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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/12214-0.txt b/12214-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..10fe396 --- /dev/null +++ b/12214-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,612 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12214 *** + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +ADMIRAL PETERS + +Mr. George Burton, naval pensioner, sat at the door of his lodgings +gazing in placid content at the sea. It was early summer, and the air +was heavy with the scent of flowers; Mr. Burton's pipe was cold and +empty, and his pouch upstairs. He shook his head gently as he realised +this, and, yielding to the drowsy quiet of his surroundings, laid aside +the useless pipe and fell into a doze. + +[Illustration: "Sat at the door of his lodgings gazing in placid content +at the sea."] + +He was awakened half an hour later by the sound of footsteps. A tall, +strongly built man was approaching from the direction of the town, and +Mr. Burton, as he gazed at him sleepily, began to wonder where he had +seen him before. Even when the stranger stopped and stood smiling down +at him his memory proved unequal to the occasion, and he sat staring at +the handsome, shaven face, with its little fringe of grey whisker, +waiting for enlightenment. + +"George, my buck," said the stranger, giving him a hearty slap on the +shoulder, "how goes it?" "D--- _Bless_ my eyes, I mean," said Mr. +Burton, correcting himself, "if it ain't Joe Stiles. I didn't know you +without your beard." + +"That's me," said the other. "It's quite by accident I heard where you +were living, George; I offered to go and sling my hammock with old Dingle +for a week or two, and he told me. Nice quiet little place, Seacombe. +Ah, you were lucky to get your pension, George." + +"I deserved it," said Mr. Burton, sharply, as he fancied he detected +something ambiguous in his friend's remark. + +"Of course you did," said Mr. Stiles; "so did I, but I didn't get it. +Well, it's a poor heart that never rejoices. What about that drink you +were speaking of, George?" + +"I hardly ever touch anything now," replied his friend. + +"I was thinking about myself," said Mr. Stiles. "I can't bear the stuff, +but the doctor says I must have it. You know what doctors are, George!" + +Mr. Burton did not deign to reply, but led the way indoors. + +"Very comfortable quarters, George," remarked Mr. Stiles, gazing round +the room approvingly; "ship-shape and tidy. I'm glad I met old Dingle. +Why, I might never ha' seen you again; and us such pals, too." + +His host grunted, and from the back of a small cupboard, produced a +bottle of whisky and a glass, and set them on the table. After a +momentary hesitation he found another glass. + +"Our noble selves," said Mr. Stiles, with a tinge of reproach in his +tones, "and may we never forget old friendships." + +Mr. Burton drank the toast. "I hardly know what it's like now, Joe," he +said, slowly. "You wouldn't believe how soon you can lose the taste for +it." + +Mr. Stiles said he would take his word for it. "You've got some nice +little public-houses about here, too," he remarked. "There's one I +passed called the Cock and Flowerpot; nice cosy little place it would be +to spend the evening in." + +"I never go there," said Mr. Burton, hastily. "I--a friend o' mine here +doesn't approve o' public-'ouses." + +"What's the matter with him?" inquired his friend, anxiously. + +"It's--it's a 'er," said Mr. Burton, in some confusion. + +Mr. Stiles threw himself back in his chair and eyed him with amazement. +Then, recovering his presence of mind, he reached out his hand for the +bottle. + +"We'll drink her health," he said, in a deep voice. "What's her name?" + +"Mrs. Dutton," was the reply. + +Mr. Stiles, with one hand on his heart, toasted her feelingly; then, +filling up again, he drank to the "happy couple." + +"She's very strict about drink," said Mr. Burton, eyeing these +proceedings with some severity. + +"Any--dibs?" inquired Mr. Stiles, slapping a pocket which failed to ring +in response. + +"She's comfortable," replied the other, awkwardly. "Got a little +stationer's shop in the town; steady, old-fashioned business. She's +chapel, and very strict." + +"Just what you want," remarked Mr. Stiles, placing his glass on the +table. "What d'ye say to a stroll?" + +Mr. Burton assented, and, having replaced the black bottle in the +cupboard, led the way along the cliffs toward the town some half-mile +distant, Mr. Stiles beguiling the way by narrating his adventures since +they had last met. A certain swagger and richness of deportment were +explained by his statement that he had been on the stage. + +"Only walking on," he said, with a shake of his head. "The only speaking +part I ever had was a cough. You ought to ha' heard that cough, George!" + +Mr. Burton politely voiced his regrets and watched him anxiously. Mr. +Stiles, shaking his head over a somewhat unsuccessful career, was making +a bee-line for the Cock and Flowerpot. + +"Just for a small soda," he explained, and, once inside, changed his mind +and had whisky instead. Mr. Burton, sacrificing principle to friendship, +had one with him. The bar more than fulfilled Mr. Stiles's ideas as to +its cosiness, and within the space of ten minutes he was on excellent +terms with the regular clients. Into the little, old-world bar, with its +loud-ticking clock, its Windsor-chairs, and its cracked jug full of +roses, he brought a breath of the bustle of the great city and tales of +the great cities beyond the seas. Refreshment was forced upon him, and +Mr. Burton, pleased at his friend's success, shared mildly in his +reception. It was nine o'clock before they departed, and then they only +left to please the landlord. + +"Nice lot o' chaps," said Mr. Stiles, as he stumbled out into the sweet, +cool air. "Catch hold--o' my--arm, George. Brace me--up a bit." + +Mr. Burton complied, and his friend, reassured as to his footing, burst +into song. In a stentorian voice he sang the latest song from comic +opera, and then with an adjuration to Mr. Burton to see what he was +about, and not to let him trip, he began, in a lumbering fashion, to +dance. + +Mr. Burton, still propping him up, trod a measure with fewer steps, and +cast uneasy glances up the lonely road. On their left the sea broke +quietly on the beach below; on their right were one or two scattered +cottages, at the doors of which an occasional figure appeared to gaze +in mute astonishment at the proceedings. + +"Dance, George," said Mr. Stiles, who found his friend rather an +encumbrance. + +"Hs'h! Stop!" cried the frantic Mr. Burton, as he caught sight of a +woman's figure bidding farewell in a lighted doorway. + +Mr. Stiles replied with a stentorian roar, and Mr. Burton, clinging +despairingly to his jigging friend lest a worse thing should happen, cast +an imploring glance at Mrs. Dutton as they danced by. The evening was +still light enough for him to see her face, and he piloted the corybantic +Mr. Stiles the rest of the way home in a mood which accorded but ill with +his steps. + +His manner at breakfast next morning was so offensive that Mr. Stiles, +who had risen fresh as a daisy and been out to inhale the air on the +cliffs, was somewhat offended. + +"You go down and see her," he said, anxiously. "Don't lose a moment; and +explain to her that it was the sea-air acting on an old sunstroke." + +"She ain't a fool," said Mr. Burton, gloomily. + +He finished his breakfast in silence, and, leaving the repentant Mr. +Stiles sitting in the doorway with a pipe, went down to the widow's to +make the best explanation he could think of on the way. Mrs. Dutton's +fresh-coloured face changed as he entered the shop, and her still good +eyes regarded him with scornful interrogation. + +"I--saw you last night," began Mr. Burton, timidly. + +"I saw you, too," said Mrs. Dutton. "I couldn't believe my eyesight at +first." + +"It was an old shipmate of mine," said Mr. Burton. "He hadn't seen me +for years, and I suppose the sight of me upset 'im." + +"I dare say," replied the widow; "that and the Cock and Flowerpot, too. +I heard about it." + +"He would go," said the unfortunate. + +"You needn't have gone," was the reply. + +"I 'ad to," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp; "he--he's an old officer o' +mine, and it wouldn't ha' been discipline for me to refuse." + +"Officer?" repeated Mrs. Dutton. + +"My old admiral," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp that nearly choked him. +"You've heard me speak of Admiral Peters?" + +"_Admiral?_" gasped the astonished widow. + +"What, a-carrying on like that?" + +"He's a reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton. "He's staying with me, +but of course 'e don't want it known who he is. I couldn't refuse to +'ave a drink with 'im. I was under orders, so to speak." + +"No, I suppose not," said Mrs. Dutton, softening. "Fancy him staying +with you!" + +"He just run down for the night, but I expect he'll be going 'ome in an +hour or two," said Mr. Burton, who saw an excellent reason now for +hastening his guest's departure. + +Mrs. Dutton's face fell. "Dear me," she murmured, "I should have liked +to have seen him; you have told me so much about him. If he doesn't go +quite so soon, and you would like to bring him here when you come +to-night, I'm sure I should be very pleased." + +"I'll mention it to 'im," said Mr. Burton, marvelling at the change in +her manner. + +"Didn't you say once that he was uncle to Lord Buckfast?" inquired Mrs. +Dutton, casually. + +"Yes," said Mr. Burton, with unnecessary doggedness; "I did." + +"The idea of an admiral staying with you!" said Mrs. Dutton. + +"Reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton again; "and, besides, he don't +want it known. It's a secret between us three, Mrs. Dutton." + +"To be sure," said the widow. "You can tell the admiral that I shall not +mention it to a soul," she added, mincingly. + +Mr. Burton thanked her and withdrew, lest Mr. Stiles should follow him up +before apprised of his sudden promotion. He found that gentleman, +however, still sitting at the front door, smoking serenely. + +"I'll stay with you for a week or two," said Mr. Stiles, briskly, as soon +as the other had told his story. "It'll do you a world o' good to be +seen on friendly terms with an admiral, and I'll put in a good word for +you." + +Mr. Burton shook his head. "No, she might find out," he said, slowly. +"I think that the best thing is for you to go home after dinner, Joe, and +just give 'er a look in on the way, p'r'aps. You could say a lot o' +things about me in 'arf an hour." + +"No, George," said Mr. Stiles, beaming on him kindly; "when I put my hand +to the plough I don't draw back. It's a good speaking part, too, an +admiral's. I wonder whether I might use old Peters's language." + +"Certainly not," said Mr. Burton, in alarm. + +"You don't know how particular she is." + +Mr. Stiles sighed, and said that he would do the best he could without +it. He spent most of the day on the beach smoking, and when evening came +shaved himself with extreme care and brushed his serge suit with great +perseverance in preparation for his visit. + +Mr. Burton performed the ceremony of introduction with some awkwardness; +Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which was not without +distinction; and Mrs. Dutton, in a black silk dress and the cameo brooch +which had belonged to her mother, was no less important. Mr. Burton had +an odd feeling of inferiority. + +[Illustration: "Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which +was not without distinction."] + +"It's a very small place to ask you to, Admiral Peters," said the widow, +offering him a chair. + +"It's comfortable, ma'am," said Mr. Stiles, looking round approvingly. +"Ah, you should see some of the palaces I've been in abroad; all show and +no comfort. Not a decent chair in the place. And, as for the +antimacassars----" + +"Are you making a long stay, Admiral Peters?" inquired the delighted +widow. + +"It depends," was the reply. "My intention was just to pay a flying +visit to my honest old friend Burton here--best man in my squadron--but +he is so hospitable, he's been pressing me to stay for a few weeks." + +"But the admiral says he must get back to-morrow morning," interposed Mr. +Burton, firmly. + +"Unless I have a letter at breakfast-time, Burton," said Mr. Stiles, +serenely. + +Mr. Burton favoured him with a mutinous scowl. + +"Oh, I do hope you will," said Mrs. Dutton. + +"I have a feeling that I shall," said Mr. Stiles, crossing glances with +his friend. "The only thing is my people; they want me to join them at +Lord Tufton's place." + +Mrs. Dutton trembled with delight at being in the company of a man with +such friends. "What a change shore-life must be to you after the perils +of the sea!" she murmured. + +"Ah!" said Mr. Stiles. "True! True!" + +"The dreadful fighting," said Mrs. Dutton, closing her eyes and +shuddering. + +"You get used to it," said the hero, simply. "Hottest time I had I think +was at the bombardment of Alexandria. I stood alone. All the men who +hadn't been shot down had fled, and the shells were bursting round me +like--like fireworks." + +The widow clasped her hands and shuddered again. + +"I was standing just behind 'im, waiting any orders he might give," said +Mr. Burton. + +"Were you?" said Mr. Stiles, sharply--"were you? I don't remember it, +Burton." + +"Why," said Mr. Burton, with a faint laugh, "I was just behind you, sir. +If you remember, sir, I said to you that it was pretty hot work." + +Mr. Stiles affected to consider. "No, Burton," he said, bluffly--"no; so +far as my memory goes I was the only man there." + +"A bit of a shell knocked my cap off, sir," persisted Mr. Burton, making +laudable efforts to keep his temper. + +"That'll do, my man," said the other, sharply; "not another word. You +forget yourself." + +He turned to the widow and began to chat about "his people" again to +divert her attention from Mr. Burton, who seemed likely to cause +unpleasantness by either bursting a blood-vessel or falling into a fit. + +"My people have heard of Burton," he said, with a slight glance to see +how that injured gentleman was progressing. "He has often shared my +dangers. We have been in many tight places together. Do you remember +those two nights when we were hidden in the chimney at the palace of the +Sultan of Zanzibar, Burton?" + +"I should think I do," said Mr. Burton, recovering somewhat. + +"Stuck so tight we could hardly breathe," continued the other. + +"I shall never forget it as long as I live," said Mr. Burton, who thought +that the other was trying to make amends for his recent indiscretion. + +"Oh, do tell me about it, Admiral Peters," cried Mrs. Dutton. + +"Surely Burton has told you that?" said Mr. Stiles. + +"Never breathed a word of it," said the widow, gazing somewhat +reproachfully at the discomfited Mr. Burton. + +"Well, tell it now, Burton," said Mr. Stiles. + +"You tell it better than I do, sir," said the other. + +"No, no," said Mr. Stiles, whose powers of invention were not always to +be relied upon. "You tell it; it's your story." + +The widow looked from one to the other. "It's your story, sir," said Mr. +Burton. + +"No, I won't tell it," said Mr. Stiles. "It wouldn't be fair to you, +Burton. I'd forgotten that when I spoke. Of course, you were young at +the time, still----" + +"I done nothing that I'm ashamed of, sir," said Mr. Burton, trembling +with passion. + +"I think it's very hard if I'm not to hear it," said Mrs. Dutton, with +her most fascinating air. + +Mr. Stiles gave her a significant glance, and screwing up his lips nodded +in the direction of Mr. Burton. + +"At any rate, you were in the chimney with me, sir," said that +unfortunate. + +"Ah!" said the other, severely. "But what was I there for, my man?" + +Mr. Burton could not tell him; he could only stare at him in a frenzy of +passion and dismay. + +"What were you there for, Admiral Peters?" inquired Mrs. Dutton. + +"I was there, ma'am," said the unspeakable Mr. Stiles, slowly--"I was +there to save the life of Burton. I never deserted my men---never. +Whatever scrapes they got into I always did my best to get them out. +News was brought to me that Burton was suffocating in the chimney of the +Sultan's favourite wife, and I----" + +"Sultan's favourite wife!" gasped Mrs. Dutton, staring hard at Mr. +Burton, who had collapsed in his chair and was regarding the ingenious +Mr. Stiles with open-mouthed stupefaction. "Good gracious! I--I never +heard of such a thing. I am surprised!" + +"So am I," said Mr. Burton, thickly. "I--I---" + +"How did you escape, Admiral Peters?" inquired the widow, turning from +the flighty Burton in indignation. + +Mr. Stiles shook his head. "To tell you that would be to bring the +French Consul into it," he said, gently. "I oughtn't to have mentioned +the subject at all. Burton had the good sense not to." + +The widow murmured acquiescence, and stole a look at the prosaic figure +of the latter gentleman which was full of scornful curiosity. With some +diffidence she invited the admiral to stay to supper, and was obviously +delighted when he accepted. + +In the character of admiral Mr. Stiles enjoyed himself amazingly, his one +regret being that no discriminating theatrical manager was present to +witness his performance. His dignity increased as the evening wore on, +and from good-natured patronage of the unfortunate Burton he progressed +gradually until he was shouting at him. Once, when he had occasion to +ask Mr. Burton if he intended to contradict him, his appearance was so +terrible that his hostess turned pale and trembled with excitement. + +Mr. Burton adopted the air for his own use as soon as they were clear of +Mrs. Dutton's doorstep, and in good round terms demanded of Mr. Stiles +what he meant by it. + +"It was a difficult part to play, George," responded his friend. "We +ought to have rehearsed it a bit. I did the best I could." + +"Best you could?" stormed Mr. Burton. "Telling lies and ordering me +about?" + +"I had to play the part without any preparation, George," said the other, +firmly. "You got yourself into the difficulty by saying that I was the +admiral in the first place. I'll do better next time we go." + +Mr. Burton, with a nasty scowl, said that there was not going to be any +next time, but Mr. Stiles smiled as one having superior information. +Deaf first to hints and then to requests to seek his pleasure elsewhere, +he stayed on, and Mr. Burton was soon brought to realise the difficulties +which beset the path of the untruthful. + +The very next visit introduced a fresh complication, it being evident to +the most indifferent spectator that Mr. Stiles and the widow were getting +on very friendly terms. Glances of unmistakable tenderness passed +between them, and on the occasion of the third visit Mr. Burton sat an +amazed and scandalised spectator of a flirtation of the most pronounced +description. A despairing attempt on his part to lead the conversation +into safer and, to his mind, more becoming channels only increased his +discomfiture. Neither of them took any notice of it, and a minute later +Mr. Stiles called the widow a "saucy little baggage," and said that she +reminded him of the Duchess of Marford. + +[Illustration: "'Mr. Stiles called the widow a 'saucy little baggage.'"] + +"I used to think she was the most charming woman in England," he said, +meaningly. + +Mrs. Dutton simpered and looked down; Mr. Stiles moved his chair a little +closer to her, and then glanced thoughtfully at his friend. + +"Burton," he said. + +"Sir," snapped the other. + +"Run back and fetch my pipe for me," said Mr. Stiles. "I left it on the +mantelpiece." + +Mr. Burton hesitated, and, the widow happening to look away, shook his +fist at his superior officer. + +"Look sharp," said Mr. Stiles, in a peremptory voice. + +"I'm very sorry, sir," said Mr. Burton, whose wits were being sharpened +by misfortune, "but I broke it." + +"Broke it?" repeated the other. + +"Yes, sir," said Mr. Burton. "I knocked it on the floor and trod on it +by accident; smashed it to powder." + +Mr. Stiles rated him roundly for his carelessness, and asked him whether +he knew that it was a present from the Italian Ambassador. + +"Burton was always a clumsy man," he said, turning to the widow. "He had +the name for it when he was on the _Destruction_ with me; 'Bungling +Burton' they called him." + +He divided the rest of the evening between flirting and recounting +various anecdotes of Mr. Burton, none of which were at all flattering +either to his intelligence or to his sobriety, and the victim, after one +or two futile attempts at contradiction, sat in helpless wrath as he saw +the infatuation of the widow. They were barely clear of the house before +his pent-up emotions fell in an avalanche of words on the faithless Mr. +Stiles. + +"I can't help being good-looking," said the latter, with a smirk. + +"Your good looks wouldn't hurt anybody," said Mr. Burton, in a grating +voice; "it's the admiral business that fetches her. It's turned 'er +head." + +Mr. Stiles smiled. "She'll say 'snap' to my 'snip' any time," he +remarked. "And remember, George, there'll always be a knife and fork +laid for you when you like to come." + +"I dessay," retorted Mr. Burton, with a dreadful sneer. "Only as it +happens I'm going to tell 'er the truth about you first thing to-morrow +morning. If I can't have 'er you sha'n't." + +"That'll spoil your chance, too," said Mr. Stiles. "She'd never forgive +you for fooling her like that. It seems a pity neither of us should get +her." + +"You're a sarpent," exclaimed Mr. Burton, savagely--"a sarpent that I've +warmed in my bosom and----" + +"There's no call to be indelicate, George," said Mr. Stiles, reprovingly, +as he paused at the door of the house. "Let's sit down and talk it over +quietly." + +Mr. Burton followed him into the room and, taking a chair, waited. + +"It's evident she's struck with me," said Mr. Stiles, slowly; "it's also +evident that if you tell her the truth it might spoil my chances. I +don't say it would, but it might. That being so, I'm agreeable to going +back without seeing her again by the six-forty train to-morrow morning if +it's made worth my while." + +"Made worth your while?" repeated the other. + +"Certainly," said the unblushing Mr. Stiles. "She's not a bad-looking +woman--for her age--and it's a snug little business." + +Mr. Burton, suppressing his choler, affected to ponder. "If 'arf a +sovereign--" he said, at last. + +"Half a fiddlestick!" said the other, impatiently. "I want ten pounds. +You've just drawn your pension, and, besides, you've been a saving man +all your life." + +"Ten pounds?" gasped the other. "D'ye think I've got a gold-mine in the +back garden?" + +Mr. Stiles leaned back in his chair and crossed his feet. "I don't go +for a penny less," he said, firmly. "Ten pounds and my ticket back. If +you call me any more o' those names I'll make it twelve." + +"And what am I to explain to Mrs. Dutton?" demanded Mr. Burton, after a +quarter of an hour's altercation. + +"Anything you like," said his generous friend. "Tell her I'm engaged to +my cousin, and our marriage keeps being put off and off on account of my +eccentric behaviour. And you can say that that was caused by a splinter +of a shell striking my head. Tell any lies you like; I shall never turn +up again to contradict them. If she tries to find out things about the +admiral, remind her that she promised to keep his visit here secret." + +For over an hour Mr. Burton sat weighing the advantages and disadvantages +of this proposal, and then--Mr. Stiles refusing to seal the bargain +without--shook hands upon it and went off to bed in a state of mind +hovering between homicide and lunacy. + +He was up in good time next morning, and, returning the shortest possible +answers to the remarks of Mr. Stiles, who was in excellent feather, went +with him to the railway station to be certain of his departure. + +It was a delightful morning, cool and bright, and, despite his +misfortunes. Mr. Burton's spirits began to rise as he thought of his +approaching deliverance. Gloom again overtook him at the booking-office, +where the unconscionable Mr. Stiles insisted firmly upon a first-class +ticket. + +"Who ever heard of an admiral riding third?" he demanded, indignantly. + +"But they don't know you're an admiral," urged Mr. Burton, trying to +humour him. + +"No; but I feel like one," said Mr. Stiles, slapping his pocket. "I've +always felt curious to see what it feels like travelling first-class; +besides, you can tell Mrs. Dutton." + +"I could tell 'er that in any case," returned Mr. Burton. + +Mr. Stiles looked shocked, and, time pressing, Mr. Burton, breathing so +hard that it impeded his utterance, purchased a first-class ticket and +conducted him to the carriage. Mr. Stiles took a seat by the window and +lolling back put his foot up on the cushions opposite. A large bell rang +and the carriage-doors were slammed. + +"Good-bye, George," said the traveller, putting his head to the window. +"I've enjoyed my visit very much." + +"Good riddance," said Mr. Burton, savagely. + + +[Illustration: "'Good riddance,' said Mr. Burton, savagely."] + +Mr. Stiles shook his head. "I'm letting you off easy," he said, slowly. +"If it hadn't ha' been for one little thing I'd have had the widow +myself." + +"What little thing?" demanded the other, as the train began to glide +slowly out. + +"My wife," said Mr. Stiles, as a huge smile spread slowly over his face. +"Good-bye, George, and don't forget to give my love when you go round." + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Admiral Peters, by W.W. Jacobs + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12214 *** diff --git a/12214-h.zip b/12214-h.zip Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..9ef540e --- /dev/null +++ b/12214-h.zip diff --git a/12214-h/068.jpg b/12214-h/068.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..6c11098 --- /dev/null +++ b/12214-h/068.jpg diff --git a/12214-h/069.jpg b/12214-h/069.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e633626 --- /dev/null +++ b/12214-h/069.jpg diff --git a/12214-h/070.jpg b/12214-h/070.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..2cf9455 --- /dev/null +++ b/12214-h/070.jpg diff --git a/12214-h/071.jpg b/12214-h/071.jpg Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..7e06da4 --- /dev/null +++ b/12214-h/071.jpg diff --git a/12214-h/12214-h.htm b/12214-h/12214-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c78d1d3 --- /dev/null +++ b/12214-h/12214-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,1320 @@ +<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.01 Transitional//EN"> +<html> +<head> +<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" + content="text/html; charset=us-ascii"> +<title>The Project Gutenberg eBook of Odd Craft + By W. W. Jacobs: Part 14 +</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: cursive} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> + +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Admiral Peters, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Admiral Peters + Odd Craft, Part 14. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12214] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ADMIRAL PETERS *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (42K)" src="title.jpg" height="658" width="479" /> +</center> +<br><br> +<br /><br /> +<h2> + 1909 +</h2> + +<center> +<h3>PART 14.</h3> +</center> + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> + + + + + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-68"> +"Sat at the Door of his Lodgings Gazing in Placid Content +At the Sea." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-69"> +"Mr. Stiles Was Affecting a Stateliness of Manner Which +Was Not Without Distinction." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-70"> +"'Mr. Stiles Called the Widow a 'saucy Little Baggage.'" +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-71"> +"'Good Riddance,' Said Mr. Burton, Savagely." +</a></p> + + + + + + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + + +<a name="2H_4_14"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2> + ADMIRAL PETERS +</h2> +<p> + Mr. George Burton, naval pensioner, sat at the door of his lodgings + gazing in placid content at the sea. It was early summer, and the air + was heavy with the scent of flowers; Mr. Burton's pipe was cold and + empty, and his pouch upstairs. He shook his head gently as he realised + this, and, yielding to the drowsy quiet of his surroundings, laid aside + the useless pipe and fell into a doze. +</p> +<a name="image-68"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="068.jpg" height="430" width="567" +alt="'sat at the Door of his Lodgings Gazing in Placid Content +At the Sea.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + He was awakened half an hour later by the sound of footsteps. A tall, + strongly built man was approaching from the direction of the town, and + Mr. Burton, as he gazed at him sleepily, began to wonder where he had + seen him before. Even when the stranger stopped and stood smiling down + at him his memory proved unequal to the occasion, and he sat staring at + the handsome, shaven face, with its little fringe of grey whisker, + waiting for enlightenment. +</p> +<p> + "George, my buck," said the stranger, giving him a hearty slap on the + shoulder, "how goes it?" "D—- <i>Bless</i> my eyes, I mean," said Mr. + Burton, correcting himself, "if it ain't Joe Stiles. I didn't know you + without your beard." +</p> +<p> + "That's me," said the other. "It's quite by accident I heard where you + were living, George; I offered to go and sling my hammock with old Dingle + for a week or two, and he told me. Nice quiet little place, Seacombe. + Ah, you were lucky to get your pension, George." +</p> +<p> + "I deserved it," said Mr. Burton, sharply, as he fancied he detected + something ambiguous in his friend's remark. +</p> +<p> + "Of course you did," said Mr. Stiles; "so did I, but I didn't get it. + Well, it's a poor heart that never rejoices. What about that drink you + were speaking of, George?" +</p> +<p> + "I hardly ever touch anything now," replied his friend. +</p> +<p> + "I was thinking about myself," said Mr. Stiles. "I can't bear the stuff, + but the doctor says I must have it. You know what doctors are, George!" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton did not deign to reply, but led the way indoors. +</p> +<p> + "Very comfortable quarters, George," remarked Mr. Stiles, gazing round + the room approvingly; "ship-shape and tidy. I'm glad I met old Dingle. + Why, I might never ha' seen you again; and us such pals, too." +</p> +<p> + His host grunted, and from the back of a small cupboard, produced a + bottle of whisky and a glass, and set them on the table. After a + momentary hesitation he found another glass. +</p> +<p> + "Our noble selves," said Mr. Stiles, with a tinge of reproach in his + tones, "and may we never forget old friendships." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton drank the toast. "I hardly know what it's like now, Joe," he + said, slowly. "You wouldn't believe how soon you can lose the taste for + it." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles said he would take his word for it. "You've got some nice + little public-houses about here, too," he remarked. "There's one I + passed called the Cock and Flowerpot; nice cosy little place it would be + to spend the evening in." +</p> +<p> + "I never go there," said Mr. Burton, hastily. "I—a friend o' mine here + doesn't approve o' public-'ouses." +</p> +<p> + "What's the matter with him?" inquired his friend, anxiously. +</p> +<p> + "It's—it's a 'er," said Mr. Burton, in some confusion. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles threw himself back in his chair and eyed him with amazement. + Then, recovering his presence of mind, he reached out his hand for the + bottle. +</p> +<p> + "We'll drink her health," he said, in a deep voice. "What's her name?" +</p> +<p> + "Mrs. Dutton," was the reply. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles, with one hand on his heart, toasted her feelingly; then, + filling up again, he drank to the "happy couple." +</p> +<p> + "She's very strict about drink," said Mr. Burton, eyeing these + proceedings with some severity. +</p> +<p> + "Any—dibs?" inquired Mr. Stiles, slapping a pocket which failed to ring + in response. +</p> +<p> + "She's comfortable," replied the other, awkwardly. "Got a little + stationer's shop in the town; steady, old-fashioned business. She's + chapel, and very strict." +</p> +<p> + "Just what you want," remarked Mr. Stiles, placing his glass on the + table. "What d'ye say to a stroll?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton assented, and, having replaced the black bottle in the + cupboard, led the way along the cliffs toward the town some half-mile + distant, Mr. Stiles beguiling the way by narrating his adventures since + they had last met. A certain swagger and richness of deportment were + explained by his statement that he had been on the stage. +</p> +<p> + "Only walking on," he said, with a shake of his head. "The only speaking + part I ever had was a cough. You ought to ha' heard that cough, George!" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton politely voiced his regrets and watched him anxiously. Mr. + Stiles, shaking his head over a somewhat unsuccessful career, was making + a bee-line for the Cock and Flowerpot. +</p> +<p> + "Just for a small soda," he explained, and, once inside, changed his mind + and had whisky instead. Mr. Burton, sacrificing principle to friendship, + had one with him. The bar more than fulfilled Mr. Stiles's ideas as to + its cosiness, and within the space of ten minutes he was on excellent + terms with the regular clients. Into the little, old-world bar, with its + loud-ticking clock, its Windsor-chairs, and its cracked jug full of + roses, he brought a breath of the bustle of the great city and tales of + the great cities beyond the seas. Refreshment was forced upon him, and + Mr. Burton, pleased at his friend's success, shared mildly in his + reception. It was nine o'clock before they departed, and then they only + left to please the landlord. +</p> +<p> + "Nice lot o' chaps," said Mr. Stiles, as he stumbled out into the sweet, + cool air. "Catch hold—o' my—arm, George. Brace me—up a bit." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton complied, and his friend, reassured as to his footing, burst + into song. In a stentorian voice he sang the latest song from comic + opera, and then with an adjuration to Mr. Burton to see what he was + about, and not to let him trip, he began, in a lumbering fashion, to + dance. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton, still propping him up, trod a measure with fewer steps, and + cast uneasy glances up the lonely road. On their left the sea broke + quietly on the beach below; on their right were one or two scattered + cottages, at the doors of which an occasional figure appeared to gaze + in mute astonishment at the proceedings. +</p> +<p> + "Dance, George," said Mr. Stiles, who found his friend rather an + encumbrance. +</p> +<p> + "Hs'h! Stop!" cried the frantic Mr. Burton, as he caught sight of a + woman's figure bidding farewell in a lighted doorway. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles replied with a stentorian roar, and Mr. Burton, clinging + despairingly to his jigging friend lest a worse thing should happen, cast + an imploring glance at Mrs. Dutton as they danced by. The evening was + still light enough for him to see her face, and he piloted the corybantic + Mr. Stiles the rest of the way home in a mood which accorded but ill with + his steps. +</p> +<p> + His manner at breakfast next morning was so offensive that Mr. Stiles, + who had risen fresh as a daisy and been out to inhale the air on the + cliffs, was somewhat offended. +</p> +<p> + "You go down and see her," he said, anxiously. "Don't lose a moment; and + explain to her that it was the sea-air acting on an old sunstroke." +</p> +<p> + "She ain't a fool," said Mr. Burton, gloomily. +</p> +<p> + He finished his breakfast in silence, and, leaving the repentant Mr. + Stiles sitting in the doorway with a pipe, went down to the widow's to + make the best explanation he could think of on the way. Mrs. Dutton's + fresh-coloured face changed as he entered the shop, and her still good + eyes regarded him with scornful interrogation. +</p> +<p> + "I—saw you last night," began Mr. Burton, timidly. +</p> +<p> + "I saw you, too," said Mrs. Dutton. "I couldn't believe my eyesight at + first." +</p> +<p> + "It was an old shipmate of mine," said Mr. Burton. "He hadn't seen me + for years, and I suppose the sight of me upset 'im." +</p> +<p> + "I dare say," replied the widow; "that and the Cock and Flowerpot, too. + I heard about it." +</p> +<p> + "He would go," said the unfortunate. +</p> +<p> + "You needn't have gone," was the reply. +</p> +<p> + "I 'ad to," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp; "he—he's an old officer o' + mine, and it wouldn't ha' been discipline for me to refuse." +</p> +<p> + "Officer?" repeated Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "My old admiral," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp that nearly choked him. + "You've heard me speak of Admiral Peters?" +</p> +<p> + "<i>Admiral?</i>" gasped the astonished widow. +</p> +<p> + "What, a-carrying on like that?" +</p> +<p> + "He's a reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton. "He's staying with me, + but of course 'e don't want it known who he is. I couldn't refuse to + 'ave a drink with 'im. I was under orders, so to speak." +</p> +<p> + "No, I suppose not," said Mrs. Dutton, softening. "Fancy him staying + with you!" +</p> +<p> + "He just run down for the night, but I expect he'll be going 'ome in an + hour or two," said Mr. Burton, who saw an excellent reason now for + hastening his guest's departure. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Dutton's face fell. "Dear me," she murmured, "I should have liked + to have seen him; you have told me so much about him. If he doesn't go + quite so soon, and you would like to bring him here when you come + to-night, I'm sure I should be very pleased." +</p> +<p> + "I'll mention it to 'im," said Mr. Burton, marvelling at the change in + her manner. +</p> +<p> + "Didn't you say once that he was uncle to Lord Buckfast?" inquired Mrs. + Dutton, casually. +</p> +<p> + "Yes," said Mr. Burton, with unnecessary doggedness; "I did." +</p> +<p> + "The idea of an admiral staying with you!" said Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "Reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton again; "and, besides, he don't + want it known. It's a secret between us three, Mrs. Dutton." +</p> +<p> + "To be sure," said the widow. "You can tell the admiral that I shall not + mention it to a soul," she added, mincingly. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton thanked her and withdrew, lest Mr. Stiles should follow him up + before apprised of his sudden promotion. He found that gentleman, + however, still sitting at the front door, smoking serenely. +</p> +<p> + "I'll stay with you for a week or two," said Mr. Stiles, briskly, as soon + as the other had told his story. "It'll do you a world o' good to be + seen on friendly terms with an admiral, and I'll put in a good word for + you." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton shook his head. "No, she might find out," he said, slowly. + "I think that the best thing is for you to go home after dinner, Joe, and + just give 'er a look in on the way, p'r'aps. You could say a lot o' + things about me in 'arf an hour." +</p> +<p> + "No, George," said Mr. Stiles, beaming on him kindly; "when I put my hand + to the plough I don't draw back. It's a good speaking part, too, an + admiral's. I wonder whether I might use old Peters's language." +</p> +<p> + "Certainly not," said Mr. Burton, in alarm. +</p> +<p> + "You don't know how particular she is." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles sighed, and said that he would do the best he could without + it. He spent most of the day on the beach smoking, and when evening came + shaved himself with extreme care and brushed his serge suit with great + perseverance in preparation for his visit. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton performed the ceremony of introduction with some awkwardness; + Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which was not without + distinction; and Mrs. Dutton, in a black silk dress and the cameo brooch + which had belonged to her mother, was no less important. Mr. Burton had + an odd feeling of inferiority. +</p> +<a name="image-69"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="069.jpg" height="447" width="489" +alt="'mr. Stiles Was Affecting a Stateliness of Manner Which +Was Not Without Distinction.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "It's a very small place to ask you to, Admiral Peters," said the widow, + offering him a chair. +</p> +<p> + "It's comfortable, ma'am," said Mr. Stiles, looking round approvingly. + "Ah, you should see some of the palaces I've been in abroad; all show and + no comfort. Not a decent chair in the place. And, as for the + antimacassars——" +</p> +<p> + "Are you making a long stay, Admiral Peters?" inquired the delighted + widow. +</p> +<p> + "It depends," was the reply. "My intention was just to pay a flying + visit to my honest old friend Burton here—best man in my squadron—but + he is so hospitable, he's been pressing me to stay for a few weeks." +</p> +<p> + "But the admiral says he must get back to-morrow morning," interposed Mr. + Burton, firmly. +</p> +<p> + "Unless I have a letter at breakfast-time, Burton," said Mr. Stiles, + serenely. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton favoured him with a mutinous scowl. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, I do hope you will," said Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "I have a feeling that I shall," said Mr. Stiles, crossing glances with + his friend. "The only thing is my people; they want me to join them at + Lord Tufton's place." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Dutton trembled with delight at being in the company of a man with + such friends. "What a change shore-life must be to you after the perils + of the sea!" she murmured. +</p> +<p> + "Ah!" said Mr. Stiles. "True! True!" +</p> +<p> + "The dreadful fighting," said Mrs. Dutton, closing her eyes and + shuddering. +</p> +<p> + "You get used to it," said the hero, simply. "Hottest time I had I think + was at the bombardment of Alexandria. I stood alone. All the men who + hadn't been shot down had fled, and the shells were bursting round me + like—like fireworks." +</p> +<p> + The widow clasped her hands and shuddered again. +</p> +<p> + "I was standing just behind 'im, waiting any orders he might give," said + Mr. Burton. +</p> +<p> + "Were you?" said Mr. Stiles, sharply—"were you? I don't remember it, + Burton." +</p> +<p> + "Why," said Mr. Burton, with a faint laugh, "I was just behind you, sir. + If you remember, sir, I said to you that it was pretty hot work." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles affected to consider. "No, Burton," he said, bluffly—"no; so + far as my memory goes I was the only man there." +</p> +<p> + "A bit of a shell knocked my cap off, sir," persisted Mr. Burton, making + laudable efforts to keep his temper. +</p> +<p> + "That'll do, my man," said the other, sharply; "not another word. You + forget yourself." +</p> +<p> + He turned to the widow and began to chat about "his people" again to + divert her attention from Mr. Burton, who seemed likely to cause + unpleasantness by either bursting a blood-vessel or falling into a fit. +</p> +<p> + "My people have heard of Burton," he said, with a slight glance to see + how that injured gentleman was progressing. "He has often shared my + dangers. We have been in many tight places together. Do you remember + those two nights when we were hidden in the chimney at the palace of the + Sultan of Zanzibar, Burton?" +</p> +<p> + "I should think I do," said Mr. Burton, recovering somewhat. +</p> +<p> + "Stuck so tight we could hardly breathe," continued the other. +</p> +<p> + "I shall never forget it as long as I live," said Mr. Burton, who thought + that the other was trying to make amends for his recent indiscretion. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, do tell me about it, Admiral Peters," cried Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "Surely Burton has told you that?" said Mr. Stiles. +</p> +<p> + "Never breathed a word of it," said the widow, gazing somewhat + reproachfully at the discomfited Mr. Burton. +</p> +<p> + "Well, tell it now, Burton," said Mr. Stiles. +</p> +<p> + "You tell it better than I do, sir," said the other. +</p> +<p> + "No, no," said Mr. Stiles, whose powers of invention were not always to + be relied upon. "You tell it; it's your story." +</p> +<p> + The widow looked from one to the other. "It's your story, sir," said Mr. + Burton. +</p> +<p> + "No, I won't tell it," said Mr. Stiles. "It wouldn't be fair to you, + Burton. I'd forgotten that when I spoke. Of course, you were young at + the time, still——" +</p> +<p> + "I done nothing that I'm ashamed of, sir," said Mr. Burton, trembling + with passion. +</p> +<p> + "I think it's very hard if I'm not to hear it," said Mrs. Dutton, with + her most fascinating air. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles gave her a significant glance, and screwing up his lips nodded + in the direction of Mr. Burton. +</p> +<p> + "At any rate, you were in the chimney with me, sir," said that + unfortunate. +</p> +<p> + "Ah!" said the other, severely. "But what was I there for, my man?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton could not tell him; he could only stare at him in a frenzy of + passion and dismay. +</p> +<p> + "What were you there for, Admiral Peters?" inquired Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "I was there, ma'am," said the unspeakable Mr. Stiles, slowly—"I was + there to save the life of Burton. I never deserted my men—-never. + Whatever scrapes they got into I always did my best to get them out. + News was brought to me that Burton was suffocating in the chimney of the + Sultan's favourite wife, and I——" +</p> +<p> + "Sultan's favourite wife!" gasped Mrs. Dutton, staring hard at Mr. + Burton, who had collapsed in his chair and was regarding the ingenious + Mr. Stiles with open-mouthed stupefaction. "Good gracious! I—I never + heard of such a thing. I am surprised!" +</p> +<p> + "So am I," said Mr. Burton, thickly. "I—I—-" +</p> +<p> + "How did you escape, Admiral Peters?" inquired the widow, turning from + the flighty Burton in indignation. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles shook his head. "To tell you that would be to bring the + French Consul into it," he said, gently. "I oughtn't to have mentioned + the subject at all. Burton had the good sense not to." +</p> +<p> + The widow murmured acquiescence, and stole a look at the prosaic figure + of the latter gentleman which was full of scornful curiosity. With some + diffidence she invited the admiral to stay to supper, and was obviously + delighted when he accepted. +</p> +<p> + In the character of admiral Mr. Stiles enjoyed himself amazingly, his one + regret being that no discriminating theatrical manager was present to + witness his performance. His dignity increased as the evening wore on, + and from good-natured patronage of the unfortunate Burton he progressed + gradually until he was shouting at him. Once, when he had occasion to + ask Mr. Burton if he intended to contradict him, his appearance was so + terrible that his hostess turned pale and trembled with excitement. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton adopted the air for his own use as soon as they were clear of + Mrs. Dutton's doorstep, and in good round terms demanded of Mr. Stiles + what he meant by it. +</p> +<p> + "It was a difficult part to play, George," responded his friend. "We + ought to have rehearsed it a bit. I did the best I could." +</p> +<p> + "Best you could?" stormed Mr. Burton. "Telling lies and ordering me + about?" +</p> +<p> + "I had to play the part without any preparation, George," said the other, + firmly. "You got yourself into the difficulty by saying that I was the + admiral in the first place. I'll do better next time we go." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton, with a nasty scowl, said that there was not going to be any + next time, but Mr. Stiles smiled as one having superior information. + Deaf first to hints and then to requests to seek his pleasure elsewhere, + he stayed on, and Mr. Burton was soon brought to realise the difficulties + which beset the path of the untruthful. +</p> +<p> + The very next visit introduced a fresh complication, it being evident to + the most indifferent spectator that Mr. Stiles and the widow were getting + on very friendly terms. Glances of unmistakable tenderness passed + between them, and on the occasion of the third visit Mr. Burton sat an + amazed and scandalised spectator of a flirtation of the most pronounced + description. A despairing attempt on his part to lead the conversation + into safer and, to his mind, more becoming channels only increased his + discomfiture. Neither of them took any notice of it, and a minute later + Mr. Stiles called the widow a "saucy little baggage," and said that she + reminded him of the Duchess of Marford. +</p> +<a name="image-70"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="070.jpg" height="391" width="508" +alt="''mr. Stiles Called the Widow a 'saucy Little Baggage.'' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "I used to think she was the most charming woman in England," he said, + meaningly. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Dutton simpered and looked down; Mr. Stiles moved his chair a little + closer to her, and then glanced thoughtfully at his friend. +</p> +<p> + "Burton," he said. +</p> +<p> + "Sir," snapped the other. +</p> +<p> + "Run back and fetch my pipe for me," said Mr. Stiles. "I left it on the + mantelpiece." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton hesitated, and, the widow happening to look away, shook his + fist at his superior officer. +</p> +<p> + "Look sharp," said Mr. Stiles, in a peremptory voice. +</p> +<p> + "I'm very sorry, sir," said Mr. Burton, whose wits were being sharpened + by misfortune, "but I broke it." +</p> +<p> + "Broke it?" repeated the other. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, sir," said Mr. Burton. "I knocked it on the floor and trod on it + by accident; smashed it to powder." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles rated him roundly for his carelessness, and asked him whether + he knew that it was a present from the Italian Ambassador. +</p> +<p> + "Burton was always a clumsy man," he said, turning to the widow. "He had + the name for it when he was on the <i>Destruction</i> with me; 'Bungling + Burton' they called him." +</p> +<p> + He divided the rest of the evening between flirting and recounting + various anecdotes of Mr. Burton, none of which were at all flattering + either to his intelligence or to his sobriety, and the victim, after one + or two futile attempts at contradiction, sat in helpless wrath as he saw + the infatuation of the widow. They were barely clear of the house before + his pent-up emotions fell in an avalanche of words on the faithless Mr. + Stiles. +</p> +<p> + "I can't help being good-looking," said the latter, with a smirk. +</p> +<p> + "Your good looks wouldn't hurt anybody," said Mr. Burton, in a grating + voice; "it's the admiral business that fetches her. It's turned 'er + head." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles smiled. "She'll say 'snap' to my 'snip' any time," he + remarked. "And remember, George, there'll always be a knife and fork + laid for you when you like to come." +</p> +<p> + "I dessay," retorted Mr. Burton, with a dreadful sneer. "Only as it + happens I'm going to tell 'er the truth about you first thing to-morrow + morning. If I can't have 'er you sha'n't." +</p> +<p> + "That'll spoil your chance, too," said Mr. Stiles. "She'd never forgive + you for fooling her like that. It seems a pity neither of us should get + her." +</p> +<p> + "You're a sarpent," exclaimed Mr. Burton, savagely—"a sarpent that I've + warmed in my bosom and——" +</p> +<p> + "There's no call to be indelicate, George," said Mr. Stiles, reprovingly, + as he paused at the door of the house. "Let's sit down and talk it over + quietly." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton followed him into the room and, taking a chair, waited. +</p> +<p> + "It's evident she's struck with me," said Mr. Stiles, slowly; "it's also + evident that if you tell her the truth it might spoil my chances. I + don't say it would, but it might. That being so, I'm agreeable to going + back without seeing her again by the six-forty train to-morrow morning if + it's made worth my while." +</p> +<p> + "Made worth your while?" repeated the other. +</p> +<p> + "Certainly," said the unblushing Mr. Stiles. "She's not a bad-looking + woman—for her age—and it's a snug little business." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton, suppressing his choler, affected to ponder. "If 'arf a + sovereign—" he said, at last. +</p> +<p> + "Half a fiddlestick!" said the other, impatiently. "I want ten pounds. + You've just drawn your pension, and, besides, you've been a saving man + all your life." +</p> +<p> + "Ten pounds?" gasped the other. "D'ye think I've got a gold-mine in the + back garden?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles leaned back in his chair and crossed his feet. "I don't go + for a penny less," he said, firmly. "Ten pounds and my ticket back. If + you call me any more o' those names I'll make it twelve." +</p> +<p> + "And what am I to explain to Mrs. Dutton?" demanded Mr. Burton, after a + quarter of an hour's altercation. +</p> +<p> + "Anything you like," said his generous friend. "Tell her I'm engaged to + my cousin, and our marriage keeps being put off and off on account of my + eccentric behaviour. And you can say that that was caused by a splinter + of a shell striking my head. Tell any lies you like; I shall never turn + up again to contradict them. If she tries to find out things about the + admiral, remind her that she promised to keep his visit here secret." +</p> +<p> + For over an hour Mr. Burton sat weighing the advantages and disadvantages + of this proposal, and then—Mr. Stiles refusing to seal the bargain + without—shook hands upon it and went off to bed in a state of mind + hovering between homicide and lunacy. +</p> +<p> + He was up in good time next morning, and, returning the shortest possible + answers to the remarks of Mr. Stiles, who was in excellent feather, went + with him to the railway station to be certain of his departure. +</p> +<p> + It was a delightful morning, cool and bright, and, despite his + misfortunes. Mr. Burton's spirits began to rise as he thought of his + approaching deliverance. Gloom again overtook him at the booking-office, + where the unconscionable Mr. Stiles insisted firmly upon a first-class + ticket. +</p> +<p> + "Who ever heard of an admiral riding third?" he demanded, indignantly. +</p> +<p> + "But they don't know you're an admiral," urged Mr. Burton, trying to + humour him. +</p> +<p> + "No; but I feel like one," said Mr. Stiles, slapping his pocket. "I've + always felt curious to see what it feels like travelling first-class; + besides, you can tell Mrs. Dutton." +</p> +<p> + "I could tell 'er that in any case," returned Mr. Burton. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles looked shocked, and, time pressing, Mr. Burton, breathing so + hard that it impeded his utterance, purchased a first-class ticket and + conducted him to the carriage. Mr. Stiles took a seat by the window and + lolling back put his foot up on the cushions opposite. A large bell rang + and the carriage-doors were slammed. +</p> +<p> + "Good-bye, George," said the traveller, putting his head to the window. + "I've enjoyed my visit very much." +</p> +<p> + "Good riddance," said Mr. Burton, savagely. +</p> +<a name="image-71"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="071.jpg" height="733" width="458" +alt="''good Riddance,' Said Mr. Burton, Savagely.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Mr. Stiles shook his head. "I'm letting you off easy," he said, slowly. + "If it hadn't ha' been for one little thing I'd have had the widow + myself." +</p> +<p> + "What little thing?" demanded the other, as the train began to glide + slowly out. +</p> +<p> + "My wife," said Mr. Stiles, as a huge smile spread slowly over his face. + "Good-bye, George, and don't forget to give my love when you go round." +</p> + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Admiral Peters, by W.W. 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Jacobs + +Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12214] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ADMIRAL PETERS *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +ADMIRAL PETERS + +Mr. George Burton, naval pensioner, sat at the door of his lodgings +gazing in placid content at the sea. It was early summer, and the air +was heavy with the scent of flowers; Mr. Burton's pipe was cold and +empty, and his pouch upstairs. He shook his head gently as he realised +this, and, yielding to the drowsy quiet of his surroundings, laid aside +the useless pipe and fell into a doze. + +[Illustration: "Sat at the door of his lodgings gazing in placid content +at the sea."] + +He was awakened half an hour later by the sound of footsteps. A tall, +strongly built man was approaching from the direction of the town, and +Mr. Burton, as he gazed at him sleepily, began to wonder where he had +seen him before. Even when the stranger stopped and stood smiling down +at him his memory proved unequal to the occasion, and he sat staring at +the handsome, shaven face, with its little fringe of grey whisker, +waiting for enlightenment. + +"George, my buck," said the stranger, giving him a hearty slap on the +shoulder, "how goes it?" "D--- _Bless_ my eyes, I mean," said Mr. +Burton, correcting himself, "if it ain't Joe Stiles. I didn't know you +without your beard." + +"That's me," said the other. "It's quite by accident I heard where you +were living, George; I offered to go and sling my hammock with old Dingle +for a week or two, and he told me. Nice quiet little place, Seacombe. +Ah, you were lucky to get your pension, George." + +"I deserved it," said Mr. Burton, sharply, as he fancied he detected +something ambiguous in his friend's remark. + +"Of course you did," said Mr. Stiles; "so did I, but I didn't get it. +Well, it's a poor heart that never rejoices. What about that drink you +were speaking of, George?" + +"I hardly ever touch anything now," replied his friend. + +"I was thinking about myself," said Mr. Stiles. "I can't bear the stuff, +but the doctor says I must have it. You know what doctors are, George!" + +Mr. Burton did not deign to reply, but led the way indoors. + +"Very comfortable quarters, George," remarked Mr. Stiles, gazing round +the room approvingly; "ship-shape and tidy. I'm glad I met old Dingle. +Why, I might never ha' seen you again; and us such pals, too." + +His host grunted, and from the back of a small cupboard, produced a +bottle of whisky and a glass, and set them on the table. After a +momentary hesitation he found another glass. + +"Our noble selves," said Mr. Stiles, with a tinge of reproach in his +tones, "and may we never forget old friendships." + +Mr. Burton drank the toast. "I hardly know what it's like now, Joe," he +said, slowly. "You wouldn't believe how soon you can lose the taste for +it." + +Mr. Stiles said he would take his word for it. "You've got some nice +little public-houses about here, too," he remarked. "There's one I +passed called the Cock and Flowerpot; nice cosy little place it would be +to spend the evening in." + +"I never go there," said Mr. Burton, hastily. "I--a friend o' mine here +doesn't approve o' public-'ouses." + +"What's the matter with him?" inquired his friend, anxiously. + +"It's--it's a 'er," said Mr. Burton, in some confusion. + +Mr. Stiles threw himself back in his chair and eyed him with amazement. +Then, recovering his presence of mind, he reached out his hand for the +bottle. + +"We'll drink her health," he said, in a deep voice. "What's her name?" + +"Mrs. Dutton," was the reply. + +Mr. Stiles, with one hand on his heart, toasted her feelingly; then, +filling up again, he drank to the "happy couple." + +"She's very strict about drink," said Mr. Burton, eyeing these +proceedings with some severity. + +"Any--dibs?" inquired Mr. Stiles, slapping a pocket which failed to ring +in response. + +"She's comfortable," replied the other, awkwardly. "Got a little +stationer's shop in the town; steady, old-fashioned business. She's +chapel, and very strict." + +"Just what you want," remarked Mr. Stiles, placing his glass on the +table. "What d'ye say to a stroll?" + +Mr. Burton assented, and, having replaced the black bottle in the +cupboard, led the way along the cliffs toward the town some half-mile +distant, Mr. Stiles beguiling the way by narrating his adventures since +they had last met. A certain swagger and richness of deportment were +explained by his statement that he had been on the stage. + +"Only walking on," he said, with a shake of his head. "The only speaking +part I ever had was a cough. You ought to ha' heard that cough, George!" + +Mr. Burton politely voiced his regrets and watched him anxiously. Mr. +Stiles, shaking his head over a somewhat unsuccessful career, was making +a bee-line for the Cock and Flowerpot. + +"Just for a small soda," he explained, and, once inside, changed his mind +and had whisky instead. Mr. Burton, sacrificing principle to friendship, +had one with him. The bar more than fulfilled Mr. Stiles's ideas as to +its cosiness, and within the space of ten minutes he was on excellent +terms with the regular clients. Into the little, old-world bar, with its +loud-ticking clock, its Windsor-chairs, and its cracked jug full of +roses, he brought a breath of the bustle of the great city and tales of +the great cities beyond the seas. Refreshment was forced upon him, and +Mr. Burton, pleased at his friend's success, shared mildly in his +reception. It was nine o'clock before they departed, and then they only +left to please the landlord. + +"Nice lot o' chaps," said Mr. Stiles, as he stumbled out into the sweet, +cool air. "Catch hold--o' my--arm, George. Brace me--up a bit." + +Mr. Burton complied, and his friend, reassured as to his footing, burst +into song. In a stentorian voice he sang the latest song from comic +opera, and then with an adjuration to Mr. Burton to see what he was +about, and not to let him trip, he began, in a lumbering fashion, to +dance. + +Mr. Burton, still propping him up, trod a measure with fewer steps, and +cast uneasy glances up the lonely road. On their left the sea broke +quietly on the beach below; on their right were one or two scattered +cottages, at the doors of which an occasional figure appeared to gaze +in mute astonishment at the proceedings. + +"Dance, George," said Mr. Stiles, who found his friend rather an +encumbrance. + +"Hs'h! Stop!" cried the frantic Mr. Burton, as he caught sight of a +woman's figure bidding farewell in a lighted doorway. + +Mr. Stiles replied with a stentorian roar, and Mr. Burton, clinging +despairingly to his jigging friend lest a worse thing should happen, cast +an imploring glance at Mrs. Dutton as they danced by. The evening was +still light enough for him to see her face, and he piloted the corybantic +Mr. Stiles the rest of the way home in a mood which accorded but ill with +his steps. + +His manner at breakfast next morning was so offensive that Mr. Stiles, +who had risen fresh as a daisy and been out to inhale the air on the +cliffs, was somewhat offended. + +"You go down and see her," he said, anxiously. "Don't lose a moment; and +explain to her that it was the sea-air acting on an old sunstroke." + +"She ain't a fool," said Mr. Burton, gloomily. + +He finished his breakfast in silence, and, leaving the repentant Mr. +Stiles sitting in the doorway with a pipe, went down to the widow's to +make the best explanation he could think of on the way. Mrs. Dutton's +fresh-coloured face changed as he entered the shop, and her still good +eyes regarded him with scornful interrogation. + +"I--saw you last night," began Mr. Burton, timidly. + +"I saw you, too," said Mrs. Dutton. "I couldn't believe my eyesight at +first." + +"It was an old shipmate of mine," said Mr. Burton. "He hadn't seen me +for years, and I suppose the sight of me upset 'im." + +"I dare say," replied the widow; "that and the Cock and Flowerpot, too. +I heard about it." + +"He would go," said the unfortunate. + +"You needn't have gone," was the reply. + +"I 'ad to," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp; "he--he's an old officer o' +mine, and it wouldn't ha' been discipline for me to refuse." + +"Officer?" repeated Mrs. Dutton. + +"My old admiral," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp that nearly choked him. +"You've heard me speak of Admiral Peters?" + +"_Admiral?_" gasped the astonished widow. + +"What, a-carrying on like that?" + +"He's a reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton. "He's staying with me, +but of course 'e don't want it known who he is. I couldn't refuse to +'ave a drink with 'im. I was under orders, so to speak." + +"No, I suppose not," said Mrs. Dutton, softening. "Fancy him staying +with you!" + +"He just run down for the night, but I expect he'll be going 'ome in an +hour or two," said Mr. Burton, who saw an excellent reason now for +hastening his guest's departure. + +Mrs. Dutton's face fell. "Dear me," she murmured, "I should have liked +to have seen him; you have told me so much about him. If he doesn't go +quite so soon, and you would like to bring him here when you come +to-night, I'm sure I should be very pleased." + +"I'll mention it to 'im," said Mr. Burton, marvelling at the change in +her manner. + +"Didn't you say once that he was uncle to Lord Buckfast?" inquired Mrs. +Dutton, casually. + +"Yes," said Mr. Burton, with unnecessary doggedness; "I did." + +"The idea of an admiral staying with you!" said Mrs. Dutton. + +"Reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton again; "and, besides, he don't +want it known. It's a secret between us three, Mrs. Dutton." + +"To be sure," said the widow. "You can tell the admiral that I shall not +mention it to a soul," she added, mincingly. + +Mr. Burton thanked her and withdrew, lest Mr. Stiles should follow him up +before apprised of his sudden promotion. He found that gentleman, +however, still sitting at the front door, smoking serenely. + +"I'll stay with you for a week or two," said Mr. Stiles, briskly, as soon +as the other had told his story. "It'll do you a world o' good to be +seen on friendly terms with an admiral, and I'll put in a good word for +you." + +Mr. Burton shook his head. "No, she might find out," he said, slowly. +"I think that the best thing is for you to go home after dinner, Joe, and +just give 'er a look in on the way, p'r'aps. You could say a lot o' +things about me in 'arf an hour." + +"No, George," said Mr. Stiles, beaming on him kindly; "when I put my hand +to the plough I don't draw back. It's a good speaking part, too, an +admiral's. I wonder whether I might use old Peters's language." + +"Certainly not," said Mr. Burton, in alarm. + +"You don't know how particular she is." + +Mr. Stiles sighed, and said that he would do the best he could without +it. He spent most of the day on the beach smoking, and when evening came +shaved himself with extreme care and brushed his serge suit with great +perseverance in preparation for his visit. + +Mr. Burton performed the ceremony of introduction with some awkwardness; +Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which was not without +distinction; and Mrs. Dutton, in a black silk dress and the cameo brooch +which had belonged to her mother, was no less important. Mr. Burton had +an odd feeling of inferiority. + +[Illustration: "Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which +was not without distinction."] + +"It's a very small place to ask you to, Admiral Peters," said the widow, +offering him a chair. + +"It's comfortable, ma'am," said Mr. Stiles, looking round approvingly. +"Ah, you should see some of the palaces I've been in abroad; all show and +no comfort. Not a decent chair in the place. And, as for the +antimacassars----" + +"Are you making a long stay, Admiral Peters?" inquired the delighted +widow. + +"It depends," was the reply. "My intention was just to pay a flying +visit to my honest old friend Burton here--best man in my squadron--but +he is so hospitable, he's been pressing me to stay for a few weeks." + +"But the admiral says he must get back to-morrow morning," interposed Mr. +Burton, firmly. + +"Unless I have a letter at breakfast-time, Burton," said Mr. Stiles, +serenely. + +Mr. Burton favoured him with a mutinous scowl. + +"Oh, I do hope you will," said Mrs. Dutton. + +"I have a feeling that I shall," said Mr. Stiles, crossing glances with +his friend. "The only thing is my people; they want me to join them at +Lord Tufton's place." + +Mrs. Dutton trembled with delight at being in the company of a man with +such friends. "What a change shore-life must be to you after the perils +of the sea!" she murmured. + +"Ah!" said Mr. Stiles. "True! True!" + +"The dreadful fighting," said Mrs. Dutton, closing her eyes and +shuddering. + +"You get used to it," said the hero, simply. "Hottest time I had I think +was at the bombardment of Alexandria. I stood alone. All the men who +hadn't been shot down had fled, and the shells were bursting round me +like--like fireworks." + +The widow clasped her hands and shuddered again. + +"I was standing just behind 'im, waiting any orders he might give," said +Mr. Burton. + +"Were you?" said Mr. Stiles, sharply--"were you? I don't remember it, +Burton." + +"Why," said Mr. Burton, with a faint laugh, "I was just behind you, sir. +If you remember, sir, I said to you that it was pretty hot work." + +Mr. Stiles affected to consider. "No, Burton," he said, bluffly--"no; so +far as my memory goes I was the only man there." + +"A bit of a shell knocked my cap off, sir," persisted Mr. Burton, making +laudable efforts to keep his temper. + +"That'll do, my man," said the other, sharply; "not another word. You +forget yourself." + +He turned to the widow and began to chat about "his people" again to +divert her attention from Mr. Burton, who seemed likely to cause +unpleasantness by either bursting a blood-vessel or falling into a fit. + +"My people have heard of Burton," he said, with a slight glance to see +how that injured gentleman was progressing. "He has often shared my +dangers. We have been in many tight places together. Do you remember +those two nights when we were hidden in the chimney at the palace of the +Sultan of Zanzibar, Burton?" + +"I should think I do," said Mr. Burton, recovering somewhat. + +"Stuck so tight we could hardly breathe," continued the other. + +"I shall never forget it as long as I live," said Mr. Burton, who thought +that the other was trying to make amends for his recent indiscretion. + +"Oh, do tell me about it, Admiral Peters," cried Mrs. Dutton. + +"Surely Burton has told you that?" said Mr. Stiles. + +"Never breathed a word of it," said the widow, gazing somewhat +reproachfully at the discomfited Mr. Burton. + +"Well, tell it now, Burton," said Mr. Stiles. + +"You tell it better than I do, sir," said the other. + +"No, no," said Mr. Stiles, whose powers of invention were not always to +be relied upon. "You tell it; it's your story." + +The widow looked from one to the other. "It's your story, sir," said Mr. +Burton. + +"No, I won't tell it," said Mr. Stiles. "It wouldn't be fair to you, +Burton. I'd forgotten that when I spoke. Of course, you were young at +the time, still----" + +"I done nothing that I'm ashamed of, sir," said Mr. Burton, trembling +with passion. + +"I think it's very hard if I'm not to hear it," said Mrs. Dutton, with +her most fascinating air. + +Mr. Stiles gave her a significant glance, and screwing up his lips nodded +in the direction of Mr. Burton. + +"At any rate, you were in the chimney with me, sir," said that +unfortunate. + +"Ah!" said the other, severely. "But what was I there for, my man?" + +Mr. Burton could not tell him; he could only stare at him in a frenzy of +passion and dismay. + +"What were you there for, Admiral Peters?" inquired Mrs. Dutton. + +"I was there, ma'am," said the unspeakable Mr. Stiles, slowly--"I was +there to save the life of Burton. I never deserted my men---never. +Whatever scrapes they got into I always did my best to get them out. +News was brought to me that Burton was suffocating in the chimney of the +Sultan's favourite wife, and I----" + +"Sultan's favourite wife!" gasped Mrs. Dutton, staring hard at Mr. +Burton, who had collapsed in his chair and was regarding the ingenious +Mr. Stiles with open-mouthed stupefaction. "Good gracious! I--I never +heard of such a thing. I am surprised!" + +"So am I," said Mr. Burton, thickly. "I--I---" + +"How did you escape, Admiral Peters?" inquired the widow, turning from +the flighty Burton in indignation. + +Mr. Stiles shook his head. "To tell you that would be to bring the +French Consul into it," he said, gently. "I oughtn't to have mentioned +the subject at all. Burton had the good sense not to." + +The widow murmured acquiescence, and stole a look at the prosaic figure +of the latter gentleman which was full of scornful curiosity. With some +diffidence she invited the admiral to stay to supper, and was obviously +delighted when he accepted. + +In the character of admiral Mr. Stiles enjoyed himself amazingly, his one +regret being that no discriminating theatrical manager was present to +witness his performance. His dignity increased as the evening wore on, +and from good-natured patronage of the unfortunate Burton he progressed +gradually until he was shouting at him. Once, when he had occasion to +ask Mr. Burton if he intended to contradict him, his appearance was so +terrible that his hostess turned pale and trembled with excitement. + +Mr. Burton adopted the air for his own use as soon as they were clear of +Mrs. Dutton's doorstep, and in good round terms demanded of Mr. Stiles +what he meant by it. + +"It was a difficult part to play, George," responded his friend. "We +ought to have rehearsed it a bit. I did the best I could." + +"Best you could?" stormed Mr. Burton. "Telling lies and ordering me +about?" + +"I had to play the part without any preparation, George," said the other, +firmly. "You got yourself into the difficulty by saying that I was the +admiral in the first place. I'll do better next time we go." + +Mr. Burton, with a nasty scowl, said that there was not going to be any +next time, but Mr. Stiles smiled as one having superior information. +Deaf first to hints and then to requests to seek his pleasure elsewhere, +he stayed on, and Mr. Burton was soon brought to realise the difficulties +which beset the path of the untruthful. + +The very next visit introduced a fresh complication, it being evident to +the most indifferent spectator that Mr. Stiles and the widow were getting +on very friendly terms. Glances of unmistakable tenderness passed +between them, and on the occasion of the third visit Mr. Burton sat an +amazed and scandalised spectator of a flirtation of the most pronounced +description. A despairing attempt on his part to lead the conversation +into safer and, to his mind, more becoming channels only increased his +discomfiture. Neither of them took any notice of it, and a minute later +Mr. Stiles called the widow a "saucy little baggage," and said that she +reminded him of the Duchess of Marford. + +[Illustration: "'Mr. Stiles called the widow a 'saucy little baggage.'"] + +"I used to think she was the most charming woman in England," he said, +meaningly. + +Mrs. Dutton simpered and looked down; Mr. Stiles moved his chair a little +closer to her, and then glanced thoughtfully at his friend. + +"Burton," he said. + +"Sir," snapped the other. + +"Run back and fetch my pipe for me," said Mr. Stiles. "I left it on the +mantelpiece." + +Mr. Burton hesitated, and, the widow happening to look away, shook his +fist at his superior officer. + +"Look sharp," said Mr. Stiles, in a peremptory voice. + +"I'm very sorry, sir," said Mr. Burton, whose wits were being sharpened +by misfortune, "but I broke it." + +"Broke it?" repeated the other. + +"Yes, sir," said Mr. Burton. "I knocked it on the floor and trod on it +by accident; smashed it to powder." + +Mr. Stiles rated him roundly for his carelessness, and asked him whether +he knew that it was a present from the Italian Ambassador. + +"Burton was always a clumsy man," he said, turning to the widow. "He had +the name for it when he was on the _Destruction_ with me; 'Bungling +Burton' they called him." + +He divided the rest of the evening between flirting and recounting +various anecdotes of Mr. Burton, none of which were at all flattering +either to his intelligence or to his sobriety, and the victim, after one +or two futile attempts at contradiction, sat in helpless wrath as he saw +the infatuation of the widow. They were barely clear of the house before +his pent-up emotions fell in an avalanche of words on the faithless Mr. +Stiles. + +"I can't help being good-looking," said the latter, with a smirk. + +"Your good looks wouldn't hurt anybody," said Mr. Burton, in a grating +voice; "it's the admiral business that fetches her. It's turned 'er +head." + +Mr. Stiles smiled. "She'll say 'snap' to my 'snip' any time," he +remarked. "And remember, George, there'll always be a knife and fork +laid for you when you like to come." + +"I dessay," retorted Mr. Burton, with a dreadful sneer. "Only as it +happens I'm going to tell 'er the truth about you first thing to-morrow +morning. If I can't have 'er you sha'n't." + +"That'll spoil your chance, too," said Mr. Stiles. "She'd never forgive +you for fooling her like that. It seems a pity neither of us should get +her." + +"You're a sarpent," exclaimed Mr. Burton, savagely--"a sarpent that I've +warmed in my bosom and----" + +"There's no call to be indelicate, George," said Mr. Stiles, reprovingly, +as he paused at the door of the house. "Let's sit down and talk it over +quietly." + +Mr. Burton followed him into the room and, taking a chair, waited. + +"It's evident she's struck with me," said Mr. Stiles, slowly; "it's also +evident that if you tell her the truth it might spoil my chances. I +don't say it would, but it might. That being so, I'm agreeable to going +back without seeing her again by the six-forty train to-morrow morning if +it's made worth my while." + +"Made worth your while?" repeated the other. + +"Certainly," said the unblushing Mr. Stiles. "She's not a bad-looking +woman--for her age--and it's a snug little business." + +Mr. Burton, suppressing his choler, affected to ponder. "If 'arf a +sovereign--" he said, at last. + +"Half a fiddlestick!" said the other, impatiently. "I want ten pounds. +You've just drawn your pension, and, besides, you've been a saving man +all your life." + +"Ten pounds?" gasped the other. "D'ye think I've got a gold-mine in the +back garden?" + +Mr. Stiles leaned back in his chair and crossed his feet. "I don't go +for a penny less," he said, firmly. "Ten pounds and my ticket back. If +you call me any more o' those names I'll make it twelve." + +"And what am I to explain to Mrs. Dutton?" demanded Mr. Burton, after a +quarter of an hour's altercation. + +"Anything you like," said his generous friend. "Tell her I'm engaged to +my cousin, and our marriage keeps being put off and off on account of my +eccentric behaviour. And you can say that that was caused by a splinter +of a shell striking my head. Tell any lies you like; I shall never turn +up again to contradict them. If she tries to find out things about the +admiral, remind her that she promised to keep his visit here secret." + +For over an hour Mr. Burton sat weighing the advantages and disadvantages +of this proposal, and then--Mr. Stiles refusing to seal the bargain +without--shook hands upon it and went off to bed in a state of mind +hovering between homicide and lunacy. + +He was up in good time next morning, and, returning the shortest possible +answers to the remarks of Mr. Stiles, who was in excellent feather, went +with him to the railway station to be certain of his departure. + +It was a delightful morning, cool and bright, and, despite his +misfortunes. Mr. Burton's spirits began to rise as he thought of his +approaching deliverance. Gloom again overtook him at the booking-office, +where the unconscionable Mr. Stiles insisted firmly upon a first-class +ticket. + +"Who ever heard of an admiral riding third?" he demanded, indignantly. + +"But they don't know you're an admiral," urged Mr. Burton, trying to +humour him. + +"No; but I feel like one," said Mr. Stiles, slapping his pocket. "I've +always felt curious to see what it feels like travelling first-class; +besides, you can tell Mrs. Dutton." + +"I could tell 'er that in any case," returned Mr. Burton. + +Mr. Stiles looked shocked, and, time pressing, Mr. Burton, breathing so +hard that it impeded his utterance, purchased a first-class ticket and +conducted him to the carriage. Mr. Stiles took a seat by the window and +lolling back put his foot up on the cushions opposite. A large bell rang +and the carriage-doors were slammed. + +"Good-bye, George," said the traveller, putting his head to the window. +"I've enjoyed my visit very much." + +"Good riddance," said Mr. Burton, savagely. + + +[Illustration: "'Good riddance,' said Mr. Burton, savagely."] + +Mr. Stiles shook his head. "I'm letting you off easy," he said, slowly. +"If it hadn't ha' been for one little thing I'd have had the widow +myself." + +"What little thing?" demanded the other, as the train began to glide +slowly out. + +"My wife," said Mr. Stiles, as a huge smile spread slowly over his face. +"Good-bye, George, and don't forget to give my love when you go round." + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Admiral Peters, by W.W. 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W. Jacobs: Part 14 +</title> + +<style type="text/css"> + <!-- + P { text-indent: 1em; + margin: 15%; + margin-top: .75em; + text-align: justify; + margin-bottom: .75em; } + H1,H2,H3,H4,H5,H6 { text-align: center; } + HR { width: 33%; } + PRE { font-family: cursive} + .toc { margin-left: 15%; margin-bottom: 0em;} + CENTER { padding: 10px;} + // --> +</style> + +</head> +<body> + + +<pre> + +The Project Gutenberg EBook of Admiral Peters, by W.W. Jacobs + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: Admiral Peters + Odd Craft, Part 14. + +Author: W.W. Jacobs + +Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12214] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ADMIRAL PETERS *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + + +</pre> + + + +<br><br> +<center> +<img alt="title (42K)" src="title.jpg" height="658" width="479" /> +</center> +<br><br> +<br /><br /> +<h2> + 1909 +</h2> + +<center> +<h3>PART 14.</h3> +</center> + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + +<h2>List of Illustrations</h2> + + + + + + +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-68"> +"Sat at the Door of his Lodgings Gazing in Placid Content +At the Sea." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-69"> +"Mr. Stiles Was Affecting a Stateliness of Manner Which +Was Not Without Distinction." +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-70"> +"'Mr. Stiles Called the Widow a 'saucy Little Baggage.'" +</a></p> +<p class="toc"><a href="#image-71"> +"'Good Riddance,' Said Mr. Burton, Savagely." +</a></p> + + + + + + + +<br /><br /> +<hr> +<br /><br /> + + + +<a name="2H_4_14"><!-- H2 anchor --></a> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<p> </p> +<h2> + ADMIRAL PETERS +</h2> +<p> + Mr. George Burton, naval pensioner, sat at the door of his lodgings + gazing in placid content at the sea. It was early summer, and the air + was heavy with the scent of flowers; Mr. Burton's pipe was cold and + empty, and his pouch upstairs. He shook his head gently as he realised + this, and, yielding to the drowsy quiet of his surroundings, laid aside + the useless pipe and fell into a doze. +</p> +<a name="image-68"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="068.jpg" height="430" width="567" +alt="'sat at the Door of his Lodgings Gazing in Placid Content +At the Sea.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + He was awakened half an hour later by the sound of footsteps. A tall, + strongly built man was approaching from the direction of the town, and + Mr. Burton, as he gazed at him sleepily, began to wonder where he had + seen him before. Even when the stranger stopped and stood smiling down + at him his memory proved unequal to the occasion, and he sat staring at + the handsome, shaven face, with its little fringe of grey whisker, + waiting for enlightenment. +</p> +<p> + "George, my buck," said the stranger, giving him a hearty slap on the + shoulder, "how goes it?" "D—- <i>Bless</i> my eyes, I mean," said Mr. + Burton, correcting himself, "if it ain't Joe Stiles. I didn't know you + without your beard." +</p> +<p> + "That's me," said the other. "It's quite by accident I heard where you + were living, George; I offered to go and sling my hammock with old Dingle + for a week or two, and he told me. Nice quiet little place, Seacombe. + Ah, you were lucky to get your pension, George." +</p> +<p> + "I deserved it," said Mr. Burton, sharply, as he fancied he detected + something ambiguous in his friend's remark. +</p> +<p> + "Of course you did," said Mr. Stiles; "so did I, but I didn't get it. + Well, it's a poor heart that never rejoices. What about that drink you + were speaking of, George?" +</p> +<p> + "I hardly ever touch anything now," replied his friend. +</p> +<p> + "I was thinking about myself," said Mr. Stiles. "I can't bear the stuff, + but the doctor says I must have it. You know what doctors are, George!" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton did not deign to reply, but led the way indoors. +</p> +<p> + "Very comfortable quarters, George," remarked Mr. Stiles, gazing round + the room approvingly; "ship-shape and tidy. I'm glad I met old Dingle. + Why, I might never ha' seen you again; and us such pals, too." +</p> +<p> + His host grunted, and from the back of a small cupboard, produced a + bottle of whisky and a glass, and set them on the table. After a + momentary hesitation he found another glass. +</p> +<p> + "Our noble selves," said Mr. Stiles, with a tinge of reproach in his + tones, "and may we never forget old friendships." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton drank the toast. "I hardly know what it's like now, Joe," he + said, slowly. "You wouldn't believe how soon you can lose the taste for + it." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles said he would take his word for it. "You've got some nice + little public-houses about here, too," he remarked. "There's one I + passed called the Cock and Flowerpot; nice cosy little place it would be + to spend the evening in." +</p> +<p> + "I never go there," said Mr. Burton, hastily. "I—a friend o' mine here + doesn't approve o' public-'ouses." +</p> +<p> + "What's the matter with him?" inquired his friend, anxiously. +</p> +<p> + "It's—it's a 'er," said Mr. Burton, in some confusion. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles threw himself back in his chair and eyed him with amazement. + Then, recovering his presence of mind, he reached out his hand for the + bottle. +</p> +<p> + "We'll drink her health," he said, in a deep voice. "What's her name?" +</p> +<p> + "Mrs. Dutton," was the reply. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles, with one hand on his heart, toasted her feelingly; then, + filling up again, he drank to the "happy couple." +</p> +<p> + "She's very strict about drink," said Mr. Burton, eyeing these + proceedings with some severity. +</p> +<p> + "Any—dibs?" inquired Mr. Stiles, slapping a pocket which failed to ring + in response. +</p> +<p> + "She's comfortable," replied the other, awkwardly. "Got a little + stationer's shop in the town; steady, old-fashioned business. She's + chapel, and very strict." +</p> +<p> + "Just what you want," remarked Mr. Stiles, placing his glass on the + table. "What d'ye say to a stroll?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton assented, and, having replaced the black bottle in the + cupboard, led the way along the cliffs toward the town some half-mile + distant, Mr. Stiles beguiling the way by narrating his adventures since + they had last met. A certain swagger and richness of deportment were + explained by his statement that he had been on the stage. +</p> +<p> + "Only walking on," he said, with a shake of his head. "The only speaking + part I ever had was a cough. You ought to ha' heard that cough, George!" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton politely voiced his regrets and watched him anxiously. Mr. + Stiles, shaking his head over a somewhat unsuccessful career, was making + a bee-line for the Cock and Flowerpot. +</p> +<p> + "Just for a small soda," he explained, and, once inside, changed his mind + and had whisky instead. Mr. Burton, sacrificing principle to friendship, + had one with him. The bar more than fulfilled Mr. Stiles's ideas as to + its cosiness, and within the space of ten minutes he was on excellent + terms with the regular clients. Into the little, old-world bar, with its + loud-ticking clock, its Windsor-chairs, and its cracked jug full of + roses, he brought a breath of the bustle of the great city and tales of + the great cities beyond the seas. Refreshment was forced upon him, and + Mr. Burton, pleased at his friend's success, shared mildly in his + reception. It was nine o'clock before they departed, and then they only + left to please the landlord. +</p> +<p> + "Nice lot o' chaps," said Mr. Stiles, as he stumbled out into the sweet, + cool air. "Catch hold—o' my—arm, George. Brace me—up a bit." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton complied, and his friend, reassured as to his footing, burst + into song. In a stentorian voice he sang the latest song from comic + opera, and then with an adjuration to Mr. Burton to see what he was + about, and not to let him trip, he began, in a lumbering fashion, to + dance. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton, still propping him up, trod a measure with fewer steps, and + cast uneasy glances up the lonely road. On their left the sea broke + quietly on the beach below; on their right were one or two scattered + cottages, at the doors of which an occasional figure appeared to gaze + in mute astonishment at the proceedings. +</p> +<p> + "Dance, George," said Mr. Stiles, who found his friend rather an + encumbrance. +</p> +<p> + "Hs'h! Stop!" cried the frantic Mr. Burton, as he caught sight of a + woman's figure bidding farewell in a lighted doorway. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles replied with a stentorian roar, and Mr. Burton, clinging + despairingly to his jigging friend lest a worse thing should happen, cast + an imploring glance at Mrs. Dutton as they danced by. The evening was + still light enough for him to see her face, and he piloted the corybantic + Mr. Stiles the rest of the way home in a mood which accorded but ill with + his steps. +</p> +<p> + His manner at breakfast next morning was so offensive that Mr. Stiles, + who had risen fresh as a daisy and been out to inhale the air on the + cliffs, was somewhat offended. +</p> +<p> + "You go down and see her," he said, anxiously. "Don't lose a moment; and + explain to her that it was the sea-air acting on an old sunstroke." +</p> +<p> + "She ain't a fool," said Mr. Burton, gloomily. +</p> +<p> + He finished his breakfast in silence, and, leaving the repentant Mr. + Stiles sitting in the doorway with a pipe, went down to the widow's to + make the best explanation he could think of on the way. Mrs. Dutton's + fresh-coloured face changed as he entered the shop, and her still good + eyes regarded him with scornful interrogation. +</p> +<p> + "I—saw you last night," began Mr. Burton, timidly. +</p> +<p> + "I saw you, too," said Mrs. Dutton. "I couldn't believe my eyesight at + first." +</p> +<p> + "It was an old shipmate of mine," said Mr. Burton. "He hadn't seen me + for years, and I suppose the sight of me upset 'im." +</p> +<p> + "I dare say," replied the widow; "that and the Cock and Flowerpot, too. + I heard about it." +</p> +<p> + "He would go," said the unfortunate. +</p> +<p> + "You needn't have gone," was the reply. +</p> +<p> + "I 'ad to," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp; "he—he's an old officer o' + mine, and it wouldn't ha' been discipline for me to refuse." +</p> +<p> + "Officer?" repeated Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "My old admiral," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp that nearly choked him. + "You've heard me speak of Admiral Peters?" +</p> +<p> + "<i>Admiral?</i>" gasped the astonished widow. +</p> +<p> + "What, a-carrying on like that?" +</p> +<p> + "He's a reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton. "He's staying with me, + but of course 'e don't want it known who he is. I couldn't refuse to + 'ave a drink with 'im. I was under orders, so to speak." +</p> +<p> + "No, I suppose not," said Mrs. Dutton, softening. "Fancy him staying + with you!" +</p> +<p> + "He just run down for the night, but I expect he'll be going 'ome in an + hour or two," said Mr. Burton, who saw an excellent reason now for + hastening his guest's departure. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Dutton's face fell. "Dear me," she murmured, "I should have liked + to have seen him; you have told me so much about him. If he doesn't go + quite so soon, and you would like to bring him here when you come + to-night, I'm sure I should be very pleased." +</p> +<p> + "I'll mention it to 'im," said Mr. Burton, marvelling at the change in + her manner. +</p> +<p> + "Didn't you say once that he was uncle to Lord Buckfast?" inquired Mrs. + Dutton, casually. +</p> +<p> + "Yes," said Mr. Burton, with unnecessary doggedness; "I did." +</p> +<p> + "The idea of an admiral staying with you!" said Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "Reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton again; "and, besides, he don't + want it known. It's a secret between us three, Mrs. Dutton." +</p> +<p> + "To be sure," said the widow. "You can tell the admiral that I shall not + mention it to a soul," she added, mincingly. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton thanked her and withdrew, lest Mr. Stiles should follow him up + before apprised of his sudden promotion. He found that gentleman, + however, still sitting at the front door, smoking serenely. +</p> +<p> + "I'll stay with you for a week or two," said Mr. Stiles, briskly, as soon + as the other had told his story. "It'll do you a world o' good to be + seen on friendly terms with an admiral, and I'll put in a good word for + you." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton shook his head. "No, she might find out," he said, slowly. + "I think that the best thing is for you to go home after dinner, Joe, and + just give 'er a look in on the way, p'r'aps. You could say a lot o' + things about me in 'arf an hour." +</p> +<p> + "No, George," said Mr. Stiles, beaming on him kindly; "when I put my hand + to the plough I don't draw back. It's a good speaking part, too, an + admiral's. I wonder whether I might use old Peters's language." +</p> +<p> + "Certainly not," said Mr. Burton, in alarm. +</p> +<p> + "You don't know how particular she is." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles sighed, and said that he would do the best he could without + it. He spent most of the day on the beach smoking, and when evening came + shaved himself with extreme care and brushed his serge suit with great + perseverance in preparation for his visit. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton performed the ceremony of introduction with some awkwardness; + Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which was not without + distinction; and Mrs. Dutton, in a black silk dress and the cameo brooch + which had belonged to her mother, was no less important. Mr. Burton had + an odd feeling of inferiority. +</p> +<a name="image-69"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="069.jpg" height="447" width="489" +alt="'mr. Stiles Was Affecting a Stateliness of Manner Which +Was Not Without Distinction.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "It's a very small place to ask you to, Admiral Peters," said the widow, + offering him a chair. +</p> +<p> + "It's comfortable, ma'am," said Mr. Stiles, looking round approvingly. + "Ah, you should see some of the palaces I've been in abroad; all show and + no comfort. Not a decent chair in the place. And, as for the + antimacassars——" +</p> +<p> + "Are you making a long stay, Admiral Peters?" inquired the delighted + widow. +</p> +<p> + "It depends," was the reply. "My intention was just to pay a flying + visit to my honest old friend Burton here—best man in my squadron—but + he is so hospitable, he's been pressing me to stay for a few weeks." +</p> +<p> + "But the admiral says he must get back to-morrow morning," interposed Mr. + Burton, firmly. +</p> +<p> + "Unless I have a letter at breakfast-time, Burton," said Mr. Stiles, + serenely. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton favoured him with a mutinous scowl. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, I do hope you will," said Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "I have a feeling that I shall," said Mr. Stiles, crossing glances with + his friend. "The only thing is my people; they want me to join them at + Lord Tufton's place." +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Dutton trembled with delight at being in the company of a man with + such friends. "What a change shore-life must be to you after the perils + of the sea!" she murmured. +</p> +<p> + "Ah!" said Mr. Stiles. "True! True!" +</p> +<p> + "The dreadful fighting," said Mrs. Dutton, closing her eyes and + shuddering. +</p> +<p> + "You get used to it," said the hero, simply. "Hottest time I had I think + was at the bombardment of Alexandria. I stood alone. All the men who + hadn't been shot down had fled, and the shells were bursting round me + like—like fireworks." +</p> +<p> + The widow clasped her hands and shuddered again. +</p> +<p> + "I was standing just behind 'im, waiting any orders he might give," said + Mr. Burton. +</p> +<p> + "Were you?" said Mr. Stiles, sharply—"were you? I don't remember it, + Burton." +</p> +<p> + "Why," said Mr. Burton, with a faint laugh, "I was just behind you, sir. + If you remember, sir, I said to you that it was pretty hot work." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles affected to consider. "No, Burton," he said, bluffly—"no; so + far as my memory goes I was the only man there." +</p> +<p> + "A bit of a shell knocked my cap off, sir," persisted Mr. Burton, making + laudable efforts to keep his temper. +</p> +<p> + "That'll do, my man," said the other, sharply; "not another word. You + forget yourself." +</p> +<p> + He turned to the widow and began to chat about "his people" again to + divert her attention from Mr. Burton, who seemed likely to cause + unpleasantness by either bursting a blood-vessel or falling into a fit. +</p> +<p> + "My people have heard of Burton," he said, with a slight glance to see + how that injured gentleman was progressing. "He has often shared my + dangers. We have been in many tight places together. Do you remember + those two nights when we were hidden in the chimney at the palace of the + Sultan of Zanzibar, Burton?" +</p> +<p> + "I should think I do," said Mr. Burton, recovering somewhat. +</p> +<p> + "Stuck so tight we could hardly breathe," continued the other. +</p> +<p> + "I shall never forget it as long as I live," said Mr. Burton, who thought + that the other was trying to make amends for his recent indiscretion. +</p> +<p> + "Oh, do tell me about it, Admiral Peters," cried Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "Surely Burton has told you that?" said Mr. Stiles. +</p> +<p> + "Never breathed a word of it," said the widow, gazing somewhat + reproachfully at the discomfited Mr. Burton. +</p> +<p> + "Well, tell it now, Burton," said Mr. Stiles. +</p> +<p> + "You tell it better than I do, sir," said the other. +</p> +<p> + "No, no," said Mr. Stiles, whose powers of invention were not always to + be relied upon. "You tell it; it's your story." +</p> +<p> + The widow looked from one to the other. "It's your story, sir," said Mr. + Burton. +</p> +<p> + "No, I won't tell it," said Mr. Stiles. "It wouldn't be fair to you, + Burton. I'd forgotten that when I spoke. Of course, you were young at + the time, still——" +</p> +<p> + "I done nothing that I'm ashamed of, sir," said Mr. Burton, trembling + with passion. +</p> +<p> + "I think it's very hard if I'm not to hear it," said Mrs. Dutton, with + her most fascinating air. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles gave her a significant glance, and screwing up his lips nodded + in the direction of Mr. Burton. +</p> +<p> + "At any rate, you were in the chimney with me, sir," said that + unfortunate. +</p> +<p> + "Ah!" said the other, severely. "But what was I there for, my man?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton could not tell him; he could only stare at him in a frenzy of + passion and dismay. +</p> +<p> + "What were you there for, Admiral Peters?" inquired Mrs. Dutton. +</p> +<p> + "I was there, ma'am," said the unspeakable Mr. Stiles, slowly—"I was + there to save the life of Burton. I never deserted my men—-never. + Whatever scrapes they got into I always did my best to get them out. + News was brought to me that Burton was suffocating in the chimney of the + Sultan's favourite wife, and I——" +</p> +<p> + "Sultan's favourite wife!" gasped Mrs. Dutton, staring hard at Mr. + Burton, who had collapsed in his chair and was regarding the ingenious + Mr. Stiles with open-mouthed stupefaction. "Good gracious! I—I never + heard of such a thing. I am surprised!" +</p> +<p> + "So am I," said Mr. Burton, thickly. "I—I—-" +</p> +<p> + "How did you escape, Admiral Peters?" inquired the widow, turning from + the flighty Burton in indignation. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles shook his head. "To tell you that would be to bring the + French Consul into it," he said, gently. "I oughtn't to have mentioned + the subject at all. Burton had the good sense not to." +</p> +<p> + The widow murmured acquiescence, and stole a look at the prosaic figure + of the latter gentleman which was full of scornful curiosity. With some + diffidence she invited the admiral to stay to supper, and was obviously + delighted when he accepted. +</p> +<p> + In the character of admiral Mr. Stiles enjoyed himself amazingly, his one + regret being that no discriminating theatrical manager was present to + witness his performance. His dignity increased as the evening wore on, + and from good-natured patronage of the unfortunate Burton he progressed + gradually until he was shouting at him. Once, when he had occasion to + ask Mr. Burton if he intended to contradict him, his appearance was so + terrible that his hostess turned pale and trembled with excitement. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton adopted the air for his own use as soon as they were clear of + Mrs. Dutton's doorstep, and in good round terms demanded of Mr. Stiles + what he meant by it. +</p> +<p> + "It was a difficult part to play, George," responded his friend. "We + ought to have rehearsed it a bit. I did the best I could." +</p> +<p> + "Best you could?" stormed Mr. Burton. "Telling lies and ordering me + about?" +</p> +<p> + "I had to play the part without any preparation, George," said the other, + firmly. "You got yourself into the difficulty by saying that I was the + admiral in the first place. I'll do better next time we go." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton, with a nasty scowl, said that there was not going to be any + next time, but Mr. Stiles smiled as one having superior information. + Deaf first to hints and then to requests to seek his pleasure elsewhere, + he stayed on, and Mr. Burton was soon brought to realise the difficulties + which beset the path of the untruthful. +</p> +<p> + The very next visit introduced a fresh complication, it being evident to + the most indifferent spectator that Mr. Stiles and the widow were getting + on very friendly terms. Glances of unmistakable tenderness passed + between them, and on the occasion of the third visit Mr. Burton sat an + amazed and scandalised spectator of a flirtation of the most pronounced + description. A despairing attempt on his part to lead the conversation + into safer and, to his mind, more becoming channels only increased his + discomfiture. Neither of them took any notice of it, and a minute later + Mr. Stiles called the widow a "saucy little baggage," and said that she + reminded him of the Duchess of Marford. +</p> +<a name="image-70"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="070.jpg" height="391" width="508" +alt="''mr. Stiles Called the Widow a 'saucy Little Baggage.'' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + "I used to think she was the most charming woman in England," he said, + meaningly. +</p> +<p> + Mrs. Dutton simpered and looked down; Mr. Stiles moved his chair a little + closer to her, and then glanced thoughtfully at his friend. +</p> +<p> + "Burton," he said. +</p> +<p> + "Sir," snapped the other. +</p> +<p> + "Run back and fetch my pipe for me," said Mr. Stiles. "I left it on the + mantelpiece." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton hesitated, and, the widow happening to look away, shook his + fist at his superior officer. +</p> +<p> + "Look sharp," said Mr. Stiles, in a peremptory voice. +</p> +<p> + "I'm very sorry, sir," said Mr. Burton, whose wits were being sharpened + by misfortune, "but I broke it." +</p> +<p> + "Broke it?" repeated the other. +</p> +<p> + "Yes, sir," said Mr. Burton. "I knocked it on the floor and trod on it + by accident; smashed it to powder." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles rated him roundly for his carelessness, and asked him whether + he knew that it was a present from the Italian Ambassador. +</p> +<p> + "Burton was always a clumsy man," he said, turning to the widow. "He had + the name for it when he was on the <i>Destruction</i> with me; 'Bungling + Burton' they called him." +</p> +<p> + He divided the rest of the evening between flirting and recounting + various anecdotes of Mr. Burton, none of which were at all flattering + either to his intelligence or to his sobriety, and the victim, after one + or two futile attempts at contradiction, sat in helpless wrath as he saw + the infatuation of the widow. They were barely clear of the house before + his pent-up emotions fell in an avalanche of words on the faithless Mr. + Stiles. +</p> +<p> + "I can't help being good-looking," said the latter, with a smirk. +</p> +<p> + "Your good looks wouldn't hurt anybody," said Mr. Burton, in a grating + voice; "it's the admiral business that fetches her. It's turned 'er + head." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles smiled. "She'll say 'snap' to my 'snip' any time," he + remarked. "And remember, George, there'll always be a knife and fork + laid for you when you like to come." +</p> +<p> + "I dessay," retorted Mr. Burton, with a dreadful sneer. "Only as it + happens I'm going to tell 'er the truth about you first thing to-morrow + morning. If I can't have 'er you sha'n't." +</p> +<p> + "That'll spoil your chance, too," said Mr. Stiles. "She'd never forgive + you for fooling her like that. It seems a pity neither of us should get + her." +</p> +<p> + "You're a sarpent," exclaimed Mr. Burton, savagely—"a sarpent that I've + warmed in my bosom and——" +</p> +<p> + "There's no call to be indelicate, George," said Mr. Stiles, reprovingly, + as he paused at the door of the house. "Let's sit down and talk it over + quietly." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton followed him into the room and, taking a chair, waited. +</p> +<p> + "It's evident she's struck with me," said Mr. Stiles, slowly; "it's also + evident that if you tell her the truth it might spoil my chances. I + don't say it would, but it might. That being so, I'm agreeable to going + back without seeing her again by the six-forty train to-morrow morning if + it's made worth my while." +</p> +<p> + "Made worth your while?" repeated the other. +</p> +<p> + "Certainly," said the unblushing Mr. Stiles. "She's not a bad-looking + woman—for her age—and it's a snug little business." +</p> +<p> + Mr. Burton, suppressing his choler, affected to ponder. "If 'arf a + sovereign—" he said, at last. +</p> +<p> + "Half a fiddlestick!" said the other, impatiently. "I want ten pounds. + You've just drawn your pension, and, besides, you've been a saving man + all your life." +</p> +<p> + "Ten pounds?" gasped the other. "D'ye think I've got a gold-mine in the + back garden?" +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles leaned back in his chair and crossed his feet. "I don't go + for a penny less," he said, firmly. "Ten pounds and my ticket back. If + you call me any more o' those names I'll make it twelve." +</p> +<p> + "And what am I to explain to Mrs. Dutton?" demanded Mr. Burton, after a + quarter of an hour's altercation. +</p> +<p> + "Anything you like," said his generous friend. "Tell her I'm engaged to + my cousin, and our marriage keeps being put off and off on account of my + eccentric behaviour. And you can say that that was caused by a splinter + of a shell striking my head. Tell any lies you like; I shall never turn + up again to contradict them. If she tries to find out things about the + admiral, remind her that she promised to keep his visit here secret." +</p> +<p> + For over an hour Mr. Burton sat weighing the advantages and disadvantages + of this proposal, and then—Mr. Stiles refusing to seal the bargain + without—shook hands upon it and went off to bed in a state of mind + hovering between homicide and lunacy. +</p> +<p> + He was up in good time next morning, and, returning the shortest possible + answers to the remarks of Mr. Stiles, who was in excellent feather, went + with him to the railway station to be certain of his departure. +</p> +<p> + It was a delightful morning, cool and bright, and, despite his + misfortunes. Mr. Burton's spirits began to rise as he thought of his + approaching deliverance. Gloom again overtook him at the booking-office, + where the unconscionable Mr. Stiles insisted firmly upon a first-class + ticket. +</p> +<p> + "Who ever heard of an admiral riding third?" he demanded, indignantly. +</p> +<p> + "But they don't know you're an admiral," urged Mr. Burton, trying to + humour him. +</p> +<p> + "No; but I feel like one," said Mr. Stiles, slapping his pocket. "I've + always felt curious to see what it feels like travelling first-class; + besides, you can tell Mrs. Dutton." +</p> +<p> + "I could tell 'er that in any case," returned Mr. Burton. +</p> +<p> + Mr. Stiles looked shocked, and, time pressing, Mr. Burton, breathing so + hard that it impeded his utterance, purchased a first-class ticket and + conducted him to the carriage. Mr. Stiles took a seat by the window and + lolling back put his foot up on the cushions opposite. A large bell rang + and the carriage-doors were slammed. +</p> +<p> + "Good-bye, George," said the traveller, putting his head to the window. + "I've enjoyed my visit very much." +</p> +<p> + "Good riddance," said Mr. Burton, savagely. +</p> +<a name="image-71"><!--IMG--></a> +<center> +<img src="071.jpg" height="733" width="458" +alt="''good Riddance,' Said Mr. Burton, Savagely.' +"> +</center> +<!--IMAGE END--> +<p> + Mr. Stiles shook his head. "I'm letting you off easy," he said, slowly. + "If it hadn't ha' been for one little thing I'd have had the widow + myself." +</p> +<p> + "What little thing?" demanded the other, as the train began to glide + slowly out. +</p> +<p> + "My wife," said Mr. Stiles, as a huge smile spread slowly over his face. + "Good-bye, George, and don't forget to give my love when you go round." +</p> + + + + + + + + + + +<pre> + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Admiral Peters, by W.W. 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Jacobs + +Release Date: April 30, 2004 [EBook #12214] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK ADMIRAL PETERS *** + + + + +Produced by David Widger + + + + +ODD CRAFT + +By W.W. Jacobs + + + +ADMIRAL PETERS + +Mr. George Burton, naval pensioner, sat at the door of his lodgings +gazing in placid content at the sea. It was early summer, and the air +was heavy with the scent of flowers; Mr. Burton's pipe was cold and +empty, and his pouch upstairs. He shook his head gently as he realised +this, and, yielding to the drowsy quiet of his surroundings, laid aside +the useless pipe and fell into a doze. + +[Illustration: "Sat at the door of his lodgings gazing in placid content +at the sea."] + +He was awakened half an hour later by the sound of footsteps. A tall, +strongly built man was approaching from the direction of the town, and +Mr. Burton, as he gazed at him sleepily, began to wonder where he had +seen him before. Even when the stranger stopped and stood smiling down +at him his memory proved unequal to the occasion, and he sat staring at +the handsome, shaven face, with its little fringe of grey whisker, +waiting for enlightenment. + +"George, my buck," said the stranger, giving him a hearty slap on the +shoulder, "how goes it?" "D--- _Bless_ my eyes, I mean," said Mr. +Burton, correcting himself, "if it ain't Joe Stiles. I didn't know you +without your beard." + +"That's me," said the other. "It's quite by accident I heard where you +were living, George; I offered to go and sling my hammock with old Dingle +for a week or two, and he told me. Nice quiet little place, Seacombe. +Ah, you were lucky to get your pension, George." + +"I deserved it," said Mr. Burton, sharply, as he fancied he detected +something ambiguous in his friend's remark. + +"Of course you did," said Mr. Stiles; "so did I, but I didn't get it. +Well, it's a poor heart that never rejoices. What about that drink you +were speaking of, George?" + +"I hardly ever touch anything now," replied his friend. + +"I was thinking about myself," said Mr. Stiles. "I can't bear the stuff, +but the doctor says I must have it. You know what doctors are, George!" + +Mr. Burton did not deign to reply, but led the way indoors. + +"Very comfortable quarters, George," remarked Mr. Stiles, gazing round +the room approvingly; "ship-shape and tidy. I'm glad I met old Dingle. +Why, I might never ha' seen you again; and us such pals, too." + +His host grunted, and from the back of a small cupboard, produced a +bottle of whisky and a glass, and set them on the table. After a +momentary hesitation he found another glass. + +"Our noble selves," said Mr. Stiles, with a tinge of reproach in his +tones, "and may we never forget old friendships." + +Mr. Burton drank the toast. "I hardly know what it's like now, Joe," he +said, slowly. "You wouldn't believe how soon you can lose the taste for +it." + +Mr. Stiles said he would take his word for it. "You've got some nice +little public-houses about here, too," he remarked. "There's one I +passed called the Cock and Flowerpot; nice cosy little place it would be +to spend the evening in." + +"I never go there," said Mr. Burton, hastily. "I--a friend o' mine here +doesn't approve o' public-'ouses." + +"What's the matter with him?" inquired his friend, anxiously. + +"It's--it's a 'er," said Mr. Burton, in some confusion. + +Mr. Stiles threw himself back in his chair and eyed him with amazement. +Then, recovering his presence of mind, he reached out his hand for the +bottle. + +"We'll drink her health," he said, in a deep voice. "What's her name?" + +"Mrs. Dutton," was the reply. + +Mr. Stiles, with one hand on his heart, toasted her feelingly; then, +filling up again, he drank to the "happy couple." + +"She's very strict about drink," said Mr. Burton, eyeing these +proceedings with some severity. + +"Any--dibs?" inquired Mr. Stiles, slapping a pocket which failed to ring +in response. + +"She's comfortable," replied the other, awkwardly. "Got a little +stationer's shop in the town; steady, old-fashioned business. She's +chapel, and very strict." + +"Just what you want," remarked Mr. Stiles, placing his glass on the +table. "What d'ye say to a stroll?" + +Mr. Burton assented, and, having replaced the black bottle in the +cupboard, led the way along the cliffs toward the town some half-mile +distant, Mr. Stiles beguiling the way by narrating his adventures since +they had last met. A certain swagger and richness of deportment were +explained by his statement that he had been on the stage. + +"Only walking on," he said, with a shake of his head. "The only speaking +part I ever had was a cough. You ought to ha' heard that cough, George!" + +Mr. Burton politely voiced his regrets and watched him anxiously. Mr. +Stiles, shaking his head over a somewhat unsuccessful career, was making +a bee-line for the Cock and Flowerpot. + +"Just for a small soda," he explained, and, once inside, changed his mind +and had whisky instead. Mr. Burton, sacrificing principle to friendship, +had one with him. The bar more than fulfilled Mr. Stiles's ideas as to +its cosiness, and within the space of ten minutes he was on excellent +terms with the regular clients. Into the little, old-world bar, with its +loud-ticking clock, its Windsor-chairs, and its cracked jug full of +roses, he brought a breath of the bustle of the great city and tales of +the great cities beyond the seas. Refreshment was forced upon him, and +Mr. Burton, pleased at his friend's success, shared mildly in his +reception. It was nine o'clock before they departed, and then they only +left to please the landlord. + +"Nice lot o' chaps," said Mr. Stiles, as he stumbled out into the sweet, +cool air. "Catch hold--o' my--arm, George. Brace me--up a bit." + +Mr. Burton complied, and his friend, reassured as to his footing, burst +into song. In a stentorian voice he sang the latest song from comic +opera, and then with an adjuration to Mr. Burton to see what he was +about, and not to let him trip, he began, in a lumbering fashion, to +dance. + +Mr. Burton, still propping him up, trod a measure with fewer steps, and +cast uneasy glances up the lonely road. On their left the sea broke +quietly on the beach below; on their right were one or two scattered +cottages, at the doors of which an occasional figure appeared to gaze +in mute astonishment at the proceedings. + +"Dance, George," said Mr. Stiles, who found his friend rather an +encumbrance. + +"Hs'h! Stop!" cried the frantic Mr. Burton, as he caught sight of a +woman's figure bidding farewell in a lighted doorway. + +Mr. Stiles replied with a stentorian roar, and Mr. Burton, clinging +despairingly to his jigging friend lest a worse thing should happen, cast +an imploring glance at Mrs. Dutton as they danced by. The evening was +still light enough for him to see her face, and he piloted the corybantic +Mr. Stiles the rest of the way home in a mood which accorded but ill with +his steps. + +His manner at breakfast next morning was so offensive that Mr. Stiles, +who had risen fresh as a daisy and been out to inhale the air on the +cliffs, was somewhat offended. + +"You go down and see her," he said, anxiously. "Don't lose a moment; and +explain to her that it was the sea-air acting on an old sunstroke." + +"She ain't a fool," said Mr. Burton, gloomily. + +He finished his breakfast in silence, and, leaving the repentant Mr. +Stiles sitting in the doorway with a pipe, went down to the widow's to +make the best explanation he could think of on the way. Mrs. Dutton's +fresh-coloured face changed as he entered the shop, and her still good +eyes regarded him with scornful interrogation. + +"I--saw you last night," began Mr. Burton, timidly. + +"I saw you, too," said Mrs. Dutton. "I couldn't believe my eyesight at +first." + +"It was an old shipmate of mine," said Mr. Burton. "He hadn't seen me +for years, and I suppose the sight of me upset 'im." + +"I dare say," replied the widow; "that and the Cock and Flowerpot, too. +I heard about it." + +"He would go," said the unfortunate. + +"You needn't have gone," was the reply. + +"I 'ad to," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp; "he--he's an old officer o' +mine, and it wouldn't ha' been discipline for me to refuse." + +"Officer?" repeated Mrs. Dutton. + +"My old admiral," said Mr. Burton, with a gulp that nearly choked him. +"You've heard me speak of Admiral Peters?" + +"_Admiral?_" gasped the astonished widow. + +"What, a-carrying on like that?" + +"He's a reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton. "He's staying with me, +but of course 'e don't want it known who he is. I couldn't refuse to +'ave a drink with 'im. I was under orders, so to speak." + +"No, I suppose not," said Mrs. Dutton, softening. "Fancy him staying +with you!" + +"He just run down for the night, but I expect he'll be going 'ome in an +hour or two," said Mr. Burton, who saw an excellent reason now for +hastening his guest's departure. + +Mrs. Dutton's face fell. "Dear me," she murmured, "I should have liked +to have seen him; you have told me so much about him. If he doesn't go +quite so soon, and you would like to bring him here when you come +to-night, I'm sure I should be very pleased." + +"I'll mention it to 'im," said Mr. Burton, marvelling at the change in +her manner. + +"Didn't you say once that he was uncle to Lord Buckfast?" inquired Mrs. +Dutton, casually. + +"Yes," said Mr. Burton, with unnecessary doggedness; "I did." + +"The idea of an admiral staying with you!" said Mrs. Dutton. + +"Reg'lar old sea-dog," said Mr. Burton again; "and, besides, he don't +want it known. It's a secret between us three, Mrs. Dutton." + +"To be sure," said the widow. "You can tell the admiral that I shall not +mention it to a soul," she added, mincingly. + +Mr. Burton thanked her and withdrew, lest Mr. Stiles should follow him up +before apprised of his sudden promotion. He found that gentleman, +however, still sitting at the front door, smoking serenely. + +"I'll stay with you for a week or two," said Mr. Stiles, briskly, as soon +as the other had told his story. "It'll do you a world o' good to be +seen on friendly terms with an admiral, and I'll put in a good word for +you." + +Mr. Burton shook his head. "No, she might find out," he said, slowly. +"I think that the best thing is for you to go home after dinner, Joe, and +just give 'er a look in on the way, p'r'aps. You could say a lot o' +things about me in 'arf an hour." + +"No, George," said Mr. Stiles, beaming on him kindly; "when I put my hand +to the plough I don't draw back. It's a good speaking part, too, an +admiral's. I wonder whether I might use old Peters's language." + +"Certainly not," said Mr. Burton, in alarm. + +"You don't know how particular she is." + +Mr. Stiles sighed, and said that he would do the best he could without +it. He spent most of the day on the beach smoking, and when evening came +shaved himself with extreme care and brushed his serge suit with great +perseverance in preparation for his visit. + +Mr. Burton performed the ceremony of introduction with some awkwardness; +Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which was not without +distinction; and Mrs. Dutton, in a black silk dress and the cameo brooch +which had belonged to her mother, was no less important. Mr. Burton had +an odd feeling of inferiority. + +[Illustration: "Mr. Stiles was affecting a stateliness of manner which +was not without distinction."] + +"It's a very small place to ask you to, Admiral Peters," said the widow, +offering him a chair. + +"It's comfortable, ma'am," said Mr. Stiles, looking round approvingly. +"Ah, you should see some of the palaces I've been in abroad; all show and +no comfort. Not a decent chair in the place. And, as for the +antimacassars----" + +"Are you making a long stay, Admiral Peters?" inquired the delighted +widow. + +"It depends," was the reply. "My intention was just to pay a flying +visit to my honest old friend Burton here--best man in my squadron--but +he is so hospitable, he's been pressing me to stay for a few weeks." + +"But the admiral says he must get back to-morrow morning," interposed Mr. +Burton, firmly. + +"Unless I have a letter at breakfast-time, Burton," said Mr. Stiles, +serenely. + +Mr. Burton favoured him with a mutinous scowl. + +"Oh, I do hope you will," said Mrs. Dutton. + +"I have a feeling that I shall," said Mr. Stiles, crossing glances with +his friend. "The only thing is my people; they want me to join them at +Lord Tufton's place." + +Mrs. Dutton trembled with delight at being in the company of a man with +such friends. "What a change shore-life must be to you after the perils +of the sea!" she murmured. + +"Ah!" said Mr. Stiles. "True! True!" + +"The dreadful fighting," said Mrs. Dutton, closing her eyes and +shuddering. + +"You get used to it," said the hero, simply. "Hottest time I had I think +was at the bombardment of Alexandria. I stood alone. All the men who +hadn't been shot down had fled, and the shells were bursting round me +like--like fireworks." + +The widow clasped her hands and shuddered again. + +"I was standing just behind 'im, waiting any orders he might give," said +Mr. Burton. + +"Were you?" said Mr. Stiles, sharply--"were you? I don't remember it, +Burton." + +"Why," said Mr. Burton, with a faint laugh, "I was just behind you, sir. +If you remember, sir, I said to you that it was pretty hot work." + +Mr. Stiles affected to consider. "No, Burton," he said, bluffly--"no; so +far as my memory goes I was the only man there." + +"A bit of a shell knocked my cap off, sir," persisted Mr. Burton, making +laudable efforts to keep his temper. + +"That'll do, my man," said the other, sharply; "not another word. You +forget yourself." + +He turned to the widow and began to chat about "his people" again to +divert her attention from Mr. Burton, who seemed likely to cause +unpleasantness by either bursting a blood-vessel or falling into a fit. + +"My people have heard of Burton," he said, with a slight glance to see +how that injured gentleman was progressing. "He has often shared my +dangers. We have been in many tight places together. Do you remember +those two nights when we were hidden in the chimney at the palace of the +Sultan of Zanzibar, Burton?" + +"I should think I do," said Mr. Burton, recovering somewhat. + +"Stuck so tight we could hardly breathe," continued the other. + +"I shall never forget it as long as I live," said Mr. Burton, who thought +that the other was trying to make amends for his recent indiscretion. + +"Oh, do tell me about it, Admiral Peters," cried Mrs. Dutton. + +"Surely Burton has told you that?" said Mr. Stiles. + +"Never breathed a word of it," said the widow, gazing somewhat +reproachfully at the discomfited Mr. Burton. + +"Well, tell it now, Burton," said Mr. Stiles. + +"You tell it better than I do, sir," said the other. + +"No, no," said Mr. Stiles, whose powers of invention were not always to +be relied upon. "You tell it; it's your story." + +The widow looked from one to the other. "It's your story, sir," said Mr. +Burton. + +"No, I won't tell it," said Mr. Stiles. "It wouldn't be fair to you, +Burton. I'd forgotten that when I spoke. Of course, you were young at +the time, still----" + +"I done nothing that I'm ashamed of, sir," said Mr. Burton, trembling +with passion. + +"I think it's very hard if I'm not to hear it," said Mrs. Dutton, with +her most fascinating air. + +Mr. Stiles gave her a significant glance, and screwing up his lips nodded +in the direction of Mr. Burton. + +"At any rate, you were in the chimney with me, sir," said that +unfortunate. + +"Ah!" said the other, severely. "But what was I there for, my man?" + +Mr. Burton could not tell him; he could only stare at him in a frenzy of +passion and dismay. + +"What were you there for, Admiral Peters?" inquired Mrs. Dutton. + +"I was there, ma'am," said the unspeakable Mr. Stiles, slowly--"I was +there to save the life of Burton. I never deserted my men---never. +Whatever scrapes they got into I always did my best to get them out. +News was brought to me that Burton was suffocating in the chimney of the +Sultan's favourite wife, and I----" + +"Sultan's favourite wife!" gasped Mrs. Dutton, staring hard at Mr. +Burton, who had collapsed in his chair and was regarding the ingenious +Mr. Stiles with open-mouthed stupefaction. "Good gracious! I--I never +heard of such a thing. I am surprised!" + +"So am I," said Mr. Burton, thickly. "I--I---" + +"How did you escape, Admiral Peters?" inquired the widow, turning from +the flighty Burton in indignation. + +Mr. Stiles shook his head. "To tell you that would be to bring the +French Consul into it," he said, gently. "I oughtn't to have mentioned +the subject at all. Burton had the good sense not to." + +The widow murmured acquiescence, and stole a look at the prosaic figure +of the latter gentleman which was full of scornful curiosity. With some +diffidence she invited the admiral to stay to supper, and was obviously +delighted when he accepted. + +In the character of admiral Mr. Stiles enjoyed himself amazingly, his one +regret being that no discriminating theatrical manager was present to +witness his performance. His dignity increased as the evening wore on, +and from good-natured patronage of the unfortunate Burton he progressed +gradually until he was shouting at him. Once, when he had occasion to +ask Mr. Burton if he intended to contradict him, his appearance was so +terrible that his hostess turned pale and trembled with excitement. + +Mr. Burton adopted the air for his own use as soon as they were clear of +Mrs. Dutton's doorstep, and in good round terms demanded of Mr. Stiles +what he meant by it. + +"It was a difficult part to play, George," responded his friend. "We +ought to have rehearsed it a bit. I did the best I could." + +"Best you could?" stormed Mr. Burton. "Telling lies and ordering me +about?" + +"I had to play the part without any preparation, George," said the other, +firmly. "You got yourself into the difficulty by saying that I was the +admiral in the first place. I'll do better next time we go." + +Mr. Burton, with a nasty scowl, said that there was not going to be any +next time, but Mr. Stiles smiled as one having superior information. +Deaf first to hints and then to requests to seek his pleasure elsewhere, +he stayed on, and Mr. Burton was soon brought to realise the difficulties +which beset the path of the untruthful. + +The very next visit introduced a fresh complication, it being evident to +the most indifferent spectator that Mr. Stiles and the widow were getting +on very friendly terms. Glances of unmistakable tenderness passed +between them, and on the occasion of the third visit Mr. Burton sat an +amazed and scandalised spectator of a flirtation of the most pronounced +description. A despairing attempt on his part to lead the conversation +into safer and, to his mind, more becoming channels only increased his +discomfiture. Neither of them took any notice of it, and a minute later +Mr. Stiles called the widow a "saucy little baggage," and said that she +reminded him of the Duchess of Marford. + +[Illustration: "'Mr. Stiles called the widow a 'saucy little baggage.'"] + +"I used to think she was the most charming woman in England," he said, +meaningly. + +Mrs. Dutton simpered and looked down; Mr. Stiles moved his chair a little +closer to her, and then glanced thoughtfully at his friend. + +"Burton," he said. + +"Sir," snapped the other. + +"Run back and fetch my pipe for me," said Mr. Stiles. "I left it on the +mantelpiece." + +Mr. Burton hesitated, and, the widow happening to look away, shook his +fist at his superior officer. + +"Look sharp," said Mr. Stiles, in a peremptory voice. + +"I'm very sorry, sir," said Mr. Burton, whose wits were being sharpened +by misfortune, "but I broke it." + +"Broke it?" repeated the other. + +"Yes, sir," said Mr. Burton. "I knocked it on the floor and trod on it +by accident; smashed it to powder." + +Mr. Stiles rated him roundly for his carelessness, and asked him whether +he knew that it was a present from the Italian Ambassador. + +"Burton was always a clumsy man," he said, turning to the widow. "He had +the name for it when he was on the _Destruction_ with me; 'Bungling +Burton' they called him." + +He divided the rest of the evening between flirting and recounting +various anecdotes of Mr. Burton, none of which were at all flattering +either to his intelligence or to his sobriety, and the victim, after one +or two futile attempts at contradiction, sat in helpless wrath as he saw +the infatuation of the widow. They were barely clear of the house before +his pent-up emotions fell in an avalanche of words on the faithless Mr. +Stiles. + +"I can't help being good-looking," said the latter, with a smirk. + +"Your good looks wouldn't hurt anybody," said Mr. Burton, in a grating +voice; "it's the admiral business that fetches her. It's turned 'er +head." + +Mr. Stiles smiled. "She'll say 'snap' to my 'snip' any time," he +remarked. "And remember, George, there'll always be a knife and fork +laid for you when you like to come." + +"I dessay," retorted Mr. Burton, with a dreadful sneer. "Only as it +happens I'm going to tell 'er the truth about you first thing to-morrow +morning. If I can't have 'er you sha'n't." + +"That'll spoil your chance, too," said Mr. Stiles. "She'd never forgive +you for fooling her like that. It seems a pity neither of us should get +her." + +"You're a sarpent," exclaimed Mr. Burton, savagely--"a sarpent that I've +warmed in my bosom and----" + +"There's no call to be indelicate, George," said Mr. Stiles, reprovingly, +as he paused at the door of the house. "Let's sit down and talk it over +quietly." + +Mr. Burton followed him into the room and, taking a chair, waited. + +"It's evident she's struck with me," said Mr. Stiles, slowly; "it's also +evident that if you tell her the truth it might spoil my chances. I +don't say it would, but it might. That being so, I'm agreeable to going +back without seeing her again by the six-forty train to-morrow morning if +it's made worth my while." + +"Made worth your while?" repeated the other. + +"Certainly," said the unblushing Mr. Stiles. "She's not a bad-looking +woman--for her age--and it's a snug little business." + +Mr. Burton, suppressing his choler, affected to ponder. "If 'arf a +sovereign--" he said, at last. + +"Half a fiddlestick!" said the other, impatiently. "I want ten pounds. +You've just drawn your pension, and, besides, you've been a saving man +all your life." + +"Ten pounds?" gasped the other. "D'ye think I've got a gold-mine in the +back garden?" + +Mr. Stiles leaned back in his chair and crossed his feet. "I don't go +for a penny less," he said, firmly. "Ten pounds and my ticket back. If +you call me any more o' those names I'll make it twelve." + +"And what am I to explain to Mrs. Dutton?" demanded Mr. Burton, after a +quarter of an hour's altercation. + +"Anything you like," said his generous friend. "Tell her I'm engaged to +my cousin, and our marriage keeps being put off and off on account of my +eccentric behaviour. And you can say that that was caused by a splinter +of a shell striking my head. Tell any lies you like; I shall never turn +up again to contradict them. If she tries to find out things about the +admiral, remind her that she promised to keep his visit here secret." + +For over an hour Mr. Burton sat weighing the advantages and disadvantages +of this proposal, and then--Mr. Stiles refusing to seal the bargain +without--shook hands upon it and went off to bed in a state of mind +hovering between homicide and lunacy. + +He was up in good time next morning, and, returning the shortest possible +answers to the remarks of Mr. Stiles, who was in excellent feather, went +with him to the railway station to be certain of his departure. + +It was a delightful morning, cool and bright, and, despite his +misfortunes. Mr. Burton's spirits began to rise as he thought of his +approaching deliverance. Gloom again overtook him at the booking-office, +where the unconscionable Mr. Stiles insisted firmly upon a first-class +ticket. + +"Who ever heard of an admiral riding third?" he demanded, indignantly. + +"But they don't know you're an admiral," urged Mr. Burton, trying to +humour him. + +"No; but I feel like one," said Mr. Stiles, slapping his pocket. "I've +always felt curious to see what it feels like travelling first-class; +besides, you can tell Mrs. Dutton." + +"I could tell 'er that in any case," returned Mr. Burton. + +Mr. Stiles looked shocked, and, time pressing, Mr. Burton, breathing so +hard that it impeded his utterance, purchased a first-class ticket and +conducted him to the carriage. Mr. Stiles took a seat by the window and +lolling back put his foot up on the cushions opposite. A large bell rang +and the carriage-doors were slammed. + +"Good-bye, George," said the traveller, putting his head to the window. +"I've enjoyed my visit very much." + +"Good riddance," said Mr. Burton, savagely. + + +[Illustration: "'Good riddance,' said Mr. Burton, savagely."] + +Mr. Stiles shook his head. "I'm letting you off easy," he said, slowly. +"If it hadn't ha' been for one little thing I'd have had the widow +myself." + +"What little thing?" demanded the other, as the train began to glide +slowly out. + +"My wife," said Mr. Stiles, as a huge smile spread slowly over his face. +"Good-bye, George, and don't forget to give my love when you go round." + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Admiral Peters, by W.W. 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