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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/12110-0.txt b/12110-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..206ccd1 --- /dev/null +++ b/12110-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4410 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12110 *** + +THE SCORNFUL LADY, + +A COMEDY. + + +Persons Represented in the Play. + +_Elder_ Loveless, _a Sutor to the Lady_. +_Young_ Loveless, _a Prodigal_. +Savil, _Steward to Elder_ Loveless. +Lady _and_ ) +Martha, )_Two Sisters_. +Younglove, _or_ Abigal, _a waiting Gentlewoman_. +Welford, _a Sutor to the Lady_. +_Sir_ Roger, _Curate to the Lady_. + (Captain ) + (Travailer ) _Hangers on to Young_ Loveless. + (Poet ) + (Tabaco-man ) +_Wenches_. +_Fidlers_. +Morecraft, _an Usurer_. +_A Rich Widow_. +_Attendants_. + + * * * * * + +Actus primus. Scena prima. + + * * * * * + +_Enter the two_ Lovelesses, Savil _the Steward, and a Page_. + +_Elder Love_. Brother, is your last hope past to mollifie _Morecrafts_ +heart about your Morgage? + +_Young Love_. Hopelesly past: I have presented the Usurer with a richer +draught than ever _Cleopatra_ swallowed; he hath suckt in ten thousand +pounds worth of my Land, more than he paid for at a gulp, without +Trumpets. + +_El. Lo_. I have as hard a task to perform in this house. + +_Yo. Lo._ Faith mine was to make an Usurer honest, or to lose my Land. + +_El. Lo._ And mine is to perswade a passionate woman, or to leave the +Land. Make the boat stay, I fear I shall begin my unfortunate journey this +night, though the darkness of the night and the roughness of the waters +might easily disswade an unwilling man. + +_Savil._ Sir, your Fathers old friends hold it the sounder course for your +body and estate to stay at home and marry, and propagate and govern in our +Country, than to Travel and die without issue. + +_El. Lo._ _Savil_, you shall gain the opinion of a better servant, in +seeking to execute, not alter my will, howsoever my intents succeed. + +_Yo. Lo._ Yonder's Mistres _Younglove_, Brother, the grave rubber of your +Mistresses toes. + +_Enter Mistres_ Younglove _the waiting woman._ + +_El. Lo._ Mistres _Younglove_. + +_Young._ Master _Loveless_, truly we thought your sails had been hoist: my +Mistres is perswaded you are Sea-sick ere this. + +_El. Lo._ Loves she her ill taken up resolution so dearly? Didst thou move +her from me? + +_Young_. By this light that shines, there's no removing her, if she get a +stiffe opinion by the end. I attempted her to day when they say a woman +can deny nothing. + +_El. Lo_. What critical minute was that? + +_Young_. When her smock was over her ears: but she was no more pliant than +if it hung about her heels. + +_El. Lo_. I prethee deliver my service, and say, I desire to see the dear +cause of my banishment; and then for _France_. + +_Young_. I'le do't: hark hither, is that your Brother? + +_El. Lo_. Yes, have you lost your memory? + +_Young_. As I live he's a pretty fellow. [_Exit._ + +_Yo. Lo_. O this is a sweet _Brache_. + +_El. Lo_. Why she knows not you. + +_Yo. Lo_. No, but she offered me once to know her: to this day she loves +youth of Eighteen; she heard a tale how _Cupid_ struck her in love with a +great Lord in the Tilt-yard, but he never saw her; yet she in kindness +would needs wear a Willow-garland at his Wedding. She lov'd all the +Players in the last Queens time once over: she was struck when they acted +Lovers, and forsook some when they plaid Murthers. She has nine +_Spur-royals_, and the servants say she hoards old gold; and she her self +pronounces angerly, that the Farmers eldest son, or her Mistres Husbands +Clerk shall be, that Marries her, shall make her a joynture of fourscore +pounds a year; she tells tales of the serving-men. + +_El. Lo._ Enough, I know her Brother. I shall intreat you only to salute +my Mistres, and take leave, we'l part at the Stairs. + +_Enter Lady and waiting women._ + +_Lady._ Now Sir, this first part of your will is performed: what's the +rest? + +_El. Lo._ First, let me beg your notice for this Gentleman my Brother. + +_Lady._ I shall take it as a favour done to me, though the Gentleman hath +received but an untimely grace from you, yet my charitable disposition +would have been ready to have done him freer courtesies as a stranger, +than upon those cold commendations. + +_Yo. Lo._ Lady, my salutations crave acquaintance and leave at once. + +_Lady._ Sir I hope you are the master of your own occasions. + + [_Exit Yo. Lo. and Savil._ + +_El. Lo._ Would I were so. Mistris, for me to praise over again that +worth, which all the world, and you your self can see. + +_Lady._ It's a cold room this, Servant. + +_El. Lo._ Mistris. + +_La._ What think you if I have a Chimney for't, out here? + +_El. Lo._ Mistris, another in my place, that were not tyed to believe all +your actions just, would apprehend himself wrong'd: But I whose vertues +are constancy and obedience. + +_La._ _Younglove_, make a good fire above to warm me after my servants +_Exordiums_. + +_El. Lo._ I have heard and seen your affability to be such, that the +servants you give wages to may speak. + +_La._ 'Tis true, 'tis true; but they speak to th' purpose. + +_El. Lo._ Mistris, your will leads my speeches from the purpose. But as a +man-- + +_La._ A _Simile_ servant? This room was built for honest meaners, that +deliver themselves hastily and plainly, and are gone. Is this a time or +place for _Exordiums_, and _Similes_ and _Metaphors_? If you have ought to +say, break into't: my answers shall very reasonably meet you. + +_El. Lo._ Mistris I came to see you. + +_La._ That's happily dispatcht, the next. + +_El. Lo._ To take leave of you. + +_La._ To be gone? + +_El. Lo._ Yes. + +_La._ You need not have despair'd of that, nor have us'd so many +circumstances to win me to give you leave to perform my command; is there +a third? + +_El. Lo._ Yes, I had a third had you been apt to hear it. + +_La._ I? Never apter. Fast (good servant) fast. + +_El. Lo._ 'Twas to intreat you to hear reason. + +_La._ Most willingly, have you brought one can speak it? + +_El. Lo._ Lastly, it is to kindle in that barren heart love and +forgiveness. + +_La._ You would stay at home? + +_El. Lo._ Yes Lady. + +_La._ Why you may, and doubtlesly will, when you have debated that your +commander is but your Mistris, a woman, a weak one, wildly overborn with +passions: but the thing by her commanded, is to see _Dovers_ dreadful +cliffe, passing in a poor Water-house; the dangers of the merciless +Channel 'twixt that and _Callis_, five long hours sail, with three poor +weeks victuals. + +_El. Lo._ You wrong me. + +_La._ Then to land dumb, unable to enquire for an English hoast, to remove +from City to City, by most chargeable Post-horse, like one that rode in +quest of his Mother tongue. + +_El. Lo._ You wrong me much. + +_La._ And all these (almost invincible labours) performed for your +Mistris, to be in danger to forsake her, and to put on new allegeance to +some _French_ Lady, who is content to change language with your laughter, +and after your whole year spent in Tennis and broken speech, to stand to +the hazard of being laught at, at your return, and have tales made on you +by the Chamber-maids. + +_El. Lo._ You wrong me much. + +_La._ Louder yet. + +_El. Lo._ You know your least word is of force to make me seek out +dangers, move me not with toyes: but in this banishment, I must take leave +to say, you are unjust: was one kiss forc't from you in publick by me so +unpardonable? Why all the hours of day and night have seen us kiss. + +_La._ 'Tis true, and so you told the company that heard me chide. + +_Elder Lov._ Your own eyes were not dearer to you than I. + +_Lady._ And so you told 'em. + +_Elder Lo._ I did, yet no sign of disgrace need to have stain'd your +cheek: you your self knew your pure and simple heart to be most unspotted, +and free from the least baseness. + +_Lady._ I did: But if a Maids heart doth but once think that she is +suspected, her own face will write her guilty. + +_Elder Lo._ But where lay this disgrace? The world that knew us, knew our +resolutions well: And could it be hop'd that I should give away my +freedom; and venture a perpetual bondage with one I never kist? or could I +in strict wisdom take too much love upon me, from her that chose me for +her Husband? + +_Lady._ Believe me; if my Wedding-smock were on, +Were the Gloves bought and given, the Licence come, +Were the Rosemary-branches dipt, and all +The Hipochrist and Cakes eat and drunk off, +Were these two armes incompast with the hands +Of Bachelors to lead me to the Church, +Were my feet in the door, were I _John_, said, +If _John_ should boast a favour done by me, +I would not wed that year: And you I hope, +When you have spent this year commodiously, +In atchieving Languages, will at your return +Acknowledge me more coy of parting with mine eyes, +Than such a friend: More talk I hold not now +If you dare go. + +_Elder Lo._ I dare, you know: First let me kiss. + +_Lady._ Farewel sweet Servant, your task perform'd, +On a new ground as a beginning Sutor, +I shall be apt to hear you. + +_Elder Lo._ Farewel cruel Mistres. [_Exit_ Lady. + +_Enter Young Loveless, and Savil._ + +_Young Lo._ Brother you'l hazard the losing your tide to _Gravesend_: you +have a long half mile by Land to _Greenewich_? + +_Elder Lo._ I go: but Brother, what yet unheard of course to live, doth +your imagination flatter you with? Your ordinary means are devour'd. + +_Young Lo._ Course? why Horse-coursing I think. Consume no time in this: I +have no Estate to be mended by meditation: he that busies himself about my +fortunes may properly be said to busie himself about nothing. + +_Elder Lo._ Yet some course you must take, which for my satisfaction +resolve and open; if you will shape none, I must inform you that that man +but perswades himself he means to live, that imagines not the means. + +_Young Lo._ Why live upon others, as others have lived upon me. + +_Elder Lo._ I apprehend not that: you have fed others, and consequently +dispos'd of 'em: and the same measure must you expect from your +maintainers, which will be too heavy an alteration for you to bear. + +_Young Lo._ Why I'le purse; if that raise me not, I'le bet at +Bowling-alleyes, or man Whores; I would fain live by others: but I'le live +whilst I am unhang'd, and after the thought's taken. + +_Elder Love._ I see you are ty'd to no particular imploiment then? + +_Young Lo._ Faith I may choose my course: they say nature brings forth +none but she provides for them: I'le try her liberality. + +_Elder Lo._ Well, to keep your feet out of base and dangerous paths, I +have resolved you shall live as Master of my House. It shall be your care +_Savil_ to see him fed and cloathed, not according to his present Estate, +but to his birth and former fortunes. + +_Young Lo._ If it be refer'd to him, if I be not found in Carnation +Jearsie-stockins, blew devils breeches, with the gards down, and my pocket +i'th' sleeves, I'le n'er look you i'th' face again. + +_Sa._ A comelier wear I wuss it is than those dangling slops. + +_Elder Lo._ To keep you readie to do him all service peaceably, and him to +command you reasonably, I leave these further directions in writing, which +at your best leasure together open and read. + +_Enter_ Younglove _to them with a Jewell._ + +_Abig._ Sir, my Mistress commends her love to you in this token, and these +words; it is a Jewell (she sayes) which as a favour from her she would +request you to wear till your years travel be performed: which once +expired, she will hastily expect your happy return. + +_Elder Lo._ Return my service with such thanks, as she may imagine the +heart of a suddenly over-joyed man would willingly utter, and you I hope I +shall with slender arguments perswade to wear this Diamond, that when my +Mistris shall through my long absence, and the approach of new Suitors, +offer to forget me; you may cast your eye down to your finger, and +remember and speak of me: She will hear thee better than those allied by +birth to her; as we see many men much swayed by the Grooms of their +Chambers, not that they have a greater part of their love or opinion on +them, than on others, but for that they know their secrets. + +_Abi._ O' my credit I swear, I think 'twas made for me: +Fear no other Suitors. + +_Elder Love._ I shall not need to teach you how to discredit their +beginning, you know how to take exception at their shirts at washing, or +to make the maids swear they found plasters in their beds. + +_Abi._ I know, I know, and do not you fear the Suitors. + +_Elder Lo._ Farewell, be mindfull, and be happie; the night calls me. + + [_Exeunt omnes praeter Younglove._ + +_Abi._ The Gods of the Winds befriend you Sir; a constant and a liberal +Lover thou art, more such God send us. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel._ Let'em not stand still, we have rid. + +_Abi._ A suitor I know by his riding hard, I'le not be seen. + +_Wel._ A prettie Hall this, no Servant in't? I would look freshly. + +_Abi._ You have delivered your errand to me then: there's no danger in a +hansome young fellow: I'le shew my self. + +_Wel._ Lady, may it please you to bestow upon a stranger the ordinary +grace of salutation: Are you the Lady of this house? + +_Abi._ Sir, I am worthily proud to be a Servant of hers. + +_Wel._ Lady, I should be as proud to be a Servant of yours, did not my so +late acquaintance make me despair. + +_Abi._ Sir, it is not so hard to atchieve, but nature may bring it about. + +_Wel._ For these comfortable words, I remain your glad Debtor. Is your +Lady at home? + +_Abi._ She is no stragler Sir. + +_Wel._ May her occasions admit me to speak with her? + +_Abi._ If you come in the way of a Suitor, No. + +_Wel._ I know your affable vertue will be moved to perswade her, that a +Gentleman benighted and strayed, offers to be bound to her for a nights +lodging. + +_Abi._ I will commend this message to her; but if you aim at her body, you +will be deluded: other women of the household of good carriage and +government; upon any of which if you can cast your affection, they will +perhaps be found as faithfull and not so coy. [_Exit_ Younglove. + +_Wel._ What a skin full of lust is this? I thought I had come a wooing, +and I am the courted partie. This is right Court fashion: Men, Women, and +all woo, catch that catch may. If this soft hearted woman have infused any +of her tenderness into her Lady, there is hope she will be plyant. But +who's here? + +_Enter_ Sir Roger _the Curate._ + +_Roger._ Gad save you Sir. My Lady lets you know she desires to be +acquainted with your name, before she confer with you? + +_Wel._ Sir, my name calls me _Welford_. + +_Roger._ Sir, you are a Gentleman of a good name. I'le try his wit. + +_Wel._ I will uphold it as good as any of my Ancestors had this two +hundred years Sir. + +_Roger._ I knew a worshipfull and a Religious Gentleman of your name in +the Bishoprick of _Durham_. Call you him Cousen? + +_Wel._ I am only allyed to his vertues Sir. + +_Roger._ It is modestly said: I should carry the badge of your +Christianity with me too. + +_Wel._ What's that, a Cross? there's a tester. + +_Roger._ I mean the name which your God-fathers and God-mothers gave you +at the Font. + +_Wel._ 'Tis _Harry_: but you cannot proceed orderly now in your Catechism: +for you have told me who gave me that name. Shall I beg your name? + +_Roger._ _Roger._ + +_Wel._ What room fill you in this house? + +_Roger._ More rooms than one. + +_Wel._ The more the merrier: but may my boldness know, why your Lady hath +sent you to decypher my name? + +_Roger._ Her own words were these: To know whether you were a formerly +denyed Suitor, disguised in this message: for I can assure you she +delights not in _Thalame_: _Hymen_ and she are at variance, I shall return +with much hast. [_Exit_ Roger. + +_Wel._ And much speed Sir, I hope: certainly I am arrived amongst a Nation +of new found fools, on a Land where no Navigator has yet planted wit; if I +had foreseen it, I would have laded my breeches with bells, knives, +copper, and glasses, to trade with women for their virginities: yet I +fear, I should have betrayed my self to a needless charge then: here's the +walking night-cap again. + +_Enter_ Roger. + +_Roger._ Sir, my Ladies pleasure is to see you: who hath commanded me to +acknowledge her sorrow, that you must take the pains to come up for so bad +entertainment. + +_Wel._ I shall obey your Lady that sent it, and acknowledge you that +brought it to be your Arts Master. + +_Rog._ I am but a Batchelor of Art, Sir; and I have the mending of all +under this roof, from my Lady on her down-bed, to the maid in the +Pease-straw. + +_Wel._ A Cobler, Sir? + +_Roger._ No Sir, I inculcate Divine Service within these Walls. + +_Wel._ But the Inhabitants of this house do often imploy you on errands +without any scruple of Conscience. + +_Rog._ Yes, I do take the air many mornings on foot, three or four miles +for eggs: but why move you that? + +_Wel._ To know whether it might become your function to bid my man to +neglect his horse a little to attend on me. + +_Roger._ Most properly Sir. + +_Wel._ I pray you doe so then: the whilst I will attend your Lady. You +direct all this house in the true way? + +_Roger._ I doe Sir. + +_Wel._ And this door I hope conducts to your Lady? + +_Rog._ Your understanding is ingenious. [_Ex. severally._ + +_Enter young_ Loveless _and_ Savil, _with a writing._ + +_Sa._ By your favour Sir, you shall pardon me? + +_Yo. Lo._ I shall bear your favour Sir, cross me no more; I say they shall +come in. + +_Savil._ Sir, you forget who I am? + +_Yo. Lo._ Sir, I do not; thou art my Brothers Steward, his cast off +mill-money, his Kitchen Arithmetick. + +_Sa._ Sir, I hope you will not make so little of me? + +_Yo. Lo._ I make thee not so little as thou art: for indeed there goes no +more to the making of a Steward, but a fair _Imprimis_, and then a +reasonable _Item_ infus'd into him, and the thing is done. + +_Sa._ Nay then you stir my duty, and I must tell you? + +_Young Lo._ What wouldst thou tell me, how Hopps grow, or hold some rotten +discourse of Sheep, or when our Lady-day falls? Prethee farewel, and +entertain my friends, be drunk and burn thy Table-books: and my dear spark +of velvet, thou and I. + +_Sa._ Good Sir remember? + +_Young Lo._ I do remember thee a foolish fellow, one that did put his +trust in Almanacks, and Horse-fairs, and rose by Hony and Pot-butter. +Shall they come in yet? + +_Sa_. Nay then I must unfold your Brothers pleasure, these be the lessons +Sir, he left behind him. + +_Young Lo_. Prethee expound the first. + +_Sa_. I leave to maintain my house three hundred pounds a year; and my +Brother to dispose of it. + +_Young Lo_. Mark that my wicked Steward, and I dispose of it? + +_Sav_. Whilest he bears himself like a Gentleman, and my credit falls not +in him. Mark that my good young Sir, mark that. + +_Young Lo_. Nay, if it be no more I shall fulfil it, whilst my Legs will +carry me I'le bear my self Gentleman-like, but when I am drunk, let them +bear me that can. Forward dear Steward. + +_Sav_. Next it is my will, that he be furnished (as my Brother) with +Attendance, Apparel, and the obedience of my people. + +_Young Lo_. Steward this is as plain as your old Minikin-breeches. Your +wisdom will relent now, will it not? Be mollified or--you understand me +Sir, proceed? + +_Sav_. Next, that my Steward keep his place, and power, and bound my +Brother's wildness with his care. + +_Young Lo_. I'le hear no more of this _Apocrypha_, bind it by it self +Steward. + +_Sav_. This is your Brothers will, and as I take it, he makes no mention +of such company as you would draw unto you. Captains of Gallyfoists, such +as in a clear day have seen _Callis_, fellows that have no more of God, +than their Oaths come to: they wear swords to reach fire at a Play, and +get there the oyl'd end of a Pipe, for their Guerdon: then the remnant of +your Regiment, are wealthy Tobacco-Marchants, that set up with one Ounce, +and break for three: together with a Forlorn hope of Poets, and all these +look like Carthusians, things without linnen: Are these fit company for my +Masters Brother? + +_Young Lo_. I will either convert thee (O thou Pagan Steward) or presently +confound thee and thy reckonings, who's there? Call in the Gentlemen. + +_Sav_. Good Sir. + +_Young Lo_. Nay, you shall know both who I am, and where I am. + +_Sav_. Are you my Masters Brother? + +_Young Lo_. Are you the sage Master Steward, with a face like an old +_Ephemerides_? + +_Enter his Comrades_, Captain, Traveller, &c. + +_Sav_. Then God help us all I say. + +_Young Lo_. I, and 'tis well said my old peer of _France_: welcome +Gentlemen, welcome Gentlemen; mine own dear Lads y'are richly welcome. +Know this old _Harry_ Groat. + +_Cap_. Sir I will take your love. + +_Sav_. Sir, you will take my Purse. + +_Cap_. And study to continue it. + +_Sav_. I do believe you. + +_Trav_. Your honorable friend and Masters Brother, hath given you to us +for a worthy fellow, and so we hugg you Sir. + +_Sav_. Has given himself into the hands of Varlets, not to be carv'd out. +Sir, are these the pieces? + +_Young Lo_. They are the Morals of the Age, the vertues, men made of gold. + +_Sav_. Of your gold you mean Sir. + +_Young Lo_. This is a man of War, and cryes go on, and wears his colours. + +_Sav_. In's nose. + +_Young Lo_. In the fragrant field. This is a Traveller Sir, knows men and +manners, and has plow'd up the Sea so far till both the Poles have knockt, +has seen the Sun take Coach, and can distinguish the colour of his Horses, +and their kinds, and had a _Flanders_-Mare leapt there. + +_Sav_. 'Tis much. + +_Tra_. I have seen more Sir. + +_Sav_. 'Tis even enough o' Conscience; sit down, and rest you, you are at +the end of the world already. Would you had as good a Living Sir, as this +fellow could lie you out of, he has a notable gift in't. + +_Young Lo_. This ministers the smoak, and this the Muses. + +_Sav_. And you the Cloaths, and Meat, and Money, you have a goodly +generation of 'em, pray let them multiply, your Brother's house is big +enough, and to say truth, h'as too much Land, hang it durt. + +_Young Lo_. Why now thou art a loving stinkard. Fire off thy Annotations +and thy Rent-books, thou hast a weak brain _Savil_, and with the next long +Bill thou wilt run mad. Gentlemen, you are once more welcome to three +hundred pounds a year; we will be freely merry, shall we not? + +_Capt_. Merry as mirth and wine, my lovely _Loveless_. + +_Poet_. A serious look shall be a Jury to excommunicate any man from our +company. + +_Tra_. We will not talk wisely neither? + +_Young Lo_. What think you Gentlemen by all this Revenue in Drink? + +_Capt_. I am all for Drink. + +_Tra_. I am dry till it be so. + +_Poet_. He that will not cry Amen to this, let him live sober, seem wise, +and dye o'th' _Coram_. + +_Young Lo_. It shall be so, we'l have it all in Drink, let Meat and +Lodging go, they are transitory, and shew men meerly mortal: then we'l +have Wenches, every one his Wench, and every week a fresh one: we'l keep +no powdered flesh: all these we have by warrant, under the title of things +necessary. Here upon this place I ground it, The obedience of my people, +and all necessaries: your opinions Gentlemen? + +_Capt_. 'Tis plain and evident that he meant Wenches. + +_Sav_. Good Sir let me expound it? + +_Capt_. Here be as sound men, as your self Sir. + +_Poet_. This do I hold to be the interpretation of it: In this word +Necessary, is concluded all that be helps to Man; Woman was made the +first, and therefore here the chiefest. + +_Young Lo_. Believe me 'tis a learned one; and by these words, The +obedience of my people, you Steward being one, are bound to fetch us +Wenches. + +_Capt_. He is, he is. + +_Young Lo_. Steward, attend us for instructions. + +_Sav_. But will you keep no house Sir? + +_Young Lo_. Nothing but drink Sir, three hundred pounds in drink. + +_Sav_. O miserable house, and miserable I that live to see it! Good Sir +keep some meat. + +_Young Lo_. Get us good Whores, and for your part, I'le board you in an +Alehouse, you shall have Cheese and Onions. + +_Sav_. What shall become of me, no Chimney smoaking? Well Prodigal, your +Brother will come home. + +[_Exit_. + +_Young Lo_. Come Lads, I'le warrant you for Wenches, three hundred pounds +in drink. + +[_Exeunt omnes_. + + + + +_Actus Secundus_. _Scena Prima_. + + +_Enter Lady, _her Sister_ Martha, Welford, Younglove, _and others_. + +_Lady_. Sir, now you see your bad lodging, I must bid you good night. + +_Wel_. Lady if there be any want, 'tis in want of you. + +_Lady_. A little sleep will ease that complement. Once more good night. + +_Wel_. Once more dear Lady, and then all sweet nights. + +_Lady_. Dear Sir be short and sweet then. + +_Wel_. Shall the morrow prove better to me, shall I hope my sute happier +by this nights rest? + +_Lady_. Is your sute so sickly that rest will help it? Pray ye let it rest +then till I call for it. Sir as a stranger you have had all my welcome: +but had I known your errand ere you came, your passage had been straiter. +Sir, good night. + +_Welford_. So fair, and cruel, dear unkind good night. [_Exit_ Lady. +Nay Sir, you shall stay with me, I'le press your zeal so far. + +_Roger_. O Lord Sir. + +_Wel_. Do you love _Tobacco_? + +_Rog_. Surely I love it, but it loves not me; yet with your reverence I'le +be bold. + +_Wel_. Pray light it Sir. How do you like it? + +_Rog_. I promise you it is notable stinging geer indeed. It is wet Sir, +Lord how it brings down Rheum! + +_Wel_. Handle it again Sir, you have a warm text of it. + +_Rog_. Thanks ever promised for it. I promise you it is very powerful, and +by a Trope, spiritual; for certainly it moves in sundry places. + +_Wel_. I, it does so Sir, and me especially to ask Sir, why you wear a +Night-cap. + +_Rog_. Assuredly I will speak the truth unto you: you shall understand +Sir, that my head is broken, and by whom; even by that visible beast the +Butler. + +_Wel_. The Butler? certainly he had all his drink about him when he did +it. Strike one of your grave Cassock? The offence Sir? + +_Rog_. Reproving him at Tra-trip Sir, for swearing; you have the total +surely. + +_Wel_. You told him when his rage was set a tilt, and so he crackt your +Canons. I hope he has not hurt your gentle reading: But shall we see these +Gentlewomen to night. + +_Rog_. Have patience Sir until our fellow _Nicholas_ be deceast, that is, +asleep: for so the word is taken: to sleep to dye, to dye to sleep, a very +figure Sir. + +_Wel_. Cannot you cast another for the Gentlewomen? + +_Rog_. Not till the man be in his bed, his grave: his grave, his bed: the +very same again Sir. Our Comick Poet gives the reason sweetly; _Plenus +rimarum est_, he is full of loope-holes, and will discover to our +Patroness. + +_Wel_. Your comment Sir has made me understand you. + +_Enter_ Martha _the_ Ladies _Sister_, _and_ Younglove, _to them with a +Posset_. + +_Rog_. Sir be addrest, the graces do salute you with the full bowl of +plenty. Is our old enemy entomb'd? + +_Abig_. He's safe. + +_Rog_. And does he snore out supinely with the Poet? + +_Mar_. No, he out-snores the Poet. + +_Wel_. Gentlewoman, this courtesie shall bind a stranger to you, ever your +servant. + +_Mar_. Sir, my Sisters strictness makes not us forget you are a stranger +and a Gentleman. + +_Abig_. In sooth Sir, were I chang'd into my Lady, a Gentleman so well +indued with parts, should not be lost. + +_Wel_. I thank you Gentlewoman, and rest bound to you. See how this foul +familiar chewes the Cud: From thee, and three and fifty good Love deliver +me. + +_Mar_. Will you sit down Sir, and take a spoon? + +_Wel_. I take it kindly, Lady. + +_Mar_. It is our best banquet Sir. + +_Rog_. Shall we give thanks? + +_Wel_. I have to the Gentlewomen already Sir. + +_Mar_. Good Sir _Roger_, keep that breath to cool your part o'th' Posset, +you may chance have a scalding zeal else; and you will needs be doing, +pray tell your twenty to your self. Would you could like this Sir? + +_Wel_. I would your Sister would like me as well Lady. + +_Mar_. Sure Sir, she would not eat you: but banish that imagination; she's +only wedded to her self, lyes with her self, and loves her self; and for +another Husband than herself, he may knock at the gate, but ne're come in: +be wise Sir, she's a Woman, and a trouble, and has her many faults, the +least of which is, she cannot love you. + +_Abig_. God pardon her, she'l do worse, would I were worthy his least +grief, Mistris _Martha_. + +_Wel_. Now I must over-hear her. + +_Mar_. Faith would thou hadst them all with all my heart; I do not think +they would make thee a day older. + +_Abig_. Sir, will you put in deeper, 'tis the sweeter. + +_Mar_. Well said old sayings. + +_Wel_. She looks like one indeed. Gentlewoman you keep your word, your +sweet self has made the bottom sweeter. + +_Abig_. Sir, I begin a frolick, dare you change Sir? + +_Wel_. My self for you, so please you. That smile has turn'd my stomach: +this is right the old Embleme of the Moyle cropping of Thistles: Lord what +a hunting head she carries, sure she has been ridden with a Martingale. +Now love deliver me. + +_Rog_. Do I dream, or do I wake? surely I know not: am I rub'd off? Is +this the way of all my morning Prayers? Oh _Roger_, thou art but grass, +and woman as a flower. Did I for this consume my quarters in Meditation, +Vowes, and wooed her in _Heroical Epistles_? Did I expound the Owl, and +undertook with labour and expence the recollection of those thousand +Pieces, consum'd in Cellars, and Tabacco-shops of that our honour'd +_Englishman Ni. Br._? Have I done this, and am I done thus too? I will end +with the wise man, and say; He that holds a Woman, has an Eel by the tail. + +_Mar._ Sir 'tis so late, and our entertainment (meaning our Posset) by +this is grown so cold, that 'twere an unmannerly part longer to hold you +from your rest: let what the house has be at your command Sir. + +_Wel._ Sweet rest be with you Lady; and to you what you desire too. + +_Abig._ It should be some such good thing like your self then. [_Exeunt._ + +_Wel._ Heaven keep me from that curse, and all my issue. Good night +Antiquity. + +_Rog._ _Solamen Miseris socios habuisse Doloris_: but I alone. + +_Wel._ Learned Sir, will you bid my man come to me? and requesting a +greater measure of your learning, good night, good Master _Roger_. + +_Rog._ Good Sir, peace be with you. [_Exit_ Roger. + +_Wel._ Adue dear _Domine_. Half a dozen such in a Kingdom would make a man +forswear confession: for who that had but half his wits about him, would +commit the Counsel of a serious sin to such a cruel Night-cap? Why how now +shall we have an Antick? [_Enter Servant._ +Whose head do you carry upon your shoulders, that you jole it so against +the Post? Is't for your ease? Or have you seen the Celler? Where are my +slippers Sir? + +_Ser._ Here Sir. + +_Wel._ Where Sir? have you got the pot Verdugo? have you seen the Horses +Sir? + +_Ser._ Yes Sir. + +_Wel._ Have they any meat? + +_Ser._ Faith Sir, they have a kind of wholesome Rushes, Hay I cannot call +it. + +_Wel._ And no Provender? + +_Ser._ Sir, so I take it. + +_Wel._ You are merry Sir, and why so? + +_Ser._ Faith Sir, here are no Oats to be got, unless you'l have 'em in +Porredge: the people are so mainly given to spoon-meat: yonder's a cast of +Coach-mares of the Gentlewomans, the strangest Cattel. + +_Wel._ Why? + +_Ser._ Why, they are transparent Sir, you may see through them: and such a +house! + +_Wel._ Come Sir, the truth of your discovery. + +_Ser._ Sir, they are in tribes like Jewes: the Kitchin and the Dayrie make +one tribe, and have their faction and their fornication within themselves; +the Buttery and the Landry are another, and there's no love lost; the +chambers are intire, and what's done there, is somewhat higher than my +knowledge: but this I am sure, between these copulations, a stranger is +kept vertuous, that is, fasting. But of all this the drink Sir. + +_Wel. _What of that Sir? + +_Ser. _Faith Sir, I will handle it as the time and your patience will give +me leave. This drink, or this cooling Julip, of which three spoonfuls +kills the Calenture, a pint breeds the cold Palsie. + +_Wel. _Sir, you bely the house. + +_Ser. _I would I did Sir. But as I am a true man, if 'twere but one degree +colder, nothing but an Asses hoof would hold it. + +_Wel. _I am glad on't Sir, for if it had proved stronger, you had been +tongue ti'd of these commendations. Light me the candle Sir, I'le hear no +more. [_Exeunt._ + +_Enter young_ Loveless _and his _Comrades, _with wenches, and two +Fidlers._ + +_Yo. Lo. _Come my brave man of war, trace out thy darling, +And you my learned Council, sit and turn boyes, +Kiss till the Cow come home, kiss close, kiss close knaves. +My Modern Poet, thou shalt kiss in couplets. + +_Enter with_ Wine. + +Strike up you merry varlets, and leave your peeping, +This is no pay for Fidlers. + +_Capt._ O my dear boy, thy _Hercules,_ thy Captain +Makes thee his _Hylas,_ his delight, his solace. +Love thy brave man of war, and let thy bounty +Clap him in _Shamois_: Let there be deducted out of our main potation +Five Marks in hatchments to adorn this thigh, +Crampt with this rest of peace, and I will fight +Thy battels. + +_Yo. Lo._ Thou shalt hav't boy, and fly in Feather, +Lead on a March you Michers. + +_Enter_ Savill. + +_Savill_. O my head, O my heart, what a noyse and change is here! would I +had been cold i'th' mouth before this day, and ne're have liv'd to see +this dissolution. He that lives within a mile of this place, had as good +sleep in the perpetual noyse of an Iron Mill. There's a dead Sea of drink +i'th' Seller, in which goodly vessels lye wrackt, and in the middle of +this deluge appear the tops of flagons and black jacks, like Churches +drown'd i'th' marshes. + +_Yo. Lo._ What, art thou come? My sweet Sir _Amias_ welcome to _Troy_. +Come thou shalt kiss my _Helen_, and court her in a dance. + +_Sav_. Good Sir consider? + +_Yo. Lo_. Shall we consider Gentlemen? How say you? + +_Capt_. Consider? that were a simple toy i'faith, consider? whose moral's +that? The man that cryes consider is our foe: let my steel know him. + +_Young Lo_. Stay thy dead doing hand, he must not die yet: prethee be +calm my _Hector_. + +_Capt_. Peasant slave, thou groom compos'd of grudgings, live and thank +this Gentleman, thou hadst seen _Pluto_ else. The next consider kills +thee. + +_Trav_. Let him drink down his word again in a gallon of Sack. + +_Poet_. 'Tis but a snuffe, make it two gallons, and let him doe it +kneeling in repentance. + +_Savil_. Nay rather kill me, there's but a lay-man lost. Good Captain doe +your office. + +_Young Lo_. Thou shalt drink Steward, drink and dance my Steward. Strike +him a horn-pipe squeakers, take thy striver, and pace her till she stew. + +_Savil_. Sure Sir, I cannot dance with your Gentlewomen, they are too +light for me, pray break my head, and let me goe. + +_Capt_. He shall dance, he shall dance. + +_Young Lo_. He shall dance, and drink, and be drunk and dance, and be +drunk again, and shall see no meat in a year. + +_Poet._ And three quarters? + +_Young Lo._ And three quarters be it. + +_Capt._ Who knocks there? let him in. + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless _disguised._ + +_Savill._ Some to deliver me I hope. + +_Elder Lo._ Gentlemen, God save you all, my business is to one Master +_Loveless_? + +_Capt._ This is the Gentleman you mean; view him, and take his Inventorie, +he's a right one. + +_Elder Lo._ He promises no less Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Sir, your business? + +_Elder Lo._ Sir, I should let you know, yet I am loth, yet I am sworn +to't, would some other tongue would speak it for me. + +_Young Lo._ Out with it i' Gods name. + +_Elder Lo._ All I desire Sir is, the patience and sufferance of a man, and +good Sir be not mov'd more. + +_Young Lo._ Then a pottle of sack will doe, here's my hand, prethee thy +business? + +_Elder Lo._ Good Sir excuse me, and whatsoever you hear, think must have +been known unto you, and be your self discreet, and bear it nobly. + +_Young Lo._ Prethee dispatch me. + +_Elder Lo._ Your Brother's dead Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Thou dost not mean dead drunk? + +_Elder Lo._ No, no, dead and drown'd at sea Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Art sure he's dead? + +_Elder Lo._ Too sure Sir. + +_Young Lo._ I but art thou very certainly sure of it? + +_Elder Lo._ As sure Sir, as I tell it. + +_Young Lo._ But art thou sure he came not up again? + +_Elder Lo._ He may come up, but ne're to call you Brother. + +_Young Lo._ But art sure he had water enough to drown him? + +_Elder Lo._ Sure Sir, he wanted none. + +_Young Lo._ I would not have him want, I lov'd him better; here I forgive +thee: and i'faith be plain, how do I bear it? + +_Elder Lo._ Very wisely Sir. + +_Young Lo_. Fill him some wine. Thou dost not see me mov'd, these +transitorie toyes ne're trouble me, he's in a better place, my friend I +know't. Some fellows would have cryed now, and have curst thee, and faln +out with their meat, and kept a pudder; but all this helps not, he was too +good for us, and let God keep him: there's the right use on't friend. Off +with thy drink, thou hast a spice of sorrow makes thee dry: fill him +another. _Savill_, your Master's dead, and who am I now _Savill_? Nay, +let's all bear it well, wipe _Savill_ wipe, tears are but thrown away: we +shall have wenches now, shall we not _Savill_? + +_Savill_. Yes Sir. + +_Young Lo_. And drink innumerable. + +_Savil_. Yes forsooth. + +_Young Lo_. And you'll strain curtsie and be drunk a little? + +_Savil_. I would be glad, Sir, to doe my weak endeavour. + +_Yo. Lo_. You may be brought in time to love a wench too. + +_Savil_. In time the sturdie Oak Sir. + +_Young Lo_. Some more wine for my friend there. + +_Elder Lo_. I shall be drunk anon for my good news: but I have a loving +Brother, that's my comfort. + +_Youn[g] Lo_. Here's to you Sir, this is the worst I wish you for your +news: and if I had another elder Brother, and say it were his chance to +feed Haddocks, I should be still the same you see me now, a poor contented +Gentleman. More wine for my friend there, he's dry again. + +_Elder Lo_. I shall be if I follow this beginning. Well my dear Brother, +if I scape this drowning, 'tis your turn next to sink, you shall duck +twice before I help you. Sir I cannot drink more; pray let me have your +pardon. + +_Young Lo_. O Lord Sir, 'tis your modestie: more wine, give him a bigger +glass; hug him my Captain, thou shalt be my chief mourner. + +_Capt_. And this my pennon: Sir, a full carouse to you, and to my Lord of +Land here. + +_Elder Lo_. I feel a buzzing in my brains, pray God they bear this out, +and I'le ne're trouble them so far again. Here's to you Sir. + +_Young Lo_. To my dear Steward, down o' your knees you infidel, you Pagan; +be drunk and penitent. + +_Savil._ Forgive me Sir, and I'le be any thing. + +_Young Lo._ Then be a Baud, I'le have thee a brave Baud. + +_Elder Lo._ Sir, I must take my leave of you, my business is so urgent. + +_Young Lo._ Let's have a bridling cast before you go. Fill's a new stoupe. + +_Elder Lo._ I dare not Sir, by no means. + +_Young Lo._ Have you any mind to a wench? I would fain gratifie you for +the pains you took Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ As little as to the t'other. + +_Young Lo._ If you find any stirring do but say so. + +_Elder Lo._ Sir, you are too bounteous, when I feel that itching, you +shall asswage it Sir, before another: this only and Farewell Sir. Your +Brother when the storm was most extream, told all about him, he left a +will which lies close behind a Chimney in the matted Chamber: and so as +well Sir, as you have made me able, I take my leave. + +_Young Lo._ Let us imbrace him all: if you grow drie before you end your +business, pray take a baite here, I have a fresh hogshead for you. + +_Savil._ You shall neither will nor chuse Sir. My Master is a wonderfull +fine Gentleman, has a fine state, a very fine state Sir, I am his Steward +Sir, and his man. + +_Elder Lo._ Would you were your own sir, as I left you. Well I must cast +about, or all sinks. + +_Savil._ Farewell Gentleman, Gentleman, Gentleman. + +_Elder Lo._ What would you with me sir? + +_Savil._ Farewell Gentleman. + +_Elder Lo._ O sleep Sir, sleep. [_Exit_ Elder Lo. + +_Young Lo._ Well boyes, you see what's faln, let's in and drink, and give +thanks for it. + +_Capt._ Let's give thanks for it. + +_Young Lo._ Drunk as I live. + +_Savil._ Drunk as I live boyes. + +_Young Lo._ Why, now thou art able to discharge thine office, and cast up +a reckoning of some weight; I will be knighted, for my state will bear it, +'tis sixteen hundred boyes: off with your husks, I'le skin you all in +Sattin. + +_Capt._ O sweet _Loveless_! + +_Savil._ All in Sattin? O sweet _Loveless_! + +_Young Lo_. March in my noble Compeeres: and this my Countess shall be led +by two: and so proceed we to the Will. + [_Exeunt._ + +_Enter_ Morecraft _the_ Usurer, _and_ Widow. + +_Morec_. And Widow as I say be your own friend: your husband left you +wealthy, I and wise, continue so sweet duck, continue so. Take heed of +young smooth Varlets, younger Brothers: they are worms that will eat +through your bags: they are very Lightning, that with a flash or two will +melt your money, and never singe your purse-strings: they are Colts, wench +Colts, heady and dangerous, till we take 'em up, and make 'em fit for +Bonds: look upon me, I have had, and have yet matter of moment girle, +matter of moment; you may meet with a worse back, I'le not commend it. + +_Wid_. Nor I neither Sir. + +_Mor_. Yet thus far by your favour Widow, 'tis tuffe. + +_Wid_. And therefore not for my dyet, for I love a tender one. + +_Mor_. Sweet Widow leave your frumps, and be edified: you know my state, I +sell no Perspectives, Scarfs, Gloves, nor Hangers, nor put my trust in +Shoe-ties; and where your Husband in an age was rising by burnt figs, +dreg'd with meal and powdered sugar, saunders, and grains, wormeseed and +rotten Raisins, and such vile Tobacco, that made the footmen mangie; I in +a year have put up hundreds inclos'd, my Widow, those pleasant Meadows, by +a forfeit morgage: for which the poor Knight takes a lone chamber, owes +for his Ale, and dare not beat his Hostess: nay more-- + +_Wid_. Good Sir no more, what ere my Husband was, I know what I am, and if +you marry me, you must bear it bravely off Sir. + +_Mor_. Not with the head, sweet Widow. + +_Wid_. No sweet Sir, but with your shoulders: I must have you dub'd, for +under that I will not stoop a feather. My husband was a fellow lov'd to +toyle, fed ill, made gain his exercise, and so grew costive, which for +that I was his wife, I gave way to, and spun mine own smocks course, and +sir, so little: but let that pass, time, that wears all things out, wore +out this husband, who in penitence of such fruitless five years marriage, +left me great with his wealth, which if you'le be a worthie gossip to, be +knighted Sir. [_Enter_ Savil. + +_Morec._ Now, Sir, from whom come you? whose man are you Sir? + +_Savil_. Sir, I come from young Master _Loveless_. + +_Mor_. Be silent Sir, I have no money, not a penny for you, he's sunk, +your Master's sunk, a perisht man Sir. + +_Savil_. Indeed his Brother's sunk sir, God be with him, a perisht man +indeed, and drown'd at Sea. + +_Morec_. How saidst thou, good my friend, his Brother drown'd? + +_Savil_. Untimely sir, at Sea. + +_Morec_. And thy young Master left sole Heir? + +_Savil_. Yes Sir. + +_Morec_. And he wants money? + +_Sav_. Yes, and sent me to you, for he is now to be knighted. + +_Mor_. Widow be wise, there's more Land coming, widow be very wise, and +give thanks for me widow. + +_Widow_. Be you very wise, and be knighted, and then give thanks for me +Sir. + +_Savil_. What sayes your worship to this mony? + +_Mor_. I say he may have mony if he please. + +_Savil_. A thousand Sir? + +_Mor_. A thousand Sir, provided any wise Sir, his Land lye for the +payment, otherwise-- + +_Enter_ Young Loveless _and_ Comrades _to them._ + +_Savil_. He's here himself Sir, and can better tell you. + +_Mor_. My notable dear friend, and worthy Master _Loveless_, and now right +worshipfull, all joy and welcom. + +_Yo. Lo_. Thanks to my dear incloser Master _Morecraft_, prethee old Angel +gold, salute my family, I'le do as much for yours; this, and your own +desires, fair Gentlewoman. + +_Wid_. And yours Sir, if you mean well; 'tis a hansome Gentleman. + +_Young Lo_. Sirrah, my Brother's dead. + +_More_. Dead? + +_Yo. Lo_. Dead, and by this time soust for Ember Week. + +_Morecraft_. Dead? + +_Young Lo_. Drown'd, drown'd at sea man, by the next fresh Conger that +comes we shall hear more. + +_Mor._ Now by my faith of my body it moves me much. + +_Yo. Lo._ What, wilt thou be an Ass, and weep for the dead? why I thought +nothing but a general inundation would have mov'd thee, prethe be quiet, +he hath left his land behind him. + +_Morecraft._ O has he so? + +_Young Lo._ Yes faith, I thank him for't, I have all boy, hast any ready +mony? + +_Morecraft._ Will you sell Sir? + +_Young Lo._ No not out right good Gripe; marry, a morgage or such a slight +securitie. + +_More._ I have no mony, Sir, for Morgage; if you will sell, and all or +none, I'le work a new Mine for you. + +_Sav._ Good Sir look before you, he'l work you out of all else: if you +sell all your Land, you have sold your Country, and then you must to Sea, +to seek your Brother, and there lye pickled in a Powdering tub, and break +your teeth with Biskets and hard Beef, that must have watering Sir: and +where's your 300 pounds a year in drink then? If you'l tun up the +Straights you may, for you have no calling for drink there, but with a +Canon, nor no scoring but on your Ships sides, and then if you scape with +life, and take a Faggot boat and a bottle of _Usquebaugh_, come home poor +men, like a tipe of Thames-street stinking of Pitch and Poor-John. I +cannot tell Sir, I would be loth to see it. + +_Capt._ Steward, you are an Ass, a meazel'd mungril, and were it not again +the peace of my soveraign friend here, I would break your fore-casting +Coxcomb, dog I would even with my staffe of Office there. Thy Pen and +Inkhorn Noble boy, the God of gold here has fed thee well, take mony for +thy durt: hark and believe, thou art cold of constitution, thy eat +unhealthful, sell and be wise; we are three that will adorn thee, and live +according to thine own heart child; mirth shall be only ours, and only +ours shall be the black eyed beauties of the time. Mony makes men Eternal. + +_Poet._ Do what you will, 'tis the noblest course, then you may live +without the charge of people, only we four will make a Family, I and an +Age that will beget new _Annals_, in which I'le write thy life my son of +pleasure, equal with _Nero_ and _Caligula_. + +_Young Lo._ What men were they Captain? + +_Capt_. Two roaring Boys of _Rome_, that made all split. + +_Young Lo_. Come Sir, what dare you give? + +_Sav_. You will not sell Sir? + +_Young Lo_. Who told you so Sir? + +_Sav_. Good Sir have a care. + +_Young Lo_. Peace, or I'le tack your Tongue up to your Roof. What money? +speak. + +_More_. Six thousand pound Sir. + +_Capt_. Take it, h'as overbidden by the Sun: bind him to his bargain +quickly. + +_Young Lo_. Come strike me luck with earnest, and draw the writings. + +_More_. There's a Gods peny for thee. + +_Sav_. Sir for my old Masters sake let my Farm be excepted, if I become +his Tenant I am undone, my Children beggers, and my Wife God knows what: +consider me dear Sir. + +_More_. I'le have all or none. + +_Young Lo_. All in, all in: dispatch the writings. [_Exit with Com._ + +_Wid_. Go, thou art a pretty forehanded fellow, would thou wert wiser. + +_Sav_. Now do I sensibly begin to feel my self a Rascal; would I could +teach a School, or beg, or lye well, I am utterly undone; now he that +taught thee to deceive and cousen, take thee to his mercy; so be it. + +[_Exit_ Savil. + +_More_. Come Widow come, never stand upon a Knight-hood, 'tis a meer paper +honour, and not proof enough for a Serjeant. Come, Come, I'le make thee-- + +_Wid_. To answer in short, 'tis this Sir. No Knight no Widow, if you make +me any thing, it must be a Lady, and so I take my leave. + +_More_. Farewel sweet Widow, and think of it. + +_Wid_. Sir, I do more than think of it, it makes me dream Sir. [_Ex._ Wid. + +_More_. She's rich and sober, if this itch were from her: and say I be at +the charge to pay the Footmen, and the Trumpets, I and the Horsemen too, +and be a Knight, and she refuse me then; then am I hoist into the subsidy, +and so by consequence should prove a Coxcomb: I'le have a care of that. +Six thousand pound, and then the Land is mine, there's some refreshing +yet. [_Exit._ + + + + +_Actus Tertius. Scena Prima_. + + +_Enter_ Abigal, _and drops her Glove._ + +_Abigal_. If he but follow me, as all my hopes tell me, he's man enough, +up goes my rest, and I know I shall draw him. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel_. This is the strangest pampered piece of flesh towards fifty, that +ever frailty copt withal, what a trim _lennoy_ here she has put upon me; +these women are a proud kind of Cattel, and love this whorson doing so +directly, that they will not stick to make their very skins Bawdes to +their flesh. Here's Dogskin and Storax sufficient to kill a Hawk: what to +do with it, besides nailing it up amongst _Irish_ heads of Teere, to shew +the mightiness of her Palm, I know not: there she is. I must enter into +Dialogue. Lady you have lost your Glove. + +_Abig_. Not Sir, if you have found it. + +_Wel_. It was my meaning Lady to restore it. + +_Abig_. 'Twill be uncivil in me to take back a favour, Fortune hath so +well bestowed Sir, pray wear it for me. + +_Wel_. I had rather wear a Bell. But hark you Mistres, what hidden vertue +is there in this Glove, that you would have me wear it? Is't good against +sore eyes, or will it charm the Toothach? Or these red tops; being steept +in white wine soluble, wil't kill the Itch? Or has it so conceal'd a +providence to keep my hand from Bonds? If it have none of these and prove +no more but a bare Glove of half a Crown a pair, 'twill be but half a +courtesie, I wear two alwayes, faith let's draw cuts, one will do me no +pleasure. + +_Abig_. The tenderness of his years keeps him as yet in ignorance, he's a +well moulded fellow, and I wonder his bloud should stir no higher; but +'tis his want of company: I must grow nearer to him. + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless _disguised._ + +_Elder Lo_. God save you both. + +_Abig_. And pardon you Sir; this is somewhat rude, how came you hither? + +_Elder Lo_. Why through the doors, they are open. + +_Wel_. What are you? And what business have you here? + +_Elder Lo_. More I believe than you have. + +_Abig_. Who would this fellow speak with? Art thou sober? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, I come not here to sleep. + +_Wel_. Prethee what art thou? + +_Elder Lo_. As much (gay man) as thou art, I am a Gentleman. + +_Wel_. Art thou no more? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes more than thou dar'st be; a Souldier. + +_Abig_. Thou dost not come to quarrel? + +_Elder Lo_. No, not with women; I come to speak here with a Gentlewoman. + +_Abig_. Why, I am one. + +_Elder Lo_. But not with one so gentle. + +_Wel_. This is a fine fellow. + +_Elder Lo_. Sir, I am not fine yet. I am but new come over, direct me with +your ticket to your Taylor, and then I shall be fine Sir. Lady if there be +a better of your Sex within this house, say I would see her. + +_Abig_. Why am not I good enough for you Sir? + +_Elder Lo_. Your way you'l be too good, pray end my business. This is +another Sutor, O frail Woman! + +_Wel_. This fellow with his bluntness hopes to do more than the long sutes +of a thousand could; though he be sowre he's quick, I must not trust him. +Sir, this Lady is not to speak with you, she is more serious: you smell as +if you were new calkt; go and be hansome, and then you may sit with her +Servingmen. + +_El. Lo_. What are you Sir? + +_Wel_. Guess by my outside. + +_Elder Lo_. Then I take you Sir, for some new silken thing wean'd from the +Country, that shall (when you come to keep good company) be beaten into +better manners. Pray good proud Gentlewoman, help me to your Mistress. + +_Abig_. How many lives hast thou, that thou talk'st thus rudely? + +_Elder Lo_. But one, one, I am neither Cat nor Woman. + +_Wel_. And will that one life, Sir, maintain you ever in such bold +sawciness? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, amongst a Nation of such men as you are, and be no worse +for wearing, shall I speak with this Lady? + +_Abig_. No by my troth shall you not. + +_Elder Lo_. I must stay here then? + +_Wel_. That you shall not neither. + +_Elder Lo_. Good fine thing tell me why? + +_Wel_. Good angry thing I'le tell you: +This is no place for such companions, +Such lousie Gentlemen shall find their business +Better i'th' Suburbs, there your strong pitch perfume, +Mingled with lees of Ale, shall reek in fashion: +This is no Thames-street, Sir. + +_Abig_. This Gentleman informs you truly: +Prethee be satisfied, and seek the Suburbs, +Good Captain, or what ever title else, +The Warlike Eele-boats have bestowed upon thee, +Go and reform thy self, prethee be sweeter, +And know my Lady speaks with no Swabbers. + +_Elder Lo_. You cannot talk me out with your tradition +Of wit you pick from Plays, go to, I have found ye: +And for you, Sir, whose tender gentle blood +Runs in your Nose, and makes you snuff at all, +But three pil'd people, I do let you know, +He that begot your worships Sattin-sute, +Can make no men Sir: I will see this Lady, +And with the reverence of your silkenship, +In these old Ornaments. + +_Wel_. You will not sure? + +_Elder Lo_. Sure Sir I shall. + +_Abig_. You would be beaten out? + +_Elder Lo_. Indeed I would not, or if I would be beaten, +Pray who shall beat me? this good Gentleman +Looks as if he were o'th' peace. + +_Wel_. Sir you shall see that: will you get you out? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, that, that shall correct your boys tongue. +Dare you fight, I will stay here still. [_They draw._ + +_Abig_. O their things are out, help, help for Gods sake, +Madam; Jesus they foin at one another. + +_Enter_ Lady. + +Madam, why, who is within there? + +_Lady_. Who breeds this rudeness? + +_Wel._ This uncivil fellow; +He saies he comes from Sea, where I believe, +H'as purg'd away his manners. + +_Lady._ Why what of him? + +_Wel._ Why he will rudely without once God bless you, +Press to your privacies, and no denial +Must stand betwixt your person and his business; +I let go his ill Language. + +_Lady._ Sir, have you business with me? + +_Elder Lo._ Madam some I have, +But not so serious to pawn my life for't: +If you keep this quarter, and maintain about you +Such Knights o'th' _Sun_ as this is, to defie +Men of imployment to ye, you may live, +But in what fame? + +_Lady._ Pray stay Sir, who has wrong'd you? + +_Elder Lo._ Wrong me he cannot, though uncivilly +He flung his wild words at me: but to you +I think he did no honour, to deny +The hast I come withal, a passage to you, +Though I seem course. + +_Lady._ Excuse me gentle Sir, 'twas from my knowledge, +And shall have no protection. And to you Sir, +You have shew'd more heat than wit, and from your self +Have borrowed power, I never gave you here, +To do these vile unmanly things: my house +Is no blind street to swagger in; and my favours +Not doting yet on your unknown deserts +So far, that I should make you Master of my business; +My credit yet stands fairer with the people +Than to be tried with swords; and they that come +To do me service, must not think to win me +With hazard of a murther; if your love +Consist in fury, carry it to the Camp: +And there in honour of some common Mistress, +Shorten your youth, I pray be better temper'd: +And give me leave a while Sir. + +_Wel._ You must have it. [_Exit_ Welford. + +_Lady._ Now Sir, your business? + +_El. Lo._ First, I thank you for schooling this young fellow, +Whom his own follies, which he's prone enough +Daily to fall into, if you but frown, +Shall level him a way to his repentance: +Next, I should rail at you, but you are a Woman, +And anger's lost upon you. + +_Lady._ Why at me Sir? +I never did you wrong, for to my knowledge +This is the first sight of you. + +_Elder Lo._ You have done that, +I must confess I have the least curse in +Because the least acquaintance: But there be +(If there be honour in the minds of men) +Thousands when they shall know what I deliver, +(As all good men must share in't) will to shame +Blast your black memory. + +_Lady._ How is this good Sir? + +_Elder Lo._ 'Tis that, that if you have a soul will choak it: +Y'ave kill'd a Gentleman. + +_Lady._ I kill'd a Gentleman! + +_Elder Lo._ You and your cruelty have kill'd him Woman, +And such a man (let me be angry in't) +Whose least worth weighed above all womens vertues +That are; I spare you all to come too: guess him now? + +_Lady._ I am so innocent I cannot Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. Repent you mean, you are a perfect Woman, +And as the first was, made for mans undoing. + +_Lady._ Sir, you have mist your way, I am not she. + +_Elder Lo._ Would he had mist his way too, though he had +Wandered farther than Women are ill spoken of, +So he had mist this misery, you Lady. + +_Lady._ How do you do, Sir? + +_Elder Lo._ Well enough I hope. +While I can keep my self out from temptations. + +_Lady._ Leap into this matter, whither would ye? + +_Elder Lo._ You had a Servant that your peevishness +Injoined to Travel. + +_Lady._ Such a one I have +Still, and shall be griev'd 'twere otherwise. + +_El. Lo._ Then have your asking, and be griev'd he's dead; +How you will answer for his worth, I know not, +But this I am sure, either he, or you, or both +Were stark mad, else he might have liv'd +To have given a stronger testimony to th' world +Of what he might have been. He was a man +I knew but in his evening, ten Suns after, +Forc'd by a Tyrant storm our beaten Bark +Bulg'd under us; in which sad parting blow, +He call'd upon his Saint, but not for life, +On you unhappy Woman, and whilest all +Sought to preserve their Souls, he desperately +Imbrac'd a Wave, crying to all that saw it, +If any live, go to my Fate that forc'd me +To this untimely end, and make her happy: +His name was _Loveless_: And I scap't the storm, +And now you have my business. + +_Lady._ 'Tis too much. +Would I had been that storm, he had not perisht. +If you'l rail now I will forgive you Sir. +Or if you'l call in more, if any more +Come from this ruine, I shall justly suffer +What they can say, I do confess my self +A guiltie cause in this. I would say more, +But grief is grown too great to be delivered. + +_Elder Lo._ I like this well: these women are strange things. +'Tis somewhat of the latest now to weep, +You should have wept when he was going from you, +And chain'd him with those tears at home. + +_La._ Would you had told me then so, these two arms had been his Sea. + +_Elder Lo._ Trust me you move me much: but say he lived, these were +forgotten things again. + +_Lady._ I, say you so? Sure I should know that voice: this is knavery. +I'le fit you for it. Were he living Sir, I would perswade you to be +charitable, I, and confess we are not all so ill as your opinion holds us. +O my friend, what penance shall I pull upon my fault, upon my most +unworthy self for this? + +_Elder Lo._ Leave to love others, 'twas some jealousie +That turn'd him desperate. + +_Lady._ I'le be with you straight: are you wrung there? + +_Elder Lo._ This works amain upon her. + +_Lady._ I do confess there is a Gentleman +Has born me long good will. + +_Elder Lo._ I do not like that. + +_Lady._ And vow'd a thousand services to me; to me, regardless of him: But +since Fate, that no power can withstand, has taken from me my first, and +best love, and to weep away my youth is a mere folly, I will shew you what +I determine sir: you shall know all: Call M. _Welford_ there: That +Gentleman I mean to make the model of my Fortunes, and in his chast +imbraces keep alive the memory of my lost lovely _Loveless_: he is +somewhat like him too. + +_Elder Lo._ Then you can love. + +_Lady._ Yes certainly Sir? +Though it please you to think me hard and cruel, +I hope I shall perswade you otherwise. + +_Elder Lo._ I have made my self a fine fool. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel._ Would you have spoke with me Madam? + +_Lady._ Yes M. _Welford_, and I ask your pardon before this Gentleman for +being froward: this kiss, and henceforth more affection. + +_Elder Lo._ So, 'tis better I were drown'd indeed. + +_Wel._ This is a sudden passion, God hold it. +This fellow out of his fear sure has +Perswaded her. I'le give him a new suit on't. + +_La._ A parting kiss, and good Sir, let me pray you +To wait me in the Gallerie. + +_Wel._ I am in another world, Madam where you please. [_Exit_ Welford. + +_Elder Lo._ I will to Sea, and 't shall goe hard but I'le be drown'd +indeed. + +_La._ Now Sir you see I am no such hard creature, +But time may win me. + +_Elder Lo._ You have forgot your lost Love. + +_La._ Alas Sir, what would you have me do? I cannot call him back again +with sorrow; I'le love this man as dearly, and beshrow me I'le keep him +far enough from Sea, and 'twas told me, now I remember me, by an old wise +woman, that my first Love should be drown'd, and see 'tis come about. + +_Elder Lo._ I would she had told you your second should be hang'd too, and +let that come about: but this is very strange. + +_La._ Faith Sir, consider all, and then I know you'le be of my mind: if +weeping would redeem him, I would weep still. + +_Elder Lo._ But say that I were _Loveless_, +And scap'd the storm, how would you answer this? + +_Lady._ Why for that Gentleman I would leave all the world. + +_Elder Lo._ This young thing too? + +_Lady._ That young thing too, +Or any young thing else: why, I would lose my state. + +_Elder Lo._ Why then he lives still, I am he, your _Loveless_. + +_Lady._ Alas I knew it Sir, and for that purpose prepared this Pageant: +get you to your task. And leave these Players tricks, or I shall leave +you, indeed I shall. Travel, or know me not. + +_Elder Lo._ Will you then marry? + +_Lady._ I will not promise, take your choice. Farewell. + +_Elder Lo._ There is no other Purgatorie but a Woman. +I must doe something. [_Exit_ Loveless. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel._ Mistress I am bold. + +_Lady._ You are indeed. + +_Wel._ You so overjoyed me Lady. + +_Lady._ Take heed you surfeit not, pray fast and welcom. + +_Wel._ By this light you love me extreamly. + +_Lady._ By this, and to morrows light, I care not for you. + +_Wel._ Come, come, you cannot hide it. + +_Lady._ Indeed I can, where you shall never find it. + +_Wel._ I like this mirth well Lady. + +_Lady._ You shall have more on't. + +_Wel._ I must kiss you. + +_Lady._ No Sir. + +_Wel._ Indeed I must. + +_Lady._ What must be, must be; I'le take my leave, you have your parting +blow: I pray commend me to those few friends you have, that sent you +hither, and tell them when you travel next, 'twere fit you brought less +bravery with you, and more wit, you'le never get a wife else. + +_Wel._ Are you in earnest? + +_Lady._ Yes faith. Will you eat Sir, your horses will be readie straight, +you shall have a napkin laid in the butterie for ye. + +_Wel._ Do not you love me then? + +_Lady._ Yes, for that face. + +_Wel._ It is a good one Ladie. + +_Lady._ Yes, if it were not warpt, the fire in time may mend it. + +_Wel._ Me thinks yours is none of the best Ladie. + +_Lady._ No by my troth Sir; yet o' my conscience, You would make shift +with it. + +_Wel._ Come pray no more of this. + +_Lady._ I will not: Fare you well. Ho, who's within there? bring out the +Gentlemans horses, he's in haste; and set some cold meat on the Table. + +_Wel._ I have too much of that I thank you Ladie: take your Chamber when +you please, there goes a black one with you Ladie. + +_Lady._ Farewell young man. [_Exit_ Ladie. + +_Wel._ You have made me one, Farewell: and may the curse of a great house +fall upon thee, I mean the Butler. The devil and all his works are in +these women, would all of my sex were of my mind, I would make 'em a new +Lent, and a long one, that flesh might be in more reverence with them. + +_Enter Abigal to him._ + +_Abig._ I am sorry M. _Welford_. + +_Wel._ So am I, that you are here. + +_Abig._ How does my Ladie use you? + +_Wel._ As I would use you, scurvilie. + +_Abig._ I should have been more kind Sir. + +_Wel._ I should have been undone then. Pray leave me, and look to your +sweet-meats; hark, your Ladie calls. + +_Abig._ Sir, I shall borrow so much time without offence. + +_Wel._ Y'are nothing but offence, for Gods love leave me. + +_Abig._ 'Tis strange my Ladie should be such a tyrant? + +_Wel._ To send you to me, 'Pray goe stitch, good doe, y'are more trouble +to me than a Term. + +_Abig._ I do not know how my good will, if I said love I lied not, should +any way deserve this? + +_Wel._ A thousand waies, a thousand waies; sweet creature let me depart in +peace. + +_Abig._ What Creature Sir? I hope I am a woman. + +_Wel._ A hundred I think by your noise. + +_Abig._ Since you are angrie Sir, I am bold to tell you that I am a woman, +and a rib. + +_Wel._ Of a roasted horse. + +_Abig._ Conster me that? + +_Wel._ A Dog can doe it better; Farwell Countess, and commend me to your +Ladie, tell her she's proud, and scurvie, and so I commit you both to your +tempter. + +_Abig._ Sweet Mr. _Welford_. + +_Wel._ Avoid old Satanus: Go daub your ruines, your face looks fouler than +a storm: the Foot-man stayes for you in the Lobby Lady. + +_Abig._ If you were a Gentleman, I should know it by your gentle +conditions: are these fit words to give a Gentlewoman? + +_Wel._ As fit as they were made for ye: Sirrah, my horses. Farwell old +Adage, keep your nose warm, the Rheum will make it horn else-- +[_Exit_ Welford. + +_Abig._ The blessings of a Prodigal young heir be thy companions +_Welford_, marry come up my Gentleman, are your gums grown so tender they +cannot bite? A skittish Filly will be your fortune _Welford_, and fair +enough for such a packsaddle. And I doubt not (if my aim hold) to see her +made to amble to your hand. [_Exit Abigal._ + +_Enter_ Young Loveless, _and_ Comrades, Morecraft, Widow, Savil, _and the +rest._ + +_Captain._ Save thy brave shoulder, my young puissant Knight, and may thy +back Sword bite them to the bone that love thee not, thou art an errant +man, go on. The circumcis'd shall fall by thee. Let Land and labour fill +the man that tills, thy sword must be thy plough, and _Jove_ it speed. +_Mecha_ shall sweat, and _Mahomet_ shall fall, and thy dear name fill up +his monument. + +_Yo. L._ It shall Captain, I mean to be a Worthy. + +_Cap._ One Worthy is too little, thou shalt be all. + +_Mor._ Captain I shall deserve some of your love too. + +_Capt._ Thou shalt have heart and hand too, noble _Morecraft_, if them +wilt lend me mony. I am a man of Garrison, be rul'd, and open to me those +infernal gates, whence none of thy evil Angels pass again, and I will +stile thee noble, nay _Don Diego_. I'le woo thy _Infanta_ for thee, and my +Knight shall feast her with high meats, and make her apt. + +_Mor._ Pardon me Captain, y'are beside my meaning. + +_Young Lo._ No Mr. _Morecraft_, 'tis the Captains meaning I should prepare +her for ye. + +_Capt._ Or provok her. Speak my modern man, I say provoke her. + +_Poet._ Captain, I say so too, or stir her to it. So say the Criticks. + +_Young Lo._ But howsoever you expound it sir, she's very welcom, and this +shall serve for witness. And Widow, since y'are come so happily, you shall +deliver up the keyes, and free possession of this house, whilst I stand by +to ratifie. + +_Wid._ I had rather give it back again believe me, 'Tis a miserie to say +you had it. Take heed? + +_Young Lo._ 'Tis past that Widow, come, sit down, some wine there, there +is a scurvie banquet if we had it. All this fair house is yours Sir +_Savil_? + +_Savil._ Yes Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Are your keyes readie, I must ease your burden. + +_Sav._ I am readie Sir to be undone, when you shall call me to't. + +_Young Lo._ Come come, thou shalt live better. + +_Sav._ I shall have less to doe, that's all, there's half a dozen of my +friends i'th' fields sunning against a bank, with half a breech among 'em, +I shall be with 'em shortly. The care and continuall vexation of being +rich, eat up this rascall. What shall become of my poor familie, they are +no sheep, and they must keep themselves. + +_Young Lo._ Drink Master _Morecraft_, pray be merrie all: +Nay and you will not drink there's no societie, +Captain speak loud, and drink: widow, a word. + +_Cap._ Expou[n]d her throughly Knight. Here God o' gold, here's to thy +fair possessions; Be a Baron and a bold one: leave off your tickling of +young heirs like Trouts, and let thy Chimnies smoke. Feed men of war, live +and be honest, and be saved yet. + +_Mor._ I thank you worthie Captain for your counsel. You keep your +Chimnies smoking there, your nostrils, and when you can, you feed a man of +War, this makes you not a Baron, but a bare one: and how or when you shall +be saved, let the Clark o'th' companie (you have commanded) have a just +care of. + +_Poet._ The man is much moved. Be not angrie Sir, but as the Poet sings, +let your displeasure be a short furie, and goe out. You have spoke home, +and bitterly, to me Sir. Captain take truce, the Miser is a tart and a +wittie whorson-- + +_Cap._ Poet, you feign perdie, the wit of this man lies in his fingers +ends, he must tell all; his tongue fills his mouth like a neats tongue, +and only serves to lick his hungrie chaps after a purchase: his brains and +brimstone are the devils diet to a fat usurers head: To her Knight, to +her: clap her aboard, and stow her. Where's the brave Steward? + +_Savil._ Here's your poor friend, and _Savil_ Sir. + +_Capt._ Away, th'art rich in ornaments of nature. First in thy face, thou +hast a serious face, a betting, bargaining, and saving face, a rich face, +pawn it to the Usurer; a face to kindle the compassion of the most +ignorant and frozen Justice. + +_Savil._ 'Tis such I dare not shew it shortly sir. + +_Capt._ Be blithe and bonny steward: Master _Morecraft_, Drink to this man +of reckoning? + +_Mor._ Here's e'ne to him. + +_Savil._ The Devil guide it downward: would there were in't an acre of the +great broom field he bought, to sweep your durtie Conscience, or to choak +ye, 'tis all one to me, Usurer. + +_Young Lo._ Consider what I told you, you are young, unapt for worldly +business: Is it fit one of such tenderness, so delicate, so contrarie to +things of care, should stir and break her better meditations, in the bare +brokage of a brace of Angels? or a new Kirtel, though it be Satten? eat by +the hope of surfeits, and lie down only in expectation of a morrow, that +may undo some easie hearted fool, or reach a widows curses? Let out mony, +whose use returns the principal? and get out of these troubles, a +consuming heir: For such a one must follow necessarily, you shall die +hated, if not old and miserable; and that possest wealth that you got with +pining, live to see tumbled to anothers hands, that is no more a kin to +you, than you to his couzenage. + +_Widow._ Sir you speak well, would God that charity had first begun here. + +_Young Lo._ 'Tis yet time. Be merrie, me thinks you want wine there, +there's more i'th' house. Captain, where rests the health? + +_Captain._ It shall goe round boy. + +_Young Lo._ Say you can suffer this, because the end points at much +profit, can you so far bow below your blood, below your too much beautie, +to be a partner of this fellowes bed, and lie with his diseases? if you +can, I will no[t] press you further: yet look upon him: there's nothing in +that hide-bound Usurer, that man of mat, that all decai'd, but aches, for +you to love, unless his perisht lungs, his drie cough, or his scurvie. +This is truth, and so far I dare speak yet: he has yet past cure of +Physick, spaw, or any diet, a primitive pox in his bones; and o' my +Knowledge he has been ten times rowell'd: ye may love him; he had a +bastard, his own toward issue, whipt, and then cropt for washing out the +roses, in three farthings to make 'em pence. + +_Widow._ I do not like these Morals. + +_Young Lo._ You must not like him then. + +_Enter_ Elder Love. + +_Elder Lo._ By your leave Gentlemen? + +_Young Lo._ By my troth sir you are welcom, welcom faith: Lord what a +stranger you are grown; pray know this Gentlewoman, and if you please +these friends here: we are merry, you see the worst on't; your house has +been kept warm Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ I am glad to hear it Brother, pray God you are wise too. + +_Young Lo._ Pray Mr. _Morecraft_ know my elder Brother, and Captain do you +complement. _Savil_ I dare swear is glad at heart to see you; Lord, we +heard Sir you were drown'd at Sea, and see how luckily things come about! + +_More._ This mony must be paid again Sir. + +_Young Lo._ No Sir, pray keep the Sale, 'twill make good Tailors measures; +I am well I thank you. + +_Wid._ By my troth the Gentleman has stew'd him in his own Sawce, I shall +love him for't. + +_Sav._ I know not where I am, I am so glad: your worship is the welcom'st +man alive; upon my knees I bid you welcome home: here has been such a +hurry, such a din, such dismal Drinking, Swearing and Whoring, 'thas +almost made me mad: we have all liv'd in a continual _Turnbal-street_; +Sir, blest be Heaven, that sent you safe again, now shall I eat and go to +bed again. + +_Elder Lo._ Brother dismiss these people. + +_Young Lo._ Captain be gone a while, meet me at my old _Randevouse_ in the +evening, take your small Poet with you. Mr. _Morecraft_ you were best go +prattle with your learned Counsel, I shall preserve your mony, I was +couzen'd when time was, we are quit Sir. + +_Wid._ Better and better still. + +_Elder Lo._ What is this fellow, Brother? + +_Young Lo._ The thirsty Usurer that supt my Land off. + +_Elder Lo._ What does he tarry for? + +_Young Lo._ Sir to be Landlord of your House and State: I was bold to make +a little sale Sir. + +_More._ Am I overreach'd? if there be Law I'le hamper ye. + +_Elder Lo._ Prethee be gone, and rave at home, thou art so base a fool I +cannot laugh at thee: Sirrah, this comes of couzening, home and spare, eat +Reddish till you raise your sums again. If you stir far in this, I'le have +you whipt, your ears nail'd for intelligencing o'the Pillory, and your +goods forfeit: you are a stale couzener, leave my house: no more. + +_More._ A pox upon your house. Come Widow, I shall yet hamper this young +Gamester. + +_Wid._ Good twelve i'th' hundred keep your way, I am not for your diet, +marry in your own Tribe _Jew_, and get a Broker. + +_Young Lo._ 'Tis well said Widow: will you jog on Sir? + +_More._ Yes, I will go, but 'tis no matter whither: +But when I trust a wild Fool, and a Woman, +May I lend Gratis, and build Hospitals. + +_Young Lo._ Nay good Sir, make all even, here's a Widow wants your good +word for me, she's rich, and may renew me and my fortunes. + +_Elder Lo._ I am glad you look before you. Gentlewoman, here is a poor +distressed younger Brother. + +_Wid._ You do him wrong Sir, he's a Knight. + +_Elder Lo._ I ask you mercy: yet 'tis no matter, his Knighthood is no +inheritance I take it: whatsoever he is, he is your Servant, or would be, +Lady. Faith be not merciless, but make a man; he's young and handsome, +though he be my Brother, and his observances may deserve your Love: he +shall not fail for means. + +_Wid._ Sir you speak like a worthy Brother: and so much I do credit your +fair Language, that I shall love your Brother: and so love him, but I +shall blush to say more. + +_Elder Lo._ Stop her mouth. I hope you shall not live to know that hour +when this shall be repented. Now Brother I should chide, but I'le give no +distaste to your fair Mistress. I will instruct her in't and she shall +do't: you have been wild and ignorant, pray mend it. + +_Young Lo._ Sir, every day now Spring comes on. + +_Elder Lo._ To you good Mr. _Savil_ and your Office, thus much I have to +say: Y'are from my Steward become, first your own Drunkard, then his Bawd: +they say y'are excellent grown in both, and perfect: give me your keys Sir +_Savil_. + +_Savil._ Good Sir consider whom you left me to. + +_Elder Lo._ I left you as a curb for, not to provoke my Brothers follies: +where's the best drink, now? come, tell me _Savil_; where's the soundest +Whores? Ye old he Goat, ye dried Ape, ye lame Stallion, must you be +leading in my house your Whores, like Fairies dance their night rounds, +without fear either of King or Constable, within my walls? Are all my +Hangings safe; my Sheep unfold yet? I hope my Plate is currant, I ha' too +much on't. What say you to 300 pounds in drink now? + +_Sav._ Good Sir forgive me, and but hear me speak? + +_Elder Lo._ Me thinks thou shouldst be drunk still, and not speak, 'tis +the more pardonable. + +_Sav._ I will Sir, if you will have it so. + +_Elder Lo._ I thank ye: yes, e'ne pursue it Sir: do you hear? get a Whore +soon for your recreation: go look out Captain _Broken-breech_ your fellow, +and Quarrel if you dare: I shall deliver these Keys to one shall have more +honesty, though not so much fine wit Sir. You may walk and gather +_Cresses_ fit to cool your Liver; there's something for you to begin a +Diet, you'l have the Pox else. Speed you well, Sir _Savil_: you may eat at +my house to preserve life; but keep no Fornication in the Stables. +[_Ex. om. pr._ Savil. + +_Sav._ Now must I hang my self, my friends will look for't. +Eating and sleeping, I do despise you both now: +I will run mad first, and if that get not pitty, +I'le drown my self, to a most dismal ditty. [_Exit_ Savil. + + + + +_Actus Quartus. Scena Prima._ + + +_Enter_ Abigal _sola._ + +_Abigal._ Alas poor Gentlewoman, to what a misery hath Age brought thee: +to what a scurvy Fortune! Thou that hast been a Companion for Noblemen, +and at the worst of those times for Gentlemen: now like a broken +Servingman, must beg for favour to those, that would have crawl'd like +Pilgrims to my Chamber but for an Apparition of me. You that be coming on, +make much of fifteen, and so till five and twenty: use your time with +reverence, that your profits may arise: it will not tarry with you, _Ecce +signum_: here was a face, but time that like a surfeit eats our youth, +plague of his iron teeth, and draw 'em for't, has been a little bolder +here than welcome: and now to say the truth, I am fit for no man. Old men +i'th' house of fifty, call me Granum; and when they are drunk, e'ne then, +when _Jone_ and my Lady are all one, not one will do me reason. My little +Levite hath forsaken me, his silver sound of Cittern quite abolish[t], +[h]is doleful _hymns_ under my Chamber window, digested into tedious +learning: well fool, you leapt a Haddock when you left him: he's a clean +man, and a good edifier, and twenty nobles is his state _de claro_, +besides his pigs in _posse_. To this good _Homilist_ I have been ever +stubborn, which God forgive me for, and mend my manners: and Love, if ever +thou hadst care of forty, of such a piece of lape ground, hear my prayer, +and fire his zeal so far forth that my faults in this renued impression of +my love may shew corrected to our gentle reader. + +_Enter_ Roger. + +See how negligently he passes by me: with what an Equipage Canonical, as +though he had broken the heart of _Bellarmine_, or added something to the +singing Brethren. 'Tis scorn, I know it, and deserve it, Mr. _Roger_. + +_Rog._ Fair Gentlewoman, my name is _Roger_. + +_Abig_. Then gentle _Roger_? + +_Rog_. Ungentle _Abigal_. + +_Abig_. Why M'r _Roger_ will you set your wit to a weak womans? + +_Rog_. You are weak indeed: for so the Poet sings. + +_Abig_. I do confess my weakness, sweet Sir _Roger_. + +_Rog_. Good my Ladies Gentlewoman, or my good Ladies Gentlewoman (this +trope is lost to you now) leave your prating, you have a season of your +first mother in ye: and surely had the Devil been in love, he had been +abused too: go _Dalilah_, you make men fools, and wear Fig-breeches. + +_Abi_. Well, well, hard hearted man; dilate upon the weak infirmities of +women: these are fit texts, but once there was a time, would I had never +seen those eyes, those eyes, those orient eyes. + +_Rog_. I they were pearls once with you. + +_Abi_. Saving your reverence Sir, so they are still. + +_Rog_. Nay, nay, I do beseech you leave your cogging, what they are, they +are, they serve me without Spectacles I thank 'em. + +_Abig_. O will you kill me? + +_Rog_. I do not think I can, +Y'are like a Copy-hold with nine lives in't. + +_Abig_. You were wont to bear a Christian fear about you: +For your own worships sake. + +_Rog_. I was a Christian fool then: Do you remember what a dance you led +me? how I grew qualm'd in love, and was a dunce? could expound but once a +quarter, and then was out too: and then out of the stinking stir you put +me in, I prayed for my own issue. You do remember all this? + +_Abig_. O be as then you were! + +_Rog_. I thank you for it, surely I will be wiser _Abigal_: and as the +Ethnick Poet sings, I will not lose my oyl and labour too. Y'are for the +worshipfull I take it _Abigal_. + +_Abig_. O take it so, and then I am for thee! + +_Rog_. I like these tears well, and this humbling also, they are Symptomes +of contrition. If I should fall into my fit again, would you not shake me +into a quotidian Coxcombe? Would you not use me scurvily again, and give +me possets with purging Confets in't? I tell thee Gentlewoman, thou hast +been harder to me, than a long pedigree. + +_Abig_. O Curate cure me: I will love thee better, dearer, longer: I will +do any thing, betray the secrets of the main house-hold to thy +reformation. My Ladie shall look lovingly on thy learning, and when true +time shall point thee for a Parson, I will convert thy egges to penny +custards, and thy tith goose shall graze and multiply. + +_Rog_. I am mollified, as well shall testifie this faithfull kiss, and +have a great care Mistris _Abigal_ how you depress the Spirit any more +with your rebukes and mocks: for certainly the edge of such a follie cuts +it self. + +_Abigal_. O Sir, you have pierc'd me thorow. Here I vow a recantation to +those malicious faults I ever did against you. Never more will I despise +your learning, never more pin cards and cony tails upon your Cassock, +never again reproach your reverend nightcap, and call it by the mangie +name of murrin, never your reverend person more, and say, you look like +one of _Baals_ Priests in a hanging, never again when you say grace laugh +at you, nor put you out at prayers: never cramp you more, nor when you +ride, get Sope and Thistles for you. No my _Roger_, these faults shall be +corrected and amended, as by the tenour of my tears appears. + +_Rog_. Now cannot I hold if I should be hang'd, I must crie too. Come to +thine own beloved, and do even what thou wilt with me sweet, sweet +_Abigal_. I am thine own for ever: here's my hand, when _Roger_ proves a +recreant, hang him i'th' Bel-ropes. + +_Enter_ Lady, _and_ Martha. + +_Lady_. Why how now Master _Roger_, no prayers down with you to night? Did +you hear the bell ring? You are courting: your flock shall fat well for +it. + +_Rog_. I humbly ask your pardon: I'le clap up Prayers, but stay a little, +and be with you again. [_Exit_ Roger. + +_Enter_ Elder Love. + +_Lady_. How dare you, being so unworthie a fellow, +Presume to come to move me any more? + +_Elder Lo_. Ha, ha, ha. + +_Lady_. What ails the fellow? + +_Elder Lo_. The fellow comes to laugh at you, I tell you Ladie I would not +for your Land, be such a Coxcomb, such a whining Ass, as you decreed me +for when I was last here. + +_Lady_. I joy to hear you are wise, 'tis a rare Jewel +In an Elder Brother: pray be wiser yet. + +_Elder Lo._ Me thinks I am very wise: I do not come a wooing. Indeed I'le +move no more love to your Ladiship. + +_Lady_. What makes you here then? + +_Elder Lo_. Only to see you and be merry Ladie: that's all my business. +Faith let's be very merry. Where's little _Roger_? he's a good fellow: an +hour or two well spent in wholesome mirth, is worth a thousand of these +puling passions. 'Tis an ill world for Lovers. + +_Lady_. They were never fewer. + +_Elder Lo_. I thank God there's one less for me Ladie. + +_Lady_. You were never any Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. Till now, and now I am the prettiest fellow. + +_Lady_. You talk like a Tailor Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. Me thinks your faces are no such fine things now. + +_Lady_. Why did you tell me you were wise? Lord what a lying age is this, +where will you mend these faces? + +_Elder Lo_. A Hogs face soust is worth a hundred of 'em. + +_Lady_. Sure you had a Sow to your Mother. + +_Elder Lo_. She brought such fine white Pigs as you, fit for none but +Parsons Ladie. + +_Lady_. 'Tis well you will allow us our Clergie yet. + +_Elder Lo_. That shall not save you. O that I were in love again with a +wish. + +_Lady_. By this light you are a scurvie fellow, pray be gone. + +_Elder Lo_. You know I am a clean skin'd man. + +_Lady_. Do I know it? + +_Elder Lo_. Come, come, you would know it; that's as good: but not a snap, +never long for't, not a snap dear Ladie. + +_Lady_. Hark ye Sir, hark ye, get ye to the Suburbs, there's horse flesh +for such hounds: will you goe Sir? + +_Elder Lo_. Lord how I lov'd this woman, how I worshipt this prettie calf +with the white face here: as I live, you were the prettiest fool to play +withall, the wittiest little varlet, it would talk: Lord how it talk't! +and when I angred it, it would cry out, and scratch, and eat no meat, and +it would say, goe hang. + +_Lady_. It will say so still, if you anger it. + +_Elder Lo_. And when I askt it, if it would be married, it sent me of an +errand into _France_, and would abuse me, and be glad it did so. + +_Lady_. Sir this is most unmanly, pray by gon. + +_Elder Lo_. And swear (even when it twitter'd to be at me) I was +unhansome. + +_Lady_. Have you no manners in you? + +_Elder Lo_. And say my back was melted, when God he knows, I kept it at a +charge: Four _Flaunders_ Mares would have been easier to me, and a Fencer. + +_Lady_. You think all this is true now? + +_Elder Lo_. Faith whether it be or no, 'tis too good for you. But so much +for our mirth: Now have at you in earnest. + +_L[a]_. There is enough Sir, I desire no more. + +_El. Lo_. Yes faith, wee'l have a cast at your best parts now. And then +the Devil take the worst. + +_Lady_. Pray Sir no more, I am not so much affected with your +commendations, 'tis almost dinner, I know they stay for you at the +Ordinary. + +_Elder Lo_. E'ne a short Grace, and then I am gone; You are a woman, and +the proudest that ever lov'd a Coach: the scornfullest, scurviest, and +most senceless woman; the greediest to be prais'd, and never mov'd though +it be gross and open; the most envious, that at the poor fame of anothers +face, would eat your own, and more than is your own, the paint belonging +to it: of such a self opinion, that you think none can deserve your glove: +and for your malice, you are so excellent, you might have been your +Tempters tutor: nay, never cry. + +_Lady_. Your own heart knows you wrong me: I cry for ye? + +_Elder Lo_. You shall before I leave you. + +_Lady_. Is all this spoke in earnest? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes and more as soon as I can get it out. + +_Lady_. Well out with't. + +_Elder Lo_. You are, let me see. + +_Lady_. One that has us'd you with too much respect. + +_Elder Lo_. One that hath us'd me (since you will have it so) the basest, +the most Foot-boy-like, without respect of what I was, or what you might +be by me; you have us'd me, as I would use a jade, ride him off's legs, +then turn him to the Commons; you have us'd me with discretion, and I +thank ye. If you have many more such pretty Servants, pray build an +Hospital, and when they are old, pray keep 'em for shame. + +_Lady_. I cannot think yet this is serious. + +_Elder Lo_. Will you have more on't? + +_Lady_. No faith, there's enough if it be true: +Too much by all my part; you are no Lover then? + +_Elder Lo_. No, I had rather be a Carrier. + +_Lady_. Why the Gods amend all. + +_Elder Lo_. Neither do I think there can be such a fellow found i'th' +world, to be in love with such a froward woman, if there be such, they're +mad, _Jove_ comfort 'em. Now you have all, and I as new a man, as light, +and spirited, that I feel my self clean through another creature. O 'tis +brave to be ones own man, I can see you now as I would see a Picture, sit +all day by you and never kiss your hand: hear you sing, and never fall +backward: but with as set a temper, as I would hear a Fidler, rise and +thank you. I can now keep my mony in my purse, that still was gadding out +for Scarfes and Wastcoats: and keep my hand from Mercers sheep-skins +finely. I can eat mutton now, and feast my self with my two shillings, and +can see a play for eighteen pence again: I can my Ladie. + +_Lady_. The carriage of this fellow vexes me. Sir, pray let me speak a +little private with you, I must not suffer this. + +_Elder Lo_. Ha, ha, ha, what would you with me? +You will not ravish me? Now, your set speech? + +_Lady_. Thou perjur'd man. + +_Elder Lo_. Ha, ha, ha, this is a fine _exordium_. +And why I pray you perjur'd? + +_Lady_. Did you not swear a thousand thousand times you lov'd me best of +all things? + +_Elder Lo_. I do confess it: make your best of that. + +_Lady_. Why do you say you do not then? + +_Elder Lo_. Nay I'le swear it, +And give sufficient reason, your own usage. + +_Lady_. Do you not love me then? + +_Elder Lo_. No faith. + +_Lady_. Did you ever think I lov'd you dearly? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, but I see but rotten fruits on't. + +_Lady_. Do not denie your hand for I must kiss it, and take my last +farewell, now let me die so you be happy. + +_El. Lo_. I am too foolish: Ladie speak dear Ladie. + +_Lady_. No let me die. _She swounds._ + +_Mar_. Oh my Sister! + +_Abi_. O my Ladie help, help. + +_Mar_. Run for some _Rosalis_! + +_Elder Lo_. I have plaid the fine ass: bend her bodie, Lady, best, +dearest, worthiest Lady, hear your Servant, I am not as I shew'd: O +wretched fool, to fling away the Jewel of thy life thus. Give her more +air, see she begins to stir, sweet Mistress hear me! + +_Lady_. Is my Servant well? + +_Elder Lo_. In being yours I am so. + +_Lady_. Then I care not. + +_Elder Lo_. How do ye, reach a chair there; I confess my fault not +pardonable, in pursuing thus upon such tenderness my wilfull error; but +had I known it would have wrought thus with ye, thus strangely, not the +world had won me to it, and let not (my best Ladie) any word spoke to my +end disturb your quiet peace: for sooner shall you know a general ruine, +than my faith broken. Do not doubt this Mistris, for by my life I cannot +live without you. Come, come, you shall not grieve, rather be angrie, and +heap infliction upon me: I will suffer. O I could curse my self, pray +smile upon me. Upon my faith it was but a trick to trie you, knowing you +lov'd me dearlie, and yet strangely that you would never shew it, though +my means was all humilitie. + +_All_. Ha, ha. + +_Elder Lo_. How now? + +_Lady_. I thank you fine fool for your most fine plot; this was a subtile +one, a stiff device to have caught Dottrels with. Good senceless Sir, +could you imagine I should swound for you, and know your self to be an +arrant ass? I, a discovered one. 'Tis quit I thank you Sir. Ha, ha, ha. + +_Mar_. Take heed Sir, she may chance to swound again. + +_All_. Ha, ha, ha. + +_Abi_. Step to her Sir, see how she changes colour. + +_Elder Lo_. I'le goe to hell first, and be better welcom. +I am fool'd, I do confess it, finely fool'd, +Ladie, fool'd Madam, and I thank you for it. + +_Lady_. Faith 'tis not so much worth Sir: +But if I knew when you come next a burding, +I'le have a stronger noose to hold the Woodcock. + +_All_. Ha, ha, ha. + +_Elder Lo_. I am glad to see you merry, pray laugh on. + +_Mar_. H'ad a hard heart that could not laugh at you Sir, ha, ha, ha. + +_Lady_. Pray Sister do not laugh, you'le anger him, +And then hee'l rail like a rude Costermonger, +That School-boys had couzened of his Apples, +As loud and senceless. + +_Elder Lo_. I will not rail. + +_Mar_. Faith then let's hear him Sister. + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, you shall hear me. + +_Lady_. Shall we be the better by it then? + +_Eld. L_. No, he that makes a woman better by his words, +I'le have him Sainted: blows will not doe it. + +_Lady_. By this light hee'll beat us. + +_Elder Lo_. You do deserve it richly, +And may live to have a Beadle doe it. + +_Lady_. Now he rails. + +_Elder Lo_. Come scornfull Folly, +If this be railing, you shall hear me rail. + +_Lady_. Pray put it in good words then. + +_Elder Lo_. The worst are good enough for such a trifle, +Such a proud piece of Cobweblawn. + +_Lady_. You bite Sir? + +_Elder Lo_. I would till the bones crackt, and I had my will. + +_Mar_. We had best muzzel him, he grows mad. + +_Elder Lo_. I would 'twere lawfull in the next great sickness to have the +Dogs spared, those harmless creatures, and knock i'th' head these hot +continual plagues, women, that are more infectious. I hope the State will +think on't. + +_Lady_. Are you well Sir? + +_Mar_. He looks as though he had a grievous fit o'th' Colick. + +_Elder Lo_. Green-ginger will cure me. + +_Abig_. I'le heat a trencher for him. + +_Elder Lo_. Durty _December_ doe, Thou with a face as old as _Erra Pater_, +such a Prognosticating nose: thou thing that ten years since has left to +be a woman, outworn the expectation of a Baud; and thy dry bones can reach +at nothing now, but gords or ninepins, pray goe fetch a trencher goe. + +_Lady_. Let him alone, he's crack't. + +_Abig_. I'le see him hang'd first, is a beastly fellow to use a woman of +my breeding thus; I marry is he: would I were a man, I'de make him eat his +Knaves words! + +_Elder Lo_. Tie your she Otter up, good Lady folly, she stinks worse than +a Bear-baiting. + +_Lady_. Why will you be angry now? + +_Elder Lo_. Goe paint and purge, call in your kennel with you: you a Lady? + +_Abi_. Sirra, look to't against the quarter Sessions, if there be good +behaviour in the world, I'le have thee bound to it. + +_Elder Lo_. You must not seek it in your Ladies house then; pray send this +Ferret home, and spin good _Abigal_. And Madam, that your Ladiship may +know, in what base manner you have us'd my service, I do from this hour +hate thee heartily; and though your folly should whip you to repentance, +and waken you at length to see my wrongs, 'tis not the endeavour of your +life shall win me; not all the friends you have, intercession, nor your +submissive letters, though they spoke as many tears as words; not your +knees grown to th' ground in penitence, nor all your state, to kiss you; +nor my pardon, nor will to give you Christian burial, if you dye thus; so +farewell. When I am married and made sure, I'le come and visit you again, +and vex you Ladie. By all my hopes I'le be a torment to you, worse than a +tedious winter. I know you will recant and sue to me, but save that +labour: I'le rather love a fever and continual thirst, rather contract my +youth to drink and sacerdote upon quarrels, or take a drawn whore from an +Hospital, that time, diseases, and _Mercury_ had eaten, than to be drawn +to love you. + +_Lady_. Ha, ha, ha, pray do, but take heed though. + +_Elder Lo_. From thee, false dice, jades, Cowards, and plaguy Summers, +good Lord deliver me. [_Exit_ Elder Love. + +_Lady_. But hark you Servant, hark ye: is he gon? call him again. + +_Abigal_. Hang him Paddock. + +_Lady_. Art thou here still? flie, flie, and call my Servant, flie or ne'r +see me more. + +_Abigal_. I had rather knit again than see that rascall, but I must doe +it. [_Exit_ Abigal. + +_Lady_. I would be loth to anger him too much; what fine foolery is this +in a woman, to use those men most forwardly they love most? If I should +lose him thus, I were rightly served. I hope he's not so much himself, to +take it to th'heart: how now? will he come back? + +_Enter_ Abigal. + +_Abig_. Never, he swears, whilst he can hear men say there's any woman +living: he swore he would ha' me first. + +_Lady_. Didst thou intreat him wench? + +_Abigal_. As well as I could Madam. But this is still your way, to love +being absent, and when he's with you, laugh at him and abuse him. There's +another way if you could hit on't. + +_Lady_. Thou saist true, get me paper, pen and ink, I'le write to him, +I'de be loth he should sleep in's anger. Women are most fools when they +think th'are wisest. + [_Ex. Omnes._ + +_Musick. Enter_ Young Loveless, _and_ Widow, _going to be Married, with +them his_ Comrades. + +_Widow_. Pray Sir cast off these fellows, as unfitting for your bare +knowledge, and far more your companie: is't fit such Ragamuffins as these +are should bear the name of friends? and furnish out a civil house? ye're +to be married now, and men that love you must expect a course far from +your old carrier: if you will keep 'em, turn 'em to th' stable, and there +make 'em grooms: and yet now consider it, such beggars once set o' horse +back, you have heard will ride, how far you had best to look. + +_Captain_. Hear you, you that must be Ladie, pray content your self and +think upon your carriage soon at night, what dressing will best take your +Knight, what wastcote, what cordial will do well i'th' morning for him, +what triers have you? + +_Widow_. What do you mean Sir? + +_Capt_. Those that must switch him up: if he start well, fear not but cry +Saint _George_, and bear him hard: when you perceive his wind growes hot +and wanting, let him a little down, he's fleet, ne're doubt him, and +stands sound. + +_Widow_. Sir, you hear these fellows? + +_Young Love_. Merrie companions, wench, Merry companions. + +_Widow_. To one another let 'em be companions, but good Sir not to you: +you shall be civil and slip off these base trappings. + +_Cap_. He shall not need, my most swee[t] Ladie Grocer, if he be civil, +not your powdered Sugar, nor your Raisins shall perswade the Captain to +live a Coxcomb with him; let him be civil and eat i'th' _Arches_, and see +what will come on't. + +_Poet_. Let him be civil, doe: undo him; I, that's the next way. I will +not take (if he be civil once) two hundred pound a year to live with him; +be civil? there's a trim perswasion. + +_Capt_. If thou beest civil Knight, as _Jove_ defends it, get thee another +nose, that will be pull'd off by the angry boyes for thy conversion: the +children thou shalt get on this Civillian cannot inherit by the law, +th'are _Ethnicks_, and all thy sport meer Moral leacherie: when they are +grown, having but little in 'em, they may prove Haberdashers, or gross +Grocers, like their dear Damm there: prethee be civil Knight, in time thou +maist read to thy houshold, and be drunk once a year: this would shew +finely. + +_Young Lo_. I wonder sweet heart you will offer this, you do not +understand these Gentlemen: I will be short and pithy: I had rather cast +you off by the way of charge: these are Creatures, that nothing goes to +the maintenance of but Corn and Water. I will keep these fellows just in +the competencie of two Hens. + +_Wid_. If you can cast it so Sir, you have my liking. If they eat less, I +should not be offended: But how these Sir, can live upon so little as Corn +and Water, I am unbelieving. + +_Young Lo_. Why prethee sweet heart what's your Ale? is not that Corn and +Water, my sweet Widow? + +_Wid_. I but my sweet Knight where's the meat to this, and cloaths that +they must look for? + +_Young Lo_. In this short sentence Ale, is all included: Meat, Drink, and +Cloth; These are no ravening Footmen, no fellows, that at Ordinaries dare +eat their eighteen pence thrice out before they rise, and yet goe hungry +to play, and crack more nuts than would suffice a dozen Squirrels; besides +the din, which is damnable: I had rather rail, and be confin'd to a +_Boatmaker_, than live amongst such rascals; these are people of such a +clean discretion in their diet, of such a moderate sustenance, that they +sweat if they but smell hot meat. _Porredge_ is poison, they hate a +Kitchin as they hate a Counter, and show 'em but a Feather-bed they +swound. Ale is their eating and their drinking surely, which keeps their +bodies clear, and soluble. Bread is a binder, and for that abolisht even +in their Ale, whose lost room fills an apple, which is more airy and of +subtiler nature. The rest they take is little, and that little is little +easie: For like strict men of order, they do correct their bodies with a +bench, or a poor stubborn table; if a chimny offer it self with some few +broken rushes, they are in down: when they are sick, that's drunk, they +may have fresh straw, else they do despise these worldly pamperings. For +their poor apparel, 'tis worn out to the diet; new they seek none, and if +a man should offer, they are angrie, scarce to be reconcil'd again with +him: you shall not hear 'em ask one a cast doublet once in a year, which +is modesty befitting my poor friends: you see their _Wardrobe_, though +slender, competent: For shirts I take it, they are things worn out of +their remembrance. Lousie they will be when they list, and _mangie_, which +shows a fine variety: and then to cure 'em, a _Tanners_ limepit, which is +little charge, two dogs, and these; these two may be cur'd for 3. pence. + +_Wid_. You have half perswaded me, pray use your pleasure: and my good +friends since I do know your diet, I'le take an order, meat shall not +offend you, you shall have Ale. + +_Capt_. We ask no more, let it be, mighty Lady: and if we perish, then our +own sins on us. + +_Young Lo_. Come forward Gentlemen, to Church my boys, +when we have done, I'le give you cheer in bowles. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus Quintus. Scena Prima._ + + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless. + +_Elder Lo_. This senseless woman vexes me to th' heart, she will not from +my memory: would she were a man for one two hours, that I might beat her. +If I had been unhansome, old or jealous, 'thad been an even lay she might +have scorn'd me; but to be young, and by this light I think as proper as +the proudest; made as clean, as straight, and strong backt; means and +manners equal with the best cloth of silver Sir i'th' kingdom: But these +are things at some time of the Moon, below the cut of Canvas: sure she has +some Meeching Rascal in her house, some Hind, that she hath seen bear +(like another _Milo_) quarters of Malt upon his back, and sing with't, +Thrash all day, and i'th' evening in his stockings, strike up a Hornpipe, +and there stink two hours, and ne're a whit the worse man; these are they, +these steel chin'd Rascals that undo us all. Would I had been a Carter, or +a Coachman, I had done the deed e're this time. + +_Enter_ Servant. + +_Ser_. Sir, there's a Gentleman without would speak with you. + +_Elder Lo_. Bid him come in. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel_. By your leave Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. You are welcome, what's your will Sir? + +_Wel_. Have you forgotten me? + +_Elder Lo_. I do not much remember you. + +_Wel_. You must Sir. I am that Gentleman you pleas'd to wrong, in your +disguise, I have inquired you out. + +_Elder Lo_. I was disguised indeed Sir if I wrong'd you, pray where and +when? + +_Wel_. In such a Ladies house, I need not name her. + +_Elder Lo_. I do remember you, you seem'd to be a Sutor to that Lady? + +_Wel_. If you remember this, do not forget how scurvily you us'd me: that +was no place to quarrel in, pray you think of it; if you be honest you +dare fight with me, without more urging, else I must provoke ye. + +_Elder Lo_. Sir I dare fight, but never for a woman, I will not have her +in my cause, she's mortal, and so is not my anger: if you have brought a +nobler subject for our Swords, I am for you; in this I would be loth to +prick my Finger. And where you say I wrong'd you, 'tis so far from my +profession, that amongst my fears, to do wrong is the greatest: credit me +we have been both abused, (not by our selves, for that I hold a spleen, no +sin of malice, and may with man enough be best forgoten,) but by that +willfull, scornful piece of hatred, that much forgetful Lady: for whose +sake, if we should leave our reason, and run on upon our sense, like +_Rams_, the little world of good men would laugh at us, and despise us, +fixing upon our desperate memories the never-worn out names of Fools and +Fencers. Sir 'tis not fear, but reason makes me tell you; in this I had +rather help you Sir, than hurt you, and you shall find it, though you +throw your self into as many dangers as she offers, though you redeem her +lost name every day, and find her out new honours with your Sword, you +shall but be her mirth as I have been. + +_Wel_. I ask you mercy Sir, you have ta'ne my edge off: yet I would fain +be even with this Lady. + +_Elder Lo_. In which I'le be your helper: we are two, and they are two: +two Sisters, rich alike, only the elder has the prouder Dowry: In troth I +pity this disgrace in you, yet of mine own I am senceless: do but follow +my Counsel, and I'le pawn my spirit, we'l overreach 'em yet; the means is +this-- + +_Enter_ Servant. + +_Ser_. Sir there's a Gentlewoma[n] will needs speak with you, I cannot +keep her out, she's entred Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. It is the waiting woman, pray be not seen: sirrah hold her in +discourse a while: hark in your ear, go and dispatch it quickly, when I +come in, I'le tell you all the project. + +_Wel_. I care not which I have. [_Exit_ Welford. + +_Elder Lo_. Away, 'tis done, she must not see you: now Lady _Guiniver_ +what news with you? + +_Enter_ Abigal. + +_Abig_. Pray leave these frumps Sir, and receive this letter. + +_Elder Lo_. From whom good vanity? + +_Abig_. 'Tis from my Lady Sir: Alas good soul, she cries and takes on! + +_Elder Lo_. Do's she so good Soul? wou'd she not have a Cawdle? do's she +send you with your fine Oratory goody _Tully_ to tye me to believe again? +bring out the Cat-hounds, I'le make you take a tree Whore, then with my +tiller bring down your _Gibship_, and then have you cast, and hung up +i'th' Warren. + +_Abig_. I am no beast Sir, would you knew it. + +_Elder Lo_. Wou'd I did, for I am yet very doubtful; what will you say +now? + +_Abig_. Nothing not I. + +_Elder Lo_. Art thou a woman, and say nothing? + +_Abig_. Unless you'l hear me with more moderation, I can speak wise +enough. + +_Elder Lo_. And loud enough? will your Lady love me? + +_Abig_. It seems so by her letter, and her lamentations; but you are such +another man. + +_Elder Lo_. Not such another as I was, Mumps; nor will not be: I'le read +her fine Epistle: ha, ha, ha, is not thy Mistress mad? + +_Abig_. For you she will be, 'tis a shame you should use a poor +Gentlewoman so untowardly; she loves the ground you tread on; and you +(hard heart) because she jested with you, mean to kill her; 'tis a fine +conquest as they say. + +_Elder Lo_. Hast thou so much moisture in the Whitleather hide yet, that +thou canst cry? I wou'd have sworn thou hadst been touchwood five year +since; nay let it rain, thy face chops for a shower like a dry Dunghil. + +_Abig_. I'le not indure this Ribauldry; farewel i'th' Devils name; if my +Lady die, I'le be sworn before a Jury, thou art the cause on't. + +_Elder Lo_. Do Maukin do, deliver to your Lady from me this: I mean to see +her, if I have no other business: which before I'le want to come to her, I +mean to go seek birds nests: yet I may come too: but if I come, from this +door till I see her, will I think how to rail vildly at her; how to vex +her, and make her cry so much, that the Physician if she fall sick upon't, +shall find the cause to be want of Urine, and she remediless dye in her +Heresie: Farewell old Adage, I hope to see the Boys make Potguns on thee. + +_Abig_. Th'art a vile man, God bless my issue from thee. + +_Elder Lo_. Thou hast but one, and that's in thy left crupper, that makes +thee hobble so; you must be ground i'th' breach like a Top, you'I ne're +spin well else: Farewell Fytchock. [_Exeunt_. + +_Enter_ Lady _alone_. + +_Lady_. Is it not strange that every womans will should track out new +wayes to disturb her self? if I should call my reason to account, it +cannot answer why I keep my self from mine own wish, and stop the man I +love from his; and every hour repent again, yet still go on: I know 'tis +like a man, that wants his natural sleep, and growing dull would gladly +give the remnant of his life for two hours rest; yet through his +frowardness, will rather choose to watch another man, drowsie as he, than +take his own repose. All this I know: yet a strange peevishness and anger, +not to have the power to do things unexpected, carries me away to mine own +ruine: I had rather die sometimes than not disgrace in public him whom +people think I love, and do't with oaths, and am in earnest then: O what +are we! Men, you must answer this, that dare obey such things as we +command. How now? what newes? + +_Enter_ Abigal. + +_Abi_. Faith Madam none worth hearing. + +_Lady_. Is he not come? + +_Abi_. No truly. + +_Lady_. Nor has he writ? + +_Abigal_. Neither. I pray God you have not undone your self. + +_Lady_. Why, but what saies he? + +_Abi_. Faith he talks strangely. + +_Lady_. How strangely? + +_Abi_. First at your Letter he laught extremely. + +_Lady_. What, in contempt? + +_Abi._ He laught monstrous loud, as he would die, and when you wrote it I +think you were in no such merry mood, to provoke him that way: and having +done he cried Alas for her, and violently laught again. + +_Lady._ Did he? + +_Abi._ Yes, till I was angry. + +_Lady._ Angry, why? why wert thou angry? he did doe but well, I did +deserve it, he had been a fool, an unfit man for any one to love, had he +not laught thus at me: you were angry, that show'd your folly; I shall +love him more for that, than all that ere he did before: but said he +nothing else? + +_Abi._ Many uncertain things: he said though you had mockt him, because +you were a woman, he could wish to do you so much favour as to see you: +yet he said, he knew you rash, and was loth to offend you with the sight +of one, whom now he was bound not to leave. + +_Lady._ What one was that? + +_Abi._ I know not, but truly I do fear there is a making up there: for I +heard the servants, as I past by some, whisper such a thing: and as I came +back through the hall, there were two or three Clarks writing great +conveyances in hast, which they said were for their Mistris joynture. + +_Lady._ 'Tis very like, and fit it should be so, for he does think, and +reasonably think, that I should keep him with my idle tricks for ever ere +he be married. + +_Abi._ At last he said, it should go hard but he would see you for your +satisfaction. + +_Lady._ All we that are called Women, know as well as men, it were a far +more noble thing to grace where we are grace't, and give respect there +where we are respected: yet we practise a wilder course, and never bend +our eyes on men with pleasure, till they find the way to give us a +neglect: then we, too late, perceive the loss of what we might have had, +and dote to death. + +_Enter_ Martha. + +_Mar._ Sister, yonder's your Servant, with a Gentlewoman with him. + +_Lady._ Where? + +_Mar._ Close at the door. + +_Lady._ Alas I am undone, I fear he is be[t]roth'd, +What kind of woman is she? + +_Mar._ A most ill favoured one, with her Masque on: +And how her face should mend the rest I know not. + +_La._ But yet her mind was of a milder stuff than mine was. + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless, _and_ Welford _in Womans apparel._ + +_Lady._ Now I see him, if my heart swell not again (away thou womans +pride) so that I cannot speak a gentle word to him, let me not live. + +_Elder Lo._ By your leave here. + +_Lady._ How now, what new trick invites you hither? +Ha'you a fine device again? + +_Elder Lo._ Faith this is the finest device I have now: +How dost thou sweet heart? + +_Wel._ Why very well, so long as I may please +You my dear Lover. I nor can, nor will +Be ill when you are well, well when you are ill. + +_Elder Lo._ O thy sweet temper! what would I have given, that Lady had +been like thee: seest thou her? that face (my love) join'd with thy humble +mind, had made a wench indeed. + +_Wel._ Alas my love, what God hath done, I dare not think to mend. I use +no paint, nor any drugs of Art, my hands and face will shew it. + +_La._ Why what thing have you brought to shew us there? do you take mony +for it? + +_Elder Lo._ A Godlike thing, not to be bought for mony: 'tis my Mistris: +in whom there is no passion, nor no scorn: what I will is for law; pray +you salute her. + +_Lady._ Salute her? by this good light, I would not kiss her for half my +wealth. + +_Elder Lo._ Why? why pray you? +You shall see me do't afore you; look you. + +_Lady._ Now fie upon thee, a beast would not have don't. +I would not kiss thee of a month to gain a Kingdom. + +_Elder Lo._ Marry you shall not be troubled. + +_Lady._ Why was there ever such a _Meg_ as this? +Sure thou art mad. + +_Elder Lo._ I was mad once, when I lov'd pictures; for what are shape and +colours else, but pictures? in that tawnie hide there lies an endless mass +of vertues, when all your red and white ones want it. + +_Lady._ And this is she you are to marry, is't not? + +_Elder Lo._ Yes indeed is't. + +_Lady._ God give you joy. + +_Elder Lo._ Amen. + +_Wel._ I thank yo[u], as unknown for your good wish. +The like to you when ever you shall wed. + +_Elder Lo._ O gentle Spirit! + +_Lady._ You thank me? I pray +Keep your breath nearer you, I do not like it. + +_Wel._ I would not willingly offend at all, +Much less a Lady of your worthie parts. + +_Elder Lo._ Sweet, Sweet! + +_La._ I do not think this woman can by nature be thus, +Thus ugly; sure she's some common Strumpet, +Deform'd with exercise of sin? + +_Wel._ O Sir believe not this, for Heaven so comfort me as I am free from +foul pollution with any man; my honour ta'ne away, I am no woman. + +_Elder Lo._ Arise my dearest Soul; I do not credit it. Alas, I fear her +tender heart will break with this reproach; fie that you know no more +civility to a weak Virgin. 'Tis no matter Sweet, let her say what she +will, thou art not worse to me, and therefore not at all; be careless. + +_Wel._ For all things else I would, but for mine honor; Me thinks. + +_Elder Lo._ Alas, thine honour is not stain'd, +Is this the business that you sent for me about? + +_Mar._ Faith Sister you are much to blame, to use a woman, whatsoe're she +be, thus; I'le salute her: You are welcome hither. + +_Wel._ I humbly thank you. + +_Elder Lo._ Milde yet as the Dove, for all these injuries. Come shall we +goe, I love thee not so ill to keep thee here a jesting stock. Adue to the +worlds end. + +_Lady._ Why whither now? + +_Elder Lo._ Nay you shall never know, because you shall not find me. + +_Lady._ I pray let me speak with you. + +_Elder Lo._ 'Tis very well: come. + +_Lady._ I pray you let me speak with you. + +_Elder Lo._ Yes for another mock. + +_Lady._ By Heaven I have no mocks: good Sir a word. + +_Elder Lo._ Though you deserve not so much at my hands, yet if you be in +such earnest, I'le speak a word with you; but I beseech you be brief: for +in good faith there's a Parson and a licence stay for us i'th' Church all +this while: and you know 'tis night. + +_Lady._ Sir, give me hearing patiently, and whatsoever I have heretofore +spoke jestingly, forget: for as I hope for mercy any where, what I shall +utter now is from my heart, and as I mean. + +_Elder Lo._ Well, well, what do you mean? + +_Lady._ Was not I once your Mistress, and you my Servant? + +_Elder Lo._ O 'tis about the old matter. + +_Lady._ Nay good Sir stay me out; I would but hear you excuse your self, +why you should take this woman, and leave me. + +_Elder Lo._ Prethee why not, deserves she not as much as you? + +_Lady._ I think not, if you will look +With an indifferency upon us both. + +_Elder Lo._ Upon your faces, 'tis true: but if judiciously we shall cast +our eyes upon your minds, you are a thousand women of her in worth: she +cannot swound in jest, nor set her lover tasks, to shew her peevishness, +and his affection, nor cross what he saies, though it be Canonical. She's +a good plain wench, that will do as I will have her, and bring me lusty +Boys to throw the Sledge, and lift at Pigs of Lead: and for a Wife, she's +far beyond you: what can you do in a houshold to provide for your issue, +but lye i' bed and get 'em? your business is to dress you, and at idle +hours to eat; when she can do a thousand profitable things: she can do +pretty well in the Pastry, and knows how Pullen should be cram'd, she cuts +Cambrick at a thread, weaves Bone-lace, and quilts Balls; and what are you +good for? + +_Lady._ Admit it true, that she were far beyond me in all respects, does +that give you a licence to forswear your self? + +_Elder Lo._ Forswear my self, how? + +_Lady._ Perhaps you have forgotten the innumerable oaths you have utter'd +in disclaiming all for Wives but me: I'le not remember you: God give you +joy. + +_Elder Lo._ Nay but conceive me, the intent of oaths is ever understood: +Admit I should protest to such a friend, to see him at his Lodging to +morrow: Divines would never hold me perjur'd if I were struck blind, or he +hid him where my diligent search could not find him: so there were no +cross act of mine own in't. Can it be imagined I mean to force you to +Marriage, and to have you whether you will or no? + +_Lady._ Alas you need not. I make already tender of my self, and then you +are forsworn. + +_Elder Lo._ Some sin I see indeed must necessarily fall upon me, as +whosoever deals with Women shall never utterly avoid it: yet I would chuse +the least ill; which is to forsake you, that have done me all the abuses +of a malignant Woman, contemn'd my service, and would have held me prating +about Marriage, till I had been past getting of Children: then her that +hath forsaken her Family, and put her tender body in my hand, upon my +word-- + +_Lady._ Which of us swore you first to? + +_Elder Lo._ Why to you. + +_Lady._ Which oath is to be kept then? + +_Elder Lo._ I prethee do not urge my sins unto me, +Without I could amend 'em. + +_Lady._ Why you may by wedding me. + +_Elder Lo._ How will that satisfie my word to her? + +_Lady._ 'Tis not to be kept, and needs no satisfaction, +'Tis an error fit for repentance only. + +_Elder Lo._ Shall I live to wrong that tender hearted Virgin so? It may +not be. + +_Lady._ Why may it not be? + +_Elder Lo._ I swear I would rather marry thee than her: but yet mine +honesty? + +_Lady._ What honesty? 'Tis more preserv'd this way: +Come, by this light, servant, thou shalt, I'le kiss thee on't. + +_Elder Lo._ This kiss indeed is sweet, pray God no sin lie under it. + +_Lady._ There is no sin at all, try but another. + +_Wel._ O my heart! + +_Mar._ Help Sister, this Lady swounds. + +_Elder Lo._ How do you? + +_Wel._ Why very well, if you be so. + +_Elder Lo._ Since a quiet mind lives not in any Woman, I shall do a most +ungodly thing. Hear me one word more, which by all my hopes I will not +alter, I did make an oath when you delai'd me so, that this very night I +would be married. Now if you will go without delay, suddenly, as late as +it is, with your own Minister to your own Chapel, I'le wed you and to bed. + +_Lady._ A match dear servant. + +_Elder Lo._ For if you should forsake me now, I care not, she would not +though for all her injuries, such is her spirit. If I be not ashamed to +kiss her now I part, may I not live. + +_Wel._ I see you go, as slily as you think to steal away: yet I will pray +for you; all blessings of the world light on you two, that you may live to +be an aged pair. All curses on me if I do not speak what I do wish indeed. + +_Elder Lo._ If I can speak to purpose to her, I am a villain. + +_Lady._ Servant away. + +_Mar._ Sister, will you Marry that inconstant man? think you he will not +cast you off to morrow, to wrong a Lady thus, lookt she like dirt, 'twas +basely done. May you ne're prosper with him. + +_Wel._ Now God forbid. Alas I was unworthy, so I told him. + +_Mar._ That was your modesty, too good for him. +I would not see your wedding for a world. + +_Lady._ Chuse chuse, come _Younglove_. + + [_Exit_ La. Elder Lo. _and_ Young. + +_Mar._ Dry up your eyes forsooth, you shall not think we are all such +uncivil beasts as these. Would I knew how to give you a revenge. + +_Wel._ So would not I: No let me suffer truly, that I desire. + +_Mar._ Pray walk in with me, 'tis very late, and you shall stay all night: +your bed shall be no worse than mine; I wish I could but do you right. + +_Wel._ My humble thanks: +God grant I may but live to quit your love. [_Exeunt._ + + _Enter_ Young Loveless _and_ Savil. + +_Young Lo._ Did your Master send for me _Savil_? + +_Sav._ Yes, he did send for your worship Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Do you know the business? + +_Sav._ Alas Sir, I know nothing, nor am imployed beyond my hours of +eating. My dancing days are done Sir. + +_Young Lo._ What art thou now then? + +_Sav._ If you consider me in little, I am with your worships reverence +Sir, a Rascal: one that upon the next anger of your Brother, must raise a +sconce by the high way, and sell switches; my wife is learning now Sir, to +weave inkle. + +_Young Lo._ What dost thou mean to do with thy Children _Savil_? + +_Sav._ My eldest boy is half a Rogue already, he was born bursten, and +your worship knows, that is a pretty step to mens compassions. My youngest +boy I purpose Sir to bind for ten years to a G[ao]ler, to draw under him, +that he may shew us mercy in his function. + +_Young Lo._ Your family is quartered with discretion: you are resolved to +Cant then: where _Savil_ shall your scene lie? + +_Sav._ Beggers must be no chusers. +In every place (I take it) but the stocks. + +_Young Lo._ This is your drinking, and your whoring _Savil_, I told you of +it, but your heart was hardened. + +_Sav._ 'Tis true, you were the first that told me of it I do remember yet +in tears, you told me you would have Whores, and in that passion Sir, you +broke out thus; Thou miserable man, repent, and brew three Strikes more in +a Hogshead. 'Tis noon e're we be drunk now, and the time can tarry for no +man. + +_Young Lo._ Y'are grown a bitter Gentleman. I see misery can clear your +head better than Mustard, I'le be a sutor for your Keys again Sir. + +_Sav._ Will you but be so gracious to me Sir? I shall be bound. + +_Young Lo._ You shall Sir +To your bunch again, or I'le miss foully. + + _Enter_ Morecraft. + +_Mor._ Save you Gentleman, save you. + +_Young Lo._ Now Polecat, what young Rabets nest have you to draw? + +_Mor._ Come, prethee be familiar Knight. + +_Young Lo._ Away Fox, I'le send for Terriers for you. + +_Mor._ Thou art wide yet: I'le keep thee companie. + +_Young Lo._ I am about some business; Indentures, +If ye follow me I'le beat you: take heed, +A[s] I live I'le cancel your Coxcomb. + +_Mor._ Thou art cozen'd now, I am no usurer: +What poor fellow's this? + +_Savil._ I am poor indeed Sir. + +_Mor._ Give him mony Knight. + +_Young Lo._ Do you begin the offering. + +_Mor._ There poor fellow, here's an Angel for thee. + +_Young Lo._ Art thou in earnest _Morecraft_? + +_Mor._ Yes faith Knight, I'le follow thy example: thou hadst land and +thousands, thou spendst, and flungst away, and yet it flows in double: I +purchased, wrung, and wierdraw'd, for my wealth, lost, and was cozen'd: +for which I make a vow, to trie all the waies above ground, but I'le find +a constant means to riches without curses. + +_Young Lo._ I am glad of your conversion Master _Morecraft_: +Y'are in a fair course, pray pursue it still. + +_Mor._ Come, we are all gallants now, I'le keep thee company; +Here honest fellow, for this Gentlemans sake, there's two Angels more for +thee. + +_Savil._ God quite you Sir, and keep you long in this mind. + +_Young Lo._ Wilt thou persevere? + +_Mor._ Till I have a penny. I have brave cloathes a making, and two +horses; canst thou not help me to a match Knight, I'le lay a thousand +pound upon my crop-ear. + +_Yo. Lo._ Foot, this is stranger than an _Africk_ monster, There will be +no more talk of the _Cleve_ wars Whilst this lasts, come, I'le put thee +into blood. + +_Sav._ Would all his damn'd tribe were as tender hearted. I beseech you +let this Gentleman join with you in the recovery of my Keyes; I like his +good beginning Sir, the whilst I'le pray for both your worships. + +_Young Lo._ He shall Sir. + +_Mor._ Shall we goe noble Knight? I would fain be acquainted. + +_Young Lo._ I'le be your Servant Sir. [_Exeunt._ + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless, _and_ Lady. + +_Elder Lo._ Faith my sweet Lady, I have caught you now, maugre your +subtilties, and fine devices, be coy again now. + +_Lady._ Prethee sweet-heart tell true. + +_Elder Lo._ By this light, by all the pleasures I have had this night, by +your lost maidenhead, you are cozened meerly. I have cast beyond your wit. +That Gentleman is your retainer _Welford_. + +_Lady._ It cannot be so. + +_Elder Lo._ Your Sister has found it so, or I mistake, mark how she +blushes when you see her next. Ha, ha, ha, I shall not travel now, ha, ha, +ha. + +_Lady._ Prethee sweet heart be quiet, thou hast angred me at heart. + +_Elder Lo._ I'le please you soon again. + +_La._ Welford? + +_Elder Lo._ I _Welford_, hee's a young handsome fellow, well bred and +landed, your Sister can instruct you in his good parts, better than I by +this time. + +_Lady._ Uds foot am I fetcht over thus? + +_Elder Lo._ Yes i'faith. +And over shall be fetcht again, never fear it. + +_Lady._ I must be patient, though it torture me: +You have got the Sun Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ And the Moon too, in which I'le be the man. + +_Lady._ But had I known this, had I but surmiz'd it, you should have +hunted three trains more, before you had come to th' course, you should +have hankt o'th' bridle, Sir, i'faith. + +_El. Lo._ I knew it, and min'd with you, and so blew you up. +Now you may see the Gentlewoman: stand close. + +_Enter_ Welford, _and_ Martha. + +_Mar._ For Gods sake Sir, be private in this business, +You have undone me else. O God, what have I done? + +_Wel._ No harm I warrant thee. + +_Mar._ How shall I look upon my friends again? +With what face? + +_Wel._ Why e'ne with that: 'tis a good one, thou canst not find a better: +look upon all the faces thou shall see there, and you shall find 'em +smooth still, fair still, sweet still, and to your thinking honest; those +have done as much as you have yet, or dare doe Mistris, and yet they keep +no stir. + +_Mar._ Good Sir goe in, and put your womans cloaths on: +If you be seen thus, I am lost for ever. + +_Wel._ I'le watch you for that Mistris: I am no fool, here will I tarry +till the house be up and witness with me. + +_Mar._ Good dear friend goe in. + +_Wel._ To bed again if you please, else I am fixt here till there be +notice taken what I am, and what I have done: if you could juggle me into +my woman-hood again, and so cog me out of your company, all this would be +forsworn, and I again an _asinego_, as your Sister left me. No, I'le have +it known and publisht; then if you'le be a whore, forsake me and be +asham'd: and when you can hold no longer, marry some cast _Cleve Captain_, +and sell Bottle-ale. + +_Mar._ I dare not stay Sir, use me modestly, I am your wife. + +_Wel._ Goe in, I'le make up all. + +_Elder Lo._ I'le be a witness of your naked truth Sir: this is the +Gentlewoman, prethee look upon him, that is he that made me break my faith +sweet: but thank your Sister, she hath soder'd it. + +_Lady._ What a dull ass was I, I could not see this wencher from a wench: +twenty to one, if I had been but tender like my Sister, he had served me +such a slippery trick too. + +_Wel._ Twenty to one I had. + +_Elder Lo._ I would have watcht you Sir, by your good patience, for +ferreting in my ground. + +_Lady._ You have been with my Sister. + +_Wel._ Yes to bring. + +_Elder Lo._ An heir into the world he means. + +_Lady._ There is no chafing now. + +_Wel._ I have had my part on't: I have been chaft this three hours, that's +the least, I am reasonable cool now. + +_Lady._ Cannot you fare well, but you must cry roast-meat? + +_Wel._ He that fares well, and will not bless the founders, is either +surfeited, or ill taught, Lady, for mine own part, I have found so sweet a +diet, I can commend it, though I cannot spare it. + +_Elder Lo._ How like you this dish, _Welford_, I made a supper on't, and +fed so heartily, I could not sleep. + +_Lady._ By this light, had I but scented out your [train], ye had slept +with a bare pillow in your arms and kist that, or else the bed-post, for +any wife ye had got this twelve-month yet: I would have vext you more than +a try'd post-horse; and been longer bearing, than ever after-game at +_Irish_ was. Lord, that I were unmarried again. + +_Elder Lo._ Lady I would not undertake ye, were you again a _Haggard_, for +the best cast of four Ladys i'th' Kingdom: you were ever tickle-footed, +and would not truss round. + +_Wel._ Is she fast? + +_Elder Lo._ She was all night lockt here boy. + +_Wel._ Then you may lure her without fear of losing: take off her Cranes. +You have a delicate Gentlewoman to your Sister: Lord what a prettie furie +she was in, when she perceived I was a man: but I thank God I satisfied +her scruple, without the Parson o'th' town. + +_Elder Lo._ What did ye? + +_Wel._ Madam, can you tell what we did? + +_Elder Lo._ She has a shrewd guess at it I see it by her. + +_Lady._ Well you may mock us: but my large Gentlewoman, my _Mary Ambre_, +had I but seen into you, you should have had another bed-fellow, fitter a +great deal for your itch. + +_Wel._ I thank you Lady, me thought it was well, +You are so curious. + +_Enter_ Young Loveless, _his_ Lady, Morecraft, Savil, _and two +Servingmen._ + +_El. Lo._ Get on your doublet, here comes my Brother. + +_Yo. Lo._ Good morrow Brother, and all good to your Lady. + +_Mor._ God save you and good morrow to you all. + +_El. Lo._ Good morrow. Here's a poor brother of yours. + +_Lady._ Fie how this shames me. + +_Mor._ Prethee good fellow help me to a cup of beer. + +_Ser._ I will Sir. + +_Yo. Lo._ Brother what makes you here? will this Lady do? +Will she? is she not nettl'd still? + +_Elder Lo._ No I have cur'd her. +Mr. _Welford_, pray know this Gentleman is my Brother. + +_Wel._ Sir I shall long to love him. + +_Yo. Lo._ I shall not be your debter Sir. But how is't with you? + +_Elder Lo._ As well as may be man: I am married: your new acquaintance +hath her Sister, and all's well. + +_Yo. Lo._ I am glad on't. Now my prettie Lady Sister, +How do you find my Brother? + +_Lady._ Almost as wild as you are. + +_Yo. Lo._ He will make the better husband: you have tried him? + +_Lady._ Against my will Sir. + +_Yo. Lo._ Hee'l make your will amends soon, do not doubt it. +But Sir I must intreat you to be better known +To this converted _Jew_ here. + +_Ser._ Here's Beer for you Sir. + +_Mor._ And here's for you an Angel: +Pray buy no Land, 'twill never prosper Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ How's this? + +_Yo. Lo._ Bless you, and then I'le tell: He's turn'd Gallant. + +_Elder Lo._ Gallant? + +_Yo. Lo._ I Gallant, and is now called, _Cutting Morecraft_: +The reason I'le inform you at more leisure. + +_Wel._ O good Sir let me know him presently. + +_Young Lo._ You shall hug one another. + +_Mor._ Sir I must keep you company. + +_Elder Lo._ And reason. + +_Young Lo._ Cutting _Morecraft_ faces about, I must present another. + +_Mor._ As many as you will Sir, I am for 'em. + +_Wel._ Sir I shall do you service. + +_Mor._ I shall look for't in good faith Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ Prethee good sweet heart kiss him. + +_Lady._ Who, that fellow? + +_Savil._ Sir will it please you to remember me: my keys good Sir. + +_Young Lo._ I'le doe it presently. + +_El. Lo._ Come thou shalt kiss him for our sport sake. + +_La._ Let him come on then; and do you hear, do not instruct me in these +tricks, for you may repent it. + +_El. Lo._ That at my peril. Lusty Mr. _Morecraft_, +Here is a Lady would salute you. + +_Mor._ She shall not lose her longing Sir: what is she? + +_Elder Lo._ My wife Sir. + +_Mor._ She must be then my Mistres. + +_Lady._ Must I Sir? + +_Elder Lo._ O yes, you must. + +_Mor._ And you must take this ring, a poor pawn +Of some fiftie pound. + +_El Lo._ Take it by any means, 'tis lawfull prize. + +_Lady._ Sir I shall call you servant. + +_Mor._ I shall be proud on't: what fellow's that? + +_Young Lo._ My Ladies Coachman. + +_Mor._ There's something, (my friend) for you to buy whips, +And for you Sir, and you Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ Under a miracle this is the strangest +I ever heard of. + +_Mor._ What, shall we play, or drink? what shall we doe? +Who will hunt with me for a hundred pounds? + +_Wel._ Stranger and Stranger! +Sir you shall find sport after a day or two. + +_Young Lo._ Sir I have a sute unto you +Concerning your old servant _Savil_. + +_Elder Lo._ O, for his keys, I know it. + +_Savil._ Now Sir, strike in. + +_Mor._ Sir I must have you grant me. + +_Elder Lo._ 'Tis done Sir, take your keys again: +But hark you _Savil_, leave off the motions +Of the flesh, and be honest, or else you shall graze again: +I'le try you once more. + +_Savil._ If ever I be taken drunk, or whoring, +Take off the biggest key i'th' bunch, and open +My head with it Sir: I humbly thank your worships. + +_Elder Lo._ Nay then I see we must keep holiday. + _Enter_ Roger, _and_ Abigal. +Here's the last couple in hell. + +_Roger._ Joy be among you all. + +_Lady._ Why how now Sir, what is the meaning of this emblem? + +_Roger._ Marriage an't like your worship. + +_Lady._ Are you married? + +_Roger._ As well as the next Priest could doe it, Madam. + +_Elder Lo._ I think the sign's in _Gemini_, here's such coupling. + +_Wel._ Sir _Roger_, what will you take to lie from your sweet-heart to +night? + +_Roger._ Not the best benefice in your worships gift Sir. + +_Wel._ A whorson, how he swells. + +_Young Lo._ How many times to night Sir _Roger_? + +_Roger._ Sir you grow scurrilous: +What I shall do, I shall do: I shall not need your help. + +_Young Lo._ For horse flesh _Roger_. + +_Elder Lo._ Come prethee be not angry, 'tis a day +Given wholly to our mirth. + +_Lady._ It shall be so Sir: Sir _Roger_ and his Bride, +We shall intreat to be at our charge. + +_El. Lo._ _Welford_ get you to the Church: by this light, +You shall not lie with her again, till y'are married. + +_Wel._ I am gone. + +_Mor._ To every Bride I dedicate this day +Six healths a piece, and it shall goe hard, +But every one a Jewell: Come be mad boys. + +_El. Lo._ Th'art in a good beginning: come who leads? +Sir _Roger_, you shall have the _Van_: lead the way: +Would every dogged wench had such a day. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +(A) The | Scornful | Ladie. | A Comedie. | As it was Acted (with great +applause) by the children of Her Majesties | Revels in the Blacke | +Fryers. +Written by | Fra. Beaumont and Jo. Fletcher, Gent. | London | Printed for +Myles Partrich, and are to be sold | at his Shop at the George neere St +Dunstans | Church in Fleet-streete. 1616. + +(B) The | Scorneful | Ladie. | A Comedie. | As it was now lately Acted +(with | great applause) by the Kings | Majesties servants, at the | Blacke +Fryers. | Written by | Fra. Beaumont, and Jo. Fletcher, | Gentlemen. | +London, | Printed for M.P. and are to be sold by | Thomas Jones, at the +blacke Raven, in | the Strand. 1625. + +(C) The | Scornefull | Ladie. | A Comedie. | As it was now lately Acted +(with great | applause) by the Kings Majesties Servants, | at the +Blacke-Fryers. +| Written | By Fran: Beaumont, and Jo: Fletcher, | Gentlemen. | The +third Edition. | London. | Printed by B.A. and T.F. for T. Jones, and are +to be sold at his | Shop in St. Dunstans Church-yard in Fleet-street. | +1630. + +(D) The | Scornfull | Ladie. | A Comedy. | As it was now lately Acted +(with great | applause) by the Kings Majesties Servants, | at the +Blacke-Fryers. +| Written by Francis Beaymont, and John Fletcher, Gentlemen. | The +fourth Edition. | London, | Printed by A.M. 1635. + +(E) The | Scornfull | Lady. | A Comedy. | As it was now lately Acted +(with great | applause) by the Kings Majesties Servants, [at the +Blacke-Fryers. +| Written by Francis Beaumont, and John Fletcher. Gentlemen. | +The fift Edition. | London, | Printed by M.P. for Robert Wilson, and are +to be sold at | his shop in Holborne at Grayes-Inne Gate. | 1639. + +(F) The | Scornfull | Lady. | A Comedy. | As it was Acted (with great +applause) by | the late Kings Majesties Servants, | at the Black-Fryers. +| Written by Francis Beaumont, and John Fletcher. Gentlemen. | The sixt +Edition, Corrected and | amended. | London: | Printed for Humphrey +Moseley, and are to be sold at his Shop | at the Princes Armes in St. +Pauls Church-yard. 1651. +(The British Museum copy lacks the printer's device on the title-page, +possessed by other copies seen; it varies also slightly in spelling etc.) + +(G) The | Scornful | Lady: | A | Comedy. | As it is now Acted at the | +Theater Royal, | by | His Majesties Servants. +| Written by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher Gent. | The Seventh +Edition. | London: | Printed by A. Maxwell and R. Roberts, for D.N. and +T.C. and are | to be sold by Simon Neale, at the Three Pidgeons in | +Bedford-street in Covent-Garden, 1677. + +p. 231, +l. 5. A omits list of Persons Represented in the Play. + B--E print the list on the back of the title-page, under the + heading 'The Actors are these.' + In F and G the same list is printed on a separate page following + the title-page. + G] The Names of the Actors. +l. 8. B and C] the eldest. D--G] the elder. + +p. 232, +l. 1. A] a Userer. +l. 4. A] Savill make the boate stay. + B _prints_ '_Savil._ Make the boat stay,' as if the rest of the + speech were spoken by Savil. + C--G for '_Savil_' print '_Yo. Lo._,' thus giving the words to + Young Loveless. +l. 9. E and G] at home marry. +l. 10. A--E and G] your countrey. + F] your own country. + A and B] then to travell for diseases, and returne following + the Court in a nightcap, and die without issue. +l. 15. Here and throughout the scene for 'Younglove' D--G] Abigall. +l. 16. A--C] Mistres. D] Mistrisse. E--G] Mistris. +l. 22. A and B] for me. +l. 33. E--G _omit_] Exit. + +p. 233, +l. 2. G] acted Loves. +l. 3. A, B and E--G] murtherers. +l. 6. A and B] that shall be. +l. 12. A--G] woman. +l. 25. A--G _omit_] and. +l. 31. F] out there. +l. 35. D--G for _Younglove_] Abigall. + +p. 234, +l. 5. F] time of place. +l. 16. E--G _omit_] Yes. +l. 19. E--G] that can. +l. 27. F] deadfull. +l. 37. G] and put. +l. 39. A and B] with you for laughter. + +p. 235, +l. 10. A and B] and so you satisfied. +l. 17. B] doeth. +l. 28. A] Hipochrists. E and F] Hipocrasse. G] Hippocrass. +l. 34. A and B] his yeere. +l. 31. G] said she. + +p. 236, +l. 9. B] doeth. + D and E] with you. +l. 17. G _omits one_] that. +l. 19. G] I'le live. + +p. 237, +l. 1. A and B] with three guards. +l. 4. D] wesse. E--G] wisse. +l. 10. D--G] Abigall. +l. 14. E--G] happily. +l. 21. A--E] may call. +l. 25. A--G] as on others. + A--G _omit_] that. +l. 27. A--G] A my credit. +l. 30. A and B] beginnings. +l. 31. G] maid. +l. 32. E and G] bed. +l. 33. D--G] doe you not. +l. 35. D--G] Abigall. + +p. 238, +l. 2. A and B] rid hard. +l. 25. A] other woemen the housholds of. B--G] of the households. + G] of as good. +l. 28. F and G] tho not so coy. + D--G] Abigall. +l. 36. A--G] God. + +p. 239, +l. 7. G] Call'd. +l. 17. A] your names. +l. 32. A] the weomen. +l. 33. A and B] an needlesse. + E--G _omit_] a. + F] her comes. + G _and sometimes_ F] here comes. + +p. 240, +l. 4. E--G _omit_] of. + F and G] I do inculcate Divine Homilies. +l. 13. G] man neglect. +l. 16. A and B] I pray ye. + A--G] and whilst. +l. 19. B] your Lay. +l. 20. C--F] ingenuous. +l. 23. A] I shall beate. +l. 25. A--E] forget one, who. F and G] forget then who. +l. 34. A and B] how Hoppes goe. + +p. 241, +l. 6. A--G] to keep. +l. 14. F and G] like a Gentlemen. +l. 15. F _omits_] me. +l. 23. D--G] Yet, that. +l. 25. A--E _omit_] of. + F and G] Ile here no more, this is. +l. 30. A--E and G] comes. +l. 39. A] Gent. + +p. 242, +l. 6. A--G _omit_] etc. +l. 7. B--G] help all. +l. 22. A and B] warre, that cries. +l. 27. G] has knockt. +l. 32. D--G _omit_] even. + A--G] a conscience. +l. 34. A--E _omit_] he. + +p. 243, +l. 6. E--G] pound. +l. 11. A and B] We will have nobody talke wisely neither. + F] Will you not. +l. 17. A--C] ath Coram. +l. 25. F and G _omit_] that. +l. 27. F and G] sir, to expound it. +l. 28. 2nd Folio _misprints_] iuterpretation. +l. 37. A and B _omit_] Sir. +l. 40. F _omits_] keep. + +p. 244, +l. 1. F and G _add after_ part] Savil. +l. 6. D--G _add_] Finis Actus Primus. + F and G _add_] _Omnes._ O brave Loveless! (F=Lovelace) + Exeunt omnes. +l. 12. F and G _omit_] Lady. +l. 13. F and G] that complaint. +l. 28. F and G] it loveth. +l. 34. A] premised. + +p. 245, +l. 11. D--G] reprov'd him. +l. 22. F and G] hath made. +l. 23. A and B _misprint_] Maria. +l. 25. F and G] with a. +l. 27. A and B] He's fast. +l. 39. F and G _omit_] Sir. + +p. 246, +l. 4. A, B and G] Gentlewoman. +l. 23. G _omits_] indeed. +l. 26. F and G] smile hath. +l. 28. A--E and G] cropping off. +l. 34. E and G] meditations. +l. 36. F and G] and experience the. + E--G] collection. +l. 39. F and G] thus to. + +p. 248, +ll. 3 and 4. G] and fornication. +l. 24. A and G] set. + +p. 249, +l. 10. A--C, E--G] appeares. +l. 11. A] drown. +l. 12. G] Sir Aeneas. +l. 34. A and B] Gentlewoman. + +p. 250, +l. 15. A--G] a Gods name. + +p. 251, +l. 11. A and B _add_] Drinke to my friend Captaine. +l. 14. A, B, F and G _add at end_] Sir. +l. 15. A--G] cursie. F] a tittle. +l. 16. G] would strive, Sir. F] I will strive, Sir. +l. 22. Second Folio _misprints_] Youn. +l. 24. A] to feede more fishes. +l. 30. F and G] pray you let. +l. 34. A] a ful rouse. +ll. 36 and 37. D and F] I bear. +l. 39. A--G] a your knees. + +p. 252, +l. 12. A] finde. +l. 32. F and G _for_ Capt. (character) _read_ + Sav. _and add_ 'Let's in and drink and give' etc. + +p. 253, +l. 5. F and G] be you your. +l. 27. D--F] love chamber. + G] dares. +l. 34. A--C] will stoop. +l. 35. A] feede ill. +l. 36. A--G] which for I was his wife and gave way to. +l. 39. F] in patience of. + +p. 254, +l. 1. D and E] gossip too. +l. 3. E and F] from whence. +l. 9. F _misprints_] crown'd at. +l. 21. E--G] have the money. +l. 23. F and G] provided my wise. +l. 26. F] Here's here. +ll. 30 and 31. F and G] for thine. +l. 32. F _omits_] well. + +p. 255, +l. 1. A] the faith. +l. 11. D--G] mony fit for. +l. 13. A--D, F and G] afore. +l. 14. G _omits_] all. +ll. 18 and 19. D--G] turne up. +l. 20. G] Ship. +l. 22. G] poor man. +l. 26. D, F and G] against the. +l. 28. A--G] thy staffe of office there, thy pen and Ink-horne. + Noble boy. +l. 29. A] sed. +ll. 30 and 31. A--G] thy seat. +l. 34. F and G] men immortal. +l. 37. A] that shall. +l. 40. A] What meane they Captaine. + +p. 256, +l. 8. F and G] pounds. +l. 9. F and G] by this hand. +l. 13. F and G] There is six Angels in earnest. +l. 17. A] all in. +l. 25. F and G _omit_] so be it. +l. 35. A and B] at charge. +l. 40. A--G _add_] Finis Actus Secundi. + +p. 257, +l. 2. A _omits_] and drops her glove. +l. 3. A--C] tels. +l. 8. A, B and D--G] Lenvoy. +l. 16. F and G] No, Sir. + +p. 258, +l. 10. D, E and G] come here to speak with. +l. 18. F and G] I say I. +l. 26. A _misprints_] ralkt. + F and G] with the. +l. 29. F and G] Troth guess. +l. 33. F] Gentlewomen. +l. 36. A and B] But one, I am. + C] or Woman. + +p. 259, +l. 1. A] shall not you. +l. 16. A--C and E--G] no such. +l. 19. A--C and E--G] tender Sir, whose gentle bloud. +l. 29. A _omits_] be. +l. 31. A and G] as he. +l. 34. A _omits_] They draw. +l. 36. F and G _omit_] Jesus. + +p. 260, +l. 4. A and B _omit_] Why. +l. 11. F] but none so. +l. 26. A]wilde. + B, C and E--G] vild. +l. 31. F and G] sword. +l. 33. B and G] a hazard. + +p. 261, +l. 1. A and B] which is prone inough. + C--G] are prone. +l. 5. A] anger lost. +l. 10. F and G] least share in. +l. 25. D, F and G] are you. +l. 33. A and B] self from such temptations. + G] self from temptations. +l. 34. A--D, F and G] Pray leape. + G] the matter. + C] whether would. +l. 38. A--C, E and G] should. + +p. 262, +l. 6. F and G _omit_] a. +l. 11. A--C] see. +l. 12. E] Of any. +l. 20. F and G] his ruin. +l. 27. C _omits_] him. + E--G] with these. +l. 37. E--G] leave them to others. +l. 40. C] works a mine. + +p. 263, +l. 13. A] certaine. +l. 18. E--G] spoken. +l. 19. F] ask you. +l. 20. E--G] forward. +l. 32. G] hard-hearted. +l. 35. F and G] me to do. + +p. 264, +l. 4. E--G] could redeem. +l. 10. D, F and G] This. +l. 24. A] you have so. +l. 27. E and G] By this light. + +p. 265, +l. 10. F] by your troth. +l. 11. A] could. +l. 15. C] cold meats. +l. 23. F and G] we would. +l. 27. F and G] that thou art here. +l. 29. F and G] use thee. +l. 33. A and B] offending. +l. 34. F and G] Thou art nothing ... for love's sake. + +p. 266, +l. 3. G _omits_] I hope. +l. 13. F and G] thy face. +l. 14. A--G _omit_] for. +ll. 21 and 22. F and G] companion. +l. 25. A] amable. +l. 38. G _adds at end_] I hope. + +p. 267, +l. 4. A, B and D--F] Don Diego, Ile. +l. 11. A, C and E] saies. +l. 15. E--G] you may. +l. 20. E] wine here. F and G _add before_ All] Mr. Morecraft. +l. 21. A--G] Sir. _Savill_? +l. 31. G] and yet they. +l. 33. F _omits_] pray. +l. 36. A--C and E--G] God a gold. 2nd Folio _misprints_] expouud. + +p. 268, +l. 3. A] not you. +l. 7. A and B] is much is much. +l. 18. G] in tenements of. +l. 22. F and G] I shall not dare to. +l. 23. A] By blithe. +l. 33. A and B] of satten. +l. 37. A--G] necessary. + D--G] and consuming. + +p. 269, +l. 10. 2nd Folio _misprints_] nor. +l. 16. A--G] a' my knowledge. +l. 20. F and G] the. F] Morall. +l. 27. B and D--G] worst on's. +l. 31. A] your complement. +l. 34. F and G] paid back again. + +p. 270, +l. 4. F and G] we have liv'd. +ll. 4 and 5. F and G] be the hour that. +l. 14. A _misprints_] Yo. Lo. +l. 15. F and G] A thirsty. +l. 17. F _omits_] Sir. +l. 20. A] raile. +l. 24. D--G] to'th. + +p. 271, +l. 1. A] hee's your. +l. 4. A--G] fall. +l. 19. A--G] who you left me too. +l. 20. F _omits_] for. +l. 23. F and G] be leaping in. +l. 24. E--G] nights. +l. 25. F _omits_] my. +l. 27. E] thirtie. +l. 34. B] you fellow. +l. 37. A--G] Cresses sir to coole. +l. 39. A--C] fornications. + +p. 272, +l. 3. E--G] get no. +l. 4. A--G _add_] Finis Actus tertii. +l. 6. A--G] solus. +l. 8. A] thee to? to what scurvy Fortune. +l. 9. E] of Noblemen. +l. 15. B and E--G] profit. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Eccle. +l. 16. F] eats out youth. +l. 22. 2nd Folio _misprints_] abolishth, is. +l. 25. D and E] in his. +l. 33. A] neglectingly. +l. 34. A] broke. + +p. 273, +l. 9. F and G] abused like me. A--F] Dalida. +l. 11. F and G] you may dilate. +l. 27. F and G] could not expound. +l. 28. A] and then at prayers once (out of the stinking stir you put me +in). +l. 29. A] mine owne royall [F and G _also add_ royal] issue. +l. 34. D and E] for you. +l. 35 B] and thus. +l. 36. A, F and G] contrition, as a Father saith. +l. 39. A--G] Comfets. +l. 40. A, F and G] then a long chapter with a pedigree. + +p. 274, +l. 3. A] lovely. +l. 4. F and G] when due time. +l. 8. F and G] but have. +l. 14. A--E] cunny. +l. 17. A _omits_] in. F and G] the hanging. +l. 19. A, F and G] more with the great Booke of Martyrs. +l. 23. F and G _add after_ beloved] Abigail. +l. 31. E--G] chop up. + +p. 275, +l. 3. A and B] wise Sir. +l. 7. A, B, F and G] make. +l. 14. F and G] thank Heaven. +l. 19. E--G _omit_] Lord. +l. 22. A and B] some sow. l. 23. F and G] brought forth. +l. 26. F and G] will not. +l. 29. E] a cleere. E--G] would take. +l. 39. A] and yet would. + +p. 276, +l. 3. A--F] errant. +l. 5. A--F] pray be. +l. 9. A] the gods (B=God) knowes. C] God the knowes. F and G] Heaven +knows. +l. 15. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Lo. +l. 18. A _omits_] so. +l. 19. A--C _omit_] for. +l. 38. E--G] that has. + +p. 277, +l. 1. A and B] turne in to. +l. 4. A _omits_] pray. +l. 13. G] have you. +l. 14. G] light, as spirited. +l. 21. G] sheeps. +l. 22. G] with two. +l. 23. F and G _add at end_] I can. +l. 33. F and G] your use of. +l. 37. A, B, D, F and G] now then. + +p. 278, +l. 7. A--G] Rosasolis. +l. 16. G] in presuming thus. +l. 19. E--G] to any end. +l. 23. D, E and G] heap affliction. B--D, F and G] on me. +l. 28. F and G _add_] ha. +l. 33. F and G _for_ a _read_] ha'. +l. 37. E--G _omit_] Sir. + +p. 279, +l. 1. G] no so. +l. 2. A] know. +l. 6. F _omits_] that. +ll. 6--8. D and E _omit_] at you ...not laugh + _and runs on the remainder of_ Lady's _speech as part of_ Mar.'s. + F and G _omit_] Sir ...not laugh. +l. 7. A--C _omit one_] 'ha.' +l. 15. A and B] for it then. +l. 20. E--G] And you may. +l. 28. G] crack. +l. 36. A--C] fit ath. +l. 38. B] will you cure. + +p. 280, +l. 5. A and C] Let him alone, 'is crackt. +l. 6. D--G] he's a beastly. + A and B] to loose. +l. 7. A--G] is a. +ll. 9 and 10. G] foh (soh F) she stinks. +ll. 19 and 20. F and G] ye have ...hate ye. +l. 23. A and B] in intercession. D--G] make intercession. +l. 25. A] not all. +l. 26. F and G] and will. +l. 32. A and B] safer dote. +l. 33. F] disease. + +p. 281, +l. 8. A--C] I hope 'is not. +l. 16. A] There is. +l. 28. A] Carrire. + D--G] carriage. +l. 29. A--C, F and G] now I. +l. 30. A--G] a horse back. +l. 31. A--C and E--G] to looke to. + +p. 282, +l. 3. A--C] 'is fleet. +l. 10. 2nd Folio _misprints_] sweed. +l. 11. F] not your. + A--E] Reasens. + F and G] your rotten Reasons. +l. 13. F and G] civil and feed. +l. 16. A--G] pounds. +l. 18. A, F and G] defend. + +p. 283, +l. 2. F and G] Ordinaries do eat. +l. 3. F and G] to a play. +l. 6. E] Bootmaker. + F and G] to a bear-baiting. +l. 13. A, C--G] aire. +l. 15. A] as little. +l. 18. E] if they may. +ll. 22 and 23. F and G] ask me. +l. 23. A and B] a modesty. +l. 24. A--F] Wardrope. +l. 28. E--G] to dogs. +l. 36 E] cheate. + A--G] _add_] Finis Actus Quarti. + +p. 284, +l. 27. F and G] the Gentleman. +l. 31. A and B] house Sir. + +p. 285, +l. 5. B] for your. +l. 10. A--D] be lest. + E--G] be left. +l. 15. E] never-worme. +l. 25. F and G] the elder hath. +l. 31. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Gentlewomau. + +p. 286, +l. 7. G] goodly. +l. 8. A and D] beliefe. +l. 10. E--G] you cas'd. +l. 29. A--G] in thy. +l. 30. G _omits_] I. +l. 31. F] years. + +p. 287, +l. 1. F and G] vilely. +l. 3. A and D--G] shall want uryne to finde the cause by: and she. + B and C] shall want uryne finde the cause be. +l. 14. A and B] I stoppe. + +p. 288, +l. 7. E _omits_] did. + F and G] he does. +l. 25. A and B _omit_] be. +l. 34. F and G] till death. + +p. 289, +l. 1. 2nd Folio _misprints_] berroth'd. + E and G _add at beginning_] Ah. +l. 5. A and B] mind is. +l. 6. G] womens. +l. 22. F] not any. +l. 26. F and G _omit_] Godlike. +l. 27. A and B] passions. +l. 28. F and G] is her law. +l. 39. D--G] and colour. + +p. 290, +l. 7. 2nd Folio _misprints_] yon. +l. 7. F and G] you, though unknown. +l. 18. F and G] Heaven to comfort. +l. 34. A and B] Milde still as. +l. 37. B] ends. +l. 40. F and G] never find. + +p. 291, +l. 7. A and B] I will. +l. 12. G] spoken. +l. 25. A--F] judicially. +l. 27. G] off her. + A--C] sound. + G] her Love. + F] lovers. +l. 33. A, B and E--G] a bed. +l. 37. D] at a third. + F and G _add after_ Balls] admirably. + +p. 292, +l. 2. A, F and G] forgot. +ll. 4 and 5. F and G _omit_] I'll not ... you joy. +l. 9. G] there was. +l. 10. A, B, F and G] meant. + G _omits_] you. +l. 19. G] rather then. +l. 20. A, B and D--F] forsooke. +l. 34. A, E and G] I had rather. + +p. 293, +l. 4. D--G _add after_ so] a most ungodly thing. +ll. 5 and 6. D--G _omit_] Since a ... ungodly thing. +l. 30. D and F _omit_] and Young. +l. 32. A and B] all uncivill, all such beasts as these. + C] are uncivill, all such beasts. + D and E] wee are uncivill, as such beasts as these. + F and G] all uncivil. Would, etc. + +p. 294, +l. 7. G] are you. +l. 11. A--C] learning new sir. + E--G _omit_] Sir. +l. 14. A] rouge. +l. 16. A] capassions. +l. 17. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Goaler. +l. 25. F and G] indeed I do. + +p. 295, +l. 8. 2nd Folio _misprints_] A I. +l. 27. F and G] Heaven quite. +1. 31. F and G] thou help. +l. 34. F and G _omit_] the Cleve. +l. 36. F] all this. + +p. 296, +l. 30. F, _some copies_] hankt it. +l. 34. G] O Heaven. + +p. 297, +l. 1. F and G] with this. +l. 12. F and G] who I. +l. 17. B, F and G] hold out. +l. 22. A] witnes to. +ll. 26 and 27. F and G] this Welford from. + +p. 298, +l. 5. 2nd Folio _misprints_] turn. +l. 8. A, B, D, F and G] tyr'd. +l. 12. A] sore Ladies. + D--G _omit_] four. +l. 19. F and G] I think I. +l. 23. A] I see by her. +l. 38. A and E] make. + +p. 299, +l. 2. E--G] he is. +l. 10. A and B] A will. C] I will. +l. 13. F and G] make you well. +l. 15. G] unconverted. +l. 20. F and G] tell you. +l. 26. B] yon. +l. 34. F and G] Who's. + +p. 300, +l. 8. F and G] must wear. +l. 9. G _omits_] Of. +l. 19. A and B] pound. +l. 22. E and F _omit_] a. +l. 29. G] you wall graze. +l. 30. F and G] once again. +l. 33. F and G] your Worship. +l. 38. G] Why now. + +p. 301, +l. 3. F and G] As fast as. +l. 11. C] helps. +l. 17. A and B _omit_] the. +l. 24. F and G] and lead. +l. 25. A--G _add_] Finis. + +[During the passing of these sheets through the press, a copy of the +quarto named G (1677, 'The Seventh Edition') has been found in England by +the writer of this note. Its existence has been ignored by every previous +editor of Beaumont and Fletcher, and, apparently, by English +bibliographers, the folio of 1679 being presumed to be 'Ed. 7.' The +knowledge that a copy existed in America led to a fruitless search for it +in English libraries, until accident, a few months ago, brought one to +light in time to enable a collation of its text to be included in the +above notes. It will be seen that many of the readings are of considerable +interest. + +A.R.W.] + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Scornful Lady +by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12110 *** diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..627df22 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #12110 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/12110) diff --git a/old/12110.txt b/old/12110.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..3cb324a --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12110.txt @@ -0,0 +1,4832 @@ +Project Gutenberg's The Scornful Lady, by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Scornful Lady + +Author: Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +Release Date: April 22, 2004 [EBook #12110] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SCORNFUL LADY *** + + + + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + + + + +THE SCORNFUL LADY, + +A COMEDY. + + +Persons Represented in the Play. + +_Elder_ Loveless, _a Sutor to the Lady_. +_Young_ Loveless, _a Prodigal_. +Savil, _Steward to Elder_ Loveless. +Lady _and_ ) +Martha, )_Two Sisters_. +Younglove, _or_ Abigal, _a waiting Gentlewoman_. +Welford, _a Sutor to the Lady_. +_Sir_ Roger, _Curate to the Lady_. + (Captain ) + (Travailer ) _Hangers on to Young_ Loveless. + (Poet ) + (Tabaco-man ) +_Wenches_. +_Fidlers_. +Morecraft, _an Usurer_. +_A Rich Widow_. +_Attendants_. + + * * * * * + +Actus primus. Scena prima. + + * * * * * + +_Enter the two_ Lovelesses, Savil _the Steward, and a Page_. + +_Elder Love_. Brother, is your last hope past to mollifie _Morecrafts_ +heart about your Morgage? + +_Young Love_. Hopelesly past: I have presented the Usurer with a richer +draught than ever _Cleopatra_ swallowed; he hath suckt in ten thousand +pounds worth of my Land, more than he paid for at a gulp, without +Trumpets. + +_El. Lo_. I have as hard a task to perform in this house. + +_Yo. Lo._ Faith mine was to make an Usurer honest, or to lose my Land. + +_El. Lo._ And mine is to perswade a passionate woman, or to leave the +Land. Make the boat stay, I fear I shall begin my unfortunate journey this +night, though the darkness of the night and the roughness of the waters +might easily disswade an unwilling man. + +_Savil._ Sir, your Fathers old friends hold it the sounder course for your +body and estate to stay at home and marry, and propagate and govern in our +Country, than to Travel and die without issue. + +_El. Lo._ _Savil_, you shall gain the opinion of a better servant, in +seeking to execute, not alter my will, howsoever my intents succeed. + +_Yo. Lo._ Yonder's Mistres _Younglove_, Brother, the grave rubber of your +Mistresses toes. + +_Enter Mistres_ Younglove _the waiting woman._ + +_El. Lo._ Mistres _Younglove_. + +_Young._ Master _Loveless_, truly we thought your sails had been hoist: my +Mistres is perswaded you are Sea-sick ere this. + +_El. Lo._ Loves she her ill taken up resolution so dearly? Didst thou move +her from me? + +_Young_. By this light that shines, there's no removing her, if she get a +stiffe opinion by the end. I attempted her to day when they say a woman +can deny nothing. + +_El. Lo_. What critical minute was that? + +_Young_. When her smock was over her ears: but she was no more pliant than +if it hung about her heels. + +_El. Lo_. I prethee deliver my service, and say, I desire to see the dear +cause of my banishment; and then for _France_. + +_Young_. I'le do't: hark hither, is that your Brother? + +_El. Lo_. Yes, have you lost your memory? + +_Young_. As I live he's a pretty fellow. [_Exit._ + +_Yo. Lo_. O this is a sweet _Brache_. + +_El. Lo_. Why she knows not you. + +_Yo. Lo_. No, but she offered me once to know her: to this day she loves +youth of Eighteen; she heard a tale how _Cupid_ struck her in love with a +great Lord in the Tilt-yard, but he never saw her; yet she in kindness +would needs wear a Willow-garland at his Wedding. She lov'd all the +Players in the last Queens time once over: she was struck when they acted +Lovers, and forsook some when they plaid Murthers. She has nine +_Spur-royals_, and the servants say she hoards old gold; and she her self +pronounces angerly, that the Farmers eldest son, or her Mistres Husbands +Clerk shall be, that Marries her, shall make her a joynture of fourscore +pounds a year; she tells tales of the serving-men. + +_El. Lo._ Enough, I know her Brother. I shall intreat you only to salute +my Mistres, and take leave, we'l part at the Stairs. + +_Enter Lady and waiting women._ + +_Lady._ Now Sir, this first part of your will is performed: what's the +rest? + +_El. Lo._ First, let me beg your notice for this Gentleman my Brother. + +_Lady._ I shall take it as a favour done to me, though the Gentleman hath +received but an untimely grace from you, yet my charitable disposition +would have been ready to have done him freer courtesies as a stranger, +than upon those cold commendations. + +_Yo. Lo._ Lady, my salutations crave acquaintance and leave at once. + +_Lady._ Sir I hope you are the master of your own occasions. + + [_Exit Yo. Lo. and Savil._ + +_El. Lo._ Would I were so. Mistris, for me to praise over again that +worth, which all the world, and you your self can see. + +_Lady._ It's a cold room this, Servant. + +_El. Lo._ Mistris. + +_La._ What think you if I have a Chimney for't, out here? + +_El. Lo._ Mistris, another in my place, that were not tyed to believe all +your actions just, would apprehend himself wrong'd: But I whose vertues +are constancy and obedience. + +_La._ _Younglove_, make a good fire above to warm me after my servants +_Exordiums_. + +_El. Lo._ I have heard and seen your affability to be such, that the +servants you give wages to may speak. + +_La._ 'Tis true, 'tis true; but they speak to th' purpose. + +_El. Lo._ Mistris, your will leads my speeches from the purpose. But as a +man-- + +_La._ A _Simile_ servant? This room was built for honest meaners, that +deliver themselves hastily and plainly, and are gone. Is this a time or +place for _Exordiums_, and _Similes_ and _Metaphors_? If you have ought to +say, break into't: my answers shall very reasonably meet you. + +_El. Lo._ Mistris I came to see you. + +_La._ That's happily dispatcht, the next. + +_El. Lo._ To take leave of you. + +_La._ To be gone? + +_El. Lo._ Yes. + +_La._ You need not have despair'd of that, nor have us'd so many +circumstances to win me to give you leave to perform my command; is there +a third? + +_El. Lo._ Yes, I had a third had you been apt to hear it. + +_La._ I? Never apter. Fast (good servant) fast. + +_El. Lo._ 'Twas to intreat you to hear reason. + +_La._ Most willingly, have you brought one can speak it? + +_El. Lo._ Lastly, it is to kindle in that barren heart love and +forgiveness. + +_La._ You would stay at home? + +_El. Lo._ Yes Lady. + +_La._ Why you may, and doubtlesly will, when you have debated that your +commander is but your Mistris, a woman, a weak one, wildly overborn with +passions: but the thing by her commanded, is to see _Dovers_ dreadful +cliffe, passing in a poor Water-house; the dangers of the merciless +Channel 'twixt that and _Callis_, five long hours sail, with three poor +weeks victuals. + +_El. Lo._ You wrong me. + +_La._ Then to land dumb, unable to enquire for an English hoast, to remove +from City to City, by most chargeable Post-horse, like one that rode in +quest of his Mother tongue. + +_El. Lo._ You wrong me much. + +_La._ And all these (almost invincible labours) performed for your +Mistris, to be in danger to forsake her, and to put on new allegeance to +some _French_ Lady, who is content to change language with your laughter, +and after your whole year spent in Tennis and broken speech, to stand to +the hazard of being laught at, at your return, and have tales made on you +by the Chamber-maids. + +_El. Lo._ You wrong me much. + +_La._ Louder yet. + +_El. Lo._ You know your least word is of force to make me seek out +dangers, move me not with toyes: but in this banishment, I must take leave +to say, you are unjust: was one kiss forc't from you in publick by me so +unpardonable? Why all the hours of day and night have seen us kiss. + +_La._ 'Tis true, and so you told the company that heard me chide. + +_Elder Lov._ Your own eyes were not dearer to you than I. + +_Lady._ And so you told 'em. + +_Elder Lo._ I did, yet no sign of disgrace need to have stain'd your +cheek: you your self knew your pure and simple heart to be most unspotted, +and free from the least baseness. + +_Lady._ I did: But if a Maids heart doth but once think that she is +suspected, her own face will write her guilty. + +_Elder Lo._ But where lay this disgrace? The world that knew us, knew our +resolutions well: And could it be hop'd that I should give away my +freedom; and venture a perpetual bondage with one I never kist? or could I +in strict wisdom take too much love upon me, from her that chose me for +her Husband? + +_Lady._ Believe me; if my Wedding-smock were on, +Were the Gloves bought and given, the Licence come, +Were the Rosemary-branches dipt, and all +The Hipochrist and Cakes eat and drunk off, +Were these two armes incompast with the hands +Of Bachelors to lead me to the Church, +Were my feet in the door, were I _John_, said, +If _John_ should boast a favour done by me, +I would not wed that year: And you I hope, +When you have spent this year commodiously, +In atchieving Languages, will at your return +Acknowledge me more coy of parting with mine eyes, +Than such a friend: More talk I hold not now +If you dare go. + +_Elder Lo._ I dare, you know: First let me kiss. + +_Lady._ Farewel sweet Servant, your task perform'd, +On a new ground as a beginning Sutor, +I shall be apt to hear you. + +_Elder Lo._ Farewel cruel Mistres. [_Exit_ Lady. + +_Enter Young Loveless, and Savil._ + +_Young Lo._ Brother you'l hazard the losing your tide to _Gravesend_: you +have a long half mile by Land to _Greenewich_? + +_Elder Lo._ I go: but Brother, what yet unheard of course to live, doth +your imagination flatter you with? Your ordinary means are devour'd. + +_Young Lo._ Course? why Horse-coursing I think. Consume no time in this: I +have no Estate to be mended by meditation: he that busies himself about my +fortunes may properly be said to busie himself about nothing. + +_Elder Lo._ Yet some course you must take, which for my satisfaction +resolve and open; if you will shape none, I must inform you that that man +but perswades himself he means to live, that imagines not the means. + +_Young Lo._ Why live upon others, as others have lived upon me. + +_Elder Lo._ I apprehend not that: you have fed others, and consequently +dispos'd of 'em: and the same measure must you expect from your +maintainers, which will be too heavy an alteration for you to bear. + +_Young Lo._ Why I'le purse; if that raise me not, I'le bet at +Bowling-alleyes, or man Whores; I would fain live by others: but I'le live +whilst I am unhang'd, and after the thought's taken. + +_Elder Love._ I see you are ty'd to no particular imploiment then? + +_Young Lo._ Faith I may choose my course: they say nature brings forth +none but she provides for them: I'le try her liberality. + +_Elder Lo._ Well, to keep your feet out of base and dangerous paths, I +have resolved you shall live as Master of my House. It shall be your care +_Savil_ to see him fed and cloathed, not according to his present Estate, +but to his birth and former fortunes. + +_Young Lo._ If it be refer'd to him, if I be not found in Carnation +Jearsie-stockins, blew devils breeches, with the gards down, and my pocket +i'th' sleeves, I'le n'er look you i'th' face again. + +_Sa._ A comelier wear I wuss it is than those dangling slops. + +_Elder Lo._ To keep you readie to do him all service peaceably, and him to +command you reasonably, I leave these further directions in writing, which +at your best leasure together open and read. + +_Enter_ Younglove _to them with a Jewell._ + +_Abig._ Sir, my Mistress commends her love to you in this token, and these +words; it is a Jewell (she sayes) which as a favour from her she would +request you to wear till your years travel be performed: which once +expired, she will hastily expect your happy return. + +_Elder Lo._ Return my service with such thanks, as she may imagine the +heart of a suddenly over-joyed man would willingly utter, and you I hope I +shall with slender arguments perswade to wear this Diamond, that when my +Mistris shall through my long absence, and the approach of new Suitors, +offer to forget me; you may cast your eye down to your finger, and +remember and speak of me: She will hear thee better than those allied by +birth to her; as we see many men much swayed by the Grooms of their +Chambers, not that they have a greater part of their love or opinion on +them, than on others, but for that they know their secrets. + +_Abi._ O' my credit I swear, I think 'twas made for me: +Fear no other Suitors. + +_Elder Love._ I shall not need to teach you how to discredit their +beginning, you know how to take exception at their shirts at washing, or +to make the maids swear they found plasters in their beds. + +_Abi._ I know, I know, and do not you fear the Suitors. + +_Elder Lo._ Farewell, be mindfull, and be happie; the night calls me. + + [_Exeunt omnes praeter Younglove._ + +_Abi._ The Gods of the Winds befriend you Sir; a constant and a liberal +Lover thou art, more such God send us. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel._ Let'em not stand still, we have rid. + +_Abi._ A suitor I know by his riding hard, I'le not be seen. + +_Wel._ A prettie Hall this, no Servant in't? I would look freshly. + +_Abi._ You have delivered your errand to me then: there's no danger in a +hansome young fellow: I'le shew my self. + +_Wel._ Lady, may it please you to bestow upon a stranger the ordinary +grace of salutation: Are you the Lady of this house? + +_Abi._ Sir, I am worthily proud to be a Servant of hers. + +_Wel._ Lady, I should be as proud to be a Servant of yours, did not my so +late acquaintance make me despair. + +_Abi._ Sir, it is not so hard to atchieve, but nature may bring it about. + +_Wel._ For these comfortable words, I remain your glad Debtor. Is your +Lady at home? + +_Abi._ She is no stragler Sir. + +_Wel._ May her occasions admit me to speak with her? + +_Abi._ If you come in the way of a Suitor, No. + +_Wel._ I know your affable vertue will be moved to perswade her, that a +Gentleman benighted and strayed, offers to be bound to her for a nights +lodging. + +_Abi._ I will commend this message to her; but if you aim at her body, you +will be deluded: other women of the household of good carriage and +government; upon any of which if you can cast your affection, they will +perhaps be found as faithfull and not so coy. [_Exit_ Younglove. + +_Wel._ What a skin full of lust is this? I thought I had come a wooing, +and I am the courted partie. This is right Court fashion: Men, Women, and +all woo, catch that catch may. If this soft hearted woman have infused any +of her tenderness into her Lady, there is hope she will be plyant. But +who's here? + +_Enter_ Sir Roger _the Curate._ + +_Roger._ Gad save you Sir. My Lady lets you know she desires to be +acquainted with your name, before she confer with you? + +_Wel._ Sir, my name calls me _Welford_. + +_Roger._ Sir, you are a Gentleman of a good name. I'le try his wit. + +_Wel._ I will uphold it as good as any of my Ancestors had this two +hundred years Sir. + +_Roger._ I knew a worshipfull and a Religious Gentleman of your name in +the Bishoprick of _Durham_. Call you him Cousen? + +_Wel._ I am only allyed to his vertues Sir. + +_Roger._ It is modestly said: I should carry the badge of your +Christianity with me too. + +_Wel._ What's that, a Cross? there's a tester. + +_Roger._ I mean the name which your God-fathers and God-mothers gave you +at the Font. + +_Wel._ 'Tis _Harry_: but you cannot proceed orderly now in your Catechism: +for you have told me who gave me that name. Shall I beg your name? + +_Roger._ _Roger._ + +_Wel._ What room fill you in this house? + +_Roger._ More rooms than one. + +_Wel._ The more the merrier: but may my boldness know, why your Lady hath +sent you to decypher my name? + +_Roger._ Her own words were these: To know whether you were a formerly +denyed Suitor, disguised in this message: for I can assure you she +delights not in _Thalame_: _Hymen_ and she are at variance, I shall return +with much hast. [_Exit_ Roger. + +_Wel._ And much speed Sir, I hope: certainly I am arrived amongst a Nation +of new found fools, on a Land where no Navigator has yet planted wit; if I +had foreseen it, I would have laded my breeches with bells, knives, +copper, and glasses, to trade with women for their virginities: yet I +fear, I should have betrayed my self to a needless charge then: here's the +walking night-cap again. + +_Enter_ Roger. + +_Roger._ Sir, my Ladies pleasure is to see you: who hath commanded me to +acknowledge her sorrow, that you must take the pains to come up for so bad +entertainment. + +_Wel._ I shall obey your Lady that sent it, and acknowledge you that +brought it to be your Arts Master. + +_Rog._ I am but a Batchelor of Art, Sir; and I have the mending of all +under this roof, from my Lady on her down-bed, to the maid in the +Pease-straw. + +_Wel._ A Cobler, Sir? + +_Roger._ No Sir, I inculcate Divine Service within these Walls. + +_Wel._ But the Inhabitants of this house do often imploy you on errands +without any scruple of Conscience. + +_Rog._ Yes, I do take the air many mornings on foot, three or four miles +for eggs: but why move you that? + +_Wel._ To know whether it might become your function to bid my man to +neglect his horse a little to attend on me. + +_Roger._ Most properly Sir. + +_Wel._ I pray you doe so then: the whilst I will attend your Lady. You +direct all this house in the true way? + +_Roger._ I doe Sir. + +_Wel._ And this door I hope conducts to your Lady? + +_Rog._ Your understanding is ingenious. [_Ex. severally._ + +_Enter young_ Loveless _and_ Savil, _with a writing._ + +_Sa._ By your favour Sir, you shall pardon me? + +_Yo. Lo._ I shall bear your favour Sir, cross me no more; I say they shall +come in. + +_Savil._ Sir, you forget who I am? + +_Yo. Lo._ Sir, I do not; thou art my Brothers Steward, his cast off +mill-money, his Kitchen Arithmetick. + +_Sa._ Sir, I hope you will not make so little of me? + +_Yo. Lo._ I make thee not so little as thou art: for indeed there goes no +more to the making of a Steward, but a fair _Imprimis_, and then a +reasonable _Item_ infus'd into him, and the thing is done. + +_Sa._ Nay then you stir my duty, and I must tell you? + +_Young Lo._ What wouldst thou tell me, how Hopps grow, or hold some rotten +discourse of Sheep, or when our Lady-day falls? Prethee farewel, and +entertain my friends, be drunk and burn thy Table-books: and my dear spark +of velvet, thou and I. + +_Sa._ Good Sir remember? + +_Young Lo._ I do remember thee a foolish fellow, one that did put his +trust in Almanacks, and Horse-fairs, and rose by Hony and Pot-butter. +Shall they come in yet? + +_Sa_. Nay then I must unfold your Brothers pleasure, these be the lessons +Sir, he left behind him. + +_Young Lo_. Prethee expound the first. + +_Sa_. I leave to maintain my house three hundred pounds a year; and my +Brother to dispose of it. + +_Young Lo_. Mark that my wicked Steward, and I dispose of it? + +_Sav_. Whilest he bears himself like a Gentleman, and my credit falls not +in him. Mark that my good young Sir, mark that. + +_Young Lo_. Nay, if it be no more I shall fulfil it, whilst my Legs will +carry me I'le bear my self Gentleman-like, but when I am drunk, let them +bear me that can. Forward dear Steward. + +_Sav_. Next it is my will, that he be furnished (as my Brother) with +Attendance, Apparel, and the obedience of my people. + +_Young Lo_. Steward this is as plain as your old Minikin-breeches. Your +wisdom will relent now, will it not? Be mollified or--you understand me +Sir, proceed? + +_Sav_. Next, that my Steward keep his place, and power, and bound my +Brother's wildness with his care. + +_Young Lo_. I'le hear no more of this _Apocrypha_, bind it by it self +Steward. + +_Sav_. This is your Brothers will, and as I take it, he makes no mention +of such company as you would draw unto you. Captains of Gallyfoists, such +as in a clear day have seen _Callis_, fellows that have no more of God, +than their Oaths come to: they wear swords to reach fire at a Play, and +get there the oyl'd end of a Pipe, for their Guerdon: then the remnant of +your Regiment, are wealthy Tobacco-Marchants, that set up with one Ounce, +and break for three: together with a Forlorn hope of Poets, and all these +look like Carthusians, things without linnen: Are these fit company for my +Masters Brother? + +_Young Lo_. I will either convert thee (O thou Pagan Steward) or presently +confound thee and thy reckonings, who's there? Call in the Gentlemen. + +_Sav_. Good Sir. + +_Young Lo_. Nay, you shall know both who I am, and where I am. + +_Sav_. Are you my Masters Brother? + +_Young Lo_. Are you the sage Master Steward, with a face like an old +_Ephemerides_? + +_Enter his Comrades_, Captain, Traveller, &c. + +_Sav_. Then God help us all I say. + +_Young Lo_. I, and 'tis well said my old peer of _France_: welcome +Gentlemen, welcome Gentlemen; mine own dear Lads y'are richly welcome. +Know this old _Harry_ Groat. + +_Cap_. Sir I will take your love. + +_Sav_. Sir, you will take my Purse. + +_Cap_. And study to continue it. + +_Sav_. I do believe you. + +_Trav_. Your honorable friend and Masters Brother, hath given you to us +for a worthy fellow, and so we hugg you Sir. + +_Sav_. Has given himself into the hands of Varlets, not to be carv'd out. +Sir, are these the pieces? + +_Young Lo_. They are the Morals of the Age, the vertues, men made of gold. + +_Sav_. Of your gold you mean Sir. + +_Young Lo_. This is a man of War, and cryes go on, and wears his colours. + +_Sav_. In's nose. + +_Young Lo_. In the fragrant field. This is a Traveller Sir, knows men and +manners, and has plow'd up the Sea so far till both the Poles have knockt, +has seen the Sun take Coach, and can distinguish the colour of his Horses, +and their kinds, and had a _Flanders_-Mare leapt there. + +_Sav_. 'Tis much. + +_Tra_. I have seen more Sir. + +_Sav_. 'Tis even enough o' Conscience; sit down, and rest you, you are at +the end of the world already. Would you had as good a Living Sir, as this +fellow could lie you out of, he has a notable gift in't. + +_Young Lo_. This ministers the smoak, and this the Muses. + +_Sav_. And you the Cloaths, and Meat, and Money, you have a goodly +generation of 'em, pray let them multiply, your Brother's house is big +enough, and to say truth, h'as too much Land, hang it durt. + +_Young Lo_. Why now thou art a loving stinkard. Fire off thy Annotations +and thy Rent-books, thou hast a weak brain _Savil_, and with the next long +Bill thou wilt run mad. Gentlemen, you are once more welcome to three +hundred pounds a year; we will be freely merry, shall we not? + +_Capt_. Merry as mirth and wine, my lovely _Loveless_. + +_Poet_. A serious look shall be a Jury to excommunicate any man from our +company. + +_Tra_. We will not talk wisely neither? + +_Young Lo_. What think you Gentlemen by all this Revenue in Drink? + +_Capt_. I am all for Drink. + +_Tra_. I am dry till it be so. + +_Poet_. He that will not cry Amen to this, let him live sober, seem wise, +and dye o'th' _Coram_. + +_Young Lo_. It shall be so, we'l have it all in Drink, let Meat and +Lodging go, they are transitory, and shew men meerly mortal: then we'l +have Wenches, every one his Wench, and every week a fresh one: we'l keep +no powdered flesh: all these we have by warrant, under the title of things +necessary. Here upon this place I ground it, The obedience of my people, +and all necessaries: your opinions Gentlemen? + +_Capt_. 'Tis plain and evident that he meant Wenches. + +_Sav_. Good Sir let me expound it? + +_Capt_. Here be as sound men, as your self Sir. + +_Poet_. This do I hold to be the interpretation of it: In this word +Necessary, is concluded all that be helps to Man; Woman was made the +first, and therefore here the chiefest. + +_Young Lo_. Believe me 'tis a learned one; and by these words, The +obedience of my people, you Steward being one, are bound to fetch us +Wenches. + +_Capt_. He is, he is. + +_Young Lo_. Steward, attend us for instructions. + +_Sav_. But will you keep no house Sir? + +_Young Lo_. Nothing but drink Sir, three hundred pounds in drink. + +_Sav_. O miserable house, and miserable I that live to see it! Good Sir +keep some meat. + +_Young Lo_. Get us good Whores, and for your part, I'le board you in an +Alehouse, you shall have Cheese and Onions. + +_Sav_. What shall become of me, no Chimney smoaking? Well Prodigal, your +Brother will come home. + +[_Exit_. + +_Young Lo_. Come Lads, I'le warrant you for Wenches, three hundred pounds +in drink. + +[_Exeunt omnes_. + + + + +_Actus Secundus_. _Scena Prima_. + + +_Enter Lady, _her Sister_ Martha, Welford, Younglove, _and others_. + +_Lady_. Sir, now you see your bad lodging, I must bid you good night. + +_Wel_. Lady if there be any want, 'tis in want of you. + +_Lady_. A little sleep will ease that complement. Once more good night. + +_Wel_. Once more dear Lady, and then all sweet nights. + +_Lady_. Dear Sir be short and sweet then. + +_Wel_. Shall the morrow prove better to me, shall I hope my sute happier +by this nights rest? + +_Lady_. Is your sute so sickly that rest will help it? Pray ye let it rest +then till I call for it. Sir as a stranger you have had all my welcome: +but had I known your errand ere you came, your passage had been straiter. +Sir, good night. + +_Welford_. So fair, and cruel, dear unkind good night. [_Exit_ Lady. +Nay Sir, you shall stay with me, I'le press your zeal so far. + +_Roger_. O Lord Sir. + +_Wel_. Do you love _Tobacco_? + +_Rog_. Surely I love it, but it loves not me; yet with your reverence I'le +be bold. + +_Wel_. Pray light it Sir. How do you like it? + +_Rog_. I promise you it is notable stinging geer indeed. It is wet Sir, +Lord how it brings down Rheum! + +_Wel_. Handle it again Sir, you have a warm text of it. + +_Rog_. Thanks ever promised for it. I promise you it is very powerful, and +by a Trope, spiritual; for certainly it moves in sundry places. + +_Wel_. I, it does so Sir, and me especially to ask Sir, why you wear a +Night-cap. + +_Rog_. Assuredly I will speak the truth unto you: you shall understand +Sir, that my head is broken, and by whom; even by that visible beast the +Butler. + +_Wel_. The Butler? certainly he had all his drink about him when he did +it. Strike one of your grave Cassock? The offence Sir? + +_Rog_. Reproving him at Tra-trip Sir, for swearing; you have the total +surely. + +_Wel_. You told him when his rage was set a tilt, and so he crackt your +Canons. I hope he has not hurt your gentle reading: But shall we see these +Gentlewomen to night. + +_Rog_. Have patience Sir until our fellow _Nicholas_ be deceast, that is, +asleep: for so the word is taken: to sleep to dye, to dye to sleep, a very +figure Sir. + +_Wel_. Cannot you cast another for the Gentlewomen? + +_Rog_. Not till the man be in his bed, his grave: his grave, his bed: the +very same again Sir. Our Comick Poet gives the reason sweetly; _Plenus +rimarum est_, he is full of loope-holes, and will discover to our +Patroness. + +_Wel_. Your comment Sir has made me understand you. + +_Enter_ Martha _the_ Ladies _Sister_, _and_ Younglove, _to them with a +Posset_. + +_Rog_. Sir be addrest, the graces do salute you with the full bowl of +plenty. Is our old enemy entomb'd? + +_Abig_. He's safe. + +_Rog_. And does he snore out supinely with the Poet? + +_Mar_. No, he out-snores the Poet. + +_Wel_. Gentlewoman, this courtesie shall bind a stranger to you, ever your +servant. + +_Mar_. Sir, my Sisters strictness makes not us forget you are a stranger +and a Gentleman. + +_Abig_. In sooth Sir, were I chang'd into my Lady, a Gentleman so well +indued with parts, should not be lost. + +_Wel_. I thank you Gentlewoman, and rest bound to you. See how this foul +familiar chewes the Cud: From thee, and three and fifty good Love deliver +me. + +_Mar_. Will you sit down Sir, and take a spoon? + +_Wel_. I take it kindly, Lady. + +_Mar_. It is our best banquet Sir. + +_Rog_. Shall we give thanks? + +_Wel_. I have to the Gentlewomen already Sir. + +_Mar_. Good Sir _Roger_, keep that breath to cool your part o'th' Posset, +you may chance have a scalding zeal else; and you will needs be doing, +pray tell your twenty to your self. Would you could like this Sir? + +_Wel_. I would your Sister would like me as well Lady. + +_Mar_. Sure Sir, she would not eat you: but banish that imagination; she's +only wedded to her self, lyes with her self, and loves her self; and for +another Husband than herself, he may knock at the gate, but ne're come in: +be wise Sir, she's a Woman, and a trouble, and has her many faults, the +least of which is, she cannot love you. + +_Abig_. God pardon her, she'l do worse, would I were worthy his least +grief, Mistris _Martha_. + +_Wel_. Now I must over-hear her. + +_Mar_. Faith would thou hadst them all with all my heart; I do not think +they would make thee a day older. + +_Abig_. Sir, will you put in deeper, 'tis the sweeter. + +_Mar_. Well said old sayings. + +_Wel_. She looks like one indeed. Gentlewoman you keep your word, your +sweet self has made the bottom sweeter. + +_Abig_. Sir, I begin a frolick, dare you change Sir? + +_Wel_. My self for you, so please you. That smile has turn'd my stomach: +this is right the old Embleme of the Moyle cropping of Thistles: Lord what +a hunting head she carries, sure she has been ridden with a Martingale. +Now love deliver me. + +_Rog_. Do I dream, or do I wake? surely I know not: am I rub'd off? Is +this the way of all my morning Prayers? Oh _Roger_, thou art but grass, +and woman as a flower. Did I for this consume my quarters in Meditation, +Vowes, and wooed her in _Heroical Epistles_? Did I expound the Owl, and +undertook with labour and expence the recollection of those thousand +Pieces, consum'd in Cellars, and Tabacco-shops of that our honour'd +_Englishman Ni. Br._? Have I done this, and am I done thus too? I will end +with the wise man, and say; He that holds a Woman, has an Eel by the tail. + +_Mar._ Sir 'tis so late, and our entertainment (meaning our Posset) by +this is grown so cold, that 'twere an unmannerly part longer to hold you +from your rest: let what the house has be at your command Sir. + +_Wel._ Sweet rest be with you Lady; and to you what you desire too. + +_Abig._ It should be some such good thing like your self then. [_Exeunt._ + +_Wel._ Heaven keep me from that curse, and all my issue. Good night +Antiquity. + +_Rog._ _Solamen Miseris socios habuisse Doloris_: but I alone. + +_Wel._ Learned Sir, will you bid my man come to me? and requesting a +greater measure of your learning, good night, good Master _Roger_. + +_Rog._ Good Sir, peace be with you. [_Exit_ Roger. + +_Wel._ Adue dear _Domine_. Half a dozen such in a Kingdom would make a man +forswear confession: for who that had but half his wits about him, would +commit the Counsel of a serious sin to such a cruel Night-cap? Why how now +shall we have an Antick? [_Enter Servant._ +Whose head do you carry upon your shoulders, that you jole it so against +the Post? Is't for your ease? Or have you seen the Celler? Where are my +slippers Sir? + +_Ser._ Here Sir. + +_Wel._ Where Sir? have you got the pot Verdugo? have you seen the Horses +Sir? + +_Ser._ Yes Sir. + +_Wel._ Have they any meat? + +_Ser._ Faith Sir, they have a kind of wholesome Rushes, Hay I cannot call +it. + +_Wel._ And no Provender? + +_Ser._ Sir, so I take it. + +_Wel._ You are merry Sir, and why so? + +_Ser._ Faith Sir, here are no Oats to be got, unless you'l have 'em in +Porredge: the people are so mainly given to spoon-meat: yonder's a cast of +Coach-mares of the Gentlewomans, the strangest Cattel. + +_Wel._ Why? + +_Ser._ Why, they are transparent Sir, you may see through them: and such a +house! + +_Wel._ Come Sir, the truth of your discovery. + +_Ser._ Sir, they are in tribes like Jewes: the Kitchin and the Dayrie make +one tribe, and have their faction and their fornication within themselves; +the Buttery and the Landry are another, and there's no love lost; the +chambers are intire, and what's done there, is somewhat higher than my +knowledge: but this I am sure, between these copulations, a stranger is +kept vertuous, that is, fasting. But of all this the drink Sir. + +_Wel. _What of that Sir? + +_Ser. _Faith Sir, I will handle it as the time and your patience will give +me leave. This drink, or this cooling Julip, of which three spoonfuls +kills the Calenture, a pint breeds the cold Palsie. + +_Wel. _Sir, you bely the house. + +_Ser. _I would I did Sir. But as I am a true man, if 'twere but one degree +colder, nothing but an Asses hoof would hold it. + +_Wel. _I am glad on't Sir, for if it had proved stronger, you had been +tongue ti'd of these commendations. Light me the candle Sir, I'le hear no +more. [_Exeunt._ + +_Enter young_ Loveless _and his _Comrades, _with wenches, and two +Fidlers._ + +_Yo. Lo. _Come my brave man of war, trace out thy darling, +And you my learned Council, sit and turn boyes, +Kiss till the Cow come home, kiss close, kiss close knaves. +My Modern Poet, thou shalt kiss in couplets. + +_Enter with_ Wine. + +Strike up you merry varlets, and leave your peeping, +This is no pay for Fidlers. + +_Capt._ O my dear boy, thy _Hercules,_ thy Captain +Makes thee his _Hylas,_ his delight, his solace. +Love thy brave man of war, and let thy bounty +Clap him in _Shamois_: Let there be deducted out of our main potation +Five Marks in hatchments to adorn this thigh, +Crampt with this rest of peace, and I will fight +Thy battels. + +_Yo. Lo._ Thou shalt hav't boy, and fly in Feather, +Lead on a March you Michers. + +_Enter_ Savill. + +_Savill_. O my head, O my heart, what a noyse and change is here! would I +had been cold i'th' mouth before this day, and ne're have liv'd to see +this dissolution. He that lives within a mile of this place, had as good +sleep in the perpetual noyse of an Iron Mill. There's a dead Sea of drink +i'th' Seller, in which goodly vessels lye wrackt, and in the middle of +this deluge appear the tops of flagons and black jacks, like Churches +drown'd i'th' marshes. + +_Yo. Lo._ What, art thou come? My sweet Sir _Amias_ welcome to _Troy_. +Come thou shalt kiss my _Helen_, and court her in a dance. + +_Sav_. Good Sir consider? + +_Yo. Lo_. Shall we consider Gentlemen? How say you? + +_Capt_. Consider? that were a simple toy i'faith, consider? whose moral's +that? The man that cryes consider is our foe: let my steel know him. + +_Young Lo_. Stay thy dead doing hand, he must not die yet: prethee be +calm my _Hector_. + +_Capt_. Peasant slave, thou groom compos'd of grudgings, live and thank +this Gentleman, thou hadst seen _Pluto_ else. The next consider kills +thee. + +_Trav_. Let him drink down his word again in a gallon of Sack. + +_Poet_. 'Tis but a snuffe, make it two gallons, and let him doe it +kneeling in repentance. + +_Savil_. Nay rather kill me, there's but a lay-man lost. Good Captain doe +your office. + +_Young Lo_. Thou shalt drink Steward, drink and dance my Steward. Strike +him a horn-pipe squeakers, take thy striver, and pace her till she stew. + +_Savil_. Sure Sir, I cannot dance with your Gentlewomen, they are too +light for me, pray break my head, and let me goe. + +_Capt_. He shall dance, he shall dance. + +_Young Lo_. He shall dance, and drink, and be drunk and dance, and be +drunk again, and shall see no meat in a year. + +_Poet._ And three quarters? + +_Young Lo._ And three quarters be it. + +_Capt._ Who knocks there? let him in. + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless _disguised._ + +_Savill._ Some to deliver me I hope. + +_Elder Lo._ Gentlemen, God save you all, my business is to one Master +_Loveless_? + +_Capt._ This is the Gentleman you mean; view him, and take his Inventorie, +he's a right one. + +_Elder Lo._ He promises no less Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Sir, your business? + +_Elder Lo._ Sir, I should let you know, yet I am loth, yet I am sworn +to't, would some other tongue would speak it for me. + +_Young Lo._ Out with it i' Gods name. + +_Elder Lo._ All I desire Sir is, the patience and sufferance of a man, and +good Sir be not mov'd more. + +_Young Lo._ Then a pottle of sack will doe, here's my hand, prethee thy +business? + +_Elder Lo._ Good Sir excuse me, and whatsoever you hear, think must have +been known unto you, and be your self discreet, and bear it nobly. + +_Young Lo._ Prethee dispatch me. + +_Elder Lo._ Your Brother's dead Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Thou dost not mean dead drunk? + +_Elder Lo._ No, no, dead and drown'd at sea Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Art sure he's dead? + +_Elder Lo._ Too sure Sir. + +_Young Lo._ I but art thou very certainly sure of it? + +_Elder Lo._ As sure Sir, as I tell it. + +_Young Lo._ But art thou sure he came not up again? + +_Elder Lo._ He may come up, but ne're to call you Brother. + +_Young Lo._ But art sure he had water enough to drown him? + +_Elder Lo._ Sure Sir, he wanted none. + +_Young Lo._ I would not have him want, I lov'd him better; here I forgive +thee: and i'faith be plain, how do I bear it? + +_Elder Lo._ Very wisely Sir. + +_Young Lo_. Fill him some wine. Thou dost not see me mov'd, these +transitorie toyes ne're trouble me, he's in a better place, my friend I +know't. Some fellows would have cryed now, and have curst thee, and faln +out with their meat, and kept a pudder; but all this helps not, he was too +good for us, and let God keep him: there's the right use on't friend. Off +with thy drink, thou hast a spice of sorrow makes thee dry: fill him +another. _Savill_, your Master's dead, and who am I now _Savill_? Nay, +let's all bear it well, wipe _Savill_ wipe, tears are but thrown away: we +shall have wenches now, shall we not _Savill_? + +_Savill_. Yes Sir. + +_Young Lo_. And drink innumerable. + +_Savil_. Yes forsooth. + +_Young Lo_. And you'll strain curtsie and be drunk a little? + +_Savil_. I would be glad, Sir, to doe my weak endeavour. + +_Yo. Lo_. You may be brought in time to love a wench too. + +_Savil_. In time the sturdie Oak Sir. + +_Young Lo_. Some more wine for my friend there. + +_Elder Lo_. I shall be drunk anon for my good news: but I have a loving +Brother, that's my comfort. + +_Youn[g] Lo_. Here's to you Sir, this is the worst I wish you for your +news: and if I had another elder Brother, and say it were his chance to +feed Haddocks, I should be still the same you see me now, a poor contented +Gentleman. More wine for my friend there, he's dry again. + +_Elder Lo_. I shall be if I follow this beginning. Well my dear Brother, +if I scape this drowning, 'tis your turn next to sink, you shall duck +twice before I help you. Sir I cannot drink more; pray let me have your +pardon. + +_Young Lo_. O Lord Sir, 'tis your modestie: more wine, give him a bigger +glass; hug him my Captain, thou shalt be my chief mourner. + +_Capt_. And this my pennon: Sir, a full carouse to you, and to my Lord of +Land here. + +_Elder Lo_. I feel a buzzing in my brains, pray God they bear this out, +and I'le ne're trouble them so far again. Here's to you Sir. + +_Young Lo_. To my dear Steward, down o' your knees you infidel, you Pagan; +be drunk and penitent. + +_Savil._ Forgive me Sir, and I'le be any thing. + +_Young Lo._ Then be a Baud, I'le have thee a brave Baud. + +_Elder Lo._ Sir, I must take my leave of you, my business is so urgent. + +_Young Lo._ Let's have a bridling cast before you go. Fill's a new stoupe. + +_Elder Lo._ I dare not Sir, by no means. + +_Young Lo._ Have you any mind to a wench? I would fain gratifie you for +the pains you took Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ As little as to the t'other. + +_Young Lo._ If you find any stirring do but say so. + +_Elder Lo._ Sir, you are too bounteous, when I feel that itching, you +shall asswage it Sir, before another: this only and Farewell Sir. Your +Brother when the storm was most extream, told all about him, he left a +will which lies close behind a Chimney in the matted Chamber: and so as +well Sir, as you have made me able, I take my leave. + +_Young Lo._ Let us imbrace him all: if you grow drie before you end your +business, pray take a baite here, I have a fresh hogshead for you. + +_Savil._ You shall neither will nor chuse Sir. My Master is a wonderfull +fine Gentleman, has a fine state, a very fine state Sir, I am his Steward +Sir, and his man. + +_Elder Lo._ Would you were your own sir, as I left you. Well I must cast +about, or all sinks. + +_Savil._ Farewell Gentleman, Gentleman, Gentleman. + +_Elder Lo._ What would you with me sir? + +_Savil._ Farewell Gentleman. + +_Elder Lo._ O sleep Sir, sleep. [_Exit_ Elder Lo. + +_Young Lo._ Well boyes, you see what's faln, let's in and drink, and give +thanks for it. + +_Capt._ Let's give thanks for it. + +_Young Lo._ Drunk as I live. + +_Savil._ Drunk as I live boyes. + +_Young Lo._ Why, now thou art able to discharge thine office, and cast up +a reckoning of some weight; I will be knighted, for my state will bear it, +'tis sixteen hundred boyes: off with your husks, I'le skin you all in +Sattin. + +_Capt._ O sweet _Loveless_! + +_Savil._ All in Sattin? O sweet _Loveless_! + +_Young Lo_. March in my noble Compeeres: and this my Countess shall be led +by two: and so proceed we to the Will. + [_Exeunt._ + +_Enter_ Morecraft _the_ Usurer, _and_ Widow. + +_Morec_. And Widow as I say be your own friend: your husband left you +wealthy, I and wise, continue so sweet duck, continue so. Take heed of +young smooth Varlets, younger Brothers: they are worms that will eat +through your bags: they are very Lightning, that with a flash or two will +melt your money, and never singe your purse-strings: they are Colts, wench +Colts, heady and dangerous, till we take 'em up, and make 'em fit for +Bonds: look upon me, I have had, and have yet matter of moment girle, +matter of moment; you may meet with a worse back, I'le not commend it. + +_Wid_. Nor I neither Sir. + +_Mor_. Yet thus far by your favour Widow, 'tis tuffe. + +_Wid_. And therefore not for my dyet, for I love a tender one. + +_Mor_. Sweet Widow leave your frumps, and be edified: you know my state, I +sell no Perspectives, Scarfs, Gloves, nor Hangers, nor put my trust in +Shoe-ties; and where your Husband in an age was rising by burnt figs, +dreg'd with meal and powdered sugar, saunders, and grains, wormeseed and +rotten Raisins, and such vile Tobacco, that made the footmen mangie; I in +a year have put up hundreds inclos'd, my Widow, those pleasant Meadows, by +a forfeit morgage: for which the poor Knight takes a lone chamber, owes +for his Ale, and dare not beat his Hostess: nay more-- + +_Wid_. Good Sir no more, what ere my Husband was, I know what I am, and if +you marry me, you must bear it bravely off Sir. + +_Mor_. Not with the head, sweet Widow. + +_Wid_. No sweet Sir, but with your shoulders: I must have you dub'd, for +under that I will not stoop a feather. My husband was a fellow lov'd to +toyle, fed ill, made gain his exercise, and so grew costive, which for +that I was his wife, I gave way to, and spun mine own smocks course, and +sir, so little: but let that pass, time, that wears all things out, wore +out this husband, who in penitence of such fruitless five years marriage, +left me great with his wealth, which if you'le be a worthie gossip to, be +knighted Sir. [_Enter_ Savil. + +_Morec._ Now, Sir, from whom come you? whose man are you Sir? + +_Savil_. Sir, I come from young Master _Loveless_. + +_Mor_. Be silent Sir, I have no money, not a penny for you, he's sunk, +your Master's sunk, a perisht man Sir. + +_Savil_. Indeed his Brother's sunk sir, God be with him, a perisht man +indeed, and drown'd at Sea. + +_Morec_. How saidst thou, good my friend, his Brother drown'd? + +_Savil_. Untimely sir, at Sea. + +_Morec_. And thy young Master left sole Heir? + +_Savil_. Yes Sir. + +_Morec_. And he wants money? + +_Sav_. Yes, and sent me to you, for he is now to be knighted. + +_Mor_. Widow be wise, there's more Land coming, widow be very wise, and +give thanks for me widow. + +_Widow_. Be you very wise, and be knighted, and then give thanks for me +Sir. + +_Savil_. What sayes your worship to this mony? + +_Mor_. I say he may have mony if he please. + +_Savil_. A thousand Sir? + +_Mor_. A thousand Sir, provided any wise Sir, his Land lye for the +payment, otherwise-- + +_Enter_ Young Loveless _and_ Comrades _to them._ + +_Savil_. He's here himself Sir, and can better tell you. + +_Mor_. My notable dear friend, and worthy Master _Loveless_, and now right +worshipfull, all joy and welcom. + +_Yo. Lo_. Thanks to my dear incloser Master _Morecraft_, prethee old Angel +gold, salute my family, I'le do as much for yours; this, and your own +desires, fair Gentlewoman. + +_Wid_. And yours Sir, if you mean well; 'tis a hansome Gentleman. + +_Young Lo_. Sirrah, my Brother's dead. + +_More_. Dead? + +_Yo. Lo_. Dead, and by this time soust for Ember Week. + +_Morecraft_. Dead? + +_Young Lo_. Drown'd, drown'd at sea man, by the next fresh Conger that +comes we shall hear more. + +_Mor._ Now by my faith of my body it moves me much. + +_Yo. Lo._ What, wilt thou be an Ass, and weep for the dead? why I thought +nothing but a general inundation would have mov'd thee, prethe be quiet, +he hath left his land behind him. + +_Morecraft._ O has he so? + +_Young Lo._ Yes faith, I thank him for't, I have all boy, hast any ready +mony? + +_Morecraft._ Will you sell Sir? + +_Young Lo._ No not out right good Gripe; marry, a morgage or such a slight +securitie. + +_More._ I have no mony, Sir, for Morgage; if you will sell, and all or +none, I'le work a new Mine for you. + +_Sav._ Good Sir look before you, he'l work you out of all else: if you +sell all your Land, you have sold your Country, and then you must to Sea, +to seek your Brother, and there lye pickled in a Powdering tub, and break +your teeth with Biskets and hard Beef, that must have watering Sir: and +where's your 300 pounds a year in drink then? If you'l tun up the +Straights you may, for you have no calling for drink there, but with a +Canon, nor no scoring but on your Ships sides, and then if you scape with +life, and take a Faggot boat and a bottle of _Usquebaugh_, come home poor +men, like a tipe of Thames-street stinking of Pitch and Poor-John. I +cannot tell Sir, I would be loth to see it. + +_Capt._ Steward, you are an Ass, a meazel'd mungril, and were it not again +the peace of my soveraign friend here, I would break your fore-casting +Coxcomb, dog I would even with my staffe of Office there. Thy Pen and +Inkhorn Noble boy, the God of gold here has fed thee well, take mony for +thy durt: hark and believe, thou art cold of constitution, thy eat +unhealthful, sell and be wise; we are three that will adorn thee, and live +according to thine own heart child; mirth shall be only ours, and only +ours shall be the black eyed beauties of the time. Mony makes men Eternal. + +_Poet._ Do what you will, 'tis the noblest course, then you may live +without the charge of people, only we four will make a Family, I and an +Age that will beget new _Annals_, in which I'le write thy life my son of +pleasure, equal with _Nero_ and _Caligula_. + +_Young Lo._ What men were they Captain? + +_Capt_. Two roaring Boys of _Rome_, that made all split. + +_Young Lo_. Come Sir, what dare you give? + +_Sav_. You will not sell Sir? + +_Young Lo_. Who told you so Sir? + +_Sav_. Good Sir have a care. + +_Young Lo_. Peace, or I'le tack your Tongue up to your Roof. What money? +speak. + +_More_. Six thousand pound Sir. + +_Capt_. Take it, h'as overbidden by the Sun: bind him to his bargain +quickly. + +_Young Lo_. Come strike me luck with earnest, and draw the writings. + +_More_. There's a Gods peny for thee. + +_Sav_. Sir for my old Masters sake let my Farm be excepted, if I become +his Tenant I am undone, my Children beggers, and my Wife God knows what: +consider me dear Sir. + +_More_. I'le have all or none. + +_Young Lo_. All in, all in: dispatch the writings. [_Exit with Com._ + +_Wid_. Go, thou art a pretty forehanded fellow, would thou wert wiser. + +_Sav_. Now do I sensibly begin to feel my self a Rascal; would I could +teach a School, or beg, or lye well, I am utterly undone; now he that +taught thee to deceive and cousen, take thee to his mercy; so be it. + +[_Exit_ Savil. + +_More_. Come Widow come, never stand upon a Knight-hood, 'tis a meer paper +honour, and not proof enough for a Serjeant. Come, Come, I'le make thee-- + +_Wid_. To answer in short, 'tis this Sir. No Knight no Widow, if you make +me any thing, it must be a Lady, and so I take my leave. + +_More_. Farewel sweet Widow, and think of it. + +_Wid_. Sir, I do more than think of it, it makes me dream Sir. [_Ex._ Wid. + +_More_. She's rich and sober, if this itch were from her: and say I be at +the charge to pay the Footmen, and the Trumpets, I and the Horsemen too, +and be a Knight, and she refuse me then; then am I hoist into the subsidy, +and so by consequence should prove a Coxcomb: I'le have a care of that. +Six thousand pound, and then the Land is mine, there's some refreshing +yet. [_Exit._ + + + + +_Actus Tertius. Scena Prima_. + + +_Enter_ Abigal, _and drops her Glove._ + +_Abigal_. If he but follow me, as all my hopes tell me, he's man enough, +up goes my rest, and I know I shall draw him. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel_. This is the strangest pampered piece of flesh towards fifty, that +ever frailty copt withal, what a trim _lennoy_ here she has put upon me; +these women are a proud kind of Cattel, and love this whorson doing so +directly, that they will not stick to make their very skins Bawdes to +their flesh. Here's Dogskin and Storax sufficient to kill a Hawk: what to +do with it, besides nailing it up amongst _Irish_ heads of Teere, to shew +the mightiness of her Palm, I know not: there she is. I must enter into +Dialogue. Lady you have lost your Glove. + +_Abig_. Not Sir, if you have found it. + +_Wel_. It was my meaning Lady to restore it. + +_Abig_. 'Twill be uncivil in me to take back a favour, Fortune hath so +well bestowed Sir, pray wear it for me. + +_Wel_. I had rather wear a Bell. But hark you Mistres, what hidden vertue +is there in this Glove, that you would have me wear it? Is't good against +sore eyes, or will it charm the Toothach? Or these red tops; being steept +in white wine soluble, wil't kill the Itch? Or has it so conceal'd a +providence to keep my hand from Bonds? If it have none of these and prove +no more but a bare Glove of half a Crown a pair, 'twill be but half a +courtesie, I wear two alwayes, faith let's draw cuts, one will do me no +pleasure. + +_Abig_. The tenderness of his years keeps him as yet in ignorance, he's a +well moulded fellow, and I wonder his bloud should stir no higher; but +'tis his want of company: I must grow nearer to him. + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless _disguised._ + +_Elder Lo_. God save you both. + +_Abig_. And pardon you Sir; this is somewhat rude, how came you hither? + +_Elder Lo_. Why through the doors, they are open. + +_Wel_. What are you? And what business have you here? + +_Elder Lo_. More I believe than you have. + +_Abig_. Who would this fellow speak with? Art thou sober? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, I come not here to sleep. + +_Wel_. Prethee what art thou? + +_Elder Lo_. As much (gay man) as thou art, I am a Gentleman. + +_Wel_. Art thou no more? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes more than thou dar'st be; a Souldier. + +_Abig_. Thou dost not come to quarrel? + +_Elder Lo_. No, not with women; I come to speak here with a Gentlewoman. + +_Abig_. Why, I am one. + +_Elder Lo_. But not with one so gentle. + +_Wel_. This is a fine fellow. + +_Elder Lo_. Sir, I am not fine yet. I am but new come over, direct me with +your ticket to your Taylor, and then I shall be fine Sir. Lady if there be +a better of your Sex within this house, say I would see her. + +_Abig_. Why am not I good enough for you Sir? + +_Elder Lo_. Your way you'l be too good, pray end my business. This is +another Sutor, O frail Woman! + +_Wel_. This fellow with his bluntness hopes to do more than the long sutes +of a thousand could; though he be sowre he's quick, I must not trust him. +Sir, this Lady is not to speak with you, she is more serious: you smell as +if you were new calkt; go and be hansome, and then you may sit with her +Servingmen. + +_El. Lo_. What are you Sir? + +_Wel_. Guess by my outside. + +_Elder Lo_. Then I take you Sir, for some new silken thing wean'd from the +Country, that shall (when you come to keep good company) be beaten into +better manners. Pray good proud Gentlewoman, help me to your Mistress. + +_Abig_. How many lives hast thou, that thou talk'st thus rudely? + +_Elder Lo_. But one, one, I am neither Cat nor Woman. + +_Wel_. And will that one life, Sir, maintain you ever in such bold +sawciness? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, amongst a Nation of such men as you are, and be no worse +for wearing, shall I speak with this Lady? + +_Abig_. No by my troth shall you not. + +_Elder Lo_. I must stay here then? + +_Wel_. That you shall not neither. + +_Elder Lo_. Good fine thing tell me why? + +_Wel_. Good angry thing I'le tell you: +This is no place for such companions, +Such lousie Gentlemen shall find their business +Better i'th' Suburbs, there your strong pitch perfume, +Mingled with lees of Ale, shall reek in fashion: +This is no Thames-street, Sir. + +_Abig_. This Gentleman informs you truly: +Prethee be satisfied, and seek the Suburbs, +Good Captain, or what ever title else, +The Warlike Eele-boats have bestowed upon thee, +Go and reform thy self, prethee be sweeter, +And know my Lady speaks with no Swabbers. + +_Elder Lo_. You cannot talk me out with your tradition +Of wit you pick from Plays, go to, I have found ye: +And for you, Sir, whose tender gentle blood +Runs in your Nose, and makes you snuff at all, +But three pil'd people, I do let you know, +He that begot your worships Sattin-sute, +Can make no men Sir: I will see this Lady, +And with the reverence of your silkenship, +In these old Ornaments. + +_Wel_. You will not sure? + +_Elder Lo_. Sure Sir I shall. + +_Abig_. You would be beaten out? + +_Elder Lo_. Indeed I would not, or if I would be beaten, +Pray who shall beat me? this good Gentleman +Looks as if he were o'th' peace. + +_Wel_. Sir you shall see that: will you get you out? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, that, that shall correct your boys tongue. +Dare you fight, I will stay here still. [_They draw._ + +_Abig_. O their things are out, help, help for Gods sake, +Madam; Jesus they foin at one another. + +_Enter_ Lady. + +Madam, why, who is within there? + +_Lady_. Who breeds this rudeness? + +_Wel._ This uncivil fellow; +He saies he comes from Sea, where I believe, +H'as purg'd away his manners. + +_Lady._ Why what of him? + +_Wel._ Why he will rudely without once God bless you, +Press to your privacies, and no denial +Must stand betwixt your person and his business; +I let go his ill Language. + +_Lady._ Sir, have you business with me? + +_Elder Lo._ Madam some I have, +But not so serious to pawn my life for't: +If you keep this quarter, and maintain about you +Such Knights o'th' _Sun_ as this is, to defie +Men of imployment to ye, you may live, +But in what fame? + +_Lady._ Pray stay Sir, who has wrong'd you? + +_Elder Lo._ Wrong me he cannot, though uncivilly +He flung his wild words at me: but to you +I think he did no honour, to deny +The hast I come withal, a passage to you, +Though I seem course. + +_Lady._ Excuse me gentle Sir, 'twas from my knowledge, +And shall have no protection. And to you Sir, +You have shew'd more heat than wit, and from your self +Have borrowed power, I never gave you here, +To do these vile unmanly things: my house +Is no blind street to swagger in; and my favours +Not doting yet on your unknown deserts +So far, that I should make you Master of my business; +My credit yet stands fairer with the people +Than to be tried with swords; and they that come +To do me service, must not think to win me +With hazard of a murther; if your love +Consist in fury, carry it to the Camp: +And there in honour of some common Mistress, +Shorten your youth, I pray be better temper'd: +And give me leave a while Sir. + +_Wel._ You must have it. [_Exit_ Welford. + +_Lady._ Now Sir, your business? + +_El. Lo._ First, I thank you for schooling this young fellow, +Whom his own follies, which he's prone enough +Daily to fall into, if you but frown, +Shall level him a way to his repentance: +Next, I should rail at you, but you are a Woman, +And anger's lost upon you. + +_Lady._ Why at me Sir? +I never did you wrong, for to my knowledge +This is the first sight of you. + +_Elder Lo._ You have done that, +I must confess I have the least curse in +Because the least acquaintance: But there be +(If there be honour in the minds of men) +Thousands when they shall know what I deliver, +(As all good men must share in't) will to shame +Blast your black memory. + +_Lady._ How is this good Sir? + +_Elder Lo._ 'Tis that, that if you have a soul will choak it: +Y'ave kill'd a Gentleman. + +_Lady._ I kill'd a Gentleman! + +_Elder Lo._ You and your cruelty have kill'd him Woman, +And such a man (let me be angry in't) +Whose least worth weighed above all womens vertues +That are; I spare you all to come too: guess him now? + +_Lady._ I am so innocent I cannot Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. Repent you mean, you are a perfect Woman, +And as the first was, made for mans undoing. + +_Lady._ Sir, you have mist your way, I am not she. + +_Elder Lo._ Would he had mist his way too, though he had +Wandered farther than Women are ill spoken of, +So he had mist this misery, you Lady. + +_Lady._ How do you do, Sir? + +_Elder Lo._ Well enough I hope. +While I can keep my self out from temptations. + +_Lady._ Leap into this matter, whither would ye? + +_Elder Lo._ You had a Servant that your peevishness +Injoined to Travel. + +_Lady._ Such a one I have +Still, and shall be griev'd 'twere otherwise. + +_El. Lo._ Then have your asking, and be griev'd he's dead; +How you will answer for his worth, I know not, +But this I am sure, either he, or you, or both +Were stark mad, else he might have liv'd +To have given a stronger testimony to th' world +Of what he might have been. He was a man +I knew but in his evening, ten Suns after, +Forc'd by a Tyrant storm our beaten Bark +Bulg'd under us; in which sad parting blow, +He call'd upon his Saint, but not for life, +On you unhappy Woman, and whilest all +Sought to preserve their Souls, he desperately +Imbrac'd a Wave, crying to all that saw it, +If any live, go to my Fate that forc'd me +To this untimely end, and make her happy: +His name was _Loveless_: And I scap't the storm, +And now you have my business. + +_Lady._ 'Tis too much. +Would I had been that storm, he had not perisht. +If you'l rail now I will forgive you Sir. +Or if you'l call in more, if any more +Come from this ruine, I shall justly suffer +What they can say, I do confess my self +A guiltie cause in this. I would say more, +But grief is grown too great to be delivered. + +_Elder Lo._ I like this well: these women are strange things. +'Tis somewhat of the latest now to weep, +You should have wept when he was going from you, +And chain'd him with those tears at home. + +_La._ Would you had told me then so, these two arms had been his Sea. + +_Elder Lo._ Trust me you move me much: but say he lived, these were +forgotten things again. + +_Lady._ I, say you so? Sure I should know that voice: this is knavery. +I'le fit you for it. Were he living Sir, I would perswade you to be +charitable, I, and confess we are not all so ill as your opinion holds us. +O my friend, what penance shall I pull upon my fault, upon my most +unworthy self for this? + +_Elder Lo._ Leave to love others, 'twas some jealousie +That turn'd him desperate. + +_Lady._ I'le be with you straight: are you wrung there? + +_Elder Lo._ This works amain upon her. + +_Lady._ I do confess there is a Gentleman +Has born me long good will. + +_Elder Lo._ I do not like that. + +_Lady._ And vow'd a thousand services to me; to me, regardless of him: But +since Fate, that no power can withstand, has taken from me my first, and +best love, and to weep away my youth is a mere folly, I will shew you what +I determine sir: you shall know all: Call M. _Welford_ there: That +Gentleman I mean to make the model of my Fortunes, and in his chast +imbraces keep alive the memory of my lost lovely _Loveless_: he is +somewhat like him too. + +_Elder Lo._ Then you can love. + +_Lady._ Yes certainly Sir? +Though it please you to think me hard and cruel, +I hope I shall perswade you otherwise. + +_Elder Lo._ I have made my self a fine fool. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel._ Would you have spoke with me Madam? + +_Lady._ Yes M. _Welford_, and I ask your pardon before this Gentleman for +being froward: this kiss, and henceforth more affection. + +_Elder Lo._ So, 'tis better I were drown'd indeed. + +_Wel._ This is a sudden passion, God hold it. +This fellow out of his fear sure has +Perswaded her. I'le give him a new suit on't. + +_La._ A parting kiss, and good Sir, let me pray you +To wait me in the Gallerie. + +_Wel._ I am in another world, Madam where you please. [_Exit_ Welford. + +_Elder Lo._ I will to Sea, and 't shall goe hard but I'le be drown'd +indeed. + +_La._ Now Sir you see I am no such hard creature, +But time may win me. + +_Elder Lo._ You have forgot your lost Love. + +_La._ Alas Sir, what would you have me do? I cannot call him back again +with sorrow; I'le love this man as dearly, and beshrow me I'le keep him +far enough from Sea, and 'twas told me, now I remember me, by an old wise +woman, that my first Love should be drown'd, and see 'tis come about. + +_Elder Lo._ I would she had told you your second should be hang'd too, and +let that come about: but this is very strange. + +_La._ Faith Sir, consider all, and then I know you'le be of my mind: if +weeping would redeem him, I would weep still. + +_Elder Lo._ But say that I were _Loveless_, +And scap'd the storm, how would you answer this? + +_Lady._ Why for that Gentleman I would leave all the world. + +_Elder Lo._ This young thing too? + +_Lady._ That young thing too, +Or any young thing else: why, I would lose my state. + +_Elder Lo._ Why then he lives still, I am he, your _Loveless_. + +_Lady._ Alas I knew it Sir, and for that purpose prepared this Pageant: +get you to your task. And leave these Players tricks, or I shall leave +you, indeed I shall. Travel, or know me not. + +_Elder Lo._ Will you then marry? + +_Lady._ I will not promise, take your choice. Farewell. + +_Elder Lo._ There is no other Purgatorie but a Woman. +I must doe something. [_Exit_ Loveless. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel._ Mistress I am bold. + +_Lady._ You are indeed. + +_Wel._ You so overjoyed me Lady. + +_Lady._ Take heed you surfeit not, pray fast and welcom. + +_Wel._ By this light you love me extreamly. + +_Lady._ By this, and to morrows light, I care not for you. + +_Wel._ Come, come, you cannot hide it. + +_Lady._ Indeed I can, where you shall never find it. + +_Wel._ I like this mirth well Lady. + +_Lady._ You shall have more on't. + +_Wel._ I must kiss you. + +_Lady._ No Sir. + +_Wel._ Indeed I must. + +_Lady._ What must be, must be; I'le take my leave, you have your parting +blow: I pray commend me to those few friends you have, that sent you +hither, and tell them when you travel next, 'twere fit you brought less +bravery with you, and more wit, you'le never get a wife else. + +_Wel._ Are you in earnest? + +_Lady._ Yes faith. Will you eat Sir, your horses will be readie straight, +you shall have a napkin laid in the butterie for ye. + +_Wel._ Do not you love me then? + +_Lady._ Yes, for that face. + +_Wel._ It is a good one Ladie. + +_Lady._ Yes, if it were not warpt, the fire in time may mend it. + +_Wel._ Me thinks yours is none of the best Ladie. + +_Lady._ No by my troth Sir; yet o' my conscience, You would make shift +with it. + +_Wel._ Come pray no more of this. + +_Lady._ I will not: Fare you well. Ho, who's within there? bring out the +Gentlemans horses, he's in haste; and set some cold meat on the Table. + +_Wel._ I have too much of that I thank you Ladie: take your Chamber when +you please, there goes a black one with you Ladie. + +_Lady._ Farewell young man. [_Exit_ Ladie. + +_Wel._ You have made me one, Farewell: and may the curse of a great house +fall upon thee, I mean the Butler. The devil and all his works are in +these women, would all of my sex were of my mind, I would make 'em a new +Lent, and a long one, that flesh might be in more reverence with them. + +_Enter Abigal to him._ + +_Abig._ I am sorry M. _Welford_. + +_Wel._ So am I, that you are here. + +_Abig._ How does my Ladie use you? + +_Wel._ As I would use you, scurvilie. + +_Abig._ I should have been more kind Sir. + +_Wel._ I should have been undone then. Pray leave me, and look to your +sweet-meats; hark, your Ladie calls. + +_Abig._ Sir, I shall borrow so much time without offence. + +_Wel._ Y'are nothing but offence, for Gods love leave me. + +_Abig._ 'Tis strange my Ladie should be such a tyrant? + +_Wel._ To send you to me, 'Pray goe stitch, good doe, y'are more trouble +to me than a Term. + +_Abig._ I do not know how my good will, if I said love I lied not, should +any way deserve this? + +_Wel._ A thousand waies, a thousand waies; sweet creature let me depart in +peace. + +_Abig._ What Creature Sir? I hope I am a woman. + +_Wel._ A hundred I think by your noise. + +_Abig._ Since you are angrie Sir, I am bold to tell you that I am a woman, +and a rib. + +_Wel._ Of a roasted horse. + +_Abig._ Conster me that? + +_Wel._ A Dog can doe it better; Farwell Countess, and commend me to your +Ladie, tell her she's proud, and scurvie, and so I commit you both to your +tempter. + +_Abig._ Sweet Mr. _Welford_. + +_Wel._ Avoid old Satanus: Go daub your ruines, your face looks fouler than +a storm: the Foot-man stayes for you in the Lobby Lady. + +_Abig._ If you were a Gentleman, I should know it by your gentle +conditions: are these fit words to give a Gentlewoman? + +_Wel._ As fit as they were made for ye: Sirrah, my horses. Farwell old +Adage, keep your nose warm, the Rheum will make it horn else-- +[_Exit_ Welford. + +_Abig._ The blessings of a Prodigal young heir be thy companions +_Welford_, marry come up my Gentleman, are your gums grown so tender they +cannot bite? A skittish Filly will be your fortune _Welford_, and fair +enough for such a packsaddle. And I doubt not (if my aim hold) to see her +made to amble to your hand. [_Exit Abigal._ + +_Enter_ Young Loveless, _and_ Comrades, Morecraft, Widow, Savil, _and the +rest._ + +_Captain._ Save thy brave shoulder, my young puissant Knight, and may thy +back Sword bite them to the bone that love thee not, thou art an errant +man, go on. The circumcis'd shall fall by thee. Let Land and labour fill +the man that tills, thy sword must be thy plough, and _Jove_ it speed. +_Mecha_ shall sweat, and _Mahomet_ shall fall, and thy dear name fill up +his monument. + +_Yo. L._ It shall Captain, I mean to be a Worthy. + +_Cap._ One Worthy is too little, thou shalt be all. + +_Mor._ Captain I shall deserve some of your love too. + +_Capt._ Thou shalt have heart and hand too, noble _Morecraft_, if them +wilt lend me mony. I am a man of Garrison, be rul'd, and open to me those +infernal gates, whence none of thy evil Angels pass again, and I will +stile thee noble, nay _Don Diego_. I'le woo thy _Infanta_ for thee, and my +Knight shall feast her with high meats, and make her apt. + +_Mor._ Pardon me Captain, y'are beside my meaning. + +_Young Lo._ No Mr. _Morecraft_, 'tis the Captains meaning I should prepare +her for ye. + +_Capt._ Or provok her. Speak my modern man, I say provoke her. + +_Poet._ Captain, I say so too, or stir her to it. So say the Criticks. + +_Young Lo._ But howsoever you expound it sir, she's very welcom, and this +shall serve for witness. And Widow, since y'are come so happily, you shall +deliver up the keyes, and free possession of this house, whilst I stand by +to ratifie. + +_Wid._ I had rather give it back again believe me, 'Tis a miserie to say +you had it. Take heed? + +_Young Lo._ 'Tis past that Widow, come, sit down, some wine there, there +is a scurvie banquet if we had it. All this fair house is yours Sir +_Savil_? + +_Savil._ Yes Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Are your keyes readie, I must ease your burden. + +_Sav._ I am readie Sir to be undone, when you shall call me to't. + +_Young Lo._ Come come, thou shalt live better. + +_Sav._ I shall have less to doe, that's all, there's half a dozen of my +friends i'th' fields sunning against a bank, with half a breech among 'em, +I shall be with 'em shortly. The care and continuall vexation of being +rich, eat up this rascall. What shall become of my poor familie, they are +no sheep, and they must keep themselves. + +_Young Lo._ Drink Master _Morecraft_, pray be merrie all: +Nay and you will not drink there's no societie, +Captain speak loud, and drink: widow, a word. + +_Cap._ Expou[n]d her throughly Knight. Here God o' gold, here's to thy +fair possessions; Be a Baron and a bold one: leave off your tickling of +young heirs like Trouts, and let thy Chimnies smoke. Feed men of war, live +and be honest, and be saved yet. + +_Mor._ I thank you worthie Captain for your counsel. You keep your +Chimnies smoking there, your nostrils, and when you can, you feed a man of +War, this makes you not a Baron, but a bare one: and how or when you shall +be saved, let the Clark o'th' companie (you have commanded) have a just +care of. + +_Poet._ The man is much moved. Be not angrie Sir, but as the Poet sings, +let your displeasure be a short furie, and goe out. You have spoke home, +and bitterly, to me Sir. Captain take truce, the Miser is a tart and a +wittie whorson-- + +_Cap._ Poet, you feign perdie, the wit of this man lies in his fingers +ends, he must tell all; his tongue fills his mouth like a neats tongue, +and only serves to lick his hungrie chaps after a purchase: his brains and +brimstone are the devils diet to a fat usurers head: To her Knight, to +her: clap her aboard, and stow her. Where's the brave Steward? + +_Savil._ Here's your poor friend, and _Savil_ Sir. + +_Capt._ Away, th'art rich in ornaments of nature. First in thy face, thou +hast a serious face, a betting, bargaining, and saving face, a rich face, +pawn it to the Usurer; a face to kindle the compassion of the most +ignorant and frozen Justice. + +_Savil._ 'Tis such I dare not shew it shortly sir. + +_Capt._ Be blithe and bonny steward: Master _Morecraft_, Drink to this man +of reckoning? + +_Mor._ Here's e'ne to him. + +_Savil._ The Devil guide it downward: would there were in't an acre of the +great broom field he bought, to sweep your durtie Conscience, or to choak +ye, 'tis all one to me, Usurer. + +_Young Lo._ Consider what I told you, you are young, unapt for worldly +business: Is it fit one of such tenderness, so delicate, so contrarie to +things of care, should stir and break her better meditations, in the bare +brokage of a brace of Angels? or a new Kirtel, though it be Satten? eat by +the hope of surfeits, and lie down only in expectation of a morrow, that +may undo some easie hearted fool, or reach a widows curses? Let out mony, +whose use returns the principal? and get out of these troubles, a +consuming heir: For such a one must follow necessarily, you shall die +hated, if not old and miserable; and that possest wealth that you got with +pining, live to see tumbled to anothers hands, that is no more a kin to +you, than you to his couzenage. + +_Widow._ Sir you speak well, would God that charity had first begun here. + +_Young Lo._ 'Tis yet time. Be merrie, me thinks you want wine there, +there's more i'th' house. Captain, where rests the health? + +_Captain._ It shall goe round boy. + +_Young Lo._ Say you can suffer this, because the end points at much +profit, can you so far bow below your blood, below your too much beautie, +to be a partner of this fellowes bed, and lie with his diseases? if you +can, I will no[t] press you further: yet look upon him: there's nothing in +that hide-bound Usurer, that man of mat, that all decai'd, but aches, for +you to love, unless his perisht lungs, his drie cough, or his scurvie. +This is truth, and so far I dare speak yet: he has yet past cure of +Physick, spaw, or any diet, a primitive pox in his bones; and o' my +Knowledge he has been ten times rowell'd: ye may love him; he had a +bastard, his own toward issue, whipt, and then cropt for washing out the +roses, in three farthings to make 'em pence. + +_Widow._ I do not like these Morals. + +_Young Lo._ You must not like him then. + +_Enter_ Elder Love. + +_Elder Lo._ By your leave Gentlemen? + +_Young Lo._ By my troth sir you are welcom, welcom faith: Lord what a +stranger you are grown; pray know this Gentlewoman, and if you please +these friends here: we are merry, you see the worst on't; your house has +been kept warm Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ I am glad to hear it Brother, pray God you are wise too. + +_Young Lo._ Pray Mr. _Morecraft_ know my elder Brother, and Captain do you +complement. _Savil_ I dare swear is glad at heart to see you; Lord, we +heard Sir you were drown'd at Sea, and see how luckily things come about! + +_More._ This mony must be paid again Sir. + +_Young Lo._ No Sir, pray keep the Sale, 'twill make good Tailors measures; +I am well I thank you. + +_Wid._ By my troth the Gentleman has stew'd him in his own Sawce, I shall +love him for't. + +_Sav._ I know not where I am, I am so glad: your worship is the welcom'st +man alive; upon my knees I bid you welcome home: here has been such a +hurry, such a din, such dismal Drinking, Swearing and Whoring, 'thas +almost made me mad: we have all liv'd in a continual _Turnbal-street_; +Sir, blest be Heaven, that sent you safe again, now shall I eat and go to +bed again. + +_Elder Lo._ Brother dismiss these people. + +_Young Lo._ Captain be gone a while, meet me at my old _Randevouse_ in the +evening, take your small Poet with you. Mr. _Morecraft_ you were best go +prattle with your learned Counsel, I shall preserve your mony, I was +couzen'd when time was, we are quit Sir. + +_Wid._ Better and better still. + +_Elder Lo._ What is this fellow, Brother? + +_Young Lo._ The thirsty Usurer that supt my Land off. + +_Elder Lo._ What does he tarry for? + +_Young Lo._ Sir to be Landlord of your House and State: I was bold to make +a little sale Sir. + +_More._ Am I overreach'd? if there be Law I'le hamper ye. + +_Elder Lo._ Prethee be gone, and rave at home, thou art so base a fool I +cannot laugh at thee: Sirrah, this comes of couzening, home and spare, eat +Reddish till you raise your sums again. If you stir far in this, I'le have +you whipt, your ears nail'd for intelligencing o'the Pillory, and your +goods forfeit: you are a stale couzener, leave my house: no more. + +_More._ A pox upon your house. Come Widow, I shall yet hamper this young +Gamester. + +_Wid._ Good twelve i'th' hundred keep your way, I am not for your diet, +marry in your own Tribe _Jew_, and get a Broker. + +_Young Lo._ 'Tis well said Widow: will you jog on Sir? + +_More._ Yes, I will go, but 'tis no matter whither: +But when I trust a wild Fool, and a Woman, +May I lend Gratis, and build Hospitals. + +_Young Lo._ Nay good Sir, make all even, here's a Widow wants your good +word for me, she's rich, and may renew me and my fortunes. + +_Elder Lo._ I am glad you look before you. Gentlewoman, here is a poor +distressed younger Brother. + +_Wid._ You do him wrong Sir, he's a Knight. + +_Elder Lo._ I ask you mercy: yet 'tis no matter, his Knighthood is no +inheritance I take it: whatsoever he is, he is your Servant, or would be, +Lady. Faith be not merciless, but make a man; he's young and handsome, +though he be my Brother, and his observances may deserve your Love: he +shall not fail for means. + +_Wid._ Sir you speak like a worthy Brother: and so much I do credit your +fair Language, that I shall love your Brother: and so love him, but I +shall blush to say more. + +_Elder Lo._ Stop her mouth. I hope you shall not live to know that hour +when this shall be repented. Now Brother I should chide, but I'le give no +distaste to your fair Mistress. I will instruct her in't and she shall +do't: you have been wild and ignorant, pray mend it. + +_Young Lo._ Sir, every day now Spring comes on. + +_Elder Lo._ To you good Mr. _Savil_ and your Office, thus much I have to +say: Y'are from my Steward become, first your own Drunkard, then his Bawd: +they say y'are excellent grown in both, and perfect: give me your keys Sir +_Savil_. + +_Savil._ Good Sir consider whom you left me to. + +_Elder Lo._ I left you as a curb for, not to provoke my Brothers follies: +where's the best drink, now? come, tell me _Savil_; where's the soundest +Whores? Ye old he Goat, ye dried Ape, ye lame Stallion, must you be +leading in my house your Whores, like Fairies dance their night rounds, +without fear either of King or Constable, within my walls? Are all my +Hangings safe; my Sheep unfold yet? I hope my Plate is currant, I ha' too +much on't. What say you to 300 pounds in drink now? + +_Sav._ Good Sir forgive me, and but hear me speak? + +_Elder Lo._ Me thinks thou shouldst be drunk still, and not speak, 'tis +the more pardonable. + +_Sav._ I will Sir, if you will have it so. + +_Elder Lo._ I thank ye: yes, e'ne pursue it Sir: do you hear? get a Whore +soon for your recreation: go look out Captain _Broken-breech_ your fellow, +and Quarrel if you dare: I shall deliver these Keys to one shall have more +honesty, though not so much fine wit Sir. You may walk and gather +_Cresses_ fit to cool your Liver; there's something for you to begin a +Diet, you'l have the Pox else. Speed you well, Sir _Savil_: you may eat at +my house to preserve life; but keep no Fornication in the Stables. +[_Ex. om. pr._ Savil. + +_Sav._ Now must I hang my self, my friends will look for't. +Eating and sleeping, I do despise you both now: +I will run mad first, and if that get not pitty, +I'le drown my self, to a most dismal ditty. [_Exit_ Savil. + + + + +_Actus Quartus. Scena Prima._ + + +_Enter_ Abigal _sola._ + +_Abigal._ Alas poor Gentlewoman, to what a misery hath Age brought thee: +to what a scurvy Fortune! Thou that hast been a Companion for Noblemen, +and at the worst of those times for Gentlemen: now like a broken +Servingman, must beg for favour to those, that would have crawl'd like +Pilgrims to my Chamber but for an Apparition of me. You that be coming on, +make much of fifteen, and so till five and twenty: use your time with +reverence, that your profits may arise: it will not tarry with you, _Ecce +signum_: here was a face, but time that like a surfeit eats our youth, +plague of his iron teeth, and draw 'em for't, has been a little bolder +here than welcome: and now to say the truth, I am fit for no man. Old men +i'th' house of fifty, call me Granum; and when they are drunk, e'ne then, +when _Jone_ and my Lady are all one, not one will do me reason. My little +Levite hath forsaken me, his silver sound of Cittern quite abolish[t], +[h]is doleful _hymns_ under my Chamber window, digested into tedious +learning: well fool, you leapt a Haddock when you left him: he's a clean +man, and a good edifier, and twenty nobles is his state _de claro_, +besides his pigs in _posse_. To this good _Homilist_ I have been ever +stubborn, which God forgive me for, and mend my manners: and Love, if ever +thou hadst care of forty, of such a piece of lape ground, hear my prayer, +and fire his zeal so far forth that my faults in this renued impression of +my love may shew corrected to our gentle reader. + +_Enter_ Roger. + +See how negligently he passes by me: with what an Equipage Canonical, as +though he had broken the heart of _Bellarmine_, or added something to the +singing Brethren. 'Tis scorn, I know it, and deserve it, Mr. _Roger_. + +_Rog._ Fair Gentlewoman, my name is _Roger_. + +_Abig_. Then gentle _Roger_? + +_Rog_. Ungentle _Abigal_. + +_Abig_. Why M'r _Roger_ will you set your wit to a weak womans? + +_Rog_. You are weak indeed: for so the Poet sings. + +_Abig_. I do confess my weakness, sweet Sir _Roger_. + +_Rog_. Good my Ladies Gentlewoman, or my good Ladies Gentlewoman (this +trope is lost to you now) leave your prating, you have a season of your +first mother in ye: and surely had the Devil been in love, he had been +abused too: go _Dalilah_, you make men fools, and wear Fig-breeches. + +_Abi_. Well, well, hard hearted man; dilate upon the weak infirmities of +women: these are fit texts, but once there was a time, would I had never +seen those eyes, those eyes, those orient eyes. + +_Rog_. I they were pearls once with you. + +_Abi_. Saving your reverence Sir, so they are still. + +_Rog_. Nay, nay, I do beseech you leave your cogging, what they are, they +are, they serve me without Spectacles I thank 'em. + +_Abig_. O will you kill me? + +_Rog_. I do not think I can, +Y'are like a Copy-hold with nine lives in't. + +_Abig_. You were wont to bear a Christian fear about you: +For your own worships sake. + +_Rog_. I was a Christian fool then: Do you remember what a dance you led +me? how I grew qualm'd in love, and was a dunce? could expound but once a +quarter, and then was out too: and then out of the stinking stir you put +me in, I prayed for my own issue. You do remember all this? + +_Abig_. O be as then you were! + +_Rog_. I thank you for it, surely I will be wiser _Abigal_: and as the +Ethnick Poet sings, I will not lose my oyl and labour too. Y'are for the +worshipfull I take it _Abigal_. + +_Abig_. O take it so, and then I am for thee! + +_Rog_. I like these tears well, and this humbling also, they are Symptomes +of contrition. If I should fall into my fit again, would you not shake me +into a quotidian Coxcombe? Would you not use me scurvily again, and give +me possets with purging Confets in't? I tell thee Gentlewoman, thou hast +been harder to me, than a long pedigree. + +_Abig_. O Curate cure me: I will love thee better, dearer, longer: I will +do any thing, betray the secrets of the main house-hold to thy +reformation. My Ladie shall look lovingly on thy learning, and when true +time shall point thee for a Parson, I will convert thy egges to penny +custards, and thy tith goose shall graze and multiply. + +_Rog_. I am mollified, as well shall testifie this faithfull kiss, and +have a great care Mistris _Abigal_ how you depress the Spirit any more +with your rebukes and mocks: for certainly the edge of such a follie cuts +it self. + +_Abigal_. O Sir, you have pierc'd me thorow. Here I vow a recantation to +those malicious faults I ever did against you. Never more will I despise +your learning, never more pin cards and cony tails upon your Cassock, +never again reproach your reverend nightcap, and call it by the mangie +name of murrin, never your reverend person more, and say, you look like +one of _Baals_ Priests in a hanging, never again when you say grace laugh +at you, nor put you out at prayers: never cramp you more, nor when you +ride, get Sope and Thistles for you. No my _Roger_, these faults shall be +corrected and amended, as by the tenour of my tears appears. + +_Rog_. Now cannot I hold if I should be hang'd, I must crie too. Come to +thine own beloved, and do even what thou wilt with me sweet, sweet +_Abigal_. I am thine own for ever: here's my hand, when _Roger_ proves a +recreant, hang him i'th' Bel-ropes. + +_Enter_ Lady, _and_ Martha. + +_Lady_. Why how now Master _Roger_, no prayers down with you to night? Did +you hear the bell ring? You are courting: your flock shall fat well for +it. + +_Rog_. I humbly ask your pardon: I'le clap up Prayers, but stay a little, +and be with you again. [_Exit_ Roger. + +_Enter_ Elder Love. + +_Lady_. How dare you, being so unworthie a fellow, +Presume to come to move me any more? + +_Elder Lo_. Ha, ha, ha. + +_Lady_. What ails the fellow? + +_Elder Lo_. The fellow comes to laugh at you, I tell you Ladie I would not +for your Land, be such a Coxcomb, such a whining Ass, as you decreed me +for when I was last here. + +_Lady_. I joy to hear you are wise, 'tis a rare Jewel +In an Elder Brother: pray be wiser yet. + +_Elder Lo._ Me thinks I am very wise: I do not come a wooing. Indeed I'le +move no more love to your Ladiship. + +_Lady_. What makes you here then? + +_Elder Lo_. Only to see you and be merry Ladie: that's all my business. +Faith let's be very merry. Where's little _Roger_? he's a good fellow: an +hour or two well spent in wholesome mirth, is worth a thousand of these +puling passions. 'Tis an ill world for Lovers. + +_Lady_. They were never fewer. + +_Elder Lo_. I thank God there's one less for me Ladie. + +_Lady_. You were never any Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. Till now, and now I am the prettiest fellow. + +_Lady_. You talk like a Tailor Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. Me thinks your faces are no such fine things now. + +_Lady_. Why did you tell me you were wise? Lord what a lying age is this, +where will you mend these faces? + +_Elder Lo_. A Hogs face soust is worth a hundred of 'em. + +_Lady_. Sure you had a Sow to your Mother. + +_Elder Lo_. She brought such fine white Pigs as you, fit for none but +Parsons Ladie. + +_Lady_. 'Tis well you will allow us our Clergie yet. + +_Elder Lo_. That shall not save you. O that I were in love again with a +wish. + +_Lady_. By this light you are a scurvie fellow, pray be gone. + +_Elder Lo_. You know I am a clean skin'd man. + +_Lady_. Do I know it? + +_Elder Lo_. Come, come, you would know it; that's as good: but not a snap, +never long for't, not a snap dear Ladie. + +_Lady_. Hark ye Sir, hark ye, get ye to the Suburbs, there's horse flesh +for such hounds: will you goe Sir? + +_Elder Lo_. Lord how I lov'd this woman, how I worshipt this prettie calf +with the white face here: as I live, you were the prettiest fool to play +withall, the wittiest little varlet, it would talk: Lord how it talk't! +and when I angred it, it would cry out, and scratch, and eat no meat, and +it would say, goe hang. + +_Lady_. It will say so still, if you anger it. + +_Elder Lo_. And when I askt it, if it would be married, it sent me of an +errand into _France_, and would abuse me, and be glad it did so. + +_Lady_. Sir this is most unmanly, pray by gon. + +_Elder Lo_. And swear (even when it twitter'd to be at me) I was +unhansome. + +_Lady_. Have you no manners in you? + +_Elder Lo_. And say my back was melted, when God he knows, I kept it at a +charge: Four _Flaunders_ Mares would have been easier to me, and a Fencer. + +_Lady_. You think all this is true now? + +_Elder Lo_. Faith whether it be or no, 'tis too good for you. But so much +for our mirth: Now have at you in earnest. + +_L[a]_. There is enough Sir, I desire no more. + +_El. Lo_. Yes faith, wee'l have a cast at your best parts now. And then +the Devil take the worst. + +_Lady_. Pray Sir no more, I am not so much affected with your +commendations, 'tis almost dinner, I know they stay for you at the +Ordinary. + +_Elder Lo_. E'ne a short Grace, and then I am gone; You are a woman, and +the proudest that ever lov'd a Coach: the scornfullest, scurviest, and +most senceless woman; the greediest to be prais'd, and never mov'd though +it be gross and open; the most envious, that at the poor fame of anothers +face, would eat your own, and more than is your own, the paint belonging +to it: of such a self opinion, that you think none can deserve your glove: +and for your malice, you are so excellent, you might have been your +Tempters tutor: nay, never cry. + +_Lady_. Your own heart knows you wrong me: I cry for ye? + +_Elder Lo_. You shall before I leave you. + +_Lady_. Is all this spoke in earnest? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes and more as soon as I can get it out. + +_Lady_. Well out with't. + +_Elder Lo_. You are, let me see. + +_Lady_. One that has us'd you with too much respect. + +_Elder Lo_. One that hath us'd me (since you will have it so) the basest, +the most Foot-boy-like, without respect of what I was, or what you might +be by me; you have us'd me, as I would use a jade, ride him off's legs, +then turn him to the Commons; you have us'd me with discretion, and I +thank ye. If you have many more such pretty Servants, pray build an +Hospital, and when they are old, pray keep 'em for shame. + +_Lady_. I cannot think yet this is serious. + +_Elder Lo_. Will you have more on't? + +_Lady_. No faith, there's enough if it be true: +Too much by all my part; you are no Lover then? + +_Elder Lo_. No, I had rather be a Carrier. + +_Lady_. Why the Gods amend all. + +_Elder Lo_. Neither do I think there can be such a fellow found i'th' +world, to be in love with such a froward woman, if there be such, they're +mad, _Jove_ comfort 'em. Now you have all, and I as new a man, as light, +and spirited, that I feel my self clean through another creature. O 'tis +brave to be ones own man, I can see you now as I would see a Picture, sit +all day by you and never kiss your hand: hear you sing, and never fall +backward: but with as set a temper, as I would hear a Fidler, rise and +thank you. I can now keep my mony in my purse, that still was gadding out +for Scarfes and Wastcoats: and keep my hand from Mercers sheep-skins +finely. I can eat mutton now, and feast my self with my two shillings, and +can see a play for eighteen pence again: I can my Ladie. + +_Lady_. The carriage of this fellow vexes me. Sir, pray let me speak a +little private with you, I must not suffer this. + +_Elder Lo_. Ha, ha, ha, what would you with me? +You will not ravish me? Now, your set speech? + +_Lady_. Thou perjur'd man. + +_Elder Lo_. Ha, ha, ha, this is a fine _exordium_. +And why I pray you perjur'd? + +_Lady_. Did you not swear a thousand thousand times you lov'd me best of +all things? + +_Elder Lo_. I do confess it: make your best of that. + +_Lady_. Why do you say you do not then? + +_Elder Lo_. Nay I'le swear it, +And give sufficient reason, your own usage. + +_Lady_. Do you not love me then? + +_Elder Lo_. No faith. + +_Lady_. Did you ever think I lov'd you dearly? + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, but I see but rotten fruits on't. + +_Lady_. Do not denie your hand for I must kiss it, and take my last +farewell, now let me die so you be happy. + +_El. Lo_. I am too foolish: Ladie speak dear Ladie. + +_Lady_. No let me die. _She swounds._ + +_Mar_. Oh my Sister! + +_Abi_. O my Ladie help, help. + +_Mar_. Run for some _Rosalis_! + +_Elder Lo_. I have plaid the fine ass: bend her bodie, Lady, best, +dearest, worthiest Lady, hear your Servant, I am not as I shew'd: O +wretched fool, to fling away the Jewel of thy life thus. Give her more +air, see she begins to stir, sweet Mistress hear me! + +_Lady_. Is my Servant well? + +_Elder Lo_. In being yours I am so. + +_Lady_. Then I care not. + +_Elder Lo_. How do ye, reach a chair there; I confess my fault not +pardonable, in pursuing thus upon such tenderness my wilfull error; but +had I known it would have wrought thus with ye, thus strangely, not the +world had won me to it, and let not (my best Ladie) any word spoke to my +end disturb your quiet peace: for sooner shall you know a general ruine, +than my faith broken. Do not doubt this Mistris, for by my life I cannot +live without you. Come, come, you shall not grieve, rather be angrie, and +heap infliction upon me: I will suffer. O I could curse my self, pray +smile upon me. Upon my faith it was but a trick to trie you, knowing you +lov'd me dearlie, and yet strangely that you would never shew it, though +my means was all humilitie. + +_All_. Ha, ha. + +_Elder Lo_. How now? + +_Lady_. I thank you fine fool for your most fine plot; this was a subtile +one, a stiff device to have caught Dottrels with. Good senceless Sir, +could you imagine I should swound for you, and know your self to be an +arrant ass? I, a discovered one. 'Tis quit I thank you Sir. Ha, ha, ha. + +_Mar_. Take heed Sir, she may chance to swound again. + +_All_. Ha, ha, ha. + +_Abi_. Step to her Sir, see how she changes colour. + +_Elder Lo_. I'le goe to hell first, and be better welcom. +I am fool'd, I do confess it, finely fool'd, +Ladie, fool'd Madam, and I thank you for it. + +_Lady_. Faith 'tis not so much worth Sir: +But if I knew when you come next a burding, +I'le have a stronger noose to hold the Woodcock. + +_All_. Ha, ha, ha. + +_Elder Lo_. I am glad to see you merry, pray laugh on. + +_Mar_. H'ad a hard heart that could not laugh at you Sir, ha, ha, ha. + +_Lady_. Pray Sister do not laugh, you'le anger him, +And then hee'l rail like a rude Costermonger, +That School-boys had couzened of his Apples, +As loud and senceless. + +_Elder Lo_. I will not rail. + +_Mar_. Faith then let's hear him Sister. + +_Elder Lo_. Yes, you shall hear me. + +_Lady_. Shall we be the better by it then? + +_Eld. L_. No, he that makes a woman better by his words, +I'le have him Sainted: blows will not doe it. + +_Lady_. By this light hee'll beat us. + +_Elder Lo_. You do deserve it richly, +And may live to have a Beadle doe it. + +_Lady_. Now he rails. + +_Elder Lo_. Come scornfull Folly, +If this be railing, you shall hear me rail. + +_Lady_. Pray put it in good words then. + +_Elder Lo_. The worst are good enough for such a trifle, +Such a proud piece of Cobweblawn. + +_Lady_. You bite Sir? + +_Elder Lo_. I would till the bones crackt, and I had my will. + +_Mar_. We had best muzzel him, he grows mad. + +_Elder Lo_. I would 'twere lawfull in the next great sickness to have the +Dogs spared, those harmless creatures, and knock i'th' head these hot +continual plagues, women, that are more infectious. I hope the State will +think on't. + +_Lady_. Are you well Sir? + +_Mar_. He looks as though he had a grievous fit o'th' Colick. + +_Elder Lo_. Green-ginger will cure me. + +_Abig_. I'le heat a trencher for him. + +_Elder Lo_. Durty _December_ doe, Thou with a face as old as _Erra Pater_, +such a Prognosticating nose: thou thing that ten years since has left to +be a woman, outworn the expectation of a Baud; and thy dry bones can reach +at nothing now, but gords or ninepins, pray goe fetch a trencher goe. + +_Lady_. Let him alone, he's crack't. + +_Abig_. I'le see him hang'd first, is a beastly fellow to use a woman of +my breeding thus; I marry is he: would I were a man, I'de make him eat his +Knaves words! + +_Elder Lo_. Tie your she Otter up, good Lady folly, she stinks worse than +a Bear-baiting. + +_Lady_. Why will you be angry now? + +_Elder Lo_. Goe paint and purge, call in your kennel with you: you a Lady? + +_Abi_. Sirra, look to't against the quarter Sessions, if there be good +behaviour in the world, I'le have thee bound to it. + +_Elder Lo_. You must not seek it in your Ladies house then; pray send this +Ferret home, and spin good _Abigal_. And Madam, that your Ladiship may +know, in what base manner you have us'd my service, I do from this hour +hate thee heartily; and though your folly should whip you to repentance, +and waken you at length to see my wrongs, 'tis not the endeavour of your +life shall win me; not all the friends you have, intercession, nor your +submissive letters, though they spoke as many tears as words; not your +knees grown to th' ground in penitence, nor all your state, to kiss you; +nor my pardon, nor will to give you Christian burial, if you dye thus; so +farewell. When I am married and made sure, I'le come and visit you again, +and vex you Ladie. By all my hopes I'le be a torment to you, worse than a +tedious winter. I know you will recant and sue to me, but save that +labour: I'le rather love a fever and continual thirst, rather contract my +youth to drink and sacerdote upon quarrels, or take a drawn whore from an +Hospital, that time, diseases, and _Mercury_ had eaten, than to be drawn +to love you. + +_Lady_. Ha, ha, ha, pray do, but take heed though. + +_Elder Lo_. From thee, false dice, jades, Cowards, and plaguy Summers, +good Lord deliver me. [_Exit_ Elder Love. + +_Lady_. But hark you Servant, hark ye: is he gon? call him again. + +_Abigal_. Hang him Paddock. + +_Lady_. Art thou here still? flie, flie, and call my Servant, flie or ne'r +see me more. + +_Abigal_. I had rather knit again than see that rascall, but I must doe +it. [_Exit_ Abigal. + +_Lady_. I would be loth to anger him too much; what fine foolery is this +in a woman, to use those men most forwardly they love most? If I should +lose him thus, I were rightly served. I hope he's not so much himself, to +take it to th'heart: how now? will he come back? + +_Enter_ Abigal. + +_Abig_. Never, he swears, whilst he can hear men say there's any woman +living: he swore he would ha' me first. + +_Lady_. Didst thou intreat him wench? + +_Abigal_. As well as I could Madam. But this is still your way, to love +being absent, and when he's with you, laugh at him and abuse him. There's +another way if you could hit on't. + +_Lady_. Thou saist true, get me paper, pen and ink, I'le write to him, +I'de be loth he should sleep in's anger. Women are most fools when they +think th'are wisest. + [_Ex. Omnes._ + +_Musick. Enter_ Young Loveless, _and_ Widow, _going to be Married, with +them his_ Comrades. + +_Widow_. Pray Sir cast off these fellows, as unfitting for your bare +knowledge, and far more your companie: is't fit such Ragamuffins as these +are should bear the name of friends? and furnish out a civil house? ye're +to be married now, and men that love you must expect a course far from +your old carrier: if you will keep 'em, turn 'em to th' stable, and there +make 'em grooms: and yet now consider it, such beggars once set o' horse +back, you have heard will ride, how far you had best to look. + +_Captain_. Hear you, you that must be Ladie, pray content your self and +think upon your carriage soon at night, what dressing will best take your +Knight, what wastcote, what cordial will do well i'th' morning for him, +what triers have you? + +_Widow_. What do you mean Sir? + +_Capt_. Those that must switch him up: if he start well, fear not but cry +Saint _George_, and bear him hard: when you perceive his wind growes hot +and wanting, let him a little down, he's fleet, ne're doubt him, and +stands sound. + +_Widow_. Sir, you hear these fellows? + +_Young Love_. Merrie companions, wench, Merry companions. + +_Widow_. To one another let 'em be companions, but good Sir not to you: +you shall be civil and slip off these base trappings. + +_Cap_. He shall not need, my most swee[t] Ladie Grocer, if he be civil, +not your powdered Sugar, nor your Raisins shall perswade the Captain to +live a Coxcomb with him; let him be civil and eat i'th' _Arches_, and see +what will come on't. + +_Poet_. Let him be civil, doe: undo him; I, that's the next way. I will +not take (if he be civil once) two hundred pound a year to live with him; +be civil? there's a trim perswasion. + +_Capt_. If thou beest civil Knight, as _Jove_ defends it, get thee another +nose, that will be pull'd off by the angry boyes for thy conversion: the +children thou shalt get on this Civillian cannot inherit by the law, +th'are _Ethnicks_, and all thy sport meer Moral leacherie: when they are +grown, having but little in 'em, they may prove Haberdashers, or gross +Grocers, like their dear Damm there: prethee be civil Knight, in time thou +maist read to thy houshold, and be drunk once a year: this would shew +finely. + +_Young Lo_. I wonder sweet heart you will offer this, you do not +understand these Gentlemen: I will be short and pithy: I had rather cast +you off by the way of charge: these are Creatures, that nothing goes to +the maintenance of but Corn and Water. I will keep these fellows just in +the competencie of two Hens. + +_Wid_. If you can cast it so Sir, you have my liking. If they eat less, I +should not be offended: But how these Sir, can live upon so little as Corn +and Water, I am unbelieving. + +_Young Lo_. Why prethee sweet heart what's your Ale? is not that Corn and +Water, my sweet Widow? + +_Wid_. I but my sweet Knight where's the meat to this, and cloaths that +they must look for? + +_Young Lo_. In this short sentence Ale, is all included: Meat, Drink, and +Cloth; These are no ravening Footmen, no fellows, that at Ordinaries dare +eat their eighteen pence thrice out before they rise, and yet goe hungry +to play, and crack more nuts than would suffice a dozen Squirrels; besides +the din, which is damnable: I had rather rail, and be confin'd to a +_Boatmaker_, than live amongst such rascals; these are people of such a +clean discretion in their diet, of such a moderate sustenance, that they +sweat if they but smell hot meat. _Porredge_ is poison, they hate a +Kitchin as they hate a Counter, and show 'em but a Feather-bed they +swound. Ale is their eating and their drinking surely, which keeps their +bodies clear, and soluble. Bread is a binder, and for that abolisht even +in their Ale, whose lost room fills an apple, which is more airy and of +subtiler nature. The rest they take is little, and that little is little +easie: For like strict men of order, they do correct their bodies with a +bench, or a poor stubborn table; if a chimny offer it self with some few +broken rushes, they are in down: when they are sick, that's drunk, they +may have fresh straw, else they do despise these worldly pamperings. For +their poor apparel, 'tis worn out to the diet; new they seek none, and if +a man should offer, they are angrie, scarce to be reconcil'd again with +him: you shall not hear 'em ask one a cast doublet once in a year, which +is modesty befitting my poor friends: you see their _Wardrobe_, though +slender, competent: For shirts I take it, they are things worn out of +their remembrance. Lousie they will be when they list, and _mangie_, which +shows a fine variety: and then to cure 'em, a _Tanners_ limepit, which is +little charge, two dogs, and these; these two may be cur'd for 3. pence. + +_Wid_. You have half perswaded me, pray use your pleasure: and my good +friends since I do know your diet, I'le take an order, meat shall not +offend you, you shall have Ale. + +_Capt_. We ask no more, let it be, mighty Lady: and if we perish, then our +own sins on us. + +_Young Lo_. Come forward Gentlemen, to Church my boys, +when we have done, I'le give you cheer in bowles. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus Quintus. Scena Prima._ + + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless. + +_Elder Lo_. This senseless woman vexes me to th' heart, she will not from +my memory: would she were a man for one two hours, that I might beat her. +If I had been unhansome, old or jealous, 'thad been an even lay she might +have scorn'd me; but to be young, and by this light I think as proper as +the proudest; made as clean, as straight, and strong backt; means and +manners equal with the best cloth of silver Sir i'th' kingdom: But these +are things at some time of the Moon, below the cut of Canvas: sure she has +some Meeching Rascal in her house, some Hind, that she hath seen bear +(like another _Milo_) quarters of Malt upon his back, and sing with't, +Thrash all day, and i'th' evening in his stockings, strike up a Hornpipe, +and there stink two hours, and ne're a whit the worse man; these are they, +these steel chin'd Rascals that undo us all. Would I had been a Carter, or +a Coachman, I had done the deed e're this time. + +_Enter_ Servant. + +_Ser_. Sir, there's a Gentleman without would speak with you. + +_Elder Lo_. Bid him come in. + +_Enter_ Welford. + +_Wel_. By your leave Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. You are welcome, what's your will Sir? + +_Wel_. Have you forgotten me? + +_Elder Lo_. I do not much remember you. + +_Wel_. You must Sir. I am that Gentleman you pleas'd to wrong, in your +disguise, I have inquired you out. + +_Elder Lo_. I was disguised indeed Sir if I wrong'd you, pray where and +when? + +_Wel_. In such a Ladies house, I need not name her. + +_Elder Lo_. I do remember you, you seem'd to be a Sutor to that Lady? + +_Wel_. If you remember this, do not forget how scurvily you us'd me: that +was no place to quarrel in, pray you think of it; if you be honest you +dare fight with me, without more urging, else I must provoke ye. + +_Elder Lo_. Sir I dare fight, but never for a woman, I will not have her +in my cause, she's mortal, and so is not my anger: if you have brought a +nobler subject for our Swords, I am for you; in this I would be loth to +prick my Finger. And where you say I wrong'd you, 'tis so far from my +profession, that amongst my fears, to do wrong is the greatest: credit me +we have been both abused, (not by our selves, for that I hold a spleen, no +sin of malice, and may with man enough be best forgoten,) but by that +willfull, scornful piece of hatred, that much forgetful Lady: for whose +sake, if we should leave our reason, and run on upon our sense, like +_Rams_, the little world of good men would laugh at us, and despise us, +fixing upon our desperate memories the never-worn out names of Fools and +Fencers. Sir 'tis not fear, but reason makes me tell you; in this I had +rather help you Sir, than hurt you, and you shall find it, though you +throw your self into as many dangers as she offers, though you redeem her +lost name every day, and find her out new honours with your Sword, you +shall but be her mirth as I have been. + +_Wel_. I ask you mercy Sir, you have ta'ne my edge off: yet I would fain +be even with this Lady. + +_Elder Lo_. In which I'le be your helper: we are two, and they are two: +two Sisters, rich alike, only the elder has the prouder Dowry: In troth I +pity this disgrace in you, yet of mine own I am senceless: do but follow +my Counsel, and I'le pawn my spirit, we'l overreach 'em yet; the means is +this-- + +_Enter_ Servant. + +_Ser_. Sir there's a Gentlewoma[n] will needs speak with you, I cannot +keep her out, she's entred Sir. + +_Elder Lo_. It is the waiting woman, pray be not seen: sirrah hold her in +discourse a while: hark in your ear, go and dispatch it quickly, when I +come in, I'le tell you all the project. + +_Wel_. I care not which I have. [_Exit_ Welford. + +_Elder Lo_. Away, 'tis done, she must not see you: now Lady _Guiniver_ +what news with you? + +_Enter_ Abigal. + +_Abig_. Pray leave these frumps Sir, and receive this letter. + +_Elder Lo_. From whom good vanity? + +_Abig_. 'Tis from my Lady Sir: Alas good soul, she cries and takes on! + +_Elder Lo_. Do's she so good Soul? wou'd she not have a Cawdle? do's she +send you with your fine Oratory goody _Tully_ to tye me to believe again? +bring out the Cat-hounds, I'le make you take a tree Whore, then with my +tiller bring down your _Gibship_, and then have you cast, and hung up +i'th' Warren. + +_Abig_. I am no beast Sir, would you knew it. + +_Elder Lo_. Wou'd I did, for I am yet very doubtful; what will you say +now? + +_Abig_. Nothing not I. + +_Elder Lo_. Art thou a woman, and say nothing? + +_Abig_. Unless you'l hear me with more moderation, I can speak wise +enough. + +_Elder Lo_. And loud enough? will your Lady love me? + +_Abig_. It seems so by her letter, and her lamentations; but you are such +another man. + +_Elder Lo_. Not such another as I was, Mumps; nor will not be: I'le read +her fine Epistle: ha, ha, ha, is not thy Mistress mad? + +_Abig_. For you she will be, 'tis a shame you should use a poor +Gentlewoman so untowardly; she loves the ground you tread on; and you +(hard heart) because she jested with you, mean to kill her; 'tis a fine +conquest as they say. + +_Elder Lo_. Hast thou so much moisture in the Whitleather hide yet, that +thou canst cry? I wou'd have sworn thou hadst been touchwood five year +since; nay let it rain, thy face chops for a shower like a dry Dunghil. + +_Abig_. I'le not indure this Ribauldry; farewel i'th' Devils name; if my +Lady die, I'le be sworn before a Jury, thou art the cause on't. + +_Elder Lo_. Do Maukin do, deliver to your Lady from me this: I mean to see +her, if I have no other business: which before I'le want to come to her, I +mean to go seek birds nests: yet I may come too: but if I come, from this +door till I see her, will I think how to rail vildly at her; how to vex +her, and make her cry so much, that the Physician if she fall sick upon't, +shall find the cause to be want of Urine, and she remediless dye in her +Heresie: Farewell old Adage, I hope to see the Boys make Potguns on thee. + +_Abig_. Th'art a vile man, God bless my issue from thee. + +_Elder Lo_. Thou hast but one, and that's in thy left crupper, that makes +thee hobble so; you must be ground i'th' breach like a Top, you'I ne're +spin well else: Farewell Fytchock. [_Exeunt_. + +_Enter_ Lady _alone_. + +_Lady_. Is it not strange that every womans will should track out new +wayes to disturb her self? if I should call my reason to account, it +cannot answer why I keep my self from mine own wish, and stop the man I +love from his; and every hour repent again, yet still go on: I know 'tis +like a man, that wants his natural sleep, and growing dull would gladly +give the remnant of his life for two hours rest; yet through his +frowardness, will rather choose to watch another man, drowsie as he, than +take his own repose. All this I know: yet a strange peevishness and anger, +not to have the power to do things unexpected, carries me away to mine own +ruine: I had rather die sometimes than not disgrace in public him whom +people think I love, and do't with oaths, and am in earnest then: O what +are we! Men, you must answer this, that dare obey such things as we +command. How now? what newes? + +_Enter_ Abigal. + +_Abi_. Faith Madam none worth hearing. + +_Lady_. Is he not come? + +_Abi_. No truly. + +_Lady_. Nor has he writ? + +_Abigal_. Neither. I pray God you have not undone your self. + +_Lady_. Why, but what saies he? + +_Abi_. Faith he talks strangely. + +_Lady_. How strangely? + +_Abi_. First at your Letter he laught extremely. + +_Lady_. What, in contempt? + +_Abi._ He laught monstrous loud, as he would die, and when you wrote it I +think you were in no such merry mood, to provoke him that way: and having +done he cried Alas for her, and violently laught again. + +_Lady._ Did he? + +_Abi._ Yes, till I was angry. + +_Lady._ Angry, why? why wert thou angry? he did doe but well, I did +deserve it, he had been a fool, an unfit man for any one to love, had he +not laught thus at me: you were angry, that show'd your folly; I shall +love him more for that, than all that ere he did before: but said he +nothing else? + +_Abi._ Many uncertain things: he said though you had mockt him, because +you were a woman, he could wish to do you so much favour as to see you: +yet he said, he knew you rash, and was loth to offend you with the sight +of one, whom now he was bound not to leave. + +_Lady._ What one was that? + +_Abi._ I know not, but truly I do fear there is a making up there: for I +heard the servants, as I past by some, whisper such a thing: and as I came +back through the hall, there were two or three Clarks writing great +conveyances in hast, which they said were for their Mistris joynture. + +_Lady._ 'Tis very like, and fit it should be so, for he does think, and +reasonably think, that I should keep him with my idle tricks for ever ere +he be married. + +_Abi._ At last he said, it should go hard but he would see you for your +satisfaction. + +_Lady._ All we that are called Women, know as well as men, it were a far +more noble thing to grace where we are grace't, and give respect there +where we are respected: yet we practise a wilder course, and never bend +our eyes on men with pleasure, till they find the way to give us a +neglect: then we, too late, perceive the loss of what we might have had, +and dote to death. + +_Enter_ Martha. + +_Mar._ Sister, yonder's your Servant, with a Gentlewoman with him. + +_Lady._ Where? + +_Mar._ Close at the door. + +_Lady._ Alas I am undone, I fear he is be[t]roth'd, +What kind of woman is she? + +_Mar._ A most ill favoured one, with her Masque on: +And how her face should mend the rest I know not. + +_La._ But yet her mind was of a milder stuff than mine was. + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless, _and_ Welford _in Womans apparel._ + +_Lady._ Now I see him, if my heart swell not again (away thou womans +pride) so that I cannot speak a gentle word to him, let me not live. + +_Elder Lo._ By your leave here. + +_Lady._ How now, what new trick invites you hither? +Ha'you a fine device again? + +_Elder Lo._ Faith this is the finest device I have now: +How dost thou sweet heart? + +_Wel._ Why very well, so long as I may please +You my dear Lover. I nor can, nor will +Be ill when you are well, well when you are ill. + +_Elder Lo._ O thy sweet temper! what would I have given, that Lady had +been like thee: seest thou her? that face (my love) join'd with thy humble +mind, had made a wench indeed. + +_Wel._ Alas my love, what God hath done, I dare not think to mend. I use +no paint, nor any drugs of Art, my hands and face will shew it. + +_La._ Why what thing have you brought to shew us there? do you take mony +for it? + +_Elder Lo._ A Godlike thing, not to be bought for mony: 'tis my Mistris: +in whom there is no passion, nor no scorn: what I will is for law; pray +you salute her. + +_Lady._ Salute her? by this good light, I would not kiss her for half my +wealth. + +_Elder Lo._ Why? why pray you? +You shall see me do't afore you; look you. + +_Lady._ Now fie upon thee, a beast would not have don't. +I would not kiss thee of a month to gain a Kingdom. + +_Elder Lo._ Marry you shall not be troubled. + +_Lady._ Why was there ever such a _Meg_ as this? +Sure thou art mad. + +_Elder Lo._ I was mad once, when I lov'd pictures; for what are shape and +colours else, but pictures? in that tawnie hide there lies an endless mass +of vertues, when all your red and white ones want it. + +_Lady._ And this is she you are to marry, is't not? + +_Elder Lo._ Yes indeed is't. + +_Lady._ God give you joy. + +_Elder Lo._ Amen. + +_Wel._ I thank yo[u], as unknown for your good wish. +The like to you when ever you shall wed. + +_Elder Lo._ O gentle Spirit! + +_Lady._ You thank me? I pray +Keep your breath nearer you, I do not like it. + +_Wel._ I would not willingly offend at all, +Much less a Lady of your worthie parts. + +_Elder Lo._ Sweet, Sweet! + +_La._ I do not think this woman can by nature be thus, +Thus ugly; sure she's some common Strumpet, +Deform'd with exercise of sin? + +_Wel._ O Sir believe not this, for Heaven so comfort me as I am free from +foul pollution with any man; my honour ta'ne away, I am no woman. + +_Elder Lo._ Arise my dearest Soul; I do not credit it. Alas, I fear her +tender heart will break with this reproach; fie that you know no more +civility to a weak Virgin. 'Tis no matter Sweet, let her say what she +will, thou art not worse to me, and therefore not at all; be careless. + +_Wel._ For all things else I would, but for mine honor; Me thinks. + +_Elder Lo._ Alas, thine honour is not stain'd, +Is this the business that you sent for me about? + +_Mar._ Faith Sister you are much to blame, to use a woman, whatsoe're she +be, thus; I'le salute her: You are welcome hither. + +_Wel._ I humbly thank you. + +_Elder Lo._ Milde yet as the Dove, for all these injuries. Come shall we +goe, I love thee not so ill to keep thee here a jesting stock. Adue to the +worlds end. + +_Lady._ Why whither now? + +_Elder Lo._ Nay you shall never know, because you shall not find me. + +_Lady._ I pray let me speak with you. + +_Elder Lo._ 'Tis very well: come. + +_Lady._ I pray you let me speak with you. + +_Elder Lo._ Yes for another mock. + +_Lady._ By Heaven I have no mocks: good Sir a word. + +_Elder Lo._ Though you deserve not so much at my hands, yet if you be in +such earnest, I'le speak a word with you; but I beseech you be brief: for +in good faith there's a Parson and a licence stay for us i'th' Church all +this while: and you know 'tis night. + +_Lady._ Sir, give me hearing patiently, and whatsoever I have heretofore +spoke jestingly, forget: for as I hope for mercy any where, what I shall +utter now is from my heart, and as I mean. + +_Elder Lo._ Well, well, what do you mean? + +_Lady._ Was not I once your Mistress, and you my Servant? + +_Elder Lo._ O 'tis about the old matter. + +_Lady._ Nay good Sir stay me out; I would but hear you excuse your self, +why you should take this woman, and leave me. + +_Elder Lo._ Prethee why not, deserves she not as much as you? + +_Lady._ I think not, if you will look +With an indifferency upon us both. + +_Elder Lo._ Upon your faces, 'tis true: but if judiciously we shall cast +our eyes upon your minds, you are a thousand women of her in worth: she +cannot swound in jest, nor set her lover tasks, to shew her peevishness, +and his affection, nor cross what he saies, though it be Canonical. She's +a good plain wench, that will do as I will have her, and bring me lusty +Boys to throw the Sledge, and lift at Pigs of Lead: and for a Wife, she's +far beyond you: what can you do in a houshold to provide for your issue, +but lye i' bed and get 'em? your business is to dress you, and at idle +hours to eat; when she can do a thousand profitable things: she can do +pretty well in the Pastry, and knows how Pullen should be cram'd, she cuts +Cambrick at a thread, weaves Bone-lace, and quilts Balls; and what are you +good for? + +_Lady._ Admit it true, that she were far beyond me in all respects, does +that give you a licence to forswear your self? + +_Elder Lo._ Forswear my self, how? + +_Lady._ Perhaps you have forgotten the innumerable oaths you have utter'd +in disclaiming all for Wives but me: I'le not remember you: God give you +joy. + +_Elder Lo._ Nay but conceive me, the intent of oaths is ever understood: +Admit I should protest to such a friend, to see him at his Lodging to +morrow: Divines would never hold me perjur'd if I were struck blind, or he +hid him where my diligent search could not find him: so there were no +cross act of mine own in't. Can it be imagined I mean to force you to +Marriage, and to have you whether you will or no? + +_Lady._ Alas you need not. I make already tender of my self, and then you +are forsworn. + +_Elder Lo._ Some sin I see indeed must necessarily fall upon me, as +whosoever deals with Women shall never utterly avoid it: yet I would chuse +the least ill; which is to forsake you, that have done me all the abuses +of a malignant Woman, contemn'd my service, and would have held me prating +about Marriage, till I had been past getting of Children: then her that +hath forsaken her Family, and put her tender body in my hand, upon my +word-- + +_Lady._ Which of us swore you first to? + +_Elder Lo._ Why to you. + +_Lady._ Which oath is to be kept then? + +_Elder Lo._ I prethee do not urge my sins unto me, +Without I could amend 'em. + +_Lady._ Why you may by wedding me. + +_Elder Lo._ How will that satisfie my word to her? + +_Lady._ 'Tis not to be kept, and needs no satisfaction, +'Tis an error fit for repentance only. + +_Elder Lo._ Shall I live to wrong that tender hearted Virgin so? It may +not be. + +_Lady._ Why may it not be? + +_Elder Lo._ I swear I would rather marry thee than her: but yet mine +honesty? + +_Lady._ What honesty? 'Tis more preserv'd this way: +Come, by this light, servant, thou shalt, I'le kiss thee on't. + +_Elder Lo._ This kiss indeed is sweet, pray God no sin lie under it. + +_Lady._ There is no sin at all, try but another. + +_Wel._ O my heart! + +_Mar._ Help Sister, this Lady swounds. + +_Elder Lo._ How do you? + +_Wel._ Why very well, if you be so. + +_Elder Lo._ Since a quiet mind lives not in any Woman, I shall do a most +ungodly thing. Hear me one word more, which by all my hopes I will not +alter, I did make an oath when you delai'd me so, that this very night I +would be married. Now if you will go without delay, suddenly, as late as +it is, with your own Minister to your own Chapel, I'le wed you and to bed. + +_Lady._ A match dear servant. + +_Elder Lo._ For if you should forsake me now, I care not, she would not +though for all her injuries, such is her spirit. If I be not ashamed to +kiss her now I part, may I not live. + +_Wel._ I see you go, as slily as you think to steal away: yet I will pray +for you; all blessings of the world light on you two, that you may live to +be an aged pair. All curses on me if I do not speak what I do wish indeed. + +_Elder Lo._ If I can speak to purpose to her, I am a villain. + +_Lady._ Servant away. + +_Mar._ Sister, will you Marry that inconstant man? think you he will not +cast you off to morrow, to wrong a Lady thus, lookt she like dirt, 'twas +basely done. May you ne're prosper with him. + +_Wel._ Now God forbid. Alas I was unworthy, so I told him. + +_Mar._ That was your modesty, too good for him. +I would not see your wedding for a world. + +_Lady._ Chuse chuse, come _Younglove_. + + [_Exit_ La. Elder Lo. _and_ Young. + +_Mar._ Dry up your eyes forsooth, you shall not think we are all such +uncivil beasts as these. Would I knew how to give you a revenge. + +_Wel._ So would not I: No let me suffer truly, that I desire. + +_Mar._ Pray walk in with me, 'tis very late, and you shall stay all night: +your bed shall be no worse than mine; I wish I could but do you right. + +_Wel._ My humble thanks: +God grant I may but live to quit your love. [_Exeunt._ + + _Enter_ Young Loveless _and_ Savil. + +_Young Lo._ Did your Master send for me _Savil_? + +_Sav._ Yes, he did send for your worship Sir. + +_Young Lo._ Do you know the business? + +_Sav._ Alas Sir, I know nothing, nor am imployed beyond my hours of +eating. My dancing days are done Sir. + +_Young Lo._ What art thou now then? + +_Sav._ If you consider me in little, I am with your worships reverence +Sir, a Rascal: one that upon the next anger of your Brother, must raise a +sconce by the high way, and sell switches; my wife is learning now Sir, to +weave inkle. + +_Young Lo._ What dost thou mean to do with thy Children _Savil_? + +_Sav._ My eldest boy is half a Rogue already, he was born bursten, and +your worship knows, that is a pretty step to mens compassions. My youngest +boy I purpose Sir to bind for ten years to a G[ao]ler, to draw under him, +that he may shew us mercy in his function. + +_Young Lo._ Your family is quartered with discretion: you are resolved to +Cant then: where _Savil_ shall your scene lie? + +_Sav._ Beggers must be no chusers. +In every place (I take it) but the stocks. + +_Young Lo._ This is your drinking, and your whoring _Savil_, I told you of +it, but your heart was hardened. + +_Sav._ 'Tis true, you were the first that told me of it I do remember yet +in tears, you told me you would have Whores, and in that passion Sir, you +broke out thus; Thou miserable man, repent, and brew three Strikes more in +a Hogshead. 'Tis noon e're we be drunk now, and the time can tarry for no +man. + +_Young Lo._ Y'are grown a bitter Gentleman. I see misery can clear your +head better than Mustard, I'le be a sutor for your Keys again Sir. + +_Sav._ Will you but be so gracious to me Sir? I shall be bound. + +_Young Lo._ You shall Sir +To your bunch again, or I'le miss foully. + + _Enter_ Morecraft. + +_Mor._ Save you Gentleman, save you. + +_Young Lo._ Now Polecat, what young Rabets nest have you to draw? + +_Mor._ Come, prethee be familiar Knight. + +_Young Lo._ Away Fox, I'le send for Terriers for you. + +_Mor._ Thou art wide yet: I'le keep thee companie. + +_Young Lo._ I am about some business; Indentures, +If ye follow me I'le beat you: take heed, +A[s] I live I'le cancel your Coxcomb. + +_Mor._ Thou art cozen'd now, I am no usurer: +What poor fellow's this? + +_Savil._ I am poor indeed Sir. + +_Mor._ Give him mony Knight. + +_Young Lo._ Do you begin the offering. + +_Mor._ There poor fellow, here's an Angel for thee. + +_Young Lo._ Art thou in earnest _Morecraft_? + +_Mor._ Yes faith Knight, I'le follow thy example: thou hadst land and +thousands, thou spendst, and flungst away, and yet it flows in double: I +purchased, wrung, and wierdraw'd, for my wealth, lost, and was cozen'd: +for which I make a vow, to trie all the waies above ground, but I'le find +a constant means to riches without curses. + +_Young Lo._ I am glad of your conversion Master _Morecraft_: +Y'are in a fair course, pray pursue it still. + +_Mor._ Come, we are all gallants now, I'le keep thee company; +Here honest fellow, for this Gentlemans sake, there's two Angels more for +thee. + +_Savil._ God quite you Sir, and keep you long in this mind. + +_Young Lo._ Wilt thou persevere? + +_Mor._ Till I have a penny. I have brave cloathes a making, and two +horses; canst thou not help me to a match Knight, I'le lay a thousand +pound upon my crop-ear. + +_Yo. Lo._ Foot, this is stranger than an _Africk_ monster, There will be +no more talk of the _Cleve_ wars Whilst this lasts, come, I'le put thee +into blood. + +_Sav._ Would all his damn'd tribe were as tender hearted. I beseech you +let this Gentleman join with you in the recovery of my Keyes; I like his +good beginning Sir, the whilst I'le pray for both your worships. + +_Young Lo._ He shall Sir. + +_Mor._ Shall we goe noble Knight? I would fain be acquainted. + +_Young Lo._ I'le be your Servant Sir. [_Exeunt._ + +_Enter_ Elder Loveless, _and_ Lady. + +_Elder Lo._ Faith my sweet Lady, I have caught you now, maugre your +subtilties, and fine devices, be coy again now. + +_Lady._ Prethee sweet-heart tell true. + +_Elder Lo._ By this light, by all the pleasures I have had this night, by +your lost maidenhead, you are cozened meerly. I have cast beyond your wit. +That Gentleman is your retainer _Welford_. + +_Lady._ It cannot be so. + +_Elder Lo._ Your Sister has found it so, or I mistake, mark how she +blushes when you see her next. Ha, ha, ha, I shall not travel now, ha, ha, +ha. + +_Lady._ Prethee sweet heart be quiet, thou hast angred me at heart. + +_Elder Lo._ I'le please you soon again. + +_La._ Welford? + +_Elder Lo._ I _Welford_, hee's a young handsome fellow, well bred and +landed, your Sister can instruct you in his good parts, better than I by +this time. + +_Lady._ Uds foot am I fetcht over thus? + +_Elder Lo._ Yes i'faith. +And over shall be fetcht again, never fear it. + +_Lady._ I must be patient, though it torture me: +You have got the Sun Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ And the Moon too, in which I'le be the man. + +_Lady._ But had I known this, had I but surmiz'd it, you should have +hunted three trains more, before you had come to th' course, you should +have hankt o'th' bridle, Sir, i'faith. + +_El. Lo._ I knew it, and min'd with you, and so blew you up. +Now you may see the Gentlewoman: stand close. + +_Enter_ Welford, _and_ Martha. + +_Mar._ For Gods sake Sir, be private in this business, +You have undone me else. O God, what have I done? + +_Wel._ No harm I warrant thee. + +_Mar._ How shall I look upon my friends again? +With what face? + +_Wel._ Why e'ne with that: 'tis a good one, thou canst not find a better: +look upon all the faces thou shall see there, and you shall find 'em +smooth still, fair still, sweet still, and to your thinking honest; those +have done as much as you have yet, or dare doe Mistris, and yet they keep +no stir. + +_Mar._ Good Sir goe in, and put your womans cloaths on: +If you be seen thus, I am lost for ever. + +_Wel._ I'le watch you for that Mistris: I am no fool, here will I tarry +till the house be up and witness with me. + +_Mar._ Good dear friend goe in. + +_Wel._ To bed again if you please, else I am fixt here till there be +notice taken what I am, and what I have done: if you could juggle me into +my woman-hood again, and so cog me out of your company, all this would be +forsworn, and I again an _asinego_, as your Sister left me. No, I'le have +it known and publisht; then if you'le be a whore, forsake me and be +asham'd: and when you can hold no longer, marry some cast _Cleve Captain_, +and sell Bottle-ale. + +_Mar._ I dare not stay Sir, use me modestly, I am your wife. + +_Wel._ Goe in, I'le make up all. + +_Elder Lo._ I'le be a witness of your naked truth Sir: this is the +Gentlewoman, prethee look upon him, that is he that made me break my faith +sweet: but thank your Sister, she hath soder'd it. + +_Lady._ What a dull ass was I, I could not see this wencher from a wench: +twenty to one, if I had been but tender like my Sister, he had served me +such a slippery trick too. + +_Wel._ Twenty to one I had. + +_Elder Lo._ I would have watcht you Sir, by your good patience, for +ferreting in my ground. + +_Lady._ You have been with my Sister. + +_Wel._ Yes to bring. + +_Elder Lo._ An heir into the world he means. + +_Lady._ There is no chafing now. + +_Wel._ I have had my part on't: I have been chaft this three hours, that's +the least, I am reasonable cool now. + +_Lady._ Cannot you fare well, but you must cry roast-meat? + +_Wel._ He that fares well, and will not bless the founders, is either +surfeited, or ill taught, Lady, for mine own part, I have found so sweet a +diet, I can commend it, though I cannot spare it. + +_Elder Lo._ How like you this dish, _Welford_, I made a supper on't, and +fed so heartily, I could not sleep. + +_Lady._ By this light, had I but scented out your [train], ye had slept +with a bare pillow in your arms and kist that, or else the bed-post, for +any wife ye had got this twelve-month yet: I would have vext you more than +a try'd post-horse; and been longer bearing, than ever after-game at +_Irish_ was. Lord, that I were unmarried again. + +_Elder Lo._ Lady I would not undertake ye, were you again a _Haggard_, for +the best cast of four Ladys i'th' Kingdom: you were ever tickle-footed, +and would not truss round. + +_Wel._ Is she fast? + +_Elder Lo._ She was all night lockt here boy. + +_Wel._ Then you may lure her without fear of losing: take off her Cranes. +You have a delicate Gentlewoman to your Sister: Lord what a prettie furie +she was in, when she perceived I was a man: but I thank God I satisfied +her scruple, without the Parson o'th' town. + +_Elder Lo._ What did ye? + +_Wel._ Madam, can you tell what we did? + +_Elder Lo._ She has a shrewd guess at it I see it by her. + +_Lady._ Well you may mock us: but my large Gentlewoman, my _Mary Ambre_, +had I but seen into you, you should have had another bed-fellow, fitter a +great deal for your itch. + +_Wel._ I thank you Lady, me thought it was well, +You are so curious. + +_Enter_ Young Loveless, _his_ Lady, Morecraft, Savil, _and two +Servingmen._ + +_El. Lo._ Get on your doublet, here comes my Brother. + +_Yo. Lo._ Good morrow Brother, and all good to your Lady. + +_Mor._ God save you and good morrow to you all. + +_El. Lo._ Good morrow. Here's a poor brother of yours. + +_Lady._ Fie how this shames me. + +_Mor._ Prethee good fellow help me to a cup of beer. + +_Ser._ I will Sir. + +_Yo. Lo._ Brother what makes you here? will this Lady do? +Will she? is she not nettl'd still? + +_Elder Lo._ No I have cur'd her. +Mr. _Welford_, pray know this Gentleman is my Brother. + +_Wel._ Sir I shall long to love him. + +_Yo. Lo._ I shall not be your debter Sir. But how is't with you? + +_Elder Lo._ As well as may be man: I am married: your new acquaintance +hath her Sister, and all's well. + +_Yo. Lo._ I am glad on't. Now my prettie Lady Sister, +How do you find my Brother? + +_Lady._ Almost as wild as you are. + +_Yo. Lo._ He will make the better husband: you have tried him? + +_Lady._ Against my will Sir. + +_Yo. Lo._ Hee'l make your will amends soon, do not doubt it. +But Sir I must intreat you to be better known +To this converted _Jew_ here. + +_Ser._ Here's Beer for you Sir. + +_Mor._ And here's for you an Angel: +Pray buy no Land, 'twill never prosper Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ How's this? + +_Yo. Lo._ Bless you, and then I'le tell: He's turn'd Gallant. + +_Elder Lo._ Gallant? + +_Yo. Lo._ I Gallant, and is now called, _Cutting Morecraft_: +The reason I'le inform you at more leisure. + +_Wel._ O good Sir let me know him presently. + +_Young Lo._ You shall hug one another. + +_Mor._ Sir I must keep you company. + +_Elder Lo._ And reason. + +_Young Lo._ Cutting _Morecraft_ faces about, I must present another. + +_Mor._ As many as you will Sir, I am for 'em. + +_Wel._ Sir I shall do you service. + +_Mor._ I shall look for't in good faith Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ Prethee good sweet heart kiss him. + +_Lady._ Who, that fellow? + +_Savil._ Sir will it please you to remember me: my keys good Sir. + +_Young Lo._ I'le doe it presently. + +_El. Lo._ Come thou shalt kiss him for our sport sake. + +_La._ Let him come on then; and do you hear, do not instruct me in these +tricks, for you may repent it. + +_El. Lo._ That at my peril. Lusty Mr. _Morecraft_, +Here is a Lady would salute you. + +_Mor._ She shall not lose her longing Sir: what is she? + +_Elder Lo._ My wife Sir. + +_Mor._ She must be then my Mistres. + +_Lady._ Must I Sir? + +_Elder Lo._ O yes, you must. + +_Mor._ And you must take this ring, a poor pawn +Of some fiftie pound. + +_El Lo._ Take it by any means, 'tis lawfull prize. + +_Lady._ Sir I shall call you servant. + +_Mor._ I shall be proud on't: what fellow's that? + +_Young Lo._ My Ladies Coachman. + +_Mor._ There's something, (my friend) for you to buy whips, +And for you Sir, and you Sir. + +_Elder Lo._ Under a miracle this is the strangest +I ever heard of. + +_Mor._ What, shall we play, or drink? what shall we doe? +Who will hunt with me for a hundred pounds? + +_Wel._ Stranger and Stranger! +Sir you shall find sport after a day or two. + +_Young Lo._ Sir I have a sute unto you +Concerning your old servant _Savil_. + +_Elder Lo._ O, for his keys, I know it. + +_Savil._ Now Sir, strike in. + +_Mor._ Sir I must have you grant me. + +_Elder Lo._ 'Tis done Sir, take your keys again: +But hark you _Savil_, leave off the motions +Of the flesh, and be honest, or else you shall graze again: +I'le try you once more. + +_Savil._ If ever I be taken drunk, or whoring, +Take off the biggest key i'th' bunch, and open +My head with it Sir: I humbly thank your worships. + +_Elder Lo._ Nay then I see we must keep holiday. + _Enter_ Roger, _and_ Abigal. +Here's the last couple in hell. + +_Roger._ Joy be among you all. + +_Lady._ Why how now Sir, what is the meaning of this emblem? + +_Roger._ Marriage an't like your worship. + +_Lady._ Are you married? + +_Roger._ As well as the next Priest could doe it, Madam. + +_Elder Lo._ I think the sign's in _Gemini_, here's such coupling. + +_Wel._ Sir _Roger_, what will you take to lie from your sweet-heart to +night? + +_Roger._ Not the best benefice in your worships gift Sir. + +_Wel._ A whorson, how he swells. + +_Young Lo._ How many times to night Sir _Roger_? + +_Roger._ Sir you grow scurrilous: +What I shall do, I shall do: I shall not need your help. + +_Young Lo._ For horse flesh _Roger_. + +_Elder Lo._ Come prethee be not angry, 'tis a day +Given wholly to our mirth. + +_Lady._ It shall be so Sir: Sir _Roger_ and his Bride, +We shall intreat to be at our charge. + +_El. Lo._ _Welford_ get you to the Church: by this light, +You shall not lie with her again, till y'are married. + +_Wel._ I am gone. + +_Mor._ To every Bride I dedicate this day +Six healths a piece, and it shall goe hard, +But every one a Jewell: Come be mad boys. + +_El. Lo._ Th'art in a good beginning: come who leads? +Sir _Roger_, you shall have the _Van_: lead the way: +Would every dogged wench had such a day. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +(A) The | Scornful | Ladie. | A Comedie. | As it was Acted (with great +applause) by the children of Her Majesties | Revels in the Blacke | +Fryers. +Written by | Fra. Beaumont and Jo. Fletcher, Gent. | London | Printed for +Myles Partrich, and are to be sold | at his Shop at the George neere St +Dunstans | Church in Fleet-streete. 1616. + +(B) The | Scorneful | Ladie. | A Comedie. | As it was now lately Acted +(with | great applause) by the Kings | Majesties servants, at the | Blacke +Fryers. | Written by | Fra. Beaumont, and Jo. Fletcher, | Gentlemen. | +London, | Printed for M.P. and are to be sold by | Thomas Jones, at the +blacke Raven, in | the Strand. 1625. + +(C) The | Scornefull | Ladie. | A Comedie. | As it was now lately Acted +(with great | applause) by the Kings Majesties Servants, | at the +Blacke-Fryers. +| Written | By Fran: Beaumont, and Jo: Fletcher, | Gentlemen. | The +third Edition. | London. | Printed by B.A. and T.F. for T. Jones, and are +to be sold at his | Shop in St. Dunstans Church-yard in Fleet-street. | +1630. + +(D) The | Scornfull | Ladie. | A Comedy. | As it was now lately Acted +(with great | applause) by the Kings Majesties Servants, | at the +Blacke-Fryers. +| Written by Francis Beaymont, and John Fletcher, Gentlemen. | The +fourth Edition. | London, | Printed by A.M. 1635. + +(E) The | Scornfull | Lady. | A Comedy. | As it was now lately Acted +(with great | applause) by the Kings Majesties Servants, [at the +Blacke-Fryers. +| Written by Francis Beaumont, and John Fletcher. Gentlemen. | +The fift Edition. | London, | Printed by M.P. for Robert Wilson, and are +to be sold at | his shop in Holborne at Grayes-Inne Gate. | 1639. + +(F) The | Scornfull | Lady. | A Comedy. | As it was Acted (with great +applause) by | the late Kings Majesties Servants, | at the Black-Fryers. +| Written by Francis Beaumont, and John Fletcher. Gentlemen. | The sixt +Edition, Corrected and | amended. | London: | Printed for Humphrey +Moseley, and are to be sold at his Shop | at the Princes Armes in St. +Pauls Church-yard. 1651. +(The British Museum copy lacks the printer's device on the title-page, +possessed by other copies seen; it varies also slightly in spelling etc.) + +(G) The | Scornful | Lady: | A | Comedy. | As it is now Acted at the | +Theater Royal, | by | His Majesties Servants. +| Written by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher Gent. | The Seventh +Edition. | London: | Printed by A. Maxwell and R. Roberts, for D.N. and +T.C. and are | to be sold by Simon Neale, at the Three Pidgeons in | +Bedford-street in Covent-Garden, 1677. + +p. 231, +l. 5. A omits list of Persons Represented in the Play. + B--E print the list on the back of the title-page, under the + heading 'The Actors are these.' + In F and G the same list is printed on a separate page following + the title-page. + G] The Names of the Actors. +l. 8. B and C] the eldest. D--G] the elder. + +p. 232, +l. 1. A] a Userer. +l. 4. A] Savill make the boate stay. + B _prints_ '_Savil._ Make the boat stay,' as if the rest of the + speech were spoken by Savil. + C--G for '_Savil_' print '_Yo. Lo._,' thus giving the words to + Young Loveless. +l. 9. E and G] at home marry. +l. 10. A--E and G] your countrey. + F] your own country. + A and B] then to travell for diseases, and returne following + the Court in a nightcap, and die without issue. +l. 15. Here and throughout the scene for 'Younglove' D--G] Abigall. +l. 16. A--C] Mistres. D] Mistrisse. E--G] Mistris. +l. 22. A and B] for me. +l. 33. E--G _omit_] Exit. + +p. 233, +l. 2. G] acted Loves. +l. 3. A, B and E--G] murtherers. +l. 6. A and B] that shall be. +l. 12. A--G] woman. +l. 25. A--G _omit_] and. +l. 31. F] out there. +l. 35. D--G for _Younglove_] Abigall. + +p. 234, +l. 5. F] time of place. +l. 16. E--G _omit_] Yes. +l. 19. E--G] that can. +l. 27. F] deadfull. +l. 37. G] and put. +l. 39. A and B] with you for laughter. + +p. 235, +l. 10. A and B] and so you satisfied. +l. 17. B] doeth. +l. 28. A] Hipochrists. E and F] Hipocrasse. G] Hippocrass. +l. 34. A and B] his yeere. +l. 31. G] said she. + +p. 236, +l. 9. B] doeth. + D and E] with you. +l. 17. G _omits one_] that. +l. 19. G] I'le live. + +p. 237, +l. 1. A and B] with three guards. +l. 4. D] wesse. E--G] wisse. +l. 10. D--G] Abigall. +l. 14. E--G] happily. +l. 21. A--E] may call. +l. 25. A--G] as on others. + A--G _omit_] that. +l. 27. A--G] A my credit. +l. 30. A and B] beginnings. +l. 31. G] maid. +l. 32. E and G] bed. +l. 33. D--G] doe you not. +l. 35. D--G] Abigall. + +p. 238, +l. 2. A and B] rid hard. +l. 25. A] other woemen the housholds of. B--G] of the households. + G] of as good. +l. 28. F and G] tho not so coy. + D--G] Abigall. +l. 36. A--G] God. + +p. 239, +l. 7. G] Call'd. +l. 17. A] your names. +l. 32. A] the weomen. +l. 33. A and B] an needlesse. + E--G _omit_] a. + F] her comes. + G _and sometimes_ F] here comes. + +p. 240, +l. 4. E--G _omit_] of. + F and G] I do inculcate Divine Homilies. +l. 13. G] man neglect. +l. 16. A and B] I pray ye. + A--G] and whilst. +l. 19. B] your Lay. +l. 20. C--F] ingenuous. +l. 23. A] I shall beate. +l. 25. A--E] forget one, who. F and G] forget then who. +l. 34. A and B] how Hoppes goe. + +p. 241, +l. 6. A--G] to keep. +l. 14. F and G] like a Gentlemen. +l. 15. F _omits_] me. +l. 23. D--G] Yet, that. +l. 25. A--E _omit_] of. + F and G] Ile here no more, this is. +l. 30. A--E and G] comes. +l. 39. A] Gent. + +p. 242, +l. 6. A--G _omit_] etc. +l. 7. B--G] help all. +l. 22. A and B] warre, that cries. +l. 27. G] has knockt. +l. 32. D--G _omit_] even. + A--G] a conscience. +l. 34. A--E _omit_] he. + +p. 243, +l. 6. E--G] pound. +l. 11. A and B] We will have nobody talke wisely neither. + F] Will you not. +l. 17. A--C] ath Coram. +l. 25. F and G _omit_] that. +l. 27. F and G] sir, to expound it. +l. 28. 2nd Folio _misprints_] iuterpretation. +l. 37. A and B _omit_] Sir. +l. 40. F _omits_] keep. + +p. 244, +l. 1. F and G _add after_ part] Savil. +l. 6. D--G _add_] Finis Actus Primus. + F and G _add_] _Omnes._ O brave Loveless! (F=Lovelace) + Exeunt omnes. +l. 12. F and G _omit_] Lady. +l. 13. F and G] that complaint. +l. 28. F and G] it loveth. +l. 34. A] premised. + +p. 245, +l. 11. D--G] reprov'd him. +l. 22. F and G] hath made. +l. 23. A and B _misprint_] Maria. +l. 25. F and G] with a. +l. 27. A and B] He's fast. +l. 39. F and G _omit_] Sir. + +p. 246, +l. 4. A, B and G] Gentlewoman. +l. 23. G _omits_] indeed. +l. 26. F and G] smile hath. +l. 28. A--E and G] cropping off. +l. 34. E and G] meditations. +l. 36. F and G] and experience the. + E--G] collection. +l. 39. F and G] thus to. + +p. 248, +ll. 3 and 4. G] and fornication. +l. 24. A and G] set. + +p. 249, +l. 10. A--C, E--G] appeares. +l. 11. A] drown. +l. 12. G] Sir Aeneas. +l. 34. A and B] Gentlewoman. + +p. 250, +l. 15. A--G] a Gods name. + +p. 251, +l. 11. A and B _add_] Drinke to my friend Captaine. +l. 14. A, B, F and G _add at end_] Sir. +l. 15. A--G] cursie. F] a tittle. +l. 16. G] would strive, Sir. F] I will strive, Sir. +l. 22. Second Folio _misprints_] Youn. +l. 24. A] to feede more fishes. +l. 30. F and G] pray you let. +l. 34. A] a ful rouse. +ll. 36 and 37. D and F] I bear. +l. 39. A--G] a your knees. + +p. 252, +l. 12. A] finde. +l. 32. F and G _for_ Capt. (character) _read_ + Sav. _and add_ 'Let's in and drink and give' etc. + +p. 253, +l. 5. F and G] be you your. +l. 27. D--F] love chamber. + G] dares. +l. 34. A--C] will stoop. +l. 35. A] feede ill. +l. 36. A--G] which for I was his wife and gave way to. +l. 39. F] in patience of. + +p. 254, +l. 1. D and E] gossip too. +l. 3. E and F] from whence. +l. 9. F _misprints_] crown'd at. +l. 21. E--G] have the money. +l. 23. F and G] provided my wise. +l. 26. F] Here's here. +ll. 30 and 31. F and G] for thine. +l. 32. F _omits_] well. + +p. 255, +l. 1. A] the faith. +l. 11. D--G] mony fit for. +l. 13. A--D, F and G] afore. +l. 14. G _omits_] all. +ll. 18 and 19. D--G] turne up. +l. 20. G] Ship. +l. 22. G] poor man. +l. 26. D, F and G] against the. +l. 28. A--G] thy staffe of office there, thy pen and Ink-horne. + Noble boy. +l. 29. A] sed. +ll. 30 and 31. A--G] thy seat. +l. 34. F and G] men immortal. +l. 37. A] that shall. +l. 40. A] What meane they Captaine. + +p. 256, +l. 8. F and G] pounds. +l. 9. F and G] by this hand. +l. 13. F and G] There is six Angels in earnest. +l. 17. A] all in. +l. 25. F and G _omit_] so be it. +l. 35. A and B] at charge. +l. 40. A--G _add_] Finis Actus Secundi. + +p. 257, +l. 2. A _omits_] and drops her glove. +l. 3. A--C] tels. +l. 8. A, B and D--G] Lenvoy. +l. 16. F and G] No, Sir. + +p. 258, +l. 10. D, E and G] come here to speak with. +l. 18. F and G] I say I. +l. 26. A _misprints_] ralkt. + F and G] with the. +l. 29. F and G] Troth guess. +l. 33. F] Gentlewomen. +l. 36. A and B] But one, I am. + C] or Woman. + +p. 259, +l. 1. A] shall not you. +l. 16. A--C and E--G] no such. +l. 19. A--C and E--G] tender Sir, whose gentle bloud. +l. 29. A _omits_] be. +l. 31. A and G] as he. +l. 34. A _omits_] They draw. +l. 36. F and G _omit_] Jesus. + +p. 260, +l. 4. A and B _omit_] Why. +l. 11. F] but none so. +l. 26. A]wilde. + B, C and E--G] vild. +l. 31. F and G] sword. +l. 33. B and G] a hazard. + +p. 261, +l. 1. A and B] which is prone inough. + C--G] are prone. +l. 5. A] anger lost. +l. 10. F and G] least share in. +l. 25. D, F and G] are you. +l. 33. A and B] self from such temptations. + G] self from temptations. +l. 34. A--D, F and G] Pray leape. + G] the matter. + C] whether would. +l. 38. A--C, E and G] should. + +p. 262, +l. 6. F and G _omit_] a. +l. 11. A--C] see. +l. 12. E] Of any. +l. 20. F and G] his ruin. +l. 27. C _omits_] him. + E--G] with these. +l. 37. E--G] leave them to others. +l. 40. C] works a mine. + +p. 263, +l. 13. A] certaine. +l. 18. E--G] spoken. +l. 19. F] ask you. +l. 20. E--G] forward. +l. 32. G] hard-hearted. +l. 35. F and G] me to do. + +p. 264, +l. 4. E--G] could redeem. +l. 10. D, F and G] This. +l. 24. A] you have so. +l. 27. E and G] By this light. + +p. 265, +l. 10. F] by your troth. +l. 11. A] could. +l. 15. C] cold meats. +l. 23. F and G] we would. +l. 27. F and G] that thou art here. +l. 29. F and G] use thee. +l. 33. A and B] offending. +l. 34. F and G] Thou art nothing ... for love's sake. + +p. 266, +l. 3. G _omits_] I hope. +l. 13. F and G] thy face. +l. 14. A--G _omit_] for. +ll. 21 and 22. F and G] companion. +l. 25. A] amable. +l. 38. G _adds at end_] I hope. + +p. 267, +l. 4. A, B and D--F] Don Diego, Ile. +l. 11. A, C and E] saies. +l. 15. E--G] you may. +l. 20. E] wine here. F and G _add before_ All] Mr. Morecraft. +l. 21. A--G] Sir. _Savill_? +l. 31. G] and yet they. +l. 33. F _omits_] pray. +l. 36. A--C and E--G] God a gold. 2nd Folio _misprints_] expouud. + +p. 268, +l. 3. A] not you. +l. 7. A and B] is much is much. +l. 18. G] in tenements of. +l. 22. F and G] I shall not dare to. +l. 23. A] By blithe. +l. 33. A and B] of satten. +l. 37. A--G] necessary. + D--G] and consuming. + +p. 269, +l. 10. 2nd Folio _misprints_] nor. +l. 16. A--G] a' my knowledge. +l. 20. F and G] the. F] Morall. +l. 27. B and D--G] worst on's. +l. 31. A] your complement. +l. 34. F and G] paid back again. + +p. 270, +l. 4. F and G] we have liv'd. +ll. 4 and 5. F and G] be the hour that. +l. 14. A _misprints_] Yo. Lo. +l. 15. F and G] A thirsty. +l. 17. F _omits_] Sir. +l. 20. A] raile. +l. 24. D--G] to'th. + +p. 271, +l. 1. A] hee's your. +l. 4. A--G] fall. +l. 19. A--G] who you left me too. +l. 20. F _omits_] for. +l. 23. F and G] be leaping in. +l. 24. E--G] nights. +l. 25. F _omits_] my. +l. 27. E] thirtie. +l. 34. B] you fellow. +l. 37. A--G] Cresses sir to coole. +l. 39. A--C] fornications. + +p. 272, +l. 3. E--G] get no. +l. 4. A--G _add_] Finis Actus tertii. +l. 6. A--G] solus. +l. 8. A] thee to? to what scurvy Fortune. +l. 9. E] of Noblemen. +l. 15. B and E--G] profit. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Eccle. +l. 16. F] eats out youth. +l. 22. 2nd Folio _misprints_] abolishth, is. +l. 25. D and E] in his. +l. 33. A] neglectingly. +l. 34. A] broke. + +p. 273, +l. 9. F and G] abused like me. A--F] Dalida. +l. 11. F and G] you may dilate. +l. 27. F and G] could not expound. +l. 28. A] and then at prayers once (out of the stinking stir you put me +in). +l. 29. A] mine owne royall [F and G _also add_ royal] issue. +l. 34. D and E] for you. +l. 35 B] and thus. +l. 36. A, F and G] contrition, as a Father saith. +l. 39. A--G] Comfets. +l. 40. A, F and G] then a long chapter with a pedigree. + +p. 274, +l. 3. A] lovely. +l. 4. F and G] when due time. +l. 8. F and G] but have. +l. 14. A--E] cunny. +l. 17. A _omits_] in. F and G] the hanging. +l. 19. A, F and G] more with the great Booke of Martyrs. +l. 23. F and G _add after_ beloved] Abigail. +l. 31. E--G] chop up. + +p. 275, +l. 3. A and B] wise Sir. +l. 7. A, B, F and G] make. +l. 14. F and G] thank Heaven. +l. 19. E--G _omit_] Lord. +l. 22. A and B] some sow. l. 23. F and G] brought forth. +l. 26. F and G] will not. +l. 29. E] a cleere. E--G] would take. +l. 39. A] and yet would. + +p. 276, +l. 3. A--F] errant. +l. 5. A--F] pray be. +l. 9. A] the gods (B=God) knowes. C] God the knowes. F and G] Heaven +knows. +l. 15. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Lo. +l. 18. A _omits_] so. +l. 19. A--C _omit_] for. +l. 38. E--G] that has. + +p. 277, +l. 1. A and B] turne in to. +l. 4. A _omits_] pray. +l. 13. G] have you. +l. 14. G] light, as spirited. +l. 21. G] sheeps. +l. 22. G] with two. +l. 23. F and G _add at end_] I can. +l. 33. F and G] your use of. +l. 37. A, B, D, F and G] now then. + +p. 278, +l. 7. A--G] Rosasolis. +l. 16. G] in presuming thus. +l. 19. E--G] to any end. +l. 23. D, E and G] heap affliction. B--D, F and G] on me. +l. 28. F and G _add_] ha. +l. 33. F and G _for_ a _read_] ha'. +l. 37. E--G _omit_] Sir. + +p. 279, +l. 1. G] no so. +l. 2. A] know. +l. 6. F _omits_] that. +ll. 6--8. D and E _omit_] at you ...not laugh + _and runs on the remainder of_ Lady's _speech as part of_ Mar.'s. + F and G _omit_] Sir ...not laugh. +l. 7. A--C _omit one_] 'ha.' +l. 15. A and B] for it then. +l. 20. E--G] And you may. +l. 28. G] crack. +l. 36. A--C] fit ath. +l. 38. B] will you cure. + +p. 280, +l. 5. A and C] Let him alone, 'is crackt. +l. 6. D--G] he's a beastly. + A and B] to loose. +l. 7. A--G] is a. +ll. 9 and 10. G] foh (soh F) she stinks. +ll. 19 and 20. F and G] ye have ...hate ye. +l. 23. A and B] in intercession. D--G] make intercession. +l. 25. A] not all. +l. 26. F and G] and will. +l. 32. A and B] safer dote. +l. 33. F] disease. + +p. 281, +l. 8. A--C] I hope 'is not. +l. 16. A] There is. +l. 28. A] Carrire. + D--G] carriage. +l. 29. A--C, F and G] now I. +l. 30. A--G] a horse back. +l. 31. A--C and E--G] to looke to. + +p. 282, +l. 3. A--C] 'is fleet. +l. 10. 2nd Folio _misprints_] sweed. +l. 11. F] not your. + A--E] Reasens. + F and G] your rotten Reasons. +l. 13. F and G] civil and feed. +l. 16. A--G] pounds. +l. 18. A, F and G] defend. + +p. 283, +l. 2. F and G] Ordinaries do eat. +l. 3. F and G] to a play. +l. 6. E] Bootmaker. + F and G] to a bear-baiting. +l. 13. A, C--G] aire. +l. 15. A] as little. +l. 18. E] if they may. +ll. 22 and 23. F and G] ask me. +l. 23. A and B] a modesty. +l. 24. A--F] Wardrope. +l. 28. E--G] to dogs. +l. 36 E] cheate. + A--G] _add_] Finis Actus Quarti. + +p. 284, +l. 27. F and G] the Gentleman. +l. 31. A and B] house Sir. + +p. 285, +l. 5. B] for your. +l. 10. A--D] be lest. + E--G] be left. +l. 15. E] never-worme. +l. 25. F and G] the elder hath. +l. 31. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Gentlewomau. + +p. 286, +l. 7. G] goodly. +l. 8. A and D] beliefe. +l. 10. E--G] you cas'd. +l. 29. A--G] in thy. +l. 30. G _omits_] I. +l. 31. F] years. + +p. 287, +l. 1. F and G] vilely. +l. 3. A and D--G] shall want uryne to finde the cause by: and she. + B and C] shall want uryne finde the cause be. +l. 14. A and B] I stoppe. + +p. 288, +l. 7. E _omits_] did. + F and G] he does. +l. 25. A and B _omit_] be. +l. 34. F and G] till death. + +p. 289, +l. 1. 2nd Folio _misprints_] berroth'd. + E and G _add at beginning_] Ah. +l. 5. A and B] mind is. +l. 6. G] womens. +l. 22. F] not any. +l. 26. F and G _omit_] Godlike. +l. 27. A and B] passions. +l. 28. F and G] is her law. +l. 39. D--G] and colour. + +p. 290, +l. 7. 2nd Folio _misprints_] yon. +l. 7. F and G] you, though unknown. +l. 18. F and G] Heaven to comfort. +l. 34. A and B] Milde still as. +l. 37. B] ends. +l. 40. F and G] never find. + +p. 291, +l. 7. A and B] I will. +l. 12. G] spoken. +l. 25. A--F] judicially. +l. 27. G] off her. + A--C] sound. + G] her Love. + F] lovers. +l. 33. A, B and E--G] a bed. +l. 37. D] at a third. + F and G _add after_ Balls] admirably. + +p. 292, +l. 2. A, F and G] forgot. +ll. 4 and 5. F and G _omit_] I'll not ... you joy. +l. 9. G] there was. +l. 10. A, B, F and G] meant. + G _omits_] you. +l. 19. G] rather then. +l. 20. A, B and D--F] forsooke. +l. 34. A, E and G] I had rather. + +p. 293, +l. 4. D--G _add after_ so] a most ungodly thing. +ll. 5 and 6. D--G _omit_] Since a ... ungodly thing. +l. 30. D and F _omit_] and Young. +l. 32. A and B] all uncivill, all such beasts as these. + C] are uncivill, all such beasts. + D and E] wee are uncivill, as such beasts as these. + F and G] all uncivil. Would, etc. + +p. 294, +l. 7. G] are you. +l. 11. A--C] learning new sir. + E--G _omit_] Sir. +l. 14. A] rouge. +l. 16. A] capassions. +l. 17. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Goaler. +l. 25. F and G] indeed I do. + +p. 295, +l. 8. 2nd Folio _misprints_] A I. +l. 27. F and G] Heaven quite. +1. 31. F and G] thou help. +l. 34. F and G _omit_] the Cleve. +l. 36. F] all this. + +p. 296, +l. 30. F, _some copies_] hankt it. +l. 34. G] O Heaven. + +p. 297, +l. 1. F and G] with this. +l. 12. F and G] who I. +l. 17. B, F and G] hold out. +l. 22. A] witnes to. +ll. 26 and 27. F and G] this Welford from. + +p. 298, +l. 5. 2nd Folio _misprints_] turn. +l. 8. A, B, D, F and G] tyr'd. +l. 12. A] sore Ladies. + D--G _omit_] four. +l. 19. F and G] I think I. +l. 23. A] I see by her. +l. 38. A and E] make. + +p. 299, +l. 2. E--G] he is. +l. 10. A and B] A will. C] I will. +l. 13. F and G] make you well. +l. 15. G] unconverted. +l. 20. F and G] tell you. +l. 26. B] yon. +l. 34. F and G] Who's. + +p. 300, +l. 8. F and G] must wear. +l. 9. G _omits_] Of. +l. 19. A and B] pound. +l. 22. E and F _omit_] a. +l. 29. G] you wall graze. +l. 30. F and G] once again. +l. 33. F and G] your Worship. +l. 38. G] Why now. + +p. 301, +l. 3. F and G] As fast as. +l. 11. C] helps. +l. 17. A and B _omit_] the. +l. 24. F and G] and lead. +l. 25. A--G _add_] Finis. + +[During the passing of these sheets through the press, a copy of the +quarto named G (1677, 'The Seventh Edition') has been found in England by +the writer of this note. Its existence has been ignored by every previous +editor of Beaumont and Fletcher, and, apparently, by English +bibliographers, the folio of 1679 being presumed to be 'Ed. 7.' The +knowledge that a copy existed in America led to a fruitless search for it +in English libraries, until accident, a few months ago, brought one to +light in time to enable a collation of its text to be included in the +above notes. It will be seen that many of the readings are of considerable +interest. + +A.R.W.] + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Scornful Lady +by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE SCORNFUL LADY *** + +***** This file should be named 12110.txt or 12110.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/1/1/12110/ + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell and PG Distributed +Proofreaders + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. 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