diff options
| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:42:37 -0700 |
|---|---|---|
| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:42:37 -0700 |
| commit | a0056ae821d8665113b6a8c0ba6f05c996594f68 (patch) | |
| tree | 0a22b52607061201324d540e916e19e2e95ae0f5 | |
| -rw-r--r-- | .gitattributes | 3 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-0.txt | 1296 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-8.txt | 1686 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-8.zip | bin | 0 -> 20510 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h.zip | bin | 0 -> 539111 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/13649-h.htm | 2565 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/405.gif | bin | 0 -> 6149 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/406.gif | bin | 0 -> 6759 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/407.gif | bin | 0 -> 39916 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/408.gif | bin | 0 -> 6008 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/409.gif | bin | 0 -> 52985 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/410.gif | bin | 0 -> 8318 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/411.gif | bin | 0 -> 8992 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/412.gif | bin | 0 -> 3731 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/413.gif | bin | 0 -> 8660 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/414.gif | bin | 0 -> 7688 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/415.gif | bin | 0 -> 6470 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/416.gif | bin | 0 -> 4177 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/417.gif | bin | 0 -> 3872 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/418.gif | bin | 0 -> 5267 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/419.gif | bin | 0 -> 4770 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/420.gif | bin | 0 -> 6136 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/421.gif | bin | 0 -> 7660 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/422.gif | bin | 0 -> 4632 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/423.gif | bin | 0 -> 6832 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/424.gif | bin | 0 -> 11650 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/425.gif | bin | 0 -> 5620 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/426.gif | bin | 0 -> 8256 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/427.gif | bin | 0 -> 6495 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/428.gif | bin | 0 -> 7659 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/429.gif | bin | 0 -> 6879 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/430.gif | bin | 0 -> 3280 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/431.gif | bin | 0 -> 4949 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/432.gif | bin | 0 -> 5324 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/433.gif | bin | 0 -> 4988 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/434.gif | bin | 0 -> 5623 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/435.gif | bin | 0 -> 4963 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/436.gif | bin | 0 -> 4761 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/437.gif | bin | 0 -> 5478 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/438.gif | bin | 0 -> 9616 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/439.gif | bin | 0 -> 4150 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/440.gif | bin | 0 -> 4906 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/441.gif | bin | 0 -> 10369 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/442.gif | bin | 0 -> 2374 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/443.gif | bin | 0 -> 5898 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/444.gif | bin | 0 -> 7132 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/445.gif | bin | 0 -> 6611 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/446.gif | bin | 0 -> 8690 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/447.gif | bin | 0 -> 8365 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/448.gif | bin | 0 -> 5826 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/449.gif | bin | 0 -> 7302 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/450.gif | bin | 0 -> 2027 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/451.gif | bin | 0 -> 1564 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/a.gif | bin | 0 -> 1711 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/b.gif | bin | 0 -> 1590 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/c.gif | bin | 0 -> 1409 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/d.gif | bin | 0 -> 1759 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/e.gif | bin | 0 -> 1556 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/f.gif | bin | 0 -> 1708 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/g.gif | bin | 0 -> 1380 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/h.gif | bin | 0 -> 1821 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/i.gif | bin | 0 -> 1481 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/j.gif | bin | 0 -> 1454 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/k.gif | bin | 0 -> 1821 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/l.gif | bin | 0 -> 1642 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/m.gif | bin | 0 -> 2139 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/n.gif | bin | 0 -> 1797 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/o.gif | bin | 0 -> 1680 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/p.gif | bin | 0 -> 1261 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/q.gif | bin | 0 -> 1221 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/r.gif | bin | 0 -> 1265 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/s.gif | bin | 0 -> 1138 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/t.gif | bin | 0 -> 1228 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/u.gif | bin | 0 -> 1303 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/v.gif | bin | 0 -> 1306 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/w.gif | bin | 0 -> 1634 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/x.gif | bin | 0 -> 1335 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/y.gif | bin | 0 -> 1392 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/alphabet/z.gif | bin | 0 -> 1218 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif | bin | 0 -> 27787 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif | bin | 0 -> 698 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/bullet.gif | bin | 0 -> 145 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/images/learstrip.gif | bin | 0 -> 1719 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/music/pelican.ly | 126 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/music/pelican.midi | bin | 0 -> 2596 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/music/pelican.pdf | bin | 0 -> 31230 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/music/yonghy.ly | 149 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/music/yonghy.midi | bin | 0 -> 3060 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649-h/music/yonghy.pdf | bin | 0 -> 31708 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649.txt | 1686 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | 13649.zip | bin | 0 -> 20501 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | LICENSE.txt | 11 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | README.md | 2 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-8.txt | 1686 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-8.zip | bin | 0 -> 20510 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h.zip | bin | 0 -> 539111 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/13649-h.htm | 2565 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/405.gif | bin | 0 -> 6149 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/406.gif | bin | 0 -> 6759 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/407.gif | bin | 0 -> 39916 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/408.gif | bin | 0 -> 6008 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/409.gif | bin | 0 -> 52985 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/410.gif | bin | 0 -> 8318 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/411.gif | bin | 0 -> 8992 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/412.gif | bin | 0 -> 3731 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/413.gif | bin | 0 -> 8660 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/414.gif | bin | 0 -> 7688 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/415.gif | bin | 0 -> 6470 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/416.gif | bin | 0 -> 4177 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/417.gif | bin | 0 -> 3872 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/418.gif | bin | 0 -> 5267 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/419.gif | bin | 0 -> 4770 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/420.gif | bin | 0 -> 6136 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/421.gif | bin | 0 -> 7660 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/422.gif | bin | 0 -> 4632 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/423.gif | bin | 0 -> 6832 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/424.gif | bin | 0 -> 11650 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/425.gif | bin | 0 -> 5620 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/426.gif | bin | 0 -> 8256 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/427.gif | bin | 0 -> 6495 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/428.gif | bin | 0 -> 7659 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/429.gif | bin | 0 -> 6879 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/430.gif | bin | 0 -> 3280 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/431.gif | bin | 0 -> 4949 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/432.gif | bin | 0 -> 5324 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/433.gif | bin | 0 -> 4988 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/434.gif | bin | 0 -> 5623 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/435.gif | bin | 0 -> 4963 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/436.gif | bin | 0 -> 4761 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/437.gif | bin | 0 -> 5478 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/438.gif | bin | 0 -> 9616 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/439.gif | bin | 0 -> 4150 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/440.gif | bin | 0 -> 4906 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/441.gif | bin | 0 -> 10369 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/442.gif | bin | 0 -> 2374 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/443.gif | bin | 0 -> 5898 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/444.gif | bin | 0 -> 7132 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/445.gif | bin | 0 -> 6611 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/446.gif | bin | 0 -> 8690 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/447.gif | bin | 0 -> 8365 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/448.gif | bin | 0 -> 5826 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/449.gif | bin | 0 -> 7302 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/450.gif | bin | 0 -> 2027 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/451.gif | bin | 0 -> 1564 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/a.gif | bin | 0 -> 1711 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/b.gif | bin | 0 -> 1590 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/c.gif | bin | 0 -> 1409 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/d.gif | bin | 0 -> 1759 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/e.gif | bin | 0 -> 1556 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/f.gif | bin | 0 -> 1708 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/g.gif | bin | 0 -> 1380 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/h.gif | bin | 0 -> 1821 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/i.gif | bin | 0 -> 1481 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/j.gif | bin | 0 -> 1454 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/k.gif | bin | 0 -> 1821 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/l.gif | bin | 0 -> 1642 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/m.gif | bin | 0 -> 2139 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/n.gif | bin | 0 -> 1797 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/o.gif | bin | 0 -> 1680 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/p.gif | bin | 0 -> 1261 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/q.gif | bin | 0 -> 1221 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/r.gif | bin | 0 -> 1265 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/s.gif | bin | 0 -> 1138 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/t.gif | bin | 0 -> 1228 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/u.gif | bin | 0 -> 1303 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/v.gif | bin | 0 -> 1306 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/w.gif | bin | 0 -> 1634 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/x.gif | bin | 0 -> 1335 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/y.gif | bin | 0 -> 1392 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/alphabet/z.gif | bin | 0 -> 1218 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif | bin | 0 -> 27787 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif | bin | 0 -> 698 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/bullet.gif | bin | 0 -> 145 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/images/learstrip.gif | bin | 0 -> 1719 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/music/pelican.ly | 126 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/music/pelican.midi | bin | 0 -> 2596 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/music/pelican.pdf | bin | 0 -> 31230 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/music/yonghy.ly | 149 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/music/yonghy.midi | bin | 0 -> 3060 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649-h/music/yonghy.pdf | bin | 0 -> 31708 bytes | |||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649.txt | 1686 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | old/13649.zip | bin | 0 -> 20501 bytes |
182 files changed, 13736 insertions, 0 deletions
diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/13649-0.txt b/13649-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..9f7cf75 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1296 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13649 *** + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which + includes the original illustrations and music clips as well as + midi, pdf, and lilypond files. + See 13649-h.htm or 13649-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h/13649-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h.zip) + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS + +A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc. + +by + +EDWARD LEAR + +Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_, +_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc. + +With all the Original Illustrations + + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + +CONTENTS + + LAUGHABLE LYRICS + THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE + THE TWO OLD BACHELORS + THE PELICAN CHORUS + THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bò + THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES + THE NEW VESTMENTS + MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS + THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT + THE CUMMERBUND + THE AKOND OF SWAT + + NONSENSE BOTANY + + " ALPHABET, No. 5 + " " No. 6 + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS. + + +THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE. + +[Illustration] + + When awful darkness and silence reign + Over the great Gromboolian plain, + Through the long, long wintry nights; + When the angry breakers roar + As they beat on the rocky shore; + When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights + Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,-- + + Then, through the vast and gloomy dark + There moves what seems a fiery spark,-- + A lonely spark with silvery rays + Piercing the coal-black night,-- + A Meteor strange and bright: + Hither and thither the vision strays, + A single lurid light. + + Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,-- + Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps; + And ever as onward it gleaming goes + A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws. + And those who watch at that midnight hour + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as the wild light passes along,-- + "The Dong! the Dong! + The wandering Dong through the forest goes! + The Dong! the Dong! + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + Long years ago + The Dong was happy and gay, + Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl + Who came to those shores one day. + For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,-- + Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd + Where the Oblong Oysters grow, + And the rocks are smooth and gray. + And all the woods and the valleys rang + With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve._" + + Happily, happily passed those days! + While the cheerful Jumblies staid; + They danced in circlets all night long, + To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong, + In moonlight, shine, or shade. + For day and night he was always there + By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair, + With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair; + Till the morning came of that hateful day + When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away, + And the Dong was left on the cruel shore + Gazing, gazing for evermore,-- + Ever keeping his weary eyes on + That pea-green sail on the far horizon,-- + Singing the Jumbly Chorus still + As he sate all day on the grassy hill,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve_." + + But when the sun was low in the West, + The Dong arose and said,-- + "What little sense I once possessed + Has quite gone out of my head!" + And since that day he wanders still + By lake and forest, marsh and hill, + Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain, + Might I find my Jumbly Girl again! + For ever I'll seek by lake and shore + Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!" + + Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks, + Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks; + And because by night he could not see, + He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree + On the flowery plain that grows. + And he wove him a wondrous Nose,-- + A Nose as strange as a Nose could be! + + Of vast proportions and painted red, + And tied with cords to the back of his head. + In a hollow rounded space it ended + With a luminous Lamp within suspended, + All fenced about + With a bandage stout + To prevent the wind from blowing it out; + And with holes all round to send the light + In gleaming rays on the dismal night + + And now each night, and all night long, + Over those plains still roams the Dong; + And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe + You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe, + While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain, + To meet with his Jumbly Girl again; + Lonely and wild, all night he goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + And all who watch at the midnight hour, + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright, + Moving along through the dreary night,-- + "This is the hour when forth he goes, + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + Yonder, over the plain he goes,-- + He goes! + He goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + + + +THE TWO OLD BACHELORS. + +[Illustration] + +Two old Bachelors were living in one house; +One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse. +Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,-- +"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house, +Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey, +And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money? +And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner, +But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?" + +Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,-- +"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'! +If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well; +But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!" + +Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town +And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down; +They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found +In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round. + +But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north, +And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth; +And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,-- +An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page. +Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,-- +And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits! +Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),-- +When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps." + +Those two old Bachelors without loss of time +The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb; +And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook, +They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book. + +"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in! +We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!" + +But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book, +At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took; +And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,-- +At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town; +And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want + of Stuffin'), +The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin. + +They left their home in silence by the once convivial door; +And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more. + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans] + +[Illustration] + +THE PELICAN CHORUS. + + King and Queen of the Pelicans we; + No other Birds so grand we see! + None but we have feet like fins! + With lovely leathery throats and chins! + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still + + We live on the Nile. The Nile we love. + By night we sleep on the cliffs above; + By day we fish, and at eve we stand + On long bare islands of yellow sand. + And when the sun sinks slowly down, + And the great rock walls grow dark and brown, + + Where the purple river rolls fast and dim + And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim, + Wing to wing we dance around, + Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound, + Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought; + And this is the song we nightly snort,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Last year came out our Daughter Dell, + And all the Birds received her well. + To do her honor a feast we made + For every bird that can swim or wade,-- + Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black, + Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back, + Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds, + Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds: + Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight! + They ate and drank and danced all night, + And echoing back from the rocks you heard + Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Yes, they came; and among the rest + The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed. + Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float + Between the ends of his blue dress-coat; + With pea-green trowsers all so neat, + And a delicate frill to hide his feet + (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows + He has got no webs between his toes). + + As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell, + In violent love that Crane King fell,-- + On seeing her waddling form so fair, + With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair. + And before the end of the next long day + Our Dell had given her heart away; + For the King of the Cranes had won that heart + With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart. + She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes, + Leaving the Nile for stranger plains; + And away they flew in a gathering crowd + Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + And far away in the twilight sky + We heard them singing a lessening cry,-- + Farther and farther, till out of sight, + And we stood alone in the silent night! + Often since, in the nights of June, + We sit on the sand and watch the moon,-- + + She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain, + And we probably never shall meet again! + Oft, in the long still nights of June, + We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,-- + She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore. + And we probably never shall see her more. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bò] + +THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BÃ’. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the Coast of Coromandel + Where the early pumpkins blow, + In the middle of the woods + Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + Two old chairs, and half a candle, + One old jug without a handle,-- + These were all his worldly goods: + In the middle of the woods, + These were all the worldly goods + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bò. + + + II. + + Once, among the Bong-trees walking + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To a little heap of stones + Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + There he heard a Lady talking, + To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,-- + "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones! + On that little heap of stones + Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + III. + + "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly! + Sitting where the pumpkins blow, + Will you come and be my wife?" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + "I am tired of living singly-- + On this coast so wild and shingly,-- + I'm a-weary of my life; + If you'll come and be my wife, + Quite serene would be my life!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + IV. + + "On this Coast of Coromandel + Shrimps and watercresses grow, + Prawns are plentiful and cheap," + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + "You shall have my chairs and candle, + And my jug without a handle! + Gaze upon the rolling deep + (Fish is plentiful and cheap); + As the sea, my love is deep!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + V. + + Lady Jingly answered sadly, + And her tears began to flow,-- + "Your proposal comes too late, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + I would be your wife most gladly!" + (Here she twirled her fingers madly,) + "But in England I've a mate! + Yes! you've asked me far too late, + For in England I've a mate, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + + + VI. + + "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,-- + Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.) + Dorking fowls delights to send, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle, + And your jug without a handle,-- + I can merely be your friend! + Should my Jones more Dorkings send, + I will give you three, my friend! + Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bò! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + + + VII. + + "Though you've such a tiny body, + And your head so large doth grow,-- + Though your hat may blow away, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy, + Yet I wish that I could modi- + fy the words I needs must say! + Will you please to go away? + That is all I have to say, + Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bò! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!" + + + VIII. + + Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle, + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To the calm and silent sea + Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle, + Lay a large and lively Turtle. + "You're the Cove," he said, "for me; + On your back beyond the sea, + Turtle, you shall carry me!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + [Illustration] + + + IX. + + Through the silent-roaring ocean + Did the Turtle swiftly go; + Holding fast upon his shell + Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + With a sad primaeval motion + Towards the sunset isles of Boshen + Still the Turtle bore him well. + Holding fast upon his shell, + "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!" + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + X. + + From the Coast of Coromandel + Did that Lady never go; + On that heap of stones she mourns + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + On that Coast of Coromandel, + In his jug without a handle + Still she weeps, and daily moans; + On that little heap of stones + To her Dorking Hens she moans, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + + +THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Had once as many as we; + When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;" + He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!" + And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink + Lavender water tinged with pink; + For she said, "The World in general knows + There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!" + + + II. + + The Pobble who has no toes, + Swam across the Bristol Channel; + But before he set out he wrapped his nose + In a piece of scarlet flannel. + For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm + Can come to his toes if his nose is warm; + And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes + Are safe--provided he minds his nose." + + + III. + + The Pobble swam fast and well, + And when boats or ships came near him, + He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell + So that all the world could hear him. + And all the Sailors and Admirals cried, + When they saw him nearing the further side,-- + "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's + Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!" + + + IV. + + But before he touched the shore,-- + The shore of the Bristol Channel, + A sea-green Porpoise carried away + His wrapper of scarlet flannel. + And when he came to observe his feet, + Formerly garnished with toes so neat, + His face at once became forlorn + On perceiving that all his toes were gone! + + + V. + + And nobody ever knew, + From that dark day to the present, + Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes, + In a manner so far from pleasant. + Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray, + Or crafty Mermaids stole them away, + Nobody knew; and nobody knows + How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! + + + VI. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Was placed in a friendly Bark, + And they rowed him back, and carried him up + To his Aunt Jobiska's Park. + And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish, + Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish; + And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows, + That Pobbles are happier without their toes." + + + + +THE NEW VESTMENTS. + + There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess, + Who invented a purely original dress; + And when it was perfectly made and complete, + He opened the door and walked into the street. + + By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread, + In the middle of which he inserted his head; + His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice, + The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice; + His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes; + His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose; + His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops; + His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops; + His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border, + And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order; + And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather, + A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together. + + He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise, + Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys; + And from every long street and dark lane in the town + Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down. + Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak; + Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke; + Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat, + And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat; + An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his + Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies; + And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops, + Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops. + He tried to run back to his house, but in vain, + For scores of fat Pigs came again and again: + They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors; + They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers; + And now from the housetops with screechings descend + Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end: + They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat, + When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that; + They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice, + And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice; + They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,-- + Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all. + + And he said to himself, as he bolted the door, + "I will not wear a similar dress any more, + Any more, any more, any more, never more!" + + + + +MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS. + + I. + + Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Climbed to the top of a wall. + And they sate to watch the sunset sky, + And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry, + And the Biscuit Buffalo call. + They took up a roll and some Camomile tea, + And both were as happy as happy could be, + Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,-- + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head, + Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!! + Darling Mr. Discobbolos! + + + II. + + "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty, + Just like pieces of stone, + On to the thorns, or into the moat, + What would become of your new green coat? + And might you not break a bone? + It never occurred to me before, + That perhaps we shall never go down any more!" + And Mrs. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + What put it into your head + To climb up this wall, my own + Darling Mr. Discobbolos?" + + + III. + + Mr. Discobbolos answered, + "At first it gave me pain, + And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink + When your exclamation made me think + We might never get down again! + But now I believe it is wiser far + To remain for ever just where we are." + And Mr. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head + We shall never go down again, + Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + IV. + + So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Stood up and began to sing,-- + "Far away from hurry and strife + Here we will pass the rest of life, + Ding a dong, ding dong, ding! + We want no knives nor forks nor chairs, + No tables nor carpets nor household cares; + From worry of life we've fled; + Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + There is no more trouble ahead, + Sorrow or any such thing, + For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + + +THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the top of the Crumpetty Tree + The Quangle Wangle sat, + But his face you could not see, + On account of his Beaver Hat. + For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide, + With ribbons and bibbons on every side, + And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace, + So that nobody ever could see the face + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + II. + + The Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "Jam, and jelly, and bread + Are the best of food for me! + But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree + The plainer than ever it seems to me + That very few people come this way + And that life on the whole is far from gay!" + Said the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + III. + + But there came to the Crumpetty Tree + Mr. and Mrs. Canary; + And they said, "Did ever you see + Any spot so charmingly airy? + May we build a nest on your lovely Hat? + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + O please let us come and build a nest + Of whatever material suits you best, + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + IV. + + And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree + Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl; + The Snail and the Bumble-Bee, + The Frog and the Fimble Fowl + (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg); + And all of them said, "We humbly beg + We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,-- + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + V. + + And the Golden Grouse came there, + And the Pobble who has no toes, + And the small Olympian bear, + And the Dong with a luminous nose. + And the Blue Baboon who played the flute, + And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute, + And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,-- + All came and built on the lovely Hat + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + VI. + + And the Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "When all these creatures move + What a wonderful noise there'll be!" + And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon + They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon, + On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree, + And all were as happy as happy could be, + With the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + + +THE CUMMERBUND. +An Indian Poem. + + I. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + To watch the Evening Star, +And all the Punkahs, as they passed, + Cried, "My! how fair you are!" +Around her bower, with quivering leaves, + The tall Kamsamahs grew, +And Kitmutgars in wild festoons + Hung down from Tchokis blue. + + + II. + +Below her home the river rolled + With soft meloobious sound, +Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, + In myriads circling round. +Above, on tallest trees remote + Green Ayahs perched alone, +And all night long the Mussak moan'd + Its melancholy tone. + + + III. + +And where the purple Nullahs threw + Their branches far and wide, +And silvery Goreewallahs flew + In silence, side by side, +The little Bheesties' twittering cry + Rose on the flagrant air, +And oft the angry Jampan howled + Deep in his hateful lair. + + + IV. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + She heard the Nimmak hum, +When all at once a cry arose, + "The Cummerbund is come!" +In vain she fled: with open jaws + The angry monster followed, +And so (before assistance came) + That Lady Fair was swollowed. + + + V. + +They sought in vain for even a bone + Respectfully to bury; +They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!" + (And Echo answered, "Very.") +They nailed her Dobie to the wall, + Where last her form was seen, +And underneath they wrote these words, + In yellow, blue, and green: +"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! + Nor sit out late at night, +Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, + And swollow you outright." + + +NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874. + + + + +THE AKOND OF SWAT. + + + Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT? + Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? + Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair, or SQUAT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he wise or foolish, young or old? + Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, + And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk, or TROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? + Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or a COT, + The Akond of Swat? + + When he writes a copy in round-hand size, + Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Can he write a letter concisely clear + Without a speck or a smudge or smear or BLOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people like him extremely well? + Or do they, whenever they can, rebel, or PLOT, + At the Akond of Swat? + + If he catches them then, either old or young, + Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung, or _shot_, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people prig in the lanes or park? + Or even at times, when days are dark, GAROTTE? + O the Akond of Swat! + + Does he study the wants of his own dominion? + Or doesn't he care for public opinion a JOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + To amuse his mind do his people show him + Pictures, or any one's last new poem, or WHAT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, + Do they bring him only a few small cakes, or a LOT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe? + Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe, or a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to lie on his back in a boat + Like the lady who lived in that isle remote, SHALLOTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he quiet, or always making a fuss? + Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ, or a SCOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave? + Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or a GROTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he drink small beer from a silver jug? + Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug? or a POT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, + When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe, or ROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, + And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies? + When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake? + Does he sail about on an inland lake, in a YACHT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Some one, or nobody, knows I wot + Who or which or why or what + Is the Akond of Swat! + + +NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_. +The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the +monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus. + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE BOTANY. + + +[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.] + +[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.] + +[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.] + +[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.] + +[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.] + +[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.] + +[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.] + +[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.] + +[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.] + +[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyöides.] + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE ALPHABETS. + + + A + + [Illustration] + + A was an Area Arch + Where washerwomen sat; + They made a lot of lovely starch + To starch Papa's Cravat. + + + B + + [Illustration] + + B was a Bottle blue, + Which was not very small; + Papa he filled it full of beer, + And then he drank it all. + + + C + + [Illustration] + + C was Papa's gray Cat, + Who caught a squeaky Mouse; + She pulled him by his twirly tail + All about the house. + + + D + + [Illustration] + + D was Papa's white Duck, + Who had a curly tail; + One day it ate a great fat frog, + Besides a leetle snail. + + + E + + [Illustration] + + E was a little Egg, + Upon the breakfast table; + Papa came in and ate it up + As fast as he was able. + + + F + + [Illustration] + + F was a little Fish. + Cook in the river took it + Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish! + And, Cook! be quick and cook it!" + + + G + + [Illustration] + + G was Papa's new Gun; + He put it in a box; + And then he went and bought a bun, + And walked about the Docks. + + + H + + [Illustration] + + H was Papa's new Hat; + He wore it on his head; + Outside it was completely black, + But inside it was red. + + + I + + [Illustration] + + I was an Inkstand new, + Papa he likes to use it; + He keeps it in his pocket now, + For fear that he should lose it. + + + J + + [Illustration] + + J was some Apple Jam, + Of which Papa ate part; + But all the rest he took away + And stuffed into a tart. + + + K + + [Illustration] + + K was a great new Kite; + Papa he saw it fly + Above a thousand chimney pots, + And all about the sky. + + + L + + [Illustration] + + L was a fine new Lamp; + But when the wick was lit, + Papa he said, "This Light ain't good! + I cannot read a bit!" + + + M + + [Illustration] + + M was a dish of mince; + It looked so good to eat! + Papa, he quickly ate it up, + And said, "This is a treat!" + + + N + + [Illustration] + + N was a Nut that grew + High up upon a tree; + Papa, who could not reach it, said, + "That's _much_ too high for me!" + + + O + + [Illustration] + + O was an Owl who flew + All in the dark away, + Papa said, "What an owl you are! + Why don't you fly by day?" + + P + + [Illustration] + + P was a little Pig, + Went out to take a walk; + Papa he said, "If Piggy dead, + He'd all turn into Pork!" + + + Q + + [Illustration] + + Q was a Quince that hung + Upon a garden tree; + Papa he brought it with him home, + And ate it with his tea. + + + R + + [Illustration] + + R was a Railway Rug + Extremely large and warm; + Papa he wrapped it round his head, + In a most dreadful storm. + + + S + + [Illustration] + + S was Papa's new Stick, + Papa's new thumping Stick, + To thump extremely wicked boys, + Because it was so thick. + + + T + + [Illustration] + + T was a tumbler full + Of Punch all hot and good; + Papa he drank it up, when in + The middle of a wood. + + + U + + [Illustration] + + U was a silver urn, + Full of hot scalding water; + Papa said, "If that Urn were mine, + I'd give it to my daughter!" + + + V + + [Illustration] + + V was a Villain; once + He stole a piece of beef. + Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man! + That Villain is a Thief!" + + + W + + [Illustration] + + W was a Watch of Gold: + It told the time of day, + So that Papa knew when to come, + And when to go away. + + + X + + [Illustration] + + X was King Xerxes, whom + Papa much wished to know; + But this he could not do, because + Xerxes died long ago. + + + Y + + [Illustration] + + Y was a Youth, who kicked + And screamed and cried like mad; + Papa he said, "Your conduct is + Abominably bad!" + + + Z + + [Illustration] + + Z was a Zebra striped + And streaked with lines of black; + Papa said once, he thought he'd like + A ride upon his back. + + + + +ALPHABET, No. 6. + + A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood, + + B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!" + + C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm." + + D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm." + + E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well." + + F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell." + + G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold." + + H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold." + + I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon." + + J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!" + + K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see." + + L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea." + + M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction." + + N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction." + + O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink." + + P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think." + + Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail." + + R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail." + + S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!" + + T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!" + + U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!" + + V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!" + + W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!" + + X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!" + + Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!" + + Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master! + We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little + master! + We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad + disaster!" + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13649 *** diff --git a/13649-8.txt b/13649-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7cea67a --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1686 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Laughable Lyrics + +Author: Edward Lear + +Release Date: October 8, 2004 [eBook #13649] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS*** + + +E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney, A. Deubelbeiss, Stan +Goodman, and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which + includes the original illustrations and music clips as well as + midi, pdf, and lilypond files. + See 13649-h.htm or 13649-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h/13649-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h.zip) + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS + +A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc. + +by + +EDWARD LEAR + +Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_, +_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc. + +With all the Original Illustrations + + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + +CONTENTS + + LAUGHABLE LYRICS + THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE + THE TWO OLD BACHELORS + THE PELICAN CHORUS + THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bò + THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES + THE NEW VESTMENTS + MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS + THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT + THE CUMMERBUND + THE AKOND OF SWAT + + NONSENSE BOTANY + + " ALPHABET, No. 5 + " " No. 6 + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS. + + +THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE. + +[Illustration] + + When awful darkness and silence reign + Over the great Gromboolian plain, + Through the long, long wintry nights; + When the angry breakers roar + As they beat on the rocky shore; + When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights + Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,-- + + Then, through the vast and gloomy dark + There moves what seems a fiery spark,-- + A lonely spark with silvery rays + Piercing the coal-black night,-- + A Meteor strange and bright: + Hither and thither the vision strays, + A single lurid light. + + Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,-- + Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps; + And ever as onward it gleaming goes + A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws. + And those who watch at that midnight hour + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as the wild light passes along,-- + "The Dong! the Dong! + The wandering Dong through the forest goes! + The Dong! the Dong! + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + Long years ago + The Dong was happy and gay, + Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl + Who came to those shores one day. + For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,-- + Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd + Where the Oblong Oysters grow, + And the rocks are smooth and gray. + And all the woods and the valleys rang + With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve._" + + Happily, happily passed those days! + While the cheerful Jumblies staid; + They danced in circlets all night long, + To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong, + In moonlight, shine, or shade. + For day and night he was always there + By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair, + With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair; + Till the morning came of that hateful day + When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away, + And the Dong was left on the cruel shore + Gazing, gazing for evermore,-- + Ever keeping his weary eyes on + That pea-green sail on the far horizon,-- + Singing the Jumbly Chorus still + As he sate all day on the grassy hill,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve_." + + But when the sun was low in the West, + The Dong arose and said,-- + "What little sense I once possessed + Has quite gone out of my head!" + And since that day he wanders still + By lake and forest, marsh and hill, + Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain, + Might I find my Jumbly Girl again! + For ever I'll seek by lake and shore + Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!" + + Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks, + Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks; + And because by night he could not see, + He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree + On the flowery plain that grows. + And he wove him a wondrous Nose,-- + A Nose as strange as a Nose could be! + + Of vast proportions and painted red, + And tied with cords to the back of his head. + In a hollow rounded space it ended + With a luminous Lamp within suspended, + All fenced about + With a bandage stout + To prevent the wind from blowing it out; + And with holes all round to send the light + In gleaming rays on the dismal night + + And now each night, and all night long, + Over those plains still roams the Dong; + And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe + You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe, + While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain, + To meet with his Jumbly Girl again; + Lonely and wild, all night he goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + And all who watch at the midnight hour, + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright, + Moving along through the dreary night,-- + "This is the hour when forth he goes, + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + Yonder, over the plain he goes,-- + He goes! + He goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + + + +THE TWO OLD BACHELORS. + +[Illustration] + +Two old Bachelors were living in one house; +One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse. +Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,-- +"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house, +Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey, +And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money? +And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner, +But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?" + +Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,-- +"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'! +If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well; +But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!" + +Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town +And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down; +They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found +In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round. + +But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north, +And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth; +And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,-- +An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page. +Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,-- +And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits! +Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),-- +When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps." + +Those two old Bachelors without loss of time +The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb; +And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook, +They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book. + +"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in! +We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!" + +But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book, +At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took; +And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,-- +At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town; +And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want + of Stuffin'), +The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin. + +They left their home in silence by the once convivial door; +And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more. + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans] + +[Illustration] + +THE PELICAN CHORUS. + + King and Queen of the Pelicans we; + No other Birds so grand we see! + None but we have feet like fins! + With lovely leathery throats and chins! + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still + + We live on the Nile. The Nile we love. + By night we sleep on the cliffs above; + By day we fish, and at eve we stand + On long bare islands of yellow sand. + And when the sun sinks slowly down, + And the great rock walls grow dark and brown, + + Where the purple river rolls fast and dim + And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim, + Wing to wing we dance around, + Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound, + Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought; + And this is the song we nightly snort,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Last year came out our Daughter Dell, + And all the Birds received her well. + To do her honor a feast we made + For every bird that can swim or wade,-- + Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black, + Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back, + Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds, + Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds: + Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight! + They ate and drank and danced all night, + And echoing back from the rocks you heard + Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Yes, they came; and among the rest + The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed. + Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float + Between the ends of his blue dress-coat; + With pea-green trowsers all so neat, + And a delicate frill to hide his feet + (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows + He has got no webs between his toes). + + As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell, + In violent love that Crane King fell,-- + On seeing her waddling form so fair, + With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair. + And before the end of the next long day + Our Dell had given her heart away; + For the King of the Cranes had won that heart + With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart. + She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes, + Leaving the Nile for stranger plains; + And away they flew in a gathering crowd + Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + And far away in the twilight sky + We heard them singing a lessening cry,-- + Farther and farther, till out of sight, + And we stood alone in the silent night! + Often since, in the nights of June, + We sit on the sand and watch the moon,-- + + She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain, + And we probably never shall meet again! + Oft, in the long still nights of June, + We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,-- + She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore. + And we probably never shall see her more. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bò] + +THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BÒ. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the Coast of Coromandel + Where the early pumpkins blow, + In the middle of the woods + Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + Two old chairs, and half a candle, + One old jug without a handle,-- + These were all his worldly goods: + In the middle of the woods, + These were all the worldly goods + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bò. + + + II. + + Once, among the Bong-trees walking + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To a little heap of stones + Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + There he heard a Lady talking, + To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,-- + "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones! + On that little heap of stones + Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + III. + + "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly! + Sitting where the pumpkins blow, + Will you come and be my wife?" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + "I am tired of living singly-- + On this coast so wild and shingly,-- + I'm a-weary of my life; + If you'll come and be my wife, + Quite serene would be my life!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + IV. + + "On this Coast of Coromandel + Shrimps and watercresses grow, + Prawns are plentiful and cheap," + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + "You shall have my chairs and candle, + And my jug without a handle! + Gaze upon the rolling deep + (Fish is plentiful and cheap); + As the sea, my love is deep!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + V. + + Lady Jingly answered sadly, + And her tears began to flow,-- + "Your proposal comes too late, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + I would be your wife most gladly!" + (Here she twirled her fingers madly,) + "But in England I've a mate! + Yes! you've asked me far too late, + For in England I've a mate, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + + + VI. + + "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,-- + Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.) + Dorking fowls delights to send, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle, + And your jug without a handle,-- + I can merely be your friend! + Should my Jones more Dorkings send, + I will give you three, my friend! + Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bò! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + + + VII. + + "Though you've such a tiny body, + And your head so large doth grow,-- + Though your hat may blow away, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy, + Yet I wish that I could modi- + fy the words I needs must say! + Will you please to go away? + That is all I have to say, + Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bò! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!" + + + VIII. + + Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle, + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To the calm and silent sea + Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle, + Lay a large and lively Turtle. + "You're the Cove," he said, "for me; + On your back beyond the sea, + Turtle, you shall carry me!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + [Illustration] + + + IX. + + Through the silent-roaring ocean + Did the Turtle swiftly go; + Holding fast upon his shell + Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + With a sad primaeval motion + Towards the sunset isles of Boshen + Still the Turtle bore him well. + Holding fast upon his shell, + "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!" + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + X. + + From the Coast of Coromandel + Did that Lady never go; + On that heap of stones she mourns + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + On that Coast of Coromandel, + In his jug without a handle + Still she weeps, and daily moans; + On that little heap of stones + To her Dorking Hens she moans, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + + +THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Had once as many as we; + When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;" + He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!" + And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink + Lavender water tinged with pink; + For she said, "The World in general knows + There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!" + + + II. + + The Pobble who has no toes, + Swam across the Bristol Channel; + But before he set out he wrapped his nose + In a piece of scarlet flannel. + For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm + Can come to his toes if his nose is warm; + And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes + Are safe--provided he minds his nose." + + + III. + + The Pobble swam fast and well, + And when boats or ships came near him, + He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell + So that all the world could hear him. + And all the Sailors and Admirals cried, + When they saw him nearing the further side,-- + "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's + Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!" + + + IV. + + But before he touched the shore,-- + The shore of the Bristol Channel, + A sea-green Porpoise carried away + His wrapper of scarlet flannel. + And when he came to observe his feet, + Formerly garnished with toes so neat, + His face at once became forlorn + On perceiving that all his toes were gone! + + + V. + + And nobody ever knew, + From that dark day to the present, + Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes, + In a manner so far from pleasant. + Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray, + Or crafty Mermaids stole them away, + Nobody knew; and nobody knows + How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! + + + VI. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Was placed in a friendly Bark, + And they rowed him back, and carried him up + To his Aunt Jobiska's Park. + And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish, + Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish; + And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows, + That Pobbles are happier without their toes." + + + + +THE NEW VESTMENTS. + + There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess, + Who invented a purely original dress; + And when it was perfectly made and complete, + He opened the door and walked into the street. + + By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread, + In the middle of which he inserted his head; + His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice, + The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice; + His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes; + His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose; + His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops; + His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops; + His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border, + And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order; + And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather, + A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together. + + He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise, + Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys; + And from every long street and dark lane in the town + Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down. + Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak; + Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke; + Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat, + And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat; + An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his + Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies; + And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops, + Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops. + He tried to run back to his house, but in vain, + For scores of fat Pigs came again and again: + They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors; + They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers; + And now from the housetops with screechings descend + Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end: + They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat, + When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that; + They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice, + And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice; + They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,-- + Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all. + + And he said to himself, as he bolted the door, + "I will not wear a similar dress any more, + Any more, any more, any more, never more!" + + + + +MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS. + + I. + + Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Climbed to the top of a wall. + And they sate to watch the sunset sky, + And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry, + And the Biscuit Buffalo call. + They took up a roll and some Camomile tea, + And both were as happy as happy could be, + Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,-- + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head, + Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!! + Darling Mr. Discobbolos! + + + II. + + "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty, + Just like pieces of stone, + On to the thorns, or into the moat, + What would become of your new green coat? + And might you not break a bone? + It never occurred to me before, + That perhaps we shall never go down any more!" + And Mrs. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + What put it into your head + To climb up this wall, my own + Darling Mr. Discobbolos?" + + + III. + + Mr. Discobbolos answered, + "At first it gave me pain, + And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink + When your exclamation made me think + We might never get down again! + But now I believe it is wiser far + To remain for ever just where we are." + And Mr. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head + We shall never go down again, + Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + IV. + + So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Stood up and began to sing,-- + "Far away from hurry and strife + Here we will pass the rest of life, + Ding a dong, ding dong, ding! + We want no knives nor forks nor chairs, + No tables nor carpets nor household cares; + From worry of life we've fled; + Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + There is no more trouble ahead, + Sorrow or any such thing, + For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + + +THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the top of the Crumpetty Tree + The Quangle Wangle sat, + But his face you could not see, + On account of his Beaver Hat. + For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide, + With ribbons and bibbons on every side, + And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace, + So that nobody ever could see the face + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + II. + + The Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "Jam, and jelly, and bread + Are the best of food for me! + But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree + The plainer than ever it seems to me + That very few people come this way + And that life on the whole is far from gay!" + Said the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + III. + + But there came to the Crumpetty Tree + Mr. and Mrs. Canary; + And they said, "Did ever you see + Any spot so charmingly airy? + May we build a nest on your lovely Hat? + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + O please let us come and build a nest + Of whatever material suits you best, + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + IV. + + And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree + Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl; + The Snail and the Bumble-Bee, + The Frog and the Fimble Fowl + (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg); + And all of them said, "We humbly beg + We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,-- + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + V. + + And the Golden Grouse came there, + And the Pobble who has no toes, + And the small Olympian bear, + And the Dong with a luminous nose. + And the Blue Baboon who played the flute, + And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute, + And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,-- + All came and built on the lovely Hat + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + VI. + + And the Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "When all these creatures move + What a wonderful noise there'll be!" + And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon + They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon, + On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree, + And all were as happy as happy could be, + With the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + + +THE CUMMERBUND. +An Indian Poem. + + I. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + To watch the Evening Star, +And all the Punkahs, as they passed, + Cried, "My! how fair you are!" +Around her bower, with quivering leaves, + The tall Kamsamahs grew, +And Kitmutgars in wild festoons + Hung down from Tchokis blue. + + + II. + +Below her home the river rolled + With soft meloobious sound, +Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, + In myriads circling round. +Above, on tallest trees remote + Green Ayahs perched alone, +And all night long the Mussak moan'd + Its melancholy tone. + + + III. + +And where the purple Nullahs threw + Their branches far and wide, +And silvery Goreewallahs flew + In silence, side by side, +The little Bheesties' twittering cry + Rose on the flagrant air, +And oft the angry Jampan howled + Deep in his hateful lair. + + + IV. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + She heard the Nimmak hum, +When all at once a cry arose, + "The Cummerbund is come!" +In vain she fled: with open jaws + The angry monster followed, +And so (before assistance came) + That Lady Fair was swollowed. + + + V. + +They sought in vain for even a bone + Respectfully to bury; +They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!" + (And Echo answered, "Very.") +They nailed her Dobie to the wall, + Where last her form was seen, +And underneath they wrote these words, + In yellow, blue, and green: +"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! + Nor sit out late at night, +Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, + And swollow you outright." + + +NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874. + + + + +THE AKOND OF SWAT. + + + Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT? + Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? + Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair, or SQUAT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he wise or foolish, young or old? + Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, + And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk, or TROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? + Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or a COT, + The Akond of Swat? + + When he writes a copy in round-hand size, + Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Can he write a letter concisely clear + Without a speck or a smudge or smear or BLOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people like him extremely well? + Or do they, whenever they can, rebel, or PLOT, + At the Akond of Swat? + + If he catches them then, either old or young, + Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung, or _shot_, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people prig in the lanes or park? + Or even at times, when days are dark, GAROTTE? + O the Akond of Swat! + + Does he study the wants of his own dominion? + Or doesn't he care for public opinion a JOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + To amuse his mind do his people show him + Pictures, or any one's last new poem, or WHAT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, + Do they bring him only a few small cakes, or a LOT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe? + Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe, or a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to lie on his back in a boat + Like the lady who lived in that isle remote, SHALLOTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he quiet, or always making a fuss? + Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ, or a SCOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave? + Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or a GROTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he drink small beer from a silver jug? + Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug? or a POT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, + When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe, or ROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, + And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies? + When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake? + Does he sail about on an inland lake, in a YACHT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Some one, or nobody, knows I wot + Who or which or why or what + Is the Akond of Swat! + + +NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_. +The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the +monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus. + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE BOTANY. + + +[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.] + +[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.] + +[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.] + +[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.] + +[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.] + +[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.] + +[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.] + +[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.] + +[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.] + +[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyöides.] + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE ALPHABETS. + + + A + + [Illustration] + + A was an Area Arch + Where washerwomen sat; + They made a lot of lovely starch + To starch Papa's Cravat. + + + B + + [Illustration] + + B was a Bottle blue, + Which was not very small; + Papa he filled it full of beer, + And then he drank it all. + + + C + + [Illustration] + + C was Papa's gray Cat, + Who caught a squeaky Mouse; + She pulled him by his twirly tail + All about the house. + + + D + + [Illustration] + + D was Papa's white Duck, + Who had a curly tail; + One day it ate a great fat frog, + Besides a leetle snail. + + + E + + [Illustration] + + E was a little Egg, + Upon the breakfast table; + Papa came in and ate it up + As fast as he was able. + + + F + + [Illustration] + + F was a little Fish. + Cook in the river took it + Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish! + And, Cook! be quick and cook it!" + + + G + + [Illustration] + + G was Papa's new Gun; + He put it in a box; + And then he went and bought a bun, + And walked about the Docks. + + + H + + [Illustration] + + H was Papa's new Hat; + He wore it on his head; + Outside it was completely black, + But inside it was red. + + + I + + [Illustration] + + I was an Inkstand new, + Papa he likes to use it; + He keeps it in his pocket now, + For fear that he should lose it. + + + J + + [Illustration] + + J was some Apple Jam, + Of which Papa ate part; + But all the rest he took away + And stuffed into a tart. + + + K + + [Illustration] + + K was a great new Kite; + Papa he saw it fly + Above a thousand chimney pots, + And all about the sky. + + + L + + [Illustration] + + L was a fine new Lamp; + But when the wick was lit, + Papa he said, "This Light ain't good! + I cannot read a bit!" + + + M + + [Illustration] + + M was a dish of mince; + It looked so good to eat! + Papa, he quickly ate it up, + And said, "This is a treat!" + + + N + + [Illustration] + + N was a Nut that grew + High up upon a tree; + Papa, who could not reach it, said, + "That's _much_ too high for me!" + + + O + + [Illustration] + + O was an Owl who flew + All in the dark away, + Papa said, "What an owl you are! + Why don't you fly by day?" + + P + + [Illustration] + + P was a little Pig, + Went out to take a walk; + Papa he said, "If Piggy dead, + He'd all turn into Pork!" + + + Q + + [Illustration] + + Q was a Quince that hung + Upon a garden tree; + Papa he brought it with him home, + And ate it with his tea. + + + R + + [Illustration] + + R was a Railway Rug + Extremely large and warm; + Papa he wrapped it round his head, + In a most dreadful storm. + + + S + + [Illustration] + + S was Papa's new Stick, + Papa's new thumping Stick, + To thump extremely wicked boys, + Because it was so thick. + + + T + + [Illustration] + + T was a tumbler full + Of Punch all hot and good; + Papa he drank it up, when in + The middle of a wood. + + + U + + [Illustration] + + U was a silver urn, + Full of hot scalding water; + Papa said, "If that Urn were mine, + I'd give it to my daughter!" + + + V + + [Illustration] + + V was a Villain; once + He stole a piece of beef. + Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man! + That Villain is a Thief!" + + + W + + [Illustration] + + W was a Watch of Gold: + It told the time of day, + So that Papa knew when to come, + And when to go away. + + + X + + [Illustration] + + X was King Xerxes, whom + Papa much wished to know; + But this he could not do, because + Xerxes died long ago. + + + Y + + [Illustration] + + Y was a Youth, who kicked + And screamed and cried like mad; + Papa he said, "Your conduct is + Abominably bad!" + + + Z + + [Illustration] + + Z was a Zebra striped + And streaked with lines of black; + Papa said once, he thought he'd like + A ride upon his back. + + + + +ALPHABET, No. 6. + + A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood, + + B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!" + + C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm." + + D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm." + + E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well." + + F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell." + + G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold." + + H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold." + + I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon." + + J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!" + + K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see." + + L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea." + + M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction." + + N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction." + + O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink." + + P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think." + + Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail." + + R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail." + + S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!" + + T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!" + + U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!" + + V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!" + + W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!" + + X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!" + + Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!" + + Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master! + We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little + master! + We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad + disaster!" + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS*** + + +******* This file should be named 13649-8.txt or 13649-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: +https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + diff --git a/13649-8.zip b/13649-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1a23cff --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-8.zip diff --git a/13649-h.zip b/13649-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e185c5 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h.zip diff --git a/13649-h/13649-h.htm b/13649-h/13649-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a9a1e3c --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/13649-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2565 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear</title> +<style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[*/ +<!-- + body {font-family: Times, serif; margin-top:2px; margin-bottom:200px; margin-left: 3%; margin-right: 3%;} + p {margin-top: 2px;} + hr {color: #999999; border-style: solid} + ul {list-style-type: square;} + li {} + + h1 {text-align: center; margin-top:2px; margin-bottom:2px;} + h2 {text-align: center; margin-top:2px; margin-bottom:2px;} + h3 {text-align: center; margin-top:15px; margin-bottom:30px;} + h4 {text-align: center;} + +.book {} +.subbook {} +.chapter {} +.index {} + +.centeredimage {display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} +.smaller {font-size: 0.8em;} +.bigger {font-size: 1.3em;} +.largeletter {font-size: 5em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:0} +.smallletter {font-size: 2em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:0} +.alphaimage {display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top:20px; margin-bottom: 20px;} +.largecap {font-size: 1.3em;} + +.chapternumber {text-align: center; margin-top: 50px; margin-bottom:5px; font-weight: bold;} +.chapterdescription {text-align: center; font-size:0.8em;} +.versenumber {font-weight: bold;} +.learstrip {background-image: url(images/learstrip.gif); height: 30px;} + +.rhymemenu {padding-top:10px; font-size: 0.8em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0.5em;border-top: solid 1px #333333;} +.subbookmenu {padding-top:10px; font-size: 0.9em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0.5em; border-top: solid 1px #333333;} +.alphabetmenu {text-align: center;} + +.thecover {} +.tableofcontents {} +.note {font-size: 0.8em;} +.story {} +.rhyme {display: block; text-align: left; margin-bottom:20px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} +.longpoem {width: 60%; display: block; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto; margin-bottom:20px; text-align:left;} + .longpoem h3 {text-align: left} +.recipe {margin-right: 10%; margin-left:10%;} + +.botanygrid {text-align: center;} +.rhymegrid {} +.rhymegrid img {margin-bottom:5px;} +.alphagrid {text-align: center;} + +.i1 {display: block; margin-left: 2%;} +.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 4%;} +.i3 {display: block; margin-left: 6%;} +.i4 {display: block; margin-left: 8%;} +.i5 {display: block; margin-left: 10%;} +.i6 {display: block; margin-left: 12%;} +.i7 {display: block; margin-left: 14%;} +.i8 {display: block; margin-left: 16%;} +.i9 {display: block; margin-left: 18%;} +.i10 {display: block; margin-left: 20%;} +.i11 {display: block; margin-left: 22%;} +.i12 {display: block; margin-left: 24%;} +.i13 {display: block; margin-left: 26%;} +.i14 {display: block; margin-left: 28%;} +.i15 {display: block; margin-left: 30%;} +.i16 {display: block; margin-left: 32%;} +.i17 {display: block; margin-left: 34%;} +.i18 {display: block; margin-left: 36%;} +.i19 {display: block; margin-left: 38%;} +.i20 {display: block; margin-left: 40%;} +.i21 {display: block; margin-left: 42%;} +.i22 {display: block; margin-left: 44%;} +.i23 {display: block; margin-left: 46%;} +.i24 {display: block; margin-left: 48%;} +.i25 {display: block; margin-left: 50%;} +.i26 {display: block; margin-left: 52%;} + hr.pg { width: 100%; + color: #000000; + border-style: solid; } + a:link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:visited {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:hover {color:red} + pre {font-size: 8pt;} + --> + /*]]>*/ +</style> +</head> +<body> +<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear</h1> +<pre> +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: Laughable Lyrics</p> +<p>Author: Edward Lear</p> +<p>Release Date: October 8, 2004 [eBook #13649]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS***</p> +<br /><br /><h3>E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney,<br /> + A. Deubelbeiss, Stan Goodman,<br /> + and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders</h3><br /><br /> +<div class="book" id="book4"> + <hr /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip"> + <tr> + <td height="30"> + + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <hr /> + <div class="thecover" id="cover4"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page338" id="page338" title="338"></a> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="10" border="0" width="100%"> + <tr> + <td align="center" width="50%"> + <h1><span class="bigger">Laughable Lyrics:</span><br /> + A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc. + </h1> + <h2>by<br /> + Edward Lear,</h2> + <blockquote class="smaller"><i>Author of the 'Book of Nonsense' 'More Nonsense' 'Nonsense + Songs, Stories,' etc., etc.</i> + <img src="images/411.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /> + </blockquote> + <p align="center">With all the Original Illustrations.</p> + + <h4>1894</h4> + <p align="center">Originally published 1877</p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page339" id="page339" title="339"></a> + </td> + <td align="left"> + <p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book4.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /></a><br /> + <b>Original Cover</b><br />Click for larger version. + </p> + <ul class="tableofcontents" id="book4contents"> + <li><a href="#laughable"><b>Laughable Lyrics.</b></a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#dong">The Dong With A Luminous Nose</a></li> + <li><a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a></li> + <li><a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#pelicanmusic">sheet music</a></li> + <li><a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li> + </ul> + </li> + <li><a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò</a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#bomusic">sheet music</a></li> + <li><a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li> + </ul> + </li> + <li><a href="#pobble">The Pobble Who Has No Toes</a></li> + <li><a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a></li> + <li><a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a></li> + <li><a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a></li> + <li><a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a></li> + <li><a href="#akond">The Akond Of Swat</a></li> + </ul> + </li> + <li><a href="#botany3"><b>Nonsense Botany</b></a></li> + <li><a href="#alphabets2"><b>Nonsense Alphabets</b></a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a></li> + <li><a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a></li> + </ul> + </li> + </ul> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page340" id="page340" title="340"></a> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page341" id="page341" title="341"></a> + <hr /> + <div class="subbook" id="laughable"> + <h2>LAUGHABLE LYRICS.</h2> + <p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#dong">The Dong with a Luminous Nose</a> <a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a> <a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a> <a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò</a> <a href="#pobble">The Pobble who has no Toes</a> <a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a> <a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a> <a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a> <a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a> <a href="#akond">The Akond of Swat</a> + </p> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="dong"> + <img src="images/405.gif" alt="The Dong with a Luminous Nose" /> + <h3>THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.</h3> + <p> + <span class="largecap">W</span>hen awful darkness and silence reign<br /> + Over the great Gromboolian plain,<br /> + <span class="i2">Through the long, long wintry nights;</span> + When the angry breakers roar<br /> + As they beat on the rocky shore;<br /> + <span class="i2">When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights</span> + Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,— + </p> + <p> + Then, through the vast and gloomy dark<br /> + There moves what seems a fiery spark,—<br /> + <span class="i2">A lonely spark with silvery rays</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page342" id="page342" title="342"></a> + <span class="i4">Piercing the coal-black night,—</span> + <span class="i4">A Meteor strange and bright:</span> + <span class="i2">Hither and thither the vision strays,</span> + <span class="i4">A single lurid light.</span> + </p> + <p> + Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,—<br /> + Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;<br /> + And ever as onward it gleaming goes<br /> + A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.<br /> + And those who watch at that midnight hour<br /> + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br /> + Cry, as the wild light passes along,—<br /> + <span class="i4">"The Dong! the Dong!</span> + <span class="i2">The wandering Dong through the forest goes!</span> + <span class="i4">The Dong! the Dong!</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span> + </p> + <p> + <span class="i4">Long years ago</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong was happy and gay,</span> + Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl<br /> + <span class="i2">Who came to those shores one day.</span> + For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,—<br /> + Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd<br /> + <span class="i4">Where the Oblong Oysters grow,</span> + <span class="i2">And the rocks are smooth and gray.</span> + And all the woods and the valleys rang<br /> + With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,—<br /> + <i><span class="i6">"Far and few, far and few,</span> + <span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span> + <span class="i6">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span> + <span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i> + </p> + <p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page343" id="page343" title="343"></a> + Happily, happily passed those days!<br /> + <span class="i8">While the cheerful Jumblies staid;</span> + <span class="i4">They danced in circlets all night long,</span> + <span class="i4">To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,</span> + <span class="i8">In moonlight, shine, or shade.</span> + For day and night he was always there<br /> + By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,<br /> + With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;<br /> + Till the morning came of that hateful day<br /> + When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,<br /> + And the Dong was left on the cruel shore<br /> + Gazing, gazing for evermore,—<br /> + Ever keeping his weary eyes on<br /> + That pea-green sail on the far horizon,—<br /> + Singing the Jumbly Chorus still<br /> + As he sate all day on the grassy hill,—<br /> + <i><span class="i10">"Far and few, far and few,</span> + <span class="i10">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span> + <span class="i10">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span> + <span class="i10">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i> + </p> + <p> + But when the sun was low in the West,<br /> + <span class="i4">The Dong arose and said,—</span> + —"What little sense I once possessed<br /> + <span class="i4">Has quite gone out of my head!"</span> + And since that day he wanders still<br /> + By lake and forest, marsh and hill,<br /> + Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,<br /> + Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!<br /> + For ever I'll seek by lake and shore<br /> + Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!" + <a class="pagenumber" name="page344" id="page344" title="344"></a> + </p> + <p> + <span class="i2">Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,</span> + <span class="i2">Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;</span> + <span class="i2">And because by night he could not see,</span> + <span class="i2">He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree</span> + <span class="i4">On the flowery plain that grows.</span> + <span class="i4">And he wove him a wondrous Nose,—</span> + <span class="i2">A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!</span> + Of vast proportions and painted red,<br /> + And tied with cords to the back of his head.<br /> + <span class="i2">—In a hollow rounded space it ended</span> + <span class="i2">With a luminous Lamp within suspended,</span> + <span class="i4">All fenced about</span> + <span class="i4">With a bandage stout</span> + <span class="i4">To prevent the wind from blowing it out;</span> + <span class="i2">And with holes all round to send the light</span> + <span class="i2">In gleaming rays on the dismal night</span> + </p> + <p> + And now each night, and all night long,<br /> + Over those plains still roams the Dong;<br /> + And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe<br /> + You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,<br /> + While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,<br /> + To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;<br /> + Lonely and wild, all night he goes,—<br /> + The Dong with a luminous Nose!<br /> + And all who watch at the midnight hour,<br /> + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br /> + Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,<br /> + Moving along through the dreary night,—<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page345" id="page345" title="345"></a> + <span class="i2">"This is the hour when forth he goes,</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!</span> + <span class="i2">Yonder, over the plain he goes,—</span> + <span class="i4">He goes!</span> + <span class="i4">He goes,—</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="bachelors"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page346" id="page346" title="346"></a> + <img src="images/406.gif" alt="The Two Old Bachelors." /> + <h3> + THE TWO OLD BACHELORS. + </h3> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>wo old Bachelors were living in one house;<br /> + One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.<br /> + Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,—<br /> + "This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,<br /> + Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,<br /> + And what to do for dinner—since we haven't any money?<br /> + And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,<br /> + But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?" + </p> + <p> + Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,—<br /> + "We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!<br /> + If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;<br /> + But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!" + </p> + <p> + Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town<br /> + And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page347" id="page347" title="347"></a> + They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found<br /> + In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round. + </p> + <p> + But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,<br /> + And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;<br /> + And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,—<br /> + An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.<br /> + Climb up, and seize him by the toes,—all studious as he sits,—<br /> + And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!<br /> + Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),—<br /> + When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good—perhaps." + </p> + <p> + Those two old Bachelors without loss of time<br /> + The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;<br /> + And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,<br /> + They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book. + </p> + <p> + "You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!<br /> + We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!" + </p> + <p> + But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,<br /> + At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;<br /> + And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,—<br /> + At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;<br /> + And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want of Stuffin'),<br /> + The Mouse had fled—and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin. + </p> + <p> + They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;<br /> + And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more. + <a class="pagenumber" name="page348" id="page348" title="348"></a> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="pelican"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page349" id="page349" title="349"></a> + <h3> + THE PELICAN CHORUS. + </h3> + <img src="images/408.gif" alt="The Pelican Chorus" /> + <p> + <span class="largecap">K</span>ing and Queen of the Pelicans we;<br /> + No other Birds so grand we see!<br /> + None but we have feet like fins!<br /> + With lovely leathery throats and chins!<br /> + <span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!</span> + <span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still</span> + </p> + <p> + We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.<br /> + By night we sleep on the cliffs above;<br /> + By day we fish, and at eve we stand<br /> + On long bare islands of yellow sand.<br /> + And when the sun sinks slowly down,<br /> + And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page350" id="page350" title="350"></a> + Where the purple river rolls fast and dim<br /> + And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,<br /> + Wing to wing we dance around,<br /> + Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,<br /> + Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;<br /> + And this is the song we nightly snort,—<br /> + <span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + Last year came out our Daughter Dell,<br /> + And all the Birds received her well.<br /> + To do her honor a feast we made<br /> + For every bird that can swim or wade,—<br /> + Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,<br /> + Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,<br /> + Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,<br /> + Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:<br /> + Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!<br /> + They ate and drank and danced all night,<br /> + And echoing back from the rocks you heard<br /> + Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,—<br /> + <span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + Yes, they came; and among the rest<br /> + The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page351" id="page351" title="351"></a> + Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float<br /> + Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;<br /> + With pea-green trowsers all so neat,<br /> + And a delicate frill to hide his feet<br /> + (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows<br /> + He has got no webs between his toes).<br /> + </p> + <p> + As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,<br /> + In violent love that Crane King fell,—<br /> + On seeing her waddling form so fair,<br /> + With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.<br /> + And before the end of the next long day<br /> + Our Dell had given her heart away;<br /> + For the King of the Cranes had won that heart<br /> + With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.<br /> + She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,<br /> + Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;<br /> + And away they flew in a gathering crowd<br /> + Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.<br /> + <span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + And far away in the twilight sky<br /> + We heard them singing a lessening cry,—<br /> + Farther and farther, till out of sight,<br /> + And we stood alone in the silent night!<br /> + Often since, in the nights of June,<br /> + We sit on the sand and watch the moon,—<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page352" id="page352" title="352"></a> + She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,<br /> + And we probably never shall meet again!<br /> + Oft, in the long still nights of June,<br /> + We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,—<br /> + She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.<br /> + And we probably never shall see her more.<br /> + <span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + <img src="images/407.gif" alt="'Sheet Music: The Pelicans" id="pelicanmusic" /><br /> + 2004: also available as <a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a> + </p> + <p class="smaller"><b>NOTE.—</b>The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the + Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pomè, of San Remo, Italy. + <a class="pagenumber" name="page353" id="page353" title="353"></a></p> + </div> + + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="bo"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page354" id="page354" title="354"></a> + <img src="images/410.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" /> + <h3> + THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BÒ. + </h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">O</span>n the Coast of Coromandel<br /> + <span class="i4">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i6">In the middle of the woods</span> + <span class="i2">Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + Two old chairs, and half a candle,<br /> + One old jug without a handle,—<br /> + <span class="i4">These were all his worldly goods:</span> + <span class="i4">In the middle of the woods,</span> + <span class="i4">These were all the worldly goods</span> + <span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bò.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page355" id="page355" title="355"></a> + </p> + <p class="versenumber"> II.</p> + <p> + Once, among the Bong-trees walking<br /> + <span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i4">To a little heap of stones</span> + <span class="i2">Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + There he heard a Lady talking,<br /> + To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,—<br /> + <span class="i6">"'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!</span> + <span class="i6">On that little heap of stones</span> + <span class="i6">Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"</span> + <span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!<br /> + <span class="i2">Sitting where the pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i4">Will you come and be my wife?"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + "I am tired of living singly"—<br /> + On this coast so wild and shingly,—<br /> + <span class="i4">I'm a-weary of my life;</span> + <span class="i4">If you'll come and be my wife,</span> + <span class="i4">Quite serene would be my life!"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + "On this Coast of Coromandel<br /> + <span class="i2">Shrimps and watercresses grow,</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page356" id="page356" title="356"></a> + <span class="i4">Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + "You shall have my chairs and candle,<br /> + And my jug without a handle!<br /> + <span class="i4">Gaze upon the rolling deep</span> + <span class="i4">(Fish is plentiful and cheap);</span> + <span class="i4">As the sea, my love is deep!"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + Lady Jingly answered sadly,<br /> + <span class="i2">And her tears began to flow,—</span> + <span class="i4">"Your proposal comes too late,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + I would be your wife most gladly!"<br /> + (Here she twirled her fingers madly,)<br /> + <span class="i4">"But in England I've a mate!</span> + <span class="i4">Yes! you've asked me far too late,</span> + <span class="i4">For in England I've a mate,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VI.</p> + <p> + "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,—<br /> + <span class="i2">Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.)</span> + <span class="i4">Dorking fowls delights to send,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,<br /> + And your jug without a handle,—<br /> + <span class="i4">I can merely be your friend!</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page357" id="page357" title="357"></a> + <span class="i4">Should my Jones more Dorkings send,</span> + <span class="i4">I will give you three, my friend!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bò!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VII.</p> + <p> + "Though you've such a tiny body,<br /> + <span class="i2">And your head so large doth grow,—</span> + <span class="i4">Though your hat may blow away,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,<br /> + Yet I wish that I could modi-<br /> + <span class="i4">fy the words I needs must say!</span> + <span class="i4">Will you please to go away?</span> + <span class="i4">That is all I have to say,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber"><br /> + VIII.<br /> + </p> + <p> + Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,<br /> + <span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i4">To the calm and silent sea</span> + <span class="i2">Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,<br /> + Lay a large and lively Turtle.<br /> + <span class="i4">"You're the Cove," he said, "for me;</span> + <span class="i4">On your back beyond the sea,</span> + <span class="i4">Turtle, you shall carry me!"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page358" id="page358" title="358"></a> + <img src="images/411.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" /><br /> + <p class="versenumber">IX.</p> + <p> + Through the silent-roaring ocean<br /> + <span class="i2">Did the Turtle swiftly go;</span> + <span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell</span> + <span class="i2">Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + With a sad primaeval motion<br /> + Towards the sunset isles of Boshen<br /> + <span class="i4">Still the Turtle bore him well.</span> + <span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell,</span> + <span class="i4">"Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"</span> + <span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">X.</p> + <p> + From the Coast of Coromandel<br /> + <span class="i2">Did that Lady never go;</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page359" id="page359" title="359"></a> + <span class="i4">On that heap of stones she mourns</span> + <span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + On that Coast of Coromandel,<br /> + In his jug without a handle<br /> + <span class="i4">Still she weeps, and daily moans;</span> + <span class="i4">On that little heap of stones</span> + <span class="i4">To her Dorking Hens she moans,</span> + <span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page360" id="page360" title="360"></a> + </p> + <img src="images/409.gif" alt="Sheet Music: The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò" id="bomusic" /><br /> + Also available as <a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span> + </div> + <div class="longpoem" id="pobble"> + + <hr /> + + <img src="images/412.gif" alt="The Pobble who has no Toes" /> + <h3> + THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES. + </h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes<br /> + <span class="i2">Had once as many as we;</span> + When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"<br /> + <span class="i2">He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"</span> + And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink<br /> + Lavender water tinged with pink;<br /> + For she said, "The World in general knows<br /> + There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!" + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes,<br /> + <span class="i2">Swam across the Bristol Channel;</span> + But before he set out he wrapped his nose<br /> + <span class="i2">In a piece of scarlet flannel.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page361" id="page361" title="361"></a> + For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm<br /> + Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;<br /> + And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes<br /> + Are safe—provided he minds his nose." + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + The Pobble swam fast and well,<br /> + <span class="i2">And when boats or ships came near him,</span> + He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell<br /> + <span class="i2">So that all the world could hear him.</span> + And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,<br /> + When they saw him nearing the further side,—<br /> + "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's<br /> + Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!" + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + But before he touched the shore,—<br /> + <span class="i2">The shore of the Bristol Channel,</span> + A sea-green Porpoise carried away<br /> + <span class="i2">His wrapper of scarlet flannel.</span> + And when he came to observe his feet,<br /> + Formerly garnished with toes so neat,<br /> + His face at once became forlorn<br /> + On perceiving that all his toes were gone! + </p> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + And nobody ever knew,<br /> + <span class="i2">From that dark day to the present,</span> + Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,<br /> + <span class="i2">In a manner so far from pleasant.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page362" id="page362" title="362"></a> + Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,<br /> + Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,<br /> + Nobody knew; and nobody knows<br /> + How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VI.</p> + <p> + The Pobble who has no toes<br /> + <span class="i2">Was placed in a friendly Bark,</span> + And they rowed him back, and carried him up<br /> + <span class="i2">To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.</span> + And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,<br /> + Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;<br /> + And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,<br /> + That Pobbles are happier without their toes."<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page363" id="page363" title="363"></a> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="vestments"> + <h3> + THE NEW VESTMENTS. + </h3> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>here lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,<br /> + Who invented a purely original dress;<br /> + And when it was perfectly made and complete,<br /> + He opened the door and walked into the street. + </p> + <p> + By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,<br /> + In the middle of which he inserted his head;<br /> + His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,<br /> + The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;<br /> + His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;<br /> + His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;<br /> + His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;<br /> + His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;<br /> + His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,<br /> + And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;<br /> + And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,<br /> + A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together. + </p> + <p> + He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,<br /> + Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;<br /> + And from every long street and dark lane in the town<br /> + Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.<br /> + Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;<br /> + Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page364" id="page364" title="364"></a> + Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,<br /> + And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;<br /> + An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore <i>up</i> his<br /> + Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;<br /> + And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,<br /> + Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.<br /> + He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,<br /> + For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:<br /> + They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;<br /> + They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;<br /> + And now from the housetops with screechings descend<br /> + Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:<br /> + They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,<br /> + When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;<br /> + They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,<br /> + And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;<br /> + They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,—<br /> + Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all. + </p> + <p> + And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,<br /> + "I will not wear a similar dress any more,<br /> + Any more, any more, any more, never more!" + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="discobbolos"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page365" id="page365" title="365"></a> + <h3> + MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS. + </h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">M</span>r. and Mrs. Discobbolos + <span class="i4">Climbed to the top of a wall.</span> + <span class="i2">And they sate to watch the sunset sky,</span> + <span class="i2">And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,</span> + <span class="i4">And the Biscuit Buffalo call.</span> + They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,<br /> + And both were as happy as happy could be,<br /> + <span class="i8">Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,—</span> + <span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <span class="i8">It has just come into my head,</span> + <span class="i4">Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!</span> + <span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos!</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,<br /> + <span class="i4">Just like pieces of stone,</span> + <span class="i2">On to the thorns, or into the moat,</span> + <span class="i2">What would become of your new green coat?</span> + <span class="i4">And might you not break a bone?</span> + It never occurred to me before,<br /> + That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"<br /> + <span class="i8">And Mrs. Discobbolos said,</span> + <span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page366" id="page366" title="366"></a> + <span class="i8">What put it into your head</span> + <span class="i4">To climb up this wall, my own</span> + <span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber"> III.</p> + <p> + Mr. Discobbolos answered,<br /> + <span class="i4">"At first it gave me pain,</span> + <span class="i2">And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink</span> + <span class="i2">When your exclamation made me think</span> + <span class="i4">We might never get down again!</span> + But now I believe it is wiser far<br /> + To remain for ever just where we are."<br /> + <span class="i8">And Mr. Discobbolos said,</span> + <span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <span class="i8">It has just come into my head</span> + <span class="i4">We shall never go down again,</span> + <span class="i16">Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos<br /> + <span class="i4">Stood up and began to sing,—</span> + <span class="i2">"Far away from hurry and strife</span> + <span class="i2">Here we will pass the rest of life,</span> + <span class="i4">Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!</span> + We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,<br /> + No tables nor carpets nor household cares;<br /> + <span class="i8">From worry of life we've fled;</span> + <span class="i8">Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <span class="i8">There is no more trouble ahead,</span> + <span class="i4">Sorrow or any such thing,</span> + <span class="i16">For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page367" id="page367" title="367"></a> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="quangle"> + <img src="images/413.gif" alt="The Quangle Wangle's Hat" /> + <h3>THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.</h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">O</span>n the top of the Crumpetty Tree<br /> + <span class="i2">The Quangle Wangle sat,</span> + But his face you could not see,<br /> + <span class="i2">On account of his Beaver Hat.</span> + For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,<br /> + With ribbons and bibbons on every side,<br /> + And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,<br /> + So that nobody ever could see the face<br /> + <span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + The Quangle Wangle said<br /> + <span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page368" id="page368" title="368"></a> + "Jam, and jelly, and bread<br /> + <span class="i2">Are the best of food for me!</span> + But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree<br /> + The plainer than ever it seems to me<br /> + That very few people come this way<br /> + And that life on the whole is far from gay!"<br /> + <span class="i6">Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + But there came to the Crumpetty Tree<br /> + <span class="i2">Mr. and Mrs. Canary;</span> + And they said, "Did ever you see<br /> + <span class="i2">Any spot so charmingly airy?</span> + May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?<br /> + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br /> + O please let us come and build a nest<br /> + Of whatever material suits you best,<br /> + <span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree<br /> + <span class="i2">Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;</span> + The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,<br /> + <span class="i2">The Frog and the Fimble Fowl</span> + (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);<br /> + And all of them said, "We humbly beg<br /> + We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,—<br /> + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br /> + <span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span> + </p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page369" id="page369" title="369"></a> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + And the Golden Grouse came there,<br /> + <span class="i2">And the Pobble who has no toes,</span> + And the small Olympian bear,<br /> + <span class="i2">And the Dong with a luminous nose.</span> + And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,<br /> + And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,<br /> + And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,—<br /> + All came and built on the lovely Hat<br /> + <span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VI.</p> + <p> + And the Quangle Wangle said<br /> + <span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span> + "When all these creatures move<br /> + <span class="i2">What a wonderful noise there'll be!"</span> + And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon<br /> + They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,<br /> + On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,<br /> + And all were as happy as happy could be,<br /> + <span class="i6">With the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page370" id="page370" title="370"></a> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="cummerbund"> + <h3>THE CUMMERBUND.<br /><span class="chapterdescription">An Indian Poem.</span></h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">S</span>he sate upon her Dobie, + <span class="i2">To watch the Evening Star,</span> + And all the Punkahs, as they passed, + <span class="i2">Cried, "My! how fair you are!"</span> + Around her bower, with quivering leaves, + <span class="i2">The tall Kamsamahs grew,</span> + And Kitmutgars in wild festoons + <span class="i2">Hung down from Tchokis blue.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + Below her home the river rolled + <span class="i2">With soft meloobious sound,</span> + Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, + <span class="i2">In myriads circling round.</span> + Above, on tallest trees remote + <span class="i2">Green Ayahs perched alone,</span> + And all night long the Mussak moan'd + <span class="i2">Its melancholy tone.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + And where the purple Nullahs threw + <span class="i2">Their branches far and wide,</span> + </p> + <p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page371" id="page371" title="371"></a> + And silvery Goreewallahs flew + <span class="i2">In silence, side by side,</span> + The little Bheesties' twittering cry + <span class="i2">Rose on the flagrant air,</span> + And oft the angry Jampan howled + <span class="i2">Deep in his hateful lair.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + She sate upon her Dobie, + <span class="i2">She heard the Nimmak hum,</span> + When all at once a cry arose, + <span class="i2">"The Cummerbund is come!"</span> + In vain she fled: with open jaws + <span class="i2">The angry monster followed,</span> + And so (before assistance came) + <span class="i2">That Lady Fair was swollowed.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + They sought in vain for even a bone + <span class="i2">Respectfully to bury;</span> + They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!" + <span class="i2">(And Echo answered, "Very.")</span> + They nailed her Dobie to the wall, + <span class="i2">Where last her form was seen,</span> + And underneath they wrote these words, + <span class="i2">In yellow, blue, and green:</span> + </p> + <p> + "Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! + <span class="i2">Nor sit out late at night,</span> + Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, + <span class="i2">And swollow you outright."</span> + </p> + <p class="smaller"> + <b>NOTE.—</b>First published in <i>Times of India</i>, Bombay, July, 1874. + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="akond"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page372" id="page372" title="372"></a> + <h3>THE AKOND OF SWAT.</h3> + <table width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5"> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">W</span>ho, or why, or which, or <i>what</i>, + Is the Akond of SWAT?<br /> + Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?<br /> + Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or SQUAT?<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Is he wise or foolish, young or old?<br /> + Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or HOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,<br /> + And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or TROT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?<br /> + Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a COT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + When he writes a copy in round-hand size,<br /> + Does he cross his T's and finish his I's<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + with a DOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Can he write a letter concisely clear<br /> + Without a speck or a smudge or smear<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or BLOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Do his people like him extremely well?<br /> + Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or PLOT,<br /> + At the Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + If he catches them then, either old or young,<br /> + Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or <i>shot</i>,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Do his people prig in the lanes or park?<br /> + Or even at times, when days are dark,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center"> + <p> + GAROTTE?<br /> + O the Akond of Swat! + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he study the wants of his own dominion?<br /> + Or doesn't he care for public opinion<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + a JOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + To amuse his mind do his people show him<br /> + Pictures, or any one's last new poem,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or WHAT,<br /> + For the Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,<br /> + Do they bring him only a few small cakes,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a LOT,<br /> + For the Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?<br /> + Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a DOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he like to lie on his back in a boat<br /> + Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + SHALLOTT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?<br /> + Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a SCOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?<br /> + Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a GROTT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?<br /> + Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a POT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page374" id="page374" title="374"></a> + Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,<br /> + When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or ROT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,<br /> + And tie it neat in a bow with ends,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a KNOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?<br /> + When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or NOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?<br /> + Does he sail about on an inland lake,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + in a YACHT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Some one, or nobody, knows I wot<br /> + Who or which or why or what<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + Is the Akond of Swat!<br /> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p class="smaller"> + <b>NOTE.—</b>For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, <i>passim</i>. + The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the + monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus. + </p> + </div> </div> + <hr /> + + <div class="subbook" id="botany3"> + <h2>NONSENSE BOTANY.</h2> + <p class="subbookmenu"> + <a href="#botany3_1">Armchairia Comfortabilis</a> <a href="#botany3_2">Bassia Palealensis</a> <a href="#botany3_3">Bubblia Blowpipia</a> <a href="#botany3_4">Bluebottlia Buzztilentia</a> <a href="#botany3_5">Crabbia Horrida</a> <a href="#botany3_6">Smalltoothcombia Domestica</a> <a href="#botany3_7">Knutmigrata Simplice</a> <a href="#botany3_8">Tureenia Ladlecum</a> <a href="#botany3_9">Puffia Leatherbellowsa</a> <a href="#botany3_10">Queeriflora Babyöides</a> + </p> + <hr /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="20px" border="0" class="botanygrid"> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page375" id="page375" title="375"></a> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page376" id="page376" title="376"></a> + <img src="images/414.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Armchairia Comfortabilis." id="botany3_1" /><br /> + Armchairia Comfortabilis. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page377" id="page377" title="377"></a> + <img src="images/415.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bassia Palealensis." id="botany3_2" /><br /> + Bassia Palealensis. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page378" id="page378" title="378"></a> + <img src="images/416.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bubblia Blowpipia." id="botany3_3" /><br /> + Bubblia Blowpipia. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page379" id="page379" title="379"></a> + <img src="images/417.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bluebottlia Buzztilentia." id="botany3_4" /><br /> + Bluebottlia Buzztilentia. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page380" id="page380" title="380"></a> + <img src="images/418.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Crabbia Horrida." id="botany3_5" /><br /> + Crabbia Horrida. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page381" id="page381" title="381"></a> + <img src="images/419.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Smalltoothcombia Domestica." id="botany3_6" /><br /> + Smalltoothcombia Domestica. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page382" id="page382" title="382"></a> + <img src="images/420.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Knutmigrata Simplice." id="botany3_7" /><br /> + Knutmigrata Simplice. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page383" id="page383" title="383"></a> + <img src="images/421.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Tureenia Ladlecum." id="botany3_8" /><br /> + Tureenia Ladlecum. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page384" id="page384" title="384"></a> + <img src="images/422.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Puffia Leatherbellowsa." id="botany3_9" /><br /> + Puffia Leatherbellowsa. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page385" id="page385" title="385"></a> + <img src="images/423.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Queeriflora Babyöides." id="botany3_10" /><br /> + Queeriflora Babyöides. + <a class="pagenumber" name="page386" id="page386" title="386"></a> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="subbook" id="alphabets2"> + <h2>NONSENSE ALPHABETS.</h2> + <p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a> <a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a> + </p> + + + <div class="chapter" id="alphabet5"> + + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid"> + <tr> + <td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu"> + <hr /> + <a href="#a5">a</a> <a href="#b5">b</a> <a href="#c5">c</a> <a href="#d5">d</a> <a href="#e5">e</a> <a href="#f5">f</a> <a href="#g5">g</a> <a href="#h5">h</a> <a href="#i5">i</a> <a href="#j5">j</a> <a href="#k5">k</a> <a href="#l5">l</a> <a href="#m5">m</a> <a href="#n5">n</a> <a href="#o5">o</a> <a href="#p5">p</a> <a href="#q5">q</a> <a href="#r5">r</a> <a href="#s5">s</a> <a href="#t5">t</a> <a href="#u5">u</a> <a href="#v5">v</a> <a href="#w5">w</a> <a href="#x5">x</a> <a href="#y5">y</a> <a href="#z5">z</a> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="a5">A</p> + <img src="images/424.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">A</span> was an Area Arch<br /> + <span class="i2">Where washerwomen sat;</span> + They made a lot of lovely starch<br /> + <span class="i2">To starch Papa's Cravat.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page388" id="page388" title="388"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="b5">B</p> + <img src="images/425.gif" alt="bottle" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"><p> + <span class="largecap">B</span> was a Bottle blue,<br /> + <span class="i2">Which was not very small;</span> + Papa he filled it full of beer, + <span class="i2">And then he drank it all.</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="c5">C</p> + <img src="images/426.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="cat" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">C</span> was Papa's gray Cat,<br /> + <span class="i2">Who caught a squeaky Mouse;</span> + She pulled him by his twirly tail<br /> + <span class="i2">All about the house.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page390" id="page390" title="390"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="d5">D</p> + <img src="images/427.gif" alt="duck" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">D</span> was Papa's white Duck,<br /> + <span class="i2">Who had a curly tail;</span> + One day it ate a great fat frog,<br /> + <span class="i2">Besides a leetle snail.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page395" id="page395" title="395"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="e5">E</p> + <img src="images/428.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="egg" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">E</span> was a little Egg,<br /> + <span class="i2">Upon the breakfast table;</span> + Papa came in and ate it up<br /> + <span class="i2">As fast as he was able.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page392" id="page392" title="392"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="f5">F</p> + <img src="images/429.gif" alt="fish" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">F</span> was a little Fish.<br /> + <span class="i2">Cook in the river took it</span> + Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!<br /> + <span class="i2">And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page393" id="page393" title="393"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="g5">G</p> + <img src="images/430.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="gun" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">G</span> was Papa's new Gun;<br /> + <span class="i2">He put it in a box;</span> + And then he went and bought a bun,<br /> + <span class="i2">And walked about the Docks.</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="h5">H</p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page394" id="page394" title="394"></a> + <img src="images/431.gif" alt="hat" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">H</span> was Papa's new Hat;<br /> + <span class="i2">He wore it on his head;</span> + Outside it was completely black,<br /> + <span class="i2">But inside it was red.</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="i5">I</p> + <img src="images/432.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">I</span> was an Inkstand new,<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa he likes to use it;</span> + He keeps it in his pocket now,<br /> + <span class="i2">For fear that he should lose it.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page396" id="page396" title="396"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="j5">J</p> + <img src="images/433.gif" alt="jam" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">J</span> was some Apple Jam,<br /> + <span class="i2">Of which Papa ate part;</span> + But all the rest he took away<br /> + <span class="i2">And stuffed into a tart.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page397" id="page397" title="397"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="k5">K</p> + <img src="images/434.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">K</span> was a great new Kite;<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa he saw it fly</span> + Above a thousand chimney pots,<br /> + <span class="i2">And all about the sky.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page398" id="page398" title="398"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="l5">L</p> + <img src="images/435.gif" alt="lamp" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">L</span> was a fine new Lamp;<br /> + <span class="i2">But when the wick was lit,</span> + Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!<br /> + <span class="i2">I cannot read a bit!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page399" id="page399" title="399"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="m5">M</p> + <img src="images/436.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="mince" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">M</span> was a dish of mince;<br /> + <span class="i2">It looked so good to eat!</span> + Papa, he quickly ate it up,<br /> + <span class="i2">And said, "This is a treat!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page400" id="page400" title="400"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="n5">N</p> + <img src="images/437.gif" alt="nut" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">N</span> was a Nut that grew<br /> + <span class="i2">High up upon a tree;</span> + Papa, who could not reach it, said,<br /> + <span class="i2">"That's <i>much</i> too high for me!"</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="o5">O</p> + <img src="images/438.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="owl" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">O</span> was an Owl who flew<br /> + <span class="i2">All in the dark away,</span> + Papa said, "What an owl you are!<br /> + <span class="i2">Why don't you fly by day?"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page402" id="page402" title="402"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="p5">P</p> + <img src="images/439.gif" alt="pig" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">P</span> was a little Pig,<br /> + <span class="i2">Went out to take a walk;</span> + Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,<br /> + <span class="i2">He'd all turn into Pork!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page403" id="page403" title="403"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="q5">Q</p> + <img src="images/440.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="quince" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">Q</span> was a Quince that hung<br /> + <span class="i2">Upon a garden tree;</span> + Papa he brought it with him home,<br /> + <span class="i2">And ate it with his tea.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page404" id="page404" title="404"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="r5">R</p> + <img src="images/441.gif" alt="rug" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">R</span> was a Railway Rug<br /> + <span class="i2">Extremely large and warm;</span> + Papa he wrapped it round his head,<br /> + <span class="i2">In a most dreadful storm.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page405" id="page405" title="405"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="s5">S</p> + <img src="images/442.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="stick" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">S</span> was Papa's new Stick,<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa's new thumping Stick,</span> + To thump extremely wicked boys,<br /> + <span class="i2">Because it was so thick.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page406" id="page406" title="406"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="t5">T</p> + <img src="images/443.gif" alt="tumbler" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span> was a tumbler full<br /> + <span class="i2">Of Punch all hot and good;</span> + Papa he drank it up, when in<br /> + <span class="i2">The middle of a wood.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page407" id="page407" title="407"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="u5">U</p> + <img src="images/444.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="urn" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">U</span> was a silver urn,<br /> + <span class="i2">Full of hot scalding water;</span> + Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,<br /> + <span class="i2">I'd give it to my daughter!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page408" id="page408" title="408"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="v5">V</p> + <img src="images/445.gif" alt="villain" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">V</span> was a Villain; once<br /> + <span class="i2">He stole a piece of beef.</span> + Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!<br /> + <span class="i2">That Villain is a Thief!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page409" id="page409" title="409"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="w5">W</p> + <img src="images/446.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="watch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">W</span> was a Watch of Gold:<br /> + <span class="i2">It told the time of day,</span> + So that Papa knew when to come,<br /> + <span class="i2">And when to go away.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page410" id="page410" title="410"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="x5">X</p> + <img src="images/447.gif" alt="xerxes" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">X</span> was King Xerxes, whom<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa much wished to know;</span> + But this he could not do, because<br /> + <span class="i2">Xerxes died long ago.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page415" id="page415" title="415"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="y5">Y</p> + <img src="images/448.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="youth" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">Y</span> was a Youth, who kicked<br /> + <span class="i2">And screamed and cried like mad;</span> + Papa he said, "Your conduct is<br /> + <span class="i2">Abominably bad!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page412" id="page412" title="412"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="z5">Z</p> + <img src="images/449.gif" alt="zebra" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">Z</span> was a Zebra striped<br /> + <span class="i2">And streaked with lines of black;</span> + Papa said once, he thought he'd like<br /> + <span class="i2">A ride upon his back.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page413" id="page413" title="413"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + <div class="chapter" id="alphabet6"> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid"> + <tr> + <td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu"> + <hr /> + <a href="#a6">a</a> <a href="#b6">b</a> <a href="#c6">c</a> <a href="#d6">d</a> <a href="#e6">e</a> <a href="#f6">f</a> <a href="#g6">g</a> <a href="#h6">h</a> <a href="#i6">i</a> <a href="#j6">j</a> <a href="#k6">k</a> <a href="#l6">l</a> <a href="#m6">m</a> <a href="#n6">n</a> <a href="#o6">o</a> <a href="#p6">p</a> <a href="#q6">q</a> <a href="#r6">r</a> <a href="#s6">s</a> <a href="#t6">t</a> <a href="#u6">u</a> <a href="#v6">v</a> <a href="#w6">w</a> <a href="#x6">x</a> <a href="#y6">y</a> <a href="#z6">z</a> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="a6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/a.gif" alt="A" align="middle" />tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood, + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="b6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/b.gif" alt="B" align="middle" />said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="c6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/c.gif" alt="C" align="middle" />said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="d6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/d.gif" alt="D" align="middle" />said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="e6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/e.gif" alt="E" align="middle" />said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="f6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/f.gif" alt="F" align="middle" />said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="g6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/g.gif" alt="G" align="middle" />said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="h6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/h.gif" alt="H" align="middle" />said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="i6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/i.gif" alt="I" align="middle" />said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="j6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/j.gif" alt="J" align="middle" />said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="k6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/k.gif" alt="K" align="middle" />said, "A Kangaroo is here,—this picture let him see." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="l6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/l.gif" alt="L" align="middle" />said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="m6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/m.gif" alt="M" align="middle" />said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="n6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/n.gif" alt="N" align="middle" />said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="o6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/o.gif" alt="O" align="middle" />said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="p6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/p.gif" alt="P" align="middle" /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page414" id="page414" title="414"></a> + P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="q6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/q.gif" alt="Q" align="middle" />said, "A Quince I recommend,—a Quince, or else a Quail." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="r6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/r.gif" alt="R" align="middle" />said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="s6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/s.gif" alt="S" align="middle" />said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="t6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/t.gif" alt="T" align="middle" />said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="u6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/u.gif" alt="U" align="middle" />said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="v6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/v.gif" alt="V" align="middle" />said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="w6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/w.gif" alt="W" align="middle" />said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="x6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/x.gif" alt="X" align="middle" />said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="y6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/y.gif" alt="Y" align="middle" />said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="z6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/z.gif" alt="Z" align="middle" />said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!<br /> + <span class="i9">We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little master!</span> + <span class="i9">We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad disaster!"</span> + </p> + <br /> + <br /> + <br /> + <br /> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + </div> +</div> +<br /> +<hr class="pg" /> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 13649-h.txt or 13649-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649">https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/6/4/13649</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution.</p> + + + +<pre> +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +<a href="https://gutenberg.org/license">https://gutenberg.org/license)</a>. + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS,' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: +https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Each eBook is in a subdirectory of the same number as the eBook's +eBook number, often in several formats including plain vanilla ASCII, +compressed (zipped), HTML and others. + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks replace the old file and take over +the old filename and etext number. The replaced older file is renamed. +VERSIONS based on separate sources are treated as new eBooks receiving +new filenames and etext numbers. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">https://www.gutenberg.org</a> + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +EBooks posted prior to November 2003, with eBook numbers BELOW #10000, +are filed in directories based on their release date. If you want to +download any of these eBooks directly, rather than using the regular +search system you may utilize the following addresses and just +download by the etext year. + +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext06/">https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext06/</a> + + (Or /etext 05, 04, 03, 02, 01, 00, 99, + 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90) + +EBooks posted since November 2003, with etext numbers OVER #10000, are +filed in a different way. The year of a release date is no longer part +of the directory path. The path is based on the etext number (which is +identical to the filename). The path to the file is made up of single +digits corresponding to all but the last digit in the filename. For +example an eBook of filename 10234 would be found at: + +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/0/2/3/10234 + +or filename 24689 would be found at: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/6/8/24689 + +An alternative method of locating eBooks: +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL">https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL</a> + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** +</pre> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/13649-h/images/405.gif b/13649-h/images/405.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2294960 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/405.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/406.gif b/13649-h/images/406.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..261ba3b --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/406.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/407.gif b/13649-h/images/407.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..0c12360 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/407.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/408.gif b/13649-h/images/408.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c40b6a4 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/408.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/409.gif b/13649-h/images/409.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1b363a5 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/409.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/410.gif b/13649-h/images/410.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a437a0b --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/410.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/411.gif b/13649-h/images/411.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..94f47f2 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/411.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/412.gif b/13649-h/images/412.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..fe0bf24 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/412.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/413.gif b/13649-h/images/413.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7289b7c --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/413.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/414.gif b/13649-h/images/414.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..da4dc90 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/414.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/415.gif b/13649-h/images/415.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..48bc64e --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/415.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/416.gif b/13649-h/images/416.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2360c53 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/416.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/417.gif b/13649-h/images/417.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..81d95ae --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/417.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/418.gif b/13649-h/images/418.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7400867 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/418.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/419.gif b/13649-h/images/419.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..88c0428 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/419.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/420.gif b/13649-h/images/420.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..65ae987 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/420.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/421.gif b/13649-h/images/421.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8cd82f2 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/421.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/422.gif b/13649-h/images/422.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ae4cec5 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/422.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/423.gif b/13649-h/images/423.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..0a12ae1 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/423.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/424.gif b/13649-h/images/424.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2ed3225 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/424.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/425.gif b/13649-h/images/425.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e2a22ee --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/425.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/426.gif b/13649-h/images/426.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d319e9a --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/426.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/427.gif b/13649-h/images/427.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4d53790 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/427.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/428.gif b/13649-h/images/428.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5c545cc --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/428.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/429.gif b/13649-h/images/429.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b8513a1 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/429.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/430.gif b/13649-h/images/430.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..50e25b2 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/430.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/431.gif b/13649-h/images/431.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b39037b --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/431.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/432.gif b/13649-h/images/432.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1bac9ba --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/432.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/433.gif b/13649-h/images/433.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3be37f7 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/433.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/434.gif b/13649-h/images/434.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c1a75b3 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/434.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/435.gif b/13649-h/images/435.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7f3e020 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/435.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/436.gif b/13649-h/images/436.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..35fa80f --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/436.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/437.gif b/13649-h/images/437.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a1d58b5 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/437.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/438.gif b/13649-h/images/438.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3a74532 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/438.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/439.gif b/13649-h/images/439.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..cb09367 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/439.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/440.gif b/13649-h/images/440.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..81b91af --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/440.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/441.gif b/13649-h/images/441.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5a91435 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/441.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/442.gif b/13649-h/images/442.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..96c4676 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/442.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/443.gif b/13649-h/images/443.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..03b66be --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/443.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/444.gif b/13649-h/images/444.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b3f8a4a --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/444.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/445.gif b/13649-h/images/445.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..85b3357 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/445.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/446.gif b/13649-h/images/446.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b1367c9 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/446.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/447.gif b/13649-h/images/447.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..aad45a4 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/447.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/448.gif b/13649-h/images/448.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..747c69e --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/448.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/449.gif b/13649-h/images/449.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..77b5e89 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/449.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/450.gif b/13649-h/images/450.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..191dbd5 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/450.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/451.gif b/13649-h/images/451.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..54ac21f --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/451.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/a.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/a.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..38304b8 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/a.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/b.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/b.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..362099d --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/b.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/c.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/c.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9a0d05 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/c.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/d.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/d.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..23ac2e3 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/d.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/e.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/e.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..54c03b3 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/e.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/f.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/f.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8f8ce7e --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/f.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/g.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/g.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f342647 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/g.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/h.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/h.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a316663 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/h.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/i.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/i.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ed2f68e --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/i.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/j.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/j.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c63df59 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/j.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/k.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/k.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d132932 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/k.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/l.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/l.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c0fe77a --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/l.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/m.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/m.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..53a3e9b --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/m.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/n.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/n.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ae78e3f --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/n.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/o.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/o.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d1b0afe --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/o.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/p.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/p.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e1bd48 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/p.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/q.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/q.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..800b91b --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/q.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/r.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/r.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..80471c4 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/r.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/s.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/s.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..30b5d80 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/s.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/t.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/t.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8de27aa --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/t.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/u.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/u.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..107fddd --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/u.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/v.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/v.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8eddb0f --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/v.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/w.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/w.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3576abd --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/w.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/x.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/x.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..57fe324 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/x.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/y.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/y.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..00d1788 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/y.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/alphabet/z.gif b/13649-h/images/alphabet/z.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3bdd038 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/alphabet/z.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif b/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c9950cb --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif b/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e5988eb --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/bullet.gif b/13649-h/images/bullet.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3bdf191 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/bullet.gif diff --git a/13649-h/images/learstrip.gif b/13649-h/images/learstrip.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..38d3f84 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/images/learstrip.gif diff --git a/13649-h/music/pelican.ly b/13649-h/music/pelican.ly new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e0257fe --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/music/pelican.ly @@ -0,0 +1,126 @@ +%[**This page is marked up in lilypond notation.**] +%#(set-global-staff-size 10) +\paper { + papersize = "letter" +} +\version "2.2.0" +\header { +% dedication = "dedication" + title = "The Pelicans" +% subtitle = "subtitle" +% subsubtitle = "Subsubtitle" +% composer = "Composer (xxxx-yyyy)" +% opus = "Opus 0" +% piece = "Piece I" +% instrument = "Instrument" +% arranger = "Arranger" +% poet = "Poet" +% texttranslator = "Translator" +% copyright = "public domain" +% source = "urtext " + enteredby = "Stan Goodman" +% maintainerEmail = "your email here" +% texidoc = "The standard header that ought to be above a file." +} + +melody = \notes { \relative c'' { + \dynamicUp + \time 6/8 + \key e \major + b4\< gis8\! e'8.\> dis16 cis8\! | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | b4\< b8 b4 b8\! | b4\> b8 b4\! + r8 + | \break + b4\< gis8\! e'8.\> dis16 cis8\! | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | \grace { gis4 } b4 + fis8 + fis b cis | dis4 cis8 b4 r8 \bar"||" \break + b,4^\markup \italic "Coro--piu sostenuto." gis'8 gis fis gis | b, e fis gis4 b,8 | e4 gis8 gis4 b8 | b8 + a8 + gis8 fis4 r8 | \break + b,4 dis8 fis eis fis | b, fis' gis a4 gis8 | cis4 b8 a8 gis fis + | + gis4 fis8 e4 r8 \bar "||" +} } + +text = \lyrics { +King and Queen of the Peli -- cans we, No other birds so grand we +see! +None but we have _ feet like fins with love -- ly lea -- the -- ry +throats and chins, +Ploff -- skin, Pluff _ -- skin, Pe -- li -- can Jee! we think no +birds +so hap -- py as we! +Plump -- skin, Ploff _ -- skin, Pe -- li -- can Jill! We think to +then, and we thought so still! +} + +upper = \notes { \relative c'' { + \time 6/8 + \key e \major + << { b4 gis8 e'8. dis16 cis8 } \\ { e,4. e4. } >> | << { b'4 b8 + gis4 r8 | b4 b8 b4 b8 | b4 b8 b4 r8 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4 s8 | <b + fis'>4. <fis' a> | <e gis> <dis fis>4 s8 } >> | + << { b'4 gis8 e'8. dis16 cis8 | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | b4 fis8 fis b + cis | dis4 cis8 b4 r8 } \\ { e,4. e | e e4 s8 | dis4 dis8 dis4 e8 | << + { + fis4. ~ fis4 } \\ { fis4 e8 dis4 s8 } >> } >> \bar"||" + s4 gis8 gis fis gis | b, e fis gis4 << { s8 e4 fis8 } \\ { b,8 ~ + b4.} >> << { gis'4 b8 } \\ { e,4. } >> | <gis b>8 <fis a> <e + gis> + <dis fis>4 r8 | \break + b4 dis8 fis eis fis | b, fis' gis a4 gis8 | << { cis4 b8 a8 gis + fis + } \\ { e2. } >> | << { <e gis>4 <dis fis>8 e4 r8 } \\ { b4. b4 + s8 } + >> \bar "||" +} } + +lower = \notes { \relative c { + \time 6/8 + \key e \major + << { gis'4 e8 cis'8. b16 a8 | gis4. b4 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4. | e4. ~ + e4 + } >> r8 | <b b'>4 b'8 b4 b8 | b4 b8 b4 r8 | + << { gis4 e8 cis'8. b16 a8 | gis4. b4 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4. | e4. ~ + e4 } + >> r8 | << { b'4 fis8 fis4. ~ | fis4 ais8 b4 } \\ { <b, fis'> + fis8 + fis4. | fis'4. <b, fis'>4 } >> r8 \bar "||" + << { b'4 s4 s4 } \\ <e,, b' e>2. \\ <gis' b>2. >> | << <gis b>2. + \\ + <e, b' e>2. >> | << { gis'4. b4. | b4. ~ b4 } \\ { e,4. e4. | + b4. ~ + b4 } >> r8 | + << { b'2. | b4. ~ b4 } \\ { <b, dis a'>2. | <b dis a'>4. ~ <b + dis + a'>4 } >> e8 | a4 gis8 cis b a | << { b,4 a'8 gis4 } \\ { b, s8 + e4 } + >> r8 \bar "||" +} } + +\score { + << + \addlyrics + \context Staff = mel { + \set Staff.autoBeaming = ##f + \set Staff.instrument = "Canto. " + \unset Staff.melismaBusyProperties + \melody + } + \context Lyrics \text + + \context PianoStaff + \set Staff.instrument = "Piano. " + << + \context Staff = upper \upper + \context Staff = lower << + \clef bass + \lower + >> + >> + >> + \paper { + pagenumber=no + \context { \RemoveEmptyStaffContext } + } + \midi { \tempo 4=120 } +} diff --git a/13649-h/music/pelican.midi b/13649-h/music/pelican.midi Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2f0786d --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/music/pelican.midi diff --git a/13649-h/music/pelican.pdf b/13649-h/music/pelican.pdf Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9497a00 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/music/pelican.pdf diff --git a/13649-h/music/yonghy.ly b/13649-h/music/yonghy.ly new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8266e46 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/music/yonghy.ly @@ -0,0 +1,149 @@ +% From Edward Lear's "Complete Nonsense". +% Transcription to Lilypond for Project Gutenberg and Distributed Proofreaders. +% No copyrights apply. + + +\version "2.2.5" + +#(ly:set-point-and-click 'line-column) + +\header { + title = "The Yonghy Bonghy Bò." +} + + +verse= \lyrics { + On the coast of Co -- ro -- man -- del, + where the ear -- ly pump -- kins grow, + In the midd -- le of the woods + lived the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò. + Two old chairs and half a cand -- le, + One old jug with -- out a hand -- le, + These were all his world -- ly goods, + In the midd -- le of the woods, + These were all the world -- ly goods, + of the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò, + of the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò. +} + + +staffVoice = \new Staff \notes { + \time 2/4 + \set Staff.instrument="Canto." + \set Staff.midiInstrument="voice oohs" + \key e \major + \clef treble + \relative c' { + \context Voice = "melodyVoi" { + \autoBeamOff + \partial 16*2 + e16 fis gis8. fis16 gis8. a16 gis8 fis r8 dis16. e32 + fis8. fis16 e8 fis gis4 r8 gis 16 gis ais8 ais gis ais + b4 r8 b16. b32 cis8 gis ais fis b4 r8 b16. b32 + b8. ais16 b8. cis16 b8\( a\) r a16. a32 a8. gis16 a8. b16 + a8 gis r gis16. gis32 gis8 gis fis e fis4 r8 cis'16. cis32 + cis8 cis cis cis b4 b8. cis16 b8. a16 b8. a16 + gis4 r8 e16. fis32 gis8. a16 fis8. gis16 e4 b8. e16 + gis8. e16 gis8. fis16 e4 r + } + + \bar "|." + } + +} +staffPiano = \new PianoStaff { + \set PianoStaff.midiInstrument = #"acoustic grand" + \set PianoStaff.instrument = #"Piano " + << + \context Staff = RH { % Right hand + \clef treble + \notes { + \key e \major + \partial 16*2 + << { \relative c' { \slurBoth + e16 fis gis8. fis16 gis8. a16 + gis8 fis b8\rest dis,16. e32 fis8. fis16 e8 <dis fis> + <e gis>4 b'8\rest fis16 gis ais8 ais gis ais + <dis, b'>4 b'8\rest b16. b32 <gis cis>4 <e fis ais> + <dis fis b> b'8\rest b16. b32 <gis b>8. <fisis ais>16 <gis b>8. <ais cis>16 + <gis b>8( <fis a>) b8\rest a16. a32 <fis a>8. <eis gis!>16 <fis a>8. <gis b>16 + <fis a>8 <e gis> b'8\rest gis16. gis32 gis8( <b, e gis> <a b fis> <gis b e> + <fis b dis fis>4) b'8\rest cis16. cis32 cis8 cis cis cis + b4 b8. cis16 <gis b>8. <fis a>16 <gis b>8. <fis a>16 + <e gis>4 b'8\rest e,16. fis32 gis8. a16 fis8. gis16 + e4 b8. e16 gis8. e16 gis8. fis16 + e4 b'4\rest + } } \\ { \relative c' { + s8 e4 e + e8 dis s4 dis4 b8 b + b4 s4 r8 e4 e8 + s4. fis8 s2 + s2 s2 + s2 s2 + s2 s2 + s2 <e a>4 <e a> + <e gis> s dis dis + s2 e4 dis + cis s s b( + b) s + } } >> + } + } + \context Staff = LH { % Left hand + \clef bass + \notes { + \key e \major + \partial 16*2 + << { \relative c' { \slurBoth + gis16 a b8. a16 b8. cis16 + <b, b'>8 <b a'> d\rest fis16. gis32 a8. a16 gis8 fis + <e, b' e>4 d'\rest r8 cis'[ b cis] + b4 d,8\rest dis e[ cis fis fis,] + b[ fis b,] d'\rest b'4 b, + b'8[ b, b'] d,\rest b'4 b, + e8[ b e,] d'\rest s2 + s4 d\rest <a e' a> <a e' a> + <e e'> d'\rest <b b'> <b b'> + <e b'> d8\rest gis16. a32 <b, b'>4 <b a'> + <e gis> d\rest b'8. gis16 b8. a16 + gis4 d\rest + } } \\ { \relative c { \slurBoth + s8 e4 e + s2 b4 b8 b + s2 fis'4. fis8 + b4 s s2 + s s + s s + s b,( + <b, b'>4) s s2 + s s + s s + s b'4 b + e s + } } >> + } + } + >> +} + + + +\score { \notes + << + \staffVoice + \context Lyrics = lmelodyVoi \lyricsto "melodyVoi" \verse + \staffPiano + >> + + \midi { + \tempo 4 = 75 + } + + \paper { + pagenumber = no + \context { + \RemoveEmptyStaffContext + } + } + +} diff --git a/13649-h/music/yonghy.midi b/13649-h/music/yonghy.midi Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9f02c9 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/music/yonghy.midi diff --git a/13649-h/music/yonghy.pdf b/13649-h/music/yonghy.pdf Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..34a1adc --- /dev/null +++ b/13649-h/music/yonghy.pdf diff --git a/13649.txt b/13649.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b78d00e --- /dev/null +++ b/13649.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1686 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Laughable Lyrics + +Author: Edward Lear + +Release Date: October 8, 2004 [eBook #13649] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS*** + + +E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney, A. Deubelbeiss, Stan +Goodman, and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which + includes the original illustrations and music clips as well as + midi, pdf, and lilypond files. + See 13649-h.htm or 13649-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h/13649-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h.zip) + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS + +A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc. + +by + +EDWARD LEAR + +Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_, +_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc. + +With all the Original Illustrations + + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + +CONTENTS + + LAUGHABLE LYRICS + THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE + THE TWO OLD BACHELORS + THE PELICAN CHORUS + THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bo + THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES + THE NEW VESTMENTS + MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS + THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT + THE CUMMERBUND + THE AKOND OF SWAT + + NONSENSE BOTANY + + " ALPHABET, No. 5 + " " No. 6 + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS. + + +THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE. + +[Illustration] + + When awful darkness and silence reign + Over the great Gromboolian plain, + Through the long, long wintry nights; + When the angry breakers roar + As they beat on the rocky shore; + When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights + Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,-- + + Then, through the vast and gloomy dark + There moves what seems a fiery spark,-- + A lonely spark with silvery rays + Piercing the coal-black night,-- + A Meteor strange and bright: + Hither and thither the vision strays, + A single lurid light. + + Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,-- + Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps; + And ever as onward it gleaming goes + A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws. + And those who watch at that midnight hour + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as the wild light passes along,-- + "The Dong! the Dong! + The wandering Dong through the forest goes! + The Dong! the Dong! + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + Long years ago + The Dong was happy and gay, + Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl + Who came to those shores one day. + For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,-- + Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd + Where the Oblong Oysters grow, + And the rocks are smooth and gray. + And all the woods and the valleys rang + With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve._" + + Happily, happily passed those days! + While the cheerful Jumblies staid; + They danced in circlets all night long, + To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong, + In moonlight, shine, or shade. + For day and night he was always there + By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair, + With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair; + Till the morning came of that hateful day + When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away, + And the Dong was left on the cruel shore + Gazing, gazing for evermore,-- + Ever keeping his weary eyes on + That pea-green sail on the far horizon,-- + Singing the Jumbly Chorus still + As he sate all day on the grassy hill,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve_." + + But when the sun was low in the West, + The Dong arose and said,-- + "What little sense I once possessed + Has quite gone out of my head!" + And since that day he wanders still + By lake and forest, marsh and hill, + Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain, + Might I find my Jumbly Girl again! + For ever I'll seek by lake and shore + Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!" + + Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks, + Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks; + And because by night he could not see, + He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree + On the flowery plain that grows. + And he wove him a wondrous Nose,-- + A Nose as strange as a Nose could be! + + Of vast proportions and painted red, + And tied with cords to the back of his head. + In a hollow rounded space it ended + With a luminous Lamp within suspended, + All fenced about + With a bandage stout + To prevent the wind from blowing it out; + And with holes all round to send the light + In gleaming rays on the dismal night + + And now each night, and all night long, + Over those plains still roams the Dong; + And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe + You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe, + While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain, + To meet with his Jumbly Girl again; + Lonely and wild, all night he goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + And all who watch at the midnight hour, + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright, + Moving along through the dreary night,-- + "This is the hour when forth he goes, + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + Yonder, over the plain he goes,-- + He goes! + He goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + + + +THE TWO OLD BACHELORS. + +[Illustration] + +Two old Bachelors were living in one house; +One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse. +Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,-- +"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house, +Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey, +And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money? +And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner, +But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?" + +Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,-- +"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'! +If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well; +But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!" + +Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town +And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down; +They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found +In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round. + +But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north, +And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth; +And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,-- +An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page. +Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,-- +And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits! +Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),-- +When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps." + +Those two old Bachelors without loss of time +The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb; +And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook, +They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book. + +"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in! +We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!" + +But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book, +At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took; +And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,-- +At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town; +And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want + of Stuffin'), +The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin. + +They left their home in silence by the once convivial door; +And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more. + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans] + +[Illustration] + +THE PELICAN CHORUS. + + King and Queen of the Pelicans we; + No other Birds so grand we see! + None but we have feet like fins! + With lovely leathery throats and chins! + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still + + We live on the Nile. The Nile we love. + By night we sleep on the cliffs above; + By day we fish, and at eve we stand + On long bare islands of yellow sand. + And when the sun sinks slowly down, + And the great rock walls grow dark and brown, + + Where the purple river rolls fast and dim + And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim, + Wing to wing we dance around, + Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound, + Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought; + And this is the song we nightly snort,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Last year came out our Daughter Dell, + And all the Birds received her well. + To do her honor a feast we made + For every bird that can swim or wade,-- + Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black, + Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back, + Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds, + Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds: + Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight! + They ate and drank and danced all night, + And echoing back from the rocks you heard + Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Yes, they came; and among the rest + The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed. + Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float + Between the ends of his blue dress-coat; + With pea-green trowsers all so neat, + And a delicate frill to hide his feet + (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows + He has got no webs between his toes). + + As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell, + In violent love that Crane King fell,-- + On seeing her waddling form so fair, + With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair. + And before the end of the next long day + Our Dell had given her heart away; + For the King of the Cranes had won that heart + With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart. + She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes, + Leaving the Nile for stranger plains; + And away they flew in a gathering crowd + Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + And far away in the twilight sky + We heard them singing a lessening cry,-- + Farther and farther, till out of sight, + And we stood alone in the silent night! + Often since, in the nights of June, + We sit on the sand and watch the moon,-- + + She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain, + And we probably never shall meet again! + Oft, in the long still nights of June, + We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,-- + She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore. + And we probably never shall see her more. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bo] + +THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the Coast of Coromandel + Where the early pumpkins blow, + In the middle of the woods + Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + Two old chairs, and half a candle, + One old jug without a handle,-- + These were all his worldly goods: + In the middle of the woods, + These were all the worldly goods + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bo. + + + II. + + Once, among the Bong-trees walking + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To a little heap of stones + Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + There he heard a Lady talking, + To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,-- + "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones! + On that little heap of stones + Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + III. + + "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly! + Sitting where the pumpkins blow, + Will you come and be my wife?" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + "I am tired of living singly-- + On this coast so wild and shingly,-- + I'm a-weary of my life; + If you'll come and be my wife, + Quite serene would be my life!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + IV. + + "On this Coast of Coromandel + Shrimps and watercresses grow, + Prawns are plentiful and cheap," + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + "You shall have my chairs and candle, + And my jug without a handle! + Gaze upon the rolling deep + (Fish is plentiful and cheap); + As the sea, my love is deep!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + V. + + Lady Jingly answered sadly, + And her tears began to flow,-- + "Your proposal comes too late, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + I would be your wife most gladly!" + (Here she twirled her fingers madly,) + "But in England I've a mate! + Yes! you've asked me far too late, + For in England I've a mate, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + + + VI. + + "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,-- + Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.) + Dorking fowls delights to send, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle, + And your jug without a handle,-- + I can merely be your friend! + Should my Jones more Dorkings send, + I will give you three, my friend! + Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bo! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + + + VII. + + "Though you've such a tiny body, + And your head so large doth grow,-- + Though your hat may blow away, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy, + Yet I wish that I could modi- + fy the words I needs must say! + Will you please to go away? + That is all I have to say, + Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bo! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!" + + + VIII. + + Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle, + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To the calm and silent sea + Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle, + Lay a large and lively Turtle. + "You're the Cove," he said, "for me; + On your back beyond the sea, + Turtle, you shall carry me!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + [Illustration] + + + IX. + + Through the silent-roaring ocean + Did the Turtle swiftly go; + Holding fast upon his shell + Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + With a sad primaeval motion + Towards the sunset isles of Boshen + Still the Turtle bore him well. + Holding fast upon his shell, + "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!" + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + X. + + From the Coast of Coromandel + Did that Lady never go; + On that heap of stones she mourns + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + On that Coast of Coromandel, + In his jug without a handle + Still she weeps, and daily moans; + On that little heap of stones + To her Dorking Hens she moans, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + + +THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Had once as many as we; + When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;" + He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!" + And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink + Lavender water tinged with pink; + For she said, "The World in general knows + There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!" + + + II. + + The Pobble who has no toes, + Swam across the Bristol Channel; + But before he set out he wrapped his nose + In a piece of scarlet flannel. + For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm + Can come to his toes if his nose is warm; + And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes + Are safe--provided he minds his nose." + + + III. + + The Pobble swam fast and well, + And when boats or ships came near him, + He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell + So that all the world could hear him. + And all the Sailors and Admirals cried, + When they saw him nearing the further side,-- + "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's + Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!" + + + IV. + + But before he touched the shore,-- + The shore of the Bristol Channel, + A sea-green Porpoise carried away + His wrapper of scarlet flannel. + And when he came to observe his feet, + Formerly garnished with toes so neat, + His face at once became forlorn + On perceiving that all his toes were gone! + + + V. + + And nobody ever knew, + From that dark day to the present, + Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes, + In a manner so far from pleasant. + Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray, + Or crafty Mermaids stole them away, + Nobody knew; and nobody knows + How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! + + + VI. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Was placed in a friendly Bark, + And they rowed him back, and carried him up + To his Aunt Jobiska's Park. + And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish, + Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish; + And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows, + That Pobbles are happier without their toes." + + + + +THE NEW VESTMENTS. + + There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess, + Who invented a purely original dress; + And when it was perfectly made and complete, + He opened the door and walked into the street. + + By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread, + In the middle of which he inserted his head; + His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice, + The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice; + His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes; + His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose; + His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops; + His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops; + His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border, + And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order; + And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather, + A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together. + + He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise, + Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys; + And from every long street and dark lane in the town + Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down. + Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak; + Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke; + Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat, + And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat; + An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his + Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies; + And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops, + Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops. + He tried to run back to his house, but in vain, + For scores of fat Pigs came again and again: + They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors; + They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers; + And now from the housetops with screechings descend + Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end: + They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat, + When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that; + They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice, + And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice; + They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,-- + Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all. + + And he said to himself, as he bolted the door, + "I will not wear a similar dress any more, + Any more, any more, any more, never more!" + + + + +MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS. + + I. + + Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Climbed to the top of a wall. + And they sate to watch the sunset sky, + And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry, + And the Biscuit Buffalo call. + They took up a roll and some Camomile tea, + And both were as happy as happy could be, + Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,-- + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head, + Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!! + Darling Mr. Discobbolos! + + + II. + + "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty, + Just like pieces of stone, + On to the thorns, or into the moat, + What would become of your new green coat? + And might you not break a bone? + It never occurred to me before, + That perhaps we shall never go down any more!" + And Mrs. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + What put it into your head + To climb up this wall, my own + Darling Mr. Discobbolos?" + + + III. + + Mr. Discobbolos answered, + "At first it gave me pain, + And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink + When your exclamation made me think + We might never get down again! + But now I believe it is wiser far + To remain for ever just where we are." + And Mr. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head + We shall never go down again, + Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + IV. + + So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Stood up and began to sing,-- + "Far away from hurry and strife + Here we will pass the rest of life, + Ding a dong, ding dong, ding! + We want no knives nor forks nor chairs, + No tables nor carpets nor household cares; + From worry of life we've fled; + Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + There is no more trouble ahead, + Sorrow or any such thing, + For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + + +THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the top of the Crumpetty Tree + The Quangle Wangle sat, + But his face you could not see, + On account of his Beaver Hat. + For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide, + With ribbons and bibbons on every side, + And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace, + So that nobody ever could see the face + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + II. + + The Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "Jam, and jelly, and bread + Are the best of food for me! + But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree + The plainer than ever it seems to me + That very few people come this way + And that life on the whole is far from gay!" + Said the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + III. + + But there came to the Crumpetty Tree + Mr. and Mrs. Canary; + And they said, "Did ever you see + Any spot so charmingly airy? + May we build a nest on your lovely Hat? + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + O please let us come and build a nest + Of whatever material suits you best, + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + IV. + + And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree + Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl; + The Snail and the Bumble-Bee, + The Frog and the Fimble Fowl + (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg); + And all of them said, "We humbly beg + We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,-- + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + V. + + And the Golden Grouse came there, + And the Pobble who has no toes, + And the small Olympian bear, + And the Dong with a luminous nose. + And the Blue Baboon who played the flute, + And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute, + And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,-- + All came and built on the lovely Hat + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + VI. + + And the Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "When all these creatures move + What a wonderful noise there'll be!" + And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon + They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon, + On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree, + And all were as happy as happy could be, + With the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + + +THE CUMMERBUND. +An Indian Poem. + + I. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + To watch the Evening Star, +And all the Punkahs, as they passed, + Cried, "My! how fair you are!" +Around her bower, with quivering leaves, + The tall Kamsamahs grew, +And Kitmutgars in wild festoons + Hung down from Tchokis blue. + + + II. + +Below her home the river rolled + With soft meloobious sound, +Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, + In myriads circling round. +Above, on tallest trees remote + Green Ayahs perched alone, +And all night long the Mussak moan'd + Its melancholy tone. + + + III. + +And where the purple Nullahs threw + Their branches far and wide, +And silvery Goreewallahs flew + In silence, side by side, +The little Bheesties' twittering cry + Rose on the flagrant air, +And oft the angry Jampan howled + Deep in his hateful lair. + + + IV. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + She heard the Nimmak hum, +When all at once a cry arose, + "The Cummerbund is come!" +In vain she fled: with open jaws + The angry monster followed, +And so (before assistance came) + That Lady Fair was swollowed. + + + V. + +They sought in vain for even a bone + Respectfully to bury; +They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!" + (And Echo answered, "Very.") +They nailed her Dobie to the wall, + Where last her form was seen, +And underneath they wrote these words, + In yellow, blue, and green: +"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! + Nor sit out late at night, +Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, + And swollow you outright." + + +NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874. + + + + +THE AKOND OF SWAT. + + + Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT? + Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? + Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair, or SQUAT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he wise or foolish, young or old? + Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, + And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk, or TROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? + Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or a COT, + The Akond of Swat? + + When he writes a copy in round-hand size, + Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Can he write a letter concisely clear + Without a speck or a smudge or smear or BLOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people like him extremely well? + Or do they, whenever they can, rebel, or PLOT, + At the Akond of Swat? + + If he catches them then, either old or young, + Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung, or _shot_, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people prig in the lanes or park? + Or even at times, when days are dark, GAROTTE? + O the Akond of Swat! + + Does he study the wants of his own dominion? + Or doesn't he care for public opinion a JOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + To amuse his mind do his people show him + Pictures, or any one's last new poem, or WHAT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, + Do they bring him only a few small cakes, or a LOT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe? + Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe, or a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to lie on his back in a boat + Like the lady who lived in that isle remote, SHALLOTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he quiet, or always making a fuss? + Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ, or a SCOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave? + Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or a GROTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he drink small beer from a silver jug? + Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug? or a POT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, + When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe, or ROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, + And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies? + When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake? + Does he sail about on an inland lake, in a YACHT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Some one, or nobody, knows I wot + Who or which or why or what + Is the Akond of Swat! + + +NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_. +The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the +monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus. + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE BOTANY. + + +[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.] + +[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.] + +[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.] + +[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.] + +[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.] + +[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.] + +[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.] + +[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.] + +[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.] + +[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyoeides.] + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE ALPHABETS. + + + A + + [Illustration] + + A was an Area Arch + Where washerwomen sat; + They made a lot of lovely starch + To starch Papa's Cravat. + + + B + + [Illustration] + + B was a Bottle blue, + Which was not very small; + Papa he filled it full of beer, + And then he drank it all. + + + C + + [Illustration] + + C was Papa's gray Cat, + Who caught a squeaky Mouse; + She pulled him by his twirly tail + All about the house. + + + D + + [Illustration] + + D was Papa's white Duck, + Who had a curly tail; + One day it ate a great fat frog, + Besides a leetle snail. + + + E + + [Illustration] + + E was a little Egg, + Upon the breakfast table; + Papa came in and ate it up + As fast as he was able. + + + F + + [Illustration] + + F was a little Fish. + Cook in the river took it + Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish! + And, Cook! be quick and cook it!" + + + G + + [Illustration] + + G was Papa's new Gun; + He put it in a box; + And then he went and bought a bun, + And walked about the Docks. + + + H + + [Illustration] + + H was Papa's new Hat; + He wore it on his head; + Outside it was completely black, + But inside it was red. + + + I + + [Illustration] + + I was an Inkstand new, + Papa he likes to use it; + He keeps it in his pocket now, + For fear that he should lose it. + + + J + + [Illustration] + + J was some Apple Jam, + Of which Papa ate part; + But all the rest he took away + And stuffed into a tart. + + + K + + [Illustration] + + K was a great new Kite; + Papa he saw it fly + Above a thousand chimney pots, + And all about the sky. + + + L + + [Illustration] + + L was a fine new Lamp; + But when the wick was lit, + Papa he said, "This Light ain't good! + I cannot read a bit!" + + + M + + [Illustration] + + M was a dish of mince; + It looked so good to eat! + Papa, he quickly ate it up, + And said, "This is a treat!" + + + N + + [Illustration] + + N was a Nut that grew + High up upon a tree; + Papa, who could not reach it, said, + "That's _much_ too high for me!" + + + O + + [Illustration] + + O was an Owl who flew + All in the dark away, + Papa said, "What an owl you are! + Why don't you fly by day?" + + P + + [Illustration] + + P was a little Pig, + Went out to take a walk; + Papa he said, "If Piggy dead, + He'd all turn into Pork!" + + + Q + + [Illustration] + + Q was a Quince that hung + Upon a garden tree; + Papa he brought it with him home, + And ate it with his tea. + + + R + + [Illustration] + + R was a Railway Rug + Extremely large and warm; + Papa he wrapped it round his head, + In a most dreadful storm. + + + S + + [Illustration] + + S was Papa's new Stick, + Papa's new thumping Stick, + To thump extremely wicked boys, + Because it was so thick. + + + T + + [Illustration] + + T was a tumbler full + Of Punch all hot and good; + Papa he drank it up, when in + The middle of a wood. + + + U + + [Illustration] + + U was a silver urn, + Full of hot scalding water; + Papa said, "If that Urn were mine, + I'd give it to my daughter!" + + + V + + [Illustration] + + V was a Villain; once + He stole a piece of beef. + Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man! + That Villain is a Thief!" + + + W + + [Illustration] + + W was a Watch of Gold: + It told the time of day, + So that Papa knew when to come, + And when to go away. + + + X + + [Illustration] + + X was King Xerxes, whom + Papa much wished to know; + But this he could not do, because + Xerxes died long ago. + + + Y + + [Illustration] + + Y was a Youth, who kicked + And screamed and cried like mad; + Papa he said, "Your conduct is + Abominably bad!" + + + Z + + [Illustration] + + Z was a Zebra striped + And streaked with lines of black; + Papa said once, he thought he'd like + A ride upon his back. + + + + +ALPHABET, No. 6. + + A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood, + + B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!" + + C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm." + + D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm." + + E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well." + + F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell." + + G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold." + + H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold." + + I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon." + + J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!" + + K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see." + + L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea." + + M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction." + + N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction." + + O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink." + + P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think." + + Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail." + + R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail." + + S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!" + + T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!" + + U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!" + + V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!" + + W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!" + + X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!" + + Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!" + + Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master! + We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little + master! + We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad + disaster!" + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS*** + + +******* This file should be named 13649.txt or 13649.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: +https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + diff --git a/13649.zip b/13649.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9f74da4 --- /dev/null +++ b/13649.zip diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f5048eb --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #13649 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13649) diff --git a/old/13649-8.txt b/old/13649-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7cea67a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1686 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Laughable Lyrics + +Author: Edward Lear + +Release Date: October 8, 2004 [eBook #13649] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS*** + + +E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney, A. Deubelbeiss, Stan +Goodman, and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which + includes the original illustrations and music clips as well as + midi, pdf, and lilypond files. + See 13649-h.htm or 13649-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h/13649-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h.zip) + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS + +A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc. + +by + +EDWARD LEAR + +Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_, +_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc. + +With all the Original Illustrations + + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + +CONTENTS + + LAUGHABLE LYRICS + THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE + THE TWO OLD BACHELORS + THE PELICAN CHORUS + THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bò + THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES + THE NEW VESTMENTS + MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS + THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT + THE CUMMERBUND + THE AKOND OF SWAT + + NONSENSE BOTANY + + " ALPHABET, No. 5 + " " No. 6 + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS. + + +THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE. + +[Illustration] + + When awful darkness and silence reign + Over the great Gromboolian plain, + Through the long, long wintry nights; + When the angry breakers roar + As they beat on the rocky shore; + When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights + Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,-- + + Then, through the vast and gloomy dark + There moves what seems a fiery spark,-- + A lonely spark with silvery rays + Piercing the coal-black night,-- + A Meteor strange and bright: + Hither and thither the vision strays, + A single lurid light. + + Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,-- + Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps; + And ever as onward it gleaming goes + A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws. + And those who watch at that midnight hour + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as the wild light passes along,-- + "The Dong! the Dong! + The wandering Dong through the forest goes! + The Dong! the Dong! + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + Long years ago + The Dong was happy and gay, + Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl + Who came to those shores one day. + For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,-- + Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd + Where the Oblong Oysters grow, + And the rocks are smooth and gray. + And all the woods and the valleys rang + With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve._" + + Happily, happily passed those days! + While the cheerful Jumblies staid; + They danced in circlets all night long, + To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong, + In moonlight, shine, or shade. + For day and night he was always there + By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair, + With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair; + Till the morning came of that hateful day + When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away, + And the Dong was left on the cruel shore + Gazing, gazing for evermore,-- + Ever keeping his weary eyes on + That pea-green sail on the far horizon,-- + Singing the Jumbly Chorus still + As he sate all day on the grassy hill,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve_." + + But when the sun was low in the West, + The Dong arose and said,-- + "What little sense I once possessed + Has quite gone out of my head!" + And since that day he wanders still + By lake and forest, marsh and hill, + Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain, + Might I find my Jumbly Girl again! + For ever I'll seek by lake and shore + Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!" + + Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks, + Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks; + And because by night he could not see, + He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree + On the flowery plain that grows. + And he wove him a wondrous Nose,-- + A Nose as strange as a Nose could be! + + Of vast proportions and painted red, + And tied with cords to the back of his head. + In a hollow rounded space it ended + With a luminous Lamp within suspended, + All fenced about + With a bandage stout + To prevent the wind from blowing it out; + And with holes all round to send the light + In gleaming rays on the dismal night + + And now each night, and all night long, + Over those plains still roams the Dong; + And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe + You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe, + While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain, + To meet with his Jumbly Girl again; + Lonely and wild, all night he goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + And all who watch at the midnight hour, + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright, + Moving along through the dreary night,-- + "This is the hour when forth he goes, + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + Yonder, over the plain he goes,-- + He goes! + He goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + + + +THE TWO OLD BACHELORS. + +[Illustration] + +Two old Bachelors were living in one house; +One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse. +Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,-- +"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house, +Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey, +And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money? +And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner, +But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?" + +Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,-- +"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'! +If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well; +But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!" + +Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town +And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down; +They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found +In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round. + +But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north, +And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth; +And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,-- +An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page. +Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,-- +And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits! +Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),-- +When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps." + +Those two old Bachelors without loss of time +The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb; +And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook, +They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book. + +"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in! +We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!" + +But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book, +At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took; +And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,-- +At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town; +And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want + of Stuffin'), +The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin. + +They left their home in silence by the once convivial door; +And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more. + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans] + +[Illustration] + +THE PELICAN CHORUS. + + King and Queen of the Pelicans we; + No other Birds so grand we see! + None but we have feet like fins! + With lovely leathery throats and chins! + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still + + We live on the Nile. The Nile we love. + By night we sleep on the cliffs above; + By day we fish, and at eve we stand + On long bare islands of yellow sand. + And when the sun sinks slowly down, + And the great rock walls grow dark and brown, + + Where the purple river rolls fast and dim + And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim, + Wing to wing we dance around, + Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound, + Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought; + And this is the song we nightly snort,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Last year came out our Daughter Dell, + And all the Birds received her well. + To do her honor a feast we made + For every bird that can swim or wade,-- + Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black, + Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back, + Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds, + Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds: + Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight! + They ate and drank and danced all night, + And echoing back from the rocks you heard + Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Yes, they came; and among the rest + The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed. + Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float + Between the ends of his blue dress-coat; + With pea-green trowsers all so neat, + And a delicate frill to hide his feet + (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows + He has got no webs between his toes). + + As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell, + In violent love that Crane King fell,-- + On seeing her waddling form so fair, + With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair. + And before the end of the next long day + Our Dell had given her heart away; + For the King of the Cranes had won that heart + With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart. + She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes, + Leaving the Nile for stranger plains; + And away they flew in a gathering crowd + Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + And far away in the twilight sky + We heard them singing a lessening cry,-- + Farther and farther, till out of sight, + And we stood alone in the silent night! + Often since, in the nights of June, + We sit on the sand and watch the moon,-- + + She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain, + And we probably never shall meet again! + Oft, in the long still nights of June, + We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,-- + She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore. + And we probably never shall see her more. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bò] + +THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BÒ. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the Coast of Coromandel + Where the early pumpkins blow, + In the middle of the woods + Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + Two old chairs, and half a candle, + One old jug without a handle,-- + These were all his worldly goods: + In the middle of the woods, + These were all the worldly goods + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bò. + + + II. + + Once, among the Bong-trees walking + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To a little heap of stones + Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + There he heard a Lady talking, + To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,-- + "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones! + On that little heap of stones + Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + III. + + "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly! + Sitting where the pumpkins blow, + Will you come and be my wife?" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + "I am tired of living singly-- + On this coast so wild and shingly,-- + I'm a-weary of my life; + If you'll come and be my wife, + Quite serene would be my life!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + IV. + + "On this Coast of Coromandel + Shrimps and watercresses grow, + Prawns are plentiful and cheap," + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + "You shall have my chairs and candle, + And my jug without a handle! + Gaze upon the rolling deep + (Fish is plentiful and cheap); + As the sea, my love is deep!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + V. + + Lady Jingly answered sadly, + And her tears began to flow,-- + "Your proposal comes too late, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + I would be your wife most gladly!" + (Here she twirled her fingers madly,) + "But in England I've a mate! + Yes! you've asked me far too late, + For in England I've a mate, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + + + VI. + + "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,-- + Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.) + Dorking fowls delights to send, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle, + And your jug without a handle,-- + I can merely be your friend! + Should my Jones more Dorkings send, + I will give you three, my friend! + Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bò! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + + + VII. + + "Though you've such a tiny body, + And your head so large doth grow,-- + Though your hat may blow away, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò! + Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy, + Yet I wish that I could modi- + fy the words I needs must say! + Will you please to go away? + That is all I have to say, + Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bò! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!" + + + VIII. + + Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle, + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To the calm and silent sea + Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle, + Lay a large and lively Turtle. + "You're the Cove," he said, "for me; + On your back beyond the sea, + Turtle, you shall carry me!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + [Illustration] + + + IX. + + Through the silent-roaring ocean + Did the Turtle swiftly go; + Holding fast upon his shell + Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + With a sad primaeval motion + Towards the sunset isles of Boshen + Still the Turtle bore him well. + Holding fast upon his shell, + "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!" + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + X. + + From the Coast of Coromandel + Did that Lady never go; + On that heap of stones she mourns + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + On that Coast of Coromandel, + In his jug without a handle + Still she weeps, and daily moans; + On that little heap of stones + To her Dorking Hens she moans, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò. + + + + +THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Had once as many as we; + When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;" + He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!" + And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink + Lavender water tinged with pink; + For she said, "The World in general knows + There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!" + + + II. + + The Pobble who has no toes, + Swam across the Bristol Channel; + But before he set out he wrapped his nose + In a piece of scarlet flannel. + For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm + Can come to his toes if his nose is warm; + And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes + Are safe--provided he minds his nose." + + + III. + + The Pobble swam fast and well, + And when boats or ships came near him, + He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell + So that all the world could hear him. + And all the Sailors and Admirals cried, + When they saw him nearing the further side,-- + "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's + Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!" + + + IV. + + But before he touched the shore,-- + The shore of the Bristol Channel, + A sea-green Porpoise carried away + His wrapper of scarlet flannel. + And when he came to observe his feet, + Formerly garnished with toes so neat, + His face at once became forlorn + On perceiving that all his toes were gone! + + + V. + + And nobody ever knew, + From that dark day to the present, + Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes, + In a manner so far from pleasant. + Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray, + Or crafty Mermaids stole them away, + Nobody knew; and nobody knows + How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! + + + VI. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Was placed in a friendly Bark, + And they rowed him back, and carried him up + To his Aunt Jobiska's Park. + And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish, + Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish; + And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows, + That Pobbles are happier without their toes." + + + + +THE NEW VESTMENTS. + + There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess, + Who invented a purely original dress; + And when it was perfectly made and complete, + He opened the door and walked into the street. + + By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread, + In the middle of which he inserted his head; + His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice, + The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice; + His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes; + His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose; + His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops; + His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops; + His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border, + And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order; + And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather, + A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together. + + He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise, + Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys; + And from every long street and dark lane in the town + Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down. + Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak; + Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke; + Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat, + And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat; + An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his + Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies; + And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops, + Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops. + He tried to run back to his house, but in vain, + For scores of fat Pigs came again and again: + They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors; + They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers; + And now from the housetops with screechings descend + Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end: + They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat, + When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that; + They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice, + And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice; + They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,-- + Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all. + + And he said to himself, as he bolted the door, + "I will not wear a similar dress any more, + Any more, any more, any more, never more!" + + + + +MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS. + + I. + + Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Climbed to the top of a wall. + And they sate to watch the sunset sky, + And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry, + And the Biscuit Buffalo call. + They took up a roll and some Camomile tea, + And both were as happy as happy could be, + Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,-- + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head, + Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!! + Darling Mr. Discobbolos! + + + II. + + "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty, + Just like pieces of stone, + On to the thorns, or into the moat, + What would become of your new green coat? + And might you not break a bone? + It never occurred to me before, + That perhaps we shall never go down any more!" + And Mrs. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + What put it into your head + To climb up this wall, my own + Darling Mr. Discobbolos?" + + + III. + + Mr. Discobbolos answered, + "At first it gave me pain, + And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink + When your exclamation made me think + We might never get down again! + But now I believe it is wiser far + To remain for ever just where we are." + And Mr. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head + We shall never go down again, + Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + IV. + + So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Stood up and began to sing,-- + "Far away from hurry and strife + Here we will pass the rest of life, + Ding a dong, ding dong, ding! + We want no knives nor forks nor chairs, + No tables nor carpets nor household cares; + From worry of life we've fled; + Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + There is no more trouble ahead, + Sorrow or any such thing, + For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + + +THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the top of the Crumpetty Tree + The Quangle Wangle sat, + But his face you could not see, + On account of his Beaver Hat. + For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide, + With ribbons and bibbons on every side, + And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace, + So that nobody ever could see the face + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + II. + + The Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "Jam, and jelly, and bread + Are the best of food for me! + But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree + The plainer than ever it seems to me + That very few people come this way + And that life on the whole is far from gay!" + Said the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + III. + + But there came to the Crumpetty Tree + Mr. and Mrs. Canary; + And they said, "Did ever you see + Any spot so charmingly airy? + May we build a nest on your lovely Hat? + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + O please let us come and build a nest + Of whatever material suits you best, + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + IV. + + And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree + Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl; + The Snail and the Bumble-Bee, + The Frog and the Fimble Fowl + (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg); + And all of them said, "We humbly beg + We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,-- + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + V. + + And the Golden Grouse came there, + And the Pobble who has no toes, + And the small Olympian bear, + And the Dong with a luminous nose. + And the Blue Baboon who played the flute, + And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute, + And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,-- + All came and built on the lovely Hat + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + VI. + + And the Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "When all these creatures move + What a wonderful noise there'll be!" + And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon + They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon, + On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree, + And all were as happy as happy could be, + With the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + + +THE CUMMERBUND. +An Indian Poem. + + I. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + To watch the Evening Star, +And all the Punkahs, as they passed, + Cried, "My! how fair you are!" +Around her bower, with quivering leaves, + The tall Kamsamahs grew, +And Kitmutgars in wild festoons + Hung down from Tchokis blue. + + + II. + +Below her home the river rolled + With soft meloobious sound, +Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, + In myriads circling round. +Above, on tallest trees remote + Green Ayahs perched alone, +And all night long the Mussak moan'd + Its melancholy tone. + + + III. + +And where the purple Nullahs threw + Their branches far and wide, +And silvery Goreewallahs flew + In silence, side by side, +The little Bheesties' twittering cry + Rose on the flagrant air, +And oft the angry Jampan howled + Deep in his hateful lair. + + + IV. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + She heard the Nimmak hum, +When all at once a cry arose, + "The Cummerbund is come!" +In vain she fled: with open jaws + The angry monster followed, +And so (before assistance came) + That Lady Fair was swollowed. + + + V. + +They sought in vain for even a bone + Respectfully to bury; +They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!" + (And Echo answered, "Very.") +They nailed her Dobie to the wall, + Where last her form was seen, +And underneath they wrote these words, + In yellow, blue, and green: +"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! + Nor sit out late at night, +Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, + And swollow you outright." + + +NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874. + + + + +THE AKOND OF SWAT. + + + Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT? + Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? + Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair, or SQUAT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he wise or foolish, young or old? + Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, + And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk, or TROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? + Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or a COT, + The Akond of Swat? + + When he writes a copy in round-hand size, + Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Can he write a letter concisely clear + Without a speck or a smudge or smear or BLOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people like him extremely well? + Or do they, whenever they can, rebel, or PLOT, + At the Akond of Swat? + + If he catches them then, either old or young, + Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung, or _shot_, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people prig in the lanes or park? + Or even at times, when days are dark, GAROTTE? + O the Akond of Swat! + + Does he study the wants of his own dominion? + Or doesn't he care for public opinion a JOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + To amuse his mind do his people show him + Pictures, or any one's last new poem, or WHAT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, + Do they bring him only a few small cakes, or a LOT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe? + Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe, or a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to lie on his back in a boat + Like the lady who lived in that isle remote, SHALLOTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he quiet, or always making a fuss? + Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ, or a SCOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave? + Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or a GROTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he drink small beer from a silver jug? + Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug? or a POT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, + When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe, or ROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, + And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies? + When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake? + Does he sail about on an inland lake, in a YACHT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Some one, or nobody, knows I wot + Who or which or why or what + Is the Akond of Swat! + + +NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_. +The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the +monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus. + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE BOTANY. + + +[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.] + +[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.] + +[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.] + +[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.] + +[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.] + +[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.] + +[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.] + +[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.] + +[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.] + +[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyöides.] + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE ALPHABETS. + + + A + + [Illustration] + + A was an Area Arch + Where washerwomen sat; + They made a lot of lovely starch + To starch Papa's Cravat. + + + B + + [Illustration] + + B was a Bottle blue, + Which was not very small; + Papa he filled it full of beer, + And then he drank it all. + + + C + + [Illustration] + + C was Papa's gray Cat, + Who caught a squeaky Mouse; + She pulled him by his twirly tail + All about the house. + + + D + + [Illustration] + + D was Papa's white Duck, + Who had a curly tail; + One day it ate a great fat frog, + Besides a leetle snail. + + + E + + [Illustration] + + E was a little Egg, + Upon the breakfast table; + Papa came in and ate it up + As fast as he was able. + + + F + + [Illustration] + + F was a little Fish. + Cook in the river took it + Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish! + And, Cook! be quick and cook it!" + + + G + + [Illustration] + + G was Papa's new Gun; + He put it in a box; + And then he went and bought a bun, + And walked about the Docks. + + + H + + [Illustration] + + H was Papa's new Hat; + He wore it on his head; + Outside it was completely black, + But inside it was red. + + + I + + [Illustration] + + I was an Inkstand new, + Papa he likes to use it; + He keeps it in his pocket now, + For fear that he should lose it. + + + J + + [Illustration] + + J was some Apple Jam, + Of which Papa ate part; + But all the rest he took away + And stuffed into a tart. + + + K + + [Illustration] + + K was a great new Kite; + Papa he saw it fly + Above a thousand chimney pots, + And all about the sky. + + + L + + [Illustration] + + L was a fine new Lamp; + But when the wick was lit, + Papa he said, "This Light ain't good! + I cannot read a bit!" + + + M + + [Illustration] + + M was a dish of mince; + It looked so good to eat! + Papa, he quickly ate it up, + And said, "This is a treat!" + + + N + + [Illustration] + + N was a Nut that grew + High up upon a tree; + Papa, who could not reach it, said, + "That's _much_ too high for me!" + + + O + + [Illustration] + + O was an Owl who flew + All in the dark away, + Papa said, "What an owl you are! + Why don't you fly by day?" + + P + + [Illustration] + + P was a little Pig, + Went out to take a walk; + Papa he said, "If Piggy dead, + He'd all turn into Pork!" + + + Q + + [Illustration] + + Q was a Quince that hung + Upon a garden tree; + Papa he brought it with him home, + And ate it with his tea. + + + R + + [Illustration] + + R was a Railway Rug + Extremely large and warm; + Papa he wrapped it round his head, + In a most dreadful storm. + + + S + + [Illustration] + + S was Papa's new Stick, + Papa's new thumping Stick, + To thump extremely wicked boys, + Because it was so thick. + + + T + + [Illustration] + + T was a tumbler full + Of Punch all hot and good; + Papa he drank it up, when in + The middle of a wood. + + + U + + [Illustration] + + U was a silver urn, + Full of hot scalding water; + Papa said, "If that Urn were mine, + I'd give it to my daughter!" + + + V + + [Illustration] + + V was a Villain; once + He stole a piece of beef. + Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man! + That Villain is a Thief!" + + + W + + [Illustration] + + W was a Watch of Gold: + It told the time of day, + So that Papa knew when to come, + And when to go away. + + + X + + [Illustration] + + X was King Xerxes, whom + Papa much wished to know; + But this he could not do, because + Xerxes died long ago. + + + Y + + [Illustration] + + Y was a Youth, who kicked + And screamed and cried like mad; + Papa he said, "Your conduct is + Abominably bad!" + + + Z + + [Illustration] + + Z was a Zebra striped + And streaked with lines of black; + Papa said once, he thought he'd like + A ride upon his back. + + + + +ALPHABET, No. 6. + + A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood, + + B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!" + + C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm." + + D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm." + + E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well." + + F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell." + + G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold." + + H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold." + + I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon." + + J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!" + + K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see." + + L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea." + + M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction." + + N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction." + + O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink." + + P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think." + + Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail." + + R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail." + + S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!" + + T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!" + + U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!" + + V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!" + + W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!" + + X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!" + + Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!" + + Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master! + We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little + master! + We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad + disaster!" + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS*** + + +******* This file should be named 13649-8.txt or 13649-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: +https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + diff --git a/old/13649-8.zip b/old/13649-8.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1a23cff --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-8.zip diff --git a/old/13649-h.zip b/old/13649-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e185c5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h.zip diff --git a/old/13649-h/13649-h.htm b/old/13649-h/13649-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a9a1e3c --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/13649-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2565 @@ +<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=ISO-8859-1" /> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear</title> +<style type="text/css"> +/*<![CDATA[*/ +<!-- + body {font-family: Times, serif; margin-top:2px; margin-bottom:200px; margin-left: 3%; margin-right: 3%;} + p {margin-top: 2px;} + hr {color: #999999; border-style: solid} + ul {list-style-type: square;} + li {} + + h1 {text-align: center; margin-top:2px; margin-bottom:2px;} + h2 {text-align: center; margin-top:2px; margin-bottom:2px;} + h3 {text-align: center; margin-top:15px; margin-bottom:30px;} + h4 {text-align: center;} + +.book {} +.subbook {} +.chapter {} +.index {} + +.centeredimage {display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} +.smaller {font-size: 0.8em;} +.bigger {font-size: 1.3em;} +.largeletter {font-size: 5em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:0} +.smallletter {font-size: 2em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:0} +.alphaimage {display: block; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; margin-top:20px; margin-bottom: 20px;} +.largecap {font-size: 1.3em;} + +.chapternumber {text-align: center; margin-top: 50px; margin-bottom:5px; font-weight: bold;} +.chapterdescription {text-align: center; font-size:0.8em;} +.versenumber {font-weight: bold;} +.learstrip {background-image: url(images/learstrip.gif); height: 30px;} + +.rhymemenu {padding-top:10px; font-size: 0.8em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0.5em;border-top: solid 1px #333333;} +.subbookmenu {padding-top:10px; font-size: 0.9em; text-align: center; margin-bottom:0.5em; border-top: solid 1px #333333;} +.alphabetmenu {text-align: center;} + +.thecover {} +.tableofcontents {} +.note {font-size: 0.8em;} +.story {} +.rhyme {display: block; text-align: left; margin-bottom:20px; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;} +.longpoem {width: 60%; display: block; margin-left:auto; margin-right:auto; margin-bottom:20px; text-align:left;} + .longpoem h3 {text-align: left} +.recipe {margin-right: 10%; margin-left:10%;} + +.botanygrid {text-align: center;} +.rhymegrid {} +.rhymegrid img {margin-bottom:5px;} +.alphagrid {text-align: center;} + +.i1 {display: block; margin-left: 2%;} +.i2 {display: block; margin-left: 4%;} +.i3 {display: block; margin-left: 6%;} +.i4 {display: block; margin-left: 8%;} +.i5 {display: block; margin-left: 10%;} +.i6 {display: block; margin-left: 12%;} +.i7 {display: block; margin-left: 14%;} +.i8 {display: block; margin-left: 16%;} +.i9 {display: block; margin-left: 18%;} +.i10 {display: block; margin-left: 20%;} +.i11 {display: block; margin-left: 22%;} +.i12 {display: block; margin-left: 24%;} +.i13 {display: block; margin-left: 26%;} +.i14 {display: block; margin-left: 28%;} +.i15 {display: block; margin-left: 30%;} +.i16 {display: block; margin-left: 32%;} +.i17 {display: block; margin-left: 34%;} +.i18 {display: block; margin-left: 36%;} +.i19 {display: block; margin-left: 38%;} +.i20 {display: block; margin-left: 40%;} +.i21 {display: block; margin-left: 42%;} +.i22 {display: block; margin-left: 44%;} +.i23 {display: block; margin-left: 46%;} +.i24 {display: block; margin-left: 48%;} +.i25 {display: block; margin-left: 50%;} +.i26 {display: block; margin-left: 52%;} + hr.pg { width: 100%; + color: #000000; + border-style: solid; } + a:link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:visited {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:hover {color:red} + pre {font-size: 8pt;} + --> + /*]]>*/ +</style> +</head> +<body> +<h1>The Project Gutenberg eBook, Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear</h1> +<pre> +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href = "https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> +<p>Title: Laughable Lyrics</p> +<p>Author: Edward Lear</p> +<p>Release Date: October 8, 2004 [eBook #13649]</p> +<p>Language: English</p> +<p>Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1</p> +<p>***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS***</p> +<br /><br /><h3>E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney,<br /> + A. Deubelbeiss, Stan Goodman,<br /> + and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders</h3><br /><br /> +<div class="book" id="book4"> + <hr /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="learstrip"> + <tr> + <td height="30"> + + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <hr /> + <div class="thecover" id="cover4"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page338" id="page338" title="338"></a> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="10" border="0" width="100%"> + <tr> + <td align="center" width="50%"> + <h1><span class="bigger">Laughable Lyrics:</span><br /> + A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc. + </h1> + <h2>by<br /> + Edward Lear,</h2> + <blockquote class="smaller"><i>Author of the 'Book of Nonsense' 'More Nonsense' 'Nonsense + Songs, Stories,' etc., etc.</i> + <img src="images/411.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /> + </blockquote> + <p align="center">With all the Original Illustrations.</p> + + <h4>1894</h4> + <p align="center">Originally published 1877</p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page339" id="page339" title="339"></a> + </td> + <td align="left"> + <p class="smaller" align="center"><a href="images/bookcovers/book4.gif" target="_blank"><img src="images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif" alt="Laughable Lyrics" /></a><br /> + <b>Original Cover</b><br />Click for larger version. + </p> + <ul class="tableofcontents" id="book4contents"> + <li><a href="#laughable"><b>Laughable Lyrics.</b></a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#dong">The Dong With A Luminous Nose</a></li> + <li><a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a></li> + <li><a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#pelicanmusic">sheet music</a></li> + <li><a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li> + </ul> + </li> + <li><a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò</a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#bomusic">sheet music</a></li> + <li><a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a> / <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span></li> + </ul> + </li> + <li><a href="#pobble">The Pobble Who Has No Toes</a></li> + <li><a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a></li> + <li><a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a></li> + <li><a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a></li> + <li><a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a></li> + <li><a href="#akond">The Akond Of Swat</a></li> + </ul> + </li> + <li><a href="#botany3"><b>Nonsense Botany</b></a></li> + <li><a href="#alphabets2"><b>Nonsense Alphabets</b></a> + <ul> + <li><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a></li> + <li><a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a></li> + </ul> + </li> + </ul> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page340" id="page340" title="340"></a> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page341" id="page341" title="341"></a> + <hr /> + <div class="subbook" id="laughable"> + <h2>LAUGHABLE LYRICS.</h2> + <p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#dong">The Dong with a Luminous Nose</a> <a href="#bachelors">The Two Old Bachelors</a> <a href="#pelican">The Pelican Chorus</a> <a href="#bo">The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò</a> <a href="#pobble">The Pobble who has no Toes</a> <a href="#vestments">The New Vestments</a> <a href="#discobbolos">Mr. And Mrs. Discobbolos</a> <a href="#quangle">The Quangle Wangle's Hat</a> <a href="#cummerbund">The Cummerbund</a> <a href="#akond">The Akond of Swat</a> + </p> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="dong"> + <img src="images/405.gif" alt="The Dong with a Luminous Nose" /> + <h3>THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE.</h3> + <p> + <span class="largecap">W</span>hen awful darkness and silence reign<br /> + Over the great Gromboolian plain,<br /> + <span class="i2">Through the long, long wintry nights;</span> + When the angry breakers roar<br /> + As they beat on the rocky shore;<br /> + <span class="i2">When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights</span> + Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,— + </p> + <p> + Then, through the vast and gloomy dark<br /> + There moves what seems a fiery spark,—<br /> + <span class="i2">A lonely spark with silvery rays</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page342" id="page342" title="342"></a> + <span class="i4">Piercing the coal-black night,—</span> + <span class="i4">A Meteor strange and bright:</span> + <span class="i2">Hither and thither the vision strays,</span> + <span class="i4">A single lurid light.</span> + </p> + <p> + Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,—<br /> + Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps;<br /> + And ever as onward it gleaming goes<br /> + A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws.<br /> + And those who watch at that midnight hour<br /> + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br /> + Cry, as the wild light passes along,—<br /> + <span class="i4">"The Dong! the Dong!</span> + <span class="i2">The wandering Dong through the forest goes!</span> + <span class="i4">The Dong! the Dong!</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span> + </p> + <p> + <span class="i4">Long years ago</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong was happy and gay,</span> + Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl<br /> + <span class="i2">Who came to those shores one day.</span> + For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,—<br /> + Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd<br /> + <span class="i4">Where the Oblong Oysters grow,</span> + <span class="i2">And the rocks are smooth and gray.</span> + And all the woods and the valleys rang<br /> + With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,—<br /> + <i><span class="i6">"Far and few, far and few,</span> + <span class="i6">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span> + <span class="i6">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span> + <span class="i6">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i> + </p> + <p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page343" id="page343" title="343"></a> + Happily, happily passed those days!<br /> + <span class="i8">While the cheerful Jumblies staid;</span> + <span class="i4">They danced in circlets all night long,</span> + <span class="i4">To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong,</span> + <span class="i8">In moonlight, shine, or shade.</span> + For day and night he was always there<br /> + By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair,<br /> + With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair;<br /> + Till the morning came of that hateful day<br /> + When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away,<br /> + And the Dong was left on the cruel shore<br /> + Gazing, gazing for evermore,—<br /> + Ever keeping his weary eyes on<br /> + That pea-green sail on the far horizon,—<br /> + Singing the Jumbly Chorus still<br /> + As he sate all day on the grassy hill,—<br /> + <i><span class="i10">"Far and few, far and few,</span> + <span class="i10">Are the lands where the Jumblies live;</span> + <span class="i10">Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,</span> + <span class="i10">And they went to sea in a sieve."</span></i> + </p> + <p> + But when the sun was low in the West,<br /> + <span class="i4">The Dong arose and said,—</span> + —"What little sense I once possessed<br /> + <span class="i4">Has quite gone out of my head!"</span> + And since that day he wanders still<br /> + By lake and forest, marsh and hill,<br /> + Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain,<br /> + Might I find my Jumbly Girl again!<br /> + For ever I'll seek by lake and shore<br /> + Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!" + <a class="pagenumber" name="page344" id="page344" title="344"></a> + </p> + <p> + <span class="i2">Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks,</span> + <span class="i2">Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks;</span> + <span class="i2">And because by night he could not see,</span> + <span class="i2">He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree</span> + <span class="i4">On the flowery plain that grows.</span> + <span class="i4">And he wove him a wondrous Nose,—</span> + <span class="i2">A Nose as strange as a Nose could be!</span> + Of vast proportions and painted red,<br /> + And tied with cords to the back of his head.<br /> + <span class="i2">—In a hollow rounded space it ended</span> + <span class="i2">With a luminous Lamp within suspended,</span> + <span class="i4">All fenced about</span> + <span class="i4">With a bandage stout</span> + <span class="i4">To prevent the wind from blowing it out;</span> + <span class="i2">And with holes all round to send the light</span> + <span class="i2">In gleaming rays on the dismal night</span> + </p> + <p> + And now each night, and all night long,<br /> + Over those plains still roams the Dong;<br /> + And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe<br /> + You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe,<br /> + While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain,<br /> + To meet with his Jumbly Girl again;<br /> + Lonely and wild, all night he goes,—<br /> + The Dong with a luminous Nose!<br /> + And all who watch at the midnight hour,<br /> + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower,<br /> + Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright,<br /> + Moving along through the dreary night,—<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page345" id="page345" title="345"></a> + <span class="i2">"This is the hour when forth he goes,</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!</span> + <span class="i2">Yonder, over the plain he goes,—</span> + <span class="i4">He goes!</span> + <span class="i4">He goes,—</span> + <span class="i2">The Dong with a luminous Nose!"</span> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="bachelors"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page346" id="page346" title="346"></a> + <img src="images/406.gif" alt="The Two Old Bachelors." /> + <h3> + THE TWO OLD BACHELORS. + </h3> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>wo old Bachelors were living in one house;<br /> + One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse.<br /> + Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,—<br /> + "This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house,<br /> + Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey,<br /> + And what to do for dinner—since we haven't any money?<br /> + And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner,<br /> + But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?" + </p> + <p> + Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,—<br /> + "We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'!<br /> + If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well;<br /> + But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!" + </p> + <p> + Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town<br /> + And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down;<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page347" id="page347" title="347"></a> + They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found<br /> + In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round. + </p> + <p> + But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north,<br /> + And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth;<br /> + And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,—<br /> + An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page.<br /> + Climb up, and seize him by the toes,—all studious as he sits,—<br /> + And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits!<br /> + Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),—<br /> + When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good—perhaps." + </p> + <p> + Those two old Bachelors without loss of time<br /> + The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb;<br /> + And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook,<br /> + They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book. + </p> + <p> + "You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in!<br /> + We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!" + </p> + <p> + But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book,<br /> + At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took;<br /> + And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,—<br /> + At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town;<br /> + And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want of Stuffin'),<br /> + The Mouse had fled—and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin. + </p> + <p> + They left their home in silence by the once convivial door;<br /> + And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more. + <a class="pagenumber" name="page348" id="page348" title="348"></a> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="pelican"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page349" id="page349" title="349"></a> + <h3> + THE PELICAN CHORUS. + </h3> + <img src="images/408.gif" alt="The Pelican Chorus" /> + <p> + <span class="largecap">K</span>ing and Queen of the Pelicans we;<br /> + No other Birds so grand we see!<br /> + None but we have feet like fins!<br /> + With lovely leathery throats and chins!<br /> + <span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill!</span> + <span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still</span> + </p> + <p> + We live on the Nile. The Nile we love.<br /> + By night we sleep on the cliffs above;<br /> + By day we fish, and at eve we stand<br /> + On long bare islands of yellow sand.<br /> + And when the sun sinks slowly down,<br /> + And the great rock walls grow dark and brown,<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page350" id="page350" title="350"></a> + Where the purple river rolls fast and dim<br /> + And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim,<br /> + Wing to wing we dance around,<br /> + Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound,<br /> + Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought;<br /> + And this is the song we nightly snort,—<br /> + <span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + Last year came out our Daughter Dell,<br /> + And all the Birds received her well.<br /> + To do her honor a feast we made<br /> + For every bird that can swim or wade,—<br /> + Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black,<br /> + Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back,<br /> + Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds,<br /> + Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds:<br /> + Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight!<br /> + They ate and drank and danced all night,<br /> + And echoing back from the rocks you heard<br /> + Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,—<br /> + <span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + Yes, they came; and among the rest<br /> + The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed.<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page351" id="page351" title="351"></a> + Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float<br /> + Between the ends of his blue dress-coat;<br /> + With pea-green trowsers all so neat,<br /> + And a delicate frill to hide his feet<br /> + (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows<br /> + He has got no webs between his toes).<br /> + </p> + <p> + As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell,<br /> + In violent love that Crane King fell,—<br /> + On seeing her waddling form so fair,<br /> + With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair.<br /> + And before the end of the next long day<br /> + Our Dell had given her heart away;<br /> + For the King of the Cranes had won that heart<br /> + With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart.<br /> + She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes,<br /> + Leaving the Nile for stranger plains;<br /> + And away they flew in a gathering crowd<br /> + Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud.<br /> + <span class="i4">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i4">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i4">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i4">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + And far away in the twilight sky<br /> + We heard them singing a lessening cry,—<br /> + Farther and farther, till out of sight,<br /> + And we stood alone in the silent night!<br /> + Often since, in the nights of June,<br /> + We sit on the sand and watch the moon,—<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page352" id="page352" title="352"></a> + She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain,<br /> + And we probably never shall meet again!<br /> + Oft, in the long still nights of June,<br /> + We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,—<br /> + She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore.<br /> + And we probably never shall see her more.<br /> + <span class="i2">Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee!</span> + <span class="i2">We think no Birds so happy as we!</span> + <span class="i2">Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill!</span> + <span class="i2">We think so then, and we thought so still!</span> + </p> + <p> + <img src="images/407.gif" alt="'Sheet Music: The Pelicans" id="pelicanmusic" /><br /> + 2004: also available as <a href="music/pelican.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/pelican.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/pelican.ly">Lilypond markup</a> + </p> + <p class="smaller"><b>NOTE.—</b>The Air of this and the following Song by Edward Lear; the + Arrangement for the Piano by Professor Pomè, of San Remo, Italy. + <a class="pagenumber" name="page353" id="page353" title="353"></a></p> + </div> + + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="bo"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page354" id="page354" title="354"></a> + <img src="images/410.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" /> + <h3> + THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BÒ. + </h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">O</span>n the Coast of Coromandel<br /> + <span class="i4">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i6">In the middle of the woods</span> + <span class="i2">Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + Two old chairs, and half a candle,<br /> + One old jug without a handle,—<br /> + <span class="i4">These were all his worldly goods:</span> + <span class="i4">In the middle of the woods,</span> + <span class="i4">These were all the worldly goods</span> + <span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bò.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page355" id="page355" title="355"></a> + </p> + <p class="versenumber"> II.</p> + <p> + Once, among the Bong-trees walking<br /> + <span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i4">To a little heap of stones</span> + <span class="i2">Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + There he heard a Lady talking,<br /> + To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,—<br /> + <span class="i6">"'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones!</span> + <span class="i6">On that little heap of stones</span> + <span class="i6">Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!"</span> + <span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i4">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly!<br /> + <span class="i2">Sitting where the pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i4">Will you come and be my wife?"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + "I am tired of living singly"—<br /> + On this coast so wild and shingly,—<br /> + <span class="i4">I'm a-weary of my life;</span> + <span class="i4">If you'll come and be my wife,</span> + <span class="i4">Quite serene would be my life!"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + "On this Coast of Coromandel<br /> + <span class="i2">Shrimps and watercresses grow,</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page356" id="page356" title="356"></a> + <span class="i4">Prawns are plentiful and cheap,"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + "You shall have my chairs and candle,<br /> + And my jug without a handle!<br /> + <span class="i4">Gaze upon the rolling deep</span> + <span class="i4">(Fish is plentiful and cheap);</span> + <span class="i4">As the sea, my love is deep!"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + Lady Jingly answered sadly,<br /> + <span class="i2">And her tears began to flow,—</span> + <span class="i4">"Your proposal comes too late,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + I would be your wife most gladly!"<br /> + (Here she twirled her fingers madly,)<br /> + <span class="i4">"But in England I've a mate!</span> + <span class="i4">Yes! you've asked me far too late,</span> + <span class="i4">For in England I've a mate,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VI.</p> + <p> + "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,—<br /> + <span class="i2">Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.)</span> + <span class="i4">Dorking fowls delights to send,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle,<br /> + And your jug without a handle,—<br /> + <span class="i4">I can merely be your friend!</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page357" id="page357" title="357"></a> + <span class="i4">Should my Jones more Dorkings send,</span> + <span class="i4">I will give you three, my friend!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bò!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VII.</p> + <p> + "Though you've such a tiny body,<br /> + <span class="i2">And your head so large doth grow,—</span> + <span class="i4">Though your hat may blow away,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy,<br /> + Yet I wish that I could modi-<br /> + <span class="i4">fy the words I needs must say!</span> + <span class="i4">Will you please to go away?</span> + <span class="i4">That is all I have to say,</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bò!</span> + <span class="i2">Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò!"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber"><br /> + VIII.<br /> + </p> + <p> + Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle,<br /> + <span class="i2">Where the early pumpkins blow,</span> + <span class="i4">To the calm and silent sea</span> + <span class="i2">Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle,<br /> + Lay a large and lively Turtle.<br /> + <span class="i4">"You're the Cove," he said, "for me;</span> + <span class="i4">On your back beyond the sea,</span> + <span class="i4">Turtle, you shall carry me!"</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page358" id="page358" title="358"></a> + <img src="images/411.gif" alt="The Courtship of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo" /><br /> + <p class="versenumber">IX.</p> + <p> + Through the silent-roaring ocean<br /> + <span class="i2">Did the Turtle swiftly go;</span> + <span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell</span> + <span class="i2">Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + With a sad primaeval motion<br /> + Towards the sunset isles of Boshen<br /> + <span class="i4">Still the Turtle bore him well.</span> + <span class="i4">Holding fast upon his shell,</span> + <span class="i4">"Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!"</span> + <span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">X.</p> + <p> + From the Coast of Coromandel<br /> + <span class="i2">Did that Lady never go;</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page359" id="page359" title="359"></a> + <span class="i4">On that heap of stones she mourns</span> + <span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + On that Coast of Coromandel,<br /> + In his jug without a handle<br /> + <span class="i4">Still she weeps, and daily moans;</span> + <span class="i4">On that little heap of stones</span> + <span class="i4">To her Dorking Hens she moans,</span> + <span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò,</span> + <span class="i2">For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page360" id="page360" title="360"></a> + </p> + <img src="images/409.gif" alt="Sheet Music: The Yonghy-Bonghy-Bò" id="bomusic" /><br /> + Also available as <a href="music/yonghy.pdf">.pdf</a>, <a href="music/yonghy.midi">.midi</a>, or <a href="music/yonghy.ly">Lilypond markup</a>. <span class="smaller">(<i>added 2004</i>)</span> + </div> + <div class="longpoem" id="pobble"> + + <hr /> + + <img src="images/412.gif" alt="The Pobble who has no Toes" /> + <h3> + THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES. + </h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes<br /> + <span class="i2">Had once as many as we;</span> + When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;"<br /> + <span class="i2">He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!"</span> + And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink<br /> + Lavender water tinged with pink;<br /> + For she said, "The World in general knows<br /> + There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!" + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>he Pobble who has no toes,<br /> + <span class="i2">Swam across the Bristol Channel;</span> + But before he set out he wrapped his nose<br /> + <span class="i2">In a piece of scarlet flannel.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page361" id="page361" title="361"></a> + For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm<br /> + Can come to his toes if his nose is warm;<br /> + And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes<br /> + Are safe—provided he minds his nose." + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + The Pobble swam fast and well,<br /> + <span class="i2">And when boats or ships came near him,</span> + He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell<br /> + <span class="i2">So that all the world could hear him.</span> + And all the Sailors and Admirals cried,<br /> + When they saw him nearing the further side,—<br /> + "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's<br /> + Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!" + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + But before he touched the shore,—<br /> + <span class="i2">The shore of the Bristol Channel,</span> + A sea-green Porpoise carried away<br /> + <span class="i2">His wrapper of scarlet flannel.</span> + And when he came to observe his feet,<br /> + Formerly garnished with toes so neat,<br /> + His face at once became forlorn<br /> + On perceiving that all his toes were gone! + </p> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + And nobody ever knew,<br /> + <span class="i2">From that dark day to the present,</span> + Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes,<br /> + <span class="i2">In a manner so far from pleasant.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page362" id="page362" title="362"></a> + Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray,<br /> + Or crafty Mermaids stole them away,<br /> + Nobody knew; and nobody knows<br /> + How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VI.</p> + <p> + The Pobble who has no toes<br /> + <span class="i2">Was placed in a friendly Bark,</span> + And they rowed him back, and carried him up<br /> + <span class="i2">To his Aunt Jobiska's Park.</span> + And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish,<br /> + Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish;<br /> + And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows,<br /> + That Pobbles are happier without their toes."<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page363" id="page363" title="363"></a> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="vestments"> + <h3> + THE NEW VESTMENTS. + </h3> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span>here lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess,<br /> + Who invented a purely original dress;<br /> + And when it was perfectly made and complete,<br /> + He opened the door and walked into the street. + </p> + <p> + By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread,<br /> + In the middle of which he inserted his head;<br /> + His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice,<br /> + The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice;<br /> + His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes;<br /> + His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose;<br /> + His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops;<br /> + His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops;<br /> + His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border,<br /> + And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order;<br /> + And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather,<br /> + A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together. + </p> + <p> + He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise,<br /> + Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys;<br /> + And from every long street and dark lane in the town<br /> + Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down.<br /> + Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak;<br /> + Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke;<br /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page364" id="page364" title="364"></a> + Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat,<br /> + And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat;<br /> + An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore <i>up</i> his<br /> + Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies;<br /> + And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops,<br /> + Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops.<br /> + He tried to run back to his house, but in vain,<br /> + For scores of fat Pigs came again and again:<br /> + They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors;<br /> + They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers;<br /> + And now from the housetops with screechings descend<br /> + Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end:<br /> + They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat,<br /> + When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that;<br /> + They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice,<br /> + And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice;<br /> + They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,—<br /> + Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all. + </p> + <p> + And he said to himself, as he bolted the door,<br /> + "I will not wear a similar dress any more,<br /> + Any more, any more, any more, never more!" + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="discobbolos"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page365" id="page365" title="365"></a> + <h3> + MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS. + </h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">M</span>r. and Mrs. Discobbolos + <span class="i4">Climbed to the top of a wall.</span> + <span class="i2">And they sate to watch the sunset sky,</span> + <span class="i2">And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry,</span> + <span class="i4">And the Biscuit Buffalo call.</span> + They took up a roll and some Camomile tea,<br /> + And both were as happy as happy could be,<br /> + <span class="i8">Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,—</span> + <span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <span class="i8">It has just come into my head,</span> + <span class="i4">Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!!</span> + <span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos!</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty,<br /> + <span class="i4">Just like pieces of stone,</span> + <span class="i2">On to the thorns, or into the moat,</span> + <span class="i2">What would become of your new green coat?</span> + <span class="i4">And might you not break a bone?</span> + It never occurred to me before,<br /> + That perhaps we shall never go down any more!"<br /> + <span class="i8">And Mrs. Discobbolos said,</span> + <span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page366" id="page366" title="366"></a> + <span class="i8">What put it into your head</span> + <span class="i4">To climb up this wall, my own</span> + <span class="i16">Darling Mr. Discobbolos?"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber"> III.</p> + <p> + Mr. Discobbolos answered,<br /> + <span class="i4">"At first it gave me pain,</span> + <span class="i2">And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink</span> + <span class="i2">When your exclamation made me think</span> + <span class="i4">We might never get down again!</span> + But now I believe it is wiser far<br /> + To remain for ever just where we are."<br /> + <span class="i8">And Mr. Discobbolos said,</span> + <span class="i8">"Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <span class="i8">It has just come into my head</span> + <span class="i4">We shall never go down again,</span> + <span class="i16">Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos<br /> + <span class="i4">Stood up and began to sing,—</span> + <span class="i2">"Far away from hurry and strife</span> + <span class="i2">Here we will pass the rest of life,</span> + <span class="i4">Ding a dong, ding dong, ding!</span> + We want no knives nor forks nor chairs,<br /> + No tables nor carpets nor household cares;<br /> + <span class="i8">From worry of life we've fled;</span> + <span class="i8">Oh! W! X! Y! Z!</span> + <span class="i8">There is no more trouble ahead,</span> + <span class="i4">Sorrow or any such thing,</span> + <span class="i16">For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page367" id="page367" title="367"></a> + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="quangle"> + <img src="images/413.gif" alt="The Quangle Wangle's Hat" /> + <h3>THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT.</h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">O</span>n the top of the Crumpetty Tree<br /> + <span class="i2">The Quangle Wangle sat,</span> + But his face you could not see,<br /> + <span class="i2">On account of his Beaver Hat.</span> + For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide,<br /> + With ribbons and bibbons on every side,<br /> + And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace,<br /> + So that nobody ever could see the face<br /> + <span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + The Quangle Wangle said<br /> + <span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page368" id="page368" title="368"></a> + "Jam, and jelly, and bread<br /> + <span class="i2">Are the best of food for me!</span> + But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree<br /> + The plainer than ever it seems to me<br /> + That very few people come this way<br /> + And that life on the whole is far from gay!"<br /> + <span class="i6">Said the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + But there came to the Crumpetty Tree<br /> + <span class="i2">Mr. and Mrs. Canary;</span> + And they said, "Did ever you see<br /> + <span class="i2">Any spot so charmingly airy?</span> + May we build a nest on your lovely Hat?<br /> + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br /> + O please let us come and build a nest<br /> + Of whatever material suits you best,<br /> + <span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree<br /> + <span class="i2">Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl;</span> + The Snail and the Bumble-Bee,<br /> + <span class="i2">The Frog and the Fimble Fowl</span> + (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg);<br /> + And all of them said, "We humbly beg<br /> + We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,—<br /> + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that!<br /> + <span class="i6">Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!"</span> + </p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page369" id="page369" title="369"></a> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + And the Golden Grouse came there,<br /> + <span class="i2">And the Pobble who has no toes,</span> + And the small Olympian bear,<br /> + <span class="i2">And the Dong with a luminous nose.</span> + And the Blue Baboon who played the flute,<br /> + And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute,<br /> + And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,—<br /> + All came and built on the lovely Hat<br /> + <span class="i6">Of the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">VI.</p> + <p> + And the Quangle Wangle said<br /> + <span class="i2">To himself on the Crumpetty Tree,</span> + "When all these creatures move<br /> + <span class="i2">What a wonderful noise there'll be!"</span> + And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon<br /> + They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon,<br /> + On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree,<br /> + And all were as happy as happy could be,<br /> + <span class="i6">With the Quangle Wangle Quee.</span> + </p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page370" id="page370" title="370"></a> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="cummerbund"> + <h3>THE CUMMERBUND.<br /><span class="chapterdescription">An Indian Poem.</span></h3> + <p class="versenumber">I.</p> + <p> + <span class="largecap">S</span>he sate upon her Dobie, + <span class="i2">To watch the Evening Star,</span> + And all the Punkahs, as they passed, + <span class="i2">Cried, "My! how fair you are!"</span> + Around her bower, with quivering leaves, + <span class="i2">The tall Kamsamahs grew,</span> + And Kitmutgars in wild festoons + <span class="i2">Hung down from Tchokis blue.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">II.</p> + <p> + Below her home the river rolled + <span class="i2">With soft meloobious sound,</span> + Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, + <span class="i2">In myriads circling round.</span> + Above, on tallest trees remote + <span class="i2">Green Ayahs perched alone,</span> + And all night long the Mussak moan'd + <span class="i2">Its melancholy tone.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">III.</p> + <p> + And where the purple Nullahs threw + <span class="i2">Their branches far and wide,</span> + </p> + <p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page371" id="page371" title="371"></a> + And silvery Goreewallahs flew + <span class="i2">In silence, side by side,</span> + The little Bheesties' twittering cry + <span class="i2">Rose on the flagrant air,</span> + And oft the angry Jampan howled + <span class="i2">Deep in his hateful lair.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">IV.</p> + <p> + She sate upon her Dobie, + <span class="i2">She heard the Nimmak hum,</span> + When all at once a cry arose, + <span class="i2">"The Cummerbund is come!"</span> + In vain she fled: with open jaws + <span class="i2">The angry monster followed,</span> + And so (before assistance came) + <span class="i2">That Lady Fair was swollowed.</span> + </p> + <p class="versenumber">V.</p> + <p> + They sought in vain for even a bone + <span class="i2">Respectfully to bury;</span> + They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!" + <span class="i2">(And Echo answered, "Very.")</span> + They nailed her Dobie to the wall, + <span class="i2">Where last her form was seen,</span> + And underneath they wrote these words, + <span class="i2">In yellow, blue, and green:</span> + </p> + <p> + "Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! + <span class="i2">Nor sit out late at night,</span> + Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, + <span class="i2">And swollow you outright."</span> + </p> + <p class="smaller"> + <b>NOTE.—</b>First published in <i>Times of India</i>, Bombay, July, 1874. + </p> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="longpoem" id="akond"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page372" id="page372" title="372"></a> + <h3>THE AKOND OF SWAT.</h3> + <table width="100%" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="5"> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">W</span>ho, or why, or which, or <i>what</i>, + Is the Akond of SWAT?<br /> + Is he tall or short, or dark or fair?<br /> + Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or SQUAT?<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Is he wise or foolish, young or old?<br /> + Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" width="33%" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or HOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk,<br /> + And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or TROT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat?<br /> + Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a COT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + When he writes a copy in round-hand size,<br /> + Does he cross his T's and finish his I's<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + with a DOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Can he write a letter concisely clear<br /> + Without a speck or a smudge or smear<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or BLOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Do his people like him extremely well?<br /> + Or do they, whenever they can, rebel,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or PLOT,<br /> + At the Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + If he catches them then, either old or young,<br /> + Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or <i>shot</i>,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Do his people prig in the lanes or park?<br /> + Or even at times, when days are dark,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center"> + <p> + GAROTTE?<br /> + O the Akond of Swat! + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he study the wants of his own dominion?<br /> + Or doesn't he care for public opinion<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + a JOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + To amuse his mind do his people show him<br /> + Pictures, or any one's last new poem,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or WHAT,<br /> + For the Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + At night if he suddenly screams and wakes,<br /> + Do they bring him only a few small cakes,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a LOT,<br /> + For the Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe?<br /> + Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a DOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he like to lie on his back in a boat<br /> + Like the lady who lived in that isle remote,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + SHALLOTT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Is he quiet, or always making a fuss?<br /> + Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a SCOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave?<br /> + Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a GROTT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he drink small beer from a silver jug?<br /> + Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug?<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a POT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page374" id="page374" title="374"></a> + Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe,<br /> + When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or ROT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends,<br /> + And tie it neat in a bow with ends,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or a KNOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies?<br /> + When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + or NOT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake?<br /> + Does he sail about on an inland lake,<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + in a YACHT,<br /> + The Akond of Swat? + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left" valign="top"> + <p> + Some one, or nobody, knows I wot<br /> + Who or which or why or what<br /><br /> + </p> + </td> + <td align="center" valign="bottom"> + <p> + Is the Akond of Swat!<br /> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <p class="smaller"> + <b>NOTE.—</b>For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, <i>passim</i>. + The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the + monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus. + </p> + </div> </div> + <hr /> + + <div class="subbook" id="botany3"> + <h2>NONSENSE BOTANY.</h2> + <p class="subbookmenu"> + <a href="#botany3_1">Armchairia Comfortabilis</a> <a href="#botany3_2">Bassia Palealensis</a> <a href="#botany3_3">Bubblia Blowpipia</a> <a href="#botany3_4">Bluebottlia Buzztilentia</a> <a href="#botany3_5">Crabbia Horrida</a> <a href="#botany3_6">Smalltoothcombia Domestica</a> <a href="#botany3_7">Knutmigrata Simplice</a> <a href="#botany3_8">Tureenia Ladlecum</a> <a href="#botany3_9">Puffia Leatherbellowsa</a> <a href="#botany3_10">Queeriflora Babyöides</a> + </p> + <hr /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" cellpadding="20px" border="0" class="botanygrid"> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page375" id="page375" title="375"></a> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page376" id="page376" title="376"></a> + <img src="images/414.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Armchairia Comfortabilis." id="botany3_1" /><br /> + Armchairia Comfortabilis. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page377" id="page377" title="377"></a> + <img src="images/415.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bassia Palealensis." id="botany3_2" /><br /> + Bassia Palealensis. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page378" id="page378" title="378"></a> + <img src="images/416.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bubblia Blowpipia." id="botany3_3" /><br /> + Bubblia Blowpipia. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page379" id="page379" title="379"></a> + <img src="images/417.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Bluebottlia Buzztilentia." id="botany3_4" /><br /> + Bluebottlia Buzztilentia. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page380" id="page380" title="380"></a> + <img src="images/418.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Crabbia Horrida." id="botany3_5" /><br /> + Crabbia Horrida. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page381" id="page381" title="381"></a> + <img src="images/419.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Smalltoothcombia Domestica." id="botany3_6" /><br /> + Smalltoothcombia Domestica. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page382" id="page382" title="382"></a> + <img src="images/420.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Knutmigrata Simplice." id="botany3_7" /><br /> + Knutmigrata Simplice. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page383" id="page383" title="383"></a> + <img src="images/421.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Tureenia Ladlecum." id="botany3_8" /><br /> + Tureenia Ladlecum. + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page384" id="page384" title="384"></a> + <img src="images/422.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Puffia Leatherbellowsa." id="botany3_9" /><br /> + Puffia Leatherbellowsa. + </td> + <td valign="bottom" align="center" width="50%"> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page385" id="page385" title="385"></a> + <img src="images/423.gif" class="botanyimage" alt="Queeriflora Babyöides." id="botany3_10" /><br /> + Queeriflora Babyöides. + <a class="pagenumber" name="page386" id="page386" title="386"></a> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + <hr /> + <div class="subbook" id="alphabets2"> + <h2>NONSENSE ALPHABETS.</h2> + <p class="subbookmenu"><a href="#alphabet5">No. 5</a> <a href="#alphabet6">No. 6</a> + </p> + + + <div class="chapter" id="alphabet5"> + + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid"> + <tr> + <td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu"> + <hr /> + <a href="#a5">a</a> <a href="#b5">b</a> <a href="#c5">c</a> <a href="#d5">d</a> <a href="#e5">e</a> <a href="#f5">f</a> <a href="#g5">g</a> <a href="#h5">h</a> <a href="#i5">i</a> <a href="#j5">j</a> <a href="#k5">k</a> <a href="#l5">l</a> <a href="#m5">m</a> <a href="#n5">n</a> <a href="#o5">o</a> <a href="#p5">p</a> <a href="#q5">q</a> <a href="#r5">r</a> <a href="#s5">s</a> <a href="#t5">t</a> <a href="#u5">u</a> <a href="#v5">v</a> <a href="#w5">w</a> <a href="#x5">x</a> <a href="#y5">y</a> <a href="#z5">z</a> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="a5">A</p> + <img src="images/424.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">A</span> was an Area Arch<br /> + <span class="i2">Where washerwomen sat;</span> + They made a lot of lovely starch<br /> + <span class="i2">To starch Papa's Cravat.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page388" id="page388" title="388"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="b5">B</p> + <img src="images/425.gif" alt="bottle" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"><p> + <span class="largecap">B</span> was a Bottle blue,<br /> + <span class="i2">Which was not very small;</span> + Papa he filled it full of beer, + <span class="i2">And then he drank it all.</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="c5">C</p> + <img src="images/426.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="cat" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">C</span> was Papa's gray Cat,<br /> + <span class="i2">Who caught a squeaky Mouse;</span> + She pulled him by his twirly tail<br /> + <span class="i2">All about the house.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page390" id="page390" title="390"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="d5">D</p> + <img src="images/427.gif" alt="duck" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">D</span> was Papa's white Duck,<br /> + <span class="i2">Who had a curly tail;</span> + One day it ate a great fat frog,<br /> + <span class="i2">Besides a leetle snail.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page395" id="page395" title="395"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="e5">E</p> + <img src="images/428.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="egg" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">E</span> was a little Egg,<br /> + <span class="i2">Upon the breakfast table;</span> + Papa came in and ate it up<br /> + <span class="i2">As fast as he was able.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page392" id="page392" title="392"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="f5">F</p> + <img src="images/429.gif" alt="fish" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">F</span> was a little Fish.<br /> + <span class="i2">Cook in the river took it</span> + Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish!<br /> + <span class="i2">And, Cook! be quick and cook it!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page393" id="page393" title="393"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="g5">G</p> + <img src="images/430.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="gun" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">G</span> was Papa's new Gun;<br /> + <span class="i2">He put it in a box;</span> + And then he went and bought a bun,<br /> + <span class="i2">And walked about the Docks.</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="h5">H</p> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page394" id="page394" title="394"></a> + <img src="images/431.gif" alt="hat" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">H</span> was Papa's new Hat;<br /> + <span class="i2">He wore it on his head;</span> + Outside it was completely black,<br /> + <span class="i2">But inside it was red.</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="i5">I</p> + <img src="images/432.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">I</span> was an Inkstand new,<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa he likes to use it;</span> + He keeps it in his pocket now,<br /> + <span class="i2">For fear that he should lose it.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page396" id="page396" title="396"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="j5">J</p> + <img src="images/433.gif" alt="jam" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">J</span> was some Apple Jam,<br /> + <span class="i2">Of which Papa ate part;</span> + But all the rest he took away<br /> + <span class="i2">And stuffed into a tart.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page397" id="page397" title="397"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="k5">K</p> + <img src="images/434.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="arch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">K</span> was a great new Kite;<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa he saw it fly</span> + Above a thousand chimney pots,<br /> + <span class="i2">And all about the sky.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page398" id="page398" title="398"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="l5">L</p> + <img src="images/435.gif" alt="lamp" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">L</span> was a fine new Lamp;<br /> + <span class="i2">But when the wick was lit,</span> + Papa he said, "This Light ain't good!<br /> + <span class="i2">I cannot read a bit!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page399" id="page399" title="399"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="m5">M</p> + <img src="images/436.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="mince" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">M</span> was a dish of mince;<br /> + <span class="i2">It looked so good to eat!</span> + Papa, he quickly ate it up,<br /> + <span class="i2">And said, "This is a treat!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page400" id="page400" title="400"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="n5">N</p> + <img src="images/437.gif" alt="nut" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">N</span> was a Nut that grew<br /> + <span class="i2">High up upon a tree;</span> + Papa, who could not reach it, said,<br /> + <span class="i2">"That's <i>much</i> too high for me!"</span> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="o5">O</p> + <img src="images/438.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="owl" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">O</span> was an Owl who flew<br /> + <span class="i2">All in the dark away,</span> + Papa said, "What an owl you are!<br /> + <span class="i2">Why don't you fly by day?"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page402" id="page402" title="402"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="p5">P</p> + <img src="images/439.gif" alt="pig" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">P</span> was a little Pig,<br /> + <span class="i2">Went out to take a walk;</span> + Papa he said, "If Piggy dead,<br /> + <span class="i2">He'd all turn into Pork!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page403" id="page403" title="403"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="q5">Q</p> + <img src="images/440.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="quince" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">Q</span> was a Quince that hung<br /> + <span class="i2">Upon a garden tree;</span> + Papa he brought it with him home,<br /> + <span class="i2">And ate it with his tea.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page404" id="page404" title="404"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="r5">R</p> + <img src="images/441.gif" alt="rug" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">R</span> was a Railway Rug<br /> + <span class="i2">Extremely large and warm;</span> + Papa he wrapped it round his head,<br /> + <span class="i2">In a most dreadful storm.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page405" id="page405" title="405"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="s5">S</p> + <img src="images/442.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="stick" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">S</span> was Papa's new Stick,<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa's new thumping Stick,</span> + To thump extremely wicked boys,<br /> + <span class="i2">Because it was so thick.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page406" id="page406" title="406"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="t5">T</p> + <img src="images/443.gif" alt="tumbler" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">T</span> was a tumbler full<br /> + <span class="i2">Of Punch all hot and good;</span> + Papa he drank it up, when in<br /> + <span class="i2">The middle of a wood.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page407" id="page407" title="407"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="u5">U</p> + <img src="images/444.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="urn" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">U</span> was a silver urn,<br /> + <span class="i2">Full of hot scalding water;</span> + Papa said, "If that Urn were mine,<br /> + <span class="i2">I'd give it to my daughter!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page408" id="page408" title="408"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="v5">V</p> + <img src="images/445.gif" alt="villain" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">V</span> was a Villain; once<br /> + <span class="i2">He stole a piece of beef.</span> + Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man!<br /> + <span class="i2">That Villain is a Thief!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page409" id="page409" title="409"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="w5">W</p> + <img src="images/446.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="watch" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">W</span> was a Watch of Gold:<br /> + <span class="i2">It told the time of day,</span> + So that Papa knew when to come,<br /> + <span class="i2">And when to go away.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page410" id="page410" title="410"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="x5">X</p> + <img src="images/447.gif" alt="xerxes" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">X</span> was King Xerxes, whom<br /> + <span class="i2">Papa much wished to know;</span> + But this he could not do, because<br /> + <span class="i2">Xerxes died long ago.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page415" id="page415" title="415"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td colspan="2"> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="y5">Y</p> + <img src="images/448.gif" class="alphaimage" alt="youth" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">Y</span> was a Youth, who kicked<br /> + <span class="i2">And screamed and cried like mad;</span> + Papa he said, "Your conduct is<br /> + <span class="i2">Abominably bad!"</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page412" id="page412" title="412"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + <td width="50%" valign="bottom" align="center"> + <p class="largeletter" id="z5">Z</p> + <img src="images/449.gif" alt="zebra" class="alphaimage" /> + <table summary="Nonsense Books"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p> + <span class="largecap">Z</span> was a Zebra striped<br /> + <span class="i2">And streaked with lines of black;</span> + Papa said once, he thought he'd like<br /> + <span class="i2">A ride upon his back.</span> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page413" id="page413" title="413"></a> + </p> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + <div class="chapter" id="alphabet6"> + <table summary="Nonsense Books" width="100%" border="0" cellpadding="5" cellspacing="0" class="alphagrid"> + <tr> + <td colspan="2" class="alphabetmenu"> + <hr /> + <a href="#a6">a</a> <a href="#b6">b</a> <a href="#c6">c</a> <a href="#d6">d</a> <a href="#e6">e</a> <a href="#f6">f</a> <a href="#g6">g</a> <a href="#h6">h</a> <a href="#i6">i</a> <a href="#j6">j</a> <a href="#k6">k</a> <a href="#l6">l</a> <a href="#m6">m</a> <a href="#n6">n</a> <a href="#o6">o</a> <a href="#p6">p</a> <a href="#q6">q</a> <a href="#r6">r</a> <a href="#s6">s</a> <a href="#t6">t</a> <a href="#u6">u</a> <a href="#v6">v</a> <a href="#w6">w</a> <a href="#x6">x</a> <a href="#y6">y</a> <a href="#z6">z</a> + <hr /> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="a6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/a.gif" alt="A" align="middle" />tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood, + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="b6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/b.gif" alt="B" align="middle" />said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="c6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/c.gif" alt="C" align="middle" />said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="d6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/d.gif" alt="D" align="middle" />said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="e6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/e.gif" alt="E" align="middle" />said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="f6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/f.gif" alt="F" align="middle" />said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="g6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/g.gif" alt="G" align="middle" />said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="h6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/h.gif" alt="H" align="middle" />said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="i6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/i.gif" alt="I" align="middle" />said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="j6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/j.gif" alt="J" align="middle" />said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="k6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/k.gif" alt="K" align="middle" />said, "A Kangaroo is here,—this picture let him see." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="l6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/l.gif" alt="L" align="middle" />said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="m6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/m.gif" alt="M" align="middle" />said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="n6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/n.gif" alt="N" align="middle" />said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="o6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/o.gif" alt="O" align="middle" />said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="p6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/p.gif" alt="P" align="middle" /> + <a class="pagenumber" name="page414" id="page414" title="414"></a> + P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="q6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/q.gif" alt="Q" align="middle" />said, "A Quince I recommend,—a Quince, or else a Quail." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="r6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/r.gif" alt="R" align="middle" />said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail." + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="s6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/s.gif" alt="S" align="middle" />said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="t6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/t.gif" alt="T" align="middle" />said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="u6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/u.gif" alt="U" align="middle" />said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="v6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/v.gif" alt="V" align="middle" />said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="w6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/w.gif" alt="W" align="middle" />said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="x6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/x.gif" alt="X" align="middle" />said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="y6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/y.gif" alt="Y" align="middle" />said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!" + </p> + </td> + </tr> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <p id="z6"> + <img src="images/alphabet/z.gif" alt="Z" align="middle" />said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master!<br /> + <span class="i9">We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little master!</span> + <span class="i9">We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad disaster!"</span> + </p> + <br /> + <br /> + <br /> + <br /> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + </div> + </div> +</div> +<br /> +<hr class="pg" /> +<p>***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS***</p> +<p>******* This file should be named 13649-h.txt or 13649-h.zip *******</p> +<p>This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649">https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/6/4/13649</a></p> +<p>Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed.</p> + +<p>Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution.</p> + + + +<pre> +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +<a href="https://gutenberg.org/license">https://gutenberg.org/license)</a>. + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS,' WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: +https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Each eBook is in a subdirectory of the same number as the eBook's +eBook number, often in several formats including plain vanilla ASCII, +compressed (zipped), HTML and others. + +Corrected EDITIONS of our eBooks replace the old file and take over +the old filename and etext number. The replaced older file is renamed. +VERSIONS based on separate sources are treated as new eBooks receiving +new filenames and etext numbers. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">https://www.gutenberg.org</a> + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + +EBooks posted prior to November 2003, with eBook numbers BELOW #10000, +are filed in directories based on their release date. If you want to +download any of these eBooks directly, rather than using the regular +search system you may utilize the following addresses and just +download by the etext year. + +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext06/">https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/etext06/</a> + + (Or /etext 05, 04, 03, 02, 01, 00, 99, + 98, 97, 96, 95, 94, 93, 92, 92, 91 or 90) + +EBooks posted since November 2003, with etext numbers OVER #10000, are +filed in a different way. The year of a release date is no longer part +of the directory path. The path is based on the etext number (which is +identical to the filename). The path to the file is made up of single +digits corresponding to all but the last digit in the filename. For +example an eBook of filename 10234 would be found at: + +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/0/2/3/10234 + +or filename 24689 would be found at: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/2/4/6/8/24689 + +An alternative method of locating eBooks: +<a href="https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL">https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/GUTINDEX.ALL</a> + +*** END: FULL LICENSE *** +</pre> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/405.gif b/old/13649-h/images/405.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2294960 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/405.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/406.gif b/old/13649-h/images/406.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..261ba3b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/406.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/407.gif b/old/13649-h/images/407.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..0c12360 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/407.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/408.gif b/old/13649-h/images/408.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c40b6a4 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/408.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/409.gif b/old/13649-h/images/409.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1b363a5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/409.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/410.gif b/old/13649-h/images/410.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a437a0b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/410.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/411.gif b/old/13649-h/images/411.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..94f47f2 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/411.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/412.gif b/old/13649-h/images/412.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..fe0bf24 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/412.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/413.gif b/old/13649-h/images/413.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7289b7c --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/413.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/414.gif b/old/13649-h/images/414.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..da4dc90 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/414.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/415.gif b/old/13649-h/images/415.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..48bc64e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/415.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/416.gif b/old/13649-h/images/416.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2360c53 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/416.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/417.gif b/old/13649-h/images/417.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..81d95ae --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/417.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/418.gif b/old/13649-h/images/418.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7400867 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/418.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/419.gif b/old/13649-h/images/419.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..88c0428 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/419.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/420.gif b/old/13649-h/images/420.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..65ae987 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/420.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/421.gif b/old/13649-h/images/421.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8cd82f2 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/421.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/422.gif b/old/13649-h/images/422.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ae4cec5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/422.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/423.gif b/old/13649-h/images/423.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..0a12ae1 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/423.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/424.gif b/old/13649-h/images/424.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2ed3225 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/424.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/425.gif b/old/13649-h/images/425.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e2a22ee --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/425.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/426.gif b/old/13649-h/images/426.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d319e9a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/426.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/427.gif b/old/13649-h/images/427.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..4d53790 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/427.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/428.gif b/old/13649-h/images/428.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5c545cc --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/428.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/429.gif b/old/13649-h/images/429.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b8513a1 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/429.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/430.gif b/old/13649-h/images/430.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..50e25b2 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/430.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/431.gif b/old/13649-h/images/431.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b39037b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/431.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/432.gif b/old/13649-h/images/432.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1bac9ba --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/432.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/433.gif b/old/13649-h/images/433.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3be37f7 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/433.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/434.gif b/old/13649-h/images/434.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c1a75b3 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/434.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/435.gif b/old/13649-h/images/435.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7f3e020 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/435.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/436.gif b/old/13649-h/images/436.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..35fa80f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/436.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/437.gif b/old/13649-h/images/437.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a1d58b5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/437.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/438.gif b/old/13649-h/images/438.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3a74532 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/438.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/439.gif b/old/13649-h/images/439.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..cb09367 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/439.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/440.gif b/old/13649-h/images/440.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..81b91af --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/440.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/441.gif b/old/13649-h/images/441.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..5a91435 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/441.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/442.gif b/old/13649-h/images/442.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..96c4676 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/442.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/443.gif b/old/13649-h/images/443.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..03b66be --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/443.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/444.gif b/old/13649-h/images/444.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b3f8a4a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/444.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/445.gif b/old/13649-h/images/445.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..85b3357 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/445.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/446.gif b/old/13649-h/images/446.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b1367c9 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/446.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/447.gif b/old/13649-h/images/447.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..aad45a4 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/447.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/448.gif b/old/13649-h/images/448.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..747c69e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/448.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/449.gif b/old/13649-h/images/449.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..77b5e89 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/449.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/450.gif b/old/13649-h/images/450.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..191dbd5 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/450.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/451.gif b/old/13649-h/images/451.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..54ac21f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/451.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/a.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/a.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..38304b8 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/a.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/b.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/b.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..362099d --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/b.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/c.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/c.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9a0d05 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/c.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/d.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/d.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..23ac2e3 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/d.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/e.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/e.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..54c03b3 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/e.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/f.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/f.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8f8ce7e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/f.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/g.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/g.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..f342647 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/g.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/h.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/h.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..a316663 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/h.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/i.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/i.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ed2f68e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/i.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/j.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/j.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c63df59 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/j.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/k.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/k.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d132932 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/k.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/l.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/l.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c0fe77a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/l.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/m.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/m.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..53a3e9b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/m.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/n.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/n.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..ae78e3f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/n.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/o.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/o.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..d1b0afe --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/o.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/p.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/p.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9e1bd48 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/p.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/q.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/q.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..800b91b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/q.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/r.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/r.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..80471c4 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/r.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/s.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/s.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..30b5d80 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/s.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/t.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/t.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8de27aa --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/t.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/u.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/u.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..107fddd --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/u.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/v.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/v.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..8eddb0f --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/v.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/w.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/w.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3576abd --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/w.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/x.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/x.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..57fe324 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/x.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/y.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/y.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..00d1788 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/y.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/z.gif b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/z.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3bdd038 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/alphabet/z.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif b/old/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..c9950cb --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif b/old/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e5988eb --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/bookcovers/book4_t.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/bullet.gif b/old/13649-h/images/bullet.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..3bdf191 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/bullet.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/images/learstrip.gif b/old/13649-h/images/learstrip.gif Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..38d3f84 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/images/learstrip.gif diff --git a/old/13649-h/music/pelican.ly b/old/13649-h/music/pelican.ly new file mode 100644 index 0000000..e0257fe --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/music/pelican.ly @@ -0,0 +1,126 @@ +%[**This page is marked up in lilypond notation.**] +%#(set-global-staff-size 10) +\paper { + papersize = "letter" +} +\version "2.2.0" +\header { +% dedication = "dedication" + title = "The Pelicans" +% subtitle = "subtitle" +% subsubtitle = "Subsubtitle" +% composer = "Composer (xxxx-yyyy)" +% opus = "Opus 0" +% piece = "Piece I" +% instrument = "Instrument" +% arranger = "Arranger" +% poet = "Poet" +% texttranslator = "Translator" +% copyright = "public domain" +% source = "urtext " + enteredby = "Stan Goodman" +% maintainerEmail = "your email here" +% texidoc = "The standard header that ought to be above a file." +} + +melody = \notes { \relative c'' { + \dynamicUp + \time 6/8 + \key e \major + b4\< gis8\! e'8.\> dis16 cis8\! | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | b4\< b8 b4 b8\! | b4\> b8 b4\! + r8 + | \break + b4\< gis8\! e'8.\> dis16 cis8\! | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | \grace { gis4 } b4 + fis8 + fis b cis | dis4 cis8 b4 r8 \bar"||" \break + b,4^\markup \italic "Coro--piu sostenuto." gis'8 gis fis gis | b, e fis gis4 b,8 | e4 gis8 gis4 b8 | b8 + a8 + gis8 fis4 r8 | \break + b,4 dis8 fis eis fis | b, fis' gis a4 gis8 | cis4 b8 a8 gis fis + | + gis4 fis8 e4 r8 \bar "||" +} } + +text = \lyrics { +King and Queen of the Peli -- cans we, No other birds so grand we +see! +None but we have _ feet like fins with love -- ly lea -- the -- ry +throats and chins, +Ploff -- skin, Pluff _ -- skin, Pe -- li -- can Jee! we think no +birds +so hap -- py as we! +Plump -- skin, Ploff _ -- skin, Pe -- li -- can Jill! We think to +then, and we thought so still! +} + +upper = \notes { \relative c'' { + \time 6/8 + \key e \major + << { b4 gis8 e'8. dis16 cis8 } \\ { e,4. e4. } >> | << { b'4 b8 + gis4 r8 | b4 b8 b4 b8 | b4 b8 b4 r8 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4 s8 | <b + fis'>4. <fis' a> | <e gis> <dis fis>4 s8 } >> | + << { b'4 gis8 e'8. dis16 cis8 | b4 b8 gis4 r8 | b4 fis8 fis b + cis | dis4 cis8 b4 r8 } \\ { e,4. e | e e4 s8 | dis4 dis8 dis4 e8 | << + { + fis4. ~ fis4 } \\ { fis4 e8 dis4 s8 } >> } >> \bar"||" + s4 gis8 gis fis gis | b, e fis gis4 << { s8 e4 fis8 } \\ { b,8 ~ + b4.} >> << { gis'4 b8 } \\ { e,4. } >> | <gis b>8 <fis a> <e + gis> + <dis fis>4 r8 | \break + b4 dis8 fis eis fis | b, fis' gis a4 gis8 | << { cis4 b8 a8 gis + fis + } \\ { e2. } >> | << { <e gis>4 <dis fis>8 e4 r8 } \\ { b4. b4 + s8 } + >> \bar "||" +} } + +lower = \notes { \relative c { + \time 6/8 + \key e \major + << { gis'4 e8 cis'8. b16 a8 | gis4. b4 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4. | e4. ~ + e4 + } >> r8 | <b b'>4 b'8 b4 b8 | b4 b8 b4 r8 | + << { gis4 e8 cis'8. b16 a8 | gis4. b4 } \\ { e,4. ~ e4. | e4. ~ + e4 } + >> r8 | << { b'4 fis8 fis4. ~ | fis4 ais8 b4 } \\ { <b, fis'> + fis8 + fis4. | fis'4. <b, fis'>4 } >> r8 \bar "||" + << { b'4 s4 s4 } \\ <e,, b' e>2. \\ <gis' b>2. >> | << <gis b>2. + \\ + <e, b' e>2. >> | << { gis'4. b4. | b4. ~ b4 } \\ { e,4. e4. | + b4. ~ + b4 } >> r8 | + << { b'2. | b4. ~ b4 } \\ { <b, dis a'>2. | <b dis a'>4. ~ <b + dis + a'>4 } >> e8 | a4 gis8 cis b a | << { b,4 a'8 gis4 } \\ { b, s8 + e4 } + >> r8 \bar "||" +} } + +\score { + << + \addlyrics + \context Staff = mel { + \set Staff.autoBeaming = ##f + \set Staff.instrument = "Canto. " + \unset Staff.melismaBusyProperties + \melody + } + \context Lyrics \text + + \context PianoStaff + \set Staff.instrument = "Piano. " + << + \context Staff = upper \upper + \context Staff = lower << + \clef bass + \lower + >> + >> + >> + \paper { + pagenumber=no + \context { \RemoveEmptyStaffContext } + } + \midi { \tempo 4=120 } +} diff --git a/old/13649-h/music/pelican.midi b/old/13649-h/music/pelican.midi Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2f0786d --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/music/pelican.midi diff --git a/old/13649-h/music/pelican.pdf b/old/13649-h/music/pelican.pdf Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9497a00 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/music/pelican.pdf diff --git a/old/13649-h/music/yonghy.ly b/old/13649-h/music/yonghy.ly new file mode 100644 index 0000000..8266e46 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/music/yonghy.ly @@ -0,0 +1,149 @@ +% From Edward Lear's "Complete Nonsense". +% Transcription to Lilypond for Project Gutenberg and Distributed Proofreaders. +% No copyrights apply. + + +\version "2.2.5" + +#(ly:set-point-and-click 'line-column) + +\header { + title = "The Yonghy Bonghy Bò." +} + + +verse= \lyrics { + On the coast of Co -- ro -- man -- del, + where the ear -- ly pump -- kins grow, + In the midd -- le of the woods + lived the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò. + Two old chairs and half a cand -- le, + One old jug with -- out a hand -- le, + These were all his world -- ly goods, + In the midd -- le of the woods, + These were all the world -- ly goods, + of the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò, + of the Yon -- ghy Bon -- ghy Bò. +} + + +staffVoice = \new Staff \notes { + \time 2/4 + \set Staff.instrument="Canto." + \set Staff.midiInstrument="voice oohs" + \key e \major + \clef treble + \relative c' { + \context Voice = "melodyVoi" { + \autoBeamOff + \partial 16*2 + e16 fis gis8. fis16 gis8. a16 gis8 fis r8 dis16. e32 + fis8. fis16 e8 fis gis4 r8 gis 16 gis ais8 ais gis ais + b4 r8 b16. b32 cis8 gis ais fis b4 r8 b16. b32 + b8. ais16 b8. cis16 b8\( a\) r a16. a32 a8. gis16 a8. b16 + a8 gis r gis16. gis32 gis8 gis fis e fis4 r8 cis'16. cis32 + cis8 cis cis cis b4 b8. cis16 b8. a16 b8. a16 + gis4 r8 e16. fis32 gis8. a16 fis8. gis16 e4 b8. e16 + gis8. e16 gis8. fis16 e4 r + } + + \bar "|." + } + +} +staffPiano = \new PianoStaff { + \set PianoStaff.midiInstrument = #"acoustic grand" + \set PianoStaff.instrument = #"Piano " + << + \context Staff = RH { % Right hand + \clef treble + \notes { + \key e \major + \partial 16*2 + << { \relative c' { \slurBoth + e16 fis gis8. fis16 gis8. a16 + gis8 fis b8\rest dis,16. e32 fis8. fis16 e8 <dis fis> + <e gis>4 b'8\rest fis16 gis ais8 ais gis ais + <dis, b'>4 b'8\rest b16. b32 <gis cis>4 <e fis ais> + <dis fis b> b'8\rest b16. b32 <gis b>8. <fisis ais>16 <gis b>8. <ais cis>16 + <gis b>8( <fis a>) b8\rest a16. a32 <fis a>8. <eis gis!>16 <fis a>8. <gis b>16 + <fis a>8 <e gis> b'8\rest gis16. gis32 gis8( <b, e gis> <a b fis> <gis b e> + <fis b dis fis>4) b'8\rest cis16. cis32 cis8 cis cis cis + b4 b8. cis16 <gis b>8. <fis a>16 <gis b>8. <fis a>16 + <e gis>4 b'8\rest e,16. fis32 gis8. a16 fis8. gis16 + e4 b8. e16 gis8. e16 gis8. fis16 + e4 b'4\rest + } } \\ { \relative c' { + s8 e4 e + e8 dis s4 dis4 b8 b + b4 s4 r8 e4 e8 + s4. fis8 s2 + s2 s2 + s2 s2 + s2 s2 + s2 <e a>4 <e a> + <e gis> s dis dis + s2 e4 dis + cis s s b( + b) s + } } >> + } + } + \context Staff = LH { % Left hand + \clef bass + \notes { + \key e \major + \partial 16*2 + << { \relative c' { \slurBoth + gis16 a b8. a16 b8. cis16 + <b, b'>8 <b a'> d\rest fis16. gis32 a8. a16 gis8 fis + <e, b' e>4 d'\rest r8 cis'[ b cis] + b4 d,8\rest dis e[ cis fis fis,] + b[ fis b,] d'\rest b'4 b, + b'8[ b, b'] d,\rest b'4 b, + e8[ b e,] d'\rest s2 + s4 d\rest <a e' a> <a e' a> + <e e'> d'\rest <b b'> <b b'> + <e b'> d8\rest gis16. a32 <b, b'>4 <b a'> + <e gis> d\rest b'8. gis16 b8. a16 + gis4 d\rest + } } \\ { \relative c { \slurBoth + s8 e4 e + s2 b4 b8 b + s2 fis'4. fis8 + b4 s s2 + s s + s s + s b,( + <b, b'>4) s s2 + s s + s s + s b'4 b + e s + } } >> + } + } + >> +} + + + +\score { \notes + << + \staffVoice + \context Lyrics = lmelodyVoi \lyricsto "melodyVoi" \verse + \staffPiano + >> + + \midi { + \tempo 4 = 75 + } + + \paper { + pagenumber = no + \context { + \RemoveEmptyStaffContext + } + } + +} diff --git a/old/13649-h/music/yonghy.midi b/old/13649-h/music/yonghy.midi Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..b9f02c9 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/music/yonghy.midi diff --git a/old/13649-h/music/yonghy.pdf b/old/13649-h/music/yonghy.pdf Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..34a1adc --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649-h/music/yonghy.pdf diff --git a/old/13649.txt b/old/13649.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b78d00e --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1686 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, Laughable Lyrics, by Edward Lear + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + +Title: Laughable Lyrics + +Author: Edward Lear + +Release Date: October 8, 2004 [eBook #13649] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-646-US (US-ASCII) + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS*** + + +E-text prepared by Dave Newman, Ben Courtney, A. Deubelbeiss, Stan +Goodman, and Project Gutenberg Distributed Proofreaders + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this file which + includes the original illustrations and music clips as well as + midi, pdf, and lilypond files. + See 13649-h.htm or 13649-h.zip: + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h/13649-h.htm) + or + (https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649/13649-h.zip) + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS + +A Fourth Book of Nonsense Poems, Songs, Botany, Music, etc. + +by + +EDWARD LEAR + +Author of the _Book of Nonsense_, _More Nonsense_, +_Nonsense Songs, Stories_, etc., etc. + +With all the Original Illustrations + + + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + + +CONTENTS + + LAUGHABLE LYRICS + THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE + THE TWO OLD BACHELORS + THE PELICAN CHORUS + THE YONGHY-BONGHY-Bo + THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES + THE NEW VESTMENTS + MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS + THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT + THE CUMMERBUND + THE AKOND OF SWAT + + NONSENSE BOTANY + + " ALPHABET, No. 5 + " " No. 6 + + + + + +LAUGHABLE LYRICS. + + +THE DONG WITH A LUMINOUS NOSE. + +[Illustration] + + When awful darkness and silence reign + Over the great Gromboolian plain, + Through the long, long wintry nights; + When the angry breakers roar + As they beat on the rocky shore; + When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights + Of the Hills of the Chankly Bore,-- + + Then, through the vast and gloomy dark + There moves what seems a fiery spark,-- + A lonely spark with silvery rays + Piercing the coal-black night,-- + A Meteor strange and bright: + Hither and thither the vision strays, + A single lurid light. + + Slowly it wanders, pauses, creeps,-- + Anon it sparkles, flashes, and leaps; + And ever as onward it gleaming goes + A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws. + And those who watch at that midnight hour + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as the wild light passes along,-- + "The Dong! the Dong! + The wandering Dong through the forest goes! + The Dong! the Dong! + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + Long years ago + The Dong was happy and gay, + Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl + Who came to those shores one day. + For the Jumblies came in a sieve, they did,-- + Landing at eve near the Zemmery Fidd + Where the Oblong Oysters grow, + And the rocks are smooth and gray. + And all the woods and the valleys rang + With the Chorus they daily and nightly sang,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve._" + + Happily, happily passed those days! + While the cheerful Jumblies staid; + They danced in circlets all night long, + To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong, + In moonlight, shine, or shade. + For day and night he was always there + By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair, + With her sky-blue hands and her sea-green hair; + Till the morning came of that hateful day + When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away, + And the Dong was left on the cruel shore + Gazing, gazing for evermore,-- + Ever keeping his weary eyes on + That pea-green sail on the far horizon,-- + Singing the Jumbly Chorus still + As he sate all day on the grassy hill,-- + "_Far and few, far and few, + Are the lands where the Jumblies live; + Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, + And they went to sea in a sieve_." + + But when the sun was low in the West, + The Dong arose and said,-- + "What little sense I once possessed + Has quite gone out of my head!" + And since that day he wanders still + By lake and forest, marsh and hill, + Singing, "O somewhere, in valley or plain, + Might I find my Jumbly Girl again! + For ever I'll seek by lake and shore + Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!" + + Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks, + Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks; + And because by night he could not see, + He gathered the bark of the Twangum Tree + On the flowery plain that grows. + And he wove him a wondrous Nose,-- + A Nose as strange as a Nose could be! + + Of vast proportions and painted red, + And tied with cords to the back of his head. + In a hollow rounded space it ended + With a luminous Lamp within suspended, + All fenced about + With a bandage stout + To prevent the wind from blowing it out; + And with holes all round to send the light + In gleaming rays on the dismal night + + And now each night, and all night long, + Over those plains still roams the Dong; + And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe + You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe, + While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain, + To meet with his Jumbly Girl again; + Lonely and wild, all night he goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + And all who watch at the midnight hour, + From Hall or Terrace or lofty Tower, + Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright, + Moving along through the dreary night,-- + "This is the hour when forth he goes, + The Dong with a luminous Nose! + Yonder, over the plain he goes,-- + He goes! + He goes,-- + The Dong with a luminous Nose!" + + + + +THE TWO OLD BACHELORS. + +[Illustration] + +Two old Bachelors were living in one house; +One caught a Muffin, the other caught a Mouse. +Said he who caught the Muffin to him who caught the Mouse,-- +"This happens just in time! For we've nothing in the house, +Save a tiny slice of lemon and a teaspoonful of honey, +And what to do for dinner--since we haven't any money? +And what can we expect if we haven't any dinner, +But to lose our teeth and eyelashes and keep on growing thinner?" + +Said he who caught the Mouse to him who caught the Muffin,-- +"We might cook this little Mouse, if we only had some Stuffin'! +If we had but Sage and Onion we could do extremely well; +But how to get that Stuffin' it is difficult to tell!" + +Those two old Bachelors ran quickly to the town +And asked for Sage and Onion as they wandered up and down; +They borrowed two large Onions, but no Sage was to be found +In the Shops, or in the Market, or in all the Gardens round. + +But some one said, "A hill there is, a little to the north, +And to its purpledicular top a narrow way leads forth; +And there among the rugged rocks abides an ancient Sage,-- +An earnest Man, who reads all day a most perplexing page. +Climb up, and seize him by the toes,--all studious as he sits,-- +And pull him down, and chop him into endless little bits! +Then mix him with your Onion (cut up likewise into Scraps),-- +When your Stuffin' will be ready, and very good--perhaps." + +Those two old Bachelors without loss of time +The nearly purpledicular crags at once began to climb; +And at the top, among the rocks, all seated in a nook, +They saw that Sage a-reading of a most enormous book. + +"You earnest Sage!" aloud they cried, "your book you've read enough in! +We wish to chop you into bits to mix you into Stuffin'!" + +But that old Sage looked calmly up, and with his awful book, +At those two Bachelors' bald heads a certain aim he took; +And over Crag and precipice they rolled promiscuous down,-- +At once they rolled, and never stopped in lane or field or town; +And when they reached their house, they found (besides their want + of Stuffin'), +The Mouse had fled--and, previously, had eaten up the Muffin. + +They left their home in silence by the once convivial door; +And from that hour those Bachelors were never heard of more. + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Pelicans] + +[Illustration] + +THE PELICAN CHORUS. + + King and Queen of the Pelicans we; + No other Birds so grand we see! + None but we have feet like fins! + With lovely leathery throats and chins! + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican Jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still + + We live on the Nile. The Nile we love. + By night we sleep on the cliffs above; + By day we fish, and at eve we stand + On long bare islands of yellow sand. + And when the sun sinks slowly down, + And the great rock walls grow dark and brown, + + Where the purple river rolls fast and dim + And the Ivory Ibis starlike skim, + Wing to wing we dance around, + Stamping our feet with a flumpy sound, + Opening our mouths as Pelicans ought; + And this is the song we nightly snort,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Last year came out our Daughter Dell, + And all the Birds received her well. + To do her honor a feast we made + For every bird that can swim or wade,-- + Herons and Gulls, and Cormorants black, + Cranes, and Flamingoes with scarlet back, + Plovers and Storks, and Geese in clouds, + Swans and Dilberry Ducks in crowds: + Thousands of Birds in wondrous flight! + They ate and drank and danced all night, + And echoing back from the rocks you heard + Multitude-echoes from Bird and Bird,-- + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + Yes, they came; and among the rest + The King of the Cranes all grandly dressed. + Such a lovely tail! Its feathers float + Between the ends of his blue dress-coat; + With pea-green trowsers all so neat, + And a delicate frill to hide his feet + (For though no one speaks of it, every one knows + He has got no webs between his toes). + + As soon as he saw our Daughter Dell, + In violent love that Crane King fell,-- + On seeing her waddling form so fair, + With a wreath of shrimps in her short white hair. + And before the end of the next long day + Our Dell had given her heart away; + For the King of the Cranes had won that heart + With a Crocodile's egg and a large fish-tart. + She vowed to marry the King of the Cranes, + Leaving the Nile for stranger plains; + And away they flew in a gathering crowd + Of endless birds in a lengthening cloud. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + And far away in the twilight sky + We heard them singing a lessening cry,-- + Farther and farther, till out of sight, + And we stood alone in the silent night! + Often since, in the nights of June, + We sit on the sand and watch the moon,-- + + She has gone to the great Gromboolian Plain, + And we probably never shall meet again! + Oft, in the long still nights of June, + We sit on the rocks and watch the moon,-- + She dwells by the streams of the Chankly Bore. + And we probably never shall see her more. + Ploffskin, Pluffskin, Pelican jee! + We think no Birds so happy as we! + Plumpskin, Ploshkin, Pelican jill! + We think so then, and we thought so still! + + +[Illustration: Sheet Music--The Yonghy Bonghy Bo] + +THE COURTSHIP OF THE YONGHY-BONGHY-BO. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the Coast of Coromandel + Where the early pumpkins blow, + In the middle of the woods + Lived the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + Two old chairs, and half a candle, + One old jug without a handle,-- + These were all his worldly goods: + In the middle of the woods, + These were all the worldly goods + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Of the Yonghy-Bonghy Bo. + + + II. + + Once, among the Bong-trees walking + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To a little heap of stones + Came the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + There he heard a Lady talking, + To some milk-white Hens of Dorking,-- + "'Tis the Lady Jingly Jones! + On that little heap of stones + Sits the Lady Jingly Jones!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + III. + + "Lady Jingly! Lady Jingly! + Sitting where the pumpkins blow, + Will you come and be my wife?" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + "I am tired of living singly-- + On this coast so wild and shingly,-- + I'm a-weary of my life; + If you'll come and be my wife, + Quite serene would be my life!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + IV. + + "On this Coast of Coromandel + Shrimps and watercresses grow, + Prawns are plentiful and cheap," + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + "You shall have my chairs and candle, + And my jug without a handle! + Gaze upon the rolling deep + (Fish is plentiful and cheap); + As the sea, my love is deep!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + V. + + Lady Jingly answered sadly, + And her tears began to flow,-- + "Your proposal comes too late, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + I would be your wife most gladly!" + (Here she twirled her fingers madly,) + "But in England I've a mate! + Yes! you've asked me far too late, + For in England I've a mate, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + + + VI. + + "Mr. Jones (his name is Handel,-- + Handel Jones, Esquire, & Co.) + Dorking fowls delights to send, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + Keep, oh, keep your chairs and candle, + And your jug without a handle,-- + I can merely be your friend! + Should my Jones more Dorkings send, + I will give you three, my friend! + Mr. Yonghy-Bongy-Bo! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + + + VII. + + "Though you've such a tiny body, + And your head so large doth grow,-- + Though your hat may blow away, + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo! + Though you're such a Hoddy Doddy, + Yet I wish that I could modi- + fy the words I needs must say! + Will you please to go away? + That is all I have to say, + Mr. Yongby-Bonghy-Bo! + Mr. Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo!" + + + VIII. + + Down the slippery slopes of Myrtle, + Where the early pumpkins blow, + To the calm and silent sea + Fled the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + There, beyond the Bay of Gurtle, + Lay a large and lively Turtle. + "You're the Cove," he said, "for me; + On your back beyond the sea, + Turtle, you shall carry me!" + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Said the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + [Illustration] + + + IX. + + Through the silent-roaring ocean + Did the Turtle swiftly go; + Holding fast upon his shell + Rode the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + With a sad primaeval motion + Towards the sunset isles of Boshen + Still the Turtle bore him well. + Holding fast upon his shell, + "Lady Jingly Jones, farewell!" + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + Sang the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + X. + + From the Coast of Coromandel + Did that Lady never go; + On that heap of stones she mourns + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + On that Coast of Coromandel, + In his jug without a handle + Still she weeps, and daily moans; + On that little heap of stones + To her Dorking Hens she moans, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo, + For the Yonghy-Bonghy-Bo. + + + + +THE POBBLE WHO HAS NO TOES. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Had once as many as we; + When they said, "Some day you may lose them all;" + He replied, "Fish fiddle de-dee!" + And his Aunt Jobiska made him drink + Lavender water tinged with pink; + For she said, "The World in general knows + There's nothing so good for a Pobble's toes!" + + + II. + + The Pobble who has no toes, + Swam across the Bristol Channel; + But before he set out he wrapped his nose + In a piece of scarlet flannel. + For his Aunt Jobiska said, "No harm + Can come to his toes if his nose is warm; + And it's perfectly known that a Pobble's toes + Are safe--provided he minds his nose." + + + III. + + The Pobble swam fast and well, + And when boats or ships came near him, + He tinkledy-binkledy-winkled a bell + So that all the world could hear him. + And all the Sailors and Admirals cried, + When they saw him nearing the further side,-- + "He has gone to fish, for his Aunt Jobiska's + Runcible Cat with crimson whiskers!" + + + IV. + + But before he touched the shore,-- + The shore of the Bristol Channel, + A sea-green Porpoise carried away + His wrapper of scarlet flannel. + And when he came to observe his feet, + Formerly garnished with toes so neat, + His face at once became forlorn + On perceiving that all his toes were gone! + + + V. + + And nobody ever knew, + From that dark day to the present, + Whoso had taken the Pobble's toes, + In a manner so far from pleasant. + Whether the shrimps or crawfish gray, + Or crafty Mermaids stole them away, + Nobody knew; and nobody knows + How the Pobble was robbed of his twice five toes! + + + VI. + + The Pobble who has no toes + Was placed in a friendly Bark, + And they rowed him back, and carried him up + To his Aunt Jobiska's Park. + And she made him a feast, at his earnest wish, + Of eggs and buttercups fried with fish; + And she said, "It's a fact the whole world knows, + That Pobbles are happier without their toes." + + + + +THE NEW VESTMENTS. + + There lived an old man in the Kingdom of Tess, + Who invented a purely original dress; + And when it was perfectly made and complete, + He opened the door and walked into the street. + + By way of a hat he'd a loaf of Brown Bread, + In the middle of which he inserted his head; + His Shirt was made up of no end of dead Mice, + The warmth of whose skins was quite fluffy and nice; + His Drawers were of Rabbit-skins, so were his Shoes; + His Stockings were skins, but it is not known whose; + His Waistcoat and Trowsers were made of Pork Chops; + His Buttons were Jujubes and Chocolate Drops; + His Coat was all Pancakes, with Jam for a border, + And a girdle of Biscuits to keep it in order; + And he wore over all, as a screen from bad weather, + A Cloak of green Cabbage-leaves stitched all together. + + He had walked a short way, when he heard a great noise, + Of all sorts of Beasticles, Birdlings, and Boys; + And from every long street and dark lane in the town + Beasts, Birdies, and Boys in a tumult rushed down. + Two Cows and a Calf ate his Cabbage-leaf Cloak; + Four Apes seized his Girdle, which vanished like smoke; + Three Kids ate up half of his Pancaky Coat, + And the tails were devour'd by an ancient He Goat; + An army of Dogs in a twinkling tore _up_ his + Pork Waistcoat and Trowsers to give to their Puppies; + And while they were growling, and mumbling the Chops, + Ten Boys prigged the Jujubes and Chocolate Drops. + He tried to run back to his house, but in vain, + For scores of fat Pigs came again and again: + They rushed out of stables and hovels and doors; + They tore off his stockings, his shoes, and his drawers; + And now from the housetops with screechings descend + Striped, spotted, white, black, and gray Cats without end: + They jumped on his shoulders and knocked off his hat, + When Crows, Ducks, and Hens made a mincemeat of that; + They speedily flew at his sleeves in a trice, + And utterly tore up his Shirt of dead Mice; + They swallowed the last of his Shirt with a squall,-- + Whereon he ran home with no clothes on at all. + + And he said to himself, as he bolted the door, + "I will not wear a similar dress any more, + Any more, any more, any more, never more!" + + + + +MR. AND MRS. DISCOBBOLOS. + + I. + + Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Climbed to the top of a wall. + And they sate to watch the sunset sky, + And to hear the Nupiter Piffkin cry, + And the Biscuit Buffalo call. + They took up a roll and some Camomile tea, + And both were as happy as happy could be, + Till Mrs. Discobbolos said,-- + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head, + Suppose we should happen to fall!!!!! + Darling Mr. Discobbolos! + + + II. + + "Suppose we should fall down flumpetty, + Just like pieces of stone, + On to the thorns, or into the moat, + What would become of your new green coat? + And might you not break a bone? + It never occurred to me before, + That perhaps we shall never go down any more!" + And Mrs. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + What put it into your head + To climb up this wall, my own + Darling Mr. Discobbolos?" + + + III. + + Mr. Discobbolos answered, + "At first it gave me pain, + And I felt my ears turn perfectly pink + When your exclamation made me think + We might never get down again! + But now I believe it is wiser far + To remain for ever just where we are." + And Mr. Discobbolos said, + "Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + It has just come into my head + We shall never go down again, + Dearest Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + IV. + + So Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos + Stood up and began to sing,-- + "Far away from hurry and strife + Here we will pass the rest of life, + Ding a dong, ding dong, ding! + We want no knives nor forks nor chairs, + No tables nor carpets nor household cares; + From worry of life we've fled; + Oh! W! X! Y! Z! + There is no more trouble ahead, + Sorrow or any such thing, + For Mr. and Mrs. Discobbolos!" + + + + +THE QUANGLE WANGLE'S HAT. + +[Illustration] + + I. + + On the top of the Crumpetty Tree + The Quangle Wangle sat, + But his face you could not see, + On account of his Beaver Hat. + For his Hat was a hundred and two feet wide, + With ribbons and bibbons on every side, + And bells, and buttons, and loops, and lace, + So that nobody ever could see the face + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + II. + + The Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "Jam, and jelly, and bread + Are the best of food for me! + But the longer I live on this Crumpetty Tree + The plainer than ever it seems to me + That very few people come this way + And that life on the whole is far from gay!" + Said the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + III. + + But there came to the Crumpetty Tree + Mr. and Mrs. Canary; + And they said, "Did ever you see + Any spot so charmingly airy? + May we build a nest on your lovely Hat? + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + O please let us come and build a nest + Of whatever material suits you best, + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + IV. + + And besides, to the Crumpetty Tree + Came the Stork, the Duck, and the Owl; + The Snail and the Bumble-Bee, + The Frog and the Fimble Fowl + (The Fimble Fowl, with a Corkscrew leg); + And all of them said, "We humbly beg + We may build our homes on your lovely Hat,-- + Mr. Quangle Wangle, grant us that! + Mr. Quangle Wangle Quee!" + + + V. + + And the Golden Grouse came there, + And the Pobble who has no toes, + And the small Olympian bear, + And the Dong with a luminous nose. + And the Blue Baboon who played the flute, + And the Orient Calf from the Land of Tute, + And the Attery Squash, and the Bisky Bat,-- + All came and built on the lovely Hat + Of the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + VI. + + And the Quangle Wangle said + To himself on the Crumpetty Tree, + "When all these creatures move + What a wonderful noise there'll be!" + And at night by the light of the Mulberry moon + They danced to the Flute of the Blue Baboon, + On the broad green leaves of the Crumpetty Tree, + And all were as happy as happy could be, + With the Quangle Wangle Quee. + + + + +THE CUMMERBUND. +An Indian Poem. + + I. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + To watch the Evening Star, +And all the Punkahs, as they passed, + Cried, "My! how fair you are!" +Around her bower, with quivering leaves, + The tall Kamsamahs grew, +And Kitmutgars in wild festoons + Hung down from Tchokis blue. + + + II. + +Below her home the river rolled + With soft meloobious sound, +Where golden-finned Chuprassies swam, + In myriads circling round. +Above, on tallest trees remote + Green Ayahs perched alone, +And all night long the Mussak moan'd + Its melancholy tone. + + + III. + +And where the purple Nullahs threw + Their branches far and wide, +And silvery Goreewallahs flew + In silence, side by side, +The little Bheesties' twittering cry + Rose on the flagrant air, +And oft the angry Jampan howled + Deep in his hateful lair. + + + IV. + +She sate upon her Dobie, + She heard the Nimmak hum, +When all at once a cry arose, + "The Cummerbund is come!" +In vain she fled: with open jaws + The angry monster followed, +And so (before assistance came) + That Lady Fair was swollowed. + + + V. + +They sought in vain for even a bone + Respectfully to bury; +They said, "Hers was a dreadful fate!" + (And Echo answered, "Very.") +They nailed her Dobie to the wall, + Where last her form was seen, +And underneath they wrote these words, + In yellow, blue, and green: +"Beware, ye Fair! Ye Fair, beware! + Nor sit out late at night, +Lest horrid Cummerbunds should come, + And swollow you outright." + + +NOTE.--First published in _Times of India_, Bombay, July, 1874. + + + + +THE AKOND OF SWAT. + + + Who, or why, or which, or _what_, Is the Akond of SWAT? + Is he tall or short, or dark or fair? + Does he sit on a stool or a sofa or chair, or SQUAT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he wise or foolish, young or old? + Does he drink his soup and his coffee cold, or HOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he sing or whistle, jabber or talk, + And when riding abroad does he gallop or walk, or TROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a turban, a fez, or a hat? + Does he sleep on a mattress, a bed, or a mat, or a COT, + The Akond of Swat? + + When he writes a copy in round-hand size, + Does he cross his T's and finish his I's with a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Can he write a letter concisely clear + Without a speck or a smudge or smear or BLOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people like him extremely well? + Or do they, whenever they can, rebel, or PLOT, + At the Akond of Swat? + + If he catches them then, either old or young, + Does he have them chopped in pieces or hung, or _shot_, + The Akond of Swat? + + Do his people prig in the lanes or park? + Or even at times, when days are dark, GAROTTE? + O the Akond of Swat! + + Does he study the wants of his own dominion? + Or doesn't he care for public opinion a JOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + To amuse his mind do his people show him + Pictures, or any one's last new poem, or WHAT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + At night if he suddenly screams and wakes, + Do they bring him only a few small cakes, or a LOT, + For the Akond of Swat? + + Does he live on turnips, tea, or tripe? + Does he like his shawl to be marked with a stripe, or a DOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to lie on his back in a boat + Like the lady who lived in that isle remote, SHALLOTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Is he quiet, or always making a fuss? + Is his steward a Swiss or a Swede or a Russ, or a SCOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like to sit by the calm blue wave? + Or to sleep and snore in a dark green cave, or a GROTT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he drink small beer from a silver jug? + Or a bowl? or a glass? or a cup? or a mug? or a POT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he beat his wife with a gold-topped pipe, + When she lets the gooseberries grow too ripe, or ROT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he wear a white tie when he dines with friends, + And tie it neat in a bow with ends, or a KNOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he like new cream, and hate mince-pies? + When he looks at the sun does he wink his eyes, or NOT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Does he teach his subjects to roast and bake? + Does he sail about on an inland lake, in a YACHT, + The Akond of Swat? + + Some one, or nobody, knows I wot + Who or which or why or what + Is the Akond of Swat! + + +NOTE.--For the existence of this potentate see Indian newspapers, _passim_. +The proper way to read the verses is to make an immense emphasis on the +monosyllabic rhymes, which indeed ought to be shouted out by a chorus. + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE BOTANY. + + +[Illustration: Armchairia Comfortabilis.] + +[Illustration: Bassia Palealensis.] + +[Illustration: Bubblia Blowpipia.] + +[Illustration: Bluebottlia Buzztilentia.] + +[Illustration: Crabbia Horrida.] + +[Illustration: Smalltoothcombia Domestica.] + +[Illustration: Knutmigrata Simplice.] + +[Illustration: Tureenia Ladlecum.] + +[Illustration: Puffia Leatherbellowsa.] + +[Illustration: Queeriflora Babyoeides.] + + * * * * * + + + + +NONSENSE ALPHABETS. + + + A + + [Illustration] + + A was an Area Arch + Where washerwomen sat; + They made a lot of lovely starch + To starch Papa's Cravat. + + + B + + [Illustration] + + B was a Bottle blue, + Which was not very small; + Papa he filled it full of beer, + And then he drank it all. + + + C + + [Illustration] + + C was Papa's gray Cat, + Who caught a squeaky Mouse; + She pulled him by his twirly tail + All about the house. + + + D + + [Illustration] + + D was Papa's white Duck, + Who had a curly tail; + One day it ate a great fat frog, + Besides a leetle snail. + + + E + + [Illustration] + + E was a little Egg, + Upon the breakfast table; + Papa came in and ate it up + As fast as he was able. + + + F + + [Illustration] + + F was a little Fish. + Cook in the river took it + Papa said, "Cook! Cook! bring a dish! + And, Cook! be quick and cook it!" + + + G + + [Illustration] + + G was Papa's new Gun; + He put it in a box; + And then he went and bought a bun, + And walked about the Docks. + + + H + + [Illustration] + + H was Papa's new Hat; + He wore it on his head; + Outside it was completely black, + But inside it was red. + + + I + + [Illustration] + + I was an Inkstand new, + Papa he likes to use it; + He keeps it in his pocket now, + For fear that he should lose it. + + + J + + [Illustration] + + J was some Apple Jam, + Of which Papa ate part; + But all the rest he took away + And stuffed into a tart. + + + K + + [Illustration] + + K was a great new Kite; + Papa he saw it fly + Above a thousand chimney pots, + And all about the sky. + + + L + + [Illustration] + + L was a fine new Lamp; + But when the wick was lit, + Papa he said, "This Light ain't good! + I cannot read a bit!" + + + M + + [Illustration] + + M was a dish of mince; + It looked so good to eat! + Papa, he quickly ate it up, + And said, "This is a treat!" + + + N + + [Illustration] + + N was a Nut that grew + High up upon a tree; + Papa, who could not reach it, said, + "That's _much_ too high for me!" + + + O + + [Illustration] + + O was an Owl who flew + All in the dark away, + Papa said, "What an owl you are! + Why don't you fly by day?" + + P + + [Illustration] + + P was a little Pig, + Went out to take a walk; + Papa he said, "If Piggy dead, + He'd all turn into Pork!" + + + Q + + [Illustration] + + Q was a Quince that hung + Upon a garden tree; + Papa he brought it with him home, + And ate it with his tea. + + + R + + [Illustration] + + R was a Railway Rug + Extremely large and warm; + Papa he wrapped it round his head, + In a most dreadful storm. + + + S + + [Illustration] + + S was Papa's new Stick, + Papa's new thumping Stick, + To thump extremely wicked boys, + Because it was so thick. + + + T + + [Illustration] + + T was a tumbler full + Of Punch all hot and good; + Papa he drank it up, when in + The middle of a wood. + + + U + + [Illustration] + + U was a silver urn, + Full of hot scalding water; + Papa said, "If that Urn were mine, + I'd give it to my daughter!" + + + V + + [Illustration] + + V was a Villain; once + He stole a piece of beef. + Papa he said, "Oh, dreadful man! + That Villain is a Thief!" + + + W + + [Illustration] + + W was a Watch of Gold: + It told the time of day, + So that Papa knew when to come, + And when to go away. + + + X + + [Illustration] + + X was King Xerxes, whom + Papa much wished to know; + But this he could not do, because + Xerxes died long ago. + + + Y + + [Illustration] + + Y was a Youth, who kicked + And screamed and cried like mad; + Papa he said, "Your conduct is + Abominably bad!" + + + Z + + [Illustration] + + Z was a Zebra striped + And streaked with lines of black; + Papa said once, he thought he'd like + A ride upon his back. + + + + +ALPHABET, No. 6. + + A tumbled down, and hurt his Arm, against a bit of wood, + + B said. "My Boy, oh, do not cry; it cannot do you good!" + + C said, "A Cup of Coffee hot can't do you any harm." + + D said, "A Doctor should be fetched, and he would cure the arm." + + E said, "An Egg beat up with milk would quickly make him well." + + F said, "A Fish, if broiled, might cure, if only by the smell." + + G said, "Green Gooseberry fool, the best of cures I hold." + + H said, "His Hat should be kept on, to keep him from the cold." + + I said, "Some Ice upon his head will make him better soon." + + J said, "Some Jam, if spread on bread, or given in a spoon!" + + K said, "A Kangaroo is here,--this picture let him see." + + L said, "A Lamp pray keep alight, to make some barley tea." + + M said, "A Mulberry or two might give him satisfaction." + + N said, "Some Nuts, if rolled about, might be a slight attraction." + + O said, "An Owl might make him laugh, if only it would wink." + + P said, "Some Poetry might be read aloud, to make him think." + + Q said, "A Quince I recommend,--a Quince, or else a Quail." + + R said, "Some Rats might make him move, if fastened by their tail." + + S said, "A Song should now be sung, in hopes to make him laugh!" + + T said, "A Turnip might avail, if sliced or cut in half!" + + U said, "An Urn, with water hot, place underneath his chin!" + + V said, "I'll stand upon a chair, and play a Violin!" + + W said, "Some Whisky-Whizzgigs fetch, some marbles and a ball!" + + X said, "Some double XX ale would be the best of all!" + + Y said, "Some Yeast mixed up with salt would make a perfect plaster!" + + Z said, "Here is a box of Zinc! Get in, my little master! + We'll shut you up! We'll nail you down! We will, my little + master! + We think we've all heard quite enough of this your sad + disaster!" + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK LAUGHABLE LYRICS*** + + +******* This file should be named 13649.txt or 13649.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/dirs/1/3/6/4/13649 + + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. Project +Gutenberg is a registered trademark, and may not be used if you +charge for the eBooks, unless you receive specific permission. If you +do not charge anything for copies of this eBook, complying with the +rules is very easy. You may use this eBook for nearly any purpose +such as creation of derivative works, reports, performances and +research. They may be modified and printed and given away--you may do +practically ANYTHING with public domain eBooks. Redistribution is +subject to the trademark license, especially commercial +redistribution. + + + +*** START: FULL LICENSE *** + +THE FULL PROJECT GUTENBERG LICENSE +PLEASE READ THIS BEFORE YOU DISTRIBUTE OR USE THIS WORK + +To protect the Project Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting the free +distribution of electronic works, by using or distributing this work +(or any other work associated in any way with the phrase "Project +Gutenberg"), you agree to comply with all the terms of the Full Project +Gutenberg-tm License (available with this file or online at +https://gutenberg.org/license). + + +Section 1. General Terms of Use and Redistributing Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic works + +1.A. By reading or using any part of this Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work, you indicate that you have read, understand, agree to +and accept all the terms of this license and intellectual property +(trademark/copyright) agreement. If you do not agree to abide by all +the terms of this agreement, you must cease using and return or destroy +all copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in your possession. +If you paid a fee for obtaining a copy of or access to a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work and you do not agree to be bound by the +terms of this agreement, you may obtain a refund from the person or +entity to whom you paid the fee as set forth in paragraph 1.E.8. + +1.B. "Project Gutenberg" is a registered trademark. It may only be +used on or associated in any way with an electronic work by people who +agree to be bound by the terms of this agreement. There are a few +things that you can do with most Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works +even without complying with the full terms of this agreement. See +paragraph 1.C below. There are a lot of things you can do with Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works if you follow the terms of this agreement +and help preserve free future access to Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. See paragraph 1.E below. + +1.C. The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation ("the Foundation" +or PGLAF), owns a compilation copyright in the collection of Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic works. Nearly all the individual works in the +collection are in the public domain in the United States. If an +individual work is in the public domain in the United States and you are +located in the United States, we do not claim a right to prevent you from +copying, distributing, performing, displaying or creating derivative +works based on the work as long as all references to Project Gutenberg +are removed. Of course, we hope that you will support the Project +Gutenberg-tm mission of promoting free access to electronic works by +freely sharing Project Gutenberg-tm works in compliance with the terms of +this agreement for keeping the Project Gutenberg-tm name associated with +the work. You can easily comply with the terms of this agreement by +keeping this work in the same format with its attached full Project +Gutenberg-tm License when you share it without charge with others. + +1.D. The copyright laws of the place where you are located also govern +what you can do with this work. Copyright laws in most countries are in +a constant state of change. If you are outside the United States, check +the laws of your country in addition to the terms of this agreement +before downloading, copying, displaying, performing, distributing or +creating derivative works based on this work or any other Project +Gutenberg-tm work. The Foundation makes no representations concerning +the copyright status of any work in any country outside the United +States. + +1.E. Unless you have removed all references to Project Gutenberg: + +1.E.1. The following sentence, with active links to, or other immediate +access to, the full Project Gutenberg-tm License must appear prominently +whenever any copy of a Project Gutenberg-tm work (any work on which the +phrase "Project Gutenberg" appears, or with which the phrase "Project +Gutenberg" is associated) is accessed, displayed, performed, viewed, +copied or distributed: + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + +1.E.2. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is derived +from the public domain (does not contain a notice indicating that it is +posted with permission of the copyright holder), the work can be copied +and distributed to anyone in the United States without paying any fees +or charges. If you are redistributing or providing access to a work +with the phrase "Project Gutenberg" associated with or appearing on the +work, you must comply either with the requirements of paragraphs 1.E.1 +through 1.E.7 or obtain permission for the use of the work and the +Project Gutenberg-tm trademark as set forth in paragraphs 1.E.8 or +1.E.9. + +1.E.3. If an individual Project Gutenberg-tm electronic work is posted +with the permission of the copyright holder, your use and distribution +must comply with both paragraphs 1.E.1 through 1.E.7 and any additional +terms imposed by the copyright holder. Additional terms will be linked +to the Project Gutenberg-tm License for all works posted with the +permission of the copyright holder found at the beginning of this work. + +1.E.4. Do not unlink or detach or remove the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License terms from this work, or any files containing a part of this +work or any other work associated with Project Gutenberg-tm. + +1.E.5. Do not copy, display, perform, distribute or redistribute this +electronic work, or any part of this electronic work, without +prominently displaying the sentence set forth in paragraph 1.E.1 with +active links or immediate access to the full terms of the Project +Gutenberg-tm License. + +1.E.6. You may convert to and distribute this work in any binary, +compressed, marked up, nonproprietary or proprietary form, including any +word processing or hypertext form. However, if you provide access to or +distribute copies of a Project Gutenberg-tm work in a format other than +"Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other format used in the official version +posted on the official Project Gutenberg-tm web site (www.gutenberg.org), +you must, at no additional cost, fee or expense to the user, provide a +copy, a means of exporting a copy, or a means of obtaining a copy upon +request, of the work in its original "Plain Vanilla ASCII" or other +form. Any alternate format must include the full Project Gutenberg-tm +License as specified in paragraph 1.E.1. + +1.E.7. Do not charge a fee for access to, viewing, displaying, +performing, copying or distributing any Project Gutenberg-tm works +unless you comply with paragraph 1.E.8 or 1.E.9. + +1.E.8. You may charge a reasonable fee for copies of or providing +access to or distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works provided +that + +- You pay a royalty fee of 20% of the gross profits you derive from + the use of Project Gutenberg-tm works calculated using the method + you already use to calculate your applicable taxes. The fee is + owed to the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark, but he + has agreed to donate royalties under this paragraph to the + Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation. Royalty payments + must be paid within 60 days following each date on which you + prepare (or are legally required to prepare) your periodic tax + returns. Royalty payments should be clearly marked as such and + sent to the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation at the + address specified in Section 4, "Information about donations to + the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation." + +- You provide a full refund of any money paid by a user who notifies + you in writing (or by e-mail) within 30 days of receipt that s/he + does not agree to the terms of the full Project Gutenberg-tm + License. You must require such a user to return or + destroy all copies of the works possessed in a physical medium + and discontinue all use of and all access to other copies of + Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +- You provide, in accordance with paragraph 1.F.3, a full refund of any + money paid for a work or a replacement copy, if a defect in the + electronic work is discovered and reported to you within 90 days + of receipt of the work. + +- You comply with all other terms of this agreement for free + distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm works. + +1.E.9. If you wish to charge a fee or distribute a Project Gutenberg-tm +electronic work or group of works on different terms than are set +forth in this agreement, you must obtain permission in writing from +both the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation and Michael +Hart, the owner of the Project Gutenberg-tm trademark. Contact the +Foundation as set forth in Section 3 below. + +1.F. + +1.F.1. Project Gutenberg volunteers and employees expend considerable +effort to identify, do copyright research on, transcribe and proofread +public domain works in creating the Project Gutenberg-tm +collection. Despite these efforts, Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works, and the medium on which they may be stored, may contain +"Defects," such as, but not limited to, incomplete, inaccurate or +corrupt data, transcription errors, a copyright or other intellectual +property infringement, a defective or damaged disk or other medium, a +computer virus, or computer codes that damage or cannot be read by +your equipment. + +1.F.2. LIMITED WARRANTY, DISCLAIMER OF DAMAGES - Except for the "Right +of Replacement or Refund" described in paragraph 1.F.3, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation, the owner of the Project +Gutenberg-tm trademark, and any other party distributing a Project +Gutenberg-tm electronic work under this agreement, disclaim all +liability to you for damages, costs and expenses, including legal +fees. YOU AGREE THAT YOU HAVE NO REMEDIES FOR NEGLIGENCE, STRICT +LIABILITY, BREACH OF WARRANTY OR BREACH OF CONTRACT EXCEPT THOSE +PROVIDED IN PARAGRAPH F3. YOU AGREE THAT THE FOUNDATION, THE +TRADEMARK OWNER, AND ANY DISTRIBUTOR UNDER THIS AGREEMENT WILL NOT BE +LIABLE TO YOU FOR ACTUAL, DIRECT, INDIRECT, CONSEQUENTIAL, PUNITIVE OR +INCIDENTAL DAMAGES EVEN IF YOU GIVE NOTICE OF THE POSSIBILITY OF SUCH +DAMAGE. + +1.F.3. LIMITED RIGHT OF REPLACEMENT OR REFUND - If you discover a +defect in this electronic work within 90 days of receiving it, you can +receive a refund of the money (if any) you paid for it by sending a +written explanation to the person you received the work from. If you +received the work on a physical medium, you must return the medium with +your written explanation. The person or entity that provided you with +the defective work may elect to provide a replacement copy in lieu of a +refund. If you received the work electronically, the person or entity +providing it to you may choose to give you a second opportunity to +receive the work electronically in lieu of a refund. If the second copy +is also defective, you may demand a refund in writing without further +opportunities to fix the problem. + +1.F.4. Except for the limited right of replacement or refund set forth +in paragraph 1.F.3, this work is provided to you 'AS-IS', WITH NO OTHER +WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO +WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTIBILITY OR FITNESS FOR ANY PURPOSE. + +1.F.5. Some states do not allow disclaimers of certain implied +warranties or the exclusion or limitation of certain types of damages. +If any disclaimer or limitation set forth in this agreement violates the +law of the state applicable to this agreement, the agreement shall be +interpreted to make the maximum disclaimer or limitation permitted by +the applicable state law. The invalidity or unenforceability of any +provision of this agreement shall not void the remaining provisions. + +1.F.6. INDEMNITY - You agree to indemnify and hold the Foundation, the +trademark owner, any agent or employee of the Foundation, anyone +providing copies of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works in accordance +with this agreement, and any volunteers associated with the production, +promotion and distribution of Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works, +harmless from all liability, costs and expenses, including legal fees, +that arise directly or indirectly from any of the following which you do +or cause to occur: (a) distribution of this or any Project Gutenberg-tm +work, (b) alteration, modification, or additions or deletions to any +Project Gutenberg-tm work, and (c) any Defect you cause. + + +Section 2. Information about the Mission of Project Gutenberg-tm + +Project Gutenberg-tm is synonymous with the free distribution of +electronic works in formats readable by the widest variety of computers +including obsolete, old, middle-aged and new computers. It exists +because of the efforts of hundreds of volunteers and donations from +people in all walks of life. + +Volunteers and financial support to provide volunteers with the +assistance they need, is critical to reaching Project Gutenberg-tm's +goals and ensuring that the Project Gutenberg-tm collection will +remain freely available for generations to come. In 2001, the Project +Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation was created to provide a secure +and permanent future for Project Gutenberg-tm and future generations. +To learn more about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation +and how your efforts and donations can help, see Sections 3 and 4 +and the Foundation web page at https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/pglaf. + + +Section 3. Information about the Project Gutenberg Literary Archive +Foundation + +The Project Gutenberg Literary Archive Foundation is a non profit +501(c)(3) educational corporation organized under the laws of the +state of Mississippi and granted tax exempt status by the Internal +Revenue Service. The Foundation's EIN or federal tax identification +number is 64-6221541. Contributions to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation are tax deductible to the full extent +permitted by U.S. federal laws and your state's laws. + +The Foundation's principal office is located at 4557 Melan Dr. S. +Fairbanks, AK, 99712., but its volunteers and employees are scattered +throughout numerous locations. Its business office is located at +809 North 1500 West, Salt Lake City, UT 84116, (801) 596-1887, email +business@pglaf.org. Email contact links and up to date contact +information can be found at the Foundation's web site and official +page at https://www.gutenberg.org/about/contact + +For additional contact information: + Dr. Gregory B. Newby + Chief Executive and Director + gbnewby@pglaf.org + +Section 4. Information about Donations to the Project Gutenberg +Literary Archive Foundation + +Project Gutenberg-tm depends upon and cannot survive without wide +spread public support and donations to carry out its mission of +increasing the number of public domain and licensed works that can be +freely distributed in machine readable form accessible by the widest +array of equipment including outdated equipment. Many small donations +($1 to $5,000) are particularly important to maintaining tax exempt +status with the IRS. + +The Foundation is committed to complying with the laws regulating +charities and charitable donations in all 50 states of the United +States. Compliance requirements are not uniform and it takes a +considerable effort, much paperwork and many fees to meet and keep up +with these requirements. We do not solicit donations in locations +where we have not received written confirmation of compliance. To +SEND DONATIONS or determine the status of compliance for any +particular state visit https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + +While we cannot and do not solicit contributions from states where we +have not met the solicitation requirements, we know of no prohibition +against accepting unsolicited donations from donors in such states who +approach us with offers to donate. + +International donations are gratefully accepted, but we cannot make +any statements concerning tax treatment of donations received from +outside the United States. U.S. laws alone swamp our small staff. + +Please check the Project Gutenberg Web pages for current donation +methods and addresses. Donations are accepted in a number of other +ways including including checks, online payments and credit card +donations. To donate, please visit: +https://www.gutenberg.org/fundraising/donate + + +Section 5. General Information About Project Gutenberg-tm electronic +works. + +Professor Michael S. Hart was the originator of the Project Gutenberg-tm +concept of a library of electronic works that could be freely shared +with anyone. For thirty years, he produced and distributed Project +Gutenberg-tm eBooks with only a loose network of volunteer support. + +Project Gutenberg-tm eBooks are often created from several printed +editions, all of which are confirmed as Public Domain in the U.S. +unless a copyright notice is included. Thus, we do not necessarily +keep eBooks in compliance with any particular paper edition. + +Most people start at our Web site which has the main PG search facility: + + https://www.gutenberg.org + +This Web site includes information about Project Gutenberg-tm, +including how to make donations to the Project Gutenberg Literary +Archive Foundation, how to help produce our new eBooks, and how to +subscribe to our email newsletter to hear about new eBooks. + diff --git a/old/13649.zip b/old/13649.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9f74da4 --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13649.zip |
