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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/13238-0.txt b/13238-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..689d0df --- /dev/null +++ b/13238-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6256 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13238 *** + + Six Women + + + By + VICTORIA CROSS + + + NEW YORK + MITCHELL KENNERLEY + + + * * * * * + + _BY VICTORIA CROSS_ + + LIFE'S SHOP WINDOW + ANNA LOMBARD + SIX WOMEN + SIX CHAPTERS OF A MAN'S LIFE + THE WOMAN WHO DIDN'T + TO-MORROW? + PAULA + A GIRL OF THE KLONDIKE + THE RELIGION OF EVELYN HASTINGS + LIFE OF MY HEART + + * * * * * + + + DEDICATED TO + H.M.G. AND E.F.C. + AND OUR MEMORIES OF THE EAST. + + + + +SIX WOMEN + + + +I + +CHAPTER I + + +Listless and despondent, feeling that he hated everything in life, +Hamilton walked slowly down the street. The air was heavy, and the +sun beat down furiously on the yellow cotton awnings stretched over +his head. Clouds of dust rose in the roadway as the white bullocks +shuffled along, drawing their creaking wooden carts, and swarms of +flies buzzed noisily in the yellow, dusty sunshine. Hamilton went +on aimlessly; he was hot, he was tired, his eyes and head ached, he +was thirsty; but all these disagreeable sensations were nothing +beside the intense mental nausea that filled him, a nausea of life. +It rose up in and pervaded him, uncontrollable as a physical +malady. In vain he called upon his philosophy; he had practised it +so long that it was worn out. Like an old mantle from the +shoulders, it fell from him in rags, and he was glad. He felt he +hated his philosophy only less than he hated life--hated, yet +desired as the man hates a mistress he covets, and has never yet +possessed. "Never had anything, never done anything, never felt +anything decent yet," he mused. + +He was an exceptionally handsome and attractive individual, and +though in reality forty years of age, he had the figure, the look, +and air of twenty-eight. Masses of black hair, without a white +thread, waved above a beautifully-cut and modelled face, of which +the clear bronze skin, with its warm colour in the cheeks, was not +the least striking feature. He was about six feet or a little over +in height, and had a wonderfully lithe, well-knit figure, and a +carriage full of grace and dignity. A bright, charming smile that +came easily to his face, and an air of absolute unconsciousness of +his own good looks, completed the armoury of weapons Venus had +endowed him with for breaking hearts. But Hamilton neglected his +vocation: he broke none. He got up early, and slaved away at his +duties for the Indian Civil Government in his office all day, and +went to bed dead tired at night, with nothing but a dreary +consciousness of duty done and more duty waiting for him the +following day, as a sleeping companion. + +Hamilton's life had been ruined by an early and an unsuccessful +marriage. At twenty, when full of the early, divine fires of life, +he had married a girl of his own age and rank, dazzled by the +beauty she then, in his eyes, possessed, and in that amazing +blindness to character that make women view men with wondering +contempt. His blindness, however, ended with the ceremony. On his +wedding-night the woman, who, it must be admitted, had acted her +part of loving submissiveness, of gentle devotion, admirably, +mocked at him and his genuine, ardent passion. + +How well he had always remembered her words to him as they stood +face to face in the chilly whiteness of an English bridal chamber +in midwinter! "It's no use, dear, I don't want any of this sort of +thing. It seems to me coarse and stupid, and I don't want the +bother of a dozen babies. I married because I wanted the position +of a married woman, and a nice presentable man to go about with in +society. Besides, things were not satisfactory at home, and I +wanted a man to keep me, and all that. But I don't see why you +should get into such a state of mind about it. I will keep house, +and be perfectly good and amiable, and we can go about together, of +course; only I want to keep my own room." + +And how well he remembered her as she stood there, shattering his +life with her cold, light words--a tall, slim girl, in her white +dinner dress! She had been very fair then, with a quantity of soft +flaxen hair, which shortly after she had taken to dyeing--a thing +he had always hated. She had a small, heart-shaped face, so light +in colour as to suggest anæmia, with a high, thin nose, of which +the nostrils were excessively pinched together, a short upper lip, +and a thick, quite colourless mouth, small when closed, when she +laughed opening wide far back to her throat, showing, as it seemed, +an infinite quantity of long, narrow, white, wolf-like teeth. + +How hideous she had suddenly appeared to him in those moments, seen +through the dark waves of passion she rolled back upon him! In the +hot, rosy glow she had deliberately conjured up before his eyes of +love and love returned he had thought her beautiful. Now, as she +took the veil from her mean, base mind, it fell also from her +beauty, and he saw her ugly, as she really was, body and soul. +Stunned and amazed, loathing his own folly, his own blindness, +condemning these more than he did her cruelty, Hamilton had +listened in silence while she revealed herself. When the first +shock was over, he had set himself to talk and reason with her. +Naturally intensely kind and sympathetic, it was easy for him to +see another's view, to put himself in another's place. He blamed +himself at once, more than her, for the position he now found +himself in. And patiently he tried to understand it, to find the +clue, if possible, to remedy it. He reasoned long and gently with +her, but she, knowing well the generous nature she had to deal +with, yielded not an inch. Hamilton was not the man to use force or +violence. The passions of the body, divested of their soul, were +nothing to him. On that night she struck down within him all desire +for or interest in her. He left her at last, and withdrew to +another room, where he sat through the remaining hours of the +night, looking into the face of his future. + +Shortly after, he had left for India, the corpse of dead passion +within his breast. He made a confident of no one, told no one of +his secret burden, remitted half his pay regularly to his wife with +that obedience to custom and duty as the world sees it, with that +quiet dutifulness that is so astounding to the onlooker, but +characteristic of so many Englishmen, and threw himself into his +work, avoiding women and personal relations with them. + +Such a life as this invariably calls down the anger of Venus, and +Hamilton had worn out by now the patience of the goddess. + +The tragedy of Euripides' Hippolytus is called a myth, but that +same tragedy is played out over and over again, year by year, in +all time, and is as true now as it was then. The slighted goddess +takes her revenge at last. As he walked on, the sound of some +tom-toms dulled by distance came to his ears. He hesitated at a +crossing where a side alley led down towards the bazaar, then +without thought or intention walked down the turning, the music +growing louder as he advanced. + +It came from a house some way lower down, before the open door of +which hung a large white sheet with scarlet letters on it. Hamilton +glanced up and read on it, "Dancing girls from the Deccan. +Admission, six annas. Walk in." He stared dully at it till the red +letters danced in the fierce, torrid sunlight, and the flies, +finding him standing motionless, came thickly round his face. A +puff of hot wind blew down the street, bringing the dust: it lifted +a corner of the sheet and turned it back from the doorway. Within +looked cool and dark. The entry was a square of darkness. He was +tired of the sun, the heat, the noise, the dust and the flies. With +no thought other than seeking for shelter, he stepped behind the +sheet and was in the darkness; a turnstile barred his way: on the +top of it he laid down his six annas, his eyes too full of the +yellow glare of the outside to see whom he paid: he felt the +turnstile yield, and stumbled on in the obscurity. A hand pushed +him between two curtains. Then he found himself in a low square +room, and could see about him again by the subdued light of oil +lamps fixed against the wall. At one end was the small stage, its +scarlet curtain now down; in front a row of tin lamps, primitive +footlights, and the rest of the room was filled with rows of empty +chairs. Mechanically and without interest, Hamilton went forward +and seated himself in the first of these rows. The tom-toms had +ceased: there was quiet, an interval of rest presumably for the +dancers. It was far cooler than outside, and Hamilton breathed a +sigh of relief as he sank into his seat. The dimness of the light, +the quiet, the coolness all pleased him: he had not known till he +sat down how tired he was. He might have sat there a quarter of an +hour, his mind in that state of hopeless blank that supervenes on +overmuch unsatisfactory thinking, when suddenly the tom-toms +started up again with a terrific rattle, and the scarlet curtain +was somewhat spasmodically jerked up, displaying a semicircle of +girls seated on European chairs facing the tin lamps. Two of the +seven were African girls, with the woolly hair and jet black skin +of their race; they were seated one at each end of the semicircle, +dressed in short scarlet skirts, standing out from their waist in +English ballet-girl fashion, the upper part of their bodies bare, +except for the masses of coloured glass necklaces covering their +breast from throat to waist. The next pair of girls seemed to +represent Spanish dancers, and were in ankle-long black and yellow +dresses, little yellow caps with bells depending from them sat in +amongst their masses of black hair, and they held languidly to +their sides their tambourines and castenets. Next on the chairs sat +two strictly Eastern dancers in transparent pale green gauzy +clothing held into waist and each ankle by jeweled bands. Their +pale ivory bodies shone through the filmy green muslin as the moon +shines clearly in green water, and the jewels blazed like stars +with red and blue fires at each movement of their limbs. Their +heads were crowned simply with white clematis, and the glory of +their straight-featured Circassian faces, together with the +unrivalled contours of softly moulded throat and breast and perfect +limbs, veiled only so much as a light mist may veil, would have +taken the breath away of the most inveterate frequenter of the +Alhambra and Empire in dull old England. Hamilton drew in his +breath with a little start as he first saw the semicircle, but it +was not on the Circassians that his eyes were fixed, but on the +very centre figure of that beautiful half-moon. Set in the centre, +she seemed to be considered the pearl amongst them, as indeed she +was. The mist that enveloped her was not pale green as the veils of +the other two, but white, and the beautiful perfect form that it +enclosed was of a warmer, brighter tint than theirs. + +The white films of the drapery fell from the base of her throat, +leaving her arms quite bare, but softly clinging to breast and +flanks, till a gold band resting on her hips confined it closely, +and depressed in the centre, was fastened by a single enormous +ruby, the one spot of blood-red colour upon her. Beneath the +sloping belt of gold fell her loose Turkish trousers of gleaming +white, transparent tissue, clasped at the ankles by bands of gold. +On her feet were little Turkish slippers, on her brow--nothing, but +the crown of her radiant youth and beauty. Hamilton, gazing at it +across the footlights, thought he had never seen, either pictured +or in the flesh, a face so beautiful, so full of the beauty, the +goodness, the power and wonder of life. + +The sight thrilled him. Like the power of electricity, its power +began to run along his veins, heating them, stirring them, calling +upon nerve and muscle and sense to wake up. He looked, and life +itself seemed to stream into him through his eyes. The girl's face +was a well-rounded oval, supported on the round, perfect column of +her throat; the eyes seemed pools of blackness that had caught all +the splendour and the radiance of a thousand Eastern nights. The +fires of many stars, the whole brilliance of the purple nights of +Asia were mirrored in them. Above them rose the dark, arching span +of the eyebrows on the soft warm-tinted forehead, cut in one line +of severest beauty with the delicate nose. Beneath, the curling +lips were like the flowers of the pomegranate, a living, vivid +scarlet, and the rounded chin had the contour and bloom of the +nectarine. + +She smiled faintly as she met the fixed gaze of Hamilton's eyes +across the footlights--such an innocent, merry little smile it +seemed, not the mechanical contortions one buys with pieces of +silver. Hamilton's blood seemed to catch light at it and flame all +over his body. He sat upright in his seat: gone were his fatigue, +his thirst, his eye-ache. His frame felt no more discomfort: his +whole soul rushed to his eyes, and sat there watching. In some men +their physical constitution is so closely knitted to the mental, +that the slightest shock to either instantly vibrates through the +other and works its effect equally on both. Hamilton was of this +order, and his body responded, instantly now, to the joy and +interest born suddenly in his mind. + +A moment after the curtain was rolled up, a huge negro, dressed in +a fancy dress of scarlet, and with a high cap of the same colour on +his head, came on from the side. In his hand he carried a small +dog-whip, and as he cracked it all the girls stood up. Hamilton +sickened as he looked at him: an indefinable feeling of horror came +over him as this man stalked about the stage. He pointed with his +whip to the two African girls at the end of the semicircle, and +they came forward, while the rest sat down. A horrid uneasy feeling +of discomfort grew up in Hamilton, similar to that which a lover of +animals feels, when called upon to witness performing dogs, and all +the fear and anxiety pent up in their fast-beating little hearts is +communicated to himself. He watched the girls' faces keenly as the +negro went round and placed himself behind the middle chair of the +semicircle, while the two Africans danced. Hamilton hardly noticed +their dance, a curious barbaric performance that would have been +alarming to the British matron, but was neither new nor interesting +to Hamilton. He kept his eyes fixed on the white-clothed girl in +the centre, and the sinister figure behind her chair. She seemed +calm and indifferent, and when the negro put his hand on her +shoulder looked up and listened to his words without fear or +repulsion. Hamilton, keenly alive, with every sense alert, sat in +his chair, a prey to the new and delightful feeling, not known for +years, of interest. + +Yes, he was interested, and the energetic sense of loathing for +the negro proved it. The music, loud and strident--an ordinary +Italian piano-organ having been introduced amongst the Oriental +instruments--banged on, and then abruptly came to a stop when the +negro cracked his whip. The two African women resumed their chairs, +there was some applause, and a good many small coins fell on the +stage from the hands of the audience. The second pair of girls +rose, came forward and commenced to dance, the organ playing some +appropriate Spanish airs. After these, the two Indian girls who +gave the usual _dance de ventre_ to a lively Italian air on the +organ. Then, at last, _she_ rose from her chair and approached the +footlights. The organ ceased playing, only the Indian music +continued: wild sensual music, imitating at intervals the cries of +passion. + +To this accompaniment the girl danced. + +Had any British matrons been present we must hope they would have +walked out, yet, to the eye of the artist, there was nothing coarse +or offending, simply a most beautiful harmony of motion. The girl's +beauty, her grace and youth, and the slight lissomness of all her +body lent to the dance a poetry, a refinement it would not have +possessed with another exponent. + +Moreover, though there was a certain ardour in her looks and +gestures, in the way she yielded her limbs and body to the +influence of the music, yet there was also a gay innocence, a +bright naïve irresponsibility in it that contrasted strongly with +the sinister intention underlying all the movements of the other +two Indian dancers. At the end of the dance Hamilton took a rupee +from his pocket and threw it across the tin lamps towards her feet. +She picked it up smiling, though she left the other coins which +fell on the stage untouched, and went back to her chair. + +After her dance, the great negro came forward and did a turn of his +own. Hamilton looked away. What was this man to the little circle? +he wondered. He could not keep his mind off that one query? Were +they his slaves? willing or unwilling? did they constitute his +harem? or were they paid, independent workers? His mind was made up +to get speech with this one girl, at least, that evening. This +delightful feeling of interest, this pleasure, even this keen +disgust, all were so welcome to him in the dreary mental state of +indifference that had become his habit, that he welcomed them +eagerly, and could not let them go. Beyond this there was rising +within him, suddenly and overwhelmingly, the force of Life, +indignant at the long repression it had been subjected to. Man may +be a civilized being, accustomed to the artificial restraints and +laws he has laid upon himself, but there remains within him still +that primitive nature that knows nothing, and never will learn +anything of those laws, and which leaps up suddenly after years of +its prison-life in overpowering revolt, and says, "Joy is my +birthright. I will have it!" + +This moment is the crisis of most lives. It was with Hamilton now, +and it seemed suddenly to him that twenty years of fidelity to an +unloved, unloving woman was enough. The debt contracted at the +altar twenty years before had been paid off. The promise, given +under a misunderstanding to one who had wilfully deceived him, was +wiped out. It was a marvel to him in those moments how it had held +him so long. + +Hamilton had one of those keen, brilliant minds that make their +decisions quickly, and rarely regret them. He took his resolution +now. That prisoner in revolt within him should be free; he would +strike off the fetters he had worn too long and vainly. He was +before the open book of Life, at that page where he had stood so +long. With a firm decisive hand he would take the new page, and +turn it over. That last page, on which his wife's name was written +large, was completely done with, closed. + +The old joyous spirit, the keen eagerness for love and joy and +life, the Pagan's gay rejoicing in it, that had been such a marked +feature of his disposition before his marriage, came back to him, +rushed through him, refilled him. + +His marriage, with its disillusionment, had crushed it out of him +for a time, and, with that same decisiveness that marked him now, +he had turned over the pages of youthful dreams and joys and loves, +and opened the next page of work, of strenuous endeavour, of a +hard, rigid observance of fidelity to the vows he had taken. And +for a time work and its rewards, effort and its returns, a hard, +practical life in the world amongst men, had held him. That now +was no longer to be all to him. + +His life, and such joy as it might hold for him, was to be his own +again. The joy of the decisions filled him, elated him. He felt as +if his mind had sudden wings, and could lift him with it to the +roof. + +Such a decision, when it comes, seems to oneself, as it seemed to +Hamilton now, a sudden thing. It has the force and shock of a +revelation, but it is not really sudden. The great rebellion nearly +all natures--certainly some, and these usually the greatest and +best--feel at the absence of joy in their lives had been gradually +growing within him, gathering a little strength each day. It is +only the climax of such feelings that is sudden--the awakening of +the mind to their presence. The growth has been going on day by +day, week by week, unmeasured, unreckoned with. + +Immediately the curtain fell, Hamilton left his seat and went +up to a door, reached by a few steps, on the level of the +footlights, and at the left side of them. No one hindered him. +The rest of the audience were going out. He pushed the door, +which yielded readily, and he passed through. A narrow, +white-washed, lath-and-plaster passage opened before him, at the +end of which he saw a tin lamp burning against the wall and heard +voices. + +The passage led into a three-cornered room, where he found some of +the dancers and an old woman who was huddled up on a straw mat in +the corner. The negro was not there. The girls stood about idly; +some were changing their clothes. They did not seem to heed his +presence, except the one he was seeking, who came straight towards +him. As she moved across the dirty, littered room, her limbs under +their transparent covering moved, and her head was carried with the +air of an empress. "Will the Sahib come with me?" she said in a +low, soft tone. She raised her eyes to his face. They were wide, +enquiring, like the deer's brought face to face with the hunter in +the green thickets. + +The other girls glanced towards him, and some smiles were +exchanged, but no one approached him. They seemed to understand he +was there only for the star of the troupe. Hamilton looked down +into those glorious midnight eyes fixed upon him, and a faint +colour came into his cheek. + +"I will come wherever you lead," he answered in Hindustani. These +surroundings were horrible, but the shade of them did not seem to +dim her charm. + +The scent in the air was disagreeable. Tawdry spangles and false +jewels lay about on the tumble-down settees. From behind little +doors that opened from the walls round came the sound of men's +voices. + +"Let the Sahib come this way, then," she answered, and turned +towards one of the small doors in the wall. This took them into +another tiny, musty-smelling passage that wound about like the run +of a rabbit warren, only wide enough for one to pass along at a +time, and the strips of lath were so low overhead that Hamilton +bent his neck involuntarily to avoid them. + +At a door in the side of this she stopped and pushed it open; the +little run way wound on beyond in the darkness. + +Hamilton followed her into the sloping-roofed, lath-and-plaster +pent-house that had been run up between the back of the stage and +the wall of the building. Native lamps were hooked into the wall, +and their light showed the garish ugliness of it all--the hastily +whitewashed walls, the scraps of ragged, dirty, scarlet cloth hung +here and there over a bulge or stain in the plaster: the boarded +floor, uneven and cracked: the bed against the wall, not too clean +looking, its dingy curtains not quite concealing the dingier +pillows; the broken chair on which a basin stood, placed on two +grey-looking towels; another chair with the back rails knocked out +leaning against the wall. + +He threw his gaze round it in a moment's rapid survey, then he +pressed to the rickety, uneven door and shot the bolt. + +The girl stood in the middle of the room, an exquisitely lovely +figure. She regarded him with wide, innocent eyes. Hamilton felt +all the blood alight in his veins; it seemed to him he could hear +his pulses beating. Never in his life before had joy and passion +met within him to stir him as they did now, but in natures where +there is a strong, deep strain of intellectuality the body never +quite conquers the mind, the light of the intellect never quite +goes down, however strong the sea, however high the waves of +animal passion on which it rides; and now Hamilton felt the great +appeal to his brain as well as to his senses that the girl's beauty +made. + +He went up to her. She looked at him with an intense admiration, +almost worship in her eyes. A man at such moments looks, as Nature +intended he should, his very best, and Hamilton's face, of a noble +and splendid type, lighted now by the keenest animation, held her +gaze. + +"Tell me," he said in a low tone, for footsteps passed on the +creaking boards, and gibbering voices and laughter could be heard +outside, "tell me, what is that man to you? Do you belong to him, +all of you?" + +"That...? He is not a man, he is a ... nothing," replied the girl, +looking up with calm, glorious eyes. "He can do no harm ... nor +good." + +Hamilton drew a quick breath. + +"You dance like this every evening, and then choose someone in the +audience in this way?" he questioned, slipping his hand round her +neck and looking down at her, a half-amused sadness coming into his +eyes. + +The girl shook her head with a quick negation. + +"No, I have only been here a few days--a week, I think. Did you +notice that old woman as we came through here? I belong to her; she +taught me to dance. She brought me here, and I dance for the +Nothing, but I have never taken any one like this before. The other +girls do, every night, but each night the Nothing said to me, 'No +one here to-night, good enough. Wait till an English Sahib comes.'" + +Hamilton listened with a paling cheek; his breath came and went +faintly; he hardly seemed to draw it; he put his next question very +gently, watching her open brow and proud, fearless eyes. + +"Do you know nothing of men at all, then?" + +"Nothing, Sahib, nothing," she answered, falling on her knees +suddenly at his feet, and raising her hands towards him. "This will +be my bridal night with the Sahib. The Nothing told me to please +you, to do all you told me. What shall I do? how shall I please +you?" + +Hamilton looked down upon her: his brain seemed whirling; the +pulses along his veins beat heavily; new worlds, new vistas of life +seemed opening before him as he looked at her, so beautiful in her +first youth, in her unclouded innocence, full, it is true, of +Oriental passion, with a certain Oriental absence of shame, but +untouched, able to be his, and his only. + +Before he could speak again, or collect his thoughts that the +girl's words had scattered, her soft voice went on: + +"Surely the Sahib is a god, not a man. I have seen the men across +the footlights: there were none like the Sahib. I said to my +mother, 'I do not like men, I do not want them; what shall I do?' +And my mother said, 'There is no hurry, my child; we will wait till +a rich Sahib comes.' But you are not a man, you must be a god, you +are so beautiful; and I am the slave of the Sahib, for ever and +ever." + +She looked up at him, great lights seemed to have been lighted in +the midnight pools of her eyes, the curved lips parted a little, +showing the perfect, even teeth; the rounded, warm-hued cheeks +glowed; the lids of her eyes lifted as those of a person looking +out into a new world. + +Hamilton stood looking at her, and two great seas of conflicting +emotions swept into his brain, and under their tumult he remained +irresolute. Mere instincts and nature, the common impulse of the +male to take his pleasure whenever offered, prompted him to draw +her to his breast and let her learn the great joy of life in his +arms; but some higher feeling held him back: the knowledge that the +first way in which a woman learns these things colours her whole +after estimation of them, restrained him. + +Here he saw, suddenly, there was new ground for Love to build +himself a habitation upon. Should it be but a rude shanty, loosely +constructed of Desire? Was it not rather such a fair and lovely +site that it was worthy a perfect temple, built and finished with +delicate care? + +This flower of wonderful bloom he had found by chance in such a +poor, rough garden, was it not better to carry it gently to some +sheltered spot, to transplant and keep it for his own, rather than +just tear at it with a careless touch in passing by? + +Hamilton had the brain of the artist and the poet; things touched +him less by their reality than by that strange halo imagination +throws round them. + +The sound of some shuffling steps in the passage outside, a lurch +as of some drunken and unsteady figure, some whispered words, and +then a burst of ribald laughter just outside the door, decided him. +No: her wedding night should not be here. Keen in his sympathy with +women, Hamilton knew how often that night recurs to a woman's +thoughts, and should its memories always bring back to her this +loathsome shed, these hideous sounds? + +A repulsion so great filled him that it swept back his desire for +the moment. A great eagerness to get her away unharmed, unsoiled +from such a place, filled him. Already she seemed to be part of +himself, to be a possession he must guard. His heart was empty and +hungry: by means of her beauty and this strange unexpected +innocence she had so suddenly revealed to him, she had leapt into +it, made it her own. He sat down on the mean, dingy bed, and drew +her warm, supple body into his arms: she stood within their circle +submissively, quivering with pleasure. His touch was very gentle +and reverent, for he was a man who knew the value of essentials; +his brain was keen enough to go down to them and judge of them, +undeterred and unhindered and undeceived by externals, by +fictitious emblems. He saw here that he was in the presence of a +tender, youthful, unformed mind of complete innocence, and the +abhorrent surroundings affected that essential not at all. + +A married woman in his own rank, with her dozen lovers and her +knowledge of evil, high in the favour of the world, could never +have had from him the same reverence that he gave to this +dancing-girl of the Deccan, who in the world's eyes was but a +creature put under his feet for him to trample on. + +"Would you like to leave all these people and come to live only +with me? dance only for me?" he said softly, looking into those +great wondering eyes fixed in awe upon his face. + +"Would you like to have a house to yourself, and a garden full of +flowers, and stay there with me alone?" + +The girl clasped her hands joyously, smile after smile rippled +over the brilliant face. + +"Oh, Sahib, it would be paradise! If I can stay with the Sahib, I +shall be happy anywhere. I am the slave of the Sahib. If he but use +me as the mat before his door to walk upon, I shall be content." + +Hamilton shivered. He drew her a little closer. "Hush! I do not +like to hear you say those things. You shall come to me and sleep +in my arms, but not to-night. Love is a very great thing: it will +be a great thing with us, and it must not be thought of lightly, do +you see? Will you stay here and think of me only till I come again? +Think of your bridal night with me, dream of me till I come back +for you?" + +"The Sahib's will is my law; but even if I wished, I could think of +nothing else but him till I see him again," she responded, her eyes +fixed upon his face. Hamilton gazed upon her. She made such a +lovely picture standing there: he thought he had never seen beauty +so perfect, so exquisitely fresh. The soft transparent tunic did +not conceal it, only lightly veiled its bloom. Her breasts, rounded +and firm, stood out as a statue's. They seemed to express the +vigour of her buoyant youth: they had never known artificial +support, and needed none. The waist was naturally slight, the hips +also, the straight supple limbs and round arms were the most +richly-modelled parts, perhaps, of the whole perfect form. + +Hamilton slipped his arm down to her yielding waist and drew her +closer. Then he bent his head and kissed the wonderfully-carved and +glowing mouth. With a little cry of joy the girl threw both arms +about his neck and kissed him back with a wealth of fervour in her +lips, pressing her soft bosom against his in all the natural, +unrestrained ardour of a first and new-found love. + +"Sahib, Sahib! do not leave me long. Come and take me away soon! I +am all yours! No other shall see me till you come again." + +Hamilton was satisfied. He raised his head, his whole ardent nature +aflame. + +"Dear little girl, let us go then to the old woman, and perhaps I +can pay her enough to make her take you away from here, and keep +you safe till I can come for you." + +"Come, Sahib, come!" she answered, joyfully drawing out of his +arms and running across the room; she unbolted the door and pulled +it open, nearly causing the old woman who was crouched just +outside, and apparently leaning against it, to roll into the room. + +"Saidie, Saidie! you have no respect for me," she grumbled, getting +on her feet with some difficulty. Hamilton came up, and helped to +balance her as she stood. + +"Your Saidie pleases me very much," he said, drawing out a +pocket-book. "I want to take her away from here altogether. How +much do you ask for her?" + +The old woman's beady-black eyes twinkled and gleamed, and fixed on +the pocket-book. + +"It is not possible, Sahib," she said in a grumbling tone, "for me +to part with her and her services. A girl like that with her +beauty, her dancing, her singing! She will earn gold every night. +Let the Sahib come here each evening if he will and take his turn +with the rest. For a girl like that to go to one man alone is waste +and folly." + +The colour mounted to Hamilton's face. His brows contracted. + +"What I have to say is this," he answered sternly and briefly, "I +want this girl, and if you take her with you to some place of +safety for to-night, I will come to-morrow or the next day and give +you 2000 rupees for her--no more and no less. I have spoken." + +"Two thousand rupees!" replied shrilly the old woman, "for Saidie, +the star of the dancers, and not yet fifteen! No, Sahib, no! a +Parsee will give more than that for a half hour with her." + +Hamilton caught the old creature by her skinny arm: + +"You waste your words talking to me," he said. "I am a police +magistrate, and I can have your whole place here closed, and all of +you put in prison, if I choose. The girl is willing to come with +me, and I will take her and pay you well for her. You have her +ready for me to-morrow night, or you go to prison--which you +please." The old woman shivered at the word magistrate, and fell +trembling on her knees. + +"Let the Sahib have mercy! That great black brute will kill me if +the police come here. I take Saidie to my house, the Sahib comes +there when he will. He pays, he has her. It is all finished." + +She spread out her thin black hands in a shaking gesture of +finality, and then fell forward and kissed Hamilton's boots after +the complimentary but embarrassing manner of natives. Hamilton drew +back a little. He was angered that Saidie should be witness, +auditor of all this. She stood silent, passive, gazing at the hot, +angry colour mounting to his face. He bent forward and dragged the +old woman up by her arms. + +"Take this for yourself now," he said, putting a hundred-rupee note +into her hand, "and make no more difficulty. Take every care of +Saidie, and you will have your two thousand rupees very shortly." + +The old woman seized the note, and began to mumble blessings on +Hamilton, which he cut short: "Give me the name of your street and +the house where you live, that I may find you easily," he said, and +noted down the directions she gave him. Then he turned to the girl +and put his arm round her neck. + +"Dear Saidie! I trust to you. Remember it is your innocence, your +virtue, I love more than your beauty. Do not dance nor let anyone +see you till I come again." + +He kissed her on the lips as she promised him. The soft, warm form +thrilled against him as their lips met. Then with a mental wrench +he turned and went out of the room and quickly down the dark +passage. + +At the end his way was barred by the immense form of the negro. + +"Something for me, master; do not forget me! I keep the pretty +things here for the gentlemen to see." + +Hamilton drew back with loathing. Then he reflected--it was better, +perhaps, to keep all smooth. + +He dived into his pockets and found a roll of small notes, which he +pushed into the negro's hand. The man bowed and let him pass, and +Hamilton went on out into the street. + +It was evening now. The calm, lovely golden light of an Indian +evening fell all around him as he walked rapidly back to his +bungalow. As he entered it, how different he felt from the man who +had left it that morning! How light his footstep, how bright and +keen the tone of his voice! It quite surprised himself as he called +out to his butler that he was ready for dinner. Then he bounded up +to his room humming. His very muscles were of quite a different +texture seemingly now from an hour or two ago! How the blood flew +about joyously in his body! Dear Venus! she makes us pay generally, +but who can cavil at the glorious gifts she gives? As soon as his +dinner was disposed of, and all his other servants had retired from +the room, Hamilton called his butler, Pir Bakhs, to him, and held a +long conference with that intelligent and trustworthy individual. +Hamilton was one of those men that by reason of his strikingly good +looks, his charm of manner, his consideration for others, and his +complete control over himself that never allowed him to be betrayed +into an unjust word or action was greatly liked by every one, and +simply worshipped by his servants and all those in any way in a +position dependent on him. + +When to-night Pir Bakhs was honoured by his confidence, the +servant's whole will and all his keen energies rose with delight +to serve his master. After he had listened in silence to +Hamilton's wishes, he proceeded to make himself master of the whole +scheme, detail by detail. + +"The Sahib wishes a very beautiful bungalow far out, away from the +city? I know of one house across the desert; my cousin was butler +there. The Sahib went away to England, and the bungalow is to be +let furnished. Have I the Sahib's permission to go down to bazaar, +see my cousin to-night? I make all arrangements. I go to-morrow +morning; I get cook and all other servants. I stay there and make +all ready for the Sahib to-morrow evening." + +Hamilton smiled at the man's eagerness to serve him. He knew well +that secretly in his heart his Mahommedan butler had always +deplored the severely monastic style in which he had lived, the +absence of women in his master's bungalow, the emptiness of his +arms that should have had to bear his master's children, and that +he now was ready to welcome heartily his master's reformation. + +"Could you really do all that, Pir Bakhs?" he asked; "and can you +assure me that the house is a good one, and has the compound been +well kept up?" + +"The house is about the same as this, but not quite so large. It is +in the oasis of Deira, across the desert. The Sahib knows how well +the palms grow there. My cousin tells me the compound is very +large; the Sahib there kept four malis;[1] very fine garden, many +English roses there." + +[Footnote 1: Gardeners.] + +"English roses I do not care for, Pir Bakhs," returned Hamilton +with a melancholy smile. "The roses of the East are far fairer to +me." + +The butler bowed with his hand to his forehead. He took his +master's speech as a gracious compliment to his country. + +"Everything grow there," he answered, spreading out his hands: +"pomegranates, bamboo, mangoes, bananas, sago palm, cocoanut palm, +magnolia--everything. I go to-morrow, I engage malis; I have all +ready for the Sahib." + +"Very well, I trust you with it all. I shall keep on this house +just as it is, and leave most of the servants here. You and your +wives must come out with me, and you engage any other necessary +servants and hire any extra furniture you want." + +"The Sahib is very good to his servant," returned the butler, his +face lighting up joyfully. "When will the Sahib shed the light of +his countenance on the bungalow?" + +"I will try to run out to see it, to-morrow, after office hours," +replied Hamilton, "if you will have all ready by then. I shall look +over it, and return to dine here as usual. Then about ten or later, +I will come over and bring your new mistress out with me. You must +have a good supper waiting for us. Take over all the linen and +plate you may want, but see that enough is left in this house so +that I can entertain the English Sahibs here if I want to, and let +my riding camel be well fed early. I shall use him for coming and +going. That's all, I think." + +The butler bowed, and retired radiant with joyous importance, and +Hamilton sat on alone by the table thinking. The blood ran at high +tide along his veins, his eyes glowed, looking into space. Life, he +thought, what a joyous thing it was when it stretched out its hands +full of gifts! + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +The following afternoon, directly his work at the office was +finished, he went out to the oasis in the desert to look at his new +possession, his bungalow in the palms. + +The moment he saw it peeping out from amongst them, and surrounded +by roses, he expressed himself satisfied, and named the place +Saied-i-stan, or the place of happiness. + +The butler met him there; he was bursting with self-importance. + +"You leave everything to me, Sahib--everything. I know all the +Sahib wants. He shall have all. Let him come, ten o'clock, nine +o'clock, no matter when; all quite ready. I am here. I have +everything waiting for the Sahib." + +Hamilton smiled and praised him, and went back to the station; took +a pretence of dinner and a hurried cup of coffee, and then went +down into the bazaar with the precious bit of paper containing the +directions to Saidie's dwelling-place in his breast pocket. + +He found the house at last, and, going in at the doorless +entrance, climbed patiently the wooden stairs that ran straight up +from it in complete darkness. On the topmost landing--a frail +wooden structure that creaked beneath his feet--he paused, and +rapped twice on the door opposite him. + +His heart beat rapidly as he stood there; the blood seemed flying +through it. All the strength of his vigorous body seemed gathering +itself together within him, all the fire of his keen, hungry brain +leapt up, and waiting there in the dark on the narrow landing he +knew the joy of life. + +The door was opened. In a moment his eye swept round the interior +of the high windowless room. The floor was bare, with mats here and +there, and in the centre stood a flat pan of charcoal, glowing +under a closed and steaming cooking-pot. At one end a coarse chick, +suspended from a wooden bar, dropped its long lines to the floor, +and behind this, on some cushions, sat Saidie with another of the +dancing-girls. + +The old woman who had opened the door, salaamed, touching the floor +with her forehead as Hamilton walked in, and then securely shut and +fastened the door behind him. Saidie rose and looked through the +shimmering lines of the chick at him as he entered. + +Very handsome the tall commanding figure looked in the mean, bare +room: the long neck and well-modelled head, with its black, +close-cut hair, stood out a noble relief against the colourless +wall, and the clear brown skin, with the warm tint of quick blood +in it that showed above the English collar, arrested the girl's +eyes with a keen thrill of joy. Looking at him, she felt rushing +through her the passionate delight that self-surrender to such a +man would be. Without waiting to be summoned, she parted the lines +of the chick, came out from them, and fell on her knees at his +feet. + +The heat in the shut-up room was very great, and she was wearing +only a straight white muslin tunic, through which all the soft +beauty of her form could be seen, as an English face is seen +through a veil. Her hair was looped back from her brows and tied +simply with a piece of green ribbon, as an English girl's might +have been, and flowed in its thick, black glossy waves to her +waist. + +Hamilton bent over her and raised her in his arms, feeling in that +moment, though the whole universe were reeling and rocking round +him to its ruin, he would care nothing while he pressed that soft +breast to his. + +The old woman sat down cross-legged by the charcoal, and began to +fan it. + +The other girl behind the chick looked out curiously, but her eyes +never noted the strength and beauty of Hamilton's figure, nor the +bright glow in the oval cheek: she looked to see if he wore rings +on his fingers, and tried to catch sight of the links in his cuffs +to see if they were silver or gold. + +Saidie had the divine gift of passion: all the fire of the gods in +her veins. Zenobie had none, and Saidie's joy now was something she +could not understand. + +"Have you come to take me away, now at once?" Saidie murmured in a +soft, passionate whisper close to his ear, and the accent of joy +and delight went quivering down through the deepest recesses of the +man's being. + +"Yes: are you ready to come with me?" Needless question! put only +for the supreme pleasure of listening to its answer. + +"Oh, more than ready," whispered the soft voice back. "How shall +the slave explain her longing to her lord?" + +Zenobie had come round the chick, while they stood by the door, and +drawn forward the one little low wooden stool that they possessed. +She came up now, and pulled at Saidie's sleeve. + +"Let the Sahib be seated," she said reprovingly, and Saidie let her +arms slip from his neck and drew him forward to the stool by the +charcoal pan. + +With some difficulty Hamilton drew up his long legs and seated +himself cautiously on the small seat; Saidie and Zenobie sat +cross-legged on the ground close to his feet. The old woman ceased +to fan the fire; the bright red glow of the coals fell softly on +the strong, noble beauty of the man's face, and Saidie, looking up +to it, sat speechless, her bosom heaving, her lips parted, her dark +eyes full of mysterious fires, melting, swimming, behind their veil +of lashes. + +Zenobie watched her with curiosity: what did she feel for this +infidel who wore no rings and only silver in his cuffs? + +Hamilton, as soon as he was seated, drew out his pocket-book--old +and worn, for he spent little on himself--and opened it. + +The old woman sat up. Zenobie's eyes gleamed: the business was +going to commence. Only Saidie did not stir nor move her eyes from +his face. + +"Two thousand rupees was the price agreed upon; here it is," he +said, taking out a thick bundle of notes that occupied the whole +inside of the poor, limp pocket-book; and as the old woman +stretched out a skinny claw for them and began to slowly count +them, he turned his gaze away, on to the upturned face of the girl +watching him with sensual adoration. + +The old woman counted through the notes, and then securely tied +them into the end of her chudda. + +"The sum is the due sum, well counted," she said, looking up; "and +when will my lord take his slave?" + +"To-night," Hamilton replied briefly, but not without a swift +enquiring glance into the girl's eyes. Though he had bought and +paid for her, he could not get out of the Western knack of +considering that the girl's desires had to be consulted. + +The old woman raised her hands in affected horror. + +"To-night! But she is not well clothed, she is not bathed and +anointed; the bridal robes are not prepared. My lord, it cannot +be!" + +Hamilton looked at Saidie; she crept to his side and put her head +on his breast. + +"Yes, to-night, take me to-night," she murmured eagerly; he smiled, +and put his arm around her. + +"The bridal clothes are of no consequence," he answered decisively. +"My camel waits below. I will take her to-night." + +"She has no shoes," objected the old woman. "She cannot descend the +stairs." + +"I will carry her down," replied Hamilton, and, springing up from +the little stool, he stooped over the lovely form at his feet, +raising her into his arms, close to his breast. Saidie clung to his +neck with a little cry of pleasure, her bare, warm-tinted feet hung +over his arm. + +The old woman gasped: Zenobie laughed. The Englishman looked so +big, so immensely strong. The weight of Saidie, tall and +well-developed as she was, seemed as nothing to him. + +"Zenobie, will you hold the lamp at the doorway, that he may see +his way?" Saidie cried out, slipping off a thin gold circlet she +wore on her arm, and letting it drop into the other's hands. + +"Farewell, Zenobie; may you be always as happy as I am now." + +Zenobie caught the bracelet and ran to the wall, unhooked the lamp +that hung there, and came to the door. + +"Farewell, my mother," Saidie said, as they turned to it. + +"Farewell, my daughter; be submissive to the Sahib, and obey him in +all things." + +The door was opened, and by the dim, uncertain light of Zenobie's +lamp, Hamilton, clasping his warm, living burden, went slowly and +heavily down the bending stairs, feeling the life brimming in every +vein. + +Outside, in the tranquil splendour of the starry Eastern night, +knelt the camel, peacefully awaiting its lord, and as Hamilton +approached it with his burden, it turned its head and large, liquid +eyes upon him with a gurgle of pleasure. + +"The camel loves Hamilton Sahib," murmured the girl, as he set her +on the soft red cloth laid over the animal's back, which formed the +only saddle. He took his own place in front of her. + +"Hold to my belt firmly," he told her, gathering into his hand the +light rein. "Are you ready for him to rise?" + +He felt her little, soft hands glide in between his belt and waist. + +"Yes, I am quite ready," she answered, and at a word of +encouragement, the great beast rose with its slow, stately swing to +its feet, and Hamilton guided it towards the Meidan. The soft, hot +air stirred against their faces as they moved through the night. + +Nothing could present a more lovely picture than the bungalow that +evening. A low, white house, looking in the moonlight as if built +of marble, surrounded by masses of palms which threw a delicate +tracery of shadow upon it and drooped their beautiful, fan-like, +feathery branches over it, between it and the jewelled sky. + +A light verandah ran around the lower of the two stories, +completely covered by the white, star-like bloom of the jessamine +that poured forth floods of fragrance like incense on the hot, +still air, and a giant pink magnolia rioted over the wide porch of +lattice-work. Within it was brightly lighted, and a warm glow from +shaded lamps came out from each window, stealing softly through the +veil of scented jessamine and falling on the masses of pink roses +surrounding the house. + +The deep peace, the sweet scent in the silence, the kiss of the +moonlight and the starlight on the sleeping flowers, the exquisite +form of the shadows on the white wall, filled Hamilton with +pleasure: each sense seemed subtly ministered to; he felt as if +invisible spirits round him were feeding him with ambrosia. + +He turned round to Saidie as the camel slowly and majestically +entered the compound gate, and saw her clearly framed in the soft +silver light; all this wondrous beauty round them seemed to be to +her beauty but as the harmonies that in an opera float round the +central air. And she smiled as he turned upon her. + +"How do you like your new house, Saidie?" he said, half laughing as +he leant back to her. + +"Surely it is Paradise, Sahib," she murmured back in awestruck +tones. + +Within the door waited the servants to welcome them in a double +line, and as Saidie entered, they fell flat with their faces on the +floor. She passed through the prostrate row saluting them, and on +to the foot of the stairs. The ayah that the butler had engaged +rose and followed her mistress upstairs, where she was ushered into +her bath and dressing-room; while the butler, swelling with +importance and joyous pride, led Hamilton to the large room he had +prepared as a bedroom on the first floor. As they went in Hamilton +gave a murmur of approval very dear to the man's heart, as he heard +it, standing respectfully by the door. + +The room was large, and two windows, draped with curtains, stood +open to the soft night. + +The bed in the centre of the room was one of the wide Indian +charpais which are unrivalled for comfort, and glimmered softly +white beneath its filmy mosquito curtains in the lamplight shed by +four handsome rose-shaded lamps. Small tables stood everywhere, +bearing vases of fresh flowers, roses, and stephanotis; a rich, +deep rose-coloured carpet spread all over the floor, with only a +small border of chetai visible round the walls; and two easy-chairs +of the same colour and numerous smaller ones piled up with cushions +completed the equipment of the room. The air was full of scent, and +the scheme of colour in the room perfect. Nothing but rose and +white was allowed to meet the eye. The flowers were selected with +this view, and the great bowls of roses all blushed the same +glorious tint through the snowy whiteness of the stephanotis. + +The room suggested, in its softly-lighted glow of pink and white, a +bridal chamber. + +Hamilton turned to his servant with a pleased smile on his +handsome, animated face. + +"You are an artist, Pir Bakhs, and a sort of magician, to do all +this in twelve hours." + +Pir Bakhs bowed and salaamed by the door, his well-formed polished +face wreathed in many smiles. + +Downstairs the girl was already waiting for her lord, bathed, and +with her long hair shaken out and brushed after the dust of the +desert ride, and looped back from her forehead by a fresh green +ribbon. She did not sit down, but stood waiting. + +This room showed the same care as the upper one, and the table was +laid out with Hamilton's plate and glass and four beautiful +epergnes held the flowers. + +Natives are artists, particularly in colour arrangements; the whole +colour scheme here was white and green, and any table in Belgravia +would have had hard work to equal this one. Saidie stood looking at +it, and the servants, already ranged by the sideboard, stood with +their eyes on the ground, yet conscious of her wonderful beauty, +and pleased by it in the same way that they would have felt pride +and pleasure in the beauty and good condition of a new horse or +camel acquired by their master. + +After a few minutes Hamilton came down. He had put on his evening +clothes as they had been laid out for him by the bearer, and +looked radiant as he entered. + +Saidie gave a little cry as she saw him. His present dress, well +cut and close-fitting, showed his splendid figure to greater +advantage than the loose suit she had seen him in hitherto. His +long neck carried his fine, spirited head erect, and the masses of +thick, black hair, with just the least wave in it, shone in the +lamplight. His well-cut face, with its gay animation and charming, +debonair, unaffected expression, made a kingly and perfect picture +to the girl's dazzled eyes. + +As they took their places and their soup was served, she could not +detach her gaze from his face. + +He laughed as he looked at her. + +"Come, you must be hungry. Take your soup while it's hot; don't +waste your time looking at me." + +"Sahib, I cannot help looking at you. You are so wonderful to me! +Please give me leave to. I do not want any soup." + +Hamilton, who by this time had finished his own, leant back in his +chair and laughed again, looking at her with eyes blazing with +mirth and passion. This innocent, genuine admiration was very +pleasing to him in its flattery; this worship offered to himself, +rather than his gifts, was something new to him, and the girl's +beauty sent all the fires of life in quick streams through his +frame as he looked on it. He was alive for the first time in his +existence, and filled with a surprised happiness as great as the +girl's. He was as virgin to joy as she was to love. "You are the +dearest little girl I ever knew," he said; "but if you won't take +soup, you must eat fish. Yes, I positively refuse you my permission +to look at me till you have finished that whole plate." + +Saidie dropped her eyes to her fish very submissively at this, +while Hamilton himself filled her glass. + +"Have you ever tasted wine?" he asked. "This is champagne; drink +it, and tell me what you think of it." + +"All my people are Mahommedans; we do not drink wine," Saidie +replied, taking up the glass and sipping from it. + +"Perhaps you won't like it," he suggested, watching her. + +"If the Sahib gives it to me I shall like it," replied Saidie, +smiling at him over the delicate golden glass: it threw its light +upwards into her great gleaming eyes, and Hamilton kissed the +little hand that put the glass gently down on the table again. + +Next after the fish came game and joints, course after course, more +food in that one meal than Saidie was accustomed to see for many +people for a week. Her own appetite was soon satisfied, and she sat +for the most part gazing at Hamilton, with her hands tightly locked +together in her lap: such a nervous delight filled her, such a +strange joy in knowing herself to be alive, to be possessed of a +beautiful body that by reason of its beauty was worthy the caresses +of a man like this; such a pure rapture animated every fibre, to +realise that it was in her power to give pleasure to him. With such +feelings as these no faintest hint of humiliation or degradation +could mingle. Saidie felt only that superb and joyous pride that +Nature originally intended the female to have in her surrender to +the male. + +Her very breath seemed to flutter softly with joyous trepidation +and excitement as it passed over her lips. That she was to be his, +held in his arms, admitted to his embrace, seemed to her to be the +crown of her life, an honour given by special divine favour. + +So must Rhea Sylvia have felt praying before her Vestal altar when +Mars first appeared to her startled eyes. + +And Hamilton, with his keen, sensitive temperament, saw into her +mind clearly, and was fully aware of all this fervent adoration, +this intense passionate worship springing within her; and an +immense tenderness and reverence grew up within him, enclosing all +his passion as the crystal vessel encloses the crimson wine. + +That she would not in her present state have shrunk or flinched +from a knife, if only his hand held it while it wounded her, he +knew quite well, and this wonderful voluntary self-sacrifice which +is the soul of all female passion appealed to him as a very holy +thing. + +He knew that constantly this adoring love was poured out by women +for men, that almost every virgin heart beats with this same +worship as the first pain of love enters it, but ah! for how short +a time! How quickly the man tears open those eyes that would so +willingly be closed to his vileness! how soon come the infidelity, +the lies and the meanness, the trickery and the treachery! How +assiduously the man teaches the woman who loves him that there is +nothing in him worthy of adoration, not even admiration, not even +decent respect! How little confidence, how little credence she soon +gives to his word that was once so sacred to her! How in her heart, +though her lips say nothing, is that once rapturous worship changed +into a measureless contempt! + +Men persistently teach women that they must not expect the best +from them, but the lowest. And the women cry in pain as they see +the white mantle of their love trampled upon and dragged in the +mire of lies and falseness, and they take it back from the base +hands and burn it in the fires kindled in their outraged hearts. +Something of this flashed through Hamilton's brain as he met the +adoring trust and love in the girl's eyes, and an unspoken vow +formed itself within him that he would not deceive and betray it, +that his lips should not lie to her, that to the end he would be to +her as she now saw him in the glamour of those first hours. + +When he had tempted her to every sweet and bon-bon on the table, +and made her drink all the wine he thought good for her, he sent +the servants away, and they remained alone together in the +dining-room with their coffee before them. He put his arm round +her, and drawing her out of her own chair, took her on to his knees +and pressed her head down on his shoulder. + +"Are you not tired with that long ride on the camel?" he asked. + +"No, Sahib, I am not tired." + +The soft weight of her body pressed upon him; her lids drooped over +her eyes as her head leaned against his neck. + +"I think you are tired and very sleepy," he repeated, pinching the +glowing arm in its transparent muslin sleeve. + +"If the Sahib says so, I must be," responded Saidie quite simply. + +"Come, then, and sleep," he said in her ear, and they went +upstairs. + +Saidie gave a little cry of delight as they entered together the +rose-filled room, and beyond its soft shaded lights she saw the +great flashing planets in the dark sky. + +"This is a different and a better home for love than we had last +night," said Hamilton softly, as he closed the door. + +A great peace reigned all round them. Within and without the +bungalow there was no sound. The lights burned steadily and +subdued, the sweet scent of the flowers hung in the air like a +silent benediction upon them. + +He put his arm round her, and felt her tremble excessively as his +hand unfastened the clasp of her tunic. He stopped, surprised. + +"Why do you tremble so? Are you afraid of me?" he asked, looking +down upon her, all the tenderness and strength of a great passion +in his eyes. + +"No, no," she returned passionately, "I tremble because great waves +of happiness rush over me at your touch. I cannot tell you what I +feel, Sahib; the love and happiness within me is breaking me into +fragments." + +"Then you must break in my arms," he murmured back softly, drawing +her into his embrace, "so that I shall not lose even one of them." + + * * * * * + +In the morning a flood of sunlight rushing into the room through +the open windows, bringing with it the gay chatter of birds, roused +the lovers. Hamilton opened his eyes first, and, lifting his head +from the pillow, looked down upon Saidie still asleep beside him. +In the rich mellow light of the room her loveliness glowed under +his eyes like a jewel held in the sun. He hardly drew his breath, +looking down upon her. Her heavy hair, full of deep purplish +shades, and with the wave in it not unusual in the Asiatic, was +pushed off the pale, pure bronze of the forehead, on which were +drawn so perfectly the long-sweeping Oriental brows. The nose, +delicately straight, with its proud high-arched nostrils, and the +tiny upper lip, led the eye on to the finely-carved Eastern mouth, +of which the lips now were softly, firmly folded in repose. How +exquisitely Nature had fashioned those lips, putting more elaborate +work in those lines and curves of that one feature than in the +whole of an ordinary English face. Hamilton hung over her, filled +with a passion of tenderness, watching the gentle breath move +softly the warm column of bronze throat and raise the soft, full +breast. + +Passion, in its highest phase, is indeed the supreme gift of the +gods. In giving it to a mortal for once they forget their envy: for +once they raise him to their level; for that once they grant him +divinity. + +Hamilton now marvelled at himself. The whole fruit of his forty +years of life--all that accomplished work, success, wealth, +rewarded worth, satisfied ambition, all the pleasures his youth, +his health and strength, and powers had always brought him, crushed +together--could not equal this: the charm and ecstasy with which he +gazed down on this warm beauty of the flesh beside him. + +And yet he knew that it was not really in that flesh, not even in +that beauty, that lay the delight. It was in himself, in his own +intense desire, and the gratification of it, that the joy had +birth; and if the gods give not this desire, no matter what else +they give, it is useless. + +The girl might have been as lovely, Hamilton himself, and all the +circumstances the same, yet waking thus he might have been but the +ordinary poor, cold, clay-like mortal a man usually is. But the +great desire for this beauty that had flamed up within him, now in +its possession, gave him that fervour and fire, those wings to his +soul, that seemed to make him divine. It was for him one of those +moments for which men live a life-time, as he indeed had done, but +they repay him when they come. To some, they come never. To these +life must indeed be dark. + +Suddenly the girl opened her eyes; the fire in his bent upon her +seemed to electrify and thrill her into life, and with a little +murmur of delight she stretched up her rounded arms to him. + +At breakfast Hamilton regretted he should have to leave her all +day; what would she do? + +"You must not think of it, Sahib," she answered. "Have I not the +garden? I shall be quite happy. I shall sing all day long to the +flowers about my lord, and count the minutes till he comes back." + +The office did not attract Hamilton at all that day, yet he felt it +was better to attend there as usual, to make no break in his usual +routine. + +Scandal there was sure to be, sooner or later, about his +desert-bungalow, but at least it was better not to give to the +scandal-mongers the power to say he had neglected his duties. Yet +he lingered over his departure, and took her many times into his +arms to kiss her before he went, keeping his impatient Arab waiting +at the door. He would not use the camel again this morning, but +left it resting in its corner of the compound beneath the palms. + +After Hamilton had gone, Saidie stepped through the long window +into the verandah, full of green light, completely shaded as it was +by the giant convolvulus that spread all over it. The chetai +crushed softly under her feet, and she went on slowly to the end +where it opened to the compound. Here she stood for a moment gazing +into the wilderness of beauty of mingled sun and shade before her. + +Against the dazzling blue of the sky the branches of the palms +stood out in gleaming gold, throwing their light shade over the +masses of crimson and white and yellow roses that rioted together +beneath. Groves of the feathery bamboo drooped their delicate +stems in the fervent, sweet-scented heat, over the white, +thick-lipped lilies, from one to other of which passed languidly +on velvet wings great purple butterflies. + +The pomegranate trees made a fine parade of their small, exquisite +scarlet flowers, and pushed them upwards into the sparkling +sunlight through the veils of white starry blossoms of the +jessamine that climbed over and trailed from every tree in the +compound. + +The girl went forward dreaming. How completely, superbly happy she +was! And she had nothing but the gifts of Nature, such as she, the +kindly one, gives to the gay bird swinging on the bough, the +butterfly on the flower, the deer springing on the hills: health +and youth, beauty and love. + +These only were hers; nothing that man ordinarily strives +for--neither wealth nor fame, fine houses, costly garments, jewels, +slaves, power; none of these were hers. Over her body hung simply a +muslin tunic worth a few annas; of the garden in which she stood +not a flower belonged to her, no weight of jewels lay on her happy +heart. She had no name; she was only a dancing-girl from the +Deccan. With the animals she shared that wonderful kingdom of joy +that they possess: their food and mate secured, their vigorous +health bounding in their limbs, their beauty radiant in their +perfect bodies. + +Are they not the Lords of Creation in the sense that they are lords +of joy? Man is the slave of the earth, doomed by his own vile lusts +to bondage of the most dismal kind. All of those gifts that Nature +gives, and from which alone can be drawn happiness, he tramples +beneath his feet, putting his neck under the yoke of ceaseless +toil, striving for things which in the end bring neither peace nor +joy. + +All within the compound under the reign of Nature rejoiced. The +parroquets swung on the trees, and the butterflies floated from the +marble whiteness of the lily's cloisters to the deep, warm recesses +of the rose, and the dancing-girl walked singing through the +sparkling, scented air thinking of her lord. + +Hamilton, speeding down the dusty, burning road to his office in +the native city, felt a strange bounding of his heart as his +thoughts clung to the low, white bungalow amongst the palms +outside the station, and all that it held for him. + +He went through his work that day with a wonderful energy, born of +the new life within him. Nothing fatigued, nothing worried him. The +court-house air did not oppress him. He heard the pleadings and +made his decisions with ease and promptitude. His patience, +gentleness, his clearness and force of brain were wonderful. The +whole electricity of his body was satisfied: the man was perfectly +well and perfectly happy. Who cannot work under such conditions? In +the evening his horse was brought round, and with a wild leaping of +the heart he swung himself into the saddle. The animal felt +instantly the elation of his master, and at once broke into a +canter; as this was not checked, he threw up his lovely head, and +as Hamilton turned across the plain, let himself go in a long +gallop towards where the palms glowed living gold against the +rose-hued sky. + +Hamilton had hardly passed through the white chick into the +interior of the house before he heard the sound of bare feet upon +the matting, and through the soft magnolia-scented, pinky gloom of +the room, shaded from the sunset light, Saidie came and fell at his +knees, taking his dusty hands and kissing them. + +Hamilton lifted her up, and held her a little from him, that he +might feast his eyes on the delicate beautiful carving of the lips, +and on the great velvet eyes, soft, round throat, and breasts +swelling so warmly lovely under the transparent gauze. + +Then he crushed her up in his arms close to his breast, and carried +her to their own room with the golden and green chicks all round +it, where the servants did not come without a summons. The garland +she had twisted on her head smelt sweetly of roses, and the masses +of her silky hair of sandal-wood; her soft lips, that knew so well +instinctively the art of kissing, were on his; the warm, tender +arms clasped his neck. All the way that he carried her she murmured +little words of passion in his ear. + +After dinner the servants carried chairs for them into the +verandah, with a small table laden with drinks and sweetmeats, that +they might sit and watch the moon rising behind the palms in the +compound, and see the hot silver light pour slowly through their +exquisite branches and foliage. + +"How did you amuse yourself all day?" he asked her as she sat on +his knee, his arm round the flexible, supple waist pulsating under +the silky web of her tunic. + +"I was so happy. I had so much to do, so much to think of," she +answered, gazing back into his eyes bent upon her, and eagerly +drawing in their fire. "I wandered in the compound and made garland +after garland, then I sang to my rabab and practised my dancing. In +the heat I went in and slept on my lord's bed dreaming of him--ah! +how I dreamt of him!" She broke off sighing, and those sighs fanned +the blazing fires in the man's veins. + +"You were quite contented, then, with your day?" + +"How could I not be contented when I had my lord to think about, +his love of last night, his love of the coming night?" + +Hamilton sighed and smiled at the same time. + +"English wives need more than that to make them content," he +answered. + +"English wives," repeated Saidie, with her laugh like the sound of +a golden bell; "what do they know of love?" + +"Not much certainly, I think," replied Hamilton. + +For a moment the vision of a thin blonde face, with its expression +of sour discontent, rose before him. What had he not given that +woman--what had she not demanded? Extravagant clothes to deck out +her tall lean body, a carriage to drive her here and there, a +mansion to live in, all the money he could gain by constant +work--these things she demanded because she was his wife, and he +had given them, and yet she was always discontented, simply because +she was one of those women who do not know desire nor the delight +of it. This one had nothing but that divine gift, and it made all +her life joy. + +"Dance for me now in the cool," murmured Hamilton in the little +fine curved ear with the rose-bud just over it. + +Saidie slipped off his knee, and fastening the little gilt link at +her neck more securely, drew her soft filmy garment more closely to +her, and commenced to dance before him in the screened verandah, +with the hot moonlight, filtered through the delicate tracery; of +innumerable leaves falling on her smooth, warm-tinted body. + +To please him, to please him, her lord, her owner, her king: it was +the one passion in her thoughts, and it flowed through every limb +and muscle, glowed in her eyes, quivered on her parted lips, and +made each movement a miracle of sweet sinuous grace. + +The soft, hot night passed minute by minute, the scents of a +thousand flowers mingled together in the still violet air. Some +white night-moths came and fluttered round the exquisite form on +whose rounded contours the light played so softly, and Hamilton lay +back in his chair, silent, absorbed, hardly drawing his breath +through his lungs, shaken by the nervous beating of his heart. +Motionless he lay there, almost breathless, for the wine of life +was in all his veins, mounting to his head, intoxicating him. + +"I am very tired; may I stop now?" came at last in a low murmur +from the curved lips so sweetly smiling at him, and the whole soft +body drooped like a flower with fatigue. Hamilton opened his arms +wide. She saw how the fresh colour glowed in the handsome cheek, +how his splendid neck swelled as the red deer's in November, how +the dark eyes blazed upon her. + +"Come to me," he commanded, and she flew to his arms as the +love-bird flies upward to her mate in the pomegranate tree. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +For three months Hamilton and Saidie lived in the white bungalow in +the palms, and drank of the wine of life together, and were happy +in the overwhelming intoxication it gives. + +For three months Saidie lived there, never going beyond the +precincts of the house and the palace of flowers that was the +compound. + +Why should she leave them? What had she to gain by going out into +the dusty way? What had she to seek? Her garden of Eden, her +Paradise, was here. She was too wise to go beyond its limits. + +Pedlars and merchants of all sorts brought their best and richest +wares to her, and Hamilton sat by her in the verandah, commanding +her to buy all that pleased her, though she protested she needed +nothing. + +Jewels for her neck, and gold anklets and bracelets, and robes and +sweetmeats were laid out before her. Only the best of the bazaar +was brought, and of this again only the best was chosen. And when +Hamilton was not there she walked from room to room singing, +clothed in purple silken gauze, with his jewels blazing on her +breast, his kisses still burning on her lips. Then she would take +her rabab and play to the listening flowers, or practise her +dancing, the source of his pleasure, or lie in the noonday heat on +the edge of the bubbling spring that rose up in the moss under the +boughain-villia and look towards the East and dream of his +home-coming. What did she want more? + +Hamilton now lived the enchanted life of one who is wholly absorbed +in a secret passion. He was wise--more wise than men generally +are--and made no effort to parade his treasure. This wonderful +exotic, this flower of happiness, that bloomed so vividly in the +dark, secluded recesses of his heart, how did he know that the +destructive heat and light of publicity might not fade and sear +its marvellous petals? He told no one of his life; took no one out +into the desert with him, to the bungalow among the palms. + +He was away a great deal. His work and certain social duties +claimed a large part of his day, and during all that time he had to +leave her alone with her flowers, but this gave him no anxiety. It +was not a dangerous experiment, as it always is to leave a European +woman alone. He knew that Saidie, the Oriental, would spend the +whole time dreaming of him, longing for him, singing to the flowers +of him, talking to her women-attendants of him, filling the whole +garden and house with his image till the longed-for moment of his +return. + +And to Hamilton, full of unspoiled life and vigour, this security, +this certainty of her complete fidelity was a wondrous charm. + +Unlike a man of jaded passions, who requires his love to be +constantly stimulated by the fear of imminent loss, Hamilton, full +of unused strength, and thirsty after the joy of life, now that the +cup was offered him, drank of it naturally and with ecstasy, +needing no salt and bitter olives of jealousy between the +draughts. + +For years he had longed for love and happiness: at last he had +found both, and with simple, uncavilling thankfulness he clasped +them to his breast and held them there, content. + +Saturday and Sunday were their great days. Hamilton left the office +at two on Saturday afternoon, and was back at the bungalow by five. + +They went to bed early that night, and rose on the Sunday morning +with the first glimmer of dawn. Everything would be prepared +overnight for a day's excursion and picnic in the desert, which +Saidie particularly delighted in. + +The great brown camel, fat and sleek like all Hamilton's animals, +and with an enormous weight of rich hair on his supple neck, would +be kneeling waiting for them below in the dewy compound, while the +early tender light stole softly through the palms; and they would +mount and go swinging out through the great open spaces of the +desert, full of delicate white light, towards the sister-oasis of +Dirampir, where masses of cocoanut palms grew round a set of +springs, and waved their branches joyfully as they drew in the salt +nourishment of the air from the amethystine sea not fifty miles +distant. + +Into the shelter of these palms they would come as the first great +golden wave of light from the climbing sun broke over the desert, +and, descending from the camel, walk about in the groves by the +spring, and select a place for boiling their kettle and having +their breakfast. The long ride in the keen air of the morning gave +them great appetites, and they enjoyed it in the whole joyous +beauty of the scene round them. The palm branches over them grew +gold against the laughing blue of the sky, a thousand shafts of +sunlight pierced through the fan-like tracery, the golden orioles +at play darted, chasing each other from bough to bough, the spring +bubbled its cool musical notes beside them, and the sense of the +blighting heat of the ravening desert round them seemed to +accentuate the beauty of the peace and shade in the oasis. + +Saidie enjoyed these days beyond everything, and would sit singing +at the foot of a palm, weaving a garland of white clematis for +Hamilton's handsome head as it rested on her lap. + +No English people ever came to the oasis; as a matter of fact, the +English generally do avoid the best and most beautiful spots in or +near an Indian station; but the place was greatly beloved by the +natives who came there to doze and dream, play, sing, and weave +garlands in the usual harmless manner in which a native takes his +pleasure. Looking at them standing or sitting in their harmonious +groups against a background of golden light and delicate shade, +Hamilton often thought how well this scene compared with that of +the Britisher taking a holiday--Hampstead Heath, for instance, with +its noisy drunkenness, its spirit of hateful spite, its ill-used +animals, its loathsome language. The Oriental endeavours to enjoy +himself, and his method is generally peaceful and poetic: the +singing of songs, the weaving of garlands, and the letting alone of +others. The Briton's idea of enjoying himself is extremely simple; +it consists solely in annoying his neighbours. + +To see a handsome English Sahib here was to the habitual +frequenters of the oasis something rather remarkable, but these +people are early taught the custody of the eyes and to mind their +own business. Therefore Hamilton and Saidie were not troubled by +offensive stares, or in any other way. All there were free, +gathered to enjoy themselves, each man in his own way; and the +natives in their gay colours added to the beauty, without +disturbing the peace of the scene, much as the bright-plumaged +birds that flitted from tree to tree absorbed in their own affairs. + +How Hamilton enjoyed those long, calm, golden hours--the golden +hours of Asia, so full of the enchantment of rich light and colour, +soft beauty before the eyes, sweet scent of the jessamine in the +nostrils, the warbling of birds, and Saidie's love songs in his +ears! + +Not till the glorious rose of the sunset diffused itself softly in +the luminous sky, and all the desert round them grew pink, and the +shadows of the palms long in the oasis, and the great planets above +them burst blazing into view into the still rose-hued sky, did they +rise from the side of the spring and begin to think of their +homeward ride. And what a delight it was that night ride home +through the majestic silence of the desert, where their own hearts' +beating and the soft footfall of the camel were the only sounds! +the wild flash of planet and star, and sometimes the soft glimmer +of the rising moon, their only light! Eros, the god of passion, +seated with them on the camel, their only companion! + +To Saidie, cradled in his arms, looking upwards to his face above +her, its beauty distinct in the soft light, feeling his heart +beating against her side, it seemed as if her happiness was too +great for the human frame to bear, as if it must dissolve, melt +into nothingness, against his breast, and her spirit pass into the +great desert solitudes, dispersed, almost annihilated, in the agony +and ecstasy of love. + +Week after week passed lightly by in their brilliant setting, the +hours on their winged feet danced by, and these two lived +independent of all the world, wrapped up in their own intimate joy. + +One morning, just as he was about to leave the bungalow, he heard +Saidie's voice calling him back. He turned and saw her smiling +face hanging over the stair-rail above him. He remounted the +stairs, and she drew him into their room. Her face was radiant, her +eyes blazed with light as she looked at him. + +"I have something to tell you, Sahib! I could not let you go +without saying it. Only think! is not Allah good to me? I am to be +the mother of the Sahib's child," and she fell on her knees, +kissing his hands in a passion of joy. Hamilton stood for the +moment silent. He was startled, unprepared for her words, unused to +the wild joy with which the Oriental woman hails a coming life. + +Her message carried a certain shock to him: it augured change; and +his happiness had been so perfect, so absolute, what would change, +any change, even if wrought by the divine Hand itself, mean to him +but loss? + +Saidie, terrified at his silence, looked up at him wildly. + +"What have I done? Is not my lord pleased?" Her accent was one of +the acutest fear. + +Hamilton bent down and raised her to his breast. + +"Dearest one, light of my soul, how could I not be pleased?" and +he kissed her many times on the lips, and on the soft upper arm +that pressed his throat, and on her neck, till even she was +satisfied. + +"Come and sit with me for a moment that I may tell you all," she +said. Hamilton sat beside her on the bed, and she told him many +things that an Englishwoman would never say, nor would it enter +into her mind to conceive them. + +Hamilton was greatly moved as he sat listening. The wonderful +imagery, the vivid language in which she clothed her pure joyous +thoughts appealed to his own poetic, artistic habit of mind. + +On his way across the desert to the city, Hamilton pondered deeply +over the news and the girl's unaffected joy. Since all those +whispered confidences poured into his ear while they sat side by +side on the bed, the throb of jealousy he had first felt at her +words had passed away. Saidie had made it so clear to him that her +joy was not so great at being the mother of a child as that she was +to be the mother of _his_ child, and similarly Hamilton felt in +all his being a curious thrill at the thought that his child was +hers, that this new life was created in and of her life that had +become so infinitely dear to him. + +He was glad now that his wife had refused to have a child. The +bitter pain he had felt then, those years ago, how little he had +thought it was to be the parent of this present joy. Now the woman +he loved as he had loved no other would be the one to bear his +child. Still the thought of the suffering the mother would go +through depressed his sensitive mind, and the idea of the risk to +her life that came suddenly into his brain made him turn white to +the lips as he rode in the hot sunlight. Such intense happiness as +he had known for the last three months can turn a brave man into a +coward. For a moment he faced the horrid thought that had come to +him--Saidie dead! And the whole brilliant plain, laughing sky, and +dancing sunlight and waving palms became black to him. To go back +to that dreary existence of nothingness of his former life, after +once having known the delight that this bright, eager, ardent +love, these delicate little clinging hands had made for him, would +be impossible. + +"No," he murmured to himself, "if she goes, then it's a snuff out +for me too. I have never cared for life except as she has made it +for me." + +And the cloud rolled off him a little as he met the idea of his own +death. Besides, Saidie had declared so positively that she could +come to no harm, that it would all be pure delight, that pain and +suffering could not exist for her in such a matter since she would +be all joy in making him this gift, that gradually he grew calmer +as he thought over her words. + +"But I didn't want any change," he burst out a little later, +talking to the still golden air round him. "Confound it! I was +perfectly happy. How impossible it is to keep anything as it is in +this world! All our actions drag in upon us their consequences so +fast! There is no getting away from this horrible change, no +enjoying one's happiness peacefully when one has obtained it." + +When he arrived at his office in the city he found that a far +heavier cloud had arisen on his horizon than that created by +Saidie's words. The English mail was in, and a long thin envelope, +impressed with a much-hated handwriting, faced him on the top of +the pile of his correspondence as he entered. + +He picked it up and opened it. + + "DEAR FRANK,--You often used to invite me to come to India, + and I have really at last made up my mind to. I am coming out + by next month's boat to stay with you for a time. I have been + very much run down in health lately, and my doctor says a + sea-voyage and six months in India will be first-rate for me. + I hope you have a nice comfortable house and good servants. + --Yours affectionately, JANE." + +Hamilton stared at the letter savagely as he put it down before him +on the table, a sort of grim smile breaking slowly over his face. +He felt convinced that in some way his wife had learned of his +new-found happiness, and that had given birth to her sudden desire +to visit India after twenty years of persistent refusal to do so. +He sat motionless for a long time, then stretched out his hand for +an English telegraph form and wrote on it-- + + "Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit. FRANK." + +He did not for one moment think that his wife would obey his +injunction, or that his wire would have the least effect on her; +but he wished to have a good ground to stand on when she arrived, +and he declined to receive her. His teeth set for a moment as he +thought of the interview. + +"This is a sort of wind-up day of my happiness," he muttered, as he +took his place at the office table. "Well, I suppose no one could +expect such pleasure as I have had these last three months to +continue; but, whatever happens, Saidie and I will stick together." +He sat musing for a moment, staring with unseeing eyes at the pile +of work in front of him. + +"Saidie, my Saidie! I shall never part from her; therefore I can +never part from my happiness." He smiled a little at the play on +the words, and then commenced his day's labours. + +That evening, when he returned, Saidie noticed at once the +depression in his usually gay, bright manner. When they were alone +at dinner she laid her hand on his. + +"What has darkened the light of my lord's countenance?" she asked +softly. + +Hamilton drew from his pocket his wife's letter, and laid it beside +her plate. + +"Can you read that, Saidie? If so, you will know all about it." + +The girl leaned one elbow on the table and bent over the letter, +studying it. She had been trying hard to improve herself in the +language, of which she knew already something, and with Oriental +quickness, had acquired much in the past three months. She made out +the sense now easily enough. + +"This lady is a wife of yours?" she said quickly, with a swift +upward glance at him, when she had finished reading the letter. + +Hamilton laughed a little. + +"She was my wife till I saw you, Saidie. No one is my wife now, nor +ever will be, but you." + +A soft glow of supreme pleasure and pride lighted up Saidie's great +lustrous eyes. She bent her head and put her soft lips to his +hand. + +"Have you forbidden this wife to come to you?" she asked after a +minute. + +"Yes, I have; but she will come all the same. English wives think +it foolish to obey their husbands." + +He laughed sardonically, and Saidie looked bewildered and +horrified. + + * * * * * + +A month later, a long, lean woman sat in a deck chair on board an +Indian liner as it crossed the enchanted waters of the Indian +Ocean. Enchanted, for surely it is some magician's touch that makes +these waters such a rich and glorious blue! How they roll so +gently, full of majestic beauty, crested with sunlight, under the +ships they carry so lightly! How the gold light leaps over them, +how the azure sky above laughs down to their tranquil mirror! how +the gleaming flying-fish rise in their glinting cloud, whirl over +them, and then softly disappear into their mysterious embrace! + +The long, lean woman saw none of the magic round her. Her dull, +boiled-looking eyes gazed through the soft sunlight without seeing +it. In her lap lay a thin foreign letter and a telegram, together +with a copy of "Anna Lombard" that she was reading with the +strongest disapproval. She picked up the letter and glanced through +it again, though she knew it nearly by heart, especially one +passage: + + "Your husband is leading such a life here! He has built a + wonderful white marble palace in the desert for an Egyptian + dancing-girl. They say it's a sort of Antony and Cleopatra + over again, and she goes about loaded with jewels and golden + chains. I don't know if you are getting your allowance + regularly, but I should think your husband is pretty well + ruining himself. I never saw a man so changed. He used to be + so melancholy, but now he is as bright as possible, and looks + so well and handsome. I hear the woman is expecting a child, + and they are both as pleased as they can be. I hear all about + it, as our cook's cousin is sister to the ayah your husband + hired for the woman, and my ayah gets it all from our cook. I + really should, my dear, come out and look into the matter, as + after a time he will probably want to stop sending home his + pay." + +The thin sheet fell into the woman's lap again, and she seemed to +ponder deeply. Then she read Hamilton telegram again-- + +"Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit," and a disagreeable +laugh broke from her thick, colourless lips. + +"I will go out and see her first," she thought, smoothing down with +a large, bony hand the folds of her rather prim white cambric +dress. She was a very stupid woman, and not a passionate one; +therefore the agony of pain of a loving, jealous wife was quite +unknown to her. But she was malignant, as such people usually are. +She loved making other people uncomfortable in a general way, and +taking away from them anything she could that they valued. She also +felt a peculiar curiosity such as those who cannot feel passion +themselves have usually about the intense happiness it gives to +others. The picture of this other woman, who had found joy +apparently in the arms she herself years ago had thrust aside, +interested her profoundly. She told herself that this Egyptian +loved Hamilton's money, but some instinct within her held her back +from believing this. + +The little bit about the child went deeply into her mind. It +rested there like an arrow-head, and her thoughts grew round it. +When the ship came into port a week or two later, Mrs. Hamilton +was one of the first passengers to land, and after careful +enquiries and well-bestowed tips she was expeditiously conveyed +by ticker-gharry[1] and sedan chair across the desert to the +bungalow at Deira. She was considerably pleased on seeing that +the white marble palace resolved itself into an ordinary white +bungalow, but the garden, was unutterably lovely, and, as she saw +in a moment, represented something quite unusual in cost and +care. + +[Footnote 1: Hired carriage.] + +It was just high noon when she arrived, and she thankfully escaped +from the suffocating heat and glare of the desert into the cool +shaded hall, and gave her card with a throb of spiteful elation to +the butler. + +The Oriental servant read the name, and hurried with the card to +his mistress's room. On hearing of the arrival of the Mem-Sahib, +Saidie descended from the upper room, where she had been lying in +the noonday heat, and, pushing aside the great golden chick that +swung before the drawing-room entrance, went in. + +Her dress was of the most exquisite Indian muslin that Hamilton +could obtain, heavily and wonderfully embroidered in gold, and +peacocks' eyes of vivid deep blue and green; her feet were bare, +for Hamilton, in his revolt from English ways, had kept up Oriental +traditions as far as possible in the clothing of his new mistress, +and weighty anklets of solid gold gleamed beneath the border of her +skirt. Round the perfect column of her neck, full and stately as +the red deer's, were twisted great strings of pearls, throwing +their pale irridescent greenish hue onto the velvet skin. Above the +splendour of her dress rose the regal and lovely face, its delicate +carving and the marvel of its dark, flashing, enquiring eyes +vividly striking in the clear mellow light of the room. + +Mrs. Hamilton, dressed in a plain, grey alpaca dress, rather hot +and dusty after her long drive, sat on one of the low divans +awaiting her. As Saidie entered, the glory of her youth and beauty +struck upon the seated woman like a heavy blow, under which she +started to her feet and stood for a second, involuntarily +shrinking. + +"Salaam, be seated," murmured Saidie, indicating a fauteuil near +the one on which she sank herself. + +Mrs. Hamilton came forward, her hands closing and unclosing +spasmodically in their grey silk gloves, and sat down again, her +eyes riveted on the other's face. + +"Do you know who I am?" she said at last in a stifled voice. + +Saidie smiled faintly; one of those liquid, lingering smiles that +made Hamilton's heaven. + +"Yes, I know; you are Mem Sahib Hamilton, the first, the old +wife.". + +Saidie, according to her own Eastern ideas, was in the position of +a superior receiving an unfortunate inferior. She was the latest +acquired--the darling, the reigning queen--confronted with the poor +cast-off, old, unattractive first wife; and being of a nature +equally noble as the type of her beauty, she felt it incumbent on +her, in such a situation, to treat the unfortunate with every +consideration, gentleness, and tenderness. + +The British matron's views of the relative positions of first and +subsequent wives differs, however, from Saidie's, and Mrs. +Hamilton's face grew purple as she heard Saidie's answer, and some +faint comprehension of Saidie's view was borne in upon her. + +"Where is my husband?" she demanded fiercely. + +"The Sahib is in the city to-day," returned Saidie calmly. How +odious they were, these Englishwomen, with their short skirts and +big boots, and red, hot faces, with great black straw houses over +them, and their curt manners, and the impertinent way they spoke of +their lords! + +"When will he be back?" pursued the other, sharply. + +Saidie glanced towards the clock. + +"In a few hours; perhaps more. He returns at sunset." + +"And what do you do all day, shut up by yourself?" questioned her +visitor, with a sort of contemptuous surprise. + +"I think of him," returned Saidie, quite simply, with a sort of +proud pleasure that made the Englishwoman stare incredulously. + +"Silly little fool!" she ejaculated, with a harsh, disdainful +laugh. + +"Does he give you all those things, and dress you up like that?" +she added, staring at the pearls on Saidie's neck. + +"He has given me everything I have," she replied, seriously. + +That Hamilton was wasting his substance on another went home far +more keenly to his lawful wife than that he was wasting his love on +the same. She got up, and went close to the girl, with a face of +fury. + +"They are all mine! I should like to drag them off you! Do you +understand that an Englishman's money belongs to his wife, and _I_ +am his wife? You! What are you? He belongs to me, and, whatever you +may think, I can take him from you. By our laws he must come back +to me." + +Saidie rose and faced the angry woman unmoved. + +"No law on earth can make a man stay with a woman he does not +love," she said calmly, "nor take him from one he does. You must +know little, or you would know that love is stronger than all law. +I give you leave to withdraw. Salaam." + +And she herself moved slowly backwards towards the hanging chick, +passed through it, and was gone, leaving the Englishwoman alone in +the room. + + * * * * * + +Three hours later Hamilton, sitting in his own private office, +surrounded with papers, started suddenly as he heard a well-known +and hated voice say, outside the door. + +"Thanks, I'll go in myself." + +The next minute the door had opened and his wife stood before him. +He sat in silence, regarding her. + +"Well, Frank, I suppose you were expecting me? You saw the boat +came in, doubtless. You don't look particularly pleased to see me!" + +There was only one chair in the room, and Hamilton remained seated. +His wife stood in front of him. + +"I do not know of any reason why I should be pleased, do you?" he +said calmly, gazing at her with eyes full of concentrated +hostility. + +"No, considering you've got that black woman up at your house, I +don't suppose you do want your wife back very badly; but I've come +to stay, my dear fellow, some time, so you've got to make the best +of it." + +"You will not stay with me," returned Hamilton quietly. His face +was very white, his eyes had become black as they looked at her. +One hand played idly with a paper-knife on his table. + +"And a nice scandal there'll be when I go to stay at the hotel +here, and it's known I'm your wife, and you are living out in the +desert with a woman from the bazaar!" + +"The fear of scandal has long since ceased to regulate my life," +answered Hamilton calmly. "Be good enough to make your interview +short; I have a great deal of work to-day." + +"You are a devil!" replied the woman, white, too, now with impotent +rage, "to desert your own wife for that filthy native woman. I--" + +But Hamilton had sprung to his feet; his face was blazing; he +seized his wife's wrists in both hands. + +"Be quiet," he said, in a low tone of such fury that she cowered +beneath it. "One word more and I shall _kill_ you; do you +understand?" + +Then he raised one hand and brought it down on his gong. Instantly +two stalwart, bronze giants, his chuprassis, entered the room and +stood by the door. + +"Take this woman out, and keep her out," he said to them. "Never +let her in again. She annoys me." + +The chuprassis put their hands to their foreheads, and then +impassively approached the Englishwoman. She looked at her husband +wildly as they took her arms. + +"Frank! you will not surely--" she expostulated. "Your own wife!" +and she struggled to release her arms. + +Hamilton waved his hand, and the natives forced her to the door. +For a moment she seemed inclined to scream and struggle. Then her +face changed. A look of intense malevolence came over it. She +walked between the men quietly to the door. As she passed through +it, she looked back. + +"You and she shall regret this," she said. Then the door shut, and +Hamilton was alone. + +He sat down, collapsed in his chair. Oh, how could he free himself +from this millstone at his neck? What relief could he gain +anywhere? To what power appeal? He could keep her out of his house, +out of his office, but not out of his life. She had come here with +the deliberate intention of wrecking that, and she would succeed +probably, for she would have the blind, hideous force of +conventional morality on her side. She would destroy his life--that +life till lately so valueless to him; that dreary stretch made +barren so many years by her hateful influence, but which, in spite +of it, at Saidie's touch, had now bloomed into a garden of flowers. +The thought of Saidie strengthened him. It was true that his wife +would probably succeed in breaking up his life here from the +conventional and social point of view, and he would be obliged most +likely to give up his appointment; but he had a small independent +income, and on that he and Saidie could still live together. They +would go to Ceylon or to Malabar. Perhaps also he could make money +otherwise than officially. Wherever he went his wife would probably +pursue him, intent on making his life a misery. Still, Fortune +might favour him; he and Saidie might in time reach some corner of +the world where their remorseless tracker would lose trace of them. +Perhaps to go to England at once and obtain a legal separation +would be the best plan, but then it was winter in England now, and +he could not with advantage take Saidie to England in winter, for +fear his exotic Eastern flower would fade in the northern winds. + +His thoughts wandered from point to point, and the minutes passed +unheeded. His papers lay untouched, scattered on the floor. The +chuprassi brought in from time to time a note, laid it on the table +and withdrew. Hamilton noticed nothing; he sat still, thinking. + +Meanwhile Mrs. Hamilton had been driven to the hotel, where she +engaged very modest quarters and ordered luncheon. While waiting +for this she went out into the balcony before her windows, and +looked with gloomy eyes into the sunny, laughing splendour of the +Eastern afternoon. At the side of the hotel was a luxuriant garden, +and the palms and sycamores growing there threw a light shade into +the sunny street just below her window; the sky overhead stretched +its eternal Eastern blue, and the pigeons wheeled joyfully in and +out the eaves in the clear sparkling air, or descended to the pools +in the garden to bathe, with incessant cooing. Up and down the +road passed the white bullocks with their laden carts, and the +gaily-dressed Turkish sweet-meat sellers went by crooning out songs +descriptive of their wares, pausing under the shade of the garden +to look up at the English Mem-Sahib in the balcony. She leant her +arms on the rail, and looked out on the gay scene with unseeing +eyes. "Beast!" she muttered at intervals, and her hard-lined face +crimsoned and paled by turns. + +When her luncheon came in she returned to the room, took off her +hat and looked in the glass. The narrow, selfish, petty emotions of +twenty years were written all over her face in deep, hideous lines. +The mass of yellow hair, newly-dyed, looked glaringly youthful and +incongruous above it. + +Burning with a sense of malevolent discontent and misery, she +turned from the glass and hurried through her luncheon, then +ordered it to be cleared away and writing materials to be brought +in, and set herself with grim feverishness to the concoction of a +long letter to the Commissioner. In it Hamilton's twenty years of +patient fidelity, through which time he had regularly transmitted +to her half his pay year by year were naturally not mentioned; her +own refusal to live with him, her incessant demands for more money, +her extravagance, her long, whining letters to him, her debts, her +own life in town were, of course, also suppressed. In the letter +she figured as the ardent, tender, anxious wife, arriving to find +her abandoned husband wasting his substance on a black mistress. +The visit to the cruel tyrant in his office was long dwelt on, and +the whole closed with a pathetic appeal to the Commissioner to use +his influence to restore her dearest boy to her arms. It was not a +bad letter from the artist's and the liar's standpoint, and she +read it through with a glow of satisfaction, sealed it up with a +baleful smile of triumph, and then sounded the gong. + +"Take this at once to the Commissioner Sahib," she said, handing +the note to the servant, "and let me have some tea; also you can +order me a carriage. I shall want to drive afterwards." + +When the tea came, she thoroughly enjoyed it after her virtuous +labours, and in the cool of the evening drove out to see the city. + + * * * * * + +That evening at dinner, seated at their table, laden with flowers, +with the light from the heavy Burmese silver lamps falling on her +lovely glowing face, and round bangle-laden arms, Saidie told +Hamilton of the visit of the white Mem-Sahib. His face darkened and +his lips set. + +"So she came here, did she? Did she frighten you? attempt to hurt +you?" + +"Oh, no," returned Saidie; "not at all. Naturally she is very hurt, +very sorry; no wonder she longs after the Sahib, and wishes to be +taken back to his harem. I was very sorry for her. It is quite +natural she should be jealous, of course," and Saidie rested one +soft, silken skinned elbow on the table and leaned across the +flowers, and her half-filled wine-glass, looking with tender liquid +eyes earnestly at the face of her lord. + +"The Sahib is so wonderful, so beautiful, so far above other men," +she murmured, gazing upon him. "It is no wonder she is unhappy." + +Hamilton smiled a little, looking back at her. He had indeed a +singularly handsome face, with its straight, noble features and +warm colour, and as he smiled the breast of the Eastern girl +heaved; her heart seemed to rush out to him. + +"Ah, Saidie! you do not understand English wives," he said gently, +with a curious melancholy in his voice. "Love and worship such as +you give me they think shameful and shocking. To love a man for +himself, for his face, for his body is degrading. They are so pure, +they love him only for his purse. They tell him to take his passion +to dancing-girls like you. They hate to bear him children. They +like to live in his house, be clothed at his expense, ride in his +carriage, but they care little to sleep in his arms." + +Saidie regarded him steadfastly, with eyes ever growing wider as +she listened. + +"I do not understand ..." she murmured at last, clasping both soft, +supple hands across her breast, as if trying to mould herself into +this new belief; "it is so hard to comprehend.... Surely it must +be right to love one's lord, to bear him sons, to please him, to +make him happy every hour, every minute of the day and night." + +"Right?" returned Hamilton passionately, getting up from his seat +and coming over to her. "Of course it is right! love such as yours +is a divine gift to man, straight from the hands of God." He leaned +his burning hands heavily on the delicately-moulded shoulders, +looking down into her upturned face. How exquisite it was! its fine +straight nose, its marvellously-carved mouth and short upper lip, +its round, full chin, and midnight eyes beneath their great +arching, sweeping brows! + +"That woman is a fiend, one of the unnatural creatures our wretched +European civilisation has made only to destroy the lives of men. +Don't let us speak of her! never let us think of her! She is +nothing to me. You are my world, my all. If she drives us away from +here, there are other parts of the world for us. Separate us she +never shall. Come! why should we waste our time even mentioning her +name. Come with me into our garden. Darling! darling!" + +He stooped over her, and on her lips pressed those kisses so long +refused, uncared for by one woman, so priceless to this one, and +almost lifted Saidie from the chair. She laughed the sweet low +laughter of the Oriental woman, and went with him eagerly towards +the verandah, and out into the compound where the roses slept in +the warm silver light. + + * * * * * + +For two days nothing happened. Hamilton went as usual to his office +for the day. At four he left, and, mounting his camel, went into +the desert to the oasis in the palms. + +On the third day he received a summons from the Commissioner, and +went up to his house in the afternoon. His heart seethed with rage +within him, but except for an unusual pallor in the clear warm +skin, his face showed nothing as he entered the large, imposing +drawing-room. + +The Commissioner was a short, pompous little man, rather +overshadowed by his grim raw-boned wife, and had under her strict +guidance and training developed a stern admiration for conventional +virtue, particularly in regard to conjugal relations. He rose and +bowed as Hamilton entered, but did not offer to shake hands. +Hamilton waited, erect, silent. + +"Sit down, Mr. Hamilton." Hamilton sat down. "Er--I--ah--have +received what I may term a painful--yes, a very painful +communication, and er--I may say at once it refers to you and your +concerns in a most distressing manner--most distressing." + +The Commissioner coughed and waited. Hamilton remained silent. The +Commissioner fidgeted, crossed his knees, uncrossed them again, +then turned on him suddenly. The Indian climate is trying to the +temper; it means many pegs, and small control of the passions. + +"Damn you, sir!" he broke out fiercely. "What the devil do you mean +by keeping a black woman in your house, and sending your wife to +the hotel here?" + +He was purple and furious; in his hand he crushed Mrs. Hamilton's +beautiful composition. + +"She tells me you called in natives to throw her out of your +office: it's disgraceful! Upon my word it is; it's scandalous! And +you sent her to the hotel! I never heard of such a thing!" + +"Mrs. Hamilton came out uninvited, in defiance of my express +wishes, and on her arrival I told her she could not stay with me," +returned Hamilton quietly. "Whether she went to the hotel or not, I +don't know." + +"But your wife, damn it all, your wife, has a right to stay with +you if she chooses; naturally she would come to you, and you can't +turn her out in this way." + +"She has long ago forfeited all rights as my wife," replied +Hamilton calmly, in a low tone, with so much weight in it that the +Commissioner looked at him keenly. + +"Why don't you get a divorce or a separation then?" he asked +abruptly. "Do the thing decently--not have her out like this, and +make a scandal all over the station." + +"I know of no grounds for a divorce," returned Hamilton. "There are +many ways of breaking the marriage vows other than infidelity. I +married Mrs. Hamilton twenty years ago, and for those twenty years +she has practically refused to live with me. For twenty years I +have remitted half my income to her every year. During that time I +have many times asked her to join me here, sought a reconciliation +always to be refused. Recently I found another interest; the moment +my wife discovered this, she came out with the sole purpose of +annoying me. I have come to the conclusion that twenty years' +fidelity to a woman without reward is enough. I shall not alter my +life now to suit Mrs. Hamilton." + +The Commissioner was silent. He was quite sure Hamilton was +speaking the truth, and in reality, in the absence of Mrs. +Commissioner, he felt all his sympathies go with him. But his +wife's careful training and his official position put other words +than his mind dictated into his mouth. + +"Well, well," he said at last, "we can't go into all that. You and +your wife must arrange your matters somehow between you. But there +can't be a scandal like this going on. You, a married man, living +with a native woman, and your wife out here at the hotel! Something +must be done to make things look all right--must be done," and he +knitted his brows, looking crossly at Hamilton from under them. + +Hamilton shrugged his shoulders. + +"You'd better give up this native woman," snapped the +Commissioner. + +Hamilton smiled. His was such an expressive face, it told more +clearly the feelings than most impassive English faces, and there +was that in the smile that held the Commissioner's gaze; and the +two men sat staring at each other in silence. + +After some moments the Commissioner spoke again but his tone was +different. + +"Hamilton, you know we all have to make sacrifices to our official +position, to public opinion, to social usage. Ah! what a Moloch +that is that we've created, it devours our best. Yes ... a Moloch!" +he muttered half to himself, gazing on the floor. + +"Still, it's there, and we all suffer equally in turn. I know what +it is myself. I have been through it all." He stopped, gazing +fixedly at the beautiful crimson roses in the pattern of his Wilton +carpet. What visions swept before him of gleaming eyes and sweeping +brows, ruthlessly blotted out by a large, raw-boned figure and face +of aggressive chastity. "I am sorry for you, but there it is; +whatever the rights of the case, you can't make a scandal like +this." + +"I am ready to resign my post if necessary," returned Hamilton; "I +have enough to live on without my pay." + +The Commissioner started, and looked at him. + +"Is she so handsome as that?" he asked in a low tone, leaning a +little forward. Mrs. Commissioner was not there, and he was +forgetting officialdom. + +Hamilton hesitated a moment. Then he drew from his pocket a +photograph, taken by himself, of Saidie standing amongst her +flowers. + +The beautiful Eastern face, the lovely, youthful, sinuous figure, +veiled in its slight, transparent drapery, taken by an artist and a +lover in the clear, actinic Indian light, made an exquisite work of +art. It lay in the hand of the Commissioner, and he gazed on it, +remembering his long-past youth. + +After a long time Hamilton broke the silence. + +"Now, you know," he said at last, "why I am ready to resign my post +rather than resign _that_; and it is not only her beauty that +charms me, it is her devotion, her love.... Do you know, white or +black, superior or inferior, these two women are not to be +mentioned in one breath. The one you see there is a woman, the +other is a fiend." + +The Commissioner tried to look shocked, but failed; the smooth card +still lay in his hand, the lovely image impressed on it smiled up +at him. + +"I don't know but what you are right," he muttered savagely as he +handed it back to Hamilton. "These wives, damn 'em, seem to have no +other mission but to make a man uncomfortable." + +He got up and began to pace the room. He seemed to have forgotten +Hamilton and the official _rôle_ he himself had started to play. He +seemed absorbed in his own thoughts--perhaps memories. Hamilton sat +still, gazing at the card. + +Half-an-hour later the interview came to an end. Hamilton went away +to his office with a light heart, and a smile on his lips. The +Commissioner had given him some of his own reminiscences, and +Hamilton had sympathised. The two men had drifted insensibly onto +common ground, and the Commissioner finally had promised to help +Hamilton as far as he could. Hamilton was pleased. That he had +merely been twisting a piece of straw, that would be bent into +quite another shape when Mrs. Commissioner took it in hand, did not +for the moment occur to him. That night Saidie danced for him in +the moonlight, and afterwards ran from him swiftly, playing at +hide-and-seek amongst the roses laughing, inviting his pursuit. In +and out behind the great clumps of boughain-villia gleamed the +lovely form, with hair unbound falling like a mantle to the waist. +Through the pomegranate bushes the laughing face looked out at him, +then swiftly vanished as he approached, and next a laugh and a +flash of warm skin drew him to the bed of lilies where he overtook +her, and they fell laughing on the mossy bank together. Wearied +with dancing and running and laughter, she sank into his arms +gladly, as Eve in the garden of Eden. + +"Let us sleep here," she murmured, looking up to the palm branches +over them defined against the lustrous sky. + +"See how the lilies sleep round us!" + +And that night they slept out in the moonlight. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +A month had gone by, and during that month, except for the time he +was with Saidie in the bungalow, Hamilton, had he been less of a +philosopher, would have been extremely uncomfortable. + +The Commissioner's wife had completely and entirely espoused the +cause of Mrs. Hamilton, and had insisted on her leaving the hotel +and coming to stay with her. Everywhere that the Commissioner's +wife went, riding or driving, Mrs. Hamilton accompanied her; and +whenever he met the two women, his wife threw him a mild, +reproachful glance of martyred virtue, while the Commissioner's +wife glared upon him in stony wrath. + +Hamilton took no notice of either glance, but passed them as if +neither existed. The Commissioner looked miserably guilty whenever +he encountered Hamilton's amused, penetrating eyes, and avoided +him as much as possible. The Commissioner's house was completely +shut to him; he never approached it now except on official +business, and nearly every house in the station followed its +example. The story of Mrs. Hamilton's woes and wrongs had spread +all over the community, and proved a theme of delightful and +never-ending interest to all the ladies of the station. They were +unanimous in supporting her. Not one voice was raised in favour of +Hamilton. He was a monster, a heartless libertine, given over to +all sorts of terrible vices. Tales of the fearful doings in the +desert bungalow, where Hamilton and Saidie lived the gay, bright, +joyous life of two human beings, happily mated, as Nature intended +all things to be, spread over the station, and the stony stare of +the women upon Hamilton, when they met him, mingled insensibly with +a shrinking horror that greatly amused him. + +Nobody spoke to him except in his business capacity. Every one +avoided him. He was practically ostracised. Mrs. Hamilton, on the +other hand, went everywhere, and thoroughly enjoyed herself in the +_rôle_ of gentle forgiving martyr that she played to perfection. +Being plain and unattractive to men, she was thoroughly popular +with the women, and they were never tired of condoling with her on +having such a brute of a husband. What more natural, poor dear! +than that she should refuse to live with him in India, if the +climate did not suit her? So unreasonable of him to expect it! The +question of a family, too! why, what woman was there now who did +not hate to have her figure spoiled, and object to be always in the +sick-room and nursery? So natural that she did not wish those +disagreeable passionate relationships: a man could not expect that +sort of thing from his wife! And then the money, too! she had never +had more than half his income all these twenty years! It seemed to +them that she had been wonderfully good and resigned. + +Such was the talk at the afternoon teas, and the married men at the +club, coached by their wives, and being in the position of the fox +who had lost his brush, and wished no other fox to retain his, +condemned Hamilton quite as freely. + +"It was beastly rough on his wife," they agreed, "to set up a +black dancing-girl under her eyes." + +Hamilton cared not at all for the social life of the station, and +was greatly relieved by not having invitations to give or to +answer. All that he regretted was the ultimate resignation of his +post, which, he foresaw, would be the result of all this scandal +sooner or later. + +Saidie, with Oriental quickness, had soon grasped the whole +situation, and had flung herself at his feet in a passion of tears, +begging him to send her away or to kill her rather than let her +presence make him unhappy. Hamilton had some difficulty in turning +her mind from the resolve to kill herself by way of serving him; +and it was only his solemn oath to her that she was the one single +joy and happiness of his life, that with her in his arms he cared +about nothing else, that if he lost her his life was at an end, +which pacified and at last convinced her. + +Another month went by, and Mrs. Hamilton began to tire of her +position. She felt she was not making Hamilton half unhappy enough. +She had had but one idea, and that was to separate him from Saidie, +and in this she had failed. He had not even been turned out of his +post. He had been expelled from the social life of the station; but +she knew he would not feel that, that he would only welcome the +greater leisure he had to spend in his Eden with _her_. To play the +martyr for a time had been interesting, but its pleasure was +beginning to wane; moreover, she could not stay permanently with +the Commissioner's wife. She grew restless: she must carry out her +plan somehow. When Hamilton's life was completely wrecked, she +would be ready to return to England--not till then; and she lay +awake at nights grinding her long, narrow, wolf-like teeth together +as she thought of Hamilton in the desert bungalow. + +One morning, after a nearly sleepless night, she got up and looked +critically at her face in the glass. Old and haggard as usual it +looked; but to-day, in addition to age and care, a specially evil +determination sat upon it. + +"Life is practically done with," she thought, looking at it. "I +have only this one thing to care about now, and I'll do it somehow +before I go. If I can't enjoy my life, he shan't enjoy his." + +She turned from the glass, and commenced dressing. The evil look +deepened on her face from minute to minute, and the word "Beast!" +came at intervals through her teeth. + +Outside the window of her charming room all was waking in the +joyous dawn of the East. Long shadows lay across the velvet green +slopes of the Commissioner's lawn as the sun rose behind the +majestic palms that shaded it; floods of golden light were rippling +softly over roses and stephanotis, opening bud after bud to the +azure above them; the gay call of the birds rang through the clear +morning air; the perroquets swung in ecstasy on the bamboo +branches, crying out shrill comments on each other's toilet. The +scent of a thousand blossoms rose up like some magic influence, +stealing through the sparkling sunlight into the room, and played +round the thin face of the woman within, but it could make no +message clear to her. Every sense of hers had long been sealed to +all joy by hate. + +At breakfast she announced her intention of leaving India by the +following mail, and not all the kind pressure brought to bear upon +her by the Commissioner's wife could induce her to postpone her +departure. She was gentle, calm, and resigned in manner, as usual, +excessively grateful for all they had done for her, and the +kindness shown her. She spoke very sweetly of her husband, told +them how she had hoped by coming out to induce him to leave the +evil life he was leading; but she saw now that these things lay in +higher hands than hers, and she felt all she could do was to pray +and hope for him in silence. + +"Why don't you divorce him?" broke in the Commissioner abruptly and +quickly, anxious to get it out before his wife could stop him. He +tugged violently at his moustache, waiting for her answer. If she +would do that, he was thinking, what a relief for that poor devil +Hamilton! + +"Divorce him?" returned Mrs. Hamilton resignedly. "Never! It is a +wife's duty to submit to whatever cross Providence lays upon her, +but divorce seems to me only the resource of abandoned women." + +The Commissioner's wife nodded her head in majestic approval. The +Commissioner got up abruptly, breakfast being concluded. He said +nothing, but his mental ejaculation was, "Old hag! knows she +couldn't get any one else, nor half such a handsome allowance!" + +The day for Mrs. Hamilton's departure came, and on its morning +Hamilton found a note from her on his office desk. He took it up +and opened it with a feeling of repulsion. + + "DEAR FRANK,--I am leaving by the noon boat for England. They + seem to have altered their time of sailing to twelve instead + of seven P.M. + + "I am sorry my visit here has caused you trouble. Do not be + too hard on me. I am leaving now, and do not intend to worry + you again. You must lead your own life until, perhaps, some + day you wish to return to me. You will find me ready to + welcome you. Good-bye, and forgive any pain I have caused + you.--Your affectionate wife, + JANE." + +Hamilton read this note with amazement, and a sense of its falsity +swept over him, as if a wind had risen from the paper and struck +his face. But as men too often do, he tried to thrust away his +first true instincts, and replace their warning with a lumbering +reason. He sat deep in thought, gazing at the table before him. If +it were true, if she were really going, if she really meant +good-bye, what a relief! But it was impossible, unless, indeed, she +had accomplished her plan, and had heard that he had been, or was +about to be dismissed from his post. + +This seemed to throw a light upon the matter, and with the idea of +finding confirmation of this in some of the other letters awaiting +him, he started to go through them. It was a heavy post-bag, and +gave him much to attend to. He went through the letters, but found +nothing relative to himself in them, and settled down to his work. +Twelve, one, and two passed, and he looked up at the clock, +wondering if she were really gone. He seemed to have no inclination +for lunch, so he worked on without leaving the office, and only +rose to clear his desk when it was time to leave for the day. +To-morrow he would learn definitely what passengers the out-going +boat had carried. He would not stay this evening to find out. He +felt ill, listless; he only wanted to be back with Saidie in the +restful shade of the palms. + +As he rode across the desert that evening an indefinable depression +hung over him. Never since he had found Saidie had that melancholy, +once so natural, come back to him. Her spirit, whether she were +absent or present, seemed always with him--a gay, bright, beautiful +vision ever before his eyes, giving him the feeling that he was +looking always into sunlight. But to-night there seemed emptiness, +gloom about him. + +"It's the weather," he muttered, and looked upward to the curious +sky. It was gold, gleaming gold; but close to the horizon lay two +bright purple bars, like lines of writing in the West: the prophecy +of a storm, and the heat seemed to hang in the air that not a +faintest breath moved. + +Swiftly and evenly the great camel bore him, its well-beloved +master, over the rippling sand towards the palms in the golden +west, but the approaching night travelled faster than they, and it +was quite dark, with a sullen heavy darkness, before they reached +the bungalow. It seemed very quiet, with an indefinable sense of +stillness in the garden and wide hall. Neither Saidie nor any +servant came to meet him, and it was quite dark: no lamp had been +lighted. With a sudden throb of terror in his heart, Hamilton +paused and called "Saidie." + +There was no response, no sound. Striking a match, Hamilton +deliberately lit a lamp. Some great evil was upon him, and with a +curious calmness he went forward to meet it. He went upstairs and +pushed open the door of their bedroom, shielding the light with his +hand and seeking first with his eyes the bed. Saidie lay there: the +exquisite form, in its transparent purple gauze, lay composed upon +the bed, a little to one side. The glorious hair, unbound, rippled +in a dark river to the floor; the head rested sideways as in sleep, +upon the pillow. In silence Hamilton approached; near the bed his +foot slid suddenly; he looked down; there was a tiny lake of +scarlet blood, blackening at its edges, blood on the wooden +bedstead side, blood on the purple muslin over the perfect breasts. +Hamilton, his body growing rigid, put out his hand to her forehead; +it was cold. He set down the lamp and turned her face towards it, +putting his arm under her head. Her lips were stone colour, the +lids were closed over the eyes; the face was the face of death. + +In those moments Hamilton realized that his own life was over. +Saidie was dead--murdered. The world then was simply no more for +him. All was finished: he himself was a dead man. Only one thing +remained, one duty for him. To avenge her! Then utter rest and +blackness. He looked round thinking. The room was quite empty, +undisturbed. The great pearls on Saidie's neck were untouched. They +gleamed gently in the pale light from his lamp. No robber, no +outsider had been here. Then, in the darkened room, leapt up before +him the truth: a white, blonde face seemed looking at him from the +walls--the thick pale lips, the half-closed sinister eyes, the lean +long figure of his wife rose before him. + +"But she was to leave by the morning's boat," he muttered. Then +... a thought struck him. He withdrew his arm gently from the +passive head, lighted another lamp, putting it on a bracket in the +wall, and left the room, descending to the vacant hall. He went to +the verandah and called to his servants. They came, a trembling +crowd, with upraised hands, and fell flat before him, weeping and +striking their heads on the ground. + +"It is not our fault, Light of Heaven, Father of the Poor, the +Mem-Sahib came--the white Mem-Sahib. We are poor men; we have no +fault at all." + +Hamilton listened for a moment to the storm of words and protesting +cries. Then he raised his hand and there was silence, but for a +sound of rising wind without and the sobbing of the natives. + +"Pir Bakhs," he said to the head of them all, the butler, "tell me +all you know. Your mistress is dead. Who is responsible?" + +The butler came forward and fell at his master's feet with clasped +hands. + +"Lord of the Earth, I know nothing but this. At five all was quiet +in the house, and our mistress sat in the garden singing. Then +came to the door two runners with a palanquin. They asked to see +our mistress. I said wait. I went to the garden. I said the white +Mem-Sahib has come in a palanquin. My mistress said, 'I will see +her.' She went to the drawing-room, and the white Mem-Sahib came +in, and they drank tea together. Your servant is a poor man, and he +saw no more till the runners went away with the palanquin. So we +said, 'The white Mem-Sahib has gone,' and my mistress said to me +she felt drowsy and must sleep, and went upstairs to the Light of +Heaven's room and shut the door. And your servant was laying the +table in your honour's dining-room a little later, and he went to +close the jillmills,[1] for the wind was rising, and your servant +saw through the jillmill the white Mem-Sahib again getting into her +palanquin that had appeared once more at the back, and the runners +ran with it very fast into the desert; then your servant ran out to +ask the other servants why the white Mem-Sahib had come back, and +the ayah met him at the door and said she had found our mistress +killed in her room; and your honour's servant is a poor man, and +has wept ever since." + +[Footnote 1: Wooden shutters.] + +Hamilton listened in perfect silence. The man's face was lined with +grief, the tears rolled in streams down his livid cheeks. A wail +went up from the other servants at his words. Hamilton and his +mistress were their idols, and his grief was very real to +themselves. + +Hamilton stretched out his hand to the trembling man with a benign +gesture. + +"Pir Bakhs, I believe you. You have served me many years, and never +lied to me. This is another's work, not yours. Be at peace. You +have no fault." + +The butler wept louder, and the others wailed with him, calling +upon Heaven to bless their master and avenge their mistress. + +Hamilton turned from them to the dark dining-room, which he crossed +to the hall; through this he walked in the darkness as a blind man +walks, to the entrance. + +He tore the wood-work door open, wrenching it from its hinges, and +looked out into the night. A dust-storm was raging in the desert +beyond the compound, and its stinging blasts of wind, laden with +sand, drove heavily over the exquisite masses of bloom, the +glorious and delicate scented blossoms of the garden. It tore off +the flowers remorselessly, and even for the moment he stood there, +a rain of thin, white, shredded petals was flung into his face. The +branches of the trees groaned and whined in the thick darkness, the +swish of broken and bent bamboo came from all sides, the roar of +the dust driven through the foliage filled his ears. The garden, +the beautiful, sheltered garden, scene of their delights, was being +ruthlessly destroyed, even as his life had been; it was expiring in +agony, even as he would shortly expire: to-morrow it would be +desolate, a shattered wreck under the dust, even as he, in a little +while--But something should be done first. + +Leaving the doorway open, letting the dust-laden wind tear +shrieking through the silent house, he plunged into the roaring +darkness. He took the centre path that led straight to the compound +gate. The unhappy bushes and tortured branches of the trees, bent +and twisted by the onrushing wind, lashed his face and body as he +went down the path. He did not feel their stinging blows. On, on to +the desert he went blindly but steadily in the thick darkness. + +When he got beyond the compound gate, out of the shelter of the +garden, the weight of the wind almost bore him down; but as he +faced its blast, his eyes saw, not so very far, out on the plain, +dull in the whirling mist, the dancing uncertain light of a carried +lantern. As the tiger darts forward on its prey, as the snake +springs to the attack, Hamilton leapt forward into the wall of wind +that faced him and ran at the dancing light. + +Choked with sand, blinded, suffocated and breathless, but full of +power to kill, he was on it at last, and flung himself with sinewy +hands on the swaying, covered sedan chair, between the two bearers, +who, bewildered and helpless in the sudden storm, were groping +slowly across the plain. With a shriek they dropped the handles, as +Hamilton flung himself suddenly on the chair; the lantern fell into +the sand and went out. The natives, thinking the devil, the actual +spirit of the storm, had overtaken them, fled howling into the +blackness, their cries swallowed up like whispers in the roar of +the wind. As the chair struck the sand, the woman within thrust her +head with a cry through the open side. Hamilton seized it by the +neck. Out! out of the sedan chair, through the burst-open door, he +pulled the wretched creature by her head, and then flung her with +all his force upon the sand. + +The raging wind swept past them in sheets of dust, bellowing as it +went. He knelt on her body; his hands ground into her neck. Through +the darkness he saw beneath him the thin, white oval of the face, +with its eyes bulging, starting out of the head, its lips writhing +in agony; two white hands beat helplessly in the black air beside +him. He looked hard into her eyes, bending down to her close, very +near, as his hands sank deeper into her neck, his fingers locked +more tightly round it. In a few seconds the light of the eyes went +out, the hands ceased to beat the air. Saidie was avenged. With a +laugh that rang out into the noise of the storm, the man got up +from the limp body and stood by it, in the echoing darkness. Then +he kicked it, so that it rolled over, and the sand came up in +waves eager to bury it. + +In an hour woman, sedan chair, lantern would all be beneath a level +plain of sand. + +He turned back towards the bungalow. "Saidie," he murmured, and the +storm-wind seemed to rave "Saidie!" "Saidie!" round him, to whirl +the name upwards to the dim stars, glimmering one here and there, +far off and veiled in the heavens. He went back; the wind helped +him. On its wings he seemed borne back to his house, through the +tortured garden, through the gaping doorway, over the shattered +door he passed, and then up the stairs to their room. + +After the inferno of the desert the inside of the house seemed +quiet, and in their room the lamps burned steadily, but low. Their +oil was used up, their life, like his, was nearly done. The bed +stood there and on its calm white stillness lay Saidie, waiting for +him, for him alone, as always. + +He went up to her and stood there. + +"Saidie?" but she did not answer. He lay down beside her gently, so +as not to break her slumber, and then drew her to his breast. Ah +his treasure! his world! Surely now all was well since she was +safe in his arms! He did not feel the deathly coldness. There was a +whizzing in his brain where Nature had laid her finger on a vein, +and broken it that he might be released from sorrow and die. + +"Saidie?" he murmured again as her breast pressed his, and put his +lips to hers. + +As his life had first dawned in her kiss, so it went back now to +the lips that had given it, and in that kiss he died. + + + + +II + + +There was complete silence in the large room, filled with long, +wavering shadows that the flickering firelight chased over the +walls and amongst the gilt-edged tables. + +Beyond the windows the dusk was gathering quickly in the wind-swept +street, beneath the leaden sky. From the pane nearest the fire a +side-light fell across a man's figure leaning against the corner of +the mantel-shelf. A ruddy glow from the hearth struck upon the silk +skirt of a girl leaning back in the easy-chair beneath the other +corner. + +Her face is lost in the shadow. + +He is a good-looking fellow, very. The high white collar that shows +up in the dusk is fastened round a long, well-set neck; the figure +in the blue serge suit is straight and pleasing, and the shoulders +erect and slim. + +The girl's eyes, looking out of the shadow, take in these points, +and the pleasure they give her seems inextricably confused with +dull pain. Her gaze passes on to his face, and rests eagerly, +almost thirstily, upon it. + +There is light enough still to show her its well-cut oval, spoiled +now by the haggard falling in of the cheeks, the lines in the +forehead, and the swellings beneath the eyes. + +He shifts his position a little and glances through the window. His +eyes are full of irritation, and the girl knows it, though they are +turned from her. She gives a suppressed, inaudible sigh; his +attitude now brings out the impatient discontent on his mouth and +the rigid determination of the chin. + +"I suppose you mean two people can live upon nothing?" His voice is +cold, even hostile, and he speaks apparently to the panes, but the +tones are well-bred and pleasing; and again the girl wonders dimly +which is the predominating sensation in her--pleasure or pain. + +"No," she says, in rather a suffocated voice. "But I say, if either +person has enough, or the two together, it does not matter which +has it, or which has the most." + +Silence, which her hesitating, timid voice breaks at last. + +"Does it?" + +"Yes, I think it does," he answered shortly. "The man must have +enough to support both, or he has no right to marry at all." + +The girl's hands lock themselves together convulsively, unseen +behind her slight waist, laced so skilfully into the fashionable +bodice. + +There is a hard decision in the incisive tones that does not belong +to the mere expression of a general theory--a cold authority and a +weight of personal conviction that turns the words into a statement +of rigid principle. + +The girl feels almost dizzy, and she closes her hot eyelids +suddenly to shut out the line of that hard, obstinate chin. + +"People's ideas on what is enough to support both vary so much," +she says quietly, with well-bred indifference in her tone, while +her heart beats wildly as she waits for his next remark. + +"Well, what would you consider enough yourself?" he says coldly, +after a slight pause, turning a little more towards her. + +The red light glows steadily on her skirts, and he can see the +graceful outline of her knees under them, and one small foot upon +the hearthrug; the rest of the form is veiled in the shadow, except +one rounded line of a shoulder and the glint of light hair above. + +He looks down at her, and there seems a sudden, nervous expansion +in his frame; outwardly there is not the faintest impatient +movement. He waits quietly for her reply. + +The girl hesitates as she looks at him. To her, in her absorbing +love for the man before her, the question is an absurd mockery. + +To reduce to a certain number of pounds this "enough," when for her +anything or nothing would be enough! + +"I would rather starve to death in your arms than live another day +without you," is the current running under all her thoughts, and it +confuses them and makes it difficult for her to speak. + +What shall she answer? To name a sum too small in his eyes will +be as great an error as to name one too large. He would only +think her a silly, sentimental girl, who knows nothing of what +she is talking about, and who has no knowledge and appreciation +of the responsibilities of life. + +Besides, to name a very small income will be to conjure up before +his eyes the picture of a mean, pitiful, sordid existence, from +which she feels, with painful distinctness, he would turn with +disgust. + +Poor? Yes, he has told her that he is poor, and she believes it; +but somehow--by contracting debt, probably--she thinks, as her +keen, observant eyes sweep over him, he manages at present to live +and dress as a gentleman. + +Those well-cut suits, those patent shoes and expensive cigarettes; +these things, she feels instinctively, must be preserved for him, +or any form of life would lose its charm. + +At the same time, she must mention something that is not hopelessly +beyond him. She recalls her own two hundred; surely, at the least, +he must be making one. + +"I can hardly say," she murmured at last, "because personally I +think one can live on so very little; but I suppose most people +would say--well, about three hundred pounds a year." + +"Oh! three hundred a year," he says, stretching out his hand for +the tea-cup on a low table beside him. The tea has grown cold in +the discussion of abstract questions. He takes the cup and sits +down deliberately in the corner of the couch opposite her, and +stirs the tea slowly. + +"How much is that a week? Five pounds fifteen, isn't it? Well, now, +go on, see what you can make of it. Your house--the smallest--and +servants--" + +"House and servants!" interrupts the girl, "but why have a house +and servants at all?" + +"I don't know," he rejoins curtly, "because the girl generally +expects those things when she marries." + +"Not all girls," she says, and one seems to hear the smile with +which she says it in her voice. + +"You mean rooms?" he says quickly, with a gleam of pleasure +breaking for a moment across his face. + +"Well--say rooms--you would want three--thirty shillings, I +suppose, at the least, and then another thirty for board. That +leaves two fifteen for everything else." + +"Surely that's a good deal." + +"Oh, I don't know; think of one's clothes," and Stephen stares +moodily into the fire, with a pricking recollection of a tailor's +bill for twenty odd in his drawer at home now. + +Then, to remove the impression of selfish extravagance he feels he +may have given, he adds: + +"And a man wants to give his wife some amusement, and three hundred +a year leaves nothing for that." + +"Amusement!" the girl repeats, starting up and standing upright, +with one elbow just touching the mantelpiece, and the firelight +flooding her figure from the slim waist downwards. "What amusement +does a woman want if she is in love with the man she is living +with? The man himself is her amusement! To watch him when he is +occupied, to wait for him when he is away, to nurse him when he is +ill--that is her amusement: she does not want any other!" + +Stephen stares at the flexible form, and listens to the words that +he would admire, only the cynical suspicion is in his mind that she +is talking for effect. His general habit was to consider all women +mercenary and untrustworthy. Deep in his heart--for he had a heart, +though contracted from want of use--lay a hungry desire to be +loved, really loved for himself; and the very keenness of the +longing, and the anxiety not to be deceived, lessened his powers of +penetration, and blinded him to the girl's character. + +He laughs slightly. "You are taking a theatrical view of the whole +thing!" + +"How do you mean?" + +"Oh, well, that the wife really loves her husband and sticks to him +through everything, and they pass through unheard-of difficulties +together, and so on"; but he adds, with a faint yawn: "I've always +noticed that when the money goes the love disappears too. There's +no love where there's abject poverty." + +"But three hundred a year is not abject poverty," answers the girl +in a quiet tone, not denying his theory for fear of being called +again theatrical. + +"No," he admits. "Oh, it might do very well as long as there were +only two; but then, when there are children, it means a nurse, and +all sorts of expenses." + +He says the words with a simplicity and directness that makes the +girl almost catch her breath. For these two were not on intimate +terms with each other, not even terms of intimate speaking. + +Nothing had passed between them yet but the merest society phrases, +and before a certain quiet dinner one month back neither knew of +the other's existence. Since then some chance meetings on the +beach, the parade, the pier, a few long afternoon rows, between +then and now: these are the only nourishment the flame in either +breast has received--a flame kindled in a few long glances across +the dinner-table. + +But this afternoon he has laid aside the customary phrases and +deliberately commenced the present conversation. + +True, it is purely an abstract one--all theory and hypotheses. No +one could say otherwise if it were repeated. Not a personal word +has been uttered on either side; but the girl feels in the +determined tone of his voice, in the studied way he started it, in +the cold precision with which he follows it, that it is practically +a test conversation of herself, and that she is virtually passing +through an examination. + +He has come this afternoon with a set of certain questions that he +means to put, to all of which her answers are received without +comment, and mentally noted down. + +He neither repeats himself, nor presses a point, nor leaves out +anything on his mental list, nor allows any remark to lead away +from it. + +He has also certain things he means to say, which he will say, as +he asks his questions, deliberately, one after the other; and then, +when he has heard and said all he intends, he will terminate the +conversation as decisively as he began it and go. The girl feels +all this, for her brain is as clear and keen as the glance of her +eyes. + +She knows that he is testing her: that she stands upon trial before +him. + +She has nothing to hide: only, that too great love and devotion, +that seems to swell and swell irrepressibly within her, and would +pour itself out in words to him, but that his tone, his manner, +his look keep it back absolutely, as a firm hand holds down the +rising cork upon the exuberant wine. And now, at this sentence +of his, her words fail her. They are strangers practically, that +is conventionally--quite strangers, she remembers confusedly--but +for this secret bond of passion, knit up between them, which both +can feel but both ignore. + +The natural male in him, and the natural female in her, are +already, as it were, familiar, but the fashionable man and girl are +strangers still. + +Then, now, how is she to say what she wishes to him? How can she +talk with this mere acquaintance upon this subject? The very word +"children" seems to scorch her lips. At the same time, familiarity +with him seems natural and unnatural; terrible, and yet simple. + +Then, too, what are his views? + +Will her next words shock him inexpressibly? + +In her passionate, excitable brain, inflamed with love for the man, +the idea of maternity can merely present itself like an unwelcome, +grey-clad Quaker at a banquet. + +She hesitates, choosing her words. She knows so little of the man +in front of her. His clothes, she sees, are of the newest cut, but +his notions may not be. + +At last her soft, weak, timid voice breaks the pause. + +"Do you think it necessary to have very large families?" + +"No, I don't," he answers instantly with the energy and alacrity of +one who is glad to express his opinion. "No, I don't, not at all." + +The girl's suspended breath is drawn again. Unlike himself in his +queries she presses her point home. + +"Don't you think those marriages are the happiest where there are +no children?" + +"Yes," he says decidedly, getting up and thrusting his hands into +his coat pockets. "Yes, I do--much the happiest." + +There is silence. It is too dark for either to see the other's +expression. He stands irresolutely for a minute or two, and then +says with a disagreeable laugh: + +"I should hate my own children! Fancy coming home and finding a lot +of children crying and screaming in the place." + +To this the girl says nothing, and Stephen, after a minute's +reflection, softens his words. + +"Besides, your wife's love, when she has children, is all given to +them." + +"Yes," murmurs her well-bred voice. "Oh, yes, one is happier +without them." + +Neither speak. They are agreed so far; there is a deep relief and +pleasure in the breast of each. + +"Well," he says at last, rousing himself, "I must go. I shall be +late for dinner." + +The girl leans down and stirs the fire into a leaping, yellow +blaze. It fills the room with light, and reveals them fully now to +each other. + +She makes no effort to detain him, and they look at each other, +about to part. + +The self-control of each is marvellous, and admirable for its mere +thoroughness and completeness. + +He has large eyes, and they stare down at her haggardly, as he +stands facing her in the light. The hungry, hopeless look in those +eyes and the drawn lines in his face go to the girl's heart, and to +herself it seems literally melting into one warm flood of sympathy. + +Ill! he looks ill and wretched, and she longs with a longing that +presses upon her, till it is like a physical agony, to give some +way to her feelings. + +"Dearest, my dearest!" she is thinking, "if I might only tell +you--even a little--" + +And Stephen stares at the soft face and warm lips, half-paralyzed +with desire to bend down and kiss them. How would a kiss be? how +would they--And so there is a momentary, barely perceptible pause, +filled with a painful intensity of feeling, to which neither gives +way one hair's breadth. Then he gives a curt laugh. + +"We have discussed rather a difficult problem and not settled it," +he says in a conventional tone. + +"It seems to me quite simple," murmurs the girl, with a throat so +dry that the words are hardly audible. + +He hears, but makes no reply beyond another slight laugh, as he +holds out his hand. The girl puts hers into it. There is a moderate +pressure only on either side, and then he goes out and shuts the +door, leaving the girl standing motionless--all the warm springs +in her heart frozen by his last cynical laugh. + +Brookes finds his way down the stairs, through the unlighted hall, +and lets himself out in the chill October air. + +He goes down the street feeling a confused sense of having +inflicted pain and left distress behind him, but his own sensation +of irritation, his own vexation and angry resentment against his +lot in life, all but obliterate it. + +For some seconds he walks on with all his thoughts merged together +in a mere desperate and painful confusion. "Only a hundred a year!" +is his plainest, most bitter reflection. "Five-and-twenty, and only +earning a hundred a year!" + +Brookes is not of a calm temperament. His nervous system is tensely +strung, and generally, owing to various incidental matters, +slightly out of tune, or at anyrate, feels so. + +His circulation is rapid, every pulse beats strongly, and the blood +flows hotly in his veins. + +His mental nature is of much the same order--passionate, excitable, +and impatient; but there is such a heavy curb-rein of control +perpetually upon it, that its three leading qualities jar inwardly +upon himself more than they show to outsiders. + +Even now the confused, excited disorder in his brain is soon +regulated and calmed by his will, and as he walks on he lapses into +trying to recollect whether he has said all he meant to. + +He concludes that he has, and a certain satisfaction comes over +him. + +"Well, I have told her my views now," he reflects. "She sees what I +think, and what my principles are. She won't wonder that I say +nothing. I shall try for another post and a rise of salary, and +then--" + +Stephen's character was a fine one in its way. The capacity for +self-command and self-denial was tremendous, his sense of honour +keen, his adherence to that which he conceived the right +inflexible, his will immutable; but of the subtler sweetness of +the human heart he had none. + +Of sympathy, the divine [Greek: sym, pathos], _the suffering with_, +he had not the vaguest conception: of its faint and poor +reflections, pity and mercy, he had but a dim idea. + +He stuck as well as he could to what he thought was the right +path, and as to the feelings of others, he could not be blamed for +not considering them, for he had never practically realized that +they had any. + +In the present circumstances he had a few, fine, adamantine rules +for conduct, which he was going to steadfastly apply, and he +thought no more of the girl's feelings under them than one thinks +of the inanimate parcel one is cording with what one knows is good, +stout string. + +In his eyes it was distinctly dishonourable for a man to engage a +girl to himself without a reasonably near prospect of marriage. + +It was also decidedly ungentlemanly to propose to a girl if she had +money and you had none. Moreover, it was extremely selfish to +remove a girl from a comfortable position to a poorer one, though +she might positively swear she preferred it; and lastly, it was +unwise for various reasons, to be too amiable to the girl, or to +give any but the dimmest clue to your own feelings. + +There was no telling--your feelings might change even--when you +have to wait so long--and then it was much better, _for the girl_, +that she should not be tied to you. + +To visit the girl frequently, to hang about her to the amusement of +onlookers, to keep alive her passion by look and hint and innuendo, +to excite her by advances when he was in the humour, and studiously +repulse her when she made any, to act almost as if he were her +_fiancé_, and curtly resent it if she ever assumed he was more than +an ordinary friend--this line of action he saw no fault in. The +above were his views, and they were excellent, and if the girl +didn't understand them she might do the other thing. + +Some weeks passed, and the man and the girl saw each other +constantly--three or four times in the week, perhaps more; and the +inward irritation grew intense, while their outward relations +remained unchanged. + +There was a certain brutality that crept into the man's tones +occasionally when he addressed her, a certain savage irritability +in manner, that told the girl's keen intelligence something; some +involuntary sighs of hers as she sat near him, and an increasing +look of exhaustion on her face, that told him something. But that +was all. + +There were no tender passages between them; none of the +conventional English flirting--matters were too serious, and the +nature of each too violent to permit of that. A little bitter, +more or less hostile, conversation passed between them on the +most trifling subjects in his long afternoon calls. A little +music would be attempted--that is, he would sing song after song, +while she accompanied him, but a song was rarely completed. +Generally, before or at the middle, he would seize the music in a +gust of irrepressible and barely-veiled irritability, and fling +it on the piano--yet they attempted the music with unwavering +persistence, and both rose to go to the instrument with mutual +alacrity. + +There they were close to each other--so close that the warmth and +breath of their beings were interchanged. There in the pursuit of a +fallen sheet of music, his head bent down and touched hers. Once, +apparently to regain the leaf, his hand and arm leaned hard upon +her lap. One second, perhaps, no more; but the girl's whole +strained system seemed breaking up at the touch--her control +shattered, like machinery violently reversed. + +The music leaf was replaced, but her hands had fallen nerveless +from the keys. + +"It is hot. I can't go on playing. Put the window open, will you, +for me?" + +Stephen walked to the window, raised it, and smiled into the dark. + +That night it seemed to Stephen he could never force himself to +leave the girl. He prolonged the playing past all reasonable +limits, until May's sister laughingly reminded him that they were +only staying in seaside lodgings, and other occupants of the house +must be considered. Stephen reluctantly relinquished the friendly +piano, and then stood, with May's sweet figure beside him, and her +upraised face clear to the side vision of his eye, talking to her +sister. + +At last, when every trifle is exhausted of which he can make +conversation, there comes a pause, a silence; he can think of +nothing more. He nerves himself, holds out his hand, and says, +"Good-night!" + +May, influenced equally by the same indomitable aversion to be +separated from him, follows him outside the drawing-room, and +another pause is made on the stair. By this time a fresh stock of +chaff and light wit is ready in Stephen's brain, and he makes use +of anything and everything to procure him another moment at her +side; but of all the passion within him, of the ardent, impetuous +impulse towards her, nothing, not the faintest trace, shows. + +A mere "Good-night!" ends their conversation at length, and the +girl did not re-enter the drawing-room, but passed straight up the +stairs to her own room. + +"Does he care? Does he care or not?" she asked herself, walking +ceaselessly backwards and forwards. "If I only knew that he did! +This is killing me; and suppose, after all, he does not care!" + +She almost reels in her walk, and then stretches her arms out on +her mantelpiece, and leans her head heavily upon them. + +"So this is being in love!" she thinks, with a faint satirical +smile. "All this anxiety and pain and feeling of illness! Why, it +is as if poison had been poured through me." + +Through the next day May lay pallid and silent on the couch, +without pretence of occupation, feeling too exhausted even to +respond to her sister's chaff and raillery. + +It was only at dinner, when her brother-in-law informed his wife he +was sick of the place, and that nothing would induce him to stay +more than another week, that a stain of scarlet colour appeared in +May's cheeks and a terrified dilation in her eyes. + +Her lids were lowered directly, and the blood receded again. She +made no remark, but at the close of dinner she excused herself, and +went upstairs alone. + +Once in her room, she stripped off her dinner-dress and shoes, and +re-dressed in morning things. Her hands trembled so violently that +she could hardly fasten her bodice over the wildly-expanding bosom. + +But her resolve was fixed. They were going in a week. To-morrow, +she knew, Stephen was leaving the place for a fortnight. She must +see him to-night. + +When she is completely dressed, she pauses for a moment to choke +down the terrible physical excitement that seems to rob her of +breath and muscular power. + +Then she passes downstairs quietly and goes out. + +The night is still, cold, and dark. + +May walks rapidly through the few streets that divide his house and +hers. + +The few men she meets turn involuntarily to glance after the +splendid form that goes by them, and in her decisive walk, in the +eyes blind to them, they feel instinctively she is already owned, +mentally or actually, by some one other. + +When she reaches Stephen's house, she learns he is in, and with a +great fear of him suddenly rushing over her, she sends word up to +him by the servant: Will he see her? + +While she waits in the hall, her message is taken upstairs. May +leans against the wall, a terrible sick faintness, born of +excitement and hysteria, coming suddenly upon her. + +There is a hall-chair, but her eyes are too darkened to see it; she +simply clings to the handle of the door, and lets her head sink +against the side of the passage. + +Brookes is upstairs with his brother and two friends; they have +been playing cards, but a game is just over, and the men have got +up to stretch themselves. + +Stephen himself is leaning back against the mantelpiece, as his +habit is, and yawning slightly. He has just been beaten, and he is +a man who can't play a losing game. + +"No," his brother remarks. "I didn't know what the deuce 'Ladas' +meant till I looked it up; did you, Steve?" + +"Oh, I should think every schoolboy would know that," is the curt +response, and at that moment the servant's knock comes at the door. + +"Please, sir, there's a lady as wants to see you," the girl says +with a perceptible grin. "She said she wouldn't come up, and she's +waiting in the hall, sir." + +There is a blank silence in the room. Brookes pales suddenly, and +his eyebrows, that habitually have a supercilious elevation, rise +still higher with annoyance. + +He hesitates a single second, then, without a word in reply, he +crosses the room towards the door, and the servant retreats +hastily. + +The men glance furtively at each other, but Stephen's devil of a +temper being well known, they forbear to laugh or even smile till +he is well out of the room. Brookes goes down the stairs with one +sentence only in his mind: Coming to my rooms, and making a fool +of me! + +He is annoyed, intensely annoyed, and that is his sole feeling. + +May is standing upright now in the centre of the hall under the +swinging lamp, and she watches him run lightly down the long flight +of stairs towards her with swimming eyes. + +What is there in that figure of his that has so much influence on +her senses? More, perhaps, even than his face, do the lines of his +neck and shoulders and their carriage please her. All the pleasure +she can ever realise in life seems contained for her in that slim, +well-made frame, in its blue serge suit. + +She makes one impetuous step forward, her whole form dominated, +impelled by the surge of ardent feelings within her, and holds out +one trembling, burning hand. Stephen, with a confused sense of its +being awfully bad form that she should be standing in his hall, +takes it in his right hand, feeling hastily for the lucifers with +his left. + +"Er--come into the dining-room, won't you?" he says, with the +familiar, supercilious accent that with him is the expression of +suppressed annoyance and slight embarrassment. + +He knows the rooms are unlet, and with gratitude for this +providential circumstance in his thoughts, and his heart beating +violently with sudden excitement now he is actually in her +presence, he turns the handle of the door and sets it wide open. + +He strikes a match and holds it up, leaning back against the door, +for her to pass in before him. + +As she does so, their two figures for one second almost touch each +other, and a sudden glow lights up in his veins. He feels it, and +it warns him instantly to summon his self-control. That before +everything. + +The next moment he follows her into the room, lights the gas, +returns to the door, closes it, and then comes back towards the rug +where she is standing. + +By this time his command is his own. His face is as calm as a mask. +His large eyes, somewhat bloodshot now from hours of smoking and a +sleepless night, rest upon her with cold enquiry. + +She has seen them once, met them once, fixed, liquid, with +passionate longing upon hers; desperately she seeks in them now for +one gleam of the same light, but there is none. They and his face +are cloaked in a cold reserve. Sick, and with her heart beating to +suffocation, she says, as he waits for her to explain her presence: + +"We are--going away." + +Stephen's heart seems to contract at the words he had so often +dreaded to hear, heard at last. + +His thoughts take a greyer hopelessness. + +"Oh, really!" he says merely, the shock he feels only slightly +intensifying his habitual drawl. "Not immediately, I hope?" + +Nothing to the nervous, excited, over-strained girl before him +could be more galling, more humiliating, more crushing than the +cold, conventional politeness of his tones and words. + +This frightful fence of Society manner that he will put between +them--a slight, delicate defence, is as effectual as if he caused a +precipice by magic to yawn between them. + +"No--not--not--quite immediately, but soon," she falters. "And it +seems as if I could not exist if--I--never see you." + +There is a strained pause while they stand facing each other. He +is motionless; one hand rests in his pocket, the other hangs +nerveless at his side. + +They look at each other. Each is thinking of the supreme +delight--even if momentary--the other's embrace could give if--but +the conditions in the respective minds are different--in his: "If I +thought it wise;" in hers: "If he only would." + +"Well, we can write to each other," he says at last. + +"Oh, but what are letters?" the girl says passionately; and then, +urged on hard by her love for him, her intuition of his love for +her, and her common-sense instinct not to throw away her life's +happiness for a misunderstanding or petty feeling of pride, she +adds: "You know--don't you?--that I care for you more than anything +else in the world." + +Her tones are sharp with the intensity of feeling, and she +stretches both hands imploringly a little way towards him. + +He sees them quiver and her face whiten, and the frightened appeal +increase in her pained eyes searching his face, and it is a +marvel--later, he marvels at it himself--how, with his own passion +keen and alive in him, he maintains his ground. But there is +something in the whole scene that jars upon him--something +theatrical that makes the thought flash upon him: Is it a got-up +thing? + +This puts him on the defensive directly; besides, he resents her +coming to him in this way, and endeavouring to surprise from him +words he has already explained to her he is unwilling to say. + +She is trying to rush him, he puts it to himself; and the thought +rouses all his own obstinacy and self-will. + +When he chooses he will speak, and not before. + +"It is very good of you to say so," he answers quietly, in a cold +formal tone, and the girl quivers as if he had struck her. + +Now, in his lonely, sleepless nights, the misery on the white face +comes back and back to him in the darkness of his room, but then he +is blind to it. + +In an annoyed mood to begin with, irritated beyond bearing by his +own helpless, ignominious position, as he fancies, he has no +perception left for his own danger of losing her. + +And the man, who had lived till five-and-twenty, desiring real +love, and not knowing it, deliberately trampled upon it without +recognising what he did. + +His words cut the girl terribly. + +It seems impossible for the second that she can force herself to +speak again to him, but the terrible, irrepressible longing within +her nerves her for one more effort. + +"Is that all you can tell me? Do you not care for me at all?" + +He looks at her and hesitates. So modest, so appealing, so timid, +and yet so passionate! Surely this is genuine love for him. Why +thrust it back? But the thought recurs. No. She is rushing him; and +he declines to be rushed. Also a sort of half-embarrassment comes +over him, a nervous instinct to put off, ward off a scene in which +he will be called upon to demonstrate feelings he may not satisfy. + +He laughs slightly, and says: + +"Of course I do! I like you very much!" + +The tones are slighting and contemptuous, enough so to convey +the polite warning: Don't go any further, and force me to be +positively rude to you. + +Swayed by his strong physical passion, and blinded by the dogged +determination he has to remain master of it, he is absolutely +insensible of another's suffering. + +Had the girl had greater experience with men, more hardihood and +less modesty; if she could have approached him, and taken his hands +and pressed them to her bosom; if she had had the courage to force +upon him the mysterious influence of physical contact, Stephen's +control would have melted in the kindled fire. + +Words stir the brain, and through the brain, the senses; but with +some people it's a long way round. + +Touch stirs the nerves, and its flame runs through the body like a +flying pain. + +Stephen's physical nerves were far more sensitive than his brain, +and had the girl been a woman of the half-world, or even of the +world, she could have succeeded. But she was a girl; and her +modesty and innocence, the chastity of all her mental and physical +being, hung like dead weights upon her in the encounter. + +His words, his tones, his glance simply paralyze her--not +figuratively, but positively. Her physical power to move towards +him, to make a further appeal to him, is gone. Speech is dried upon +her lips, wiped from them as a handkerchief passed over them might +take their moisture. + +She looks at him, dumb, frenzied with the intense longing to throw +herself actually at his feet, but yet held back by some +irresistible power she cannot comprehend, any more than one can +comprehend the stifling, overpowering force in a nightmare. + +It is the simple result of her life, her breeding, her virtue, her +character, her habits of control and reserve. She is the +fashionable, well-brought-up girl, with all her sensitive instincts +in revolt against forcing herself upon a man indifferent to her, +and full of an overwhelming instinctive timidity that her desire is +wild to break down and cannot. + +She stares at him, lost in a sense of bitter pain. All her vigorous +life seems wrung with pain, and in that torture, in which every +nerve seems bruised and quivering, a faint smile twists at last the +pale, trembling lips. "You would have made a good vivisector!" she +says. Then, before he has time to answer, she turns the handle of +the door behind her, opens it and goes out. + +A second after the street door closes, and Stephen stands on the +dining-room mat, looking down the empty hall. Thoroughly disturbed +and excited, with all his own passion surging heavily through his +blood, and her last sentence--that he does not understand any more +than he understands his own cruelty--ringing in his ears, he +hesitates a minute, and then re-enters the dining-room, shuts to +the door, and walks savagely up and down. + +"Extraordinary girl!" he mutters. "What does she want? What can I +do? She knows I can say nothing at present, when I'm going into the +work-house myself! But what a splendid creature she is! Lots of +'go' in her. Well, I don't care. I'll have her one day; but there's +no use making a lot of talk about it now." + +May walked away from his doorstep, no longer a sane human being, +responsible for its actions. The whole physical, nervous system, +weakened by months of self-control, and night following night of +sleeplessness, was hopelessly dislocated now. + +The whole weight of her excited passion, flung back upon the +sensitive brain, turned it from its balance. It had been a +brilliant brain, and that very excitability that had lent its +brilliance was fatal to it now. + +The hopeless passion ran like a corroding poison through the +inflammable tissue. + +She had put the matter to the test, and found that truth of which +the mere possibility had been torture. He had absolutely rejected +her. "He could not care for me," she kept repeating, as the silent +air round her seemed full of his cold, short laughs. + +His passion for her was dead. It had existed, surely--those looks +of his, the sudden violence of his touch when there was any excuse +for the slightest contact with her--or had it all been some curious +dream? + +She could not tell now, but whether it had been or not, it was no +longer. To her that seemed the only explanation of his words and +tones. To the tender female nature the depth of brutality in the +passion of the male--that is, in fact, the very sign of it--remains +always an enigma. + +After the scene just passed, it seemed to the girl impossible, +ludicrous, to suppose that Stephen loved her. + +She had already made great allowance for him. She had a large share +of the gift of her sex--intuition; and she had understood more than +many women would have done, but to-night he had gone beyond the +limits of her imagination. + +"No man would be so intensely unkind to a woman he cared for," she +argued. "For nothing, when there is no need." + +She was not an unreasonable, nor selfish, nor silly girl. Had +Stephen told her he loved her, but that they must suppress their +passion, that she must wait, she would have obeyed him, and waited +months, years, gone down to her grave waiting, in patient fidelity +to him. Her qualities of control were as fine as his, and her +devotion to a man who loved her would have been limitless, but, +acting according to his views, Stephen had taken some trouble to +convince her he was not the man, and she was convinced. + +And being convinced, the vision of her life without him seemed just +then a dismal waste, impossible to face. + +In most of the actions of the human being, the physical state of +the person at the time is the principal factor, and May's whole +physical frame, violently over-strained, craved for rest--rest that +the excited brain could not give. Rest was the urgent demand +pressed by the breaking nervous system, and from these two +thoughts--rest, oblivion--grew the dangerous thought of Death. + +"Sleep and forget! but I can't," she thought, "and if I do, there +is the horrible awakening;" and again her fatigue suggested all the +past sleepless nights, and the craving of the body urged the brain +to find better means of satisfying it, in the same way as the +appetite for food forces the brain to devise methods for procuring +it. + +She walked on in a straight line from Stephen's house, and the road +happened to pass a post-office. May stopped and looked absently +through its lighted, notice-covered panes. + +"Send him a few lines," she thought; "because I am so stupid, I +could not tell him enough, and then--" + +She did not finish the sentence, but all beyond was blank peace. +She went in, bought a letter-card, and wrote:-- + + "I could have loved you devotedly, intensely, had you wished + it, but you have made it clear to-night that you do not want + love--at any rate, not mine. I have discovered that I have + courage enough to die, but not to live without you. I am going + to the sea now, and in an hour we shall be separated for ever. + I shall know nothing and you will care nothing, so it seems a + good arrangement. My last thought will be of you, my last + desire for you, my last breath your name." + +She fastened it with an untrembling hand, passed out of the office, +posted it, and went straight down a side street to the parade. + +The night was still, bound in a frosty silence. The temperature +sank momentarily, and the icy grip intensified in the air. +Overhead the sky was black, and glittered coldly with the winter +stars. Beside and behind her and before her not a living +creature's footstep broke the silence. The sea lay smooth, black, +and motionless on her left, like some huge sleeping monster. + +She walked on rapidly: a glorious, vigorous, living, youthful +figure, full of that tremendous activity of brain and pulse and +blood, so valuable when there is a use for it, so dangerous when +thrown back upon itself. + +"How I could have loved him, worshipped him, lived for him, had he +but wanted me!" is the one instinctive cry of her whole nature. + +At the first easy descent to the beach she turns from the parade, +and goes down, passing without hesitation from the light down to +the moist darkness of the beach. To get away into oblivion, to +escape from this maddening sense of pain, to lose it, let it go +from her like a garment in the black water, is her only impelling +instinct. + +She sees the glimmer of the water before her without a shudder. How +much dearer and more inviting it seems to her tired eyes than her +bed at home, where so many, many sleepless, anguished nights have +been spent! Here--rest and sleep, with no awakening to a grey and +barren to-morrow. The thought of Death is lost. Desire for the +cessation of pain is keener at its height than even the desire for +life. + +She stumbles on the wet, black beach at the water's edge, and then +finds where it is slipping like oil over the sand. + +She walks forward, and the chill of the water rises round her +ankles, then her knees, then her waist, and then she throws herself +face forwards on it, as she once thought to fling herself on his +breast. + +In a half-drunken satisfaction she stretches her arms out in it and +commences to swim towards the horizon. "Like his arms!" she thinks, +as the water encircles her. "Like his lips!" she thinks, as it +presses on her throat. "And as cold as his nature." + + * * * * * + +The following morning is calm and still--a perfect specimen of +wintry beauty. A light frost covers the ground and sparkles on the +trees. + +There is a faint chill in the clear air, a tranquil calm on the +gently rising and falling sea and in the lucid sky. + +The sunlight falling on Stephen's bed and across his sleeping face +shows a smile there, and his arm, lying on the coverlet--an arm +thinned by constant fever and night-sweats--rests, in his thoughts, +round her neck; that white neck so sweetly familiar in his dreams. + +After a time he wakes and yawns, and turns his head heavily towards +the window; and farther as the happy unconsciousness of sleep +recedes from his face, and recollection and intelligence come back +to it, more clearly show the haggard lines, traced all over it, of +self-repression, seaming and marking it at five-and-twenty. + +"Another day to be got through," he thinks merely, as Nature's most +precious gift--the light--pours glowing through the panes. + +When half-an-hour later he opens his door to take in his boots, he +finds two letters with them, and at the sight of one his heart +beats hard. + +The other is in the girl's handwriting, and he lays it on his +toilet-table, with the thought, "Asking me to go and see her, I +suppose," and turns to the other with a mad impatience. + +This is evidently the official letter with reference to his +post--the post that means to him but this one thing: her +possession. + +He bursts it open, and in less than two seconds his eye takes in +its news: he has the appointment. + +The blood leaps over his face, and an exultant fire runs through +his frame and along his veins. + +He replaces the letter quietly in its cover with but the slightest +tremor of his fingers. + +Then he gets up from the bedside and stands in the middle of the +room, looking through the sparkling panes. + +"I have her!" he is thinking. "Yes, by God! at last I have her!" + +The day is glorified; life is transfigured. + +Through his whole body mounts that boundless exhilaration of desire +on the point of satisfaction. Not momentary desire, easily and +recently awakened, but the long desire that has been goaded and +baited to fury through weeks and months of repression, and tempered +to a terrible acuteness in pain and suffering, like steel by flame. + +And now triumph, and a delight beyond expression, bounds like an +electrified pulse throughout all his strong, vigorous frame. + +The lines seem to fade from his face, the mouth relaxes, and then +he laughs, as he makes a step towards the window, flings it open, +and leans out into the keen air. + +"At last I can speak out decently. No one could think I cared for +her money, or any of that rot now. How unexpected!--this morning! +Now I can tell her I'm free, independent! I am glad I waited--it +was much better. Far better, as I said, to be patient. Last night I +almost--and now I'm very glad I didn't." + +He draws his head back, and turns to the glass to shave with a +light heart. + +As he does so, he sees her letter again, and picks it up. "You +darling!" he thinks, "I'll make you understand all now." + +Some miles westward of the pier, some fathoms deep, out of reach of +the quiet sunlight lying on the surface, tosses the girl's body, +senseless and pulseless, with all the million possibilities of +pleasure that filled those keen nerves and supple limbs gone out of +them for ever, and Stephen draws out her despairing letter of +eternal farewell, with a smile lighting up his handsome, pleasing +face. + +"Yes, it was much better to wait," he murmurs, "I don't approve of +rushing things!" + + + + +III + +CHAPTER I + + +It was morning on the Blue Nile. The turbulent blue river rolled +joyously between its banks, for it was high Nile, and a swift, +light breeze was blowing--the companion of the Dawn. The vault of +the sky seemed arched at a great height above the earth, springing +clearly, without any object to break the line from the horizon of +gold sand, and full of those white, filmy, light-filled gleaming +clouds that are one of the wonders and glories of Upper Egypt and +the Soudan. It was a morning and a scene to make a man's heart rise +high in his breast, and cry out, as his eyes turned from the +level-sanded desert floor, through sunlit space, to the vaulted +roof, "After all, the world is a good house to live in." + +Slowly the strong yellow sunlight poured over the plain, the bank +and the river, gilding every ripple; and, as the light grew, +hundreds of delicate shapes--the forms of the ibis and flamingo +and crane, and other river-fowl--became visible, crowding down the +dark banks, with flapping of white and crimson wings, and +stretching of legs, and opening of beaks, rustling down, shaking +their feathers, to bathe and drink of the Blue River. + +Wonderful light, and miraculous, gleaming, cloud-filled sky, and +wonderful birds preening their plumage and calling to each other, +and wonderful breeze-swept water, bluer than the bluest depths of +the Indian Ocean. + +It was still so early that, in the whole stretch of rollicking, +tumbling, buoyant waters between bank and bank, only one piece of +river-craft could be seen. This pushed onward, cleaving through the +little billows in the teeth of the morning breeze. It was a tiny +naphtha launch--a horrid, fussy, smoking little thing, cutting +through breeze and water, and diffusing a scent of oil and greased +iron in the pure and radiant air. A white bird on the bank looked +at it, and rose with a startled note of alarm, and a flight of +lovely-salmon-coloured colleagues followed. The others merely +looked up and paused, with their wings wide stretched, and then +went on calmly with their toilets--they had seen it before. + +In the launch, of which the whole centre was taken by the +naphtha-stove--the engine by courtesy--sat a young Englishman, +whose face had that frank, attractive look of one whose thoughts +are kindly, well disposed to all the world; and at stem and stern +stood, erect and silent, the white-clothed figure of a boy from +the Soudan. Lithe, graceful forms supported long necks and +straight-featured faces, black as if carved out of smooth ebony, +and contrasting strangely with the white turbans of stiff linen +twisted deftly into a high crest above the brows. Swiftly the +little boat ran on for a mile or two against wind, with its three +silent and motionless occupants; then one boy turned, and +pronounced solemnly the two words, "Mister, Omdurman!" + +This was accompanied with a gracious wave of his hand towards the +bank, as he leant forward to stop the engine, and his companion +turned the boat to land. + +Omdurman, as seen from the river level, looks like nothing but a +long streak of duller yellow on the real gold of the African sand. +Its tiny, square, flat-roofed mud-houses are not, with few +exceptions, higher than six feet, and there is nothing else save +them and their dreary, yellow-brown, muddy monotony in the whole +village: not a palm, not a flower, not one blade of grass, simply a +collection of low mud-houses, with trampled mud-paths between, and +here and there an open, brown, dusty square. + +The stillness and heat of the day were settling down now: the first +wild, cool youth of the morning was past, and the Englishman felt +the heat of the desert rise from the ground and strike his face, +like the blow of a flail, as he stepped on land. He expected the +Soudanese boys to follow, as they generally did on similar +excursions--one to secure the boat and sit and wait beside it, and +the other to accompany himself, carry his tripod and camera, and +act as guide and general escort. To-day the boy stood in the boat, +and addressed him earnestly: + +"Boat wanted by other misters: let us go back: take them. We make +much money; come again evening, take you home." + +"But, you young ruffians, what am I to do out here alone? I don't +know the way, and I want you to carry my things," expostulated the +Englishman, vainly trying to adjust a pair of blue goggles over his +eyes, smarting already in the intolerable glare from the sand, +while striving not to let drop his camera, fiercely cuddled under +one arm, and its tripod of steel legs and an overcoat balanced on +the other. + +The black remained for a moment impassive, statuesque, wrapped in +reflection. Then he brightened: + +"Me know," he said, suddenly springing from the boat. "Me take you +my house. Sister show you the way: sister carry mister's things." + +The Englishman stared for a moment into the eager, intelligent +face, strangely handsome, though in ebony. After all, do we not +think a well-carved table beautiful, although sometimes, even +because, it is in ebony? Then _he_ brightened: + +"Very good; take me to your house, and let me see your sister," he +said good-humouredly; adding inwardly, "If she's anything like you, +she'll be the very thing for the camera." + +They turned from the cool, rolling, billowy water inwards towards +the desert and the huts of Omdurman, and the heat rose up and +struck their cheeks each step they took. + + * * * * * + +Merla stood that morning at her hut doorway looking out--out +towards the river she could not see, for the banks rise and the +desert falls slightly behind them. She stood on the threshold, and +the sun beat on her Eastern face, and showed it was very good. She +was sixteen, and, like her brothers who ran the naphtha launch for +the English, she was straight and erect, tall and lithe and supple, +with a wonderful stateliness and majesty of carriage, though she +had never been taught deportment nor attended physical culture +classes. Merla was beautiful, with the perfect beauty of line that +belongs to her race, and possessed the straight, high forehead, the +broad, calm brow that tells of its intelligence and nobility. She +knew, however, nothing of her own beauty. She never cared for +staring into the little squares of glass that the girls of the +village would buy in the market-place, nor coveted the long strings +of blue glass beads that the Bishareens brought in such numbers to +sell in Omdurman; nor did it specially please her to lay the beads +against her neck, and see them slide up and down on her smooth skin +as she breathed, though her companions would thus sit for hours +cross-legged before their little mirrors, breathing deep to note +how their beads rose and fell and glistened in the light. + +Merla loved much better to steal out of the hut at night, when the +oil-lamp smoked against the mud wall and the air was heavy, into +the pure calm darkness of the desert, and gaze up at the stars, and +listen to the far-off tom-toms beating fitfully against the +stillness. And if ever any little coins came into her possession, +it seemed unkind to spend them on glass or beads when there was +always milk and oil needed in the house. And if, when these were +bought, there was any coin left, then her real luxury was to buy +food for the poor thin camel that lay at night in the mud-yard +behind their hut, and to go and feed it secretly in the starlight. +And she would press her hands into the soft fur of its neck as it +leant towards her, feeling that delight that springs from being +kind and loving, and being loved. The law of her life was love, a +law springing naturally in her mind, as the beauty and health in +her body. Her father, her mother, her brothers were all loved by +her; and, beyond these, the unfortunate camels and the donkeys +whose sides bled where the girths cut them as the careless +Englishmen rode them in and out of the village to and from the +Mahdi's tomb, and the lean, barking curs in the mud street that +seldom barked as she passed by. All these she loved and sympathised +with, though she had not been taught sympathy any more than she had +been taught grace. + +This morning she was radiant and happy as she looked through the +quivering, yellow light that danced above the sand towards the +river. Last night she had fed the camel and caressed it, and she +had listened, half awe-struck, to the tom-toms in the distance. The +music had seemed to come to her ears with a new sound. The breeze +had blown from the river with a new kiss to her face. She was +growing into a woman, and the sap of life was rising fast and +vigorous within her, lifting her up with the boundless joy of life. +And as she looked, two white spots, a crested turban and a solar +topee, appeared over the edge of the bank, moving towards her. + +"My sister!" said the Soudanese boy, with a regal air, when they +stood at the mudhouse door. And some instinct, as he was young and +foolish, made the Englishman drag off both goggles and solar topee +for a moment, and so Merla looked up and saw him with the sun +bright on his light Saxon hair and friendly blue eyes. + +"Merla," went on the boy rapidly to his sister in his own tongue, +"this English mister from Khartoum must have a guide to Kerreree. I +go back to the boat: other Englishman want me. You go to Kerreree, +Show everything; carry black box for him--carry everything. Salaam, +Stanhope Mister." + +And, without waiting for either assent or dissent, he swiftly, yet +without any loss of dignity or show of hurry, departed. Merla's +large eyes were downcast. She was a free woman, and came and went +unveiled, nor was it impossible for her to talk to the white +people, for her parents were poor and humble, and glad to make +piastres in any way they could. One of her sisters was a +water-carrier at the hotel in Khartoum, and she might be engaged +there also when she was older. But still she held her eyes down, +for she felt embarrassed and oppressed, and, besides, the topee and +the goggles had been replaced, and they spoilt the vision she had +seen first of the English face. + +"Well, Merla, if that's your name, will you come with me?" the +Englishman said lightly. He knew the tongue well that her brothers +spoke, not in any of its refinement and subtlety, but in the +ordinary distorted way an Englishman usually speaks a foreign +tongue. + +"I will ask if I may," she returned simply, in a low voice, and +drew back into the dark hut behind her. After a moment she +reappeared. "My mother and my brother have ordered it," she said +calmly. "I am ready." + +Struck by the philosophic, impassive accent of her voice, and not +feeling at all flattered, the young man added in rather a nettled +tone: + +"But I hope it's not disagreeable to you. You are willing to come?" + +Then Merla looked at him steadily from under her calm, +widely-arching brows: "I am willing." A calm pride enwrapped all +her countenance, and it seemed as if she said it somewhat as a +victim might say, "I am willing," on being led to the altar of +sacrifice. Yet her eyes were radiant, and seemed to smile on him. + +The young Englishman was puzzled, as young England mostly is by the +East, and, seeing this, the girl added, "Certainly I am willing; it +is fated I should go with you. Give me the black box." + +But it goes against the grain of an Englishman to let a woman carry +his baggage, though he hires her to do it, and he held his camera +back from her. + +"Take these," he said; "they are lighter," and he gave the little +tripod to her, and so they started down the mud sun-baked street +that leads through Omdurman to the desert, and out towards the +battle-ground of Kerreree. There were few people stirring; the men +had already started to their work in the fields by the Nile, or on +the river itself, and the women kept within the close darkness of +the huts mixing and baking meal for the evening's food. Merla +walked on swiftly and silently like a shadow at Stanhope's side +through the mud village, and then on into the silent heat of the +desert beyond. Here the fury of the sun was intense. The river was +out of sight, lying low between its banks. To infinite distance on +every side of them stretched the plain, and the soil here was not +golden sand, but curiously black, like powdered coal or lava. Not a +living thing moved near them; only, far away towards the horizon, +now and then passed a string of camels of some Bedouins travelling. +They walked on in silence. Stanhope found the walking heavy, as his +heeled boots sank into the loose, black soil, and it was difficult +to keep up with the swift, easy steps of the bare black feet beside +him. His duck suit was damp, and the line of flesh exposed between +cuff and glove on his wrist was burnt to a livid red already in the +smiting heat. Suddenly Merla's eyes fell on this, and she stopped. +Over her head she wore a loose veil of coarse white muslin. As she +stopped, she unwound this from her hair, and tore two strips from +it. Stanhope stopped too, well pleased at the pause. + +"You burn your English skin; the flesh will come off," she said +gravely, and before he quite realised it, she had passed one of the +muslin strips round and tied it on his wrist. Stanhope's instinct +was to protest at once, but there was something in the girl's +earnestness and the tender interest with which she put the muslin +on his hand that checked him. Also the pain, whenever his sharp +cuff touched the seared skin, was unpleasant, and made him really +appreciate the improvised protection. + +"Your pretty veil, Merla, you've torn it up for me," he remarked +regretfully as they started again. Merla glanced at him suddenly; +she said nothing, but the pride and joy in her eyes startled the +man beside her. He could find no more words, and silence fell +on them again till Merla roused him from a reverie by saying +indifferently: + +"Look! that white heap there--bones, dead men, dead horses. This +side, white bones too; many dead here--many bones." + +Stanhope looked round. Everywhere, scattered in heaps, shone the +white bones. They had come to the edge of the battlefield. Before +them rose the little hill of Teb-el-Surgham, crowned by its cairn +of black stones and rocks, surrounded by whitened bones and skulls, +from the summit of which the English watched the defeat of the +Khalifa's force. Stanhope cast his eyes over the dreary, black, +blood-soaked plain, on which there was no blade of grass, no plant, +no flower--only black rock and white bones, that shimmered together +in the torrid heat. + +"Horrible! Merla, war is horrible! Come and sit down; I'm dead +tired. Let's sit down here against this rock and rest." + +Stanhope threw himself down by one of the rocks at the base of the +hill, and leant back against it. The girl took her place on the +sand opposite him, with her feet tucked under her. Not far from +them lay a skull, turned upwards to the glaring sky. + +"Will you let me photograph you?" he asked after a minute's gazing +at the rich dark beauty of the youthful face, "or is it against +your customs?" + +"It is against our customs," Merla answered, her hands closing hard +on the tripod beside her. What terror it would mean for her to +stand before that great black box, and have that evil black eye +glare upon her for long seconds! She had seen her countrywomen flee +shrieking to their huts, when the Englishmen approached with their +black boxes. + +"But you will do it for me, won't you?" answered Stanhope +persuasively, having set his heart on the picture. + +"Yes, I will do it for you; it is right, if you wish it," she +answered steadily. + +Stanhope accepted at once such a convenient theory, and sprang up +to fix the tripod and the camera in order, and the girl sat still +on the sand watching him, cold with terror in the burning air. + +"Now, pick up that skull and hold it out in your hand, so. Yes, +that's right. Now, stand a little further back. Yes, that's +perfect." + +There was no difficulty in getting her to pose. The natural +attitudes of her race are all perfect poses. And Merla stood +erect, facing the camera, with the emblem of death in her hand. + +"Thank you; I am very much obliged! That'll be a first-rate +picture," he said gratefully when he had finished, and Merla sat +down with a strange swimming feeling of joy rushing over her. +Stanhope was some time fussing with his camera, and putting it back +in its case out of the light. Then he wanted lunch, and drew forth +a sandwich-case and a wine-flask. The girl would only eat very +little, and would not taste the wine. Stanhope, who was very hungry +and thirsty, ate all his sandwiches and drank all the wine, and +began to feel very bright, refreshed, and exhilarated. + +"Do you know you are very beautiful?" he remarked, as he stretched +himself comfortably in the shade of the rock and gazed at her, +seated sedately on the sand in front of him. + +"Beautiful?" she repeated slowly, reflectively, "am I? The white +camel that lives down by the market square is beautiful, and so was +the Mahdi's tomb." + +"Well, you are more beautiful even than the white camel or the +Mahdi's tomb," returned Stanhope, laughing. "And what do you think +of me?" he added curiously. "Where do I come in the list? somewhere +close after the white camel, I hope." + +Then, as she gazed at him steadfastly, without replying at all, he +felt rather piqued, and took off his blue glasses and squared his +fine shoulders against the rock. + +"Oh, you!" said the girl softly at last, "You are like nothing on +earth, lord! You are like the sun when he first comes over the +plain, or the moon at night, when it floats, white and shining, +through the blue spaces!" + +She sat sedately still, but her breast heaved under the straight, +white tunic: her eyes were full of soft fire: her voice was low, +and quivered with enthusiasm. Stanhope flushed scarlet. Confused +and startled, he stared into her eyes, and so they sat, silent, +gazing at each other. + + * * * * * + +That same afternoon there was a big fair or bazaar in the trampled +mud square in the centre of the Soudanese village that lies higher +up the river at the back of Khartoum. The place was gay with colour +and crowded with moving figures. From long distances, from far-off +villages down and up the river, the natives had come in, either to +sell or to buy along the wide, dusty road that went out from either +side of the square, leading each way north and south. The mud-huts +stood all round the square, backed by some date-palms, for Khartoum +and the village behind it are more favoured with shade than +sun-baked Omdurman. And in the centre of the square stood or sat +the natives, buying and selling, chaffering and gesticulating. Some +were Bishareens, with straight forms and features, and black bodies +almost covered with long strings and chains of beads. They stood +about gracefully to be admired, with their wooly hair fluffed out +at right angles to their head, for the occasion. Some were +corn-merchants, sitting leisurely before a heap of golden grain +piled up loosely on the ground. Others stood by patiently with +their fowls or goats or camels, feeding them with green fodder; and +others had vivid scarlet rugs and carpets of native make spread out +on the uneven ground. And all day long the noise of the merchants, +and the cry of the fowls, and the groan of the camels, and the +dust of the square, and the smoke of the cooking fires went up from +the bazaar. + +In one corner of it, on a square of blue carpet, spread beneath his +camel's nose, sat a merchant who had been observed to come early to +the fair. He appeared to be a man of some substance, for he was +clothed, and the camel kneeling beside him was fat and sleek, and +would easily make two of the thin camels of Khartoum. Opposite him, +sitting on his heels and holding out two lean hands to tend the +small fire that smoked between them, was another, obviously poorer, +from his smaller amount of dress and flesh. + +"It is true: your Merla is the pearl of the desert. I have heard it +from my mother," observed the merchant reflectively. "Still, think, +my brother, a good riding camel that can be hired out to the +Englishmen every day for thirty piastres the day; in a short time +you will feed on goat's flesh, and wear boots, with all that +money." + +The black eyes of the listener sparkled, but he objected shrewdly +enough. + +"My daughter eats not as much as a camel, and the English want not +a camel every day." + +The stranger, fat and comfortable-looking, with a certain amount of +opulent Oriental good looks, waved his hand with a lordly gesture. + +"Let it not be said that Balloon is an oppressor of the poor. Give +me the pearl, and this knife shall go with the camel, also this +piece of blue carpet--a noble offer, my brother; where will you +find such another?" + +He drew from his crimson sash a longish knife, keen-bladed, with +trueblue, Eastern steel, and having a good bone-handle, on which +the fingers clasped easily. The other took the knife and gazed at +it intently. + +"'Tis but a poor thing," he said at last, indifferently thrusting +it into the cloths twisted round his waist. "Yet the camel and the +carpet may suit me, and, as you say, you need not the girl at +present, I will agree, as I am a poor man, and the poor are ever +under the heel of the rich. The girl shall be sent to your house on +your return." + +"I go now northwards, and shall return by the full moon; disappoint +me not, Krino or it shall be evil for you." + +"I disappoint no man," replied Krino calmly, taking over from the +other the string of the camel, and the fine beast turned its dark, +soft head, and looked with liquid eyes on its new owner. + +The sky began to show an orange and crimson glow behind the palms, +and many cooking-fires now gleamed like spots of blood upon the +sand, and the figures still came and went, and talked and bartered, +for the goods were not nearly all sold, and the heaps of fine corn +were still high in many places, and the fair would go on to-morrow +and the next day. But Krino got up and took his way homeward, +exulting over his bargain, and leading the camel. + +At the same hour, lower down the Nile, at Omdurman, the river lay +calm now, without a ripple, and bathed in gold; a stream of liquid +gold it seemed, asleep between its deep-green banks, and only now +and then did a white-sailed felucca glide by in the golden evening +light. + +Two figures came down from the desert to the Nile out of the flat, +heated air of the plain to the divine freshness by the water. +Here, in the cool, golden light, they paused slow and reluctant to +part. + +"Good-night, Merla! Are you unhappy that I must go?" + +The girl raised her face, and looked at him with steadfast eyes. + +"The sun gilds the black rock, but the rock cannot expect the sun +to stay. I am quite happy. Good-night!" + +Another moment and the little launch had sprung out from the deep +shadowed bank on to the golden surface, and was steaming, amidst +the gold and rosy ripples, back to Khartoum. + +When Merla reached the little enclosure of stamped clay round her +hut, she saw a new camel feeding there, and cried out for joy. She +ran to it and clasped her hands about its velvet neck, and called +to her father, as he sat smoking at the doorway, a dozen questions. +Where had it come from? Whose was it? But the old man only chuckled +and laughed, and would not answer. + +"No, no," he thought, watching her with pride, as she played round +the camel, "let the maiden wait to know the joy in store for her +till the full moon; she is but a child." + +Stanhope went that night to a dance at the palace at Khartoum, but +he was late in arriving, and seemed very dull and absent-minded +when he came, and flattered the women less than usual. "He used to +be such a nice boy when he first came here," they complained +amongst themselves, "but he was quite horrid to-night--he must be +in love," and they all laughed, for every one knew there was no one +in Khartoum to fall in love with except themselves, and he had not +led any one of them to suppose she was the favoured one. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +The night was calm, and in the purple, star-filled sky the moon was +rising. It was at the full. The naphtha launch was on the river, +but it moved silently; current was with it, and the light airs +favourable, so there was no need of the engine; one single sail +carried the boat easily over the buoyant water. The stars and the +rising moon gleamed in the smooth, black ripples. Stanhope sat in +the boat thinking, wrapped in a cruel reverie. + +He felt he had sailed the craft of his life too near the perilous +shore of unconventionality, and now he saw the rocks ahead of him +plainly, on which it would be torn in pieces. Yet how to turn back, +or move the helm to steer away from them? + +"A month ago," he thought, as his eye caught the reflection of the +rising moon in the water, "when that moon was young, I was free. +Not a soul cared for me, whether I lived or died, and I cared for +no one." Now there was one, he knew, who lived upon his coming, +whose feet ran to meet him, whose eyes strained their vision to see +his first approach. And he, too; he was no longer free. His heart +went out to that other heart, beating for him alone so truly, so +faithfully, full of such unquestioning adoration and obedience, in +mud-walled sun-parched Omdurman. + +When the launch touched the bank, he sprang out and walked swiftly +up to their usual meeting-place: the deserted mud enclosure of a +deserted hut--an unlovely meeting-place enough--but filled with the +sweet air of the desert night and the royal light of the stars. + +"My lord looks weary to-night," said Merla softly, after they had +greeted each other, and had sat down side by side with their backs +to the low wall. + +"Yes, I am tired with thinking. What is to be the end of this, +Merla? Where is our love drifting us to?" + +"Why does my lord concern himself with that? We are in the hands of +Fate." + +Stanhope moved impatiently. + +"Our fate is what we make it." + +"It is not wise to enquire about our fate," replied Merla, and he +saw her face grow grave with resolution in the dim light. "But I +can tell you, if you like, what it will be: when you are ready, you +will go back to your own people, your own life, and you will be +very happy." + +"And you--?" asked Stanhope in a whisper. + +"I shall then have lived my life. I shall die and be buried out +there," and she motioned to the desert. "I shall have given my lord +happiness for a time: think what delight, what honour!" + +Stanhope shuddered. + +"Don't, don't, I can't bear to hear you; do you ask nothing for +yourself from life?" + +"Life has given me all now," returned Merla, with a proud smile on +her face. + +"Why should we not go home to my land together?" said Stanhope +passionately, in that sudden revolt against the laws of custom that +stirs all humanity at times. "Why should I not take you to live +with me for always to be my wife? who would forbid me?" + +Merla shook her head, and pressed hard on his hand lying beside her +on the sand. + +"The sun cannot lift the black rock from the desert and take it to +dwell in the blue spaces; neither can the sun stay with the rock. +You are grieving for me; do not. I am quite happy. I accept what +must be. My life ends when you go." + +For a wild moment it seemed to Stanhope that he must dare +everything and take her. After all, she was intelligent: she could +be educated. She was beautiful, youthful; and what a love she +poured out at his feet!--different in calibre, in nature, +different, from its root up, from any love he could hope to find +again--a love that asked absolutely nothing for itself, not even +the right to live, and yet would give its all unquestioningly, +unsparingly. It is not a toy to be thrown away lightly, and +Stanhope realised this. + +"The blue spaces are cold and empty, Merla," he said, suddenly +catching her to his breast. "You must come with me." + +"No, lord, it is impossible; you speak only for me," whispered +Merla, though she clasped his neck tightly. "You must go and live +happy, and I shall die happy; even in my grave I shall remember +your kisses." + + * * * * * + +An hour later, the moon was well up in the sky, though the light +was not yet brilliant, and they parted by the wall of the +cattle-byre with promises to meet on the morrow, and he turned and +left her standing in the shadow; but some instinct moved him, and +he returned and kissed her yet again, and said one more farewell; +then he took the narrow track leading down to the river, and Merla +knew that she must hasten home; for her father, who had been out in +the early evening, would be returning. Before she left she turned +back once more into the byre, and stood looking at the stars that +she had communed with so often: a great sadness fell on her +thoughts, a chill as after a final parting. As she turned to go, +her eyes fell on a grey patch on the byre floor--his coat! He had +left it behind. Merla gave a little laugh as she picked it up: the +parting seemed less final now. She would keep it till the morrow. +Would he want it? miss it? No, the night was so still and sultry; +and, throwing it over her arm, she passed onwards to her hut. + +As she neared the enclosure, her heart beat rapidly. A light was +burning within the hut, and by the moonlight she saw the great +camel moving restlessly in the narrow space outside. Angry voices +reached her in sharp discussion--her father's and another. Just +inside the enclosure she paused and listened, trembling, uncertain +what this unusual clamour and strange voice might mean. + +"I gave you my camel, my knife, and my carpet. Where is the Pearl I +was promised? Is not the moon at the full?" + +Merla heard these words with a thrill passing through every fibre. +She knew her father had no pearl in his possession, but was not +her name "Pearl of the Desert"? Next there came some confused +murmur--seemingly words of apology--in her father's voice that she +could not catch, but the stranger interrupted angrily: + +"Unhappy man! tricked seller, tricked buyer, would you know where +the Pearl is? would you know where your daughter hides? I have +heard that she has been seen with a stranger, a white-faced +stranger--I know not if he be a leper or an Englishman--" with a +bitter laugh, "but in either case I want her not. Come, give me my +knife, and I lead off my camel." + +Merla's heart failed, for her father gave a shriek as he heard the +accusation, and a shower of oaths and imprecations came to her +shrinking ears. Nothing was clear any more; there was only clamour +and raving in the hut. But once she caught the words, "to the +river--does he go to the river?" and above all the storm of words +there was the awful sound of the sharpening of a knife. + +Like a shadow, noiseless and silent, Merla crept swiftly, under the +shade of the camel's body, across the enclosure to the mud +partition behind which her youngest brother slept, and roused him. +"Nungoon!" she said breathlessly, gripping his shoulder, "take the +track to the river, and run for your life. You will overtake the +Englishman. Tell him this. 'Merla says: Run to the launch and get +off the land quickly, and never come back to Omdurman, or come with +a guard. They seek to kill you here.' Go, brother; run!" + +The boy, startled from his sleep, gathered himself together and +rose. His sister, leaning over him with ashy face and fixed eyes, +seemed like Fate itself directing him. Moreover, Oriental youth is +accustomed to obey unquestioningly. Without a word, simply with a +sign of assent, he fled out of the enclosure, down the track to the +river. + +Merla stepped back and out of the yard, and stood waiting, silent +as before; she had formed her resolution, and all fear was past. +The mats in front of the door were suddenly pushed aside, and a +streak of light fell across the yard, but it could not touch her, +sheltered by the wall. She saw her father rush out, wild-eyed, and +the long blade of the knife gleamed blue in the moonlight. + +Then, as he dashed through the enclosure entrance, she moved her +feet suddenly, scraping the sand, and then fled, wrapped in +Stanhope's long light overcoat, up towards the desert, away from +the river. Krino, blinded, maddened by passion, glanced at the wall +whence came the scraping sound, and then, catching sight of a +flying form in English dress, plunged with a cry of triumph after +it. Merla fled like the wind along in the shadow of the wall, +keeping in the darkness, with her head down, fearing lest her bare +head or bare feet might betray her. But Krino's eyes were fixed on +the silvery grey of the English overcoat, and, blind to all else, +he raced on in the uncertain light with his eyes intent on the +shoulders between which he would plunge his knife. Up through the +heart of sleeping Omdurman, past silent huts and yellow walls that +gleamed pale in the moonlight, through the village to the desert, +hunted and hunter fled on, and Krino's heart rose in savage +triumph. + +"Fool! he cannot escape me now; by the river--yes, but not in the +desert; he cannot escape." + +And the desert was reached and entered, and still the two noiseless +shadows fled over the sand. + +Merla's strength was failing: her sight was reeling; she could run +no more. Only the joy of knowing that each step led the enemy +farther from her loved one had supported her till now. Now he was +safe, he must be away on the friendly river. There had been ample +time. Not now would it be possible for Krino to reach the river +before her lover had embarked. It was well. All was well! And the +black sand spun round her in the moonlight, as she heard the hiss +of her father's breath behind her. She wavered. With a bound the +man threw himself forward. One stab, and the keen blade sank +through the flesh below the shoulder, driving her forward, and she +fell face downwards on the sand. + +Blind still with fury, the Soudanese bent down, tore at the head to +drag it back that he might slash it from the body, and turned up +the face to the moonlight. Fixed in agony and triumph, it looked +back at him--the dead face of his daughter, the PEARL OF THE +DESERT. + + + + +IV + + +The last flare of the sunset was falling on the walls of Jerusalem, +staining them crimson, and flooding all the enchanting circle of +the hills that lie round the city with rosy light. Low down in one +of the depressions, where the long sun-rays could not reach, and +the olive-trees looked grey in the twilight, stood the grim, white +Monastery of the Holy Virgin. The air was sweet and cool here, far +from the pollution of the city, and the evening sky stretched fair +and radiant above the purple hills. Unbroken quiet reigned, and +only one thing in the landscape moved--the figure of a girl +ascending swiftly a narrow, stony road under the shadow of the +wall. She seemed burdened with many things that she was carrying, +and oppressed with some haunting fear, for she looked back +frequently, and then pressed on with redoubled speed. The stony +track brought her at last to the corner of the enclosure of +olive-trees belonging to the monastery; it branched here, one path +leading straight to the gates of the building, the other skirting +the olive-wood plantation, and then passing on out into the barren +hills and open country towards Jericho. The girl took the second +track, and here, under the friendly shade of the sheltering trees, +she walked more erect and easily. When she reached the farther +corner of the plantation she stopped and listened, gazing round +her. There was no sound, the light was failing, the hush deepening. +"Nicholas," she breathed in a clear whisper, leaning on the low +stone plantation wall, "are you there?" A rustling of some long +robe against bushes answered her--the olive branches were pushed +aside, and the figure of a Greek priest came from between them. +With a smile of intense joy on his face he leant over the wall, and +clasped the girl's two soft hands in his. + +"Esther!" he whispered back, "you have come; you have decided then, +you are ready?" + +"I am quite ready," answered the girl, pressing close to the wall +and lifting her face; the last gleam of gold light from the rising +ridge to the west touched it, and showed it was very fair. "If you +are sure it is right, if you have faith in Jehovah to lead us." + +The priest's face, pale and emaciated, with the rapt look of the +visionary stamped upon it, lighted up suddenly with a new +exaltation. + +"I am quite sure. Last night when I was praying, still in doubt, +before the great crucifix, I heard a voice from above saying: +'Nicholas, you are absolved from further prayer and penance here. +Go forth with the maiden you love and serve Me in the world. The +joy of human hearts singing to Me in grateful praise is more +pleasing to Me than these groans and tears and prayers. I have +created the blue sky and the laughing seas and the green hills; go +forth and see my works, and praise Me.'" + +The Jewish girl had listened intently, her face as rapt as his +while he spoke, the fire of joy glowing in her eyes. + +"Come, then, at once," she murmured in an ardent whisper, and +Nicholas stepped over the low boundary into the hill road, now +wrapped in darkness. Before them still glimmered dimly the white +outlines of the monastery behind the trees. The man stood +motionless, gazing at them, the girl's hand tightly clasped in his +and held against his breast. + +"The agony, the misery I have suffered behind those walls," he +muttered, "for sixteen years!" + +"It is over," murmured the girl; "come away to the hills; we have +no time to lose." + +She stooped to gather up the objects in the road. "I have brought +you these things," she said confusedly, hardly audibly. "Change +into them quickly, and then follow me up the road. No, I will take +all the rest," she added, as he took the bundle of clothing she +gave him and stretched out his hand for the other smaller things. +"Hasten, Nicholas, it is so dangerous here!" With this parting +entreaty she went on up the road carrying the bundles. + +After she had gone a little way she paused and listened--all was +quite still--the stars now showed fitfully in the deepening purple +of the sky, a little breeze blew gently up from the wilderness +towards Jerusalem. The girl sat down by the wall, with her back +against it, and her hands clasped round her knees. Her face had a +strange, wonderful beauty as she sat waiting, white-skinned and +softly-moulded, with resolute, dark eyebrows drawn straight across +the calm forehead. A few moments passed, and then Nicholas +approached; his flowing priest's robes were gone, the high, +straight, black hat of the order was no longer on his head: it was +bare, and the long uncut hair, as the Greeks wear it, was twisted +in two thick fair coils round his head. Esther sprang up, +untwisting a broad sash from her waist. + +"Take this! No wait! let me twist it round your head--yes, so. Now +it looks like a Jewish turban. You have the robe and the hat with +you?--yes, bring them, bring them," and they hurried on, fleeing +away from the monastery. Esther knew a short track across the hills +which in a little while joins the great main road to Jericho, that +descends down and down through the bare rolling hills of the +wilderness to the fair plain of the Jordan and the shores of the +Dead Sea. For the first few miles they sped on in silence with +clasped hands, the night wind rushing against their faces, and no +sound coming to their ears but the occasional whine of the hungry +hyenas, prowling over the stony, starlit hills. In the man's breast +swelled an exaltation beyond all words: it lifted him up so, that +his feet seemed flying over the rugged ground without touching it; +the night-wind filled his veins with fire: his brain seemed alight +and glowing. For years past the bare stone walls of his monk's cell +had given him pictures painted by his fevered fancy of such a walk +as this through starlit, open spaces--a walk to life and freedom. +For years his hot, caged feet had paced the stone cell floor, +aching to pass the threshold; and for the last month ever since +from amongst the olive-trees he had seen the fair Jewish girl pass +by, a new vision had come upon those white-washed walls to add its +torture to the rest. Evening after evening he had stolen out at +sunset to see her pass, as she came and went from the little +cluster of Jewish houses on the ridge beyond the monastery and +watched the sunlight play upon her brows and hair. Could this +thing, so divinely beautiful, be the creation of the devil to +destroy men's souls? His reason revolted against it. If so, the +warm sunlight and radiant sky and air, the flowers and the purple +hills, his weary eyes strained out to must be also the devil's +work, for all these things were akin, and the woman passing amongst +them was but the masterpiece made by the same hand. + +"Say," he had said wearily, one night, to a monk passing him like a +silent shadow on his way to his cell. "Is all the world the work of +the devil?" + +"Nay, brother, what blasphemy!" returned the other, startled beyond +measure. "It is all the work of God" and Nicholas had passed into +his cell well pleased. And the next evening he had called softly to +the masterpiece of the Creator, as she went by, and the girl, +startled and fearful at first, had spoken a few words out of sheer +pity for the hungry, lonely soul looking out so wistfully at her; +and then how soon had come other meetings, the plan to escape--that +final vision which had seemed to justify him,--and now the flight! + +"Will the boat be there! will they wait for us?" he asked eagerly, +as they walked swiftly on. + +"Yes, I heard the boat was coming over from the Jewish Colony +beyond the Dead Sea, and I sent word down it was to take me in it +when it left again," the girl replied, "We shall get down there +to-morrow evening; we will go to old Solomon's house; he will let +us stay with him one night, and in the morning we must get down to +the shore and the boat." + +Nicholas pressed her hand as they walked on. How wise she was, this +little Jewish girl! She had lived her short life in the world, and +knew her way about in it so well. And he, so much older, felt like +a child beside her, after all those long, deadening, numbing years +in the monastery. + +Five miles more of the white, stony road were traversed, winding in +and out, but always descending between the barren desolate hills of +the wilderness, and then Esther said with a little sob in her +voice: + +"We must stop here now and rest, I am so tired. I cannot go any +further to-night." + +"Tired?" he echoed wonderingly. Could he ever feel tired now? His +feet seemed borne on wings. But he stopped, and bending over her, +lifted and carried her tenderly from the starlit road to a large +rock jutting out from the hillside. Here, in the shadow on the +farther side, they lay down, and the girl fell at once into the +deep sleep of utter bodily fatigue. The man lay open-eyed clasping +her to him, his brain on fire with freedom, listening with joy to +the cries of the wandering wild animals amongst the hills. + +The following evening, late, they reached the plain. The wilderness +lay behind them, and in front, beyond the green darkness of the +trees, they knew the starlight was gleaming on the Dead Sea. The +heat down here was suffocating, and their weary feet moved on +slowly through the village--a collection of a few white flat-roofed +houses, which are all that now mark the spot where stood once the +rich, mighty city of Jericho. In the last house shone a light, and +Esther led Nicholas towards it. + +Solomon was waiting for them, and had prepared for them his best +upper room--a little narrow apartment, with windows facing towards +the sea--where supper was laid, and opening from this a tiny +sleeping chamber. A swinging lamp hung over the centre table, and +Solomon's younger brother waited on them. Esther, with the dust of +the road washed from her skin, looked very fair, sitting under the +light of the lamp, her eyes glowing with the mysterious fires of +love and joy, and the two Jews sat listening to her eagerly as she +talked to them, telling them the news of her family and friends in +Jerusalem. + +"If I could only go up to the city," sighed the younger man. "But I +cannot walk, and I have no horse," and he grew sullen and dejected +and said no more, while the elder continued to ask and be answered +a hundred questions about the life and doings of the city. + +That night, past midnight, when the whole plain of Jericho lay +wrapped in a deep hush, and not one light gleamed in the darkness +of the village, a carriage drawn by two foam-covered horses +thundered down the last steep descent of the road from Jerusalem +into the village, and dashed through it straight to Solomon's +dwelling. Esther, asleep in the upper room, with Nicholas' head +pillowed on her shoulder, heard the clatter of wheels and awoke +suddenly, all her body growing rigid with terror. + +"Nicholas, awake! they have followed us!" She sprang from the bed, +and opening the window noiselessly, looked out. The night was quite +dark, but by straining her eyes she could descry the form of a +covered carriage below, and two dark figures stood hammering on the +house-door. The sounds rang reverberating through the dwelling, and +disturbing the still, calm air without, laden with the scent of +myrtle and orange-flower. A window above opened, and the old Jew +looked out. + +"Who knocks?" he called. + +"Priests from Jerusalem, from the Monastery of the Holy Virgin. One +whom we seek is within; let us enter." Esther drew back into the +room, and saw Nicholas standing behind her, his face haggard with +despair. "Jehovah, then, is not with us." + +Esther pressed his hand. + +"Esther is with you," she murmured softly. "You shall not go back, +they shall not touch you. Give me your priest's clothing, and stay +here." + +Before he could answer she had snatched up the garments and was +gone, fastening the door behind her. Outside on the stairway she +met old Solomon, coming slowly down to answer the imperative +summons from below. + +"Delay all you can in admitting them," she whispered, then ran past +him, fleet of foot, up the stairs to the Jews' room--the door stood +open as Solomon had left it. She entered, and stood within in the +darkness. + +"Hiram," she called softly, "you wished to go up to Jerusalem. Now +is your opportunity. Get up, put on these things, and the priests +will take you back in their carriage." She heard the man rise and +bound to the floor. + +"Is that you, Esther? Have they sent from the monastery to take +Nicholas?" + +"Yes," returned Esther in an agonised voice. "But you will not let +them take him? See, Hiram, they cannot hurt you; they will not +recognise you, nor suspect you here in the darkness, in the dress +of Nicholas. You need not speak. They will hasten you into the +carriage. To-morrow when they discover you, it will be too late for +them to overtake us. We shall be gone, and _you_ they will not +want. They cannot put you in their monastery. They must release +you, and you--will be at the gates of Jerusalem." + +Her low voice, thrilled with her agony of fear and suspense: there +was the very soul of persuasion in it. As she pleaded in the +darkness, she heard the man breathing quickly, and shuffling his +feet on the floor. He was hesitating. He longed to go up to the +city, but this seemed a dangerous expedient. Yet it would serve +Esther, and she was very fair, and was of his own kindred. There +was a noise and clamour downstairs beneath them--the sound of the +slow unbarring of bolts, and angry voices without. Esther drew +nearer, and her voice grew sharp with fear: + +"Hiram, as they are pushing you to the carriage, I will throw +myself into your arms, and you shall kiss me your last farewell, as +if you were Nicholas." + +In the darkness she felt that the man stretched out his hand. + +"Give me the clothes; I will go." + +Esther threw them into his arms, and darted out, closing the door, +and hung over the stair-rail. There was no light, but she could +hear the heavy footsteps coming up. Nearer they came, and nearer, +stumbling, and Solomon's step behind, as he followed the priests, +grumbling and protesting. Now they were almost opposite the door of +the room where Nicholas crouched waiting. + +"He is not here! he is not here!" wailed out Esther's voice +suddenly from above, and the priests hearing her, rushed up the +stairs to where she stood, passing by, forgotten, the door of the +lower room. + +Rigid and tense she stood before the door as if guarding it, her +arms outstretched before it. The first priest pushed her roughly on +one side, the second opened the door, and beyond, dimly outlined +against the open window square, was visible the draped figure and +heavy hat of a priest. With a shout of triumph they darted forward, +and Esther gave a great cry of wild despair. The priests dragged +him out unresisting, and forced him down the stairs. No word came +from him. Solomon, leaning back against the wall to let them pass, +stretched out his hand to the weeping Esther; but she passed him, +crying and hurrying after her lover. Down in the passage the large +door stood wide, showing the waiting carriage in the dim starlight +of the sultry night. As they pushed him to the door, he suddenly +wrested himself free for an instant, and Esther rushed into his +arms. + +"Oh, Nicholas, Nicholas! Good-bye!" + +The priests seized her by the shoulder, wrenching her away, and one +hurled her with a fury of loathing back into the darkness of the +passage. Then they forced their prisoner forward, stumbling, +resisting, to the carriage. The door snapped to, the horses plunged +forward, and the carriage thundered away into the night. Esther +picked herself up from where she had fallen in the passage, and +bruised and trembling, but with a joyous smile, rushed up the +narrow stairway. + +"Solomon!" she said, whispering in the old Jew's ear, "Hiram has +gone in the place of Nicholas! Nicholas is safe here. Oh, help us +to get to the sea!" + +Solomon shook with laughter as he heard--for a Jew loves dearly a +clever ruse--and he stroked Esther's soft hair as she stood by him. + +"Light us a lamp, and let us get away to the shore, that we can +embark and be away on the water at dawn, before they discover it +and return," Then she passed by him and entered the room where +Nicholas awaited her. Solomon trimmed a lamp and a lantern for +them, and put up some bread and meat for their journey, his +shoulders shaking with inward chuckles as he did so. + +"Hiram a priest!" he repeated to himself; "that is a joke indeed, +and Esther, what a quick brain she has--a true daughter of Israel!" +and Esther was murmuring within to Nicholas: + +"Jehovah has saved us. Now let us hasten down to the sea." + +The next morning, when the dawn broke soft and rosy over the fair +plain of Jericho, the sea that is called the Dead Sea, yet seems, +in its glorious wealth of colour and sparkling brilliance to be +rather the emblem of Life, glowed and flashed like a huge sapphire +in the sun's rays, and at its calm edge, that meets the shore +without a ripple, swayed gently the ship of the pilgrims from the +Jewish Colony. + +Nicholas and Esther sat side by side watching the pilgrims' oars +dip quietly in perfect rhythm as they sang. And the song of praise +went up through the golden air, and echoed back to the sunny, +silent strand vanishing behind them. + + + + +V + + +Dawn was breaking over the desert. Steadily the triumphant rose +spread upward in the pale opalescent sky, and broad waves of light +rippled slowly over the wide level plain. The little keen breeze of +the morning, the herald of the dawn that runs ever in front of its +chariot, stirred the branches of the palm trees by the Nile, and +played a moment idly with the flap of a tent door before it passed +onward. Here, some two miles away from cool Assouan, lying out in +the desert, was the Bishâreen encampment, and the last small tent +of the long line had its door open, and the flap of the awning +loose, with which the morning wind stopped to play. + +Within, seated cross-legged on the scarlet rug and sheepskin which +formed their bed, were two girls braiding their hair before a tiny +square of glass, which each in turn held up for the other. + +"How cold the morning is! How I hate to hear the wind shake the +door flaps," one said and shivered. + +"Doolga, don't; you are holding the glass all crooked; I cannot see +myself. Why should you feel cold this morning of all others, when +Sheik Ilbrahim dar Awaz is coming to claim you?" returned the +other, and she laughed softly, with her slim fingers busy trying to +bind up and restrain her dusky cloud of hair. + +How lovely she was, this young Bishâreen, who had looked on the +yearly fall of the Nile but fifteen times--lovely as the tall +slender palm of the oasis, or the gold light on the river at +sunset. Tall and straight, with the stately carriage and proud head +of her race; smooth and supple, with every limb faultlessly moulded +under the clear, lustrous skin. + +"Silka, Silka! I cannot marry the Sheik. I am in terror of him. +Help me, save me!" + +The little glass fell on the blanket between them. In the warm rose +glow now filling the tent, Doolga's face was ashen-coloured. +Awe-struck and startled Silka gazed wide-eyed upon her. For an +instant the two girls sat staring in silence into each other's +eyes. So much alike they were that one face seemed the reflection +of the other, only there was a bloom, a light, a sweetness on +Silka's that was missing in the other. + +"Why?" she breathed after that first startled silence, "what is the +matter, Doolga? Tell me; tell me everything." + +She drew nearer her sister, and put one arm round her. The pink +light from without, striking through the tent canvas, touched her +face, showing its delicately-cut, exquisite features and the tender +love filling the eyes. + +"I hate the Sheik!" sobbed Doolga, putting down her head on the +other's soft bare shoulder; "I don't want him. I love _him_!" + +And Silka felt that everything indeed was told. The incoherent, +inexplicable words were clear enough to her. She trembled all over, +and the two girls clung together in the little tent, while the +noise of a large encampment awakening grew about them outside. + +Suddenly Doolga grew calm; she lifted her face, and Silka saw it +was grey, with great lines of anguish cut in it, and her heart +seemed to contract with pain, for she loved Doolga better than +anything she knew in the world, and Doolga's suffering was her +suffering. + +"I thought, father thought you would be glad to marry the Sheik," +she faltered. + +"I cannot. I will throw myself into the Nile rather; Silka, help +me!" + +"How can I?" + +"_You_ marry the Sheik!" Doolga's eyes were alight with flame. +Something of the tiger's glare shone in them. She bent forward and +seized the other girl's wrists in a feverish grip. The clasp hurt +and burnt like fire. Silka drew back instinctively, paling with +surprise. + +"I marry the Sheik?" she repeated, "but--" + +"Yes, you _must_! Oh, Silka, you have always loved me: save me now. +I cannot. It will be death to me. I love--I love--" she hesitated; +then added, "so much. You love no one. Why not then the Sheik? Do +this for me. I will think of you, bless you always. Save me from +death; save me from the Nile!" + +The burning words, uttered low, in that strange, strained voice she +hardly recognised, fell upon Silka like drops of molten lead. Her +sister seemed mad: her eyes started forward from her livid face: +her clasp on Silka's wrists gripped like iron. Silka's heart was +overwhelmed with pity and distress. + +"How can I?" she murmured back, bewildered by the sudden revelation +of misery in the other--this other that had grown up with her, +played with her, slept with her side by side through the soft, hot +nights when they had lain counting the stars through a chink in the +tent. Side by side their bodies had nestled together, and side by +side their hearts had always been. + +"You have but to unveil your face to the Sheik," returned the other +quickly, eagerly, almost furiously, "and he will take you instead +of me. Think, Silka! the head of the tribe, fifty camels, a +thousand goats--" She stopped in her eager outpour of persuasion. +Silka was looking at her straight from under her dark, level brows, +her lips curled in a sorrowful disdain. + +"Have his riches any weight with you, Doolga? Why do you offer them +to me?" she said proudly. + +"Because you are free: you do not love," impetuously returned the +other with glib, persistent vehemence. "I would marry the Sheik, I +would prize his flocks, his riches; but I love--I love--I cannot!" + +"Whom do you love so much?" replied Silka sadly. "Why have you not +told me? Who is he?" + +The girls were seated on the bed in one corner of the tent close +beside its stretched canvas wall. There was a little eyelet, a +square hole with a flap buttoned down over it, on a level with +their heads. At Silka's question Doolga turned to the canvas, and, +with an impatient movement, tore up the flap and looked out. The +plain was bathed in gold: above, the pure, pink glow still hung in +the limpid sky. The encampment was astir. The tents were open, and +little cooking fires, sending up their spirals of blue smoke were +dotted over the sand. At a few paces' distance from the main row of +tents, the camels, lying down, made a velvet-like patch of shade on +the gleaming gold of the sand, and herds of white goats stood near, +their silky coats flashing in the morning sunlight. Silka looked +out, too, over her sister's shoulder. She saw the burnished gold of +the plain and the luminous sky, and between these two a figure +that stood by a low brown tent, with the sunlight falling full on +its noble brow and the straight profile turned towards them. Doolga +wrung Silka's hand, that she still clutched, as they knelt side by +side on the sheepskin looking through the eyelet. + +"That is he!" she said, and Silka's lips parted suddenly in a +little scream of pain. + +"What is the matter?" asked Doolga roughly, drawing her back from +the aperture, and letting the flap fall. + +"You hurt me," replied Silka. "Is that the one you love?" Her voice +sounded tremulous: her eyes, fixed on Doolga, seemed to widen with +increasing pain. + +"Yes, that is he; that is Melun," answered Doolga softly. "Is he +not handsome, wonderful? Why do you stare so? Might not any girl +love him?" + +A little smile played round Silka's lips. + +"Yes, indeed, any girl might love him," she answered. + +"But not as I do--no, never! Oh, Silka, I cannot tell you how I +love him. More than the Nile, more than the stars, more than we +have ever loved each other! I have met him often when I went to +draw water, and sometimes we have stayed together in the +palm-grove. I was so happy till father sold me to the Sheik; and +now I must part from Melun for ever! Do not make me, dear, darling +Silka; do not send me to the Nile!" She spoke with increasing +excitement, with passionate intensity. She was close to Silka, and +she laid one arm softly round her neck and put her face close to +hers. Such a beautiful oval face it was!--the face that Silka +loved: as she looked at it, her heart melted within her. + +"See, dearest Silka," continued the other coaxingly, "you have +nothing to do but to unveil before the Sheik; you are just like me, +only a thousand times lovelier. He will not want me then, but you. +You can say to our father: As I am fairer than my sister, he will +give you two more camels. Father will be pleased with the camels, +and I shall be left free to marry Melun." + +"But suppose I don't want to marry the Sheik either," said Silka, +slowly stroking the curls of the sheepskin as she looked down upon +it. + +"But why should you not? he has flocks and herds; he will give you +necklets and bracelets, and a camel to ride, and take you to the +oasis? Why should you mind?" + +"It is late, Doolga. Father will be returning soon. Go, fill your +urns at the well." + +"But will you promise--?" + +"I can promise nothing yet. Go, go, leave me, you must let me think +a little." + +Doolga got up well satisfied. She knew Silka had never refused her +anything since they had first played as babies together in the +sand. Silka loved her. Silka had never denied her anything. + +She took her large earthenware jar, poised it on her shoulder, and +went out of the tent into the hot light. Silka lay on the sheepskin +where her sister had left her, and turned her face to it, shaken +with a storm of feeling that convulsed her slender body from head +to foot. She heard none of the cheerful sounds of life stirring +round the tent; she heard only Doolga's threat of the Nile, her +passionate pleading for help. Her face was buried in the sheepskin, +yet she saw plainly in the wall of darkness before her eyeballs +the figure of the Bishâreen standing out against the pink light of +the morning sky. So it was Melun that Doolga loved! And to Melun +all her own passionate impulsive heart had been given through her +eyes. Had she not, morning after morning, gazed out through the +square eyelet to catch a glimpse of him as he came from his tent, +dressed in his snowy white linen tunic, and with countless strings +of coloured beads twisted round the firm column of his throat and +hanging from his arms? Melun, the necklace-seller of Assouan! +Melun, that the foreign tourists stopped to gaze after, as he +walked with slow and stately steps beneath the lebek trees on the +"boulvard" by the Nile. Young and straight and slender, with a +beautiful face and form, he never offered his wares for sale. He +simply stood and looked at the tourists, and they came and bought +largely. They came up to him with curious eyes to chaffer for his +blue-glass beads, and stare at his smooth, perfectly-moulded arms +and throat, at the wonderfully straight features, and the lofty +carriage of his head, at the thick hair, like fine, black wool, +that waved above his forehead and clustered round the nape of his +neck, interwoven with his brilliant blue beads. Ah! how she loved +Melun! how she had dreamed of the day when her elder sister, +happily married, she herself could go to her father and say, "Let +Melun, the necklace-seller, come to the tent and see my face." And +now, not for him, but for the old hard-visaged Sheik, she was asked +to unveil. "I cannot do it; no, I cannot," she muttered to herself, +and the thought of Melun came to her softly. "I have but to look at +him, and he must love me; he is mine." Did not her mirror tell her +this each morning? Had not her sister but now said the same? She +smiled to herself, and balm seemed poured through her. Then there +came another thought piercing her like a dagger. Melun is not mine, +but hers. She loves him; he loves her. They have met in the +palm-grove. Never, never, could she unveil for him now. He must +never see her. Though he loved her a thousand times, yet would +she never take him from Doolga. Doolga, bright, graceful, and +beautiful, the light of her eyes, the joy of the tent! could she +bear to see her brought through the door cold, motionless, +lifeless, killed by the embrace of the Nile? + +When Doolga returned with the flush of warmth on her cheek and the +jar full of shimmering water on her shoulder, Silka was sitting +upright on the bed with dry, wide eyes. One glance at her told +Doolga that she herself was free, that the other would take up her +burden and bear it for her. She crossed over with a quick beautiful +movement, lithe, free, untamed. + +"Darling Silka, you will consent? you will promise?" + +"Do you meet him often in the palm-grove?" returned Silka; it was +now her eyes that were full of flame as she met her sister's. + +"Why--Melun? Yes, whenever it was possible. To-night there will be +no moon; I was going, but why should you ask?" She bent forward +quickly, eagerly, some faint suspicion stirring in her. + +"If I do this for you--if I save you--if I show myself to the +Sheik, then you must let me go to the palm-grove to-night." + +Doolga fell back from her, surprise and terror and horror mingling +in her face. She clasped her small, soft hands together and wrung +them. + +"Oh, Silka! you know, if he sees you, he will not look at me again; +he will not care." + +Silka smiled a slow, painful smile. + +"Do you not see?" she said in a whisper. "I shall go as you. Who +will know it is not you? Not Melun. He will be expecting you! he +has never seen me. I will not betray myself nor you, but this is my +condition. To-morrow I go in your stead to the Sheik; to-night, I +go in your stead to Melun." + +Doolga stared at her, barely comprehending. + +"But why--why?" she stammered in return. + +"I go to the Sheik in your stead because I love you, and to Melun +in your stead because I love him," replied Silka firmly. + +There was a smile in her eyes, but her lips were pale, compressed, +and sad. Doolga gazed at her in silence, both hands clasped tightly +now over her swelling breast. Astonishment, gratitude, mistrust, +and jealousy were all struggling together within it for mastery. + +"You love Melun too?" she said at last. "Then why do you not take +him? One glance from you and he is yours." + +"He was yours first," answered Silka miserably. "I cannot take him +from you." + +"And you will marry the Sheik to save me?" + +"Yes," replied Silka. + +Then Doolga fell on her knees and thanked Silka and kissed her, and +Doolga's kisses were very sweet, and while those lips pressed hers +Silka forgot everything else in the world. At last Doolga said in a +sudden recrudescence of jealousy: + +"In the grove to-night you will not--" and the rest was whispered. + +"No," answered Silka; "I am the bride of the Sheik. You need fear +nothing. But I must see Melun; all my life long I shall feed on +your happiness. There will be nothing else for me. I shall live on +it. To do this I must have a vision of it before I go, and it will +stay by me for ever." + +That afternoon the tent was gay with unrolled silks and scarlet +rugs, and coffee stood out in little porcelain cups upon the floor, +for the Sheik Ilbrahim had come to the final parley for his bride. +He sat before the coffee-cups on a black goat-skin, the pipe of +honour placed beside him. A grave, quiet man, with kind eyes, but +already far on in the winter of life. Opposite him sat his host, +the owner of the tent and father of the girls. Shrewd-eyed, +keen-faced, quietly he did his bargaining. Earlier in the day the +elder girl had laid the plan before him: herself for Melun, the +necklace-seller of Assouan, who owned neither camels nor goats, but +would pay well in silver straight from the hands of the tourists; +her younger sister for the Sheik, who would give doubtless two more +camels for her wonderful beauty. The father listened placidly. It +was not a bad bargain. + +"But," he answered finally, "why should you not go to the Sheik now +for two camels and by and by another will come for your sister and +give four camels. Then shall I have had six for the two of you." + +"But she may die," objected the ready Doolga, the keen-witted +daughter of her father. "Better secure the camels now, father." + +"True, she may die, and the bargain be lost," mused the father, +and at last he spread out his hands with a gesture of conclusion. + +"It is for the Sheik to decide," he said merely, and Doolga was +content. She knew beforehand what the Sheik would decide when he +saw her sister. Now the two girls sat clasped in each other's arms +behind a curtain hung across a corner of the tent, and waited +silently till they should be summoned. + +"If she be fairer than your daughter Doolga," they heard the Sheik +say good-humouredly, "she must be fair indeed, and worth four +camels. Let me see her." + +At those words Silka rose and stepped from behind the little +curtain. With timid steps she came forward to the centre of the +tent. A linen tunic clasped round the base of her throat fell +almost to her ankles, caught lightly in at the waist by a scarlet +cord; loose sleeves falling from the shoulder half-concealed her +rounded arms; but her lovely face, with its arching brows and +liquid eyes, looked out unveiled from her frame of cloudy hair, and +drew the Sheik's heart towards her. Wrapt in the enthusiasm of the +holiest of all loves, that of sister for sister, tense with the +ardour of her sacrifice, a light shone out from the tender soul +within that fired all her beauty, making it burn like the sun, and +intoxicate like wine. + +Her father eyed her, and wished he had asked five camels. + +The Sheik stretched out his right hand towards her. + +"Are you pleased to come, my daughter, to the oasis of roses with +me?" + +"My lord beholds his slave," answered Silka, and her eyes were full +of light, and her lips were curved in smiles. + +"My camels, four of the best, will find their stable behind your +tent to-night," said the Sheik to her father, and he filled the cup +he had drunk from and handed it to the girl. Silka raised it to her +lips. + +"Does it please my lord that he fetch me to-morrow, and leave me in +my father's tent to-night?" + +The Sheik laughed good-naturedly, his eyes fixed on the pleading, +youthful face. + +"It pleases me not to leave you; but if you ask me, little one, I +will not refuse. Let it be so." + +As he spoke Silka drained the coffee-cup he had given her, and by +so doing bound herself to him henceforward. + +There was no moon that night; it was dark with the darkness of the +desert, and the splendour of its million stars. As Silka came +softly from the tent she looked upwards; the wild heaving of her +bosom seemed repeated in that restless, pulsing light above. The +soft breath of the desert came to her; it whispered of Melun +waiting for her in the palm-grove. How happy she was! This was +life: one night of life was hers--no more. With the dawn came the +end. This was her first--her last--night of life, but how exquisite +it was! The voice of the desert sang in her ears, the light soft +sand caressed her flying feet. Within bounded her heart, buoyant +with leaping joy. Never had she realised the strength of her swift, +straight ankles--never till now the free, joyous power in her +supple limbs. + +Before her rose the palm-grove, distinct in all its beauty of +feathery-topped trees, against the gorgeous starlit sky. By her +side gleamed now the line of the river, silver in the starlight; +smooth and lovely, studded with its fierce black rocks, flanked by +its orange sand, and here and there, on its edge in the radiant +darkness, rose a lofty palm lifting its swaying branches towards +the jewelled sky. Silka looked at the river curiously. Now she was +keenly alive; life was sharp and alert in every fibre, but it was +the last. This night of life was also a night of good-byes. +To-morrow she would look on the river again, but she would be dead +then--dead to joy and to love; it would only be Doolga who would be +living rich in both these gifts--gifts given by her. The thought +ran through her with a tumultuous gladness. + +She entered the palm-grove and went straight to the tree that +Doolga had told her of, a withered palm. A figure sat at the foot +of the tree. The starlight gleamed on its white clothing. Silka's +feet stopped mechanically as she saw him; her heart beat so that +she could scarcely breathe; but he had caught sight of her, and +sprang to his feet and came towards her. How wonderful he was with +his fine head set on that long, firm throat, and how sweet the face +when his beautiful mouth broke into smiles as he saw her! + +"Doolga!" he exclaimed, and then paused. She heard the little note +of wonder, of joy, in his voice, as she looked up at him in the +soft starlight, filtered through the palms. She was close to him, +and his voice, his presence was a new wonder to her. + +"You are lovelier to-night than ever before. You have a new beauty, +what is it?" and he stretched out his arms passionately to her and +enfolded her in them close to his breast and kissed her. Then in +one moment did the rose of life, that unfolds slowly for most +mortals petal by petal, bloom suddenly for her whole and complete, +and fill her with its wild fragrance, overwhelming her senses. The +happiness of a hundred lives was compressed into that one perfect +moment when his lips touched hers, and she saw his face hang over +hers in the starlight, blazing with the fires of love. + +"This then is life," she thought, as she put her arms round his +neck. "This is what I am giving to Doolga." + +"Am I really more beautiful to-night than I have been?" she asked +presently, as they sat crouched close side by side at the foot of +the palm, looking towards the silver river. + +"A thousand times!" he answered passionately. "I have never loved +you, never seen you as I do to-night." + +"Then you must always remember me as you see me now. However Doolga +looks to you in the future, always remember this night, and how you +loved her then." + +And he took her more closely into his arms, and pressed kisses on +her eyes, and told her in low murmured words of the tent he was +preparing for her, pitched where the cool breeze from the Nile +would reach them, and of the coming sunsets when she would sit +awaiting his return in the doorway, and of the still radiant hours +of the desert night which would pass over them full of delirious +joys; and the girl listened and lived out her life in those moments +against his heart. And ever as she listened, the thought of the +Sheik and his withered arms rose before her. Still it was Doolga's +future she looked into, the secrets of Doolga's happiness she +learned. As often as he murmured, "Doolga!" and caressed her, a +wave of joy passed through her. + +Three hours before the dawn they parted, and with slow, sad steps +she returned to her father's tent. Her strength was spent. Life +and she had finally separated. Entering the tent with noiseless +feet, no sound disturbed the sleeping chief, and she crept to where +her sister sat up, wild-eyed and sleepless, on the bed. + +"This he gave to Doolga," she said, with her lips pressed to +Doolga's ear, and passed over her head a necklace of faultless +beads of jade. + + * * * * * + +The following day, when the last flare of the sunset lit up the sky +with flame, and the delicate branches of the palms of the oasis +showed before them tipped with gold, the Sheik Ilbrahim bent over +his bride sitting before him on the camel, decked out with gold +ornaments in her hair. He saw her smiling, and a glory that was not +of the sunset on her face. + +"Of what is my beloved one thinking?" he asked her. + +She looked up, but she did not see his face above her. She saw only +the tent where the wind from the Nile could come, and Doolga within +radiant with the joy she had given her. + +"Of what should your slave be thinking, lord," she answered, "but +love and happiness?" + + + + +VI + + +It was evening. A sky of purest emerald, luminous, transparent, and +divinely calm, stretched over the city of Damascus, that lies in +its white glory, wrapped round by its mantle of foliage, in the +heart of the burning desert--unhurt, cool, invulnerable in the jaws +of the all-devouring desert sand. In the East, with the first cool +breath of evening comes a spirit of rejoicing: the heat and burden +of the day are over, and there is one hour of pure delight before +the darkness. This hour had come to Damascus: the roses lifted +their heads in the garden, the birds burst into joyous floods of +song, and the trees waved and spread their branches to the little +breeze that came rippling through the crystal air. + +Almost on the confines of the city, where the belt of protecting +verdure grows thin and the gaunt face of the desert presses against +the city walls, rose the square, white dwelling of Ahmed Ali, and +his garden was the largest and most beautiful of the city. High +white walls enclosed it on every side, and from the broad, +travelled highway that ran beside it the dusty and wearied wayfarer +often lifted his eyes to the profusion of gay roses, the syringa, +and star-eyed jasmine that tumbled jubilantly over the edge, and +hung their scented wreaths far above his head. The tinkling of a +fountain could be heard within, and the mad rapture of song from +the birds in the evening, when the scent of the orange blossom +stole softly out on the radiant golden air. On the other side of +the garden was a grove of orange-trees. The rich, glossy, green +foliage rose in dark masses above the high wall, and some +inquisitive, encroaching boughs stretched over and occasionally +dropped their golden fruit into Ahmed's garden. On the inside of +the old, moss-grown wall were numerous buttresses, and in these +angles and corners, sheltered from any breeze, the roses and the +small fruit-trees fairly rioted together, blending their masses of +pink and white bloom. + +On this evening, when the sky shone like one sheet of purest +mother-of-pearl, green and rose and faint purple, the garden was +very still; the only sound was the murmur of the falling water, the +coo of some white doves in a pear-tree, and a very light step +pacing on the tiny narrow path that wound its way round the whole +garden amongst the rose-bushes and lemon-trees. + +Dilama, the youngest of the ladies of the harem, was walking in the +garden with her white veil thrown back and a smile on her small, +red, curling lips. She stooped here and there to gather a flower +whenever a bud or blossom of particular beauty caught her eye, and +fastened now one against her thick brown hair, and now one or two +upon the rich-embroidered muslin that covered the upper part of her +bosom. She was intensely happy: in the spring at Damascus, at +seventeen and in love, who would not be happy? The fires of youth +and love and joy burned in her flesh and danced in her veins and +shone in her eyes, and she sang and smiled to herself as she +gathered the flowers. She was a Druze woman, and gifted with the +wonderful beauty that Nature has showered on the women of Syria. +Skins that the most perfect Saxon skin of milk and rose can +scarcely rival are wedded to eyes of Eastern midnight and brown +tresses filled with shining lights of red and gold. She had been +born in the fierce, barren mountains lying behind Beirut, and at +eight years old had drifted--part of the spoils of a raid--into the +keeping of Ahmed Ali, the richest landowner and merchant of +Damascus. He was a Turk, of pure Turkish blood, and with the large, +generous heart and the kindly nature of the Turk. All the life that +owed him allegiance, that was supported by his hand, was happy and +well cared for--from the magnificent black horses, ignorant of whip +and spur, that filled his stables, and the dogs that lay peacefully +about in his palace, to the beauties of the harem, who tripped +about gaily singing and laughing in their cool halls and shaded +garden. Where the Turk rules there is usually peace, for his nature +is pacific, and in the palace of Ahmed there was joy and peace and +love and pleasure in abundance. There were seven ladies of the +harem, including Dilama, and six of these were happy wives of +Ahmed. Each had one or more sons, handsome, large-eyed, sedate +little Mohammedans, who were being trained by Turkish mothers in +all sorts of gentle ways and manners--in thought and care for +others, in courtesy and kindness; and who were very different in +their childish work and play from the brawling, selfish, cruel +little monsters that European children of the same age mostly are. +But Dilama was not yet Ahmed's wife; she loved him most truly and +deeply as an affectionate daughter. For who could not love Ahmed? +There was a charm in his stately beauty of face and figure, in the +kind musical voice, in the eyes so large and dark and gentle, that +was irresistible. But to Dilama he was something far above her: her +king, her lord indeed, for whom she would lay down life itself +without question, but not the man to whom her ardent simple nature +had turned for love. Ahmed had not sought her. When first she came +to his palace she had been too young except for him to treat as +a pretty child, and the relationship of father and daughter +then established had never yet been broken in upon. And the +light-hearted, sunny-natured Druze girl had taken life just as she +found it, regarding herself as Ahmed's daughter, and rejoicing in +her home of love and beauty she ceased to remember that one day he +would inevitably claim her as his wife, and that that day must be +the beginning or the end of happiness just as she prepared for it. +But she did not prepare for it, she ignored it: flitting like some +golden butterfly through the pleasant hours, and growing fairer +every day, so that the harem women looked at her with a little +sinking of the heart yet no ill-will, and said amongst themselves, +"Surely Ahmed must choose her soon." But Ahmed loved at that time +with his whole soul a Turkish woman, and she was to give him +shortly a second child, and for fear of disturbing her peace of +mind Ahmed remained in the Selamlik, and would not visit his other +wives, nor send for Dilama, though his eyes, like the others, noted +her growing beauty day by day. + +"I will wait in patience," he thought, looking out one morning at +sunrise, and watching Dilama playing with the white doves on the +basin edge of the fountain. "I will wait till Buldoula is well and +strong again. She would fret now, and think I was forgetting her in +a new love if I call Dilama to me yet. I will wait till her second +son is born, and then in her joy and pride she will not be jealous +of the new wife." + +So he waited, but in the game of love he that waits is ever the +loser. That night, when the moon was rising over the white and deep +green of Damascus, Dilama walked, humming to herself, in the +garden, full of a great leaping desire, born of her youth and fine +health and the breath of the May night, to love and be loved. +Suddenly, when she came to the corner, under the drooping boughs of +the grove without the garden, an orange fell, and, just escaping +her head struck her heavily on her bosom. With a great shock she +stood still, looking up, and there, on the summit of the high wall, +amid the green boughs, was a man sitting, leaning over down towards +her, with fiery eyes looking upon her from under a dark green +turban. + +"It is death to be here," she whispered, her face pallid in the +moonlight, "do not stay;" yet her whole being leapt up with hope +that he would disobey. The man laughed softly. + +"It is life to look on you," he said merely, and to her terrified +joy and horrified delight he slid down between the lemon-trees and +the wall, and stood before her in the angle it made, where two +buttresses jutting forward hid him from all view unless one stood +directly opposite. + +Dilama shook from head to foot; in one fierce, sweeping rush, +love passed over and through her as she stood staring with wild +dilated eyes on the form before her. Tall, tall as Ahmed, with +all the grace and strength of youth, lithe and supple, with a +straight-lined, dark-browed face above a stately throat, and dark +kindling eyes, wells of living fire that called all her soul and +heart and womanhood into life. + +"I have often watched you walking in the garden," he murmured, +gently taking in his, one nerveless hand. "I come from your village +in the hills, where you were taken from long ago. I am a Druze," +and he threw his head higher, as the stag of the forest throws his +at the first note of the challenge. Dilama knew well that he was +of her own people. Infant memories, instinctive, implanted +consciousness told her this without the aid of Druze clothing, or +the short, gay dagger thrust into his waist-sash. + +"I think you are not yet the wife of Ahmed Ali?" he went on, as +she simply trembled in silence, wave after wave of emotion passing +through her, striking her heart and choking her voice. "Tell me?" + +Dilama shook her head, and a triumphant smile curved the handsome +lips before her. + +"I knew it; you are mine," he said, in reply, and, bending over her +as she stood shrinking, on the verge of fainting, between terror +and wonder and joy, he kissed her on the lips, not roughly--even +gently--but with such a fire of life on his that it seemed to the +girl, in the destruction of all her usual feelings, in the havoc of +the new ones called in their place, that the actual moment of +dissolution had come. + +That had been some three weeks ago, and now, on this soft, pearly +evening, she was waiting eagerly for the sky to deepen, and the +light of the stars to sharpen, and the orange to fall over the +wall. For the Druze had come many times, and no one had discovered +the lovers, screened by masses of roses in the buttress-sheltered +corner of the wall. In fact, for the last weeks no one had had time +or thought for anything but Buldoula, who lay sick within the +palace walls, and attendants waited anxiously or ran hither and +thither on various errands, and Ahmed was in the depths of anxiety; +and no one thought about Dilama or paid any attention to her, and +she was radiantly happy and self-engrossed, and came and went +between the garden and her own little chamber as she listed, +undisturbed. And this evening, as usual, she slipped unobserved +amongst the roses into the corner of the buttressed wall. A moment +after the boughs overhead parted, and the lithe Druze dropped down +noiselessly beside her. She put her gold braceleted arms round his +strong brown neck, and pressed her silken-covered bosom hard +against his rough cotton tunic. A great rush of rosy light flooded +all the sky for some minutes, then began to pale softly before the +approach of the lustrous purple dark. + +In the palace a light behind one of the mushrabeared windows was +extinguished; there was the sound of the scurry of feet, and then a +long wail came out from the building, rending the pink-hued +twilight. + +"Buldoula is dead!" remarked Dilama simply, as the lovers crouched +together between the wall and the roses. It meant nothing to her, +enclosed in the happy warmth of her lover's arms; death had no +meaning for her yet, hardly seventeen years' journey distant from +birth, and full of all the sap and great leaping fires of life. +Death was something so far away, so impossible to realise. It was +but a word to her--a casket enclosing nothing. Yet the death of +Buldoula was the embryo event in the womb of time from which was to +develop the whole tragedy of her own life. + +"Buldoula is dead," she said again, carelessly, her rose-tipped +fingers smoothing the black sweeping arch of the man's brows. +"Perhaps her son is dead also. Ahmed will be very grieved--she was +going to bear her second son." + +"Little dove! I must take you away to the mountains soon," said the +Druze, clasping her tighter to him. "Soon," he muttered again, +stooping down to look under the rose-boughs to the white-faced +house, now, with all its screened windows, dark. His words seemed +irrelevant, yet they were not. He had a keen prescience that the +death of the favourite of the harem might influence very quickly +Dilama's fate. + +"Why not take me now, Murad? I want to see the mountains," and she +laid her little head, crowned by its masses of brown-gold hair, on +his warm breast. + +"The caravan does not start for two weeks more," he answered +thoughtfully. "We must wait for it. It would be madness to try to +escape alone. We should be seen, noted, and tracked down. Think how +Ahmed will look for his treasure when he finds it stolen! But if +you are hidden in a bale of goods on a camel in the caravan, who +will suspect, who will know that the Druze has taken you? The whole +caravan of Druzes cannot be stopped because Ahmed has lost a wife! +No, in the caravan, with all the rest, we are safe. There is no +other way." + +There was silence while the twilight deepened in the garden, and +the stars began to show above like flashing swords in the sky. In +the languor of love that knows no fear and has no cares, that +opiate of the soul, Dilama lay in his arms and sought his lips and +eyes, and asked no more about caravans and journeys and mountains, +drugged and heavy with love. In an hour when all was velvet +blackness beneath the wall, they kissed farewell. He scaled the +crumbling bricks, and regained the sheltering orange grove, and she +walked slowly back, drawing smooth her filmy veil, towards the +darkened palace. + +Five days later at noontime, as Dilama was sitting in the garden +playing with the tame white doves by the fountain, one of the black +female slaves approached her. Dilama looked up questioningly, +holding a dove to her bosom. + +"The lord is sorrowing within for his dead wife and dead son. He +has sent for you; go in, and lead him away from grief," and the +woman smiled and prostrated herself before Dilama, who shrank +instinctively away like a frightened child. But there is only one +law and one will in the harem, and she rose obediently, letting the +dove go, and stood ready to follow the slave. That meaning smile on +the woman's face filled her with an intuitive, instinctive, +undefined fear, and at the same instant there rushed over her the +realisation of the great happiness that same smile would have +brought her had there been no Murad, had she fled from that +rose-filled corner on that first evening--had she, in a word, +_waited_! This summons to the presence of their lord is what so +many of the harem slaves pine and long for through weary months, +and sometimes years. It came now to her, and it meant nothing but +vague fear and dread. She followed the slave with unelastic steps, +and her brain full of heavy thoughts; they passed the women's +apartments and went on to the Selamlik and to the room of Ahmed, +that looked out with unscreened windows into the cool, deep green +of the garden. The slave drew back at the door, holding a curtain +aside for the girl to enter. She went forward, the curtain fell +behind her, and she was alone with Ahmed. + +He was sitting opposite on a low divan or couch, clothed from head +to foot in a deep blue robe, and with a turban of the same colour +twisted above his level brows--a kingly, majestic figure, and the +girl's heart beat and her eyelids fell as she crept slowly over the +floor towards him. At his feet she sank to her knees, and would +have put her forehead to the ground, but Ahmed bent forward, and +clasping both her arms lifted her on to the couch beside him. + +"And you are the Druze child, Dilama?" he said gently, and leaning +a little back from her, surveyed her intently with dark lustrous +eyes. The girl felt swooning with terror; before his gaze her very +flesh seemed dissolving. It seemed as if her heart, her brain, with +the image of Murad stamped on them, would be laid bare to those +brilliant, searching eyes. What would he not know, suspect, find +out? What would he ask? demand of her? She could not ask herself. +Was this to be the end of his paternal relationship to her? the +beginning of a new one? She dared not lift her eyes lest he should +see their terror; the blood burnt in the surface of all her fair +skin, as if red-hot irons were pressed to it. And Ahmed, gazing +upon her with the pure noonday light, softened by the leafy screen +without pouring over her, drank in her fair Syrian beauty with +delight. The pale, rose-hued silken clothing she wore harmonised +with the ivory and rose of her round arms and throat and cheeks, +and threw up the masses of dark hair that fell beneath her veil to +her slender waist. Ahmed very gently unbound the snowy garment from +her head and stroked her hair lightly, watching the gold gleams in +its ripples as his hand passed over them. He saw her dismay, +confusion, even her terror, and noticed the quiver of her hands and +the irregular leap of her bosom, but these did not dismay him. He +was accustomed to be beloved even as he loved, and the women of the +harem who came to him in fear left him with happy confidence. He +affected now not to see her embarrassment, thinking it to be only +that, and said quietly, "And you have been happy, Dilama, in my +house?" The girl felt she must speak, though her throat seemed +closed and her tongue nerveless. + +"Very happy," she faltered at last in a whisper. + +"But you have been lonely, perhaps?" he asked. "Have the roses and +doves in the garden been companions enough for you? Have you not +been too much alone?" + +In the heavy load of apprehension of intangible fear and horror +that seemed stifling her, a madness of longing came over the girl +to be free from her guilty secret, to have never known Murad. Now +she could have looked up fearless, full of expectant joy! She could +have loved this man; she knew it, now that she felt his love +approaching her: hope was dying within her that ever again would he +regard her simply as his daughter. She knew those tones of the +voice, she had heard them from Murad in the garden, but here the +voice was infinitely more refined, the sound of it exquisitely +musical; and now, that love for her was in it, it told her a new +secret, that she could have given love for love. She knew, though +her eyelids were down, how beautiful the face was that bent over +her: the straight, severe lines of it, the magnificent eyes and +brows burnt through her lids. Ah, why had he waited so long, or she +not waited longer? + +Full of intolerable, irrepressible pain, she looked up at last +suddenly. + +"Why did not my lord come into the garden, to the roses and doves +and--me?" she asked falteringly, her gaze held now irresistibly by +the dark orbs above her. Then, afraid of her own temerity, she +became white as death under his gaze. + +But Ahmed was rather pleased by this first connected speech she +had made in the interview. It sounded to him like the tender +reproach of an amorous, expectant maiden, waiting eagerly for her +love, too long delayed. The under-meaning, the terrible regret for +irrevocable ill, naturally escaped him. He smiled, and put his arm +round her shoulders. "Well, it is not too late," he said, bending +over her. But the girl shrank from his arm, and he realised it +instantly. He was aware directly that there was some feeling in her +not quite fathomed nor understood. It puzzled him. He was far too +deep a thinker, far too refined a nature to treat his women as +inanimate toys to be used for his amusement, either with or without +their consent, as the chance might be. He knew them to be, and +treated them as, individual souls, with right of will and desire +equal to his own, and was too proud to accept the gift of the body +unless he had first conquered the will. But usually there was no +difficulty. Nature had gifted Ahmed with all the best treasures in +her jewel-box; beauty of face and form, strength and grace, charm +of voice and presence--everything needed to ensnare and delight +the senses, and he was accustomed to be loved, passionately adored, +and worshipped. He was naturally a connoisseur in such matters, and +knew well and easily the truth or dissembling in them. But here +there was neither: the girl shrank from him instinctively, and +seemed possessed by nothing but dumb, helpless fear that was +distressing to him. Yet not all distressing, for even in the best +of male natures there always remains some of the instinctive desire +of conquest, the delight in opposition, if not too prolonged, the +love of battle, the hope of victory; and to Ahmed, the invariably +successful lover, the resistance of this slight, rose-leaf creature +he could crush with one blow of his hand roused suddenly all the +primitive joy of the chase, the excitement of pursuit. Only, where +with some natures it would have been brutal and rapid, the end and +triumph assured, the prize the body; here it would be gentle and +dexterous, the end dependent on another, the prize the soul--the +soul, the will, the most difficult quarry to capture, as Ahmed +knew. + +He let his arm slip from her shoulders, and rose and walked over +to the window, looking out for a moment into the delicious green +beyond. Dilama half-sat, half-crouched upon the divan, not daring +to stir, and watched him furtively. + +Ahmed stood for a moment, and there was dead silence in the room. +Then he returned and came towards the couch, standing opposite it, +and looking down at her. + +"Dilama, you seem very much afraid of me, and why is it? Look up +and speak to me. There is no need for fear. Do you think I have +called you here to force you to love me? There is no way of forcing +love. You are free to come and go to and from this room as you +will, but I am lonely and grieved, now Buldoula has been taken away +from me. I would like you to come here and play and sing to me, and +console me; will you?" + +Dilama ventured to lift her eyes to the kingly figure before her, +and meeting the pained, dark eyes bent on her, and realising that +there was nothing, indeed, to make her fear but her own guilty +conscience, she burst suddenly into an uncontrollable passion of +weeping, and slipping from the couch fell sobbing at his feet. + +Ahmed stooped and gathered her up in his arms, holding her to his +breast, and this time she did not shrink from him, but lay there +unresisting, crying violently. For a moment the clasp of his arm, +the touch of gentle sympathy, soothed and comforted her. For one +wild moment she longed to confide in him, to tell him the reality. +What would happen? Was it possible that Ahmed would pardon her, and +let her go to her own life, her own love and lover! No, it was not +possible--any other offence but this; theft or murder he could have +forgiven and sheltered, but this, no! Instinctively she knew and +felt it would not be possible to him--a Turk, free from prejudice +and superstition, liberal as he was--to forgive her crime. Death +for herself and Murad was the best she could expect. Ahmed's own +honour, the traditions of all his house, his great position would +make it impossible for him to let her pass from his, a Turk's harem +to a Druze lover. The thought whirled from her sick brain, leaving +all confused and hopeless as before, and her tears rained fast. +Ahmed smoothed her soft hair and kissed her forehead gently, as it +lay against his breast. + +"Go and fetch your music, and sing to me," he whispered, as her +sobs ceased. "See how lovely the spring time is; it is no time for +tears, but for songs and--love." He murmured the last word very +softly and set her free. Without looking at him she slipped away to +the door in obedience to his command, and in a wild confusion of +feeling in which pleasure struggled with fear. + +When she came back with her instrument, a small pear shaped guitar +in appearance, she was more composed. Her eyes were still red and +swollen, but the soft, elastic skin had already regained its +colouring. As she entered, soft bars of sunlight were falling +through the room, the window had been opened, and the song of the +birds came gaily through it. Ahmed had ordered coffee and +sweetmeats to be brought, and these now stood on a small inlaid +table before her, on whose glistening arabesques of mother of pearl +the sunbeams twinkled merrily. Ahmed's eyes lighted up with tender +pleasure as he saw her enter, and she noted it. He was still +sitting on the couch, and held in his hand a small green leather +case--the counterpart of hundreds to be seen in the jewellers' +windows in Paris. Dilama guessed at once it was some present for +her. Unconsciously the light, gay, butterfly nature of the girl +began to reassert itself in the knowledge that the final issue had +not to be met then; that there was respite for her, delay; and a +natural joy stirred in her looking across at Ahmed. It was +something, after all, to be queen of the harem, to be wooed in +gifts and smiles by its lord. + +"Come here!" he said to her, and as she approached he opened the +case and took from it a bracelet, a limp band of gold with a clasp +of rubies and diamonds that flashed a thousand sparkling rays into +the astonished eyes of the girl, accustomed only to the dull, uncut +or poorly-cut gems of the East. + +"How wonderful! Is it for me, really?" she exclaimed, as Ahmed took +her unresisting arm and clasped the bracelet round it above the +elbow, where it lent a new beauty to the flesh. + +"Now, take some coffee, and then you shall play to me while I rest +and smoke," continued Ahmed, kissing her tenderly between the eyes, +as she gazed up gratefully to him, and though she flushed and +trembled, this time she did not shrink from him. + +The coffee seemed more delicious than any that was served in the +haremlik, and the gold-tipped cigarettes and the jam, made out of +rose leaves, that Ahmed pressed upon her, delighted her senses and +helped to make her think less of the passing hour and Murad, who +would be waiting in stormy passion for her, in the angle of the +wall. "I can't help it; I can't help it!" she thought to herself as +she took up her instrument and bent over the strings to tune them, +while Ahmed stretched himself at full length on the divan to +listen, with a scarlet cushion supporting his regal head. She could +both sing and play well, for Ahmed loved music, and wisely +considered it a safe amusement--an outlet for superfluous passions +and unexpressed feelings--for the women of the harem. Instruments +were provided in plenty, and instruction and all encouragement +given to them to learn, and from her first day in the harem +Dilama's natural voice and talents had been noted and fostered. +This afternoon, at first she was timid, and sang and played +stiffly, carefully, with a great attention to notes and strings; +but slowly the calm and stillness of the beautiful sun-filled room, +the scented air floating in from the garden, the tense atmosphere +of passion about her, and the magic beauty of the face and form +opposite influenced her, grew upon her, wrapped her round, and she +began to sing passionately, ardently, with that abandonment, +without which all music is a hollow sound. Her glorious voice, +fresh, youthful, clear, and pure came rushing joyously over her +lips and filled the room. Her spirits rose as she realised the +power she was exerting. She felt a little impatient at the thought +of Murad. After all, she was a great lady, a lady of the harem of +Ahmed Ali, the richest Turk in Damascus. She was dressed in +delicate silks, and the jewels blazed on her arm. She was queen of +the harem, and the beloved of its lord. He was most desirable to +her and to all women, and, but for Murad, who seemed to stand like +a black shadow between, she would have lain upon his breast with +pure delight. She leant forward now, singing rapturously over the +instrument pressed close to her soft breast, while her rose-hued +fingers leapt among its strings; a transparent flush, delicate as +the tint of a shell, glowed in her cheeks; her large, dark eyes +looked straight at Ahmed, drawing in all the proud beauty of his +face; her hair lay soft and thick without its veil above her brows, +and one heavy tress fell forward over her shoulder to her knee. +Ahmed lay watching her, his eyes filled with sombre fires, his +whole soul listening to the song; and one other lay listening also, +and this was Murad, crouching in the shade of the orange-tree +plantation, catching with distended ears that flood of passionate +melody wafted to him over the still garden, from the window of +Ahmed's apartment, from the Selamlik. + +When the song was finished, and the last notes had faltered softly +into silence, Ahmed rose from his divan and crossed to where she +sat. The room was full now of hot rosy light; the scent of the +orange flowers poured in through the windows; the girl's senses +grew confused and dizzy. Her cheeks were flaming with the +excitement and joy and effort and passion of her singing; her +eyelids were cast down, and beneath them her eyes watched, half in +terror, half in a strained delight, the blue Persian slippers +advancing silently over the matting on the floor towards her. + +"Will Dilama stay with me to-night?" + +The girl looked up, whitening to the lips, and slid to a kneeling +position. Terror at the thought of infidelity to Murad filled her; +he would infallibly find it out and avenge himself. Her face worked +convulsively; she stretched out her hands with a gesture of +despair. + +"What my lord wills: I am the slave of his wishes." + +Ahmed drew his level brows together, and for a moment lined the +serene beauty of his forehead. He gazed at her with a steady, +puzzled look, and at last a faint, half-quizzical smile relaxed his +lips. What could this strange idea, this whim be, so unlike all +Eastern maiden's usual fancies? He had not yet solved the riddle, +nor found the clue! he would do so, but in the meantime she must be +left her freedom. In all noble natures power brings with it a +terrible responsibility, and the habit of stern self-control and +long forbearance. Ahmed's complete power over the frightened piece +of humanity before him brought upon him the necessity practically +of surrender; for the Turk possesses one of the noblest and gentle +natures the human race can boast of. Ahmed remained silent for a +few seconds, and the girl gazed upon him with dilated, fascinated +eyes. She noted in a dazed way how the dark blue robe parted on his +breast and showed beneath a vest of gold silk, fastened a little to +the side by a single emerald; how the column of throat towered +above these, supporting the oval face and beautifully-modelled +chin, and above these again, and the commanding brows, shone +another solitary emerald between the folds of his turban on his +forehead. + +Murad began to seem like a robber depriving her of all these +things. There is no fidelity in the body. Fidelity is a thing of +the mind, always at war with and striving to coerce those instincts +of the senses that are ever clamouring after the new and the +unknown. Nature is ever driving us on to seek new mates. The mind +with its trammels of affection, gratitude, pity, consideration, is +ever dragging us back and seeking to tie us to the old. Nature's +rule is fresh seasons, fresh mates, new hours, new loves. And he +who seeks fidelity must woo the mind, for the body cannot give it, +and knows not its laws. + +After a minute's silence Ahmed stretched out his hand to her and +raised her to her feet. His face had lost its smiles and fire; it +was grave and sombre-looking now, but his voice was gentle as he +answered her: + +"You are free to return to the haremlik," he said; "no one has any +power to coerce you. I wish you to come and go as you will." He +waved his hand towards the curtain with a gesture of dismissal, and +then turned away and rang a little silver bell on a table. The +black slave appeared--it seemed almost instantly--before the +curtain; while Dilama still stood, motionless, irresolute, with a +curious sense of disappointment, mingling with relief, stealing +over her. Ahmed beckoned the slave to him, and said something +in a low voice Dilama did not catch, but the last sentence she +overheard. "Send Soutouma to me," and without taking any further +notice of Dilama, Ahmed turned back towards the divan, threw +himself upon it, and drew the pipe-stand towards him. + +The black slave, with a smile on her curving lips, motioned to +Dilama to precede her, and Dilama, with one look flung backward to +Ahmed's couch in the full sunlight of the window, passed under the +heavy blue curtain out into the passage. "Send Soutouma to me!" the +words went through her with a cutting feeling, as a knife dividing +her flesh. + +Soutouma was next to Buldoula in age and rank--a fair beauty of the +harem, with soft, long, sunlit tresses, and a skin of snow. + +"Yes, why not? why not?" asked Dilama wildly to herself as her feet +dragged along down the passage side by side with the grinning +black's. "I am a Druze girl: I belong to Murad and to the +mountains." But the insidious charm of Ahmed's personality worked +on all the pulses of her body; pulses that know not fidelity, +though her brain kept telling her that Murad would be waiting for +her in the garden. But that night Murad did not come. The garden +stood cool and fragrant, full of perfume and rosy light, full of +the music of birds and the tints of a thousand flowers--all the +invitations to love, but love itself was absent. Dilama searched +the garden from end to end, and walked in and out among the roses +by the buttressed wall, but the garden was empty and silent. She +was alone. Tired at last, and ready to cry with fatigue and +disappointment, she sat down by the red brick wall, leaning her +chin on her hand and gazing up towards the windows of the Selamlik, +which could only be seen in portions here and there through a leafy +screen of plane-tree branches. How still it was in the garden, and +how the scent of the orange flower weighed on the senses! How clear +the pink, transparent air! + +Through that same lucid air, under the spreading plane-trees, and +through the great dim bazaars of the city, walked Murad that +evening with quick, hot feet, and the liquid coursing in his veins +seemed fire instead of blood. He went from Druze to Druze, wherever +he could find them, in their own homes, or sitting at a shady +corner of a street, where the tiny rush-bottomed stools are +gathered round the tea-stalls with their hissing brazen urns and +porcelain cups, or lounging in the bazaars, or at the marble +drinking-fountains. Wherever they were he found them, and spoke a +few hot, eager words to them, urging them to hurry forward their +preparations, and be ready to start with the caravan at the rising +of the full moon. Then, as the rosy light changed into violet dusk, +he went home to his low, yellow, square-roofed dwelling on the edge +of the desert, and sat there in his one unlighted room--sat there +gazing out with unseeing eyes into the lustrous Damascus night +beyond the open door, and with the fingers of his right hand +playing absently with the handle of his knife. + +A week had passed over and Ahmed had not sent again for Dilama, nor +had Murad visited the garden, and to the Eastern girl it seemed as +if the world had stopped still. The hot, languid days, the gorgeous +nights with the blaze of the stars and the rapture of the +nightingales, filled her with madness that seemed insupportable. +She knew of no reason for Murad's desertion. She could find out +nothing. She did not dare to breathe a word to any one of the +anxiety, the wonder, the desperation that seemed choking her. What +had become of him? What had happened? Would he ever come again? And +as he appealed only to her senses, and he was not there, she ceased +to wish for him very much, but thought more of Ahmed and the +Selamlik that were close to her. For the mind and the imagination +love in absence and long after the absent one, but the senses are +stirred by proximity, and turn to the one who is nearest. + +One evening, when the soft sky was a clear crimson and the full +moon rose a perfect disk of transparent silver, faint as yet in the +blood-red glow, Dilama felt as if she could exist no longer in the +still, even, unchanging peace of the women's apartments. The song +of the water without, the coo of the doves, the incessantly +repeated love-note of the mating sparrows, seemed to madden her +beyond endurance. + +She lay face downwards on the soft carpet of her little +sleeping-chamber, and moaned unconsciously aloud, "Let me die! let +me die! I have lost favour with all men." + +The black slave was sitting cross-legged just outside the curtain, +and when these slow, long drawn-out words came from the other side +a light gleamed in her shrewd, beady-black eyes. With one claw-like +hand she cautiously drew back a fold of the curtain, and peering in +saw the foremost lady of the harem lying prostrate, her face +pressed to the floor. She made no sound, but dropping the curtain +noiselessly, sidled slowly off down the dark passage leading to the +Selamlik. Ahmed was alone in his apartment when the slave appeared, +sitting on the broad window ledge gazing out from the window which +overlooked his grounds, and beyond them the white minarets and +shining cupolas of the city. He turned at the interruption, but his +face lighted up with pleasure as he recognised the women's +attendant, and he signed to her to approach. + +"The Lady Dilama is weeping in her chamber, desiring my lord," +announced the slave, with much bowing and prostration, but still +with that confidence which showed she knew how welcome the news +would be to her august listener. Ahmed rose, a fire of joy leaping +up suddenly within him. + +"It is well," he said, in an even tone. "Let the Lady Dilama come +to me, and for yourself take this," and he dropped beside the +crouching heap of black back and shoulder a small velvet bag. The +slave grabbed it and put it in her breast, muttering a thousand +thanks and blessings, and withdrew. + +Once outside, her lean black legs carried her swiftly back to +Dilama's room, where she pushed aside the curtain without ceremony. + +"Come!" she said imperiously, "you are Ahmed Ali's chosen one; he +has sent for you. Put off that torn veil, and all that weeping. I +have new robes here for you." + +Dilama, who had hurriedly gathered herself up at the slave's entry, +shrank away now into a corner of the room, white as death. + +"Has he sent for me?" she asked breathlessly. "Commanded me? Oh, +must I go?" + +The slave looked at her strangely. She had no suspicion of Dilama's +secret, and had no idea that her own misrepresentations were as +gross as they were. But she had no wish to be harsh or unkind to +this girl, who would be in a few hours queen of the harem. She was +puzzled. She drew near to Dilama's shrinking form, and peered into +her face. + +"Yes, he _commands_," she said; "but is it possible you do not +wish to go to Ahmed? He is a king amongst men, and he loves you. +What better fate could there be than to lie on his breast, in his +arms? Is it not better than the ground to which you were crying +just now? Surely you will reward me well to-morrow?" + +Dilama answered nothing. Long shivers were passing through her. It +was decided, then; she could no longer avoid her fate, and already +with that thought the Oriental calm of acceptance came to her. +Besides, where was Murad? She could not tell. Fate had taken him +from her, perhaps--the same Fate that gave her to Ahmed. She was +helpless. She had no choice but to obey. And the words of the +slave, accompanied by those piercing, meaning looks, inflamed her +senses. After that unbearable week of solitude the summons came to +her not all unwelcome, and the supreme thought of Ahmed himself +loomed up suddenly, bringing irresistible joy with it. A flame +passed over her cheeks; she caught the slave's skinny black hand +between her own rose-leaf palms. + +"Yes, I will reward you," she murmured. "Dress me beautifully, +decorate me that I may find favour with Ahmed." + +The slave laughed meaningly. + +"Does the desert traveller burn and sigh after water, and then do +the springs of Damascus not find favour in his eyes?" she asked, +and laughed again as she approached Dilama, and began to undress +her. In a few minutes the whole of the haremlik was in a state of +pleasant excitement. The news of the dressing of the bride spread +into its furthest corners, and the women came to talk and jest, and +the servants fled hither and thither upon errands. Dilama was led +into the large general room, and there bathed from head to foot +with warm rose-water; while the others sat round and chatted +together, and admired her ivory skin, with the wild rose Syrian +bloom upon it, and her masses of gold-tinted chestnut hair. And the +black slave bathed and anointed and dressed her with the utmost +care and great self-importance, and sent the underslaves flying in +all directions, one to gather syringa, and other heavy-scented +blossoms from the garden, and another to fetch the jewels for her +neck; and as the attar of rose bottle was found to be empty, a +slave was sent with flying feet to the bazaar to purchase more; and +Dilama, excited and elated, surrounded by jest and laughter and +smiling faces, felt her youth leap up within her, and rejoice at +coming into its kingdom--love. + +In the bazaar the slave sped to the perfume-seller, and, swelling +with the importance of his mission, stayed a moment to chatter with +the dealer. + +"They are dressing a new bride for my master, and I must hasten +back," he gossiped, lounging on the merchant's little stall. "Ahmed +Ali awaits her in the Selamlik; I must be going. They say her +beauty is wonderful; she is not a Turk, but a Syrian from the +mountains by Beirut. I must hasten: they will be waiting." + +"Yes, hasten on your way," returned the perfume-seller. He was a +Turk, dignified and gracious, and of no mind to listen to gossip +from the harem, of which it was little short of scandalous to speak +so publicly. He had other customers in his shop who could hear, +amongst them a black-browed Druze in a green turban, who was +waiting patiently his turn, and who seemed to listen intently to +this most improper gossip. The slave disappeared with flying feet +to catch up his wasted moments, but when the Turk turned to serve +the silent Druze, he, too, had vanished, and some white-turbaned +Arabs pressed forward in his place. + + * * * * * + +Dilama in her lighted chamber, with her fresh young eyes a little +painted beneath their lids, and heavy gold chains about her soft +young throat, sat looking into the little French mirror of cheap +glass and gilt, and waiting for the attar of rose to be poured on +her shining hair. + +At last the boy returned breathless, and the precious stuff was +poured on her hair and hands. Then she stood up radiant and the +women sighed and smiled by turns as she went out, preceded by the +old slave. A long narrow passage, lighted overhead by swinging +coloured lamps, divided the women's from the men's apartments, and +through this they passed noiselessly over the matting-covered +floor. At the end fell heavy curtains, concealing the door and some +steps. Here the slave left the girl, and Dilama went through the +curtains alone. She mounted the steps and passed through the door. +All was quite silent here, and the passage unlighted, except that +through a tiny window high up above her head a streak of moonlight +fell across her way. Dilama paused oppressed, she knew not by what +feeling. Only a short passage and another curtained door divided +her now from Ahmed's presence. Her breath came fast, her pulses +beat nervously, and her feet dragged; slowly and unwillingly she +crept onward, harassed by cold, vague fears. Before the door itself +she trembled, and her soft hands and wrists hardly availed to push +it open. It yielded slowly, and fell to behind her in silence. + +The room was full of light; a silver blaze of moonlight illumined +it from end to end. The great windows, over which usually the +curtains were drawn, stood uncovered and wide open to the soft +Damascus air. The scent of roses and jessamine from the great man's +garden stole in with the silver light. The girl paused when just +over the threshold: she was cold and frightened, and her body +shook. Ahmed did not move or speak. He was sitting sideways to one +great window, with his head resting against the high back of the +one European chair that the room possessed. The light was so strong +that the rich, deep blue of the turban was distinctly visible in +it, but his face was in shadow. She could see, however, the noble +throat and pose of the shoulders as he sat waiting. The girl's +heart beat with a little sense of pleasure as she looked. Her feet +crept slowly a little farther into the room. A great tide of +pleasure was really just outside her heart, and would have rushed +in and overwhelmed it in waves of joy had she but opened her +heart's doors to it; but the shadow of Murad was on the bolts and +locks, and she felt afraid. The silence and great silver light in +the room oppressed her. Ahmed had not heard her enter, and had not +stirred nor looked at her. She crept a little closer. The beauty of +the majestic figure called her irresistibly. She drew closer. She +had passed one window now, and was near enough to see the jewels +flash on the slender hand that hung over the chair-arm, and the +glistening light on the embroidered Turkish slippers on his feet. +Shading her brow with one hand, Dilama came forward, fell at those +feet and kissed them. Still there was no movement, no sound. This +was so unlike Ahmed's way of treating his slaves, that the girl, +forgetting her fears, looked up in sheer surprise. Then her heart +seemed to stop suddenly, and then leap with excessive thuds of +horror against her breast. The face above her seemed carved in +stone, pale, bloodless, calm; it was set, as the girl realised in a +moment of terror and agony, in a repose that would never be broken. +The large, dark eyes, still open, gazed past her, sightless, +changeless. Fear, her fear of him, her awe, her oppressed terror +fell from her, giving way to an infinite regret, a sorrow, a sense +of loss that rushed over her, filling every cell, every atom of her +being. She, the unwilling, the reluctant, the slow-coming, the +grudging bride, now stood free. The bridegroom asked of her +nothing, demanded nothing, needed nothing, desired nothing. + +The slave-girl neither shrieked nor fainted. A great, convulsive +sob tore itself from her trembling body as she rose from her knees +and bent over the sitting figure. Wildly she passed her soft, +shaking fingers across his brow, still warm, and round his throat, +seeking mechanically the wound; then her eyes fell on the gold silk +of his tunic, and just over the left breast she saw a little brown +patch, and on the left side of the chair the silver light gleamed +on a small, dark-red pool. He had been stabbed as he sat there, +waiting for her--stabbed from the back, and the dagger thrust +through to the little brown spot in the front of the tunic. And +through that tiny door his life had gone. + +Lying at his feet, Dilama sobbed uncontrollably, rolling her head, +with its wonderful crown of flower-decked hair, and her pink-silk +clad body amongst the rugs on the floor. What was the worth or use +of anything now, silk or bridal attire, or beauty, or flower-decked +hair? Never would any of them now be mirrored in his eyes again. +Never could anything change that awful serenity, that implacable +silence, out of which she felt her own love, her own desire rush +upon her and devour her. Ahmed had been hers and she had shrunk +from him, and now all the blood in her body she would have given +willingly to replace that little scarlet stream that had borne away +his life. + +As she lay there, weeping in an agony of despair, a dark shadow +suddenly grew in the window, and fell a black patch in the panel of +white light upon the floor. A lithe figure balanced a moment on the +ledge of the open window, then leapt with the silent elastic bound +of a cat into the room. Dilama sprang from the floor to her knees +with a smothered cry of terror. + +"Murad! why have you come here?" + +The Druze leant over her and caught her arm fiercely. + +"To claim my own. It is not the first visit I have made to-night, +as you see," and as he dragged her up from her knees he indicated +the motionless figure beside them. + +"You killed him!" she whispered, gazing up with dilated, terrified +eyes. + +"Who should, if not I? Had he not taken my wife? Come, we must be +going." + +With the nail-like grip on her arm, and the low, savage tones in +her ears, and the blazing eyes like a tiger's, inflamed with the +lust of murder above her, the girl felt sick and half-fainting with +fear and misery. + +"He did not take me. I was always faithful, Murad. I love you. +I--" she stammered. + +"It is well," returned Murad with a grim smile, "and these tears I +suppose are because I was too long absent? It is true I have been +some time: I had much to do, and then I knew I was quite safe, now +I had settled all accounts with him. Come! the caravan is ready; +the camels wait for you." + +He dragged her towards the open square, the great square of the +window. Without, the night-flies and the moths danced in the silver +beams, the trees rose motionless and stately in the sultry air, the +gracious hours moved on with all the tranquil splendour of the +Oriental night. The girl threw her eyes over the sitting figure, +unmoved by all the strenuous passions fighting round it. Wildly, in +despairing agony, she stretched out her arms towards it in a vain, +unconscious passionate appeal. + +The Druze struck them downwards, and gripping her unresisting body +more tightly, he leapt from the window to the slight wooden +staircase without, and, like a tiger with his prey, crept away +stealthily through the silver silence of the rose garden towards +the desert. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Six Women, by Victoria Cross + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13238 *** diff --git a/13238-h/13238-h.htm b/13238-h/13238-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2db146b --- /dev/null +++ b/13238-h/13238-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,7371 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html lang="en"><!-- FIXME --> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" + content="text/html; charset=UTF-8"> +<meta content="pg2html (binary v0.16)" + name="generator"> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of + Six Women, + by Victoria Cross +</title> +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + body { font-size: 100%; } + p { text-indent: 1.5em; + margin-left: 15%; + margin-right: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 { text-align: center; } + hr { width: 50%; } + hr.full { width: 100%; } + hr.short {width: 20%; } + p.ar {margin-top: 0em; text-align: right; margin-right: 20%; } + p.foot { margin-right: 20%; text-align: right; font-size: 90%; margin-top: 0em; } + p.toc { text-align: center; font-size: 90%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + p.note { text-indent: 0em; font-size: 90%; text-align: center; } + p.note2 {text-indent: 0em; text-align: left; margin-left: 30%; font-size: 90%; } + p.block { text-indent: 0em; margin-left: 20%; margin-right: 15%; margin-bottom: .5em; } + center { padding: 0.8em;} + a:link {color: blue; text-decoration: none; } + link {color: blue; text-decoration: none; } + a:visited {color: navy; text-decoration: none; } + a:hover {color: red; } + --> +</style> +</head> +<body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13238 ***</div> + +<div style="height: 8em;"><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br></div> +<hr> +<br> +<h1> + Six Women +</h1> +<br> +<h4> + <i>By</i> +</h4> +<h3> + VICTORIA CROSS +</h3> +<br> +<h5> + NEW YORK<br> + MITCHELL KENNERLEY +</h5> +<hr> +<br> +<p class="note2"> + <i>BY VICTORIA CROSS</i><br><br> + + LIFE'S SHOP WINDOW<br> + ANNA LOMBARD<br> + SIX WOMEN<br> + SIX CHAPTERS OF A MAN'S LIFE<br> + THE WOMAN WHO DIDN'T<br> + TO-MORROW? <br> + PAULA<br> + A GIRL OF THE KLONDIKE<br> + THE RELIGION OF EVELYN HASTINGS<br> + LIFE OF MY HEART +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<br> +<p class="note"> + DEDICATED TO<br> + H. M. G. AND E. F. C. <br> + AND OUR MEMORIES OF THE EAST. +</p> + +<hr class="short"> + + +<p class="toc"><big><i>Contents</i></big></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0001"> + I</a>: <small>CHAPTERS + <a href="#2HCH0001">I</a>, + <a href="#2HCH0002">II</a>, + <a href="#2HCH0003">III</a>, + <a href="#2HCH0004">IV</a></small></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0006"> + II</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0007"> +III</a>: <small>CHAPTERS + <a href="#2HCH0005">I</a>, + <a href="#2HCH0006"> + II</a></small></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0010"> +IV</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0011"> +V</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0012"> +VI</a></p> +<br> +<hr class="short"> + +<a name="2H_4_0001"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 3em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h1> + SIX WOMEN +</h1> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + I +</h2> +<a name="2HCH0001"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br> +<h3> + CHAPTER I +</h3> +<p> + Listless and despondent, feeling that he hated everything in life, + Hamilton walked slowly down the street. The air was heavy, and the + sun beat down furiously on the yellow cotton awnings stretched over + his head. Clouds of dust rose in the roadway as the white bullocks + shuffled along, drawing their creaking wooden carts, and swarms of + flies buzzed noisily in the yellow, dusty sunshine. Hamilton went + on aimlessly; he was hot, he was tired, his eyes and head ached, he + was thirsty; but all these disagreeable sensations were nothing + beside the intense mental nausea that filled him, a nausea of life. + It rose up in and pervaded him, uncontrollable as a physical + malady. In vain he called upon his philosophy; he had practised it + so long that it was worn out. Like an old mantle from the + shoulders, it fell from him in rags, and he was glad. He felt he + hated his philosophy only less than he hated life—hated, yet + desired as the man hates a mistress he covets, and has never yet + possessed. "Never had anything, never done anything, never felt + anything decent yet," he mused. +</p> +<p> + He was an exceptionally handsome and attractive individual, and + though in reality forty years of age, he had the figure, the look, + and air of twenty-eight. Masses of black hair, without a white + thread, waved above a beautifully-cut and modelled face, of which + the clear bronze skin, with its warm colour in the cheeks, was not + the least striking feature. He was about six feet or a little over + in height, and had a wonderfully lithe, well-knit figure, and a + carriage full of grace and dignity. A bright, charming smile that + came easily to his face, and an air of absolute unconsciousness of + his own good looks, completed the armoury of weapons Venus had + endowed him with for breaking hearts. But Hamilton neglected his + vocation: he broke none. He got up early, and slaved away at his + duties for the Indian Civil Government in his office all day, and + went to bed dead tired at night, with nothing but a dreary + consciousness of duty done and more duty waiting for him the + following day, as a sleeping companion. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton's life had been ruined by an early and an unsuccessful + marriage. At twenty, when full of the early, divine fires of life, + he had married a girl of his own age and rank, dazzled by the + beauty she then, in his eyes, possessed, and in that amazing + blindness to character that make women view men with wondering + contempt. His blindness, however, ended with the ceremony. On his + wedding-night the woman, who, it must be admitted, had acted her + part of loving submissiveness, of gentle devotion, admirably, + mocked at him and his genuine, ardent passion. +</p> +<p> + How well he had always remembered her words to him as they stood + face to face in the chilly whiteness of an English bridal chamber + in midwinter! "It's no use, dear, I don't want any of this sort of + thing. It seems to me coarse and stupid, and I don't want the + bother of a dozen babies. I married because I wanted the position + of a married woman, and a nice presentable man to go about with in + society. Besides, things were not satisfactory at home, and I + wanted a man to keep me, and all that. But I don't see why you + should get into such a state of mind about it. I will keep house, + and be perfectly good and amiable, and we can go about together, of + course; only I want to keep my own room." +</p> +<p> + And how well he remembered her as she stood there, shattering his + life with her cold, light words—a tall, slim girl, in her white + dinner dress! She had been very fair then, with a quantity of soft + flaxen hair, which shortly after she had taken to dyeing—a thing + he had always hated. She had a small, heart-shaped face, so light + in colour as to suggest anæmia, with a high, thin nose, of which + the nostrils were excessively pinched together, a short upper lip, + and a thick, quite colourless mouth, small when closed, when she + laughed opening wide far back to her throat, showing, as it seemed, + an infinite quantity of long, narrow, white, wolf-like teeth. +</p> +<p> + How hideous she had suddenly appeared to him in those moments, seen + through the dark waves of passion she rolled back upon him! In the + hot, rosy glow she had deliberately conjured up before his eyes of + love and love returned he had thought her beautiful. Now, as she + took the veil from her mean, base mind, it fell also from her + beauty, and he saw her ugly, as she really was, body and soul. + Stunned and amazed, loathing his own folly, his own blindness, + condemning these more than he did her cruelty, Hamilton had + listened in silence while she revealed herself. When the first + shock was over, he had set himself to talk and reason with her. + Naturally intensely kind and sympathetic, it was easy for him to + see another's view, to put himself in another's place. He blamed + himself at once, more than her, for the position he now found + himself in. And patiently he tried to understand it, to find the + clue, if possible, to remedy it. He reasoned long and gently with + her, but she, knowing well the generous nature she had to deal + with, yielded not an inch. Hamilton was not the man to use force or + violence. The passions of the body, divested of their soul, were + nothing to him. On that night she struck down within him all desire + for or interest in her. He left her at last, and withdrew to + another room, where he sat through the remaining hours of the + night, looking into the face of his future. +</p> +<p> + Shortly after, he had left for India, the corpse of dead passion + within his breast. He made a confident of no one, told no one of + his secret burden, remitted half his pay regularly to his wife with + that obedience to custom and duty as the world sees it, with that + quiet dutifulness that is so astounding to the onlooker, but + characteristic of so many Englishmen, and threw himself into his + work, avoiding women and personal relations with them. +</p> +<p> + Such a life as this invariably calls down the anger of Venus, and + Hamilton had worn out by now the patience of the goddess. +</p> +<p> + The tragedy of Euripides' Hippolytus is called a myth, but that + same tragedy is played out over and over again, year by year, in + all time, and is as true now as it was then. The slighted goddess + takes her revenge at last. As he walked on, the sound of some + tom-toms dulled by distance came to his ears. He hesitated at a + crossing where a side alley led down towards the bazaar, then + without thought or intention walked down the turning, the music + growing louder as he advanced. +</p> +<p> + It came from a house some way lower down, before the open door of + which hung a large white sheet with scarlet letters on it. Hamilton + glanced up and read on it, "Dancing girls from the Deccan. + Admission, six annas. Walk in." He stared dully at it till the red + letters danced in the fierce, torrid sunlight, and the flies, + finding him standing motionless, came thickly round his face. A + puff of hot wind blew down the street, bringing the dust: it lifted + a corner of the sheet and turned it back from the doorway. Within + looked cool and dark. The entry was a square of darkness. He was + tired of the sun, the heat, the noise, the dust and the flies. With + no thought other than seeking for shelter, he stepped behind the + sheet and was in the darkness; a turnstile barred his way: on the + top of it he laid down his six annas, his eyes too full of the + yellow glare of the outside to see whom he paid: he felt the + turnstile yield, and stumbled on in the obscurity. A hand pushed + him between two curtains. Then he found himself in a low square + room, and could see about him again by the subdued light of oil + lamps fixed against the wall. At one end was the small stage, its + scarlet curtain now down; in front a row of tin lamps, primitive + footlights, and the rest of the room was filled with rows of empty + chairs. Mechanically and without interest, Hamilton went forward + and seated himself in the first of these rows. The tom-toms had + ceased: there was quiet, an interval of rest presumably for the + dancers. It was far cooler than outside, and Hamilton breathed a + sigh of relief as he sank into his seat. The dimness of the light, + the quiet, the coolness all pleased him: he had not known till he + sat down how tired he was. He might have sat there a quarter of an + hour, his mind in that state of hopeless blank that supervenes on + overmuch unsatisfactory thinking, when suddenly the tom-toms + started up again with a terrific rattle, and the scarlet curtain + was somewhat spasmodically jerked up, displaying a semicircle of + girls seated on European chairs facing the tin lamps. Two of the + seven were African girls, with the woolly hair and jet black skin + of their race; they were seated one at each end of the semicircle, + dressed in short scarlet skirts, standing out from their waist in + English ballet-girl fashion, the upper part of their bodies bare, + except for the masses of coloured glass necklaces covering their + breast from throat to waist. The next pair of girls seemed to + represent Spanish dancers, and were in ankle-long black and yellow + dresses, little yellow caps with bells depending from them sat in + amongst their masses of black hair, and they held languidly to + their sides their tambourines and castenets. Next on the chairs sat + two strictly Eastern dancers in transparent pale green gauzy + clothing held into waist and each ankle by jeweled bands. Their + pale ivory bodies shone through the filmy green muslin as the moon + shines clearly in green water, and the jewels blazed like stars + with red and blue fires at each movement of their limbs. Their + heads were crowned simply with white clematis, and the glory of + their straight-featured Circassian faces, together with the + unrivalled contours of softly moulded throat and breast and perfect + limbs, veiled only so much as a light mist may veil, would have + taken the breath away of the most inveterate frequenter of the + Alhambra and Empire in dull old England. Hamilton drew in his + breath with a little start as he first saw the semicircle, but it + was not on the Circassians that his eyes were fixed, but on the + very centre figure of that beautiful half-moon. Set in the centre, + she seemed to be considered the pearl amongst them, as indeed she + was. The mist that enveloped her was not pale green as the veils of + the other two, but white, and the beautiful perfect form that it + enclosed was of a warmer, brighter tint than theirs. +</p> +<p> + The white films of the drapery fell from the base of her throat, + leaving her arms quite bare, but softly clinging to breast and + flanks, till a gold band resting on her hips confined it closely, + and depressed in the centre, was fastened by a single enormous + ruby, the one spot of blood-red colour upon her. Beneath the + sloping belt of gold fell her loose Turkish trousers of gleaming + white, transparent tissue, clasped at the ankles by bands of gold. + On her feet were little Turkish slippers, on her brow—nothing, but + the crown of her radiant youth and beauty. Hamilton, gazing at it + across the footlights, thought he had never seen, either pictured + or in the flesh, a face so beautiful, so full of the beauty, the + goodness, the power and wonder of life. +</p> +<p> + The sight thrilled him. Like the power of electricity, its power + began to run along his veins, heating them, stirring them, calling + upon nerve and muscle and sense to wake up. He looked, and life + itself seemed to stream into him through his eyes. The girl's face + was a well-rounded oval, supported on the round, perfect column of + her throat; the eyes seemed pools of blackness that had caught all + the splendour and the radiance of a thousand Eastern nights. The + fires of many stars, the whole brilliance of the purple nights of + Asia were mirrored in them. Above them rose the dark, arching span + of the eyebrows on the soft warm-tinted forehead, cut in one line + of severest beauty with the delicate nose. Beneath, the curling + lips were like the flowers of the pomegranate, a living, vivid + scarlet, and the rounded chin had the contour and bloom of the + nectarine. +</p> +<p> + She smiled faintly as she met the fixed gaze of Hamilton's eyes + across the footlights—such an innocent, merry little smile it + seemed, not the mechanical contortions one buys with pieces of + silver. Hamilton's blood seemed to catch light at it and flame all + over his body. He sat upright in his seat: gone were his fatigue, + his thirst, his eye-ache. His frame felt no more discomfort: his + whole soul rushed to his eyes, and sat there watching. In some men + their physical constitution is so closely knitted to the mental, + that the slightest shock to either instantly vibrates through the + other and works its effect equally on both. Hamilton was of this + order, and his body responded, instantly now, to the joy and + interest born suddenly in his mind. +</p> +<p> + A moment after the curtain was rolled up, a huge negro, dressed in + a fancy dress of scarlet, and with a high cap of the same colour on + his head, came on from the side. In his hand he carried a small + dog-whip, and as he cracked it all the girls stood up. Hamilton + sickened as he looked at him: an indefinable feeling of horror came + over him as this man stalked about the stage. He pointed with his + whip to the two African girls at the end of the semicircle, and + they came forward, while the rest sat down. A horrid uneasy feeling + of discomfort grew up in Hamilton, similar to that which a lover of + animals feels, when called upon to witness performing dogs, and all + the fear and anxiety pent up in their fast-beating little hearts is + communicated to himself. He watched the girls' faces keenly as the + negro went round and placed himself behind the middle chair of the + semicircle, while the two Africans danced. Hamilton hardly noticed + their dance, a curious barbaric performance that would have been + alarming to the British matron, but was neither new nor interesting + to Hamilton. He kept his eyes fixed on the white-clothed girl in + the centre, and the sinister figure behind her chair. She seemed + calm and indifferent, and when the negro put his hand on her + shoulder looked up and listened to his words without fear or + repulsion. Hamilton, keenly alive, with every sense alert, sat in + his chair, a prey to the new and delightful feeling, not known for + years, of interest. +</p> +<p> + Yes, he was interested, and the energetic sense of loathing for + the negro proved it. The music, loud and strident—an ordinary + Italian piano-organ having been introduced amongst the Oriental + instruments—banged on, and then abruptly came to a stop when the + negro cracked his whip. The two African women resumed their chairs, + there was some applause, and a good many small coins fell on the + stage from the hands of the audience. The second pair of girls + rose, came forward and commenced to dance, the organ playing some + appropriate Spanish airs. After these, the two Indian girls who + gave the usual <i>dance de ventre</i> to a lively Italian air on the + organ. Then, at last, <i>she</i> rose from her chair and approached the + footlights. The organ ceased playing, only the Indian music + continued: wild sensual music, imitating at intervals the cries of + passion. +</p> +<p> + To this accompaniment the girl danced. +</p> +<p> + Had any British matrons been present we must hope they would have + walked out, yet, to the eye of the artist, there was nothing coarse + or offending, simply a most beautiful harmony of motion. The girl's + beauty, her grace and youth, and the slight lissomness of all her + body lent to the dance a poetry, a refinement it would not have + possessed with another exponent. +</p> +<p> + Moreover, though there was a certain ardour in her looks and + gestures, in the way she yielded her limbs and body to the + influence of the music, yet there was also a gay innocence, a + bright naïve irresponsibility in it that contrasted strongly with + the sinister intention underlying all the movements of the other + two Indian dancers. At the end of the dance Hamilton took a rupee + from his pocket and threw it across the tin lamps towards her feet. + She picked it up smiling, though she left the other coins which + fell on the stage untouched, and went back to her chair. +</p> +<p> + After her dance, the great negro came forward and did a turn of his + own. Hamilton looked away. What was this man to the little circle? + he wondered. He could not keep his mind off that one query? Were + they his slaves? willing or unwilling? did they constitute his + harem? or were they paid, independent workers? His mind was made up + to get speech with this one girl, at least, that evening. This + delightful feeling of interest, this pleasure, even this keen + disgust, all were so welcome to him in the dreary mental state of + indifference that had become his habit, that he welcomed them + eagerly, and could not let them go. Beyond this there was rising + within him, suddenly and overwhelmingly, the force of Life, + indignant at the long repression it had been subjected to. Man may + be a civilized being, accustomed to the artificial restraints and + laws he has laid upon himself, but there remains within him still + that primitive nature that knows nothing, and never will learn + anything of those laws, and which leaps up suddenly after years of + its prison-life in overpowering revolt, and says, "Joy is my + birthright. I will have it!" +</p> +<p> + This moment is the crisis of most lives. It was with Hamilton now, + and it seemed suddenly to him that twenty years of fidelity to an + unloved, unloving woman was enough. The debt contracted at the + altar twenty years before had been paid off. The promise, given + under a misunderstanding to one who had wilfully deceived him, was + wiped out. It was a marvel to him in those moments how it had held + him so long. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton had one of those keen, brilliant minds that make their + decisions quickly, and rarely regret them. He took his resolution + now. That prisoner in revolt within him should be free; he would + strike off the fetters he had worn too long and vainly. He was + before the open book of Life, at that page where he had stood so + long. With a firm decisive hand he would take the new page, and + turn it over. That last page, on which his wife's name was written + large, was completely done with, closed. +</p> +<p> + The old joyous spirit, the keen eagerness for love and joy and + life, the Pagan's gay rejoicing in it, that had been such a marked + feature of his disposition before his marriage, came back to him, + rushed through him, refilled him. +</p> +<p> + His marriage, with its disillusionment, had crushed it out of him + for a time, and, with that same decisiveness that marked him now, + he had turned over the pages of youthful dreams and joys and loves, + and opened the next page of work, of strenuous endeavour, of a + hard, rigid observance of fidelity to the vows he had taken. And + for a time work and its rewards, effort and its returns, a hard, + practical life in the world amongst men, had held him. That now + was no longer to be all to him. +</p> +<p> + His life, and such joy as it might hold for him, was to be his own + again. The joy of the decisions filled him, elated him. He felt as + if his mind had sudden wings, and could lift him with it to the + roof. +</p> +<p> + Such a decision, when it comes, seems to oneself, as it seemed to + Hamilton now, a sudden thing. It has the force and shock of a + revelation, but it is not really sudden. The great rebellion nearly + all natures—certainly some, and these usually the greatest and + best—feel at the absence of joy in their lives had been gradually + growing within him, gathering a little strength each day. It is + only the climax of such feelings that is sudden—the awakening of + the mind to their presence. The growth has been going on day by + day, week by week, unmeasured, unreckoned with. +</p> +<p> + Immediately the curtain fell, Hamilton left his seat and went + up to a door, reached by a few steps, on the level of the + footlights, and at the left side of them. No one hindered him. + The rest of the audience were going out. He pushed the door, + which yielded readily, and he passed through. A narrow, + white-washed, lath-and-plaster passage opened before him, at the + end of which he saw a tin lamp burning against the wall and heard + voices. +</p> +<p> + The passage led into a three-cornered room, where he found some of + the dancers and an old woman who was huddled up on a straw mat in + the corner. The negro was not there. The girls stood about idly; + some were changing their clothes. They did not seem to heed his + presence, except the one he was seeking, who came straight towards + him. As she moved across the dirty, littered room, her limbs under + their transparent covering moved, and her head was carried with the + air of an empress. "Will the Sahib come with me?" she said in a + low, soft tone. She raised her eyes to his face. They were wide, + enquiring, like the deer's brought face to face with the hunter in + the green thickets. +</p> +<p> + The other girls glanced towards him, and some smiles were + exchanged, but no one approached him. They seemed to understand he + was there only for the star of the troupe. Hamilton looked down + into those glorious midnight eyes fixed upon him, and a faint + colour came into his cheek. +</p> +<p> + "I will come wherever you lead," he answered in Hindustani. These + surroundings were horrible, but the shade of them did not seem to + dim her charm. +</p> +<p> + The scent in the air was disagreeable. Tawdry spangles and false + jewels lay about on the tumble-down settees. From behind little + doors that opened from the walls round came the sound of men's + voices. +</p> +<p> + "Let the Sahib come this way, then," she answered, and turned + towards one of the small doors in the wall. This took them into + another tiny, musty-smelling passage that wound about like the run + of a rabbit warren, only wide enough for one to pass along at a + time, and the strips of lath were so low overhead that Hamilton + bent his neck involuntarily to avoid them. +</p> +<p> + At a door in the side of this she stopped and pushed it open; the + little run way wound on beyond in the darkness. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton followed her into the sloping-roofed, lath-and-plaster + pent-house that had been run up between the back of the stage and + the wall of the building. Native lamps were hooked into the wall, + and their light showed the garish ugliness of it all—the hastily + whitewashed walls, the scraps of ragged, dirty, scarlet cloth hung + here and there over a bulge or stain in the plaster: the boarded + floor, uneven and cracked: the bed against the wall, not too clean + looking, its dingy curtains not quite concealing the dingier + pillows; the broken chair on which a basin stood, placed on two + grey-looking towels; another chair with the back rails knocked out + leaning against the wall. +</p> +<p> + He threw his gaze round it in a moment's rapid survey, then he + pressed to the rickety, uneven door and shot the bolt. +</p> +<p> + The girl stood in the middle of the room, an exquisitely lovely + figure. She regarded him with wide, innocent eyes. Hamilton felt + all the blood alight in his veins; it seemed to him he could hear + his pulses beating. Never in his life before had joy and passion + met within him to stir him as they did now, but in natures where + there is a strong, deep strain of intellectuality the body never + quite conquers the mind, the light of the intellect never quite + goes down, however strong the sea, however high the waves of + animal passion on which it rides; and now Hamilton felt the great + appeal to his brain as well as to his senses that the girl's beauty + made. +</p> +<p> + He went up to her. She looked at him with an intense admiration, + almost worship in her eyes. A man at such moments looks, as Nature + intended he should, his very best, and Hamilton's face, of a noble + and splendid type, lighted now by the keenest animation, held her + gaze. +</p> +<p> + "Tell me," he said in a low tone, for footsteps passed on the + creaking boards, and gibbering voices and laughter could be heard + outside, "tell me, what is that man to you? Do you belong to him, + all of you?" +</p> +<p> + "That...? He is not a man, he is a ... nothing," replied the girl, + looking up with calm, glorious eyes. "He can do no harm ... nor + good." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton drew a quick breath. +</p> +<p> + "You dance like this every evening, and then choose someone in the + audience in this way?" he questioned, slipping his hand round her + neck and looking down at her, a half-amused sadness coming into his + eyes. +</p> +<p> + The girl shook her head with a quick negation. +</p> +<p> + "No, I have only been here a few days—a week, I think. Did you + notice that old woman as we came through here? I belong to her; she + taught me to dance. She brought me here, and I dance for the + Nothing, but I have never taken any one like this before. The other + girls do, every night, but each night the Nothing said to me, 'No + one here to-night, good enough. Wait till an English Sahib comes.'" +</p> +<p> + Hamilton listened with a paling cheek; his breath came and went + faintly; he hardly seemed to draw it; he put his next question very + gently, watching her open brow and proud, fearless eyes. +</p> +<p> + "Do you know nothing of men at all, then?" +</p> +<p> + "Nothing, Sahib, nothing," she answered, falling on her knees + suddenly at his feet, and raising her hands towards him. "This will + be my bridal night with the Sahib. The Nothing told me to please + you, to do all you told me. What shall I do? how shall I please + you?" +</p> +<p> + Hamilton looked down upon her: his brain seemed whirling; the + pulses along his veins beat heavily; new worlds, new vistas of life + seemed opening before him as he looked at her, so beautiful in her + first youth, in her unclouded innocence, full, it is true, of + Oriental passion, with a certain Oriental absence of shame, but + untouched, able to be his, and his only. +</p> +<p> + Before he could speak again, or collect his thoughts that the + girl's words had scattered, her soft voice went on: +</p> +<p> + "Surely the Sahib is a god, not a man. I have seen the men across + the footlights: there were none like the Sahib. I said to my + mother, 'I do not like men, I do not want them; what shall I do?' + And my mother said, 'There is no hurry, my child; we will wait till + a rich Sahib comes.' But you are not a man, you must be a god, you + are so beautiful; and I am the slave of the Sahib, for ever and + ever." +</p> +<p> + She looked up at him, great lights seemed to have been lighted in + the midnight pools of her eyes, the curved lips parted a little, + showing the perfect, even teeth; the rounded, warm-hued cheeks + glowed; the lids of her eyes lifted as those of a person looking + out into a new world. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton stood looking at her, and two great seas of conflicting + emotions swept into his brain, and under their tumult he remained + irresolute. Mere instincts and nature, the common impulse of the + male to take his pleasure whenever offered, prompted him to draw + her to his breast and let her learn the great joy of life in his + arms; but some higher feeling held him back: the knowledge that the + first way in which a woman learns these things colours her whole + after estimation of them, restrained him. +</p> +<p> + Here he saw, suddenly, there was new ground for Love to build + himself a habitation upon. Should it be but a rude shanty, loosely + constructed of Desire? Was it not rather such a fair and lovely + site that it was worthy a perfect temple, built and finished with + delicate care? +</p> +<p> + This flower of wonderful bloom he had found by chance in such a + poor, rough garden, was it not better to carry it gently to some + sheltered spot, to transplant and keep it for his own, rather than + just tear at it with a careless touch in passing by? +</p> +<p> + Hamilton had the brain of the artist and the poet; things touched + him less by their reality than by that strange halo imagination + throws round them. +</p> +<p> + The sound of some shuffling steps in the passage outside, a lurch + as of some drunken and unsteady figure, some whispered words, and + then a burst of ribald laughter just outside the door, decided him. + No: her wedding night should not be here. Keen in his sympathy with + women, Hamilton knew how often that night recurs to a woman's + thoughts, and should its memories always bring back to her this + loathsome shed, these hideous sounds? +</p> +<p> + A repulsion so great filled him that it swept back his desire for + the moment. A great eagerness to get her away unharmed, unsoiled + from such a place, filled him. Already she seemed to be part of + himself, to be a possession he must guard. His heart was empty and + hungry: by means of her beauty and this strange unexpected + innocence she had so suddenly revealed to him, she had leapt into + it, made it her own. He sat down on the mean, dingy bed, and drew + her warm, supple body into his arms: she stood within their circle + submissively, quivering with pleasure. His touch was very gentle + and reverent, for he was a man who knew the value of essentials; + his brain was keen enough to go down to them and judge of them, + undeterred and unhindered and undeceived by externals, by + fictitious emblems. He saw here that he was in the presence of a + tender, youthful, unformed mind of complete innocence, and the + abhorrent surroundings affected that essential not at all. +</p> +<p> + A married woman in his own rank, with her dozen lovers and her + knowledge of evil, high in the favour of the world, could never + have had from him the same reverence that he gave to this + dancing-girl of the Deccan, who in the world's eyes was but a + creature put under his feet for him to trample on. +</p> +<p> + "Would you like to leave all these people and come to live only + with me? dance only for me?" he said softly, looking into those + great wondering eyes fixed in awe upon his face. +</p> +<p> + "Would you like to have a house to yourself, and a garden full of + flowers, and stay there with me alone?" +</p> +<p> + The girl clasped her hands joyously, smile after smile rippled + over the brilliant face. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, Sahib, it would be paradise! If I can stay with the Sahib, I + shall be happy anywhere. I am the slave of the Sahib. If he but use + me as the mat before his door to walk upon, I shall be content." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton shivered. He drew her a little closer. "Hush! I do not + like to hear you say those things. You shall come to me and sleep + in my arms, but not to-night. Love is a very great thing: it will + be a great thing with us, and it must not be thought of lightly, do + you see? Will you stay here and think of me only till I come again? + Think of your bridal night with me, dream of me till I come back + for you?" +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib's will is my law; but even if I wished, I could think of + nothing else but him till I see him again," she responded, her eyes + fixed upon his face. Hamilton gazed upon her. She made such a + lovely picture standing there: he thought he had never seen beauty + so perfect, so exquisitely fresh. The soft transparent tunic did + not conceal it, only lightly veiled its bloom. Her breasts, rounded + and firm, stood out as a statue's. They seemed to express the + vigour of her buoyant youth: they had never known artificial + support, and needed none. The waist was naturally slight, the hips + also, the straight supple limbs and round arms were the most + richly-modelled parts, perhaps, of the whole perfect form. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton slipped his arm down to her yielding waist and drew her + closer. Then he bent his head and kissed the wonderfully-carved and + glowing mouth. With a little cry of joy the girl threw both arms + about his neck and kissed him back with a wealth of fervour in her + lips, pressing her soft bosom against his in all the natural, + unrestrained ardour of a first and new-found love. +</p> +<p> + "Sahib, Sahib! do not leave me long. Come and take me away soon! I + am all yours! No other shall see me till you come again." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton was satisfied. He raised his head, his whole ardent nature + aflame. +</p> +<p> + "Dear little girl, let us go then to the old woman, and perhaps I + can pay her enough to make her take you away from here, and keep + you safe till I can come for you." +</p> +<p> + "Come, Sahib, come!" she answered, joyfully drawing out of his + arms and running across the room; she unbolted the door and pulled + it open, nearly causing the old woman who was crouched just + outside, and apparently leaning against it, to roll into the room. +</p> +<p> + "Saidie, Saidie! you have no respect for me," she grumbled, getting + on her feet with some difficulty. Hamilton came up, and helped to + balance her as she stood. +</p> +<p> + "Your Saidie pleases me very much," he said, drawing out a + pocket-book. "I want to take her away from here altogether. How + much do you ask for her?" +</p> +<p> + The old woman's beady-black eyes twinkled and gleamed, and fixed on + the pocket-book. +</p> +<p> + "It is not possible, Sahib," she said in a grumbling tone, "for me + to part with her and her services. A girl like that with her + beauty, her dancing, her singing! She will earn gold every night. + Let the Sahib come here each evening if he will and take his turn + with the rest. For a girl like that to go to one man alone is waste + and folly." +</p> +<p> + The colour mounted to Hamilton's face. His brows contracted. +</p> +<p> + "What I have to say is this," he answered sternly and briefly, "I + want this girl, and if you take her with you to some place of + safety for to-night, I will come to-morrow or the next day and give + you 2000 rupees for her—no more and no less. I have spoken." +</p> +<p> + "Two thousand rupees!" replied shrilly the old woman, "for Saidie, + the star of the dancers, and not yet fifteen! No, Sahib, no! a + Parsee will give more than that for a half hour with her." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton caught the old creature by her skinny arm: +</p> +<p> + "You waste your words talking to me," he said. "I am a police + magistrate, and I can have your whole place here closed, and all of + you put in prison, if I choose. The girl is willing to come with + me, and I will take her and pay you well for her. You have her + ready for me to-morrow night, or you go to prison—which you + please." The old woman shivered at the word magistrate, and fell + trembling on her knees. +</p> +<p> + "Let the Sahib have mercy! That great black brute will kill me if + the police come here. I take Saidie to my house, the Sahib comes + there when he will. He pays, he has her. It is all finished." +</p> +<p> + She spread out her thin black hands in a shaking gesture of + finality, and then fell forward and kissed Hamilton's boots after + the complimentary but embarrassing manner of natives. Hamilton drew + back a little. He was angered that Saidie should be witness, + auditor of all this. She stood silent, passive, gazing at the hot, + angry colour mounting to his face. He bent forward and dragged the + old woman up by her arms. +</p> +<p> + "Take this for yourself now," he said, putting a hundred-rupee note + into her hand, "and make no more difficulty. Take every care of + Saidie, and you will have your two thousand rupees very shortly." +</p> +<p> + The old woman seized the note, and began to mumble blessings on + Hamilton, which he cut short: "Give me the name of your street and + the house where you live, that I may find you easily," he said, and + noted down the directions she gave him. Then he turned to the girl + and put his arm round her neck. +</p> +<p> + "Dear Saidie! I trust to you. Remember it is your innocence, your + virtue, I love more than your beauty. Do not dance nor let anyone + see you till I come again." +</p> +<p> + He kissed her on the lips as she promised him. The soft, warm form + thrilled against him as their lips met. Then with a mental wrench + he turned and went out of the room and quickly down the dark + passage. +</p> +<p> + At the end his way was barred by the immense form of the negro. +</p> +<p> + "Something for me, master; do not forget me! I keep the pretty + things here for the gentlemen to see." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton drew back with loathing. Then he reflected—it was better, + perhaps, to keep all smooth. +</p> +<p> + He dived into his pockets and found a roll of small notes, which he + pushed into the negro's hand. The man bowed and let him pass, and + Hamilton went on out into the street. +</p> +<p> + It was evening now. The calm, lovely golden light of an Indian + evening fell all around him as he walked rapidly back to his + bungalow. As he entered it, how different he felt from the man who + had left it that morning! How light his footstep, how bright and + keen the tone of his voice! It quite surprised himself as he called + out to his butler that he was ready for dinner. Then he bounded up + to his room humming. His very muscles were of quite a different + texture seemingly now from an hour or two ago! How the blood flew + about joyously in his body! Dear Venus! she makes us pay generally, + but who can cavil at the glorious gifts she gives? As soon as his + dinner was disposed of, and all his other servants had retired from + the room, Hamilton called his butler, Pir Bakhs, to him, and held a + long conference with that intelligent and trustworthy individual. + Hamilton was one of those men that by reason of his strikingly good + looks, his charm of manner, his consideration for others, and his + complete control over himself that never allowed him to be betrayed + into an unjust word or action was greatly liked by every one, and + simply worshipped by his servants and all those in any way in a + position dependent on him. +</p> +<p> + When to-night Pir Bakhs was honoured by his confidence, the + servant's whole will and all his keen energies rose with delight + to serve his master. After he had listened in silence to + Hamilton's wishes, he proceeded to make himself master of the whole + scheme, detail by detail. +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib wishes a very beautiful bungalow far out, away from the + city? I know of one house across the desert; my cousin was butler + there. The Sahib went away to England, and the bungalow is to be + let furnished. Have I the Sahib's permission to go down to bazaar, + see my cousin to-night? I make all arrangements. I go to-morrow + morning; I get cook and all other servants. I stay there and make + all ready for the Sahib to-morrow evening." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton smiled at the man's eagerness to serve him. He knew well + that secretly in his heart his Mahommedan butler had always + deplored the severely monastic style in which he had lived, the + absence of women in his master's bungalow, the emptiness of his + arms that should have had to bear his master's children, and that + he now was ready to welcome heartily his master's reformation. +</p> +<p> + "Could you really do all that, Pir Bakhs?" he asked; "and can you + assure me that the house is a good one, and has the compound been + well kept up?" +</p> +<p> + "The house is about the same as this, but not quite so large. It is + in the oasis of Deira, across the desert. The Sahib knows how well + the palms grow there. My cousin tells me the compound is very + large; the Sahib there kept four malis;<a name="1"></a><a href="#note-1"><small>[1]</small></a> very fine garden, many + English roses there." +</p> +<p> + "English roses I do not care for, Pir Bakhs," returned Hamilton + with a melancholy smile. "The roses of the East are far fairer to + me." +</p> +<p> + The butler bowed with his hand to his forehead. He took his + master's speech as a gracious compliment to his country. +</p> +<p> + "Everything grow there," he answered, spreading out his hands: + "pomegranates, bamboo, mangoes, bananas, sago palm, cocoanut palm, + magnolia—everything. I go to-morrow, I engage malis; I have all + ready for the Sahib." +</p> +<p> + "Very well, I trust you with it all. I shall keep on this house + just as it is, and leave most of the servants here. You and your + wives must come out with me, and you engage any other necessary + servants and hire any extra furniture you want." +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib is very good to his servant," returned the butler, his + face lighting up joyfully. "When will the Sahib shed the light of + his countenance on the bungalow?" +</p> +<p> + "I will try to run out to see it, to-morrow, after office hours," + replied Hamilton, "if you will have all ready by then. I shall look + over it, and return to dine here as usual. Then about ten or later, + I will come over and bring your new mistress out with me. You must + have a good supper waiting for us. Take over all the linen and + plate you may want, but see that enough is left in this house so + that I can entertain the English Sahibs here if I want to, and let + my riding camel be well fed early. I shall use him for coming and + going. That's all, I think." +</p> +<p> + The butler bowed, and retired radiant with joyous importance, and + Hamilton sat on alone by the table thinking. The blood ran at high + tide along his veins, his eyes glowed, looking into space. Life, he + thought, what a joyous thing it was when it stretched out its hands + full of gifts! +</p> +<br> +<a name="note-1"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<a href="#1"><u>1</u></a>. Gardeners. +</p> + +<a name="2HCH0002"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h3> + CHAPTER II +</h3> +<p> + The following afternoon, directly his work at the office was + finished, he went out to the oasis in the desert to look at his new + possession, his bungalow in the palms. +</p> +<p> + The moment he saw it peeping out from amongst them, and surrounded + by roses, he expressed himself satisfied, and named the place + Saied-i-stan, or the place of happiness. +</p> +<p> + The butler met him there; he was bursting with self-importance. +</p> +<p> + "You leave everything to me, Sahib—everything. I know all the + Sahib wants. He shall have all. Let him come, ten o'clock, nine + o'clock, no matter when; all quite ready. I am here. I have + everything waiting for the Sahib." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton smiled and praised him, and went back to the station; took + a pretence of dinner and a hurried cup of coffee, and then went + down into the bazaar with the precious bit of paper containing the + directions to Saidie's dwelling-place in his breast pocket. +</p> +<p> + He found the house at last, and, going in at the doorless + entrance, climbed patiently the wooden stairs that ran straight up + from it in complete darkness. On the topmost landing—a frail + wooden structure that creaked beneath his feet—he paused, and + rapped twice on the door opposite him. +</p> +<p> + His heart beat rapidly as he stood there; the blood seemed flying + through it. All the strength of his vigorous body seemed gathering + itself together within him, all the fire of his keen, hungry brain + leapt up, and waiting there in the dark on the narrow landing he + knew the joy of life. +</p> +<p> + The door was opened. In a moment his eye swept round the interior + of the high windowless room. The floor was bare, with mats here and + there, and in the centre stood a flat pan of charcoal, glowing + under a closed and steaming cooking-pot. At one end a coarse chick, + suspended from a wooden bar, dropped its long lines to the floor, + and behind this, on some cushions, sat Saidie with another of the + dancing-girls. +</p> +<p> + The old woman who had opened the door, salaamed, touching the floor + with her forehead as Hamilton walked in, and then securely shut and + fastened the door behind him. Saidie rose and looked through the + shimmering lines of the chick at him as he entered. +</p> +<p> + Very handsome the tall commanding figure looked in the mean, bare + room: the long neck and well-modelled head, with its black, + close-cut hair, stood out a noble relief against the colourless + wall, and the clear brown skin, with the warm tint of quick blood + in it that showed above the English collar, arrested the girl's + eyes with a keen thrill of joy. Looking at him, she felt rushing + through her the passionate delight that self-surrender to such a + man would be. Without waiting to be summoned, she parted the lines + of the chick, came out from them, and fell on her knees at his + feet. +</p> +<p> + The heat in the shut-up room was very great, and she was wearing + only a straight white muslin tunic, through which all the soft + beauty of her form could be seen, as an English face is seen + through a veil. Her hair was looped back from her brows and tied + simply with a piece of green ribbon, as an English girl's might + have been, and flowed in its thick, black glossy waves to her + waist. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton bent over her and raised her in his arms, feeling in that + moment, though the whole universe were reeling and rocking round + him to its ruin, he would care nothing while he pressed that soft + breast to his. +</p> +<p> + The old woman sat down cross-legged by the charcoal, and began to + fan it. +</p> +<p> + The other girl behind the chick looked out curiously, but her eyes + never noted the strength and beauty of Hamilton's figure, nor the + bright glow in the oval cheek: she looked to see if he wore rings + on his fingers, and tried to catch sight of the links in his cuffs + to see if they were silver or gold. +</p> +<p> + Saidie had the divine gift of passion: all the fire of the gods in + her veins. Zenobie had none, and Saidie's joy now was something she + could not understand. +</p> +<p> + "Have you come to take me away, now at once?" Saidie murmured in a + soft, passionate whisper close to his ear, and the accent of joy + and delight went quivering down through the deepest recesses of the + man's being. +</p> +<p> + "Yes: are you ready to come with me?" Needless question! put only + for the supreme pleasure of listening to its answer. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, more than ready," whispered the soft voice back. "How shall + the slave explain her longing to her lord?" +</p> +<p> + Zenobie had come round the chick, while they stood by the door, and + drawn forward the one little low wooden stool that they possessed. + She came up now, and pulled at Saidie's sleeve. +</p> +<p> + "Let the Sahib be seated," she said reprovingly, and Saidie let her + arms slip from his neck and drew him forward to the stool by the + charcoal pan. +</p> +<p> + With some difficulty Hamilton drew up his long legs and seated + himself cautiously on the small seat; Saidie and Zenobie sat + cross-legged on the ground close to his feet. The old woman ceased + to fan the fire; the bright red glow of the coals fell softly on + the strong, noble beauty of the man's face, and Saidie, looking up + to it, sat speechless, her bosom heaving, her lips parted, her dark + eyes full of mysterious fires, melting, swimming, behind their veil + of lashes. +</p> +<p> + Zenobie watched her with curiosity: what did she feel for this + infidel who wore no rings and only silver in his cuffs? +</p> +<p> + Hamilton, as soon as he was seated, drew out his pocket-book—old + and worn, for he spent little on himself—and opened it. +</p> +<p> + The old woman sat up. Zenobie's eyes gleamed: the business was + going to commence. Only Saidie did not stir nor move her eyes from + his face. +</p> +<p> + "Two thousand rupees was the price agreed upon; here it is," he + said, taking out a thick bundle of notes that occupied the whole + inside of the poor, limp pocket-book; and as the old woman + stretched out a skinny claw for them and began to slowly count + them, he turned his gaze away, on to the upturned face of the girl + watching him with sensual adoration. +</p> +<p> + The old woman counted through the notes, and then securely tied + them into the end of her chudda. +</p> +<p> + "The sum is the due sum, well counted," she said, looking up; "and + when will my lord take his slave?" +</p> +<p> + "To-night," Hamilton replied briefly, but not without a swift + enquiring glance into the girl's eyes. Though he had bought and + paid for her, he could not get out of the Western knack of + considering that the girl's desires had to be consulted. +</p> +<p> + The old woman raised her hands in affected horror. +</p> +<p> + "To-night! But she is not well clothed, she is not bathed and + anointed; the bridal robes are not prepared. My lord, it cannot + be!" +</p> +<p> + Hamilton looked at Saidie; she crept to his side and put her head + on his breast. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, to-night, take me to-night," she murmured eagerly; he smiled, + and put his arm around her. +</p> +<p> + "The bridal clothes are of no consequence," he answered decisively. + "My camel waits below. I will take her to-night." +</p> +<p> + "She has no shoes," objected the old woman. "She cannot descend the + stairs." +</p> +<p> + "I will carry her down," replied Hamilton, and, springing up from + the little stool, he stooped over the lovely form at his feet, + raising her into his arms, close to his breast. Saidie clung to his + neck with a little cry of pleasure, her bare, warm-tinted feet hung + over his arm. +</p> +<p> + The old woman gasped: Zenobie laughed. The Englishman looked so + big, so immensely strong. The weight of Saidie, tall and + well-developed as she was, seemed as nothing to him. +</p> +<p> + "Zenobie, will you hold the lamp at the doorway, that he may see + his way?" Saidie cried out, slipping off a thin gold circlet she + wore on her arm, and letting it drop into the other's hands. +</p> +<p> + "Farewell, Zenobie; may you be always as happy as I am now." +</p> +<p> + Zenobie caught the bracelet and ran to the wall, unhooked the lamp + that hung there, and came to the door. +</p> +<p> + "Farewell, my mother," Saidie said, as they turned to it. +</p> +<p> + "Farewell, my daughter; be submissive to the Sahib, and obey him in + all things." +</p> +<p> + The door was opened, and by the dim, uncertain light of Zenobie's + lamp, Hamilton, clasping his warm, living burden, went slowly and + heavily down the bending stairs, feeling the life brimming in every + vein. +</p> +<p> + Outside, in the tranquil splendour of the starry Eastern night, + knelt the camel, peacefully awaiting its lord, and as Hamilton + approached it with his burden, it turned its head and large, liquid + eyes upon him with a gurgle of pleasure. +</p> +<p> + "The camel loves Hamilton Sahib," murmured the girl, as he set her + on the soft red cloth laid over the animal's back, which formed the + only saddle. He took his own place in front of her. +</p> +<p> + "Hold to my belt firmly," he told her, gathering into his hand the + light rein. "Are you ready for him to rise?" +</p> +<p> + He felt her little, soft hands glide in between his belt and waist. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I am quite ready," she answered, and at a word of + encouragement, the great beast rose with its slow, stately swing to + its feet, and Hamilton guided it towards the Meidan. The soft, hot + air stirred against their faces as they moved through the night. +</p> +<p> + Nothing could present a more lovely picture than the bungalow that + evening. A low, white house, looking in the moonlight as if built + of marble, surrounded by masses of palms which threw a delicate + tracery of shadow upon it and drooped their beautiful, fan-like, + feathery branches over it, between it and the jewelled sky. +</p> +<p> + A light verandah ran around the lower of the two stories, + completely covered by the white, star-like bloom of the jessamine + that poured forth floods of fragrance like incense on the hot, + still air, and a giant pink magnolia rioted over the wide porch of + lattice-work. Within it was brightly lighted, and a warm glow from + shaded lamps came out from each window, stealing softly through the + veil of scented jessamine and falling on the masses of pink roses + surrounding the house. +</p> +<p> + The deep peace, the sweet scent in the silence, the kiss of the + moonlight and the starlight on the sleeping flowers, the exquisite + form of the shadows on the white wall, filled Hamilton with + pleasure: each sense seemed subtly ministered to; he felt as if + invisible spirits round him were feeding him with ambrosia. +</p> +<p> + He turned round to Saidie as the camel slowly and majestically + entered the compound gate, and saw her clearly framed in the soft + silver light; all this wondrous beauty round them seemed to be to + her beauty but as the harmonies that in an opera float round the + central air. And she smiled as he turned upon her. +</p> +<p> + "How do you like your new house, Saidie?" he said, half laughing as + he leant back to her. +</p> +<p> + "Surely it is Paradise, Sahib," she murmured back in awestruck + tones. +</p> +<p> + Within the door waited the servants to welcome them in a double + line, and as Saidie entered, they fell flat with their faces on the + floor. She passed through the prostrate row saluting them, and on + to the foot of the stairs. The ayah that the butler had engaged + rose and followed her mistress upstairs, where she was ushered into + her bath and dressing-room; while the butler, swelling with + importance and joyous pride, led Hamilton to the large room he had + prepared as a bedroom on the first floor. As they went in Hamilton + gave a murmur of approval very dear to the man's heart, as he heard + it, standing respectfully by the door. +</p> +<p> + The room was large, and two windows, draped with curtains, stood + open to the soft night. +</p> +<p> + The bed in the centre of the room was one of the wide Indian + charpais which are unrivalled for comfort, and glimmered softly + white beneath its filmy mosquito curtains in the lamplight shed by + four handsome rose-shaded lamps. Small tables stood everywhere, + bearing vases of fresh flowers, roses, and stephanotis; a rich, + deep rose-coloured carpet spread all over the floor, with only a + small border of chetai visible round the walls; and two easy-chairs + of the same colour and numerous smaller ones piled up with cushions + completed the equipment of the room. The air was full of scent, and + the scheme of colour in the room perfect. Nothing but rose and + white was allowed to meet the eye. The flowers were selected with + this view, and the great bowls of roses all blushed the same + glorious tint through the snowy whiteness of the stephanotis. +</p> +<p> + The room suggested, in its softly-lighted glow of pink and white, a + bridal chamber. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton turned to his servant with a pleased smile on his + handsome, animated face. +</p> +<p> + "You are an artist, Pir Bakhs, and a sort of magician, to do all + this in twelve hours." +</p> +<p> + Pir Bakhs bowed and salaamed by the door, his well-formed polished + face wreathed in many smiles. +</p> +<p> + Downstairs the girl was already waiting for her lord, bathed, and + with her long hair shaken out and brushed after the dust of the + desert ride, and looped back from her forehead by a fresh green + ribbon. She did not sit down, but stood waiting. +</p> +<p> + This room showed the same care as the upper one, and the table was + laid out with Hamilton's plate and glass and four beautiful + epergnes held the flowers. +</p> +<p> + Natives are artists, particularly in colour arrangements; the whole + colour scheme here was white and green, and any table in Belgravia + would have had hard work to equal this one. Saidie stood looking at + it, and the servants, already ranged by the sideboard, stood with + their eyes on the ground, yet conscious of her wonderful beauty, + and pleased by it in the same way that they would have felt pride + and pleasure in the beauty and good condition of a new horse or + camel acquired by their master. +</p> +<p> + After a few minutes Hamilton came down. He had put on his evening + clothes as they had been laid out for him by the bearer, and + looked radiant as he entered. +</p> +<p> + Saidie gave a little cry as she saw him. His present dress, well + cut and close-fitting, showed his splendid figure to greater + advantage than the loose suit she had seen him in hitherto. His + long neck carried his fine, spirited head erect, and the masses of + thick, black hair, with just the least wave in it, shone in the + lamplight. His well-cut face, with its gay animation and charming, + debonair, unaffected expression, made a kingly and perfect picture + to the girl's dazzled eyes. +</p> +<p> + As they took their places and their soup was served, she could not + detach her gaze from his face. +</p> +<p> + He laughed as he looked at her. +</p> +<p> + "Come, you must be hungry. Take your soup while it's hot; don't + waste your time looking at me." +</p> +<p> + "Sahib, I cannot help looking at you. You are so wonderful to me! + Please give me leave to. I do not want any soup." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton, who by this time had finished his own, leant back in his + chair and laughed again, looking at her with eyes blazing with + mirth and passion. This innocent, genuine admiration was very + pleasing to him in its flattery; this worship offered to himself, + rather than his gifts, was something new to him, and the girl's + beauty sent all the fires of life in quick streams through his + frame as he looked on it. He was alive for the first time in his + existence, and filled with a surprised happiness as great as the + girl's. He was as virgin to joy as she was to love. "You are the + dearest little girl I ever knew," he said; "but if you won't take + soup, you must eat fish. Yes, I positively refuse you my permission + to look at me till you have finished that whole plate." +</p> +<p> + Saidie dropped her eyes to her fish very submissively at this, + while Hamilton himself filled her glass. +</p> +<p> + "Have you ever tasted wine?" he asked. "This is champagne; drink + it, and tell me what you think of it." +</p> +<p> + "All my people are Mahommedans; we do not drink wine," Saidie + replied, taking up the glass and sipping from it. +</p> +<p> + "Perhaps you won't like it," he suggested, watching her. +</p> +<p> + "If the Sahib gives it to me I shall like it," replied Saidie, + smiling at him over the delicate golden glass: it threw its light + upwards into her great gleaming eyes, and Hamilton kissed the + little hand that put the glass gently down on the table again. +</p> +<p> + Next after the fish came game and joints, course after course, more + food in that one meal than Saidie was accustomed to see for many + people for a week. Her own appetite was soon satisfied, and she sat + for the most part gazing at Hamilton, with her hands tightly locked + together in her lap: such a nervous delight filled her, such a + strange joy in knowing herself to be alive, to be possessed of a + beautiful body that by reason of its beauty was worthy the caresses + of a man like this; such a pure rapture animated every fibre, to + realise that it was in her power to give pleasure to him. With such + feelings as these no faintest hint of humiliation or degradation + could mingle. Saidie felt only that superb and joyous pride that + Nature originally intended the female to have in her surrender to + the male. +</p> +<p> + Her very breath seemed to flutter softly with joyous trepidation + and excitement as it passed over her lips. That she was to be his, + held in his arms, admitted to his embrace, seemed to her to be the + crown of her life, an honour given by special divine favour. +</p> +<p> + So must Rhea Sylvia have felt praying before her Vestal altar when + Mars first appeared to her startled eyes. +</p> +<p> + And Hamilton, with his keen, sensitive temperament, saw into her + mind clearly, and was fully aware of all this fervent adoration, + this intense passionate worship springing within her; and an + immense tenderness and reverence grew up within him, enclosing all + his passion as the crystal vessel encloses the crimson wine. +</p> +<p> + That she would not in her present state have shrunk or flinched + from a knife, if only his hand held it while it wounded her, he + knew quite well, and this wonderful voluntary self-sacrifice which + is the soul of all female passion appealed to him as a very holy + thing. +</p> +<p> + He knew that constantly this adoring love was poured out by women + for men, that almost every virgin heart beats with this same + worship as the first pain of love enters it, but ah! for how short + a time! How quickly the man tears open those eyes that would so + willingly be closed to his vileness! how soon come the infidelity, + the lies and the meanness, the trickery and the treachery! How + assiduously the man teaches the woman who loves him that there is + nothing in him worthy of adoration, not even admiration, not even + decent respect! How little confidence, how little credence she soon + gives to his word that was once so sacred to her! How in her heart, + though her lips say nothing, is that once rapturous worship changed + into a measureless contempt! +</p> +<p> + Men persistently teach women that they must not expect the best + from them, but the lowest. And the women cry in pain as they see + the white mantle of their love trampled upon and dragged in the + mire of lies and falseness, and they take it back from the base + hands and burn it in the fires kindled in their outraged hearts. + Something of this flashed through Hamilton's brain as he met the + adoring trust and love in the girl's eyes, and an unspoken vow + formed itself within him that he would not deceive and betray it, + that his lips should not lie to her, that to the end he would be to + her as she now saw him in the glamour of those first hours. +</p> +<p> + When he had tempted her to every sweet and bon-bon on the table, + and made her drink all the wine he thought good for her, he sent + the servants away, and they remained alone together in the + dining-room with their coffee before them. He put his arm round + her, and drawing her out of her own chair, took her on to his knees + and pressed her head down on his shoulder. +</p> +<p> + "Are you not tired with that long ride on the camel?" he asked. +</p> +<p> + "No, Sahib, I am not tired." +</p> +<p> + The soft weight of her body pressed upon him; her lids drooped over + her eyes as her head leaned against his neck. +</p> +<p> + "I think you are tired and very sleepy," he repeated, pinching the + glowing arm in its transparent muslin sleeve. +</p> +<p> + "If the Sahib says so, I must be," responded Saidie quite simply. +</p> +<p> + "Come, then, and sleep," he said in her ear, and they went + upstairs. +</p> +<p> + Saidie gave a little cry of delight as they entered together the + rose-filled room, and beyond its soft shaded lights she saw the + great flashing planets in the dark sky. +</p> +<p> + "This is a different and a better home for love than we had last + night," said Hamilton softly, as he closed the door. +</p> +<p> + A great peace reigned all round them. Within and without the + bungalow there was no sound. The lights burned steadily and + subdued, the sweet scent of the flowers hung in the air like a + silent benediction upon them. +</p> +<p> + He put his arm round her, and felt her tremble excessively as his + hand unfastened the clasp of her tunic. He stopped, surprised. +</p> +<p> + "Why do you tremble so? Are you afraid of me?" he asked, looking + down upon her, all the tenderness and strength of a great passion + in his eyes. +</p> +<p> + "No, no," she returned passionately, "I tremble because great waves + of happiness rush over me at your touch. I cannot tell you what I + feel, Sahib; the love and happiness within me is breaking me into + fragments." +</p> +<p> + "Then you must break in my arms," he murmured back softly, drawing + her into his embrace, "so that I shall not lose even one of them." +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + In the morning a flood of sunlight rushing into the room through + the open windows, bringing with it the gay chatter of birds, roused + the lovers. Hamilton opened his eyes first, and, lifting his head + from the pillow, looked down upon Saidie still asleep beside him. + In the rich mellow light of the room her loveliness glowed under + his eyes like a jewel held in the sun. He hardly drew his breath, + looking down upon her. Her heavy hair, full of deep purplish + shades, and with the wave in it not unusual in the Asiatic, was + pushed off the pale, pure bronze of the forehead, on which were + drawn so perfectly the long-sweeping Oriental brows. The nose, + delicately straight, with its proud high-arched nostrils, and the + tiny upper lip, led the eye on to the finely-carved Eastern mouth, + of which the lips now were softly, firmly folded in repose. How + exquisitely Nature had fashioned those lips, putting more elaborate + work in those lines and curves of that one feature than in the + whole of an ordinary English face. Hamilton hung over her, filled + with a passion of tenderness, watching the gentle breath move + softly the warm column of bronze throat and raise the soft, full + breast. +</p> +<p> + Passion, in its highest phase, is indeed the supreme gift of the + gods. In giving it to a mortal for once they forget their envy: for + once they raise him to their level; for that once they grant him + divinity. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton now marvelled at himself. The whole fruit of his forty + years of life—all that accomplished work, success, wealth, + rewarded worth, satisfied ambition, all the pleasures his youth, + his health and strength, and powers had always brought him, crushed + together—could not equal this: the charm and ecstasy with which he + gazed down on this warm beauty of the flesh beside him. +</p> +<p> + And yet he knew that it was not really in that flesh, not even in + that beauty, that lay the delight. It was in himself, in his own + intense desire, and the gratification of it, that the joy had + birth; and if the gods give not this desire, no matter what else + they give, it is useless. +</p> +<p> + The girl might have been as lovely, Hamilton himself, and all the + circumstances the same, yet waking thus he might have been but the + ordinary poor, cold, clay-like mortal a man usually is. But the + great desire for this beauty that had flamed up within him, now in + its possession, gave him that fervour and fire, those wings to his + soul, that seemed to make him divine. It was for him one of those + moments for which men live a life-time, as he indeed had done, but + they repay him when they come. To some, they come never. To these + life must indeed be dark. +</p> +<p> + Suddenly the girl opened her eyes; the fire in his bent upon her + seemed to electrify and thrill her into life, and with a little + murmur of delight she stretched up her rounded arms to him. +</p> +<p> + At breakfast Hamilton regretted he should have to leave her all + day; what would she do? +</p> +<p> + "You must not think of it, Sahib," she answered. "Have I not the + garden? I shall be quite happy. I shall sing all day long to the + flowers about my lord, and count the minutes till he comes back." +</p> +<p> + The office did not attract Hamilton at all that day, yet he felt it + was better to attend there as usual, to make no break in his usual + routine. +</p> +<p> + Scandal there was sure to be, sooner or later, about his + desert-bungalow, but at least it was better not to give to the + scandal-mongers the power to say he had neglected his duties. Yet + he lingered over his departure, and took her many times into his + arms to kiss her before he went, keeping his impatient Arab waiting + at the door. He would not use the camel again this morning, but + left it resting in its corner of the compound beneath the palms. +</p> +<p> + After Hamilton had gone, Saidie stepped through the long window + into the verandah, full of green light, completely shaded as it was + by the giant convolvulus that spread all over it. The chetai + crushed softly under her feet, and she went on slowly to the end + where it opened to the compound. Here she stood for a moment gazing + into the wilderness of beauty of mingled sun and shade before her. +</p> +<p> + Against the dazzling blue of the sky the branches of the palms + stood out in gleaming gold, throwing their light shade over the + masses of crimson and white and yellow roses that rioted together + beneath. Groves of the feathery bamboo drooped their delicate + stems in the fervent, sweet-scented heat, over the white, + thick-lipped lilies, from one to other of which passed languidly + on velvet wings great purple butterflies. +</p> +<p> + The pomegranate trees made a fine parade of their small, exquisite + scarlet flowers, and pushed them upwards into the sparkling + sunlight through the veils of white starry blossoms of the + jessamine that climbed over and trailed from every tree in the + compound. +</p> +<p> + The girl went forward dreaming. How completely, superbly happy she + was! And she had nothing but the gifts of Nature, such as she, the + kindly one, gives to the gay bird swinging on the bough, the + butterfly on the flower, the deer springing on the hills: health + and youth, beauty and love. +</p> +<p> + These only were hers; nothing that man ordinarily strives + for—neither wealth nor fame, fine houses, costly garments, jewels, + slaves, power; none of these were hers. Over her body hung simply a + muslin tunic worth a few annas; of the garden in which she stood + not a flower belonged to her, no weight of jewels lay on her happy + heart. She had no name; she was only a dancing-girl from the + Deccan. With the animals she shared that wonderful kingdom of joy + that they possess: their food and mate secured, their vigorous + health bounding in their limbs, their beauty radiant in their + perfect bodies. +</p> +<p> + Are they not the Lords of Creation in the sense that they are lords + of joy? Man is the slave of the earth, doomed by his own vile lusts + to bondage of the most dismal kind. All of those gifts that Nature + gives, and from which alone can be drawn happiness, he tramples + beneath his feet, putting his neck under the yoke of ceaseless + toil, striving for things which in the end bring neither peace nor + joy. +</p> +<p> + All within the compound under the reign of Nature rejoiced. The + parroquets swung on the trees, and the butterflies floated from the + marble whiteness of the lily's cloisters to the deep, warm recesses + of the rose, and the dancing-girl walked singing through the + sparkling, scented air thinking of her lord. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton, speeding down the dusty, burning road to his office in + the native city, felt a strange bounding of his heart as his + thoughts clung to the low, white bungalow amongst the palms + outside the station, and all that it held for him. +</p> +<p> + He went through his work that day with a wonderful energy, born of + the new life within him. Nothing fatigued, nothing worried him. The + court-house air did not oppress him. He heard the pleadings and + made his decisions with ease and promptitude. His patience, + gentleness, his clearness and force of brain were wonderful. The + whole electricity of his body was satisfied: the man was perfectly + well and perfectly happy. Who cannot work under such conditions? In + the evening his horse was brought round, and with a wild leaping of + the heart he swung himself into the saddle. The animal felt + instantly the elation of his master, and at once broke into a + canter; as this was not checked, he threw up his lovely head, and + as Hamilton turned across the plain, let himself go in a long + gallop towards where the palms glowed living gold against the + rose-hued sky. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton had hardly passed through the white chick into the + interior of the house before he heard the sound of bare feet upon + the matting, and through the soft magnolia-scented, pinky gloom of + the room, shaded from the sunset light, Saidie came and fell at his + knees, taking his dusty hands and kissing them. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton lifted her up, and held her a little from him, that he + might feast his eyes on the delicate beautiful carving of the lips, + and on the great velvet eyes, soft, round throat, and breasts + swelling so warmly lovely under the transparent gauze. +</p> +<p> + Then he crushed her up in his arms close to his breast, and carried + her to their own room with the golden and green chicks all round + it, where the servants did not come without a summons. The garland + she had twisted on her head smelt sweetly of roses, and the masses + of her silky hair of sandal-wood; her soft lips, that knew so well + instinctively the art of kissing, were on his; the warm, tender + arms clasped his neck. All the way that he carried her she murmured + little words of passion in his ear. +</p> +<p> + After dinner the servants carried chairs for them into the + verandah, with a small table laden with drinks and sweetmeats, that + they might sit and watch the moon rising behind the palms in the + compound, and see the hot silver light pour slowly through their + exquisite branches and foliage. +</p> +<p> + "How did you amuse yourself all day?" he asked her as she sat on + his knee, his arm round the flexible, supple waist pulsating under + the silky web of her tunic. +</p> +<p> + "I was so happy. I had so much to do, so much to think of," she + answered, gazing back into his eyes bent upon her, and eagerly + drawing in their fire. "I wandered in the compound and made garland + after garland, then I sang to my rabab and practised my dancing. In + the heat I went in and slept on my lord's bed dreaming of him—ah! + how I dreamt of him!" She broke off sighing, and those sighs fanned + the blazing fires in the man's veins. +</p> +<p> + "You were quite contented, then, with your day?" +</p> +<p> + "How could I not be contented when I had my lord to think about, + his love of last night, his love of the coming night?" +</p> +<p> + Hamilton sighed and smiled at the same time. +</p> +<p> + "English wives need more than that to make them content," he + answered. +</p> +<p> + "English wives," repeated Saidie, with her laugh like the sound of + a golden bell; "what do they know of love?" +</p> +<p> + "Not much certainly, I think," replied Hamilton. +</p> +<p> + For a moment the vision of a thin blonde face, with its expression + of sour discontent, rose before him. What had he not given that + woman—what had she not demanded? Extravagant clothes to deck out + her tall lean body, a carriage to drive her here and there, a + mansion to live in, all the money he could gain by constant + work—these things she demanded because she was his wife, and he + had given them, and yet she was always discontented, simply because + she was one of those women who do not know desire nor the delight + of it. This one had nothing but that divine gift, and it made all + her life joy. +</p> +<p> + "Dance for me now in the cool," murmured Hamilton in the little + fine curved ear with the rose-bud just over it. +</p> +<p> + Saidie slipped off his knee, and fastening the little gilt link at + her neck more securely, drew her soft filmy garment more closely to + her, and commenced to dance before him in the screened verandah, + with the hot moonlight, filtered through the delicate tracery; of + innumerable leaves falling on her smooth, warm-tinted body. +</p> +<p> + To please him, to please him, her lord, her owner, her king: it was + the one passion in her thoughts, and it flowed through every limb + and muscle, glowed in her eyes, quivered on her parted lips, and + made each movement a miracle of sweet sinuous grace. +</p> +<p> + The soft, hot night passed minute by minute, the scents of a + thousand flowers mingled together in the still violet air. Some + white night-moths came and fluttered round the exquisite form on + whose rounded contours the light played so softly, and Hamilton lay + back in his chair, silent, absorbed, hardly drawing his breath + through his lungs, shaken by the nervous beating of his heart. + Motionless he lay there, almost breathless, for the wine of life + was in all his veins, mounting to his head, intoxicating him. +</p> +<p> + "I am very tired; may I stop now?" came at last in a low murmur + from the curved lips so sweetly smiling at him, and the whole soft + body drooped like a flower with fatigue. Hamilton opened his arms + wide. She saw how the fresh colour glowed in the handsome cheek, + how his splendid neck swelled as the red deer's in November, how + the dark eyes blazed upon her. +</p> +<p> + "Come to me," he commanded, and she flew to his arms as the + love-bird flies upward to her mate in the pomegranate tree. +</p> +<a name="2HCH0003"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h3> + CHAPTER III +</h3> +<p> + For three months Hamilton and Saidie lived in the white bungalow in + the palms, and drank of the wine of life together, and were happy + in the overwhelming intoxication it gives. +</p> +<p> + For three months Saidie lived there, never going beyond the + precincts of the house and the palace of flowers that was the + compound. +</p> +<p> + Why should she leave them? What had she to gain by going out into + the dusty way? What had she to seek? Her garden of Eden, her + Paradise, was here. She was too wise to go beyond its limits. +</p> +<p> + Pedlars and merchants of all sorts brought their best and richest + wares to her, and Hamilton sat by her in the verandah, commanding + her to buy all that pleased her, though she protested she needed + nothing. +</p> +<p> + Jewels for her neck, and gold anklets and bracelets, and robes and + sweetmeats were laid out before her. Only the best of the bazaar + was brought, and of this again only the best was chosen. And when + Hamilton was not there she walked from room to room singing, + clothed in purple silken gauze, with his jewels blazing on her + breast, his kisses still burning on her lips. Then she would take + her rabab and play to the listening flowers, or practise her + dancing, the source of his pleasure, or lie in the noonday heat on + the edge of the bubbling spring that rose up in the moss under the + boughain-villia and look towards the East and dream of his + home-coming. What did she want more? +</p> +<p> + Hamilton now lived the enchanted life of one who is wholly absorbed + in a secret passion. He was wise—more wise than men generally + are—and made no effort to parade his treasure. This wonderful + exotic, this flower of happiness, that bloomed so vividly in the + dark, secluded recesses of his heart, how did he know that the + destructive heat and light of publicity might not fade and sear + its marvellous petals? He told no one of his life; took no one out + into the desert with him, to the bungalow among the palms. +</p> +<p> + He was away a great deal. His work and certain social duties + claimed a large part of his day, and during all that time he had to + leave her alone with her flowers, but this gave him no anxiety. It + was not a dangerous experiment, as it always is to leave a European + woman alone. He knew that Saidie, the Oriental, would spend the + whole time dreaming of him, longing for him, singing to the flowers + of him, talking to her women-attendants of him, filling the whole + garden and house with his image till the longed-for moment of his + return. +</p> +<p> + And to Hamilton, full of unspoiled life and vigour, this security, + this certainty of her complete fidelity was a wondrous charm. +</p> +<p> + Unlike a man of jaded passions, who requires his love to be + constantly stimulated by the fear of imminent loss, Hamilton, full + of unused strength, and thirsty after the joy of life, now that the + cup was offered him, drank of it naturally and with ecstasy, + needing no salt and bitter olives of jealousy between the + draughts. +</p> +<p> + For years he had longed for love and happiness: at last he had + found both, and with simple, uncavilling thankfulness he clasped + them to his breast and held them there, content. +</p> +<p> + Saturday and Sunday were their great days. Hamilton left the office + at two on Saturday afternoon, and was back at the bungalow by five. +</p> +<p> + They went to bed early that night, and rose on the Sunday morning + with the first glimmer of dawn. Everything would be prepared + overnight for a day's excursion and picnic in the desert, which + Saidie particularly delighted in. +</p> +<p> + The great brown camel, fat and sleek like all Hamilton's animals, + and with an enormous weight of rich hair on his supple neck, would + be kneeling waiting for them below in the dewy compound, while the + early tender light stole softly through the palms; and they would + mount and go swinging out through the great open spaces of the + desert, full of delicate white light, towards the sister-oasis of + Dirampir, where masses of cocoanut palms grew round a set of + springs, and waved their branches joyfully as they drew in the salt + nourishment of the air from the amethystine sea not fifty miles + distant. +</p> +<p> + Into the shelter of these palms they would come as the first great + golden wave of light from the climbing sun broke over the desert, + and, descending from the camel, walk about in the groves by the + spring, and select a place for boiling their kettle and having + their breakfast. The long ride in the keen air of the morning gave + them great appetites, and they enjoyed it in the whole joyous + beauty of the scene round them. The palm branches over them grew + gold against the laughing blue of the sky, a thousand shafts of + sunlight pierced through the fan-like tracery, the golden orioles + at play darted, chasing each other from bough to bough, the spring + bubbled its cool musical notes beside them, and the sense of the + blighting heat of the ravening desert round them seemed to + accentuate the beauty of the peace and shade in the oasis. +</p> +<p> + Saidie enjoyed these days beyond everything, and would sit singing + at the foot of a palm, weaving a garland of white clematis for + Hamilton's handsome head as it rested on her lap. +</p> +<p> + No English people ever came to the oasis; as a matter of fact, the + English generally do avoid the best and most beautiful spots in or + near an Indian station; but the place was greatly beloved by the + natives who came there to doze and dream, play, sing, and weave + garlands in the usual harmless manner in which a native takes his + pleasure. Looking at them standing or sitting in their harmonious + groups against a background of golden light and delicate shade, + Hamilton often thought how well this scene compared with that of + the Britisher taking a holiday—Hampstead Heath, for instance, with + its noisy drunkenness, its spirit of hateful spite, its ill-used + animals, its loathsome language. The Oriental endeavours to enjoy + himself, and his method is generally peaceful and poetic: the + singing of songs, the weaving of garlands, and the letting alone of + others. The Briton's idea of enjoying himself is extremely simple; + it consists solely in annoying his neighbours. +</p> +<p> + To see a handsome English Sahib here was to the habitual + frequenters of the oasis something rather remarkable, but these + people are early taught the custody of the eyes and to mind their + own business. Therefore Hamilton and Saidie were not troubled by + offensive stares, or in any other way. All there were free, + gathered to enjoy themselves, each man in his own way; and the + natives in their gay colours added to the beauty, without + disturbing the peace of the scene, much as the bright-plumaged + birds that flitted from tree to tree absorbed in their own affairs. +</p> +<p> + How Hamilton enjoyed those long, calm, golden hours—the golden + hours of Asia, so full of the enchantment of rich light and colour, + soft beauty before the eyes, sweet scent of the jessamine in the + nostrils, the warbling of birds, and Saidie's love songs in his + ears! +</p> +<p> + Not till the glorious rose of the sunset diffused itself softly in + the luminous sky, and all the desert round them grew pink, and the + shadows of the palms long in the oasis, and the great planets above + them burst blazing into view into the still rose-hued sky, did they + rise from the side of the spring and begin to think of their + homeward ride. And what a delight it was that night ride home + through the majestic silence of the desert, where their own hearts' + beating and the soft footfall of the camel were the only sounds! + the wild flash of planet and star, and sometimes the soft glimmer + of the rising moon, their only light! Eros, the god of passion, + seated with them on the camel, their only companion! +</p> +<p> + To Saidie, cradled in his arms, looking upwards to his face above + her, its beauty distinct in the soft light, feeling his heart + beating against her side, it seemed as if her happiness was too + great for the human frame to bear, as if it must dissolve, melt + into nothingness, against his breast, and her spirit pass into the + great desert solitudes, dispersed, almost annihilated, in the agony + and ecstasy of love. +</p> +<p> + Week after week passed lightly by in their brilliant setting, the + hours on their winged feet danced by, and these two lived + independent of all the world, wrapped up in their own intimate joy. +</p> +<p> + One morning, just as he was about to leave the bungalow, he heard + Saidie's voice calling him back. He turned and saw her smiling + face hanging over the stair-rail above him. He remounted the + stairs, and she drew him into their room. Her face was radiant, her + eyes blazed with light as she looked at him. +</p> +<p> + "I have something to tell you, Sahib! I could not let you go + without saying it. Only think! is not Allah good to me? I am to be + the mother of the Sahib's child," and she fell on her knees, + kissing his hands in a passion of joy. Hamilton stood for the + moment silent. He was startled, unprepared for her words, unused to + the wild joy with which the Oriental woman hails a coming life. +</p> +<p> + Her message carried a certain shock to him: it augured change; and + his happiness had been so perfect, so absolute, what would change, + any change, even if wrought by the divine Hand itself, mean to him + but loss? +</p> +<p> + Saidie, terrified at his silence, looked up at him wildly. +</p> +<p> + "What have I done? Is not my lord pleased?" Her accent was one of + the acutest fear. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton bent down and raised her to his breast. +</p> +<p> + "Dearest one, light of my soul, how could I not be pleased?" and + he kissed her many times on the lips, and on the soft upper arm + that pressed his throat, and on her neck, till even she was + satisfied. +</p> +<p> + "Come and sit with me for a moment that I may tell you all," she + said. Hamilton sat beside her on the bed, and she told him many + things that an Englishwoman would never say, nor would it enter + into her mind to conceive them. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton was greatly moved as he sat listening. The wonderful + imagery, the vivid language in which she clothed her pure joyous + thoughts appealed to his own poetic, artistic habit of mind. +</p> +<p> + On his way across the desert to the city, Hamilton pondered deeply + over the news and the girl's unaffected joy. Since all those + whispered confidences poured into his ear while they sat side by + side on the bed, the throb of jealousy he had first felt at her + words had passed away. Saidie had made it so clear to him that her + joy was not so great at being the mother of a child as that she was + to be the mother of <i>his</i> child, and similarly Hamilton felt in + all his being a curious thrill at the thought that his child was + hers, that this new life was created in and of her life that had + become so infinitely dear to him. +</p> +<p> + He was glad now that his wife had refused to have a child. The + bitter pain he had felt then, those years ago, how little he had + thought it was to be the parent of this present joy. Now the woman + he loved as he had loved no other would be the one to bear his + child. Still the thought of the suffering the mother would go + through depressed his sensitive mind, and the idea of the risk to + her life that came suddenly into his brain made him turn white to + the lips as he rode in the hot sunlight. Such intense happiness as + he had known for the last three months can turn a brave man into a + coward. For a moment he faced the horrid thought that had come to + him—Saidie dead! And the whole brilliant plain, laughing sky, and + dancing sunlight and waving palms became black to him. To go back + to that dreary existence of nothingness of his former life, after + once having known the delight that this bright, eager, ardent + love, these delicate little clinging hands had made for him, would + be impossible. +</p> +<p> + "No," he murmured to himself, "if she goes, then it's a snuff out + for me too. I have never cared for life except as she has made it + for me." +</p> +<p> + And the cloud rolled off him a little as he met the idea of his own + death. Besides, Saidie had declared so positively that she could + come to no harm, that it would all be pure delight, that pain and + suffering could not exist for her in such a matter since she would + be all joy in making him this gift, that gradually he grew calmer + as he thought over her words. +</p> +<p> + "But I didn't want any change," he burst out a little later, + talking to the still golden air round him. "Confound it! I was + perfectly happy. How impossible it is to keep anything as it is in + this world! All our actions drag in upon us their consequences so + fast! There is no getting away from this horrible change, no + enjoying one's happiness peacefully when one has obtained it." +</p> +<p> + When he arrived at his office in the city he found that a far + heavier cloud had arisen on his horizon than that created by + Saidie's words. The English mail was in, and a long thin envelope, + impressed with a much-hated handwriting, faced him on the top of + the pile of his correspondence as he entered. +</p> +<p> + He picked it up and opened it. +</p> +<p class="block"> + "D<small>EAR</small> F<small>RANK</small>,—You often used to invite me to come to India, + and I have really at last made up my mind to. I am coming out + by next month's boat to stay with you for a time. I have been + very much run down in health lately, and my doctor says a + sea-voyage and six months in India will be first-rate for me. + I hope you have a nice comfortable house and good servants.<br> + —Yours affectionately, J<small>ANE</small>." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton stared at the letter savagely as he put it down before him + on the table, a sort of grim smile breaking slowly over his face. + He felt convinced that in some way his wife had learned of his + new-found happiness, and that had given birth to her sudden desire + to visit India after twenty years of persistent refusal to do so. + He sat motionless for a long time, then stretched out his hand for + an English telegraph form and wrote on it— +</p> +<p class="block"> + "Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit. F<small>RANK</small>." +</p> +<p> + He did not for one moment think that his wife would obey his + injunction, or that his wire would have the least effect on her; + but he wished to have a good ground to stand on when she arrived, + and he declined to receive her. His teeth set for a moment as he + thought of the interview. +</p> +<p> + "This is a sort of wind-up day of my happiness," he muttered, as he + took his place at the office table. "Well, I suppose no one could + expect such pleasure as I have had these last three months to + continue; but, whatever happens, Saidie and I will stick together." + He sat musing for a moment, staring with unseeing eyes at the pile + of work in front of him. +</p> +<p> + "Saidie, my Saidie! I shall never part from her; therefore I can + never part from my happiness." He smiled a little at the play on + the words, and then commenced his day's labours. +</p> +<p> + That evening, when he returned, Saidie noticed at once the + depression in his usually gay, bright manner. When they were alone + at dinner she laid her hand on his. +</p> +<p> + "What has darkened the light of my lord's countenance?" she asked + softly. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton drew from his pocket his wife's letter, and laid it beside + her plate. +</p> +<p> + "Can you read that, Saidie? If so, you will know all about it." +</p> +<p> + The girl leaned one elbow on the table and bent over the letter, + studying it. She had been trying hard to improve herself in the + language, of which she knew already something, and with Oriental + quickness, had acquired much in the past three months. She made out + the sense now easily enough. +</p> +<p> + "This lady is a wife of yours?" she said quickly, with a swift + upward glance at him, when she had finished reading the letter. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton laughed a little. +</p> +<p> + "She was my wife till I saw you, Saidie. No one is my wife now, nor + ever will be, but you." +</p> +<p> + A soft glow of supreme pleasure and pride lighted up Saidie's great + lustrous eyes. She bent her head and put her soft lips to his + hand. +</p> +<p> + "Have you forbidden this wife to come to you?" she asked after a + minute. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I have; but she will come all the same. English wives think + it foolish to obey their husbands." +</p> +<p> + He laughed sardonically, and Saidie looked bewildered and + horrified. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + A month later, a long, lean woman sat in a deck chair on board an + Indian liner as it crossed the enchanted waters of the Indian + Ocean. Enchanted, for surely it is some magician's touch that makes + these waters such a rich and glorious blue! How they roll so + gently, full of majestic beauty, crested with sunlight, under the + ships they carry so lightly! How the gold light leaps over them, + how the azure sky above laughs down to their tranquil mirror! how + the gleaming flying-fish rise in their glinting cloud, whirl over + them, and then softly disappear into their mysterious embrace! +</p> +<p> + The long, lean woman saw none of the magic round her. Her dull, + boiled-looking eyes gazed through the soft sunlight without seeing + it. In her lap lay a thin foreign letter and a telegram, together + with a copy of "Anna Lombard" that she was reading with the + strongest disapproval. She picked up the letter and glanced through + it again, though she knew it nearly by heart, especially one + passage: +</p> +<p class="block"> + "Your husband is leading such a life here! He has built a + wonderful white marble palace in the desert for an Egyptian + dancing-girl. They say it's a sort of Antony and Cleopatra + over again, and she goes about loaded with jewels and golden + chains. I don't know if you are getting your allowance + regularly, but I should think your husband is pretty well + ruining himself. I never saw a man so changed. He used to be + so melancholy, but now he is as bright as possible, and looks + so well and handsome. I hear the woman is expecting a child, + and they are both as pleased as they can be. I hear all about + it, as our cook's cousin is sister to the ayah your husband + hired for the woman, and my ayah gets it all from our cook. I + really should, my dear, come out and look into the matter, as + after a time he will probably want to stop sending home his + pay." +</p> +<p> + The thin sheet fell into the woman's lap again, and she seemed to + ponder deeply. Then she read Hamilton telegram again— +</p> +<p> + "Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit," and a disagreeable + laugh broke from her thick, colourless lips. +</p> +<p> + "I will go out and see her first," she thought, smoothing down with + a large, bony hand the folds of her rather prim white cambric + dress. She was a very stupid woman, and not a passionate one; + therefore the agony of pain of a loving, jealous wife was quite + unknown to her. But she was malignant, as such people usually are. + She loved making other people uncomfortable in a general way, and + taking away from them anything she could that they valued. She also + felt a peculiar curiosity such as those who cannot feel passion + themselves have usually about the intense happiness it gives to + others. The picture of this other woman, who had found joy + apparently in the arms she herself years ago had thrust aside, + interested her profoundly. She told herself that this Egyptian + loved Hamilton's money, but some instinct within her held her back + from believing this. +</p> +<p> + The little bit about the child went deeply into her mind. It + rested there like an arrow-head, and her thoughts grew round it. + When the ship came into port a week or two later, Mrs. Hamilton + was one of the first passengers to land, and after careful + enquiries and well-bestowed tips she was expeditiously conveyed + by ticker-gharry<a name="2"></a><a href="#note-2"><small>[2]</small></a> and sedan chair across the desert to the + bungalow at Deira. She was considerably pleased on seeing that + the white marble palace resolved itself into an ordinary white + bungalow, but the garden, was unutterably lovely, and, as she saw + in a moment, represented something quite unusual in cost and + care. +</p> +<p> + It was just high noon when she arrived, and she thankfully escaped + from the suffocating heat and glare of the desert into the cool + shaded hall, and gave her card with a throb of spiteful elation to + the butler. +</p> +<p> + The Oriental servant read the name, and hurried with the card to + his mistress's room. On hearing of the arrival of the Mem-Sahib, + Saidie descended from the upper room, where she had been lying in + the noonday heat, and, pushing aside the great golden chick that + swung before the drawing-room entrance, went in. +</p> +<p> + Her dress was of the most exquisite Indian muslin that Hamilton + could obtain, heavily and wonderfully embroidered in gold, and + peacocks' eyes of vivid deep blue and green; her feet were bare, + for Hamilton, in his revolt from English ways, had kept up Oriental + traditions as far as possible in the clothing of his new mistress, + and weighty anklets of solid gold gleamed beneath the border of her + skirt. Round the perfect column of her neck, full and stately as + the red deer's, were twisted great strings of pearls, throwing + their pale irridescent greenish hue onto the velvet skin. Above the + splendour of her dress rose the regal and lovely face, its delicate + carving and the marvel of its dark, flashing, enquiring eyes + vividly striking in the clear mellow light of the room. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Hamilton, dressed in a plain, grey alpaca dress, rather hot + and dusty after her long drive, sat on one of the low divans + awaiting her. As Saidie entered, the glory of her youth and beauty + struck upon the seated woman like a heavy blow, under which she + started to her feet and stood for a second, involuntarily + shrinking. +</p> +<p> + "Salaam, be seated," murmured Saidie, indicating a fauteuil near + the one on which she sank herself. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Hamilton came forward, her hands closing and unclosing + spasmodically in their grey silk gloves, and sat down again, her + eyes riveted on the other's face. +</p> +<p> + "Do you know who I am?" she said at last in a stifled voice. +</p> +<p> + Saidie smiled faintly; one of those liquid, lingering smiles that + made Hamilton's heaven. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I know; you are Mem Sahib Hamilton, the first, the old + wife.". +</p> +<p> + Saidie, according to her own Eastern ideas, was in the position of + a superior receiving an unfortunate inferior. She was the latest + acquired—the darling, the reigning queen—confronted with the poor + cast-off, old, unattractive first wife; and being of a nature + equally noble as the type of her beauty, she felt it incumbent on + her, in such a situation, to treat the unfortunate with every + consideration, gentleness, and tenderness. +</p> +<p> + The British matron's views of the relative positions of first and + subsequent wives differs, however, from Saidie's, and Mrs. + Hamilton's face grew purple as she heard Saidie's answer, and some + faint comprehension of Saidie's view was borne in upon her. +</p> +<p> + "Where is my husband?" she demanded fiercely. +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib is in the city to-day," returned Saidie calmly. How + odious they were, these Englishwomen, with their short skirts and + big boots, and red, hot faces, with great black straw houses over + them, and their curt manners, and the impertinent way they spoke of + their lords! +</p> +<p> + "When will he be back?" pursued the other, sharply. +</p> +<p> + Saidie glanced towards the clock. +</p> +<p> + "In a few hours; perhaps more. He returns at sunset." +</p> +<p> + "And what do you do all day, shut up by yourself?" questioned her + visitor, with a sort of contemptuous surprise. +</p> +<p> + "I think of him," returned Saidie, quite simply, with a sort of + proud pleasure that made the Englishwoman stare incredulously. +</p> +<p> + "Silly little fool!" she ejaculated, with a harsh, disdainful + laugh. +</p> +<p> + "Does he give you all those things, and dress you up like that?" + she added, staring at the pearls on Saidie's neck. +</p> +<p> + "He has given me everything I have," she replied, seriously. +</p> +<p> + That Hamilton was wasting his substance on another went home far + more keenly to his lawful wife than that he was wasting his love on + the same. She got up, and went close to the girl, with a face of + fury. +</p> +<p> + "They are all mine! I should like to drag them off you! Do you + understand that an Englishman's money belongs to his wife, and <i>I</i> + am his wife? You! What are you? He belongs to me, and, whatever you + may think, I can take him from you. By our laws he must come back + to me." +</p> +<p> + Saidie rose and faced the angry woman unmoved. +</p> +<p> + "No law on earth can make a man stay with a woman he does not + love," she said calmly, "nor take him from one he does. You must + know little, or you would know that love is stronger than all law. + I give you leave to withdraw. Salaam." +</p> +<p> + And she herself moved slowly backwards towards the hanging chick, + passed through it, and was gone, leaving the Englishwoman alone in + the room. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + Three hours later Hamilton, sitting in his own private office, + surrounded with papers, started suddenly as he heard a well-known + and hated voice say, outside the door. +</p> +<p> + "Thanks, I'll go in myself." +</p> +<p> + The next minute the door had opened and his wife stood before him. + He sat in silence, regarding her. +</p> +<p> + "Well, Frank, I suppose you were expecting me? You saw the boat + came in, doubtless. You don't look particularly pleased to see me!" +</p> +<p> + There was only one chair in the room, and Hamilton remained seated. + His wife stood in front of him. +</p> +<p> + "I do not know of any reason why I should be pleased, do you?" he + said calmly, gazing at her with eyes full of concentrated + hostility. +</p> +<p> + "No, considering you've got that black woman up at your house, I + don't suppose you do want your wife back very badly; but I've come + to stay, my dear fellow, some time, so you've got to make the best + of it." +</p> +<p> + "You will not stay with me," returned Hamilton quietly. His face + was very white, his eyes had become black as they looked at her. + One hand played idly with a paper-knife on his table. +</p> +<p> + "And a nice scandal there'll be when I go to stay at the hotel + here, and it's known I'm your wife, and you are living out in the + desert with a woman from the bazaar!" +</p> +<p> + "The fear of scandal has long since ceased to regulate my life," + answered Hamilton calmly. "Be good enough to make your interview + short; I have a great deal of work to-day." +</p> +<p> + "You are a devil!" replied the woman, white, too, now with impotent + rage, "to desert your own wife for that filthy native woman. I—" +</p> +<p> + But Hamilton had sprung to his feet; his face was blazing; he + seized his wife's wrists in both hands. +</p> +<p> + "Be quiet," he said, in a low tone of such fury that she cowered + beneath it. "One word more and I shall <i>kill</i> you; do you + understand?" +</p> +<p> + Then he raised one hand and brought it down on his gong. Instantly + two stalwart, bronze giants, his chuprassis, entered the room and + stood by the door. +</p> +<p> + "Take this woman out, and keep her out," he said to them. "Never + let her in again. She annoys me." +</p> +<p> + The chuprassis put their hands to their foreheads, and then + impassively approached the Englishwoman. She looked at her husband + wildly as they took her arms. +</p> +<p> + "Frank! you will not surely—" she expostulated. "Your own wife!" + and she struggled to release her arms. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton waved his hand, and the natives forced her to the door. + For a moment she seemed inclined to scream and struggle. Then her + face changed. A look of intense malevolence came over it. She + walked between the men quietly to the door. As she passed through + it, she looked back. +</p> +<p> + "You and she shall regret this," she said. Then the door shut, and + Hamilton was alone. +</p> +<p> + He sat down, collapsed in his chair. Oh, how could he free himself + from this millstone at his neck? What relief could he gain + anywhere? To what power appeal? He could keep her out of his house, + out of his office, but not out of his life. She had come here with + the deliberate intention of wrecking that, and she would succeed + probably, for she would have the blind, hideous force of + conventional morality on her side. She would destroy his life—that + life till lately so valueless to him; that dreary stretch made + barren so many years by her hateful influence, but which, in spite + of it, at Saidie's touch, had now bloomed into a garden of flowers. + The thought of Saidie strengthened him. It was true that his wife + would probably succeed in breaking up his life here from the + conventional and social point of view, and he would be obliged most + likely to give up his appointment; but he had a small independent + income, and on that he and Saidie could still live together. They + would go to Ceylon or to Malabar. Perhaps also he could make money + otherwise than officially. Wherever he went his wife would probably + pursue him, intent on making his life a misery. Still, Fortune + might favour him; he and Saidie might in time reach some corner of + the world where their remorseless tracker would lose trace of them. + Perhaps to go to England at once and obtain a legal separation + would be the best plan, but then it was winter in England now, and + he could not with advantage take Saidie to England in winter, for + fear his exotic Eastern flower would fade in the northern winds. +</p> +<p> + His thoughts wandered from point to point, and the minutes passed + unheeded. His papers lay untouched, scattered on the floor. The + chuprassi brought in from time to time a note, laid it on the table + and withdrew. Hamilton noticed nothing; he sat still, thinking. +</p> +<p> + Meanwhile Mrs. Hamilton had been driven to the hotel, where she + engaged very modest quarters and ordered luncheon. While waiting + for this she went out into the balcony before her windows, and + looked with gloomy eyes into the sunny, laughing splendour of the + Eastern afternoon. At the side of the hotel was a luxuriant garden, + and the palms and sycamores growing there threw a light shade into + the sunny street just below her window; the sky overhead stretched + its eternal Eastern blue, and the pigeons wheeled joyfully in and + out the eaves in the clear sparkling air, or descended to the pools + in the garden to bathe, with incessant cooing. Up and down the + road passed the white bullocks with their laden carts, and the + gaily-dressed Turkish sweet-meat sellers went by crooning out songs + descriptive of their wares, pausing under the shade of the garden + to look up at the English Mem-Sahib in the balcony. She leant her + arms on the rail, and looked out on the gay scene with unseeing + eyes. "Beast!" she muttered at intervals, and her hard-lined face + crimsoned and paled by turns. +</p> +<p> + When her luncheon came in she returned to the room, took off her + hat and looked in the glass. The narrow, selfish, petty emotions of + twenty years were written all over her face in deep, hideous lines. + The mass of yellow hair, newly-dyed, looked glaringly youthful and + incongruous above it. +</p> +<p> + Burning with a sense of malevolent discontent and misery, she + turned from the glass and hurried through her luncheon, then + ordered it to be cleared away and writing materials to be brought + in, and set herself with grim feverishness to the concoction of a + long letter to the Commissioner. In it Hamilton's twenty years of + patient fidelity, through which time he had regularly transmitted + to her half his pay year by year were naturally not mentioned; her + own refusal to live with him, her incessant demands for more money, + her extravagance, her long, whining letters to him, her debts, her + own life in town were, of course, also suppressed. In the letter + she figured as the ardent, tender, anxious wife, arriving to find + her abandoned husband wasting his substance on a black mistress. + The visit to the cruel tyrant in his office was long dwelt on, and + the whole closed with a pathetic appeal to the Commissioner to use + his influence to restore her dearest boy to her arms. It was not a + bad letter from the artist's and the liar's standpoint, and she + read it through with a glow of satisfaction, sealed it up with a + baleful smile of triumph, and then sounded the gong. +</p> +<p> + "Take this at once to the Commissioner Sahib," she said, handing + the note to the servant, "and let me have some tea; also you can + order me a carriage. I shall want to drive afterwards." +</p> +<p> + When the tea came, she thoroughly enjoyed it after her virtuous + labours, and in the cool of the evening drove out to see the city. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + That evening at dinner, seated at their table, laden with flowers, + with the light from the heavy Burmese silver lamps falling on her + lovely glowing face, and round bangle-laden arms, Saidie told + Hamilton of the visit of the white Mem-Sahib. His face darkened and + his lips set. +</p> +<p> + "So she came here, did she? Did she frighten you? attempt to hurt + you?" +</p> +<p> + "Oh, no," returned Saidie; "not at all. Naturally she is very hurt, + very sorry; no wonder she longs after the Sahib, and wishes to be + taken back to his harem. I was very sorry for her. It is quite + natural she should be jealous, of course," and Saidie rested one + soft, silken skinned elbow on the table and leaned across the + flowers, and her half-filled wine-glass, looking with tender liquid + eyes earnestly at the face of her lord. +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib is so wonderful, so beautiful, so far above other men," + she murmured, gazing upon him. "It is no wonder she is unhappy." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton smiled a little, looking back at her. He had indeed a + singularly handsome face, with its straight, noble features and + warm colour, and as he smiled the breast of the Eastern girl + heaved; her heart seemed to rush out to him. +</p> +<p> + "Ah, Saidie! you do not understand English wives," he said gently, + with a curious melancholy in his voice. "Love and worship such as + you give me they think shameful and shocking. To love a man for + himself, for his face, for his body is degrading. They are so pure, + they love him only for his purse. They tell him to take his passion + to dancing-girls like you. They hate to bear him children. They + like to live in his house, be clothed at his expense, ride in his + carriage, but they care little to sleep in his arms." +</p> +<p> + Saidie regarded him steadfastly, with eyes ever growing wider as + she listened. +</p> +<p> + "I do not understand ..." she murmured at last, clasping both soft, + supple hands across her breast, as if trying to mould herself into + this new belief; "it is so hard to comprehend.... Surely it must + be right to love one's lord, to bear him sons, to please him, to + make him happy every hour, every minute of the day and night." +</p> +<p> + "Right?" returned Hamilton passionately, getting up from his seat + and coming over to her. "Of course it is right! love such as yours + is a divine gift to man, straight from the hands of God." He leaned + his burning hands heavily on the delicately-moulded shoulders, + looking down into her upturned face. How exquisite it was! its fine + straight nose, its marvellously-carved mouth and short upper lip, + its round, full chin, and midnight eyes beneath their great + arching, sweeping brows! +</p> +<p> + "That woman is a fiend, one of the unnatural creatures our wretched + European civilisation has made only to destroy the lives of men. + Don't let us speak of her! never let us think of her! She is + nothing to me. You are my world, my all. If she drives us away from + here, there are other parts of the world for us. Separate us she + never shall. Come! why should we waste our time even mentioning her + name. Come with me into our garden. Darling! darling!" +</p> +<p> + He stooped over her, and on her lips pressed those kisses so long + refused, uncared for by one woman, so priceless to this one, and + almost lifted Saidie from the chair. She laughed the sweet low + laughter of the Oriental woman, and went with him eagerly towards + the verandah, and out into the compound where the roses slept in + the warm silver light. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + For two days nothing happened. Hamilton went as usual to his office + for the day. At four he left, and, mounting his camel, went into + the desert to the oasis in the palms. +</p> +<p> + On the third day he received a summons from the Commissioner, and + went up to his house in the afternoon. His heart seethed with rage + within him, but except for an unusual pallor in the clear warm + skin, his face showed nothing as he entered the large, imposing + drawing-room. +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner was a short, pompous little man, rather + overshadowed by his grim raw-boned wife, and had under her strict + guidance and training developed a stern admiration for conventional + virtue, particularly in regard to conjugal relations. He rose and + bowed as Hamilton entered, but did not offer to shake hands. + Hamilton waited, erect, silent. +</p> +<p> + "Sit down, Mr. Hamilton." Hamilton sat down. "Er—I—ah—have + received what I may term a painful—yes, a very painful + communication, and er—I may say at once it refers to you and your + concerns in a most distressing manner—most distressing." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner coughed and waited. Hamilton remained silent. The + Commissioner fidgeted, crossed his knees, uncrossed them again, + then turned on him suddenly. The Indian climate is trying to the + temper; it means many pegs, and small control of the passions. +</p> +<p> + "Damn you, sir!" he broke out fiercely. "What the devil do you mean + by keeping a black woman in your house, and sending your wife to + the hotel here?" +</p> +<p> + He was purple and furious; in his hand he crushed Mrs. Hamilton's + beautiful composition. +</p> +<p> + "She tells me you called in natives to throw her out of your + office: it's disgraceful! Upon my word it is; it's scandalous! And + you sent her to the hotel! I never heard of such a thing!" +</p> +<p> + "Mrs. Hamilton came out uninvited, in defiance of my express + wishes, and on her arrival I told her she could not stay with me," + returned Hamilton quietly. "Whether she went to the hotel or not, I + don't know." +</p> +<p> + "But your wife, damn it all, your wife, has a right to stay with + you if she chooses; naturally she would come to you, and you can't + turn her out in this way." +</p> +<p> + "She has long ago forfeited all rights as my wife," replied + Hamilton calmly, in a low tone, with so much weight in it that the + Commissioner looked at him keenly. +</p> +<p> + "Why don't you get a divorce or a separation then?" he asked + abruptly. "Do the thing decently—not have her out like this, and + make a scandal all over the station." +</p> +<p> + "I know of no grounds for a divorce," returned Hamilton. "There are + many ways of breaking the marriage vows other than infidelity. I + married Mrs. Hamilton twenty years ago, and for those twenty years + she has practically refused to live with me. For twenty years I + have remitted half my income to her every year. During that time I + have many times asked her to join me here, sought a reconciliation + always to be refused. Recently I found another interest; the moment + my wife discovered this, she came out with the sole purpose of + annoying me. I have come to the conclusion that twenty years' + fidelity to a woman without reward is enough. I shall not alter my + life now to suit Mrs. Hamilton." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner was silent. He was quite sure Hamilton was + speaking the truth, and in reality, in the absence of Mrs. + Commissioner, he felt all his sympathies go with him. But his + wife's careful training and his official position put other words + than his mind dictated into his mouth. +</p> +<p> + "Well, well," he said at last, "we can't go into all that. You and + your wife must arrange your matters somehow between you. But there + can't be a scandal like this going on. You, a married man, living + with a native woman, and your wife out here at the hotel! Something + must be done to make things look all right—must be done," and he + knitted his brows, looking crossly at Hamilton from under them. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton shrugged his shoulders. +</p> +<p> + "You'd better give up this native woman," snapped the + Commissioner. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton smiled. His was such an expressive face, it told more + clearly the feelings than most impassive English faces, and there + was that in the smile that held the Commissioner's gaze; and the + two men sat staring at each other in silence. +</p> +<p> + After some moments the Commissioner spoke again but his tone was + different. +</p> +<p> + "Hamilton, you know we all have to make sacrifices to our official + position, to public opinion, to social usage. Ah! what a Moloch + that is that we've created, it devours our best. Yes ... a Moloch!" + he muttered half to himself, gazing on the floor. +</p> +<p> + "Still, it's there, and we all suffer equally in turn. I know what + it is myself. I have been through it all." He stopped, gazing + fixedly at the beautiful crimson roses in the pattern of his Wilton + carpet. What visions swept before him of gleaming eyes and sweeping + brows, ruthlessly blotted out by a large, raw-boned figure and face + of aggressive chastity. "I am sorry for you, but there it is; + whatever the rights of the case, you can't make a scandal like + this." +</p> +<p> + "I am ready to resign my post if necessary," returned Hamilton; "I + have enough to live on without my pay." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner started, and looked at him. +</p> +<p> + "Is she so handsome as that?" he asked in a low tone, leaning a + little forward. Mrs. Commissioner was not there, and he was + forgetting officialdom. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton hesitated a moment. Then he drew from his pocket a + photograph, taken by himself, of Saidie standing amongst her + flowers. +</p> +<p> + The beautiful Eastern face, the lovely, youthful, sinuous figure, + veiled in its slight, transparent drapery, taken by an artist and a + lover in the clear, actinic Indian light, made an exquisite work of + art. It lay in the hand of the Commissioner, and he gazed on it, + remembering his long-past youth. +</p> +<p> + After a long time Hamilton broke the silence. +</p> +<p> + "Now, you know," he said at last, "why I am ready to resign my post + rather than resign <i>that</i>; and it is not only her beauty that + charms me, it is her devotion, her love.... Do you know, white or + black, superior or inferior, these two women are not to be + mentioned in one breath. The one you see there is a woman, the + other is a fiend." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner tried to look shocked, but failed; the smooth card + still lay in his hand, the lovely image impressed on it smiled up + at him. +</p> +<p> + "I don't know but what you are right," he muttered savagely as he + handed it back to Hamilton. "These wives, damn 'em, seem to have no + other mission but to make a man uncomfortable." +</p> +<p> + He got up and began to pace the room. He seemed to have forgotten + Hamilton and the official <i>rôle</i> he himself had started to play. He + seemed absorbed in his own thoughts—perhaps memories. Hamilton sat + still, gazing at the card. +</p> +<p> + Half-an-hour later the interview came to an end. Hamilton went away + to his office with a light heart, and a smile on his lips. The + Commissioner had given him some of his own reminiscences, and + Hamilton had sympathised. The two men had drifted insensibly onto + common ground, and the Commissioner finally had promised to help + Hamilton as far as he could. Hamilton was pleased. That he had + merely been twisting a piece of straw, that would be bent into + quite another shape when Mrs. Commissioner took it in hand, did not + for the moment occur to him. That night Saidie danced for him in + the moonlight, and afterwards ran from him swiftly, playing at + hide-and-seek amongst the roses laughing, inviting his pursuit. In + and out behind the great clumps of boughain-villia gleamed the + lovely form, with hair unbound falling like a mantle to the waist. + Through the pomegranate bushes the laughing face looked out at him, + then swiftly vanished as he approached, and next a laugh and a + flash of warm skin drew him to the bed of lilies where he overtook + her, and they fell laughing on the mossy bank together. Wearied + with dancing and running and laughter, she sank into his arms + gladly, as Eve in the garden of Eden. +</p> +<p> + "Let us sleep here," she murmured, looking up to the palm branches + over them defined against the lustrous sky. +</p> +<p> + "See how the lilies sleep round us!" +</p> +<p> + And that night they slept out in the moonlight. +</p> +<br> +<a name="note-2"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<a href="#2"><u>2</u></a>. Hired carriage. +</p> + +<a name="2HCH0004"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h3> + CHAPTER IV +</h3> +<p> + A month had gone by, and during that month, except for the time he + was with Saidie in the bungalow, Hamilton, had he been less of a + philosopher, would have been extremely uncomfortable. +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner's wife had completely and entirely espoused the + cause of Mrs. Hamilton, and had insisted on her leaving the hotel + and coming to stay with her. Everywhere that the Commissioner's + wife went, riding or driving, Mrs. Hamilton accompanied her; and + whenever he met the two women, his wife threw him a mild, + reproachful glance of martyred virtue, while the Commissioner's + wife glared upon him in stony wrath. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton took no notice of either glance, but passed them as if + neither existed. The Commissioner looked miserably guilty whenever + he encountered Hamilton's amused, penetrating eyes, and avoided + him as much as possible. The Commissioner's house was completely + shut to him; he never approached it now except on official + business, and nearly every house in the station followed its + example. The story of Mrs. Hamilton's woes and wrongs had spread + all over the community, and proved a theme of delightful and + never-ending interest to all the ladies of the station. They were + unanimous in supporting her. Not one voice was raised in favour of + Hamilton. He was a monster, a heartless libertine, given over to + all sorts of terrible vices. Tales of the fearful doings in the + desert bungalow, where Hamilton and Saidie lived the gay, bright, + joyous life of two human beings, happily mated, as Nature intended + all things to be, spread over the station, and the stony stare of + the women upon Hamilton, when they met him, mingled insensibly with + a shrinking horror that greatly amused him. +</p> +<p> + Nobody spoke to him except in his business capacity. Every one + avoided him. He was practically ostracised. Mrs. Hamilton, on the + other hand, went everywhere, and thoroughly enjoyed herself in the + <i>rôle</i> of gentle forgiving martyr that she played to perfection. + Being plain and unattractive to men, she was thoroughly popular + with the women, and they were never tired of condoling with her on + having such a brute of a husband. What more natural, poor dear! + than that she should refuse to live with him in India, if the + climate did not suit her? So unreasonable of him to expect it! The + question of a family, too! why, what woman was there now who did + not hate to have her figure spoiled, and object to be always in the + sick-room and nursery? So natural that she did not wish those + disagreeable passionate relationships: a man could not expect that + sort of thing from his wife! And then the money, too! she had never + had more than half his income all these twenty years! It seemed to + them that she had been wonderfully good and resigned. +</p> +<p> + Such was the talk at the afternoon teas, and the married men at the + club, coached by their wives, and being in the position of the fox + who had lost his brush, and wished no other fox to retain his, + condemned Hamilton quite as freely. +</p> +<p> + "It was beastly rough on his wife," they agreed, "to set up a + black dancing-girl under her eyes." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton cared not at all for the social life of the station, and + was greatly relieved by not having invitations to give or to + answer. All that he regretted was the ultimate resignation of his + post, which, he foresaw, would be the result of all this scandal + sooner or later. +</p> +<p> + Saidie, with Oriental quickness, had soon grasped the whole + situation, and had flung herself at his feet in a passion of tears, + begging him to send her away or to kill her rather than let her + presence make him unhappy. Hamilton had some difficulty in turning + her mind from the resolve to kill herself by way of serving him; + and it was only his solemn oath to her that she was the one single + joy and happiness of his life, that with her in his arms he cared + about nothing else, that if he lost her his life was at an end, + which pacified and at last convinced her. +</p> +<p> + Another month went by, and Mrs. Hamilton began to tire of her + position. She felt she was not making Hamilton half unhappy enough. + She had had but one idea, and that was to separate him from Saidie, + and in this she had failed. He had not even been turned out of his + post. He had been expelled from the social life of the station; but + she knew he would not feel that, that he would only welcome the + greater leisure he had to spend in his Eden with <i>her</i>. To play the + martyr for a time had been interesting, but its pleasure was + beginning to wane; moreover, she could not stay permanently with + the Commissioner's wife. She grew restless: she must carry out her + plan somehow. When Hamilton's life was completely wrecked, she + would be ready to return to England—not till then; and she lay + awake at nights grinding her long, narrow, wolf-like teeth together + as she thought of Hamilton in the desert bungalow. +</p> +<p> + One morning, after a nearly sleepless night, she got up and looked + critically at her face in the glass. Old and haggard as usual it + looked; but to-day, in addition to age and care, a specially evil + determination sat upon it. +</p> +<p> + "Life is practically done with," she thought, looking at it. "I + have only this one thing to care about now, and I'll do it somehow + before I go. If I can't enjoy my life, he shan't enjoy his." +</p> +<p> + She turned from the glass, and commenced dressing. The evil look + deepened on her face from minute to minute, and the word "Beast!" + came at intervals through her teeth. +</p> +<p> + Outside the window of her charming room all was waking in the + joyous dawn of the East. Long shadows lay across the velvet green + slopes of the Commissioner's lawn as the sun rose behind the + majestic palms that shaded it; floods of golden light were rippling + softly over roses and stephanotis, opening bud after bud to the + azure above them; the gay call of the birds rang through the clear + morning air; the perroquets swung in ecstasy on the bamboo + branches, crying out shrill comments on each other's toilet. The + scent of a thousand blossoms rose up like some magic influence, + stealing through the sparkling sunlight into the room, and played + round the thin face of the woman within, but it could make no + message clear to her. Every sense of hers had long been sealed to + all joy by hate. +</p> +<p> + At breakfast she announced her intention of leaving India by the + following mail, and not all the kind pressure brought to bear upon + her by the Commissioner's wife could induce her to postpone her + departure. She was gentle, calm, and resigned in manner, as usual, + excessively grateful for all they had done for her, and the + kindness shown her. She spoke very sweetly of her husband, told + them how she had hoped by coming out to induce him to leave the + evil life he was leading; but she saw now that these things lay in + higher hands than hers, and she felt all she could do was to pray + and hope for him in silence. +</p> +<p> + "Why don't you divorce him?" broke in the Commissioner abruptly and + quickly, anxious to get it out before his wife could stop him. He + tugged violently at his moustache, waiting for her answer. If she + would do that, he was thinking, what a relief for that poor devil + Hamilton! +</p> +<p> + "Divorce him?" returned Mrs. Hamilton resignedly. "Never! It is a + wife's duty to submit to whatever cross Providence lays upon her, + but divorce seems to me only the resource of abandoned women." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner's wife nodded her head in majestic approval. The + Commissioner got up abruptly, breakfast being concluded. He said + nothing, but his mental ejaculation was, "Old hag! knows she + couldn't get any one else, nor half such a handsome allowance!" +</p> +<p> + The day for Mrs. Hamilton's departure came, and on its morning + Hamilton found a note from her on his office desk. He took it up + and opened it with a feeling of repulsion. +</p> +<p class="block"> + "D<small>EAR</small> F<small>RANK</small>,—I am leaving by the noon boat for England. They + seem to have altered their time of sailing to twelve instead + of seven P.M.<br><br> + + "I am sorry my visit here has caused you trouble. Do not be + too hard on me. I am leaving now, and do not intend to worry + you again. You must lead your own life until, perhaps, some + day you wish to return to me. You will find me ready to + welcome you. Good-bye, and forgive any pain I have caused + you.—Your affectionate wife, +</p> +<p class="ar"> J<small>ANE</small>." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton read this note with amazement, and a sense of its falsity + swept over him, as if a wind had risen from the paper and struck + his face. But as men too often do, he tried to thrust away his + first true instincts, and replace their warning with a lumbering + reason. He sat deep in thought, gazing at the table before him. If + it were true, if she were really going, if she really meant + good-bye, what a relief! But it was impossible, unless, indeed, she + had accomplished her plan, and had heard that he had been, or was + about to be dismissed from his post. +</p> +<p> + This seemed to throw a light upon the matter, and with the idea of + finding confirmation of this in some of the other letters awaiting + him, he started to go through them. It was a heavy post-bag, and + gave him much to attend to. He went through the letters, but found + nothing relative to himself in them, and settled down to his work. + Twelve, one, and two passed, and he looked up at the clock, + wondering if she were really gone. He seemed to have no inclination + for lunch, so he worked on without leaving the office, and only + rose to clear his desk when it was time to leave for the day. + To-morrow he would learn definitely what passengers the out-going + boat had carried. He would not stay this evening to find out. He + felt ill, listless; he only wanted to be back with Saidie in the + restful shade of the palms. +</p> +<p> + As he rode across the desert that evening an indefinable depression + hung over him. Never since he had found Saidie had that melancholy, + once so natural, come back to him. Her spirit, whether she were + absent or present, seemed always with him—a gay, bright, beautiful + vision ever before his eyes, giving him the feeling that he was + looking always into sunlight. But to-night there seemed emptiness, + gloom about him. +</p> +<p> + "It's the weather," he muttered, and looked upward to the curious + sky. It was gold, gleaming gold; but close to the horizon lay two + bright purple bars, like lines of writing in the West: the prophecy + of a storm, and the heat seemed to hang in the air that not a + faintest breath moved. +</p> +<p> + Swiftly and evenly the great camel bore him, its well-beloved + master, over the rippling sand towards the palms in the golden + west, but the approaching night travelled faster than they, and it + was quite dark, with a sullen heavy darkness, before they reached + the bungalow. It seemed very quiet, with an indefinable sense of + stillness in the garden and wide hall. Neither Saidie nor any + servant came to meet him, and it was quite dark: no lamp had been + lighted. With a sudden throb of terror in his heart, Hamilton + paused and called "Saidie." +</p> +<p> + There was no response, no sound. Striking a match, Hamilton + deliberately lit a lamp. Some great evil was upon him, and with a + curious calmness he went forward to meet it. He went upstairs and + pushed open the door of their bedroom, shielding the light with his + hand and seeking first with his eyes the bed. Saidie lay there: the + exquisite form, in its transparent purple gauze, lay composed upon + the bed, a little to one side. The glorious hair, unbound, rippled + in a dark river to the floor; the head rested sideways as in sleep, + upon the pillow. In silence Hamilton approached; near the bed his + foot slid suddenly; he looked down; there was a tiny lake of + scarlet blood, blackening at its edges, blood on the wooden + bedstead side, blood on the purple muslin over the perfect breasts. + Hamilton, his body growing rigid, put out his hand to her forehead; + it was cold. He set down the lamp and turned her face towards it, + putting his arm under her head. Her lips were stone colour, the + lids were closed over the eyes; the face was the face of death. +</p> +<p> + In those moments Hamilton realized that his own life was over. + Saidie was dead—murdered. The world then was simply no more for + him. All was finished: he himself was a dead man. Only one thing + remained, one duty for him. To avenge her! Then utter rest and + blackness. He looked round thinking. The room was quite empty, + undisturbed. The great pearls on Saidie's neck were untouched. They + gleamed gently in the pale light from his lamp. No robber, no + outsider had been here. Then, in the darkened room, leapt up before + him the truth: a white, blonde face seemed looking at him from the + walls—the thick pale lips, the half-closed sinister eyes, the lean + long figure of his wife rose before him. +</p> +<p> + "But she was to leave by the morning's boat," he muttered. Then + ... a thought struck him. He withdrew his arm gently from the + passive head, lighted another lamp, putting it on a bracket in the + wall, and left the room, descending to the vacant hall. He went to + the verandah and called to his servants. They came, a trembling + crowd, with upraised hands, and fell flat before him, weeping and + striking their heads on the ground. +</p> +<p> + "It is not our fault, Light of Heaven, Father of the Poor, the + Mem-Sahib came—the white Mem-Sahib. We are poor men; we have no + fault at all." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton listened for a moment to the storm of words and protesting + cries. Then he raised his hand and there was silence, but for a + sound of rising wind without and the sobbing of the natives. +</p> +<p> + "Pir Bakhs," he said to the head of them all, the butler, "tell me + all you know. Your mistress is dead. Who is responsible?" +</p> +<p> + The butler came forward and fell at his master's feet with clasped + hands. +</p> +<p> + "Lord of the Earth, I know nothing but this. At five all was quiet + in the house, and our mistress sat in the garden singing. Then + came to the door two runners with a palanquin. They asked to see + our mistress. I said wait. I went to the garden. I said the white + Mem-Sahib has come in a palanquin. My mistress said, 'I will see + her.' She went to the drawing-room, and the white Mem-Sahib came + in, and they drank tea together. Your servant is a poor man, and he + saw no more till the runners went away with the palanquin. So we + said, 'The white Mem-Sahib has gone,' and my mistress said to me + she felt drowsy and must sleep, and went upstairs to the Light of + Heaven's room and shut the door. And your servant was laying the + table in your honour's dining-room a little later, and he went to + close the jillmills,<a name="3"></a><a href="#note-3"><small>[3]</small></a> for the wind was rising, and your servant + saw through the jillmill the white Mem-Sahib again getting into her + palanquin that had appeared once more at the back, and the runners + ran with it very fast into the desert; then your servant ran out to + ask the other servants why the white Mem-Sahib had come back, and + the ayah met him at the door and said she had found our mistress + killed in her room; and your honour's servant is a poor man, and + has wept ever since." +</p> + +<p> + Hamilton listened in perfect silence. The man's face was lined with + grief, the tears rolled in streams down his livid cheeks. A wail + went up from the other servants at his words. Hamilton and his + mistress were their idols, and his grief was very real to + themselves. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton stretched out his hand to the trembling man with a benign + gesture. +</p> +<p> + "Pir Bakhs, I believe you. You have served me many years, and never + lied to me. This is another's work, not yours. Be at peace. You + have no fault." +</p> +<p> + The butler wept louder, and the others wailed with him, calling + upon Heaven to bless their master and avenge their mistress. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton turned from them to the dark dining-room, which he crossed + to the hall; through this he walked in the darkness as a blind man + walks, to the entrance. +</p> +<p> + He tore the wood-work door open, wrenching it from its hinges, and + looked out into the night. A dust-storm was raging in the desert + beyond the compound, and its stinging blasts of wind, laden with + sand, drove heavily over the exquisite masses of bloom, the + glorious and delicate scented blossoms of the garden. It tore off + the flowers remorselessly, and even for the moment he stood there, + a rain of thin, white, shredded petals was flung into his face. The + branches of the trees groaned and whined in the thick darkness, the + swish of broken and bent bamboo came from all sides, the roar of + the dust driven through the foliage filled his ears. The garden, + the beautiful, sheltered garden, scene of their delights, was being + ruthlessly destroyed, even as his life had been; it was expiring in + agony, even as he would shortly expire: to-morrow it would be + desolate, a shattered wreck under the dust, even as he, in a little + while—But something should be done first. +</p> +<p> + Leaving the doorway open, letting the dust-laden wind tear + shrieking through the silent house, he plunged into the roaring + darkness. He took the centre path that led straight to the compound + gate. The unhappy bushes and tortured branches of the trees, bent + and twisted by the onrushing wind, lashed his face and body as he + went down the path. He did not feel their stinging blows. On, on to + the desert he went blindly but steadily in the thick darkness. +</p> +<p> + When he got beyond the compound gate, out of the shelter of the + garden, the weight of the wind almost bore him down; but as he + faced its blast, his eyes saw, not so very far, out on the plain, + dull in the whirling mist, the dancing uncertain light of a carried + lantern. As the tiger darts forward on its prey, as the snake + springs to the attack, Hamilton leapt forward into the wall of wind + that faced him and ran at the dancing light. +</p> +<p> + Choked with sand, blinded, suffocated and breathless, but full of + power to kill, he was on it at last, and flung himself with sinewy + hands on the swaying, covered sedan chair, between the two bearers, + who, bewildered and helpless in the sudden storm, were groping + slowly across the plain. With a shriek they dropped the handles, as + Hamilton flung himself suddenly on the chair; the lantern fell into + the sand and went out. The natives, thinking the devil, the actual + spirit of the storm, had overtaken them, fled howling into the + blackness, their cries swallowed up like whispers in the roar of + the wind. As the chair struck the sand, the woman within thrust her + head with a cry through the open side. Hamilton seized it by the + neck. Out! out of the sedan chair, through the burst-open door, he + pulled the wretched creature by her head, and then flung her with + all his force upon the sand. +</p> +<p> + The raging wind swept past them in sheets of dust, bellowing as it + went. He knelt on her body; his hands ground into her neck. Through + the darkness he saw beneath him the thin, white oval of the face, + with its eyes bulging, starting out of the head, its lips writhing + in agony; two white hands beat helplessly in the black air beside + him. He looked hard into her eyes, bending down to her close, very + near, as his hands sank deeper into her neck, his fingers locked + more tightly round it. In a few seconds the light of the eyes went + out, the hands ceased to beat the air. Saidie was avenged. With a + laugh that rang out into the noise of the storm, the man got up + from the limp body and stood by it, in the echoing darkness. Then + he kicked it, so that it rolled over, and the sand came up in + waves eager to bury it. +</p> +<p> + In an hour woman, sedan chair, lantern would all be beneath a level + plain of sand. +</p> +<p> + He turned back towards the bungalow. "Saidie," he murmured, and the + storm-wind seemed to rave "Saidie!" "Saidie!" round him, to whirl + the name upwards to the dim stars, glimmering one here and there, + far off and veiled in the heavens. He went back; the wind helped + him. On its wings he seemed borne back to his house, through the + tortured garden, through the gaping doorway, over the shattered + door he passed, and then up the stairs to their room. +</p> +<p> + After the inferno of the desert the inside of the house seemed + quiet, and in their room the lamps burned steadily, but low. Their + oil was used up, their life, like his, was nearly done. The bed + stood there and on its calm white stillness lay Saidie, waiting for + him, for him alone, as always. +</p> +<p> + He went up to her and stood there. +</p> +<p> + "Saidie?" but she did not answer. He lay down beside her gently, so + as not to break her slumber, and then drew her to his breast. Ah + his treasure! his world! Surely now all was well since she was + safe in his arms! He did not feel the deathly coldness. There was a + whizzing in his brain where Nature had laid her finger on a vein, + and broken it that he might be released from sorrow and die. +</p> +<p> + "Saidie?" he murmured again as her breast pressed his, and put his + lips to hers. +</p> +<p> + As his life had first dawned in her kiss, so it went back now to + the lips that had given it, and in that kiss he died. +</p> +<br> +<a name="note-3"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<a href="#3"><u>3</u></a>. Wooden shutters. +</p> +<hr> + +<a name="2H_4_0006"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + II +</h2> +<br> +<p> + There was complete silence in the large room, filled with long, + wavering shadows that the flickering firelight chased over the + walls and amongst the gilt-edged tables. +</p> +<p> + Beyond the windows the dusk was gathering quickly in the wind-swept + street, beneath the leaden sky. From the pane nearest the fire a + side-light fell across a man's figure leaning against the corner of + the mantel-shelf. A ruddy glow from the hearth struck upon the silk + skirt of a girl leaning back in the easy-chair beneath the other + corner. +</p> +<p> + Her face is lost in the shadow. +</p> +<p> + He is a good-looking fellow, very. The high white collar that shows + up in the dusk is fastened round a long, well-set neck; the figure + in the blue serge suit is straight and pleasing, and the shoulders + erect and slim. +</p> +<p> + The girl's eyes, looking out of the shadow, take in these points, + and the pleasure they give her seems inextricably confused with + dull pain. Her gaze passes on to his face, and rests eagerly, + almost thirstily, upon it. +</p> +<p> + There is light enough still to show her its well-cut oval, spoiled + now by the haggard falling in of the cheeks, the lines in the + forehead, and the swellings beneath the eyes. +</p> +<p> + He shifts his position a little and glances through the window. His + eyes are full of irritation, and the girl knows it, though they are + turned from her. She gives a suppressed, inaudible sigh; his + attitude now brings out the impatient discontent on his mouth and + the rigid determination of the chin. +</p> +<p> + "I suppose you mean two people can live upon nothing?" His voice is + cold, even hostile, and he speaks apparently to the panes, but the + tones are well-bred and pleasing; and again the girl wonders dimly + which is the predominating sensation in her—pleasure or pain. +</p> +<p> + "No," she says, in rather a suffocated voice. "But I say, if either + person has enough, or the two together, it does not matter which + has it, or which has the most." +</p> +<p> + Silence, which her hesitating, timid voice breaks at last. +</p> +<p> + "Does it?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I think it does," he answered shortly. "The man must have + enough to support both, or he has no right to marry at all." +</p> +<p> + The girl's hands lock themselves together convulsively, unseen + behind her slight waist, laced so skilfully into the fashionable + bodice. +</p> +<p> + There is a hard decision in the incisive tones that does not belong + to the mere expression of a general theory—a cold authority and a + weight of personal conviction that turns the words into a statement + of rigid principle. +</p> +<p> + The girl feels almost dizzy, and she closes her hot eyelids + suddenly to shut out the line of that hard, obstinate chin. +</p> +<p> + "People's ideas on what is enough to support both vary so much," + she says quietly, with well-bred indifference in her tone, while + her heart beats wildly as she waits for his next remark. +</p> +<p> + "Well, what would you consider enough yourself?" he says coldly, + after a slight pause, turning a little more towards her. +</p> +<p> + The red light glows steadily on her skirts, and he can see the + graceful outline of her knees under them, and one small foot upon + the hearthrug; the rest of the form is veiled in the shadow, except + one rounded line of a shoulder and the glint of light hair above. +</p> +<p> + He looks down at her, and there seems a sudden, nervous expansion + in his frame; outwardly there is not the faintest impatient + movement. He waits quietly for her reply. +</p> +<p> + The girl hesitates as she looks at him. To her, in her absorbing + love for the man before her, the question is an absurd mockery. +</p> +<p> + To reduce to a certain number of pounds this "enough," when for her + anything or nothing would be enough! +</p> +<p> + "I would rather starve to death in your arms than live another day + without you," is the current running under all her thoughts, and it + confuses them and makes it difficult for her to speak. +</p> +<p> + What shall she answer? To name a sum too small in his eyes will + be as great an error as to name one too large. He would only + think her a silly, sentimental girl, who knows nothing of what + she is talking about, and who has no knowledge and appreciation + of the responsibilities of life. +</p> +<p> + Besides, to name a very small income will be to conjure up before + his eyes the picture of a mean, pitiful, sordid existence, from + which she feels, with painful distinctness, he would turn with + disgust. +</p> +<p> + Poor? Yes, he has told her that he is poor, and she believes it; + but somehow—by contracting debt, probably—she thinks, as her + keen, observant eyes sweep over him, he manages at present to live + and dress as a gentleman. +</p> +<p> + Those well-cut suits, those patent shoes and expensive cigarettes; + these things, she feels instinctively, must be preserved for him, + or any form of life would lose its charm. +</p> +<p> + At the same time, she must mention something that is not hopelessly + beyond him. She recalls her own two hundred; surely, at the least, + he must be making one. +</p> +<p> + "I can hardly say," she murmured at last, "because personally I + think one can live on so very little; but I suppose most people + would say—well, about three hundred pounds a year." +</p> +<p> + "Oh! three hundred a year," he says, stretching out his hand for + the tea-cup on a low table beside him. The tea has grown cold in + the discussion of abstract questions. He takes the cup and sits + down deliberately in the corner of the couch opposite her, and + stirs the tea slowly. +</p> +<p> + "How much is that a week? Five pounds fifteen, isn't it? Well, now, + go on, see what you can make of it. Your house—the smallest—and + servants—" +</p> +<p> + "House and servants!" interrupts the girl, "but why have a house + and servants at all?" +</p> +<p> + "I don't know," he rejoins curtly, "because the girl generally + expects those things when she marries." +</p> +<p> + "Not all girls," she says, and one seems to hear the smile with + which she says it in her voice. +</p> +<p> + "You mean rooms?" he says quickly, with a gleam of pleasure + breaking for a moment across his face. +</p> +<p> + "Well—say rooms—you would want three—thirty shillings, I + suppose, at the least, and then another thirty for board. That + leaves two fifteen for everything else." +</p> +<p> + "Surely that's a good deal." +</p> +<p> + "Oh, I don't know; think of one's clothes," and Stephen stares + moodily into the fire, with a pricking recollection of a tailor's + bill for twenty odd in his drawer at home now. +</p> +<p> + Then, to remove the impression of selfish extravagance he feels he + may have given, he adds: +</p> +<p> + "And a man wants to give his wife some amusement, and three hundred + a year leaves nothing for that." +</p> +<p> + "Amusement!" the girl repeats, starting up and standing upright, + with one elbow just touching the mantelpiece, and the firelight + flooding her figure from the slim waist downwards. "What amusement + does a woman want if she is in love with the man she is living + with? The man himself is her amusement! To watch him when he is + occupied, to wait for him when he is away, to nurse him when he is + ill—that is her amusement: she does not want any other!" +</p> +<p> + Stephen stares at the flexible form, and listens to the words that + he would admire, only the cynical suspicion is in his mind that she + is talking for effect. His general habit was to consider all women + mercenary and untrustworthy. Deep in his heart—for he had a heart, + though contracted from want of use—lay a hungry desire to be + loved, really loved for himself; and the very keenness of the + longing, and the anxiety not to be deceived, lessened his powers of + penetration, and blinded him to the girl's character. +</p> +<p> + He laughs slightly. "You are taking a theatrical view of the whole + thing!" +</p> +<p> + "How do you mean?" +</p> +<p> + "Oh, well, that the wife really loves her husband and sticks to him + through everything, and they pass through unheard-of difficulties + together, and so on"; but he adds, with a faint yawn: "I've always + noticed that when the money goes the love disappears too. There's + no love where there's abject poverty." +</p> +<p> + "But three hundred a year is not abject poverty," answers the girl + in a quiet tone, not denying his theory for fear of being called + again theatrical. +</p> +<p> + "No," he admits. "Oh, it might do very well as long as there were + only two; but then, when there are children, it means a nurse, and + all sorts of expenses." +</p> +<p> + He says the words with a simplicity and directness that makes the + girl almost catch her breath. For these two were not on intimate + terms with each other, not even terms of intimate speaking. +</p> +<p> + Nothing had passed between them yet but the merest society phrases, + and before a certain quiet dinner one month back neither knew of + the other's existence. Since then some chance meetings on the + beach, the parade, the pier, a few long afternoon rows, between + then and now: these are the only nourishment the flame in either + breast has received—a flame kindled in a few long glances across + the dinner-table. +</p> +<p> + But this afternoon he has laid aside the customary phrases and + deliberately commenced the present conversation. +</p> +<p> + True, it is purely an abstract one—all theory and hypotheses. No + one could say otherwise if it were repeated. Not a personal word + has been uttered on either side; but the girl feels in the + determined tone of his voice, in the studied way he started it, in + the cold precision with which he follows it, that it is practically + a test conversation of herself, and that she is virtually passing + through an examination. +</p> +<p> + He has come this afternoon with a set of certain questions that he + means to put, to all of which her answers are received without + comment, and mentally noted down. +</p> +<p> + He neither repeats himself, nor presses a point, nor leaves out + anything on his mental list, nor allows any remark to lead away + from it. +</p> +<p> + He has also certain things he means to say, which he will say, as + he asks his questions, deliberately, one after the other; and then, + when he has heard and said all he intends, he will terminate the + conversation as decisively as he began it and go. The girl feels + all this, for her brain is as clear and keen as the glance of her + eyes. +</p> +<p> + She knows that he is testing her: that she stands upon trial before + him. +</p> +<p> + She has nothing to hide: only, that too great love and devotion, + that seems to swell and swell irrepressibly within her, and would + pour itself out in words to him, but that his tone, his manner, + his look keep it back absolutely, as a firm hand holds down the + rising cork upon the exuberant wine. And now, at this sentence + of his, her words fail her. They are strangers practically, that + is conventionally—quite strangers, she remembers confusedly—but + for this secret bond of passion, knit up between them, which both + can feel but both ignore. +</p> +<p> + The natural male in him, and the natural female in her, are + already, as it were, familiar, but the fashionable man and girl are + strangers still. +</p> +<p> + Then, now, how is she to say what she wishes to him? How can she + talk with this mere acquaintance upon this subject? The very word + "children" seems to scorch her lips. At the same time, familiarity + with him seems natural and unnatural; terrible, and yet simple. +</p> +<p> + Then, too, what are his views? +</p> +<p> + Will her next words shock him inexpressibly? +</p> +<p> + In her passionate, excitable brain, inflamed with love for the man, + the idea of maternity can merely present itself like an unwelcome, + grey-clad Quaker at a banquet. +</p> +<p> + She hesitates, choosing her words. She knows so little of the man + in front of her. His clothes, she sees, are of the newest cut, but + his notions may not be. +</p> +<p> + At last her soft, weak, timid voice breaks the pause. +</p> +<p> + "Do you think it necessary to have very large families?" +</p> +<p> + "No, I don't," he answers instantly with the energy and alacrity of + one who is glad to express his opinion. "No, I don't, not at all." +</p> +<p> + The girl's suspended breath is drawn again. Unlike himself in his + queries she presses her point home. +</p> +<p> + "Don't you think those marriages are the happiest where there are + no children?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes," he says decidedly, getting up and thrusting his hands into + his coat pockets. "Yes, I do—much the happiest." +</p> +<p> + There is silence. It is too dark for either to see the other's + expression. He stands irresolutely for a minute or two, and then + says with a disagreeable laugh: +</p> +<p> + "I should hate my own children! Fancy coming home and finding a lot + of children crying and screaming in the place." +</p> +<p> + To this the girl says nothing, and Stephen, after a minute's + reflection, softens his words. +</p> +<p> + "Besides, your wife's love, when she has children, is all given to + them." +</p> +<p> + "Yes," murmurs her well-bred voice. "Oh, yes, one is happier + without them." +</p> +<p> + Neither speak. They are agreed so far; there is a deep relief and + pleasure in the breast of each. +</p> +<p> + "Well," he says at last, rousing himself, "I must go. I shall be + late for dinner." +</p> +<p> + The girl leans down and stirs the fire into a leaping, yellow + blaze. It fills the room with light, and reveals them fully now to + each other. +</p> +<p> + She makes no effort to detain him, and they look at each other, + about to part. +</p> +<p> + The self-control of each is marvellous, and admirable for its mere + thoroughness and completeness. +</p> +<p> + He has large eyes, and they stare down at her haggardly, as he + stands facing her in the light. The hungry, hopeless look in those + eyes and the drawn lines in his face go to the girl's heart, and to + herself it seems literally melting into one warm flood of sympathy. +</p> +<p> + Ill! he looks ill and wretched, and she longs with a longing that + presses upon her, till it is like a physical agony, to give some + way to her feelings. +</p> +<p> + "Dearest, my dearest!" she is thinking, "if I might only tell + you—even a little—" +</p> +<p> + And Stephen stares at the soft face and warm lips, half-paralyzed + with desire to bend down and kiss them. How would a kiss be? how + would they—And so there is a momentary, barely perceptible pause, + filled with a painful intensity of feeling, to which neither gives + way one hair's breadth. Then he gives a curt laugh. +</p> +<p> + "We have discussed rather a difficult problem and not settled it," + he says in a conventional tone. +</p> +<p> + "It seems to me quite simple," murmurs the girl, with a throat so + dry that the words are hardly audible. +</p> +<p> + He hears, but makes no reply beyond another slight laugh, as he + holds out his hand. The girl puts hers into it. There is a moderate + pressure only on either side, and then he goes out and shuts the + door, leaving the girl standing motionless—all the warm springs + in her heart frozen by his last cynical laugh. +</p> +<p> + Brookes finds his way down the stairs, through the unlighted hall, + and lets himself out in the chill October air. +</p> +<p> + He goes down the street feeling a confused sense of having + inflicted pain and left distress behind him, but his own sensation + of irritation, his own vexation and angry resentment against his + lot in life, all but obliterate it. +</p> +<p> + For some seconds he walks on with all his thoughts merged together + in a mere desperate and painful confusion. "Only a hundred a year!" + is his plainest, most bitter reflection. "Five-and-twenty, and only + earning a hundred a year!" +</p> +<p> + Brookes is not of a calm temperament. His nervous system is tensely + strung, and generally, owing to various incidental matters, + slightly out of tune, or at anyrate, feels so. +</p> +<p> + His circulation is rapid, every pulse beats strongly, and the blood + flows hotly in his veins. +</p> +<p> + His mental nature is of much the same order—passionate, excitable, + and impatient; but there is such a heavy curb-rein of control + perpetually upon it, that its three leading qualities jar inwardly + upon himself more than they show to outsiders. +</p> +<p> + Even now the confused, excited disorder in his brain is soon + regulated and calmed by his will, and as he walks on he lapses into + trying to recollect whether he has said all he meant to. +</p> +<p> + He concludes that he has, and a certain satisfaction comes over + him. +</p> +<p> + "Well, I have told her my views now," he reflects. "She sees what I + think, and what my principles are. She won't wonder that I say + nothing. I shall try for another post and a rise of salary, and + then—" +</p> +<p> + Stephen's character was a fine one in its way. The capacity for + self-command and self-denial was tremendous, his sense of honour + keen, his adherence to that which he conceived the right + inflexible, his will immutable; but of the subtler sweetness of + the human heart he had none. +</p> +<p> + Of sympathy, the divine συμ, παθος, <i>the suffering with</i>, he had not the vaguest conception: of its faint and poor + reflections, pity and mercy, he had but a dim idea. +</p> +<p> + He stuck as well as he could to what he thought was the right + path, and as to the feelings of others, he could not be blamed for + not considering them, for he had never practically realized that + they had any. +</p> +<p> + In the present circumstances he had a few, fine, adamantine rules + for conduct, which he was going to steadfastly apply, and he + thought no more of the girl's feelings under them than one thinks + of the inanimate parcel one is cording with what one knows is good, + stout string. +</p> +<p> + In his eyes it was distinctly dishonourable for a man to engage a + girl to himself without a reasonably near prospect of marriage. +</p> +<p> + It was also decidedly ungentlemanly to propose to a girl if she had + money and you had none. Moreover, it was extremely selfish to + remove a girl from a comfortable position to a poorer one, though + she might positively swear she preferred it; and lastly, it was + unwise for various reasons, to be too amiable to the girl, or to + give any but the dimmest clue to your own feelings. +</p> +<p> + There was no telling—your feelings might change even—when you + have to wait so long—and then it was much better, <i>for the girl</i>, + that she should not be tied to you. +</p> +<p> + To visit the girl frequently, to hang about her to the amusement of + onlookers, to keep alive her passion by look and hint and innuendo, + to excite her by advances when he was in the humour, and studiously + repulse her when she made any, to act almost as if he were her + <i>fiancé</i>, and curtly resent it if she ever assumed he was more than + an ordinary friend—this line of action he saw no fault in. The + above were his views, and they were excellent, and if the girl + didn't understand them she might do the other thing. +</p> +<p> + Some weeks passed, and the man and the girl saw each other + constantly—three or four times in the week, perhaps more; and the + inward irritation grew intense, while their outward relations + remained unchanged. +</p> +<p> + There was a certain brutality that crept into the man's tones + occasionally when he addressed her, a certain savage irritability + in manner, that told the girl's keen intelligence something; some + involuntary sighs of hers as she sat near him, and an increasing + look of exhaustion on her face, that told him something. But that + was all. +</p> +<p> + There were no tender passages between them; none of the + conventional English flirting—matters were too serious, and the + nature of each too violent to permit of that. A little bitter, + more or less hostile, conversation passed between them on the + most trifling subjects in his long afternoon calls. A little + music would be attempted—that is, he would sing song after song, + while she accompanied him, but a song was rarely completed. + Generally, before or at the middle, he would seize the music in a + gust of irrepressible and barely-veiled irritability, and fling + it on the piano—yet they attempted the music with unwavering + persistence, and both rose to go to the instrument with mutual + alacrity. +</p> +<p> + There they were close to each other—so close that the warmth and + breath of their beings were interchanged. There in the pursuit of a + fallen sheet of music, his head bent down and touched hers. Once, + apparently to regain the leaf, his hand and arm leaned hard upon + her lap. One second, perhaps, no more; but the girl's whole + strained system seemed breaking up at the touch—her control + shattered, like machinery violently reversed. +</p> +<p> + The music leaf was replaced, but her hands had fallen nerveless + from the keys. +</p> +<p> + "It is hot. I can't go on playing. Put the window open, will you, + for me?" +</p> +<p> + Stephen walked to the window, raised it, and smiled into the dark. +</p> +<p> + That night it seemed to Stephen he could never force himself to + leave the girl. He prolonged the playing past all reasonable + limits, until May's sister laughingly reminded him that they were + only staying in seaside lodgings, and other occupants of the house + must be considered. Stephen reluctantly relinquished the friendly + piano, and then stood, with May's sweet figure beside him, and her + upraised face clear to the side vision of his eye, talking to her + sister. +</p> +<p> + At last, when every trifle is exhausted of which he can make + conversation, there comes a pause, a silence; he can think of + nothing more. He nerves himself, holds out his hand, and says, + "Good-night!" +</p> +<p> + May, influenced equally by the same indomitable aversion to be + separated from him, follows him outside the drawing-room, and + another pause is made on the stair. By this time a fresh stock of + chaff and light wit is ready in Stephen's brain, and he makes use + of anything and everything to procure him another moment at her + side; but of all the passion within him, of the ardent, impetuous + impulse towards her, nothing, not the faintest trace, shows. +</p> +<p> + A mere "Good-night!" ends their conversation at length, and the + girl did not re-enter the drawing-room, but passed straight up the + stairs to her own room. +</p> +<p> + "Does he care? Does he care or not?" she asked herself, walking + ceaselessly backwards and forwards. "If I only knew that he did! + This is killing me; and suppose, after all, he does not care!" +</p> +<p> + She almost reels in her walk, and then stretches her arms out on + her mantelpiece, and leans her head heavily upon them. +</p> +<p> + "So this is being in love!" she thinks, with a faint satirical + smile. "All this anxiety and pain and feeling of illness! Why, it + is as if poison had been poured through me." +</p> +<p> + Through the next day May lay pallid and silent on the couch, + without pretence of occupation, feeling too exhausted even to + respond to her sister's chaff and raillery. +</p> +<p> + It was only at dinner, when her brother-in-law informed his wife he + was sick of the place, and that nothing would induce him to stay + more than another week, that a stain of scarlet colour appeared in + May's cheeks and a terrified dilation in her eyes. +</p> +<p> + Her lids were lowered directly, and the blood receded again. She + made no remark, but at the close of dinner she excused herself, and + went upstairs alone. +</p> +<p> + Once in her room, she stripped off her dinner-dress and shoes, and + re-dressed in morning things. Her hands trembled so violently that + she could hardly fasten her bodice over the wildly-expanding bosom. +</p> +<p> + But her resolve was fixed. They were going in a week. To-morrow, + she knew, Stephen was leaving the place for a fortnight. She must + see him to-night. +</p> +<p> + When she is completely dressed, she pauses for a moment to choke + down the terrible physical excitement that seems to rob her of + breath and muscular power. +</p> +<p> + Then she passes downstairs quietly and goes out. +</p> +<p> + The night is still, cold, and dark. +</p> +<p> + May walks rapidly through the few streets that divide his house and + hers. +</p> +<p> + The few men she meets turn involuntarily to glance after the + splendid form that goes by them, and in her decisive walk, in the + eyes blind to them, they feel instinctively she is already owned, + mentally or actually, by some one other. +</p> +<p> + When she reaches Stephen's house, she learns he is in, and with a + great fear of him suddenly rushing over her, she sends word up to + him by the servant: Will he see her? +</p> +<p> + While she waits in the hall, her message is taken upstairs. May + leans against the wall, a terrible sick faintness, born of + excitement and hysteria, coming suddenly upon her. +</p> +<p> + There is a hall-chair, but her eyes are too darkened to see it; she + simply clings to the handle of the door, and lets her head sink + against the side of the passage. +</p> +<p> + Brookes is upstairs with his brother and two friends; they have + been playing cards, but a game is just over, and the men have got + up to stretch themselves. +</p> +<p> + Stephen himself is leaning back against the mantelpiece, as his + habit is, and yawning slightly. He has just been beaten, and he is + a man who can't play a losing game. +</p> +<p> + "No," his brother remarks. "I didn't know what the deuce 'Ladas' + meant till I looked it up; did you, Steve?" +</p> +<p> + "Oh, I should think every schoolboy would know that," is the curt + response, and at that moment the servant's knock comes at the door. +</p> +<p> + "Please, sir, there's a lady as wants to see you," the girl says + with a perceptible grin. "She said she wouldn't come up, and she's + waiting in the hall, sir." +</p> +<p> + There is a blank silence in the room. Brookes pales suddenly, and + his eyebrows, that habitually have a supercilious elevation, rise + still higher with annoyance. +</p> +<p> + He hesitates a single second, then, without a word in reply, he + crosses the room towards the door, and the servant retreats + hastily. +</p> +<p> + The men glance furtively at each other, but Stephen's devil of a + temper being well known, they forbear to laugh or even smile till + he is well out of the room. Brookes goes down the stairs with one + sentence only in his mind: Coming to my rooms, and making a fool + of me! +</p> +<p> + He is annoyed, intensely annoyed, and that is his sole feeling. +</p> +<p> + May is standing upright now in the centre of the hall under the + swinging lamp, and she watches him run lightly down the long flight + of stairs towards her with swimming eyes. +</p> +<p> + What is there in that figure of his that has so much influence on + her senses? More, perhaps, even than his face, do the lines of his + neck and shoulders and their carriage please her. All the pleasure + she can ever realise in life seems contained for her in that slim, + well-made frame, in its blue serge suit. +</p> +<p> + She makes one impetuous step forward, her whole form dominated, + impelled by the surge of ardent feelings within her, and holds out + one trembling, burning hand. Stephen, with a confused sense of its + being awfully bad form that she should be standing in his hall, + takes it in his right hand, feeling hastily for the lucifers with + his left. +</p> +<p> + "Er—come into the dining-room, won't you?" he says, with the + familiar, supercilious accent that with him is the expression of + suppressed annoyance and slight embarrassment. +</p> +<p> + He knows the rooms are unlet, and with gratitude for this + providential circumstance in his thoughts, and his heart beating + violently with sudden excitement now he is actually in her + presence, he turns the handle of the door and sets it wide open. +</p> +<p> + He strikes a match and holds it up, leaning back against the door, + for her to pass in before him. +</p> +<p> + As she does so, their two figures for one second almost touch each + other, and a sudden glow lights up in his veins. He feels it, and + it warns him instantly to summon his self-control. That before + everything. +</p> +<p> + The next moment he follows her into the room, lights the gas, + returns to the door, closes it, and then comes back towards the rug + where she is standing. +</p> +<p> + By this time his command is his own. His face is as calm as a mask. + His large eyes, somewhat bloodshot now from hours of smoking and a + sleepless night, rest upon her with cold enquiry. +</p> +<p> + She has seen them once, met them once, fixed, liquid, with + passionate longing upon hers; desperately she seeks in them now for + one gleam of the same light, but there is none. They and his face + are cloaked in a cold reserve. Sick, and with her heart beating to + suffocation, she says, as he waits for her to explain her presence: +</p> +<p> + "We are—going away." +</p> +<p> + Stephen's heart seems to contract at the words he had so often + dreaded to hear, heard at last. +</p> +<p> + His thoughts take a greyer hopelessness. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, really!" he says merely, the shock he feels only slightly + intensifying his habitual drawl. "Not immediately, I hope?" +</p> +<p> + Nothing to the nervous, excited, over-strained girl before him + could be more galling, more humiliating, more crushing than the + cold, conventional politeness of his tones and words. +</p> +<p> + This frightful fence of Society manner that he will put between + them—a slight, delicate defence, is as effectual as if he caused a + precipice by magic to yawn between them. +</p> +<p> + "No—not—not—quite immediately, but soon," she falters. "And it + seems as if I could not exist if—I—never see you." +</p> +<p> + There is a strained pause while they stand facing each other. He + is motionless; one hand rests in his pocket, the other hangs + nerveless at his side. +</p> +<p> + They look at each other. Each is thinking of the supreme + delight—even if momentary—the other's embrace could give if—but + the conditions in the respective minds are different—in his: "If I + thought it wise;" in hers: "If he only would." +</p> +<p> + "Well, we can write to each other," he says at last. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, but what are letters?" the girl says passionately; and then, + urged on hard by her love for him, her intuition of his love for + her, and her common-sense instinct not to throw away her life's + happiness for a misunderstanding or petty feeling of pride, she + adds: "You know—don't you?—that I care for you more than anything + else in the world." +</p> +<p> + Her tones are sharp with the intensity of feeling, and she + stretches both hands imploringly a little way towards him. +</p> +<p> + He sees them quiver and her face whiten, and the frightened appeal + increase in her pained eyes searching his face, and it is a + marvel—later, he marvels at it himself—how, with his own passion + keen and alive in him, he maintains his ground. But there is + something in the whole scene that jars upon him—something + theatrical that makes the thought flash upon him: Is it a got-up + thing? +</p> +<p> + This puts him on the defensive directly; besides, he resents her + coming to him in this way, and endeavouring to surprise from him + words he has already explained to her he is unwilling to say. +</p> +<p> + She is trying to rush him, he puts it to himself; and the thought + rouses all his own obstinacy and self-will. +</p> +<p> + When he chooses he will speak, and not before. +</p> +<p> + "It is very good of you to say so," he answers quietly, in a cold + formal tone, and the girl quivers as if he had struck her. +</p> +<p> + Now, in his lonely, sleepless nights, the misery on the white face + comes back and back to him in the darkness of his room, but then he + is blind to it. +</p> +<p> + In an annoyed mood to begin with, irritated beyond bearing by his + own helpless, ignominious position, as he fancies, he has no + perception left for his own danger of losing her. +</p> +<p> + And the man, who had lived till five-and-twenty, desiring real + love, and not knowing it, deliberately trampled upon it without + recognising what he did. +</p> +<p> + His words cut the girl terribly. +</p> +<p> + It seems impossible for the second that she can force herself to + speak again to him, but the terrible, irrepressible longing within + her nerves her for one more effort. +</p> +<p> + "Is that all you can tell me? Do you not care for me at all?" +</p> +<p> + He looks at her and hesitates. So modest, so appealing, so timid, + and yet so passionate! Surely this is genuine love for him. Why + thrust it back? But the thought recurs. No. She is rushing him; and + he declines to be rushed. Also a sort of half-embarrassment comes + over him, a nervous instinct to put off, ward off a scene in which + he will be called upon to demonstrate feelings he may not satisfy. +</p> +<p> + He laughs slightly, and says: +</p> +<p> + "Of course I do! I like you very much!" +</p> +<p> + The tones are slighting and contemptuous, enough so to convey + the polite warning: Don't go any further, and force me to be + positively rude to you. +</p> +<p> + Swayed by his strong physical passion, and blinded by the dogged + determination he has to remain master of it, he is absolutely + insensible of another's suffering. +</p> +<p> + Had the girl had greater experience with men, more hardihood and + less modesty; if she could have approached him, and taken his hands + and pressed them to her bosom; if she had had the courage to force + upon him the mysterious influence of physical contact, Stephen's + control would have melted in the kindled fire. +</p> +<p> + Words stir the brain, and through the brain, the senses; but with + some people it's a long way round. +</p> +<p> + Touch stirs the nerves, and its flame runs through the body like a + flying pain. +</p> +<p> + Stephen's physical nerves were far more sensitive than his brain, + and had the girl been a woman of the half-world, or even of the + world, she could have succeeded. But she was a girl; and her + modesty and innocence, the chastity of all her mental and physical + being, hung like dead weights upon her in the encounter. +</p> +<p> + His words, his tones, his glance simply paralyze her—not + figuratively, but positively. Her physical power to move towards + him, to make a further appeal to him, is gone. Speech is dried upon + her lips, wiped from them as a handkerchief passed over them might + take their moisture. +</p> +<p> + She looks at him, dumb, frenzied with the intense longing to throw + herself actually at his feet, but yet held back by some + irresistible power she cannot comprehend, any more than one can + comprehend the stifling, overpowering force in a nightmare. +</p> +<p> + It is the simple result of her life, her breeding, her virtue, her + character, her habits of control and reserve. She is the + fashionable, well-brought-up girl, with all her sensitive instincts + in revolt against forcing herself upon a man indifferent to her, + and full of an overwhelming instinctive timidity that her desire is + wild to break down and cannot. +</p> +<p> + She stares at him, lost in a sense of bitter pain. All her vigorous + life seems wrung with pain, and in that torture, in which every + nerve seems bruised and quivering, a faint smile twists at last the + pale, trembling lips. "You would have made a good vivisector!" she + says. Then, before he has time to answer, she turns the handle of + the door behind her, opens it and goes out. +</p> +<p> + A second after the street door closes, and Stephen stands on the + dining-room mat, looking down the empty hall. Thoroughly disturbed + and excited, with all his own passion surging heavily through his + blood, and her last sentence—that he does not understand any more + than he understands his own cruelty—ringing in his ears, he + hesitates a minute, and then re-enters the dining-room, shuts to + the door, and walks savagely up and down. +</p> +<p> + "Extraordinary girl!" he mutters. "What does she want? What can I + do? She knows I can say nothing at present, when I'm going into the + work-house myself! But what a splendid creature she is! Lots of + 'go' in her. Well, I don't care. I'll have her one day; but there's + no use making a lot of talk about it now." +</p> +<p> + May walked away from his doorstep, no longer a sane human being, + responsible for its actions. The whole physical, nervous system, + weakened by months of self-control, and night following night of + sleeplessness, was hopelessly dislocated now. +</p> +<p> + The whole weight of her excited passion, flung back upon the + sensitive brain, turned it from its balance. It had been a + brilliant brain, and that very excitability that had lent its + brilliance was fatal to it now. +</p> +<p> + The hopeless passion ran like a corroding poison through the + inflammable tissue. +</p> +<p> + She had put the matter to the test, and found that truth of which + the mere possibility had been torture. He had absolutely rejected + her. "He could not care for me," she kept repeating, as the silent + air round her seemed full of his cold, short laughs. +</p> +<p> + His passion for her was dead. It had existed, surely—those looks + of his, the sudden violence of his touch when there was any excuse + for the slightest contact with her—or had it all been some curious + dream? +</p> +<p> + She could not tell now, but whether it had been or not, it was no + longer. To her that seemed the only explanation of his words and + tones. To the tender female nature the depth of brutality in the + passion of the male—that is, in fact, the very sign of it—remains + always an enigma. +</p> +<p> + After the scene just passed, it seemed to the girl impossible, + ludicrous, to suppose that Stephen loved her. +</p> +<p> + She had already made great allowance for him. She had a large share + of the gift of her sex—intuition; and she had understood more than + many women would have done, but to-night he had gone beyond the + limits of her imagination. +</p> +<p> + "No man would be so intensely unkind to a woman he cared for," she + argued. "For nothing, when there is no need." +</p> +<p> + She was not an unreasonable, nor selfish, nor silly girl. Had + Stephen told her he loved her, but that they must suppress their + passion, that she must wait, she would have obeyed him, and waited + months, years, gone down to her grave waiting, in patient fidelity + to him. Her qualities of control were as fine as his, and her + devotion to a man who loved her would have been limitless, but, + acting according to his views, Stephen had taken some trouble to + convince her he was not the man, and she was convinced. +</p> +<p> + And being convinced, the vision of her life without him seemed just + then a dismal waste, impossible to face. +</p> +<p> + In most of the actions of the human being, the physical state of + the person at the time is the principal factor, and May's whole + physical frame, violently over-strained, craved for rest—rest that + the excited brain could not give. Rest was the urgent demand + pressed by the breaking nervous system, and from these two + thoughts—rest, oblivion—grew the dangerous thought of Death. +</p> +<p> + "Sleep and forget! but I can't," she thought, "and if I do, there + is the horrible awakening;" and again her fatigue suggested all the + past sleepless nights, and the craving of the body urged the brain + to find better means of satisfying it, in the same way as the + appetite for food forces the brain to devise methods for procuring + it. +</p> +<p> + She walked on in a straight line from Stephen's house, and the road + happened to pass a post-office. May stopped and looked absently + through its lighted, notice-covered panes. +</p> +<p> + "Send him a few lines," she thought; "because I am so stupid, I + could not tell him enough, and then—" +</p> +<p> + She did not finish the sentence, but all beyond was blank peace. + She went in, bought a letter-card, and wrote:— +</p> +<p class="block"> + "I could have loved you devotedly, intensely, had you wished + it, but you have made it clear to-night that you do not want + love—at any rate, not mine. I have discovered that I have + courage enough to die, but not to live without you. I am going + to the sea now, and in an hour we shall be separated for ever. + I shall know nothing and you will care nothing, so it seems a + good arrangement. My last thought will be of you, my last + desire for you, my last breath your name." +</p> +<p> + She fastened it with an untrembling hand, passed out of the office, + posted it, and went straight down a side street to the parade. +</p> +<p> + The night was still, bound in a frosty silence. The temperature + sank momentarily, and the icy grip intensified in the air. + Overhead the sky was black, and glittered coldly with the winter + stars. Beside and behind her and before her not a living + creature's footstep broke the silence. The sea lay smooth, black, + and motionless on her left, like some huge sleeping monster. +</p> +<p> + She walked on rapidly: a glorious, vigorous, living, youthful + figure, full of that tremendous activity of brain and pulse and + blood, so valuable when there is a use for it, so dangerous when + thrown back upon itself. +</p> +<p> + "How I could have loved him, worshipped him, lived for him, had he + but wanted me!" is the one instinctive cry of her whole nature. +</p> +<p> + At the first easy descent to the beach she turns from the parade, + and goes down, passing without hesitation from the light down to + the moist darkness of the beach. To get away into oblivion, to + escape from this maddening sense of pain, to lose it, let it go + from her like a garment in the black water, is her only impelling + instinct. +</p> +<p> + She sees the glimmer of the water before her without a shudder. How + much dearer and more inviting it seems to her tired eyes than her + bed at home, where so many, many sleepless, anguished nights have + been spent! Here—rest and sleep, with no awakening to a grey and + barren to-morrow. The thought of Death is lost. Desire for the + cessation of pain is keener at its height than even the desire for + life. +</p> +<p> + She stumbles on the wet, black beach at the water's edge, and then + finds where it is slipping like oil over the sand. +</p> +<p> + She walks forward, and the chill of the water rises round her + ankles, then her knees, then her waist, and then she throws herself + face forwards on it, as she once thought to fling herself on his + breast. +</p> +<p> + In a half-drunken satisfaction she stretches her arms out in it and + commences to swim towards the horizon. "Like his arms!" she thinks, + as the water encircles her. "Like his lips!" she thinks, as it + presses on her throat. "And as cold as his nature." +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + The following morning is calm and still—a perfect specimen of + wintry beauty. A light frost covers the ground and sparkles on the + trees. +</p> +<p> + There is a faint chill in the clear air, a tranquil calm on the + gently rising and falling sea and in the lucid sky. +</p> +<p> + The sunlight falling on Stephen's bed and across his sleeping face + shows a smile there, and his arm, lying on the coverlet—an arm + thinned by constant fever and night-sweats—rests, in his thoughts, + round her neck; that white neck so sweetly familiar in his dreams. +</p> +<p> + After a time he wakes and yawns, and turns his head heavily towards + the window; and farther as the happy unconsciousness of sleep + recedes from his face, and recollection and intelligence come back + to it, more clearly show the haggard lines, traced all over it, of + self-repression, seaming and marking it at five-and-twenty. +</p> +<p> + "Another day to be got through," he thinks merely, as Nature's most + precious gift—the light—pours glowing through the panes. +</p> +<p> + When half-an-hour later he opens his door to take in his boots, he + finds two letters with them, and at the sight of one his heart + beats hard. +</p> +<p> + The other is in the girl's handwriting, and he lays it on his + toilet-table, with the thought, "Asking me to go and see her, I + suppose," and turns to the other with a mad impatience. +</p> +<p> + This is evidently the official letter with reference to his + post—the post that means to him but this one thing: her + possession. +</p> +<p> + He bursts it open, and in less than two seconds his eye takes in + its news: he has the appointment. +</p> +<p> + The blood leaps over his face, and an exultant fire runs through + his frame and along his veins. +</p> +<p> + He replaces the letter quietly in its cover with but the slightest + tremor of his fingers. +</p> +<p> + Then he gets up from the bedside and stands in the middle of the + room, looking through the sparkling panes. +</p> +<p> + "I have her!" he is thinking. "Yes, by God! at last I have her!" +</p> +<p> + The day is glorified; life is transfigured. +</p> +<p> + Through his whole body mounts that boundless exhilaration of desire + on the point of satisfaction. Not momentary desire, easily and + recently awakened, but the long desire that has been goaded and + baited to fury through weeks and months of repression, and tempered + to a terrible acuteness in pain and suffering, like steel by flame. +</p> +<p> + And now triumph, and a delight beyond expression, bounds like an + electrified pulse throughout all his strong, vigorous frame. +</p> +<p> + The lines seem to fade from his face, the mouth relaxes, and then + he laughs, as he makes a step towards the window, flings it open, + and leans out into the keen air. +</p> +<p> + "At last I can speak out decently. No one could think I cared for + her money, or any of that rot now. How unexpected!—this morning! + Now I can tell her I'm free, independent! I am glad I waited—it + was much better. Far better, as I said, to be patient. Last night I + almost—and now I'm very glad I didn't." +</p> +<p> + He draws his head back, and turns to the glass to shave with a + light heart. +</p> +<p> + As he does so, he sees her letter again, and picks it up. "You + darling!" he thinks, "I'll make you understand all now." +</p> +<p> + Some miles westward of the pier, some fathoms deep, out of reach of + the quiet sunlight lying on the surface, tosses the girl's body, + senseless and pulseless, with all the million possibilities of + pleasure that filled those keen nerves and supple limbs gone out of + them for ever, and Stephen draws out her despairing letter of + eternal farewell, with a smile lighting up his handsome, pleasing + face. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, it was much better to wait," he murmurs, "I don't approve of + rushing things!" +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0007"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + III +</h2> +<br> +<a name="2HCH0005"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + + +<h3> + CHAPTER I +</h3> +<p> + It was morning on the Blue Nile. The turbulent blue river rolled + joyously between its banks, for it was high Nile, and a swift, + light breeze was blowing—the companion of the Dawn. The vault of + the sky seemed arched at a great height above the earth, springing + clearly, without any object to break the line from the horizon of + gold sand, and full of those white, filmy, light-filled gleaming + clouds that are one of the wonders and glories of Upper Egypt and + the Soudan. It was a morning and a scene to make a man's heart rise + high in his breast, and cry out, as his eyes turned from the + level-sanded desert floor, through sunlit space, to the vaulted + roof, "After all, the world is a good house to live in." +</p> +<p> + Slowly the strong yellow sunlight poured over the plain, the bank + and the river, gilding every ripple; and, as the light grew, + hundreds of delicate shapes—the forms of the ibis and flamingo + and crane, and other river-fowl—became visible, crowding down the + dark banks, with flapping of white and crimson wings, and + stretching of legs, and opening of beaks, rustling down, shaking + their feathers, to bathe and drink of the Blue River. +</p> +<p> + Wonderful light, and miraculous, gleaming, cloud-filled sky, and + wonderful birds preening their plumage and calling to each other, + and wonderful breeze-swept water, bluer than the bluest depths of + the Indian Ocean. +</p> +<p> + It was still so early that, in the whole stretch of rollicking, + tumbling, buoyant waters between bank and bank, only one piece of + river-craft could be seen. This pushed onward, cleaving through the + little billows in the teeth of the morning breeze. It was a tiny + naphtha launch—a horrid, fussy, smoking little thing, cutting + through breeze and water, and diffusing a scent of oil and greased + iron in the pure and radiant air. A white bird on the bank looked + at it, and rose with a startled note of alarm, and a flight of + lovely-salmon-coloured colleagues followed. The others merely + looked up and paused, with their wings wide stretched, and then + went on calmly with their toilets—they had seen it before. +</p> +<p> + In the launch, of which the whole centre was taken by the + naphtha-stove—the engine by courtesy—sat a young Englishman, + whose face had that frank, attractive look of one whose thoughts + are kindly, well disposed to all the world; and at stem and stern + stood, erect and silent, the white-clothed figure of a boy from + the Soudan. Lithe, graceful forms supported long necks and + straight-featured faces, black as if carved out of smooth ebony, + and contrasting strangely with the white turbans of stiff linen + twisted deftly into a high crest above the brows. Swiftly the + little boat ran on for a mile or two against wind, with its three + silent and motionless occupants; then one boy turned, and + pronounced solemnly the two words, "Mister, Omdurman!" +</p> +<p> + This was accompanied with a gracious wave of his hand towards the + bank, as he leant forward to stop the engine, and his companion + turned the boat to land. +</p> +<p> + Omdurman, as seen from the river level, looks like nothing but a + long streak of duller yellow on the real gold of the African sand. + Its tiny, square, flat-roofed mud-houses are not, with few + exceptions, higher than six feet, and there is nothing else save + them and their dreary, yellow-brown, muddy monotony in the whole + village: not a palm, not a flower, not one blade of grass, simply a + collection of low mud-houses, with trampled mud-paths between, and + here and there an open, brown, dusty square. +</p> +<p> + The stillness and heat of the day were settling down now: the first + wild, cool youth of the morning was past, and the Englishman felt + the heat of the desert rise from the ground and strike his face, + like the blow of a flail, as he stepped on land. He expected the + Soudanese boys to follow, as they generally did on similar + excursions—one to secure the boat and sit and wait beside it, and + the other to accompany himself, carry his tripod and camera, and + act as guide and general escort. To-day the boy stood in the boat, + and addressed him earnestly: +</p> +<p> + "Boat wanted by other misters: let us go back: take them. We make + much money; come again evening, take you home." +</p> +<p> + "But, you young ruffians, what am I to do out here alone? I don't + know the way, and I want you to carry my things," expostulated the + Englishman, vainly trying to adjust a pair of blue goggles over his + eyes, smarting already in the intolerable glare from the sand, + while striving not to let drop his camera, fiercely cuddled under + one arm, and its tripod of steel legs and an overcoat balanced on + the other. +</p> +<p> + The black remained for a moment impassive, statuesque, wrapped in + reflection. Then he brightened: +</p> +<p> + "Me know," he said, suddenly springing from the boat. "Me take you + my house. Sister show you the way: sister carry mister's things." +</p> +<p> + The Englishman stared for a moment into the eager, intelligent + face, strangely handsome, though in ebony. After all, do we not + think a well-carved table beautiful, although sometimes, even + because, it is in ebony? Then <i>he</i> brightened: +</p> +<p> + "Very good; take me to your house, and let me see your sister," he + said good-humouredly; adding inwardly, "If she's anything like you, + she'll be the very thing for the camera." +</p> +<p> + They turned from the cool, rolling, billowy water inwards towards + the desert and the huts of Omdurman, and the heat rose up and + struck their cheeks each step they took. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + Merla stood that morning at her hut doorway looking out—out + towards the river she could not see, for the banks rise and the + desert falls slightly behind them. She stood on the threshold, and + the sun beat on her Eastern face, and showed it was very good. She + was sixteen, and, like her brothers who ran the naphtha launch for + the English, she was straight and erect, tall and lithe and supple, + with a wonderful stateliness and majesty of carriage, though she + had never been taught deportment nor attended physical culture + classes. Merla was beautiful, with the perfect beauty of line that + belongs to her race, and possessed the straight, high forehead, the + broad, calm brow that tells of its intelligence and nobility. She + knew, however, nothing of her own beauty. She never cared for + staring into the little squares of glass that the girls of the + village would buy in the market-place, nor coveted the long strings + of blue glass beads that the Bishareens brought in such numbers to + sell in Omdurman; nor did it specially please her to lay the beads + against her neck, and see them slide up and down on her smooth skin + as she breathed, though her companions would thus sit for hours + cross-legged before their little mirrors, breathing deep to note + how their beads rose and fell and glistened in the light. +</p> +<p> + Merla loved much better to steal out of the hut at night, when the + oil-lamp smoked against the mud wall and the air was heavy, into + the pure calm darkness of the desert, and gaze up at the stars, and + listen to the far-off tom-toms beating fitfully against the + stillness. And if ever any little coins came into her possession, + it seemed unkind to spend them on glass or beads when there was + always milk and oil needed in the house. And if, when these were + bought, there was any coin left, then her real luxury was to buy + food for the poor thin camel that lay at night in the mud-yard + behind their hut, and to go and feed it secretly in the starlight. + And she would press her hands into the soft fur of its neck as it + leant towards her, feeling that delight that springs from being + kind and loving, and being loved. The law of her life was love, a + law springing naturally in her mind, as the beauty and health in + her body. Her father, her mother, her brothers were all loved by + her; and, beyond these, the unfortunate camels and the donkeys + whose sides bled where the girths cut them as the careless + Englishmen rode them in and out of the village to and from the + Mahdi's tomb, and the lean, barking curs in the mud street that + seldom barked as she passed by. All these she loved and sympathised + with, though she had not been taught sympathy any more than she had + been taught grace. +</p> +<p> + This morning she was radiant and happy as she looked through the + quivering, yellow light that danced above the sand towards the + river. Last night she had fed the camel and caressed it, and she + had listened, half awe-struck, to the tom-toms in the distance. The + music had seemed to come to her ears with a new sound. The breeze + had blown from the river with a new kiss to her face. She was + growing into a woman, and the sap of life was rising fast and + vigorous within her, lifting her up with the boundless joy of life. + And as she looked, two white spots, a crested turban and a solar + topee, appeared over the edge of the bank, moving towards her. +</p> +<p> + "My sister!" said the Soudanese boy, with a regal air, when they + stood at the mudhouse door. And some instinct, as he was young and + foolish, made the Englishman drag off both goggles and solar topee + for a moment, and so Merla looked up and saw him with the sun + bright on his light Saxon hair and friendly blue eyes. +</p> +<p> + "Merla," went on the boy rapidly to his sister in his own tongue, + "this English mister from Khartoum must have a guide to Kerreree. I + go back to the boat: other Englishman want me. You go to Kerreree, + Show everything; carry black box for him—carry everything. Salaam, + Stanhope Mister." +</p> +<p> + And, without waiting for either assent or dissent, he swiftly, yet + without any loss of dignity or show of hurry, departed. Merla's + large eyes were downcast. She was a free woman, and came and went + unveiled, nor was it impossible for her to talk to the white + people, for her parents were poor and humble, and glad to make + piastres in any way they could. One of her sisters was a + water-carrier at the hotel in Khartoum, and she might be engaged + there also when she was older. But still she held her eyes down, + for she felt embarrassed and oppressed, and, besides, the topee and + the goggles had been replaced, and they spoilt the vision she had + seen first of the English face. +</p> +<p> + "Well, Merla, if that's your name, will you come with me?" the + Englishman said lightly. He knew the tongue well that her brothers + spoke, not in any of its refinement and subtlety, but in the + ordinary distorted way an Englishman usually speaks a foreign + tongue. +</p> +<p> + "I will ask if I may," she returned simply, in a low voice, and + drew back into the dark hut behind her. After a moment she + reappeared. "My mother and my brother have ordered it," she said + calmly. "I am ready." +</p> +<p> + Struck by the philosophic, impassive accent of her voice, and not + feeling at all flattered, the young man added in rather a nettled + tone: +</p> +<p> + "But I hope it's not disagreeable to you. You are willing to come?" +</p> +<p> + Then Merla looked at him steadily from under her calm, + widely-arching brows: "I am willing." A calm pride enwrapped all + her countenance, and it seemed as if she said it somewhat as a + victim might say, "I am willing," on being led to the altar of + sacrifice. Yet her eyes were radiant, and seemed to smile on him. +</p> +<p> + The young Englishman was puzzled, as young England mostly is by the + East, and, seeing this, the girl added, "Certainly I am willing; it + is fated I should go with you. Give me the black box." +</p> +<p> + But it goes against the grain of an Englishman to let a woman carry + his baggage, though he hires her to do it, and he held his camera + back from her. +</p> +<p> + "Take these," he said; "they are lighter," and he gave the little + tripod to her, and so they started down the mud sun-baked street + that leads through Omdurman to the desert, and out towards the + battle-ground of Kerreree. There were few people stirring; the men + had already started to their work in the fields by the Nile, or on + the river itself, and the women kept within the close darkness of + the huts mixing and baking meal for the evening's food. Merla + walked on swiftly and silently like a shadow at Stanhope's side + through the mud village, and then on into the silent heat of the + desert beyond. Here the fury of the sun was intense. The river was + out of sight, lying low between its banks. To infinite distance on + every side of them stretched the plain, and the soil here was not + golden sand, but curiously black, like powdered coal or lava. Not a + living thing moved near them; only, far away towards the horizon, + now and then passed a string of camels of some Bedouins travelling. + They walked on in silence. Stanhope found the walking heavy, as his + heeled boots sank into the loose, black soil, and it was difficult + to keep up with the swift, easy steps of the bare black feet beside + him. His duck suit was damp, and the line of flesh exposed between + cuff and glove on his wrist was burnt to a livid red already in the + smiting heat. Suddenly Merla's eyes fell on this, and she stopped. + Over her head she wore a loose veil of coarse white muslin. As she + stopped, she unwound this from her hair, and tore two strips from + it. Stanhope stopped too, well pleased at the pause. +</p> +<p> + "You burn your English skin; the flesh will come off," she said + gravely, and before he quite realised it, she had passed one of the + muslin strips round and tied it on his wrist. Stanhope's instinct + was to protest at once, but there was something in the girl's + earnestness and the tender interest with which she put the muslin + on his hand that checked him. Also the pain, whenever his sharp + cuff touched the seared skin, was unpleasant, and made him really + appreciate the improvised protection. +</p> +<p> + "Your pretty veil, Merla, you've torn it up for me," he remarked + regretfully as they started again. Merla glanced at him suddenly; + she said nothing, but the pride and joy in her eyes startled the + man beside her. He could find no more words, and silence fell + on them again till Merla roused him from a reverie by saying + indifferently: +</p> +<p> + "Look! that white heap there—bones, dead men, dead horses. This + side, white bones too; many dead here—many bones." +</p> +<p> + Stanhope looked round. Everywhere, scattered in heaps, shone the + white bones. They had come to the edge of the battlefield. Before + them rose the little hill of Teb-el-Surgham, crowned by its cairn + of black stones and rocks, surrounded by whitened bones and skulls, + from the summit of which the English watched the defeat of the + Khalifa's force. Stanhope cast his eyes over the dreary, black, + blood-soaked plain, on which there was no blade of grass, no plant, + no flower—only black rock and white bones, that shimmered together + in the torrid heat. +</p> +<p> + "Horrible! Merla, war is horrible! Come and sit down; I'm dead + tired. Let's sit down here against this rock and rest." +</p> +<p> + Stanhope threw himself down by one of the rocks at the base of the + hill, and leant back against it. The girl took her place on the + sand opposite him, with her feet tucked under her. Not far from + them lay a skull, turned upwards to the glaring sky. +</p> +<p> + "Will you let me photograph you?" he asked after a minute's gazing + at the rich dark beauty of the youthful face, "or is it against + your customs?" +</p> +<p> + "It is against our customs," Merla answered, her hands closing hard + on the tripod beside her. What terror it would mean for her to + stand before that great black box, and have that evil black eye + glare upon her for long seconds! She had seen her countrywomen flee + shrieking to their huts, when the Englishmen approached with their + black boxes. +</p> +<p> + "But you will do it for me, won't you?" answered Stanhope + persuasively, having set his heart on the picture. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I will do it for you; it is right, if you wish it," she + answered steadily. +</p> +<p> + Stanhope accepted at once such a convenient theory, and sprang up + to fix the tripod and the camera in order, and the girl sat still + on the sand watching him, cold with terror in the burning air. +</p> +<p> + "Now, pick up that skull and hold it out in your hand, so. Yes, + that's right. Now, stand a little further back. Yes, that's + perfect." +</p> +<p> + There was no difficulty in getting her to pose. The natural + attitudes of her race are all perfect poses. And Merla stood + erect, facing the camera, with the emblem of death in her hand. +</p> +<p> + "Thank you; I am very much obliged! That'll be a first-rate + picture," he said gratefully when he had finished, and Merla sat + down with a strange swimming feeling of joy rushing over her. + Stanhope was some time fussing with his camera, and putting it back + in its case out of the light. Then he wanted lunch, and drew forth + a sandwich-case and a wine-flask. The girl would only eat very + little, and would not taste the wine. Stanhope, who was very hungry + and thirsty, ate all his sandwiches and drank all the wine, and + began to feel very bright, refreshed, and exhilarated. +</p> +<p> + "Do you know you are very beautiful?" he remarked, as he stretched + himself comfortably in the shade of the rock and gazed at her, + seated sedately on the sand in front of him. +</p> +<p> + "Beautiful?" she repeated slowly, reflectively, "am I? The white + camel that lives down by the market square is beautiful, and so was + the Mahdi's tomb." +</p> +<p> + "Well, you are more beautiful even than the white camel or the + Mahdi's tomb," returned Stanhope, laughing. "And what do you think + of me?" he added curiously. "Where do I come in the list? somewhere + close after the white camel, I hope." +</p> +<p> + Then, as she gazed at him steadfastly, without replying at all, he + felt rather piqued, and took off his blue glasses and squared his + fine shoulders against the rock. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, you!" said the girl softly at last, "You are like nothing on + earth, lord! You are like the sun when he first comes over the + plain, or the moon at night, when it floats, white and shining, + through the blue spaces!" +</p> +<p> + She sat sedately still, but her breast heaved under the straight, + white tunic: her eyes were full of soft fire: her voice was low, + and quivered with enthusiasm. Stanhope flushed scarlet. Confused + and startled, he stared into her eyes, and so they sat, silent, + gazing at each other. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + That same afternoon there was a big fair or bazaar in the trampled + mud square in the centre of the Soudanese village that lies higher + up the river at the back of Khartoum. The place was gay with colour + and crowded with moving figures. From long distances, from far-off + villages down and up the river, the natives had come in, either to + sell or to buy along the wide, dusty road that went out from either + side of the square, leading each way north and south. The mud-huts + stood all round the square, backed by some date-palms, for Khartoum + and the village behind it are more favoured with shade than + sun-baked Omdurman. And in the centre of the square stood or sat + the natives, buying and selling, chaffering and gesticulating. Some + were Bishareens, with straight forms and features, and black bodies + almost covered with long strings and chains of beads. They stood + about gracefully to be admired, with their wooly hair fluffed out + at right angles to their head, for the occasion. Some were + corn-merchants, sitting leisurely before a heap of golden grain + piled up loosely on the ground. Others stood by patiently with + their fowls or goats or camels, feeding them with green fodder; and + others had vivid scarlet rugs and carpets of native make spread out + on the uneven ground. And all day long the noise of the merchants, + and the cry of the fowls, and the groan of the camels, and the + dust of the square, and the smoke of the cooking fires went up from + the bazaar. +</p> +<p> + In one corner of it, on a square of blue carpet, spread beneath his + camel's nose, sat a merchant who had been observed to come early to + the fair. He appeared to be a man of some substance, for he was + clothed, and the camel kneeling beside him was fat and sleek, and + would easily make two of the thin camels of Khartoum. Opposite him, + sitting on his heels and holding out two lean hands to tend the + small fire that smoked between them, was another, obviously poorer, + from his smaller amount of dress and flesh. +</p> +<p> + "It is true: your Merla is the pearl of the desert. I have heard it + from my mother," observed the merchant reflectively. "Still, think, + my brother, a good riding camel that can be hired out to the + Englishmen every day for thirty piastres the day; in a short time + you will feed on goat's flesh, and wear boots, with all that + money." +</p> +<p> + The black eyes of the listener sparkled, but he objected shrewdly + enough. +</p> +<p> + "My daughter eats not as much as a camel, and the English want not + a camel every day." +</p> +<p> + The stranger, fat and comfortable-looking, with a certain amount of + opulent Oriental good looks, waved his hand with a lordly gesture. +</p> +<p> + "Let it not be said that Balloon is an oppressor of the poor. Give + me the pearl, and this knife shall go with the camel, also this + piece of blue carpet—a noble offer, my brother; where will you + find such another?" +</p> +<p> + He drew from his crimson sash a longish knife, keen-bladed, with + trueblue, Eastern steel, and having a good bone-handle, on which + the fingers clasped easily. The other took the knife and gazed at + it intently. +</p> +<p> + "'Tis but a poor thing," he said at last, indifferently thrusting + it into the cloths twisted round his waist. "Yet the camel and the + carpet may suit me, and, as you say, you need not the girl at + present, I will agree, as I am a poor man, and the poor are ever + under the heel of the rich. The girl shall be sent to your house on + your return." +</p> +<p> + "I go now northwards, and shall return by the full moon; disappoint + me not, Krino or it shall be evil for you." +</p> +<p> + "I disappoint no man," replied Krino calmly, taking over from the + other the string of the camel, and the fine beast turned its dark, + soft head, and looked with liquid eyes on its new owner. +</p> +<p> + The sky began to show an orange and crimson glow behind the palms, + and many cooking-fires now gleamed like spots of blood upon the + sand, and the figures still came and went, and talked and bartered, + for the goods were not nearly all sold, and the heaps of fine corn + were still high in many places, and the fair would go on to-morrow + and the next day. But Krino got up and took his way homeward, + exulting over his bargain, and leading the camel. +</p> +<p> + At the same hour, lower down the Nile, at Omdurman, the river lay + calm now, without a ripple, and bathed in gold; a stream of liquid + gold it seemed, asleep between its deep-green banks, and only now + and then did a white-sailed felucca glide by in the golden evening + light. +</p> +<p> + Two figures came down from the desert to the Nile out of the flat, + heated air of the plain to the divine freshness by the water. + Here, in the cool, golden light, they paused slow and reluctant to + part. +</p> +<p> + "Good-night, Merla! Are you unhappy that I must go?" +</p> +<p> + The girl raised her face, and looked at him with steadfast eyes. +</p> +<p> + "The sun gilds the black rock, but the rock cannot expect the sun + to stay. I am quite happy. Good-night!" +</p> +<p> + Another moment and the little launch had sprung out from the deep + shadowed bank on to the golden surface, and was steaming, amidst + the gold and rosy ripples, back to Khartoum. +</p> +<p> + When Merla reached the little enclosure of stamped clay round her + hut, she saw a new camel feeding there, and cried out for joy. She + ran to it and clasped her hands about its velvet neck, and called + to her father, as he sat smoking at the doorway, a dozen questions. + Where had it come from? Whose was it? But the old man only chuckled + and laughed, and would not answer. +</p> +<p> + "No, no," he thought, watching her with pride, as she played round + the camel, "let the maiden wait to know the joy in store for her + till the full moon; she is but a child." +</p> +<p> + Stanhope went that night to a dance at the palace at Khartoum, but + he was late in arriving, and seemed very dull and absent-minded + when he came, and flattered the women less than usual. "He used to + be such a nice boy when he first came here," they complained + amongst themselves, "but he was quite horrid to-night—he must be + in love," and they all laughed, for every one knew there was no one + in Khartoum to fall in love with except themselves, and he had not + led any one of them to suppose she was the favoured one. +</p> +<a name="2HCH0006"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h3> + CHAPTER II +</h3> +<p> + The night was calm, and in the purple, star-filled sky the moon was + rising. It was at the full. The naphtha launch was on the river, + but it moved silently; current was with it, and the light airs + favourable, so there was no need of the engine; one single sail + carried the boat easily over the buoyant water. The stars and the + rising moon gleamed in the smooth, black ripples. Stanhope sat in + the boat thinking, wrapped in a cruel reverie. +</p> +<p> + He felt he had sailed the craft of his life too near the perilous + shore of unconventionality, and now he saw the rocks ahead of him + plainly, on which it would be torn in pieces. Yet how to turn back, + or move the helm to steer away from them? +</p> +<p> + "A month ago," he thought, as his eye caught the reflection of the + rising moon in the water, "when that moon was young, I was free. + Not a soul cared for me, whether I lived or died, and I cared for + no one." Now there was one, he knew, who lived upon his coming, + whose feet ran to meet him, whose eyes strained their vision to see + his first approach. And he, too; he was no longer free. His heart + went out to that other heart, beating for him alone so truly, so + faithfully, full of such unquestioning adoration and obedience, in + mud-walled sun-parched Omdurman. +</p> +<p> + When the launch touched the bank, he sprang out and walked swiftly + up to their usual meeting-place: the deserted mud enclosure of a + deserted hut—an unlovely meeting-place enough—but filled with the + sweet air of the desert night and the royal light of the stars. +</p> +<p> + "My lord looks weary to-night," said Merla softly, after they had + greeted each other, and had sat down side by side with their backs + to the low wall. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I am tired with thinking. What is to be the end of this, + Merla? Where is our love drifting us to?" +</p> +<p> + "Why does my lord concern himself with that? We are in the hands of + Fate." +</p> +<p> + Stanhope moved impatiently. +</p> +<p> + "Our fate is what we make it." +</p> +<p> + "It is not wise to enquire about our fate," replied Merla, and he + saw her face grow grave with resolution in the dim light. "But I + can tell you, if you like, what it will be: when you are ready, you + will go back to your own people, your own life, and you will be + very happy." +</p> +<p> + "And you—?" asked Stanhope in a whisper. +</p> +<p> + "I shall then have lived my life. I shall die and be buried out + there," and she motioned to the desert. "I shall have given my lord + happiness for a time: think what delight, what honour!" +</p> +<p> + Stanhope shuddered. +</p> +<p> + "Don't, don't, I can't bear to hear you; do you ask nothing for + yourself from life?" +</p> +<p> + "Life has given me all now," returned Merla, with a proud smile on + her face. +</p> +<p> + "Why should we not go home to my land together?" said Stanhope + passionately, in that sudden revolt against the laws of custom that + stirs all humanity at times. "Why should I not take you to live + with me for always to be my wife? who would forbid me?" +</p> +<p> + Merla shook her head, and pressed hard on his hand lying beside her + on the sand. +</p> +<p> + "The sun cannot lift the black rock from the desert and take it to + dwell in the blue spaces; neither can the sun stay with the rock. + You are grieving for me; do not. I am quite happy. I accept what + must be. My life ends when you go." +</p> +<p> + For a wild moment it seemed to Stanhope that he must dare + everything and take her. After all, she was intelligent: she could + be educated. She was beautiful, youthful; and what a love she + poured out at his feet!—different in calibre, in nature, + different, from its root up, from any love he could hope to find + again—a love that asked absolutely nothing for itself, not even + the right to live, and yet would give its all unquestioningly, + unsparingly. It is not a toy to be thrown away lightly, and + Stanhope realised this. +</p> +<p> + "The blue spaces are cold and empty, Merla," he said, suddenly + catching her to his breast. "You must come with me." +</p> +<p> + "No, lord, it is impossible; you speak only for me," whispered + Merla, though she clasped his neck tightly. "You must go and live + happy, and I shall die happy; even in my grave I shall remember + your kisses." +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + An hour later, the moon was well up in the sky, though the light + was not yet brilliant, and they parted by the wall of the + cattle-byre with promises to meet on the morrow, and he turned and + left her standing in the shadow; but some instinct moved him, and + he returned and kissed her yet again, and said one more farewell; + then he took the narrow track leading down to the river, and Merla + knew that she must hasten home; for her father, who had been out in + the early evening, would be returning. Before she left she turned + back once more into the byre, and stood looking at the stars that + she had communed with so often: a great sadness fell on her + thoughts, a chill as after a final parting. As she turned to go, + her eyes fell on a grey patch on the byre floor—his coat! He had + left it behind. Merla gave a little laugh as she picked it up: the + parting seemed less final now. She would keep it till the morrow. + Would he want it? miss it? No, the night was so still and sultry; + and, throwing it over her arm, she passed onwards to her hut. +</p> +<p> + As she neared the enclosure, her heart beat rapidly. A light was + burning within the hut, and by the moonlight she saw the great + camel moving restlessly in the narrow space outside. Angry voices + reached her in sharp discussion—her father's and another. Just + inside the enclosure she paused and listened, trembling, uncertain + what this unusual clamour and strange voice might mean. +</p> +<p> + "I gave you my camel, my knife, and my carpet. Where is the Pearl I + was promised? Is not the moon at the full?" +</p> +<p> + Merla heard these words with a thrill passing through every fibre. + She knew her father had no pearl in his possession, but was not + her name "Pearl of the Desert"? Next there came some confused + murmur—seemingly words of apology—in her father's voice that she + could not catch, but the stranger interrupted angrily: +</p> +<p> + "Unhappy man! tricked seller, tricked buyer, would you know where + the Pearl is? would you know where your daughter hides? I have + heard that she has been seen with a stranger, a white-faced + stranger—I know not if he be a leper or an Englishman—" with a + bitter laugh, "but in either case I want her not. Come, give me my + knife, and I lead off my camel." +</p> +<p> + Merla's heart failed, for her father gave a shriek as he heard the + accusation, and a shower of oaths and imprecations came to her + shrinking ears. Nothing was clear any more; there was only clamour + and raving in the hut. But once she caught the words, "to the + river—does he go to the river?" and above all the storm of words + there was the awful sound of the sharpening of a knife. +</p> +<p> + Like a shadow, noiseless and silent, Merla crept swiftly, under the + shade of the camel's body, across the enclosure to the mud + partition behind which her youngest brother slept, and roused him. + "Nungoon!" she said breathlessly, gripping his shoulder, "take the + track to the river, and run for your life. You will overtake the + Englishman. Tell him this. 'Merla says: Run to the launch and get + off the land quickly, and never come back to Omdurman, or come with + a guard. They seek to kill you here.' Go, brother; run!" +</p> +<p> + The boy, startled from his sleep, gathered himself together and + rose. His sister, leaning over him with ashy face and fixed eyes, + seemed like Fate itself directing him. Moreover, Oriental youth is + accustomed to obey unquestioningly. Without a word, simply with a + sign of assent, he fled out of the enclosure, down the track to the + river. +</p> +<p> + Merla stepped back and out of the yard, and stood waiting, silent + as before; she had formed her resolution, and all fear was past. + The mats in front of the door were suddenly pushed aside, and a + streak of light fell across the yard, but it could not touch her, + sheltered by the wall. She saw her father rush out, wild-eyed, and + the long blade of the knife gleamed blue in the moonlight. +</p> +<p> + Then, as he dashed through the enclosure entrance, she moved her + feet suddenly, scraping the sand, and then fled, wrapped in + Stanhope's long light overcoat, up towards the desert, away from + the river. Krino, blinded, maddened by passion, glanced at the wall + whence came the scraping sound, and then, catching sight of a + flying form in English dress, plunged with a cry of triumph after + it. Merla fled like the wind along in the shadow of the wall, + keeping in the darkness, with her head down, fearing lest her bare + head or bare feet might betray her. But Krino's eyes were fixed on + the silvery grey of the English overcoat, and, blind to all else, + he raced on in the uncertain light with his eyes intent on the + shoulders between which he would plunge his knife. Up through the + heart of sleeping Omdurman, past silent huts and yellow walls that + gleamed pale in the moonlight, through the village to the desert, + hunted and hunter fled on, and Krino's heart rose in savage + triumph. +</p> +<p> + "Fool! he cannot escape me now; by the river—yes, but not in the + desert; he cannot escape." +</p> +<p> + And the desert was reached and entered, and still the two noiseless + shadows fled over the sand. +</p> +<p> + Merla's strength was failing: her sight was reeling; she could run + no more. Only the joy of knowing that each step led the enemy + farther from her loved one had supported her till now. Now he was + safe, he must be away on the friendly river. There had been ample + time. Not now would it be possible for Krino to reach the river + before her lover had embarked. It was well. All was well! And the + black sand spun round her in the moonlight, as she heard the hiss + of her father's breath behind her. She wavered. With a bound the + man threw himself forward. One stab, and the keen blade sank + through the flesh below the shoulder, driving her forward, and she + fell face downwards on the sand. +</p> +<p> + Blind still with fury, the Soudanese bent down, tore at the head to + drag it back that he might slash it from the body, and turned up + the face to the moonlight. Fixed in agony and triumph, it looked + back at him—the dead face of his daughter, the P<small>EARL OF THE</small> D<small>ESERT</small>. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0010"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + IV +</h2> +<br> +<p> + The last flare of the sunset was falling on the walls of Jerusalem, + staining them crimson, and flooding all the enchanting circle of + the hills that lie round the city with rosy light. Low down in one + of the depressions, where the long sun-rays could not reach, and + the olive-trees looked grey in the twilight, stood the grim, white + Monastery of the Holy Virgin. The air was sweet and cool here, far + from the pollution of the city, and the evening sky stretched fair + and radiant above the purple hills. Unbroken quiet reigned, and + only one thing in the landscape moved—the figure of a girl + ascending swiftly a narrow, stony road under the shadow of the + wall. She seemed burdened with many things that she was carrying, + and oppressed with some haunting fear, for she looked back + frequently, and then pressed on with redoubled speed. The stony + track brought her at last to the corner of the enclosure of + olive-trees belonging to the monastery; it branched here, one path + leading straight to the gates of the building, the other skirting + the olive-wood plantation, and then passing on out into the barren + hills and open country towards Jericho. The girl took the second + track, and here, under the friendly shade of the sheltering trees, + she walked more erect and easily. When she reached the farther + corner of the plantation she stopped and listened, gazing round + her. There was no sound, the light was failing, the hush deepening. + "Nicholas," she breathed in a clear whisper, leaning on the low + stone plantation wall, "are you there?" A rustling of some long + robe against bushes answered her—the olive branches were pushed + aside, and the figure of a Greek priest came from between them. + With a smile of intense joy on his face he leant over the wall, and + clasped the girl's two soft hands in his. +</p> +<p> + "Esther!" he whispered back, "you have come; you have decided then, + you are ready?" +</p> +<p> + "I am quite ready," answered the girl, pressing close to the wall + and lifting her face; the last gleam of gold light from the rising + ridge to the west touched it, and showed it was very fair. "If you + are sure it is right, if you have faith in Jehovah to lead us." +</p> +<p> + The priest's face, pale and emaciated, with the rapt look of the + visionary stamped upon it, lighted up suddenly with a new + exaltation. +</p> +<p> + "I am quite sure. Last night when I was praying, still in doubt, + before the great crucifix, I heard a voice from above saying: + 'Nicholas, you are absolved from further prayer and penance here. + Go forth with the maiden you love and serve Me in the world. The + joy of human hearts singing to Me in grateful praise is more + pleasing to Me than these groans and tears and prayers. I have + created the blue sky and the laughing seas and the green hills; go + forth and see my works, and praise Me.'" +</p> +<p> + The Jewish girl had listened intently, her face as rapt as his + while he spoke, the fire of joy glowing in her eyes. +</p> +<p> + "Come, then, at once," she murmured in an ardent whisper, and + Nicholas stepped over the low boundary into the hill road, now + wrapped in darkness. Before them still glimmered dimly the white + outlines of the monastery behind the trees. The man stood + motionless, gazing at them, the girl's hand tightly clasped in his + and held against his breast. +</p> +<p> + "The agony, the misery I have suffered behind those walls," he + muttered, "for sixteen years!" +</p> +<p> + "It is over," murmured the girl; "come away to the hills; we have + no time to lose." +</p> +<p> + She stooped to gather up the objects in the road. "I have brought + you these things," she said confusedly, hardly audibly. "Change + into them quickly, and then follow me up the road. No, I will take + all the rest," she added, as he took the bundle of clothing she + gave him and stretched out his hand for the other smaller things. + "Hasten, Nicholas, it is so dangerous here!" With this parting + entreaty she went on up the road carrying the bundles. +</p> +<p> + After she had gone a little way she paused and listened—all was + quite still—the stars now showed fitfully in the deepening purple + of the sky, a little breeze blew gently up from the wilderness + towards Jerusalem. The girl sat down by the wall, with her back + against it, and her hands clasped round her knees. Her face had a + strange, wonderful beauty as she sat waiting, white-skinned and + softly-moulded, with resolute, dark eyebrows drawn straight across + the calm forehead. A few moments passed, and then Nicholas + approached; his flowing priest's robes were gone, the high, + straight, black hat of the order was no longer on his head: it was + bare, and the long uncut hair, as the Greeks wear it, was twisted + in two thick fair coils round his head. Esther sprang up, + untwisting a broad sash from her waist. +</p> +<p> + "Take this! No wait! let me twist it round your head—yes, so. Now + it looks like a Jewish turban. You have the robe and the hat with + you?—yes, bring them, bring them," and they hurried on, fleeing + away from the monastery. Esther knew a short track across the hills + which in a little while joins the great main road to Jericho, that + descends down and down through the bare rolling hills of the + wilderness to the fair plain of the Jordan and the shores of the + Dead Sea. For the first few miles they sped on in silence with + clasped hands, the night wind rushing against their faces, and no + sound coming to their ears but the occasional whine of the hungry + hyenas, prowling over the stony, starlit hills. In the man's breast + swelled an exaltation beyond all words: it lifted him up so, that + his feet seemed flying over the rugged ground without touching it; + the night-wind filled his veins with fire: his brain seemed alight + and glowing. For years past the bare stone walls of his monk's cell + had given him pictures painted by his fevered fancy of such a walk + as this through starlit, open spaces—a walk to life and freedom. + For years his hot, caged feet had paced the stone cell floor, + aching to pass the threshold; and for the last month ever since + from amongst the olive-trees he had seen the fair Jewish girl pass + by, a new vision had come upon those white-washed walls to add its + torture to the rest. Evening after evening he had stolen out at + sunset to see her pass, as she came and went from the little + cluster of Jewish houses on the ridge beyond the monastery and + watched the sunlight play upon her brows and hair. Could this + thing, so divinely beautiful, be the creation of the devil to + destroy men's souls? His reason revolted against it. If so, the + warm sunlight and radiant sky and air, the flowers and the purple + hills, his weary eyes strained out to must be also the devil's + work, for all these things were akin, and the woman passing amongst + them was but the masterpiece made by the same hand. +</p> +<p> + "Say," he had said wearily, one night, to a monk passing him like a + silent shadow on his way to his cell. "Is all the world the work of + the devil?" +</p> +<p> + "Nay, brother, what blasphemy!" returned the other, startled beyond + measure. "It is all the work of God" and Nicholas had passed into + his cell well pleased. And the next evening he had called softly to + the masterpiece of the Creator, as she went by, and the girl, + startled and fearful at first, had spoken a few words out of sheer + pity for the hungry, lonely soul looking out so wistfully at her; + and then how soon had come other meetings, the plan to escape—that + final vision which had seemed to justify him,—and now the flight! +</p> +<p> + "Will the boat be there! will they wait for us?" he asked eagerly, + as they walked swiftly on. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I heard the boat was coming over from the Jewish Colony + beyond the Dead Sea, and I sent word down it was to take me in it + when it left again," the girl replied, "We shall get down there + to-morrow evening; we will go to old Solomon's house; he will let + us stay with him one night, and in the morning we must get down to + the shore and the boat." +</p> +<p> + Nicholas pressed her hand as they walked on. How wise she was, this + little Jewish girl! She had lived her short life in the world, and + knew her way about in it so well. And he, so much older, felt like + a child beside her, after all those long, deadening, numbing years + in the monastery. +</p> +<p> + Five miles more of the white, stony road were traversed, winding in + and out, but always descending between the barren desolate hills of + the wilderness, and then Esther said with a little sob in her + voice: +</p> +<p> + "We must stop here now and rest, I am so tired. I cannot go any + further to-night." +</p> +<p> + "Tired?" he echoed wonderingly. Could he ever feel tired now? His + feet seemed borne on wings. But he stopped, and bending over her, + lifted and carried her tenderly from the starlit road to a large + rock jutting out from the hillside. Here, in the shadow on the + farther side, they lay down, and the girl fell at once into the + deep sleep of utter bodily fatigue. The man lay open-eyed clasping + her to him, his brain on fire with freedom, listening with joy to + the cries of the wandering wild animals amongst the hills. +</p> +<p> + The following evening, late, they reached the plain. The wilderness + lay behind them, and in front, beyond the green darkness of the + trees, they knew the starlight was gleaming on the Dead Sea. The + heat down here was suffocating, and their weary feet moved on + slowly through the village—a collection of a few white flat-roofed + houses, which are all that now mark the spot where stood once the + rich, mighty city of Jericho. In the last house shone a light, and + Esther led Nicholas towards it. +</p> +<p> + Solomon was waiting for them, and had prepared for them his best + upper room—a little narrow apartment, with windows facing towards + the sea—where supper was laid, and opening from this a tiny + sleeping chamber. A swinging lamp hung over the centre table, and + Solomon's younger brother waited on them. Esther, with the dust of + the road washed from her skin, looked very fair, sitting under the + light of the lamp, her eyes glowing with the mysterious fires of + love and joy, and the two Jews sat listening to her eagerly as she + talked to them, telling them the news of her family and friends in + Jerusalem. +</p> +<p> + "If I could only go up to the city," sighed the younger man. "But I + cannot walk, and I have no horse," and he grew sullen and dejected + and said no more, while the elder continued to ask and be answered + a hundred questions about the life and doings of the city. +</p> +<p> + That night, past midnight, when the whole plain of Jericho lay + wrapped in a deep hush, and not one light gleamed in the darkness + of the village, a carriage drawn by two foam-covered horses + thundered down the last steep descent of the road from Jerusalem + into the village, and dashed through it straight to Solomon's + dwelling. Esther, asleep in the upper room, with Nicholas' head + pillowed on her shoulder, heard the clatter of wheels and awoke + suddenly, all her body growing rigid with terror. +</p> +<p> + "Nicholas, awake! they have followed us!" She sprang from the bed, + and opening the window noiselessly, looked out. The night was quite + dark, but by straining her eyes she could descry the form of a + covered carriage below, and two dark figures stood hammering on the + house-door. The sounds rang reverberating through the dwelling, and + disturbing the still, calm air without, laden with the scent of + myrtle and orange-flower. A window above opened, and the old Jew + looked out. +</p> +<p> + "Who knocks?" he called. +</p> +<p> + "Priests from Jerusalem, from the Monastery of the Holy Virgin. One + whom we seek is within; let us enter." Esther drew back into the + room, and saw Nicholas standing behind her, his face haggard with + despair. "Jehovah, then, is not with us." +</p> +<p> + Esther pressed his hand. +</p> +<p> + "Esther is with you," she murmured softly. "You shall not go back, + they shall not touch you. Give me your priest's clothing, and stay + here." +</p> +<p> + Before he could answer she had snatched up the garments and was + gone, fastening the door behind her. Outside on the stairway she + met old Solomon, coming slowly down to answer the imperative + summons from below. +</p> +<p> + "Delay all you can in admitting them," she whispered, then ran past + him, fleet of foot, up the stairs to the Jews' room—the door stood + open as Solomon had left it. She entered, and stood within in the + darkness. +</p> +<p> + "Hiram," she called softly, "you wished to go up to Jerusalem. Now + is your opportunity. Get up, put on these things, and the priests + will take you back in their carriage." She heard the man rise and + bound to the floor. +</p> +<p> + "Is that you, Esther? Have they sent from the monastery to take + Nicholas?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes," returned Esther in an agonised voice. "But you will not let + them take him? See, Hiram, they cannot hurt you; they will not + recognise you, nor suspect you here in the darkness, in the dress + of Nicholas. You need not speak. They will hasten you into the + carriage. To-morrow when they discover you, it will be too late for + them to overtake us. We shall be gone, and <i>you</i> they will not + want. They cannot put you in their monastery. They must release + you, and you—will be at the gates of Jerusalem." +</p> +<p> + Her low voice, thrilled with her agony of fear and suspense: there + was the very soul of persuasion in it. As she pleaded in the + darkness, she heard the man breathing quickly, and shuffling his + feet on the floor. He was hesitating. He longed to go up to the + city, but this seemed a dangerous expedient. Yet it would serve + Esther, and she was very fair, and was of his own kindred. There + was a noise and clamour downstairs beneath them—the sound of the + slow unbarring of bolts, and angry voices without. Esther drew + nearer, and her voice grew sharp with fear: +</p> +<p> + "Hiram, as they are pushing you to the carriage, I will throw + myself into your arms, and you shall kiss me your last farewell, as + if you were Nicholas." +</p> +<p> + In the darkness she felt that the man stretched out his hand. +</p> +<p> + "Give me the clothes; I will go." +</p> +<p> + Esther threw them into his arms, and darted out, closing the door, + and hung over the stair-rail. There was no light, but she could + hear the heavy footsteps coming up. Nearer they came, and nearer, + stumbling, and Solomon's step behind, as he followed the priests, + grumbling and protesting. Now they were almost opposite the door of + the room where Nicholas crouched waiting. +</p> +<p> + "He is not here! he is not here!" wailed out Esther's voice + suddenly from above, and the priests hearing her, rushed up the + stairs to where she stood, passing by, forgotten, the door of the + lower room. +</p> +<p> + Rigid and tense she stood before the door as if guarding it, her + arms outstretched before it. The first priest pushed her roughly on + one side, the second opened the door, and beyond, dimly outlined + against the open window square, was visible the draped figure and + heavy hat of a priest. With a shout of triumph they darted forward, + and Esther gave a great cry of wild despair. The priests dragged + him out unresisting, and forced him down the stairs. No word came + from him. Solomon, leaning back against the wall to let them pass, + stretched out his hand to the weeping Esther; but she passed him, + crying and hurrying after her lover. Down in the passage the large + door stood wide, showing the waiting carriage in the dim starlight + of the sultry night. As they pushed him to the door, he suddenly + wrested himself free for an instant, and Esther rushed into his + arms. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, Nicholas, Nicholas! Good-bye!" +</p> +<p> + The priests seized her by the shoulder, wrenching her away, and one + hurled her with a fury of loathing back into the darkness of the + passage. Then they forced their prisoner forward, stumbling, + resisting, to the carriage. The door snapped to, the horses plunged + forward, and the carriage thundered away into the night. Esther + picked herself up from where she had fallen in the passage, and + bruised and trembling, but with a joyous smile, rushed up the + narrow stairway. +</p> +<p> + "Solomon!" she said, whispering in the old Jew's ear, "Hiram has + gone in the place of Nicholas! Nicholas is safe here. Oh, help us + to get to the sea!" +</p> +<p> + Solomon shook with laughter as he heard—for a Jew loves dearly a + clever ruse—and he stroked Esther's soft hair as she stood by him. +</p> +<p> + "Light us a lamp, and let us get away to the shore, that we can + embark and be away on the water at dawn, before they discover it + and return," Then she passed by him and entered the room where + Nicholas awaited her. Solomon trimmed a lamp and a lantern for + them, and put up some bread and meat for their journey, his + shoulders shaking with inward chuckles as he did so. +</p> +<p> + "Hiram a priest!" he repeated to himself; "that is a joke indeed, + and Esther, what a quick brain she has—a true daughter of Israel!" + and Esther was murmuring within to Nicholas: +</p> +<p> + "Jehovah has saved us. Now let us hasten down to the sea." +</p> +<p> + The next morning, when the dawn broke soft and rosy over the fair + plain of Jericho, the sea that is called the Dead Sea, yet seems, + in its glorious wealth of colour and sparkling brilliance to be + rather the emblem of Life, glowed and flashed like a huge sapphire + in the sun's rays, and at its calm edge, that meets the shore + without a ripple, swayed gently the ship of the pilgrims from the + Jewish Colony. +</p> +<p> + Nicholas and Esther sat side by side watching the pilgrims' oars + dip quietly in perfect rhythm as they sang. And the song of praise + went up through the golden air, and echoed back to the sunny, + silent strand vanishing behind them. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0011"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + V +</h2> +<br> +<p> + Dawn was breaking over the desert. Steadily the triumphant rose + spread upward in the pale opalescent sky, and broad waves of light + rippled slowly over the wide level plain. The little keen breeze of + the morning, the herald of the dawn that runs ever in front of its + chariot, stirred the branches of the palm trees by the Nile, and + played a moment idly with the flap of a tent door before it passed + onward. Here, some two miles away from cool Assouan, lying out in + the desert, was the Bishâreen encampment, and the last small tent + of the long line had its door open, and the flap of the awning + loose, with which the morning wind stopped to play. +</p> +<p> + Within, seated cross-legged on the scarlet rug and sheepskin which + formed their bed, were two girls braiding their hair before a tiny + square of glass, which each in turn held up for the other. +</p> +<p> + "How cold the morning is! How I hate to hear the wind shake the + door flaps," one said and shivered. +</p> +<p> + "Doolga, don't; you are holding the glass all crooked; I cannot see + myself. Why should you feel cold this morning of all others, when + Sheik Ilbrahim dar Awaz is coming to claim you?" returned the + other, and she laughed softly, with her slim fingers busy trying to + bind up and restrain her dusky cloud of hair. +</p> +<p> + How lovely she was, this young Bishâreen, who had looked on the + yearly fall of the Nile but fifteen times—lovely as the tall + slender palm of the oasis, or the gold light on the river at + sunset. Tall and straight, with the stately carriage and proud head + of her race; smooth and supple, with every limb faultlessly moulded + under the clear, lustrous skin. +</p> +<p> + "Silka, Silka! I cannot marry the Sheik. I am in terror of him. + Help me, save me!" +</p> +<p> + The little glass fell on the blanket between them. In the warm rose + glow now filling the tent, Doolga's face was ashen-coloured. + Awe-struck and startled Silka gazed wide-eyed upon her. For an + instant the two girls sat staring in silence into each other's + eyes. So much alike they were that one face seemed the reflection + of the other, only there was a bloom, a light, a sweetness on + Silka's that was missing in the other. +</p> +<p> + "Why?" she breathed after that first startled silence, "what is the + matter, Doolga? Tell me; tell me everything." +</p> +<p> + She drew nearer her sister, and put one arm round her. The pink + light from without, striking through the tent canvas, touched her + face, showing its delicately-cut, exquisite features and the tender + love filling the eyes. +</p> +<p> + "I hate the Sheik!" sobbed Doolga, putting down her head on the + other's soft bare shoulder; "I don't want him. I love <i>him</i>!" +</p> +<p> + And Silka felt that everything indeed was told. The incoherent, + inexplicable words were clear enough to her. She trembled all over, + and the two girls clung together in the little tent, while the + noise of a large encampment awakening grew about them outside. +</p> +<p> + Suddenly Doolga grew calm; she lifted her face, and Silka saw it + was grey, with great lines of anguish cut in it, and her heart + seemed to contract with pain, for she loved Doolga better than + anything she knew in the world, and Doolga's suffering was her + suffering. +</p> +<p> + "I thought, father thought you would be glad to marry the Sheik," + she faltered. +</p> +<p> + "I cannot. I will throw myself into the Nile rather; Silka, help + me!" +</p> +<p> + "How can I?" +</p> +<p> + "<i>You</i> marry the Sheik!" Doolga's eyes were alight with flame. + Something of the tiger's glare shone in them. She bent forward and + seized the other girl's wrists in a feverish grip. The clasp hurt + and burnt like fire. Silka drew back instinctively, paling with + surprise. +</p> +<p> + "I marry the Sheik?" she repeated, "but—" +</p> +<p> + "Yes, you <i>must</i>! Oh, Silka, you have always loved me: save me now. + I cannot. It will be death to me. I love—I love—" she hesitated; + then added, "so much. You love no one. Why not then the Sheik? Do + this for me. I will think of you, bless you always. Save me from + death; save me from the Nile!" +</p> +<p> + The burning words, uttered low, in that strange, strained voice she + hardly recognised, fell upon Silka like drops of molten lead. Her + sister seemed mad: her eyes started forward from her livid face: + her clasp on Silka's wrists gripped like iron. Silka's heart was + overwhelmed with pity and distress. +</p> +<p> + "How can I?" she murmured back, bewildered by the sudden revelation + of misery in the other—this other that had grown up with her, + played with her, slept with her side by side through the soft, hot + nights when they had lain counting the stars through a chink in the + tent. Side by side their bodies had nestled together, and side by + side their hearts had always been. +</p> +<p> + "You have but to unveil your face to the Sheik," returned the other + quickly, eagerly, almost furiously, "and he will take you instead + of me. Think, Silka! the head of the tribe, fifty camels, a + thousand goats—" She stopped in her eager outpour of persuasion. + Silka was looking at her straight from under her dark, level brows, + her lips curled in a sorrowful disdain. +</p> +<p> + "Have his riches any weight with you, Doolga? Why do you offer them + to me?" she said proudly. +</p> +<p> + "Because you are free: you do not love," impetuously returned the + other with glib, persistent vehemence. "I would marry the Sheik, I + would prize his flocks, his riches; but I love—I love—I cannot!" +</p> +<p> + "Whom do you love so much?" replied Silka sadly. "Why have you not + told me? Who is he?" +</p> +<p> + The girls were seated on the bed in one corner of the tent close + beside its stretched canvas wall. There was a little eyelet, a + square hole with a flap buttoned down over it, on a level with + their heads. At Silka's question Doolga turned to the canvas, and, + with an impatient movement, tore up the flap and looked out. The + plain was bathed in gold: above, the pure, pink glow still hung in + the limpid sky. The encampment was astir. The tents were open, and + little cooking fires, sending up their spirals of blue smoke were + dotted over the sand. At a few paces' distance from the main row of + tents, the camels, lying down, made a velvet-like patch of shade on + the gleaming gold of the sand, and herds of white goats stood near, + their silky coats flashing in the morning sunlight. Silka looked + out, too, over her sister's shoulder. She saw the burnished gold of + the plain and the luminous sky, and between these two a figure + that stood by a low brown tent, with the sunlight falling full on + its noble brow and the straight profile turned towards them. Doolga + wrung Silka's hand, that she still clutched, as they knelt side by + side on the sheepskin looking through the eyelet. +</p> +<p> + "That is he!" she said, and Silka's lips parted suddenly in a + little scream of pain. +</p> +<p> + "What is the matter?" asked Doolga roughly, drawing her back from + the aperture, and letting the flap fall. +</p> +<p> + "You hurt me," replied Silka. "Is that the one you love?" Her voice + sounded tremulous: her eyes, fixed on Doolga, seemed to widen with + increasing pain. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, that is he; that is Melun," answered Doolga softly. "Is he + not handsome, wonderful? Why do you stare so? Might not any girl + love him?" +</p> +<p> + A little smile played round Silka's lips. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, indeed, any girl might love him," she answered. +</p> +<p> + "But not as I do—no, never! Oh, Silka, I cannot tell you how I + love him. More than the Nile, more than the stars, more than we + have ever loved each other! I have met him often when I went to + draw water, and sometimes we have stayed together in the + palm-grove. I was so happy till father sold me to the Sheik; and + now I must part from Melun for ever! Do not make me, dear, darling + Silka; do not send me to the Nile!" She spoke with increasing + excitement, with passionate intensity. She was close to Silka, and + she laid one arm softly round her neck and put her face close to + hers. Such a beautiful oval face it was!—the face that Silka + loved: as she looked at it, her heart melted within her. +</p> +<p> + "See, dearest Silka," continued the other coaxingly, "you have + nothing to do but to unveil before the Sheik; you are just like me, + only a thousand times lovelier. He will not want me then, but you. + You can say to our father: As I am fairer than my sister, he will + give you two more camels. Father will be pleased with the camels, + and I shall be left free to marry Melun." +</p> +<p> + "But suppose I don't want to marry the Sheik either," said Silka, + slowly stroking the curls of the sheepskin as she looked down upon + it. +</p> +<p> + "But why should you not? he has flocks and herds; he will give you + necklets and bracelets, and a camel to ride, and take you to the + oasis? Why should you mind?" +</p> +<p> + "It is late, Doolga. Father will be returning soon. Go, fill your + urns at the well." +</p> +<p> + "But will you promise—?" +</p> +<p> + "I can promise nothing yet. Go, go, leave me, you must let me think + a little." +</p> +<p> + Doolga got up well satisfied. She knew Silka had never refused her + anything since they had first played as babies together in the + sand. Silka loved her. Silka had never denied her anything. +</p> +<p> + She took her large earthenware jar, poised it on her shoulder, and + went out of the tent into the hot light. Silka lay on the sheepskin + where her sister had left her, and turned her face to it, shaken + with a storm of feeling that convulsed her slender body from head + to foot. She heard none of the cheerful sounds of life stirring + round the tent; she heard only Doolga's threat of the Nile, her + passionate pleading for help. Her face was buried in the sheepskin, + yet she saw plainly in the wall of darkness before her eyeballs + the figure of the Bishâreen standing out against the pink light of + the morning sky. So it was Melun that Doolga loved! And to Melun + all her own passionate impulsive heart had been given through her + eyes. Had she not, morning after morning, gazed out through the + square eyelet to catch a glimpse of him as he came from his tent, + dressed in his snowy white linen tunic, and with countless strings + of coloured beads twisted round the firm column of his throat and + hanging from his arms? Melun, the necklace-seller of Assouan! + Melun, that the foreign tourists stopped to gaze after, as he + walked with slow and stately steps beneath the lebek trees on the + "boulvard" by the Nile. Young and straight and slender, with a + beautiful face and form, he never offered his wares for sale. He + simply stood and looked at the tourists, and they came and bought + largely. They came up to him with curious eyes to chaffer for his + blue-glass beads, and stare at his smooth, perfectly-moulded arms + and throat, at the wonderfully straight features, and the lofty + carriage of his head, at the thick hair, like fine, black wool, + that waved above his forehead and clustered round the nape of his + neck, interwoven with his brilliant blue beads. Ah! how she loved + Melun! how she had dreamed of the day when her elder sister, + happily married, she herself could go to her father and say, "Let + Melun, the necklace-seller, come to the tent and see my face." And + now, not for him, but for the old hard-visaged Sheik, she was asked + to unveil. "I cannot do it; no, I cannot," she muttered to herself, + and the thought of Melun came to her softly. "I have but to look at + him, and he must love me; he is mine." Did not her mirror tell her + this each morning? Had not her sister but now said the same? She + smiled to herself, and balm seemed poured through her. Then there + came another thought piercing her like a dagger. Melun is not mine, + but hers. She loves him; he loves her. They have met in the + palm-grove. Never, never, could she unveil for him now. He must + never see her. Though he loved her a thousand times, yet would + she never take him from Doolga. Doolga, bright, graceful, and + beautiful, the light of her eyes, the joy of the tent! could she + bear to see her brought through the door cold, motionless, + lifeless, killed by the embrace of the Nile? +</p> +<p> + When Doolga returned with the flush of warmth on her cheek and the + jar full of shimmering water on her shoulder, Silka was sitting + upright on the bed with dry, wide eyes. One glance at her told + Doolga that she herself was free, that the other would take up her + burden and bear it for her. She crossed over with a quick beautiful + movement, lithe, free, untamed. +</p> +<p> + "Darling Silka, you will consent? you will promise?" +</p> +<p> + "Do you meet him often in the palm-grove?" returned Silka; it was + now her eyes that were full of flame as she met her sister's. +</p> +<p> + "Why—Melun? Yes, whenever it was possible. To-night there will be + no moon; I was going, but why should you ask?" She bent forward + quickly, eagerly, some faint suspicion stirring in her. +</p> +<p> + "If I do this for you—if I save you—if I show myself to the + Sheik, then you must let me go to the palm-grove to-night." +</p> +<p> + Doolga fell back from her, surprise and terror and horror mingling + in her face. She clasped her small, soft hands together and wrung + them. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, Silka! you know, if he sees you, he will not look at me again; + he will not care." +</p> +<p> + Silka smiled a slow, painful smile. +</p> +<p> + "Do you not see?" she said in a whisper. "I shall go as you. Who + will know it is not you? Not Melun. He will be expecting you! he + has never seen me. I will not betray myself nor you, but this is my + condition. To-morrow I go in your stead to the Sheik; to-night, I + go in your stead to Melun." +</p> +<p> + Doolga stared at her, barely comprehending. +</p> +<p> + "But why—why?" she stammered in return. +</p> +<p> + "I go to the Sheik in your stead because I love you, and to Melun + in your stead because I love him," replied Silka firmly. +</p> +<p> + There was a smile in her eyes, but her lips were pale, compressed, + and sad. Doolga gazed at her in silence, both hands clasped tightly + now over her swelling breast. Astonishment, gratitude, mistrust, + and jealousy were all struggling together within it for mastery. +</p> +<p> + "You love Melun too?" she said at last. "Then why do you not take + him? One glance from you and he is yours." +</p> +<p> + "He was yours first," answered Silka miserably. "I cannot take him + from you." +</p> +<p> + "And you will marry the Sheik to save me?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes," replied Silka. +</p> +<p> + Then Doolga fell on her knees and thanked Silka and kissed her, and + Doolga's kisses were very sweet, and while those lips pressed hers + Silka forgot everything else in the world. At last Doolga said in a + sudden recrudescence of jealousy: +</p> +<p> + "In the grove to-night you will not—" and the rest was whispered. +</p> +<p> + "No," answered Silka; "I am the bride of the Sheik. You need fear + nothing. But I must see Melun; all my life long I shall feed on + your happiness. There will be nothing else for me. I shall live on + it. To do this I must have a vision of it before I go, and it will + stay by me for ever." +</p> +<p> + That afternoon the tent was gay with unrolled silks and scarlet + rugs, and coffee stood out in little porcelain cups upon the floor, + for the Sheik Ilbrahim had come to the final parley for his bride. + He sat before the coffee-cups on a black goat-skin, the pipe of + honour placed beside him. A grave, quiet man, with kind eyes, but + already far on in the winter of life. Opposite him sat his host, + the owner of the tent and father of the girls. Shrewd-eyed, + keen-faced, quietly he did his bargaining. Earlier in the day the + elder girl had laid the plan before him: herself for Melun, the + necklace-seller of Assouan, who owned neither camels nor goats, but + would pay well in silver straight from the hands of the tourists; + her younger sister for the Sheik, who would give doubtless two more + camels for her wonderful beauty. The father listened placidly. It + was not a bad bargain. +</p> +<p> + "But," he answered finally, "why should you not go to the Sheik now + for two camels and by and by another will come for your sister and + give four camels. Then shall I have had six for the two of you." +</p> +<p> + "But she may die," objected the ready Doolga, the keen-witted + daughter of her father. "Better secure the camels now, father." +</p> +<p> + "True, she may die, and the bargain be lost," mused the father, + and at last he spread out his hands with a gesture of conclusion. +</p> +<p> + "It is for the Sheik to decide," he said merely, and Doolga was + content. She knew beforehand what the Sheik would decide when he + saw her sister. Now the two girls sat clasped in each other's arms + behind a curtain hung across a corner of the tent, and waited + silently till they should be summoned. +</p> +<p> + "If she be fairer than your daughter Doolga," they heard the Sheik + say good-humouredly, "she must be fair indeed, and worth four + camels. Let me see her." +</p> +<p> + At those words Silka rose and stepped from behind the little + curtain. With timid steps she came forward to the centre of the + tent. A linen tunic clasped round the base of her throat fell + almost to her ankles, caught lightly in at the waist by a scarlet + cord; loose sleeves falling from the shoulder half-concealed her + rounded arms; but her lovely face, with its arching brows and + liquid eyes, looked out unveiled from her frame of cloudy hair, and + drew the Sheik's heart towards her. Wrapt in the enthusiasm of the + holiest of all loves, that of sister for sister, tense with the + ardour of her sacrifice, a light shone out from the tender soul + within that fired all her beauty, making it burn like the sun, and + intoxicate like wine. +</p> +<p> + Her father eyed her, and wished he had asked five camels. +</p> +<p> + The Sheik stretched out his right hand towards her. +</p> +<p> + "Are you pleased to come, my daughter, to the oasis of roses with + me?" +</p> +<p> + "My lord beholds his slave," answered Silka, and her eyes were full + of light, and her lips were curved in smiles. +</p> +<p> + "My camels, four of the best, will find their stable behind your + tent to-night," said the Sheik to her father, and he filled the cup + he had drunk from and handed it to the girl. Silka raised it to her + lips. +</p> +<p> + "Does it please my lord that he fetch me to-morrow, and leave me in + my father's tent to-night?" +</p> +<p> + The Sheik laughed good-naturedly, his eyes fixed on the pleading, + youthful face. +</p> +<p> + "It pleases me not to leave you; but if you ask me, little one, I + will not refuse. Let it be so." +</p> +<p> + As he spoke Silka drained the coffee-cup he had given her, and by + so doing bound herself to him henceforward. +</p> +<p> + There was no moon that night; it was dark with the darkness of the + desert, and the splendour of its million stars. As Silka came + softly from the tent she looked upwards; the wild heaving of her + bosom seemed repeated in that restless, pulsing light above. The + soft breath of the desert came to her; it whispered of Melun + waiting for her in the palm-grove. How happy she was! This was + life: one night of life was hers—no more. With the dawn came the + end. This was her first—her last—night of life, but how exquisite + it was! The voice of the desert sang in her ears, the light soft + sand caressed her flying feet. Within bounded her heart, buoyant + with leaping joy. Never had she realised the strength of her swift, + straight ankles—never till now the free, joyous power in her + supple limbs. +</p> +<p> + Before her rose the palm-grove, distinct in all its beauty of + feathery-topped trees, against the gorgeous starlit sky. By her + side gleamed now the line of the river, silver in the starlight; + smooth and lovely, studded with its fierce black rocks, flanked by + its orange sand, and here and there, on its edge in the radiant + darkness, rose a lofty palm lifting its swaying branches towards + the jewelled sky. Silka looked at the river curiously. Now she was + keenly alive; life was sharp and alert in every fibre, but it was + the last. This night of life was also a night of good-byes. + To-morrow she would look on the river again, but she would be dead + then—dead to joy and to love; it would only be Doolga who would be + living rich in both these gifts—gifts given by her. The thought + ran through her with a tumultuous gladness. +</p> +<p> + She entered the palm-grove and went straight to the tree that + Doolga had told her of, a withered palm. A figure sat at the foot + of the tree. The starlight gleamed on its white clothing. Silka's + feet stopped mechanically as she saw him; her heart beat so that + she could scarcely breathe; but he had caught sight of her, and + sprang to his feet and came towards her. How wonderful he was with + his fine head set on that long, firm throat, and how sweet the face + when his beautiful mouth broke into smiles as he saw her! +</p> +<p> + "Doolga!" he exclaimed, and then paused. She heard the little note + of wonder, of joy, in his voice, as she looked up at him in the + soft starlight, filtered through the palms. She was close to him, + and his voice, his presence was a new wonder to her. +</p> +<p> + "You are lovelier to-night than ever before. You have a new beauty, + what is it?" and he stretched out his arms passionately to her and + enfolded her in them close to his breast and kissed her. Then in + one moment did the rose of life, that unfolds slowly for most + mortals petal by petal, bloom suddenly for her whole and complete, + and fill her with its wild fragrance, overwhelming her senses. The + happiness of a hundred lives was compressed into that one perfect + moment when his lips touched hers, and she saw his face hang over + hers in the starlight, blazing with the fires of love. +</p> +<p> + "This then is life," she thought, as she put her arms round his + neck. "This is what I am giving to Doolga." +</p> +<p> + "Am I really more beautiful to-night than I have been?" she asked + presently, as they sat crouched close side by side at the foot of + the palm, looking towards the silver river. +</p> +<p> + "A thousand times!" he answered passionately. "I have never loved + you, never seen you as I do to-night." +</p> +<p> + "Then you must always remember me as you see me now. However Doolga + looks to you in the future, always remember this night, and how you + loved her then." +</p> +<p> + And he took her more closely into his arms, and pressed kisses on + her eyes, and told her in low murmured words of the tent he was + preparing for her, pitched where the cool breeze from the Nile + would reach them, and of the coming sunsets when she would sit + awaiting his return in the doorway, and of the still radiant hours + of the desert night which would pass over them full of delirious + joys; and the girl listened and lived out her life in those moments + against his heart. And ever as she listened, the thought of the + Sheik and his withered arms rose before her. Still it was Doolga's + future she looked into, the secrets of Doolga's happiness she + learned. As often as he murmured, "Doolga!" and caressed her, a + wave of joy passed through her. +</p> +<p> + Three hours before the dawn they parted, and with slow, sad steps + she returned to her father's tent. Her strength was spent. Life + and she had finally separated. Entering the tent with noiseless + feet, no sound disturbed the sleeping chief, and she crept to where + her sister sat up, wild-eyed and sleepless, on the bed. +</p> +<p> + "This he gave to Doolga," she said, with her lips pressed to + Doolga's ear, and passed over her head a necklace of faultless + beads of jade. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + The following day, when the last flare of the sunset lit up the sky + with flame, and the delicate branches of the palms of the oasis + showed before them tipped with gold, the Sheik Ilbrahim bent over + his bride sitting before him on the camel, decked out with gold + ornaments in her hair. He saw her smiling, and a glory that was not + of the sunset on her face. +</p> +<p> + "Of what is my beloved one thinking?" he asked her. +</p> +<p> + She looked up, but she did not see his face above her. She saw only + the tent where the wind from the Nile could come, and Doolga within + radiant with the joy she had given her. +</p> +<p> + "Of what should your slave be thinking, lord," she answered, "but + love and happiness?" +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0012"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + VI +</h2> +<br> +<p> + It was evening. A sky of purest emerald, luminous, transparent, and + divinely calm, stretched over the city of Damascus, that lies in + its white glory, wrapped round by its mantle of foliage, in the + heart of the burning desert—unhurt, cool, invulnerable in the jaws + of the all-devouring desert sand. In the East, with the first cool + breath of evening comes a spirit of rejoicing: the heat and burden + of the day are over, and there is one hour of pure delight before + the darkness. This hour had come to Damascus: the roses lifted + their heads in the garden, the birds burst into joyous floods of + song, and the trees waved and spread their branches to the little + breeze that came rippling through the crystal air. +</p> +<p> + Almost on the confines of the city, where the belt of protecting + verdure grows thin and the gaunt face of the desert presses against + the city walls, rose the square, white dwelling of Ahmed Ali, and + his garden was the largest and most beautiful of the city. High + white walls enclosed it on every side, and from the broad, + travelled highway that ran beside it the dusty and wearied wayfarer + often lifted his eyes to the profusion of gay roses, the syringa, + and star-eyed jasmine that tumbled jubilantly over the edge, and + hung their scented wreaths far above his head. The tinkling of a + fountain could be heard within, and the mad rapture of song from + the birds in the evening, when the scent of the orange blossom + stole softly out on the radiant golden air. On the other side of + the garden was a grove of orange-trees. The rich, glossy, green + foliage rose in dark masses above the high wall, and some + inquisitive, encroaching boughs stretched over and occasionally + dropped their golden fruit into Ahmed's garden. On the inside of + the old, moss-grown wall were numerous buttresses, and in these + angles and corners, sheltered from any breeze, the roses and the + small fruit-trees fairly rioted together, blending their masses of + pink and white bloom. +</p> +<p> + On this evening, when the sky shone like one sheet of purest + mother-of-pearl, green and rose and faint purple, the garden was + very still; the only sound was the murmur of the falling water, the + coo of some white doves in a pear-tree, and a very light step + pacing on the tiny narrow path that wound its way round the whole + garden amongst the rose-bushes and lemon-trees. +</p> +<p> + Dilama, the youngest of the ladies of the harem, was walking in the + garden with her white veil thrown back and a smile on her small, + red, curling lips. She stooped here and there to gather a flower + whenever a bud or blossom of particular beauty caught her eye, and + fastened now one against her thick brown hair, and now one or two + upon the rich-embroidered muslin that covered the upper part of her + bosom. She was intensely happy: in the spring at Damascus, at + seventeen and in love, who would not be happy? The fires of youth + and love and joy burned in her flesh and danced in her veins and + shone in her eyes, and she sang and smiled to herself as she + gathered the flowers. She was a Druze woman, and gifted with the + wonderful beauty that Nature has showered on the women of Syria. + Skins that the most perfect Saxon skin of milk and rose can + scarcely rival are wedded to eyes of Eastern midnight and brown + tresses filled with shining lights of red and gold. She had been + born in the fierce, barren mountains lying behind Beirut, and at + eight years old had drifted—part of the spoils of a raid—into the + keeping of Ahmed Ali, the richest landowner and merchant of + Damascus. He was a Turk, of pure Turkish blood, and with the large, + generous heart and the kindly nature of the Turk. All the life that + owed him allegiance, that was supported by his hand, was happy and + well cared for—from the magnificent black horses, ignorant of whip + and spur, that filled his stables, and the dogs that lay peacefully + about in his palace, to the beauties of the harem, who tripped + about gaily singing and laughing in their cool halls and shaded + garden. Where the Turk rules there is usually peace, for his nature + is pacific, and in the palace of Ahmed there was joy and peace and + love and pleasure in abundance. There were seven ladies of the + harem, including Dilama, and six of these were happy wives of + Ahmed. Each had one or more sons, handsome, large-eyed, sedate + little Mohammedans, who were being trained by Turkish mothers in + all sorts of gentle ways and manners—in thought and care for + others, in courtesy and kindness; and who were very different in + their childish work and play from the brawling, selfish, cruel + little monsters that European children of the same age mostly are. + But Dilama was not yet Ahmed's wife; she loved him most truly and + deeply as an affectionate daughter. For who could not love Ahmed? + There was a charm in his stately beauty of face and figure, in the + kind musical voice, in the eyes so large and dark and gentle, that + was irresistible. But to Dilama he was something far above her: her + king, her lord indeed, for whom she would lay down life itself + without question, but not the man to whom her ardent simple nature + had turned for love. Ahmed had not sought her. When first she came + to his palace she had been too young except for him to treat as + a pretty child, and the relationship of father and daughter + then established had never yet been broken in upon. And the + light-hearted, sunny-natured Druze girl had taken life just as she + found it, regarding herself as Ahmed's daughter, and rejoicing in + her home of love and beauty she ceased to remember that one day he + would inevitably claim her as his wife, and that that day must be + the beginning or the end of happiness just as she prepared for it. + But she did not prepare for it, she ignored it: flitting like some + golden butterfly through the pleasant hours, and growing fairer + every day, so that the harem women looked at her with a little + sinking of the heart yet no ill-will, and said amongst themselves, + "Surely Ahmed must choose her soon." But Ahmed loved at that time + with his whole soul a Turkish woman, and she was to give him + shortly a second child, and for fear of disturbing her peace of + mind Ahmed remained in the Selamlik, and would not visit his other + wives, nor send for Dilama, though his eyes, like the others, noted + her growing beauty day by day. +</p> +<p> + "I will wait in patience," he thought, looking out one morning at + sunrise, and watching Dilama playing with the white doves on the + basin edge of the fountain. "I will wait till Buldoula is well and + strong again. She would fret now, and think I was forgetting her in + a new love if I call Dilama to me yet. I will wait till her second + son is born, and then in her joy and pride she will not be jealous + of the new wife." +</p> +<p> + So he waited, but in the game of love he that waits is ever the + loser. That night, when the moon was rising over the white and deep + green of Damascus, Dilama walked, humming to herself, in the + garden, full of a great leaping desire, born of her youth and fine + health and the breath of the May night, to love and be loved. + Suddenly, when she came to the corner, under the drooping boughs of + the grove without the garden, an orange fell, and, just escaping + her head struck her heavily on her bosom. With a great shock she + stood still, looking up, and there, on the summit of the high wall, + amid the green boughs, was a man sitting, leaning over down towards + her, with fiery eyes looking upon her from under a dark green + turban. +</p> +<p> + "It is death to be here," she whispered, her face pallid in the + moonlight, "do not stay;" yet her whole being leapt up with hope + that he would disobey. The man laughed softly. +</p> +<p> + "It is life to look on you," he said merely, and to her terrified + joy and horrified delight he slid down between the lemon-trees and + the wall, and stood before her in the angle it made, where two + buttresses jutting forward hid him from all view unless one stood + directly opposite. +</p> +<p> + Dilama shook from head to foot; in one fierce, sweeping rush, + love passed over and through her as she stood staring with wild + dilated eyes on the form before her. Tall, tall as Ahmed, with + all the grace and strength of youth, lithe and supple, with a + straight-lined, dark-browed face above a stately throat, and dark + kindling eyes, wells of living fire that called all her soul and + heart and womanhood into life. +</p> +<p> + "I have often watched you walking in the garden," he murmured, + gently taking in his, one nerveless hand. "I come from your village + in the hills, where you were taken from long ago. I am a Druze," + and he threw his head higher, as the stag of the forest throws his + at the first note of the challenge. Dilama knew well that he was + of her own people. Infant memories, instinctive, implanted + consciousness told her this without the aid of Druze clothing, or + the short, gay dagger thrust into his waist-sash. +</p> +<p> + "I think you are not yet the wife of Ahmed Ali?" he went on, as + she simply trembled in silence, wave after wave of emotion passing + through her, striking her heart and choking her voice. "Tell me?" +</p> +<p> + Dilama shook her head, and a triumphant smile curved the handsome + lips before her. +</p> +<p> + "I knew it; you are mine," he said, in reply, and, bending over her + as she stood shrinking, on the verge of fainting, between terror + and wonder and joy, he kissed her on the lips, not roughly—even + gently—but with such a fire of life on his that it seemed to the + girl, in the destruction of all her usual feelings, in the havoc of + the new ones called in their place, that the actual moment of + dissolution had come. +</p> +<p> + That had been some three weeks ago, and now, on this soft, pearly + evening, she was waiting eagerly for the sky to deepen, and the + light of the stars to sharpen, and the orange to fall over the + wall. For the Druze had come many times, and no one had discovered + the lovers, screened by masses of roses in the buttress-sheltered + corner of the wall. In fact, for the last weeks no one had had time + or thought for anything but Buldoula, who lay sick within the + palace walls, and attendants waited anxiously or ran hither and + thither on various errands, and Ahmed was in the depths of anxiety; + and no one thought about Dilama or paid any attention to her, and + she was radiantly happy and self-engrossed, and came and went + between the garden and her own little chamber as she listed, + undisturbed. And this evening, as usual, she slipped unobserved + amongst the roses into the corner of the buttressed wall. A moment + after the boughs overhead parted, and the lithe Druze dropped down + noiselessly beside her. She put her gold braceleted arms round his + strong brown neck, and pressed her silken-covered bosom hard + against his rough cotton tunic. A great rush of rosy light flooded + all the sky for some minutes, then began to pale softly before the + approach of the lustrous purple dark. +</p> +<p> + In the palace a light behind one of the mushrabeared windows was + extinguished; there was the sound of the scurry of feet, and then a + long wail came out from the building, rending the pink-hued + twilight. +</p> +<p> + "Buldoula is dead!" remarked Dilama simply, as the lovers crouched + together between the wall and the roses. It meant nothing to her, + enclosed in the happy warmth of her lover's arms; death had no + meaning for her yet, hardly seventeen years' journey distant from + birth, and full of all the sap and great leaping fires of life. + Death was something so far away, so impossible to realise. It was + but a word to her—a casket enclosing nothing. Yet the death of + Buldoula was the embryo event in the womb of time from which was to + develop the whole tragedy of her own life. +</p> +<p> + "Buldoula is dead," she said again, carelessly, her rose-tipped + fingers smoothing the black sweeping arch of the man's brows. + "Perhaps her son is dead also. Ahmed will be very grieved—she was + going to bear her second son." +</p> +<p> + "Little dove! I must take you away to the mountains soon," said the + Druze, clasping her tighter to him. "Soon," he muttered again, + stooping down to look under the rose-boughs to the white-faced + house, now, with all its screened windows, dark. His words seemed + irrelevant, yet they were not. He had a keen prescience that the + death of the favourite of the harem might influence very quickly + Dilama's fate. +</p> +<p> + "Why not take me now, Murad? I want to see the mountains," and she + laid her little head, crowned by its masses of brown-gold hair, on + his warm breast. +</p> +<p> + "The caravan does not start for two weeks more," he answered + thoughtfully. "We must wait for it. It would be madness to try to + escape alone. We should be seen, noted, and tracked down. Think how + Ahmed will look for his treasure when he finds it stolen! But if + you are hidden in a bale of goods on a camel in the caravan, who + will suspect, who will know that the Druze has taken you? The whole + caravan of Druzes cannot be stopped because Ahmed has lost a wife! + No, in the caravan, with all the rest, we are safe. There is no + other way." +</p> +<p> + There was silence while the twilight deepened in the garden, and + the stars began to show above like flashing swords in the sky. In + the languor of love that knows no fear and has no cares, that + opiate of the soul, Dilama lay in his arms and sought his lips and + eyes, and asked no more about caravans and journeys and mountains, + drugged and heavy with love. In an hour when all was velvet + blackness beneath the wall, they kissed farewell. He scaled the + crumbling bricks, and regained the sheltering orange grove, and she + walked slowly back, drawing smooth her filmy veil, towards the + darkened palace. +</p> +<p> + Five days later at noontime, as Dilama was sitting in the garden + playing with the tame white doves by the fountain, one of the black + female slaves approached her. Dilama looked up questioningly, + holding a dove to her bosom. +</p> +<p> + "The lord is sorrowing within for his dead wife and dead son. He + has sent for you; go in, and lead him away from grief," and the + woman smiled and prostrated herself before Dilama, who shrank + instinctively away like a frightened child. But there is only one + law and one will in the harem, and she rose obediently, letting the + dove go, and stood ready to follow the slave. That meaning smile on + the woman's face filled her with an intuitive, instinctive, + undefined fear, and at the same instant there rushed over her the + realisation of the great happiness that same smile would have + brought her had there been no Murad, had she fled from that + rose-filled corner on that first evening—had she, in a word, + <i>waited</i>! This summons to the presence of their lord is what so + many of the harem slaves pine and long for through weary months, + and sometimes years. It came now to her, and it meant nothing but + vague fear and dread. She followed the slave with unelastic steps, + and her brain full of heavy thoughts; they passed the women's + apartments and went on to the Selamlik and to the room of Ahmed, + that looked out with unscreened windows into the cool, deep green + of the garden. The slave drew back at the door, holding a curtain + aside for the girl to enter. She went forward, the curtain fell + behind her, and she was alone with Ahmed. +</p> +<p> + He was sitting opposite on a low divan or couch, clothed from head + to foot in a deep blue robe, and with a turban of the same colour + twisted above his level brows—a kingly, majestic figure, and the + girl's heart beat and her eyelids fell as she crept slowly over the + floor towards him. At his feet she sank to her knees, and would + have put her forehead to the ground, but Ahmed bent forward, and + clasping both her arms lifted her on to the couch beside him. +</p> +<p> + "And you are the Druze child, Dilama?" he said gently, and leaning + a little back from her, surveyed her intently with dark lustrous + eyes. The girl felt swooning with terror; before his gaze her very + flesh seemed dissolving. It seemed as if her heart, her brain, with + the image of Murad stamped on them, would be laid bare to those + brilliant, searching eyes. What would he not know, suspect, find + out? What would he ask? demand of her? She could not ask herself. + Was this to be the end of his paternal relationship to her? the + beginning of a new one? She dared not lift her eyes lest he should + see their terror; the blood burnt in the surface of all her fair + skin, as if red-hot irons were pressed to it. And Ahmed, gazing + upon her with the pure noonday light, softened by the leafy screen + without pouring over her, drank in her fair Syrian beauty with + delight. The pale, rose-hued silken clothing she wore harmonised + with the ivory and rose of her round arms and throat and cheeks, + and threw up the masses of dark hair that fell beneath her veil to + her slender waist. Ahmed very gently unbound the snowy garment from + her head and stroked her hair lightly, watching the gold gleams in + its ripples as his hand passed over them. He saw her dismay, + confusion, even her terror, and noticed the quiver of her hands and + the irregular leap of her bosom, but these did not dismay him. He + was accustomed to be beloved even as he loved, and the women of the + harem who came to him in fear left him with happy confidence. He + affected now not to see her embarrassment, thinking it to be only + that, and said quietly, "And you have been happy, Dilama, in my + house?" The girl felt she must speak, though her throat seemed + closed and her tongue nerveless. +</p> +<p> + "Very happy," she faltered at last in a whisper. +</p> +<p> + "But you have been lonely, perhaps?" he asked. "Have the roses and + doves in the garden been companions enough for you? Have you not + been too much alone?" +</p> +<p> + In the heavy load of apprehension of intangible fear and horror + that seemed stifling her, a madness of longing came over the girl + to be free from her guilty secret, to have never known Murad. Now + she could have looked up fearless, full of expectant joy! She could + have loved this man; she knew it, now that she felt his love + approaching her: hope was dying within her that ever again would he + regard her simply as his daughter. She knew those tones of the + voice, she had heard them from Murad in the garden, but here the + voice was infinitely more refined, the sound of it exquisitely + musical; and now, that love for her was in it, it told her a new + secret, that she could have given love for love. She knew, though + her eyelids were down, how beautiful the face was that bent over + her: the straight, severe lines of it, the magnificent eyes and + brows burnt through her lids. Ah, why had he waited so long, or she + not waited longer? +</p> +<p> + Full of intolerable, irrepressible pain, she looked up at last + suddenly. +</p> +<p> + "Why did not my lord come into the garden, to the roses and doves + and—me?" she asked falteringly, her gaze held now irresistibly by + the dark orbs above her. Then, afraid of her own temerity, she + became white as death under his gaze. +</p> +<p> + But Ahmed was rather pleased by this first connected speech she + had made in the interview. It sounded to him like the tender + reproach of an amorous, expectant maiden, waiting eagerly for her + love, too long delayed. The under-meaning, the terrible regret for + irrevocable ill, naturally escaped him. He smiled, and put his arm + round her shoulders. "Well, it is not too late," he said, bending + over her. But the girl shrank from his arm, and he realised it + instantly. He was aware directly that there was some feeling in her + not quite fathomed nor understood. It puzzled him. He was far too + deep a thinker, far too refined a nature to treat his women as + inanimate toys to be used for his amusement, either with or without + their consent, as the chance might be. He knew them to be, and + treated them as, individual souls, with right of will and desire + equal to his own, and was too proud to accept the gift of the body + unless he had first conquered the will. But usually there was no + difficulty. Nature had gifted Ahmed with all the best treasures in + her jewel-box; beauty of face and form, strength and grace, charm + of voice and presence—everything needed to ensnare and delight + the senses, and he was accustomed to be loved, passionately adored, + and worshipped. He was naturally a connoisseur in such matters, and + knew well and easily the truth or dissembling in them. But here + there was neither: the girl shrank from him instinctively, and + seemed possessed by nothing but dumb, helpless fear that was + distressing to him. Yet not all distressing, for even in the best + of male natures there always remains some of the instinctive desire + of conquest, the delight in opposition, if not too prolonged, the + love of battle, the hope of victory; and to Ahmed, the invariably + successful lover, the resistance of this slight, rose-leaf creature + he could crush with one blow of his hand roused suddenly all the + primitive joy of the chase, the excitement of pursuit. Only, where + with some natures it would have been brutal and rapid, the end and + triumph assured, the prize the body; here it would be gentle and + dexterous, the end dependent on another, the prize the soul—the + soul, the will, the most difficult quarry to capture, as Ahmed + knew. +</p> +<p> + He let his arm slip from her shoulders, and rose and walked over + to the window, looking out for a moment into the delicious green + beyond. Dilama half-sat, half-crouched upon the divan, not daring + to stir, and watched him furtively. +</p> +<p> + Ahmed stood for a moment, and there was dead silence in the room. + Then he returned and came towards the couch, standing opposite it, + and looking down at her. +</p> +<p> + "Dilama, you seem very much afraid of me, and why is it? Look up + and speak to me. There is no need for fear. Do you think I have + called you here to force you to love me? There is no way of forcing + love. You are free to come and go to and from this room as you + will, but I am lonely and grieved, now Buldoula has been taken away + from me. I would like you to come here and play and sing to me, and + console me; will you?" +</p> +<p> + Dilama ventured to lift her eyes to the kingly figure before her, + and meeting the pained, dark eyes bent on her, and realising that + there was nothing, indeed, to make her fear but her own guilty + conscience, she burst suddenly into an uncontrollable passion of + weeping, and slipping from the couch fell sobbing at his feet. +</p> +<p> + Ahmed stooped and gathered her up in his arms, holding her to his + breast, and this time she did not shrink from him, but lay there + unresisting, crying violently. For a moment the clasp of his arm, + the touch of gentle sympathy, soothed and comforted her. For one + wild moment she longed to confide in him, to tell him the reality. + What would happen? Was it possible that Ahmed would pardon her, and + let her go to her own life, her own love and lover! No, it was not + possible—any other offence but this; theft or murder he could have + forgiven and sheltered, but this, no! Instinctively she knew and + felt it would not be possible to him—a Turk, free from prejudice + and superstition, liberal as he was—to forgive her crime. Death + for herself and Murad was the best she could expect. Ahmed's own + honour, the traditions of all his house, his great position would + make it impossible for him to let her pass from his, a Turk's harem + to a Druze lover. The thought whirled from her sick brain, leaving + all confused and hopeless as before, and her tears rained fast. + Ahmed smoothed her soft hair and kissed her forehead gently, as it + lay against his breast. +</p> +<p> + "Go and fetch your music, and sing to me," he whispered, as her + sobs ceased. "See how lovely the spring time is; it is no time for + tears, but for songs and—love." He murmured the last word very + softly and set her free. Without looking at him she slipped away to + the door in obedience to his command, and in a wild confusion of + feeling in which pleasure struggled with fear. +</p> +<p> + When she came back with her instrument, a small pear shaped guitar + in appearance, she was more composed. Her eyes were still red and + swollen, but the soft, elastic skin had already regained its + colouring. As she entered, soft bars of sunlight were falling + through the room, the window had been opened, and the song of the + birds came gaily through it. Ahmed had ordered coffee and + sweetmeats to be brought, and these now stood on a small inlaid + table before her, on whose glistening arabesques of mother of pearl + the sunbeams twinkled merrily. Ahmed's eyes lighted up with tender + pleasure as he saw her enter, and she noted it. He was still + sitting on the couch, and held in his hand a small green leather + case—the counterpart of hundreds to be seen in the jewellers' + windows in Paris. Dilama guessed at once it was some present for + her. Unconsciously the light, gay, butterfly nature of the girl + began to reassert itself in the knowledge that the final issue had + not to be met then; that there was respite for her, delay; and a + natural joy stirred in her looking across at Ahmed. It was + something, after all, to be queen of the harem, to be wooed in + gifts and smiles by its lord. +</p> +<p> + "Come here!" he said to her, and as she approached he opened the + case and took from it a bracelet, a limp band of gold with a clasp + of rubies and diamonds that flashed a thousand sparkling rays into + the astonished eyes of the girl, accustomed only to the dull, uncut + or poorly-cut gems of the East. +</p> +<p> + "How wonderful! Is it for me, really?" she exclaimed, as Ahmed took + her unresisting arm and clasped the bracelet round it above the + elbow, where it lent a new beauty to the flesh. +</p> +<p> + "Now, take some coffee, and then you shall play to me while I rest + and smoke," continued Ahmed, kissing her tenderly between the eyes, + as she gazed up gratefully to him, and though she flushed and + trembled, this time she did not shrink from him. +</p> +<p> + The coffee seemed more delicious than any that was served in the + haremlik, and the gold-tipped cigarettes and the jam, made out of + rose leaves, that Ahmed pressed upon her, delighted her senses and + helped to make her think less of the passing hour and Murad, who + would be waiting in stormy passion for her, in the angle of the + wall. "I can't help it; I can't help it!" she thought to herself as + she took up her instrument and bent over the strings to tune them, + while Ahmed stretched himself at full length on the divan to + listen, with a scarlet cushion supporting his regal head. She could + both sing and play well, for Ahmed loved music, and wisely + considered it a safe amusement—an outlet for superfluous passions + and unexpressed feelings—for the women of the harem. Instruments + were provided in plenty, and instruction and all encouragement + given to them to learn, and from her first day in the harem + Dilama's natural voice and talents had been noted and fostered. + This afternoon, at first she was timid, and sang and played + stiffly, carefully, with a great attention to notes and strings; + but slowly the calm and stillness of the beautiful sun-filled room, + the scented air floating in from the garden, the tense atmosphere + of passion about her, and the magic beauty of the face and form + opposite influenced her, grew upon her, wrapped her round, and she + began to sing passionately, ardently, with that abandonment, + without which all music is a hollow sound. Her glorious voice, + fresh, youthful, clear, and pure came rushing joyously over her + lips and filled the room. Her spirits rose as she realised the + power she was exerting. She felt a little impatient at the thought + of Murad. After all, she was a great lady, a lady of the harem of + Ahmed Ali, the richest Turk in Damascus. She was dressed in + delicate silks, and the jewels blazed on her arm. She was queen of + the harem, and the beloved of its lord. He was most desirable to + her and to all women, and, but for Murad, who seemed to stand like + a black shadow between, she would have lain upon his breast with + pure delight. She leant forward now, singing rapturously over the + instrument pressed close to her soft breast, while her rose-hued + fingers leapt among its strings; a transparent flush, delicate as + the tint of a shell, glowed in her cheeks; her large, dark eyes + looked straight at Ahmed, drawing in all the proud beauty of his + face; her hair lay soft and thick without its veil above her brows, + and one heavy tress fell forward over her shoulder to her knee. + Ahmed lay watching her, his eyes filled with sombre fires, his + whole soul listening to the song; and one other lay listening also, + and this was Murad, crouching in the shade of the orange-tree + plantation, catching with distended ears that flood of passionate + melody wafted to him over the still garden, from the window of + Ahmed's apartment, from the Selamlik. +</p> +<p> + When the song was finished, and the last notes had faltered softly + into silence, Ahmed rose from his divan and crossed to where she + sat. The room was full now of hot rosy light; the scent of the + orange flowers poured in through the windows; the girl's senses + grew confused and dizzy. Her cheeks were flaming with the + excitement and joy and effort and passion of her singing; her + eyelids were cast down, and beneath them her eyes watched, half in + terror, half in a strained delight, the blue Persian slippers + advancing silently over the matting on the floor towards her. +</p> +<p> + "Will Dilama stay with me to-night?" +</p> +<p> + The girl looked up, whitening to the lips, and slid to a kneeling + position. Terror at the thought of infidelity to Murad filled her; + he would infallibly find it out and avenge himself. Her face worked + convulsively; she stretched out her hands with a gesture of + despair. +</p> +<p> + "What my lord wills: I am the slave of his wishes." +</p> +<p> + Ahmed drew his level brows together, and for a moment lined the + serene beauty of his forehead. He gazed at her with a steady, + puzzled look, and at last a faint, half-quizzical smile relaxed his + lips. What could this strange idea, this whim be, so unlike all + Eastern maiden's usual fancies? He had not yet solved the riddle, + nor found the clue! he would do so, but in the meantime she must be + left her freedom. In all noble natures power brings with it a + terrible responsibility, and the habit of stern self-control and + long forbearance. Ahmed's complete power over the frightened piece + of humanity before him brought upon him the necessity practically + of surrender; for the Turk possesses one of the noblest and gentle + natures the human race can boast of. Ahmed remained silent for a + few seconds, and the girl gazed upon him with dilated, fascinated + eyes. She noted in a dazed way how the dark blue robe parted on his + breast and showed beneath a vest of gold silk, fastened a little to + the side by a single emerald; how the column of throat towered + above these, supporting the oval face and beautifully-modelled + chin, and above these again, and the commanding brows, shone + another solitary emerald between the folds of his turban on his + forehead. +</p> +<p> + Murad began to seem like a robber depriving her of all these + things. There is no fidelity in the body. Fidelity is a thing of + the mind, always at war with and striving to coerce those instincts + of the senses that are ever clamouring after the new and the + unknown. Nature is ever driving us on to seek new mates. The mind + with its trammels of affection, gratitude, pity, consideration, is + ever dragging us back and seeking to tie us to the old. Nature's + rule is fresh seasons, fresh mates, new hours, new loves. And he + who seeks fidelity must woo the mind, for the body cannot give it, + and knows not its laws. +</p> +<p> + After a minute's silence Ahmed stretched out his hand to her and + raised her to her feet. His face had lost its smiles and fire; it + was grave and sombre-looking now, but his voice was gentle as he + answered her: +</p> +<p> + "You are free to return to the haremlik," he said; "no one has any + power to coerce you. I wish you to come and go as you will." He + waved his hand towards the curtain with a gesture of dismissal, and + then turned away and rang a little silver bell on a table. The + black slave appeared—it seemed almost instantly—before the + curtain; while Dilama still stood, motionless, irresolute, with a + curious sense of disappointment, mingling with relief, stealing + over her. Ahmed beckoned the slave to him, and said something + in a low voice Dilama did not catch, but the last sentence she + overheard. "Send Soutouma to me," and without taking any further + notice of Dilama, Ahmed turned back towards the divan, threw + himself upon it, and drew the pipe-stand towards him. +</p> +<p> + The black slave, with a smile on her curving lips, motioned to + Dilama to precede her, and Dilama, with one look flung backward to + Ahmed's couch in the full sunlight of the window, passed under the + heavy blue curtain out into the passage. "Send Soutouma to me!" the + words went through her with a cutting feeling, as a knife dividing + her flesh. +</p> +<p> + Soutouma was next to Buldoula in age and rank—a fair beauty of the + harem, with soft, long, sunlit tresses, and a skin of snow. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, why not? why not?" asked Dilama wildly to herself as her feet + dragged along down the passage side by side with the grinning + black's. "I am a Druze girl: I belong to Murad and to the + mountains." But the insidious charm of Ahmed's personality worked + on all the pulses of her body; pulses that know not fidelity, + though her brain kept telling her that Murad would be waiting for + her in the garden. But that night Murad did not come. The garden + stood cool and fragrant, full of perfume and rosy light, full of + the music of birds and the tints of a thousand flowers—all the + invitations to love, but love itself was absent. Dilama searched + the garden from end to end, and walked in and out among the roses + by the buttressed wall, but the garden was empty and silent. She + was alone. Tired at last, and ready to cry with fatigue and + disappointment, she sat down by the red brick wall, leaning her + chin on her hand and gazing up towards the windows of the Selamlik, + which could only be seen in portions here and there through a leafy + screen of plane-tree branches. How still it was in the garden, and + how the scent of the orange flower weighed on the senses! How clear + the pink, transparent air! +</p> +<p> + Through that same lucid air, under the spreading plane-trees, and + through the great dim bazaars of the city, walked Murad that + evening with quick, hot feet, and the liquid coursing in his veins + seemed fire instead of blood. He went from Druze to Druze, wherever + he could find them, in their own homes, or sitting at a shady + corner of a street, where the tiny rush-bottomed stools are + gathered round the tea-stalls with their hissing brazen urns and + porcelain cups, or lounging in the bazaars, or at the marble + drinking-fountains. Wherever they were he found them, and spoke a + few hot, eager words to them, urging them to hurry forward their + preparations, and be ready to start with the caravan at the rising + of the full moon. Then, as the rosy light changed into violet dusk, + he went home to his low, yellow, square-roofed dwelling on the edge + of the desert, and sat there in his one unlighted room—sat there + gazing out with unseeing eyes into the lustrous Damascus night + beyond the open door, and with the fingers of his right hand + playing absently with the handle of his knife. +</p> +<p> + A week had passed over and Ahmed had not sent again for Dilama, nor + had Murad visited the garden, and to the Eastern girl it seemed as + if the world had stopped still. The hot, languid days, the gorgeous + nights with the blaze of the stars and the rapture of the + nightingales, filled her with madness that seemed insupportable. + She knew of no reason for Murad's desertion. She could find out + nothing. She did not dare to breathe a word to any one of the + anxiety, the wonder, the desperation that seemed choking her. What + had become of him? What had happened? Would he ever come again? And + as he appealed only to her senses, and he was not there, she ceased + to wish for him very much, but thought more of Ahmed and the + Selamlik that were close to her. For the mind and the imagination + love in absence and long after the absent one, but the senses are + stirred by proximity, and turn to the one who is nearest. +</p> +<p> + One evening, when the soft sky was a clear crimson and the full + moon rose a perfect disk of transparent silver, faint as yet in the + blood-red glow, Dilama felt as if she could exist no longer in the + still, even, unchanging peace of the women's apartments. The song + of the water without, the coo of the doves, the incessantly + repeated love-note of the mating sparrows, seemed to madden her + beyond endurance. +</p> +<p> + She lay face downwards on the soft carpet of her little + sleeping-chamber, and moaned unconsciously aloud, "Let me die! let + me die! I have lost favour with all men." +</p> +<p> + The black slave was sitting cross-legged just outside the curtain, + and when these slow, long drawn-out words came from the other side + a light gleamed in her shrewd, beady-black eyes. With one claw-like + hand she cautiously drew back a fold of the curtain, and peering in + saw the foremost lady of the harem lying prostrate, her face + pressed to the floor. She made no sound, but dropping the curtain + noiselessly, sidled slowly off down the dark passage leading to the + Selamlik. Ahmed was alone in his apartment when the slave appeared, + sitting on the broad window ledge gazing out from the window which + overlooked his grounds, and beyond them the white minarets and + shining cupolas of the city. He turned at the interruption, but his + face lighted up with pleasure as he recognised the women's + attendant, and he signed to her to approach. +</p> +<p> + "The Lady Dilama is weeping in her chamber, desiring my lord," + announced the slave, with much bowing and prostration, but still + with that confidence which showed she knew how welcome the news + would be to her august listener. Ahmed rose, a fire of joy leaping + up suddenly within him. +</p> +<p> + "It is well," he said, in an even tone. "Let the Lady Dilama come + to me, and for yourself take this," and he dropped beside the + crouching heap of black back and shoulder a small velvet bag. The + slave grabbed it and put it in her breast, muttering a thousand + thanks and blessings, and withdrew. +</p> +<p> + Once outside, her lean black legs carried her swiftly back to + Dilama's room, where she pushed aside the curtain without ceremony. +</p> +<p> + "Come!" she said imperiously, "you are Ahmed Ali's chosen one; he + has sent for you. Put off that torn veil, and all that weeping. I + have new robes here for you." +</p> +<p> + Dilama, who had hurriedly gathered herself up at the slave's entry, + shrank away now into a corner of the room, white as death. +</p> +<p> + "Has he sent for me?" she asked breathlessly. "Commanded me? Oh, + must I go?" +</p> +<p> + The slave looked at her strangely. She had no suspicion of Dilama's + secret, and had no idea that her own misrepresentations were as + gross as they were. But she had no wish to be harsh or unkind to + this girl, who would be in a few hours queen of the harem. She was + puzzled. She drew near to Dilama's shrinking form, and peered into + her face. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, he <i>commands</i>," she said; "but is it possible you do not + wish to go to Ahmed? He is a king amongst men, and he loves you. + What better fate could there be than to lie on his breast, in his + arms? Is it not better than the ground to which you were crying + just now? Surely you will reward me well to-morrow?" +</p> +<p> + Dilama answered nothing. Long shivers were passing through her. It + was decided, then; she could no longer avoid her fate, and already + with that thought the Oriental calm of acceptance came to her. + Besides, where was Murad? She could not tell. Fate had taken him + from her, perhaps—the same Fate that gave her to Ahmed. She was + helpless. She had no choice but to obey. And the words of the + slave, accompanied by those piercing, meaning looks, inflamed her + senses. After that unbearable week of solitude the summons came to + her not all unwelcome, and the supreme thought of Ahmed himself + loomed up suddenly, bringing irresistible joy with it. A flame + passed over her cheeks; she caught the slave's skinny black hand + between her own rose-leaf palms. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I will reward you," she murmured. "Dress me beautifully, + decorate me that I may find favour with Ahmed." +</p> +<p> + The slave laughed meaningly. +</p> +<p> + "Does the desert traveller burn and sigh after water, and then do + the springs of Damascus not find favour in his eyes?" she asked, + and laughed again as she approached Dilama, and began to undress + her. In a few minutes the whole of the haremlik was in a state of + pleasant excitement. The news of the dressing of the bride spread + into its furthest corners, and the women came to talk and jest, and + the servants fled hither and thither upon errands. Dilama was led + into the large general room, and there bathed from head to foot + with warm rose-water; while the others sat round and chatted + together, and admired her ivory skin, with the wild rose Syrian + bloom upon it, and her masses of gold-tinted chestnut hair. And the + black slave bathed and anointed and dressed her with the utmost + care and great self-importance, and sent the underslaves flying in + all directions, one to gather syringa, and other heavy-scented + blossoms from the garden, and another to fetch the jewels for her + neck; and as the attar of rose bottle was found to be empty, a + slave was sent with flying feet to the bazaar to purchase more; and + Dilama, excited and elated, surrounded by jest and laughter and + smiling faces, felt her youth leap up within her, and rejoice at + coming into its kingdom—love. +</p> +<p> + In the bazaar the slave sped to the perfume-seller, and, swelling + with the importance of his mission, stayed a moment to chatter with + the dealer. +</p> +<p> + "They are dressing a new bride for my master, and I must hasten + back," he gossiped, lounging on the merchant's little stall. "Ahmed + Ali awaits her in the Selamlik; I must be going. They say her + beauty is wonderful; she is not a Turk, but a Syrian from the + mountains by Beirut. I must hasten: they will be waiting." +</p> +<p> + "Yes, hasten on your way," returned the perfume-seller. He was a + Turk, dignified and gracious, and of no mind to listen to gossip + from the harem, of which it was little short of scandalous to speak + so publicly. He had other customers in his shop who could hear, + amongst them a black-browed Druze in a green turban, who was + waiting patiently his turn, and who seemed to listen intently to + this most improper gossip. The slave disappeared with flying feet + to catch up his wasted moments, but when the Turk turned to serve + the silent Druze, he, too, had vanished, and some white-turbaned + Arabs pressed forward in his place. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + Dilama in her lighted chamber, with her fresh young eyes a little + painted beneath their lids, and heavy gold chains about her soft + young throat, sat looking into the little French mirror of cheap + glass and gilt, and waiting for the attar of rose to be poured on + her shining hair. +</p> +<p> + At last the boy returned breathless, and the precious stuff was + poured on her hair and hands. Then she stood up radiant and the + women sighed and smiled by turns as she went out, preceded by the + old slave. A long narrow passage, lighted overhead by swinging + coloured lamps, divided the women's from the men's apartments, and + through this they passed noiselessly over the matting-covered + floor. At the end fell heavy curtains, concealing the door and some + steps. Here the slave left the girl, and Dilama went through the + curtains alone. She mounted the steps and passed through the door. + All was quite silent here, and the passage unlighted, except that + through a tiny window high up above her head a streak of moonlight + fell across her way. Dilama paused oppressed, she knew not by what + feeling. Only a short passage and another curtained door divided + her now from Ahmed's presence. Her breath came fast, her pulses + beat nervously, and her feet dragged; slowly and unwillingly she + crept onward, harassed by cold, vague fears. Before the door itself + she trembled, and her soft hands and wrists hardly availed to push + it open. It yielded slowly, and fell to behind her in silence. +</p> +<p> + The room was full of light; a silver blaze of moonlight illumined + it from end to end. The great windows, over which usually the + curtains were drawn, stood uncovered and wide open to the soft + Damascus air. The scent of roses and jessamine from the great man's + garden stole in with the silver light. The girl paused when just + over the threshold: she was cold and frightened, and her body + shook. Ahmed did not move or speak. He was sitting sideways to one + great window, with his head resting against the high back of the + one European chair that the room possessed. The light was so strong + that the rich, deep blue of the turban was distinctly visible in + it, but his face was in shadow. She could see, however, the noble + throat and pose of the shoulders as he sat waiting. The girl's + heart beat with a little sense of pleasure as she looked. Her feet + crept slowly a little farther into the room. A great tide of + pleasure was really just outside her heart, and would have rushed + in and overwhelmed it in waves of joy had she but opened her + heart's doors to it; but the shadow of Murad was on the bolts and + locks, and she felt afraid. The silence and great silver light in + the room oppressed her. Ahmed had not heard her enter, and had not + stirred nor looked at her. She crept a little closer. The beauty of + the majestic figure called her irresistibly. She drew closer. She + had passed one window now, and was near enough to see the jewels + flash on the slender hand that hung over the chair-arm, and the + glistening light on the embroidered Turkish slippers on his feet. + Shading her brow with one hand, Dilama came forward, fell at those + feet and kissed them. Still there was no movement, no sound. This + was so unlike Ahmed's way of treating his slaves, that the girl, + forgetting her fears, looked up in sheer surprise. Then her heart + seemed to stop suddenly, and then leap with excessive thuds of + horror against her breast. The face above her seemed carved in + stone, pale, bloodless, calm; it was set, as the girl realised in a + moment of terror and agony, in a repose that would never be broken. + The large, dark eyes, still open, gazed past her, sightless, + changeless. Fear, her fear of him, her awe, her oppressed terror + fell from her, giving way to an infinite regret, a sorrow, a sense + of loss that rushed over her, filling every cell, every atom of her + being. She, the unwilling, the reluctant, the slow-coming, the + grudging bride, now stood free. The bridegroom asked of her + nothing, demanded nothing, needed nothing, desired nothing. +</p> +<p> + The slave-girl neither shrieked nor fainted. A great, convulsive + sob tore itself from her trembling body as she rose from her knees + and bent over the sitting figure. Wildly she passed her soft, + shaking fingers across his brow, still warm, and round his throat, + seeking mechanically the wound; then her eyes fell on the gold silk + of his tunic, and just over the left breast she saw a little brown + patch, and on the left side of the chair the silver light gleamed + on a small, dark-red pool. He had been stabbed as he sat there, + waiting for her—stabbed from the back, and the dagger thrust + through to the little brown spot in the front of the tunic. And + through that tiny door his life had gone. +</p> +<p> + Lying at his feet, Dilama sobbed uncontrollably, rolling her head, + with its wonderful crown of flower-decked hair, and her pink-silk + clad body amongst the rugs on the floor. What was the worth or use + of anything now, silk or bridal attire, or beauty, or flower-decked + hair? Never would any of them now be mirrored in his eyes again. + Never could anything change that awful serenity, that implacable + silence, out of which she felt her own love, her own desire rush + upon her and devour her. Ahmed had been hers and she had shrunk + from him, and now all the blood in her body she would have given + willingly to replace that little scarlet stream that had borne away + his life. +</p> +<p> + As she lay there, weeping in an agony of despair, a dark shadow + suddenly grew in the window, and fell a black patch in the panel of + white light upon the floor. A lithe figure balanced a moment on the + ledge of the open window, then leapt with the silent elastic bound + of a cat into the room. Dilama sprang from the floor to her knees + with a smothered cry of terror. +</p> +<p> + "Murad! why have you come here?" +</p> +<p> + The Druze leant over her and caught her arm fiercely. +</p> +<p> + "To claim my own. It is not the first visit I have made to-night, + as you see," and as he dragged her up from her knees he indicated + the motionless figure beside them. +</p> +<p> + "You killed him!" she whispered, gazing up with dilated, terrified + eyes. +</p> +<p> + "Who should, if not I? Had he not taken my wife? Come, we must be + going." +</p> +<p> + With the nail-like grip on her arm, and the low, savage tones in + her ears, and the blazing eyes like a tiger's, inflamed with the + lust of murder above her, the girl felt sick and half-fainting with + fear and misery. +</p> +<p> + "He did not take me. I was always faithful, Murad. I love you. + I—" she stammered. +</p> +<p> + "It is well," returned Murad with a grim smile, "and these tears I + suppose are because I was too long absent? It is true I have been + some time: I had much to do, and then I knew I was quite safe, now + I had settled all accounts with him. Come! the caravan is ready; + the camels wait for you." +</p> +<p> + He dragged her towards the open square, the great square of the + window. Without, the night-flies and the moths danced in the silver + beams, the trees rose motionless and stately in the sultry air, the + gracious hours moved on with all the tranquil splendour of the + Oriental night. The girl threw her eyes over the sitting figure, + unmoved by all the strenuous passions fighting round it. Wildly, in + despairing agony, she stretched out her arms towards it in a vain, + unconscious passionate appeal. +</p> +<p> + The Druze struck them downwards, and gripping her unresisting body + more tightly, he leapt from the window to the slight wooden + staircase without, and, like a tiger with his prey, crept away + stealthily through the silver silence of the rose garden towards + the desert. +</p> + +<hr> +<div style="height: 6em;"><br><br><br><br><br><br></div> + +<div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 13238 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b59bbfd --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #13238 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/13238) diff --git a/old/13238-8.txt b/old/13238-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..52e77aa --- /dev/null +++ b/old/13238-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6644 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Six Women, by Victoria Cross + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Six Women + +Author: Victoria Cross + +Release Date: August 21, 2004 [EBook #13238] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SIX WOMEN *** + + + + +Produced by Janet Kegg and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed +Proofreading Team + + + + + + Six Women + + + By + VICTORIA CROSS + + + NEW YORK + MITCHELL KENNERLEY + + + * * * * * + + _BY VICTORIA CROSS_ + + LIFE'S SHOP WINDOW + ANNA LOMBARD + SIX WOMEN + SIX CHAPTERS OF A MAN'S LIFE + THE WOMAN WHO DIDN'T + TO-MORROW? + PAULA + A GIRL OF THE KLONDIKE + THE RELIGION OF EVELYN HASTINGS + LIFE OF MY HEART + + * * * * * + + + DEDICATED TO + H.M.G. AND E.F.C. + AND OUR MEMORIES OF THE EAST. + + + + +SIX WOMEN + + + +I + +CHAPTER I + + +Listless and despondent, feeling that he hated everything in life, +Hamilton walked slowly down the street. The air was heavy, and the +sun beat down furiously on the yellow cotton awnings stretched over +his head. Clouds of dust rose in the roadway as the white bullocks +shuffled along, drawing their creaking wooden carts, and swarms of +flies buzzed noisily in the yellow, dusty sunshine. Hamilton went +on aimlessly; he was hot, he was tired, his eyes and head ached, he +was thirsty; but all these disagreeable sensations were nothing +beside the intense mental nausea that filled him, a nausea of life. +It rose up in and pervaded him, uncontrollable as a physical +malady. In vain he called upon his philosophy; he had practised it +so long that it was worn out. Like an old mantle from the +shoulders, it fell from him in rags, and he was glad. He felt he +hated his philosophy only less than he hated life--hated, yet +desired as the man hates a mistress he covets, and has never yet +possessed. "Never had anything, never done anything, never felt +anything decent yet," he mused. + +He was an exceptionally handsome and attractive individual, and +though in reality forty years of age, he had the figure, the look, +and air of twenty-eight. Masses of black hair, without a white +thread, waved above a beautifully-cut and modelled face, of which +the clear bronze skin, with its warm colour in the cheeks, was not +the least striking feature. He was about six feet or a little over +in height, and had a wonderfully lithe, well-knit figure, and a +carriage full of grace and dignity. A bright, charming smile that +came easily to his face, and an air of absolute unconsciousness of +his own good looks, completed the armoury of weapons Venus had +endowed him with for breaking hearts. But Hamilton neglected his +vocation: he broke none. He got up early, and slaved away at his +duties for the Indian Civil Government in his office all day, and +went to bed dead tired at night, with nothing but a dreary +consciousness of duty done and more duty waiting for him the +following day, as a sleeping companion. + +Hamilton's life had been ruined by an early and an unsuccessful +marriage. At twenty, when full of the early, divine fires of life, +he had married a girl of his own age and rank, dazzled by the +beauty she then, in his eyes, possessed, and in that amazing +blindness to character that make women view men with wondering +contempt. His blindness, however, ended with the ceremony. On his +wedding-night the woman, who, it must be admitted, had acted her +part of loving submissiveness, of gentle devotion, admirably, +mocked at him and his genuine, ardent passion. + +How well he had always remembered her words to him as they stood +face to face in the chilly whiteness of an English bridal chamber +in midwinter! "It's no use, dear, I don't want any of this sort of +thing. It seems to me coarse and stupid, and I don't want the +bother of a dozen babies. I married because I wanted the position +of a married woman, and a nice presentable man to go about with in +society. Besides, things were not satisfactory at home, and I +wanted a man to keep me, and all that. But I don't see why you +should get into such a state of mind about it. I will keep house, +and be perfectly good and amiable, and we can go about together, of +course; only I want to keep my own room." + +And how well he remembered her as she stood there, shattering his +life with her cold, light words--a tall, slim girl, in her white +dinner dress! She had been very fair then, with a quantity of soft +flaxen hair, which shortly after she had taken to dyeing--a thing +he had always hated. She had a small, heart-shaped face, so light +in colour as to suggest anæmia, with a high, thin nose, of which +the nostrils were excessively pinched together, a short upper lip, +and a thick, quite colourless mouth, small when closed, when she +laughed opening wide far back to her throat, showing, as it seemed, +an infinite quantity of long, narrow, white, wolf-like teeth. + +How hideous she had suddenly appeared to him in those moments, seen +through the dark waves of passion she rolled back upon him! In the +hot, rosy glow she had deliberately conjured up before his eyes of +love and love returned he had thought her beautiful. Now, as she +took the veil from her mean, base mind, it fell also from her +beauty, and he saw her ugly, as she really was, body and soul. +Stunned and amazed, loathing his own folly, his own blindness, +condemning these more than he did her cruelty, Hamilton had +listened in silence while she revealed herself. When the first +shock was over, he had set himself to talk and reason with her. +Naturally intensely kind and sympathetic, it was easy for him to +see another's view, to put himself in another's place. He blamed +himself at once, more than her, for the position he now found +himself in. And patiently he tried to understand it, to find the +clue, if possible, to remedy it. He reasoned long and gently with +her, but she, knowing well the generous nature she had to deal +with, yielded not an inch. Hamilton was not the man to use force or +violence. The passions of the body, divested of their soul, were +nothing to him. On that night she struck down within him all desire +for or interest in her. He left her at last, and withdrew to +another room, where he sat through the remaining hours of the +night, looking into the face of his future. + +Shortly after, he had left for India, the corpse of dead passion +within his breast. He made a confident of no one, told no one of +his secret burden, remitted half his pay regularly to his wife with +that obedience to custom and duty as the world sees it, with that +quiet dutifulness that is so astounding to the onlooker, but +characteristic of so many Englishmen, and threw himself into his +work, avoiding women and personal relations with them. + +Such a life as this invariably calls down the anger of Venus, and +Hamilton had worn out by now the patience of the goddess. + +The tragedy of Euripides' Hippolytus is called a myth, but that +same tragedy is played out over and over again, year by year, in +all time, and is as true now as it was then. The slighted goddess +takes her revenge at last. As he walked on, the sound of some +tom-toms dulled by distance came to his ears. He hesitated at a +crossing where a side alley led down towards the bazaar, then +without thought or intention walked down the turning, the music +growing louder as he advanced. + +It came from a house some way lower down, before the open door of +which hung a large white sheet with scarlet letters on it. Hamilton +glanced up and read on it, "Dancing girls from the Deccan. +Admission, six annas. Walk in." He stared dully at it till the red +letters danced in the fierce, torrid sunlight, and the flies, +finding him standing motionless, came thickly round his face. A +puff of hot wind blew down the street, bringing the dust: it lifted +a corner of the sheet and turned it back from the doorway. Within +looked cool and dark. The entry was a square of darkness. He was +tired of the sun, the heat, the noise, the dust and the flies. With +no thought other than seeking for shelter, he stepped behind the +sheet and was in the darkness; a turnstile barred his way: on the +top of it he laid down his six annas, his eyes too full of the +yellow glare of the outside to see whom he paid: he felt the +turnstile yield, and stumbled on in the obscurity. A hand pushed +him between two curtains. Then he found himself in a low square +room, and could see about him again by the subdued light of oil +lamps fixed against the wall. At one end was the small stage, its +scarlet curtain now down; in front a row of tin lamps, primitive +footlights, and the rest of the room was filled with rows of empty +chairs. Mechanically and without interest, Hamilton went forward +and seated himself in the first of these rows. The tom-toms had +ceased: there was quiet, an interval of rest presumably for the +dancers. It was far cooler than outside, and Hamilton breathed a +sigh of relief as he sank into his seat. The dimness of the light, +the quiet, the coolness all pleased him: he had not known till he +sat down how tired he was. He might have sat there a quarter of an +hour, his mind in that state of hopeless blank that supervenes on +overmuch unsatisfactory thinking, when suddenly the tom-toms +started up again with a terrific rattle, and the scarlet curtain +was somewhat spasmodically jerked up, displaying a semicircle of +girls seated on European chairs facing the tin lamps. Two of the +seven were African girls, with the woolly hair and jet black skin +of their race; they were seated one at each end of the semicircle, +dressed in short scarlet skirts, standing out from their waist in +English ballet-girl fashion, the upper part of their bodies bare, +except for the masses of coloured glass necklaces covering their +breast from throat to waist. The next pair of girls seemed to +represent Spanish dancers, and were in ankle-long black and yellow +dresses, little yellow caps with bells depending from them sat in +amongst their masses of black hair, and they held languidly to +their sides their tambourines and castenets. Next on the chairs sat +two strictly Eastern dancers in transparent pale green gauzy +clothing held into waist and each ankle by jeweled bands. Their +pale ivory bodies shone through the filmy green muslin as the moon +shines clearly in green water, and the jewels blazed like stars +with red and blue fires at each movement of their limbs. Their +heads were crowned simply with white clematis, and the glory of +their straight-featured Circassian faces, together with the +unrivalled contours of softly moulded throat and breast and perfect +limbs, veiled only so much as a light mist may veil, would have +taken the breath away of the most inveterate frequenter of the +Alhambra and Empire in dull old England. Hamilton drew in his +breath with a little start as he first saw the semicircle, but it +was not on the Circassians that his eyes were fixed, but on the +very centre figure of that beautiful half-moon. Set in the centre, +she seemed to be considered the pearl amongst them, as indeed she +was. The mist that enveloped her was not pale green as the veils of +the other two, but white, and the beautiful perfect form that it +enclosed was of a warmer, brighter tint than theirs. + +The white films of the drapery fell from the base of her throat, +leaving her arms quite bare, but softly clinging to breast and +flanks, till a gold band resting on her hips confined it closely, +and depressed in the centre, was fastened by a single enormous +ruby, the one spot of blood-red colour upon her. Beneath the +sloping belt of gold fell her loose Turkish trousers of gleaming +white, transparent tissue, clasped at the ankles by bands of gold. +On her feet were little Turkish slippers, on her brow--nothing, but +the crown of her radiant youth and beauty. Hamilton, gazing at it +across the footlights, thought he had never seen, either pictured +or in the flesh, a face so beautiful, so full of the beauty, the +goodness, the power and wonder of life. + +The sight thrilled him. Like the power of electricity, its power +began to run along his veins, heating them, stirring them, calling +upon nerve and muscle and sense to wake up. He looked, and life +itself seemed to stream into him through his eyes. The girl's face +was a well-rounded oval, supported on the round, perfect column of +her throat; the eyes seemed pools of blackness that had caught all +the splendour and the radiance of a thousand Eastern nights. The +fires of many stars, the whole brilliance of the purple nights of +Asia were mirrored in them. Above them rose the dark, arching span +of the eyebrows on the soft warm-tinted forehead, cut in one line +of severest beauty with the delicate nose. Beneath, the curling +lips were like the flowers of the pomegranate, a living, vivid +scarlet, and the rounded chin had the contour and bloom of the +nectarine. + +She smiled faintly as she met the fixed gaze of Hamilton's eyes +across the footlights--such an innocent, merry little smile it +seemed, not the mechanical contortions one buys with pieces of +silver. Hamilton's blood seemed to catch light at it and flame all +over his body. He sat upright in his seat: gone were his fatigue, +his thirst, his eye-ache. His frame felt no more discomfort: his +whole soul rushed to his eyes, and sat there watching. In some men +their physical constitution is so closely knitted to the mental, +that the slightest shock to either instantly vibrates through the +other and works its effect equally on both. Hamilton was of this +order, and his body responded, instantly now, to the joy and +interest born suddenly in his mind. + +A moment after the curtain was rolled up, a huge negro, dressed in +a fancy dress of scarlet, and with a high cap of the same colour on +his head, came on from the side. In his hand he carried a small +dog-whip, and as he cracked it all the girls stood up. Hamilton +sickened as he looked at him: an indefinable feeling of horror came +over him as this man stalked about the stage. He pointed with his +whip to the two African girls at the end of the semicircle, and +they came forward, while the rest sat down. A horrid uneasy feeling +of discomfort grew up in Hamilton, similar to that which a lover of +animals feels, when called upon to witness performing dogs, and all +the fear and anxiety pent up in their fast-beating little hearts is +communicated to himself. He watched the girls' faces keenly as the +negro went round and placed himself behind the middle chair of the +semicircle, while the two Africans danced. Hamilton hardly noticed +their dance, a curious barbaric performance that would have been +alarming to the British matron, but was neither new nor interesting +to Hamilton. He kept his eyes fixed on the white-clothed girl in +the centre, and the sinister figure behind her chair. She seemed +calm and indifferent, and when the negro put his hand on her +shoulder looked up and listened to his words without fear or +repulsion. Hamilton, keenly alive, with every sense alert, sat in +his chair, a prey to the new and delightful feeling, not known for +years, of interest. + +Yes, he was interested, and the energetic sense of loathing for +the negro proved it. The music, loud and strident--an ordinary +Italian piano-organ having been introduced amongst the Oriental +instruments--banged on, and then abruptly came to a stop when the +negro cracked his whip. The two African women resumed their chairs, +there was some applause, and a good many small coins fell on the +stage from the hands of the audience. The second pair of girls +rose, came forward and commenced to dance, the organ playing some +appropriate Spanish airs. After these, the two Indian girls who +gave the usual _dance de ventre_ to a lively Italian air on the +organ. Then, at last, _she_ rose from her chair and approached the +footlights. The organ ceased playing, only the Indian music +continued: wild sensual music, imitating at intervals the cries of +passion. + +To this accompaniment the girl danced. + +Had any British matrons been present we must hope they would have +walked out, yet, to the eye of the artist, there was nothing coarse +or offending, simply a most beautiful harmony of motion. The girl's +beauty, her grace and youth, and the slight lissomness of all her +body lent to the dance a poetry, a refinement it would not have +possessed with another exponent. + +Moreover, though there was a certain ardour in her looks and +gestures, in the way she yielded her limbs and body to the +influence of the music, yet there was also a gay innocence, a +bright naïve irresponsibility in it that contrasted strongly with +the sinister intention underlying all the movements of the other +two Indian dancers. At the end of the dance Hamilton took a rupee +from his pocket and threw it across the tin lamps towards her feet. +She picked it up smiling, though she left the other coins which +fell on the stage untouched, and went back to her chair. + +After her dance, the great negro came forward and did a turn of his +own. Hamilton looked away. What was this man to the little circle? +he wondered. He could not keep his mind off that one query? Were +they his slaves? willing or unwilling? did they constitute his +harem? or were they paid, independent workers? His mind was made up +to get speech with this one girl, at least, that evening. This +delightful feeling of interest, this pleasure, even this keen +disgust, all were so welcome to him in the dreary mental state of +indifference that had become his habit, that he welcomed them +eagerly, and could not let them go. Beyond this there was rising +within him, suddenly and overwhelmingly, the force of Life, +indignant at the long repression it had been subjected to. Man may +be a civilized being, accustomed to the artificial restraints and +laws he has laid upon himself, but there remains within him still +that primitive nature that knows nothing, and never will learn +anything of those laws, and which leaps up suddenly after years of +its prison-life in overpowering revolt, and says, "Joy is my +birthright. I will have it!" + +This moment is the crisis of most lives. It was with Hamilton now, +and it seemed suddenly to him that twenty years of fidelity to an +unloved, unloving woman was enough. The debt contracted at the +altar twenty years before had been paid off. The promise, given +under a misunderstanding to one who had wilfully deceived him, was +wiped out. It was a marvel to him in those moments how it had held +him so long. + +Hamilton had one of those keen, brilliant minds that make their +decisions quickly, and rarely regret them. He took his resolution +now. That prisoner in revolt within him should be free; he would +strike off the fetters he had worn too long and vainly. He was +before the open book of Life, at that page where he had stood so +long. With a firm decisive hand he would take the new page, and +turn it over. That last page, on which his wife's name was written +large, was completely done with, closed. + +The old joyous spirit, the keen eagerness for love and joy and +life, the Pagan's gay rejoicing in it, that had been such a marked +feature of his disposition before his marriage, came back to him, +rushed through him, refilled him. + +His marriage, with its disillusionment, had crushed it out of him +for a time, and, with that same decisiveness that marked him now, +he had turned over the pages of youthful dreams and joys and loves, +and opened the next page of work, of strenuous endeavour, of a +hard, rigid observance of fidelity to the vows he had taken. And +for a time work and its rewards, effort and its returns, a hard, +practical life in the world amongst men, had held him. That now +was no longer to be all to him. + +His life, and such joy as it might hold for him, was to be his own +again. The joy of the decisions filled him, elated him. He felt as +if his mind had sudden wings, and could lift him with it to the +roof. + +Such a decision, when it comes, seems to oneself, as it seemed to +Hamilton now, a sudden thing. It has the force and shock of a +revelation, but it is not really sudden. The great rebellion nearly +all natures--certainly some, and these usually the greatest and +best--feel at the absence of joy in their lives had been gradually +growing within him, gathering a little strength each day. It is +only the climax of such feelings that is sudden--the awakening of +the mind to their presence. The growth has been going on day by +day, week by week, unmeasured, unreckoned with. + +Immediately the curtain fell, Hamilton left his seat and went +up to a door, reached by a few steps, on the level of the +footlights, and at the left side of them. No one hindered him. +The rest of the audience were going out. He pushed the door, +which yielded readily, and he passed through. A narrow, +white-washed, lath-and-plaster passage opened before him, at the +end of which he saw a tin lamp burning against the wall and heard +voices. + +The passage led into a three-cornered room, where he found some of +the dancers and an old woman who was huddled up on a straw mat in +the corner. The negro was not there. The girls stood about idly; +some were changing their clothes. They did not seem to heed his +presence, except the one he was seeking, who came straight towards +him. As she moved across the dirty, littered room, her limbs under +their transparent covering moved, and her head was carried with the +air of an empress. "Will the Sahib come with me?" she said in a +low, soft tone. She raised her eyes to his face. They were wide, +enquiring, like the deer's brought face to face with the hunter in +the green thickets. + +The other girls glanced towards him, and some smiles were +exchanged, but no one approached him. They seemed to understand he +was there only for the star of the troupe. Hamilton looked down +into those glorious midnight eyes fixed upon him, and a faint +colour came into his cheek. + +"I will come wherever you lead," he answered in Hindustani. These +surroundings were horrible, but the shade of them did not seem to +dim her charm. + +The scent in the air was disagreeable. Tawdry spangles and false +jewels lay about on the tumble-down settees. From behind little +doors that opened from the walls round came the sound of men's +voices. + +"Let the Sahib come this way, then," she answered, and turned +towards one of the small doors in the wall. This took them into +another tiny, musty-smelling passage that wound about like the run +of a rabbit warren, only wide enough for one to pass along at a +time, and the strips of lath were so low overhead that Hamilton +bent his neck involuntarily to avoid them. + +At a door in the side of this she stopped and pushed it open; the +little run way wound on beyond in the darkness. + +Hamilton followed her into the sloping-roofed, lath-and-plaster +pent-house that had been run up between the back of the stage and +the wall of the building. Native lamps were hooked into the wall, +and their light showed the garish ugliness of it all--the hastily +whitewashed walls, the scraps of ragged, dirty, scarlet cloth hung +here and there over a bulge or stain in the plaster: the boarded +floor, uneven and cracked: the bed against the wall, not too clean +looking, its dingy curtains not quite concealing the dingier +pillows; the broken chair on which a basin stood, placed on two +grey-looking towels; another chair with the back rails knocked out +leaning against the wall. + +He threw his gaze round it in a moment's rapid survey, then he +pressed to the rickety, uneven door and shot the bolt. + +The girl stood in the middle of the room, an exquisitely lovely +figure. She regarded him with wide, innocent eyes. Hamilton felt +all the blood alight in his veins; it seemed to him he could hear +his pulses beating. Never in his life before had joy and passion +met within him to stir him as they did now, but in natures where +there is a strong, deep strain of intellectuality the body never +quite conquers the mind, the light of the intellect never quite +goes down, however strong the sea, however high the waves of +animal passion on which it rides; and now Hamilton felt the great +appeal to his brain as well as to his senses that the girl's beauty +made. + +He went up to her. She looked at him with an intense admiration, +almost worship in her eyes. A man at such moments looks, as Nature +intended he should, his very best, and Hamilton's face, of a noble +and splendid type, lighted now by the keenest animation, held her +gaze. + +"Tell me," he said in a low tone, for footsteps passed on the +creaking boards, and gibbering voices and laughter could be heard +outside, "tell me, what is that man to you? Do you belong to him, +all of you?" + +"That...? He is not a man, he is a ... nothing," replied the girl, +looking up with calm, glorious eyes. "He can do no harm ... nor +good." + +Hamilton drew a quick breath. + +"You dance like this every evening, and then choose someone in the +audience in this way?" he questioned, slipping his hand round her +neck and looking down at her, a half-amused sadness coming into his +eyes. + +The girl shook her head with a quick negation. + +"No, I have only been here a few days--a week, I think. Did you +notice that old woman as we came through here? I belong to her; she +taught me to dance. She brought me here, and I dance for the +Nothing, but I have never taken any one like this before. The other +girls do, every night, but each night the Nothing said to me, 'No +one here to-night, good enough. Wait till an English Sahib comes.'" + +Hamilton listened with a paling cheek; his breath came and went +faintly; he hardly seemed to draw it; he put his next question very +gently, watching her open brow and proud, fearless eyes. + +"Do you know nothing of men at all, then?" + +"Nothing, Sahib, nothing," she answered, falling on her knees +suddenly at his feet, and raising her hands towards him. "This will +be my bridal night with the Sahib. The Nothing told me to please +you, to do all you told me. What shall I do? how shall I please +you?" + +Hamilton looked down upon her: his brain seemed whirling; the +pulses along his veins beat heavily; new worlds, new vistas of life +seemed opening before him as he looked at her, so beautiful in her +first youth, in her unclouded innocence, full, it is true, of +Oriental passion, with a certain Oriental absence of shame, but +untouched, able to be his, and his only. + +Before he could speak again, or collect his thoughts that the +girl's words had scattered, her soft voice went on: + +"Surely the Sahib is a god, not a man. I have seen the men across +the footlights: there were none like the Sahib. I said to my +mother, 'I do not like men, I do not want them; what shall I do?' +And my mother said, 'There is no hurry, my child; we will wait till +a rich Sahib comes.' But you are not a man, you must be a god, you +are so beautiful; and I am the slave of the Sahib, for ever and +ever." + +She looked up at him, great lights seemed to have been lighted in +the midnight pools of her eyes, the curved lips parted a little, +showing the perfect, even teeth; the rounded, warm-hued cheeks +glowed; the lids of her eyes lifted as those of a person looking +out into a new world. + +Hamilton stood looking at her, and two great seas of conflicting +emotions swept into his brain, and under their tumult he remained +irresolute. Mere instincts and nature, the common impulse of the +male to take his pleasure whenever offered, prompted him to draw +her to his breast and let her learn the great joy of life in his +arms; but some higher feeling held him back: the knowledge that the +first way in which a woman learns these things colours her whole +after estimation of them, restrained him. + +Here he saw, suddenly, there was new ground for Love to build +himself a habitation upon. Should it be but a rude shanty, loosely +constructed of Desire? Was it not rather such a fair and lovely +site that it was worthy a perfect temple, built and finished with +delicate care? + +This flower of wonderful bloom he had found by chance in such a +poor, rough garden, was it not better to carry it gently to some +sheltered spot, to transplant and keep it for his own, rather than +just tear at it with a careless touch in passing by? + +Hamilton had the brain of the artist and the poet; things touched +him less by their reality than by that strange halo imagination +throws round them. + +The sound of some shuffling steps in the passage outside, a lurch +as of some drunken and unsteady figure, some whispered words, and +then a burst of ribald laughter just outside the door, decided him. +No: her wedding night should not be here. Keen in his sympathy with +women, Hamilton knew how often that night recurs to a woman's +thoughts, and should its memories always bring back to her this +loathsome shed, these hideous sounds? + +A repulsion so great filled him that it swept back his desire for +the moment. A great eagerness to get her away unharmed, unsoiled +from such a place, filled him. Already she seemed to be part of +himself, to be a possession he must guard. His heart was empty and +hungry: by means of her beauty and this strange unexpected +innocence she had so suddenly revealed to him, she had leapt into +it, made it her own. He sat down on the mean, dingy bed, and drew +her warm, supple body into his arms: she stood within their circle +submissively, quivering with pleasure. His touch was very gentle +and reverent, for he was a man who knew the value of essentials; +his brain was keen enough to go down to them and judge of them, +undeterred and unhindered and undeceived by externals, by +fictitious emblems. He saw here that he was in the presence of a +tender, youthful, unformed mind of complete innocence, and the +abhorrent surroundings affected that essential not at all. + +A married woman in his own rank, with her dozen lovers and her +knowledge of evil, high in the favour of the world, could never +have had from him the same reverence that he gave to this +dancing-girl of the Deccan, who in the world's eyes was but a +creature put under his feet for him to trample on. + +"Would you like to leave all these people and come to live only +with me? dance only for me?" he said softly, looking into those +great wondering eyes fixed in awe upon his face. + +"Would you like to have a house to yourself, and a garden full of +flowers, and stay there with me alone?" + +The girl clasped her hands joyously, smile after smile rippled +over the brilliant face. + +"Oh, Sahib, it would be paradise! If I can stay with the Sahib, I +shall be happy anywhere. I am the slave of the Sahib. If he but use +me as the mat before his door to walk upon, I shall be content." + +Hamilton shivered. He drew her a little closer. "Hush! I do not +like to hear you say those things. You shall come to me and sleep +in my arms, but not to-night. Love is a very great thing: it will +be a great thing with us, and it must not be thought of lightly, do +you see? Will you stay here and think of me only till I come again? +Think of your bridal night with me, dream of me till I come back +for you?" + +"The Sahib's will is my law; but even if I wished, I could think of +nothing else but him till I see him again," she responded, her eyes +fixed upon his face. Hamilton gazed upon her. She made such a +lovely picture standing there: he thought he had never seen beauty +so perfect, so exquisitely fresh. The soft transparent tunic did +not conceal it, only lightly veiled its bloom. Her breasts, rounded +and firm, stood out as a statue's. They seemed to express the +vigour of her buoyant youth: they had never known artificial +support, and needed none. The waist was naturally slight, the hips +also, the straight supple limbs and round arms were the most +richly-modelled parts, perhaps, of the whole perfect form. + +Hamilton slipped his arm down to her yielding waist and drew her +closer. Then he bent his head and kissed the wonderfully-carved and +glowing mouth. With a little cry of joy the girl threw both arms +about his neck and kissed him back with a wealth of fervour in her +lips, pressing her soft bosom against his in all the natural, +unrestrained ardour of a first and new-found love. + +"Sahib, Sahib! do not leave me long. Come and take me away soon! I +am all yours! No other shall see me till you come again." + +Hamilton was satisfied. He raised his head, his whole ardent nature +aflame. + +"Dear little girl, let us go then to the old woman, and perhaps I +can pay her enough to make her take you away from here, and keep +you safe till I can come for you." + +"Come, Sahib, come!" she answered, joyfully drawing out of his +arms and running across the room; she unbolted the door and pulled +it open, nearly causing the old woman who was crouched just +outside, and apparently leaning against it, to roll into the room. + +"Saidie, Saidie! you have no respect for me," she grumbled, getting +on her feet with some difficulty. Hamilton came up, and helped to +balance her as she stood. + +"Your Saidie pleases me very much," he said, drawing out a +pocket-book. "I want to take her away from here altogether. How +much do you ask for her?" + +The old woman's beady-black eyes twinkled and gleamed, and fixed on +the pocket-book. + +"It is not possible, Sahib," she said in a grumbling tone, "for me +to part with her and her services. A girl like that with her +beauty, her dancing, her singing! She will earn gold every night. +Let the Sahib come here each evening if he will and take his turn +with the rest. For a girl like that to go to one man alone is waste +and folly." + +The colour mounted to Hamilton's face. His brows contracted. + +"What I have to say is this," he answered sternly and briefly, "I +want this girl, and if you take her with you to some place of +safety for to-night, I will come to-morrow or the next day and give +you 2000 rupees for her--no more and no less. I have spoken." + +"Two thousand rupees!" replied shrilly the old woman, "for Saidie, +the star of the dancers, and not yet fifteen! No, Sahib, no! a +Parsee will give more than that for a half hour with her." + +Hamilton caught the old creature by her skinny arm: + +"You waste your words talking to me," he said. "I am a police +magistrate, and I can have your whole place here closed, and all of +you put in prison, if I choose. The girl is willing to come with +me, and I will take her and pay you well for her. You have her +ready for me to-morrow night, or you go to prison--which you +please." The old woman shivered at the word magistrate, and fell +trembling on her knees. + +"Let the Sahib have mercy! That great black brute will kill me if +the police come here. I take Saidie to my house, the Sahib comes +there when he will. He pays, he has her. It is all finished." + +She spread out her thin black hands in a shaking gesture of +finality, and then fell forward and kissed Hamilton's boots after +the complimentary but embarrassing manner of natives. Hamilton drew +back a little. He was angered that Saidie should be witness, +auditor of all this. She stood silent, passive, gazing at the hot, +angry colour mounting to his face. He bent forward and dragged the +old woman up by her arms. + +"Take this for yourself now," he said, putting a hundred-rupee note +into her hand, "and make no more difficulty. Take every care of +Saidie, and you will have your two thousand rupees very shortly." + +The old woman seized the note, and began to mumble blessings on +Hamilton, which he cut short: "Give me the name of your street and +the house where you live, that I may find you easily," he said, and +noted down the directions she gave him. Then he turned to the girl +and put his arm round her neck. + +"Dear Saidie! I trust to you. Remember it is your innocence, your +virtue, I love more than your beauty. Do not dance nor let anyone +see you till I come again." + +He kissed her on the lips as she promised him. The soft, warm form +thrilled against him as their lips met. Then with a mental wrench +he turned and went out of the room and quickly down the dark +passage. + +At the end his way was barred by the immense form of the negro. + +"Something for me, master; do not forget me! I keep the pretty +things here for the gentlemen to see." + +Hamilton drew back with loathing. Then he reflected--it was better, +perhaps, to keep all smooth. + +He dived into his pockets and found a roll of small notes, which he +pushed into the negro's hand. The man bowed and let him pass, and +Hamilton went on out into the street. + +It was evening now. The calm, lovely golden light of an Indian +evening fell all around him as he walked rapidly back to his +bungalow. As he entered it, how different he felt from the man who +had left it that morning! How light his footstep, how bright and +keen the tone of his voice! It quite surprised himself as he called +out to his butler that he was ready for dinner. Then he bounded up +to his room humming. His very muscles were of quite a different +texture seemingly now from an hour or two ago! How the blood flew +about joyously in his body! Dear Venus! she makes us pay generally, +but who can cavil at the glorious gifts she gives? As soon as his +dinner was disposed of, and all his other servants had retired from +the room, Hamilton called his butler, Pir Bakhs, to him, and held a +long conference with that intelligent and trustworthy individual. +Hamilton was one of those men that by reason of his strikingly good +looks, his charm of manner, his consideration for others, and his +complete control over himself that never allowed him to be betrayed +into an unjust word or action was greatly liked by every one, and +simply worshipped by his servants and all those in any way in a +position dependent on him. + +When to-night Pir Bakhs was honoured by his confidence, the +servant's whole will and all his keen energies rose with delight +to serve his master. After he had listened in silence to +Hamilton's wishes, he proceeded to make himself master of the whole +scheme, detail by detail. + +"The Sahib wishes a very beautiful bungalow far out, away from the +city? I know of one house across the desert; my cousin was butler +there. The Sahib went away to England, and the bungalow is to be +let furnished. Have I the Sahib's permission to go down to bazaar, +see my cousin to-night? I make all arrangements. I go to-morrow +morning; I get cook and all other servants. I stay there and make +all ready for the Sahib to-morrow evening." + +Hamilton smiled at the man's eagerness to serve him. He knew well +that secretly in his heart his Mahommedan butler had always +deplored the severely monastic style in which he had lived, the +absence of women in his master's bungalow, the emptiness of his +arms that should have had to bear his master's children, and that +he now was ready to welcome heartily his master's reformation. + +"Could you really do all that, Pir Bakhs?" he asked; "and can you +assure me that the house is a good one, and has the compound been +well kept up?" + +"The house is about the same as this, but not quite so large. It is +in the oasis of Deira, across the desert. The Sahib knows how well +the palms grow there. My cousin tells me the compound is very +large; the Sahib there kept four malis;[1] very fine garden, many +English roses there." + +[Footnote 1: Gardeners.] + +"English roses I do not care for, Pir Bakhs," returned Hamilton +with a melancholy smile. "The roses of the East are far fairer to +me." + +The butler bowed with his hand to his forehead. He took his +master's speech as a gracious compliment to his country. + +"Everything grow there," he answered, spreading out his hands: +"pomegranates, bamboo, mangoes, bananas, sago palm, cocoanut palm, +magnolia--everything. I go to-morrow, I engage malis; I have all +ready for the Sahib." + +"Very well, I trust you with it all. I shall keep on this house +just as it is, and leave most of the servants here. You and your +wives must come out with me, and you engage any other necessary +servants and hire any extra furniture you want." + +"The Sahib is very good to his servant," returned the butler, his +face lighting up joyfully. "When will the Sahib shed the light of +his countenance on the bungalow?" + +"I will try to run out to see it, to-morrow, after office hours," +replied Hamilton, "if you will have all ready by then. I shall look +over it, and return to dine here as usual. Then about ten or later, +I will come over and bring your new mistress out with me. You must +have a good supper waiting for us. Take over all the linen and +plate you may want, but see that enough is left in this house so +that I can entertain the English Sahibs here if I want to, and let +my riding camel be well fed early. I shall use him for coming and +going. That's all, I think." + +The butler bowed, and retired radiant with joyous importance, and +Hamilton sat on alone by the table thinking. The blood ran at high +tide along his veins, his eyes glowed, looking into space. Life, he +thought, what a joyous thing it was when it stretched out its hands +full of gifts! + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +The following afternoon, directly his work at the office was +finished, he went out to the oasis in the desert to look at his new +possession, his bungalow in the palms. + +The moment he saw it peeping out from amongst them, and surrounded +by roses, he expressed himself satisfied, and named the place +Saied-i-stan, or the place of happiness. + +The butler met him there; he was bursting with self-importance. + +"You leave everything to me, Sahib--everything. I know all the +Sahib wants. He shall have all. Let him come, ten o'clock, nine +o'clock, no matter when; all quite ready. I am here. I have +everything waiting for the Sahib." + +Hamilton smiled and praised him, and went back to the station; took +a pretence of dinner and a hurried cup of coffee, and then went +down into the bazaar with the precious bit of paper containing the +directions to Saidie's dwelling-place in his breast pocket. + +He found the house at last, and, going in at the doorless +entrance, climbed patiently the wooden stairs that ran straight up +from it in complete darkness. On the topmost landing--a frail +wooden structure that creaked beneath his feet--he paused, and +rapped twice on the door opposite him. + +His heart beat rapidly as he stood there; the blood seemed flying +through it. All the strength of his vigorous body seemed gathering +itself together within him, all the fire of his keen, hungry brain +leapt up, and waiting there in the dark on the narrow landing he +knew the joy of life. + +The door was opened. In a moment his eye swept round the interior +of the high windowless room. The floor was bare, with mats here and +there, and in the centre stood a flat pan of charcoal, glowing +under a closed and steaming cooking-pot. At one end a coarse chick, +suspended from a wooden bar, dropped its long lines to the floor, +and behind this, on some cushions, sat Saidie with another of the +dancing-girls. + +The old woman who had opened the door, salaamed, touching the floor +with her forehead as Hamilton walked in, and then securely shut and +fastened the door behind him. Saidie rose and looked through the +shimmering lines of the chick at him as he entered. + +Very handsome the tall commanding figure looked in the mean, bare +room: the long neck and well-modelled head, with its black, +close-cut hair, stood out a noble relief against the colourless +wall, and the clear brown skin, with the warm tint of quick blood +in it that showed above the English collar, arrested the girl's +eyes with a keen thrill of joy. Looking at him, she felt rushing +through her the passionate delight that self-surrender to such a +man would be. Without waiting to be summoned, she parted the lines +of the chick, came out from them, and fell on her knees at his +feet. + +The heat in the shut-up room was very great, and she was wearing +only a straight white muslin tunic, through which all the soft +beauty of her form could be seen, as an English face is seen +through a veil. Her hair was looped back from her brows and tied +simply with a piece of green ribbon, as an English girl's might +have been, and flowed in its thick, black glossy waves to her +waist. + +Hamilton bent over her and raised her in his arms, feeling in that +moment, though the whole universe were reeling and rocking round +him to its ruin, he would care nothing while he pressed that soft +breast to his. + +The old woman sat down cross-legged by the charcoal, and began to +fan it. + +The other girl behind the chick looked out curiously, but her eyes +never noted the strength and beauty of Hamilton's figure, nor the +bright glow in the oval cheek: she looked to see if he wore rings +on his fingers, and tried to catch sight of the links in his cuffs +to see if they were silver or gold. + +Saidie had the divine gift of passion: all the fire of the gods in +her veins. Zenobie had none, and Saidie's joy now was something she +could not understand. + +"Have you come to take me away, now at once?" Saidie murmured in a +soft, passionate whisper close to his ear, and the accent of joy +and delight went quivering down through the deepest recesses of the +man's being. + +"Yes: are you ready to come with me?" Needless question! put only +for the supreme pleasure of listening to its answer. + +"Oh, more than ready," whispered the soft voice back. "How shall +the slave explain her longing to her lord?" + +Zenobie had come round the chick, while they stood by the door, and +drawn forward the one little low wooden stool that they possessed. +She came up now, and pulled at Saidie's sleeve. + +"Let the Sahib be seated," she said reprovingly, and Saidie let her +arms slip from his neck and drew him forward to the stool by the +charcoal pan. + +With some difficulty Hamilton drew up his long legs and seated +himself cautiously on the small seat; Saidie and Zenobie sat +cross-legged on the ground close to his feet. The old woman ceased +to fan the fire; the bright red glow of the coals fell softly on +the strong, noble beauty of the man's face, and Saidie, looking up +to it, sat speechless, her bosom heaving, her lips parted, her dark +eyes full of mysterious fires, melting, swimming, behind their veil +of lashes. + +Zenobie watched her with curiosity: what did she feel for this +infidel who wore no rings and only silver in his cuffs? + +Hamilton, as soon as he was seated, drew out his pocket-book--old +and worn, for he spent little on himself--and opened it. + +The old woman sat up. Zenobie's eyes gleamed: the business was +going to commence. Only Saidie did not stir nor move her eyes from +his face. + +"Two thousand rupees was the price agreed upon; here it is," he +said, taking out a thick bundle of notes that occupied the whole +inside of the poor, limp pocket-book; and as the old woman +stretched out a skinny claw for them and began to slowly count +them, he turned his gaze away, on to the upturned face of the girl +watching him with sensual adoration. + +The old woman counted through the notes, and then securely tied +them into the end of her chudda. + +"The sum is the due sum, well counted," she said, looking up; "and +when will my lord take his slave?" + +"To-night," Hamilton replied briefly, but not without a swift +enquiring glance into the girl's eyes. Though he had bought and +paid for her, he could not get out of the Western knack of +considering that the girl's desires had to be consulted. + +The old woman raised her hands in affected horror. + +"To-night! But she is not well clothed, she is not bathed and +anointed; the bridal robes are not prepared. My lord, it cannot +be!" + +Hamilton looked at Saidie; she crept to his side and put her head +on his breast. + +"Yes, to-night, take me to-night," she murmured eagerly; he smiled, +and put his arm around her. + +"The bridal clothes are of no consequence," he answered decisively. +"My camel waits below. I will take her to-night." + +"She has no shoes," objected the old woman. "She cannot descend the +stairs." + +"I will carry her down," replied Hamilton, and, springing up from +the little stool, he stooped over the lovely form at his feet, +raising her into his arms, close to his breast. Saidie clung to his +neck with a little cry of pleasure, her bare, warm-tinted feet hung +over his arm. + +The old woman gasped: Zenobie laughed. The Englishman looked so +big, so immensely strong. The weight of Saidie, tall and +well-developed as she was, seemed as nothing to him. + +"Zenobie, will you hold the lamp at the doorway, that he may see +his way?" Saidie cried out, slipping off a thin gold circlet she +wore on her arm, and letting it drop into the other's hands. + +"Farewell, Zenobie; may you be always as happy as I am now." + +Zenobie caught the bracelet and ran to the wall, unhooked the lamp +that hung there, and came to the door. + +"Farewell, my mother," Saidie said, as they turned to it. + +"Farewell, my daughter; be submissive to the Sahib, and obey him in +all things." + +The door was opened, and by the dim, uncertain light of Zenobie's +lamp, Hamilton, clasping his warm, living burden, went slowly and +heavily down the bending stairs, feeling the life brimming in every +vein. + +Outside, in the tranquil splendour of the starry Eastern night, +knelt the camel, peacefully awaiting its lord, and as Hamilton +approached it with his burden, it turned its head and large, liquid +eyes upon him with a gurgle of pleasure. + +"The camel loves Hamilton Sahib," murmured the girl, as he set her +on the soft red cloth laid over the animal's back, which formed the +only saddle. He took his own place in front of her. + +"Hold to my belt firmly," he told her, gathering into his hand the +light rein. "Are you ready for him to rise?" + +He felt her little, soft hands glide in between his belt and waist. + +"Yes, I am quite ready," she answered, and at a word of +encouragement, the great beast rose with its slow, stately swing to +its feet, and Hamilton guided it towards the Meidan. The soft, hot +air stirred against their faces as they moved through the night. + +Nothing could present a more lovely picture than the bungalow that +evening. A low, white house, looking in the moonlight as if built +of marble, surrounded by masses of palms which threw a delicate +tracery of shadow upon it and drooped their beautiful, fan-like, +feathery branches over it, between it and the jewelled sky. + +A light verandah ran around the lower of the two stories, +completely covered by the white, star-like bloom of the jessamine +that poured forth floods of fragrance like incense on the hot, +still air, and a giant pink magnolia rioted over the wide porch of +lattice-work. Within it was brightly lighted, and a warm glow from +shaded lamps came out from each window, stealing softly through the +veil of scented jessamine and falling on the masses of pink roses +surrounding the house. + +The deep peace, the sweet scent in the silence, the kiss of the +moonlight and the starlight on the sleeping flowers, the exquisite +form of the shadows on the white wall, filled Hamilton with +pleasure: each sense seemed subtly ministered to; he felt as if +invisible spirits round him were feeding him with ambrosia. + +He turned round to Saidie as the camel slowly and majestically +entered the compound gate, and saw her clearly framed in the soft +silver light; all this wondrous beauty round them seemed to be to +her beauty but as the harmonies that in an opera float round the +central air. And she smiled as he turned upon her. + +"How do you like your new house, Saidie?" he said, half laughing as +he leant back to her. + +"Surely it is Paradise, Sahib," she murmured back in awestruck +tones. + +Within the door waited the servants to welcome them in a double +line, and as Saidie entered, they fell flat with their faces on the +floor. She passed through the prostrate row saluting them, and on +to the foot of the stairs. The ayah that the butler had engaged +rose and followed her mistress upstairs, where she was ushered into +her bath and dressing-room; while the butler, swelling with +importance and joyous pride, led Hamilton to the large room he had +prepared as a bedroom on the first floor. As they went in Hamilton +gave a murmur of approval very dear to the man's heart, as he heard +it, standing respectfully by the door. + +The room was large, and two windows, draped with curtains, stood +open to the soft night. + +The bed in the centre of the room was one of the wide Indian +charpais which are unrivalled for comfort, and glimmered softly +white beneath its filmy mosquito curtains in the lamplight shed by +four handsome rose-shaded lamps. Small tables stood everywhere, +bearing vases of fresh flowers, roses, and stephanotis; a rich, +deep rose-coloured carpet spread all over the floor, with only a +small border of chetai visible round the walls; and two easy-chairs +of the same colour and numerous smaller ones piled up with cushions +completed the equipment of the room. The air was full of scent, and +the scheme of colour in the room perfect. Nothing but rose and +white was allowed to meet the eye. The flowers were selected with +this view, and the great bowls of roses all blushed the same +glorious tint through the snowy whiteness of the stephanotis. + +The room suggested, in its softly-lighted glow of pink and white, a +bridal chamber. + +Hamilton turned to his servant with a pleased smile on his +handsome, animated face. + +"You are an artist, Pir Bakhs, and a sort of magician, to do all +this in twelve hours." + +Pir Bakhs bowed and salaamed by the door, his well-formed polished +face wreathed in many smiles. + +Downstairs the girl was already waiting for her lord, bathed, and +with her long hair shaken out and brushed after the dust of the +desert ride, and looped back from her forehead by a fresh green +ribbon. She did not sit down, but stood waiting. + +This room showed the same care as the upper one, and the table was +laid out with Hamilton's plate and glass and four beautiful +epergnes held the flowers. + +Natives are artists, particularly in colour arrangements; the whole +colour scheme here was white and green, and any table in Belgravia +would have had hard work to equal this one. Saidie stood looking at +it, and the servants, already ranged by the sideboard, stood with +their eyes on the ground, yet conscious of her wonderful beauty, +and pleased by it in the same way that they would have felt pride +and pleasure in the beauty and good condition of a new horse or +camel acquired by their master. + +After a few minutes Hamilton came down. He had put on his evening +clothes as they had been laid out for him by the bearer, and +looked radiant as he entered. + +Saidie gave a little cry as she saw him. His present dress, well +cut and close-fitting, showed his splendid figure to greater +advantage than the loose suit she had seen him in hitherto. His +long neck carried his fine, spirited head erect, and the masses of +thick, black hair, with just the least wave in it, shone in the +lamplight. His well-cut face, with its gay animation and charming, +debonair, unaffected expression, made a kingly and perfect picture +to the girl's dazzled eyes. + +As they took their places and their soup was served, she could not +detach her gaze from his face. + +He laughed as he looked at her. + +"Come, you must be hungry. Take your soup while it's hot; don't +waste your time looking at me." + +"Sahib, I cannot help looking at you. You are so wonderful to me! +Please give me leave to. I do not want any soup." + +Hamilton, who by this time had finished his own, leant back in his +chair and laughed again, looking at her with eyes blazing with +mirth and passion. This innocent, genuine admiration was very +pleasing to him in its flattery; this worship offered to himself, +rather than his gifts, was something new to him, and the girl's +beauty sent all the fires of life in quick streams through his +frame as he looked on it. He was alive for the first time in his +existence, and filled with a surprised happiness as great as the +girl's. He was as virgin to joy as she was to love. "You are the +dearest little girl I ever knew," he said; "but if you won't take +soup, you must eat fish. Yes, I positively refuse you my permission +to look at me till you have finished that whole plate." + +Saidie dropped her eyes to her fish very submissively at this, +while Hamilton himself filled her glass. + +"Have you ever tasted wine?" he asked. "This is champagne; drink +it, and tell me what you think of it." + +"All my people are Mahommedans; we do not drink wine," Saidie +replied, taking up the glass and sipping from it. + +"Perhaps you won't like it," he suggested, watching her. + +"If the Sahib gives it to me I shall like it," replied Saidie, +smiling at him over the delicate golden glass: it threw its light +upwards into her great gleaming eyes, and Hamilton kissed the +little hand that put the glass gently down on the table again. + +Next after the fish came game and joints, course after course, more +food in that one meal than Saidie was accustomed to see for many +people for a week. Her own appetite was soon satisfied, and she sat +for the most part gazing at Hamilton, with her hands tightly locked +together in her lap: such a nervous delight filled her, such a +strange joy in knowing herself to be alive, to be possessed of a +beautiful body that by reason of its beauty was worthy the caresses +of a man like this; such a pure rapture animated every fibre, to +realise that it was in her power to give pleasure to him. With such +feelings as these no faintest hint of humiliation or degradation +could mingle. Saidie felt only that superb and joyous pride that +Nature originally intended the female to have in her surrender to +the male. + +Her very breath seemed to flutter softly with joyous trepidation +and excitement as it passed over her lips. That she was to be his, +held in his arms, admitted to his embrace, seemed to her to be the +crown of her life, an honour given by special divine favour. + +So must Rhea Sylvia have felt praying before her Vestal altar when +Mars first appeared to her startled eyes. + +And Hamilton, with his keen, sensitive temperament, saw into her +mind clearly, and was fully aware of all this fervent adoration, +this intense passionate worship springing within her; and an +immense tenderness and reverence grew up within him, enclosing all +his passion as the crystal vessel encloses the crimson wine. + +That she would not in her present state have shrunk or flinched +from a knife, if only his hand held it while it wounded her, he +knew quite well, and this wonderful voluntary self-sacrifice which +is the soul of all female passion appealed to him as a very holy +thing. + +He knew that constantly this adoring love was poured out by women +for men, that almost every virgin heart beats with this same +worship as the first pain of love enters it, but ah! for how short +a time! How quickly the man tears open those eyes that would so +willingly be closed to his vileness! how soon come the infidelity, +the lies and the meanness, the trickery and the treachery! How +assiduously the man teaches the woman who loves him that there is +nothing in him worthy of adoration, not even admiration, not even +decent respect! How little confidence, how little credence she soon +gives to his word that was once so sacred to her! How in her heart, +though her lips say nothing, is that once rapturous worship changed +into a measureless contempt! + +Men persistently teach women that they must not expect the best +from them, but the lowest. And the women cry in pain as they see +the white mantle of their love trampled upon and dragged in the +mire of lies and falseness, and they take it back from the base +hands and burn it in the fires kindled in their outraged hearts. +Something of this flashed through Hamilton's brain as he met the +adoring trust and love in the girl's eyes, and an unspoken vow +formed itself within him that he would not deceive and betray it, +that his lips should not lie to her, that to the end he would be to +her as she now saw him in the glamour of those first hours. + +When he had tempted her to every sweet and bon-bon on the table, +and made her drink all the wine he thought good for her, he sent +the servants away, and they remained alone together in the +dining-room with their coffee before them. He put his arm round +her, and drawing her out of her own chair, took her on to his knees +and pressed her head down on his shoulder. + +"Are you not tired with that long ride on the camel?" he asked. + +"No, Sahib, I am not tired." + +The soft weight of her body pressed upon him; her lids drooped over +her eyes as her head leaned against his neck. + +"I think you are tired and very sleepy," he repeated, pinching the +glowing arm in its transparent muslin sleeve. + +"If the Sahib says so, I must be," responded Saidie quite simply. + +"Come, then, and sleep," he said in her ear, and they went +upstairs. + +Saidie gave a little cry of delight as they entered together the +rose-filled room, and beyond its soft shaded lights she saw the +great flashing planets in the dark sky. + +"This is a different and a better home for love than we had last +night," said Hamilton softly, as he closed the door. + +A great peace reigned all round them. Within and without the +bungalow there was no sound. The lights burned steadily and +subdued, the sweet scent of the flowers hung in the air like a +silent benediction upon them. + +He put his arm round her, and felt her tremble excessively as his +hand unfastened the clasp of her tunic. He stopped, surprised. + +"Why do you tremble so? Are you afraid of me?" he asked, looking +down upon her, all the tenderness and strength of a great passion +in his eyes. + +"No, no," she returned passionately, "I tremble because great waves +of happiness rush over me at your touch. I cannot tell you what I +feel, Sahib; the love and happiness within me is breaking me into +fragments." + +"Then you must break in my arms," he murmured back softly, drawing +her into his embrace, "so that I shall not lose even one of them." + + * * * * * + +In the morning a flood of sunlight rushing into the room through +the open windows, bringing with it the gay chatter of birds, roused +the lovers. Hamilton opened his eyes first, and, lifting his head +from the pillow, looked down upon Saidie still asleep beside him. +In the rich mellow light of the room her loveliness glowed under +his eyes like a jewel held in the sun. He hardly drew his breath, +looking down upon her. Her heavy hair, full of deep purplish +shades, and with the wave in it not unusual in the Asiatic, was +pushed off the pale, pure bronze of the forehead, on which were +drawn so perfectly the long-sweeping Oriental brows. The nose, +delicately straight, with its proud high-arched nostrils, and the +tiny upper lip, led the eye on to the finely-carved Eastern mouth, +of which the lips now were softly, firmly folded in repose. How +exquisitely Nature had fashioned those lips, putting more elaborate +work in those lines and curves of that one feature than in the +whole of an ordinary English face. Hamilton hung over her, filled +with a passion of tenderness, watching the gentle breath move +softly the warm column of bronze throat and raise the soft, full +breast. + +Passion, in its highest phase, is indeed the supreme gift of the +gods. In giving it to a mortal for once they forget their envy: for +once they raise him to their level; for that once they grant him +divinity. + +Hamilton now marvelled at himself. The whole fruit of his forty +years of life--all that accomplished work, success, wealth, +rewarded worth, satisfied ambition, all the pleasures his youth, +his health and strength, and powers had always brought him, crushed +together--could not equal this: the charm and ecstasy with which he +gazed down on this warm beauty of the flesh beside him. + +And yet he knew that it was not really in that flesh, not even in +that beauty, that lay the delight. It was in himself, in his own +intense desire, and the gratification of it, that the joy had +birth; and if the gods give not this desire, no matter what else +they give, it is useless. + +The girl might have been as lovely, Hamilton himself, and all the +circumstances the same, yet waking thus he might have been but the +ordinary poor, cold, clay-like mortal a man usually is. But the +great desire for this beauty that had flamed up within him, now in +its possession, gave him that fervour and fire, those wings to his +soul, that seemed to make him divine. It was for him one of those +moments for which men live a life-time, as he indeed had done, but +they repay him when they come. To some, they come never. To these +life must indeed be dark. + +Suddenly the girl opened her eyes; the fire in his bent upon her +seemed to electrify and thrill her into life, and with a little +murmur of delight she stretched up her rounded arms to him. + +At breakfast Hamilton regretted he should have to leave her all +day; what would she do? + +"You must not think of it, Sahib," she answered. "Have I not the +garden? I shall be quite happy. I shall sing all day long to the +flowers about my lord, and count the minutes till he comes back." + +The office did not attract Hamilton at all that day, yet he felt it +was better to attend there as usual, to make no break in his usual +routine. + +Scandal there was sure to be, sooner or later, about his +desert-bungalow, but at least it was better not to give to the +scandal-mongers the power to say he had neglected his duties. Yet +he lingered over his departure, and took her many times into his +arms to kiss her before he went, keeping his impatient Arab waiting +at the door. He would not use the camel again this morning, but +left it resting in its corner of the compound beneath the palms. + +After Hamilton had gone, Saidie stepped through the long window +into the verandah, full of green light, completely shaded as it was +by the giant convolvulus that spread all over it. The chetai +crushed softly under her feet, and she went on slowly to the end +where it opened to the compound. Here she stood for a moment gazing +into the wilderness of beauty of mingled sun and shade before her. + +Against the dazzling blue of the sky the branches of the palms +stood out in gleaming gold, throwing their light shade over the +masses of crimson and white and yellow roses that rioted together +beneath. Groves of the feathery bamboo drooped their delicate +stems in the fervent, sweet-scented heat, over the white, +thick-lipped lilies, from one to other of which passed languidly +on velvet wings great purple butterflies. + +The pomegranate trees made a fine parade of their small, exquisite +scarlet flowers, and pushed them upwards into the sparkling +sunlight through the veils of white starry blossoms of the +jessamine that climbed over and trailed from every tree in the +compound. + +The girl went forward dreaming. How completely, superbly happy she +was! And she had nothing but the gifts of Nature, such as she, the +kindly one, gives to the gay bird swinging on the bough, the +butterfly on the flower, the deer springing on the hills: health +and youth, beauty and love. + +These only were hers; nothing that man ordinarily strives +for--neither wealth nor fame, fine houses, costly garments, jewels, +slaves, power; none of these were hers. Over her body hung simply a +muslin tunic worth a few annas; of the garden in which she stood +not a flower belonged to her, no weight of jewels lay on her happy +heart. She had no name; she was only a dancing-girl from the +Deccan. With the animals she shared that wonderful kingdom of joy +that they possess: their food and mate secured, their vigorous +health bounding in their limbs, their beauty radiant in their +perfect bodies. + +Are they not the Lords of Creation in the sense that they are lords +of joy? Man is the slave of the earth, doomed by his own vile lusts +to bondage of the most dismal kind. All of those gifts that Nature +gives, and from which alone can be drawn happiness, he tramples +beneath his feet, putting his neck under the yoke of ceaseless +toil, striving for things which in the end bring neither peace nor +joy. + +All within the compound under the reign of Nature rejoiced. The +parroquets swung on the trees, and the butterflies floated from the +marble whiteness of the lily's cloisters to the deep, warm recesses +of the rose, and the dancing-girl walked singing through the +sparkling, scented air thinking of her lord. + +Hamilton, speeding down the dusty, burning road to his office in +the native city, felt a strange bounding of his heart as his +thoughts clung to the low, white bungalow amongst the palms +outside the station, and all that it held for him. + +He went through his work that day with a wonderful energy, born of +the new life within him. Nothing fatigued, nothing worried him. The +court-house air did not oppress him. He heard the pleadings and +made his decisions with ease and promptitude. His patience, +gentleness, his clearness and force of brain were wonderful. The +whole electricity of his body was satisfied: the man was perfectly +well and perfectly happy. Who cannot work under such conditions? In +the evening his horse was brought round, and with a wild leaping of +the heart he swung himself into the saddle. The animal felt +instantly the elation of his master, and at once broke into a +canter; as this was not checked, he threw up his lovely head, and +as Hamilton turned across the plain, let himself go in a long +gallop towards where the palms glowed living gold against the +rose-hued sky. + +Hamilton had hardly passed through the white chick into the +interior of the house before he heard the sound of bare feet upon +the matting, and through the soft magnolia-scented, pinky gloom of +the room, shaded from the sunset light, Saidie came and fell at his +knees, taking his dusty hands and kissing them. + +Hamilton lifted her up, and held her a little from him, that he +might feast his eyes on the delicate beautiful carving of the lips, +and on the great velvet eyes, soft, round throat, and breasts +swelling so warmly lovely under the transparent gauze. + +Then he crushed her up in his arms close to his breast, and carried +her to their own room with the golden and green chicks all round +it, where the servants did not come without a summons. The garland +she had twisted on her head smelt sweetly of roses, and the masses +of her silky hair of sandal-wood; her soft lips, that knew so well +instinctively the art of kissing, were on his; the warm, tender +arms clasped his neck. All the way that he carried her she murmured +little words of passion in his ear. + +After dinner the servants carried chairs for them into the +verandah, with a small table laden with drinks and sweetmeats, that +they might sit and watch the moon rising behind the palms in the +compound, and see the hot silver light pour slowly through their +exquisite branches and foliage. + +"How did you amuse yourself all day?" he asked her as she sat on +his knee, his arm round the flexible, supple waist pulsating under +the silky web of her tunic. + +"I was so happy. I had so much to do, so much to think of," she +answered, gazing back into his eyes bent upon her, and eagerly +drawing in their fire. "I wandered in the compound and made garland +after garland, then I sang to my rabab and practised my dancing. In +the heat I went in and slept on my lord's bed dreaming of him--ah! +how I dreamt of him!" She broke off sighing, and those sighs fanned +the blazing fires in the man's veins. + +"You were quite contented, then, with your day?" + +"How could I not be contented when I had my lord to think about, +his love of last night, his love of the coming night?" + +Hamilton sighed and smiled at the same time. + +"English wives need more than that to make them content," he +answered. + +"English wives," repeated Saidie, with her laugh like the sound of +a golden bell; "what do they know of love?" + +"Not much certainly, I think," replied Hamilton. + +For a moment the vision of a thin blonde face, with its expression +of sour discontent, rose before him. What had he not given that +woman--what had she not demanded? Extravagant clothes to deck out +her tall lean body, a carriage to drive her here and there, a +mansion to live in, all the money he could gain by constant +work--these things she demanded because she was his wife, and he +had given them, and yet she was always discontented, simply because +she was one of those women who do not know desire nor the delight +of it. This one had nothing but that divine gift, and it made all +her life joy. + +"Dance for me now in the cool," murmured Hamilton in the little +fine curved ear with the rose-bud just over it. + +Saidie slipped off his knee, and fastening the little gilt link at +her neck more securely, drew her soft filmy garment more closely to +her, and commenced to dance before him in the screened verandah, +with the hot moonlight, filtered through the delicate tracery; of +innumerable leaves falling on her smooth, warm-tinted body. + +To please him, to please him, her lord, her owner, her king: it was +the one passion in her thoughts, and it flowed through every limb +and muscle, glowed in her eyes, quivered on her parted lips, and +made each movement a miracle of sweet sinuous grace. + +The soft, hot night passed minute by minute, the scents of a +thousand flowers mingled together in the still violet air. Some +white night-moths came and fluttered round the exquisite form on +whose rounded contours the light played so softly, and Hamilton lay +back in his chair, silent, absorbed, hardly drawing his breath +through his lungs, shaken by the nervous beating of his heart. +Motionless he lay there, almost breathless, for the wine of life +was in all his veins, mounting to his head, intoxicating him. + +"I am very tired; may I stop now?" came at last in a low murmur +from the curved lips so sweetly smiling at him, and the whole soft +body drooped like a flower with fatigue. Hamilton opened his arms +wide. She saw how the fresh colour glowed in the handsome cheek, +how his splendid neck swelled as the red deer's in November, how +the dark eyes blazed upon her. + +"Come to me," he commanded, and she flew to his arms as the +love-bird flies upward to her mate in the pomegranate tree. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +For three months Hamilton and Saidie lived in the white bungalow in +the palms, and drank of the wine of life together, and were happy +in the overwhelming intoxication it gives. + +For three months Saidie lived there, never going beyond the +precincts of the house and the palace of flowers that was the +compound. + +Why should she leave them? What had she to gain by going out into +the dusty way? What had she to seek? Her garden of Eden, her +Paradise, was here. She was too wise to go beyond its limits. + +Pedlars and merchants of all sorts brought their best and richest +wares to her, and Hamilton sat by her in the verandah, commanding +her to buy all that pleased her, though she protested she needed +nothing. + +Jewels for her neck, and gold anklets and bracelets, and robes and +sweetmeats were laid out before her. Only the best of the bazaar +was brought, and of this again only the best was chosen. And when +Hamilton was not there she walked from room to room singing, +clothed in purple silken gauze, with his jewels blazing on her +breast, his kisses still burning on her lips. Then she would take +her rabab and play to the listening flowers, or practise her +dancing, the source of his pleasure, or lie in the noonday heat on +the edge of the bubbling spring that rose up in the moss under the +boughain-villia and look towards the East and dream of his +home-coming. What did she want more? + +Hamilton now lived the enchanted life of one who is wholly absorbed +in a secret passion. He was wise--more wise than men generally +are--and made no effort to parade his treasure. This wonderful +exotic, this flower of happiness, that bloomed so vividly in the +dark, secluded recesses of his heart, how did he know that the +destructive heat and light of publicity might not fade and sear +its marvellous petals? He told no one of his life; took no one out +into the desert with him, to the bungalow among the palms. + +He was away a great deal. His work and certain social duties +claimed a large part of his day, and during all that time he had to +leave her alone with her flowers, but this gave him no anxiety. It +was not a dangerous experiment, as it always is to leave a European +woman alone. He knew that Saidie, the Oriental, would spend the +whole time dreaming of him, longing for him, singing to the flowers +of him, talking to her women-attendants of him, filling the whole +garden and house with his image till the longed-for moment of his +return. + +And to Hamilton, full of unspoiled life and vigour, this security, +this certainty of her complete fidelity was a wondrous charm. + +Unlike a man of jaded passions, who requires his love to be +constantly stimulated by the fear of imminent loss, Hamilton, full +of unused strength, and thirsty after the joy of life, now that the +cup was offered him, drank of it naturally and with ecstasy, +needing no salt and bitter olives of jealousy between the +draughts. + +For years he had longed for love and happiness: at last he had +found both, and with simple, uncavilling thankfulness he clasped +them to his breast and held them there, content. + +Saturday and Sunday were their great days. Hamilton left the office +at two on Saturday afternoon, and was back at the bungalow by five. + +They went to bed early that night, and rose on the Sunday morning +with the first glimmer of dawn. Everything would be prepared +overnight for a day's excursion and picnic in the desert, which +Saidie particularly delighted in. + +The great brown camel, fat and sleek like all Hamilton's animals, +and with an enormous weight of rich hair on his supple neck, would +be kneeling waiting for them below in the dewy compound, while the +early tender light stole softly through the palms; and they would +mount and go swinging out through the great open spaces of the +desert, full of delicate white light, towards the sister-oasis of +Dirampir, where masses of cocoanut palms grew round a set of +springs, and waved their branches joyfully as they drew in the salt +nourishment of the air from the amethystine sea not fifty miles +distant. + +Into the shelter of these palms they would come as the first great +golden wave of light from the climbing sun broke over the desert, +and, descending from the camel, walk about in the groves by the +spring, and select a place for boiling their kettle and having +their breakfast. The long ride in the keen air of the morning gave +them great appetites, and they enjoyed it in the whole joyous +beauty of the scene round them. The palm branches over them grew +gold against the laughing blue of the sky, a thousand shafts of +sunlight pierced through the fan-like tracery, the golden orioles +at play darted, chasing each other from bough to bough, the spring +bubbled its cool musical notes beside them, and the sense of the +blighting heat of the ravening desert round them seemed to +accentuate the beauty of the peace and shade in the oasis. + +Saidie enjoyed these days beyond everything, and would sit singing +at the foot of a palm, weaving a garland of white clematis for +Hamilton's handsome head as it rested on her lap. + +No English people ever came to the oasis; as a matter of fact, the +English generally do avoid the best and most beautiful spots in or +near an Indian station; but the place was greatly beloved by the +natives who came there to doze and dream, play, sing, and weave +garlands in the usual harmless manner in which a native takes his +pleasure. Looking at them standing or sitting in their harmonious +groups against a background of golden light and delicate shade, +Hamilton often thought how well this scene compared with that of +the Britisher taking a holiday--Hampstead Heath, for instance, with +its noisy drunkenness, its spirit of hateful spite, its ill-used +animals, its loathsome language. The Oriental endeavours to enjoy +himself, and his method is generally peaceful and poetic: the +singing of songs, the weaving of garlands, and the letting alone of +others. The Briton's idea of enjoying himself is extremely simple; +it consists solely in annoying his neighbours. + +To see a handsome English Sahib here was to the habitual +frequenters of the oasis something rather remarkable, but these +people are early taught the custody of the eyes and to mind their +own business. Therefore Hamilton and Saidie were not troubled by +offensive stares, or in any other way. All there were free, +gathered to enjoy themselves, each man in his own way; and the +natives in their gay colours added to the beauty, without +disturbing the peace of the scene, much as the bright-plumaged +birds that flitted from tree to tree absorbed in their own affairs. + +How Hamilton enjoyed those long, calm, golden hours--the golden +hours of Asia, so full of the enchantment of rich light and colour, +soft beauty before the eyes, sweet scent of the jessamine in the +nostrils, the warbling of birds, and Saidie's love songs in his +ears! + +Not till the glorious rose of the sunset diffused itself softly in +the luminous sky, and all the desert round them grew pink, and the +shadows of the palms long in the oasis, and the great planets above +them burst blazing into view into the still rose-hued sky, did they +rise from the side of the spring and begin to think of their +homeward ride. And what a delight it was that night ride home +through the majestic silence of the desert, where their own hearts' +beating and the soft footfall of the camel were the only sounds! +the wild flash of planet and star, and sometimes the soft glimmer +of the rising moon, their only light! Eros, the god of passion, +seated with them on the camel, their only companion! + +To Saidie, cradled in his arms, looking upwards to his face above +her, its beauty distinct in the soft light, feeling his heart +beating against her side, it seemed as if her happiness was too +great for the human frame to bear, as if it must dissolve, melt +into nothingness, against his breast, and her spirit pass into the +great desert solitudes, dispersed, almost annihilated, in the agony +and ecstasy of love. + +Week after week passed lightly by in their brilliant setting, the +hours on their winged feet danced by, and these two lived +independent of all the world, wrapped up in their own intimate joy. + +One morning, just as he was about to leave the bungalow, he heard +Saidie's voice calling him back. He turned and saw her smiling +face hanging over the stair-rail above him. He remounted the +stairs, and she drew him into their room. Her face was radiant, her +eyes blazed with light as she looked at him. + +"I have something to tell you, Sahib! I could not let you go +without saying it. Only think! is not Allah good to me? I am to be +the mother of the Sahib's child," and she fell on her knees, +kissing his hands in a passion of joy. Hamilton stood for the +moment silent. He was startled, unprepared for her words, unused to +the wild joy with which the Oriental woman hails a coming life. + +Her message carried a certain shock to him: it augured change; and +his happiness had been so perfect, so absolute, what would change, +any change, even if wrought by the divine Hand itself, mean to him +but loss? + +Saidie, terrified at his silence, looked up at him wildly. + +"What have I done? Is not my lord pleased?" Her accent was one of +the acutest fear. + +Hamilton bent down and raised her to his breast. + +"Dearest one, light of my soul, how could I not be pleased?" and +he kissed her many times on the lips, and on the soft upper arm +that pressed his throat, and on her neck, till even she was +satisfied. + +"Come and sit with me for a moment that I may tell you all," she +said. Hamilton sat beside her on the bed, and she told him many +things that an Englishwoman would never say, nor would it enter +into her mind to conceive them. + +Hamilton was greatly moved as he sat listening. The wonderful +imagery, the vivid language in which she clothed her pure joyous +thoughts appealed to his own poetic, artistic habit of mind. + +On his way across the desert to the city, Hamilton pondered deeply +over the news and the girl's unaffected joy. Since all those +whispered confidences poured into his ear while they sat side by +side on the bed, the throb of jealousy he had first felt at her +words had passed away. Saidie had made it so clear to him that her +joy was not so great at being the mother of a child as that she was +to be the mother of _his_ child, and similarly Hamilton felt in +all his being a curious thrill at the thought that his child was +hers, that this new life was created in and of her life that had +become so infinitely dear to him. + +He was glad now that his wife had refused to have a child. The +bitter pain he had felt then, those years ago, how little he had +thought it was to be the parent of this present joy. Now the woman +he loved as he had loved no other would be the one to bear his +child. Still the thought of the suffering the mother would go +through depressed his sensitive mind, and the idea of the risk to +her life that came suddenly into his brain made him turn white to +the lips as he rode in the hot sunlight. Such intense happiness as +he had known for the last three months can turn a brave man into a +coward. For a moment he faced the horrid thought that had come to +him--Saidie dead! And the whole brilliant plain, laughing sky, and +dancing sunlight and waving palms became black to him. To go back +to that dreary existence of nothingness of his former life, after +once having known the delight that this bright, eager, ardent +love, these delicate little clinging hands had made for him, would +be impossible. + +"No," he murmured to himself, "if she goes, then it's a snuff out +for me too. I have never cared for life except as she has made it +for me." + +And the cloud rolled off him a little as he met the idea of his own +death. Besides, Saidie had declared so positively that she could +come to no harm, that it would all be pure delight, that pain and +suffering could not exist for her in such a matter since she would +be all joy in making him this gift, that gradually he grew calmer +as he thought over her words. + +"But I didn't want any change," he burst out a little later, +talking to the still golden air round him. "Confound it! I was +perfectly happy. How impossible it is to keep anything as it is in +this world! All our actions drag in upon us their consequences so +fast! There is no getting away from this horrible change, no +enjoying one's happiness peacefully when one has obtained it." + +When he arrived at his office in the city he found that a far +heavier cloud had arisen on his horizon than that created by +Saidie's words. The English mail was in, and a long thin envelope, +impressed with a much-hated handwriting, faced him on the top of +the pile of his correspondence as he entered. + +He picked it up and opened it. + + "DEAR FRANK,--You often used to invite me to come to India, + and I have really at last made up my mind to. I am coming out + by next month's boat to stay with you for a time. I have been + very much run down in health lately, and my doctor says a + sea-voyage and six months in India will be first-rate for me. + I hope you have a nice comfortable house and good servants. + --Yours affectionately, JANE." + +Hamilton stared at the letter savagely as he put it down before him +on the table, a sort of grim smile breaking slowly over his face. +He felt convinced that in some way his wife had learned of his +new-found happiness, and that had given birth to her sudden desire +to visit India after twenty years of persistent refusal to do so. +He sat motionless for a long time, then stretched out his hand for +an English telegraph form and wrote on it-- + + "Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit. FRANK." + +He did not for one moment think that his wife would obey his +injunction, or that his wire would have the least effect on her; +but he wished to have a good ground to stand on when she arrived, +and he declined to receive her. His teeth set for a moment as he +thought of the interview. + +"This is a sort of wind-up day of my happiness," he muttered, as he +took his place at the office table. "Well, I suppose no one could +expect such pleasure as I have had these last three months to +continue; but, whatever happens, Saidie and I will stick together." +He sat musing for a moment, staring with unseeing eyes at the pile +of work in front of him. + +"Saidie, my Saidie! I shall never part from her; therefore I can +never part from my happiness." He smiled a little at the play on +the words, and then commenced his day's labours. + +That evening, when he returned, Saidie noticed at once the +depression in his usually gay, bright manner. When they were alone +at dinner she laid her hand on his. + +"What has darkened the light of my lord's countenance?" she asked +softly. + +Hamilton drew from his pocket his wife's letter, and laid it beside +her plate. + +"Can you read that, Saidie? If so, you will know all about it." + +The girl leaned one elbow on the table and bent over the letter, +studying it. She had been trying hard to improve herself in the +language, of which she knew already something, and with Oriental +quickness, had acquired much in the past three months. She made out +the sense now easily enough. + +"This lady is a wife of yours?" she said quickly, with a swift +upward glance at him, when she had finished reading the letter. + +Hamilton laughed a little. + +"She was my wife till I saw you, Saidie. No one is my wife now, nor +ever will be, but you." + +A soft glow of supreme pleasure and pride lighted up Saidie's great +lustrous eyes. She bent her head and put her soft lips to his +hand. + +"Have you forbidden this wife to come to you?" she asked after a +minute. + +"Yes, I have; but she will come all the same. English wives think +it foolish to obey their husbands." + +He laughed sardonically, and Saidie looked bewildered and +horrified. + + * * * * * + +A month later, a long, lean woman sat in a deck chair on board an +Indian liner as it crossed the enchanted waters of the Indian +Ocean. Enchanted, for surely it is some magician's touch that makes +these waters such a rich and glorious blue! How they roll so +gently, full of majestic beauty, crested with sunlight, under the +ships they carry so lightly! How the gold light leaps over them, +how the azure sky above laughs down to their tranquil mirror! how +the gleaming flying-fish rise in their glinting cloud, whirl over +them, and then softly disappear into their mysterious embrace! + +The long, lean woman saw none of the magic round her. Her dull, +boiled-looking eyes gazed through the soft sunlight without seeing +it. In her lap lay a thin foreign letter and a telegram, together +with a copy of "Anna Lombard" that she was reading with the +strongest disapproval. She picked up the letter and glanced through +it again, though she knew it nearly by heart, especially one +passage: + + "Your husband is leading such a life here! He has built a + wonderful white marble palace in the desert for an Egyptian + dancing-girl. They say it's a sort of Antony and Cleopatra + over again, and she goes about loaded with jewels and golden + chains. I don't know if you are getting your allowance + regularly, but I should think your husband is pretty well + ruining himself. I never saw a man so changed. He used to be + so melancholy, but now he is as bright as possible, and looks + so well and handsome. I hear the woman is expecting a child, + and they are both as pleased as they can be. I hear all about + it, as our cook's cousin is sister to the ayah your husband + hired for the woman, and my ayah gets it all from our cook. I + really should, my dear, come out and look into the matter, as + after a time he will probably want to stop sending home his + pay." + +The thin sheet fell into the woman's lap again, and she seemed to +ponder deeply. Then she read Hamilton telegram again-- + +"Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit," and a disagreeable +laugh broke from her thick, colourless lips. + +"I will go out and see her first," she thought, smoothing down with +a large, bony hand the folds of her rather prim white cambric +dress. She was a very stupid woman, and not a passionate one; +therefore the agony of pain of a loving, jealous wife was quite +unknown to her. But she was malignant, as such people usually are. +She loved making other people uncomfortable in a general way, and +taking away from them anything she could that they valued. She also +felt a peculiar curiosity such as those who cannot feel passion +themselves have usually about the intense happiness it gives to +others. The picture of this other woman, who had found joy +apparently in the arms she herself years ago had thrust aside, +interested her profoundly. She told herself that this Egyptian +loved Hamilton's money, but some instinct within her held her back +from believing this. + +The little bit about the child went deeply into her mind. It +rested there like an arrow-head, and her thoughts grew round it. +When the ship came into port a week or two later, Mrs. Hamilton +was one of the first passengers to land, and after careful +enquiries and well-bestowed tips she was expeditiously conveyed +by ticker-gharry[1] and sedan chair across the desert to the +bungalow at Deira. She was considerably pleased on seeing that +the white marble palace resolved itself into an ordinary white +bungalow, but the garden, was unutterably lovely, and, as she saw +in a moment, represented something quite unusual in cost and +care. + +[Footnote 1: Hired carriage.] + +It was just high noon when she arrived, and she thankfully escaped +from the suffocating heat and glare of the desert into the cool +shaded hall, and gave her card with a throb of spiteful elation to +the butler. + +The Oriental servant read the name, and hurried with the card to +his mistress's room. On hearing of the arrival of the Mem-Sahib, +Saidie descended from the upper room, where she had been lying in +the noonday heat, and, pushing aside the great golden chick that +swung before the drawing-room entrance, went in. + +Her dress was of the most exquisite Indian muslin that Hamilton +could obtain, heavily and wonderfully embroidered in gold, and +peacocks' eyes of vivid deep blue and green; her feet were bare, +for Hamilton, in his revolt from English ways, had kept up Oriental +traditions as far as possible in the clothing of his new mistress, +and weighty anklets of solid gold gleamed beneath the border of her +skirt. Round the perfect column of her neck, full and stately as +the red deer's, were twisted great strings of pearls, throwing +their pale irridescent greenish hue onto the velvet skin. Above the +splendour of her dress rose the regal and lovely face, its delicate +carving and the marvel of its dark, flashing, enquiring eyes +vividly striking in the clear mellow light of the room. + +Mrs. Hamilton, dressed in a plain, grey alpaca dress, rather hot +and dusty after her long drive, sat on one of the low divans +awaiting her. As Saidie entered, the glory of her youth and beauty +struck upon the seated woman like a heavy blow, under which she +started to her feet and stood for a second, involuntarily +shrinking. + +"Salaam, be seated," murmured Saidie, indicating a fauteuil near +the one on which she sank herself. + +Mrs. Hamilton came forward, her hands closing and unclosing +spasmodically in their grey silk gloves, and sat down again, her +eyes riveted on the other's face. + +"Do you know who I am?" she said at last in a stifled voice. + +Saidie smiled faintly; one of those liquid, lingering smiles that +made Hamilton's heaven. + +"Yes, I know; you are Mem Sahib Hamilton, the first, the old +wife.". + +Saidie, according to her own Eastern ideas, was in the position of +a superior receiving an unfortunate inferior. She was the latest +acquired--the darling, the reigning queen--confronted with the poor +cast-off, old, unattractive first wife; and being of a nature +equally noble as the type of her beauty, she felt it incumbent on +her, in such a situation, to treat the unfortunate with every +consideration, gentleness, and tenderness. + +The British matron's views of the relative positions of first and +subsequent wives differs, however, from Saidie's, and Mrs. +Hamilton's face grew purple as she heard Saidie's answer, and some +faint comprehension of Saidie's view was borne in upon her. + +"Where is my husband?" she demanded fiercely. + +"The Sahib is in the city to-day," returned Saidie calmly. How +odious they were, these Englishwomen, with their short skirts and +big boots, and red, hot faces, with great black straw houses over +them, and their curt manners, and the impertinent way they spoke of +their lords! + +"When will he be back?" pursued the other, sharply. + +Saidie glanced towards the clock. + +"In a few hours; perhaps more. He returns at sunset." + +"And what do you do all day, shut up by yourself?" questioned her +visitor, with a sort of contemptuous surprise. + +"I think of him," returned Saidie, quite simply, with a sort of +proud pleasure that made the Englishwoman stare incredulously. + +"Silly little fool!" she ejaculated, with a harsh, disdainful +laugh. + +"Does he give you all those things, and dress you up like that?" +she added, staring at the pearls on Saidie's neck. + +"He has given me everything I have," she replied, seriously. + +That Hamilton was wasting his substance on another went home far +more keenly to his lawful wife than that he was wasting his love on +the same. She got up, and went close to the girl, with a face of +fury. + +"They are all mine! I should like to drag them off you! Do you +understand that an Englishman's money belongs to his wife, and _I_ +am his wife? You! What are you? He belongs to me, and, whatever you +may think, I can take him from you. By our laws he must come back +to me." + +Saidie rose and faced the angry woman unmoved. + +"No law on earth can make a man stay with a woman he does not +love," she said calmly, "nor take him from one he does. You must +know little, or you would know that love is stronger than all law. +I give you leave to withdraw. Salaam." + +And she herself moved slowly backwards towards the hanging chick, +passed through it, and was gone, leaving the Englishwoman alone in +the room. + + * * * * * + +Three hours later Hamilton, sitting in his own private office, +surrounded with papers, started suddenly as he heard a well-known +and hated voice say, outside the door. + +"Thanks, I'll go in myself." + +The next minute the door had opened and his wife stood before him. +He sat in silence, regarding her. + +"Well, Frank, I suppose you were expecting me? You saw the boat +came in, doubtless. You don't look particularly pleased to see me!" + +There was only one chair in the room, and Hamilton remained seated. +His wife stood in front of him. + +"I do not know of any reason why I should be pleased, do you?" he +said calmly, gazing at her with eyes full of concentrated +hostility. + +"No, considering you've got that black woman up at your house, I +don't suppose you do want your wife back very badly; but I've come +to stay, my dear fellow, some time, so you've got to make the best +of it." + +"You will not stay with me," returned Hamilton quietly. His face +was very white, his eyes had become black as they looked at her. +One hand played idly with a paper-knife on his table. + +"And a nice scandal there'll be when I go to stay at the hotel +here, and it's known I'm your wife, and you are living out in the +desert with a woman from the bazaar!" + +"The fear of scandal has long since ceased to regulate my life," +answered Hamilton calmly. "Be good enough to make your interview +short; I have a great deal of work to-day." + +"You are a devil!" replied the woman, white, too, now with impotent +rage, "to desert your own wife for that filthy native woman. I--" + +But Hamilton had sprung to his feet; his face was blazing; he +seized his wife's wrists in both hands. + +"Be quiet," he said, in a low tone of such fury that she cowered +beneath it. "One word more and I shall _kill_ you; do you +understand?" + +Then he raised one hand and brought it down on his gong. Instantly +two stalwart, bronze giants, his chuprassis, entered the room and +stood by the door. + +"Take this woman out, and keep her out," he said to them. "Never +let her in again. She annoys me." + +The chuprassis put their hands to their foreheads, and then +impassively approached the Englishwoman. She looked at her husband +wildly as they took her arms. + +"Frank! you will not surely--" she expostulated. "Your own wife!" +and she struggled to release her arms. + +Hamilton waved his hand, and the natives forced her to the door. +For a moment she seemed inclined to scream and struggle. Then her +face changed. A look of intense malevolence came over it. She +walked between the men quietly to the door. As she passed through +it, she looked back. + +"You and she shall regret this," she said. Then the door shut, and +Hamilton was alone. + +He sat down, collapsed in his chair. Oh, how could he free himself +from this millstone at his neck? What relief could he gain +anywhere? To what power appeal? He could keep her out of his house, +out of his office, but not out of his life. She had come here with +the deliberate intention of wrecking that, and she would succeed +probably, for she would have the blind, hideous force of +conventional morality on her side. She would destroy his life--that +life till lately so valueless to him; that dreary stretch made +barren so many years by her hateful influence, but which, in spite +of it, at Saidie's touch, had now bloomed into a garden of flowers. +The thought of Saidie strengthened him. It was true that his wife +would probably succeed in breaking up his life here from the +conventional and social point of view, and he would be obliged most +likely to give up his appointment; but he had a small independent +income, and on that he and Saidie could still live together. They +would go to Ceylon or to Malabar. Perhaps also he could make money +otherwise than officially. Wherever he went his wife would probably +pursue him, intent on making his life a misery. Still, Fortune +might favour him; he and Saidie might in time reach some corner of +the world where their remorseless tracker would lose trace of them. +Perhaps to go to England at once and obtain a legal separation +would be the best plan, but then it was winter in England now, and +he could not with advantage take Saidie to England in winter, for +fear his exotic Eastern flower would fade in the northern winds. + +His thoughts wandered from point to point, and the minutes passed +unheeded. His papers lay untouched, scattered on the floor. The +chuprassi brought in from time to time a note, laid it on the table +and withdrew. Hamilton noticed nothing; he sat still, thinking. + +Meanwhile Mrs. Hamilton had been driven to the hotel, where she +engaged very modest quarters and ordered luncheon. While waiting +for this she went out into the balcony before her windows, and +looked with gloomy eyes into the sunny, laughing splendour of the +Eastern afternoon. At the side of the hotel was a luxuriant garden, +and the palms and sycamores growing there threw a light shade into +the sunny street just below her window; the sky overhead stretched +its eternal Eastern blue, and the pigeons wheeled joyfully in and +out the eaves in the clear sparkling air, or descended to the pools +in the garden to bathe, with incessant cooing. Up and down the +road passed the white bullocks with their laden carts, and the +gaily-dressed Turkish sweet-meat sellers went by crooning out songs +descriptive of their wares, pausing under the shade of the garden +to look up at the English Mem-Sahib in the balcony. She leant her +arms on the rail, and looked out on the gay scene with unseeing +eyes. "Beast!" she muttered at intervals, and her hard-lined face +crimsoned and paled by turns. + +When her luncheon came in she returned to the room, took off her +hat and looked in the glass. The narrow, selfish, petty emotions of +twenty years were written all over her face in deep, hideous lines. +The mass of yellow hair, newly-dyed, looked glaringly youthful and +incongruous above it. + +Burning with a sense of malevolent discontent and misery, she +turned from the glass and hurried through her luncheon, then +ordered it to be cleared away and writing materials to be brought +in, and set herself with grim feverishness to the concoction of a +long letter to the Commissioner. In it Hamilton's twenty years of +patient fidelity, through which time he had regularly transmitted +to her half his pay year by year were naturally not mentioned; her +own refusal to live with him, her incessant demands for more money, +her extravagance, her long, whining letters to him, her debts, her +own life in town were, of course, also suppressed. In the letter +she figured as the ardent, tender, anxious wife, arriving to find +her abandoned husband wasting his substance on a black mistress. +The visit to the cruel tyrant in his office was long dwelt on, and +the whole closed with a pathetic appeal to the Commissioner to use +his influence to restore her dearest boy to her arms. It was not a +bad letter from the artist's and the liar's standpoint, and she +read it through with a glow of satisfaction, sealed it up with a +baleful smile of triumph, and then sounded the gong. + +"Take this at once to the Commissioner Sahib," she said, handing +the note to the servant, "and let me have some tea; also you can +order me a carriage. I shall want to drive afterwards." + +When the tea came, she thoroughly enjoyed it after her virtuous +labours, and in the cool of the evening drove out to see the city. + + * * * * * + +That evening at dinner, seated at their table, laden with flowers, +with the light from the heavy Burmese silver lamps falling on her +lovely glowing face, and round bangle-laden arms, Saidie told +Hamilton of the visit of the white Mem-Sahib. His face darkened and +his lips set. + +"So she came here, did she? Did she frighten you? attempt to hurt +you?" + +"Oh, no," returned Saidie; "not at all. Naturally she is very hurt, +very sorry; no wonder she longs after the Sahib, and wishes to be +taken back to his harem. I was very sorry for her. It is quite +natural she should be jealous, of course," and Saidie rested one +soft, silken skinned elbow on the table and leaned across the +flowers, and her half-filled wine-glass, looking with tender liquid +eyes earnestly at the face of her lord. + +"The Sahib is so wonderful, so beautiful, so far above other men," +she murmured, gazing upon him. "It is no wonder she is unhappy." + +Hamilton smiled a little, looking back at her. He had indeed a +singularly handsome face, with its straight, noble features and +warm colour, and as he smiled the breast of the Eastern girl +heaved; her heart seemed to rush out to him. + +"Ah, Saidie! you do not understand English wives," he said gently, +with a curious melancholy in his voice. "Love and worship such as +you give me they think shameful and shocking. To love a man for +himself, for his face, for his body is degrading. They are so pure, +they love him only for his purse. They tell him to take his passion +to dancing-girls like you. They hate to bear him children. They +like to live in his house, be clothed at his expense, ride in his +carriage, but they care little to sleep in his arms." + +Saidie regarded him steadfastly, with eyes ever growing wider as +she listened. + +"I do not understand ..." she murmured at last, clasping both soft, +supple hands across her breast, as if trying to mould herself into +this new belief; "it is so hard to comprehend.... Surely it must +be right to love one's lord, to bear him sons, to please him, to +make him happy every hour, every minute of the day and night." + +"Right?" returned Hamilton passionately, getting up from his seat +and coming over to her. "Of course it is right! love such as yours +is a divine gift to man, straight from the hands of God." He leaned +his burning hands heavily on the delicately-moulded shoulders, +looking down into her upturned face. How exquisite it was! its fine +straight nose, its marvellously-carved mouth and short upper lip, +its round, full chin, and midnight eyes beneath their great +arching, sweeping brows! + +"That woman is a fiend, one of the unnatural creatures our wretched +European civilisation has made only to destroy the lives of men. +Don't let us speak of her! never let us think of her! She is +nothing to me. You are my world, my all. If she drives us away from +here, there are other parts of the world for us. Separate us she +never shall. Come! why should we waste our time even mentioning her +name. Come with me into our garden. Darling! darling!" + +He stooped over her, and on her lips pressed those kisses so long +refused, uncared for by one woman, so priceless to this one, and +almost lifted Saidie from the chair. She laughed the sweet low +laughter of the Oriental woman, and went with him eagerly towards +the verandah, and out into the compound where the roses slept in +the warm silver light. + + * * * * * + +For two days nothing happened. Hamilton went as usual to his office +for the day. At four he left, and, mounting his camel, went into +the desert to the oasis in the palms. + +On the third day he received a summons from the Commissioner, and +went up to his house in the afternoon. His heart seethed with rage +within him, but except for an unusual pallor in the clear warm +skin, his face showed nothing as he entered the large, imposing +drawing-room. + +The Commissioner was a short, pompous little man, rather +overshadowed by his grim raw-boned wife, and had under her strict +guidance and training developed a stern admiration for conventional +virtue, particularly in regard to conjugal relations. He rose and +bowed as Hamilton entered, but did not offer to shake hands. +Hamilton waited, erect, silent. + +"Sit down, Mr. Hamilton." Hamilton sat down. "Er--I--ah--have +received what I may term a painful--yes, a very painful +communication, and er--I may say at once it refers to you and your +concerns in a most distressing manner--most distressing." + +The Commissioner coughed and waited. Hamilton remained silent. The +Commissioner fidgeted, crossed his knees, uncrossed them again, +then turned on him suddenly. The Indian climate is trying to the +temper; it means many pegs, and small control of the passions. + +"Damn you, sir!" he broke out fiercely. "What the devil do you mean +by keeping a black woman in your house, and sending your wife to +the hotel here?" + +He was purple and furious; in his hand he crushed Mrs. Hamilton's +beautiful composition. + +"She tells me you called in natives to throw her out of your +office: it's disgraceful! Upon my word it is; it's scandalous! And +you sent her to the hotel! I never heard of such a thing!" + +"Mrs. Hamilton came out uninvited, in defiance of my express +wishes, and on her arrival I told her she could not stay with me," +returned Hamilton quietly. "Whether she went to the hotel or not, I +don't know." + +"But your wife, damn it all, your wife, has a right to stay with +you if she chooses; naturally she would come to you, and you can't +turn her out in this way." + +"She has long ago forfeited all rights as my wife," replied +Hamilton calmly, in a low tone, with so much weight in it that the +Commissioner looked at him keenly. + +"Why don't you get a divorce or a separation then?" he asked +abruptly. "Do the thing decently--not have her out like this, and +make a scandal all over the station." + +"I know of no grounds for a divorce," returned Hamilton. "There are +many ways of breaking the marriage vows other than infidelity. I +married Mrs. Hamilton twenty years ago, and for those twenty years +she has practically refused to live with me. For twenty years I +have remitted half my income to her every year. During that time I +have many times asked her to join me here, sought a reconciliation +always to be refused. Recently I found another interest; the moment +my wife discovered this, she came out with the sole purpose of +annoying me. I have come to the conclusion that twenty years' +fidelity to a woman without reward is enough. I shall not alter my +life now to suit Mrs. Hamilton." + +The Commissioner was silent. He was quite sure Hamilton was +speaking the truth, and in reality, in the absence of Mrs. +Commissioner, he felt all his sympathies go with him. But his +wife's careful training and his official position put other words +than his mind dictated into his mouth. + +"Well, well," he said at last, "we can't go into all that. You and +your wife must arrange your matters somehow between you. But there +can't be a scandal like this going on. You, a married man, living +with a native woman, and your wife out here at the hotel! Something +must be done to make things look all right--must be done," and he +knitted his brows, looking crossly at Hamilton from under them. + +Hamilton shrugged his shoulders. + +"You'd better give up this native woman," snapped the +Commissioner. + +Hamilton smiled. His was such an expressive face, it told more +clearly the feelings than most impassive English faces, and there +was that in the smile that held the Commissioner's gaze; and the +two men sat staring at each other in silence. + +After some moments the Commissioner spoke again but his tone was +different. + +"Hamilton, you know we all have to make sacrifices to our official +position, to public opinion, to social usage. Ah! what a Moloch +that is that we've created, it devours our best. Yes ... a Moloch!" +he muttered half to himself, gazing on the floor. + +"Still, it's there, and we all suffer equally in turn. I know what +it is myself. I have been through it all." He stopped, gazing +fixedly at the beautiful crimson roses in the pattern of his Wilton +carpet. What visions swept before him of gleaming eyes and sweeping +brows, ruthlessly blotted out by a large, raw-boned figure and face +of aggressive chastity. "I am sorry for you, but there it is; +whatever the rights of the case, you can't make a scandal like +this." + +"I am ready to resign my post if necessary," returned Hamilton; "I +have enough to live on without my pay." + +The Commissioner started, and looked at him. + +"Is she so handsome as that?" he asked in a low tone, leaning a +little forward. Mrs. Commissioner was not there, and he was +forgetting officialdom. + +Hamilton hesitated a moment. Then he drew from his pocket a +photograph, taken by himself, of Saidie standing amongst her +flowers. + +The beautiful Eastern face, the lovely, youthful, sinuous figure, +veiled in its slight, transparent drapery, taken by an artist and a +lover in the clear, actinic Indian light, made an exquisite work of +art. It lay in the hand of the Commissioner, and he gazed on it, +remembering his long-past youth. + +After a long time Hamilton broke the silence. + +"Now, you know," he said at last, "why I am ready to resign my post +rather than resign _that_; and it is not only her beauty that +charms me, it is her devotion, her love.... Do you know, white or +black, superior or inferior, these two women are not to be +mentioned in one breath. The one you see there is a woman, the +other is a fiend." + +The Commissioner tried to look shocked, but failed; the smooth card +still lay in his hand, the lovely image impressed on it smiled up +at him. + +"I don't know but what you are right," he muttered savagely as he +handed it back to Hamilton. "These wives, damn 'em, seem to have no +other mission but to make a man uncomfortable." + +He got up and began to pace the room. He seemed to have forgotten +Hamilton and the official _rôle_ he himself had started to play. He +seemed absorbed in his own thoughts--perhaps memories. Hamilton sat +still, gazing at the card. + +Half-an-hour later the interview came to an end. Hamilton went away +to his office with a light heart, and a smile on his lips. The +Commissioner had given him some of his own reminiscences, and +Hamilton had sympathised. The two men had drifted insensibly onto +common ground, and the Commissioner finally had promised to help +Hamilton as far as he could. Hamilton was pleased. That he had +merely been twisting a piece of straw, that would be bent into +quite another shape when Mrs. Commissioner took it in hand, did not +for the moment occur to him. That night Saidie danced for him in +the moonlight, and afterwards ran from him swiftly, playing at +hide-and-seek amongst the roses laughing, inviting his pursuit. In +and out behind the great clumps of boughain-villia gleamed the +lovely form, with hair unbound falling like a mantle to the waist. +Through the pomegranate bushes the laughing face looked out at him, +then swiftly vanished as he approached, and next a laugh and a +flash of warm skin drew him to the bed of lilies where he overtook +her, and they fell laughing on the mossy bank together. Wearied +with dancing and running and laughter, she sank into his arms +gladly, as Eve in the garden of Eden. + +"Let us sleep here," she murmured, looking up to the palm branches +over them defined against the lustrous sky. + +"See how the lilies sleep round us!" + +And that night they slept out in the moonlight. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +A month had gone by, and during that month, except for the time he +was with Saidie in the bungalow, Hamilton, had he been less of a +philosopher, would have been extremely uncomfortable. + +The Commissioner's wife had completely and entirely espoused the +cause of Mrs. Hamilton, and had insisted on her leaving the hotel +and coming to stay with her. Everywhere that the Commissioner's +wife went, riding or driving, Mrs. Hamilton accompanied her; and +whenever he met the two women, his wife threw him a mild, +reproachful glance of martyred virtue, while the Commissioner's +wife glared upon him in stony wrath. + +Hamilton took no notice of either glance, but passed them as if +neither existed. The Commissioner looked miserably guilty whenever +he encountered Hamilton's amused, penetrating eyes, and avoided +him as much as possible. The Commissioner's house was completely +shut to him; he never approached it now except on official +business, and nearly every house in the station followed its +example. The story of Mrs. Hamilton's woes and wrongs had spread +all over the community, and proved a theme of delightful and +never-ending interest to all the ladies of the station. They were +unanimous in supporting her. Not one voice was raised in favour of +Hamilton. He was a monster, a heartless libertine, given over to +all sorts of terrible vices. Tales of the fearful doings in the +desert bungalow, where Hamilton and Saidie lived the gay, bright, +joyous life of two human beings, happily mated, as Nature intended +all things to be, spread over the station, and the stony stare of +the women upon Hamilton, when they met him, mingled insensibly with +a shrinking horror that greatly amused him. + +Nobody spoke to him except in his business capacity. Every one +avoided him. He was practically ostracised. Mrs. Hamilton, on the +other hand, went everywhere, and thoroughly enjoyed herself in the +_rôle_ of gentle forgiving martyr that she played to perfection. +Being plain and unattractive to men, she was thoroughly popular +with the women, and they were never tired of condoling with her on +having such a brute of a husband. What more natural, poor dear! +than that she should refuse to live with him in India, if the +climate did not suit her? So unreasonable of him to expect it! The +question of a family, too! why, what woman was there now who did +not hate to have her figure spoiled, and object to be always in the +sick-room and nursery? So natural that she did not wish those +disagreeable passionate relationships: a man could not expect that +sort of thing from his wife! And then the money, too! she had never +had more than half his income all these twenty years! It seemed to +them that she had been wonderfully good and resigned. + +Such was the talk at the afternoon teas, and the married men at the +club, coached by their wives, and being in the position of the fox +who had lost his brush, and wished no other fox to retain his, +condemned Hamilton quite as freely. + +"It was beastly rough on his wife," they agreed, "to set up a +black dancing-girl under her eyes." + +Hamilton cared not at all for the social life of the station, and +was greatly relieved by not having invitations to give or to +answer. All that he regretted was the ultimate resignation of his +post, which, he foresaw, would be the result of all this scandal +sooner or later. + +Saidie, with Oriental quickness, had soon grasped the whole +situation, and had flung herself at his feet in a passion of tears, +begging him to send her away or to kill her rather than let her +presence make him unhappy. Hamilton had some difficulty in turning +her mind from the resolve to kill herself by way of serving him; +and it was only his solemn oath to her that she was the one single +joy and happiness of his life, that with her in his arms he cared +about nothing else, that if he lost her his life was at an end, +which pacified and at last convinced her. + +Another month went by, and Mrs. Hamilton began to tire of her +position. She felt she was not making Hamilton half unhappy enough. +She had had but one idea, and that was to separate him from Saidie, +and in this she had failed. He had not even been turned out of his +post. He had been expelled from the social life of the station; but +she knew he would not feel that, that he would only welcome the +greater leisure he had to spend in his Eden with _her_. To play the +martyr for a time had been interesting, but its pleasure was +beginning to wane; moreover, she could not stay permanently with +the Commissioner's wife. She grew restless: she must carry out her +plan somehow. When Hamilton's life was completely wrecked, she +would be ready to return to England--not till then; and she lay +awake at nights grinding her long, narrow, wolf-like teeth together +as she thought of Hamilton in the desert bungalow. + +One morning, after a nearly sleepless night, she got up and looked +critically at her face in the glass. Old and haggard as usual it +looked; but to-day, in addition to age and care, a specially evil +determination sat upon it. + +"Life is practically done with," she thought, looking at it. "I +have only this one thing to care about now, and I'll do it somehow +before I go. If I can't enjoy my life, he shan't enjoy his." + +She turned from the glass, and commenced dressing. The evil look +deepened on her face from minute to minute, and the word "Beast!" +came at intervals through her teeth. + +Outside the window of her charming room all was waking in the +joyous dawn of the East. Long shadows lay across the velvet green +slopes of the Commissioner's lawn as the sun rose behind the +majestic palms that shaded it; floods of golden light were rippling +softly over roses and stephanotis, opening bud after bud to the +azure above them; the gay call of the birds rang through the clear +morning air; the perroquets swung in ecstasy on the bamboo +branches, crying out shrill comments on each other's toilet. The +scent of a thousand blossoms rose up like some magic influence, +stealing through the sparkling sunlight into the room, and played +round the thin face of the woman within, but it could make no +message clear to her. Every sense of hers had long been sealed to +all joy by hate. + +At breakfast she announced her intention of leaving India by the +following mail, and not all the kind pressure brought to bear upon +her by the Commissioner's wife could induce her to postpone her +departure. She was gentle, calm, and resigned in manner, as usual, +excessively grateful for all they had done for her, and the +kindness shown her. She spoke very sweetly of her husband, told +them how she had hoped by coming out to induce him to leave the +evil life he was leading; but she saw now that these things lay in +higher hands than hers, and she felt all she could do was to pray +and hope for him in silence. + +"Why don't you divorce him?" broke in the Commissioner abruptly and +quickly, anxious to get it out before his wife could stop him. He +tugged violently at his moustache, waiting for her answer. If she +would do that, he was thinking, what a relief for that poor devil +Hamilton! + +"Divorce him?" returned Mrs. Hamilton resignedly. "Never! It is a +wife's duty to submit to whatever cross Providence lays upon her, +but divorce seems to me only the resource of abandoned women." + +The Commissioner's wife nodded her head in majestic approval. The +Commissioner got up abruptly, breakfast being concluded. He said +nothing, but his mental ejaculation was, "Old hag! knows she +couldn't get any one else, nor half such a handsome allowance!" + +The day for Mrs. Hamilton's departure came, and on its morning +Hamilton found a note from her on his office desk. He took it up +and opened it with a feeling of repulsion. + + "DEAR FRANK,--I am leaving by the noon boat for England. They + seem to have altered their time of sailing to twelve instead + of seven P.M. + + "I am sorry my visit here has caused you trouble. Do not be + too hard on me. I am leaving now, and do not intend to worry + you again. You must lead your own life until, perhaps, some + day you wish to return to me. You will find me ready to + welcome you. Good-bye, and forgive any pain I have caused + you.--Your affectionate wife, + JANE." + +Hamilton read this note with amazement, and a sense of its falsity +swept over him, as if a wind had risen from the paper and struck +his face. But as men too often do, he tried to thrust away his +first true instincts, and replace their warning with a lumbering +reason. He sat deep in thought, gazing at the table before him. If +it were true, if she were really going, if she really meant +good-bye, what a relief! But it was impossible, unless, indeed, she +had accomplished her plan, and had heard that he had been, or was +about to be dismissed from his post. + +This seemed to throw a light upon the matter, and with the idea of +finding confirmation of this in some of the other letters awaiting +him, he started to go through them. It was a heavy post-bag, and +gave him much to attend to. He went through the letters, but found +nothing relative to himself in them, and settled down to his work. +Twelve, one, and two passed, and he looked up at the clock, +wondering if she were really gone. He seemed to have no inclination +for lunch, so he worked on without leaving the office, and only +rose to clear his desk when it was time to leave for the day. +To-morrow he would learn definitely what passengers the out-going +boat had carried. He would not stay this evening to find out. He +felt ill, listless; he only wanted to be back with Saidie in the +restful shade of the palms. + +As he rode across the desert that evening an indefinable depression +hung over him. Never since he had found Saidie had that melancholy, +once so natural, come back to him. Her spirit, whether she were +absent or present, seemed always with him--a gay, bright, beautiful +vision ever before his eyes, giving him the feeling that he was +looking always into sunlight. But to-night there seemed emptiness, +gloom about him. + +"It's the weather," he muttered, and looked upward to the curious +sky. It was gold, gleaming gold; but close to the horizon lay two +bright purple bars, like lines of writing in the West: the prophecy +of a storm, and the heat seemed to hang in the air that not a +faintest breath moved. + +Swiftly and evenly the great camel bore him, its well-beloved +master, over the rippling sand towards the palms in the golden +west, but the approaching night travelled faster than they, and it +was quite dark, with a sullen heavy darkness, before they reached +the bungalow. It seemed very quiet, with an indefinable sense of +stillness in the garden and wide hall. Neither Saidie nor any +servant came to meet him, and it was quite dark: no lamp had been +lighted. With a sudden throb of terror in his heart, Hamilton +paused and called "Saidie." + +There was no response, no sound. Striking a match, Hamilton +deliberately lit a lamp. Some great evil was upon him, and with a +curious calmness he went forward to meet it. He went upstairs and +pushed open the door of their bedroom, shielding the light with his +hand and seeking first with his eyes the bed. Saidie lay there: the +exquisite form, in its transparent purple gauze, lay composed upon +the bed, a little to one side. The glorious hair, unbound, rippled +in a dark river to the floor; the head rested sideways as in sleep, +upon the pillow. In silence Hamilton approached; near the bed his +foot slid suddenly; he looked down; there was a tiny lake of +scarlet blood, blackening at its edges, blood on the wooden +bedstead side, blood on the purple muslin over the perfect breasts. +Hamilton, his body growing rigid, put out his hand to her forehead; +it was cold. He set down the lamp and turned her face towards it, +putting his arm under her head. Her lips were stone colour, the +lids were closed over the eyes; the face was the face of death. + +In those moments Hamilton realized that his own life was over. +Saidie was dead--murdered. The world then was simply no more for +him. All was finished: he himself was a dead man. Only one thing +remained, one duty for him. To avenge her! Then utter rest and +blackness. He looked round thinking. The room was quite empty, +undisturbed. The great pearls on Saidie's neck were untouched. They +gleamed gently in the pale light from his lamp. No robber, no +outsider had been here. Then, in the darkened room, leapt up before +him the truth: a white, blonde face seemed looking at him from the +walls--the thick pale lips, the half-closed sinister eyes, the lean +long figure of his wife rose before him. + +"But she was to leave by the morning's boat," he muttered. Then +... a thought struck him. He withdrew his arm gently from the +passive head, lighted another lamp, putting it on a bracket in the +wall, and left the room, descending to the vacant hall. He went to +the verandah and called to his servants. They came, a trembling +crowd, with upraised hands, and fell flat before him, weeping and +striking their heads on the ground. + +"It is not our fault, Light of Heaven, Father of the Poor, the +Mem-Sahib came--the white Mem-Sahib. We are poor men; we have no +fault at all." + +Hamilton listened for a moment to the storm of words and protesting +cries. Then he raised his hand and there was silence, but for a +sound of rising wind without and the sobbing of the natives. + +"Pir Bakhs," he said to the head of them all, the butler, "tell me +all you know. Your mistress is dead. Who is responsible?" + +The butler came forward and fell at his master's feet with clasped +hands. + +"Lord of the Earth, I know nothing but this. At five all was quiet +in the house, and our mistress sat in the garden singing. Then +came to the door two runners with a palanquin. They asked to see +our mistress. I said wait. I went to the garden. I said the white +Mem-Sahib has come in a palanquin. My mistress said, 'I will see +her.' She went to the drawing-room, and the white Mem-Sahib came +in, and they drank tea together. Your servant is a poor man, and he +saw no more till the runners went away with the palanquin. So we +said, 'The white Mem-Sahib has gone,' and my mistress said to me +she felt drowsy and must sleep, and went upstairs to the Light of +Heaven's room and shut the door. And your servant was laying the +table in your honour's dining-room a little later, and he went to +close the jillmills,[1] for the wind was rising, and your servant +saw through the jillmill the white Mem-Sahib again getting into her +palanquin that had appeared once more at the back, and the runners +ran with it very fast into the desert; then your servant ran out to +ask the other servants why the white Mem-Sahib had come back, and +the ayah met him at the door and said she had found our mistress +killed in her room; and your honour's servant is a poor man, and +has wept ever since." + +[Footnote 1: Wooden shutters.] + +Hamilton listened in perfect silence. The man's face was lined with +grief, the tears rolled in streams down his livid cheeks. A wail +went up from the other servants at his words. Hamilton and his +mistress were their idols, and his grief was very real to +themselves. + +Hamilton stretched out his hand to the trembling man with a benign +gesture. + +"Pir Bakhs, I believe you. You have served me many years, and never +lied to me. This is another's work, not yours. Be at peace. You +have no fault." + +The butler wept louder, and the others wailed with him, calling +upon Heaven to bless their master and avenge their mistress. + +Hamilton turned from them to the dark dining-room, which he crossed +to the hall; through this he walked in the darkness as a blind man +walks, to the entrance. + +He tore the wood-work door open, wrenching it from its hinges, and +looked out into the night. A dust-storm was raging in the desert +beyond the compound, and its stinging blasts of wind, laden with +sand, drove heavily over the exquisite masses of bloom, the +glorious and delicate scented blossoms of the garden. It tore off +the flowers remorselessly, and even for the moment he stood there, +a rain of thin, white, shredded petals was flung into his face. The +branches of the trees groaned and whined in the thick darkness, the +swish of broken and bent bamboo came from all sides, the roar of +the dust driven through the foliage filled his ears. The garden, +the beautiful, sheltered garden, scene of their delights, was being +ruthlessly destroyed, even as his life had been; it was expiring in +agony, even as he would shortly expire: to-morrow it would be +desolate, a shattered wreck under the dust, even as he, in a little +while--But something should be done first. + +Leaving the doorway open, letting the dust-laden wind tear +shrieking through the silent house, he plunged into the roaring +darkness. He took the centre path that led straight to the compound +gate. The unhappy bushes and tortured branches of the trees, bent +and twisted by the onrushing wind, lashed his face and body as he +went down the path. He did not feel their stinging blows. On, on to +the desert he went blindly but steadily in the thick darkness. + +When he got beyond the compound gate, out of the shelter of the +garden, the weight of the wind almost bore him down; but as he +faced its blast, his eyes saw, not so very far, out on the plain, +dull in the whirling mist, the dancing uncertain light of a carried +lantern. As the tiger darts forward on its prey, as the snake +springs to the attack, Hamilton leapt forward into the wall of wind +that faced him and ran at the dancing light. + +Choked with sand, blinded, suffocated and breathless, but full of +power to kill, he was on it at last, and flung himself with sinewy +hands on the swaying, covered sedan chair, between the two bearers, +who, bewildered and helpless in the sudden storm, were groping +slowly across the plain. With a shriek they dropped the handles, as +Hamilton flung himself suddenly on the chair; the lantern fell into +the sand and went out. The natives, thinking the devil, the actual +spirit of the storm, had overtaken them, fled howling into the +blackness, their cries swallowed up like whispers in the roar of +the wind. As the chair struck the sand, the woman within thrust her +head with a cry through the open side. Hamilton seized it by the +neck. Out! out of the sedan chair, through the burst-open door, he +pulled the wretched creature by her head, and then flung her with +all his force upon the sand. + +The raging wind swept past them in sheets of dust, bellowing as it +went. He knelt on her body; his hands ground into her neck. Through +the darkness he saw beneath him the thin, white oval of the face, +with its eyes bulging, starting out of the head, its lips writhing +in agony; two white hands beat helplessly in the black air beside +him. He looked hard into her eyes, bending down to her close, very +near, as his hands sank deeper into her neck, his fingers locked +more tightly round it. In a few seconds the light of the eyes went +out, the hands ceased to beat the air. Saidie was avenged. With a +laugh that rang out into the noise of the storm, the man got up +from the limp body and stood by it, in the echoing darkness. Then +he kicked it, so that it rolled over, and the sand came up in +waves eager to bury it. + +In an hour woman, sedan chair, lantern would all be beneath a level +plain of sand. + +He turned back towards the bungalow. "Saidie," he murmured, and the +storm-wind seemed to rave "Saidie!" "Saidie!" round him, to whirl +the name upwards to the dim stars, glimmering one here and there, +far off and veiled in the heavens. He went back; the wind helped +him. On its wings he seemed borne back to his house, through the +tortured garden, through the gaping doorway, over the shattered +door he passed, and then up the stairs to their room. + +After the inferno of the desert the inside of the house seemed +quiet, and in their room the lamps burned steadily, but low. Their +oil was used up, their life, like his, was nearly done. The bed +stood there and on its calm white stillness lay Saidie, waiting for +him, for him alone, as always. + +He went up to her and stood there. + +"Saidie?" but she did not answer. He lay down beside her gently, so +as not to break her slumber, and then drew her to his breast. Ah +his treasure! his world! Surely now all was well since she was +safe in his arms! He did not feel the deathly coldness. There was a +whizzing in his brain where Nature had laid her finger on a vein, +and broken it that he might be released from sorrow and die. + +"Saidie?" he murmured again as her breast pressed his, and put his +lips to hers. + +As his life had first dawned in her kiss, so it went back now to +the lips that had given it, and in that kiss he died. + + + + +II + + +There was complete silence in the large room, filled with long, +wavering shadows that the flickering firelight chased over the +walls and amongst the gilt-edged tables. + +Beyond the windows the dusk was gathering quickly in the wind-swept +street, beneath the leaden sky. From the pane nearest the fire a +side-light fell across a man's figure leaning against the corner of +the mantel-shelf. A ruddy glow from the hearth struck upon the silk +skirt of a girl leaning back in the easy-chair beneath the other +corner. + +Her face is lost in the shadow. + +He is a good-looking fellow, very. The high white collar that shows +up in the dusk is fastened round a long, well-set neck; the figure +in the blue serge suit is straight and pleasing, and the shoulders +erect and slim. + +The girl's eyes, looking out of the shadow, take in these points, +and the pleasure they give her seems inextricably confused with +dull pain. Her gaze passes on to his face, and rests eagerly, +almost thirstily, upon it. + +There is light enough still to show her its well-cut oval, spoiled +now by the haggard falling in of the cheeks, the lines in the +forehead, and the swellings beneath the eyes. + +He shifts his position a little and glances through the window. His +eyes are full of irritation, and the girl knows it, though they are +turned from her. She gives a suppressed, inaudible sigh; his +attitude now brings out the impatient discontent on his mouth and +the rigid determination of the chin. + +"I suppose you mean two people can live upon nothing?" His voice is +cold, even hostile, and he speaks apparently to the panes, but the +tones are well-bred and pleasing; and again the girl wonders dimly +which is the predominating sensation in her--pleasure or pain. + +"No," she says, in rather a suffocated voice. "But I say, if either +person has enough, or the two together, it does not matter which +has it, or which has the most." + +Silence, which her hesitating, timid voice breaks at last. + +"Does it?" + +"Yes, I think it does," he answered shortly. "The man must have +enough to support both, or he has no right to marry at all." + +The girl's hands lock themselves together convulsively, unseen +behind her slight waist, laced so skilfully into the fashionable +bodice. + +There is a hard decision in the incisive tones that does not belong +to the mere expression of a general theory--a cold authority and a +weight of personal conviction that turns the words into a statement +of rigid principle. + +The girl feels almost dizzy, and she closes her hot eyelids +suddenly to shut out the line of that hard, obstinate chin. + +"People's ideas on what is enough to support both vary so much," +she says quietly, with well-bred indifference in her tone, while +her heart beats wildly as she waits for his next remark. + +"Well, what would you consider enough yourself?" he says coldly, +after a slight pause, turning a little more towards her. + +The red light glows steadily on her skirts, and he can see the +graceful outline of her knees under them, and one small foot upon +the hearthrug; the rest of the form is veiled in the shadow, except +one rounded line of a shoulder and the glint of light hair above. + +He looks down at her, and there seems a sudden, nervous expansion +in his frame; outwardly there is not the faintest impatient +movement. He waits quietly for her reply. + +The girl hesitates as she looks at him. To her, in her absorbing +love for the man before her, the question is an absurd mockery. + +To reduce to a certain number of pounds this "enough," when for her +anything or nothing would be enough! + +"I would rather starve to death in your arms than live another day +without you," is the current running under all her thoughts, and it +confuses them and makes it difficult for her to speak. + +What shall she answer? To name a sum too small in his eyes will +be as great an error as to name one too large. He would only +think her a silly, sentimental girl, who knows nothing of what +she is talking about, and who has no knowledge and appreciation +of the responsibilities of life. + +Besides, to name a very small income will be to conjure up before +his eyes the picture of a mean, pitiful, sordid existence, from +which she feels, with painful distinctness, he would turn with +disgust. + +Poor? Yes, he has told her that he is poor, and she believes it; +but somehow--by contracting debt, probably--she thinks, as her +keen, observant eyes sweep over him, he manages at present to live +and dress as a gentleman. + +Those well-cut suits, those patent shoes and expensive cigarettes; +these things, she feels instinctively, must be preserved for him, +or any form of life would lose its charm. + +At the same time, she must mention something that is not hopelessly +beyond him. She recalls her own two hundred; surely, at the least, +he must be making one. + +"I can hardly say," she murmured at last, "because personally I +think one can live on so very little; but I suppose most people +would say--well, about three hundred pounds a year." + +"Oh! three hundred a year," he says, stretching out his hand for +the tea-cup on a low table beside him. The tea has grown cold in +the discussion of abstract questions. He takes the cup and sits +down deliberately in the corner of the couch opposite her, and +stirs the tea slowly. + +"How much is that a week? Five pounds fifteen, isn't it? Well, now, +go on, see what you can make of it. Your house--the smallest--and +servants--" + +"House and servants!" interrupts the girl, "but why have a house +and servants at all?" + +"I don't know," he rejoins curtly, "because the girl generally +expects those things when she marries." + +"Not all girls," she says, and one seems to hear the smile with +which she says it in her voice. + +"You mean rooms?" he says quickly, with a gleam of pleasure +breaking for a moment across his face. + +"Well--say rooms--you would want three--thirty shillings, I +suppose, at the least, and then another thirty for board. That +leaves two fifteen for everything else." + +"Surely that's a good deal." + +"Oh, I don't know; think of one's clothes," and Stephen stares +moodily into the fire, with a pricking recollection of a tailor's +bill for twenty odd in his drawer at home now. + +Then, to remove the impression of selfish extravagance he feels he +may have given, he adds: + +"And a man wants to give his wife some amusement, and three hundred +a year leaves nothing for that." + +"Amusement!" the girl repeats, starting up and standing upright, +with one elbow just touching the mantelpiece, and the firelight +flooding her figure from the slim waist downwards. "What amusement +does a woman want if she is in love with the man she is living +with? The man himself is her amusement! To watch him when he is +occupied, to wait for him when he is away, to nurse him when he is +ill--that is her amusement: she does not want any other!" + +Stephen stares at the flexible form, and listens to the words that +he would admire, only the cynical suspicion is in his mind that she +is talking for effect. His general habit was to consider all women +mercenary and untrustworthy. Deep in his heart--for he had a heart, +though contracted from want of use--lay a hungry desire to be +loved, really loved for himself; and the very keenness of the +longing, and the anxiety not to be deceived, lessened his powers of +penetration, and blinded him to the girl's character. + +He laughs slightly. "You are taking a theatrical view of the whole +thing!" + +"How do you mean?" + +"Oh, well, that the wife really loves her husband and sticks to him +through everything, and they pass through unheard-of difficulties +together, and so on"; but he adds, with a faint yawn: "I've always +noticed that when the money goes the love disappears too. There's +no love where there's abject poverty." + +"But three hundred a year is not abject poverty," answers the girl +in a quiet tone, not denying his theory for fear of being called +again theatrical. + +"No," he admits. "Oh, it might do very well as long as there were +only two; but then, when there are children, it means a nurse, and +all sorts of expenses." + +He says the words with a simplicity and directness that makes the +girl almost catch her breath. For these two were not on intimate +terms with each other, not even terms of intimate speaking. + +Nothing had passed between them yet but the merest society phrases, +and before a certain quiet dinner one month back neither knew of +the other's existence. Since then some chance meetings on the +beach, the parade, the pier, a few long afternoon rows, between +then and now: these are the only nourishment the flame in either +breast has received--a flame kindled in a few long glances across +the dinner-table. + +But this afternoon he has laid aside the customary phrases and +deliberately commenced the present conversation. + +True, it is purely an abstract one--all theory and hypotheses. No +one could say otherwise if it were repeated. Not a personal word +has been uttered on either side; but the girl feels in the +determined tone of his voice, in the studied way he started it, in +the cold precision with which he follows it, that it is practically +a test conversation of herself, and that she is virtually passing +through an examination. + +He has come this afternoon with a set of certain questions that he +means to put, to all of which her answers are received without +comment, and mentally noted down. + +He neither repeats himself, nor presses a point, nor leaves out +anything on his mental list, nor allows any remark to lead away +from it. + +He has also certain things he means to say, which he will say, as +he asks his questions, deliberately, one after the other; and then, +when he has heard and said all he intends, he will terminate the +conversation as decisively as he began it and go. The girl feels +all this, for her brain is as clear and keen as the glance of her +eyes. + +She knows that he is testing her: that she stands upon trial before +him. + +She has nothing to hide: only, that too great love and devotion, +that seems to swell and swell irrepressibly within her, and would +pour itself out in words to him, but that his tone, his manner, +his look keep it back absolutely, as a firm hand holds down the +rising cork upon the exuberant wine. And now, at this sentence +of his, her words fail her. They are strangers practically, that +is conventionally--quite strangers, she remembers confusedly--but +for this secret bond of passion, knit up between them, which both +can feel but both ignore. + +The natural male in him, and the natural female in her, are +already, as it were, familiar, but the fashionable man and girl are +strangers still. + +Then, now, how is she to say what she wishes to him? How can she +talk with this mere acquaintance upon this subject? The very word +"children" seems to scorch her lips. At the same time, familiarity +with him seems natural and unnatural; terrible, and yet simple. + +Then, too, what are his views? + +Will her next words shock him inexpressibly? + +In her passionate, excitable brain, inflamed with love for the man, +the idea of maternity can merely present itself like an unwelcome, +grey-clad Quaker at a banquet. + +She hesitates, choosing her words. She knows so little of the man +in front of her. His clothes, she sees, are of the newest cut, but +his notions may not be. + +At last her soft, weak, timid voice breaks the pause. + +"Do you think it necessary to have very large families?" + +"No, I don't," he answers instantly with the energy and alacrity of +one who is glad to express his opinion. "No, I don't, not at all." + +The girl's suspended breath is drawn again. Unlike himself in his +queries she presses her point home. + +"Don't you think those marriages are the happiest where there are +no children?" + +"Yes," he says decidedly, getting up and thrusting his hands into +his coat pockets. "Yes, I do--much the happiest." + +There is silence. It is too dark for either to see the other's +expression. He stands irresolutely for a minute or two, and then +says with a disagreeable laugh: + +"I should hate my own children! Fancy coming home and finding a lot +of children crying and screaming in the place." + +To this the girl says nothing, and Stephen, after a minute's +reflection, softens his words. + +"Besides, your wife's love, when she has children, is all given to +them." + +"Yes," murmurs her well-bred voice. "Oh, yes, one is happier +without them." + +Neither speak. They are agreed so far; there is a deep relief and +pleasure in the breast of each. + +"Well," he says at last, rousing himself, "I must go. I shall be +late for dinner." + +The girl leans down and stirs the fire into a leaping, yellow +blaze. It fills the room with light, and reveals them fully now to +each other. + +She makes no effort to detain him, and they look at each other, +about to part. + +The self-control of each is marvellous, and admirable for its mere +thoroughness and completeness. + +He has large eyes, and they stare down at her haggardly, as he +stands facing her in the light. The hungry, hopeless look in those +eyes and the drawn lines in his face go to the girl's heart, and to +herself it seems literally melting into one warm flood of sympathy. + +Ill! he looks ill and wretched, and she longs with a longing that +presses upon her, till it is like a physical agony, to give some +way to her feelings. + +"Dearest, my dearest!" she is thinking, "if I might only tell +you--even a little--" + +And Stephen stares at the soft face and warm lips, half-paralyzed +with desire to bend down and kiss them. How would a kiss be? how +would they--And so there is a momentary, barely perceptible pause, +filled with a painful intensity of feeling, to which neither gives +way one hair's breadth. Then he gives a curt laugh. + +"We have discussed rather a difficult problem and not settled it," +he says in a conventional tone. + +"It seems to me quite simple," murmurs the girl, with a throat so +dry that the words are hardly audible. + +He hears, but makes no reply beyond another slight laugh, as he +holds out his hand. The girl puts hers into it. There is a moderate +pressure only on either side, and then he goes out and shuts the +door, leaving the girl standing motionless--all the warm springs +in her heart frozen by his last cynical laugh. + +Brookes finds his way down the stairs, through the unlighted hall, +and lets himself out in the chill October air. + +He goes down the street feeling a confused sense of having +inflicted pain and left distress behind him, but his own sensation +of irritation, his own vexation and angry resentment against his +lot in life, all but obliterate it. + +For some seconds he walks on with all his thoughts merged together +in a mere desperate and painful confusion. "Only a hundred a year!" +is his plainest, most bitter reflection. "Five-and-twenty, and only +earning a hundred a year!" + +Brookes is not of a calm temperament. His nervous system is tensely +strung, and generally, owing to various incidental matters, +slightly out of tune, or at anyrate, feels so. + +His circulation is rapid, every pulse beats strongly, and the blood +flows hotly in his veins. + +His mental nature is of much the same order--passionate, excitable, +and impatient; but there is such a heavy curb-rein of control +perpetually upon it, that its three leading qualities jar inwardly +upon himself more than they show to outsiders. + +Even now the confused, excited disorder in his brain is soon +regulated and calmed by his will, and as he walks on he lapses into +trying to recollect whether he has said all he meant to. + +He concludes that he has, and a certain satisfaction comes over +him. + +"Well, I have told her my views now," he reflects. "She sees what I +think, and what my principles are. She won't wonder that I say +nothing. I shall try for another post and a rise of salary, and +then--" + +Stephen's character was a fine one in its way. The capacity for +self-command and self-denial was tremendous, his sense of honour +keen, his adherence to that which he conceived the right +inflexible, his will immutable; but of the subtler sweetness of +the human heart he had none. + +Of sympathy, the divine [Greek: sym, pathos], _the suffering with_, +he had not the vaguest conception: of its faint and poor +reflections, pity and mercy, he had but a dim idea. + +He stuck as well as he could to what he thought was the right +path, and as to the feelings of others, he could not be blamed for +not considering them, for he had never practically realized that +they had any. + +In the present circumstances he had a few, fine, adamantine rules +for conduct, which he was going to steadfastly apply, and he +thought no more of the girl's feelings under them than one thinks +of the inanimate parcel one is cording with what one knows is good, +stout string. + +In his eyes it was distinctly dishonourable for a man to engage a +girl to himself without a reasonably near prospect of marriage. + +It was also decidedly ungentlemanly to propose to a girl if she had +money and you had none. Moreover, it was extremely selfish to +remove a girl from a comfortable position to a poorer one, though +she might positively swear she preferred it; and lastly, it was +unwise for various reasons, to be too amiable to the girl, or to +give any but the dimmest clue to your own feelings. + +There was no telling--your feelings might change even--when you +have to wait so long--and then it was much better, _for the girl_, +that she should not be tied to you. + +To visit the girl frequently, to hang about her to the amusement of +onlookers, to keep alive her passion by look and hint and innuendo, +to excite her by advances when he was in the humour, and studiously +repulse her when she made any, to act almost as if he were her +_fiancé_, and curtly resent it if she ever assumed he was more than +an ordinary friend--this line of action he saw no fault in. The +above were his views, and they were excellent, and if the girl +didn't understand them she might do the other thing. + +Some weeks passed, and the man and the girl saw each other +constantly--three or four times in the week, perhaps more; and the +inward irritation grew intense, while their outward relations +remained unchanged. + +There was a certain brutality that crept into the man's tones +occasionally when he addressed her, a certain savage irritability +in manner, that told the girl's keen intelligence something; some +involuntary sighs of hers as she sat near him, and an increasing +look of exhaustion on her face, that told him something. But that +was all. + +There were no tender passages between them; none of the +conventional English flirting--matters were too serious, and the +nature of each too violent to permit of that. A little bitter, +more or less hostile, conversation passed between them on the +most trifling subjects in his long afternoon calls. A little +music would be attempted--that is, he would sing song after song, +while she accompanied him, but a song was rarely completed. +Generally, before or at the middle, he would seize the music in a +gust of irrepressible and barely-veiled irritability, and fling +it on the piano--yet they attempted the music with unwavering +persistence, and both rose to go to the instrument with mutual +alacrity. + +There they were close to each other--so close that the warmth and +breath of their beings were interchanged. There in the pursuit of a +fallen sheet of music, his head bent down and touched hers. Once, +apparently to regain the leaf, his hand and arm leaned hard upon +her lap. One second, perhaps, no more; but the girl's whole +strained system seemed breaking up at the touch--her control +shattered, like machinery violently reversed. + +The music leaf was replaced, but her hands had fallen nerveless +from the keys. + +"It is hot. I can't go on playing. Put the window open, will you, +for me?" + +Stephen walked to the window, raised it, and smiled into the dark. + +That night it seemed to Stephen he could never force himself to +leave the girl. He prolonged the playing past all reasonable +limits, until May's sister laughingly reminded him that they were +only staying in seaside lodgings, and other occupants of the house +must be considered. Stephen reluctantly relinquished the friendly +piano, and then stood, with May's sweet figure beside him, and her +upraised face clear to the side vision of his eye, talking to her +sister. + +At last, when every trifle is exhausted of which he can make +conversation, there comes a pause, a silence; he can think of +nothing more. He nerves himself, holds out his hand, and says, +"Good-night!" + +May, influenced equally by the same indomitable aversion to be +separated from him, follows him outside the drawing-room, and +another pause is made on the stair. By this time a fresh stock of +chaff and light wit is ready in Stephen's brain, and he makes use +of anything and everything to procure him another moment at her +side; but of all the passion within him, of the ardent, impetuous +impulse towards her, nothing, not the faintest trace, shows. + +A mere "Good-night!" ends their conversation at length, and the +girl did not re-enter the drawing-room, but passed straight up the +stairs to her own room. + +"Does he care? Does he care or not?" she asked herself, walking +ceaselessly backwards and forwards. "If I only knew that he did! +This is killing me; and suppose, after all, he does not care!" + +She almost reels in her walk, and then stretches her arms out on +her mantelpiece, and leans her head heavily upon them. + +"So this is being in love!" she thinks, with a faint satirical +smile. "All this anxiety and pain and feeling of illness! Why, it +is as if poison had been poured through me." + +Through the next day May lay pallid and silent on the couch, +without pretence of occupation, feeling too exhausted even to +respond to her sister's chaff and raillery. + +It was only at dinner, when her brother-in-law informed his wife he +was sick of the place, and that nothing would induce him to stay +more than another week, that a stain of scarlet colour appeared in +May's cheeks and a terrified dilation in her eyes. + +Her lids were lowered directly, and the blood receded again. She +made no remark, but at the close of dinner she excused herself, and +went upstairs alone. + +Once in her room, she stripped off her dinner-dress and shoes, and +re-dressed in morning things. Her hands trembled so violently that +she could hardly fasten her bodice over the wildly-expanding bosom. + +But her resolve was fixed. They were going in a week. To-morrow, +she knew, Stephen was leaving the place for a fortnight. She must +see him to-night. + +When she is completely dressed, she pauses for a moment to choke +down the terrible physical excitement that seems to rob her of +breath and muscular power. + +Then she passes downstairs quietly and goes out. + +The night is still, cold, and dark. + +May walks rapidly through the few streets that divide his house and +hers. + +The few men she meets turn involuntarily to glance after the +splendid form that goes by them, and in her decisive walk, in the +eyes blind to them, they feel instinctively she is already owned, +mentally or actually, by some one other. + +When she reaches Stephen's house, she learns he is in, and with a +great fear of him suddenly rushing over her, she sends word up to +him by the servant: Will he see her? + +While she waits in the hall, her message is taken upstairs. May +leans against the wall, a terrible sick faintness, born of +excitement and hysteria, coming suddenly upon her. + +There is a hall-chair, but her eyes are too darkened to see it; she +simply clings to the handle of the door, and lets her head sink +against the side of the passage. + +Brookes is upstairs with his brother and two friends; they have +been playing cards, but a game is just over, and the men have got +up to stretch themselves. + +Stephen himself is leaning back against the mantelpiece, as his +habit is, and yawning slightly. He has just been beaten, and he is +a man who can't play a losing game. + +"No," his brother remarks. "I didn't know what the deuce 'Ladas' +meant till I looked it up; did you, Steve?" + +"Oh, I should think every schoolboy would know that," is the curt +response, and at that moment the servant's knock comes at the door. + +"Please, sir, there's a lady as wants to see you," the girl says +with a perceptible grin. "She said she wouldn't come up, and she's +waiting in the hall, sir." + +There is a blank silence in the room. Brookes pales suddenly, and +his eyebrows, that habitually have a supercilious elevation, rise +still higher with annoyance. + +He hesitates a single second, then, without a word in reply, he +crosses the room towards the door, and the servant retreats +hastily. + +The men glance furtively at each other, but Stephen's devil of a +temper being well known, they forbear to laugh or even smile till +he is well out of the room. Brookes goes down the stairs with one +sentence only in his mind: Coming to my rooms, and making a fool +of me! + +He is annoyed, intensely annoyed, and that is his sole feeling. + +May is standing upright now in the centre of the hall under the +swinging lamp, and she watches him run lightly down the long flight +of stairs towards her with swimming eyes. + +What is there in that figure of his that has so much influence on +her senses? More, perhaps, even than his face, do the lines of his +neck and shoulders and their carriage please her. All the pleasure +she can ever realise in life seems contained for her in that slim, +well-made frame, in its blue serge suit. + +She makes one impetuous step forward, her whole form dominated, +impelled by the surge of ardent feelings within her, and holds out +one trembling, burning hand. Stephen, with a confused sense of its +being awfully bad form that she should be standing in his hall, +takes it in his right hand, feeling hastily for the lucifers with +his left. + +"Er--come into the dining-room, won't you?" he says, with the +familiar, supercilious accent that with him is the expression of +suppressed annoyance and slight embarrassment. + +He knows the rooms are unlet, and with gratitude for this +providential circumstance in his thoughts, and his heart beating +violently with sudden excitement now he is actually in her +presence, he turns the handle of the door and sets it wide open. + +He strikes a match and holds it up, leaning back against the door, +for her to pass in before him. + +As she does so, their two figures for one second almost touch each +other, and a sudden glow lights up in his veins. He feels it, and +it warns him instantly to summon his self-control. That before +everything. + +The next moment he follows her into the room, lights the gas, +returns to the door, closes it, and then comes back towards the rug +where she is standing. + +By this time his command is his own. His face is as calm as a mask. +His large eyes, somewhat bloodshot now from hours of smoking and a +sleepless night, rest upon her with cold enquiry. + +She has seen them once, met them once, fixed, liquid, with +passionate longing upon hers; desperately she seeks in them now for +one gleam of the same light, but there is none. They and his face +are cloaked in a cold reserve. Sick, and with her heart beating to +suffocation, she says, as he waits for her to explain her presence: + +"We are--going away." + +Stephen's heart seems to contract at the words he had so often +dreaded to hear, heard at last. + +His thoughts take a greyer hopelessness. + +"Oh, really!" he says merely, the shock he feels only slightly +intensifying his habitual drawl. "Not immediately, I hope?" + +Nothing to the nervous, excited, over-strained girl before him +could be more galling, more humiliating, more crushing than the +cold, conventional politeness of his tones and words. + +This frightful fence of Society manner that he will put between +them--a slight, delicate defence, is as effectual as if he caused a +precipice by magic to yawn between them. + +"No--not--not--quite immediately, but soon," she falters. "And it +seems as if I could not exist if--I--never see you." + +There is a strained pause while they stand facing each other. He +is motionless; one hand rests in his pocket, the other hangs +nerveless at his side. + +They look at each other. Each is thinking of the supreme +delight--even if momentary--the other's embrace could give if--but +the conditions in the respective minds are different--in his: "If I +thought it wise;" in hers: "If he only would." + +"Well, we can write to each other," he says at last. + +"Oh, but what are letters?" the girl says passionately; and then, +urged on hard by her love for him, her intuition of his love for +her, and her common-sense instinct not to throw away her life's +happiness for a misunderstanding or petty feeling of pride, she +adds: "You know--don't you?--that I care for you more than anything +else in the world." + +Her tones are sharp with the intensity of feeling, and she +stretches both hands imploringly a little way towards him. + +He sees them quiver and her face whiten, and the frightened appeal +increase in her pained eyes searching his face, and it is a +marvel--later, he marvels at it himself--how, with his own passion +keen and alive in him, he maintains his ground. But there is +something in the whole scene that jars upon him--something +theatrical that makes the thought flash upon him: Is it a got-up +thing? + +This puts him on the defensive directly; besides, he resents her +coming to him in this way, and endeavouring to surprise from him +words he has already explained to her he is unwilling to say. + +She is trying to rush him, he puts it to himself; and the thought +rouses all his own obstinacy and self-will. + +When he chooses he will speak, and not before. + +"It is very good of you to say so," he answers quietly, in a cold +formal tone, and the girl quivers as if he had struck her. + +Now, in his lonely, sleepless nights, the misery on the white face +comes back and back to him in the darkness of his room, but then he +is blind to it. + +In an annoyed mood to begin with, irritated beyond bearing by his +own helpless, ignominious position, as he fancies, he has no +perception left for his own danger of losing her. + +And the man, who had lived till five-and-twenty, desiring real +love, and not knowing it, deliberately trampled upon it without +recognising what he did. + +His words cut the girl terribly. + +It seems impossible for the second that she can force herself to +speak again to him, but the terrible, irrepressible longing within +her nerves her for one more effort. + +"Is that all you can tell me? Do you not care for me at all?" + +He looks at her and hesitates. So modest, so appealing, so timid, +and yet so passionate! Surely this is genuine love for him. Why +thrust it back? But the thought recurs. No. She is rushing him; and +he declines to be rushed. Also a sort of half-embarrassment comes +over him, a nervous instinct to put off, ward off a scene in which +he will be called upon to demonstrate feelings he may not satisfy. + +He laughs slightly, and says: + +"Of course I do! I like you very much!" + +The tones are slighting and contemptuous, enough so to convey +the polite warning: Don't go any further, and force me to be +positively rude to you. + +Swayed by his strong physical passion, and blinded by the dogged +determination he has to remain master of it, he is absolutely +insensible of another's suffering. + +Had the girl had greater experience with men, more hardihood and +less modesty; if she could have approached him, and taken his hands +and pressed them to her bosom; if she had had the courage to force +upon him the mysterious influence of physical contact, Stephen's +control would have melted in the kindled fire. + +Words stir the brain, and through the brain, the senses; but with +some people it's a long way round. + +Touch stirs the nerves, and its flame runs through the body like a +flying pain. + +Stephen's physical nerves were far more sensitive than his brain, +and had the girl been a woman of the half-world, or even of the +world, she could have succeeded. But she was a girl; and her +modesty and innocence, the chastity of all her mental and physical +being, hung like dead weights upon her in the encounter. + +His words, his tones, his glance simply paralyze her--not +figuratively, but positively. Her physical power to move towards +him, to make a further appeal to him, is gone. Speech is dried upon +her lips, wiped from them as a handkerchief passed over them might +take their moisture. + +She looks at him, dumb, frenzied with the intense longing to throw +herself actually at his feet, but yet held back by some +irresistible power she cannot comprehend, any more than one can +comprehend the stifling, overpowering force in a nightmare. + +It is the simple result of her life, her breeding, her virtue, her +character, her habits of control and reserve. She is the +fashionable, well-brought-up girl, with all her sensitive instincts +in revolt against forcing herself upon a man indifferent to her, +and full of an overwhelming instinctive timidity that her desire is +wild to break down and cannot. + +She stares at him, lost in a sense of bitter pain. All her vigorous +life seems wrung with pain, and in that torture, in which every +nerve seems bruised and quivering, a faint smile twists at last the +pale, trembling lips. "You would have made a good vivisector!" she +says. Then, before he has time to answer, she turns the handle of +the door behind her, opens it and goes out. + +A second after the street door closes, and Stephen stands on the +dining-room mat, looking down the empty hall. Thoroughly disturbed +and excited, with all his own passion surging heavily through his +blood, and her last sentence--that he does not understand any more +than he understands his own cruelty--ringing in his ears, he +hesitates a minute, and then re-enters the dining-room, shuts to +the door, and walks savagely up and down. + +"Extraordinary girl!" he mutters. "What does she want? What can I +do? She knows I can say nothing at present, when I'm going into the +work-house myself! But what a splendid creature she is! Lots of +'go' in her. Well, I don't care. I'll have her one day; but there's +no use making a lot of talk about it now." + +May walked away from his doorstep, no longer a sane human being, +responsible for its actions. The whole physical, nervous system, +weakened by months of self-control, and night following night of +sleeplessness, was hopelessly dislocated now. + +The whole weight of her excited passion, flung back upon the +sensitive brain, turned it from its balance. It had been a +brilliant brain, and that very excitability that had lent its +brilliance was fatal to it now. + +The hopeless passion ran like a corroding poison through the +inflammable tissue. + +She had put the matter to the test, and found that truth of which +the mere possibility had been torture. He had absolutely rejected +her. "He could not care for me," she kept repeating, as the silent +air round her seemed full of his cold, short laughs. + +His passion for her was dead. It had existed, surely--those looks +of his, the sudden violence of his touch when there was any excuse +for the slightest contact with her--or had it all been some curious +dream? + +She could not tell now, but whether it had been or not, it was no +longer. To her that seemed the only explanation of his words and +tones. To the tender female nature the depth of brutality in the +passion of the male--that is, in fact, the very sign of it--remains +always an enigma. + +After the scene just passed, it seemed to the girl impossible, +ludicrous, to suppose that Stephen loved her. + +She had already made great allowance for him. She had a large share +of the gift of her sex--intuition; and she had understood more than +many women would have done, but to-night he had gone beyond the +limits of her imagination. + +"No man would be so intensely unkind to a woman he cared for," she +argued. "For nothing, when there is no need." + +She was not an unreasonable, nor selfish, nor silly girl. Had +Stephen told her he loved her, but that they must suppress their +passion, that she must wait, she would have obeyed him, and waited +months, years, gone down to her grave waiting, in patient fidelity +to him. Her qualities of control were as fine as his, and her +devotion to a man who loved her would have been limitless, but, +acting according to his views, Stephen had taken some trouble to +convince her he was not the man, and she was convinced. + +And being convinced, the vision of her life without him seemed just +then a dismal waste, impossible to face. + +In most of the actions of the human being, the physical state of +the person at the time is the principal factor, and May's whole +physical frame, violently over-strained, craved for rest--rest that +the excited brain could not give. Rest was the urgent demand +pressed by the breaking nervous system, and from these two +thoughts--rest, oblivion--grew the dangerous thought of Death. + +"Sleep and forget! but I can't," she thought, "and if I do, there +is the horrible awakening;" and again her fatigue suggested all the +past sleepless nights, and the craving of the body urged the brain +to find better means of satisfying it, in the same way as the +appetite for food forces the brain to devise methods for procuring +it. + +She walked on in a straight line from Stephen's house, and the road +happened to pass a post-office. May stopped and looked absently +through its lighted, notice-covered panes. + +"Send him a few lines," she thought; "because I am so stupid, I +could not tell him enough, and then--" + +She did not finish the sentence, but all beyond was blank peace. +She went in, bought a letter-card, and wrote:-- + + "I could have loved you devotedly, intensely, had you wished + it, but you have made it clear to-night that you do not want + love--at any rate, not mine. I have discovered that I have + courage enough to die, but not to live without you. I am going + to the sea now, and in an hour we shall be separated for ever. + I shall know nothing and you will care nothing, so it seems a + good arrangement. My last thought will be of you, my last + desire for you, my last breath your name." + +She fastened it with an untrembling hand, passed out of the office, +posted it, and went straight down a side street to the parade. + +The night was still, bound in a frosty silence. The temperature +sank momentarily, and the icy grip intensified in the air. +Overhead the sky was black, and glittered coldly with the winter +stars. Beside and behind her and before her not a living +creature's footstep broke the silence. The sea lay smooth, black, +and motionless on her left, like some huge sleeping monster. + +She walked on rapidly: a glorious, vigorous, living, youthful +figure, full of that tremendous activity of brain and pulse and +blood, so valuable when there is a use for it, so dangerous when +thrown back upon itself. + +"How I could have loved him, worshipped him, lived for him, had he +but wanted me!" is the one instinctive cry of her whole nature. + +At the first easy descent to the beach she turns from the parade, +and goes down, passing without hesitation from the light down to +the moist darkness of the beach. To get away into oblivion, to +escape from this maddening sense of pain, to lose it, let it go +from her like a garment in the black water, is her only impelling +instinct. + +She sees the glimmer of the water before her without a shudder. How +much dearer and more inviting it seems to her tired eyes than her +bed at home, where so many, many sleepless, anguished nights have +been spent! Here--rest and sleep, with no awakening to a grey and +barren to-morrow. The thought of Death is lost. Desire for the +cessation of pain is keener at its height than even the desire for +life. + +She stumbles on the wet, black beach at the water's edge, and then +finds where it is slipping like oil over the sand. + +She walks forward, and the chill of the water rises round her +ankles, then her knees, then her waist, and then she throws herself +face forwards on it, as she once thought to fling herself on his +breast. + +In a half-drunken satisfaction she stretches her arms out in it and +commences to swim towards the horizon. "Like his arms!" she thinks, +as the water encircles her. "Like his lips!" she thinks, as it +presses on her throat. "And as cold as his nature." + + * * * * * + +The following morning is calm and still--a perfect specimen of +wintry beauty. A light frost covers the ground and sparkles on the +trees. + +There is a faint chill in the clear air, a tranquil calm on the +gently rising and falling sea and in the lucid sky. + +The sunlight falling on Stephen's bed and across his sleeping face +shows a smile there, and his arm, lying on the coverlet--an arm +thinned by constant fever and night-sweats--rests, in his thoughts, +round her neck; that white neck so sweetly familiar in his dreams. + +After a time he wakes and yawns, and turns his head heavily towards +the window; and farther as the happy unconsciousness of sleep +recedes from his face, and recollection and intelligence come back +to it, more clearly show the haggard lines, traced all over it, of +self-repression, seaming and marking it at five-and-twenty. + +"Another day to be got through," he thinks merely, as Nature's most +precious gift--the light--pours glowing through the panes. + +When half-an-hour later he opens his door to take in his boots, he +finds two letters with them, and at the sight of one his heart +beats hard. + +The other is in the girl's handwriting, and he lays it on his +toilet-table, with the thought, "Asking me to go and see her, I +suppose," and turns to the other with a mad impatience. + +This is evidently the official letter with reference to his +post--the post that means to him but this one thing: her +possession. + +He bursts it open, and in less than two seconds his eye takes in +its news: he has the appointment. + +The blood leaps over his face, and an exultant fire runs through +his frame and along his veins. + +He replaces the letter quietly in its cover with but the slightest +tremor of his fingers. + +Then he gets up from the bedside and stands in the middle of the +room, looking through the sparkling panes. + +"I have her!" he is thinking. "Yes, by God! at last I have her!" + +The day is glorified; life is transfigured. + +Through his whole body mounts that boundless exhilaration of desire +on the point of satisfaction. Not momentary desire, easily and +recently awakened, but the long desire that has been goaded and +baited to fury through weeks and months of repression, and tempered +to a terrible acuteness in pain and suffering, like steel by flame. + +And now triumph, and a delight beyond expression, bounds like an +electrified pulse throughout all his strong, vigorous frame. + +The lines seem to fade from his face, the mouth relaxes, and then +he laughs, as he makes a step towards the window, flings it open, +and leans out into the keen air. + +"At last I can speak out decently. No one could think I cared for +her money, or any of that rot now. How unexpected!--this morning! +Now I can tell her I'm free, independent! I am glad I waited--it +was much better. Far better, as I said, to be patient. Last night I +almost--and now I'm very glad I didn't." + +He draws his head back, and turns to the glass to shave with a +light heart. + +As he does so, he sees her letter again, and picks it up. "You +darling!" he thinks, "I'll make you understand all now." + +Some miles westward of the pier, some fathoms deep, out of reach of +the quiet sunlight lying on the surface, tosses the girl's body, +senseless and pulseless, with all the million possibilities of +pleasure that filled those keen nerves and supple limbs gone out of +them for ever, and Stephen draws out her despairing letter of +eternal farewell, with a smile lighting up his handsome, pleasing +face. + +"Yes, it was much better to wait," he murmurs, "I don't approve of +rushing things!" + + + + +III + +CHAPTER I + + +It was morning on the Blue Nile. The turbulent blue river rolled +joyously between its banks, for it was high Nile, and a swift, +light breeze was blowing--the companion of the Dawn. The vault of +the sky seemed arched at a great height above the earth, springing +clearly, without any object to break the line from the horizon of +gold sand, and full of those white, filmy, light-filled gleaming +clouds that are one of the wonders and glories of Upper Egypt and +the Soudan. It was a morning and a scene to make a man's heart rise +high in his breast, and cry out, as his eyes turned from the +level-sanded desert floor, through sunlit space, to the vaulted +roof, "After all, the world is a good house to live in." + +Slowly the strong yellow sunlight poured over the plain, the bank +and the river, gilding every ripple; and, as the light grew, +hundreds of delicate shapes--the forms of the ibis and flamingo +and crane, and other river-fowl--became visible, crowding down the +dark banks, with flapping of white and crimson wings, and +stretching of legs, and opening of beaks, rustling down, shaking +their feathers, to bathe and drink of the Blue River. + +Wonderful light, and miraculous, gleaming, cloud-filled sky, and +wonderful birds preening their plumage and calling to each other, +and wonderful breeze-swept water, bluer than the bluest depths of +the Indian Ocean. + +It was still so early that, in the whole stretch of rollicking, +tumbling, buoyant waters between bank and bank, only one piece of +river-craft could be seen. This pushed onward, cleaving through the +little billows in the teeth of the morning breeze. It was a tiny +naphtha launch--a horrid, fussy, smoking little thing, cutting +through breeze and water, and diffusing a scent of oil and greased +iron in the pure and radiant air. A white bird on the bank looked +at it, and rose with a startled note of alarm, and a flight of +lovely-salmon-coloured colleagues followed. The others merely +looked up and paused, with their wings wide stretched, and then +went on calmly with their toilets--they had seen it before. + +In the launch, of which the whole centre was taken by the +naphtha-stove--the engine by courtesy--sat a young Englishman, +whose face had that frank, attractive look of one whose thoughts +are kindly, well disposed to all the world; and at stem and stern +stood, erect and silent, the white-clothed figure of a boy from +the Soudan. Lithe, graceful forms supported long necks and +straight-featured faces, black as if carved out of smooth ebony, +and contrasting strangely with the white turbans of stiff linen +twisted deftly into a high crest above the brows. Swiftly the +little boat ran on for a mile or two against wind, with its three +silent and motionless occupants; then one boy turned, and +pronounced solemnly the two words, "Mister, Omdurman!" + +This was accompanied with a gracious wave of his hand towards the +bank, as he leant forward to stop the engine, and his companion +turned the boat to land. + +Omdurman, as seen from the river level, looks like nothing but a +long streak of duller yellow on the real gold of the African sand. +Its tiny, square, flat-roofed mud-houses are not, with few +exceptions, higher than six feet, and there is nothing else save +them and their dreary, yellow-brown, muddy monotony in the whole +village: not a palm, not a flower, not one blade of grass, simply a +collection of low mud-houses, with trampled mud-paths between, and +here and there an open, brown, dusty square. + +The stillness and heat of the day were settling down now: the first +wild, cool youth of the morning was past, and the Englishman felt +the heat of the desert rise from the ground and strike his face, +like the blow of a flail, as he stepped on land. He expected the +Soudanese boys to follow, as they generally did on similar +excursions--one to secure the boat and sit and wait beside it, and +the other to accompany himself, carry his tripod and camera, and +act as guide and general escort. To-day the boy stood in the boat, +and addressed him earnestly: + +"Boat wanted by other misters: let us go back: take them. We make +much money; come again evening, take you home." + +"But, you young ruffians, what am I to do out here alone? I don't +know the way, and I want you to carry my things," expostulated the +Englishman, vainly trying to adjust a pair of blue goggles over his +eyes, smarting already in the intolerable glare from the sand, +while striving not to let drop his camera, fiercely cuddled under +one arm, and its tripod of steel legs and an overcoat balanced on +the other. + +The black remained for a moment impassive, statuesque, wrapped in +reflection. Then he brightened: + +"Me know," he said, suddenly springing from the boat. "Me take you +my house. Sister show you the way: sister carry mister's things." + +The Englishman stared for a moment into the eager, intelligent +face, strangely handsome, though in ebony. After all, do we not +think a well-carved table beautiful, although sometimes, even +because, it is in ebony? Then _he_ brightened: + +"Very good; take me to your house, and let me see your sister," he +said good-humouredly; adding inwardly, "If she's anything like you, +she'll be the very thing for the camera." + +They turned from the cool, rolling, billowy water inwards towards +the desert and the huts of Omdurman, and the heat rose up and +struck their cheeks each step they took. + + * * * * * + +Merla stood that morning at her hut doorway looking out--out +towards the river she could not see, for the banks rise and the +desert falls slightly behind them. She stood on the threshold, and +the sun beat on her Eastern face, and showed it was very good. She +was sixteen, and, like her brothers who ran the naphtha launch for +the English, she was straight and erect, tall and lithe and supple, +with a wonderful stateliness and majesty of carriage, though she +had never been taught deportment nor attended physical culture +classes. Merla was beautiful, with the perfect beauty of line that +belongs to her race, and possessed the straight, high forehead, the +broad, calm brow that tells of its intelligence and nobility. She +knew, however, nothing of her own beauty. She never cared for +staring into the little squares of glass that the girls of the +village would buy in the market-place, nor coveted the long strings +of blue glass beads that the Bishareens brought in such numbers to +sell in Omdurman; nor did it specially please her to lay the beads +against her neck, and see them slide up and down on her smooth skin +as she breathed, though her companions would thus sit for hours +cross-legged before their little mirrors, breathing deep to note +how their beads rose and fell and glistened in the light. + +Merla loved much better to steal out of the hut at night, when the +oil-lamp smoked against the mud wall and the air was heavy, into +the pure calm darkness of the desert, and gaze up at the stars, and +listen to the far-off tom-toms beating fitfully against the +stillness. And if ever any little coins came into her possession, +it seemed unkind to spend them on glass or beads when there was +always milk and oil needed in the house. And if, when these were +bought, there was any coin left, then her real luxury was to buy +food for the poor thin camel that lay at night in the mud-yard +behind their hut, and to go and feed it secretly in the starlight. +And she would press her hands into the soft fur of its neck as it +leant towards her, feeling that delight that springs from being +kind and loving, and being loved. The law of her life was love, a +law springing naturally in her mind, as the beauty and health in +her body. Her father, her mother, her brothers were all loved by +her; and, beyond these, the unfortunate camels and the donkeys +whose sides bled where the girths cut them as the careless +Englishmen rode them in and out of the village to and from the +Mahdi's tomb, and the lean, barking curs in the mud street that +seldom barked as she passed by. All these she loved and sympathised +with, though she had not been taught sympathy any more than she had +been taught grace. + +This morning she was radiant and happy as she looked through the +quivering, yellow light that danced above the sand towards the +river. Last night she had fed the camel and caressed it, and she +had listened, half awe-struck, to the tom-toms in the distance. The +music had seemed to come to her ears with a new sound. The breeze +had blown from the river with a new kiss to her face. She was +growing into a woman, and the sap of life was rising fast and +vigorous within her, lifting her up with the boundless joy of life. +And as she looked, two white spots, a crested turban and a solar +topee, appeared over the edge of the bank, moving towards her. + +"My sister!" said the Soudanese boy, with a regal air, when they +stood at the mudhouse door. And some instinct, as he was young and +foolish, made the Englishman drag off both goggles and solar topee +for a moment, and so Merla looked up and saw him with the sun +bright on his light Saxon hair and friendly blue eyes. + +"Merla," went on the boy rapidly to his sister in his own tongue, +"this English mister from Khartoum must have a guide to Kerreree. I +go back to the boat: other Englishman want me. You go to Kerreree, +Show everything; carry black box for him--carry everything. Salaam, +Stanhope Mister." + +And, without waiting for either assent or dissent, he swiftly, yet +without any loss of dignity or show of hurry, departed. Merla's +large eyes were downcast. She was a free woman, and came and went +unveiled, nor was it impossible for her to talk to the white +people, for her parents were poor and humble, and glad to make +piastres in any way they could. One of her sisters was a +water-carrier at the hotel in Khartoum, and she might be engaged +there also when she was older. But still she held her eyes down, +for she felt embarrassed and oppressed, and, besides, the topee and +the goggles had been replaced, and they spoilt the vision she had +seen first of the English face. + +"Well, Merla, if that's your name, will you come with me?" the +Englishman said lightly. He knew the tongue well that her brothers +spoke, not in any of its refinement and subtlety, but in the +ordinary distorted way an Englishman usually speaks a foreign +tongue. + +"I will ask if I may," she returned simply, in a low voice, and +drew back into the dark hut behind her. After a moment she +reappeared. "My mother and my brother have ordered it," she said +calmly. "I am ready." + +Struck by the philosophic, impassive accent of her voice, and not +feeling at all flattered, the young man added in rather a nettled +tone: + +"But I hope it's not disagreeable to you. You are willing to come?" + +Then Merla looked at him steadily from under her calm, +widely-arching brows: "I am willing." A calm pride enwrapped all +her countenance, and it seemed as if she said it somewhat as a +victim might say, "I am willing," on being led to the altar of +sacrifice. Yet her eyes were radiant, and seemed to smile on him. + +The young Englishman was puzzled, as young England mostly is by the +East, and, seeing this, the girl added, "Certainly I am willing; it +is fated I should go with you. Give me the black box." + +But it goes against the grain of an Englishman to let a woman carry +his baggage, though he hires her to do it, and he held his camera +back from her. + +"Take these," he said; "they are lighter," and he gave the little +tripod to her, and so they started down the mud sun-baked street +that leads through Omdurman to the desert, and out towards the +battle-ground of Kerreree. There were few people stirring; the men +had already started to their work in the fields by the Nile, or on +the river itself, and the women kept within the close darkness of +the huts mixing and baking meal for the evening's food. Merla +walked on swiftly and silently like a shadow at Stanhope's side +through the mud village, and then on into the silent heat of the +desert beyond. Here the fury of the sun was intense. The river was +out of sight, lying low between its banks. To infinite distance on +every side of them stretched the plain, and the soil here was not +golden sand, but curiously black, like powdered coal or lava. Not a +living thing moved near them; only, far away towards the horizon, +now and then passed a string of camels of some Bedouins travelling. +They walked on in silence. Stanhope found the walking heavy, as his +heeled boots sank into the loose, black soil, and it was difficult +to keep up with the swift, easy steps of the bare black feet beside +him. His duck suit was damp, and the line of flesh exposed between +cuff and glove on his wrist was burnt to a livid red already in the +smiting heat. Suddenly Merla's eyes fell on this, and she stopped. +Over her head she wore a loose veil of coarse white muslin. As she +stopped, she unwound this from her hair, and tore two strips from +it. Stanhope stopped too, well pleased at the pause. + +"You burn your English skin; the flesh will come off," she said +gravely, and before he quite realised it, she had passed one of the +muslin strips round and tied it on his wrist. Stanhope's instinct +was to protest at once, but there was something in the girl's +earnestness and the tender interest with which she put the muslin +on his hand that checked him. Also the pain, whenever his sharp +cuff touched the seared skin, was unpleasant, and made him really +appreciate the improvised protection. + +"Your pretty veil, Merla, you've torn it up for me," he remarked +regretfully as they started again. Merla glanced at him suddenly; +she said nothing, but the pride and joy in her eyes startled the +man beside her. He could find no more words, and silence fell +on them again till Merla roused him from a reverie by saying +indifferently: + +"Look! that white heap there--bones, dead men, dead horses. This +side, white bones too; many dead here--many bones." + +Stanhope looked round. Everywhere, scattered in heaps, shone the +white bones. They had come to the edge of the battlefield. Before +them rose the little hill of Teb-el-Surgham, crowned by its cairn +of black stones and rocks, surrounded by whitened bones and skulls, +from the summit of which the English watched the defeat of the +Khalifa's force. Stanhope cast his eyes over the dreary, black, +blood-soaked plain, on which there was no blade of grass, no plant, +no flower--only black rock and white bones, that shimmered together +in the torrid heat. + +"Horrible! Merla, war is horrible! Come and sit down; I'm dead +tired. Let's sit down here against this rock and rest." + +Stanhope threw himself down by one of the rocks at the base of the +hill, and leant back against it. The girl took her place on the +sand opposite him, with her feet tucked under her. Not far from +them lay a skull, turned upwards to the glaring sky. + +"Will you let me photograph you?" he asked after a minute's gazing +at the rich dark beauty of the youthful face, "or is it against +your customs?" + +"It is against our customs," Merla answered, her hands closing hard +on the tripod beside her. What terror it would mean for her to +stand before that great black box, and have that evil black eye +glare upon her for long seconds! She had seen her countrywomen flee +shrieking to their huts, when the Englishmen approached with their +black boxes. + +"But you will do it for me, won't you?" answered Stanhope +persuasively, having set his heart on the picture. + +"Yes, I will do it for you; it is right, if you wish it," she +answered steadily. + +Stanhope accepted at once such a convenient theory, and sprang up +to fix the tripod and the camera in order, and the girl sat still +on the sand watching him, cold with terror in the burning air. + +"Now, pick up that skull and hold it out in your hand, so. Yes, +that's right. Now, stand a little further back. Yes, that's +perfect." + +There was no difficulty in getting her to pose. The natural +attitudes of her race are all perfect poses. And Merla stood +erect, facing the camera, with the emblem of death in her hand. + +"Thank you; I am very much obliged! That'll be a first-rate +picture," he said gratefully when he had finished, and Merla sat +down with a strange swimming feeling of joy rushing over her. +Stanhope was some time fussing with his camera, and putting it back +in its case out of the light. Then he wanted lunch, and drew forth +a sandwich-case and a wine-flask. The girl would only eat very +little, and would not taste the wine. Stanhope, who was very hungry +and thirsty, ate all his sandwiches and drank all the wine, and +began to feel very bright, refreshed, and exhilarated. + +"Do you know you are very beautiful?" he remarked, as he stretched +himself comfortably in the shade of the rock and gazed at her, +seated sedately on the sand in front of him. + +"Beautiful?" she repeated slowly, reflectively, "am I? The white +camel that lives down by the market square is beautiful, and so was +the Mahdi's tomb." + +"Well, you are more beautiful even than the white camel or the +Mahdi's tomb," returned Stanhope, laughing. "And what do you think +of me?" he added curiously. "Where do I come in the list? somewhere +close after the white camel, I hope." + +Then, as she gazed at him steadfastly, without replying at all, he +felt rather piqued, and took off his blue glasses and squared his +fine shoulders against the rock. + +"Oh, you!" said the girl softly at last, "You are like nothing on +earth, lord! You are like the sun when he first comes over the +plain, or the moon at night, when it floats, white and shining, +through the blue spaces!" + +She sat sedately still, but her breast heaved under the straight, +white tunic: her eyes were full of soft fire: her voice was low, +and quivered with enthusiasm. Stanhope flushed scarlet. Confused +and startled, he stared into her eyes, and so they sat, silent, +gazing at each other. + + * * * * * + +That same afternoon there was a big fair or bazaar in the trampled +mud square in the centre of the Soudanese village that lies higher +up the river at the back of Khartoum. The place was gay with colour +and crowded with moving figures. From long distances, from far-off +villages down and up the river, the natives had come in, either to +sell or to buy along the wide, dusty road that went out from either +side of the square, leading each way north and south. The mud-huts +stood all round the square, backed by some date-palms, for Khartoum +and the village behind it are more favoured with shade than +sun-baked Omdurman. And in the centre of the square stood or sat +the natives, buying and selling, chaffering and gesticulating. Some +were Bishareens, with straight forms and features, and black bodies +almost covered with long strings and chains of beads. They stood +about gracefully to be admired, with their wooly hair fluffed out +at right angles to their head, for the occasion. Some were +corn-merchants, sitting leisurely before a heap of golden grain +piled up loosely on the ground. Others stood by patiently with +their fowls or goats or camels, feeding them with green fodder; and +others had vivid scarlet rugs and carpets of native make spread out +on the uneven ground. And all day long the noise of the merchants, +and the cry of the fowls, and the groan of the camels, and the +dust of the square, and the smoke of the cooking fires went up from +the bazaar. + +In one corner of it, on a square of blue carpet, spread beneath his +camel's nose, sat a merchant who had been observed to come early to +the fair. He appeared to be a man of some substance, for he was +clothed, and the camel kneeling beside him was fat and sleek, and +would easily make two of the thin camels of Khartoum. Opposite him, +sitting on his heels and holding out two lean hands to tend the +small fire that smoked between them, was another, obviously poorer, +from his smaller amount of dress and flesh. + +"It is true: your Merla is the pearl of the desert. I have heard it +from my mother," observed the merchant reflectively. "Still, think, +my brother, a good riding camel that can be hired out to the +Englishmen every day for thirty piastres the day; in a short time +you will feed on goat's flesh, and wear boots, with all that +money." + +The black eyes of the listener sparkled, but he objected shrewdly +enough. + +"My daughter eats not as much as a camel, and the English want not +a camel every day." + +The stranger, fat and comfortable-looking, with a certain amount of +opulent Oriental good looks, waved his hand with a lordly gesture. + +"Let it not be said that Balloon is an oppressor of the poor. Give +me the pearl, and this knife shall go with the camel, also this +piece of blue carpet--a noble offer, my brother; where will you +find such another?" + +He drew from his crimson sash a longish knife, keen-bladed, with +trueblue, Eastern steel, and having a good bone-handle, on which +the fingers clasped easily. The other took the knife and gazed at +it intently. + +"'Tis but a poor thing," he said at last, indifferently thrusting +it into the cloths twisted round his waist. "Yet the camel and the +carpet may suit me, and, as you say, you need not the girl at +present, I will agree, as I am a poor man, and the poor are ever +under the heel of the rich. The girl shall be sent to your house on +your return." + +"I go now northwards, and shall return by the full moon; disappoint +me not, Krino or it shall be evil for you." + +"I disappoint no man," replied Krino calmly, taking over from the +other the string of the camel, and the fine beast turned its dark, +soft head, and looked with liquid eyes on its new owner. + +The sky began to show an orange and crimson glow behind the palms, +and many cooking-fires now gleamed like spots of blood upon the +sand, and the figures still came and went, and talked and bartered, +for the goods were not nearly all sold, and the heaps of fine corn +were still high in many places, and the fair would go on to-morrow +and the next day. But Krino got up and took his way homeward, +exulting over his bargain, and leading the camel. + +At the same hour, lower down the Nile, at Omdurman, the river lay +calm now, without a ripple, and bathed in gold; a stream of liquid +gold it seemed, asleep between its deep-green banks, and only now +and then did a white-sailed felucca glide by in the golden evening +light. + +Two figures came down from the desert to the Nile out of the flat, +heated air of the plain to the divine freshness by the water. +Here, in the cool, golden light, they paused slow and reluctant to +part. + +"Good-night, Merla! Are you unhappy that I must go?" + +The girl raised her face, and looked at him with steadfast eyes. + +"The sun gilds the black rock, but the rock cannot expect the sun +to stay. I am quite happy. Good-night!" + +Another moment and the little launch had sprung out from the deep +shadowed bank on to the golden surface, and was steaming, amidst +the gold and rosy ripples, back to Khartoum. + +When Merla reached the little enclosure of stamped clay round her +hut, she saw a new camel feeding there, and cried out for joy. She +ran to it and clasped her hands about its velvet neck, and called +to her father, as he sat smoking at the doorway, a dozen questions. +Where had it come from? Whose was it? But the old man only chuckled +and laughed, and would not answer. + +"No, no," he thought, watching her with pride, as she played round +the camel, "let the maiden wait to know the joy in store for her +till the full moon; she is but a child." + +Stanhope went that night to a dance at the palace at Khartoum, but +he was late in arriving, and seemed very dull and absent-minded +when he came, and flattered the women less than usual. "He used to +be such a nice boy when he first came here," they complained +amongst themselves, "but he was quite horrid to-night--he must be +in love," and they all laughed, for every one knew there was no one +in Khartoum to fall in love with except themselves, and he had not +led any one of them to suppose she was the favoured one. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +The night was calm, and in the purple, star-filled sky the moon was +rising. It was at the full. The naphtha launch was on the river, +but it moved silently; current was with it, and the light airs +favourable, so there was no need of the engine; one single sail +carried the boat easily over the buoyant water. The stars and the +rising moon gleamed in the smooth, black ripples. Stanhope sat in +the boat thinking, wrapped in a cruel reverie. + +He felt he had sailed the craft of his life too near the perilous +shore of unconventionality, and now he saw the rocks ahead of him +plainly, on which it would be torn in pieces. Yet how to turn back, +or move the helm to steer away from them? + +"A month ago," he thought, as his eye caught the reflection of the +rising moon in the water, "when that moon was young, I was free. +Not a soul cared for me, whether I lived or died, and I cared for +no one." Now there was one, he knew, who lived upon his coming, +whose feet ran to meet him, whose eyes strained their vision to see +his first approach. And he, too; he was no longer free. His heart +went out to that other heart, beating for him alone so truly, so +faithfully, full of such unquestioning adoration and obedience, in +mud-walled sun-parched Omdurman. + +When the launch touched the bank, he sprang out and walked swiftly +up to their usual meeting-place: the deserted mud enclosure of a +deserted hut--an unlovely meeting-place enough--but filled with the +sweet air of the desert night and the royal light of the stars. + +"My lord looks weary to-night," said Merla softly, after they had +greeted each other, and had sat down side by side with their backs +to the low wall. + +"Yes, I am tired with thinking. What is to be the end of this, +Merla? Where is our love drifting us to?" + +"Why does my lord concern himself with that? We are in the hands of +Fate." + +Stanhope moved impatiently. + +"Our fate is what we make it." + +"It is not wise to enquire about our fate," replied Merla, and he +saw her face grow grave with resolution in the dim light. "But I +can tell you, if you like, what it will be: when you are ready, you +will go back to your own people, your own life, and you will be +very happy." + +"And you--?" asked Stanhope in a whisper. + +"I shall then have lived my life. I shall die and be buried out +there," and she motioned to the desert. "I shall have given my lord +happiness for a time: think what delight, what honour!" + +Stanhope shuddered. + +"Don't, don't, I can't bear to hear you; do you ask nothing for +yourself from life?" + +"Life has given me all now," returned Merla, with a proud smile on +her face. + +"Why should we not go home to my land together?" said Stanhope +passionately, in that sudden revolt against the laws of custom that +stirs all humanity at times. "Why should I not take you to live +with me for always to be my wife? who would forbid me?" + +Merla shook her head, and pressed hard on his hand lying beside her +on the sand. + +"The sun cannot lift the black rock from the desert and take it to +dwell in the blue spaces; neither can the sun stay with the rock. +You are grieving for me; do not. I am quite happy. I accept what +must be. My life ends when you go." + +For a wild moment it seemed to Stanhope that he must dare +everything and take her. After all, she was intelligent: she could +be educated. She was beautiful, youthful; and what a love she +poured out at his feet!--different in calibre, in nature, +different, from its root up, from any love he could hope to find +again--a love that asked absolutely nothing for itself, not even +the right to live, and yet would give its all unquestioningly, +unsparingly. It is not a toy to be thrown away lightly, and +Stanhope realised this. + +"The blue spaces are cold and empty, Merla," he said, suddenly +catching her to his breast. "You must come with me." + +"No, lord, it is impossible; you speak only for me," whispered +Merla, though she clasped his neck tightly. "You must go and live +happy, and I shall die happy; even in my grave I shall remember +your kisses." + + * * * * * + +An hour later, the moon was well up in the sky, though the light +was not yet brilliant, and they parted by the wall of the +cattle-byre with promises to meet on the morrow, and he turned and +left her standing in the shadow; but some instinct moved him, and +he returned and kissed her yet again, and said one more farewell; +then he took the narrow track leading down to the river, and Merla +knew that she must hasten home; for her father, who had been out in +the early evening, would be returning. Before she left she turned +back once more into the byre, and stood looking at the stars that +she had communed with so often: a great sadness fell on her +thoughts, a chill as after a final parting. As she turned to go, +her eyes fell on a grey patch on the byre floor--his coat! He had +left it behind. Merla gave a little laugh as she picked it up: the +parting seemed less final now. She would keep it till the morrow. +Would he want it? miss it? No, the night was so still and sultry; +and, throwing it over her arm, she passed onwards to her hut. + +As she neared the enclosure, her heart beat rapidly. A light was +burning within the hut, and by the moonlight she saw the great +camel moving restlessly in the narrow space outside. Angry voices +reached her in sharp discussion--her father's and another. Just +inside the enclosure she paused and listened, trembling, uncertain +what this unusual clamour and strange voice might mean. + +"I gave you my camel, my knife, and my carpet. Where is the Pearl I +was promised? Is not the moon at the full?" + +Merla heard these words with a thrill passing through every fibre. +She knew her father had no pearl in his possession, but was not +her name "Pearl of the Desert"? Next there came some confused +murmur--seemingly words of apology--in her father's voice that she +could not catch, but the stranger interrupted angrily: + +"Unhappy man! tricked seller, tricked buyer, would you know where +the Pearl is? would you know where your daughter hides? I have +heard that she has been seen with a stranger, a white-faced +stranger--I know not if he be a leper or an Englishman--" with a +bitter laugh, "but in either case I want her not. Come, give me my +knife, and I lead off my camel." + +Merla's heart failed, for her father gave a shriek as he heard the +accusation, and a shower of oaths and imprecations came to her +shrinking ears. Nothing was clear any more; there was only clamour +and raving in the hut. But once she caught the words, "to the +river--does he go to the river?" and above all the storm of words +there was the awful sound of the sharpening of a knife. + +Like a shadow, noiseless and silent, Merla crept swiftly, under the +shade of the camel's body, across the enclosure to the mud +partition behind which her youngest brother slept, and roused him. +"Nungoon!" she said breathlessly, gripping his shoulder, "take the +track to the river, and run for your life. You will overtake the +Englishman. Tell him this. 'Merla says: Run to the launch and get +off the land quickly, and never come back to Omdurman, or come with +a guard. They seek to kill you here.' Go, brother; run!" + +The boy, startled from his sleep, gathered himself together and +rose. His sister, leaning over him with ashy face and fixed eyes, +seemed like Fate itself directing him. Moreover, Oriental youth is +accustomed to obey unquestioningly. Without a word, simply with a +sign of assent, he fled out of the enclosure, down the track to the +river. + +Merla stepped back and out of the yard, and stood waiting, silent +as before; she had formed her resolution, and all fear was past. +The mats in front of the door were suddenly pushed aside, and a +streak of light fell across the yard, but it could not touch her, +sheltered by the wall. She saw her father rush out, wild-eyed, and +the long blade of the knife gleamed blue in the moonlight. + +Then, as he dashed through the enclosure entrance, she moved her +feet suddenly, scraping the sand, and then fled, wrapped in +Stanhope's long light overcoat, up towards the desert, away from +the river. Krino, blinded, maddened by passion, glanced at the wall +whence came the scraping sound, and then, catching sight of a +flying form in English dress, plunged with a cry of triumph after +it. Merla fled like the wind along in the shadow of the wall, +keeping in the darkness, with her head down, fearing lest her bare +head or bare feet might betray her. But Krino's eyes were fixed on +the silvery grey of the English overcoat, and, blind to all else, +he raced on in the uncertain light with his eyes intent on the +shoulders between which he would plunge his knife. Up through the +heart of sleeping Omdurman, past silent huts and yellow walls that +gleamed pale in the moonlight, through the village to the desert, +hunted and hunter fled on, and Krino's heart rose in savage +triumph. + +"Fool! he cannot escape me now; by the river--yes, but not in the +desert; he cannot escape." + +And the desert was reached and entered, and still the two noiseless +shadows fled over the sand. + +Merla's strength was failing: her sight was reeling; she could run +no more. Only the joy of knowing that each step led the enemy +farther from her loved one had supported her till now. Now he was +safe, he must be away on the friendly river. There had been ample +time. Not now would it be possible for Krino to reach the river +before her lover had embarked. It was well. All was well! And the +black sand spun round her in the moonlight, as she heard the hiss +of her father's breath behind her. She wavered. With a bound the +man threw himself forward. One stab, and the keen blade sank +through the flesh below the shoulder, driving her forward, and she +fell face downwards on the sand. + +Blind still with fury, the Soudanese bent down, tore at the head to +drag it back that he might slash it from the body, and turned up +the face to the moonlight. Fixed in agony and triumph, it looked +back at him--the dead face of his daughter, the PEARL OF THE +DESERT. + + + + +IV + + +The last flare of the sunset was falling on the walls of Jerusalem, +staining them crimson, and flooding all the enchanting circle of +the hills that lie round the city with rosy light. Low down in one +of the depressions, where the long sun-rays could not reach, and +the olive-trees looked grey in the twilight, stood the grim, white +Monastery of the Holy Virgin. The air was sweet and cool here, far +from the pollution of the city, and the evening sky stretched fair +and radiant above the purple hills. Unbroken quiet reigned, and +only one thing in the landscape moved--the figure of a girl +ascending swiftly a narrow, stony road under the shadow of the +wall. She seemed burdened with many things that she was carrying, +and oppressed with some haunting fear, for she looked back +frequently, and then pressed on with redoubled speed. The stony +track brought her at last to the corner of the enclosure of +olive-trees belonging to the monastery; it branched here, one path +leading straight to the gates of the building, the other skirting +the olive-wood plantation, and then passing on out into the barren +hills and open country towards Jericho. The girl took the second +track, and here, under the friendly shade of the sheltering trees, +she walked more erect and easily. When she reached the farther +corner of the plantation she stopped and listened, gazing round +her. There was no sound, the light was failing, the hush deepening. +"Nicholas," she breathed in a clear whisper, leaning on the low +stone plantation wall, "are you there?" A rustling of some long +robe against bushes answered her--the olive branches were pushed +aside, and the figure of a Greek priest came from between them. +With a smile of intense joy on his face he leant over the wall, and +clasped the girl's two soft hands in his. + +"Esther!" he whispered back, "you have come; you have decided then, +you are ready?" + +"I am quite ready," answered the girl, pressing close to the wall +and lifting her face; the last gleam of gold light from the rising +ridge to the west touched it, and showed it was very fair. "If you +are sure it is right, if you have faith in Jehovah to lead us." + +The priest's face, pale and emaciated, with the rapt look of the +visionary stamped upon it, lighted up suddenly with a new +exaltation. + +"I am quite sure. Last night when I was praying, still in doubt, +before the great crucifix, I heard a voice from above saying: +'Nicholas, you are absolved from further prayer and penance here. +Go forth with the maiden you love and serve Me in the world. The +joy of human hearts singing to Me in grateful praise is more +pleasing to Me than these groans and tears and prayers. I have +created the blue sky and the laughing seas and the green hills; go +forth and see my works, and praise Me.'" + +The Jewish girl had listened intently, her face as rapt as his +while he spoke, the fire of joy glowing in her eyes. + +"Come, then, at once," she murmured in an ardent whisper, and +Nicholas stepped over the low boundary into the hill road, now +wrapped in darkness. Before them still glimmered dimly the white +outlines of the monastery behind the trees. The man stood +motionless, gazing at them, the girl's hand tightly clasped in his +and held against his breast. + +"The agony, the misery I have suffered behind those walls," he +muttered, "for sixteen years!" + +"It is over," murmured the girl; "come away to the hills; we have +no time to lose." + +She stooped to gather up the objects in the road. "I have brought +you these things," she said confusedly, hardly audibly. "Change +into them quickly, and then follow me up the road. No, I will take +all the rest," she added, as he took the bundle of clothing she +gave him and stretched out his hand for the other smaller things. +"Hasten, Nicholas, it is so dangerous here!" With this parting +entreaty she went on up the road carrying the bundles. + +After she had gone a little way she paused and listened--all was +quite still--the stars now showed fitfully in the deepening purple +of the sky, a little breeze blew gently up from the wilderness +towards Jerusalem. The girl sat down by the wall, with her back +against it, and her hands clasped round her knees. Her face had a +strange, wonderful beauty as she sat waiting, white-skinned and +softly-moulded, with resolute, dark eyebrows drawn straight across +the calm forehead. A few moments passed, and then Nicholas +approached; his flowing priest's robes were gone, the high, +straight, black hat of the order was no longer on his head: it was +bare, and the long uncut hair, as the Greeks wear it, was twisted +in two thick fair coils round his head. Esther sprang up, +untwisting a broad sash from her waist. + +"Take this! No wait! let me twist it round your head--yes, so. Now +it looks like a Jewish turban. You have the robe and the hat with +you?--yes, bring them, bring them," and they hurried on, fleeing +away from the monastery. Esther knew a short track across the hills +which in a little while joins the great main road to Jericho, that +descends down and down through the bare rolling hills of the +wilderness to the fair plain of the Jordan and the shores of the +Dead Sea. For the first few miles they sped on in silence with +clasped hands, the night wind rushing against their faces, and no +sound coming to their ears but the occasional whine of the hungry +hyenas, prowling over the stony, starlit hills. In the man's breast +swelled an exaltation beyond all words: it lifted him up so, that +his feet seemed flying over the rugged ground without touching it; +the night-wind filled his veins with fire: his brain seemed alight +and glowing. For years past the bare stone walls of his monk's cell +had given him pictures painted by his fevered fancy of such a walk +as this through starlit, open spaces--a walk to life and freedom. +For years his hot, caged feet had paced the stone cell floor, +aching to pass the threshold; and for the last month ever since +from amongst the olive-trees he had seen the fair Jewish girl pass +by, a new vision had come upon those white-washed walls to add its +torture to the rest. Evening after evening he had stolen out at +sunset to see her pass, as she came and went from the little +cluster of Jewish houses on the ridge beyond the monastery and +watched the sunlight play upon her brows and hair. Could this +thing, so divinely beautiful, be the creation of the devil to +destroy men's souls? His reason revolted against it. If so, the +warm sunlight and radiant sky and air, the flowers and the purple +hills, his weary eyes strained out to must be also the devil's +work, for all these things were akin, and the woman passing amongst +them was but the masterpiece made by the same hand. + +"Say," he had said wearily, one night, to a monk passing him like a +silent shadow on his way to his cell. "Is all the world the work of +the devil?" + +"Nay, brother, what blasphemy!" returned the other, startled beyond +measure. "It is all the work of God" and Nicholas had passed into +his cell well pleased. And the next evening he had called softly to +the masterpiece of the Creator, as she went by, and the girl, +startled and fearful at first, had spoken a few words out of sheer +pity for the hungry, lonely soul looking out so wistfully at her; +and then how soon had come other meetings, the plan to escape--that +final vision which had seemed to justify him,--and now the flight! + +"Will the boat be there! will they wait for us?" he asked eagerly, +as they walked swiftly on. + +"Yes, I heard the boat was coming over from the Jewish Colony +beyond the Dead Sea, and I sent word down it was to take me in it +when it left again," the girl replied, "We shall get down there +to-morrow evening; we will go to old Solomon's house; he will let +us stay with him one night, and in the morning we must get down to +the shore and the boat." + +Nicholas pressed her hand as they walked on. How wise she was, this +little Jewish girl! She had lived her short life in the world, and +knew her way about in it so well. And he, so much older, felt like +a child beside her, after all those long, deadening, numbing years +in the monastery. + +Five miles more of the white, stony road were traversed, winding in +and out, but always descending between the barren desolate hills of +the wilderness, and then Esther said with a little sob in her +voice: + +"We must stop here now and rest, I am so tired. I cannot go any +further to-night." + +"Tired?" he echoed wonderingly. Could he ever feel tired now? His +feet seemed borne on wings. But he stopped, and bending over her, +lifted and carried her tenderly from the starlit road to a large +rock jutting out from the hillside. Here, in the shadow on the +farther side, they lay down, and the girl fell at once into the +deep sleep of utter bodily fatigue. The man lay open-eyed clasping +her to him, his brain on fire with freedom, listening with joy to +the cries of the wandering wild animals amongst the hills. + +The following evening, late, they reached the plain. The wilderness +lay behind them, and in front, beyond the green darkness of the +trees, they knew the starlight was gleaming on the Dead Sea. The +heat down here was suffocating, and their weary feet moved on +slowly through the village--a collection of a few white flat-roofed +houses, which are all that now mark the spot where stood once the +rich, mighty city of Jericho. In the last house shone a light, and +Esther led Nicholas towards it. + +Solomon was waiting for them, and had prepared for them his best +upper room--a little narrow apartment, with windows facing towards +the sea--where supper was laid, and opening from this a tiny +sleeping chamber. A swinging lamp hung over the centre table, and +Solomon's younger brother waited on them. Esther, with the dust of +the road washed from her skin, looked very fair, sitting under the +light of the lamp, her eyes glowing with the mysterious fires of +love and joy, and the two Jews sat listening to her eagerly as she +talked to them, telling them the news of her family and friends in +Jerusalem. + +"If I could only go up to the city," sighed the younger man. "But I +cannot walk, and I have no horse," and he grew sullen and dejected +and said no more, while the elder continued to ask and be answered +a hundred questions about the life and doings of the city. + +That night, past midnight, when the whole plain of Jericho lay +wrapped in a deep hush, and not one light gleamed in the darkness +of the village, a carriage drawn by two foam-covered horses +thundered down the last steep descent of the road from Jerusalem +into the village, and dashed through it straight to Solomon's +dwelling. Esther, asleep in the upper room, with Nicholas' head +pillowed on her shoulder, heard the clatter of wheels and awoke +suddenly, all her body growing rigid with terror. + +"Nicholas, awake! they have followed us!" She sprang from the bed, +and opening the window noiselessly, looked out. The night was quite +dark, but by straining her eyes she could descry the form of a +covered carriage below, and two dark figures stood hammering on the +house-door. The sounds rang reverberating through the dwelling, and +disturbing the still, calm air without, laden with the scent of +myrtle and orange-flower. A window above opened, and the old Jew +looked out. + +"Who knocks?" he called. + +"Priests from Jerusalem, from the Monastery of the Holy Virgin. One +whom we seek is within; let us enter." Esther drew back into the +room, and saw Nicholas standing behind her, his face haggard with +despair. "Jehovah, then, is not with us." + +Esther pressed his hand. + +"Esther is with you," she murmured softly. "You shall not go back, +they shall not touch you. Give me your priest's clothing, and stay +here." + +Before he could answer she had snatched up the garments and was +gone, fastening the door behind her. Outside on the stairway she +met old Solomon, coming slowly down to answer the imperative +summons from below. + +"Delay all you can in admitting them," she whispered, then ran past +him, fleet of foot, up the stairs to the Jews' room--the door stood +open as Solomon had left it. She entered, and stood within in the +darkness. + +"Hiram," she called softly, "you wished to go up to Jerusalem. Now +is your opportunity. Get up, put on these things, and the priests +will take you back in their carriage." She heard the man rise and +bound to the floor. + +"Is that you, Esther? Have they sent from the monastery to take +Nicholas?" + +"Yes," returned Esther in an agonised voice. "But you will not let +them take him? See, Hiram, they cannot hurt you; they will not +recognise you, nor suspect you here in the darkness, in the dress +of Nicholas. You need not speak. They will hasten you into the +carriage. To-morrow when they discover you, it will be too late for +them to overtake us. We shall be gone, and _you_ they will not +want. They cannot put you in their monastery. They must release +you, and you--will be at the gates of Jerusalem." + +Her low voice, thrilled with her agony of fear and suspense: there +was the very soul of persuasion in it. As she pleaded in the +darkness, she heard the man breathing quickly, and shuffling his +feet on the floor. He was hesitating. He longed to go up to the +city, but this seemed a dangerous expedient. Yet it would serve +Esther, and she was very fair, and was of his own kindred. There +was a noise and clamour downstairs beneath them--the sound of the +slow unbarring of bolts, and angry voices without. Esther drew +nearer, and her voice grew sharp with fear: + +"Hiram, as they are pushing you to the carriage, I will throw +myself into your arms, and you shall kiss me your last farewell, as +if you were Nicholas." + +In the darkness she felt that the man stretched out his hand. + +"Give me the clothes; I will go." + +Esther threw them into his arms, and darted out, closing the door, +and hung over the stair-rail. There was no light, but she could +hear the heavy footsteps coming up. Nearer they came, and nearer, +stumbling, and Solomon's step behind, as he followed the priests, +grumbling and protesting. Now they were almost opposite the door of +the room where Nicholas crouched waiting. + +"He is not here! he is not here!" wailed out Esther's voice +suddenly from above, and the priests hearing her, rushed up the +stairs to where she stood, passing by, forgotten, the door of the +lower room. + +Rigid and tense she stood before the door as if guarding it, her +arms outstretched before it. The first priest pushed her roughly on +one side, the second opened the door, and beyond, dimly outlined +against the open window square, was visible the draped figure and +heavy hat of a priest. With a shout of triumph they darted forward, +and Esther gave a great cry of wild despair. The priests dragged +him out unresisting, and forced him down the stairs. No word came +from him. Solomon, leaning back against the wall to let them pass, +stretched out his hand to the weeping Esther; but she passed him, +crying and hurrying after her lover. Down in the passage the large +door stood wide, showing the waiting carriage in the dim starlight +of the sultry night. As they pushed him to the door, he suddenly +wrested himself free for an instant, and Esther rushed into his +arms. + +"Oh, Nicholas, Nicholas! Good-bye!" + +The priests seized her by the shoulder, wrenching her away, and one +hurled her with a fury of loathing back into the darkness of the +passage. Then they forced their prisoner forward, stumbling, +resisting, to the carriage. The door snapped to, the horses plunged +forward, and the carriage thundered away into the night. Esther +picked herself up from where she had fallen in the passage, and +bruised and trembling, but with a joyous smile, rushed up the +narrow stairway. + +"Solomon!" she said, whispering in the old Jew's ear, "Hiram has +gone in the place of Nicholas! Nicholas is safe here. Oh, help us +to get to the sea!" + +Solomon shook with laughter as he heard--for a Jew loves dearly a +clever ruse--and he stroked Esther's soft hair as she stood by him. + +"Light us a lamp, and let us get away to the shore, that we can +embark and be away on the water at dawn, before they discover it +and return," Then she passed by him and entered the room where +Nicholas awaited her. Solomon trimmed a lamp and a lantern for +them, and put up some bread and meat for their journey, his +shoulders shaking with inward chuckles as he did so. + +"Hiram a priest!" he repeated to himself; "that is a joke indeed, +and Esther, what a quick brain she has--a true daughter of Israel!" +and Esther was murmuring within to Nicholas: + +"Jehovah has saved us. Now let us hasten down to the sea." + +The next morning, when the dawn broke soft and rosy over the fair +plain of Jericho, the sea that is called the Dead Sea, yet seems, +in its glorious wealth of colour and sparkling brilliance to be +rather the emblem of Life, glowed and flashed like a huge sapphire +in the sun's rays, and at its calm edge, that meets the shore +without a ripple, swayed gently the ship of the pilgrims from the +Jewish Colony. + +Nicholas and Esther sat side by side watching the pilgrims' oars +dip quietly in perfect rhythm as they sang. And the song of praise +went up through the golden air, and echoed back to the sunny, +silent strand vanishing behind them. + + + + +V + + +Dawn was breaking over the desert. Steadily the triumphant rose +spread upward in the pale opalescent sky, and broad waves of light +rippled slowly over the wide level plain. The little keen breeze of +the morning, the herald of the dawn that runs ever in front of its +chariot, stirred the branches of the palm trees by the Nile, and +played a moment idly with the flap of a tent door before it passed +onward. Here, some two miles away from cool Assouan, lying out in +the desert, was the Bishâreen encampment, and the last small tent +of the long line had its door open, and the flap of the awning +loose, with which the morning wind stopped to play. + +Within, seated cross-legged on the scarlet rug and sheepskin which +formed their bed, were two girls braiding their hair before a tiny +square of glass, which each in turn held up for the other. + +"How cold the morning is! How I hate to hear the wind shake the +door flaps," one said and shivered. + +"Doolga, don't; you are holding the glass all crooked; I cannot see +myself. Why should you feel cold this morning of all others, when +Sheik Ilbrahim dar Awaz is coming to claim you?" returned the +other, and she laughed softly, with her slim fingers busy trying to +bind up and restrain her dusky cloud of hair. + +How lovely she was, this young Bishâreen, who had looked on the +yearly fall of the Nile but fifteen times--lovely as the tall +slender palm of the oasis, or the gold light on the river at +sunset. Tall and straight, with the stately carriage and proud head +of her race; smooth and supple, with every limb faultlessly moulded +under the clear, lustrous skin. + +"Silka, Silka! I cannot marry the Sheik. I am in terror of him. +Help me, save me!" + +The little glass fell on the blanket between them. In the warm rose +glow now filling the tent, Doolga's face was ashen-coloured. +Awe-struck and startled Silka gazed wide-eyed upon her. For an +instant the two girls sat staring in silence into each other's +eyes. So much alike they were that one face seemed the reflection +of the other, only there was a bloom, a light, a sweetness on +Silka's that was missing in the other. + +"Why?" she breathed after that first startled silence, "what is the +matter, Doolga? Tell me; tell me everything." + +She drew nearer her sister, and put one arm round her. The pink +light from without, striking through the tent canvas, touched her +face, showing its delicately-cut, exquisite features and the tender +love filling the eyes. + +"I hate the Sheik!" sobbed Doolga, putting down her head on the +other's soft bare shoulder; "I don't want him. I love _him_!" + +And Silka felt that everything indeed was told. The incoherent, +inexplicable words were clear enough to her. She trembled all over, +and the two girls clung together in the little tent, while the +noise of a large encampment awakening grew about them outside. + +Suddenly Doolga grew calm; she lifted her face, and Silka saw it +was grey, with great lines of anguish cut in it, and her heart +seemed to contract with pain, for she loved Doolga better than +anything she knew in the world, and Doolga's suffering was her +suffering. + +"I thought, father thought you would be glad to marry the Sheik," +she faltered. + +"I cannot. I will throw myself into the Nile rather; Silka, help +me!" + +"How can I?" + +"_You_ marry the Sheik!" Doolga's eyes were alight with flame. +Something of the tiger's glare shone in them. She bent forward and +seized the other girl's wrists in a feverish grip. The clasp hurt +and burnt like fire. Silka drew back instinctively, paling with +surprise. + +"I marry the Sheik?" she repeated, "but--" + +"Yes, you _must_! Oh, Silka, you have always loved me: save me now. +I cannot. It will be death to me. I love--I love--" she hesitated; +then added, "so much. You love no one. Why not then the Sheik? Do +this for me. I will think of you, bless you always. Save me from +death; save me from the Nile!" + +The burning words, uttered low, in that strange, strained voice she +hardly recognised, fell upon Silka like drops of molten lead. Her +sister seemed mad: her eyes started forward from her livid face: +her clasp on Silka's wrists gripped like iron. Silka's heart was +overwhelmed with pity and distress. + +"How can I?" she murmured back, bewildered by the sudden revelation +of misery in the other--this other that had grown up with her, +played with her, slept with her side by side through the soft, hot +nights when they had lain counting the stars through a chink in the +tent. Side by side their bodies had nestled together, and side by +side their hearts had always been. + +"You have but to unveil your face to the Sheik," returned the other +quickly, eagerly, almost furiously, "and he will take you instead +of me. Think, Silka! the head of the tribe, fifty camels, a +thousand goats--" She stopped in her eager outpour of persuasion. +Silka was looking at her straight from under her dark, level brows, +her lips curled in a sorrowful disdain. + +"Have his riches any weight with you, Doolga? Why do you offer them +to me?" she said proudly. + +"Because you are free: you do not love," impetuously returned the +other with glib, persistent vehemence. "I would marry the Sheik, I +would prize his flocks, his riches; but I love--I love--I cannot!" + +"Whom do you love so much?" replied Silka sadly. "Why have you not +told me? Who is he?" + +The girls were seated on the bed in one corner of the tent close +beside its stretched canvas wall. There was a little eyelet, a +square hole with a flap buttoned down over it, on a level with +their heads. At Silka's question Doolga turned to the canvas, and, +with an impatient movement, tore up the flap and looked out. The +plain was bathed in gold: above, the pure, pink glow still hung in +the limpid sky. The encampment was astir. The tents were open, and +little cooking fires, sending up their spirals of blue smoke were +dotted over the sand. At a few paces' distance from the main row of +tents, the camels, lying down, made a velvet-like patch of shade on +the gleaming gold of the sand, and herds of white goats stood near, +their silky coats flashing in the morning sunlight. Silka looked +out, too, over her sister's shoulder. She saw the burnished gold of +the plain and the luminous sky, and between these two a figure +that stood by a low brown tent, with the sunlight falling full on +its noble brow and the straight profile turned towards them. Doolga +wrung Silka's hand, that she still clutched, as they knelt side by +side on the sheepskin looking through the eyelet. + +"That is he!" she said, and Silka's lips parted suddenly in a +little scream of pain. + +"What is the matter?" asked Doolga roughly, drawing her back from +the aperture, and letting the flap fall. + +"You hurt me," replied Silka. "Is that the one you love?" Her voice +sounded tremulous: her eyes, fixed on Doolga, seemed to widen with +increasing pain. + +"Yes, that is he; that is Melun," answered Doolga softly. "Is he +not handsome, wonderful? Why do you stare so? Might not any girl +love him?" + +A little smile played round Silka's lips. + +"Yes, indeed, any girl might love him," she answered. + +"But not as I do--no, never! Oh, Silka, I cannot tell you how I +love him. More than the Nile, more than the stars, more than we +have ever loved each other! I have met him often when I went to +draw water, and sometimes we have stayed together in the +palm-grove. I was so happy till father sold me to the Sheik; and +now I must part from Melun for ever! Do not make me, dear, darling +Silka; do not send me to the Nile!" She spoke with increasing +excitement, with passionate intensity. She was close to Silka, and +she laid one arm softly round her neck and put her face close to +hers. Such a beautiful oval face it was!--the face that Silka +loved: as she looked at it, her heart melted within her. + +"See, dearest Silka," continued the other coaxingly, "you have +nothing to do but to unveil before the Sheik; you are just like me, +only a thousand times lovelier. He will not want me then, but you. +You can say to our father: As I am fairer than my sister, he will +give you two more camels. Father will be pleased with the camels, +and I shall be left free to marry Melun." + +"But suppose I don't want to marry the Sheik either," said Silka, +slowly stroking the curls of the sheepskin as she looked down upon +it. + +"But why should you not? he has flocks and herds; he will give you +necklets and bracelets, and a camel to ride, and take you to the +oasis? Why should you mind?" + +"It is late, Doolga. Father will be returning soon. Go, fill your +urns at the well." + +"But will you promise--?" + +"I can promise nothing yet. Go, go, leave me, you must let me think +a little." + +Doolga got up well satisfied. She knew Silka had never refused her +anything since they had first played as babies together in the +sand. Silka loved her. Silka had never denied her anything. + +She took her large earthenware jar, poised it on her shoulder, and +went out of the tent into the hot light. Silka lay on the sheepskin +where her sister had left her, and turned her face to it, shaken +with a storm of feeling that convulsed her slender body from head +to foot. She heard none of the cheerful sounds of life stirring +round the tent; she heard only Doolga's threat of the Nile, her +passionate pleading for help. Her face was buried in the sheepskin, +yet she saw plainly in the wall of darkness before her eyeballs +the figure of the Bishâreen standing out against the pink light of +the morning sky. So it was Melun that Doolga loved! And to Melun +all her own passionate impulsive heart had been given through her +eyes. Had she not, morning after morning, gazed out through the +square eyelet to catch a glimpse of him as he came from his tent, +dressed in his snowy white linen tunic, and with countless strings +of coloured beads twisted round the firm column of his throat and +hanging from his arms? Melun, the necklace-seller of Assouan! +Melun, that the foreign tourists stopped to gaze after, as he +walked with slow and stately steps beneath the lebek trees on the +"boulvard" by the Nile. Young and straight and slender, with a +beautiful face and form, he never offered his wares for sale. He +simply stood and looked at the tourists, and they came and bought +largely. They came up to him with curious eyes to chaffer for his +blue-glass beads, and stare at his smooth, perfectly-moulded arms +and throat, at the wonderfully straight features, and the lofty +carriage of his head, at the thick hair, like fine, black wool, +that waved above his forehead and clustered round the nape of his +neck, interwoven with his brilliant blue beads. Ah! how she loved +Melun! how she had dreamed of the day when her elder sister, +happily married, she herself could go to her father and say, "Let +Melun, the necklace-seller, come to the tent and see my face." And +now, not for him, but for the old hard-visaged Sheik, she was asked +to unveil. "I cannot do it; no, I cannot," she muttered to herself, +and the thought of Melun came to her softly. "I have but to look at +him, and he must love me; he is mine." Did not her mirror tell her +this each morning? Had not her sister but now said the same? She +smiled to herself, and balm seemed poured through her. Then there +came another thought piercing her like a dagger. Melun is not mine, +but hers. She loves him; he loves her. They have met in the +palm-grove. Never, never, could she unveil for him now. He must +never see her. Though he loved her a thousand times, yet would +she never take him from Doolga. Doolga, bright, graceful, and +beautiful, the light of her eyes, the joy of the tent! could she +bear to see her brought through the door cold, motionless, +lifeless, killed by the embrace of the Nile? + +When Doolga returned with the flush of warmth on her cheek and the +jar full of shimmering water on her shoulder, Silka was sitting +upright on the bed with dry, wide eyes. One glance at her told +Doolga that she herself was free, that the other would take up her +burden and bear it for her. She crossed over with a quick beautiful +movement, lithe, free, untamed. + +"Darling Silka, you will consent? you will promise?" + +"Do you meet him often in the palm-grove?" returned Silka; it was +now her eyes that were full of flame as she met her sister's. + +"Why--Melun? Yes, whenever it was possible. To-night there will be +no moon; I was going, but why should you ask?" She bent forward +quickly, eagerly, some faint suspicion stirring in her. + +"If I do this for you--if I save you--if I show myself to the +Sheik, then you must let me go to the palm-grove to-night." + +Doolga fell back from her, surprise and terror and horror mingling +in her face. She clasped her small, soft hands together and wrung +them. + +"Oh, Silka! you know, if he sees you, he will not look at me again; +he will not care." + +Silka smiled a slow, painful smile. + +"Do you not see?" she said in a whisper. "I shall go as you. Who +will know it is not you? Not Melun. He will be expecting you! he +has never seen me. I will not betray myself nor you, but this is my +condition. To-morrow I go in your stead to the Sheik; to-night, I +go in your stead to Melun." + +Doolga stared at her, barely comprehending. + +"But why--why?" she stammered in return. + +"I go to the Sheik in your stead because I love you, and to Melun +in your stead because I love him," replied Silka firmly. + +There was a smile in her eyes, but her lips were pale, compressed, +and sad. Doolga gazed at her in silence, both hands clasped tightly +now over her swelling breast. Astonishment, gratitude, mistrust, +and jealousy were all struggling together within it for mastery. + +"You love Melun too?" she said at last. "Then why do you not take +him? One glance from you and he is yours." + +"He was yours first," answered Silka miserably. "I cannot take him +from you." + +"And you will marry the Sheik to save me?" + +"Yes," replied Silka. + +Then Doolga fell on her knees and thanked Silka and kissed her, and +Doolga's kisses were very sweet, and while those lips pressed hers +Silka forgot everything else in the world. At last Doolga said in a +sudden recrudescence of jealousy: + +"In the grove to-night you will not--" and the rest was whispered. + +"No," answered Silka; "I am the bride of the Sheik. You need fear +nothing. But I must see Melun; all my life long I shall feed on +your happiness. There will be nothing else for me. I shall live on +it. To do this I must have a vision of it before I go, and it will +stay by me for ever." + +That afternoon the tent was gay with unrolled silks and scarlet +rugs, and coffee stood out in little porcelain cups upon the floor, +for the Sheik Ilbrahim had come to the final parley for his bride. +He sat before the coffee-cups on a black goat-skin, the pipe of +honour placed beside him. A grave, quiet man, with kind eyes, but +already far on in the winter of life. Opposite him sat his host, +the owner of the tent and father of the girls. Shrewd-eyed, +keen-faced, quietly he did his bargaining. Earlier in the day the +elder girl had laid the plan before him: herself for Melun, the +necklace-seller of Assouan, who owned neither camels nor goats, but +would pay well in silver straight from the hands of the tourists; +her younger sister for the Sheik, who would give doubtless two more +camels for her wonderful beauty. The father listened placidly. It +was not a bad bargain. + +"But," he answered finally, "why should you not go to the Sheik now +for two camels and by and by another will come for your sister and +give four camels. Then shall I have had six for the two of you." + +"But she may die," objected the ready Doolga, the keen-witted +daughter of her father. "Better secure the camels now, father." + +"True, she may die, and the bargain be lost," mused the father, +and at last he spread out his hands with a gesture of conclusion. + +"It is for the Sheik to decide," he said merely, and Doolga was +content. She knew beforehand what the Sheik would decide when he +saw her sister. Now the two girls sat clasped in each other's arms +behind a curtain hung across a corner of the tent, and waited +silently till they should be summoned. + +"If she be fairer than your daughter Doolga," they heard the Sheik +say good-humouredly, "she must be fair indeed, and worth four +camels. Let me see her." + +At those words Silka rose and stepped from behind the little +curtain. With timid steps she came forward to the centre of the +tent. A linen tunic clasped round the base of her throat fell +almost to her ankles, caught lightly in at the waist by a scarlet +cord; loose sleeves falling from the shoulder half-concealed her +rounded arms; but her lovely face, with its arching brows and +liquid eyes, looked out unveiled from her frame of cloudy hair, and +drew the Sheik's heart towards her. Wrapt in the enthusiasm of the +holiest of all loves, that of sister for sister, tense with the +ardour of her sacrifice, a light shone out from the tender soul +within that fired all her beauty, making it burn like the sun, and +intoxicate like wine. + +Her father eyed her, and wished he had asked five camels. + +The Sheik stretched out his right hand towards her. + +"Are you pleased to come, my daughter, to the oasis of roses with +me?" + +"My lord beholds his slave," answered Silka, and her eyes were full +of light, and her lips were curved in smiles. + +"My camels, four of the best, will find their stable behind your +tent to-night," said the Sheik to her father, and he filled the cup +he had drunk from and handed it to the girl. Silka raised it to her +lips. + +"Does it please my lord that he fetch me to-morrow, and leave me in +my father's tent to-night?" + +The Sheik laughed good-naturedly, his eyes fixed on the pleading, +youthful face. + +"It pleases me not to leave you; but if you ask me, little one, I +will not refuse. Let it be so." + +As he spoke Silka drained the coffee-cup he had given her, and by +so doing bound herself to him henceforward. + +There was no moon that night; it was dark with the darkness of the +desert, and the splendour of its million stars. As Silka came +softly from the tent she looked upwards; the wild heaving of her +bosom seemed repeated in that restless, pulsing light above. The +soft breath of the desert came to her; it whispered of Melun +waiting for her in the palm-grove. How happy she was! This was +life: one night of life was hers--no more. With the dawn came the +end. This was her first--her last--night of life, but how exquisite +it was! The voice of the desert sang in her ears, the light soft +sand caressed her flying feet. Within bounded her heart, buoyant +with leaping joy. Never had she realised the strength of her swift, +straight ankles--never till now the free, joyous power in her +supple limbs. + +Before her rose the palm-grove, distinct in all its beauty of +feathery-topped trees, against the gorgeous starlit sky. By her +side gleamed now the line of the river, silver in the starlight; +smooth and lovely, studded with its fierce black rocks, flanked by +its orange sand, and here and there, on its edge in the radiant +darkness, rose a lofty palm lifting its swaying branches towards +the jewelled sky. Silka looked at the river curiously. Now she was +keenly alive; life was sharp and alert in every fibre, but it was +the last. This night of life was also a night of good-byes. +To-morrow she would look on the river again, but she would be dead +then--dead to joy and to love; it would only be Doolga who would be +living rich in both these gifts--gifts given by her. The thought +ran through her with a tumultuous gladness. + +She entered the palm-grove and went straight to the tree that +Doolga had told her of, a withered palm. A figure sat at the foot +of the tree. The starlight gleamed on its white clothing. Silka's +feet stopped mechanically as she saw him; her heart beat so that +she could scarcely breathe; but he had caught sight of her, and +sprang to his feet and came towards her. How wonderful he was with +his fine head set on that long, firm throat, and how sweet the face +when his beautiful mouth broke into smiles as he saw her! + +"Doolga!" he exclaimed, and then paused. She heard the little note +of wonder, of joy, in his voice, as she looked up at him in the +soft starlight, filtered through the palms. She was close to him, +and his voice, his presence was a new wonder to her. + +"You are lovelier to-night than ever before. You have a new beauty, +what is it?" and he stretched out his arms passionately to her and +enfolded her in them close to his breast and kissed her. Then in +one moment did the rose of life, that unfolds slowly for most +mortals petal by petal, bloom suddenly for her whole and complete, +and fill her with its wild fragrance, overwhelming her senses. The +happiness of a hundred lives was compressed into that one perfect +moment when his lips touched hers, and she saw his face hang over +hers in the starlight, blazing with the fires of love. + +"This then is life," she thought, as she put her arms round his +neck. "This is what I am giving to Doolga." + +"Am I really more beautiful to-night than I have been?" she asked +presently, as they sat crouched close side by side at the foot of +the palm, looking towards the silver river. + +"A thousand times!" he answered passionately. "I have never loved +you, never seen you as I do to-night." + +"Then you must always remember me as you see me now. However Doolga +looks to you in the future, always remember this night, and how you +loved her then." + +And he took her more closely into his arms, and pressed kisses on +her eyes, and told her in low murmured words of the tent he was +preparing for her, pitched where the cool breeze from the Nile +would reach them, and of the coming sunsets when she would sit +awaiting his return in the doorway, and of the still radiant hours +of the desert night which would pass over them full of delirious +joys; and the girl listened and lived out her life in those moments +against his heart. And ever as she listened, the thought of the +Sheik and his withered arms rose before her. Still it was Doolga's +future she looked into, the secrets of Doolga's happiness she +learned. As often as he murmured, "Doolga!" and caressed her, a +wave of joy passed through her. + +Three hours before the dawn they parted, and with slow, sad steps +she returned to her father's tent. Her strength was spent. Life +and she had finally separated. Entering the tent with noiseless +feet, no sound disturbed the sleeping chief, and she crept to where +her sister sat up, wild-eyed and sleepless, on the bed. + +"This he gave to Doolga," she said, with her lips pressed to +Doolga's ear, and passed over her head a necklace of faultless +beads of jade. + + * * * * * + +The following day, when the last flare of the sunset lit up the sky +with flame, and the delicate branches of the palms of the oasis +showed before them tipped with gold, the Sheik Ilbrahim bent over +his bride sitting before him on the camel, decked out with gold +ornaments in her hair. He saw her smiling, and a glory that was not +of the sunset on her face. + +"Of what is my beloved one thinking?" he asked her. + +She looked up, but she did not see his face above her. She saw only +the tent where the wind from the Nile could come, and Doolga within +radiant with the joy she had given her. + +"Of what should your slave be thinking, lord," she answered, "but +love and happiness?" + + + + +VI + + +It was evening. A sky of purest emerald, luminous, transparent, and +divinely calm, stretched over the city of Damascus, that lies in +its white glory, wrapped round by its mantle of foliage, in the +heart of the burning desert--unhurt, cool, invulnerable in the jaws +of the all-devouring desert sand. In the East, with the first cool +breath of evening comes a spirit of rejoicing: the heat and burden +of the day are over, and there is one hour of pure delight before +the darkness. This hour had come to Damascus: the roses lifted +their heads in the garden, the birds burst into joyous floods of +song, and the trees waved and spread their branches to the little +breeze that came rippling through the crystal air. + +Almost on the confines of the city, where the belt of protecting +verdure grows thin and the gaunt face of the desert presses against +the city walls, rose the square, white dwelling of Ahmed Ali, and +his garden was the largest and most beautiful of the city. High +white walls enclosed it on every side, and from the broad, +travelled highway that ran beside it the dusty and wearied wayfarer +often lifted his eyes to the profusion of gay roses, the syringa, +and star-eyed jasmine that tumbled jubilantly over the edge, and +hung their scented wreaths far above his head. The tinkling of a +fountain could be heard within, and the mad rapture of song from +the birds in the evening, when the scent of the orange blossom +stole softly out on the radiant golden air. On the other side of +the garden was a grove of orange-trees. The rich, glossy, green +foliage rose in dark masses above the high wall, and some +inquisitive, encroaching boughs stretched over and occasionally +dropped their golden fruit into Ahmed's garden. On the inside of +the old, moss-grown wall were numerous buttresses, and in these +angles and corners, sheltered from any breeze, the roses and the +small fruit-trees fairly rioted together, blending their masses of +pink and white bloom. + +On this evening, when the sky shone like one sheet of purest +mother-of-pearl, green and rose and faint purple, the garden was +very still; the only sound was the murmur of the falling water, the +coo of some white doves in a pear-tree, and a very light step +pacing on the tiny narrow path that wound its way round the whole +garden amongst the rose-bushes and lemon-trees. + +Dilama, the youngest of the ladies of the harem, was walking in the +garden with her white veil thrown back and a smile on her small, +red, curling lips. She stooped here and there to gather a flower +whenever a bud or blossom of particular beauty caught her eye, and +fastened now one against her thick brown hair, and now one or two +upon the rich-embroidered muslin that covered the upper part of her +bosom. She was intensely happy: in the spring at Damascus, at +seventeen and in love, who would not be happy? The fires of youth +and love and joy burned in her flesh and danced in her veins and +shone in her eyes, and she sang and smiled to herself as she +gathered the flowers. She was a Druze woman, and gifted with the +wonderful beauty that Nature has showered on the women of Syria. +Skins that the most perfect Saxon skin of milk and rose can +scarcely rival are wedded to eyes of Eastern midnight and brown +tresses filled with shining lights of red and gold. She had been +born in the fierce, barren mountains lying behind Beirut, and at +eight years old had drifted--part of the spoils of a raid--into the +keeping of Ahmed Ali, the richest landowner and merchant of +Damascus. He was a Turk, of pure Turkish blood, and with the large, +generous heart and the kindly nature of the Turk. All the life that +owed him allegiance, that was supported by his hand, was happy and +well cared for--from the magnificent black horses, ignorant of whip +and spur, that filled his stables, and the dogs that lay peacefully +about in his palace, to the beauties of the harem, who tripped +about gaily singing and laughing in their cool halls and shaded +garden. Where the Turk rules there is usually peace, for his nature +is pacific, and in the palace of Ahmed there was joy and peace and +love and pleasure in abundance. There were seven ladies of the +harem, including Dilama, and six of these were happy wives of +Ahmed. Each had one or more sons, handsome, large-eyed, sedate +little Mohammedans, who were being trained by Turkish mothers in +all sorts of gentle ways and manners--in thought and care for +others, in courtesy and kindness; and who were very different in +their childish work and play from the brawling, selfish, cruel +little monsters that European children of the same age mostly are. +But Dilama was not yet Ahmed's wife; she loved him most truly and +deeply as an affectionate daughter. For who could not love Ahmed? +There was a charm in his stately beauty of face and figure, in the +kind musical voice, in the eyes so large and dark and gentle, that +was irresistible. But to Dilama he was something far above her: her +king, her lord indeed, for whom she would lay down life itself +without question, but not the man to whom her ardent simple nature +had turned for love. Ahmed had not sought her. When first she came +to his palace she had been too young except for him to treat as +a pretty child, and the relationship of father and daughter +then established had never yet been broken in upon. And the +light-hearted, sunny-natured Druze girl had taken life just as she +found it, regarding herself as Ahmed's daughter, and rejoicing in +her home of love and beauty she ceased to remember that one day he +would inevitably claim her as his wife, and that that day must be +the beginning or the end of happiness just as she prepared for it. +But she did not prepare for it, she ignored it: flitting like some +golden butterfly through the pleasant hours, and growing fairer +every day, so that the harem women looked at her with a little +sinking of the heart yet no ill-will, and said amongst themselves, +"Surely Ahmed must choose her soon." But Ahmed loved at that time +with his whole soul a Turkish woman, and she was to give him +shortly a second child, and for fear of disturbing her peace of +mind Ahmed remained in the Selamlik, and would not visit his other +wives, nor send for Dilama, though his eyes, like the others, noted +her growing beauty day by day. + +"I will wait in patience," he thought, looking out one morning at +sunrise, and watching Dilama playing with the white doves on the +basin edge of the fountain. "I will wait till Buldoula is well and +strong again. She would fret now, and think I was forgetting her in +a new love if I call Dilama to me yet. I will wait till her second +son is born, and then in her joy and pride she will not be jealous +of the new wife." + +So he waited, but in the game of love he that waits is ever the +loser. That night, when the moon was rising over the white and deep +green of Damascus, Dilama walked, humming to herself, in the +garden, full of a great leaping desire, born of her youth and fine +health and the breath of the May night, to love and be loved. +Suddenly, when she came to the corner, under the drooping boughs of +the grove without the garden, an orange fell, and, just escaping +her head struck her heavily on her bosom. With a great shock she +stood still, looking up, and there, on the summit of the high wall, +amid the green boughs, was a man sitting, leaning over down towards +her, with fiery eyes looking upon her from under a dark green +turban. + +"It is death to be here," she whispered, her face pallid in the +moonlight, "do not stay;" yet her whole being leapt up with hope +that he would disobey. The man laughed softly. + +"It is life to look on you," he said merely, and to her terrified +joy and horrified delight he slid down between the lemon-trees and +the wall, and stood before her in the angle it made, where two +buttresses jutting forward hid him from all view unless one stood +directly opposite. + +Dilama shook from head to foot; in one fierce, sweeping rush, +love passed over and through her as she stood staring with wild +dilated eyes on the form before her. Tall, tall as Ahmed, with +all the grace and strength of youth, lithe and supple, with a +straight-lined, dark-browed face above a stately throat, and dark +kindling eyes, wells of living fire that called all her soul and +heart and womanhood into life. + +"I have often watched you walking in the garden," he murmured, +gently taking in his, one nerveless hand. "I come from your village +in the hills, where you were taken from long ago. I am a Druze," +and he threw his head higher, as the stag of the forest throws his +at the first note of the challenge. Dilama knew well that he was +of her own people. Infant memories, instinctive, implanted +consciousness told her this without the aid of Druze clothing, or +the short, gay dagger thrust into his waist-sash. + +"I think you are not yet the wife of Ahmed Ali?" he went on, as +she simply trembled in silence, wave after wave of emotion passing +through her, striking her heart and choking her voice. "Tell me?" + +Dilama shook her head, and a triumphant smile curved the handsome +lips before her. + +"I knew it; you are mine," he said, in reply, and, bending over her +as she stood shrinking, on the verge of fainting, between terror +and wonder and joy, he kissed her on the lips, not roughly--even +gently--but with such a fire of life on his that it seemed to the +girl, in the destruction of all her usual feelings, in the havoc of +the new ones called in their place, that the actual moment of +dissolution had come. + +That had been some three weeks ago, and now, on this soft, pearly +evening, she was waiting eagerly for the sky to deepen, and the +light of the stars to sharpen, and the orange to fall over the +wall. For the Druze had come many times, and no one had discovered +the lovers, screened by masses of roses in the buttress-sheltered +corner of the wall. In fact, for the last weeks no one had had time +or thought for anything but Buldoula, who lay sick within the +palace walls, and attendants waited anxiously or ran hither and +thither on various errands, and Ahmed was in the depths of anxiety; +and no one thought about Dilama or paid any attention to her, and +she was radiantly happy and self-engrossed, and came and went +between the garden and her own little chamber as she listed, +undisturbed. And this evening, as usual, she slipped unobserved +amongst the roses into the corner of the buttressed wall. A moment +after the boughs overhead parted, and the lithe Druze dropped down +noiselessly beside her. She put her gold braceleted arms round his +strong brown neck, and pressed her silken-covered bosom hard +against his rough cotton tunic. A great rush of rosy light flooded +all the sky for some minutes, then began to pale softly before the +approach of the lustrous purple dark. + +In the palace a light behind one of the mushrabeared windows was +extinguished; there was the sound of the scurry of feet, and then a +long wail came out from the building, rending the pink-hued +twilight. + +"Buldoula is dead!" remarked Dilama simply, as the lovers crouched +together between the wall and the roses. It meant nothing to her, +enclosed in the happy warmth of her lover's arms; death had no +meaning for her yet, hardly seventeen years' journey distant from +birth, and full of all the sap and great leaping fires of life. +Death was something so far away, so impossible to realise. It was +but a word to her--a casket enclosing nothing. Yet the death of +Buldoula was the embryo event in the womb of time from which was to +develop the whole tragedy of her own life. + +"Buldoula is dead," she said again, carelessly, her rose-tipped +fingers smoothing the black sweeping arch of the man's brows. +"Perhaps her son is dead also. Ahmed will be very grieved--she was +going to bear her second son." + +"Little dove! I must take you away to the mountains soon," said the +Druze, clasping her tighter to him. "Soon," he muttered again, +stooping down to look under the rose-boughs to the white-faced +house, now, with all its screened windows, dark. His words seemed +irrelevant, yet they were not. He had a keen prescience that the +death of the favourite of the harem might influence very quickly +Dilama's fate. + +"Why not take me now, Murad? I want to see the mountains," and she +laid her little head, crowned by its masses of brown-gold hair, on +his warm breast. + +"The caravan does not start for two weeks more," he answered +thoughtfully. "We must wait for it. It would be madness to try to +escape alone. We should be seen, noted, and tracked down. Think how +Ahmed will look for his treasure when he finds it stolen! But if +you are hidden in a bale of goods on a camel in the caravan, who +will suspect, who will know that the Druze has taken you? The whole +caravan of Druzes cannot be stopped because Ahmed has lost a wife! +No, in the caravan, with all the rest, we are safe. There is no +other way." + +There was silence while the twilight deepened in the garden, and +the stars began to show above like flashing swords in the sky. In +the languor of love that knows no fear and has no cares, that +opiate of the soul, Dilama lay in his arms and sought his lips and +eyes, and asked no more about caravans and journeys and mountains, +drugged and heavy with love. In an hour when all was velvet +blackness beneath the wall, they kissed farewell. He scaled the +crumbling bricks, and regained the sheltering orange grove, and she +walked slowly back, drawing smooth her filmy veil, towards the +darkened palace. + +Five days later at noontime, as Dilama was sitting in the garden +playing with the tame white doves by the fountain, one of the black +female slaves approached her. Dilama looked up questioningly, +holding a dove to her bosom. + +"The lord is sorrowing within for his dead wife and dead son. He +has sent for you; go in, and lead him away from grief," and the +woman smiled and prostrated herself before Dilama, who shrank +instinctively away like a frightened child. But there is only one +law and one will in the harem, and she rose obediently, letting the +dove go, and stood ready to follow the slave. That meaning smile on +the woman's face filled her with an intuitive, instinctive, +undefined fear, and at the same instant there rushed over her the +realisation of the great happiness that same smile would have +brought her had there been no Murad, had she fled from that +rose-filled corner on that first evening--had she, in a word, +_waited_! This summons to the presence of their lord is what so +many of the harem slaves pine and long for through weary months, +and sometimes years. It came now to her, and it meant nothing but +vague fear and dread. She followed the slave with unelastic steps, +and her brain full of heavy thoughts; they passed the women's +apartments and went on to the Selamlik and to the room of Ahmed, +that looked out with unscreened windows into the cool, deep green +of the garden. The slave drew back at the door, holding a curtain +aside for the girl to enter. She went forward, the curtain fell +behind her, and she was alone with Ahmed. + +He was sitting opposite on a low divan or couch, clothed from head +to foot in a deep blue robe, and with a turban of the same colour +twisted above his level brows--a kingly, majestic figure, and the +girl's heart beat and her eyelids fell as she crept slowly over the +floor towards him. At his feet she sank to her knees, and would +have put her forehead to the ground, but Ahmed bent forward, and +clasping both her arms lifted her on to the couch beside him. + +"And you are the Druze child, Dilama?" he said gently, and leaning +a little back from her, surveyed her intently with dark lustrous +eyes. The girl felt swooning with terror; before his gaze her very +flesh seemed dissolving. It seemed as if her heart, her brain, with +the image of Murad stamped on them, would be laid bare to those +brilliant, searching eyes. What would he not know, suspect, find +out? What would he ask? demand of her? She could not ask herself. +Was this to be the end of his paternal relationship to her? the +beginning of a new one? She dared not lift her eyes lest he should +see their terror; the blood burnt in the surface of all her fair +skin, as if red-hot irons were pressed to it. And Ahmed, gazing +upon her with the pure noonday light, softened by the leafy screen +without pouring over her, drank in her fair Syrian beauty with +delight. The pale, rose-hued silken clothing she wore harmonised +with the ivory and rose of her round arms and throat and cheeks, +and threw up the masses of dark hair that fell beneath her veil to +her slender waist. Ahmed very gently unbound the snowy garment from +her head and stroked her hair lightly, watching the gold gleams in +its ripples as his hand passed over them. He saw her dismay, +confusion, even her terror, and noticed the quiver of her hands and +the irregular leap of her bosom, but these did not dismay him. He +was accustomed to be beloved even as he loved, and the women of the +harem who came to him in fear left him with happy confidence. He +affected now not to see her embarrassment, thinking it to be only +that, and said quietly, "And you have been happy, Dilama, in my +house?" The girl felt she must speak, though her throat seemed +closed and her tongue nerveless. + +"Very happy," she faltered at last in a whisper. + +"But you have been lonely, perhaps?" he asked. "Have the roses and +doves in the garden been companions enough for you? Have you not +been too much alone?" + +In the heavy load of apprehension of intangible fear and horror +that seemed stifling her, a madness of longing came over the girl +to be free from her guilty secret, to have never known Murad. Now +she could have looked up fearless, full of expectant joy! She could +have loved this man; she knew it, now that she felt his love +approaching her: hope was dying within her that ever again would he +regard her simply as his daughter. She knew those tones of the +voice, she had heard them from Murad in the garden, but here the +voice was infinitely more refined, the sound of it exquisitely +musical; and now, that love for her was in it, it told her a new +secret, that she could have given love for love. She knew, though +her eyelids were down, how beautiful the face was that bent over +her: the straight, severe lines of it, the magnificent eyes and +brows burnt through her lids. Ah, why had he waited so long, or she +not waited longer? + +Full of intolerable, irrepressible pain, she looked up at last +suddenly. + +"Why did not my lord come into the garden, to the roses and doves +and--me?" she asked falteringly, her gaze held now irresistibly by +the dark orbs above her. Then, afraid of her own temerity, she +became white as death under his gaze. + +But Ahmed was rather pleased by this first connected speech she +had made in the interview. It sounded to him like the tender +reproach of an amorous, expectant maiden, waiting eagerly for her +love, too long delayed. The under-meaning, the terrible regret for +irrevocable ill, naturally escaped him. He smiled, and put his arm +round her shoulders. "Well, it is not too late," he said, bending +over her. But the girl shrank from his arm, and he realised it +instantly. He was aware directly that there was some feeling in her +not quite fathomed nor understood. It puzzled him. He was far too +deep a thinker, far too refined a nature to treat his women as +inanimate toys to be used for his amusement, either with or without +their consent, as the chance might be. He knew them to be, and +treated them as, individual souls, with right of will and desire +equal to his own, and was too proud to accept the gift of the body +unless he had first conquered the will. But usually there was no +difficulty. Nature had gifted Ahmed with all the best treasures in +her jewel-box; beauty of face and form, strength and grace, charm +of voice and presence--everything needed to ensnare and delight +the senses, and he was accustomed to be loved, passionately adored, +and worshipped. He was naturally a connoisseur in such matters, and +knew well and easily the truth or dissembling in them. But here +there was neither: the girl shrank from him instinctively, and +seemed possessed by nothing but dumb, helpless fear that was +distressing to him. Yet not all distressing, for even in the best +of male natures there always remains some of the instinctive desire +of conquest, the delight in opposition, if not too prolonged, the +love of battle, the hope of victory; and to Ahmed, the invariably +successful lover, the resistance of this slight, rose-leaf creature +he could crush with one blow of his hand roused suddenly all the +primitive joy of the chase, the excitement of pursuit. Only, where +with some natures it would have been brutal and rapid, the end and +triumph assured, the prize the body; here it would be gentle and +dexterous, the end dependent on another, the prize the soul--the +soul, the will, the most difficult quarry to capture, as Ahmed +knew. + +He let his arm slip from her shoulders, and rose and walked over +to the window, looking out for a moment into the delicious green +beyond. Dilama half-sat, half-crouched upon the divan, not daring +to stir, and watched him furtively. + +Ahmed stood for a moment, and there was dead silence in the room. +Then he returned and came towards the couch, standing opposite it, +and looking down at her. + +"Dilama, you seem very much afraid of me, and why is it? Look up +and speak to me. There is no need for fear. Do you think I have +called you here to force you to love me? There is no way of forcing +love. You are free to come and go to and from this room as you +will, but I am lonely and grieved, now Buldoula has been taken away +from me. I would like you to come here and play and sing to me, and +console me; will you?" + +Dilama ventured to lift her eyes to the kingly figure before her, +and meeting the pained, dark eyes bent on her, and realising that +there was nothing, indeed, to make her fear but her own guilty +conscience, she burst suddenly into an uncontrollable passion of +weeping, and slipping from the couch fell sobbing at his feet. + +Ahmed stooped and gathered her up in his arms, holding her to his +breast, and this time she did not shrink from him, but lay there +unresisting, crying violently. For a moment the clasp of his arm, +the touch of gentle sympathy, soothed and comforted her. For one +wild moment she longed to confide in him, to tell him the reality. +What would happen? Was it possible that Ahmed would pardon her, and +let her go to her own life, her own love and lover! No, it was not +possible--any other offence but this; theft or murder he could have +forgiven and sheltered, but this, no! Instinctively she knew and +felt it would not be possible to him--a Turk, free from prejudice +and superstition, liberal as he was--to forgive her crime. Death +for herself and Murad was the best she could expect. Ahmed's own +honour, the traditions of all his house, his great position would +make it impossible for him to let her pass from his, a Turk's harem +to a Druze lover. The thought whirled from her sick brain, leaving +all confused and hopeless as before, and her tears rained fast. +Ahmed smoothed her soft hair and kissed her forehead gently, as it +lay against his breast. + +"Go and fetch your music, and sing to me," he whispered, as her +sobs ceased. "See how lovely the spring time is; it is no time for +tears, but for songs and--love." He murmured the last word very +softly and set her free. Without looking at him she slipped away to +the door in obedience to his command, and in a wild confusion of +feeling in which pleasure struggled with fear. + +When she came back with her instrument, a small pear shaped guitar +in appearance, she was more composed. Her eyes were still red and +swollen, but the soft, elastic skin had already regained its +colouring. As she entered, soft bars of sunlight were falling +through the room, the window had been opened, and the song of the +birds came gaily through it. Ahmed had ordered coffee and +sweetmeats to be brought, and these now stood on a small inlaid +table before her, on whose glistening arabesques of mother of pearl +the sunbeams twinkled merrily. Ahmed's eyes lighted up with tender +pleasure as he saw her enter, and she noted it. He was still +sitting on the couch, and held in his hand a small green leather +case--the counterpart of hundreds to be seen in the jewellers' +windows in Paris. Dilama guessed at once it was some present for +her. Unconsciously the light, gay, butterfly nature of the girl +began to reassert itself in the knowledge that the final issue had +not to be met then; that there was respite for her, delay; and a +natural joy stirred in her looking across at Ahmed. It was +something, after all, to be queen of the harem, to be wooed in +gifts and smiles by its lord. + +"Come here!" he said to her, and as she approached he opened the +case and took from it a bracelet, a limp band of gold with a clasp +of rubies and diamonds that flashed a thousand sparkling rays into +the astonished eyes of the girl, accustomed only to the dull, uncut +or poorly-cut gems of the East. + +"How wonderful! Is it for me, really?" she exclaimed, as Ahmed took +her unresisting arm and clasped the bracelet round it above the +elbow, where it lent a new beauty to the flesh. + +"Now, take some coffee, and then you shall play to me while I rest +and smoke," continued Ahmed, kissing her tenderly between the eyes, +as she gazed up gratefully to him, and though she flushed and +trembled, this time she did not shrink from him. + +The coffee seemed more delicious than any that was served in the +haremlik, and the gold-tipped cigarettes and the jam, made out of +rose leaves, that Ahmed pressed upon her, delighted her senses and +helped to make her think less of the passing hour and Murad, who +would be waiting in stormy passion for her, in the angle of the +wall. "I can't help it; I can't help it!" she thought to herself as +she took up her instrument and bent over the strings to tune them, +while Ahmed stretched himself at full length on the divan to +listen, with a scarlet cushion supporting his regal head. She could +both sing and play well, for Ahmed loved music, and wisely +considered it a safe amusement--an outlet for superfluous passions +and unexpressed feelings--for the women of the harem. Instruments +were provided in plenty, and instruction and all encouragement +given to them to learn, and from her first day in the harem +Dilama's natural voice and talents had been noted and fostered. +This afternoon, at first she was timid, and sang and played +stiffly, carefully, with a great attention to notes and strings; +but slowly the calm and stillness of the beautiful sun-filled room, +the scented air floating in from the garden, the tense atmosphere +of passion about her, and the magic beauty of the face and form +opposite influenced her, grew upon her, wrapped her round, and she +began to sing passionately, ardently, with that abandonment, +without which all music is a hollow sound. Her glorious voice, +fresh, youthful, clear, and pure came rushing joyously over her +lips and filled the room. Her spirits rose as she realised the +power she was exerting. She felt a little impatient at the thought +of Murad. After all, she was a great lady, a lady of the harem of +Ahmed Ali, the richest Turk in Damascus. She was dressed in +delicate silks, and the jewels blazed on her arm. She was queen of +the harem, and the beloved of its lord. He was most desirable to +her and to all women, and, but for Murad, who seemed to stand like +a black shadow between, she would have lain upon his breast with +pure delight. She leant forward now, singing rapturously over the +instrument pressed close to her soft breast, while her rose-hued +fingers leapt among its strings; a transparent flush, delicate as +the tint of a shell, glowed in her cheeks; her large, dark eyes +looked straight at Ahmed, drawing in all the proud beauty of his +face; her hair lay soft and thick without its veil above her brows, +and one heavy tress fell forward over her shoulder to her knee. +Ahmed lay watching her, his eyes filled with sombre fires, his +whole soul listening to the song; and one other lay listening also, +and this was Murad, crouching in the shade of the orange-tree +plantation, catching with distended ears that flood of passionate +melody wafted to him over the still garden, from the window of +Ahmed's apartment, from the Selamlik. + +When the song was finished, and the last notes had faltered softly +into silence, Ahmed rose from his divan and crossed to where she +sat. The room was full now of hot rosy light; the scent of the +orange flowers poured in through the windows; the girl's senses +grew confused and dizzy. Her cheeks were flaming with the +excitement and joy and effort and passion of her singing; her +eyelids were cast down, and beneath them her eyes watched, half in +terror, half in a strained delight, the blue Persian slippers +advancing silently over the matting on the floor towards her. + +"Will Dilama stay with me to-night?" + +The girl looked up, whitening to the lips, and slid to a kneeling +position. Terror at the thought of infidelity to Murad filled her; +he would infallibly find it out and avenge himself. Her face worked +convulsively; she stretched out her hands with a gesture of +despair. + +"What my lord wills: I am the slave of his wishes." + +Ahmed drew his level brows together, and for a moment lined the +serene beauty of his forehead. He gazed at her with a steady, +puzzled look, and at last a faint, half-quizzical smile relaxed his +lips. What could this strange idea, this whim be, so unlike all +Eastern maiden's usual fancies? He had not yet solved the riddle, +nor found the clue! he would do so, but in the meantime she must be +left her freedom. In all noble natures power brings with it a +terrible responsibility, and the habit of stern self-control and +long forbearance. Ahmed's complete power over the frightened piece +of humanity before him brought upon him the necessity practically +of surrender; for the Turk possesses one of the noblest and gentle +natures the human race can boast of. Ahmed remained silent for a +few seconds, and the girl gazed upon him with dilated, fascinated +eyes. She noted in a dazed way how the dark blue robe parted on his +breast and showed beneath a vest of gold silk, fastened a little to +the side by a single emerald; how the column of throat towered +above these, supporting the oval face and beautifully-modelled +chin, and above these again, and the commanding brows, shone +another solitary emerald between the folds of his turban on his +forehead. + +Murad began to seem like a robber depriving her of all these +things. There is no fidelity in the body. Fidelity is a thing of +the mind, always at war with and striving to coerce those instincts +of the senses that are ever clamouring after the new and the +unknown. Nature is ever driving us on to seek new mates. The mind +with its trammels of affection, gratitude, pity, consideration, is +ever dragging us back and seeking to tie us to the old. Nature's +rule is fresh seasons, fresh mates, new hours, new loves. And he +who seeks fidelity must woo the mind, for the body cannot give it, +and knows not its laws. + +After a minute's silence Ahmed stretched out his hand to her and +raised her to her feet. His face had lost its smiles and fire; it +was grave and sombre-looking now, but his voice was gentle as he +answered her: + +"You are free to return to the haremlik," he said; "no one has any +power to coerce you. I wish you to come and go as you will." He +waved his hand towards the curtain with a gesture of dismissal, and +then turned away and rang a little silver bell on a table. The +black slave appeared--it seemed almost instantly--before the +curtain; while Dilama still stood, motionless, irresolute, with a +curious sense of disappointment, mingling with relief, stealing +over her. Ahmed beckoned the slave to him, and said something +in a low voice Dilama did not catch, but the last sentence she +overheard. "Send Soutouma to me," and without taking any further +notice of Dilama, Ahmed turned back towards the divan, threw +himself upon it, and drew the pipe-stand towards him. + +The black slave, with a smile on her curving lips, motioned to +Dilama to precede her, and Dilama, with one look flung backward to +Ahmed's couch in the full sunlight of the window, passed under the +heavy blue curtain out into the passage. "Send Soutouma to me!" the +words went through her with a cutting feeling, as a knife dividing +her flesh. + +Soutouma was next to Buldoula in age and rank--a fair beauty of the +harem, with soft, long, sunlit tresses, and a skin of snow. + +"Yes, why not? why not?" asked Dilama wildly to herself as her feet +dragged along down the passage side by side with the grinning +black's. "I am a Druze girl: I belong to Murad and to the +mountains." But the insidious charm of Ahmed's personality worked +on all the pulses of her body; pulses that know not fidelity, +though her brain kept telling her that Murad would be waiting for +her in the garden. But that night Murad did not come. The garden +stood cool and fragrant, full of perfume and rosy light, full of +the music of birds and the tints of a thousand flowers--all the +invitations to love, but love itself was absent. Dilama searched +the garden from end to end, and walked in and out among the roses +by the buttressed wall, but the garden was empty and silent. She +was alone. Tired at last, and ready to cry with fatigue and +disappointment, she sat down by the red brick wall, leaning her +chin on her hand and gazing up towards the windows of the Selamlik, +which could only be seen in portions here and there through a leafy +screen of plane-tree branches. How still it was in the garden, and +how the scent of the orange flower weighed on the senses! How clear +the pink, transparent air! + +Through that same lucid air, under the spreading plane-trees, and +through the great dim bazaars of the city, walked Murad that +evening with quick, hot feet, and the liquid coursing in his veins +seemed fire instead of blood. He went from Druze to Druze, wherever +he could find them, in their own homes, or sitting at a shady +corner of a street, where the tiny rush-bottomed stools are +gathered round the tea-stalls with their hissing brazen urns and +porcelain cups, or lounging in the bazaars, or at the marble +drinking-fountains. Wherever they were he found them, and spoke a +few hot, eager words to them, urging them to hurry forward their +preparations, and be ready to start with the caravan at the rising +of the full moon. Then, as the rosy light changed into violet dusk, +he went home to his low, yellow, square-roofed dwelling on the edge +of the desert, and sat there in his one unlighted room--sat there +gazing out with unseeing eyes into the lustrous Damascus night +beyond the open door, and with the fingers of his right hand +playing absently with the handle of his knife. + +A week had passed over and Ahmed had not sent again for Dilama, nor +had Murad visited the garden, and to the Eastern girl it seemed as +if the world had stopped still. The hot, languid days, the gorgeous +nights with the blaze of the stars and the rapture of the +nightingales, filled her with madness that seemed insupportable. +She knew of no reason for Murad's desertion. She could find out +nothing. She did not dare to breathe a word to any one of the +anxiety, the wonder, the desperation that seemed choking her. What +had become of him? What had happened? Would he ever come again? And +as he appealed only to her senses, and he was not there, she ceased +to wish for him very much, but thought more of Ahmed and the +Selamlik that were close to her. For the mind and the imagination +love in absence and long after the absent one, but the senses are +stirred by proximity, and turn to the one who is nearest. + +One evening, when the soft sky was a clear crimson and the full +moon rose a perfect disk of transparent silver, faint as yet in the +blood-red glow, Dilama felt as if she could exist no longer in the +still, even, unchanging peace of the women's apartments. The song +of the water without, the coo of the doves, the incessantly +repeated love-note of the mating sparrows, seemed to madden her +beyond endurance. + +She lay face downwards on the soft carpet of her little +sleeping-chamber, and moaned unconsciously aloud, "Let me die! let +me die! I have lost favour with all men." + +The black slave was sitting cross-legged just outside the curtain, +and when these slow, long drawn-out words came from the other side +a light gleamed in her shrewd, beady-black eyes. With one claw-like +hand she cautiously drew back a fold of the curtain, and peering in +saw the foremost lady of the harem lying prostrate, her face +pressed to the floor. She made no sound, but dropping the curtain +noiselessly, sidled slowly off down the dark passage leading to the +Selamlik. Ahmed was alone in his apartment when the slave appeared, +sitting on the broad window ledge gazing out from the window which +overlooked his grounds, and beyond them the white minarets and +shining cupolas of the city. He turned at the interruption, but his +face lighted up with pleasure as he recognised the women's +attendant, and he signed to her to approach. + +"The Lady Dilama is weeping in her chamber, desiring my lord," +announced the slave, with much bowing and prostration, but still +with that confidence which showed she knew how welcome the news +would be to her august listener. Ahmed rose, a fire of joy leaping +up suddenly within him. + +"It is well," he said, in an even tone. "Let the Lady Dilama come +to me, and for yourself take this," and he dropped beside the +crouching heap of black back and shoulder a small velvet bag. The +slave grabbed it and put it in her breast, muttering a thousand +thanks and blessings, and withdrew. + +Once outside, her lean black legs carried her swiftly back to +Dilama's room, where she pushed aside the curtain without ceremony. + +"Come!" she said imperiously, "you are Ahmed Ali's chosen one; he +has sent for you. Put off that torn veil, and all that weeping. I +have new robes here for you." + +Dilama, who had hurriedly gathered herself up at the slave's entry, +shrank away now into a corner of the room, white as death. + +"Has he sent for me?" she asked breathlessly. "Commanded me? Oh, +must I go?" + +The slave looked at her strangely. She had no suspicion of Dilama's +secret, and had no idea that her own misrepresentations were as +gross as they were. But she had no wish to be harsh or unkind to +this girl, who would be in a few hours queen of the harem. She was +puzzled. She drew near to Dilama's shrinking form, and peered into +her face. + +"Yes, he _commands_," she said; "but is it possible you do not +wish to go to Ahmed? He is a king amongst men, and he loves you. +What better fate could there be than to lie on his breast, in his +arms? Is it not better than the ground to which you were crying +just now? Surely you will reward me well to-morrow?" + +Dilama answered nothing. Long shivers were passing through her. It +was decided, then; she could no longer avoid her fate, and already +with that thought the Oriental calm of acceptance came to her. +Besides, where was Murad? She could not tell. Fate had taken him +from her, perhaps--the same Fate that gave her to Ahmed. She was +helpless. She had no choice but to obey. And the words of the +slave, accompanied by those piercing, meaning looks, inflamed her +senses. After that unbearable week of solitude the summons came to +her not all unwelcome, and the supreme thought of Ahmed himself +loomed up suddenly, bringing irresistible joy with it. A flame +passed over her cheeks; she caught the slave's skinny black hand +between her own rose-leaf palms. + +"Yes, I will reward you," she murmured. "Dress me beautifully, +decorate me that I may find favour with Ahmed." + +The slave laughed meaningly. + +"Does the desert traveller burn and sigh after water, and then do +the springs of Damascus not find favour in his eyes?" she asked, +and laughed again as she approached Dilama, and began to undress +her. In a few minutes the whole of the haremlik was in a state of +pleasant excitement. The news of the dressing of the bride spread +into its furthest corners, and the women came to talk and jest, and +the servants fled hither and thither upon errands. Dilama was led +into the large general room, and there bathed from head to foot +with warm rose-water; while the others sat round and chatted +together, and admired her ivory skin, with the wild rose Syrian +bloom upon it, and her masses of gold-tinted chestnut hair. And the +black slave bathed and anointed and dressed her with the utmost +care and great self-importance, and sent the underslaves flying in +all directions, one to gather syringa, and other heavy-scented +blossoms from the garden, and another to fetch the jewels for her +neck; and as the attar of rose bottle was found to be empty, a +slave was sent with flying feet to the bazaar to purchase more; and +Dilama, excited and elated, surrounded by jest and laughter and +smiling faces, felt her youth leap up within her, and rejoice at +coming into its kingdom--love. + +In the bazaar the slave sped to the perfume-seller, and, swelling +with the importance of his mission, stayed a moment to chatter with +the dealer. + +"They are dressing a new bride for my master, and I must hasten +back," he gossiped, lounging on the merchant's little stall. "Ahmed +Ali awaits her in the Selamlik; I must be going. They say her +beauty is wonderful; she is not a Turk, but a Syrian from the +mountains by Beirut. I must hasten: they will be waiting." + +"Yes, hasten on your way," returned the perfume-seller. He was a +Turk, dignified and gracious, and of no mind to listen to gossip +from the harem, of which it was little short of scandalous to speak +so publicly. He had other customers in his shop who could hear, +amongst them a black-browed Druze in a green turban, who was +waiting patiently his turn, and who seemed to listen intently to +this most improper gossip. The slave disappeared with flying feet +to catch up his wasted moments, but when the Turk turned to serve +the silent Druze, he, too, had vanished, and some white-turbaned +Arabs pressed forward in his place. + + * * * * * + +Dilama in her lighted chamber, with her fresh young eyes a little +painted beneath their lids, and heavy gold chains about her soft +young throat, sat looking into the little French mirror of cheap +glass and gilt, and waiting for the attar of rose to be poured on +her shining hair. + +At last the boy returned breathless, and the precious stuff was +poured on her hair and hands. Then she stood up radiant and the +women sighed and smiled by turns as she went out, preceded by the +old slave. A long narrow passage, lighted overhead by swinging +coloured lamps, divided the women's from the men's apartments, and +through this they passed noiselessly over the matting-covered +floor. At the end fell heavy curtains, concealing the door and some +steps. Here the slave left the girl, and Dilama went through the +curtains alone. She mounted the steps and passed through the door. +All was quite silent here, and the passage unlighted, except that +through a tiny window high up above her head a streak of moonlight +fell across her way. Dilama paused oppressed, she knew not by what +feeling. Only a short passage and another curtained door divided +her now from Ahmed's presence. Her breath came fast, her pulses +beat nervously, and her feet dragged; slowly and unwillingly she +crept onward, harassed by cold, vague fears. Before the door itself +she trembled, and her soft hands and wrists hardly availed to push +it open. It yielded slowly, and fell to behind her in silence. + +The room was full of light; a silver blaze of moonlight illumined +it from end to end. The great windows, over which usually the +curtains were drawn, stood uncovered and wide open to the soft +Damascus air. The scent of roses and jessamine from the great man's +garden stole in with the silver light. The girl paused when just +over the threshold: she was cold and frightened, and her body +shook. Ahmed did not move or speak. He was sitting sideways to one +great window, with his head resting against the high back of the +one European chair that the room possessed. The light was so strong +that the rich, deep blue of the turban was distinctly visible in +it, but his face was in shadow. She could see, however, the noble +throat and pose of the shoulders as he sat waiting. The girl's +heart beat with a little sense of pleasure as she looked. Her feet +crept slowly a little farther into the room. A great tide of +pleasure was really just outside her heart, and would have rushed +in and overwhelmed it in waves of joy had she but opened her +heart's doors to it; but the shadow of Murad was on the bolts and +locks, and she felt afraid. The silence and great silver light in +the room oppressed her. Ahmed had not heard her enter, and had not +stirred nor looked at her. She crept a little closer. The beauty of +the majestic figure called her irresistibly. She drew closer. She +had passed one window now, and was near enough to see the jewels +flash on the slender hand that hung over the chair-arm, and the +glistening light on the embroidered Turkish slippers on his feet. +Shading her brow with one hand, Dilama came forward, fell at those +feet and kissed them. Still there was no movement, no sound. This +was so unlike Ahmed's way of treating his slaves, that the girl, +forgetting her fears, looked up in sheer surprise. Then her heart +seemed to stop suddenly, and then leap with excessive thuds of +horror against her breast. The face above her seemed carved in +stone, pale, bloodless, calm; it was set, as the girl realised in a +moment of terror and agony, in a repose that would never be broken. +The large, dark eyes, still open, gazed past her, sightless, +changeless. Fear, her fear of him, her awe, her oppressed terror +fell from her, giving way to an infinite regret, a sorrow, a sense +of loss that rushed over her, filling every cell, every atom of her +being. She, the unwilling, the reluctant, the slow-coming, the +grudging bride, now stood free. The bridegroom asked of her +nothing, demanded nothing, needed nothing, desired nothing. + +The slave-girl neither shrieked nor fainted. A great, convulsive +sob tore itself from her trembling body as she rose from her knees +and bent over the sitting figure. Wildly she passed her soft, +shaking fingers across his brow, still warm, and round his throat, +seeking mechanically the wound; then her eyes fell on the gold silk +of his tunic, and just over the left breast she saw a little brown +patch, and on the left side of the chair the silver light gleamed +on a small, dark-red pool. He had been stabbed as he sat there, +waiting for her--stabbed from the back, and the dagger thrust +through to the little brown spot in the front of the tunic. And +through that tiny door his life had gone. + +Lying at his feet, Dilama sobbed uncontrollably, rolling her head, +with its wonderful crown of flower-decked hair, and her pink-silk +clad body amongst the rugs on the floor. What was the worth or use +of anything now, silk or bridal attire, or beauty, or flower-decked +hair? Never would any of them now be mirrored in his eyes again. +Never could anything change that awful serenity, that implacable +silence, out of which she felt her own love, her own desire rush +upon her and devour her. Ahmed had been hers and she had shrunk +from him, and now all the blood in her body she would have given +willingly to replace that little scarlet stream that had borne away +his life. + +As she lay there, weeping in an agony of despair, a dark shadow +suddenly grew in the window, and fell a black patch in the panel of +white light upon the floor. A lithe figure balanced a moment on the +ledge of the open window, then leapt with the silent elastic bound +of a cat into the room. Dilama sprang from the floor to her knees +with a smothered cry of terror. + +"Murad! why have you come here?" + +The Druze leant over her and caught her arm fiercely. + +"To claim my own. It is not the first visit I have made to-night, +as you see," and as he dragged her up from her knees he indicated +the motionless figure beside them. + +"You killed him!" she whispered, gazing up with dilated, terrified +eyes. + +"Who should, if not I? Had he not taken my wife? Come, we must be +going." + +With the nail-like grip on her arm, and the low, savage tones in +her ears, and the blazing eyes like a tiger's, inflamed with the +lust of murder above her, the girl felt sick and half-fainting with +fear and misery. + +"He did not take me. I was always faithful, Murad. I love you. +I--" she stammered. + +"It is well," returned Murad with a grim smile, "and these tears I +suppose are because I was too long absent? It is true I have been +some time: I had much to do, and then I knew I was quite safe, now +I had settled all accounts with him. Come! the caravan is ready; +the camels wait for you." + +He dragged her towards the open square, the great square of the +window. Without, the night-flies and the moths danced in the silver +beams, the trees rose motionless and stately in the sultry air, the +gracious hours moved on with all the tranquil splendour of the +Oriental night. The girl threw her eyes over the sitting figure, +unmoved by all the strenuous passions fighting round it. Wildly, in +despairing agony, she stretched out her arms towards it in a vain, +unconscious passionate appeal. + +The Druze struck them downwards, and gripping her unresisting body +more tightly, he leapt from the window to the slight wooden +staircase without, and, like a tiger with his prey, crept away +stealthily through the silver silence of the rose garden towards +the desert. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Six Women, by Victoria Cross + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SIX WOMEN *** + +***** This file should be named 13238-8.txt or 13238-8.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/2/3/13238/ + +Produced by Janet Kegg and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed +Proofreading Team + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Six Women + +Author: Victoria Cross + +Release Date: August 21, 2004 [EBook #13238] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1 + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SIX WOMEN *** + + + + +Produced by Janet Kegg and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed +Proofreading Team + + + + + + +</pre> + + +<div style="height: 8em;"><br><br><br><br><br><br><br><br></div> +<hr> +<br> +<h1> + Six Women +</h1> +<br> +<h4> + <i>By</i> +</h4> +<h3> + VICTORIA CROSS +</h3> +<br> +<h5> + NEW YORK<br> + MITCHELL KENNERLEY +</h5> +<hr> +<br> +<p class="note2"> + <i>BY VICTORIA CROSS</i><br><br> + + LIFE'S SHOP WINDOW<br> + ANNA LOMBARD<br> + SIX WOMEN<br> + SIX CHAPTERS OF A MAN'S LIFE<br> + THE WOMAN WHO DIDN'T<br> + TO-MORROW? <br> + PAULA<br> + A GIRL OF THE KLONDIKE<br> + THE RELIGION OF EVELYN HASTINGS<br> + LIFE OF MY HEART +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<br> +<p class="note"> + DEDICATED TO<br> + H. M. G. AND E. F. C. <br> + AND OUR MEMORIES OF THE EAST. +</p> + +<hr class="short"> + + +<p class="toc"><big><i>Contents</i></big></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0001"> + I</a>: <small>CHAPTERS + <a href="#2HCH0001">I</a>, + <a href="#2HCH0002">II</a>, + <a href="#2HCH0003">III</a>, + <a href="#2HCH0004">IV</a></small></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0006"> + II</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0007"> +III</a>: <small>CHAPTERS + <a href="#2HCH0005">I</a>, + <a href="#2HCH0006"> + II</a></small></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0010"> +IV</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0011"> +V</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#2H_4_0012"> +VI</a></p> +<br> +<hr class="short"> + +<a name="2H_4_0001"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 3em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h1> + SIX WOMEN +</h1> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + I +</h2> +<a name="2HCH0001"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<br> +<h3> + CHAPTER I +</h3> +<p> + Listless and despondent, feeling that he hated everything in life, + Hamilton walked slowly down the street. The air was heavy, and the + sun beat down furiously on the yellow cotton awnings stretched over + his head. Clouds of dust rose in the roadway as the white bullocks + shuffled along, drawing their creaking wooden carts, and swarms of + flies buzzed noisily in the yellow, dusty sunshine. Hamilton went + on aimlessly; he was hot, he was tired, his eyes and head ached, he + was thirsty; but all these disagreeable sensations were nothing + beside the intense mental nausea that filled him, a nausea of life. + It rose up in and pervaded him, uncontrollable as a physical + malady. In vain he called upon his philosophy; he had practised it + so long that it was worn out. Like an old mantle from the + shoulders, it fell from him in rags, and he was glad. He felt he + hated his philosophy only less than he hated life—hated, yet + desired as the man hates a mistress he covets, and has never yet + possessed. "Never had anything, never done anything, never felt + anything decent yet," he mused. +</p> +<p> + He was an exceptionally handsome and attractive individual, and + though in reality forty years of age, he had the figure, the look, + and air of twenty-eight. Masses of black hair, without a white + thread, waved above a beautifully-cut and modelled face, of which + the clear bronze skin, with its warm colour in the cheeks, was not + the least striking feature. He was about six feet or a little over + in height, and had a wonderfully lithe, well-knit figure, and a + carriage full of grace and dignity. A bright, charming smile that + came easily to his face, and an air of absolute unconsciousness of + his own good looks, completed the armoury of weapons Venus had + endowed him with for breaking hearts. But Hamilton neglected his + vocation: he broke none. He got up early, and slaved away at his + duties for the Indian Civil Government in his office all day, and + went to bed dead tired at night, with nothing but a dreary + consciousness of duty done and more duty waiting for him the + following day, as a sleeping companion. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton's life had been ruined by an early and an unsuccessful + marriage. At twenty, when full of the early, divine fires of life, + he had married a girl of his own age and rank, dazzled by the + beauty she then, in his eyes, possessed, and in that amazing + blindness to character that make women view men with wondering + contempt. His blindness, however, ended with the ceremony. On his + wedding-night the woman, who, it must be admitted, had acted her + part of loving submissiveness, of gentle devotion, admirably, + mocked at him and his genuine, ardent passion. +</p> +<p> + How well he had always remembered her words to him as they stood + face to face in the chilly whiteness of an English bridal chamber + in midwinter! "It's no use, dear, I don't want any of this sort of + thing. It seems to me coarse and stupid, and I don't want the + bother of a dozen babies. I married because I wanted the position + of a married woman, and a nice presentable man to go about with in + society. Besides, things were not satisfactory at home, and I + wanted a man to keep me, and all that. But I don't see why you + should get into such a state of mind about it. I will keep house, + and be perfectly good and amiable, and we can go about together, of + course; only I want to keep my own room." +</p> +<p> + And how well he remembered her as she stood there, shattering his + life with her cold, light words—a tall, slim girl, in her white + dinner dress! She had been very fair then, with a quantity of soft + flaxen hair, which shortly after she had taken to dyeing—a thing + he had always hated. She had a small, heart-shaped face, so light + in colour as to suggest anæmia, with a high, thin nose, of which + the nostrils were excessively pinched together, a short upper lip, + and a thick, quite colourless mouth, small when closed, when she + laughed opening wide far back to her throat, showing, as it seemed, + an infinite quantity of long, narrow, white, wolf-like teeth. +</p> +<p> + How hideous she had suddenly appeared to him in those moments, seen + through the dark waves of passion she rolled back upon him! In the + hot, rosy glow she had deliberately conjured up before his eyes of + love and love returned he had thought her beautiful. Now, as she + took the veil from her mean, base mind, it fell also from her + beauty, and he saw her ugly, as she really was, body and soul. + Stunned and amazed, loathing his own folly, his own blindness, + condemning these more than he did her cruelty, Hamilton had + listened in silence while she revealed herself. When the first + shock was over, he had set himself to talk and reason with her. + Naturally intensely kind and sympathetic, it was easy for him to + see another's view, to put himself in another's place. He blamed + himself at once, more than her, for the position he now found + himself in. And patiently he tried to understand it, to find the + clue, if possible, to remedy it. He reasoned long and gently with + her, but she, knowing well the generous nature she had to deal + with, yielded not an inch. Hamilton was not the man to use force or + violence. The passions of the body, divested of their soul, were + nothing to him. On that night she struck down within him all desire + for or interest in her. He left her at last, and withdrew to + another room, where he sat through the remaining hours of the + night, looking into the face of his future. +</p> +<p> + Shortly after, he had left for India, the corpse of dead passion + within his breast. He made a confident of no one, told no one of + his secret burden, remitted half his pay regularly to his wife with + that obedience to custom and duty as the world sees it, with that + quiet dutifulness that is so astounding to the onlooker, but + characteristic of so many Englishmen, and threw himself into his + work, avoiding women and personal relations with them. +</p> +<p> + Such a life as this invariably calls down the anger of Venus, and + Hamilton had worn out by now the patience of the goddess. +</p> +<p> + The tragedy of Euripides' Hippolytus is called a myth, but that + same tragedy is played out over and over again, year by year, in + all time, and is as true now as it was then. The slighted goddess + takes her revenge at last. As he walked on, the sound of some + tom-toms dulled by distance came to his ears. He hesitated at a + crossing where a side alley led down towards the bazaar, then + without thought or intention walked down the turning, the music + growing louder as he advanced. +</p> +<p> + It came from a house some way lower down, before the open door of + which hung a large white sheet with scarlet letters on it. Hamilton + glanced up and read on it, "Dancing girls from the Deccan. + Admission, six annas. Walk in." He stared dully at it till the red + letters danced in the fierce, torrid sunlight, and the flies, + finding him standing motionless, came thickly round his face. A + puff of hot wind blew down the street, bringing the dust: it lifted + a corner of the sheet and turned it back from the doorway. Within + looked cool and dark. The entry was a square of darkness. He was + tired of the sun, the heat, the noise, the dust and the flies. With + no thought other than seeking for shelter, he stepped behind the + sheet and was in the darkness; a turnstile barred his way: on the + top of it he laid down his six annas, his eyes too full of the + yellow glare of the outside to see whom he paid: he felt the + turnstile yield, and stumbled on in the obscurity. A hand pushed + him between two curtains. Then he found himself in a low square + room, and could see about him again by the subdued light of oil + lamps fixed against the wall. At one end was the small stage, its + scarlet curtain now down; in front a row of tin lamps, primitive + footlights, and the rest of the room was filled with rows of empty + chairs. Mechanically and without interest, Hamilton went forward + and seated himself in the first of these rows. The tom-toms had + ceased: there was quiet, an interval of rest presumably for the + dancers. It was far cooler than outside, and Hamilton breathed a + sigh of relief as he sank into his seat. The dimness of the light, + the quiet, the coolness all pleased him: he had not known till he + sat down how tired he was. He might have sat there a quarter of an + hour, his mind in that state of hopeless blank that supervenes on + overmuch unsatisfactory thinking, when suddenly the tom-toms + started up again with a terrific rattle, and the scarlet curtain + was somewhat spasmodically jerked up, displaying a semicircle of + girls seated on European chairs facing the tin lamps. Two of the + seven were African girls, with the woolly hair and jet black skin + of their race; they were seated one at each end of the semicircle, + dressed in short scarlet skirts, standing out from their waist in + English ballet-girl fashion, the upper part of their bodies bare, + except for the masses of coloured glass necklaces covering their + breast from throat to waist. The next pair of girls seemed to + represent Spanish dancers, and were in ankle-long black and yellow + dresses, little yellow caps with bells depending from them sat in + amongst their masses of black hair, and they held languidly to + their sides their tambourines and castenets. Next on the chairs sat + two strictly Eastern dancers in transparent pale green gauzy + clothing held into waist and each ankle by jeweled bands. Their + pale ivory bodies shone through the filmy green muslin as the moon + shines clearly in green water, and the jewels blazed like stars + with red and blue fires at each movement of their limbs. Their + heads were crowned simply with white clematis, and the glory of + their straight-featured Circassian faces, together with the + unrivalled contours of softly moulded throat and breast and perfect + limbs, veiled only so much as a light mist may veil, would have + taken the breath away of the most inveterate frequenter of the + Alhambra and Empire in dull old England. Hamilton drew in his + breath with a little start as he first saw the semicircle, but it + was not on the Circassians that his eyes were fixed, but on the + very centre figure of that beautiful half-moon. Set in the centre, + she seemed to be considered the pearl amongst them, as indeed she + was. The mist that enveloped her was not pale green as the veils of + the other two, but white, and the beautiful perfect form that it + enclosed was of a warmer, brighter tint than theirs. +</p> +<p> + The white films of the drapery fell from the base of her throat, + leaving her arms quite bare, but softly clinging to breast and + flanks, till a gold band resting on her hips confined it closely, + and depressed in the centre, was fastened by a single enormous + ruby, the one spot of blood-red colour upon her. Beneath the + sloping belt of gold fell her loose Turkish trousers of gleaming + white, transparent tissue, clasped at the ankles by bands of gold. + On her feet were little Turkish slippers, on her brow—nothing, but + the crown of her radiant youth and beauty. Hamilton, gazing at it + across the footlights, thought he had never seen, either pictured + or in the flesh, a face so beautiful, so full of the beauty, the + goodness, the power and wonder of life. +</p> +<p> + The sight thrilled him. Like the power of electricity, its power + began to run along his veins, heating them, stirring them, calling + upon nerve and muscle and sense to wake up. He looked, and life + itself seemed to stream into him through his eyes. The girl's face + was a well-rounded oval, supported on the round, perfect column of + her throat; the eyes seemed pools of blackness that had caught all + the splendour and the radiance of a thousand Eastern nights. The + fires of many stars, the whole brilliance of the purple nights of + Asia were mirrored in them. Above them rose the dark, arching span + of the eyebrows on the soft warm-tinted forehead, cut in one line + of severest beauty with the delicate nose. Beneath, the curling + lips were like the flowers of the pomegranate, a living, vivid + scarlet, and the rounded chin had the contour and bloom of the + nectarine. +</p> +<p> + She smiled faintly as she met the fixed gaze of Hamilton's eyes + across the footlights—such an innocent, merry little smile it + seemed, not the mechanical contortions one buys with pieces of + silver. Hamilton's blood seemed to catch light at it and flame all + over his body. He sat upright in his seat: gone were his fatigue, + his thirst, his eye-ache. His frame felt no more discomfort: his + whole soul rushed to his eyes, and sat there watching. In some men + their physical constitution is so closely knitted to the mental, + that the slightest shock to either instantly vibrates through the + other and works its effect equally on both. Hamilton was of this + order, and his body responded, instantly now, to the joy and + interest born suddenly in his mind. +</p> +<p> + A moment after the curtain was rolled up, a huge negro, dressed in + a fancy dress of scarlet, and with a high cap of the same colour on + his head, came on from the side. In his hand he carried a small + dog-whip, and as he cracked it all the girls stood up. Hamilton + sickened as he looked at him: an indefinable feeling of horror came + over him as this man stalked about the stage. He pointed with his + whip to the two African girls at the end of the semicircle, and + they came forward, while the rest sat down. A horrid uneasy feeling + of discomfort grew up in Hamilton, similar to that which a lover of + animals feels, when called upon to witness performing dogs, and all + the fear and anxiety pent up in their fast-beating little hearts is + communicated to himself. He watched the girls' faces keenly as the + negro went round and placed himself behind the middle chair of the + semicircle, while the two Africans danced. Hamilton hardly noticed + their dance, a curious barbaric performance that would have been + alarming to the British matron, but was neither new nor interesting + to Hamilton. He kept his eyes fixed on the white-clothed girl in + the centre, and the sinister figure behind her chair. She seemed + calm and indifferent, and when the negro put his hand on her + shoulder looked up and listened to his words without fear or + repulsion. Hamilton, keenly alive, with every sense alert, sat in + his chair, a prey to the new and delightful feeling, not known for + years, of interest. +</p> +<p> + Yes, he was interested, and the energetic sense of loathing for + the negro proved it. The music, loud and strident—an ordinary + Italian piano-organ having been introduced amongst the Oriental + instruments—banged on, and then abruptly came to a stop when the + negro cracked his whip. The two African women resumed their chairs, + there was some applause, and a good many small coins fell on the + stage from the hands of the audience. The second pair of girls + rose, came forward and commenced to dance, the organ playing some + appropriate Spanish airs. After these, the two Indian girls who + gave the usual <i>dance de ventre</i> to a lively Italian air on the + organ. Then, at last, <i>she</i> rose from her chair and approached the + footlights. The organ ceased playing, only the Indian music + continued: wild sensual music, imitating at intervals the cries of + passion. +</p> +<p> + To this accompaniment the girl danced. +</p> +<p> + Had any British matrons been present we must hope they would have + walked out, yet, to the eye of the artist, there was nothing coarse + or offending, simply a most beautiful harmony of motion. The girl's + beauty, her grace and youth, and the slight lissomness of all her + body lent to the dance a poetry, a refinement it would not have + possessed with another exponent. +</p> +<p> + Moreover, though there was a certain ardour in her looks and + gestures, in the way she yielded her limbs and body to the + influence of the music, yet there was also a gay innocence, a + bright naïve irresponsibility in it that contrasted strongly with + the sinister intention underlying all the movements of the other + two Indian dancers. At the end of the dance Hamilton took a rupee + from his pocket and threw it across the tin lamps towards her feet. + She picked it up smiling, though she left the other coins which + fell on the stage untouched, and went back to her chair. +</p> +<p> + After her dance, the great negro came forward and did a turn of his + own. Hamilton looked away. What was this man to the little circle? + he wondered. He could not keep his mind off that one query? Were + they his slaves? willing or unwilling? did they constitute his + harem? or were they paid, independent workers? His mind was made up + to get speech with this one girl, at least, that evening. This + delightful feeling of interest, this pleasure, even this keen + disgust, all were so welcome to him in the dreary mental state of + indifference that had become his habit, that he welcomed them + eagerly, and could not let them go. Beyond this there was rising + within him, suddenly and overwhelmingly, the force of Life, + indignant at the long repression it had been subjected to. Man may + be a civilized being, accustomed to the artificial restraints and + laws he has laid upon himself, but there remains within him still + that primitive nature that knows nothing, and never will learn + anything of those laws, and which leaps up suddenly after years of + its prison-life in overpowering revolt, and says, "Joy is my + birthright. I will have it!" +</p> +<p> + This moment is the crisis of most lives. It was with Hamilton now, + and it seemed suddenly to him that twenty years of fidelity to an + unloved, unloving woman was enough. The debt contracted at the + altar twenty years before had been paid off. The promise, given + under a misunderstanding to one who had wilfully deceived him, was + wiped out. It was a marvel to him in those moments how it had held + him so long. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton had one of those keen, brilliant minds that make their + decisions quickly, and rarely regret them. He took his resolution + now. That prisoner in revolt within him should be free; he would + strike off the fetters he had worn too long and vainly. He was + before the open book of Life, at that page where he had stood so + long. With a firm decisive hand he would take the new page, and + turn it over. That last page, on which his wife's name was written + large, was completely done with, closed. +</p> +<p> + The old joyous spirit, the keen eagerness for love and joy and + life, the Pagan's gay rejoicing in it, that had been such a marked + feature of his disposition before his marriage, came back to him, + rushed through him, refilled him. +</p> +<p> + His marriage, with its disillusionment, had crushed it out of him + for a time, and, with that same decisiveness that marked him now, + he had turned over the pages of youthful dreams and joys and loves, + and opened the next page of work, of strenuous endeavour, of a + hard, rigid observance of fidelity to the vows he had taken. And + for a time work and its rewards, effort and its returns, a hard, + practical life in the world amongst men, had held him. That now + was no longer to be all to him. +</p> +<p> + His life, and such joy as it might hold for him, was to be his own + again. The joy of the decisions filled him, elated him. He felt as + if his mind had sudden wings, and could lift him with it to the + roof. +</p> +<p> + Such a decision, when it comes, seems to oneself, as it seemed to + Hamilton now, a sudden thing. It has the force and shock of a + revelation, but it is not really sudden. The great rebellion nearly + all natures—certainly some, and these usually the greatest and + best—feel at the absence of joy in their lives had been gradually + growing within him, gathering a little strength each day. It is + only the climax of such feelings that is sudden—the awakening of + the mind to their presence. The growth has been going on day by + day, week by week, unmeasured, unreckoned with. +</p> +<p> + Immediately the curtain fell, Hamilton left his seat and went + up to a door, reached by a few steps, on the level of the + footlights, and at the left side of them. No one hindered him. + The rest of the audience were going out. He pushed the door, + which yielded readily, and he passed through. A narrow, + white-washed, lath-and-plaster passage opened before him, at the + end of which he saw a tin lamp burning against the wall and heard + voices. +</p> +<p> + The passage led into a three-cornered room, where he found some of + the dancers and an old woman who was huddled up on a straw mat in + the corner. The negro was not there. The girls stood about idly; + some were changing their clothes. They did not seem to heed his + presence, except the one he was seeking, who came straight towards + him. As she moved across the dirty, littered room, her limbs under + their transparent covering moved, and her head was carried with the + air of an empress. "Will the Sahib come with me?" she said in a + low, soft tone. She raised her eyes to his face. They were wide, + enquiring, like the deer's brought face to face with the hunter in + the green thickets. +</p> +<p> + The other girls glanced towards him, and some smiles were + exchanged, but no one approached him. They seemed to understand he + was there only for the star of the troupe. Hamilton looked down + into those glorious midnight eyes fixed upon him, and a faint + colour came into his cheek. +</p> +<p> + "I will come wherever you lead," he answered in Hindustani. These + surroundings were horrible, but the shade of them did not seem to + dim her charm. +</p> +<p> + The scent in the air was disagreeable. Tawdry spangles and false + jewels lay about on the tumble-down settees. From behind little + doors that opened from the walls round came the sound of men's + voices. +</p> +<p> + "Let the Sahib come this way, then," she answered, and turned + towards one of the small doors in the wall. This took them into + another tiny, musty-smelling passage that wound about like the run + of a rabbit warren, only wide enough for one to pass along at a + time, and the strips of lath were so low overhead that Hamilton + bent his neck involuntarily to avoid them. +</p> +<p> + At a door in the side of this she stopped and pushed it open; the + little run way wound on beyond in the darkness. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton followed her into the sloping-roofed, lath-and-plaster + pent-house that had been run up between the back of the stage and + the wall of the building. Native lamps were hooked into the wall, + and their light showed the garish ugliness of it all—the hastily + whitewashed walls, the scraps of ragged, dirty, scarlet cloth hung + here and there over a bulge or stain in the plaster: the boarded + floor, uneven and cracked: the bed against the wall, not too clean + looking, its dingy curtains not quite concealing the dingier + pillows; the broken chair on which a basin stood, placed on two + grey-looking towels; another chair with the back rails knocked out + leaning against the wall. +</p> +<p> + He threw his gaze round it in a moment's rapid survey, then he + pressed to the rickety, uneven door and shot the bolt. +</p> +<p> + The girl stood in the middle of the room, an exquisitely lovely + figure. She regarded him with wide, innocent eyes. Hamilton felt + all the blood alight in his veins; it seemed to him he could hear + his pulses beating. Never in his life before had joy and passion + met within him to stir him as they did now, but in natures where + there is a strong, deep strain of intellectuality the body never + quite conquers the mind, the light of the intellect never quite + goes down, however strong the sea, however high the waves of + animal passion on which it rides; and now Hamilton felt the great + appeal to his brain as well as to his senses that the girl's beauty + made. +</p> +<p> + He went up to her. She looked at him with an intense admiration, + almost worship in her eyes. A man at such moments looks, as Nature + intended he should, his very best, and Hamilton's face, of a noble + and splendid type, lighted now by the keenest animation, held her + gaze. +</p> +<p> + "Tell me," he said in a low tone, for footsteps passed on the + creaking boards, and gibbering voices and laughter could be heard + outside, "tell me, what is that man to you? Do you belong to him, + all of you?" +</p> +<p> + "That...? He is not a man, he is a ... nothing," replied the girl, + looking up with calm, glorious eyes. "He can do no harm ... nor + good." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton drew a quick breath. +</p> +<p> + "You dance like this every evening, and then choose someone in the + audience in this way?" he questioned, slipping his hand round her + neck and looking down at her, a half-amused sadness coming into his + eyes. +</p> +<p> + The girl shook her head with a quick negation. +</p> +<p> + "No, I have only been here a few days—a week, I think. Did you + notice that old woman as we came through here? I belong to her; she + taught me to dance. She brought me here, and I dance for the + Nothing, but I have never taken any one like this before. The other + girls do, every night, but each night the Nothing said to me, 'No + one here to-night, good enough. Wait till an English Sahib comes.'" +</p> +<p> + Hamilton listened with a paling cheek; his breath came and went + faintly; he hardly seemed to draw it; he put his next question very + gently, watching her open brow and proud, fearless eyes. +</p> +<p> + "Do you know nothing of men at all, then?" +</p> +<p> + "Nothing, Sahib, nothing," she answered, falling on her knees + suddenly at his feet, and raising her hands towards him. "This will + be my bridal night with the Sahib. The Nothing told me to please + you, to do all you told me. What shall I do? how shall I please + you?" +</p> +<p> + Hamilton looked down upon her: his brain seemed whirling; the + pulses along his veins beat heavily; new worlds, new vistas of life + seemed opening before him as he looked at her, so beautiful in her + first youth, in her unclouded innocence, full, it is true, of + Oriental passion, with a certain Oriental absence of shame, but + untouched, able to be his, and his only. +</p> +<p> + Before he could speak again, or collect his thoughts that the + girl's words had scattered, her soft voice went on: +</p> +<p> + "Surely the Sahib is a god, not a man. I have seen the men across + the footlights: there were none like the Sahib. I said to my + mother, 'I do not like men, I do not want them; what shall I do?' + And my mother said, 'There is no hurry, my child; we will wait till + a rich Sahib comes.' But you are not a man, you must be a god, you + are so beautiful; and I am the slave of the Sahib, for ever and + ever." +</p> +<p> + She looked up at him, great lights seemed to have been lighted in + the midnight pools of her eyes, the curved lips parted a little, + showing the perfect, even teeth; the rounded, warm-hued cheeks + glowed; the lids of her eyes lifted as those of a person looking + out into a new world. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton stood looking at her, and two great seas of conflicting + emotions swept into his brain, and under their tumult he remained + irresolute. Mere instincts and nature, the common impulse of the + male to take his pleasure whenever offered, prompted him to draw + her to his breast and let her learn the great joy of life in his + arms; but some higher feeling held him back: the knowledge that the + first way in which a woman learns these things colours her whole + after estimation of them, restrained him. +</p> +<p> + Here he saw, suddenly, there was new ground for Love to build + himself a habitation upon. Should it be but a rude shanty, loosely + constructed of Desire? Was it not rather such a fair and lovely + site that it was worthy a perfect temple, built and finished with + delicate care? +</p> +<p> + This flower of wonderful bloom he had found by chance in such a + poor, rough garden, was it not better to carry it gently to some + sheltered spot, to transplant and keep it for his own, rather than + just tear at it with a careless touch in passing by? +</p> +<p> + Hamilton had the brain of the artist and the poet; things touched + him less by their reality than by that strange halo imagination + throws round them. +</p> +<p> + The sound of some shuffling steps in the passage outside, a lurch + as of some drunken and unsteady figure, some whispered words, and + then a burst of ribald laughter just outside the door, decided him. + No: her wedding night should not be here. Keen in his sympathy with + women, Hamilton knew how often that night recurs to a woman's + thoughts, and should its memories always bring back to her this + loathsome shed, these hideous sounds? +</p> +<p> + A repulsion so great filled him that it swept back his desire for + the moment. A great eagerness to get her away unharmed, unsoiled + from such a place, filled him. Already she seemed to be part of + himself, to be a possession he must guard. His heart was empty and + hungry: by means of her beauty and this strange unexpected + innocence she had so suddenly revealed to him, she had leapt into + it, made it her own. He sat down on the mean, dingy bed, and drew + her warm, supple body into his arms: she stood within their circle + submissively, quivering with pleasure. His touch was very gentle + and reverent, for he was a man who knew the value of essentials; + his brain was keen enough to go down to them and judge of them, + undeterred and unhindered and undeceived by externals, by + fictitious emblems. He saw here that he was in the presence of a + tender, youthful, unformed mind of complete innocence, and the + abhorrent surroundings affected that essential not at all. +</p> +<p> + A married woman in his own rank, with her dozen lovers and her + knowledge of evil, high in the favour of the world, could never + have had from him the same reverence that he gave to this + dancing-girl of the Deccan, who in the world's eyes was but a + creature put under his feet for him to trample on. +</p> +<p> + "Would you like to leave all these people and come to live only + with me? dance only for me?" he said softly, looking into those + great wondering eyes fixed in awe upon his face. +</p> +<p> + "Would you like to have a house to yourself, and a garden full of + flowers, and stay there with me alone?" +</p> +<p> + The girl clasped her hands joyously, smile after smile rippled + over the brilliant face. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, Sahib, it would be paradise! If I can stay with the Sahib, I + shall be happy anywhere. I am the slave of the Sahib. If he but use + me as the mat before his door to walk upon, I shall be content." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton shivered. He drew her a little closer. "Hush! I do not + like to hear you say those things. You shall come to me and sleep + in my arms, but not to-night. Love is a very great thing: it will + be a great thing with us, and it must not be thought of lightly, do + you see? Will you stay here and think of me only till I come again? + Think of your bridal night with me, dream of me till I come back + for you?" +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib's will is my law; but even if I wished, I could think of + nothing else but him till I see him again," she responded, her eyes + fixed upon his face. Hamilton gazed upon her. She made such a + lovely picture standing there: he thought he had never seen beauty + so perfect, so exquisitely fresh. The soft transparent tunic did + not conceal it, only lightly veiled its bloom. Her breasts, rounded + and firm, stood out as a statue's. They seemed to express the + vigour of her buoyant youth: they had never known artificial + support, and needed none. The waist was naturally slight, the hips + also, the straight supple limbs and round arms were the most + richly-modelled parts, perhaps, of the whole perfect form. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton slipped his arm down to her yielding waist and drew her + closer. Then he bent his head and kissed the wonderfully-carved and + glowing mouth. With a little cry of joy the girl threw both arms + about his neck and kissed him back with a wealth of fervour in her + lips, pressing her soft bosom against his in all the natural, + unrestrained ardour of a first and new-found love. +</p> +<p> + "Sahib, Sahib! do not leave me long. Come and take me away soon! I + am all yours! No other shall see me till you come again." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton was satisfied. He raised his head, his whole ardent nature + aflame. +</p> +<p> + "Dear little girl, let us go then to the old woman, and perhaps I + can pay her enough to make her take you away from here, and keep + you safe till I can come for you." +</p> +<p> + "Come, Sahib, come!" she answered, joyfully drawing out of his + arms and running across the room; she unbolted the door and pulled + it open, nearly causing the old woman who was crouched just + outside, and apparently leaning against it, to roll into the room. +</p> +<p> + "Saidie, Saidie! you have no respect for me," she grumbled, getting + on her feet with some difficulty. Hamilton came up, and helped to + balance her as she stood. +</p> +<p> + "Your Saidie pleases me very much," he said, drawing out a + pocket-book. "I want to take her away from here altogether. How + much do you ask for her?" +</p> +<p> + The old woman's beady-black eyes twinkled and gleamed, and fixed on + the pocket-book. +</p> +<p> + "It is not possible, Sahib," she said in a grumbling tone, "for me + to part with her and her services. A girl like that with her + beauty, her dancing, her singing! She will earn gold every night. + Let the Sahib come here each evening if he will and take his turn + with the rest. For a girl like that to go to one man alone is waste + and folly." +</p> +<p> + The colour mounted to Hamilton's face. His brows contracted. +</p> +<p> + "What I have to say is this," he answered sternly and briefly, "I + want this girl, and if you take her with you to some place of + safety for to-night, I will come to-morrow or the next day and give + you 2000 rupees for her—no more and no less. I have spoken." +</p> +<p> + "Two thousand rupees!" replied shrilly the old woman, "for Saidie, + the star of the dancers, and not yet fifteen! No, Sahib, no! a + Parsee will give more than that for a half hour with her." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton caught the old creature by her skinny arm: +</p> +<p> + "You waste your words talking to me," he said. "I am a police + magistrate, and I can have your whole place here closed, and all of + you put in prison, if I choose. The girl is willing to come with + me, and I will take her and pay you well for her. You have her + ready for me to-morrow night, or you go to prison—which you + please." The old woman shivered at the word magistrate, and fell + trembling on her knees. +</p> +<p> + "Let the Sahib have mercy! That great black brute will kill me if + the police come here. I take Saidie to my house, the Sahib comes + there when he will. He pays, he has her. It is all finished." +</p> +<p> + She spread out her thin black hands in a shaking gesture of + finality, and then fell forward and kissed Hamilton's boots after + the complimentary but embarrassing manner of natives. Hamilton drew + back a little. He was angered that Saidie should be witness, + auditor of all this. She stood silent, passive, gazing at the hot, + angry colour mounting to his face. He bent forward and dragged the + old woman up by her arms. +</p> +<p> + "Take this for yourself now," he said, putting a hundred-rupee note + into her hand, "and make no more difficulty. Take every care of + Saidie, and you will have your two thousand rupees very shortly." +</p> +<p> + The old woman seized the note, and began to mumble blessings on + Hamilton, which he cut short: "Give me the name of your street and + the house where you live, that I may find you easily," he said, and + noted down the directions she gave him. Then he turned to the girl + and put his arm round her neck. +</p> +<p> + "Dear Saidie! I trust to you. Remember it is your innocence, your + virtue, I love more than your beauty. Do not dance nor let anyone + see you till I come again." +</p> +<p> + He kissed her on the lips as she promised him. The soft, warm form + thrilled against him as their lips met. Then with a mental wrench + he turned and went out of the room and quickly down the dark + passage. +</p> +<p> + At the end his way was barred by the immense form of the negro. +</p> +<p> + "Something for me, master; do not forget me! I keep the pretty + things here for the gentlemen to see." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton drew back with loathing. Then he reflected—it was better, + perhaps, to keep all smooth. +</p> +<p> + He dived into his pockets and found a roll of small notes, which he + pushed into the negro's hand. The man bowed and let him pass, and + Hamilton went on out into the street. +</p> +<p> + It was evening now. The calm, lovely golden light of an Indian + evening fell all around him as he walked rapidly back to his + bungalow. As he entered it, how different he felt from the man who + had left it that morning! How light his footstep, how bright and + keen the tone of his voice! It quite surprised himself as he called + out to his butler that he was ready for dinner. Then he bounded up + to his room humming. His very muscles were of quite a different + texture seemingly now from an hour or two ago! How the blood flew + about joyously in his body! Dear Venus! she makes us pay generally, + but who can cavil at the glorious gifts she gives? As soon as his + dinner was disposed of, and all his other servants had retired from + the room, Hamilton called his butler, Pir Bakhs, to him, and held a + long conference with that intelligent and trustworthy individual. + Hamilton was one of those men that by reason of his strikingly good + looks, his charm of manner, his consideration for others, and his + complete control over himself that never allowed him to be betrayed + into an unjust word or action was greatly liked by every one, and + simply worshipped by his servants and all those in any way in a + position dependent on him. +</p> +<p> + When to-night Pir Bakhs was honoured by his confidence, the + servant's whole will and all his keen energies rose with delight + to serve his master. After he had listened in silence to + Hamilton's wishes, he proceeded to make himself master of the whole + scheme, detail by detail. +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib wishes a very beautiful bungalow far out, away from the + city? I know of one house across the desert; my cousin was butler + there. The Sahib went away to England, and the bungalow is to be + let furnished. Have I the Sahib's permission to go down to bazaar, + see my cousin to-night? I make all arrangements. I go to-morrow + morning; I get cook and all other servants. I stay there and make + all ready for the Sahib to-morrow evening." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton smiled at the man's eagerness to serve him. He knew well + that secretly in his heart his Mahommedan butler had always + deplored the severely monastic style in which he had lived, the + absence of women in his master's bungalow, the emptiness of his + arms that should have had to bear his master's children, and that + he now was ready to welcome heartily his master's reformation. +</p> +<p> + "Could you really do all that, Pir Bakhs?" he asked; "and can you + assure me that the house is a good one, and has the compound been + well kept up?" +</p> +<p> + "The house is about the same as this, but not quite so large. It is + in the oasis of Deira, across the desert. The Sahib knows how well + the palms grow there. My cousin tells me the compound is very + large; the Sahib there kept four malis;<a name="1"></a><a href="#note-1"><small>[1]</small></a> very fine garden, many + English roses there." +</p> +<p> + "English roses I do not care for, Pir Bakhs," returned Hamilton + with a melancholy smile. "The roses of the East are far fairer to + me." +</p> +<p> + The butler bowed with his hand to his forehead. He took his + master's speech as a gracious compliment to his country. +</p> +<p> + "Everything grow there," he answered, spreading out his hands: + "pomegranates, bamboo, mangoes, bananas, sago palm, cocoanut palm, + magnolia—everything. I go to-morrow, I engage malis; I have all + ready for the Sahib." +</p> +<p> + "Very well, I trust you with it all. I shall keep on this house + just as it is, and leave most of the servants here. You and your + wives must come out with me, and you engage any other necessary + servants and hire any extra furniture you want." +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib is very good to his servant," returned the butler, his + face lighting up joyfully. "When will the Sahib shed the light of + his countenance on the bungalow?" +</p> +<p> + "I will try to run out to see it, to-morrow, after office hours," + replied Hamilton, "if you will have all ready by then. I shall look + over it, and return to dine here as usual. Then about ten or later, + I will come over and bring your new mistress out with me. You must + have a good supper waiting for us. Take over all the linen and + plate you may want, but see that enough is left in this house so + that I can entertain the English Sahibs here if I want to, and let + my riding camel be well fed early. I shall use him for coming and + going. That's all, I think." +</p> +<p> + The butler bowed, and retired radiant with joyous importance, and + Hamilton sat on alone by the table thinking. The blood ran at high + tide along his veins, his eyes glowed, looking into space. Life, he + thought, what a joyous thing it was when it stretched out its hands + full of gifts! +</p> +<br> +<a name="note-1"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<a href="#1"><u>1</u></a>. Gardeners. +</p> + +<a name="2HCH0002"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h3> + CHAPTER II +</h3> +<p> + The following afternoon, directly his work at the office was + finished, he went out to the oasis in the desert to look at his new + possession, his bungalow in the palms. +</p> +<p> + The moment he saw it peeping out from amongst them, and surrounded + by roses, he expressed himself satisfied, and named the place + Saied-i-stan, or the place of happiness. +</p> +<p> + The butler met him there; he was bursting with self-importance. +</p> +<p> + "You leave everything to me, Sahib—everything. I know all the + Sahib wants. He shall have all. Let him come, ten o'clock, nine + o'clock, no matter when; all quite ready. I am here. I have + everything waiting for the Sahib." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton smiled and praised him, and went back to the station; took + a pretence of dinner and a hurried cup of coffee, and then went + down into the bazaar with the precious bit of paper containing the + directions to Saidie's dwelling-place in his breast pocket. +</p> +<p> + He found the house at last, and, going in at the doorless + entrance, climbed patiently the wooden stairs that ran straight up + from it in complete darkness. On the topmost landing—a frail + wooden structure that creaked beneath his feet—he paused, and + rapped twice on the door opposite him. +</p> +<p> + His heart beat rapidly as he stood there; the blood seemed flying + through it. All the strength of his vigorous body seemed gathering + itself together within him, all the fire of his keen, hungry brain + leapt up, and waiting there in the dark on the narrow landing he + knew the joy of life. +</p> +<p> + The door was opened. In a moment his eye swept round the interior + of the high windowless room. The floor was bare, with mats here and + there, and in the centre stood a flat pan of charcoal, glowing + under a closed and steaming cooking-pot. At one end a coarse chick, + suspended from a wooden bar, dropped its long lines to the floor, + and behind this, on some cushions, sat Saidie with another of the + dancing-girls. +</p> +<p> + The old woman who had opened the door, salaamed, touching the floor + with her forehead as Hamilton walked in, and then securely shut and + fastened the door behind him. Saidie rose and looked through the + shimmering lines of the chick at him as he entered. +</p> +<p> + Very handsome the tall commanding figure looked in the mean, bare + room: the long neck and well-modelled head, with its black, + close-cut hair, stood out a noble relief against the colourless + wall, and the clear brown skin, with the warm tint of quick blood + in it that showed above the English collar, arrested the girl's + eyes with a keen thrill of joy. Looking at him, she felt rushing + through her the passionate delight that self-surrender to such a + man would be. Without waiting to be summoned, she parted the lines + of the chick, came out from them, and fell on her knees at his + feet. +</p> +<p> + The heat in the shut-up room was very great, and she was wearing + only a straight white muslin tunic, through which all the soft + beauty of her form could be seen, as an English face is seen + through a veil. Her hair was looped back from her brows and tied + simply with a piece of green ribbon, as an English girl's might + have been, and flowed in its thick, black glossy waves to her + waist. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton bent over her and raised her in his arms, feeling in that + moment, though the whole universe were reeling and rocking round + him to its ruin, he would care nothing while he pressed that soft + breast to his. +</p> +<p> + The old woman sat down cross-legged by the charcoal, and began to + fan it. +</p> +<p> + The other girl behind the chick looked out curiously, but her eyes + never noted the strength and beauty of Hamilton's figure, nor the + bright glow in the oval cheek: she looked to see if he wore rings + on his fingers, and tried to catch sight of the links in his cuffs + to see if they were silver or gold. +</p> +<p> + Saidie had the divine gift of passion: all the fire of the gods in + her veins. Zenobie had none, and Saidie's joy now was something she + could not understand. +</p> +<p> + "Have you come to take me away, now at once?" Saidie murmured in a + soft, passionate whisper close to his ear, and the accent of joy + and delight went quivering down through the deepest recesses of the + man's being. +</p> +<p> + "Yes: are you ready to come with me?" Needless question! put only + for the supreme pleasure of listening to its answer. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, more than ready," whispered the soft voice back. "How shall + the slave explain her longing to her lord?" +</p> +<p> + Zenobie had come round the chick, while they stood by the door, and + drawn forward the one little low wooden stool that they possessed. + She came up now, and pulled at Saidie's sleeve. +</p> +<p> + "Let the Sahib be seated," she said reprovingly, and Saidie let her + arms slip from his neck and drew him forward to the stool by the + charcoal pan. +</p> +<p> + With some difficulty Hamilton drew up his long legs and seated + himself cautiously on the small seat; Saidie and Zenobie sat + cross-legged on the ground close to his feet. The old woman ceased + to fan the fire; the bright red glow of the coals fell softly on + the strong, noble beauty of the man's face, and Saidie, looking up + to it, sat speechless, her bosom heaving, her lips parted, her dark + eyes full of mysterious fires, melting, swimming, behind their veil + of lashes. +</p> +<p> + Zenobie watched her with curiosity: what did she feel for this + infidel who wore no rings and only silver in his cuffs? +</p> +<p> + Hamilton, as soon as he was seated, drew out his pocket-book—old + and worn, for he spent little on himself—and opened it. +</p> +<p> + The old woman sat up. Zenobie's eyes gleamed: the business was + going to commence. Only Saidie did not stir nor move her eyes from + his face. +</p> +<p> + "Two thousand rupees was the price agreed upon; here it is," he + said, taking out a thick bundle of notes that occupied the whole + inside of the poor, limp pocket-book; and as the old woman + stretched out a skinny claw for them and began to slowly count + them, he turned his gaze away, on to the upturned face of the girl + watching him with sensual adoration. +</p> +<p> + The old woman counted through the notes, and then securely tied + them into the end of her chudda. +</p> +<p> + "The sum is the due sum, well counted," she said, looking up; "and + when will my lord take his slave?" +</p> +<p> + "To-night," Hamilton replied briefly, but not without a swift + enquiring glance into the girl's eyes. Though he had bought and + paid for her, he could not get out of the Western knack of + considering that the girl's desires had to be consulted. +</p> +<p> + The old woman raised her hands in affected horror. +</p> +<p> + "To-night! But she is not well clothed, she is not bathed and + anointed; the bridal robes are not prepared. My lord, it cannot + be!" +</p> +<p> + Hamilton looked at Saidie; she crept to his side and put her head + on his breast. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, to-night, take me to-night," she murmured eagerly; he smiled, + and put his arm around her. +</p> +<p> + "The bridal clothes are of no consequence," he answered decisively. + "My camel waits below. I will take her to-night." +</p> +<p> + "She has no shoes," objected the old woman. "She cannot descend the + stairs." +</p> +<p> + "I will carry her down," replied Hamilton, and, springing up from + the little stool, he stooped over the lovely form at his feet, + raising her into his arms, close to his breast. Saidie clung to his + neck with a little cry of pleasure, her bare, warm-tinted feet hung + over his arm. +</p> +<p> + The old woman gasped: Zenobie laughed. The Englishman looked so + big, so immensely strong. The weight of Saidie, tall and + well-developed as she was, seemed as nothing to him. +</p> +<p> + "Zenobie, will you hold the lamp at the doorway, that he may see + his way?" Saidie cried out, slipping off a thin gold circlet she + wore on her arm, and letting it drop into the other's hands. +</p> +<p> + "Farewell, Zenobie; may you be always as happy as I am now." +</p> +<p> + Zenobie caught the bracelet and ran to the wall, unhooked the lamp + that hung there, and came to the door. +</p> +<p> + "Farewell, my mother," Saidie said, as they turned to it. +</p> +<p> + "Farewell, my daughter; be submissive to the Sahib, and obey him in + all things." +</p> +<p> + The door was opened, and by the dim, uncertain light of Zenobie's + lamp, Hamilton, clasping his warm, living burden, went slowly and + heavily down the bending stairs, feeling the life brimming in every + vein. +</p> +<p> + Outside, in the tranquil splendour of the starry Eastern night, + knelt the camel, peacefully awaiting its lord, and as Hamilton + approached it with his burden, it turned its head and large, liquid + eyes upon him with a gurgle of pleasure. +</p> +<p> + "The camel loves Hamilton Sahib," murmured the girl, as he set her + on the soft red cloth laid over the animal's back, which formed the + only saddle. He took his own place in front of her. +</p> +<p> + "Hold to my belt firmly," he told her, gathering into his hand the + light rein. "Are you ready for him to rise?" +</p> +<p> + He felt her little, soft hands glide in between his belt and waist. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I am quite ready," she answered, and at a word of + encouragement, the great beast rose with its slow, stately swing to + its feet, and Hamilton guided it towards the Meidan. The soft, hot + air stirred against their faces as they moved through the night. +</p> +<p> + Nothing could present a more lovely picture than the bungalow that + evening. A low, white house, looking in the moonlight as if built + of marble, surrounded by masses of palms which threw a delicate + tracery of shadow upon it and drooped their beautiful, fan-like, + feathery branches over it, between it and the jewelled sky. +</p> +<p> + A light verandah ran around the lower of the two stories, + completely covered by the white, star-like bloom of the jessamine + that poured forth floods of fragrance like incense on the hot, + still air, and a giant pink magnolia rioted over the wide porch of + lattice-work. Within it was brightly lighted, and a warm glow from + shaded lamps came out from each window, stealing softly through the + veil of scented jessamine and falling on the masses of pink roses + surrounding the house. +</p> +<p> + The deep peace, the sweet scent in the silence, the kiss of the + moonlight and the starlight on the sleeping flowers, the exquisite + form of the shadows on the white wall, filled Hamilton with + pleasure: each sense seemed subtly ministered to; he felt as if + invisible spirits round him were feeding him with ambrosia. +</p> +<p> + He turned round to Saidie as the camel slowly and majestically + entered the compound gate, and saw her clearly framed in the soft + silver light; all this wondrous beauty round them seemed to be to + her beauty but as the harmonies that in an opera float round the + central air. And she smiled as he turned upon her. +</p> +<p> + "How do you like your new house, Saidie?" he said, half laughing as + he leant back to her. +</p> +<p> + "Surely it is Paradise, Sahib," she murmured back in awestruck + tones. +</p> +<p> + Within the door waited the servants to welcome them in a double + line, and as Saidie entered, they fell flat with their faces on the + floor. She passed through the prostrate row saluting them, and on + to the foot of the stairs. The ayah that the butler had engaged + rose and followed her mistress upstairs, where she was ushered into + her bath and dressing-room; while the butler, swelling with + importance and joyous pride, led Hamilton to the large room he had + prepared as a bedroom on the first floor. As they went in Hamilton + gave a murmur of approval very dear to the man's heart, as he heard + it, standing respectfully by the door. +</p> +<p> + The room was large, and two windows, draped with curtains, stood + open to the soft night. +</p> +<p> + The bed in the centre of the room was one of the wide Indian + charpais which are unrivalled for comfort, and glimmered softly + white beneath its filmy mosquito curtains in the lamplight shed by + four handsome rose-shaded lamps. Small tables stood everywhere, + bearing vases of fresh flowers, roses, and stephanotis; a rich, + deep rose-coloured carpet spread all over the floor, with only a + small border of chetai visible round the walls; and two easy-chairs + of the same colour and numerous smaller ones piled up with cushions + completed the equipment of the room. The air was full of scent, and + the scheme of colour in the room perfect. Nothing but rose and + white was allowed to meet the eye. The flowers were selected with + this view, and the great bowls of roses all blushed the same + glorious tint through the snowy whiteness of the stephanotis. +</p> +<p> + The room suggested, in its softly-lighted glow of pink and white, a + bridal chamber. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton turned to his servant with a pleased smile on his + handsome, animated face. +</p> +<p> + "You are an artist, Pir Bakhs, and a sort of magician, to do all + this in twelve hours." +</p> +<p> + Pir Bakhs bowed and salaamed by the door, his well-formed polished + face wreathed in many smiles. +</p> +<p> + Downstairs the girl was already waiting for her lord, bathed, and + with her long hair shaken out and brushed after the dust of the + desert ride, and looped back from her forehead by a fresh green + ribbon. She did not sit down, but stood waiting. +</p> +<p> + This room showed the same care as the upper one, and the table was + laid out with Hamilton's plate and glass and four beautiful + epergnes held the flowers. +</p> +<p> + Natives are artists, particularly in colour arrangements; the whole + colour scheme here was white and green, and any table in Belgravia + would have had hard work to equal this one. Saidie stood looking at + it, and the servants, already ranged by the sideboard, stood with + their eyes on the ground, yet conscious of her wonderful beauty, + and pleased by it in the same way that they would have felt pride + and pleasure in the beauty and good condition of a new horse or + camel acquired by their master. +</p> +<p> + After a few minutes Hamilton came down. He had put on his evening + clothes as they had been laid out for him by the bearer, and + looked radiant as he entered. +</p> +<p> + Saidie gave a little cry as she saw him. His present dress, well + cut and close-fitting, showed his splendid figure to greater + advantage than the loose suit she had seen him in hitherto. His + long neck carried his fine, spirited head erect, and the masses of + thick, black hair, with just the least wave in it, shone in the + lamplight. His well-cut face, with its gay animation and charming, + debonair, unaffected expression, made a kingly and perfect picture + to the girl's dazzled eyes. +</p> +<p> + As they took their places and their soup was served, she could not + detach her gaze from his face. +</p> +<p> + He laughed as he looked at her. +</p> +<p> + "Come, you must be hungry. Take your soup while it's hot; don't + waste your time looking at me." +</p> +<p> + "Sahib, I cannot help looking at you. You are so wonderful to me! + Please give me leave to. I do not want any soup." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton, who by this time had finished his own, leant back in his + chair and laughed again, looking at her with eyes blazing with + mirth and passion. This innocent, genuine admiration was very + pleasing to him in its flattery; this worship offered to himself, + rather than his gifts, was something new to him, and the girl's + beauty sent all the fires of life in quick streams through his + frame as he looked on it. He was alive for the first time in his + existence, and filled with a surprised happiness as great as the + girl's. He was as virgin to joy as she was to love. "You are the + dearest little girl I ever knew," he said; "but if you won't take + soup, you must eat fish. Yes, I positively refuse you my permission + to look at me till you have finished that whole plate." +</p> +<p> + Saidie dropped her eyes to her fish very submissively at this, + while Hamilton himself filled her glass. +</p> +<p> + "Have you ever tasted wine?" he asked. "This is champagne; drink + it, and tell me what you think of it." +</p> +<p> + "All my people are Mahommedans; we do not drink wine," Saidie + replied, taking up the glass and sipping from it. +</p> +<p> + "Perhaps you won't like it," he suggested, watching her. +</p> +<p> + "If the Sahib gives it to me I shall like it," replied Saidie, + smiling at him over the delicate golden glass: it threw its light + upwards into her great gleaming eyes, and Hamilton kissed the + little hand that put the glass gently down on the table again. +</p> +<p> + Next after the fish came game and joints, course after course, more + food in that one meal than Saidie was accustomed to see for many + people for a week. Her own appetite was soon satisfied, and she sat + for the most part gazing at Hamilton, with her hands tightly locked + together in her lap: such a nervous delight filled her, such a + strange joy in knowing herself to be alive, to be possessed of a + beautiful body that by reason of its beauty was worthy the caresses + of a man like this; such a pure rapture animated every fibre, to + realise that it was in her power to give pleasure to him. With such + feelings as these no faintest hint of humiliation or degradation + could mingle. Saidie felt only that superb and joyous pride that + Nature originally intended the female to have in her surrender to + the male. +</p> +<p> + Her very breath seemed to flutter softly with joyous trepidation + and excitement as it passed over her lips. That she was to be his, + held in his arms, admitted to his embrace, seemed to her to be the + crown of her life, an honour given by special divine favour. +</p> +<p> + So must Rhea Sylvia have felt praying before her Vestal altar when + Mars first appeared to her startled eyes. +</p> +<p> + And Hamilton, with his keen, sensitive temperament, saw into her + mind clearly, and was fully aware of all this fervent adoration, + this intense passionate worship springing within her; and an + immense tenderness and reverence grew up within him, enclosing all + his passion as the crystal vessel encloses the crimson wine. +</p> +<p> + That she would not in her present state have shrunk or flinched + from a knife, if only his hand held it while it wounded her, he + knew quite well, and this wonderful voluntary self-sacrifice which + is the soul of all female passion appealed to him as a very holy + thing. +</p> +<p> + He knew that constantly this adoring love was poured out by women + for men, that almost every virgin heart beats with this same + worship as the first pain of love enters it, but ah! for how short + a time! How quickly the man tears open those eyes that would so + willingly be closed to his vileness! how soon come the infidelity, + the lies and the meanness, the trickery and the treachery! How + assiduously the man teaches the woman who loves him that there is + nothing in him worthy of adoration, not even admiration, not even + decent respect! How little confidence, how little credence she soon + gives to his word that was once so sacred to her! How in her heart, + though her lips say nothing, is that once rapturous worship changed + into a measureless contempt! +</p> +<p> + Men persistently teach women that they must not expect the best + from them, but the lowest. And the women cry in pain as they see + the white mantle of their love trampled upon and dragged in the + mire of lies and falseness, and they take it back from the base + hands and burn it in the fires kindled in their outraged hearts. + Something of this flashed through Hamilton's brain as he met the + adoring trust and love in the girl's eyes, and an unspoken vow + formed itself within him that he would not deceive and betray it, + that his lips should not lie to her, that to the end he would be to + her as she now saw him in the glamour of those first hours. +</p> +<p> + When he had tempted her to every sweet and bon-bon on the table, + and made her drink all the wine he thought good for her, he sent + the servants away, and they remained alone together in the + dining-room with their coffee before them. He put his arm round + her, and drawing her out of her own chair, took her on to his knees + and pressed her head down on his shoulder. +</p> +<p> + "Are you not tired with that long ride on the camel?" he asked. +</p> +<p> + "No, Sahib, I am not tired." +</p> +<p> + The soft weight of her body pressed upon him; her lids drooped over + her eyes as her head leaned against his neck. +</p> +<p> + "I think you are tired and very sleepy," he repeated, pinching the + glowing arm in its transparent muslin sleeve. +</p> +<p> + "If the Sahib says so, I must be," responded Saidie quite simply. +</p> +<p> + "Come, then, and sleep," he said in her ear, and they went + upstairs. +</p> +<p> + Saidie gave a little cry of delight as they entered together the + rose-filled room, and beyond its soft shaded lights she saw the + great flashing planets in the dark sky. +</p> +<p> + "This is a different and a better home for love than we had last + night," said Hamilton softly, as he closed the door. +</p> +<p> + A great peace reigned all round them. Within and without the + bungalow there was no sound. The lights burned steadily and + subdued, the sweet scent of the flowers hung in the air like a + silent benediction upon them. +</p> +<p> + He put his arm round her, and felt her tremble excessively as his + hand unfastened the clasp of her tunic. He stopped, surprised. +</p> +<p> + "Why do you tremble so? Are you afraid of me?" he asked, looking + down upon her, all the tenderness and strength of a great passion + in his eyes. +</p> +<p> + "No, no," she returned passionately, "I tremble because great waves + of happiness rush over me at your touch. I cannot tell you what I + feel, Sahib; the love and happiness within me is breaking me into + fragments." +</p> +<p> + "Then you must break in my arms," he murmured back softly, drawing + her into his embrace, "so that I shall not lose even one of them." +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + In the morning a flood of sunlight rushing into the room through + the open windows, bringing with it the gay chatter of birds, roused + the lovers. Hamilton opened his eyes first, and, lifting his head + from the pillow, looked down upon Saidie still asleep beside him. + In the rich mellow light of the room her loveliness glowed under + his eyes like a jewel held in the sun. He hardly drew his breath, + looking down upon her. Her heavy hair, full of deep purplish + shades, and with the wave in it not unusual in the Asiatic, was + pushed off the pale, pure bronze of the forehead, on which were + drawn so perfectly the long-sweeping Oriental brows. The nose, + delicately straight, with its proud high-arched nostrils, and the + tiny upper lip, led the eye on to the finely-carved Eastern mouth, + of which the lips now were softly, firmly folded in repose. How + exquisitely Nature had fashioned those lips, putting more elaborate + work in those lines and curves of that one feature than in the + whole of an ordinary English face. Hamilton hung over her, filled + with a passion of tenderness, watching the gentle breath move + softly the warm column of bronze throat and raise the soft, full + breast. +</p> +<p> + Passion, in its highest phase, is indeed the supreme gift of the + gods. In giving it to a mortal for once they forget their envy: for + once they raise him to their level; for that once they grant him + divinity. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton now marvelled at himself. The whole fruit of his forty + years of life—all that accomplished work, success, wealth, + rewarded worth, satisfied ambition, all the pleasures his youth, + his health and strength, and powers had always brought him, crushed + together—could not equal this: the charm and ecstasy with which he + gazed down on this warm beauty of the flesh beside him. +</p> +<p> + And yet he knew that it was not really in that flesh, not even in + that beauty, that lay the delight. It was in himself, in his own + intense desire, and the gratification of it, that the joy had + birth; and if the gods give not this desire, no matter what else + they give, it is useless. +</p> +<p> + The girl might have been as lovely, Hamilton himself, and all the + circumstances the same, yet waking thus he might have been but the + ordinary poor, cold, clay-like mortal a man usually is. But the + great desire for this beauty that had flamed up within him, now in + its possession, gave him that fervour and fire, those wings to his + soul, that seemed to make him divine. It was for him one of those + moments for which men live a life-time, as he indeed had done, but + they repay him when they come. To some, they come never. To these + life must indeed be dark. +</p> +<p> + Suddenly the girl opened her eyes; the fire in his bent upon her + seemed to electrify and thrill her into life, and with a little + murmur of delight she stretched up her rounded arms to him. +</p> +<p> + At breakfast Hamilton regretted he should have to leave her all + day; what would she do? +</p> +<p> + "You must not think of it, Sahib," she answered. "Have I not the + garden? I shall be quite happy. I shall sing all day long to the + flowers about my lord, and count the minutes till he comes back." +</p> +<p> + The office did not attract Hamilton at all that day, yet he felt it + was better to attend there as usual, to make no break in his usual + routine. +</p> +<p> + Scandal there was sure to be, sooner or later, about his + desert-bungalow, but at least it was better not to give to the + scandal-mongers the power to say he had neglected his duties. Yet + he lingered over his departure, and took her many times into his + arms to kiss her before he went, keeping his impatient Arab waiting + at the door. He would not use the camel again this morning, but + left it resting in its corner of the compound beneath the palms. +</p> +<p> + After Hamilton had gone, Saidie stepped through the long window + into the verandah, full of green light, completely shaded as it was + by the giant convolvulus that spread all over it. The chetai + crushed softly under her feet, and she went on slowly to the end + where it opened to the compound. Here she stood for a moment gazing + into the wilderness of beauty of mingled sun and shade before her. +</p> +<p> + Against the dazzling blue of the sky the branches of the palms + stood out in gleaming gold, throwing their light shade over the + masses of crimson and white and yellow roses that rioted together + beneath. Groves of the feathery bamboo drooped their delicate + stems in the fervent, sweet-scented heat, over the white, + thick-lipped lilies, from one to other of which passed languidly + on velvet wings great purple butterflies. +</p> +<p> + The pomegranate trees made a fine parade of their small, exquisite + scarlet flowers, and pushed them upwards into the sparkling + sunlight through the veils of white starry blossoms of the + jessamine that climbed over and trailed from every tree in the + compound. +</p> +<p> + The girl went forward dreaming. How completely, superbly happy she + was! And she had nothing but the gifts of Nature, such as she, the + kindly one, gives to the gay bird swinging on the bough, the + butterfly on the flower, the deer springing on the hills: health + and youth, beauty and love. +</p> +<p> + These only were hers; nothing that man ordinarily strives + for—neither wealth nor fame, fine houses, costly garments, jewels, + slaves, power; none of these were hers. Over her body hung simply a + muslin tunic worth a few annas; of the garden in which she stood + not a flower belonged to her, no weight of jewels lay on her happy + heart. She had no name; she was only a dancing-girl from the + Deccan. With the animals she shared that wonderful kingdom of joy + that they possess: their food and mate secured, their vigorous + health bounding in their limbs, their beauty radiant in their + perfect bodies. +</p> +<p> + Are they not the Lords of Creation in the sense that they are lords + of joy? Man is the slave of the earth, doomed by his own vile lusts + to bondage of the most dismal kind. All of those gifts that Nature + gives, and from which alone can be drawn happiness, he tramples + beneath his feet, putting his neck under the yoke of ceaseless + toil, striving for things which in the end bring neither peace nor + joy. +</p> +<p> + All within the compound under the reign of Nature rejoiced. The + parroquets swung on the trees, and the butterflies floated from the + marble whiteness of the lily's cloisters to the deep, warm recesses + of the rose, and the dancing-girl walked singing through the + sparkling, scented air thinking of her lord. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton, speeding down the dusty, burning road to his office in + the native city, felt a strange bounding of his heart as his + thoughts clung to the low, white bungalow amongst the palms + outside the station, and all that it held for him. +</p> +<p> + He went through his work that day with a wonderful energy, born of + the new life within him. Nothing fatigued, nothing worried him. The + court-house air did not oppress him. He heard the pleadings and + made his decisions with ease and promptitude. His patience, + gentleness, his clearness and force of brain were wonderful. The + whole electricity of his body was satisfied: the man was perfectly + well and perfectly happy. Who cannot work under such conditions? In + the evening his horse was brought round, and with a wild leaping of + the heart he swung himself into the saddle. The animal felt + instantly the elation of his master, and at once broke into a + canter; as this was not checked, he threw up his lovely head, and + as Hamilton turned across the plain, let himself go in a long + gallop towards where the palms glowed living gold against the + rose-hued sky. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton had hardly passed through the white chick into the + interior of the house before he heard the sound of bare feet upon + the matting, and through the soft magnolia-scented, pinky gloom of + the room, shaded from the sunset light, Saidie came and fell at his + knees, taking his dusty hands and kissing them. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton lifted her up, and held her a little from him, that he + might feast his eyes on the delicate beautiful carving of the lips, + and on the great velvet eyes, soft, round throat, and breasts + swelling so warmly lovely under the transparent gauze. +</p> +<p> + Then he crushed her up in his arms close to his breast, and carried + her to their own room with the golden and green chicks all round + it, where the servants did not come without a summons. The garland + she had twisted on her head smelt sweetly of roses, and the masses + of her silky hair of sandal-wood; her soft lips, that knew so well + instinctively the art of kissing, were on his; the warm, tender + arms clasped his neck. All the way that he carried her she murmured + little words of passion in his ear. +</p> +<p> + After dinner the servants carried chairs for them into the + verandah, with a small table laden with drinks and sweetmeats, that + they might sit and watch the moon rising behind the palms in the + compound, and see the hot silver light pour slowly through their + exquisite branches and foliage. +</p> +<p> + "How did you amuse yourself all day?" he asked her as she sat on + his knee, his arm round the flexible, supple waist pulsating under + the silky web of her tunic. +</p> +<p> + "I was so happy. I had so much to do, so much to think of," she + answered, gazing back into his eyes bent upon her, and eagerly + drawing in their fire. "I wandered in the compound and made garland + after garland, then I sang to my rabab and practised my dancing. In + the heat I went in and slept on my lord's bed dreaming of him—ah! + how I dreamt of him!" She broke off sighing, and those sighs fanned + the blazing fires in the man's veins. +</p> +<p> + "You were quite contented, then, with your day?" +</p> +<p> + "How could I not be contented when I had my lord to think about, + his love of last night, his love of the coming night?" +</p> +<p> + Hamilton sighed and smiled at the same time. +</p> +<p> + "English wives need more than that to make them content," he + answered. +</p> +<p> + "English wives," repeated Saidie, with her laugh like the sound of + a golden bell; "what do they know of love?" +</p> +<p> + "Not much certainly, I think," replied Hamilton. +</p> +<p> + For a moment the vision of a thin blonde face, with its expression + of sour discontent, rose before him. What had he not given that + woman—what had she not demanded? Extravagant clothes to deck out + her tall lean body, a carriage to drive her here and there, a + mansion to live in, all the money he could gain by constant + work—these things she demanded because she was his wife, and he + had given them, and yet she was always discontented, simply because + she was one of those women who do not know desire nor the delight + of it. This one had nothing but that divine gift, and it made all + her life joy. +</p> +<p> + "Dance for me now in the cool," murmured Hamilton in the little + fine curved ear with the rose-bud just over it. +</p> +<p> + Saidie slipped off his knee, and fastening the little gilt link at + her neck more securely, drew her soft filmy garment more closely to + her, and commenced to dance before him in the screened verandah, + with the hot moonlight, filtered through the delicate tracery; of + innumerable leaves falling on her smooth, warm-tinted body. +</p> +<p> + To please him, to please him, her lord, her owner, her king: it was + the one passion in her thoughts, and it flowed through every limb + and muscle, glowed in her eyes, quivered on her parted lips, and + made each movement a miracle of sweet sinuous grace. +</p> +<p> + The soft, hot night passed minute by minute, the scents of a + thousand flowers mingled together in the still violet air. Some + white night-moths came and fluttered round the exquisite form on + whose rounded contours the light played so softly, and Hamilton lay + back in his chair, silent, absorbed, hardly drawing his breath + through his lungs, shaken by the nervous beating of his heart. + Motionless he lay there, almost breathless, for the wine of life + was in all his veins, mounting to his head, intoxicating him. +</p> +<p> + "I am very tired; may I stop now?" came at last in a low murmur + from the curved lips so sweetly smiling at him, and the whole soft + body drooped like a flower with fatigue. Hamilton opened his arms + wide. She saw how the fresh colour glowed in the handsome cheek, + how his splendid neck swelled as the red deer's in November, how + the dark eyes blazed upon her. +</p> +<p> + "Come to me," he commanded, and she flew to his arms as the + love-bird flies upward to her mate in the pomegranate tree. +</p> +<a name="2HCH0003"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h3> + CHAPTER III +</h3> +<p> + For three months Hamilton and Saidie lived in the white bungalow in + the palms, and drank of the wine of life together, and were happy + in the overwhelming intoxication it gives. +</p> +<p> + For three months Saidie lived there, never going beyond the + precincts of the house and the palace of flowers that was the + compound. +</p> +<p> + Why should she leave them? What had she to gain by going out into + the dusty way? What had she to seek? Her garden of Eden, her + Paradise, was here. She was too wise to go beyond its limits. +</p> +<p> + Pedlars and merchants of all sorts brought their best and richest + wares to her, and Hamilton sat by her in the verandah, commanding + her to buy all that pleased her, though she protested she needed + nothing. +</p> +<p> + Jewels for her neck, and gold anklets and bracelets, and robes and + sweetmeats were laid out before her. Only the best of the bazaar + was brought, and of this again only the best was chosen. And when + Hamilton was not there she walked from room to room singing, + clothed in purple silken gauze, with his jewels blazing on her + breast, his kisses still burning on her lips. Then she would take + her rabab and play to the listening flowers, or practise her + dancing, the source of his pleasure, or lie in the noonday heat on + the edge of the bubbling spring that rose up in the moss under the + boughain-villia and look towards the East and dream of his + home-coming. What did she want more? +</p> +<p> + Hamilton now lived the enchanted life of one who is wholly absorbed + in a secret passion. He was wise—more wise than men generally + are—and made no effort to parade his treasure. This wonderful + exotic, this flower of happiness, that bloomed so vividly in the + dark, secluded recesses of his heart, how did he know that the + destructive heat and light of publicity might not fade and sear + its marvellous petals? He told no one of his life; took no one out + into the desert with him, to the bungalow among the palms. +</p> +<p> + He was away a great deal. His work and certain social duties + claimed a large part of his day, and during all that time he had to + leave her alone with her flowers, but this gave him no anxiety. It + was not a dangerous experiment, as it always is to leave a European + woman alone. He knew that Saidie, the Oriental, would spend the + whole time dreaming of him, longing for him, singing to the flowers + of him, talking to her women-attendants of him, filling the whole + garden and house with his image till the longed-for moment of his + return. +</p> +<p> + And to Hamilton, full of unspoiled life and vigour, this security, + this certainty of her complete fidelity was a wondrous charm. +</p> +<p> + Unlike a man of jaded passions, who requires his love to be + constantly stimulated by the fear of imminent loss, Hamilton, full + of unused strength, and thirsty after the joy of life, now that the + cup was offered him, drank of it naturally and with ecstasy, + needing no salt and bitter olives of jealousy between the + draughts. +</p> +<p> + For years he had longed for love and happiness: at last he had + found both, and with simple, uncavilling thankfulness he clasped + them to his breast and held them there, content. +</p> +<p> + Saturday and Sunday were their great days. Hamilton left the office + at two on Saturday afternoon, and was back at the bungalow by five. +</p> +<p> + They went to bed early that night, and rose on the Sunday morning + with the first glimmer of dawn. Everything would be prepared + overnight for a day's excursion and picnic in the desert, which + Saidie particularly delighted in. +</p> +<p> + The great brown camel, fat and sleek like all Hamilton's animals, + and with an enormous weight of rich hair on his supple neck, would + be kneeling waiting for them below in the dewy compound, while the + early tender light stole softly through the palms; and they would + mount and go swinging out through the great open spaces of the + desert, full of delicate white light, towards the sister-oasis of + Dirampir, where masses of cocoanut palms grew round a set of + springs, and waved their branches joyfully as they drew in the salt + nourishment of the air from the amethystine sea not fifty miles + distant. +</p> +<p> + Into the shelter of these palms they would come as the first great + golden wave of light from the climbing sun broke over the desert, + and, descending from the camel, walk about in the groves by the + spring, and select a place for boiling their kettle and having + their breakfast. The long ride in the keen air of the morning gave + them great appetites, and they enjoyed it in the whole joyous + beauty of the scene round them. The palm branches over them grew + gold against the laughing blue of the sky, a thousand shafts of + sunlight pierced through the fan-like tracery, the golden orioles + at play darted, chasing each other from bough to bough, the spring + bubbled its cool musical notes beside them, and the sense of the + blighting heat of the ravening desert round them seemed to + accentuate the beauty of the peace and shade in the oasis. +</p> +<p> + Saidie enjoyed these days beyond everything, and would sit singing + at the foot of a palm, weaving a garland of white clematis for + Hamilton's handsome head as it rested on her lap. +</p> +<p> + No English people ever came to the oasis; as a matter of fact, the + English generally do avoid the best and most beautiful spots in or + near an Indian station; but the place was greatly beloved by the + natives who came there to doze and dream, play, sing, and weave + garlands in the usual harmless manner in which a native takes his + pleasure. Looking at them standing or sitting in their harmonious + groups against a background of golden light and delicate shade, + Hamilton often thought how well this scene compared with that of + the Britisher taking a holiday—Hampstead Heath, for instance, with + its noisy drunkenness, its spirit of hateful spite, its ill-used + animals, its loathsome language. The Oriental endeavours to enjoy + himself, and his method is generally peaceful and poetic: the + singing of songs, the weaving of garlands, and the letting alone of + others. The Briton's idea of enjoying himself is extremely simple; + it consists solely in annoying his neighbours. +</p> +<p> + To see a handsome English Sahib here was to the habitual + frequenters of the oasis something rather remarkable, but these + people are early taught the custody of the eyes and to mind their + own business. Therefore Hamilton and Saidie were not troubled by + offensive stares, or in any other way. All there were free, + gathered to enjoy themselves, each man in his own way; and the + natives in their gay colours added to the beauty, without + disturbing the peace of the scene, much as the bright-plumaged + birds that flitted from tree to tree absorbed in their own affairs. +</p> +<p> + How Hamilton enjoyed those long, calm, golden hours—the golden + hours of Asia, so full of the enchantment of rich light and colour, + soft beauty before the eyes, sweet scent of the jessamine in the + nostrils, the warbling of birds, and Saidie's love songs in his + ears! +</p> +<p> + Not till the glorious rose of the sunset diffused itself softly in + the luminous sky, and all the desert round them grew pink, and the + shadows of the palms long in the oasis, and the great planets above + them burst blazing into view into the still rose-hued sky, did they + rise from the side of the spring and begin to think of their + homeward ride. And what a delight it was that night ride home + through the majestic silence of the desert, where their own hearts' + beating and the soft footfall of the camel were the only sounds! + the wild flash of planet and star, and sometimes the soft glimmer + of the rising moon, their only light! Eros, the god of passion, + seated with them on the camel, their only companion! +</p> +<p> + To Saidie, cradled in his arms, looking upwards to his face above + her, its beauty distinct in the soft light, feeling his heart + beating against her side, it seemed as if her happiness was too + great for the human frame to bear, as if it must dissolve, melt + into nothingness, against his breast, and her spirit pass into the + great desert solitudes, dispersed, almost annihilated, in the agony + and ecstasy of love. +</p> +<p> + Week after week passed lightly by in their brilliant setting, the + hours on their winged feet danced by, and these two lived + independent of all the world, wrapped up in their own intimate joy. +</p> +<p> + One morning, just as he was about to leave the bungalow, he heard + Saidie's voice calling him back. He turned and saw her smiling + face hanging over the stair-rail above him. He remounted the + stairs, and she drew him into their room. Her face was radiant, her + eyes blazed with light as she looked at him. +</p> +<p> + "I have something to tell you, Sahib! I could not let you go + without saying it. Only think! is not Allah good to me? I am to be + the mother of the Sahib's child," and she fell on her knees, + kissing his hands in a passion of joy. Hamilton stood for the + moment silent. He was startled, unprepared for her words, unused to + the wild joy with which the Oriental woman hails a coming life. +</p> +<p> + Her message carried a certain shock to him: it augured change; and + his happiness had been so perfect, so absolute, what would change, + any change, even if wrought by the divine Hand itself, mean to him + but loss? +</p> +<p> + Saidie, terrified at his silence, looked up at him wildly. +</p> +<p> + "What have I done? Is not my lord pleased?" Her accent was one of + the acutest fear. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton bent down and raised her to his breast. +</p> +<p> + "Dearest one, light of my soul, how could I not be pleased?" and + he kissed her many times on the lips, and on the soft upper arm + that pressed his throat, and on her neck, till even she was + satisfied. +</p> +<p> + "Come and sit with me for a moment that I may tell you all," she + said. Hamilton sat beside her on the bed, and she told him many + things that an Englishwoman would never say, nor would it enter + into her mind to conceive them. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton was greatly moved as he sat listening. The wonderful + imagery, the vivid language in which she clothed her pure joyous + thoughts appealed to his own poetic, artistic habit of mind. +</p> +<p> + On his way across the desert to the city, Hamilton pondered deeply + over the news and the girl's unaffected joy. Since all those + whispered confidences poured into his ear while they sat side by + side on the bed, the throb of jealousy he had first felt at her + words had passed away. Saidie had made it so clear to him that her + joy was not so great at being the mother of a child as that she was + to be the mother of <i>his</i> child, and similarly Hamilton felt in + all his being a curious thrill at the thought that his child was + hers, that this new life was created in and of her life that had + become so infinitely dear to him. +</p> +<p> + He was glad now that his wife had refused to have a child. The + bitter pain he had felt then, those years ago, how little he had + thought it was to be the parent of this present joy. Now the woman + he loved as he had loved no other would be the one to bear his + child. Still the thought of the suffering the mother would go + through depressed his sensitive mind, and the idea of the risk to + her life that came suddenly into his brain made him turn white to + the lips as he rode in the hot sunlight. Such intense happiness as + he had known for the last three months can turn a brave man into a + coward. For a moment he faced the horrid thought that had come to + him—Saidie dead! And the whole brilliant plain, laughing sky, and + dancing sunlight and waving palms became black to him. To go back + to that dreary existence of nothingness of his former life, after + once having known the delight that this bright, eager, ardent + love, these delicate little clinging hands had made for him, would + be impossible. +</p> +<p> + "No," he murmured to himself, "if she goes, then it's a snuff out + for me too. I have never cared for life except as she has made it + for me." +</p> +<p> + And the cloud rolled off him a little as he met the idea of his own + death. Besides, Saidie had declared so positively that she could + come to no harm, that it would all be pure delight, that pain and + suffering could not exist for her in such a matter since she would + be all joy in making him this gift, that gradually he grew calmer + as he thought over her words. +</p> +<p> + "But I didn't want any change," he burst out a little later, + talking to the still golden air round him. "Confound it! I was + perfectly happy. How impossible it is to keep anything as it is in + this world! All our actions drag in upon us their consequences so + fast! There is no getting away from this horrible change, no + enjoying one's happiness peacefully when one has obtained it." +</p> +<p> + When he arrived at his office in the city he found that a far + heavier cloud had arisen on his horizon than that created by + Saidie's words. The English mail was in, and a long thin envelope, + impressed with a much-hated handwriting, faced him on the top of + the pile of his correspondence as he entered. +</p> +<p> + He picked it up and opened it. +</p> +<p class="block"> + "D<small>EAR</small> F<small>RANK</small>,—You often used to invite me to come to India, + and I have really at last made up my mind to. I am coming out + by next month's boat to stay with you for a time. I have been + very much run down in health lately, and my doctor says a + sea-voyage and six months in India will be first-rate for me. + I hope you have a nice comfortable house and good servants.<br> + —Yours affectionately, J<small>ANE</small>." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton stared at the letter savagely as he put it down before him + on the table, a sort of grim smile breaking slowly over his face. + He felt convinced that in some way his wife had learned of his + new-found happiness, and that had given birth to her sudden desire + to visit India after twenty years of persistent refusal to do so. + He sat motionless for a long time, then stretched out his hand for + an English telegraph form and wrote on it— +</p> +<p class="block"> + "Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit. F<small>RANK</small>." +</p> +<p> + He did not for one moment think that his wife would obey his + injunction, or that his wire would have the least effect on her; + but he wished to have a good ground to stand on when she arrived, + and he declined to receive her. His teeth set for a moment as he + thought of the interview. +</p> +<p> + "This is a sort of wind-up day of my happiness," he muttered, as he + took his place at the office table. "Well, I suppose no one could + expect such pleasure as I have had these last three months to + continue; but, whatever happens, Saidie and I will stick together." + He sat musing for a moment, staring with unseeing eyes at the pile + of work in front of him. +</p> +<p> + "Saidie, my Saidie! I shall never part from her; therefore I can + never part from my happiness." He smiled a little at the play on + the words, and then commenced his day's labours. +</p> +<p> + That evening, when he returned, Saidie noticed at once the + depression in his usually gay, bright manner. When they were alone + at dinner she laid her hand on his. +</p> +<p> + "What has darkened the light of my lord's countenance?" she asked + softly. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton drew from his pocket his wife's letter, and laid it beside + her plate. +</p> +<p> + "Can you read that, Saidie? If so, you will know all about it." +</p> +<p> + The girl leaned one elbow on the table and bent over the letter, + studying it. She had been trying hard to improve herself in the + language, of which she knew already something, and with Oriental + quickness, had acquired much in the past three months. She made out + the sense now easily enough. +</p> +<p> + "This lady is a wife of yours?" she said quickly, with a swift + upward glance at him, when she had finished reading the letter. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton laughed a little. +</p> +<p> + "She was my wife till I saw you, Saidie. No one is my wife now, nor + ever will be, but you." +</p> +<p> + A soft glow of supreme pleasure and pride lighted up Saidie's great + lustrous eyes. She bent her head and put her soft lips to his + hand. +</p> +<p> + "Have you forbidden this wife to come to you?" she asked after a + minute. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I have; but she will come all the same. English wives think + it foolish to obey their husbands." +</p> +<p> + He laughed sardonically, and Saidie looked bewildered and + horrified. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + A month later, a long, lean woman sat in a deck chair on board an + Indian liner as it crossed the enchanted waters of the Indian + Ocean. Enchanted, for surely it is some magician's touch that makes + these waters such a rich and glorious blue! How they roll so + gently, full of majestic beauty, crested with sunlight, under the + ships they carry so lightly! How the gold light leaps over them, + how the azure sky above laughs down to their tranquil mirror! how + the gleaming flying-fish rise in their glinting cloud, whirl over + them, and then softly disappear into their mysterious embrace! +</p> +<p> + The long, lean woman saw none of the magic round her. Her dull, + boiled-looking eyes gazed through the soft sunlight without seeing + it. In her lap lay a thin foreign letter and a telegram, together + with a copy of "Anna Lombard" that she was reading with the + strongest disapproval. She picked up the letter and glanced through + it again, though she knew it nearly by heart, especially one + passage: +</p> +<p class="block"> + "Your husband is leading such a life here! He has built a + wonderful white marble palace in the desert for an Egyptian + dancing-girl. They say it's a sort of Antony and Cleopatra + over again, and she goes about loaded with jewels and golden + chains. I don't know if you are getting your allowance + regularly, but I should think your husband is pretty well + ruining himself. I never saw a man so changed. He used to be + so melancholy, but now he is as bright as possible, and looks + so well and handsome. I hear the woman is expecting a child, + and they are both as pleased as they can be. I hear all about + it, as our cook's cousin is sister to the ayah your husband + hired for the woman, and my ayah gets it all from our cook. I + really should, my dear, come out and look into the matter, as + after a time he will probably want to stop sending home his + pay." +</p> +<p> + The thin sheet fell into the woman's lap again, and she seemed to + ponder deeply. Then she read Hamilton telegram again— +</p> +<p> + "Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit," and a disagreeable + laugh broke from her thick, colourless lips. +</p> +<p> + "I will go out and see her first," she thought, smoothing down with + a large, bony hand the folds of her rather prim white cambric + dress. She was a very stupid woman, and not a passionate one; + therefore the agony of pain of a loving, jealous wife was quite + unknown to her. But she was malignant, as such people usually are. + She loved making other people uncomfortable in a general way, and + taking away from them anything she could that they valued. She also + felt a peculiar curiosity such as those who cannot feel passion + themselves have usually about the intense happiness it gives to + others. The picture of this other woman, who had found joy + apparently in the arms she herself years ago had thrust aside, + interested her profoundly. She told herself that this Egyptian + loved Hamilton's money, but some instinct within her held her back + from believing this. +</p> +<p> + The little bit about the child went deeply into her mind. It + rested there like an arrow-head, and her thoughts grew round it. + When the ship came into port a week or two later, Mrs. Hamilton + was one of the first passengers to land, and after careful + enquiries and well-bestowed tips she was expeditiously conveyed + by ticker-gharry<a name="2"></a><a href="#note-2"><small>[2]</small></a> and sedan chair across the desert to the + bungalow at Deira. She was considerably pleased on seeing that + the white marble palace resolved itself into an ordinary white + bungalow, but the garden, was unutterably lovely, and, as she saw + in a moment, represented something quite unusual in cost and + care. +</p> +<p> + It was just high noon when she arrived, and she thankfully escaped + from the suffocating heat and glare of the desert into the cool + shaded hall, and gave her card with a throb of spiteful elation to + the butler. +</p> +<p> + The Oriental servant read the name, and hurried with the card to + his mistress's room. On hearing of the arrival of the Mem-Sahib, + Saidie descended from the upper room, where she had been lying in + the noonday heat, and, pushing aside the great golden chick that + swung before the drawing-room entrance, went in. +</p> +<p> + Her dress was of the most exquisite Indian muslin that Hamilton + could obtain, heavily and wonderfully embroidered in gold, and + peacocks' eyes of vivid deep blue and green; her feet were bare, + for Hamilton, in his revolt from English ways, had kept up Oriental + traditions as far as possible in the clothing of his new mistress, + and weighty anklets of solid gold gleamed beneath the border of her + skirt. Round the perfect column of her neck, full and stately as + the red deer's, were twisted great strings of pearls, throwing + their pale irridescent greenish hue onto the velvet skin. Above the + splendour of her dress rose the regal and lovely face, its delicate + carving and the marvel of its dark, flashing, enquiring eyes + vividly striking in the clear mellow light of the room. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Hamilton, dressed in a plain, grey alpaca dress, rather hot + and dusty after her long drive, sat on one of the low divans + awaiting her. As Saidie entered, the glory of her youth and beauty + struck upon the seated woman like a heavy blow, under which she + started to her feet and stood for a second, involuntarily + shrinking. +</p> +<p> + "Salaam, be seated," murmured Saidie, indicating a fauteuil near + the one on which she sank herself. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Hamilton came forward, her hands closing and unclosing + spasmodically in their grey silk gloves, and sat down again, her + eyes riveted on the other's face. +</p> +<p> + "Do you know who I am?" she said at last in a stifled voice. +</p> +<p> + Saidie smiled faintly; one of those liquid, lingering smiles that + made Hamilton's heaven. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I know; you are Mem Sahib Hamilton, the first, the old + wife.". +</p> +<p> + Saidie, according to her own Eastern ideas, was in the position of + a superior receiving an unfortunate inferior. She was the latest + acquired—the darling, the reigning queen—confronted with the poor + cast-off, old, unattractive first wife; and being of a nature + equally noble as the type of her beauty, she felt it incumbent on + her, in such a situation, to treat the unfortunate with every + consideration, gentleness, and tenderness. +</p> +<p> + The British matron's views of the relative positions of first and + subsequent wives differs, however, from Saidie's, and Mrs. + Hamilton's face grew purple as she heard Saidie's answer, and some + faint comprehension of Saidie's view was borne in upon her. +</p> +<p> + "Where is my husband?" she demanded fiercely. +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib is in the city to-day," returned Saidie calmly. How + odious they were, these Englishwomen, with their short skirts and + big boots, and red, hot faces, with great black straw houses over + them, and their curt manners, and the impertinent way they spoke of + their lords! +</p> +<p> + "When will he be back?" pursued the other, sharply. +</p> +<p> + Saidie glanced towards the clock. +</p> +<p> + "In a few hours; perhaps more. He returns at sunset." +</p> +<p> + "And what do you do all day, shut up by yourself?" questioned her + visitor, with a sort of contemptuous surprise. +</p> +<p> + "I think of him," returned Saidie, quite simply, with a sort of + proud pleasure that made the Englishwoman stare incredulously. +</p> +<p> + "Silly little fool!" she ejaculated, with a harsh, disdainful + laugh. +</p> +<p> + "Does he give you all those things, and dress you up like that?" + she added, staring at the pearls on Saidie's neck. +</p> +<p> + "He has given me everything I have," she replied, seriously. +</p> +<p> + That Hamilton was wasting his substance on another went home far + more keenly to his lawful wife than that he was wasting his love on + the same. She got up, and went close to the girl, with a face of + fury. +</p> +<p> + "They are all mine! I should like to drag them off you! Do you + understand that an Englishman's money belongs to his wife, and <i>I</i> + am his wife? You! What are you? He belongs to me, and, whatever you + may think, I can take him from you. By our laws he must come back + to me." +</p> +<p> + Saidie rose and faced the angry woman unmoved. +</p> +<p> + "No law on earth can make a man stay with a woman he does not + love," she said calmly, "nor take him from one he does. You must + know little, or you would know that love is stronger than all law. + I give you leave to withdraw. Salaam." +</p> +<p> + And she herself moved slowly backwards towards the hanging chick, + passed through it, and was gone, leaving the Englishwoman alone in + the room. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + Three hours later Hamilton, sitting in his own private office, + surrounded with papers, started suddenly as he heard a well-known + and hated voice say, outside the door. +</p> +<p> + "Thanks, I'll go in myself." +</p> +<p> + The next minute the door had opened and his wife stood before him. + He sat in silence, regarding her. +</p> +<p> + "Well, Frank, I suppose you were expecting me? You saw the boat + came in, doubtless. You don't look particularly pleased to see me!" +</p> +<p> + There was only one chair in the room, and Hamilton remained seated. + His wife stood in front of him. +</p> +<p> + "I do not know of any reason why I should be pleased, do you?" he + said calmly, gazing at her with eyes full of concentrated + hostility. +</p> +<p> + "No, considering you've got that black woman up at your house, I + don't suppose you do want your wife back very badly; but I've come + to stay, my dear fellow, some time, so you've got to make the best + of it." +</p> +<p> + "You will not stay with me," returned Hamilton quietly. His face + was very white, his eyes had become black as they looked at her. + One hand played idly with a paper-knife on his table. +</p> +<p> + "And a nice scandal there'll be when I go to stay at the hotel + here, and it's known I'm your wife, and you are living out in the + desert with a woman from the bazaar!" +</p> +<p> + "The fear of scandal has long since ceased to regulate my life," + answered Hamilton calmly. "Be good enough to make your interview + short; I have a great deal of work to-day." +</p> +<p> + "You are a devil!" replied the woman, white, too, now with impotent + rage, "to desert your own wife for that filthy native woman. I—" +</p> +<p> + But Hamilton had sprung to his feet; his face was blazing; he + seized his wife's wrists in both hands. +</p> +<p> + "Be quiet," he said, in a low tone of such fury that she cowered + beneath it. "One word more and I shall <i>kill</i> you; do you + understand?" +</p> +<p> + Then he raised one hand and brought it down on his gong. Instantly + two stalwart, bronze giants, his chuprassis, entered the room and + stood by the door. +</p> +<p> + "Take this woman out, and keep her out," he said to them. "Never + let her in again. She annoys me." +</p> +<p> + The chuprassis put their hands to their foreheads, and then + impassively approached the Englishwoman. She looked at her husband + wildly as they took her arms. +</p> +<p> + "Frank! you will not surely—" she expostulated. "Your own wife!" + and she struggled to release her arms. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton waved his hand, and the natives forced her to the door. + For a moment she seemed inclined to scream and struggle. Then her + face changed. A look of intense malevolence came over it. She + walked between the men quietly to the door. As she passed through + it, she looked back. +</p> +<p> + "You and she shall regret this," she said. Then the door shut, and + Hamilton was alone. +</p> +<p> + He sat down, collapsed in his chair. Oh, how could he free himself + from this millstone at his neck? What relief could he gain + anywhere? To what power appeal? He could keep her out of his house, + out of his office, but not out of his life. She had come here with + the deliberate intention of wrecking that, and she would succeed + probably, for she would have the blind, hideous force of + conventional morality on her side. She would destroy his life—that + life till lately so valueless to him; that dreary stretch made + barren so many years by her hateful influence, but which, in spite + of it, at Saidie's touch, had now bloomed into a garden of flowers. + The thought of Saidie strengthened him. It was true that his wife + would probably succeed in breaking up his life here from the + conventional and social point of view, and he would be obliged most + likely to give up his appointment; but he had a small independent + income, and on that he and Saidie could still live together. They + would go to Ceylon or to Malabar. Perhaps also he could make money + otherwise than officially. Wherever he went his wife would probably + pursue him, intent on making his life a misery. Still, Fortune + might favour him; he and Saidie might in time reach some corner of + the world where their remorseless tracker would lose trace of them. + Perhaps to go to England at once and obtain a legal separation + would be the best plan, but then it was winter in England now, and + he could not with advantage take Saidie to England in winter, for + fear his exotic Eastern flower would fade in the northern winds. +</p> +<p> + His thoughts wandered from point to point, and the minutes passed + unheeded. His papers lay untouched, scattered on the floor. The + chuprassi brought in from time to time a note, laid it on the table + and withdrew. Hamilton noticed nothing; he sat still, thinking. +</p> +<p> + Meanwhile Mrs. Hamilton had been driven to the hotel, where she + engaged very modest quarters and ordered luncheon. While waiting + for this she went out into the balcony before her windows, and + looked with gloomy eyes into the sunny, laughing splendour of the + Eastern afternoon. At the side of the hotel was a luxuriant garden, + and the palms and sycamores growing there threw a light shade into + the sunny street just below her window; the sky overhead stretched + its eternal Eastern blue, and the pigeons wheeled joyfully in and + out the eaves in the clear sparkling air, or descended to the pools + in the garden to bathe, with incessant cooing. Up and down the + road passed the white bullocks with their laden carts, and the + gaily-dressed Turkish sweet-meat sellers went by crooning out songs + descriptive of their wares, pausing under the shade of the garden + to look up at the English Mem-Sahib in the balcony. She leant her + arms on the rail, and looked out on the gay scene with unseeing + eyes. "Beast!" she muttered at intervals, and her hard-lined face + crimsoned and paled by turns. +</p> +<p> + When her luncheon came in she returned to the room, took off her + hat and looked in the glass. The narrow, selfish, petty emotions of + twenty years were written all over her face in deep, hideous lines. + The mass of yellow hair, newly-dyed, looked glaringly youthful and + incongruous above it. +</p> +<p> + Burning with a sense of malevolent discontent and misery, she + turned from the glass and hurried through her luncheon, then + ordered it to be cleared away and writing materials to be brought + in, and set herself with grim feverishness to the concoction of a + long letter to the Commissioner. In it Hamilton's twenty years of + patient fidelity, through which time he had regularly transmitted + to her half his pay year by year were naturally not mentioned; her + own refusal to live with him, her incessant demands for more money, + her extravagance, her long, whining letters to him, her debts, her + own life in town were, of course, also suppressed. In the letter + she figured as the ardent, tender, anxious wife, arriving to find + her abandoned husband wasting his substance on a black mistress. + The visit to the cruel tyrant in his office was long dwelt on, and + the whole closed with a pathetic appeal to the Commissioner to use + his influence to restore her dearest boy to her arms. It was not a + bad letter from the artist's and the liar's standpoint, and she + read it through with a glow of satisfaction, sealed it up with a + baleful smile of triumph, and then sounded the gong. +</p> +<p> + "Take this at once to the Commissioner Sahib," she said, handing + the note to the servant, "and let me have some tea; also you can + order me a carriage. I shall want to drive afterwards." +</p> +<p> + When the tea came, she thoroughly enjoyed it after her virtuous + labours, and in the cool of the evening drove out to see the city. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + That evening at dinner, seated at their table, laden with flowers, + with the light from the heavy Burmese silver lamps falling on her + lovely glowing face, and round bangle-laden arms, Saidie told + Hamilton of the visit of the white Mem-Sahib. His face darkened and + his lips set. +</p> +<p> + "So she came here, did she? Did she frighten you? attempt to hurt + you?" +</p> +<p> + "Oh, no," returned Saidie; "not at all. Naturally she is very hurt, + very sorry; no wonder she longs after the Sahib, and wishes to be + taken back to his harem. I was very sorry for her. It is quite + natural she should be jealous, of course," and Saidie rested one + soft, silken skinned elbow on the table and leaned across the + flowers, and her half-filled wine-glass, looking with tender liquid + eyes earnestly at the face of her lord. +</p> +<p> + "The Sahib is so wonderful, so beautiful, so far above other men," + she murmured, gazing upon him. "It is no wonder she is unhappy." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton smiled a little, looking back at her. He had indeed a + singularly handsome face, with its straight, noble features and + warm colour, and as he smiled the breast of the Eastern girl + heaved; her heart seemed to rush out to him. +</p> +<p> + "Ah, Saidie! you do not understand English wives," he said gently, + with a curious melancholy in his voice. "Love and worship such as + you give me they think shameful and shocking. To love a man for + himself, for his face, for his body is degrading. They are so pure, + they love him only for his purse. They tell him to take his passion + to dancing-girls like you. They hate to bear him children. They + like to live in his house, be clothed at his expense, ride in his + carriage, but they care little to sleep in his arms." +</p> +<p> + Saidie regarded him steadfastly, with eyes ever growing wider as + she listened. +</p> +<p> + "I do not understand ..." she murmured at last, clasping both soft, + supple hands across her breast, as if trying to mould herself into + this new belief; "it is so hard to comprehend.... Surely it must + be right to love one's lord, to bear him sons, to please him, to + make him happy every hour, every minute of the day and night." +</p> +<p> + "Right?" returned Hamilton passionately, getting up from his seat + and coming over to her. "Of course it is right! love such as yours + is a divine gift to man, straight from the hands of God." He leaned + his burning hands heavily on the delicately-moulded shoulders, + looking down into her upturned face. How exquisite it was! its fine + straight nose, its marvellously-carved mouth and short upper lip, + its round, full chin, and midnight eyes beneath their great + arching, sweeping brows! +</p> +<p> + "That woman is a fiend, one of the unnatural creatures our wretched + European civilisation has made only to destroy the lives of men. + Don't let us speak of her! never let us think of her! She is + nothing to me. You are my world, my all. If she drives us away from + here, there are other parts of the world for us. Separate us she + never shall. Come! why should we waste our time even mentioning her + name. Come with me into our garden. Darling! darling!" +</p> +<p> + He stooped over her, and on her lips pressed those kisses so long + refused, uncared for by one woman, so priceless to this one, and + almost lifted Saidie from the chair. She laughed the sweet low + laughter of the Oriental woman, and went with him eagerly towards + the verandah, and out into the compound where the roses slept in + the warm silver light. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + For two days nothing happened. Hamilton went as usual to his office + for the day. At four he left, and, mounting his camel, went into + the desert to the oasis in the palms. +</p> +<p> + On the third day he received a summons from the Commissioner, and + went up to his house in the afternoon. His heart seethed with rage + within him, but except for an unusual pallor in the clear warm + skin, his face showed nothing as he entered the large, imposing + drawing-room. +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner was a short, pompous little man, rather + overshadowed by his grim raw-boned wife, and had under her strict + guidance and training developed a stern admiration for conventional + virtue, particularly in regard to conjugal relations. He rose and + bowed as Hamilton entered, but did not offer to shake hands. + Hamilton waited, erect, silent. +</p> +<p> + "Sit down, Mr. Hamilton." Hamilton sat down. "Er—I—ah—have + received what I may term a painful—yes, a very painful + communication, and er—I may say at once it refers to you and your + concerns in a most distressing manner—most distressing." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner coughed and waited. Hamilton remained silent. The + Commissioner fidgeted, crossed his knees, uncrossed them again, + then turned on him suddenly. The Indian climate is trying to the + temper; it means many pegs, and small control of the passions. +</p> +<p> + "Damn you, sir!" he broke out fiercely. "What the devil do you mean + by keeping a black woman in your house, and sending your wife to + the hotel here?" +</p> +<p> + He was purple and furious; in his hand he crushed Mrs. Hamilton's + beautiful composition. +</p> +<p> + "She tells me you called in natives to throw her out of your + office: it's disgraceful! Upon my word it is; it's scandalous! And + you sent her to the hotel! I never heard of such a thing!" +</p> +<p> + "Mrs. Hamilton came out uninvited, in defiance of my express + wishes, and on her arrival I told her she could not stay with me," + returned Hamilton quietly. "Whether she went to the hotel or not, I + don't know." +</p> +<p> + "But your wife, damn it all, your wife, has a right to stay with + you if she chooses; naturally she would come to you, and you can't + turn her out in this way." +</p> +<p> + "She has long ago forfeited all rights as my wife," replied + Hamilton calmly, in a low tone, with so much weight in it that the + Commissioner looked at him keenly. +</p> +<p> + "Why don't you get a divorce or a separation then?" he asked + abruptly. "Do the thing decently—not have her out like this, and + make a scandal all over the station." +</p> +<p> + "I know of no grounds for a divorce," returned Hamilton. "There are + many ways of breaking the marriage vows other than infidelity. I + married Mrs. Hamilton twenty years ago, and for those twenty years + she has practically refused to live with me. For twenty years I + have remitted half my income to her every year. During that time I + have many times asked her to join me here, sought a reconciliation + always to be refused. Recently I found another interest; the moment + my wife discovered this, she came out with the sole purpose of + annoying me. I have come to the conclusion that twenty years' + fidelity to a woman without reward is enough. I shall not alter my + life now to suit Mrs. Hamilton." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner was silent. He was quite sure Hamilton was + speaking the truth, and in reality, in the absence of Mrs. + Commissioner, he felt all his sympathies go with him. But his + wife's careful training and his official position put other words + than his mind dictated into his mouth. +</p> +<p> + "Well, well," he said at last, "we can't go into all that. You and + your wife must arrange your matters somehow between you. But there + can't be a scandal like this going on. You, a married man, living + with a native woman, and your wife out here at the hotel! Something + must be done to make things look all right—must be done," and he + knitted his brows, looking crossly at Hamilton from under them. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton shrugged his shoulders. +</p> +<p> + "You'd better give up this native woman," snapped the + Commissioner. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton smiled. His was such an expressive face, it told more + clearly the feelings than most impassive English faces, and there + was that in the smile that held the Commissioner's gaze; and the + two men sat staring at each other in silence. +</p> +<p> + After some moments the Commissioner spoke again but his tone was + different. +</p> +<p> + "Hamilton, you know we all have to make sacrifices to our official + position, to public opinion, to social usage. Ah! what a Moloch + that is that we've created, it devours our best. Yes ... a Moloch!" + he muttered half to himself, gazing on the floor. +</p> +<p> + "Still, it's there, and we all suffer equally in turn. I know what + it is myself. I have been through it all." He stopped, gazing + fixedly at the beautiful crimson roses in the pattern of his Wilton + carpet. What visions swept before him of gleaming eyes and sweeping + brows, ruthlessly blotted out by a large, raw-boned figure and face + of aggressive chastity. "I am sorry for you, but there it is; + whatever the rights of the case, you can't make a scandal like + this." +</p> +<p> + "I am ready to resign my post if necessary," returned Hamilton; "I + have enough to live on without my pay." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner started, and looked at him. +</p> +<p> + "Is she so handsome as that?" he asked in a low tone, leaning a + little forward. Mrs. Commissioner was not there, and he was + forgetting officialdom. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton hesitated a moment. Then he drew from his pocket a + photograph, taken by himself, of Saidie standing amongst her + flowers. +</p> +<p> + The beautiful Eastern face, the lovely, youthful, sinuous figure, + veiled in its slight, transparent drapery, taken by an artist and a + lover in the clear, actinic Indian light, made an exquisite work of + art. It lay in the hand of the Commissioner, and he gazed on it, + remembering his long-past youth. +</p> +<p> + After a long time Hamilton broke the silence. +</p> +<p> + "Now, you know," he said at last, "why I am ready to resign my post + rather than resign <i>that</i>; and it is not only her beauty that + charms me, it is her devotion, her love.... Do you know, white or + black, superior or inferior, these two women are not to be + mentioned in one breath. The one you see there is a woman, the + other is a fiend." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner tried to look shocked, but failed; the smooth card + still lay in his hand, the lovely image impressed on it smiled up + at him. +</p> +<p> + "I don't know but what you are right," he muttered savagely as he + handed it back to Hamilton. "These wives, damn 'em, seem to have no + other mission but to make a man uncomfortable." +</p> +<p> + He got up and began to pace the room. He seemed to have forgotten + Hamilton and the official <i>rôle</i> he himself had started to play. He + seemed absorbed in his own thoughts—perhaps memories. Hamilton sat + still, gazing at the card. +</p> +<p> + Half-an-hour later the interview came to an end. Hamilton went away + to his office with a light heart, and a smile on his lips. The + Commissioner had given him some of his own reminiscences, and + Hamilton had sympathised. The two men had drifted insensibly onto + common ground, and the Commissioner finally had promised to help + Hamilton as far as he could. Hamilton was pleased. That he had + merely been twisting a piece of straw, that would be bent into + quite another shape when Mrs. Commissioner took it in hand, did not + for the moment occur to him. That night Saidie danced for him in + the moonlight, and afterwards ran from him swiftly, playing at + hide-and-seek amongst the roses laughing, inviting his pursuit. In + and out behind the great clumps of boughain-villia gleamed the + lovely form, with hair unbound falling like a mantle to the waist. + Through the pomegranate bushes the laughing face looked out at him, + then swiftly vanished as he approached, and next a laugh and a + flash of warm skin drew him to the bed of lilies where he overtook + her, and they fell laughing on the mossy bank together. Wearied + with dancing and running and laughter, she sank into his arms + gladly, as Eve in the garden of Eden. +</p> +<p> + "Let us sleep here," she murmured, looking up to the palm branches + over them defined against the lustrous sky. +</p> +<p> + "See how the lilies sleep round us!" +</p> +<p> + And that night they slept out in the moonlight. +</p> +<br> +<a name="note-2"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<a href="#2"><u>2</u></a>. Hired carriage. +</p> + +<a name="2HCH0004"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h3> + CHAPTER IV +</h3> +<p> + A month had gone by, and during that month, except for the time he + was with Saidie in the bungalow, Hamilton, had he been less of a + philosopher, would have been extremely uncomfortable. +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner's wife had completely and entirely espoused the + cause of Mrs. Hamilton, and had insisted on her leaving the hotel + and coming to stay with her. Everywhere that the Commissioner's + wife went, riding or driving, Mrs. Hamilton accompanied her; and + whenever he met the two women, his wife threw him a mild, + reproachful glance of martyred virtue, while the Commissioner's + wife glared upon him in stony wrath. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton took no notice of either glance, but passed them as if + neither existed. The Commissioner looked miserably guilty whenever + he encountered Hamilton's amused, penetrating eyes, and avoided + him as much as possible. The Commissioner's house was completely + shut to him; he never approached it now except on official + business, and nearly every house in the station followed its + example. The story of Mrs. Hamilton's woes and wrongs had spread + all over the community, and proved a theme of delightful and + never-ending interest to all the ladies of the station. They were + unanimous in supporting her. Not one voice was raised in favour of + Hamilton. He was a monster, a heartless libertine, given over to + all sorts of terrible vices. Tales of the fearful doings in the + desert bungalow, where Hamilton and Saidie lived the gay, bright, + joyous life of two human beings, happily mated, as Nature intended + all things to be, spread over the station, and the stony stare of + the women upon Hamilton, when they met him, mingled insensibly with + a shrinking horror that greatly amused him. +</p> +<p> + Nobody spoke to him except in his business capacity. Every one + avoided him. He was practically ostracised. Mrs. Hamilton, on the + other hand, went everywhere, and thoroughly enjoyed herself in the + <i>rôle</i> of gentle forgiving martyr that she played to perfection. + Being plain and unattractive to men, she was thoroughly popular + with the women, and they were never tired of condoling with her on + having such a brute of a husband. What more natural, poor dear! + than that she should refuse to live with him in India, if the + climate did not suit her? So unreasonable of him to expect it! The + question of a family, too! why, what woman was there now who did + not hate to have her figure spoiled, and object to be always in the + sick-room and nursery? So natural that she did not wish those + disagreeable passionate relationships: a man could not expect that + sort of thing from his wife! And then the money, too! she had never + had more than half his income all these twenty years! It seemed to + them that she had been wonderfully good and resigned. +</p> +<p> + Such was the talk at the afternoon teas, and the married men at the + club, coached by their wives, and being in the position of the fox + who had lost his brush, and wished no other fox to retain his, + condemned Hamilton quite as freely. +</p> +<p> + "It was beastly rough on his wife," they agreed, "to set up a + black dancing-girl under her eyes." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton cared not at all for the social life of the station, and + was greatly relieved by not having invitations to give or to + answer. All that he regretted was the ultimate resignation of his + post, which, he foresaw, would be the result of all this scandal + sooner or later. +</p> +<p> + Saidie, with Oriental quickness, had soon grasped the whole + situation, and had flung herself at his feet in a passion of tears, + begging him to send her away or to kill her rather than let her + presence make him unhappy. Hamilton had some difficulty in turning + her mind from the resolve to kill herself by way of serving him; + and it was only his solemn oath to her that she was the one single + joy and happiness of his life, that with her in his arms he cared + about nothing else, that if he lost her his life was at an end, + which pacified and at last convinced her. +</p> +<p> + Another month went by, and Mrs. Hamilton began to tire of her + position. She felt she was not making Hamilton half unhappy enough. + She had had but one idea, and that was to separate him from Saidie, + and in this she had failed. He had not even been turned out of his + post. He had been expelled from the social life of the station; but + she knew he would not feel that, that he would only welcome the + greater leisure he had to spend in his Eden with <i>her</i>. To play the + martyr for a time had been interesting, but its pleasure was + beginning to wane; moreover, she could not stay permanently with + the Commissioner's wife. She grew restless: she must carry out her + plan somehow. When Hamilton's life was completely wrecked, she + would be ready to return to England—not till then; and she lay + awake at nights grinding her long, narrow, wolf-like teeth together + as she thought of Hamilton in the desert bungalow. +</p> +<p> + One morning, after a nearly sleepless night, she got up and looked + critically at her face in the glass. Old and haggard as usual it + looked; but to-day, in addition to age and care, a specially evil + determination sat upon it. +</p> +<p> + "Life is practically done with," she thought, looking at it. "I + have only this one thing to care about now, and I'll do it somehow + before I go. If I can't enjoy my life, he shan't enjoy his." +</p> +<p> + She turned from the glass, and commenced dressing. The evil look + deepened on her face from minute to minute, and the word "Beast!" + came at intervals through her teeth. +</p> +<p> + Outside the window of her charming room all was waking in the + joyous dawn of the East. Long shadows lay across the velvet green + slopes of the Commissioner's lawn as the sun rose behind the + majestic palms that shaded it; floods of golden light were rippling + softly over roses and stephanotis, opening bud after bud to the + azure above them; the gay call of the birds rang through the clear + morning air; the perroquets swung in ecstasy on the bamboo + branches, crying out shrill comments on each other's toilet. The + scent of a thousand blossoms rose up like some magic influence, + stealing through the sparkling sunlight into the room, and played + round the thin face of the woman within, but it could make no + message clear to her. Every sense of hers had long been sealed to + all joy by hate. +</p> +<p> + At breakfast she announced her intention of leaving India by the + following mail, and not all the kind pressure brought to bear upon + her by the Commissioner's wife could induce her to postpone her + departure. She was gentle, calm, and resigned in manner, as usual, + excessively grateful for all they had done for her, and the + kindness shown her. She spoke very sweetly of her husband, told + them how she had hoped by coming out to induce him to leave the + evil life he was leading; but she saw now that these things lay in + higher hands than hers, and she felt all she could do was to pray + and hope for him in silence. +</p> +<p> + "Why don't you divorce him?" broke in the Commissioner abruptly and + quickly, anxious to get it out before his wife could stop him. He + tugged violently at his moustache, waiting for her answer. If she + would do that, he was thinking, what a relief for that poor devil + Hamilton! +</p> +<p> + "Divorce him?" returned Mrs. Hamilton resignedly. "Never! It is a + wife's duty to submit to whatever cross Providence lays upon her, + but divorce seems to me only the resource of abandoned women." +</p> +<p> + The Commissioner's wife nodded her head in majestic approval. The + Commissioner got up abruptly, breakfast being concluded. He said + nothing, but his mental ejaculation was, "Old hag! knows she + couldn't get any one else, nor half such a handsome allowance!" +</p> +<p> + The day for Mrs. Hamilton's departure came, and on its morning + Hamilton found a note from her on his office desk. He took it up + and opened it with a feeling of repulsion. +</p> +<p class="block"> + "D<small>EAR</small> F<small>RANK</small>,—I am leaving by the noon boat for England. They + seem to have altered their time of sailing to twelve instead + of seven P.M.<br><br> + + "I am sorry my visit here has caused you trouble. Do not be + too hard on me. I am leaving now, and do not intend to worry + you again. You must lead your own life until, perhaps, some + day you wish to return to me. You will find me ready to + welcome you. Good-bye, and forgive any pain I have caused + you.—Your affectionate wife, +</p> +<p class="ar"> J<small>ANE</small>." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton read this note with amazement, and a sense of its falsity + swept over him, as if a wind had risen from the paper and struck + his face. But as men too often do, he tried to thrust away his + first true instincts, and replace their warning with a lumbering + reason. He sat deep in thought, gazing at the table before him. If + it were true, if she were really going, if she really meant + good-bye, what a relief! But it was impossible, unless, indeed, she + had accomplished her plan, and had heard that he had been, or was + about to be dismissed from his post. +</p> +<p> + This seemed to throw a light upon the matter, and with the idea of + finding confirmation of this in some of the other letters awaiting + him, he started to go through them. It was a heavy post-bag, and + gave him much to attend to. He went through the letters, but found + nothing relative to himself in them, and settled down to his work. + Twelve, one, and two passed, and he looked up at the clock, + wondering if she were really gone. He seemed to have no inclination + for lunch, so he worked on without leaving the office, and only + rose to clear his desk when it was time to leave for the day. + To-morrow he would learn definitely what passengers the out-going + boat had carried. He would not stay this evening to find out. He + felt ill, listless; he only wanted to be back with Saidie in the + restful shade of the palms. +</p> +<p> + As he rode across the desert that evening an indefinable depression + hung over him. Never since he had found Saidie had that melancholy, + once so natural, come back to him. Her spirit, whether she were + absent or present, seemed always with him—a gay, bright, beautiful + vision ever before his eyes, giving him the feeling that he was + looking always into sunlight. But to-night there seemed emptiness, + gloom about him. +</p> +<p> + "It's the weather," he muttered, and looked upward to the curious + sky. It was gold, gleaming gold; but close to the horizon lay two + bright purple bars, like lines of writing in the West: the prophecy + of a storm, and the heat seemed to hang in the air that not a + faintest breath moved. +</p> +<p> + Swiftly and evenly the great camel bore him, its well-beloved + master, over the rippling sand towards the palms in the golden + west, but the approaching night travelled faster than they, and it + was quite dark, with a sullen heavy darkness, before they reached + the bungalow. It seemed very quiet, with an indefinable sense of + stillness in the garden and wide hall. Neither Saidie nor any + servant came to meet him, and it was quite dark: no lamp had been + lighted. With a sudden throb of terror in his heart, Hamilton + paused and called "Saidie." +</p> +<p> + There was no response, no sound. Striking a match, Hamilton + deliberately lit a lamp. Some great evil was upon him, and with a + curious calmness he went forward to meet it. He went upstairs and + pushed open the door of their bedroom, shielding the light with his + hand and seeking first with his eyes the bed. Saidie lay there: the + exquisite form, in its transparent purple gauze, lay composed upon + the bed, a little to one side. The glorious hair, unbound, rippled + in a dark river to the floor; the head rested sideways as in sleep, + upon the pillow. In silence Hamilton approached; near the bed his + foot slid suddenly; he looked down; there was a tiny lake of + scarlet blood, blackening at its edges, blood on the wooden + bedstead side, blood on the purple muslin over the perfect breasts. + Hamilton, his body growing rigid, put out his hand to her forehead; + it was cold. He set down the lamp and turned her face towards it, + putting his arm under her head. Her lips were stone colour, the + lids were closed over the eyes; the face was the face of death. +</p> +<p> + In those moments Hamilton realized that his own life was over. + Saidie was dead—murdered. The world then was simply no more for + him. All was finished: he himself was a dead man. Only one thing + remained, one duty for him. To avenge her! Then utter rest and + blackness. He looked round thinking. The room was quite empty, + undisturbed. The great pearls on Saidie's neck were untouched. They + gleamed gently in the pale light from his lamp. No robber, no + outsider had been here. Then, in the darkened room, leapt up before + him the truth: a white, blonde face seemed looking at him from the + walls—the thick pale lips, the half-closed sinister eyes, the lean + long figure of his wife rose before him. +</p> +<p> + "But she was to leave by the morning's boat," he muttered. Then + ... a thought struck him. He withdrew his arm gently from the + passive head, lighted another lamp, putting it on a bracket in the + wall, and left the room, descending to the vacant hall. He went to + the verandah and called to his servants. They came, a trembling + crowd, with upraised hands, and fell flat before him, weeping and + striking their heads on the ground. +</p> +<p> + "It is not our fault, Light of Heaven, Father of the Poor, the + Mem-Sahib came—the white Mem-Sahib. We are poor men; we have no + fault at all." +</p> +<p> + Hamilton listened for a moment to the storm of words and protesting + cries. Then he raised his hand and there was silence, but for a + sound of rising wind without and the sobbing of the natives. +</p> +<p> + "Pir Bakhs," he said to the head of them all, the butler, "tell me + all you know. Your mistress is dead. Who is responsible?" +</p> +<p> + The butler came forward and fell at his master's feet with clasped + hands. +</p> +<p> + "Lord of the Earth, I know nothing but this. At five all was quiet + in the house, and our mistress sat in the garden singing. Then + came to the door two runners with a palanquin. They asked to see + our mistress. I said wait. I went to the garden. I said the white + Mem-Sahib has come in a palanquin. My mistress said, 'I will see + her.' She went to the drawing-room, and the white Mem-Sahib came + in, and they drank tea together. Your servant is a poor man, and he + saw no more till the runners went away with the palanquin. So we + said, 'The white Mem-Sahib has gone,' and my mistress said to me + she felt drowsy and must sleep, and went upstairs to the Light of + Heaven's room and shut the door. And your servant was laying the + table in your honour's dining-room a little later, and he went to + close the jillmills,<a name="3"></a><a href="#note-3"><small>[3]</small></a> for the wind was rising, and your servant + saw through the jillmill the white Mem-Sahib again getting into her + palanquin that had appeared once more at the back, and the runners + ran with it very fast into the desert; then your servant ran out to + ask the other servants why the white Mem-Sahib had come back, and + the ayah met him at the door and said she had found our mistress + killed in her room; and your honour's servant is a poor man, and + has wept ever since." +</p> + +<p> + Hamilton listened in perfect silence. The man's face was lined with + grief, the tears rolled in streams down his livid cheeks. A wail + went up from the other servants at his words. Hamilton and his + mistress were their idols, and his grief was very real to + themselves. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton stretched out his hand to the trembling man with a benign + gesture. +</p> +<p> + "Pir Bakhs, I believe you. You have served me many years, and never + lied to me. This is another's work, not yours. Be at peace. You + have no fault." +</p> +<p> + The butler wept louder, and the others wailed with him, calling + upon Heaven to bless their master and avenge their mistress. +</p> +<p> + Hamilton turned from them to the dark dining-room, which he crossed + to the hall; through this he walked in the darkness as a blind man + walks, to the entrance. +</p> +<p> + He tore the wood-work door open, wrenching it from its hinges, and + looked out into the night. A dust-storm was raging in the desert + beyond the compound, and its stinging blasts of wind, laden with + sand, drove heavily over the exquisite masses of bloom, the + glorious and delicate scented blossoms of the garden. It tore off + the flowers remorselessly, and even for the moment he stood there, + a rain of thin, white, shredded petals was flung into his face. The + branches of the trees groaned and whined in the thick darkness, the + swish of broken and bent bamboo came from all sides, the roar of + the dust driven through the foliage filled his ears. The garden, + the beautiful, sheltered garden, scene of their delights, was being + ruthlessly destroyed, even as his life had been; it was expiring in + agony, even as he would shortly expire: to-morrow it would be + desolate, a shattered wreck under the dust, even as he, in a little + while—But something should be done first. +</p> +<p> + Leaving the doorway open, letting the dust-laden wind tear + shrieking through the silent house, he plunged into the roaring + darkness. He took the centre path that led straight to the compound + gate. The unhappy bushes and tortured branches of the trees, bent + and twisted by the onrushing wind, lashed his face and body as he + went down the path. He did not feel their stinging blows. On, on to + the desert he went blindly but steadily in the thick darkness. +</p> +<p> + When he got beyond the compound gate, out of the shelter of the + garden, the weight of the wind almost bore him down; but as he + faced its blast, his eyes saw, not so very far, out on the plain, + dull in the whirling mist, the dancing uncertain light of a carried + lantern. As the tiger darts forward on its prey, as the snake + springs to the attack, Hamilton leapt forward into the wall of wind + that faced him and ran at the dancing light. +</p> +<p> + Choked with sand, blinded, suffocated and breathless, but full of + power to kill, he was on it at last, and flung himself with sinewy + hands on the swaying, covered sedan chair, between the two bearers, + who, bewildered and helpless in the sudden storm, were groping + slowly across the plain. With a shriek they dropped the handles, as + Hamilton flung himself suddenly on the chair; the lantern fell into + the sand and went out. The natives, thinking the devil, the actual + spirit of the storm, had overtaken them, fled howling into the + blackness, their cries swallowed up like whispers in the roar of + the wind. As the chair struck the sand, the woman within thrust her + head with a cry through the open side. Hamilton seized it by the + neck. Out! out of the sedan chair, through the burst-open door, he + pulled the wretched creature by her head, and then flung her with + all his force upon the sand. +</p> +<p> + The raging wind swept past them in sheets of dust, bellowing as it + went. He knelt on her body; his hands ground into her neck. Through + the darkness he saw beneath him the thin, white oval of the face, + with its eyes bulging, starting out of the head, its lips writhing + in agony; two white hands beat helplessly in the black air beside + him. He looked hard into her eyes, bending down to her close, very + near, as his hands sank deeper into her neck, his fingers locked + more tightly round it. In a few seconds the light of the eyes went + out, the hands ceased to beat the air. Saidie was avenged. With a + laugh that rang out into the noise of the storm, the man got up + from the limp body and stood by it, in the echoing darkness. Then + he kicked it, so that it rolled over, and the sand came up in + waves eager to bury it. +</p> +<p> + In an hour woman, sedan chair, lantern would all be beneath a level + plain of sand. +</p> +<p> + He turned back towards the bungalow. "Saidie," he murmured, and the + storm-wind seemed to rave "Saidie!" "Saidie!" round him, to whirl + the name upwards to the dim stars, glimmering one here and there, + far off and veiled in the heavens. He went back; the wind helped + him. On its wings he seemed borne back to his house, through the + tortured garden, through the gaping doorway, over the shattered + door he passed, and then up the stairs to their room. +</p> +<p> + After the inferno of the desert the inside of the house seemed + quiet, and in their room the lamps burned steadily, but low. Their + oil was used up, their life, like his, was nearly done. The bed + stood there and on its calm white stillness lay Saidie, waiting for + him, for him alone, as always. +</p> +<p> + He went up to her and stood there. +</p> +<p> + "Saidie?" but she did not answer. He lay down beside her gently, so + as not to break her slumber, and then drew her to his breast. Ah + his treasure! his world! Surely now all was well since she was + safe in his arms! He did not feel the deathly coldness. There was a + whizzing in his brain where Nature had laid her finger on a vein, + and broken it that he might be released from sorrow and die. +</p> +<p> + "Saidie?" he murmured again as her breast pressed his, and put his + lips to hers. +</p> +<p> + As his life had first dawned in her kiss, so it went back now to + the lips that had given it, and in that kiss he died. +</p> +<br> +<a name="note-3"><!--Note--></a> +<p class="foot"> +<a href="#3"><u>3</u></a>. Wooden shutters. +</p> +<hr> + +<a name="2H_4_0006"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + II +</h2> +<br> +<p> + There was complete silence in the large room, filled with long, + wavering shadows that the flickering firelight chased over the + walls and amongst the gilt-edged tables. +</p> +<p> + Beyond the windows the dusk was gathering quickly in the wind-swept + street, beneath the leaden sky. From the pane nearest the fire a + side-light fell across a man's figure leaning against the corner of + the mantel-shelf. A ruddy glow from the hearth struck upon the silk + skirt of a girl leaning back in the easy-chair beneath the other + corner. +</p> +<p> + Her face is lost in the shadow. +</p> +<p> + He is a good-looking fellow, very. The high white collar that shows + up in the dusk is fastened round a long, well-set neck; the figure + in the blue serge suit is straight and pleasing, and the shoulders + erect and slim. +</p> +<p> + The girl's eyes, looking out of the shadow, take in these points, + and the pleasure they give her seems inextricably confused with + dull pain. Her gaze passes on to his face, and rests eagerly, + almost thirstily, upon it. +</p> +<p> + There is light enough still to show her its well-cut oval, spoiled + now by the haggard falling in of the cheeks, the lines in the + forehead, and the swellings beneath the eyes. +</p> +<p> + He shifts his position a little and glances through the window. His + eyes are full of irritation, and the girl knows it, though they are + turned from her. She gives a suppressed, inaudible sigh; his + attitude now brings out the impatient discontent on his mouth and + the rigid determination of the chin. +</p> +<p> + "I suppose you mean two people can live upon nothing?" His voice is + cold, even hostile, and he speaks apparently to the panes, but the + tones are well-bred and pleasing; and again the girl wonders dimly + which is the predominating sensation in her—pleasure or pain. +</p> +<p> + "No," she says, in rather a suffocated voice. "But I say, if either + person has enough, or the two together, it does not matter which + has it, or which has the most." +</p> +<p> + Silence, which her hesitating, timid voice breaks at last. +</p> +<p> + "Does it?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I think it does," he answered shortly. "The man must have + enough to support both, or he has no right to marry at all." +</p> +<p> + The girl's hands lock themselves together convulsively, unseen + behind her slight waist, laced so skilfully into the fashionable + bodice. +</p> +<p> + There is a hard decision in the incisive tones that does not belong + to the mere expression of a general theory—a cold authority and a + weight of personal conviction that turns the words into a statement + of rigid principle. +</p> +<p> + The girl feels almost dizzy, and she closes her hot eyelids + suddenly to shut out the line of that hard, obstinate chin. +</p> +<p> + "People's ideas on what is enough to support both vary so much," + she says quietly, with well-bred indifference in her tone, while + her heart beats wildly as she waits for his next remark. +</p> +<p> + "Well, what would you consider enough yourself?" he says coldly, + after a slight pause, turning a little more towards her. +</p> +<p> + The red light glows steadily on her skirts, and he can see the + graceful outline of her knees under them, and one small foot upon + the hearthrug; the rest of the form is veiled in the shadow, except + one rounded line of a shoulder and the glint of light hair above. +</p> +<p> + He looks down at her, and there seems a sudden, nervous expansion + in his frame; outwardly there is not the faintest impatient + movement. He waits quietly for her reply. +</p> +<p> + The girl hesitates as she looks at him. To her, in her absorbing + love for the man before her, the question is an absurd mockery. +</p> +<p> + To reduce to a certain number of pounds this "enough," when for her + anything or nothing would be enough! +</p> +<p> + "I would rather starve to death in your arms than live another day + without you," is the current running under all her thoughts, and it + confuses them and makes it difficult for her to speak. +</p> +<p> + What shall she answer? To name a sum too small in his eyes will + be as great an error as to name one too large. He would only + think her a silly, sentimental girl, who knows nothing of what + she is talking about, and who has no knowledge and appreciation + of the responsibilities of life. +</p> +<p> + Besides, to name a very small income will be to conjure up before + his eyes the picture of a mean, pitiful, sordid existence, from + which she feels, with painful distinctness, he would turn with + disgust. +</p> +<p> + Poor? Yes, he has told her that he is poor, and she believes it; + but somehow—by contracting debt, probably—she thinks, as her + keen, observant eyes sweep over him, he manages at present to live + and dress as a gentleman. +</p> +<p> + Those well-cut suits, those patent shoes and expensive cigarettes; + these things, she feels instinctively, must be preserved for him, + or any form of life would lose its charm. +</p> +<p> + At the same time, she must mention something that is not hopelessly + beyond him. She recalls her own two hundred; surely, at the least, + he must be making one. +</p> +<p> + "I can hardly say," she murmured at last, "because personally I + think one can live on so very little; but I suppose most people + would say—well, about three hundred pounds a year." +</p> +<p> + "Oh! three hundred a year," he says, stretching out his hand for + the tea-cup on a low table beside him. The tea has grown cold in + the discussion of abstract questions. He takes the cup and sits + down deliberately in the corner of the couch opposite her, and + stirs the tea slowly. +</p> +<p> + "How much is that a week? Five pounds fifteen, isn't it? Well, now, + go on, see what you can make of it. Your house—the smallest—and + servants—" +</p> +<p> + "House and servants!" interrupts the girl, "but why have a house + and servants at all?" +</p> +<p> + "I don't know," he rejoins curtly, "because the girl generally + expects those things when she marries." +</p> +<p> + "Not all girls," she says, and one seems to hear the smile with + which she says it in her voice. +</p> +<p> + "You mean rooms?" he says quickly, with a gleam of pleasure + breaking for a moment across his face. +</p> +<p> + "Well—say rooms—you would want three—thirty shillings, I + suppose, at the least, and then another thirty for board. That + leaves two fifteen for everything else." +</p> +<p> + "Surely that's a good deal." +</p> +<p> + "Oh, I don't know; think of one's clothes," and Stephen stares + moodily into the fire, with a pricking recollection of a tailor's + bill for twenty odd in his drawer at home now. +</p> +<p> + Then, to remove the impression of selfish extravagance he feels he + may have given, he adds: +</p> +<p> + "And a man wants to give his wife some amusement, and three hundred + a year leaves nothing for that." +</p> +<p> + "Amusement!" the girl repeats, starting up and standing upright, + with one elbow just touching the mantelpiece, and the firelight + flooding her figure from the slim waist downwards. "What amusement + does a woman want if she is in love with the man she is living + with? The man himself is her amusement! To watch him when he is + occupied, to wait for him when he is away, to nurse him when he is + ill—that is her amusement: she does not want any other!" +</p> +<p> + Stephen stares at the flexible form, and listens to the words that + he would admire, only the cynical suspicion is in his mind that she + is talking for effect. His general habit was to consider all women + mercenary and untrustworthy. Deep in his heart—for he had a heart, + though contracted from want of use—lay a hungry desire to be + loved, really loved for himself; and the very keenness of the + longing, and the anxiety not to be deceived, lessened his powers of + penetration, and blinded him to the girl's character. +</p> +<p> + He laughs slightly. "You are taking a theatrical view of the whole + thing!" +</p> +<p> + "How do you mean?" +</p> +<p> + "Oh, well, that the wife really loves her husband and sticks to him + through everything, and they pass through unheard-of difficulties + together, and so on"; but he adds, with a faint yawn: "I've always + noticed that when the money goes the love disappears too. There's + no love where there's abject poverty." +</p> +<p> + "But three hundred a year is not abject poverty," answers the girl + in a quiet tone, not denying his theory for fear of being called + again theatrical. +</p> +<p> + "No," he admits. "Oh, it might do very well as long as there were + only two; but then, when there are children, it means a nurse, and + all sorts of expenses." +</p> +<p> + He says the words with a simplicity and directness that makes the + girl almost catch her breath. For these two were not on intimate + terms with each other, not even terms of intimate speaking. +</p> +<p> + Nothing had passed between them yet but the merest society phrases, + and before a certain quiet dinner one month back neither knew of + the other's existence. Since then some chance meetings on the + beach, the parade, the pier, a few long afternoon rows, between + then and now: these are the only nourishment the flame in either + breast has received—a flame kindled in a few long glances across + the dinner-table. +</p> +<p> + But this afternoon he has laid aside the customary phrases and + deliberately commenced the present conversation. +</p> +<p> + True, it is purely an abstract one—all theory and hypotheses. No + one could say otherwise if it were repeated. Not a personal word + has been uttered on either side; but the girl feels in the + determined tone of his voice, in the studied way he started it, in + the cold precision with which he follows it, that it is practically + a test conversation of herself, and that she is virtually passing + through an examination. +</p> +<p> + He has come this afternoon with a set of certain questions that he + means to put, to all of which her answers are received without + comment, and mentally noted down. +</p> +<p> + He neither repeats himself, nor presses a point, nor leaves out + anything on his mental list, nor allows any remark to lead away + from it. +</p> +<p> + He has also certain things he means to say, which he will say, as + he asks his questions, deliberately, one after the other; and then, + when he has heard and said all he intends, he will terminate the + conversation as decisively as he began it and go. The girl feels + all this, for her brain is as clear and keen as the glance of her + eyes. +</p> +<p> + She knows that he is testing her: that she stands upon trial before + him. +</p> +<p> + She has nothing to hide: only, that too great love and devotion, + that seems to swell and swell irrepressibly within her, and would + pour itself out in words to him, but that his tone, his manner, + his look keep it back absolutely, as a firm hand holds down the + rising cork upon the exuberant wine. And now, at this sentence + of his, her words fail her. They are strangers practically, that + is conventionally—quite strangers, she remembers confusedly—but + for this secret bond of passion, knit up between them, which both + can feel but both ignore. +</p> +<p> + The natural male in him, and the natural female in her, are + already, as it were, familiar, but the fashionable man and girl are + strangers still. +</p> +<p> + Then, now, how is she to say what she wishes to him? How can she + talk with this mere acquaintance upon this subject? The very word + "children" seems to scorch her lips. At the same time, familiarity + with him seems natural and unnatural; terrible, and yet simple. +</p> +<p> + Then, too, what are his views? +</p> +<p> + Will her next words shock him inexpressibly? +</p> +<p> + In her passionate, excitable brain, inflamed with love for the man, + the idea of maternity can merely present itself like an unwelcome, + grey-clad Quaker at a banquet. +</p> +<p> + She hesitates, choosing her words. She knows so little of the man + in front of her. His clothes, she sees, are of the newest cut, but + his notions may not be. +</p> +<p> + At last her soft, weak, timid voice breaks the pause. +</p> +<p> + "Do you think it necessary to have very large families?" +</p> +<p> + "No, I don't," he answers instantly with the energy and alacrity of + one who is glad to express his opinion. "No, I don't, not at all." +</p> +<p> + The girl's suspended breath is drawn again. Unlike himself in his + queries she presses her point home. +</p> +<p> + "Don't you think those marriages are the happiest where there are + no children?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes," he says decidedly, getting up and thrusting his hands into + his coat pockets. "Yes, I do—much the happiest." +</p> +<p> + There is silence. It is too dark for either to see the other's + expression. He stands irresolutely for a minute or two, and then + says with a disagreeable laugh: +</p> +<p> + "I should hate my own children! Fancy coming home and finding a lot + of children crying and screaming in the place." +</p> +<p> + To this the girl says nothing, and Stephen, after a minute's + reflection, softens his words. +</p> +<p> + "Besides, your wife's love, when she has children, is all given to + them." +</p> +<p> + "Yes," murmurs her well-bred voice. "Oh, yes, one is happier + without them." +</p> +<p> + Neither speak. They are agreed so far; there is a deep relief and + pleasure in the breast of each. +</p> +<p> + "Well," he says at last, rousing himself, "I must go. I shall be + late for dinner." +</p> +<p> + The girl leans down and stirs the fire into a leaping, yellow + blaze. It fills the room with light, and reveals them fully now to + each other. +</p> +<p> + She makes no effort to detain him, and they look at each other, + about to part. +</p> +<p> + The self-control of each is marvellous, and admirable for its mere + thoroughness and completeness. +</p> +<p> + He has large eyes, and they stare down at her haggardly, as he + stands facing her in the light. The hungry, hopeless look in those + eyes and the drawn lines in his face go to the girl's heart, and to + herself it seems literally melting into one warm flood of sympathy. +</p> +<p> + Ill! he looks ill and wretched, and she longs with a longing that + presses upon her, till it is like a physical agony, to give some + way to her feelings. +</p> +<p> + "Dearest, my dearest!" she is thinking, "if I might only tell + you—even a little—" +</p> +<p> + And Stephen stares at the soft face and warm lips, half-paralyzed + with desire to bend down and kiss them. How would a kiss be? how + would they—And so there is a momentary, barely perceptible pause, + filled with a painful intensity of feeling, to which neither gives + way one hair's breadth. Then he gives a curt laugh. +</p> +<p> + "We have discussed rather a difficult problem and not settled it," + he says in a conventional tone. +</p> +<p> + "It seems to me quite simple," murmurs the girl, with a throat so + dry that the words are hardly audible. +</p> +<p> + He hears, but makes no reply beyond another slight laugh, as he + holds out his hand. The girl puts hers into it. There is a moderate + pressure only on either side, and then he goes out and shuts the + door, leaving the girl standing motionless—all the warm springs + in her heart frozen by his last cynical laugh. +</p> +<p> + Brookes finds his way down the stairs, through the unlighted hall, + and lets himself out in the chill October air. +</p> +<p> + He goes down the street feeling a confused sense of having + inflicted pain and left distress behind him, but his own sensation + of irritation, his own vexation and angry resentment against his + lot in life, all but obliterate it. +</p> +<p> + For some seconds he walks on with all his thoughts merged together + in a mere desperate and painful confusion. "Only a hundred a year!" + is his plainest, most bitter reflection. "Five-and-twenty, and only + earning a hundred a year!" +</p> +<p> + Brookes is not of a calm temperament. His nervous system is tensely + strung, and generally, owing to various incidental matters, + slightly out of tune, or at anyrate, feels so. +</p> +<p> + His circulation is rapid, every pulse beats strongly, and the blood + flows hotly in his veins. +</p> +<p> + His mental nature is of much the same order—passionate, excitable, + and impatient; but there is such a heavy curb-rein of control + perpetually upon it, that its three leading qualities jar inwardly + upon himself more than they show to outsiders. +</p> +<p> + Even now the confused, excited disorder in his brain is soon + regulated and calmed by his will, and as he walks on he lapses into + trying to recollect whether he has said all he meant to. +</p> +<p> + He concludes that he has, and a certain satisfaction comes over + him. +</p> +<p> + "Well, I have told her my views now," he reflects. "She sees what I + think, and what my principles are. She won't wonder that I say + nothing. I shall try for another post and a rise of salary, and + then—" +</p> +<p> + Stephen's character was a fine one in its way. The capacity for + self-command and self-denial was tremendous, his sense of honour + keen, his adherence to that which he conceived the right + inflexible, his will immutable; but of the subtler sweetness of + the human heart he had none. +</p> +<p> + Of sympathy, the divine συμ, παθος, <i>the suffering with</i>, he had not the vaguest conception: of its faint and poor + reflections, pity and mercy, he had but a dim idea. +</p> +<p> + He stuck as well as he could to what he thought was the right + path, and as to the feelings of others, he could not be blamed for + not considering them, for he had never practically realized that + they had any. +</p> +<p> + In the present circumstances he had a few, fine, adamantine rules + for conduct, which he was going to steadfastly apply, and he + thought no more of the girl's feelings under them than one thinks + of the inanimate parcel one is cording with what one knows is good, + stout string. +</p> +<p> + In his eyes it was distinctly dishonourable for a man to engage a + girl to himself without a reasonably near prospect of marriage. +</p> +<p> + It was also decidedly ungentlemanly to propose to a girl if she had + money and you had none. Moreover, it was extremely selfish to + remove a girl from a comfortable position to a poorer one, though + she might positively swear she preferred it; and lastly, it was + unwise for various reasons, to be too amiable to the girl, or to + give any but the dimmest clue to your own feelings. +</p> +<p> + There was no telling—your feelings might change even—when you + have to wait so long—and then it was much better, <i>for the girl</i>, + that she should not be tied to you. +</p> +<p> + To visit the girl frequently, to hang about her to the amusement of + onlookers, to keep alive her passion by look and hint and innuendo, + to excite her by advances when he was in the humour, and studiously + repulse her when she made any, to act almost as if he were her + <i>fiancé</i>, and curtly resent it if she ever assumed he was more than + an ordinary friend—this line of action he saw no fault in. The + above were his views, and they were excellent, and if the girl + didn't understand them she might do the other thing. +</p> +<p> + Some weeks passed, and the man and the girl saw each other + constantly—three or four times in the week, perhaps more; and the + inward irritation grew intense, while their outward relations + remained unchanged. +</p> +<p> + There was a certain brutality that crept into the man's tones + occasionally when he addressed her, a certain savage irritability + in manner, that told the girl's keen intelligence something; some + involuntary sighs of hers as she sat near him, and an increasing + look of exhaustion on her face, that told him something. But that + was all. +</p> +<p> + There were no tender passages between them; none of the + conventional English flirting—matters were too serious, and the + nature of each too violent to permit of that. A little bitter, + more or less hostile, conversation passed between them on the + most trifling subjects in his long afternoon calls. A little + music would be attempted—that is, he would sing song after song, + while she accompanied him, but a song was rarely completed. + Generally, before or at the middle, he would seize the music in a + gust of irrepressible and barely-veiled irritability, and fling + it on the piano—yet they attempted the music with unwavering + persistence, and both rose to go to the instrument with mutual + alacrity. +</p> +<p> + There they were close to each other—so close that the warmth and + breath of their beings were interchanged. There in the pursuit of a + fallen sheet of music, his head bent down and touched hers. Once, + apparently to regain the leaf, his hand and arm leaned hard upon + her lap. One second, perhaps, no more; but the girl's whole + strained system seemed breaking up at the touch—her control + shattered, like machinery violently reversed. +</p> +<p> + The music leaf was replaced, but her hands had fallen nerveless + from the keys. +</p> +<p> + "It is hot. I can't go on playing. Put the window open, will you, + for me?" +</p> +<p> + Stephen walked to the window, raised it, and smiled into the dark. +</p> +<p> + That night it seemed to Stephen he could never force himself to + leave the girl. He prolonged the playing past all reasonable + limits, until May's sister laughingly reminded him that they were + only staying in seaside lodgings, and other occupants of the house + must be considered. Stephen reluctantly relinquished the friendly + piano, and then stood, with May's sweet figure beside him, and her + upraised face clear to the side vision of his eye, talking to her + sister. +</p> +<p> + At last, when every trifle is exhausted of which he can make + conversation, there comes a pause, a silence; he can think of + nothing more. He nerves himself, holds out his hand, and says, + "Good-night!" +</p> +<p> + May, influenced equally by the same indomitable aversion to be + separated from him, follows him outside the drawing-room, and + another pause is made on the stair. By this time a fresh stock of + chaff and light wit is ready in Stephen's brain, and he makes use + of anything and everything to procure him another moment at her + side; but of all the passion within him, of the ardent, impetuous + impulse towards her, nothing, not the faintest trace, shows. +</p> +<p> + A mere "Good-night!" ends their conversation at length, and the + girl did not re-enter the drawing-room, but passed straight up the + stairs to her own room. +</p> +<p> + "Does he care? Does he care or not?" she asked herself, walking + ceaselessly backwards and forwards. "If I only knew that he did! + This is killing me; and suppose, after all, he does not care!" +</p> +<p> + She almost reels in her walk, and then stretches her arms out on + her mantelpiece, and leans her head heavily upon them. +</p> +<p> + "So this is being in love!" she thinks, with a faint satirical + smile. "All this anxiety and pain and feeling of illness! Why, it + is as if poison had been poured through me." +</p> +<p> + Through the next day May lay pallid and silent on the couch, + without pretence of occupation, feeling too exhausted even to + respond to her sister's chaff and raillery. +</p> +<p> + It was only at dinner, when her brother-in-law informed his wife he + was sick of the place, and that nothing would induce him to stay + more than another week, that a stain of scarlet colour appeared in + May's cheeks and a terrified dilation in her eyes. +</p> +<p> + Her lids were lowered directly, and the blood receded again. She + made no remark, but at the close of dinner she excused herself, and + went upstairs alone. +</p> +<p> + Once in her room, she stripped off her dinner-dress and shoes, and + re-dressed in morning things. Her hands trembled so violently that + she could hardly fasten her bodice over the wildly-expanding bosom. +</p> +<p> + But her resolve was fixed. They were going in a week. To-morrow, + she knew, Stephen was leaving the place for a fortnight. She must + see him to-night. +</p> +<p> + When she is completely dressed, she pauses for a moment to choke + down the terrible physical excitement that seems to rob her of + breath and muscular power. +</p> +<p> + Then she passes downstairs quietly and goes out. +</p> +<p> + The night is still, cold, and dark. +</p> +<p> + May walks rapidly through the few streets that divide his house and + hers. +</p> +<p> + The few men she meets turn involuntarily to glance after the + splendid form that goes by them, and in her decisive walk, in the + eyes blind to them, they feel instinctively she is already owned, + mentally or actually, by some one other. +</p> +<p> + When she reaches Stephen's house, she learns he is in, and with a + great fear of him suddenly rushing over her, she sends word up to + him by the servant: Will he see her? +</p> +<p> + While she waits in the hall, her message is taken upstairs. May + leans against the wall, a terrible sick faintness, born of + excitement and hysteria, coming suddenly upon her. +</p> +<p> + There is a hall-chair, but her eyes are too darkened to see it; she + simply clings to the handle of the door, and lets her head sink + against the side of the passage. +</p> +<p> + Brookes is upstairs with his brother and two friends; they have + been playing cards, but a game is just over, and the men have got + up to stretch themselves. +</p> +<p> + Stephen himself is leaning back against the mantelpiece, as his + habit is, and yawning slightly. He has just been beaten, and he is + a man who can't play a losing game. +</p> +<p> + "No," his brother remarks. "I didn't know what the deuce 'Ladas' + meant till I looked it up; did you, Steve?" +</p> +<p> + "Oh, I should think every schoolboy would know that," is the curt + response, and at that moment the servant's knock comes at the door. +</p> +<p> + "Please, sir, there's a lady as wants to see you," the girl says + with a perceptible grin. "She said she wouldn't come up, and she's + waiting in the hall, sir." +</p> +<p> + There is a blank silence in the room. Brookes pales suddenly, and + his eyebrows, that habitually have a supercilious elevation, rise + still higher with annoyance. +</p> +<p> + He hesitates a single second, then, without a word in reply, he + crosses the room towards the door, and the servant retreats + hastily. +</p> +<p> + The men glance furtively at each other, but Stephen's devil of a + temper being well known, they forbear to laugh or even smile till + he is well out of the room. Brookes goes down the stairs with one + sentence only in his mind: Coming to my rooms, and making a fool + of me! +</p> +<p> + He is annoyed, intensely annoyed, and that is his sole feeling. +</p> +<p> + May is standing upright now in the centre of the hall under the + swinging lamp, and she watches him run lightly down the long flight + of stairs towards her with swimming eyes. +</p> +<p> + What is there in that figure of his that has so much influence on + her senses? More, perhaps, even than his face, do the lines of his + neck and shoulders and their carriage please her. All the pleasure + she can ever realise in life seems contained for her in that slim, + well-made frame, in its blue serge suit. +</p> +<p> + She makes one impetuous step forward, her whole form dominated, + impelled by the surge of ardent feelings within her, and holds out + one trembling, burning hand. Stephen, with a confused sense of its + being awfully bad form that she should be standing in his hall, + takes it in his right hand, feeling hastily for the lucifers with + his left. +</p> +<p> + "Er—come into the dining-room, won't you?" he says, with the + familiar, supercilious accent that with him is the expression of + suppressed annoyance and slight embarrassment. +</p> +<p> + He knows the rooms are unlet, and with gratitude for this + providential circumstance in his thoughts, and his heart beating + violently with sudden excitement now he is actually in her + presence, he turns the handle of the door and sets it wide open. +</p> +<p> + He strikes a match and holds it up, leaning back against the door, + for her to pass in before him. +</p> +<p> + As she does so, their two figures for one second almost touch each + other, and a sudden glow lights up in his veins. He feels it, and + it warns him instantly to summon his self-control. That before + everything. +</p> +<p> + The next moment he follows her into the room, lights the gas, + returns to the door, closes it, and then comes back towards the rug + where she is standing. +</p> +<p> + By this time his command is his own. His face is as calm as a mask. + His large eyes, somewhat bloodshot now from hours of smoking and a + sleepless night, rest upon her with cold enquiry. +</p> +<p> + She has seen them once, met them once, fixed, liquid, with + passionate longing upon hers; desperately she seeks in them now for + one gleam of the same light, but there is none. They and his face + are cloaked in a cold reserve. Sick, and with her heart beating to + suffocation, she says, as he waits for her to explain her presence: +</p> +<p> + "We are—going away." +</p> +<p> + Stephen's heart seems to contract at the words he had so often + dreaded to hear, heard at last. +</p> +<p> + His thoughts take a greyer hopelessness. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, really!" he says merely, the shock he feels only slightly + intensifying his habitual drawl. "Not immediately, I hope?" +</p> +<p> + Nothing to the nervous, excited, over-strained girl before him + could be more galling, more humiliating, more crushing than the + cold, conventional politeness of his tones and words. +</p> +<p> + This frightful fence of Society manner that he will put between + them—a slight, delicate defence, is as effectual as if he caused a + precipice by magic to yawn between them. +</p> +<p> + "No—not—not—quite immediately, but soon," she falters. "And it + seems as if I could not exist if—I—never see you." +</p> +<p> + There is a strained pause while they stand facing each other. He + is motionless; one hand rests in his pocket, the other hangs + nerveless at his side. +</p> +<p> + They look at each other. Each is thinking of the supreme + delight—even if momentary—the other's embrace could give if—but + the conditions in the respective minds are different—in his: "If I + thought it wise;" in hers: "If he only would." +</p> +<p> + "Well, we can write to each other," he says at last. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, but what are letters?" the girl says passionately; and then, + urged on hard by her love for him, her intuition of his love for + her, and her common-sense instinct not to throw away her life's + happiness for a misunderstanding or petty feeling of pride, she + adds: "You know—don't you?—that I care for you more than anything + else in the world." +</p> +<p> + Her tones are sharp with the intensity of feeling, and she + stretches both hands imploringly a little way towards him. +</p> +<p> + He sees them quiver and her face whiten, and the frightened appeal + increase in her pained eyes searching his face, and it is a + marvel—later, he marvels at it himself—how, with his own passion + keen and alive in him, he maintains his ground. But there is + something in the whole scene that jars upon him—something + theatrical that makes the thought flash upon him: Is it a got-up + thing? +</p> +<p> + This puts him on the defensive directly; besides, he resents her + coming to him in this way, and endeavouring to surprise from him + words he has already explained to her he is unwilling to say. +</p> +<p> + She is trying to rush him, he puts it to himself; and the thought + rouses all his own obstinacy and self-will. +</p> +<p> + When he chooses he will speak, and not before. +</p> +<p> + "It is very good of you to say so," he answers quietly, in a cold + formal tone, and the girl quivers as if he had struck her. +</p> +<p> + Now, in his lonely, sleepless nights, the misery on the white face + comes back and back to him in the darkness of his room, but then he + is blind to it. +</p> +<p> + In an annoyed mood to begin with, irritated beyond bearing by his + own helpless, ignominious position, as he fancies, he has no + perception left for his own danger of losing her. +</p> +<p> + And the man, who had lived till five-and-twenty, desiring real + love, and not knowing it, deliberately trampled upon it without + recognising what he did. +</p> +<p> + His words cut the girl terribly. +</p> +<p> + It seems impossible for the second that she can force herself to + speak again to him, but the terrible, irrepressible longing within + her nerves her for one more effort. +</p> +<p> + "Is that all you can tell me? Do you not care for me at all?" +</p> +<p> + He looks at her and hesitates. So modest, so appealing, so timid, + and yet so passionate! Surely this is genuine love for him. Why + thrust it back? But the thought recurs. No. She is rushing him; and + he declines to be rushed. Also a sort of half-embarrassment comes + over him, a nervous instinct to put off, ward off a scene in which + he will be called upon to demonstrate feelings he may not satisfy. +</p> +<p> + He laughs slightly, and says: +</p> +<p> + "Of course I do! I like you very much!" +</p> +<p> + The tones are slighting and contemptuous, enough so to convey + the polite warning: Don't go any further, and force me to be + positively rude to you. +</p> +<p> + Swayed by his strong physical passion, and blinded by the dogged + determination he has to remain master of it, he is absolutely + insensible of another's suffering. +</p> +<p> + Had the girl had greater experience with men, more hardihood and + less modesty; if she could have approached him, and taken his hands + and pressed them to her bosom; if she had had the courage to force + upon him the mysterious influence of physical contact, Stephen's + control would have melted in the kindled fire. +</p> +<p> + Words stir the brain, and through the brain, the senses; but with + some people it's a long way round. +</p> +<p> + Touch stirs the nerves, and its flame runs through the body like a + flying pain. +</p> +<p> + Stephen's physical nerves were far more sensitive than his brain, + and had the girl been a woman of the half-world, or even of the + world, she could have succeeded. But she was a girl; and her + modesty and innocence, the chastity of all her mental and physical + being, hung like dead weights upon her in the encounter. +</p> +<p> + His words, his tones, his glance simply paralyze her—not + figuratively, but positively. Her physical power to move towards + him, to make a further appeal to him, is gone. Speech is dried upon + her lips, wiped from them as a handkerchief passed over them might + take their moisture. +</p> +<p> + She looks at him, dumb, frenzied with the intense longing to throw + herself actually at his feet, but yet held back by some + irresistible power she cannot comprehend, any more than one can + comprehend the stifling, overpowering force in a nightmare. +</p> +<p> + It is the simple result of her life, her breeding, her virtue, her + character, her habits of control and reserve. She is the + fashionable, well-brought-up girl, with all her sensitive instincts + in revolt against forcing herself upon a man indifferent to her, + and full of an overwhelming instinctive timidity that her desire is + wild to break down and cannot. +</p> +<p> + She stares at him, lost in a sense of bitter pain. All her vigorous + life seems wrung with pain, and in that torture, in which every + nerve seems bruised and quivering, a faint smile twists at last the + pale, trembling lips. "You would have made a good vivisector!" she + says. Then, before he has time to answer, she turns the handle of + the door behind her, opens it and goes out. +</p> +<p> + A second after the street door closes, and Stephen stands on the + dining-room mat, looking down the empty hall. Thoroughly disturbed + and excited, with all his own passion surging heavily through his + blood, and her last sentence—that he does not understand any more + than he understands his own cruelty—ringing in his ears, he + hesitates a minute, and then re-enters the dining-room, shuts to + the door, and walks savagely up and down. +</p> +<p> + "Extraordinary girl!" he mutters. "What does she want? What can I + do? She knows I can say nothing at present, when I'm going into the + work-house myself! But what a splendid creature she is! Lots of + 'go' in her. Well, I don't care. I'll have her one day; but there's + no use making a lot of talk about it now." +</p> +<p> + May walked away from his doorstep, no longer a sane human being, + responsible for its actions. The whole physical, nervous system, + weakened by months of self-control, and night following night of + sleeplessness, was hopelessly dislocated now. +</p> +<p> + The whole weight of her excited passion, flung back upon the + sensitive brain, turned it from its balance. It had been a + brilliant brain, and that very excitability that had lent its + brilliance was fatal to it now. +</p> +<p> + The hopeless passion ran like a corroding poison through the + inflammable tissue. +</p> +<p> + She had put the matter to the test, and found that truth of which + the mere possibility had been torture. He had absolutely rejected + her. "He could not care for me," she kept repeating, as the silent + air round her seemed full of his cold, short laughs. +</p> +<p> + His passion for her was dead. It had existed, surely—those looks + of his, the sudden violence of his touch when there was any excuse + for the slightest contact with her—or had it all been some curious + dream? +</p> +<p> + She could not tell now, but whether it had been or not, it was no + longer. To her that seemed the only explanation of his words and + tones. To the tender female nature the depth of brutality in the + passion of the male—that is, in fact, the very sign of it—remains + always an enigma. +</p> +<p> + After the scene just passed, it seemed to the girl impossible, + ludicrous, to suppose that Stephen loved her. +</p> +<p> + She had already made great allowance for him. She had a large share + of the gift of her sex—intuition; and she had understood more than + many women would have done, but to-night he had gone beyond the + limits of her imagination. +</p> +<p> + "No man would be so intensely unkind to a woman he cared for," she + argued. "For nothing, when there is no need." +</p> +<p> + She was not an unreasonable, nor selfish, nor silly girl. Had + Stephen told her he loved her, but that they must suppress their + passion, that she must wait, she would have obeyed him, and waited + months, years, gone down to her grave waiting, in patient fidelity + to him. Her qualities of control were as fine as his, and her + devotion to a man who loved her would have been limitless, but, + acting according to his views, Stephen had taken some trouble to + convince her he was not the man, and she was convinced. +</p> +<p> + And being convinced, the vision of her life without him seemed just + then a dismal waste, impossible to face. +</p> +<p> + In most of the actions of the human being, the physical state of + the person at the time is the principal factor, and May's whole + physical frame, violently over-strained, craved for rest—rest that + the excited brain could not give. Rest was the urgent demand + pressed by the breaking nervous system, and from these two + thoughts—rest, oblivion—grew the dangerous thought of Death. +</p> +<p> + "Sleep and forget! but I can't," she thought, "and if I do, there + is the horrible awakening;" and again her fatigue suggested all the + past sleepless nights, and the craving of the body urged the brain + to find better means of satisfying it, in the same way as the + appetite for food forces the brain to devise methods for procuring + it. +</p> +<p> + She walked on in a straight line from Stephen's house, and the road + happened to pass a post-office. May stopped and looked absently + through its lighted, notice-covered panes. +</p> +<p> + "Send him a few lines," she thought; "because I am so stupid, I + could not tell him enough, and then—" +</p> +<p> + She did not finish the sentence, but all beyond was blank peace. + She went in, bought a letter-card, and wrote:— +</p> +<p class="block"> + "I could have loved you devotedly, intensely, had you wished + it, but you have made it clear to-night that you do not want + love—at any rate, not mine. I have discovered that I have + courage enough to die, but not to live without you. I am going + to the sea now, and in an hour we shall be separated for ever. + I shall know nothing and you will care nothing, so it seems a + good arrangement. My last thought will be of you, my last + desire for you, my last breath your name." +</p> +<p> + She fastened it with an untrembling hand, passed out of the office, + posted it, and went straight down a side street to the parade. +</p> +<p> + The night was still, bound in a frosty silence. The temperature + sank momentarily, and the icy grip intensified in the air. + Overhead the sky was black, and glittered coldly with the winter + stars. Beside and behind her and before her not a living + creature's footstep broke the silence. The sea lay smooth, black, + and motionless on her left, like some huge sleeping monster. +</p> +<p> + She walked on rapidly: a glorious, vigorous, living, youthful + figure, full of that tremendous activity of brain and pulse and + blood, so valuable when there is a use for it, so dangerous when + thrown back upon itself. +</p> +<p> + "How I could have loved him, worshipped him, lived for him, had he + but wanted me!" is the one instinctive cry of her whole nature. +</p> +<p> + At the first easy descent to the beach she turns from the parade, + and goes down, passing without hesitation from the light down to + the moist darkness of the beach. To get away into oblivion, to + escape from this maddening sense of pain, to lose it, let it go + from her like a garment in the black water, is her only impelling + instinct. +</p> +<p> + She sees the glimmer of the water before her without a shudder. How + much dearer and more inviting it seems to her tired eyes than her + bed at home, where so many, many sleepless, anguished nights have + been spent! Here—rest and sleep, with no awakening to a grey and + barren to-morrow. The thought of Death is lost. Desire for the + cessation of pain is keener at its height than even the desire for + life. +</p> +<p> + She stumbles on the wet, black beach at the water's edge, and then + finds where it is slipping like oil over the sand. +</p> +<p> + She walks forward, and the chill of the water rises round her + ankles, then her knees, then her waist, and then she throws herself + face forwards on it, as she once thought to fling herself on his + breast. +</p> +<p> + In a half-drunken satisfaction she stretches her arms out in it and + commences to swim towards the horizon. "Like his arms!" she thinks, + as the water encircles her. "Like his lips!" she thinks, as it + presses on her throat. "And as cold as his nature." +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + The following morning is calm and still—a perfect specimen of + wintry beauty. A light frost covers the ground and sparkles on the + trees. +</p> +<p> + There is a faint chill in the clear air, a tranquil calm on the + gently rising and falling sea and in the lucid sky. +</p> +<p> + The sunlight falling on Stephen's bed and across his sleeping face + shows a smile there, and his arm, lying on the coverlet—an arm + thinned by constant fever and night-sweats—rests, in his thoughts, + round her neck; that white neck so sweetly familiar in his dreams. +</p> +<p> + After a time he wakes and yawns, and turns his head heavily towards + the window; and farther as the happy unconsciousness of sleep + recedes from his face, and recollection and intelligence come back + to it, more clearly show the haggard lines, traced all over it, of + self-repression, seaming and marking it at five-and-twenty. +</p> +<p> + "Another day to be got through," he thinks merely, as Nature's most + precious gift—the light—pours glowing through the panes. +</p> +<p> + When half-an-hour later he opens his door to take in his boots, he + finds two letters with them, and at the sight of one his heart + beats hard. +</p> +<p> + The other is in the girl's handwriting, and he lays it on his + toilet-table, with the thought, "Asking me to go and see her, I + suppose," and turns to the other with a mad impatience. +</p> +<p> + This is evidently the official letter with reference to his + post—the post that means to him but this one thing: her + possession. +</p> +<p> + He bursts it open, and in less than two seconds his eye takes in + its news: he has the appointment. +</p> +<p> + The blood leaps over his face, and an exultant fire runs through + his frame and along his veins. +</p> +<p> + He replaces the letter quietly in its cover with but the slightest + tremor of his fingers. +</p> +<p> + Then he gets up from the bedside and stands in the middle of the + room, looking through the sparkling panes. +</p> +<p> + "I have her!" he is thinking. "Yes, by God! at last I have her!" +</p> +<p> + The day is glorified; life is transfigured. +</p> +<p> + Through his whole body mounts that boundless exhilaration of desire + on the point of satisfaction. Not momentary desire, easily and + recently awakened, but the long desire that has been goaded and + baited to fury through weeks and months of repression, and tempered + to a terrible acuteness in pain and suffering, like steel by flame. +</p> +<p> + And now triumph, and a delight beyond expression, bounds like an + electrified pulse throughout all his strong, vigorous frame. +</p> +<p> + The lines seem to fade from his face, the mouth relaxes, and then + he laughs, as he makes a step towards the window, flings it open, + and leans out into the keen air. +</p> +<p> + "At last I can speak out decently. No one could think I cared for + her money, or any of that rot now. How unexpected!—this morning! + Now I can tell her I'm free, independent! I am glad I waited—it + was much better. Far better, as I said, to be patient. Last night I + almost—and now I'm very glad I didn't." +</p> +<p> + He draws his head back, and turns to the glass to shave with a + light heart. +</p> +<p> + As he does so, he sees her letter again, and picks it up. "You + darling!" he thinks, "I'll make you understand all now." +</p> +<p> + Some miles westward of the pier, some fathoms deep, out of reach of + the quiet sunlight lying on the surface, tosses the girl's body, + senseless and pulseless, with all the million possibilities of + pleasure that filled those keen nerves and supple limbs gone out of + them for ever, and Stephen draws out her despairing letter of + eternal farewell, with a smile lighting up his handsome, pleasing + face. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, it was much better to wait," he murmurs, "I don't approve of + rushing things!" +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0007"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + III +</h2> +<br> +<a name="2HCH0005"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + + +<h3> + CHAPTER I +</h3> +<p> + It was morning on the Blue Nile. The turbulent blue river rolled + joyously between its banks, for it was high Nile, and a swift, + light breeze was blowing—the companion of the Dawn. The vault of + the sky seemed arched at a great height above the earth, springing + clearly, without any object to break the line from the horizon of + gold sand, and full of those white, filmy, light-filled gleaming + clouds that are one of the wonders and glories of Upper Egypt and + the Soudan. It was a morning and a scene to make a man's heart rise + high in his breast, and cry out, as his eyes turned from the + level-sanded desert floor, through sunlit space, to the vaulted + roof, "After all, the world is a good house to live in." +</p> +<p> + Slowly the strong yellow sunlight poured over the plain, the bank + and the river, gilding every ripple; and, as the light grew, + hundreds of delicate shapes—the forms of the ibis and flamingo + and crane, and other river-fowl—became visible, crowding down the + dark banks, with flapping of white and crimson wings, and + stretching of legs, and opening of beaks, rustling down, shaking + their feathers, to bathe and drink of the Blue River. +</p> +<p> + Wonderful light, and miraculous, gleaming, cloud-filled sky, and + wonderful birds preening their plumage and calling to each other, + and wonderful breeze-swept water, bluer than the bluest depths of + the Indian Ocean. +</p> +<p> + It was still so early that, in the whole stretch of rollicking, + tumbling, buoyant waters between bank and bank, only one piece of + river-craft could be seen. This pushed onward, cleaving through the + little billows in the teeth of the morning breeze. It was a tiny + naphtha launch—a horrid, fussy, smoking little thing, cutting + through breeze and water, and diffusing a scent of oil and greased + iron in the pure and radiant air. A white bird on the bank looked + at it, and rose with a startled note of alarm, and a flight of + lovely-salmon-coloured colleagues followed. The others merely + looked up and paused, with their wings wide stretched, and then + went on calmly with their toilets—they had seen it before. +</p> +<p> + In the launch, of which the whole centre was taken by the + naphtha-stove—the engine by courtesy—sat a young Englishman, + whose face had that frank, attractive look of one whose thoughts + are kindly, well disposed to all the world; and at stem and stern + stood, erect and silent, the white-clothed figure of a boy from + the Soudan. Lithe, graceful forms supported long necks and + straight-featured faces, black as if carved out of smooth ebony, + and contrasting strangely with the white turbans of stiff linen + twisted deftly into a high crest above the brows. Swiftly the + little boat ran on for a mile or two against wind, with its three + silent and motionless occupants; then one boy turned, and + pronounced solemnly the two words, "Mister, Omdurman!" +</p> +<p> + This was accompanied with a gracious wave of his hand towards the + bank, as he leant forward to stop the engine, and his companion + turned the boat to land. +</p> +<p> + Omdurman, as seen from the river level, looks like nothing but a + long streak of duller yellow on the real gold of the African sand. + Its tiny, square, flat-roofed mud-houses are not, with few + exceptions, higher than six feet, and there is nothing else save + them and their dreary, yellow-brown, muddy monotony in the whole + village: not a palm, not a flower, not one blade of grass, simply a + collection of low mud-houses, with trampled mud-paths between, and + here and there an open, brown, dusty square. +</p> +<p> + The stillness and heat of the day were settling down now: the first + wild, cool youth of the morning was past, and the Englishman felt + the heat of the desert rise from the ground and strike his face, + like the blow of a flail, as he stepped on land. He expected the + Soudanese boys to follow, as they generally did on similar + excursions—one to secure the boat and sit and wait beside it, and + the other to accompany himself, carry his tripod and camera, and + act as guide and general escort. To-day the boy stood in the boat, + and addressed him earnestly: +</p> +<p> + "Boat wanted by other misters: let us go back: take them. We make + much money; come again evening, take you home." +</p> +<p> + "But, you young ruffians, what am I to do out here alone? I don't + know the way, and I want you to carry my things," expostulated the + Englishman, vainly trying to adjust a pair of blue goggles over his + eyes, smarting already in the intolerable glare from the sand, + while striving not to let drop his camera, fiercely cuddled under + one arm, and its tripod of steel legs and an overcoat balanced on + the other. +</p> +<p> + The black remained for a moment impassive, statuesque, wrapped in + reflection. Then he brightened: +</p> +<p> + "Me know," he said, suddenly springing from the boat. "Me take you + my house. Sister show you the way: sister carry mister's things." +</p> +<p> + The Englishman stared for a moment into the eager, intelligent + face, strangely handsome, though in ebony. After all, do we not + think a well-carved table beautiful, although sometimes, even + because, it is in ebony? Then <i>he</i> brightened: +</p> +<p> + "Very good; take me to your house, and let me see your sister," he + said good-humouredly; adding inwardly, "If she's anything like you, + she'll be the very thing for the camera." +</p> +<p> + They turned from the cool, rolling, billowy water inwards towards + the desert and the huts of Omdurman, and the heat rose up and + struck their cheeks each step they took. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + Merla stood that morning at her hut doorway looking out—out + towards the river she could not see, for the banks rise and the + desert falls slightly behind them. She stood on the threshold, and + the sun beat on her Eastern face, and showed it was very good. She + was sixteen, and, like her brothers who ran the naphtha launch for + the English, she was straight and erect, tall and lithe and supple, + with a wonderful stateliness and majesty of carriage, though she + had never been taught deportment nor attended physical culture + classes. Merla was beautiful, with the perfect beauty of line that + belongs to her race, and possessed the straight, high forehead, the + broad, calm brow that tells of its intelligence and nobility. She + knew, however, nothing of her own beauty. She never cared for + staring into the little squares of glass that the girls of the + village would buy in the market-place, nor coveted the long strings + of blue glass beads that the Bishareens brought in such numbers to + sell in Omdurman; nor did it specially please her to lay the beads + against her neck, and see them slide up and down on her smooth skin + as she breathed, though her companions would thus sit for hours + cross-legged before their little mirrors, breathing deep to note + how their beads rose and fell and glistened in the light. +</p> +<p> + Merla loved much better to steal out of the hut at night, when the + oil-lamp smoked against the mud wall and the air was heavy, into + the pure calm darkness of the desert, and gaze up at the stars, and + listen to the far-off tom-toms beating fitfully against the + stillness. And if ever any little coins came into her possession, + it seemed unkind to spend them on glass or beads when there was + always milk and oil needed in the house. And if, when these were + bought, there was any coin left, then her real luxury was to buy + food for the poor thin camel that lay at night in the mud-yard + behind their hut, and to go and feed it secretly in the starlight. + And she would press her hands into the soft fur of its neck as it + leant towards her, feeling that delight that springs from being + kind and loving, and being loved. The law of her life was love, a + law springing naturally in her mind, as the beauty and health in + her body. Her father, her mother, her brothers were all loved by + her; and, beyond these, the unfortunate camels and the donkeys + whose sides bled where the girths cut them as the careless + Englishmen rode them in and out of the village to and from the + Mahdi's tomb, and the lean, barking curs in the mud street that + seldom barked as she passed by. All these she loved and sympathised + with, though she had not been taught sympathy any more than she had + been taught grace. +</p> +<p> + This morning she was radiant and happy as she looked through the + quivering, yellow light that danced above the sand towards the + river. Last night she had fed the camel and caressed it, and she + had listened, half awe-struck, to the tom-toms in the distance. The + music had seemed to come to her ears with a new sound. The breeze + had blown from the river with a new kiss to her face. She was + growing into a woman, and the sap of life was rising fast and + vigorous within her, lifting her up with the boundless joy of life. + And as she looked, two white spots, a crested turban and a solar + topee, appeared over the edge of the bank, moving towards her. +</p> +<p> + "My sister!" said the Soudanese boy, with a regal air, when they + stood at the mudhouse door. And some instinct, as he was young and + foolish, made the Englishman drag off both goggles and solar topee + for a moment, and so Merla looked up and saw him with the sun + bright on his light Saxon hair and friendly blue eyes. +</p> +<p> + "Merla," went on the boy rapidly to his sister in his own tongue, + "this English mister from Khartoum must have a guide to Kerreree. I + go back to the boat: other Englishman want me. You go to Kerreree, + Show everything; carry black box for him—carry everything. Salaam, + Stanhope Mister." +</p> +<p> + And, without waiting for either assent or dissent, he swiftly, yet + without any loss of dignity or show of hurry, departed. Merla's + large eyes were downcast. She was a free woman, and came and went + unveiled, nor was it impossible for her to talk to the white + people, for her parents were poor and humble, and glad to make + piastres in any way they could. One of her sisters was a + water-carrier at the hotel in Khartoum, and she might be engaged + there also when she was older. But still she held her eyes down, + for she felt embarrassed and oppressed, and, besides, the topee and + the goggles had been replaced, and they spoilt the vision she had + seen first of the English face. +</p> +<p> + "Well, Merla, if that's your name, will you come with me?" the + Englishman said lightly. He knew the tongue well that her brothers + spoke, not in any of its refinement and subtlety, but in the + ordinary distorted way an Englishman usually speaks a foreign + tongue. +</p> +<p> + "I will ask if I may," she returned simply, in a low voice, and + drew back into the dark hut behind her. After a moment she + reappeared. "My mother and my brother have ordered it," she said + calmly. "I am ready." +</p> +<p> + Struck by the philosophic, impassive accent of her voice, and not + feeling at all flattered, the young man added in rather a nettled + tone: +</p> +<p> + "But I hope it's not disagreeable to you. You are willing to come?" +</p> +<p> + Then Merla looked at him steadily from under her calm, + widely-arching brows: "I am willing." A calm pride enwrapped all + her countenance, and it seemed as if she said it somewhat as a + victim might say, "I am willing," on being led to the altar of + sacrifice. Yet her eyes were radiant, and seemed to smile on him. +</p> +<p> + The young Englishman was puzzled, as young England mostly is by the + East, and, seeing this, the girl added, "Certainly I am willing; it + is fated I should go with you. Give me the black box." +</p> +<p> + But it goes against the grain of an Englishman to let a woman carry + his baggage, though he hires her to do it, and he held his camera + back from her. +</p> +<p> + "Take these," he said; "they are lighter," and he gave the little + tripod to her, and so they started down the mud sun-baked street + that leads through Omdurman to the desert, and out towards the + battle-ground of Kerreree. There were few people stirring; the men + had already started to their work in the fields by the Nile, or on + the river itself, and the women kept within the close darkness of + the huts mixing and baking meal for the evening's food. Merla + walked on swiftly and silently like a shadow at Stanhope's side + through the mud village, and then on into the silent heat of the + desert beyond. Here the fury of the sun was intense. The river was + out of sight, lying low between its banks. To infinite distance on + every side of them stretched the plain, and the soil here was not + golden sand, but curiously black, like powdered coal or lava. Not a + living thing moved near them; only, far away towards the horizon, + now and then passed a string of camels of some Bedouins travelling. + They walked on in silence. Stanhope found the walking heavy, as his + heeled boots sank into the loose, black soil, and it was difficult + to keep up with the swift, easy steps of the bare black feet beside + him. His duck suit was damp, and the line of flesh exposed between + cuff and glove on his wrist was burnt to a livid red already in the + smiting heat. Suddenly Merla's eyes fell on this, and she stopped. + Over her head she wore a loose veil of coarse white muslin. As she + stopped, she unwound this from her hair, and tore two strips from + it. Stanhope stopped too, well pleased at the pause. +</p> +<p> + "You burn your English skin; the flesh will come off," she said + gravely, and before he quite realised it, she had passed one of the + muslin strips round and tied it on his wrist. Stanhope's instinct + was to protest at once, but there was something in the girl's + earnestness and the tender interest with which she put the muslin + on his hand that checked him. Also the pain, whenever his sharp + cuff touched the seared skin, was unpleasant, and made him really + appreciate the improvised protection. +</p> +<p> + "Your pretty veil, Merla, you've torn it up for me," he remarked + regretfully as they started again. Merla glanced at him suddenly; + she said nothing, but the pride and joy in her eyes startled the + man beside her. He could find no more words, and silence fell + on them again till Merla roused him from a reverie by saying + indifferently: +</p> +<p> + "Look! that white heap there—bones, dead men, dead horses. This + side, white bones too; many dead here—many bones." +</p> +<p> + Stanhope looked round. Everywhere, scattered in heaps, shone the + white bones. They had come to the edge of the battlefield. Before + them rose the little hill of Teb-el-Surgham, crowned by its cairn + of black stones and rocks, surrounded by whitened bones and skulls, + from the summit of which the English watched the defeat of the + Khalifa's force. Stanhope cast his eyes over the dreary, black, + blood-soaked plain, on which there was no blade of grass, no plant, + no flower—only black rock and white bones, that shimmered together + in the torrid heat. +</p> +<p> + "Horrible! Merla, war is horrible! Come and sit down; I'm dead + tired. Let's sit down here against this rock and rest." +</p> +<p> + Stanhope threw himself down by one of the rocks at the base of the + hill, and leant back against it. The girl took her place on the + sand opposite him, with her feet tucked under her. Not far from + them lay a skull, turned upwards to the glaring sky. +</p> +<p> + "Will you let me photograph you?" he asked after a minute's gazing + at the rich dark beauty of the youthful face, "or is it against + your customs?" +</p> +<p> + "It is against our customs," Merla answered, her hands closing hard + on the tripod beside her. What terror it would mean for her to + stand before that great black box, and have that evil black eye + glare upon her for long seconds! She had seen her countrywomen flee + shrieking to their huts, when the Englishmen approached with their + black boxes. +</p> +<p> + "But you will do it for me, won't you?" answered Stanhope + persuasively, having set his heart on the picture. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I will do it for you; it is right, if you wish it," she + answered steadily. +</p> +<p> + Stanhope accepted at once such a convenient theory, and sprang up + to fix the tripod and the camera in order, and the girl sat still + on the sand watching him, cold with terror in the burning air. +</p> +<p> + "Now, pick up that skull and hold it out in your hand, so. Yes, + that's right. Now, stand a little further back. Yes, that's + perfect." +</p> +<p> + There was no difficulty in getting her to pose. The natural + attitudes of her race are all perfect poses. And Merla stood + erect, facing the camera, with the emblem of death in her hand. +</p> +<p> + "Thank you; I am very much obliged! That'll be a first-rate + picture," he said gratefully when he had finished, and Merla sat + down with a strange swimming feeling of joy rushing over her. + Stanhope was some time fussing with his camera, and putting it back + in its case out of the light. Then he wanted lunch, and drew forth + a sandwich-case and a wine-flask. The girl would only eat very + little, and would not taste the wine. Stanhope, who was very hungry + and thirsty, ate all his sandwiches and drank all the wine, and + began to feel very bright, refreshed, and exhilarated. +</p> +<p> + "Do you know you are very beautiful?" he remarked, as he stretched + himself comfortably in the shade of the rock and gazed at her, + seated sedately on the sand in front of him. +</p> +<p> + "Beautiful?" she repeated slowly, reflectively, "am I? The white + camel that lives down by the market square is beautiful, and so was + the Mahdi's tomb." +</p> +<p> + "Well, you are more beautiful even than the white camel or the + Mahdi's tomb," returned Stanhope, laughing. "And what do you think + of me?" he added curiously. "Where do I come in the list? somewhere + close after the white camel, I hope." +</p> +<p> + Then, as she gazed at him steadfastly, without replying at all, he + felt rather piqued, and took off his blue glasses and squared his + fine shoulders against the rock. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, you!" said the girl softly at last, "You are like nothing on + earth, lord! You are like the sun when he first comes over the + plain, or the moon at night, when it floats, white and shining, + through the blue spaces!" +</p> +<p> + She sat sedately still, but her breast heaved under the straight, + white tunic: her eyes were full of soft fire: her voice was low, + and quivered with enthusiasm. Stanhope flushed scarlet. Confused + and startled, he stared into her eyes, and so they sat, silent, + gazing at each other. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + That same afternoon there was a big fair or bazaar in the trampled + mud square in the centre of the Soudanese village that lies higher + up the river at the back of Khartoum. The place was gay with colour + and crowded with moving figures. From long distances, from far-off + villages down and up the river, the natives had come in, either to + sell or to buy along the wide, dusty road that went out from either + side of the square, leading each way north and south. The mud-huts + stood all round the square, backed by some date-palms, for Khartoum + and the village behind it are more favoured with shade than + sun-baked Omdurman. And in the centre of the square stood or sat + the natives, buying and selling, chaffering and gesticulating. Some + were Bishareens, with straight forms and features, and black bodies + almost covered with long strings and chains of beads. They stood + about gracefully to be admired, with their wooly hair fluffed out + at right angles to their head, for the occasion. Some were + corn-merchants, sitting leisurely before a heap of golden grain + piled up loosely on the ground. Others stood by patiently with + their fowls or goats or camels, feeding them with green fodder; and + others had vivid scarlet rugs and carpets of native make spread out + on the uneven ground. And all day long the noise of the merchants, + and the cry of the fowls, and the groan of the camels, and the + dust of the square, and the smoke of the cooking fires went up from + the bazaar. +</p> +<p> + In one corner of it, on a square of blue carpet, spread beneath his + camel's nose, sat a merchant who had been observed to come early to + the fair. He appeared to be a man of some substance, for he was + clothed, and the camel kneeling beside him was fat and sleek, and + would easily make two of the thin camels of Khartoum. Opposite him, + sitting on his heels and holding out two lean hands to tend the + small fire that smoked between them, was another, obviously poorer, + from his smaller amount of dress and flesh. +</p> +<p> + "It is true: your Merla is the pearl of the desert. I have heard it + from my mother," observed the merchant reflectively. "Still, think, + my brother, a good riding camel that can be hired out to the + Englishmen every day for thirty piastres the day; in a short time + you will feed on goat's flesh, and wear boots, with all that + money." +</p> +<p> + The black eyes of the listener sparkled, but he objected shrewdly + enough. +</p> +<p> + "My daughter eats not as much as a camel, and the English want not + a camel every day." +</p> +<p> + The stranger, fat and comfortable-looking, with a certain amount of + opulent Oriental good looks, waved his hand with a lordly gesture. +</p> +<p> + "Let it not be said that Balloon is an oppressor of the poor. Give + me the pearl, and this knife shall go with the camel, also this + piece of blue carpet—a noble offer, my brother; where will you + find such another?" +</p> +<p> + He drew from his crimson sash a longish knife, keen-bladed, with + trueblue, Eastern steel, and having a good bone-handle, on which + the fingers clasped easily. The other took the knife and gazed at + it intently. +</p> +<p> + "'Tis but a poor thing," he said at last, indifferently thrusting + it into the cloths twisted round his waist. "Yet the camel and the + carpet may suit me, and, as you say, you need not the girl at + present, I will agree, as I am a poor man, and the poor are ever + under the heel of the rich. The girl shall be sent to your house on + your return." +</p> +<p> + "I go now northwards, and shall return by the full moon; disappoint + me not, Krino or it shall be evil for you." +</p> +<p> + "I disappoint no man," replied Krino calmly, taking over from the + other the string of the camel, and the fine beast turned its dark, + soft head, and looked with liquid eyes on its new owner. +</p> +<p> + The sky began to show an orange and crimson glow behind the palms, + and many cooking-fires now gleamed like spots of blood upon the + sand, and the figures still came and went, and talked and bartered, + for the goods were not nearly all sold, and the heaps of fine corn + were still high in many places, and the fair would go on to-morrow + and the next day. But Krino got up and took his way homeward, + exulting over his bargain, and leading the camel. +</p> +<p> + At the same hour, lower down the Nile, at Omdurman, the river lay + calm now, without a ripple, and bathed in gold; a stream of liquid + gold it seemed, asleep between its deep-green banks, and only now + and then did a white-sailed felucca glide by in the golden evening + light. +</p> +<p> + Two figures came down from the desert to the Nile out of the flat, + heated air of the plain to the divine freshness by the water. + Here, in the cool, golden light, they paused slow and reluctant to + part. +</p> +<p> + "Good-night, Merla! Are you unhappy that I must go?" +</p> +<p> + The girl raised her face, and looked at him with steadfast eyes. +</p> +<p> + "The sun gilds the black rock, but the rock cannot expect the sun + to stay. I am quite happy. Good-night!" +</p> +<p> + Another moment and the little launch had sprung out from the deep + shadowed bank on to the golden surface, and was steaming, amidst + the gold and rosy ripples, back to Khartoum. +</p> +<p> + When Merla reached the little enclosure of stamped clay round her + hut, she saw a new camel feeding there, and cried out for joy. She + ran to it and clasped her hands about its velvet neck, and called + to her father, as he sat smoking at the doorway, a dozen questions. + Where had it come from? Whose was it? But the old man only chuckled + and laughed, and would not answer. +</p> +<p> + "No, no," he thought, watching her with pride, as she played round + the camel, "let the maiden wait to know the joy in store for her + till the full moon; she is but a child." +</p> +<p> + Stanhope went that night to a dance at the palace at Khartoum, but + he was late in arriving, and seemed very dull and absent-minded + when he came, and flattered the women less than usual. "He used to + be such a nice boy when he first came here," they complained + amongst themselves, "but he was quite horrid to-night—he must be + in love," and they all laughed, for every one knew there was no one + in Khartoum to fall in love with except themselves, and he had not + led any one of them to suppose she was the favoured one. +</p> +<a name="2HCH0006"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br></div> + +<h3> + CHAPTER II +</h3> +<p> + The night was calm, and in the purple, star-filled sky the moon was + rising. It was at the full. The naphtha launch was on the river, + but it moved silently; current was with it, and the light airs + favourable, so there was no need of the engine; one single sail + carried the boat easily over the buoyant water. The stars and the + rising moon gleamed in the smooth, black ripples. Stanhope sat in + the boat thinking, wrapped in a cruel reverie. +</p> +<p> + He felt he had sailed the craft of his life too near the perilous + shore of unconventionality, and now he saw the rocks ahead of him + plainly, on which it would be torn in pieces. Yet how to turn back, + or move the helm to steer away from them? +</p> +<p> + "A month ago," he thought, as his eye caught the reflection of the + rising moon in the water, "when that moon was young, I was free. + Not a soul cared for me, whether I lived or died, and I cared for + no one." Now there was one, he knew, who lived upon his coming, + whose feet ran to meet him, whose eyes strained their vision to see + his first approach. And he, too; he was no longer free. His heart + went out to that other heart, beating for him alone so truly, so + faithfully, full of such unquestioning adoration and obedience, in + mud-walled sun-parched Omdurman. +</p> +<p> + When the launch touched the bank, he sprang out and walked swiftly + up to their usual meeting-place: the deserted mud enclosure of a + deserted hut—an unlovely meeting-place enough—but filled with the + sweet air of the desert night and the royal light of the stars. +</p> +<p> + "My lord looks weary to-night," said Merla softly, after they had + greeted each other, and had sat down side by side with their backs + to the low wall. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I am tired with thinking. What is to be the end of this, + Merla? Where is our love drifting us to?" +</p> +<p> + "Why does my lord concern himself with that? We are in the hands of + Fate." +</p> +<p> + Stanhope moved impatiently. +</p> +<p> + "Our fate is what we make it." +</p> +<p> + "It is not wise to enquire about our fate," replied Merla, and he + saw her face grow grave with resolution in the dim light. "But I + can tell you, if you like, what it will be: when you are ready, you + will go back to your own people, your own life, and you will be + very happy." +</p> +<p> + "And you—?" asked Stanhope in a whisper. +</p> +<p> + "I shall then have lived my life. I shall die and be buried out + there," and she motioned to the desert. "I shall have given my lord + happiness for a time: think what delight, what honour!" +</p> +<p> + Stanhope shuddered. +</p> +<p> + "Don't, don't, I can't bear to hear you; do you ask nothing for + yourself from life?" +</p> +<p> + "Life has given me all now," returned Merla, with a proud smile on + her face. +</p> +<p> + "Why should we not go home to my land together?" said Stanhope + passionately, in that sudden revolt against the laws of custom that + stirs all humanity at times. "Why should I not take you to live + with me for always to be my wife? who would forbid me?" +</p> +<p> + Merla shook her head, and pressed hard on his hand lying beside her + on the sand. +</p> +<p> + "The sun cannot lift the black rock from the desert and take it to + dwell in the blue spaces; neither can the sun stay with the rock. + You are grieving for me; do not. I am quite happy. I accept what + must be. My life ends when you go." +</p> +<p> + For a wild moment it seemed to Stanhope that he must dare + everything and take her. After all, she was intelligent: she could + be educated. She was beautiful, youthful; and what a love she + poured out at his feet!—different in calibre, in nature, + different, from its root up, from any love he could hope to find + again—a love that asked absolutely nothing for itself, not even + the right to live, and yet would give its all unquestioningly, + unsparingly. It is not a toy to be thrown away lightly, and + Stanhope realised this. +</p> +<p> + "The blue spaces are cold and empty, Merla," he said, suddenly + catching her to his breast. "You must come with me." +</p> +<p> + "No, lord, it is impossible; you speak only for me," whispered + Merla, though she clasped his neck tightly. "You must go and live + happy, and I shall die happy; even in my grave I shall remember + your kisses." +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + An hour later, the moon was well up in the sky, though the light + was not yet brilliant, and they parted by the wall of the + cattle-byre with promises to meet on the morrow, and he turned and + left her standing in the shadow; but some instinct moved him, and + he returned and kissed her yet again, and said one more farewell; + then he took the narrow track leading down to the river, and Merla + knew that she must hasten home; for her father, who had been out in + the early evening, would be returning. Before she left she turned + back once more into the byre, and stood looking at the stars that + she had communed with so often: a great sadness fell on her + thoughts, a chill as after a final parting. As she turned to go, + her eyes fell on a grey patch on the byre floor—his coat! He had + left it behind. Merla gave a little laugh as she picked it up: the + parting seemed less final now. She would keep it till the morrow. + Would he want it? miss it? No, the night was so still and sultry; + and, throwing it over her arm, she passed onwards to her hut. +</p> +<p> + As she neared the enclosure, her heart beat rapidly. A light was + burning within the hut, and by the moonlight she saw the great + camel moving restlessly in the narrow space outside. Angry voices + reached her in sharp discussion—her father's and another. Just + inside the enclosure she paused and listened, trembling, uncertain + what this unusual clamour and strange voice might mean. +</p> +<p> + "I gave you my camel, my knife, and my carpet. Where is the Pearl I + was promised? Is not the moon at the full?" +</p> +<p> + Merla heard these words with a thrill passing through every fibre. + She knew her father had no pearl in his possession, but was not + her name "Pearl of the Desert"? Next there came some confused + murmur—seemingly words of apology—in her father's voice that she + could not catch, but the stranger interrupted angrily: +</p> +<p> + "Unhappy man! tricked seller, tricked buyer, would you know where + the Pearl is? would you know where your daughter hides? I have + heard that she has been seen with a stranger, a white-faced + stranger—I know not if he be a leper or an Englishman—" with a + bitter laugh, "but in either case I want her not. Come, give me my + knife, and I lead off my camel." +</p> +<p> + Merla's heart failed, for her father gave a shriek as he heard the + accusation, and a shower of oaths and imprecations came to her + shrinking ears. Nothing was clear any more; there was only clamour + and raving in the hut. But once she caught the words, "to the + river—does he go to the river?" and above all the storm of words + there was the awful sound of the sharpening of a knife. +</p> +<p> + Like a shadow, noiseless and silent, Merla crept swiftly, under the + shade of the camel's body, across the enclosure to the mud + partition behind which her youngest brother slept, and roused him. + "Nungoon!" she said breathlessly, gripping his shoulder, "take the + track to the river, and run for your life. You will overtake the + Englishman. Tell him this. 'Merla says: Run to the launch and get + off the land quickly, and never come back to Omdurman, or come with + a guard. They seek to kill you here.' Go, brother; run!" +</p> +<p> + The boy, startled from his sleep, gathered himself together and + rose. His sister, leaning over him with ashy face and fixed eyes, + seemed like Fate itself directing him. Moreover, Oriental youth is + accustomed to obey unquestioningly. Without a word, simply with a + sign of assent, he fled out of the enclosure, down the track to the + river. +</p> +<p> + Merla stepped back and out of the yard, and stood waiting, silent + as before; she had formed her resolution, and all fear was past. + The mats in front of the door were suddenly pushed aside, and a + streak of light fell across the yard, but it could not touch her, + sheltered by the wall. She saw her father rush out, wild-eyed, and + the long blade of the knife gleamed blue in the moonlight. +</p> +<p> + Then, as he dashed through the enclosure entrance, she moved her + feet suddenly, scraping the sand, and then fled, wrapped in + Stanhope's long light overcoat, up towards the desert, away from + the river. Krino, blinded, maddened by passion, glanced at the wall + whence came the scraping sound, and then, catching sight of a + flying form in English dress, plunged with a cry of triumph after + it. Merla fled like the wind along in the shadow of the wall, + keeping in the darkness, with her head down, fearing lest her bare + head or bare feet might betray her. But Krino's eyes were fixed on + the silvery grey of the English overcoat, and, blind to all else, + he raced on in the uncertain light with his eyes intent on the + shoulders between which he would plunge his knife. Up through the + heart of sleeping Omdurman, past silent huts and yellow walls that + gleamed pale in the moonlight, through the village to the desert, + hunted and hunter fled on, and Krino's heart rose in savage + triumph. +</p> +<p> + "Fool! he cannot escape me now; by the river—yes, but not in the + desert; he cannot escape." +</p> +<p> + And the desert was reached and entered, and still the two noiseless + shadows fled over the sand. +</p> +<p> + Merla's strength was failing: her sight was reeling; she could run + no more. Only the joy of knowing that each step led the enemy + farther from her loved one had supported her till now. Now he was + safe, he must be away on the friendly river. There had been ample + time. Not now would it be possible for Krino to reach the river + before her lover had embarked. It was well. All was well! And the + black sand spun round her in the moonlight, as she heard the hiss + of her father's breath behind her. She wavered. With a bound the + man threw himself forward. One stab, and the keen blade sank + through the flesh below the shoulder, driving her forward, and she + fell face downwards on the sand. +</p> +<p> + Blind still with fury, the Soudanese bent down, tore at the head to + drag it back that he might slash it from the body, and turned up + the face to the moonlight. Fixed in agony and triumph, it looked + back at him—the dead face of his daughter, the P<small>EARL OF THE</small> D<small>ESERT</small>. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0010"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + IV +</h2> +<br> +<p> + The last flare of the sunset was falling on the walls of Jerusalem, + staining them crimson, and flooding all the enchanting circle of + the hills that lie round the city with rosy light. Low down in one + of the depressions, where the long sun-rays could not reach, and + the olive-trees looked grey in the twilight, stood the grim, white + Monastery of the Holy Virgin. The air was sweet and cool here, far + from the pollution of the city, and the evening sky stretched fair + and radiant above the purple hills. Unbroken quiet reigned, and + only one thing in the landscape moved—the figure of a girl + ascending swiftly a narrow, stony road under the shadow of the + wall. She seemed burdened with many things that she was carrying, + and oppressed with some haunting fear, for she looked back + frequently, and then pressed on with redoubled speed. The stony + track brought her at last to the corner of the enclosure of + olive-trees belonging to the monastery; it branched here, one path + leading straight to the gates of the building, the other skirting + the olive-wood plantation, and then passing on out into the barren + hills and open country towards Jericho. The girl took the second + track, and here, under the friendly shade of the sheltering trees, + she walked more erect and easily. When she reached the farther + corner of the plantation she stopped and listened, gazing round + her. There was no sound, the light was failing, the hush deepening. + "Nicholas," she breathed in a clear whisper, leaning on the low + stone plantation wall, "are you there?" A rustling of some long + robe against bushes answered her—the olive branches were pushed + aside, and the figure of a Greek priest came from between them. + With a smile of intense joy on his face he leant over the wall, and + clasped the girl's two soft hands in his. +</p> +<p> + "Esther!" he whispered back, "you have come; you have decided then, + you are ready?" +</p> +<p> + "I am quite ready," answered the girl, pressing close to the wall + and lifting her face; the last gleam of gold light from the rising + ridge to the west touched it, and showed it was very fair. "If you + are sure it is right, if you have faith in Jehovah to lead us." +</p> +<p> + The priest's face, pale and emaciated, with the rapt look of the + visionary stamped upon it, lighted up suddenly with a new + exaltation. +</p> +<p> + "I am quite sure. Last night when I was praying, still in doubt, + before the great crucifix, I heard a voice from above saying: + 'Nicholas, you are absolved from further prayer and penance here. + Go forth with the maiden you love and serve Me in the world. The + joy of human hearts singing to Me in grateful praise is more + pleasing to Me than these groans and tears and prayers. I have + created the blue sky and the laughing seas and the green hills; go + forth and see my works, and praise Me.'" +</p> +<p> + The Jewish girl had listened intently, her face as rapt as his + while he spoke, the fire of joy glowing in her eyes. +</p> +<p> + "Come, then, at once," she murmured in an ardent whisper, and + Nicholas stepped over the low boundary into the hill road, now + wrapped in darkness. Before them still glimmered dimly the white + outlines of the monastery behind the trees. The man stood + motionless, gazing at them, the girl's hand tightly clasped in his + and held against his breast. +</p> +<p> + "The agony, the misery I have suffered behind those walls," he + muttered, "for sixteen years!" +</p> +<p> + "It is over," murmured the girl; "come away to the hills; we have + no time to lose." +</p> +<p> + She stooped to gather up the objects in the road. "I have brought + you these things," she said confusedly, hardly audibly. "Change + into them quickly, and then follow me up the road. No, I will take + all the rest," she added, as he took the bundle of clothing she + gave him and stretched out his hand for the other smaller things. + "Hasten, Nicholas, it is so dangerous here!" With this parting + entreaty she went on up the road carrying the bundles. +</p> +<p> + After she had gone a little way she paused and listened—all was + quite still—the stars now showed fitfully in the deepening purple + of the sky, a little breeze blew gently up from the wilderness + towards Jerusalem. The girl sat down by the wall, with her back + against it, and her hands clasped round her knees. Her face had a + strange, wonderful beauty as she sat waiting, white-skinned and + softly-moulded, with resolute, dark eyebrows drawn straight across + the calm forehead. A few moments passed, and then Nicholas + approached; his flowing priest's robes were gone, the high, + straight, black hat of the order was no longer on his head: it was + bare, and the long uncut hair, as the Greeks wear it, was twisted + in two thick fair coils round his head. Esther sprang up, + untwisting a broad sash from her waist. +</p> +<p> + "Take this! No wait! let me twist it round your head—yes, so. Now + it looks like a Jewish turban. You have the robe and the hat with + you?—yes, bring them, bring them," and they hurried on, fleeing + away from the monastery. Esther knew a short track across the hills + which in a little while joins the great main road to Jericho, that + descends down and down through the bare rolling hills of the + wilderness to the fair plain of the Jordan and the shores of the + Dead Sea. For the first few miles they sped on in silence with + clasped hands, the night wind rushing against their faces, and no + sound coming to their ears but the occasional whine of the hungry + hyenas, prowling over the stony, starlit hills. In the man's breast + swelled an exaltation beyond all words: it lifted him up so, that + his feet seemed flying over the rugged ground without touching it; + the night-wind filled his veins with fire: his brain seemed alight + and glowing. For years past the bare stone walls of his monk's cell + had given him pictures painted by his fevered fancy of such a walk + as this through starlit, open spaces—a walk to life and freedom. + For years his hot, caged feet had paced the stone cell floor, + aching to pass the threshold; and for the last month ever since + from amongst the olive-trees he had seen the fair Jewish girl pass + by, a new vision had come upon those white-washed walls to add its + torture to the rest. Evening after evening he had stolen out at + sunset to see her pass, as she came and went from the little + cluster of Jewish houses on the ridge beyond the monastery and + watched the sunlight play upon her brows and hair. Could this + thing, so divinely beautiful, be the creation of the devil to + destroy men's souls? His reason revolted against it. If so, the + warm sunlight and radiant sky and air, the flowers and the purple + hills, his weary eyes strained out to must be also the devil's + work, for all these things were akin, and the woman passing amongst + them was but the masterpiece made by the same hand. +</p> +<p> + "Say," he had said wearily, one night, to a monk passing him like a + silent shadow on his way to his cell. "Is all the world the work of + the devil?" +</p> +<p> + "Nay, brother, what blasphemy!" returned the other, startled beyond + measure. "It is all the work of God" and Nicholas had passed into + his cell well pleased. And the next evening he had called softly to + the masterpiece of the Creator, as she went by, and the girl, + startled and fearful at first, had spoken a few words out of sheer + pity for the hungry, lonely soul looking out so wistfully at her; + and then how soon had come other meetings, the plan to escape—that + final vision which had seemed to justify him,—and now the flight! +</p> +<p> + "Will the boat be there! will they wait for us?" he asked eagerly, + as they walked swiftly on. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I heard the boat was coming over from the Jewish Colony + beyond the Dead Sea, and I sent word down it was to take me in it + when it left again," the girl replied, "We shall get down there + to-morrow evening; we will go to old Solomon's house; he will let + us stay with him one night, and in the morning we must get down to + the shore and the boat." +</p> +<p> + Nicholas pressed her hand as they walked on. How wise she was, this + little Jewish girl! She had lived her short life in the world, and + knew her way about in it so well. And he, so much older, felt like + a child beside her, after all those long, deadening, numbing years + in the monastery. +</p> +<p> + Five miles more of the white, stony road were traversed, winding in + and out, but always descending between the barren desolate hills of + the wilderness, and then Esther said with a little sob in her + voice: +</p> +<p> + "We must stop here now and rest, I am so tired. I cannot go any + further to-night." +</p> +<p> + "Tired?" he echoed wonderingly. Could he ever feel tired now? His + feet seemed borne on wings. But he stopped, and bending over her, + lifted and carried her tenderly from the starlit road to a large + rock jutting out from the hillside. Here, in the shadow on the + farther side, they lay down, and the girl fell at once into the + deep sleep of utter bodily fatigue. The man lay open-eyed clasping + her to him, his brain on fire with freedom, listening with joy to + the cries of the wandering wild animals amongst the hills. +</p> +<p> + The following evening, late, they reached the plain. The wilderness + lay behind them, and in front, beyond the green darkness of the + trees, they knew the starlight was gleaming on the Dead Sea. The + heat down here was suffocating, and their weary feet moved on + slowly through the village—a collection of a few white flat-roofed + houses, which are all that now mark the spot where stood once the + rich, mighty city of Jericho. In the last house shone a light, and + Esther led Nicholas towards it. +</p> +<p> + Solomon was waiting for them, and had prepared for them his best + upper room—a little narrow apartment, with windows facing towards + the sea—where supper was laid, and opening from this a tiny + sleeping chamber. A swinging lamp hung over the centre table, and + Solomon's younger brother waited on them. Esther, with the dust of + the road washed from her skin, looked very fair, sitting under the + light of the lamp, her eyes glowing with the mysterious fires of + love and joy, and the two Jews sat listening to her eagerly as she + talked to them, telling them the news of her family and friends in + Jerusalem. +</p> +<p> + "If I could only go up to the city," sighed the younger man. "But I + cannot walk, and I have no horse," and he grew sullen and dejected + and said no more, while the elder continued to ask and be answered + a hundred questions about the life and doings of the city. +</p> +<p> + That night, past midnight, when the whole plain of Jericho lay + wrapped in a deep hush, and not one light gleamed in the darkness + of the village, a carriage drawn by two foam-covered horses + thundered down the last steep descent of the road from Jerusalem + into the village, and dashed through it straight to Solomon's + dwelling. Esther, asleep in the upper room, with Nicholas' head + pillowed on her shoulder, heard the clatter of wheels and awoke + suddenly, all her body growing rigid with terror. +</p> +<p> + "Nicholas, awake! they have followed us!" She sprang from the bed, + and opening the window noiselessly, looked out. The night was quite + dark, but by straining her eyes she could descry the form of a + covered carriage below, and two dark figures stood hammering on the + house-door. The sounds rang reverberating through the dwelling, and + disturbing the still, calm air without, laden with the scent of + myrtle and orange-flower. A window above opened, and the old Jew + looked out. +</p> +<p> + "Who knocks?" he called. +</p> +<p> + "Priests from Jerusalem, from the Monastery of the Holy Virgin. One + whom we seek is within; let us enter." Esther drew back into the + room, and saw Nicholas standing behind her, his face haggard with + despair. "Jehovah, then, is not with us." +</p> +<p> + Esther pressed his hand. +</p> +<p> + "Esther is with you," she murmured softly. "You shall not go back, + they shall not touch you. Give me your priest's clothing, and stay + here." +</p> +<p> + Before he could answer she had snatched up the garments and was + gone, fastening the door behind her. Outside on the stairway she + met old Solomon, coming slowly down to answer the imperative + summons from below. +</p> +<p> + "Delay all you can in admitting them," she whispered, then ran past + him, fleet of foot, up the stairs to the Jews' room—the door stood + open as Solomon had left it. She entered, and stood within in the + darkness. +</p> +<p> + "Hiram," she called softly, "you wished to go up to Jerusalem. Now + is your opportunity. Get up, put on these things, and the priests + will take you back in their carriage." She heard the man rise and + bound to the floor. +</p> +<p> + "Is that you, Esther? Have they sent from the monastery to take + Nicholas?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes," returned Esther in an agonised voice. "But you will not let + them take him? See, Hiram, they cannot hurt you; they will not + recognise you, nor suspect you here in the darkness, in the dress + of Nicholas. You need not speak. They will hasten you into the + carriage. To-morrow when they discover you, it will be too late for + them to overtake us. We shall be gone, and <i>you</i> they will not + want. They cannot put you in their monastery. They must release + you, and you—will be at the gates of Jerusalem." +</p> +<p> + Her low voice, thrilled with her agony of fear and suspense: there + was the very soul of persuasion in it. As she pleaded in the + darkness, she heard the man breathing quickly, and shuffling his + feet on the floor. He was hesitating. He longed to go up to the + city, but this seemed a dangerous expedient. Yet it would serve + Esther, and she was very fair, and was of his own kindred. There + was a noise and clamour downstairs beneath them—the sound of the + slow unbarring of bolts, and angry voices without. Esther drew + nearer, and her voice grew sharp with fear: +</p> +<p> + "Hiram, as they are pushing you to the carriage, I will throw + myself into your arms, and you shall kiss me your last farewell, as + if you were Nicholas." +</p> +<p> + In the darkness she felt that the man stretched out his hand. +</p> +<p> + "Give me the clothes; I will go." +</p> +<p> + Esther threw them into his arms, and darted out, closing the door, + and hung over the stair-rail. There was no light, but she could + hear the heavy footsteps coming up. Nearer they came, and nearer, + stumbling, and Solomon's step behind, as he followed the priests, + grumbling and protesting. Now they were almost opposite the door of + the room where Nicholas crouched waiting. +</p> +<p> + "He is not here! he is not here!" wailed out Esther's voice + suddenly from above, and the priests hearing her, rushed up the + stairs to where she stood, passing by, forgotten, the door of the + lower room. +</p> +<p> + Rigid and tense she stood before the door as if guarding it, her + arms outstretched before it. The first priest pushed her roughly on + one side, the second opened the door, and beyond, dimly outlined + against the open window square, was visible the draped figure and + heavy hat of a priest. With a shout of triumph they darted forward, + and Esther gave a great cry of wild despair. The priests dragged + him out unresisting, and forced him down the stairs. No word came + from him. Solomon, leaning back against the wall to let them pass, + stretched out his hand to the weeping Esther; but she passed him, + crying and hurrying after her lover. Down in the passage the large + door stood wide, showing the waiting carriage in the dim starlight + of the sultry night. As they pushed him to the door, he suddenly + wrested himself free for an instant, and Esther rushed into his + arms. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, Nicholas, Nicholas! Good-bye!" +</p> +<p> + The priests seized her by the shoulder, wrenching her away, and one + hurled her with a fury of loathing back into the darkness of the + passage. Then they forced their prisoner forward, stumbling, + resisting, to the carriage. The door snapped to, the horses plunged + forward, and the carriage thundered away into the night. Esther + picked herself up from where she had fallen in the passage, and + bruised and trembling, but with a joyous smile, rushed up the + narrow stairway. +</p> +<p> + "Solomon!" she said, whispering in the old Jew's ear, "Hiram has + gone in the place of Nicholas! Nicholas is safe here. Oh, help us + to get to the sea!" +</p> +<p> + Solomon shook with laughter as he heard—for a Jew loves dearly a + clever ruse—and he stroked Esther's soft hair as she stood by him. +</p> +<p> + "Light us a lamp, and let us get away to the shore, that we can + embark and be away on the water at dawn, before they discover it + and return," Then she passed by him and entered the room where + Nicholas awaited her. Solomon trimmed a lamp and a lantern for + them, and put up some bread and meat for their journey, his + shoulders shaking with inward chuckles as he did so. +</p> +<p> + "Hiram a priest!" he repeated to himself; "that is a joke indeed, + and Esther, what a quick brain she has—a true daughter of Israel!" + and Esther was murmuring within to Nicholas: +</p> +<p> + "Jehovah has saved us. Now let us hasten down to the sea." +</p> +<p> + The next morning, when the dawn broke soft and rosy over the fair + plain of Jericho, the sea that is called the Dead Sea, yet seems, + in its glorious wealth of colour and sparkling brilliance to be + rather the emblem of Life, glowed and flashed like a huge sapphire + in the sun's rays, and at its calm edge, that meets the shore + without a ripple, swayed gently the ship of the pilgrims from the + Jewish Colony. +</p> +<p> + Nicholas and Esther sat side by side watching the pilgrims' oars + dip quietly in perfect rhythm as they sang. And the song of praise + went up through the golden air, and echoed back to the sunny, + silent strand vanishing behind them. +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0011"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + V +</h2> +<br> +<p> + Dawn was breaking over the desert. Steadily the triumphant rose + spread upward in the pale opalescent sky, and broad waves of light + rippled slowly over the wide level plain. The little keen breeze of + the morning, the herald of the dawn that runs ever in front of its + chariot, stirred the branches of the palm trees by the Nile, and + played a moment idly with the flap of a tent door before it passed + onward. Here, some two miles away from cool Assouan, lying out in + the desert, was the Bishâreen encampment, and the last small tent + of the long line had its door open, and the flap of the awning + loose, with which the morning wind stopped to play. +</p> +<p> + Within, seated cross-legged on the scarlet rug and sheepskin which + formed their bed, were two girls braiding their hair before a tiny + square of glass, which each in turn held up for the other. +</p> +<p> + "How cold the morning is! How I hate to hear the wind shake the + door flaps," one said and shivered. +</p> +<p> + "Doolga, don't; you are holding the glass all crooked; I cannot see + myself. Why should you feel cold this morning of all others, when + Sheik Ilbrahim dar Awaz is coming to claim you?" returned the + other, and she laughed softly, with her slim fingers busy trying to + bind up and restrain her dusky cloud of hair. +</p> +<p> + How lovely she was, this young Bishâreen, who had looked on the + yearly fall of the Nile but fifteen times—lovely as the tall + slender palm of the oasis, or the gold light on the river at + sunset. Tall and straight, with the stately carriage and proud head + of her race; smooth and supple, with every limb faultlessly moulded + under the clear, lustrous skin. +</p> +<p> + "Silka, Silka! I cannot marry the Sheik. I am in terror of him. + Help me, save me!" +</p> +<p> + The little glass fell on the blanket between them. In the warm rose + glow now filling the tent, Doolga's face was ashen-coloured. + Awe-struck and startled Silka gazed wide-eyed upon her. For an + instant the two girls sat staring in silence into each other's + eyes. So much alike they were that one face seemed the reflection + of the other, only there was a bloom, a light, a sweetness on + Silka's that was missing in the other. +</p> +<p> + "Why?" she breathed after that first startled silence, "what is the + matter, Doolga? Tell me; tell me everything." +</p> +<p> + She drew nearer her sister, and put one arm round her. The pink + light from without, striking through the tent canvas, touched her + face, showing its delicately-cut, exquisite features and the tender + love filling the eyes. +</p> +<p> + "I hate the Sheik!" sobbed Doolga, putting down her head on the + other's soft bare shoulder; "I don't want him. I love <i>him</i>!" +</p> +<p> + And Silka felt that everything indeed was told. The incoherent, + inexplicable words were clear enough to her. She trembled all over, + and the two girls clung together in the little tent, while the + noise of a large encampment awakening grew about them outside. +</p> +<p> + Suddenly Doolga grew calm; she lifted her face, and Silka saw it + was grey, with great lines of anguish cut in it, and her heart + seemed to contract with pain, for she loved Doolga better than + anything she knew in the world, and Doolga's suffering was her + suffering. +</p> +<p> + "I thought, father thought you would be glad to marry the Sheik," + she faltered. +</p> +<p> + "I cannot. I will throw myself into the Nile rather; Silka, help + me!" +</p> +<p> + "How can I?" +</p> +<p> + "<i>You</i> marry the Sheik!" Doolga's eyes were alight with flame. + Something of the tiger's glare shone in them. She bent forward and + seized the other girl's wrists in a feverish grip. The clasp hurt + and burnt like fire. Silka drew back instinctively, paling with + surprise. +</p> +<p> + "I marry the Sheik?" she repeated, "but—" +</p> +<p> + "Yes, you <i>must</i>! Oh, Silka, you have always loved me: save me now. + I cannot. It will be death to me. I love—I love—" she hesitated; + then added, "so much. You love no one. Why not then the Sheik? Do + this for me. I will think of you, bless you always. Save me from + death; save me from the Nile!" +</p> +<p> + The burning words, uttered low, in that strange, strained voice she + hardly recognised, fell upon Silka like drops of molten lead. Her + sister seemed mad: her eyes started forward from her livid face: + her clasp on Silka's wrists gripped like iron. Silka's heart was + overwhelmed with pity and distress. +</p> +<p> + "How can I?" she murmured back, bewildered by the sudden revelation + of misery in the other—this other that had grown up with her, + played with her, slept with her side by side through the soft, hot + nights when they had lain counting the stars through a chink in the + tent. Side by side their bodies had nestled together, and side by + side their hearts had always been. +</p> +<p> + "You have but to unveil your face to the Sheik," returned the other + quickly, eagerly, almost furiously, "and he will take you instead + of me. Think, Silka! the head of the tribe, fifty camels, a + thousand goats—" She stopped in her eager outpour of persuasion. + Silka was looking at her straight from under her dark, level brows, + her lips curled in a sorrowful disdain. +</p> +<p> + "Have his riches any weight with you, Doolga? Why do you offer them + to me?" she said proudly. +</p> +<p> + "Because you are free: you do not love," impetuously returned the + other with glib, persistent vehemence. "I would marry the Sheik, I + would prize his flocks, his riches; but I love—I love—I cannot!" +</p> +<p> + "Whom do you love so much?" replied Silka sadly. "Why have you not + told me? Who is he?" +</p> +<p> + The girls were seated on the bed in one corner of the tent close + beside its stretched canvas wall. There was a little eyelet, a + square hole with a flap buttoned down over it, on a level with + their heads. At Silka's question Doolga turned to the canvas, and, + with an impatient movement, tore up the flap and looked out. The + plain was bathed in gold: above, the pure, pink glow still hung in + the limpid sky. The encampment was astir. The tents were open, and + little cooking fires, sending up their spirals of blue smoke were + dotted over the sand. At a few paces' distance from the main row of + tents, the camels, lying down, made a velvet-like patch of shade on + the gleaming gold of the sand, and herds of white goats stood near, + their silky coats flashing in the morning sunlight. Silka looked + out, too, over her sister's shoulder. She saw the burnished gold of + the plain and the luminous sky, and between these two a figure + that stood by a low brown tent, with the sunlight falling full on + its noble brow and the straight profile turned towards them. Doolga + wrung Silka's hand, that she still clutched, as they knelt side by + side on the sheepskin looking through the eyelet. +</p> +<p> + "That is he!" she said, and Silka's lips parted suddenly in a + little scream of pain. +</p> +<p> + "What is the matter?" asked Doolga roughly, drawing her back from + the aperture, and letting the flap fall. +</p> +<p> + "You hurt me," replied Silka. "Is that the one you love?" Her voice + sounded tremulous: her eyes, fixed on Doolga, seemed to widen with + increasing pain. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, that is he; that is Melun," answered Doolga softly. "Is he + not handsome, wonderful? Why do you stare so? Might not any girl + love him?" +</p> +<p> + A little smile played round Silka's lips. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, indeed, any girl might love him," she answered. +</p> +<p> + "But not as I do—no, never! Oh, Silka, I cannot tell you how I + love him. More than the Nile, more than the stars, more than we + have ever loved each other! I have met him often when I went to + draw water, and sometimes we have stayed together in the + palm-grove. I was so happy till father sold me to the Sheik; and + now I must part from Melun for ever! Do not make me, dear, darling + Silka; do not send me to the Nile!" She spoke with increasing + excitement, with passionate intensity. She was close to Silka, and + she laid one arm softly round her neck and put her face close to + hers. Such a beautiful oval face it was!—the face that Silka + loved: as she looked at it, her heart melted within her. +</p> +<p> + "See, dearest Silka," continued the other coaxingly, "you have + nothing to do but to unveil before the Sheik; you are just like me, + only a thousand times lovelier. He will not want me then, but you. + You can say to our father: As I am fairer than my sister, he will + give you two more camels. Father will be pleased with the camels, + and I shall be left free to marry Melun." +</p> +<p> + "But suppose I don't want to marry the Sheik either," said Silka, + slowly stroking the curls of the sheepskin as she looked down upon + it. +</p> +<p> + "But why should you not? he has flocks and herds; he will give you + necklets and bracelets, and a camel to ride, and take you to the + oasis? Why should you mind?" +</p> +<p> + "It is late, Doolga. Father will be returning soon. Go, fill your + urns at the well." +</p> +<p> + "But will you promise—?" +</p> +<p> + "I can promise nothing yet. Go, go, leave me, you must let me think + a little." +</p> +<p> + Doolga got up well satisfied. She knew Silka had never refused her + anything since they had first played as babies together in the + sand. Silka loved her. Silka had never denied her anything. +</p> +<p> + She took her large earthenware jar, poised it on her shoulder, and + went out of the tent into the hot light. Silka lay on the sheepskin + where her sister had left her, and turned her face to it, shaken + with a storm of feeling that convulsed her slender body from head + to foot. She heard none of the cheerful sounds of life stirring + round the tent; she heard only Doolga's threat of the Nile, her + passionate pleading for help. Her face was buried in the sheepskin, + yet she saw plainly in the wall of darkness before her eyeballs + the figure of the Bishâreen standing out against the pink light of + the morning sky. So it was Melun that Doolga loved! And to Melun + all her own passionate impulsive heart had been given through her + eyes. Had she not, morning after morning, gazed out through the + square eyelet to catch a glimpse of him as he came from his tent, + dressed in his snowy white linen tunic, and with countless strings + of coloured beads twisted round the firm column of his throat and + hanging from his arms? Melun, the necklace-seller of Assouan! + Melun, that the foreign tourists stopped to gaze after, as he + walked with slow and stately steps beneath the lebek trees on the + "boulvard" by the Nile. Young and straight and slender, with a + beautiful face and form, he never offered his wares for sale. He + simply stood and looked at the tourists, and they came and bought + largely. They came up to him with curious eyes to chaffer for his + blue-glass beads, and stare at his smooth, perfectly-moulded arms + and throat, at the wonderfully straight features, and the lofty + carriage of his head, at the thick hair, like fine, black wool, + that waved above his forehead and clustered round the nape of his + neck, interwoven with his brilliant blue beads. Ah! how she loved + Melun! how she had dreamed of the day when her elder sister, + happily married, she herself could go to her father and say, "Let + Melun, the necklace-seller, come to the tent and see my face." And + now, not for him, but for the old hard-visaged Sheik, she was asked + to unveil. "I cannot do it; no, I cannot," she muttered to herself, + and the thought of Melun came to her softly. "I have but to look at + him, and he must love me; he is mine." Did not her mirror tell her + this each morning? Had not her sister but now said the same? She + smiled to herself, and balm seemed poured through her. Then there + came another thought piercing her like a dagger. Melun is not mine, + but hers. She loves him; he loves her. They have met in the + palm-grove. Never, never, could she unveil for him now. He must + never see her. Though he loved her a thousand times, yet would + she never take him from Doolga. Doolga, bright, graceful, and + beautiful, the light of her eyes, the joy of the tent! could she + bear to see her brought through the door cold, motionless, + lifeless, killed by the embrace of the Nile? +</p> +<p> + When Doolga returned with the flush of warmth on her cheek and the + jar full of shimmering water on her shoulder, Silka was sitting + upright on the bed with dry, wide eyes. One glance at her told + Doolga that she herself was free, that the other would take up her + burden and bear it for her. She crossed over with a quick beautiful + movement, lithe, free, untamed. +</p> +<p> + "Darling Silka, you will consent? you will promise?" +</p> +<p> + "Do you meet him often in the palm-grove?" returned Silka; it was + now her eyes that were full of flame as she met her sister's. +</p> +<p> + "Why—Melun? Yes, whenever it was possible. To-night there will be + no moon; I was going, but why should you ask?" She bent forward + quickly, eagerly, some faint suspicion stirring in her. +</p> +<p> + "If I do this for you—if I save you—if I show myself to the + Sheik, then you must let me go to the palm-grove to-night." +</p> +<p> + Doolga fell back from her, surprise and terror and horror mingling + in her face. She clasped her small, soft hands together and wrung + them. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, Silka! you know, if he sees you, he will not look at me again; + he will not care." +</p> +<p> + Silka smiled a slow, painful smile. +</p> +<p> + "Do you not see?" she said in a whisper. "I shall go as you. Who + will know it is not you? Not Melun. He will be expecting you! he + has never seen me. I will not betray myself nor you, but this is my + condition. To-morrow I go in your stead to the Sheik; to-night, I + go in your stead to Melun." +</p> +<p> + Doolga stared at her, barely comprehending. +</p> +<p> + "But why—why?" she stammered in return. +</p> +<p> + "I go to the Sheik in your stead because I love you, and to Melun + in your stead because I love him," replied Silka firmly. +</p> +<p> + There was a smile in her eyes, but her lips were pale, compressed, + and sad. Doolga gazed at her in silence, both hands clasped tightly + now over her swelling breast. Astonishment, gratitude, mistrust, + and jealousy were all struggling together within it for mastery. +</p> +<p> + "You love Melun too?" she said at last. "Then why do you not take + him? One glance from you and he is yours." +</p> +<p> + "He was yours first," answered Silka miserably. "I cannot take him + from you." +</p> +<p> + "And you will marry the Sheik to save me?" +</p> +<p> + "Yes," replied Silka. +</p> +<p> + Then Doolga fell on her knees and thanked Silka and kissed her, and + Doolga's kisses were very sweet, and while those lips pressed hers + Silka forgot everything else in the world. At last Doolga said in a + sudden recrudescence of jealousy: +</p> +<p> + "In the grove to-night you will not—" and the rest was whispered. +</p> +<p> + "No," answered Silka; "I am the bride of the Sheik. You need fear + nothing. But I must see Melun; all my life long I shall feed on + your happiness. There will be nothing else for me. I shall live on + it. To do this I must have a vision of it before I go, and it will + stay by me for ever." +</p> +<p> + That afternoon the tent was gay with unrolled silks and scarlet + rugs, and coffee stood out in little porcelain cups upon the floor, + for the Sheik Ilbrahim had come to the final parley for his bride. + He sat before the coffee-cups on a black goat-skin, the pipe of + honour placed beside him. A grave, quiet man, with kind eyes, but + already far on in the winter of life. Opposite him sat his host, + the owner of the tent and father of the girls. Shrewd-eyed, + keen-faced, quietly he did his bargaining. Earlier in the day the + elder girl had laid the plan before him: herself for Melun, the + necklace-seller of Assouan, who owned neither camels nor goats, but + would pay well in silver straight from the hands of the tourists; + her younger sister for the Sheik, who would give doubtless two more + camels for her wonderful beauty. The father listened placidly. It + was not a bad bargain. +</p> +<p> + "But," he answered finally, "why should you not go to the Sheik now + for two camels and by and by another will come for your sister and + give four camels. Then shall I have had six for the two of you." +</p> +<p> + "But she may die," objected the ready Doolga, the keen-witted + daughter of her father. "Better secure the camels now, father." +</p> +<p> + "True, she may die, and the bargain be lost," mused the father, + and at last he spread out his hands with a gesture of conclusion. +</p> +<p> + "It is for the Sheik to decide," he said merely, and Doolga was + content. She knew beforehand what the Sheik would decide when he + saw her sister. Now the two girls sat clasped in each other's arms + behind a curtain hung across a corner of the tent, and waited + silently till they should be summoned. +</p> +<p> + "If she be fairer than your daughter Doolga," they heard the Sheik + say good-humouredly, "she must be fair indeed, and worth four + camels. Let me see her." +</p> +<p> + At those words Silka rose and stepped from behind the little + curtain. With timid steps she came forward to the centre of the + tent. A linen tunic clasped round the base of her throat fell + almost to her ankles, caught lightly in at the waist by a scarlet + cord; loose sleeves falling from the shoulder half-concealed her + rounded arms; but her lovely face, with its arching brows and + liquid eyes, looked out unveiled from her frame of cloudy hair, and + drew the Sheik's heart towards her. Wrapt in the enthusiasm of the + holiest of all loves, that of sister for sister, tense with the + ardour of her sacrifice, a light shone out from the tender soul + within that fired all her beauty, making it burn like the sun, and + intoxicate like wine. +</p> +<p> + Her father eyed her, and wished he had asked five camels. +</p> +<p> + The Sheik stretched out his right hand towards her. +</p> +<p> + "Are you pleased to come, my daughter, to the oasis of roses with + me?" +</p> +<p> + "My lord beholds his slave," answered Silka, and her eyes were full + of light, and her lips were curved in smiles. +</p> +<p> + "My camels, four of the best, will find their stable behind your + tent to-night," said the Sheik to her father, and he filled the cup + he had drunk from and handed it to the girl. Silka raised it to her + lips. +</p> +<p> + "Does it please my lord that he fetch me to-morrow, and leave me in + my father's tent to-night?" +</p> +<p> + The Sheik laughed good-naturedly, his eyes fixed on the pleading, + youthful face. +</p> +<p> + "It pleases me not to leave you; but if you ask me, little one, I + will not refuse. Let it be so." +</p> +<p> + As he spoke Silka drained the coffee-cup he had given her, and by + so doing bound herself to him henceforward. +</p> +<p> + There was no moon that night; it was dark with the darkness of the + desert, and the splendour of its million stars. As Silka came + softly from the tent she looked upwards; the wild heaving of her + bosom seemed repeated in that restless, pulsing light above. The + soft breath of the desert came to her; it whispered of Melun + waiting for her in the palm-grove. How happy she was! This was + life: one night of life was hers—no more. With the dawn came the + end. This was her first—her last—night of life, but how exquisite + it was! The voice of the desert sang in her ears, the light soft + sand caressed her flying feet. Within bounded her heart, buoyant + with leaping joy. Never had she realised the strength of her swift, + straight ankles—never till now the free, joyous power in her + supple limbs. +</p> +<p> + Before her rose the palm-grove, distinct in all its beauty of + feathery-topped trees, against the gorgeous starlit sky. By her + side gleamed now the line of the river, silver in the starlight; + smooth and lovely, studded with its fierce black rocks, flanked by + its orange sand, and here and there, on its edge in the radiant + darkness, rose a lofty palm lifting its swaying branches towards + the jewelled sky. Silka looked at the river curiously. Now she was + keenly alive; life was sharp and alert in every fibre, but it was + the last. This night of life was also a night of good-byes. + To-morrow she would look on the river again, but she would be dead + then—dead to joy and to love; it would only be Doolga who would be + living rich in both these gifts—gifts given by her. The thought + ran through her with a tumultuous gladness. +</p> +<p> + She entered the palm-grove and went straight to the tree that + Doolga had told her of, a withered palm. A figure sat at the foot + of the tree. The starlight gleamed on its white clothing. Silka's + feet stopped mechanically as she saw him; her heart beat so that + she could scarcely breathe; but he had caught sight of her, and + sprang to his feet and came towards her. How wonderful he was with + his fine head set on that long, firm throat, and how sweet the face + when his beautiful mouth broke into smiles as he saw her! +</p> +<p> + "Doolga!" he exclaimed, and then paused. She heard the little note + of wonder, of joy, in his voice, as she looked up at him in the + soft starlight, filtered through the palms. She was close to him, + and his voice, his presence was a new wonder to her. +</p> +<p> + "You are lovelier to-night than ever before. You have a new beauty, + what is it?" and he stretched out his arms passionately to her and + enfolded her in them close to his breast and kissed her. Then in + one moment did the rose of life, that unfolds slowly for most + mortals petal by petal, bloom suddenly for her whole and complete, + and fill her with its wild fragrance, overwhelming her senses. The + happiness of a hundred lives was compressed into that one perfect + moment when his lips touched hers, and she saw his face hang over + hers in the starlight, blazing with the fires of love. +</p> +<p> + "This then is life," she thought, as she put her arms round his + neck. "This is what I am giving to Doolga." +</p> +<p> + "Am I really more beautiful to-night than I have been?" she asked + presently, as they sat crouched close side by side at the foot of + the palm, looking towards the silver river. +</p> +<p> + "A thousand times!" he answered passionately. "I have never loved + you, never seen you as I do to-night." +</p> +<p> + "Then you must always remember me as you see me now. However Doolga + looks to you in the future, always remember this night, and how you + loved her then." +</p> +<p> + And he took her more closely into his arms, and pressed kisses on + her eyes, and told her in low murmured words of the tent he was + preparing for her, pitched where the cool breeze from the Nile + would reach them, and of the coming sunsets when she would sit + awaiting his return in the doorway, and of the still radiant hours + of the desert night which would pass over them full of delirious + joys; and the girl listened and lived out her life in those moments + against his heart. And ever as she listened, the thought of the + Sheik and his withered arms rose before her. Still it was Doolga's + future she looked into, the secrets of Doolga's happiness she + learned. As often as he murmured, "Doolga!" and caressed her, a + wave of joy passed through her. +</p> +<p> + Three hours before the dawn they parted, and with slow, sad steps + she returned to her father's tent. Her strength was spent. Life + and she had finally separated. Entering the tent with noiseless + feet, no sound disturbed the sleeping chief, and she crept to where + her sister sat up, wild-eyed and sleepless, on the bed. +</p> +<p> + "This he gave to Doolga," she said, with her lips pressed to + Doolga's ear, and passed over her head a necklace of faultless + beads of jade. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + The following day, when the last flare of the sunset lit up the sky + with flame, and the delicate branches of the palms of the oasis + showed before them tipped with gold, the Sheik Ilbrahim bent over + his bride sitting before him on the camel, decked out with gold + ornaments in her hair. He saw her smiling, and a glory that was not + of the sunset on her face. +</p> +<p> + "Of what is my beloved one thinking?" he asked her. +</p> +<p> + She looked up, but she did not see his face above her. She saw only + the tent where the wind from the Nile could come, and Doolga within + radiant with the joy she had given her. +</p> +<p> + "Of what should your slave be thinking, lord," she answered, "but + love and happiness?" +</p> +<hr> +<a name="2H_4_0012"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> + +<div style="height: 4em;"><br><br><br><br></div> + +<h2> + VI +</h2> +<br> +<p> + It was evening. A sky of purest emerald, luminous, transparent, and + divinely calm, stretched over the city of Damascus, that lies in + its white glory, wrapped round by its mantle of foliage, in the + heart of the burning desert—unhurt, cool, invulnerable in the jaws + of the all-devouring desert sand. In the East, with the first cool + breath of evening comes a spirit of rejoicing: the heat and burden + of the day are over, and there is one hour of pure delight before + the darkness. This hour had come to Damascus: the roses lifted + their heads in the garden, the birds burst into joyous floods of + song, and the trees waved and spread their branches to the little + breeze that came rippling through the crystal air. +</p> +<p> + Almost on the confines of the city, where the belt of protecting + verdure grows thin and the gaunt face of the desert presses against + the city walls, rose the square, white dwelling of Ahmed Ali, and + his garden was the largest and most beautiful of the city. High + white walls enclosed it on every side, and from the broad, + travelled highway that ran beside it the dusty and wearied wayfarer + often lifted his eyes to the profusion of gay roses, the syringa, + and star-eyed jasmine that tumbled jubilantly over the edge, and + hung their scented wreaths far above his head. The tinkling of a + fountain could be heard within, and the mad rapture of song from + the birds in the evening, when the scent of the orange blossom + stole softly out on the radiant golden air. On the other side of + the garden was a grove of orange-trees. The rich, glossy, green + foliage rose in dark masses above the high wall, and some + inquisitive, encroaching boughs stretched over and occasionally + dropped their golden fruit into Ahmed's garden. On the inside of + the old, moss-grown wall were numerous buttresses, and in these + angles and corners, sheltered from any breeze, the roses and the + small fruit-trees fairly rioted together, blending their masses of + pink and white bloom. +</p> +<p> + On this evening, when the sky shone like one sheet of purest + mother-of-pearl, green and rose and faint purple, the garden was + very still; the only sound was the murmur of the falling water, the + coo of some white doves in a pear-tree, and a very light step + pacing on the tiny narrow path that wound its way round the whole + garden amongst the rose-bushes and lemon-trees. +</p> +<p> + Dilama, the youngest of the ladies of the harem, was walking in the + garden with her white veil thrown back and a smile on her small, + red, curling lips. She stooped here and there to gather a flower + whenever a bud or blossom of particular beauty caught her eye, and + fastened now one against her thick brown hair, and now one or two + upon the rich-embroidered muslin that covered the upper part of her + bosom. She was intensely happy: in the spring at Damascus, at + seventeen and in love, who would not be happy? The fires of youth + and love and joy burned in her flesh and danced in her veins and + shone in her eyes, and she sang and smiled to herself as she + gathered the flowers. She was a Druze woman, and gifted with the + wonderful beauty that Nature has showered on the women of Syria. + Skins that the most perfect Saxon skin of milk and rose can + scarcely rival are wedded to eyes of Eastern midnight and brown + tresses filled with shining lights of red and gold. She had been + born in the fierce, barren mountains lying behind Beirut, and at + eight years old had drifted—part of the spoils of a raid—into the + keeping of Ahmed Ali, the richest landowner and merchant of + Damascus. He was a Turk, of pure Turkish blood, and with the large, + generous heart and the kindly nature of the Turk. All the life that + owed him allegiance, that was supported by his hand, was happy and + well cared for—from the magnificent black horses, ignorant of whip + and spur, that filled his stables, and the dogs that lay peacefully + about in his palace, to the beauties of the harem, who tripped + about gaily singing and laughing in their cool halls and shaded + garden. Where the Turk rules there is usually peace, for his nature + is pacific, and in the palace of Ahmed there was joy and peace and + love and pleasure in abundance. There were seven ladies of the + harem, including Dilama, and six of these were happy wives of + Ahmed. Each had one or more sons, handsome, large-eyed, sedate + little Mohammedans, who were being trained by Turkish mothers in + all sorts of gentle ways and manners—in thought and care for + others, in courtesy and kindness; and who were very different in + their childish work and play from the brawling, selfish, cruel + little monsters that European children of the same age mostly are. + But Dilama was not yet Ahmed's wife; she loved him most truly and + deeply as an affectionate daughter. For who could not love Ahmed? + There was a charm in his stately beauty of face and figure, in the + kind musical voice, in the eyes so large and dark and gentle, that + was irresistible. But to Dilama he was something far above her: her + king, her lord indeed, for whom she would lay down life itself + without question, but not the man to whom her ardent simple nature + had turned for love. Ahmed had not sought her. When first she came + to his palace she had been too young except for him to treat as + a pretty child, and the relationship of father and daughter + then established had never yet been broken in upon. And the + light-hearted, sunny-natured Druze girl had taken life just as she + found it, regarding herself as Ahmed's daughter, and rejoicing in + her home of love and beauty she ceased to remember that one day he + would inevitably claim her as his wife, and that that day must be + the beginning or the end of happiness just as she prepared for it. + But she did not prepare for it, she ignored it: flitting like some + golden butterfly through the pleasant hours, and growing fairer + every day, so that the harem women looked at her with a little + sinking of the heart yet no ill-will, and said amongst themselves, + "Surely Ahmed must choose her soon." But Ahmed loved at that time + with his whole soul a Turkish woman, and she was to give him + shortly a second child, and for fear of disturbing her peace of + mind Ahmed remained in the Selamlik, and would not visit his other + wives, nor send for Dilama, though his eyes, like the others, noted + her growing beauty day by day. +</p> +<p> + "I will wait in patience," he thought, looking out one morning at + sunrise, and watching Dilama playing with the white doves on the + basin edge of the fountain. "I will wait till Buldoula is well and + strong again. She would fret now, and think I was forgetting her in + a new love if I call Dilama to me yet. I will wait till her second + son is born, and then in her joy and pride she will not be jealous + of the new wife." +</p> +<p> + So he waited, but in the game of love he that waits is ever the + loser. That night, when the moon was rising over the white and deep + green of Damascus, Dilama walked, humming to herself, in the + garden, full of a great leaping desire, born of her youth and fine + health and the breath of the May night, to love and be loved. + Suddenly, when she came to the corner, under the drooping boughs of + the grove without the garden, an orange fell, and, just escaping + her head struck her heavily on her bosom. With a great shock she + stood still, looking up, and there, on the summit of the high wall, + amid the green boughs, was a man sitting, leaning over down towards + her, with fiery eyes looking upon her from under a dark green + turban. +</p> +<p> + "It is death to be here," she whispered, her face pallid in the + moonlight, "do not stay;" yet her whole being leapt up with hope + that he would disobey. The man laughed softly. +</p> +<p> + "It is life to look on you," he said merely, and to her terrified + joy and horrified delight he slid down between the lemon-trees and + the wall, and stood before her in the angle it made, where two + buttresses jutting forward hid him from all view unless one stood + directly opposite. +</p> +<p> + Dilama shook from head to foot; in one fierce, sweeping rush, + love passed over and through her as she stood staring with wild + dilated eyes on the form before her. Tall, tall as Ahmed, with + all the grace and strength of youth, lithe and supple, with a + straight-lined, dark-browed face above a stately throat, and dark + kindling eyes, wells of living fire that called all her soul and + heart and womanhood into life. +</p> +<p> + "I have often watched you walking in the garden," he murmured, + gently taking in his, one nerveless hand. "I come from your village + in the hills, where you were taken from long ago. I am a Druze," + and he threw his head higher, as the stag of the forest throws his + at the first note of the challenge. Dilama knew well that he was + of her own people. Infant memories, instinctive, implanted + consciousness told her this without the aid of Druze clothing, or + the short, gay dagger thrust into his waist-sash. +</p> +<p> + "I think you are not yet the wife of Ahmed Ali?" he went on, as + she simply trembled in silence, wave after wave of emotion passing + through her, striking her heart and choking her voice. "Tell me?" +</p> +<p> + Dilama shook her head, and a triumphant smile curved the handsome + lips before her. +</p> +<p> + "I knew it; you are mine," he said, in reply, and, bending over her + as she stood shrinking, on the verge of fainting, between terror + and wonder and joy, he kissed her on the lips, not roughly—even + gently—but with such a fire of life on his that it seemed to the + girl, in the destruction of all her usual feelings, in the havoc of + the new ones called in their place, that the actual moment of + dissolution had come. +</p> +<p> + That had been some three weeks ago, and now, on this soft, pearly + evening, she was waiting eagerly for the sky to deepen, and the + light of the stars to sharpen, and the orange to fall over the + wall. For the Druze had come many times, and no one had discovered + the lovers, screened by masses of roses in the buttress-sheltered + corner of the wall. In fact, for the last weeks no one had had time + or thought for anything but Buldoula, who lay sick within the + palace walls, and attendants waited anxiously or ran hither and + thither on various errands, and Ahmed was in the depths of anxiety; + and no one thought about Dilama or paid any attention to her, and + she was radiantly happy and self-engrossed, and came and went + between the garden and her own little chamber as she listed, + undisturbed. And this evening, as usual, she slipped unobserved + amongst the roses into the corner of the buttressed wall. A moment + after the boughs overhead parted, and the lithe Druze dropped down + noiselessly beside her. She put her gold braceleted arms round his + strong brown neck, and pressed her silken-covered bosom hard + against his rough cotton tunic. A great rush of rosy light flooded + all the sky for some minutes, then began to pale softly before the + approach of the lustrous purple dark. +</p> +<p> + In the palace a light behind one of the mushrabeared windows was + extinguished; there was the sound of the scurry of feet, and then a + long wail came out from the building, rending the pink-hued + twilight. +</p> +<p> + "Buldoula is dead!" remarked Dilama simply, as the lovers crouched + together between the wall and the roses. It meant nothing to her, + enclosed in the happy warmth of her lover's arms; death had no + meaning for her yet, hardly seventeen years' journey distant from + birth, and full of all the sap and great leaping fires of life. + Death was something so far away, so impossible to realise. It was + but a word to her—a casket enclosing nothing. Yet the death of + Buldoula was the embryo event in the womb of time from which was to + develop the whole tragedy of her own life. +</p> +<p> + "Buldoula is dead," she said again, carelessly, her rose-tipped + fingers smoothing the black sweeping arch of the man's brows. + "Perhaps her son is dead also. Ahmed will be very grieved—she was + going to bear her second son." +</p> +<p> + "Little dove! I must take you away to the mountains soon," said the + Druze, clasping her tighter to him. "Soon," he muttered again, + stooping down to look under the rose-boughs to the white-faced + house, now, with all its screened windows, dark. His words seemed + irrelevant, yet they were not. He had a keen prescience that the + death of the favourite of the harem might influence very quickly + Dilama's fate. +</p> +<p> + "Why not take me now, Murad? I want to see the mountains," and she + laid her little head, crowned by its masses of brown-gold hair, on + his warm breast. +</p> +<p> + "The caravan does not start for two weeks more," he answered + thoughtfully. "We must wait for it. It would be madness to try to + escape alone. We should be seen, noted, and tracked down. Think how + Ahmed will look for his treasure when he finds it stolen! But if + you are hidden in a bale of goods on a camel in the caravan, who + will suspect, who will know that the Druze has taken you? The whole + caravan of Druzes cannot be stopped because Ahmed has lost a wife! + No, in the caravan, with all the rest, we are safe. There is no + other way." +</p> +<p> + There was silence while the twilight deepened in the garden, and + the stars began to show above like flashing swords in the sky. In + the languor of love that knows no fear and has no cares, that + opiate of the soul, Dilama lay in his arms and sought his lips and + eyes, and asked no more about caravans and journeys and mountains, + drugged and heavy with love. In an hour when all was velvet + blackness beneath the wall, they kissed farewell. He scaled the + crumbling bricks, and regained the sheltering orange grove, and she + walked slowly back, drawing smooth her filmy veil, towards the + darkened palace. +</p> +<p> + Five days later at noontime, as Dilama was sitting in the garden + playing with the tame white doves by the fountain, one of the black + female slaves approached her. Dilama looked up questioningly, + holding a dove to her bosom. +</p> +<p> + "The lord is sorrowing within for his dead wife and dead son. He + has sent for you; go in, and lead him away from grief," and the + woman smiled and prostrated herself before Dilama, who shrank + instinctively away like a frightened child. But there is only one + law and one will in the harem, and she rose obediently, letting the + dove go, and stood ready to follow the slave. That meaning smile on + the woman's face filled her with an intuitive, instinctive, + undefined fear, and at the same instant there rushed over her the + realisation of the great happiness that same smile would have + brought her had there been no Murad, had she fled from that + rose-filled corner on that first evening—had she, in a word, + <i>waited</i>! This summons to the presence of their lord is what so + many of the harem slaves pine and long for through weary months, + and sometimes years. It came now to her, and it meant nothing but + vague fear and dread. She followed the slave with unelastic steps, + and her brain full of heavy thoughts; they passed the women's + apartments and went on to the Selamlik and to the room of Ahmed, + that looked out with unscreened windows into the cool, deep green + of the garden. The slave drew back at the door, holding a curtain + aside for the girl to enter. She went forward, the curtain fell + behind her, and she was alone with Ahmed. +</p> +<p> + He was sitting opposite on a low divan or couch, clothed from head + to foot in a deep blue robe, and with a turban of the same colour + twisted above his level brows—a kingly, majestic figure, and the + girl's heart beat and her eyelids fell as she crept slowly over the + floor towards him. At his feet she sank to her knees, and would + have put her forehead to the ground, but Ahmed bent forward, and + clasping both her arms lifted her on to the couch beside him. +</p> +<p> + "And you are the Druze child, Dilama?" he said gently, and leaning + a little back from her, surveyed her intently with dark lustrous + eyes. The girl felt swooning with terror; before his gaze her very + flesh seemed dissolving. It seemed as if her heart, her brain, with + the image of Murad stamped on them, would be laid bare to those + brilliant, searching eyes. What would he not know, suspect, find + out? What would he ask? demand of her? She could not ask herself. + Was this to be the end of his paternal relationship to her? the + beginning of a new one? She dared not lift her eyes lest he should + see their terror; the blood burnt in the surface of all her fair + skin, as if red-hot irons were pressed to it. And Ahmed, gazing + upon her with the pure noonday light, softened by the leafy screen + without pouring over her, drank in her fair Syrian beauty with + delight. The pale, rose-hued silken clothing she wore harmonised + with the ivory and rose of her round arms and throat and cheeks, + and threw up the masses of dark hair that fell beneath her veil to + her slender waist. Ahmed very gently unbound the snowy garment from + her head and stroked her hair lightly, watching the gold gleams in + its ripples as his hand passed over them. He saw her dismay, + confusion, even her terror, and noticed the quiver of her hands and + the irregular leap of her bosom, but these did not dismay him. He + was accustomed to be beloved even as he loved, and the women of the + harem who came to him in fear left him with happy confidence. He + affected now not to see her embarrassment, thinking it to be only + that, and said quietly, "And you have been happy, Dilama, in my + house?" The girl felt she must speak, though her throat seemed + closed and her tongue nerveless. +</p> +<p> + "Very happy," she faltered at last in a whisper. +</p> +<p> + "But you have been lonely, perhaps?" he asked. "Have the roses and + doves in the garden been companions enough for you? Have you not + been too much alone?" +</p> +<p> + In the heavy load of apprehension of intangible fear and horror + that seemed stifling her, a madness of longing came over the girl + to be free from her guilty secret, to have never known Murad. Now + she could have looked up fearless, full of expectant joy! She could + have loved this man; she knew it, now that she felt his love + approaching her: hope was dying within her that ever again would he + regard her simply as his daughter. She knew those tones of the + voice, she had heard them from Murad in the garden, but here the + voice was infinitely more refined, the sound of it exquisitely + musical; and now, that love for her was in it, it told her a new + secret, that she could have given love for love. She knew, though + her eyelids were down, how beautiful the face was that bent over + her: the straight, severe lines of it, the magnificent eyes and + brows burnt through her lids. Ah, why had he waited so long, or she + not waited longer? +</p> +<p> + Full of intolerable, irrepressible pain, she looked up at last + suddenly. +</p> +<p> + "Why did not my lord come into the garden, to the roses and doves + and—me?" she asked falteringly, her gaze held now irresistibly by + the dark orbs above her. Then, afraid of her own temerity, she + became white as death under his gaze. +</p> +<p> + But Ahmed was rather pleased by this first connected speech she + had made in the interview. It sounded to him like the tender + reproach of an amorous, expectant maiden, waiting eagerly for her + love, too long delayed. The under-meaning, the terrible regret for + irrevocable ill, naturally escaped him. He smiled, and put his arm + round her shoulders. "Well, it is not too late," he said, bending + over her. But the girl shrank from his arm, and he realised it + instantly. He was aware directly that there was some feeling in her + not quite fathomed nor understood. It puzzled him. He was far too + deep a thinker, far too refined a nature to treat his women as + inanimate toys to be used for his amusement, either with or without + their consent, as the chance might be. He knew them to be, and + treated them as, individual souls, with right of will and desire + equal to his own, and was too proud to accept the gift of the body + unless he had first conquered the will. But usually there was no + difficulty. Nature had gifted Ahmed with all the best treasures in + her jewel-box; beauty of face and form, strength and grace, charm + of voice and presence—everything needed to ensnare and delight + the senses, and he was accustomed to be loved, passionately adored, + and worshipped. He was naturally a connoisseur in such matters, and + knew well and easily the truth or dissembling in them. But here + there was neither: the girl shrank from him instinctively, and + seemed possessed by nothing but dumb, helpless fear that was + distressing to him. Yet not all distressing, for even in the best + of male natures there always remains some of the instinctive desire + of conquest, the delight in opposition, if not too prolonged, the + love of battle, the hope of victory; and to Ahmed, the invariably + successful lover, the resistance of this slight, rose-leaf creature + he could crush with one blow of his hand roused suddenly all the + primitive joy of the chase, the excitement of pursuit. Only, where + with some natures it would have been brutal and rapid, the end and + triumph assured, the prize the body; here it would be gentle and + dexterous, the end dependent on another, the prize the soul—the + soul, the will, the most difficult quarry to capture, as Ahmed + knew. +</p> +<p> + He let his arm slip from her shoulders, and rose and walked over + to the window, looking out for a moment into the delicious green + beyond. Dilama half-sat, half-crouched upon the divan, not daring + to stir, and watched him furtively. +</p> +<p> + Ahmed stood for a moment, and there was dead silence in the room. + Then he returned and came towards the couch, standing opposite it, + and looking down at her. +</p> +<p> + "Dilama, you seem very much afraid of me, and why is it? Look up + and speak to me. There is no need for fear. Do you think I have + called you here to force you to love me? There is no way of forcing + love. You are free to come and go to and from this room as you + will, but I am lonely and grieved, now Buldoula has been taken away + from me. I would like you to come here and play and sing to me, and + console me; will you?" +</p> +<p> + Dilama ventured to lift her eyes to the kingly figure before her, + and meeting the pained, dark eyes bent on her, and realising that + there was nothing, indeed, to make her fear but her own guilty + conscience, she burst suddenly into an uncontrollable passion of + weeping, and slipping from the couch fell sobbing at his feet. +</p> +<p> + Ahmed stooped and gathered her up in his arms, holding her to his + breast, and this time she did not shrink from him, but lay there + unresisting, crying violently. For a moment the clasp of his arm, + the touch of gentle sympathy, soothed and comforted her. For one + wild moment she longed to confide in him, to tell him the reality. + What would happen? Was it possible that Ahmed would pardon her, and + let her go to her own life, her own love and lover! No, it was not + possible—any other offence but this; theft or murder he could have + forgiven and sheltered, but this, no! Instinctively she knew and + felt it would not be possible to him—a Turk, free from prejudice + and superstition, liberal as he was—to forgive her crime. Death + for herself and Murad was the best she could expect. Ahmed's own + honour, the traditions of all his house, his great position would + make it impossible for him to let her pass from his, a Turk's harem + to a Druze lover. The thought whirled from her sick brain, leaving + all confused and hopeless as before, and her tears rained fast. + Ahmed smoothed her soft hair and kissed her forehead gently, as it + lay against his breast. +</p> +<p> + "Go and fetch your music, and sing to me," he whispered, as her + sobs ceased. "See how lovely the spring time is; it is no time for + tears, but for songs and—love." He murmured the last word very + softly and set her free. Without looking at him she slipped away to + the door in obedience to his command, and in a wild confusion of + feeling in which pleasure struggled with fear. +</p> +<p> + When she came back with her instrument, a small pear shaped guitar + in appearance, she was more composed. Her eyes were still red and + swollen, but the soft, elastic skin had already regained its + colouring. As she entered, soft bars of sunlight were falling + through the room, the window had been opened, and the song of the + birds came gaily through it. Ahmed had ordered coffee and + sweetmeats to be brought, and these now stood on a small inlaid + table before her, on whose glistening arabesques of mother of pearl + the sunbeams twinkled merrily. Ahmed's eyes lighted up with tender + pleasure as he saw her enter, and she noted it. He was still + sitting on the couch, and held in his hand a small green leather + case—the counterpart of hundreds to be seen in the jewellers' + windows in Paris. Dilama guessed at once it was some present for + her. Unconsciously the light, gay, butterfly nature of the girl + began to reassert itself in the knowledge that the final issue had + not to be met then; that there was respite for her, delay; and a + natural joy stirred in her looking across at Ahmed. It was + something, after all, to be queen of the harem, to be wooed in + gifts and smiles by its lord. +</p> +<p> + "Come here!" he said to her, and as she approached he opened the + case and took from it a bracelet, a limp band of gold with a clasp + of rubies and diamonds that flashed a thousand sparkling rays into + the astonished eyes of the girl, accustomed only to the dull, uncut + or poorly-cut gems of the East. +</p> +<p> + "How wonderful! Is it for me, really?" she exclaimed, as Ahmed took + her unresisting arm and clasped the bracelet round it above the + elbow, where it lent a new beauty to the flesh. +</p> +<p> + "Now, take some coffee, and then you shall play to me while I rest + and smoke," continued Ahmed, kissing her tenderly between the eyes, + as she gazed up gratefully to him, and though she flushed and + trembled, this time she did not shrink from him. +</p> +<p> + The coffee seemed more delicious than any that was served in the + haremlik, and the gold-tipped cigarettes and the jam, made out of + rose leaves, that Ahmed pressed upon her, delighted her senses and + helped to make her think less of the passing hour and Murad, who + would be waiting in stormy passion for her, in the angle of the + wall. "I can't help it; I can't help it!" she thought to herself as + she took up her instrument and bent over the strings to tune them, + while Ahmed stretched himself at full length on the divan to + listen, with a scarlet cushion supporting his regal head. She could + both sing and play well, for Ahmed loved music, and wisely + considered it a safe amusement—an outlet for superfluous passions + and unexpressed feelings—for the women of the harem. Instruments + were provided in plenty, and instruction and all encouragement + given to them to learn, and from her first day in the harem + Dilama's natural voice and talents had been noted and fostered. + This afternoon, at first she was timid, and sang and played + stiffly, carefully, with a great attention to notes and strings; + but slowly the calm and stillness of the beautiful sun-filled room, + the scented air floating in from the garden, the tense atmosphere + of passion about her, and the magic beauty of the face and form + opposite influenced her, grew upon her, wrapped her round, and she + began to sing passionately, ardently, with that abandonment, + without which all music is a hollow sound. Her glorious voice, + fresh, youthful, clear, and pure came rushing joyously over her + lips and filled the room. Her spirits rose as she realised the + power she was exerting. She felt a little impatient at the thought + of Murad. After all, she was a great lady, a lady of the harem of + Ahmed Ali, the richest Turk in Damascus. She was dressed in + delicate silks, and the jewels blazed on her arm. She was queen of + the harem, and the beloved of its lord. He was most desirable to + her and to all women, and, but for Murad, who seemed to stand like + a black shadow between, she would have lain upon his breast with + pure delight. She leant forward now, singing rapturously over the + instrument pressed close to her soft breast, while her rose-hued + fingers leapt among its strings; a transparent flush, delicate as + the tint of a shell, glowed in her cheeks; her large, dark eyes + looked straight at Ahmed, drawing in all the proud beauty of his + face; her hair lay soft and thick without its veil above her brows, + and one heavy tress fell forward over her shoulder to her knee. + Ahmed lay watching her, his eyes filled with sombre fires, his + whole soul listening to the song; and one other lay listening also, + and this was Murad, crouching in the shade of the orange-tree + plantation, catching with distended ears that flood of passionate + melody wafted to him over the still garden, from the window of + Ahmed's apartment, from the Selamlik. +</p> +<p> + When the song was finished, and the last notes had faltered softly + into silence, Ahmed rose from his divan and crossed to where she + sat. The room was full now of hot rosy light; the scent of the + orange flowers poured in through the windows; the girl's senses + grew confused and dizzy. Her cheeks were flaming with the + excitement and joy and effort and passion of her singing; her + eyelids were cast down, and beneath them her eyes watched, half in + terror, half in a strained delight, the blue Persian slippers + advancing silently over the matting on the floor towards her. +</p> +<p> + "Will Dilama stay with me to-night?" +</p> +<p> + The girl looked up, whitening to the lips, and slid to a kneeling + position. Terror at the thought of infidelity to Murad filled her; + he would infallibly find it out and avenge himself. Her face worked + convulsively; she stretched out her hands with a gesture of + despair. +</p> +<p> + "What my lord wills: I am the slave of his wishes." +</p> +<p> + Ahmed drew his level brows together, and for a moment lined the + serene beauty of his forehead. He gazed at her with a steady, + puzzled look, and at last a faint, half-quizzical smile relaxed his + lips. What could this strange idea, this whim be, so unlike all + Eastern maiden's usual fancies? He had not yet solved the riddle, + nor found the clue! he would do so, but in the meantime she must be + left her freedom. In all noble natures power brings with it a + terrible responsibility, and the habit of stern self-control and + long forbearance. Ahmed's complete power over the frightened piece + of humanity before him brought upon him the necessity practically + of surrender; for the Turk possesses one of the noblest and gentle + natures the human race can boast of. Ahmed remained silent for a + few seconds, and the girl gazed upon him with dilated, fascinated + eyes. She noted in a dazed way how the dark blue robe parted on his + breast and showed beneath a vest of gold silk, fastened a little to + the side by a single emerald; how the column of throat towered + above these, supporting the oval face and beautifully-modelled + chin, and above these again, and the commanding brows, shone + another solitary emerald between the folds of his turban on his + forehead. +</p> +<p> + Murad began to seem like a robber depriving her of all these + things. There is no fidelity in the body. Fidelity is a thing of + the mind, always at war with and striving to coerce those instincts + of the senses that are ever clamouring after the new and the + unknown. Nature is ever driving us on to seek new mates. The mind + with its trammels of affection, gratitude, pity, consideration, is + ever dragging us back and seeking to tie us to the old. Nature's + rule is fresh seasons, fresh mates, new hours, new loves. And he + who seeks fidelity must woo the mind, for the body cannot give it, + and knows not its laws. +</p> +<p> + After a minute's silence Ahmed stretched out his hand to her and + raised her to her feet. His face had lost its smiles and fire; it + was grave and sombre-looking now, but his voice was gentle as he + answered her: +</p> +<p> + "You are free to return to the haremlik," he said; "no one has any + power to coerce you. I wish you to come and go as you will." He + waved his hand towards the curtain with a gesture of dismissal, and + then turned away and rang a little silver bell on a table. The + black slave appeared—it seemed almost instantly—before the + curtain; while Dilama still stood, motionless, irresolute, with a + curious sense of disappointment, mingling with relief, stealing + over her. Ahmed beckoned the slave to him, and said something + in a low voice Dilama did not catch, but the last sentence she + overheard. "Send Soutouma to me," and without taking any further + notice of Dilama, Ahmed turned back towards the divan, threw + himself upon it, and drew the pipe-stand towards him. +</p> +<p> + The black slave, with a smile on her curving lips, motioned to + Dilama to precede her, and Dilama, with one look flung backward to + Ahmed's couch in the full sunlight of the window, passed under the + heavy blue curtain out into the passage. "Send Soutouma to me!" the + words went through her with a cutting feeling, as a knife dividing + her flesh. +</p> +<p> + Soutouma was next to Buldoula in age and rank—a fair beauty of the + harem, with soft, long, sunlit tresses, and a skin of snow. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, why not? why not?" asked Dilama wildly to herself as her feet + dragged along down the passage side by side with the grinning + black's. "I am a Druze girl: I belong to Murad and to the + mountains." But the insidious charm of Ahmed's personality worked + on all the pulses of her body; pulses that know not fidelity, + though her brain kept telling her that Murad would be waiting for + her in the garden. But that night Murad did not come. The garden + stood cool and fragrant, full of perfume and rosy light, full of + the music of birds and the tints of a thousand flowers—all the + invitations to love, but love itself was absent. Dilama searched + the garden from end to end, and walked in and out among the roses + by the buttressed wall, but the garden was empty and silent. She + was alone. Tired at last, and ready to cry with fatigue and + disappointment, she sat down by the red brick wall, leaning her + chin on her hand and gazing up towards the windows of the Selamlik, + which could only be seen in portions here and there through a leafy + screen of plane-tree branches. How still it was in the garden, and + how the scent of the orange flower weighed on the senses! How clear + the pink, transparent air! +</p> +<p> + Through that same lucid air, under the spreading plane-trees, and + through the great dim bazaars of the city, walked Murad that + evening with quick, hot feet, and the liquid coursing in his veins + seemed fire instead of blood. He went from Druze to Druze, wherever + he could find them, in their own homes, or sitting at a shady + corner of a street, where the tiny rush-bottomed stools are + gathered round the tea-stalls with their hissing brazen urns and + porcelain cups, or lounging in the bazaars, or at the marble + drinking-fountains. Wherever they were he found them, and spoke a + few hot, eager words to them, urging them to hurry forward their + preparations, and be ready to start with the caravan at the rising + of the full moon. Then, as the rosy light changed into violet dusk, + he went home to his low, yellow, square-roofed dwelling on the edge + of the desert, and sat there in his one unlighted room—sat there + gazing out with unseeing eyes into the lustrous Damascus night + beyond the open door, and with the fingers of his right hand + playing absently with the handle of his knife. +</p> +<p> + A week had passed over and Ahmed had not sent again for Dilama, nor + had Murad visited the garden, and to the Eastern girl it seemed as + if the world had stopped still. The hot, languid days, the gorgeous + nights with the blaze of the stars and the rapture of the + nightingales, filled her with madness that seemed insupportable. + She knew of no reason for Murad's desertion. She could find out + nothing. She did not dare to breathe a word to any one of the + anxiety, the wonder, the desperation that seemed choking her. What + had become of him? What had happened? Would he ever come again? And + as he appealed only to her senses, and he was not there, she ceased + to wish for him very much, but thought more of Ahmed and the + Selamlik that were close to her. For the mind and the imagination + love in absence and long after the absent one, but the senses are + stirred by proximity, and turn to the one who is nearest. +</p> +<p> + One evening, when the soft sky was a clear crimson and the full + moon rose a perfect disk of transparent silver, faint as yet in the + blood-red glow, Dilama felt as if she could exist no longer in the + still, even, unchanging peace of the women's apartments. The song + of the water without, the coo of the doves, the incessantly + repeated love-note of the mating sparrows, seemed to madden her + beyond endurance. +</p> +<p> + She lay face downwards on the soft carpet of her little + sleeping-chamber, and moaned unconsciously aloud, "Let me die! let + me die! I have lost favour with all men." +</p> +<p> + The black slave was sitting cross-legged just outside the curtain, + and when these slow, long drawn-out words came from the other side + a light gleamed in her shrewd, beady-black eyes. With one claw-like + hand she cautiously drew back a fold of the curtain, and peering in + saw the foremost lady of the harem lying prostrate, her face + pressed to the floor. She made no sound, but dropping the curtain + noiselessly, sidled slowly off down the dark passage leading to the + Selamlik. Ahmed was alone in his apartment when the slave appeared, + sitting on the broad window ledge gazing out from the window which + overlooked his grounds, and beyond them the white minarets and + shining cupolas of the city. He turned at the interruption, but his + face lighted up with pleasure as he recognised the women's + attendant, and he signed to her to approach. +</p> +<p> + "The Lady Dilama is weeping in her chamber, desiring my lord," + announced the slave, with much bowing and prostration, but still + with that confidence which showed she knew how welcome the news + would be to her august listener. Ahmed rose, a fire of joy leaping + up suddenly within him. +</p> +<p> + "It is well," he said, in an even tone. "Let the Lady Dilama come + to me, and for yourself take this," and he dropped beside the + crouching heap of black back and shoulder a small velvet bag. The + slave grabbed it and put it in her breast, muttering a thousand + thanks and blessings, and withdrew. +</p> +<p> + Once outside, her lean black legs carried her swiftly back to + Dilama's room, where she pushed aside the curtain without ceremony. +</p> +<p> + "Come!" she said imperiously, "you are Ahmed Ali's chosen one; he + has sent for you. Put off that torn veil, and all that weeping. I + have new robes here for you." +</p> +<p> + Dilama, who had hurriedly gathered herself up at the slave's entry, + shrank away now into a corner of the room, white as death. +</p> +<p> + "Has he sent for me?" she asked breathlessly. "Commanded me? Oh, + must I go?" +</p> +<p> + The slave looked at her strangely. She had no suspicion of Dilama's + secret, and had no idea that her own misrepresentations were as + gross as they were. But she had no wish to be harsh or unkind to + this girl, who would be in a few hours queen of the harem. She was + puzzled. She drew near to Dilama's shrinking form, and peered into + her face. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, he <i>commands</i>," she said; "but is it possible you do not + wish to go to Ahmed? He is a king amongst men, and he loves you. + What better fate could there be than to lie on his breast, in his + arms? Is it not better than the ground to which you were crying + just now? Surely you will reward me well to-morrow?" +</p> +<p> + Dilama answered nothing. Long shivers were passing through her. It + was decided, then; she could no longer avoid her fate, and already + with that thought the Oriental calm of acceptance came to her. + Besides, where was Murad? She could not tell. Fate had taken him + from her, perhaps—the same Fate that gave her to Ahmed. She was + helpless. She had no choice but to obey. And the words of the + slave, accompanied by those piercing, meaning looks, inflamed her + senses. After that unbearable week of solitude the summons came to + her not all unwelcome, and the supreme thought of Ahmed himself + loomed up suddenly, bringing irresistible joy with it. A flame + passed over her cheeks; she caught the slave's skinny black hand + between her own rose-leaf palms. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, I will reward you," she murmured. "Dress me beautifully, + decorate me that I may find favour with Ahmed." +</p> +<p> + The slave laughed meaningly. +</p> +<p> + "Does the desert traveller burn and sigh after water, and then do + the springs of Damascus not find favour in his eyes?" she asked, + and laughed again as she approached Dilama, and began to undress + her. In a few minutes the whole of the haremlik was in a state of + pleasant excitement. The news of the dressing of the bride spread + into its furthest corners, and the women came to talk and jest, and + the servants fled hither and thither upon errands. Dilama was led + into the large general room, and there bathed from head to foot + with warm rose-water; while the others sat round and chatted + together, and admired her ivory skin, with the wild rose Syrian + bloom upon it, and her masses of gold-tinted chestnut hair. And the + black slave bathed and anointed and dressed her with the utmost + care and great self-importance, and sent the underslaves flying in + all directions, one to gather syringa, and other heavy-scented + blossoms from the garden, and another to fetch the jewels for her + neck; and as the attar of rose bottle was found to be empty, a + slave was sent with flying feet to the bazaar to purchase more; and + Dilama, excited and elated, surrounded by jest and laughter and + smiling faces, felt her youth leap up within her, and rejoice at + coming into its kingdom—love. +</p> +<p> + In the bazaar the slave sped to the perfume-seller, and, swelling + with the importance of his mission, stayed a moment to chatter with + the dealer. +</p> +<p> + "They are dressing a new bride for my master, and I must hasten + back," he gossiped, lounging on the merchant's little stall. "Ahmed + Ali awaits her in the Selamlik; I must be going. They say her + beauty is wonderful; she is not a Turk, but a Syrian from the + mountains by Beirut. I must hasten: they will be waiting." +</p> +<p> + "Yes, hasten on your way," returned the perfume-seller. He was a + Turk, dignified and gracious, and of no mind to listen to gossip + from the harem, of which it was little short of scandalous to speak + so publicly. He had other customers in his shop who could hear, + amongst them a black-browed Druze in a green turban, who was + waiting patiently his turn, and who seemed to listen intently to + this most improper gossip. The slave disappeared with flying feet + to catch up his wasted moments, but when the Turk turned to serve + the silent Druze, he, too, had vanished, and some white-turbaned + Arabs pressed forward in his place. +</p> +<hr class="short"> +<p> + Dilama in her lighted chamber, with her fresh young eyes a little + painted beneath their lids, and heavy gold chains about her soft + young throat, sat looking into the little French mirror of cheap + glass and gilt, and waiting for the attar of rose to be poured on + her shining hair. +</p> +<p> + At last the boy returned breathless, and the precious stuff was + poured on her hair and hands. Then she stood up radiant and the + women sighed and smiled by turns as she went out, preceded by the + old slave. A long narrow passage, lighted overhead by swinging + coloured lamps, divided the women's from the men's apartments, and + through this they passed noiselessly over the matting-covered + floor. At the end fell heavy curtains, concealing the door and some + steps. Here the slave left the girl, and Dilama went through the + curtains alone. She mounted the steps and passed through the door. + All was quite silent here, and the passage unlighted, except that + through a tiny window high up above her head a streak of moonlight + fell across her way. Dilama paused oppressed, she knew not by what + feeling. Only a short passage and another curtained door divided + her now from Ahmed's presence. Her breath came fast, her pulses + beat nervously, and her feet dragged; slowly and unwillingly she + crept onward, harassed by cold, vague fears. Before the door itself + she trembled, and her soft hands and wrists hardly availed to push + it open. It yielded slowly, and fell to behind her in silence. +</p> +<p> + The room was full of light; a silver blaze of moonlight illumined + it from end to end. The great windows, over which usually the + curtains were drawn, stood uncovered and wide open to the soft + Damascus air. The scent of roses and jessamine from the great man's + garden stole in with the silver light. The girl paused when just + over the threshold: she was cold and frightened, and her body + shook. Ahmed did not move or speak. He was sitting sideways to one + great window, with his head resting against the high back of the + one European chair that the room possessed. The light was so strong + that the rich, deep blue of the turban was distinctly visible in + it, but his face was in shadow. She could see, however, the noble + throat and pose of the shoulders as he sat waiting. The girl's + heart beat with a little sense of pleasure as she looked. Her feet + crept slowly a little farther into the room. A great tide of + pleasure was really just outside her heart, and would have rushed + in and overwhelmed it in waves of joy had she but opened her + heart's doors to it; but the shadow of Murad was on the bolts and + locks, and she felt afraid. The silence and great silver light in + the room oppressed her. Ahmed had not heard her enter, and had not + stirred nor looked at her. She crept a little closer. The beauty of + the majestic figure called her irresistibly. She drew closer. She + had passed one window now, and was near enough to see the jewels + flash on the slender hand that hung over the chair-arm, and the + glistening light on the embroidered Turkish slippers on his feet. + Shading her brow with one hand, Dilama came forward, fell at those + feet and kissed them. Still there was no movement, no sound. This + was so unlike Ahmed's way of treating his slaves, that the girl, + forgetting her fears, looked up in sheer surprise. Then her heart + seemed to stop suddenly, and then leap with excessive thuds of + horror against her breast. The face above her seemed carved in + stone, pale, bloodless, calm; it was set, as the girl realised in a + moment of terror and agony, in a repose that would never be broken. + The large, dark eyes, still open, gazed past her, sightless, + changeless. Fear, her fear of him, her awe, her oppressed terror + fell from her, giving way to an infinite regret, a sorrow, a sense + of loss that rushed over her, filling every cell, every atom of her + being. She, the unwilling, the reluctant, the slow-coming, the + grudging bride, now stood free. The bridegroom asked of her + nothing, demanded nothing, needed nothing, desired nothing. +</p> +<p> + The slave-girl neither shrieked nor fainted. A great, convulsive + sob tore itself from her trembling body as she rose from her knees + and bent over the sitting figure. Wildly she passed her soft, + shaking fingers across his brow, still warm, and round his throat, + seeking mechanically the wound; then her eyes fell on the gold silk + of his tunic, and just over the left breast she saw a little brown + patch, and on the left side of the chair the silver light gleamed + on a small, dark-red pool. He had been stabbed as he sat there, + waiting for her—stabbed from the back, and the dagger thrust + through to the little brown spot in the front of the tunic. And + through that tiny door his life had gone. +</p> +<p> + Lying at his feet, Dilama sobbed uncontrollably, rolling her head, + with its wonderful crown of flower-decked hair, and her pink-silk + clad body amongst the rugs on the floor. What was the worth or use + of anything now, silk or bridal attire, or beauty, or flower-decked + hair? Never would any of them now be mirrored in his eyes again. + Never could anything change that awful serenity, that implacable + silence, out of which she felt her own love, her own desire rush + upon her and devour her. Ahmed had been hers and she had shrunk + from him, and now all the blood in her body she would have given + willingly to replace that little scarlet stream that had borne away + his life. +</p> +<p> + As she lay there, weeping in an agony of despair, a dark shadow + suddenly grew in the window, and fell a black patch in the panel of + white light upon the floor. A lithe figure balanced a moment on the + ledge of the open window, then leapt with the silent elastic bound + of a cat into the room. Dilama sprang from the floor to her knees + with a smothered cry of terror. +</p> +<p> + "Murad! why have you come here?" +</p> +<p> + The Druze leant over her and caught her arm fiercely. +</p> +<p> + "To claim my own. It is not the first visit I have made to-night, + as you see," and as he dragged her up from her knees he indicated + the motionless figure beside them. +</p> +<p> + "You killed him!" she whispered, gazing up with dilated, terrified + eyes. +</p> +<p> + "Who should, if not I? Had he not taken my wife? Come, we must be + going." +</p> +<p> + With the nail-like grip on her arm, and the low, savage tones in + her ears, and the blazing eyes like a tiger's, inflamed with the + lust of murder above her, the girl felt sick and half-fainting with + fear and misery. +</p> +<p> + "He did not take me. I was always faithful, Murad. I love you. + I—" she stammered. +</p> +<p> + "It is well," returned Murad with a grim smile, "and these tears I + suppose are because I was too long absent? It is true I have been + some time: I had much to do, and then I knew I was quite safe, now + I had settled all accounts with him. Come! the caravan is ready; + the camels wait for you." +</p> +<p> + He dragged her towards the open square, the great square of the + window. Without, the night-flies and the moths danced in the silver + beams, the trees rose motionless and stately in the sultry air, the + gracious hours moved on with all the tranquil splendour of the + Oriental night. The girl threw her eyes over the sitting figure, + unmoved by all the strenuous passions fighting round it. Wildly, in + despairing agony, she stretched out her arms towards it in a vain, + unconscious passionate appeal. +</p> +<p> + The Druze struck them downwards, and gripping her unresisting body + more tightly, he leapt from the window to the slight wooden + staircase without, and, like a tiger with his prey, crept away + stealthily through the silver silence of the rose garden towards + the desert. +</p> + +<hr> +<div style="height: 6em;"><br><br><br><br><br><br></div> + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Six Women, by Victoria Cross + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SIX WOMEN *** + +***** This file should be named 13238-h.htm or 13238-h.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/2/3/13238/ + +Produced by Janet Kegg and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed +Proofreading Team + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Six Women + +Author: Victoria Cross + +Release Date: August 21, 2004 [EBook #13238] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SIX WOMEN *** + + + + +Produced by Janet Kegg and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed +Proofreading Team + + + + + + Six Women + + + By + VICTORIA CROSS + + + NEW YORK + MITCHELL KENNERLEY + + + * * * * * + + _BY VICTORIA CROSS_ + + LIFE'S SHOP WINDOW + ANNA LOMBARD + SIX WOMEN + SIX CHAPTERS OF A MAN'S LIFE + THE WOMAN WHO DIDN'T + TO-MORROW? + PAULA + A GIRL OF THE KLONDIKE + THE RELIGION OF EVELYN HASTINGS + LIFE OF MY HEART + + * * * * * + + + DEDICATED TO + H.M.G. AND E.F.C. + AND OUR MEMORIES OF THE EAST. + + + + +SIX WOMEN + + + +I + +CHAPTER I + + +Listless and despondent, feeling that he hated everything in life, +Hamilton walked slowly down the street. The air was heavy, and the +sun beat down furiously on the yellow cotton awnings stretched over +his head. Clouds of dust rose in the roadway as the white bullocks +shuffled along, drawing their creaking wooden carts, and swarms of +flies buzzed noisily in the yellow, dusty sunshine. Hamilton went +on aimlessly; he was hot, he was tired, his eyes and head ached, he +was thirsty; but all these disagreeable sensations were nothing +beside the intense mental nausea that filled him, a nausea of life. +It rose up in and pervaded him, uncontrollable as a physical +malady. In vain he called upon his philosophy; he had practised it +so long that it was worn out. Like an old mantle from the +shoulders, it fell from him in rags, and he was glad. He felt he +hated his philosophy only less than he hated life--hated, yet +desired as the man hates a mistress he covets, and has never yet +possessed. "Never had anything, never done anything, never felt +anything decent yet," he mused. + +He was an exceptionally handsome and attractive individual, and +though in reality forty years of age, he had the figure, the look, +and air of twenty-eight. Masses of black hair, without a white +thread, waved above a beautifully-cut and modelled face, of which +the clear bronze skin, with its warm colour in the cheeks, was not +the least striking feature. He was about six feet or a little over +in height, and had a wonderfully lithe, well-knit figure, and a +carriage full of grace and dignity. A bright, charming smile that +came easily to his face, and an air of absolute unconsciousness of +his own good looks, completed the armoury of weapons Venus had +endowed him with for breaking hearts. But Hamilton neglected his +vocation: he broke none. He got up early, and slaved away at his +duties for the Indian Civil Government in his office all day, and +went to bed dead tired at night, with nothing but a dreary +consciousness of duty done and more duty waiting for him the +following day, as a sleeping companion. + +Hamilton's life had been ruined by an early and an unsuccessful +marriage. At twenty, when full of the early, divine fires of life, +he had married a girl of his own age and rank, dazzled by the +beauty she then, in his eyes, possessed, and in that amazing +blindness to character that make women view men with wondering +contempt. His blindness, however, ended with the ceremony. On his +wedding-night the woman, who, it must be admitted, had acted her +part of loving submissiveness, of gentle devotion, admirably, +mocked at him and his genuine, ardent passion. + +How well he had always remembered her words to him as they stood +face to face in the chilly whiteness of an English bridal chamber +in midwinter! "It's no use, dear, I don't want any of this sort of +thing. It seems to me coarse and stupid, and I don't want the +bother of a dozen babies. I married because I wanted the position +of a married woman, and a nice presentable man to go about with in +society. Besides, things were not satisfactory at home, and I +wanted a man to keep me, and all that. But I don't see why you +should get into such a state of mind about it. I will keep house, +and be perfectly good and amiable, and we can go about together, of +course; only I want to keep my own room." + +And how well he remembered her as she stood there, shattering his +life with her cold, light words--a tall, slim girl, in her white +dinner dress! She had been very fair then, with a quantity of soft +flaxen hair, which shortly after she had taken to dyeing--a thing +he had always hated. She had a small, heart-shaped face, so light +in colour as to suggest anaemia, with a high, thin nose, of which +the nostrils were excessively pinched together, a short upper lip, +and a thick, quite colourless mouth, small when closed, when she +laughed opening wide far back to her throat, showing, as it seemed, +an infinite quantity of long, narrow, white, wolf-like teeth. + +How hideous she had suddenly appeared to him in those moments, seen +through the dark waves of passion she rolled back upon him! In the +hot, rosy glow she had deliberately conjured up before his eyes of +love and love returned he had thought her beautiful. Now, as she +took the veil from her mean, base mind, it fell also from her +beauty, and he saw her ugly, as she really was, body and soul. +Stunned and amazed, loathing his own folly, his own blindness, +condemning these more than he did her cruelty, Hamilton had +listened in silence while she revealed herself. When the first +shock was over, he had set himself to talk and reason with her. +Naturally intensely kind and sympathetic, it was easy for him to +see another's view, to put himself in another's place. He blamed +himself at once, more than her, for the position he now found +himself in. And patiently he tried to understand it, to find the +clue, if possible, to remedy it. He reasoned long and gently with +her, but she, knowing well the generous nature she had to deal +with, yielded not an inch. Hamilton was not the man to use force or +violence. The passions of the body, divested of their soul, were +nothing to him. On that night she struck down within him all desire +for or interest in her. He left her at last, and withdrew to +another room, where he sat through the remaining hours of the +night, looking into the face of his future. + +Shortly after, he had left for India, the corpse of dead passion +within his breast. He made a confident of no one, told no one of +his secret burden, remitted half his pay regularly to his wife with +that obedience to custom and duty as the world sees it, with that +quiet dutifulness that is so astounding to the onlooker, but +characteristic of so many Englishmen, and threw himself into his +work, avoiding women and personal relations with them. + +Such a life as this invariably calls down the anger of Venus, and +Hamilton had worn out by now the patience of the goddess. + +The tragedy of Euripides' Hippolytus is called a myth, but that +same tragedy is played out over and over again, year by year, in +all time, and is as true now as it was then. The slighted goddess +takes her revenge at last. As he walked on, the sound of some +tom-toms dulled by distance came to his ears. He hesitated at a +crossing where a side alley led down towards the bazaar, then +without thought or intention walked down the turning, the music +growing louder as he advanced. + +It came from a house some way lower down, before the open door of +which hung a large white sheet with scarlet letters on it. Hamilton +glanced up and read on it, "Dancing girls from the Deccan. +Admission, six annas. Walk in." He stared dully at it till the red +letters danced in the fierce, torrid sunlight, and the flies, +finding him standing motionless, came thickly round his face. A +puff of hot wind blew down the street, bringing the dust: it lifted +a corner of the sheet and turned it back from the doorway. Within +looked cool and dark. The entry was a square of darkness. He was +tired of the sun, the heat, the noise, the dust and the flies. With +no thought other than seeking for shelter, he stepped behind the +sheet and was in the darkness; a turnstile barred his way: on the +top of it he laid down his six annas, his eyes too full of the +yellow glare of the outside to see whom he paid: he felt the +turnstile yield, and stumbled on in the obscurity. A hand pushed +him between two curtains. Then he found himself in a low square +room, and could see about him again by the subdued light of oil +lamps fixed against the wall. At one end was the small stage, its +scarlet curtain now down; in front a row of tin lamps, primitive +footlights, and the rest of the room was filled with rows of empty +chairs. Mechanically and without interest, Hamilton went forward +and seated himself in the first of these rows. The tom-toms had +ceased: there was quiet, an interval of rest presumably for the +dancers. It was far cooler than outside, and Hamilton breathed a +sigh of relief as he sank into his seat. The dimness of the light, +the quiet, the coolness all pleased him: he had not known till he +sat down how tired he was. He might have sat there a quarter of an +hour, his mind in that state of hopeless blank that supervenes on +overmuch unsatisfactory thinking, when suddenly the tom-toms +started up again with a terrific rattle, and the scarlet curtain +was somewhat spasmodically jerked up, displaying a semicircle of +girls seated on European chairs facing the tin lamps. Two of the +seven were African girls, with the woolly hair and jet black skin +of their race; they were seated one at each end of the semicircle, +dressed in short scarlet skirts, standing out from their waist in +English ballet-girl fashion, the upper part of their bodies bare, +except for the masses of coloured glass necklaces covering their +breast from throat to waist. The next pair of girls seemed to +represent Spanish dancers, and were in ankle-long black and yellow +dresses, little yellow caps with bells depending from them sat in +amongst their masses of black hair, and they held languidly to +their sides their tambourines and castenets. Next on the chairs sat +two strictly Eastern dancers in transparent pale green gauzy +clothing held into waist and each ankle by jeweled bands. Their +pale ivory bodies shone through the filmy green muslin as the moon +shines clearly in green water, and the jewels blazed like stars +with red and blue fires at each movement of their limbs. Their +heads were crowned simply with white clematis, and the glory of +their straight-featured Circassian faces, together with the +unrivalled contours of softly moulded throat and breast and perfect +limbs, veiled only so much as a light mist may veil, would have +taken the breath away of the most inveterate frequenter of the +Alhambra and Empire in dull old England. Hamilton drew in his +breath with a little start as he first saw the semicircle, but it +was not on the Circassians that his eyes were fixed, but on the +very centre figure of that beautiful half-moon. Set in the centre, +she seemed to be considered the pearl amongst them, as indeed she +was. The mist that enveloped her was not pale green as the veils of +the other two, but white, and the beautiful perfect form that it +enclosed was of a warmer, brighter tint than theirs. + +The white films of the drapery fell from the base of her throat, +leaving her arms quite bare, but softly clinging to breast and +flanks, till a gold band resting on her hips confined it closely, +and depressed in the centre, was fastened by a single enormous +ruby, the one spot of blood-red colour upon her. Beneath the +sloping belt of gold fell her loose Turkish trousers of gleaming +white, transparent tissue, clasped at the ankles by bands of gold. +On her feet were little Turkish slippers, on her brow--nothing, but +the crown of her radiant youth and beauty. Hamilton, gazing at it +across the footlights, thought he had never seen, either pictured +or in the flesh, a face so beautiful, so full of the beauty, the +goodness, the power and wonder of life. + +The sight thrilled him. Like the power of electricity, its power +began to run along his veins, heating them, stirring them, calling +upon nerve and muscle and sense to wake up. He looked, and life +itself seemed to stream into him through his eyes. The girl's face +was a well-rounded oval, supported on the round, perfect column of +her throat; the eyes seemed pools of blackness that had caught all +the splendour and the radiance of a thousand Eastern nights. The +fires of many stars, the whole brilliance of the purple nights of +Asia were mirrored in them. Above them rose the dark, arching span +of the eyebrows on the soft warm-tinted forehead, cut in one line +of severest beauty with the delicate nose. Beneath, the curling +lips were like the flowers of the pomegranate, a living, vivid +scarlet, and the rounded chin had the contour and bloom of the +nectarine. + +She smiled faintly as she met the fixed gaze of Hamilton's eyes +across the footlights--such an innocent, merry little smile it +seemed, not the mechanical contortions one buys with pieces of +silver. Hamilton's blood seemed to catch light at it and flame all +over his body. He sat upright in his seat: gone were his fatigue, +his thirst, his eye-ache. His frame felt no more discomfort: his +whole soul rushed to his eyes, and sat there watching. In some men +their physical constitution is so closely knitted to the mental, +that the slightest shock to either instantly vibrates through the +other and works its effect equally on both. Hamilton was of this +order, and his body responded, instantly now, to the joy and +interest born suddenly in his mind. + +A moment after the curtain was rolled up, a huge negro, dressed in +a fancy dress of scarlet, and with a high cap of the same colour on +his head, came on from the side. In his hand he carried a small +dog-whip, and as he cracked it all the girls stood up. Hamilton +sickened as he looked at him: an indefinable feeling of horror came +over him as this man stalked about the stage. He pointed with his +whip to the two African girls at the end of the semicircle, and +they came forward, while the rest sat down. A horrid uneasy feeling +of discomfort grew up in Hamilton, similar to that which a lover of +animals feels, when called upon to witness performing dogs, and all +the fear and anxiety pent up in their fast-beating little hearts is +communicated to himself. He watched the girls' faces keenly as the +negro went round and placed himself behind the middle chair of the +semicircle, while the two Africans danced. Hamilton hardly noticed +their dance, a curious barbaric performance that would have been +alarming to the British matron, but was neither new nor interesting +to Hamilton. He kept his eyes fixed on the white-clothed girl in +the centre, and the sinister figure behind her chair. She seemed +calm and indifferent, and when the negro put his hand on her +shoulder looked up and listened to his words without fear or +repulsion. Hamilton, keenly alive, with every sense alert, sat in +his chair, a prey to the new and delightful feeling, not known for +years, of interest. + +Yes, he was interested, and the energetic sense of loathing for +the negro proved it. The music, loud and strident--an ordinary +Italian piano-organ having been introduced amongst the Oriental +instruments--banged on, and then abruptly came to a stop when the +negro cracked his whip. The two African women resumed their chairs, +there was some applause, and a good many small coins fell on the +stage from the hands of the audience. The second pair of girls +rose, came forward and commenced to dance, the organ playing some +appropriate Spanish airs. After these, the two Indian girls who +gave the usual _dance de ventre_ to a lively Italian air on the +organ. Then, at last, _she_ rose from her chair and approached the +footlights. The organ ceased playing, only the Indian music +continued: wild sensual music, imitating at intervals the cries of +passion. + +To this accompaniment the girl danced. + +Had any British matrons been present we must hope they would have +walked out, yet, to the eye of the artist, there was nothing coarse +or offending, simply a most beautiful harmony of motion. The girl's +beauty, her grace and youth, and the slight lissomness of all her +body lent to the dance a poetry, a refinement it would not have +possessed with another exponent. + +Moreover, though there was a certain ardour in her looks and +gestures, in the way she yielded her limbs and body to the +influence of the music, yet there was also a gay innocence, a +bright naive irresponsibility in it that contrasted strongly with +the sinister intention underlying all the movements of the other +two Indian dancers. At the end of the dance Hamilton took a rupee +from his pocket and threw it across the tin lamps towards her feet. +She picked it up smiling, though she left the other coins which +fell on the stage untouched, and went back to her chair. + +After her dance, the great negro came forward and did a turn of his +own. Hamilton looked away. What was this man to the little circle? +he wondered. He could not keep his mind off that one query? Were +they his slaves? willing or unwilling? did they constitute his +harem? or were they paid, independent workers? His mind was made up +to get speech with this one girl, at least, that evening. This +delightful feeling of interest, this pleasure, even this keen +disgust, all were so welcome to him in the dreary mental state of +indifference that had become his habit, that he welcomed them +eagerly, and could not let them go. Beyond this there was rising +within him, suddenly and overwhelmingly, the force of Life, +indignant at the long repression it had been subjected to. Man may +be a civilized being, accustomed to the artificial restraints and +laws he has laid upon himself, but there remains within him still +that primitive nature that knows nothing, and never will learn +anything of those laws, and which leaps up suddenly after years of +its prison-life in overpowering revolt, and says, "Joy is my +birthright. I will have it!" + +This moment is the crisis of most lives. It was with Hamilton now, +and it seemed suddenly to him that twenty years of fidelity to an +unloved, unloving woman was enough. The debt contracted at the +altar twenty years before had been paid off. The promise, given +under a misunderstanding to one who had wilfully deceived him, was +wiped out. It was a marvel to him in those moments how it had held +him so long. + +Hamilton had one of those keen, brilliant minds that make their +decisions quickly, and rarely regret them. He took his resolution +now. That prisoner in revolt within him should be free; he would +strike off the fetters he had worn too long and vainly. He was +before the open book of Life, at that page where he had stood so +long. With a firm decisive hand he would take the new page, and +turn it over. That last page, on which his wife's name was written +large, was completely done with, closed. + +The old joyous spirit, the keen eagerness for love and joy and +life, the Pagan's gay rejoicing in it, that had been such a marked +feature of his disposition before his marriage, came back to him, +rushed through him, refilled him. + +His marriage, with its disillusionment, had crushed it out of him +for a time, and, with that same decisiveness that marked him now, +he had turned over the pages of youthful dreams and joys and loves, +and opened the next page of work, of strenuous endeavour, of a +hard, rigid observance of fidelity to the vows he had taken. And +for a time work and its rewards, effort and its returns, a hard, +practical life in the world amongst men, had held him. That now +was no longer to be all to him. + +His life, and such joy as it might hold for him, was to be his own +again. The joy of the decisions filled him, elated him. He felt as +if his mind had sudden wings, and could lift him with it to the +roof. + +Such a decision, when it comes, seems to oneself, as it seemed to +Hamilton now, a sudden thing. It has the force and shock of a +revelation, but it is not really sudden. The great rebellion nearly +all natures--certainly some, and these usually the greatest and +best--feel at the absence of joy in their lives had been gradually +growing within him, gathering a little strength each day. It is +only the climax of such feelings that is sudden--the awakening of +the mind to their presence. The growth has been going on day by +day, week by week, unmeasured, unreckoned with. + +Immediately the curtain fell, Hamilton left his seat and went +up to a door, reached by a few steps, on the level of the +footlights, and at the left side of them. No one hindered him. +The rest of the audience were going out. He pushed the door, +which yielded readily, and he passed through. A narrow, +white-washed, lath-and-plaster passage opened before him, at the +end of which he saw a tin lamp burning against the wall and heard +voices. + +The passage led into a three-cornered room, where he found some of +the dancers and an old woman who was huddled up on a straw mat in +the corner. The negro was not there. The girls stood about idly; +some were changing their clothes. They did not seem to heed his +presence, except the one he was seeking, who came straight towards +him. As she moved across the dirty, littered room, her limbs under +their transparent covering moved, and her head was carried with the +air of an empress. "Will the Sahib come with me?" she said in a +low, soft tone. She raised her eyes to his face. They were wide, +enquiring, like the deer's brought face to face with the hunter in +the green thickets. + +The other girls glanced towards him, and some smiles were +exchanged, but no one approached him. They seemed to understand he +was there only for the star of the troupe. Hamilton looked down +into those glorious midnight eyes fixed upon him, and a faint +colour came into his cheek. + +"I will come wherever you lead," he answered in Hindustani. These +surroundings were horrible, but the shade of them did not seem to +dim her charm. + +The scent in the air was disagreeable. Tawdry spangles and false +jewels lay about on the tumble-down settees. From behind little +doors that opened from the walls round came the sound of men's +voices. + +"Let the Sahib come this way, then," she answered, and turned +towards one of the small doors in the wall. This took them into +another tiny, musty-smelling passage that wound about like the run +of a rabbit warren, only wide enough for one to pass along at a +time, and the strips of lath were so low overhead that Hamilton +bent his neck involuntarily to avoid them. + +At a door in the side of this she stopped and pushed it open; the +little run way wound on beyond in the darkness. + +Hamilton followed her into the sloping-roofed, lath-and-plaster +pent-house that had been run up between the back of the stage and +the wall of the building. Native lamps were hooked into the wall, +and their light showed the garish ugliness of it all--the hastily +whitewashed walls, the scraps of ragged, dirty, scarlet cloth hung +here and there over a bulge or stain in the plaster: the boarded +floor, uneven and cracked: the bed against the wall, not too clean +looking, its dingy curtains not quite concealing the dingier +pillows; the broken chair on which a basin stood, placed on two +grey-looking towels; another chair with the back rails knocked out +leaning against the wall. + +He threw his gaze round it in a moment's rapid survey, then he +pressed to the rickety, uneven door and shot the bolt. + +The girl stood in the middle of the room, an exquisitely lovely +figure. She regarded him with wide, innocent eyes. Hamilton felt +all the blood alight in his veins; it seemed to him he could hear +his pulses beating. Never in his life before had joy and passion +met within him to stir him as they did now, but in natures where +there is a strong, deep strain of intellectuality the body never +quite conquers the mind, the light of the intellect never quite +goes down, however strong the sea, however high the waves of +animal passion on which it rides; and now Hamilton felt the great +appeal to his brain as well as to his senses that the girl's beauty +made. + +He went up to her. She looked at him with an intense admiration, +almost worship in her eyes. A man at such moments looks, as Nature +intended he should, his very best, and Hamilton's face, of a noble +and splendid type, lighted now by the keenest animation, held her +gaze. + +"Tell me," he said in a low tone, for footsteps passed on the +creaking boards, and gibbering voices and laughter could be heard +outside, "tell me, what is that man to you? Do you belong to him, +all of you?" + +"That...? He is not a man, he is a ... nothing," replied the girl, +looking up with calm, glorious eyes. "He can do no harm ... nor +good." + +Hamilton drew a quick breath. + +"You dance like this every evening, and then choose someone in the +audience in this way?" he questioned, slipping his hand round her +neck and looking down at her, a half-amused sadness coming into his +eyes. + +The girl shook her head with a quick negation. + +"No, I have only been here a few days--a week, I think. Did you +notice that old woman as we came through here? I belong to her; she +taught me to dance. She brought me here, and I dance for the +Nothing, but I have never taken any one like this before. The other +girls do, every night, but each night the Nothing said to me, 'No +one here to-night, good enough. Wait till an English Sahib comes.'" + +Hamilton listened with a paling cheek; his breath came and went +faintly; he hardly seemed to draw it; he put his next question very +gently, watching her open brow and proud, fearless eyes. + +"Do you know nothing of men at all, then?" + +"Nothing, Sahib, nothing," she answered, falling on her knees +suddenly at his feet, and raising her hands towards him. "This will +be my bridal night with the Sahib. The Nothing told me to please +you, to do all you told me. What shall I do? how shall I please +you?" + +Hamilton looked down upon her: his brain seemed whirling; the +pulses along his veins beat heavily; new worlds, new vistas of life +seemed opening before him as he looked at her, so beautiful in her +first youth, in her unclouded innocence, full, it is true, of +Oriental passion, with a certain Oriental absence of shame, but +untouched, able to be his, and his only. + +Before he could speak again, or collect his thoughts that the +girl's words had scattered, her soft voice went on: + +"Surely the Sahib is a god, not a man. I have seen the men across +the footlights: there were none like the Sahib. I said to my +mother, 'I do not like men, I do not want them; what shall I do?' +And my mother said, 'There is no hurry, my child; we will wait till +a rich Sahib comes.' But you are not a man, you must be a god, you +are so beautiful; and I am the slave of the Sahib, for ever and +ever." + +She looked up at him, great lights seemed to have been lighted in +the midnight pools of her eyes, the curved lips parted a little, +showing the perfect, even teeth; the rounded, warm-hued cheeks +glowed; the lids of her eyes lifted as those of a person looking +out into a new world. + +Hamilton stood looking at her, and two great seas of conflicting +emotions swept into his brain, and under their tumult he remained +irresolute. Mere instincts and nature, the common impulse of the +male to take his pleasure whenever offered, prompted him to draw +her to his breast and let her learn the great joy of life in his +arms; but some higher feeling held him back: the knowledge that the +first way in which a woman learns these things colours her whole +after estimation of them, restrained him. + +Here he saw, suddenly, there was new ground for Love to build +himself a habitation upon. Should it be but a rude shanty, loosely +constructed of Desire? Was it not rather such a fair and lovely +site that it was worthy a perfect temple, built and finished with +delicate care? + +This flower of wonderful bloom he had found by chance in such a +poor, rough garden, was it not better to carry it gently to some +sheltered spot, to transplant and keep it for his own, rather than +just tear at it with a careless touch in passing by? + +Hamilton had the brain of the artist and the poet; things touched +him less by their reality than by that strange halo imagination +throws round them. + +The sound of some shuffling steps in the passage outside, a lurch +as of some drunken and unsteady figure, some whispered words, and +then a burst of ribald laughter just outside the door, decided him. +No: her wedding night should not be here. Keen in his sympathy with +women, Hamilton knew how often that night recurs to a woman's +thoughts, and should its memories always bring back to her this +loathsome shed, these hideous sounds? + +A repulsion so great filled him that it swept back his desire for +the moment. A great eagerness to get her away unharmed, unsoiled +from such a place, filled him. Already she seemed to be part of +himself, to be a possession he must guard. His heart was empty and +hungry: by means of her beauty and this strange unexpected +innocence she had so suddenly revealed to him, she had leapt into +it, made it her own. He sat down on the mean, dingy bed, and drew +her warm, supple body into his arms: she stood within their circle +submissively, quivering with pleasure. His touch was very gentle +and reverent, for he was a man who knew the value of essentials; +his brain was keen enough to go down to them and judge of them, +undeterred and unhindered and undeceived by externals, by +fictitious emblems. He saw here that he was in the presence of a +tender, youthful, unformed mind of complete innocence, and the +abhorrent surroundings affected that essential not at all. + +A married woman in his own rank, with her dozen lovers and her +knowledge of evil, high in the favour of the world, could never +have had from him the same reverence that he gave to this +dancing-girl of the Deccan, who in the world's eyes was but a +creature put under his feet for him to trample on. + +"Would you like to leave all these people and come to live only +with me? dance only for me?" he said softly, looking into those +great wondering eyes fixed in awe upon his face. + +"Would you like to have a house to yourself, and a garden full of +flowers, and stay there with me alone?" + +The girl clasped her hands joyously, smile after smile rippled +over the brilliant face. + +"Oh, Sahib, it would be paradise! If I can stay with the Sahib, I +shall be happy anywhere. I am the slave of the Sahib. If he but use +me as the mat before his door to walk upon, I shall be content." + +Hamilton shivered. He drew her a little closer. "Hush! I do not +like to hear you say those things. You shall come to me and sleep +in my arms, but not to-night. Love is a very great thing: it will +be a great thing with us, and it must not be thought of lightly, do +you see? Will you stay here and think of me only till I come again? +Think of your bridal night with me, dream of me till I come back +for you?" + +"The Sahib's will is my law; but even if I wished, I could think of +nothing else but him till I see him again," she responded, her eyes +fixed upon his face. Hamilton gazed upon her. She made such a +lovely picture standing there: he thought he had never seen beauty +so perfect, so exquisitely fresh. The soft transparent tunic did +not conceal it, only lightly veiled its bloom. Her breasts, rounded +and firm, stood out as a statue's. They seemed to express the +vigour of her buoyant youth: they had never known artificial +support, and needed none. The waist was naturally slight, the hips +also, the straight supple limbs and round arms were the most +richly-modelled parts, perhaps, of the whole perfect form. + +Hamilton slipped his arm down to her yielding waist and drew her +closer. Then he bent his head and kissed the wonderfully-carved and +glowing mouth. With a little cry of joy the girl threw both arms +about his neck and kissed him back with a wealth of fervour in her +lips, pressing her soft bosom against his in all the natural, +unrestrained ardour of a first and new-found love. + +"Sahib, Sahib! do not leave me long. Come and take me away soon! I +am all yours! No other shall see me till you come again." + +Hamilton was satisfied. He raised his head, his whole ardent nature +aflame. + +"Dear little girl, let us go then to the old woman, and perhaps I +can pay her enough to make her take you away from here, and keep +you safe till I can come for you." + +"Come, Sahib, come!" she answered, joyfully drawing out of his +arms and running across the room; she unbolted the door and pulled +it open, nearly causing the old woman who was crouched just +outside, and apparently leaning against it, to roll into the room. + +"Saidie, Saidie! you have no respect for me," she grumbled, getting +on her feet with some difficulty. Hamilton came up, and helped to +balance her as she stood. + +"Your Saidie pleases me very much," he said, drawing out a +pocket-book. "I want to take her away from here altogether. How +much do you ask for her?" + +The old woman's beady-black eyes twinkled and gleamed, and fixed on +the pocket-book. + +"It is not possible, Sahib," she said in a grumbling tone, "for me +to part with her and her services. A girl like that with her +beauty, her dancing, her singing! She will earn gold every night. +Let the Sahib come here each evening if he will and take his turn +with the rest. For a girl like that to go to one man alone is waste +and folly." + +The colour mounted to Hamilton's face. His brows contracted. + +"What I have to say is this," he answered sternly and briefly, "I +want this girl, and if you take her with you to some place of +safety for to-night, I will come to-morrow or the next day and give +you 2000 rupees for her--no more and no less. I have spoken." + +"Two thousand rupees!" replied shrilly the old woman, "for Saidie, +the star of the dancers, and not yet fifteen! No, Sahib, no! a +Parsee will give more than that for a half hour with her." + +Hamilton caught the old creature by her skinny arm: + +"You waste your words talking to me," he said. "I am a police +magistrate, and I can have your whole place here closed, and all of +you put in prison, if I choose. The girl is willing to come with +me, and I will take her and pay you well for her. You have her +ready for me to-morrow night, or you go to prison--which you +please." The old woman shivered at the word magistrate, and fell +trembling on her knees. + +"Let the Sahib have mercy! That great black brute will kill me if +the police come here. I take Saidie to my house, the Sahib comes +there when he will. He pays, he has her. It is all finished." + +She spread out her thin black hands in a shaking gesture of +finality, and then fell forward and kissed Hamilton's boots after +the complimentary but embarrassing manner of natives. Hamilton drew +back a little. He was angered that Saidie should be witness, +auditor of all this. She stood silent, passive, gazing at the hot, +angry colour mounting to his face. He bent forward and dragged the +old woman up by her arms. + +"Take this for yourself now," he said, putting a hundred-rupee note +into her hand, "and make no more difficulty. Take every care of +Saidie, and you will have your two thousand rupees very shortly." + +The old woman seized the note, and began to mumble blessings on +Hamilton, which he cut short: "Give me the name of your street and +the house where you live, that I may find you easily," he said, and +noted down the directions she gave him. Then he turned to the girl +and put his arm round her neck. + +"Dear Saidie! I trust to you. Remember it is your innocence, your +virtue, I love more than your beauty. Do not dance nor let anyone +see you till I come again." + +He kissed her on the lips as she promised him. The soft, warm form +thrilled against him as their lips met. Then with a mental wrench +he turned and went out of the room and quickly down the dark +passage. + +At the end his way was barred by the immense form of the negro. + +"Something for me, master; do not forget me! I keep the pretty +things here for the gentlemen to see." + +Hamilton drew back with loathing. Then he reflected--it was better, +perhaps, to keep all smooth. + +He dived into his pockets and found a roll of small notes, which he +pushed into the negro's hand. The man bowed and let him pass, and +Hamilton went on out into the street. + +It was evening now. The calm, lovely golden light of an Indian +evening fell all around him as he walked rapidly back to his +bungalow. As he entered it, how different he felt from the man who +had left it that morning! How light his footstep, how bright and +keen the tone of his voice! It quite surprised himself as he called +out to his butler that he was ready for dinner. Then he bounded up +to his room humming. His very muscles were of quite a different +texture seemingly now from an hour or two ago! How the blood flew +about joyously in his body! Dear Venus! she makes us pay generally, +but who can cavil at the glorious gifts she gives? As soon as his +dinner was disposed of, and all his other servants had retired from +the room, Hamilton called his butler, Pir Bakhs, to him, and held a +long conference with that intelligent and trustworthy individual. +Hamilton was one of those men that by reason of his strikingly good +looks, his charm of manner, his consideration for others, and his +complete control over himself that never allowed him to be betrayed +into an unjust word or action was greatly liked by every one, and +simply worshipped by his servants and all those in any way in a +position dependent on him. + +When to-night Pir Bakhs was honoured by his confidence, the +servant's whole will and all his keen energies rose with delight +to serve his master. After he had listened in silence to +Hamilton's wishes, he proceeded to make himself master of the whole +scheme, detail by detail. + +"The Sahib wishes a very beautiful bungalow far out, away from the +city? I know of one house across the desert; my cousin was butler +there. The Sahib went away to England, and the bungalow is to be +let furnished. Have I the Sahib's permission to go down to bazaar, +see my cousin to-night? I make all arrangements. I go to-morrow +morning; I get cook and all other servants. I stay there and make +all ready for the Sahib to-morrow evening." + +Hamilton smiled at the man's eagerness to serve him. He knew well +that secretly in his heart his Mahommedan butler had always +deplored the severely monastic style in which he had lived, the +absence of women in his master's bungalow, the emptiness of his +arms that should have had to bear his master's children, and that +he now was ready to welcome heartily his master's reformation. + +"Could you really do all that, Pir Bakhs?" he asked; "and can you +assure me that the house is a good one, and has the compound been +well kept up?" + +"The house is about the same as this, but not quite so large. It is +in the oasis of Deira, across the desert. The Sahib knows how well +the palms grow there. My cousin tells me the compound is very +large; the Sahib there kept four malis;[1] very fine garden, many +English roses there." + +[Footnote 1: Gardeners.] + +"English roses I do not care for, Pir Bakhs," returned Hamilton +with a melancholy smile. "The roses of the East are far fairer to +me." + +The butler bowed with his hand to his forehead. He took his +master's speech as a gracious compliment to his country. + +"Everything grow there," he answered, spreading out his hands: +"pomegranates, bamboo, mangoes, bananas, sago palm, cocoanut palm, +magnolia--everything. I go to-morrow, I engage malis; I have all +ready for the Sahib." + +"Very well, I trust you with it all. I shall keep on this house +just as it is, and leave most of the servants here. You and your +wives must come out with me, and you engage any other necessary +servants and hire any extra furniture you want." + +"The Sahib is very good to his servant," returned the butler, his +face lighting up joyfully. "When will the Sahib shed the light of +his countenance on the bungalow?" + +"I will try to run out to see it, to-morrow, after office hours," +replied Hamilton, "if you will have all ready by then. I shall look +over it, and return to dine here as usual. Then about ten or later, +I will come over and bring your new mistress out with me. You must +have a good supper waiting for us. Take over all the linen and +plate you may want, but see that enough is left in this house so +that I can entertain the English Sahibs here if I want to, and let +my riding camel be well fed early. I shall use him for coming and +going. That's all, I think." + +The butler bowed, and retired radiant with joyous importance, and +Hamilton sat on alone by the table thinking. The blood ran at high +tide along his veins, his eyes glowed, looking into space. Life, he +thought, what a joyous thing it was when it stretched out its hands +full of gifts! + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +The following afternoon, directly his work at the office was +finished, he went out to the oasis in the desert to look at his new +possession, his bungalow in the palms. + +The moment he saw it peeping out from amongst them, and surrounded +by roses, he expressed himself satisfied, and named the place +Saied-i-stan, or the place of happiness. + +The butler met him there; he was bursting with self-importance. + +"You leave everything to me, Sahib--everything. I know all the +Sahib wants. He shall have all. Let him come, ten o'clock, nine +o'clock, no matter when; all quite ready. I am here. I have +everything waiting for the Sahib." + +Hamilton smiled and praised him, and went back to the station; took +a pretence of dinner and a hurried cup of coffee, and then went +down into the bazaar with the precious bit of paper containing the +directions to Saidie's dwelling-place in his breast pocket. + +He found the house at last, and, going in at the doorless +entrance, climbed patiently the wooden stairs that ran straight up +from it in complete darkness. On the topmost landing--a frail +wooden structure that creaked beneath his feet--he paused, and +rapped twice on the door opposite him. + +His heart beat rapidly as he stood there; the blood seemed flying +through it. All the strength of his vigorous body seemed gathering +itself together within him, all the fire of his keen, hungry brain +leapt up, and waiting there in the dark on the narrow landing he +knew the joy of life. + +The door was opened. In a moment his eye swept round the interior +of the high windowless room. The floor was bare, with mats here and +there, and in the centre stood a flat pan of charcoal, glowing +under a closed and steaming cooking-pot. At one end a coarse chick, +suspended from a wooden bar, dropped its long lines to the floor, +and behind this, on some cushions, sat Saidie with another of the +dancing-girls. + +The old woman who had opened the door, salaamed, touching the floor +with her forehead as Hamilton walked in, and then securely shut and +fastened the door behind him. Saidie rose and looked through the +shimmering lines of the chick at him as he entered. + +Very handsome the tall commanding figure looked in the mean, bare +room: the long neck and well-modelled head, with its black, +close-cut hair, stood out a noble relief against the colourless +wall, and the clear brown skin, with the warm tint of quick blood +in it that showed above the English collar, arrested the girl's +eyes with a keen thrill of joy. Looking at him, she felt rushing +through her the passionate delight that self-surrender to such a +man would be. Without waiting to be summoned, she parted the lines +of the chick, came out from them, and fell on her knees at his +feet. + +The heat in the shut-up room was very great, and she was wearing +only a straight white muslin tunic, through which all the soft +beauty of her form could be seen, as an English face is seen +through a veil. Her hair was looped back from her brows and tied +simply with a piece of green ribbon, as an English girl's might +have been, and flowed in its thick, black glossy waves to her +waist. + +Hamilton bent over her and raised her in his arms, feeling in that +moment, though the whole universe were reeling and rocking round +him to its ruin, he would care nothing while he pressed that soft +breast to his. + +The old woman sat down cross-legged by the charcoal, and began to +fan it. + +The other girl behind the chick looked out curiously, but her eyes +never noted the strength and beauty of Hamilton's figure, nor the +bright glow in the oval cheek: she looked to see if he wore rings +on his fingers, and tried to catch sight of the links in his cuffs +to see if they were silver or gold. + +Saidie had the divine gift of passion: all the fire of the gods in +her veins. Zenobie had none, and Saidie's joy now was something she +could not understand. + +"Have you come to take me away, now at once?" Saidie murmured in a +soft, passionate whisper close to his ear, and the accent of joy +and delight went quivering down through the deepest recesses of the +man's being. + +"Yes: are you ready to come with me?" Needless question! put only +for the supreme pleasure of listening to its answer. + +"Oh, more than ready," whispered the soft voice back. "How shall +the slave explain her longing to her lord?" + +Zenobie had come round the chick, while they stood by the door, and +drawn forward the one little low wooden stool that they possessed. +She came up now, and pulled at Saidie's sleeve. + +"Let the Sahib be seated," she said reprovingly, and Saidie let her +arms slip from his neck and drew him forward to the stool by the +charcoal pan. + +With some difficulty Hamilton drew up his long legs and seated +himself cautiously on the small seat; Saidie and Zenobie sat +cross-legged on the ground close to his feet. The old woman ceased +to fan the fire; the bright red glow of the coals fell softly on +the strong, noble beauty of the man's face, and Saidie, looking up +to it, sat speechless, her bosom heaving, her lips parted, her dark +eyes full of mysterious fires, melting, swimming, behind their veil +of lashes. + +Zenobie watched her with curiosity: what did she feel for this +infidel who wore no rings and only silver in his cuffs? + +Hamilton, as soon as he was seated, drew out his pocket-book--old +and worn, for he spent little on himself--and opened it. + +The old woman sat up. Zenobie's eyes gleamed: the business was +going to commence. Only Saidie did not stir nor move her eyes from +his face. + +"Two thousand rupees was the price agreed upon; here it is," he +said, taking out a thick bundle of notes that occupied the whole +inside of the poor, limp pocket-book; and as the old woman +stretched out a skinny claw for them and began to slowly count +them, he turned his gaze away, on to the upturned face of the girl +watching him with sensual adoration. + +The old woman counted through the notes, and then securely tied +them into the end of her chudda. + +"The sum is the due sum, well counted," she said, looking up; "and +when will my lord take his slave?" + +"To-night," Hamilton replied briefly, but not without a swift +enquiring glance into the girl's eyes. Though he had bought and +paid for her, he could not get out of the Western knack of +considering that the girl's desires had to be consulted. + +The old woman raised her hands in affected horror. + +"To-night! But she is not well clothed, she is not bathed and +anointed; the bridal robes are not prepared. My lord, it cannot +be!" + +Hamilton looked at Saidie; she crept to his side and put her head +on his breast. + +"Yes, to-night, take me to-night," she murmured eagerly; he smiled, +and put his arm around her. + +"The bridal clothes are of no consequence," he answered decisively. +"My camel waits below. I will take her to-night." + +"She has no shoes," objected the old woman. "She cannot descend the +stairs." + +"I will carry her down," replied Hamilton, and, springing up from +the little stool, he stooped over the lovely form at his feet, +raising her into his arms, close to his breast. Saidie clung to his +neck with a little cry of pleasure, her bare, warm-tinted feet hung +over his arm. + +The old woman gasped: Zenobie laughed. The Englishman looked so +big, so immensely strong. The weight of Saidie, tall and +well-developed as she was, seemed as nothing to him. + +"Zenobie, will you hold the lamp at the doorway, that he may see +his way?" Saidie cried out, slipping off a thin gold circlet she +wore on her arm, and letting it drop into the other's hands. + +"Farewell, Zenobie; may you be always as happy as I am now." + +Zenobie caught the bracelet and ran to the wall, unhooked the lamp +that hung there, and came to the door. + +"Farewell, my mother," Saidie said, as they turned to it. + +"Farewell, my daughter; be submissive to the Sahib, and obey him in +all things." + +The door was opened, and by the dim, uncertain light of Zenobie's +lamp, Hamilton, clasping his warm, living burden, went slowly and +heavily down the bending stairs, feeling the life brimming in every +vein. + +Outside, in the tranquil splendour of the starry Eastern night, +knelt the camel, peacefully awaiting its lord, and as Hamilton +approached it with his burden, it turned its head and large, liquid +eyes upon him with a gurgle of pleasure. + +"The camel loves Hamilton Sahib," murmured the girl, as he set her +on the soft red cloth laid over the animal's back, which formed the +only saddle. He took his own place in front of her. + +"Hold to my belt firmly," he told her, gathering into his hand the +light rein. "Are you ready for him to rise?" + +He felt her little, soft hands glide in between his belt and waist. + +"Yes, I am quite ready," she answered, and at a word of +encouragement, the great beast rose with its slow, stately swing to +its feet, and Hamilton guided it towards the Meidan. The soft, hot +air stirred against their faces as they moved through the night. + +Nothing could present a more lovely picture than the bungalow that +evening. A low, white house, looking in the moonlight as if built +of marble, surrounded by masses of palms which threw a delicate +tracery of shadow upon it and drooped their beautiful, fan-like, +feathery branches over it, between it and the jewelled sky. + +A light verandah ran around the lower of the two stories, +completely covered by the white, star-like bloom of the jessamine +that poured forth floods of fragrance like incense on the hot, +still air, and a giant pink magnolia rioted over the wide porch of +lattice-work. Within it was brightly lighted, and a warm glow from +shaded lamps came out from each window, stealing softly through the +veil of scented jessamine and falling on the masses of pink roses +surrounding the house. + +The deep peace, the sweet scent in the silence, the kiss of the +moonlight and the starlight on the sleeping flowers, the exquisite +form of the shadows on the white wall, filled Hamilton with +pleasure: each sense seemed subtly ministered to; he felt as if +invisible spirits round him were feeding him with ambrosia. + +He turned round to Saidie as the camel slowly and majestically +entered the compound gate, and saw her clearly framed in the soft +silver light; all this wondrous beauty round them seemed to be to +her beauty but as the harmonies that in an opera float round the +central air. And she smiled as he turned upon her. + +"How do you like your new house, Saidie?" he said, half laughing as +he leant back to her. + +"Surely it is Paradise, Sahib," she murmured back in awestruck +tones. + +Within the door waited the servants to welcome them in a double +line, and as Saidie entered, they fell flat with their faces on the +floor. She passed through the prostrate row saluting them, and on +to the foot of the stairs. The ayah that the butler had engaged +rose and followed her mistress upstairs, where she was ushered into +her bath and dressing-room; while the butler, swelling with +importance and joyous pride, led Hamilton to the large room he had +prepared as a bedroom on the first floor. As they went in Hamilton +gave a murmur of approval very dear to the man's heart, as he heard +it, standing respectfully by the door. + +The room was large, and two windows, draped with curtains, stood +open to the soft night. + +The bed in the centre of the room was one of the wide Indian +charpais which are unrivalled for comfort, and glimmered softly +white beneath its filmy mosquito curtains in the lamplight shed by +four handsome rose-shaded lamps. Small tables stood everywhere, +bearing vases of fresh flowers, roses, and stephanotis; a rich, +deep rose-coloured carpet spread all over the floor, with only a +small border of chetai visible round the walls; and two easy-chairs +of the same colour and numerous smaller ones piled up with cushions +completed the equipment of the room. The air was full of scent, and +the scheme of colour in the room perfect. Nothing but rose and +white was allowed to meet the eye. The flowers were selected with +this view, and the great bowls of roses all blushed the same +glorious tint through the snowy whiteness of the stephanotis. + +The room suggested, in its softly-lighted glow of pink and white, a +bridal chamber. + +Hamilton turned to his servant with a pleased smile on his +handsome, animated face. + +"You are an artist, Pir Bakhs, and a sort of magician, to do all +this in twelve hours." + +Pir Bakhs bowed and salaamed by the door, his well-formed polished +face wreathed in many smiles. + +Downstairs the girl was already waiting for her lord, bathed, and +with her long hair shaken out and brushed after the dust of the +desert ride, and looped back from her forehead by a fresh green +ribbon. She did not sit down, but stood waiting. + +This room showed the same care as the upper one, and the table was +laid out with Hamilton's plate and glass and four beautiful +epergnes held the flowers. + +Natives are artists, particularly in colour arrangements; the whole +colour scheme here was white and green, and any table in Belgravia +would have had hard work to equal this one. Saidie stood looking at +it, and the servants, already ranged by the sideboard, stood with +their eyes on the ground, yet conscious of her wonderful beauty, +and pleased by it in the same way that they would have felt pride +and pleasure in the beauty and good condition of a new horse or +camel acquired by their master. + +After a few minutes Hamilton came down. He had put on his evening +clothes as they had been laid out for him by the bearer, and +looked radiant as he entered. + +Saidie gave a little cry as she saw him. His present dress, well +cut and close-fitting, showed his splendid figure to greater +advantage than the loose suit she had seen him in hitherto. His +long neck carried his fine, spirited head erect, and the masses of +thick, black hair, with just the least wave in it, shone in the +lamplight. His well-cut face, with its gay animation and charming, +debonair, unaffected expression, made a kingly and perfect picture +to the girl's dazzled eyes. + +As they took their places and their soup was served, she could not +detach her gaze from his face. + +He laughed as he looked at her. + +"Come, you must be hungry. Take your soup while it's hot; don't +waste your time looking at me." + +"Sahib, I cannot help looking at you. You are so wonderful to me! +Please give me leave to. I do not want any soup." + +Hamilton, who by this time had finished his own, leant back in his +chair and laughed again, looking at her with eyes blazing with +mirth and passion. This innocent, genuine admiration was very +pleasing to him in its flattery; this worship offered to himself, +rather than his gifts, was something new to him, and the girl's +beauty sent all the fires of life in quick streams through his +frame as he looked on it. He was alive for the first time in his +existence, and filled with a surprised happiness as great as the +girl's. He was as virgin to joy as she was to love. "You are the +dearest little girl I ever knew," he said; "but if you won't take +soup, you must eat fish. Yes, I positively refuse you my permission +to look at me till you have finished that whole plate." + +Saidie dropped her eyes to her fish very submissively at this, +while Hamilton himself filled her glass. + +"Have you ever tasted wine?" he asked. "This is champagne; drink +it, and tell me what you think of it." + +"All my people are Mahommedans; we do not drink wine," Saidie +replied, taking up the glass and sipping from it. + +"Perhaps you won't like it," he suggested, watching her. + +"If the Sahib gives it to me I shall like it," replied Saidie, +smiling at him over the delicate golden glass: it threw its light +upwards into her great gleaming eyes, and Hamilton kissed the +little hand that put the glass gently down on the table again. + +Next after the fish came game and joints, course after course, more +food in that one meal than Saidie was accustomed to see for many +people for a week. Her own appetite was soon satisfied, and she sat +for the most part gazing at Hamilton, with her hands tightly locked +together in her lap: such a nervous delight filled her, such a +strange joy in knowing herself to be alive, to be possessed of a +beautiful body that by reason of its beauty was worthy the caresses +of a man like this; such a pure rapture animated every fibre, to +realise that it was in her power to give pleasure to him. With such +feelings as these no faintest hint of humiliation or degradation +could mingle. Saidie felt only that superb and joyous pride that +Nature originally intended the female to have in her surrender to +the male. + +Her very breath seemed to flutter softly with joyous trepidation +and excitement as it passed over her lips. That she was to be his, +held in his arms, admitted to his embrace, seemed to her to be the +crown of her life, an honour given by special divine favour. + +So must Rhea Sylvia have felt praying before her Vestal altar when +Mars first appeared to her startled eyes. + +And Hamilton, with his keen, sensitive temperament, saw into her +mind clearly, and was fully aware of all this fervent adoration, +this intense passionate worship springing within her; and an +immense tenderness and reverence grew up within him, enclosing all +his passion as the crystal vessel encloses the crimson wine. + +That she would not in her present state have shrunk or flinched +from a knife, if only his hand held it while it wounded her, he +knew quite well, and this wonderful voluntary self-sacrifice which +is the soul of all female passion appealed to him as a very holy +thing. + +He knew that constantly this adoring love was poured out by women +for men, that almost every virgin heart beats with this same +worship as the first pain of love enters it, but ah! for how short +a time! How quickly the man tears open those eyes that would so +willingly be closed to his vileness! how soon come the infidelity, +the lies and the meanness, the trickery and the treachery! How +assiduously the man teaches the woman who loves him that there is +nothing in him worthy of adoration, not even admiration, not even +decent respect! How little confidence, how little credence she soon +gives to his word that was once so sacred to her! How in her heart, +though her lips say nothing, is that once rapturous worship changed +into a measureless contempt! + +Men persistently teach women that they must not expect the best +from them, but the lowest. And the women cry in pain as they see +the white mantle of their love trampled upon and dragged in the +mire of lies and falseness, and they take it back from the base +hands and burn it in the fires kindled in their outraged hearts. +Something of this flashed through Hamilton's brain as he met the +adoring trust and love in the girl's eyes, and an unspoken vow +formed itself within him that he would not deceive and betray it, +that his lips should not lie to her, that to the end he would be to +her as she now saw him in the glamour of those first hours. + +When he had tempted her to every sweet and bon-bon on the table, +and made her drink all the wine he thought good for her, he sent +the servants away, and they remained alone together in the +dining-room with their coffee before them. He put his arm round +her, and drawing her out of her own chair, took her on to his knees +and pressed her head down on his shoulder. + +"Are you not tired with that long ride on the camel?" he asked. + +"No, Sahib, I am not tired." + +The soft weight of her body pressed upon him; her lids drooped over +her eyes as her head leaned against his neck. + +"I think you are tired and very sleepy," he repeated, pinching the +glowing arm in its transparent muslin sleeve. + +"If the Sahib says so, I must be," responded Saidie quite simply. + +"Come, then, and sleep," he said in her ear, and they went +upstairs. + +Saidie gave a little cry of delight as they entered together the +rose-filled room, and beyond its soft shaded lights she saw the +great flashing planets in the dark sky. + +"This is a different and a better home for love than we had last +night," said Hamilton softly, as he closed the door. + +A great peace reigned all round them. Within and without the +bungalow there was no sound. The lights burned steadily and +subdued, the sweet scent of the flowers hung in the air like a +silent benediction upon them. + +He put his arm round her, and felt her tremble excessively as his +hand unfastened the clasp of her tunic. He stopped, surprised. + +"Why do you tremble so? Are you afraid of me?" he asked, looking +down upon her, all the tenderness and strength of a great passion +in his eyes. + +"No, no," she returned passionately, "I tremble because great waves +of happiness rush over me at your touch. I cannot tell you what I +feel, Sahib; the love and happiness within me is breaking me into +fragments." + +"Then you must break in my arms," he murmured back softly, drawing +her into his embrace, "so that I shall not lose even one of them." + + * * * * * + +In the morning a flood of sunlight rushing into the room through +the open windows, bringing with it the gay chatter of birds, roused +the lovers. Hamilton opened his eyes first, and, lifting his head +from the pillow, looked down upon Saidie still asleep beside him. +In the rich mellow light of the room her loveliness glowed under +his eyes like a jewel held in the sun. He hardly drew his breath, +looking down upon her. Her heavy hair, full of deep purplish +shades, and with the wave in it not unusual in the Asiatic, was +pushed off the pale, pure bronze of the forehead, on which were +drawn so perfectly the long-sweeping Oriental brows. The nose, +delicately straight, with its proud high-arched nostrils, and the +tiny upper lip, led the eye on to the finely-carved Eastern mouth, +of which the lips now were softly, firmly folded in repose. How +exquisitely Nature had fashioned those lips, putting more elaborate +work in those lines and curves of that one feature than in the +whole of an ordinary English face. Hamilton hung over her, filled +with a passion of tenderness, watching the gentle breath move +softly the warm column of bronze throat and raise the soft, full +breast. + +Passion, in its highest phase, is indeed the supreme gift of the +gods. In giving it to a mortal for once they forget their envy: for +once they raise him to their level; for that once they grant him +divinity. + +Hamilton now marvelled at himself. The whole fruit of his forty +years of life--all that accomplished work, success, wealth, +rewarded worth, satisfied ambition, all the pleasures his youth, +his health and strength, and powers had always brought him, crushed +together--could not equal this: the charm and ecstasy with which he +gazed down on this warm beauty of the flesh beside him. + +And yet he knew that it was not really in that flesh, not even in +that beauty, that lay the delight. It was in himself, in his own +intense desire, and the gratification of it, that the joy had +birth; and if the gods give not this desire, no matter what else +they give, it is useless. + +The girl might have been as lovely, Hamilton himself, and all the +circumstances the same, yet waking thus he might have been but the +ordinary poor, cold, clay-like mortal a man usually is. But the +great desire for this beauty that had flamed up within him, now in +its possession, gave him that fervour and fire, those wings to his +soul, that seemed to make him divine. It was for him one of those +moments for which men live a life-time, as he indeed had done, but +they repay him when they come. To some, they come never. To these +life must indeed be dark. + +Suddenly the girl opened her eyes; the fire in his bent upon her +seemed to electrify and thrill her into life, and with a little +murmur of delight she stretched up her rounded arms to him. + +At breakfast Hamilton regretted he should have to leave her all +day; what would she do? + +"You must not think of it, Sahib," she answered. "Have I not the +garden? I shall be quite happy. I shall sing all day long to the +flowers about my lord, and count the minutes till he comes back." + +The office did not attract Hamilton at all that day, yet he felt it +was better to attend there as usual, to make no break in his usual +routine. + +Scandal there was sure to be, sooner or later, about his +desert-bungalow, but at least it was better not to give to the +scandal-mongers the power to say he had neglected his duties. Yet +he lingered over his departure, and took her many times into his +arms to kiss her before he went, keeping his impatient Arab waiting +at the door. He would not use the camel again this morning, but +left it resting in its corner of the compound beneath the palms. + +After Hamilton had gone, Saidie stepped through the long window +into the verandah, full of green light, completely shaded as it was +by the giant convolvulus that spread all over it. The chetai +crushed softly under her feet, and she went on slowly to the end +where it opened to the compound. Here she stood for a moment gazing +into the wilderness of beauty of mingled sun and shade before her. + +Against the dazzling blue of the sky the branches of the palms +stood out in gleaming gold, throwing their light shade over the +masses of crimson and white and yellow roses that rioted together +beneath. Groves of the feathery bamboo drooped their delicate +stems in the fervent, sweet-scented heat, over the white, +thick-lipped lilies, from one to other of which passed languidly +on velvet wings great purple butterflies. + +The pomegranate trees made a fine parade of their small, exquisite +scarlet flowers, and pushed them upwards into the sparkling +sunlight through the veils of white starry blossoms of the +jessamine that climbed over and trailed from every tree in the +compound. + +The girl went forward dreaming. How completely, superbly happy she +was! And she had nothing but the gifts of Nature, such as she, the +kindly one, gives to the gay bird swinging on the bough, the +butterfly on the flower, the deer springing on the hills: health +and youth, beauty and love. + +These only were hers; nothing that man ordinarily strives +for--neither wealth nor fame, fine houses, costly garments, jewels, +slaves, power; none of these were hers. Over her body hung simply a +muslin tunic worth a few annas; of the garden in which she stood +not a flower belonged to her, no weight of jewels lay on her happy +heart. She had no name; she was only a dancing-girl from the +Deccan. With the animals she shared that wonderful kingdom of joy +that they possess: their food and mate secured, their vigorous +health bounding in their limbs, their beauty radiant in their +perfect bodies. + +Are they not the Lords of Creation in the sense that they are lords +of joy? Man is the slave of the earth, doomed by his own vile lusts +to bondage of the most dismal kind. All of those gifts that Nature +gives, and from which alone can be drawn happiness, he tramples +beneath his feet, putting his neck under the yoke of ceaseless +toil, striving for things which in the end bring neither peace nor +joy. + +All within the compound under the reign of Nature rejoiced. The +parroquets swung on the trees, and the butterflies floated from the +marble whiteness of the lily's cloisters to the deep, warm recesses +of the rose, and the dancing-girl walked singing through the +sparkling, scented air thinking of her lord. + +Hamilton, speeding down the dusty, burning road to his office in +the native city, felt a strange bounding of his heart as his +thoughts clung to the low, white bungalow amongst the palms +outside the station, and all that it held for him. + +He went through his work that day with a wonderful energy, born of +the new life within him. Nothing fatigued, nothing worried him. The +court-house air did not oppress him. He heard the pleadings and +made his decisions with ease and promptitude. His patience, +gentleness, his clearness and force of brain were wonderful. The +whole electricity of his body was satisfied: the man was perfectly +well and perfectly happy. Who cannot work under such conditions? In +the evening his horse was brought round, and with a wild leaping of +the heart he swung himself into the saddle. The animal felt +instantly the elation of his master, and at once broke into a +canter; as this was not checked, he threw up his lovely head, and +as Hamilton turned across the plain, let himself go in a long +gallop towards where the palms glowed living gold against the +rose-hued sky. + +Hamilton had hardly passed through the white chick into the +interior of the house before he heard the sound of bare feet upon +the matting, and through the soft magnolia-scented, pinky gloom of +the room, shaded from the sunset light, Saidie came and fell at his +knees, taking his dusty hands and kissing them. + +Hamilton lifted her up, and held her a little from him, that he +might feast his eyes on the delicate beautiful carving of the lips, +and on the great velvet eyes, soft, round throat, and breasts +swelling so warmly lovely under the transparent gauze. + +Then he crushed her up in his arms close to his breast, and carried +her to their own room with the golden and green chicks all round +it, where the servants did not come without a summons. The garland +she had twisted on her head smelt sweetly of roses, and the masses +of her silky hair of sandal-wood; her soft lips, that knew so well +instinctively the art of kissing, were on his; the warm, tender +arms clasped his neck. All the way that he carried her she murmured +little words of passion in his ear. + +After dinner the servants carried chairs for them into the +verandah, with a small table laden with drinks and sweetmeats, that +they might sit and watch the moon rising behind the palms in the +compound, and see the hot silver light pour slowly through their +exquisite branches and foliage. + +"How did you amuse yourself all day?" he asked her as she sat on +his knee, his arm round the flexible, supple waist pulsating under +the silky web of her tunic. + +"I was so happy. I had so much to do, so much to think of," she +answered, gazing back into his eyes bent upon her, and eagerly +drawing in their fire. "I wandered in the compound and made garland +after garland, then I sang to my rabab and practised my dancing. In +the heat I went in and slept on my lord's bed dreaming of him--ah! +how I dreamt of him!" She broke off sighing, and those sighs fanned +the blazing fires in the man's veins. + +"You were quite contented, then, with your day?" + +"How could I not be contented when I had my lord to think about, +his love of last night, his love of the coming night?" + +Hamilton sighed and smiled at the same time. + +"English wives need more than that to make them content," he +answered. + +"English wives," repeated Saidie, with her laugh like the sound of +a golden bell; "what do they know of love?" + +"Not much certainly, I think," replied Hamilton. + +For a moment the vision of a thin blonde face, with its expression +of sour discontent, rose before him. What had he not given that +woman--what had she not demanded? Extravagant clothes to deck out +her tall lean body, a carriage to drive her here and there, a +mansion to live in, all the money he could gain by constant +work--these things she demanded because she was his wife, and he +had given them, and yet she was always discontented, simply because +she was one of those women who do not know desire nor the delight +of it. This one had nothing but that divine gift, and it made all +her life joy. + +"Dance for me now in the cool," murmured Hamilton in the little +fine curved ear with the rose-bud just over it. + +Saidie slipped off his knee, and fastening the little gilt link at +her neck more securely, drew her soft filmy garment more closely to +her, and commenced to dance before him in the screened verandah, +with the hot moonlight, filtered through the delicate tracery; of +innumerable leaves falling on her smooth, warm-tinted body. + +To please him, to please him, her lord, her owner, her king: it was +the one passion in her thoughts, and it flowed through every limb +and muscle, glowed in her eyes, quivered on her parted lips, and +made each movement a miracle of sweet sinuous grace. + +The soft, hot night passed minute by minute, the scents of a +thousand flowers mingled together in the still violet air. Some +white night-moths came and fluttered round the exquisite form on +whose rounded contours the light played so softly, and Hamilton lay +back in his chair, silent, absorbed, hardly drawing his breath +through his lungs, shaken by the nervous beating of his heart. +Motionless he lay there, almost breathless, for the wine of life +was in all his veins, mounting to his head, intoxicating him. + +"I am very tired; may I stop now?" came at last in a low murmur +from the curved lips so sweetly smiling at him, and the whole soft +body drooped like a flower with fatigue. Hamilton opened his arms +wide. She saw how the fresh colour glowed in the handsome cheek, +how his splendid neck swelled as the red deer's in November, how +the dark eyes blazed upon her. + +"Come to me," he commanded, and she flew to his arms as the +love-bird flies upward to her mate in the pomegranate tree. + + + + +CHAPTER III + + +For three months Hamilton and Saidie lived in the white bungalow in +the palms, and drank of the wine of life together, and were happy +in the overwhelming intoxication it gives. + +For three months Saidie lived there, never going beyond the +precincts of the house and the palace of flowers that was the +compound. + +Why should she leave them? What had she to gain by going out into +the dusty way? What had she to seek? Her garden of Eden, her +Paradise, was here. She was too wise to go beyond its limits. + +Pedlars and merchants of all sorts brought their best and richest +wares to her, and Hamilton sat by her in the verandah, commanding +her to buy all that pleased her, though she protested she needed +nothing. + +Jewels for her neck, and gold anklets and bracelets, and robes and +sweetmeats were laid out before her. Only the best of the bazaar +was brought, and of this again only the best was chosen. And when +Hamilton was not there she walked from room to room singing, +clothed in purple silken gauze, with his jewels blazing on her +breast, his kisses still burning on her lips. Then she would take +her rabab and play to the listening flowers, or practise her +dancing, the source of his pleasure, or lie in the noonday heat on +the edge of the bubbling spring that rose up in the moss under the +boughain-villia and look towards the East and dream of his +home-coming. What did she want more? + +Hamilton now lived the enchanted life of one who is wholly absorbed +in a secret passion. He was wise--more wise than men generally +are--and made no effort to parade his treasure. This wonderful +exotic, this flower of happiness, that bloomed so vividly in the +dark, secluded recesses of his heart, how did he know that the +destructive heat and light of publicity might not fade and sear +its marvellous petals? He told no one of his life; took no one out +into the desert with him, to the bungalow among the palms. + +He was away a great deal. His work and certain social duties +claimed a large part of his day, and during all that time he had to +leave her alone with her flowers, but this gave him no anxiety. It +was not a dangerous experiment, as it always is to leave a European +woman alone. He knew that Saidie, the Oriental, would spend the +whole time dreaming of him, longing for him, singing to the flowers +of him, talking to her women-attendants of him, filling the whole +garden and house with his image till the longed-for moment of his +return. + +And to Hamilton, full of unspoiled life and vigour, this security, +this certainty of her complete fidelity was a wondrous charm. + +Unlike a man of jaded passions, who requires his love to be +constantly stimulated by the fear of imminent loss, Hamilton, full +of unused strength, and thirsty after the joy of life, now that the +cup was offered him, drank of it naturally and with ecstasy, +needing no salt and bitter olives of jealousy between the +draughts. + +For years he had longed for love and happiness: at last he had +found both, and with simple, uncavilling thankfulness he clasped +them to his breast and held them there, content. + +Saturday and Sunday were their great days. Hamilton left the office +at two on Saturday afternoon, and was back at the bungalow by five. + +They went to bed early that night, and rose on the Sunday morning +with the first glimmer of dawn. Everything would be prepared +overnight for a day's excursion and picnic in the desert, which +Saidie particularly delighted in. + +The great brown camel, fat and sleek like all Hamilton's animals, +and with an enormous weight of rich hair on his supple neck, would +be kneeling waiting for them below in the dewy compound, while the +early tender light stole softly through the palms; and they would +mount and go swinging out through the great open spaces of the +desert, full of delicate white light, towards the sister-oasis of +Dirampir, where masses of cocoanut palms grew round a set of +springs, and waved their branches joyfully as they drew in the salt +nourishment of the air from the amethystine sea not fifty miles +distant. + +Into the shelter of these palms they would come as the first great +golden wave of light from the climbing sun broke over the desert, +and, descending from the camel, walk about in the groves by the +spring, and select a place for boiling their kettle and having +their breakfast. The long ride in the keen air of the morning gave +them great appetites, and they enjoyed it in the whole joyous +beauty of the scene round them. The palm branches over them grew +gold against the laughing blue of the sky, a thousand shafts of +sunlight pierced through the fan-like tracery, the golden orioles +at play darted, chasing each other from bough to bough, the spring +bubbled its cool musical notes beside them, and the sense of the +blighting heat of the ravening desert round them seemed to +accentuate the beauty of the peace and shade in the oasis. + +Saidie enjoyed these days beyond everything, and would sit singing +at the foot of a palm, weaving a garland of white clematis for +Hamilton's handsome head as it rested on her lap. + +No English people ever came to the oasis; as a matter of fact, the +English generally do avoid the best and most beautiful spots in or +near an Indian station; but the place was greatly beloved by the +natives who came there to doze and dream, play, sing, and weave +garlands in the usual harmless manner in which a native takes his +pleasure. Looking at them standing or sitting in their harmonious +groups against a background of golden light and delicate shade, +Hamilton often thought how well this scene compared with that of +the Britisher taking a holiday--Hampstead Heath, for instance, with +its noisy drunkenness, its spirit of hateful spite, its ill-used +animals, its loathsome language. The Oriental endeavours to enjoy +himself, and his method is generally peaceful and poetic: the +singing of songs, the weaving of garlands, and the letting alone of +others. The Briton's idea of enjoying himself is extremely simple; +it consists solely in annoying his neighbours. + +To see a handsome English Sahib here was to the habitual +frequenters of the oasis something rather remarkable, but these +people are early taught the custody of the eyes and to mind their +own business. Therefore Hamilton and Saidie were not troubled by +offensive stares, or in any other way. All there were free, +gathered to enjoy themselves, each man in his own way; and the +natives in their gay colours added to the beauty, without +disturbing the peace of the scene, much as the bright-plumaged +birds that flitted from tree to tree absorbed in their own affairs. + +How Hamilton enjoyed those long, calm, golden hours--the golden +hours of Asia, so full of the enchantment of rich light and colour, +soft beauty before the eyes, sweet scent of the jessamine in the +nostrils, the warbling of birds, and Saidie's love songs in his +ears! + +Not till the glorious rose of the sunset diffused itself softly in +the luminous sky, and all the desert round them grew pink, and the +shadows of the palms long in the oasis, and the great planets above +them burst blazing into view into the still rose-hued sky, did they +rise from the side of the spring and begin to think of their +homeward ride. And what a delight it was that night ride home +through the majestic silence of the desert, where their own hearts' +beating and the soft footfall of the camel were the only sounds! +the wild flash of planet and star, and sometimes the soft glimmer +of the rising moon, their only light! Eros, the god of passion, +seated with them on the camel, their only companion! + +To Saidie, cradled in his arms, looking upwards to his face above +her, its beauty distinct in the soft light, feeling his heart +beating against her side, it seemed as if her happiness was too +great for the human frame to bear, as if it must dissolve, melt +into nothingness, against his breast, and her spirit pass into the +great desert solitudes, dispersed, almost annihilated, in the agony +and ecstasy of love. + +Week after week passed lightly by in their brilliant setting, the +hours on their winged feet danced by, and these two lived +independent of all the world, wrapped up in their own intimate joy. + +One morning, just as he was about to leave the bungalow, he heard +Saidie's voice calling him back. He turned and saw her smiling +face hanging over the stair-rail above him. He remounted the +stairs, and she drew him into their room. Her face was radiant, her +eyes blazed with light as she looked at him. + +"I have something to tell you, Sahib! I could not let you go +without saying it. Only think! is not Allah good to me? I am to be +the mother of the Sahib's child," and she fell on her knees, +kissing his hands in a passion of joy. Hamilton stood for the +moment silent. He was startled, unprepared for her words, unused to +the wild joy with which the Oriental woman hails a coming life. + +Her message carried a certain shock to him: it augured change; and +his happiness had been so perfect, so absolute, what would change, +any change, even if wrought by the divine Hand itself, mean to him +but loss? + +Saidie, terrified at his silence, looked up at him wildly. + +"What have I done? Is not my lord pleased?" Her accent was one of +the acutest fear. + +Hamilton bent down and raised her to his breast. + +"Dearest one, light of my soul, how could I not be pleased?" and +he kissed her many times on the lips, and on the soft upper arm +that pressed his throat, and on her neck, till even she was +satisfied. + +"Come and sit with me for a moment that I may tell you all," she +said. Hamilton sat beside her on the bed, and she told him many +things that an Englishwoman would never say, nor would it enter +into her mind to conceive them. + +Hamilton was greatly moved as he sat listening. The wonderful +imagery, the vivid language in which she clothed her pure joyous +thoughts appealed to his own poetic, artistic habit of mind. + +On his way across the desert to the city, Hamilton pondered deeply +over the news and the girl's unaffected joy. Since all those +whispered confidences poured into his ear while they sat side by +side on the bed, the throb of jealousy he had first felt at her +words had passed away. Saidie had made it so clear to him that her +joy was not so great at being the mother of a child as that she was +to be the mother of _his_ child, and similarly Hamilton felt in +all his being a curious thrill at the thought that his child was +hers, that this new life was created in and of her life that had +become so infinitely dear to him. + +He was glad now that his wife had refused to have a child. The +bitter pain he had felt then, those years ago, how little he had +thought it was to be the parent of this present joy. Now the woman +he loved as he had loved no other would be the one to bear his +child. Still the thought of the suffering the mother would go +through depressed his sensitive mind, and the idea of the risk to +her life that came suddenly into his brain made him turn white to +the lips as he rode in the hot sunlight. Such intense happiness as +he had known for the last three months can turn a brave man into a +coward. For a moment he faced the horrid thought that had come to +him--Saidie dead! And the whole brilliant plain, laughing sky, and +dancing sunlight and waving palms became black to him. To go back +to that dreary existence of nothingness of his former life, after +once having known the delight that this bright, eager, ardent +love, these delicate little clinging hands had made for him, would +be impossible. + +"No," he murmured to himself, "if she goes, then it's a snuff out +for me too. I have never cared for life except as she has made it +for me." + +And the cloud rolled off him a little as he met the idea of his own +death. Besides, Saidie had declared so positively that she could +come to no harm, that it would all be pure delight, that pain and +suffering could not exist for her in such a matter since she would +be all joy in making him this gift, that gradually he grew calmer +as he thought over her words. + +"But I didn't want any change," he burst out a little later, +talking to the still golden air round him. "Confound it! I was +perfectly happy. How impossible it is to keep anything as it is in +this world! All our actions drag in upon us their consequences so +fast! There is no getting away from this horrible change, no +enjoying one's happiness peacefully when one has obtained it." + +When he arrived at his office in the city he found that a far +heavier cloud had arisen on his horizon than that created by +Saidie's words. The English mail was in, and a long thin envelope, +impressed with a much-hated handwriting, faced him on the top of +the pile of his correspondence as he entered. + +He picked it up and opened it. + + "DEAR FRANK,--You often used to invite me to come to India, + and I have really at last made up my mind to. I am coming out + by next month's boat to stay with you for a time. I have been + very much run down in health lately, and my doctor says a + sea-voyage and six months in India will be first-rate for me. + I hope you have a nice comfortable house and good servants. + --Yours affectionately, JANE." + +Hamilton stared at the letter savagely as he put it down before him +on the table, a sort of grim smile breaking slowly over his face. +He felt convinced that in some way his wife had learned of his +new-found happiness, and that had given birth to her sudden desire +to visit India after twenty years of persistent refusal to do so. +He sat motionless for a long time, then stretched out his hand for +an English telegraph form and wrote on it-- + + "Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit. FRANK." + +He did not for one moment think that his wife would obey his +injunction, or that his wire would have the least effect on her; +but he wished to have a good ground to stand on when she arrived, +and he declined to receive her. His teeth set for a moment as he +thought of the interview. + +"This is a sort of wind-up day of my happiness," he muttered, as he +took his place at the office table. "Well, I suppose no one could +expect such pleasure as I have had these last three months to +continue; but, whatever happens, Saidie and I will stick together." +He sat musing for a moment, staring with unseeing eyes at the pile +of work in front of him. + +"Saidie, my Saidie! I shall never part from her; therefore I can +never part from my happiness." He smiled a little at the play on +the words, and then commenced his day's labours. + +That evening, when he returned, Saidie noticed at once the +depression in his usually gay, bright manner. When they were alone +at dinner she laid her hand on his. + +"What has darkened the light of my lord's countenance?" she asked +softly. + +Hamilton drew from his pocket his wife's letter, and laid it beside +her plate. + +"Can you read that, Saidie? If so, you will know all about it." + +The girl leaned one elbow on the table and bent over the letter, +studying it. She had been trying hard to improve herself in the +language, of which she knew already something, and with Oriental +quickness, had acquired much in the past three months. She made out +the sense now easily enough. + +"This lady is a wife of yours?" she said quickly, with a swift +upward glance at him, when she had finished reading the letter. + +Hamilton laughed a little. + +"She was my wife till I saw you, Saidie. No one is my wife now, nor +ever will be, but you." + +A soft glow of supreme pleasure and pride lighted up Saidie's great +lustrous eyes. She bent her head and put her soft lips to his +hand. + +"Have you forbidden this wife to come to you?" she asked after a +minute. + +"Yes, I have; but she will come all the same. English wives think +it foolish to obey their husbands." + +He laughed sardonically, and Saidie looked bewildered and +horrified. + + * * * * * + +A month later, a long, lean woman sat in a deck chair on board an +Indian liner as it crossed the enchanted waters of the Indian +Ocean. Enchanted, for surely it is some magician's touch that makes +these waters such a rich and glorious blue! How they roll so +gently, full of majestic beauty, crested with sunlight, under the +ships they carry so lightly! How the gold light leaps over them, +how the azure sky above laughs down to their tranquil mirror! how +the gleaming flying-fish rise in their glinting cloud, whirl over +them, and then softly disappear into their mysterious embrace! + +The long, lean woman saw none of the magic round her. Her dull, +boiled-looking eyes gazed through the soft sunlight without seeing +it. In her lap lay a thin foreign letter and a telegram, together +with a copy of "Anna Lombard" that she was reading with the +strongest disapproval. She picked up the letter and glanced through +it again, though she knew it nearly by heart, especially one +passage: + + "Your husband is leading such a life here! He has built a + wonderful white marble palace in the desert for an Egyptian + dancing-girl. They say it's a sort of Antony and Cleopatra + over again, and she goes about loaded with jewels and golden + chains. I don't know if you are getting your allowance + regularly, but I should think your husband is pretty well + ruining himself. I never saw a man so changed. He used to be + so melancholy, but now he is as bright as possible, and looks + so well and handsome. I hear the woman is expecting a child, + and they are both as pleased as they can be. I hear all about + it, as our cook's cousin is sister to the ayah your husband + hired for the woman, and my ayah gets it all from our cook. I + really should, my dear, come out and look into the matter, as + after a time he will probably want to stop sending home his + pay." + +The thin sheet fell into the woman's lap again, and she seemed to +ponder deeply. Then she read Hamilton telegram again-- + +"Regret unable to receive you now. Defer visit," and a disagreeable +laugh broke from her thick, colourless lips. + +"I will go out and see her first," she thought, smoothing down with +a large, bony hand the folds of her rather prim white cambric +dress. She was a very stupid woman, and not a passionate one; +therefore the agony of pain of a loving, jealous wife was quite +unknown to her. But she was malignant, as such people usually are. +She loved making other people uncomfortable in a general way, and +taking away from them anything she could that they valued. She also +felt a peculiar curiosity such as those who cannot feel passion +themselves have usually about the intense happiness it gives to +others. The picture of this other woman, who had found joy +apparently in the arms she herself years ago had thrust aside, +interested her profoundly. She told herself that this Egyptian +loved Hamilton's money, but some instinct within her held her back +from believing this. + +The little bit about the child went deeply into her mind. It +rested there like an arrow-head, and her thoughts grew round it. +When the ship came into port a week or two later, Mrs. Hamilton +was one of the first passengers to land, and after careful +enquiries and well-bestowed tips she was expeditiously conveyed +by ticker-gharry[1] and sedan chair across the desert to the +bungalow at Deira. She was considerably pleased on seeing that +the white marble palace resolved itself into an ordinary white +bungalow, but the garden, was unutterably lovely, and, as she saw +in a moment, represented something quite unusual in cost and +care. + +[Footnote 1: Hired carriage.] + +It was just high noon when she arrived, and she thankfully escaped +from the suffocating heat and glare of the desert into the cool +shaded hall, and gave her card with a throb of spiteful elation to +the butler. + +The Oriental servant read the name, and hurried with the card to +his mistress's room. On hearing of the arrival of the Mem-Sahib, +Saidie descended from the upper room, where she had been lying in +the noonday heat, and, pushing aside the great golden chick that +swung before the drawing-room entrance, went in. + +Her dress was of the most exquisite Indian muslin that Hamilton +could obtain, heavily and wonderfully embroidered in gold, and +peacocks' eyes of vivid deep blue and green; her feet were bare, +for Hamilton, in his revolt from English ways, had kept up Oriental +traditions as far as possible in the clothing of his new mistress, +and weighty anklets of solid gold gleamed beneath the border of her +skirt. Round the perfect column of her neck, full and stately as +the red deer's, were twisted great strings of pearls, throwing +their pale irridescent greenish hue onto the velvet skin. Above the +splendour of her dress rose the regal and lovely face, its delicate +carving and the marvel of its dark, flashing, enquiring eyes +vividly striking in the clear mellow light of the room. + +Mrs. Hamilton, dressed in a plain, grey alpaca dress, rather hot +and dusty after her long drive, sat on one of the low divans +awaiting her. As Saidie entered, the glory of her youth and beauty +struck upon the seated woman like a heavy blow, under which she +started to her feet and stood for a second, involuntarily +shrinking. + +"Salaam, be seated," murmured Saidie, indicating a fauteuil near +the one on which she sank herself. + +Mrs. Hamilton came forward, her hands closing and unclosing +spasmodically in their grey silk gloves, and sat down again, her +eyes riveted on the other's face. + +"Do you know who I am?" she said at last in a stifled voice. + +Saidie smiled faintly; one of those liquid, lingering smiles that +made Hamilton's heaven. + +"Yes, I know; you are Mem Sahib Hamilton, the first, the old +wife.". + +Saidie, according to her own Eastern ideas, was in the position of +a superior receiving an unfortunate inferior. She was the latest +acquired--the darling, the reigning queen--confronted with the poor +cast-off, old, unattractive first wife; and being of a nature +equally noble as the type of her beauty, she felt it incumbent on +her, in such a situation, to treat the unfortunate with every +consideration, gentleness, and tenderness. + +The British matron's views of the relative positions of first and +subsequent wives differs, however, from Saidie's, and Mrs. +Hamilton's face grew purple as she heard Saidie's answer, and some +faint comprehension of Saidie's view was borne in upon her. + +"Where is my husband?" she demanded fiercely. + +"The Sahib is in the city to-day," returned Saidie calmly. How +odious they were, these Englishwomen, with their short skirts and +big boots, and red, hot faces, with great black straw houses over +them, and their curt manners, and the impertinent way they spoke of +their lords! + +"When will he be back?" pursued the other, sharply. + +Saidie glanced towards the clock. + +"In a few hours; perhaps more. He returns at sunset." + +"And what do you do all day, shut up by yourself?" questioned her +visitor, with a sort of contemptuous surprise. + +"I think of him," returned Saidie, quite simply, with a sort of +proud pleasure that made the Englishwoman stare incredulously. + +"Silly little fool!" she ejaculated, with a harsh, disdainful +laugh. + +"Does he give you all those things, and dress you up like that?" +she added, staring at the pearls on Saidie's neck. + +"He has given me everything I have," she replied, seriously. + +That Hamilton was wasting his substance on another went home far +more keenly to his lawful wife than that he was wasting his love on +the same. She got up, and went close to the girl, with a face of +fury. + +"They are all mine! I should like to drag them off you! Do you +understand that an Englishman's money belongs to his wife, and _I_ +am his wife? You! What are you? He belongs to me, and, whatever you +may think, I can take him from you. By our laws he must come back +to me." + +Saidie rose and faced the angry woman unmoved. + +"No law on earth can make a man stay with a woman he does not +love," she said calmly, "nor take him from one he does. You must +know little, or you would know that love is stronger than all law. +I give you leave to withdraw. Salaam." + +And she herself moved slowly backwards towards the hanging chick, +passed through it, and was gone, leaving the Englishwoman alone in +the room. + + * * * * * + +Three hours later Hamilton, sitting in his own private office, +surrounded with papers, started suddenly as he heard a well-known +and hated voice say, outside the door. + +"Thanks, I'll go in myself." + +The next minute the door had opened and his wife stood before him. +He sat in silence, regarding her. + +"Well, Frank, I suppose you were expecting me? You saw the boat +came in, doubtless. You don't look particularly pleased to see me!" + +There was only one chair in the room, and Hamilton remained seated. +His wife stood in front of him. + +"I do not know of any reason why I should be pleased, do you?" he +said calmly, gazing at her with eyes full of concentrated +hostility. + +"No, considering you've got that black woman up at your house, I +don't suppose you do want your wife back very badly; but I've come +to stay, my dear fellow, some time, so you've got to make the best +of it." + +"You will not stay with me," returned Hamilton quietly. His face +was very white, his eyes had become black as they looked at her. +One hand played idly with a paper-knife on his table. + +"And a nice scandal there'll be when I go to stay at the hotel +here, and it's known I'm your wife, and you are living out in the +desert with a woman from the bazaar!" + +"The fear of scandal has long since ceased to regulate my life," +answered Hamilton calmly. "Be good enough to make your interview +short; I have a great deal of work to-day." + +"You are a devil!" replied the woman, white, too, now with impotent +rage, "to desert your own wife for that filthy native woman. I--" + +But Hamilton had sprung to his feet; his face was blazing; he +seized his wife's wrists in both hands. + +"Be quiet," he said, in a low tone of such fury that she cowered +beneath it. "One word more and I shall _kill_ you; do you +understand?" + +Then he raised one hand and brought it down on his gong. Instantly +two stalwart, bronze giants, his chuprassis, entered the room and +stood by the door. + +"Take this woman out, and keep her out," he said to them. "Never +let her in again. She annoys me." + +The chuprassis put their hands to their foreheads, and then +impassively approached the Englishwoman. She looked at her husband +wildly as they took her arms. + +"Frank! you will not surely--" she expostulated. "Your own wife!" +and she struggled to release her arms. + +Hamilton waved his hand, and the natives forced her to the door. +For a moment she seemed inclined to scream and struggle. Then her +face changed. A look of intense malevolence came over it. She +walked between the men quietly to the door. As she passed through +it, she looked back. + +"You and she shall regret this," she said. Then the door shut, and +Hamilton was alone. + +He sat down, collapsed in his chair. Oh, how could he free himself +from this millstone at his neck? What relief could he gain +anywhere? To what power appeal? He could keep her out of his house, +out of his office, but not out of his life. She had come here with +the deliberate intention of wrecking that, and she would succeed +probably, for she would have the blind, hideous force of +conventional morality on her side. She would destroy his life--that +life till lately so valueless to him; that dreary stretch made +barren so many years by her hateful influence, but which, in spite +of it, at Saidie's touch, had now bloomed into a garden of flowers. +The thought of Saidie strengthened him. It was true that his wife +would probably succeed in breaking up his life here from the +conventional and social point of view, and he would be obliged most +likely to give up his appointment; but he had a small independent +income, and on that he and Saidie could still live together. They +would go to Ceylon or to Malabar. Perhaps also he could make money +otherwise than officially. Wherever he went his wife would probably +pursue him, intent on making his life a misery. Still, Fortune +might favour him; he and Saidie might in time reach some corner of +the world where their remorseless tracker would lose trace of them. +Perhaps to go to England at once and obtain a legal separation +would be the best plan, but then it was winter in England now, and +he could not with advantage take Saidie to England in winter, for +fear his exotic Eastern flower would fade in the northern winds. + +His thoughts wandered from point to point, and the minutes passed +unheeded. His papers lay untouched, scattered on the floor. The +chuprassi brought in from time to time a note, laid it on the table +and withdrew. Hamilton noticed nothing; he sat still, thinking. + +Meanwhile Mrs. Hamilton had been driven to the hotel, where she +engaged very modest quarters and ordered luncheon. While waiting +for this she went out into the balcony before her windows, and +looked with gloomy eyes into the sunny, laughing splendour of the +Eastern afternoon. At the side of the hotel was a luxuriant garden, +and the palms and sycamores growing there threw a light shade into +the sunny street just below her window; the sky overhead stretched +its eternal Eastern blue, and the pigeons wheeled joyfully in and +out the eaves in the clear sparkling air, or descended to the pools +in the garden to bathe, with incessant cooing. Up and down the +road passed the white bullocks with their laden carts, and the +gaily-dressed Turkish sweet-meat sellers went by crooning out songs +descriptive of their wares, pausing under the shade of the garden +to look up at the English Mem-Sahib in the balcony. She leant her +arms on the rail, and looked out on the gay scene with unseeing +eyes. "Beast!" she muttered at intervals, and her hard-lined face +crimsoned and paled by turns. + +When her luncheon came in she returned to the room, took off her +hat and looked in the glass. The narrow, selfish, petty emotions of +twenty years were written all over her face in deep, hideous lines. +The mass of yellow hair, newly-dyed, looked glaringly youthful and +incongruous above it. + +Burning with a sense of malevolent discontent and misery, she +turned from the glass and hurried through her luncheon, then +ordered it to be cleared away and writing materials to be brought +in, and set herself with grim feverishness to the concoction of a +long letter to the Commissioner. In it Hamilton's twenty years of +patient fidelity, through which time he had regularly transmitted +to her half his pay year by year were naturally not mentioned; her +own refusal to live with him, her incessant demands for more money, +her extravagance, her long, whining letters to him, her debts, her +own life in town were, of course, also suppressed. In the letter +she figured as the ardent, tender, anxious wife, arriving to find +her abandoned husband wasting his substance on a black mistress. +The visit to the cruel tyrant in his office was long dwelt on, and +the whole closed with a pathetic appeal to the Commissioner to use +his influence to restore her dearest boy to her arms. It was not a +bad letter from the artist's and the liar's standpoint, and she +read it through with a glow of satisfaction, sealed it up with a +baleful smile of triumph, and then sounded the gong. + +"Take this at once to the Commissioner Sahib," she said, handing +the note to the servant, "and let me have some tea; also you can +order me a carriage. I shall want to drive afterwards." + +When the tea came, she thoroughly enjoyed it after her virtuous +labours, and in the cool of the evening drove out to see the city. + + * * * * * + +That evening at dinner, seated at their table, laden with flowers, +with the light from the heavy Burmese silver lamps falling on her +lovely glowing face, and round bangle-laden arms, Saidie told +Hamilton of the visit of the white Mem-Sahib. His face darkened and +his lips set. + +"So she came here, did she? Did she frighten you? attempt to hurt +you?" + +"Oh, no," returned Saidie; "not at all. Naturally she is very hurt, +very sorry; no wonder she longs after the Sahib, and wishes to be +taken back to his harem. I was very sorry for her. It is quite +natural she should be jealous, of course," and Saidie rested one +soft, silken skinned elbow on the table and leaned across the +flowers, and her half-filled wine-glass, looking with tender liquid +eyes earnestly at the face of her lord. + +"The Sahib is so wonderful, so beautiful, so far above other men," +she murmured, gazing upon him. "It is no wonder she is unhappy." + +Hamilton smiled a little, looking back at her. He had indeed a +singularly handsome face, with its straight, noble features and +warm colour, and as he smiled the breast of the Eastern girl +heaved; her heart seemed to rush out to him. + +"Ah, Saidie! you do not understand English wives," he said gently, +with a curious melancholy in his voice. "Love and worship such as +you give me they think shameful and shocking. To love a man for +himself, for his face, for his body is degrading. They are so pure, +they love him only for his purse. They tell him to take his passion +to dancing-girls like you. They hate to bear him children. They +like to live in his house, be clothed at his expense, ride in his +carriage, but they care little to sleep in his arms." + +Saidie regarded him steadfastly, with eyes ever growing wider as +she listened. + +"I do not understand ..." she murmured at last, clasping both soft, +supple hands across her breast, as if trying to mould herself into +this new belief; "it is so hard to comprehend.... Surely it must +be right to love one's lord, to bear him sons, to please him, to +make him happy every hour, every minute of the day and night." + +"Right?" returned Hamilton passionately, getting up from his seat +and coming over to her. "Of course it is right! love such as yours +is a divine gift to man, straight from the hands of God." He leaned +his burning hands heavily on the delicately-moulded shoulders, +looking down into her upturned face. How exquisite it was! its fine +straight nose, its marvellously-carved mouth and short upper lip, +its round, full chin, and midnight eyes beneath their great +arching, sweeping brows! + +"That woman is a fiend, one of the unnatural creatures our wretched +European civilisation has made only to destroy the lives of men. +Don't let us speak of her! never let us think of her! She is +nothing to me. You are my world, my all. If she drives us away from +here, there are other parts of the world for us. Separate us she +never shall. Come! why should we waste our time even mentioning her +name. Come with me into our garden. Darling! darling!" + +He stooped over her, and on her lips pressed those kisses so long +refused, uncared for by one woman, so priceless to this one, and +almost lifted Saidie from the chair. She laughed the sweet low +laughter of the Oriental woman, and went with him eagerly towards +the verandah, and out into the compound where the roses slept in +the warm silver light. + + * * * * * + +For two days nothing happened. Hamilton went as usual to his office +for the day. At four he left, and, mounting his camel, went into +the desert to the oasis in the palms. + +On the third day he received a summons from the Commissioner, and +went up to his house in the afternoon. His heart seethed with rage +within him, but except for an unusual pallor in the clear warm +skin, his face showed nothing as he entered the large, imposing +drawing-room. + +The Commissioner was a short, pompous little man, rather +overshadowed by his grim raw-boned wife, and had under her strict +guidance and training developed a stern admiration for conventional +virtue, particularly in regard to conjugal relations. He rose and +bowed as Hamilton entered, but did not offer to shake hands. +Hamilton waited, erect, silent. + +"Sit down, Mr. Hamilton." Hamilton sat down. "Er--I--ah--have +received what I may term a painful--yes, a very painful +communication, and er--I may say at once it refers to you and your +concerns in a most distressing manner--most distressing." + +The Commissioner coughed and waited. Hamilton remained silent. The +Commissioner fidgeted, crossed his knees, uncrossed them again, +then turned on him suddenly. The Indian climate is trying to the +temper; it means many pegs, and small control of the passions. + +"Damn you, sir!" he broke out fiercely. "What the devil do you mean +by keeping a black woman in your house, and sending your wife to +the hotel here?" + +He was purple and furious; in his hand he crushed Mrs. Hamilton's +beautiful composition. + +"She tells me you called in natives to throw her out of your +office: it's disgraceful! Upon my word it is; it's scandalous! And +you sent her to the hotel! I never heard of such a thing!" + +"Mrs. Hamilton came out uninvited, in defiance of my express +wishes, and on her arrival I told her she could not stay with me," +returned Hamilton quietly. "Whether she went to the hotel or not, I +don't know." + +"But your wife, damn it all, your wife, has a right to stay with +you if she chooses; naturally she would come to you, and you can't +turn her out in this way." + +"She has long ago forfeited all rights as my wife," replied +Hamilton calmly, in a low tone, with so much weight in it that the +Commissioner looked at him keenly. + +"Why don't you get a divorce or a separation then?" he asked +abruptly. "Do the thing decently--not have her out like this, and +make a scandal all over the station." + +"I know of no grounds for a divorce," returned Hamilton. "There are +many ways of breaking the marriage vows other than infidelity. I +married Mrs. Hamilton twenty years ago, and for those twenty years +she has practically refused to live with me. For twenty years I +have remitted half my income to her every year. During that time I +have many times asked her to join me here, sought a reconciliation +always to be refused. Recently I found another interest; the moment +my wife discovered this, she came out with the sole purpose of +annoying me. I have come to the conclusion that twenty years' +fidelity to a woman without reward is enough. I shall not alter my +life now to suit Mrs. Hamilton." + +The Commissioner was silent. He was quite sure Hamilton was +speaking the truth, and in reality, in the absence of Mrs. +Commissioner, he felt all his sympathies go with him. But his +wife's careful training and his official position put other words +than his mind dictated into his mouth. + +"Well, well," he said at last, "we can't go into all that. You and +your wife must arrange your matters somehow between you. But there +can't be a scandal like this going on. You, a married man, living +with a native woman, and your wife out here at the hotel! Something +must be done to make things look all right--must be done," and he +knitted his brows, looking crossly at Hamilton from under them. + +Hamilton shrugged his shoulders. + +"You'd better give up this native woman," snapped the +Commissioner. + +Hamilton smiled. His was such an expressive face, it told more +clearly the feelings than most impassive English faces, and there +was that in the smile that held the Commissioner's gaze; and the +two men sat staring at each other in silence. + +After some moments the Commissioner spoke again but his tone was +different. + +"Hamilton, you know we all have to make sacrifices to our official +position, to public opinion, to social usage. Ah! what a Moloch +that is that we've created, it devours our best. Yes ... a Moloch!" +he muttered half to himself, gazing on the floor. + +"Still, it's there, and we all suffer equally in turn. I know what +it is myself. I have been through it all." He stopped, gazing +fixedly at the beautiful crimson roses in the pattern of his Wilton +carpet. What visions swept before him of gleaming eyes and sweeping +brows, ruthlessly blotted out by a large, raw-boned figure and face +of aggressive chastity. "I am sorry for you, but there it is; +whatever the rights of the case, you can't make a scandal like +this." + +"I am ready to resign my post if necessary," returned Hamilton; "I +have enough to live on without my pay." + +The Commissioner started, and looked at him. + +"Is she so handsome as that?" he asked in a low tone, leaning a +little forward. Mrs. Commissioner was not there, and he was +forgetting officialdom. + +Hamilton hesitated a moment. Then he drew from his pocket a +photograph, taken by himself, of Saidie standing amongst her +flowers. + +The beautiful Eastern face, the lovely, youthful, sinuous figure, +veiled in its slight, transparent drapery, taken by an artist and a +lover in the clear, actinic Indian light, made an exquisite work of +art. It lay in the hand of the Commissioner, and he gazed on it, +remembering his long-past youth. + +After a long time Hamilton broke the silence. + +"Now, you know," he said at last, "why I am ready to resign my post +rather than resign _that_; and it is not only her beauty that +charms me, it is her devotion, her love.... Do you know, white or +black, superior or inferior, these two women are not to be +mentioned in one breath. The one you see there is a woman, the +other is a fiend." + +The Commissioner tried to look shocked, but failed; the smooth card +still lay in his hand, the lovely image impressed on it smiled up +at him. + +"I don't know but what you are right," he muttered savagely as he +handed it back to Hamilton. "These wives, damn 'em, seem to have no +other mission but to make a man uncomfortable." + +He got up and began to pace the room. He seemed to have forgotten +Hamilton and the official _role_ he himself had started to play. He +seemed absorbed in his own thoughts--perhaps memories. Hamilton sat +still, gazing at the card. + +Half-an-hour later the interview came to an end. Hamilton went away +to his office with a light heart, and a smile on his lips. The +Commissioner had given him some of his own reminiscences, and +Hamilton had sympathised. The two men had drifted insensibly onto +common ground, and the Commissioner finally had promised to help +Hamilton as far as he could. Hamilton was pleased. That he had +merely been twisting a piece of straw, that would be bent into +quite another shape when Mrs. Commissioner took it in hand, did not +for the moment occur to him. That night Saidie danced for him in +the moonlight, and afterwards ran from him swiftly, playing at +hide-and-seek amongst the roses laughing, inviting his pursuit. In +and out behind the great clumps of boughain-villia gleamed the +lovely form, with hair unbound falling like a mantle to the waist. +Through the pomegranate bushes the laughing face looked out at him, +then swiftly vanished as he approached, and next a laugh and a +flash of warm skin drew him to the bed of lilies where he overtook +her, and they fell laughing on the mossy bank together. Wearied +with dancing and running and laughter, she sank into his arms +gladly, as Eve in the garden of Eden. + +"Let us sleep here," she murmured, looking up to the palm branches +over them defined against the lustrous sky. + +"See how the lilies sleep round us!" + +And that night they slept out in the moonlight. + + + + +CHAPTER IV + + +A month had gone by, and during that month, except for the time he +was with Saidie in the bungalow, Hamilton, had he been less of a +philosopher, would have been extremely uncomfortable. + +The Commissioner's wife had completely and entirely espoused the +cause of Mrs. Hamilton, and had insisted on her leaving the hotel +and coming to stay with her. Everywhere that the Commissioner's +wife went, riding or driving, Mrs. Hamilton accompanied her; and +whenever he met the two women, his wife threw him a mild, +reproachful glance of martyred virtue, while the Commissioner's +wife glared upon him in stony wrath. + +Hamilton took no notice of either glance, but passed them as if +neither existed. The Commissioner looked miserably guilty whenever +he encountered Hamilton's amused, penetrating eyes, and avoided +him as much as possible. The Commissioner's house was completely +shut to him; he never approached it now except on official +business, and nearly every house in the station followed its +example. The story of Mrs. Hamilton's woes and wrongs had spread +all over the community, and proved a theme of delightful and +never-ending interest to all the ladies of the station. They were +unanimous in supporting her. Not one voice was raised in favour of +Hamilton. He was a monster, a heartless libertine, given over to +all sorts of terrible vices. Tales of the fearful doings in the +desert bungalow, where Hamilton and Saidie lived the gay, bright, +joyous life of two human beings, happily mated, as Nature intended +all things to be, spread over the station, and the stony stare of +the women upon Hamilton, when they met him, mingled insensibly with +a shrinking horror that greatly amused him. + +Nobody spoke to him except in his business capacity. Every one +avoided him. He was practically ostracised. Mrs. Hamilton, on the +other hand, went everywhere, and thoroughly enjoyed herself in the +_role_ of gentle forgiving martyr that she played to perfection. +Being plain and unattractive to men, she was thoroughly popular +with the women, and they were never tired of condoling with her on +having such a brute of a husband. What more natural, poor dear! +than that she should refuse to live with him in India, if the +climate did not suit her? So unreasonable of him to expect it! The +question of a family, too! why, what woman was there now who did +not hate to have her figure spoiled, and object to be always in the +sick-room and nursery? So natural that she did not wish those +disagreeable passionate relationships: a man could not expect that +sort of thing from his wife! And then the money, too! she had never +had more than half his income all these twenty years! It seemed to +them that she had been wonderfully good and resigned. + +Such was the talk at the afternoon teas, and the married men at the +club, coached by their wives, and being in the position of the fox +who had lost his brush, and wished no other fox to retain his, +condemned Hamilton quite as freely. + +"It was beastly rough on his wife," they agreed, "to set up a +black dancing-girl under her eyes." + +Hamilton cared not at all for the social life of the station, and +was greatly relieved by not having invitations to give or to +answer. All that he regretted was the ultimate resignation of his +post, which, he foresaw, would be the result of all this scandal +sooner or later. + +Saidie, with Oriental quickness, had soon grasped the whole +situation, and had flung herself at his feet in a passion of tears, +begging him to send her away or to kill her rather than let her +presence make him unhappy. Hamilton had some difficulty in turning +her mind from the resolve to kill herself by way of serving him; +and it was only his solemn oath to her that she was the one single +joy and happiness of his life, that with her in his arms he cared +about nothing else, that if he lost her his life was at an end, +which pacified and at last convinced her. + +Another month went by, and Mrs. Hamilton began to tire of her +position. She felt she was not making Hamilton half unhappy enough. +She had had but one idea, and that was to separate him from Saidie, +and in this she had failed. He had not even been turned out of his +post. He had been expelled from the social life of the station; but +she knew he would not feel that, that he would only welcome the +greater leisure he had to spend in his Eden with _her_. To play the +martyr for a time had been interesting, but its pleasure was +beginning to wane; moreover, she could not stay permanently with +the Commissioner's wife. She grew restless: she must carry out her +plan somehow. When Hamilton's life was completely wrecked, she +would be ready to return to England--not till then; and she lay +awake at nights grinding her long, narrow, wolf-like teeth together +as she thought of Hamilton in the desert bungalow. + +One morning, after a nearly sleepless night, she got up and looked +critically at her face in the glass. Old and haggard as usual it +looked; but to-day, in addition to age and care, a specially evil +determination sat upon it. + +"Life is practically done with," she thought, looking at it. "I +have only this one thing to care about now, and I'll do it somehow +before I go. If I can't enjoy my life, he shan't enjoy his." + +She turned from the glass, and commenced dressing. The evil look +deepened on her face from minute to minute, and the word "Beast!" +came at intervals through her teeth. + +Outside the window of her charming room all was waking in the +joyous dawn of the East. Long shadows lay across the velvet green +slopes of the Commissioner's lawn as the sun rose behind the +majestic palms that shaded it; floods of golden light were rippling +softly over roses and stephanotis, opening bud after bud to the +azure above them; the gay call of the birds rang through the clear +morning air; the perroquets swung in ecstasy on the bamboo +branches, crying out shrill comments on each other's toilet. The +scent of a thousand blossoms rose up like some magic influence, +stealing through the sparkling sunlight into the room, and played +round the thin face of the woman within, but it could make no +message clear to her. Every sense of hers had long been sealed to +all joy by hate. + +At breakfast she announced her intention of leaving India by the +following mail, and not all the kind pressure brought to bear upon +her by the Commissioner's wife could induce her to postpone her +departure. She was gentle, calm, and resigned in manner, as usual, +excessively grateful for all they had done for her, and the +kindness shown her. She spoke very sweetly of her husband, told +them how she had hoped by coming out to induce him to leave the +evil life he was leading; but she saw now that these things lay in +higher hands than hers, and she felt all she could do was to pray +and hope for him in silence. + +"Why don't you divorce him?" broke in the Commissioner abruptly and +quickly, anxious to get it out before his wife could stop him. He +tugged violently at his moustache, waiting for her answer. If she +would do that, he was thinking, what a relief for that poor devil +Hamilton! + +"Divorce him?" returned Mrs. Hamilton resignedly. "Never! It is a +wife's duty to submit to whatever cross Providence lays upon her, +but divorce seems to me only the resource of abandoned women." + +The Commissioner's wife nodded her head in majestic approval. The +Commissioner got up abruptly, breakfast being concluded. He said +nothing, but his mental ejaculation was, "Old hag! knows she +couldn't get any one else, nor half such a handsome allowance!" + +The day for Mrs. Hamilton's departure came, and on its morning +Hamilton found a note from her on his office desk. He took it up +and opened it with a feeling of repulsion. + + "DEAR FRANK,--I am leaving by the noon boat for England. They + seem to have altered their time of sailing to twelve instead + of seven P.M. + + "I am sorry my visit here has caused you trouble. Do not be + too hard on me. I am leaving now, and do not intend to worry + you again. You must lead your own life until, perhaps, some + day you wish to return to me. You will find me ready to + welcome you. Good-bye, and forgive any pain I have caused + you.--Your affectionate wife, + JANE." + +Hamilton read this note with amazement, and a sense of its falsity +swept over him, as if a wind had risen from the paper and struck +his face. But as men too often do, he tried to thrust away his +first true instincts, and replace their warning with a lumbering +reason. He sat deep in thought, gazing at the table before him. If +it were true, if she were really going, if she really meant +good-bye, what a relief! But it was impossible, unless, indeed, she +had accomplished her plan, and had heard that he had been, or was +about to be dismissed from his post. + +This seemed to throw a light upon the matter, and with the idea of +finding confirmation of this in some of the other letters awaiting +him, he started to go through them. It was a heavy post-bag, and +gave him much to attend to. He went through the letters, but found +nothing relative to himself in them, and settled down to his work. +Twelve, one, and two passed, and he looked up at the clock, +wondering if she were really gone. He seemed to have no inclination +for lunch, so he worked on without leaving the office, and only +rose to clear his desk when it was time to leave for the day. +To-morrow he would learn definitely what passengers the out-going +boat had carried. He would not stay this evening to find out. He +felt ill, listless; he only wanted to be back with Saidie in the +restful shade of the palms. + +As he rode across the desert that evening an indefinable depression +hung over him. Never since he had found Saidie had that melancholy, +once so natural, come back to him. Her spirit, whether she were +absent or present, seemed always with him--a gay, bright, beautiful +vision ever before his eyes, giving him the feeling that he was +looking always into sunlight. But to-night there seemed emptiness, +gloom about him. + +"It's the weather," he muttered, and looked upward to the curious +sky. It was gold, gleaming gold; but close to the horizon lay two +bright purple bars, like lines of writing in the West: the prophecy +of a storm, and the heat seemed to hang in the air that not a +faintest breath moved. + +Swiftly and evenly the great camel bore him, its well-beloved +master, over the rippling sand towards the palms in the golden +west, but the approaching night travelled faster than they, and it +was quite dark, with a sullen heavy darkness, before they reached +the bungalow. It seemed very quiet, with an indefinable sense of +stillness in the garden and wide hall. Neither Saidie nor any +servant came to meet him, and it was quite dark: no lamp had been +lighted. With a sudden throb of terror in his heart, Hamilton +paused and called "Saidie." + +There was no response, no sound. Striking a match, Hamilton +deliberately lit a lamp. Some great evil was upon him, and with a +curious calmness he went forward to meet it. He went upstairs and +pushed open the door of their bedroom, shielding the light with his +hand and seeking first with his eyes the bed. Saidie lay there: the +exquisite form, in its transparent purple gauze, lay composed upon +the bed, a little to one side. The glorious hair, unbound, rippled +in a dark river to the floor; the head rested sideways as in sleep, +upon the pillow. In silence Hamilton approached; near the bed his +foot slid suddenly; he looked down; there was a tiny lake of +scarlet blood, blackening at its edges, blood on the wooden +bedstead side, blood on the purple muslin over the perfect breasts. +Hamilton, his body growing rigid, put out his hand to her forehead; +it was cold. He set down the lamp and turned her face towards it, +putting his arm under her head. Her lips were stone colour, the +lids were closed over the eyes; the face was the face of death. + +In those moments Hamilton realized that his own life was over. +Saidie was dead--murdered. The world then was simply no more for +him. All was finished: he himself was a dead man. Only one thing +remained, one duty for him. To avenge her! Then utter rest and +blackness. He looked round thinking. The room was quite empty, +undisturbed. The great pearls on Saidie's neck were untouched. They +gleamed gently in the pale light from his lamp. No robber, no +outsider had been here. Then, in the darkened room, leapt up before +him the truth: a white, blonde face seemed looking at him from the +walls--the thick pale lips, the half-closed sinister eyes, the lean +long figure of his wife rose before him. + +"But she was to leave by the morning's boat," he muttered. Then +... a thought struck him. He withdrew his arm gently from the +passive head, lighted another lamp, putting it on a bracket in the +wall, and left the room, descending to the vacant hall. He went to +the verandah and called to his servants. They came, a trembling +crowd, with upraised hands, and fell flat before him, weeping and +striking their heads on the ground. + +"It is not our fault, Light of Heaven, Father of the Poor, the +Mem-Sahib came--the white Mem-Sahib. We are poor men; we have no +fault at all." + +Hamilton listened for a moment to the storm of words and protesting +cries. Then he raised his hand and there was silence, but for a +sound of rising wind without and the sobbing of the natives. + +"Pir Bakhs," he said to the head of them all, the butler, "tell me +all you know. Your mistress is dead. Who is responsible?" + +The butler came forward and fell at his master's feet with clasped +hands. + +"Lord of the Earth, I know nothing but this. At five all was quiet +in the house, and our mistress sat in the garden singing. Then +came to the door two runners with a palanquin. They asked to see +our mistress. I said wait. I went to the garden. I said the white +Mem-Sahib has come in a palanquin. My mistress said, 'I will see +her.' She went to the drawing-room, and the white Mem-Sahib came +in, and they drank tea together. Your servant is a poor man, and he +saw no more till the runners went away with the palanquin. So we +said, 'The white Mem-Sahib has gone,' and my mistress said to me +she felt drowsy and must sleep, and went upstairs to the Light of +Heaven's room and shut the door. And your servant was laying the +table in your honour's dining-room a little later, and he went to +close the jillmills,[1] for the wind was rising, and your servant +saw through the jillmill the white Mem-Sahib again getting into her +palanquin that had appeared once more at the back, and the runners +ran with it very fast into the desert; then your servant ran out to +ask the other servants why the white Mem-Sahib had come back, and +the ayah met him at the door and said she had found our mistress +killed in her room; and your honour's servant is a poor man, and +has wept ever since." + +[Footnote 1: Wooden shutters.] + +Hamilton listened in perfect silence. The man's face was lined with +grief, the tears rolled in streams down his livid cheeks. A wail +went up from the other servants at his words. Hamilton and his +mistress were their idols, and his grief was very real to +themselves. + +Hamilton stretched out his hand to the trembling man with a benign +gesture. + +"Pir Bakhs, I believe you. You have served me many years, and never +lied to me. This is another's work, not yours. Be at peace. You +have no fault." + +The butler wept louder, and the others wailed with him, calling +upon Heaven to bless their master and avenge their mistress. + +Hamilton turned from them to the dark dining-room, which he crossed +to the hall; through this he walked in the darkness as a blind man +walks, to the entrance. + +He tore the wood-work door open, wrenching it from its hinges, and +looked out into the night. A dust-storm was raging in the desert +beyond the compound, and its stinging blasts of wind, laden with +sand, drove heavily over the exquisite masses of bloom, the +glorious and delicate scented blossoms of the garden. It tore off +the flowers remorselessly, and even for the moment he stood there, +a rain of thin, white, shredded petals was flung into his face. The +branches of the trees groaned and whined in the thick darkness, the +swish of broken and bent bamboo came from all sides, the roar of +the dust driven through the foliage filled his ears. The garden, +the beautiful, sheltered garden, scene of their delights, was being +ruthlessly destroyed, even as his life had been; it was expiring in +agony, even as he would shortly expire: to-morrow it would be +desolate, a shattered wreck under the dust, even as he, in a little +while--But something should be done first. + +Leaving the doorway open, letting the dust-laden wind tear +shrieking through the silent house, he plunged into the roaring +darkness. He took the centre path that led straight to the compound +gate. The unhappy bushes and tortured branches of the trees, bent +and twisted by the onrushing wind, lashed his face and body as he +went down the path. He did not feel their stinging blows. On, on to +the desert he went blindly but steadily in the thick darkness. + +When he got beyond the compound gate, out of the shelter of the +garden, the weight of the wind almost bore him down; but as he +faced its blast, his eyes saw, not so very far, out on the plain, +dull in the whirling mist, the dancing uncertain light of a carried +lantern. As the tiger darts forward on its prey, as the snake +springs to the attack, Hamilton leapt forward into the wall of wind +that faced him and ran at the dancing light. + +Choked with sand, blinded, suffocated and breathless, but full of +power to kill, he was on it at last, and flung himself with sinewy +hands on the swaying, covered sedan chair, between the two bearers, +who, bewildered and helpless in the sudden storm, were groping +slowly across the plain. With a shriek they dropped the handles, as +Hamilton flung himself suddenly on the chair; the lantern fell into +the sand and went out. The natives, thinking the devil, the actual +spirit of the storm, had overtaken them, fled howling into the +blackness, their cries swallowed up like whispers in the roar of +the wind. As the chair struck the sand, the woman within thrust her +head with a cry through the open side. Hamilton seized it by the +neck. Out! out of the sedan chair, through the burst-open door, he +pulled the wretched creature by her head, and then flung her with +all his force upon the sand. + +The raging wind swept past them in sheets of dust, bellowing as it +went. He knelt on her body; his hands ground into her neck. Through +the darkness he saw beneath him the thin, white oval of the face, +with its eyes bulging, starting out of the head, its lips writhing +in agony; two white hands beat helplessly in the black air beside +him. He looked hard into her eyes, bending down to her close, very +near, as his hands sank deeper into her neck, his fingers locked +more tightly round it. In a few seconds the light of the eyes went +out, the hands ceased to beat the air. Saidie was avenged. With a +laugh that rang out into the noise of the storm, the man got up +from the limp body and stood by it, in the echoing darkness. Then +he kicked it, so that it rolled over, and the sand came up in +waves eager to bury it. + +In an hour woman, sedan chair, lantern would all be beneath a level +plain of sand. + +He turned back towards the bungalow. "Saidie," he murmured, and the +storm-wind seemed to rave "Saidie!" "Saidie!" round him, to whirl +the name upwards to the dim stars, glimmering one here and there, +far off and veiled in the heavens. He went back; the wind helped +him. On its wings he seemed borne back to his house, through the +tortured garden, through the gaping doorway, over the shattered +door he passed, and then up the stairs to their room. + +After the inferno of the desert the inside of the house seemed +quiet, and in their room the lamps burned steadily, but low. Their +oil was used up, their life, like his, was nearly done. The bed +stood there and on its calm white stillness lay Saidie, waiting for +him, for him alone, as always. + +He went up to her and stood there. + +"Saidie?" but she did not answer. He lay down beside her gently, so +as not to break her slumber, and then drew her to his breast. Ah +his treasure! his world! Surely now all was well since she was +safe in his arms! He did not feel the deathly coldness. There was a +whizzing in his brain where Nature had laid her finger on a vein, +and broken it that he might be released from sorrow and die. + +"Saidie?" he murmured again as her breast pressed his, and put his +lips to hers. + +As his life had first dawned in her kiss, so it went back now to +the lips that had given it, and in that kiss he died. + + + + +II + + +There was complete silence in the large room, filled with long, +wavering shadows that the flickering firelight chased over the +walls and amongst the gilt-edged tables. + +Beyond the windows the dusk was gathering quickly in the wind-swept +street, beneath the leaden sky. From the pane nearest the fire a +side-light fell across a man's figure leaning against the corner of +the mantel-shelf. A ruddy glow from the hearth struck upon the silk +skirt of a girl leaning back in the easy-chair beneath the other +corner. + +Her face is lost in the shadow. + +He is a good-looking fellow, very. The high white collar that shows +up in the dusk is fastened round a long, well-set neck; the figure +in the blue serge suit is straight and pleasing, and the shoulders +erect and slim. + +The girl's eyes, looking out of the shadow, take in these points, +and the pleasure they give her seems inextricably confused with +dull pain. Her gaze passes on to his face, and rests eagerly, +almost thirstily, upon it. + +There is light enough still to show her its well-cut oval, spoiled +now by the haggard falling in of the cheeks, the lines in the +forehead, and the swellings beneath the eyes. + +He shifts his position a little and glances through the window. His +eyes are full of irritation, and the girl knows it, though they are +turned from her. She gives a suppressed, inaudible sigh; his +attitude now brings out the impatient discontent on his mouth and +the rigid determination of the chin. + +"I suppose you mean two people can live upon nothing?" His voice is +cold, even hostile, and he speaks apparently to the panes, but the +tones are well-bred and pleasing; and again the girl wonders dimly +which is the predominating sensation in her--pleasure or pain. + +"No," she says, in rather a suffocated voice. "But I say, if either +person has enough, or the two together, it does not matter which +has it, or which has the most." + +Silence, which her hesitating, timid voice breaks at last. + +"Does it?" + +"Yes, I think it does," he answered shortly. "The man must have +enough to support both, or he has no right to marry at all." + +The girl's hands lock themselves together convulsively, unseen +behind her slight waist, laced so skilfully into the fashionable +bodice. + +There is a hard decision in the incisive tones that does not belong +to the mere expression of a general theory--a cold authority and a +weight of personal conviction that turns the words into a statement +of rigid principle. + +The girl feels almost dizzy, and she closes her hot eyelids +suddenly to shut out the line of that hard, obstinate chin. + +"People's ideas on what is enough to support both vary so much," +she says quietly, with well-bred indifference in her tone, while +her heart beats wildly as she waits for his next remark. + +"Well, what would you consider enough yourself?" he says coldly, +after a slight pause, turning a little more towards her. + +The red light glows steadily on her skirts, and he can see the +graceful outline of her knees under them, and one small foot upon +the hearthrug; the rest of the form is veiled in the shadow, except +one rounded line of a shoulder and the glint of light hair above. + +He looks down at her, and there seems a sudden, nervous expansion +in his frame; outwardly there is not the faintest impatient +movement. He waits quietly for her reply. + +The girl hesitates as she looks at him. To her, in her absorbing +love for the man before her, the question is an absurd mockery. + +To reduce to a certain number of pounds this "enough," when for her +anything or nothing would be enough! + +"I would rather starve to death in your arms than live another day +without you," is the current running under all her thoughts, and it +confuses them and makes it difficult for her to speak. + +What shall she answer? To name a sum too small in his eyes will +be as great an error as to name one too large. He would only +think her a silly, sentimental girl, who knows nothing of what +she is talking about, and who has no knowledge and appreciation +of the responsibilities of life. + +Besides, to name a very small income will be to conjure up before +his eyes the picture of a mean, pitiful, sordid existence, from +which she feels, with painful distinctness, he would turn with +disgust. + +Poor? Yes, he has told her that he is poor, and she believes it; +but somehow--by contracting debt, probably--she thinks, as her +keen, observant eyes sweep over him, he manages at present to live +and dress as a gentleman. + +Those well-cut suits, those patent shoes and expensive cigarettes; +these things, she feels instinctively, must be preserved for him, +or any form of life would lose its charm. + +At the same time, she must mention something that is not hopelessly +beyond him. She recalls her own two hundred; surely, at the least, +he must be making one. + +"I can hardly say," she murmured at last, "because personally I +think one can live on so very little; but I suppose most people +would say--well, about three hundred pounds a year." + +"Oh! three hundred a year," he says, stretching out his hand for +the tea-cup on a low table beside him. The tea has grown cold in +the discussion of abstract questions. He takes the cup and sits +down deliberately in the corner of the couch opposite her, and +stirs the tea slowly. + +"How much is that a week? Five pounds fifteen, isn't it? Well, now, +go on, see what you can make of it. Your house--the smallest--and +servants--" + +"House and servants!" interrupts the girl, "but why have a house +and servants at all?" + +"I don't know," he rejoins curtly, "because the girl generally +expects those things when she marries." + +"Not all girls," she says, and one seems to hear the smile with +which she says it in her voice. + +"You mean rooms?" he says quickly, with a gleam of pleasure +breaking for a moment across his face. + +"Well--say rooms--you would want three--thirty shillings, I +suppose, at the least, and then another thirty for board. That +leaves two fifteen for everything else." + +"Surely that's a good deal." + +"Oh, I don't know; think of one's clothes," and Stephen stares +moodily into the fire, with a pricking recollection of a tailor's +bill for twenty odd in his drawer at home now. + +Then, to remove the impression of selfish extravagance he feels he +may have given, he adds: + +"And a man wants to give his wife some amusement, and three hundred +a year leaves nothing for that." + +"Amusement!" the girl repeats, starting up and standing upright, +with one elbow just touching the mantelpiece, and the firelight +flooding her figure from the slim waist downwards. "What amusement +does a woman want if she is in love with the man she is living +with? The man himself is her amusement! To watch him when he is +occupied, to wait for him when he is away, to nurse him when he is +ill--that is her amusement: she does not want any other!" + +Stephen stares at the flexible form, and listens to the words that +he would admire, only the cynical suspicion is in his mind that she +is talking for effect. His general habit was to consider all women +mercenary and untrustworthy. Deep in his heart--for he had a heart, +though contracted from want of use--lay a hungry desire to be +loved, really loved for himself; and the very keenness of the +longing, and the anxiety not to be deceived, lessened his powers of +penetration, and blinded him to the girl's character. + +He laughs slightly. "You are taking a theatrical view of the whole +thing!" + +"How do you mean?" + +"Oh, well, that the wife really loves her husband and sticks to him +through everything, and they pass through unheard-of difficulties +together, and so on"; but he adds, with a faint yawn: "I've always +noticed that when the money goes the love disappears too. There's +no love where there's abject poverty." + +"But three hundred a year is not abject poverty," answers the girl +in a quiet tone, not denying his theory for fear of being called +again theatrical. + +"No," he admits. "Oh, it might do very well as long as there were +only two; but then, when there are children, it means a nurse, and +all sorts of expenses." + +He says the words with a simplicity and directness that makes the +girl almost catch her breath. For these two were not on intimate +terms with each other, not even terms of intimate speaking. + +Nothing had passed between them yet but the merest society phrases, +and before a certain quiet dinner one month back neither knew of +the other's existence. Since then some chance meetings on the +beach, the parade, the pier, a few long afternoon rows, between +then and now: these are the only nourishment the flame in either +breast has received--a flame kindled in a few long glances across +the dinner-table. + +But this afternoon he has laid aside the customary phrases and +deliberately commenced the present conversation. + +True, it is purely an abstract one--all theory and hypotheses. No +one could say otherwise if it were repeated. Not a personal word +has been uttered on either side; but the girl feels in the +determined tone of his voice, in the studied way he started it, in +the cold precision with which he follows it, that it is practically +a test conversation of herself, and that she is virtually passing +through an examination. + +He has come this afternoon with a set of certain questions that he +means to put, to all of which her answers are received without +comment, and mentally noted down. + +He neither repeats himself, nor presses a point, nor leaves out +anything on his mental list, nor allows any remark to lead away +from it. + +He has also certain things he means to say, which he will say, as +he asks his questions, deliberately, one after the other; and then, +when he has heard and said all he intends, he will terminate the +conversation as decisively as he began it and go. The girl feels +all this, for her brain is as clear and keen as the glance of her +eyes. + +She knows that he is testing her: that she stands upon trial before +him. + +She has nothing to hide: only, that too great love and devotion, +that seems to swell and swell irrepressibly within her, and would +pour itself out in words to him, but that his tone, his manner, +his look keep it back absolutely, as a firm hand holds down the +rising cork upon the exuberant wine. And now, at this sentence +of his, her words fail her. They are strangers practically, that +is conventionally--quite strangers, she remembers confusedly--but +for this secret bond of passion, knit up between them, which both +can feel but both ignore. + +The natural male in him, and the natural female in her, are +already, as it were, familiar, but the fashionable man and girl are +strangers still. + +Then, now, how is she to say what she wishes to him? How can she +talk with this mere acquaintance upon this subject? The very word +"children" seems to scorch her lips. At the same time, familiarity +with him seems natural and unnatural; terrible, and yet simple. + +Then, too, what are his views? + +Will her next words shock him inexpressibly? + +In her passionate, excitable brain, inflamed with love for the man, +the idea of maternity can merely present itself like an unwelcome, +grey-clad Quaker at a banquet. + +She hesitates, choosing her words. She knows so little of the man +in front of her. His clothes, she sees, are of the newest cut, but +his notions may not be. + +At last her soft, weak, timid voice breaks the pause. + +"Do you think it necessary to have very large families?" + +"No, I don't," he answers instantly with the energy and alacrity of +one who is glad to express his opinion. "No, I don't, not at all." + +The girl's suspended breath is drawn again. Unlike himself in his +queries she presses her point home. + +"Don't you think those marriages are the happiest where there are +no children?" + +"Yes," he says decidedly, getting up and thrusting his hands into +his coat pockets. "Yes, I do--much the happiest." + +There is silence. It is too dark for either to see the other's +expression. He stands irresolutely for a minute or two, and then +says with a disagreeable laugh: + +"I should hate my own children! Fancy coming home and finding a lot +of children crying and screaming in the place." + +To this the girl says nothing, and Stephen, after a minute's +reflection, softens his words. + +"Besides, your wife's love, when she has children, is all given to +them." + +"Yes," murmurs her well-bred voice. "Oh, yes, one is happier +without them." + +Neither speak. They are agreed so far; there is a deep relief and +pleasure in the breast of each. + +"Well," he says at last, rousing himself, "I must go. I shall be +late for dinner." + +The girl leans down and stirs the fire into a leaping, yellow +blaze. It fills the room with light, and reveals them fully now to +each other. + +She makes no effort to detain him, and they look at each other, +about to part. + +The self-control of each is marvellous, and admirable for its mere +thoroughness and completeness. + +He has large eyes, and they stare down at her haggardly, as he +stands facing her in the light. The hungry, hopeless look in those +eyes and the drawn lines in his face go to the girl's heart, and to +herself it seems literally melting into one warm flood of sympathy. + +Ill! he looks ill and wretched, and she longs with a longing that +presses upon her, till it is like a physical agony, to give some +way to her feelings. + +"Dearest, my dearest!" she is thinking, "if I might only tell +you--even a little--" + +And Stephen stares at the soft face and warm lips, half-paralyzed +with desire to bend down and kiss them. How would a kiss be? how +would they--And so there is a momentary, barely perceptible pause, +filled with a painful intensity of feeling, to which neither gives +way one hair's breadth. Then he gives a curt laugh. + +"We have discussed rather a difficult problem and not settled it," +he says in a conventional tone. + +"It seems to me quite simple," murmurs the girl, with a throat so +dry that the words are hardly audible. + +He hears, but makes no reply beyond another slight laugh, as he +holds out his hand. The girl puts hers into it. There is a moderate +pressure only on either side, and then he goes out and shuts the +door, leaving the girl standing motionless--all the warm springs +in her heart frozen by his last cynical laugh. + +Brookes finds his way down the stairs, through the unlighted hall, +and lets himself out in the chill October air. + +He goes down the street feeling a confused sense of having +inflicted pain and left distress behind him, but his own sensation +of irritation, his own vexation and angry resentment against his +lot in life, all but obliterate it. + +For some seconds he walks on with all his thoughts merged together +in a mere desperate and painful confusion. "Only a hundred a year!" +is his plainest, most bitter reflection. "Five-and-twenty, and only +earning a hundred a year!" + +Brookes is not of a calm temperament. His nervous system is tensely +strung, and generally, owing to various incidental matters, +slightly out of tune, or at anyrate, feels so. + +His circulation is rapid, every pulse beats strongly, and the blood +flows hotly in his veins. + +His mental nature is of much the same order--passionate, excitable, +and impatient; but there is such a heavy curb-rein of control +perpetually upon it, that its three leading qualities jar inwardly +upon himself more than they show to outsiders. + +Even now the confused, excited disorder in his brain is soon +regulated and calmed by his will, and as he walks on he lapses into +trying to recollect whether he has said all he meant to. + +He concludes that he has, and a certain satisfaction comes over +him. + +"Well, I have told her my views now," he reflects. "She sees what I +think, and what my principles are. She won't wonder that I say +nothing. I shall try for another post and a rise of salary, and +then--" + +Stephen's character was a fine one in its way. The capacity for +self-command and self-denial was tremendous, his sense of honour +keen, his adherence to that which he conceived the right +inflexible, his will immutable; but of the subtler sweetness of +the human heart he had none. + +Of sympathy, the divine [Greek: sym, pathos], _the suffering with_, +he had not the vaguest conception: of its faint and poor +reflections, pity and mercy, he had but a dim idea. + +He stuck as well as he could to what he thought was the right +path, and as to the feelings of others, he could not be blamed for +not considering them, for he had never practically realized that +they had any. + +In the present circumstances he had a few, fine, adamantine rules +for conduct, which he was going to steadfastly apply, and he +thought no more of the girl's feelings under them than one thinks +of the inanimate parcel one is cording with what one knows is good, +stout string. + +In his eyes it was distinctly dishonourable for a man to engage a +girl to himself without a reasonably near prospect of marriage. + +It was also decidedly ungentlemanly to propose to a girl if she had +money and you had none. Moreover, it was extremely selfish to +remove a girl from a comfortable position to a poorer one, though +she might positively swear she preferred it; and lastly, it was +unwise for various reasons, to be too amiable to the girl, or to +give any but the dimmest clue to your own feelings. + +There was no telling--your feelings might change even--when you +have to wait so long--and then it was much better, _for the girl_, +that she should not be tied to you. + +To visit the girl frequently, to hang about her to the amusement of +onlookers, to keep alive her passion by look and hint and innuendo, +to excite her by advances when he was in the humour, and studiously +repulse her when she made any, to act almost as if he were her +_fiance_, and curtly resent it if she ever assumed he was more than +an ordinary friend--this line of action he saw no fault in. The +above were his views, and they were excellent, and if the girl +didn't understand them she might do the other thing. + +Some weeks passed, and the man and the girl saw each other +constantly--three or four times in the week, perhaps more; and the +inward irritation grew intense, while their outward relations +remained unchanged. + +There was a certain brutality that crept into the man's tones +occasionally when he addressed her, a certain savage irritability +in manner, that told the girl's keen intelligence something; some +involuntary sighs of hers as she sat near him, and an increasing +look of exhaustion on her face, that told him something. But that +was all. + +There were no tender passages between them; none of the +conventional English flirting--matters were too serious, and the +nature of each too violent to permit of that. A little bitter, +more or less hostile, conversation passed between them on the +most trifling subjects in his long afternoon calls. A little +music would be attempted--that is, he would sing song after song, +while she accompanied him, but a song was rarely completed. +Generally, before or at the middle, he would seize the music in a +gust of irrepressible and barely-veiled irritability, and fling +it on the piano--yet they attempted the music with unwavering +persistence, and both rose to go to the instrument with mutual +alacrity. + +There they were close to each other--so close that the warmth and +breath of their beings were interchanged. There in the pursuit of a +fallen sheet of music, his head bent down and touched hers. Once, +apparently to regain the leaf, his hand and arm leaned hard upon +her lap. One second, perhaps, no more; but the girl's whole +strained system seemed breaking up at the touch--her control +shattered, like machinery violently reversed. + +The music leaf was replaced, but her hands had fallen nerveless +from the keys. + +"It is hot. I can't go on playing. Put the window open, will you, +for me?" + +Stephen walked to the window, raised it, and smiled into the dark. + +That night it seemed to Stephen he could never force himself to +leave the girl. He prolonged the playing past all reasonable +limits, until May's sister laughingly reminded him that they were +only staying in seaside lodgings, and other occupants of the house +must be considered. Stephen reluctantly relinquished the friendly +piano, and then stood, with May's sweet figure beside him, and her +upraised face clear to the side vision of his eye, talking to her +sister. + +At last, when every trifle is exhausted of which he can make +conversation, there comes a pause, a silence; he can think of +nothing more. He nerves himself, holds out his hand, and says, +"Good-night!" + +May, influenced equally by the same indomitable aversion to be +separated from him, follows him outside the drawing-room, and +another pause is made on the stair. By this time a fresh stock of +chaff and light wit is ready in Stephen's brain, and he makes use +of anything and everything to procure him another moment at her +side; but of all the passion within him, of the ardent, impetuous +impulse towards her, nothing, not the faintest trace, shows. + +A mere "Good-night!" ends their conversation at length, and the +girl did not re-enter the drawing-room, but passed straight up the +stairs to her own room. + +"Does he care? Does he care or not?" she asked herself, walking +ceaselessly backwards and forwards. "If I only knew that he did! +This is killing me; and suppose, after all, he does not care!" + +She almost reels in her walk, and then stretches her arms out on +her mantelpiece, and leans her head heavily upon them. + +"So this is being in love!" she thinks, with a faint satirical +smile. "All this anxiety and pain and feeling of illness! Why, it +is as if poison had been poured through me." + +Through the next day May lay pallid and silent on the couch, +without pretence of occupation, feeling too exhausted even to +respond to her sister's chaff and raillery. + +It was only at dinner, when her brother-in-law informed his wife he +was sick of the place, and that nothing would induce him to stay +more than another week, that a stain of scarlet colour appeared in +May's cheeks and a terrified dilation in her eyes. + +Her lids were lowered directly, and the blood receded again. She +made no remark, but at the close of dinner she excused herself, and +went upstairs alone. + +Once in her room, she stripped off her dinner-dress and shoes, and +re-dressed in morning things. Her hands trembled so violently that +she could hardly fasten her bodice over the wildly-expanding bosom. + +But her resolve was fixed. They were going in a week. To-morrow, +she knew, Stephen was leaving the place for a fortnight. She must +see him to-night. + +When she is completely dressed, she pauses for a moment to choke +down the terrible physical excitement that seems to rob her of +breath and muscular power. + +Then she passes downstairs quietly and goes out. + +The night is still, cold, and dark. + +May walks rapidly through the few streets that divide his house and +hers. + +The few men she meets turn involuntarily to glance after the +splendid form that goes by them, and in her decisive walk, in the +eyes blind to them, they feel instinctively she is already owned, +mentally or actually, by some one other. + +When she reaches Stephen's house, she learns he is in, and with a +great fear of him suddenly rushing over her, she sends word up to +him by the servant: Will he see her? + +While she waits in the hall, her message is taken upstairs. May +leans against the wall, a terrible sick faintness, born of +excitement and hysteria, coming suddenly upon her. + +There is a hall-chair, but her eyes are too darkened to see it; she +simply clings to the handle of the door, and lets her head sink +against the side of the passage. + +Brookes is upstairs with his brother and two friends; they have +been playing cards, but a game is just over, and the men have got +up to stretch themselves. + +Stephen himself is leaning back against the mantelpiece, as his +habit is, and yawning slightly. He has just been beaten, and he is +a man who can't play a losing game. + +"No," his brother remarks. "I didn't know what the deuce 'Ladas' +meant till I looked it up; did you, Steve?" + +"Oh, I should think every schoolboy would know that," is the curt +response, and at that moment the servant's knock comes at the door. + +"Please, sir, there's a lady as wants to see you," the girl says +with a perceptible grin. "She said she wouldn't come up, and she's +waiting in the hall, sir." + +There is a blank silence in the room. Brookes pales suddenly, and +his eyebrows, that habitually have a supercilious elevation, rise +still higher with annoyance. + +He hesitates a single second, then, without a word in reply, he +crosses the room towards the door, and the servant retreats +hastily. + +The men glance furtively at each other, but Stephen's devil of a +temper being well known, they forbear to laugh or even smile till +he is well out of the room. Brookes goes down the stairs with one +sentence only in his mind: Coming to my rooms, and making a fool +of me! + +He is annoyed, intensely annoyed, and that is his sole feeling. + +May is standing upright now in the centre of the hall under the +swinging lamp, and she watches him run lightly down the long flight +of stairs towards her with swimming eyes. + +What is there in that figure of his that has so much influence on +her senses? More, perhaps, even than his face, do the lines of his +neck and shoulders and their carriage please her. All the pleasure +she can ever realise in life seems contained for her in that slim, +well-made frame, in its blue serge suit. + +She makes one impetuous step forward, her whole form dominated, +impelled by the surge of ardent feelings within her, and holds out +one trembling, burning hand. Stephen, with a confused sense of its +being awfully bad form that she should be standing in his hall, +takes it in his right hand, feeling hastily for the lucifers with +his left. + +"Er--come into the dining-room, won't you?" he says, with the +familiar, supercilious accent that with him is the expression of +suppressed annoyance and slight embarrassment. + +He knows the rooms are unlet, and with gratitude for this +providential circumstance in his thoughts, and his heart beating +violently with sudden excitement now he is actually in her +presence, he turns the handle of the door and sets it wide open. + +He strikes a match and holds it up, leaning back against the door, +for her to pass in before him. + +As she does so, their two figures for one second almost touch each +other, and a sudden glow lights up in his veins. He feels it, and +it warns him instantly to summon his self-control. That before +everything. + +The next moment he follows her into the room, lights the gas, +returns to the door, closes it, and then comes back towards the rug +where she is standing. + +By this time his command is his own. His face is as calm as a mask. +His large eyes, somewhat bloodshot now from hours of smoking and a +sleepless night, rest upon her with cold enquiry. + +She has seen them once, met them once, fixed, liquid, with +passionate longing upon hers; desperately she seeks in them now for +one gleam of the same light, but there is none. They and his face +are cloaked in a cold reserve. Sick, and with her heart beating to +suffocation, she says, as he waits for her to explain her presence: + +"We are--going away." + +Stephen's heart seems to contract at the words he had so often +dreaded to hear, heard at last. + +His thoughts take a greyer hopelessness. + +"Oh, really!" he says merely, the shock he feels only slightly +intensifying his habitual drawl. "Not immediately, I hope?" + +Nothing to the nervous, excited, over-strained girl before him +could be more galling, more humiliating, more crushing than the +cold, conventional politeness of his tones and words. + +This frightful fence of Society manner that he will put between +them--a slight, delicate defence, is as effectual as if he caused a +precipice by magic to yawn between them. + +"No--not--not--quite immediately, but soon," she falters. "And it +seems as if I could not exist if--I--never see you." + +There is a strained pause while they stand facing each other. He +is motionless; one hand rests in his pocket, the other hangs +nerveless at his side. + +They look at each other. Each is thinking of the supreme +delight--even if momentary--the other's embrace could give if--but +the conditions in the respective minds are different--in his: "If I +thought it wise;" in hers: "If he only would." + +"Well, we can write to each other," he says at last. + +"Oh, but what are letters?" the girl says passionately; and then, +urged on hard by her love for him, her intuition of his love for +her, and her common-sense instinct not to throw away her life's +happiness for a misunderstanding or petty feeling of pride, she +adds: "You know--don't you?--that I care for you more than anything +else in the world." + +Her tones are sharp with the intensity of feeling, and she +stretches both hands imploringly a little way towards him. + +He sees them quiver and her face whiten, and the frightened appeal +increase in her pained eyes searching his face, and it is a +marvel--later, he marvels at it himself--how, with his own passion +keen and alive in him, he maintains his ground. But there is +something in the whole scene that jars upon him--something +theatrical that makes the thought flash upon him: Is it a got-up +thing? + +This puts him on the defensive directly; besides, he resents her +coming to him in this way, and endeavouring to surprise from him +words he has already explained to her he is unwilling to say. + +She is trying to rush him, he puts it to himself; and the thought +rouses all his own obstinacy and self-will. + +When he chooses he will speak, and not before. + +"It is very good of you to say so," he answers quietly, in a cold +formal tone, and the girl quivers as if he had struck her. + +Now, in his lonely, sleepless nights, the misery on the white face +comes back and back to him in the darkness of his room, but then he +is blind to it. + +In an annoyed mood to begin with, irritated beyond bearing by his +own helpless, ignominious position, as he fancies, he has no +perception left for his own danger of losing her. + +And the man, who had lived till five-and-twenty, desiring real +love, and not knowing it, deliberately trampled upon it without +recognising what he did. + +His words cut the girl terribly. + +It seems impossible for the second that she can force herself to +speak again to him, but the terrible, irrepressible longing within +her nerves her for one more effort. + +"Is that all you can tell me? Do you not care for me at all?" + +He looks at her and hesitates. So modest, so appealing, so timid, +and yet so passionate! Surely this is genuine love for him. Why +thrust it back? But the thought recurs. No. She is rushing him; and +he declines to be rushed. Also a sort of half-embarrassment comes +over him, a nervous instinct to put off, ward off a scene in which +he will be called upon to demonstrate feelings he may not satisfy. + +He laughs slightly, and says: + +"Of course I do! I like you very much!" + +The tones are slighting and contemptuous, enough so to convey +the polite warning: Don't go any further, and force me to be +positively rude to you. + +Swayed by his strong physical passion, and blinded by the dogged +determination he has to remain master of it, he is absolutely +insensible of another's suffering. + +Had the girl had greater experience with men, more hardihood and +less modesty; if she could have approached him, and taken his hands +and pressed them to her bosom; if she had had the courage to force +upon him the mysterious influence of physical contact, Stephen's +control would have melted in the kindled fire. + +Words stir the brain, and through the brain, the senses; but with +some people it's a long way round. + +Touch stirs the nerves, and its flame runs through the body like a +flying pain. + +Stephen's physical nerves were far more sensitive than his brain, +and had the girl been a woman of the half-world, or even of the +world, she could have succeeded. But she was a girl; and her +modesty and innocence, the chastity of all her mental and physical +being, hung like dead weights upon her in the encounter. + +His words, his tones, his glance simply paralyze her--not +figuratively, but positively. Her physical power to move towards +him, to make a further appeal to him, is gone. Speech is dried upon +her lips, wiped from them as a handkerchief passed over them might +take their moisture. + +She looks at him, dumb, frenzied with the intense longing to throw +herself actually at his feet, but yet held back by some +irresistible power she cannot comprehend, any more than one can +comprehend the stifling, overpowering force in a nightmare. + +It is the simple result of her life, her breeding, her virtue, her +character, her habits of control and reserve. She is the +fashionable, well-brought-up girl, with all her sensitive instincts +in revolt against forcing herself upon a man indifferent to her, +and full of an overwhelming instinctive timidity that her desire is +wild to break down and cannot. + +She stares at him, lost in a sense of bitter pain. All her vigorous +life seems wrung with pain, and in that torture, in which every +nerve seems bruised and quivering, a faint smile twists at last the +pale, trembling lips. "You would have made a good vivisector!" she +says. Then, before he has time to answer, she turns the handle of +the door behind her, opens it and goes out. + +A second after the street door closes, and Stephen stands on the +dining-room mat, looking down the empty hall. Thoroughly disturbed +and excited, with all his own passion surging heavily through his +blood, and her last sentence--that he does not understand any more +than he understands his own cruelty--ringing in his ears, he +hesitates a minute, and then re-enters the dining-room, shuts to +the door, and walks savagely up and down. + +"Extraordinary girl!" he mutters. "What does she want? What can I +do? She knows I can say nothing at present, when I'm going into the +work-house myself! But what a splendid creature she is! Lots of +'go' in her. Well, I don't care. I'll have her one day; but there's +no use making a lot of talk about it now." + +May walked away from his doorstep, no longer a sane human being, +responsible for its actions. The whole physical, nervous system, +weakened by months of self-control, and night following night of +sleeplessness, was hopelessly dislocated now. + +The whole weight of her excited passion, flung back upon the +sensitive brain, turned it from its balance. It had been a +brilliant brain, and that very excitability that had lent its +brilliance was fatal to it now. + +The hopeless passion ran like a corroding poison through the +inflammable tissue. + +She had put the matter to the test, and found that truth of which +the mere possibility had been torture. He had absolutely rejected +her. "He could not care for me," she kept repeating, as the silent +air round her seemed full of his cold, short laughs. + +His passion for her was dead. It had existed, surely--those looks +of his, the sudden violence of his touch when there was any excuse +for the slightest contact with her--or had it all been some curious +dream? + +She could not tell now, but whether it had been or not, it was no +longer. To her that seemed the only explanation of his words and +tones. To the tender female nature the depth of brutality in the +passion of the male--that is, in fact, the very sign of it--remains +always an enigma. + +After the scene just passed, it seemed to the girl impossible, +ludicrous, to suppose that Stephen loved her. + +She had already made great allowance for him. She had a large share +of the gift of her sex--intuition; and she had understood more than +many women would have done, but to-night he had gone beyond the +limits of her imagination. + +"No man would be so intensely unkind to a woman he cared for," she +argued. "For nothing, when there is no need." + +She was not an unreasonable, nor selfish, nor silly girl. Had +Stephen told her he loved her, but that they must suppress their +passion, that she must wait, she would have obeyed him, and waited +months, years, gone down to her grave waiting, in patient fidelity +to him. Her qualities of control were as fine as his, and her +devotion to a man who loved her would have been limitless, but, +acting according to his views, Stephen had taken some trouble to +convince her he was not the man, and she was convinced. + +And being convinced, the vision of her life without him seemed just +then a dismal waste, impossible to face. + +In most of the actions of the human being, the physical state of +the person at the time is the principal factor, and May's whole +physical frame, violently over-strained, craved for rest--rest that +the excited brain could not give. Rest was the urgent demand +pressed by the breaking nervous system, and from these two +thoughts--rest, oblivion--grew the dangerous thought of Death. + +"Sleep and forget! but I can't," she thought, "and if I do, there +is the horrible awakening;" and again her fatigue suggested all the +past sleepless nights, and the craving of the body urged the brain +to find better means of satisfying it, in the same way as the +appetite for food forces the brain to devise methods for procuring +it. + +She walked on in a straight line from Stephen's house, and the road +happened to pass a post-office. May stopped and looked absently +through its lighted, notice-covered panes. + +"Send him a few lines," she thought; "because I am so stupid, I +could not tell him enough, and then--" + +She did not finish the sentence, but all beyond was blank peace. +She went in, bought a letter-card, and wrote:-- + + "I could have loved you devotedly, intensely, had you wished + it, but you have made it clear to-night that you do not want + love--at any rate, not mine. I have discovered that I have + courage enough to die, but not to live without you. I am going + to the sea now, and in an hour we shall be separated for ever. + I shall know nothing and you will care nothing, so it seems a + good arrangement. My last thought will be of you, my last + desire for you, my last breath your name." + +She fastened it with an untrembling hand, passed out of the office, +posted it, and went straight down a side street to the parade. + +The night was still, bound in a frosty silence. The temperature +sank momentarily, and the icy grip intensified in the air. +Overhead the sky was black, and glittered coldly with the winter +stars. Beside and behind her and before her not a living +creature's footstep broke the silence. The sea lay smooth, black, +and motionless on her left, like some huge sleeping monster. + +She walked on rapidly: a glorious, vigorous, living, youthful +figure, full of that tremendous activity of brain and pulse and +blood, so valuable when there is a use for it, so dangerous when +thrown back upon itself. + +"How I could have loved him, worshipped him, lived for him, had he +but wanted me!" is the one instinctive cry of her whole nature. + +At the first easy descent to the beach she turns from the parade, +and goes down, passing without hesitation from the light down to +the moist darkness of the beach. To get away into oblivion, to +escape from this maddening sense of pain, to lose it, let it go +from her like a garment in the black water, is her only impelling +instinct. + +She sees the glimmer of the water before her without a shudder. How +much dearer and more inviting it seems to her tired eyes than her +bed at home, where so many, many sleepless, anguished nights have +been spent! Here--rest and sleep, with no awakening to a grey and +barren to-morrow. The thought of Death is lost. Desire for the +cessation of pain is keener at its height than even the desire for +life. + +She stumbles on the wet, black beach at the water's edge, and then +finds where it is slipping like oil over the sand. + +She walks forward, and the chill of the water rises round her +ankles, then her knees, then her waist, and then she throws herself +face forwards on it, as she once thought to fling herself on his +breast. + +In a half-drunken satisfaction she stretches her arms out in it and +commences to swim towards the horizon. "Like his arms!" she thinks, +as the water encircles her. "Like his lips!" she thinks, as it +presses on her throat. "And as cold as his nature." + + * * * * * + +The following morning is calm and still--a perfect specimen of +wintry beauty. A light frost covers the ground and sparkles on the +trees. + +There is a faint chill in the clear air, a tranquil calm on the +gently rising and falling sea and in the lucid sky. + +The sunlight falling on Stephen's bed and across his sleeping face +shows a smile there, and his arm, lying on the coverlet--an arm +thinned by constant fever and night-sweats--rests, in his thoughts, +round her neck; that white neck so sweetly familiar in his dreams. + +After a time he wakes and yawns, and turns his head heavily towards +the window; and farther as the happy unconsciousness of sleep +recedes from his face, and recollection and intelligence come back +to it, more clearly show the haggard lines, traced all over it, of +self-repression, seaming and marking it at five-and-twenty. + +"Another day to be got through," he thinks merely, as Nature's most +precious gift--the light--pours glowing through the panes. + +When half-an-hour later he opens his door to take in his boots, he +finds two letters with them, and at the sight of one his heart +beats hard. + +The other is in the girl's handwriting, and he lays it on his +toilet-table, with the thought, "Asking me to go and see her, I +suppose," and turns to the other with a mad impatience. + +This is evidently the official letter with reference to his +post--the post that means to him but this one thing: her +possession. + +He bursts it open, and in less than two seconds his eye takes in +its news: he has the appointment. + +The blood leaps over his face, and an exultant fire runs through +his frame and along his veins. + +He replaces the letter quietly in its cover with but the slightest +tremor of his fingers. + +Then he gets up from the bedside and stands in the middle of the +room, looking through the sparkling panes. + +"I have her!" he is thinking. "Yes, by God! at last I have her!" + +The day is glorified; life is transfigured. + +Through his whole body mounts that boundless exhilaration of desire +on the point of satisfaction. Not momentary desire, easily and +recently awakened, but the long desire that has been goaded and +baited to fury through weeks and months of repression, and tempered +to a terrible acuteness in pain and suffering, like steel by flame. + +And now triumph, and a delight beyond expression, bounds like an +electrified pulse throughout all his strong, vigorous frame. + +The lines seem to fade from his face, the mouth relaxes, and then +he laughs, as he makes a step towards the window, flings it open, +and leans out into the keen air. + +"At last I can speak out decently. No one could think I cared for +her money, or any of that rot now. How unexpected!--this morning! +Now I can tell her I'm free, independent! I am glad I waited--it +was much better. Far better, as I said, to be patient. Last night I +almost--and now I'm very glad I didn't." + +He draws his head back, and turns to the glass to shave with a +light heart. + +As he does so, he sees her letter again, and picks it up. "You +darling!" he thinks, "I'll make you understand all now." + +Some miles westward of the pier, some fathoms deep, out of reach of +the quiet sunlight lying on the surface, tosses the girl's body, +senseless and pulseless, with all the million possibilities of +pleasure that filled those keen nerves and supple limbs gone out of +them for ever, and Stephen draws out her despairing letter of +eternal farewell, with a smile lighting up his handsome, pleasing +face. + +"Yes, it was much better to wait," he murmurs, "I don't approve of +rushing things!" + + + + +III + +CHAPTER I + + +It was morning on the Blue Nile. The turbulent blue river rolled +joyously between its banks, for it was high Nile, and a swift, +light breeze was blowing--the companion of the Dawn. The vault of +the sky seemed arched at a great height above the earth, springing +clearly, without any object to break the line from the horizon of +gold sand, and full of those white, filmy, light-filled gleaming +clouds that are one of the wonders and glories of Upper Egypt and +the Soudan. It was a morning and a scene to make a man's heart rise +high in his breast, and cry out, as his eyes turned from the +level-sanded desert floor, through sunlit space, to the vaulted +roof, "After all, the world is a good house to live in." + +Slowly the strong yellow sunlight poured over the plain, the bank +and the river, gilding every ripple; and, as the light grew, +hundreds of delicate shapes--the forms of the ibis and flamingo +and crane, and other river-fowl--became visible, crowding down the +dark banks, with flapping of white and crimson wings, and +stretching of legs, and opening of beaks, rustling down, shaking +their feathers, to bathe and drink of the Blue River. + +Wonderful light, and miraculous, gleaming, cloud-filled sky, and +wonderful birds preening their plumage and calling to each other, +and wonderful breeze-swept water, bluer than the bluest depths of +the Indian Ocean. + +It was still so early that, in the whole stretch of rollicking, +tumbling, buoyant waters between bank and bank, only one piece of +river-craft could be seen. This pushed onward, cleaving through the +little billows in the teeth of the morning breeze. It was a tiny +naphtha launch--a horrid, fussy, smoking little thing, cutting +through breeze and water, and diffusing a scent of oil and greased +iron in the pure and radiant air. A white bird on the bank looked +at it, and rose with a startled note of alarm, and a flight of +lovely-salmon-coloured colleagues followed. The others merely +looked up and paused, with their wings wide stretched, and then +went on calmly with their toilets--they had seen it before. + +In the launch, of which the whole centre was taken by the +naphtha-stove--the engine by courtesy--sat a young Englishman, +whose face had that frank, attractive look of one whose thoughts +are kindly, well disposed to all the world; and at stem and stern +stood, erect and silent, the white-clothed figure of a boy from +the Soudan. Lithe, graceful forms supported long necks and +straight-featured faces, black as if carved out of smooth ebony, +and contrasting strangely with the white turbans of stiff linen +twisted deftly into a high crest above the brows. Swiftly the +little boat ran on for a mile or two against wind, with its three +silent and motionless occupants; then one boy turned, and +pronounced solemnly the two words, "Mister, Omdurman!" + +This was accompanied with a gracious wave of his hand towards the +bank, as he leant forward to stop the engine, and his companion +turned the boat to land. + +Omdurman, as seen from the river level, looks like nothing but a +long streak of duller yellow on the real gold of the African sand. +Its tiny, square, flat-roofed mud-houses are not, with few +exceptions, higher than six feet, and there is nothing else save +them and their dreary, yellow-brown, muddy monotony in the whole +village: not a palm, not a flower, not one blade of grass, simply a +collection of low mud-houses, with trampled mud-paths between, and +here and there an open, brown, dusty square. + +The stillness and heat of the day were settling down now: the first +wild, cool youth of the morning was past, and the Englishman felt +the heat of the desert rise from the ground and strike his face, +like the blow of a flail, as he stepped on land. He expected the +Soudanese boys to follow, as they generally did on similar +excursions--one to secure the boat and sit and wait beside it, and +the other to accompany himself, carry his tripod and camera, and +act as guide and general escort. To-day the boy stood in the boat, +and addressed him earnestly: + +"Boat wanted by other misters: let us go back: take them. We make +much money; come again evening, take you home." + +"But, you young ruffians, what am I to do out here alone? I don't +know the way, and I want you to carry my things," expostulated the +Englishman, vainly trying to adjust a pair of blue goggles over his +eyes, smarting already in the intolerable glare from the sand, +while striving not to let drop his camera, fiercely cuddled under +one arm, and its tripod of steel legs and an overcoat balanced on +the other. + +The black remained for a moment impassive, statuesque, wrapped in +reflection. Then he brightened: + +"Me know," he said, suddenly springing from the boat. "Me take you +my house. Sister show you the way: sister carry mister's things." + +The Englishman stared for a moment into the eager, intelligent +face, strangely handsome, though in ebony. After all, do we not +think a well-carved table beautiful, although sometimes, even +because, it is in ebony? Then _he_ brightened: + +"Very good; take me to your house, and let me see your sister," he +said good-humouredly; adding inwardly, "If she's anything like you, +she'll be the very thing for the camera." + +They turned from the cool, rolling, billowy water inwards towards +the desert and the huts of Omdurman, and the heat rose up and +struck their cheeks each step they took. + + * * * * * + +Merla stood that morning at her hut doorway looking out--out +towards the river she could not see, for the banks rise and the +desert falls slightly behind them. She stood on the threshold, and +the sun beat on her Eastern face, and showed it was very good. She +was sixteen, and, like her brothers who ran the naphtha launch for +the English, she was straight and erect, tall and lithe and supple, +with a wonderful stateliness and majesty of carriage, though she +had never been taught deportment nor attended physical culture +classes. Merla was beautiful, with the perfect beauty of line that +belongs to her race, and possessed the straight, high forehead, the +broad, calm brow that tells of its intelligence and nobility. She +knew, however, nothing of her own beauty. She never cared for +staring into the little squares of glass that the girls of the +village would buy in the market-place, nor coveted the long strings +of blue glass beads that the Bishareens brought in such numbers to +sell in Omdurman; nor did it specially please her to lay the beads +against her neck, and see them slide up and down on her smooth skin +as she breathed, though her companions would thus sit for hours +cross-legged before their little mirrors, breathing deep to note +how their beads rose and fell and glistened in the light. + +Merla loved much better to steal out of the hut at night, when the +oil-lamp smoked against the mud wall and the air was heavy, into +the pure calm darkness of the desert, and gaze up at the stars, and +listen to the far-off tom-toms beating fitfully against the +stillness. And if ever any little coins came into her possession, +it seemed unkind to spend them on glass or beads when there was +always milk and oil needed in the house. And if, when these were +bought, there was any coin left, then her real luxury was to buy +food for the poor thin camel that lay at night in the mud-yard +behind their hut, and to go and feed it secretly in the starlight. +And she would press her hands into the soft fur of its neck as it +leant towards her, feeling that delight that springs from being +kind and loving, and being loved. The law of her life was love, a +law springing naturally in her mind, as the beauty and health in +her body. Her father, her mother, her brothers were all loved by +her; and, beyond these, the unfortunate camels and the donkeys +whose sides bled where the girths cut them as the careless +Englishmen rode them in and out of the village to and from the +Mahdi's tomb, and the lean, barking curs in the mud street that +seldom barked as she passed by. All these she loved and sympathised +with, though she had not been taught sympathy any more than she had +been taught grace. + +This morning she was radiant and happy as she looked through the +quivering, yellow light that danced above the sand towards the +river. Last night she had fed the camel and caressed it, and she +had listened, half awe-struck, to the tom-toms in the distance. The +music had seemed to come to her ears with a new sound. The breeze +had blown from the river with a new kiss to her face. She was +growing into a woman, and the sap of life was rising fast and +vigorous within her, lifting her up with the boundless joy of life. +And as she looked, two white spots, a crested turban and a solar +topee, appeared over the edge of the bank, moving towards her. + +"My sister!" said the Soudanese boy, with a regal air, when they +stood at the mudhouse door. And some instinct, as he was young and +foolish, made the Englishman drag off both goggles and solar topee +for a moment, and so Merla looked up and saw him with the sun +bright on his light Saxon hair and friendly blue eyes. + +"Merla," went on the boy rapidly to his sister in his own tongue, +"this English mister from Khartoum must have a guide to Kerreree. I +go back to the boat: other Englishman want me. You go to Kerreree, +Show everything; carry black box for him--carry everything. Salaam, +Stanhope Mister." + +And, without waiting for either assent or dissent, he swiftly, yet +without any loss of dignity or show of hurry, departed. Merla's +large eyes were downcast. She was a free woman, and came and went +unveiled, nor was it impossible for her to talk to the white +people, for her parents were poor and humble, and glad to make +piastres in any way they could. One of her sisters was a +water-carrier at the hotel in Khartoum, and she might be engaged +there also when she was older. But still she held her eyes down, +for she felt embarrassed and oppressed, and, besides, the topee and +the goggles had been replaced, and they spoilt the vision she had +seen first of the English face. + +"Well, Merla, if that's your name, will you come with me?" the +Englishman said lightly. He knew the tongue well that her brothers +spoke, not in any of its refinement and subtlety, but in the +ordinary distorted way an Englishman usually speaks a foreign +tongue. + +"I will ask if I may," she returned simply, in a low voice, and +drew back into the dark hut behind her. After a moment she +reappeared. "My mother and my brother have ordered it," she said +calmly. "I am ready." + +Struck by the philosophic, impassive accent of her voice, and not +feeling at all flattered, the young man added in rather a nettled +tone: + +"But I hope it's not disagreeable to you. You are willing to come?" + +Then Merla looked at him steadily from under her calm, +widely-arching brows: "I am willing." A calm pride enwrapped all +her countenance, and it seemed as if she said it somewhat as a +victim might say, "I am willing," on being led to the altar of +sacrifice. Yet her eyes were radiant, and seemed to smile on him. + +The young Englishman was puzzled, as young England mostly is by the +East, and, seeing this, the girl added, "Certainly I am willing; it +is fated I should go with you. Give me the black box." + +But it goes against the grain of an Englishman to let a woman carry +his baggage, though he hires her to do it, and he held his camera +back from her. + +"Take these," he said; "they are lighter," and he gave the little +tripod to her, and so they started down the mud sun-baked street +that leads through Omdurman to the desert, and out towards the +battle-ground of Kerreree. There were few people stirring; the men +had already started to their work in the fields by the Nile, or on +the river itself, and the women kept within the close darkness of +the huts mixing and baking meal for the evening's food. Merla +walked on swiftly and silently like a shadow at Stanhope's side +through the mud village, and then on into the silent heat of the +desert beyond. Here the fury of the sun was intense. The river was +out of sight, lying low between its banks. To infinite distance on +every side of them stretched the plain, and the soil here was not +golden sand, but curiously black, like powdered coal or lava. Not a +living thing moved near them; only, far away towards the horizon, +now and then passed a string of camels of some Bedouins travelling. +They walked on in silence. Stanhope found the walking heavy, as his +heeled boots sank into the loose, black soil, and it was difficult +to keep up with the swift, easy steps of the bare black feet beside +him. His duck suit was damp, and the line of flesh exposed between +cuff and glove on his wrist was burnt to a livid red already in the +smiting heat. Suddenly Merla's eyes fell on this, and she stopped. +Over her head she wore a loose veil of coarse white muslin. As she +stopped, she unwound this from her hair, and tore two strips from +it. Stanhope stopped too, well pleased at the pause. + +"You burn your English skin; the flesh will come off," she said +gravely, and before he quite realised it, she had passed one of the +muslin strips round and tied it on his wrist. Stanhope's instinct +was to protest at once, but there was something in the girl's +earnestness and the tender interest with which she put the muslin +on his hand that checked him. Also the pain, whenever his sharp +cuff touched the seared skin, was unpleasant, and made him really +appreciate the improvised protection. + +"Your pretty veil, Merla, you've torn it up for me," he remarked +regretfully as they started again. Merla glanced at him suddenly; +she said nothing, but the pride and joy in her eyes startled the +man beside her. He could find no more words, and silence fell +on them again till Merla roused him from a reverie by saying +indifferently: + +"Look! that white heap there--bones, dead men, dead horses. This +side, white bones too; many dead here--many bones." + +Stanhope looked round. Everywhere, scattered in heaps, shone the +white bones. They had come to the edge of the battlefield. Before +them rose the little hill of Teb-el-Surgham, crowned by its cairn +of black stones and rocks, surrounded by whitened bones and skulls, +from the summit of which the English watched the defeat of the +Khalifa's force. Stanhope cast his eyes over the dreary, black, +blood-soaked plain, on which there was no blade of grass, no plant, +no flower--only black rock and white bones, that shimmered together +in the torrid heat. + +"Horrible! Merla, war is horrible! Come and sit down; I'm dead +tired. Let's sit down here against this rock and rest." + +Stanhope threw himself down by one of the rocks at the base of the +hill, and leant back against it. The girl took her place on the +sand opposite him, with her feet tucked under her. Not far from +them lay a skull, turned upwards to the glaring sky. + +"Will you let me photograph you?" he asked after a minute's gazing +at the rich dark beauty of the youthful face, "or is it against +your customs?" + +"It is against our customs," Merla answered, her hands closing hard +on the tripod beside her. What terror it would mean for her to +stand before that great black box, and have that evil black eye +glare upon her for long seconds! She had seen her countrywomen flee +shrieking to their huts, when the Englishmen approached with their +black boxes. + +"But you will do it for me, won't you?" answered Stanhope +persuasively, having set his heart on the picture. + +"Yes, I will do it for you; it is right, if you wish it," she +answered steadily. + +Stanhope accepted at once such a convenient theory, and sprang up +to fix the tripod and the camera in order, and the girl sat still +on the sand watching him, cold with terror in the burning air. + +"Now, pick up that skull and hold it out in your hand, so. Yes, +that's right. Now, stand a little further back. Yes, that's +perfect." + +There was no difficulty in getting her to pose. The natural +attitudes of her race are all perfect poses. And Merla stood +erect, facing the camera, with the emblem of death in her hand. + +"Thank you; I am very much obliged! That'll be a first-rate +picture," he said gratefully when he had finished, and Merla sat +down with a strange swimming feeling of joy rushing over her. +Stanhope was some time fussing with his camera, and putting it back +in its case out of the light. Then he wanted lunch, and drew forth +a sandwich-case and a wine-flask. The girl would only eat very +little, and would not taste the wine. Stanhope, who was very hungry +and thirsty, ate all his sandwiches and drank all the wine, and +began to feel very bright, refreshed, and exhilarated. + +"Do you know you are very beautiful?" he remarked, as he stretched +himself comfortably in the shade of the rock and gazed at her, +seated sedately on the sand in front of him. + +"Beautiful?" she repeated slowly, reflectively, "am I? The white +camel that lives down by the market square is beautiful, and so was +the Mahdi's tomb." + +"Well, you are more beautiful even than the white camel or the +Mahdi's tomb," returned Stanhope, laughing. "And what do you think +of me?" he added curiously. "Where do I come in the list? somewhere +close after the white camel, I hope." + +Then, as she gazed at him steadfastly, without replying at all, he +felt rather piqued, and took off his blue glasses and squared his +fine shoulders against the rock. + +"Oh, you!" said the girl softly at last, "You are like nothing on +earth, lord! You are like the sun when he first comes over the +plain, or the moon at night, when it floats, white and shining, +through the blue spaces!" + +She sat sedately still, but her breast heaved under the straight, +white tunic: her eyes were full of soft fire: her voice was low, +and quivered with enthusiasm. Stanhope flushed scarlet. Confused +and startled, he stared into her eyes, and so they sat, silent, +gazing at each other. + + * * * * * + +That same afternoon there was a big fair or bazaar in the trampled +mud square in the centre of the Soudanese village that lies higher +up the river at the back of Khartoum. The place was gay with colour +and crowded with moving figures. From long distances, from far-off +villages down and up the river, the natives had come in, either to +sell or to buy along the wide, dusty road that went out from either +side of the square, leading each way north and south. The mud-huts +stood all round the square, backed by some date-palms, for Khartoum +and the village behind it are more favoured with shade than +sun-baked Omdurman. And in the centre of the square stood or sat +the natives, buying and selling, chaffering and gesticulating. Some +were Bishareens, with straight forms and features, and black bodies +almost covered with long strings and chains of beads. They stood +about gracefully to be admired, with their wooly hair fluffed out +at right angles to their head, for the occasion. Some were +corn-merchants, sitting leisurely before a heap of golden grain +piled up loosely on the ground. Others stood by patiently with +their fowls or goats or camels, feeding them with green fodder; and +others had vivid scarlet rugs and carpets of native make spread out +on the uneven ground. And all day long the noise of the merchants, +and the cry of the fowls, and the groan of the camels, and the +dust of the square, and the smoke of the cooking fires went up from +the bazaar. + +In one corner of it, on a square of blue carpet, spread beneath his +camel's nose, sat a merchant who had been observed to come early to +the fair. He appeared to be a man of some substance, for he was +clothed, and the camel kneeling beside him was fat and sleek, and +would easily make two of the thin camels of Khartoum. Opposite him, +sitting on his heels and holding out two lean hands to tend the +small fire that smoked between them, was another, obviously poorer, +from his smaller amount of dress and flesh. + +"It is true: your Merla is the pearl of the desert. I have heard it +from my mother," observed the merchant reflectively. "Still, think, +my brother, a good riding camel that can be hired out to the +Englishmen every day for thirty piastres the day; in a short time +you will feed on goat's flesh, and wear boots, with all that +money." + +The black eyes of the listener sparkled, but he objected shrewdly +enough. + +"My daughter eats not as much as a camel, and the English want not +a camel every day." + +The stranger, fat and comfortable-looking, with a certain amount of +opulent Oriental good looks, waved his hand with a lordly gesture. + +"Let it not be said that Balloon is an oppressor of the poor. Give +me the pearl, and this knife shall go with the camel, also this +piece of blue carpet--a noble offer, my brother; where will you +find such another?" + +He drew from his crimson sash a longish knife, keen-bladed, with +trueblue, Eastern steel, and having a good bone-handle, on which +the fingers clasped easily. The other took the knife and gazed at +it intently. + +"'Tis but a poor thing," he said at last, indifferently thrusting +it into the cloths twisted round his waist. "Yet the camel and the +carpet may suit me, and, as you say, you need not the girl at +present, I will agree, as I am a poor man, and the poor are ever +under the heel of the rich. The girl shall be sent to your house on +your return." + +"I go now northwards, and shall return by the full moon; disappoint +me not, Krino or it shall be evil for you." + +"I disappoint no man," replied Krino calmly, taking over from the +other the string of the camel, and the fine beast turned its dark, +soft head, and looked with liquid eyes on its new owner. + +The sky began to show an orange and crimson glow behind the palms, +and many cooking-fires now gleamed like spots of blood upon the +sand, and the figures still came and went, and talked and bartered, +for the goods were not nearly all sold, and the heaps of fine corn +were still high in many places, and the fair would go on to-morrow +and the next day. But Krino got up and took his way homeward, +exulting over his bargain, and leading the camel. + +At the same hour, lower down the Nile, at Omdurman, the river lay +calm now, without a ripple, and bathed in gold; a stream of liquid +gold it seemed, asleep between its deep-green banks, and only now +and then did a white-sailed felucca glide by in the golden evening +light. + +Two figures came down from the desert to the Nile out of the flat, +heated air of the plain to the divine freshness by the water. +Here, in the cool, golden light, they paused slow and reluctant to +part. + +"Good-night, Merla! Are you unhappy that I must go?" + +The girl raised her face, and looked at him with steadfast eyes. + +"The sun gilds the black rock, but the rock cannot expect the sun +to stay. I am quite happy. Good-night!" + +Another moment and the little launch had sprung out from the deep +shadowed bank on to the golden surface, and was steaming, amidst +the gold and rosy ripples, back to Khartoum. + +When Merla reached the little enclosure of stamped clay round her +hut, she saw a new camel feeding there, and cried out for joy. She +ran to it and clasped her hands about its velvet neck, and called +to her father, as he sat smoking at the doorway, a dozen questions. +Where had it come from? Whose was it? But the old man only chuckled +and laughed, and would not answer. + +"No, no," he thought, watching her with pride, as she played round +the camel, "let the maiden wait to know the joy in store for her +till the full moon; she is but a child." + +Stanhope went that night to a dance at the palace at Khartoum, but +he was late in arriving, and seemed very dull and absent-minded +when he came, and flattered the women less than usual. "He used to +be such a nice boy when he first came here," they complained +amongst themselves, "but he was quite horrid to-night--he must be +in love," and they all laughed, for every one knew there was no one +in Khartoum to fall in love with except themselves, and he had not +led any one of them to suppose she was the favoured one. + + + + +CHAPTER II + + +The night was calm, and in the purple, star-filled sky the moon was +rising. It was at the full. The naphtha launch was on the river, +but it moved silently; current was with it, and the light airs +favourable, so there was no need of the engine; one single sail +carried the boat easily over the buoyant water. The stars and the +rising moon gleamed in the smooth, black ripples. Stanhope sat in +the boat thinking, wrapped in a cruel reverie. + +He felt he had sailed the craft of his life too near the perilous +shore of unconventionality, and now he saw the rocks ahead of him +plainly, on which it would be torn in pieces. Yet how to turn back, +or move the helm to steer away from them? + +"A month ago," he thought, as his eye caught the reflection of the +rising moon in the water, "when that moon was young, I was free. +Not a soul cared for me, whether I lived or died, and I cared for +no one." Now there was one, he knew, who lived upon his coming, +whose feet ran to meet him, whose eyes strained their vision to see +his first approach. And he, too; he was no longer free. His heart +went out to that other heart, beating for him alone so truly, so +faithfully, full of such unquestioning adoration and obedience, in +mud-walled sun-parched Omdurman. + +When the launch touched the bank, he sprang out and walked swiftly +up to their usual meeting-place: the deserted mud enclosure of a +deserted hut--an unlovely meeting-place enough--but filled with the +sweet air of the desert night and the royal light of the stars. + +"My lord looks weary to-night," said Merla softly, after they had +greeted each other, and had sat down side by side with their backs +to the low wall. + +"Yes, I am tired with thinking. What is to be the end of this, +Merla? Where is our love drifting us to?" + +"Why does my lord concern himself with that? We are in the hands of +Fate." + +Stanhope moved impatiently. + +"Our fate is what we make it." + +"It is not wise to enquire about our fate," replied Merla, and he +saw her face grow grave with resolution in the dim light. "But I +can tell you, if you like, what it will be: when you are ready, you +will go back to your own people, your own life, and you will be +very happy." + +"And you--?" asked Stanhope in a whisper. + +"I shall then have lived my life. I shall die and be buried out +there," and she motioned to the desert. "I shall have given my lord +happiness for a time: think what delight, what honour!" + +Stanhope shuddered. + +"Don't, don't, I can't bear to hear you; do you ask nothing for +yourself from life?" + +"Life has given me all now," returned Merla, with a proud smile on +her face. + +"Why should we not go home to my land together?" said Stanhope +passionately, in that sudden revolt against the laws of custom that +stirs all humanity at times. "Why should I not take you to live +with me for always to be my wife? who would forbid me?" + +Merla shook her head, and pressed hard on his hand lying beside her +on the sand. + +"The sun cannot lift the black rock from the desert and take it to +dwell in the blue spaces; neither can the sun stay with the rock. +You are grieving for me; do not. I am quite happy. I accept what +must be. My life ends when you go." + +For a wild moment it seemed to Stanhope that he must dare +everything and take her. After all, she was intelligent: she could +be educated. She was beautiful, youthful; and what a love she +poured out at his feet!--different in calibre, in nature, +different, from its root up, from any love he could hope to find +again--a love that asked absolutely nothing for itself, not even +the right to live, and yet would give its all unquestioningly, +unsparingly. It is not a toy to be thrown away lightly, and +Stanhope realised this. + +"The blue spaces are cold and empty, Merla," he said, suddenly +catching her to his breast. "You must come with me." + +"No, lord, it is impossible; you speak only for me," whispered +Merla, though she clasped his neck tightly. "You must go and live +happy, and I shall die happy; even in my grave I shall remember +your kisses." + + * * * * * + +An hour later, the moon was well up in the sky, though the light +was not yet brilliant, and they parted by the wall of the +cattle-byre with promises to meet on the morrow, and he turned and +left her standing in the shadow; but some instinct moved him, and +he returned and kissed her yet again, and said one more farewell; +then he took the narrow track leading down to the river, and Merla +knew that she must hasten home; for her father, who had been out in +the early evening, would be returning. Before she left she turned +back once more into the byre, and stood looking at the stars that +she had communed with so often: a great sadness fell on her +thoughts, a chill as after a final parting. As she turned to go, +her eyes fell on a grey patch on the byre floor--his coat! He had +left it behind. Merla gave a little laugh as she picked it up: the +parting seemed less final now. She would keep it till the morrow. +Would he want it? miss it? No, the night was so still and sultry; +and, throwing it over her arm, she passed onwards to her hut. + +As she neared the enclosure, her heart beat rapidly. A light was +burning within the hut, and by the moonlight she saw the great +camel moving restlessly in the narrow space outside. Angry voices +reached her in sharp discussion--her father's and another. Just +inside the enclosure she paused and listened, trembling, uncertain +what this unusual clamour and strange voice might mean. + +"I gave you my camel, my knife, and my carpet. Where is the Pearl I +was promised? Is not the moon at the full?" + +Merla heard these words with a thrill passing through every fibre. +She knew her father had no pearl in his possession, but was not +her name "Pearl of the Desert"? Next there came some confused +murmur--seemingly words of apology--in her father's voice that she +could not catch, but the stranger interrupted angrily: + +"Unhappy man! tricked seller, tricked buyer, would you know where +the Pearl is? would you know where your daughter hides? I have +heard that she has been seen with a stranger, a white-faced +stranger--I know not if he be a leper or an Englishman--" with a +bitter laugh, "but in either case I want her not. Come, give me my +knife, and I lead off my camel." + +Merla's heart failed, for her father gave a shriek as he heard the +accusation, and a shower of oaths and imprecations came to her +shrinking ears. Nothing was clear any more; there was only clamour +and raving in the hut. But once she caught the words, "to the +river--does he go to the river?" and above all the storm of words +there was the awful sound of the sharpening of a knife. + +Like a shadow, noiseless and silent, Merla crept swiftly, under the +shade of the camel's body, across the enclosure to the mud +partition behind which her youngest brother slept, and roused him. +"Nungoon!" she said breathlessly, gripping his shoulder, "take the +track to the river, and run for your life. You will overtake the +Englishman. Tell him this. 'Merla says: Run to the launch and get +off the land quickly, and never come back to Omdurman, or come with +a guard. They seek to kill you here.' Go, brother; run!" + +The boy, startled from his sleep, gathered himself together and +rose. His sister, leaning over him with ashy face and fixed eyes, +seemed like Fate itself directing him. Moreover, Oriental youth is +accustomed to obey unquestioningly. Without a word, simply with a +sign of assent, he fled out of the enclosure, down the track to the +river. + +Merla stepped back and out of the yard, and stood waiting, silent +as before; she had formed her resolution, and all fear was past. +The mats in front of the door were suddenly pushed aside, and a +streak of light fell across the yard, but it could not touch her, +sheltered by the wall. She saw her father rush out, wild-eyed, and +the long blade of the knife gleamed blue in the moonlight. + +Then, as he dashed through the enclosure entrance, she moved her +feet suddenly, scraping the sand, and then fled, wrapped in +Stanhope's long light overcoat, up towards the desert, away from +the river. Krino, blinded, maddened by passion, glanced at the wall +whence came the scraping sound, and then, catching sight of a +flying form in English dress, plunged with a cry of triumph after +it. Merla fled like the wind along in the shadow of the wall, +keeping in the darkness, with her head down, fearing lest her bare +head or bare feet might betray her. But Krino's eyes were fixed on +the silvery grey of the English overcoat, and, blind to all else, +he raced on in the uncertain light with his eyes intent on the +shoulders between which he would plunge his knife. Up through the +heart of sleeping Omdurman, past silent huts and yellow walls that +gleamed pale in the moonlight, through the village to the desert, +hunted and hunter fled on, and Krino's heart rose in savage +triumph. + +"Fool! he cannot escape me now; by the river--yes, but not in the +desert; he cannot escape." + +And the desert was reached and entered, and still the two noiseless +shadows fled over the sand. + +Merla's strength was failing: her sight was reeling; she could run +no more. Only the joy of knowing that each step led the enemy +farther from her loved one had supported her till now. Now he was +safe, he must be away on the friendly river. There had been ample +time. Not now would it be possible for Krino to reach the river +before her lover had embarked. It was well. All was well! And the +black sand spun round her in the moonlight, as she heard the hiss +of her father's breath behind her. She wavered. With a bound the +man threw himself forward. One stab, and the keen blade sank +through the flesh below the shoulder, driving her forward, and she +fell face downwards on the sand. + +Blind still with fury, the Soudanese bent down, tore at the head to +drag it back that he might slash it from the body, and turned up +the face to the moonlight. Fixed in agony and triumph, it looked +back at him--the dead face of his daughter, the PEARL OF THE +DESERT. + + + + +IV + + +The last flare of the sunset was falling on the walls of Jerusalem, +staining them crimson, and flooding all the enchanting circle of +the hills that lie round the city with rosy light. Low down in one +of the depressions, where the long sun-rays could not reach, and +the olive-trees looked grey in the twilight, stood the grim, white +Monastery of the Holy Virgin. The air was sweet and cool here, far +from the pollution of the city, and the evening sky stretched fair +and radiant above the purple hills. Unbroken quiet reigned, and +only one thing in the landscape moved--the figure of a girl +ascending swiftly a narrow, stony road under the shadow of the +wall. She seemed burdened with many things that she was carrying, +and oppressed with some haunting fear, for she looked back +frequently, and then pressed on with redoubled speed. The stony +track brought her at last to the corner of the enclosure of +olive-trees belonging to the monastery; it branched here, one path +leading straight to the gates of the building, the other skirting +the olive-wood plantation, and then passing on out into the barren +hills and open country towards Jericho. The girl took the second +track, and here, under the friendly shade of the sheltering trees, +she walked more erect and easily. When she reached the farther +corner of the plantation she stopped and listened, gazing round +her. There was no sound, the light was failing, the hush deepening. +"Nicholas," she breathed in a clear whisper, leaning on the low +stone plantation wall, "are you there?" A rustling of some long +robe against bushes answered her--the olive branches were pushed +aside, and the figure of a Greek priest came from between them. +With a smile of intense joy on his face he leant over the wall, and +clasped the girl's two soft hands in his. + +"Esther!" he whispered back, "you have come; you have decided then, +you are ready?" + +"I am quite ready," answered the girl, pressing close to the wall +and lifting her face; the last gleam of gold light from the rising +ridge to the west touched it, and showed it was very fair. "If you +are sure it is right, if you have faith in Jehovah to lead us." + +The priest's face, pale and emaciated, with the rapt look of the +visionary stamped upon it, lighted up suddenly with a new +exaltation. + +"I am quite sure. Last night when I was praying, still in doubt, +before the great crucifix, I heard a voice from above saying: +'Nicholas, you are absolved from further prayer and penance here. +Go forth with the maiden you love and serve Me in the world. The +joy of human hearts singing to Me in grateful praise is more +pleasing to Me than these groans and tears and prayers. I have +created the blue sky and the laughing seas and the green hills; go +forth and see my works, and praise Me.'" + +The Jewish girl had listened intently, her face as rapt as his +while he spoke, the fire of joy glowing in her eyes. + +"Come, then, at once," she murmured in an ardent whisper, and +Nicholas stepped over the low boundary into the hill road, now +wrapped in darkness. Before them still glimmered dimly the white +outlines of the monastery behind the trees. The man stood +motionless, gazing at them, the girl's hand tightly clasped in his +and held against his breast. + +"The agony, the misery I have suffered behind those walls," he +muttered, "for sixteen years!" + +"It is over," murmured the girl; "come away to the hills; we have +no time to lose." + +She stooped to gather up the objects in the road. "I have brought +you these things," she said confusedly, hardly audibly. "Change +into them quickly, and then follow me up the road. No, I will take +all the rest," she added, as he took the bundle of clothing she +gave him and stretched out his hand for the other smaller things. +"Hasten, Nicholas, it is so dangerous here!" With this parting +entreaty she went on up the road carrying the bundles. + +After she had gone a little way she paused and listened--all was +quite still--the stars now showed fitfully in the deepening purple +of the sky, a little breeze blew gently up from the wilderness +towards Jerusalem. The girl sat down by the wall, with her back +against it, and her hands clasped round her knees. Her face had a +strange, wonderful beauty as she sat waiting, white-skinned and +softly-moulded, with resolute, dark eyebrows drawn straight across +the calm forehead. A few moments passed, and then Nicholas +approached; his flowing priest's robes were gone, the high, +straight, black hat of the order was no longer on his head: it was +bare, and the long uncut hair, as the Greeks wear it, was twisted +in two thick fair coils round his head. Esther sprang up, +untwisting a broad sash from her waist. + +"Take this! No wait! let me twist it round your head--yes, so. Now +it looks like a Jewish turban. You have the robe and the hat with +you?--yes, bring them, bring them," and they hurried on, fleeing +away from the monastery. Esther knew a short track across the hills +which in a little while joins the great main road to Jericho, that +descends down and down through the bare rolling hills of the +wilderness to the fair plain of the Jordan and the shores of the +Dead Sea. For the first few miles they sped on in silence with +clasped hands, the night wind rushing against their faces, and no +sound coming to their ears but the occasional whine of the hungry +hyenas, prowling over the stony, starlit hills. In the man's breast +swelled an exaltation beyond all words: it lifted him up so, that +his feet seemed flying over the rugged ground without touching it; +the night-wind filled his veins with fire: his brain seemed alight +and glowing. For years past the bare stone walls of his monk's cell +had given him pictures painted by his fevered fancy of such a walk +as this through starlit, open spaces--a walk to life and freedom. +For years his hot, caged feet had paced the stone cell floor, +aching to pass the threshold; and for the last month ever since +from amongst the olive-trees he had seen the fair Jewish girl pass +by, a new vision had come upon those white-washed walls to add its +torture to the rest. Evening after evening he had stolen out at +sunset to see her pass, as she came and went from the little +cluster of Jewish houses on the ridge beyond the monastery and +watched the sunlight play upon her brows and hair. Could this +thing, so divinely beautiful, be the creation of the devil to +destroy men's souls? His reason revolted against it. If so, the +warm sunlight and radiant sky and air, the flowers and the purple +hills, his weary eyes strained out to must be also the devil's +work, for all these things were akin, and the woman passing amongst +them was but the masterpiece made by the same hand. + +"Say," he had said wearily, one night, to a monk passing him like a +silent shadow on his way to his cell. "Is all the world the work of +the devil?" + +"Nay, brother, what blasphemy!" returned the other, startled beyond +measure. "It is all the work of God" and Nicholas had passed into +his cell well pleased. And the next evening he had called softly to +the masterpiece of the Creator, as she went by, and the girl, +startled and fearful at first, had spoken a few words out of sheer +pity for the hungry, lonely soul looking out so wistfully at her; +and then how soon had come other meetings, the plan to escape--that +final vision which had seemed to justify him,--and now the flight! + +"Will the boat be there! will they wait for us?" he asked eagerly, +as they walked swiftly on. + +"Yes, I heard the boat was coming over from the Jewish Colony +beyond the Dead Sea, and I sent word down it was to take me in it +when it left again," the girl replied, "We shall get down there +to-morrow evening; we will go to old Solomon's house; he will let +us stay with him one night, and in the morning we must get down to +the shore and the boat." + +Nicholas pressed her hand as they walked on. How wise she was, this +little Jewish girl! She had lived her short life in the world, and +knew her way about in it so well. And he, so much older, felt like +a child beside her, after all those long, deadening, numbing years +in the monastery. + +Five miles more of the white, stony road were traversed, winding in +and out, but always descending between the barren desolate hills of +the wilderness, and then Esther said with a little sob in her +voice: + +"We must stop here now and rest, I am so tired. I cannot go any +further to-night." + +"Tired?" he echoed wonderingly. Could he ever feel tired now? His +feet seemed borne on wings. But he stopped, and bending over her, +lifted and carried her tenderly from the starlit road to a large +rock jutting out from the hillside. Here, in the shadow on the +farther side, they lay down, and the girl fell at once into the +deep sleep of utter bodily fatigue. The man lay open-eyed clasping +her to him, his brain on fire with freedom, listening with joy to +the cries of the wandering wild animals amongst the hills. + +The following evening, late, they reached the plain. The wilderness +lay behind them, and in front, beyond the green darkness of the +trees, they knew the starlight was gleaming on the Dead Sea. The +heat down here was suffocating, and their weary feet moved on +slowly through the village--a collection of a few white flat-roofed +houses, which are all that now mark the spot where stood once the +rich, mighty city of Jericho. In the last house shone a light, and +Esther led Nicholas towards it. + +Solomon was waiting for them, and had prepared for them his best +upper room--a little narrow apartment, with windows facing towards +the sea--where supper was laid, and opening from this a tiny +sleeping chamber. A swinging lamp hung over the centre table, and +Solomon's younger brother waited on them. Esther, with the dust of +the road washed from her skin, looked very fair, sitting under the +light of the lamp, her eyes glowing with the mysterious fires of +love and joy, and the two Jews sat listening to her eagerly as she +talked to them, telling them the news of her family and friends in +Jerusalem. + +"If I could only go up to the city," sighed the younger man. "But I +cannot walk, and I have no horse," and he grew sullen and dejected +and said no more, while the elder continued to ask and be answered +a hundred questions about the life and doings of the city. + +That night, past midnight, when the whole plain of Jericho lay +wrapped in a deep hush, and not one light gleamed in the darkness +of the village, a carriage drawn by two foam-covered horses +thundered down the last steep descent of the road from Jerusalem +into the village, and dashed through it straight to Solomon's +dwelling. Esther, asleep in the upper room, with Nicholas' head +pillowed on her shoulder, heard the clatter of wheels and awoke +suddenly, all her body growing rigid with terror. + +"Nicholas, awake! they have followed us!" She sprang from the bed, +and opening the window noiselessly, looked out. The night was quite +dark, but by straining her eyes she could descry the form of a +covered carriage below, and two dark figures stood hammering on the +house-door. The sounds rang reverberating through the dwelling, and +disturbing the still, calm air without, laden with the scent of +myrtle and orange-flower. A window above opened, and the old Jew +looked out. + +"Who knocks?" he called. + +"Priests from Jerusalem, from the Monastery of the Holy Virgin. One +whom we seek is within; let us enter." Esther drew back into the +room, and saw Nicholas standing behind her, his face haggard with +despair. "Jehovah, then, is not with us." + +Esther pressed his hand. + +"Esther is with you," she murmured softly. "You shall not go back, +they shall not touch you. Give me your priest's clothing, and stay +here." + +Before he could answer she had snatched up the garments and was +gone, fastening the door behind her. Outside on the stairway she +met old Solomon, coming slowly down to answer the imperative +summons from below. + +"Delay all you can in admitting them," she whispered, then ran past +him, fleet of foot, up the stairs to the Jews' room--the door stood +open as Solomon had left it. She entered, and stood within in the +darkness. + +"Hiram," she called softly, "you wished to go up to Jerusalem. Now +is your opportunity. Get up, put on these things, and the priests +will take you back in their carriage." She heard the man rise and +bound to the floor. + +"Is that you, Esther? Have they sent from the monastery to take +Nicholas?" + +"Yes," returned Esther in an agonised voice. "But you will not let +them take him? See, Hiram, they cannot hurt you; they will not +recognise you, nor suspect you here in the darkness, in the dress +of Nicholas. You need not speak. They will hasten you into the +carriage. To-morrow when they discover you, it will be too late for +them to overtake us. We shall be gone, and _you_ they will not +want. They cannot put you in their monastery. They must release +you, and you--will be at the gates of Jerusalem." + +Her low voice, thrilled with her agony of fear and suspense: there +was the very soul of persuasion in it. As she pleaded in the +darkness, she heard the man breathing quickly, and shuffling his +feet on the floor. He was hesitating. He longed to go up to the +city, but this seemed a dangerous expedient. Yet it would serve +Esther, and she was very fair, and was of his own kindred. There +was a noise and clamour downstairs beneath them--the sound of the +slow unbarring of bolts, and angry voices without. Esther drew +nearer, and her voice grew sharp with fear: + +"Hiram, as they are pushing you to the carriage, I will throw +myself into your arms, and you shall kiss me your last farewell, as +if you were Nicholas." + +In the darkness she felt that the man stretched out his hand. + +"Give me the clothes; I will go." + +Esther threw them into his arms, and darted out, closing the door, +and hung over the stair-rail. There was no light, but she could +hear the heavy footsteps coming up. Nearer they came, and nearer, +stumbling, and Solomon's step behind, as he followed the priests, +grumbling and protesting. Now they were almost opposite the door of +the room where Nicholas crouched waiting. + +"He is not here! he is not here!" wailed out Esther's voice +suddenly from above, and the priests hearing her, rushed up the +stairs to where she stood, passing by, forgotten, the door of the +lower room. + +Rigid and tense she stood before the door as if guarding it, her +arms outstretched before it. The first priest pushed her roughly on +one side, the second opened the door, and beyond, dimly outlined +against the open window square, was visible the draped figure and +heavy hat of a priest. With a shout of triumph they darted forward, +and Esther gave a great cry of wild despair. The priests dragged +him out unresisting, and forced him down the stairs. No word came +from him. Solomon, leaning back against the wall to let them pass, +stretched out his hand to the weeping Esther; but she passed him, +crying and hurrying after her lover. Down in the passage the large +door stood wide, showing the waiting carriage in the dim starlight +of the sultry night. As they pushed him to the door, he suddenly +wrested himself free for an instant, and Esther rushed into his +arms. + +"Oh, Nicholas, Nicholas! Good-bye!" + +The priests seized her by the shoulder, wrenching her away, and one +hurled her with a fury of loathing back into the darkness of the +passage. Then they forced their prisoner forward, stumbling, +resisting, to the carriage. The door snapped to, the horses plunged +forward, and the carriage thundered away into the night. Esther +picked herself up from where she had fallen in the passage, and +bruised and trembling, but with a joyous smile, rushed up the +narrow stairway. + +"Solomon!" she said, whispering in the old Jew's ear, "Hiram has +gone in the place of Nicholas! Nicholas is safe here. Oh, help us +to get to the sea!" + +Solomon shook with laughter as he heard--for a Jew loves dearly a +clever ruse--and he stroked Esther's soft hair as she stood by him. + +"Light us a lamp, and let us get away to the shore, that we can +embark and be away on the water at dawn, before they discover it +and return," Then she passed by him and entered the room where +Nicholas awaited her. Solomon trimmed a lamp and a lantern for +them, and put up some bread and meat for their journey, his +shoulders shaking with inward chuckles as he did so. + +"Hiram a priest!" he repeated to himself; "that is a joke indeed, +and Esther, what a quick brain she has--a true daughter of Israel!" +and Esther was murmuring within to Nicholas: + +"Jehovah has saved us. Now let us hasten down to the sea." + +The next morning, when the dawn broke soft and rosy over the fair +plain of Jericho, the sea that is called the Dead Sea, yet seems, +in its glorious wealth of colour and sparkling brilliance to be +rather the emblem of Life, glowed and flashed like a huge sapphire +in the sun's rays, and at its calm edge, that meets the shore +without a ripple, swayed gently the ship of the pilgrims from the +Jewish Colony. + +Nicholas and Esther sat side by side watching the pilgrims' oars +dip quietly in perfect rhythm as they sang. And the song of praise +went up through the golden air, and echoed back to the sunny, +silent strand vanishing behind them. + + + + +V + + +Dawn was breaking over the desert. Steadily the triumphant rose +spread upward in the pale opalescent sky, and broad waves of light +rippled slowly over the wide level plain. The little keen breeze of +the morning, the herald of the dawn that runs ever in front of its +chariot, stirred the branches of the palm trees by the Nile, and +played a moment idly with the flap of a tent door before it passed +onward. Here, some two miles away from cool Assouan, lying out in +the desert, was the Bishareen encampment, and the last small tent +of the long line had its door open, and the flap of the awning +loose, with which the morning wind stopped to play. + +Within, seated cross-legged on the scarlet rug and sheepskin which +formed their bed, were two girls braiding their hair before a tiny +square of glass, which each in turn held up for the other. + +"How cold the morning is! How I hate to hear the wind shake the +door flaps," one said and shivered. + +"Doolga, don't; you are holding the glass all crooked; I cannot see +myself. Why should you feel cold this morning of all others, when +Sheik Ilbrahim dar Awaz is coming to claim you?" returned the +other, and she laughed softly, with her slim fingers busy trying to +bind up and restrain her dusky cloud of hair. + +How lovely she was, this young Bishareen, who had looked on the +yearly fall of the Nile but fifteen times--lovely as the tall +slender palm of the oasis, or the gold light on the river at +sunset. Tall and straight, with the stately carriage and proud head +of her race; smooth and supple, with every limb faultlessly moulded +under the clear, lustrous skin. + +"Silka, Silka! I cannot marry the Sheik. I am in terror of him. +Help me, save me!" + +The little glass fell on the blanket between them. In the warm rose +glow now filling the tent, Doolga's face was ashen-coloured. +Awe-struck and startled Silka gazed wide-eyed upon her. For an +instant the two girls sat staring in silence into each other's +eyes. So much alike they were that one face seemed the reflection +of the other, only there was a bloom, a light, a sweetness on +Silka's that was missing in the other. + +"Why?" she breathed after that first startled silence, "what is the +matter, Doolga? Tell me; tell me everything." + +She drew nearer her sister, and put one arm round her. The pink +light from without, striking through the tent canvas, touched her +face, showing its delicately-cut, exquisite features and the tender +love filling the eyes. + +"I hate the Sheik!" sobbed Doolga, putting down her head on the +other's soft bare shoulder; "I don't want him. I love _him_!" + +And Silka felt that everything indeed was told. The incoherent, +inexplicable words were clear enough to her. She trembled all over, +and the two girls clung together in the little tent, while the +noise of a large encampment awakening grew about them outside. + +Suddenly Doolga grew calm; she lifted her face, and Silka saw it +was grey, with great lines of anguish cut in it, and her heart +seemed to contract with pain, for she loved Doolga better than +anything she knew in the world, and Doolga's suffering was her +suffering. + +"I thought, father thought you would be glad to marry the Sheik," +she faltered. + +"I cannot. I will throw myself into the Nile rather; Silka, help +me!" + +"How can I?" + +"_You_ marry the Sheik!" Doolga's eyes were alight with flame. +Something of the tiger's glare shone in them. She bent forward and +seized the other girl's wrists in a feverish grip. The clasp hurt +and burnt like fire. Silka drew back instinctively, paling with +surprise. + +"I marry the Sheik?" she repeated, "but--" + +"Yes, you _must_! Oh, Silka, you have always loved me: save me now. +I cannot. It will be death to me. I love--I love--" she hesitated; +then added, "so much. You love no one. Why not then the Sheik? Do +this for me. I will think of you, bless you always. Save me from +death; save me from the Nile!" + +The burning words, uttered low, in that strange, strained voice she +hardly recognised, fell upon Silka like drops of molten lead. Her +sister seemed mad: her eyes started forward from her livid face: +her clasp on Silka's wrists gripped like iron. Silka's heart was +overwhelmed with pity and distress. + +"How can I?" she murmured back, bewildered by the sudden revelation +of misery in the other--this other that had grown up with her, +played with her, slept with her side by side through the soft, hot +nights when they had lain counting the stars through a chink in the +tent. Side by side their bodies had nestled together, and side by +side their hearts had always been. + +"You have but to unveil your face to the Sheik," returned the other +quickly, eagerly, almost furiously, "and he will take you instead +of me. Think, Silka! the head of the tribe, fifty camels, a +thousand goats--" She stopped in her eager outpour of persuasion. +Silka was looking at her straight from under her dark, level brows, +her lips curled in a sorrowful disdain. + +"Have his riches any weight with you, Doolga? Why do you offer them +to me?" she said proudly. + +"Because you are free: you do not love," impetuously returned the +other with glib, persistent vehemence. "I would marry the Sheik, I +would prize his flocks, his riches; but I love--I love--I cannot!" + +"Whom do you love so much?" replied Silka sadly. "Why have you not +told me? Who is he?" + +The girls were seated on the bed in one corner of the tent close +beside its stretched canvas wall. There was a little eyelet, a +square hole with a flap buttoned down over it, on a level with +their heads. At Silka's question Doolga turned to the canvas, and, +with an impatient movement, tore up the flap and looked out. The +plain was bathed in gold: above, the pure, pink glow still hung in +the limpid sky. The encampment was astir. The tents were open, and +little cooking fires, sending up their spirals of blue smoke were +dotted over the sand. At a few paces' distance from the main row of +tents, the camels, lying down, made a velvet-like patch of shade on +the gleaming gold of the sand, and herds of white goats stood near, +their silky coats flashing in the morning sunlight. Silka looked +out, too, over her sister's shoulder. She saw the burnished gold of +the plain and the luminous sky, and between these two a figure +that stood by a low brown tent, with the sunlight falling full on +its noble brow and the straight profile turned towards them. Doolga +wrung Silka's hand, that she still clutched, as they knelt side by +side on the sheepskin looking through the eyelet. + +"That is he!" she said, and Silka's lips parted suddenly in a +little scream of pain. + +"What is the matter?" asked Doolga roughly, drawing her back from +the aperture, and letting the flap fall. + +"You hurt me," replied Silka. "Is that the one you love?" Her voice +sounded tremulous: her eyes, fixed on Doolga, seemed to widen with +increasing pain. + +"Yes, that is he; that is Melun," answered Doolga softly. "Is he +not handsome, wonderful? Why do you stare so? Might not any girl +love him?" + +A little smile played round Silka's lips. + +"Yes, indeed, any girl might love him," she answered. + +"But not as I do--no, never! Oh, Silka, I cannot tell you how I +love him. More than the Nile, more than the stars, more than we +have ever loved each other! I have met him often when I went to +draw water, and sometimes we have stayed together in the +palm-grove. I was so happy till father sold me to the Sheik; and +now I must part from Melun for ever! Do not make me, dear, darling +Silka; do not send me to the Nile!" She spoke with increasing +excitement, with passionate intensity. She was close to Silka, and +she laid one arm softly round her neck and put her face close to +hers. Such a beautiful oval face it was!--the face that Silka +loved: as she looked at it, her heart melted within her. + +"See, dearest Silka," continued the other coaxingly, "you have +nothing to do but to unveil before the Sheik; you are just like me, +only a thousand times lovelier. He will not want me then, but you. +You can say to our father: As I am fairer than my sister, he will +give you two more camels. Father will be pleased with the camels, +and I shall be left free to marry Melun." + +"But suppose I don't want to marry the Sheik either," said Silka, +slowly stroking the curls of the sheepskin as she looked down upon +it. + +"But why should you not? he has flocks and herds; he will give you +necklets and bracelets, and a camel to ride, and take you to the +oasis? Why should you mind?" + +"It is late, Doolga. Father will be returning soon. Go, fill your +urns at the well." + +"But will you promise--?" + +"I can promise nothing yet. Go, go, leave me, you must let me think +a little." + +Doolga got up well satisfied. She knew Silka had never refused her +anything since they had first played as babies together in the +sand. Silka loved her. Silka had never denied her anything. + +She took her large earthenware jar, poised it on her shoulder, and +went out of the tent into the hot light. Silka lay on the sheepskin +where her sister had left her, and turned her face to it, shaken +with a storm of feeling that convulsed her slender body from head +to foot. She heard none of the cheerful sounds of life stirring +round the tent; she heard only Doolga's threat of the Nile, her +passionate pleading for help. Her face was buried in the sheepskin, +yet she saw plainly in the wall of darkness before her eyeballs +the figure of the Bishareen standing out against the pink light of +the morning sky. So it was Melun that Doolga loved! And to Melun +all her own passionate impulsive heart had been given through her +eyes. Had she not, morning after morning, gazed out through the +square eyelet to catch a glimpse of him as he came from his tent, +dressed in his snowy white linen tunic, and with countless strings +of coloured beads twisted round the firm column of his throat and +hanging from his arms? Melun, the necklace-seller of Assouan! +Melun, that the foreign tourists stopped to gaze after, as he +walked with slow and stately steps beneath the lebek trees on the +"boulvard" by the Nile. Young and straight and slender, with a +beautiful face and form, he never offered his wares for sale. He +simply stood and looked at the tourists, and they came and bought +largely. They came up to him with curious eyes to chaffer for his +blue-glass beads, and stare at his smooth, perfectly-moulded arms +and throat, at the wonderfully straight features, and the lofty +carriage of his head, at the thick hair, like fine, black wool, +that waved above his forehead and clustered round the nape of his +neck, interwoven with his brilliant blue beads. Ah! how she loved +Melun! how she had dreamed of the day when her elder sister, +happily married, she herself could go to her father and say, "Let +Melun, the necklace-seller, come to the tent and see my face." And +now, not for him, but for the old hard-visaged Sheik, she was asked +to unveil. "I cannot do it; no, I cannot," she muttered to herself, +and the thought of Melun came to her softly. "I have but to look at +him, and he must love me; he is mine." Did not her mirror tell her +this each morning? Had not her sister but now said the same? She +smiled to herself, and balm seemed poured through her. Then there +came another thought piercing her like a dagger. Melun is not mine, +but hers. She loves him; he loves her. They have met in the +palm-grove. Never, never, could she unveil for him now. He must +never see her. Though he loved her a thousand times, yet would +she never take him from Doolga. Doolga, bright, graceful, and +beautiful, the light of her eyes, the joy of the tent! could she +bear to see her brought through the door cold, motionless, +lifeless, killed by the embrace of the Nile? + +When Doolga returned with the flush of warmth on her cheek and the +jar full of shimmering water on her shoulder, Silka was sitting +upright on the bed with dry, wide eyes. One glance at her told +Doolga that she herself was free, that the other would take up her +burden and bear it for her. She crossed over with a quick beautiful +movement, lithe, free, untamed. + +"Darling Silka, you will consent? you will promise?" + +"Do you meet him often in the palm-grove?" returned Silka; it was +now her eyes that were full of flame as she met her sister's. + +"Why--Melun? Yes, whenever it was possible. To-night there will be +no moon; I was going, but why should you ask?" She bent forward +quickly, eagerly, some faint suspicion stirring in her. + +"If I do this for you--if I save you--if I show myself to the +Sheik, then you must let me go to the palm-grove to-night." + +Doolga fell back from her, surprise and terror and horror mingling +in her face. She clasped her small, soft hands together and wrung +them. + +"Oh, Silka! you know, if he sees you, he will not look at me again; +he will not care." + +Silka smiled a slow, painful smile. + +"Do you not see?" she said in a whisper. "I shall go as you. Who +will know it is not you? Not Melun. He will be expecting you! he +has never seen me. I will not betray myself nor you, but this is my +condition. To-morrow I go in your stead to the Sheik; to-night, I +go in your stead to Melun." + +Doolga stared at her, barely comprehending. + +"But why--why?" she stammered in return. + +"I go to the Sheik in your stead because I love you, and to Melun +in your stead because I love him," replied Silka firmly. + +There was a smile in her eyes, but her lips were pale, compressed, +and sad. Doolga gazed at her in silence, both hands clasped tightly +now over her swelling breast. Astonishment, gratitude, mistrust, +and jealousy were all struggling together within it for mastery. + +"You love Melun too?" she said at last. "Then why do you not take +him? One glance from you and he is yours." + +"He was yours first," answered Silka miserably. "I cannot take him +from you." + +"And you will marry the Sheik to save me?" + +"Yes," replied Silka. + +Then Doolga fell on her knees and thanked Silka and kissed her, and +Doolga's kisses were very sweet, and while those lips pressed hers +Silka forgot everything else in the world. At last Doolga said in a +sudden recrudescence of jealousy: + +"In the grove to-night you will not--" and the rest was whispered. + +"No," answered Silka; "I am the bride of the Sheik. You need fear +nothing. But I must see Melun; all my life long I shall feed on +your happiness. There will be nothing else for me. I shall live on +it. To do this I must have a vision of it before I go, and it will +stay by me for ever." + +That afternoon the tent was gay with unrolled silks and scarlet +rugs, and coffee stood out in little porcelain cups upon the floor, +for the Sheik Ilbrahim had come to the final parley for his bride. +He sat before the coffee-cups on a black goat-skin, the pipe of +honour placed beside him. A grave, quiet man, with kind eyes, but +already far on in the winter of life. Opposite him sat his host, +the owner of the tent and father of the girls. Shrewd-eyed, +keen-faced, quietly he did his bargaining. Earlier in the day the +elder girl had laid the plan before him: herself for Melun, the +necklace-seller of Assouan, who owned neither camels nor goats, but +would pay well in silver straight from the hands of the tourists; +her younger sister for the Sheik, who would give doubtless two more +camels for her wonderful beauty. The father listened placidly. It +was not a bad bargain. + +"But," he answered finally, "why should you not go to the Sheik now +for two camels and by and by another will come for your sister and +give four camels. Then shall I have had six for the two of you." + +"But she may die," objected the ready Doolga, the keen-witted +daughter of her father. "Better secure the camels now, father." + +"True, she may die, and the bargain be lost," mused the father, +and at last he spread out his hands with a gesture of conclusion. + +"It is for the Sheik to decide," he said merely, and Doolga was +content. She knew beforehand what the Sheik would decide when he +saw her sister. Now the two girls sat clasped in each other's arms +behind a curtain hung across a corner of the tent, and waited +silently till they should be summoned. + +"If she be fairer than your daughter Doolga," they heard the Sheik +say good-humouredly, "she must be fair indeed, and worth four +camels. Let me see her." + +At those words Silka rose and stepped from behind the little +curtain. With timid steps she came forward to the centre of the +tent. A linen tunic clasped round the base of her throat fell +almost to her ankles, caught lightly in at the waist by a scarlet +cord; loose sleeves falling from the shoulder half-concealed her +rounded arms; but her lovely face, with its arching brows and +liquid eyes, looked out unveiled from her frame of cloudy hair, and +drew the Sheik's heart towards her. Wrapt in the enthusiasm of the +holiest of all loves, that of sister for sister, tense with the +ardour of her sacrifice, a light shone out from the tender soul +within that fired all her beauty, making it burn like the sun, and +intoxicate like wine. + +Her father eyed her, and wished he had asked five camels. + +The Sheik stretched out his right hand towards her. + +"Are you pleased to come, my daughter, to the oasis of roses with +me?" + +"My lord beholds his slave," answered Silka, and her eyes were full +of light, and her lips were curved in smiles. + +"My camels, four of the best, will find their stable behind your +tent to-night," said the Sheik to her father, and he filled the cup +he had drunk from and handed it to the girl. Silka raised it to her +lips. + +"Does it please my lord that he fetch me to-morrow, and leave me in +my father's tent to-night?" + +The Sheik laughed good-naturedly, his eyes fixed on the pleading, +youthful face. + +"It pleases me not to leave you; but if you ask me, little one, I +will not refuse. Let it be so." + +As he spoke Silka drained the coffee-cup he had given her, and by +so doing bound herself to him henceforward. + +There was no moon that night; it was dark with the darkness of the +desert, and the splendour of its million stars. As Silka came +softly from the tent she looked upwards; the wild heaving of her +bosom seemed repeated in that restless, pulsing light above. The +soft breath of the desert came to her; it whispered of Melun +waiting for her in the palm-grove. How happy she was! This was +life: one night of life was hers--no more. With the dawn came the +end. This was her first--her last--night of life, but how exquisite +it was! The voice of the desert sang in her ears, the light soft +sand caressed her flying feet. Within bounded her heart, buoyant +with leaping joy. Never had she realised the strength of her swift, +straight ankles--never till now the free, joyous power in her +supple limbs. + +Before her rose the palm-grove, distinct in all its beauty of +feathery-topped trees, against the gorgeous starlit sky. By her +side gleamed now the line of the river, silver in the starlight; +smooth and lovely, studded with its fierce black rocks, flanked by +its orange sand, and here and there, on its edge in the radiant +darkness, rose a lofty palm lifting its swaying branches towards +the jewelled sky. Silka looked at the river curiously. Now she was +keenly alive; life was sharp and alert in every fibre, but it was +the last. This night of life was also a night of good-byes. +To-morrow she would look on the river again, but she would be dead +then--dead to joy and to love; it would only be Doolga who would be +living rich in both these gifts--gifts given by her. The thought +ran through her with a tumultuous gladness. + +She entered the palm-grove and went straight to the tree that +Doolga had told her of, a withered palm. A figure sat at the foot +of the tree. The starlight gleamed on its white clothing. Silka's +feet stopped mechanically as she saw him; her heart beat so that +she could scarcely breathe; but he had caught sight of her, and +sprang to his feet and came towards her. How wonderful he was with +his fine head set on that long, firm throat, and how sweet the face +when his beautiful mouth broke into smiles as he saw her! + +"Doolga!" he exclaimed, and then paused. She heard the little note +of wonder, of joy, in his voice, as she looked up at him in the +soft starlight, filtered through the palms. She was close to him, +and his voice, his presence was a new wonder to her. + +"You are lovelier to-night than ever before. You have a new beauty, +what is it?" and he stretched out his arms passionately to her and +enfolded her in them close to his breast and kissed her. Then in +one moment did the rose of life, that unfolds slowly for most +mortals petal by petal, bloom suddenly for her whole and complete, +and fill her with its wild fragrance, overwhelming her senses. The +happiness of a hundred lives was compressed into that one perfect +moment when his lips touched hers, and she saw his face hang over +hers in the starlight, blazing with the fires of love. + +"This then is life," she thought, as she put her arms round his +neck. "This is what I am giving to Doolga." + +"Am I really more beautiful to-night than I have been?" she asked +presently, as they sat crouched close side by side at the foot of +the palm, looking towards the silver river. + +"A thousand times!" he answered passionately. "I have never loved +you, never seen you as I do to-night." + +"Then you must always remember me as you see me now. However Doolga +looks to you in the future, always remember this night, and how you +loved her then." + +And he took her more closely into his arms, and pressed kisses on +her eyes, and told her in low murmured words of the tent he was +preparing for her, pitched where the cool breeze from the Nile +would reach them, and of the coming sunsets when she would sit +awaiting his return in the doorway, and of the still radiant hours +of the desert night which would pass over them full of delirious +joys; and the girl listened and lived out her life in those moments +against his heart. And ever as she listened, the thought of the +Sheik and his withered arms rose before her. Still it was Doolga's +future she looked into, the secrets of Doolga's happiness she +learned. As often as he murmured, "Doolga!" and caressed her, a +wave of joy passed through her. + +Three hours before the dawn they parted, and with slow, sad steps +she returned to her father's tent. Her strength was spent. Life +and she had finally separated. Entering the tent with noiseless +feet, no sound disturbed the sleeping chief, and she crept to where +her sister sat up, wild-eyed and sleepless, on the bed. + +"This he gave to Doolga," she said, with her lips pressed to +Doolga's ear, and passed over her head a necklace of faultless +beads of jade. + + * * * * * + +The following day, when the last flare of the sunset lit up the sky +with flame, and the delicate branches of the palms of the oasis +showed before them tipped with gold, the Sheik Ilbrahim bent over +his bride sitting before him on the camel, decked out with gold +ornaments in her hair. He saw her smiling, and a glory that was not +of the sunset on her face. + +"Of what is my beloved one thinking?" he asked her. + +She looked up, but she did not see his face above her. She saw only +the tent where the wind from the Nile could come, and Doolga within +radiant with the joy she had given her. + +"Of what should your slave be thinking, lord," she answered, "but +love and happiness?" + + + + +VI + + +It was evening. A sky of purest emerald, luminous, transparent, and +divinely calm, stretched over the city of Damascus, that lies in +its white glory, wrapped round by its mantle of foliage, in the +heart of the burning desert--unhurt, cool, invulnerable in the jaws +of the all-devouring desert sand. In the East, with the first cool +breath of evening comes a spirit of rejoicing: the heat and burden +of the day are over, and there is one hour of pure delight before +the darkness. This hour had come to Damascus: the roses lifted +their heads in the garden, the birds burst into joyous floods of +song, and the trees waved and spread their branches to the little +breeze that came rippling through the crystal air. + +Almost on the confines of the city, where the belt of protecting +verdure grows thin and the gaunt face of the desert presses against +the city walls, rose the square, white dwelling of Ahmed Ali, and +his garden was the largest and most beautiful of the city. High +white walls enclosed it on every side, and from the broad, +travelled highway that ran beside it the dusty and wearied wayfarer +often lifted his eyes to the profusion of gay roses, the syringa, +and star-eyed jasmine that tumbled jubilantly over the edge, and +hung their scented wreaths far above his head. The tinkling of a +fountain could be heard within, and the mad rapture of song from +the birds in the evening, when the scent of the orange blossom +stole softly out on the radiant golden air. On the other side of +the garden was a grove of orange-trees. The rich, glossy, green +foliage rose in dark masses above the high wall, and some +inquisitive, encroaching boughs stretched over and occasionally +dropped their golden fruit into Ahmed's garden. On the inside of +the old, moss-grown wall were numerous buttresses, and in these +angles and corners, sheltered from any breeze, the roses and the +small fruit-trees fairly rioted together, blending their masses of +pink and white bloom. + +On this evening, when the sky shone like one sheet of purest +mother-of-pearl, green and rose and faint purple, the garden was +very still; the only sound was the murmur of the falling water, the +coo of some white doves in a pear-tree, and a very light step +pacing on the tiny narrow path that wound its way round the whole +garden amongst the rose-bushes and lemon-trees. + +Dilama, the youngest of the ladies of the harem, was walking in the +garden with her white veil thrown back and a smile on her small, +red, curling lips. She stooped here and there to gather a flower +whenever a bud or blossom of particular beauty caught her eye, and +fastened now one against her thick brown hair, and now one or two +upon the rich-embroidered muslin that covered the upper part of her +bosom. She was intensely happy: in the spring at Damascus, at +seventeen and in love, who would not be happy? The fires of youth +and love and joy burned in her flesh and danced in her veins and +shone in her eyes, and she sang and smiled to herself as she +gathered the flowers. She was a Druze woman, and gifted with the +wonderful beauty that Nature has showered on the women of Syria. +Skins that the most perfect Saxon skin of milk and rose can +scarcely rival are wedded to eyes of Eastern midnight and brown +tresses filled with shining lights of red and gold. She had been +born in the fierce, barren mountains lying behind Beirut, and at +eight years old had drifted--part of the spoils of a raid--into the +keeping of Ahmed Ali, the richest landowner and merchant of +Damascus. He was a Turk, of pure Turkish blood, and with the large, +generous heart and the kindly nature of the Turk. All the life that +owed him allegiance, that was supported by his hand, was happy and +well cared for--from the magnificent black horses, ignorant of whip +and spur, that filled his stables, and the dogs that lay peacefully +about in his palace, to the beauties of the harem, who tripped +about gaily singing and laughing in their cool halls and shaded +garden. Where the Turk rules there is usually peace, for his nature +is pacific, and in the palace of Ahmed there was joy and peace and +love and pleasure in abundance. There were seven ladies of the +harem, including Dilama, and six of these were happy wives of +Ahmed. Each had one or more sons, handsome, large-eyed, sedate +little Mohammedans, who were being trained by Turkish mothers in +all sorts of gentle ways and manners--in thought and care for +others, in courtesy and kindness; and who were very different in +their childish work and play from the brawling, selfish, cruel +little monsters that European children of the same age mostly are. +But Dilama was not yet Ahmed's wife; she loved him most truly and +deeply as an affectionate daughter. For who could not love Ahmed? +There was a charm in his stately beauty of face and figure, in the +kind musical voice, in the eyes so large and dark and gentle, that +was irresistible. But to Dilama he was something far above her: her +king, her lord indeed, for whom she would lay down life itself +without question, but not the man to whom her ardent simple nature +had turned for love. Ahmed had not sought her. When first she came +to his palace she had been too young except for him to treat as +a pretty child, and the relationship of father and daughter +then established had never yet been broken in upon. And the +light-hearted, sunny-natured Druze girl had taken life just as she +found it, regarding herself as Ahmed's daughter, and rejoicing in +her home of love and beauty she ceased to remember that one day he +would inevitably claim her as his wife, and that that day must be +the beginning or the end of happiness just as she prepared for it. +But she did not prepare for it, she ignored it: flitting like some +golden butterfly through the pleasant hours, and growing fairer +every day, so that the harem women looked at her with a little +sinking of the heart yet no ill-will, and said amongst themselves, +"Surely Ahmed must choose her soon." But Ahmed loved at that time +with his whole soul a Turkish woman, and she was to give him +shortly a second child, and for fear of disturbing her peace of +mind Ahmed remained in the Selamlik, and would not visit his other +wives, nor send for Dilama, though his eyes, like the others, noted +her growing beauty day by day. + +"I will wait in patience," he thought, looking out one morning at +sunrise, and watching Dilama playing with the white doves on the +basin edge of the fountain. "I will wait till Buldoula is well and +strong again. She would fret now, and think I was forgetting her in +a new love if I call Dilama to me yet. I will wait till her second +son is born, and then in her joy and pride she will not be jealous +of the new wife." + +So he waited, but in the game of love he that waits is ever the +loser. That night, when the moon was rising over the white and deep +green of Damascus, Dilama walked, humming to herself, in the +garden, full of a great leaping desire, born of her youth and fine +health and the breath of the May night, to love and be loved. +Suddenly, when she came to the corner, under the drooping boughs of +the grove without the garden, an orange fell, and, just escaping +her head struck her heavily on her bosom. With a great shock she +stood still, looking up, and there, on the summit of the high wall, +amid the green boughs, was a man sitting, leaning over down towards +her, with fiery eyes looking upon her from under a dark green +turban. + +"It is death to be here," she whispered, her face pallid in the +moonlight, "do not stay;" yet her whole being leapt up with hope +that he would disobey. The man laughed softly. + +"It is life to look on you," he said merely, and to her terrified +joy and horrified delight he slid down between the lemon-trees and +the wall, and stood before her in the angle it made, where two +buttresses jutting forward hid him from all view unless one stood +directly opposite. + +Dilama shook from head to foot; in one fierce, sweeping rush, +love passed over and through her as she stood staring with wild +dilated eyes on the form before her. Tall, tall as Ahmed, with +all the grace and strength of youth, lithe and supple, with a +straight-lined, dark-browed face above a stately throat, and dark +kindling eyes, wells of living fire that called all her soul and +heart and womanhood into life. + +"I have often watched you walking in the garden," he murmured, +gently taking in his, one nerveless hand. "I come from your village +in the hills, where you were taken from long ago. I am a Druze," +and he threw his head higher, as the stag of the forest throws his +at the first note of the challenge. Dilama knew well that he was +of her own people. Infant memories, instinctive, implanted +consciousness told her this without the aid of Druze clothing, or +the short, gay dagger thrust into his waist-sash. + +"I think you are not yet the wife of Ahmed Ali?" he went on, as +she simply trembled in silence, wave after wave of emotion passing +through her, striking her heart and choking her voice. "Tell me?" + +Dilama shook her head, and a triumphant smile curved the handsome +lips before her. + +"I knew it; you are mine," he said, in reply, and, bending over her +as she stood shrinking, on the verge of fainting, between terror +and wonder and joy, he kissed her on the lips, not roughly--even +gently--but with such a fire of life on his that it seemed to the +girl, in the destruction of all her usual feelings, in the havoc of +the new ones called in their place, that the actual moment of +dissolution had come. + +That had been some three weeks ago, and now, on this soft, pearly +evening, she was waiting eagerly for the sky to deepen, and the +light of the stars to sharpen, and the orange to fall over the +wall. For the Druze had come many times, and no one had discovered +the lovers, screened by masses of roses in the buttress-sheltered +corner of the wall. In fact, for the last weeks no one had had time +or thought for anything but Buldoula, who lay sick within the +palace walls, and attendants waited anxiously or ran hither and +thither on various errands, and Ahmed was in the depths of anxiety; +and no one thought about Dilama or paid any attention to her, and +she was radiantly happy and self-engrossed, and came and went +between the garden and her own little chamber as she listed, +undisturbed. And this evening, as usual, she slipped unobserved +amongst the roses into the corner of the buttressed wall. A moment +after the boughs overhead parted, and the lithe Druze dropped down +noiselessly beside her. She put her gold braceleted arms round his +strong brown neck, and pressed her silken-covered bosom hard +against his rough cotton tunic. A great rush of rosy light flooded +all the sky for some minutes, then began to pale softly before the +approach of the lustrous purple dark. + +In the palace a light behind one of the mushrabeared windows was +extinguished; there was the sound of the scurry of feet, and then a +long wail came out from the building, rending the pink-hued +twilight. + +"Buldoula is dead!" remarked Dilama simply, as the lovers crouched +together between the wall and the roses. It meant nothing to her, +enclosed in the happy warmth of her lover's arms; death had no +meaning for her yet, hardly seventeen years' journey distant from +birth, and full of all the sap and great leaping fires of life. +Death was something so far away, so impossible to realise. It was +but a word to her--a casket enclosing nothing. Yet the death of +Buldoula was the embryo event in the womb of time from which was to +develop the whole tragedy of her own life. + +"Buldoula is dead," she said again, carelessly, her rose-tipped +fingers smoothing the black sweeping arch of the man's brows. +"Perhaps her son is dead also. Ahmed will be very grieved--she was +going to bear her second son." + +"Little dove! I must take you away to the mountains soon," said the +Druze, clasping her tighter to him. "Soon," he muttered again, +stooping down to look under the rose-boughs to the white-faced +house, now, with all its screened windows, dark. His words seemed +irrelevant, yet they were not. He had a keen prescience that the +death of the favourite of the harem might influence very quickly +Dilama's fate. + +"Why not take me now, Murad? I want to see the mountains," and she +laid her little head, crowned by its masses of brown-gold hair, on +his warm breast. + +"The caravan does not start for two weeks more," he answered +thoughtfully. "We must wait for it. It would be madness to try to +escape alone. We should be seen, noted, and tracked down. Think how +Ahmed will look for his treasure when he finds it stolen! But if +you are hidden in a bale of goods on a camel in the caravan, who +will suspect, who will know that the Druze has taken you? The whole +caravan of Druzes cannot be stopped because Ahmed has lost a wife! +No, in the caravan, with all the rest, we are safe. There is no +other way." + +There was silence while the twilight deepened in the garden, and +the stars began to show above like flashing swords in the sky. In +the languor of love that knows no fear and has no cares, that +opiate of the soul, Dilama lay in his arms and sought his lips and +eyes, and asked no more about caravans and journeys and mountains, +drugged and heavy with love. In an hour when all was velvet +blackness beneath the wall, they kissed farewell. He scaled the +crumbling bricks, and regained the sheltering orange grove, and she +walked slowly back, drawing smooth her filmy veil, towards the +darkened palace. + +Five days later at noontime, as Dilama was sitting in the garden +playing with the tame white doves by the fountain, one of the black +female slaves approached her. Dilama looked up questioningly, +holding a dove to her bosom. + +"The lord is sorrowing within for his dead wife and dead son. He +has sent for you; go in, and lead him away from grief," and the +woman smiled and prostrated herself before Dilama, who shrank +instinctively away like a frightened child. But there is only one +law and one will in the harem, and she rose obediently, letting the +dove go, and stood ready to follow the slave. That meaning smile on +the woman's face filled her with an intuitive, instinctive, +undefined fear, and at the same instant there rushed over her the +realisation of the great happiness that same smile would have +brought her had there been no Murad, had she fled from that +rose-filled corner on that first evening--had she, in a word, +_waited_! This summons to the presence of their lord is what so +many of the harem slaves pine and long for through weary months, +and sometimes years. It came now to her, and it meant nothing but +vague fear and dread. She followed the slave with unelastic steps, +and her brain full of heavy thoughts; they passed the women's +apartments and went on to the Selamlik and to the room of Ahmed, +that looked out with unscreened windows into the cool, deep green +of the garden. The slave drew back at the door, holding a curtain +aside for the girl to enter. She went forward, the curtain fell +behind her, and she was alone with Ahmed. + +He was sitting opposite on a low divan or couch, clothed from head +to foot in a deep blue robe, and with a turban of the same colour +twisted above his level brows--a kingly, majestic figure, and the +girl's heart beat and her eyelids fell as she crept slowly over the +floor towards him. At his feet she sank to her knees, and would +have put her forehead to the ground, but Ahmed bent forward, and +clasping both her arms lifted her on to the couch beside him. + +"And you are the Druze child, Dilama?" he said gently, and leaning +a little back from her, surveyed her intently with dark lustrous +eyes. The girl felt swooning with terror; before his gaze her very +flesh seemed dissolving. It seemed as if her heart, her brain, with +the image of Murad stamped on them, would be laid bare to those +brilliant, searching eyes. What would he not know, suspect, find +out? What would he ask? demand of her? She could not ask herself. +Was this to be the end of his paternal relationship to her? the +beginning of a new one? She dared not lift her eyes lest he should +see their terror; the blood burnt in the surface of all her fair +skin, as if red-hot irons were pressed to it. And Ahmed, gazing +upon her with the pure noonday light, softened by the leafy screen +without pouring over her, drank in her fair Syrian beauty with +delight. The pale, rose-hued silken clothing she wore harmonised +with the ivory and rose of her round arms and throat and cheeks, +and threw up the masses of dark hair that fell beneath her veil to +her slender waist. Ahmed very gently unbound the snowy garment from +her head and stroked her hair lightly, watching the gold gleams in +its ripples as his hand passed over them. He saw her dismay, +confusion, even her terror, and noticed the quiver of her hands and +the irregular leap of her bosom, but these did not dismay him. He +was accustomed to be beloved even as he loved, and the women of the +harem who came to him in fear left him with happy confidence. He +affected now not to see her embarrassment, thinking it to be only +that, and said quietly, "And you have been happy, Dilama, in my +house?" The girl felt she must speak, though her throat seemed +closed and her tongue nerveless. + +"Very happy," she faltered at last in a whisper. + +"But you have been lonely, perhaps?" he asked. "Have the roses and +doves in the garden been companions enough for you? Have you not +been too much alone?" + +In the heavy load of apprehension of intangible fear and horror +that seemed stifling her, a madness of longing came over the girl +to be free from her guilty secret, to have never known Murad. Now +she could have looked up fearless, full of expectant joy! She could +have loved this man; she knew it, now that she felt his love +approaching her: hope was dying within her that ever again would he +regard her simply as his daughter. She knew those tones of the +voice, she had heard them from Murad in the garden, but here the +voice was infinitely more refined, the sound of it exquisitely +musical; and now, that love for her was in it, it told her a new +secret, that she could have given love for love. She knew, though +her eyelids were down, how beautiful the face was that bent over +her: the straight, severe lines of it, the magnificent eyes and +brows burnt through her lids. Ah, why had he waited so long, or she +not waited longer? + +Full of intolerable, irrepressible pain, she looked up at last +suddenly. + +"Why did not my lord come into the garden, to the roses and doves +and--me?" she asked falteringly, her gaze held now irresistibly by +the dark orbs above her. Then, afraid of her own temerity, she +became white as death under his gaze. + +But Ahmed was rather pleased by this first connected speech she +had made in the interview. It sounded to him like the tender +reproach of an amorous, expectant maiden, waiting eagerly for her +love, too long delayed. The under-meaning, the terrible regret for +irrevocable ill, naturally escaped him. He smiled, and put his arm +round her shoulders. "Well, it is not too late," he said, bending +over her. But the girl shrank from his arm, and he realised it +instantly. He was aware directly that there was some feeling in her +not quite fathomed nor understood. It puzzled him. He was far too +deep a thinker, far too refined a nature to treat his women as +inanimate toys to be used for his amusement, either with or without +their consent, as the chance might be. He knew them to be, and +treated them as, individual souls, with right of will and desire +equal to his own, and was too proud to accept the gift of the body +unless he had first conquered the will. But usually there was no +difficulty. Nature had gifted Ahmed with all the best treasures in +her jewel-box; beauty of face and form, strength and grace, charm +of voice and presence--everything needed to ensnare and delight +the senses, and he was accustomed to be loved, passionately adored, +and worshipped. He was naturally a connoisseur in such matters, and +knew well and easily the truth or dissembling in them. But here +there was neither: the girl shrank from him instinctively, and +seemed possessed by nothing but dumb, helpless fear that was +distressing to him. Yet not all distressing, for even in the best +of male natures there always remains some of the instinctive desire +of conquest, the delight in opposition, if not too prolonged, the +love of battle, the hope of victory; and to Ahmed, the invariably +successful lover, the resistance of this slight, rose-leaf creature +he could crush with one blow of his hand roused suddenly all the +primitive joy of the chase, the excitement of pursuit. Only, where +with some natures it would have been brutal and rapid, the end and +triumph assured, the prize the body; here it would be gentle and +dexterous, the end dependent on another, the prize the soul--the +soul, the will, the most difficult quarry to capture, as Ahmed +knew. + +He let his arm slip from her shoulders, and rose and walked over +to the window, looking out for a moment into the delicious green +beyond. Dilama half-sat, half-crouched upon the divan, not daring +to stir, and watched him furtively. + +Ahmed stood for a moment, and there was dead silence in the room. +Then he returned and came towards the couch, standing opposite it, +and looking down at her. + +"Dilama, you seem very much afraid of me, and why is it? Look up +and speak to me. There is no need for fear. Do you think I have +called you here to force you to love me? There is no way of forcing +love. You are free to come and go to and from this room as you +will, but I am lonely and grieved, now Buldoula has been taken away +from me. I would like you to come here and play and sing to me, and +console me; will you?" + +Dilama ventured to lift her eyes to the kingly figure before her, +and meeting the pained, dark eyes bent on her, and realising that +there was nothing, indeed, to make her fear but her own guilty +conscience, she burst suddenly into an uncontrollable passion of +weeping, and slipping from the couch fell sobbing at his feet. + +Ahmed stooped and gathered her up in his arms, holding her to his +breast, and this time she did not shrink from him, but lay there +unresisting, crying violently. For a moment the clasp of his arm, +the touch of gentle sympathy, soothed and comforted her. For one +wild moment she longed to confide in him, to tell him the reality. +What would happen? Was it possible that Ahmed would pardon her, and +let her go to her own life, her own love and lover! No, it was not +possible--any other offence but this; theft or murder he could have +forgiven and sheltered, but this, no! Instinctively she knew and +felt it would not be possible to him--a Turk, free from prejudice +and superstition, liberal as he was--to forgive her crime. Death +for herself and Murad was the best she could expect. Ahmed's own +honour, the traditions of all his house, his great position would +make it impossible for him to let her pass from his, a Turk's harem +to a Druze lover. The thought whirled from her sick brain, leaving +all confused and hopeless as before, and her tears rained fast. +Ahmed smoothed her soft hair and kissed her forehead gently, as it +lay against his breast. + +"Go and fetch your music, and sing to me," he whispered, as her +sobs ceased. "See how lovely the spring time is; it is no time for +tears, but for songs and--love." He murmured the last word very +softly and set her free. Without looking at him she slipped away to +the door in obedience to his command, and in a wild confusion of +feeling in which pleasure struggled with fear. + +When she came back with her instrument, a small pear shaped guitar +in appearance, she was more composed. Her eyes were still red and +swollen, but the soft, elastic skin had already regained its +colouring. As she entered, soft bars of sunlight were falling +through the room, the window had been opened, and the song of the +birds came gaily through it. Ahmed had ordered coffee and +sweetmeats to be brought, and these now stood on a small inlaid +table before her, on whose glistening arabesques of mother of pearl +the sunbeams twinkled merrily. Ahmed's eyes lighted up with tender +pleasure as he saw her enter, and she noted it. He was still +sitting on the couch, and held in his hand a small green leather +case--the counterpart of hundreds to be seen in the jewellers' +windows in Paris. Dilama guessed at once it was some present for +her. Unconsciously the light, gay, butterfly nature of the girl +began to reassert itself in the knowledge that the final issue had +not to be met then; that there was respite for her, delay; and a +natural joy stirred in her looking across at Ahmed. It was +something, after all, to be queen of the harem, to be wooed in +gifts and smiles by its lord. + +"Come here!" he said to her, and as she approached he opened the +case and took from it a bracelet, a limp band of gold with a clasp +of rubies and diamonds that flashed a thousand sparkling rays into +the astonished eyes of the girl, accustomed only to the dull, uncut +or poorly-cut gems of the East. + +"How wonderful! Is it for me, really?" she exclaimed, as Ahmed took +her unresisting arm and clasped the bracelet round it above the +elbow, where it lent a new beauty to the flesh. + +"Now, take some coffee, and then you shall play to me while I rest +and smoke," continued Ahmed, kissing her tenderly between the eyes, +as she gazed up gratefully to him, and though she flushed and +trembled, this time she did not shrink from him. + +The coffee seemed more delicious than any that was served in the +haremlik, and the gold-tipped cigarettes and the jam, made out of +rose leaves, that Ahmed pressed upon her, delighted her senses and +helped to make her think less of the passing hour and Murad, who +would be waiting in stormy passion for her, in the angle of the +wall. "I can't help it; I can't help it!" she thought to herself as +she took up her instrument and bent over the strings to tune them, +while Ahmed stretched himself at full length on the divan to +listen, with a scarlet cushion supporting his regal head. She could +both sing and play well, for Ahmed loved music, and wisely +considered it a safe amusement--an outlet for superfluous passions +and unexpressed feelings--for the women of the harem. Instruments +were provided in plenty, and instruction and all encouragement +given to them to learn, and from her first day in the harem +Dilama's natural voice and talents had been noted and fostered. +This afternoon, at first she was timid, and sang and played +stiffly, carefully, with a great attention to notes and strings; +but slowly the calm and stillness of the beautiful sun-filled room, +the scented air floating in from the garden, the tense atmosphere +of passion about her, and the magic beauty of the face and form +opposite influenced her, grew upon her, wrapped her round, and she +began to sing passionately, ardently, with that abandonment, +without which all music is a hollow sound. Her glorious voice, +fresh, youthful, clear, and pure came rushing joyously over her +lips and filled the room. Her spirits rose as she realised the +power she was exerting. She felt a little impatient at the thought +of Murad. After all, she was a great lady, a lady of the harem of +Ahmed Ali, the richest Turk in Damascus. She was dressed in +delicate silks, and the jewels blazed on her arm. She was queen of +the harem, and the beloved of its lord. He was most desirable to +her and to all women, and, but for Murad, who seemed to stand like +a black shadow between, she would have lain upon his breast with +pure delight. She leant forward now, singing rapturously over the +instrument pressed close to her soft breast, while her rose-hued +fingers leapt among its strings; a transparent flush, delicate as +the tint of a shell, glowed in her cheeks; her large, dark eyes +looked straight at Ahmed, drawing in all the proud beauty of his +face; her hair lay soft and thick without its veil above her brows, +and one heavy tress fell forward over her shoulder to her knee. +Ahmed lay watching her, his eyes filled with sombre fires, his +whole soul listening to the song; and one other lay listening also, +and this was Murad, crouching in the shade of the orange-tree +plantation, catching with distended ears that flood of passionate +melody wafted to him over the still garden, from the window of +Ahmed's apartment, from the Selamlik. + +When the song was finished, and the last notes had faltered softly +into silence, Ahmed rose from his divan and crossed to where she +sat. The room was full now of hot rosy light; the scent of the +orange flowers poured in through the windows; the girl's senses +grew confused and dizzy. Her cheeks were flaming with the +excitement and joy and effort and passion of her singing; her +eyelids were cast down, and beneath them her eyes watched, half in +terror, half in a strained delight, the blue Persian slippers +advancing silently over the matting on the floor towards her. + +"Will Dilama stay with me to-night?" + +The girl looked up, whitening to the lips, and slid to a kneeling +position. Terror at the thought of infidelity to Murad filled her; +he would infallibly find it out and avenge himself. Her face worked +convulsively; she stretched out her hands with a gesture of +despair. + +"What my lord wills: I am the slave of his wishes." + +Ahmed drew his level brows together, and for a moment lined the +serene beauty of his forehead. He gazed at her with a steady, +puzzled look, and at last a faint, half-quizzical smile relaxed his +lips. What could this strange idea, this whim be, so unlike all +Eastern maiden's usual fancies? He had not yet solved the riddle, +nor found the clue! he would do so, but in the meantime she must be +left her freedom. In all noble natures power brings with it a +terrible responsibility, and the habit of stern self-control and +long forbearance. Ahmed's complete power over the frightened piece +of humanity before him brought upon him the necessity practically +of surrender; for the Turk possesses one of the noblest and gentle +natures the human race can boast of. Ahmed remained silent for a +few seconds, and the girl gazed upon him with dilated, fascinated +eyes. She noted in a dazed way how the dark blue robe parted on his +breast and showed beneath a vest of gold silk, fastened a little to +the side by a single emerald; how the column of throat towered +above these, supporting the oval face and beautifully-modelled +chin, and above these again, and the commanding brows, shone +another solitary emerald between the folds of his turban on his +forehead. + +Murad began to seem like a robber depriving her of all these +things. There is no fidelity in the body. Fidelity is a thing of +the mind, always at war with and striving to coerce those instincts +of the senses that are ever clamouring after the new and the +unknown. Nature is ever driving us on to seek new mates. The mind +with its trammels of affection, gratitude, pity, consideration, is +ever dragging us back and seeking to tie us to the old. Nature's +rule is fresh seasons, fresh mates, new hours, new loves. And he +who seeks fidelity must woo the mind, for the body cannot give it, +and knows not its laws. + +After a minute's silence Ahmed stretched out his hand to her and +raised her to her feet. His face had lost its smiles and fire; it +was grave and sombre-looking now, but his voice was gentle as he +answered her: + +"You are free to return to the haremlik," he said; "no one has any +power to coerce you. I wish you to come and go as you will." He +waved his hand towards the curtain with a gesture of dismissal, and +then turned away and rang a little silver bell on a table. The +black slave appeared--it seemed almost instantly--before the +curtain; while Dilama still stood, motionless, irresolute, with a +curious sense of disappointment, mingling with relief, stealing +over her. Ahmed beckoned the slave to him, and said something +in a low voice Dilama did not catch, but the last sentence she +overheard. "Send Soutouma to me," and without taking any further +notice of Dilama, Ahmed turned back towards the divan, threw +himself upon it, and drew the pipe-stand towards him. + +The black slave, with a smile on her curving lips, motioned to +Dilama to precede her, and Dilama, with one look flung backward to +Ahmed's couch in the full sunlight of the window, passed under the +heavy blue curtain out into the passage. "Send Soutouma to me!" the +words went through her with a cutting feeling, as a knife dividing +her flesh. + +Soutouma was next to Buldoula in age and rank--a fair beauty of the +harem, with soft, long, sunlit tresses, and a skin of snow. + +"Yes, why not? why not?" asked Dilama wildly to herself as her feet +dragged along down the passage side by side with the grinning +black's. "I am a Druze girl: I belong to Murad and to the +mountains." But the insidious charm of Ahmed's personality worked +on all the pulses of her body; pulses that know not fidelity, +though her brain kept telling her that Murad would be waiting for +her in the garden. But that night Murad did not come. The garden +stood cool and fragrant, full of perfume and rosy light, full of +the music of birds and the tints of a thousand flowers--all the +invitations to love, but love itself was absent. Dilama searched +the garden from end to end, and walked in and out among the roses +by the buttressed wall, but the garden was empty and silent. She +was alone. Tired at last, and ready to cry with fatigue and +disappointment, she sat down by the red brick wall, leaning her +chin on her hand and gazing up towards the windows of the Selamlik, +which could only be seen in portions here and there through a leafy +screen of plane-tree branches. How still it was in the garden, and +how the scent of the orange flower weighed on the senses! How clear +the pink, transparent air! + +Through that same lucid air, under the spreading plane-trees, and +through the great dim bazaars of the city, walked Murad that +evening with quick, hot feet, and the liquid coursing in his veins +seemed fire instead of blood. He went from Druze to Druze, wherever +he could find them, in their own homes, or sitting at a shady +corner of a street, where the tiny rush-bottomed stools are +gathered round the tea-stalls with their hissing brazen urns and +porcelain cups, or lounging in the bazaars, or at the marble +drinking-fountains. Wherever they were he found them, and spoke a +few hot, eager words to them, urging them to hurry forward their +preparations, and be ready to start with the caravan at the rising +of the full moon. Then, as the rosy light changed into violet dusk, +he went home to his low, yellow, square-roofed dwelling on the edge +of the desert, and sat there in his one unlighted room--sat there +gazing out with unseeing eyes into the lustrous Damascus night +beyond the open door, and with the fingers of his right hand +playing absently with the handle of his knife. + +A week had passed over and Ahmed had not sent again for Dilama, nor +had Murad visited the garden, and to the Eastern girl it seemed as +if the world had stopped still. The hot, languid days, the gorgeous +nights with the blaze of the stars and the rapture of the +nightingales, filled her with madness that seemed insupportable. +She knew of no reason for Murad's desertion. She could find out +nothing. She did not dare to breathe a word to any one of the +anxiety, the wonder, the desperation that seemed choking her. What +had become of him? What had happened? Would he ever come again? And +as he appealed only to her senses, and he was not there, she ceased +to wish for him very much, but thought more of Ahmed and the +Selamlik that were close to her. For the mind and the imagination +love in absence and long after the absent one, but the senses are +stirred by proximity, and turn to the one who is nearest. + +One evening, when the soft sky was a clear crimson and the full +moon rose a perfect disk of transparent silver, faint as yet in the +blood-red glow, Dilama felt as if she could exist no longer in the +still, even, unchanging peace of the women's apartments. The song +of the water without, the coo of the doves, the incessantly +repeated love-note of the mating sparrows, seemed to madden her +beyond endurance. + +She lay face downwards on the soft carpet of her little +sleeping-chamber, and moaned unconsciously aloud, "Let me die! let +me die! I have lost favour with all men." + +The black slave was sitting cross-legged just outside the curtain, +and when these slow, long drawn-out words came from the other side +a light gleamed in her shrewd, beady-black eyes. With one claw-like +hand she cautiously drew back a fold of the curtain, and peering in +saw the foremost lady of the harem lying prostrate, her face +pressed to the floor. She made no sound, but dropping the curtain +noiselessly, sidled slowly off down the dark passage leading to the +Selamlik. Ahmed was alone in his apartment when the slave appeared, +sitting on the broad window ledge gazing out from the window which +overlooked his grounds, and beyond them the white minarets and +shining cupolas of the city. He turned at the interruption, but his +face lighted up with pleasure as he recognised the women's +attendant, and he signed to her to approach. + +"The Lady Dilama is weeping in her chamber, desiring my lord," +announced the slave, with much bowing and prostration, but still +with that confidence which showed she knew how welcome the news +would be to her august listener. Ahmed rose, a fire of joy leaping +up suddenly within him. + +"It is well," he said, in an even tone. "Let the Lady Dilama come +to me, and for yourself take this," and he dropped beside the +crouching heap of black back and shoulder a small velvet bag. The +slave grabbed it and put it in her breast, muttering a thousand +thanks and blessings, and withdrew. + +Once outside, her lean black legs carried her swiftly back to +Dilama's room, where she pushed aside the curtain without ceremony. + +"Come!" she said imperiously, "you are Ahmed Ali's chosen one; he +has sent for you. Put off that torn veil, and all that weeping. I +have new robes here for you." + +Dilama, who had hurriedly gathered herself up at the slave's entry, +shrank away now into a corner of the room, white as death. + +"Has he sent for me?" she asked breathlessly. "Commanded me? Oh, +must I go?" + +The slave looked at her strangely. She had no suspicion of Dilama's +secret, and had no idea that her own misrepresentations were as +gross as they were. But she had no wish to be harsh or unkind to +this girl, who would be in a few hours queen of the harem. She was +puzzled. She drew near to Dilama's shrinking form, and peered into +her face. + +"Yes, he _commands_," she said; "but is it possible you do not +wish to go to Ahmed? He is a king amongst men, and he loves you. +What better fate could there be than to lie on his breast, in his +arms? Is it not better than the ground to which you were crying +just now? Surely you will reward me well to-morrow?" + +Dilama answered nothing. Long shivers were passing through her. It +was decided, then; she could no longer avoid her fate, and already +with that thought the Oriental calm of acceptance came to her. +Besides, where was Murad? She could not tell. Fate had taken him +from her, perhaps--the same Fate that gave her to Ahmed. She was +helpless. She had no choice but to obey. And the words of the +slave, accompanied by those piercing, meaning looks, inflamed her +senses. After that unbearable week of solitude the summons came to +her not all unwelcome, and the supreme thought of Ahmed himself +loomed up suddenly, bringing irresistible joy with it. A flame +passed over her cheeks; she caught the slave's skinny black hand +between her own rose-leaf palms. + +"Yes, I will reward you," she murmured. "Dress me beautifully, +decorate me that I may find favour with Ahmed." + +The slave laughed meaningly. + +"Does the desert traveller burn and sigh after water, and then do +the springs of Damascus not find favour in his eyes?" she asked, +and laughed again as she approached Dilama, and began to undress +her. In a few minutes the whole of the haremlik was in a state of +pleasant excitement. The news of the dressing of the bride spread +into its furthest corners, and the women came to talk and jest, and +the servants fled hither and thither upon errands. Dilama was led +into the large general room, and there bathed from head to foot +with warm rose-water; while the others sat round and chatted +together, and admired her ivory skin, with the wild rose Syrian +bloom upon it, and her masses of gold-tinted chestnut hair. And the +black slave bathed and anointed and dressed her with the utmost +care and great self-importance, and sent the underslaves flying in +all directions, one to gather syringa, and other heavy-scented +blossoms from the garden, and another to fetch the jewels for her +neck; and as the attar of rose bottle was found to be empty, a +slave was sent with flying feet to the bazaar to purchase more; and +Dilama, excited and elated, surrounded by jest and laughter and +smiling faces, felt her youth leap up within her, and rejoice at +coming into its kingdom--love. + +In the bazaar the slave sped to the perfume-seller, and, swelling +with the importance of his mission, stayed a moment to chatter with +the dealer. + +"They are dressing a new bride for my master, and I must hasten +back," he gossiped, lounging on the merchant's little stall. "Ahmed +Ali awaits her in the Selamlik; I must be going. They say her +beauty is wonderful; she is not a Turk, but a Syrian from the +mountains by Beirut. I must hasten: they will be waiting." + +"Yes, hasten on your way," returned the perfume-seller. He was a +Turk, dignified and gracious, and of no mind to listen to gossip +from the harem, of which it was little short of scandalous to speak +so publicly. He had other customers in his shop who could hear, +amongst them a black-browed Druze in a green turban, who was +waiting patiently his turn, and who seemed to listen intently to +this most improper gossip. The slave disappeared with flying feet +to catch up his wasted moments, but when the Turk turned to serve +the silent Druze, he, too, had vanished, and some white-turbaned +Arabs pressed forward in his place. + + * * * * * + +Dilama in her lighted chamber, with her fresh young eyes a little +painted beneath their lids, and heavy gold chains about her soft +young throat, sat looking into the little French mirror of cheap +glass and gilt, and waiting for the attar of rose to be poured on +her shining hair. + +At last the boy returned breathless, and the precious stuff was +poured on her hair and hands. Then she stood up radiant and the +women sighed and smiled by turns as she went out, preceded by the +old slave. A long narrow passage, lighted overhead by swinging +coloured lamps, divided the women's from the men's apartments, and +through this they passed noiselessly over the matting-covered +floor. At the end fell heavy curtains, concealing the door and some +steps. Here the slave left the girl, and Dilama went through the +curtains alone. She mounted the steps and passed through the door. +All was quite silent here, and the passage unlighted, except that +through a tiny window high up above her head a streak of moonlight +fell across her way. Dilama paused oppressed, she knew not by what +feeling. Only a short passage and another curtained door divided +her now from Ahmed's presence. Her breath came fast, her pulses +beat nervously, and her feet dragged; slowly and unwillingly she +crept onward, harassed by cold, vague fears. Before the door itself +she trembled, and her soft hands and wrists hardly availed to push +it open. It yielded slowly, and fell to behind her in silence. + +The room was full of light; a silver blaze of moonlight illumined +it from end to end. The great windows, over which usually the +curtains were drawn, stood uncovered and wide open to the soft +Damascus air. The scent of roses and jessamine from the great man's +garden stole in with the silver light. The girl paused when just +over the threshold: she was cold and frightened, and her body +shook. Ahmed did not move or speak. He was sitting sideways to one +great window, with his head resting against the high back of the +one European chair that the room possessed. The light was so strong +that the rich, deep blue of the turban was distinctly visible in +it, but his face was in shadow. She could see, however, the noble +throat and pose of the shoulders as he sat waiting. The girl's +heart beat with a little sense of pleasure as she looked. Her feet +crept slowly a little farther into the room. A great tide of +pleasure was really just outside her heart, and would have rushed +in and overwhelmed it in waves of joy had she but opened her +heart's doors to it; but the shadow of Murad was on the bolts and +locks, and she felt afraid. The silence and great silver light in +the room oppressed her. Ahmed had not heard her enter, and had not +stirred nor looked at her. She crept a little closer. The beauty of +the majestic figure called her irresistibly. She drew closer. She +had passed one window now, and was near enough to see the jewels +flash on the slender hand that hung over the chair-arm, and the +glistening light on the embroidered Turkish slippers on his feet. +Shading her brow with one hand, Dilama came forward, fell at those +feet and kissed them. Still there was no movement, no sound. This +was so unlike Ahmed's way of treating his slaves, that the girl, +forgetting her fears, looked up in sheer surprise. Then her heart +seemed to stop suddenly, and then leap with excessive thuds of +horror against her breast. The face above her seemed carved in +stone, pale, bloodless, calm; it was set, as the girl realised in a +moment of terror and agony, in a repose that would never be broken. +The large, dark eyes, still open, gazed past her, sightless, +changeless. Fear, her fear of him, her awe, her oppressed terror +fell from her, giving way to an infinite regret, a sorrow, a sense +of loss that rushed over her, filling every cell, every atom of her +being. She, the unwilling, the reluctant, the slow-coming, the +grudging bride, now stood free. The bridegroom asked of her +nothing, demanded nothing, needed nothing, desired nothing. + +The slave-girl neither shrieked nor fainted. A great, convulsive +sob tore itself from her trembling body as she rose from her knees +and bent over the sitting figure. Wildly she passed her soft, +shaking fingers across his brow, still warm, and round his throat, +seeking mechanically the wound; then her eyes fell on the gold silk +of his tunic, and just over the left breast she saw a little brown +patch, and on the left side of the chair the silver light gleamed +on a small, dark-red pool. He had been stabbed as he sat there, +waiting for her--stabbed from the back, and the dagger thrust +through to the little brown spot in the front of the tunic. And +through that tiny door his life had gone. + +Lying at his feet, Dilama sobbed uncontrollably, rolling her head, +with its wonderful crown of flower-decked hair, and her pink-silk +clad body amongst the rugs on the floor. What was the worth or use +of anything now, silk or bridal attire, or beauty, or flower-decked +hair? Never would any of them now be mirrored in his eyes again. +Never could anything change that awful serenity, that implacable +silence, out of which she felt her own love, her own desire rush +upon her and devour her. Ahmed had been hers and she had shrunk +from him, and now all the blood in her body she would have given +willingly to replace that little scarlet stream that had borne away +his life. + +As she lay there, weeping in an agony of despair, a dark shadow +suddenly grew in the window, and fell a black patch in the panel of +white light upon the floor. A lithe figure balanced a moment on the +ledge of the open window, then leapt with the silent elastic bound +of a cat into the room. Dilama sprang from the floor to her knees +with a smothered cry of terror. + +"Murad! why have you come here?" + +The Druze leant over her and caught her arm fiercely. + +"To claim my own. It is not the first visit I have made to-night, +as you see," and as he dragged her up from her knees he indicated +the motionless figure beside them. + +"You killed him!" she whispered, gazing up with dilated, terrified +eyes. + +"Who should, if not I? Had he not taken my wife? Come, we must be +going." + +With the nail-like grip on her arm, and the low, savage tones in +her ears, and the blazing eyes like a tiger's, inflamed with the +lust of murder above her, the girl felt sick and half-fainting with +fear and misery. + +"He did not take me. I was always faithful, Murad. I love you. +I--" she stammered. + +"It is well," returned Murad with a grim smile, "and these tears I +suppose are because I was too long absent? It is true I have been +some time: I had much to do, and then I knew I was quite safe, now +I had settled all accounts with him. Come! the caravan is ready; +the camels wait for you." + +He dragged her towards the open square, the great square of the +window. Without, the night-flies and the moths danced in the silver +beams, the trees rose motionless and stately in the sultry air, the +gracious hours moved on with all the tranquil splendour of the +Oriental night. The girl threw her eyes over the sitting figure, +unmoved by all the strenuous passions fighting round it. Wildly, in +despairing agony, she stretched out her arms towards it in a vain, +unconscious passionate appeal. + +The Druze struck them downwards, and gripping her unresisting body +more tightly, he leapt from the window to the slight wooden +staircase without, and, like a tiger with his prey, crept away +stealthily through the silver silence of the rose garden towards +the desert. + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Six Women, by Victoria Cross + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK SIX WOMEN *** + +***** This file should be named 13238.txt or 13238.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/3/2/3/13238/ + +Produced by Janet Kegg and the Project Gutenberg Online Distributed +Proofreading Team + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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