Will you think it time thrown away, to read a further account of what is +come to hand about the wretches who lately, in the double sense of the +word, were overtaken between St. Denis and Paris? + +Sir Hargrave Pollexfen, it seems, still keeps his chamber: he is thought +not to be out of danger from some inward hurt, which often makes him +bring up blood in quantities. He is miserably oppressed by lowness of +spirits; and when he is a little better in that respect, his impatience +makes his friends apprehensive for his head. But has he intellects +strong enough to give apprehensions of that nature? Fool and madman we +often join as terms of reproach; but I believe, fools seldom run really +mad. + +Merceda is in a still more dangerous way. Besides his bruises, and a +fractured skull, he has, it seems, a wound in his thigh, which, in the +delirium he was thrown into by the fracture, was not duly attended to; +and which, but for his valiant struggles against the knife which gave the +wound, was designed for a still greater mischief. His recovery is +despaired of; and the poor wretch is continually offering up vows of +penitence and reformation, if his life may be spared. + +Bagenhall was the person who had seduced, by promises of marriage, and +fled for it, the manufacturer's daughter of Abbeville. He was overtaken +by his pursuers at Douay. The incensed father, and friends of the young +woman, would not be otherwise pacified than by his performing his +promise; which, with infinite reluctance, he complied with, principally +through the threats of the brother, who is noted for his fierceness and +resolution; and who once made the sorry creature feel an argument which +greatly terrified him. Bagenhall is at present at Abbeville, living as +well as he can with his new wife, cursing his fate, no doubt, in secret. +He is obliged to appear fond of her before her brother and father; the +latter being also a sour man, a Gascon, always boasting of his family, +and valuing himself upon a De, affixed by himself to his name, and +jealous of indignity offered to it. The fierce brother is resolved to +accompany his sister to England, when Bagenhall goes thither, in order, +as he declares, to secure to her good usage, and see her owned and +visited by all Bagenhall's friends and relations. And thus much of these +fine gentlemen. + +How different a man is Beauchamp! But it is injuring him, to think of +those wretches and him at the same time. He certainly has an eye to +Emily, but behaves with great prudence towards her: yet every body but +she sees his regard for her: nobody but her guardian runs in her head; +and the more, as she really thinks it is a glory to love him, because of +his goodness. Every body, she says, has the same admiration of him, that +she has. + +Mrs. Reeves desires me to acquaint you, that Miss Clements, having, by +the death of her mother and aunt, come into a pretty fortune, is +addressed to by a Yorkshire gentleman of easy circumstances, and is +preparing to leave the town, having other connexions in that county; but +that she intends to write to you before she goes, and to beg you to +favour her with now and then a letter. + +I think Miss Clements is a good sort of young woman: but I imagined she +would have been one of those nuns at large, who need not make vows of +living and dying aunt Eleanors, or Lady Gertrudes; all three of them good +honest souls! chaste, pious, and plain. It is a charming situation, when +a woman is arrived at such a height of perfection, as to be above giving +or receiving temptation. Sweet innocents! They have my reverence, if +not my love. How would they be affronted, if I were to say pity!--I +think only of my two good aunts, at the present writing. Miss Clements, +you know, is a youngish woman; and I respect her much. One would not +jest upon the unsightliness of person, or plainness of feature: but think +you she will not be one of those, who twenty years hence may put in a +boast of her quondam beauty? + +How I run on! I think I ought to be ashamed of myself. + +'Very true, Charlotte.' + +And so it is, Harriet. I have done--Adieu!--Lord G---- will be silly +again, I doubt; but I am prepared. I wish he had half my patience. + +'Be quiet, Lord G----! What a fool you are!'--The man, my dear, under +pretence of being friends, run his sharp nose in my eye. No bearing his +fondness: It is worse than insolence. How my eye waters!--I can tell +him--But I will tell him, and not you.--Adieu, once more. + +CHARLOTTE G---- + + + +LETTER XLIII + +MR. LOWTHER, TO JOHN ARNOLD, ESQ. +(HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW) IN LONDON. +BOLOGNA, MAY 5-16. + + +I will now, my dear brother, give you a circumstantial account of our +short, but flying journey. The 20th of April, O.S. early in the morning, +we left Paris, and reached Lyons the 24th, at night. + +Resting but a few hours, we set out for Pont Beauvoisin, where we arrived +the following evening: There we bid adieu to France, and found ourselves +in Savoy, equally noted for its poverty and rocky mountains. Indeed it +was a total change of the scene. We had left behind us a blooming +spring, which enlivened with its verdure the trees and hedges on the road +we passed, and the meadows already smiled with flowers. The cheerful +inhabitants were busy in adjusting their limits, lopping their trees, +pruning their vines, tilling their fields: but when we entered Savoy, +nature wore a very different face; and I must own, that my spirits were +great sufferers by the change. Here we began to view on the nearer +mountains, covered with ice and snow, notwithstanding the advanced +season, the rigid winter, in frozen majesty, still preserving its +domains: and arriving at St. Jean Maurienne the night of the 26th, the +snow seemed as if it would dispute with us our passage; and horrible was +the force of the boisterous winds, which sat full in our faces. + +Overpowered by the fatigues I had undergone in the expedition we had +made, the unseasonable coldness of the weather, and the fight of one of +the worst countries under heaven, still clothed in snow, and deformed by +continual hurricanes; I was here taken ill. Sir Charles was greatly +concerned for my indisposition, which was increased by a great lowness of +spirits. He attended upon me in person; and never had man a more kind +and indulgent friend. Here we stayed two days; and then, my illness +being principally owing to fatigue, I found myself enabled to proceed. +At two of the clock in the morning of the 28th, we prosecuted our +journey, in palpable darkness, and dismal weather, though the winds were +somewhat laid, and reaching the foot of Mount Cenis by break of day, +arrived at Lanebourg, a poor little village, so environed by high +mountains, that for three months in the twelve, it is hardly visited by +the cheering rays of the sun. Every object which here presents itself is +excessively miserable. The people are generally of an olive complexion, +with wens under their chins; some so monstrous, especially women, as +quite disfigure them. + +Here it is usual to unscrew and take in pieces the chaises, in order to +carry them on mules over the mountain: and to put them together on the +other side: For the Savoy side of the mountain is much more difficult to +pass than the other. But Sir Charles chose not to lose time; and +therefore lest the chaise to the care of the inn-keeper; proceeding, with +all expedition, to gain the top of the hill. + +The way we were carried, was as follows:--A kind of horse, as it is +called with you, with two poles, like those of chairmen, was the vehicle; +on which is secured a sort of elbow chair, in which the traveller sits. +A man before, another behind, carry this open machine with so much +swiftness, that they are continually running and skipping, like wild +goats, from rock to rock, the four miles of that ascent. If a traveller +were not prepossessed that these mountaineers are the surest-footed +carriers in the universe, he would be in continual apprehensions of being +overturned. I, who never undertook this journey before, must own, that I +could not be so fearless, on this occasion as Sir Charles was, though he +had very exactly described to me how every thing would be. Then, though +the sky was clear when we passed this mountain, yet the cold wind blew +quantities of frozen snow in our faces; insomuch that it seemed to me +just as if people were employed, all the time we were passing, to wound +us with the sharpest needles. They indeed call the wind that brings this +sharp-pointed snow, The Tormenta. + +An adventure, which any-where else might have appeared ridiculous, I was +afraid would have proved fatal to one of our chairmen, as I will call +them. I had flapt down my hat to screen my eyes from the fury of that +deluge of sharp-pointed frozen-snow; and it was blown off my head, by a +sudden gust, down the precipices: I gave it for lost, and was about to +bind a handkerchief over the woolen-cap, which those people provide to +tie under the chin; when one of the assistant carriers (for they are +always six in number to every chair, in order to relieve one another) +undertook to recover it. I thought it impossible to be done; the passage +being, as I imagined, only practicable for birds: however, I promised him +a crown reward, if he did. Never could the leaps of the most dexterous +of rope-dancers be compared to those of this daring fellow: I saw him +sometimes jumping from rock to rock, sometimes rolling down a declivity +of snow like a ninepin, sometimes running, sometimes hopping, skipping; +in short, he descended like lightning to the verge of a torrent, where he +found the hat. He came up almost as quick, and appeared as little +fatigued, as if he had never left us. + +We arrived at the top in two hours, from Lanebourg; and the sun was +pretty high above the horizon. Out of a hut, half-buried in snow, came +some mountaineers, with two poor sledges, drawn by mules, to carry us +through the Plain of Mount Cenis, as it is called, which is about four +Italian miles in length, to the descent of the Italian side of the +mountain. These sledges are not much different from the chairs, or +sedans, or horse, we then quitted; only the two under poles are flat, and +not so long as the others, and turning up a little at the end, to hinder +them from sticking fast in the snow. To the fore-ends of the poles are +fixed two round sticks, about two feet and a half long, which serve for a +support and help to the man who guides the mule, who, running on the snow +between the mule and the sledge, holds the sticks with each hand. + +It was diverting to see the two sledgemen striving to outrun each other. + +Encouraged by Sir Charles's generosity, we very soon arrived at the other +end of the plain. The man who walked, or rather ran, between the sledge +and the mule, made a continual noise; hallooing and beating the stubborn +beast with his fists, which otherwise would be very slow in its motion. + +At the end of this plain we found such another hut as that on the +Lanebourg side. Here they took off the smoking mules from the sledges, +to give them rest. + +And now began the most extraordinary way of travelling that can be +imagined. The descent of the mountain from the top of this side, to a +small village called Novalesa, is four Italian miles. When the snow has +filled up all the inequalities of the mountain, it looks, in many parts, +as smooth and equal as a sugar-loaf. It is on the brink of this rapid +descent that they put the sledge. The man who is to guide it, sits +between the feet of the traveller, who is seated in the elbow-chair, with +his legs at the outside of the sticks fixed at the fore-ends of the flat +poles, and holds the two sticks with his hands; and when the sledge has +gained the declivity, its own weight carries it down with surprising +celerity. But as the immense irregular rocks under the snow make now +and then some edges in the declivity, which, if not avoided, would +overturn the sledge; the guide, who foresees the danger, by putting his +foot strongly and dexterously in the snow next to the precipice, turns +the machine, by help of the above-mentioned sticks, the contrary way, +and by way of zig-zag goes to the bottom. Such was the velocity of this +motion, that we dispatched these four miles in less than five minutes; +and, when we arrived at Novalesa, hearing that the snow was very deep +most of the way to Susa, and being pleased with our way of travelling, we +had some mules put again to the sledges, and ran all the way to the very +gates of that city, which is seven miles distant from Mount Cenis. + +In our way we had a cursory view of the impregnable fortress of Brunetta, +the greatest part of which is cut out of the solid rock, and commands +that important pass. + +We rested all night at Susa; and, having bought a very commodious +post-chaise, we proceeded to Turin, where we dined; and from thence, the +evening of May 2, O.S. got to Parma by way of Alexandria and Placentia, +having purposely avoided the high road through Milan, as it would have +cost us a few hours more time. + +Sir Charles observed to me, when we were on the plain or flat top of +Mount Cenis, that had not the winter been particularly long and severe, +we should have had, instead of this terrible appearance of snow there, +flowers starting up, as it were, under our feet, of various kinds, which +are hardly to be met with anywhere else. One of the greatest dangers, he +told me, in passing this mount in winter, arises from a ball of snow, +which is blown down from the top by the wind, or falls down by some other +accident; which, gathering all the way in its descent, becomes instantly +of such a prodigious bigness, that there is hardly any avoiding being +carried away with it, man and beast, and smothered in it. One of these +balls we saw rolling down; but as it took another course than ours, we +had no apprehension of danger from it. + +At Parma we found expecting us, the bishop of Nocera, and a very reverend +father, Marescotti by name; who expressed the utmost joy at the arrival +of Sir Charles Grandison, and received me, at his recommendation, with a +politeness which seems natural to them. I will not repeat what I have +written before of this excellent young gentleman; intrepidity, bravery, +discretion, as well as generosity, are conspicuous parts of his +character. He is studious to avoid danger; but is unappalled in it. For +humanity, benevolence, providence for others, to his very servants, I +never met with his equal. + +My reception from the noble family to which he has introduced me; the +patient's case, (a very unhappy one!); and a description of this noble +city, and the fine country about it; shall be the subject of my next. +Assure all my friends of my health, and good wishes for them; and, my +dear Arnold, believe me to be + +Ever yours, &c. + + + +LETTER XLIV + +SIR CHARLES GRANDISON, TO DR. BARTLETT +BOLOGNA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 10-21. + + +I told you, my dear and reverend friend, that I should hardly write to +you till I arrived in this city. + +The affair of my executorship obliged me to stay a day longer at Paris +than I intended; but I have put every thing relating to that trust in +such a way, as to answer all my wishes. + +Mr. Lowther wrote to Mr. Arnold, a friend of his in London, the +particulars of the extraordinary affair we were engaged in between St. +Denis and Paris; with desire that he would inform my friends of our +arrival at that capital. + +We were obliged to stop two days at St. Jean de Maurienne. The +expedition we travelled with was too much for Mr. Lowther; and I +expected, and was not disappointed, from the unusual backwardness of the +season, to find the passage over Mount Cenis less agreeable than it +usually is in the beginning of May. + +The bishop of Nocera had offered to meet me any where on his side of the +mountains. I wrote to him from Lyons, that I hoped to see him at Parma, +on or about the very day that I was so fortunate as to reach the palace +of the Count of Belvedere in that city; where I found, that he and Father +Marescotti had arrived the evening before. They, as well as the count, +expressed great joy to see me; and when I presented Mr. Lowther to them, +with the praises due to his skill, and let them know the consultations I +had had with eminent physicians of my own country on Lady Clementina's +case, they invoked blessings upon us both, and would not be interrupted +in them by my eager questions after the health and state of mind of the +two dearest persons of their family.--Unhappy! very unhappy! said the +bishop. Let us give you some refreshment, before we come to particulars. + +To my repeated inquiries, Jeronymo, poor Jeronymo! said the bishop, is +living, and that is all we can say.--The sight of you will be a cordial +to his heart. Clementina is on her journey to Bologna from Naples. You +desired to find her with us, and not at Naples. She is weak; is obliged +to travel slowly. She will rest at Urbino two or three days. Dear +creature! What has she not suffered from the cruelty of her cousin +Laurana, as well as from her malady! The general has been, and is, +indulgent to her. He is married to a lady of great merit, quality, and +fortune. He has, at length, consented that we shall try this last +experiment, as the hearts of my mother and now lately of my father, as +well as mine, are in it. His lady would not be denied accompanying my +sister; and as my brother could not bear being absent from her, he +travels with them. I wish he had stayed at Naples. I hope, however, he +will be as ready, as you will find us all, to acknowledge the favour of +this visit, and the fatigue and trouble you have given yourself on our +account. + +As to my sister's bodily health, proceeded he, it is greatly impaired. +We are almost hopeless, with regard to the state of her mind. She speaks +not; she answers not any questions. Camilla is with her. She seems +regardless of any body else. She has been told, that the general is +married. His lady makes great court to her; but she heeds her not. We +are in hopes, that my mother, on her return to Bologna, will engage her +attention. She never yet was so bad as to forget her duty, either to +God, or her parents. Sometimes Camilla thinks she pays some little +attention to your name; but then she instantly starts, as in terror; +looks round her with fear; puts her finger to her lips, as if she dreaded +her cruel cousin Laurana should be told of her having heard it mentioned. + +The bishop and father both regretted that she had been denied the +requested interview. They were now, they said, convinced, that if that +had been granted, and she had been left to Mrs. Beaumont's friendly care, +a happy issue might have been hoped for: But now, said the bishop--Then +sighed, and was silent. + +I despatched Saunders, early the next morning, to Bologna, to procure +convenient lodgings for me, and Mr. Lowther. + +In the afternoon we set out for that city. The Count of Belvedere found +an opportunity to let me know his unabated passion for Clementina, and +that he had lately made overtures to marry her, notwithstanding her +malady; having been advised, he said, by proper persons, that as it was +not an hereditary, but an accidental disorder, it might be, in time, +curable. He accompanied us about half way in our journey; and, at +parting, Remember, chevalier, whispered he, that Clementina is the soul +of my hope: I cannot forego that hope. No other woman will I ever call +mine. + +I heard him in silence: I admired him for his attachment: I pitied him. +He said, he would tell me more of his mind at Bologna. + +We reached Bologna on the 15th, N.S. Saunders had engaged for me the +lodgings I had before. + +Our conversation on the road turned chiefly on the case of Signor +Jeronymo. The bishop and father were highly pleased with the skill, +founded on practice, which evidently appeared in all that Mr. Lowther +said on the subject: and the bishop once intimated, that, be the event +what it would, his journey to Italy should be made the most beneficial +affair to him he had ever engaged in. Mr. Lowther replied, that as he +was neither a necessitous nor a mean-spirited man, and had reason to be +entirely satisfied with the terms I had already secured to him; he should +take it unkindly, if any other reward were offered him. + +Think, my dear Dr. Bartlett, what emotions I must have on entering, once +more, the gates of the Porretta palace, though Clementina was not there. + +I hastened up to my Jeronymo, who had been apprized of my arrival. The +moment he saw me, Do I once more, said he, behold my friend, my +Grandison? Let me embrace the dearest of men. Now, now, have I lived +long enough. He bowed his head upon his pillow, and meditated me; his +countenance shining with pleasure in defiance of pain. + +The bishop entered: he could not be present at our first interview. + +My lord, said Jeronymo, make it your care that my dear friend be treated, +by every soul of our family, with the gratitude and respect which are due +to his goodness. Methinks I am easier and happier, this moment, than I +have been for the tedious space of time since I last saw him. He named +that space of time to the day, and to the very hour of the day. + +The marquis and marchioness signifying their pleasure to see me, the +bishop led me to them. My reception from the marquis was kind; from his +lady it was as that of a mother to a long-absent son. I had ever been, +she was pleased to say, a fourth son in her eye; and now, that she had +been informed that I had brought over with me a surgeon of experience, +and the advice in writing of eminent physicians of my country, the +obligations I had laid on their whole family, whatever were the success, +were unreturnable. + +I asked leave to introduce Mr. Lowther to them. They received him with +great politeness, and recommended their Jeronymo to his best skill. Mr. +Lowther's honest heart was engaged, by a reception so kind. He never, he +told me afterwards, beheld so much pleasure and pain struggling in the +same countenance, as in that of the lady; so fixed a melancholy, as in +that of the marquis. + +Mr. Lowther is a man of spirit, though a modest man. He is, as on every +proper occasion I found, a man of piety; and has a heart tender as manly. +Such a man, heart and hand, is qualified for a profession which is the +most useful and certain in the art of healing. He is a man of sense and +learning out of his profession, and happy in his address. + +The two surgeons who now attend Signor Jeronymo, are both of this +country. They were sent for. With the approbation, and at the request, +of the family, I presented Mr. Lowther to them; but first gave them his +character, as a modest man, as a man of skill, and experience; and told +them, that he had quitted business, and wanted not either fame or +fortune. + +They acquainted him with the case, and their methods of proceeding. Mr. +Lowther assisted in the dressings that very evening. Jeronymo would have +me to be present. Mr. Lowther suggested an alteration in their method, +but in so easy and gentle a manner, as if he doubted not, but such was +their intention when the state of the wounds would admit of that method +of treatment, that the gentlemen came readily into it. A great deal of +matter had been collected, by means of the wrong methods pursued; and he +proposed, if the patient's strength would bear it, to make an aperture +below the principal wound, in order to discharge the matter downward; and +he suggested the dressing with hollow tents and bandage, and to dismiss +the large tents, with which they had been accustomed to distend the +wound, to the extreme anguish of the patient, on pretence of keeping it +open, to assist the discharge. + +Let me now give you, my dear friend, a brief history of my Jeronymo's +case, and of the circumstances which have attended it; by which you will +be able to account for the difficulties of it, and how it has happened, +that, in such a space of time, either the cure was not effected, or that +the patient yielded not to the common destiny. + +In lingering cases, patients or their friends are sometimes too apt to +blame their physicians, and to listen to new recommendations. The +surgeons attending this unhappy case, had been more than once changed. +Signor Jeronymo, it seems, was unskilfully treated by the young surgeon +of Cremona, who was first engaged: he neglected the most dangerous wound; +and, when he attended to it, managed it wrong, for want of experience. +He is, therefore, very properly dismissed. + +The unhappy man had at first three wounds: one in his breast, which had +been for some time healed; one in his shoulder, which, through his own +impatience, having been too suddenly healed up, was obliged to be laid +open again: the other, which is the most dangerous, in the hip-joint. + +A surgeon of this place, and another of Padua, were next employed. The +cure not advancing, a surgeon of eminence, from Paris, was sent for. + +Mr. Lowther tells me, that this man's method was by far the most +eligible; but that he undertook too much; since, from the first, there +could not be any hope, from the nature of the wound in the hip-joint, +that the patient could ever walk, without sticks or crutches: and of this +opinion were the other two surgeons: but the French gentleman was so very +pragmatical, that he would neither draw with them, nor give reasons for +what he did; regarding them only as his assistants. They could not long +bear this usage, and gave up to him in disgust. + +How cruel is punctilio, among men of this science, in cases of difficulty +and danger! + +The present operators, when the two others had given up, were not, but by +leave of the French gentleman, called in. He valuing himself on his +practice in the Royal Hospital of Invalids at Paris, looked upon them as +theorists only; and treated them with as little ceremony as he had shewn +the others: so that at last, from their frequent differences, it became +necessary to part with either him, or them. His pride, when he knew that +this question was a subject of debate, would not allow him to leave the +family an option. He made his demand: it was complied with; and he +returned to Paris. + +From what this gentleman threw out at parting, to the disparagement of +the two others, Signor Jeronymo suspected their skill; and from a hint of +this suspicion, as soon as I knew I should be welcome myself, I procured +the favour of Mr. Lowther's attendance. + +All Mr. Lowther's fear is, that Signor Jeronymo has been kept too long in +hand by the different managements of the several operators; and that he +will sink under the necessary process, through weakness of habit. But, +however, he is of opinion, that it is requisite to confine him to a +strict diet, and to deny him wine and fermented liquors, in which he has +hitherto been indulged, against the opinion of his own operators, who +have been too complaisant to his appetite. + +An operation somewhat severe was performed on his shoulder yesterday +morning. The Italian surgeons complimented Mr. Lowther with the lancet. +They both praised his dexterity; and Signor Jeronymo, who will be +consulted on every thing that he is to suffer, blessed his gentle hand. + +At Mr. Lowther's request, a physician was yesterday consulted; who +advised some gentle aperitives, as his strength will bear it; and some +balsamics, to sweeten the blood and juices. + +Mr. Lowther told me just now, that the fault of the gentlemen who have +now the care of him, has not been want of skill, but of critical courage, +and a too great solicitude to oblige their patient; which, by their own +account, had made them forego several opportunities which had offered to +assist nature. In short, sir, said he, your friend knows too much of his +own case to be ruled, and too little to qualify him to direct what is to +be done, especially as symptoms must have been frequently changing. + +Mr. Lowther doubts not, he says, but he shall soon convince Jeronymo that +he merits his confidence, and then he will exact it from him; and, in so +doing, shall not only give weight to his own endeavours to serve him, but +rid the other two gentlemen of embarrasments which have often given them +diffidences, when resolution was necessary. + +In the mean time the family here are delighted with Mr. Lowther. They +will flatter themselves, they say, with hopes of their Jeronymo's +recovery; which, however, Mr. Lowther, for fear of disappointment, does +not encourage. Jeronymo himself owns, that his spirits are much revived; +and we all know the power that the mind has over the body. + +Thus have I given you, my reverend friend, a general notion of Jeronymo's +case, as I understand it from Mr. Lowther's as general representation of +it. + +He has prevailed upon him to accept of an apartment adjoining to that of +his patient. Jeronymo said, that when he knows he has so skilful a +friend near him, he shall go to rest with confidence; and good rest is of +the highest consequence to him. What a happiness, my dear Dr. Bartlett, +will fall to my share, if I may be an humble instrument, in the hand of +Providence, to heal this brother; and if his recovery shall lead the way +to the restoration of his sister; each so known a lover of the other, +that the world is more ready to attribute her malady to his misfortune +and danger, than to any other cause! But how early days are these, on +which my love and my compassion for persons so meritorious, embolden me +to build such forward hopes! + +Lady Clementina is now impatiently expected by every one. She is at +Urbino. The general and his lady are with her. His haughty spirit +cannot bear to think she should see me, or that my attendance on her +should be thought of so much importance to her. + +The marchioness, in a conversation that I have just now had with her, +hinted this to me, and besought me to keep my temper, if his high notion +of family and female honour should carry him out of his usual politeness. + +I will give you, my dear friend, the particulars of this conversation. + +She began with saying, that she did not, for her part, now think, that +her beloved daughter, whom once she believed hardly any private man could +deserve, was worthy of me, even were she to recover her reason. + +I could not but guess the meaning of so high a compliment. What answer +could I return that would not, on one hand, be capable of being thought +cool; on the other, of being supposed interested; and as if I were +looking forward to a reward that some of the family still think too high? +But, while I knew my own motives, I could not be displeased with a lady +who was not at liberty to act, in this point, according to her own will. + +I only said, (and it was with truth,) That the calamity of the noble lady +had endeared her to me, more than it was possible the most prosperous +fortune could have done. + +I, my good chevalier, may say any thing to you. We are undetermined +about every thing. We know not what to propose, what to consent to. +Your journey, on the first motion, though but from some of us, the dear +creature continuing ill; you in possession of a considerable estate, +exercising yourself in doing good in your native country; [You must think +we took all opportunities of inquiring after the man once so likely to be +one of us;] the first fortune in Italy, Olivia, though she is not a +Clementina, pursuing you in hopes of calling herself yours; (for to +England we hear she went, and there you own she is;) What obligations +have you laid upon us!--What can we determine upon? What can we wish? + +Providence and you, madam, shall direct my steps. I am in yours and your +lord's power. The same uncertainty, from the same unhappy cause, leaves +me not the thought, because not the power, of determination. The +recovery of Lady Clementina and her brother, without a view to my own +interest, fills up, at present, all the wishes of my heart. + +Let me ask, said the lady, (it is for my own private satisfaction,) Were +such a happy event, as to Clementina, to take place, could you, would +you, think yourself bound by your former offers? + +When I made those offers, madam, the situation on your side was the same +that it is now: Lady Clementina was unhappy in her mind. My fortune, it +is true, is higher: it is, indeed, as high as I wish it to be. I then +declared, that if you would give me your Clementina, without insisting on +one hard, on one indispensable article, I would renounce her fortune, and +trust to my father's goodness to me for a provision. Shall my accession +to the estate of my ancestors alter me?--No, madam: I never yet made an +offer, that I receded from, the circumstances continuing the same. If, +in the article of residence, the marquis, and you, and Clementina, would +relax; I would acknowledge myself indebted to your goodness; but without +conditioning for it. + +I told you, said she, that I put this question only for my own private +satisfaction: and I told you truth. I never will deceive or mislead you. +Whenever I speak to you, it shall be as if, even in your own concerns, I +spoke to a third person; and I shall not doubt but you will have the +generosity to advise, as such, though against yourself. + +May I be enabled to act worthy of your good opinion! I, madam, look upon +myself as bound; you and yours are free. + +What a pleasure is it, my dear Dr. Bartlett, to the proud heart of your +friend, that I could say this!--Had I sought, in pursuance of my own +inclinations, to engage the affections of the admirable Miss Byron, as I +might with honour have endeavoured to do, had not the woes of this noble +family, and the unhappy state of mind of their Clementina, so deeply +affected me; I might have involved myself, and that loveliest of women, +in difficulties which would have made such a heart as mine still more +unhappy than it is. + +Let me know, my dear Dr. Bartlett, that Miss Byron is happy. I rejoice, +whatever be my own destiny, that I have not involved her in my +uncertainties. The Countess of D---- is a worthy woman: the earl, her +son, is a good young man: Miss Byron merits such a mother; the countess +such a daughter. How dear, how important, is her welfare to me!--You +know your Grandison, my good Dr. Bartlett. Her friendship I presumed to +ask: I dared not to wish to correspond with her. I rejoice, for her +sake, that I trusted not my heart with such a proposal. What +difficulties, my dear friend, have I had to encounter with!--God be +praised, that I have nothing, with regard to these two incomparable +women, to reproach myself with. I am persuaded that our prudence, if +rashly we throw not ourselves into difficulties, and if we will exert it, +and make a reliance on the proper assistance, is generally proportioned +to our trials. + +I asked the marchioness after Lady Sforza, and her daughter Laurana; and +whether they were at Milan? + +You have heard, no doubt, answered she, the cruel treatment that my poor +child met with from her cousin Laurana. Lady Sforza justifies her in it. +We are upon extreme bad terms, on that account. They are both at Milan. +The general has vowed, that he never will see them more, if he can avoid +it. The bishop, only as a Christian, can forgive them. You, chevalier, +know the reason why we cannot allow our Clementina to take the veil. + +The particular reasons I have not, madam, been inquisitive about; but +have always understood them to be family ones, grounded on the dying +request of one of her grandfathers. + +Our daughter, sir, is entitled to a considerable estate which joins to +our own domains. It was purchased for her by her two grandfathers; who +vied with each other in demonstrating their love of her by solid effects. +One of them (my father) was, in his youth, deeply in love with a young +lady of great merit; and she was thought to love him: but, in a fit of +pious bravery, as he used to call it, when everything between themselves, +and between the friends on both sides, was concluded on, she threw +herself into a convent; and, passing steadily through the probationary +forms, took the veil; but afterwards repented, and took pains to let it +be known that she was unhappy. This gave him a disgust against the +sequestered life, though he was, in other respects, a zealous Catholic. +And Clementina having always a serious turn; in order to deter her from +embracing it, (both grandfathers being desirous of strengthening their +house, as well in the female as male line,) they inserted a clause in +each of their wills, by which they gave the estate designed for her, in +case she took the veil, to Laurana, and her descendants; Laurana to enter +into possession of it on the day that Clementina should be professed. +But if Clementina married, Laurana was then to be entitled only to a +handsome legacy, that she might not be entirely disappointed: for the +reversion, in case Clementina had no children, was to go to our eldest +son; who, however, has been always generously solicitous to have his +sister marry. + +Both grandfathers were rich. Our son Giacomo, on my father's death, as +he had willed, entered upon a considerable estate in the kingdom of +Naples, which had for ages been in my family: he is therefore, and will +be, greatly provided for. Our second son has great prospects before him, +in the church: but you know he cannot marry. Poor Jeronymo! We had not, +before his misfortune, any great hopes of strengthening the family by his +means: he, alas! (as you well know, who took such laudable pains to +reclaim him, before we knew you,) with great qualities, imbibed free +notions from bad company, and declared himself a despiser of marriage. +This the two grandfathers knew, and often deplored; for Jeronymo and +Clementina were equally their favourites. To him and the bishop they +bequeathed great legacies. + +We suspected not, till very lately, that Laurana was deeply in love with +the Count of Belvedere; and that her mother and she had views to drive +our sweet child into a convent, that Laurana might enjoy the estate; +which they hoped would be an inducement to the count to marry her. Cruel +Laurana! Cruel Lady Sforza! So much love as they both pretended to our +child; and, I believe, had, till the temptation, strengthened by power, +became too strong for them. Unhappy the day that we put her into their +hands. + +Besides the estate so bequeathed to Clementina, we can do great things +for her: few Italian families are so rich as ours. Her brothers forget +their own interest, when it comes into competition with hers: she is as +generous as they. Our four children never knew what a contention was, +but who should give up an advantage to the other. This child, this sweet +child, was ever the delight of us all, and likewise of our brother the +Conte della Porretta. What joy would her recovery and nuptials give us! +--Dear creature! we have sometimes thought, that she is the fonder of the +sequestered life, as it is that which we wish her not to embrace.--But +can Clementina be perverse? She cannot. Yet that was the life of her +choice, when she had a choice, her grandfathers' wishes notwithstanding. + +Will you now wonder, chevalier, that neither our sons nor we can allow +Clementina to take the veil? Can we so reward Laurana for her cruelty? +Especially now, that we suspect the motives for her barbarity? Could I +have thought that my sister Sforza--But what will not love and avarice +do, their powers united to compass the same end; the one reigning in the +bosom of the mother, the other in that of the daughter? Alas! alas! they +have, between them, broken the spirit of my Clementina. The very name of +Laurana gives her terror--So far is she sensible. But, O sir, her +sensibility appears only when she is harshly treated! To tenderness she +had been too much accustomed, to make her think an indulgent treatment +new, or unusual. + +I dread, my dear Dr. Bartlett, yet am impatient, to see the unhappy lady. +I wish the general were not to accompany her. I am afraid I shall want +temper, if he forget his. My own heart, when it tells me, that I have +not deserved ill usage, (from my equals and superiors in rank, +especially,) bids me not bear it. I am ashamed to own to you, my +reverend friend, that pride of spirit, which, knowing it to be my fault, +I ought long ago to have subdued. + +Make my compliments to every one I love. Mr. and Mrs. Reeves are of the +number. + +Charlotte, I hope, is happy. If she is not, it must be her own fault. +Let her know, that I will not allow, when my love to both sisters is +equal, that she shall give me cause to say that Lady L---- is my best +sister. + +Lady Olivia gives me uneasiness. I am ashamed, my dear Dr. Bartlett, +that a woman of a rank so considerable, and who has some great qualities, +should lay herself under obligation to the compassion of a man who can +only pity her. When a woman gets over that delicacy, which is the test +or bulwark, as I may say, of modesty--Modesty itself may soon lie at the +mercy of an enemy. + +Tell my Emily, that she is never out of my mind; and that, among the +other excellent examples she has before her, Miss Byron's must never be +out of hers. + +Lord L---- and Lord G---- are in full possession of my brotherly love. + +I shall not at present write to my Beauchamp. In writing to you, I write +to him. + +You know all my heart. If in this, or my future letters, any thing +should fall from my pen, that would possibly in your opinion affect or +give uneasiness to any one I love and honour, were it to be communicated; +I depend upon your known and unquestionable discretion to keep it to +yourself. + +I shall be glad you will enable yourself to inform me of the way Sir +Hargrave and his friends are in. They were very ill at Paris; and, it +was thought, too weak, and too much bruised, to be soon carried over to +England. Men! Englishmen! thus to disgrace themselves, and their +country!--I am concerned for them! + +I expect large packets by the next mails from my friends. England, which +was always dear to me, never was half so dear as now, to + +Your ever-affectionate +GRANDISON. + + +END OF VOLUME 4 + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13884 *** diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..bb3ba06 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #13884 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13884) diff --git a/old/13884-8.txt b/old/13884-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9a225a9 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13884-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,12498 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The History of Sir Charles Grandison, Volume +4 (of 7), by Samuel Richardson + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The History of Sir Charles Grandison, Volume 4 (of 7) + +Author: Samuel Richardson + +Release Date: October 27, 2004 [eBook #13884] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HISTORY OF SIR CHARLES +GRANDISON, VOLUME 4 (OF 7)*** + + +E-text prepared by Julie C. Sparks + + + +THE HISTORY OF SIR CHARLES GRANDISON, VOLUME IV + +by + +SAMUEL RICHARDSON + + + + + + + +CONTENTS OF VOLUME IV + + +LETTER I. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +A tenth letter from Dr. Bartlett: Description of a formal visit Sir +Charles Grandison paid to the whole of the Porretta family assembled: +their different characters clearly displayed on this occasion; and the +affectionate parting of Sir Charles and his friend Jeronymo. + +LETTER II. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +An eleventh letter from Dr. Bartlett: Signor Jeronymo writes to Sir +Charles Grandison an account of what farther passed in conversation +between the family after his departure. + +LETTER III. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Dr. Bartlett's twelfth letter: Sir Charles Grandison takes leave of his +friends at Bologna, and is setting out for Florence; when he receives +a friendly letter from Signor Jeronymo, by which he learns that +Clementina had earnestly entreated her father to permit her to see him +once again before his departure; but that she had met with an absolute +refusal: Jeronymo also describes the ill-treatment of his sister by her +aunt, and her resignation under her trials. Sir Charles arrives at +Naples, and there visits Clementina's brother, the general: account of +his reception, and of the conversation that passed between them. + +LETTER IV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Dr. Bartlett's thirteenth letter; containing an account of Sir Charles +Grandison's final departure from Italy; and various matters relative to +the Porretta family; the persecutions Clementina endured from her +relations; and a letter Sir Charles Grandison received from Mrs. +Beaumont.--Dr. Bartlett concludes with an apostrophe on the brevity of +all human affairs. + +LETTER V. Miss Harriet Byron to Miss Lucy Selby.-- +Explanation of the causes of Sir Charles Grandison's uneasiness, +occasioned by intelligence lately brought him from abroad. Miss Byron +wishes that Sir Charles was proud and vain, that she might with the more +ease cast of her acknowledged shackles. She enumerates the engagements +that engross the time of Sir Charles; and mentions her tender regard +toward the two sons of Mrs. Oldham, the penitent mistress of his father +Sir Thomas. A visit from the Earl of G----, and his sister Lady +Gertrude. + +LETTER VI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles Grandison dines with Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and his gay +friends; his reflections on the riots and excesses frequently committed +at the jovial meetings of gay and thoughtless young men. Sir Charles +negociates a treaty of marriage for Lord W----; and resolves to attempt +the restoring of the oppressed Mansfield-family to their rights. + +LETTER VII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Farther traits in the character of Sir Charles Grandison. + +LETTER VIII. Sir Charles Grandison to Dr. Bartlett.-- +Sir Charles describes the interview he had with Sir Harry Beauchamp and +his lady; and how he appeased the anger of the imperious lady. His +farther proceedings in favour of the Mansfields. + +LETTER IX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +A visit from the Countess of D----, and the earl her son. Account of the +young earl's person and deportment. Miss Byron confesses to the +countess, that her heart is already a wedded heart, and that she cannot +enter into a second engagement. Reflections on young men being sent by +their parents to travel to foreign countries. + +LETTER X. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Various self-debatings and recriminations that passed through the young +lady's mind on the expectation of breakfasting with Sir Charles +Grandison. + +LETTER XI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles Grandison communicates to Miss Byron the farther distressing +intelligence he had received from Bologna:--His friend Signor Jeronymo +dangerously ill, his sister Clementina declining in health, and their +father and mother absorbed in melancholy. The communication comes from +the bishop of Nocera, Clementina's second brother; who entreats Sir +Charles to make one more visit to Bologna. Farther affecting information +from Mrs. Beaumont respecting Lady Clementina's cruel treatment at the +palace of Milan, and her removal from thence to Naples. Sir Charles +resolves on going to Bologna. Miss Byron's dignified and generous +conduct on the occasion. + +LETTER XII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Informs her of the generosity and kind condescension of Sir Charles to +Mrs. Oldham and her family, as related by Miss Grandison: their +difference of opinion on that subject. + +LETTER XIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +An early visit from Miss Jervois, who communicates with much pleasure +the particulars of a late interview she had with her mother: relates a +conversation that passed between her guardian, Mrs. O'Hara, and Captain +Salmonet: describes the affectionate behaviour of Sir Charles to her, on +introducing her to her mother; and his kind instructions concerning her +deportment on the occasion. + +LETTER XIV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles solicits his sister to fix the day for her marriage before he +leaves England. Visit from Lord G----, the Earl, and Lady Gertrude. +Miss Grandison unusually thoughtful all the time of dinner. The Earl of +G---- and Lady Gertrude request a conference with Sir Charles after +dinner. Purport of it. Miss Grandison's reluctance to so early a day as +her brother names, but at length accedes to his powerful entreaties; +though wholly unprepared, she says. + +LETTER XV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Serious conversation between Miss Byron and Miss Grandison concerning the +approaching marriage. The latter expresses her indifference for Lord +G----; compares his character with that of her brother; entreats Miss +Byron to breakfast with her the next day, and to remain with her till the +event takes place. + +LETTER XVI. Miss Grandison to Miss Byron.-- +Ludicrous description of three marriages given by Miss Grandison, with +the anticipation of her own. + +LETTER XVII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Great preparations for Miss Grandison's marriage: her generous offer to +Miss Byron of her share of her mother's jewels, who refuses to accept of +them, and gives her opinion as to their disposal. Miss Grandison is +pleased with the hint, and acts accordingly. Account of Dr. Bartlett's +interesting conversation with Miss Byron on the subject of Sir Charles +going to Italy, and his attachment to Miss Byron. The young lady's +emotions: her alternate hopes and fears: she resolves on relinquishing +Sir Charles in favour of Lady Clementina. + +LETTER XVIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Debate concerning the place where the marriage ceremony is to be +performed. Conversation between Miss Byron and Miss Grandison +interrupted by Lady Gertrude. Miss Byron expresses much concern for Lord +G----, from Miss Grandison's present conduct to him; but is inclined to +hope that an alteration may be effected. + +LETTER XIX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Account of Sir Charles's return from Windsor: his joy on restoring the +worthy family of the Mansfields from oppression: his interview with his +friend Beauchamp, at Sir Harry's; and cheerful behaviour at his sister's +wedding, though his own heart is torn with uncertainty. Farther proofs +of his esteem for Miss Byron. + +LETTER XX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles briefly lays before his sister the duties of a married life: +some remarks on her behaviour. Lord W----'s generosity to his nieces o +Lady G----'s marriage. Painful reflections on the departure of Sir +Charles. Opinions of the proper age for the marrying of women. + +LETTER XXI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Conversation with Dr. Bartlett. Artless remarks of Miss Jervois, and her +censures on the conduct of Lady G---- to her lord. Mr. Galliard proposes +an alliance for Sir Charles. Contrast between Lady G---- and Lady L---- +in disposing of their uncle's present. Miss Byron's perturbed state of +mind: the cause of it. Her noble resolution in favour of Lady +Clementina. + +LETTER XXII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Conference between Lord W---- and Sir Charles on the management of +servants: their conduct frequently influenced by example. Remarks on +the helpless state of single women. Plan proposed for erecting +Protestant Nunneries in England, and places of refuge for penitent +females. + +LETTER XXIII. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Invitation to dinner. Account of a matrimonial altercation, and of the +arrival of Lady Olivia. + +LETTER XXIV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Encloses Lady G----'s letter, and describes her concern for Lord G----. + +LETTER XXV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Lady Olivia is introduced to Miss Byron. Some traits in that lady's +character related by Dr. Bartlett. She declares her passion for Sir +Charles to Lady L----. She endeavours to prevail on him to defer his +voyage, and is indignant at meeting with a refusal. Miss Byron's exalted +behaviour. + +LETTER XXVI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Conversation with Sir Charles regarding Lord and Lady G----. His anxiety +for their happiness; but hopes much from Miss Byron's influence over her +sister. + +LETTER XXVII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles departs unexpectedly, from the kindest motives. The concern +and solicitude of his friends. Miss Byron's mind much agitated. The +eldest of Mrs. Oldham's sons presented with a pair of colours by Sir +Charles. + +LETTER XXVIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Account of Lady Olivia's behaviour. Her horrid attempt to stab Sir +Charles. Miss Byron describes the state of her own mind, and resolves +to return to Northamptonshire. + +LETTER XXIX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Particulars of a very interesting conversation with Mrs. Reeves and Lady +D----. Miss Byron's ingenuous reply to Lady D----'s interrogation. Her +explanation of some of Sir Charles's expressions in the library. +Conference which had formerly embarrassed her. + +LETTER XXX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Preparations for her journey into Northamptonshire. Regrets at parting +with friends. Lady Olivia is desirous of visiting Miss Byron. Remarks +on politeness. Unpleasant consequences sometimes resulting from it. +Remarks on the conduct of Sir Charles. + +LETTER XXXI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Lady G---- quarrels with her lord, who entreat Miss Byron's assistance in +effecting a reconciliation. That lady's kind advice and opinion. Lady +G---- resumes her good humour; but will not acknowledge herself to have +been in the wrong. + +LETTER XXXII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Relates what passed on a visit of Lady Olivia. Miss Byron pities the +impetuosity of her temper, and admires her many amiable qualities. Pays +another visit to Lady G----; and gives an account of the reconciliation +between her and her husband. + +LETTER XXXIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Mr. Fowler brings a letter from Sir Rowland Meredith, most affectionately +soliciting the hand of Miss Byron in favour of his nephew. + +LETTER XXXIV. Miss Byron to Sir Rowland Meredith.-- +She regards Sir Rowland as her father; avows her affection for Sir +Charles, notwithstanding his engagements with another lady, and disclaims +the generous intentions of Sir Rowland in her favour, in his will. + +LETTER XXXV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Arrangements for her journey. Thoughts on public amusements. +Retrospect. Tender parting with Dr. Bartlett. + +LETTER XXXVI. Miss Byron to Lady G----.-- +Description of her journey: account of those friends, who accompanied her +to Dunstable; and of those who met her there, from Northamptonshire; of +Mr. Grenville and Mr. Fenwick's collation for her at Stratford; of Mr. +Orme again saluting her by the highway-side, as the coach passed his +park-wall; and of her kind reception at Selby-house. + +LETTER XXXVII. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +The opinions of the Dunstable party respecting Miss Byron. Charms of the +mind superior to those of person. Lady G----'s opinion of Miss Byron's +aunt Selby, and of her cousins Lucy and Nancy; thinks her uncle's wit too +much studied; defends her own character, and the attack made by herself +and sister on Miss Byron at Colnebrooke. Lord G---- proposes parting +with his collection of moths and shells: gives the latter to Miss +Jervois, at his lady's request, and presents Lady G---- with a set of old +Japan china. + +LETTER XXXVIII. Miss Jervois to Miss Byron.-- +Her regret at parting with Miss Byron at Stratford: encomiums on her +guardian and Mr. Beauchamp: censures the conduct of Lady G---- to her +lord. Instance of her dutiful behaviour to her mother, on accidentally +meeting with her. + +LETTER XXXIX. Miss Byron to Lady G----.-- +Reproves Lady G---- for her levity. Does not find the society of her +country friends relieve the anxiety of her mind: laments the absence of +those she has just left: is visited by Mr. Fenwick, Mr. Grenville, and +Mr. Orme. Mr. Grenville's rudeness, and her own magnanimity. Hears of +Sir Hargrave Pollexfen's return. + +LETTER XL. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Ideas of female delicacy. Report of Sir Hargrave's return confirmed. +Sir Charles meets with an adventure on the road to Paris. Delivers Sir +Hargrave and Mr. Merceda from the chastisement of an enraged husband. +Sir Charles's firmness and temper on the occasion. + +LETTER XLI. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Reflections on the amusements of London. Her love of contradiction. She +pins her apron to Lord G----'s coat, and blames him for it. He wishes +her to be presented at court. Quarrel on the occasion. + +LETTER XLII. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Favourable issue expected of the law-suit between the Mansfields and the +Keelings. Mr. Everard Grandison ruined by gamesters, and threatened with +a prosecution for a breach of promise of marriage. The arrival of her +aunt Eleanor. Sir Hargrave and Mr. Merceda in a dangerous state. Mr. +Bagenhall obliged to marry the manufacturer's daughter of Abbeville, whom +he had seduced. Miss Clements comes into a fortune by the death of her +mother and aunt. + +LETTER XLIII. Mr. Lowther to John Arnold, Esq.-- +Quits Paris with Sir Charles, and arrives at St. Jean Maurienne. +Description of the country. Mr. Lowther is detained by indisposition. +Sir Charles and he proceed on their journey. Account of the manner of +crossing the mountains. They arrive at Parma. Their reception by the +bishop of Nocera and Father Marescotti. + +LETTER XLIV. Sir Charles Grandison to Dr. Bartlett.-- +The bishop of Nocera's melancholy account of the health of his brother +and sister. The Count of Belvedere acquaints Sir Charles with his +unabated passion for Lady Clementina. Affecting interview between Sir +Charles and Signor Jeronymo. He is kindly received by the marquis and +marchioness. The sufferings of Jeronymo under the hands of an unskilful +surgeon, with a brief history of his case. Sir Charles tells the +marchioness that he considers himself bound by his former offers, should +Clementina recover. The interested motives of Lady Sforza and Laurana +for treating Clementina with cruelty. Remarks on Lady Olivia's conduct, +and on female delicacy. Sir Charles recommends Miss Byron as a pattern +for his ward, and laments the depravity of Sir Hargrave and his friends. + + + + + +LETTER I + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +Miss Byron, To Miss Selby. + +O my Lucy! What think you!--But it is easy to guess what you must think. +I will, without saying one word more, enclose + + +DR. BARTLETT'S TENTH LETTER + +The next day (proceeds my patron) I went to make my visit to the family. +I had nothing to reproach myself with; and therefore had no other concern +upon me but what arose from the unhappiness of the noble Clementina: that +indeed was enough. I thought I should have some difficulty to manage my +own spirit, if I were to find myself insulted, especially by the general. +Soldiers are so apt to value themselves on their knowledge of what, after +all, one may call but their trade, that a private gentleman is often +thought too slightly of by them. Insolence in a great man, a rich man, +or a soldier, is a call upon a man of spirit to exert himself. But I +hope, thought I, I shall not have this call from any one of a family I so +greatly respect. + +I was received by the bishop; who politely, after I had paid my +compliments to the marquis and his lady, presented me to those of the +Urbino family to whom I was a stranger. Every one of those named by +Signor Jeronymo, in his last letter, was present. + +The marquis, after he had returned my compliment, looked another way, to +hide his emotion: the marchioness put her handkerchief to her eyes, and +looked upon me with tenderness; and I read in them her concern for her +Clementina. + +I paid my respects to the general with an air of freedom, yet of regard; +to my Jeronymo, with the tenderness due to our friendship, and +congratulated him on seeing him out of his chamber. His kind eyes +glistened with pleasure; yet it was easy to read a mixture of pain in +them; which grew stronger as the first emotions at seeing me enter, gave +way to reflection. + +The Conte della Porretta seemed to measure me with his eye. + +I addressed myself to Father Marescotti, and made my particular +acknowledgments to him for the favour of his visit, and what had passed +in it. He looked upon me with pleasure; probably with the more, as this +was a farewell visit. + +The two ladies whispered, and looked upon me, and seemed to bespeak each +other's attention to what passed. + +Signor Sebastiano placed himself next to Jeronymo, and often whispered +him, and as often cast his eye upon me. He was partial to me, I believe, +because my generous friend seemed pleased with what he said. + +His brother, Signor Juliano, sat on the other hand of me. They are +agreeable and polite young gentlemen. + +A profound silence succeeded the general compliments. + +I addressed myself to the marquis: Your lordship, and you, madam, turning +to the marchioness, I hope will excuse me for having requested of you the +honour of being once more admitted to your presence, and to that of three +brothers, for whom I shall ever retain the most respectful affection. I +could not think of leaving a city, where one of the first families in it +has done me the highest honour, without taking such a leave as might shew +my gratitude.--Accept, my lords, bowing to each; accept, madam, more +profoundly bowing to the marchioness, my respectful thanks for all your +goodness to me. I shall, to the end of my life, number most of the days +that I have passed at Bologna among its happiest, even were the remainder +to be as happy as man ever knew. + +The marquis said, We wish you, chevalier, very happy; happier than--He +sighed, and was silent. + +His lady only bowed. Her face spoke distress. Her voice was lost in +sighs, though she struggled to suppress them. + +Chevalier, said the bishop, with an air of solemnity, you have given us +many happy hours: for them we thank you. Jeronymo, for himself, will say +more: he is the most grateful of men. We thank you also for what you +have done for him. + +I cannot, said Jeronymo, express suitably my gratitude: my prayers, my +vows, shall follow you whithersoever you go, best of friends, and best of +men! + +The general, with an air and a smile that might have been dispensed with, +oddly said, High pleasure and high pain are very near neighbours: they +are often guilty of excesses, and then are apt to mistake each other's +house. I am one of those who think our whole house obliged to the +chevalier for the seasonable assistance he gave to our Jeronymo. But-- + +Dear general, said Lady Juliana, bear with an interruption: the intent of +this meeting is amicable. The chevalier is a man of honour. Things may +have fallen out unhappily; yet nobody to blame. + +As to blame, or otherwise, said the Conte della Porretta, that is not now +to be talked of; else, I know where it lies: in short, among ourselves. +The chevalier acted greatly by Signor Jeronymo: we were all obliged to +him: but to let such a man as this have free admission to our daughter-- +She ought to have had no eyes. + +Pray, my lord, pray, brother, said the marquis, are we not enough +sufferers? + +The chevalier, said the general, cannot but be gratified by so high a +compliment; and smiled indignantly. + +My lord, replied I to the general, you know very little of the man before +you, if you don't believe him to be the most afflicted man present. + +Impossible! said the marquis, with a sigh. + +The marchioness arose from her seat, motioning to go; and turning round +to the two ladies, and the count, I have resigned my will to the will of +you all, my dearest friends, and shall be permitted to withdraw. This +testimony, however, before I go, I cannot but bear: Wherever the fault +lay, it lay not with the chevalier. He has, from the first to the last, +acted with the nicest honour. He is entitled to our respect. The +unhappiness lies nowhere but in the difference of religion. + +Well, and that now is absolutely out of the question, said the general: +it is indeed, chevalier. + +I hope, my lord, from a descendant of a family so illustrious, to find an +equal exemption from wounding words, and wounding looks; and that, sir, +as well from your generosity, as from your justice. + +My looks give you offence, chevalier!--Do they? + +I attended to the marchioness. She came towards me. I arose, and +respectfully took her hand.--Chevalier, said she, I could not withdraw +without bearing the testimony I have borne to your merits. I wish you +happy.--God protect you, whithersoever you go. Adieu. + +She wept. I bowed on her hand with profound respect. She retired with +precipitation. It was with difficulty that I suppressed the rising tear. +I took my seat. + +I made no answer to the general's last question, though it was spoken in +such a way (I saw by their eyes) as took every other person's notice. + +Lady Sforza, when her sister was retired, hinted, that the last interview +between the young lady and me was an unadvised permission, though +intended for the best. + +I then took upon me to defend that step. Lady Clementina, said I, had +declared, that if she were allowed to speak her whole mind to me, she +should be easy. I had for some time given myself up to absolute despair. +The marchioness intended not favour to me in allowing of the interview: +it was the most affecting one to me I had ever known. But let me say, +that, far from having bad effects on the young lady's mind, it had good +ones. I hardly knew how to talk upon a subject so very interesting to +every one present, but not more so to any one than to myself. I thought +of avoiding it; and have been led into it, but did not lead. And since +it is before us, let me recommend, as the most effectual way to restore +every one to peace and happiness, gentle treatment. The most generous of +human minds, the most meek, the most dutiful, requires not harsh +methods. + +How do you know, sir, said the general, and looked at Jeronymo, the +methods now taken-- + +And are they then harsh, my lord? said I. + +He was offended. + +I had heard, proceeded I, that a change of measures was resolved on. I +knew that the treatment before had been all gentle, condescending, +indulgent. I received but yesterday letters from my father, signifying +his intention of speedily recalling me to my native country. I shall set +out very soon for Paris, where I hope to meet with his more direct +commands for this long-desired end. What may be my destiny, I know not; +but I shall carry with me a heart burdened with the woes of this family, +and distressed for the beloved daughter of it. But let me bespeak you +all, for your own sakes, (mine is out of the question: I presume not upon +any hope on my own account,) that you will treat this angelic-minded lady +with tenderness. I pretend to say, that I know that harsh or severe +methods will not do. + +The general arose from his seat, and, with a countenance of fervor, next +to fierceness--Let me tell you, Grandison, said he-- + +I arose from mine, and going to Lady Sforza, who sat next him, he stopt, +supposing me going to him, and seemed surprised, and attentive to my +motions: but, disregarding him, I addressed myself to that lady. You, +madam, are the aunt of Lady Clementina: the tender, the indulgent mother +is absent, and has declared, that she resigns her will to the will of her +friends present--Allow me to supplicate, that former measures may not be +changed with her. Great dawnings of returning reason did I discover in +our last interview. Her delicacy (never was there a more delicate mind) +wanted but to be satisfied. It was satisfied, and she began to be easy. +Were her mind but once composed, the sense she has of her duty, and what +she owes to her religion, would restore her to your wishes: but if she +should be treated harshly, (though I am sure, if she should, it would be +with the best intention,) Clementina will be lost. + +The general sat down. They all looked upon one another. The two ladies +dried their eyes. The starting tear would accompany my fervor. And then +stepping to Jeronymo, who was extremely affected; My dear Jeronymo, said +I, my friend, my beloved friend, cherish in your noble heart the memory +of your Grandison: would to God I could attend you to England! We have +baths there of sovereign efficacy. The balm of a friendly and grateful +heart would promote the cure. I have urged it before. Consider of it. + +My Grandison, my dear Grandison, my friend, my preserver! You are not +going!-- + +I am, my Jeronymo, and embraced him. Love me in absence, as I shall you. + +Chevalier, said the bishop, you don't go? We hope for your company at a +small collation.--We must not part with you yet. + +I cannot, my lord, accept the favour. Although I had given myself up to +despair of obtaining the happiness to which I once aspired; yet I was not +willing to quit a city that this family had made dear to me, with the +precipitation of a man conscious of misbehaviour. I thank you for the +permission I had to attend you all in full assembly. May God prosper +you, my lord; and may you be invested with the first honours of that +church which must be adorned by so worthy a heart! It will be my glory, +when I am in my native place, or wherever I am, to remember that I was +once thought not unworthy of a rank in a family so respectable. Let me, +my lord, be entitled to your kind remembrance. + +He pulled out his handkerchief. My lord, said he, to his father; my +Lord, to the general; Grandison must not go!--and sat down with emotion. + +Lady Sforza wept: Laurana seemed moved: the two young lords, Sebastiano +and Juliano, were greatly affected. + +I then addressed myself to the marquis, who sat undetermined, as to +speech: My venerable lord, forgive me, that my address was not first paid +here. My heart overflows with gratitude for your goodness in permitting +me to throw myself at your feet, before I took a last farewell of a city +favoured with your residence. Best of fathers, of friends, of men, let +me entreat the continuance of your paternal indulgence to the child +nearest, and deserving to be nearest, to your heart. She is all you and +her mother. Restore her to yourself, and to her, by your indulgence: +that alone, and a blessing on your prayers, can restore her. Adieu, my +good lord: repeated thanks for all your hospitable goodness to a man that +will ever retain a grateful sense of your favour. + +You will not yet go, was all he said--he seemed in agitation. He could +not say more. + +I then, turning to the count his brother, who sat next him, said, I have +not the honour to be fully known to your lordship: some prejudices from +differences in opinion may have been conceived: but if you ever hear +anything of the man before you unworthy of his name, and of the favour +once designed him; then, my lord, blame, as well as wonder at, the +condescension of your noble brother and sister in my favour. + +Who, I! Who, I! said that lord, in some hurry.--I think very well of +you. I never saw a man, in my life, that I liked so well! + +Your lordship does me honour. I say this the rather, as I may, on this +solemn occasion, taking leave of such honourable friends, charge my +future life with resolutions to behave worthy of the favour I have met +with in this family. + +I passed from him to the general--Forgive, my lord, said I, the seeming +formality of my behaviour in this parting scene: it is a very solemn one +to me. You have expressed yourself of me, and to me, my lord, with more +passion, (forgive me, I mean not to offend you,) than perhaps you will +approve in yourself when I am far removed from Italy. For have you not a +noble mind? And are you not a son of the Marquis della Porretta? Permit +me to observe, that passion will make a man exalt himself, and degrade +another; and the just medium will be then forgot. I am afraid I have +been thought more lightly of, than I ought to be, either in justice, or +for the honour of a person who is dear to every one present. My country +was once mentioned with disdain: think not my vanity so much concerned in +what I am going to say, as my honour: I am proud to be thought an +Englishman: yet I think as highly of every worthy man of every nation +under the sun, as I do of the worthy men of my own. I am not of a +contemptible race in my own country. My father lives in it with the +magnificence of a prince. He loves his son; yet I presume to add, that +that son deems his good name his riches; his integrity his grandeur. +Princes, though they are entitled by their rank to respect, are princes +to him only as they act. + +A few words more, my lord. + +I have been of the hearing, not of the speaking side of the question, in +the two last conferences I had the honour to hold with your lordship. +Once you unkindly mentioned the word triumph. The word at the time went +to my heart. When I can subdue the natural warmth of my temper, then, +and then only, I have a triumph. I should not have remembered this, had +I not now, my lord, on this solemn occasion, been received by you with an +indignant eye. I respect your lordship too much not to take notice of +this angry reception. My silence upon it, perhaps, would look like +subscribing before this illustrious company to the justice of your +contempt: yet I mean no other notice than this; and this to demonstrate +that I was not, in my own opinion at least, absolutely unworthy of the +favour I met with from the father, the mother, the brothers, you so +justly honour, and which I wished to stand in with you. + +And now, my lord, allow me the honour of your hand; and, as I have given +you no cause for displeasure, say, that you will remember me with +kindness, as I shall honour you and your whole family to the last day of +my life. + +The general heard me out; but it was with great emotion. He accepted not +my hand; he returned not any answer: the bishop arose, and, taking him +aside, endeavoured to calm him. + +I addressed myself to the two young lords, and said, that if ever their +curiosity led them to visit England, where I hoped to be in a few months, +I should be extremely glad of cultivating their esteem and favour, by the +best offices I could do them. + +They received my civility with politeness. + +I addressed myself next to Lady Laurana--May you, madam, the friend, the +intimate, the chosen companion of Lady Clementina, never know the +hundredth part of the woe that fills the breast of the man before you, +for the calamity that has befallen your admirable cousin, and, because of +that, a whole excellent family. Let me recommend to you, that tender and +soothing treatment to her, which her tender heart would shew to you, in +any calamity that should befall you. I am not a bad man, madam, though +of a different communion from yours. Think but half so charitably of me, +as I do of every one of your religion who lives up to his professions, +and I shall be happy in your favourable thoughts when you hear me spoken +of. + +It is easy to imagine, Dr. Bartlett, that I addressed myself in this +manner to this lady whom I had never before seen, that she might not +think the harder of her cousin's prepossessions in favour of a +Protestant. + +I recommended myself to the favour of Father Marescotti. He assured me +of his esteem, in very warm terms. + +And just as I was again applying to my Jeronymo, the general came to me: +You cannot think, sir, said he, nor did you design it, I suppose, that I +should be pleased with your address to me. I have only this question to +ask, When do you quit Bologna? + +Let me ask your lordship, said I, when do you return to Naples? + +Why that question, sir? haughtily. + +I will answer you frankly. Your lordship, at the first of my +acquaintance with you, invited me to Naples. I promised to pay my +respects to you there. If you think of being there in a week, I will +attend you at your own palace in that city; and there, my lord, I hope, +no cause to the contrary having arisen from me, to be received by you +with the same kindness and favour that you shewed when you gave me the +invitation. I think to leave Bologna to-morrow. + +O brother! said the bishop, are you not now overcome? + +And are you in earnest? said the general. + +I am, my lord. I have many valuable friends, at different courts and +cities in Italy, to take leave of. I never intend to see it again. I +would look upon your lordship as one of those friends; but you seem still +displeased with me. You accepted not my offered hand before; once more I +tender it. A man of spirit cannot be offended at a man of spirit, +without lessening himself. I call upon your dignity, my lord. + +He held out his hand, just as I was withdrawing mine. I have pride, you +know, Dr. Bartlett; and I was conscious of a superiority in this +instance: I took his hand, however, at his offer; yet pitied him, that +his motion was made at all, as it wanted that grace which generally +accompanies all he does and says. + +The bishop embraced me.--Your moderation, thus exerted, said he, must +ever make you triumph. O Grandison! you are a prince of the Almighty's +creation. + +The noble Jeronymo dried his eyes, and held out his arms to embrace me. + +The general said, I shall certainly be at Naples in a week. I am too +much affected by the woes of my family, to behave as perhaps I ought on +this occasion. Indeed, Grandison, it is difficult for sufferers to act +with spirit and temper at the same time. + +It is, my lord; I have found it so. My hopes raised, as once they were, +now sunk, and absolute despair having taken place of them--Would to God I +had never returned to Italy!--But I reproach not any body. + +Yet, said Jeronymo, you have some reason--To be sent for as you were-- + +He was going on--Pray, brother, said the general--And turning to me, I +may expect you, sir, at Naples? + +You may, my lord. But one favour I have to beg of you mean time. It is, +that you will not treat harshly your dear Clementina. Would to Heaven I +might have had the honour to say, my Clementina! And permit me to make +one other request on my own account: and that is, that you will tell her, +that I took my leave of your whole family, by their kind permission; and +that, at my departure, I wished her, from my soul, all the happiness that +the best and tenderest of her friends can wish her! I make this request +to you, my lord, rather than to Signor Jeronymo, because the tenderness +which he has for me might induce him to mention me to her in a manner +which might, at this time, affect her too sensibly for her peace. + +Be pleased, my dear Signor Jeronymo, to make my devotion known to the +marchioness. Would to Heaven--But adieu! and once more adieu, my +Jeronymo. I shall hear from you when I get to Naples, if not before.-- +God restore your sister, and heal you! + +I bowed to the marquis, to the ladies, to the general, to the bishop, +particularly; to the rest in general; and was obliged, in order to +conceal my emotion, to hurry out at the door. The servants had planted +themselves in a row; not for selfish motives, as in England: they bowed +to the ground, and blessed me, as I went through them. I had ready a +purse of ducats. One hand and another declined it: I dropt it in their +sight. God be with you, my honest friends! said I; and departed--O, Dr. +Bartlett, with a heart how much distressed! + + +And now, my good Miss Byron, Have I not reason, from the deep concern +which you take in the woes of Lady Clementina, to regret the task you +have put me upon? And do you, my good Lord and Lady L----, and Miss +Grandison, now wonder that your brother has not been forward to give you +the particulars of this melancholy tale? Yet you all say, I must +proceed. + + +See, Lucy, the greatness of this man's behaviour! What a presumption was +it in your Harriet, ever to aspire to call such a one hers! + + + +LETTER II + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +This Lady Olivia, Lucy, what can she pretend to--But I will not puzzle +myself about her--Yet she pretend to give disturbance to such a man! You +will find her mentioned in Dr. Bartlett's next letter; or she would not +have been named by me. + + +*** + + +DR. BARTLETT'S ELEVENTH LETTER + +Mr. Grandison, on his return to his lodgings, found there, in disguise, +Lady Olivia. He wanted not any new disturbance. But I will not mix the +stories. + +The next morning he received a letter from Signor Jeronymo. The +following is a translation of it: + + +*** + + +My dearest Grandison! + +How do you?--Ever amiable friend! What triumphs did your behaviour of +last night obtain for you! Not a soul here but admires you! + +Even Laurana declared, that, were you a Catholic, it would be a merit to +love you. Yet she reluctantly praised you, and once said, What, but +splendid sins, are the virtues of a heretic? + +Our two cousins, with the good-nature of youth, lamented that you could +not be ours in the way you wish. My father wept like a child, when you +were gone; and seemed to enjoy the praises given you by every one. The +count said, he never saw a nobler behaviour in man. Your free, your +manly, your polite air and address, and your calmness and intrepidity, +were applauded by every one. + +What joy did this give to your Jeronymo! I thought I wanted neither +crutches, helps, nor wheeled chair; and several times forgot that I ailed +any thing. + +I begin to love Father Marescotti. He was with the foremost in praising +you. + +The general owned, that he was resolved once to quarrel with you. But +will he, do you think, Jeronymo, said he, make me a visit at Naples? + +You may depend upon it, he will, answered I---- + +I will be there to receive him, replied he. + +They admired you particularly for your address to my sister, by the +general, rather than by me. And Lady Sforza said, it was a thousand +pities that you and Clementina could not be one. They applauded, all of +them, what they had not, any of them, the power to imitate, that +largeness of heart which makes you think so well, and speak so tenderly, +of those of communions different from your own. So much steadiness in +your own religion, yet so much prudence, in a man so young, they said, +was astonishing! No wonder that your character ran so high, in every +court you had visited. + +My mother came in soon after you had left us. She was equally surprised +and grieved to find you gone. She thought she was sure of your staying +supper; and, not satisfied with the slight leave she had taken, she had +been strengthening her mind to pass an hour in your company, in order to +take a more solemn one. + +My father asked her after her daughter. + +Poor soul! said she, she has heard that the chevalier was to be here, to +take leave of us. + +By whom? by whom? said my father. + +I cannot tell: but the poor creature is half-raving to be admitted among +us. She has dressed herself in one of her best suits; and I found her +sitting in a kind of form, expecting to be called down. Indeed, Lady +Sforza, the method we are in, does not do. So the chevalier said, +replied that lady. Well, let us change it, with all my heart. It is no +pleasure to treat the dear girl harshly--O sister! this is a most +extraordinary man! + +That moment in bolted Camilla--Lady Clementina is just at the door. I +could not prevail upon her-- + +We all looked upon one another. + +Three soft taps at the door, and a hem, let us know she was there. + +Let her come in, dear girl, let her come in, said the count: the +chevalier is not here. + +Laurana arose, and ran to the door, and led her in by the hand. + +Dear creature, how wild she looked!--Tears ran down my cheeks: I had not +seen her for two days before. O how earnestly did she look round her! +withdrawing her hand from her cousin, who would have led her to a chair, +and standing quite still. + +Come and sit by me, my sweet love, said her weeping mother.--She stept +towards her. + +Sit down, my dear girl. + +No: you beat me, remember. + +Who beat you, my dear?--Sure nobody would beat my child!--Who beat you, +Clementina? + +I don't know--Still looking round her, as wanting somebody. + +Again her mother courted her to sit down. + +No, madam, you don't love me. + +Indeed, my dear, I do. + +So you say. + +Her father held out his open arms to her. Tears ran down his cheeks. He +could not speak.--Ah, my father! said she, stepping towards him. + +He caught her in his arms--Don't, don't, sir, faintly struggling, with +averted face--You love me not--You refused to see your child, when she +wanted to claim your protection!--I was used cruelly. + +By whom, my dear? by whom? + +By every body. I complained to one, and to another; but all were in a +tone: and so I thought I would be contented. My mamma, too!--But it is +no matter. I saw it was to be so; and I did not care. + +By my soul, said I, this is not the way with her, Lady Sforza. The +chevalier is in the right. You see how sensible she is of harsh +treatment. + +Well, well, said the general, let us change our measures. + +Still the dear girl looked out earnestly, as for somebody. + +She loosed herself from the arms of her sorrowing father. + +Let us in silence, said the count, observe her motions. + +She went to him on tip-toe, and looking in his face over his shoulder, as +he sat with his back towards her, passed him; then to the general; then +to Signor Sebastiano; and to every one round, till she came to me; +looking at each over his shoulder in the same manner: then folding her +fingers, her hands open, and her arms hanging down to their full extent, +she held up her face meditating, with such a significant woe, that I +thought my heart would have burst.--Not a soul in the company had a dry +eye. + +Lady Sforza arose, took her two hands, the fingers still clasped, and +would have spoken to her, but could not; and hastily retired to her seat. + +Tears, at last, began to trickle down her cheeks, as she stood fixedly +looking up. She started, looked about her, and hastening to her mother, +threw her arms about her neck; and, hiding her face in her bosom, broke +out into a flood of tears, mingled with sobs that penetrated every heart. + +The first words she said, were, Love me, my mamma! Love your child! your +poor child! your Clementina! Then raising her head, and again laying it +in her mother's bosom--If ever you loved me, love me now, my mamma!--I +have need of your love! + +My father was forced to withdraw. He was led out by his two sons. + +Your poor Jeronymo was unable to help himself. He wanted as much comfort +as his father. What were the wounds of his body, at that time, to those +of his mind? + +My two brothers returned. This dear girl, said the bishop, will break +all our hearts. + +Her tears had seemed to relieve her. She held up her head. My mother's +bosom seemed wet with her child's tears and her own. Still she looked +round her. + +Suppose, said I, somebody were to name the man she seems to look for? It +may divert this wildness. + +Did she come down, said Laurana to Camilla, with the expectation of +seeing him? + +She did. + +Let me, said the bishop, speak to her. He arose, and, taking her hand, +walked with her about the room. You look pretty, my Clementina! Your +ornaments are charmingly fancied. What made you dress yourself so +prettily? + +She looked earnestly at him, in silence. He repeated his question--I +speak, said she, all my heart; and then I suffer for it. Every body is +against me. + +You shall not suffer for it: every body is for you. + +I confessed to Mrs. Beaumont; I confessed to you, brother: but what did I +get by it?--Let go my hand. I don't love you, I believe. + +I am sorry for it. I love you, Clementina, as I love my own soul! + +Yet you never chide your own soul! + +He turned his face from her to us. She must not be treated harshly, said +he. He soothed her in a truly brotherly manner. + +Tell me, added he to his soothings, Did you expect any body here, that +you find not? + +Did I? Yes, I did.--Camilla, come hither.--Let go my hand, brother. + +He did. She took Camilla under the arm--Don't you know, Camilla, said +she, what you heard said of somebody's threatening somebody?--Don't let +anybody hear us; drawing her to one end of the room.--I want to take a +walk with you into the garden, Camilla. + +It is dark night, madam. + +No matter. If you are afraid, I will go by myself. + +Seem to humour her in talk, Camilla, said the count; but don't go out of +the room with her. + +Be pleased to tell me, madam, what we are to walk in the garden for? + +Why, Camilla, I had a horrid dream last night; and I cannot be easy till +I go into the garden. + +What, madam, was your dream? + +In the orange grove, I thought I stumbled over the body of a dead man! + +And who was it, madam? + +Don't you know who was threatened? And was not somebody here to night? +And was not somebody to sup here? And is he here? + +The general then went to her. My dearest Clementina; my beloved sister; +set your heart at rest. Somebody is safe: shall be safe. + +She took first one of his hands, then the other; and looking in the palms +of them, They are not bloody, said she.--What have you done with him, +then? Where is he? + +Where is who? + +You know whom I ask after; but you want something against me. + +Then stepping quick up to me: My Jeronymo!--Did I see you before? and +stroked my cheek.--Now tell me, Jeronymo--Don't come near me, Camilla. +Pray, sir, to the general, do you sit down. She leaned her arm upon my +shoulder: I don't hurt you, Jeronymo: do I? + +No, my dearest Clementina! + +That's my best brother.--Cruel assassins!--But the brave man came just in +time to save you.--But do you know what is become of him? + +He is safe, my dear. He could not stay. + +Did any body affront him? + +No, my love. + +Are you sure nobody did?--Very sure? Father Marescotti, said she, turning +to him, (who wept from the time she entered,) you don't love him: but you +are a good man, and will tell me truth. Where is he? Did nobody affront +him? + +No, madam. + +Because, said she, he never did any thing but good to any one. + +Father Marescotti, said I, admires him as much as any body. + +Admire him! Father Marescotti admire him!--But he does not love him. +And I never heard him say one word against Father Marescotti in my life. +--Well, but, Jeronymo, what made him go away, then? Was he not to stay +supper? + +He was desired to stay; but would not. + +Jeronymo, let me whisper you--Did he tell you that I wrote him a letter? + +I guessed you did, whispered I. + +You are a strange guesser: but you can't guess how I sent it to him--But +hush, Jeronymo--Well, but, Jeronymo, Did he say nothing of me, when he +went away? + +He left his compliments for you with the general. + +With the general! The general won't tell me! + +Yes, he will.--Brother, pray tell my sister what the chevalier said to +you, at parting. + +He repeated, exactly, what you had desired him to say to her. + +Why would they not let me see him? said she. Am I never to see him more? + +I hope you will, replied the bishop. + +If, resumed she, we could have done any thing that might have looked like +a return to his goodness to us (and to you, my Jeronymo, in particular) I +believe I should have been easy.--And so you say he is gone?--And gone +for ever! lifting up her hand from her wrist, as it lay over my shoulder: +Poor chevalier!--But hush, hush, pray hush, Jeronymo. + +She went from me to her aunt, and cousin Laurana. Love me again, madam, +said she, to the former. You loved me once. + +I never loved you better than now, my dear. + +Did you, Laurana, see the Chevalier Grandison? + +I did. + +And did he go away safe, and unhurt? + +Indeed he did. + +A man who had preserved the life of our dear Jeronymo, said she, to have +been hurt by us, would have been dreadful, you know. I wanted to say a +few words to him. I was astonished to find him not here: and then my +dream came into my head. It was a sad dream, indeed! But, cousin, be +good to me: pray do. You did not use to be cruel. You used to say, you +loved me. I am in calamity, my dear. I know I am miserable. At times I +know I am; and then I am grieved at my heart, and think how happy every +one is, but me: but then, again, I ail nothing, and am well. But do love +me, Laurana: I am in calamity, my dear. I would love you, if you were in +calamity: indeed I would.--Ah, Laurana! What is become of all your fine +promises? But then every body loved me, and I was happy!--Yet you tell +me, it is all for my good. Naughty Laurana, to wound my heart by your +crossness, and then say, it is for my good!--Do you think I should have +served you so? + +Laurana blushed, and wept. Her aunt promised her, that every body would +love her, and comfort her, and not be angry with her, if she would make +her heart easy. + +I am very particular, my dear Grandison. I know you love I should be so. +From this minuteness, you will judge of the workings of her mind. They +are resolved to take your advice, (it was very seasonable,) and treat her +with indulgence. The count is earnest to have it so. + + +*** + + +Camilla has just left me. She says, that her young lady had a tolerable +night. She thinks it owing, in a great measure, to her being indulged in +asking the servants, who saw you depart, how you looked; and being +satisfied that you went away unhurt, and unaffronted. + +Adieu, my dearest, my best friend. Let me hear from you, as often as you +can. + + +*** + + +I just now understand from Camilla, that the dear girl has made an +earnest request to my father, mother, and aunt; and been refused. She +came back from them deeply afflicted; and, as Camilla fears, is going +into one of her gloomy fits again. I hope to write again, if you depart +not from Bologna before to-morrow: but I must, for my own sake, write +shorter letters. Yet how can I? Since, however melancholy the subject, +when I am writing to you, I am conversing with you. My dear Grandison, +once more adieu. + + +O Lucy, my dear! Whence come all the tears this melancholy story has +cost me? I cannot dwell upon the scenes!--Begone, all those wishes that +would interfere with the interest of that sweet distressed saint at +Bologna! + +How impolitic, Lucy, was it in them, not to gratify her impatience to see +him! She would, most probably, have been quieted in her mind, if she had +been obliged by one other interview. + +What a delicacy, my dear, what a generosity, is there in her love! + +Sir Charles, in Lord L----'s study, said to me, that his compassion was +engaged, but his honour was free: and so it seems to be: but a generosity +in return for her generosity, must bind such a mind as his. + + + +LETTER III + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +In the doctor's next letter, enclosed, you will find mention made of Sir +Charles's Literary Journal. I fancy, my dear, it must be a charming +thing. I wish we could have before us every line he wrote while he was +in Italy. Once the presumptuous Harriet had hopes, that she might have +been entitled--But no more of these hopes--It can't be helped, Lucy. + + +*** + + +DR. BARTLETT'S TWELFTH LETTER + +Mr. Grandison proceeds thus: + +The next morning I employed myself in visiting and taking leave of +several worthy members of the university, with whom I had passed many +very agreeable and improving hours, during my residence in this noble +city. In my Literary Journal you have an account of those worthy +persons, and of some of our conversations. I paid my duty to the +cardinal legate, and the gonfaloniere, and to three of his counsellors, +by whom, you know, I had been likewise greatly honoured. My mind was not +free enough to enjoy their conversation: such a weight upon my heart, how +could it? But the debt of gratitude and civility was not to be left +unpaid. + +On my return to my lodgings, which was not till the evening, I found, the +general had been there to inquire after me. + +I sent one of my servants to the palace of Porretta, with my compliments +to the general, to the bishop, and Jeronymo; and with particular +inquiries after the health of the ladies, and the marquis; but had only a +general answer, that they were much as I left them. + +The two young lords, Sebastiano and Juliano, made me a visit of ceremony. +They talked of visiting England in a year or two. I assured them of my +best services, and urged them to go thither. I asked them after the +healths of the marquis, the marchioness, and their beloved cousin +Clementina. Signor Sebastiano shook his head: very, very indifferent, +were his words. We parted with great civilities. + +I will now turn my thoughts to Florence, and to the affairs there that +have lain upon me, from the death of my good friend Mr. Jervois, and from +my wardship. I told you in their course, the steps I took in those +affairs; and how happy I had been in some parts of management. There I +hope soon to see you, my dear Dr. Bartlett, from the Levant, to whose +care I can so safely consign my precious trust, while I go to Paris, and +attend the wished-for call of my father to my native country, from which +I have been for so many years an exile. + +There also, I hope to have some opportunities of conversing with my good +Mrs. Beaumont; resolving to make another effort to get so valuable a +person to restore herself to my beloved England. + +Thus, my dear Dr. Bartlett, do I endeavour to console myself, in order to +lighten that load of grief which I labour under on the distresses of the +dear Clementina. If I can leave her happy, I shall be sooner so, than I +could have been in the same circumstances, had I, from the first of my +acquaintance with the family, (to the breach of all the laws of +hospitality,) indulged a passion for her. + +Yet is the unhappy Olivia a damp upon my endeavours after consolation. +When she made her unseasonable visit to me at Bologna, she refused to +return to Florence without me, till I assured her, that as my affairs +would soon call me thither, I would visit her at her own palace, as often +as those affairs would permit. Her pretence for coming to Bologna was, +to induce me to place Emily with her, till I had settled every thing for +my carrying the child to England; but I was obliged to be peremptory in +my denial, though she had wrought so with Emily, as to induce her to be +an earnest petitioner to me, to permit her to live with Lady Olivia, +whose equipages, and the glare in which she lives, had dazzled the eyes +of the young lady. + + +*** + + +I was impatient to hear again from Jeronymo; and just as I was setting +out for Florence, in despair of that favour, it being the second day +after my farewell visit, I had the following letter from him: + + +I have not been well, my dear Grandison. I am afraid the wound in my +shoulder must be laid open again. God give me patience! But my life is +a burden to me. + +We are driving here at a strange rate. They promised to keep measures +with the dear creature; but she has heard that you are leaving Bologna, +and raves to see you. + +Poor soul! She endeavoured to prevail upon her father, mother, aunt, to +permit her to see you, but for five minutes: that was the petition which +was denied her, as I mentioned in my last. + +Camilla was afraid that she would go into a gloomy fit upon it, as I told +you--She did; but it lasted not long: for she made an effort, soon after, +to go out of the house by way of the garden. The gardener refused his +key, and brought Camilla to her, whom she had, by an innocent piece of +art, but just before, sent to bring her something from her toilette. + +The general went with Camilla to her. They found her just setting a +ladder against the wall. She heard them, and screamed, and, leaving the +ladder, ran, to avoid them, till she came in sight of the great cascade; +into which, had she not by a cross alley been intercepted by the general, +it is feared she would have thrown herself. + +This has terrified us all: she begs but for one interview; one parting +interview; and she promises to make herself easy: but it is not thought +advisable. Yet Father Marescotti himself thought it best to indulge her. +Had my mother been earnest, I believe it had been granted: but she is so +much concerned at the blame she met with on permitting the last +interview, that she will not contend, though she has let them know, that +she did not oppose the request. + +The unhappy girl ran into my chamber this morning --Jeronymo; he will be +gone! said she: I know he will. All I want, is but to see him! To wish +him happy! And to know, if he will remember me when he is gone, as I +shall him!--Have you no interest, Jeronymo? Cannot I once see him? Not +once? + +The bishop, before I could answer, came in quest of her, followed by +Laurana, from whom she had forcibly disengaged herself, to come to me. + +Let me have but one parting interview, my lord, said she, looking to him, +and clinging about my neck. He will be gone: gone for ever. Is there so +much in being allowed to say, Farewell, and be happy, Grandison! and +excuse all the trouble I have given you?--What has my brother's preserver +done, what have I done, that I must not see him, nor he me, for one +quarter of an hour only? + +Indeed, my lord, said I, she should be complied with. Indeed she should. + +My father thinks otherwise, said the bishop: the count thinks otherwise: +I think otherwise. Were the chevalier a common man, she might. But she +dwells upon what passed in the last interview, and his behaviour to her. +That, it is plain, did her harm. + +The next may drive the thoughts of that out of her head, returned I. + +Dear Jeronymo, replied he, a little peevishly, you will always think +differently from every body else! Mrs. Beaumont comes to-morrow. + +What do I care for Mrs. Beaumont? said she.--I don't love her: she tells +every thing I say. + +Come, my dear love, said Laurana, you afflict your brother Jeronymo. Let +us go up to your own chamber. + +I afflict every body, and every body afflicts me; and you are all cruel. +Why, he will be gone, I tell you! That makes me so impatient: and I have +something to say to him. My father won't see me: my mother renounces me. +I have been looking for her, and she hides herself from me!--And I am a +prisoner, and watched, and used ill! + +Here comes my mother! said Laurana. You now must go up to your chamber, +cousin Clementina. + +So she does, said she; now I must go, indeed!--Ah, Jeronymo! Now there +is no saying nay.--But it is hard! very hard!--And she burst into tears. +I won't speak though, said she, to my aunt. Remember, I will be silent, +madam!--Then whispering me, My aunt, brother, is not the aunt she used to +be to me!--But hush, I don't complain, you know! + +By this I saw that Lady Sforza was severe with her. + +She addressed herself to her aunt: You are not my mamma, are you, madam? + +No, child. + +No, child, indeed! I know that too well. But my brother Giacomo is as +cruel to me as any body. But hush, Jeronymo!--Don't you betray me!--Now +my aunt is come, I must go!--I wish I could run away from you all! + +She was yesterday detected writing a letter to you. My mother was shewn +what she had written, and wept over it. My aunt took it out of my +sister's bosom, where she had thrust it, on her coming in. This she +resented highly. + +When she was led into her own chamber, she refused to speak; but in great +hurry went to her closet, and, taking down her bible, turned over one +leaf and another very quick. Lady Sforza had a book in her hand, and sat +over-against the closet-door to observe her motions. She came to a +place--Pretty! said she. + +The bishop had formerly given her a smattering of Latin--She took pen and +ink, and wrote. You'll see, chevalier, the very great purity of her +thoughts, by what she omitted, and what she chose, from the Canticles. +Velut unguentum diffunditur nomen tuum &c. + +[In the English translation, thus: Thy name is as ointment poured forth; +therefore do the virgins love thee. Draw me; we will run after thee: the +upright love thee. + +Look not upon me because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me. +My mother's children were angry with me: they made me the keeper of the +vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept. + +Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth! where thou feedest, where thou +makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth +aside by the flocks of thy companions?] + +She laid down her pen, and was thoughtful; her elbow resting on the +escritoire she wrote upon, her hand supporting her head. + +May I look over you, my dear? said her aunt, stepping to her; and, taking +up the paper, read it, and took it out of the closet with her, unopposed; +her gentle bosom only heaving sighs. + +I will write no more, so minutely, on this affecting subject, my +Grandison. + +They are all of opinion that she will be easy, when she knows that you +have actually left Bologna; and they strengthen their opinion by these +words of hers, above-recited; 'Why he will be gone, I tell you; and this +makes me so impatient.'--At least, they are resolved to try the +experiment. And so, my dear Grandison, you must be permitted to leave +us! + +God be your director and comforter, as well as ours! prays + +Your ever affectionate +JERONYMO. + + +*** + + +Mr. Grandison, having no hopes of being allowed to see the unhappy lady, +set out with a heavy heart for Florence. He gave orders there, and at +Leghorn, that the clerks and agents of his late friend Mr. Jervois should +prepare every thing for his inspection against his return from Naples; +and then he set out for that city, to attend the general. + +He had other friends to whom he had endeared himself at Sienna, Ancona, +and particularly at Rome, as he had also some at Naples; of whom he +intended to take leave, before he set out for Paris: and therefore went +to attend the general with the greater pleasure. + +Within the appointed time he arrived at Naples. + +The general received me, said Mr. Grandison, with greater tokens of +politeness than affection. You are the happiest man in the world, +chevalier, said he, after the first compliments, in escaping dangers by +braving them. I do assure you, that I had great difficulties to deny +myself the favour of paying you a visit in my own way at Bologna. I had +indeed resolved to do it, till you proposed this visit to me here. + +I should have been very sorry, replied I, to have seen a brother of Lady +Clementina in any way that should not have made me consider him as her +brother. But, before I say another word, let me ask after her health. +How does the most excellent of women? + +You have not heard, then? + +I have not, my lord: but it is not for want of solicitude: I have sent +three several messengers: but can hear nothing to my satisfaction. + +Nor can you hear any thing from me that will give you any. + +I am grieved at my soul, that I cannot. How, my lord, do the marquis and +marchioness? + +Don't ask. They are extremely unhappy. + +I hear that my dear friend, Signor Jeronymo, has undergone-- + +A dreadful operation, interrupted the general.--He has. Poor Jeronymo! +He could not write to you. God preserve my brother! But, chevalier, you +did not save half a life, though we thank you for that, when you restored +him to our arms. + +I had no reason to boast, my lord, of the accident. I never made a merit +of it. It was a mere accident, and cost me nothing. The service was +greatly over-rated. + +Would to God, chevalier, it had been rendered by any other man in the +world! + +As it has proved, I am sure, my lord, I have reason to join in the wish. + +He shewed me his pictures, statues, and cabinet of curiosities, while +dinner was preparing; but rather for the ostentation of his magnificence +and taste, than to do me pleasure. I even observed an increasing +coldness in his behaviour; and his eye was too often cast upon me with a +fierceness that shewed resentment; and not with the hospitable frankness +that became him to a visitor and guest, who had undertaken a journey of +above two hundred miles, principally to attend him, and to shew him the +confidence he had in his honour. This, as it was more to his dishonour +than mine, I pitied him for. But what most of all disturbed me, was, +that I could not obtain from him any particular intelligence relating to +the health of one person, whose distresses lay heavy upon my heart. + +There were several persons of distinction at dinner; the discourse could +therefore be only general. He paid me great respect at his table, but it +was a solemn one. I was the more uneasy at it, as I apprehended, that +the situation of the Bologna family was more unhappy than when I left +that city. + +He retired with me into his garden. You stay with me at least the week +out, chevalier? + +No, my lord: I have affairs of a deceased friend at Florence and at +Leghorn to settle. To-morrow, as early as I can, I shall set out for +Rome, in my way to Tuscany. + +I am surprised, chevalier. You take something amiss in my behaviour. + +I cannot say that your lordship's countenance (I am a very free speaker) +has that benignity in it, that complacency, which I have had the pleasure +to see in it. + +By G--! chevalier, I could have loved you better than any man in the +world, next to the men of my own family; but I own I see you not here +with so much love as admiration. + +The word admiration, my lord, may require explanation. You may admire at +my confidence: but I thank you for the manly freedom of your +acknowledgment in general. + +By admiration I mean, all that may do you honour. Your bravery in coming +hither, particularly; and your greatness of mind on your taking leave of +us all. But did you not then mean to insult me? + +I meant to observe to you then, as I now do in your own palace, that you +had not treated me as my heart told me I deserved to be treated: but when +I thought your warmth was rising to the uneasiness of your assembled +friends, instead of answering your question about my stay at Bologna, as +you seemed to mean it, I invited myself to an attendance upon you here, +at Naples, in such a manner as surely could not be construed as insult. + +I own, Grandison, you disconcerted me. I had intended to save you that +journey. + +Was that your lordship's meaning, when, in my absence, you called at my +lodgings, the day after the farewell-visit? + +Not absolutely: I was uneasy with myself. I intended to talk to you. +What that talk might have produced, I know not: but had I invited you +out, if I had found you at home, would you have answered my demands? + +According as you had put them. + +Will you answer them now, if I attend you as far as Rome, on your return +to Florence? + +If they are demands fit to be answered. + +Do you expect I will make any that are not fit to be answered? + +My lord, I will explain myself. You had conceived causeless prejudices +against me: you seemed inclined to impute to me a misfortune that was +not, could not be, greater to you than it was to me. I knew my own +innocence: I knew that I was rather an injured man, in having hopes given +me, in which I was disappointed, not by my own fault: whom shall an +innocent and an injured man fear?--Had I feared, my fear might have been +my destruction. For was I not in the midst of your friends? A +foreigner? If I would have avoided you, could I, had you been determined +to seek me?--I would choose to meet even an enemy as a man of honour, +rather than to avoid him as a malefactor. In my country, the law +supposes flight a confession of guilt. Had you made demands upon me that +I had not chosen to answer, I would have expostulated with you. I could +perhaps have done so as calmly as I now speak. If you would not have +been expostulated with, I would have stood upon my defence: but for the +world I would not have hurt a brother of Clementina and Jeronymo, a son +of the marquis and marchioness of Porretta, could I have avoided it. Had +your passion given me any advantage over you, and I had obtained your +sword, (a pistol, had the choice been left to me, I had refused for both +our sakes,) I would have presented both swords to you, and bared my +breast: It was before penetrated by the distresses of the dear +Clementina, and of all your family--Perhaps I should only have said, 'If +your lordship thinks I have injured you, take your revenge.' + +And now, that I am at Naples, let me say, that if you are determined, +contrary to all my hopes, to accompany me to Rome, or elsewhere, on my +return, with an unfriendly purpose; such, and no other, shall be my +behaviour to you, if the power be given me to shew it. I will rely on my +own innocence, and hope by generosity to overcome a generous man. Let +the guilty secure themselves by violence and murder. + +Superlative pride! angrily said he, and stood still, measuring me with +his eye: And could you hope for such an advantage? + +While I, my lord, was calm, and determined only upon self-defence; while +you were passionate, and perhaps rash, as aggressors generally are; I did +not doubt it: but could I have avoided drawing, and preserved your good +opinion, I would not have drawn. Your lordship cannot but know my +principles. + +Grandison, I do know them; and also the general report in your favour for +skill and courage. Do you think I would have heard with patience of the +once proposed alliance, had not your character--And then he was pleased +to say many things in my favour, from the report of persons who had +weight with him; some of whom he named. + +But still, Grandison, said he, this poor girl!--She could not have been +so deeply affected, had not some lover-like arts-- + +Let me, my lord, interrupt you--I cannot bear an imputation of this kind. +Had such arts been used, the lady could not have been so much affected. +Cannot you think of your noble sister, as a daughter of the two houses +from which you sprang? Cannot you see her, as by Mrs. Beaumont's means +we now so lately have been able to see her, struggling nobly with her own +heart, [Why am I put upon this tender subject?] because of her duty and +her religion; and resolved to die rather than encourage a wish that was +not warranted by both?--I cannot, my lord, urge this subject: but there +never was a passion so nobly contended with. There never was a man more +disinterested, and so circumstanced. Remember only, my voluntary +departure from Bologna, against persuasion; and the great behaviour of +your sister on that occasion; great, as it came out to be, when Mrs. +Beaumont brought her to acknowledge what would have been my glory to have +known, could it have been encouraged; but is now made my heaviest +concern. + +Indeed, Grandison, she ever was a noble girl! We are too apt perhaps to +govern ourselves by events, without looking into causes: but the access +you had to her; such a man! and who became known to us from circumstances +so much in his favour, both as a man of principle and bravery-- + +This, my lord, interrupted I, is still judging from events. You have +seen Mrs. Beaumont's letter. Surely you cannot have a nobler monument of +magnanimity in woman! And to that I refer, for a proof of my own +integrity. + +I have that letter: Jeronymo gave it me, at my taking leave of him; and +with these words: 'Grandison will certainly visit you at Naples. I am +afraid of your warmth. His spirit is well known. All my dependance is +upon his principles. He will not draw but in his own defence. Cherish +the noble visitor. Surely, brother, I may depend upon your hospitable +temper. Read over again this letter, before you see him.'--I have not +yet read it, proceeded the general; but I will, and that, if you will +allow me, now. + +He took it out of his pocket, walked from me, and read it; and then came +to me, and took my hand--I am half ashamed of myself, my dear Grandison: +I own I wanted magnanimity. All the distresses of our family, on this +unhappy girl's account, were before my eyes, and I received you, I +behaved to you, as the author of them. I was contriving to be +dissatisfied with you: Forgive me, and command my best services. I will +let our Jeronymo know how greatly you subdued me before I had recourse to +the letter; but that I have since read that part of it which accounts for +my sister's passion, and wish I had read it with equal attention before. +I acquit you: I am proud of my sister. Yet I observe from this very +letter, that Jeronymo's gratitude has contributed to the evil we deplore. +But--Let us not say one word more of the unhappy girl: It is painful to +me to talk of her. + +Not ask a question, my lord?-- + +Don't, Grandison, don't!--Jeronymo and Clementina are my soul's woe--But +they are not worse than might be apprehended. You go to court with me +to-morrow: I will present you to the king. + +I have had that honour formerly. I must depart to-morrow morning early. +I have already taken leave of several of my friends here: I have some to +make my compliments to at Rome, which I reserved for my return. + +You stay with me to-night?--I intend it, my lord. + +Well, we will return to company. I must make my excuses to my friends. +Your departure to-morrow must be one. They all admire you. They are +acquainted with your character. They will join with me to engage you, if +possible, to stay longer.--We returned to the company. + + + +LETTER IV + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +Receive now, my dear, the doctor's thirteenth letter, and the last he +intends to favour us with, till he entertains us with the histories of +Mrs. Beaumont, and Lady Olivia. + + +*** + + +DR. BARTLETT'S THIRTEENTH LETTER + +Mr. Grandison set out next morning. The general's behaviour to him at +his departure, was much more open and free than it was at receiving him. + +Mr. Grandison, on his return to Florence, entered into the affairs of his +late friend Mr. Jervois, with the spirit, and yet with the temper, for +which he is noted, when he engages in any business. He put every thing +in a happy train in fewer days than it would have cost some other persons +months; for he was present himself on every occasion, and in every +business, where his presence would accelerate it; yet he had +embarrassments from Olivia. + +He found, before he set out for Naples, that Mrs. Beaumont, at the +earnest request of the marchioness, was gone to Bologna. At his return, +not hearing any thing from Signor Jeronymo, he wrote to Mrs. Beaumont, +requesting her to inform him of the state of things in that family, as +far as she thought proper; and, particularly, of the health of that dear +friend, on whose silence to three letters he had written, he had the most +melancholy apprehensions. He let that lady know, that he should set out +in a very few days for Paris, if he had no probability of being of +service to the family she favoured with her company. + +To this letter Mrs. Beaumont returned the following answer: + + +SIR, + +I have the favour of yours. We are very miserable here. The servants +are forbidden to answer any inquiries, but generally; and that not truly. + +Your friend, Signor Jeronymo, has gone through a severe operation. He +has been given over; but hopes are now entertained, not of his absolute +recovery, but that he will be no worse than he was before the necessity +for the operation arose. Poor man! He forgot not, however, his sister +and you, when he was out of the power of the opiates that were +administered to him. + +On my coming hither, I found Lady Clementina in a deplorable way: +Sometimes raving, sometimes gloomy; and in bonds--Twice had she given +them apprehensions of fatal attempts: they, therefore, confined her +hands. + +They have been excessively wrong in their management of her: now +soothing, now severe; observing no method. + +She was extremely earnest to see you before you left Bologna. On her +knees repeatedly she besought this favour, and promised to be easy if +they would comply; but they imagined that their compliance would +aggravate the symptoms. + +I very freely blamed them for not complying, at the time when she was so +desirous of seeing you. I told them, that soothing her would probably +then have done good. + +When they knew you were actually gone from Bologna, they told her so. +Camilla shocked me with the description of her rage and despair, on the +communication. This was followed by fits of silence, and the deepest +melancholy. + +They had hopes, on my arrival, that my company would have been of service +to her: but for two days together she regarded me not, nor any thing I +could say to her. On the third of my arrival, finding her confinement +extremely uneasy to her, I prevailed, but with great difficulty, to have +her restored to the use of her hands; and to be allowed to walk with me +in the garden. They had hinted to me their apprehensions about a piece +of water. + +Her woman being near us, if there had been occasion for assistance, I +insensibly led that way. She sat down on a seat over-against the great +cascade; but she made no motion that gave me apprehensions. From this +time she has been fonder of me than before. The day I obtained this +liberty for her, she often clasped her arms about me, and laid her face +in my bosom; and I could plainly see, it was in gratitude for restoring +to her the use of her arms: but she cared not to speak. + +Indeed she generally affects deep silence: yet, at times, I see her very +soul is fretted. She moves to one place, is tired of that, shifts to +another, and another, all round the room. + +I am grieved at my heart for her: I never knew a more excellent young +creature. + +She is very attentive at her devotions, and as constant in them as she +used to be: Every good habit she preserves; yet, at other times, rambles +much. + +She is often for writing letters to you; but when what she writes is +privately taken from her, she makes no inquiry about it, but takes a new +sheet, and begins again. + +Sometimes she draws; but her subjects are generally angels and saints. +She often meditates in a map of the British dominions, and now and then +wishes she were in England. + +Lady Juliana de Sforza is earnest to have her with her at Urbino, or at +Milan, where she has also a noble palace; but I hope it will not be +granted. That lady professes to love her; but she cannot be persuaded +out of her notion of harsh methods, which will never do with Clementina. + +I shall not be able to stay long with her. The discomposure of so +excellent a young creature affects me deeply. Could I do her either good +or pleasure, I should be willing to deny myself the society of my dear +friends at Florence: but I am persuaded, and have hinted as much, that +one interview with you would do more to settle her mind, than all the +methods they have taken. + +I hope, sir, to see you before you leave Italy. It must be at Florence, +not at Bologna, I believe. It is generous of you to propose the latter. + +I have now been here a week, without hope. The doctors they have +consulted are all for severe methods, and low diet. The first, I think, +is in compliment to some of the family. She is so loath to take +nourishment, and when she does, is so very abstemious, that the regimen +is hardly necessary. She never, or but very seldom, used to drink any +thing but water. + +She took it into her poor head several times this day, and perhaps it +will hold, to sit in particular places, to put on attentive looks, as if +she were listening to somebody. She sometimes smiled, and seemed +pleased; looked up, as if to somebody, and spoke English. I have no +doubt, though I was not present when she assumed these airs, and talked +English, but her disordered imagination brought before her her tutor +instructing her in that tongue. + +You desired me, sir, to be very particular. I have been so; but at the +expense of my eyes: and I shall not wonder if your humane heart should be +affected by my sad tale. + +God preserve you, and prosper you in whatsoever you undertake! + +HORTENSIA BEAUMONT + + +Mrs. Beaumont staid at Bologna twelve days, and then left the unhappy +young lady. + +At taking leave, she asked her, what commands she had for her?--Love me, +said she, and pity me; that is one. Another is, (whispering her,) you +will see the chevalier, perhaps, though I must not.--Tell him, that his +poor friend Clementina is sometimes very unhappy!--Tell him, that she +shall rejoice to sit next him in heaven!--Tell him, that I say he cannot +go thither, good man as he is, while he shuts his eyes to the truth.-- +Tell him, that I shall take it very kindly of him, if he will not think +of marrying till he acquaints me with it; and can give me assurance, that +the lady will love him as well as somebody else would have done.--O Mrs. +Beaumont! should the Chevalier Grandison marry a woman unworthy of him, +what a disgrace would that be to me! + +Mr. Grandison by this time had prepared everything for his journey to +Paris. The friend he honoured with his love, was arrived from the +Levant, and the Archipelago. Thither, at his patron's request, he had +accompanied Mr. Beauchamp, the amiable friend of both; and at parting, +engaged to continue by letter what had been the subject of their daily +conversations, and transmit to him as many particulars as he could obtain +of Mr. Grandison's sentiments and behaviour, on every occasion; Mr. +Beauchamp proposing him as a pattern to himself, that he might be worthy +of the credential letters he had furnished him with to every one whom he +had thought deserving of his own acquaintance, when he was in the parts +which Mr. Beauchamp intended to visit. + +To the care of the person so much honoured by his confidence, Mr. +Grandison left his agreeable ward, Miss Jervois; requesting the +assistance of Mrs. Beaumont, who kindly promised her inspection; and with +the goodness for which she is so eminently noted, performed her promise +in his absence. + +He then made an offer to the bishop to visit Bologna once more; but that +not being accepted, he set out for Paris. + +It was not long before his Father's death called him to England; and when +he had been there a few weeks, he sent for his ward and his friend. + +But, my good Miss Byron, you will say, That I have not yet fully answered +your last inquiry, relating to the present situation of the unhappy +Clementina. + +I will briefly inform you of it. + +When it was known, for certain, that Mr. Grandison had actually left +Italy, the family at Bologna began to wish that they had permitted the +interview so much desired by the poor lady: and when they afterwards +understood that he was sent for to England, to take possession of his +paternal estate, that farther distance, (the notion likewise of the seas +between them appearing formidable,) added to their regrets. + +The poor lady was kept in travelling motion to quiet her mind: for still +an interview with Mr. Grandison having never been granted, it was her +first wish. + +They carried her to Urbino, to Rome, to Naples; then back to Florence, +then to Milan, to Turin. + +Whether they made her hope that it was to meet with Mr. Grandison, I know +not; but it is certain, she herself expected to see him at the end of +every journey; and, while she was moving, was easier, and more composed; +perhaps in that hope. + +The marchioness was sometimes of the party. The air and exercise were +thought proper for her health, as well as for that of her daughter. Her +cousin Laurana was always with her in these excursions, and sometimes +Lady Sforza; and their escort was, generally, Signors Sebastiano and +Juliano. + +But, within these four months past, these journeyings have been +discontinued. The young lady accuses them of deluding her with vain +hopes. She is impatient, and has made two attempts to escape from them. + +She is, for this reason, closely confined and watched. + +They put her once into a nunnery, at the motion of Lady Sforza, as for a +trial only. She was not uneasy in it: but this being done unknown to the +general, when he was apprised of it, he, for reasons I cannot comprehend, +was displeased, and had her taken out directly. + +Her head runs more than ever upon seeing her tutor, her friend, her +chevalier, once more. They have certainly been to blame, if they have +let her travel with such hopes; because they have thereby kept up her +ardour for an interview. Could she but once more see him, she says, and +let him know the cruelty she has been treated with, she should be +satisfied. He would pity her, she is sure, though nobody else will. + +The bishop has written to beg, that Sir Charles would pay them one more +visit at Bologna. + +I will refer to my patron himself the communicating to you, ladies, his +resolution on this subject. I had but a moment's sight of the letters +which so greatly affected him. + +It is but within these few days past that this new request has been made +to him, in a direct manner. The question was before put, If such a +request should be made, would he comply? And once Camilla wrote, as +having heard Sir Charles's presence wished for. + +Mean time the poor lady is hastening, they are afraid, into a consumptive +malady. The Count of Belvedere, however, still adores her. The disorder +in her mind being imputed chiefly to religious melancholy, and some of +her particular flights not being generally known, he, who is a pious man +himself, pities her; and declares, that he would run all risks of her +recovery, would the family give her to him: and yet he knows, that she +would choose to be the wife of the Chevalier Grandison, rather than that +of any other man, were the article of religion to be got over; and +generously applauds her for preferring her faith to her love. + +Signor Jeronymo is in a very bad way. Sir Charles often writes to him, +and with an affection worthy of the merits of that dear friend. He was +to undergo another severe operation on the next day after the letters +came from Bologna; the success of which was very doubtful. + +How nobly does Sir Charles appear to support himself under such heavy +distresses! For those of his friends were ever his. But his heart +bleeds in secret for them. A feeling heart is a blessing that no one, +who has it, would be without; and it is a moral security of innocence; +since the heart that is able to partake of the distress of another, +cannot wilfully give it. + +I think, my good Miss Byron, that I have now, as far as I am at present +able, obeyed all your commands that concern the unhappy Clementina, and +her family. I will defer, if you please, those which relate to Olivia +and Mrs. Beaumont, ladies of very different characters from each other, +having several letters to write. + +Permit me, my good ladies, and my lord, after contributing so much to +afflict your worthy hearts, to refer you, for relief under all the +distresses of life, whether they affect ourselves or others, to those +motives that can alone give true support to a rational mind. This mortal +scene, however perplexing, is a very short one; and the hour is hastening +when all the intricacies of human affairs shall be cleared up; and all +the sorrows that have had their foundation in virtue be changed into the +highest joy: when all worthy minds shall be united in the same interests, +the same happiness. + +Allow me to be, my good Miss Byron, and you, my Lord and Lady L----, and +Miss Grandison, + +Your most faithful and obedient servant, +AMBROSE BARTLETT. + + +Excellent Dr. Bartlett!--How worthy of himself is this advice! But think +you not, my Lucy, that the doctor has in it a particular view to your +poor Harriet? A generous one, meaning consolation and instruction to +her? I will endeavour to profit by it. Let me have your prayers, my +dear friends, that I may be enabled to succeed in my humble endeavours. + +It will be no wonder to us now, that Sir Charles was not solicitous to +make known a situation so embarrassing to himself, and so much involved +in clouds and uncertainty: but whatever may be the event of this affair, +you, Lucy, and all my friends, will hardly ever know me by any other name +than that of + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER V + +MISS HARRIET BYRON, TO MISS LUCY SELBY +FRIDAY, MARCH 31. + + + +You now, my dear friends, have before you this affecting story, as far as +Dr. Bartlett can give it. My cousins express a good deal of concern for +your Harriet: so does Miss Grandison: so doth my Lord and Lady L----: and +the more, as I seem to carry off the matter with assumed bravery. This +their kind concern for me looks, however, as if they thought me a +hypocrite; and I suppose, therefore, that I act my part very awkwardly. + +But, my dear, as this case is one of those few in which a woman can shew +a bravery of spirit, I think an endeavour after it is laudable; and the +rather, as in my conduct I aim at giving a tacit example to Miss Jervois. + +The doctor has whisper'd to me, that Lady Olivia is actually on her way +to England; and that the intelligence Sir Charles received of her +intention, was one of the things that disturbed him, as the news of his +beloved Signor Jeronymo's dangerous condition was another. + +Lady Anne S----, it seems, has not yet given up her hopes of Sir Charles. +The two sisters, who once favoured her above all the women they knew, +have not been able to bring themselves to acquaint a lady of her rank, +merit, and fortune, that there can be no hopes; and they are still more +loath to say, that their brother thinks himself under some obligation to +a foreign lady. Yet you know that this was always what we were afraid +of: but, who, now, will say afraid, that knows the merit of Clementina? + +I wish, methinks, that this man were proud, vain, arrogant, and a +boaster. How easily then might one throw off one's shackles! + +Lord G---- is very diligent in his court to Miss Grandison. His father +and aunt are to visit her this afternoon. She behaves whimsically to my +lord: yet I cannot think that she greatly dislikes him. + +The Earl of D---- and the Countess Dowager are both in town. The +Countess made a visit to my cousin Reeves last Tuesday: she spoke of me +very kindly: she says that my lord has heard so much of me, that he is +very desirous of seeing me: but she was pleased to say, that, since my +heart was not disengaged, she should be afraid of the consequences of his +visit to himself. + +My grandmamma, though she was so kindly fond of me, would not suffer me +to live with her; because she thought, that her contemplative temper +might influence mine, and make me grave, at a time of life, when she is +always saying, that cheerfulness is most becoming: she would therefore +turn over her girl to the best of aunts. But now I fancy, she will allow +me to be more than two days in a week her attendant. My uncle Selby will +be glad to spare me. I shall not be able to bear a jest: and then, what +shall I be good for? + +I have made a fine hand of coming to town, he says: and so I have: but if +my heart is not quite so easy as it was, it is, I hope, a better, at +least not a worse heart than I brought up with me. Could I only have +admired this man, my excursion would not have been unhappy. But this +gratitude, this entangling, with all its painful consequence--But let me +say, with my grandmamma, the man is Sir Charles Grandison! The very man +by whose virtues a Clementina was attracted. Upon my word, my dear, +unhappy as she is, I rank her with the first of women. + +I have not had a great deal of Sir Charles Grandison's company; but yet +more, I am afraid, than I shall ever have again. Very true--O heart! the +most wayward of hearts, sigh if thou wilt! + +You have seen how little he was with us, when we were absolutely in his +reach, and when he, as we thought, was in ours. But such a man cannot, +ought not to be engrossed by one family. Bless me, Lucy, when he comes +into public life, (for has not his country a superior claim to him beyond +every private one?) what moment can he have at liberty? Let me enumerate +some of his present engagements that we know of. + +The Danby family must have some farther portion of his time. + +The executorship in the disposal of the 3000£. in charity, in France as +well as in England, will take up a good deal more. + +My Lord W---- may be said to be under his tutelage, as to the future +happiness of his life. + +Miss Jervois's affairs, and the care he has for her person, engage much +of his attention. + +He is his own steward. + +He is making alterations at Grandison-hall; and has a large genteel +neighbourhood there, who long to have him reside among them; and he +himself is fond of that seat. + +His estate in Ireland is in a prosperous way, from the works he set on +foot there, when he was on the spot; and he talks, as Dr. Bartlett has +hinted to us, of making another visit to it. + +His sister's match with Lord G---- is one of his cares. + +He has services to perform for his friend Beauchamp, with his father and +mother-in-law, for the facilitating his coming over. + +The apprehended visit of Olivia gives him disturbance. + +And the Bologna family in its various branches, and more especially +Signor Jeronymo's dangerous state of health, and Signora Clementina's +disordered mind--O, Lucy!--What leisure has this man to be in love?--Yet +how can I say so, when he is in love already? And with Clementina.--And +don't you think, that when he goes to France on the executorship account, +he will make a visit to Bologna?--Ah, my dear, to be sure he will. + +After he has left England, therefore, which I suppose he will quickly do, +and when I am in Northamptonshire, what opportunities will your Harriet +have to see him, except she can obtain, as a favour, the power of +obliging his Emily, in her request to be with her? Then, Lucy, he may, +on his return to England, once a year or so, on his visiting his ward, +see, and thank for her care and love of his Emily, his half-estranged +Harriet!--Perhaps Lady Clementina Grandison will be with him! God +restore her! Surely I shall be capable, if she be Lady Grandison, of +rejoicing in her recovery!---- + +Fie upon it!--Why this involuntary tear? You would see it by the large +blot it has made, if I did not mention it. + +Excellent man!--Dr. Bartlett has just been telling me of a morning visit +he received, before he went out of town, from the two sons of Mrs. +Oldham. + +One of them is about seven years old; the other about five; very fine +children. He embraced them, the doctor says, with as much tenderness, as +if they were children of his own mother. He enquired into their +inclinations, behaviour, diversions; and engaged equally their love and +reverence. + +He told them, that, if they were good, he would love them; and said, he +had a dear friend, whom he reverenced as his father, a man with white +curling locks, he told the children, that they might know him at first +sight, who would now-and-then, as he happened to be in town, make +enquiries after their good behaviour, and reward them, as they gave him +cause. Accordingly he had desired Dr. Bartlett to give them occasionally +his countenance; as also to let their mother know, that he should be glad +of a visit from her, and her three children, on his return to town. + +The doctor had been to see her when he came to me. He found all three +with her. The two younger, impressed by the venerable description Sir +Charles had given of him, voluntarily, the younger, by the elder's +example, fell down on their knees before him, and begged his blessing. + +Mr. Oldham is about eighteen years of age; a well-inclined, well-educated +youth. He was full of acknowledgments of the favour done him in this +invitation. + +The grateful mother could not contain herself. Blessings without number, +she invoked on her benefactor, for his goodness in taking such kind +notice of her two sons, as he had done; and said, he had been, ever since +his gracious behaviour to her in Essex, the first and last in her prayers +to Heaven. But the invitation to herself, she declared, was too great an +honour for her to accept of: she should not be able to stand in his +presence. Alas! sir, said she, can the severest, truest penitence recall +the guilty past? + +The doctor said, that Sir Charles Grandison ever made it a rule with him, +to raise the dejected and humbled spirit. Your birth and education, +madam, entitle you to a place in the first company: and where there are +two lights in which the behaviour of any person may be set, though there +has been unhappiness, he always remembers the most favourable, and +forgets the other. I would advise you, madam, (as he has invited you,) +by all means to come. He speaks with pleasure of your humility and good +sense. + +The doctor told me, that Sir Charles had made inquiries after the +marriage of Major O'Hara with Mrs. Jervois, and had satisfied himself +that they were actually man and wife. Methinks I am glad for Miss +Jervois's sake, that her mother has changed her name. They lived not +happily together since their last enterprise: for the man, who had long +been a sufferer from poverty, was in fear of losing one half at least of +his wife's annuity, by what passed on that occasion; and accused her of +putting him upon the misbehaviour he was guilty of; which had brought +upon him, he said, the resentments of a man admired by all the world. + +The attorney, who visited Sir Charles from these people, at their +request, waited on him again, in their names, with hopes that they should +not suffer in their annuity, and expressing their concern for having +offended him. + +Mrs. O'Hara also requested it as a favour to see her daughter. + +Sir Charles commissioned the attorney, who is a man of repute, to tell +them, that if Mrs. O'Hara would come to St. James's-square next Wednesday +about five o'clock, Miss Jervois should be introduced to her; and she +should be welcome to bring with her her husband, and Captain Salmonet, +that they might be convinced he bore no ill-will to either of them. + +Adieu, till by and by. Miss Grandison is come, in one of her usual +hurries, to oblige me to be present at the visit to be made her this +afternoon, by the Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude, his sister, a maiden +lady advanced in years, who is exceedingly fond of her nephew, and +intends to make him heir of her large fortune. + + +*** + + +FRIDAY NIGHT. + +The earl is an agreeable man: Lady Gertrude is a very agreeable woman. +They saw Miss Grandison with the young lord's eyes; and were better +pleased with her, as I told her afterwards, than I should have been, or +than they would, had they known her as well as I do. She doubted not, +she answered me, but I should find fault with her; and yet she was as +good as for her life she could be. + +Such an archness in every motion! Such a turn of the eye to me on my +Lord G----'s assiduities! Such a fear in him of her correcting glance! +Such a half-timid, half-free parade when he had done any thing that he +intended to be obliging, and now and then an aiming at raillery, as if he +was not very much afraid of her, and dared to speak his mind even to her! +On her part, on those occasions, such an air, as if she had a learner +before her; and was ready to rap his knuckles, had nobody been present to +mediate for him; that though I could not but love her for her very +archness, yet in my mind, I could, for their sakes, but more for her own, +have severely chidden her. + +She is a charming woman; and every thing she says and does becomes her. +But I am so much afraid of what may be the case, when the lover is +changed into the husband, that I wish to myself now and then, when I see +her so lively, that she would remember that there was once such a man as +Captain Anderson. But she makes it a rule, she says, to remember nothing +that will vex her. + +Is not my memory (said she once) given me for my benefit, and shall I +make it my torment? No, Harriet, I will leave that to be done by you +wise ones, and see what you will get by it. + +Why this, Charlotte, replied I, the wise ones may have a chance to get by +it--They will, very probably, by remembering past mistakes, avoid many +inconveniencies into which forgetfulness will run you lively ones. + +Well, well, returned she, we are not all of us born to equal honour. +Some of us are to be set up for warnings, some for examples: and the +first are generally of greater use to the world than the other. + +Now, Charlotte, said I, do you destroy the force of your own argument. +Can the person who is singled out for the warning, be near so happy, as +she that is set up for the example? + +You are right as far as I know, Harriet: but I obey the present impulse, +and try to find an excuse afterwards for what that puts me upon: and all +the difference is this, as to the reward, I have a joy: you a comfort: +but comfort is a poor word; and I can't bear it. + +So Biddy, in 'The Tender Husband,' would have said, Charlotte. But poor +as the word is with you and her, give me comfort rather than joy, if they +must be separated. But I see not but that a woman of my Charlotte's +happy turn may have both. + +She tapped my cheek--Take that, Harriet, for making a Biddy of me. I +believe, if you have not joy, you have comfort, in your severity. + +My heart as well as my cheek glowed at the praises the earl and the lady +both joined in (with a fervor that was creditable to their own hearts) of +Sir Charles Grandison, while they told us what this man, and that woman +of quality or consideration said of him. Who would not be good? What is +life without reputation? Do we not wish to be remembered with honour +after death? And what a share of it has this excellent man in his life! +--May nothing, for the honour-sake of human nature, to which he is so +great an ornament, ever happen to tarnish it! + +They made me a hundred fine compliments. I could not but be pleased at +standing well in their opinion: but, believe me, my dear, I did not enjoy +their praises of me, as I did those they gave him. Indeed, I had the +presumption, from the approbation given to what they said of him by my +own heart, to imagine myself a sharer in them, though not in his merits. +Oh, Lucy! ought there not to have been a relation between us, since what +I have said, from what I found in myself on hearing him praised, is a +demonstration of a regard for him superior to the love of self? + +Adieu, my Lucy. I know I have all your prayers. + +Adieu, my dear! + + + +LETTER VI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SATURDAY, APRIL 1. + + +Dr. Bartlett is one of the kindest as well as best of men. I believe he +loves me as if I were his own child: but good men must be affectionate +men. He received but this morning a letter from Sir Charles, and +hastened to communicate some of its contents to me, though I could +pretend to no other motive but curiosity for wishing to be acquainted +with the proceedings of his patron. + +Sir Charles dined, as he had intended, with Sir Hargrave and his friends. +He complains in his letter of a riotous day: yet I think, adds he, it has +led me into some useful reflections. It is not indeed agreeable to be +the spectator of riot; but how easy to shun being a partaker in it! Ho +easy to avoid the too freely circling glass, if a man is known to have +established a rule to himself, from which he will not depart; and if it +be not refused sullenly; but mirth and good humour the more studiously +kept up, by the person; who would else indeed be looked upon as a spy on +unguarded folly! I heartily pitied a young man, who, I dare say, has a +good heart, but from false shame durst not assert the freedom that every +Englishman would claim a right to, in almost every other instance! He +had once put by the glass, and excused himself on account of his health; +but on being laughed at for a sober dog, as they phrased it, and asked, +if his spouse had not lectured him before he came out, he gave way to the +wretched raillery: nor could I interfere at such a noisy moment with +effect: they had laughed him out of his caution before I could be heard; +and I left him there at nine o'clock trying with Bagenhall which should +drink the deepest. + +I wish, my good Dr. Bartlett, you would throw together some serious +considerations on this subject. You could touch it delicately, and such +a discourse would not be unuseful to some few of our neighbours even at +Grandison-hall. What is it, that, in this single article, men sacrifice +to false shame and false glory! Reason, health, fortune, personal +elegance, the peace and order of their families; and all the comfort and +honour of their after-years. How peevish, how wretched, is the decline +of a man worn out with intemperance! In a cool hour, resolutions might +be formed, that should stand the attack of a boisterous jest. + +I obtained leave from Dr. Bartlett, to transcribe this part of the +letter. I thought my uncle would be pleased with it. + + +It was near ten at night, before Sir Charles got to Lord W----'s, though +but three miles from Sir Hargrave's. My lord rejoiced to see him; and, +after first compliments, asked him, if he had thought of what he had +undertaken for him. Sir Charles told him, that he was the more desirous +of seeing him in his way to the Hall, because he wanted to know if his +lordship held his mind as to marriage. He assured him he did, and would +sign and seal to whatever he should stipulate for him. + +I wished for a copy of this part of Sir Charles's letter, for the sake of +my aunt, whose delicacy would, I thought, be charmed with it. He has +been so good as to say, he would transcribe it for me. I will enclose +it, Lucy; and you will read it here: + + +I cannot, my lord, said Sir Charles, engage, that the lady will comply +with the proposal I shall take the liberty to make to her mother and her. +She is not more than three or four and thirty: she is handsome: she has a +fine understanding: she is brought up an economist: she is a woman of +good family: she has not, however, though born to happier prospects, a +fortune worthy of your lordship's acceptance. Whatever that is, you +will, perhaps, choose to give it to her family. + +With all my heart and soul, nephew: but do you say, she is handsome? Do +you say, she is of family? And has she so many good qualities?--Ah, +nephew! She won't have me, I doubt.--And is she not too young, Sir +Charles, to think of such a poor decrepit soul as I am? + +All I can say to this, my lord, is, that the proposals on your part must +be the more generous-- + +I will leave all those matters to you, kinsman-- + +This, my lord, I will take upon me to answer for, that she is a woman of +principle: she will not give your lordship her hand, if she thinks she +cannot make you a wife worthy of your utmost kindness: and now, my lord, +I will tell you who she is, that you may make what other inquiries you +think proper. + +And then I named her to him, and gave him pretty near the account of the +family, and the circumstances and affairs of it, that I shall by and by +give you; though you are not quite a stranger to the unhappy case. + +My lord was in raptures: he knew something, he said, of the lady's +father, and enough of the family, by hearsay, to confirm all I had said +of them; and besought me to do my utmost to bring the affair to a speedy +conclusion. + +Sir Thomas Mansfield was a very good man; and much respected in his +neighbourhood. He was once possessed of a large estate; but his father +left him involved in a law-suit to support his title to more than one +half of it. + +After it had been depending several years, it was at last, to the deep +regret of all who knew him, by the chicanery of the lawyers of the +opposite side, and the remissness of his own, carried against him; and +his expenses having been very great in supporting for years his +possession, he found himself reduced from an estate of near three +thousand pounds a year, to little more than five hundred. He had six +children: four sons, and two daughters. His eldest son died of grief in +two months after the loss of the cause. The second, now the eldest, is a +melancholy man. The third is a cornet of horse. The fourth is +unprovided for; but all three are men of worthy minds, and deserve better +fortune. + +The daughters are remarkable for their piety, patience, good economy, and +prudence. They are the most dutiful of children, and most affectionate +of sisters. They were for three years the support of their father's +spirits, and have always been the consolation of their mother. They lost +their father about four years ago: and it is even edifying to observe, +how elegantly they support the family reputation in their fine old +mansion-house by the prudent management of their little income; for the +mother leaves every household care to them; and they make it a rule to +conclude the year with discharging every demand that can be made upon +them, and to commence the new year absolutely clear of the world, and +with some cash in hand; yet were brought up in affluence, and to the +expectation of handsome fortunes; for, besides that they could have no +thought of losing their cause, they had very great and reasonable +prospects from Mr. Calvert, an uncle by their mother's side; who was rich +in money, and had besides an estate in land of 1500£. a year. He always +declared, that, for the sake of his sister's children, he would continue +a single man; and kept his word till he was upwards of seventy; when, +being very infirm in health, and defective even to dotage in his +understanding, Bolton, his steward, who had always stood in the way of +his inclination to have his eldest niece for his companion and manager, +at last contrived to get him married to a young creature under twenty, +one of the servants in the house; who brought him a child in seven +months; and was with child again at the old man's death, which happened +in eighteen months after his marriage: and then a will was provided, in +which he gave all he had to his wife and her children born, and to be +born, within a year after his demise. This steward and woman now live +together as man and wife. + +A worthy clergyman, who hoped it might be in my power to procure them +redress, either in the one case or in the other, gave me the above +particulars; and upon inquiry, finding every thing to be as represented, +I made myself acquainted with the widow lady and her sons: and it was +impossible to see them at their own house, and not respect the daughters +for their amiable qualities. + +I desired them, when I was last down, to put into my hands their titles, +deeds, and papers; which they have done; and they have been laid before +counsel, who give a very hopeful account of them. + +Being fully authorized by my lord, I took leave of him over-night, and +set out early in the morning, directly for Mansfield-house. I arrived +there soon after their breakfast was over, and was received by Lady +Mansfield, her sons, (who happened to be all at home,) and her two +daughters, with politeness. + +After some general conversation, I took Lady Mansfield aside; and making +an apology for my freedom, asked her, If Miss Mansfield were, to her +knowledge, engaged in her affections? + +She answered, she was sure she was not: Ah, sir, said she, a man of your +observation must know, that the daughters of a decayed family of some +note in the world, do not easily get husbands. Men of great fortunes +look higher: men of small must look out for wives to enlarge them; and +men of genteel businesses are afraid of young women better born than +portioned. Every body knows not that my girls can bend to their +condition; and they must be contented to live single all their lives; and +so they will choose to do, rather than not marry creditably, and with +some prospect. + +I then opened my mind fully to her. She was agreeably surprised: but +who, sir, said she, would expect such a proposal from the next heir to +Lord W----? + +I made known to her how much in earnest I was in this proposal, as well +for my lord's sake, as for the young lady's. I will take care, madam, +said I, that Miss Mansfield, if she will consent to make Lord W---- +happy, shall have very handsome settlements, and such an allowance for +pin-money, as shall enable her to gratify every moderate, every +reasonable, wish of her heart. + +Was it possible, she asked, for such an affair to be brought about? +Would my lord--There she stopt. + +I said, I would be answerable for him: and desired her to break the +matter to her daughter directly. + +I left Lady Mansfield, and joined the brothers, who were with their two +sisters; and soon after Miss Mansfield was sent for by her mother. + +After they had been a little while together, my Lady Mansfield sent to +speak with me. They were both silent when I came in. The mother was at +a loss what to say: the daughter was in still greater confusion. + +I addressed myself to the mother. You have, I perceive, madam, +acquainted Miss Mansfield with the proposal I made to you. I am fully +authorized to make it. Propitious be your silence! There never was, +proceeded I, a treaty of marriage set on foot, that had not its +conveniencies and inconveniencies. My lord is greatly afflicted with the +gout: there is too great a disparity in years. These are the +inconveniencies which are to be considered of for the lady. + +On the other hand, if Miss Mansfield can give into the proposal, she will +be received by my lord as a blessing; as one whose acceptance of him will +lay him under an obligation to her. If this proposal could not have been +made with dignity and honour to the lady, it had not come from me. + +The conveniencies to yourselves will more properly fall under the +consideration of yourselves and family. One thing only I will suggest, +that an alliance with so rich a man as Lord W----, will make, perhaps, +some people tremble, who now think themselves secure. + +But, madam, to the still silent daughter, let not a regard for me bias +you: your family may be sure of my best services, whether my proposal be +received or rejected. + +My lord (I must deal sincerely with you) has lived a life of error. He +thinks so himself. I am earnest to have him see the difference, and to +have an opportunity to rejoice with him upon it. + +I stopt: but both being still silent, the mother looking on the daughter, +the daughter glancing now and then her conscious eye on the mother, If, +madam, said I, you can give your hand to Lord W----, I will take care, +that settlements shall exceed your expectation. What I have observed as +well as heard of Miss Mansfield's temper and goodness, is the principal +motive of my application to her, in preference to all the women I know. + +But permit me to say, that were your affections engaged to the lowest +honest man on earth, I would not wish for your favour to my Lord W----. +And, further, if, madam, you think you should have but the shadow of a +hope, to induce your compliance, that my Lord's death would be more +agreeable to you than his life, then would I not, for your morality's +sake, wish you to engage. In a word, I address myself to you, Miss +Mansfield, as to a woman of honour and conscience: if your conscience +bids you doubt, reject the proposal; and this not only for my lord's +sake, but for your own. + +Consider, if, without too great a force upon your inclinations, you can +behave with that condescension and indulgence to a man who has hastened +advanced age upon himself, which I have thought from your temper I might +hope. + +I have said a great deal, because you, ladies, were silent; and because +explicitness in every case becomes the proposer. Give me leave to +withdraw for a few moments. + +I withdrew, accordingly, to the brothers and sister. I did not think I +ought to mention to them the proposal I had made: it might perhaps have +engaged them all in its favour, as it was of such evident advantage to +the whole family; and that might have imposed a difficulty on the lady, +that neither for her own sake, nor my lord's, it would have been just to +lay upon her. + +Lady Mansfield came out to me, and said, I presume, sir, as we are a +family which misfortune as well as love, has closely bound together, you +will allow it to be mentioned-- + +To the whole family, madam!--By all means. I wanted only first to know, +whether Miss Mansfield's affections were disengaged: and now you shall +give me leave to attend Miss Mansfield. I am a party for my Lord W----: +Miss Mansfield is a party: your debates will be the more free in our +absence. If I find her averse, believe me, madam, I will not endeavour +to persuade her. On the contrary, if she declare against accepting the +proposal, I will be her advocate, though every one else should vote in +its favour. + +The brothers and sister looked upon one another: I left the mother to +propose it to them; and stept into the inner parlour to Miss Mansfield. + +She was sitting with her back to the door, in a meditating posture. She +started at my entrance. + +I talked of indifferent subjects, in order to divert her from the +important one, that had taken up her whole attention. + +It would have been a degree of oppression to her to have entered with her +upon a subject of so much consequence to her while we were alone; and +when her not having given a negative, was to be taken as a modest +affirmative. + +Lady Mansfield soon joined us--My dear daughter, said she, we are all +unanimous. We have agreed to leave every thing to Sir Charles Grandison: +and we hope you will. + +She was silent. I will only ask you, madam, said I, to her, if you have +any wish to take time to consider of the matter? Do you think you shall +be easier in your mind, if you take time?--She was silent. + +I will not at this time, my good Miss Mansfield, urge you further. I +will make my report to Lord W----, and you shall be sure of his joyful +approbation of the steps I have taken, before your final consent shall be +asked for. But that I may not be employed in a doubtful cause, let me be +commissioned to tell my lord, that you are disengaged; and that you +wholly resign yourself to your mother's advice. + +She bowed her head. + +And that you, madam, to Lady Mansfield, are not averse to enter into +treaty upon this important subject. + +Averse, sir! said the mother, bowing, and gratefully smiling. + +I will write the particulars of our conversation to Lord W----, and my +opinion of settlements, and advise him (if I am not forbid) to make a +visit at Mansfield House. [I stopt: they were both silent.] If +possible, I will attend my lord in his first visit. I hope, madam, to +Miss Mansfield, you will not dislike him; I am sure he will be charmed +with you: he is far from being disagreeable in his person: his temper is +not bad. Your goodness will make him good. I dare say that he will +engage your gratitude; and I defy a good mind to separate love from +gratitude. + +We returned to company. I had all their blessings pronounced at once, as +from one mouth. The melancholy brother was enlivened: who knows but the +consequence of this alliance may illuminate his mind? I could see by the +pleasure they all had, in beholding him capable of joy on the occasion, +that they hoped it would. The unhappy situation of the family affairs, +as it broke the heart of the eldest brother, fixed a gloom on the temper +of this gentleman. + +I was prevailed upon to dine with them. In the conversation we had at +and after dinner, their minds opened, and their characters rose upon me. +Lord W---- will be charmed with Miss Mansfield. I am delighted to think, +that my mother's brother will be happy, in the latter part of his life, +with a wife of so much prudence and goodness, as I am sure this lady will +make him. On one instance of her very obliging behaviour to me, I +whispered her sister, Pray, Miss Fanny, tell Miss Mansfield, but not till +I am gone, that she knows not the inconveniencies she is bringing upon +herself: I may, perhaps, hereafter, have the boldness, to look for the +same favour from my aunt, that I meet with from Miss Mansfield. + +If my sister, returned she, should ever misbehave to her benefactor, I +will deny my relation to her. + + +You will soon have another letter from me, with an account of the success +of my visit to Sir Harry Beauchamp and his lady. We must have our +Beauchamp among us, my dear friend: I should rather say, you must among +you; for I shall not be long in England. He will supply to you, my dear +Dr. Bartlett, the absence (it will not, I hope, be a long one) of your + +CHARLES GRANDISON. + + +Sir Charles, I remember, as the doctor read, mentions getting leave for +his Beauchamp to come over, who, he says, will supply his absence to him +--But, ah, Lucy! Who, let me have the boldness to ask, shall supply it +to your Harriet? Time, my dear, will do nothing for me, except I could +hear something very much amiss of this man. + +I have a great suspicion, that the first part of the letter enclosed was +about me. The doctor looked so earnestly at me, when he skipt two sides +of it; and, as I thought, with so much compassion!--To be sure, it was +about me. + +What would I give to know as much of his mind as Dr. Bartlett knows! If +I thought he pitied the poor Harriet--I should scorn myself. I am, I +will be, above his pity, Lucy. In this believe your + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER VII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SUNDAY NIGHT, APRIL 2. + + +Dr. Bartlett has received from Sir Charles an account of what passed last +Friday between him and Sir Harry and Lady Beauchamp. By the doctor's +allowance, I enclose it to you. + +In this letter, Lucy, you will see him in a new light; and as a man whom +there is no resisting, when he resolves to carry a point. But it +absolutely convinces me, of what indeed I before suspected, that he has +not an high opinion of our sex in general: and this I will put down as a +blot in his character. He treats us, in Lady Beauchamp, as perverse +humoursome babies, loving power, yet not knowing how to use it. See him +so delicate in his behaviour and address to Miss Mansfield, and carry in +your thoughts his gaiety and adroit management to Lady Beauchamp, as in +this letter, and you will hardly think him the same man. Could he be +any thing to me, I should be more than half afraid of him: yet this may +be said in his behalf;--He but accommodates himself to the persons he has +to deal with:--He can be a man of gay wit, when he pleases to descend, as +indeed his sister Charlotte has as often found, as she has given occasion +for the exercise of that talent in him:--Yet, that virtue, for its own +sake, is his choice; since, had he been a free liver, he would have been +a dangerous man. + +But I will not anticipate too much: read it here, if you please. + + + +LETTER VIII + +SIR CHARLES GRANDISON, TO DR. BARTLETT +[ENCLOSED IN THE PRECEDING.] +GRANDISON HALL, FRIDAY NIGHT, MARCH 31. + + +I arrived at Sir Harry Beauchamp's about twelve this day. He and his +lady expected me, from the letter which I wrote and shewed you before I +left the town; in which, you know, I acquainted Sir Harry with his son's +earnest desire to throw himself at his feet, and to pay his duty to his +mother, in England; and engaged to call myself, either this day or +to-morrow, for an answer. + +Sir Harry received me with great civility, and even affection. Lady +Beauchamp, said he, will be with us in a moment. I am afraid you will +not meet with all the civility from her on the errand you are come upon, +that a man of Sir Charles Grandison's character deserves to meet with +from all the world. We have been unhappy together, ever since we had +your letter. I long to see my son: your friendship for him establishes +him in my heart. But--And then he cursed the apron-string tenure, by +which, he said, he held his peace. + +You will allow me, Sir Harry, said I, to address myself in my own way to +my lady. You give me pleasure, in letting me know, that the difficulty +is not with you. You have indeed, sir, one of the most prudent young men +in the world for your son. His heart is in your hand: you may form it as +you please. + +She is coming! She is coming! interrupted he. We are all in pieces: we +were in the midst of a feud, when you arrived. If she is not civil to +you-- + +In swam the lady; her complexion raised; displeasure in her looks to me, +and indignation in her air to Sir Harry; as if they had not had their +contention out, and she was ready to renew it. + +With as obliging an air as I could assume, I paid my compliments to her. +She received them with great stiffness; swelling at Sir Harry: who sidled +to the door, in a moody and sullen manner, and then slipt out. + +You are Sir Charles Grandison, I suppose, sir, said she; I never saw you +before: I have heard much talk of you.--But, pray, sir, are good men +always officious men? Cannot they perform the obligations of friendship, +without discomposing families? + +You see me now, madam, in an evil moment, if you are displeased with me: +but I am not used to the displeasure of ladies: I do my utmost not to +deserve it; and, let me tell you, madam, that I will not suffer you to be +displeased with me. + +I took her half-reluctant hand, and led her to a chair, and seated myself +in another near her. + +I see, sir, you have your arts. + +She took the fire-screen, that hung by the side of the chimney, and held +it before her face, now glancing at me, now turning away her eye, as if +resolved to be displeased. + +You come upon a hateful errand, sir: I have been unhappy ever since your +officious letter came. + +I am sorry for it, madam. While you are warm with the remembrance of a +past misunderstanding, I will not offer to reason with you: but let me, +madam, see less discomposure in your looks. I want to take my +impressions of you from more placid features: I am a painter, madam: I +love to draw lady's pictures. Will you have this pass for a first +sitting? + +She knew not what to do with her anger: she was loath to part with it. + +You are impertinent, Sir Charles--Excuse me--You are impertinent. + +I do excuse you, Lady Beauchamp: and the rather, as I am sure you do not +think me so. Your freedom is a mark of your favour; and I thank you for +it. + +You treat me as a child, sir-- + +I treat all angry people as children: I love to humour them. Indeed, +Lady Beauchamp, you must not be angry with me. Can I be mistaken? Don't +I see in your aspect the woman of sense and reason?--I never blame a lady +for her humoursomeness, so much as, in my mind, I blame her mother. + +Sir! said she. I smiled. She bit her lip, to avoid returning a smile. + +Her character, my dear friend, is not, you know, that of an ill-tempered +woman, though haughty, and a lover of power. + +I have heard much of you, Sir Charles Grandison: but I am quite mistaken +in you: I expected to see a grave formal young man, his prim mouth set in +plaits: But you are a joker; and a free man; a very free man, I do assure +you. + +I would be thought decently free, madam; but not impertinent. I see with +pleasure a returning smile. O that ladies knew how much smiles become +their features!--Very few causes can justify a woman's anger--Your sex, +madam, was given to delight, not to torment us. + +Torment you, sir!--Pray, has Sir Harry-- + +Sir Harry cannot look pleased, when his lady is dis-pleased: I saw that +you were, madam, the moment I beheld you. I hope I am not an unwelcome +visitor to Sir Harry for one hour, (I intend to stay no longer,) that he +received me with so disturbed a countenance, and has now withdrawn +himself, as if to avoid me. + +To tell you the truth, Sir Harry and I have had a dispute: but he always +speaks of Sir Charles Grandison with pleasure. + +Is he not offended with me, madam, for the contents of the letter-- + +No, sir, and I suppose you hardly think he is--But I am-- + +Dear madam, let me beg your interest in favour of the contents of it. + +She took fire--rose up-- + +I besought her patience--Why should you wish to keep abroad a young man, +who is a credit to his family, and who ought to be, if he is not, the joy +of his father? Let him owe to your generosity, madam, that recall, which +he solicits: it will become your character: he cannot be always kept +abroad: be it your own generous work-- + +What, sir--Pray, sir--With an angry brow--- + +You must not be angry with me, madam--(I took her hand)--You can't be +angry in earnest-- + +Sir Charles Grandison--You are--She withdrew her hand; You are, repeated +she--and seemed ready to call names-- + +I am the Grandison you call me; and I honour the maternal character. You +must permit me to honour you, madam. + +I wonder, sir-- + +I will not be denied. The world reports misunderstandings between you +and Mr. Beauchamp. That busy world that will be meddling, knows your +power, and his dependence. You must not let it charge you with an ill +use of that power: if you do, you will have its blame, when you might +have its praise: he will have its pity. + +What, sir, do you think your fine letters, and smooth words, will avail +in favour of a young fellow who has treated me with disrespect? + +You are misinformed, madam.--I am willing to have a greater dependence +upon your justice, upon your good-nature, than upon any thing I can urge +either by letter or speech. Don't let it be said, that you are not to be +prevailed on--A woman not to be prevailed on to join in an act of +justice, of kindness; for the honour of the sex, let it not be said. + +Honour of the sex, sir!--Fine talking!--Don't I know, that were I to +consent to his coming over, the first thing would be to have his annuity +augmented out of my fortune? He and his father would be in a party +against me. Am I not already a sufferer through him in his father's +love?--You don't know, sir, what has passed between Sir Harry and me +within this half-hour--But don't talk to me: I won't hear of it: the +young man hates me: I hate him; and ever will. + +She made a motion to go. + +With a respectful air, I told her, she must not leave me. My motive +deserved not, I said, that both she and Sir Harry should leave me in +displeasure. + +You know but too well, resumed she, how acceptable your officiousness (I +must call it so) is to Sir Harry. + +And does Sir Harry, madam, favour his son's suit? You rejoice me: let +not Mr. Beauchamp know that he does: and do you, my dear Lady Beauchamp, +take the whole merit of it to yourself. How will he revere you for your +goodness to him! And what an obligation, if, as you say, Sir Harry is +inclined to favour him, will you, by your generous first motion, lay upon +Sir Harry! + +Obligation upon Sir Harry! Yes, Sir Charles Grandison, I have laid too +many obligations already upon him, for his gratitude. + +Lay this one more. You own you have had a misunderstanding this morning: +Sir Harry is withdrawn, I suppose, with his heart full: let me, I beseech +you, make up the misunderstanding. I have been happy in this way--Thus +we will order it--We will desire him to walk in. I will beg your +interest with him in favour of the contents of the letter I sent. His +compliance will follow as an act of obligingness to you. The grace of +the action will be yours. I will be answerable for Mr. Beauchamp's +gratitude.--Dear madam, hesitate not. The young gentleman must come over +one day: let the favour of its being an early one, be owing entirely to +you. + +You are a strange man, sir: I don't like you at all: you would persuade +me out of my reason. + +Let us, madam, as Mr. Beauchamp and I are already the dearest of friends, +begin a family understanding. Let St. James's-square, and +Berkley-square, when you come to town, be a next-door neighbourhood. +Give me the consideration of being the bondsman for the duty of Mr. +Beauchamp to you, as well as to his father. + +She was silent: but looked vexed and irresolute. + +My sisters, madam, are amiable women. You will be pleased with them. +Lord L---- is a man worthy of Sir Harry's acquaintance. We shall want +nothing, if you would think so, but Mr. Beauchamp's presence among us. + +What! I suppose you design your maiden sister for the young fellow--But +if you do, sir, you must ask me for--There she stopt. + +Indeed I do not. He is not at present disposed to marry. He never will +without his father's approbation, and let me say--yours. My sister is +addressed to by Lord G----, and I hope will soon be married to him. + +And do you say so, Sir Charles Grandison?--Why then you are a more +disinterested man, than I thought you in this application to Sir Harry. +I had no doubt but the young fellow was to be brought over to marry Miss +Grandison; and that he was to be made worthy of her at my expense. + +She enjoyed, as it seemed, by her manner of pronouncing the words young +fellow, that designed contempt, which was a tacit confession of the +consequence he once was of to her. + +I do assure you, madam, that I know not his heart, if he has at present +any thoughts of marriage. + +She seemed pleased at this assurance. + +I repeated my wishes, that she would take to herself the merit of +allowing Mr. Beauchamp to return to his native country: and that she +would let me see her hand in Sir Harry's, before I left them. + +And pray, sir, as to his place of residence, were he to come: do you +think he should live under the same roof with me? + +You shall govern that point, madam, as you approve or disapprove of his +behaviour to you. + +His behaviour to me, sir!--One house cannot, shall not, hold him and me. + +I think, madam, that you should direct in this article. I hope, after a +little while, so to order my affairs, as constantly to reside in England. +I should think myself very happy if I could prevail upon Mr. Beauchamp to +live with me. + +But I must see him, I suppose? + +Not, madam, unless you shall think it right, for the sake of the world's +opinion, that you should. + +I can't consent-- + +You can, madam! You do!--I cannot allow Lady Beauchamp to be one of +those women, who having insisted upon a wrong point, can be convinced, +yet not know how to recede with a grace.--Be so kind to yourself, as to +let Sir Harry know, that you think it right for Mr. Beauchamp to return; +but that it must be upon your own conditions: then, madam, make those +conditions generous ones; and how will Sir Harry adore you! How will Mr. +Beauchamp revere you! How shall I esteem you! + +What a strange impertinent have I before me! + +I love to be called names by a lady. If undeservedly, she lays herself +by them under obligation to me, which she cannot be generous if she +resolves not to repay. Shall I endeavour to find out Sir Harry? Or will +you, madam? + +Was you ever, Sir Charles Grandison, denied by any woman to whom you sued +for favour? + +I think, madam, I hardly ever was: but it was because I never sued for a +favour, that it was not for a lady's honour to grant. This is the case +now; and this makes me determine, that I will not be denied the grant of +my present request. Come, come, madam! How can a woman of your +ladyship's good sense (taking her hand, and leading her to the door) seem +to want to be persuaded to do a thing she knows in her heart to be right! +Let us find Sir Harry. + +Strange man!--Unhand me--He has used me unkindly-- + +Overcome him then by your generosity. But, dear Lady Beauchamp, taking +both her hands, and smiling confidently in her face, [I could, my dear +Dr. Bartlett, do so to Lady Beauchamp,] will you make me believe, that a +woman of your spirit (you have a charming spirit, Lady Beauchamp) did not +give Sir Harry as much reason to complain, as he gave you?--I am sure by +his disturbed countenance-- + +Now, Sir Charles Grandison, you are downright affronting. Unhand me! + +This misunderstanding is owing to my officious letter. I should have +waited on you in person. I should from the first have put it in your +power, to do a graceful and obliging thing. I ask your pardon. I am not +used to make differences between man and wife. + +I touched first one hand, then the other, of the perverse baby with my +lips--Now am I forgiven: now is my friend Beauchamp permitted to return +to his native country: now are Sir Harry and his Lady reconciled--Come, +come, madam, it must be so--What foolish things are the quarrels of +married people!--They must come to an agreement again; and the sooner the +better; before hard blows are struck, that will leave marks--Let us, dear +madam, find out Sir Harry-- + +And then, with an air of vivacity, that women, whether in courtship or +out of it, dislike not, I was leading her once more to the door, and, as +I intended, to Sir Harry, wherever he could be found. + +Hold, hold, sir! resisting; but with features far more placid than she +had suffered to be before visible--If I must be compelled--You are a +strange man, Sir Charles Grandison--If I must be compelled to see Sir +Harry--But you are a strange man--And she rang the bell. + +Lady Beauchamp, Dr. Bartlett, is one of those who would be more ready to +forgive an innocent freedom, than to be gratified by a profound respect; +otherwise I had not treated her with so little ceremony. Such women are +formidable only to those who are afraid of their anger, or who make it a +serious thing. + +But when the servant appeared, she not knowing how to condescend, I said, +Go to your master, sir, and tell him that your lady requests the +favour-- + +Requests the favour! repeated she; but in a low voice: which was no bad +sign. + +The servant went with a message worded with more civility than perhaps he +was used to carry to his master from his lady. + +Now, dear Lady Beauchamp, for your own sake; for Sir Harry's sake; make +happy; and be happy. Are there not, dear madam, unhappinesses enow in +life, that we must wilfully add to them? + +Sir Harry came in sight. He stalked towards us with a parade like that +of a young officer wanting to look martial at the head of his company. + +Could I have seen him before he entered, my work would have been easier. +But his hostile air disposed my lady to renew hostilities. + +She turned her face aside, then her person; and the cloudy indignation +with which she entered at first, again overspread her features. Ought +wrath, Dr. Bartlett, to be so ready to attend a female will?--Surely, +thought I, my lady's present airs, after what has passed between her and +me, can be only owing to the fear of making a precedent, and being +thought too easily persuaded. + +Sir Harry, said I, addressing myself to him, I have obtained Lady +Beauchamp's pardon for the officious letter-- + +Pardon, Sir Charles Grandison! You are a good man, and it was kindly +intended-- + +He was going on: anger from his eyes flashed upon his cheek-bones, and +made them shine. My lady's eyes struck fire at Sir Harry, and shewed +that she was not afraid of him. + +Better intended, than done, interrupted I, since my lady tells me, that +it was the occasion of a misunderstanding--But, sir, all will be right: +my lady assures me, that you are not disinclined to comply with the +contents; and she has the goodness-- + +Pray, Sir Charles, interrupted the lady-- + +To give me hopes that she-- + +Pray, Sir Charles-- + +Will use her interest to confirm you in your favourable sentiments-- + +Sir Harry cleared up at once--May I hope, madam--And offered to take her +hand. + +She withdrew it with an air. O Dr. Bartlett, I must have been thought an +unpolite husband, had she been my wife! + +I took her hand. Excuse this freedom, Sir Harry--For Heaven's sake, +madam, (whispering,) do what I know you will do, with a grace--Shall +there be a misunderstanding, and the husband court a refused hand?--I +then forced her half-unwilling hand into his, with an air that I intended +should have both freedom and respect in it. + +What a man have we got here, Sir Harry? This cannot be the modest man, +that you have praised to me--I thought a good man must of necessity be +bashful, if not sheepish: and here your visitor is the boldest man in +England. + +The righteous, Lady Beauchamp, said Sir Harry, with an aspect but +half-conceding, is bold as a lion. + +And must I be compelled thus, and by such a man, to forgive you, Sir +Harry?--Indeed you were very unkind. + +And you, Lady Beauchamp, were very cruel. + +I did not think, sir, when I laid my fortune at your feet-- + +O, Lady Beauchamp! You said cutting things! Very cutting things. + +And did not you, Sir Harry, say, it should be so?--So very peremptorily! + +Not, madam, till you, as peremptorily-- + +A little recrimination, thought I, there must be, to keep each in +countenance on their past folly. + +Ah, Sir Charles!--You may rejoice that you are not married, said Sir +Harry. + +Dear Sir Harry, said I, we must bear with ladies. They are meek good +creatures--They-- + +Meek! Sir Charles, repeated Sir Harry, with a half-angry smile, and +shrugging, as if his shoulder had been hurt with his wife's meekness-- +say, meek! + +Now, Sir Charles Grandison, said my lady, with an air of threatening-- + +I was desirous either of turning the lady's displeasure into a jest, or +of diverting it from the first object, in order to make her play with it, +till she had lost it. + +Women are of gentle natures, pursued I; and, being accustomed to be +humoured, opposition sits not easy upon them. Are they not kind to us, +Sir Harry, when they allow of our superiority, by expecting us to bear +with their pretty perversenesses? + +O, Sir Charles Grandison! said my lady; both her hands lifted up. + +Let us be contented, proceeded I, with such their kind acknowledgments, +and in pity to them, and in compliment to ourselves, bear with their +foibles.--See, madam, I ever was an advocate for the ladies. + +Sir Charles, I have no patience with you-- + +What can a poor woman do, continued I, when opposed? She can only be a +little violent in words, and, when she has said as much as she chooses to +say, be perhaps a little sullen. For my part, were I so happy as to call +a woman mine, and she happened to be in the wrong, I would endeavour to +be in the right, and trust to her good sense to recover her temper: +arguments only beget arguments.--Those reconciliations are the most +durable, in which the lady makes the advances. + +What doctrine is this, Sir Charles! You are not the man I took you for. +--I believe, in my conscience, that you are not near so good a man, as +the world reports you. + +What, madam, because I pretend to know a little of the sex? Surely, Lady +Beauchamp, a man of common penetration may see to the bottom of a woman's +heart. A cunning woman cannot hide it. A good woman will not. You are +not, madam, such mysteries, as some of us think you. Whenever you know +your own minds, we need not be long doubtful: that is all the difficulty: +and I will vindicate you, as to that-- + +As how, pray, sir? + +Women, madam, were designed to be dependent, as well as gentle, +creatures; and, of consequence when left to their own wills, they know +not what to resolve upon. + +I was hoping, Sir Charles, just now, that you would stay to dinner: but +if you talk at this rate, I believe I shall be ready to wish you out of +the house. + +Sir Harry looked as if he were half-willing to be diverted at what passed +between his lady and me. It was better for me to say what he could not +but subscribe to by his feeling, than for him to say it. Though reproof +seldom amends a determined spirit, such a one as this lady's; yet a man +who suffers by it cannot but have some joy when he hears his sentiments +spoken by a bystander. This freedom of mine seemed to save the married +pair a good deal of recrimination. + +You remind me, madam, that I must be gone, rising and looking at my +watch. + +You must not leave us, Sir Charles, said Sir Harry. + +I beg excuse, Sir Harry--Yours, also, madam, smiling--Lady Beauchamp must +not twice wish me out of the house. + +I will not excuse you, sir, replied she--If you have a desire to see the +matter completed--She stopt--You must stay to dinner, be that as it will. + +'Be that as it will,' madam!--You shall not recede. + +Recede! I have not yet complied-- + +O these women! They are so used to courtship, that they know not how to +do right things without it--And, pardon me, madam, not always with it. + +Bold man--Have I consented-- + +Have you not, madam, given a lady's consent? That we men expect not to +be very explicit, very gracious.--It is from such non-negative consents, +that we men make silence answer all we wish. + +I leave Sir Charles Grandison to manage this point, said Sir Harry. In +my conscience, I think the common observation just: a stander-by sees +more of the game, than he that plays. + +It ever will be so, Sir Harry--But I will tell you, my lady and I have as +good as agreed the matter-- + +I have agreed to nothing, Sir Harry-- + +Hush, madam--I am doing you credit.--Lady Beauchamp speaks aside +sometimes, Sir Harry: you are not to hear any thing she says, that you +don't like. + +Then I am afraid I must stop my ears for eight hours out of twelve. + +That was aside, Lady Beauchamp--You are not to hear that. + +To sit, like a fool, and hear myself abused--A pretty figure I make! Sir +Charles Grandison, let me tell you, that you are the first man that ever +treated me like a fool. + +Excuse, madam, a little innocent raillery--I met you both, with a +discomposure on your countenances. I was the occasion of it, by the +letter I sent to Sir Harry. I will not leave you discomposed. I think +you a woman of sense; and my request is of such a nature, that the +granting of it will confirm to me, that you are so--But you have granted +it-- + +I have not. + +That's charmingly said--My lady will not undervalue the compliment she is +inclined to make you, Sir Harry. The moment you ask for her compliance, +she will not refuse to your affection, what she makes a difficulty to +grant to the entreaty of an almost stranger. + +Let it, let it be so! Lady Beauchamp, said Sir Harry: and he clasped his +arms about her as she sat-- + +There never was such a man as this Sir Charles Grandison in the world!-- +It is a contrivance between you, Sir Harry-- + +Dear Lady Beauchamp, resumed I, depreciate not your compliment to Sir +Harry. There wanted not contrivance, I dare to hope, (if there did, it +had it not,) to induce Lady Beauchamp to do a right, a kind, an obliging +thing. + +Let me, my dearest Lady Beauchamp, said Sir Harry--Let me request-- + +At your request, Sir Harry--But not at Sir Charles's. + +This is noble, said I. I thank you, madam, for the absent youth. Both +husband and son will think themselves favoured by you; and the more, as I +am sure, that you will by the cheerful welcome, which you will give the +young man, shew, that it is a sincere compliment that you have made to +Sir Harry. + +This man has a strange way of flattering one into acts of--of--what shall +I call them?--But, Sir Harry, Mr. Beauchamp must not, I believe, live +with us-- + +Sir Harry hesitated. + +I was afraid of opening the wound. I have a request to make to you both, +said I. It is this; that Mr. Beauchamp may be permitted to live with me; +and attend you, madam, and his father, as a visitor, at your own command. +My sister, I believe, will be very soon married to Lord G----. + +That is to be certainly so, interrupted the lady? + +It is, madam. + +But what shall we say, my dear, resumed Sir Harry--Don't fly out again-- +As to the provision for my son?--Two hundred a year--What is two hundred +a year---- + +Why then let it be three, answered she. + +I have a handsome and improvable estate, said I. I have no demands but +those of reason upon me. I would not offer a plea for his coming to +England, (and I am sure he would not have come, if I had,) without his +father's consent: in which, madam, he hoped for yours. You shall not, +sir, allow him either the two or three hundred a year. See him with +love, with indulgence (he will deserve both;) and think not of any thing +else for my Beauchamp. + +There is no bearing this, my dear, said Sir Harry; leaning upon his +lady's shoulder, as he sat, tears in his eyes--My son is already, as I +have heard, greatly obliged to this his true friend--Do you, do you, +madam, answer for me, and for yourself. + +She was overcome: yet pride had its share with generosity. You are, said +she, the Grandison I have heard of: but I will not be under obligations +to you--not pecuniary ones, however. No, Sir Harry! Recall your son: I +will trust to your love: do for him what you please: let him be +independent on this insolent man; [She said this with a smile, that made +it obliging;] and if we are to be visitors, friends, neighbours, let it +be on an equal foot, and let him have nothing to reproach us with. + +I was agreeably surprised at this emanation (shall I call it?) of +goodness: she is really not a bad woman, but a perverse one; in short, +one of those whose passions, when rightly touched, are liable to sudden +and surprising turns. + +Generous, charming Lady Beauchamp! said I: now are you the woman, whom I +have so often heard praised for many good qualities: now will the +portrait be a just one! + +Sir Harry was in raptures; but had like to have spoiled all, by making me +a compliment on the force of example. + +Be this, said I, the result--Mr. Beauchamp comes over. He will be +pleased with whatever you do: at your feet, madam, he shall acknowledge +your favour: My home shall be his, if you permit it: On me, he shall +confer obligations; from you, he shall receive them. If any +considerations of family prudence (there are such, and very just ones) +restrain you from allowing him, at present, what your generosity would +wish to do-- + +Lady Beauchamp's colour was heightened: She interrupted me--We are not, +Sir Charles, so scanty in our fortune-- + +Well, my dear Lady Beauchamp, be all that as you will: not one retrospect +of the past-- + +Yes, Sir Charles, but there shall: his allowance has been lessened for +some years; not from considerations of family prudence--But--Well, 'tis +all at an end, proceeded she--When the young man returns, you, Sir Harry, +for my sake, and for the sake of this strange unaccountable creature, +shall pay him the whole arrear. + +Now, my dear Lady Beauchamp, said I, listing her hand to my lips, permit +me to give you joy. All doubts and misgivings so triumphantly got over, +so solid a foundation laid for family harmony--What was the moment of +your nuptials to this? Sir Harry, I congratulate you: you may, and I +believe you have been, as happy as most men; but now, you will be still +happier. + +Indeed, Sir Harry, said she, you provoked me in the morning: I should not +else-- + +Sir Harry owned himself to blame; and thus the lady's pride was set down +softly. + +She desired Sir Harry to write, before the day concluded, the invitation +of return, to Mr. Beauchamp; and to do her all the credit in it that she +might claim from the last part of the conversation; but not to mention +any thing of the first. + +She afterwards abated a little of this right spirit, by saying, I think, +Sir Harry, you need not mention any thing of the arrears, as I may call +them--But only the future 600£. a year. One would surprise him a little, +you know, and be twice thanked-- + +Surprises of such a nature as this, my dear Dr. Bartlett; pecuniary +surprises!--I don't love them--They are double taxes upon the gratitude +of a worthy heart. Is it not enough for a generous mind to labour under +a sense of obligation?--Pride, vain-glory, must be the motive of such +narrow-minded benefactors: a truly beneficent spirit cannot take delight +in beholding the quivering lip indicating the palpitating heart; in +seeing the downcast countenance, the up-lifted hands, and working +muscles, of a fellow-creature, who, but for unfortunate accidents, would +perhaps himself have had the will, with the power, of shewing a more +graceful benevolence! + +I was so much afraid of hearing farther abatements of Lady Beauchamp's +goodness; so willing to depart with favourable impressions of her for her +own sake; and at the same time so desirous to reach the Hall that night; +that I got myself excused, though with difficulty, staying to dine; and +accepting of a dish of chocolate, I parted with Sir Harry and my lady, +both in equal good humour with themselves and me. + +Could you have thought, my dear friend, that I should have succeeded so +very happily, as I have done, in this affair, and at one meeting? + +I think that the father and stepmother should have the full merit with +our Beauchamp of a turn so unexpected. Let him not therefore ever see +this letter, that he may take his impression of the favour done him, from +that which Sir Harry will write to him. + +My cousin Grandison, whom I hoped to find here, left the Hall on Tuesday +last, though he knew of my intention to be down. I am sorry for it. +Poor Everard! He has been a great while pretty good. I am afraid he +will get among his old acquaintance; and then we shall not hear of him +for some months perhaps. If you see him in town, try to engage him, till +I return. I should be glad of his company to Paris, if his going with +me, will keep him out of harm's way, as it is called. + + +*** + + +SATURDAY, APRIL 1. + +I have had compliments sent me by many of my neighbours, who had hoped I +was come to reside among them. They professed themselves disappointed on +my acquainting them, that I must go up early on Monday morning. I have +invited myself to their Saturday assembly at the Bowling-green-house. + +Our reverend friend Mr. Dobson has been so good as to leave with me the +sermon he is to preach to-morrow on the opening of the church: it is a +very good discourse: I have only exceptions to three or four compliments +he makes to the patron in as many different places of it: I doubt not but +he will have the goodness to omit them. + +I have already looked into all that has been done in the church; and all +that is doing in the house and gardens. When both have had the direction +and inspection of my dear Dr. Bartlett, need I say, that nothing could +have been better? + + +*** + + +Halden is just arrived from my lord, with a letter, which has enabled me +to write to Lady Mansfield his lordship's high approbation of all our +proceedings; and that he intends some one early day in next week to pay +to her, and Miss Mansfield, his personal compliments. + +He has left to me the article of settlements; declaring, that his regard +for my future interest is all that he wishes may be attended to. + +I have therefore written, as from himself, that he proposes a jointure of +1200£. a year, penny-rents, and 300 guineas a year for her private purse; +and that his lordship desires, that Miss Mansfield will make a present to +her sister of whatever she may be entitled to in her own right. +Something was mentioned to me at Mansfield-house of a thousand pounds +left to her by a godmother. + +Halden being very desirous to see his future lady, I shall, at his +request, send the letter I have written to Lady Mansfield by him early in +the morning; with a line recommending him to the notice of that lady as +Lord W----'s principal steward. + +Adieu, my dear Dr. Bartlett: I have joy in the joy of all these good +people. If Providence graciously makes me instrumental to it, I look +upon myself but as its instrument. I hope ostentation has no share in +what draws on me more thanks and praises than I love to hear. + +Lord W---- has a right to be made happy by his next relation, if his next +relation can make him so. Is he not my mother's brother? Would not her +enlarged soul have rejoiced on the occasion, and blessed her son for an +instance of duty to her, paid by his disinterested regard for her +brother? Who, my dear Dr. Bartlett, is so happy, yet who, in some cases, +so unhappy, as your + +CHARLES GRANDISON. + + + +LETTER IX + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +MONDAY, APRIL 3. + + +The Countess of D----, and the earl, her son, have but just left us. The +countess sent last night, to let my cousin Reeves know of their intended +morning visit, and they came together. As the visit was made to my +cousin, I did not think myself obliged to be in waiting for them below. I +was therefore in my closet, comforting myself with my own agreeable +reflections. They were there a quarter of an hour before I was sent to. + +Their talk was of me. I am used to recite my own praises, you know; and +what signifies making a parade of apologies for continuing the use? I +don't value myself so much as I once did on peoples favourable opinions. +If I had a heart in my own keeping, I should be glad it was thought a +good one; that's all. Yet though it has littlenesses in it that I knew +nothing of formerly, I hope it is not a bad one. + +My Lord D----, by the whole turn of the partial conversation, was led to +expect a very extraordinary young woman. The lady declared, that she +would have her talk out, and hear all my two cousins were inclined to say +of me, before I was sent up to, as I was not below when they came. + +I was therefore to be seen only as a subject of curiosity. My lord had +declared, it seems, that he would not be denied an introduction to me by +his mother. But there were no thoughts of making any application to a +girl whose heart was acknowledged not to be her own. My lord's honour +would not allow of such an intention. Nor ought it. + +His impatience, however, hastened the message to me. The countess met me +half-way, and embraced me. My lovely girl, how do you?--My lord, said +she, turning to the earl, I need not say--This is Miss Byron. + +He bowed low, and made me a very high compliment; but it had sense in it, +though high, and above my merits. Girls, writing of themselves on these +occasions, must be disclaimers, you know: But, my dear uncle, what care I +now for compliments? The man, from whose mouth only they could be +acceptable, is not at liberty to make me any. + +The countess engaged me in an easy general conversation; part of which +turned upon Lord and Lady L----, Miss Grandison, and Miss Jervois, and +how I had passed my time at Colnebrook, in this wintry season, when there +were so many diversions in town. But, said she, you had a man with you, +who is the admiration of every man and woman, wherever he goes. + +Is there no making an acquaintance, said my lord, with Sir Charles +Grandison? What I hear said of him, every time he is mentioned in +company, is enough to fire a young man with emulation. I should be happy +did I deserve to be thought of as a second or third man to Sir Charles +Grandison. + +I dare say, returned I, your lordship's acquaintance would be highly +acceptable to him. He is easy of access. Men of rank, if men of merit, +must be of kindred, and recognize one another the moment they meet. But +Sir Charles will soon leave England. + +The fool sighed: it was, you may believe, involuntarily. I felt myself +blush, and was the more silly for that. + +The countess took my hand--One word with you, my dear--and led me out +into the next room, and sitting down, made me sit on the same settee with +her. + +O that I could call you daughter! began she at once; and turning half +round to me, put one arm about me, with her other hand taking one of +mine, and earnestly looking in my downcast face. + +I was silent. Ah, Lucy! had Lady D---- been the mother of Sir Charles +Grandison, with what pleasure could I have listened to her! + +You said, my dear, that Sir Charles Grandison will soon leave England: +--and then you sighed--Will you be quite open-hearted?--May I ask you a +question in hope that you will? + +I was silent: yet the word Yes was on my lips. + +You have caused it to be told me, that your affections are engaged. This +has been a cruel blow upon us. My lord, nevertheless, has heard so much +of you, [he is really a good young man, my dear,] that (against my +advice, I own,) he would have me introduce him into your company. I see +by his looks, that he could admire you above all women. He never was in +love: I should be sorry if he were disappointed in his first love. I +hope his promised prudence will be his guard, if there be no prospect of +his succeeding with you--She paused--I was still silent-- + +It will be a mark of your frankness of heart, my dear, if, when you take +my full meaning, you prevent me speaking more than I need.--I would not +oppress you, my sweet love--Such a delicacy, and such a frankness +mingled, have I never seen in young woman--But tell me, my dear, has Sir +Charles Grandison made his addresses to you? + +It was a grievous question for me to answer--But why was it so, my Lucy, +when all the hopes I ever had, proceeded from my own presumption, +confirmed (that's true, of late!) by his sisters partiality in my favour; +and when his unhappy Clementina has such a preferable claim? + +What says Miss Byron? + +She says, madam, that she reveres Lady D----, and will answer any +questions that she puts to her, however affecting--Sir Charles Grandison +has not. + +Once I thought, proceeded she, that I never would make a second motion, +were the woman a princess, who had confessed a prior love, or even +liking: but the man is Sir Charles Grandison, whom all women must esteem; +and the woman is Miss Byron, whom all men must love. Let me ask you, my +dear--Have you any expectation, that the first of men (I will call him +so) and the loveliest and most amiable-minded of women, can come +together?--You sighed, you know, when you mentioned, that Sir Charles was +soon to leave England; and you own that he has not made addresses to you +--Don't be uneasy, my love!--We women, in these tender cases, see into +each other's hearts from small openings--Look upon me as your mother-- +What say you, love? + +Your ladyship compliments me with delicacy and frankness--It is too hard +a question, if I have any of the first, to answer without blushes. A +young woman to be supposed to have an esteem for a man, who has made no +declarations, and whose behaviour to her is such only as shews a +politeness to which he is accustomed, and only the same kind of +tenderness as he shews to his sisters;--and whom sometimes he calls +sister--as if--Ah, madam, how can one answer? + +You have answered, my dear, and with that delicacy and frankness too, +which make a principal part of your character. If my son (and he shall +not be encouraged in his hopes, if he sees you not, mind as well as +person, with his mother's eyes) should not be able to check himself by +the apprehensions he has had reason for, of being but a second man in the +favour of the object of his wishes [We, my dear, have our delicacies]; +could you not allow him a second place in your favour, that might, in +time, as he should merit, and as you should subdue your prepossessions, +give him a first?--Hush--my dear, for one moment--Your honour, your +piety, are my just dependence; and will be his.--And now speak: it is to +me, my dear: speak your whole heart: let not any apprehended difficulty-- +I am a woman as well as you. And prepared to indulge-- + +Your goodness, madam, and nothing else, interrupted I, gives me +difficulty.--My Lord D---- seems to me to be a man of merit, and not a +disagreeable man in his person and manners. What he said of Sir Charles +Grandison, and of his emulation being fired by his example, gave him +additional merit with me. He must have a good mind. I wish him +acquainted with Sir Charles, for his own sake, and for the sake of the +world, which might be benefited by his large power, so happily directed! +--But as to myself, I should forfeit the character of frankness of heart, +which your ladyship's goodness ascribes to me, if I did not declare, that +although I cannot, and, I think ought not to entertain a hope with regard +to Sir Charles Grandison, since there is a lady who deserved him by +severe sufferings before I knew him; yet is my heart so wholly attached, +that I cannot think it just to give the least encouragement to any other +proposal. + +You are an excellent young woman: but, my dear, if Sir Charles Grandison +is engaged--your mind will, it must change. Few women marry their first +loves. Your heart-- + +O, madam! it is already a wedded heart: it is wedded to his merits; his +merits will be always the object of my esteem: I can never think of any +other, as I ought to think of the man to whom I give my hand. + +Like merits, my dear, as person is not the principal motive, may produce +like attachments. My Lord D---- will be, in your hands, another Sir +Charles Grandison. + +How good you are, my dear Lady D----! But allow me to repeat, as the +strongest expression I can use, because I mean it to carry in it all the +force that can be given it, that my heart is already a wedded heart. + +You have spoken with great force: God bless you, my dear, as I love you! +The matter shall take its course. If my lord should happen to be a +single man some time hence (and, I can tell you, that your excellencies +will make our choice difficult): and if your mind, from any accident, or +from persuasion of friends, should then have received alteration; you may +still be happy in each other. I will therefore only thank you for that +openness of heart, which must set free the heart of my son--Had you had +the least lurking inclination to coquetry, and could have taken pride in +conquests, he might have been an undone man.--We will return to the +company--But spare him, my dear: you must not talk much. He will love +you, if you do, too fervently for his own peace. Try to be a little +awkward--I am afraid for him: indeed I am. O that you had never seen Sir +Charles Grandison! + +I could not answer one word. She took my hand; and led me into the +company. + +Had I been silent, when my lord directed his discourse to me, or answered +only No, or Yes, the Countess would have thought me very vain; and that +I ascribed to myself the consequence she so generously gave me, with +respect to my lord. I therefore behaved and answered unaffectedly; but +avoided such a promptness of speech, as would have looked like making +pretensions to knowledge and opinion, though some of my lord's questions +were apparently designed to engage me into freedom of discourse. The +countess observed me narrowly. She whispered to me, that she did; and +made me a very high compliment on my behaviour. How much, Lucy, do I +love and reverence her! + +My lord was spoken too slightly of, by Miss Grandison, in a former +conversation. He is really a fine gentleman. Any woman who is not +engaged in her affections, may think herself very happy with him. His +conversation was easy and polite, and he said nothing that was low or +trifling. Indeed, Lucy, I think Mr. Greville and Mr. Fenwick are as +greatly inferior to Lord D----, as Lord D---- is to Sir Charles +Grandison. + +At parting, he requested of me, to be allowed to repeat his visits. + +My lord, said the countess, before I could answer, you must not expect a +mere stiff maiden answer from Miss Byron: she is above all vulgar forms. +She and her cousins have too much politeness, and, I will venture to say, +discernment, not to be glad of your acquaintance, as an acquaintance-- +But, for the rest, you must look to your heart. + +I shall be afraid, said he, turning to the countess, to ask your ladyship +for an explanation. Miss Byron, I hope, sir, addressing himself to Mr. +Reeves, will not refuse me her company, when I pay you my compliments. +Then turning to me, I hope, madam, I shall not be punished for admiring +you. + +My Lord D----, replied I, will be entitled to every civility. I had said +more, had he not snatched my hand a little too eagerly, and kissed it. + +And thus much for the visit of the Countess of D---- and the earl. + + +*** + + +Did I tell you in my former letter, that Emily is with me half her time? +She is a most engaging young creature. Her manners are so pure! Her +heart is so sincere and open!--O, Lucy! you would dearly love her. I +wish I may be asked to carry her down with me. Yet she adores her +guardian: but her reverence for him will not allow of the innocent +familiarity in thinking of him, that--I don't know what I would say. But +to love with an ardor, that would be dangerous to one's peace, one must +have more tenderness than reverence for the object: Don't you think so, +Lucy? + +Miss Grandison made me one of her flying visits, as she calls them, soon +after the countess and my lord went away. + +Mr. and Mrs. Reeves told her all that had been said before them by the +earl and countess, as well before I went down to them, as after. They +could not tell her what passed between that lady and me, when she took me +aside. I had not had time to tell them. They referred to me for that: +but besides that I was not in spirits, and cared not to say much, I was +not willing to be thought by my refusal of so great an offer, to seem to +fasten myself upon her brother. + +She pitied (who but must?) Lady Clementina. She pitied her brother also: +and, seeing me dejected, she clasped her arms about me, and wet my cheek +with a sisterly tear. + +Is it not very strange, Lucy, that his father should keep him so long +abroad? These free-living men! of what absurdities are they not guilty! +What misfortunes to others do they not occasion? One might, with the +excellent Clementina, ask, What had Mr. Grandison to do in Italy! Or +why, if he must go abroad, did he stay so long? + +Travelling! Young men travelling! I cannot, my dear, but think it a +very nonsensical thing! What can they see, but the ruins of the gay, +once busy world, of which they have read? + +To see a parcel of giddy boys under the direction of tutors or governors +hunting after--What?--Nothing: or, at best, but ruins of ruins; for the +imagination, aided by reflection, must be left, after all, to make out +the greater glories, which the grave-digger Time has buried too deep for +discovery. + +And when this grand tour is completed, the travelled youth returns: And, +what is his boast? Why to be able to tell, perhaps his better taught +friend, who has never been out of his native country, that he has seen in +ruins, what the other has a juster idea of from reading; and of which, it +is more than probable, he can give a much better account than the +traveller. + +And are these, petulant Harriet, (methinks, Lucy, you demand,) all the +benefits that you will suppose Sir Charles Grandison has reaped from his +travelling? + +Why, no. But then, in turn, I ask, Is every traveller a Sir Charles +Grandison?--And does not even he confess to Dr. Bartlett, that he wished +he had never seen Italy? And may not the poor Clementina, and all her +family, for her sake, wish he never had? + +If an opportunity offers, I don't know, but I may ask Sir Charles, +whether, in his conscience, he thinks, that, taking in every +consideration, relating to time, expense, risques of life, health, +morals, this part of the fashionable education of youth of condition is +such an indispensable one, as some seem to suppose it? If Sir Charles +Grandison give it not in favour of travelling, I believe it will be +concluded, that six parts out of eight of the little masters who are sent +abroad for improvement, might as well be kept at home; if, especially, +they would be orderly, and let their fathers and mothers know what to do +with them. + +O, my uncle! I am afraid of you: but spare the poor girl: she +acknowledges her petulance, her presumption. The occasion you know, and +will pity her for it! However, neither petulance nor presumption shall +make her declare as her sentiments what really are not so, in her +unprejudiced hours; and she hopes to have her heart always open to +conviction. + +For the present, Adieu, my Lucy. + + +P.S. Dr. Bartlett tells me, that Mr. Beauchamp is at Calais, waiting the +pleasure of his father; and that Sir Harry has sent express for him, as +at his lady's motion. + + + +LETTER X + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY, APRIL 4. + + +Sir Charles Grandison came to town last night. He was so polite as to +send to inquire after my health; and to let Mr. Reeves know, that he +would do himself the honour, as he called it, of breakfasting with him +this morning. Very ceremonious either for his own sake or for mine-- +Perhaps for both. + +So I am in expectation of seeing within this half-hour, the noble +Clementina's future--Ah Lucy! + +The compliment, you see, is to Mr. Reeves--Shall I stay above, and see if +he will ask for me? He owes me something for the emotion he gave me in +Lord L----'s library. Very little of him since have I seen. + +'Honour forbids me,' said he, then: 'Yet honour bids me.--But I cannot be +ungenerous, selfish.'--These words are still in my ear.--What could he +mean by them?--Honour forbids me--What! to explain himself? He had been +telling me a tender tale: he had ended it. What did honour forbid him to +do?--Yet honour bids me! Why then did he not follow the dictates of +honour? + +But I cannot be unjust:--To Clementina he means. Who wished him to be +so?--Unjust! I hope not. It is a diminution to your glory, Sir Charles +Grandison, to have the word unjust, in this way of speaking, in your +thoughts! As if a good man had lain under a temptation to be unjust; and +had but just recollected himself. + +'I cannot be ungenerous.' To the noble lady, I suppose? He must take +compassion on her. And did he think himself under an obligation to my +forwardness to make this declaration to me, as to one who wished him to +be ungenerous to such a lady for my sake!--I cannot bear the thought of +this. Is it not as if he had said, 'Fond Harriet, I see what you expect +from me--But I must have compassion for, I cannot be ungenerous to, +Clementina!'--But, what a poor word is compassion! Noble Clementina! I +grieve for you, though the man be indeed a generous man!--O defend me, my +better genius, from wanting the compassion even of a Sir Charles +Grandison! + +But what means he by the word selfish! He cannot be selfish!--I +comprehend not the meaning of this word--Clementina has a very high +fortune--Harriet but a very middling one. He cannot be unjust, +ungenerous to Clementina--Nor yet selfish--This word confounds me, from a +man that says nothing at random! + +Well, but breakfast-time is come, while I am busy in self-debatings. I +will go down, that I may not seem to affect parade. I will endeavour to +see with indifference, him that we have all been admiring and studying +for this last fortnight, in such a variety of lights. The christian: the +hero: the friend:--Ah, Lucy! the lover of Clementina: the generous +kinsman of Lord W----: the modest and delicate benefactor of the +Mansfields: the free, gay, raillier of Lady Beauchamp; and, in her, of +all our sex's foibles! + +But he is come! While I am prating to you with my pen, he is come--Why, +Lucy, would you detain me?--Now must the fool go down in a kind of hurry: +Yet stay till she is sent for.--And that is now. + + + +LETTER XI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION + + +O Lucy, I have such a conversation to relate to you!--But let me lead to +it. + +Sir Charles met me at the opening of the door. He was all himself. Such +an unaffected modesty and politeness; yet such an ease and freedom! + +I thought, by his address, that he would have taken my hand; and both +hands were so emulatively passive--How does he manage it to be so free in +a first address, yet so respectful, that a princess could not blame him! + +After breakfast, my cousins being sent for out to attend Sir John +Allestree and his Niece, Sir Charles and I were left alone: and then, +with an air equally solemn and free, he addressed himself to me. + +The last time I had the honour of being alone with my good Miss Byron, I +told her a very tender tale. I was sure it would raise in such a heart +as hers generous compassion for the noblest lady on the continent; and I +presumed, as my difficulties were not owing either to rashness or +indiscretion, that she would also pity the relater. + +The story did indeed affect you; yet, for my own sake, as well as yours, +I referred you to Dr. Bartlett, for the particulars of some parts of it, +upon which I could not expatiate. + +The doctor, madam, has let me know the particulars which he communicated +to you. I remember with pain the pain I gave to your generous heart in +Lord L----'s study. I am sure you must have suffered still more from the +same compassionate goodness on the communications he made you. May I, +madam, however, add a few particulars to the same subject, which he then +could not give you? Now you have been let into so considerable a part of +my story, I am desirous to acquaint you, and that rather than any woman +in the world, with all that I know myself of this arduous affair. + +He ceased speaking. I was in tremors. Sir, sir--The story, I must own, +is a most affecting one. How much is the unhappy lady to be pitied! You +will do me honour in acquainting me with further particulars of it. + +Dr. Bartlett has told you, madam, that the Bishop of Nocera, second +brother to Lady Clementina, has very lately written to me, requesting +that I will make one more visit to Bologna--I have the letter. You read +Italian, madam. Shall I--Or will you--He held it to me. + +I took it. These, Lucy, are the contents. + +'The bishop acquaints him with the very melancholy way they are in. The +father and mother declining in their healths. Signor Jeronymo worse than +when Sir Charles left them. His sister also declining in her health: yet +earnest still to see him. + +'He says, that she is at present at Urbino; but is soon to go to Naples +to the general's. He urges him to make them one visit more; yet owns, +that his family are not unanimous in the request: but that he and Father +Marescotti, and the marchioness, are extremely earnest that this +indulgence should be granted to the wishes of his dear sister. + +'He offers to meet him, at his own appointment, and conduct him to +Bologna; where, he tells him, his presence will rejoice every heart, and +procure an unanimous consent to the interview so much desired: and says, +that if this measure, which he is sorry he has so long withstood, answers +not his hopes, he will advise the shutting up of their Clementina in a +nunnery, or to consign her to private hands, where she shall be treated +kindly, but as persons in her unhappy circumstances are accustomed to be +treated.' + +Sir Charles then shewed me a letter from Signor Jeronymo; in which he +acquaints him with the dangerous way he is in. He tells him, 'That his +life is a burden to him. He wishes it was brought to its period. He +does not think himself in skilful hands. He complains most of the wound +which is in his hip-joint; and which has hitherto baffled the art both of +the Italian and French surgeons who have been consulted. He wishes, that +himself and Sir Charles had been of one country, he says, since the +greatest felicity he now has to wish for, is to yield up his life to the +Giver of it, in the arms of his Grandison.' + +He mentions not one word in this melancholy letter of his unhappy sister: +which Sir Charles accounted for, by supposing, that she not being at +Bologna, they kept from him, in his deplorable way, everything relating +to her, that was likely to disturb him. He then read part of a letter +written in English, by the admired Mrs. Beaumont; some of the contents +of which were, as you shall hear, extremely affecting. + +'Mrs. Beaumont gives him in it an account of the situation of the unhappy +young lady; and excuses herself for not having done it before, in answer +to his request, by reason of an indisposition under which she had for +some time laboured, which had hindered her from making the necessary +inquiries. + +'She mentions, that the lady had received no benefit from her journeyings +from place to place; and from her voyage from Leghorn to Naples, and back +again; and blames her attendants, who, to quiet her, unknown to their +principals, for some time, kept her in expectation of seeing her +Chevalier, at the end of each; for her more prudent Camilla, she says, +had been hindered by illness from attending her, in several of the +excursions. + +'They had a second time, at her own request, put her into a nunnery. She +at first was so sedate in it as gave them hopes: but the novelty going +off, and one of the sisters, to try her, having officiously asked her to +go with her into the parlour, where she said, she would be allowed to +converse through the grate with a certain English gentleman, her +impatience, on her disappointment, made her more ungovernable than they +had ever known her; for she had been for two hours before meditating what +she would say to him. + +'For a week together, she was vehemently intent upon being allowed to +visit England; and had engaged her cousins, Sebastiano and Juliano, to +promise to escort her thither, if she could obtain leave. + +'Her mother brought her off this when nobody else could, only by +entreating her, for her sake, never to think of it more. + +'The marchioness then, encouraged by this instance of her obedience, took +her under her own care: but the young lady going on from flight to +slight; and the way she was in visibly affecting the health of her +indulgent mother; a doctor was found, who was absolutely of opinion, that +nothing but harsh methods would avail: and in this advice Lady Sforza, +and her daughter Laurana, and the general, concurring, she was told, that +she must prepare to go to Milan. She was so earnest to be excused from +going thither, and to be permitted to go to Florence to Mrs. Beaumont, +that they gave way to her entreaties; and the marquis himself, +accompanying her to Florence, prevailed on Mrs. Beaumont to take her +under her care. + +'With her she staid three weeks: she was tolerably sedate in that space +of time; but most so, when she was talking of England, and of the +Chevalier Grandison, and his sisters, with whom she wished to be +acquainted. She delighted to speak English, and to talk of the +tenderness and goodness of her tutor; and of what he said to her, upon +such and such a subject. + +'At the three weeks end, the general made her a visit, in company of Lady +Sforza; and her talk being all on this subject, they were both highly +displeased; and hinted, that she was too much indulged in it; and, +unhappily, she repeating some tender passages that passed in the +interview her mother had permitted her to hold with the Chevalier, the +general would have it, that Mr. Grandison had designedly, from the first, +sought to give himself consequence with her; and expressed himself, on +the occasion, with great violence against him. + +'He carried his displeasure to extremity, and obliged her to go away with +his aunt and him that very day, to her great regret; and as much to the +regret of Mrs. Beaumont, and of the ladies her friends; who tenderly +loved the innocent visionary, as sometimes they called her. And Mrs. +Beaumont is sure, that the gentle treatment she met with from them, would +in time, though perhaps slowly, have greatly helped her.' + +Mrs. Beaumont then gives an account of the harsh treatment the poor young +lady met with. + +Sir Charles Grandison would have stopt reading here. He said, he could +not read it to me, without such a change of voice, as would add to my +pain, as well as to his own. + +Tears often stole down my cheeks, when I read the letters of the bishop +and Signor Jeronymo, and as Sir Charles read a part of Mrs. Beaumont's +letter: and I doubted not but what was to follow would make them flow. +Yet, I said, Be pleased, sir, to let me read on. I am not a stranger to +distress. I can pity others, or I should not deserve pity myself. + +He pointed to the place; and withdrew to the window. + +Mrs. Beaumont says, 'That the poor mother was prevailed upon to resign +her child wholly to the management of Lady Sforza, and her daughter +Laurana, who took her with them to their palace in Milan. + +'The tender parent, however, besought them to spare all unnecessary +severity; which they promised: but Laurana objected to Camilla's +attendance. She was thought too indulgent; and her servant Laura, as a +more manageable person, was taken in her place.' And O how cruelly, as +you shall hear, did they treat her! + +Father Marescotti, being obliged to visit a dying relation at Milan, was +desired by the marchioness to inform himself of the way her beloved +daughter was in, and of the methods taken with her, Lady Laurana having, +in her letters, boasted of both. The good Father acquainted Mrs. +Beaumont with the following particulars: + +'He was surprised to find a difficulty made of his seeing the lady: but, +insisting on it, he found her to be wholly spiritless, and in terror; +afraid to speak, afraid to look, before her cousin Laurana; yet seeming +to want to complain to him. He took notice of this to Laurana--O Father, +said she, we are in the right way, I assure you: when we had her first, +her chevalier, and an interview with him, were ever in her mouth; but now +she is in such order, that she never speaks a word of him. But what, +asked the compassionate Father, must she have suffered, to be brought to +this?--Don't you, Father, trouble yourself about that, replied the cruel +Laurana: the doctors have given their opinion, that some severity was +necessary. It is all for her good. + +'The poor lady expressed herself to him, with earnestness, after the +veil; a subject on which, it seems, they indulged her; urging, that the +only way to secure her health of mind, if it could be restored, was to +yield to her wishes. Lady Sforza said, that it was not a point that she +herself would press; but it was her opinion, that her family sinned in +opposing a divine dedication; and, perhaps, their daughter's malady might +be a judgment upon them for it.' + +The father, in his letter to Mrs. Beaumont, ascribes to Lady Sforza +self-interested motives for her conduct; to Laurana, envy, on account of +Lady Clementina's superior qualities: but nobody, he says, till now, +doubted Laurana's love of her.' + +Father Marescotti then gives a shocking instance of the barbarous +Laurana's treatment of the noble sufferer--All for her good--Wretch! how +my heart rises against her! Her servant Laura, under pretence of +confessing to her Bologna father, in tears, acquainted him with it. It +was perpetrated but the day before. + +'When any severity was to be exercised upon the unhappy lady, Laura was +always shut out of her apartment. Her lady had said something that she +was to be chidden for. Lady Sforza, who was not altogether so severe as +her daughter, was not at home. Laura listened in tears: she heard +Laurana in great wrath with Lady Clementina, and threaten her--and her +young lady break out to this effect--What have I done to you, Laurana, to +be so used?--You are not the cousin Laurana you used to be! You know I +am not able to help myself: why do you call me crazy, and frantic, +Laurana? [Vile upbraider, Lucy!] If the Almighty has laid his hand upon +me, should I not be pitied?-- + +'It is all for your good! It is all for your good, Clementina! You +could not always have spoken so sensibly, cousin. + +'Cruel Laurana! You loved me once! I have no mother, as you have. My +mother was a good mother: but she is gone! Or I am gone, I know not +which! + +'She threatened her then with the strait waistcoat, a punishment which +the unhappy lady was always greatly terrified at. Laura heard her beg +and pray; but, Laurana coming out, she was forced to retire. + +'The poor young lady apprehending her cruel cousin's return with the +threatened waistcoat, and with the woman that used to be brought in when +they were disposed to terrify her, went down and hid herself under a +stair-case, where she was soon discovered by her clothes, which she had +not been careful to draw in after her.' + +O, Lucy! how I wept! How insupportable to me, said Sir Charles, would +have been my reflections, had my conscience told me, that I had been the +wilful cause of the noble Clementina's calamity! + +After I had a little recovered, I read to myself the next paragraph, +which related, 'that the cruel Laurana dragged the sweet sufferer by her +gown, from her hiding-place, inveighing against her, threatening her: +she, all patient, resigned, her hands crossed on her bosom, praying for +ercy, not by speech, but by her eyes, which, however, wept not: and +causing her to be carried up to her chamber, there punished her with the +strait waistcoat, as she had threatened. + +'Father Marescotti was greatly affected with Laura's relation, as well as +with what he had himself observed: but on his return to Bologna, dreading +to acquaint her mother, for her own sake, with the treatment her +Clementina met with, he only said, he did not quite approve of it, and +advised her not to oppose the young lady's being brought home, if the +bishop and the general came into it: but he laid the whole matter before +the bishop, who wrote to the general to join with him out of hand, to +release their sister from her present bondage: and the general meeting +the bishop on a set day at Milan, for that purpose, the lady was +accordingly released. + +'A breach ensued upon it, with Lady Sforza and her daughter; who would +have it, that Clementina was much better for their management. They had +by terror broke her spirit, and her passiveness was reckoned upon as an +indication of amendment. + +'The marchioness being much indisposed, the young lady, attended by her +Camilla, was carried to Naples; where it is supposed she now is. Poor +young lady, how has she been hurried about!--But who can think of her +cousin Laurana without extreme indignation? + +'Mrs. Beaumont writes, that the bishop would fain have prevailed upon his +brother, the general, to join with him in an invitation to Sir Charles +Grandison to come over, as a last expedient, before they locked her up +either in a nunnery, or in some private house: but the general would by +no means come into it. + +'He asked, What was proposed to be the end of Sir Charles's visit, were +all that was wished from it to follow, in his sister's restored mind?--He +never, he said, would give his consent that she should be the wife of an +English Protestant. + +'The bishop declared, that he was far from wishing her to be so: but he +was for leaving that to after-consideration. Could they but restore his +sister to her reason, that reason, co-operating with her principles, +might answer all their hopes. + +'He might try his expedient, the general said, with all his heart: but he +looked upon the Chevalier Grandison to be a man of art; and he was sure +he must have entangled his sister by methods imperceptible to her, and to +them; but yet more efficacious to his ends, than an open declaration. +Had he not, he asked, found means to fascinate Olivia, and as many women +as he came into company with?--For his part, he loved not the Chevalier. +He had forced him by his intrepidity to be civil to him: but forced +civility was but a temporary one. It was his way to judge of causes by +the effects: and this he knew, that he had lost a sister, who would have +been a jewel in the crown of a prince; and would not be answerable for +consequences, if he and Sir Charles Grandison were once more to meet, be +it where it would. + +'Father Marescotti, however, joining, as the bishop writes, with him, and +the marchioness, in a desire to try this expedient; and being sure that +the marquis and Signor Jeronymo would not be averse to it, he took a +resolution to write over to him, as has been related.' + +This, Lucy, is the state of the unhappy case, as briefly and as clearly +as my memory will serve to give it. And what a rememberer, if I may make +a word, is the heart!--Not a circumstance escapes it. + +And now it remained for me to know of Sir Charles what answer he had +returned. + +Was not my situation critical, my dear? Had Sir Charles asked my +opinion, before he had taken his resolutions, I should have given it with +my whole heart, that he should fly to the comfort of the poor lady. But +then he would have shewn a suspense unworthy of Clementina; and a +compliment to me; which a good man, so circumstanced, ought not to make. + +My regard for him (yet what a poor affected word is regard!) was, +nevertheless, as strong as ever. Generosity, or rather justice, to +Clementina, and that so often avowed regard to him, pulled my heart two +ways.--I wanted to consider with myself for a few moments: I was desirous +to clear the conduct that I was to shew on this trying occasion, as well +of precipitance as of affectation; and my cousin Reeves just then coming +in for something she wanted, I took the opportunity to walk to the other +end of the room; and while a short complimental discourse passed between +them, 'Harriet Byron,' said I to myself, 'be not mean. Hast thou not the +example of a Clementina before thee? Her religion and her love, +combating together, have overturned the noble creature's reason. Tho +canst not be called to such a trial: but canst thou not shew, that if +thou wert, thou couldst have acted greatly, if not so greatly?--Sir +Charles Grandison is just: he ought to prefer to thee the excellent +Clementina. Priority of claim, compassion for the noble sufferer, merits +so superior!--I love him for his merits: shall I not love merits, nearly +as great, in one of my own sex? The struggle will cost thee something: +but go down, and try to be above thyself. Banished to thy retirement, to +thy pillow, thought I, be all the girl. Often have I contended for the +dignity of my sex; let me now be an example to myself, and not unworthy +in my own eyes (when I come to reflect) of an union, could it have been +effected, with a man whom a Clementina looked up to with hope.' + +My cousin being withdrawn, and Sir Charles approaching me, I attempted to +assume a dignity of aspect, without pride; and I spoke, while spirit was +high in me, and to keep myself up to it--My heart bleeds, sir, for the +distresses of your Clementina: [Yes, Lucy, I said your Clementina:] +beyond expression I admire the greatness of her behaviour; and most +sincerely lament her distresses. What, that is in the power of man, +cannot Sir Charles Grandison do? You have honoured me, sir, with the +title of sister. In the tenderness of that relation, permit me to say, +that I dread the effects of the general's petulance: I feel next for you +the pain that it must give to your humane heart to be once more +personally present to the woes of the inimitable Clementina: but I am +sure you did not hesitate a moment about leaving all your friends here in +England, and resolving to hasten over to try, at least, what can be done +for the noble sufferer. + +Had he praised me highly for this my address to him, it would have +looked, such was the situation on both sides, as if he had thought this +disinterested behaviour in me, an extraordinary piece of magnanimity and +self-denial; and, of consequence, as if he had supposed I had views upon +him, which he wondered I could give up. His is the most delicate of +human minds. + +He led me to my seat, and taking his by me, still holding my passive +hand--Ever since I have had the honour of Miss Byron's acquaintance, I +have considered her as one of the most excellent of women. My heart +demands alliance with hers, and hopes to be allowed its claim; though +such are the delicacies of situation, that I scarcely dare to trust +myself to speak upon the subject. From the first, I called Miss Byron my +sister; but she is more to me than the dearest sister; and there is a +more tender friendship that I aspire to hold with her, whatever may be +the accidents, on either side, to bar a further wish: and this I must +hope, that she will not deny me, so long as it shall be consistent with +her other attachments. + +He paused. I made an effort to speak: but speech was denied me. My +face, as I felt, glowed like the fire before me. + +My heart, resumed he, is ever on my lips. It is tortured when I cannot +speak all that is in it. Professions I am not accustomed to make. As I +am not conscious of being unworthy of your friendship, I will suppose it; +and further talk to you of my affairs and engagements, as that tender +friendship may warrant. + +Sir, you do me honour, was all I could say. + +I had a letter from the faithful Camilla. I hold not a correspondence +with her: but the treatment that her young lady met with, of which she +had got some general intimations, and some words that the bishop said to +her, which expressed his wishes, that I would make them one more visit at +Bologna, urged her to write, begging of me, for Heaven's sake, to go +over. But unless one of the family had written to me, and by consent of +others of it, what hope had I of a welcome, after I had been as often +refused, as I had requested while I was in Italy, to be admitted to the +presence of the lady, who was so desirous of one interview more?-- +Especially, as Mrs. Beaumont gave me no encouragement to go, but the +contrary, from what she observed of the inclinations of the family. + +Mrs. Beaumont is still of opinion, as in the conclusion of the letter +before you, that I should not go, unless the general and the marquis join +their requests to those of the marchioness, the bishop, and Father +Marescotti. But I had no sooner perused the bishop's letter, than I +wrote, that I would most cheerfully comply with his wishes: but that I +should be glad that I might not be under any obligation to go further +than Bologna; where I might have the happiness to attend my Jeronymo, as +well as his sister. + +I had a little twitch at my heart, Lucy. I was sorry for it: but my +judgment was entirely with him. + +And now, madam, you will wonder, that you see not any preparations for my +departure. All is prepared: I only wait for the company of one +gentleman, who is settling his affairs with all expedition to go with me. +He is an able, a skilful surgeon, who has had great practice abroad, and +in the armies: and having acquired an easy fortune, is come to settle in +his native country. My Jeronymo expresses himself dissatisfied with his +surgeons. If Mr. LOWTHER can be of service to him, how happy shall I +think myself! And if my presence can be a means to restore the noble +Clementina--But how dare I hope it?--And yet I am persuaded, that in her +case, and with such a temper of mind, (unused to hardship and opposition +as she had been,) the only way to recover her, would have been by +complying with her in every thing that her heart or head was earnestly +set upon: for what controul was necessary to a young lady, who never, +even in the height of her malady, uttered a wish or thought that was +contrary to her duty either to God, or her parents; nor yet to the honour +of her name; and, allow me, madam, to say, to the pride of her sex? + +I am under an obligation to go to Paris, proceeded he, from the will of +my late friend Mr. Danby. I shall stop there for a day or two only, in +order to put things in a way for my last hand, on my return from Italy. + +When I am in Italy, I shall, perhaps, be enabled to adjust two or three +accounts that stand out, in relation to the affairs of my ward. + +This day, at dinner, I shall see Mrs. Oldham, and her sons; and in the +afternoon, at tea, Mrs. O'Hara, and her husband, and Captain Salmonet. + +To-morrow, I hope for the honour of your company, madam, and Mr. and Mrs. +Reeves's at dinner; and be so good as to engage them for the rest of the +day. You must not deny me; because I shall want your influence upon +Charlotte, to make her fix Lord G----'s happy day, that I may be able to +see their hands united before I set out; as my return will be +uncertain-- + +Ah, Lucy! more twitches just then!-- + +Thursday next is the day fixed for the triple marriage of the Danby's. I +have promised to give Miss Danby to Mr. Galliard, and to dine with them +and their friends at Enfield. + +If I can see my Lord W---- and Charlotte happy before I go, I shall be +highly gratified. + +It is another of my wishes, to see my friend Beauchamp in England first, +and to leave him in possession of his father's love, and of his +mother-in-law's civility. Dr. Bartlett and he will be happy in each +other. I shall correspond with the doctor. He greatly admires you, +madam, and will communicate to you all you shall think worthy of your +notice, relating to the proceedings of a man who will always think +himself honoured by your inquiries after him. + +Ah, Lucy! Sir Charles Grandison then sighed. He seemed to look more +than he spoke. I will not promise for my heart, if he treats me with +more than the tenderness of friendship: if he gives me room to think that +he wishes--But what can he wish? He ought to be, he must be, +Clementina's: and I will endeavour to make myself happy, if I can +maintain the second place in his friendship: and when he offers me this, +shall I, Lucy, be so little as to be displeased with the man, who cannot +be to me all that I had once hoped he could be?--No!--He shall be the +same glorious creature in my eyes; I will admire his goodness of heart, +and greatness of mind; and I will think him entitled to my utmost +gratitude for the protection he gave me from a man of violence, and for +the kindness he has already shewn me. Is not friendship the basis of my +love? And does he not tender me that? + +Nevertheless, at the time, do what I could, I found a tear ready to +start. My heart was very untoward, Lucy; and I was guilty of a little +female turn. When I found the twinkling of my eyes would not disperse +the too ready drop, and felt it stealing down my cheek, I wiped it off-- +The poor Emily, said I--She will be grieved at parting with you. Emily +loves her guardian. + +And I love my ward. I once had a thought, madam, of begging your +protection of Emily: but as I have two sisters, I think she will be happy +under their wings, and in the protection of my good Lord L---- and the +rather, as I have no doubt of overcoming her unhappy mother, by making +her husband's interest a guaranty for her tolerable, if not good, +behaviour to her child. + +I was glad to carry my thoughts out of myself, as I may say, and from my +own concerns. We all, sir, said I, look upon Mr. Beauchamp as a +future-- + +Husband for Emily, madam, interrupted he?--It must not be at my motion. +My friend shall be entitled to share with me my whole estate; but I will +never seek to lead the choice of my WARD. Let Emily, some time hence, +find out the husband she can be happy with; Beauchamp the wife he can +love: Emily, if I can help it, shall not be the wife of any man's +convenience. Beauchamp is nice, and I will be as nice for my WARD. And +the more so, as I hope she herself wants not delicacy. There is a +cruelty in persuasion, where the heart rejects the person proposed, +whether the urger be parent or guardian. + +Lord bless me, thought I, what a man is this! + +Do you expect Mr. Beauchamp soon, sir? + +Every day, madam. + +And is it possible, sir, that you can bring all these things to bear +before you leave England, and go so soon? + +I fear nothing but Charlotte's whimsies. Have you, madam, any reason to +apprehend that she is averse to an alliance with Lord G----? His father +and aunt are very importunate for an early celebration. + +None at all, sir. + +Then I shall depend much upon yours, and Lord and Lady L----'s influence +over her. + +He besought my excuse for detaining my attention so long. Upon his +motion to go, my two cousins came in. He took even a solemn leave of me, +and a very respectful one of them. + +I had kept up my spirits to their utmost stretch: I besought my cousins +to excuse me for a few minutes. His departure from me was too solemn; +and I hurried up to my closet; and after a few involuntary sobs, a flood +of tears relieved me. I besought, on my knees, peace to the disturbed +mind of the excellent Clementina, calmness and resignation to my own, and +safety to Sir Charles. And then, drying my eyes at the glass, I went +down stairs to my cousins; and on their inquiries (with looks of deep +concern) after the occasion of my red eyes, I said, All is over! All is +over! my dear cousins. I cannot blame him: he is all that is noble and +good--I can say no more just now. The particulars you shall have from my +pen. + +I went up stairs to write: and except for one half hour at dinner, and +another at tea, I stopt not till I had done. + +And here, quite tired, uneasy, vexed with myself, yet hardly knowing why, +I lay down my pen.--Take what I have written, cousin Reeves: if you can +read it, do: and then dispatch it to my Lucy. + +But, on second thoughts, I will shew it to the two ladies, and Lord +L----, before it is sent away. They will be curious to know what passed +in a conversation, where the critical circumstances both of us were in, +required a delicacy which I am not sure was so well observed on my side, +as on his. + +I shall, I know, have their pity: but let nobody who pities not the noble +Clementina shew any for + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY NIGHT, APRIL 4. + + + +Miss Grandison came to me just as we had supped. She longed, she said, +to see me; but was prevented coming before, and desired to know what had +passed between her brother and me this morning. I gave her the letter, +which I had but a little while before concluded. He had owned, she said, +that he had breakfasted with me, and spoke of me to her, and Lord and +Lady L---- with an ardor, that gave them pleasure. She put my letter +into her bosom. I may, I hope, Harriet--If you please, madam, said I. + +If you please, madam, repeated she; and with that do-lo-rous accent too, +my Harriet!--My sister and I have been in tears this morning: Lord L---- +had much ado to forbear. Sir Charles will soon leave us. + +It can't be helped, Charlotte. Did you dine to-day in St. +James's-square? + +No, indeed!--My brother had a certain tribe with him; and the woman also. +It is very difficult, I believe, Harriet, for good people to forbear +doing sometimes more than goodness requires of them. + +Could you not, Charlotte, have sat at table with them for one hour or +two? + +My brother did not ask me. He did not expect it. He gives every body +their choice, you know. He told me last night who were to dine with him +to-day, and supposed I would choose to dine with Lady L----, or with you, +he was so free as to say. + +He did us an honour, which you thought too great a one. But if he had +asked you, Charlotte-- + +Then I should have bridled. Indeed, I asked him, if he did not over-do +it? + +What was his answer? + +Perhaps he might--But I, said he, may never see Mrs. Oldham again. I +want to inform myself of her future intentions, with a view (over-do it +again, Charlotte!) to make her easy and happy for life. Her children are +in the world. I want to give her a credit that will make her remembered +by them, as they grow up, with duty. I hope I am superior to forms. She +is conscious. I can pity her. She is a gentlewoman; and entitled to a +place at any man's table to whom she never was a servant. She never was +mine. + +And what, Miss Grandison, could you say in answer? asked I. + +What!--Why I put up my lip. + +Ungracious girl! + +I can't help it. That may become a man to do in such cases as this, that +would not a woman. + +Sir Charles wants not delicacy, my dear, said I. + +He must suppose, that I should have sat swelling, and been reserved: he +was right not to ask me--So be quiet, Harriet--And yet, perhaps, you +would be as tame to a husband's mistress, as you seem favourable to a +father's. + +She then put on one of her arch looks-- + +The cases differ, Charlotte--But do you know what passed between the +generous man, and the mortified woman and her children; mortified as they +must be by his goodness? + +Yes, yes; I had curiosity enough to ask Dr. Bartlett about it all. + +Pray, Charlotte-- + +Dr. Bartlett is favourable to every body, sinners as well as saints--He +began with praising the modesty of her dress, the humility of her +behaviour: he said, that she trembled and looked down, till she was +reassured by Sir Charles. Such creatures have all their tricks, Harriet. + +You, Charlotte, are not favourable to sinners, and hardly to saints. But +pray proceed. + +Why, he re-assured the woman, as I told you. And then proceeded to ask +many questions of the elder Oldham--I pitied that young fellow--to have a +mother in his eye, whose very tenderness to the young ones kept alive the +sense of her guilt. And yet what would she have been, had she not been +doubly tender to the innocents, who were born to shame from her fault? +The young man acknowledged a military genius; and Sir Charles told him, +that he would, on his return from a journey he was going to take, +consider whether he could not do him service in the way he chose. He +gave him, it seems, a brief lecture on what he should aim to be, and what +avoid, to qualify himself for a man of true honour; and spoke very +handsomely of such gentlemen of the army as are real gentlemen. The +young fellow, continued Miss Grandison, may look upon himself to be as +good as provided for, since my brother never gives the most distant hope +that is not followed by absolute certainty, the first opportunity, not +that offers, but which he can make. + +He took great notice of the little boys. He dilated their hearts, and +set them a prating; and was pleased with their prate. The doctor, who +had never seen him before in the company of children, applauded him for +his vivacity, and condescending talk to them. The tenderest father in +the world, he said, could not have behaved more tenderly, or shewed +himself more delighted with his own children, than he did with those +brats of Mrs. Oldham. + +Ah, Charlotte! And is it out of doubt, that you are the daughter of Lady +Grandison, and sister of Sir Charles Grandison?--Well, but I believe you +are--Some children take after the father, some after the mother!--Forgive +me, my dear. + +But I won't. I have a great mind to quarrel with you, Harriet. + +Pray don't; because I could neither help, nor can be sorry for, what I +said. But pray proceed. + +Why, he made presents to the children. I don't know what they were; nor +could the doctor tell me. I suppose very handsome ones; for he has the +spirit of a prince. He inquired very particularly after the circumstances +of the mother; and was more kind to her than many people would be to +their own mothers.--He can account for this, I suppose--though I cannot. +The woman, it is true, is of a good family, and so forth: but that +enhances her crime. Natural children abound in the present age. Keeping +is fashionable. Good men should not countenance such wretches.--But my +brother and you are charitable creatures!--With all my heart, child. +Virtue, however, has at least as much to say on one side of the question +as on the other. + +When the poor children are in the world, as your brother said--When the +poor women are penitents, true penitents--Your brother's treatment of +Mrs. Giffard was different. He is in both instances an imitator of the +Almighty; a humbler of the impenitent, and an encourager of those who +repent. + +Well, well; he is undoubtedly a good sort of young man; and, Harriet, you +are a good sort of young woman. Where much is given, much is required: +but I have not given me such a large quantity of charity, as either of +you may boast: and how can I help it?--But, however, the woman went away +blessing and praising him; and that, the doctor says, more with her eyes +than she was able to do in words. The elder youth departed in rapturous +reverence: the children hung about his knees, on theirs. The doctor will +have it, that it was without bidding--Perhaps so--He raised them by turns +to his arms, and kissed them.--Why, Harriet! your eyes glisten, child. +They would have run over, I suppose, had you been there! Is it, that +your heart is weakened with your present situation? I hope not. No, you +are a good creature! And I see that the mention of a behaviour greatly +generous, however slightly made, will have its force upon a heart so +truly benevolent as yours. You must be Lady Grandison, my dear: indeed +you must.--Well, but I must be gone. You dine with us to-morrow, my +brother says? + +He did ask me; and desired me to engage my cousins. But he repeated not +the invitation when he went away. + +He depends upon your coming: and so do we. He is to talk to me before +you, it seems: I can't tell about what: but by his hurrying on every +thing, it is plain he is preparing to leave us. + +He is, madam. + +'He is, madam!' And with that dejected air, and mendicant voice--Speak +up like a woman!--The sooner he sets out, if he must go, the sooner he +will return. Come, come, Harriet, you shall be Lady Grandison still--Ah! +and that sigh too! These love-sick folks have a language that nobody +else can talk to them in: and then she affectedly sighed--Is that right, +Harriet?--She sighed again--No, it is not: I never knew what a sigh was, +but when my father vexed my sister; and that was more for fear he should +one day be as cruel to me, than for her sake. We can be very generous +for others, Harriet, when we apprehend that one day we may want the same +pity ourselves. Our best passions, my dear, have their mixtures of +self-love. + +You have drawn a picture of human nature, Charlotte, that I don't like. + +It is a likeness for all that. + +She arose, snatched my hand, hurried to the door--Be with us, Harriet, +and cousin Reeves, and cousin Reeves, as soon as you can to-morrow. I +want to talk to you, my dear (to me) of an hundred thousand things before +dinner. Remember we dine early. + +Away she fluttered--Happy Miss Grandison! What charming spirits she has! + + + +LETTER XIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5. + + +Miss Jervois came to me this morning by six; impatient, as she said, to +communicate good news to me. I was in my closet writing. I could not +sleep. + +I have seen my mother, said she; and we are good friends. Was she ever +unkind to me, madam? + +Dear creature! said I, and clasped her to my bosom, you are a sweet girl! +Oblige me with the particulars. + +Let me, Lucy, give you, as near as I can recollect, the amiable young +creature's words and actions on this occasion. + +Sit down, my love, said I.--What! When I am talking of a reconciled +mother! And to dear Miss Byron!--No, indeed. + +She often held out one open hand, while the forefinger of the other, in +full action, patted it; as at other times both were spread, with pretty +wonder and delight: and thus she began:-- + +Why, you must know, it was about six o'clock yesterday afternoon, that my +mother and her husband, and Captain Salmonet, came. I was told of their +visit but two hours before: and when the coach stopped, and I at the +window saw them alight, I thought I should have fainted away. I would +have given half I was worth in the world to have been an hundred miles +off. + +Dr. Bartlett was there, and received them. My guardian was unexpectedly +engaged in answering a letter sent him by Lord W----, for which a +gentleman waited: but they had not been there a quarter of an hour, when +he entered, and made apologies to them in his usual gracious manner. +Never, the doctor says, did any body look so respectful as the major and +the captain; and they would have made apologies to my guardian, for their +last behaviour to him; but he would not let them. And my mother, the +doctor says, from the very first, behaved prettily. + +The moment she asked for me, my guardian himself condescended to come up +to me, and took my hand--Was not that very good of him?--My dear, said +he, as he led me down stairs, (and spoke so kindly,) don't tremble so: am +I not with you?--Your mother is very calm and composed: you must ask her +blessing. I shall ease your tender heart of every pang. I shall hint to +you what to do, and how to behave to the gentlemen, as occasions arise. + +He had no sooner said the words, but the drawing-room door gave way to +his hand, and I was in the room with him. + +Down on my knees dropt I--as I now do to you: but I could not speak. +Thus I did. [And she kissed my hand, and bowed her face upon it.] And +my mother raised me--You must raise me, madam--Yes, just so--And she +kissed me too, and wept on my neck; and called me pretty names; and +encouraged me, and said she loved me, as she loved her own soul--And I +was encouraged. + +My guardian then, with the air and manner of a gracious prince, took my +hand, and presented it first to the major, then to the captain; and they +each kissed my hand, and spoke in my praise, I can't tell how many fine +things. + +Major, said my guardian, when he presented me to him, you must excuse the +dear child's weakness of spirits: she wishes you all happiness on your +nuptials: she has let me know, that she is very desirous to do you +service for her mother's sake. + +The major swore by his soul, I was an angel!--Captain Salmonet said, +that, by his salvation, I was a charming young lady! + +My mother wept--O, Sir! said she to my guardian: and dropping down in a +chair by the window, not a word more could she speak. + +I ran to her, and clasped my arms about her. She wept the more: I wiped +her eyes with her own handkerchief: I told her, it went to my heart to +see her cry: I begged she would spare me this grief. + +She clasped her arms then about me, and kissed my cheek, and my forehead. +O, thought I, it is very good of you, my dear mother. + +Then came my guardian to us, and he kindly took my mother's hand, and +conducted her to the fire-side; and he led me, and placed me by her, at +the tea-table; and he made the major and the captain sit down by him: so +much graciousness in his countenance. O, madam! I shall be an idolater, +I am afraid. And he said, Emily, my dear, you will make tea for us. My +sister dined abroad, madam, to my mother.--Yes, sir, I will, said I: and +I was as lively as a bird. + +But before the servants came in, Let me tell you, madam, said he, what +Miss Jervois has proposed to me.--They were in silent expectation. + +She has desired that you, major, will accept from her, for your mutual +use, of an additional 100£. a year; which I shall order to be paid you +quarterly, during Mrs. O'Hara's life, not doubting but you will make her +as happy as it is in your power to make her. + +My mother bowed, coloured with gratitude, and looked obliged. + +And she begs of you, madam, turning to my mother, that you will accept, +as from the Major, another 100£. a year, for pin-money, which he, or +which you, madam, will draw upon me for; also quarterly, if you choose +not to trouble him to do it: for this 100£. a year must be appropriated +to your sole and separate use, madam; and not be subject to your +controul, Major O'Hara. + +Good God! sir! said the Major!--What a wretch was I, the last time I was +here!--There is no bearing of this! + +He got up, and went to the window: and the captain said, Blessed Jesu! +and something else, which I could not mind; for I was weeping like a +baby. + +What, sir! said my mother, 400£. a year! Do you mean so?--I do, madam-- +And, sir, to be so generously paid me my 100£. of it, as if I received it +not from my child, but from my husband!--Good God! How you overpower me, +sir! What shame, what remorse, do you strike into my heart! + +And my poor mother's tears ran down as fast as mine. + +O madam, said the dear girl to me, clasping her arms about me, how your +tender heart is touched!--It is well you were not there! + +Dr. Bartlett came in to tea. My guardian would not permit Antony, who +offered himself, to wait. Antony had been my own papa's servant, when my +mother was not so good. + +Nothing but blessings, nothing but looks and words of admiration and +gratitude, passed all the tea-time. How their hearts rejoiced, I +warrant!--Is it not a charming thing, madam, to make people's hearts +glad?--To be sure it is! How many hearts has my guardian rejoiced! You +must bid him be cross to me, or I shall not know what to do with myself! +--But then, if he was, I should only get by myself, and cry, and be angry +with myself, and think he could not be to blame. + +O my love, my Emily! said I, take care of your gratitude: that drew in +your true friend. + +Well, but how can it be helped, madam? Can a right heart be ungrateful? +--Dr. Bartlett says, There is no such thing as true happiness in this +life: and is it not better to be unhappy from good men and women, than +from bad?--Dear madam, why you have often made me unhappy, because of +your goodness to me; and because I knew, that I neither could deserve nor +return it. + +The dear prater went on--My guardian called me aside, when tea was over. +My Emily, said he, [I do love he should call me his Emily!--But all the +world is his Emily, I think,] Let me see what you will do with these two +notes; giving me two bank-notes of 25£. each.--Present pin-money and cash +may be wanted. We will suppose that your mother has been married a +quarter of a year. Her pin-money and the additional annuity may commence +from the 25th of December last. Let me, Emily, when they go away, see +the graceful manner in which you will dispose of the notes: and from Mr. +O'Hara's behaviour upon it, we shall observe whether he is a man with +whom your mother, if it be not her own fault, (now you have made it their +interest to be kind to each other,) may live well: but the motion be all +your own. + +How good this was! I could have kissed the hand that gave me the notes, +if I thought it would not have looked too free. + +I understand you, sir, said I. + +And when they went away, pouring out their very hearts in grateful joy, I +addressed myself to Mr. O'Hara. Sir, said I, it is proper that the +payment of the additional annuity should have a commencement. Let it be +from Christmas last. Accept of the first payment from my own hands--And +I gave him one 25£. note: and looking at my mother, with a look of duty, +for fear be should mistake, and discredit himself in the eyes of the +deepest discerner in the world, gave him the other. + +He looked upon first one, then upon the other note with surprise--And +then bowing to the ground to me, and to my guardian, he stept to my +mother, and presented them both to her. You, madam, said he, must speak: +I cannot as I ought: God send me with a whole heart out of this house! +He hurried out, and when he was in the hall, wiped his eyes, and sobbed +like a child, as one of the servants told my Anne. + +My mother looked upon one note as her husband had done, and upon the +other; and, lifting up her eyes, embraced me--And would have said +something to my guardian, but he prevented her, by saying--Emily will be +always dutiful to you, madam, and respectful to Mr. O'Hara: may you be +happy together! + +And he led her out--Was ever such a condescension! He led her out to her +husband, who, being a little recovered, was just about to give some money +to the servant, who was retiring from the offer.--Nobody, said my +guardian, graciously smiling, pays my servants but myself, Mr. O'Hara. +They are good people, and merit my favour. + +And he went to the very door with my mother. I could not. I ran back, +crying for joy, into the drawing-room, when they went out of it. I could +not bear myself. How could I, you know, madam?--Captain Salmonet all the +time wiped his eyes, shrugged his shoulders, lifted up his hands, and +cried out upon Jesu; and once or twice he crossed himself: but all the +time my guardian looked and acted, as if those actions and praises were +nothing to be proud of. + +When he came in to me, I arose, and threw myself at his feet; but could +only say, Thank you, sir, for your goodness to my mother. He raised me. +He sat down by me: See, child, (said he, and he took my hand: my heart +was sensible of the favour, and throbbed with joy,) what it is in the +power of people of fortune to do. You have a great one. Now your mother +is married, I have hopes of her. They will at least keep up appearances +to each other, and to the world. They neither of them want sense. You +have done an act of duty and benevolence both in one. The man who would +grudge them this additional 200£. a year out of your fortune, to make +your parent happy, shall not have my Emily--Shall he? + +Your Emily, your happy Emily, sir, has not, cannot have a heart that is +worth notice, if it be not implicitly guided by you.--This I said, madam: +and it is true. + +And did he not, said I, clasp his Emily to his generous bosom, when you +said so? + +No, madam; that would have been too great an honour: but he called me, +good child! and said, you shall never be put to pay me an implicit +regard: your own reason (and he called me child again) shall always be +the judge of my conduct to you, and direct your observances of my advice. +Something like this he said; but in a better manner than I can say it. + +He calls me oftener child, madam, than any thing else when we are alone +together; and is not quite so free, I think, at such times, in his +behaviour to me, (yet is vastly gracious, I don't know how,) as when we +are in company--Why is that? I am sure, I equally respect him, at one +time as at another--Do you think, madam, there is any thing in the +observation? Is there any reason for it?--I do love to study him, and to +find out the meaning of his very looks as well as words. Sir Charles +Grandison's heart is the book of heaven--May I not study it? + +Study it, my love! while you have an opportunity. But he will soon leave +us: he will soon leave England. + +So I fear: and I will love and pity the poor Clementina, whose heart is +so much wounded and oppressed. But my guardian shall be nobody's but +yours. I have prayed night and day, the first thing and the last thing, +ever since I have heard of Lady Clementina, that you, and nobody but you, +may be Lady Grandison: and I will continue my prayers.--But will you +forgive me: I always conclude them with praying, that you will both +consent to let the poor Emily live with you. + +Sweet girl! The poor Emily, said she?--I embraced her, and we mingled +tears, both our hearts full, each for the other; and each perhaps for +herself. + +She hurried away. I resumed my pen.--Run off what had passed, almost as +swift as thought. I quit it to prepare to attend my cousins to St. +James's-square. + + + +LETTER XIV + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY NIGHT, APRIL 5. + + +Miss Grandison, as I told you, took with her my letter of yesterday. As +soon as my cousin Reeves and I entered Sir Charles's house, the two +sisters conducted us into the drawing-room adjoining to the +dining-parlour, and congratulated me on the high compliment their brother +had made me, though in preference to themselves, and his +communicativeness and tender behaviour to me. Lord L---- joined us, and +he, having read the letter, congratulated me also--On what, Lucy?--Why on +the possibility, that if the unhappy Clementina should die; or if she +should be buried for life in a nunnery; or if she should be otherwise +disposed of; why then, that your Harriet may have room given her to hope +for a civil husband in Sir Charles Grandison, and half a heart: Is not +this the sum of these humbling congratulations? + +Sir Charles, when we came, was in his study with Mr. Lowther, the surgeon +whom he had engaged to go abroad with him: but he just came out to +welcome us; and then returned.--He had also with him two physicians, +eminent for their knowledge in disorders of the head, to whom he had +before communicated the case of the unhappy Clementina; and who brought +to him in writing their opinions of the manner in which she ought to be +treated, according to the various symptoms of her disorder. + +When he joined us, he told us this; and said very high things at the same +time in praise of the English surgeons; and particularly of this +gentleman: and added, that as nervous disorders were more frequent in +England, than in any country in the world, he was willing to hope, that +the English physicians were more skilful than those of any other country +in the management of persons afflicted with such maladies: and as he was +now invited over, he was determined to furnish himself with all the means +he could think of, that were likely to be useful in restoring and healing +friends so dear to him. + +Miss Grandison told him, that we were all in some apprehensions, on his +going to ltaly, of that fierce and wrong-headed man the general. Miss +Byron, said she, has told us, that Mrs. Beaumont advises not your going +over. + +The young Marquis della Porretta, said he, is hasty; but he is a gallant +man, and loves his sister. His grief on the unhappy situation they are +in demands allowance. It is natural in a heavy calamity to look out of +ourselves for the occasion. I have not any apprehensions from him, or +from any body else. The call upon me is a proper one. The issue must be +left where it ought to be left. If my visit will give comfort to any one +of the family, I shall be rewarded: If to more than one, happy--And, +whatever be the event, shall be easier in myself, than I could be, were I +not to comply with the request of the bishop, were he only to have made +it. + +Lord L---- asked Sir Charles, whether he had fixed the day of his setting +out? + +I have, said he, within this half hour. Mr. Lowther has told me, that he +shall be ready by the beginning of next week; and on Saturday sennight I +hope to be at Dover, on my way. + +We looked upon one another. Miss Grandison told me afterwards, that my +colour went and came several times, and that she was afraid for me. My +heart was indeed a little affected. I believe I must not think of taking +leave of him when he sets out. Ah, Lucy! Nine days hence!--Yet, in less +than nine days after that, I shall be embraced by the tenderest relations +that ever creature had to boast of. + +Sir Charles taking his sister aside, I want, said he, to say a few words +to you, Charlotte. They were about half an hour together; and then +returning, I am encouraged to think, said he, that Charlotte will give +her hand to Lord G----. She is a woman of honour, and her heart must +therefore go with it.--I have a request to make to her, before all you +our common friends--The Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, Lord G----, all +join in one suit: it is, that I may be allowed to give my sister to Lord +G---- before I leave England. + +I have told you, brother, that it is impossible, if you go away in nine +or ten days time. + +Sir Charles particularly requested my influence. I could have no doubt, +I said, but Miss Grandison would oblige her brother. + +She vehemently opposed so early a day. + +In a most affectionate manner, yet with an air of seriousness, he urged +his request. He said, that it was very proper for him to make some +dispositions of his affairs before he went abroad. He should leave +England with much more pleasure, if he saw his Charlotte the wife of a +man so worthy as Lord G----: Lord G----, said he, adores you: You +intended to be his: Resolve to oblige your brother, who, though he cannot +be happy himself, wishes to see you so. + +O, Sir Charles! said she, you ruin me by your solemnity, and by your +goodness. + +The subject is not a light one. I am greatly in earnest, Charlotte. I +have many affairs on my hands. My heart is in this company; yet my +engagements will permit me but few opportunities to enjoy it between this +and Tuesday next. If you deny me now, I must acquiesce: If you have more +than punctilio to plead, say you have; and I will not urge you farther. + +And so this is the last time of asking, sir? A little archly-- + +Not the last time of my Lord G----'s, but of mine--But I will not allow +you now to answer me lightly. If you can name a day before Tuesday, you +will greatly oblige me. I will leave you to consider of it. And he +withdrew. + +Every one then urged her to oblige her brother. Lady L---- very +particularly. She told her, that he was entitled to her compliance; and +that he had spoken to her on this subject in a still more earnest manner. +She should hardly be able to excuse her, she said, if the serious hint he +had given about settling his affairs before he went abroad, had not +weight with her. You know, Charlotte, continued she, that he can have no +motive but your good; and you have told me, that you intend to have Lord +G----; and that you esteem his father, his aunt, and every one of his +family, whom you have seen; and they are all highly pleased with you. +Settlements are already drawn: that my brother told you last night. +Nothing is wanting but your day. + +I wish he was in half the hurry to be married himself. + +So he would be, I dare say, if marriage were as much in his power, as it +is in yours. + +What a deuse, to be married to a man in a week's time, with whom I have +quarrelled every day for a fortnight past!--Pride and petulance must go +down by degrees, sister. A month, at least, is necessary, to bring my +features to such a placidness with him, as to allow him to smile in my +face. + +Your brother has hinted, Charlotte, said I, that he loves you for your +vivacity; and should still more, if you consulted time and occasion. + +He has withdrawn, sister, said Lord L----, with a resolution, if you deny +him, to urge you no further. + +I hate his peremptoriness. + +Has he not told you, Charlotte, said I, and that in a manner so serious, +as to affect every body, that there is a kind of necessity for it? + +I don't love this Clementina, Harriet: all this is owing to her. + +Just then a rapping at the door signified visitors; and Emily ran in-- +Lord G----, the Earl, and Lady Gertrude, believe me! + +Miss Grandison changed colour. A contrivance of my brother's!--Ah, Lord! +Now shall I be beset!--I will be sullen, that I may not be saucy. + +Sullen you can't be, Charlotte, said Lady L----: but saucy you can. +Remember, however, my brother's earnestness, and spare Lord G---- before +his father and aunt, or you will give me, and every body, pain. + +How can I? Our last quarrel is not made up: but advise him not to be +either impertinent or secure. + +Immediately enter'd Sir Charles, introducing the Earl and Lady Gertrude. +After the first compliments, Pray, Sir Charles, said Miss Grandison, +drawing him aside, towards me, and whispering, tell me truly: Did you not +know of this visit? + +I invited them, Charlotte, whispered he. I meant not however to surprise +you. If you comply, you will give me great pleasure: if you do not, I +will not be dis-pleased with my sister. + +What can I do? Either be less good to me, sir, or less hurrying. + +You have sacrificed enough to female punctilio, Charlotte. Lord G---- +has been a zealous courtier. You have no doubt of the ardor of his +passion, nor of your own power. Leave the day to me. Let it be Tuesday +next. + +Good heaven! I can't bear you, after such a--and she gasped, as if for +breath; and he turning from her to me, she went to Lady Gertrude, who, +rising, took her hand, and withdrew with her into the next room. + +They staid out till they were told dinner was served: and when they +returned, I thought I never saw Miss Grandison look so lovely. A +charming flush had overspread her cheeks: a sweet consciousness in her +eyes gave a female grace to her whole aspect, and softened, as I may say, +the natural majesty of her fine features. + +Lord G---- looked delighted, as if his heart were filled with happy +presages. The earl seemed no less pleased. + +Miss Grandison was unusually thoughtful all dinnertime: she gave me great +joy to see her so, in the hope, that when the lover becomes the husband, +the over-lively mistress will be sunk in the obliging wife.--And yet, +now and then, as the joy in my lord's heart overflowed at his lips, I +could observe that archness rising to her eye, that makes one both love +and fear her. + +After dinner, the Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude desired a conference +with Sir Charles and Lady L----. They were not long absent, when Sir +Charles came in, and carried out Miss Grandison to them. Lord G----'s +complexion varied often. + +Sir Charles left them together, and joined us. We were standing; and he +singled me out--I hope, madam, said he, that Charlotte may be prevailed +upon for Tuesday next: but I will not urge it further. + +I thought that he was framing himself to say something particular to me, +when Lady L---- came in, and desired him and me to step to her sister, +who had retired from the Earl and Lady Gertrude, by consent. + +Ah, my Harriet! said she, pity me, my dear!--Debasement is the child of +pride!--Then turning to Sir Charles, I acknowledge myself overcome, said +she, by your earnestness, as you are so soon to leave us; and by the +importunities of the Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, and my sister-- +Unprepared in mind, in clothes, I am resolved to oblige the best of +brothers. Do you, sir, dispose of me as you think fit. + +My sister consents, sir, said Lady L----, for next Tuesday. + +Cheerfully, I hope. If Charlotte balances whether, if she took more +time, she should have Lord G---- at all, let her take it. Lord L----, in +my absence, will be to her all that I wish to be, when she shall +determine. + +I balance not, sir: but I thought to have had a month's time, at least, +to look about me, and having treated Lord G---- too flippantly, to give +him by degrees some fairer prospects of happiness with me, than hitherto +he has had. + +Sir Charles embraced her. She was all his sister, he said. Let the +alteration now begin. Lord G---- would rejoice in it, and consider all +that had passed, as trials only of his love for her. The obliging wife +would banish from his remembrance the petulant mistress. And now, allow +me, my dear sister, to present you to the Earl and Lady Gertrude. + +He led her in to them. Lady L---- took my hand, and led me in also.-- +Charlotte, my lord, yields to yours and Lady Gertrude's importunities. +Next Tuesday will give the two families a near and tender relation to +each other. + +The earl saluted her in a very affectionate manner: so did Lady Gertrude; +who afterwards ran out for her nephew: and, leading him in, presented him +to Miss Grandison. + +She had just time to whisper me, as he approached her; Ah, Harriet! now +comes the worst part of the show.--He kneeled on one knee, kissed her +hand: but was too much overjoyed to speak; for Lady Gertrude had told +him, as she led him in, that Tuesday was to be his happy day. + +It is impossible, Lucy, but Sir Charles Grandison must carry every point +he sets his heart upon. When he shall appear before the family of +Porretta in Italy, who will be able to withstand him?--Is not his +consequence doubled, more than doubled, since he was with them? The man +whose absence they requested, they now invite to come among them. They +have tried every experiment to restore their Clementina: he has a noble +estate now in possession. The fame of his goodness is gone out to +distant countries. O my dear! All opposition must fly before him. And +if it be the will of Heaven to restore Clementina, all her friends must +concur in giving her to him upon the terms he has proposed; and from +which, having himself proposed them, Sir Charles Grandison cannot recede. + +His heart, it is evident, is at Bologna. Well, and so it ought to be. +And yet I could not forbear being sensibly touched by the following +words, which I overheard him say to Lord L----, in answer to something my +lord said to him: + +'I am impatient to be abroad. Had I not waited for Mr. Lowther, the last +letters I received from Italy should have been answered in person.' + +But as honour, compassion, love, friendship (still nobler than love!) +have demands upon him, let him obey the call. He has set me high in his +esteem. Let me be worthy of his friendship. Pangs I shall occasionally +feel; but who that values one person above the rest of the world, does +not? + +Sir Charles, as we sat at tea, mentioned his cousin Grandison to Lord +L----: It is strange, my lord, said he, that we hear nothing of our +cousin Everard, since he was seen at White's. But whenever he emerges, +Charlotte, if I am absent, receive him without reproaches: yet I should +be glad that he could have rejoiced with us. Must I leave England, and +not see him? + +It has been, it seems, the way of this unhappy man, to shut himself up +with some woman in private lodgings, for fear his cousin should find him +out; and in two or three months, when he has been tired of his wicked +companion, emerge, as Sir Charles called it, to notice, and then seek for +his cousin's favour and company, and live for as many more months in a +state of contrition. And Sir Charles, in his great charity, believes, +that till some new temptation arises, he is in earnest in his penitence; +and hopes, that in time he will see his errors. + +Oh, Lucy! What a poor creeping, mean wretch is a libertine, when one +looks down upon him, and up to such a glorious creature as Sir Charles +Grandison! + +Sir Charles was led to talk of his engagement for to-morrow, on the +triple marriage in the Danby family. We all gave him joy of the happy +success that had rewarded his beneficent spirit, with regard to that +family. He gave us the characters of the three couples greatly to their +advantage, and praised the families on both sides, which were to be so +closely united on the morrow; not forgetting to mention kindly honest Mr. +Sylvester the attorney. + +He told us, that he should set out on Friday early for Windsor, in order +to attend Lord W---- in his first visit to Mansfield-house. You, Lady +L----, will have the trouble given you, said he, of procuring to be +new-set the jewels of the late Lady W---- for a present to the future +bride. My lord shewed them to me (among a great number of other valuable +trinkets of his late wife's) in my last return from the Hall. They are +rich, and will do credit to his quality. You, my Lord L----, you, my +sisters, will be charmed with your new aunt, and her whole family. I +have joy on the happiness in prospect that will gild the latter days of +my mother's brother; and at the same time be a means of freeing from +oppression an ancient and worthy family. + +Tears were in every eye. There now, thought I, sits this princely man, +rejoicing every one who sees him, and hears him speak: But where will he +be nine days hence? And whose this day twelvemonth? + +He talked with particular pleasure of the expected arrival of his +Beauchamp. He pleased himself, that he should leave behind him a man who +would delight every body, and supply to his friends his absence.--What a +character did he give, and Dr. Bartlett confirm, of that amiable friend +of his! + +How did the Earl and Lady Gertrude dwell upon all he said! They prided +themselves on the relation they were likely so soon to stand in to so +valuable a man. + +In your last letter, you tell me, Lucy, that Mr. Greville has the +confidence to throw out menaces against this excellent man--Sorry wretch! +--How my heart rises against him!--He--But no more of such an earth-born +creature. + + + +LETTER XV + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +THURSDAY MORNING, APRIL 6. + + +Miss Grandison, accompanied by Miss Jervois, has just left us. Lady +L---- has undertaken, she says, to set all hands at work, to have things +in tolerable order, early as the day is, for Tuesday next. Miss +Grandison (would you believe it?) owns, that she wants spirits to order +anything. What must be the solemnity of that circumstance, when near, +that shall make Charlotte Grandison want spirits? + +She withdrew with me to my apartment. She threw herself into a chair: +'Tis a folly to deny it, Harriet, but I am very low, and very silly: I +don't like next Tuesday by any means. + +Is your objection only to the day, my dear? + +I do not like the man. + +Is there any man whom you like better? + +I can't say that neither. But this brother of mine makes me think +contemptibly of all other men. I would compound for a man but half so +good--Tender, kind, humane, polite, and even cheerful in affliction!--O, +Harriet! where is there such another man? + +No where.--But you don't by marriage lose, on the contrary, you further +engage and secure, the affection of this brother. You will have a +good-natured worthy man for your husband; a man who loves you, and you +will have your brother besides. + +Do you think I can be happy with Lord G----? + +I am sure you may, if it be not your own fault. + +That's the thing: I may, perhaps, bear with the man; but I cannot honour +him. + +Then don't vow to honour him. Don't meet him at the altar. + +Yet I must. But I believe I think too much: and consideration is no +friend to wedlock.--Would to Heaven that the same hour that my hand and +Lord G----'s were joined, yours and my brother's were also united! + +Ah, Miss Grandison! If you love me, try to wean me; and not to encourage +hopes of what never, never can be. + +Dear creature! You will be greater than Clementina, and that is greater +than the greatest, if you can conquer a passion, that overturned her +reason. + +Do not, my Charlotte, make comparisons in which the conscience of your +Harriet tells her she must be a sufferer. There is no occasion for me to +despise myself, in order to hold myself inferior to Clementina. + +Well, you are a noble creature!--But, the approaching Tuesday--I cannot +bear to think of it. + +Dear Charlotte! + +And dear Harriet too!--But the officiousness, the assiduities, of this +trifling man are disgustful to me. + +You don't hate him?-- + +Hate him--True--I don't hate him--But I have been so much accustomed to +treat him like a fool, that I can't help thinking him one. He should not +have been so tame to such a spirit as mine. He should have been angry +when I played upon him. I have got a knack of it, and shall never leave +it off, that's certain. + +Then I hope he will be angry with you. I hope that he will resent your +ill-treatment of him. + +Too late, too late to begin, Harriet. I won't take it of him now. He +has never let me see that his face can become two sorts of features. The +poor man can look sorrowful; that I know full well: but I shall always +laugh when he attempts to look angry. + +You know better, Charlotte. You may give him so much cause for anger, +that you may make it habitual to him, and then would be glad to see him +pleased. Men have an hundred ways that women have not to divert +themselves abroad, when they cannot be happy at home. This I have heard +observed by-- + +By your grandmother, Harriet? Good old lady! In her reign it might be +so; but you will find, that women now have as many ways to divert +themselves abroad as the men. Have you not observed this yourself in one +of your letters to Lucy? Ah! my dear! we can every hour of the +twenty-four be up with our monarchs, if they are undutiful. + +But Charlotte Grandison will not, cannot-- + +Why that's true, my dear--But I shall not then be a Grandison. Yet the +man will have some security from my brother's goodness. He is not only +good himself, but he makes every one related to him, either from fear or +shame, good likewise. But I think that when one week or fortnight is +happily over, and my spirits are got up again from the depression into +which this abominable hurry puts them, I could fall upon some inventions +that would make every-one laugh, except the person who might take it into +his head that he may be a sufferer by them: and who can laugh, and be +angry, in the same moment? + +You should not marry, Charlotte, till this wicked vein of humour and +raillery is stopt. + +I hope it will hold me till fifty. + +Don't say so, Charlotte--Say rather that you hope it will hold you so +long only as it may be thought innocent or inoffensive, by the man whom +it will be your duty to oblige, and so long as it will bring no discredit +to yourself. + +Your servant, Goody Gravity!--But what must be, must. The man is bound +to see it. It will be all his own seeking. He will sin with his eyes +open. I think he has seen enough of me to take warning. All that I am +concerned about is for the next week or fortnight. He will be king all +that time--Yet, perhaps not quite all neither. And I shall be his +sovereign ever after, or I am mistaken. What a deuse, shall a woman +marry a man of talents not superior to her own, and forget to reward +herself for her condescension?--But, high-ho!--There's a sigh, Harriet. +Were I at home, I would either sing you a song, or play you a tune, in +order to raise my own heart. + +She besought me then, with great earnestness, to give her my company till +the day arrived, and on the day. You see, said she, that my brother has +engagements till Monday. Dear creature! support, comfort me--Don't you +see my heart beat through my stays?--If you love me, come to me to-morrow +to breakfast; and leave me not for the whole time--Are you not my sister, +and the friend of my heart? I will give you a month for it, upon demand. +Come, let us go down; I will ask the consent of both your cousins. + +She did: and they, with their usual goodness to me, cheerfully complied. + +Sir Charles set out this morning to attend the triple marriages; dressed +charmingly, his sister says. I have made Miss Grandison promise to give +me an account of such particulars, as, by the help of Saunders, and Sir +Charles's own relation, she can pick up. All we single girls, I believe, +are pretty attentive to such subjects as these; as what one day may be +our own concern. + + + +LETTER XVI + +MISS GRANDISON, TO MISS BYRON +THURSDAY NIGHT. + + +Unreasonable, wicked, cruel Byron! To expect a poor creature, so near +her execution, to write an account of other people's behaviour in the +same tremendous circumstances! The matrimonial noose has hung over my +head for some time past; and now it is actually fitted to my devoted +neck.--Almost choaked, my dear!--This moment done hearing read, the +firsts, seconds, thirds, fourths, to near a dozen of them--Lord be +merciful to us!--And the villanous lawyer rearing up to me his spectacled +nose, as if to see how I bore it! Lord G---- insulting me, as I thought, +by his odious leers: Lady Gertrude simpering; little Emily ready to bless +herself--How will the dear Harriet bear these abominable recitatives?-- +But I am now up stairs from them all, in order to recover my breath, and +obey my Byron. + +Well, but what am I now to say about the Danbys? Richard has made his +report; Sir Charles has told us some things: yet I will only give you +heads: make out the rest. + +In the first place, my brother went to Mrs. Harrington's (Miss Danby's +aunt:) she did every thing but worship him. She had with her two young +ladies, relations of her late husband, dainty damsels of the city, who +had procured themselves to be invited, that they might see the man, whom +they called, a wonder of generosity and goodness. Richard heard one of +them say to the other, Ah, sister, this is a king of a man! What pity +there are not many such! But, Harriet, if there were a hundred of them, +we would not let one of them go into the city for a wife; would we, my +dear? + +Sir Charles praised Miss Danby. She was full of gratitude; and of +humility, I suppose. Meek, modest, and humble, are qualities of which +men are mighty fond in women. But matrimony, and a sense of obligation, +are equally great humblers even of spirits prouder than that of Miss +Danby; as your poor Charlotte can testify. + +The young gentlemen, with the rest, were to meet Sir Charles, the bride, +and these ladies, at St. Helen's, I think the church is called. + +As if wedlock were an honour, the Danby girl, in respect to Sir Charles, +was to be first yoked. He gave her away to the son Galliard. The father +Galliard gave his daughter to Edward Danby: but first Mr. Hervey gave his +niece to the elder. + +One of the brides, I forget which, fainted away; another half-fainted-- +Saved by timely salts: the third, poor soul, wept heartily--as I suppose +I shall do on Tuesday. + +Never surely was there such a matrimony promoter, as my brother. God +give me soon my revenge upon him in the same way! + +The procession afterwards was triumphant--Six coaches, four silly souls +in each; and to Mr. Poussin's, at Enfield, they all drove. There they +found another large company. + +My brother was all cheerfulness; and both men and women seemed to contend +for his notice: but they were much disappointed at finding he meant to +leave them early in the evening. + +One married lady, the wife of Sir ---- somebody, (I am very bad at +remembering the names of city knights,) was resolved, she said, since +they could not have Sir Charles to open the ball, to have one dance +before dinner with the handsomest man in England. The music was +accordingly called in; and he made no scruple to oblige the company on a +day so happy. + +Do you know, Harriet, that Sir Charles is supposed to be one of the +finest dancers in England? Remember, my dear, that on Tuesday--[Lord +help me! I shall be then stupid, and remember nothing]--you take him out +yourself: and then you will judge for yourself of his excellence in this +science--May we not call dancing a science? If we judge by the few who +perform gracefully in it, I am sure we may; and a difficult one too. + +O!--And remember, Harriet, that you get somebody to call upon him to +sing--You shall play--I believe I shall forget, in that only agreeable +moment of the day, (for you have a sweet finger, my love,) that I am the +principal fool in the play of the evening. + +O, Harriet,--how can I, in the circumstances I am in, write any more +about these soft souls, and silly? Come to me by day-dawn, and leave me +not till--I don't know when. Come, and take my part, my dear: I shall +hate this man: he does nothing but hop, skip, and dance about me, grin +and make mouths; and every body upholds him in it. + +Must this (I hope not!) be the last time that I write myself to you + +CHARLOTTE GRANDISON? + + + +LETTER XVII + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +ST. JAMES'S-SQUARE, FRIDAY MORNING, APRIL 7. + + +Sir Charles Grandison set out early this morning for Lord W----'s, in his +way to Lady Mansfield's. I am here with this whimsical Charlotte. + +Lady L----, Miss Jervois, myself, and every female of the family, or who +do business for both sisters out of it, are busy in some way or other, +preparatory to the approaching Tuesday. + +Miss Grandison is the only idle person. I tell her, she is affectedly +so. + +The earl has presented her, in his son's name, with some very rich +trinkets. Very valuable jewels are also bespoke by Lord G----, who takes +Lady L----'s advice in every thing; as one well read in the fashions. +New equipages are bespoke; and gay ones they will be. + +Miss Grandison confounded me this morning by an instance of her +generosity. She was extremely urgent with me to accept, as her third +sister, of her share of her mother's jewels. You may believe, that I +absolutely refused such a present. I was angry with her; and told her, +she had but one way of making it up with me; and that was, that since she +would be so completely set out from her lord, she would unite the two +halves, by presenting hers to Lady L----, who had refused jewels from her +lord on her marriage; and who then would make an appearance, +occasionally, as brilliant as her own. + +She was pleased with the hint; and has actually given them (unknown to +any body but me) to her jeweller; who is to dispose them in such figures, +as shall answer those she herself is to have, which Lady L---- has not. +And by this contrivance, which will make them in a manner useless to +herself, she thinks she shall oblige her sister, however reluctant, to +accept of them. + +Lady Gertrude is also preparing some fine presents for her niece elect: +but neither the delighted approbation of the family she is entering into, +nor the satisfaction expressed by her own friends, give the perverse +Charlotte any visible joy, nor procure for Lord G---- the distinction +which she ought to think of beginning to pay him. But, for his part, +never was man so happy. He would, however, perhaps, fare better from +her, if he could be more moderate in the outward expression of his joy; +which she has taken it into her head to call an insult upon her. + +She does not, however, give the scope she did before the day was fixed, +to her playful captiousness. She is not quite so arch as she was. +Thoughtfulness, and a seeming carelessness of what we are employed in, +appear in her countenance. She saunters about, and affects to be +diverted by her harpsichord only. What a whimsical thing is Charlotte +Grandison! But still she keeps Lord G---- at distance. I told her an +hour ago, that she knows not how to condescend to him with that grace +which is so natural to her in her whole behaviour to every body else. + +I have been talking to Dr. Bartlett, about Sir Charles's journey to +Italy. Nobody knows, he says, what a bleeding heart is covered by a +countenance so benign and cheerful. Sir Charles Grandison, said he, has +a prudence beyond that of most young men; but he has great sensibilities. + +I take it for granted, sir, that he will for the future be more an +Italian than Englishman. + +Impossible, madam! A prudent youth, by travelling, reaps this advantage +--From what he sees of other countries, he learns to prefer his own. An +imprudent one the contrary. Sir Charles's country is endeared to him by +his long absence from it. Italy in particular is called the garden of +Europe; but it is rather to be valued for what it was, and might be, than +what it is. I need not tell a lady who has read and conversed as you +have done, to what that incomparable difference is owing. Sir Charles +Grandison is greatly sensible of it. He loves his country, with the +judgment of a wise man; and wants not the partiality of a patriot. + +But, doctor, he has offered, you know, to reside--There I stopt. + +True, madam--And he will not recede from his offers, if they are claimed. +But this uncertainty it is that disturbs him. + +I pity my patron, proceeded he. I have often told you he is not happy. +What has indiscretion to expect, when discretion has so much to suffer? +His only consolation is, that he has nothing to reproach himself with. +Inevitable evils he bears as a man should. He makes no ostentation of +his piety: but, madam, Sir Charles Grandison is a CHRISTIAN. + +You need not, sir, say more to me to exalt him: and, let me add, that I +have no small pleasure in knowing that Clementina is a lady of strict +piety, though a Roman Catholic. + +And let me assure you, madam, that Sir Charles's regard for Miss Byron +(his more than regard for her, why should I not say? since every body +sees it) is founded upon her piety, and upon the amiable qualities of her +mind. Beauty, madam, is an accidental and transient good. No man better +knows how to distinguish between admiration and love, than my patron. +His virtue is virtue upon full proof, and against sensibilities, that it +is heroic to overcome. Lady Olivia knows this: and here I must +acknowledge myself a debtor to you for three articles out of your ten. I +hope soon to discharge the obligation. + +Your own time, doctor: but I must say, that whenever you give me Lady +Olivia's story, I shall be pained, if I find that a Clementina is +considered by a beauty of an unhappier turn, as her rival in the love of +Sir Charles Grandison. + +Lady Olivia, madam, admires him for his virtue; but she cannot, as he has +made it his study to do, divide admiration from love. What offers has +she not refused?--But she declares, that she had rather be the friend of +Sir Charles Grandison, than the wife of the greatest prince on earth. + +This struck me: Have not I said something like it? But surely with +innocence of heart. But here the doctor suggests, that Olivia has put +his virtue to the proof: Yet I hope not. + +The FRIEND, Dr. Bartlett!--I hope that no woman who is not quite given up +to dishonour, will pollute the sacred word, by affixing ideas to it, that +cannot be connected with it. A friend is one of the highest characters +that one human creature can shine in to another. There may be love, that +though it has no view but to honour, yet even in wedlock, ripens not into +friendship. How poor are all such attachments! How much beneath the +exalted notion I have of that noblest, that most delicate union of souls! +You wonder at me, Dr. Bartlett. Let me repeat to you, sir, (I have it by +heart,) Sir Charles Grandison's tender of friendship to the poor Harriet +Byron, which has given me such exalted ideas of this disinterested +passion; but you must not take notice that I have. I repeated those +words, beginning, 'My heart demands alliance with hers'--and ending with +these--'So long as it shall be consistent with her other attachments.'* + + +* See page 110 of this Volume. + + +The doctor was silent for a few moments. At last, What a delicacy is +there in the mind of this excellent man! Yet how consistent with the +exactest truth! The friendship he offers you, madam, is indeed +friendship. What you have repeated can want no explanation: yet it is +expressive of his uncertain situation. It is-- + +He stopt of a sudden. + +Pray, doctor, proceed: I love to hear you talk. + +My good young lady!--I may say too much. Sir Charles in these nice +points must be left to himself. It is impossible for any body to express +his thoughts as he can express them. But let me say, that he justly, as +well as greatly, admires Miss Byron. + +My heart rose against myself. Bold Harriet, thought I, how darest thou +thus urge a good man to say more than he has a mind to say of the secrets +of a friend, which are committed to his keeping? Content thyself with +the hopes, that the worthiest man in the world would wish to call thee +his, were it not for an invincible obstacle. And noble, thrice noble +Clementina, be thine the preference even in the heart of Harriet Byron, +because justice gives it to thee; for, Harriet, hast thou not been taught +to prefer right and justice to every other consideration? And, wouldst +thou abhor the thought of a common theft, yet steal an heart that is the +property, and that by the dearest purchase, of another? + + + +LETTER XVIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +FRIDAY EVENING. + + +We have had a great debate about the place in which the nuptial ceremony +is to be performed. + +Charlotte, the perverse Charlotte, insisted upon not going to church. + +Lord G---- dared not to give his opinion; though his father and Lady +Gertrude, as well as every other person, were against her. + +Lord L---- said, that if fine ladies thought so slightly of the office, +as that it might be performed anywhere, it would be no wonder, if fine +gentlemen thought still more slightly of the obligation it laid them +under. + +Being appealed to, I said, that I thought of marriage as one of the most +solemn acts of a woman's life. + +And if of a woman's, of a man's, surely, interrupted Lady L----. If your +whimsey, Charlotte, added she, arises from modesty, you reflect upon your +sister; and, what is worse, upon your mother. + +Charlotte put up her pretty lip, and was unconvinced. + +Lady Gertrude laid a heavy hand upon the affectation; yet admires her +niece-elect. She distinguished between chamber-vows and church-vows. +She mentioned the word decency. She spoke plainer, on Charlotte's +unfeeling perverseness. If a bride meant a compliment by it to the +bridegroom, that was another thing; but then let her declare as much; and +that she was in an hurry to oblige him. + +Charlotte attempted to kill her by a look--She gave a worse to Lord +G----. And why, whispered she to him, as he sat next her, must thou shew +all thy teeth, man?--As Lady Gertrude meant to shame her, I thought I +could as soon forgive that lady, as her who was the occasion of the +freedom of speech. + +But still she was perverse: she would not be married at all, she said, if +she were not complied with. + +I whispered her, as I sat on the other side of her, I wish, Charlotte, +the knot were tied: till then, you will not do even right things, but in +a wrong manner. + +Dr. Bartlett was not present: he was making a kind visit to my cousins +Reeves. When he came in, the debate was referred to him. He entered +into it with her, with so much modesty, good sense, propriety, and +steadiness, that at last the perverse creature gave way: but hardly would +neither, had he not assured her, that her brother would be entirely +against her; and that he himself must be excused performing the sacred +office, but in a sacred place. She has set her heart on the doctor's +marrying her. + +The Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude, as also Lord and Lady L----, went +away, not dissatisfied with Charlotte's compliance: she is the most +ungraciously graceful young woman I ever knew in her compliances. But +Lord G---- was to pay for all: she and I had got together in the study: +in bolted Lord G----, perhaps with too little ceremony. She coloured-- +Hey-day, sir! Who expected you? His countenance immediately fell. He +withdrew precipitately. Fie, Charlotte! said I, recollect yourself--and +rising, stept to the door, My lord--calling after him. + +He came back; but in a little ferment--I hoped, I hoped, madam, as you +were not in your own apartment, that I might, that I might have been-- + +Wherever ladies are by themselves, it is a lady's apartment, my lord, +said she, with a haughtiness that sat better on her features, than they +would upon almost any other woman's. + +He looked, as if he knew not whether he should stay or go. Sit down, my +lord, said I; we are not particularly engaged. He came nearer, his hat +under his arm, bowing to her, who sat as stately as a princess on her +throne: but yet looked disobliged. You give yourself pretty airs, my +lord--don't you? + +Pretty airs, madam!--Pretty airs!--By my soul, I think, madam--And with +such a glow in your face, madam--Taking his laced hat from under his arm, +and, with an earnest motion, swinging it backwards and forwards, as +unknowing what he did-- + +What, sir, am I to be buffetted, sir?-- + +He put his hat under his arm again--Buffetted, madam!--Would to +Heaven-- + +What has Heaven to do with your odd ways, Lord G----? + +I beg pardon for intruding, madam--But I thought-- + +That you had a privilege, sir--But marriage itself, sir, shall not give +you a privilege to break into my retirements. You thought, sir--You +could not think--So much the worse if you did-- + +If I have really offended--I will be more circumspect for the future--I +beg pardon, madam--Miss Byron, I hope, will forgive me too. + +He was going, in great discomposure, and with an air of angry humility. + +Charlotte, whispered I, don't be silly-- + +Come, come, now you have broke in upon us, you may stay--But another +time, when you know me to be retired with a friend so dear to me, let it +enter into your head, that no third person, unsent for, can be welcome. + +Poor man!--How he loves her!--His countenance changed at once to the +humble placid: he looked as if he had rather be in fault than she. + +Oh! how little did she make him look! + +But he has often, as well as in this instance, let her see her power over +him. I am afraid she will use it. I now see it is and will be his +misfortune that she can vex him without being vexed herself: and what may +he expect, who can be treated with feigned displeasure, which, while it +seems to be in earnest to him, will be a jest to his wife? + +I was very angry with her, when we were alone; and told her, that she +would be an enemy, I was afraid, of her own happiness. But she only +laughed at me: Happiness, my dear! said she: that only is happiness which +we think so. If I can be as happy in my way, as you can be in yours, +shall I not pursue it? Your happiness, child, is in the still life. I +love not a dead calm: now a tempest, now a refreshing breeze, I shall +know how to enjoy the difference--My brother will not be here to turn +jest into earnest; as might perhaps be the effect of his mediation--But, +heigh-ho, Harriet! that the first week were over, and I had got into my +throne! + +She ended with an Italian air, contrasted with another heigh-ho; and left +me for a few moments. + +Poor Lord G----! said I, looking after her. + +She returned soon. Poor Lord G----! repeated she: those were the piteous +words you threw after me--But if I should provoke him, do you think he +would not give me a cuff, or so?--You know he can't return joke for joke; +and he must revenge himself some way--If that should be the case, Poor +Charlotte, I hope you would say-- + +Not if you deserved it. + +Deserve a cuff, Harriet!--Well, but I am afraid I shall. + +Remember next Tuesday, Charlotte!--You must vow obedience--Will you break +your vow?--This is not a jesting matter. + +True, Harriet. And that it is not, was perhaps one of the reasons that +made me disinclined to go to so solemn a place as the church with Lord +G----. Don't you think it one with those who insist upon being married +in their own chamber? + +I believe great people, said I, think they must not do right things in +the common way: that seems to me to be one of their fantastic reasons: +but the vow is the vow, Charlotte: God is every where. + +Now you are so serious, Harriet, it is time to have done with the +subject. + + +I have no sleep in my eyes; and must go on. What keeps me more wakeful +is, my real concern for this naughty Miss Grandison, and my pity for Lord +G----; for the instance I have given you of her petulance is nothing to +what I have seen: but I thought, so near the day, she would have changed +her behaviour to him. Surely, the situation her brother is in, without +any fault of his own, might convince her, that she need not go out of her +path to pick up subjects for unhappiness. + +Such a kittenish disposition in her, I called it; for it is not so much +the love of power that predominates in her mind, as the love of +playfulness: and when the fit is upon her, she regards not whether it is +a china cup, or a cork, that she pats and tosses about. But her sport +will certainly be the death of Lord G----'s happiness. Pity that Sir +Charles, who only has power over her, is obliged to go abroad so soon! +But she has principles: Lady Grandison's daughter, Sir Charles +Grandison's sister, must have principles. The solemnity of the occasion; +the office; the church; the altar;--must strike her: The vow--Will she +not regard the vow she makes in circumstances so awful? Could but my +Lord G---- assume dignity, and mingle raillery with it, and be able to +laugh with her, and sometimes at her, she would not make him her sport: +she would find somebody else: A butt she must have to shoot at: but I am +afraid he will be too sensible of her smartness: and she will have her +jest, let who will suffer by it. + +Some of the contents of your last are very agreeable to me, Lucy. I will +begin in earnest to think of leaving London. Don't let me look silly in +your eyes, my dear, when I come. It was not so very presumptuous in me +(was it?) to hope--When all his relations--When he himself--Yet what room +for hope did he, could he, give me? He was honest; and I cheated myself: +but then all you, my dearest friends, encouraged the cheat: nay, pointed +my wishes, and my hopes, by yours, before I had dared (shall I say, or +condescended?) to own them to myself. + +You may let that Greville know, if you please, that there is no room for +his If's, nor, of consequence, any for his menaces. You may own, that I +shall soon be in Northamptonshire. This may prevent his and Fenwick's +threatened journey to town. + +But, Lucy, though my heart has been ever dutifully, as I may say, open to +the venerable domestic circle; though it would not have been an honest +heart, could it, circumstanced as I was, have concealed itself from Lady +D----; and must have been an impenetrable one indeed, if it could have +been disguised to the two sisters here--yet, I beseech you, my dear, +almost on my knees I beseech you, let not the audacious, the insulting +Greville, have ground given him to suspect a weakness in your Harriet, +which indelicate minds know not how to judge of delicately. For +sex-sake, for example-sake, Lucy, let it not be known, to any but the +partial, friendly few, that our grand-mamma Shirley's child, and aunt +Selby's niece, has been a volunteer in her affections. How many still +more forward girls would plead Mrs. Shirley's approbation of the hasty +affection, without considering the circumstances, and the object! So the +next girl that run away to a dancing-master, or an ensign, would reckon +herself one of Harriet's school. + +Poor Mr. Orme! I am sorry he is not well. It is cruel in you, Lucy, at +this time, to say, (so undoubtingly,) that his illness is owing to his +love of me. You knew that such a suggestion would pain me. Heaven +restore Mr. Orme! + +But I am vexed, as it cannot be to purpose, that Sir Charles Grandison +and I have been named together, and talked of, in your neighbourhood!--He +will be gone abroad. I shall return to Northamptonshire: and shall look +so silly! So like a refused girl! + +'Every body gives me to him, you say'--So much the worse. I wonder what +business this every body has to trouble itself about me. + +One consolation, however, I shall have in my return; and that is, in my +Nancy's recovered health; which was so precarious when I set out for +London. + +But I shall have nothing to entertain you with when I am with you: Sir +Charles Grandison, Lord and Lady L----, Lady G----, (as now in three or +four days she will be), my dear Miss Jervois, Dr. Bartlett, will be all +my subject. And have I not exhausted that by pen and ink? O no! The +doctor promises to correspond with me; and he makes no doubt but Sir +Charles will correspond with him, as usual. + +What can the unusually tender friendship be called which he professed for +me, and, as I may say, claimed in return from me? I know that he has no +notion of the love called Platonic. Nor have I: I think it, in general, +a dangerous allowance; and, with regard to our sex, a very unequal one; +since, while the man has nothing to fear, the woman has every thing, from +the privileges that may be claimed, in an acknowledged confidence, +especially in presence. Miss Grandison thus interprets what he said, and +strengthens her opinion by some of Dr. Bartlett's late intimations, that +he really loves me; but not being at liberty to avow his love, he knew +not what to say; and so went as near to a declaration as was possible to +do in his circumstances. + +But might I not expect, from such a profession of friendship in Sir +Charles, an offer of correspondence in absence? And if he made the +offer, ought I to decline it? Would it not indicate too much on my side, +were I to do so?--And does it not on his, if he make not the offer? He +corresponds with Mrs. Beaumont: nobody thinks that any thing can be meant +by that correspondence on either side; because Mrs. Beaumont must be at +least forty; Sir Charles but six or seven and twenty: but if he makes not +the request to Harriet, who is but little more than twenty; what, after +such professions of a friendship so tender, will be inferred from his +forbearance? + +But I shall puzzle myself, and you too, Lucy, if I go on with this sort +of reasoning; because I shall not know how to put all I mean into words. +Have I not already puzzled you? I think my expression is weak and +perplexed--But this offered and accepted friendship between two persons +not indelicate, must be perplexing; since he is the only young man in the +world, from whom a woman has no dishonour to fear.--Ah, Lucy!--It would +be vanity in me, would it not? to suppose that he had more to fear from +Harriet, than she has from him; as the virtue of either, I hope, is not +questionable? But the event of his Italian visit will explain and +reconcile every thing. + +I will encourage a drowsy fit that seems to be stealing upon me. If I +have not written with the perspicuity I always aim at, allow, Lucy, for +the time of night; for spirits not high; and for the subject, that having +its delicacies, as well as uncertainties, I am not able to write clearly +upon it. + + + +LETTER XIX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SATURDAY NIGHT, APRIL 9. + + +Sir Charles is already returned: he arrived at Windsor on Friday morning; +but found that Lord W---- had set out the afternoon of the day before, +for the house of his friend Sir Joseph Lawrence, which is but fifteen +miles from Mansfield-house. + +Upon this intelligence, Sir Charles, wanting to return to town as soon as +he could, followed him to the knight's: and having time enough himself to +reach Mansfield-house that night, he, by his uncle's consent, pursued his +journey thither; to the great joy of the family; who wished for his +personal introduction of my lord to Miss Mansfield. + +My lord arrived by breakfast-time, unfatigued, and in high spirits: staid +at Mansfield-house all day; and promised so to manage, as to be in town +to-morrow, in order to be present at his niece's nuptials on Tuesday. + +As for Sir Charles, he made the Mansfield family happy in his company the +whole Friday evening; inquiring into their affairs relating to the +oppression they lay under; pointing out measures for redress; encouraging +Miss Mansfield; and informing the brothers, that the lawyers he had +consulted on their deeds, told him, that a new trial might be hoped for; +the result of which, probably, would be a means to do them justice, so +powerfully protected and assisted as they would now be; for new lights +had broke in upon them, and they wanted but to recover a deed, which they +understood was in the hands of two gentlemen, named Hartley, who were but +lately returned from the Indies. Thus prepared, the Mansfields also were +in high spirits, the next morning; and looked, Sir Charles said, on each +other, when they met, as if they wanted to tell each other their +agreeable dreams. + +Sir Charles, in his way, had looked in upon Sir Harry Beauchamp, and his +lady. He found Sir Harry in high spirits, expecting the arrival of his +son; who was actually landed from Calais, having met there his father's +letter, allowing him to return to England, and wishing in his own, and in +Lady Beauchamp's name, his speedy arrival. + +Sir Charles's impatience to see his friend, permitted him only to +breakfast with my lord and the Mansfields; and to know the opinion each +party formed of the other, on this first interview; and then he set out +to Sir Harry Beauchamp's. What an activity!--Heaven reward him with the +grant of his own wishes, whatever they be, and make him the happiest of +men! + +My lord is greatly taken with the lady, and her whole family. Well he +may, Sir Charles says. He blessed him, and called himself blessed in his +sister's son, for his recommendation of each to the other. The lady +thinks better of him, as her mother owned to Sir Charles, than she +thought she should, from report. + +I begin to think, Lucy, that those who set out for happiness are most +likely to find it, when they live single till the age of fancy is over. +Those who marry while it lasts, are often disappointed of that which they +propose so largely to themselves: while those who wed for convenience, +and deal with tolerable honesty by each other, are at a greater +certainty. Tolerable, I repeat, since, it seems, we are to expect that +both parties will turn the best side of the old garment outward. Hence +arises consolation to old maidens, and cautions against precipitation-- +Expatiate, my dear, on this fruitful subject: I would, were I at leisure. + +Sir Charles says that he doubts not, but Lord W---- will be as happy a +man as he wishes to be, in less than a month. + +The deuse is in this brother of mine, whispered Miss Grandison, to me, +for huddling up of marriages! He don't consider, that there may be two +chances for one, that his honest folks may in half a year's time, bless +him the contrary way. + +Sir Charles told us, that he had desired Lord W---- to give out every +where (that the adversaries of the Mansfield family might know it) his +intended alliance; and that he and his nephew were both determined to +procure a retrospection of all former proceedings. + +Sir Charles got to Sir Harry Beauchamp's a little before his friend +arrived. Sir Harry took him aside at his alighting, and told him, that +Lady Beauchamp had had clouds on her brow all the day, and he was afraid, +would not receive his son with the graciousness that once he hoped for +from her: but, that he left him to manage with her. She never, said he, +had so high an opinion either of man or woman as she has of you. + +Sir Charles addressed himself to her, as not doubting her goodness upon +the foot of their former conversation; and praised her for the graces +that however appeared but faintly in her countenance, till his +compliments lighted them up, and made them shine full out in it. He told +her, that his sister and Lord G---- were to be married on the following +Tuesday. He himself, he said, should set out for Paris on Friday after: +but hoped to see a family intimacy begun between his sisters and Lady +Beauchamp; and between their lords, and Sir Harry, and Mr. Beauchamp. He +applauded her on the generosity of her intentions, as declared to him in +their former conference; and congratulated her on the power she had, of +which she made so noble an use, of laying, at the same time, an +obligation on the tenderest of husbands, and the most deserving of sons: +whose duty to her he engaged for. + +All this set her in high good humour; and she took to herself, and +bridled upon it, to express myself in Charlotte's manner, the praises and +graces this adroit manager gave her, as if they were her unquestionable +due. + +This agreeable way they were all in, Sir Harry transported with his +lady's goodness, when Mr. Beauchamp arrived. + +The young gentleman bent his knee to his stepmother, as well as to his +father, and thanked her for the high favours his father had signified to +him by letter, that he owed to her goodness. She confirmed them; but, +Sir Charles observed, with an ostentation that shewed she thought very +highly of her own generosity. + +They had a very cheerful evening. Not one cloud would hang on Lady +Beauchamp's brow, though once or twice it seemed a little overshadowed, +as Mr. Beauchamp displayed qualities for which his father was too ready +to admire him. Sir Charles thought it necessary to caution Sir Harry on +this subject; putting it in this light, that Lady Beauchamp loved her +husband so well, that she would be too likely to dread a rivalry in his +affections from a son so very accomplished. Sir Harry took the hint +kindly. + +Mr. Beauchamp was under a good deal of concern at Sir Charles's +engagements to leave England so soon after his arrival; and asked his +father's leave to attend him. Sir Harry declared, that he could not part +with him. Sir Charles chid his friend, and said, it was not quite so +handsome a return as might have been expected from his Beauchamp, to the +joyful reception he had met with from his father, and Lady Beauchamp. +But she excused the young gentleman, and said, she wondered not, that +any body who was favoured with his friendship, should be unwilling to be +separated from him. + +Sir Charles expresses great satisfaction in Mr. Beauchamp's being arrived +before his departure, that he may present to us, himself, a man with whom +he is sure we shall all be delighted, and leave him happy in the beloved +society which he himself is obliged to quit. + +A repining temper, Lucy, would consider only the hardship of meeting a +long-absent friend, just to feel the uneasiness of a second parting: but +this man views every thing in a right light. When his own happiness is +not to be attained, he lays it out of his thoughts, and, as I have +heretofore observed, rejoices in that of others. It is a pleasure to see +how Sir Charles seems to enjoy the love which Dr. Bartlett expresses for +this friend of them both. + +Sir Charles addressed himself to me, on several occasions, in so polite, +in so tender a manner, that every one told me afterwards, they are sure +he loves me. Dr. Bartlett at the time, as he sat next me, whispered, on +the regret expressed by all on losing him so soon--Ah, madam!--I know, +and pity, my patron's struggles!--Struggles, Lucy! What could the doctor +mean by this whisper to me? But I hope he guesses not at mine! If he +does, would he have whispered his pity of Sir Charles to me?--Come, Lucy, +this is some comfort, however; and I will endeavour to be brave upon it, +that I may not, by my weakness, lessen myself in the doctor's good +opinion. + +It was agreed for Charlotte, (whose assent was given in these words--'Do +as you will--or, rather, as my brother will--What signifies opposing +him?') that the nuptials shall be solemnized, as privately as possible, +at St. George's church. The company is to drop in at different doors, +and with as few attendants as may be. Lord W----, the Earl of G----, and +Lady Gertrude, Lord and Lady L----, Miss Jervois, and your Harriet, are +to be present at the ceremony. I was very earnest to be excused, till +Miss Grandison, when we were alone, dropt down on one knee, and held up +her hands, to beg me to accompany her. Mr. Everard Grandison, if he can +be found, is to be also there, at Sir Charles's desire. + +Dr. Bartlett, as I before hinted, at her earnest request, is to perform +the ceremony. Sir Charles wished it to be at his own parish-church: but +Miss Grandison thought it too near to be private. He was indifferent, as +to the place, he said--So it was at church; for he had been told of the +difficulty we had to get Charlotte to desist from having it performed in +her chamber; and seemed surprised.--Fie, Charlotte! said he--An office so +solemn!--Vows to receive and pay, as in the Divine Presence-- + +She was glad, she told me, that she had not left that battle to be fought +with him. + + +MONDAY, APRIL 10. + +Lord W---- is come. Lord and Lady L---- are here. They, and Miss +Grandison, received him with great respect. He embraced his nieces in a +very affectionate manner. Sir Charles was absent. Lord W---- is in +person and behaviour a much more agreeable man than I expected him to be. +Nor is he so decrepit with the gout, as I had supposed. He is very +careful of himself, it seems. This world has been kind to him; and I +fancy he makes a great deal of a little pain, for want of stronger +exercises to his patience; and so is a sufferer by self-indulgence. Had +I not been made acquainted with his free living, and with the insults he +bore from Mrs. Giffard, with a spirit so poor and so low, I should have +believed I saw not only the man of quality, but the man of sense, in his +countenance. I endeavoured, however, as much as I could, to look upon +him as the brother of the late Lady Grandison. Had he been worthy of +that relation, how should I have reverenced him! + +But whatever I thought of him, he was highly taken with me. He +particularly praised me for the modesty which he said was visible in my +countenance. Free-livers, Lucy, taken with that grace in a woman, which +they make it their pride to destroy! But all men, good and bad, admire +modesty in a woman: And I am sometimes out of humour with our sex, that +they do not as generally like modesty in men. I am sure that this grace, +in Sir Charles Grandison, is one of his principal glories with me. It +emboldens one's heart, and permits one to behave before him with ease; +and, as I may say, with security, in the consciousness of a right +intention. + +But what were Lord W----'s praises of his nephew! He called him, the +glory of his sex, and of human nature. How the cheeks of the dear Emily +glowed at the praises given to her guardian!--She was the taller for +them: when she moved, it was on tiptoe; stealing as it were, across the +floor, lest she should lose any thing that was said on a subject so +delightful to her. + +My lord was greatly pleased with her too. He complimented her as the +beloved ward of the best of guardians. He lamented, with us, the +occasion that called his nephew abroad. He was full of his own +engagements with Miss Mansfield, and declared that his nephew should +guide and govern him as he pleased in every material case, respecting +either the conduct of his future life, or the management and disposition +of his estate; declaring, that he had made his will, and, reserving only +his lady's jointure, and a few legacies, had left every thing to him. + +How right a thing, even in policy, is it, my dear, to be good and +generous. + +I must not forget, that my lord wished with all his soul, that was his +expression, that he might have the honour of giving to his nephew my hand +in marriage. + +I could feel myself blush. I half-suppressed a sigh: I would have wholly +suppressed it, if I could. I recovered the little confusion, his too +plainly expressed wish gave me, by repeating to myself the word CLEMENTINA. + +This Charlotte is a great coward. But I dare not tell her so, for fear +of a retort. I believe I should be as great a one in her circumstances, +so few hours to one of the greatest events of one's life! But I pretend +not to bravery: yet hope, that in the cause of virtue or honour I should +be found to have a soul. + +I write now at my cousin's. I came hither to make an alteration in my +dress. I have promised to be with the sweet Bully early in the morning +of her important day. + + + +LETTER XX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY NIGHT, | APRIL 11, 12. +WEDNESDAY MORNING,| + + +Miss Grandison is no longer to be called by that name. She is Lady +G----. May she make Lord G---- as happy as I dare say he will make her, +if it be not her own fault! + +I was early with her, according to promise. I found her more affected +than she was even last night with her approaching change of condition. +Her brother had been talking to her, she said; and had laid down the +duties of the state she was about to enter into, in such a serious +manner, and made the performance of them of so much importance to her +happiness both here and hereafter, that she was terrified at the thoughts +of what she was about to undertake. She had never considered matrimony +in that formidable light before. He had told her, that he was afraid of +her vivacity; yet was loath to discourage her cheerfulness, or to say +any thing that should lower her spirits. All he besought of her was, to +regard times, tempers, and occasions; and then it would be impossible but +her lively humour must give delight not only to the man whom she favoured +with her hand, but to every one who had the pleasure of approaching her. +If, Charlotte, said he, you would have the world around you respect your +husband, you must set the example. While the wife gives the least room +to suspect, that she despises her husband, she will find that she +subjects him to double contempt, if he resents it not; and if he does, +can you be happy? Aggressors lay themselves open to severe reprisals. +If you differ, you will be apt to make by-standers judges over you. They +will remember, when you are willing to forget; and your fame will be the +sport of those beneath you, as well in understanding as degree. + +She believed, she told me, that Lord G---- had been making some +complaints of her. If he had-- + +Hush, my dear, said I--Not one word of threatening: are you more +solicitous to conceal your fault, than to amend it? + +No--But you know, Harriet, for a man, before he has experienced what sort +of a wife I shall make, to complain against me for foibles in courtship, +when he can help himself if he will, has something so very little-- + +Your conscience, Charlotte, tells you, that he had reason for complaint; +and therefore you think he has complained. Think the best of Lord G---- +for your own reputation's sake, since you thought fit to go thus far with +him. You have borne nothing from him: he has borne a great deal from +you. + +I am fretful, Harriet; I won't be chidden: I will be comforted by you: +you shall sooth me: are you not my sister? She threw her arms round me, +and kissed my cheek. + +I ventured to rally her, though I was afraid of her retort, and met with +it: but I thought it would divert her. I am glad, my dear, said I, that +you are capable of this tenderness of temper: you blustering girls--But +fear, I believe, will make cowards loving. + +Harriet, said she, and flung from me to the window, remember this: may I +soon see you in the same situation! I will then have no mercy upon you. + + +The subject, which Sir Charles led to at breakfast, was the three +weddings of Thursday last. He spoke honourably of marriage, and made +some just compliments to Lord and Lady L----; concluding them with +wishes, that his sister Charlotte and Lord G---- might be neither more +nor less happy than they were. Then turning to Lord W----, he said, he +questioned not his lordship's happiness with the lady he had so lately +seen; for I cannot doubt, said he, of your lordship's affectionate +gratitude to her, if she behaves, as I am sure she will. + +My lord had tears in his eyes. Never man had such a nephew as I have, +said he. All the joy of my present prospects, all the comforts of my +future life, are and will be owing to you. + +Here had he stopt, it would have been well: but turning to me, he +unexpectedly said, Would to God, madam, that you could reward him! I +cannot; and nobody else can. + +All were alarmed for me; every eye was upon me. A sickishness came over +my heart--I know not how to describe it. My head sunk upon my bosom. I +could hardly sit; yet was less able to rise. + +Sir Charles's face was overspread with blushes. He bowed to my lord. +May the man, said he, who shall have the honour to call Miss Byron his, +be, if possible, as deserving as she is! Then will they live together +the life of angels. + +He gracefully looked down; not at me; and I got a little courage to look +up: yet Lady L---- was concerned for me: so was Lord L----: Emily's eye +dropt a tear upon her blushing cheek. + +Was it not, Lucy, a severe trial?--Indeed it was. + +My Lord, to mend the matter, lamented very pathetically, that Sir Charles +was under an obligation to go abroad; and still more, that he could not +stay to be present at the celebration of his nuptials with Miss +Mansfield. + +The Earl, Lord G----, Lady Gertrude, and the doctor, were to meet the +bride and us at church. Lord and Lady L----, Sir Charles, and Emily, +went in one coach: Miss Grandison and I in another. + +As we went, I don't like this affair at all, Harriet, said she. My +brother has long made all other men indifferent to me. Such an infinite +difference! + +Can any body be happier than Lord and Lady L----, Charlotte? Yet Lady +L---- admires her brother as much as you can do. + +They happy!--And so they are. But Lady L----, soft soul! fell in love +with Lord L---- before my brother came over. So the foundation was laid: +and it being a first flame with her, she, in compliment to herself, could +not but persevere. But the sorry creature Anderson, proving a sorry +creature, made me despise the sex: and my brother's perfections +contributed to my contempt of all other men. + +Indeed, my dear, you are wrong. Lord G---- loves you: but were Sir +Charles not your brother, it is not very certain, that he would have +returned your love. + +Why, that's true. I believe he would not, in that case, have chosen me. +I am sure he would not, if he had known you: but for the man one loves, +one can do any thing, be every thing, that he would wish one to be. + +Do you think you cannot love Lord G----? For Heaven's sake, Charlotte, +though you are now almost within sight of the church, do not think of +giving your hand, if you cannot resolve to make Lord G---- as happy, as I +have no doubt he will make you, if it be not your own fault. + +What will my brother say? What will-- + +Leave that to me. I will engage Sir Charles and Dr. Bartlett to lend me +their ear in the vestry; and I am sure your brother, if he knows that you +have an antipathy to Lord G----, or that you think you cannot be happy +with him, will undertake your cause, and bring you off. + +Antipathy! That's a strong word, Harriet. The man is a good-natured +silly man-- + +Silly! Charlotte!--Silly then he must be for loving you so well, who, +really, have never yet given him an opportunity to shew his importance +with you. + +I do pity him sometimes. + +The coach stopt:--Ah, Lord! Harriet! The church! The church! + +Say, Charlotte, before you step out--Shall I speak to your brother, and +Dr. Bartlett, in the vestry? + +I shall look like a fool either way. + +Don't act like one, Charlotte, on this solemn occasion. Say, you will +deserve, that you will try to deserve, Lord G----'s love. + +Sir Charles appeared. Lord help me!--My brother!--I'll try, I'll try, +what can be done. + +He gave each his hand in turn: in we flew: the people began to gather +about us. Lord G---- all rapture, received her at the entrance. Sir +Charles led me: and the Earl and Lady Gertrude received us with joy in +their countenances. I overheard the naughty one say, as Lord G---- led +her up to the altar, You don't know what you are about, man. I expect to +have all my way: remember that's one of my articles before marriage. + +He returned her an answer of fond assent to her condition. I am afraid, +thought I, poor Lord G----, you will be more than once reminded of this +previous article. + +When she was led to the altar, and Lord G---- and she stood together, she +trembled. Leave me not, Harriet, said she.--Brother! Lady L----! + +I am sure she looked sillier than Lord G---- at that instant. + +The good doctor began the office. No dearly beloveds, Harriet! whispered +she, as I had said, on a really terrible occasion. I was offended with +her in my heart: again she whispered something against the office, as the +doctor proceeded to give the reasons for the institution. Her levity did +not forsake her even at that solemn moment. + +When the service was over, every one (Sir Charles in a solemn and most +affectionate manner) wished her happy. My Lord G---- kissed her hand +with a bent knee. + +She took my hand. Ah! Lord, what have I done?--And am I married? +whispered she--And can it never be undone?--And is that the man, to whom +I am to be obedient?--Is he to be my lord and master? + +Ah, Lady G----, said I, it is a solemn office. You have vowed: he has +vowed.--It is a solemn office. + +Lord G---- led her to the first coach. Sir Charles led me into the same. +The people, to my great confusion, whispered. That's the bride! What a +charming couple! Sir Charles handed Miss Emily next. Lord G---- came +in: as he was entering, Harkee, friend, said Charlotte, and put out her +hand, you mistake the coach: you are not of our company. + +The whole world, replied my lord, shall not now divide us: and took his +seat on the same side with Emily. + +The man's a rogue, Harriet, whispered she: See! He gives himself airs +already! + +This, said Lord G---- as the coach drove on, taking one hand, and eagerly +kissing it, is the hand that blessed me. + +And that, said she, pushing him from her with the other, is the hand that +repulses your forwardness. What came you in here for?--Don't be silly. + +He was in raptures all the way. + +When we came home, every one embraced and wished joy to the bride. The +Earl and Lady Gertrude were in high spirits. The lady re-saluted her +niece, as her dear niece: the earl recognised his beloved daughter. + +But prepare to hear a noble action of Lord W----. + +When he came up to compliment her--My dearest niece, said he, I wish you +joy with all my soul. I have not been a kind uncle. There is no +fastening any thing on your brother. Accept of this: [and he put a +little paper into her hand--It was a banknote of 1,000£.:] My sister's +daughter, and your brother's sister, merits more than this. + +Was not this handsomely presented, Lucy? + +He then, in a manner becoming Lady Grandison's brother, stept to Lady +L----. My niece Charlotte is not my only niece. I wish you, my dear, as +if this was your day of marriage, all happiness; accept these two papers: +[The one, Lucy, was a note for 1,000£. and the other for 100£.:] and he +said, The lesser note is due to you for interest on the greater. + +When the ladies opened their notes, and saw what they were, they were at +first at a loss what to say. + +It was most gracefully done. But see, Lucy, the example of a good and +generous man can sometimes alter natures; and covetous men, I have heard +it observed, when their hearts are opened, often act nobly. + +As soon as Lady G---- (so now I must call her) recovered herself from the +surprise into which my lord's present and address had put her, she went +to him: Allow me, my lord, said she, and bent one knee to him, to crave +your blessing; and at the same time to thank you for your paternal +present to your ever obliged Charlotte. + +God bless you, my dear! saluting her--But thank your noble brother: you +delight me with your graceful acceptance. + +Lady L---- came up. My Lord, you overcome me by your bounty.--How shall +I-- + +Your brother's princely spirit, Lady L----, said he, makes this present +look mean. Forgive me only, that it was not done before. And he saluted +her. + +Lord L---- came up. Lady L---- shewed him the opened notes--See here, my +lord, said she, what Lord W---- has done: and he calls this the interest +due on that. + +Your lordship oppresses me with your goodness to your niece, said Lord +L----. May health, long-life, and happiness, attend you in your own +nuptials! + +There, there, said Lord W----, pointing to Sir Charles, (who had +withdrawn, and then entered), make your acknowledgment: his noble spirit +has awakened mine; it was only asleep. My late sister's brother wanted +but the force of such an example. That son is all his mother. + +Sir Charles joining them, having heard only the last words--If I am +thought a son not unworthy of the most excellent of mothers, said he, and +by her brother, I am happy. + +Then you are happy, replied my lord. + +Her memory, resumed Sir Charles, I cherish; and when I have been tempted +to forget myself, that memory has been a means of keeping me steady in my +duty. Her precepts, my lord, were the guide of my early youth. Had I +not kept them in mind, how much more blamable than most young men had I +been!--My Charlotte! Have that mother in your memory, on this great +change of your condition! You will not be called to her trials.--His +eyes glistened. Tender be our remembrance of my father.--Charlotte, be +worthy of your mother. + +He withdrew with an air so noble!--But soon returning, with a cheerful +look, he was told what Lord W---- had done--Your lordship was before, +said he, entitled to our duty, by the ties of blood: but what is the +relation of body to that of mind? You have bound me for my sisters, and +that still more by the manner, than by the act, in a bond of gratitude +that never can be broken! + +Thank yourself, thank yourself, my noble nephew. + +Encourage, my lord, a family intimacy between your lady, and her nieces +and nephews. You will be delighted, my sisters, with Miss Mansfield; but +when she obliges my lord with her hand, you will reverence your aunt. I +shall have a pleasure, when I am far distant, in contemplating the family +union. Your lordship must let me know your Day in time; and I will be +joyful upon it, whatever, of a contrary nature, I may have to struggle +with on my own account. + +My lord wept--My lord wept, did I say?--Not one of us had a dry eye!-- +This was a solemn scene, you will say, for a wedding day: but how +delightfully do such scenes dilate the heart! + +The day, however, was not forgotten as a day of festivity. Sir Charles +himself, by his vivacity and openness of countenance, made every one +joyful: and, except that now and then a sigh, which could not be checked, +stole from some of us, to think that he would so soon be in another +country, (far distant from the friends he now made happy,) and engaged in +difficulties; perhaps in dangers; every heart was present to the occasion +of the day. + +O, Charlotte! Dear Lady G----! Hitherto, it is in your power, to make +every future day, worthy of this!--'Have your mother, your noble mother, +in your memory, my dear:' and give credit to the approbation of such a +brother. + +I should have told you, that my cousins Reeves came about two, and were +received with the utmost politeness by every body. + +Sir Charles was called out just before dinner; and returned introducing a +young gentleman, dressed as if for the day--This is an earlier favour, +than I had hoped for, said Sir Charles; and leading him to Lady G----. +This, sir, is the queen of the day. My dear Lady G----, welcome (the +house is yours--welcome) the man I love: welcome my Beauchamp. + +Every one, except Emily and me, crowded about Mr. Beauchamp, as Sir +Charles's avowedly beloved friend, and bid him cordially welcome: Sir +Charles presenting him to each by name. + +Then leading him to me--I am half ashamed, Lucy, to repeat--But take it +as he spoke it--Revere, said he, my dear friend, that excellent young +lady: but let not your admiration stop at her face and person: she has a +mind as exalted, my Beauchamp, as your own: Miss Byron, in honour to my +sister, and of us all, has gilded this day by her presence. + +Mr. Beauchamp approached me with polite respect. The lady whom Sir +Charles Grandison admires, as he does you, must be the first of women. + +I might have said, that he, who was so eminently distinguished as the +friend of Sir Charles Grandison, must be a most valuable man: but my +spirits were not high. I courtesied to his compliment; and was silent. + +Sir Charles presented Emily to him.--My Emily, Beauchamp. I hope to live +to see her happily married. The man whose heart is but half so worthy as +hers, must be an excellent man. + +Modesty might look up, and be sensible to compliments from the lips of +such a man. Emily looked at me with pleasure, as if she had said, Do you +hear, madam, what a fine thing my guardian has said of me? + +Sir Charles asked Mr. Beauchamp, how he stood with my Lady Beauchamp? + +Very well, answered he. After such an introduction as you had given me +to her, I must have been to blame, had I not. She is my father's wife: I +must respect her, were she ever so unkind to me: she is not without good +qualities. Were every family so happy as to have Sir Charles Grandison +for a mediator when misunderstandings happened, there would be very few +lasting differences among relations. My father and mother tell me, that +they never sit down to table together, but they bless you: and to me they +have talked of nobody else: but Lady Beauchamp depends upon your promise +of making her acquainted with the ladies of your family. + +My sisters, and their lords, will do honour to my promise in my absence. +Lady L----, Lady G----, let me recommend to you Lady Beauchamp as more +than a common visiting acquaintance. Do you, sir, to Mr. Beauchamp, see +it cultivated. + +Mr. Beauchamp is an agreeable, and, when Sir Charles Grandison is not in +company, a handsome and genteel man. I think, my dear, that I do but the +same justice that every body would do, in this exception. He is +cheerful, lively, yet modest, and not too full of words. One sees both +love and respect in every look he casts upon his friend; and that he is +delighted when he hears him speak, be the subject what it will. + +He once said to Lord W----, who praised his nephew to him, as he does to +everybody near him; The universal voice, my lord, is in his favour +wherever he goes. Every one joins almost in the same words, in different +countries, allowing for the different languages, that for sweetness of +manners, and manly dignity, he hardly ever had his equal. + +Sir Charles was then engaged in talk with his Emily; she before him; he +standing in an easy genteel attitude, leaning against the wainscot, +listening, smiling, to her prattle, with looks of indulgent love, as a +father might do to a child he was fond of; while she looked back every +now and then towards me, so proud, poor dear! of being singled out by her +guardian. + +She tript to me afterwards, and, leaning over my shoulder, as I sat, +whispered--I have been begging of my guardian to use his interest with +you, madam, to take me down with you to Northamptonshire. + +And what is the result? + +She paused. + +Has he denied your request? + +No, madam. + +Has he allowed you to go, my dear, if I comply, turning half round to her +with pleasure. + +She paused, and seemed at a loss. I repeated my question. + +Why, no, he has not consented neither--But he said such charming things, +so obliging, so kind, both of you, and of me, that I forgot my question, +though it was so near my heart: but I will ask him again. + +And thus, Lucy, can he decline complying, and yet send away a requester +so much delighted with him, as to forget what her request was. + +Miss Grandison--Lady G----, I would say--singled me out soon after--This +Beauchamp is really a very pretty fellow, Harriet. + +He is an agreeable man, answered I. + +So I think. She said no more of him at that time. + +Between dinner and tea, at Lady L----'s motion, they made me play on the +harpsichord; and after one lesson, they besought Sir Charles to sing to +my playing. He would not, he said, deny any request that was made him on +that day. + +He sung. He has a mellow manly voice, and great command of it. + +This introduced a little concert. Mr. Beauchamp took the violin; Lord +L---- the bass-viol; Lord G---- the German flute; and most of the company +joined in the chorus. The song was from 'Alexander's Feast:' the words; + + Happy, happy, happy pair! + None but the good deserves the fair: + +Sir Charles, though himself equally brave and good, preferring the latter +word to the former. + +Lady L---- had always insisted upon dancing at her sister's wedding. We +were not company enough for country dances: but music having been +ordered, and the performers come, it was insisted upon that we should +have a dance, though we were engaged in a conversation that I thought +infinitely more agreeable. + +Lord G---- began by dancing a minuet with his bride: she danced +charmingly: but on my telling her so afterwards, she whispered me, that +she should have performed better, had she danced with her brother. Lord +G---- danced extremely well. + +Lord L---- and Lady Gertrude, Mr. Beauchamp and Mrs. Reeves, Mr. Reeves +and Lady L---- danced all of them very agreeably. + +The earl took me out: but we had hardly done, when, asking pardon for +disgracing me, as he too modestly expressed himself; he, and all but my +cousins and Emily, called out for Sir Charles to dance with me. + +I was abashed at the general voice calling upon us both: but it was +obeyed. + +He deserved all the praises that Miss Gran--Lady G----, I would say, +gave him in her letter to me. + +Lord bless me, my dear, this man is every thing! But his conversation +has ever been among the politest people of different nations. + +Lord W---- wished himself able, from his gout, to take out Miss Jervois. + +The bridegroom was called upon by Sir Charles: and he took out the good +girl, who danced very prettily. I fancied, that he chose to call out +Lord G---- rather than Mr. Beauchamp. He is the most delicate and +considerate of men. + +Sir Charles was afterwards called upon by the bride herself: and she +danced then with a grace indeed! I was pleased that she could perform so +well at her own wedding. + +Supper was not ready till twelve. Mr. Reeves's coach came about that +hour; but we got not away till two. + +Perhaps the company would not have broke up so soon, had not the bride +been perverse, and refused to retire. + +Was she not at home? she asked Lady L----, who was put upon urging her: +and should she leave her company? + +She would make me retire with her. She took a very affectionate leave of +me. + +Marriage, Lucy, is an awful rite. It is supposed to be a joyful +solemnity: but, on the woman's side, it can be only so when she is given +to the man she loves above all the men in the world; and, even to her, +the anniversary day, when doubt is turned into certainty, must be much +happier than the day itself. + +What a victim must that woman look upon herself to be, who is compelled, +or even over-persuaded, to give her hand to a man who has no share in her +heart? Ought not a parent or guardian, in such a circumstance, +especially if the child has a delicate, an honest mind, to be chargable +with all the unhappy consequences that may follow from such a cruel +compulsion? + +But this is not the case with Miss Grandison. Early she cast her eye on +an improper object. Her pride convinced her in time of the impropriety. +And this, as she owns, gave her an indifference to all men. + +She hates not Lord G----. There is no man whom she prefers to him. And +in this respect, may perhaps, be upon a par with eight women out of +twelve, who marry, and yet make not bad wives. + +As she played with her passion till she lost it, she may be happy, if she +will: and since she intended to be, some time or other, Lady G----, her +brother was kind in persuading her to shorten her days of coquetting and +teasing, and allow him to give her to Lord G---- before he went abroad. + + + +LETTER XXI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12. + + +Dr. Bartlett was so good as to breakfast with my cousins and me this +morning. He talks of setting out for Grandison-hall on Saturday or +Monday next. We have settled a correspondence; and he gives me hope, +that he will make me a visit in Northamptonshire. I know you will all +rejoice to see him. + +Emily came in before the doctor went. She brought me the compliments of +the bride, and Lord W----, with their earnest request, that I would dine +with them. Sir Charles was gone, she said, to make a farewell visit to +the Danby set; but would be at home at dinner. + +It would be better for me, I think, Lucy, to avoid all opportunities of +seeing him: Don't you think so?--There is no such thing as seeing him +with indifference. But, so earnestly invited, how could I deny; +especially as my cousins were inclinable to go? + +Miss Jervois whispered me at parting. I never before, said she, had an +opportunity to observe the behaviour of a new-married couple to each +other: but is it customary, madam, for the bride to be more snappish, as +the bridegroom is more obliging? + +Lady G---- is very naughty, my dear, if she so behaves, as to give you +reason to ask this question. + +She does: and, upon my word, I see more obedience where it was not +promised, than where it was. Dear madam, is not what is said at church +to be thought of afterwards? But why did not the doctor make her speak +out? What signified bowing, except a woman was so bashful that she could +not speak? + +The bowing, my dear, is an assent. It is as efficacious as words. Lord +G---- only bowed, you know. Could you like to be called upon, Emily, to +speak out? + +Why, no. But then I would be very civil and good-natured to my husband, +if it were but for fear he should be cross to me: but I should think it +my duty as well + +Sweet innocent! + +She went away, and left the doctor with me. + +When our hearts are set upon a particular subject, how impertinent, how +much beside the purpose, do we think every other! I wanted the doctor to +talk of Sir Charles Grandison: but as he fell not into the subject, and +as I was afraid he would think me to be always leading him into it, if I +began it, I suffered him to go away at his first motion: I never knew him +so shy upon it, however. + +Sir Charles returned to dinner. He has told Lady L----, who afterwards +told us, that he had a hint from Mr. Galliard, senior, that if he were +not engaged in his affections, he was commissioned to make him a very +great proposal in behalf of one of the young ladies he had seen the +Thursday before; and that from her father. + +Surely, Lucy, we may pronounce without doubt, that we live in an age in +which there is a great dearth of good men, that so many offers fall to +the lot of one. But, I am thinking, 'tis no small advantage to Sir +Charles, that his time is so taken up, that he cannot stay long enough in +any company to suffer them to cast their eyes on other objects, with +distinction. He left the numerous assembly at Enfield, while they were +in the height of their admiration of him. Attention, love, admiration, +cannot be always kept at the stretch. You will observe, Lucy, that on +the return of a long-absent dear friend, the rapture lasts not more than +an hour: gladdened, as the heart is, the friend received, and the friends +receiving, perhaps in less than that time, can sit down quietly together, +to hear and to tell stories, of what has happened to either in the long +regretted absence. It will be so with us, Lucy, when I return to the +arms of my kind friends: and now, does not Sir Charles's proposed journey +to Italy endear his company to us? + +The Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, and two agreeable nieces of that +nobleman's, were here at dinner. Lady G---- behaved pretty well to her +lord before them: but I, who understood the language of her eyes, saw +them talk very saucily to him, on several occasions. My lord is a little +officious in his obligingness; which takes off from that graceful, that +polite frankness, which so charmingly, on all occasions, distinguishes +one happy man, who was then present. Lord G---- will perhaps appear more +to advantage in that person's absence. + +Mr. Beauchamp was also present. He is indeed an agreeable, a modest +young man. He appeared to great advantage, as well in his conversation, +as by his behaviour: and not the less for subscribing in both to the +superiority of his friend; who, nevertheless, endeavoured to draw him out +as the first man. + +After dinner, Lady L----, Lady G----, and I, found an opportunity to be +by ourselves for one half hour. Lady G---- asked Lady L---- what she +intended to do with the thousand pounds with which Lord W---- had so +generously presented her?--Do with it, my dear!--What do you think I +intend to do with it?--It is already disposed of. + +I'll be hanged, said Lady G----, if this good creature has not given it +to her husband. + +Indeed, Charlotte, I have. I gave it to him before I slept. + +I thought so! She laughed--And Lord L---- took it! Did he? + +To be sure he did. I should otherwise have been displeased with him. + +Dear, good soul!--And so you gave him a thousand pounds to take part of +it back from him, by four or five paltry guineas at a time, at his +pleasure? + +Lord L---- and I, Charlotte, have but one purse. You may not perhaps, +know how we manage it? + +Pray, good, meek, dependent creature! how do you manage it? + +Thus, Charlotte: My lord knows that his wife and he have but one +interest; and from the first of our happy marriage, he would make me take +one key, as he has another, of the private drawer, where his money and +money-bills lie. There is a little memorandum-book in the drawer, in +which he enters on one page, the money he receives; on the opposite, the +money he takes out: and when I want money, I have recourse to my key. If +I see but little in the drawer, I am the more moderate; or, perhaps, if +my want is not urgent, defer the supplying of it till my lord is richer: +but, little or much, I minute down the sum, as he himself does; and so we +know what we are about; and I never put it out of my lord's power, by my +unseasonable expenses, to preserve that custom of his, for which he is as +much respected, as well served; not to suffer a demand to be twice made +upon him where he is a debtor. + +Good soul!--And, pray, don't you minute down, too, the use to which you +put the money you take out? + +Indeed I often do: always, indeed, when I take out more than five guineas +at one time: I found my lord did so: and I followed the example of my own +accord. + +Happy pair! said I.--O Lady G----, what a charming example is this!--I +hope you'll follow it. + +Thank you, Harriet, for your advice. Why, I can't but say, that this is +one pretty way of coaxing each other into frugality: but don't you think, +that where an honest pair are so tender of disobliging, and so studious +of obliging each other, that they seem to confess that the matrimonial +good understanding hangs by very slender threads? + +And do not the tenderest friendships, said I, hang by as slender? Can +delicate minds be united to each other but by delicate observances? + +Why thou art a good soul, too, Harriet!--And so you would both have me +make a present to Lord G---- of my thousand pounds before we have chosen +our private drawer; before he has got two keys made to it? + +Let him know, Charlotte, what Lord L---- and I do, if you think the +example worth following--And then-- + +Ay, and then give him my thousand pounds for a beginning, Lady L----? +But see you not that this proposal should come from him, not from me?-- +And should we not let each other see a little of each other's merits +first? + +See, first, the merits of the man you have married, Charlotte! + +Yes, Lady L----. But yesterday married, you know. Can there be a +greater difference between any two men in the world, than there often is +between the same man, a lover, and a husband?--And now, my generous +advisers, be pleased to continue silent. You cannot answer me fairly. +And besides, wot ye not the indelicacy of an early present, which you are +not obliged to make? + +We were both silent, each expecting the other to answer the strange +creature. + +She laughed at us both. Soft souls, and tender! said she, let me tell +you, that there is more indelicacy in delicacy, than you very delicate +people are aware of. + +You, Charlotte, said Lady L----, have odder notions than any body else. +Had you been a man, you would have been a sad rake. + +A rake, perhaps, I might have been; but not a sad one, Lady L----. + +Lady G---- can't help being witty, said I: it is sometimes her +misfortune, sometimes ours, that she cannot: however, I highly approve of +the example set by Lord L----, and followed by Lady L----. + +And so do I, Harriet. And when Lord G---- sets the example, I shall-- +consider of it. I am not a bad economist. Had I ten thousand pounds in +my hands, I would not be extravagant: had I but one hundred, I would not +be mean. I value not money but as it enables me to lay an obligation, +instead of being under the necessity of receiving one. I am my mother's +daughter, and brother's sister; and yours, Lady L----, in this +particular; and yours too, Harriet: different means may be taken to +arrive at the same end. Lord G---- will have no reason to be +dissatisfied with my prudence in money-matters, although I should not +make him one of my best courtesies, as if--as if--(and she laughed; but +checking herself)--I were conscious--again she laughed--that I had signed +and sealed to my absolute dependence on his bounty. + +What a mad creature! said Lady L----: But, my Harriet, don't you think +that she behaved pretty well to Lord G---- at table? + +Yes, answered I, as those would think who observe not her arch looks: but +she gave me pain for her several times; and, I believe, her brother was +not without his apprehensions. + +He had his eyes upon you, Harriet, replied Lady G----, more earnestly +than he had upon me, or any body else. + +That's true, said Lady L----. I looked upon both him and you, my dear, +with pity. My tears were ready to start more than once, to reflect how +happy you two might be in each other, and how greatly you would love each +other, were it not---- + +Not one word more on this subject, dear Lady L----! I cannot bear it. I +thought my-self, that he often cast an eye of tenderness upon me. I +cannot bear it. I am afraid of myself; of my justice-- + +His tender looks did not escape me, said Lady G----. Nor yet did my dear +Harriet's. But we will not touch this string: it is too tender a one. +I, for my part, was forced, in order to divert myself, to turn my eyes on +Lord G----. He got nothing by that. The most officious-- + +Nay, Lady G----, interrupted I, you shall not change the discourse at the +expense of the man you have vowed to honour. I will be pained myself, by +the continuation of the former subject, rather than that shall be. + +Charming Harriet! said Lady L----. I hope your generosity will be +rewarded. Yet tell me, my dear, can you wish Lady Clementina may be his? +I have no doubt but you wish her recovery; but can you wish her to be +his? + +I have debated the matter, my dear Lady L----, with myself. I am sorry +it has admitted of debate: so excellent a creature! Such an honour to +her sex! So nobly sincere! So pious!--But I will confess the truth: I +have called upon justice to support me in my determination: I have +supposed myself in her situation, her unhappy malady excepted: I have +supposed her in mine: and ought I then to have hesitated to which to give +the preference?--Yet-- + +What yet, most frank, and most generous of women? said Lady L----, +clasping her arms about me: what yet-- + +Why, yet-Ah, ladies--Why, yet, I have many a pang, many a twitch, as I +may call it!--Why is your brother so tender-hearted, so modest, so +faultless!--Why did he not insult me with his pity? Why does he on every +occasion shew a tenderness for me, that is more affecting than pity? And +why does he give me a consequence that exalts, while it depresses me? + +I turned my head aside to hide my emotion--Lady G---- snatched my +handkerchief from me; and wiped away a starting tear; and called me by +very tender names. + +Am I dear, continued I, to the heart of such a man? You think I am. +Allow me to say, that he is indeed dear to mine: yet I have not a wish +but for his happiness, whatever becomes of me. + +Emily appeared at the door--May I come in, ladies?--I will come in!--My +dear Miss Byron affected! My dear Miss Byron in tears! + +Her pity, without knowing the cause, sprung to her eyes. She took my +hand in both hers, and repeatedly kissed it!--My guardian asks for you. +O with what tenderness of voice--Where is your Miss Byron, love? He +calls every one by gentle names, when he speaks of you--His voice then is +the voice of love--Love, said he to me! Through you, madam, he will love +his ward--And on your love will I build all my merit. But you sigh, dear +Miss Byron! you sigh--Forgive your prating girl!--You must not be +grieved. + +I embraced her. Grief, my dear, reaches not my heart at this time. It +is the merit of your guardian that affects me. + +God bless you, madam, for your gratitude to my guardian! + +A Clementina and a Harriet! said Lady L----, two women so excellent! +What a fate is his! How must his heart be divided! + +Divided, say you, Lady L----! resumed Lady G----. The man who loves +virtue, for virtue's sake, loves it wherever he finds it: Such a man may +distinguish more virtuous women than one: and if he be of a gentle and +beneficent nature, there will be tenderness in his distinction to every +one, varying only according to the difference of circumstance and +situation. + +Let me embrace you, my Charlotte! resumed Lady L----. for that thought. +Don't let me hear, for a month to come, one word from the same lips, that +may be unworthy of it. + +You have Lord G---- in your head, Lady L----: but never mind us. He must +now and then be made to look about him. I'll take care to keep up my +consequence with him, never fear: nor shall he have reason to doubt the +virtue of his wife. + +Virtue, my dear! said I: What is virtue only? She who will not be +virtuous for virtue's sake, is not worthy to be called a woman: but she +must be something more than virtuous for her husband's, nay, for her +vow's sake. Complacency, obligingness-- + +Obedience too, I warrant--Hush, hush, my sweet Harriet! putting her hand +before my mouth, we will behave as well as we can: and that will be very +well, if nobody minds us. And now let us go down together. + + + +LETTER XXII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +THURSDAY, APRIL 13. + + +We played at cards last night till supper-time. When that was over, +every one sought to engage Sir Charles in discourse. I will give you +some particulars of our conversation, as I did of one before. + +Lord W---- began it with a complaint of the insolence and profligateness +of servants. What he said, was only answered by Sir Charles, with the +word Example, example, my good lord, repeated. + +You, Sir Charles, replied my lord, may indeed insist upon the force of +example; for I cannot but observe, that all those of yours, whom I have +seen, are entitled to regard. They have the looks of men at ease, and of +men grateful for that ease: they know their duty, and need not a +reminding look. A servant of yours, Sir Charles, looks as if he would +one day make a figure as a master. How do you manage it? + +Perhaps I have been peculiarly fortunate in worthy servants. There is +nothing in my management deserving the attention of this company. + +I am going to begin the world anew, nephew. Hitherto, servants have been +a continual plague to me. I must know how you treat them. + +I treat them, my lord, as necessary parts of my family. I have no +secrets, the keeping or disclosing of which might give them +self-importance. I endeavour to set them no bad example. I am never +angry with them but for wilful faults: if those are not habitual, I shame +them into amendment, by gentle expostulation and forgiveness. If they +are not capable of a generous shame, and the faults grow habitual, I part +with them; but with such kindness, as makes their fellow-servants blame +them, and take warning. I am fond of seeking occasions to praise them: +and even when they mistake, if it be with a good intention, they have my +approbation of the intention, and my endeavours to set them right as to +the act. Sobriety is an indispensable qualification for my service; and +for the rest, if we receive them not quite good, we make them better than +they were before. Generally speaking, a master may make a servant what +he pleases. Servants judge by example, rather than precept, and almost +always by their feelings. One thing more permit me to add; I always +insist upon my servants being kind and compassionate to one another. A +compassionate heart cannot habitually be an unjust one. And thus do I +make their good-nature contribute to my security, as well as quiet. + +My lord was greatly pleased with what his nephew said. + +Upon some occasion, Lady G---- reflected upon a lady for prudery, and was +going on, when Sir Charles, interrupting her, said, Take care, Lady +G----. You, ladies, take care; for I am afraid, that MODESTY, under this +name, will become ignominious, and be banished the hearts, at least the +behaviour and conversation, of all those whose fortunes or inclinations +carry them often to places of public resort. + +Talk of places of public resort! said Lord L----: It is vexatious to +observe at such, how men of real merit are neglected by the fine ladies +of the age, while every distinction is shewn to fops and foplings. + +But, who, my lord, said Sir Charles, are those women? Are they not +generally of a class with those men? Flippant women love empty men, +because they cannot reproach them with a superiority of understanding, +but keep their folly in countenance. They are afraid of a wise man: but +I would by no means have such a one turn fool to please them: for they +will despise the wise man's folly more than the silly man's, and with +reason; because being uncharacteristic, it must sit more awkwardly upon +him than the other's can do. + +Yet wisdom itself, and the truest wisdom, goodness, said Mrs. Reeves, is +sometimes thought to sit ungracefully, when it is uncharacteristic, not +to the man, but to the times. She then named a person who was branded as +a hypocrite, for performing all his duties publicly. + +He will be worse spoken of, if he declines doing so, said Dr. Bartlett. +His enemies will add the charge of cowardice; and not acquit him of the +other. + +Lady Gertrude being withdrawn, it was mentioned as a wonder, that so +agreeable a woman, as she must have been in her youth, and still was for +her years, should remain single. Lord G---- said, that she had had many +offers: and once, before she was twenty, had like to have stolen a +wedding: but her fears, he said, since that, had kept her single. + +The longer, said Sir Charles, a woman remains unmarried, the more +apprehensive she will be of entering into the state. At seventeen or +eighteen a girl will plunge into it, sometimes without either fear or +wit; at twenty she will begin to think; at twenty-four will weigh and +discriminate; at twenty-eight will be afraid of venturing; at thirty will +turn about, and look down the hill she has ascended; and, as occasions +offer, and instances are given, will sometimes repent, sometimes rejoice, +that she has gained that summit sola. + +Indeed, said Mrs. Reeves, I believe in England many a poor girl goes up +the hill with a companion she would little care for, if the state of a +single woman were not here so peculiarly unprovided and helpless: for +girls of slender fortunes, if they have been genteelly brought up, how +can they, when family connexions are dissolved, support themselves? A +man can rise in a profession, and if he acquires wealth in a trade, can +get above it, and be respected. A woman is looked upon as demeaning +herself, if she gains a maintenance by her needle, or by domestic +attendance on a superior; and without them where has she a retreat? + +You speak, good Mrs. Reeves, said Sir Charles, as if you would join with +Dr. Bartlett and me in wishing the establishment of a scheme we have +often talked over, though the name of it would make many a lady start. +We want to see established in every county, Protestant Nunneries, in +which single women of small or no fortunes might live with all manner of +freedom, under such regulations as it would be a disgrace for a modest or +good woman not to comply with, were she absolutely on her own hands; and +to be allowed to quit it whenever they pleased. + +Well, brother, said Lady G----, and why could you not have got all this +settled a fortnight ago, (you that can carry every point,) and have made +poor me a lady abbess? + +You are still better provided for, my sister. But let the doctor and me +proceed with our scheme. The governesses or matrons of the society I +would have to be women of family, of unblamable characters from infancy, +and noted equally for their prudence, good-nature, and gentleness of +manners. The attendants, for the slighter services, should be the +hopeful female children of the honest industrious poor. + +Do you not, ladies, imagine, said Dr. Bartlett, that such a society as +this, all women of unblemished reputation, employing themselves as each, +(consulting her own genius,) at her admission, shall undertake to employ +herself, and supported genteelly, some at more, some at less expense to +the foundation, according to their circumstances, might become a national +good; and particularly a seminary for good wives, and the institution a +stand for virtue, in an age given up to luxury, extravagance, and +amusements little less than riotous? + +How could it be supported? said Lord W----. + +Many of the persons, of which each community would consist, would be, I +imagine, replied Sir Charles, no expense to it at all; as numbers of +young women, joining their small fortunes, might be able, in such a +society, to maintain themselves genteelly on their own income; though +each, singly in the world, would be distressed. Besides, liberty might +be given for wives, in the absence of their husbands, in this maritime +country; and for widows, who, on the deaths of theirs, might wish to +retire from the noise and hurry of the world, for three, six, or twelve +months, more or less; to reside in this well-regulated society. And such +persons, we may suppose, would be glad, according to their respective +abilities, to be benefactresses to it. No doubt but it would have +besides the countenance of the well-disposed of both sexes; since every +family in Britain, in their connexions and relations, near or distant, +might be benefited by so reputable and useful an institution: to say +nothing of the works of the ladies in it, the profits of which perhaps +will be thought proper to be carried towards the support of a foundation +that so genteelly supports them. Yet I would have a number of hours in +each day, for the encouragement of industry, that should be called their +own; and what was produced in them, to be solely appropriated to their +own use. + +A truly worthy divine, at the appointment of the bishop of the diocese, +to direct and animate the devotion of such a society, and to guard it +from that superstition and enthusiasm which soars to wild heights in +almost all nunneries, would confirm it a blessing to the kingdom. + +I have another scheme, my lord, proceeded Sir Charles--An hospital for +female penitents; for such unhappy women, as having been once drawn in, +and betrayed by the perfidy of men, find themselves, by the cruelty of +the world, and principally by that of their own sex, unable to recover +the path of virtue, when perhaps, (convinced of the wickedness of the men +in whose honour they confided,) they would willingly make their first +departure from it the last. + +These, continued he, are the poor creatures who are eminently entitled to +our pity, though they seldom meet with it. Good nature, and credulity, +the child of good nature; are generally, as I have the charity to +believe, rather than viciousness, the foundation of their crime. Those +men who pretend they would not be the first destroyers of a woman's +innocence, look upon these as fair prize. But, what a wretch is he, who +seeing a poor creature exposed on the summit of a dangerous precipice, +and unable, without an assisting hand, to find her way down, would rather +push her into the gulf below, than convey her down in safety? + +Speaking of the force put upon a daughter's inclinations in wedlock; +Tyranny and ingratitude, said Sir Charles, from a man beloved, will be +more supportable to a woman of strong passions, than even kindness from a +man she loves not: Shall not parents then, who hope to see their children +happy, avoid compelling them to give their hands to a man who has no +share in their hearts? + +But would you allow young ladies to be their own choosers, Sir Charles? +said Mr. Reeves. + +Daughters, replied he, who are earnest to choose for themselves, should +be doubly careful that prudence justifies their choice. Every widow who +marries imprudently, (and very many there are who do,) furnishes a strong +argument in favour of a parent's authority over a maiden daughter. A +designing man looks out for a woman who has an independent fortune, and +has no questions to ask. He seems assured of finding indiscretion and +rashness in such a one, to befriend him. But ought not she to think +herself affronted, and resolve to disappoint him? + +But how, said Lady G----, shall a young creature be able to judge-- + +By his application to her, rather than to her natural friends and +relations; by his endeavouring to alienate her affections from them; by +wishing her to favour private and clandestine meetings (conscious that +his pretensions will not stand discussion); by the inequality of his +fortune to hers: and has not our excellent Miss Byron, in the letters to +her Lucy, (bowing to me,) which she has had the goodness to allow us to +read, helped us to a criterion? 'Men in their addresses to young women,' +she very happily observes, 'forget not to set forward the advantages by +which they are distinguished, whether hereditary or acquired; while love, +love, is all the cry of him who has no other to boast of.' + +And by that means, said Lady Gertrude, setting the silly creature at +variance with all her friends, he makes her fight his battles for him; +and become herself the cat's paw to help him to the ready roasted +chesnuts. + +But, dear brother, said Lady G----, do you think love is such a staid +deliberate passion, as to allow a young creature to take time to ponder +and weigh all the merits of the cause? + +Love at first sight, answered Sir Charles, must indicate a mind prepared +for impression, and a sudden gust of passion, and that of the least noble +kind; since there could be no opportunity of knowing the merit of the +object. What woman would have herself supposed capable of such a tindery +fit? In a man, it is an indelicate paroxysm: but in a woman, who expects +protection and instruction from a man, much more so. Love, at first, may +be only fancy. Such a young love may be easily given up, and ought, to a +parent's judgment. Nor is the conquest so difficult as some young +creatures think it. One thing, my good Emily, let me say to you, as a +rule of some consequence in the world you are just entering into--Young +persons, on arduous occasions, especially in love-cases, should not +presume to advise young persons; because they seldom can divest +themselves of passion, partiality, or prejudice; that is, indeed, of +youth; and forbear to mix their own concerns and biases with the question +referred to them. It should not be put from young friend to young +friend, What would you do in such a case? but, What ought to be done? + +How the dear girl blushed, and how pleased she looked, to be particularly +addressed by her guardian! + +Lady Gertrude spoke of a certain father, who for interested views obliged +his daughter to marry at fifteen, when she was not only indifferent to +the man, but had formed no right notions of the state. + +And are they not unhappy? asked Sir Charles. + +They are, replied she. + +I knew such an instance, returned he. The lady was handsome, and had her +full share of vanity. She believed every man who said civil things to +her, was in love with her; and had she been single, that he would have +made his addresses to her. She supposed, that she might have had this +great man, or that, had she not been precipitated: And this brought her +to slight the man who had, as she concluded, deprived her of better +offers. They were unhappy to the end of their lives. Had the lady lived +single long enough to find out the difference between compliment and +sincerity, and that the man who flattered her vanity, meant no more than +to take advantage of her folly, she would have thought herself not +unhappy with the very man with whom she was so dissatisfied. + +Lady L---- speaking afterwards of a certain nobleman, who is continually +railing against matrimony, and who makes a very indifferent husband to an +obliging wife: I have known more men than one, said Sir Charles, inveigh +against matrimony, when the invective would have proceeded with a much +better grace from their wives' lips than from theirs. But let us +inquire, would this complainer have been, or deserved to be, happier in +any state, than he now is? + +A state of suffering, said Lady L----, had probably humbled the spirit of +the poor wife into perfect meekness and patience. + +You observe rightly, replied Sir Charles: And surely a most kind +disposition of Providence it is, that adversity, so painful in itself, +should conduce so peculiarly to the improvement of the human mind: It +teaches modesty, humility, and compassion. + +You speak feelingly brother, said Lady L----, with a sigh. Do you think, +Lucy, nobody sighed but she? + +I do, said he. I speak with a sense of gratitude: I am naturally of an +imperious spirit: But I have reaped advantages, from the early stroke of +a mother's death. Being for years, against my wishes, obliged to submit +to a kind of exile from my native country, which I considered as a heavy +evil, though I thought it my duty to acquiesce, I was determined, as much +as my capacity would allow, to make my advantage of the compulsion, by +qualifying myself to do credit, rather than discredit, to my father, my +friends, and my country. And, let me add, that if I have in any +tolerable manner succeeded, I owe much to the example and precepts of my +dear Dr. Bartlett. + +The doctor blushed and bowed, and was going to disclaim the merit which +his patron had ascribed to him; but Sir Charles confirmed it in still +stronger terms: You, my dear Dr. Bartlett, said he, as I have told Miss +Byron, was a second conscience to me in my earlier youth: Your precepts, +your excellent life, your pure manners, your sweetness of temper, could +not but open and enlarge my mind. The soil, I hope I may say, was not +barren; but you, my dear paternal friend, was the cultivator: I shall +ever acknowledge it--And he bowed to the good man; who was covered with +modest confusion, and could not look up. + +And think you, Lucy, that this acknowledgment lessened the excellent man +with any one present? No! It raised him in every eye: and I was the +more pleased with it, as it helped me to account for that deep +observation, which otherwise one should have been at a loss to account +for, in so young a man. And yet I am convinced, that there is hardly a +greater difference in intellect between angel and man, than there is +between man and man. + + + +LETTER XXIII + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +THURSDAY, APRIL 13. + + +For Heaven's sake, my dearest Harriet! dine with us to-day; for two +reasons: one relates to myself; the other you shall hear by and by: To +myself, first, as is most fit--This silly creature has offended me, and +presumed to be sullen upon my resentment. Married but two days, and shew +his airs!--Were I in fault, my dear, (which, upon my honour, I am not,) +for the man to lose his patience with me, to forget his obligations to +me, in two days!--What an ungrateful wretch is he! What a poor powerless +creature your Charlotte! + +Nobody knows of the matter, except he has complained to my brother--If he +has! But what if he has?--Alas! my dear, I am married; and cannot help +myself. + +We seem, however, to be drawing up our forces on both sides.--One +struggle for my dying liberty, my dear!--The success of one pitched +battle will determine which is to be the general, which the subaltern, +for the rest of the campaign. To dare to be sullen already!--As I hope +to live, my dear, I was in high good humour within myself; and when he +was foolish, only intended a little play with him; and he takes it in +earnest. He worships you: so I shall rally him before you: but I charge +you, as the man by his sullenness has taken upon him to fight his own +battle, either to be on my side, or be silent. I shall take it very ill +of my Harriet, if she strengthen his hands. + +Well, but enough of this husband--HUSBAND! What a word!--Who do you +think is arrived from abroad?--You cannot guess for your life--Lady +OLIVIA!--True as you are alive! accompanied, it seems, by an aunt of +hers; a widow, whose years and character are to keep the niece in +countenance in this excursion. The pretence is, making the tour of +Europe: and England was not to be left out of the scheme. My brother is +excessively disturbed at her arrival. She came to town but last night. +He had notice of it but this morning. He took Emily with him to visit +her: Emily was known to her at Florence. She and her aunt are to be here +at dinner. As she is come, Sir Charles says, he must bring her +acquainted with his sisters, and their lords, in order to be at liberty +to pursue the measures he has unalterably resolved upon: and this, +Harriet, is my second reason for urging you to dine with us. + +Now I do wish we had known her history at large. Dr. Bartlett shall tell +it us. Unwelcome as she is to my brother, I long to see her. I hope I +shall not hear something in her story, that will make me pity her. + +Will you come? + +I wonder whether she speaks English, or not. I don't think I can +converse in Italian. + +I won't forgive you, if you refuse to come. + +Lady L---- and her good man will be here. We shall therefore, if you +come, be our whole family together. + +My brother has presented this house to me, till his return. He calls +himself Lord G----'s guest and mine: so you can have no punctilio about +it. Besides, Lord W---- will set out to-morrow morning for Windsor. He +dotes upon you: and perhaps it is in your power to make a new-married man +penitent and polite. + +So you must come. + +Hang me, if I sign by any other name, while this man is in fits, than +that of + +CHARLOTTE GRANDISON. + + + +LETTER XXIV + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +THURSDAY, APRIL 13. + + +I send you enclosed a letter I received this morning from Lady G----. I +will suppose you have read it. + +Emily says, that the meeting between Sir Charles and the lady mentioned +in it, was very polite on both sides: but more cold on his than on hers. +She made some difficulty, however, of dining at his house; and her aunt, +Lady Maffei, more. But on Sir Charles's telling them, that he would +bring his elder sister to attend them thither, they complied. + +When I went to St. James's-square, Sir Charles and Lady L---- were gone +in his coach to bring the two ladies. + +Lady G---- met me on the stairs-head, leading into her dressing-room. +Not a word, said she, of the man's sullens: He repents: A fine figure, as +I told him, of a bridegroom, would he make in the eyes of foreign ladies, +at dinner, were he to retain his gloomy airs. He has begged my pardon; +as good as promised amendment; and I have forgiven him. + +Poor Lord G----, said I. + +Hush, hush! He is within: he will hear you: and then perhaps repent of +his repentance. + +She led me in: my lord had a glow in his cheeks, and looked as if he had +been nettled; and was but just recovering a smile, to help to carry off +the petulance. O how saucily did her eyes look! Well, my lord, said +she, I hope--But you say, I misunderstood--No more, madam, no more, I +beseech you-- + +Well, sir, not a word more, since you are-- + +Pray, madam-- + +Well, well, give me your hand--You must leave Harriet and me together. + +She humorously courtesied to him as he bowed to me, taking the compliment +as to herself. She nodded her head to him, as he turned back his when he +was at the door; and when he was gone, If I can but make this man +orderly, said she, I shall not quarrel with my brother for hurrying me, +as he has done. + +You are wrong, excessively wrong, Charlotte: you call my lord a silly +man, but can have no proof that he is so, but by his bearing this +treatment from you. + +None of your grave airs, my dear. The man is a good sort of man, and +will be so, if you and Lady L---- don't spoil him. I have a vast deal of +roguery, but no ill-nature, in my heart. There is luxury in jesting with +a solemn man, who wants to assume airs of privilege, and thinks he has a +right to be impertinent. I'll tell you how I will manage--I believe I +shall often try his patience, and when I am conscious that I have gone +too far, I will be patient if he is angry with me; so we shall be quits. +Then I'll begin again: he will resent: and if I find his aspect very +solemn--Come, come, no glouting, friend, I will say, and perhaps smile in +his face: I'll play you a tune, or sing you a song--Which, which! Speak +in a moment, or the humour will be off. + +If he was ready to cry before, he will laugh then, though against his +will: and as he admires my finger, and my voice, shall we not be +instantly friends? + +It signified nothing to rave at her: she will have her way. Poor Lord +G----! At my first knowledge of her, I thought her very lively; but +imagined not that she was indiscreetly so. + +Lord G----'s fondness for his saucy bride was, as I have reason to +believe, his fault: I dared not to ask for particulars of their quarrel: +and if I had, and found it so, could not, with such a rallying creature, +have entered into his defence, or censured her. + +I went down a few moments before her. Lord G---- whispered me, that he +should be the happiest man in the world, if I, who had such an influence +over her, would stand his friend. + +I hope, my lord, said I, that you will not want any influence but your +own. She has a thousand good qualities. She has charming spirits. You +will have nothing to bear with but from them. They will not last always. +Think only, that she can mean nothing by the exertion of them, but +innocent gaiety; and she will every day love your lordship the better for +bearing with her. You know she is generous and noble. + +I see, madam, said he, she has let you into-- + +She has not acquainted me with the particulars of the little +misunderstanding; only has said, that there had been a slight one; which +was quite made up. + +I am ashamed, replied he, to have it thought by Miss Byron, that there +could have been a misunderstanding between us, especially so early. She +knows her power over me. I am afraid she despises me. + +Impossible, my lord! Have you not observed, that she spares nobody when +she is in a lively humour? + +True--But here she comes!--Not a word, madam!--I bowed assenting silence. +Lord G---- said, she, approaching him, in a low voice, I shall be jealous +of your conversations with Miss Byron. + +Would to heaven, my dearest life! snatching at her withdrawn hand, +that-- + +I were half as good as Miss Byron: I understand you: but time and +patience, sir; nodding to him, and passing him. + +Admirable creature! said he, how I adore her! + +I hinted to her afterwards, his fear of her despising him. Harriet, +answered she, with a serious air, I will do my duty by him. I will abhor +my own heart, if I ever find in it the shadow of a regard for any man in +the world, inconsistent with that which he has a right to expect from me. + +I was pleased with her. And found an opportunity to communicate what she +said, in confidence, to my lord; and had his blessings for it. + +But now for some account of Lady Olivia. With which I will begin a new +letter. + + + +LETTER XXV + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION + + +Sir Charles returned with the ladies. He presented to Lady Olivia and +her aunt, Lady G----, Lord L----, and Lord W----. I was in another +apartment talking with Dr. Bartlett. Lady Olivia asked for the doctor. +He left me to pay his respects to her. + +Sir Charles being informed, that I was in the house, told Lady Olivia, +that he hoped he should have the honour of presenting to her one of our +English beauties; desiring Lady G---- to request my company. + +Lady G---- came to me--A lovely woman, I assure you, Harriet; let me lead +you to her. + +Sir Charles met me at the entrance of the drawing-room: Excuse me, madam, +said he, taking my hand, with profound respect, and allow me to introduce +to a very amiable Italian lady, one who does so much honour to Britain.-- +Miss Byron, madam, addressing himself to her, salutes you. The +advantages of person are her least perfection. + +Her face glowed. Miss Byron, said she, in French, is all loveliness. A +relation, sir? in Italian. + +He bowed; but answered not her question. + +I would sooner forgive you here, whispered Lady Olivia to Sir Charles, in +Italian, looking at me, than at Bologna. + +I heard her; and by my confusion shewed that I understood her. She was +in confusion too. + +Mademoiselle, said she, in French, understands Italian.--I am ashamed, +monsieur. + +Miss Byron does, answered Sir Charles; and French too. + +I must have the honour, said she in French, to be better known to you, +mademoiselle. + +I answered her as politely as I could in the same language. + +Lady OLIVIA is really a lovely woman. Her complexion is fine. Her face +oval. Every feature of it is delicate. Her hair is black; and, I think, +I never saw brighter black eyes in my life: if possible, they are +brighter, and shine with a more piercing lustre, than even Sir Charles +Grandison's: but yet I give his the preference; for we see in them a +benignity, that hers, though a woman's, has not; and a thoughtfulness, as +if something lay upon his mind, which nothing but patience could +overcome; yet mingled with an air that shews him to be equal to any +thing, that can be undertaken by man. While Olivia's eyes shew more fire +and impetuosity than sweetness. Had I not been told it, I should have +been sure that she has a violent spirit: but on the whole, she is a very +fine figure of a woman. + +She talked of taking a house, and staying in England a year at least; and +was determined, she said, to perfect herself in the language, and to +become an Englishwoman: but when Sir Charles, in the way of discourse, +mentioned his obligation to leave England, as on next Friday morning, how +did she and her aunt look upon each other! And how was the sunshine that +gilded her fine countenance, shut in! Surely, sir, said her aunt, you +are not in earnest! + +After dinner, the two ladies retired with Sir Charles, at his motion. +Dr. Bartlett, at Lady G----'s request, then gave us this short sketch of +her history. He said, she had a vast fortune: she had had indiscretions; +but none that had affected her character as to virtue: but her spirit +could not bear control. She had shewn herself to be vindictive, even to +a criminal degree. Lord bless me, my dear! the doctor has mentioned to +me in confidence, that she always carries a poniard about her; and that +once she used it. Had the person died, she would have been called to +public account for it. The man, it seems, was of rank, and offered some +slight affront to her. She now comes over, the doctor said, as he had +reason to believe, with a resolution to sacrifice even her religion, if +it were insisted upon, to the passion she had so long in vain endeavoured +to conquer. + +She has, he says, an utter hatred to Lady Clementina; and will not be +able to govern her passion, he is sure, when Sir Charles shall acquaint +her, that he is going to attend that lady, and her family: for he has +only mentioned his obligation to go abroad; but not said whither. + +Lord W---- praised the person of the lady, and her majestic air. Lord +L---- and Lord G---- wished to be within hearing of the conference +between her and Sir Charles: so did Lady G----: and while they were thus +wishing, in came Sir Charles, his face all in a glow; Lady L----, said +he, be so good as to attend Lady Olivia. + +She went to her; Sir Charles staid not with us: yet went not to the lady; +but into his study. Dr. Bartlett attended him there: the doctor returned +soon after to us. His noble heart is vexed, said he: Lady Olivia has +greatly disturbed him: he chooses to be alone. + +Lady L---- afterwards told us, that she found the lady in violent anguish +of spirit; her aunt endeavouring to calm her: she, however, politely +addressed herself to Lady L----, and begging her aunt to withdraw for a +few moments, she owned to her, in French, her passion for her brother: +She was not, she said, ashamed to own it to his sister, who must know +that his merit would dignify the passion of the noblest woman. She had +endeavoured, she said, to conquer hers: she had been willing to give way +to the prior attachments that he had pleaded for a lady of her own +country, Signora Clementina della Porretta, whom she allowed to have had +great merit; but who, having irrecoverably been put out of her right +mind, was shut up at Naples by a brother, who vowed eternal enmity to Sir +Charles; and from whom his life would be in the utmost hazard, if he went +over. She owned, that her chief motive for coming to England was, to +cast her fortune at her brother's feet; and, as she knew him to be a man +of honour, to comply with any terms he should propose to her. He had +offered to the family della Porretta to allow their daughter her +religion, and her confessor, and to live with her every other year in +Italy. She herself, not inferior in birth, in person, in mind, as she +said, she presumed, and superior in fortune, the riches of three branches +of her family, all rich, having centred in her, insisted not now upon +such conditions. Her aunt, she said, knew not that she proposed, on +conviction, a change of her religion; but she was resolved not to conceal +anything from Lady L----. She left her to judge how much she must be +affected, when he declared his obligation to leave England; and +especially when he owned, that it was to go to Bologna, and that so +suddenly, as if, as she apprehended at first, it was to avoid her. She +had been in tears, she said, and even would have kneeled to him, to +induce him to suspend his journey for one month, and then to have taken +her over with him, and seen her safe in her own palace, if he would go +upon so hated, and so fruitless, as well as so hazardous an errand: but +he had denied her this poor favour. + +This refusal, she owned, had put her out of all patience. She was +unhappily passionate; but was the most placable of her sex. What, madam, +said she, can affect a woman, if slight, indignity, and repulse, from a +favoured person, is not able to do it? A woman of my condition to come +over to England, to solicit--how can I support the thought--and to be +refused the protection of the man she prefers to all men; and her request +to see her safe back again, though but as the fool she came over!--You +may blame me, madam--but you must pity me, even were you to have a heart +the sister heart of your inflexible brother. + +In vain did Lady L---- plead to her Lady Clementina's deplorable +situation; the reluctance of his own relations to part with him; and the +magnanimity of his self-denial in a hundred instances, on the bare +possibility of being an instrument to restore her: she could not bear to +hear her speak highly of the unhappy lady. She charged Clementina with +the pride of her family, to which she attributed their deserved calamity; +[Deserved! Cruel lady! How could her pitiless heart allow her lips to +utter such a word!] and imputed meanness to the noblest of human minds, +for yielding to the entreaties of a family, some of the principals of +which, she said, had treated him with an arrogance that a man of his +spirit ought not to bear. + +Lady Maffei came in. She seems dependent upon her niece. She is her +aunt by marriage only: and Lady L---- speaks very favourably of her from +the advice she gave, and her remonstrances to her kinswoman. Lady Maffei +besought her to compose herself, and return to the company. + +She could not bear, she said, to return to the company, the slighted, the +contemned object, she must appear to be to every one in it. I am an +intruder, said she, haughtily; a beggar, with a fortune that would +purchase a sovereignty in some countries. Make my excuses to your +sister, to the rest of the company--and to that fine young lady--whose +eyes, by their officious withdrawing from his, and by the consciousness +that glowed in her face whenever he addressed her, betrayed, at least to +a jealous eye, more than she would wish to have seen--But tell her, that +all lovely and blooming as she is, she must have no hope, while +Clementina lives. + +I hope, Lucy, it is only to a jealous eye that my heart is so +discoverable!--I thank her for her caution. But I can say what she +cannot; that from my heart, cost me what it may, I do subscribe to a +preference in favour of a lady, who has acted, in the most arduous +trials, in a greater manner than I fear either Olivia or I could have +acted, in the same circumstances. We see that her reason, but not her +piety, deserted her in the noble struggle between her love and her +religion. In the most affecting absences of her reason, the soul of the +man she loved was the object of her passion. However hard it is to +prefer another to one's self, in such a case as this; yet if my judgment +is convinced, my acknowledgment shall follow it. Heaven will enable me +to be reconciled to the event, because I pursue the dictates of that +judgment, against the biases of my more partial heart. Let that Heaven, +which only can, restore Clementina, and dispose as it pleases of Olivia +and Harriet. We cannot either of us, I humbly hope, be so unhappy as the +lady has been whom I rank among the first of women; and whose whole +family deserves almost equal compassion. + +Lady Olivia asked Lady L----, if her brother had not a very tender regard +for me? He had, Lady L---- answered; and told her, that he had rescued +me from a very great distress; and that mine was the most grateful of +human hearts. + +She called me sweet young creature; (supposing me, I doubt not, younger +than I am;) but said, that the graces of my person and mind alarmed her +not, as they would have done, had not his attachment to Clementina been +what now she saw, but never could have believed it was; having supposed, +that compassion only was the tie that bound him to her. + +But compassion, Lucy, from such a heart as his, the merit so great in the +lady, must be love; a love of the nobler kind--And if it were not, it +would be unworthy of Clementina's. + +Lady Maffei called upon her dignity, her birth, to carry her above a +passion that met not with a grateful return. She advised her to dispose +herself to stay in England some months, now she was here. And as her +friends in Italy would suppose what her view was in coming to England, +their censures would be obviated by her continuing here for some time, +while Sir Charles was abroad, and in Italy: and that she should divert +herself with visiting the court, the public places, and in seeing the +principal curiosities of this kingdom, as she had done those of others; +in order to give credit to an excursion that might otherwise be freely +spoken of, in her own country. + +She seemed to listen to this advice. She bespoke, and was promised, the +friendship of the two sisters; and included in her request, through their +interests, mine; and Lady G---- was called in, by her sister, to join in +the promise. + +She desired that Sir Charles might be requested to walk in; but would not +suffer the sisters to withdraw, as they would have done, when he +returned. He could not but be polite; but, it seems, looked still +disturbed. I beg you to excuse, sir, said she, my behaviour to you: it +was passionate; it was unbecoming. But, in compliment to your own +consequence, you ought to excuse it. I have only to request one favour +of you: That you will suspend for one week, in regard to me, your +proposed journey; but for one week; and I will, now I am in England, stay +some months; perhaps till your return. + +Excuse me, madam. + +I will not excuse you--But one week, sir. Give me so much importance +with myself, as for one week's suspension. You will. You must. + +Indeed I cannot. My soul, I own to you, is in the distresses of the +family of Porretta. Why should I repeat what I said to you before? + +I have bespoken, sir, the civilities of your sisters, of your family: you +forbid them not? + +You expect not an answer, madam, to that question. My sisters will be +glad, and so will their lords, to attend you wherever you please, with a +hope to make England agreeable to you. + +How long do you propose to stay in Italy, sir? + +It is not possible for me to determine. + +Are you not apprehensive of danger to your person? + +I am not. + +You ought to be. + +No danger shall deter me from doing what I think to be right. If my +motives justify me, I cannot fear. + +Do you wish me, sir, to stay in England till your return? + +A question so home put, disturbed him. Was it a prudent one in the lady? +It must either subject her to a repulse; or him, by a polite answer, to +give her hope, that her stay in England might not be fruitless, as to the +view she had in coming. He reddened. It is fit, answered he, that your +own pleasure should determine you. It did, pardon me, madam, in your +journey hither. + +She reddened to her very ears. Your brother, ladies, has the reputation +of being a polite man: bear witness to this instance of it. I am ashamed +of myself! + +If I am unpolite, madam, my sincerity will be my excuse; at least to my +own heart. + +O, that inflexible heart! But, ladies, if the inhospitable Englishman +refuse his protection in his own country, to a foreign woman, of no mean +quality; do not you, his sisters, despise her. + +They, madam, and their lords, will render you every cheerful service. +Let me request you, my sisters, to make England as agreeable as possible +to this lady. She is of the first consideration in her own country: she +will be of such wherever she goes. My Lady Maffei deserves likewise your +utmost respect. Then addressing himself to them; Ladies, said he, +encourage my sisters: they will think themselves honoured by your +commands. + +The two sisters confirmed, in an obliging manner, what their brother had +said; and both ladies acknowledged themselves indebted to them for their +offered friendship: but Lady Olivia seemed not at all satisfied with +their brother: and it was with some difficulty he prevailed on her to +return to the company, and drink coffee. + +I could not help reflecting, on occasion of this lady's conduct, that +fathers and mothers are great blessings, to daughters, in particular, +even when women grown. It is not every woman that will shine in a state +of independency. Great fortunes are snares. If independent women escape +the machinations of men, which they have often a difficulty to do, they +will frequently be hurried by their own imaginations, which are said to +be livelier than those of men, though their judgments are supposed less, +into inconveniencies. Had Lady Olivia's parents or uncles lived, she +hardly would have been permitted to make the tour of Europe: and not +having so great a fortune to support vagaries, would have shone, as she +is well qualified to do, in a dependent state, in Italy, and made some +worthy man and herself happy. + +Had she a mind great enough to induce her to pity Clementina, I should +have been apt to pity her; for I saw her soul was disturbed. I saw that +the man she loved was not able to return her love: a pitiable case!--I +saw a starting tear now and then with difficulty dispersed. Once she +rubbed her eye, and, being conscious of observation, said something had +got into it: so it had. The something was a tear. Yet she looked with +haughtiness, and her bosom swelled with indignation ill concealed. + +Sir Charles repeated his recommendation of her to Lord L---- and Lord +G----. They offered their best services: Lord W---- invited her and all +of us to Windsor. Different parties of pleasure were talked of: but +still the enlivener of every party was not to be in any one of them. She +tried to look pleased; but did not always succeed in the trial: an eye of +love and anger mingled was often cast upon the man whom everybody loved. +Her bosom heaved, as it seemed sometimes, with indignation against +herself: that was the construction which I made of some of her looks. + +Lady Maffei, however, seemed pleased with the parties of pleasure talked +of. She often directed herself to me in Italian. I answered her in it +as well as I could. I do not talk it well: but as I am not an Italian, +and little more than book-learned in it, (for it is a long time ago since +I lost my grandpapa, who used to converse with me in it, and in French,) +I was not scrupulous to answer in it. To have forborne, because I did +not excel in what I had no opportunity to excel in, would have been false +modesty, nearly bordering upon pride. Were any lady to laugh at me for +not speaking well her native tongue, I would not return the smile, were +she to be less perfect in mine, than I am in hers. But Lady Olivia made +me a compliment on my faulty accent, when I acknowledged it to be so. +Signora, said she, you shew us, that a pretty mouth can give beauty to a +defect. A master teaching you, added she, would perhaps find some fault; +but a friend conversing with you, must be in love with you for the very +imperfection. + +Sir Charles was generously pleased with the compliment, and made her a +fine one on her observation. + +He attended the two ladies to their lodgings in his coach. He owned to +Dr. Bartlett, that Lady Olivia was in tears all the way, lamenting her +disgrace in coming to England, just as he was quitting it; and wishing +she had stayed at Florence. She would have engaged him to correspond +with her: he excused himself. It was a very afflicting thing to him, he +told the doctor, to deny any request that was made to him, especially by +a lady: but he thought he ought in conscience and honour to forbear +giving the shadow of an expectation that might be improved into hope, +where none was intended to be given. Heaven, he said, had, for laudable +ends, implanted such a regard in the sexes towards each other, that both +man and woman who hoped to be innocent, could not be too circumspect in +relation to the friendships they were so ready to contract with each +other. He thought he had gone a great way, in recommending an intimacy +between her and his sisters, considering her views, her spirit, her +perseverance, and the free avowal of her regard for him, and her menaces +on his supposed neglect of her. And yet, as she had come over, and he +was obliged to leave England so soon after her arrival; he thought he +could not do less: and he hoped his sisters, from whose example she might +be benefited, would, while she behaved prudently, cultivate her +acquaintance. + +The doctor tells me, that now Lady Olivia is so unexpectedly come hither +in person, he thinks it best to decline giving me, as he had once +intended, her history at large; but will leave so much of it as may +satisfy my curiosity, to be gathered from my own observation; and not +only from the violence and haughtiness of her temper, but from the +freedom of her declarations. He is sure, he said, that his patron will +be best pleased, that a veil should be thrown over the weaker part of her +conduct; which, were it known, would indeed be glorious to Sir Charles, +but not so to the lady; who, however, never was suspected, even by her +enemies, of giving any other man reason to tax her with a thought that +was not strictly virtuous: and she had engaged his pity and esteem, for +the sake of her other fine qualities, though she could not his love. +Before she saw him (which, it seems, was at the opera at Florence for the +first time, when he had an opportunity to pay her some slight civilities) +she set all men at defiance. + +To-morrow morning Sir Charles is to breakfast with me. My cousins and I +are to dine at Lord L----'s. The Earl and Lady Gertrude are also to be +there. Lord W---- has been prevailed upon to stay, and be there also, as +it is his nephew's last day in England.--'Last day in England!' O, my +Lucy! what words are those!--Lady L---- has invited Lady Olivia and her +aunt, at her own motion, Sir Charles (his time being so short) not +disapproving. + +I thank my grandmamma and aunt for their kind summons. I will soon set +my day: I will, my dear, soon set my day. + + + +LETTER XXVI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +FRIDAY NOON, APRIL 14. + + +Not five hours in bed; not one hour's rest for many uneasy nights before; +I was stupid till Sir Charles came: I then was better. He inquired, with +tender looks and voice, after my health; as if he thought I did not look +well. + +We had some talk about Lord and Lady G----. He was anxious for their +happiness. He complimented me with hopes from my advice to her. Lord +G----, he said, was a good-natured honest man. If he thought his sister +would make him unhappy, he should himself be so. + +I told him, that I dared to answer for her heart. My lord must bear with +some innocent foibles, and all would be well. + +We then talked of Lady Olivia. He began the subject, by asking me my +opinion of her. I said she was a very fine woman in her person; and that +she had an air of grandeur in her mien. + +And she has good qualities, said he; but she is violent in her passions. +I am frequently grieved for her. She is a fine creature in danger of +being lost, by being made too soon her own mistress. + +He said not one word of his departure to-morrow morning: I could not +begin it; my heart would not let me; my spirits were not high: and I am +afraid, if that key had been touched, I should have been too visibly +affected. My cousins forbore, upon the same apprehension. + +He was excessively tender and soothing to me, in his air, his voice, his +manner. I thought of what Emily said; that his voice, when he spoke of +me, was the voice of love. Dear flattering girl!--But why did she +flatter me? + +We talked of her next. He spoke of her with the tenderness of a father. +He besought me to love her. He praised her heart. + +Emily, said I, venerates her guardian. She never will do any thing +contrary to his advice. + +She is very young, replied he. She will be happy, madam, in yours. She +both loves and reverences you. + +I greatly love the dear Emily, sir. She and I shall be always sisters. + +How happy am I, in your goodness to her! Permit me, madam, to enumerate +to you my own felicities in that of my dearest friends. + +Mr. Beauchamp is now in the agreeable situation I have long wished him to +be in. His prudence and obliging behaviour to his mother-in-law, have +won her. His father grants him every thing through her; and she, by this +means, finds that power enlarged which she was afraid would be lessened, +if the son were allowed to come over. How just is this reward of his +filial duty! + +Thus, Lucy, did he give up the merit to his Beauchamp, which was solely +due to himself. + +Lord W----, he hoped, would be soon one of the happiest men in England: +and the whole Mansfield family had now fair prospects opening before +them. + +Emily [not he, you see] had made it the interest of her mother to be +quiet. + +Lord and Lady L---- gave him pleasure whenever he saw them, or thought of +them. + +Dr. Bartlett was in heaven, while on earth. He would retire to his +beloved Grandison-hall, and employ himself in distributing, as objects +offered, at least a thousand pounds of the three thousand bequeathed to +charitable uses by his late friend Mr. Danby. His sister's fortune was +paid. His estates in both kingdoms were improving.--See, madam, said he, +how like the friend of my soul I claim your attention to affairs that are +of consequence to myself; and in some of which your generosity of heart +has interested you. + +I bowed. Had I spoken, I had burst into tears. I had something arose in +my throat, I know not what. Still, thought I, excellent man, you are not +yourself happy!--O pity! pity! Yet, Lucy, he plainly had been +enumerating all these things, to take off from my mind that impression +which I am afraid he too well knows it is affected with, from his +difficult situation. + +And now, madam, resumed he, how are all my dear and good friends, whom +you more particularly call yours?--I hope to have the honour of a +personal knowledge of them. When heard you of our good Mr. Deane? He is +well, I hope. + +Very well, Sir. + +Your grandmamma Shirley, that ornament of advanced years? + +I bowed: I dared not to trust my voice. + +Your excellent aunt, Selby? + +I bowed again. + +Your uncle, your Lucy, your Nancy: Happy family! All harmony! all love! +--How do they? + +I wiped my eyes. + +Is there any service in my power to do them, or any of them? Command me, +good Miss Byron, if there be: my Lord W---- and I are one. Our influence +is not small.--Make me still more happy, in the power of serving any one +favoured by you. + +You oppress me, sir, by your goodness!--I cannot speak my grateful +sensibilities. + +Will you, my dear Mr. Reeves, will you, madam, (to my cousin,) employ me +in any way that I can be of use to you, either abroad or at home? Your +acquaintance has given me great pleasure. To what a family of worthies +has this excellent young lady introduced me! + +O, sir! said Mrs. Reeves, tears running down her cheeks, that you were +not to leave people whom you have made so happy in the knowledge of the +best of men! + +Indispensable calls must be obeyed, my dear Mrs. Reeves. If we cannot be +as happy as we wish, we will rejoice in the happiness we can have. We +must not be our own carvers.--But I make you all serious. I was +enumerating, as I told you, my present felicities: I was rejoicing in +your friendships. I have joy; and, I presume to say, I will have joy. +There is a bright side in every event; I will not lose sight of it: and +there is a dark one; but I will endeavour to see it only with the eye of +prudence, that I may not be involved by it at unawares. Who that is not +reproached by his own heart, and is blessed with health, can grieve for +inevitable evils; evils that can be only evils as we make them so? +Forgive my seriousness: my dear friends, you make me grave. Favour me, I +beseech you, my good Miss Byron, with one lesson: we shall be too much +engaged, perhaps, by and by. + +He led me (I thought it was with a cheerful air; but my cousins both say, +his eyes glistened) to the harpsichord: He sung unasked, but with a low +voice; and my mind was calmed. O, Lucy! How can I part with such a man? +How can I take my leave of him?--But perhaps he has taken his leave of me +already, as to the solemnity of it, in the manner I have recited. + + + +LETTER XXVII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SATURDAY MORNING, APRIL 15. + + +O, Lucy, Sir Charles Grandison is gone! Gone indeed! He set out at +three this morning; on purpose, no doubt, to spare his sisters, and +friends, as well as himself, concern. + +We broke not up till after two. Were I in the writing humour which I +have never known to fail me till now, I could dwell upon a hundred +things, some of which I can now only briefly mention. + +Dinner-time yesterday passed with tolerable cheerfulness: every one tried +to be cheerful. O what pain attends loving too well, and being too well +beloved! He must have pain, as well as we. + +Lady Olivia was the most thoughtful, at dinnertime; yet poor Emily! Ah, +the poor Emily! she went out four or five times to weep; though only I +perceived it. + +Nobody was cheerful after dinner but Sir Charles. He seemed to exert +himself to be so. He prevailed on me to give them a lesson on the +harpsichord. Lady L---- played: Lady G---- played: we tried to play, I +should rather say. He himself took the violin, and afterwards sat down +to the harpsichord, for one short lesson. He was not known to be such a +master: but he was long in Italy. Lady Olivia indeed knew him to be so. +She was induced to play upon the harpsichord: she surpassed every body. +Italy is the land of harmony. + +About seven at night he singled me out, and surprised me greatly by what +he said. He told me, that Lady D---- had made him a visit. I was before +low: I was then ready to sink. She has asked me questions, madam. + +Sir, sir! was all I could say. + +He himself trembled as he spoke.--Alas! my dear, he surely loves me! +Hear how solemnly he spoke--God Almighty be your director, my dear Miss +Byron! I wish not more happiness to my own soul, than I do to you.--In +discharge of a promise made, I mention this visit to you: I might +otherwise have spared you, and myself-- + +He stopt there--Then resumed; for I was silent. I could not speak--Your +friends will be entreated for a man that loves you; a very worthy young +nobleman.--I give you emotion, madam.--Forgive me.--I have performed my +promise. He turned from me with a seeming cheerful air. How could he +appear to be cheerful! + +We made parties at cards. I knew not what I played. Emily sighed, and +tears stole down her cheeks, as she played. O how she loves her +guardian! Emily, I say--I don't know what I write! + +At supper we were all very melancholy. Mr. Beauchamp was urgent to go +abroad with him. He changed the subject, and gave him an indirect +denial, as I may call it, by recommending the two Italian ladies to his +best services. + +Sir Charles, kind, good, excellent! wished to Lord L---- to have seen Mr. +Grandison!--unworthy as that man has made himself of his attention. + +He was a few moments in private with Lady Olivia. She returned to +company with red eyes. + +Poor Emily watched an opportunity to be spoken to by him alone--So +diligently!--He led her to the window--About one o'clock it was--He held +both her hands. He called her, she says, his Emily. He charged her to +write to him. + +She could not speak; she could only sob; yet thought she had a thousand +things to say to him. + +He contradicted not the hope his sisters and their lords had of his +breakfasting with them. They invited me; they invited the Italian +ladies: Lady L----, Lord L----, did go, in expectation: but Lady G----, +when she found him gone, sent me and the Italian ladies word, that he +was. It would have been cruel, if she had not. How could he steal away +so! I find, that he intended that his morning visit to me (as indeed I +half-suspected) should be a taking leave of my cousins, and your Harriet. +How many things did he say then--How many questions ask--In tender woe-- +He wanted to do us all service--He seemed not to know what to say--Surely +he hates not your poor Harriet--What struggles in his noble bosom!--But a +man cannot complain: a man cannot ask for compassion, as a woman can. +But surely his is the gentlest of manly minds! + +When we broke up, he handed my cousin Reeves into her coach. He handed +me. Mr. Reeves said, We see you again, Sir Charles, in the morning? He +bowed. At handing me in, he sighed--He pressed my hand--I think he did-- +That was all--He saluted nobody. He will not meet his Clementina as he +parted with us. + +But, I doubt not, Dr. Bartlett was in the secret. + + +He was. He has just been here. He found my eyes swelled. I had had no +rest; yet knew not, till seven o'clock, that he was gone. + +It was very good of the doctor to come: his visit soothed me: yet he took +no notice of my red eyes. Nay, for that matter, Mrs. Reeves's eyes were +swelled, as well as mine. Angel of a man! how is he beloved! + +The doctor says, that his sisters, their lords, Lord W----, are in as +much grief as if he were departed for ever--And who knows--But I will not +torment myself with supposing the worst: I will endeavour to bear in mind +what he said yesterday morning to us, no doubt for an instruction, that +he would have joy. + +And did he then think that I should be so much grieved as to want such an +instruction?--And, therefore, did he vouchsafe to give it?--But, vanity, +be quiet--Lie down, hope--Hopelesness, take place! Clementina shall be +his. He shall be hers. + +Yet his emotion, Lucy, at mentioning Lady D----'s visit--O! but that was +only owing to his humanity. He saw my emotion; and acknowledged the +tenderest friendship for me! Ought I not to be satisfied with that? I +am. I will be satisfied. Does he not love me with the love of mind? +The poor Olivia has not this to comfort herself with. The poor Olivia! +if I see her sad and afflicted, how I shall pity her! All her +expectations frustrated; the expectations that engaged her to combat +difficulties, to travel, to cross many waters, and to come to England--to +come just time enough to take leave of him; he hastening on the wings of +love and compassion to a dearer, a deservedly dearer object, in the +country she had quitted, on purpose to visit him in his--Is not hers a +more grievous situation than mine?--It is. Why, then, do I lament? + +But here, Lucy, let me in confidence hint, what I have gathered from +several intimations from Dr. Bartlett, though as tenderly made by him as +possible, that had Sir Charles Grandison been a man capable of taking +advantage of the violence of a lady's passion for him, the unhappy Olivia +would not have scrupled, great, haughty, and noble, as she is, by birth +and fortune, to have been his, without conditions, if she could not have +been so with: The Italian world is of this opinion, at least. Had Sir +Charles been a Rinaldo, Olivia had been an Armida. + +O that I could hope, for the honour of the sex, and of the lady who is so +fine a woman, that the Italian world is mistaken!--I will presume that it +is. + +My good Dr. Bartlett, will you allow me to accuse you of a virtue too +rigorous? That is sometimes the fault of very good people. You own that +Sir Charles has not, even to you, revealed a secret so disgraceful to +her. You own, that he has only blamed her for having too little regard +for her reputation, and for the violence of her temper: yet how +patiently, for one of such a temper, has she taken his departure, almost +on the day of her arrival! He could not have given her an opportunity to +indicate to him a concession so criminal: she could not, if he had, have +made the overture. Wicked, wicked world! I will not believe you! And +the less credit shall you have with me, Italian world, as I have seen the +lady. The innocent heart will be a charitable one. Lady Olivia is only +too intrepid. Prosperity, as Sir Charles observed, has been a snare to +her, and set her above a proper regard to her reputation.--Merciless +world! I do not love you. Dear Dr. Bartlett, you are not yet absolutely +perfect! These hints of yours against Olivia, gathered from the +malevolence of the envious, are proofs (the first indeed that I have met +with) of your imperfection! + +Excuse me, Lucy: how have I run on! Disappointment has mortified me, and +made me good-natured.--I will welcome adversity, if it enlarge my +charity. + +The doctor tells me, that Emily, with her half-broken heart, will be here +presently. If I can be of comfort to her--But I want it myself, from the +same cause. We shall only weep over each other. + +As I told you, the doctor, and the doctor only, knew of his setting out +so early. He took leave of him. Happy Dr. Bartlett!--Yet I see by his +eyes, that this parting cost him some paternal tears. + +Never father better loved a son than this good man loves Sir Charles +Grandison. + +Sir Charles, it seems, had settled all his affairs three days before. +His servants were appointed. + +The doctor tells me, that he had last week presented the elder Mr. Oldham +with a pair of colours, which he had purchased for him. Nobody had heard +of this. + +Lord W----, he says, is preparing for Windsor; Mr. Beauchamp for +Hampshire, for a few days; and then he returns to attend the commands of +the noble Italians. + +Lady Olivia will soon have her equipage ready. + +She will make a great appearance.--But Sir Charles Grandison will not be +with her. What is grandeur to a disturbed heart? + +The Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude are setting out for Hertfordshire. +Lord and Lady L---- talk of retiring, for a few weeks, to Colnebrook: the +Doctor is preparing for Grandison-hall; your poor Harriet for +Northamptonshire--Bless me, my dear, what a dispersion!--But Lord W----'s +nuptials will collect some of them together at Windsor. + + +*** + + +Emily, the dear weeping girl! is just come. She is with my cousins. She +expects my permission for coming up to me. Imagine us weeping over each +other; praying for, blessing the guardian of us both. Your imagination +cannot form a scene too tender. + +Adieu, my Lucy. + + + +LETTER XXVIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SUNDAY, APRIL 16. + + +O, what a blank, my dear!--but I need not say what I was going to say. +Poor Emily!--But, to mention her grief, is to paint my own. + +Lord W---- went to Windsor yesterday. + +A very odd behaviour of Lady Olivia. Mr. Beauchamp went yesterday, and +offered to attend her to any of the public places, at her pleasure; in +pursuance of Sir Charles's reference to him, to do all in his power to +make England agreeable to her: and she thought fit to tell him before her +aunt, that she thanked him for his civility; but she should not trouble +him during her stay in England. She had gentlemen in her train; and one +of them had been in England before-- + +He left her in disgust. + +Lady L---- making her a visit in the evening, she told her of Mr. +Beauchamp's offer, and of her answer. The gentleman, said she, is a +polite and very agreeable man; and this made me treat his kind offer with +abruptness: for I can hardly doubt your brother's view in it. I scorn +his view: and if I were sure of it, perhaps I should find a way to make +him repent of the indignity. Lady L---- was sure, she said, that neither +her brother, nor Mr. Beauchamp, had any other views than to make England +as agreeable to her as possible. + +Be this as it may, madam, said she, I have no service for Mr. Beauchamp: +but if your Ladyship, your sister, and your two lords, will allow me to +cultivate your friendship, you will do me honour. Dr. Bartlett's company +will be very agreeable to me likewise, as often as he will give it me. +To Miss Jervois I lay some little claim. I would have had her for my +companion in Italy; but your cruel brother--No more, however, of him. +Your English beauty too, I admire her: but, poor young creature, I admire +her the more, because I can pity her. I should think myself very happy +to be better acquainted with her. + +Lady L---- made her a very polite answer for herself and her sister, and +their lords: but told her, that I was very soon to set out for my own +abode in Northamptonshire; and that Dr. Bartlett had some commissions, +which would oblige him, in a day or two, to go to Sir Charles's seat in +the country. She herself offered to attend her to Windsor, and to every +other place, at her command. + +Lady L---- took notice of her wrist being bound round with a broad black +ribband, and asked, If it were hurt? A kind of sprain, said she. But +you little imagine how it came; and must not ask. + +This made Lady L---- curious. And Olivia requesting that Emily might be +allowed to breakfast with her as this morning; she has bid the dear girl +endeavour to know how it came, if it fell in her way: for Olivia +reddened, and looked up, with a kind of consciousness, to Lady L----, +when she told her that she must not ask questions about it. + +Lady G---- is very earnest with me to give into the town diversions for a +month to come: but I have now no desire in my heart so strong, as to +throw myself at the feet of my grandmamma and aunt; and to be embraced by +my Lucy and Nancy, and all my Northamptonshire friends. + +I am only afraid of my uncle. He will rally his Harriet; yet only, I +know, in hopes to divert her, and us all: but my jesting days are over: +my situation will not bear it. Yet if it will divert himself, let him +rally. + +I shall be so much importuned to stay longer than I ought, or will stay, +that I may as well fix a peremptory day at once. Will you, my ever +indulgent friends, allow me to set out for Selby-house on Friday +next? Not on a Sunday, as Lady Betty Williams advises, for fear of the +odious waggons. But I have been in a different school. Sir Charles +Grandison, I find, makes it a tacit rule with him, Never to begin a +journey on a Sunday; nor, except when in pursuit of works of mercy or +necessity, to travel in time of divine service. And this rule he +observed last Sunday, though he reached us here in the evening. O my +grandmamma! How much is he, what you all are, and ever have been!--But +he is now pursuing a work of mercy. God succeed to him the end of his +pursuit! + +But why tacit? you will ask. Is Sir Charles Grandison ashamed to make an +open appearance in behalf of his Christian duties? He is not. For +instance; I have never seen him sit down at his own table, in the absence +of Dr. Bartlett, or some other clergyman, but he himself says grace; and +that with such an easy dignity, as commands every one's reverence; and +which is succeeded by a cheerfulness that looks as if he were the better +pleased for having shewn a thankful heart. + +Dr. Bartlett has also told me, that he begins and ends every day, either +in his chamber, or in his study, in a manner worthy of one who is in +earnest in his Christian profession. But he never frights gay company +with grave maxims. I remember, one day, Mr. Grandison asked him, in his +absurd way, Why he did not preach to his company now and then? Faith, +Sir Charles, said he, if you did, you would reform many a poor ignorant +sinner of us; since you could do it with more weight, and more certainty +of attention, than any parson in Christendom. + +It would be an affront, said Sir Charles, to the understanding, as well +as education, of a man who took rank above a peasant, in such a country +as this, to seem to question whether he knew his general duties, or not, +and the necessity of practising what he knew of them. If he should be at +a loss, he may once a week be reminded, and his heart kept warm. Let you +and me, cousin Everard, shew our conviction by our practice; and not +invade the clergyman's province. + +I remember that Mr. Grandison shewed his conviction by his blushes; and +by repeating the three little words, You and me! Sir Charles. + + +*** + + +SUNDAY EVENING. + +O my dear friends! I have a strange, a shocking piece of intelligence to +give you! Emily has just been with me in tears: she begged to speak with +me in private. When we were alone, she threw her arms about my neck: Ah, +madam! said she, I am come to tell you, that there is a person in the +world that I hate, and must and will hate, as long as I live. It is Lady +Olivia.--Take me down with you into Northamptonshire, and never let me +see her more. + +I was surprised. + +O madam! I have found out, that she would, on Thursday last, have killed +my guardian. + +I was astonished, Lucy. + +They retired together, you know, madam: my guardian came from her, his +face in a glow; and he sent in his sister to her, and went not in himself +till afterwards. She would have had him put off his journey. She was +enraged because he would not; and they were high together; and, at last, +she pulled out of her stays, in fury, a poniard, and vowed to plunge it +into his heart. He should never, she said, see his Clementina more. He +went to her. Her heart failed her. Well it might, you know, madam. He +seized her hand. He took it from her. She struggled, and in struggling +her wrist was hurt; that's the meaning of the broad black ribband!-- +Wicked creature! to have such a thought in her heart!--He only said, when +he had got it from her, Unhappy, violent woman! I return not this +instrument of mischief! You will have no use for it in England--And +would not let her have it again. + +I shuddered. O my dear, said I, he has been a sufferer, we are told, by +good women; but this is not a good woman. But can it be true? Who +informed you of it? + +Lady Maffei herself. She thought that Sir Charles must have spoken of +it: and when she found he had not, she was sorry she had, and begged I +would not tell any body: but I could not keep it from you. And she says, +that Lady Olivia is grieved on the remembrance of it; and arraigns +herself and her wicked passion; and the more, for his noble forgiveness +of her on the spot, and recommending her afterwards to the civilities of +his sisters, and their lords. But I hate her, for all that. + +Poor unhappy Olivia! said I. But what, my Emily, are we women, who +should be the meekest and tenderest of the whole animal creation, when we +give way to passion! But if she is so penitent, let not the shocking +attempt be known to his sisters, or their lords. I may take the liberty +of mentioning it, in strict confidence, [observe that, Lucy,] to those +from whom I keep not any secret: but let it not be divulged to any of the +relations of Sir Charles. Their detestation of her, which must follow, +would not be concealed; and the unhappy creature, made desperate, might-- +Who knows what she might do? + +The dear girl ran on upon what might have been the consequence, and what +a loss the world would have had, if the horrid fact had been perpetrated. +Lady Maffei told her, however, that had not her heart relented, she might +have done him mischief; for he was too rash in approaching her. She fell +down on her knees to him, as soon as he had wrested the poniard from her. +I forgive, and pity you, madam, said he, with an air that had, as Olivia +and her aunt have recollected since, both majesty and compassion in it: +but, against her entreaty, he would withdraw: yet, at her request, sent +in Lady L---- to her; and, going into his study, told not even Dr. +Bartlett of it, though he went to him there immediately. + +From the consciousness of this violence, perhaps, the lady was more +temperate afterwards, even to the very time of his departure. + + +*** + + +Lord bless me, what shall I do? Lady D---- has sent a card to let me +know, that she will wait upon Mrs. Reeves and me to-marrow to breakfast. +She comes, no doubt, to tell me, that Sir Charles having no thoughts of +Harriet Byron, Lord D---- may have hopes of succeeding with her: and, +perhaps, her ladyship will plead Sir Charles's recommendation and +interest in Lord D----'s favour. But should this plea be made, good +Heaven give me patience! I am afraid I shall be uncivil to this +excellent woman. + + + +LETTER XXIX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +MONDAY, APRIL 17. + + +The countess is just gone. + +Mr. Reeves was engaged before to breakfast with Lady Betty Williams; and +we were only Mrs. Reeves, Lady D----, and I. + +My heart ached at her entrance; and every moment still more, as we were +at breakfast. Her looks, I thought, had such particular kindness and +meaning in them, as seemed to express, 'You have no hopes, Miss Byron, +any where else; and I will have you to be mine.' + +But my suspense was over the moment the tea-table was removed. I see +your confusion, my dear, said the countess: [Mrs. Reeves, you must not +leave us;] and I have sat in pain for you, as I saw it increase. By this +I know that Sir Charles Grandison has been as good as his word. Indeed I +doubted not but he would. I don't wonder, my dear, that you love him. +He is the finest man in his manners, as well as person, that I ever saw. +A woman of virtue and honour cannot but love him. But I need not praise +him to you; nor to you, neither, Mrs. Reeves; I see that. Now you must +know, proceeded she, that there is an alliance proposed for my son, of +which I think very well; but still should have thought better, had I +never seen you, my dear. I have talked to my lord about it: you know I +am very desirous to have him married. His answer was; I never can think +of any proposal of this nature, while I have any hope that I can make +myself acceptable to Miss Byron. + +What think you, my lord, said I, if I should directly apply to Sir +Charles Grandison, to know his intentions; and whether he has any hopes +of obtaining her favour? He is said to be the most unreserved of men. +He knows our characters to be as unexceptionable as his own; and that our +alliance cannot be thought a discredit to the first family in the +kingdom. It is a free question, I own; as I am unacquainted with him by +person: but he is such a man, that methinks I can take pleasure in +addressing myself to him on any subject. + +My lord smiled at the freedom of my motion; but, not disapproving it, I +directly went to Sir Charles; and, after due compliments, told him my +business. + +The countess stopt. She is very penetrating. She looked at us both. + +Well, madam, said my cousin, with an air of curiosity--Pray, your +ladyship-- + +I could not speak for very impatience-- + +I never heard in my life, said the countess, such a fine character of any +mortal, as he gave you. He told me of his engagements to go abroad as +the very next day. He highly extolled the lady for whose sake, +principally, he was obliged to go abroad; and he spoke as highly of a +brother of hers, whom he loved as if he were his own brother; and +mentioned very affectionately the young lady's whole family. + +'God only knows,' said he, 'what may be my destiny!--As generosity, as +justice, or rather as Providence, leads, I will follow.' + +After he had generously opened his heart, proceeded the countess, I asked +him, If he had any hope, should the foreign lady recover her health, of +her being his? + +'I can promise myself nothing,' said he. 'I go over without one selfish +hope. If the lady recover her health, and her brother can be amended in +his, by the assistance I shall carry over with me, I shall have joy +inexpressible. To Providence I leave the rest. The result cannot be in +my own power.' + +Then, sir, proceeded the countess, you cannot in honour be under any +engagements to Miss Byron? + +I arose from my seat. Whither, my dear?--I have done, if I oppress you. +I moved my chair behind hers, but so close to hers, that I leaned on the +back of it, my face hid, and my eyes running over. She stood up. Sit +down again, madam, said I, and proceed--Pray proceed. You have excited +my curiosity. Only let me sit here, unheeded, behind you. + +Pray, madam, said Mrs. Reeves, (burning also with curiosity, as she has +since owned,) go on; and indulge my cousin in her present seat. What +answer did Sir Charles return? + +My dear love, said the countess, (sitting down, as I had requested,) let +me first be answered one question. I would not do mischief. + +You cannot do mischief, madam, replied I. What is your ladyship's +question? + +Has Sir Charles Grandison ever directly made his addresses to you, my +dear? + +Never, madam. + +It is not for want of love, I dare aver, that he has not. But thus he +answered my question: 'I should have thought myself the unworthiest of +men, knowing the difficulties of my own situation, how great soever were +the temptation from Miss Byron's merit if I had sought to engage her +affections.' + +[O, Lucy! How nobly is his whole conduct towards me justified!] + +'She has, madam,' (proceeded the countess, in his words,) 'a prudence +that I never knew equalled in a woman so young. With a frankness of +mind, to which hardly ever young lady before her had pretensions, she has +such a command of her affections, that no man, I dare say, will ever have +a share in them, till he has courted her favour by assiduities which +shall convince her that he has no heart but for her.' + +O my Lucy! What an honour to me would these sentiments be, if I deserved +them! And can Sir Charles Grandison think I do?--I hope so. But if he +does, how much am I indebted to his favourable, his generous opinion! +Who knows but I have reason to rejoice, rather than to regret, as I used +to do, his frequent absences from Colnebrook? + +The countess proceeded. + +Then, sir, you will not take it amiss, if my son, by his assiduities, can +prevail upon Miss Byron to think that he has merit, and that his heart is +wholly devoted to her. + +'Amiss, madam!--No!--In justice, in honour, I cannot. May Miss Byron be, +as she deserves to be, one of the happiest women on earth in her +nuptials. I have heard a great character of Lord D----. He has a very +large estate. He may boast of his mother--God forbid, that I, a man +divided in myself, not knowing what I can do, hardly sometimes what I +ought to do, should seek to involve in my own uncertainties the friend I +revere; the woman I so greatly admire: her beauty so attracting; so +proper therefore for her to engage a generous protector in the married +state.' + +Generous man! thought I. O how my tears ran down my cheeks, as I hid my +face behind the countess's chair! + +But will you allow me, sir, proceeded the countess, to ask you, were you +freed from all your uncertainties-- + +'Permit me, madam,' interrupted he, 'to spare you the question you were +going to put. As I know not what will be the result of my journey +abroad, I should think myself a very selfish man, and a very +dishonourable one to two ladies of equal delicacy and worthiness, if I +sought to involve, as I hinted before, in my own uncertainties, a young +lady whose prudence and great qualities must make herself and any man +happy, whom she shall favour with her hand. + +'To be still more explicit,' proceeded he, With what face could I look up +to a woman of honour and delicacy, such a one as the lady before whom I +now stand, if I could own a wish, that, while my honour has laid me under +obligation to one lady, if she shall be permitted to accept of me, I +should presume to hope, that another, no less worthy, would hold her +favour for me suspended, till she saw what would be the issue of the +first obligation? No, madam; I could sooner die, than offer such +indignity to both! I am fettered, added he; but Miss Byron is free: and +so is the lady abroad. My attendance on her at this time, is +indispensable; but I make not any conditions for myself--My reward will +be in the consciousness of having discharged the obligations that I think +myself under, as a man of honour.' + +The countess's voice changed in repeating this speech of his: and she +stopt to praise him; and then went on. + +You are THE man, indeed, sir!--But then give me leave to ask you, as I +think it very likely that you will be married before your return to +England, Whether, now that you have been so good as to speak favourably +of my son, and that you call Miss Byron sister, you will oblige him with +a recommendation to that sister? + +'The Countess of D---- shews, by this request, her value for a young lady +who deserves it; and the more, for its being, I think, (excuse me, madam) +a pretty extraordinary one. But what a presumption would it be in me, to +suppose that I had SUCH an interest with Miss Byron, when she has +relations as worthy of her, as she is of them?' + +You may guess, my dear, said the countess, that I should not have put +this question, but as a trial of his heart. However, I asked his pardon; +and told him, that I would not believe he gave it me, except he would +promise to mention to Miss Byron, that I had made him a visit on this +subject. [Methinks, Lucy, I should have been glad that he had not let me +know that he was so forgiving!] + +And now, my dear, said the lady, let me turn about. She did; and put one +arm round my neck, and with my own handkerchief wiped my eyes, and kissed +my cheek; and when she saw me a little recovered, she addressed me as +follows: + +Now, my good young creature, [O that you would let me call you daughter +in my way! for I think I must always call you so, whether you do, or not] +let me ask you, as if I were your real mother, 'Have you any expectation +that Sir Charles Grandison will be yours?' + +Dear madam, is not this as hard a question to be put to me, as that which +you put to him? + +Yes, my dear--full as hard. And I am as ready to ask your pardon, as I +was his, if you are really displeased with me for putting it. Are you, +Miss Byron? Excuse me, Mrs. Reeves, for thus urging your lovely cousin: +I am at least entitled to the excuse Sir Charles Grandison made for me, +that it is a demonstration of my value for her. + +I have declared, madam, returned I, and it is from my heart, that I think +he ought to be the husband of the lady abroad: and though I prefer him to +all the men I ever saw, yet I have resolved, if possible, to conquer the +particular regard I have for him. He has in a very noble manner offered +me his friendship, so long as it may be accepted without interfering with +any other attachments on my part: and I will be satisfied with that. + +A friendship so pure, replied the countess, as that of such a man, is +consistent with any other attachments. My Lord D---- will, with his +whole soul, contribute all in his power to strengthen it: he admires Sir +Charles Grandison: he would think it a double honour to be acquainted +with him through you. Dearest Miss Byron, take another worthy young man +into your friendship, but with a tenderer name: I shall then claim a +fourth place in it for myself. O my dear! What a quadruple knot will +you tie! + +Your ladyship does me too much honour, was all I could just then reply. + +I must have an answer, my dear: I will not take up with a compliment. + +This, then, madam, is my answer--I hope I am an honest creature: I have +not a heart to give. + +Then you have expectations, my dear.--Well, I will call you mine, if I +can. Never did I think that I could have made the proposal, that I am +going to make you: but in my eyes, as well as in my lord's, you are an +incomparable young woman.--This is it.--We will not think of the alliance +proposed to us (it is yet but a proposal, and to which we have not +returned any answer) till we see what turn the affair Sir Charles is gone +upon, takes. You once said, you could prefer my son to any of the men +that had hitherto applied to you for your favour. Your affections to Sir +Charles were engaged before you knew us. Will you allow my son this +preference, which will be the first preference, if Sir Charles engages +himself abroad? + +Your ladyship surprises me: shall I not improve by the example you have +just now set before me? Who was it that said (and a man too) 'With what +face could I look up to a woman of honour and delicacy, such a one as the +lady before whom I now stand, if I could own a wish, that, while' my +heart leaned to one person, I should think of keeping another in suspense +till I saw whether I could or could not be the other's? 'No, madam, I +would sooner die,' as Sir Charles said, 'than offer such an indignity to +both.' But I know, madam, that you only made this proposal, as you did +another to Sir Charles Grandison, as a trial of my heart. + +Upon my word, my dear, I should, I think, be glad to be entitled to such +an excuse: but I was really in earnest; and now take a little shame to +myself. + +What charming ingenuousness in this lady! + +She clasped her arms about me, and kissed my cheek again. I have but one +plea, said she, to make for myself; I could not have fallen into such an +error, (the example so recently given to the contrary,) had I not wished +you to be, before any woman in the world, Countess of D----. Noble +creature! No title can give you dignity. May your own wishes be +granted! + +My cousin's eyes ran over with pleasure. + +The countess asked, When I returned to Northamptonshire? I told her my +intention. She charged me to see her first. But can tell you, said she, +my lord shall not be present when you come: not once more will I trust +him in your company; and if he should steal a visit, unknown to me, let +not your cousin see him, Mrs. Reeves. He does indeed admire you, love. + +I acknowledged, with a grateful heart, her goodness to me. She engaged +me to correspond with her when I got home. Her commands were an honour +done me, that I could not refuse myself. Her son, she smilingly told me, +should no more see my letters, than my person. + +At her going away--I will tell you one thing, said she: I never before, +in a business which my heart was set upon, was so effectually silenced by +a precedent produced by myself in the same conversation. I came with an +assurance of success. When our hearts are engaged in a hope, we are apt +to think every step we take for the promoting it, reasonable: Our +passions, my dear, will evermore run away with our judgment. But, now I +think of it, I must, when I say our, make two exceptions; one for you, +and one for Sir Charles Grandison. + +But, Lucy, tell me--May I, do you think, explain the meaning of the word +SELFISH used by Sir Charles in the conclusion of the library conference +at Colnebrook, (and which puzzled me then to make out,) by his +disclaiming of selfishness in the conversation with the countess above +recited? If I may, what an opening of his heart does that word give in +my favour, were he at liberty? Does it not look, my dear, as if his +honour checked him, when his love would have prompted him to wish me to +preserve my heart disengaged till his return from abroad? Nor let it be +said, that it was dishonourable in him to have such a thought, as it was +checked and overcome; and as it was succeeded by such an emotion, that he +was obliged to depart abruptly from me.--Let me repeat the words--You may +not have my letter at hand which relates that affecting address to me; +and it is impossible for me, while I have memory, to forget them. He had +just concluded his brief history of Clementina--'And now, madam, what can +I say?--Honour forbids me!--Yet honour bids me--Yet I cannot be unjust, +ungenerous, selfish!'--If I may flatter myself, Lucy, that he did love me +when he said this, and that he had a conflict in his noble heart between +the love on one side so hopeless, (for I could not forgive him, if he did +not love, as well as pity, Clementina,) and on the other not so hopeless, +were there to have been no bar between--Shall we not pity him for the +arduous struggle? Shall we not see that honour carried it, even in +favour of the hopeless against the hopeful, and applaud him the more for +being able to overcome? How shall we call virtue by its name, if it be +not tried; and if it hath no contest with inclination? + +If I am a vain self-flatterer, tell me, chide me, Lucy; but allow me, +however, at the same time, this praise, if I can make good my claim to +it, that my conquest of my passion is at least as glorious for me, as his +is for him, were he to love me ever so well; since I can most sincerely, +however painfully, subscribe to the preference which honour, love, +compassion, unitedly, give to CLEMENTINA. + + + +LETTER XXX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +MONDAY NIGHT. + + +My cousins and I, by invitation, supped with Lady G---- this evening. +Lord and Lady L---- were there; Lady Olivia also, and Lady Maffei. + +I have set them all into a consternation, as they expressed themselves, +by my declaration of leaving London on my return home early on Friday +morning next. I knew, that were I to pass the whole summer here, I must +be peremptory at last. The two sisters vow, that I shall not go so soon. +They say, that I have seen so few of the town diversions--Town +diversions, Lucy!--I have had diversion enough, of one sort!--But in your +arms, my dear friends, I shall have consolation--And I want it. + +I have great regrets, and shall have hourly more, as the day approaches, +on the leaving of such dear and obliging friends: but I am determined. + +My cousin's coach will convey me to Dunstable; and there, I know, I shall +meet with my indulgent uncle, or your brother. I would not have it +publicly known, because of the officious gentlemen in the neighbourhood. + +Dr. Bartlett intended to set out for Grandison-hall to-morrow: but from +the natural kindness of his heart he has suspended his journey to +Thursday next. No consideration, therefore, shall detain me, if I am +well. + +My cousins are grieved: they did not expect that I would be a word and a +blow, as they phrase it. + +Lady Olivia expressed herself concerned, that she, in particular, was to +lose me. She had proposed great pleasure, she said, in the parties she +should make in my company. But, after what Emily told me, she appears to +me as a Medusa; and were I to be thought by her a formidable rival, I +might have as much reason to be afraid of the potion, as the man she +loves of the poniard. Emily has kept the secret from every body but me. +And I rely on the inviolable secrecy of all you, my friends. + +Lord and Lady L---- had designed to go to Colnebrook to-morrow, or at my +day, having hopes of getting me with them: but now, they say, they will +stay in town till they can see whether I am to be prevailed upon, or will +be obdurate. + +Lady Olivia inquired after the distance of Northamptonshire. She will +make the tour of England, she says, and visit me there. I was obliged to +say I should take her visit as an honour. + +Wicked politeness! Of how many falsehoods dost thou make the people, who +are called polite, guilty! + +But there is one man in the world, who is remarkable for his truth, yet +is unquestionably polite. He censures not others for complying with +fashions established by custom; but he gives not in to them. He never +perverts the meaning of words. He never, for instance, suffers his +servants to deny him, when he is at home. If he is busy, he just finds +time to say he is, to unexpected visiters; and if they will stay, he +turns them over to his sisters, to Dr. Bartlett, to Emily, till he can +attend them. But then he has always done so. Every one knows that he +lives to his own heart, and they expect it of him; and when they can have +his company, they have double joy in the ease and cheerfulness that +attend his leisure: they then have him wholly. And he can be the more +polite, as the company then is all his business. + +Sir Charles might the better do so, as he came over so few months ago, +after so long an absence; and his reputation for politeness was so well +established, that people rather looked for rules from him, than a +conformity to theirs. + +His denials of complimenting Lady Olivia (though she was but just arrived +in his native country, where she never was before) with the suspending of +his departure for one week, or but for one day--Who but he could have +given them? But he was convinced, that it was right to hasten away, for +the sake of Clementina and his Jeronymo; and that it would have been +wrong to shew Olivia, even for her own sake, that in such a competition +she had consequence with him; and all her entreaties, all her menaces, +the detested poniard in her hand, could not shake his steady soul, and +make him delay his well-settled purpose. + + + +LETTER XXXI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY MORNING, APRIL 18. + + +This naughty Lady G----! She is excessively to blame. Lord L---- is out +of patience with her. So is Lady L----. Emily says, she loves her +dearly; but she does not love her ways. Lord G----, as Emily tells me, +talks of coming to me; the cause of quarrel supposed to be not great: but +trifles, insisted upon, make frequently the widest breaches. Whatever it +be, it is between themselves: and neither cares to tell: but Lord and +Lady L---- are angry with her, for the ludicrous manner in which she +treats him. + +The misunderstanding happened after my cousin and I left them last night. +I was not in spirits, and declined staying to cards. Lady Olivia and her +aunt went away at the same time. Whist was the game. Lord and Lady +L----, Dr. Bartlett and Emily, were cast in. In the midst of their play, +Lady G---- came hurrying down stairs to them, warbling an air. Lord +G---- followed her, much disturbed. Madam, I must tell you, said he--Why +MUST, my lord? I don't bid you. + +Sit still, child, said she to Emily; and took her seat behind her--Who +wins? Who loses? + +Lord G---- walked about the room--Lord and Lady L---- were unwilling to +take notice, hoping it would go off; for there had been a few +livelinesses on her side at dinner-time, though all was serene at supper. + +Dr. Bartlett offered her his cards. She refused them--No, doctor, said +she, I will play my own cards: I shall have enough to do to play them +well. + +As you manage it, so you will, madam, said Lord G----. + +Don't expose yourself, my lord: we are before company. Lady L----, you +have nothing but trumps in your hand. + +Let me say a word or two to you, madam, said Lord G---- to her. + +I am all obedience, my lord. + +She arose. He would have taken her hand: she put it behind her. + +Not your hand, madam? + +I can't spare it. + +He flung from her, and went out of the room. + +Lord bless me, said she, returning to the card-table with a gay +unconcern, what strange passionate creatures are these men! + +Charlotte, said Lady L----, I wonder at you. + +Then I give you joy-- + +What do you mean, sister?-- + +We women love wonder, and the wonderful! + +Surely, Lady G----, said Lord L----, you are wrong. + +I give your lordship joy, too. + +On what? + +That my sister is always right. + +Indeed, madam, were I Lord G----, I should have no patience. + +A good hint for you, Lady L----. I hope you will take this for a +warning, and be good. + +When I behave as you do, Charlotte-- + +I understand you, Lady L----, you need not speak out--Every one in their +way. + +You would not behave thus, were my brother-- + +Perhaps not. + +Dear Charlotte, you are excessively wrong. + +So I think, returned she. + +Why then do you not-- + +Mend, Lady L----? All in good time. + +Her woman came in with a message, expressing her lord's desire to see +her.--The deuce is in these men! They will neither be satisfied with us, +nor without us. But I am all obedience: no vow will I break--And out she +went. + +Lord G---- not returning presently, and Lord and Lady L----'s chariot +being come, they both took this opportunity, in order to shew their +displeasure, to go away without taking leave of their sister. Dr. +Bartlett retired to his apartment. And when Lady G---- came down, she +was surprised, and a little vexed, to find only Emily there. Lord G---- +came in at another door--Upon my word, my Lord, this is strange behaviour +in you: you fright away, with your husband-like airs, all one's company. + +Good God!--I am astonished at you, madam. + +What signifies your astonishment?--when you have scared every body out of +the house. + +I, madam! + +You, sir! Yes, you!--Did you not lord it over me in my dressing-room?-- +To be easy and quiet, did I not fly to our company in the drawing-room? +Did you not follow me there--with looks--very pretty looks for a +new-married man, I assure you! Then did you not want to take me aside-- +Would not anybody have supposed it was to express your sorrow for your +odd behaviour? Was I not all obedience?--Did you not, with very mannish +airs, slight me for my compliance, and fly out of the room? All the +company could witness the calmness with which I returned to them, that +they might not be grieved for me; nor think our misunderstanding a deep +one. Well, then, when your stomach came down, as I supposed, you sent +for me out: no doubt, thought I, to express his concern now.--I was all +obedience again. + +And did I not beseech you, madam-- + +Beseech me, my lord!--Yes--But with such looks!--I married, sir, let me +tell you, a man with another face--See, see, Emily--He is gone again.-- + +My lord flew out of the room in a rage.--O these men, my dear! said she +to Emily. + +I know, said Emily, what I could have answered, if I dared: but it is ill +meddling, as I have heard say, between man and wife. + +Emily says, the quarrel was not made up; but was carried higher still in +the morning. + +She had but just finished her tale, when the following billet was brought +me, from Lady G----: + + +*** + + +TUESDAY MORNING. + + +Harriet, + +If you love me, if you pity me, come hither this instant: I have great +need of your counsel. I am resolved to be unmarried; and therefore +subscribe myself by the beloved name of + +CHARLOTTE GRANDISON. + + +*** + + +I instantly dispatched the following: + +I Know no such person as Charlotte Grandison. I love Lady G----, but can +pity only her lord. I will not come near you. I have no counsel to give +you, but that you will not jest away your own happiness. + +HARRIET BYRON. + + +*** + + +In half an hour after, came a servant from Lady G---- with the following +letter: + +So, then, I have made a blessed hand of wedlock. My brother gone: my man +excessive unruly: Lord and Lady L---- on his side, without inquiring into +merits, or demerits: lectured by Dr. Bartlett's grave face: Emily +standing aloof; her finger in her eye: and now my Harriet renouncing me: +and all in one week! + +What can I do?--War seems to be declared: and will you not turn +mediatrix?--You won't, you say. Let it alone. Nevertheless, I will lay +the whole matter before you. + +It was last night, the week from the wedding-day not completed, that Lord +G---- thought fit to break into my retirement without my leave--By the +way, he was a little impertinent at dinner-time; but that I passed +over-- + +What boldness is this? said I--Pray, Sir, begone--Why leave you your +company below? + +I come, my dearest life! to make a request to you. + +The man began with civility enough, had he had a little less of his +odious rapture; for he flung his arms about me, Jenny in presence. A +husband's fondness is enough to ruin these girls. Don't you think, +Harriet, that there is an immorality in it, before them? + +I refuse your request, be it what it will. How dare you invade me in my +retirement?--You may believe, that I intended not to stay long above, my +sister below. Does the ceremony, so lately past, authorize want of +breeding? + +Want of breeding, madam!--And he did so stare! + +Leave me, this instant!--I looked good-natured, I suppose, in my anger; +for he declared he would not; and again throwing his arms about me as I +sat, joined his sharp face to mine, and presumed to kiss me; Jenny still +in the room. + +Now, Harriet, you never will desert me in a point of delicacy, I am sure. +You cannot defend these odious freedoms in a matrimony so young, unless +you would be willing to be served so yourself. + +You may suppose, that then I let loose my indignation upon him. And he +stole out, daring to mutter, and be displeased. The word devil was in +his mouth. + +Did he call me devil, Jenny? + +No, indeed, madam, said the wench--And, Harriet, see the ill example of +such a free behaviour before her: she presumed to prate in favour of the +man's fit of fondness; yet, at other times, is a prude of a girl. + +Before my anger was gone down, in again [It is truth, Harriet,] came the +bold wretch. I will not, said he, as you are not particularly employed, +leave you--Upon my soul, madam, you don't use me well. But if you will +oblige me with your company tomorrow morning-- + +No where, Sir-- + +Only to breakfast with Miss Byron, my dear--As a mark of your +obligingness, I request it. + +His dear!--Now I hate a hypocrite, of all things. I knew that he had a +design to make a shew of his bride, as his property, at another place; +and seeing me angry, thought he would name a visit agreeable to me, and +which at the same time would give him a merit with you, and preserve to +himself the consequence of being obliged by his obedient wife, at the +word of authority. + +From this foolish beginning arose our mighty quarrel. What vexed me was, +the art of the man, and the evident design he had to get you of his side. +He, in the course of it, threatened me with appealing to you.--To intend +to ruin me in the love of my dearest friend! Who, that valued that +friend, could forgive it? You may believe, that if he had not proposed +it, and after such accumulated offences, it was the very visit that I +should have been delighted with. + +Indeed, Sir--Upon my word, my lord--I do assure you, sir,--with a +moderate degree of haughtiness--was what the quarrel arose to, on my +side--And, at last, to a declaration of rebellion--I won't. + +On his side, Upon my soul, madam--Let me perish, if--and then hesitating +--You use me ill, madam. I have not deserved--And give me leave to say-- +I insist upon being obliged, madam. + +There was no bearing of this, Harriet.--It was a cool evening; but I took +up my fan--Hey-day! said I, what language is this?--You insist upon it, +my lord!--I think I am married; am I not?--And I took my watch, half an +hour after ten on Monday night--the--what day of the month is this?-- +Please the lord, I will note down this beginning moment of your +authoritative demeanour. + +My dear Lady G----, [The wretch called me by his own name, perhaps +farther to insult me,] if I could bear this treatment, it is impossible +for me to love you as I do. + +So it is in love to me, that you are to put on already all the husband!-- +Jenny! [Do you see, my lord, affecting a whisper, how you dash the poor +wench? How like a fool she looks at our folly!] Remember, Jenny, that +to-morrow morning you carry my wedding-suits to Mrs. Arnold; and tell +her, she has forgot the hanging-sleeves to the gowns. Let her put them +on out of hand. + +I was proceeding--But he rudely, gravely, and even with an air of scorn, +[There was no bearing that, you know,] admonished me. A little less wit, +madam, and a little more discretion, would perhaps better become you. + +This was too true to be forgiven. You'll say it, Harriet, if I don't. +And to come from a man that was not overburdened with either--But I had +too great a command of myself to say so. My dependence, my lord, [This I +did say,] is upon your judgment: that will always be a balance to my wit; +and, with the assistance of your reproving love, will in time teach me +discretion. + +Now, my dear, was not this a high compliment to him? Ought he not to +have taken it as such? Especially as I looked grave, and dropt him a +very fine courtesy. But either his conscience or his ill-nature, +(perhaps you'll say both,) made him take it as a reflection, [True as you +are alive, Harriet!] He bit his lip. Jenny, begone, said he--Jenny, +don't go, said I--Jenny knew not which to obey. Upon my word, Harriet, I +began to think the man would have cuffed me.--And while he was in his +airs of mock-majesty, I stept to the door, and whipt down to my company. + +As married people are not to expose themselves to their friends, (who I +once heard you sagely remark, would remember disagreeable things, when +the honest pair had forgotten them,) I was determined to be prudent. +You would have been charmed with me, my dear, for my discretion. I will +cheat by-standers, thought I; I will make my Lord and Lady L----, Dr. +Bartlett, and Emily, whom I had before set in at cards, think we are +egregiously happy--And down I sat, intending, with a lamb-like +peaceableness, to make observations on the play. But soon after, in +whipt my indiscreet lord, his colour heightened, his features working: +and though I cautioned him not to expose himself, yet he assumed airs +that were the occasion, as you shall hear, of frightening away my +company. He withdrew, in consequence of those airs; and, after a little +while, (repenting, as I hoped,) he sent for me out. Some wives would +have played the queen Vashti on their tyrant, and refused to go: but I, +all obedience, (my vow, so recently made, in my head,) obeyed, at the +very first word: yet you must think that I (meek as I am naturally) could +not help recriminating. He was too lordly to be expostulated with.-- +There was, 'I tell you, madam,' and 'I won't be told, sir;' and when I +broke from the passionate creature, and hoped to find my company, behold! +they were all gone! None but Emily left. And thus might poor Lady L---- +be sent home, weeping, perhaps, for such an early marriage-tyranny +exerted on her meek sister. + +Well, and don't you think that we looked like a couple of fools at each +other, when we saw ourselves left alone, as I may say, to fight it out? +I did expostulate with him as mildly as I could: he would have made it up +with me afterwards; but, no! there was no doing that, as a girl of your +nice notions may believe, after he had, by his violent airs, exposed us +both before so many witnesses. In decency, therefore, I was obliged to +keep it up: and now our misunderstanding blazes, and is at such a +comfortable height, that if we meet by accident, we run away from each +other by design. We have already made two breakfast-tables: yet I am +meek; he is sullen: I make courtesies; he returns not bows.--Sullen +creature, and a rustic!--I go to my harpsichord; melody enrages him. He +is worse than Saul; for Saul could be gloomily pleased with the music +even of the man he hated. + +I would have got you to come to us: that I thought was tending to a +compliance; for it would have been condescending too much, as he is so +very perverse, if I had accompanied him to you. He has a great mind to +appeal to you; but I have half rallied him out of his purpose. I sent to +you. What an answer did you return me!--Cruel Harriet! to deny your +requested mediation in a difference that has arisen between man and wife. +--But let the fire glow. If it spares the house, and only blazes in the +chimney, I can bear it. + +Cross creature, adieu! If you know not such a woman as Grandison, Heaven +grant that I may; and that my wishes may be answered as to the person; +and then I will not know a Byron. + + +See, Lucy, how high this dear flighty creature bribes! But I will not be +influenced, by her bribery, to take her part. + + + +LETTER XXXII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY NIGHT. + + +I am just returned from St. James's-square. + +But, first, I should tell you, that I had a visit from Lady Olivia and +Lady Maffei. Our conversation was in Italian and French. Lady Olivia +and I had a quarter of an hour's discourse in private: you may guess at +our subject. She is not without that tenderness of heart which is the +indispensable characteristic of a woman. She lamented the violence of +her temper, in a manner so affecting, that I cannot help pitying her, +though at the instant I had in my head a certain attempt, that makes me +shudder whenever I think of it. She regrets my going to Northamptonshire +so soon. I have promised to return her visit to-morrow in the afternoon. + +She sets out on Friday next for Oxford. She wished I could accompany +her. She resolves to see all that is worth seeing in the western +circuit, as I may call it. She observes, she says, that Sir Charles +Grandison's sisters, and their lords, are very particularly engaged at +present; and are in expectation of a call to Windsor, to attend Lord +W----'s nuptials: she will therefore, having attendants enough, and two +men of consideration in her train, one of whom is not unacquainted with +England, take cursory tours over the kingdom; having a taste for +travelling, and finding it a great relief to her spirits: and when Lady +L---- and Lady G---- are more disengaged, will review the seats and +places which she shall think worthy of a second visit, in their company. + +She professed to like the people here, and the face of the country; and +talked favourably of the religion of it: but, poor woman! she likes all +those the better, I doubt not, for the sake of one Englishman. Love, +Lucy, gilds every object which bears a relation to the person beloved. + +Lady Maffei was very free in blaming her niece for this excursion. She +took her chiding patiently; but yet, like a person that thought it too +much in her power to gratify the person blaming her, to pay much regard +to what she said. + +I took a chair to Lady G----'s. Emily ran to meet me in the hall. She +threw her arms about me: I rejoice you are come, said she. Did you not +meet the house in the square?--What means my Emily?--Why, it has been +flung out of the windows, as the saying is. Ah madam! we are all to +pieces. One so careless, the other so passionate!--But, hush! Here +comes Lady G----. + +Take, Lucy, in the dialogue-way, particulars. + +LADY G. Then you are come, at last, Harriet. You wrote, that you +would not come near me. + +HAR. I did; but I could not stay away. Ah, Lady G----, you will +destroy your own happiness! + +LADY G. So you wrote. Not one word, on the subject you hint at, that +you have ever said or written before. I hate repetitions, child. + +HAR. Then I must be silent upon it. + +LADY G. Not of necessity. You can say new things upon old subjects.-- +But hush! Here comes the man.--She ran to her harpsichord--Is this it, +Harriet? and touched the keys--repeating + + "Softly sweet, in Lydian measures, + Soon she sooth'd---- ----" + + +ENTER LORD G. + + +LORD G. Miss Byron, I am your most obedient servant. The sight of you +rejoices my soul.--Madam (to his lady), you have not been long enough +together to begin a tune. I know what this is for-- + +LADY G. Harmony! harmony! is a charming thing! But I, poor I! know not +any but what this simple instrument affords me. + +LORD G. [Lifting up his hands.] Harmony, madam! God is my witness-- +But I will lay every thing before Miss Byron. + +LADY G. You need not, my lord: she knows as much as she can know, +already; except the fine colourings be added to the woeful tale, that +your unbridled spirit can give it.--Have you my long letter about you, +Harriet? + +LORD G. And could you, madam, have the heart to write-- + +LADY G. Why, my lord, do you mince the matter? For heart, say +courage. You may speak as plain in Miss Byron's presence, as you did +before she came: I know what you mean. + +LORD G. Let it be courage, then. + +HAR. Fie, fie, Lord G----! Fie, fie, Lady G----! What lengths do you +run! If I understand the matter right, you have both, like children, +been at play, till you have fallen out. + +LORD G. If, Miss Byron, you know the truth, and can blame me-- + +HAR. I blame you only, my lord, for being in a passion. You see, my +lady is serene: she keeps her temper: she looks as if she wanted to be +friends with you. + +LORD G. O that cursed serenity!--When my soul is torn by a +whirlwind-- + +LADY G. A good tragedy rant!--But, Harriet, you are mistaken: My Lord +G---- is a very passionate man. So humble, so--what shall I call it? +before marriage--Did not the man see what a creature I was?--To bear with +me, when he had no obligation to me; and not now, when he has the +highest--A miserable sinking!--O Harriet, Harriet! Never, never marry! + +HAR. Dear Lady G----, you know in your own heart you are wrong--Indeed +you are wrong-- + +LORD G. God for ever reward you, madam!--I will tell you how it +began-- + +LADY G. 'Began!' She knows that already, I tell you, my lord. But +what has passed within these four hours, she knows not: you may entertain +her with that, if you please.--It was just about the time this day is a +week, that we were altogether, mighty comfortably, at St. George's, +Hanover-square-- + +LORD G. Every tittle of what you promised there, madam-- + +LADY G. And I, my lord, could be your echo in this, were I not resolved +to keep my temper, as you cannot but say I have done, all along. + +LORD G. You could not, madam, if you did not despise me. + +LADY G. You are wrong, my lord, to think so: but you don't believe +yourself: if you did, the pride of your heart ought not to permit you to +own it. + +LORD G. Miss Byron, give me leave-- + +LADY G. Lord bless me! that people are so fond of exposing themselves! +Had you taken my advice, when you pursued me out of my dressing-room into +company--My lord, said I, as mildly as I now speak, Don't expose +yourself. But he was not at all the wiser for my advice. + +LORD G. Miss Byron, you see--But I had not come down but to make my +compliments to you. He bowed, and was about to withdraw. + +I took him by the sleeve--My lord, you must not go. Lady G----, if your +own heart justifies you for your part in this misunderstanding, say so; I +challenge you to say so.--She was silent. + +HAR. If otherwise, own your fault, promise amendment--ask pardon. + +LADY G. Hey-day! + +HAR. And my lord will ask yours, for mistaking you--For being too +easily provoked-- + +LORD G. Too easily, madam-- + +HAR. What generous man would not smile at the foibles of a woman whose +heart is only gay with prosperity and lively youth; but has not the least +malice in it? Has not she made choice of your lordship in preference of +any other man? She rallies every one; she can't help it: she is to +blame.--Indeed, Lady G----, you are. Your brother felt your edge; he +once smarted by it, and was angry with you.--But afterwards, observing +that it was her way, my lord; that it was a kind of constitutional gaiety +of heart, and exercised on those she loved best; he forgave, rallied her +again, and turned her own weapons upon her; and every one in company was +delighted with the spirit of both.--You love her, my lord. + +LORD G. Never man more loved a woman. I am not an ill-natured man-- + +LADY G. But a captious, a passionate one, Lord G----. Who'd have +thought it? + +LORD G. Never was there, my dear Miss Byron, such a +strangely-aggravating creature! She could not be so, if she did not +despise me. + +LADY G. Fiddle-faddle, silly man! And so you said before. If you +thought so, you take the way, (don't you?) to mend the matter, by dancing +and capering about, and putting yourself into all manner of disagreeable +attitudes; and even sometimes being ready to foam at the mouth?--I told +him, Miss Byron, There he stands, let him deny it, if he can; that I +married a man with another face. Would not any other man have taken this +for a compliment to his natural undistorted face, and instantly have +pulled off the ugly mask of passion, and shewn his own?-- + +LORD G. You see, you see, the air, Miss Byron!--How ludicrously does +she now, even now-- + +LADY G. See, Miss Byron!--How captious!--Lord G---- ought to have a +termagant wife: one who could return rage for rage. Meekness is my +crime.--I cannot be put out of temper.--Meekness was never before +attributed to woman as a fault. + +LORD G. Good God!--Meekness!--Good God! + +LADY G. But, Harriet, do you judge on which side the grievance lies.-- +Lord G---- presents me with a face for his, that I never saw him wear +before marriage: He has cheated me, therefore. I shew him the same face +that I ever wore, and treat him pretty much in the same manner (or I am +mistaken) that I ever did: and what reason can he give, that will not +demonstrate him to be the most ungrateful of men, for the airs he gives +himself? Airs that he would not have presumed to put on eight days ago. +Who then, Harriet, has reason to complain of grievance; my lord, or I? + +LORD G. You see, Miss Byron--Can there be any arguing with a woman who +knows herself to be in jest, in all she says? + +HAR. Why then, my lord, make a jest of it. What will not bear an +argument, will not be worth one's anger. + +LORD G. I leave it to Miss Byron, Lady G----, to decide between us, as +she pleases. + +LADY G. You'd better leave it to me, sir. + +HAR. Do, my lord. + +LORD G. Well, madam!--And what is your decree? + +LADY G. You, Miss Byron, had best be Lady Chancellor, after all. I +should not bear to have my decree disputed, after it is pronounced. + +HAR. If I must, my decree is this:--You, Lady G---- shall own yourself +in fault; and promise amendment. My lord shall forgive you; and promise +that he will, for the future, endeavour to distinguish between your good +and your ill-nature: that he will sit down to jest with your jest, and +never be disturbed at what you say, when he sees it accompanied with that +archness of eye and lip which you put on to your brother, and to every +one whom you best love, when you are disposed to be teazingly facetious. + +LADY G. Why, Harriet, you have given Lord G---- a clue to find me out, +and spoil all my sport. + +HAR. What say you, my lord? + +LORD G. Will Lady G---- own herself in fault, as you propose? + +LADY G. Odious recrimination!--I leave you together. I never was in +fault in my life. Am I not a woman? If my lord will ask pardon for his +froppishness, as we say of children-- + +She stopt, and pretended to be going-- + +HAR. That my lord shall not do, Charlotte. You have carried the jest +too far already. My lord shall preserve his dignity for his wife's sake. +My lord, you will not permit Lady G---- to leave us, however? + +He took her hand, and pressed it with his lips: for God's sake, madam, +let us be happy: it is in your power to make us both so: it ever shall be +in your power. If I have been in fault, impute it to my love. I cannot +bear your contempt; and I never will deserve it. + +LADY G. Why could not this have been said some hours ago?--Why, +slighting my early caution, would you expose yourself? + +I took her aside. Be generous, Lady G----. Let not your husband be the +only person to whom you are not so. + +LADY G. [Whispering.] Our quarrel has not run half its length. If we +make up here, we shall make up clumsily. One of the silliest things in +the world is, a quarrel that ends not, as a coachman after a journey +comes in, with a spirit. We shall certainly renew it. + +HAR. Take the caution you gave to my lord: don't expose yourself. And +another; that you cannot more effectually do so, than by exposing your +husband. I am more than half-ashamed of you. You are not the Charlotte +I once thought you were. Let me see, if you have any regard to my good +opinion of you, that you can own an error with some grace. + +LADY G. I am a meek, humble, docile creature. She turned to me, and +made me a rustic courtesy, her hands before her: I'll try for it: tell +me, if I am right. Then stepping towards my lord, who was with his back +to us looking out at the window--and he turning about to her bowing--My +lord, said she, Miss Byron has been telling me more than I knew before of +my duty. She proposes herself one day to make a won-der-ful obedient +wife. It would have been well for you, perhaps, had I had her example to +walk by. She seems to say, that, now I am married, I must be grave, +sage, and passive: that smiles will hardly become me: that I must be prim +and formal, and reverence my husband.--If you think this behaviour will +become a married woman, and expect it from me, pray, my lord, put me +right by your frowns, whenever I shall be wrong. For the future, if I +ever find myself disposed to be very light-hearted, I will ask your leave +before I give way to it. And now, what is next to be done? humorously +courtesying, her hands before her. + +He clasped her in his arms: dear provoking creature! This, this is next +to be done--I ask you but to love me half as much as I love you, and I +shall be the happiest man on earth. + +My lord, said I, you ruin all by this condescension on a speech and air +so ungracious. If this is all you get by it, never, never, my lord, fall +out again. O Charlotte! If you are not generous, you come off much, +much too easily. + +Well now, my lord, said she, holding out her hand, as if threatening me, +let you and me, man and wife like, join against the interposer in our +quarrels.--Harriet, I will not forgive you, for this last part of your +lecture. + +And thus was this idle quarrel made up. All that vexes me on the +occasion is, that it was not made up with dignity on my lord's part. +His honest heart so overflowed with joy at his lips, that the naughty +creature, by her arch leers, every now and then, shewed, that she was +sensible of her consequence to his happiness. But, Lucy, don't let her +sink too low in your esteem: she has many fine qualities. + +They prevailed on me to stay supper. Emily rejoiced in the +reconciliation: her heart was, as I may say, visible in her joy. Can I +love her better than I do? If I could, she would, every time I see her, +give me reason for it. + + + +LETTER XXXIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY NOON, APRIL 19. + + +It would puzzle you to guess at a visitor I had this morning.--Honest Mr. +Fowler. I was very glad to see him. He brought me a Letter from his +worthy uncle. Good Sir Rowland! I had a joy that I thought I should not +have had while I stayed in London, on its being put into my hand, though +the contents gave me sensible pain. I enclose it. It is dated from +Caermarthen. Be pleased to read it here. + + +*** + + +CAERMARTHEN, APRIL 11. + +How shall I, in fit manner, inscribe my letter to the loveliest of women! +I don't mean because of your loveliness; but whether as daughter or not, +as you did me the honour to call yourself. Really, and truly, I must +say, that I had rather call you by another name, though a little more +remote as to consanguinity. Lord have mercy upon me, how have I talked +of you! How many of our fine Caermarthen girls have I filled with envy +of your peerless perfections! + +Here am I settled to my heart's content, could I but obtain--You know +whom I mean.--A town of gentry: A fine country round us--A fine estate of +our own. Esteemed, nay, for that matter, beloved, by all our neighbours +and tenants. Who so happy as Rowland Meredith, if his poor boy could be +happy!--Ah, madam!--And can't it be so? I am afraid of asking. Yet I +understand, that, notwithstanding all the jack-a-dandies that have been +fluttering about you, you are what you were when I lest town. Some +whispers have gone out of a fine gentleman, indeed, who had a great +kindness for you; but yet that something was in the way between you. The +Lord bless and prosper my dear daughter, as I must then call you, and not +niece, if you have any kindness for him. And if as how you have, it +would be wonderfully gracious if you would but give half a hint of it to +my nephew, or if so be you will not to him, to me, your father you know, +under your own precious hand. The Lord be good unto me! But I shall +never see the she that will strike my fancy, as you have done. But what +a dreadful thing would it be, if you, who are so much courted and admired +by many fine gallants, should at last be taken with a man who could not +be yours! God forbid that such a disastrous thing should happen! I +profess to you, madam, that a tear or two have strayed down my cheeks at +the thoughts of it. For why? Because you played no tricks with any man: +you never were a coquette, as they call them. You dealt plainly, +sincerely, and tenderly too, to all men; of which my nephew and I can +bear witness. + +Well, but what now is the end of my writing?--Lord love you, cannot, +cannot you at last give comfort to two honest hearts? Honester you never +knew! And yet, if you could, I dare say you would. Well, then, and if +you can't, we must sit down as contented as we can; that's all we have +for it.--But, poor young man! Look at him, if you read this before him. +Strangely altered! Poor young man!--And if as how you cannot, why then, +God bless my daughter; that's all. And I do assure you, that you have +our prayers every Lord's day, from the bottom of our hearts. + +And now, if you will keep a secret, I will tell it you; and yet, when I +began, I did not intend it: the poor youth must not know it. It is done +in the singleness of our hearts; and if you think we mean to gain your +love for us by it, I do assure you, that you wrong us.--My nephew +declares, that he never will marry, if it be not somebody: and he has +made his will, and so have I his uncle; and, let me tell you, that if as +how I cannot have a niece, my daughter shall be the better for having +known, and treated as kindly, as power was lent her, + +Her true friend, loving father, and obedient servant, +ROWLAND MEREDITH. + +Love and service to Mr. and Mrs. Reeves, and all friends who inquire + after me. Farewell. God bless you! Amen. + + +*** + + +Have you, could you, Lucy, read this letter with dry eyes? Generous, +worthy, honest men! I read but half way before Mr. Fowler--Glad I was, +that I read no further. I should not have been able to have kept his +uncle's secret, if I had; had it been but to disclaim the acceptance of +the generous purpose. The carrying it into effect would exceedingly +distress me, besides the pain the demise of the honest man would give me; +and the more, as I bespoke the fatherly relation from him myself. If +such a thing were to be, Sir Charles Grandison's generosity to the Danbys +should be my example. + +Do you know, Mr. Fowler, said I, the contents of the letter you have put +into my hand? + +No farther than that my uncle told me, it contained professions of +fatherly love; and with wishes only--But without so much as expressing +his hopes. + +Sir Rowland is a good man, said I: I have not read above half his letter. +There seems to be too much of the father in it, for me to read further, +before my brother. God bless my brother Fowler, and reward the fatherly +love of Sir Rowland to his daughter Byron! I must write to him. + +Mr. Fowler, poor man! profoundly sighed; bowed; with such a look of +respectful acquiescence--Bless me, my dear, how am I to be distressed on +all sides! by good men too; as Sir Charles could say by good women. + +Is there nothing less than giving myself to either, that I can do to shew +Mr. Orme and Mr. Fowler my true value for them? + +Poor Mr. Fowler!--Indeed he looks to be, as Sir Rowland hints, not well. +--Such a modest, such a humble, such a silent lover!--He cost me tears at +parting: I could not hide them. He heaped praises and blessings upon me, +and hurried away at last, to hide his emotion, with a sentence +unfinished.--God preserve you, dear and worthy sir! was all I could try +to say. The last words stuck in my throat, till he was out of hearing; +and then I prayed for blessings upon him and his uncle: and repeated +them, with fresh tears, on reading the rest of the affecting letter. + +Mr. Fowler told Mr. Reeves, before I saw him, that he is to go to +Caermarthen for the benefit of his native air, in a week. He let him +know where he lodged in town. He had been riding for his health and +diversion about the country, ever since his uncle went; and has not been +yet at Caermarthen. + +I wish Mr. Fowler had once, if but once, called me sister: it would have +been such a kind acquiescence, as would have given me some little +pleasure on recollection. Methinks I don't know how to have done writing +of Sir Rowland and Mr. Fowler. + +I sat down, however, while the uncle and nephew filled my thoughts, and +wrote to the former. I have enclosed the copy of my letter. + +Adieu, my Lucy. + + + +LETTER XXXIV + +MISS BYRON, TO SIR ROWLAND MEREDITH +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19. + + +It was with great pleasure that I received, this day, the kindest Letter +that ever was written by a real father to his dearest child. I was +resolved that I would not go to rest till I had acknowledged the favour. + +How sweet is the name of father to a young person who, out of near +one-and-twenty years of life, has for more than half the time been +bereaved of hers; and who was also one of the best of men! + +You gave me an additional pleasure in causing this remembrance of your +promised paternal goodness to be given me by Mr. Fowler in person. Till +I knew you and him, I had no father, no brother. + +How good you are in your apprehensions that there may be a man on whom +your daughter has cast her eye, and who cannot look upon her with the +same distinction--O that I had been near you when you wrote that +sweetly-compassionating, that indulgent passage! I would have wiped the +tears from your eyes myself, and reverenced you as my true father. + +You demand of me, as my father, a hint, or half a hint, as you call it, +to be given to my brother Fowler; or if not to him, to you. To him, whom +I call father, I mean all the duty of a child. I call him not father +nominally only: I will, irksome as the subject is, own, without reserve, +the truth to you--[In tenderness to my brother, how could I to him?]-- +There is a man whom, and whom only, I could love as a good wife ought to +love her husband. He is the best of men. O my good Sir Rowland +Meredith! if you knew him, you would love him yourself, and own him for +your son. I will not conceal his name from my father: Sir Charles +Grandison is the man. Inquire about him. His character will rise upon +you from every mouth. He engaged first all your daughter's gratitude, by +rescuing her from a great danger and oppression; for he is as brave as he +is good: and how could she help suffering a tenderness to spring up from +her gratitude, of which she was never before sensible to any man in the +world? There is something in the way, my good sir; but not that proceeds +from his slights or contempts. Your daughter could not live, if it were +so. A glorious creature is in the way! who has suffered for him, who +does suffer for him: he ought to be hers, and only hers; and if she can +be recovered from a fearful malady that has seized her mind, he probably +will. My daily prayers are, that God will restore her! + +But yet, my dear sir, my friend, my father! my esteem for this noblest of +men is of such a nature, that I cannot give my hand to any other: my +father Meredith would not wish me to give a hand without a heart. + +This, sir, is the case. Let it, I beseech you, rest within your own +breast, and my brother Fowler's. How few minds are there delicate and +candid enough to see circumstances of this kind in the light they ought +to appear in! And pray for me, my good Sir Rowland; not that the way may +be smoothed to what once would have crowned my wishes as to this life; +but that Sir Charles Grandison may be happy with the lady that is, and +ought to be, dearest to his heart; and that your daughter may be enabled +to rejoice in their felicity. What, my good sir, is this span of life, +that a passenger through it should seek to overturn the interests of +others to establish her own? And can the single life be a grievance? +Can it be destitute of the noblest tendernesses? No, sir. You that have +lived to an advanced age, in a fair fame, surrounded with comforts, and +as tender to a worthy nephew, as the most indulgent father could be to +the worthiest of sons, can testify for me, that it is not. + +But now, sir, one word--I disclaim, but yet in all thankfulness, the +acceptance of the favour signified to be intended me in the latter part +of the paternal letter before me. Our acquaintance began with a hope, on +your side, that I could not encourage. As I could not, shall I accept of +the benefit from you, to which I could only have been entitled (and that +as I had behaved) had I been able to oblige you?--No, sir! I will not, +in this case, be benefited, when I cannot benefit. Put me not therefore, +I beseech you, sir, if such an event (deplored by me, as it would be!) +should happen, upon the necessity of inquiring after your other relations +and friends. Sir Rowland Meredith my father, and Mr. Fowler my brother, +are all to me of the family they distinguish by their relation, that I +know at present. Let me not be made known to the rest by a distinction +that would be unjust to them, and to yourself, as it must deprive you of +the grace of obliging those who have more than a stranger's claim; and +must, in the event, lay them under the appearance of an obligation to +that stranger for doing them common justice. + +I use the word stranger with reference to those of your family and +friends to whom I must really appear in that light. But, laying these +considerations aside, in which I am determined not to interfere with +them, I am, with the tenderest regard, dear and good sir, + +Your ever-dutiful and affectionate daughter, +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XXXV + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19. + + +I shall dispatch this by your Gibson early in the morning. It was kind +in you to bid him call, in his way down; for now I shall be almost sure +of meeting (if not my uncle) your brother, and who knows, but my Lucy +herself, at Dunstable? Where, barring accidents, I shall be on Friday +night. + +You will see some of the worthiest people in the world, my dear, if you +come, all prepared to love you: but let not any body be put to +inconvenience to meet me at Dunstable. My noble friends here will +proceed with me to Stratford, or even to Northampton, they say; but they +will see me safe in the protection of somebody I love, and whom they must +love for my sake. + +I don't wonder that Sir Charles Grandison loves Mr. Beauchamp: he is a +very worthy and sensible man. He, as every body else, idolizes Sir +Charles. It is some pleasure to me, Lucy, that I stand high in his +esteem. To be respected by the worthy, is one of the greatest felicities +in this life; since it is to be ranked as one of them. Sir Harry and his +lady are come to town. All, it seems, is harmony in that family. They +cannot bear Mr. Beauchamp's absence from them for three days together. +All the neighbouring gentlemen are in love with him. His manners are so +gentle; his temper so even; so desirous to oblige; so genteel in his +person; so pleasing in his address; he must undoubtedly make a good woman +very happy. + +But Emily, poor girl! sees only Sir Charles Grandison with eyes of love. +Mr. Beauchamp is, however, greatly pleased with Emily. He told Lady G---- +that he thought her a fine young creature; and that her mind was still +more amiable than her person. But his behaviour to her is extremely +prudent. He says finer things of her, than to her: yet surely I am +mistaken if he meditates not in her his future wife. + +Mr. Beauchamp will be one of my escort. + +Emily, at her own request, is to go to Colnebrook with Lady L---- after I +am gone. + +Mr. Reeves will ride. Lord L---- and Lord G---- will also oblige me with +their company on horseback. + +Mrs. Reeves is forbidden to venture; but Lady L---- and Lady G---- will +not be denied coming with me. + +I shall take leave of Lady Olivia and Lady Maffei to-morrow morning; when +they will set out for their projected tour. To-morrow we and the whole +Grandison family are to dine together at Lord L----'s, for the last time. +It will be a mournful dining-time, on that account. + +Lady Betty Williams, her daughter, and Miss Clements, supped with us this +night, and took leave of me in the tenderest manner. They greatly regret +my going down so soon, as they call it. + +As to the public diversions, which they wish me to stay and give into, to +be sure I should have been glad to have been better qualified to have +entertained you with the performances of this or that actor, this or that +musician, and the like: but, frightened by the vile plot upon me at a +masquerade, I was thrown out of that course of diversion, and indeed into +more affecting, more interesting engagements; into the knowledge of a +family that had no need to look out of itself for entertainments: and, +besides, are not all the company we see, as visiters or guests, full of +these things? I have seen the principal performers, in every way, often +enough to give me a notion of their performances, though I have not +troubled you with such common things as revolve every season. + +You know I am far from slighting the innocent pleasures in which others +delight--It would have been happier for me, perhaps, had I had more +leisure to attend those amusements, than I have found. Yet I am not +sure, neither: for methinks, with all the pangs that my suspenses have +cost me, I would not but have known Sir Charles Grandison, his sisters, +his Emily, and Dr. Bartlett. + +I could only have wished to have been spared Sir Hargrave Pollexfen's +vile attempt: then, if I had come acquainted with this family, it would +have been as I came acquainted with others: my gratitude had not been +engaged so deeply. + +Well--But what signify if's?--What has been, has; what must be, must. +Only love me, my dear friends, as you used to love me. If I was a good +girl when I left you, I hope I am not a bad one now, that I am returning +to you. My morals, I bless God, are unhurt: my heart is not corrupted by +the vanities of the great town: I have a little more experience than I +had: and if I have severely paid for it, it is not at the price of my +reputation. And I hope, if nobody has benefited by me, since I have been +in town, that no one has suffered by me. Poor Mr. Fowler!--I could not +help it, you know. Had I, by little snares, follies, coquetries, sought +to draw him on, and entangle him, his future welfare would, with reason, +be more the subject of my solicitude, than it is now necessary it should +be; though, indeed, I cannot help making it a good deal so. + + +*** + + +THURSDAY MORNING. + +Dr. Bartlett has just now taken leave of me, in my own dressing-room. +The parting scene between us was tender. + +I have not given you my opinion of Miss Williams. Had I seen her at my +first coming to town, I should have taken as much notice of her, in my +letters to you, as I did of the two Miss Brambers, Miss Darlington, Miss +Cantillon, Miss Allestree, and others of my own sex; and of Mr. Somner, +Mr. Barnet, Mr. Walden, of the other; who took my first notice, as they +fell early in my way, and with whom it is possible, as well as with the +town-diversions, I had been more intimate, had not Sir Hargrave's vile +attempt carried me out of their acquaintance into a much higher; which of +necessity, as well as choice, entirely engrossed my attention. But now +how insipid would any new characters appear to you, if they were but of a +like cast with those I have mentioned, were I to make such the subjects +of my pen, and had I time before me; which I cannot have, to write again, +before I embrace you all, my dear, my ever dear and indulgent friends! + +I will only say, that Miss Williams is a genteel girl; but will hardly be +more than one of the better sort of modern women of condition; and that +she is to be classed so high, will be owing more to Miss Clements's +lessons, than, I am afraid, to her mother's example. + +Is it, Lucy, that I have more experience and discernment now, or less +charity and good-nature, than when I first came to town? for then I +thought well, in the main, of Lady Betty Williams. But though she is a +good-natured, obliging woman; she is so immersed in the love of public +diversions! so fond of routs, drums, hurricanes,--Bless me, my dear! how +learned should I have been in all the gaieties of the modern life; what a +fine lady, possibly; had I not been carried into more rational (however +to me they have been more painful) scenes; and had I followed the lead of +this lady, as she (kindly, as to her intention) had designed I should! + +In the afternoon Mr. Beauchamp is to introduce Sir Harry and Lady +Beauchamp, on their first visit to the two sisters. + +I had almost forgot to tell you, that my cousins and I are to attend the +good Countess of D---- for one half hour, after we have taken leave of +Lady Olivia and her aunt. + +And now, my Lucy, do I shut up my correspondence with you from London. +My heart beats high with the hope of being as indulgently received by all +you, my dearest friends, as I used to be after a shorter absence: for I +am, and ever will be, + +The grateful, dutiful, and affectionate +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XXXVI + +MISS BYRON, TO LADY G---- +SELBY-HOUSE, MONDAY, APRIL 24. + + +Though the kind friends with whom I parted at Dunstable were pleased, one +and all, to allow that the correspondence which is to pass between my +dear Lady G---- and their Harriet, should answer the just expectations of +each upon her, in the writing way; and though (at your motion, remember, +not at mine) they promised to be contented with hearing read to them such +parts of my letters as you should think proper to communicate; yet cannot +I dispense with my duty to Lady L----, my Emily, my cousin Reeves, and +Dr. Bartlett. Accordingly, I write to them by this post; and I charge +you, my dear, with my sincere and thankful compliments to your lord, and +to Mr. Beauchamp, for their favours. + +What an agreeable night, in the main, was Friday night! Had we not been +to separate next morning, it would have been an agreeable one indeed! + +Is not my aunt Selby an excellent woman? But you all admired her. She +admires you all. I will tell you, another time, what she said of you, my +dear, in particular. + +My cousin Lucy, too--is she not an amiable creature? Indeed you all were +delighted with her. But I take pleasure in recollecting your +approbations of one I so dearly love. She is as prudent as Lady L---- +and now our Nancy is so well recovered, as cheerful as Lady G----. You +said you would provide a good husband for her: don't forget. The man, +whoever he be, cannot be too good for my Lucy. Nancy is such another +good girl: but so I told you. + +Well, and pray, did you ever meet with so pleasant a man as my uncle +Selby? What should we have done, when we talked of your brother, when we +talked of our parting, had it not been for him? You looked upon me every +now and then, when he returned your smartness upon him, as if you thought +I had let him know some of your perversenesses to Lord G----. And do you +think I did not? Indeed I did. Can you imagine that your frank-hearted +Harriet, who hides not from her friends her own faults, should conceal +yours?--But what a particular character is yours! Every body blames you, +that knows of your over-livelinesses; yet every body loves you--I think, +for your very faults. Had it not been so, do you imagine I could ever +have loved you, after you had led Lady L---- to join with you, on a +certain teasing occasion?--My uncle dotes upon you! + +But don't tell Emily that my cousin James Selby is in love with her. +That he may not, on the score of the dear girl's fortune, be thought +presumptuous, let me tell you, that he is almost of age; and, when he is, +comes into possession of a handsome estate. He has many good qualities. +I have, in short, a very great value for him; but not enough, though he +is my relation, to wish him my still more beloved Emily. Dear creature! +Methinks I still feel her parting tears on my cheek! + +You charge me to be as minute, in the letters I write to you, as I used +to be to my friends here: and you promise to be as circumstantial in +yours. I will set you the example: do you be sure to follow it. + +We baited at Stoney Stratford. I was afraid how it would be: there were +the two bold creatures, Mr. Greville, and Mr. Fenwick, ready to receive +us. A handsome collation, as at our setting out, so now, bespoke by +them, was set on the table. How they came by their intelligence, nobody +knows: we were all concerned to see them. They seemed half-mad for joy. +My cousin James had alighted to hand us out; but Mr. Greville was so +earnest to offer his hand, that though my cousin was equally ready, I +thought I could not deny to his solicitude for the poor favour, such a +mark of civility. Besides, if I had, it would have been distinguishing +him for more than a common neighbour, you know. Mr. Fenwick took the +other hand, when I had stept out of the coach, and then (with so much +pride, as made me ashamed of myself) they hurried me between them, +through the inn yard, and into the room they had engaged for us; blessing +themselves, all the way, for my coming down Harriet Byron. + +I looked about, as if for the dear friends I had parted with at +Dunstable. This is not, thought I, so delightful an inn as they made +that--Now they, thought I, are pursuing their road to London, as we are +ours to Northampton. But ah! where, where is Sir Charles Grandison at +this time? And I sighed! But don't read this, and such strokes as this, +to any body but Lord and Lady L----. You won't, you say--Thank you, +Charlotte.--I will call you Charlotte, when I think of it, as you +commanded me. The joy we had at Dunstable, was easy, serene, deep, full, +as I may say; it was the joy of sensible people: but the joy here was +made by the two gentlemen, mad, loud, and even noisy. They hardly were +able to contain themselves; and my uncle, and cousin James, were forced +to be loud, to be heard. + +Mr. Orme, good Mr. Orme, when we came near his park, was on the highway +side, perhaps near the very spot where he stood to see me pass to London +so many weeks ago--Poor man!--When I first saw him, (which was before the +coach came near, for I looked out only, as thinking I would mark the +place where I last beheld him,) he looked with so disconsolate an air, +and so fixed, that I compassionately said to myself, Surely the worthy +man has not been there ever since! + +I twitched the string just in time: the coach stopt. Mr. Orme, said I, +how do you? Well, I hope?--How does Miss Orme? + +I had my hand on the coach-door. He snatched it. It was not an +unwilling hand. He pressed it with his lips. God be praised, said he, +(with a countenance, O how altered for the better!) for permitting me +once more to behold that face--that angelic face, he said. + +God bless you, Mr. Orme! said I: I am glad to see you. Adieu. + +The coach drove on. Poor Mr. Orme! said my aunt. + +Mr. Orme, Lucy, said I, don't look so ill as you wrote he was. + +His joy to see you, said she--But Mr. Orme is in a declining way. + +Mr. Greville, on the coach stopping, rode back just as it was going on +again--And with a loud laugh--How the d----l came Orme to know of your +coming, madam!--Poor fellow! It was very kind of you to stop your coach +to speak to the statue. And he laughed again.--Nonsensical! At what? + +My grandmamma Shirley, dearest of parents! her youth, as she was pleased +to say, renewed by the expectation of so soon seeing her darling child, +came (as my aunt told us, you know) on Thursday night to Selby-house, to +charge her and Lucy with her blessing to me; and resolving to stay there +to receive me. Our beloved Nancy was also to be there; so were two other +cousins, Kitty and Patty Holles, good young creatures; who, in my +absence, had attended my grandmamma at every convenient opportunity, and +whom I also found here. + +When we came within sight of this house, Now, Harriet, said Lucy, I see +the same kind of emotions beginning to arise in your face and bosom, as +Lady G---- told us you shewed when you first saw your aunt at Dunstable. +My grandmamma! said I, I am in sight of the dear house that holds her: I +hope she is here. But I will not surprise her with my joy to see her. +Lie still, throbbing impatient heart. + +But when the coach set us down at the inner gate, there, in the +outward-hall, sat my blessed grandmamma. The moment I beheld her, my +intended caution forsook me: I sprang by my aunt, and, before the +foot-step could be put down, flew, as it were, out of the coach, and +threw myself at her feet, wrapping my arms about her: Bless, bless, said +I, your Harriet! I could not, at the moment, say another word. + +Great God! said the pious parent, her hands and eyes lifted up, Great +God! I thank thee! Then folding her arms about my neck, she kissed my +forehead, my cheek, my lips--God bless my love! Pride of my life! the +most precious of a hundred daughters! How does my child--my Harriet--O +my love!--After such dangers, such trials, such harassings--Once more, +God be praised that I clasp to my fond heart, my Harriet! + +Separate them, separate them, said my facetious uncle, (yet he had tears +in his eyes,) before they grow together!--Madam, to my grandmamma, she is +our Harriet, as well as yours: let us welcome the saucy girl, on her +re-entrance into these doors!--Saucy, I suppose, I shall soon find her. + +My grandmamma withdrew her fond arms: Take her, take her, said she, each +in turn: but I think I never can part with her again. + +My uncle saluted me, and bid me very kindly welcome home--so did every +one. + +How can I return the obligations which the love of all my friends lays +upon me? To be good, to be grateful, is not enough; since that one ought +to be for one's own sake. Yet how can I be even grateful to them with +half a heart? Ah, Lady G----, you bid me be free in my confessions. You +promise to look my letters over before you read them to any body; and to +mark passages proper to be kept to yourself--Pray do. + +Mr. Greville and Mr. Fenwick were here separately, an hour ago: I thanked +them for their civility on the road, and not ungraciously, as Mr. +Greville told my uncle, as to him. He was not, he said, without hopes, +yet; since I knew not how to be ungrateful. Mr. Greville builds, as he +always did, a merit on his civility; and by that means sinks, in the +narrower lover, the claim he might otherwise make to the title of the +generous neighbour. + + +*** + + +Miss Orme has just been here. She could not help throwing in a word for +her brother. + +You will guess, my dear Lady G----, at the subject of our conversations +here, and what they will be, morning, noon, and night, for a week to +come. My grandmamma is better in health than I have known her for a year +or two past. The health of people in years can mend but slowly; and they +are slow to acknowledge it in their own favour. My grandmamma, however, +allows that she is better within these few days past; but attributes the +amendment to her Harriet's return. + +How do they all bless, revere, extol, your noble brother!--How do they +wish--And how do they regret--you know what--Yet how ready are they to +applaud your Harriet, if she can hold her magnanimity, in preferring the +happiness of Clementina to her own!--My grandmamma and aunt are of +opinion, that I should; and they praise me for the generosity of my +effort, whether the superior merits of the man will or will not allow me +to succeed in it. But my uncle, my Lucy, and my Nancy, from their +unbounded love of me, think a little, and but a little, narrower; and, +believing it will go hard with me, say, It is hard. My uncle, in +particular, says, The very pretension is flight and nonsense: but, +however, if the girl, added he, can parade away her passion for an object +so worthy, with all my heart: it will be but just, that the romancing +elevations, which so often drive headstrong girls into difficulties, +should now and then help a more discreet one out of them. + +Adieu, my beloved Lady G----! Repeated compliments, love, thanks, to my +Lord and Lady L----, to my Emily, to Dr. Bartlett, to Mr. Beauchamp, and +particularly to my Lord G----. Dear, dear Charlotte, be good! Let me +beseech you be good! If you are not, you will have every one of my +friends who met you at Dunstable, and, from their report, my grandmamma +and Nancy, against you; for they find but one fault in my lord: it is, +that he seems too fond of a lady, who, by her archness of looks, and +half-saucy turns upon him, even before them, evidently shewed--Shall I +say what? But I stand up for you, my dear. Your gratitude, your +generosity, your honour, I say, (and why should I not add your duty?) +will certainly make you one of the most obliging of wives, to the most +affectionate of husbands. + +My uncle says he hopes so: but though he adores you for a friend, and the +companion of a lively hour; yet he does not know but his dame Selby is +still the woman whom a man should prefer for a wife: and she, said he, is +full as saucy as a wife need to be; though I think, Harriet, that she has +not been the less dutiful of late for your absence. + +Once more, adieu, my dear Lady G----, and continue to love your + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XXXVII + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +THURSDAY, APRIL 27. + + +Every one of the Dunstable party say, that you are a grateful and good +girl. Beauchamp can talk of nobody else of our sex: I believe in my +conscience he is in love with you. I think all the unprovided-for young +women, wherever you come, must hate you. Was you never by surprise +carried into the chamber of a friend labouring with the smallpox, in the +infectious stage of it?--O, but I think you once said you had had that +distemper. But your mind, Harriet, were your face to be ruined, would +make you admirers. The fellows who could think of preferring even such a +face to such a heart, may be turned over to the class of insignificants. + +Is not your aunt Selby, you ask, an excellent woman?--She is. I admire +her. But I am very angry with you for deferring to another time, +acquainting me with what she said of me. When we are taken with any +body, we love they should be taken with us. Teasing Harriet! You know +what an immoderate quantity of curiosity I have. Never serve me so +again! + +I am in love with your cousin Lucy. Were either Fenwick or Greville good +enough--But they are not. I think she shall have Mr. Orme. Nancy, you +say, is such another good girl. I don't doubt it. Is she not your +cousin, and Lucy's sister? But I cannot undertake for every good girl +who wants a husband. I wish I had seen Lucy a fortnight ago: then Nancy +might have had Mr. Orme, and Lucy should have had Lord G----. He admires +her greatly. And do you think that a man who at that time professed for +me so much love and service, and all that, would have scrupled to oblige +me, had I (as I easily should) proved to him, that he would have been a +much happier man than he could hope to be with somebody else? + +Your uncle is a pleasant man: but tell him I say, that the man would be +out of his wits, that did not make the preference he does in favour of +his dame Selby, as he calls her. Tell him also, if you please, in return +for his plain dealing, that I say, he studies too much for his +pleasantries: he is continually hunting for occasions to be smart. I +have heard my father say, that this was the fault of some wits of his +acquaintance, whom he ranked among the witlings for it. If you think it +will mortify him more, you may tell him, (for I am very revengeful when I +think myself affronted,) that were I at liberty, which, God help me, I am +not! I would sooner choose for a husband the man I have, (poor soul, as I +now and then think him,) than such a teasing creature as himself, were +both in my power, and both of an age. And I should have this good reason +for my preference: your uncle and I should have been too much alike, and +so been jealous of each other's wit; whereas I can make my honest Lord +G---- look about him, and admire me strangely, whenever I please. + +But I am, it seems, a person of a particular character. Every one, you +say, loves me, yet blames me. Odd characters, my dear, are needful to +make even characters shine. You good girls would not be valued as you +are, if there were not bad ones. Have you not heard it said, that all +human excellence is but comparative? Pray allow of the contrast. You, I +am sure, ought. You are an ungrateful creature, if, whenever you think +of my over-livelinesses, as you call 'em, you don't drop a courtesy, and +say, you are obliged to me. + +But still the attack made upon you in your dressing-room at Colnebrook, +by my sister and me, sticks in your stomach--And why so? We were willing +to shew you, that we were not the silly people you must have thought us, +had we not been able to distinguish light from darkness. You, who ever +were, I believe, one of the frankest-hearted girls in Britain, and +admired for the ease and dignity given you by that frankness, were +growing awkward, nay dishonest. Your gratitude! your gratitude! was the +dust you wanted to throw into our eyes, that we might not see that you +were governed by a stronger motive. You called us your friends, your +sisters, but treated us not as either; and this man, and that, and +t'other, you could refuse; and why? No reason given for it; and we were +to be popt off with your gratitude, truly!--We were to believe just what +you said, and no more; nay, not so much as you said. But we were not so +implicit. Nor would you, in our case, have been so. + +But 'you, perhaps, would not have violently broken in upon a poor thing, +who thought we were blind, because she was not willing we should see.'-- +May be not: but then, in that case, we were honester than you would have +been; that's all. Here, said I, Lady L----, is this poor girl awkwardly +struggling to conceal what every body sees; and, seeing, applauds her +for, the man considered: [Yes, Harriet, the man considered; be pleased to +take that in:] let us, in pity, relieve her. She is thought to be frank, +open-hearted, communicative; nay, she passes herself upon us in those +characters: she sees we keep nothing from her. She has been acquainted +with your love before wedlock; with my folly, in relation to Anderson: +she has carried her head above a score or two of men not contemptible. +She sits enthroned among us, while we make but common figures at her +footstool: she calls us sisters, friends, and twenty pretty names. Let +us acquaint her, that we see into her heart; and why Lord D---- and +others are so indifferent with her. If she is ingenuous, let us spare +her; if not, leave me to punish her--Yet we will keep up her punctilio as +to our brother; we will leave him to make his own discoveries. She may +confide in his politeness; and the result will be happier for her; +because she will then be under no restraint to us, and her native freedom +of heart may again take its course. + +Agreed, agreed, said Lady L----. And arm-in-arm, we entered your +dressing-room, dismissed the maid, and began the attack--And, O Harriet! +how you hesitated, paraded, fooled on with us, before you came to +confession! Indeed you deserved not the mercy we shewed you--So, child, +you had better to have let this part of your story sleep in peace. + +You bid me not tell Emily, that your cousin is in love with her: but I +think I will. Girls begin very early to look out for admirers. It is +better, in order to stay her stomach, to find out one for her, than that +she should find out one for herself; especially when the man is among +ourselves, as I may say, and both are in our own management, and at +distance from each other. Emily is a good girl; but she has +susceptibilities already: and though I would not encourage her, as yet, +to look out of herself for happiness; yet I would give her consequence +with herself, and at the same time let her see, that there could be no +mention made of any thing that related to her, but what she should be +acquainted with. Dear girl! I love her as well as you; and I pity her +too: for she, as well as somebody else, will have difficulties to contend +with, which she will not know easily how to get over; though she can, in +a flame so young, generously prefer the interest of a more excellent +woman to her own.--There, Harriet, is a grave paragraph: you'll like me +for it. + +You are a very reflecting girl, in mentioning to me, so particularly, +your behaviour to your Grevilles, Fenwicks, and Ormes. What is that but +saying, See, Charlotte! I am a much more complacent creature to the +men, no one of which I intend to have, than you are to your husband! + +What a pious woman, indeed, must be your grandmamma, that she could +suspend her joy, her long-absent darling at her feet, till she had first +thanked God for restoring her to her arms! But, in this instance, we see +the force of habitual piety. Though not so good as I should be myself, I +revere those who are so; and that I hope you will own is no bad sign. + +Well, but now for ourselves, and those about us. + +Lady Olivia has written a letter from Windsor to Lady L----. It is in +French; extremely polite. She promises to write to me from Oxford. + +Lady Anne S---- made me a visit this morning. She was more concerned +than I wished to see her, on my confirming the report she had heard of my +brother's being gone abroad. I rallied her a little too freely, as it +was before Lord G---- and Lord L----. I never was better rebuked than by +her; for she took out her pencil, and on the cover of a letter wrote +these lines from Shakespeare, and slid them into my hand: + + "And will you rend our ancient love asunder, + To join with men in scorning your poor friend? + It is not friendly; 'tis not maidenly: + Our sex, as well as I, may chide you for it, + Though I alone do feel the injury." + +I never, my dear, told you how freely this lady and I had talked of love: +but, freely as we had talked, I was not aware that the matter lay so deep +in her heart. I knew not how to tell her that my brother had said, it +could not be. I could have wept over her when I read this paper; and I +owned myself by a whisper justly rebuked. She charged me not to let any +man see this; particularly not either of those present: and do you, +Harriet, keep what I have written of Lady Anne to yourself. + +My aunt Eleanor has written a congratulatory letter to me from York. Sir +Charles, it seems, had acquainted her with Lord G----'s day, [Not my day, +Harriet! that is not the phrase, I hope!] as soon as he knew it himself; +and she writes, supposing that I was actually offered on it. Women are +victims on these occasions: I hope you'll allow me that. My brother has +made it a point of duty to acquaint his father's sister with every matter +of consequence to the family; and now, she says, that both her nieces are +so well disposed of, she will come to town very quickly to see her new +relations and us; and desires we will make room for her. And yet she +owns, that my brother has informed her of his being obliged to go abroad; +and she supposes him gone. As he is the beloved of her heart, I wonder +she thinks of making this visit now he is absent: but we shall all be +glad to see my aunt Nell. She is a good creature, though an old maid. I +hope the old lady has not utterly lost either her invention, or memory; +and then, between both, I shall be entertained with a great number of +love-stories of the last age; and perhaps of some dangers and escapes; +which may serve for warnings for Emily. Alas! alas! they will come too +late for your Charlotte! + +I have written already the longest letter that I ever wrote in my life: +yet it is prating; and to you, to whom I love to prate. I have not near +done. + +You bid me be good; and you threaten me, if I am not, with the ill +opinion of all your friends: but I have such an unaccountable bias for +roguery, or what shall I call it? that I believe it is impossible for me +to take your advice. I have been examining myself. What a deuse is the +matter with me, that I cannot see my honest man in the same advantageous +light in which he appears to everybody else? Yet I do not, in my heart, +dislike him. On the contrary, I know not, were I to look about me, far +and wide, the man I would have wished to have called mine, rather than +him. But he is so important about trifles; so nimble, yet so slow: he is +so sensible of his own intention to please, and has so many antic motions +in his obligingness; that I cannot forbear laughing at the very time that +I ought perhaps to reward him with a gracious approbation. + +I must fool on a little while longer, I believe: permit me, Harriet, so +to do, as occasions arise. + + +*** + + +An instance, an instance in point, Harriet. Let me laugh as I write. I +did at the time.--What do you laugh at, Charlotte?--Why this poor man, +or, as I should rather say, this lord and master of mine, has just left +me. He has been making me both a compliment, and a present. And what do +you think the compliment is? Why, if I please, he will give away to a +virtuoso friend, his collection of moths and butterflies: I once, he +remembered, rallied him upon them. And by what study, thought I, wilt +thou, honest man, supply their place? If thou hast a talent this way, +pursue it; since perhaps thou wilt not shine in any other. And the best +any thing, you know, Harriet, carries with it the appearance of +excellence. Nay, he would also part with his collection of shells, if I +had no objection. + +To whom, my lord?--He had not resolved.--Why then, only as Emily is too +little of a child, or you might give them to her. 'Too little of a +child, madam!' and a great deal of bustle and importance took possession +of his features--Let me tell you, madam--I won't let you, my lord; and I +laughed. + +Well, madam, I hope here is something coming up that you will not disdain +to accept of yourself. + +Up came groaning under the weight, or rather under the care, two servants +with baskets: a fine set of old Japan china with brown edges, believe me. +They sat down their baskets, and withdrew. + +Would you not have been delighted, Harriet, to see my lord busying +himself with taking out, and putting in the windows, one at a time, the +cups, plates, jars, and saucers, rejoicing and parading over them, and +shewing his connoisseurship to his motionless admiring wife, in +commending this and the other piece as a beauty? And, when he had done, +taking the liberty, as he phrased it, half fearful, half resolute, to +salute his bride for his reward; and then pacing backwards several steps, +with such a strut and a crow--I see him yet!--Indulge me, Harriet!--I +burst into a hearty laugh; I could not help it: and he, reddening, looked +round himself, and round himself, to see if anything was amiss in his +garb. The man, the man! honest friend, I could have said, (but had too +much reverence for my husband,) is the oddity! Nothing amiss in the +garb. I quickly recollected myself, however, and put him in a good +humour, by proper marks of my gracious acceptance. On reflection, I +could not bear myself for vexing the honest man when he had meant to +oblige me. + +How soon I may relapse again, I know not.--O Harriet! Why did you +beseech me to be good? I think in my heart I have the stronger +inclination to be bad for it! You call me perverse: if you think me so, +bid me be saucy, bid me be bad; and I may then, like other good wives, +take the contrary course for the sake of dear contradiction. + +Shew not, however, (I in turn beseech you) to your grandmamma and aunt, +such parts of this letter as would make them despise me. You say, you +stand up for me; I have need of your advocateship: never let me want it. +And do I not, after all, do a greater credit to my good man, when I can +so heartily laugh in the wedded state, than if I were to sit down with my +finger in my eye? + +I have taken your advice, and presented my sister with my half of the +jewels. I desired her to accept them, as they were my mother's, and for +her sake. This gave them a value with her, more than equal with their +worth: but Lord L---- is uneasy, and declares he will not suffer Lady +L---- long to lie under the obligation. Were every one of family in +South Britain and North Britain to be as generous and disinterested as +Lord L---- and our family, the union of the two parts of the island would +be complete. + + +*** + + +Lord help this poor obliging man! I wish I don't love him, at last. He +has taken my hint, and has presented his collection of shells (a very +fine one, he says, it is) to Emily; and they two are actually busied (and +will be for an hour or two, I doubt not) in admiring them; the one +strutting over the beauties, in order to enhance the value of the +present; the other courtesying ten times in a minute, to shew her +gratitude. Poor man! When his virtuoso friend has got his butterflies +and moths, I am afraid he must set up a turner's shop, for employment. +If he loved reading, I could, when our visiting hurries are over, set him +to read to me the new things that come out, while I knot or work; and, if +he loved writing, to copy the letters which pass between you and me, and +those for you which I expect with so much impatience from my brother by +means of Dr. Bartlett. I think he spells pretty well, for a lord. + +I have no more to say, at present, but compliments, without number or +measure, to all you so deservedly love and honour; as well those I have +not seen, as those I have. + +Only one thing: Reveal to me all the secrets of your heart, and how that +heart is from time to time affected; that I may know whether you are +capable of that greatness of mind in a love-case, that you shew in all +others. We will all allow you to love Sir Charles Grandison. Those who +do, give honour to themselves, if their eyes stop not at person, his +having so many advantages. For the same reason, I make no apologies, and +never did, for praising my brother, as any other lover of him might do. + +Let me know every thing how and about your fellows, too. Ah! Harriet, +you make not the use of power that I would have done in your situation. +I was half-sorry when my hurrying brother made me dismiss Sir Walter; and +yet, to have but two danglers after one, are poor doings for a fine lady. +Poorer still, to have but one! + +Here's a letter as long as my arm. Adieu. I was loath to come to the +name: but defer it ever so long, I must subscribe, at last, + +CHARLOTTE G----. + + + +LETTER XXXVIII + +MISS JERVOIS, TO MISS BYRON* +MONDAY, MAY 1. + +* The letter to which this is an answer, as well as those written by Miss +Byron to her cousin Reeves, Lady L----, &c., and theirs in return, are +omitted. + + +O my dearest, my honoured Miss Byron, how you have shamed your Emily by +sending a letter to her; such a sweet letter too! before I have paid my +duty to you, in a letter of thanks for all your love to me, and for all +your kind instructions. But I began once, twice, and thrice, and wrote a +great deal each time, but could not please myself: you, madam, are such a +writer, and I am such a poor thing at my pen!--But I know you will accept +the heart. And so my very diffidence shews pride; since it cannot be +expected from me to be a fine writer: and yet this very letter, I +foresee, will be the worse for my diffidence, and not the better: for I +don't like this beginning, neither.--But come, it shall go. Am I not +used to your goodness? And do you not bid me prattle to you, in my +letters, as I used to do in your dressing-room? O what sweet advice have +you, and do you return for my silly prate! And so I will begin. + +And was you grieved at parting with your Emily on Saturday morning? I am +sure I was very much concerned at parting with you. I could not help +crying all the way to town; and Lady G---- shed tears as well as I, and +so did Lady L---- several times; and said, You were the loveliest, best +young lady in the world. And we all praised likewise your aunt, your +cousin Lucy, and young Mr. Selby. How good are all your relations! They +must be good! And Lord L----, and Lord G----, for men, were as much +concerned as we, at parting with you. Mr. Reeves was so dull all the +way!--Poor Mr. Reeves, he was very dull. And Mr. Beauchamp, he praised +you to the very skies; and in such a pretty manner too! Next to my +guardian, I think Mr. Beauchamp is a very agreeable man. I fancy these +noble sisters, if the truth were known, don't like him so well as their +brother does: perhaps that may be the reason, out of jealousy, as I may +say, if there be any thing in my observation. But they are vastly civil +to him, nevertheless; yet they never praise him when his back is turned; +as they do others, who can't say half the good things that he says. + +Well, but enough of Mr. Beauchamp. My guardian! my gracious, my kind, my +indulgent guardian! who, that thinks of him, can praise any body else? + +O, madam! Where is he now? God protect and guide my guardian, wherever +he goes! This is my prayer, first and last, and I can't tell how often +in the day. I look for him in every place I have seen him in; [And pray +tell me, madam, did not you do so when he had left us?] and when I can't +find him, I do so sigh!--What a pleasure, yet what a pain, is there in +sighing, when I think of him! Yet I know I am an innocent girl. And +this I am sure of, that I wish him to be the husband of but one woman in +the whole world; and that is you. But then my next wish is--You know +what--Ah, my Miss Byron! you must let me live with you and my guardian, +if you should ever be Lady Grandison. + +But here, madam, are sad doings sometimes, between Lord and Lady G----. +I am very angry at her often in my heart; yet I cannot help laughing, +now and then, at her out-of-the-way sayings. Is not her character a very +new one? Or are there more such young wives? I could not do as she +does, were I to be queen of the globe. Every body blames her. She will +make my lord not love her, at last. Don't you think so? And then what +will she get by her wit? + + +*** + + +Just this moment she came into my closet--Writing, Emily? said she: To +whom?--I told her.--Don't tell tales out of school, Emily.--I was so +afraid that she would have asked to see what I had written: but she did +not. To be sure she is very polite, and knows what belongs to herself, +and every body else: To be ungenerous, as you once said, to her husband +only, that is a very sad thing to think of. + +Well, and I would give any thing to know if you think what I have written +tolerable, before I go any farther: But I will go on in this way, since I +cannot do better. Bad is my best; but you shall have quantity, I +warrant, since you bid me write long letters. + +But I have seen my mother: it was but yesterday. She was in a mercer's +shop in Covent Garden. I was in Lord L----'s chariot; only Anne was with +me. Anne saw her first. I alighted, and asked her blessing in the shop: +I am sure I did right. She blessed me, and called me dear love. I +stayed till she had bought what she wanted, and then I slid down the +money, as if it were her own doing; and glad I was I had so much about +me: It came but to four guineas. I begged her, speaking low, to forgive +me for so doing: And finding she was to go home as far as Soho, and had +thoughts of having a hackney coach called; I gave Anne money for a coach +for herself, and waited on my mother to her own lodgings; and it being +Lord L----'s chariot, she was so good as to dispense with my alighting. + +She blessed my guardian all the way, and blessed me. She said, she would +not ask me to come to see her, because it might not be thought proper, as +my guardian was abroad: but she hoped, she might be allowed to come and +see me sometimes.--Was she not very good, madam? But my guardian's +goodness makes every body good.--O that my mamma had been always the +same! I should have been but too happy! + +God bless my guardian, for putting me on enlarging her power to live +handsomely. Only as a coach brings on other charges, and people must +live accordingly, or be discredited, instead of credited, by it; or I +should hope the additional two hundred a-year might afford them one. Yet +one does not know but Mr. O'Hara may have been in debt before he married +her; and I fancy he has people who hang upon him. But if it pleases God, +I will not, when I am at age, and have a coach of my own, suffer my +mother to walk on foot. What a blessing is it, to have a guardian that +will second every good purpose of one's heart! + +Lady Olivia is rambling about; and I suppose she will wait here in +England till Sir Charles's return: but I am sure he never will have her. +A wicked wretch, with her poniards! Yet it is pity! She is a fine +woman. But I hate her for her expectation, as well as for her poniard. +And a woman to leave her own country, to seek for a husband! I could die +before I could do so! though to such a man as my guardian. Yet once I +thought I could have liked to have lived with her at Florence. She has +some good qualities, and is very generous, and in the main well esteemed +in her own country; every body knew she loved my guardian: but I don't +know how it is; nobody blamed her for it, vast as the difference in +fortune then was. But that is the glory of being a virtuous man; to love +him is a credit, instead of a shame. O madam! Who would not be +virtuous? And that not only for their own, but for their friends sakes, +if they loved their friends, and wished them to be well thought of? + +Lord W---- is very desirous to hasten his wedding. + +Mr. Beauchamp says, that all the Mansfields (He knows them) bless my +guardian every day of their lives; and their enemies tremble. He has +commissions from my guardian to inquire and act in their cause, that no +time may be lost to do them service, against his return. + +We have had another visit from Lady Beauchamp, and have returned it. She +is very much pleased with us: You see I say us. Indeed my two dear +ladies are very good to me; but I have no merit: it is all for their +brother's sake. + +Mr. Beauchamp tells us, just now, that his mother-in-law has joined with +his father, at her own motion, to settle 1000£. a year upon him. I am +glad of it, with all my heart: Are not you? He is all gratitude upon it. +He says, that he will redouble his endeavours to oblige her; and that his +gratitude to her, as well as his duty to his father, will engage his +utmost regard for her. + +Mr. Beauchamp, Sir Harry himself, and my lady, are continually blessing +my guardian: Every body, in short, blesses him.--But, ah! madam, where is +he, at this moment? O that I were a bird! that I might hover over his +head, and sometimes bring tidings to his friends of his motions and good +deeds. I would often flap my wings, dear Miss Byron, at your chamber +window, as a signal of his welfare, and then fly back again, and perch as +near him as I could. + +I am very happy, as I said before, in the favour of Lady and Lord L----, +and Lady and Lord G----; but I never shall be so happy, as when I had the +addition of your charming company. I miss you and my guardian: O, how I +miss you both! But, dearest Miss Byron, love me not the less, though now +I have put pen to paper, and you see what a poor creature I am in my +writing. Many a one, I believe, may be thought tolerable in +conversation; but when they are so silly as to put pen to paper, they +expose themselves; as I have done, in this long piece of scribble. But +accept it, nevertheless, for the true love I bear you; and a truer love +never flamed in any bosom, to any one the most dearly beloved, than does +in mine for you. + +I am afraid I have written arrant nonsense, because I knew not how to +express half the love that is in the heart of + +Your ever-obliged and affectionate +EMILY JERVOIS. + + +LETTER XXXIX + +MISS BYRON, TO LADY G---- +TUESDAY, MAY 2. + + +I have no patience with you, Lady G----. You are ungenerously playful! +Thank Heaven, if this be wit, that I have none of it. But what signifies +expostulating with one who knows herself to be faulty, and will not +amend? How many stripes, Charlotte, do you deserve?--But you never +spared any body, not even your brother, when the humour was upon you. So +make haste; and since you will lay in stores for repentance, fill up your +measure as fast as you can. + +'Reveal to you the state of my heart!'--Ah, my dear! it is an +unmanageable one. 'Greatness of mind!'--I don't know what it is!--All +his excellencies, his greatness, his goodness, his modesty, his +cheerfulness under such afflictions as would weigh down every other heart +that had but half the compassion in it with which his overflows--Must not +all other men appear little, and, less than little, nothing, in my eyes? +--It is an instance of patience in me, that I can endure any of them who +pretend to regard me out of my own family. + +I thought, that when I got down to my dear friends here, I should be +better enabled, by their prudent counsels, to attain the desirable frame +of mind which I had promised myself: but I find myself mistaken. My +grandmamma and aunt are such admirers of him, take such a share in the +disappointment, that their advice has not the effect I had hoped it would +have. Lucy, Nancy, are perpetually calling upon me to tell them +something of Sir Charles Grandison; and when I begin, I know not how to +leave off. My uncle rallies me, laughs at me, sometimes reminds me of +what he calls my former brags. I did not brag, my dear: I only hoped, +that respecting as I did every man according to his merit, I should never +be greatly taken with any one, before duty added force to the +inclination. Methinks the company of the friends I am with, does not +satisfy me; yet they never were dearer to me than they now are. I want +to have Lord and Lady L----, Lord and Lady G----, Dr. Bartlett, my Emily, +with me. To lose you all at once!--is hard!--There seems to be a strange +void in my heart--And so much, at present, for the state of that heart. + +I always had reason to think myself greatly obliged to my friends and +neighbours all around us; but never, till my return, after these few +months absence, knew how much. So many kind visitors; such unaffected +expressions of joy on my return; that had I not a very great +counterbalance on my heart, would be enough to make me proud. + +My grandmamma went to Shirley-manor on Saturday; on Monday I was with her +all day: but she would have it that I should be melancholy if I staid +with her. And she is so self-denyingly careful of her Harriet! There +never was a more noble heart in woman. But her solitary moments, as my +uncle calls them, are her moments of joy. And why? Because she then +divests herself of all that is either painful or pleasurable to her in +this life: for she says, that her cares for her Harriet, and especially +now, are at least a balance for the delight she takes in her. + +You command me to acquaint you with what passes between me and the +gentlemen in my neighbourhood; in your style, my fellows. + +Mr. Fenwick invited himself to breakfast with my aunt Selby yesterday +morning. I would not avoid him. + +I will not trouble you with the particulars: you know well enough what +men will say on the subject upon which you will suppose he wanted to talk +to me. He was extremely earnest. I besought him to accept my thanks for +his good opinion of me, as all the return I could make him for it; and +this in so very serious a manner, that my heart was fretted, when he +declared, with warmth, his determined perseverance. + +Mr. Greville made us a tea-visit in the afternoon. My uncle and he +joined to rally us poor women, as usual. I left the defence of the sex +to my aunt and Lucy. How poor appears to me every conversation now with +these men!--But hold, saucy Harriet, was not your uncle Selby one of the +raillers?--But he does not believe all he says; and therefore cannot +wish to be so much regarded, on this topic, as he ought to be by me, on +others. + +After the run of raillery was over, in which Mr. Greville made exceptions +favourable to the women present, he applied to every one for their +interest with me, and to me to countenance his address. He set forth his +pretensions very pompously, and mentioned a very considerable increase of +his fortune; which before was a very handsome one. He offered our own +terms. He declared his love for me above all women, and made his +happiness in the next world, as well as in this, depend upon my favour to +him. + +It was easy to answer all he said; and is equally so for you to guess in +what manner I answered him: And he, finding me determined, began to grow +vehement, and even affrontive. He hinted to me, that he knew what had +made me so very resolute. He threw out threatenings against the man, be +he whom he would, that should stand in the way of his success with me; at +the same time intimating saucily, as I may say, (for his manner had +insult in it,) that it was impossible a certain event could ever take +place. + +My uncle was angry with him; so was my aunt: Lucy was still more angry +than they: but I, standing up, said, Pray, my dear friends, take nothing +amiss that Mr. Greville has said.--He once told me, that he would set +spies upon my conduct in town. If, sir, your spies have been just, I +fear nothing they can say. But the hints you have thrown out, shew such +a total want of all delicacy of mind, that you must not wonder if my +heart rejects you. Yet I am not angry: I reproach you not: Every one has +his peculiar way. All that is left me to say or to do, is to thank you +for your favourable opinion of me, as I have thanked Mr. Fenwick; and to +desire that you will allow me to look upon you as my neighbour, and only +as my neighbour. + +I courtesied to him, and withdrew. + +But my great difficulty had been before with Mr. Orme. + +His sister had desired that I would see her brother. He and she were +invited by my aunt to dinner on Tuesday. They came. Poor man! He is +not well! I am sorry for it. Poor Mr. Orme is not well! He made me +such honest compliments, as I may say: his heart was too much in his +civilities to raise them above the civilities that justice and truth +might warrant in favour of a person highly esteemed. Mine was filled +with compassion for him; and that compassion would have shewn itself in +tokens of tenderness, more than once, had I not restrained myself for his +sake. How you, my dear Lady G----, can delight in giving pain to an +honest heart, I cannot imagine. I would make all God Almighty's +creatures happy, if I could; and so would your noble brother. Is he not +crossing dangerous seas, and ascending, through almost perpetual snows, +those dreadful Alps which I have heard described with such terror, for +the generous end of relieving distress? + +I made Mr. Orme sit next me. I was assiduous to help him, and to do him +all the little offices which I thought would light up pleasure in his +modest countenance; and he was quite another man. It gave delight to his +sister, and to all my friends, to see him smile, and look happy. + +I think, my dear Lady G----, that when Mr. Orme looks pleasant, and at +ease, he resembles a little the good-natured Lord G----. O that you +would take half the pains to oblige him, that I do to relieve Mr. Orme!-- +Half the pains, did I say? That you would not take pains to dis-oblige +him; and he would be, of course, obliged. Don't be afraid, my dear, +that, in such a world as this, things will not happen to make you uneasy +without your studying for them. + +Excuse my seriousness: I am indeed too serious, at times. + +But when Mr. Orme requested a few minutes' audience of me, as he called +it, and I walked with him into the cedar parlour, which you have heard me +mention, and with which I hope you will be one day acquainted; he paid, +poor man! for his too transient pleasure. Why would he urge a denial +that he could not but know I must give? + +His sister and I had afterwards a conference. She pleaded too strongly +her brother's health, and even his life; both which, she would have it, +depended on my favour to him. I was greatly affected; and at last +besought her, if she valued my friendship as I did hers, never more to +mention to me a subject which gave me a pain too sensible for my peace. + +She requested me to assure her, that neither Mr. Greville, nor Mr. +Fenwick, might be the man. They both took upon them, she said, to +ridicule her brother for the profound respect, even to reverence, that he +bore me; which, if he knew, might be attended with consequences: for that +her brother, mild and gentle as was his passion for me, had courage to +resent any indignities that might be cast upon him by spirits boisterous +as were those of the two gentlemen she had named. She never, therefore, +told her brother of their scoffs. But it would go to her heart, if +either of them should succeed, or have reason but for a distant hope. + +I made her heart easy, on that score. + +I have just now heard, that Sir Hargrave Pollexfen is come from abroad +already. What can be the meaning of it? He is so low-minded, so +malicious a man, and I have suffered so much from him--What can be the +meaning of his sudden return? I am told, that he is actually in London. +Pray, my dear Lady G----, inform yourself about him; and whether he +thinks of coming into these parts. + +Mr. Greville, when he met us at Stoney-Stratford, threw out menaces +against Sir Hargrave, on my account; and said, It was well he was gone +abroad. I told him then, that he had no business, even were Sir Hargrave +present, to engage himself in my quarrels. + +Mr. Greville is an impetuous man; a man of rough manners; and makes many +people afraid of him. He has, I believe, indeed, had his spies about me; +for he seems to know every thing that has befallen me in my absence from +Selby House. + +He has dared also to threaten somebody else. Insolent wretch! But he +hinted to me yesterday, that he was exceedingly pleased with the news, +that a certain gentleman was gone abroad, in order to prosecute a former +amour, was the light wretch's as light expression. If my indignant eyes +could have killed him, he would have fallen dead at my feet. + +Let the constant and true respects of all my friends to you and yours, +and to my beloved Emily, be always, for the future, considered as very +affectionately expressed, whether the variety of other subjects leaves +room for a particular expression of them, or not, by, my dearest Lady +G----, + +Your faithful, and ever-obliged +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XL + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +SATURDAY, MAY 6. + + +I thank you, Harriet, for yours. What must your fellows think of you? +In this gross age, your delicacy must astonish them. There used to be +more of it formerly. But how should men know any thing of it, when women +have forgot it? Lord be thanked, we females, since we have been admitted +into so constant a share of the public diversions, want not courage. We +can give the men stare for stare wherever we meet them. The next age, +nay, the rising generation, must surely be all heroes and heroines. But +whither has this word delicacy carried me? Me, who, it seems, have +faults to be corrected for of another sort; and who want not the courage +for which I congratulate others? + +But to other subjects. I could write a vast deal of stuff about my lord +and self, and Lord and Lady L----, who assume parts which I know not how +to allow them: and sometimes they threaten me with my brother's +resentments, sometimes with my Harriet's; so that I must really have +leading-strings fastened to my shoulders. O, my dear, a fond husband is +a surfeiting thing; and yet I believe most women love to be made monkeys +of. + + +*** + + +But all other subjects must now give way. We have heard of, though not +from, my brother. A particular friend of Mr. Lowther was here with a +letter from that gentleman, acquainting us, that Sir Charles and he were +arrived at Paris. + +Mr. Beauchamp was with us when Mr. Lowther's friend came. He borrowed +the letter on account of the extraordinary adventure mentioned in it. + +Make your heart easy, in the first place, about Sir Hargrave. He is +indeed in town; but very ill. He was frightened into England, and +intends not ever again to quit it. In all probability, he owes it to my +brother that he exists. + +Mr. Beauchamp went directly to Cavendish-square, and informed himself +there of other particulars relating to the affair, from the very servant +who was present, and acting in it; and from those particulars, and Mr. +Lowther's letter, wrote one for Dr. Bartlett. Mr. Beauchamp obliged me +with the perusal of what he wrote; whence I have extracted the following +account: for his letter is long and circumstantial; and I did not ask his +leave to take a copy, as he seemed desirous to hasten it to the doctor. + + +On Wednesday, the 19-30 of April, in the evening, as my brother was +pursuing his journey to Paris, and was within two miles of that capital, +a servant-man rode up, in visible terror, to his post-chaise, in which +were Mr. Lowther and himself, and besought them to hear his dreadful +tale. The gentlemen stopt, and he told them, that his master, who was an +Englishman, and his friend of the same nation, had been but a little +while before attacked, and forced out of the road in their post-chaise, +as he doubted not, to be murdered, by no less than seven armed horsemen; +and he pointed to a hill, at distance, called Mont Matre, behind which +they were, at that moment, perpetrating their bloody purpose. He had +just before, he said, addressed himself to two other gentlemen, and their +retinue, who drove on the faster for it. + +The servant's great coat was open; and Sir Charles observing his livery, +asked him, If he were not a servant of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen? and was +answered in the affirmative. + +There are, it seems, trees planted on each side the road from St. Denis +to Paris, but which, as France is an open and uninclosed country, would +not, but for the hill, have hindered the seeing a great way off, the +scuffling of so many men on horseback. There is also a ditch on either +hand; but places left for owners to come at their grounds, with their +carts, and other carriages. Sir Charles ordered the post boy to drive to +one of those passages; saying, He could not forgive himself, if he did +not endeavour to save Sir Hargrave, and his friend, whose name the man +told him was Merceda. + +His own servants were three in number, besides one of Mr. Lowther. My +brother made Mr. Lowther's servant dismount; and, getting himself on his +horse, ordered the others to follow him. He begged Mr. Lowther to +continue in the chaise, bidding the dismounted servant stay, and attend +his master, and galloped away towards the hill. His ears were soon +pierced with the cries of the poor wretches; and presently he saw two men +on horseback holding the horses of four others, who had under them the +two gentlemen, struggling, groaning, and crying out for mercy. + +Sir Charles, who was a good way a-head of his servants, calling out to +spare the gentlemen, and bending his course to relieve the prostrate +sufferers, two of the four quitted their prey, and mounting, joined the +other two horsemen, and advanced to meet him, with a shew of supporting +the two men on foot in their violence; who continued laying on the +wretches, with the but-ends of their whips, unmercifully. + +As the assailants offered not to fly, and as they had more than time +enough to execute their purpose, had it been robbery and murder; Sir +Charles concluded it was likely that these men were actuated by a private +revenge. He was confirmed in this surmise, when the four men on +horseback, though each had his pistol ready drawn, as Sir Charles also +had his, demanded a conference; warning Sir Charles how he provoked his +fate by his rashness; and declaring, that he was a dead man if he fired. + +Forbear, then, said Sir Charles, all further violences to the gentlemen, +and I will hear what you have to say. + +He then put his pistol into his holster; and one of his servants being +come up, and the two others at hand, (to whom he called out, not to fire +till they had his orders,) he gave him his horse's reins; bidding him +have an eye on the holsters of both, and leapt down; and, drawing his +sword, made towards the two men who were so cruelly exercising their +whips; and who, on his approach, retired to some little distance, drawing +their hangers. + +The four men on horseback joined the two on foot, just as they were +quitting the objects of their fury; and one of them said, Forbear, for +the present, further violence, brother; the gentleman shall be told the +cause of all this.--Murder, sir, said he, is not intended; nor are we +robbers: the men whom you are solicitous to save from our vengeance, are +villains. + +Be the cause what it will, answered Sir Charles, you are in a country +noted for doing speedy justice, upon proper application to the +magistrates. In the same instant he raised first one groaning man, then +the other. Their heads were all over bloody, and they were so much +bruised, that they could not extend their arms to reach their wigs and +hats, which lay near them; nor put them on without Sir Charles's help. + +The men on foot by this time had mounted their horses, and all six stood +upon their defence; but one of them was so furious, crying out, that his +vengeance should be yet more complete, that two of the others could +hardly restrain him. + +Sir Charles asked Sir Hargrave and Mr. Merceda, Whether they had reason +to look upon themselves as injured men, or injurers? One of the +assailants answered, That they both knew themselves to be villains. + +Either from consciousness, or terror, perhaps from both, they could not +speak for themselves, but by groans; nor could either of them stand or +sit upright. + +Just then came up, in the chaise, Mr. Lowther and his servant, each a +pistol in his hand. He quitted the chaise, when he came near the +suffering men; and Sir Charles desired him instantly to examine whether +the gentlemen were dangerously hurt, or not. + +The most enraged of the assailants, having slipt by the two who were +earnest to restrain him, would again have attacked Mr. Merceda; offering +a stroke at him with his hanger: but Sir Charles (his drawn sword still +in his hand) caught hold of his bridle; and, turning his horse's head +aside, diverted a stroke, which, in all probability, would otherwise have +been a finishing one. + +They all came about Sir Charles, bidding him, at his peril, use his sword +upon their friend: and Sir Charles's servants were coming up to their +master's support, had there been occasion. At that instant Mr. Lowther, +assisted by his own servant, was examining the wounds and bruises of the +two terrified men, who had yet no reason to think themselves safe from +further violence. + +Sir Charles repeatedly commanded his servants not to fire, nor approach +nearer, without his orders. The persons, said he, to the assailants, +whom you have so cruelly used, are Englishmen of condition. I will +protect them. Be the provocation what it will, you must know that your +attempt upon them is a criminal one; and if my friend last come up, who +is a very skilful surgeon, shall pronounce them in danger, you shall find +it so. + +Still he held the horse of the furious one; and three of them who seemed +to be principals, were beginning to express some resentment at his +cavalier treatment, when Mr. Lowther gave his opinion, that there was no +apparent danger of death: and then Sir Charles, quitting the man's +bridle, and putting himself between the assailants and sufferers, said, +That as they had not either offered to fly, or to be guilty of violence +to himself, his friend, or servants; he was afraid they had some reason +to think themselves ill used by the gentlemen. But, however, as they +could not suppose they were at liberty, in a civilized country, to take +their revenge on the persons of those who were entitled to the protection +of that country; he should expect, that they would hold themselves to be +personally answerable for their conduct at a proper tribunal. + +The villains, one of the men said, knew who they were, and what the +provocation was; which had merited a worse treatment than they had +hitherto met with. You, sir, proceeded he, seem to be a man of honour, +and temper: we are men of honour, as well as you. Our design, as we told +you, was not to kill the miscreants; but to give them reason to remember +their villainy as long as they lived; and to put it out of their power +ever to be guilty of the like. They have made a vile attempt, continued +he, on a lady's honour at Abbeville; and, finding themselves detected, +and in danger, took roundabout ways, and shifted from one vehicle to +another, to escape the vengeance of her friends. The gentleman, whose +horse you held, and who has reason to be in a passion, is the husband of +the lady. [A Spanish husband, surely, Harriet; not a French one, +according to our notions.] That gentleman, and that, are her brothers. +We have been in pursuit of them two days; for they gave out, (in order, +no doubt, to put us on a wrong scent,) that they were to go to Antwerp. + +And it seems, my dear, that Sir Hargrave and his colleague had actually +sent some of their servants that way; which was the reason that they were +themselves attended but by one. + +The gentleman told Sir Charles that there was a third villain in their +plot. They had hopes, he said, that he would not escape the close +pursuit of a manufacturer at Abbeville, whose daughter, a lovely young +creature, he had seduced, under promises of marriage. Their government, +he observed, were great countenancers of the manufacturers at Abbeville; +and he would have reason, if he were laid hold of, to think himself +happy, if he came off with being obliged to perform his promises. + +This third wretch must be Mr. Bagenhall. The Lord grant, say I, that he +may be laid hold of; and obliged to make a ruined girl an honest woman, +as they phrase it in LANCASHIRE. Don't you wish so, my dear? And let me +add, that had the relations of the injured lady completed their intended +vengeance on those two libertines; (a very proper punishment, I ween, for +all libertines;) it might have helped them to pass the rest of their +lives with great tranquillity; and honest girls might, for any +contrivances of theirs, have passed to and from masquerades without +molestation. + +Sir Hargrave and his companion intended, it seems, at first, to make some +resistance; four only, of the seven, stopping the chaise: but when the +other three came up, and they saw who they were, and knew their own +guilt, their courage failed them. + +The seventh man was set over the post-boy, whom he had led about half a +mile from the spot they had chosen as a convenient one for their purpose. + +Sir Hargrave's servant was secured by them at their first attack; but +after they had disarmed him and his masters, he found an opportunity to +slip from them, and made the best of his way to the road, in hopes of +procuring assistance for them. + +While Sir Charles was busy in helping the bruised wretches on their feet, +the seventh man came up to the others, followed by Sir Hargrave's chaise. +The assailants had retired to some distance, and, after a consultation +together, they all advanced towards Sir Charles; who, bidding his +servants be on their guard, leapt on his horse, with that agility and +presence of mind, for which, Mr. Beauchamp says, he excels most men; and +leading towards them, Do you advance, gentlemen, said he, as friends, or +otherwise?--Mr. Lowther took a pistol in each hand, and held himself +ready to support him; and the servants disposed themselves to obey their +master's orders. + +Our enmity, answered one of them, is only to these two inhospitable +villains: murder, as we told you, was not our design. They know where we +are to be found; and that they are the vilest of men, and have not been +punished equal to their demerits. Let them on their knees ask this +gentleman's pardon; pointing to the husband of the insulted lady. We +insist upon this satisfaction; and upon their promise, that they never +more will come within two leagues of Abbeville; and we will leave them to +your protection. I fancy, Harriet, that these women-frightening heroes +needed not to have been urged to make this promise. + +Sir Charles, turning towards them, said, If you have done wrong, +gentlemen, you ought not to scruple asking pardon. If you know +yourselves to be innocent, though I should be loath to risk the lives of +my friend and servants, yet shall not my countrymen make so undue a +submission. + +The wretches kneeled; and the seven men, civilly saluting Sir Charles and +Mr. Lowther, rode off; to the joy of the two delinquents, who kneeled +again to their deliverer, and poured forth blessings upon the man whose +life, so lately, one of them sought; and whose preservation he had now so +much reason to rejoice in, for the sake of his own safety. + +My brother himself could not but be well pleased that he was not obliged +to come to extremities, which might have ended fatally on both sides. + +By this time Sir Hargrave's post-chaise was come up. He and his +colleague were with difficulty lifted into it. My brother and Mr. +Lowther went into theirs; and being but a small distance from Paris, they +proceeded thither in company; the poor wretches blessing them all the +way; and at Paris found their other servants waiting for them. + +Sir Charles and Mr. Lowther saw them in bed in the lodgings that had been +taken for them. They were so stiff with the bastinado they had met with, +that they were unable to help themselves. Mr. Merceda had been more +severely (I cannot call it more cruelly) treated than the other; for he, +it seems, was the greatest malefactor in the attempt made upon the lady: +and he had, besides, two or three gashes, which, but for his struggles, +would have been but one. + +As you, my dear, always turn pale when the word masquerade is mentioned; +so, I warrant, will ABBEVILLE be a word of terror to these wretches, as +long as they live. + +Their enemies, it seems, carried off their arms; perhaps, in the true +spirit of French chivalry, with a view to lay them, as so many trophies, +at the feet of the insulted lady. + +Mr. Lowther writes, that my brother and he are lodged in the hotel of a +man of quality, a dear friend of the late Mr. Danby, and one of the three +whom he has remembered in his will; and that Sir Charles is extremely +busy in relation to the executorship; and, having not a moment to spare, +desired Mr. Lowther to engage his friend, to whom he wrote, to let us +know as much; and that he was hastening every thing for his journey +onwards. + +Mr. Beauchamp's narrative of this affair is, as I told you, very +circumstantial. I thought to have shortened it more than I have done. I +wish I have not made my abstract confused, in several material places: +but I have not time to clear it up. Adieu, my dear. + +CHARLOTTE G----. + + + +LETTER XLI + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +SUNDAY, MAY 7. + + +I believe I shall become as arrant a scribbler as somebody else. I begin +to like writing. A great compliment to you, I assure you. I see one may +bring one's mind to any thing.--I thought I must have had recourse, when +you and my brother left us, and when I was married, to the public +amusements, to fill up my leisure: and as I have seen every thing worth +seeing of those, many times over; (masquerades excepted, and them I +despise;) time, you know, in that case, would have passed a little +heavily, after having shewn myself, and, by seeing who and who were +together, laid in a little store of the right sort of conversation for +the tea-table. For you know, Harriet, that among us modern fine people, +the company, and not the entertainment, is the principal part of the +raree-show. Pretty enough! to make the entertainment, and pay for it +too, to the honest fellows, who have nothing to do, but to project +schemes to get us together. + +I don't know what to do with this man. I little thought that I was to be +considered as such a doll, such a toy, as he would make me. I want to +drive him out of the house without me, were it but to purvey for me news +and scandal. What are your fine gentlemen fit for else? You know, that, +with all my faults, I have a domestic and managing turn. A man should +encourage that in a wife, and not be perpetually teasing her for her +company abroad, unless he did it with a view to keep her at home. Our +sex don't love to be prescribed to, even in the things from which they +are not naturally averse: and for this very reason, perhaps, because it +becomes us to submit to prescription. Human nature, Harriet, is a +perverse thing. I believe, if my good man wished me to stay at home, I +should torture my brain, as other good wives do, for inventions to go +abroad. + +It was but yesterday, that in order to give him a hint, I pinned my apron +to his coat, without considering who was likely to be a sufferer by it; +and he, getting up, in his usual nimble way, gave it a rent, and then +looked behind him with so much apprehension--Hands folded, eyes goggling, +bag in motion from shoulder to shoulder. I was vexed too much to make +the use of the trick which I had designed, and huffed him. He made +excuses, and looked pitifully; bringing in his soul, to testify that he +knew not how it could be. How it could be! Wretch! When you are always +squatting upon one's clothes, in defiance of hoop, or distance. + +He went out directly, and brought me in two aprons, either of which was +worth twenty of that he so carelessly rent. Who could be angry with him? +--I was, indeed, thinking to chide him for this--As if I were not to be +trusted to buy my own clothes; but he looked at me with so good-natured +an eye, that I relented, and accepted, with a bow of graciousness, his +present; only calling him an odd creature--And that he is, you know, my +dear. + +We live very whimsically, in the main: not above four quarrels, however, +and as many more chidings, in a day. What does the man stay at home for +then so much, when I am at home?--Married people, by frequent absences, +may have a chance for a little happiness. How many debatings, if not +direct quarrels, are saved by the good man's and his meek wife's seeing +each other but once or twice a week! In what can men and women, who are +much together, employ themselves, but in proving and defending, +quarrelling and making up? Especially if they both chance to marry for +love (which, thank Heaven, is not altogether my case); for then both +honest souls, having promised more happiness to each other than they can +possibly meet with, have nothing to do but reproach each other, at least +tacitly, for their disappointment--A great deal of free-masonry in love, +my dear, believe me! The secret, like that, when found out, is hardly +worth the knowing. + +Well, but what silly rattle is this, Charlotte! methinks you say, and put +on one of your wisest looks. + +No matter, Harriet! There may be some wisdom in much folly. Every one +speaks not out so plainly as I do. But when the novelty of an +acquisition or change of condition is over, be the change or the +acquisition what it will, the principal pleasure is over, and other +novelties are hunted after, to keep the pool of life from stagnating. + +This is a serious truth, my dear, and I expect you to praise me for it. +You are very sparing of your praise to poor me; and yet I had rather have +your good word, than any woman's in the world: or man's either, I was +going to say; but I should then have forgot my brother. As for Lord +G----, were I to accustom him to obligingness, I should destroy my own +consequence: for then it would be no novelty; and he would be hunting +after a new folly.--Very true, Harriet. + +Well, but we have had a good serious falling-out; and it still subsists. +It began on Friday night; present, Lord and Lady L----, and Emily. I was +very angry with him for bringing it on before them. The man has no +discretion, my dear; none at all. And what about? Why, we have not made +our appearance at court, forsooth. + +A very confident thing, this same appearance, I think! A compliment made +to fine clothes and jewels, at the expense of modesty. + +Lord G---- pleads decorum--Decorum against modesty, my dear!--But if by +decorum is meant fashion, I have in a hundred instances found decorum +beat modesty out of the house. And as my brother, who would have been +our principal honour on such an occasion, is gone abroad; and as ours is +an elderly novelty, as I may say, [Our fineries were not ready, you know, +before my brother went,] I was fervent against it. + +'I was the only woman of condition, in England, who would be against it.' + +I told my lord, that was a reflection on my sex: but Lord and Lady L----, +who had been spoken to, I believe, by Lady Gertrude, were both on his +side--[I shall have this man utterly ruined for a husband among you]-- +When there were three to one, it would have looked cowardly to yield, you +know. I was brave. But it being proposed for Sunday, and that being at +a little distance, it was not doubted but I would comply. So the night +passed off, with prayings, hopings, and a little mutteration. [Allow me +that word, or find me a better.] The entreaty was renewed in the +morning; but, no!--'I was ashamed of him,' he said. I asked him if he +really thought so?--'He should think so, if I refused him.' Heaven +forbid, my lord, that I, who contend for the liberty of acting, should +hinder you from the liberty of thinking! Only one piece of advice, +honest friend, said I: don't imagine the worst against yourself: and +another, if you have a mind to carry a point with me, don't bring on the +cause before any body else: for that would be to doubt either my duty, or +your own reasonableness. + +As sure as you are alive, Harriet, the man made an exception against +being called honest friend; as if, as I told him, either of the words +were incompatible with quality. So, once, he was as froppish as a child, +on my calling him the man; a higher distinction, I think, than if I had +called him a king, or a prince. THE MAN!--Strange creature! To except to +a distinction that implies, that he is the man of men!--You see what a +captious mortal I have been forced to call my lord. But lord and master +do not always go together; though they do too often, for the happiness of +many a meek soul of our sex. + +Well, this debate seemed suspended, by my telling him, that if I were +presented at court, I would not have either the Earl or Lady Gertrude go +with us, the very people who were most desirous to be there--But I might +not think of that, at the time, you know--I would not be thought very +perverse; only a little whimsical, or so. And I wanted not an excellent +reason for excluding them--'Are their consents to our past affair +doubted, my lord, said I, that you think it necessary for them to appear +to justify us?' + +He could say nothing to this, you know. And I should never forgive the +husband, as I told him, on another occasion, who would pretend to argue, +when he had nothing to say. + +Then (for the baby will be always craving something) he wanted me to go +abroad with him--I forget whither--But to some place that he supposed +(poor man!) I should like to visit. I told him, I dared to say, he +wished to be thought a modern husband, and a fashionable man; and he +would get a bad name, if he could never stir out without his wife. +Neither could he answer that, you know. + +Well, we went on, mutter, mutter, grumble, grumble, the thunder rolling +at a distance; a little impatience now and then, however, portending, +that it would come nearer. But, as yet, it was only, Pray, my dear, +oblige me; and, Pray, my lord, excuse me; till this morning, when he had +the assurance to be pretty peremptory; hinting, that the lord in waiting +had been spoken to. A fine time of it would a wife have, if she were not +at liberty to dress herself as she pleases. Were I to choose again, I do +assure you, my dear, it should not be a man, who by his taste for moths +and butterflies, shells, china, and such-like trifles, would give me +warning, that he would presume to dress his baby, and when he had done, +would perhaps admire his own fancy more than her person. I believe, my +Harriet, I shall make you afraid of matrimony: but I will pursue my +subject, for all that-- + +When the insolent saw that I did not dress, as he would have had me; he +drew out his face, glouting, to half the length of my arm; but was +silent. Soon after Lady L---- sending to know whether her lord and she +were to attend us to the drawing-room, and I returning for answer, that I +should be glad of their company at dinner; he was in violent wrath. +True, as you are alive! and dressing himself in a great hurry, left the +house, without saying, By your leave, With your leave, or whether he +would return to dinner, or not. Very pretty doings, Harriet! + +Lord and Lady L---- came to dinner, however. I thought they were very +kind, and, till they opened their lips, was going to thank them: for +then, it was all elder sister, and insolent brother-in-law, I do assure +you. Upon my word, Harriet, they took upon them. Lady L---- told me, I +might be the happiest creature in the world, if--and there was so good as +to stop. + +One of the happiest only, Lady L----! Who can be happier than you? + +But I, said she, should neither be so, nor deserve to be so, if--Good of +her again, to stop at if. + +We cannot be all of one mind, replied I. I shall be wiser, in time. + +Where was poor Lord G---- gone? + +Poor Lord G---- is gone to seek his fortune, I believe. + +What did I mean? + +I told them the airs he had given himself; and that he was gone without +leave, or notice of return. + +He had served me right, ab-solutely right, Lord L---- said. + +I believed so myself. Lord G---- was a very good sort of man, and ought +not to bear with me so much as he had done: but it would be kind in them, +not to tell him what I had owned. + +The earl lifted up one hand; the countess both. They had not come to +dine with me, they said, after the answer I had returned, but as they +were afraid something was wrong between us. + +Mediators are not to be of one side only, I said: and as they had been so +kindly free in blaming me, I hoped they would be as free with him, when +they saw him. + +And then it was, For God's sake, Charlotte; and, Let me entreat you, Lady +G----. And let me, too, beseech you, madam, said Emily, with tears +stealing down her cheeks. + +You are both very good: you are a sweet girl, Emily. I have a +too-playful heart. It will give me some pain, and some pleasure; but if +I had not more pleasure than pain from my play, I should not be so silly. + +My lord not coming in, and the dinner being ready, I ordered it to be +served.--Won't you wait a little longer for Lord G----? No. I hope he +is safe, and well. He is his own master, as well as mine; (I sighed, I +believe!) and, no doubt, has a paramount pleasure in pursuing his own +choice. + +They raved. I begged that they would let us eat our dinner with comfort. +My lord, I hoped, would come in with a keen appetite, and Nelthorpe +should get a supper for him that he liked. + +When we had dined, and retired into the adjoining drawing-room, I had +another schooling-bout: Emily was even saucy. But I took it all: yet, in +my heart, was vexed at Lord G----'s perverseness. + +At last, in came the honest man. He does not read this, and so cannot +take exceptions, and I hope you will not, at the word honest. + +So lordly! so stiff! so solemn!--Upon my word!--Had it not been Sunday, I +would have gone to my harpsichord directly. He bowed to Lord and Lady +L----, and to Emily, very obligingly; to me he nodded.--I nodded again; +but, like a good-natured fool, smiled. He stalked to the chimney; turned +his back towards it, buttoned up his mouth, held up his glowing face, as +if he were disposed to crow; yet had not won the battle.--One hand in his +bosom; the other under the skirt of his waistcoat, and his posture firmer +than his mind.--Yet was my heart so devoid of malice, that I thought his +attitude very genteel; and, had we not been man and wife, agreeable. + +We hoped to have found your lordship at home, said Lord L----, or we +should not have dined here. + +If Lord G---- is as polite a husband as a man, said I, he will not thank +your lordship for this compliment to his wife. + +Lord G---- swelled, and reared himself up. His complexion, which was +before in a glow, was heightened. + +Poor man! thought I.--But why should my tender heart pity obstinate +people?--Yet I could not help being dutiful.--Have you dined, my lord? +said I, with a sweet smile, and very courteous. + +He stalked to the window, and never a word answered he. + +Pray, Lady L----, be so good as to ask my Lord G---- if he has dined? +Was not this very condescending, on such a behaviour? + +Lady L---- asked him; and as gently-voiced as if she were asking the same +question of her own lord. Lady L---- is a kind-hearted soul, Harriet. +She is my sister. + +I have not, madam, to Lady L----, turning rudely from me, and, not very +civilly, from her. Ah! thought I, these men! The more they are courted +--Wretches! to find their consequence in a woman's meekness--Yet, I could +not forbear shewing mine.--Nature, Harriet! Who can resist constitution? + +What stiff airs are these! approaching him.--I do assure you, my lord, I +shall not take this behaviour well; and put my hand on his arm. + +I was served right. Would you believe it? The man shook off my +condescending hand, by raising his elbow scornfully. He really did! + +Nay, then!--I left him, and retired to my former seat. I was vexed that +it was Sunday: I wanted a little harmony. + +Lord and Lady L---- both blamed me, by their looks; and my lady took my +hand, and was leading me towards him. I shewed a little reluctance: and, +would you have thought it? out of the drawing-room whipt my nimble lord, +as if on purpose to avoid being moved by my concession. + +I took my place again. + +I beg of you, Charlotte, said Lady L----, go to my lord. You have used +him ill. + +When I think so, I will follow your advice, Lady L----. + +And don't you think so, Lady G----? said Lord L----. + +What! for taking my own option how I would be dressed to-day?--What! for +deferring--That moment in came my bluff lord--Have I not, proceeded I, +been forced to dine without him to-day? Did he let me know what account +I could give of his absence? Or when he would return?--And see, now, how +angry he looks! + +He traversed the room--I went on--Did he not shake off my hand, when I +laid it, smiling, on his arm? Would he answer me a question, which I +kindly put to him, fearing he had not dined, and might be sick for want +of eating? Was I not forced to apply to Lady L---- for an answer to my +careful question, on his scornfully turning from me in silence?--Might we +not, if he had not gone out so abruptly, nobody knows where, have made +the appearance his heart is so set upon?--But now, indeed, it is too +late. + +Oons, madam! said he, and he kimboed his arms, and strutted up to me. +Now for a cuff, thought I. I was half afraid of it: but out of the room +again capered he. + +Lord bless me, said I, what a passionate creature is this! + +Lord and Lady L---- both turned from me with indignation. But no wonder +if one, that they both did. They are a silly pair; and I believe have +agreed to keep each other in countenance in all they do. + +But Emily affected me. She sat before in one corner of the room, +weeping; and just then ran to me, and, wrapping her arms about me, Dear, +dear Lady G----, said she, for Heaven's sake, think of what our Miss +Byron said; 'Don't jest away your own happiness.' I don't say who is in +fault: but, my dear lady, do you condescend. It looks pretty in a woman +to condescend. Forgive me; I will run to my lord, and I will beg of +him---- + +Away she ran, without waiting for an answer--and, bringing in the +passionate wretch, hanging on his arm--You must not, my lord, indeed you +must not be so passionate. Why, my lord, you frighted me; indeed you +did. Such a word I never heard from your lordship's mouth-- + +Ay, my lord, said I, you give yourself pretty airs! Don't you? and use +pretty words; that a child shall be terrified at them! But come, come, +ask my pardon, for leaving me to dine without you. + +Was not that tender?--Yet out went Lord and Lady L----. To be sure they +did right, if they withdrew in hopes these kind words would have been +received as reconciliatory ones; and not in displeasure with me, as I am +half-afraid they did: for their good-nature (worthy souls!) does +sometimes lead them into misapprehensions. I kindly laid my hand on his +arm again.--He was ungracious.--Nay, my lord, don't once more reject me +with disdain--If you do--I then smiled most courteously. Carry not your +absurdities, my lord, too far: and I took his hand:--[There, Harriet, was +condescension!]--I protest, sir, if you give yourself any more of these +airs, you will not find me so condescending. Come, come, tell me you are +sorry, and I will forgive you. + +Sorry! madam; sorry!--I am indeed sorry, for your provoking airs! + +Why that's not ill said--But kimboed arms, my lord! are you not sorry for +such an air? And Oons! are you not sorry for such a word? and for such +looks too? and for quarreling with your dinner?--I protest, my lord, you +make one of us look like a child who flings away his bread and butter +because it has not glass windows upon it-- + +Not for one moment forbear, madam!-- + +Pr'ythee, pr'ythee--[I profess I had like to have said honest friend]--No +more of these airs; and, I tell you, I will forgive you. + +But, madam, I cannot, I will not-- + +Hush, hush; no more in that strain, and so loud, as if we had lost each +other in a wood--If you will let us be friends, say so--In an instant--If +not, I am gone--gone this moment--casting off from him, as I may say, +intending to mount up stairs. + +Angel, or demon, shall I call you? said he.--Yet I receive your hand, as +offered. But, for God's sake, madam, let us be happy! And he kissed my +hand, but not so cordially as it became him to do; and in came Lord and +Lady L---- with countenances a little ungracious. + +I took my seat next my own man, with an air of officiousness, hoping to +oblige him by it; and he was obliged: and another day, not yet quite +agreed upon, this parade is to be made. + +And thus began, proceeded, and ended, this doughty quarrel. And who +knows, but before the day is absolutely resolved upon, we may have half a +score more? Four, five, six days, as it may happen, is a great space of +time for people to agree, who are so much together; and one of whom is +playful, and the other will not be played with. But these kimbo and oons +airs, Harriet, stick a little in my stomach; and the man seems not to be +quite come to neither. He is sullen and gloomy, and don't prate away as +he used to do, when we have made up before. + +But I will sing him a song to-morrow: I will please the honest man, if I +can. But he really should not have had for a wife a woman of so sweet a +temper as your + +CHARLOTTE G----. + + + +LETTER XLII + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +MONDAY, MAY 8. + + +My lord and I have had another little--Tiff, shall I call it? It came +not up to a quarrel. Married people would have enough to do, if they +were to trouble their friends every time they misunderstood one another. +And now a word or two of other people: not always scribbling of +ourselves. + +We have just heard, that our cousin Everard has added another fool of our +sex to the number of the weak ones who disgrace it: A sorry fellow! He +has been seen with her, by one whom he would not know, at Cuper's +Gardens; dressed like a sea-officer, and skulking like a thief into the +privatest walks of the place. When he is tired of the poor wretch, he +will want to accommodate with us by promises of penitence and +reformation, as once or twice before. Rakes are not only odious, but +they are despicable fellows. You will the more clearly see this, when I +assure you, from those who know, that this silly creature our cousin is +looked upon, among his brother libertines, and smarts, as a man of first +consideration! + +He has also been seen, in a gayer habit, at a certain gaming-table, near +Covent Garden; where he did not content himself with being an idle +spectator. Colonel Winwood, our informant, shook his head, but made no +other answer, to some of our inquiries. May he suffer! say I.--A sorry +fellow! + +Preparations are going on all so-fast at Windsor. We are all invited. +God grant that Miss Mansfield may be as happy a Lady W----, as we all +conclude she will be! But I never was fond of matches between sober +young women, and battered old rakes. Much good may do the adventurers, +drawn in by gewgaw and title!--Poor things!--But convenience, when that's +the motive, whatever foolish girls think, will hold out its comforts, +while a gratified love quickly evaporates. + +Beauchamp, who is acquainted with the Mansfields, is intrusted by my +brother, in his absence, with the management of the law-affairs. He +hopes, he says, to give a good account of them. The base steward of the +uncle Calvert, who lived as a husband with the woman who had been forced +upon his superannuated master in a doting fit, has been brought, by the +death of one of the children born in Mr. Calvert's life-time, and by the +precarious health of the posthumous one, to make overtures of +accommodation. A new hearing of the cause between them and the Keelings, +is granted; and great things are expected from it in their favour, from +some new lights thrown in upon that suit. The Keelings are frightened +out of their wits, it seems; and are applying to Sir John Lambton, a +disinterested neighbour, to offer himself as a mediator between them. +The Mansfields will so soon be related to us, that I make no apology for +interesting you in their affairs. + +Be sure you chide me for my whimsical behaviour to Lord G----. I know +you will. But don't blame my heart: my head only is wrong. + + +*** + + +A little more from fresh informations of this sorry varlet Everard. I +wished him to suffer; but I wished him not to be so very great a sufferer +as it seems he is. Sharpers have bit his head off, quite close to his +shoulders: they have not left it him to carry under his arm, as the +honest patron of France did his. They lend it him, however, now and +then, to repent with, and curse himself. The creature he attended to +Cuper's Gardens, instead of a country innocent, as he expected her to be, +comes out to be a cast mistress, experienced in all the arts of such, and +acting under the secret influences of a man of quality; who, wanting to +get rid of her, supports her in a prosecution commenced against him (poor +devil!) for performance of covenants. He was extremely mortified, on +finding my brother gone abroad: he intends to apply to him for his pity +and help. Sorry fellow! He boasted to us, on our expectation of our +brother's arrival from abroad, that he would enter his cousin Charles +into the ways of the town. Now he wants to avail himself against the +practices of the sons of that town by his cousin's character and +consequence. + +A combination of sharpers, it seems, had long set him as a man of +fortune: but, on his taking refuge with my brother, gave over for a +time their designs upon him, till he threw himself again in their way. + +The worthless fellow had been often liberal of his promises of marriage +to young creatures of more innocence than this; and thinks it very hard +that he should be prosecuted for a crime which he had so frequently +committed with impunity. Can you pity him? I cannot, I assure you. The +man who can betray and ruin an innocent woman, who loves him, ought to be +abhorred by men. Would he scruple to betray and ruin them, if he were +not afraid of the law?--Yet there are women, who can forgive such +wretches, and herd with them. + +My aunt Eleanor is arrived: a good, plump, bonny-faced old virgin. She +has chosen her apartment. At present we are most prodigiously civil to +each other: but already I suspect she likes Lord G---- better than I +would have her. She will perhaps, if a party should be formed against +your poor Charlotte, make one of it. + +Will you think it time thrown away, to read a further account of what is +come to hand about the wretches who lately, in the double sense of the +word, were overtaken between St. Denis and Paris? + +Sir Hargrave Pollexfen, it seems, still keeps his chamber: he is thought +not to be out of danger from some inward hurt, which often makes him +bring up blood in quantities. He is miserably oppressed by lowness of +spirits; and when he is a little better in that respect, his impatience +makes his friends apprehensive for his head. But has he intellects +strong enough to give apprehensions of that nature? Fool and madman we +often join as terms of reproach; but I believe, fools seldom run really +mad. + +Merceda is in a still more dangerous way. Besides his bruises, and a +fractured skull, he has, it seems, a wound in his thigh, which, in the +delirium he was thrown into by the fracture, was not duly attended to; +and which, but for his valiant struggles against the knife which gave the +wound, was designed for a still greater mischief. His recovery is +despaired of; and the poor wretch is continually offering up vows of +penitence and reformation, if his life may be spared. + +Bagenhall was the person who had seduced, by promises of marriage, and +fled for it, the manufacturer's daughter of Abbeville. He was overtaken +by his pursuers at Douay. The incensed father, and friends of the young +woman, would not be otherwise pacified than by his performing his +promise; which, with infinite reluctance, he complied with, principally +through the threats of the brother, who is noted for his fierceness and +resolution; and who once made the sorry creature feel an argument which +greatly terrified him. Bagenhall is at present at Abbeville, living as +well as he can with his new wife, cursing his fate, no doubt, in secret. +He is obliged to appear fond of her before her brother and father; the +latter being also a sour man, a Gascon, always boasting of his family, +and valuing himself upon a De, affixed by himself to his name, and +jealous of indignity offered to it. The fierce brother is resolved to +accompany his sister to England, when Bagenhall goes thither, in order, +as he declares, to secure to her good usage, and see her owned and +visited by all Bagenhall's friends and relations. And thus much of these +fine gentlemen. + +How different a man is Beauchamp! But it is injuring him, to think of +those wretches and him at the same time. He certainly has an eye to +Emily, but behaves with great prudence towards her: yet every body but +she sees his regard for her: nobody but her guardian runs in her head; +and the more, as she really thinks it is a glory to love him, because of +his goodness. Every body, she says, has the same admiration of him, that +she has. + +Mrs. Reeves desires me to acquaint you, that Miss Clements, having, by +the death of her mother and aunt, come into a pretty fortune, is +addressed to by a Yorkshire gentleman of easy circumstances, and is +preparing to leave the town, having other connexions in that county; but +that she intends to write to you before she goes, and to beg you to +favour her with now and then a letter. + +I think Miss Clements is a good sort of young woman: but I imagined she +would have been one of those nuns at large, who need not make vows of +living and dying aunt Eleanors, or Lady Gertrudes; all three of them good +honest souls! chaste, pious, and plain. It is a charming situation, when +a woman is arrived at such a height of perfection, as to be above giving +or receiving temptation. Sweet innocents! They have my reverence, if +not my love. How would they be affronted, if I were to say pity!--I +think only of my two good aunts, at the present writing. Miss Clements, +you know, is a youngish woman; and I respect her much. One would not +jest upon the unsightliness of person, or plainness of feature: but think +you she will not be one of those, who twenty years hence may put in a +boast of her quondam beauty? + +How I run on! I think I ought to be ashamed of myself. + +'Very true, Charlotte.' + +And so it is, Harriet. I have done--Adieu!--Lord G---- will be silly +again, I doubt; but I am prepared. I wish he had half my patience. + +'Be quiet, Lord G----! What a fool you are!'--The man, my dear, under +pretence of being friends, run his sharp nose in my eye. No bearing his +fondness: It is worse than insolence. How my eye waters!--I can tell +him--But I will tell him, and not you.--Adieu, once more. + +CHARLOTTE G---- + + + +LETTER XLIII + +MR. LOWTHER, TO JOHN ARNOLD, ESQ. +(HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW) IN LONDON. +BOLOGNA, MAY 5-16. + + +I will now, my dear brother, give you a circumstantial account of our +short, but flying journey. The 20th of April, O.S. early in the morning, +we left Paris, and reached Lyons the 24th, at night. + +Resting but a few hours, we set out for Pont Beauvoisin, where we arrived +the following evening: There we bid adieu to France, and found ourselves +in Savoy, equally noted for its poverty and rocky mountains. Indeed it +was a total change of the scene. We had left behind us a blooming +spring, which enlivened with its verdure the trees and hedges on the road +we passed, and the meadows already smiled with flowers. The cheerful +inhabitants were busy in adjusting their limits, lopping their trees, +pruning their vines, tilling their fields: but when we entered Savoy, +nature wore a very different face; and I must own, that my spirits were +great sufferers by the change. Here we began to view on the nearer +mountains, covered with ice and snow, notwithstanding the advanced +season, the rigid winter, in frozen majesty, still preserving its +domains: and arriving at St. Jean Maurienne the night of the 26th, the +snow seemed as if it would dispute with us our passage; and horrible was +the force of the boisterous winds, which sat full in our faces. + +Overpowered by the fatigues I had undergone in the expedition we had +made, the unseasonable coldness of the weather, and the fight of one of +the worst countries under heaven, still clothed in snow, and deformed by +continual hurricanes; I was here taken ill. Sir Charles was greatly +concerned for my indisposition, which was increased by a great lowness of +spirits. He attended upon me in person; and never had man a more kind +and indulgent friend. Here we stayed two days; and then, my illness +being principally owing to fatigue, I found myself enabled to proceed. +At two of the clock in the morning of the 28th, we prosecuted our +journey, in palpable darkness, and dismal weather, though the winds were +somewhat laid, and reaching the foot of Mount Cenis by break of day, +arrived at Lanebourg, a poor little village, so environed by high +mountains, that for three months in the twelve, it is hardly visited by +the cheering rays of the sun. Every object which here presents itself is +excessively miserable. The people are generally of an olive complexion, +with wens under their chins; some so monstrous, especially women, as +quite disfigure them. + +Here it is usual to unscrew and take in pieces the chaises, in order to +carry them on mules over the mountain: and to put them together on the +other side: For the Savoy side of the mountain is much more difficult to +pass than the other. But Sir Charles chose not to lose time; and +therefore lest the chaise to the care of the inn-keeper; proceeding, with +all expedition, to gain the top of the hill. + +The way we were carried, was as follows:--A kind of horse, as it is +called with you, with two poles, like those of chairmen, was the vehicle; +on which is secured a sort of elbow chair, in which the traveller sits. +A man before, another behind, carry this open machine with so much +swiftness, that they are continually running and skipping, like wild +goats, from rock to rock, the four miles of that ascent. If a traveller +were not prepossessed that these mountaineers are the surest-footed +carriers in the universe, he would be in continual apprehensions of being +overturned. I, who never undertook this journey before, must own, that I +could not be so fearless, on this occasion as Sir Charles was, though he +had very exactly described to me how every thing would be. Then, though +the sky was clear when we passed this mountain, yet the cold wind blew +quantities of frozen snow in our faces; insomuch that it seemed to me +just as if people were employed, all the time we were passing, to wound +us with the sharpest needles. They indeed call the wind that brings this +sharp-pointed snow, The Tormenta. + +An adventure, which any-where else might have appeared ridiculous, I was +afraid would have proved fatal to one of our chairmen, as I will call +them. I had flapt down my hat to screen my eyes from the fury of that +deluge of sharp-pointed frozen-snow; and it was blown off my head, by a +sudden gust, down the precipices: I gave it for lost, and was about to +bind a handkerchief over the woolen-cap, which those people provide to +tie under the chin; when one of the assistant carriers (for they are +always six in number to every chair, in order to relieve one another) +undertook to recover it. I thought it impossible to be done; the passage +being, as I imagined, only practicable for birds: however, I promised him +a crown reward, if he did. Never could the leaps of the most dexterous +of rope-dancers be compared to those of this daring fellow: I saw him +sometimes jumping from rock to rock, sometimes rolling down a declivity +of snow like a ninepin, sometimes running, sometimes hopping, skipping; +in short, he descended like lightning to the verge of a torrent, where he +found the hat. He came up almost as quick, and appeared as little +fatigued, as if he had never left us. + +We arrived at the top in two hours, from Lanebourg; and the sun was +pretty high above the horizon. Out of a hut, half-buried in snow, came +some mountaineers, with two poor sledges, drawn by mules, to carry us +through the Plain of Mount Cenis, as it is called, which is about four +Italian miles in length, to the descent of the Italian side of the +mountain. These sledges are not much different from the chairs, or +sedans, or horse, we then quitted; only the two under poles are flat, and +not so long as the others, and turning up a little at the end, to hinder +them from sticking fast in the snow. To the fore-ends of the poles are +fixed two round sticks, about two feet and a half long, which serve for a +support and help to the man who guides the mule, who, running on the snow +between the mule and the sledge, holds the sticks with each hand. + +It was diverting to see the two sledgemen striving to outrun each other. + +Encouraged by Sir Charles's generosity, we very soon arrived at the other +end of the plain. The man who walked, or rather ran, between the sledge +and the mule, made a continual noise; hallooing and beating the stubborn +beast with his fists, which otherwise would be very slow in its motion. + +At the end of this plain we found such another hut as that on the +Lanebourg side. Here they took off the smoking mules from the sledges, +to give them rest. + +And now began the most extraordinary way of travelling that can be +imagined. The descent of the mountain from the top of this side, to a +small village called Novalesa, is four Italian miles. When the snow has +filled up all the inequalities of the mountain, it looks, in many parts, +as smooth and equal as a sugar-loaf. It is on the brink of this rapid +descent that they put the sledge. The man who is to guide it, sits +between the feet of the traveller, who is seated in the elbow-chair, with +his legs at the outside of the sticks fixed at the fore-ends of the flat +poles, and holds the two sticks with his hands; and when the sledge has +gained the declivity, its own weight carries it down with surprising +celerity. But as the immense irregular rocks under the snow make now +and then some edges in the declivity, which, if not avoided, would +overturn the sledge; the guide, who foresees the danger, by putting his +foot strongly and dexterously in the snow next to the precipice, turns +the machine, by help of the above-mentioned sticks, the contrary way, +and by way of zig-zag goes to the bottom. Such was the velocity of this +motion, that we dispatched these four miles in less than five minutes; +and, when we arrived at Novalesa, hearing that the snow was very deep +most of the way to Susa, and being pleased with our way of travelling, we +had some mules put again to the sledges, and ran all the way to the very +gates of that city, which is seven miles distant from Mount Cenis. + +In our way we had a cursory view of the impregnable fortress of Brunetta, +the greatest part of which is cut out of the solid rock, and commands +that important pass. + +We rested all night at Susa; and, having bought a very commodious +post-chaise, we proceeded to Turin, where we dined; and from thence, the +evening of May 2, O.S. got to Parma by way of Alexandria and Placentia, +having purposely avoided the high road through Milan, as it would have +cost us a few hours more time. + +Sir Charles observed to me, when we were on the plain or flat top of +Mount Cenis, that had not the winter been particularly long and severe, +we should have had, instead of this terrible appearance of snow there, +flowers starting up, as it were, under our feet, of various kinds, which +are hardly to be met with anywhere else. One of the greatest dangers, he +told me, in passing this mount in winter, arises from a ball of snow, +which is blown down from the top by the wind, or falls down by some other +accident; which, gathering all the way in its descent, becomes instantly +of such a prodigious bigness, that there is hardly any avoiding being +carried away with it, man and beast, and smothered in it. One of these +balls we saw rolling down; but as it took another course than ours, we +had no apprehension of danger from it. + +At Parma we found expecting us, the bishop of Nocera, and a very reverend +father, Marescotti by name; who expressed the utmost joy at the arrival +of Sir Charles Grandison, and received me, at his recommendation, with a +politeness which seems natural to them. I will not repeat what I have +written before of this excellent young gentleman; intrepidity, bravery, +discretion, as well as generosity, are conspicuous parts of his +character. He is studious to avoid danger; but is unappalled in it. For +humanity, benevolence, providence for others, to his very servants, I +never met with his equal. + +My reception from the noble family to which he has introduced me; the +patient's case, (a very unhappy one!); and a description of this noble +city, and the fine country about it; shall be the subject of my next. +Assure all my friends of my health, and good wishes for them; and, my +dear Arnold, believe me to be + +Ever yours, &c. + + + +LETTER XLIV + +SIR CHARLES GRANDISON, TO DR. BARTLETT +BOLOGNA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 10-21. + + +I told you, my dear and reverend friend, that I should hardly write to +you till I arrived in this city. + +The affair of my executorship obliged me to stay a day longer at Paris +than I intended; but I have put every thing relating to that trust in +such a way, as to answer all my wishes. + +Mr. Lowther wrote to Mr. Arnold, a friend of his in London, the +particulars of the extraordinary affair we were engaged in between St. +Denis and Paris; with desire that he would inform my friends of our +arrival at that capital. + +We were obliged to stop two days at St. Jean de Maurienne. The +expedition we travelled with was too much for Mr. Lowther; and I +expected, and was not disappointed, from the unusual backwardness of the +season, to find the passage over Mount Cenis less agreeable than it +usually is in the beginning of May. + +The bishop of Nocera had offered to meet me any where on his side of the +mountains. I wrote to him from Lyons, that I hoped to see him at Parma, +on or about the very day that I was so fortunate as to reach the palace +of the Count of Belvedere in that city; where I found, that he and Father +Marescotti had arrived the evening before. They, as well as the count, +expressed great joy to see me; and when I presented Mr. Lowther to them, +with the praises due to his skill, and let them know the consultations I +had had with eminent physicians of my own country on Lady Clementina's +case, they invoked blessings upon us both, and would not be interrupted +in them by my eager questions after the health and state of mind of the +two dearest persons of their family.--Unhappy! very unhappy! said the +bishop. Let us give you some refreshment, before we come to particulars. + +To my repeated inquiries, Jeronymo, poor Jeronymo! said the bishop, is +living, and that is all we can say.--The sight of you will be a cordial +to his heart. Clementina is on her journey to Bologna from Naples. You +desired to find her with us, and not at Naples. She is weak; is obliged +to travel slowly. She will rest at Urbino two or three days. Dear +creature! What has she not suffered from the cruelty of her cousin +Laurana, as well as from her malady! The general has been, and is, +indulgent to her. He is married to a lady of great merit, quality, and +fortune. He has, at length, consented that we shall try this last +experiment, as the hearts of my mother and now lately of my father, as +well as mine, are in it. His lady would not be denied accompanying my +sister; and as my brother could not bear being absent from her, he +travels with them. I wish he had stayed at Naples. I hope, however, he +will be as ready, as you will find us all, to acknowledge the favour of +this visit, and the fatigue and trouble you have given yourself on our +account. + +As to my sister's bodily health, proceeded he, it is greatly impaired. +We are almost hopeless, with regard to the state of her mind. She speaks +not; she answers not any questions. Camilla is with her. She seems +regardless of any body else. She has been told, that the general is +married. His lady makes great court to her; but she heeds her not. We +are in hopes, that my mother, on her return to Bologna, will engage her +attention. She never yet was so bad as to forget her duty, either to +God, or her parents. Sometimes Camilla thinks she pays some little +attention to your name; but then she instantly starts, as in terror; +looks round her with fear; puts her finger to her lips, as if she dreaded +her cruel cousin Laurana should be told of her having heard it mentioned. + +The bishop and father both regretted that she had been denied the +requested interview. They were now, they said, convinced, that if that +had been granted, and she had been left to Mrs. Beaumont's friendly care, +a happy issue might have been hoped for: But now, said the bishop--Then +sighed, and was silent. + +I despatched Saunders, early the next morning, to Bologna, to procure +convenient lodgings for me, and Mr. Lowther. + +In the afternoon we set out for that city. The Count of Belvedere found +an opportunity to let me know his unabated passion for Clementina, and +that he had lately made overtures to marry her, notwithstanding her +malady; having been advised, he said, by proper persons, that as it was +not an hereditary, but an accidental disorder, it might be, in time, +curable. He accompanied us about half way in our journey; and, at +parting, Remember, chevalier, whispered he, that Clementina is the soul +of my hope: I cannot forego that hope. No other woman will I ever call +mine. + +I heard him in silence: I admired him for his attachment: I pitied him. +He said, he would tell me more of his mind at Bologna. + +We reached Bologna on the 15th, N.S. Saunders had engaged for me the +lodgings I had before. + +Our conversation on the road turned chiefly on the case of Signor +Jeronymo. The bishop and father were highly pleased with the skill, +founded on practice, which evidently appeared in all that Mr. Lowther +said on the subject: and the bishop once intimated, that, be the event +what it would, his journey to Italy should be made the most beneficial +affair to him he had ever engaged in. Mr. Lowther replied, that as he +was neither a necessitous nor a mean-spirited man, and had reason to be +entirely satisfied with the terms I had already secured to him; he should +take it unkindly, if any other reward were offered him. + +Think, my dear Dr. Bartlett, what emotions I must have on entering, once +more, the gates of the Porretta palace, though Clementina was not there. + +I hastened up to my Jeronymo, who had been apprized of my arrival. The +moment he saw me, Do I once more, said he, behold my friend, my +Grandison? Let me embrace the dearest of men. Now, now, have I lived +long enough. He bowed his head upon his pillow, and meditated me; his +countenance shining with pleasure in defiance of pain. + +The bishop entered: he could not be present at our first interview. + +My lord, said Jeronymo, make it your care that my dear friend be treated, +by every soul of our family, with the gratitude and respect which are due +to his goodness. Methinks I am easier and happier, this moment, than I +have been for the tedious space of time since I last saw him. He named +that space of time to the day, and to the very hour of the day. + +The marquis and marchioness signifying their pleasure to see me, the +bishop led me to them. My reception from the marquis was kind; from his +lady it was as that of a mother to a long-absent son. I had ever been, +she was pleased to say, a fourth son in her eye; and now, that she had +been informed that I had brought over with me a surgeon of experience, +and the advice in writing of eminent physicians of my country, the +obligations I had laid on their whole family, whatever were the success, +were unreturnable. + +I asked leave to introduce Mr. Lowther to them. They received him with +great politeness, and recommended their Jeronymo to his best skill. Mr. +Lowther's honest heart was engaged, by a reception so kind. He never, he +told me afterwards, beheld so much pleasure and pain struggling in the +same countenance, as in that of the lady; so fixed a melancholy, as in +that of the marquis. + +Mr. Lowther is a man of spirit, though a modest man. He is, as on every +proper occasion I found, a man of piety; and has a heart tender as manly. +Such a man, heart and hand, is qualified for a profession which is the +most useful and certain in the art of healing. He is a man of sense and +learning out of his profession, and happy in his address. + +The two surgeons who now attend Signor Jeronymo, are both of this +country. They were sent for. With the approbation, and at the request, +of the family, I presented Mr. Lowther to them; but first gave them his +character, as a modest man, as a man of skill, and experience; and told +them, that he had quitted business, and wanted not either fame or +fortune. + +They acquainted him with the case, and their methods of proceeding. Mr. +Lowther assisted in the dressings that very evening. Jeronymo would have +me to be present. Mr. Lowther suggested an alteration in their method, +but in so easy and gentle a manner, as if he doubted not, but such was +their intention when the state of the wounds would admit of that method +of treatment, that the gentlemen came readily into it. A great deal of +matter had been collected, by means of the wrong methods pursued; and he +proposed, if the patient's strength would bear it, to make an aperture +below the principal wound, in order to discharge the matter downward; and +he suggested the dressing with hollow tents and bandage, and to dismiss +the large tents, with which they had been accustomed to distend the +wound, to the extreme anguish of the patient, on pretence of keeping it +open, to assist the discharge. + +Let me now give you, my dear friend, a brief history of my Jeronymo's +case, and of the circumstances which have attended it; by which you will +be able to account for the difficulties of it, and how it has happened, +that, in such a space of time, either the cure was not effected, or that +the patient yielded not to the common destiny. + +In lingering cases, patients or their friends are sometimes too apt to +blame their physicians, and to listen to new recommendations. The +surgeons attending this unhappy case, had been more than once changed. +Signor Jeronymo, it seems, was unskilfully treated by the young surgeon +of Cremona, who was first engaged: he neglected the most dangerous wound; +and, when he attended to it, managed it wrong, for want of experience. +He is, therefore, very properly dismissed. + +The unhappy man had at first three wounds: one in his breast, which had +been for some time healed; one in his shoulder, which, through his own +impatience, having been too suddenly healed up, was obliged to be laid +open again: the other, which is the most dangerous, in the hip-joint. + +A surgeon of this place, and another of Padua, were next employed. The +cure not advancing, a surgeon of eminence, from Paris, was sent for. + +Mr. Lowther tells me, that this man's method was by far the most +eligible; but that he undertook too much; since, from the first, there +could not be any hope, from the nature of the wound in the hip-joint, +that the patient could ever walk, without sticks or crutches: and of this +opinion were the other two surgeons: but the French gentleman was so very +pragmatical, that he would neither draw with them, nor give reasons for +what he did; regarding them only as his assistants. They could not long +bear this usage, and gave up to him in disgust. + +How cruel is punctilio, among men of this science, in cases of difficulty +and danger! + +The present operators, when the two others had given up, were not, but by +leave of the French gentleman, called in. He valuing himself on his +practice in the Royal Hospital of Invalids at Paris, looked upon them as +theorists only; and treated them with as little ceremony as he had shewn +the others: so that at last, from their frequent differences, it became +necessary to part with either him, or them. His pride, when he knew that +this question was a subject of debate, would not allow him to leave the +family an option. He made his demand: it was complied with; and he +returned to Paris. + +From what this gentleman threw out at parting, to the disparagement of +the two others, Signor Jeronymo suspected their skill; and from a hint of +this suspicion, as soon as I knew I should be welcome myself, I procured +the favour of Mr. Lowther's attendance. + +All Mr. Lowther's fear is, that Signor Jeronymo has been kept too long in +hand by the different managements of the several operators; and that he +will sink under the necessary process, through weakness of habit. But, +however, he is of opinion, that it is requisite to confine him to a +strict diet, and to deny him wine and fermented liquors, in which he has +hitherto been indulged, against the opinion of his own operators, who +have been too complaisant to his appetite. + +An operation somewhat severe was performed on his shoulder yesterday +morning. The Italian surgeons complimented Mr. Lowther with the lancet. +They both praised his dexterity; and Signor Jeronymo, who will be +consulted on every thing that he is to suffer, blessed his gentle hand. + +At Mr. Lowther's request, a physician was yesterday consulted; who +advised some gentle aperitives, as his strength will bear it; and some +balsamics, to sweeten the blood and juices. + +Mr. Lowther told me just now, that the fault of the gentlemen who have +now the care of him, has not been want of skill, but of critical courage, +and a too great solicitude to oblige their patient; which, by their own +account, had made them forego several opportunities which had offered to +assist nature. In short, sir, said he, your friend knows too much of his +own case to be ruled, and too little to qualify him to direct what is to +be done, especially as symptoms must have been frequently changing. + +Mr. Lowther doubts not, he says, but he shall soon convince Jeronymo that +he merits his confidence, and then he will exact it from him; and, in so +doing, shall not only give weight to his own endeavours to serve him, but +rid the other two gentlemen of embarrasments which have often given them +diffidences, when resolution was necessary. + +In the mean time the family here are delighted with Mr. Lowther. They +will flatter themselves, they say, with hopes of their Jeronymo's +recovery; which, however, Mr. Lowther, for fear of disappointment, does +not encourage. Jeronymo himself owns, that his spirits are much revived; +and we all know the power that the mind has over the body. + +Thus have I given you, my reverend friend, a general notion of Jeronymo's +case, as I understand it from Mr. Lowther's as general representation of +it. + +He has prevailed upon him to accept of an apartment adjoining to that of +his patient. Jeronymo said, that when he knows he has so skilful a +friend near him, he shall go to rest with confidence; and good rest is of +the highest consequence to him. What a happiness, my dear Dr. Bartlett, +will fall to my share, if I may be an humble instrument, in the hand of +Providence, to heal this brother; and if his recovery shall lead the way +to the restoration of his sister; each so known a lover of the other, +that the world is more ready to attribute her malady to his misfortune +and danger, than to any other cause! But how early days are these, on +which my love and my compassion for persons so meritorious, embolden me +to build such forward hopes! + +Lady Clementina is now impatiently expected by every one. She is at +Urbino. The general and his lady are with her. His haughty spirit +cannot bear to think she should see me, or that my attendance on her +should be thought of so much importance to her. + +The marchioness, in a conversation that I have just now had with her, +hinted this to me, and besought me to keep my temper, if his high notion +of family and female honour should carry him out of his usual politeness. + +I will give you, my dear friend, the particulars of this conversation. + +She began with saying, that she did not, for her part, now think, that +her beloved daughter, whom once she believed hardly any private man could +deserve, was worthy of me, even were she to recover her reason. + +I could not but guess the meaning of so high a compliment. What answer +could I return that would not, on one hand, be capable of being thought +cool; on the other, of being supposed interested; and as if I were +looking forward to a reward that some of the family still think too high? +But, while I knew my own motives, I could not be displeased with a lady +who was not at liberty to act, in this point, according to her own will. + +I only said, (and it was with truth,) That the calamity of the noble lady +had endeared her to me, more than it was possible the most prosperous +fortune could have done. + +I, my good chevalier, may say any thing to you. We are undetermined +about every thing. We know not what to propose, what to consent to. +Your journey, on the first motion, though but from some of us, the dear +creature continuing ill; you in possession of a considerable estate, +exercising yourself in doing good in your native country; [You must think +we took all opportunities of inquiring after the man once so likely to be +one of us;] the first fortune in Italy, Olivia, though she is not a +Clementina, pursuing you in hopes of calling herself yours; (for to +England we hear she went, and there you own she is;) What obligations +have you laid upon us!--What can we determine upon? What can we wish? + +Providence and you, madam, shall direct my steps. I am in yours and your +lord's power. The same uncertainty, from the same unhappy cause, leaves +me not the thought, because not the power, of determination. The +recovery of Lady Clementina and her brother, without a view to my own +interest, fills up, at present, all the wishes of my heart. + +Let me ask, said the lady, (it is for my own private satisfaction,) Were +such a happy event, as to Clementina, to take place, could you, would +you, think yourself bound by your former offers? + +When I made those offers, madam, the situation on your side was the same +that it is now: Lady Clementina was unhappy in her mind. My fortune, it +is true, is higher: it is, indeed, as high as I wish it to be. I then +declared, that if you would give me your Clementina, without insisting on +one hard, on one indispensable article, I would renounce her fortune, and +trust to my father's goodness to me for a provision. Shall my accession +to the estate of my ancestors alter me?--No, madam: I never yet made an +offer, that I receded from, the circumstances continuing the same. If, +in the article of residence, the marquis, and you, and Clementina, would +relax; I would acknowledge myself indebted to your goodness; but without +conditioning for it. + +I told you, said she, that I put this question only for my own private +satisfaction: and I told you truth. I never will deceive or mislead you. +Whenever I speak to you, it shall be as if, even in your own concerns, I +spoke to a third person; and I shall not doubt but you will have the +generosity to advise, as such, though against yourself. + +May I be enabled to act worthy of your good opinion! I, madam, look upon +myself as bound; you and yours are free. + +What a pleasure is it, my dear Dr. Bartlett, to the proud heart of your +friend, that I could say this!--Had I sought, in pursuance of my own +inclinations, to engage the affections of the admirable Miss Byron, as I +might with honour have endeavoured to do, had not the woes of this noble +family, and the unhappy state of mind of their Clementina, so deeply +affected me; I might have involved myself, and that loveliest of women, +in difficulties which would have made such a heart as mine still more +unhappy than it is. + +Let me know, my dear Dr. Bartlett, that Miss Byron is happy. I rejoice, +whatever be my own destiny, that I have not involved her in my +uncertainties. The Countess of D---- is a worthy woman: the earl, her +son, is a good young man: Miss Byron merits such a mother; the countess +such a daughter. How dear, how important, is her welfare to me!--You +know your Grandison, my good Dr. Bartlett. Her friendship I presumed to +ask: I dared not to wish to correspond with her. I rejoice, for her +sake, that I trusted not my heart with such a proposal. What +difficulties, my dear friend, have I had to encounter with!--God be +praised, that I have nothing, with regard to these two incomparable +women, to reproach myself with. I am persuaded that our prudence, if +rashly we throw not ourselves into difficulties, and if we will exert it, +and make a reliance on the proper assistance, is generally proportioned +to our trials. + +I asked the marchioness after Lady Sforza, and her daughter Laurana; and +whether they were at Milan? + +You have heard, no doubt, answered she, the cruel treatment that my poor +child met with from her cousin Laurana. Lady Sforza justifies her in it. +We are upon extreme bad terms, on that account. They are both at Milan. +The general has vowed, that he never will see them more, if he can avoid +it. The bishop, only as a Christian, can forgive them. You, chevalier, +know the reason why we cannot allow our Clementina to take the veil. + +The particular reasons I have not, madam, been inquisitive about; but +have always understood them to be family ones, grounded on the dying +request of one of her grandfathers. + +Our daughter, sir, is entitled to a considerable estate which joins to +our own domains. It was purchased for her by her two grandfathers; who +vied with each other in demonstrating their love of her by solid effects. +One of them (my father) was, in his youth, deeply in love with a young +lady of great merit; and she was thought to love him: but, in a fit of +pious bravery, as he used to call it, when everything between themselves, +and between the friends on both sides, was concluded on, she threw +herself into a convent; and, passing steadily through the probationary +forms, took the veil; but afterwards repented, and took pains to let it +be known that she was unhappy. This gave him a disgust against the +sequestered life, though he was, in other respects, a zealous Catholic. +And Clementina having always a serious turn; in order to deter her from +embracing it, (both grandfathers being desirous of strengthening their +house, as well in the female as male line,) they inserted a clause in +each of their wills, by which they gave the estate designed for her, in +case she took the veil, to Laurana, and her descendants; Laurana to enter +into possession of it on the day that Clementina should be professed. +But if Clementina married, Laurana was then to be entitled only to a +handsome legacy, that she might not be entirely disappointed: for the +reversion, in case Clementina had no children, was to go to our eldest +son; who, however, has been always generously solicitous to have his +sister marry. + +Both grandfathers were rich. Our son Giacomo, on my father's death, as +he had willed, entered upon a considerable estate in the kingdom of +Naples, which had for ages been in my family: he is therefore, and will +be, greatly provided for. Our second son has great prospects before him, +in the church: but you know he cannot marry. Poor Jeronymo! We had not, +before his misfortune, any great hopes of strengthening the family by his +means: he, alas! (as you well know, who took such laudable pains to +reclaim him, before we knew you,) with great qualities, imbibed free +notions from bad company, and declared himself a despiser of marriage. +This the two grandfathers knew, and often deplored; for Jeronymo and +Clementina were equally their favourites. To him and the bishop they +bequeathed great legacies. + +We suspected not, till very lately, that Laurana was deeply in love with +the Count of Belvedere; and that her mother and she had views to drive +our sweet child into a convent, that Laurana might enjoy the estate; +which they hoped would be an inducement to the count to marry her. Cruel +Laurana! Cruel Lady Sforza! So much love as they both pretended to our +child; and, I believe, had, till the temptation, strengthened by power, +became too strong for them. Unhappy the day that we put her into their +hands. + +Besides the estate so bequeathed to Clementina, we can do great things +for her: few Italian families are so rich as ours. Her brothers forget +their own interest, when it comes into competition with hers: she is as +generous as they. Our four children never knew what a contention was, +but who should give up an advantage to the other. This child, this sweet +child, was ever the delight of us all, and likewise of our brother the +Conte della Porretta. What joy would her recovery and nuptials give us! +--Dear creature! we have sometimes thought, that she is the fonder of the +sequestered life, as it is that which we wish her not to embrace.--But +can Clementina be perverse? She cannot. Yet that was the life of her +choice, when she had a choice, her grandfathers' wishes notwithstanding. + +Will you now wonder, chevalier, that neither our sons nor we can allow +Clementina to take the veil? Can we so reward Laurana for her cruelty? +Especially now, that we suspect the motives for her barbarity? Could I +have thought that my sister Sforza--But what will not love and avarice +do, their powers united to compass the same end; the one reigning in the +bosom of the mother, the other in that of the daughter? Alas! alas! they +have, between them, broken the spirit of my Clementina. The very name of +Laurana gives her terror--So far is she sensible. But, O sir, her +sensibility appears only when she is harshly treated! To tenderness she +had been too much accustomed, to make her think an indulgent treatment +new, or unusual. + +I dread, my dear Dr. Bartlett, yet am impatient, to see the unhappy lady. +I wish the general were not to accompany her. I am afraid I shall want +temper, if he forget his. My own heart, when it tells me, that I have +not deserved ill usage, (from my equals and superiors in rank, +especially,) bids me not bear it. I am ashamed to own to you, my +reverend friend, that pride of spirit, which, knowing it to be my fault, +I ought long ago to have subdued. + +Make my compliments to every one I love. Mr. and Mrs. Reeves are of the +number. + +Charlotte, I hope, is happy. If she is not, it must be her own fault. +Let her know, that I will not allow, when my love to both sisters is +equal, that she shall give me cause to say that Lady L---- is my best +sister. + +Lady Olivia gives me uneasiness. I am ashamed, my dear Dr. Bartlett, +that a woman of a rank so considerable, and who has some great qualities, +should lay herself under obligation to the compassion of a man who can +only pity her. When a woman gets over that delicacy, which is the test +or bulwark, as I may say, of modesty--Modesty itself may soon lie at the +mercy of an enemy. + +Tell my Emily, that she is never out of my mind; and that, among the +other excellent examples she has before her, Miss Byron's must never be +out of hers. + +Lord L---- and Lord G---- are in full possession of my brotherly love. + +I shall not at present write to my Beauchamp. In writing to you, I write +to him. + +You know all my heart. If in this, or my future letters, any thing +should fall from my pen, that would possibly in your opinion affect or +give uneasiness to any one I love and honour, were it to be communicated; +I depend upon your known and unquestionable discretion to keep it to +yourself. + +I shall be glad you will enable yourself to inform me of the way Sir +Hargrave and his friends are in. They were very ill at Paris; and, it +was thought, too weak, and too much bruised, to be soon carried over to +England. Men! Englishmen! thus to disgrace themselves, and their +country!--I am concerned for them! + +I expect large packets by the next mails from my friends. England, which +was always dear to me, never was half so dear as now, to + +Your ever-affectionate +GRANDISON. + + +END OF VOLUME 4 + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HISTORY OF SIR CHARLES +GRANDISON, VOLUME 4 (OF 7)*** + + +******* This file should be named 13884-8.txt or 13884-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/8/8/13884 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + diff --git a/old/13884-8.zip b/old/13884-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7be7ee0 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13884-8.zip diff --git a/old/13884.txt b/old/13884.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f787143 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13884.txt @@ -0,0 +1,12498 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The History of Sir Charles Grandison, Volume +4 (of 7), by Samuel Richardson + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: The History of Sir Charles Grandison, Volume 4 (of 7) + +Author: Samuel Richardson + +Release Date: October 27, 2004 [eBook #13884] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HISTORY OF SIR CHARLES +GRANDISON, VOLUME 4 (OF 7)*** + + +E-text prepared by Julie C. Sparks + + + +THE HISTORY OF SIR CHARLES GRANDISON, VOLUME IV + +by + +SAMUEL RICHARDSON + + + + + + + +CONTENTS OF VOLUME IV + + +LETTER I. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +A tenth letter from Dr. Bartlett: Description of a formal visit Sir +Charles Grandison paid to the whole of the Porretta family assembled: +their different characters clearly displayed on this occasion; and the +affectionate parting of Sir Charles and his friend Jeronymo. + +LETTER II. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +An eleventh letter from Dr. Bartlett: Signor Jeronymo writes to Sir +Charles Grandison an account of what farther passed in conversation +between the family after his departure. + +LETTER III. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Dr. Bartlett's twelfth letter: Sir Charles Grandison takes leave of his +friends at Bologna, and is setting out for Florence; when he receives +a friendly letter from Signor Jeronymo, by which he learns that +Clementina had earnestly entreated her father to permit her to see him +once again before his departure; but that she had met with an absolute +refusal: Jeronymo also describes the ill-treatment of his sister by her +aunt, and her resignation under her trials. Sir Charles arrives at +Naples, and there visits Clementina's brother, the general: account of +his reception, and of the conversation that passed between them. + +LETTER IV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Dr. Bartlett's thirteenth letter; containing an account of Sir Charles +Grandison's final departure from Italy; and various matters relative to +the Porretta family; the persecutions Clementina endured from her +relations; and a letter Sir Charles Grandison received from Mrs. +Beaumont.--Dr. Bartlett concludes with an apostrophe on the brevity of +all human affairs. + +LETTER V. Miss Harriet Byron to Miss Lucy Selby.-- +Explanation of the causes of Sir Charles Grandison's uneasiness, +occasioned by intelligence lately brought him from abroad. Miss Byron +wishes that Sir Charles was proud and vain, that she might with the more +ease cast of her acknowledged shackles. She enumerates the engagements +that engross the time of Sir Charles; and mentions her tender regard +toward the two sons of Mrs. Oldham, the penitent mistress of his father +Sir Thomas. A visit from the Earl of G----, and his sister Lady +Gertrude. + +LETTER VI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles Grandison dines with Sir Hargrave Pollexfen and his gay +friends; his reflections on the riots and excesses frequently committed +at the jovial meetings of gay and thoughtless young men. Sir Charles +negociates a treaty of marriage for Lord W----; and resolves to attempt +the restoring of the oppressed Mansfield-family to their rights. + +LETTER VII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Farther traits in the character of Sir Charles Grandison. + +LETTER VIII. Sir Charles Grandison to Dr. Bartlett.-- +Sir Charles describes the interview he had with Sir Harry Beauchamp and +his lady; and how he appeased the anger of the imperious lady. His +farther proceedings in favour of the Mansfields. + +LETTER IX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +A visit from the Countess of D----, and the earl her son. Account of the +young earl's person and deportment. Miss Byron confesses to the +countess, that her heart is already a wedded heart, and that she cannot +enter into a second engagement. Reflections on young men being sent by +their parents to travel to foreign countries. + +LETTER X. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Various self-debatings and recriminations that passed through the young +lady's mind on the expectation of breakfasting with Sir Charles +Grandison. + +LETTER XI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles Grandison communicates to Miss Byron the farther distressing +intelligence he had received from Bologna:--His friend Signor Jeronymo +dangerously ill, his sister Clementina declining in health, and their +father and mother absorbed in melancholy. The communication comes from +the bishop of Nocera, Clementina's second brother; who entreats Sir +Charles to make one more visit to Bologna. Farther affecting information +from Mrs. Beaumont respecting Lady Clementina's cruel treatment at the +palace of Milan, and her removal from thence to Naples. Sir Charles +resolves on going to Bologna. Miss Byron's dignified and generous +conduct on the occasion. + +LETTER XII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Informs her of the generosity and kind condescension of Sir Charles to +Mrs. Oldham and her family, as related by Miss Grandison: their +difference of opinion on that subject. + +LETTER XIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +An early visit from Miss Jervois, who communicates with much pleasure +the particulars of a late interview she had with her mother: relates a +conversation that passed between her guardian, Mrs. O'Hara, and Captain +Salmonet: describes the affectionate behaviour of Sir Charles to her, on +introducing her to her mother; and his kind instructions concerning her +deportment on the occasion. + +LETTER XIV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles solicits his sister to fix the day for her marriage before he +leaves England. Visit from Lord G----, the Earl, and Lady Gertrude. +Miss Grandison unusually thoughtful all the time of dinner. The Earl of +G---- and Lady Gertrude request a conference with Sir Charles after +dinner. Purport of it. Miss Grandison's reluctance to so early a day as +her brother names, but at length accedes to his powerful entreaties; +though wholly unprepared, she says. + +LETTER XV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Serious conversation between Miss Byron and Miss Grandison concerning the +approaching marriage. The latter expresses her indifference for Lord +G----; compares his character with that of her brother; entreats Miss +Byron to breakfast with her the next day, and to remain with her till the +event takes place. + +LETTER XVI. Miss Grandison to Miss Byron.-- +Ludicrous description of three marriages given by Miss Grandison, with +the anticipation of her own. + +LETTER XVII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Great preparations for Miss Grandison's marriage: her generous offer to +Miss Byron of her share of her mother's jewels, who refuses to accept of +them, and gives her opinion as to their disposal. Miss Grandison is +pleased with the hint, and acts accordingly. Account of Dr. Bartlett's +interesting conversation with Miss Byron on the subject of Sir Charles +going to Italy, and his attachment to Miss Byron. The young lady's +emotions: her alternate hopes and fears: she resolves on relinquishing +Sir Charles in favour of Lady Clementina. + +LETTER XVIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Debate concerning the place where the marriage ceremony is to be +performed. Conversation between Miss Byron and Miss Grandison +interrupted by Lady Gertrude. Miss Byron expresses much concern for Lord +G----, from Miss Grandison's present conduct to him; but is inclined to +hope that an alteration may be effected. + +LETTER XIX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Account of Sir Charles's return from Windsor: his joy on restoring the +worthy family of the Mansfields from oppression: his interview with his +friend Beauchamp, at Sir Harry's; and cheerful behaviour at his sister's +wedding, though his own heart is torn with uncertainty. Farther proofs +of his esteem for Miss Byron. + +LETTER XX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles briefly lays before his sister the duties of a married life: +some remarks on her behaviour. Lord W----'s generosity to his nieces o +Lady G----'s marriage. Painful reflections on the departure of Sir +Charles. Opinions of the proper age for the marrying of women. + +LETTER XXI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Conversation with Dr. Bartlett. Artless remarks of Miss Jervois, and her +censures on the conduct of Lady G---- to her lord. Mr. Galliard proposes +an alliance for Sir Charles. Contrast between Lady G---- and Lady L---- +in disposing of their uncle's present. Miss Byron's perturbed state of +mind: the cause of it. Her noble resolution in favour of Lady +Clementina. + +LETTER XXII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Conference between Lord W---- and Sir Charles on the management of +servants: their conduct frequently influenced by example. Remarks on +the helpless state of single women. Plan proposed for erecting +Protestant Nunneries in England, and places of refuge for penitent +females. + +LETTER XXIII. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Invitation to dinner. Account of a matrimonial altercation, and of the +arrival of Lady Olivia. + +LETTER XXIV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Encloses Lady G----'s letter, and describes her concern for Lord G----. + +LETTER XXV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Lady Olivia is introduced to Miss Byron. Some traits in that lady's +character related by Dr. Bartlett. She declares her passion for Sir +Charles to Lady L----. She endeavours to prevail on him to defer his +voyage, and is indignant at meeting with a refusal. Miss Byron's exalted +behaviour. + +LETTER XXVI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Conversation with Sir Charles regarding Lord and Lady G----. His anxiety +for their happiness; but hopes much from Miss Byron's influence over her +sister. + +LETTER XXVII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Sir Charles departs unexpectedly, from the kindest motives. The concern +and solicitude of his friends. Miss Byron's mind much agitated. The +eldest of Mrs. Oldham's sons presented with a pair of colours by Sir +Charles. + +LETTER XXVIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Account of Lady Olivia's behaviour. Her horrid attempt to stab Sir +Charles. Miss Byron describes the state of her own mind, and resolves +to return to Northamptonshire. + +LETTER XXIX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Particulars of a very interesting conversation with Mrs. Reeves and Lady +D----. Miss Byron's ingenuous reply to Lady D----'s interrogation. Her +explanation of some of Sir Charles's expressions in the library. +Conference which had formerly embarrassed her. + +LETTER XXX. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Preparations for her journey into Northamptonshire. Regrets at parting +with friends. Lady Olivia is desirous of visiting Miss Byron. Remarks +on politeness. Unpleasant consequences sometimes resulting from it. +Remarks on the conduct of Sir Charles. + +LETTER XXXI. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Lady G---- quarrels with her lord, who entreat Miss Byron's assistance in +effecting a reconciliation. That lady's kind advice and opinion. Lady +G---- resumes her good humour; but will not acknowledge herself to have +been in the wrong. + +LETTER XXXII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Relates what passed on a visit of Lady Olivia. Miss Byron pities the +impetuosity of her temper, and admires her many amiable qualities. Pays +another visit to Lady G----; and gives an account of the reconciliation +between her and her husband. + +LETTER XXXIII. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Mr. Fowler brings a letter from Sir Rowland Meredith, most affectionately +soliciting the hand of Miss Byron in favour of his nephew. + +LETTER XXXIV. Miss Byron to Sir Rowland Meredith.-- +She regards Sir Rowland as her father; avows her affection for Sir +Charles, notwithstanding his engagements with another lady, and disclaims +the generous intentions of Sir Rowland in her favour, in his will. + +LETTER XXXV. Miss Byron to Miss Selby.-- +Arrangements for her journey. Thoughts on public amusements. +Retrospect. Tender parting with Dr. Bartlett. + +LETTER XXXVI. Miss Byron to Lady G----.-- +Description of her journey: account of those friends, who accompanied her +to Dunstable; and of those who met her there, from Northamptonshire; of +Mr. Grenville and Mr. Fenwick's collation for her at Stratford; of Mr. +Orme again saluting her by the highway-side, as the coach passed his +park-wall; and of her kind reception at Selby-house. + +LETTER XXXVII. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +The opinions of the Dunstable party respecting Miss Byron. Charms of the +mind superior to those of person. Lady G----'s opinion of Miss Byron's +aunt Selby, and of her cousins Lucy and Nancy; thinks her uncle's wit too +much studied; defends her own character, and the attack made by herself +and sister on Miss Byron at Colnebrooke. Lord G---- proposes parting +with his collection of moths and shells: gives the latter to Miss +Jervois, at his lady's request, and presents Lady G---- with a set of old +Japan china. + +LETTER XXXVIII. Miss Jervois to Miss Byron.-- +Her regret at parting with Miss Byron at Stratford: encomiums on her +guardian and Mr. Beauchamp: censures the conduct of Lady G---- to her +lord. Instance of her dutiful behaviour to her mother, on accidentally +meeting with her. + +LETTER XXXIX. Miss Byron to Lady G----.-- +Reproves Lady G---- for her levity. Does not find the society of her +country friends relieve the anxiety of her mind: laments the absence of +those she has just left: is visited by Mr. Fenwick, Mr. Grenville, and +Mr. Orme. Mr. Grenville's rudeness, and her own magnanimity. Hears of +Sir Hargrave Pollexfen's return. + +LETTER XL. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Ideas of female delicacy. Report of Sir Hargrave's return confirmed. +Sir Charles meets with an adventure on the road to Paris. Delivers Sir +Hargrave and Mr. Merceda from the chastisement of an enraged husband. +Sir Charles's firmness and temper on the occasion. + +LETTER XLI. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Reflections on the amusements of London. Her love of contradiction. She +pins her apron to Lord G----'s coat, and blames him for it. He wishes +her to be presented at court. Quarrel on the occasion. + +LETTER XLII. Lady G---- to Miss Byron.-- +Favourable issue expected of the law-suit between the Mansfields and the +Keelings. Mr. Everard Grandison ruined by gamesters, and threatened with +a prosecution for a breach of promise of marriage. The arrival of her +aunt Eleanor. Sir Hargrave and Mr. Merceda in a dangerous state. Mr. +Bagenhall obliged to marry the manufacturer's daughter of Abbeville, whom +he had seduced. Miss Clements comes into a fortune by the death of her +mother and aunt. + +LETTER XLIII. Mr. Lowther to John Arnold, Esq.-- +Quits Paris with Sir Charles, and arrives at St. Jean Maurienne. +Description of the country. Mr. Lowther is detained by indisposition. +Sir Charles and he proceed on their journey. Account of the manner of +crossing the mountains. They arrive at Parma. Their reception by the +bishop of Nocera and Father Marescotti. + +LETTER XLIV. Sir Charles Grandison to Dr. Bartlett.-- +The bishop of Nocera's melancholy account of the health of his brother +and sister. The Count of Belvedere acquaints Sir Charles with his +unabated passion for Lady Clementina. Affecting interview between Sir +Charles and Signor Jeronymo. He is kindly received by the marquis and +marchioness. The sufferings of Jeronymo under the hands of an unskilful +surgeon, with a brief history of his case. Sir Charles tells the +marchioness that he considers himself bound by his former offers, should +Clementina recover. The interested motives of Lady Sforza and Laurana +for treating Clementina with cruelty. Remarks on Lady Olivia's conduct, +and on female delicacy. Sir Charles recommends Miss Byron as a pattern +for his ward, and laments the depravity of Sir Hargrave and his friends. + + + + + +LETTER I + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +Miss Byron, To Miss Selby. + +O my Lucy! What think you!--But it is easy to guess what you must think. +I will, without saying one word more, enclose + + +DR. BARTLETT'S TENTH LETTER + +The next day (proceeds my patron) I went to make my visit to the family. +I had nothing to reproach myself with; and therefore had no other concern +upon me but what arose from the unhappiness of the noble Clementina: that +indeed was enough. I thought I should have some difficulty to manage my +own spirit, if I were to find myself insulted, especially by the general. +Soldiers are so apt to value themselves on their knowledge of what, after +all, one may call but their trade, that a private gentleman is often +thought too slightly of by them. Insolence in a great man, a rich man, +or a soldier, is a call upon a man of spirit to exert himself. But I +hope, thought I, I shall not have this call from any one of a family I so +greatly respect. + +I was received by the bishop; who politely, after I had paid my +compliments to the marquis and his lady, presented me to those of the +Urbino family to whom I was a stranger. Every one of those named by +Signor Jeronymo, in his last letter, was present. + +The marquis, after he had returned my compliment, looked another way, to +hide his emotion: the marchioness put her handkerchief to her eyes, and +looked upon me with tenderness; and I read in them her concern for her +Clementina. + +I paid my respects to the general with an air of freedom, yet of regard; +to my Jeronymo, with the tenderness due to our friendship, and +congratulated him on seeing him out of his chamber. His kind eyes +glistened with pleasure; yet it was easy to read a mixture of pain in +them; which grew stronger as the first emotions at seeing me enter, gave +way to reflection. + +The Conte della Porretta seemed to measure me with his eye. + +I addressed myself to Father Marescotti, and made my particular +acknowledgments to him for the favour of his visit, and what had passed +in it. He looked upon me with pleasure; probably with the more, as this +was a farewell visit. + +The two ladies whispered, and looked upon me, and seemed to bespeak each +other's attention to what passed. + +Signor Sebastiano placed himself next to Jeronymo, and often whispered +him, and as often cast his eye upon me. He was partial to me, I believe, +because my generous friend seemed pleased with what he said. + +His brother, Signor Juliano, sat on the other hand of me. They are +agreeable and polite young gentlemen. + +A profound silence succeeded the general compliments. + +I addressed myself to the marquis: Your lordship, and you, madam, turning +to the marchioness, I hope will excuse me for having requested of you the +honour of being once more admitted to your presence, and to that of three +brothers, for whom I shall ever retain the most respectful affection. I +could not think of leaving a city, where one of the first families in it +has done me the highest honour, without taking such a leave as might shew +my gratitude.--Accept, my lords, bowing to each; accept, madam, more +profoundly bowing to the marchioness, my respectful thanks for all your +goodness to me. I shall, to the end of my life, number most of the days +that I have passed at Bologna among its happiest, even were the remainder +to be as happy as man ever knew. + +The marquis said, We wish you, chevalier, very happy; happier than--He +sighed, and was silent. + +His lady only bowed. Her face spoke distress. Her voice was lost in +sighs, though she struggled to suppress them. + +Chevalier, said the bishop, with an air of solemnity, you have given us +many happy hours: for them we thank you. Jeronymo, for himself, will say +more: he is the most grateful of men. We thank you also for what you +have done for him. + +I cannot, said Jeronymo, express suitably my gratitude: my prayers, my +vows, shall follow you whithersoever you go, best of friends, and best of +men! + +The general, with an air and a smile that might have been dispensed with, +oddly said, High pleasure and high pain are very near neighbours: they +are often guilty of excesses, and then are apt to mistake each other's +house. I am one of those who think our whole house obliged to the +chevalier for the seasonable assistance he gave to our Jeronymo. But-- + +Dear general, said Lady Juliana, bear with an interruption: the intent of +this meeting is amicable. The chevalier is a man of honour. Things may +have fallen out unhappily; yet nobody to blame. + +As to blame, or otherwise, said the Conte della Porretta, that is not now +to be talked of; else, I know where it lies: in short, among ourselves. +The chevalier acted greatly by Signor Jeronymo: we were all obliged to +him: but to let such a man as this have free admission to our daughter-- +She ought to have had no eyes. + +Pray, my lord, pray, brother, said the marquis, are we not enough +sufferers? + +The chevalier, said the general, cannot but be gratified by so high a +compliment; and smiled indignantly. + +My lord, replied I to the general, you know very little of the man before +you, if you don't believe him to be the most afflicted man present. + +Impossible! said the marquis, with a sigh. + +The marchioness arose from her seat, motioning to go; and turning round +to the two ladies, and the count, I have resigned my will to the will of +you all, my dearest friends, and shall be permitted to withdraw. This +testimony, however, before I go, I cannot but bear: Wherever the fault +lay, it lay not with the chevalier. He has, from the first to the last, +acted with the nicest honour. He is entitled to our respect. The +unhappiness lies nowhere but in the difference of religion. + +Well, and that now is absolutely out of the question, said the general: +it is indeed, chevalier. + +I hope, my lord, from a descendant of a family so illustrious, to find an +equal exemption from wounding words, and wounding looks; and that, sir, +as well from your generosity, as from your justice. + +My looks give you offence, chevalier!--Do they? + +I attended to the marchioness. She came towards me. I arose, and +respectfully took her hand.--Chevalier, said she, I could not withdraw +without bearing the testimony I have borne to your merits. I wish you +happy.--God protect you, whithersoever you go. Adieu. + +She wept. I bowed on her hand with profound respect. She retired with +precipitation. It was with difficulty that I suppressed the rising tear. +I took my seat. + +I made no answer to the general's last question, though it was spoken in +such a way (I saw by their eyes) as took every other person's notice. + +Lady Sforza, when her sister was retired, hinted, that the last interview +between the young lady and me was an unadvised permission, though +intended for the best. + +I then took upon me to defend that step. Lady Clementina, said I, had +declared, that if she were allowed to speak her whole mind to me, she +should be easy. I had for some time given myself up to absolute despair. +The marchioness intended not favour to me in allowing of the interview: +it was the most affecting one to me I had ever known. But let me say, +that, far from having bad effects on the young lady's mind, it had good +ones. I hardly knew how to talk upon a subject so very interesting to +every one present, but not more so to any one than to myself. I thought +of avoiding it; and have been led into it, but did not lead. And since +it is before us, let me recommend, as the most effectual way to restore +every one to peace and happiness, gentle treatment. The most generous of +human minds, the most meek, the most dutiful, requires not harsh +methods. + +How do you know, sir, said the general, and looked at Jeronymo, the +methods now taken-- + +And are they then harsh, my lord? said I. + +He was offended. + +I had heard, proceeded I, that a change of measures was resolved on. I +knew that the treatment before had been all gentle, condescending, +indulgent. I received but yesterday letters from my father, signifying +his intention of speedily recalling me to my native country. I shall set +out very soon for Paris, where I hope to meet with his more direct +commands for this long-desired end. What may be my destiny, I know not; +but I shall carry with me a heart burdened with the woes of this family, +and distressed for the beloved daughter of it. But let me bespeak you +all, for your own sakes, (mine is out of the question: I presume not upon +any hope on my own account,) that you will treat this angelic-minded lady +with tenderness. I pretend to say, that I know that harsh or severe +methods will not do. + +The general arose from his seat, and, with a countenance of fervor, next +to fierceness--Let me tell you, Grandison, said he-- + +I arose from mine, and going to Lady Sforza, who sat next him, he stopt, +supposing me going to him, and seemed surprised, and attentive to my +motions: but, disregarding him, I addressed myself to that lady. You, +madam, are the aunt of Lady Clementina: the tender, the indulgent mother +is absent, and has declared, that she resigns her will to the will of her +friends present--Allow me to supplicate, that former measures may not be +changed with her. Great dawnings of returning reason did I discover in +our last interview. Her delicacy (never was there a more delicate mind) +wanted but to be satisfied. It was satisfied, and she began to be easy. +Were her mind but once composed, the sense she has of her duty, and what +she owes to her religion, would restore her to your wishes: but if she +should be treated harshly, (though I am sure, if she should, it would be +with the best intention,) Clementina will be lost. + +The general sat down. They all looked upon one another. The two ladies +dried their eyes. The starting tear would accompany my fervor. And then +stepping to Jeronymo, who was extremely affected; My dear Jeronymo, said +I, my friend, my beloved friend, cherish in your noble heart the memory +of your Grandison: would to God I could attend you to England! We have +baths there of sovereign efficacy. The balm of a friendly and grateful +heart would promote the cure. I have urged it before. Consider of it. + +My Grandison, my dear Grandison, my friend, my preserver! You are not +going!-- + +I am, my Jeronymo, and embraced him. Love me in absence, as I shall you. + +Chevalier, said the bishop, you don't go? We hope for your company at a +small collation.--We must not part with you yet. + +I cannot, my lord, accept the favour. Although I had given myself up to +despair of obtaining the happiness to which I once aspired; yet I was not +willing to quit a city that this family had made dear to me, with the +precipitation of a man conscious of misbehaviour. I thank you for the +permission I had to attend you all in full assembly. May God prosper +you, my lord; and may you be invested with the first honours of that +church which must be adorned by so worthy a heart! It will be my glory, +when I am in my native place, or wherever I am, to remember that I was +once thought not unworthy of a rank in a family so respectable. Let me, +my lord, be entitled to your kind remembrance. + +He pulled out his handkerchief. My lord, said he, to his father; my +Lord, to the general; Grandison must not go!--and sat down with emotion. + +Lady Sforza wept: Laurana seemed moved: the two young lords, Sebastiano +and Juliano, were greatly affected. + +I then addressed myself to the marquis, who sat undetermined, as to +speech: My venerable lord, forgive me, that my address was not first paid +here. My heart overflows with gratitude for your goodness in permitting +me to throw myself at your feet, before I took a last farewell of a city +favoured with your residence. Best of fathers, of friends, of men, let +me entreat the continuance of your paternal indulgence to the child +nearest, and deserving to be nearest, to your heart. She is all you and +her mother. Restore her to yourself, and to her, by your indulgence: +that alone, and a blessing on your prayers, can restore her. Adieu, my +good lord: repeated thanks for all your hospitable goodness to a man that +will ever retain a grateful sense of your favour. + +You will not yet go, was all he said--he seemed in agitation. He could +not say more. + +I then, turning to the count his brother, who sat next him, said, I have +not the honour to be fully known to your lordship: some prejudices from +differences in opinion may have been conceived: but if you ever hear +anything of the man before you unworthy of his name, and of the favour +once designed him; then, my lord, blame, as well as wonder at, the +condescension of your noble brother and sister in my favour. + +Who, I! Who, I! said that lord, in some hurry.--I think very well of +you. I never saw a man, in my life, that I liked so well! + +Your lordship does me honour. I say this the rather, as I may, on this +solemn occasion, taking leave of such honourable friends, charge my +future life with resolutions to behave worthy of the favour I have met +with in this family. + +I passed from him to the general--Forgive, my lord, said I, the seeming +formality of my behaviour in this parting scene: it is a very solemn one +to me. You have expressed yourself of me, and to me, my lord, with more +passion, (forgive me, I mean not to offend you,) than perhaps you will +approve in yourself when I am far removed from Italy. For have you not a +noble mind? And are you not a son of the Marquis della Porretta? Permit +me to observe, that passion will make a man exalt himself, and degrade +another; and the just medium will be then forgot. I am afraid I have +been thought more lightly of, than I ought to be, either in justice, or +for the honour of a person who is dear to every one present. My country +was once mentioned with disdain: think not my vanity so much concerned in +what I am going to say, as my honour: I am proud to be thought an +Englishman: yet I think as highly of every worthy man of every nation +under the sun, as I do of the worthy men of my own. I am not of a +contemptible race in my own country. My father lives in it with the +magnificence of a prince. He loves his son; yet I presume to add, that +that son deems his good name his riches; his integrity his grandeur. +Princes, though they are entitled by their rank to respect, are princes +to him only as they act. + +A few words more, my lord. + +I have been of the hearing, not of the speaking side of the question, in +the two last conferences I had the honour to hold with your lordship. +Once you unkindly mentioned the word triumph. The word at the time went +to my heart. When I can subdue the natural warmth of my temper, then, +and then only, I have a triumph. I should not have remembered this, had +I not now, my lord, on this solemn occasion, been received by you with an +indignant eye. I respect your lordship too much not to take notice of +this angry reception. My silence upon it, perhaps, would look like +subscribing before this illustrious company to the justice of your +contempt: yet I mean no other notice than this; and this to demonstrate +that I was not, in my own opinion at least, absolutely unworthy of the +favour I met with from the father, the mother, the brothers, you so +justly honour, and which I wished to stand in with you. + +And now, my lord, allow me the honour of your hand; and, as I have given +you no cause for displeasure, say, that you will remember me with +kindness, as I shall honour you and your whole family to the last day of +my life. + +The general heard me out; but it was with great emotion. He accepted not +my hand; he returned not any answer: the bishop arose, and, taking him +aside, endeavoured to calm him. + +I addressed myself to the two young lords, and said, that if ever their +curiosity led them to visit England, where I hoped to be in a few months, +I should be extremely glad of cultivating their esteem and favour, by the +best offices I could do them. + +They received my civility with politeness. + +I addressed myself next to Lady Laurana--May you, madam, the friend, the +intimate, the chosen companion of Lady Clementina, never know the +hundredth part of the woe that fills the breast of the man before you, +for the calamity that has befallen your admirable cousin, and, because of +that, a whole excellent family. Let me recommend to you, that tender and +soothing treatment to her, which her tender heart would shew to you, in +any calamity that should befall you. I am not a bad man, madam, though +of a different communion from yours. Think but half so charitably of me, +as I do of every one of your religion who lives up to his professions, +and I shall be happy in your favourable thoughts when you hear me spoken +of. + +It is easy to imagine, Dr. Bartlett, that I addressed myself in this +manner to this lady whom I had never before seen, that she might not +think the harder of her cousin's prepossessions in favour of a +Protestant. + +I recommended myself to the favour of Father Marescotti. He assured me +of his esteem, in very warm terms. + +And just as I was again applying to my Jeronymo, the general came to me: +You cannot think, sir, said he, nor did you design it, I suppose, that I +should be pleased with your address to me. I have only this question to +ask, When do you quit Bologna? + +Let me ask your lordship, said I, when do you return to Naples? + +Why that question, sir? haughtily. + +I will answer you frankly. Your lordship, at the first of my +acquaintance with you, invited me to Naples. I promised to pay my +respects to you there. If you think of being there in a week, I will +attend you at your own palace in that city; and there, my lord, I hope, +no cause to the contrary having arisen from me, to be received by you +with the same kindness and favour that you shewed when you gave me the +invitation. I think to leave Bologna to-morrow. + +O brother! said the bishop, are you not now overcome? + +And are you in earnest? said the general. + +I am, my lord. I have many valuable friends, at different courts and +cities in Italy, to take leave of. I never intend to see it again. I +would look upon your lordship as one of those friends; but you seem still +displeased with me. You accepted not my offered hand before; once more I +tender it. A man of spirit cannot be offended at a man of spirit, +without lessening himself. I call upon your dignity, my lord. + +He held out his hand, just as I was withdrawing mine. I have pride, you +know, Dr. Bartlett; and I was conscious of a superiority in this +instance: I took his hand, however, at his offer; yet pitied him, that +his motion was made at all, as it wanted that grace which generally +accompanies all he does and says. + +The bishop embraced me.--Your moderation, thus exerted, said he, must +ever make you triumph. O Grandison! you are a prince of the Almighty's +creation. + +The noble Jeronymo dried his eyes, and held out his arms to embrace me. + +The general said, I shall certainly be at Naples in a week. I am too +much affected by the woes of my family, to behave as perhaps I ought on +this occasion. Indeed, Grandison, it is difficult for sufferers to act +with spirit and temper at the same time. + +It is, my lord; I have found it so. My hopes raised, as once they were, +now sunk, and absolute despair having taken place of them--Would to God I +had never returned to Italy!--But I reproach not any body. + +Yet, said Jeronymo, you have some reason--To be sent for as you were-- + +He was going on--Pray, brother, said the general--And turning to me, I +may expect you, sir, at Naples? + +You may, my lord. But one favour I have to beg of you mean time. It is, +that you will not treat harshly your dear Clementina. Would to Heaven I +might have had the honour to say, my Clementina! And permit me to make +one other request on my own account: and that is, that you will tell her, +that I took my leave of your whole family, by their kind permission; and +that, at my departure, I wished her, from my soul, all the happiness that +the best and tenderest of her friends can wish her! I make this request +to you, my lord, rather than to Signor Jeronymo, because the tenderness +which he has for me might induce him to mention me to her in a manner +which might, at this time, affect her too sensibly for her peace. + +Be pleased, my dear Signor Jeronymo, to make my devotion known to the +marchioness. Would to Heaven--But adieu! and once more adieu, my +Jeronymo. I shall hear from you when I get to Naples, if not before.-- +God restore your sister, and heal you! + +I bowed to the marquis, to the ladies, to the general, to the bishop, +particularly; to the rest in general; and was obliged, in order to +conceal my emotion, to hurry out at the door. The servants had planted +themselves in a row; not for selfish motives, as in England: they bowed +to the ground, and blessed me, as I went through them. I had ready a +purse of ducats. One hand and another declined it: I dropt it in their +sight. God be with you, my honest friends! said I; and departed--O, Dr. +Bartlett, with a heart how much distressed! + + +And now, my good Miss Byron, Have I not reason, from the deep concern +which you take in the woes of Lady Clementina, to regret the task you +have put me upon? And do you, my good Lord and Lady L----, and Miss +Grandison, now wonder that your brother has not been forward to give you +the particulars of this melancholy tale? Yet you all say, I must +proceed. + + +See, Lucy, the greatness of this man's behaviour! What a presumption was +it in your Harriet, ever to aspire to call such a one hers! + + + +LETTER II + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +This Lady Olivia, Lucy, what can she pretend to--But I will not puzzle +myself about her--Yet she pretend to give disturbance to such a man! You +will find her mentioned in Dr. Bartlett's next letter; or she would not +have been named by me. + + +*** + + +DR. BARTLETT'S ELEVENTH LETTER + +Mr. Grandison, on his return to his lodgings, found there, in disguise, +Lady Olivia. He wanted not any new disturbance. But I will not mix the +stories. + +The next morning he received a letter from Signor Jeronymo. The +following is a translation of it: + + +*** + + +My dearest Grandison! + +How do you?--Ever amiable friend! What triumphs did your behaviour of +last night obtain for you! Not a soul here but admires you! + +Even Laurana declared, that, were you a Catholic, it would be a merit to +love you. Yet she reluctantly praised you, and once said, What, but +splendid sins, are the virtues of a heretic? + +Our two cousins, with the good-nature of youth, lamented that you could +not be ours in the way you wish. My father wept like a child, when you +were gone; and seemed to enjoy the praises given you by every one. The +count said, he never saw a nobler behaviour in man. Your free, your +manly, your polite air and address, and your calmness and intrepidity, +were applauded by every one. + +What joy did this give to your Jeronymo! I thought I wanted neither +crutches, helps, nor wheeled chair; and several times forgot that I ailed +any thing. + +I begin to love Father Marescotti. He was with the foremost in praising +you. + +The general owned, that he was resolved once to quarrel with you. But +will he, do you think, Jeronymo, said he, make me a visit at Naples? + +You may depend upon it, he will, answered I---- + +I will be there to receive him, replied he. + +They admired you particularly for your address to my sister, by the +general, rather than by me. And Lady Sforza said, it was a thousand +pities that you and Clementina could not be one. They applauded, all of +them, what they had not, any of them, the power to imitate, that +largeness of heart which makes you think so well, and speak so tenderly, +of those of communions different from your own. So much steadiness in +your own religion, yet so much prudence, in a man so young, they said, +was astonishing! No wonder that your character ran so high, in every +court you had visited. + +My mother came in soon after you had left us. She was equally surprised +and grieved to find you gone. She thought she was sure of your staying +supper; and, not satisfied with the slight leave she had taken, she had +been strengthening her mind to pass an hour in your company, in order to +take a more solemn one. + +My father asked her after her daughter. + +Poor soul! said she, she has heard that the chevalier was to be here, to +take leave of us. + +By whom? by whom? said my father. + +I cannot tell: but the poor creature is half-raving to be admitted among +us. She has dressed herself in one of her best suits; and I found her +sitting in a kind of form, expecting to be called down. Indeed, Lady +Sforza, the method we are in, does not do. So the chevalier said, +replied that lady. Well, let us change it, with all my heart. It is no +pleasure to treat the dear girl harshly--O sister! this is a most +extraordinary man! + +That moment in bolted Camilla--Lady Clementina is just at the door. I +could not prevail upon her-- + +We all looked upon one another. + +Three soft taps at the door, and a hem, let us know she was there. + +Let her come in, dear girl, let her come in, said the count: the +chevalier is not here. + +Laurana arose, and ran to the door, and led her in by the hand. + +Dear creature, how wild she looked!--Tears ran down my cheeks: I had not +seen her for two days before. O how earnestly did she look round her! +withdrawing her hand from her cousin, who would have led her to a chair, +and standing quite still. + +Come and sit by me, my sweet love, said her weeping mother.--She stept +towards her. + +Sit down, my dear girl. + +No: you beat me, remember. + +Who beat you, my dear?--Sure nobody would beat my child!--Who beat you, +Clementina? + +I don't know--Still looking round her, as wanting somebody. + +Again her mother courted her to sit down. + +No, madam, you don't love me. + +Indeed, my dear, I do. + +So you say. + +Her father held out his open arms to her. Tears ran down his cheeks. He +could not speak.--Ah, my father! said she, stepping towards him. + +He caught her in his arms--Don't, don't, sir, faintly struggling, with +averted face--You love me not--You refused to see your child, when she +wanted to claim your protection!--I was used cruelly. + +By whom, my dear? by whom? + +By every body. I complained to one, and to another; but all were in a +tone: and so I thought I would be contented. My mamma, too!--But it is +no matter. I saw it was to be so; and I did not care. + +By my soul, said I, this is not the way with her, Lady Sforza. The +chevalier is in the right. You see how sensible she is of harsh +treatment. + +Well, well, said the general, let us change our measures. + +Still the dear girl looked out earnestly, as for somebody. + +She loosed herself from the arms of her sorrowing father. + +Let us in silence, said the count, observe her motions. + +She went to him on tip-toe, and looking in his face over his shoulder, as +he sat with his back towards her, passed him; then to the general; then +to Signor Sebastiano; and to every one round, till she came to me; +looking at each over his shoulder in the same manner: then folding her +fingers, her hands open, and her arms hanging down to their full extent, +she held up her face meditating, with such a significant woe, that I +thought my heart would have burst.--Not a soul in the company had a dry +eye. + +Lady Sforza arose, took her two hands, the fingers still clasped, and +would have spoken to her, but could not; and hastily retired to her seat. + +Tears, at last, began to trickle down her cheeks, as she stood fixedly +looking up. She started, looked about her, and hastening to her mother, +threw her arms about her neck; and, hiding her face in her bosom, broke +out into a flood of tears, mingled with sobs that penetrated every heart. + +The first words she said, were, Love me, my mamma! Love your child! your +poor child! your Clementina! Then raising her head, and again laying it +in her mother's bosom--If ever you loved me, love me now, my mamma!--I +have need of your love! + +My father was forced to withdraw. He was led out by his two sons. + +Your poor Jeronymo was unable to help himself. He wanted as much comfort +as his father. What were the wounds of his body, at that time, to those +of his mind? + +My two brothers returned. This dear girl, said the bishop, will break +all our hearts. + +Her tears had seemed to relieve her. She held up her head. My mother's +bosom seemed wet with her child's tears and her own. Still she looked +round her. + +Suppose, said I, somebody were to name the man she seems to look for? It +may divert this wildness. + +Did she come down, said Laurana to Camilla, with the expectation of +seeing him? + +She did. + +Let me, said the bishop, speak to her. He arose, and, taking her hand, +walked with her about the room. You look pretty, my Clementina! Your +ornaments are charmingly fancied. What made you dress yourself so +prettily? + +She looked earnestly at him, in silence. He repeated his question--I +speak, said she, all my heart; and then I suffer for it. Every body is +against me. + +You shall not suffer for it: every body is for you. + +I confessed to Mrs. Beaumont; I confessed to you, brother: but what did I +get by it?--Let go my hand. I don't love you, I believe. + +I am sorry for it. I love you, Clementina, as I love my own soul! + +Yet you never chide your own soul! + +He turned his face from her to us. She must not be treated harshly, said +he. He soothed her in a truly brotherly manner. + +Tell me, added he to his soothings, Did you expect any body here, that +you find not? + +Did I? Yes, I did.--Camilla, come hither.--Let go my hand, brother. + +He did. She took Camilla under the arm--Don't you know, Camilla, said +she, what you heard said of somebody's threatening somebody?--Don't let +anybody hear us; drawing her to one end of the room.--I want to take a +walk with you into the garden, Camilla. + +It is dark night, madam. + +No matter. If you are afraid, I will go by myself. + +Seem to humour her in talk, Camilla, said the count; but don't go out of +the room with her. + +Be pleased to tell me, madam, what we are to walk in the garden for? + +Why, Camilla, I had a horrid dream last night; and I cannot be easy till +I go into the garden. + +What, madam, was your dream? + +In the orange grove, I thought I stumbled over the body of a dead man! + +And who was it, madam? + +Don't you know who was threatened? And was not somebody here to night? +And was not somebody to sup here? And is he here? + +The general then went to her. My dearest Clementina; my beloved sister; +set your heart at rest. Somebody is safe: shall be safe. + +She took first one of his hands, then the other; and looking in the palms +of them, They are not bloody, said she.--What have you done with him, +then? Where is he? + +Where is who? + +You know whom I ask after; but you want something against me. + +Then stepping quick up to me: My Jeronymo!--Did I see you before? and +stroked my cheek.--Now tell me, Jeronymo--Don't come near me, Camilla. +Pray, sir, to the general, do you sit down. She leaned her arm upon my +shoulder: I don't hurt you, Jeronymo: do I? + +No, my dearest Clementina! + +That's my best brother.--Cruel assassins!--But the brave man came just in +time to save you.--But do you know what is become of him? + +He is safe, my dear. He could not stay. + +Did any body affront him? + +No, my love. + +Are you sure nobody did?--Very sure? Father Marescotti, said she, turning +to him, (who wept from the time she entered,) you don't love him: but you +are a good man, and will tell me truth. Where is he? Did nobody affront +him? + +No, madam. + +Because, said she, he never did any thing but good to any one. + +Father Marescotti, said I, admires him as much as any body. + +Admire him! Father Marescotti admire him!--But he does not love him. +And I never heard him say one word against Father Marescotti in my life. +--Well, but, Jeronymo, what made him go away, then? Was he not to stay +supper? + +He was desired to stay; but would not. + +Jeronymo, let me whisper you--Did he tell you that I wrote him a letter? + +I guessed you did, whispered I. + +You are a strange guesser: but you can't guess how I sent it to him--But +hush, Jeronymo--Well, but, Jeronymo, Did he say nothing of me, when he +went away? + +He left his compliments for you with the general. + +With the general! The general won't tell me! + +Yes, he will.--Brother, pray tell my sister what the chevalier said to +you, at parting. + +He repeated, exactly, what you had desired him to say to her. + +Why would they not let me see him? said she. Am I never to see him more? + +I hope you will, replied the bishop. + +If, resumed she, we could have done any thing that might have looked like +a return to his goodness to us (and to you, my Jeronymo, in particular) I +believe I should have been easy.--And so you say he is gone?--And gone +for ever! lifting up her hand from her wrist, as it lay over my shoulder: +Poor chevalier!--But hush, hush, pray hush, Jeronymo. + +She went from me to her aunt, and cousin Laurana. Love me again, madam, +said she, to the former. You loved me once. + +I never loved you better than now, my dear. + +Did you, Laurana, see the Chevalier Grandison? + +I did. + +And did he go away safe, and unhurt? + +Indeed he did. + +A man who had preserved the life of our dear Jeronymo, said she, to have +been hurt by us, would have been dreadful, you know. I wanted to say a +few words to him. I was astonished to find him not here: and then my +dream came into my head. It was a sad dream, indeed! But, cousin, be +good to me: pray do. You did not use to be cruel. You used to say, you +loved me. I am in calamity, my dear. I know I am miserable. At times I +know I am; and then I am grieved at my heart, and think how happy every +one is, but me: but then, again, I ail nothing, and am well. But do love +me, Laurana: I am in calamity, my dear. I would love you, if you were in +calamity: indeed I would.--Ah, Laurana! What is become of all your fine +promises? But then every body loved me, and I was happy!--Yet you tell +me, it is all for my good. Naughty Laurana, to wound my heart by your +crossness, and then say, it is for my good!--Do you think I should have +served you so? + +Laurana blushed, and wept. Her aunt promised her, that every body would +love her, and comfort her, and not be angry with her, if she would make +her heart easy. + +I am very particular, my dear Grandison. I know you love I should be so. +From this minuteness, you will judge of the workings of her mind. They +are resolved to take your advice, (it was very seasonable,) and treat her +with indulgence. The count is earnest to have it so. + + +*** + + +Camilla has just left me. She says, that her young lady had a tolerable +night. She thinks it owing, in a great measure, to her being indulged in +asking the servants, who saw you depart, how you looked; and being +satisfied that you went away unhurt, and unaffronted. + +Adieu, my dearest, my best friend. Let me hear from you, as often as you +can. + + +*** + + +I just now understand from Camilla, that the dear girl has made an +earnest request to my father, mother, and aunt; and been refused. She +came back from them deeply afflicted; and, as Camilla fears, is going +into one of her gloomy fits again. I hope to write again, if you depart +not from Bologna before to-morrow: but I must, for my own sake, write +shorter letters. Yet how can I? Since, however melancholy the subject, +when I am writing to you, I am conversing with you. My dear Grandison, +once more adieu. + + +O Lucy, my dear! Whence come all the tears this melancholy story has +cost me? I cannot dwell upon the scenes!--Begone, all those wishes that +would interfere with the interest of that sweet distressed saint at +Bologna! + +How impolitic, Lucy, was it in them, not to gratify her impatience to see +him! She would, most probably, have been quieted in her mind, if she had +been obliged by one other interview. + +What a delicacy, my dear, what a generosity, is there in her love! + +Sir Charles, in Lord L----'s study, said to me, that his compassion was +engaged, but his honour was free: and so it seems to be: but a generosity +in return for her generosity, must bind such a mind as his. + + + +LETTER III + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +In the doctor's next letter, enclosed, you will find mention made of Sir +Charles's Literary Journal. I fancy, my dear, it must be a charming +thing. I wish we could have before us every line he wrote while he was +in Italy. Once the presumptuous Harriet had hopes, that she might have +been entitled--But no more of these hopes--It can't be helped, Lucy. + + +*** + + +DR. BARTLETT'S TWELFTH LETTER + +Mr. Grandison proceeds thus: + +The next morning I employed myself in visiting and taking leave of +several worthy members of the university, with whom I had passed many +very agreeable and improving hours, during my residence in this noble +city. In my Literary Journal you have an account of those worthy +persons, and of some of our conversations. I paid my duty to the +cardinal legate, and the gonfaloniere, and to three of his counsellors, +by whom, you know, I had been likewise greatly honoured. My mind was not +free enough to enjoy their conversation: such a weight upon my heart, how +could it? But the debt of gratitude and civility was not to be left +unpaid. + +On my return to my lodgings, which was not till the evening, I found, the +general had been there to inquire after me. + +I sent one of my servants to the palace of Porretta, with my compliments +to the general, to the bishop, and Jeronymo; and with particular +inquiries after the health of the ladies, and the marquis; but had only a +general answer, that they were much as I left them. + +The two young lords, Sebastiano and Juliano, made me a visit of ceremony. +They talked of visiting England in a year or two. I assured them of my +best services, and urged them to go thither. I asked them after the +healths of the marquis, the marchioness, and their beloved cousin +Clementina. Signor Sebastiano shook his head: very, very indifferent, +were his words. We parted with great civilities. + +I will now turn my thoughts to Florence, and to the affairs there that +have lain upon me, from the death of my good friend Mr. Jervois, and from +my wardship. I told you in their course, the steps I took in those +affairs; and how happy I had been in some parts of management. There I +hope soon to see you, my dear Dr. Bartlett, from the Levant, to whose +care I can so safely consign my precious trust, while I go to Paris, and +attend the wished-for call of my father to my native country, from which +I have been for so many years an exile. + +There also, I hope to have some opportunities of conversing with my good +Mrs. Beaumont; resolving to make another effort to get so valuable a +person to restore herself to my beloved England. + +Thus, my dear Dr. Bartlett, do I endeavour to console myself, in order to +lighten that load of grief which I labour under on the distresses of the +dear Clementina. If I can leave her happy, I shall be sooner so, than I +could have been in the same circumstances, had I, from the first of my +acquaintance with the family, (to the breach of all the laws of +hospitality,) indulged a passion for her. + +Yet is the unhappy Olivia a damp upon my endeavours after consolation. +When she made her unseasonable visit to me at Bologna, she refused to +return to Florence without me, till I assured her, that as my affairs +would soon call me thither, I would visit her at her own palace, as often +as those affairs would permit. Her pretence for coming to Bologna was, +to induce me to place Emily with her, till I had settled every thing for +my carrying the child to England; but I was obliged to be peremptory in +my denial, though she had wrought so with Emily, as to induce her to be +an earnest petitioner to me, to permit her to live with Lady Olivia, +whose equipages, and the glare in which she lives, had dazzled the eyes +of the young lady. + + +*** + + +I was impatient to hear again from Jeronymo; and just as I was setting +out for Florence, in despair of that favour, it being the second day +after my farewell visit, I had the following letter from him: + + +I have not been well, my dear Grandison. I am afraid the wound in my +shoulder must be laid open again. God give me patience! But my life is +a burden to me. + +We are driving here at a strange rate. They promised to keep measures +with the dear creature; but she has heard that you are leaving Bologna, +and raves to see you. + +Poor soul! She endeavoured to prevail upon her father, mother, aunt, to +permit her to see you, but for five minutes: that was the petition which +was denied her, as I mentioned in my last. + +Camilla was afraid that she would go into a gloomy fit upon it, as I told +you--She did; but it lasted not long: for she made an effort, soon after, +to go out of the house by way of the garden. The gardener refused his +key, and brought Camilla to her, whom she had, by an innocent piece of +art, but just before, sent to bring her something from her toilette. + +The general went with Camilla to her. They found her just setting a +ladder against the wall. She heard them, and screamed, and, leaving the +ladder, ran, to avoid them, till she came in sight of the great cascade; +into which, had she not by a cross alley been intercepted by the general, +it is feared she would have thrown herself. + +This has terrified us all: she begs but for one interview; one parting +interview; and she promises to make herself easy: but it is not thought +advisable. Yet Father Marescotti himself thought it best to indulge her. +Had my mother been earnest, I believe it had been granted: but she is so +much concerned at the blame she met with on permitting the last +interview, that she will not contend, though she has let them know, that +she did not oppose the request. + +The unhappy girl ran into my chamber this morning --Jeronymo; he will be +gone! said she: I know he will. All I want, is but to see him! To wish +him happy! And to know, if he will remember me when he is gone, as I +shall him!--Have you no interest, Jeronymo? Cannot I once see him? Not +once? + +The bishop, before I could answer, came in quest of her, followed by +Laurana, from whom she had forcibly disengaged herself, to come to me. + +Let me have but one parting interview, my lord, said she, looking to him, +and clinging about my neck. He will be gone: gone for ever. Is there so +much in being allowed to say, Farewell, and be happy, Grandison! and +excuse all the trouble I have given you?--What has my brother's preserver +done, what have I done, that I must not see him, nor he me, for one +quarter of an hour only? + +Indeed, my lord, said I, she should be complied with. Indeed she should. + +My father thinks otherwise, said the bishop: the count thinks otherwise: +I think otherwise. Were the chevalier a common man, she might. But she +dwells upon what passed in the last interview, and his behaviour to her. +That, it is plain, did her harm. + +The next may drive the thoughts of that out of her head, returned I. + +Dear Jeronymo, replied he, a little peevishly, you will always think +differently from every body else! Mrs. Beaumont comes to-morrow. + +What do I care for Mrs. Beaumont? said she.--I don't love her: she tells +every thing I say. + +Come, my dear love, said Laurana, you afflict your brother Jeronymo. Let +us go up to your own chamber. + +I afflict every body, and every body afflicts me; and you are all cruel. +Why, he will be gone, I tell you! That makes me so impatient: and I have +something to say to him. My father won't see me: my mother renounces me. +I have been looking for her, and she hides herself from me!--And I am a +prisoner, and watched, and used ill! + +Here comes my mother! said Laurana. You now must go up to your chamber, +cousin Clementina. + +So she does, said she; now I must go, indeed!--Ah, Jeronymo! Now there +is no saying nay.--But it is hard! very hard!--And she burst into tears. +I won't speak though, said she, to my aunt. Remember, I will be silent, +madam!--Then whispering me, My aunt, brother, is not the aunt she used to +be to me!--But hush, I don't complain, you know! + +By this I saw that Lady Sforza was severe with her. + +She addressed herself to her aunt: You are not my mamma, are you, madam? + +No, child. + +No, child, indeed! I know that too well. But my brother Giacomo is as +cruel to me as any body. But hush, Jeronymo!--Don't you betray me!--Now +my aunt is come, I must go!--I wish I could run away from you all! + +She was yesterday detected writing a letter to you. My mother was shewn +what she had written, and wept over it. My aunt took it out of my +sister's bosom, where she had thrust it, on her coming in. This she +resented highly. + +When she was led into her own chamber, she refused to speak; but in great +hurry went to her closet, and, taking down her bible, turned over one +leaf and another very quick. Lady Sforza had a book in her hand, and sat +over-against the closet-door to observe her motions. She came to a +place--Pretty! said she. + +The bishop had formerly given her a smattering of Latin--She took pen and +ink, and wrote. You'll see, chevalier, the very great purity of her +thoughts, by what she omitted, and what she chose, from the Canticles. +Velut unguentum diffunditur nomen tuum &c. + +[In the English translation, thus: Thy name is as ointment poured forth; +therefore do the virgins love thee. Draw me; we will run after thee: the +upright love thee. + +Look not upon me because I am black, because the sun hath looked upon me. +My mother's children were angry with me: they made me the keeper of the +vineyards, but mine own vineyard have I not kept. + +Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth! where thou feedest, where thou +makest thy flock to rest at noon: for why should I be as one that turneth +aside by the flocks of thy companions?] + +She laid down her pen, and was thoughtful; her elbow resting on the +escritoire she wrote upon, her hand supporting her head. + +May I look over you, my dear? said her aunt, stepping to her; and, taking +up the paper, read it, and took it out of the closet with her, unopposed; +her gentle bosom only heaving sighs. + +I will write no more, so minutely, on this affecting subject, my +Grandison. + +They are all of opinion that she will be easy, when she knows that you +have actually left Bologna; and they strengthen their opinion by these +words of hers, above-recited; 'Why he will be gone, I tell you; and this +makes me so impatient.'--At least, they are resolved to try the +experiment. And so, my dear Grandison, you must be permitted to leave +us! + +God be your director and comforter, as well as ours! prays + +Your ever affectionate +JERONYMO. + + +*** + + +Mr. Grandison, having no hopes of being allowed to see the unhappy lady, +set out with a heavy heart for Florence. He gave orders there, and at +Leghorn, that the clerks and agents of his late friend Mr. Jervois should +prepare every thing for his inspection against his return from Naples; +and then he set out for that city, to attend the general. + +He had other friends to whom he had endeared himself at Sienna, Ancona, +and particularly at Rome, as he had also some at Naples; of whom he +intended to take leave, before he set out for Paris: and therefore went +to attend the general with the greater pleasure. + +Within the appointed time he arrived at Naples. + +The general received me, said Mr. Grandison, with greater tokens of +politeness than affection. You are the happiest man in the world, +chevalier, said he, after the first compliments, in escaping dangers by +braving them. I do assure you, that I had great difficulties to deny +myself the favour of paying you a visit in my own way at Bologna. I had +indeed resolved to do it, till you proposed this visit to me here. + +I should have been very sorry, replied I, to have seen a brother of Lady +Clementina in any way that should not have made me consider him as her +brother. But, before I say another word, let me ask after her health. +How does the most excellent of women? + +You have not heard, then? + +I have not, my lord: but it is not for want of solicitude: I have sent +three several messengers: but can hear nothing to my satisfaction. + +Nor can you hear any thing from me that will give you any. + +I am grieved at my soul, that I cannot. How, my lord, do the marquis and +marchioness? + +Don't ask. They are extremely unhappy. + +I hear that my dear friend, Signor Jeronymo, has undergone-- + +A dreadful operation, interrupted the general.--He has. Poor Jeronymo! +He could not write to you. God preserve my brother! But, chevalier, you +did not save half a life, though we thank you for that, when you restored +him to our arms. + +I had no reason to boast, my lord, of the accident. I never made a merit +of it. It was a mere accident, and cost me nothing. The service was +greatly over-rated. + +Would to God, chevalier, it had been rendered by any other man in the +world! + +As it has proved, I am sure, my lord, I have reason to join in the wish. + +He shewed me his pictures, statues, and cabinet of curiosities, while +dinner was preparing; but rather for the ostentation of his magnificence +and taste, than to do me pleasure. I even observed an increasing +coldness in his behaviour; and his eye was too often cast upon me with a +fierceness that shewed resentment; and not with the hospitable frankness +that became him to a visitor and guest, who had undertaken a journey of +above two hundred miles, principally to attend him, and to shew him the +confidence he had in his honour. This, as it was more to his dishonour +than mine, I pitied him for. But what most of all disturbed me, was, +that I could not obtain from him any particular intelligence relating to +the health of one person, whose distresses lay heavy upon my heart. + +There were several persons of distinction at dinner; the discourse could +therefore be only general. He paid me great respect at his table, but it +was a solemn one. I was the more uneasy at it, as I apprehended, that +the situation of the Bologna family was more unhappy than when I left +that city. + +He retired with me into his garden. You stay with me at least the week +out, chevalier? + +No, my lord: I have affairs of a deceased friend at Florence and at +Leghorn to settle. To-morrow, as early as I can, I shall set out for +Rome, in my way to Tuscany. + +I am surprised, chevalier. You take something amiss in my behaviour. + +I cannot say that your lordship's countenance (I am a very free speaker) +has that benignity in it, that complacency, which I have had the pleasure +to see in it. + +By G--! chevalier, I could have loved you better than any man in the +world, next to the men of my own family; but I own I see you not here +with so much love as admiration. + +The word admiration, my lord, may require explanation. You may admire at +my confidence: but I thank you for the manly freedom of your +acknowledgment in general. + +By admiration I mean, all that may do you honour. Your bravery in coming +hither, particularly; and your greatness of mind on your taking leave of +us all. But did you not then mean to insult me? + +I meant to observe to you then, as I now do in your own palace, that you +had not treated me as my heart told me I deserved to be treated: but when +I thought your warmth was rising to the uneasiness of your assembled +friends, instead of answering your question about my stay at Bologna, as +you seemed to mean it, I invited myself to an attendance upon you here, +at Naples, in such a manner as surely could not be construed as insult. + +I own, Grandison, you disconcerted me. I had intended to save you that +journey. + +Was that your lordship's meaning, when, in my absence, you called at my +lodgings, the day after the farewell-visit? + +Not absolutely: I was uneasy with myself. I intended to talk to you. +What that talk might have produced, I know not: but had I invited you +out, if I had found you at home, would you have answered my demands? + +According as you had put them. + +Will you answer them now, if I attend you as far as Rome, on your return +to Florence? + +If they are demands fit to be answered. + +Do you expect I will make any that are not fit to be answered? + +My lord, I will explain myself. You had conceived causeless prejudices +against me: you seemed inclined to impute to me a misfortune that was +not, could not be, greater to you than it was to me. I knew my own +innocence: I knew that I was rather an injured man, in having hopes given +me, in which I was disappointed, not by my own fault: whom shall an +innocent and an injured man fear?--Had I feared, my fear might have been +my destruction. For was I not in the midst of your friends? A +foreigner? If I would have avoided you, could I, had you been determined +to seek me?--I would choose to meet even an enemy as a man of honour, +rather than to avoid him as a malefactor. In my country, the law +supposes flight a confession of guilt. Had you made demands upon me that +I had not chosen to answer, I would have expostulated with you. I could +perhaps have done so as calmly as I now speak. If you would not have +been expostulated with, I would have stood upon my defence: but for the +world I would not have hurt a brother of Clementina and Jeronymo, a son +of the marquis and marchioness of Porretta, could I have avoided it. Had +your passion given me any advantage over you, and I had obtained your +sword, (a pistol, had the choice been left to me, I had refused for both +our sakes,) I would have presented both swords to you, and bared my +breast: It was before penetrated by the distresses of the dear +Clementina, and of all your family--Perhaps I should only have said, 'If +your lordship thinks I have injured you, take your revenge.' + +And now, that I am at Naples, let me say, that if you are determined, +contrary to all my hopes, to accompany me to Rome, or elsewhere, on my +return, with an unfriendly purpose; such, and no other, shall be my +behaviour to you, if the power be given me to shew it. I will rely on my +own innocence, and hope by generosity to overcome a generous man. Let +the guilty secure themselves by violence and murder. + +Superlative pride! angrily said he, and stood still, measuring me with +his eye: And could you hope for such an advantage? + +While I, my lord, was calm, and determined only upon self-defence; while +you were passionate, and perhaps rash, as aggressors generally are; I did +not doubt it: but could I have avoided drawing, and preserved your good +opinion, I would not have drawn. Your lordship cannot but know my +principles. + +Grandison, I do know them; and also the general report in your favour for +skill and courage. Do you think I would have heard with patience of the +once proposed alliance, had not your character--And then he was pleased +to say many things in my favour, from the report of persons who had +weight with him; some of whom he named. + +But still, Grandison, said he, this poor girl!--She could not have been +so deeply affected, had not some lover-like arts-- + +Let me, my lord, interrupt you--I cannot bear an imputation of this kind. +Had such arts been used, the lady could not have been so much affected. +Cannot you think of your noble sister, as a daughter of the two houses +from which you sprang? Cannot you see her, as by Mrs. Beaumont's means +we now so lately have been able to see her, struggling nobly with her own +heart, [Why am I put upon this tender subject?] because of her duty and +her religion; and resolved to die rather than encourage a wish that was +not warranted by both?--I cannot, my lord, urge this subject: but there +never was a passion so nobly contended with. There never was a man more +disinterested, and so circumstanced. Remember only, my voluntary +departure from Bologna, against persuasion; and the great behaviour of +your sister on that occasion; great, as it came out to be, when Mrs. +Beaumont brought her to acknowledge what would have been my glory to have +known, could it have been encouraged; but is now made my heaviest +concern. + +Indeed, Grandison, she ever was a noble girl! We are too apt perhaps to +govern ourselves by events, without looking into causes: but the access +you had to her; such a man! and who became known to us from circumstances +so much in his favour, both as a man of principle and bravery-- + +This, my lord, interrupted I, is still judging from events. You have +seen Mrs. Beaumont's letter. Surely you cannot have a nobler monument of +magnanimity in woman! And to that I refer, for a proof of my own +integrity. + +I have that letter: Jeronymo gave it me, at my taking leave of him; and +with these words: 'Grandison will certainly visit you at Naples. I am +afraid of your warmth. His spirit is well known. All my dependance is +upon his principles. He will not draw but in his own defence. Cherish +the noble visitor. Surely, brother, I may depend upon your hospitable +temper. Read over again this letter, before you see him.'--I have not +yet read it, proceeded the general; but I will, and that, if you will +allow me, now. + +He took it out of his pocket, walked from me, and read it; and then came +to me, and took my hand--I am half ashamed of myself, my dear Grandison: +I own I wanted magnanimity. All the distresses of our family, on this +unhappy girl's account, were before my eyes, and I received you, I +behaved to you, as the author of them. I was contriving to be +dissatisfied with you: Forgive me, and command my best services. I will +let our Jeronymo know how greatly you subdued me before I had recourse to +the letter; but that I have since read that part of it which accounts for +my sister's passion, and wish I had read it with equal attention before. +I acquit you: I am proud of my sister. Yet I observe from this very +letter, that Jeronymo's gratitude has contributed to the evil we deplore. +But--Let us not say one word more of the unhappy girl: It is painful to +me to talk of her. + +Not ask a question, my lord?-- + +Don't, Grandison, don't!--Jeronymo and Clementina are my soul's woe--But +they are not worse than might be apprehended. You go to court with me +to-morrow: I will present you to the king. + +I have had that honour formerly. I must depart to-morrow morning early. +I have already taken leave of several of my friends here: I have some to +make my compliments to at Rome, which I reserved for my return. + +You stay with me to-night?--I intend it, my lord. + +Well, we will return to company. I must make my excuses to my friends. +Your departure to-morrow must be one. They all admire you. They are +acquainted with your character. They will join with me to engage you, if +possible, to stay longer.--We returned to the company. + + + +LETTER IV + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY + + +Receive now, my dear, the doctor's thirteenth letter, and the last he +intends to favour us with, till he entertains us with the histories of +Mrs. Beaumont, and Lady Olivia. + + +*** + + +DR. BARTLETT'S THIRTEENTH LETTER + +Mr. Grandison set out next morning. The general's behaviour to him at +his departure, was much more open and free than it was at receiving him. + +Mr. Grandison, on his return to Florence, entered into the affairs of his +late friend Mr. Jervois, with the spirit, and yet with the temper, for +which he is noted, when he engages in any business. He put every thing +in a happy train in fewer days than it would have cost some other persons +months; for he was present himself on every occasion, and in every +business, where his presence would accelerate it; yet he had +embarrassments from Olivia. + +He found, before he set out for Naples, that Mrs. Beaumont, at the +earnest request of the marchioness, was gone to Bologna. At his return, +not hearing any thing from Signor Jeronymo, he wrote to Mrs. Beaumont, +requesting her to inform him of the state of things in that family, as +far as she thought proper; and, particularly, of the health of that dear +friend, on whose silence to three letters he had written, he had the most +melancholy apprehensions. He let that lady know, that he should set out +in a very few days for Paris, if he had no probability of being of +service to the family she favoured with her company. + +To this letter Mrs. Beaumont returned the following answer: + + +SIR, + +I have the favour of yours. We are very miserable here. The servants +are forbidden to answer any inquiries, but generally; and that not truly. + +Your friend, Signor Jeronymo, has gone through a severe operation. He +has been given over; but hopes are now entertained, not of his absolute +recovery, but that he will be no worse than he was before the necessity +for the operation arose. Poor man! He forgot not, however, his sister +and you, when he was out of the power of the opiates that were +administered to him. + +On my coming hither, I found Lady Clementina in a deplorable way: +Sometimes raving, sometimes gloomy; and in bonds--Twice had she given +them apprehensions of fatal attempts: they, therefore, confined her +hands. + +They have been excessively wrong in their management of her: now +soothing, now severe; observing no method. + +She was extremely earnest to see you before you left Bologna. On her +knees repeatedly she besought this favour, and promised to be easy if +they would comply; but they imagined that their compliance would +aggravate the symptoms. + +I very freely blamed them for not complying, at the time when she was so +desirous of seeing you. I told them, that soothing her would probably +then have done good. + +When they knew you were actually gone from Bologna, they told her so. +Camilla shocked me with the description of her rage and despair, on the +communication. This was followed by fits of silence, and the deepest +melancholy. + +They had hopes, on my arrival, that my company would have been of service +to her: but for two days together she regarded me not, nor any thing I +could say to her. On the third of my arrival, finding her confinement +extremely uneasy to her, I prevailed, but with great difficulty, to have +her restored to the use of her hands; and to be allowed to walk with me +in the garden. They had hinted to me their apprehensions about a piece +of water. + +Her woman being near us, if there had been occasion for assistance, I +insensibly led that way. She sat down on a seat over-against the great +cascade; but she made no motion that gave me apprehensions. From this +time she has been fonder of me than before. The day I obtained this +liberty for her, she often clasped her arms about me, and laid her face +in my bosom; and I could plainly see, it was in gratitude for restoring +to her the use of her arms: but she cared not to speak. + +Indeed she generally affects deep silence: yet, at times, I see her very +soul is fretted. She moves to one place, is tired of that, shifts to +another, and another, all round the room. + +I am grieved at my heart for her: I never knew a more excellent young +creature. + +She is very attentive at her devotions, and as constant in them as she +used to be: Every good habit she preserves; yet, at other times, rambles +much. + +She is often for writing letters to you; but when what she writes is +privately taken from her, she makes no inquiry about it, but takes a new +sheet, and begins again. + +Sometimes she draws; but her subjects are generally angels and saints. +She often meditates in a map of the British dominions, and now and then +wishes she were in England. + +Lady Juliana de Sforza is earnest to have her with her at Urbino, or at +Milan, where she has also a noble palace; but I hope it will not be +granted. That lady professes to love her; but she cannot be persuaded +out of her notion of harsh methods, which will never do with Clementina. + +I shall not be able to stay long with her. The discomposure of so +excellent a young creature affects me deeply. Could I do her either good +or pleasure, I should be willing to deny myself the society of my dear +friends at Florence: but I am persuaded, and have hinted as much, that +one interview with you would do more to settle her mind, than all the +methods they have taken. + +I hope, sir, to see you before you leave Italy. It must be at Florence, +not at Bologna, I believe. It is generous of you to propose the latter. + +I have now been here a week, without hope. The doctors they have +consulted are all for severe methods, and low diet. The first, I think, +is in compliment to some of the family. She is so loath to take +nourishment, and when she does, is so very abstemious, that the regimen +is hardly necessary. She never, or but very seldom, used to drink any +thing but water. + +She took it into her poor head several times this day, and perhaps it +will hold, to sit in particular places, to put on attentive looks, as if +she were listening to somebody. She sometimes smiled, and seemed +pleased; looked up, as if to somebody, and spoke English. I have no +doubt, though I was not present when she assumed these airs, and talked +English, but her disordered imagination brought before her her tutor +instructing her in that tongue. + +You desired me, sir, to be very particular. I have been so; but at the +expense of my eyes: and I shall not wonder if your humane heart should be +affected by my sad tale. + +God preserve you, and prosper you in whatsoever you undertake! + +HORTENSIA BEAUMONT + + +Mrs. Beaumont staid at Bologna twelve days, and then left the unhappy +young lady. + +At taking leave, she asked her, what commands she had for her?--Love me, +said she, and pity me; that is one. Another is, (whispering her,) you +will see the chevalier, perhaps, though I must not.--Tell him, that his +poor friend Clementina is sometimes very unhappy!--Tell him, that she +shall rejoice to sit next him in heaven!--Tell him, that I say he cannot +go thither, good man as he is, while he shuts his eyes to the truth.-- +Tell him, that I shall take it very kindly of him, if he will not think +of marrying till he acquaints me with it; and can give me assurance, that +the lady will love him as well as somebody else would have done.--O Mrs. +Beaumont! should the Chevalier Grandison marry a woman unworthy of him, +what a disgrace would that be to me! + +Mr. Grandison by this time had prepared everything for his journey to +Paris. The friend he honoured with his love, was arrived from the +Levant, and the Archipelago. Thither, at his patron's request, he had +accompanied Mr. Beauchamp, the amiable friend of both; and at parting, +engaged to continue by letter what had been the subject of their daily +conversations, and transmit to him as many particulars as he could obtain +of Mr. Grandison's sentiments and behaviour, on every occasion; Mr. +Beauchamp proposing him as a pattern to himself, that he might be worthy +of the credential letters he had furnished him with to every one whom he +had thought deserving of his own acquaintance, when he was in the parts +which Mr. Beauchamp intended to visit. + +To the care of the person so much honoured by his confidence, Mr. +Grandison left his agreeable ward, Miss Jervois; requesting the +assistance of Mrs. Beaumont, who kindly promised her inspection; and with +the goodness for which she is so eminently noted, performed her promise +in his absence. + +He then made an offer to the bishop to visit Bologna once more; but that +not being accepted, he set out for Paris. + +It was not long before his Father's death called him to England; and when +he had been there a few weeks, he sent for his ward and his friend. + +But, my good Miss Byron, you will say, That I have not yet fully answered +your last inquiry, relating to the present situation of the unhappy +Clementina. + +I will briefly inform you of it. + +When it was known, for certain, that Mr. Grandison had actually left +Italy, the family at Bologna began to wish that they had permitted the +interview so much desired by the poor lady: and when they afterwards +understood that he was sent for to England, to take possession of his +paternal estate, that farther distance, (the notion likewise of the seas +between them appearing formidable,) added to their regrets. + +The poor lady was kept in travelling motion to quiet her mind: for still +an interview with Mr. Grandison having never been granted, it was her +first wish. + +They carried her to Urbino, to Rome, to Naples; then back to Florence, +then to Milan, to Turin. + +Whether they made her hope that it was to meet with Mr. Grandison, I know +not; but it is certain, she herself expected to see him at the end of +every journey; and, while she was moving, was easier, and more composed; +perhaps in that hope. + +The marchioness was sometimes of the party. The air and exercise were +thought proper for her health, as well as for that of her daughter. Her +cousin Laurana was always with her in these excursions, and sometimes +Lady Sforza; and their escort was, generally, Signors Sebastiano and +Juliano. + +But, within these four months past, these journeyings have been +discontinued. The young lady accuses them of deluding her with vain +hopes. She is impatient, and has made two attempts to escape from them. + +She is, for this reason, closely confined and watched. + +They put her once into a nunnery, at the motion of Lady Sforza, as for a +trial only. She was not uneasy in it: but this being done unknown to the +general, when he was apprised of it, he, for reasons I cannot comprehend, +was displeased, and had her taken out directly. + +Her head runs more than ever upon seeing her tutor, her friend, her +chevalier, once more. They have certainly been to blame, if they have +let her travel with such hopes; because they have thereby kept up her +ardour for an interview. Could she but once more see him, she says, and +let him know the cruelty she has been treated with, she should be +satisfied. He would pity her, she is sure, though nobody else will. + +The bishop has written to beg, that Sir Charles would pay them one more +visit at Bologna. + +I will refer to my patron himself the communicating to you, ladies, his +resolution on this subject. I had but a moment's sight of the letters +which so greatly affected him. + +It is but within these few days past that this new request has been made +to him, in a direct manner. The question was before put, If such a +request should be made, would he comply? And once Camilla wrote, as +having heard Sir Charles's presence wished for. + +Mean time the poor lady is hastening, they are afraid, into a consumptive +malady. The Count of Belvedere, however, still adores her. The disorder +in her mind being imputed chiefly to religious melancholy, and some of +her particular flights not being generally known, he, who is a pious man +himself, pities her; and declares, that he would run all risks of her +recovery, would the family give her to him: and yet he knows, that she +would choose to be the wife of the Chevalier Grandison, rather than that +of any other man, were the article of religion to be got over; and +generously applauds her for preferring her faith to her love. + +Signor Jeronymo is in a very bad way. Sir Charles often writes to him, +and with an affection worthy of the merits of that dear friend. He was +to undergo another severe operation on the next day after the letters +came from Bologna; the success of which was very doubtful. + +How nobly does Sir Charles appear to support himself under such heavy +distresses! For those of his friends were ever his. But his heart +bleeds in secret for them. A feeling heart is a blessing that no one, +who has it, would be without; and it is a moral security of innocence; +since the heart that is able to partake of the distress of another, +cannot wilfully give it. + +I think, my good Miss Byron, that I have now, as far as I am at present +able, obeyed all your commands that concern the unhappy Clementina, and +her family. I will defer, if you please, those which relate to Olivia +and Mrs. Beaumont, ladies of very different characters from each other, +having several letters to write. + +Permit me, my good ladies, and my lord, after contributing so much to +afflict your worthy hearts, to refer you, for relief under all the +distresses of life, whether they affect ourselves or others, to those +motives that can alone give true support to a rational mind. This mortal +scene, however perplexing, is a very short one; and the hour is hastening +when all the intricacies of human affairs shall be cleared up; and all +the sorrows that have had their foundation in virtue be changed into the +highest joy: when all worthy minds shall be united in the same interests, +the same happiness. + +Allow me to be, my good Miss Byron, and you, my Lord and Lady L----, and +Miss Grandison, + +Your most faithful and obedient servant, +AMBROSE BARTLETT. + + +Excellent Dr. Bartlett!--How worthy of himself is this advice! But think +you not, my Lucy, that the doctor has in it a particular view to your +poor Harriet? A generous one, meaning consolation and instruction to +her? I will endeavour to profit by it. Let me have your prayers, my +dear friends, that I may be enabled to succeed in my humble endeavours. + +It will be no wonder to us now, that Sir Charles was not solicitous to +make known a situation so embarrassing to himself, and so much involved +in clouds and uncertainty: but whatever may be the event of this affair, +you, Lucy, and all my friends, will hardly ever know me by any other name +than that of + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER V + +MISS HARRIET BYRON, TO MISS LUCY SELBY +FRIDAY, MARCH 31. + + + +You now, my dear friends, have before you this affecting story, as far as +Dr. Bartlett can give it. My cousins express a good deal of concern for +your Harriet: so does Miss Grandison: so doth my Lord and Lady L----: and +the more, as I seem to carry off the matter with assumed bravery. This +their kind concern for me looks, however, as if they thought me a +hypocrite; and I suppose, therefore, that I act my part very awkwardly. + +But, my dear, as this case is one of those few in which a woman can shew +a bravery of spirit, I think an endeavour after it is laudable; and the +rather, as in my conduct I aim at giving a tacit example to Miss Jervois. + +The doctor has whisper'd to me, that Lady Olivia is actually on her way +to England; and that the intelligence Sir Charles received of her +intention, was one of the things that disturbed him, as the news of his +beloved Signor Jeronymo's dangerous condition was another. + +Lady Anne S----, it seems, has not yet given up her hopes of Sir Charles. +The two sisters, who once favoured her above all the women they knew, +have not been able to bring themselves to acquaint a lady of her rank, +merit, and fortune, that there can be no hopes; and they are still more +loath to say, that their brother thinks himself under some obligation to +a foreign lady. Yet you know that this was always what we were afraid +of: but, who, now, will say afraid, that knows the merit of Clementina? + +I wish, methinks, that this man were proud, vain, arrogant, and a +boaster. How easily then might one throw off one's shackles! + +Lord G---- is very diligent in his court to Miss Grandison. His father +and aunt are to visit her this afternoon. She behaves whimsically to my +lord: yet I cannot think that she greatly dislikes him. + +The Earl of D---- and the Countess Dowager are both in town. The +Countess made a visit to my cousin Reeves last Tuesday: she spoke of me +very kindly: she says that my lord has heard so much of me, that he is +very desirous of seeing me: but she was pleased to say, that, since my +heart was not disengaged, she should be afraid of the consequences of his +visit to himself. + +My grandmamma, though she was so kindly fond of me, would not suffer me +to live with her; because she thought, that her contemplative temper +might influence mine, and make me grave, at a time of life, when she is +always saying, that cheerfulness is most becoming: she would therefore +turn over her girl to the best of aunts. But now I fancy, she will allow +me to be more than two days in a week her attendant. My uncle Selby will +be glad to spare me. I shall not be able to bear a jest: and then, what +shall I be good for? + +I have made a fine hand of coming to town, he says: and so I have: but if +my heart is not quite so easy as it was, it is, I hope, a better, at +least not a worse heart than I brought up with me. Could I only have +admired this man, my excursion would not have been unhappy. But this +gratitude, this entangling, with all its painful consequence--But let me +say, with my grandmamma, the man is Sir Charles Grandison! The very man +by whose virtues a Clementina was attracted. Upon my word, my dear, +unhappy as she is, I rank her with the first of women. + +I have not had a great deal of Sir Charles Grandison's company; but yet +more, I am afraid, than I shall ever have again. Very true--O heart! the +most wayward of hearts, sigh if thou wilt! + +You have seen how little he was with us, when we were absolutely in his +reach, and when he, as we thought, was in ours. But such a man cannot, +ought not to be engrossed by one family. Bless me, Lucy, when he comes +into public life, (for has not his country a superior claim to him beyond +every private one?) what moment can he have at liberty? Let me enumerate +some of his present engagements that we know of. + +The Danby family must have some farther portion of his time. + +The executorship in the disposal of the 3000L. in charity, in France as +well as in England, will take up a good deal more. + +My Lord W---- may be said to be under his tutelage, as to the future +happiness of his life. + +Miss Jervois's affairs, and the care he has for her person, engage much +of his attention. + +He is his own steward. + +He is making alterations at Grandison-hall; and has a large genteel +neighbourhood there, who long to have him reside among them; and he +himself is fond of that seat. + +His estate in Ireland is in a prosperous way, from the works he set on +foot there, when he was on the spot; and he talks, as Dr. Bartlett has +hinted to us, of making another visit to it. + +His sister's match with Lord G---- is one of his cares. + +He has services to perform for his friend Beauchamp, with his father and +mother-in-law, for the facilitating his coming over. + +The apprehended visit of Olivia gives him disturbance. + +And the Bologna family in its various branches, and more especially +Signor Jeronymo's dangerous state of health, and Signora Clementina's +disordered mind--O, Lucy!--What leisure has this man to be in love?--Yet +how can I say so, when he is in love already? And with Clementina.--And +don't you think, that when he goes to France on the executorship account, +he will make a visit to Bologna?--Ah, my dear, to be sure he will. + +After he has left England, therefore, which I suppose he will quickly do, +and when I am in Northamptonshire, what opportunities will your Harriet +have to see him, except she can obtain, as a favour, the power of +obliging his Emily, in her request to be with her? Then, Lucy, he may, +on his return to England, once a year or so, on his visiting his ward, +see, and thank for her care and love of his Emily, his half-estranged +Harriet!--Perhaps Lady Clementina Grandison will be with him! God +restore her! Surely I shall be capable, if she be Lady Grandison, of +rejoicing in her recovery!---- + +Fie upon it!--Why this involuntary tear? You would see it by the large +blot it has made, if I did not mention it. + +Excellent man!--Dr. Bartlett has just been telling me of a morning visit +he received, before he went out of town, from the two sons of Mrs. +Oldham. + +One of them is about seven years old; the other about five; very fine +children. He embraced them, the doctor says, with as much tenderness, as +if they were children of his own mother. He enquired into their +inclinations, behaviour, diversions; and engaged equally their love and +reverence. + +He told them, that, if they were good, he would love them; and said, he +had a dear friend, whom he reverenced as his father, a man with white +curling locks, he told the children, that they might know him at first +sight, who would now-and-then, as he happened to be in town, make +enquiries after their good behaviour, and reward them, as they gave him +cause. Accordingly he had desired Dr. Bartlett to give them occasionally +his countenance; as also to let their mother know, that he should be glad +of a visit from her, and her three children, on his return to town. + +The doctor had been to see her when he came to me. He found all three +with her. The two younger, impressed by the venerable description Sir +Charles had given of him, voluntarily, the younger, by the elder's +example, fell down on their knees before him, and begged his blessing. + +Mr. Oldham is about eighteen years of age; a well-inclined, well-educated +youth. He was full of acknowledgments of the favour done him in this +invitation. + +The grateful mother could not contain herself. Blessings without number, +she invoked on her benefactor, for his goodness in taking such kind +notice of her two sons, as he had done; and said, he had been, ever since +his gracious behaviour to her in Essex, the first and last in her prayers +to Heaven. But the invitation to herself, she declared, was too great an +honour for her to accept of: she should not be able to stand in his +presence. Alas! sir, said she, can the severest, truest penitence recall +the guilty past? + +The doctor said, that Sir Charles Grandison ever made it a rule with him, +to raise the dejected and humbled spirit. Your birth and education, +madam, entitle you to a place in the first company: and where there are +two lights in which the behaviour of any person may be set, though there +has been unhappiness, he always remembers the most favourable, and +forgets the other. I would advise you, madam, (as he has invited you,) +by all means to come. He speaks with pleasure of your humility and good +sense. + +The doctor told me, that Sir Charles had made inquiries after the +marriage of Major O'Hara with Mrs. Jervois, and had satisfied himself +that they were actually man and wife. Methinks I am glad for Miss +Jervois's sake, that her mother has changed her name. They lived not +happily together since their last enterprise: for the man, who had long +been a sufferer from poverty, was in fear of losing one half at least of +his wife's annuity, by what passed on that occasion; and accused her of +putting him upon the misbehaviour he was guilty of; which had brought +upon him, he said, the resentments of a man admired by all the world. + +The attorney, who visited Sir Charles from these people, at their +request, waited on him again, in their names, with hopes that they should +not suffer in their annuity, and expressing their concern for having +offended him. + +Mrs. O'Hara also requested it as a favour to see her daughter. + +Sir Charles commissioned the attorney, who is a man of repute, to tell +them, that if Mrs. O'Hara would come to St. James's-square next Wednesday +about five o'clock, Miss Jervois should be introduced to her; and she +should be welcome to bring with her her husband, and Captain Salmonet, +that they might be convinced he bore no ill-will to either of them. + +Adieu, till by and by. Miss Grandison is come, in one of her usual +hurries, to oblige me to be present at the visit to be made her this +afternoon, by the Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude, his sister, a maiden +lady advanced in years, who is exceedingly fond of her nephew, and +intends to make him heir of her large fortune. + + +*** + + +FRIDAY NIGHT. + +The earl is an agreeable man: Lady Gertrude is a very agreeable woman. +They saw Miss Grandison with the young lord's eyes; and were better +pleased with her, as I told her afterwards, than I should have been, or +than they would, had they known her as well as I do. She doubted not, +she answered me, but I should find fault with her; and yet she was as +good as for her life she could be. + +Such an archness in every motion! Such a turn of the eye to me on my +Lord G----'s assiduities! Such a fear in him of her correcting glance! +Such a half-timid, half-free parade when he had done any thing that he +intended to be obliging, and now and then an aiming at raillery, as if he +was not very much afraid of her, and dared to speak his mind even to her! +On her part, on those occasions, such an air, as if she had a learner +before her; and was ready to rap his knuckles, had nobody been present to +mediate for him; that though I could not but love her for her very +archness, yet in my mind, I could, for their sakes, but more for her own, +have severely chidden her. + +She is a charming woman; and every thing she says and does becomes her. +But I am so much afraid of what may be the case, when the lover is +changed into the husband, that I wish to myself now and then, when I see +her so lively, that she would remember that there was once such a man as +Captain Anderson. But she makes it a rule, she says, to remember nothing +that will vex her. + +Is not my memory (said she once) given me for my benefit, and shall I +make it my torment? No, Harriet, I will leave that to be done by you +wise ones, and see what you will get by it. + +Why this, Charlotte, replied I, the wise ones may have a chance to get by +it--They will, very probably, by remembering past mistakes, avoid many +inconveniencies into which forgetfulness will run you lively ones. + +Well, well, returned she, we are not all of us born to equal honour. +Some of us are to be set up for warnings, some for examples: and the +first are generally of greater use to the world than the other. + +Now, Charlotte, said I, do you destroy the force of your own argument. +Can the person who is singled out for the warning, be near so happy, as +she that is set up for the example? + +You are right as far as I know, Harriet: but I obey the present impulse, +and try to find an excuse afterwards for what that puts me upon: and all +the difference is this, as to the reward, I have a joy: you a comfort: +but comfort is a poor word; and I can't bear it. + +So Biddy, in 'The Tender Husband,' would have said, Charlotte. But poor +as the word is with you and her, give me comfort rather than joy, if they +must be separated. But I see not but that a woman of my Charlotte's +happy turn may have both. + +She tapped my cheek--Take that, Harriet, for making a Biddy of me. I +believe, if you have not joy, you have comfort, in your severity. + +My heart as well as my cheek glowed at the praises the earl and the lady +both joined in (with a fervor that was creditable to their own hearts) of +Sir Charles Grandison, while they told us what this man, and that woman +of quality or consideration said of him. Who would not be good? What is +life without reputation? Do we not wish to be remembered with honour +after death? And what a share of it has this excellent man in his life! +--May nothing, for the honour-sake of human nature, to which he is so +great an ornament, ever happen to tarnish it! + +They made me a hundred fine compliments. I could not but be pleased at +standing well in their opinion: but, believe me, my dear, I did not enjoy +their praises of me, as I did those they gave him. Indeed, I had the +presumption, from the approbation given to what they said of him by my +own heart, to imagine myself a sharer in them, though not in his merits. +Oh, Lucy! ought there not to have been a relation between us, since what +I have said, from what I found in myself on hearing him praised, is a +demonstration of a regard for him superior to the love of self? + +Adieu, my Lucy. I know I have all your prayers. + +Adieu, my dear! + + + +LETTER VI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SATURDAY, APRIL 1. + + +Dr. Bartlett is one of the kindest as well as best of men. I believe he +loves me as if I were his own child: but good men must be affectionate +men. He received but this morning a letter from Sir Charles, and +hastened to communicate some of its contents to me, though I could +pretend to no other motive but curiosity for wishing to be acquainted +with the proceedings of his patron. + +Sir Charles dined, as he had intended, with Sir Hargrave and his friends. +He complains in his letter of a riotous day: yet I think, adds he, it has +led me into some useful reflections. It is not indeed agreeable to be +the spectator of riot; but how easy to shun being a partaker in it! Ho +easy to avoid the too freely circling glass, if a man is known to have +established a rule to himself, from which he will not depart; and if it +be not refused sullenly; but mirth and good humour the more studiously +kept up, by the person; who would else indeed be looked upon as a spy on +unguarded folly! I heartily pitied a young man, who, I dare say, has a +good heart, but from false shame durst not assert the freedom that every +Englishman would claim a right to, in almost every other instance! He +had once put by the glass, and excused himself on account of his health; +but on being laughed at for a sober dog, as they phrased it, and asked, +if his spouse had not lectured him before he came out, he gave way to the +wretched raillery: nor could I interfere at such a noisy moment with +effect: they had laughed him out of his caution before I could be heard; +and I left him there at nine o'clock trying with Bagenhall which should +drink the deepest. + +I wish, my good Dr. Bartlett, you would throw together some serious +considerations on this subject. You could touch it delicately, and such +a discourse would not be unuseful to some few of our neighbours even at +Grandison-hall. What is it, that, in this single article, men sacrifice +to false shame and false glory! Reason, health, fortune, personal +elegance, the peace and order of their families; and all the comfort and +honour of their after-years. How peevish, how wretched, is the decline +of a man worn out with intemperance! In a cool hour, resolutions might +be formed, that should stand the attack of a boisterous jest. + +I obtained leave from Dr. Bartlett, to transcribe this part of the +letter. I thought my uncle would be pleased with it. + + +It was near ten at night, before Sir Charles got to Lord W----'s, though +but three miles from Sir Hargrave's. My lord rejoiced to see him; and, +after first compliments, asked him, if he had thought of what he had +undertaken for him. Sir Charles told him, that he was the more desirous +of seeing him in his way to the Hall, because he wanted to know if his +lordship held his mind as to marriage. He assured him he did, and would +sign and seal to whatever he should stipulate for him. + +I wished for a copy of this part of Sir Charles's letter, for the sake of +my aunt, whose delicacy would, I thought, be charmed with it. He has +been so good as to say, he would transcribe it for me. I will enclose +it, Lucy; and you will read it here: + + +I cannot, my lord, said Sir Charles, engage, that the lady will comply +with the proposal I shall take the liberty to make to her mother and her. +She is not more than three or four and thirty: she is handsome: she has a +fine understanding: she is brought up an economist: she is a woman of +good family: she has not, however, though born to happier prospects, a +fortune worthy of your lordship's acceptance. Whatever that is, you +will, perhaps, choose to give it to her family. + +With all my heart and soul, nephew: but do you say, she is handsome? Do +you say, she is of family? And has she so many good qualities?--Ah, +nephew! She won't have me, I doubt.--And is she not too young, Sir +Charles, to think of such a poor decrepit soul as I am? + +All I can say to this, my lord, is, that the proposals on your part must +be the more generous-- + +I will leave all those matters to you, kinsman-- + +This, my lord, I will take upon me to answer for, that she is a woman of +principle: she will not give your lordship her hand, if she thinks she +cannot make you a wife worthy of your utmost kindness: and now, my lord, +I will tell you who she is, that you may make what other inquiries you +think proper. + +And then I named her to him, and gave him pretty near the account of the +family, and the circumstances and affairs of it, that I shall by and by +give you; though you are not quite a stranger to the unhappy case. + +My lord was in raptures: he knew something, he said, of the lady's +father, and enough of the family, by hearsay, to confirm all I had said +of them; and besought me to do my utmost to bring the affair to a speedy +conclusion. + +Sir Thomas Mansfield was a very good man; and much respected in his +neighbourhood. He was once possessed of a large estate; but his father +left him involved in a law-suit to support his title to more than one +half of it. + +After it had been depending several years, it was at last, to the deep +regret of all who knew him, by the chicanery of the lawyers of the +opposite side, and the remissness of his own, carried against him; and +his expenses having been very great in supporting for years his +possession, he found himself reduced from an estate of near three +thousand pounds a year, to little more than five hundred. He had six +children: four sons, and two daughters. His eldest son died of grief in +two months after the loss of the cause. The second, now the eldest, is a +melancholy man. The third is a cornet of horse. The fourth is +unprovided for; but all three are men of worthy minds, and deserve better +fortune. + +The daughters are remarkable for their piety, patience, good economy, and +prudence. They are the most dutiful of children, and most affectionate +of sisters. They were for three years the support of their father's +spirits, and have always been the consolation of their mother. They lost +their father about four years ago: and it is even edifying to observe, +how elegantly they support the family reputation in their fine old +mansion-house by the prudent management of their little income; for the +mother leaves every household care to them; and they make it a rule to +conclude the year with discharging every demand that can be made upon +them, and to commence the new year absolutely clear of the world, and +with some cash in hand; yet were brought up in affluence, and to the +expectation of handsome fortunes; for, besides that they could have no +thought of losing their cause, they had very great and reasonable +prospects from Mr. Calvert, an uncle by their mother's side; who was rich +in money, and had besides an estate in land of 1500L. a year. He always +declared, that, for the sake of his sister's children, he would continue +a single man; and kept his word till he was upwards of seventy; when, +being very infirm in health, and defective even to dotage in his +understanding, Bolton, his steward, who had always stood in the way of +his inclination to have his eldest niece for his companion and manager, +at last contrived to get him married to a young creature under twenty, +one of the servants in the house; who brought him a child in seven +months; and was with child again at the old man's death, which happened +in eighteen months after his marriage: and then a will was provided, in +which he gave all he had to his wife and her children born, and to be +born, within a year after his demise. This steward and woman now live +together as man and wife. + +A worthy clergyman, who hoped it might be in my power to procure them +redress, either in the one case or in the other, gave me the above +particulars; and upon inquiry, finding every thing to be as represented, +I made myself acquainted with the widow lady and her sons: and it was +impossible to see them at their own house, and not respect the daughters +for their amiable qualities. + +I desired them, when I was last down, to put into my hands their titles, +deeds, and papers; which they have done; and they have been laid before +counsel, who give a very hopeful account of them. + +Being fully authorized by my lord, I took leave of him over-night, and +set out early in the morning, directly for Mansfield-house. I arrived +there soon after their breakfast was over, and was received by Lady +Mansfield, her sons, (who happened to be all at home,) and her two +daughters, with politeness. + +After some general conversation, I took Lady Mansfield aside; and making +an apology for my freedom, asked her, If Miss Mansfield were, to her +knowledge, engaged in her affections? + +She answered, she was sure she was not: Ah, sir, said she, a man of your +observation must know, that the daughters of a decayed family of some +note in the world, do not easily get husbands. Men of great fortunes +look higher: men of small must look out for wives to enlarge them; and +men of genteel businesses are afraid of young women better born than +portioned. Every body knows not that my girls can bend to their +condition; and they must be contented to live single all their lives; and +so they will choose to do, rather than not marry creditably, and with +some prospect. + +I then opened my mind fully to her. She was agreeably surprised: but +who, sir, said she, would expect such a proposal from the next heir to +Lord W----? + +I made known to her how much in earnest I was in this proposal, as well +for my lord's sake, as for the young lady's. I will take care, madam, +said I, that Miss Mansfield, if she will consent to make Lord W---- +happy, shall have very handsome settlements, and such an allowance for +pin-money, as shall enable her to gratify every moderate, every +reasonable, wish of her heart. + +Was it possible, she asked, for such an affair to be brought about? +Would my lord--There she stopt. + +I said, I would be answerable for him: and desired her to break the +matter to her daughter directly. + +I left Lady Mansfield, and joined the brothers, who were with their two +sisters; and soon after Miss Mansfield was sent for by her mother. + +After they had been a little while together, my Lady Mansfield sent to +speak with me. They were both silent when I came in. The mother was at +a loss what to say: the daughter was in still greater confusion. + +I addressed myself to the mother. You have, I perceive, madam, +acquainted Miss Mansfield with the proposal I made to you. I am fully +authorized to make it. Propitious be your silence! There never was, +proceeded I, a treaty of marriage set on foot, that had not its +conveniencies and inconveniencies. My lord is greatly afflicted with the +gout: there is too great a disparity in years. These are the +inconveniencies which are to be considered of for the lady. + +On the other hand, if Miss Mansfield can give into the proposal, she will +be received by my lord as a blessing; as one whose acceptance of him will +lay him under an obligation to her. If this proposal could not have been +made with dignity and honour to the lady, it had not come from me. + +The conveniencies to yourselves will more properly fall under the +consideration of yourselves and family. One thing only I will suggest, +that an alliance with so rich a man as Lord W----, will make, perhaps, +some people tremble, who now think themselves secure. + +But, madam, to the still silent daughter, let not a regard for me bias +you: your family may be sure of my best services, whether my proposal be +received or rejected. + +My lord (I must deal sincerely with you) has lived a life of error. He +thinks so himself. I am earnest to have him see the difference, and to +have an opportunity to rejoice with him upon it. + +I stopt: but both being still silent, the mother looking on the daughter, +the daughter glancing now and then her conscious eye on the mother, If, +madam, said I, you can give your hand to Lord W----, I will take care, +that settlements shall exceed your expectation. What I have observed as +well as heard of Miss Mansfield's temper and goodness, is the principal +motive of my application to her, in preference to all the women I know. + +But permit me to say, that were your affections engaged to the lowest +honest man on earth, I would not wish for your favour to my Lord W----. +And, further, if, madam, you think you should have but the shadow of a +hope, to induce your compliance, that my Lord's death would be more +agreeable to you than his life, then would I not, for your morality's +sake, wish you to engage. In a word, I address myself to you, Miss +Mansfield, as to a woman of honour and conscience: if your conscience +bids you doubt, reject the proposal; and this not only for my lord's +sake, but for your own. + +Consider, if, without too great a force upon your inclinations, you can +behave with that condescension and indulgence to a man who has hastened +advanced age upon himself, which I have thought from your temper I might +hope. + +I have said a great deal, because you, ladies, were silent; and because +explicitness in every case becomes the proposer. Give me leave to +withdraw for a few moments. + +I withdrew, accordingly, to the brothers and sister. I did not think I +ought to mention to them the proposal I had made: it might perhaps have +engaged them all in its favour, as it was of such evident advantage to +the whole family; and that might have imposed a difficulty on the lady, +that neither for her own sake, nor my lord's, it would have been just to +lay upon her. + +Lady Mansfield came out to me, and said, I presume, sir, as we are a +family which misfortune as well as love, has closely bound together, you +will allow it to be mentioned-- + +To the whole family, madam!--By all means. I wanted only first to know, +whether Miss Mansfield's affections were disengaged: and now you shall +give me leave to attend Miss Mansfield. I am a party for my Lord W----: +Miss Mansfield is a party: your debates will be the more free in our +absence. If I find her averse, believe me, madam, I will not endeavour +to persuade her. On the contrary, if she declare against accepting the +proposal, I will be her advocate, though every one else should vote in +its favour. + +The brothers and sister looked upon one another: I left the mother to +propose it to them; and stept into the inner parlour to Miss Mansfield. + +She was sitting with her back to the door, in a meditating posture. She +started at my entrance. + +I talked of indifferent subjects, in order to divert her from the +important one, that had taken up her whole attention. + +It would have been a degree of oppression to her to have entered with her +upon a subject of so much consequence to her while we were alone; and +when her not having given a negative, was to be taken as a modest +affirmative. + +Lady Mansfield soon joined us--My dear daughter, said she, we are all +unanimous. We have agreed to leave every thing to Sir Charles Grandison: +and we hope you will. + +She was silent. I will only ask you, madam, said I, to her, if you have +any wish to take time to consider of the matter? Do you think you shall +be easier in your mind, if you take time?--She was silent. + +I will not at this time, my good Miss Mansfield, urge you further. I +will make my report to Lord W----, and you shall be sure of his joyful +approbation of the steps I have taken, before your final consent shall be +asked for. But that I may not be employed in a doubtful cause, let me be +commissioned to tell my lord, that you are disengaged; and that you +wholly resign yourself to your mother's advice. + +She bowed her head. + +And that you, madam, to Lady Mansfield, are not averse to enter into +treaty upon this important subject. + +Averse, sir! said the mother, bowing, and gratefully smiling. + +I will write the particulars of our conversation to Lord W----, and my +opinion of settlements, and advise him (if I am not forbid) to make a +visit at Mansfield House. [I stopt: they were both silent.] If +possible, I will attend my lord in his first visit. I hope, madam, to +Miss Mansfield, you will not dislike him; I am sure he will be charmed +with you: he is far from being disagreeable in his person: his temper is +not bad. Your goodness will make him good. I dare say that he will +engage your gratitude; and I defy a good mind to separate love from +gratitude. + +We returned to company. I had all their blessings pronounced at once, as +from one mouth. The melancholy brother was enlivened: who knows but the +consequence of this alliance may illuminate his mind? I could see by the +pleasure they all had, in beholding him capable of joy on the occasion, +that they hoped it would. The unhappy situation of the family affairs, +as it broke the heart of the eldest brother, fixed a gloom on the temper +of this gentleman. + +I was prevailed upon to dine with them. In the conversation we had at +and after dinner, their minds opened, and their characters rose upon me. +Lord W---- will be charmed with Miss Mansfield. I am delighted to think, +that my mother's brother will be happy, in the latter part of his life, +with a wife of so much prudence and goodness, as I am sure this lady will +make him. On one instance of her very obliging behaviour to me, I +whispered her sister, Pray, Miss Fanny, tell Miss Mansfield, but not till +I am gone, that she knows not the inconveniencies she is bringing upon +herself: I may, perhaps, hereafter, have the boldness, to look for the +same favour from my aunt, that I meet with from Miss Mansfield. + +If my sister, returned she, should ever misbehave to her benefactor, I +will deny my relation to her. + + +You will soon have another letter from me, with an account of the success +of my visit to Sir Harry Beauchamp and his lady. We must have our +Beauchamp among us, my dear friend: I should rather say, you must among +you; for I shall not be long in England. He will supply to you, my dear +Dr. Bartlett, the absence (it will not, I hope, be a long one) of your + +CHARLES GRANDISON. + + +Sir Charles, I remember, as the doctor read, mentions getting leave for +his Beauchamp to come over, who, he says, will supply his absence to him +--But, ah, Lucy! Who, let me have the boldness to ask, shall supply it +to your Harriet? Time, my dear, will do nothing for me, except I could +hear something very much amiss of this man. + +I have a great suspicion, that the first part of the letter enclosed was +about me. The doctor looked so earnestly at me, when he skipt two sides +of it; and, as I thought, with so much compassion!--To be sure, it was +about me. + +What would I give to know as much of his mind as Dr. Bartlett knows! If +I thought he pitied the poor Harriet--I should scorn myself. I am, I +will be, above his pity, Lucy. In this believe your + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER VII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SUNDAY NIGHT, APRIL 2. + + +Dr. Bartlett has received from Sir Charles an account of what passed last +Friday between him and Sir Harry and Lady Beauchamp. By the doctor's +allowance, I enclose it to you. + +In this letter, Lucy, you will see him in a new light; and as a man whom +there is no resisting, when he resolves to carry a point. But it +absolutely convinces me, of what indeed I before suspected, that he has +not an high opinion of our sex in general: and this I will put down as a +blot in his character. He treats us, in Lady Beauchamp, as perverse +humoursome babies, loving power, yet not knowing how to use it. See him +so delicate in his behaviour and address to Miss Mansfield, and carry in +your thoughts his gaiety and adroit management to Lady Beauchamp, as in +this letter, and you will hardly think him the same man. Could he be +any thing to me, I should be more than half afraid of him: yet this may +be said in his behalf;--He but accommodates himself to the persons he has +to deal with:--He can be a man of gay wit, when he pleases to descend, as +indeed his sister Charlotte has as often found, as she has given occasion +for the exercise of that talent in him:--Yet, that virtue, for its own +sake, is his choice; since, had he been a free liver, he would have been +a dangerous man. + +But I will not anticipate too much: read it here, if you please. + + + +LETTER VIII + +SIR CHARLES GRANDISON, TO DR. BARTLETT +[ENCLOSED IN THE PRECEDING.] +GRANDISON HALL, FRIDAY NIGHT, MARCH 31. + + +I arrived at Sir Harry Beauchamp's about twelve this day. He and his +lady expected me, from the letter which I wrote and shewed you before I +left the town; in which, you know, I acquainted Sir Harry with his son's +earnest desire to throw himself at his feet, and to pay his duty to his +mother, in England; and engaged to call myself, either this day or +to-morrow, for an answer. + +Sir Harry received me with great civility, and even affection. Lady +Beauchamp, said he, will be with us in a moment. I am afraid you will +not meet with all the civility from her on the errand you are come upon, +that a man of Sir Charles Grandison's character deserves to meet with +from all the world. We have been unhappy together, ever since we had +your letter. I long to see my son: your friendship for him establishes +him in my heart. But--And then he cursed the apron-string tenure, by +which, he said, he held his peace. + +You will allow me, Sir Harry, said I, to address myself in my own way to +my lady. You give me pleasure, in letting me know, that the difficulty +is not with you. You have indeed, sir, one of the most prudent young men +in the world for your son. His heart is in your hand: you may form it as +you please. + +She is coming! She is coming! interrupted he. We are all in pieces: we +were in the midst of a feud, when you arrived. If she is not civil to +you-- + +In swam the lady; her complexion raised; displeasure in her looks to me, +and indignation in her air to Sir Harry; as if they had not had their +contention out, and she was ready to renew it. + +With as obliging an air as I could assume, I paid my compliments to her. +She received them with great stiffness; swelling at Sir Harry: who sidled +to the door, in a moody and sullen manner, and then slipt out. + +You are Sir Charles Grandison, I suppose, sir, said she; I never saw you +before: I have heard much talk of you.--But, pray, sir, are good men +always officious men? Cannot they perform the obligations of friendship, +without discomposing families? + +You see me now, madam, in an evil moment, if you are displeased with me: +but I am not used to the displeasure of ladies: I do my utmost not to +deserve it; and, let me tell you, madam, that I will not suffer you to be +displeased with me. + +I took her half-reluctant hand, and led her to a chair, and seated myself +in another near her. + +I see, sir, you have your arts. + +She took the fire-screen, that hung by the side of the chimney, and held +it before her face, now glancing at me, now turning away her eye, as if +resolved to be displeased. + +You come upon a hateful errand, sir: I have been unhappy ever since your +officious letter came. + +I am sorry for it, madam. While you are warm with the remembrance of a +past misunderstanding, I will not offer to reason with you: but let me, +madam, see less discomposure in your looks. I want to take my +impressions of you from more placid features: I am a painter, madam: I +love to draw lady's pictures. Will you have this pass for a first +sitting? + +She knew not what to do with her anger: she was loath to part with it. + +You are impertinent, Sir Charles--Excuse me--You are impertinent. + +I do excuse you, Lady Beauchamp: and the rather, as I am sure you do not +think me so. Your freedom is a mark of your favour; and I thank you for +it. + +You treat me as a child, sir-- + +I treat all angry people as children: I love to humour them. Indeed, +Lady Beauchamp, you must not be angry with me. Can I be mistaken? Don't +I see in your aspect the woman of sense and reason?--I never blame a lady +for her humoursomeness, so much as, in my mind, I blame her mother. + +Sir! said she. I smiled. She bit her lip, to avoid returning a smile. + +Her character, my dear friend, is not, you know, that of an ill-tempered +woman, though haughty, and a lover of power. + +I have heard much of you, Sir Charles Grandison: but I am quite mistaken +in you: I expected to see a grave formal young man, his prim mouth set in +plaits: But you are a joker; and a free man; a very free man, I do assure +you. + +I would be thought decently free, madam; but not impertinent. I see with +pleasure a returning smile. O that ladies knew how much smiles become +their features!--Very few causes can justify a woman's anger--Your sex, +madam, was given to delight, not to torment us. + +Torment you, sir!--Pray, has Sir Harry-- + +Sir Harry cannot look pleased, when his lady is dis-pleased: I saw that +you were, madam, the moment I beheld you. I hope I am not an unwelcome +visitor to Sir Harry for one hour, (I intend to stay no longer,) that he +received me with so disturbed a countenance, and has now withdrawn +himself, as if to avoid me. + +To tell you the truth, Sir Harry and I have had a dispute: but he always +speaks of Sir Charles Grandison with pleasure. + +Is he not offended with me, madam, for the contents of the letter-- + +No, sir, and I suppose you hardly think he is--But I am-- + +Dear madam, let me beg your interest in favour of the contents of it. + +She took fire--rose up-- + +I besought her patience--Why should you wish to keep abroad a young man, +who is a credit to his family, and who ought to be, if he is not, the joy +of his father? Let him owe to your generosity, madam, that recall, which +he solicits: it will become your character: he cannot be always kept +abroad: be it your own generous work-- + +What, sir--Pray, sir--With an angry brow--- + +You must not be angry with me, madam--(I took her hand)--You can't be +angry in earnest-- + +Sir Charles Grandison--You are--She withdrew her hand; You are, repeated +she--and seemed ready to call names-- + +I am the Grandison you call me; and I honour the maternal character. You +must permit me to honour you, madam. + +I wonder, sir-- + +I will not be denied. The world reports misunderstandings between you +and Mr. Beauchamp. That busy world that will be meddling, knows your +power, and his dependence. You must not let it charge you with an ill +use of that power: if you do, you will have its blame, when you might +have its praise: he will have its pity. + +What, sir, do you think your fine letters, and smooth words, will avail +in favour of a young fellow who has treated me with disrespect? + +You are misinformed, madam.--I am willing to have a greater dependence +upon your justice, upon your good-nature, than upon any thing I can urge +either by letter or speech. Don't let it be said, that you are not to be +prevailed on--A woman not to be prevailed on to join in an act of +justice, of kindness; for the honour of the sex, let it not be said. + +Honour of the sex, sir!--Fine talking!--Don't I know, that were I to +consent to his coming over, the first thing would be to have his annuity +augmented out of my fortune? He and his father would be in a party +against me. Am I not already a sufferer through him in his father's +love?--You don't know, sir, what has passed between Sir Harry and me +within this half-hour--But don't talk to me: I won't hear of it: the +young man hates me: I hate him; and ever will. + +She made a motion to go. + +With a respectful air, I told her, she must not leave me. My motive +deserved not, I said, that both she and Sir Harry should leave me in +displeasure. + +You know but too well, resumed she, how acceptable your officiousness (I +must call it so) is to Sir Harry. + +And does Sir Harry, madam, favour his son's suit? You rejoice me: let +not Mr. Beauchamp know that he does: and do you, my dear Lady Beauchamp, +take the whole merit of it to yourself. How will he revere you for your +goodness to him! And what an obligation, if, as you say, Sir Harry is +inclined to favour him, will you, by your generous first motion, lay upon +Sir Harry! + +Obligation upon Sir Harry! Yes, Sir Charles Grandison, I have laid too +many obligations already upon him, for his gratitude. + +Lay this one more. You own you have had a misunderstanding this morning: +Sir Harry is withdrawn, I suppose, with his heart full: let me, I beseech +you, make up the misunderstanding. I have been happy in this way--Thus +we will order it--We will desire him to walk in. I will beg your +interest with him in favour of the contents of the letter I sent. His +compliance will follow as an act of obligingness to you. The grace of +the action will be yours. I will be answerable for Mr. Beauchamp's +gratitude.--Dear madam, hesitate not. The young gentleman must come over +one day: let the favour of its being an early one, be owing entirely to +you. + +You are a strange man, sir: I don't like you at all: you would persuade +me out of my reason. + +Let us, madam, as Mr. Beauchamp and I are already the dearest of friends, +begin a family understanding. Let St. James's-square, and +Berkley-square, when you come to town, be a next-door neighbourhood. +Give me the consideration of being the bondsman for the duty of Mr. +Beauchamp to you, as well as to his father. + +She was silent: but looked vexed and irresolute. + +My sisters, madam, are amiable women. You will be pleased with them. +Lord L---- is a man worthy of Sir Harry's acquaintance. We shall want +nothing, if you would think so, but Mr. Beauchamp's presence among us. + +What! I suppose you design your maiden sister for the young fellow--But +if you do, sir, you must ask me for--There she stopt. + +Indeed I do not. He is not at present disposed to marry. He never will +without his father's approbation, and let me say--yours. My sister is +addressed to by Lord G----, and I hope will soon be married to him. + +And do you say so, Sir Charles Grandison?--Why then you are a more +disinterested man, than I thought you in this application to Sir Harry. +I had no doubt but the young fellow was to be brought over to marry Miss +Grandison; and that he was to be made worthy of her at my expense. + +She enjoyed, as it seemed, by her manner of pronouncing the words young +fellow, that designed contempt, which was a tacit confession of the +consequence he once was of to her. + +I do assure you, madam, that I know not his heart, if he has at present +any thoughts of marriage. + +She seemed pleased at this assurance. + +I repeated my wishes, that she would take to herself the merit of +allowing Mr. Beauchamp to return to his native country: and that she +would let me see her hand in Sir Harry's, before I left them. + +And pray, sir, as to his place of residence, were he to come: do you +think he should live under the same roof with me? + +You shall govern that point, madam, as you approve or disapprove of his +behaviour to you. + +His behaviour to me, sir!--One house cannot, shall not, hold him and me. + +I think, madam, that you should direct in this article. I hope, after a +little while, so to order my affairs, as constantly to reside in England. +I should think myself very happy if I could prevail upon Mr. Beauchamp to +live with me. + +But I must see him, I suppose? + +Not, madam, unless you shall think it right, for the sake of the world's +opinion, that you should. + +I can't consent-- + +You can, madam! You do!--I cannot allow Lady Beauchamp to be one of +those women, who having insisted upon a wrong point, can be convinced, +yet not know how to recede with a grace.--Be so kind to yourself, as to +let Sir Harry know, that you think it right for Mr. Beauchamp to return; +but that it must be upon your own conditions: then, madam, make those +conditions generous ones; and how will Sir Harry adore you! How will Mr. +Beauchamp revere you! How shall I esteem you! + +What a strange impertinent have I before me! + +I love to be called names by a lady. If undeservedly, she lays herself +by them under obligation to me, which she cannot be generous if she +resolves not to repay. Shall I endeavour to find out Sir Harry? Or will +you, madam? + +Was you ever, Sir Charles Grandison, denied by any woman to whom you sued +for favour? + +I think, madam, I hardly ever was: but it was because I never sued for a +favour, that it was not for a lady's honour to grant. This is the case +now; and this makes me determine, that I will not be denied the grant of +my present request. Come, come, madam! How can a woman of your +ladyship's good sense (taking her hand, and leading her to the door) seem +to want to be persuaded to do a thing she knows in her heart to be right! +Let us find Sir Harry. + +Strange man!--Unhand me--He has used me unkindly-- + +Overcome him then by your generosity. But, dear Lady Beauchamp, taking +both her hands, and smiling confidently in her face, [I could, my dear +Dr. Bartlett, do so to Lady Beauchamp,] will you make me believe, that a +woman of your spirit (you have a charming spirit, Lady Beauchamp) did not +give Sir Harry as much reason to complain, as he gave you?--I am sure by +his disturbed countenance-- + +Now, Sir Charles Grandison, you are downright affronting. Unhand me! + +This misunderstanding is owing to my officious letter. I should have +waited on you in person. I should from the first have put it in your +power, to do a graceful and obliging thing. I ask your pardon. I am not +used to make differences between man and wife. + +I touched first one hand, then the other, of the perverse baby with my +lips--Now am I forgiven: now is my friend Beauchamp permitted to return +to his native country: now are Sir Harry and his Lady reconciled--Come, +come, madam, it must be so--What foolish things are the quarrels of +married people!--They must come to an agreement again; and the sooner the +better; before hard blows are struck, that will leave marks--Let us, dear +madam, find out Sir Harry-- + +And then, with an air of vivacity, that women, whether in courtship or +out of it, dislike not, I was leading her once more to the door, and, as +I intended, to Sir Harry, wherever he could be found. + +Hold, hold, sir! resisting; but with features far more placid than she +had suffered to be before visible--If I must be compelled--You are a +strange man, Sir Charles Grandison--If I must be compelled to see Sir +Harry--But you are a strange man--And she rang the bell. + +Lady Beauchamp, Dr. Bartlett, is one of those who would be more ready to +forgive an innocent freedom, than to be gratified by a profound respect; +otherwise I had not treated her with so little ceremony. Such women are +formidable only to those who are afraid of their anger, or who make it a +serious thing. + +But when the servant appeared, she not knowing how to condescend, I said, +Go to your master, sir, and tell him that your lady requests the +favour-- + +Requests the favour! repeated she; but in a low voice: which was no bad +sign. + +The servant went with a message worded with more civility than perhaps he +was used to carry to his master from his lady. + +Now, dear Lady Beauchamp, for your own sake; for Sir Harry's sake; make +happy; and be happy. Are there not, dear madam, unhappinesses enow in +life, that we must wilfully add to them? + +Sir Harry came in sight. He stalked towards us with a parade like that +of a young officer wanting to look martial at the head of his company. + +Could I have seen him before he entered, my work would have been easier. +But his hostile air disposed my lady to renew hostilities. + +She turned her face aside, then her person; and the cloudy indignation +with which she entered at first, again overspread her features. Ought +wrath, Dr. Bartlett, to be so ready to attend a female will?--Surely, +thought I, my lady's present airs, after what has passed between her and +me, can be only owing to the fear of making a precedent, and being +thought too easily persuaded. + +Sir Harry, said I, addressing myself to him, I have obtained Lady +Beauchamp's pardon for the officious letter-- + +Pardon, Sir Charles Grandison! You are a good man, and it was kindly +intended-- + +He was going on: anger from his eyes flashed upon his cheek-bones, and +made them shine. My lady's eyes struck fire at Sir Harry, and shewed +that she was not afraid of him. + +Better intended, than done, interrupted I, since my lady tells me, that +it was the occasion of a misunderstanding--But, sir, all will be right: +my lady assures me, that you are not disinclined to comply with the +contents; and she has the goodness-- + +Pray, Sir Charles, interrupted the lady-- + +To give me hopes that she-- + +Pray, Sir Charles-- + +Will use her interest to confirm you in your favourable sentiments-- + +Sir Harry cleared up at once--May I hope, madam--And offered to take her +hand. + +She withdrew it with an air. O Dr. Bartlett, I must have been thought an +unpolite husband, had she been my wife! + +I took her hand. Excuse this freedom, Sir Harry--For Heaven's sake, +madam, (whispering,) do what I know you will do, with a grace--Shall +there be a misunderstanding, and the husband court a refused hand?--I +then forced her half-unwilling hand into his, with an air that I intended +should have both freedom and respect in it. + +What a man have we got here, Sir Harry? This cannot be the modest man, +that you have praised to me--I thought a good man must of necessity be +bashful, if not sheepish: and here your visitor is the boldest man in +England. + +The righteous, Lady Beauchamp, said Sir Harry, with an aspect but +half-conceding, is bold as a lion. + +And must I be compelled thus, and by such a man, to forgive you, Sir +Harry?--Indeed you were very unkind. + +And you, Lady Beauchamp, were very cruel. + +I did not think, sir, when I laid my fortune at your feet-- + +O, Lady Beauchamp! You said cutting things! Very cutting things. + +And did not you, Sir Harry, say, it should be so?--So very peremptorily! + +Not, madam, till you, as peremptorily-- + +A little recrimination, thought I, there must be, to keep each in +countenance on their past folly. + +Ah, Sir Charles!--You may rejoice that you are not married, said Sir +Harry. + +Dear Sir Harry, said I, we must bear with ladies. They are meek good +creatures--They-- + +Meek! Sir Charles, repeated Sir Harry, with a half-angry smile, and +shrugging, as if his shoulder had been hurt with his wife's meekness-- +say, meek! + +Now, Sir Charles Grandison, said my lady, with an air of threatening-- + +I was desirous either of turning the lady's displeasure into a jest, or +of diverting it from the first object, in order to make her play with it, +till she had lost it. + +Women are of gentle natures, pursued I; and, being accustomed to be +humoured, opposition sits not easy upon them. Are they not kind to us, +Sir Harry, when they allow of our superiority, by expecting us to bear +with their pretty perversenesses? + +O, Sir Charles Grandison! said my lady; both her hands lifted up. + +Let us be contented, proceeded I, with such their kind acknowledgments, +and in pity to them, and in compliment to ourselves, bear with their +foibles.--See, madam, I ever was an advocate for the ladies. + +Sir Charles, I have no patience with you-- + +What can a poor woman do, continued I, when opposed? She can only be a +little violent in words, and, when she has said as much as she chooses to +say, be perhaps a little sullen. For my part, were I so happy as to call +a woman mine, and she happened to be in the wrong, I would endeavour to +be in the right, and trust to her good sense to recover her temper: +arguments only beget arguments.--Those reconciliations are the most +durable, in which the lady makes the advances. + +What doctrine is this, Sir Charles! You are not the man I took you for. +--I believe, in my conscience, that you are not near so good a man, as +the world reports you. + +What, madam, because I pretend to know a little of the sex? Surely, Lady +Beauchamp, a man of common penetration may see to the bottom of a woman's +heart. A cunning woman cannot hide it. A good woman will not. You are +not, madam, such mysteries, as some of us think you. Whenever you know +your own minds, we need not be long doubtful: that is all the difficulty: +and I will vindicate you, as to that-- + +As how, pray, sir? + +Women, madam, were designed to be dependent, as well as gentle, +creatures; and, of consequence when left to their own wills, they know +not what to resolve upon. + +I was hoping, Sir Charles, just now, that you would stay to dinner: but +if you talk at this rate, I believe I shall be ready to wish you out of +the house. + +Sir Harry looked as if he were half-willing to be diverted at what passed +between his lady and me. It was better for me to say what he could not +but subscribe to by his feeling, than for him to say it. Though reproof +seldom amends a determined spirit, such a one as this lady's; yet a man +who suffers by it cannot but have some joy when he hears his sentiments +spoken by a bystander. This freedom of mine seemed to save the married +pair a good deal of recrimination. + +You remind me, madam, that I must be gone, rising and looking at my +watch. + +You must not leave us, Sir Charles, said Sir Harry. + +I beg excuse, Sir Harry--Yours, also, madam, smiling--Lady Beauchamp must +not twice wish me out of the house. + +I will not excuse you, sir, replied she--If you have a desire to see the +matter completed--She stopt--You must stay to dinner, be that as it will. + +'Be that as it will,' madam!--You shall not recede. + +Recede! I have not yet complied-- + +O these women! They are so used to courtship, that they know not how to +do right things without it--And, pardon me, madam, not always with it. + +Bold man--Have I consented-- + +Have you not, madam, given a lady's consent? That we men expect not to +be very explicit, very gracious.--It is from such non-negative consents, +that we men make silence answer all we wish. + +I leave Sir Charles Grandison to manage this point, said Sir Harry. In +my conscience, I think the common observation just: a stander-by sees +more of the game, than he that plays. + +It ever will be so, Sir Harry--But I will tell you, my lady and I have as +good as agreed the matter-- + +I have agreed to nothing, Sir Harry-- + +Hush, madam--I am doing you credit.--Lady Beauchamp speaks aside +sometimes, Sir Harry: you are not to hear any thing she says, that you +don't like. + +Then I am afraid I must stop my ears for eight hours out of twelve. + +That was aside, Lady Beauchamp--You are not to hear that. + +To sit, like a fool, and hear myself abused--A pretty figure I make! Sir +Charles Grandison, let me tell you, that you are the first man that ever +treated me like a fool. + +Excuse, madam, a little innocent raillery--I met you both, with a +discomposure on your countenances. I was the occasion of it, by the +letter I sent to Sir Harry. I will not leave you discomposed. I think +you a woman of sense; and my request is of such a nature, that the +granting of it will confirm to me, that you are so--But you have granted +it-- + +I have not. + +That's charmingly said--My lady will not undervalue the compliment she is +inclined to make you, Sir Harry. The moment you ask for her compliance, +she will not refuse to your affection, what she makes a difficulty to +grant to the entreaty of an almost stranger. + +Let it, let it be so! Lady Beauchamp, said Sir Harry: and he clasped his +arms about her as she sat-- + +There never was such a man as this Sir Charles Grandison in the world!-- +It is a contrivance between you, Sir Harry-- + +Dear Lady Beauchamp, resumed I, depreciate not your compliment to Sir +Harry. There wanted not contrivance, I dare to hope, (if there did, it +had it not,) to induce Lady Beauchamp to do a right, a kind, an obliging +thing. + +Let me, my dearest Lady Beauchamp, said Sir Harry--Let me request-- + +At your request, Sir Harry--But not at Sir Charles's. + +This is noble, said I. I thank you, madam, for the absent youth. Both +husband and son will think themselves favoured by you; and the more, as I +am sure, that you will by the cheerful welcome, which you will give the +young man, shew, that it is a sincere compliment that you have made to +Sir Harry. + +This man has a strange way of flattering one into acts of--of--what shall +I call them?--But, Sir Harry, Mr. Beauchamp must not, I believe, live +with us-- + +Sir Harry hesitated. + +I was afraid of opening the wound. I have a request to make to you both, +said I. It is this; that Mr. Beauchamp may be permitted to live with me; +and attend you, madam, and his father, as a visitor, at your own command. +My sister, I believe, will be very soon married to Lord G----. + +That is to be certainly so, interrupted the lady? + +It is, madam. + +But what shall we say, my dear, resumed Sir Harry--Don't fly out again-- +As to the provision for my son?--Two hundred a year--What is two hundred +a year---- + +Why then let it be three, answered she. + +I have a handsome and improvable estate, said I. I have no demands but +those of reason upon me. I would not offer a plea for his coming to +England, (and I am sure he would not have come, if I had,) without his +father's consent: in which, madam, he hoped for yours. You shall not, +sir, allow him either the two or three hundred a year. See him with +love, with indulgence (he will deserve both;) and think not of any thing +else for my Beauchamp. + +There is no bearing this, my dear, said Sir Harry; leaning upon his +lady's shoulder, as he sat, tears in his eyes--My son is already, as I +have heard, greatly obliged to this his true friend--Do you, do you, +madam, answer for me, and for yourself. + +She was overcome: yet pride had its share with generosity. You are, said +she, the Grandison I have heard of: but I will not be under obligations +to you--not pecuniary ones, however. No, Sir Harry! Recall your son: I +will trust to your love: do for him what you please: let him be +independent on this insolent man; [She said this with a smile, that made +it obliging;] and if we are to be visitors, friends, neighbours, let it +be on an equal foot, and let him have nothing to reproach us with. + +I was agreeably surprised at this emanation (shall I call it?) of +goodness: she is really not a bad woman, but a perverse one; in short, +one of those whose passions, when rightly touched, are liable to sudden +and surprising turns. + +Generous, charming Lady Beauchamp! said I: now are you the woman, whom I +have so often heard praised for many good qualities: now will the +portrait be a just one! + +Sir Harry was in raptures; but had like to have spoiled all, by making me +a compliment on the force of example. + +Be this, said I, the result--Mr. Beauchamp comes over. He will be +pleased with whatever you do: at your feet, madam, he shall acknowledge +your favour: My home shall be his, if you permit it: On me, he shall +confer obligations; from you, he shall receive them. If any +considerations of family prudence (there are such, and very just ones) +restrain you from allowing him, at present, what your generosity would +wish to do-- + +Lady Beauchamp's colour was heightened: She interrupted me--We are not, +Sir Charles, so scanty in our fortune-- + +Well, my dear Lady Beauchamp, be all that as you will: not one retrospect +of the past-- + +Yes, Sir Charles, but there shall: his allowance has been lessened for +some years; not from considerations of family prudence--But--Well, 'tis +all at an end, proceeded she--When the young man returns, you, Sir Harry, +for my sake, and for the sake of this strange unaccountable creature, +shall pay him the whole arrear. + +Now, my dear Lady Beauchamp, said I, listing her hand to my lips, permit +me to give you joy. All doubts and misgivings so triumphantly got over, +so solid a foundation laid for family harmony--What was the moment of +your nuptials to this? Sir Harry, I congratulate you: you may, and I +believe you have been, as happy as most men; but now, you will be still +happier. + +Indeed, Sir Harry, said she, you provoked me in the morning: I should not +else-- + +Sir Harry owned himself to blame; and thus the lady's pride was set down +softly. + +She desired Sir Harry to write, before the day concluded, the invitation +of return, to Mr. Beauchamp; and to do her all the credit in it that she +might claim from the last part of the conversation; but not to mention +any thing of the first. + +She afterwards abated a little of this right spirit, by saying, I think, +Sir Harry, you need not mention any thing of the arrears, as I may call +them--But only the future 600L. a year. One would surprise him a little, +you know, and be twice thanked-- + +Surprises of such a nature as this, my dear Dr. Bartlett; pecuniary +surprises!--I don't love them--They are double taxes upon the gratitude +of a worthy heart. Is it not enough for a generous mind to labour under +a sense of obligation?--Pride, vain-glory, must be the motive of such +narrow-minded benefactors: a truly beneficent spirit cannot take delight +in beholding the quivering lip indicating the palpitating heart; in +seeing the downcast countenance, the up-lifted hands, and working +muscles, of a fellow-creature, who, but for unfortunate accidents, would +perhaps himself have had the will, with the power, of shewing a more +graceful benevolence! + +I was so much afraid of hearing farther abatements of Lady Beauchamp's +goodness; so willing to depart with favourable impressions of her for her +own sake; and at the same time so desirous to reach the Hall that night; +that I got myself excused, though with difficulty, staying to dine; and +accepting of a dish of chocolate, I parted with Sir Harry and my lady, +both in equal good humour with themselves and me. + +Could you have thought, my dear friend, that I should have succeeded so +very happily, as I have done, in this affair, and at one meeting? + +I think that the father and stepmother should have the full merit with +our Beauchamp of a turn so unexpected. Let him not therefore ever see +this letter, that he may take his impression of the favour done him, from +that which Sir Harry will write to him. + +My cousin Grandison, whom I hoped to find here, left the Hall on Tuesday +last, though he knew of my intention to be down. I am sorry for it. +Poor Everard! He has been a great while pretty good. I am afraid he +will get among his old acquaintance; and then we shall not hear of him +for some months perhaps. If you see him in town, try to engage him, till +I return. I should be glad of his company to Paris, if his going with +me, will keep him out of harm's way, as it is called. + + +*** + + +SATURDAY, APRIL 1. + +I have had compliments sent me by many of my neighbours, who had hoped I +was come to reside among them. They professed themselves disappointed on +my acquainting them, that I must go up early on Monday morning. I have +invited myself to their Saturday assembly at the Bowling-green-house. + +Our reverend friend Mr. Dobson has been so good as to leave with me the +sermon he is to preach to-morrow on the opening of the church: it is a +very good discourse: I have only exceptions to three or four compliments +he makes to the patron in as many different places of it: I doubt not but +he will have the goodness to omit them. + +I have already looked into all that has been done in the church; and all +that is doing in the house and gardens. When both have had the direction +and inspection of my dear Dr. Bartlett, need I say, that nothing could +have been better? + + +*** + + +Halden is just arrived from my lord, with a letter, which has enabled me +to write to Lady Mansfield his lordship's high approbation of all our +proceedings; and that he intends some one early day in next week to pay +to her, and Miss Mansfield, his personal compliments. + +He has left to me the article of settlements; declaring, that his regard +for my future interest is all that he wishes may be attended to. + +I have therefore written, as from himself, that he proposes a jointure of +1200L. a year, penny-rents, and 300 guineas a year for her private purse; +and that his lordship desires, that Miss Mansfield will make a present to +her sister of whatever she may be entitled to in her own right. +Something was mentioned to me at Mansfield-house of a thousand pounds +left to her by a godmother. + +Halden being very desirous to see his future lady, I shall, at his +request, send the letter I have written to Lady Mansfield by him early in +the morning; with a line recommending him to the notice of that lady as +Lord W----'s principal steward. + +Adieu, my dear Dr. Bartlett: I have joy in the joy of all these good +people. If Providence graciously makes me instrumental to it, I look +upon myself but as its instrument. I hope ostentation has no share in +what draws on me more thanks and praises than I love to hear. + +Lord W---- has a right to be made happy by his next relation, if his next +relation can make him so. Is he not my mother's brother? Would not her +enlarged soul have rejoiced on the occasion, and blessed her son for an +instance of duty to her, paid by his disinterested regard for her +brother? Who, my dear Dr. Bartlett, is so happy, yet who, in some cases, +so unhappy, as your + +CHARLES GRANDISON. + + + +LETTER IX + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +MONDAY, APRIL 3. + + +The Countess of D----, and the earl, her son, have but just left us. The +countess sent last night, to let my cousin Reeves know of their intended +morning visit, and they came together. As the visit was made to my +cousin, I did not think myself obliged to be in waiting for them below. I +was therefore in my closet, comforting myself with my own agreeable +reflections. They were there a quarter of an hour before I was sent to. + +Their talk was of me. I am used to recite my own praises, you know; and +what signifies making a parade of apologies for continuing the use? I +don't value myself so much as I once did on peoples favourable opinions. +If I had a heart in my own keeping, I should be glad it was thought a +good one; that's all. Yet though it has littlenesses in it that I knew +nothing of formerly, I hope it is not a bad one. + +My Lord D----, by the whole turn of the partial conversation, was led to +expect a very extraordinary young woman. The lady declared, that she +would have her talk out, and hear all my two cousins were inclined to say +of me, before I was sent up to, as I was not below when they came. + +I was therefore to be seen only as a subject of curiosity. My lord had +declared, it seems, that he would not be denied an introduction to me by +his mother. But there were no thoughts of making any application to a +girl whose heart was acknowledged not to be her own. My lord's honour +would not allow of such an intention. Nor ought it. + +His impatience, however, hastened the message to me. The countess met me +half-way, and embraced me. My lovely girl, how do you?--My lord, said +she, turning to the earl, I need not say--This is Miss Byron. + +He bowed low, and made me a very high compliment; but it had sense in it, +though high, and above my merits. Girls, writing of themselves on these +occasions, must be disclaimers, you know: But, my dear uncle, what care I +now for compliments? The man, from whose mouth only they could be +acceptable, is not at liberty to make me any. + +The countess engaged me in an easy general conversation; part of which +turned upon Lord and Lady L----, Miss Grandison, and Miss Jervois, and +how I had passed my time at Colnebrook, in this wintry season, when there +were so many diversions in town. But, said she, you had a man with you, +who is the admiration of every man and woman, wherever he goes. + +Is there no making an acquaintance, said my lord, with Sir Charles +Grandison? What I hear said of him, every time he is mentioned in +company, is enough to fire a young man with emulation. I should be happy +did I deserve to be thought of as a second or third man to Sir Charles +Grandison. + +I dare say, returned I, your lordship's acquaintance would be highly +acceptable to him. He is easy of access. Men of rank, if men of merit, +must be of kindred, and recognize one another the moment they meet. But +Sir Charles will soon leave England. + +The fool sighed: it was, you may believe, involuntarily. I felt myself +blush, and was the more silly for that. + +The countess took my hand--One word with you, my dear--and led me out +into the next room, and sitting down, made me sit on the same settee with +her. + +O that I could call you daughter! began she at once; and turning half +round to me, put one arm about me, with her other hand taking one of +mine, and earnestly looking in my downcast face. + +I was silent. Ah, Lucy! had Lady D---- been the mother of Sir Charles +Grandison, with what pleasure could I have listened to her! + +You said, my dear, that Sir Charles Grandison will soon leave England: +--and then you sighed--Will you be quite open-hearted?--May I ask you a +question in hope that you will? + +I was silent: yet the word Yes was on my lips. + +You have caused it to be told me, that your affections are engaged. This +has been a cruel blow upon us. My lord, nevertheless, has heard so much +of you, [he is really a good young man, my dear,] that (against my +advice, I own,) he would have me introduce him into your company. I see +by his looks, that he could admire you above all women. He never was in +love: I should be sorry if he were disappointed in his first love. I +hope his promised prudence will be his guard, if there be no prospect of +his succeeding with you--She paused--I was still silent-- + +It will be a mark of your frankness of heart, my dear, if, when you take +my full meaning, you prevent me speaking more than I need.--I would not +oppress you, my sweet love--Such a delicacy, and such a frankness +mingled, have I never seen in young woman--But tell me, my dear, has Sir +Charles Grandison made his addresses to you? + +It was a grievous question for me to answer--But why was it so, my Lucy, +when all the hopes I ever had, proceeded from my own presumption, +confirmed (that's true, of late!) by his sisters partiality in my favour; +and when his unhappy Clementina has such a preferable claim? + +What says Miss Byron? + +She says, madam, that she reveres Lady D----, and will answer any +questions that she puts to her, however affecting--Sir Charles Grandison +has not. + +Once I thought, proceeded she, that I never would make a second motion, +were the woman a princess, who had confessed a prior love, or even +liking: but the man is Sir Charles Grandison, whom all women must esteem; +and the woman is Miss Byron, whom all men must love. Let me ask you, my +dear--Have you any expectation, that the first of men (I will call him +so) and the loveliest and most amiable-minded of women, can come +together?--You sighed, you know, when you mentioned, that Sir Charles was +soon to leave England; and you own that he has not made addresses to you +--Don't be uneasy, my love!--We women, in these tender cases, see into +each other's hearts from small openings--Look upon me as your mother-- +What say you, love? + +Your ladyship compliments me with delicacy and frankness--It is too hard +a question, if I have any of the first, to answer without blushes. A +young woman to be supposed to have an esteem for a man, who has made no +declarations, and whose behaviour to her is such only as shews a +politeness to which he is accustomed, and only the same kind of +tenderness as he shews to his sisters;--and whom sometimes he calls +sister--as if--Ah, madam, how can one answer? + +You have answered, my dear, and with that delicacy and frankness too, +which make a principal part of your character. If my son (and he shall +not be encouraged in his hopes, if he sees you not, mind as well as +person, with his mother's eyes) should not be able to check himself by +the apprehensions he has had reason for, of being but a second man in the +favour of the object of his wishes [We, my dear, have our delicacies]; +could you not allow him a second place in your favour, that might, in +time, as he should merit, and as you should subdue your prepossessions, +give him a first?--Hush--my dear, for one moment--Your honour, your +piety, are my just dependence; and will be his.--And now speak: it is to +me, my dear: speak your whole heart: let not any apprehended difficulty-- +I am a woman as well as you. And prepared to indulge-- + +Your goodness, madam, and nothing else, interrupted I, gives me +difficulty.--My Lord D---- seems to me to be a man of merit, and not a +disagreeable man in his person and manners. What he said of Sir Charles +Grandison, and of his emulation being fired by his example, gave him +additional merit with me. He must have a good mind. I wish him +acquainted with Sir Charles, for his own sake, and for the sake of the +world, which might be benefited by his large power, so happily directed! +--But as to myself, I should forfeit the character of frankness of heart, +which your ladyship's goodness ascribes to me, if I did not declare, that +although I cannot, and, I think ought not to entertain a hope with regard +to Sir Charles Grandison, since there is a lady who deserved him by +severe sufferings before I knew him; yet is my heart so wholly attached, +that I cannot think it just to give the least encouragement to any other +proposal. + +You are an excellent young woman: but, my dear, if Sir Charles Grandison +is engaged--your mind will, it must change. Few women marry their first +loves. Your heart-- + +O, madam! it is already a wedded heart: it is wedded to his merits; his +merits will be always the object of my esteem: I can never think of any +other, as I ought to think of the man to whom I give my hand. + +Like merits, my dear, as person is not the principal motive, may produce +like attachments. My Lord D---- will be, in your hands, another Sir +Charles Grandison. + +How good you are, my dear Lady D----! But allow me to repeat, as the +strongest expression I can use, because I mean it to carry in it all the +force that can be given it, that my heart is already a wedded heart. + +You have spoken with great force: God bless you, my dear, as I love you! +The matter shall take its course. If my lord should happen to be a +single man some time hence (and, I can tell you, that your excellencies +will make our choice difficult): and if your mind, from any accident, or +from persuasion of friends, should then have received alteration; you may +still be happy in each other. I will therefore only thank you for that +openness of heart, which must set free the heart of my son--Had you had +the least lurking inclination to coquetry, and could have taken pride in +conquests, he might have been an undone man.--We will return to the +company--But spare him, my dear: you must not talk much. He will love +you, if you do, too fervently for his own peace. Try to be a little +awkward--I am afraid for him: indeed I am. O that you had never seen Sir +Charles Grandison! + +I could not answer one word. She took my hand; and led me into the +company. + +Had I been silent, when my lord directed his discourse to me, or answered +only No, or Yes, the Countess would have thought me very vain; and that +I ascribed to myself the consequence she so generously gave me, with +respect to my lord. I therefore behaved and answered unaffectedly; but +avoided such a promptness of speech, as would have looked like making +pretensions to knowledge and opinion, though some of my lord's questions +were apparently designed to engage me into freedom of discourse. The +countess observed me narrowly. She whispered to me, that she did; and +made me a very high compliment on my behaviour. How much, Lucy, do I +love and reverence her! + +My lord was spoken too slightly of, by Miss Grandison, in a former +conversation. He is really a fine gentleman. Any woman who is not +engaged in her affections, may think herself very happy with him. His +conversation was easy and polite, and he said nothing that was low or +trifling. Indeed, Lucy, I think Mr. Greville and Mr. Fenwick are as +greatly inferior to Lord D----, as Lord D---- is to Sir Charles +Grandison. + +At parting, he requested of me, to be allowed to repeat his visits. + +My lord, said the countess, before I could answer, you must not expect a +mere stiff maiden answer from Miss Byron: she is above all vulgar forms. +She and her cousins have too much politeness, and, I will venture to say, +discernment, not to be glad of your acquaintance, as an acquaintance-- +But, for the rest, you must look to your heart. + +I shall be afraid, said he, turning to the countess, to ask your ladyship +for an explanation. Miss Byron, I hope, sir, addressing himself to Mr. +Reeves, will not refuse me her company, when I pay you my compliments. +Then turning to me, I hope, madam, I shall not be punished for admiring +you. + +My Lord D----, replied I, will be entitled to every civility. I had said +more, had he not snatched my hand a little too eagerly, and kissed it. + +And thus much for the visit of the Countess of D---- and the earl. + + +*** + + +Did I tell you in my former letter, that Emily is with me half her time? +She is a most engaging young creature. Her manners are so pure! Her +heart is so sincere and open!--O, Lucy! you would dearly love her. I +wish I may be asked to carry her down with me. Yet she adores her +guardian: but her reverence for him will not allow of the innocent +familiarity in thinking of him, that--I don't know what I would say. But +to love with an ardor, that would be dangerous to one's peace, one must +have more tenderness than reverence for the object: Don't you think so, +Lucy? + +Miss Grandison made me one of her flying visits, as she calls them, soon +after the countess and my lord went away. + +Mr. and Mrs. Reeves told her all that had been said before them by the +earl and countess, as well before I went down to them, as after. They +could not tell her what passed between that lady and me, when she took me +aside. I had not had time to tell them. They referred to me for that: +but besides that I was not in spirits, and cared not to say much, I was +not willing to be thought by my refusal of so great an offer, to seem to +fasten myself upon her brother. + +She pitied (who but must?) Lady Clementina. She pitied her brother also: +and, seeing me dejected, she clasped her arms about me, and wet my cheek +with a sisterly tear. + +Is it not very strange, Lucy, that his father should keep him so long +abroad? These free-living men! of what absurdities are they not guilty! +What misfortunes to others do they not occasion? One might, with the +excellent Clementina, ask, What had Mr. Grandison to do in Italy! Or +why, if he must go abroad, did he stay so long? + +Travelling! Young men travelling! I cannot, my dear, but think it a +very nonsensical thing! What can they see, but the ruins of the gay, +once busy world, of which they have read? + +To see a parcel of giddy boys under the direction of tutors or governors +hunting after--What?--Nothing: or, at best, but ruins of ruins; for the +imagination, aided by reflection, must be left, after all, to make out +the greater glories, which the grave-digger Time has buried too deep for +discovery. + +And when this grand tour is completed, the travelled youth returns: And, +what is his boast? Why to be able to tell, perhaps his better taught +friend, who has never been out of his native country, that he has seen in +ruins, what the other has a juster idea of from reading; and of which, it +is more than probable, he can give a much better account than the +traveller. + +And are these, petulant Harriet, (methinks, Lucy, you demand,) all the +benefits that you will suppose Sir Charles Grandison has reaped from his +travelling? + +Why, no. But then, in turn, I ask, Is every traveller a Sir Charles +Grandison?--And does not even he confess to Dr. Bartlett, that he wished +he had never seen Italy? And may not the poor Clementina, and all her +family, for her sake, wish he never had? + +If an opportunity offers, I don't know, but I may ask Sir Charles, +whether, in his conscience, he thinks, that, taking in every +consideration, relating to time, expense, risques of life, health, +morals, this part of the fashionable education of youth of condition is +such an indispensable one, as some seem to suppose it? If Sir Charles +Grandison give it not in favour of travelling, I believe it will be +concluded, that six parts out of eight of the little masters who are sent +abroad for improvement, might as well be kept at home; if, especially, +they would be orderly, and let their fathers and mothers know what to do +with them. + +O, my uncle! I am afraid of you: but spare the poor girl: she +acknowledges her petulance, her presumption. The occasion you know, and +will pity her for it! However, neither petulance nor presumption shall +make her declare as her sentiments what really are not so, in her +unprejudiced hours; and she hopes to have her heart always open to +conviction. + +For the present, Adieu, my Lucy. + + +P.S. Dr. Bartlett tells me, that Mr. Beauchamp is at Calais, waiting the +pleasure of his father; and that Sir Harry has sent express for him, as +at his lady's motion. + + + +LETTER X + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY, APRIL 4. + + +Sir Charles Grandison came to town last night. He was so polite as to +send to inquire after my health; and to let Mr. Reeves know, that he +would do himself the honour, as he called it, of breakfasting with him +this morning. Very ceremonious either for his own sake or for mine-- +Perhaps for both. + +So I am in expectation of seeing within this half-hour, the noble +Clementina's future--Ah Lucy! + +The compliment, you see, is to Mr. Reeves--Shall I stay above, and see if +he will ask for me? He owes me something for the emotion he gave me in +Lord L----'s library. Very little of him since have I seen. + +'Honour forbids me,' said he, then: 'Yet honour bids me.--But I cannot be +ungenerous, selfish.'--These words are still in my ear.--What could he +mean by them?--Honour forbids me--What! to explain himself? He had been +telling me a tender tale: he had ended it. What did honour forbid him to +do?--Yet honour bids me! Why then did he not follow the dictates of +honour? + +But I cannot be unjust:--To Clementina he means. Who wished him to be +so?--Unjust! I hope not. It is a diminution to your glory, Sir Charles +Grandison, to have the word unjust, in this way of speaking, in your +thoughts! As if a good man had lain under a temptation to be unjust; and +had but just recollected himself. + +'I cannot be ungenerous.' To the noble lady, I suppose? He must take +compassion on her. And did he think himself under an obligation to my +forwardness to make this declaration to me, as to one who wished him to +be ungenerous to such a lady for my sake!--I cannot bear the thought of +this. Is it not as if he had said, 'Fond Harriet, I see what you expect +from me--But I must have compassion for, I cannot be ungenerous to, +Clementina!'--But, what a poor word is compassion! Noble Clementina! I +grieve for you, though the man be indeed a generous man!--O defend me, my +better genius, from wanting the compassion even of a Sir Charles +Grandison! + +But what means he by the word selfish! He cannot be selfish!--I +comprehend not the meaning of this word--Clementina has a very high +fortune--Harriet but a very middling one. He cannot be unjust, +ungenerous to Clementina--Nor yet selfish--This word confounds me, from a +man that says nothing at random! + +Well, but breakfast-time is come, while I am busy in self-debatings. I +will go down, that I may not seem to affect parade. I will endeavour to +see with indifference, him that we have all been admiring and studying +for this last fortnight, in such a variety of lights. The christian: the +hero: the friend:--Ah, Lucy! the lover of Clementina: the generous +kinsman of Lord W----: the modest and delicate benefactor of the +Mansfields: the free, gay, raillier of Lady Beauchamp; and, in her, of +all our sex's foibles! + +But he is come! While I am prating to you with my pen, he is come--Why, +Lucy, would you detain me?--Now must the fool go down in a kind of hurry: +Yet stay till she is sent for.--And that is now. + + + +LETTER XI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION + + +O Lucy, I have such a conversation to relate to you!--But let me lead to +it. + +Sir Charles met me at the opening of the door. He was all himself. Such +an unaffected modesty and politeness; yet such an ease and freedom! + +I thought, by his address, that he would have taken my hand; and both +hands were so emulatively passive--How does he manage it to be so free in +a first address, yet so respectful, that a princess could not blame him! + +After breakfast, my cousins being sent for out to attend Sir John +Allestree and his Niece, Sir Charles and I were left alone: and then, +with an air equally solemn and free, he addressed himself to me. + +The last time I had the honour of being alone with my good Miss Byron, I +told her a very tender tale. I was sure it would raise in such a heart +as hers generous compassion for the noblest lady on the continent; and I +presumed, as my difficulties were not owing either to rashness or +indiscretion, that she would also pity the relater. + +The story did indeed affect you; yet, for my own sake, as well as yours, +I referred you to Dr. Bartlett, for the particulars of some parts of it, +upon which I could not expatiate. + +The doctor, madam, has let me know the particulars which he communicated +to you. I remember with pain the pain I gave to your generous heart in +Lord L----'s study. I am sure you must have suffered still more from the +same compassionate goodness on the communications he made you. May I, +madam, however, add a few particulars to the same subject, which he then +could not give you? Now you have been let into so considerable a part of +my story, I am desirous to acquaint you, and that rather than any woman +in the world, with all that I know myself of this arduous affair. + +He ceased speaking. I was in tremors. Sir, sir--The story, I must own, +is a most affecting one. How much is the unhappy lady to be pitied! You +will do me honour in acquainting me with further particulars of it. + +Dr. Bartlett has told you, madam, that the Bishop of Nocera, second +brother to Lady Clementina, has very lately written to me, requesting +that I will make one more visit to Bologna--I have the letter. You read +Italian, madam. Shall I--Or will you--He held it to me. + +I took it. These, Lucy, are the contents. + +'The bishop acquaints him with the very melancholy way they are in. The +father and mother declining in their healths. Signor Jeronymo worse than +when Sir Charles left them. His sister also declining in her health: yet +earnest still to see him. + +'He says, that she is at present at Urbino; but is soon to go to Naples +to the general's. He urges him to make them one visit more; yet owns, +that his family are not unanimous in the request: but that he and Father +Marescotti, and the marchioness, are extremely earnest that this +indulgence should be granted to the wishes of his dear sister. + +'He offers to meet him, at his own appointment, and conduct him to +Bologna; where, he tells him, his presence will rejoice every heart, and +procure an unanimous consent to the interview so much desired: and says, +that if this measure, which he is sorry he has so long withstood, answers +not his hopes, he will advise the shutting up of their Clementina in a +nunnery, or to consign her to private hands, where she shall be treated +kindly, but as persons in her unhappy circumstances are accustomed to be +treated.' + +Sir Charles then shewed me a letter from Signor Jeronymo; in which he +acquaints him with the dangerous way he is in. He tells him, 'That his +life is a burden to him. He wishes it was brought to its period. He +does not think himself in skilful hands. He complains most of the wound +which is in his hip-joint; and which has hitherto baffled the art both of +the Italian and French surgeons who have been consulted. He wishes, that +himself and Sir Charles had been of one country, he says, since the +greatest felicity he now has to wish for, is to yield up his life to the +Giver of it, in the arms of his Grandison.' + +He mentions not one word in this melancholy letter of his unhappy sister: +which Sir Charles accounted for, by supposing, that she not being at +Bologna, they kept from him, in his deplorable way, everything relating +to her, that was likely to disturb him. He then read part of a letter +written in English, by the admired Mrs. Beaumont; some of the contents +of which were, as you shall hear, extremely affecting. + +'Mrs. Beaumont gives him in it an account of the situation of the unhappy +young lady; and excuses herself for not having done it before, in answer +to his request, by reason of an indisposition under which she had for +some time laboured, which had hindered her from making the necessary +inquiries. + +'She mentions, that the lady had received no benefit from her journeyings +from place to place; and from her voyage from Leghorn to Naples, and back +again; and blames her attendants, who, to quiet her, unknown to their +principals, for some time, kept her in expectation of seeing her +Chevalier, at the end of each; for her more prudent Camilla, she says, +had been hindered by illness from attending her, in several of the +excursions. + +'They had a second time, at her own request, put her into a nunnery. She +at first was so sedate in it as gave them hopes: but the novelty going +off, and one of the sisters, to try her, having officiously asked her to +go with her into the parlour, where she said, she would be allowed to +converse through the grate with a certain English gentleman, her +impatience, on her disappointment, made her more ungovernable than they +had ever known her; for she had been for two hours before meditating what +she would say to him. + +'For a week together, she was vehemently intent upon being allowed to +visit England; and had engaged her cousins, Sebastiano and Juliano, to +promise to escort her thither, if she could obtain leave. + +'Her mother brought her off this when nobody else could, only by +entreating her, for her sake, never to think of it more. + +'The marchioness then, encouraged by this instance of her obedience, took +her under her own care: but the young lady going on from flight to +slight; and the way she was in visibly affecting the health of her +indulgent mother; a doctor was found, who was absolutely of opinion, that +nothing but harsh methods would avail: and in this advice Lady Sforza, +and her daughter Laurana, and the general, concurring, she was told, that +she must prepare to go to Milan. She was so earnest to be excused from +going thither, and to be permitted to go to Florence to Mrs. Beaumont, +that they gave way to her entreaties; and the marquis himself, +accompanying her to Florence, prevailed on Mrs. Beaumont to take her +under her care. + +'With her she staid three weeks: she was tolerably sedate in that space +of time; but most so, when she was talking of England, and of the +Chevalier Grandison, and his sisters, with whom she wished to be +acquainted. She delighted to speak English, and to talk of the +tenderness and goodness of her tutor; and of what he said to her, upon +such and such a subject. + +'At the three weeks end, the general made her a visit, in company of Lady +Sforza; and her talk being all on this subject, they were both highly +displeased; and hinted, that she was too much indulged in it; and, +unhappily, she repeating some tender passages that passed in the +interview her mother had permitted her to hold with the Chevalier, the +general would have it, that Mr. Grandison had designedly, from the first, +sought to give himself consequence with her; and expressed himself, on +the occasion, with great violence against him. + +'He carried his displeasure to extremity, and obliged her to go away with +his aunt and him that very day, to her great regret; and as much to the +regret of Mrs. Beaumont, and of the ladies her friends; who tenderly +loved the innocent visionary, as sometimes they called her. And Mrs. +Beaumont is sure, that the gentle treatment she met with from them, would +in time, though perhaps slowly, have greatly helped her.' + +Mrs. Beaumont then gives an account of the harsh treatment the poor young +lady met with. + +Sir Charles Grandison would have stopt reading here. He said, he could +not read it to me, without such a change of voice, as would add to my +pain, as well as to his own. + +Tears often stole down my cheeks, when I read the letters of the bishop +and Signor Jeronymo, and as Sir Charles read a part of Mrs. Beaumont's +letter: and I doubted not but what was to follow would make them flow. +Yet, I said, Be pleased, sir, to let me read on. I am not a stranger to +distress. I can pity others, or I should not deserve pity myself. + +He pointed to the place; and withdrew to the window. + +Mrs. Beaumont says, 'That the poor mother was prevailed upon to resign +her child wholly to the management of Lady Sforza, and her daughter +Laurana, who took her with them to their palace in Milan. + +'The tender parent, however, besought them to spare all unnecessary +severity; which they promised: but Laurana objected to Camilla's +attendance. She was thought too indulgent; and her servant Laura, as a +more manageable person, was taken in her place.' And O how cruelly, as +you shall hear, did they treat her! + +Father Marescotti, being obliged to visit a dying relation at Milan, was +desired by the marchioness to inform himself of the way her beloved +daughter was in, and of the methods taken with her, Lady Laurana having, +in her letters, boasted of both. The good Father acquainted Mrs. +Beaumont with the following particulars: + +'He was surprised to find a difficulty made of his seeing the lady: but, +insisting on it, he found her to be wholly spiritless, and in terror; +afraid to speak, afraid to look, before her cousin Laurana; yet seeming +to want to complain to him. He took notice of this to Laurana--O Father, +said she, we are in the right way, I assure you: when we had her first, +her chevalier, and an interview with him, were ever in her mouth; but now +she is in such order, that she never speaks a word of him. But what, +asked the compassionate Father, must she have suffered, to be brought to +this?--Don't you, Father, trouble yourself about that, replied the cruel +Laurana: the doctors have given their opinion, that some severity was +necessary. It is all for her good. + +'The poor lady expressed herself to him, with earnestness, after the +veil; a subject on which, it seems, they indulged her; urging, that the +only way to secure her health of mind, if it could be restored, was to +yield to her wishes. Lady Sforza said, that it was not a point that she +herself would press; but it was her opinion, that her family sinned in +opposing a divine dedication; and, perhaps, their daughter's malady might +be a judgment upon them for it.' + +The father, in his letter to Mrs. Beaumont, ascribes to Lady Sforza +self-interested motives for her conduct; to Laurana, envy, on account of +Lady Clementina's superior qualities: but nobody, he says, till now, +doubted Laurana's love of her.' + +Father Marescotti then gives a shocking instance of the barbarous +Laurana's treatment of the noble sufferer--All for her good--Wretch! how +my heart rises against her! Her servant Laura, under pretence of +confessing to her Bologna father, in tears, acquainted him with it. It +was perpetrated but the day before. + +'When any severity was to be exercised upon the unhappy lady, Laura was +always shut out of her apartment. Her lady had said something that she +was to be chidden for. Lady Sforza, who was not altogether so severe as +her daughter, was not at home. Laura listened in tears: she heard +Laurana in great wrath with Lady Clementina, and threaten her--and her +young lady break out to this effect--What have I done to you, Laurana, to +be so used?--You are not the cousin Laurana you used to be! You know I +am not able to help myself: why do you call me crazy, and frantic, +Laurana? [Vile upbraider, Lucy!] If the Almighty has laid his hand upon +me, should I not be pitied?-- + +'It is all for your good! It is all for your good, Clementina! You +could not always have spoken so sensibly, cousin. + +'Cruel Laurana! You loved me once! I have no mother, as you have. My +mother was a good mother: but she is gone! Or I am gone, I know not +which! + +'She threatened her then with the strait waistcoat, a punishment which +the unhappy lady was always greatly terrified at. Laura heard her beg +and pray; but, Laurana coming out, she was forced to retire. + +'The poor young lady apprehending her cruel cousin's return with the +threatened waistcoat, and with the woman that used to be brought in when +they were disposed to terrify her, went down and hid herself under a +stair-case, where she was soon discovered by her clothes, which she had +not been careful to draw in after her.' + +O, Lucy! how I wept! How insupportable to me, said Sir Charles, would +have been my reflections, had my conscience told me, that I had been the +wilful cause of the noble Clementina's calamity! + +After I had a little recovered, I read to myself the next paragraph, +which related, 'that the cruel Laurana dragged the sweet sufferer by her +gown, from her hiding-place, inveighing against her, threatening her: +she, all patient, resigned, her hands crossed on her bosom, praying for +ercy, not by speech, but by her eyes, which, however, wept not: and +causing her to be carried up to her chamber, there punished her with the +strait waistcoat, as she had threatened. + +'Father Marescotti was greatly affected with Laura's relation, as well as +with what he had himself observed: but on his return to Bologna, dreading +to acquaint her mother, for her own sake, with the treatment her +Clementina met with, he only said, he did not quite approve of it, and +advised her not to oppose the young lady's being brought home, if the +bishop and the general came into it: but he laid the whole matter before +the bishop, who wrote to the general to join with him out of hand, to +release their sister from her present bondage: and the general meeting +the bishop on a set day at Milan, for that purpose, the lady was +accordingly released. + +'A breach ensued upon it, with Lady Sforza and her daughter; who would +have it, that Clementina was much better for their management. They had +by terror broke her spirit, and her passiveness was reckoned upon as an +indication of amendment. + +'The marchioness being much indisposed, the young lady, attended by her +Camilla, was carried to Naples; where it is supposed she now is. Poor +young lady, how has she been hurried about!--But who can think of her +cousin Laurana without extreme indignation? + +'Mrs. Beaumont writes, that the bishop would fain have prevailed upon his +brother, the general, to join with him in an invitation to Sir Charles +Grandison to come over, as a last expedient, before they locked her up +either in a nunnery, or in some private house: but the general would by +no means come into it. + +'He asked, What was proposed to be the end of Sir Charles's visit, were +all that was wished from it to follow, in his sister's restored mind?--He +never, he said, would give his consent that she should be the wife of an +English Protestant. + +'The bishop declared, that he was far from wishing her to be so: but he +was for leaving that to after-consideration. Could they but restore his +sister to her reason, that reason, co-operating with her principles, +might answer all their hopes. + +'He might try his expedient, the general said, with all his heart: but he +looked upon the Chevalier Grandison to be a man of art; and he was sure +he must have entangled his sister by methods imperceptible to her, and to +them; but yet more efficacious to his ends, than an open declaration. +Had he not, he asked, found means to fascinate Olivia, and as many women +as he came into company with?--For his part, he loved not the Chevalier. +He had forced him by his intrepidity to be civil to him: but forced +civility was but a temporary one. It was his way to judge of causes by +the effects: and this he knew, that he had lost a sister, who would have +been a jewel in the crown of a prince; and would not be answerable for +consequences, if he and Sir Charles Grandison were once more to meet, be +it where it would. + +'Father Marescotti, however, joining, as the bishop writes, with him, and +the marchioness, in a desire to try this expedient; and being sure that +the marquis and Signor Jeronymo would not be averse to it, he took a +resolution to write over to him, as has been related.' + +This, Lucy, is the state of the unhappy case, as briefly and as clearly +as my memory will serve to give it. And what a rememberer, if I may make +a word, is the heart!--Not a circumstance escapes it. + +And now it remained for me to know of Sir Charles what answer he had +returned. + +Was not my situation critical, my dear? Had Sir Charles asked my +opinion, before he had taken his resolutions, I should have given it with +my whole heart, that he should fly to the comfort of the poor lady. But +then he would have shewn a suspense unworthy of Clementina; and a +compliment to me; which a good man, so circumstanced, ought not to make. + +My regard for him (yet what a poor affected word is regard!) was, +nevertheless, as strong as ever. Generosity, or rather justice, to +Clementina, and that so often avowed regard to him, pulled my heart two +ways.--I wanted to consider with myself for a few moments: I was desirous +to clear the conduct that I was to shew on this trying occasion, as well +of precipitance as of affectation; and my cousin Reeves just then coming +in for something she wanted, I took the opportunity to walk to the other +end of the room; and while a short complimental discourse passed between +them, 'Harriet Byron,' said I to myself, 'be not mean. Hast thou not the +example of a Clementina before thee? Her religion and her love, +combating together, have overturned the noble creature's reason. Tho +canst not be called to such a trial: but canst thou not shew, that if +thou wert, thou couldst have acted greatly, if not so greatly?--Sir +Charles Grandison is just: he ought to prefer to thee the excellent +Clementina. Priority of claim, compassion for the noble sufferer, merits +so superior!--I love him for his merits: shall I not love merits, nearly +as great, in one of my own sex? The struggle will cost thee something: +but go down, and try to be above thyself. Banished to thy retirement, to +thy pillow, thought I, be all the girl. Often have I contended for the +dignity of my sex; let me now be an example to myself, and not unworthy +in my own eyes (when I come to reflect) of an union, could it have been +effected, with a man whom a Clementina looked up to with hope.' + +My cousin being withdrawn, and Sir Charles approaching me, I attempted to +assume a dignity of aspect, without pride; and I spoke, while spirit was +high in me, and to keep myself up to it--My heart bleeds, sir, for the +distresses of your Clementina: [Yes, Lucy, I said your Clementina:] +beyond expression I admire the greatness of her behaviour; and most +sincerely lament her distresses. What, that is in the power of man, +cannot Sir Charles Grandison do? You have honoured me, sir, with the +title of sister. In the tenderness of that relation, permit me to say, +that I dread the effects of the general's petulance: I feel next for you +the pain that it must give to your humane heart to be once more +personally present to the woes of the inimitable Clementina: but I am +sure you did not hesitate a moment about leaving all your friends here in +England, and resolving to hasten over to try, at least, what can be done +for the noble sufferer. + +Had he praised me highly for this my address to him, it would have +looked, such was the situation on both sides, as if he had thought this +disinterested behaviour in me, an extraordinary piece of magnanimity and +self-denial; and, of consequence, as if he had supposed I had views upon +him, which he wondered I could give up. His is the most delicate of +human minds. + +He led me to my seat, and taking his by me, still holding my passive +hand--Ever since I have had the honour of Miss Byron's acquaintance, I +have considered her as one of the most excellent of women. My heart +demands alliance with hers, and hopes to be allowed its claim; though +such are the delicacies of situation, that I scarcely dare to trust +myself to speak upon the subject. From the first, I called Miss Byron my +sister; but she is more to me than the dearest sister; and there is a +more tender friendship that I aspire to hold with her, whatever may be +the accidents, on either side, to bar a further wish: and this I must +hope, that she will not deny me, so long as it shall be consistent with +her other attachments. + +He paused. I made an effort to speak: but speech was denied me. My +face, as I felt, glowed like the fire before me. + +My heart, resumed he, is ever on my lips. It is tortured when I cannot +speak all that is in it. Professions I am not accustomed to make. As I +am not conscious of being unworthy of your friendship, I will suppose it; +and further talk to you of my affairs and engagements, as that tender +friendship may warrant. + +Sir, you do me honour, was all I could say. + +I had a letter from the faithful Camilla. I hold not a correspondence +with her: but the treatment that her young lady met with, of which she +had got some general intimations, and some words that the bishop said to +her, which expressed his wishes, that I would make them one more visit at +Bologna, urged her to write, begging of me, for Heaven's sake, to go +over. But unless one of the family had written to me, and by consent of +others of it, what hope had I of a welcome, after I had been as often +refused, as I had requested while I was in Italy, to be admitted to the +presence of the lady, who was so desirous of one interview more?-- +Especially, as Mrs. Beaumont gave me no encouragement to go, but the +contrary, from what she observed of the inclinations of the family. + +Mrs. Beaumont is still of opinion, as in the conclusion of the letter +before you, that I should not go, unless the general and the marquis join +their requests to those of the marchioness, the bishop, and Father +Marescotti. But I had no sooner perused the bishop's letter, than I +wrote, that I would most cheerfully comply with his wishes: but that I +should be glad that I might not be under any obligation to go further +than Bologna; where I might have the happiness to attend my Jeronymo, as +well as his sister. + +I had a little twitch at my heart, Lucy. I was sorry for it: but my +judgment was entirely with him. + +And now, madam, you will wonder, that you see not any preparations for my +departure. All is prepared: I only wait for the company of one +gentleman, who is settling his affairs with all expedition to go with me. +He is an able, a skilful surgeon, who has had great practice abroad, and +in the armies: and having acquired an easy fortune, is come to settle in +his native country. My Jeronymo expresses himself dissatisfied with his +surgeons. If Mr. LOWTHER can be of service to him, how happy shall I +think myself! And if my presence can be a means to restore the noble +Clementina--But how dare I hope it?--And yet I am persuaded, that in her +case, and with such a temper of mind, (unused to hardship and opposition +as she had been,) the only way to recover her, would have been by +complying with her in every thing that her heart or head was earnestly +set upon: for what controul was necessary to a young lady, who never, +even in the height of her malady, uttered a wish or thought that was +contrary to her duty either to God, or her parents; nor yet to the honour +of her name; and, allow me, madam, to say, to the pride of her sex? + +I am under an obligation to go to Paris, proceeded he, from the will of +my late friend Mr. Danby. I shall stop there for a day or two only, in +order to put things in a way for my last hand, on my return from Italy. + +When I am in Italy, I shall, perhaps, be enabled to adjust two or three +accounts that stand out, in relation to the affairs of my ward. + +This day, at dinner, I shall see Mrs. Oldham, and her sons; and in the +afternoon, at tea, Mrs. O'Hara, and her husband, and Captain Salmonet. + +To-morrow, I hope for the honour of your company, madam, and Mr. and Mrs. +Reeves's at dinner; and be so good as to engage them for the rest of the +day. You must not deny me; because I shall want your influence upon +Charlotte, to make her fix Lord G----'s happy day, that I may be able to +see their hands united before I set out; as my return will be +uncertain-- + +Ah, Lucy! more twitches just then!-- + +Thursday next is the day fixed for the triple marriage of the Danby's. I +have promised to give Miss Danby to Mr. Galliard, and to dine with them +and their friends at Enfield. + +If I can see my Lord W---- and Charlotte happy before I go, I shall be +highly gratified. + +It is another of my wishes, to see my friend Beauchamp in England first, +and to leave him in possession of his father's love, and of his +mother-in-law's civility. Dr. Bartlett and he will be happy in each +other. I shall correspond with the doctor. He greatly admires you, +madam, and will communicate to you all you shall think worthy of your +notice, relating to the proceedings of a man who will always think +himself honoured by your inquiries after him. + +Ah, Lucy! Sir Charles Grandison then sighed. He seemed to look more +than he spoke. I will not promise for my heart, if he treats me with +more than the tenderness of friendship: if he gives me room to think that +he wishes--But what can he wish? He ought to be, he must be, +Clementina's: and I will endeavour to make myself happy, if I can +maintain the second place in his friendship: and when he offers me this, +shall I, Lucy, be so little as to be displeased with the man, who cannot +be to me all that I had once hoped he could be?--No!--He shall be the +same glorious creature in my eyes; I will admire his goodness of heart, +and greatness of mind; and I will think him entitled to my utmost +gratitude for the protection he gave me from a man of violence, and for +the kindness he has already shewn me. Is not friendship the basis of my +love? And does he not tender me that? + +Nevertheless, at the time, do what I could, I found a tear ready to +start. My heart was very untoward, Lucy; and I was guilty of a little +female turn. When I found the twinkling of my eyes would not disperse +the too ready drop, and felt it stealing down my cheek, I wiped it off-- +The poor Emily, said I--She will be grieved at parting with you. Emily +loves her guardian. + +And I love my ward. I once had a thought, madam, of begging your +protection of Emily: but as I have two sisters, I think she will be happy +under their wings, and in the protection of my good Lord L---- and the +rather, as I have no doubt of overcoming her unhappy mother, by making +her husband's interest a guaranty for her tolerable, if not good, +behaviour to her child. + +I was glad to carry my thoughts out of myself, as I may say, and from my +own concerns. We all, sir, said I, look upon Mr. Beauchamp as a +future-- + +Husband for Emily, madam, interrupted he?--It must not be at my motion. +My friend shall be entitled to share with me my whole estate; but I will +never seek to lead the choice of my WARD. Let Emily, some time hence, +find out the husband she can be happy with; Beauchamp the wife he can +love: Emily, if I can help it, shall not be the wife of any man's +convenience. Beauchamp is nice, and I will be as nice for my WARD. And +the more so, as I hope she herself wants not delicacy. There is a +cruelty in persuasion, where the heart rejects the person proposed, +whether the urger be parent or guardian. + +Lord bless me, thought I, what a man is this! + +Do you expect Mr. Beauchamp soon, sir? + +Every day, madam. + +And is it possible, sir, that you can bring all these things to bear +before you leave England, and go so soon? + +I fear nothing but Charlotte's whimsies. Have you, madam, any reason to +apprehend that she is averse to an alliance with Lord G----? His father +and aunt are very importunate for an early celebration. + +None at all, sir. + +Then I shall depend much upon yours, and Lord and Lady L----'s influence +over her. + +He besought my excuse for detaining my attention so long. Upon his +motion to go, my two cousins came in. He took even a solemn leave of me, +and a very respectful one of them. + +I had kept up my spirits to their utmost stretch: I besought my cousins +to excuse me for a few minutes. His departure from me was too solemn; +and I hurried up to my closet; and after a few involuntary sobs, a flood +of tears relieved me. I besought, on my knees, peace to the disturbed +mind of the excellent Clementina, calmness and resignation to my own, and +safety to Sir Charles. And then, drying my eyes at the glass, I went +down stairs to my cousins; and on their inquiries (with looks of deep +concern) after the occasion of my red eyes, I said, All is over! All is +over! my dear cousins. I cannot blame him: he is all that is noble and +good--I can say no more just now. The particulars you shall have from my +pen. + +I went up stairs to write: and except for one half hour at dinner, and +another at tea, I stopt not till I had done. + +And here, quite tired, uneasy, vexed with myself, yet hardly knowing why, +I lay down my pen.--Take what I have written, cousin Reeves: if you can +read it, do: and then dispatch it to my Lucy. + +But, on second thoughts, I will shew it to the two ladies, and Lord +L----, before it is sent away. They will be curious to know what passed +in a conversation, where the critical circumstances both of us were in, +required a delicacy which I am not sure was so well observed on my side, +as on his. + +I shall, I know, have their pity: but let nobody who pities not the noble +Clementina shew any for + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY NIGHT, APRIL 4. + + + +Miss Grandison came to me just as we had supped. She longed, she said, +to see me; but was prevented coming before, and desired to know what had +passed between her brother and me this morning. I gave her the letter, +which I had but a little while before concluded. He had owned, she said, +that he had breakfasted with me, and spoke of me to her, and Lord and +Lady L---- with an ardor, that gave them pleasure. She put my letter +into her bosom. I may, I hope, Harriet--If you please, madam, said I. + +If you please, madam, repeated she; and with that do-lo-rous accent too, +my Harriet!--My sister and I have been in tears this morning: Lord L---- +had much ado to forbear. Sir Charles will soon leave us. + +It can't be helped, Charlotte. Did you dine to-day in St. +James's-square? + +No, indeed!--My brother had a certain tribe with him; and the woman also. +It is very difficult, I believe, Harriet, for good people to forbear +doing sometimes more than goodness requires of them. + +Could you not, Charlotte, have sat at table with them for one hour or +two? + +My brother did not ask me. He did not expect it. He gives every body +their choice, you know. He told me last night who were to dine with him +to-day, and supposed I would choose to dine with Lady L----, or with you, +he was so free as to say. + +He did us an honour, which you thought too great a one. But if he had +asked you, Charlotte-- + +Then I should have bridled. Indeed, I asked him, if he did not over-do +it? + +What was his answer? + +Perhaps he might--But I, said he, may never see Mrs. Oldham again. I +want to inform myself of her future intentions, with a view (over-do it +again, Charlotte!) to make her easy and happy for life. Her children are +in the world. I want to give her a credit that will make her remembered +by them, as they grow up, with duty. I hope I am superior to forms. She +is conscious. I can pity her. She is a gentlewoman; and entitled to a +place at any man's table to whom she never was a servant. She never was +mine. + +And what, Miss Grandison, could you say in answer? asked I. + +What!--Why I put up my lip. + +Ungracious girl! + +I can't help it. That may become a man to do in such cases as this, that +would not a woman. + +Sir Charles wants not delicacy, my dear, said I. + +He must suppose, that I should have sat swelling, and been reserved: he +was right not to ask me--So be quiet, Harriet--And yet, perhaps, you +would be as tame to a husband's mistress, as you seem favourable to a +father's. + +She then put on one of her arch looks-- + +The cases differ, Charlotte--But do you know what passed between the +generous man, and the mortified woman and her children; mortified as they +must be by his goodness? + +Yes, yes; I had curiosity enough to ask Dr. Bartlett about it all. + +Pray, Charlotte-- + +Dr. Bartlett is favourable to every body, sinners as well as saints--He +began with praising the modesty of her dress, the humility of her +behaviour: he said, that she trembled and looked down, till she was +reassured by Sir Charles. Such creatures have all their tricks, Harriet. + +You, Charlotte, are not favourable to sinners, and hardly to saints. But +pray proceed. + +Why, he re-assured the woman, as I told you. And then proceeded to ask +many questions of the elder Oldham--I pitied that young fellow--to have a +mother in his eye, whose very tenderness to the young ones kept alive the +sense of her guilt. And yet what would she have been, had she not been +doubly tender to the innocents, who were born to shame from her fault? +The young man acknowledged a military genius; and Sir Charles told him, +that he would, on his return from a journey he was going to take, +consider whether he could not do him service in the way he chose. He +gave him, it seems, a brief lecture on what he should aim to be, and what +avoid, to qualify himself for a man of true honour; and spoke very +handsomely of such gentlemen of the army as are real gentlemen. The +young fellow, continued Miss Grandison, may look upon himself to be as +good as provided for, since my brother never gives the most distant hope +that is not followed by absolute certainty, the first opportunity, not +that offers, but which he can make. + +He took great notice of the little boys. He dilated their hearts, and +set them a prating; and was pleased with their prate. The doctor, who +had never seen him before in the company of children, applauded him for +his vivacity, and condescending talk to them. The tenderest father in +the world, he said, could not have behaved more tenderly, or shewed +himself more delighted with his own children, than he did with those +brats of Mrs. Oldham. + +Ah, Charlotte! And is it out of doubt, that you are the daughter of Lady +Grandison, and sister of Sir Charles Grandison?--Well, but I believe you +are--Some children take after the father, some after the mother!--Forgive +me, my dear. + +But I won't. I have a great mind to quarrel with you, Harriet. + +Pray don't; because I could neither help, nor can be sorry for, what I +said. But pray proceed. + +Why, he made presents to the children. I don't know what they were; nor +could the doctor tell me. I suppose very handsome ones; for he has the +spirit of a prince. He inquired very particularly after the circumstances +of the mother; and was more kind to her than many people would be to +their own mothers.--He can account for this, I suppose--though I cannot. +The woman, it is true, is of a good family, and so forth: but that +enhances her crime. Natural children abound in the present age. Keeping +is fashionable. Good men should not countenance such wretches.--But my +brother and you are charitable creatures!--With all my heart, child. +Virtue, however, has at least as much to say on one side of the question +as on the other. + +When the poor children are in the world, as your brother said--When the +poor women are penitents, true penitents--Your brother's treatment of +Mrs. Giffard was different. He is in both instances an imitator of the +Almighty; a humbler of the impenitent, and an encourager of those who +repent. + +Well, well; he is undoubtedly a good sort of young man; and, Harriet, you +are a good sort of young woman. Where much is given, much is required: +but I have not given me such a large quantity of charity, as either of +you may boast: and how can I help it?--But, however, the woman went away +blessing and praising him; and that, the doctor says, more with her eyes +than she was able to do in words. The elder youth departed in rapturous +reverence: the children hung about his knees, on theirs. The doctor will +have it, that it was without bidding--Perhaps so--He raised them by turns +to his arms, and kissed them.--Why, Harriet! your eyes glisten, child. +They would have run over, I suppose, had you been there! Is it, that +your heart is weakened with your present situation? I hope not. No, you +are a good creature! And I see that the mention of a behaviour greatly +generous, however slightly made, will have its force upon a heart so +truly benevolent as yours. You must be Lady Grandison, my dear: indeed +you must.--Well, but I must be gone. You dine with us to-morrow, my +brother says? + +He did ask me; and desired me to engage my cousins. But he repeated not +the invitation when he went away. + +He depends upon your coming: and so do we. He is to talk to me before +you, it seems: I can't tell about what: but by his hurrying on every +thing, it is plain he is preparing to leave us. + +He is, madam. + +'He is, madam!' And with that dejected air, and mendicant voice--Speak +up like a woman!--The sooner he sets out, if he must go, the sooner he +will return. Come, come, Harriet, you shall be Lady Grandison still--Ah! +and that sigh too! These love-sick folks have a language that nobody +else can talk to them in: and then she affectedly sighed--Is that right, +Harriet?--She sighed again--No, it is not: I never knew what a sigh was, +but when my father vexed my sister; and that was more for fear he should +one day be as cruel to me, than for her sake. We can be very generous +for others, Harriet, when we apprehend that one day we may want the same +pity ourselves. Our best passions, my dear, have their mixtures of +self-love. + +You have drawn a picture of human nature, Charlotte, that I don't like. + +It is a likeness for all that. + +She arose, snatched my hand, hurried to the door--Be with us, Harriet, +and cousin Reeves, and cousin Reeves, as soon as you can to-morrow. I +want to talk to you, my dear (to me) of an hundred thousand things before +dinner. Remember we dine early. + +Away she fluttered--Happy Miss Grandison! What charming spirits she has! + + + +LETTER XIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5. + + +Miss Jervois came to me this morning by six; impatient, as she said, to +communicate good news to me. I was in my closet writing. I could not +sleep. + +I have seen my mother, said she; and we are good friends. Was she ever +unkind to me, madam? + +Dear creature! said I, and clasped her to my bosom, you are a sweet girl! +Oblige me with the particulars. + +Let me, Lucy, give you, as near as I can recollect, the amiable young +creature's words and actions on this occasion. + +Sit down, my love, said I.--What! When I am talking of a reconciled +mother! And to dear Miss Byron!--No, indeed. + +She often held out one open hand, while the forefinger of the other, in +full action, patted it; as at other times both were spread, with pretty +wonder and delight: and thus she began:-- + +Why, you must know, it was about six o'clock yesterday afternoon, that my +mother and her husband, and Captain Salmonet, came. I was told of their +visit but two hours before: and when the coach stopped, and I at the +window saw them alight, I thought I should have fainted away. I would +have given half I was worth in the world to have been an hundred miles +off. + +Dr. Bartlett was there, and received them. My guardian was unexpectedly +engaged in answering a letter sent him by Lord W----, for which a +gentleman waited: but they had not been there a quarter of an hour, when +he entered, and made apologies to them in his usual gracious manner. +Never, the doctor says, did any body look so respectful as the major and +the captain; and they would have made apologies to my guardian, for their +last behaviour to him; but he would not let them. And my mother, the +doctor says, from the very first, behaved prettily. + +The moment she asked for me, my guardian himself condescended to come up +to me, and took my hand--Was not that very good of him?--My dear, said +he, as he led me down stairs, (and spoke so kindly,) don't tremble so: am +I not with you?--Your mother is very calm and composed: you must ask her +blessing. I shall ease your tender heart of every pang. I shall hint to +you what to do, and how to behave to the gentlemen, as occasions arise. + +He had no sooner said the words, but the drawing-room door gave way to +his hand, and I was in the room with him. + +Down on my knees dropt I--as I now do to you: but I could not speak. +Thus I did. [And she kissed my hand, and bowed her face upon it.] And +my mother raised me--You must raise me, madam--Yes, just so--And she +kissed me too, and wept on my neck; and called me pretty names; and +encouraged me, and said she loved me, as she loved her own soul--And I +was encouraged. + +My guardian then, with the air and manner of a gracious prince, took my +hand, and presented it first to the major, then to the captain; and they +each kissed my hand, and spoke in my praise, I can't tell how many fine +things. + +Major, said my guardian, when he presented me to him, you must excuse the +dear child's weakness of spirits: she wishes you all happiness on your +nuptials: she has let me know, that she is very desirous to do you +service for her mother's sake. + +The major swore by his soul, I was an angel!--Captain Salmonet said, +that, by his salvation, I was a charming young lady! + +My mother wept--O, Sir! said she to my guardian: and dropping down in a +chair by the window, not a word more could she speak. + +I ran to her, and clasped my arms about her. She wept the more: I wiped +her eyes with her own handkerchief: I told her, it went to my heart to +see her cry: I begged she would spare me this grief. + +She clasped her arms then about me, and kissed my cheek, and my forehead. +O, thought I, it is very good of you, my dear mother. + +Then came my guardian to us, and he kindly took my mother's hand, and +conducted her to the fire-side; and he led me, and placed me by her, at +the tea-table; and he made the major and the captain sit down by him: so +much graciousness in his countenance. O, madam! I shall be an idolater, +I am afraid. And he said, Emily, my dear, you will make tea for us. My +sister dined abroad, madam, to my mother.--Yes, sir, I will, said I: and +I was as lively as a bird. + +But before the servants came in, Let me tell you, madam, said he, what +Miss Jervois has proposed to me.--They were in silent expectation. + +She has desired that you, major, will accept from her, for your mutual +use, of an additional 100L. a year; which I shall order to be paid you +quarterly, during Mrs. O'Hara's life, not doubting but you will make her +as happy as it is in your power to make her. + +My mother bowed, coloured with gratitude, and looked obliged. + +And she begs of you, madam, turning to my mother, that you will accept, +as from the Major, another 100L. a year, for pin-money, which he, or +which you, madam, will draw upon me for; also quarterly, if you choose +not to trouble him to do it: for this 100L. a year must be appropriated +to your sole and separate use, madam; and not be subject to your +controul, Major O'Hara. + +Good God! sir! said the Major!--What a wretch was I, the last time I was +here!--There is no bearing of this! + +He got up, and went to the window: and the captain said, Blessed Jesu! +and something else, which I could not mind; for I was weeping like a +baby. + +What, sir! said my mother, 400L. a year! Do you mean so?--I do, madam-- +And, sir, to be so generously paid me my 100L. of it, as if I received it +not from my child, but from my husband!--Good God! How you overpower me, +sir! What shame, what remorse, do you strike into my heart! + +And my poor mother's tears ran down as fast as mine. + +O madam, said the dear girl to me, clasping her arms about me, how your +tender heart is touched!--It is well you were not there! + +Dr. Bartlett came in to tea. My guardian would not permit Antony, who +offered himself, to wait. Antony had been my own papa's servant, when my +mother was not so good. + +Nothing but blessings, nothing but looks and words of admiration and +gratitude, passed all the tea-time. How their hearts rejoiced, I +warrant!--Is it not a charming thing, madam, to make people's hearts +glad?--To be sure it is! How many hearts has my guardian rejoiced! You +must bid him be cross to me, or I shall not know what to do with myself! +--But then, if he was, I should only get by myself, and cry, and be angry +with myself, and think he could not be to blame. + +O my love, my Emily! said I, take care of your gratitude: that drew in +your true friend. + +Well, but how can it be helped, madam? Can a right heart be ungrateful? +--Dr. Bartlett says, There is no such thing as true happiness in this +life: and is it not better to be unhappy from good men and women, than +from bad?--Dear madam, why you have often made me unhappy, because of +your goodness to me; and because I knew, that I neither could deserve nor +return it. + +The dear prater went on--My guardian called me aside, when tea was over. +My Emily, said he, [I do love he should call me his Emily!--But all the +world is his Emily, I think,] Let me see what you will do with these two +notes; giving me two bank-notes of 25L. each.--Present pin-money and cash +may be wanted. We will suppose that your mother has been married a +quarter of a year. Her pin-money and the additional annuity may commence +from the 25th of December last. Let me, Emily, when they go away, see +the graceful manner in which you will dispose of the notes: and from Mr. +O'Hara's behaviour upon it, we shall observe whether he is a man with +whom your mother, if it be not her own fault, (now you have made it their +interest to be kind to each other,) may live well: but the motion be all +your own. + +How good this was! I could have kissed the hand that gave me the notes, +if I thought it would not have looked too free. + +I understand you, sir, said I. + +And when they went away, pouring out their very hearts in grateful joy, I +addressed myself to Mr. O'Hara. Sir, said I, it is proper that the +payment of the additional annuity should have a commencement. Let it be +from Christmas last. Accept of the first payment from my own hands--And +I gave him one 25L. note: and looking at my mother, with a look of duty, +for fear be should mistake, and discredit himself in the eyes of the +deepest discerner in the world, gave him the other. + +He looked upon first one, then upon the other note with surprise--And +then bowing to the ground to me, and to my guardian, he stept to my +mother, and presented them both to her. You, madam, said he, must speak: +I cannot as I ought: God send me with a whole heart out of this house! +He hurried out, and when he was in the hall, wiped his eyes, and sobbed +like a child, as one of the servants told my Anne. + +My mother looked upon one note as her husband had done, and upon the +other; and, lifting up her eyes, embraced me--And would have said +something to my guardian, but he prevented her, by saying--Emily will be +always dutiful to you, madam, and respectful to Mr. O'Hara: may you be +happy together! + +And he led her out--Was ever such a condescension! He led her out to her +husband, who, being a little recovered, was just about to give some money +to the servant, who was retiring from the offer.--Nobody, said my +guardian, graciously smiling, pays my servants but myself, Mr. O'Hara. +They are good people, and merit my favour. + +And he went to the very door with my mother. I could not. I ran back, +crying for joy, into the drawing-room, when they went out of it. I could +not bear myself. How could I, you know, madam?--Captain Salmonet all the +time wiped his eyes, shrugged his shoulders, lifted up his hands, and +cried out upon Jesu; and once or twice he crossed himself: but all the +time my guardian looked and acted, as if those actions and praises were +nothing to be proud of. + +When he came in to me, I arose, and threw myself at his feet; but could +only say, Thank you, sir, for your goodness to my mother. He raised me. +He sat down by me: See, child, (said he, and he took my hand: my heart +was sensible of the favour, and throbbed with joy,) what it is in the +power of people of fortune to do. You have a great one. Now your mother +is married, I have hopes of her. They will at least keep up appearances +to each other, and to the world. They neither of them want sense. You +have done an act of duty and benevolence both in one. The man who would +grudge them this additional 200L. a year out of your fortune, to make +your parent happy, shall not have my Emily--Shall he? + +Your Emily, your happy Emily, sir, has not, cannot have a heart that is +worth notice, if it be not implicitly guided by you.--This I said, madam: +and it is true. + +And did he not, said I, clasp his Emily to his generous bosom, when you +said so? + +No, madam; that would have been too great an honour: but he called me, +good child! and said, you shall never be put to pay me an implicit +regard: your own reason (and he called me child again) shall always be +the judge of my conduct to you, and direct your observances of my advice. +Something like this he said; but in a better manner than I can say it. + +He calls me oftener child, madam, than any thing else when we are alone +together; and is not quite so free, I think, at such times, in his +behaviour to me, (yet is vastly gracious, I don't know how,) as when we +are in company--Why is that? I am sure, I equally respect him, at one +time as at another--Do you think, madam, there is any thing in the +observation? Is there any reason for it?--I do love to study him, and to +find out the meaning of his very looks as well as words. Sir Charles +Grandison's heart is the book of heaven--May I not study it? + +Study it, my love! while you have an opportunity. But he will soon leave +us: he will soon leave England. + +So I fear: and I will love and pity the poor Clementina, whose heart is +so much wounded and oppressed. But my guardian shall be nobody's but +yours. I have prayed night and day, the first thing and the last thing, +ever since I have heard of Lady Clementina, that you, and nobody but you, +may be Lady Grandison: and I will continue my prayers.--But will you +forgive me: I always conclude them with praying, that you will both +consent to let the poor Emily live with you. + +Sweet girl! The poor Emily, said she?--I embraced her, and we mingled +tears, both our hearts full, each for the other; and each perhaps for +herself. + +She hurried away. I resumed my pen.--Run off what had passed, almost as +swift as thought. I quit it to prepare to attend my cousins to St. +James's-square. + + + +LETTER XIV + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY NIGHT, APRIL 5. + + +Miss Grandison, as I told you, took with her my letter of yesterday. As +soon as my cousin Reeves and I entered Sir Charles's house, the two +sisters conducted us into the drawing-room adjoining to the +dining-parlour, and congratulated me on the high compliment their brother +had made me, though in preference to themselves, and his +communicativeness and tender behaviour to me. Lord L---- joined us, and +he, having read the letter, congratulated me also--On what, Lucy?--Why on +the possibility, that if the unhappy Clementina should die; or if she +should be buried for life in a nunnery; or if she should be otherwise +disposed of; why then, that your Harriet may have room given her to hope +for a civil husband in Sir Charles Grandison, and half a heart: Is not +this the sum of these humbling congratulations? + +Sir Charles, when we came, was in his study with Mr. Lowther, the surgeon +whom he had engaged to go abroad with him: but he just came out to +welcome us; and then returned.--He had also with him two physicians, +eminent for their knowledge in disorders of the head, to whom he had +before communicated the case of the unhappy Clementina; and who brought +to him in writing their opinions of the manner in which she ought to be +treated, according to the various symptoms of her disorder. + +When he joined us, he told us this; and said very high things at the same +time in praise of the English surgeons; and particularly of this +gentleman: and added, that as nervous disorders were more frequent in +England, than in any country in the world, he was willing to hope, that +the English physicians were more skilful than those of any other country +in the management of persons afflicted with such maladies: and as he was +now invited over, he was determined to furnish himself with all the means +he could think of, that were likely to be useful in restoring and healing +friends so dear to him. + +Miss Grandison told him, that we were all in some apprehensions, on his +going to ltaly, of that fierce and wrong-headed man the general. Miss +Byron, said she, has told us, that Mrs. Beaumont advises not your going +over. + +The young Marquis della Porretta, said he, is hasty; but he is a gallant +man, and loves his sister. His grief on the unhappy situation they are +in demands allowance. It is natural in a heavy calamity to look out of +ourselves for the occasion. I have not any apprehensions from him, or +from any body else. The call upon me is a proper one. The issue must be +left where it ought to be left. If my visit will give comfort to any one +of the family, I shall be rewarded: If to more than one, happy--And, +whatever be the event, shall be easier in myself, than I could be, were I +not to comply with the request of the bishop, were he only to have made +it. + +Lord L---- asked Sir Charles, whether he had fixed the day of his setting +out? + +I have, said he, within this half hour. Mr. Lowther has told me, that he +shall be ready by the beginning of next week; and on Saturday sennight I +hope to be at Dover, on my way. + +We looked upon one another. Miss Grandison told me afterwards, that my +colour went and came several times, and that she was afraid for me. My +heart was indeed a little affected. I believe I must not think of taking +leave of him when he sets out. Ah, Lucy! Nine days hence!--Yet, in less +than nine days after that, I shall be embraced by the tenderest relations +that ever creature had to boast of. + +Sir Charles taking his sister aside, I want, said he, to say a few words +to you, Charlotte. They were about half an hour together; and then +returning, I am encouraged to think, said he, that Charlotte will give +her hand to Lord G----. She is a woman of honour, and her heart must +therefore go with it.--I have a request to make to her, before all you +our common friends--The Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, Lord G----, all +join in one suit: it is, that I may be allowed to give my sister to Lord +G---- before I leave England. + +I have told you, brother, that it is impossible, if you go away in nine +or ten days time. + +Sir Charles particularly requested my influence. I could have no doubt, +I said, but Miss Grandison would oblige her brother. + +She vehemently opposed so early a day. + +In a most affectionate manner, yet with an air of seriousness, he urged +his request. He said, that it was very proper for him to make some +dispositions of his affairs before he went abroad. He should leave +England with much more pleasure, if he saw his Charlotte the wife of a +man so worthy as Lord G----: Lord G----, said he, adores you: You +intended to be his: Resolve to oblige your brother, who, though he cannot +be happy himself, wishes to see you so. + +O, Sir Charles! said she, you ruin me by your solemnity, and by your +goodness. + +The subject is not a light one. I am greatly in earnest, Charlotte. I +have many affairs on my hands. My heart is in this company; yet my +engagements will permit me but few opportunities to enjoy it between this +and Tuesday next. If you deny me now, I must acquiesce: If you have more +than punctilio to plead, say you have; and I will not urge you farther. + +And so this is the last time of asking, sir? A little archly-- + +Not the last time of my Lord G----'s, but of mine--But I will not allow +you now to answer me lightly. If you can name a day before Tuesday, you +will greatly oblige me. I will leave you to consider of it. And he +withdrew. + +Every one then urged her to oblige her brother. Lady L---- very +particularly. She told her, that he was entitled to her compliance; and +that he had spoken to her on this subject in a still more earnest manner. +She should hardly be able to excuse her, she said, if the serious hint he +had given about settling his affairs before he went abroad, had not +weight with her. You know, Charlotte, continued she, that he can have no +motive but your good; and you have told me, that you intend to have Lord +G----; and that you esteem his father, his aunt, and every one of his +family, whom you have seen; and they are all highly pleased with you. +Settlements are already drawn: that my brother told you last night. +Nothing is wanting but your day. + +I wish he was in half the hurry to be married himself. + +So he would be, I dare say, if marriage were as much in his power, as it +is in yours. + +What a deuse, to be married to a man in a week's time, with whom I have +quarrelled every day for a fortnight past!--Pride and petulance must go +down by degrees, sister. A month, at least, is necessary, to bring my +features to such a placidness with him, as to allow him to smile in my +face. + +Your brother has hinted, Charlotte, said I, that he loves you for your +vivacity; and should still more, if you consulted time and occasion. + +He has withdrawn, sister, said Lord L----, with a resolution, if you deny +him, to urge you no further. + +I hate his peremptoriness. + +Has he not told you, Charlotte, said I, and that in a manner so serious, +as to affect every body, that there is a kind of necessity for it? + +I don't love this Clementina, Harriet: all this is owing to her. + +Just then a rapping at the door signified visitors; and Emily ran in-- +Lord G----, the Earl, and Lady Gertrude, believe me! + +Miss Grandison changed colour. A contrivance of my brother's!--Ah, Lord! +Now shall I be beset!--I will be sullen, that I may not be saucy. + +Sullen you can't be, Charlotte, said Lady L----: but saucy you can. +Remember, however, my brother's earnestness, and spare Lord G---- before +his father and aunt, or you will give me, and every body, pain. + +How can I? Our last quarrel is not made up: but advise him not to be +either impertinent or secure. + +Immediately enter'd Sir Charles, introducing the Earl and Lady Gertrude. +After the first compliments, Pray, Sir Charles, said Miss Grandison, +drawing him aside, towards me, and whispering, tell me truly: Did you not +know of this visit? + +I invited them, Charlotte, whispered he. I meant not however to surprise +you. If you comply, you will give me great pleasure: if you do not, I +will not be dis-pleased with my sister. + +What can I do? Either be less good to me, sir, or less hurrying. + +You have sacrificed enough to female punctilio, Charlotte. Lord G---- +has been a zealous courtier. You have no doubt of the ardor of his +passion, nor of your own power. Leave the day to me. Let it be Tuesday +next. + +Good heaven! I can't bear you, after such a--and she gasped, as if for +breath; and he turning from her to me, she went to Lady Gertrude, who, +rising, took her hand, and withdrew with her into the next room. + +They staid out till they were told dinner was served: and when they +returned, I thought I never saw Miss Grandison look so lovely. A +charming flush had overspread her cheeks: a sweet consciousness in her +eyes gave a female grace to her whole aspect, and softened, as I may say, +the natural majesty of her fine features. + +Lord G---- looked delighted, as if his heart were filled with happy +presages. The earl seemed no less pleased. + +Miss Grandison was unusually thoughtful all dinnertime: she gave me great +joy to see her so, in the hope, that when the lover becomes the husband, +the over-lively mistress will be sunk in the obliging wife.--And yet, +now and then, as the joy in my lord's heart overflowed at his lips, I +could observe that archness rising to her eye, that makes one both love +and fear her. + +After dinner, the Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude desired a conference +with Sir Charles and Lady L----. They were not long absent, when Sir +Charles came in, and carried out Miss Grandison to them. Lord G----'s +complexion varied often. + +Sir Charles left them together, and joined us. We were standing; and he +singled me out--I hope, madam, said he, that Charlotte may be prevailed +upon for Tuesday next: but I will not urge it further. + +I thought that he was framing himself to say something particular to me, +when Lady L---- came in, and desired him and me to step to her sister, +who had retired from the Earl and Lady Gertrude, by consent. + +Ah, my Harriet! said she, pity me, my dear!--Debasement is the child of +pride!--Then turning to Sir Charles, I acknowledge myself overcome, said +she, by your earnestness, as you are so soon to leave us; and by the +importunities of the Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, and my sister-- +Unprepared in mind, in clothes, I am resolved to oblige the best of +brothers. Do you, sir, dispose of me as you think fit. + +My sister consents, sir, said Lady L----, for next Tuesday. + +Cheerfully, I hope. If Charlotte balances whether, if she took more +time, she should have Lord G---- at all, let her take it. Lord L----, in +my absence, will be to her all that I wish to be, when she shall +determine. + +I balance not, sir: but I thought to have had a month's time, at least, +to look about me, and having treated Lord G---- too flippantly, to give +him by degrees some fairer prospects of happiness with me, than hitherto +he has had. + +Sir Charles embraced her. She was all his sister, he said. Let the +alteration now begin. Lord G---- would rejoice in it, and consider all +that had passed, as trials only of his love for her. The obliging wife +would banish from his remembrance the petulant mistress. And now, allow +me, my dear sister, to present you to the Earl and Lady Gertrude. + +He led her in to them. Lady L---- took my hand, and led me in also.-- +Charlotte, my lord, yields to yours and Lady Gertrude's importunities. +Next Tuesday will give the two families a near and tender relation to +each other. + +The earl saluted her in a very affectionate manner: so did Lady Gertrude; +who afterwards ran out for her nephew: and, leading him in, presented him +to Miss Grandison. + +She had just time to whisper me, as he approached her; Ah, Harriet! now +comes the worst part of the show.--He kneeled on one knee, kissed her +hand: but was too much overjoyed to speak; for Lady Gertrude had told +him, as she led him in, that Tuesday was to be his happy day. + +It is impossible, Lucy, but Sir Charles Grandison must carry every point +he sets his heart upon. When he shall appear before the family of +Porretta in Italy, who will be able to withstand him?--Is not his +consequence doubled, more than doubled, since he was with them? The man +whose absence they requested, they now invite to come among them. They +have tried every experiment to restore their Clementina: he has a noble +estate now in possession. The fame of his goodness is gone out to +distant countries. O my dear! All opposition must fly before him. And +if it be the will of Heaven to restore Clementina, all her friends must +concur in giving her to him upon the terms he has proposed; and from +which, having himself proposed them, Sir Charles Grandison cannot recede. + +His heart, it is evident, is at Bologna. Well, and so it ought to be. +And yet I could not forbear being sensibly touched by the following +words, which I overheard him say to Lord L----, in answer to something my +lord said to him: + +'I am impatient to be abroad. Had I not waited for Mr. Lowther, the last +letters I received from Italy should have been answered in person.' + +But as honour, compassion, love, friendship (still nobler than love!) +have demands upon him, let him obey the call. He has set me high in his +esteem. Let me be worthy of his friendship. Pangs I shall occasionally +feel; but who that values one person above the rest of the world, does +not? + +Sir Charles, as we sat at tea, mentioned his cousin Grandison to Lord +L----: It is strange, my lord, said he, that we hear nothing of our +cousin Everard, since he was seen at White's. But whenever he emerges, +Charlotte, if I am absent, receive him without reproaches: yet I should +be glad that he could have rejoiced with us. Must I leave England, and +not see him? + +It has been, it seems, the way of this unhappy man, to shut himself up +with some woman in private lodgings, for fear his cousin should find him +out; and in two or three months, when he has been tired of his wicked +companion, emerge, as Sir Charles called it, to notice, and then seek for +his cousin's favour and company, and live for as many more months in a +state of contrition. And Sir Charles, in his great charity, believes, +that till some new temptation arises, he is in earnest in his penitence; +and hopes, that in time he will see his errors. + +Oh, Lucy! What a poor creeping, mean wretch is a libertine, when one +looks down upon him, and up to such a glorious creature as Sir Charles +Grandison! + +Sir Charles was led to talk of his engagement for to-morrow, on the +triple marriage in the Danby family. We all gave him joy of the happy +success that had rewarded his beneficent spirit, with regard to that +family. He gave us the characters of the three couples greatly to their +advantage, and praised the families on both sides, which were to be so +closely united on the morrow; not forgetting to mention kindly honest Mr. +Sylvester the attorney. + +He told us, that he should set out on Friday early for Windsor, in order +to attend Lord W---- in his first visit to Mansfield-house. You, Lady +L----, will have the trouble given you, said he, of procuring to be +new-set the jewels of the late Lady W---- for a present to the future +bride. My lord shewed them to me (among a great number of other valuable +trinkets of his late wife's) in my last return from the Hall. They are +rich, and will do credit to his quality. You, my Lord L----, you, my +sisters, will be charmed with your new aunt, and her whole family. I +have joy on the happiness in prospect that will gild the latter days of +my mother's brother; and at the same time be a means of freeing from +oppression an ancient and worthy family. + +Tears were in every eye. There now, thought I, sits this princely man, +rejoicing every one who sees him, and hears him speak: But where will he +be nine days hence? And whose this day twelvemonth? + +He talked with particular pleasure of the expected arrival of his +Beauchamp. He pleased himself, that he should leave behind him a man who +would delight every body, and supply to his friends his absence.--What a +character did he give, and Dr. Bartlett confirm, of that amiable friend +of his! + +How did the Earl and Lady Gertrude dwell upon all he said! They prided +themselves on the relation they were likely so soon to stand in to so +valuable a man. + +In your last letter, you tell me, Lucy, that Mr. Greville has the +confidence to throw out menaces against this excellent man--Sorry wretch! +--How my heart rises against him!--He--But no more of such an earth-born +creature. + + + +LETTER XV + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +THURSDAY MORNING, APRIL 6. + + +Miss Grandison, accompanied by Miss Jervois, has just left us. Lady +L---- has undertaken, she says, to set all hands at work, to have things +in tolerable order, early as the day is, for Tuesday next. Miss +Grandison (would you believe it?) owns, that she wants spirits to order +anything. What must be the solemnity of that circumstance, when near, +that shall make Charlotte Grandison want spirits? + +She withdrew with me to my apartment. She threw herself into a chair: +'Tis a folly to deny it, Harriet, but I am very low, and very silly: I +don't like next Tuesday by any means. + +Is your objection only to the day, my dear? + +I do not like the man. + +Is there any man whom you like better? + +I can't say that neither. But this brother of mine makes me think +contemptibly of all other men. I would compound for a man but half so +good--Tender, kind, humane, polite, and even cheerful in affliction!--O, +Harriet! where is there such another man? + +No where.--But you don't by marriage lose, on the contrary, you further +engage and secure, the affection of this brother. You will have a +good-natured worthy man for your husband; a man who loves you, and you +will have your brother besides. + +Do you think I can be happy with Lord G----? + +I am sure you may, if it be not your own fault. + +That's the thing: I may, perhaps, bear with the man; but I cannot honour +him. + +Then don't vow to honour him. Don't meet him at the altar. + +Yet I must. But I believe I think too much: and consideration is no +friend to wedlock.--Would to Heaven that the same hour that my hand and +Lord G----'s were joined, yours and my brother's were also united! + +Ah, Miss Grandison! If you love me, try to wean me; and not to encourage +hopes of what never, never can be. + +Dear creature! You will be greater than Clementina, and that is greater +than the greatest, if you can conquer a passion, that overturned her +reason. + +Do not, my Charlotte, make comparisons in which the conscience of your +Harriet tells her she must be a sufferer. There is no occasion for me to +despise myself, in order to hold myself inferior to Clementina. + +Well, you are a noble creature!--But, the approaching Tuesday--I cannot +bear to think of it. + +Dear Charlotte! + +And dear Harriet too!--But the officiousness, the assiduities, of this +trifling man are disgustful to me. + +You don't hate him?-- + +Hate him--True--I don't hate him--But I have been so much accustomed to +treat him like a fool, that I can't help thinking him one. He should not +have been so tame to such a spirit as mine. He should have been angry +when I played upon him. I have got a knack of it, and shall never leave +it off, that's certain. + +Then I hope he will be angry with you. I hope that he will resent your +ill-treatment of him. + +Too late, too late to begin, Harriet. I won't take it of him now. He +has never let me see that his face can become two sorts of features. The +poor man can look sorrowful; that I know full well: but I shall always +laugh when he attempts to look angry. + +You know better, Charlotte. You may give him so much cause for anger, +that you may make it habitual to him, and then would be glad to see him +pleased. Men have an hundred ways that women have not to divert +themselves abroad, when they cannot be happy at home. This I have heard +observed by-- + +By your grandmother, Harriet? Good old lady! In her reign it might be +so; but you will find, that women now have as many ways to divert +themselves abroad as the men. Have you not observed this yourself in one +of your letters to Lucy? Ah! my dear! we can every hour of the +twenty-four be up with our monarchs, if they are undutiful. + +But Charlotte Grandison will not, cannot-- + +Why that's true, my dear--But I shall not then be a Grandison. Yet the +man will have some security from my brother's goodness. He is not only +good himself, but he makes every one related to him, either from fear or +shame, good likewise. But I think that when one week or fortnight is +happily over, and my spirits are got up again from the depression into +which this abominable hurry puts them, I could fall upon some inventions +that would make every-one laugh, except the person who might take it into +his head that he may be a sufferer by them: and who can laugh, and be +angry, in the same moment? + +You should not marry, Charlotte, till this wicked vein of humour and +raillery is stopt. + +I hope it will hold me till fifty. + +Don't say so, Charlotte--Say rather that you hope it will hold you so +long only as it may be thought innocent or inoffensive, by the man whom +it will be your duty to oblige, and so long as it will bring no discredit +to yourself. + +Your servant, Goody Gravity!--But what must be, must. The man is bound +to see it. It will be all his own seeking. He will sin with his eyes +open. I think he has seen enough of me to take warning. All that I am +concerned about is for the next week or fortnight. He will be king all +that time--Yet, perhaps not quite all neither. And I shall be his +sovereign ever after, or I am mistaken. What a deuse, shall a woman +marry a man of talents not superior to her own, and forget to reward +herself for her condescension?--But, high-ho!--There's a sigh, Harriet. +Were I at home, I would either sing you a song, or play you a tune, in +order to raise my own heart. + +She besought me then, with great earnestness, to give her my company till +the day arrived, and on the day. You see, said she, that my brother has +engagements till Monday. Dear creature! support, comfort me--Don't you +see my heart beat through my stays?--If you love me, come to me to-morrow +to breakfast; and leave me not for the whole time--Are you not my sister, +and the friend of my heart? I will give you a month for it, upon demand. +Come, let us go down; I will ask the consent of both your cousins. + +She did: and they, with their usual goodness to me, cheerfully complied. + +Sir Charles set out this morning to attend the triple marriages; dressed +charmingly, his sister says. I have made Miss Grandison promise to give +me an account of such particulars, as, by the help of Saunders, and Sir +Charles's own relation, she can pick up. All we single girls, I believe, +are pretty attentive to such subjects as these; as what one day may be +our own concern. + + + +LETTER XVI + +MISS GRANDISON, TO MISS BYRON +THURSDAY NIGHT. + + +Unreasonable, wicked, cruel Byron! To expect a poor creature, so near +her execution, to write an account of other people's behaviour in the +same tremendous circumstances! The matrimonial noose has hung over my +head for some time past; and now it is actually fitted to my devoted +neck.--Almost choaked, my dear!--This moment done hearing read, the +firsts, seconds, thirds, fourths, to near a dozen of them--Lord be +merciful to us!--And the villanous lawyer rearing up to me his spectacled +nose, as if to see how I bore it! Lord G---- insulting me, as I thought, +by his odious leers: Lady Gertrude simpering; little Emily ready to bless +herself--How will the dear Harriet bear these abominable recitatives?-- +But I am now up stairs from them all, in order to recover my breath, and +obey my Byron. + +Well, but what am I now to say about the Danbys? Richard has made his +report; Sir Charles has told us some things: yet I will only give you +heads: make out the rest. + +In the first place, my brother went to Mrs. Harrington's (Miss Danby's +aunt:) she did every thing but worship him. She had with her two young +ladies, relations of her late husband, dainty damsels of the city, who +had procured themselves to be invited, that they might see the man, whom +they called, a wonder of generosity and goodness. Richard heard one of +them say to the other, Ah, sister, this is a king of a man! What pity +there are not many such! But, Harriet, if there were a hundred of them, +we would not let one of them go into the city for a wife; would we, my +dear? + +Sir Charles praised Miss Danby. She was full of gratitude; and of +humility, I suppose. Meek, modest, and humble, are qualities of which +men are mighty fond in women. But matrimony, and a sense of obligation, +are equally great humblers even of spirits prouder than that of Miss +Danby; as your poor Charlotte can testify. + +The young gentlemen, with the rest, were to meet Sir Charles, the bride, +and these ladies, at St. Helen's, I think the church is called. + +As if wedlock were an honour, the Danby girl, in respect to Sir Charles, +was to be first yoked. He gave her away to the son Galliard. The father +Galliard gave his daughter to Edward Danby: but first Mr. Hervey gave his +niece to the elder. + +One of the brides, I forget which, fainted away; another half-fainted-- +Saved by timely salts: the third, poor soul, wept heartily--as I suppose +I shall do on Tuesday. + +Never surely was there such a matrimony promoter, as my brother. God +give me soon my revenge upon him in the same way! + +The procession afterwards was triumphant--Six coaches, four silly souls +in each; and to Mr. Poussin's, at Enfield, they all drove. There they +found another large company. + +My brother was all cheerfulness; and both men and women seemed to contend +for his notice: but they were much disappointed at finding he meant to +leave them early in the evening. + +One married lady, the wife of Sir ---- somebody, (I am very bad at +remembering the names of city knights,) was resolved, she said, since +they could not have Sir Charles to open the ball, to have one dance +before dinner with the handsomest man in England. The music was +accordingly called in; and he made no scruple to oblige the company on a +day so happy. + +Do you know, Harriet, that Sir Charles is supposed to be one of the +finest dancers in England? Remember, my dear, that on Tuesday--[Lord +help me! I shall be then stupid, and remember nothing]--you take him out +yourself: and then you will judge for yourself of his excellence in this +science--May we not call dancing a science? If we judge by the few who +perform gracefully in it, I am sure we may; and a difficult one too. + +O!--And remember, Harriet, that you get somebody to call upon him to +sing--You shall play--I believe I shall forget, in that only agreeable +moment of the day, (for you have a sweet finger, my love,) that I am the +principal fool in the play of the evening. + +O, Harriet,--how can I, in the circumstances I am in, write any more +about these soft souls, and silly? Come to me by day-dawn, and leave me +not till--I don't know when. Come, and take my part, my dear: I shall +hate this man: he does nothing but hop, skip, and dance about me, grin +and make mouths; and every body upholds him in it. + +Must this (I hope not!) be the last time that I write myself to you + +CHARLOTTE GRANDISON? + + + +LETTER XVII + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +ST. JAMES'S-SQUARE, FRIDAY MORNING, APRIL 7. + + +Sir Charles Grandison set out early this morning for Lord W----'s, in his +way to Lady Mansfield's. I am here with this whimsical Charlotte. + +Lady L----, Miss Jervois, myself, and every female of the family, or who +do business for both sisters out of it, are busy in some way or other, +preparatory to the approaching Tuesday. + +Miss Grandison is the only idle person. I tell her, she is affectedly +so. + +The earl has presented her, in his son's name, with some very rich +trinkets. Very valuable jewels are also bespoke by Lord G----, who takes +Lady L----'s advice in every thing; as one well read in the fashions. +New equipages are bespoke; and gay ones they will be. + +Miss Grandison confounded me this morning by an instance of her +generosity. She was extremely urgent with me to accept, as her third +sister, of her share of her mother's jewels. You may believe, that I +absolutely refused such a present. I was angry with her; and told her, +she had but one way of making it up with me; and that was, that since she +would be so completely set out from her lord, she would unite the two +halves, by presenting hers to Lady L----, who had refused jewels from her +lord on her marriage; and who then would make an appearance, +occasionally, as brilliant as her own. + +She was pleased with the hint; and has actually given them (unknown to +any body but me) to her jeweller; who is to dispose them in such figures, +as shall answer those she herself is to have, which Lady L---- has not. +And by this contrivance, which will make them in a manner useless to +herself, she thinks she shall oblige her sister, however reluctant, to +accept of them. + +Lady Gertrude is also preparing some fine presents for her niece elect: +but neither the delighted approbation of the family she is entering into, +nor the satisfaction expressed by her own friends, give the perverse +Charlotte any visible joy, nor procure for Lord G---- the distinction +which she ought to think of beginning to pay him. But, for his part, +never was man so happy. He would, however, perhaps, fare better from +her, if he could be more moderate in the outward expression of his joy; +which she has taken it into her head to call an insult upon her. + +She does not, however, give the scope she did before the day was fixed, +to her playful captiousness. She is not quite so arch as she was. +Thoughtfulness, and a seeming carelessness of what we are employed in, +appear in her countenance. She saunters about, and affects to be +diverted by her harpsichord only. What a whimsical thing is Charlotte +Grandison! But still she keeps Lord G---- at distance. I told her an +hour ago, that she knows not how to condescend to him with that grace +which is so natural to her in her whole behaviour to every body else. + +I have been talking to Dr. Bartlett, about Sir Charles's journey to +Italy. Nobody knows, he says, what a bleeding heart is covered by a +countenance so benign and cheerful. Sir Charles Grandison, said he, has +a prudence beyond that of most young men; but he has great sensibilities. + +I take it for granted, sir, that he will for the future be more an +Italian than Englishman. + +Impossible, madam! A prudent youth, by travelling, reaps this advantage +--From what he sees of other countries, he learns to prefer his own. An +imprudent one the contrary. Sir Charles's country is endeared to him by +his long absence from it. Italy in particular is called the garden of +Europe; but it is rather to be valued for what it was, and might be, than +what it is. I need not tell a lady who has read and conversed as you +have done, to what that incomparable difference is owing. Sir Charles +Grandison is greatly sensible of it. He loves his country, with the +judgment of a wise man; and wants not the partiality of a patriot. + +But, doctor, he has offered, you know, to reside--There I stopt. + +True, madam--And he will not recede from his offers, if they are claimed. +But this uncertainty it is that disturbs him. + +I pity my patron, proceeded he. I have often told you he is not happy. +What has indiscretion to expect, when discretion has so much to suffer? +His only consolation is, that he has nothing to reproach himself with. +Inevitable evils he bears as a man should. He makes no ostentation of +his piety: but, madam, Sir Charles Grandison is a CHRISTIAN. + +You need not, sir, say more to me to exalt him: and, let me add, that I +have no small pleasure in knowing that Clementina is a lady of strict +piety, though a Roman Catholic. + +And let me assure you, madam, that Sir Charles's regard for Miss Byron +(his more than regard for her, why should I not say? since every body +sees it) is founded upon her piety, and upon the amiable qualities of her +mind. Beauty, madam, is an accidental and transient good. No man better +knows how to distinguish between admiration and love, than my patron. +His virtue is virtue upon full proof, and against sensibilities, that it +is heroic to overcome. Lady Olivia knows this: and here I must +acknowledge myself a debtor to you for three articles out of your ten. I +hope soon to discharge the obligation. + +Your own time, doctor: but I must say, that whenever you give me Lady +Olivia's story, I shall be pained, if I find that a Clementina is +considered by a beauty of an unhappier turn, as her rival in the love of +Sir Charles Grandison. + +Lady Olivia, madam, admires him for his virtue; but she cannot, as he has +made it his study to do, divide admiration from love. What offers has +she not refused?--But she declares, that she had rather be the friend of +Sir Charles Grandison, than the wife of the greatest prince on earth. + +This struck me: Have not I said something like it? But surely with +innocence of heart. But here the doctor suggests, that Olivia has put +his virtue to the proof: Yet I hope not. + +The FRIEND, Dr. Bartlett!--I hope that no woman who is not quite given up +to dishonour, will pollute the sacred word, by affixing ideas to it, that +cannot be connected with it. A friend is one of the highest characters +that one human creature can shine in to another. There may be love, that +though it has no view but to honour, yet even in wedlock, ripens not into +friendship. How poor are all such attachments! How much beneath the +exalted notion I have of that noblest, that most delicate union of souls! +You wonder at me, Dr. Bartlett. Let me repeat to you, sir, (I have it by +heart,) Sir Charles Grandison's tender of friendship to the poor Harriet +Byron, which has given me such exalted ideas of this disinterested +passion; but you must not take notice that I have. I repeated those +words, beginning, 'My heart demands alliance with hers'--and ending with +these--'So long as it shall be consistent with her other attachments.'* + + +* See page 110 of this Volume. + + +The doctor was silent for a few moments. At last, What a delicacy is +there in the mind of this excellent man! Yet how consistent with the +exactest truth! The friendship he offers you, madam, is indeed +friendship. What you have repeated can want no explanation: yet it is +expressive of his uncertain situation. It is-- + +He stopt of a sudden. + +Pray, doctor, proceed: I love to hear you talk. + +My good young lady!--I may say too much. Sir Charles in these nice +points must be left to himself. It is impossible for any body to express +his thoughts as he can express them. But let me say, that he justly, as +well as greatly, admires Miss Byron. + +My heart rose against myself. Bold Harriet, thought I, how darest thou +thus urge a good man to say more than he has a mind to say of the secrets +of a friend, which are committed to his keeping? Content thyself with +the hopes, that the worthiest man in the world would wish to call thee +his, were it not for an invincible obstacle. And noble, thrice noble +Clementina, be thine the preference even in the heart of Harriet Byron, +because justice gives it to thee; for, Harriet, hast thou not been taught +to prefer right and justice to every other consideration? And, wouldst +thou abhor the thought of a common theft, yet steal an heart that is the +property, and that by the dearest purchase, of another? + + + +LETTER XVIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +FRIDAY EVENING. + + +We have had a great debate about the place in which the nuptial ceremony +is to be performed. + +Charlotte, the perverse Charlotte, insisted upon not going to church. + +Lord G---- dared not to give his opinion; though his father and Lady +Gertrude, as well as every other person, were against her. + +Lord L---- said, that if fine ladies thought so slightly of the office, +as that it might be performed anywhere, it would be no wonder, if fine +gentlemen thought still more slightly of the obligation it laid them +under. + +Being appealed to, I said, that I thought of marriage as one of the most +solemn acts of a woman's life. + +And if of a woman's, of a man's, surely, interrupted Lady L----. If your +whimsey, Charlotte, added she, arises from modesty, you reflect upon your +sister; and, what is worse, upon your mother. + +Charlotte put up her pretty lip, and was unconvinced. + +Lady Gertrude laid a heavy hand upon the affectation; yet admires her +niece-elect. She distinguished between chamber-vows and church-vows. +She mentioned the word decency. She spoke plainer, on Charlotte's +unfeeling perverseness. If a bride meant a compliment by it to the +bridegroom, that was another thing; but then let her declare as much; and +that she was in an hurry to oblige him. + +Charlotte attempted to kill her by a look--She gave a worse to Lord +G----. And why, whispered she to him, as he sat next her, must thou shew +all thy teeth, man?--As Lady Gertrude meant to shame her, I thought I +could as soon forgive that lady, as her who was the occasion of the +freedom of speech. + +But still she was perverse: she would not be married at all, she said, if +she were not complied with. + +I whispered her, as I sat on the other side of her, I wish, Charlotte, +the knot were tied: till then, you will not do even right things, but in +a wrong manner. + +Dr. Bartlett was not present: he was making a kind visit to my cousins +Reeves. When he came in, the debate was referred to him. He entered +into it with her, with so much modesty, good sense, propriety, and +steadiness, that at last the perverse creature gave way: but hardly would +neither, had he not assured her, that her brother would be entirely +against her; and that he himself must be excused performing the sacred +office, but in a sacred place. She has set her heart on the doctor's +marrying her. + +The Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude, as also Lord and Lady L----, went +away, not dissatisfied with Charlotte's compliance: she is the most +ungraciously graceful young woman I ever knew in her compliances. But +Lord G---- was to pay for all: she and I had got together in the study: +in bolted Lord G----, perhaps with too little ceremony. She coloured-- +Hey-day, sir! Who expected you? His countenance immediately fell. He +withdrew precipitately. Fie, Charlotte! said I, recollect yourself--and +rising, stept to the door, My lord--calling after him. + +He came back; but in a little ferment--I hoped, I hoped, madam, as you +were not in your own apartment, that I might, that I might have been-- + +Wherever ladies are by themselves, it is a lady's apartment, my lord, +said she, with a haughtiness that sat better on her features, than they +would upon almost any other woman's. + +He looked, as if he knew not whether he should stay or go. Sit down, my +lord, said I; we are not particularly engaged. He came nearer, his hat +under his arm, bowing to her, who sat as stately as a princess on her +throne: but yet looked disobliged. You give yourself pretty airs, my +lord--don't you? + +Pretty airs, madam!--Pretty airs!--By my soul, I think, madam--And with +such a glow in your face, madam--Taking his laced hat from under his arm, +and, with an earnest motion, swinging it backwards and forwards, as +unknowing what he did-- + +What, sir, am I to be buffetted, sir?-- + +He put his hat under his arm again--Buffetted, madam!--Would to +Heaven-- + +What has Heaven to do with your odd ways, Lord G----? + +I beg pardon for intruding, madam--But I thought-- + +That you had a privilege, sir--But marriage itself, sir, shall not give +you a privilege to break into my retirements. You thought, sir--You +could not think--So much the worse if you did-- + +If I have really offended--I will be more circumspect for the future--I +beg pardon, madam--Miss Byron, I hope, will forgive me too. + +He was going, in great discomposure, and with an air of angry humility. + +Charlotte, whispered I, don't be silly-- + +Come, come, now you have broke in upon us, you may stay--But another +time, when you know me to be retired with a friend so dear to me, let it +enter into your head, that no third person, unsent for, can be welcome. + +Poor man!--How he loves her!--His countenance changed at once to the +humble placid: he looked as if he had rather be in fault than she. + +Oh! how little did she make him look! + +But he has often, as well as in this instance, let her see her power over +him. I am afraid she will use it. I now see it is and will be his +misfortune that she can vex him without being vexed herself: and what may +he expect, who can be treated with feigned displeasure, which, while it +seems to be in earnest to him, will be a jest to his wife? + +I was very angry with her, when we were alone; and told her, that she +would be an enemy, I was afraid, of her own happiness. But she only +laughed at me: Happiness, my dear! said she: that only is happiness which +we think so. If I can be as happy in my way, as you can be in yours, +shall I not pursue it? Your happiness, child, is in the still life. I +love not a dead calm: now a tempest, now a refreshing breeze, I shall +know how to enjoy the difference--My brother will not be here to turn +jest into earnest; as might perhaps be the effect of his mediation--But, +heigh-ho, Harriet! that the first week were over, and I had got into my +throne! + +She ended with an Italian air, contrasted with another heigh-ho; and left +me for a few moments. + +Poor Lord G----! said I, looking after her. + +She returned soon. Poor Lord G----! repeated she: those were the piteous +words you threw after me--But if I should provoke him, do you think he +would not give me a cuff, or so?--You know he can't return joke for joke; +and he must revenge himself some way--If that should be the case, Poor +Charlotte, I hope you would say-- + +Not if you deserved it. + +Deserve a cuff, Harriet!--Well, but I am afraid I shall. + +Remember next Tuesday, Charlotte!--You must vow obedience--Will you break +your vow?--This is not a jesting matter. + +True, Harriet. And that it is not, was perhaps one of the reasons that +made me disinclined to go to so solemn a place as the church with Lord +G----. Don't you think it one with those who insist upon being married +in their own chamber? + +I believe great people, said I, think they must not do right things in +the common way: that seems to me to be one of their fantastic reasons: +but the vow is the vow, Charlotte: God is every where. + +Now you are so serious, Harriet, it is time to have done with the +subject. + + +I have no sleep in my eyes; and must go on. What keeps me more wakeful +is, my real concern for this naughty Miss Grandison, and my pity for Lord +G----; for the instance I have given you of her petulance is nothing to +what I have seen: but I thought, so near the day, she would have changed +her behaviour to him. Surely, the situation her brother is in, without +any fault of his own, might convince her, that she need not go out of her +path to pick up subjects for unhappiness. + +Such a kittenish disposition in her, I called it; for it is not so much +the love of power that predominates in her mind, as the love of +playfulness: and when the fit is upon her, she regards not whether it is +a china cup, or a cork, that she pats and tosses about. But her sport +will certainly be the death of Lord G----'s happiness. Pity that Sir +Charles, who only has power over her, is obliged to go abroad so soon! +But she has principles: Lady Grandison's daughter, Sir Charles +Grandison's sister, must have principles. The solemnity of the occasion; +the office; the church; the altar;--must strike her: The vow--Will she +not regard the vow she makes in circumstances so awful? Could but my +Lord G---- assume dignity, and mingle raillery with it, and be able to +laugh with her, and sometimes at her, she would not make him her sport: +she would find somebody else: A butt she must have to shoot at: but I am +afraid he will be too sensible of her smartness: and she will have her +jest, let who will suffer by it. + +Some of the contents of your last are very agreeable to me, Lucy. I will +begin in earnest to think of leaving London. Don't let me look silly in +your eyes, my dear, when I come. It was not so very presumptuous in me +(was it?) to hope--When all his relations--When he himself--Yet what room +for hope did he, could he, give me? He was honest; and I cheated myself: +but then all you, my dearest friends, encouraged the cheat: nay, pointed +my wishes, and my hopes, by yours, before I had dared (shall I say, or +condescended?) to own them to myself. + +You may let that Greville know, if you please, that there is no room for +his If's, nor, of consequence, any for his menaces. You may own, that I +shall soon be in Northamptonshire. This may prevent his and Fenwick's +threatened journey to town. + +But, Lucy, though my heart has been ever dutifully, as I may say, open to +the venerable domestic circle; though it would not have been an honest +heart, could it, circumstanced as I was, have concealed itself from Lady +D----; and must have been an impenetrable one indeed, if it could have +been disguised to the two sisters here--yet, I beseech you, my dear, +almost on my knees I beseech you, let not the audacious, the insulting +Greville, have ground given him to suspect a weakness in your Harriet, +which indelicate minds know not how to judge of delicately. For +sex-sake, for example-sake, Lucy, let it not be known, to any but the +partial, friendly few, that our grand-mamma Shirley's child, and aunt +Selby's niece, has been a volunteer in her affections. How many still +more forward girls would plead Mrs. Shirley's approbation of the hasty +affection, without considering the circumstances, and the object! So the +next girl that run away to a dancing-master, or an ensign, would reckon +herself one of Harriet's school. + +Poor Mr. Orme! I am sorry he is not well. It is cruel in you, Lucy, at +this time, to say, (so undoubtingly,) that his illness is owing to his +love of me. You knew that such a suggestion would pain me. Heaven +restore Mr. Orme! + +But I am vexed, as it cannot be to purpose, that Sir Charles Grandison +and I have been named together, and talked of, in your neighbourhood!--He +will be gone abroad. I shall return to Northamptonshire: and shall look +so silly! So like a refused girl! + +'Every body gives me to him, you say'--So much the worse. I wonder what +business this every body has to trouble itself about me. + +One consolation, however, I shall have in my return; and that is, in my +Nancy's recovered health; which was so precarious when I set out for +London. + +But I shall have nothing to entertain you with when I am with you: Sir +Charles Grandison, Lord and Lady L----, Lady G----, (as now in three or +four days she will be), my dear Miss Jervois, Dr. Bartlett, will be all +my subject. And have I not exhausted that by pen and ink? O no! The +doctor promises to correspond with me; and he makes no doubt but Sir +Charles will correspond with him, as usual. + +What can the unusually tender friendship be called which he professed for +me, and, as I may say, claimed in return from me? I know that he has no +notion of the love called Platonic. Nor have I: I think it, in general, +a dangerous allowance; and, with regard to our sex, a very unequal one; +since, while the man has nothing to fear, the woman has every thing, from +the privileges that may be claimed, in an acknowledged confidence, +especially in presence. Miss Grandison thus interprets what he said, and +strengthens her opinion by some of Dr. Bartlett's late intimations, that +he really loves me; but not being at liberty to avow his love, he knew +not what to say; and so went as near to a declaration as was possible to +do in his circumstances. + +But might I not expect, from such a profession of friendship in Sir +Charles, an offer of correspondence in absence? And if he made the +offer, ought I to decline it? Would it not indicate too much on my side, +were I to do so?--And does it not on his, if he make not the offer? He +corresponds with Mrs. Beaumont: nobody thinks that any thing can be meant +by that correspondence on either side; because Mrs. Beaumont must be at +least forty; Sir Charles but six or seven and twenty: but if he makes not +the request to Harriet, who is but little more than twenty; what, after +such professions of a friendship so tender, will be inferred from his +forbearance? + +But I shall puzzle myself, and you too, Lucy, if I go on with this sort +of reasoning; because I shall not know how to put all I mean into words. +Have I not already puzzled you? I think my expression is weak and +perplexed--But this offered and accepted friendship between two persons +not indelicate, must be perplexing; since he is the only young man in the +world, from whom a woman has no dishonour to fear.--Ah, Lucy!--It would +be vanity in me, would it not? to suppose that he had more to fear from +Harriet, than she has from him; as the virtue of either, I hope, is not +questionable? But the event of his Italian visit will explain and +reconcile every thing. + +I will encourage a drowsy fit that seems to be stealing upon me. If I +have not written with the perspicuity I always aim at, allow, Lucy, for +the time of night; for spirits not high; and for the subject, that having +its delicacies, as well as uncertainties, I am not able to write clearly +upon it. + + + +LETTER XIX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SATURDAY NIGHT, APRIL 9. + + +Sir Charles is already returned: he arrived at Windsor on Friday morning; +but found that Lord W---- had set out the afternoon of the day before, +for the house of his friend Sir Joseph Lawrence, which is but fifteen +miles from Mansfield-house. + +Upon this intelligence, Sir Charles, wanting to return to town as soon as +he could, followed him to the knight's: and having time enough himself to +reach Mansfield-house that night, he, by his uncle's consent, pursued his +journey thither; to the great joy of the family; who wished for his +personal introduction of my lord to Miss Mansfield. + +My lord arrived by breakfast-time, unfatigued, and in high spirits: staid +at Mansfield-house all day; and promised so to manage, as to be in town +to-morrow, in order to be present at his niece's nuptials on Tuesday. + +As for Sir Charles, he made the Mansfield family happy in his company the +whole Friday evening; inquiring into their affairs relating to the +oppression they lay under; pointing out measures for redress; encouraging +Miss Mansfield; and informing the brothers, that the lawyers he had +consulted on their deeds, told him, that a new trial might be hoped for; +the result of which, probably, would be a means to do them justice, so +powerfully protected and assisted as they would now be; for new lights +had broke in upon them, and they wanted but to recover a deed, which they +understood was in the hands of two gentlemen, named Hartley, who were but +lately returned from the Indies. Thus prepared, the Mansfields also were +in high spirits, the next morning; and looked, Sir Charles said, on each +other, when they met, as if they wanted to tell each other their +agreeable dreams. + +Sir Charles, in his way, had looked in upon Sir Harry Beauchamp, and his +lady. He found Sir Harry in high spirits, expecting the arrival of his +son; who was actually landed from Calais, having met there his father's +letter, allowing him to return to England, and wishing in his own, and in +Lady Beauchamp's name, his speedy arrival. + +Sir Charles's impatience to see his friend, permitted him only to +breakfast with my lord and the Mansfields; and to know the opinion each +party formed of the other, on this first interview; and then he set out +to Sir Harry Beauchamp's. What an activity!--Heaven reward him with the +grant of his own wishes, whatever they be, and make him the happiest of +men! + +My lord is greatly taken with the lady, and her whole family. Well he +may, Sir Charles says. He blessed him, and called himself blessed in his +sister's son, for his recommendation of each to the other. The lady +thinks better of him, as her mother owned to Sir Charles, than she +thought she should, from report. + +I begin to think, Lucy, that those who set out for happiness are most +likely to find it, when they live single till the age of fancy is over. +Those who marry while it lasts, are often disappointed of that which they +propose so largely to themselves: while those who wed for convenience, +and deal with tolerable honesty by each other, are at a greater +certainty. Tolerable, I repeat, since, it seems, we are to expect that +both parties will turn the best side of the old garment outward. Hence +arises consolation to old maidens, and cautions against precipitation-- +Expatiate, my dear, on this fruitful subject: I would, were I at leisure. + +Sir Charles says that he doubts not, but Lord W---- will be as happy a +man as he wishes to be, in less than a month. + +The deuse is in this brother of mine, whispered Miss Grandison, to me, +for huddling up of marriages! He don't consider, that there may be two +chances for one, that his honest folks may in half a year's time, bless +him the contrary way. + +Sir Charles told us, that he had desired Lord W---- to give out every +where (that the adversaries of the Mansfield family might know it) his +intended alliance; and that he and his nephew were both determined to +procure a retrospection of all former proceedings. + +Sir Charles got to Sir Harry Beauchamp's a little before his friend +arrived. Sir Harry took him aside at his alighting, and told him, that +Lady Beauchamp had had clouds on her brow all the day, and he was afraid, +would not receive his son with the graciousness that once he hoped for +from her: but, that he left him to manage with her. She never, said he, +had so high an opinion either of man or woman as she has of you. + +Sir Charles addressed himself to her, as not doubting her goodness upon +the foot of their former conversation; and praised her for the graces +that however appeared but faintly in her countenance, till his +compliments lighted them up, and made them shine full out in it. He told +her, that his sister and Lord G---- were to be married on the following +Tuesday. He himself, he said, should set out for Paris on Friday after: +but hoped to see a family intimacy begun between his sisters and Lady +Beauchamp; and between their lords, and Sir Harry, and Mr. Beauchamp. He +applauded her on the generosity of her intentions, as declared to him in +their former conference; and congratulated her on the power she had, of +which she made so noble an use, of laying, at the same time, an +obligation on the tenderest of husbands, and the most deserving of sons: +whose duty to her he engaged for. + +All this set her in high good humour; and she took to herself, and +bridled upon it, to express myself in Charlotte's manner, the praises and +graces this adroit manager gave her, as if they were her unquestionable +due. + +This agreeable way they were all in, Sir Harry transported with his +lady's goodness, when Mr. Beauchamp arrived. + +The young gentleman bent his knee to his stepmother, as well as to his +father, and thanked her for the high favours his father had signified to +him by letter, that he owed to her goodness. She confirmed them; but, +Sir Charles observed, with an ostentation that shewed she thought very +highly of her own generosity. + +They had a very cheerful evening. Not one cloud would hang on Lady +Beauchamp's brow, though once or twice it seemed a little overshadowed, +as Mr. Beauchamp displayed qualities for which his father was too ready +to admire him. Sir Charles thought it necessary to caution Sir Harry on +this subject; putting it in this light, that Lady Beauchamp loved her +husband so well, that she would be too likely to dread a rivalry in his +affections from a son so very accomplished. Sir Harry took the hint +kindly. + +Mr. Beauchamp was under a good deal of concern at Sir Charles's +engagements to leave England so soon after his arrival; and asked his +father's leave to attend him. Sir Harry declared, that he could not part +with him. Sir Charles chid his friend, and said, it was not quite so +handsome a return as might have been expected from his Beauchamp, to the +joyful reception he had met with from his father, and Lady Beauchamp. +But she excused the young gentleman, and said, she wondered not, that +any body who was favoured with his friendship, should be unwilling to be +separated from him. + +Sir Charles expresses great satisfaction in Mr. Beauchamp's being arrived +before his departure, that he may present to us, himself, a man with whom +he is sure we shall all be delighted, and leave him happy in the beloved +society which he himself is obliged to quit. + +A repining temper, Lucy, would consider only the hardship of meeting a +long-absent friend, just to feel the uneasiness of a second parting: but +this man views every thing in a right light. When his own happiness is +not to be attained, he lays it out of his thoughts, and, as I have +heretofore observed, rejoices in that of others. It is a pleasure to see +how Sir Charles seems to enjoy the love which Dr. Bartlett expresses for +this friend of them both. + +Sir Charles addressed himself to me, on several occasions, in so polite, +in so tender a manner, that every one told me afterwards, they are sure +he loves me. Dr. Bartlett at the time, as he sat next me, whispered, on +the regret expressed by all on losing him so soon--Ah, madam!--I know, +and pity, my patron's struggles!--Struggles, Lucy! What could the doctor +mean by this whisper to me? But I hope he guesses not at mine! If he +does, would he have whispered his pity of Sir Charles to me?--Come, Lucy, +this is some comfort, however; and I will endeavour to be brave upon it, +that I may not, by my weakness, lessen myself in the doctor's good +opinion. + +It was agreed for Charlotte, (whose assent was given in these words--'Do +as you will--or, rather, as my brother will--What signifies opposing +him?') that the nuptials shall be solemnized, as privately as possible, +at St. George's church. The company is to drop in at different doors, +and with as few attendants as may be. Lord W----, the Earl of G----, and +Lady Gertrude, Lord and Lady L----, Miss Jervois, and your Harriet, are +to be present at the ceremony. I was very earnest to be excused, till +Miss Grandison, when we were alone, dropt down on one knee, and held up +her hands, to beg me to accompany her. Mr. Everard Grandison, if he can +be found, is to be also there, at Sir Charles's desire. + +Dr. Bartlett, as I before hinted, at her earnest request, is to perform +the ceremony. Sir Charles wished it to be at his own parish-church: but +Miss Grandison thought it too near to be private. He was indifferent, as +to the place, he said--So it was at church; for he had been told of the +difficulty we had to get Charlotte to desist from having it performed in +her chamber; and seemed surprised.--Fie, Charlotte! said he--An office so +solemn!--Vows to receive and pay, as in the Divine Presence-- + +She was glad, she told me, that she had not left that battle to be fought +with him. + + +MONDAY, APRIL 10. + +Lord W---- is come. Lord and Lady L---- are here. They, and Miss +Grandison, received him with great respect. He embraced his nieces in a +very affectionate manner. Sir Charles was absent. Lord W---- is in +person and behaviour a much more agreeable man than I expected him to be. +Nor is he so decrepit with the gout, as I had supposed. He is very +careful of himself, it seems. This world has been kind to him; and I +fancy he makes a great deal of a little pain, for want of stronger +exercises to his patience; and so is a sufferer by self-indulgence. Had +I not been made acquainted with his free living, and with the insults he +bore from Mrs. Giffard, with a spirit so poor and so low, I should have +believed I saw not only the man of quality, but the man of sense, in his +countenance. I endeavoured, however, as much as I could, to look upon +him as the brother of the late Lady Grandison. Had he been worthy of +that relation, how should I have reverenced him! + +But whatever I thought of him, he was highly taken with me. He +particularly praised me for the modesty which he said was visible in my +countenance. Free-livers, Lucy, taken with that grace in a woman, which +they make it their pride to destroy! But all men, good and bad, admire +modesty in a woman: And I am sometimes out of humour with our sex, that +they do not as generally like modesty in men. I am sure that this grace, +in Sir Charles Grandison, is one of his principal glories with me. It +emboldens one's heart, and permits one to behave before him with ease; +and, as I may say, with security, in the consciousness of a right +intention. + +But what were Lord W----'s praises of his nephew! He called him, the +glory of his sex, and of human nature. How the cheeks of the dear Emily +glowed at the praises given to her guardian!--She was the taller for +them: when she moved, it was on tiptoe; stealing as it were, across the +floor, lest she should lose any thing that was said on a subject so +delightful to her. + +My lord was greatly pleased with her too. He complimented her as the +beloved ward of the best of guardians. He lamented, with us, the +occasion that called his nephew abroad. He was full of his own +engagements with Miss Mansfield, and declared that his nephew should +guide and govern him as he pleased in every material case, respecting +either the conduct of his future life, or the management and disposition +of his estate; declaring, that he had made his will, and, reserving only +his lady's jointure, and a few legacies, had left every thing to him. + +How right a thing, even in policy, is it, my dear, to be good and +generous. + +I must not forget, that my lord wished with all his soul, that was his +expression, that he might have the honour of giving to his nephew my hand +in marriage. + +I could feel myself blush. I half-suppressed a sigh: I would have wholly +suppressed it, if I could. I recovered the little confusion, his too +plainly expressed wish gave me, by repeating to myself the word CLEMENTINA. + +This Charlotte is a great coward. But I dare not tell her so, for fear +of a retort. I believe I should be as great a one in her circumstances, +so few hours to one of the greatest events of one's life! But I pretend +not to bravery: yet hope, that in the cause of virtue or honour I should +be found to have a soul. + +I write now at my cousin's. I came hither to make an alteration in my +dress. I have promised to be with the sweet Bully early in the morning +of her important day. + + + +LETTER XX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY NIGHT, | APRIL 11, 12. +WEDNESDAY MORNING,| + + +Miss Grandison is no longer to be called by that name. She is Lady +G----. May she make Lord G---- as happy as I dare say he will make her, +if it be not her own fault! + +I was early with her, according to promise. I found her more affected +than she was even last night with her approaching change of condition. +Her brother had been talking to her, she said; and had laid down the +duties of the state she was about to enter into, in such a serious +manner, and made the performance of them of so much importance to her +happiness both here and hereafter, that she was terrified at the thoughts +of what she was about to undertake. She had never considered matrimony +in that formidable light before. He had told her, that he was afraid of +her vivacity; yet was loath to discourage her cheerfulness, or to say +any thing that should lower her spirits. All he besought of her was, to +regard times, tempers, and occasions; and then it would be impossible but +her lively humour must give delight not only to the man whom she favoured +with her hand, but to every one who had the pleasure of approaching her. +If, Charlotte, said he, you would have the world around you respect your +husband, you must set the example. While the wife gives the least room +to suspect, that she despises her husband, she will find that she +subjects him to double contempt, if he resents it not; and if he does, +can you be happy? Aggressors lay themselves open to severe reprisals. +If you differ, you will be apt to make by-standers judges over you. They +will remember, when you are willing to forget; and your fame will be the +sport of those beneath you, as well in understanding as degree. + +She believed, she told me, that Lord G---- had been making some +complaints of her. If he had-- + +Hush, my dear, said I--Not one word of threatening: are you more +solicitous to conceal your fault, than to amend it? + +No--But you know, Harriet, for a man, before he has experienced what sort +of a wife I shall make, to complain against me for foibles in courtship, +when he can help himself if he will, has something so very little-- + +Your conscience, Charlotte, tells you, that he had reason for complaint; +and therefore you think he has complained. Think the best of Lord G---- +for your own reputation's sake, since you thought fit to go thus far with +him. You have borne nothing from him: he has borne a great deal from +you. + +I am fretful, Harriet; I won't be chidden: I will be comforted by you: +you shall sooth me: are you not my sister? She threw her arms round me, +and kissed my cheek. + +I ventured to rally her, though I was afraid of her retort, and met with +it: but I thought it would divert her. I am glad, my dear, said I, that +you are capable of this tenderness of temper: you blustering girls--But +fear, I believe, will make cowards loving. + +Harriet, said she, and flung from me to the window, remember this: may I +soon see you in the same situation! I will then have no mercy upon you. + + +The subject, which Sir Charles led to at breakfast, was the three +weddings of Thursday last. He spoke honourably of marriage, and made +some just compliments to Lord and Lady L----; concluding them with +wishes, that his sister Charlotte and Lord G---- might be neither more +nor less happy than they were. Then turning to Lord W----, he said, he +questioned not his lordship's happiness with the lady he had so lately +seen; for I cannot doubt, said he, of your lordship's affectionate +gratitude to her, if she behaves, as I am sure she will. + +My lord had tears in his eyes. Never man had such a nephew as I have, +said he. All the joy of my present prospects, all the comforts of my +future life, are and will be owing to you. + +Here had he stopt, it would have been well: but turning to me, he +unexpectedly said, Would to God, madam, that you could reward him! I +cannot; and nobody else can. + +All were alarmed for me; every eye was upon me. A sickishness came over +my heart--I know not how to describe it. My head sunk upon my bosom. I +could hardly sit; yet was less able to rise. + +Sir Charles's face was overspread with blushes. He bowed to my lord. +May the man, said he, who shall have the honour to call Miss Byron his, +be, if possible, as deserving as she is! Then will they live together +the life of angels. + +He gracefully looked down; not at me; and I got a little courage to look +up: yet Lady L---- was concerned for me: so was Lord L----: Emily's eye +dropt a tear upon her blushing cheek. + +Was it not, Lucy, a severe trial?--Indeed it was. + +My Lord, to mend the matter, lamented very pathetically, that Sir Charles +was under an obligation to go abroad; and still more, that he could not +stay to be present at the celebration of his nuptials with Miss +Mansfield. + +The Earl, Lord G----, Lady Gertrude, and the doctor, were to meet the +bride and us at church. Lord and Lady L----, Sir Charles, and Emily, +went in one coach: Miss Grandison and I in another. + +As we went, I don't like this affair at all, Harriet, said she. My +brother has long made all other men indifferent to me. Such an infinite +difference! + +Can any body be happier than Lord and Lady L----, Charlotte? Yet Lady +L---- admires her brother as much as you can do. + +They happy!--And so they are. But Lady L----, soft soul! fell in love +with Lord L---- before my brother came over. So the foundation was laid: +and it being a first flame with her, she, in compliment to herself, could +not but persevere. But the sorry creature Anderson, proving a sorry +creature, made me despise the sex: and my brother's perfections +contributed to my contempt of all other men. + +Indeed, my dear, you are wrong. Lord G---- loves you: but were Sir +Charles not your brother, it is not very certain, that he would have +returned your love. + +Why, that's true. I believe he would not, in that case, have chosen me. +I am sure he would not, if he had known you: but for the man one loves, +one can do any thing, be every thing, that he would wish one to be. + +Do you think you cannot love Lord G----? For Heaven's sake, Charlotte, +though you are now almost within sight of the church, do not think of +giving your hand, if you cannot resolve to make Lord G---- as happy, as I +have no doubt he will make you, if it be not your own fault. + +What will my brother say? What will-- + +Leave that to me. I will engage Sir Charles and Dr. Bartlett to lend me +their ear in the vestry; and I am sure your brother, if he knows that you +have an antipathy to Lord G----, or that you think you cannot be happy +with him, will undertake your cause, and bring you off. + +Antipathy! That's a strong word, Harriet. The man is a good-natured +silly man-- + +Silly! Charlotte!--Silly then he must be for loving you so well, who, +really, have never yet given him an opportunity to shew his importance +with you. + +I do pity him sometimes. + +The coach stopt:--Ah, Lord! Harriet! The church! The church! + +Say, Charlotte, before you step out--Shall I speak to your brother, and +Dr. Bartlett, in the vestry? + +I shall look like a fool either way. + +Don't act like one, Charlotte, on this solemn occasion. Say, you will +deserve, that you will try to deserve, Lord G----'s love. + +Sir Charles appeared. Lord help me!--My brother!--I'll try, I'll try, +what can be done. + +He gave each his hand in turn: in we flew: the people began to gather +about us. Lord G---- all rapture, received her at the entrance. Sir +Charles led me: and the Earl and Lady Gertrude received us with joy in +their countenances. I overheard the naughty one say, as Lord G---- led +her up to the altar, You don't know what you are about, man. I expect to +have all my way: remember that's one of my articles before marriage. + +He returned her an answer of fond assent to her condition. I am afraid, +thought I, poor Lord G----, you will be more than once reminded of this +previous article. + +When she was led to the altar, and Lord G---- and she stood together, she +trembled. Leave me not, Harriet, said she.--Brother! Lady L----! + +I am sure she looked sillier than Lord G---- at that instant. + +The good doctor began the office. No dearly beloveds, Harriet! whispered +she, as I had said, on a really terrible occasion. I was offended with +her in my heart: again she whispered something against the office, as the +doctor proceeded to give the reasons for the institution. Her levity did +not forsake her even at that solemn moment. + +When the service was over, every one (Sir Charles in a solemn and most +affectionate manner) wished her happy. My Lord G---- kissed her hand +with a bent knee. + +She took my hand. Ah! Lord, what have I done?--And am I married? +whispered she--And can it never be undone?--And is that the man, to whom +I am to be obedient?--Is he to be my lord and master? + +Ah, Lady G----, said I, it is a solemn office. You have vowed: he has +vowed.--It is a solemn office. + +Lord G---- led her to the first coach. Sir Charles led me into the same. +The people, to my great confusion, whispered. That's the bride! What a +charming couple! Sir Charles handed Miss Emily next. Lord G---- came +in: as he was entering, Harkee, friend, said Charlotte, and put out her +hand, you mistake the coach: you are not of our company. + +The whole world, replied my lord, shall not now divide us: and took his +seat on the same side with Emily. + +The man's a rogue, Harriet, whispered she: See! He gives himself airs +already! + +This, said Lord G---- as the coach drove on, taking one hand, and eagerly +kissing it, is the hand that blessed me. + +And that, said she, pushing him from her with the other, is the hand that +repulses your forwardness. What came you in here for?--Don't be silly. + +He was in raptures all the way. + +When we came home, every one embraced and wished joy to the bride. The +Earl and Lady Gertrude were in high spirits. The lady re-saluted her +niece, as her dear niece: the earl recognised his beloved daughter. + +But prepare to hear a noble action of Lord W----. + +When he came up to compliment her--My dearest niece, said he, I wish you +joy with all my soul. I have not been a kind uncle. There is no +fastening any thing on your brother. Accept of this: [and he put a +little paper into her hand--It was a banknote of 1,000L.:] My sister's +daughter, and your brother's sister, merits more than this. + +Was not this handsomely presented, Lucy? + +He then, in a manner becoming Lady Grandison's brother, stept to Lady +L----. My niece Charlotte is not my only niece. I wish you, my dear, as +if this was your day of marriage, all happiness; accept these two papers: +[The one, Lucy, was a note for 1,000L. and the other for 100L.:] and he +said, The lesser note is due to you for interest on the greater. + +When the ladies opened their notes, and saw what they were, they were at +first at a loss what to say. + +It was most gracefully done. But see, Lucy, the example of a good and +generous man can sometimes alter natures; and covetous men, I have heard +it observed, when their hearts are opened, often act nobly. + +As soon as Lady G---- (so now I must call her) recovered herself from the +surprise into which my lord's present and address had put her, she went +to him: Allow me, my lord, said she, and bent one knee to him, to crave +your blessing; and at the same time to thank you for your paternal +present to your ever obliged Charlotte. + +God bless you, my dear! saluting her--But thank your noble brother: you +delight me with your graceful acceptance. + +Lady L---- came up. My Lord, you overcome me by your bounty.--How shall +I-- + +Your brother's princely spirit, Lady L----, said he, makes this present +look mean. Forgive me only, that it was not done before. And he saluted +her. + +Lord L---- came up. Lady L---- shewed him the opened notes--See here, my +lord, said she, what Lord W---- has done: and he calls this the interest +due on that. + +Your lordship oppresses me with your goodness to your niece, said Lord +L----. May health, long-life, and happiness, attend you in your own +nuptials! + +There, there, said Lord W----, pointing to Sir Charles, (who had +withdrawn, and then entered), make your acknowledgment: his noble spirit +has awakened mine; it was only asleep. My late sister's brother wanted +but the force of such an example. That son is all his mother. + +Sir Charles joining them, having heard only the last words--If I am +thought a son not unworthy of the most excellent of mothers, said he, and +by her brother, I am happy. + +Then you are happy, replied my lord. + +Her memory, resumed Sir Charles, I cherish; and when I have been tempted +to forget myself, that memory has been a means of keeping me steady in my +duty. Her precepts, my lord, were the guide of my early youth. Had I +not kept them in mind, how much more blamable than most young men had I +been!--My Charlotte! Have that mother in your memory, on this great +change of your condition! You will not be called to her trials.--His +eyes glistened. Tender be our remembrance of my father.--Charlotte, be +worthy of your mother. + +He withdrew with an air so noble!--But soon returning, with a cheerful +look, he was told what Lord W---- had done--Your lordship was before, +said he, entitled to our duty, by the ties of blood: but what is the +relation of body to that of mind? You have bound me for my sisters, and +that still more by the manner, than by the act, in a bond of gratitude +that never can be broken! + +Thank yourself, thank yourself, my noble nephew. + +Encourage, my lord, a family intimacy between your lady, and her nieces +and nephews. You will be delighted, my sisters, with Miss Mansfield; but +when she obliges my lord with her hand, you will reverence your aunt. I +shall have a pleasure, when I am far distant, in contemplating the family +union. Your lordship must let me know your Day in time; and I will be +joyful upon it, whatever, of a contrary nature, I may have to struggle +with on my own account. + +My lord wept--My lord wept, did I say?--Not one of us had a dry eye!-- +This was a solemn scene, you will say, for a wedding day: but how +delightfully do such scenes dilate the heart! + +The day, however, was not forgotten as a day of festivity. Sir Charles +himself, by his vivacity and openness of countenance, made every one +joyful: and, except that now and then a sigh, which could not be checked, +stole from some of us, to think that he would so soon be in another +country, (far distant from the friends he now made happy,) and engaged in +difficulties; perhaps in dangers; every heart was present to the occasion +of the day. + +O, Charlotte! Dear Lady G----! Hitherto, it is in your power, to make +every future day, worthy of this!--'Have your mother, your noble mother, +in your memory, my dear:' and give credit to the approbation of such a +brother. + +I should have told you, that my cousins Reeves came about two, and were +received with the utmost politeness by every body. + +Sir Charles was called out just before dinner; and returned introducing a +young gentleman, dressed as if for the day--This is an earlier favour, +than I had hoped for, said Sir Charles; and leading him to Lady G----. +This, sir, is the queen of the day. My dear Lady G----, welcome (the +house is yours--welcome) the man I love: welcome my Beauchamp. + +Every one, except Emily and me, crowded about Mr. Beauchamp, as Sir +Charles's avowedly beloved friend, and bid him cordially welcome: Sir +Charles presenting him to each by name. + +Then leading him to me--I am half ashamed, Lucy, to repeat--But take it +as he spoke it--Revere, said he, my dear friend, that excellent young +lady: but let not your admiration stop at her face and person: she has a +mind as exalted, my Beauchamp, as your own: Miss Byron, in honour to my +sister, and of us all, has gilded this day by her presence. + +Mr. Beauchamp approached me with polite respect. The lady whom Sir +Charles Grandison admires, as he does you, must be the first of women. + +I might have said, that he, who was so eminently distinguished as the +friend of Sir Charles Grandison, must be a most valuable man: but my +spirits were not high. I courtesied to his compliment; and was silent. + +Sir Charles presented Emily to him.--My Emily, Beauchamp. I hope to live +to see her happily married. The man whose heart is but half so worthy as +hers, must be an excellent man. + +Modesty might look up, and be sensible to compliments from the lips of +such a man. Emily looked at me with pleasure, as if she had said, Do you +hear, madam, what a fine thing my guardian has said of me? + +Sir Charles asked Mr. Beauchamp, how he stood with my Lady Beauchamp? + +Very well, answered he. After such an introduction as you had given me +to her, I must have been to blame, had I not. She is my father's wife: I +must respect her, were she ever so unkind to me: she is not without good +qualities. Were every family so happy as to have Sir Charles Grandison +for a mediator when misunderstandings happened, there would be very few +lasting differences among relations. My father and mother tell me, that +they never sit down to table together, but they bless you: and to me they +have talked of nobody else: but Lady Beauchamp depends upon your promise +of making her acquainted with the ladies of your family. + +My sisters, and their lords, will do honour to my promise in my absence. +Lady L----, Lady G----, let me recommend to you Lady Beauchamp as more +than a common visiting acquaintance. Do you, sir, to Mr. Beauchamp, see +it cultivated. + +Mr. Beauchamp is an agreeable, and, when Sir Charles Grandison is not in +company, a handsome and genteel man. I think, my dear, that I do but the +same justice that every body would do, in this exception. He is +cheerful, lively, yet modest, and not too full of words. One sees both +love and respect in every look he casts upon his friend; and that he is +delighted when he hears him speak, be the subject what it will. + +He once said to Lord W----, who praised his nephew to him, as he does to +everybody near him; The universal voice, my lord, is in his favour +wherever he goes. Every one joins almost in the same words, in different +countries, allowing for the different languages, that for sweetness of +manners, and manly dignity, he hardly ever had his equal. + +Sir Charles was then engaged in talk with his Emily; she before him; he +standing in an easy genteel attitude, leaning against the wainscot, +listening, smiling, to her prattle, with looks of indulgent love, as a +father might do to a child he was fond of; while she looked back every +now and then towards me, so proud, poor dear! of being singled out by her +guardian. + +She tript to me afterwards, and, leaning over my shoulder, as I sat, +whispered--I have been begging of my guardian to use his interest with +you, madam, to take me down with you to Northamptonshire. + +And what is the result? + +She paused. + +Has he denied your request? + +No, madam. + +Has he allowed you to go, my dear, if I comply, turning half round to her +with pleasure. + +She paused, and seemed at a loss. I repeated my question. + +Why, no, he has not consented neither--But he said such charming things, +so obliging, so kind, both of you, and of me, that I forgot my question, +though it was so near my heart: but I will ask him again. + +And thus, Lucy, can he decline complying, and yet send away a requester +so much delighted with him, as to forget what her request was. + +Miss Grandison--Lady G----, I would say--singled me out soon after--This +Beauchamp is really a very pretty fellow, Harriet. + +He is an agreeable man, answered I. + +So I think. She said no more of him at that time. + +Between dinner and tea, at Lady L----'s motion, they made me play on the +harpsichord; and after one lesson, they besought Sir Charles to sing to +my playing. He would not, he said, deny any request that was made him on +that day. + +He sung. He has a mellow manly voice, and great command of it. + +This introduced a little concert. Mr. Beauchamp took the violin; Lord +L---- the bass-viol; Lord G---- the German flute; and most of the company +joined in the chorus. The song was from 'Alexander's Feast:' the words; + + Happy, happy, happy pair! + None but the good deserves the fair: + +Sir Charles, though himself equally brave and good, preferring the latter +word to the former. + +Lady L---- had always insisted upon dancing at her sister's wedding. We +were not company enough for country dances: but music having been +ordered, and the performers come, it was insisted upon that we should +have a dance, though we were engaged in a conversation that I thought +infinitely more agreeable. + +Lord G---- began by dancing a minuet with his bride: she danced +charmingly: but on my telling her so afterwards, she whispered me, that +she should have performed better, had she danced with her brother. Lord +G---- danced extremely well. + +Lord L---- and Lady Gertrude, Mr. Beauchamp and Mrs. Reeves, Mr. Reeves +and Lady L---- danced all of them very agreeably. + +The earl took me out: but we had hardly done, when, asking pardon for +disgracing me, as he too modestly expressed himself; he, and all but my +cousins and Emily, called out for Sir Charles to dance with me. + +I was abashed at the general voice calling upon us both: but it was +obeyed. + +He deserved all the praises that Miss Gran--Lady G----, I would say, +gave him in her letter to me. + +Lord bless me, my dear, this man is every thing! But his conversation +has ever been among the politest people of different nations. + +Lord W---- wished himself able, from his gout, to take out Miss Jervois. + +The bridegroom was called upon by Sir Charles: and he took out the good +girl, who danced very prettily. I fancied, that he chose to call out +Lord G---- rather than Mr. Beauchamp. He is the most delicate and +considerate of men. + +Sir Charles was afterwards called upon by the bride herself: and she +danced then with a grace indeed! I was pleased that she could perform so +well at her own wedding. + +Supper was not ready till twelve. Mr. Reeves's coach came about that +hour; but we got not away till two. + +Perhaps the company would not have broke up so soon, had not the bride +been perverse, and refused to retire. + +Was she not at home? she asked Lady L----, who was put upon urging her: +and should she leave her company? + +She would make me retire with her. She took a very affectionate leave of +me. + +Marriage, Lucy, is an awful rite. It is supposed to be a joyful +solemnity: but, on the woman's side, it can be only so when she is given +to the man she loves above all the men in the world; and, even to her, +the anniversary day, when doubt is turned into certainty, must be much +happier than the day itself. + +What a victim must that woman look upon herself to be, who is compelled, +or even over-persuaded, to give her hand to a man who has no share in her +heart? Ought not a parent or guardian, in such a circumstance, +especially if the child has a delicate, an honest mind, to be chargable +with all the unhappy consequences that may follow from such a cruel +compulsion? + +But this is not the case with Miss Grandison. Early she cast her eye on +an improper object. Her pride convinced her in time of the impropriety. +And this, as she owns, gave her an indifference to all men. + +She hates not Lord G----. There is no man whom she prefers to him. And +in this respect, may perhaps, be upon a par with eight women out of +twelve, who marry, and yet make not bad wives. + +As she played with her passion till she lost it, she may be happy, if she +will: and since she intended to be, some time or other, Lady G----, her +brother was kind in persuading her to shorten her days of coquetting and +teasing, and allow him to give her to Lord G---- before he went abroad. + + + +LETTER XXI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 12. + + +Dr. Bartlett was so good as to breakfast with my cousins and me this +morning. He talks of setting out for Grandison-hall on Saturday or +Monday next. We have settled a correspondence; and he gives me hope, +that he will make me a visit in Northamptonshire. I know you will all +rejoice to see him. + +Emily came in before the doctor went. She brought me the compliments of +the bride, and Lord W----, with their earnest request, that I would dine +with them. Sir Charles was gone, she said, to make a farewell visit to +the Danby set; but would be at home at dinner. + +It would be better for me, I think, Lucy, to avoid all opportunities of +seeing him: Don't you think so?--There is no such thing as seeing him +with indifference. But, so earnestly invited, how could I deny; +especially as my cousins were inclinable to go? + +Miss Jervois whispered me at parting. I never before, said she, had an +opportunity to observe the behaviour of a new-married couple to each +other: but is it customary, madam, for the bride to be more snappish, as +the bridegroom is more obliging? + +Lady G---- is very naughty, my dear, if she so behaves, as to give you +reason to ask this question. + +She does: and, upon my word, I see more obedience where it was not +promised, than where it was. Dear madam, is not what is said at church +to be thought of afterwards? But why did not the doctor make her speak +out? What signified bowing, except a woman was so bashful that she could +not speak? + +The bowing, my dear, is an assent. It is as efficacious as words. Lord +G---- only bowed, you know. Could you like to be called upon, Emily, to +speak out? + +Why, no. But then I would be very civil and good-natured to my husband, +if it were but for fear he should be cross to me: but I should think it +my duty as well + +Sweet innocent! + +She went away, and left the doctor with me. + +When our hearts are set upon a particular subject, how impertinent, how +much beside the purpose, do we think every other! I wanted the doctor to +talk of Sir Charles Grandison: but as he fell not into the subject, and +as I was afraid he would think me to be always leading him into it, if I +began it, I suffered him to go away at his first motion: I never knew him +so shy upon it, however. + +Sir Charles returned to dinner. He has told Lady L----, who afterwards +told us, that he had a hint from Mr. Galliard, senior, that if he were +not engaged in his affections, he was commissioned to make him a very +great proposal in behalf of one of the young ladies he had seen the +Thursday before; and that from her father. + +Surely, Lucy, we may pronounce without doubt, that we live in an age in +which there is a great dearth of good men, that so many offers fall to +the lot of one. But, I am thinking, 'tis no small advantage to Sir +Charles, that his time is so taken up, that he cannot stay long enough in +any company to suffer them to cast their eyes on other objects, with +distinction. He left the numerous assembly at Enfield, while they were +in the height of their admiration of him. Attention, love, admiration, +cannot be always kept at the stretch. You will observe, Lucy, that on +the return of a long-absent dear friend, the rapture lasts not more than +an hour: gladdened, as the heart is, the friend received, and the friends +receiving, perhaps in less than that time, can sit down quietly together, +to hear and to tell stories, of what has happened to either in the long +regretted absence. It will be so with us, Lucy, when I return to the +arms of my kind friends: and now, does not Sir Charles's proposed journey +to Italy endear his company to us? + +The Earl of G----, Lady Gertrude, and two agreeable nieces of that +nobleman's, were here at dinner. Lady G---- behaved pretty well to her +lord before them: but I, who understood the language of her eyes, saw +them talk very saucily to him, on several occasions. My lord is a little +officious in his obligingness; which takes off from that graceful, that +polite frankness, which so charmingly, on all occasions, distinguishes +one happy man, who was then present. Lord G---- will perhaps appear more +to advantage in that person's absence. + +Mr. Beauchamp was also present. He is indeed an agreeable, a modest +young man. He appeared to great advantage, as well in his conversation, +as by his behaviour: and not the less for subscribing in both to the +superiority of his friend; who, nevertheless, endeavoured to draw him out +as the first man. + +After dinner, Lady L----, Lady G----, and I, found an opportunity to be +by ourselves for one half hour. Lady G---- asked Lady L---- what she +intended to do with the thousand pounds with which Lord W---- had so +generously presented her?--Do with it, my dear!--What do you think I +intend to do with it?--It is already disposed of. + +I'll be hanged, said Lady G----, if this good creature has not given it +to her husband. + +Indeed, Charlotte, I have. I gave it to him before I slept. + +I thought so! She laughed--And Lord L---- took it! Did he? + +To be sure he did. I should otherwise have been displeased with him. + +Dear, good soul!--And so you gave him a thousand pounds to take part of +it back from him, by four or five paltry guineas at a time, at his +pleasure? + +Lord L---- and I, Charlotte, have but one purse. You may not perhaps, +know how we manage it? + +Pray, good, meek, dependent creature! how do you manage it? + +Thus, Charlotte: My lord knows that his wife and he have but one +interest; and from the first of our happy marriage, he would make me take +one key, as he has another, of the private drawer, where his money and +money-bills lie. There is a little memorandum-book in the drawer, in +which he enters on one page, the money he receives; on the opposite, the +money he takes out: and when I want money, I have recourse to my key. If +I see but little in the drawer, I am the more moderate; or, perhaps, if +my want is not urgent, defer the supplying of it till my lord is richer: +but, little or much, I minute down the sum, as he himself does; and so we +know what we are about; and I never put it out of my lord's power, by my +unseasonable expenses, to preserve that custom of his, for which he is as +much respected, as well served; not to suffer a demand to be twice made +upon him where he is a debtor. + +Good soul!--And, pray, don't you minute down, too, the use to which you +put the money you take out? + +Indeed I often do: always, indeed, when I take out more than five guineas +at one time: I found my lord did so: and I followed the example of my own +accord. + +Happy pair! said I.--O Lady G----, what a charming example is this!--I +hope you'll follow it. + +Thank you, Harriet, for your advice. Why, I can't but say, that this is +one pretty way of coaxing each other into frugality: but don't you think, +that where an honest pair are so tender of disobliging, and so studious +of obliging each other, that they seem to confess that the matrimonial +good understanding hangs by very slender threads? + +And do not the tenderest friendships, said I, hang by as slender? Can +delicate minds be united to each other but by delicate observances? + +Why thou art a good soul, too, Harriet!--And so you would both have me +make a present to Lord G---- of my thousand pounds before we have chosen +our private drawer; before he has got two keys made to it? + +Let him know, Charlotte, what Lord L---- and I do, if you think the +example worth following--And then-- + +Ay, and then give him my thousand pounds for a beginning, Lady L----? +But see you not that this proposal should come from him, not from me?-- +And should we not let each other see a little of each other's merits +first? + +See, first, the merits of the man you have married, Charlotte! + +Yes, Lady L----. But yesterday married, you know. Can there be a +greater difference between any two men in the world, than there often is +between the same man, a lover, and a husband?--And now, my generous +advisers, be pleased to continue silent. You cannot answer me fairly. +And besides, wot ye not the indelicacy of an early present, which you are +not obliged to make? + +We were both silent, each expecting the other to answer the strange +creature. + +She laughed at us both. Soft souls, and tender! said she, let me tell +you, that there is more indelicacy in delicacy, than you very delicate +people are aware of. + +You, Charlotte, said Lady L----, have odder notions than any body else. +Had you been a man, you would have been a sad rake. + +A rake, perhaps, I might have been; but not a sad one, Lady L----. + +Lady G---- can't help being witty, said I: it is sometimes her +misfortune, sometimes ours, that she cannot: however, I highly approve of +the example set by Lord L----, and followed by Lady L----. + +And so do I, Harriet. And when Lord G---- sets the example, I shall-- +consider of it. I am not a bad economist. Had I ten thousand pounds in +my hands, I would not be extravagant: had I but one hundred, I would not +be mean. I value not money but as it enables me to lay an obligation, +instead of being under the necessity of receiving one. I am my mother's +daughter, and brother's sister; and yours, Lady L----, in this +particular; and yours too, Harriet: different means may be taken to +arrive at the same end. Lord G---- will have no reason to be +dissatisfied with my prudence in money-matters, although I should not +make him one of my best courtesies, as if--as if--(and she laughed; but +checking herself)--I were conscious--again she laughed--that I had signed +and sealed to my absolute dependence on his bounty. + +What a mad creature! said Lady L----: But, my Harriet, don't you think +that she behaved pretty well to Lord G---- at table? + +Yes, answered I, as those would think who observe not her arch looks: but +she gave me pain for her several times; and, I believe, her brother was +not without his apprehensions. + +He had his eyes upon you, Harriet, replied Lady G----, more earnestly +than he had upon me, or any body else. + +That's true, said Lady L----. I looked upon both him and you, my dear, +with pity. My tears were ready to start more than once, to reflect how +happy you two might be in each other, and how greatly you would love each +other, were it not---- + +Not one word more on this subject, dear Lady L----! I cannot bear it. I +thought my-self, that he often cast an eye of tenderness upon me. I +cannot bear it. I am afraid of myself; of my justice-- + +His tender looks did not escape me, said Lady G----. Nor yet did my dear +Harriet's. But we will not touch this string: it is too tender a one. +I, for my part, was forced, in order to divert myself, to turn my eyes on +Lord G----. He got nothing by that. The most officious-- + +Nay, Lady G----, interrupted I, you shall not change the discourse at the +expense of the man you have vowed to honour. I will be pained myself, by +the continuation of the former subject, rather than that shall be. + +Charming Harriet! said Lady L----. I hope your generosity will be +rewarded. Yet tell me, my dear, can you wish Lady Clementina may be his? +I have no doubt but you wish her recovery; but can you wish her to be +his? + +I have debated the matter, my dear Lady L----, with myself. I am sorry +it has admitted of debate: so excellent a creature! Such an honour to +her sex! So nobly sincere! So pious!--But I will confess the truth: I +have called upon justice to support me in my determination: I have +supposed myself in her situation, her unhappy malady excepted: I have +supposed her in mine: and ought I then to have hesitated to which to give +the preference?--Yet-- + +What yet, most frank, and most generous of women? said Lady L----, +clasping her arms about me: what yet-- + +Why, yet-Ah, ladies--Why, yet, I have many a pang, many a twitch, as I +may call it!--Why is your brother so tender-hearted, so modest, so +faultless!--Why did he not insult me with his pity? Why does he on every +occasion shew a tenderness for me, that is more affecting than pity? And +why does he give me a consequence that exalts, while it depresses me? + +I turned my head aside to hide my emotion--Lady G---- snatched my +handkerchief from me; and wiped away a starting tear; and called me by +very tender names. + +Am I dear, continued I, to the heart of such a man? You think I am. +Allow me to say, that he is indeed dear to mine: yet I have not a wish +but for his happiness, whatever becomes of me. + +Emily appeared at the door--May I come in, ladies?--I will come in!--My +dear Miss Byron affected! My dear Miss Byron in tears! + +Her pity, without knowing the cause, sprung to her eyes. She took my +hand in both hers, and repeatedly kissed it!--My guardian asks for you. +O with what tenderness of voice--Where is your Miss Byron, love? He +calls every one by gentle names, when he speaks of you--His voice then is +the voice of love--Love, said he to me! Through you, madam, he will love +his ward--And on your love will I build all my merit. But you sigh, dear +Miss Byron! you sigh--Forgive your prating girl!--You must not be +grieved. + +I embraced her. Grief, my dear, reaches not my heart at this time. It +is the merit of your guardian that affects me. + +God bless you, madam, for your gratitude to my guardian! + +A Clementina and a Harriet! said Lady L----, two women so excellent! +What a fate is his! How must his heart be divided! + +Divided, say you, Lady L----! resumed Lady G----. The man who loves +virtue, for virtue's sake, loves it wherever he finds it: Such a man may +distinguish more virtuous women than one: and if he be of a gentle and +beneficent nature, there will be tenderness in his distinction to every +one, varying only according to the difference of circumstance and +situation. + +Let me embrace you, my Charlotte! resumed Lady L----. for that thought. +Don't let me hear, for a month to come, one word from the same lips, that +may be unworthy of it. + +You have Lord G---- in your head, Lady L----: but never mind us. He must +now and then be made to look about him. I'll take care to keep up my +consequence with him, never fear: nor shall he have reason to doubt the +virtue of his wife. + +Virtue, my dear! said I: What is virtue only? She who will not be +virtuous for virtue's sake, is not worthy to be called a woman: but she +must be something more than virtuous for her husband's, nay, for her +vow's sake. Complacency, obligingness-- + +Obedience too, I warrant--Hush, hush, my sweet Harriet! putting her hand +before my mouth, we will behave as well as we can: and that will be very +well, if nobody minds us. And now let us go down together. + + + +LETTER XXII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +THURSDAY, APRIL 13. + + +We played at cards last night till supper-time. When that was over, +every one sought to engage Sir Charles in discourse. I will give you +some particulars of our conversation, as I did of one before. + +Lord W---- began it with a complaint of the insolence and profligateness +of servants. What he said, was only answered by Sir Charles, with the +word Example, example, my good lord, repeated. + +You, Sir Charles, replied my lord, may indeed insist upon the force of +example; for I cannot but observe, that all those of yours, whom I have +seen, are entitled to regard. They have the looks of men at ease, and of +men grateful for that ease: they know their duty, and need not a +reminding look. A servant of yours, Sir Charles, looks as if he would +one day make a figure as a master. How do you manage it? + +Perhaps I have been peculiarly fortunate in worthy servants. There is +nothing in my management deserving the attention of this company. + +I am going to begin the world anew, nephew. Hitherto, servants have been +a continual plague to me. I must know how you treat them. + +I treat them, my lord, as necessary parts of my family. I have no +secrets, the keeping or disclosing of which might give them +self-importance. I endeavour to set them no bad example. I am never +angry with them but for wilful faults: if those are not habitual, I shame +them into amendment, by gentle expostulation and forgiveness. If they +are not capable of a generous shame, and the faults grow habitual, I part +with them; but with such kindness, as makes their fellow-servants blame +them, and take warning. I am fond of seeking occasions to praise them: +and even when they mistake, if it be with a good intention, they have my +approbation of the intention, and my endeavours to set them right as to +the act. Sobriety is an indispensable qualification for my service; and +for the rest, if we receive them not quite good, we make them better than +they were before. Generally speaking, a master may make a servant what +he pleases. Servants judge by example, rather than precept, and almost +always by their feelings. One thing more permit me to add; I always +insist upon my servants being kind and compassionate to one another. A +compassionate heart cannot habitually be an unjust one. And thus do I +make their good-nature contribute to my security, as well as quiet. + +My lord was greatly pleased with what his nephew said. + +Upon some occasion, Lady G---- reflected upon a lady for prudery, and was +going on, when Sir Charles, interrupting her, said, Take care, Lady +G----. You, ladies, take care; for I am afraid, that MODESTY, under this +name, will become ignominious, and be banished the hearts, at least the +behaviour and conversation, of all those whose fortunes or inclinations +carry them often to places of public resort. + +Talk of places of public resort! said Lord L----: It is vexatious to +observe at such, how men of real merit are neglected by the fine ladies +of the age, while every distinction is shewn to fops and foplings. + +But, who, my lord, said Sir Charles, are those women? Are they not +generally of a class with those men? Flippant women love empty men, +because they cannot reproach them with a superiority of understanding, +but keep their folly in countenance. They are afraid of a wise man: but +I would by no means have such a one turn fool to please them: for they +will despise the wise man's folly more than the silly man's, and with +reason; because being uncharacteristic, it must sit more awkwardly upon +him than the other's can do. + +Yet wisdom itself, and the truest wisdom, goodness, said Mrs. Reeves, is +sometimes thought to sit ungracefully, when it is uncharacteristic, not +to the man, but to the times. She then named a person who was branded as +a hypocrite, for performing all his duties publicly. + +He will be worse spoken of, if he declines doing so, said Dr. Bartlett. +His enemies will add the charge of cowardice; and not acquit him of the +other. + +Lady Gertrude being withdrawn, it was mentioned as a wonder, that so +agreeable a woman, as she must have been in her youth, and still was for +her years, should remain single. Lord G---- said, that she had had many +offers: and once, before she was twenty, had like to have stolen a +wedding: but her fears, he said, since that, had kept her single. + +The longer, said Sir Charles, a woman remains unmarried, the more +apprehensive she will be of entering into the state. At seventeen or +eighteen a girl will plunge into it, sometimes without either fear or +wit; at twenty she will begin to think; at twenty-four will weigh and +discriminate; at twenty-eight will be afraid of venturing; at thirty will +turn about, and look down the hill she has ascended; and, as occasions +offer, and instances are given, will sometimes repent, sometimes rejoice, +that she has gained that summit sola. + +Indeed, said Mrs. Reeves, I believe in England many a poor girl goes up +the hill with a companion she would little care for, if the state of a +single woman were not here so peculiarly unprovided and helpless: for +girls of slender fortunes, if they have been genteelly brought up, how +can they, when family connexions are dissolved, support themselves? A +man can rise in a profession, and if he acquires wealth in a trade, can +get above it, and be respected. A woman is looked upon as demeaning +herself, if she gains a maintenance by her needle, or by domestic +attendance on a superior; and without them where has she a retreat? + +You speak, good Mrs. Reeves, said Sir Charles, as if you would join with +Dr. Bartlett and me in wishing the establishment of a scheme we have +often talked over, though the name of it would make many a lady start. +We want to see established in every county, Protestant Nunneries, in +which single women of small or no fortunes might live with all manner of +freedom, under such regulations as it would be a disgrace for a modest or +good woman not to comply with, were she absolutely on her own hands; and +to be allowed to quit it whenever they pleased. + +Well, brother, said Lady G----, and why could you not have got all this +settled a fortnight ago, (you that can carry every point,) and have made +poor me a lady abbess? + +You are still better provided for, my sister. But let the doctor and me +proceed with our scheme. The governesses or matrons of the society I +would have to be women of family, of unblamable characters from infancy, +and noted equally for their prudence, good-nature, and gentleness of +manners. The attendants, for the slighter services, should be the +hopeful female children of the honest industrious poor. + +Do you not, ladies, imagine, said Dr. Bartlett, that such a society as +this, all women of unblemished reputation, employing themselves as each, +(consulting her own genius,) at her admission, shall undertake to employ +herself, and supported genteelly, some at more, some at less expense to +the foundation, according to their circumstances, might become a national +good; and particularly a seminary for good wives, and the institution a +stand for virtue, in an age given up to luxury, extravagance, and +amusements little less than riotous? + +How could it be supported? said Lord W----. + +Many of the persons, of which each community would consist, would be, I +imagine, replied Sir Charles, no expense to it at all; as numbers of +young women, joining their small fortunes, might be able, in such a +society, to maintain themselves genteelly on their own income; though +each, singly in the world, would be distressed. Besides, liberty might +be given for wives, in the absence of their husbands, in this maritime +country; and for widows, who, on the deaths of theirs, might wish to +retire from the noise and hurry of the world, for three, six, or twelve +months, more or less; to reside in this well-regulated society. And such +persons, we may suppose, would be glad, according to their respective +abilities, to be benefactresses to it. No doubt but it would have +besides the countenance of the well-disposed of both sexes; since every +family in Britain, in their connexions and relations, near or distant, +might be benefited by so reputable and useful an institution: to say +nothing of the works of the ladies in it, the profits of which perhaps +will be thought proper to be carried towards the support of a foundation +that so genteelly supports them. Yet I would have a number of hours in +each day, for the encouragement of industry, that should be called their +own; and what was produced in them, to be solely appropriated to their +own use. + +A truly worthy divine, at the appointment of the bishop of the diocese, +to direct and animate the devotion of such a society, and to guard it +from that superstition and enthusiasm which soars to wild heights in +almost all nunneries, would confirm it a blessing to the kingdom. + +I have another scheme, my lord, proceeded Sir Charles--An hospital for +female penitents; for such unhappy women, as having been once drawn in, +and betrayed by the perfidy of men, find themselves, by the cruelty of +the world, and principally by that of their own sex, unable to recover +the path of virtue, when perhaps, (convinced of the wickedness of the men +in whose honour they confided,) they would willingly make their first +departure from it the last. + +These, continued he, are the poor creatures who are eminently entitled to +our pity, though they seldom meet with it. Good nature, and credulity, +the child of good nature; are generally, as I have the charity to +believe, rather than viciousness, the foundation of their crime. Those +men who pretend they would not be the first destroyers of a woman's +innocence, look upon these as fair prize. But, what a wretch is he, who +seeing a poor creature exposed on the summit of a dangerous precipice, +and unable, without an assisting hand, to find her way down, would rather +push her into the gulf below, than convey her down in safety? + +Speaking of the force put upon a daughter's inclinations in wedlock; +Tyranny and ingratitude, said Sir Charles, from a man beloved, will be +more supportable to a woman of strong passions, than even kindness from a +man she loves not: Shall not parents then, who hope to see their children +happy, avoid compelling them to give their hands to a man who has no +share in their hearts? + +But would you allow young ladies to be their own choosers, Sir Charles? +said Mr. Reeves. + +Daughters, replied he, who are earnest to choose for themselves, should +be doubly careful that prudence justifies their choice. Every widow who +marries imprudently, (and very many there are who do,) furnishes a strong +argument in favour of a parent's authority over a maiden daughter. A +designing man looks out for a woman who has an independent fortune, and +has no questions to ask. He seems assured of finding indiscretion and +rashness in such a one, to befriend him. But ought not she to think +herself affronted, and resolve to disappoint him? + +But how, said Lady G----, shall a young creature be able to judge-- + +By his application to her, rather than to her natural friends and +relations; by his endeavouring to alienate her affections from them; by +wishing her to favour private and clandestine meetings (conscious that +his pretensions will not stand discussion); by the inequality of his +fortune to hers: and has not our excellent Miss Byron, in the letters to +her Lucy, (bowing to me,) which she has had the goodness to allow us to +read, helped us to a criterion? 'Men in their addresses to young women,' +she very happily observes, 'forget not to set forward the advantages by +which they are distinguished, whether hereditary or acquired; while love, +love, is all the cry of him who has no other to boast of.' + +And by that means, said Lady Gertrude, setting the silly creature at +variance with all her friends, he makes her fight his battles for him; +and become herself the cat's paw to help him to the ready roasted +chesnuts. + +But, dear brother, said Lady G----, do you think love is such a staid +deliberate passion, as to allow a young creature to take time to ponder +and weigh all the merits of the cause? + +Love at first sight, answered Sir Charles, must indicate a mind prepared +for impression, and a sudden gust of passion, and that of the least noble +kind; since there could be no opportunity of knowing the merit of the +object. What woman would have herself supposed capable of such a tindery +fit? In a man, it is an indelicate paroxysm: but in a woman, who expects +protection and instruction from a man, much more so. Love, at first, may +be only fancy. Such a young love may be easily given up, and ought, to a +parent's judgment. Nor is the conquest so difficult as some young +creatures think it. One thing, my good Emily, let me say to you, as a +rule of some consequence in the world you are just entering into--Young +persons, on arduous occasions, especially in love-cases, should not +presume to advise young persons; because they seldom can divest +themselves of passion, partiality, or prejudice; that is, indeed, of +youth; and forbear to mix their own concerns and biases with the question +referred to them. It should not be put from young friend to young +friend, What would you do in such a case? but, What ought to be done? + +How the dear girl blushed, and how pleased she looked, to be particularly +addressed by her guardian! + +Lady Gertrude spoke of a certain father, who for interested views obliged +his daughter to marry at fifteen, when she was not only indifferent to +the man, but had formed no right notions of the state. + +And are they not unhappy? asked Sir Charles. + +They are, replied she. + +I knew such an instance, returned he. The lady was handsome, and had her +full share of vanity. She believed every man who said civil things to +her, was in love with her; and had she been single, that he would have +made his addresses to her. She supposed, that she might have had this +great man, or that, had she not been precipitated: And this brought her +to slight the man who had, as she concluded, deprived her of better +offers. They were unhappy to the end of their lives. Had the lady lived +single long enough to find out the difference between compliment and +sincerity, and that the man who flattered her vanity, meant no more than +to take advantage of her folly, she would have thought herself not +unhappy with the very man with whom she was so dissatisfied. + +Lady L---- speaking afterwards of a certain nobleman, who is continually +railing against matrimony, and who makes a very indifferent husband to an +obliging wife: I have known more men than one, said Sir Charles, inveigh +against matrimony, when the invective would have proceeded with a much +better grace from their wives' lips than from theirs. But let us +inquire, would this complainer have been, or deserved to be, happier in +any state, than he now is? + +A state of suffering, said Lady L----, had probably humbled the spirit of +the poor wife into perfect meekness and patience. + +You observe rightly, replied Sir Charles: And surely a most kind +disposition of Providence it is, that adversity, so painful in itself, +should conduce so peculiarly to the improvement of the human mind: It +teaches modesty, humility, and compassion. + +You speak feelingly brother, said Lady L----, with a sigh. Do you think, +Lucy, nobody sighed but she? + +I do, said he. I speak with a sense of gratitude: I am naturally of an +imperious spirit: But I have reaped advantages, from the early stroke of +a mother's death. Being for years, against my wishes, obliged to submit +to a kind of exile from my native country, which I considered as a heavy +evil, though I thought it my duty to acquiesce, I was determined, as much +as my capacity would allow, to make my advantage of the compulsion, by +qualifying myself to do credit, rather than discredit, to my father, my +friends, and my country. And, let me add, that if I have in any +tolerable manner succeeded, I owe much to the example and precepts of my +dear Dr. Bartlett. + +The doctor blushed and bowed, and was going to disclaim the merit which +his patron had ascribed to him; but Sir Charles confirmed it in still +stronger terms: You, my dear Dr. Bartlett, said he, as I have told Miss +Byron, was a second conscience to me in my earlier youth: Your precepts, +your excellent life, your pure manners, your sweetness of temper, could +not but open and enlarge my mind. The soil, I hope I may say, was not +barren; but you, my dear paternal friend, was the cultivator: I shall +ever acknowledge it--And he bowed to the good man; who was covered with +modest confusion, and could not look up. + +And think you, Lucy, that this acknowledgment lessened the excellent man +with any one present? No! It raised him in every eye: and I was the +more pleased with it, as it helped me to account for that deep +observation, which otherwise one should have been at a loss to account +for, in so young a man. And yet I am convinced, that there is hardly a +greater difference in intellect between angel and man, than there is +between man and man. + + + +LETTER XXIII + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +THURSDAY, APRIL 13. + + +For Heaven's sake, my dearest Harriet! dine with us to-day; for two +reasons: one relates to myself; the other you shall hear by and by: To +myself, first, as is most fit--This silly creature has offended me, and +presumed to be sullen upon my resentment. Married but two days, and shew +his airs!--Were I in fault, my dear, (which, upon my honour, I am not,) +for the man to lose his patience with me, to forget his obligations to +me, in two days!--What an ungrateful wretch is he! What a poor powerless +creature your Charlotte! + +Nobody knows of the matter, except he has complained to my brother--If he +has! But what if he has?--Alas! my dear, I am married; and cannot help +myself. + +We seem, however, to be drawing up our forces on both sides.--One +struggle for my dying liberty, my dear!--The success of one pitched +battle will determine which is to be the general, which the subaltern, +for the rest of the campaign. To dare to be sullen already!--As I hope +to live, my dear, I was in high good humour within myself; and when he +was foolish, only intended a little play with him; and he takes it in +earnest. He worships you: so I shall rally him before you: but I charge +you, as the man by his sullenness has taken upon him to fight his own +battle, either to be on my side, or be silent. I shall take it very ill +of my Harriet, if she strengthen his hands. + +Well, but enough of this husband--HUSBAND! What a word!--Who do you +think is arrived from abroad?--You cannot guess for your life--Lady +OLIVIA!--True as you are alive! accompanied, it seems, by an aunt of +hers; a widow, whose years and character are to keep the niece in +countenance in this excursion. The pretence is, making the tour of +Europe: and England was not to be left out of the scheme. My brother is +excessively disturbed at her arrival. She came to town but last night. +He had notice of it but this morning. He took Emily with him to visit +her: Emily was known to her at Florence. She and her aunt are to be here +at dinner. As she is come, Sir Charles says, he must bring her +acquainted with his sisters, and their lords, in order to be at liberty +to pursue the measures he has unalterably resolved upon: and this, +Harriet, is my second reason for urging you to dine with us. + +Now I do wish we had known her history at large. Dr. Bartlett shall tell +it us. Unwelcome as she is to my brother, I long to see her. I hope I +shall not hear something in her story, that will make me pity her. + +Will you come? + +I wonder whether she speaks English, or not. I don't think I can +converse in Italian. + +I won't forgive you, if you refuse to come. + +Lady L---- and her good man will be here. We shall therefore, if you +come, be our whole family together. + +My brother has presented this house to me, till his return. He calls +himself Lord G----'s guest and mine: so you can have no punctilio about +it. Besides, Lord W---- will set out to-morrow morning for Windsor. He +dotes upon you: and perhaps it is in your power to make a new-married man +penitent and polite. + +So you must come. + +Hang me, if I sign by any other name, while this man is in fits, than +that of + +CHARLOTTE GRANDISON. + + + +LETTER XXIV + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +THURSDAY, APRIL 13. + + +I send you enclosed a letter I received this morning from Lady G----. I +will suppose you have read it. + +Emily says, that the meeting between Sir Charles and the lady mentioned +in it, was very polite on both sides: but more cold on his than on hers. +She made some difficulty, however, of dining at his house; and her aunt, +Lady Maffei, more. But on Sir Charles's telling them, that he would +bring his elder sister to attend them thither, they complied. + +When I went to St. James's-square, Sir Charles and Lady L---- were gone +in his coach to bring the two ladies. + +Lady G---- met me on the stairs-head, leading into her dressing-room. +Not a word, said she, of the man's sullens: He repents: A fine figure, as +I told him, of a bridegroom, would he make in the eyes of foreign ladies, +at dinner, were he to retain his gloomy airs. He has begged my pardon; +as good as promised amendment; and I have forgiven him. + +Poor Lord G----, said I. + +Hush, hush! He is within: he will hear you: and then perhaps repent of +his repentance. + +She led me in: my lord had a glow in his cheeks, and looked as if he had +been nettled; and was but just recovering a smile, to help to carry off +the petulance. O how saucily did her eyes look! Well, my lord, said +she, I hope--But you say, I misunderstood--No more, madam, no more, I +beseech you-- + +Well, sir, not a word more, since you are-- + +Pray, madam-- + +Well, well, give me your hand--You must leave Harriet and me together. + +She humorously courtesied to him as he bowed to me, taking the compliment +as to herself. She nodded her head to him, as he turned back his when he +was at the door; and when he was gone, If I can but make this man +orderly, said she, I shall not quarrel with my brother for hurrying me, +as he has done. + +You are wrong, excessively wrong, Charlotte: you call my lord a silly +man, but can have no proof that he is so, but by his bearing this +treatment from you. + +None of your grave airs, my dear. The man is a good sort of man, and +will be so, if you and Lady L---- don't spoil him. I have a vast deal of +roguery, but no ill-nature, in my heart. There is luxury in jesting with +a solemn man, who wants to assume airs of privilege, and thinks he has a +right to be impertinent. I'll tell you how I will manage--I believe I +shall often try his patience, and when I am conscious that I have gone +too far, I will be patient if he is angry with me; so we shall be quits. +Then I'll begin again: he will resent: and if I find his aspect very +solemn--Come, come, no glouting, friend, I will say, and perhaps smile in +his face: I'll play you a tune, or sing you a song--Which, which! Speak +in a moment, or the humour will be off. + +If he was ready to cry before, he will laugh then, though against his +will: and as he admires my finger, and my voice, shall we not be +instantly friends? + +It signified nothing to rave at her: she will have her way. Poor Lord +G----! At my first knowledge of her, I thought her very lively; but +imagined not that she was indiscreetly so. + +Lord G----'s fondness for his saucy bride was, as I have reason to +believe, his fault: I dared not to ask for particulars of their quarrel: +and if I had, and found it so, could not, with such a rallying creature, +have entered into his defence, or censured her. + +I went down a few moments before her. Lord G---- whispered me, that he +should be the happiest man in the world, if I, who had such an influence +over her, would stand his friend. + +I hope, my lord, said I, that you will not want any influence but your +own. She has a thousand good qualities. She has charming spirits. You +will have nothing to bear with but from them. They will not last always. +Think only, that she can mean nothing by the exertion of them, but +innocent gaiety; and she will every day love your lordship the better for +bearing with her. You know she is generous and noble. + +I see, madam, said he, she has let you into-- + +She has not acquainted me with the particulars of the little +misunderstanding; only has said, that there had been a slight one; which +was quite made up. + +I am ashamed, replied he, to have it thought by Miss Byron, that there +could have been a misunderstanding between us, especially so early. She +knows her power over me. I am afraid she despises me. + +Impossible, my lord! Have you not observed, that she spares nobody when +she is in a lively humour? + +True--But here she comes!--Not a word, madam!--I bowed assenting silence. +Lord G---- said, she, approaching him, in a low voice, I shall be jealous +of your conversations with Miss Byron. + +Would to heaven, my dearest life! snatching at her withdrawn hand, +that-- + +I were half as good as Miss Byron: I understand you: but time and +patience, sir; nodding to him, and passing him. + +Admirable creature! said he, how I adore her! + +I hinted to her afterwards, his fear of her despising him. Harriet, +answered she, with a serious air, I will do my duty by him. I will abhor +my own heart, if I ever find in it the shadow of a regard for any man in +the world, inconsistent with that which he has a right to expect from me. + +I was pleased with her. And found an opportunity to communicate what she +said, in confidence, to my lord; and had his blessings for it. + +But now for some account of Lady Olivia. With which I will begin a new +letter. + + + +LETTER XXV + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION + + +Sir Charles returned with the ladies. He presented to Lady Olivia and +her aunt, Lady G----, Lord L----, and Lord W----. I was in another +apartment talking with Dr. Bartlett. Lady Olivia asked for the doctor. +He left me to pay his respects to her. + +Sir Charles being informed, that I was in the house, told Lady Olivia, +that he hoped he should have the honour of presenting to her one of our +English beauties; desiring Lady G---- to request my company. + +Lady G---- came to me--A lovely woman, I assure you, Harriet; let me lead +you to her. + +Sir Charles met me at the entrance of the drawing-room: Excuse me, madam, +said he, taking my hand, with profound respect, and allow me to introduce +to a very amiable Italian lady, one who does so much honour to Britain.-- +Miss Byron, madam, addressing himself to her, salutes you. The +advantages of person are her least perfection. + +Her face glowed. Miss Byron, said she, in French, is all loveliness. A +relation, sir? in Italian. + +He bowed; but answered not her question. + +I would sooner forgive you here, whispered Lady Olivia to Sir Charles, in +Italian, looking at me, than at Bologna. + +I heard her; and by my confusion shewed that I understood her. She was +in confusion too. + +Mademoiselle, said she, in French, understands Italian.--I am ashamed, +monsieur. + +Miss Byron does, answered Sir Charles; and French too. + +I must have the honour, said she in French, to be better known to you, +mademoiselle. + +I answered her as politely as I could in the same language. + +Lady OLIVIA is really a lovely woman. Her complexion is fine. Her face +oval. Every feature of it is delicate. Her hair is black; and, I think, +I never saw brighter black eyes in my life: if possible, they are +brighter, and shine with a more piercing lustre, than even Sir Charles +Grandison's: but yet I give his the preference; for we see in them a +benignity, that hers, though a woman's, has not; and a thoughtfulness, as +if something lay upon his mind, which nothing but patience could +overcome; yet mingled with an air that shews him to be equal to any +thing, that can be undertaken by man. While Olivia's eyes shew more fire +and impetuosity than sweetness. Had I not been told it, I should have +been sure that she has a violent spirit: but on the whole, she is a very +fine figure of a woman. + +She talked of taking a house, and staying in England a year at least; and +was determined, she said, to perfect herself in the language, and to +become an Englishwoman: but when Sir Charles, in the way of discourse, +mentioned his obligation to leave England, as on next Friday morning, how +did she and her aunt look upon each other! And how was the sunshine that +gilded her fine countenance, shut in! Surely, sir, said her aunt, you +are not in earnest! + +After dinner, the two ladies retired with Sir Charles, at his motion. +Dr. Bartlett, at Lady G----'s request, then gave us this short sketch of +her history. He said, she had a vast fortune: she had had indiscretions; +but none that had affected her character as to virtue: but her spirit +could not bear control. She had shewn herself to be vindictive, even to +a criminal degree. Lord bless me, my dear! the doctor has mentioned to +me in confidence, that she always carries a poniard about her; and that +once she used it. Had the person died, she would have been called to +public account for it. The man, it seems, was of rank, and offered some +slight affront to her. She now comes over, the doctor said, as he had +reason to believe, with a resolution to sacrifice even her religion, if +it were insisted upon, to the passion she had so long in vain endeavoured +to conquer. + +She has, he says, an utter hatred to Lady Clementina; and will not be +able to govern her passion, he is sure, when Sir Charles shall acquaint +her, that he is going to attend that lady, and her family: for he has +only mentioned his obligation to go abroad; but not said whither. + +Lord W---- praised the person of the lady, and her majestic air. Lord +L---- and Lord G---- wished to be within hearing of the conference +between her and Sir Charles: so did Lady G----: and while they were thus +wishing, in came Sir Charles, his face all in a glow; Lady L----, said +he, be so good as to attend Lady Olivia. + +She went to her; Sir Charles staid not with us: yet went not to the lady; +but into his study. Dr. Bartlett attended him there: the doctor returned +soon after to us. His noble heart is vexed, said he: Lady Olivia has +greatly disturbed him: he chooses to be alone. + +Lady L---- afterwards told us, that she found the lady in violent anguish +of spirit; her aunt endeavouring to calm her: she, however, politely +addressed herself to Lady L----, and begging her aunt to withdraw for a +few moments, she owned to her, in French, her passion for her brother: +She was not, she said, ashamed to own it to his sister, who must know +that his merit would dignify the passion of the noblest woman. She had +endeavoured, she said, to conquer hers: she had been willing to give way +to the prior attachments that he had pleaded for a lady of her own +country, Signora Clementina della Porretta, whom she allowed to have had +great merit; but who, having irrecoverably been put out of her right +mind, was shut up at Naples by a brother, who vowed eternal enmity to Sir +Charles; and from whom his life would be in the utmost hazard, if he went +over. She owned, that her chief motive for coming to England was, to +cast her fortune at her brother's feet; and, as she knew him to be a man +of honour, to comply with any terms he should propose to her. He had +offered to the family della Porretta to allow their daughter her +religion, and her confessor, and to live with her every other year in +Italy. She herself, not inferior in birth, in person, in mind, as she +said, she presumed, and superior in fortune, the riches of three branches +of her family, all rich, having centred in her, insisted not now upon +such conditions. Her aunt, she said, knew not that she proposed, on +conviction, a change of her religion; but she was resolved not to conceal +anything from Lady L----. She left her to judge how much she must be +affected, when he declared his obligation to leave England; and +especially when he owned, that it was to go to Bologna, and that so +suddenly, as if, as she apprehended at first, it was to avoid her. She +had been in tears, she said, and even would have kneeled to him, to +induce him to suspend his journey for one month, and then to have taken +her over with him, and seen her safe in her own palace, if he would go +upon so hated, and so fruitless, as well as so hazardous an errand: but +he had denied her this poor favour. + +This refusal, she owned, had put her out of all patience. She was +unhappily passionate; but was the most placable of her sex. What, madam, +said she, can affect a woman, if slight, indignity, and repulse, from a +favoured person, is not able to do it? A woman of my condition to come +over to England, to solicit--how can I support the thought--and to be +refused the protection of the man she prefers to all men; and her request +to see her safe back again, though but as the fool she came over!--You +may blame me, madam--but you must pity me, even were you to have a heart +the sister heart of your inflexible brother. + +In vain did Lady L---- plead to her Lady Clementina's deplorable +situation; the reluctance of his own relations to part with him; and the +magnanimity of his self-denial in a hundred instances, on the bare +possibility of being an instrument to restore her: she could not bear to +hear her speak highly of the unhappy lady. She charged Clementina with +the pride of her family, to which she attributed their deserved calamity; +[Deserved! Cruel lady! How could her pitiless heart allow her lips to +utter such a word!] and imputed meanness to the noblest of human minds, +for yielding to the entreaties of a family, some of the principals of +which, she said, had treated him with an arrogance that a man of his +spirit ought not to bear. + +Lady Maffei came in. She seems dependent upon her niece. She is her +aunt by marriage only: and Lady L---- speaks very favourably of her from +the advice she gave, and her remonstrances to her kinswoman. Lady Maffei +besought her to compose herself, and return to the company. + +She could not bear, she said, to return to the company, the slighted, the +contemned object, she must appear to be to every one in it. I am an +intruder, said she, haughtily; a beggar, with a fortune that would +purchase a sovereignty in some countries. Make my excuses to your +sister, to the rest of the company--and to that fine young lady--whose +eyes, by their officious withdrawing from his, and by the consciousness +that glowed in her face whenever he addressed her, betrayed, at least to +a jealous eye, more than she would wish to have seen--But tell her, that +all lovely and blooming as she is, she must have no hope, while +Clementina lives. + +I hope, Lucy, it is only to a jealous eye that my heart is so +discoverable!--I thank her for her caution. But I can say what she +cannot; that from my heart, cost me what it may, I do subscribe to a +preference in favour of a lady, who has acted, in the most arduous +trials, in a greater manner than I fear either Olivia or I could have +acted, in the same circumstances. We see that her reason, but not her +piety, deserted her in the noble struggle between her love and her +religion. In the most affecting absences of her reason, the soul of the +man she loved was the object of her passion. However hard it is to +prefer another to one's self, in such a case as this; yet if my judgment +is convinced, my acknowledgment shall follow it. Heaven will enable me +to be reconciled to the event, because I pursue the dictates of that +judgment, against the biases of my more partial heart. Let that Heaven, +which only can, restore Clementina, and dispose as it pleases of Olivia +and Harriet. We cannot either of us, I humbly hope, be so unhappy as the +lady has been whom I rank among the first of women; and whose whole +family deserves almost equal compassion. + +Lady Olivia asked Lady L----, if her brother had not a very tender regard +for me? He had, Lady L---- answered; and told her, that he had rescued +me from a very great distress; and that mine was the most grateful of +human hearts. + +She called me sweet young creature; (supposing me, I doubt not, younger +than I am;) but said, that the graces of my person and mind alarmed her +not, as they would have done, had not his attachment to Clementina been +what now she saw, but never could have believed it was; having supposed, +that compassion only was the tie that bound him to her. + +But compassion, Lucy, from such a heart as his, the merit so great in the +lady, must be love; a love of the nobler kind--And if it were not, it +would be unworthy of Clementina's. + +Lady Maffei called upon her dignity, her birth, to carry her above a +passion that met not with a grateful return. She advised her to dispose +herself to stay in England some months, now she was here. And as her +friends in Italy would suppose what her view was in coming to England, +their censures would be obviated by her continuing here for some time, +while Sir Charles was abroad, and in Italy: and that she should divert +herself with visiting the court, the public places, and in seeing the +principal curiosities of this kingdom, as she had done those of others; +in order to give credit to an excursion that might otherwise be freely +spoken of, in her own country. + +She seemed to listen to this advice. She bespoke, and was promised, the +friendship of the two sisters; and included in her request, through their +interests, mine; and Lady G---- was called in, by her sister, to join in +the promise. + +She desired that Sir Charles might be requested to walk in; but would not +suffer the sisters to withdraw, as they would have done, when he +returned. He could not but be polite; but, it seems, looked still +disturbed. I beg you to excuse, sir, said she, my behaviour to you: it +was passionate; it was unbecoming. But, in compliment to your own +consequence, you ought to excuse it. I have only to request one favour +of you: That you will suspend for one week, in regard to me, your +proposed journey; but for one week; and I will, now I am in England, stay +some months; perhaps till your return. + +Excuse me, madam. + +I will not excuse you--But one week, sir. Give me so much importance +with myself, as for one week's suspension. You will. You must. + +Indeed I cannot. My soul, I own to you, is in the distresses of the +family of Porretta. Why should I repeat what I said to you before? + +I have bespoken, sir, the civilities of your sisters, of your family: you +forbid them not? + +You expect not an answer, madam, to that question. My sisters will be +glad, and so will their lords, to attend you wherever you please, with a +hope to make England agreeable to you. + +How long do you propose to stay in Italy, sir? + +It is not possible for me to determine. + +Are you not apprehensive of danger to your person? + +I am not. + +You ought to be. + +No danger shall deter me from doing what I think to be right. If my +motives justify me, I cannot fear. + +Do you wish me, sir, to stay in England till your return? + +A question so home put, disturbed him. Was it a prudent one in the lady? +It must either subject her to a repulse; or him, by a polite answer, to +give her hope, that her stay in England might not be fruitless, as to the +view she had in coming. He reddened. It is fit, answered he, that your +own pleasure should determine you. It did, pardon me, madam, in your +journey hither. + +She reddened to her very ears. Your brother, ladies, has the reputation +of being a polite man: bear witness to this instance of it. I am ashamed +of myself! + +If I am unpolite, madam, my sincerity will be my excuse; at least to my +own heart. + +O, that inflexible heart! But, ladies, if the inhospitable Englishman +refuse his protection in his own country, to a foreign woman, of no mean +quality; do not you, his sisters, despise her. + +They, madam, and their lords, will render you every cheerful service. +Let me request you, my sisters, to make England as agreeable as possible +to this lady. She is of the first consideration in her own country: she +will be of such wherever she goes. My Lady Maffei deserves likewise your +utmost respect. Then addressing himself to them; Ladies, said he, +encourage my sisters: they will think themselves honoured by your +commands. + +The two sisters confirmed, in an obliging manner, what their brother had +said; and both ladies acknowledged themselves indebted to them for their +offered friendship: but Lady Olivia seemed not at all satisfied with +their brother: and it was with some difficulty he prevailed on her to +return to the company, and drink coffee. + +I could not help reflecting, on occasion of this lady's conduct, that +fathers and mothers are great blessings, to daughters, in particular, +even when women grown. It is not every woman that will shine in a state +of independency. Great fortunes are snares. If independent women escape +the machinations of men, which they have often a difficulty to do, they +will frequently be hurried by their own imaginations, which are said to +be livelier than those of men, though their judgments are supposed less, +into inconveniencies. Had Lady Olivia's parents or uncles lived, she +hardly would have been permitted to make the tour of Europe: and not +having so great a fortune to support vagaries, would have shone, as she +is well qualified to do, in a dependent state, in Italy, and made some +worthy man and herself happy. + +Had she a mind great enough to induce her to pity Clementina, I should +have been apt to pity her; for I saw her soul was disturbed. I saw that +the man she loved was not able to return her love: a pitiable case!--I +saw a starting tear now and then with difficulty dispersed. Once she +rubbed her eye, and, being conscious of observation, said something had +got into it: so it had. The something was a tear. Yet she looked with +haughtiness, and her bosom swelled with indignation ill concealed. + +Sir Charles repeated his recommendation of her to Lord L---- and Lord +G----. They offered their best services: Lord W---- invited her and all +of us to Windsor. Different parties of pleasure were talked of: but +still the enlivener of every party was not to be in any one of them. She +tried to look pleased; but did not always succeed in the trial: an eye of +love and anger mingled was often cast upon the man whom everybody loved. +Her bosom heaved, as it seemed sometimes, with indignation against +herself: that was the construction which I made of some of her looks. + +Lady Maffei, however, seemed pleased with the parties of pleasure talked +of. She often directed herself to me in Italian. I answered her in it +as well as I could. I do not talk it well: but as I am not an Italian, +and little more than book-learned in it, (for it is a long time ago since +I lost my grandpapa, who used to converse with me in it, and in French,) +I was not scrupulous to answer in it. To have forborne, because I did +not excel in what I had no opportunity to excel in, would have been false +modesty, nearly bordering upon pride. Were any lady to laugh at me for +not speaking well her native tongue, I would not return the smile, were +she to be less perfect in mine, than I am in hers. But Lady Olivia made +me a compliment on my faulty accent, when I acknowledged it to be so. +Signora, said she, you shew us, that a pretty mouth can give beauty to a +defect. A master teaching you, added she, would perhaps find some fault; +but a friend conversing with you, must be in love with you for the very +imperfection. + +Sir Charles was generously pleased with the compliment, and made her a +fine one on her observation. + +He attended the two ladies to their lodgings in his coach. He owned to +Dr. Bartlett, that Lady Olivia was in tears all the way, lamenting her +disgrace in coming to England, just as he was quitting it; and wishing +she had stayed at Florence. She would have engaged him to correspond +with her: he excused himself. It was a very afflicting thing to him, he +told the doctor, to deny any request that was made to him, especially by +a lady: but he thought he ought in conscience and honour to forbear +giving the shadow of an expectation that might be improved into hope, +where none was intended to be given. Heaven, he said, had, for laudable +ends, implanted such a regard in the sexes towards each other, that both +man and woman who hoped to be innocent, could not be too circumspect in +relation to the friendships they were so ready to contract with each +other. He thought he had gone a great way, in recommending an intimacy +between her and his sisters, considering her views, her spirit, her +perseverance, and the free avowal of her regard for him, and her menaces +on his supposed neglect of her. And yet, as she had come over, and he +was obliged to leave England so soon after her arrival; he thought he +could not do less: and he hoped his sisters, from whose example she might +be benefited, would, while she behaved prudently, cultivate her +acquaintance. + +The doctor tells me, that now Lady Olivia is so unexpectedly come hither +in person, he thinks it best to decline giving me, as he had once +intended, her history at large; but will leave so much of it as may +satisfy my curiosity, to be gathered from my own observation; and not +only from the violence and haughtiness of her temper, but from the +freedom of her declarations. He is sure, he said, that his patron will +be best pleased, that a veil should be thrown over the weaker part of her +conduct; which, were it known, would indeed be glorious to Sir Charles, +but not so to the lady; who, however, never was suspected, even by her +enemies, of giving any other man reason to tax her with a thought that +was not strictly virtuous: and she had engaged his pity and esteem, for +the sake of her other fine qualities, though she could not his love. +Before she saw him (which, it seems, was at the opera at Florence for the +first time, when he had an opportunity to pay her some slight civilities) +she set all men at defiance. + +To-morrow morning Sir Charles is to breakfast with me. My cousins and I +are to dine at Lord L----'s. The Earl and Lady Gertrude are also to be +there. Lord W---- has been prevailed upon to stay, and be there also, as +it is his nephew's last day in England.--'Last day in England!' O, my +Lucy! what words are those!--Lady L---- has invited Lady Olivia and her +aunt, at her own motion, Sir Charles (his time being so short) not +disapproving. + +I thank my grandmamma and aunt for their kind summons. I will soon set +my day: I will, my dear, soon set my day. + + + +LETTER XXVI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +FRIDAY NOON, APRIL 14. + + +Not five hours in bed; not one hour's rest for many uneasy nights before; +I was stupid till Sir Charles came: I then was better. He inquired, with +tender looks and voice, after my health; as if he thought I did not look +well. + +We had some talk about Lord and Lady G----. He was anxious for their +happiness. He complimented me with hopes from my advice to her. Lord +G----, he said, was a good-natured honest man. If he thought his sister +would make him unhappy, he should himself be so. + +I told him, that I dared to answer for her heart. My lord must bear with +some innocent foibles, and all would be well. + +We then talked of Lady Olivia. He began the subject, by asking me my +opinion of her. I said she was a very fine woman in her person; and that +she had an air of grandeur in her mien. + +And she has good qualities, said he; but she is violent in her passions. +I am frequently grieved for her. She is a fine creature in danger of +being lost, by being made too soon her own mistress. + +He said not one word of his departure to-morrow morning: I could not +begin it; my heart would not let me; my spirits were not high: and I am +afraid, if that key had been touched, I should have been too visibly +affected. My cousins forbore, upon the same apprehension. + +He was excessively tender and soothing to me, in his air, his voice, his +manner. I thought of what Emily said; that his voice, when he spoke of +me, was the voice of love. Dear flattering girl!--But why did she +flatter me? + +We talked of her next. He spoke of her with the tenderness of a father. +He besought me to love her. He praised her heart. + +Emily, said I, venerates her guardian. She never will do any thing +contrary to his advice. + +She is very young, replied he. She will be happy, madam, in yours. She +both loves and reverences you. + +I greatly love the dear Emily, sir. She and I shall be always sisters. + +How happy am I, in your goodness to her! Permit me, madam, to enumerate +to you my own felicities in that of my dearest friends. + +Mr. Beauchamp is now in the agreeable situation I have long wished him to +be in. His prudence and obliging behaviour to his mother-in-law, have +won her. His father grants him every thing through her; and she, by this +means, finds that power enlarged which she was afraid would be lessened, +if the son were allowed to come over. How just is this reward of his +filial duty! + +Thus, Lucy, did he give up the merit to his Beauchamp, which was solely +due to himself. + +Lord W----, he hoped, would be soon one of the happiest men in England: +and the whole Mansfield family had now fair prospects opening before +them. + +Emily [not he, you see] had made it the interest of her mother to be +quiet. + +Lord and Lady L---- gave him pleasure whenever he saw them, or thought of +them. + +Dr. Bartlett was in heaven, while on earth. He would retire to his +beloved Grandison-hall, and employ himself in distributing, as objects +offered, at least a thousand pounds of the three thousand bequeathed to +charitable uses by his late friend Mr. Danby. His sister's fortune was +paid. His estates in both kingdoms were improving.--See, madam, said he, +how like the friend of my soul I claim your attention to affairs that are +of consequence to myself; and in some of which your generosity of heart +has interested you. + +I bowed. Had I spoken, I had burst into tears. I had something arose in +my throat, I know not what. Still, thought I, excellent man, you are not +yourself happy!--O pity! pity! Yet, Lucy, he plainly had been +enumerating all these things, to take off from my mind that impression +which I am afraid he too well knows it is affected with, from his +difficult situation. + +And now, madam, resumed he, how are all my dear and good friends, whom +you more particularly call yours?--I hope to have the honour of a +personal knowledge of them. When heard you of our good Mr. Deane? He is +well, I hope. + +Very well, Sir. + +Your grandmamma Shirley, that ornament of advanced years? + +I bowed: I dared not to trust my voice. + +Your excellent aunt, Selby? + +I bowed again. + +Your uncle, your Lucy, your Nancy: Happy family! All harmony! all love! +--How do they? + +I wiped my eyes. + +Is there any service in my power to do them, or any of them? Command me, +good Miss Byron, if there be: my Lord W---- and I are one. Our influence +is not small.--Make me still more happy, in the power of serving any one +favoured by you. + +You oppress me, sir, by your goodness!--I cannot speak my grateful +sensibilities. + +Will you, my dear Mr. Reeves, will you, madam, (to my cousin,) employ me +in any way that I can be of use to you, either abroad or at home? Your +acquaintance has given me great pleasure. To what a family of worthies +has this excellent young lady introduced me! + +O, sir! said Mrs. Reeves, tears running down her cheeks, that you were +not to leave people whom you have made so happy in the knowledge of the +best of men! + +Indispensable calls must be obeyed, my dear Mrs. Reeves. If we cannot be +as happy as we wish, we will rejoice in the happiness we can have. We +must not be our own carvers.--But I make you all serious. I was +enumerating, as I told you, my present felicities: I was rejoicing in +your friendships. I have joy; and, I presume to say, I will have joy. +There is a bright side in every event; I will not lose sight of it: and +there is a dark one; but I will endeavour to see it only with the eye of +prudence, that I may not be involved by it at unawares. Who that is not +reproached by his own heart, and is blessed with health, can grieve for +inevitable evils; evils that can be only evils as we make them so? +Forgive my seriousness: my dear friends, you make me grave. Favour me, I +beseech you, my good Miss Byron, with one lesson: we shall be too much +engaged, perhaps, by and by. + +He led me (I thought it was with a cheerful air; but my cousins both say, +his eyes glistened) to the harpsichord: He sung unasked, but with a low +voice; and my mind was calmed. O, Lucy! How can I part with such a man? +How can I take my leave of him?--But perhaps he has taken his leave of me +already, as to the solemnity of it, in the manner I have recited. + + + +LETTER XXVII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SATURDAY MORNING, APRIL 15. + + +O, Lucy, Sir Charles Grandison is gone! Gone indeed! He set out at +three this morning; on purpose, no doubt, to spare his sisters, and +friends, as well as himself, concern. + +We broke not up till after two. Were I in the writing humour which I +have never known to fail me till now, I could dwell upon a hundred +things, some of which I can now only briefly mention. + +Dinner-time yesterday passed with tolerable cheerfulness: every one tried +to be cheerful. O what pain attends loving too well, and being too well +beloved! He must have pain, as well as we. + +Lady Olivia was the most thoughtful, at dinnertime; yet poor Emily! Ah, +the poor Emily! she went out four or five times to weep; though only I +perceived it. + +Nobody was cheerful after dinner but Sir Charles. He seemed to exert +himself to be so. He prevailed on me to give them a lesson on the +harpsichord. Lady L---- played: Lady G---- played: we tried to play, I +should rather say. He himself took the violin, and afterwards sat down +to the harpsichord, for one short lesson. He was not known to be such a +master: but he was long in Italy. Lady Olivia indeed knew him to be so. +She was induced to play upon the harpsichord: she surpassed every body. +Italy is the land of harmony. + +About seven at night he singled me out, and surprised me greatly by what +he said. He told me, that Lady D---- had made him a visit. I was before +low: I was then ready to sink. She has asked me questions, madam. + +Sir, sir! was all I could say. + +He himself trembled as he spoke.--Alas! my dear, he surely loves me! +Hear how solemnly he spoke--God Almighty be your director, my dear Miss +Byron! I wish not more happiness to my own soul, than I do to you.--In +discharge of a promise made, I mention this visit to you: I might +otherwise have spared you, and myself-- + +He stopt there--Then resumed; for I was silent. I could not speak--Your +friends will be entreated for a man that loves you; a very worthy young +nobleman.--I give you emotion, madam.--Forgive me.--I have performed my +promise. He turned from me with a seeming cheerful air. How could he +appear to be cheerful! + +We made parties at cards. I knew not what I played. Emily sighed, and +tears stole down her cheeks, as she played. O how she loves her +guardian! Emily, I say--I don't know what I write! + +At supper we were all very melancholy. Mr. Beauchamp was urgent to go +abroad with him. He changed the subject, and gave him an indirect +denial, as I may call it, by recommending the two Italian ladies to his +best services. + +Sir Charles, kind, good, excellent! wished to Lord L---- to have seen Mr. +Grandison!--unworthy as that man has made himself of his attention. + +He was a few moments in private with Lady Olivia. She returned to +company with red eyes. + +Poor Emily watched an opportunity to be spoken to by him alone--So +diligently!--He led her to the window--About one o'clock it was--He held +both her hands. He called her, she says, his Emily. He charged her to +write to him. + +She could not speak; she could only sob; yet thought she had a thousand +things to say to him. + +He contradicted not the hope his sisters and their lords had of his +breakfasting with them. They invited me; they invited the Italian +ladies: Lady L----, Lord L----, did go, in expectation: but Lady G----, +when she found him gone, sent me and the Italian ladies word, that he +was. It would have been cruel, if she had not. How could he steal away +so! I find, that he intended that his morning visit to me (as indeed I +half-suspected) should be a taking leave of my cousins, and your Harriet. +How many things did he say then--How many questions ask--In tender woe-- +He wanted to do us all service--He seemed not to know what to say--Surely +he hates not your poor Harriet--What struggles in his noble bosom!--But a +man cannot complain: a man cannot ask for compassion, as a woman can. +But surely his is the gentlest of manly minds! + +When we broke up, he handed my cousin Reeves into her coach. He handed +me. Mr. Reeves said, We see you again, Sir Charles, in the morning? He +bowed. At handing me in, he sighed--He pressed my hand--I think he did-- +That was all--He saluted nobody. He will not meet his Clementina as he +parted with us. + +But, I doubt not, Dr. Bartlett was in the secret. + + +He was. He has just been here. He found my eyes swelled. I had had no +rest; yet knew not, till seven o'clock, that he was gone. + +It was very good of the doctor to come: his visit soothed me: yet he took +no notice of my red eyes. Nay, for that matter, Mrs. Reeves's eyes were +swelled, as well as mine. Angel of a man! how is he beloved! + +The doctor says, that his sisters, their lords, Lord W----, are in as +much grief as if he were departed for ever--And who knows--But I will not +torment myself with supposing the worst: I will endeavour to bear in mind +what he said yesterday morning to us, no doubt for an instruction, that +he would have joy. + +And did he then think that I should be so much grieved as to want such an +instruction?--And, therefore, did he vouchsafe to give it?--But, vanity, +be quiet--Lie down, hope--Hopelesness, take place! Clementina shall be +his. He shall be hers. + +Yet his emotion, Lucy, at mentioning Lady D----'s visit--O! but that was +only owing to his humanity. He saw my emotion; and acknowledged the +tenderest friendship for me! Ought I not to be satisfied with that? I +am. I will be satisfied. Does he not love me with the love of mind? +The poor Olivia has not this to comfort herself with. The poor Olivia! +if I see her sad and afflicted, how I shall pity her! All her +expectations frustrated; the expectations that engaged her to combat +difficulties, to travel, to cross many waters, and to come to England--to +come just time enough to take leave of him; he hastening on the wings of +love and compassion to a dearer, a deservedly dearer object, in the +country she had quitted, on purpose to visit him in his--Is not hers a +more grievous situation than mine?--It is. Why, then, do I lament? + +But here, Lucy, let me in confidence hint, what I have gathered from +several intimations from Dr. Bartlett, though as tenderly made by him as +possible, that had Sir Charles Grandison been a man capable of taking +advantage of the violence of a lady's passion for him, the unhappy Olivia +would not have scrupled, great, haughty, and noble, as she is, by birth +and fortune, to have been his, without conditions, if she could not have +been so with: The Italian world is of this opinion, at least. Had Sir +Charles been a Rinaldo, Olivia had been an Armida. + +O that I could hope, for the honour of the sex, and of the lady who is so +fine a woman, that the Italian world is mistaken!--I will presume that it +is. + +My good Dr. Bartlett, will you allow me to accuse you of a virtue too +rigorous? That is sometimes the fault of very good people. You own that +Sir Charles has not, even to you, revealed a secret so disgraceful to +her. You own, that he has only blamed her for having too little regard +for her reputation, and for the violence of her temper: yet how +patiently, for one of such a temper, has she taken his departure, almost +on the day of her arrival! He could not have given her an opportunity to +indicate to him a concession so criminal: she could not, if he had, have +made the overture. Wicked, wicked world! I will not believe you! And +the less credit shall you have with me, Italian world, as I have seen the +lady. The innocent heart will be a charitable one. Lady Olivia is only +too intrepid. Prosperity, as Sir Charles observed, has been a snare to +her, and set her above a proper regard to her reputation.--Merciless +world! I do not love you. Dear Dr. Bartlett, you are not yet absolutely +perfect! These hints of yours against Olivia, gathered from the +malevolence of the envious, are proofs (the first indeed that I have met +with) of your imperfection! + +Excuse me, Lucy: how have I run on! Disappointment has mortified me, and +made me good-natured.--I will welcome adversity, if it enlarge my +charity. + +The doctor tells me, that Emily, with her half-broken heart, will be here +presently. If I can be of comfort to her--But I want it myself, from the +same cause. We shall only weep over each other. + +As I told you, the doctor, and the doctor only, knew of his setting out +so early. He took leave of him. Happy Dr. Bartlett!--Yet I see by his +eyes, that this parting cost him some paternal tears. + +Never father better loved a son than this good man loves Sir Charles +Grandison. + +Sir Charles, it seems, had settled all his affairs three days before. +His servants were appointed. + +The doctor tells me, that he had last week presented the elder Mr. Oldham +with a pair of colours, which he had purchased for him. Nobody had heard +of this. + +Lord W----, he says, is preparing for Windsor; Mr. Beauchamp for +Hampshire, for a few days; and then he returns to attend the commands of +the noble Italians. + +Lady Olivia will soon have her equipage ready. + +She will make a great appearance.--But Sir Charles Grandison will not be +with her. What is grandeur to a disturbed heart? + +The Earl of G---- and Lady Gertrude are setting out for Hertfordshire. +Lord and Lady L---- talk of retiring, for a few weeks, to Colnebrook: the +Doctor is preparing for Grandison-hall; your poor Harriet for +Northamptonshire--Bless me, my dear, what a dispersion!--But Lord W----'s +nuptials will collect some of them together at Windsor. + + +*** + + +Emily, the dear weeping girl! is just come. She is with my cousins. She +expects my permission for coming up to me. Imagine us weeping over each +other; praying for, blessing the guardian of us both. Your imagination +cannot form a scene too tender. + +Adieu, my Lucy. + + + +LETTER XXVIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +SUNDAY, APRIL 16. + + +O, what a blank, my dear!--but I need not say what I was going to say. +Poor Emily!--But, to mention her grief, is to paint my own. + +Lord W---- went to Windsor yesterday. + +A very odd behaviour of Lady Olivia. Mr. Beauchamp went yesterday, and +offered to attend her to any of the public places, at her pleasure; in +pursuance of Sir Charles's reference to him, to do all in his power to +make England agreeable to her: and she thought fit to tell him before her +aunt, that she thanked him for his civility; but she should not trouble +him during her stay in England. She had gentlemen in her train; and one +of them had been in England before-- + +He left her in disgust. + +Lady L---- making her a visit in the evening, she told her of Mr. +Beauchamp's offer, and of her answer. The gentleman, said she, is a +polite and very agreeable man; and this made me treat his kind offer with +abruptness: for I can hardly doubt your brother's view in it. I scorn +his view: and if I were sure of it, perhaps I should find a way to make +him repent of the indignity. Lady L---- was sure, she said, that neither +her brother, nor Mr. Beauchamp, had any other views than to make England +as agreeable to her as possible. + +Be this as it may, madam, said she, I have no service for Mr. Beauchamp: +but if your Ladyship, your sister, and your two lords, will allow me to +cultivate your friendship, you will do me honour. Dr. Bartlett's company +will be very agreeable to me likewise, as often as he will give it me. +To Miss Jervois I lay some little claim. I would have had her for my +companion in Italy; but your cruel brother--No more, however, of him. +Your English beauty too, I admire her: but, poor young creature, I admire +her the more, because I can pity her. I should think myself very happy +to be better acquainted with her. + +Lady L---- made her a very polite answer for herself and her sister, and +their lords: but told her, that I was very soon to set out for my own +abode in Northamptonshire; and that Dr. Bartlett had some commissions, +which would oblige him, in a day or two, to go to Sir Charles's seat in +the country. She herself offered to attend her to Windsor, and to every +other place, at her command. + +Lady L---- took notice of her wrist being bound round with a broad black +ribband, and asked, If it were hurt? A kind of sprain, said she. But +you little imagine how it came; and must not ask. + +This made Lady L---- curious. And Olivia requesting that Emily might be +allowed to breakfast with her as this morning; she has bid the dear girl +endeavour to know how it came, if it fell in her way: for Olivia +reddened, and looked up, with a kind of consciousness, to Lady L----, +when she told her that she must not ask questions about it. + +Lady G---- is very earnest with me to give into the town diversions for a +month to come: but I have now no desire in my heart so strong, as to +throw myself at the feet of my grandmamma and aunt; and to be embraced by +my Lucy and Nancy, and all my Northamptonshire friends. + +I am only afraid of my uncle. He will rally his Harriet; yet only, I +know, in hopes to divert her, and us all: but my jesting days are over: +my situation will not bear it. Yet if it will divert himself, let him +rally. + +I shall be so much importuned to stay longer than I ought, or will stay, +that I may as well fix a peremptory day at once. Will you, my ever +indulgent friends, allow me to set out for Selby-house on Friday +next? Not on a Sunday, as Lady Betty Williams advises, for fear of the +odious waggons. But I have been in a different school. Sir Charles +Grandison, I find, makes it a tacit rule with him, Never to begin a +journey on a Sunday; nor, except when in pursuit of works of mercy or +necessity, to travel in time of divine service. And this rule he +observed last Sunday, though he reached us here in the evening. O my +grandmamma! How much is he, what you all are, and ever have been!--But +he is now pursuing a work of mercy. God succeed to him the end of his +pursuit! + +But why tacit? you will ask. Is Sir Charles Grandison ashamed to make an +open appearance in behalf of his Christian duties? He is not. For +instance; I have never seen him sit down at his own table, in the absence +of Dr. Bartlett, or some other clergyman, but he himself says grace; and +that with such an easy dignity, as commands every one's reverence; and +which is succeeded by a cheerfulness that looks as if he were the better +pleased for having shewn a thankful heart. + +Dr. Bartlett has also told me, that he begins and ends every day, either +in his chamber, or in his study, in a manner worthy of one who is in +earnest in his Christian profession. But he never frights gay company +with grave maxims. I remember, one day, Mr. Grandison asked him, in his +absurd way, Why he did not preach to his company now and then? Faith, +Sir Charles, said he, if you did, you would reform many a poor ignorant +sinner of us; since you could do it with more weight, and more certainty +of attention, than any parson in Christendom. + +It would be an affront, said Sir Charles, to the understanding, as well +as education, of a man who took rank above a peasant, in such a country +as this, to seem to question whether he knew his general duties, or not, +and the necessity of practising what he knew of them. If he should be at +a loss, he may once a week be reminded, and his heart kept warm. Let you +and me, cousin Everard, shew our conviction by our practice; and not +invade the clergyman's province. + +I remember that Mr. Grandison shewed his conviction by his blushes; and +by repeating the three little words, You and me! Sir Charles. + + +*** + + +SUNDAY EVENING. + +O my dear friends! I have a strange, a shocking piece of intelligence to +give you! Emily has just been with me in tears: she begged to speak with +me in private. When we were alone, she threw her arms about my neck: Ah, +madam! said she, I am come to tell you, that there is a person in the +world that I hate, and must and will hate, as long as I live. It is Lady +Olivia.--Take me down with you into Northamptonshire, and never let me +see her more. + +I was surprised. + +O madam! I have found out, that she would, on Thursday last, have killed +my guardian. + +I was astonished, Lucy. + +They retired together, you know, madam: my guardian came from her, his +face in a glow; and he sent in his sister to her, and went not in himself +till afterwards. She would have had him put off his journey. She was +enraged because he would not; and they were high together; and, at last, +she pulled out of her stays, in fury, a poniard, and vowed to plunge it +into his heart. He should never, she said, see his Clementina more. He +went to her. Her heart failed her. Well it might, you know, madam. He +seized her hand. He took it from her. She struggled, and in struggling +her wrist was hurt; that's the meaning of the broad black ribband!-- +Wicked creature! to have such a thought in her heart!--He only said, when +he had got it from her, Unhappy, violent woman! I return not this +instrument of mischief! You will have no use for it in England--And +would not let her have it again. + +I shuddered. O my dear, said I, he has been a sufferer, we are told, by +good women; but this is not a good woman. But can it be true? Who +informed you of it? + +Lady Maffei herself. She thought that Sir Charles must have spoken of +it: and when she found he had not, she was sorry she had, and begged I +would not tell any body: but I could not keep it from you. And she says, +that Lady Olivia is grieved on the remembrance of it; and arraigns +herself and her wicked passion; and the more, for his noble forgiveness +of her on the spot, and recommending her afterwards to the civilities of +his sisters, and their lords. But I hate her, for all that. + +Poor unhappy Olivia! said I. But what, my Emily, are we women, who +should be the meekest and tenderest of the whole animal creation, when we +give way to passion! But if she is so penitent, let not the shocking +attempt be known to his sisters, or their lords. I may take the liberty +of mentioning it, in strict confidence, [observe that, Lucy,] to those +from whom I keep not any secret: but let it not be divulged to any of the +relations of Sir Charles. Their detestation of her, which must follow, +would not be concealed; and the unhappy creature, made desperate, might-- +Who knows what she might do? + +The dear girl ran on upon what might have been the consequence, and what +a loss the world would have had, if the horrid fact had been perpetrated. +Lady Maffei told her, however, that had not her heart relented, she might +have done him mischief; for he was too rash in approaching her. She fell +down on her knees to him, as soon as he had wrested the poniard from her. +I forgive, and pity you, madam, said he, with an air that had, as Olivia +and her aunt have recollected since, both majesty and compassion in it: +but, against her entreaty, he would withdraw: yet, at her request, sent +in Lady L---- to her; and, going into his study, told not even Dr. +Bartlett of it, though he went to him there immediately. + +From the consciousness of this violence, perhaps, the lady was more +temperate afterwards, even to the very time of his departure. + + +*** + + +Lord bless me, what shall I do? Lady D---- has sent a card to let me +know, that she will wait upon Mrs. Reeves and me to-marrow to breakfast. +She comes, no doubt, to tell me, that Sir Charles having no thoughts of +Harriet Byron, Lord D---- may have hopes of succeeding with her: and, +perhaps, her ladyship will plead Sir Charles's recommendation and +interest in Lord D----'s favour. But should this plea be made, good +Heaven give me patience! I am afraid I shall be uncivil to this +excellent woman. + + + +LETTER XXIX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +MONDAY, APRIL 17. + + +The countess is just gone. + +Mr. Reeves was engaged before to breakfast with Lady Betty Williams; and +we were only Mrs. Reeves, Lady D----, and I. + +My heart ached at her entrance; and every moment still more, as we were +at breakfast. Her looks, I thought, had such particular kindness and +meaning in them, as seemed to express, 'You have no hopes, Miss Byron, +any where else; and I will have you to be mine.' + +But my suspense was over the moment the tea-table was removed. I see +your confusion, my dear, said the countess: [Mrs. Reeves, you must not +leave us;] and I have sat in pain for you, as I saw it increase. By this +I know that Sir Charles Grandison has been as good as his word. Indeed I +doubted not but he would. I don't wonder, my dear, that you love him. +He is the finest man in his manners, as well as person, that I ever saw. +A woman of virtue and honour cannot but love him. But I need not praise +him to you; nor to you, neither, Mrs. Reeves; I see that. Now you must +know, proceeded she, that there is an alliance proposed for my son, of +which I think very well; but still should have thought better, had I +never seen you, my dear. I have talked to my lord about it: you know I +am very desirous to have him married. His answer was; I never can think +of any proposal of this nature, while I have any hope that I can make +myself acceptable to Miss Byron. + +What think you, my lord, said I, if I should directly apply to Sir +Charles Grandison, to know his intentions; and whether he has any hopes +of obtaining her favour? He is said to be the most unreserved of men. +He knows our characters to be as unexceptionable as his own; and that our +alliance cannot be thought a discredit to the first family in the +kingdom. It is a free question, I own; as I am unacquainted with him by +person: but he is such a man, that methinks I can take pleasure in +addressing myself to him on any subject. + +My lord smiled at the freedom of my motion; but, not disapproving it, I +directly went to Sir Charles; and, after due compliments, told him my +business. + +The countess stopt. She is very penetrating. She looked at us both. + +Well, madam, said my cousin, with an air of curiosity--Pray, your +ladyship-- + +I could not speak for very impatience-- + +I never heard in my life, said the countess, such a fine character of any +mortal, as he gave you. He told me of his engagements to go abroad as +the very next day. He highly extolled the lady for whose sake, +principally, he was obliged to go abroad; and he spoke as highly of a +brother of hers, whom he loved as if he were his own brother; and +mentioned very affectionately the young lady's whole family. + +'God only knows,' said he, 'what may be my destiny!--As generosity, as +justice, or rather as Providence, leads, I will follow.' + +After he had generously opened his heart, proceeded the countess, I asked +him, If he had any hope, should the foreign lady recover her health, of +her being his? + +'I can promise myself nothing,' said he. 'I go over without one selfish +hope. If the lady recover her health, and her brother can be amended in +his, by the assistance I shall carry over with me, I shall have joy +inexpressible. To Providence I leave the rest. The result cannot be in +my own power.' + +Then, sir, proceeded the countess, you cannot in honour be under any +engagements to Miss Byron? + +I arose from my seat. Whither, my dear?--I have done, if I oppress you. +I moved my chair behind hers, but so close to hers, that I leaned on the +back of it, my face hid, and my eyes running over. She stood up. Sit +down again, madam, said I, and proceed--Pray proceed. You have excited +my curiosity. Only let me sit here, unheeded, behind you. + +Pray, madam, said Mrs. Reeves, (burning also with curiosity, as she has +since owned,) go on; and indulge my cousin in her present seat. What +answer did Sir Charles return? + +My dear love, said the countess, (sitting down, as I had requested,) let +me first be answered one question. I would not do mischief. + +You cannot do mischief, madam, replied I. What is your ladyship's +question? + +Has Sir Charles Grandison ever directly made his addresses to you, my +dear? + +Never, madam. + +It is not for want of love, I dare aver, that he has not. But thus he +answered my question: 'I should have thought myself the unworthiest of +men, knowing the difficulties of my own situation, how great soever were +the temptation from Miss Byron's merit if I had sought to engage her +affections.' + +[O, Lucy! How nobly is his whole conduct towards me justified!] + +'She has, madam,' (proceeded the countess, in his words,) 'a prudence +that I never knew equalled in a woman so young. With a frankness of +mind, to which hardly ever young lady before her had pretensions, she has +such a command of her affections, that no man, I dare say, will ever have +a share in them, till he has courted her favour by assiduities which +shall convince her that he has no heart but for her.' + +O my Lucy! What an honour to me would these sentiments be, if I deserved +them! And can Sir Charles Grandison think I do?--I hope so. But if he +does, how much am I indebted to his favourable, his generous opinion! +Who knows but I have reason to rejoice, rather than to regret, as I used +to do, his frequent absences from Colnebrook? + +The countess proceeded. + +Then, sir, you will not take it amiss, if my son, by his assiduities, can +prevail upon Miss Byron to think that he has merit, and that his heart is +wholly devoted to her. + +'Amiss, madam!--No!--In justice, in honour, I cannot. May Miss Byron be, +as she deserves to be, one of the happiest women on earth in her +nuptials. I have heard a great character of Lord D----. He has a very +large estate. He may boast of his mother--God forbid, that I, a man +divided in myself, not knowing what I can do, hardly sometimes what I +ought to do, should seek to involve in my own uncertainties the friend I +revere; the woman I so greatly admire: her beauty so attracting; so +proper therefore for her to engage a generous protector in the married +state.' + +Generous man! thought I. O how my tears ran down my cheeks, as I hid my +face behind the countess's chair! + +But will you allow me, sir, proceeded the countess, to ask you, were you +freed from all your uncertainties-- + +'Permit me, madam,' interrupted he, 'to spare you the question you were +going to put. As I know not what will be the result of my journey +abroad, I should think myself a very selfish man, and a very +dishonourable one to two ladies of equal delicacy and worthiness, if I +sought to involve, as I hinted before, in my own uncertainties, a young +lady whose prudence and great qualities must make herself and any man +happy, whom she shall favour with her hand. + +'To be still more explicit,' proceeded he, With what face could I look up +to a woman of honour and delicacy, such a one as the lady before whom I +now stand, if I could own a wish, that, while my honour has laid me under +obligation to one lady, if she shall be permitted to accept of me, I +should presume to hope, that another, no less worthy, would hold her +favour for me suspended, till she saw what would be the issue of the +first obligation? No, madam; I could sooner die, than offer such +indignity to both! I am fettered, added he; but Miss Byron is free: and +so is the lady abroad. My attendance on her at this time, is +indispensable; but I make not any conditions for myself--My reward will +be in the consciousness of having discharged the obligations that I think +myself under, as a man of honour.' + +The countess's voice changed in repeating this speech of his: and she +stopt to praise him; and then went on. + +You are THE man, indeed, sir!--But then give me leave to ask you, as I +think it very likely that you will be married before your return to +England, Whether, now that you have been so good as to speak favourably +of my son, and that you call Miss Byron sister, you will oblige him with +a recommendation to that sister? + +'The Countess of D---- shews, by this request, her value for a young lady +who deserves it; and the more, for its being, I think, (excuse me, madam) +a pretty extraordinary one. But what a presumption would it be in me, to +suppose that I had SUCH an interest with Miss Byron, when she has +relations as worthy of her, as she is of them?' + +You may guess, my dear, said the countess, that I should not have put +this question, but as a trial of his heart. However, I asked his pardon; +and told him, that I would not believe he gave it me, except he would +promise to mention to Miss Byron, that I had made him a visit on this +subject. [Methinks, Lucy, I should have been glad that he had not let me +know that he was so forgiving!] + +And now, my dear, said the lady, let me turn about. She did; and put one +arm round my neck, and with my own handkerchief wiped my eyes, and kissed +my cheek; and when she saw me a little recovered, she addressed me as +follows: + +Now, my good young creature, [O that you would let me call you daughter +in my way! for I think I must always call you so, whether you do, or not] +let me ask you, as if I were your real mother, 'Have you any expectation +that Sir Charles Grandison will be yours?' + +Dear madam, is not this as hard a question to be put to me, as that which +you put to him? + +Yes, my dear--full as hard. And I am as ready to ask your pardon, as I +was his, if you are really displeased with me for putting it. Are you, +Miss Byron? Excuse me, Mrs. Reeves, for thus urging your lovely cousin: +I am at least entitled to the excuse Sir Charles Grandison made for me, +that it is a demonstration of my value for her. + +I have declared, madam, returned I, and it is from my heart, that I think +he ought to be the husband of the lady abroad: and though I prefer him to +all the men I ever saw, yet I have resolved, if possible, to conquer the +particular regard I have for him. He has in a very noble manner offered +me his friendship, so long as it may be accepted without interfering with +any other attachments on my part: and I will be satisfied with that. + +A friendship so pure, replied the countess, as that of such a man, is +consistent with any other attachments. My Lord D---- will, with his +whole soul, contribute all in his power to strengthen it: he admires Sir +Charles Grandison: he would think it a double honour to be acquainted +with him through you. Dearest Miss Byron, take another worthy young man +into your friendship, but with a tenderer name: I shall then claim a +fourth place in it for myself. O my dear! What a quadruple knot will +you tie! + +Your ladyship does me too much honour, was all I could just then reply. + +I must have an answer, my dear: I will not take up with a compliment. + +This, then, madam, is my answer--I hope I am an honest creature: I have +not a heart to give. + +Then you have expectations, my dear.--Well, I will call you mine, if I +can. Never did I think that I could have made the proposal, that I am +going to make you: but in my eyes, as well as in my lord's, you are an +incomparable young woman.--This is it.--We will not think of the alliance +proposed to us (it is yet but a proposal, and to which we have not +returned any answer) till we see what turn the affair Sir Charles is gone +upon, takes. You once said, you could prefer my son to any of the men +that had hitherto applied to you for your favour. Your affections to Sir +Charles were engaged before you knew us. Will you allow my son this +preference, which will be the first preference, if Sir Charles engages +himself abroad? + +Your ladyship surprises me: shall I not improve by the example you have +just now set before me? Who was it that said (and a man too) 'With what +face could I look up to a woman of honour and delicacy, such a one as the +lady before whom I now stand, if I could own a wish, that, while' my +heart leaned to one person, I should think of keeping another in suspense +till I saw whether I could or could not be the other's? 'No, madam, I +would sooner die,' as Sir Charles said, 'than offer such an indignity to +both.' But I know, madam, that you only made this proposal, as you did +another to Sir Charles Grandison, as a trial of my heart. + +Upon my word, my dear, I should, I think, be glad to be entitled to such +an excuse: but I was really in earnest; and now take a little shame to +myself. + +What charming ingenuousness in this lady! + +She clasped her arms about me, and kissed my cheek again. I have but one +plea, said she, to make for myself; I could not have fallen into such an +error, (the example so recently given to the contrary,) had I not wished +you to be, before any woman in the world, Countess of D----. Noble +creature! No title can give you dignity. May your own wishes be +granted! + +My cousin's eyes ran over with pleasure. + +The countess asked, When I returned to Northamptonshire? I told her my +intention. She charged me to see her first. But can tell you, said she, +my lord shall not be present when you come: not once more will I trust +him in your company; and if he should steal a visit, unknown to me, let +not your cousin see him, Mrs. Reeves. He does indeed admire you, love. + +I acknowledged, with a grateful heart, her goodness to me. She engaged +me to correspond with her when I got home. Her commands were an honour +done me, that I could not refuse myself. Her son, she smilingly told me, +should no more see my letters, than my person. + +At her going away--I will tell you one thing, said she: I never before, +in a business which my heart was set upon, was so effectually silenced by +a precedent produced by myself in the same conversation. I came with an +assurance of success. When our hearts are engaged in a hope, we are apt +to think every step we take for the promoting it, reasonable: Our +passions, my dear, will evermore run away with our judgment. But, now I +think of it, I must, when I say our, make two exceptions; one for you, +and one for Sir Charles Grandison. + +But, Lucy, tell me--May I, do you think, explain the meaning of the word +SELFISH used by Sir Charles in the conclusion of the library conference +at Colnebrook, (and which puzzled me then to make out,) by his +disclaiming of selfishness in the conversation with the countess above +recited? If I may, what an opening of his heart does that word give in +my favour, were he at liberty? Does it not look, my dear, as if his +honour checked him, when his love would have prompted him to wish me to +preserve my heart disengaged till his return from abroad? Nor let it be +said, that it was dishonourable in him to have such a thought, as it was +checked and overcome; and as it was succeeded by such an emotion, that he +was obliged to depart abruptly from me.--Let me repeat the words--You may +not have my letter at hand which relates that affecting address to me; +and it is impossible for me, while I have memory, to forget them. He had +just concluded his brief history of Clementina--'And now, madam, what can +I say?--Honour forbids me!--Yet honour bids me--Yet I cannot be unjust, +ungenerous, selfish!'--If I may flatter myself, Lucy, that he did love me +when he said this, and that he had a conflict in his noble heart between +the love on one side so hopeless, (for I could not forgive him, if he did +not love, as well as pity, Clementina,) and on the other not so hopeless, +were there to have been no bar between--Shall we not pity him for the +arduous struggle? Shall we not see that honour carried it, even in +favour of the hopeless against the hopeful, and applaud him the more for +being able to overcome? How shall we call virtue by its name, if it be +not tried; and if it hath no contest with inclination? + +If I am a vain self-flatterer, tell me, chide me, Lucy; but allow me, +however, at the same time, this praise, if I can make good my claim to +it, that my conquest of my passion is at least as glorious for me, as his +is for him, were he to love me ever so well; since I can most sincerely, +however painfully, subscribe to the preference which honour, love, +compassion, unitedly, give to CLEMENTINA. + + + +LETTER XXX + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +MONDAY NIGHT. + + +My cousins and I, by invitation, supped with Lady G---- this evening. +Lord and Lady L---- were there; Lady Olivia also, and Lady Maffei. + +I have set them all into a consternation, as they expressed themselves, +by my declaration of leaving London on my return home early on Friday +morning next. I knew, that were I to pass the whole summer here, I must +be peremptory at last. The two sisters vow, that I shall not go so soon. +They say, that I have seen so few of the town diversions--Town +diversions, Lucy!--I have had diversion enough, of one sort!--But in your +arms, my dear friends, I shall have consolation--And I want it. + +I have great regrets, and shall have hourly more, as the day approaches, +on the leaving of such dear and obliging friends: but I am determined. + +My cousin's coach will convey me to Dunstable; and there, I know, I shall +meet with my indulgent uncle, or your brother. I would not have it +publicly known, because of the officious gentlemen in the neighbourhood. + +Dr. Bartlett intended to set out for Grandison-hall to-morrow: but from +the natural kindness of his heart he has suspended his journey to +Thursday next. No consideration, therefore, shall detain me, if I am +well. + +My cousins are grieved: they did not expect that I would be a word and a +blow, as they phrase it. + +Lady Olivia expressed herself concerned, that she, in particular, was to +lose me. She had proposed great pleasure, she said, in the parties she +should make in my company. But, after what Emily told me, she appears to +me as a Medusa; and were I to be thought by her a formidable rival, I +might have as much reason to be afraid of the potion, as the man she +loves of the poniard. Emily has kept the secret from every body but me. +And I rely on the inviolable secrecy of all you, my friends. + +Lord and Lady L---- had designed to go to Colnebrook to-morrow, or at my +day, having hopes of getting me with them: but now, they say, they will +stay in town till they can see whether I am to be prevailed upon, or will +be obdurate. + +Lady Olivia inquired after the distance of Northamptonshire. She will +make the tour of England, she says, and visit me there. I was obliged to +say I should take her visit as an honour. + +Wicked politeness! Of how many falsehoods dost thou make the people, who +are called polite, guilty! + +But there is one man in the world, who is remarkable for his truth, yet +is unquestionably polite. He censures not others for complying with +fashions established by custom; but he gives not in to them. He never +perverts the meaning of words. He never, for instance, suffers his +servants to deny him, when he is at home. If he is busy, he just finds +time to say he is, to unexpected visiters; and if they will stay, he +turns them over to his sisters, to Dr. Bartlett, to Emily, till he can +attend them. But then he has always done so. Every one knows that he +lives to his own heart, and they expect it of him; and when they can have +his company, they have double joy in the ease and cheerfulness that +attend his leisure: they then have him wholly. And he can be the more +polite, as the company then is all his business. + +Sir Charles might the better do so, as he came over so few months ago, +after so long an absence; and his reputation for politeness was so well +established, that people rather looked for rules from him, than a +conformity to theirs. + +His denials of complimenting Lady Olivia (though she was but just arrived +in his native country, where she never was before) with the suspending of +his departure for one week, or but for one day--Who but he could have +given them? But he was convinced, that it was right to hasten away, for +the sake of Clementina and his Jeronymo; and that it would have been +wrong to shew Olivia, even for her own sake, that in such a competition +she had consequence with him; and all her entreaties, all her menaces, +the detested poniard in her hand, could not shake his steady soul, and +make him delay his well-settled purpose. + + + +LETTER XXXI + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY MORNING, APRIL 18. + + +This naughty Lady G----! She is excessively to blame. Lord L---- is out +of patience with her. So is Lady L----. Emily says, she loves her +dearly; but she does not love her ways. Lord G----, as Emily tells me, +talks of coming to me; the cause of quarrel supposed to be not great: but +trifles, insisted upon, make frequently the widest breaches. Whatever it +be, it is between themselves: and neither cares to tell: but Lord and +Lady L---- are angry with her, for the ludicrous manner in which she +treats him. + +The misunderstanding happened after my cousin and I left them last night. +I was not in spirits, and declined staying to cards. Lady Olivia and her +aunt went away at the same time. Whist was the game. Lord and Lady +L----, Dr. Bartlett and Emily, were cast in. In the midst of their play, +Lady G---- came hurrying down stairs to them, warbling an air. Lord +G---- followed her, much disturbed. Madam, I must tell you, said he--Why +MUST, my lord? I don't bid you. + +Sit still, child, said she to Emily; and took her seat behind her--Who +wins? Who loses? + +Lord G---- walked about the room--Lord and Lady L---- were unwilling to +take notice, hoping it would go off; for there had been a few +livelinesses on her side at dinner-time, though all was serene at supper. + +Dr. Bartlett offered her his cards. She refused them--No, doctor, said +she, I will play my own cards: I shall have enough to do to play them +well. + +As you manage it, so you will, madam, said Lord G----. + +Don't expose yourself, my lord: we are before company. Lady L----, you +have nothing but trumps in your hand. + +Let me say a word or two to you, madam, said Lord G---- to her. + +I am all obedience, my lord. + +She arose. He would have taken her hand: she put it behind her. + +Not your hand, madam? + +I can't spare it. + +He flung from her, and went out of the room. + +Lord bless me, said she, returning to the card-table with a gay +unconcern, what strange passionate creatures are these men! + +Charlotte, said Lady L----, I wonder at you. + +Then I give you joy-- + +What do you mean, sister?-- + +We women love wonder, and the wonderful! + +Surely, Lady G----, said Lord L----, you are wrong. + +I give your lordship joy, too. + +On what? + +That my sister is always right. + +Indeed, madam, were I Lord G----, I should have no patience. + +A good hint for you, Lady L----. I hope you will take this for a +warning, and be good. + +When I behave as you do, Charlotte-- + +I understand you, Lady L----, you need not speak out--Every one in their +way. + +You would not behave thus, were my brother-- + +Perhaps not. + +Dear Charlotte, you are excessively wrong. + +So I think, returned she. + +Why then do you not-- + +Mend, Lady L----? All in good time. + +Her woman came in with a message, expressing her lord's desire to see +her.--The deuce is in these men! They will neither be satisfied with us, +nor without us. But I am all obedience: no vow will I break--And out she +went. + +Lord G---- not returning presently, and Lord and Lady L----'s chariot +being come, they both took this opportunity, in order to shew their +displeasure, to go away without taking leave of their sister. Dr. +Bartlett retired to his apartment. And when Lady G---- came down, she +was surprised, and a little vexed, to find only Emily there. Lord G---- +came in at another door--Upon my word, my Lord, this is strange behaviour +in you: you fright away, with your husband-like airs, all one's company. + +Good God!--I am astonished at you, madam. + +What signifies your astonishment?--when you have scared every body out of +the house. + +I, madam! + +You, sir! Yes, you!--Did you not lord it over me in my dressing-room?-- +To be easy and quiet, did I not fly to our company in the drawing-room? +Did you not follow me there--with looks--very pretty looks for a +new-married man, I assure you! Then did you not want to take me aside-- +Would not anybody have supposed it was to express your sorrow for your +odd behaviour? Was I not all obedience?--Did you not, with very mannish +airs, slight me for my compliance, and fly out of the room? All the +company could witness the calmness with which I returned to them, that +they might not be grieved for me; nor think our misunderstanding a deep +one. Well, then, when your stomach came down, as I supposed, you sent +for me out: no doubt, thought I, to express his concern now.--I was all +obedience again. + +And did I not beseech you, madam-- + +Beseech me, my lord!--Yes--But with such looks!--I married, sir, let me +tell you, a man with another face--See, see, Emily--He is gone again.-- + +My lord flew out of the room in a rage.--O these men, my dear! said she +to Emily. + +I know, said Emily, what I could have answered, if I dared: but it is ill +meddling, as I have heard say, between man and wife. + +Emily says, the quarrel was not made up; but was carried higher still in +the morning. + +She had but just finished her tale, when the following billet was brought +me, from Lady G----: + + +*** + + +TUESDAY MORNING. + + +Harriet, + +If you love me, if you pity me, come hither this instant: I have great +need of your counsel. I am resolved to be unmarried; and therefore +subscribe myself by the beloved name of + +CHARLOTTE GRANDISON. + + +*** + + +I instantly dispatched the following: + +I Know no such person as Charlotte Grandison. I love Lady G----, but can +pity only her lord. I will not come near you. I have no counsel to give +you, but that you will not jest away your own happiness. + +HARRIET BYRON. + + +*** + + +In half an hour after, came a servant from Lady G---- with the following +letter: + +So, then, I have made a blessed hand of wedlock. My brother gone: my man +excessive unruly: Lord and Lady L---- on his side, without inquiring into +merits, or demerits: lectured by Dr. Bartlett's grave face: Emily +standing aloof; her finger in her eye: and now my Harriet renouncing me: +and all in one week! + +What can I do?--War seems to be declared: and will you not turn +mediatrix?--You won't, you say. Let it alone. Nevertheless, I will lay +the whole matter before you. + +It was last night, the week from the wedding-day not completed, that Lord +G---- thought fit to break into my retirement without my leave--By the +way, he was a little impertinent at dinner-time; but that I passed +over-- + +What boldness is this? said I--Pray, Sir, begone--Why leave you your +company below? + +I come, my dearest life! to make a request to you. + +The man began with civility enough, had he had a little less of his +odious rapture; for he flung his arms about me, Jenny in presence. A +husband's fondness is enough to ruin these girls. Don't you think, +Harriet, that there is an immorality in it, before them? + +I refuse your request, be it what it will. How dare you invade me in my +retirement?--You may believe, that I intended not to stay long above, my +sister below. Does the ceremony, so lately past, authorize want of +breeding? + +Want of breeding, madam!--And he did so stare! + +Leave me, this instant!--I looked good-natured, I suppose, in my anger; +for he declared he would not; and again throwing his arms about me as I +sat, joined his sharp face to mine, and presumed to kiss me; Jenny still +in the room. + +Now, Harriet, you never will desert me in a point of delicacy, I am sure. +You cannot defend these odious freedoms in a matrimony so young, unless +you would be willing to be served so yourself. + +You may suppose, that then I let loose my indignation upon him. And he +stole out, daring to mutter, and be displeased. The word devil was in +his mouth. + +Did he call me devil, Jenny? + +No, indeed, madam, said the wench--And, Harriet, see the ill example of +such a free behaviour before her: she presumed to prate in favour of the +man's fit of fondness; yet, at other times, is a prude of a girl. + +Before my anger was gone down, in again [It is truth, Harriet,] came the +bold wretch. I will not, said he, as you are not particularly employed, +leave you--Upon my soul, madam, you don't use me well. But if you will +oblige me with your company tomorrow morning-- + +No where, Sir-- + +Only to breakfast with Miss Byron, my dear--As a mark of your +obligingness, I request it. + +His dear!--Now I hate a hypocrite, of all things. I knew that he had a +design to make a shew of his bride, as his property, at another place; +and seeing me angry, thought he would name a visit agreeable to me, and +which at the same time would give him a merit with you, and preserve to +himself the consequence of being obliged by his obedient wife, at the +word of authority. + +From this foolish beginning arose our mighty quarrel. What vexed me was, +the art of the man, and the evident design he had to get you of his side. +He, in the course of it, threatened me with appealing to you.--To intend +to ruin me in the love of my dearest friend! Who, that valued that +friend, could forgive it? You may believe, that if he had not proposed +it, and after such accumulated offences, it was the very visit that I +should have been delighted with. + +Indeed, Sir--Upon my word, my lord--I do assure you, sir,--with a +moderate degree of haughtiness--was what the quarrel arose to, on my +side--And, at last, to a declaration of rebellion--I won't. + +On his side, Upon my soul, madam--Let me perish, if--and then hesitating +--You use me ill, madam. I have not deserved--And give me leave to say-- +I insist upon being obliged, madam. + +There was no bearing of this, Harriet.--It was a cool evening; but I took +up my fan--Hey-day! said I, what language is this?--You insist upon it, +my lord!--I think I am married; am I not?--And I took my watch, half an +hour after ten on Monday night--the--what day of the month is this?-- +Please the lord, I will note down this beginning moment of your +authoritative demeanour. + +My dear Lady G----, [The wretch called me by his own name, perhaps +farther to insult me,] if I could bear this treatment, it is impossible +for me to love you as I do. + +So it is in love to me, that you are to put on already all the husband!-- +Jenny! [Do you see, my lord, affecting a whisper, how you dash the poor +wench? How like a fool she looks at our folly!] Remember, Jenny, that +to-morrow morning you carry my wedding-suits to Mrs. Arnold; and tell +her, she has forgot the hanging-sleeves to the gowns. Let her put them +on out of hand. + +I was proceeding--But he rudely, gravely, and even with an air of scorn, +[There was no bearing that, you know,] admonished me. A little less wit, +madam, and a little more discretion, would perhaps better become you. + +This was too true to be forgiven. You'll say it, Harriet, if I don't. +And to come from a man that was not overburdened with either--But I had +too great a command of myself to say so. My dependence, my lord, [This I +did say,] is upon your judgment: that will always be a balance to my wit; +and, with the assistance of your reproving love, will in time teach me +discretion. + +Now, my dear, was not this a high compliment to him? Ought he not to +have taken it as such? Especially as I looked grave, and dropt him a +very fine courtesy. But either his conscience or his ill-nature, +(perhaps you'll say both,) made him take it as a reflection, [True as you +are alive, Harriet!] He bit his lip. Jenny, begone, said he--Jenny, +don't go, said I--Jenny knew not which to obey. Upon my word, Harriet, I +began to think the man would have cuffed me.--And while he was in his +airs of mock-majesty, I stept to the door, and whipt down to my company. + +As married people are not to expose themselves to their friends, (who I +once heard you sagely remark, would remember disagreeable things, when +the honest pair had forgotten them,) I was determined to be prudent. +You would have been charmed with me, my dear, for my discretion. I will +cheat by-standers, thought I; I will make my Lord and Lady L----, Dr. +Bartlett, and Emily, whom I had before set in at cards, think we are +egregiously happy--And down I sat, intending, with a lamb-like +peaceableness, to make observations on the play. But soon after, in +whipt my indiscreet lord, his colour heightened, his features working: +and though I cautioned him not to expose himself, yet he assumed airs +that were the occasion, as you shall hear, of frightening away my +company. He withdrew, in consequence of those airs; and, after a little +while, (repenting, as I hoped,) he sent for me out. Some wives would +have played the queen Vashti on their tyrant, and refused to go: but I, +all obedience, (my vow, so recently made, in my head,) obeyed, at the +very first word: yet you must think that I (meek as I am naturally) could +not help recriminating. He was too lordly to be expostulated with.-- +There was, 'I tell you, madam,' and 'I won't be told, sir;' and when I +broke from the passionate creature, and hoped to find my company, behold! +they were all gone! None but Emily left. And thus might poor Lady L---- +be sent home, weeping, perhaps, for such an early marriage-tyranny +exerted on her meek sister. + +Well, and don't you think that we looked like a couple of fools at each +other, when we saw ourselves left alone, as I may say, to fight it out? +I did expostulate with him as mildly as I could: he would have made it up +with me afterwards; but, no! there was no doing that, as a girl of your +nice notions may believe, after he had, by his violent airs, exposed us +both before so many witnesses. In decency, therefore, I was obliged to +keep it up: and now our misunderstanding blazes, and is at such a +comfortable height, that if we meet by accident, we run away from each +other by design. We have already made two breakfast-tables: yet I am +meek; he is sullen: I make courtesies; he returns not bows.--Sullen +creature, and a rustic!--I go to my harpsichord; melody enrages him. He +is worse than Saul; for Saul could be gloomily pleased with the music +even of the man he hated. + +I would have got you to come to us: that I thought was tending to a +compliance; for it would have been condescending too much, as he is so +very perverse, if I had accompanied him to you. He has a great mind to +appeal to you; but I have half rallied him out of his purpose. I sent to +you. What an answer did you return me!--Cruel Harriet! to deny your +requested mediation in a difference that has arisen between man and wife. +--But let the fire glow. If it spares the house, and only blazes in the +chimney, I can bear it. + +Cross creature, adieu! If you know not such a woman as Grandison, Heaven +grant that I may; and that my wishes may be answered as to the person; +and then I will not know a Byron. + + +See, Lucy, how high this dear flighty creature bribes! But I will not be +influenced, by her bribery, to take her part. + + + +LETTER XXXII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +TUESDAY NIGHT. + + +I am just returned from St. James's-square. + +But, first, I should tell you, that I had a visit from Lady Olivia and +Lady Maffei. Our conversation was in Italian and French. Lady Olivia +and I had a quarter of an hour's discourse in private: you may guess at +our subject. She is not without that tenderness of heart which is the +indispensable characteristic of a woman. She lamented the violence of +her temper, in a manner so affecting, that I cannot help pitying her, +though at the instant I had in my head a certain attempt, that makes me +shudder whenever I think of it. She regrets my going to Northamptonshire +so soon. I have promised to return her visit to-morrow in the afternoon. + +She sets out on Friday next for Oxford. She wished I could accompany +her. She resolves to see all that is worth seeing in the western +circuit, as I may call it. She observes, she says, that Sir Charles +Grandison's sisters, and their lords, are very particularly engaged at +present; and are in expectation of a call to Windsor, to attend Lord +W----'s nuptials: she will therefore, having attendants enough, and two +men of consideration in her train, one of whom is not unacquainted with +England, take cursory tours over the kingdom; having a taste for +travelling, and finding it a great relief to her spirits: and when Lady +L---- and Lady G---- are more disengaged, will review the seats and +places which she shall think worthy of a second visit, in their company. + +She professed to like the people here, and the face of the country; and +talked favourably of the religion of it: but, poor woman! she likes all +those the better, I doubt not, for the sake of one Englishman. Love, +Lucy, gilds every object which bears a relation to the person beloved. + +Lady Maffei was very free in blaming her niece for this excursion. She +took her chiding patiently; but yet, like a person that thought it too +much in her power to gratify the person blaming her, to pay much regard +to what she said. + +I took a chair to Lady G----'s. Emily ran to meet me in the hall. She +threw her arms about me: I rejoice you are come, said she. Did you not +meet the house in the square?--What means my Emily?--Why, it has been +flung out of the windows, as the saying is. Ah madam! we are all to +pieces. One so careless, the other so passionate!--But, hush! Here +comes Lady G----. + +Take, Lucy, in the dialogue-way, particulars. + +LADY G. Then you are come, at last, Harriet. You wrote, that you +would not come near me. + +HAR. I did; but I could not stay away. Ah, Lady G----, you will +destroy your own happiness! + +LADY G. So you wrote. Not one word, on the subject you hint at, that +you have ever said or written before. I hate repetitions, child. + +HAR. Then I must be silent upon it. + +LADY G. Not of necessity. You can say new things upon old subjects.-- +But hush! Here comes the man.--She ran to her harpsichord--Is this it, +Harriet? and touched the keys--repeating + + "Softly sweet, in Lydian measures, + Soon she sooth'd---- ----" + + +ENTER LORD G. + + +LORD G. Miss Byron, I am your most obedient servant. The sight of you +rejoices my soul.--Madam (to his lady), you have not been long enough +together to begin a tune. I know what this is for-- + +LADY G. Harmony! harmony! is a charming thing! But I, poor I! know not +any but what this simple instrument affords me. + +LORD G. [Lifting up his hands.] Harmony, madam! God is my witness-- +But I will lay every thing before Miss Byron. + +LADY G. You need not, my lord: she knows as much as she can know, +already; except the fine colourings be added to the woeful tale, that +your unbridled spirit can give it.--Have you my long letter about you, +Harriet? + +LORD G. And could you, madam, have the heart to write-- + +LADY G. Why, my lord, do you mince the matter? For heart, say +courage. You may speak as plain in Miss Byron's presence, as you did +before she came: I know what you mean. + +LORD G. Let it be courage, then. + +HAR. Fie, fie, Lord G----! Fie, fie, Lady G----! What lengths do you +run! If I understand the matter right, you have both, like children, +been at play, till you have fallen out. + +LORD G. If, Miss Byron, you know the truth, and can blame me-- + +HAR. I blame you only, my lord, for being in a passion. You see, my +lady is serene: she keeps her temper: she looks as if she wanted to be +friends with you. + +LORD G. O that cursed serenity!--When my soul is torn by a +whirlwind-- + +LADY G. A good tragedy rant!--But, Harriet, you are mistaken: My Lord +G---- is a very passionate man. So humble, so--what shall I call it? +before marriage--Did not the man see what a creature I was?--To bear with +me, when he had no obligation to me; and not now, when he has the +highest--A miserable sinking!--O Harriet, Harriet! Never, never marry! + +HAR. Dear Lady G----, you know in your own heart you are wrong--Indeed +you are wrong-- + +LORD G. God for ever reward you, madam!--I will tell you how it +began-- + +LADY G. 'Began!' She knows that already, I tell you, my lord. But +what has passed within these four hours, she knows not: you may entertain +her with that, if you please.--It was just about the time this day is a +week, that we were altogether, mighty comfortably, at St. George's, +Hanover-square-- + +LORD G. Every tittle of what you promised there, madam-- + +LADY G. And I, my lord, could be your echo in this, were I not resolved +to keep my temper, as you cannot but say I have done, all along. + +LORD G. You could not, madam, if you did not despise me. + +LADY G. You are wrong, my lord, to think so: but you don't believe +yourself: if you did, the pride of your heart ought not to permit you to +own it. + +LORD G. Miss Byron, give me leave-- + +LADY G. Lord bless me! that people are so fond of exposing themselves! +Had you taken my advice, when you pursued me out of my dressing-room into +company--My lord, said I, as mildly as I now speak, Don't expose +yourself. But he was not at all the wiser for my advice. + +LORD G. Miss Byron, you see--But I had not come down but to make my +compliments to you. He bowed, and was about to withdraw. + +I took him by the sleeve--My lord, you must not go. Lady G----, if your +own heart justifies you for your part in this misunderstanding, say so; I +challenge you to say so.--She was silent. + +HAR. If otherwise, own your fault, promise amendment--ask pardon. + +LADY G. Hey-day! + +HAR. And my lord will ask yours, for mistaking you--For being too +easily provoked-- + +LORD G. Too easily, madam-- + +HAR. What generous man would not smile at the foibles of a woman whose +heart is only gay with prosperity and lively youth; but has not the least +malice in it? Has not she made choice of your lordship in preference of +any other man? She rallies every one; she can't help it: she is to +blame.--Indeed, Lady G----, you are. Your brother felt your edge; he +once smarted by it, and was angry with you.--But afterwards, observing +that it was her way, my lord; that it was a kind of constitutional gaiety +of heart, and exercised on those she loved best; he forgave, rallied her +again, and turned her own weapons upon her; and every one in company was +delighted with the spirit of both.--You love her, my lord. + +LORD G. Never man more loved a woman. I am not an ill-natured man-- + +LADY G. But a captious, a passionate one, Lord G----. Who'd have +thought it? + +LORD G. Never was there, my dear Miss Byron, such a +strangely-aggravating creature! She could not be so, if she did not +despise me. + +LADY G. Fiddle-faddle, silly man! And so you said before. If you +thought so, you take the way, (don't you?) to mend the matter, by dancing +and capering about, and putting yourself into all manner of disagreeable +attitudes; and even sometimes being ready to foam at the mouth?--I told +him, Miss Byron, There he stands, let him deny it, if he can; that I +married a man with another face. Would not any other man have taken this +for a compliment to his natural undistorted face, and instantly have +pulled off the ugly mask of passion, and shewn his own?-- + +LORD G. You see, you see, the air, Miss Byron!--How ludicrously does +she now, even now-- + +LADY G. See, Miss Byron!--How captious!--Lord G---- ought to have a +termagant wife: one who could return rage for rage. Meekness is my +crime.--I cannot be put out of temper.--Meekness was never before +attributed to woman as a fault. + +LORD G. Good God!--Meekness!--Good God! + +LADY G. But, Harriet, do you judge on which side the grievance lies.-- +Lord G---- presents me with a face for his, that I never saw him wear +before marriage: He has cheated me, therefore. I shew him the same face +that I ever wore, and treat him pretty much in the same manner (or I am +mistaken) that I ever did: and what reason can he give, that will not +demonstrate him to be the most ungrateful of men, for the airs he gives +himself? Airs that he would not have presumed to put on eight days ago. +Who then, Harriet, has reason to complain of grievance; my lord, or I? + +LORD G. You see, Miss Byron--Can there be any arguing with a woman who +knows herself to be in jest, in all she says? + +HAR. Why then, my lord, make a jest of it. What will not bear an +argument, will not be worth one's anger. + +LORD G. I leave it to Miss Byron, Lady G----, to decide between us, as +she pleases. + +LADY G. You'd better leave it to me, sir. + +HAR. Do, my lord. + +LORD G. Well, madam!--And what is your decree? + +LADY G. You, Miss Byron, had best be Lady Chancellor, after all. I +should not bear to have my decree disputed, after it is pronounced. + +HAR. If I must, my decree is this:--You, Lady G---- shall own yourself +in fault; and promise amendment. My lord shall forgive you; and promise +that he will, for the future, endeavour to distinguish between your good +and your ill-nature: that he will sit down to jest with your jest, and +never be disturbed at what you say, when he sees it accompanied with that +archness of eye and lip which you put on to your brother, and to every +one whom you best love, when you are disposed to be teazingly facetious. + +LADY G. Why, Harriet, you have given Lord G---- a clue to find me out, +and spoil all my sport. + +HAR. What say you, my lord? + +LORD G. Will Lady G---- own herself in fault, as you propose? + +LADY G. Odious recrimination!--I leave you together. I never was in +fault in my life. Am I not a woman? If my lord will ask pardon for his +froppishness, as we say of children-- + +She stopt, and pretended to be going-- + +HAR. That my lord shall not do, Charlotte. You have carried the jest +too far already. My lord shall preserve his dignity for his wife's sake. +My lord, you will not permit Lady G---- to leave us, however? + +He took her hand, and pressed it with his lips: for God's sake, madam, +let us be happy: it is in your power to make us both so: it ever shall be +in your power. If I have been in fault, impute it to my love. I cannot +bear your contempt; and I never will deserve it. + +LADY G. Why could not this have been said some hours ago?--Why, +slighting my early caution, would you expose yourself? + +I took her aside. Be generous, Lady G----. Let not your husband be the +only person to whom you are not so. + +LADY G. [Whispering.] Our quarrel has not run half its length. If we +make up here, we shall make up clumsily. One of the silliest things in +the world is, a quarrel that ends not, as a coachman after a journey +comes in, with a spirit. We shall certainly renew it. + +HAR. Take the caution you gave to my lord: don't expose yourself. And +another; that you cannot more effectually do so, than by exposing your +husband. I am more than half-ashamed of you. You are not the Charlotte +I once thought you were. Let me see, if you have any regard to my good +opinion of you, that you can own an error with some grace. + +LADY G. I am a meek, humble, docile creature. She turned to me, and +made me a rustic courtesy, her hands before her: I'll try for it: tell +me, if I am right. Then stepping towards my lord, who was with his back +to us looking out at the window--and he turning about to her bowing--My +lord, said she, Miss Byron has been telling me more than I knew before of +my duty. She proposes herself one day to make a won-der-ful obedient +wife. It would have been well for you, perhaps, had I had her example to +walk by. She seems to say, that, now I am married, I must be grave, +sage, and passive: that smiles will hardly become me: that I must be prim +and formal, and reverence my husband.--If you think this behaviour will +become a married woman, and expect it from me, pray, my lord, put me +right by your frowns, whenever I shall be wrong. For the future, if I +ever find myself disposed to be very light-hearted, I will ask your leave +before I give way to it. And now, what is next to be done? humorously +courtesying, her hands before her. + +He clasped her in his arms: dear provoking creature! This, this is next +to be done--I ask you but to love me half as much as I love you, and I +shall be the happiest man on earth. + +My lord, said I, you ruin all by this condescension on a speech and air +so ungracious. If this is all you get by it, never, never, my lord, fall +out again. O Charlotte! If you are not generous, you come off much, +much too easily. + +Well now, my lord, said she, holding out her hand, as if threatening me, +let you and me, man and wife like, join against the interposer in our +quarrels.--Harriet, I will not forgive you, for this last part of your +lecture. + +And thus was this idle quarrel made up. All that vexes me on the +occasion is, that it was not made up with dignity on my lord's part. +His honest heart so overflowed with joy at his lips, that the naughty +creature, by her arch leers, every now and then, shewed, that she was +sensible of her consequence to his happiness. But, Lucy, don't let her +sink too low in your esteem: she has many fine qualities. + +They prevailed on me to stay supper. Emily rejoiced in the +reconciliation: her heart was, as I may say, visible in her joy. Can I +love her better than I do? If I could, she would, every time I see her, +give me reason for it. + + + +LETTER XXXIII + +MISS BYRON.--IN CONTINUATION +WEDNESDAY NOON, APRIL 19. + + +It would puzzle you to guess at a visitor I had this morning.--Honest Mr. +Fowler. I was very glad to see him. He brought me a Letter from his +worthy uncle. Good Sir Rowland! I had a joy that I thought I should not +have had while I stayed in London, on its being put into my hand, though +the contents gave me sensible pain. I enclose it. It is dated from +Caermarthen. Be pleased to read it here. + + +*** + + +CAERMARTHEN, APRIL 11. + +How shall I, in fit manner, inscribe my letter to the loveliest of women! +I don't mean because of your loveliness; but whether as daughter or not, +as you did me the honour to call yourself. Really, and truly, I must +say, that I had rather call you by another name, though a little more +remote as to consanguinity. Lord have mercy upon me, how have I talked +of you! How many of our fine Caermarthen girls have I filled with envy +of your peerless perfections! + +Here am I settled to my heart's content, could I but obtain--You know +whom I mean.--A town of gentry: A fine country round us--A fine estate of +our own. Esteemed, nay, for that matter, beloved, by all our neighbours +and tenants. Who so happy as Rowland Meredith, if his poor boy could be +happy!--Ah, madam!--And can't it be so? I am afraid of asking. Yet I +understand, that, notwithstanding all the jack-a-dandies that have been +fluttering about you, you are what you were when I lest town. Some +whispers have gone out of a fine gentleman, indeed, who had a great +kindness for you; but yet that something was in the way between you. The +Lord bless and prosper my dear daughter, as I must then call you, and not +niece, if you have any kindness for him. And if as how you have, it +would be wonderfully gracious if you would but give half a hint of it to +my nephew, or if so be you will not to him, to me, your father you know, +under your own precious hand. The Lord be good unto me! But I shall +never see the she that will strike my fancy, as you have done. But what +a dreadful thing would it be, if you, who are so much courted and admired +by many fine gallants, should at last be taken with a man who could not +be yours! God forbid that such a disastrous thing should happen! I +profess to you, madam, that a tear or two have strayed down my cheeks at +the thoughts of it. For why? Because you played no tricks with any man: +you never were a coquette, as they call them. You dealt plainly, +sincerely, and tenderly too, to all men; of which my nephew and I can +bear witness. + +Well, but what now is the end of my writing?--Lord love you, cannot, +cannot you at last give comfort to two honest hearts? Honester you never +knew! And yet, if you could, I dare say you would. Well, then, and if +you can't, we must sit down as contented as we can; that's all we have +for it.--But, poor young man! Look at him, if you read this before him. +Strangely altered! Poor young man!--And if as how you cannot, why then, +God bless my daughter; that's all. And I do assure you, that you have +our prayers every Lord's day, from the bottom of our hearts. + +And now, if you will keep a secret, I will tell it you; and yet, when I +began, I did not intend it: the poor youth must not know it. It is done +in the singleness of our hearts; and if you think we mean to gain your +love for us by it, I do assure you, that you wrong us.--My nephew +declares, that he never will marry, if it be not somebody: and he has +made his will, and so have I his uncle; and, let me tell you, that if as +how I cannot have a niece, my daughter shall be the better for having +known, and treated as kindly, as power was lent her, + +Her true friend, loving father, and obedient servant, +ROWLAND MEREDITH. + +Love and service to Mr. and Mrs. Reeves, and all friends who inquire + after me. Farewell. God bless you! Amen. + + +*** + + +Have you, could you, Lucy, read this letter with dry eyes? Generous, +worthy, honest men! I read but half way before Mr. Fowler--Glad I was, +that I read no further. I should not have been able to have kept his +uncle's secret, if I had; had it been but to disclaim the acceptance of +the generous purpose. The carrying it into effect would exceedingly +distress me, besides the pain the demise of the honest man would give me; +and the more, as I bespoke the fatherly relation from him myself. If +such a thing were to be, Sir Charles Grandison's generosity to the Danbys +should be my example. + +Do you know, Mr. Fowler, said I, the contents of the letter you have put +into my hand? + +No farther than that my uncle told me, it contained professions of +fatherly love; and with wishes only--But without so much as expressing +his hopes. + +Sir Rowland is a good man, said I: I have not read above half his letter. +There seems to be too much of the father in it, for me to read further, +before my brother. God bless my brother Fowler, and reward the fatherly +love of Sir Rowland to his daughter Byron! I must write to him. + +Mr. Fowler, poor man! profoundly sighed; bowed; with such a look of +respectful acquiescence--Bless me, my dear, how am I to be distressed on +all sides! by good men too; as Sir Charles could say by good women. + +Is there nothing less than giving myself to either, that I can do to shew +Mr. Orme and Mr. Fowler my true value for them? + +Poor Mr. Fowler!--Indeed he looks to be, as Sir Rowland hints, not well. +--Such a modest, such a humble, such a silent lover!--He cost me tears at +parting: I could not hide them. He heaped praises and blessings upon me, +and hurried away at last, to hide his emotion, with a sentence +unfinished.--God preserve you, dear and worthy sir! was all I could try +to say. The last words stuck in my throat, till he was out of hearing; +and then I prayed for blessings upon him and his uncle: and repeated +them, with fresh tears, on reading the rest of the affecting letter. + +Mr. Fowler told Mr. Reeves, before I saw him, that he is to go to +Caermarthen for the benefit of his native air, in a week. He let him +know where he lodged in town. He had been riding for his health and +diversion about the country, ever since his uncle went; and has not been +yet at Caermarthen. + +I wish Mr. Fowler had once, if but once, called me sister: it would have +been such a kind acquiescence, as would have given me some little +pleasure on recollection. Methinks I don't know how to have done writing +of Sir Rowland and Mr. Fowler. + +I sat down, however, while the uncle and nephew filled my thoughts, and +wrote to the former. I have enclosed the copy of my letter. + +Adieu, my Lucy. + + + +LETTER XXXIV + +MISS BYRON, TO SIR ROWLAND MEREDITH +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19. + + +It was with great pleasure that I received, this day, the kindest Letter +that ever was written by a real father to his dearest child. I was +resolved that I would not go to rest till I had acknowledged the favour. + +How sweet is the name of father to a young person who, out of near +one-and-twenty years of life, has for more than half the time been +bereaved of hers; and who was also one of the best of men! + +You gave me an additional pleasure in causing this remembrance of your +promised paternal goodness to be given me by Mr. Fowler in person. Till +I knew you and him, I had no father, no brother. + +How good you are in your apprehensions that there may be a man on whom +your daughter has cast her eye, and who cannot look upon her with the +same distinction--O that I had been near you when you wrote that +sweetly-compassionating, that indulgent passage! I would have wiped the +tears from your eyes myself, and reverenced you as my true father. + +You demand of me, as my father, a hint, or half a hint, as you call it, +to be given to my brother Fowler; or if not to him, to you. To him, whom +I call father, I mean all the duty of a child. I call him not father +nominally only: I will, irksome as the subject is, own, without reserve, +the truth to you--[In tenderness to my brother, how could I to him?]-- +There is a man whom, and whom only, I could love as a good wife ought to +love her husband. He is the best of men. O my good Sir Rowland +Meredith! if you knew him, you would love him yourself, and own him for +your son. I will not conceal his name from my father: Sir Charles +Grandison is the man. Inquire about him. His character will rise upon +you from every mouth. He engaged first all your daughter's gratitude, by +rescuing her from a great danger and oppression; for he is as brave as he +is good: and how could she help suffering a tenderness to spring up from +her gratitude, of which she was never before sensible to any man in the +world? There is something in the way, my good sir; but not that proceeds +from his slights or contempts. Your daughter could not live, if it were +so. A glorious creature is in the way! who has suffered for him, who +does suffer for him: he ought to be hers, and only hers; and if she can +be recovered from a fearful malady that has seized her mind, he probably +will. My daily prayers are, that God will restore her! + +But yet, my dear sir, my friend, my father! my esteem for this noblest of +men is of such a nature, that I cannot give my hand to any other: my +father Meredith would not wish me to give a hand without a heart. + +This, sir, is the case. Let it, I beseech you, rest within your own +breast, and my brother Fowler's. How few minds are there delicate and +candid enough to see circumstances of this kind in the light they ought +to appear in! And pray for me, my good Sir Rowland; not that the way may +be smoothed to what once would have crowned my wishes as to this life; +but that Sir Charles Grandison may be happy with the lady that is, and +ought to be, dearest to his heart; and that your daughter may be enabled +to rejoice in their felicity. What, my good sir, is this span of life, +that a passenger through it should seek to overturn the interests of +others to establish her own? And can the single life be a grievance? +Can it be destitute of the noblest tendernesses? No, sir. You that have +lived to an advanced age, in a fair fame, surrounded with comforts, and +as tender to a worthy nephew, as the most indulgent father could be to +the worthiest of sons, can testify for me, that it is not. + +But now, sir, one word--I disclaim, but yet in all thankfulness, the +acceptance of the favour signified to be intended me in the latter part +of the paternal letter before me. Our acquaintance began with a hope, on +your side, that I could not encourage. As I could not, shall I accept of +the benefit from you, to which I could only have been entitled (and that +as I had behaved) had I been able to oblige you?--No, sir! I will not, +in this case, be benefited, when I cannot benefit. Put me not therefore, +I beseech you, sir, if such an event (deplored by me, as it would be!) +should happen, upon the necessity of inquiring after your other relations +and friends. Sir Rowland Meredith my father, and Mr. Fowler my brother, +are all to me of the family they distinguish by their relation, that I +know at present. Let me not be made known to the rest by a distinction +that would be unjust to them, and to yourself, as it must deprive you of +the grace of obliging those who have more than a stranger's claim; and +must, in the event, lay them under the appearance of an obligation to +that stranger for doing them common justice. + +I use the word stranger with reference to those of your family and +friends to whom I must really appear in that light. But, laying these +considerations aside, in which I am determined not to interfere with +them, I am, with the tenderest regard, dear and good sir, + +Your ever-dutiful and affectionate daughter, +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XXXV + +MISS BYRON, TO MISS SELBY +WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19. + + +I shall dispatch this by your Gibson early in the morning. It was kind +in you to bid him call, in his way down; for now I shall be almost sure +of meeting (if not my uncle) your brother, and who knows, but my Lucy +herself, at Dunstable? Where, barring accidents, I shall be on Friday +night. + +You will see some of the worthiest people in the world, my dear, if you +come, all prepared to love you: but let not any body be put to +inconvenience to meet me at Dunstable. My noble friends here will +proceed with me to Stratford, or even to Northampton, they say; but they +will see me safe in the protection of somebody I love, and whom they must +love for my sake. + +I don't wonder that Sir Charles Grandison loves Mr. Beauchamp: he is a +very worthy and sensible man. He, as every body else, idolizes Sir +Charles. It is some pleasure to me, Lucy, that I stand high in his +esteem. To be respected by the worthy, is one of the greatest felicities +in this life; since it is to be ranked as one of them. Sir Harry and his +lady are come to town. All, it seems, is harmony in that family. They +cannot bear Mr. Beauchamp's absence from them for three days together. +All the neighbouring gentlemen are in love with him. His manners are so +gentle; his temper so even; so desirous to oblige; so genteel in his +person; so pleasing in his address; he must undoubtedly make a good woman +very happy. + +But Emily, poor girl! sees only Sir Charles Grandison with eyes of love. +Mr. Beauchamp is, however, greatly pleased with Emily. He told Lady G---- +that he thought her a fine young creature; and that her mind was still +more amiable than her person. But his behaviour to her is extremely +prudent. He says finer things of her, than to her: yet surely I am +mistaken if he meditates not in her his future wife. + +Mr. Beauchamp will be one of my escort. + +Emily, at her own request, is to go to Colnebrook with Lady L---- after I +am gone. + +Mr. Reeves will ride. Lord L---- and Lord G---- will also oblige me with +their company on horseback. + +Mrs. Reeves is forbidden to venture; but Lady L---- and Lady G---- will +not be denied coming with me. + +I shall take leave of Lady Olivia and Lady Maffei to-morrow morning; when +they will set out for their projected tour. To-morrow we and the whole +Grandison family are to dine together at Lord L----'s, for the last time. +It will be a mournful dining-time, on that account. + +Lady Betty Williams, her daughter, and Miss Clements, supped with us this +night, and took leave of me in the tenderest manner. They greatly regret +my going down so soon, as they call it. + +As to the public diversions, which they wish me to stay and give into, to +be sure I should have been glad to have been better qualified to have +entertained you with the performances of this or that actor, this or that +musician, and the like: but, frightened by the vile plot upon me at a +masquerade, I was thrown out of that course of diversion, and indeed into +more affecting, more interesting engagements; into the knowledge of a +family that had no need to look out of itself for entertainments: and, +besides, are not all the company we see, as visiters or guests, full of +these things? I have seen the principal performers, in every way, often +enough to give me a notion of their performances, though I have not +troubled you with such common things as revolve every season. + +You know I am far from slighting the innocent pleasures in which others +delight--It would have been happier for me, perhaps, had I had more +leisure to attend those amusements, than I have found. Yet I am not +sure, neither: for methinks, with all the pangs that my suspenses have +cost me, I would not but have known Sir Charles Grandison, his sisters, +his Emily, and Dr. Bartlett. + +I could only have wished to have been spared Sir Hargrave Pollexfen's +vile attempt: then, if I had come acquainted with this family, it would +have been as I came acquainted with others: my gratitude had not been +engaged so deeply. + +Well--But what signify if's?--What has been, has; what must be, must. +Only love me, my dear friends, as you used to love me. If I was a good +girl when I left you, I hope I am not a bad one now, that I am returning +to you. My morals, I bless God, are unhurt: my heart is not corrupted by +the vanities of the great town: I have a little more experience than I +had: and if I have severely paid for it, it is not at the price of my +reputation. And I hope, if nobody has benefited by me, since I have been +in town, that no one has suffered by me. Poor Mr. Fowler!--I could not +help it, you know. Had I, by little snares, follies, coquetries, sought +to draw him on, and entangle him, his future welfare would, with reason, +be more the subject of my solicitude, than it is now necessary it should +be; though, indeed, I cannot help making it a good deal so. + + +*** + + +THURSDAY MORNING. + +Dr. Bartlett has just now taken leave of me, in my own dressing-room. +The parting scene between us was tender. + +I have not given you my opinion of Miss Williams. Had I seen her at my +first coming to town, I should have taken as much notice of her, in my +letters to you, as I did of the two Miss Brambers, Miss Darlington, Miss +Cantillon, Miss Allestree, and others of my own sex; and of Mr. Somner, +Mr. Barnet, Mr. Walden, of the other; who took my first notice, as they +fell early in my way, and with whom it is possible, as well as with the +town-diversions, I had been more intimate, had not Sir Hargrave's vile +attempt carried me out of their acquaintance into a much higher; which of +necessity, as well as choice, entirely engrossed my attention. But now +how insipid would any new characters appear to you, if they were but of a +like cast with those I have mentioned, were I to make such the subjects +of my pen, and had I time before me; which I cannot have, to write again, +before I embrace you all, my dear, my ever dear and indulgent friends! + +I will only say, that Miss Williams is a genteel girl; but will hardly be +more than one of the better sort of modern women of condition; and that +she is to be classed so high, will be owing more to Miss Clements's +lessons, than, I am afraid, to her mother's example. + +Is it, Lucy, that I have more experience and discernment now, or less +charity and good-nature, than when I first came to town? for then I +thought well, in the main, of Lady Betty Williams. But though she is a +good-natured, obliging woman; she is so immersed in the love of public +diversions! so fond of routs, drums, hurricanes,--Bless me, my dear! how +learned should I have been in all the gaieties of the modern life; what a +fine lady, possibly; had I not been carried into more rational (however +to me they have been more painful) scenes; and had I followed the lead of +this lady, as she (kindly, as to her intention) had designed I should! + +In the afternoon Mr. Beauchamp is to introduce Sir Harry and Lady +Beauchamp, on their first visit to the two sisters. + +I had almost forgot to tell you, that my cousins and I are to attend the +good Countess of D---- for one half hour, after we have taken leave of +Lady Olivia and her aunt. + +And now, my Lucy, do I shut up my correspondence with you from London. +My heart beats high with the hope of being as indulgently received by all +you, my dearest friends, as I used to be after a shorter absence: for I +am, and ever will be, + +The grateful, dutiful, and affectionate +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XXXVI + +MISS BYRON, TO LADY G---- +SELBY-HOUSE, MONDAY, APRIL 24. + + +Though the kind friends with whom I parted at Dunstable were pleased, one +and all, to allow that the correspondence which is to pass between my +dear Lady G---- and their Harriet, should answer the just expectations of +each upon her, in the writing way; and though (at your motion, remember, +not at mine) they promised to be contented with hearing read to them such +parts of my letters as you should think proper to communicate; yet cannot +I dispense with my duty to Lady L----, my Emily, my cousin Reeves, and +Dr. Bartlett. Accordingly, I write to them by this post; and I charge +you, my dear, with my sincere and thankful compliments to your lord, and +to Mr. Beauchamp, for their favours. + +What an agreeable night, in the main, was Friday night! Had we not been +to separate next morning, it would have been an agreeable one indeed! + +Is not my aunt Selby an excellent woman? But you all admired her. She +admires you all. I will tell you, another time, what she said of you, my +dear, in particular. + +My cousin Lucy, too--is she not an amiable creature? Indeed you all were +delighted with her. But I take pleasure in recollecting your +approbations of one I so dearly love. She is as prudent as Lady L---- +and now our Nancy is so well recovered, as cheerful as Lady G----. You +said you would provide a good husband for her: don't forget. The man, +whoever he be, cannot be too good for my Lucy. Nancy is such another +good girl: but so I told you. + +Well, and pray, did you ever meet with so pleasant a man as my uncle +Selby? What should we have done, when we talked of your brother, when we +talked of our parting, had it not been for him? You looked upon me every +now and then, when he returned your smartness upon him, as if you thought +I had let him know some of your perversenesses to Lord G----. And do you +think I did not? Indeed I did. Can you imagine that your frank-hearted +Harriet, who hides not from her friends her own faults, should conceal +yours?--But what a particular character is yours! Every body blames you, +that knows of your over-livelinesses; yet every body loves you--I think, +for your very faults. Had it not been so, do you imagine I could ever +have loved you, after you had led Lady L---- to join with you, on a +certain teasing occasion?--My uncle dotes upon you! + +But don't tell Emily that my cousin James Selby is in love with her. +That he may not, on the score of the dear girl's fortune, be thought +presumptuous, let me tell you, that he is almost of age; and, when he is, +comes into possession of a handsome estate. He has many good qualities. +I have, in short, a very great value for him; but not enough, though he +is my relation, to wish him my still more beloved Emily. Dear creature! +Methinks I still feel her parting tears on my cheek! + +You charge me to be as minute, in the letters I write to you, as I used +to be to my friends here: and you promise to be as circumstantial in +yours. I will set you the example: do you be sure to follow it. + +We baited at Stoney Stratford. I was afraid how it would be: there were +the two bold creatures, Mr. Greville, and Mr. Fenwick, ready to receive +us. A handsome collation, as at our setting out, so now, bespoke by +them, was set on the table. How they came by their intelligence, nobody +knows: we were all concerned to see them. They seemed half-mad for joy. +My cousin James had alighted to hand us out; but Mr. Greville was so +earnest to offer his hand, that though my cousin was equally ready, I +thought I could not deny to his solicitude for the poor favour, such a +mark of civility. Besides, if I had, it would have been distinguishing +him for more than a common neighbour, you know. Mr. Fenwick took the +other hand, when I had stept out of the coach, and then (with so much +pride, as made me ashamed of myself) they hurried me between them, +through the inn yard, and into the room they had engaged for us; blessing +themselves, all the way, for my coming down Harriet Byron. + +I looked about, as if for the dear friends I had parted with at +Dunstable. This is not, thought I, so delightful an inn as they made +that--Now they, thought I, are pursuing their road to London, as we are +ours to Northampton. But ah! where, where is Sir Charles Grandison at +this time? And I sighed! But don't read this, and such strokes as this, +to any body but Lord and Lady L----. You won't, you say--Thank you, +Charlotte.--I will call you Charlotte, when I think of it, as you +commanded me. The joy we had at Dunstable, was easy, serene, deep, full, +as I may say; it was the joy of sensible people: but the joy here was +made by the two gentlemen, mad, loud, and even noisy. They hardly were +able to contain themselves; and my uncle, and cousin James, were forced +to be loud, to be heard. + +Mr. Orme, good Mr. Orme, when we came near his park, was on the highway +side, perhaps near the very spot where he stood to see me pass to London +so many weeks ago--Poor man!--When I first saw him, (which was before the +coach came near, for I looked out only, as thinking I would mark the +place where I last beheld him,) he looked with so disconsolate an air, +and so fixed, that I compassionately said to myself, Surely the worthy +man has not been there ever since! + +I twitched the string just in time: the coach stopt. Mr. Orme, said I, +how do you? Well, I hope?--How does Miss Orme? + +I had my hand on the coach-door. He snatched it. It was not an +unwilling hand. He pressed it with his lips. God be praised, said he, +(with a countenance, O how altered for the better!) for permitting me +once more to behold that face--that angelic face, he said. + +God bless you, Mr. Orme! said I: I am glad to see you. Adieu. + +The coach drove on. Poor Mr. Orme! said my aunt. + +Mr. Orme, Lucy, said I, don't look so ill as you wrote he was. + +His joy to see you, said she--But Mr. Orme is in a declining way. + +Mr. Greville, on the coach stopping, rode back just as it was going on +again--And with a loud laugh--How the d----l came Orme to know of your +coming, madam!--Poor fellow! It was very kind of you to stop your coach +to speak to the statue. And he laughed again.--Nonsensical! At what? + +My grandmamma Shirley, dearest of parents! her youth, as she was pleased +to say, renewed by the expectation of so soon seeing her darling child, +came (as my aunt told us, you know) on Thursday night to Selby-house, to +charge her and Lucy with her blessing to me; and resolving to stay there +to receive me. Our beloved Nancy was also to be there; so were two other +cousins, Kitty and Patty Holles, good young creatures; who, in my +absence, had attended my grandmamma at every convenient opportunity, and +whom I also found here. + +When we came within sight of this house, Now, Harriet, said Lucy, I see +the same kind of emotions beginning to arise in your face and bosom, as +Lady G---- told us you shewed when you first saw your aunt at Dunstable. +My grandmamma! said I, I am in sight of the dear house that holds her: I +hope she is here. But I will not surprise her with my joy to see her. +Lie still, throbbing impatient heart. + +But when the coach set us down at the inner gate, there, in the +outward-hall, sat my blessed grandmamma. The moment I beheld her, my +intended caution forsook me: I sprang by my aunt, and, before the +foot-step could be put down, flew, as it were, out of the coach, and +threw myself at her feet, wrapping my arms about her: Bless, bless, said +I, your Harriet! I could not, at the moment, say another word. + +Great God! said the pious parent, her hands and eyes lifted up, Great +God! I thank thee! Then folding her arms about my neck, she kissed my +forehead, my cheek, my lips--God bless my love! Pride of my life! the +most precious of a hundred daughters! How does my child--my Harriet--O +my love!--After such dangers, such trials, such harassings--Once more, +God be praised that I clasp to my fond heart, my Harriet! + +Separate them, separate them, said my facetious uncle, (yet he had tears +in his eyes,) before they grow together!--Madam, to my grandmamma, she is +our Harriet, as well as yours: let us welcome the saucy girl, on her +re-entrance into these doors!--Saucy, I suppose, I shall soon find her. + +My grandmamma withdrew her fond arms: Take her, take her, said she, each +in turn: but I think I never can part with her again. + +My uncle saluted me, and bid me very kindly welcome home--so did every +one. + +How can I return the obligations which the love of all my friends lays +upon me? To be good, to be grateful, is not enough; since that one ought +to be for one's own sake. Yet how can I be even grateful to them with +half a heart? Ah, Lady G----, you bid me be free in my confessions. You +promise to look my letters over before you read them to any body; and to +mark passages proper to be kept to yourself--Pray do. + +Mr. Greville and Mr. Fenwick were here separately, an hour ago: I thanked +them for their civility on the road, and not ungraciously, as Mr. +Greville told my uncle, as to him. He was not, he said, without hopes, +yet; since I knew not how to be ungrateful. Mr. Greville builds, as he +always did, a merit on his civility; and by that means sinks, in the +narrower lover, the claim he might otherwise make to the title of the +generous neighbour. + + +*** + + +Miss Orme has just been here. She could not help throwing in a word for +her brother. + +You will guess, my dear Lady G----, at the subject of our conversations +here, and what they will be, morning, noon, and night, for a week to +come. My grandmamma is better in health than I have known her for a year +or two past. The health of people in years can mend but slowly; and they +are slow to acknowledge it in their own favour. My grandmamma, however, +allows that she is better within these few days past; but attributes the +amendment to her Harriet's return. + +How do they all bless, revere, extol, your noble brother!--How do they +wish--And how do they regret--you know what--Yet how ready are they to +applaud your Harriet, if she can hold her magnanimity, in preferring the +happiness of Clementina to her own!--My grandmamma and aunt are of +opinion, that I should; and they praise me for the generosity of my +effort, whether the superior merits of the man will or will not allow me +to succeed in it. But my uncle, my Lucy, and my Nancy, from their +unbounded love of me, think a little, and but a little, narrower; and, +believing it will go hard with me, say, It is hard. My uncle, in +particular, says, The very pretension is flight and nonsense: but, +however, if the girl, added he, can parade away her passion for an object +so worthy, with all my heart: it will be but just, that the romancing +elevations, which so often drive headstrong girls into difficulties, +should now and then help a more discreet one out of them. + +Adieu, my beloved Lady G----! Repeated compliments, love, thanks, to my +Lord and Lady L----, to my Emily, to Dr. Bartlett, to Mr. Beauchamp, and +particularly to my Lord G----. Dear, dear Charlotte, be good! Let me +beseech you be good! If you are not, you will have every one of my +friends who met you at Dunstable, and, from their report, my grandmamma +and Nancy, against you; for they find but one fault in my lord: it is, +that he seems too fond of a lady, who, by her archness of looks, and +half-saucy turns upon him, even before them, evidently shewed--Shall I +say what? But I stand up for you, my dear. Your gratitude, your +generosity, your honour, I say, (and why should I not add your duty?) +will certainly make you one of the most obliging of wives, to the most +affectionate of husbands. + +My uncle says he hopes so: but though he adores you for a friend, and the +companion of a lively hour; yet he does not know but his dame Selby is +still the woman whom a man should prefer for a wife: and she, said he, is +full as saucy as a wife need to be; though I think, Harriet, that she has +not been the less dutiful of late for your absence. + +Once more, adieu, my dear Lady G----, and continue to love your + +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XXXVII + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +THURSDAY, APRIL 27. + + +Every one of the Dunstable party say, that you are a grateful and good +girl. Beauchamp can talk of nobody else of our sex: I believe in my +conscience he is in love with you. I think all the unprovided-for young +women, wherever you come, must hate you. Was you never by surprise +carried into the chamber of a friend labouring with the smallpox, in the +infectious stage of it?--O, but I think you once said you had had that +distemper. But your mind, Harriet, were your face to be ruined, would +make you admirers. The fellows who could think of preferring even such a +face to such a heart, may be turned over to the class of insignificants. + +Is not your aunt Selby, you ask, an excellent woman?--She is. I admire +her. But I am very angry with you for deferring to another time, +acquainting me with what she said of me. When we are taken with any +body, we love they should be taken with us. Teasing Harriet! You know +what an immoderate quantity of curiosity I have. Never serve me so +again! + +I am in love with your cousin Lucy. Were either Fenwick or Greville good +enough--But they are not. I think she shall have Mr. Orme. Nancy, you +say, is such another good girl. I don't doubt it. Is she not your +cousin, and Lucy's sister? But I cannot undertake for every good girl +who wants a husband. I wish I had seen Lucy a fortnight ago: then Nancy +might have had Mr. Orme, and Lucy should have had Lord G----. He admires +her greatly. And do you think that a man who at that time professed for +me so much love and service, and all that, would have scrupled to oblige +me, had I (as I easily should) proved to him, that he would have been a +much happier man than he could hope to be with somebody else? + +Your uncle is a pleasant man: but tell him I say, that the man would be +out of his wits, that did not make the preference he does in favour of +his dame Selby, as he calls her. Tell him also, if you please, in return +for his plain dealing, that I say, he studies too much for his +pleasantries: he is continually hunting for occasions to be smart. I +have heard my father say, that this was the fault of some wits of his +acquaintance, whom he ranked among the witlings for it. If you think it +will mortify him more, you may tell him, (for I am very revengeful when I +think myself affronted,) that were I at liberty, which, God help me, I am +not! I would sooner choose for a husband the man I have, (poor soul, as I +now and then think him,) than such a teasing creature as himself, were +both in my power, and both of an age. And I should have this good reason +for my preference: your uncle and I should have been too much alike, and +so been jealous of each other's wit; whereas I can make my honest Lord +G---- look about him, and admire me strangely, whenever I please. + +But I am, it seems, a person of a particular character. Every one, you +say, loves me, yet blames me. Odd characters, my dear, are needful to +make even characters shine. You good girls would not be valued as you +are, if there were not bad ones. Have you not heard it said, that all +human excellence is but comparative? Pray allow of the contrast. You, I +am sure, ought. You are an ungrateful creature, if, whenever you think +of my over-livelinesses, as you call 'em, you don't drop a courtesy, and +say, you are obliged to me. + +But still the attack made upon you in your dressing-room at Colnebrook, +by my sister and me, sticks in your stomach--And why so? We were willing +to shew you, that we were not the silly people you must have thought us, +had we not been able to distinguish light from darkness. You, who ever +were, I believe, one of the frankest-hearted girls in Britain, and +admired for the ease and dignity given you by that frankness, were +growing awkward, nay dishonest. Your gratitude! your gratitude! was the +dust you wanted to throw into our eyes, that we might not see that you +were governed by a stronger motive. You called us your friends, your +sisters, but treated us not as either; and this man, and that, and +t'other, you could refuse; and why? No reason given for it; and we were +to be popt off with your gratitude, truly!--We were to believe just what +you said, and no more; nay, not so much as you said. But we were not so +implicit. Nor would you, in our case, have been so. + +But 'you, perhaps, would not have violently broken in upon a poor thing, +who thought we were blind, because she was not willing we should see.'-- +May be not: but then, in that case, we were honester than you would have +been; that's all. Here, said I, Lady L----, is this poor girl awkwardly +struggling to conceal what every body sees; and, seeing, applauds her +for, the man considered: [Yes, Harriet, the man considered; be pleased to +take that in:] let us, in pity, relieve her. She is thought to be frank, +open-hearted, communicative; nay, she passes herself upon us in those +characters: she sees we keep nothing from her. She has been acquainted +with your love before wedlock; with my folly, in relation to Anderson: +she has carried her head above a score or two of men not contemptible. +She sits enthroned among us, while we make but common figures at her +footstool: she calls us sisters, friends, and twenty pretty names. Let +us acquaint her, that we see into her heart; and why Lord D---- and +others are so indifferent with her. If she is ingenuous, let us spare +her; if not, leave me to punish her--Yet we will keep up her punctilio as +to our brother; we will leave him to make his own discoveries. She may +confide in his politeness; and the result will be happier for her; +because she will then be under no restraint to us, and her native freedom +of heart may again take its course. + +Agreed, agreed, said Lady L----. And arm-in-arm, we entered your +dressing-room, dismissed the maid, and began the attack--And, O Harriet! +how you hesitated, paraded, fooled on with us, before you came to +confession! Indeed you deserved not the mercy we shewed you--So, child, +you had better to have let this part of your story sleep in peace. + +You bid me not tell Emily, that your cousin is in love with her: but I +think I will. Girls begin very early to look out for admirers. It is +better, in order to stay her stomach, to find out one for her, than that +she should find out one for herself; especially when the man is among +ourselves, as I may say, and both are in our own management, and at +distance from each other. Emily is a good girl; but she has +susceptibilities already: and though I would not encourage her, as yet, +to look out of herself for happiness; yet I would give her consequence +with herself, and at the same time let her see, that there could be no +mention made of any thing that related to her, but what she should be +acquainted with. Dear girl! I love her as well as you; and I pity her +too: for she, as well as somebody else, will have difficulties to contend +with, which she will not know easily how to get over; though she can, in +a flame so young, generously prefer the interest of a more excellent +woman to her own.--There, Harriet, is a grave paragraph: you'll like me +for it. + +You are a very reflecting girl, in mentioning to me, so particularly, +your behaviour to your Grevilles, Fenwicks, and Ormes. What is that but +saying, See, Charlotte! I am a much more complacent creature to the +men, no one of which I intend to have, than you are to your husband! + +What a pious woman, indeed, must be your grandmamma, that she could +suspend her joy, her long-absent darling at her feet, till she had first +thanked God for restoring her to her arms! But, in this instance, we see +the force of habitual piety. Though not so good as I should be myself, I +revere those who are so; and that I hope you will own is no bad sign. + +Well, but now for ourselves, and those about us. + +Lady Olivia has written a letter from Windsor to Lady L----. It is in +French; extremely polite. She promises to write to me from Oxford. + +Lady Anne S---- made me a visit this morning. She was more concerned +than I wished to see her, on my confirming the report she had heard of my +brother's being gone abroad. I rallied her a little too freely, as it +was before Lord G---- and Lord L----. I never was better rebuked than by +her; for she took out her pencil, and on the cover of a letter wrote +these lines from Shakespeare, and slid them into my hand: + + "And will you rend our ancient love asunder, + To join with men in scorning your poor friend? + It is not friendly; 'tis not maidenly: + Our sex, as well as I, may chide you for it, + Though I alone do feel the injury." + +I never, my dear, told you how freely this lady and I had talked of love: +but, freely as we had talked, I was not aware that the matter lay so deep +in her heart. I knew not how to tell her that my brother had said, it +could not be. I could have wept over her when I read this paper; and I +owned myself by a whisper justly rebuked. She charged me not to let any +man see this; particularly not either of those present: and do you, +Harriet, keep what I have written of Lady Anne to yourself. + +My aunt Eleanor has written a congratulatory letter to me from York. Sir +Charles, it seems, had acquainted her with Lord G----'s day, [Not my day, +Harriet! that is not the phrase, I hope!] as soon as he knew it himself; +and she writes, supposing that I was actually offered on it. Women are +victims on these occasions: I hope you'll allow me that. My brother has +made it a point of duty to acquaint his father's sister with every matter +of consequence to the family; and now, she says, that both her nieces are +so well disposed of, she will come to town very quickly to see her new +relations and us; and desires we will make room for her. And yet she +owns, that my brother has informed her of his being obliged to go abroad; +and she supposes him gone. As he is the beloved of her heart, I wonder +she thinks of making this visit now he is absent: but we shall all be +glad to see my aunt Nell. She is a good creature, though an old maid. I +hope the old lady has not utterly lost either her invention, or memory; +and then, between both, I shall be entertained with a great number of +love-stories of the last age; and perhaps of some dangers and escapes; +which may serve for warnings for Emily. Alas! alas! they will come too +late for your Charlotte! + +I have written already the longest letter that I ever wrote in my life: +yet it is prating; and to you, to whom I love to prate. I have not near +done. + +You bid me be good; and you threaten me, if I am not, with the ill +opinion of all your friends: but I have such an unaccountable bias for +roguery, or what shall I call it? that I believe it is impossible for me +to take your advice. I have been examining myself. What a deuse is the +matter with me, that I cannot see my honest man in the same advantageous +light in which he appears to everybody else? Yet I do not, in my heart, +dislike him. On the contrary, I know not, were I to look about me, far +and wide, the man I would have wished to have called mine, rather than +him. But he is so important about trifles; so nimble, yet so slow: he is +so sensible of his own intention to please, and has so many antic motions +in his obligingness; that I cannot forbear laughing at the very time that +I ought perhaps to reward him with a gracious approbation. + +I must fool on a little while longer, I believe: permit me, Harriet, so +to do, as occasions arise. + + +*** + + +An instance, an instance in point, Harriet. Let me laugh as I write. I +did at the time.--What do you laugh at, Charlotte?--Why this poor man, +or, as I should rather say, this lord and master of mine, has just left +me. He has been making me both a compliment, and a present. And what do +you think the compliment is? Why, if I please, he will give away to a +virtuoso friend, his collection of moths and butterflies: I once, he +remembered, rallied him upon them. And by what study, thought I, wilt +thou, honest man, supply their place? If thou hast a talent this way, +pursue it; since perhaps thou wilt not shine in any other. And the best +any thing, you know, Harriet, carries with it the appearance of +excellence. Nay, he would also part with his collection of shells, if I +had no objection. + +To whom, my lord?--He had not resolved.--Why then, only as Emily is too +little of a child, or you might give them to her. 'Too little of a +child, madam!' and a great deal of bustle and importance took possession +of his features--Let me tell you, madam--I won't let you, my lord; and I +laughed. + +Well, madam, I hope here is something coming up that you will not disdain +to accept of yourself. + +Up came groaning under the weight, or rather under the care, two servants +with baskets: a fine set of old Japan china with brown edges, believe me. +They sat down their baskets, and withdrew. + +Would you not have been delighted, Harriet, to see my lord busying +himself with taking out, and putting in the windows, one at a time, the +cups, plates, jars, and saucers, rejoicing and parading over them, and +shewing his connoisseurship to his motionless admiring wife, in +commending this and the other piece as a beauty? And, when he had done, +taking the liberty, as he phrased it, half fearful, half resolute, to +salute his bride for his reward; and then pacing backwards several steps, +with such a strut and a crow--I see him yet!--Indulge me, Harriet!--I +burst into a hearty laugh; I could not help it: and he, reddening, looked +round himself, and round himself, to see if anything was amiss in his +garb. The man, the man! honest friend, I could have said, (but had too +much reverence for my husband,) is the oddity! Nothing amiss in the +garb. I quickly recollected myself, however, and put him in a good +humour, by proper marks of my gracious acceptance. On reflection, I +could not bear myself for vexing the honest man when he had meant to +oblige me. + +How soon I may relapse again, I know not.--O Harriet! Why did you +beseech me to be good? I think in my heart I have the stronger +inclination to be bad for it! You call me perverse: if you think me so, +bid me be saucy, bid me be bad; and I may then, like other good wives, +take the contrary course for the sake of dear contradiction. + +Shew not, however, (I in turn beseech you) to your grandmamma and aunt, +such parts of this letter as would make them despise me. You say, you +stand up for me; I have need of your advocateship: never let me want it. +And do I not, after all, do a greater credit to my good man, when I can +so heartily laugh in the wedded state, than if I were to sit down with my +finger in my eye? + +I have taken your advice, and presented my sister with my half of the +jewels. I desired her to accept them, as they were my mother's, and for +her sake. This gave them a value with her, more than equal with their +worth: but Lord L---- is uneasy, and declares he will not suffer Lady +L---- long to lie under the obligation. Were every one of family in +South Britain and North Britain to be as generous and disinterested as +Lord L---- and our family, the union of the two parts of the island would +be complete. + + +*** + + +Lord help this poor obliging man! I wish I don't love him, at last. He +has taken my hint, and has presented his collection of shells (a very +fine one, he says, it is) to Emily; and they two are actually busied (and +will be for an hour or two, I doubt not) in admiring them; the one +strutting over the beauties, in order to enhance the value of the +present; the other courtesying ten times in a minute, to shew her +gratitude. Poor man! When his virtuoso friend has got his butterflies +and moths, I am afraid he must set up a turner's shop, for employment. +If he loved reading, I could, when our visiting hurries are over, set him +to read to me the new things that come out, while I knot or work; and, if +he loved writing, to copy the letters which pass between you and me, and +those for you which I expect with so much impatience from my brother by +means of Dr. Bartlett. I think he spells pretty well, for a lord. + +I have no more to say, at present, but compliments, without number or +measure, to all you so deservedly love and honour; as well those I have +not seen, as those I have. + +Only one thing: Reveal to me all the secrets of your heart, and how that +heart is from time to time affected; that I may know whether you are +capable of that greatness of mind in a love-case, that you shew in all +others. We will all allow you to love Sir Charles Grandison. Those who +do, give honour to themselves, if their eyes stop not at person, his +having so many advantages. For the same reason, I make no apologies, and +never did, for praising my brother, as any other lover of him might do. + +Let me know every thing how and about your fellows, too. Ah! Harriet, +you make not the use of power that I would have done in your situation. +I was half-sorry when my hurrying brother made me dismiss Sir Walter; and +yet, to have but two danglers after one, are poor doings for a fine lady. +Poorer still, to have but one! + +Here's a letter as long as my arm. Adieu. I was loath to come to the +name: but defer it ever so long, I must subscribe, at last, + +CHARLOTTE G----. + + + +LETTER XXXVIII + +MISS JERVOIS, TO MISS BYRON* +MONDAY, MAY 1. + +* The letter to which this is an answer, as well as those written by Miss +Byron to her cousin Reeves, Lady L----, &c., and theirs in return, are +omitted. + + +O my dearest, my honoured Miss Byron, how you have shamed your Emily by +sending a letter to her; such a sweet letter too! before I have paid my +duty to you, in a letter of thanks for all your love to me, and for all +your kind instructions. But I began once, twice, and thrice, and wrote a +great deal each time, but could not please myself: you, madam, are such a +writer, and I am such a poor thing at my pen!--But I know you will accept +the heart. And so my very diffidence shews pride; since it cannot be +expected from me to be a fine writer: and yet this very letter, I +foresee, will be the worse for my diffidence, and not the better: for I +don't like this beginning, neither.--But come, it shall go. Am I not +used to your goodness? And do you not bid me prattle to you, in my +letters, as I used to do in your dressing-room? O what sweet advice have +you, and do you return for my silly prate! And so I will begin. + +And was you grieved at parting with your Emily on Saturday morning? I am +sure I was very much concerned at parting with you. I could not help +crying all the way to town; and Lady G---- shed tears as well as I, and +so did Lady L---- several times; and said, You were the loveliest, best +young lady in the world. And we all praised likewise your aunt, your +cousin Lucy, and young Mr. Selby. How good are all your relations! They +must be good! And Lord L----, and Lord G----, for men, were as much +concerned as we, at parting with you. Mr. Reeves was so dull all the +way!--Poor Mr. Reeves, he was very dull. And Mr. Beauchamp, he praised +you to the very skies; and in such a pretty manner too! Next to my +guardian, I think Mr. Beauchamp is a very agreeable man. I fancy these +noble sisters, if the truth were known, don't like him so well as their +brother does: perhaps that may be the reason, out of jealousy, as I may +say, if there be any thing in my observation. But they are vastly civil +to him, nevertheless; yet they never praise him when his back is turned; +as they do others, who can't say half the good things that he says. + +Well, but enough of Mr. Beauchamp. My guardian! my gracious, my kind, my +indulgent guardian! who, that thinks of him, can praise any body else? + +O, madam! Where is he now? God protect and guide my guardian, wherever +he goes! This is my prayer, first and last, and I can't tell how often +in the day. I look for him in every place I have seen him in; [And pray +tell me, madam, did not you do so when he had left us?] and when I can't +find him, I do so sigh!--What a pleasure, yet what a pain, is there in +sighing, when I think of him! Yet I know I am an innocent girl. And +this I am sure of, that I wish him to be the husband of but one woman in +the whole world; and that is you. But then my next wish is--You know +what--Ah, my Miss Byron! you must let me live with you and my guardian, +if you should ever be Lady Grandison. + +But here, madam, are sad doings sometimes, between Lord and Lady G----. +I am very angry at her often in my heart; yet I cannot help laughing, +now and then, at her out-of-the-way sayings. Is not her character a very +new one? Or are there more such young wives? I could not do as she +does, were I to be queen of the globe. Every body blames her. She will +make my lord not love her, at last. Don't you think so? And then what +will she get by her wit? + + +*** + + +Just this moment she came into my closet--Writing, Emily? said she: To +whom?--I told her.--Don't tell tales out of school, Emily.--I was so +afraid that she would have asked to see what I had written: but she did +not. To be sure she is very polite, and knows what belongs to herself, +and every body else: To be ungenerous, as you once said, to her husband +only, that is a very sad thing to think of. + +Well, and I would give any thing to know if you think what I have written +tolerable, before I go any farther: But I will go on in this way, since I +cannot do better. Bad is my best; but you shall have quantity, I +warrant, since you bid me write long letters. + +But I have seen my mother: it was but yesterday. She was in a mercer's +shop in Covent Garden. I was in Lord L----'s chariot; only Anne was with +me. Anne saw her first. I alighted, and asked her blessing in the shop: +I am sure I did right. She blessed me, and called me dear love. I +stayed till she had bought what she wanted, and then I slid down the +money, as if it were her own doing; and glad I was I had so much about +me: It came but to four guineas. I begged her, speaking low, to forgive +me for so doing: And finding she was to go home as far as Soho, and had +thoughts of having a hackney coach called; I gave Anne money for a coach +for herself, and waited on my mother to her own lodgings; and it being +Lord L----'s chariot, she was so good as to dispense with my alighting. + +She blessed my guardian all the way, and blessed me. She said, she would +not ask me to come to see her, because it might not be thought proper, as +my guardian was abroad: but she hoped, she might be allowed to come and +see me sometimes.--Was she not very good, madam? But my guardian's +goodness makes every body good.--O that my mamma had been always the +same! I should have been but too happy! + +God bless my guardian, for putting me on enlarging her power to live +handsomely. Only as a coach brings on other charges, and people must +live accordingly, or be discredited, instead of credited, by it; or I +should hope the additional two hundred a-year might afford them one. Yet +one does not know but Mr. O'Hara may have been in debt before he married +her; and I fancy he has people who hang upon him. But if it pleases God, +I will not, when I am at age, and have a coach of my own, suffer my +mother to walk on foot. What a blessing is it, to have a guardian that +will second every good purpose of one's heart! + +Lady Olivia is rambling about; and I suppose she will wait here in +England till Sir Charles's return: but I am sure he never will have her. +A wicked wretch, with her poniards! Yet it is pity! She is a fine +woman. But I hate her for her expectation, as well as for her poniard. +And a woman to leave her own country, to seek for a husband! I could die +before I could do so! though to such a man as my guardian. Yet once I +thought I could have liked to have lived with her at Florence. She has +some good qualities, and is very generous, and in the main well esteemed +in her own country; every body knew she loved my guardian: but I don't +know how it is; nobody blamed her for it, vast as the difference in +fortune then was. But that is the glory of being a virtuous man; to love +him is a credit, instead of a shame. O madam! Who would not be +virtuous? And that not only for their own, but for their friends sakes, +if they loved their friends, and wished them to be well thought of? + +Lord W---- is very desirous to hasten his wedding. + +Mr. Beauchamp says, that all the Mansfields (He knows them) bless my +guardian every day of their lives; and their enemies tremble. He has +commissions from my guardian to inquire and act in their cause, that no +time may be lost to do them service, against his return. + +We have had another visit from Lady Beauchamp, and have returned it. She +is very much pleased with us: You see I say us. Indeed my two dear +ladies are very good to me; but I have no merit: it is all for their +brother's sake. + +Mr. Beauchamp tells us, just now, that his mother-in-law has joined with +his father, at her own motion, to settle 1000L. a year upon him. I am +glad of it, with all my heart: Are not you? He is all gratitude upon it. +He says, that he will redouble his endeavours to oblige her; and that his +gratitude to her, as well as his duty to his father, will engage his +utmost regard for her. + +Mr. Beauchamp, Sir Harry himself, and my lady, are continually blessing +my guardian: Every body, in short, blesses him.--But, ah! madam, where is +he, at this moment? O that I were a bird! that I might hover over his +head, and sometimes bring tidings to his friends of his motions and good +deeds. I would often flap my wings, dear Miss Byron, at your chamber +window, as a signal of his welfare, and then fly back again, and perch as +near him as I could. + +I am very happy, as I said before, in the favour of Lady and Lord L----, +and Lady and Lord G----; but I never shall be so happy, as when I had the +addition of your charming company. I miss you and my guardian: O, how I +miss you both! But, dearest Miss Byron, love me not the less, though now +I have put pen to paper, and you see what a poor creature I am in my +writing. Many a one, I believe, may be thought tolerable in +conversation; but when they are so silly as to put pen to paper, they +expose themselves; as I have done, in this long piece of scribble. But +accept it, nevertheless, for the true love I bear you; and a truer love +never flamed in any bosom, to any one the most dearly beloved, than does +in mine for you. + +I am afraid I have written arrant nonsense, because I knew not how to +express half the love that is in the heart of + +Your ever-obliged and affectionate +EMILY JERVOIS. + + +LETTER XXXIX + +MISS BYRON, TO LADY G---- +TUESDAY, MAY 2. + + +I have no patience with you, Lady G----. You are ungenerously playful! +Thank Heaven, if this be wit, that I have none of it. But what signifies +expostulating with one who knows herself to be faulty, and will not +amend? How many stripes, Charlotte, do you deserve?--But you never +spared any body, not even your brother, when the humour was upon you. So +make haste; and since you will lay in stores for repentance, fill up your +measure as fast as you can. + +'Reveal to you the state of my heart!'--Ah, my dear! it is an +unmanageable one. 'Greatness of mind!'--I don't know what it is!--All +his excellencies, his greatness, his goodness, his modesty, his +cheerfulness under such afflictions as would weigh down every other heart +that had but half the compassion in it with which his overflows--Must not +all other men appear little, and, less than little, nothing, in my eyes? +--It is an instance of patience in me, that I can endure any of them who +pretend to regard me out of my own family. + +I thought, that when I got down to my dear friends here, I should be +better enabled, by their prudent counsels, to attain the desirable frame +of mind which I had promised myself: but I find myself mistaken. My +grandmamma and aunt are such admirers of him, take such a share in the +disappointment, that their advice has not the effect I had hoped it would +have. Lucy, Nancy, are perpetually calling upon me to tell them +something of Sir Charles Grandison; and when I begin, I know not how to +leave off. My uncle rallies me, laughs at me, sometimes reminds me of +what he calls my former brags. I did not brag, my dear: I only hoped, +that respecting as I did every man according to his merit, I should never +be greatly taken with any one, before duty added force to the +inclination. Methinks the company of the friends I am with, does not +satisfy me; yet they never were dearer to me than they now are. I want +to have Lord and Lady L----, Lord and Lady G----, Dr. Bartlett, my Emily, +with me. To lose you all at once!--is hard!--There seems to be a strange +void in my heart--And so much, at present, for the state of that heart. + +I always had reason to think myself greatly obliged to my friends and +neighbours all around us; but never, till my return, after these few +months absence, knew how much. So many kind visitors; such unaffected +expressions of joy on my return; that had I not a very great +counterbalance on my heart, would be enough to make me proud. + +My grandmamma went to Shirley-manor on Saturday; on Monday I was with her +all day: but she would have it that I should be melancholy if I staid +with her. And she is so self-denyingly careful of her Harriet! There +never was a more noble heart in woman. But her solitary moments, as my +uncle calls them, are her moments of joy. And why? Because she then +divests herself of all that is either painful or pleasurable to her in +this life: for she says, that her cares for her Harriet, and especially +now, are at least a balance for the delight she takes in her. + +You command me to acquaint you with what passes between me and the +gentlemen in my neighbourhood; in your style, my fellows. + +Mr. Fenwick invited himself to breakfast with my aunt Selby yesterday +morning. I would not avoid him. + +I will not trouble you with the particulars: you know well enough what +men will say on the subject upon which you will suppose he wanted to talk +to me. He was extremely earnest. I besought him to accept my thanks for +his good opinion of me, as all the return I could make him for it; and +this in so very serious a manner, that my heart was fretted, when he +declared, with warmth, his determined perseverance. + +Mr. Greville made us a tea-visit in the afternoon. My uncle and he +joined to rally us poor women, as usual. I left the defence of the sex +to my aunt and Lucy. How poor appears to me every conversation now with +these men!--But hold, saucy Harriet, was not your uncle Selby one of the +raillers?--But he does not believe all he says; and therefore cannot +wish to be so much regarded, on this topic, as he ought to be by me, on +others. + +After the run of raillery was over, in which Mr. Greville made exceptions +favourable to the women present, he applied to every one for their +interest with me, and to me to countenance his address. He set forth his +pretensions very pompously, and mentioned a very considerable increase of +his fortune; which before was a very handsome one. He offered our own +terms. He declared his love for me above all women, and made his +happiness in the next world, as well as in this, depend upon my favour to +him. + +It was easy to answer all he said; and is equally so for you to guess in +what manner I answered him: And he, finding me determined, began to grow +vehement, and even affrontive. He hinted to me, that he knew what had +made me so very resolute. He threw out threatenings against the man, be +he whom he would, that should stand in the way of his success with me; at +the same time intimating saucily, as I may say, (for his manner had +insult in it,) that it was impossible a certain event could ever take +place. + +My uncle was angry with him; so was my aunt: Lucy was still more angry +than they: but I, standing up, said, Pray, my dear friends, take nothing +amiss that Mr. Greville has said.--He once told me, that he would set +spies upon my conduct in town. If, sir, your spies have been just, I +fear nothing they can say. But the hints you have thrown out, shew such +a total want of all delicacy of mind, that you must not wonder if my +heart rejects you. Yet I am not angry: I reproach you not: Every one has +his peculiar way. All that is left me to say or to do, is to thank you +for your favourable opinion of me, as I have thanked Mr. Fenwick; and to +desire that you will allow me to look upon you as my neighbour, and only +as my neighbour. + +I courtesied to him, and withdrew. + +But my great difficulty had been before with Mr. Orme. + +His sister had desired that I would see her brother. He and she were +invited by my aunt to dinner on Tuesday. They came. Poor man! He is +not well! I am sorry for it. Poor Mr. Orme is not well! He made me +such honest compliments, as I may say: his heart was too much in his +civilities to raise them above the civilities that justice and truth +might warrant in favour of a person highly esteemed. Mine was filled +with compassion for him; and that compassion would have shewn itself in +tokens of tenderness, more than once, had I not restrained myself for his +sake. How you, my dear Lady G----, can delight in giving pain to an +honest heart, I cannot imagine. I would make all God Almighty's +creatures happy, if I could; and so would your noble brother. Is he not +crossing dangerous seas, and ascending, through almost perpetual snows, +those dreadful Alps which I have heard described with such terror, for +the generous end of relieving distress? + +I made Mr. Orme sit next me. I was assiduous to help him, and to do him +all the little offices which I thought would light up pleasure in his +modest countenance; and he was quite another man. It gave delight to his +sister, and to all my friends, to see him smile, and look happy. + +I think, my dear Lady G----, that when Mr. Orme looks pleasant, and at +ease, he resembles a little the good-natured Lord G----. O that you +would take half the pains to oblige him, that I do to relieve Mr. Orme!-- +Half the pains, did I say? That you would not take pains to dis-oblige +him; and he would be, of course, obliged. Don't be afraid, my dear, +that, in such a world as this, things will not happen to make you uneasy +without your studying for them. + +Excuse my seriousness: I am indeed too serious, at times. + +But when Mr. Orme requested a few minutes' audience of me, as he called +it, and I walked with him into the cedar parlour, which you have heard me +mention, and with which I hope you will be one day acquainted; he paid, +poor man! for his too transient pleasure. Why would he urge a denial +that he could not but know I must give? + +His sister and I had afterwards a conference. She pleaded too strongly +her brother's health, and even his life; both which, she would have it, +depended on my favour to him. I was greatly affected; and at last +besought her, if she valued my friendship as I did hers, never more to +mention to me a subject which gave me a pain too sensible for my peace. + +She requested me to assure her, that neither Mr. Greville, nor Mr. +Fenwick, might be the man. They both took upon them, she said, to +ridicule her brother for the profound respect, even to reverence, that he +bore me; which, if he knew, might be attended with consequences: for that +her brother, mild and gentle as was his passion for me, had courage to +resent any indignities that might be cast upon him by spirits boisterous +as were those of the two gentlemen she had named. She never, therefore, +told her brother of their scoffs. But it would go to her heart, if +either of them should succeed, or have reason but for a distant hope. + +I made her heart easy, on that score. + +I have just now heard, that Sir Hargrave Pollexfen is come from abroad +already. What can be the meaning of it? He is so low-minded, so +malicious a man, and I have suffered so much from him--What can be the +meaning of his sudden return? I am told, that he is actually in London. +Pray, my dear Lady G----, inform yourself about him; and whether he +thinks of coming into these parts. + +Mr. Greville, when he met us at Stoney-Stratford, threw out menaces +against Sir Hargrave, on my account; and said, It was well he was gone +abroad. I told him then, that he had no business, even were Sir Hargrave +present, to engage himself in my quarrels. + +Mr. Greville is an impetuous man; a man of rough manners; and makes many +people afraid of him. He has, I believe, indeed, had his spies about me; +for he seems to know every thing that has befallen me in my absence from +Selby House. + +He has dared also to threaten somebody else. Insolent wretch! But he +hinted to me yesterday, that he was exceedingly pleased with the news, +that a certain gentleman was gone abroad, in order to prosecute a former +amour, was the light wretch's as light expression. If my indignant eyes +could have killed him, he would have fallen dead at my feet. + +Let the constant and true respects of all my friends to you and yours, +and to my beloved Emily, be always, for the future, considered as very +affectionately expressed, whether the variety of other subjects leaves +room for a particular expression of them, or not, by, my dearest Lady +G----, + +Your faithful, and ever-obliged +HARRIET BYRON. + + + +LETTER XL + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +SATURDAY, MAY 6. + + +I thank you, Harriet, for yours. What must your fellows think of you? +In this gross age, your delicacy must astonish them. There used to be +more of it formerly. But how should men know any thing of it, when women +have forgot it? Lord be thanked, we females, since we have been admitted +into so constant a share of the public diversions, want not courage. We +can give the men stare for stare wherever we meet them. The next age, +nay, the rising generation, must surely be all heroes and heroines. But +whither has this word delicacy carried me? Me, who, it seems, have +faults to be corrected for of another sort; and who want not the courage +for which I congratulate others? + +But to other subjects. I could write a vast deal of stuff about my lord +and self, and Lord and Lady L----, who assume parts which I know not how +to allow them: and sometimes they threaten me with my brother's +resentments, sometimes with my Harriet's; so that I must really have +leading-strings fastened to my shoulders. O, my dear, a fond husband is +a surfeiting thing; and yet I believe most women love to be made monkeys +of. + + +*** + + +But all other subjects must now give way. We have heard of, though not +from, my brother. A particular friend of Mr. Lowther was here with a +letter from that gentleman, acquainting us, that Sir Charles and he were +arrived at Paris. + +Mr. Beauchamp was with us when Mr. Lowther's friend came. He borrowed +the letter on account of the extraordinary adventure mentioned in it. + +Make your heart easy, in the first place, about Sir Hargrave. He is +indeed in town; but very ill. He was frightened into England, and +intends not ever again to quit it. In all probability, he owes it to my +brother that he exists. + +Mr. Beauchamp went directly to Cavendish-square, and informed himself +there of other particulars relating to the affair, from the very servant +who was present, and acting in it; and from those particulars, and Mr. +Lowther's letter, wrote one for Dr. Bartlett. Mr. Beauchamp obliged me +with the perusal of what he wrote; whence I have extracted the following +account: for his letter is long and circumstantial; and I did not ask his +leave to take a copy, as he seemed desirous to hasten it to the doctor. + + +On Wednesday, the 19-30 of April, in the evening, as my brother was +pursuing his journey to Paris, and was within two miles of that capital, +a servant-man rode up, in visible terror, to his post-chaise, in which +were Mr. Lowther and himself, and besought them to hear his dreadful +tale. The gentlemen stopt, and he told them, that his master, who was an +Englishman, and his friend of the same nation, had been but a little +while before attacked, and forced out of the road in their post-chaise, +as he doubted not, to be murdered, by no less than seven armed horsemen; +and he pointed to a hill, at distance, called Mont Matre, behind which +they were, at that moment, perpetrating their bloody purpose. He had +just before, he said, addressed himself to two other gentlemen, and their +retinue, who drove on the faster for it. + +The servant's great coat was open; and Sir Charles observing his livery, +asked him, If he were not a servant of Sir Hargrave Pollexfen? and was +answered in the affirmative. + +There are, it seems, trees planted on each side the road from St. Denis +to Paris, but which, as France is an open and uninclosed country, would +not, but for the hill, have hindered the seeing a great way off, the +scuffling of so many men on horseback. There is also a ditch on either +hand; but places left for owners to come at their grounds, with their +carts, and other carriages. Sir Charles ordered the post boy to drive to +one of those passages; saying, He could not forgive himself, if he did +not endeavour to save Sir Hargrave, and his friend, whose name the man +told him was Merceda. + +His own servants were three in number, besides one of Mr. Lowther. My +brother made Mr. Lowther's servant dismount; and, getting himself on his +horse, ordered the others to follow him. He begged Mr. Lowther to +continue in the chaise, bidding the dismounted servant stay, and attend +his master, and galloped away towards the hill. His ears were soon +pierced with the cries of the poor wretches; and presently he saw two men +on horseback holding the horses of four others, who had under them the +two gentlemen, struggling, groaning, and crying out for mercy. + +Sir Charles, who was a good way a-head of his servants, calling out to +spare the gentlemen, and bending his course to relieve the prostrate +sufferers, two of the four quitted their prey, and mounting, joined the +other two horsemen, and advanced to meet him, with a shew of supporting +the two men on foot in their violence; who continued laying on the +wretches, with the but-ends of their whips, unmercifully. + +As the assailants offered not to fly, and as they had more than time +enough to execute their purpose, had it been robbery and murder; Sir +Charles concluded it was likely that these men were actuated by a private +revenge. He was confirmed in this surmise, when the four men on +horseback, though each had his pistol ready drawn, as Sir Charles also +had his, demanded a conference; warning Sir Charles how he provoked his +fate by his rashness; and declaring, that he was a dead man if he fired. + +Forbear, then, said Sir Charles, all further violences to the gentlemen, +and I will hear what you have to say. + +He then put his pistol into his holster; and one of his servants being +come up, and the two others at hand, (to whom he called out, not to fire +till they had his orders,) he gave him his horse's reins; bidding him +have an eye on the holsters of both, and leapt down; and, drawing his +sword, made towards the two men who were so cruelly exercising their +whips; and who, on his approach, retired to some little distance, drawing +their hangers. + +The four men on horseback joined the two on foot, just as they were +quitting the objects of their fury; and one of them said, Forbear, for +the present, further violence, brother; the gentleman shall be told the +cause of all this.--Murder, sir, said he, is not intended; nor are we +robbers: the men whom you are solicitous to save from our vengeance, are +villains. + +Be the cause what it will, answered Sir Charles, you are in a country +noted for doing speedy justice, upon proper application to the +magistrates. In the same instant he raised first one groaning man, then +the other. Their heads were all over bloody, and they were so much +bruised, that they could not extend their arms to reach their wigs and +hats, which lay near them; nor put them on without Sir Charles's help. + +The men on foot by this time had mounted their horses, and all six stood +upon their defence; but one of them was so furious, crying out, that his +vengeance should be yet more complete, that two of the others could +hardly restrain him. + +Sir Charles asked Sir Hargrave and Mr. Merceda, Whether they had reason +to look upon themselves as injured men, or injurers? One of the +assailants answered, That they both knew themselves to be villains. + +Either from consciousness, or terror, perhaps from both, they could not +speak for themselves, but by groans; nor could either of them stand or +sit upright. + +Just then came up, in the chaise, Mr. Lowther and his servant, each a +pistol in his hand. He quitted the chaise, when he came near the +suffering men; and Sir Charles desired him instantly to examine whether +the gentlemen were dangerously hurt, or not. + +The most enraged of the assailants, having slipt by the two who were +earnest to restrain him, would again have attacked Mr. Merceda; offering +a stroke at him with his hanger: but Sir Charles (his drawn sword still +in his hand) caught hold of his bridle; and, turning his horse's head +aside, diverted a stroke, which, in all probability, would otherwise have +been a finishing one. + +They all came about Sir Charles, bidding him, at his peril, use his sword +upon their friend: and Sir Charles's servants were coming up to their +master's support, had there been occasion. At that instant Mr. Lowther, +assisted by his own servant, was examining the wounds and bruises of the +two terrified men, who had yet no reason to think themselves safe from +further violence. + +Sir Charles repeatedly commanded his servants not to fire, nor approach +nearer, without his orders. The persons, said he, to the assailants, +whom you have so cruelly used, are Englishmen of condition. I will +protect them. Be the provocation what it will, you must know that your +attempt upon them is a criminal one; and if my friend last come up, who +is a very skilful surgeon, shall pronounce them in danger, you shall find +it so. + +Still he held the horse of the furious one; and three of them who seemed +to be principals, were beginning to express some resentment at his +cavalier treatment, when Mr. Lowther gave his opinion, that there was no +apparent danger of death: and then Sir Charles, quitting the man's +bridle, and putting himself between the assailants and sufferers, said, +That as they had not either offered to fly, or to be guilty of violence +to himself, his friend, or servants; he was afraid they had some reason +to think themselves ill used by the gentlemen. But, however, as they +could not suppose they were at liberty, in a civilized country, to take +their revenge on the persons of those who were entitled to the protection +of that country; he should expect, that they would hold themselves to be +personally answerable for their conduct at a proper tribunal. + +The villains, one of the men said, knew who they were, and what the +provocation was; which had merited a worse treatment than they had +hitherto met with. You, sir, proceeded he, seem to be a man of honour, +and temper: we are men of honour, as well as you. Our design, as we told +you, was not to kill the miscreants; but to give them reason to remember +their villainy as long as they lived; and to put it out of their power +ever to be guilty of the like. They have made a vile attempt, continued +he, on a lady's honour at Abbeville; and, finding themselves detected, +and in danger, took roundabout ways, and shifted from one vehicle to +another, to escape the vengeance of her friends. The gentleman, whose +horse you held, and who has reason to be in a passion, is the husband of +the lady. [A Spanish husband, surely, Harriet; not a French one, +according to our notions.] That gentleman, and that, are her brothers. +We have been in pursuit of them two days; for they gave out, (in order, +no doubt, to put us on a wrong scent,) that they were to go to Antwerp. + +And it seems, my dear, that Sir Hargrave and his colleague had actually +sent some of their servants that way; which was the reason that they were +themselves attended but by one. + +The gentleman told Sir Charles that there was a third villain in their +plot. They had hopes, he said, that he would not escape the close +pursuit of a manufacturer at Abbeville, whose daughter, a lovely young +creature, he had seduced, under promises of marriage. Their government, +he observed, were great countenancers of the manufacturers at Abbeville; +and he would have reason, if he were laid hold of, to think himself +happy, if he came off with being obliged to perform his promises. + +This third wretch must be Mr. Bagenhall. The Lord grant, say I, that he +may be laid hold of; and obliged to make a ruined girl an honest woman, +as they phrase it in LANCASHIRE. Don't you wish so, my dear? And let me +add, that had the relations of the injured lady completed their intended +vengeance on those two libertines; (a very proper punishment, I ween, for +all libertines;) it might have helped them to pass the rest of their +lives with great tranquillity; and honest girls might, for any +contrivances of theirs, have passed to and from masquerades without +molestation. + +Sir Hargrave and his companion intended, it seems, at first, to make some +resistance; four only, of the seven, stopping the chaise: but when the +other three came up, and they saw who they were, and knew their own +guilt, their courage failed them. + +The seventh man was set over the post-boy, whom he had led about half a +mile from the spot they had chosen as a convenient one for their purpose. + +Sir Hargrave's servant was secured by them at their first attack; but +after they had disarmed him and his masters, he found an opportunity to +slip from them, and made the best of his way to the road, in hopes of +procuring assistance for them. + +While Sir Charles was busy in helping the bruised wretches on their feet, +the seventh man came up to the others, followed by Sir Hargrave's chaise. +The assailants had retired to some distance, and, after a consultation +together, they all advanced towards Sir Charles; who, bidding his +servants be on their guard, leapt on his horse, with that agility and +presence of mind, for which, Mr. Beauchamp says, he excels most men; and +leading towards them, Do you advance, gentlemen, said he, as friends, or +otherwise?--Mr. Lowther took a pistol in each hand, and held himself +ready to support him; and the servants disposed themselves to obey their +master's orders. + +Our enmity, answered one of them, is only to these two inhospitable +villains: murder, as we told you, was not our design. They know where we +are to be found; and that they are the vilest of men, and have not been +punished equal to their demerits. Let them on their knees ask this +gentleman's pardon; pointing to the husband of the insulted lady. We +insist upon this satisfaction; and upon their promise, that they never +more will come within two leagues of Abbeville; and we will leave them to +your protection. I fancy, Harriet, that these women-frightening heroes +needed not to have been urged to make this promise. + +Sir Charles, turning towards them, said, If you have done wrong, +gentlemen, you ought not to scruple asking pardon. If you know +yourselves to be innocent, though I should be loath to risk the lives of +my friend and servants, yet shall not my countrymen make so undue a +submission. + +The wretches kneeled; and the seven men, civilly saluting Sir Charles and +Mr. Lowther, rode off; to the joy of the two delinquents, who kneeled +again to their deliverer, and poured forth blessings upon the man whose +life, so lately, one of them sought; and whose preservation he had now so +much reason to rejoice in, for the sake of his own safety. + +My brother himself could not but be well pleased that he was not obliged +to come to extremities, which might have ended fatally on both sides. + +By this time Sir Hargrave's post-chaise was come up. He and his +colleague were with difficulty lifted into it. My brother and Mr. +Lowther went into theirs; and being but a small distance from Paris, they +proceeded thither in company; the poor wretches blessing them all the +way; and at Paris found their other servants waiting for them. + +Sir Charles and Mr. Lowther saw them in bed in the lodgings that had been +taken for them. They were so stiff with the bastinado they had met with, +that they were unable to help themselves. Mr. Merceda had been more +severely (I cannot call it more cruelly) treated than the other; for he, +it seems, was the greatest malefactor in the attempt made upon the lady: +and he had, besides, two or three gashes, which, but for his struggles, +would have been but one. + +As you, my dear, always turn pale when the word masquerade is mentioned; +so, I warrant, will ABBEVILLE be a word of terror to these wretches, as +long as they live. + +Their enemies, it seems, carried off their arms; perhaps, in the true +spirit of French chivalry, with a view to lay them, as so many trophies, +at the feet of the insulted lady. + +Mr. Lowther writes, that my brother and he are lodged in the hotel of a +man of quality, a dear friend of the late Mr. Danby, and one of the three +whom he has remembered in his will; and that Sir Charles is extremely +busy in relation to the executorship; and, having not a moment to spare, +desired Mr. Lowther to engage his friend, to whom he wrote, to let us +know as much; and that he was hastening every thing for his journey +onwards. + +Mr. Beauchamp's narrative of this affair is, as I told you, very +circumstantial. I thought to have shortened it more than I have done. I +wish I have not made my abstract confused, in several material places: +but I have not time to clear it up. Adieu, my dear. + +CHARLOTTE G----. + + + +LETTER XLI + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +SUNDAY, MAY 7. + + +I believe I shall become as arrant a scribbler as somebody else. I begin +to like writing. A great compliment to you, I assure you. I see one may +bring one's mind to any thing.--I thought I must have had recourse, when +you and my brother left us, and when I was married, to the public +amusements, to fill up my leisure: and as I have seen every thing worth +seeing of those, many times over; (masquerades excepted, and them I +despise;) time, you know, in that case, would have passed a little +heavily, after having shewn myself, and, by seeing who and who were +together, laid in a little store of the right sort of conversation for +the tea-table. For you know, Harriet, that among us modern fine people, +the company, and not the entertainment, is the principal part of the +raree-show. Pretty enough! to make the entertainment, and pay for it +too, to the honest fellows, who have nothing to do, but to project +schemes to get us together. + +I don't know what to do with this man. I little thought that I was to be +considered as such a doll, such a toy, as he would make me. I want to +drive him out of the house without me, were it but to purvey for me news +and scandal. What are your fine gentlemen fit for else? You know, that, +with all my faults, I have a domestic and managing turn. A man should +encourage that in a wife, and not be perpetually teasing her for her +company abroad, unless he did it with a view to keep her at home. Our +sex don't love to be prescribed to, even in the things from which they +are not naturally averse: and for this very reason, perhaps, because it +becomes us to submit to prescription. Human nature, Harriet, is a +perverse thing. I believe, if my good man wished me to stay at home, I +should torture my brain, as other good wives do, for inventions to go +abroad. + +It was but yesterday, that in order to give him a hint, I pinned my apron +to his coat, without considering who was likely to be a sufferer by it; +and he, getting up, in his usual nimble way, gave it a rent, and then +looked behind him with so much apprehension--Hands folded, eyes goggling, +bag in motion from shoulder to shoulder. I was vexed too much to make +the use of the trick which I had designed, and huffed him. He made +excuses, and looked pitifully; bringing in his soul, to testify that he +knew not how it could be. How it could be! Wretch! When you are always +squatting upon one's clothes, in defiance of hoop, or distance. + +He went out directly, and brought me in two aprons, either of which was +worth twenty of that he so carelessly rent. Who could be angry with him? +--I was, indeed, thinking to chide him for this--As if I were not to be +trusted to buy my own clothes; but he looked at me with so good-natured +an eye, that I relented, and accepted, with a bow of graciousness, his +present; only calling him an odd creature--And that he is, you know, my +dear. + +We live very whimsically, in the main: not above four quarrels, however, +and as many more chidings, in a day. What does the man stay at home for +then so much, when I am at home?--Married people, by frequent absences, +may have a chance for a little happiness. How many debatings, if not +direct quarrels, are saved by the good man's and his meek wife's seeing +each other but once or twice a week! In what can men and women, who are +much together, employ themselves, but in proving and defending, +quarrelling and making up? Especially if they both chance to marry for +love (which, thank Heaven, is not altogether my case); for then both +honest souls, having promised more happiness to each other than they can +possibly meet with, have nothing to do but reproach each other, at least +tacitly, for their disappointment--A great deal of free-masonry in love, +my dear, believe me! The secret, like that, when found out, is hardly +worth the knowing. + +Well, but what silly rattle is this, Charlotte! methinks you say, and put +on one of your wisest looks. + +No matter, Harriet! There may be some wisdom in much folly. Every one +speaks not out so plainly as I do. But when the novelty of an +acquisition or change of condition is over, be the change or the +acquisition what it will, the principal pleasure is over, and other +novelties are hunted after, to keep the pool of life from stagnating. + +This is a serious truth, my dear, and I expect you to praise me for it. +You are very sparing of your praise to poor me; and yet I had rather have +your good word, than any woman's in the world: or man's either, I was +going to say; but I should then have forgot my brother. As for Lord +G----, were I to accustom him to obligingness, I should destroy my own +consequence: for then it would be no novelty; and he would be hunting +after a new folly.--Very true, Harriet. + +Well, but we have had a good serious falling-out; and it still subsists. +It began on Friday night; present, Lord and Lady L----, and Emily. I was +very angry with him for bringing it on before them. The man has no +discretion, my dear; none at all. And what about? Why, we have not made +our appearance at court, forsooth. + +A very confident thing, this same appearance, I think! A compliment made +to fine clothes and jewels, at the expense of modesty. + +Lord G---- pleads decorum--Decorum against modesty, my dear!--But if by +decorum is meant fashion, I have in a hundred instances found decorum +beat modesty out of the house. And as my brother, who would have been +our principal honour on such an occasion, is gone abroad; and as ours is +an elderly novelty, as I may say, [Our fineries were not ready, you know, +before my brother went,] I was fervent against it. + +'I was the only woman of condition, in England, who would be against it.' + +I told my lord, that was a reflection on my sex: but Lord and Lady L----, +who had been spoken to, I believe, by Lady Gertrude, were both on his +side--[I shall have this man utterly ruined for a husband among you]-- +When there were three to one, it would have looked cowardly to yield, you +know. I was brave. But it being proposed for Sunday, and that being at +a little distance, it was not doubted but I would comply. So the night +passed off, with prayings, hopings, and a little mutteration. [Allow me +that word, or find me a better.] The entreaty was renewed in the +morning; but, no!--'I was ashamed of him,' he said. I asked him if he +really thought so?--'He should think so, if I refused him.' Heaven +forbid, my lord, that I, who contend for the liberty of acting, should +hinder you from the liberty of thinking! Only one piece of advice, +honest friend, said I: don't imagine the worst against yourself: and +another, if you have a mind to carry a point with me, don't bring on the +cause before any body else: for that would be to doubt either my duty, or +your own reasonableness. + +As sure as you are alive, Harriet, the man made an exception against +being called honest friend; as if, as I told him, either of the words +were incompatible with quality. So, once, he was as froppish as a child, +on my calling him the man; a higher distinction, I think, than if I had +called him a king, or a prince. THE MAN!--Strange creature! To except to +a distinction that implies, that he is the man of men!--You see what a +captious mortal I have been forced to call my lord. But lord and master +do not always go together; though they do too often, for the happiness of +many a meek soul of our sex. + +Well, this debate seemed suspended, by my telling him, that if I were +presented at court, I would not have either the Earl or Lady Gertrude go +with us, the very people who were most desirous to be there--But I might +not think of that, at the time, you know--I would not be thought very +perverse; only a little whimsical, or so. And I wanted not an excellent +reason for excluding them--'Are their consents to our past affair +doubted, my lord, said I, that you think it necessary for them to appear +to justify us?' + +He could say nothing to this, you know. And I should never forgive the +husband, as I told him, on another occasion, who would pretend to argue, +when he had nothing to say. + +Then (for the baby will be always craving something) he wanted me to go +abroad with him--I forget whither--But to some place that he supposed +(poor man!) I should like to visit. I told him, I dared to say, he +wished to be thought a modern husband, and a fashionable man; and he +would get a bad name, if he could never stir out without his wife. +Neither could he answer that, you know. + +Well, we went on, mutter, mutter, grumble, grumble, the thunder rolling +at a distance; a little impatience now and then, however, portending, +that it would come nearer. But, as yet, it was only, Pray, my dear, +oblige me; and, Pray, my lord, excuse me; till this morning, when he had +the assurance to be pretty peremptory; hinting, that the lord in waiting +had been spoken to. A fine time of it would a wife have, if she were not +at liberty to dress herself as she pleases. Were I to choose again, I do +assure you, my dear, it should not be a man, who by his taste for moths +and butterflies, shells, china, and such-like trifles, would give me +warning, that he would presume to dress his baby, and when he had done, +would perhaps admire his own fancy more than her person. I believe, my +Harriet, I shall make you afraid of matrimony: but I will pursue my +subject, for all that-- + +When the insolent saw that I did not dress, as he would have had me; he +drew out his face, glouting, to half the length of my arm; but was +silent. Soon after Lady L---- sending to know whether her lord and she +were to attend us to the drawing-room, and I returning for answer, that I +should be glad of their company at dinner; he was in violent wrath. +True, as you are alive! and dressing himself in a great hurry, left the +house, without saying, By your leave, With your leave, or whether he +would return to dinner, or not. Very pretty doings, Harriet! + +Lord and Lady L---- came to dinner, however. I thought they were very +kind, and, till they opened their lips, was going to thank them: for +then, it was all elder sister, and insolent brother-in-law, I do assure +you. Upon my word, Harriet, they took upon them. Lady L---- told me, I +might be the happiest creature in the world, if--and there was so good as +to stop. + +One of the happiest only, Lady L----! Who can be happier than you? + +But I, said she, should neither be so, nor deserve to be so, if--Good of +her again, to stop at if. + +We cannot be all of one mind, replied I. I shall be wiser, in time. + +Where was poor Lord G---- gone? + +Poor Lord G---- is gone to seek his fortune, I believe. + +What did I mean? + +I told them the airs he had given himself; and that he was gone without +leave, or notice of return. + +He had served me right, ab-solutely right, Lord L---- said. + +I believed so myself. Lord G---- was a very good sort of man, and ought +not to bear with me so much as he had done: but it would be kind in them, +not to tell him what I had owned. + +The earl lifted up one hand; the countess both. They had not come to +dine with me, they said, after the answer I had returned, but as they +were afraid something was wrong between us. + +Mediators are not to be of one side only, I said: and as they had been so +kindly free in blaming me, I hoped they would be as free with him, when +they saw him. + +And then it was, For God's sake, Charlotte; and, Let me entreat you, Lady +G----. And let me, too, beseech you, madam, said Emily, with tears +stealing down her cheeks. + +You are both very good: you are a sweet girl, Emily. I have a +too-playful heart. It will give me some pain, and some pleasure; but if +I had not more pleasure than pain from my play, I should not be so silly. + +My lord not coming in, and the dinner being ready, I ordered it to be +served.--Won't you wait a little longer for Lord G----? No. I hope he +is safe, and well. He is his own master, as well as mine; (I sighed, I +believe!) and, no doubt, has a paramount pleasure in pursuing his own +choice. + +They raved. I begged that they would let us eat our dinner with comfort. +My lord, I hoped, would come in with a keen appetite, and Nelthorpe +should get a supper for him that he liked. + +When we had dined, and retired into the adjoining drawing-room, I had +another schooling-bout: Emily was even saucy. But I took it all: yet, in +my heart, was vexed at Lord G----'s perverseness. + +At last, in came the honest man. He does not read this, and so cannot +take exceptions, and I hope you will not, at the word honest. + +So lordly! so stiff! so solemn!--Upon my word!--Had it not been Sunday, I +would have gone to my harpsichord directly. He bowed to Lord and Lady +L----, and to Emily, very obligingly; to me he nodded.--I nodded again; +but, like a good-natured fool, smiled. He stalked to the chimney; turned +his back towards it, buttoned up his mouth, held up his glowing face, as +if he were disposed to crow; yet had not won the battle.--One hand in his +bosom; the other under the skirt of his waistcoat, and his posture firmer +than his mind.--Yet was my heart so devoid of malice, that I thought his +attitude very genteel; and, had we not been man and wife, agreeable. + +We hoped to have found your lordship at home, said Lord L----, or we +should not have dined here. + +If Lord G---- is as polite a husband as a man, said I, he will not thank +your lordship for this compliment to his wife. + +Lord G---- swelled, and reared himself up. His complexion, which was +before in a glow, was heightened. + +Poor man! thought I.--But why should my tender heart pity obstinate +people?--Yet I could not help being dutiful.--Have you dined, my lord? +said I, with a sweet smile, and very courteous. + +He stalked to the window, and never a word answered he. + +Pray, Lady L----, be so good as to ask my Lord G---- if he has dined? +Was not this very condescending, on such a behaviour? + +Lady L---- asked him; and as gently-voiced as if she were asking the same +question of her own lord. Lady L---- is a kind-hearted soul, Harriet. +She is my sister. + +I have not, madam, to Lady L----, turning rudely from me, and, not very +civilly, from her. Ah! thought I, these men! The more they are courted +--Wretches! to find their consequence in a woman's meekness--Yet, I could +not forbear shewing mine.--Nature, Harriet! Who can resist constitution? + +What stiff airs are these! approaching him.--I do assure you, my lord, I +shall not take this behaviour well; and put my hand on his arm. + +I was served right. Would you believe it? The man shook off my +condescending hand, by raising his elbow scornfully. He really did! + +Nay, then!--I left him, and retired to my former seat. I was vexed that +it was Sunday: I wanted a little harmony. + +Lord and Lady L---- both blamed me, by their looks; and my lady took my +hand, and was leading me towards him. I shewed a little reluctance: and, +would you have thought it? out of the drawing-room whipt my nimble lord, +as if on purpose to avoid being moved by my concession. + +I took my place again. + +I beg of you, Charlotte, said Lady L----, go to my lord. You have used +him ill. + +When I think so, I will follow your advice, Lady L----. + +And don't you think so, Lady G----? said Lord L----. + +What! for taking my own option how I would be dressed to-day?--What! for +deferring--That moment in came my bluff lord--Have I not, proceeded I, +been forced to dine without him to-day? Did he let me know what account +I could give of his absence? Or when he would return?--And see, now, how +angry he looks! + +He traversed the room--I went on--Did he not shake off my hand, when I +laid it, smiling, on his arm? Would he answer me a question, which I +kindly put to him, fearing he had not dined, and might be sick for want +of eating? Was I not forced to apply to Lady L---- for an answer to my +careful question, on his scornfully turning from me in silence?--Might we +not, if he had not gone out so abruptly, nobody knows where, have made +the appearance his heart is so set upon?--But now, indeed, it is too +late. + +Oons, madam! said he, and he kimboed his arms, and strutted up to me. +Now for a cuff, thought I. I was half afraid of it: but out of the room +again capered he. + +Lord bless me, said I, what a passionate creature is this! + +Lord and Lady L---- both turned from me with indignation. But no wonder +if one, that they both did. They are a silly pair; and I believe have +agreed to keep each other in countenance in all they do. + +But Emily affected me. She sat before in one corner of the room, +weeping; and just then ran to me, and, wrapping her arms about me, Dear, +dear Lady G----, said she, for Heaven's sake, think of what our Miss +Byron said; 'Don't jest away your own happiness.' I don't say who is in +fault: but, my dear lady, do you condescend. It looks pretty in a woman +to condescend. Forgive me; I will run to my lord, and I will beg of +him---- + +Away she ran, without waiting for an answer--and, bringing in the +passionate wretch, hanging on his arm--You must not, my lord, indeed you +must not be so passionate. Why, my lord, you frighted me; indeed you +did. Such a word I never heard from your lordship's mouth-- + +Ay, my lord, said I, you give yourself pretty airs! Don't you? and use +pretty words; that a child shall be terrified at them! But come, come, +ask my pardon, for leaving me to dine without you. + +Was not that tender?--Yet out went Lord and Lady L----. To be sure they +did right, if they withdrew in hopes these kind words would have been +received as reconciliatory ones; and not in displeasure with me, as I am +half-afraid they did: for their good-nature (worthy souls!) does +sometimes lead them into misapprehensions. I kindly laid my hand on his +arm again.--He was ungracious.--Nay, my lord, don't once more reject me +with disdain--If you do--I then smiled most courteously. Carry not your +absurdities, my lord, too far: and I took his hand:--[There, Harriet, was +condescension!]--I protest, sir, if you give yourself any more of these +airs, you will not find me so condescending. Come, come, tell me you are +sorry, and I will forgive you. + +Sorry! madam; sorry!--I am indeed sorry, for your provoking airs! + +Why that's not ill said--But kimboed arms, my lord! are you not sorry for +such an air? And Oons! are you not sorry for such a word? and for such +looks too? and for quarreling with your dinner?--I protest, my lord, you +make one of us look like a child who flings away his bread and butter +because it has not glass windows upon it-- + +Not for one moment forbear, madam!-- + +Pr'ythee, pr'ythee--[I profess I had like to have said honest friend]--No +more of these airs; and, I tell you, I will forgive you. + +But, madam, I cannot, I will not-- + +Hush, hush; no more in that strain, and so loud, as if we had lost each +other in a wood--If you will let us be friends, say so--In an instant--If +not, I am gone--gone this moment--casting off from him, as I may say, +intending to mount up stairs. + +Angel, or demon, shall I call you? said he.--Yet I receive your hand, as +offered. But, for God's sake, madam, let us be happy! And he kissed my +hand, but not so cordially as it became him to do; and in came Lord and +Lady L---- with countenances a little ungracious. + +I took my seat next my own man, with an air of officiousness, hoping to +oblige him by it; and he was obliged: and another day, not yet quite +agreed upon, this parade is to be made. + +And thus began, proceeded, and ended, this doughty quarrel. And who +knows, but before the day is absolutely resolved upon, we may have half a +score more? Four, five, six days, as it may happen, is a great space of +time for people to agree, who are so much together; and one of whom is +playful, and the other will not be played with. But these kimbo and oons +airs, Harriet, stick a little in my stomach; and the man seems not to be +quite come to neither. He is sullen and gloomy, and don't prate away as +he used to do, when we have made up before. + +But I will sing him a song to-morrow: I will please the honest man, if I +can. But he really should not have had for a wife a woman of so sweet a +temper as your + +CHARLOTTE G----. + + + +LETTER XLII + +LADY G----, TO MISS BYRON +MONDAY, MAY 8. + + +My lord and I have had another little--Tiff, shall I call it? It came +not up to a quarrel. Married people would have enough to do, if they +were to trouble their friends every time they misunderstood one another. +And now a word or two of other people: not always scribbling of +ourselves. + +We have just heard, that our cousin Everard has added another fool of our +sex to the number of the weak ones who disgrace it: A sorry fellow! He +has been seen with her, by one whom he would not know, at Cuper's +Gardens; dressed like a sea-officer, and skulking like a thief into the +privatest walks of the place. When he is tired of the poor wretch, he +will want to accommodate with us by promises of penitence and +reformation, as once or twice before. Rakes are not only odious, but +they are despicable fellows. You will the more clearly see this, when I +assure you, from those who know, that this silly creature our cousin is +looked upon, among his brother libertines, and smarts, as a man of first +consideration! + +He has also been seen, in a gayer habit, at a certain gaming-table, near +Covent Garden; where he did not content himself with being an idle +spectator. Colonel Winwood, our informant, shook his head, but made no +other answer, to some of our inquiries. May he suffer! say I.--A sorry +fellow! + +Preparations are going on all so-fast at Windsor. We are all invited. +God grant that Miss Mansfield may be as happy a Lady W----, as we all +conclude she will be! But I never was fond of matches between sober +young women, and battered old rakes. Much good may do the adventurers, +drawn in by gewgaw and title!--Poor things!--But convenience, when that's +the motive, whatever foolish girls think, will hold out its comforts, +while a gratified love quickly evaporates. + +Beauchamp, who is acquainted with the Mansfields, is intrusted by my +brother, in his absence, with the management of the law-affairs. He +hopes, he says, to give a good account of them. The base steward of the +uncle Calvert, who lived as a husband with the woman who had been forced +upon his superannuated master in a doting fit, has been brought, by the +death of one of the children born in Mr. Calvert's life-time, and by the +precarious health of the posthumous one, to make overtures of +accommodation. A new hearing of the cause between them and the Keelings, +is granted; and great things are expected from it in their favour, from +some new lights thrown in upon that suit. The Keelings are frightened +out of their wits, it seems; and are applying to Sir John Lambton, a +disinterested neighbour, to offer himself as a mediator between them. +The Mansfields will so soon be related to us, that I make no apology for +interesting you in their affairs. + +Be sure you chide me for my whimsical behaviour to Lord G----. I know +you will. But don't blame my heart: my head only is wrong. + + +*** + + +A little more from fresh informations of this sorry varlet Everard. I +wished him to suffer; but I wished him not to be so very great a sufferer +as it seems he is. Sharpers have bit his head off, quite close to his +shoulders: they have not left it him to carry under his arm, as the +honest patron of France did his. They lend it him, however, now and +then, to repent with, and curse himself. The creature he attended to +Cuper's Gardens, instead of a country innocent, as he expected her to be, +comes out to be a cast mistress, experienced in all the arts of such, and +acting under the secret influences of a man of quality; who, wanting to +get rid of her, supports her in a prosecution commenced against him (poor +devil!) for performance of covenants. He was extremely mortified, on +finding my brother gone abroad: he intends to apply to him for his pity +and help. Sorry fellow! He boasted to us, on our expectation of our +brother's arrival from abroad, that he would enter his cousin Charles +into the ways of the town. Now he wants to avail himself against the +practices of the sons of that town by his cousin's character and +consequence. + +A combination of sharpers, it seems, had long set him as a man of +fortune: but, on his taking refuge with my brother, gave over for a +time their designs upon him, till he threw himself again in their way. + +The worthless fellow had been often liberal of his promises of marriage +to young creatures of more innocence than this; and thinks it very hard +that he should be prosecuted for a crime which he had so frequently +committed with impunity. Can you pity him? I cannot, I assure you. The +man who can betray and ruin an innocent woman, who loves him, ought to be +abhorred by men. Would he scruple to betray and ruin them, if he were +not afraid of the law?--Yet there are women, who can forgive such +wretches, and herd with them. + +My aunt Eleanor is arrived: a good, plump, bonny-faced old virgin. She +has chosen her apartment. At present we are most prodigiously civil to +each other: but already I suspect she likes Lord G---- better than I +would have her. She will perhaps, if a party should be formed against +your poor Charlotte, make one of it. + +Will you think it time thrown away, to read a further account of what is +come to hand about the wretches who lately, in the double sense of the +word, were overtaken between St. Denis and Paris? + +Sir Hargrave Pollexfen, it seems, still keeps his chamber: he is thought +not to be out of danger from some inward hurt, which often makes him +bring up blood in quantities. He is miserably oppressed by lowness of +spirits; and when he is a little better in that respect, his impatience +makes his friends apprehensive for his head. But has he intellects +strong enough to give apprehensions of that nature? Fool and madman we +often join as terms of reproach; but I believe, fools seldom run really +mad. + +Merceda is in a still more dangerous way. Besides his bruises, and a +fractured skull, he has, it seems, a wound in his thigh, which, in the +delirium he was thrown into by the fracture, was not duly attended to; +and which, but for his valiant struggles against the knife which gave the +wound, was designed for a still greater mischief. His recovery is +despaired of; and the poor wretch is continually offering up vows of +penitence and reformation, if his life may be spared. + +Bagenhall was the person who had seduced, by promises of marriage, and +fled for it, the manufacturer's daughter of Abbeville. He was overtaken +by his pursuers at Douay. The incensed father, and friends of the young +woman, would not be otherwise pacified than by his performing his +promise; which, with infinite reluctance, he complied with, principally +through the threats of the brother, who is noted for his fierceness and +resolution; and who once made the sorry creature feel an argument which +greatly terrified him. Bagenhall is at present at Abbeville, living as +well as he can with his new wife, cursing his fate, no doubt, in secret. +He is obliged to appear fond of her before her brother and father; the +latter being also a sour man, a Gascon, always boasting of his family, +and valuing himself upon a De, affixed by himself to his name, and +jealous of indignity offered to it. The fierce brother is resolved to +accompany his sister to England, when Bagenhall goes thither, in order, +as he declares, to secure to her good usage, and see her owned and +visited by all Bagenhall's friends and relations. And thus much of these +fine gentlemen. + +How different a man is Beauchamp! But it is injuring him, to think of +those wretches and him at the same time. He certainly has an eye to +Emily, but behaves with great prudence towards her: yet every body but +she sees his regard for her: nobody but her guardian runs in her head; +and the more, as she really thinks it is a glory to love him, because of +his goodness. Every body, she says, has the same admiration of him, that +she has. + +Mrs. Reeves desires me to acquaint you, that Miss Clements, having, by +the death of her mother and aunt, come into a pretty fortune, is +addressed to by a Yorkshire gentleman of easy circumstances, and is +preparing to leave the town, having other connexions in that county; but +that she intends to write to you before she goes, and to beg you to +favour her with now and then a letter. + +I think Miss Clements is a good sort of young woman: but I imagined she +would have been one of those nuns at large, who need not make vows of +living and dying aunt Eleanors, or Lady Gertrudes; all three of them good +honest souls! chaste, pious, and plain. It is a charming situation, when +a woman is arrived at such a height of perfection, as to be above giving +or receiving temptation. Sweet innocents! They have my reverence, if +not my love. How would they be affronted, if I were to say pity!--I +think only of my two good aunts, at the present writing. Miss Clements, +you know, is a youngish woman; and I respect her much. One would not +jest upon the unsightliness of person, or plainness of feature: but think +you she will not be one of those, who twenty years hence may put in a +boast of her quondam beauty? + +How I run on! I think I ought to be ashamed of myself. + +'Very true, Charlotte.' + +And so it is, Harriet. I have done--Adieu!--Lord G---- will be silly +again, I doubt; but I am prepared. I wish he had half my patience. + +'Be quiet, Lord G----! What a fool you are!'--The man, my dear, under +pretence of being friends, run his sharp nose in my eye. No bearing his +fondness: It is worse than insolence. How my eye waters!--I can tell +him--But I will tell him, and not you.--Adieu, once more. + +CHARLOTTE G---- + + + +LETTER XLIII + +MR. LOWTHER, TO JOHN ARNOLD, ESQ. +(HIS BROTHER-IN-LAW) IN LONDON. +BOLOGNA, MAY 5-16. + + +I will now, my dear brother, give you a circumstantial account of our +short, but flying journey. The 20th of April, O.S. early in the morning, +we left Paris, and reached Lyons the 24th, at night. + +Resting but a few hours, we set out for Pont Beauvoisin, where we arrived +the following evening: There we bid adieu to France, and found ourselves +in Savoy, equally noted for its poverty and rocky mountains. Indeed it +was a total change of the scene. We had left behind us a blooming +spring, which enlivened with its verdure the trees and hedges on the road +we passed, and the meadows already smiled with flowers. The cheerful +inhabitants were busy in adjusting their limits, lopping their trees, +pruning their vines, tilling their fields: but when we entered Savoy, +nature wore a very different face; and I must own, that my spirits were +great sufferers by the change. Here we began to view on the nearer +mountains, covered with ice and snow, notwithstanding the advanced +season, the rigid winter, in frozen majesty, still preserving its +domains: and arriving at St. Jean Maurienne the night of the 26th, the +snow seemed as if it would dispute with us our passage; and horrible was +the force of the boisterous winds, which sat full in our faces. + +Overpowered by the fatigues I had undergone in the expedition we had +made, the unseasonable coldness of the weather, and the fight of one of +the worst countries under heaven, still clothed in snow, and deformed by +continual hurricanes; I was here taken ill. Sir Charles was greatly +concerned for my indisposition, which was increased by a great lowness of +spirits. He attended upon me in person; and never had man a more kind +and indulgent friend. Here we stayed two days; and then, my illness +being principally owing to fatigue, I found myself enabled to proceed. +At two of the clock in the morning of the 28th, we prosecuted our +journey, in palpable darkness, and dismal weather, though the winds were +somewhat laid, and reaching the foot of Mount Cenis by break of day, +arrived at Lanebourg, a poor little village, so environed by high +mountains, that for three months in the twelve, it is hardly visited by +the cheering rays of the sun. Every object which here presents itself is +excessively miserable. The people are generally of an olive complexion, +with wens under their chins; some so monstrous, especially women, as +quite disfigure them. + +Here it is usual to unscrew and take in pieces the chaises, in order to +carry them on mules over the mountain: and to put them together on the +other side: For the Savoy side of the mountain is much more difficult to +pass than the other. But Sir Charles chose not to lose time; and +therefore lest the chaise to the care of the inn-keeper; proceeding, with +all expedition, to gain the top of the hill. + +The way we were carried, was as follows:--A kind of horse, as it is +called with you, with two poles, like those of chairmen, was the vehicle; +on which is secured a sort of elbow chair, in which the traveller sits. +A man before, another behind, carry this open machine with so much +swiftness, that they are continually running and skipping, like wild +goats, from rock to rock, the four miles of that ascent. If a traveller +were not prepossessed that these mountaineers are the surest-footed +carriers in the universe, he would be in continual apprehensions of being +overturned. I, who never undertook this journey before, must own, that I +could not be so fearless, on this occasion as Sir Charles was, though he +had very exactly described to me how every thing would be. Then, though +the sky was clear when we passed this mountain, yet the cold wind blew +quantities of frozen snow in our faces; insomuch that it seemed to me +just as if people were employed, all the time we were passing, to wound +us with the sharpest needles. They indeed call the wind that brings this +sharp-pointed snow, The Tormenta. + +An adventure, which any-where else might have appeared ridiculous, I was +afraid would have proved fatal to one of our chairmen, as I will call +them. I had flapt down my hat to screen my eyes from the fury of that +deluge of sharp-pointed frozen-snow; and it was blown off my head, by a +sudden gust, down the precipices: I gave it for lost, and was about to +bind a handkerchief over the woolen-cap, which those people provide to +tie under the chin; when one of the assistant carriers (for they are +always six in number to every chair, in order to relieve one another) +undertook to recover it. I thought it impossible to be done; the passage +being, as I imagined, only practicable for birds: however, I promised him +a crown reward, if he did. Never could the leaps of the most dexterous +of rope-dancers be compared to those of this daring fellow: I saw him +sometimes jumping from rock to rock, sometimes rolling down a declivity +of snow like a ninepin, sometimes running, sometimes hopping, skipping; +in short, he descended like lightning to the verge of a torrent, where he +found the hat. He came up almost as quick, and appeared as little +fatigued, as if he had never left us. + +We arrived at the top in two hours, from Lanebourg; and the sun was +pretty high above the horizon. Out of a hut, half-buried in snow, came +some mountaineers, with two poor sledges, drawn by mules, to carry us +through the Plain of Mount Cenis, as it is called, which is about four +Italian miles in length, to the descent of the Italian side of the +mountain. These sledges are not much different from the chairs, or +sedans, or horse, we then quitted; only the two under poles are flat, and +not so long as the others, and turning up a little at the end, to hinder +them from sticking fast in the snow. To the fore-ends of the poles are +fixed two round sticks, about two feet and a half long, which serve for a +support and help to the man who guides the mule, who, running on the snow +between the mule and the sledge, holds the sticks with each hand. + +It was diverting to see the two sledgemen striving to outrun each other. + +Encouraged by Sir Charles's generosity, we very soon arrived at the other +end of the plain. The man who walked, or rather ran, between the sledge +and the mule, made a continual noise; hallooing and beating the stubborn +beast with his fists, which otherwise would be very slow in its motion. + +At the end of this plain we found such another hut as that on the +Lanebourg side. Here they took off the smoking mules from the sledges, +to give them rest. + +And now began the most extraordinary way of travelling that can be +imagined. The descent of the mountain from the top of this side, to a +small village called Novalesa, is four Italian miles. When the snow has +filled up all the inequalities of the mountain, it looks, in many parts, +as smooth and equal as a sugar-loaf. It is on the brink of this rapid +descent that they put the sledge. The man who is to guide it, sits +between the feet of the traveller, who is seated in the elbow-chair, with +his legs at the outside of the sticks fixed at the fore-ends of the flat +poles, and holds the two sticks with his hands; and when the sledge has +gained the declivity, its own weight carries it down with surprising +celerity. But as the immense irregular rocks under the snow make now +and then some edges in the declivity, which, if not avoided, would +overturn the sledge; the guide, who foresees the danger, by putting his +foot strongly and dexterously in the snow next to the precipice, turns +the machine, by help of the above-mentioned sticks, the contrary way, +and by way of zig-zag goes to the bottom. Such was the velocity of this +motion, that we dispatched these four miles in less than five minutes; +and, when we arrived at Novalesa, hearing that the snow was very deep +most of the way to Susa, and being pleased with our way of travelling, we +had some mules put again to the sledges, and ran all the way to the very +gates of that city, which is seven miles distant from Mount Cenis. + +In our way we had a cursory view of the impregnable fortress of Brunetta, +the greatest part of which is cut out of the solid rock, and commands +that important pass. + +We rested all night at Susa; and, having bought a very commodious +post-chaise, we proceeded to Turin, where we dined; and from thence, the +evening of May 2, O.S. got to Parma by way of Alexandria and Placentia, +having purposely avoided the high road through Milan, as it would have +cost us a few hours more time. + +Sir Charles observed to me, when we were on the plain or flat top of +Mount Cenis, that had not the winter been particularly long and severe, +we should have had, instead of this terrible appearance of snow there, +flowers starting up, as it were, under our feet, of various kinds, which +are hardly to be met with anywhere else. One of the greatest dangers, he +told me, in passing this mount in winter, arises from a ball of snow, +which is blown down from the top by the wind, or falls down by some other +accident; which, gathering all the way in its descent, becomes instantly +of such a prodigious bigness, that there is hardly any avoiding being +carried away with it, man and beast, and smothered in it. One of these +balls we saw rolling down; but as it took another course than ours, we +had no apprehension of danger from it. + +At Parma we found expecting us, the bishop of Nocera, and a very reverend +father, Marescotti by name; who expressed the utmost joy at the arrival +of Sir Charles Grandison, and received me, at his recommendation, with a +politeness which seems natural to them. I will not repeat what I have +written before of this excellent young gentleman; intrepidity, bravery, +discretion, as well as generosity, are conspicuous parts of his +character. He is studious to avoid danger; but is unappalled in it. For +humanity, benevolence, providence for others, to his very servants, I +never met with his equal. + +My reception from the noble family to which he has introduced me; the +patient's case, (a very unhappy one!); and a description of this noble +city, and the fine country about it; shall be the subject of my next. +Assure all my friends of my health, and good wishes for them; and, my +dear Arnold, believe me to be + +Ever yours, &c. + + + +LETTER XLIV + +SIR CHARLES GRANDISON, TO DR. BARTLETT +BOLOGNA, WEDNESDAY, MAY 10-21. + + +I told you, my dear and reverend friend, that I should hardly write to +you till I arrived in this city. + +The affair of my executorship obliged me to stay a day longer at Paris +than I intended; but I have put every thing relating to that trust in +such a way, as to answer all my wishes. + +Mr. Lowther wrote to Mr. Arnold, a friend of his in London, the +particulars of the extraordinary affair we were engaged in between St. +Denis and Paris; with desire that he would inform my friends of our +arrival at that capital. + +We were obliged to stop two days at St. Jean de Maurienne. The +expedition we travelled with was too much for Mr. Lowther; and I +expected, and was not disappointed, from the unusual backwardness of the +season, to find the passage over Mount Cenis less agreeable than it +usually is in the beginning of May. + +The bishop of Nocera had offered to meet me any where on his side of the +mountains. I wrote to him from Lyons, that I hoped to see him at Parma, +on or about the very day that I was so fortunate as to reach the palace +of the Count of Belvedere in that city; where I found, that he and Father +Marescotti had arrived the evening before. They, as well as the count, +expressed great joy to see me; and when I presented Mr. Lowther to them, +with the praises due to his skill, and let them know the consultations I +had had with eminent physicians of my own country on Lady Clementina's +case, they invoked blessings upon us both, and would not be interrupted +in them by my eager questions after the health and state of mind of the +two dearest persons of their family.--Unhappy! very unhappy! said the +bishop. Let us give you some refreshment, before we come to particulars. + +To my repeated inquiries, Jeronymo, poor Jeronymo! said the bishop, is +living, and that is all we can say.--The sight of you will be a cordial +to his heart. Clementina is on her journey to Bologna from Naples. You +desired to find her with us, and not at Naples. She is weak; is obliged +to travel slowly. She will rest at Urbino two or three days. Dear +creature! What has she not suffered from the cruelty of her cousin +Laurana, as well as from her malady! The general has been, and is, +indulgent to her. He is married to a lady of great merit, quality, and +fortune. He has, at length, consented that we shall try this last +experiment, as the hearts of my mother and now lately of my father, as +well as mine, are in it. His lady would not be denied accompanying my +sister; and as my brother could not bear being absent from her, he +travels with them. I wish he had stayed at Naples. I hope, however, he +will be as ready, as you will find us all, to acknowledge the favour of +this visit, and the fatigue and trouble you have given yourself on our +account. + +As to my sister's bodily health, proceeded he, it is greatly impaired. +We are almost hopeless, with regard to the state of her mind. She speaks +not; she answers not any questions. Camilla is with her. She seems +regardless of any body else. She has been told, that the general is +married. His lady makes great court to her; but she heeds her not. We +are in hopes, that my mother, on her return to Bologna, will engage her +attention. She never yet was so bad as to forget her duty, either to +God, or her parents. Sometimes Camilla thinks she pays some little +attention to your name; but then she instantly starts, as in terror; +looks round her with fear; puts her finger to her lips, as if she dreaded +her cruel cousin Laurana should be told of her having heard it mentioned. + +The bishop and father both regretted that she had been denied the +requested interview. They were now, they said, convinced, that if that +had been granted, and she had been left to Mrs. Beaumont's friendly care, +a happy issue might have been hoped for: But now, said the bishop--Then +sighed, and was silent. + +I despatched Saunders, early the next morning, to Bologna, to procure +convenient lodgings for me, and Mr. Lowther. + +In the afternoon we set out for that city. The Count of Belvedere found +an opportunity to let me know his unabated passion for Clementina, and +that he had lately made overtures to marry her, notwithstanding her +malady; having been advised, he said, by proper persons, that as it was +not an hereditary, but an accidental disorder, it might be, in time, +curable. He accompanied us about half way in our journey; and, at +parting, Remember, chevalier, whispered he, that Clementina is the soul +of my hope: I cannot forego that hope. No other woman will I ever call +mine. + +I heard him in silence: I admired him for his attachment: I pitied him. +He said, he would tell me more of his mind at Bologna. + +We reached Bologna on the 15th, N.S. Saunders had engaged for me the +lodgings I had before. + +Our conversation on the road turned chiefly on the case of Signor +Jeronymo. The bishop and father were highly pleased with the skill, +founded on practice, which evidently appeared in all that Mr. Lowther +said on the subject: and the bishop once intimated, that, be the event +what it would, his journey to Italy should be made the most beneficial +affair to him he had ever engaged in. Mr. Lowther replied, that as he +was neither a necessitous nor a mean-spirited man, and had reason to be +entirely satisfied with the terms I had already secured to him; he should +take it unkindly, if any other reward were offered him. + +Think, my dear Dr. Bartlett, what emotions I must have on entering, once +more, the gates of the Porretta palace, though Clementina was not there. + +I hastened up to my Jeronymo, who had been apprized of my arrival. The +moment he saw me, Do I once more, said he, behold my friend, my +Grandison? Let me embrace the dearest of men. Now, now, have I lived +long enough. He bowed his head upon his pillow, and meditated me; his +countenance shining with pleasure in defiance of pain. + +The bishop entered: he could not be present at our first interview. + +My lord, said Jeronymo, make it your care that my dear friend be treated, +by every soul of our family, with the gratitude and respect which are due +to his goodness. Methinks I am easier and happier, this moment, than I +have been for the tedious space of time since I last saw him. He named +that space of time to the day, and to the very hour of the day. + +The marquis and marchioness signifying their pleasure to see me, the +bishop led me to them. My reception from the marquis was kind; from his +lady it was as that of a mother to a long-absent son. I had ever been, +she was pleased to say, a fourth son in her eye; and now, that she had +been informed that I had brought over with me a surgeon of experience, +and the advice in writing of eminent physicians of my country, the +obligations I had laid on their whole family, whatever were the success, +were unreturnable. + +I asked leave to introduce Mr. Lowther to them. They received him with +great politeness, and recommended their Jeronymo to his best skill. Mr. +Lowther's honest heart was engaged, by a reception so kind. He never, he +told me afterwards, beheld so much pleasure and pain struggling in the +same countenance, as in that of the lady; so fixed a melancholy, as in +that of the marquis. + +Mr. Lowther is a man of spirit, though a modest man. He is, as on every +proper occasion I found, a man of piety; and has a heart tender as manly. +Such a man, heart and hand, is qualified for a profession which is the +most useful and certain in the art of healing. He is a man of sense and +learning out of his profession, and happy in his address. + +The two surgeons who now attend Signor Jeronymo, are both of this +country. They were sent for. With the approbation, and at the request, +of the family, I presented Mr. Lowther to them; but first gave them his +character, as a modest man, as a man of skill, and experience; and told +them, that he had quitted business, and wanted not either fame or +fortune. + +They acquainted him with the case, and their methods of proceeding. Mr. +Lowther assisted in the dressings that very evening. Jeronymo would have +me to be present. Mr. Lowther suggested an alteration in their method, +but in so easy and gentle a manner, as if he doubted not, but such was +their intention when the state of the wounds would admit of that method +of treatment, that the gentlemen came readily into it. A great deal of +matter had been collected, by means of the wrong methods pursued; and he +proposed, if the patient's strength would bear it, to make an aperture +below the principal wound, in order to discharge the matter downward; and +he suggested the dressing with hollow tents and bandage, and to dismiss +the large tents, with which they had been accustomed to distend the +wound, to the extreme anguish of the patient, on pretence of keeping it +open, to assist the discharge. + +Let me now give you, my dear friend, a brief history of my Jeronymo's +case, and of the circumstances which have attended it; by which you will +be able to account for the difficulties of it, and how it has happened, +that, in such a space of time, either the cure was not effected, or that +the patient yielded not to the common destiny. + +In lingering cases, patients or their friends are sometimes too apt to +blame their physicians, and to listen to new recommendations. The +surgeons attending this unhappy case, had been more than once changed. +Signor Jeronymo, it seems, was unskilfully treated by the young surgeon +of Cremona, who was first engaged: he neglected the most dangerous wound; +and, when he attended to it, managed it wrong, for want of experience. +He is, therefore, very properly dismissed. + +The unhappy man had at first three wounds: one in his breast, which had +been for some time healed; one in his shoulder, which, through his own +impatience, having been too suddenly healed up, was obliged to be laid +open again: the other, which is the most dangerous, in the hip-joint. + +A surgeon of this place, and another of Padua, were next employed. The +cure not advancing, a surgeon of eminence, from Paris, was sent for. + +Mr. Lowther tells me, that this man's method was by far the most +eligible; but that he undertook too much; since, from the first, there +could not be any hope, from the nature of the wound in the hip-joint, +that the patient could ever walk, without sticks or crutches: and of this +opinion were the other two surgeons: but the French gentleman was so very +pragmatical, that he would neither draw with them, nor give reasons for +what he did; regarding them only as his assistants. They could not long +bear this usage, and gave up to him in disgust. + +How cruel is punctilio, among men of this science, in cases of difficulty +and danger! + +The present operators, when the two others had given up, were not, but by +leave of the French gentleman, called in. He valuing himself on his +practice in the Royal Hospital of Invalids at Paris, looked upon them as +theorists only; and treated them with as little ceremony as he had shewn +the others: so that at last, from their frequent differences, it became +necessary to part with either him, or them. His pride, when he knew that +this question was a subject of debate, would not allow him to leave the +family an option. He made his demand: it was complied with; and he +returned to Paris. + +From what this gentleman threw out at parting, to the disparagement of +the two others, Signor Jeronymo suspected their skill; and from a hint of +this suspicion, as soon as I knew I should be welcome myself, I procured +the favour of Mr. Lowther's attendance. + +All Mr. Lowther's fear is, that Signor Jeronymo has been kept too long in +hand by the different managements of the several operators; and that he +will sink under the necessary process, through weakness of habit. But, +however, he is of opinion, that it is requisite to confine him to a +strict diet, and to deny him wine and fermented liquors, in which he has +hitherto been indulged, against the opinion of his own operators, who +have been too complaisant to his appetite. + +An operation somewhat severe was performed on his shoulder yesterday +morning. The Italian surgeons complimented Mr. Lowther with the lancet. +They both praised his dexterity; and Signor Jeronymo, who will be +consulted on every thing that he is to suffer, blessed his gentle hand. + +At Mr. Lowther's request, a physician was yesterday consulted; who +advised some gentle aperitives, as his strength will bear it; and some +balsamics, to sweeten the blood and juices. + +Mr. Lowther told me just now, that the fault of the gentlemen who have +now the care of him, has not been want of skill, but of critical courage, +and a too great solicitude to oblige their patient; which, by their own +account, had made them forego several opportunities which had offered to +assist nature. In short, sir, said he, your friend knows too much of his +own case to be ruled, and too little to qualify him to direct what is to +be done, especially as symptoms must have been frequently changing. + +Mr. Lowther doubts not, he says, but he shall soon convince Jeronymo that +he merits his confidence, and then he will exact it from him; and, in so +doing, shall not only give weight to his own endeavours to serve him, but +rid the other two gentlemen of embarrasments which have often given them +diffidences, when resolution was necessary. + +In the mean time the family here are delighted with Mr. Lowther. They +will flatter themselves, they say, with hopes of their Jeronymo's +recovery; which, however, Mr. Lowther, for fear of disappointment, does +not encourage. Jeronymo himself owns, that his spirits are much revived; +and we all know the power that the mind has over the body. + +Thus have I given you, my reverend friend, a general notion of Jeronymo's +case, as I understand it from Mr. Lowther's as general representation of +it. + +He has prevailed upon him to accept of an apartment adjoining to that of +his patient. Jeronymo said, that when he knows he has so skilful a +friend near him, he shall go to rest with confidence; and good rest is of +the highest consequence to him. What a happiness, my dear Dr. Bartlett, +will fall to my share, if I may be an humble instrument, in the hand of +Providence, to heal this brother; and if his recovery shall lead the way +to the restoration of his sister; each so known a lover of the other, +that the world is more ready to attribute her malady to his misfortune +and danger, than to any other cause! But how early days are these, on +which my love and my compassion for persons so meritorious, embolden me +to build such forward hopes! + +Lady Clementina is now impatiently expected by every one. She is at +Urbino. The general and his lady are with her. His haughty spirit +cannot bear to think she should see me, or that my attendance on her +should be thought of so much importance to her. + +The marchioness, in a conversation that I have just now had with her, +hinted this to me, and besought me to keep my temper, if his high notion +of family and female honour should carry him out of his usual politeness. + +I will give you, my dear friend, the particulars of this conversation. + +She began with saying, that she did not, for her part, now think, that +her beloved daughter, whom once she believed hardly any private man could +deserve, was worthy of me, even were she to recover her reason. + +I could not but guess the meaning of so high a compliment. What answer +could I return that would not, on one hand, be capable of being thought +cool; on the other, of being supposed interested; and as if I were +looking forward to a reward that some of the family still think too high? +But, while I knew my own motives, I could not be displeased with a lady +who was not at liberty to act, in this point, according to her own will. + +I only said, (and it was with truth,) That the calamity of the noble lady +had endeared her to me, more than it was possible the most prosperous +fortune could have done. + +I, my good chevalier, may say any thing to you. We are undetermined +about every thing. We know not what to propose, what to consent to. +Your journey, on the first motion, though but from some of us, the dear +creature continuing ill; you in possession of a considerable estate, +exercising yourself in doing good in your native country; [You must think +we took all opportunities of inquiring after the man once so likely to be +one of us;] the first fortune in Italy, Olivia, though she is not a +Clementina, pursuing you in hopes of calling herself yours; (for to +England we hear she went, and there you own she is;) What obligations +have you laid upon us!--What can we determine upon? What can we wish? + +Providence and you, madam, shall direct my steps. I am in yours and your +lord's power. The same uncertainty, from the same unhappy cause, leaves +me not the thought, because not the power, of determination. The +recovery of Lady Clementina and her brother, without a view to my own +interest, fills up, at present, all the wishes of my heart. + +Let me ask, said the lady, (it is for my own private satisfaction,) Were +such a happy event, as to Clementina, to take place, could you, would +you, think yourself bound by your former offers? + +When I made those offers, madam, the situation on your side was the same +that it is now: Lady Clementina was unhappy in her mind. My fortune, it +is true, is higher: it is, indeed, as high as I wish it to be. I then +declared, that if you would give me your Clementina, without insisting on +one hard, on one indispensable article, I would renounce her fortune, and +trust to my father's goodness to me for a provision. Shall my accession +to the estate of my ancestors alter me?--No, madam: I never yet made an +offer, that I receded from, the circumstances continuing the same. If, +in the article of residence, the marquis, and you, and Clementina, would +relax; I would acknowledge myself indebted to your goodness; but without +conditioning for it. + +I told you, said she, that I put this question only for my own private +satisfaction: and I told you truth. I never will deceive or mislead you. +Whenever I speak to you, it shall be as if, even in your own concerns, I +spoke to a third person; and I shall not doubt but you will have the +generosity to advise, as such, though against yourself. + +May I be enabled to act worthy of your good opinion! I, madam, look upon +myself as bound; you and yours are free. + +What a pleasure is it, my dear Dr. Bartlett, to the proud heart of your +friend, that I could say this!--Had I sought, in pursuance of my own +inclinations, to engage the affections of the admirable Miss Byron, as I +might with honour have endeavoured to do, had not the woes of this noble +family, and the unhappy state of mind of their Clementina, so deeply +affected me; I might have involved myself, and that loveliest of women, +in difficulties which would have made such a heart as mine still more +unhappy than it is. + +Let me know, my dear Dr. Bartlett, that Miss Byron is happy. I rejoice, +whatever be my own destiny, that I have not involved her in my +uncertainties. The Countess of D---- is a worthy woman: the earl, her +son, is a good young man: Miss Byron merits such a mother; the countess +such a daughter. How dear, how important, is her welfare to me!--You +know your Grandison, my good Dr. Bartlett. Her friendship I presumed to +ask: I dared not to wish to correspond with her. I rejoice, for her +sake, that I trusted not my heart with such a proposal. What +difficulties, my dear friend, have I had to encounter with!--God be +praised, that I have nothing, with regard to these two incomparable +women, to reproach myself with. I am persuaded that our prudence, if +rashly we throw not ourselves into difficulties, and if we will exert it, +and make a reliance on the proper assistance, is generally proportioned +to our trials. + +I asked the marchioness after Lady Sforza, and her daughter Laurana; and +whether they were at Milan? + +You have heard, no doubt, answered she, the cruel treatment that my poor +child met with from her cousin Laurana. Lady Sforza justifies her in it. +We are upon extreme bad terms, on that account. They are both at Milan. +The general has vowed, that he never will see them more, if he can avoid +it. The bishop, only as a Christian, can forgive them. You, chevalier, +know the reason why we cannot allow our Clementina to take the veil. + +The particular reasons I have not, madam, been inquisitive about; but +have always understood them to be family ones, grounded on the dying +request of one of her grandfathers. + +Our daughter, sir, is entitled to a considerable estate which joins to +our own domains. It was purchased for her by her two grandfathers; who +vied with each other in demonstrating their love of her by solid effects. +One of them (my father) was, in his youth, deeply in love with a young +lady of great merit; and she was thought to love him: but, in a fit of +pious bravery, as he used to call it, when everything between themselves, +and between the friends on both sides, was concluded on, she threw +herself into a convent; and, passing steadily through the probationary +forms, took the veil; but afterwards repented, and took pains to let it +be known that she was unhappy. This gave him a disgust against the +sequestered life, though he was, in other respects, a zealous Catholic. +And Clementina having always a serious turn; in order to deter her from +embracing it, (both grandfathers being desirous of strengthening their +house, as well in the female as male line,) they inserted a clause in +each of their wills, by which they gave the estate designed for her, in +case she took the veil, to Laurana, and her descendants; Laurana to enter +into possession of it on the day that Clementina should be professed. +But if Clementina married, Laurana was then to be entitled only to a +handsome legacy, that she might not be entirely disappointed: for the +reversion, in case Clementina had no children, was to go to our eldest +son; who, however, has been always generously solicitous to have his +sister marry. + +Both grandfathers were rich. Our son Giacomo, on my father's death, as +he had willed, entered upon a considerable estate in the kingdom of +Naples, which had for ages been in my family: he is therefore, and will +be, greatly provided for. Our second son has great prospects before him, +in the church: but you know he cannot marry. Poor Jeronymo! We had not, +before his misfortune, any great hopes of strengthening the family by his +means: he, alas! (as you well know, who took such laudable pains to +reclaim him, before we knew you,) with great qualities, imbibed free +notions from bad company, and declared himself a despiser of marriage. +This the two grandfathers knew, and often deplored; for Jeronymo and +Clementina were equally their favourites. To him and the bishop they +bequeathed great legacies. + +We suspected not, till very lately, that Laurana was deeply in love with +the Count of Belvedere; and that her mother and she had views to drive +our sweet child into a convent, that Laurana might enjoy the estate; +which they hoped would be an inducement to the count to marry her. Cruel +Laurana! Cruel Lady Sforza! So much love as they both pretended to our +child; and, I believe, had, till the temptation, strengthened by power, +became too strong for them. Unhappy the day that we put her into their +hands. + +Besides the estate so bequeathed to Clementina, we can do great things +for her: few Italian families are so rich as ours. Her brothers forget +their own interest, when it comes into competition with hers: she is as +generous as they. Our four children never knew what a contention was, +but who should give up an advantage to the other. This child, this sweet +child, was ever the delight of us all, and likewise of our brother the +Conte della Porretta. What joy would her recovery and nuptials give us! +--Dear creature! we have sometimes thought, that she is the fonder of the +sequestered life, as it is that which we wish her not to embrace.--But +can Clementina be perverse? She cannot. Yet that was the life of her +choice, when she had a choice, her grandfathers' wishes notwithstanding. + +Will you now wonder, chevalier, that neither our sons nor we can allow +Clementina to take the veil? Can we so reward Laurana for her cruelty? +Especially now, that we suspect the motives for her barbarity? Could I +have thought that my sister Sforza--But what will not love and avarice +do, their powers united to compass the same end; the one reigning in the +bosom of the mother, the other in that of the daughter? Alas! alas! they +have, between them, broken the spirit of my Clementina. The very name of +Laurana gives her terror--So far is she sensible. But, O sir, her +sensibility appears only when she is harshly treated! To tenderness she +had been too much accustomed, to make her think an indulgent treatment +new, or unusual. + +I dread, my dear Dr. Bartlett, yet am impatient, to see the unhappy lady. +I wish the general were not to accompany her. I am afraid I shall want +temper, if he forget his. My own heart, when it tells me, that I have +not deserved ill usage, (from my equals and superiors in rank, +especially,) bids me not bear it. I am ashamed to own to you, my +reverend friend, that pride of spirit, which, knowing it to be my fault, +I ought long ago to have subdued. + +Make my compliments to every one I love. Mr. and Mrs. Reeves are of the +number. + +Charlotte, I hope, is happy. If she is not, it must be her own fault. +Let her know, that I will not allow, when my love to both sisters is +equal, that she shall give me cause to say that Lady L---- is my best +sister. + +Lady Olivia gives me uneasiness. I am ashamed, my dear Dr. Bartlett, +that a woman of a rank so considerable, and who has some great qualities, +should lay herself under obligation to the compassion of a man who can +only pity her. When a woman gets over that delicacy, which is the test +or bulwark, as I may say, of modesty--Modesty itself may soon lie at the +mercy of an enemy. + +Tell my Emily, that she is never out of my mind; and that, among the +other excellent examples she has before her, Miss Byron's must never be +out of hers. + +Lord L---- and Lord G---- are in full possession of my brotherly love. + +I shall not at present write to my Beauchamp. In writing to you, I write +to him. + +You know all my heart. If in this, or my future letters, any thing +should fall from my pen, that would possibly in your opinion affect or +give uneasiness to any one I love and honour, were it to be communicated; +I depend upon your known and unquestionable discretion to keep it to +yourself. + +I shall be glad you will enable yourself to inform me of the way Sir +Hargrave and his friends are in. They were very ill at Paris; and, it +was thought, too weak, and too much bruised, to be soon carried over to +England. Men! Englishmen! thus to disgrace themselves, and their +country!--I am concerned for them! + +I expect large packets by the next mails from my friends. England, which +was always dear to me, never was half so dear as now, to + +Your ever-affectionate +GRANDISON. + + +END OF VOLUME 4 + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE HISTORY OF SIR CHARLES +GRANDISON, VOLUME 4 (OF 7)*** + + +******* This file should be named 13884.txt or 13884.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/8/8/13884 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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