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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/12098-0.txt b/12098-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..a48f657 --- /dev/null +++ b/12098-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,6784 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12098 *** + +FRANCIS BEAUMONT + +Born 1584 +Died 1616 + +JOHN FLETCHER + +Born 1579 +Died 1625 + + + + +THE ELDER BROTHER + +THE SPANISH CURATE + +WIT WITHOUT MONEY + +BEGGARS BUSH + +THE HUMOUROUS LIEUTENANT + +THE FAITHFUL SHEPHERDESS + + + +THE TEXT EDITED BY + +ARNOLD GLOVER, M.A. + +OF TRINITY COLLEGE AND THE INNER TEMPLE + +AND + +A.R. WALLER, M.A. + +OF PETERHOUSE + + + +CAMBRIDGE: at the University Press 1906 + + +CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY PRESS WAREHOUSE, +C.F. CLAY, MANAGER. +London: FETTER LANE, E.C. +Glasgow: 50, WELLINGTON STREET. +Leipzig: F.A. BROCKHAUS. +New York: THE MACMILLAN COMPANY. +Bombay and Calcutta: MACMILLAN AND CO., LTD. + +[_All Rights reserved._] + + + + + +NOTE: + + +The text of the present volume was passed for press by Arnold Glover and +some progress had been made in his lifetime in the collection of the +material given in the Appendix. Mrs. Glover's help has again been most +valuable in the completion of the work. + +_The Elder Brother_ is printed entirely in prose in the Second Folio, and +I have therefore printed in the Appendix the play in verse, as it appeared +in the First Quarto. The case is an interesting one, and readers will be +glad, I think, to have both forms in the same volume. + +I have not concerned myself with passages in the Second Folio in prose +which have since been printed as verse. On the whole I agree with a recent +critic who characterises as 'vexatious' the 'later practice of printing +much manifest prose as verse, each post-seventeenth century editor +apparently making it a point of honour to discover metre where no one had +found it before, and where no one with an ear can find it now.' + +I am glad to have had the opportunity of seeing the 1625 manuscript of +_Demetrius and Enanthe_, the play first printed in a somewhat mutilated +form in the First Folio of 1647, where it is called _The Humorous +Lieutenant_. It is stated in the _Dictionary of National Biography_ (Vol. +XIX, p. 306) that this MS. is preserved in the Dyce Library but the +statement is incorrect. The MS. has never been a part of the Dyce +collection. It was printed by Dyce in 1830 and after that date it rested +for many years in obscurity. To Mrs. Glover is due the credit for having +traced it to its present home. For help in this search our thanks are due +to Lord Stanley of Alderley, to W.R.M. Wynne, Esq., of Peniarth, Towyn, +Merioneth (whose father owned the MS. and left a note in his copy of +Dyce's reprint that he had given the MS. to his "old friend the late W. +Ormsby Gore, Esq., M.P. for North Shropshire") and to Lord Harlech, the +grandson of Mr. Ormsby Gore. Lord Harlech re-discovered the MS. in his +library at Brogyntyn, Oswestry, and he has very kindly permitted a +thorough examination of it. Dyce's 1830 publication is described as a +reprint "verbatim et literatim," but it has little claim to be so called. +The punctuation is altered throughout, the spelling is altered in scores +of words and though the actual verbal differences between the original MS. +and Dyce's reprint of it are not very many, yet these occur here and there +throughout the play. Later editors, therefore, relying upon Dyce, have +been led into recording as 'MS.' readings variations which do not occur in +the MS. A brief description of the MS. will be found in the Appendix, pp. +509-18, together with the passages omitted from the Folios and a complete +record of the verbal variations. The present collation omits readings +incorrectly given by Dyce. + +The third volume of this text will be ready immediately and good progress +is being made with the remaining volumes. When the publication of the +entire text is completed it is intended to print, by way of a commentary +thereon, a companion volume containing a series of explanatory notes upon +the text, a glossary and whatsoever supplementary material may be deemed +to be of use to the student or to the general reader. + +A.R. WALLER. +CAMBRIDGE, +30 _January_, 1906. + + + + +THE ELDER BROTHER, +A COMEDY. + + +Persons Represented in the Play. + +Lewis, _a Lord_. +Miramont, _a Gentleman_. +Brisac, _a Justice, Brother to_ Miramont. +Charles, _a Scholar_, \ _Sons to_ +Eustace, _a Courtier_, / Brisac. +Egremont, \ _two Courtiers, friends to_ +Cowsy, / Eustace. +Andrew, _Servant to_ Charles. +Cook, \ _Servants to_ +Butler, / Brisac. +Priest. +Notary. +Servants. +Officers. + +Angellina, _Daughter to_ Lewis. +Sylvia, _her Woman_. +Lilly, _Wife to_ Andrew. +Ladies. + + +_LECTORI._ + +_Wouldst thou all Wit, all Comick Art survey? +Read here and wonder;_ Fletcher _writ the Play._ + + + + +_ACTUS PRIMUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, _and_ Sylvia. + +_Lewis._ Nay, I must walk you farther. + +_Ang._ I am tir'd, Sir, and ne'er shall foot it home. + +_Lew._ 'Tis for your health; the want of exercise takes from your +Beauties, and sloth dries up your sweetness: That you are my only Daughter +and my Heir, is granted; and you in thankfulness must needs acknowledge, +you ever find me an indulgent Father, and open handed. + +_Ang._ Nor can you tax me, Sir, I hope, for want of duty to deserve these +favours from you. + +_Lew._ No, my _Angellina_, I love and cherish thy obedience to me, which +my care to advance thee shall confirm: all that I aim at, is, to win thee +from the practice of an idle foolish state, us'd by great Women, who think +any labour (though in the service of themselves) a blemish to their fair +fortunes. + +_Ang._ Make me understand, Sir, what 'tis you point at. + +_Lew._ At the custom, how Virgins of wealthy Families waste their youth; +after a long sleep, when you wake, your Woman presents your Breakfast, +then you sleep again, then rise, and being trimm'd up by other hands, +y'are led to Dinner, and that ended, either to Cards or to your Couch, (as +if you were born without motion) after this to Supper, and then to Bed: +and so your life runs round without variety or action, Daughter. + +_Syl._ Here's a learned Lecture! + +_Lew._ Fro[m] this idleness, Diseases, both in body and in mind, grow +strong upon you; where a stirring nature, with wholesome exercise, guards +both from danger: I'd have thee rise with the Sun, walk, dance, or hunt, +visit the Groves and Springs, and learn the vertue of Plants and Simples: +Do this moderately, and thou shalt not, with eating Chalk, or Coles, +Leather and Oatmeal, and such other trash, fall into the Green-sickness. + +_Syl._ With your pardon (were you but pleas'd to minister it) I could +prescribe a Remedy for my Lady's health, and her delight too, far +transcending those your Lordship but now mention'd. + +_Lew._ What is it, _Sylvia_? + +_Syl._ What is't! a noble Husband; in that word, a noble Husband, all +content of Woman is wholly comprehended; He will rouse her, as you say, +with the Sun; and so pipe to her, as she will dance, ne'er doubt it; and +hunt with her, upon occasion, until both be weary; and then the knowledge +of your Plants and Simples, as I take it, were superfluous. A loving, and, +but add to it, a gamesome Bedfellow, being the sure Physician. + +_Lew_. Well said, Wench. + +_Ang_. And who gave you Commission to deliver your Verdict, Minion? + +_Syl_. I deserve a Fee, and not a frown, dear Madam: I but speak her +thoughts, my Lord, and what her modesty refuses to give voice to. Shew no +mercy to a Maidenhead of fourteen, but off with't: let her lose no time, +Sir; Fathers that deny their Daughters lawful pleasures, when ripe for +them, in some kinds edge their appetites to taste of the fruit that is +forbidden. + +_Lew_. 'Tis well urg'd, and I approve it: No more blushing, Girl, thy +Woman hath spoke truth, and so prevented what I meant to move to thee. +There dwells near us a Gentleman of bloud, Monsieur _Brisac_, of a fair +Estate, six thousand Crowns _per annum_, the happy Father of two hopeful +Sons, of different breeding; the Elder, a meer Scholar; the younger, a +quaint Courtier. + +_Ang_. Sir, I know them by publick fame, though yet I never saw them; and +that oppos'd antipathy between their various dispositions, renders them +the general discourse and argument; one part inclining to the Scholar +_Charles_, the other side preferring _Eustace_, as a man compleat in +Courtship. + +_Lew_. And which way (if of these two you were to chuse a Husband) doth +your affection sway you? + +_Ang_. To be plain Sir, (since you will teach me boldness) as they are +simply themselves, to neither: let a Courtier be never so exact, let him +be bless'd with all parts that yield him to a Virgin gracious; if he +depend on others, and stand not on his own bottoms, though he have the +means to bring his Mistris to a Masque, or by conveyance from some great +ones lips, to taste such favour from the King: or grant he purchase +precedency in the Court, to be sworn a servant Extraordinary to the Queen; +nay, though he live in expectation of some huge preferment in reversion; +if he want a present fortune, at the best those are but glorious dreams, +and only yield him a happiness in _posse_, not in _esse_; nor can they +fetch him Silks from the Mercer, nor discharge a Tailors Bill, nor in full +plenty (which still preserves a quiet Bed at home) maintain a Family. + +_Lew_. Aptly consider'd, and to my wish: But what's thy censure of the +Scholar? + +_Ang._ Troth (if he be nothing else) as of the Courtier, all his Songs and +Sonnets, his Anagrams, Acrosticks, Epigrams, his deep and Philosophical +Discourse of Nature's hidden Secrets, makes not up a perfect Husband; he +can hardly borrow the Stars of the Celestial Crown to make me a Tire for +my Head, nor _Charles's Wain_ for a Coach, nor _Ganymede_ for a Page, nor +a rich Gown from _Juno's_ Wardrobe, nor would I lie in (for I despair not +once to be a Mother) under Heaven's spangled Canopy, or Banquet my Guests +and Gossips with imagin'd Nectar; pure _Orleans_ would do better: No, no, +Father, though I could be well pleas'd to have my Husband a Courtier, and +a Scholar, young, and valiant; these are but gawdy nothings, if there be +not something to make a substance. + +_Lew._ And what is that? + +_Ang._ A full Estate, and that said, I've said all; and get me such a one +with these Additions, farwel Virginity, and welcome Wedlock. + +_Lew._ But where is such a one to be met with, Daughter? A black Swan is +more common; you may wear grey Tresses e're we find him. + +_Ang._ I am not so punctual in all Ceremonies, I will 'bate two or three +of these good parts, before I'le dwell too long upon the choice. + +_Syl._ Only, my Lord, remember, that he be rich and active, for without +these, the others yield no relish, but these perfect. You must bear with +small faults, Madam. + +_Lew._ Merry Wench, and it becomes you well; I'le to _Brisac_, and try +what may be done; i'th' mean time home, and feast thy thoughts with +th'pleasures of a Bride. + +_Syl._ Thoughts are but airy food, Sir, let her taste them. + + + + +ACTUS I. SCENA II. + + +_Enter_ Andrew, Cook, _and_ Butler. + +_And._ Unload part of the Library, and make room for th'other dozen of +Carts; I'le straight be with you. + +_Cook._ Why, hath he more Books? + +_And._ More than ten Marts send over. + +_But._ And can he tell their names? + +_And._ Their names! he has 'em as perfect as his _Pater Noster_; but +that's nothing, h'as read them over leaf by leaf three thousand times; but +here's the wonder, though their weight would sink a Spanish Carrock, +without other Ballast, he carrieth them all in his head, and yet he walks +upright. + +_But._ Surely he has a strong brain. + +_And._ If all thy pipes of Wine were fill'd with Books, made of the Barks +of Trees, or Mysteries writ in old moth-eaten Vellam, he would sip thy +Cellar quite dry, and still be thirsty: Then for's Diet, he eats and +digests more Volumes at a meal, than there would be Larks (though the Sky +should fall) devoured in a month in _Paris_. Yet fear not Sons o'the +Buttery and Kitchin, though his learn'd stomach cannot be appeas'd; he'll +seldom trouble you, his knowing stomach contemns your Black-jacks, +_Butler_, and your Flagons; and _Cook_, thy Boil'd, thy Rost, thy Bak'd. + +_Cook._ How liveth he? + +_And._ Not as other men do, few Princes fare like him; he breaks his fast +with _Aristotle_, dines with _Tully_, takes his watering with the _Muses_, +sups with _Livy_, then walks a turn or two in _Via Lactea_, and (after six +hours conference with the Stars) sleeps with old _Erra Pater_. + +_But._ This is admirable. + +_And._ I'le tell you more hereafter. Here's my old Master, and another old +ignorant Elder; I'le upon 'em. + +_Enter_ Brisac, Lewis. + +_Bri._ What, _Andrew_? welcome; where's my _Charles_? speak, _Andrew_, +where did'st thou leave thy Master? + +_And._ Contemplating the number of the Sands in the Highway, and from +that, purposes to make a Judgment of the remainder in the Sea: he is, Sir, +in serious study, and will lose no minute, nor out of's pace to knowledge. + +_Lew._ This is strange. + +_And._ Yet he hath sent his duty, Sir, before him in this fair Manuscript. + +_Bri._ What have we here? Pot-hooks and Andirons! + +_And._ I much pity you, it is the Syrian Character, or the Arabick. Would +you have it said, so great and deep a Scholar as Mr _Charles_ is, should +ask blessing in any Christian Language? Were it Greek I could interpret +for you, but indeed I'm gone no farther. + +_Bri._ And in Greek you can lie with your smug Wife _Lilly_. + +_And_. If I keep her from your French Dialect, as I hope I shall, Sir; +however she is your Landress, she shall put you to the charge of no more +Soap than usual for th'washing of your Sheets. + +_Bri_. Take in the Knave, and let him eat. + +_And_. And drink too, Sir. + +_Bri_. And drink too Sir, and see your Masters Chamber ready for him. + +_But_. Come, Dr _Andrew_, without Disputation thou shalt Commence i'the +Cellar. + +_And_. I had rather Commence on a cold Bak'd meat. + +_Cook_. Thou shalt ha't, Boy. + +_Bri_. Good Monsieur _Lewis_, I esteem my self much honour'd in your clear +intent, to joyn our ancient Families, and make them one; and 'twill take +from my age and cares, to live and see what you have purpos'd but in act, +of which your visit at this present is a hopeful Omen; I each minute +expecting the arrival of my Sons; I have not wrong'd their Birth for want +of Means and Education, to shape them to that course each was addicted; +and therefore that we may proceed discreetly, since what's concluded +rashly seldom prospers, you first shall take a strict perusal of them, and +then from your allowance, your fair Daughter m[a]y fashion her affection. + +_Lew_. Monsieur _Brisac_, you offer fair and nobly, and I'le meet you in +the same line of Honour; and I hope, being blest but with one Daughter, I +shall not appear impertinently curious, though with my utmost vigilance +and study, I labour to bestow her to her worth: Let others speak her form, +and future Fortune from me descending to her; I in that sit down with +silence. + +_Bri_. You may, my Lord, securely, since Fame aloud proclaimeth her +perfections, commanding all mens tongues to sing her praises; should I say +more, you well might censure me (what yet I never was) a Flatterer. What +trampling's that without of Horses? + +_Enter_ Butler. + +_But_. Sir, my young Masters are newly alighted. + +_Bri_. Sir, now observe their several dispositions. + +_Enter_ Charles. + +_Char_. Bid my Supsiser carry my Hackney to the Butt'ry, and give him his +Bever; it is a civil and sober Beast, and will drink moderately; and that +done, turn him into the Quadrangle. + +_Bri_. He cannot out of his University tone. + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Eust_. Lackey, take care our Coursers be well rubb'd, and cloath'd; they +have out-stripp'd the Wind in speed. + +_Lew_. I marry, Sir, there's metal in this young Fellow! What a Sheep's +look his elder Brother has! + +_Char_. Your blessing, Sir. + +_Bri_. Rise, _Charles_, thou hast it. + +_Eust_. Sir, though it be unusual in the Court, (since 'tis the Courtiers +garb) I bend my knee, and do expert what follows. + +_Bri_. Courtly begg'd. My blessing, take it. + +_Eust. (to Lew.)_ Your Lordship's vow'd adorer. What a thing this Brother +is! yet I'le vouchsafe him the new Italian shrug-- +How clownishly the Book-worm does return it! + +_Char_. I'm glad ye are well. [_Reads_. + +_Eust_. Pray you be happy in the knowledge of this pair of accomplish'd +Monsieurs; they are Gallants that have seen both Tropicks. + +_Bri_. I embrace their love. + +_Egr_. Which we'll repay with servulating. + +_Cow_. And will report your bounty in the Court. + +_Bri_. I pray you make deserving use on't first. _Eustace_, give +entertainment to your Friends; what's in my house is theirs. + +_Eust_. Which we'll make use of; let's warm our brains with half a dozen +Healths, and then hang cold discourse, for we'll speak Fire-works. [_Ex_. + +_Lew._ What, at his Book already? + +_Bri._ Fie, fie, _Charles_, no hour of interruption? + +_Char._ Plato differs from Socrates in this. + +_Bri._ Come, lay them by; let them agree at leisure. + +_Char._ Man's life, Sir, being so short, and then the way that leads unto +the knowledge of our selves, so long and tedious, each minute should be +precious. + +_Bri._ In our care to manage worldly business, you must part with this +Bookish contemplation, and prepare your self for action; to thrive in this +Age is held the blame of Learning: You must study to know what part of my +Land's good for the Plough, and what for Pasture; how to buy and sell to +the best advantage; how to cure my Oxen when they're o'er-grown with +labour. + +_Char._ I may do this from what I've read, Sir; for, what concerns +Tillage, who better can deliver it than _Virgil_ in his _Georgicks_? and +to cure your Herds, his _Bucolicks_ is a Masterpiece; but when he does +describe the Commonwealth of Bees, their industry, and knowledge of the +herbs from which they gather Honey, with their care to place it with +_decorum_ in the Hive; their Government among themselves, their order in +going forth, and coming loaden home; their obedience to their King, and +his rewards to such as labour, with his punishments only inflicted on the +slothful Drone; I'm ravish'd with it, and there reap my Harvest, and there +receive the gain my Cattle bring me, and there find Wax and Honey. + +_Bri._ And grow rich in your imagination; heyday, heyday! _Georgicks_, +_Bucolicks_, and Bees! art mad? + +_Char._ No, Sir, the knowledge of these guards me from it. + +_Bri._ But can you find among your bundle of Books (and put in all your +Dictionaries that speak all Tongues) what pleasure they enjoy, that do +embrace a well-shap'd wealthy Bride? Answer me that. + +_Char._ 'Tis frequent, Sir, in Story, there I read of all kind of virtuous +and vitious women; the antient Spartan Dames, and Roman Ladies, their +Beauties and Deformities; and when I light upon a _Portia_ or _Cornelia_, +crown'd with still flourishing leaves of truth and goodness; with such a +feeling I peruse their Fortunes, as if I then had liv'd, and freely tasted +their ravishing sweetness; at the present loving the whole Sex for their +goodness and example. But on the contrary, when I look on a +_Clytemnestra_, or a _Tullia_; the first bath'd in her Husband[s] bloud; +the latter, without a touch of piety, driving on her Chariot o'er her +Father's breathless Trunk, horrour invades my faculties; and comparing the +multitudes o'th' guilty, with the few that did die Innocents, I detest and +loath 'em as Ignorance or Atheism. + +_Bri_. You resolve then ne'er to make payment of the debt you owe me. + +_Char._ What debt, good Sir? + +_Bri_. A debt I paid my Father when I begat thee, and made him a +Grandsire, which I expect. from you. + +_Char_. The Children, Sir, which I will leave to all posterity, begot and +brought up by my painful Studies, shall be my living Issue. + +_Bri_. Very well; and I shall have a general Collection of all the +quiddits from _Adam_ to this time, to be my Grandchild. + +_Char_. And such a one, I hope, Sir, as shall not shame the Family. + +_Bri_. Nor will you take care of my Estate? + +_Char_. But in my wishes; for know, Sir, that the wings on which my Soul +is mounted, have long since born her too high, to stoop to any Prey that +soars not upwards. Sordid and dunghill minds, compos'd of earth, in that +gross Element fix all their happiness; but purer Spirits, purged and +refin'd, shake off that clog of humane frailty; give me leave t'enjoy my +self; that place that does contain my Books (the best Compa[n]ions) is to +me a glorious Court, where hourly I converse with the old Sages and +Philosophers, and sometimes for variety, I confer with Kings and Emperors, +and weigh their Counsels, calling their Victories (if unjustly got) unto a +strict accompt, and in my phancy, deface their ill-plac'd Statues; can I +then part with such constant pleasures, to embrace uncertain vanities? No, +be it your care t'augment your heap of wealth; it shall be mine t'increase +in knowledge--Lights there for my Study-- [_Exit._ + +_Bri_. Was ever man that had reason thus transported from all sense and +feeling of his proper good? It vexes me, and if I found not comfort in my +young _Eustace_, I might well conclude my name were at a period! + +_Lew_. He is indeed, Sir, the surer base to build on. + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy, _and_ Andrew. + +_Bri_. Eustace. + +_Eust_. Sir. + +_Bri_. Your ear in private. + +_And_. I suspect my Master has found harsh welcome, he's gone supperless +into his Study; could I find out the cause, it may be borrowing of his +Books, or so, I shall be satisfied. + +_Eust_. My duty shall, Sir, take any form you please; and in your motion +to have me married, you cut off all dangers the violent heats of youth +might bear me to. + +_Lew_. It is well answer'd. + +_Eust_. Nor shall you, my Lord, for your fair Daughter ever find just +cause to mourn your choice of me; the name of Husband, nor the authority +it carries in it, shall ever teach me to forget to be, as I am now, her +Servant, and your Lordship's; and but that modesty forbids, that I should +sound the Trumpet of my own deserts, I could say, my choice manners have +been such, as render me lov'd and remarkable to the Princes of the Blood, + +_Cow_. Nay, to the King. + +_Egre_. Nay to the King and Council. + +_And_. These are Court-admirers, and ever echo him that bears the Bag. +Though I be dull-ey'd, I see through this jugling. + +_Eust_. Then for my hopes. + +_Cow_. Nay certainties. + +_Eust_. They stand as fair as any mans. What can there fall in compass of +her wishes, which she shall not be suddenly possess'd of? Loves she +Titles? by the grace and favour of my Princely Friends, I am what she +would have me. + +_Bri_. He speaks well, and I believe him. + +_Lew_. I could wish I did so. Pray you a word, Sir. He's a proper +Gentleman, and promises nothing, but what is possible. So far I will go +with you; nay, I add, he hath won much upon me; and were he but one thing +that his Brother is, the bargain were soon struck up. + +_Bri_. What's that, my Lord? + +_Lew_. The Heir. + +_And_. Which he is not, and I trust never shall be. + +_Bri._ Come, that shall breed no difference; you see _Charles_ has given +o'er the world; I'le undertake, and with much ease, to buy his Birth-right +of him for a Dry-fat of new Books; nor shall my state alone make way for +him, but my elder Brothers, who being issueless, to advance our name, I +doubt not will add his. Your resolution? + +_Lew._ I'le first acquaint my Daughter with the proceedings; on these +terms I am yours, as she shall be, make you no scruple. Get the Writings +ready, she shall be tractable; to morrow we will hold a second conference. +Farewell noble _Eustace_; and you brave Gallants. + +_Eust._ Full increase of honour wait ever on your Lordship. + +_And._ The Gout rather, and a perpetual Meagrim. + +_Bri._ You see, _Eustace_, how I travel to possess you of a Fortune you +were not born to; be you worthy of it: I'le furnish you for a Suitor: +visit her, and prosper in't. + +_Eust._ She's mine, Sir, fear it not: in all my travels, I ne'er met a +Virgin that could resist my Courtship. If it take now, we're made for +ever, and will revel it. [_Ex._ + +_And._ In tough Welsh Parsly, which, in our vulgar Tongue, is strong +Hempen Halters; my poor Master cozen'd, and I a looker on! If we have +studi'd our Majors and our Minors, Antecedents and Consequents, to be +concluded Coxcombs, w'have made a fair hand on't. I am glad I have found +out all their plots, and their Conspiracies; this shall t'old Monsieur +_Miramont_, one, that though he cannot read a Proclamation, yet dotes on +Learning, and loves my Master _Charles_ for being a Scholar; I hear he's +coming hither, I shall meet him; and if he be that old, rough, testy blade +he always us'd to be, I'le ring him such a peal, as shall go near to shake +their Belroom, peradventure beat'm, for he is fire and flax; and so have +at him. [_Exit._ + + + + +_ACTUS SE[C]UNDUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Miramount, Brisac. + +_Mir._ Nay, Brother, Brother. + +_Bri._ Pray, Sir, be not moved, I meddle with no business but mine own, +and in mine own 'tis reason I should govern. + +_Mir._ But how to govern then, and understand, Sir, and be as wise as +y'are hasty, though you be my Brother, and from one bloud sprung, I must +tell ye heartily and home too. + +_Bri._ What, Sir? + +_Mir._ What I grieve to find, you are a fool, and an old fool, and that's +two. + +_Bri._ We'll part 'em, if you please. + +_Mir._ No, they're entail'd to 'em. Seek to deprive an honest noble +Spirit, your eldest Son, Sir, and your very Image, (but he's so like you, +that he fares the worse for't) because he loves his Book, and dotes on +that, and only studies how to know things excellent, above the reach of +such course Brains as yours, such muddy Fancies, that never will know +farther than when to cut your Vines, and cozen Merchants, and choak your +hidebound Tenants with musty Harvests. + +_Bri._ You go too fast. + +_Mir._ I'am not come to my pace yet. Because h'has made his study all his +pleasure, and is retir'd into his Contemplation, not medling with the dirt +and chaff of Nature, that makes the spirit of the mind mud too; therefore +must he be flung from his inheritance? must he be dispossess'd, and +Monsieur Gingle-boy his younger Brother-- + +_Bri._ You forget your self. + +_Mir._ Because h'has been at Court, and learn'd new Tongues, and how to +speak a tedious piece of nothing; to vary his face as Sea-men do their +compass, to worship Images of gold and silver, and fall before the She- +calves of the season; therefore must he jump into his Brother's Land? + +_Bri._ Have you done yet, and have you spoke enough in praise of Learning, +Sir? + +_Mir._ Never enough. + +_Bri._ But, Brother, do you know what Learning is? + +_Mir._ It is not to be a Justice of Peace as you are, and palter out your +time i'th' penal Statutes. To hear the curious Tenets controverted between +a Protestant Constable, and Jesuite Cobler; to pick Natural Philosophy out +of Bawdry, when your Worship's pleas'd to correctifie a Lady; nor 'tis not +the main Moral of blind Justice, (which is deep Learning) when your +Worships Tenants bring a light cause, and heavy Hens before ye, both fat +and feeble, a Goose or Pig; and then you'll sit like equity with both +hands weighing indifferently the state o'th' question. These are your +Quodlibets, but no Learning, Brother. + +_Bri._ You are so parlously in love with Learning, that I'd be glad to +know what you understand, Brother; I'm sure you have read all _Aristotle_. + +_Mir._ Faith no; but I believe I have a learned faith, Sir, and that's it +makes a Gentleman of my sort; though I can speak no Greek, I love the +sound of 't, it goes so thund'ring as it conjur'd Devils: _Charles_ speaks +it loftily, and if thou wert a man, or had'st but ever heard of _Homers +Iliads_, _Hesiod_, and the Greek Poets, thou wouldst run mad, and hang thy +self for joy th' hadst such a Gentleman to be thy Son: O he has read such +things to me! + +_Bri._ And you do understand 'em, Brother? + +_Mir._ I tell thee, No, that's not material; the sound's sufficient to +confirm an honest man: Good Brother _Brisac_, does your young Courtier, +that wears the fine Cloaths, and is the excellent Gentleman, (the +Traveller, the Soldier, as you think too) understand any other power than +his Tailor? or knows what motion is more than an Horse-race? What the Moon +means, but to light him home from taverns? or the comfort of the Sun is, +but to wear slash'd clothes in? And must this piece of ignorance be popt +up, because 't can kiss the hand, and cry, sweet Lady? Say it had been at +_Rome_, and seen the Reliques, drunk your _Verdea_ Wine, and rid at +_Naples_, brought home a Box of _Venice_ Treacle with it, to cure young +Wenches that have eaten Ashes: Must this thing therefore?-- + +_Bri._ Yes Sir, this thing must; I will not trust my Land to one so +sotted, so grown like a Disease unto his Study; he that will fling off all +occasions and cares, to make him understand what state is, and how to +govern it, must, by that reason, be flung himself aside from managing. My +younger Boy is a fine Gentleman. + +_Mir._ He is an Ass, a piece of Ginger-bread, gilt over to please foolish +Girls puppets. + +_Bri._ You are my elder Brother. + +_Mir._ So I had need, and have an elder Wit, thou'dst shame us all else. +Go to, I say, _Charles_ shall inherit. + +_Bri._ I say, no, unless _Charles_ had a Soul to understand it; can he +manage six thousand Crowns a year out of the Metaphysics? or can all his +learn'd Astronomy look to my Vineyards? Can the drunken old Poets make up +my Vines? (I know they can drink 'em) or your excellent Humanists sell 'em +the Merchants for my best advantage? Can History cut my Hay, or get my +Corn in? And can Geometry vend it in the Market? Shall I have my sheep +kept with a _Jacobs-staff_ now? I wonder you will magnifie this madman, +you that are old, and should understand. + +_Mir._ Should, say'st thou? thou monstrous piece of ignorance in Office! +thou that hast no more knowledge than thy Clerk infuses, thy dapper Clerk, +larded with ends of Latin, and he no more than custom of offences. Thou +unreprieveable Dunce! that thy formal Bandstrings, thy Ring, nor pomander +cannot expiate for, dost thou tell me I should? I'le pose thy Worship in +thine own Library and Almanack, which thou art daily poring on, to pick +out days of iniquity to cozen fools in, and Full Moons to cut Cattle: dost +thou taint me, that have run over Story, Poetry, Humanity? + +_Bri._ As a cold nipping shadow does o'er ears of Corn, and leave 'em +blasted, put up your anger, what I'll do, I'll do. + +_Mir._ Thou shalt not do. + +_Bri._ I will. + +_Mir._ Thou art an Ass then, a dull old tedious Ass; th' art ten times +worse, and of less credit than Dunce _Hollingshead_ the Englishman, that +writes of Shows and Sheriffs. + +_Enter_ Lewis. + +_Bri._ Well, take your pleasure, here's one I must talk with. + +_Lew._ Good-day, Sir. + +_Bri._ Fair to you, Sir. + +_Lew._ May I speak w'ye? + +_Bri._ With all my heart, I was waiting on your goodness. + +_Lew._ Good morrow, Monsieur _Miramont_. + +_Mir._ O sweet Sir, keep your good morrow to cool your Worships pottage; a +couple of the worlds fools met together to raise up dirt and dunghils. + +_Lew._ Are they drawn? + +_Bri._ They shall be ready, Sir, within these two hours; and _Charles_ set +his hand. + +_Lew._ 'Tis necessary; for he being a joint purchaser, though your Estate +was got by your own industry, unless he seal to the Conveyance, it can be +of no validity. + +_Bri._ He shall be ready and do it willingly. + +_Mir._ He shall be hang'd first. + +_Bri._ I hope your Daughter likes. + +_Lew._ She loves him well, Sir; young _Eustace_ is a bait to catch a +Woman, a budding spritely Fellow; y'are resolv'd then, that all shall pass +from _Charles_? + +_Bri._ All, all, he's nothing; a bunch of Books shall be his Patrimony, +and more than he can manage too. + +_Lew._ Will your Brother pass over his Land to your son _Eustace_? you +know he has no Heir. + +_Mir._ He will be flead first, and Horse-collars made of's skin. + +_Bri._ Let him alone, a wilful man; my Estate shall serve the turn, Sir. +And how does your Daughter? + +_Lew._ Ready for the hour, and like a blushing Rose that stays the +pulling. + +_Bri._ To morrow then's the day. + +_Lew._ Why then to morrow I'll bring the Girl; get you the Writings ready. + +_Mir._ But hark you, Monsieur, have you the virtuous conscience to help to +rob an Heir, an Elder Brother, of that which Nature and the Law flings on +him? You were your Father's eldest Son, I take it, and had his Land; would +you had had his wit too, or his discretion, to consider nobly, what 'tis +to deal unworthily in these things; you'll say he's none of yours, he's +his Son; and he will say, he is no Son to inherit above a shelf of Books: +Why did he get him? why was he brought up to write and read, and know +these things? why was he not like his Father, a dumb Justice? a flat dull +piece of phlegm, shap'd like a man, a reverend Idol in a piece of Arras? +Can you lay disobedience, want of manners, or any capital crime to his +charge? + +_Lew._ I do not, nor do weigh your words, they bite not me, Sir; this man +must answer. + +_Bri._ I have don't already, and given sufficient reason to secure me: and +so good morrow, Brother, to your patience. + +_Lew._ Good morrow, Monsieur _Miramont_. + +_Mir._ Good Night-caps keep brains warm, or Maggots will breed in 'em. +Well, _Charles_, thou shalt not want to buy thee Books yet, the fairest in +thy Study are my gift, and the University of _Lovain_, for thy sake, hath +tasted of my bounty; and to vex the old doting Fool thy Father, and thy +Brother, they shall not share a _Solz_ of mine between them; nay more, +I'll give thee eight thousand Crowns a year, in some high strain to write +my Epitaph. + + + +ACTUS II. SCENA II. + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Eust._ How do I look now, my Elder Brother? Nay, 'tis a handsome Suit. + +_Cow._ All Courtly, Courtly. + +_Eust._ I'll assure ye, Gentlemen, my Tailor has travel'd, and speaks as +lofty Language in his Bills too; the cover of an old Book would not shew +thus. Fie, fie; what things these Academicks are! these Book-worms, how +they look! + +_Egre._ They're meer Images, no gentle motion or behaviour in 'em; they'll +prattle ye of _Primum Mobile_, and tell a story of the state of Heaven, +what Lords and Ladies govern in such Houses, and what wonders they do when +they meet together, and how they spit Snow, Fire, and Hail, like a Jugler, +and make a noise when they are drunk, which we call Thunder. + +_Cow._ They are the sneaking'st things, and the contemptiblest; such +Small-beer brains, but ask 'em any thing out of the Element of their +understanding, and they stand gaping like a roasted Pig: do they know what +a Court is, or a Council, or how the affairs of Christendom are manag'd? +Do they know any thing but a tired Hackney? and they cry absurd as the +Horse understood 'em. They have made a fair Youth of your Elder Brother, a +pretty piece of flesh! + +_Eust._ I thank 'em for't, long may he study to give me his Estate. Saw +you my Mistris? + +_Egre._ Yes, she's a sweet young Woman; but be sure you keep her from +Learning. + +_Eust._ Songs she may have, and read a little unbak'd Poetry, such as the +Dablers of our time contrive, that has no weight nor wheel to move the +mind, nor indeed nothing but an empty sound; she shall have cloaths, but +not made by Geometry; Horses and Coach, but of no immortal Race: I will +not have a Scholar in my house above a gentle Reader; they corrupt the +foolish Women with their subtle Problems; I'le have my house call'd +ignorance, to fright prating Philosophers from Entertainment. + +_Cow._ It will do well, love those that love good fashions, good cloaths, +and rich; they invite men to admire 'em, that speak the lisp of Court. Oh +'tis great Learning! to Ride well, Dance well, Sing well, or Whistle +Courtly, they're rare endowments; that they have seen far Countreys, and +can speak strange things, though they speak no truths, for then they make +things common. When are you marri'd? + +_Eust._ To morrow, I think; we must have a Masque, Boys, and of our own +making. + +_Egre._ 'Tis not half an hours work, a _Cupid_, and a Fiddle, and the +thing's done: but let's be handsome, shall's be Gods or Nymphs? + +_Eust._ What, Nymphs with Beards? + +_Cow._ That's true, we'll be Knights then; some wandring Knights, that +light here on a sudden. + +_Eust._ Let's go, let's go, I must go visit, Gentlemen, and mark what +sweet lips I must kiss to morrow. [_Exeunt._ + + + +ACTUS II. SCENA III. + + +_Enter_ Cook, Andrew, Butler, + +_Cook._ And how do's my Master? + +_And._ He's at's Book; peace, Coxcomb, that such an unlearned tongue as +thine should ask for him! + +_Co._ Do's he not study conjuring too? + +_And._ Have you lost any Plate, _Butler_? + +_But._ No, but I know I shall to morrow at dinner. + +_And._ Then to morrow you shall be turn'd out of your place for't; we +meddle with no spirit o'th' Buttery, they taste too small for us; keep me +a Pie in _Folio_, I beseech thee, and thou shalt see how learnedly I'le +translate him. Shall's have good cheer to morrow? + +_Co._ Excellent good cheer, _Andrew_. + +_And._ The spight on't is, that much about that time, I shall be arguing, +or deciding rather, which are the Males or Females of Red Herrings, and +whether they be taken in the Red-Sea only; a question found out by +_Copernicus_, the learned Motion-maker. + +_Co._ I marry, _Butler_, here are rare things; a man that look'd upon him, +would swear he understood no more than we do. + +_But._ Certain, a learned _Andrew_. + +_And._ I've so much on't, and am so loaden with strong understanding, I +fear, they'll run me mad. Here's a new Instrument, a Mathematical Glister +to purge the Moon with when she is laden with cold phlegmatick humours; +and here's another to remove the Stars, when they grow too thick in the +Firmament. + +_Co._ O Heavens! why do I labour out my life in a Beef-pot? and only +search the secrets of a Sallad, and know no farther? + +_And._ They are not reveal'd to all heads; these are far above your +Element of Fire, _Cook_. I could tell you of _Archimedes_ Glass, to fire +your Coals with; and of the Philosophers Turf, that ne'er goes out: and, +_Gilbert Butler_, I could ravish thee with two rare inventions. + +_But._ What are they, _Andrew_. + +_And._ The one to blanch your Bread from chippings base, and in a moment, +as thou wouldst an Almond; the Sect of the Epicureans invented that: The +other for thy Trenchers, that's a strong one, to cleanse you twenty dozen +in a minute, and no noise heard, which is the wonder, _Gilbert_; and this +was out of _Plato_'s new _Ideas_. + +_But._ Why, what a learned Master do'st thou serve, _Andrew_? + +_And._ These are but the scrapings of his understanding, _Gilbert_; with +gods and goddesses, and such strange people he deals, and treats with in +so plain a fashion, as thou do'st with thy Boy that draws thy drink, or +_Ralph_ there, with his Kitchin-Boys and Scalders. + +_Co._ But why should he not be familiar, and talk sometimes, as other +Christians do, of hearty matters, and come into the Kitchin, and there cut +his Breakfast? + +_But._ And then retire to the Buttery, and there eat it, and drink a lusty +Bowl to my young Master, that must be now the Heir, he'll do all these, I +and be drunk too; these are mortal things. + +_And._ My Master studies immortality. + +_Co._ Now thou talk'st of immortality, how do's thy Wife, _Andrew_? my old +Master did you no small Pleasure when he procur'd her, and stock'd you in +a Farm. If he should love her now, as he hath a Colts tooth yet, what says +your learning and your strange Instruments to that, my _Andrew_? Can any +of your learned Clerks avoid it? can ye put by his Mathematical Engine? + +_And._ Yes, or I'le break it: thou awaken'st me, and I'le peep i'th' Moon +this month but I'le watch for him. My Master rings, I must go make him a +fire, and conjure o'er his Books. + +_Co._ Adieu, good _Andrew_, and send thee manly patience with thy +learning. [_Exeunt._ + + + +ACTUS II. SCENA IV. + + +_Enter_ Charles. + +_Cha._ I have forgot to eat and sleep with reading, and all my faculties +turn into study; 'tis meat and sleep; what need I outward garments, when I +can cloath my self with understanding? The Stars and glorious Planets have +no Tailors, yet ever new they are, and shine like Courtiers. The Seasons +of the year find no fond Parents, yet some are arm'd in silver Ice that +glisters, and some in gawdy Green come in like Masquers. The Silk-worm +spins her own suit and lodging, and has no aid nor partner in her labours. +Why should we care for any thing but knowledge, or look upon the World but +to contemn it? + +_Enter_ Andrew. + +_And._ Would you have any thing? + +_Char._ _Andrew_, I find there is a flie grown o'er the Eye o'th' _Bull_, +which will go near to blind the Constellation. + +_And._ Put a Gold-ring in's nose, and that will cure him. + +_Char._ _Ariadne_'s Crown's away too; two main Stars that held it fast are +slip[t] out. + +_And._ Send it presently to _Galateo_, the Italian Star-wright, he'll set +it right again with little labour. + +_Char._ Thou art a pretty Scholar. + +_And._ I hope I shall be; have I swept Books so often to know nothing? + +_Char._ I hear thou art married. + +_And._ It hath pleas'd your Father to match me to a Maid of his own +chusing; I doubt her Constellation's loose too, and wants nailing; and a +sweet Farm he has given us a mile off, Sir. + +_Char._ Marry thy self to understanding, _Andrew_; these Women are +_Errata_ in all Authors, they're fair to see to, and bound up in Vellam, +smooth, white and clear, but their contents are monstrous; they treat of +nothing but dull age and diseases. Thou hast not so much wit in thy head, +as there is on those shelves, _Andrew_. + +_And._ I think I have not, Sir. + +_Char._ No, if thou had'st, thou'ld'st ne'er married a Woman in thy bosom, +they're Cataplasms made o'th' deadly sins: I ne'er saw any yet but mine +own Mother; or if I did, I did regard them but as shadows that pass by of +under creatures. + +_And._ Shall I bring you one? He trust you with my own Wife; I would not +have your Brother go beyond ye; they're the prettiest Natural Philosophers +to play with. + +_Char._ No, no, they're Opticks to delude mens eyes with. Does my younger +Brother speak any Greek yet, _Andrew_? + +_And._ No, but he speaks High Dutch, and that goes daintily. + +_Char._ Reach me the Books down I read yesterday, and make a little fire, +and get a manchet; make clean those Instruments of Brass I shew'd you, and +set the great Sphere by; then take the Fox tail, and purge the Books from +dust; last, take your _Lilly_, and get your part ready. + +_And._ Shall I go home, Sir? my Wife's name is _Lilly_, there my best part +lies, Sir. + +_Charles._ I mean your Grammar, O thou Dunderhead would'st thou be ever in +thy Wife's _Syntaxis_? Let me have no noise, nor nothing to disturb me; I +am to find a secret. + +_And._ So am I too; which if I find, I shall make some smart for't-- + [_Exeunt._ + + + + +_ACTUS TERTIUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, Sylvia, Notary. + +_Lewis._ This is the day, my Daughter Angellina, the happy, that must make +you a Fortune, a large and full one, my care has wrought it, and yours +must be as great to entertain it. Young _Eustace_ is a Gentleman at all +points, and his behaviour affable and courtly, his person excellent; I +know you find that, I read it in your eyes, you like his youth; young +handsome people should be match'd together, then follows handsome +Children, handsome fortunes; the most part of his Father's Estate, my +Wench, is ti'd in a Jointure, that makes up the harmony; and when ye are +married, he's of that soft temper, and so far will be chain'd to your +observance, that you may rule and turn him as you please. What, are the +Writings drawn on your side, Sir? + +_Not._ They are, and here I have so fetter'd him, that if the Elder +Brother set his hand to, not all the power of Law shall e'er release him. + +_Lew._ These Notaries are notable confident Knaves, and able to do more +mischief than an Army. Are all your Clauses sure? + +_Not._ Sure as proportion; they may turn Rivers sooner than these +Writings. + +_Lew._ Why did you not put all the Lands in, Sir? + +_Not._ 'Twas not condition'd; if it had been found, it had been but a +fault made in the Writing; if not found, all the Land. + +_Lew._ These are small Devils, that care not who has mischief, so they +make it; they live upon the meer scent of dissention. 'Tis well, 'tis +well; are you contented, Girl? for your will must be known. + +_Ang._ A Husband's welcome, and as an humble Wife I'le entertain him; no +Sovereignty I aim at, 'tis the man's, Sir; for she that seeks it, kills +her husbands honour: The Gentleman I have seen, and well observ'd him, yet +find not that grac'd excellence you promise; a pretty Gentleman, and he +may please too, and some few flashes I have heard come from him, but not +to admiration as to others: He's young, and may be good, yet he must make +it, and I may help, and help to thank him also. It is your pleasure I +should make him mine, and 't has been still my duty to observe you. + +_Lew._ Why then let's go, and I shall love your modesty. To Horse, and +bring the Coach out, _Angellina_; to morrow you will look more womanly. + +_Ang._ So I look honestly, I fear no eyes, Sir. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +ACTUS III. SCENA II. + + +_Enter_ Brisac, Andrew, Cook, Lilly. + +_Bris._ Wait on your Master, he shall have that befits him. + +_And._ No Inheritance, Sir? + +_Bri._ You speak like a fool, a coxcomb; he shall have annual means to buy +him Books, and find him cloathes and meat, what would he more? Trouble him +with Land? 'tis flat against his nature. I love him too, and honour those +gifts in him. + +_And._ Shall Master _Eustace_ have all? + +_Bri._ All, all; he knows how to use it, he's a man bred in the world, +th'other i'th' Heavens. My Masters, pray be wary, and serviceable; and +_Cook_, see all your Sawces be sharp and poynant in the palate, that they +may commend you; look to your Roast and Bak'd meats handsomely, and what +new Kick-shaws and delicate made things--Is th' Musick come? + +_But._ Yes, Sir, they're here at Breakfast. + +_Bri._ There will be a Masque too; you must see this Room clean, and, +_Butler_, your door open to all good-fellows; but have an eye to your +Plate, for there be Furies; my _Lilly_, welcome you are for the Linen, +sort it, and see it ready for the Table, and see the Bride-bed made, and +look the cords be not cut asunder by the Gallants too, there be such +knacks abroad. Hark hither, _Lilly_, to morrow night at twelve a clo[c]k +I'le sup w'ye: your husband shall be safe, I'le send ye meat too; before I +cannot well slip from my company. + +_And._ Will you so, will you so, Sir? I'le make one to eat it, I may +chance make you stagger too. + +_Bri._ No answer, _Lilly_? + +_Lil._ One word about the Linen; I'le be ready, and rest your Worships +still. + +_And._ And I'le rest w'ye, you shall see what rest 'twill be. Are ye so +nimble? a man had need have ten pair of ears to watch you. + +_Bri._ Wait on your Master, for I know he wants ye, and keep him in his +Study, that the noise do not molest him. I will not fail my _Lilly_--Come +in, sweet-hearts, all to their several duties. [_Exeunt._ + +_And._ Are you kissing ripe, Sir? Double but my Farm, and kiss her till +thy heart ake. These Smock-vermine, how eagerly they leap at old mens +kisses, they lick their lips at profit, not at pleasure; and if 't were +not for the scurvy name of Cuckold, he should lie with her. I know she'll +labour at length with a good Lordship. If he had a Wife now, but that's +all one, I'le fit him. I must up unto my Master, he'll be mad with Study-- + [_Exit._ + + + + +ACTUS III. SCENA III. + + +_Enter_ Charles. + +_Char._ What a noise is in this house? my head is broken, within a +Parenthesis, in every corner, as if the Earth were shaken with some +strange Collect, there are stirs and motions. What Planet rules this +house? + +_Enter_ Andrew. + +Who's there? + +_And._ 'Tis I, Sir, faithful _Andrew_. + +_Char._ Come near, and lay thine ear down; hear'st no noise? + +_And._ The Cooks are chopping herbs and mince-meat to make Pies, and +breaking Marrow-bones-- + +_Char._ Can they set them again? + +_And._ Yes, yes, in Broths and Puddings, and they grow stronger for the +use of any man. + +_Char._ What speaking's that? sure there's a Massacre. + +_And._ Of Pigs and Geese, Sir, and Turkeys, for the spit. The Cooks are +angry Sirs, and that makes up the medley. + +_Char._ Do they thus at every Dinner? I ne're mark'd them yet, nor know +who is a Cook. + +_And._ They're sometimes sober, and then they beat as gently as a Tabor. + +_Char._ What loads are these? + +_And._ Meat, meat, Sir, for the Kitchen, and stinking Fowls the Tenants +have sent in; they'll ne'r be found out at a general eating; and there's +fat Venison, Sir. + +_Char._ What's that? + +_And._ Why Deer, those that men fatten for their private pleasures, and +let their Tenants starve upon the Commons. + +_Char._ I've read of Deer, but yet I ne'er eat any. + +_And._ There's a Fishmongers Boy with Caviar, Sir, Anchoves, and Potargo, +to make ye drink. + +_Char._ Sure these are modern, very modern meats, for I understand 'em +not. + +_And._ No more does any man from Caca merda, or a substance worse, till +they be greas'd with Oyl, and rubb'd with Onions, and then flung out of +doors, they are rare Sallads. + +_Char._ And why is all this, prethee tell me, _Andrew_? are there any +Princes to dine here to day? by this abundance sure there should be +Princes; I've read of entertainment for the gods at half this charge; will +not six Dishes serve 'em? I never had but one, and that a small one. + +_And._Your Brother's marri'd this day; he's marri'd your younger Brother +_Eustace_. + +_Char._ What of that? + +_And._ And all the Friends about are bidden hither; there's not a Dog that +knows the house, but comes too. + +_Char._ Marri'd! to whom? + +_And._ Why to a dainty Gentlewoman, young, sweet, and modest. + +_Char._ Are there modest women? how do they look? + +_And._ O you'll bless yourself to see them. He parts with's Books, he +ne'er did so before yet. + +_Char._ What does my Father for 'em? + +_And._ Gives all his Land, and makes your Brother heir. + +_Char._ Must I have nothing? + +_And._ Yes, you must study still, and he'll maintain you. + +_Char._ I am his eldest Brother. + +_And._ True, you were so; but he has leap'd o'er your shoulders, Sir. + +_Char._ 'Tis well; he'll not inherit my understanding too? + +_And._ I think not; he'll scarce find Tenants to let it out to. + +_Char._ Hark! hark! + +_And._ The Coach that brings the fair Lady. + +_Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, Ladies, Notary, &c. + +_And._ Now you may see her. + +_Char._ Sure this should be modest, but I do not truly know what women +make of it, _Andrew_; she has a face looks like a story, the story of the +Heavens looks very like her. + +_And._ She has a wide face then. + +_Char._ She has a Cherubin's, cover'd and vail'd with modest blushes. +_Eustace_, be happy, whiles poor _Charles_ is patient. Get me my Books +again, and come in with me-- [_Exeunt._ + +_Enter_ Brisac, Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy, Miramont. + +_Bri._ Welcome, sweet Daughter; welcome, noble Brother; and you are +welcome, Sir, with all your Writings; Ladys, most welcome: What, my angry +Brother! you must be welcome too, the Feast is flat else. + +_Mir._ I am not come for your welcome, I expect none; I bring no joys to +bless the bed withall; nor Songs, nor Masques to glorifie the Nuptials; I +bring an angry mind to see your folly, a sharp one too, to reprehend you +for it. + +_Bri._ You'll stay and dine though. + +_Mir._ All your meat smells musty, your Table will shew nothing to content +me. + +_Bri._ I'le answer you here's good meat. + +_Mir._ But your sauce is scurvie, it is not season'd with the sharpness of +discretion. + +_Eust._ It seems your anger is at me, dear Uncle. + +_Mir._ Thou art not worth my anger, th'art a Boy, a lump o'thy Father's +lightness, made of nothing but antick cloathes and cringes; look in thy +head, and 'twill appear a foot-ball full of fumes and rotten smoke. Lady, +I pity you; you are a handsome and a sweet young Lady, and ought to have a +handsom man yok'd t'ye, an understanding too; this is a Gimcrack, that can +get nothing but new fashions on you; for say he have a thing shap'd like a +child, 'twill either prove a Tumbler or a Tailor. + +_Eust._ These are but harsh words, Uncle. + +_Mir._ So I mean 'em. Sir, you play harsher play w'your elder Brother. + +_Eust._ I would be loth to give you. + +_Mir._ Do not venture, I'le make your wedding cloaths sit closer t'ye +then; I but disturb you, I'le go see my Nephew. + +_Lew._ Pray take a piece of Rosemary. + +_Mir._ I'le wear it, but for the Ladys sake, and none of yours; may be +I'le see your Table too. + +_Bri._ Pray do, Sir. + +_Ang._ A mad old Gentleman. + +_Bri._ Yes faith, sweet Daughter, he has been thus his whole age, to my +knowledge; he has made _Charles_ his Heir, I know that certainly; then why +should he grudge _Eustace_ any thing? + +_Ang._ I would not have a light head, nor one laden with too much +learning, as, they say, this _Charles_ is, that makes his Book his +Mistris; Sure there's something hid in this old man's anger, that declares +him not a meer sot. + +_Bri._ Come, shall we go and seal, Brother? all things are ready, and the +Priest is here. When _Charles_ has set his hand unto the Writings, as he +shall instantly, then to the Wedding, and so to dinner. + +_Lew._ Come, let's seal the Book first for my Daughters Jointure. + +_Bri._ Let's be private in't, Sir. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +ACTUS III. SCENA IV. + + +_Enter_ Charles, Miramont, Andrew. + +_Mir._ Nay, y'are undone. + +_Char._ Hum. + +_Mir._ Ha'ye no greater feeling? + +_And._ You were sensible of the great Book, Sir, when it fell on your +head, and now the house is ready to fall, do you fear nothing? + +_Char._ Will he have my Books too. + +_Mir._ No, he has a Book, a fair one too, to read on, and read wonders; I +would thou hadst her in thy Study, Nephew, and 'twere but to new string +her. + +_Char._ Yes, I saw her, and me thought 'twas a curious piece of Learning, +handsomely bound, and of a dainty Letter. + +_And._ He flung away his Book. + +_Mir._ I like that in him; would he had flung away his dulness too, and +spoke to her. + +_Char._ And must my Brother have all? + +_Mir._ All that your Father has. + +_Char._ And that fair woman too? + +_Mir._ That woman also. + +_Char._ He has enough then. May I not see her sometimes, and call her +sister? I will do him no wrong. + +_Mir._ This makes me mad, I could now cry for anger: these old Fools are +the most stubborn and the wilfullest Coxcombs; Farewell, and fall to your +Book, forget your Brother: you are my Heir, and I'le provide y'a Wife: +I'le look upon this marriage, though I hate it. [_Exit._ + +_Enter_ Brisac. + +_Bri._ Where is my Son? + +_And._ There, Sir, casting a Figure what chopping children his Brother +shall have. + +_Bri._ He does well. How do'st, _Charles_? still at thy Book? + +_And._ He's studying now, Sir, who shall be his Father. + +_Bri._ Peace, you rude Knave--Come hither, _Charles_, be merry. + +_Char._ I thank you, I am busie at my Book, Sir. + +_Bri._ You must put your hand, my _Charles_, as I would have you, unto a +little piece of Parchment here: only your name; you write a reasonable +hand. + +_Char._ But I may do unreasonably to write it. What is it, Sir? + +_Bri._ To pass the Land I have, Sir, unto your younger Brother. + +_Char._ Is't no more? + +_Bri._ No, no, 'tis nothing: you shall be provided for, and new Books you +shall have still, and new Studies, and have your means brought in without +thy care, Boy, and one still to attend you. + +_Char._ This shews your love, Father. + +_Bri._ I'm tender to you. + +_And._ Like a stone, I take it. + +_Char._ Why Father, I'll go down, an't please you let me, because I'd see +the thing they call the Gentlewoman; I see no Woman but through +contemplation, and there I'll do't before the company, and wish my Brother +fortune. + +_Bri._ Do, I prethee. + +_Char._ I must not stay, for I have things above require my study. + +_Bri._ No, thou shalt not stay; thou shalt have a brave dinner too. + +_And._ Now has he o'erthrown himself for ever; I will down into the +Cellar, and be stark drunk for anger. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +ACTUS III. SCENA V. + + +_Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, Eustace, Priest, Ladies, Cowsy, Notary, _and_ +Miramont. + +_Not._ Come, let him bring his Sons hand, and all's done. Is your's ready? + +_Pri._ Yes, I'll dispatch ye presently, immediately, for in truth I am a +hungry. + +_Eust._ Do, speak apace, for we believe exactly: do not we stay long, +Mistress? + +_Ang._ I find no fault, better things well done, than want time to do +them. Uncle, why are you sad? + +_Mir._ Sweet smelling blossom, would I were thine Uncle to thine own +content, I'd make thy Husband's state a thousand better, a yearly +thousand. Thou hast mist a man, (but that he is addicted to his study, and +knows no other Mistress than his mind) would weigh down bundles of these +empty kexes. + +_Ang._ Can he speak, Sir? + +_Mir._ Faith yes, but not to Women; his language is to Heaven, and +heavenly wonder; to Nature, and her dark and secret causes. + +_Ang._ And does he speak well there? + +_Mir._ O admirably! but he's too bashful to behold a Woman, there's none +that sees him, and he troubles none. + +_Ang._ He is a man. + +_Mir._ Faith yes, and a clear sweet spirit. + +_Ang._ Then conversation me thinks-- + +_Mir._ So think I; but it is his rugged Fate, and so I leave you. + +_Ang._ I like thy nobleness. + +_Eust._ See my mad Uncle is courting my fair Mistress. + +_Lew._ Let him alone; there's nothing that allays an angry mind so soon as +a sweet Beauty: he'll come to us. + +_Enter_ Brisac, _and_ Charles. + +_Eust._ My Father's here, my Brother too! that's a wonder, broke like a +Spirit from his Cell. + +_Bri._ Come hither, come nearer, _Charles_; 'twas your desire to see my +noble Daughter, and the company, and give your Brother joy, and then to +Seal, Boy; you do, like a good Brother. + +_Lew._ Marry does he, and he shall have my love for ever for't. Put to +your hand now. + +_Not._ Here's the Deed, Sir, ready. + +_Char._ No, you must pardon me a while, I tell ye, I am in contemplation, +do not trouble me. + +_Bri._ Come, leave thy Study, _Charles_. + +_Char._ I'll leave my life first; I study now to be a man, I've found it. +Before what Man was, was but my Argument. + +_Mir._ I like this best of all, he has taken fire, his dull mist flies +away. + +_Eust._ Will you write, Brother? + +_Char._ No, Brother, no; I have no time for poor things, I'm taking the +height of that bright Constellation. + +_Bri._ I say you trifle time, Son. + +_Char._ I will not seal, Sir; I am your Eldest, and I'll keep my +Birth-right, for Heaven forbid I should become example: Had y'only shew'd +me Land, I had deliver'd it, and been a proud man to have parted with it; +'tis dirt, and labour. Do I speak right, Uncle? + +_Mir._ Bravely, my Boy, and bless thy tongue. + +_Char._ I'll forward: but you have open'd to me such a treasure, I find my +mind free; Heaven direct my fortune. + +_Mir._ Can he speak now? Is this a son to sacrifice? + +_Char._ Such an inimitable piece of Beauty, that I have studied long, and +now found only, that I'll part sooner with my soul of Reason, and be a +Plant, a Beast, a Fish, a Flie, and only make the number of things up, +than yield to one foot of Land, if she be ti'd to't. + +_Lew._ He speaks unhappily. + +_Ang._ And methinks bravely. This the meer Scholar? + +_Eust._ You but vex your self, Brother, and vex your study too. + +_Char._ Go you and study, for 'tis time, young _Eustace_; you want both +man and manners; I've study'd both, although I made no shew on't. Go turn +the Volumes over I have read, eat and digest them, that they may grow in +thee; wear out the tedious night with thy dim Lamp, and sooner lose the +day, than leave a doubt. Distil the sweetness from the Poets Spring, and +learn to love; thou know'st not what fair is: Traverse the stories of the +great Heroes, the wise and civil lives of good men walk through; thou hast +seen nothing but the face of Countrys, and brought home nothing but their +empty words: why shouldst thou wear a Jewel of this worth, that hast no +worth within thee to preserve her? + + _Beauty clear and fair, + Where the Air + Rather like a perfume dwells, + Where the Violet and the Rose + The blew Veins in blush disclose, + And come to honour nothing else. + + Where to live near, + And planted there, + Is to live, and still live new; + Where to gain a favour is + More than light, perpetual bliss, + Make me live by serving you. + + Dear again back recall + To this light, + A stranger to himself and all; + Both the wonder and the story + Shall be yours, and eke the glory; + I am your servant and your thrall._ + +_Mir._ Speak such another Ode, and take all yet. What say ye to the +Scholar now? + +_Ang._ I wonder; is he your Brother, Sir? + +_Eust._ Yes, would he were buried; I fear he'll make an Ass of me a +younger. + +_Ang._ Speak not so softly, Sir, 'tis very likely. + +_Bri._ Come, leave your finical talk, and let's dispatch, _Charles_. + +_Char._ Dispatch, what? + +_Bri._ Why the Land. + +_Char._ You are deceiv'd, Sir. Now I perceive what 'tis that wooes a +woman, and what maintains her when she's woo'd: I'll stop here. A wilful +poverty ne'er made a Beauty, nor want of means maintain'd it vertuously: +though land and moneys be no happiness, yet they are counted good +additions. That use I'll make; he that neglects a blessing, though he want +a present knowledge how to use it, neglects himself. May be I have done +you wrong, Lady, whose love and hope went hand in hand together; may be my +Brother, that has long expected the happy hour, and bless'd my ignorance; +pray give me leave, Sir, I shall clear all doubts; why did they shew me +you? pray tell me that? + +(_Mir._ He'll talk thee into a pension for thy knavery.) + +_Char._ You, happy you, why did you break unto me? The Rosie sugred morn +ne'er broke so sweetly: I am a man, and have desires within me, affections +too, though they were drown'd a while, and lay dead, till the Spring of +beauty rais'd them; till I saw those eyes, I was but a lump, a chaos of +confusedness dwelt in me; then from those eyes shot Love, and he +distinguish'd, and into form he drew my faculties; and now I know my Land, +and now I love too. + +_Bri._ We had best remove the Maid. + +_Char._ It is too late, Sir. I have her figure here. Nay frown not, +_Eustace_, there are less worthy Souls for younger Brothers; this is no +form of Silk, but Sanctity, which wild lascivious hearts can never +dignifie. Remove her where you will, I walk along still, for, like the +light, we make no separation; you may sooner part the Billows of the Sea +and put a barr betwixt their fellowships, than blot out my remembrance; +sooner shut old Time into a Den, and stay his motion, wash off the swift +hours from his downy wings, or steal Eternity to stop his glass, than shut +the sweet Idea I have in me. Room for an Elder Brother, pray give place, +Sir. + +_Mir._ H'as studied duel too; take heed, he'll beat thee. H'as frighted +the old Justice into a Feaver; I hope he'll disinherit him too for an Ass; +for though he be grave with years, he's a great Baby. + +_Char._ Do not you think me mad? + +_Ang._ No certain, Sir, I have heard nothing from you but things +excellent. + +_Char._ You look upon my cloaths, and laugh at me, my scurvy cloaths! + +_Ang._ They have rich linings, Sir. I would your Brother-- + +_Char._ His are gold and gawdie. + +_Ang._ But touch 'em inwardly, they smell of Copper. + +_Char._ Can ye love me? I am an Heir, sweet Lady, however I appear a poor +dependent; love you with honour I shall love so ever. Is your eye +ambitious? I may be a great man; is't wealth or lands you covet? my Father +must die. + +_Mir._ That was well put in, I hope he'll take it deeply. + +_Char._ Old men are not immortal, as I take it; is it you look for, youth +and handsomness? I do confess my Brother's a handsome Gentleman, but he +shall give me leave to lead the way, Lady. Can you love for love, and make +that the reward? The old man shall not love his heaps of Gold with a more +doting superstition, than I'le love you. The young man his delights, the +Merchant, when he ploughs the angry Sea up and sees the mountain billows +falling on him, as if all the Elements, and all their angers, were turn'd +into one vow'd destruction; shall not with greater joy embrace his safety. +We'll live together like two wanton Vines, circling our souls and loves in +one another, we'll spring together, and we'll bear one fruit; one joy +shall make us smile, and one grief mourn; one age go with us, and one hour +of death shall shut our eyes, and one grave make us happy. + +_Ang._ And one hand seal the Match, I'm yours for ever. + +_Lew._ Nay, stay, stay, stay. + +_Ang._ Nay certainly, 'tis done, Sir. + +_Bri._ There was a contract. + +_Ang._ Only conditional, that if he had the Land, he had my love too; this +Gentleman's the Heir, and he'll maintain it. Pray be not angry, Sir, at +what I say; or if you be, 'tis at your own adventure. You have the out- +side of a pretty Gentleman, but by my troth your inside is but barren; +'tis not a face I only am in love with, nor will I say your face is +excellent, a reasonable hunting face to court the wind with; nor they're +not words, unless they be well plac'd too, nor your sweet Dam-mes, nor +your hired Verses, nor telling me of Clothes, nor Coach and Horses, no nor +your visits each day in new Suits, nor your black Patches you wear +variously, some cut like Stars, some in Half-moons, some Lozenges, (all +which but shew you still a younger Brother.) + +_Mir._ Gramercy, Wench, thou hast a noble Soul too. + +_Ang._ Nor your long travels, nor your little knowledge, can make me doat +upon you. Faith go study, and glean some goodness, that you may shew +manly; your Brother at my suit I'm sure will teach you; or only study how +to get a Wife, Sir. Y'are cast far behind, 'tis good you should be +melancholy, it shews like a Gamester that had lost his mony; and 'tis the +fashion to wear your arm in a skarf, Sir, for [you] have had a shrewd cut +o'er the fingers. + +_Lew._ But are y'in earnest? + +_Ang._ Yes, believe me, Father, you shall ne'er choose for me; y'are old +and dim, Sir, and th' shadow of the earth Eclips'd your judgment. Y'have +had your time without control, dear Father, and you must give me leave to +take mine now, Sir. + +_Bri._ This is the last time of asking, will you set your hand to? + +_Cha._ This is the last time of answering, I will never. + +_Bri._ Out of my doors. + +_Char._ Most willingly. + +_Mir._ He shall, Jew, thou of the Tribe of _Man-y-asses_, Coxcomb, and +never trouble thee more till thy chops be cold, fool. + +_Ang._ Must I be gone too? + +_Lew._ I will never know thee. + +_Ang._ Then this man will; what Fortune he shall run, Father, be't good or +bad, I must partake it with him. + +_Enter_ Egremont. + +_Egre._ When shall the Masque begin? + +_Eust._ 'Tis done already; all, all is broken off, I am undone, Friend, my +Brother's wise again, and has spoil'd all, will not release the Land, has +won the Wench too. + +_Egre._ Could he not stay till the Masque was past? w'are ready. What a +scurvy trick's this? + +_Mir._ O you may vanish, perform it at some Hall, where the Citizens Wives +may see't for Six-pence a piece, and a cold Supper. Come, let's go, +_Charles_. And now, my noble Daughter, I'le sell the Tiles of my House, +e're thou shalt want, Wench. Rate up your Dinner, Sir, and sell it cheap: +some younger Brother will take't up in Commodities. Send you joy, Nephew +_Eustace_; if you study the Law, keep your great Pippin-pies, they'll go +far with ye. + +_Char._ I'd have your blessing. + +_Bri._ No, no, meet me no more. Farewel, thou wilt blast mine eyes else. + +_Char._ I will not. + +_Lew._ Nor send not you for Gowns. + +_Ang._ I'll wear course Flannel first. + +_Bri._ Come, let's go take some counsel. + +_Lew._ 'Tis too late. + +_Bri._ Then stay and dine; it may be we shall vex 'em. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +_ACTUS QUARTUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Brisac, Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Brisac._ Ne'er talk to me, you are no men but Masquers; shapes, shadows, +and the signs of men, Court bubbles, that every breath or breaks or blows +away. You have no souls, no metal in your bloods, no heat to stir ye when +ye have occasion: frozen dull things, that must be turn'd with Leavers. +Are you the Courtiers, and the travell'd Gallants? the spritely Fellows +that the people talk of? Ye have no more spirit than three sleepy sopes. + +_Eust._ What would ye have me do, Sir? + +_Bri._ Follow your Brother, and get ye out of doors, and seek your +Fortune. Stand still becalm'd, and let an aged Dotard, a hair-brain'd +Puppy, and a Bookish Boy, that never knew a Blade above a Pen-knife, and +how to cut his meat in Characters, cross my design, and take thine own +Wench from thee, in mine own house too? Thou despis'd poor fellow! + +_Eust._ The reverence that I ever bare to you, Sir, then to my Uncle, with +whom 't had been but sawciness t' have been so rough-- + +_Egre._ And we not seeing him strive in his own cause, that was principal, +and should have led us on, thought it ill manners to begin a quarrel here. + +_Bri._ You dare do nothing. Do you make your care the excuse of your +Cowardise? Three Boys on Hobby-horses, with three penny Halberds, would +beat you all. + +_Cow._ You must not say so. + +_Bri._ Yes, and sing it too. + +_Cow._ You are a man of peace, therefore we must give way. + +_Bri._ I'll make my way, and therefore quickly leave me, or I'll force +you; and having first torn off your flanting feathers, I'll trample on +'em; and if that cannot teach you to quit my house, I'll kick ye out of my +gates; you gawdy Glow-worms, carrying seeming fire, yet have no heat +within ye. + +_Cow._ O blest travel! how much we owe thee for our power to suffer! + +_Egre._ Some splenetive Youths now, that had never seen more than thy +Country smoak, will grow in choler; it would shew fine in us. + +_Eust._ Yes marry would it, that are prime Courtiers, and must know no +angers, but give thanks for our injuries, if we purpose to hold our +places. + +_Bri._ Will you find the door? and find it suddenly? you shall lead the +way, Sir, with your perfum'd retinue, and recover the now lost +_Angellina_, or build on it, I will adopt some beggar's doubtful issue, +before thou shalt inherit. + +_Eust._ We'll to counsel, and what may be done by man's wit or valour, +we'll put in Execution. + +_Bri._ Do, or never hope I shall know thee. [Exeunt. + +_Enter _Lewis. + +_Lew._ O Sir, have I found you? + +_Bri._ I never hid my self; whence flows this fury, with which, as it +appears, you come to fright me? + +_Lew._ I smell a plot, meer conspiracy amongst ye all to defeat me of my +Daughter; and if she be not suddenly deliver'd, untainted in her +reputation too, the best of _France_ shall know how I am jugled with. She +is my Heir, and if she may be ravish'd thus from my care, farewel +Nobility; Honour and Blood are meer neglected nothings. + +_Bri._ Nay then, my Lord, you go too far, and tax him, whose innocency +understands not what fear is. If your unconstant Daughter will not dwell +on certainties, must you thenceforth conclude that I am fickle? what have +I omitted, to make good my integrity and truth? nor can her lightness, nor +your supposition, cast an aspersion on me. + +_Lew._ I am wounded in fact, nor can words cure it: do not trifle, but +speedily, once more I do repeat it, restore my Daughter as I brought her +hither, or you shall hear from me in such a kind, as you will blush to +answer. + +_Bri._ All the world, I think, conspires to vex me, yet I will not torment +my self: some sprightful mirth must banish the rage and melancholy which +hath almost choak'd me; t' a knowing man 'tis Physick, and 'tis thought +on; one merry hour I'll have in spight of Fortune, to chear my heart, and +this is that appointed; this night I'll hug my _Lilly_ in mine arms, +provocatives are sent before to chear me, we old men need 'em, +and though we pay dear for our stoln pleasures, so it be done securely, +the charge much like a sharp sauce, gives 'em relish. Well, honest +_Andrew_, I gave you a Farm, and it shall have a Beacon, to give warning +to my other Tenants when the Foe approaches; and presently, you being +bestowed else-where, I'le graff it with dexterity on your forehead; indeed +I will, _Lilly_, I come, poor _Andrew_. [Exit. + + + + +ACTUS IV. SCENA II. + + +_Enter_ Miramont, Andrew. + +_Mir._ Do they [chafe] roundly? + +_And._ As they were rubb'd with Soap, Sir, and now they swear aloud, now +calm again; like a Ring of Bells, whose sound the wind still alters, and +then they sit in counsel what to do, and then they jar again what shall be +done; they talk of Warrants from the Parliament, Complaints to the King, +and Forces from the Province; they have a thousand heads in a thousand +minutes, yet ne'er a one head worth a head of Garlick. + +_Mir._ Long may they chafe, and long may we laugh at 'em; a couple of pure +Puppies yok'd together. But what sayes the young Courtier Master +_Eustace_, and his two warlike Friends? + +_And._ They say but little, how much they think I know not; they look +ruefully, as if they had newly come from a vaulting-house, and had been +quite shot through 'tween wind and water by a she _Dunkirk_, and had +sprung a Leak, Sir. Certain my Master was to blame. + +_Mir._ Why, _Andrew_? + +_And._ To take away the Wench o'th' sudden from him, and give him no +lawful warning; he is tender, and of a young Girls constitution, Sir, +ready to get the Green sickness with conceit. Had he but ta'ne his leave +in availing Language, or bought an Elegy of his condolement, that the +world might have ta'ne notice, he had been an Ass, 't had been some +favour. + +_Mir._ Thou say'st true, wise _Andrew_; but these Scholars are such +things, when they can prattle. + +_And._ And very parlous things, Sir. + +_Mir._ And when [they] gain the liberty to distinguish the difference +'twixt a Father and a Fool, to look below, and spie a younger Brother +pruning up, and dressing up his expectations in a rare glass of beauty, +too good for him; those dreaming Scholars then turn Tyrants, _Andrew_, and +shew no mercy. + +_Mir._ The more's the pity, Sir. + +_Mir._ Thou told'st me of a trick to catch my Brother, and anger him a +little farther, _Andrew_. It shall be only anger, I assure thee, and +little shame. + +_And_. And I can fit you, Sir. Hark in your ear. + +_Mir_. Thy Wife? + +_And_. So I assure ye; this night at twelve a clock. + +_Mir_. 'Tis neat and handsome; there are twenty Crowns due to thy project, +_Andrew_; I've time to visit _Charles_, and see what Lecture he reads to +his Mistris. That done, I'le not fail to be with you. + +_And_. Nor I to watch my master-- [_Exeunt_. + + + + +ACTUS IV. SCENA III. + + +_Enter_ Angelli[n]a, Sylvia, _with a Taper_. + +_Ang_. I'm worse than e'er I was; for now I fear, that that I love, that +that I only dote on; he follows me through every room I pass, and with a +strong set eye he gazes on me, as if his spark of innocence were blown +into a flame of lust. Virtue defend me. His Uncle too is absent, and 'tis +night; and what these opportunities may teach him--What fear and endless +care 'tis to be honest! to be a Maid what misery, what mischief! Would I +were rid of it, so it were fairly. + +_Syl_. You need not fear that, will you be a child still? He follows you, +but still to look upon you; or if he did desire to lie with ye, 'tis but +your own desire, you love for that end; I'le lay my life, if he were now a +bed w'ye, he is so modest, he would fall asleep straight. + +_Ang_. Dare you venture that? + +_Syl_. Let him consent, and have at ye; I fear him not, he knows not what +a woman is, nor how to find the mystery men aim at. Are you afraid of your +own shadow, Madam? + +_Ang_. He follows still, yet with a sober face; would I might know the +worst, and then I were satisfied. + +_Syl_. Ye may both, and let him but go with ye. + +_Char_. Why do you flie me? what have I so ill about me, or within me, to +deserve it? + +_Ang_. I am going to bed, Sir. + +_Char_. And I am come to light ye; I am a Maid, and 'tis a Maidens office. + +_Ang_. You may have me to bed, Sir, without a scruple, and yet I am chary +too who comes about me. Two Innocents should not fear one another. + +_Syl_. The Gentleman says true. Pluck up your heart, Madam. + +_Char_. The glorious Sun both rising and declining we boldly look upon; +even then, sweet Lady, when, like a modest Bride, he draws nights +curtains, even then he blushes, that men should behold him. + +_Ang_. I fear he will perswade me to mistake him. + +_Syl_. 'Tis easily done, if you will give your mind to't. + +_Ang_. Pray ye to your bed. + +_Char_. Why not to yours, dear Mistris? one heart and one bed. + +_Ang_. True, Sir, when 'tis lawful: but yet you know-- + +_Char_. I would not know, forget it; those are but sickly loves that hang +on Ceremonies, nurs'd up with doubts and fears; ours high and healthful, +full of belief, and fit to teach the Priest: Love shall seal first, then +hands confirm the bargain. + +_Ang_. I shall be a Heretick if this continue. What would you do a bed? +you make me blush, Sir. + +_Char_. I'd see you sleep, for sure your sleeps are excellent, you that +are waking such a noted wonder, must in your slumber prove an admiration. +I would behold your dreams too, if't were possible; those were rich +showes. + +_Ang_. I am becoming Traitor. + +_Char_. Then like blew _Neptune_ courting of an Island, where all the +perfumes and the precious things that wait upon great Nature are laid up, +I'd clip it in my arms, and chastly kiss it, dwell in your bosome like +your dearest thoughts, and sigh and weep. + +_Ang_. I've too much woman in me. + +_Char_. And those true tears falling on your pure Crystals, should turn to +armelets for great Queens t'adore. + +_Ang_. I must be gone. + +_Char_. Do not, I will not hurt ye; this is to let you know, my worthiest +Lady, y'have clear'd my mind, and I can speak of love too: Fear not my +manners, though I never knew, before these few hours, what a Beauty was, +and such a one that fires all hearts that feel it; yet I have read of +virtuous Temperance, and study'd it among my other Secrets; and sooner +would I force a separation betwixt this spirit and the case of flesh, than +but conceive one rudeness against Chastity. + +_Ang_. Then we may walk. + +_Char_. And talk of any thing, any fit for your ears, and my language; +though I was bred up dull, I was ever civil; 'tis true, I have found it +hard to look on you, and not desire, 'twill prove a wise mans task; yet +those desires I have so mingled still, and tempered with the quality of +honour, that if you should yield, I should hate you for't. I am no +Courtier of a light condition, apt to take fire at every beauteous face; +that only serves his will and wantonness, and lets the serious part run by +as thin neglected sand. Whiteness of name, you must be mine; why should I +rob my self of that that lawfully must make me happy? why should I seek to +cuckold my delights, and widow all those sweets I aim at in you? We'll +lose our selves in _Venus_ Groves of Myrtle, where every little Bird shall +be a _Cupid_, and sing of love and youth, each wind that blows, and curls +the velvet-leaves, shall breed delights, the wanton Springs shall call us +to their banks, and on the perfum'd flowers we'll feast our senses; yet +we'll walk by untainted of their pleasures, and as they were pure Temples +we'll talk in them. + +_Ang_. To bed, and pray then, we may have a fair end of our fair loves; +would I were worthy of you, or of such parents that might give you thanks: +But I am poor in all but in your love. Once more, good night. + +_Char_. A good night t'ye, and may the dew of sleep fall gently on you, +sweet one, and lock up those fair lights in pleasing slumbers; no dreams +but chaste and clear attempt your fancy, and break betimes sweet morn, +I've lost my light else. + +_Ang_. Let it be ever night when I lose you. + +_Syl_. This Scholar never went to a Free-School, he's so simple. + +_Enter a_ Servant. + +_Serv_. Your Brother, with two Gallants, is at door, Sir, and they're so +violent, they'll take no denial. + +_Ang_. This is no fit time of night. + +_Char_. Let 'em in, Mistris. + +_Serv_. They stay no leave; shall I raise the house on 'em? + +_Char_. Not a man, nor make no murmur oft I charge ye. + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Eust_. They're here, my Uncle absent, stand close to me. How do you, +Brother, with your curious story? have you not read her yet sufficiently? + +_Char_. No, Brother, no; I stay yet in the Preface: the style's too hard +for you. + +_Eust_. I must entreat her; she's parcel of my goods. + +_Char_. She's all when you have her. + +_Ang_. Hold off your hands, unmannerly, rude Sir; nor I, nor what I have +depend on you. + +_Char_. Do, let her alone, she gives good counsel; do not trouble your +self with Ladies, they are too light: Let out your Land, and get a +provident Steward. + +_Ang_. I cannot love ye, let that satisfie you; such vanities as you, are +to be laugh'd at. + +_Eust_. Nay, then you must go; I must claim mine own. + +_Both_. Away, away with her. + +_Char. Let her alone, pray let her alone, [_She strikes off_ +and take your Coxcomb up: Let me talk [Eustace's _hat_. +civilly a while with you, Brother. It may be on some terms I may part with +her. + +_Eust_. O, is your heart come down? what are your terms, Sir? Put up, put +up. + +_Char_. This is the first and chiefest; [_Snatches away his sword_] +let's walk a turn. Now stand off, fools, I advise ye, stand as far off as +you would hope for mercy: this is the first sword yet I ever handled, and +a sword's a beauteous thing to look upon; and if it hold, I shall so hunt +your insolence: 'tis sharp, I'm sure, and if I put it home, 'tis ten to +one I shall new pink your Sattins; I find I have spirit enough to dispose +of it, and will enough to make ye all examples; let me toss it round, I +have the full command on't. Fetch me a native Fencer, I defie him; I feel +the fire of ten strong spirits in me. Do you watch me when my Uncle is +absent? this is my grief, I shall be flesh'd on Cowards; teach me to +fight, I willing am to learn. Are ye all gilded flies, nothing but shew in +ye? why stand ye gaping? who now touches her? who calls her his, or who +dares name her to me? but name her as his own; who dares look on her? that +shall be mortal too; but think, 'tis dangerous. Art thou a fit man to +inherit Land, and hast no wit nor spirit to maintain it? Stand still, thou +sign of a man, and pray for thy friends, pray heartily, good prayers may +restore ye. + +_Ang_. But do not kill 'em, Sir. + +_Char_. You speak too late, Dear; it is my first fight, and I must do +bravely, I must not look with partial eyes on any; I cannot spare a button +of these Gentlemen; did life lie in their heel, Achilles like, I'd shoot +my anger at those parts, and kill 'em. Who waits within? + +_Ser_. Sir. + +_Char_. View all these, view 'em well, go round about 'em, and still view +their faces; round about yet, see how death waits upon 'em, for thou shalt +never view 'em more. + +_Eust_. Pray hold, Sir. + +_Char_. I cannot hold, you stand so fair before me; I must not hold; +'twill darken all my glories. Go to my Uncle, bid him post to the King, +and get my pardon instantly, I have need on't. + +_Eust_. Are you so unnatural? + +_Char_. You shall die last, Sir, I'll take thee dead, thou art no man to +fight with. Come, will ye come? Me-thinks I've fought whole Battels. + +_Cow_. We have no quarrel to you that we know on, Sir. + +_Egre_. We'll quit the house, and ask ye mercy too. Good Lady, let no +murther be done here; we came but to parly. + +_Char_. How my sword thirsts after them! Stand away, Sweet. + +_Eust_. Pray, Sir, take my submission, and I disclaim for ever. + +_Char_. Away, ye poor things, ye despicable creatures! do you come poste +to fetch a Lady from me? from a poor School-boy that ye scorn'd of late, +and grow lame in your hearts when you should execute? Pray take her, take +her, I am weary of her: What did you bring to carry her? + +_Egre_. A Coach and four Horses. + +_Char_. But are they good? + +_Egre_. As good as France can shew Sir. + +_Char_. Are you willing to leave those, and take your safeties? Speak +quickly. + +_Eust_. Yes with all our hearts. + +_Char_. 'Tis done then. Many have got one Horse, I've got four by th' +bargain. + +_Enter_ Miramont. + +_Mir_. How now, who's here? + +_Ser_. Nay, now y'are gone without bail. + +_Mir_. What, drawn, my Friends? Fetch me my two-hand Sword; I will not +leave a head on your shoulders, Wretches. + +_Eust_. In troth, Sir, I came but to do my duty. + +_Both_. And we to renew our loves. + +_Mir_. Bring me a Blanket. What came they for? + +_Ang_. To borrow me a while, Sir; but one that never fought yet, has so +curri'd, so bastinado'd them with manly carriage, they stand like things +_Gorgon_ had turn'd to stone: they watch'd your being absent, and then +thought they might do wonders here, and they have done so; for by my troth +I wonder at their coldness, the nipping North or Frost never came near +them; St _George_ upon a sign would grow more sensible. If the name of +Honour were for ever to be lost, these were the most sufficient men to do +it in all the world; and yet they are but young, what will they rise to? +They're as full of fire as' a frozen Glow-worms rattle, and shine as +goodly: Nobility and patience are match'd rarely in these three Gentlemen, +they have right use on't; they'll stand still for an hour and be beaten. +These are the Anagrams of three great Worthies. + +_Mir_. They will infect my house with cowardize, if they breath longer in +it; my roof covers no baffl'd Monsieurs, walk and air your selves; as I +live they stay not here. White-liver'd wretches, without one word to ask a +reason why. Vanish, 'tis the last warning, and with speed; for if I take +ye in hand, I shall dissect you, and read upon your flegmatick dull +Carcases. My Horse again there: I have other business, which you shall +hear hereafter, and laugh at it. Good-night _Charles_, fair goodness to +your dear Lady; 'tis late, 'tis late. + +_Ang_. Pray, Sir, be careful of us. + +_Mir_. It is enough, my best care shall attend ye. [_Exeunt_. + + + + +ACTUS IV. SCENA IV. + + +_Enter_ Andrew. + +_And_. Are you come, old Master? Very good, your Horse is well set up; but +ere you part, I'll ride you, and spur your Reverend Justiceship such a +question, as I shall make the sides of your Reputation bleed, truly I +will. Now must I play at Bo-peep--A Banquet--well, Potatoes and Eringoes, +and, as I take it, Cantharides--Excellent, a Priapism follows, and as I'll +handle it, it shall, old Lecherous Goat in Authority. Now they begin to +Bill; how he slavers her! Gramercy _Lilly_, she spits his kisses out, and +now he offers to fumble, she falls off, (that's a good Wench) and cries +fair play above board. Who are they in the corner? As I live, a covy of +Fidlers; I shall have some Musick yet at my making free o'th' Company of +_Horners_; there's the comfort, and a Song too! He beckons for one--Sure +'tis no Anthem, nor no borrow'd Rhymes out of the School of Vertue; I will +listen-- [_A Song_. +This was never penn'd at _Geneva_, the Note's too sprightly. So, so, the +Musick's paid for, and now what follows? O that Monsieur _Miramont_ would +but keep his word; here were a Feast to make him fat with laughter; at the +most 'tis not six minutes riding from his house, nor will he break, I +hope--O are you come, Sir? the prey is in the Net, and will break in upon +occasion. + +_Mir_. Thou shalt rule me, Andrew. O th'infinite fright that will assail +this Gentleman! the Quartans, Tertians, and Quotidians that will hang like +Serjeants on his Worships shoulders? the humiliation of the flesh of this +man, this grave, austere man will be wondred at. How will those solemn +looks appear to me; and that severe face, that speaks chains and shackles? +Now I take him in the nick, e're I have done with him, he had better have +stood between two panes of Wainscot, and made his recantation in the +Market, than hear me conjure him. + +_And_. He must pass this way to th' only Bed I have; he comes, stand +close. + +_Bri_. Well done, well done, give me my night-cap. So. Quick, quick, +untruss me; I will truss and trounce thee. Come, Wench, a kiss between +each point; kiss close, it is a sweet Parenthesis. + +_Lil._ Y'are merry, Sir. + +_Bri._ Merry I will be anon, and thou shalt feel it, thou shalt, my +_Lilly_. + +_Lil._ Shall I air your Bed, Sir? + +_Bri._ No, no; I'll use no Warming-pan but thine, Girl, that's all. Come +kiss me again. + +_Lil._ Ha'ye done yet? + +_Bri._ No; but I will do, and do wonders, _Lilly_. Shew me the way. + +_Lil._ You cannot miss it, Sir; you shall have a Cawdle in the morning for +your Worship's breakfast. + +_Bri._ How, i'th' morning, _Lilly_? th'art such a witty thing to draw me +on. Leave fooling, _Lilly_, I am hungry now, and th'hast another Kickshaw, +I must taste it. + +_Lil._ 'Twill make you surfeit, I am tender of you: y'have all y'are like +to have. + +_And._ And can this be earnest? + +_Mir._ It seems so, and she honest. + +_Bri._ Have I not thy promise, _Lilly_? + +_Lil._ Yes, and I have performed enough to a man of your years, this is +truth; and you shall find, Sir, you have kiss'd and tous'd me, handl'd my +leg and foot; what would you more, Sir? As for the rest, it requires youth +and strength, and the labour in an old man would breed Agues, Sciatica's, +and Cramps: You shall not curse me for taking from you what you cannot +spare, Sir. Be good unto your self, y'have ta'ne already all you can take +with ease; you are past threshing, it is a work too boisterous for you, +leave such drudgery to _Andrew_. + +_Mir._ How she jeers him! + +_Lil._ Let _Andrew_ alone with his own tillage, he's tough, and can manure +it. + +_Bri._ Y'are a quean, a scoffing, jeering quean. + +_Lil._ It may be so, but I'm sure I'll ne'r be yours. + +_Bri._ Do not provoke me, if thou do'st I'll have my Farm again, and turn +thee out a begging. + +_Lil._ Though you have the will, and want of honesty to deny your deed, +Sir; yet I hope _Andrew_ has got so much learning from my young Master, as +to keep his own; at the worst I'll tell a short tale to the Judges, for +what grave ends you sign'd your Lease, and on what terms you would revoke +it. + +_Bri_. Whore, thou dar'st not. Yield, or I'll have thee whipt: how my +Bloud boils, as if't were o're a Furnace! + +_Mir_. I shall cool it. + +_Bri_. Yet, gentle _Lilly_, pity and forgive me, I'll be a friend t'ye, +such a loving bountiful friend-- + +_Lil_. To avoid Suits in Law, I would grant a little; but should fierce +_Andrew_ know it, what would become of me? + +_And_. A Whore, a Whore! + +_Bri_. Nothing but well Wench, I shall put such a strong Bit in his mouth, +as thou shall ride him how thou wilt, my _Lilly_; nay, he shall hold the +door, as I will work him, and thank thee for the Office. + +_Mir_. Take heed, _Andrew_, these are shrewd temptations. + +_And_. Pray you know your Cue, and second me, Sir. By your Worship's +favour. + +_Bri_. _Andrew_! + +_And_. I come in time to take possession of th'Office you assign me; hold +the door! alas, 'tis nothing for a simple man to stay without, when a deep +understanding holds conference within, say with his Wife: a trifle, Sir. I +know I hold my Farm by Cuckolds Tenure; you are Lord o'th' Soil, Sir. +_Lilly_ is a Weft, a stray, she's yours to use, Sir, I claim no interest +in her. + +_Bri_. Art thou serious? speak, honest _Andrew_, since thou hast o'erheard +us, and wink at small faults, man; I'm but a pidlar, a little will serve +my turn; thou'lt find enough when I've my belly full: Wilt thou be private +and silent? + +_And_. By all means, I'll only have a Ballad made of't, sung to some lewd +Tune, and the name of it shall be _Justice Trap_; it will sell rarely with +your Worships name, and _Lilly_'s on the top. + +_Bri_. Seek not the ruine o' my reputation, _Andrew_. + +_And_. 'Tis for your credit, Monsieur _Brisac_, printed in Capital +Letters, then pasted upon all the posts in _Paris_. + +_Bri_. No mercy, _Andrew_? + +_And_. O, it will proclaim you from the City to the Court, and prove Sport +Royal. + +_Bri_. Thou shalt keep thy Farm. + +_Mir_. He does afflict him rarely. + +_And_. You trouble me. Then his intent arriving, the vizard of his +hypocrisie pull'd of[f] to the Judge criminal. + +_Bri_. O I am undone. + +_And_. He's put out of Commission with disgrace, and held uncapable of +bearing Office ever hereafter. This is my revenge, and this I'll put in +practice. + +_Bri_. Do but hear me. + +_And_. To bring me back from my Grammar to my Hornbook, it is +unpardonable. + +_Bri_. Do not play the Tyrant; accept of composition. + +_Lil_. Hear him, _Andrew_. + +_And_. What composition? + +_Bri_. I'll confirm thy Farm, and add unto it a hundred Acres more, +adjoyning to it. + +_And_. Umb, this mollifies; but y'are so fickle, and will again deny this, +there being no witness by. + +_Bri_. Call any witness, I'll presently assure it. + +_And_. Say you so? troth there's a friend of mine, Sir, within hearing, +that's familiar with all that's past, his testimony will be authentical. + +_Bri_. Will he be secret? + +_And_. You may tie his tongue up, as you would do your purse-strings. + +_Bri_. _Miramont_! + +_Mir_. Ha-ha-ha! + +_And_. This is my witness. Lord how you are troubled! sure you have an +Ag[u]e, you shake so with choler: Here's your loving Brother, Sir, and +will tell no body but all he meets, that you have eat a Snake, and are +grown young, gamesome, and rampant. + +_Bri_. Caught thus? + +_And_. If he were one that would make jests of you, or plague ye, with +making your Religious gravity ridiculous to your Neighbours, then you had +some cause to be perplex'd. + +_Bri_. I shall become discourse for Clowns and Tapsters. + +_And_. Quick, _Lilly_, quick, he's now past kissing, between point and +point. He swounds, fetch him some Cordial--Now put in, Sir. + +_Mir_. Who may this be? sure this is some mistake: let me see his face, +wears he not a false beard? it cannot be _Brisac_ that worthy Gentleman, +the Pillar and the Patron of his Country; he is too prudent, and too +cautelous, experience hath taught him t'avoid these fooleries, he is the +punisher, and not the doer; besides he's old and cold, unfit for Woman: +This is some counterfeit, he shall be whipt for't, some base abuser of my +worthy Brother. + +_Bri_. Open the doors; will ye imprison me? are ye my Judges? + +_Mir_. The man raves! this is not judicious _Brisac_: yet now I think +on't, h'has a kind of Dog look like my Brother, a guilty hanging face. + +_Bri_. I'll suffer bravely, do your worst, do, do. + +_Mir_. Why, it's manly in you. + +_Bri_. Nor will I rail nor curse, you slave, you whore, I will not meddle +with you; but all the torments that e're fell on men, that fed on +mischief, fall heavily on you all. [_Exit_. + +_Lil_. You have given him a heat, Sir. + +_Mir_. He will ride you the better, _Lilly_. + +_And_. We'll teach him to meddle with Scholars. + +_Mir_. He shall make good his promise t'increase thy Farm, _Andrew_, or +I'll jeer him to death. Fear nothing, _Lilly_, I am thy Champion. This +jeast goes to _Charles_, and then I'll hunt him out, and Monsieur +_Eustace_ the gallant Courtier, and laugh heartily to see 'em mourn +together. + +_And_. 'Twill be rare, Sir. [_Exeunt_. + + + + +_ACTUS QUINTUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Eust_. Turn'd out of doors and baffled! + +_Egre_. We share with you in the affront. + +_Cow_. Yet bear it not like you with such dejection. + +_Eust_. My Coach and Horses made the ransom of our Cowardize! + +_Cow_. Pish, that's nothing, 'tis _damnum reparabile_, and soon recover'd. + +_Egre_. It is but feeding a Suitor with false hopes, and after squeeze him +with a dozen of Oaths, You are new rigg'd, and this no more remembred. + +_Eust_. And does the Court, that should be the Example and Oracle of the +Kingdom, read to us no other Doctrine? + +_Egre_. None that thrives so well as that, within my knowledge. + +_Cow_. Flattery rubs out; but since great men learn to admire themselves, +'tis something crest-faln. + +_Egre_. To be of no Religion, argues a subtle, moral understanding, and it +is often cherish'd. + +_Eust_. Piety then, and valour, nor to do and suffer wrong, are they no +virtues? + +_Egre_. Rather vices, _Eustace_; Fighting! what's fighting? it may be in +fashion among provant swords, and Buff-jerkin men: But w'us that swim in +choice of Silks and Tissues; though in defence of that word Reputation, +which is indeed a kind of glorious nothing, to lose a dram of blood must +needs appear as coarse as to be honest. + +_Eust_. And all this you seriously believe? + +_Cow_. It is a faith that we will die in, since from the black Guard to +the grim Sir in Office, there are few hold other Tenets. + +_Eust_. Now my eyes are open, and I behold a strong necessity that keeps +me knave and coward. + +_Cow_. Y'are the wiser. + +_Eust_. Nor can I change my copy, if I purpose to be of your society. + +_Egre_. By no means. + +_Eust_. Honour is nothing with you? + +_Cow_. A meer bubble; for what's grown common, is no more regarded. + +_Eust_. My sword forc'd from me too, and still detain'd, you think 'tis no +blemish. + +_Egre_. Get me a Batton, 'tis twenty times more Court-like, and less +trouble. + +_Eust_. And yet you wear a sword. + +_Cow. Yes, and a good one, a _Milan_ hilt, and a _Damasco_ blade for +ornament, not use, the Court allows it. + +_Eust_. Will't not fight of it self? + +_Cow_. I ne'er tri'd this, yet I have worn as fair as any man; I'm sure +I've made my Cutler rich, and paid for several weapons, _Turkish_ and +_Toledo's_, two thousand Crowns, and yet could never light upon a fighting +one. + +_Eust_. I'le borrow this, I like it well. + +_Cow_. 'Tis at your service, Sir, a Lath in a Velvet Scabbard will serve +my turn. + +_Eust_. And now I have it, leave me; y'are infectious, the plague and +leprosie of your baseness spreading on all that do come near you; such as +you render the Throne of Majesty, the Court, suspected and contemptible; +you are Scarabee's that batten in her dung, and have no palats to taste +her curious Viands; and like Owles, can only see her night deformities, +but with the glorious splendor of her beauties, you are struck blind as +Moles, that undermine the sumptuous Building that allow'd you shelter: you +stick like running ulcers on her face, and taint the pureness of her +native candor, and being bad Servants, cause your Masters goodness to be +disputed of; you make the Court, that is the abstract of all Academies, to +teach and practise noble undertakings, (where courage sits triumphant +crown'd with Lawrel, and wisdom loaded with the weight of honour) a School +of Vices. + +_Egre_. What sudden rapture's this? + +_Eust_. A heavenly one, that raising me from sloth and ignorance, (in +which your conversation long hath charm'd me) carries me up into the air +of action, and knowledge of my self; even now I feel, but pleading only in +the Court's defence (though far short of her merits and bright lustre) a +happy alteration, and full strength to stand her Champion against all the +world, that throw aspersions on her. + +_Cow_. Sure he'll beat us, I see it in his eyes. + +_Egre_. A second _Charles_; pray look not, Sir, so furiously. + +_Eust_. Recant what you have said, ye Mungrils, and lick up the vomit ye +have cast upon the Court, where you unworthily have had warmth and +breeding, and swear that you, like Spiders, have made poison of that which +was a saving Antidote. + +_Egre_. We will swear any thing. + +_Cow_. We honour the Court as a most sacred place. + +_Egre_. And will make oath, if you enjoyn us to't, nor knave, nor fool, +nor coward living in it. + +_Eust_. Except you two, you Rascals. + +_Cow_. Yes, we are all these, and more, if you will have it so. + +_Eust_. And that until you are again reform'd and grown new men, you +ne'ere presume to name the Court, or press into the Porter's Lodge but for +a penance, to be disciplin'd for your roguery, and this done with true +contrition. + +_Both_. Yes, Sir. + +_Eust_. You again may eat scraps, and be thankful. + +_Cow_. Here's a cold breakfast after a sharp nights walking. + +_Eust_. Keep your oaths, and without grumbling vanish. + +_Both_. We are gone, Sir. [_Exeunt_. + +_Eust_. May all the poorness of my spirit go with you: the fetters of my +thraldom are fil'd off, and I at liberty to right my self; and though my +hope in _Angellina's_ little, my honour (unto which compar'd she's +nothing) shall, like the Sun, disperse those lowring Clouds that yet +obscure and dim it; not the name of Brother shall divert me, but from him, +that in the world's opinion ruin'd me, I will seek reparation, and call +him unto a strict accompt. Ha! 'tis near day, and if the Muses friend, +Rose-cheek'd _Aurora_, invite him to this solitary Grove, as I much hope +she will, he seldome missing to pay his vows here to her, I shall hazard +to hinder his devotions--The door opens, 'tis he most certain, and by's +side my Sword. Blest Opportunity. + +_Enter_ Charles. + +_Char_. I have o'er-slept my self, and lost part of the morn, but I'le +recover it: Before I went to bed, I wrote some Notes within my Table-book, +which I will now consider. Ha! what means this? What do I with a Sword? +Learn'd _Mercury_ needs not th' aid of _Mars_, and innocence is to it self +a guard; yet since Arms ever protect Arts, I may justly wear and use it; +for since 'twas made my prize, I know not how I'm grown in love with't, +and cannot eat nor study, and much less walk without it. But I trifle, +matters of more weight ask my judgment. + +_Eust_. Now, Sir, treat of no other Theme, I'le keep you to it, and see +y'expound it well. + +_Char_. _Eustace_! + +_Eust_. The same, Sir, your younger Brother, who, as duty binds him, hath +all this night (turn'd out of door) attended, to bid Good-morrow t'ye. + +_Char_. This not in scorn, commands me to return it. Would you ought else? + +_Eust_. O much, Sir, here I end not, but begin; I must speak to you in +another strain than yet I ever us'd; and if the language appear in the +delivery rough and harsh, you (being my Tutor) must condemn your self, +from whom I learn'd it. + +_Char_. When I understand (be't in what style you please) what's your +demand, I shall endeavour, in the self-same phrase, to make an answer to +the point. + +_Eust_. I come not to lay claim to your birth-right, 'tis your own, and +'tis fit you enjoy it; nor ask I from you your learning and deep +knowledge; (though I am not a Scholar as you are) I know them Diamonds by +your sole industry, patience and labour, forc'd from steep Rocks, and with +much toil attended, and but to few that prize their value granted, and +therefore without Rival freely wear them. + +_Char_. These not repin'd at (as you seem t'inform me) the motion must be +of a strange condition, if I refuse to yield to't; therefore, _Eustace_, +without this tempest in your looks, propound it, and fear not a denial. + +_Eust_. I require then (as from an Enemy, and not a Brother) the +reputation of a man, the honour, not by a fair War won when I was waking, +but in my sleep of folly ravish'd from me; with these, the restitution of +my Sword, with large acknowledgment of satisfaction, my Coach, my Horses; +I will part with life, ere lose one hair of them; and, what concludes all, +my Mistris _Angellina_, as she was before the musical Magick of thy tongue +inchanted and seduc'd her. These perform'd, and with submission, and done +publickly, at my Father's and my Uncle's intercession, (that I put in too) +I perhaps may listen to terms of reconcilement; but if these, in every +circumstance, are not subscrib'd to, to the last gasp I defie thee. + +_Char_. These are strict conditions to a Brother. + +_Eust_. My rest is up, nor will I give less. + +_Char_. I'm no Gamester, _Eustace_, yet I can ghess your resolution stands +to win or lose all; I rejoyce to find ye thus tender of your honour, and +that at length you understand what a wretched thing you were, how deeply +wounded by your self, and made almost incurable in your own hopes, the +dead flesh of pale cowardise growing over your festred reputation, which +no Balm or gentle Unguent could ever make way to; and I am happy that I +was the Surgeon that did apply those burning corrosives, that render you +already sensible o'th' danger you were plung'd in, in teaching you, and by +a fair gradation, how far, and with what curious respect and care the +peace and credit of a man within, (which you ne'er thought till now) +should be preferr'd before a gawdy outside; pray you fix here, for so far +I go with you. + +_Eust_. This discourse is from the subject. + +_Char_. I'le come to it, Brother; but if you think to build upon my +ruines, you'll find a false foundation: your high offers, taught by the +Masters of dependencies, that by compounding differences 'tween others, +supply their own necessities, with me will never carry't: as you are my +Brother, I will dispense a little, but no more than honour can give way +to; nor must I destroy that in my self I love in you; and therefore let +not hopes or threats persuade you I will descend to any composition for +which I may be censur'd. + +_Eust_. You shall fight then. + +_Char_. With much unwillingness with you; but if there's no evasion-- + +_Eust_. None. + +_Char_. Hear yet a word; as for the Sword and other fripperies, in a fair +way send for them, you shall have 'em. But rather than surrender +_Angellina_, or hear it again mention'd, I oppose my breast unto loud +thunder, cast behind me all tyes of Nature. + +_Eust_. She detain'd, I'm deaf to all persuasion. + +_Char_. Guard thy self then. _Eustace_; I use no other Rhetorick. + +_Enter_ Miram. + +_Mir_. Clashing of swords so near my house! Brother oppos'd to Brother! +here's no fencing at half sword; hold, hold, _Charles, Eustace_. + +_Eust_. Second him, or call in more help. Come not between us, I'le not +know nor spare you; D'ye fight by th' book? + +_Char_. 'Tis you that wrong me, off Sir, and suddenly, I'le conjure down +the Spirit that I have rais'd in him. + +_Eust_. Never, _Charles_, 'tis thine, and in thy death, be doubled in me. + +_Mir_. I'm out of breath, yet trust not too much to't, Boys; for if you +pause not suddenly, and hear reason, do, kill your Uncle, do; but that I'm +patient, and not a cholerick old teasty fool, like your Father, I'd dance +a matachin with you, should make you sweat your best bloud for't; I would, +and it may be I will. _Charles_, I command thee, and _Eustace_, I entreat +thee, th'art a brave Spark, a true tough-metall'd blade, and I begin to +love thee heartily; give me a fighting Courtier, I'le cherish him for +example; in our Age they're not born every day. + +_Char_. You of late, Sir, in me lov'd learning. + +_Mir_. True, but take me w'ye, _Charles_; 'twas when young _Eustace_ wore +his heart in's breeches, and fought his Battels in Complements and +Cringes, when's understanding wav'd in a flanting Feather, and his best +contemplation look'd no further than a new fashion'd doublet; I confess +then, the lofty noise your Greek made, only pleas'd me; but now he's +turn'd an _Oliver_ and a _Rowland_, nay, the whole dozen of Peers are +bound up in him: Let me remember, when I was of his years, I did look very +like him; and did you see my Picture as I was then, you would swear that +gallant _Eustace_ (I mean, now he dares fight) was the true substance, and +the perfect figure. Nay, nay, no anger, you shall have enough, _Charles_. + +_Char_. Sure, Sir, I shall not need addition from him. + +_Eust_. Nor I from any, this shall decide my interest; though I am lost to +all deserving men, to all that men call good, for suffering tamely +insufferable wrongs, and justly slighted by yielding to a minute of delay +in my revenge, and from that made a stranger unto my Father's house and +favour, o'erwhelm'd with all disgraces; yet I will mount upward, and force +my self a fortune, though my birth and breeding do deny it. + +_Char_. Seek not, _Eustace_, by violence, what will be offer'd to you on +easier composition; though I was not alli'd unto your weakness, you shall +find me a Brother to your bravery of spirit, and one that, not compell'd +to't by your sword, (which I must never fear) will share with you in all +but _Angellina_. + +_Mir_. Nobly said, _Charles_, and learn from my experience, you may hear +reason, and never maim your fighting; for your credit, which you think you +have lost, spare _Charles_, and swinge me, and soundly; three or four +walking velvet Cloaks, that wear no swords to guard 'em, yet deserve it, +thou art made up again. + +_Eust_. All this is Lip-salve. + +_Mir_. It shall be Hearts-ease, _Eustace_, ere I have done; as for thy +Father's anger, now thou dar'st fight, ne'er fear it, for I've the dowcets +of his gravity fast in a string, I will so pinch and wring him, that, +spight of his authority, thou shalt make thine own conditions with him. + +_Eust_. I'le take leave a little to consider. + +_Char_. Here comes _Andrew_. + +_Mir_. But without his comical and learned face; what sad disaster, +_Andrew_? + +_And_. You m[a]y read, Sir, a Tragedy in my face. + +_Mir_. Art thou in earnest? + +_And_. Yes, by my life, Sir; and if now you help not, and speedily, by +force, or by persuasion, my good old Master (for now I pity him) is ruin'd +for ever. + +_Char_. Ha, my Father! + +_And_. He, Sir. + +_Mir_. By what means? speak. + +_And_. At the suit of Monsieur _Lewis_; his house is seiz'd upon, and he +in person is under guard, (I saw it with these eyes, Sir) to be convey'd +to _Paris_, and there Sentenc'd. + +_Mir_. Nay, then there is no jesting. + +_Char_. Do I live, and know my Father injur'd? + +_And_. And what's worse, Sir, my Ladie _Angellina_-- + +_Eust_. What of her? + +_And_. She's carri'd away too. + +_Mir_. How? + +_And_. While you were absent, a crew of Monsieur _Lewis_ friends and +kinsmen, by force, brake in at th' back part of the house, and took her +away by violence; faithful _Andrew_ (as this can witness for him) did his +best in her defence, but 'twould not do. + +_Mir_. Away, and see our Horses sadled, 'tis no time to talk, but do. +_Eustace_, you now are offer'd a spatious field, and in a pious War to +exercise your valour; here's a cause, and such a one, in which to fall is +honourable, your dutie and reverence due to a fathers name commanding it; +but these unnatural jars arising between Brothers (should you prosper) +would shame your victory. + +_Eust_. I would do much, Sir, but still my rep[u]tation! + +_Mir. Charles_ shall give you all decent satisfaction; nay, joyn hands, +and heartily, why, this is done like Brothers; and as old as I am, in this +cause that concerns the honour of our Family, Monsieur _Lewis_ (if reason +cannot work) shall find and feel there's hot blood in this arm, I'le lead +you bravely. + +_Eust_. And if I follow not, a cowards name be branded on my forehead. + +_Char_. This spirit makes you a sharer in my fortunes. + +_Mir_. And in mine, of which (_Brisac_ once freed, and _Angellina_ again +in our possession) you shall know, my heart speaks in my tongue. + +_Eust_. I dare not doubt it, Sir. [_Exeunt_. + + + + +ACTUS V. SCENA II. + + +_Enter_ Lewis, Brisac, Angelli[n]a, Sylvia, _Officers_. + +_Lew_. I'm deaf to all perswasions. + +_Bri_. I use none, nor doubt I, though a while my innocence suffers, but +when the King shall understand how false your malice hath inform'd him, he +in justice must set me right again. + +_Ang_. Sir, let not passion so far transport you, as to think in reason, +this violent course repairs, but ruins it; that honour you would build up, +you destroy; what you would seem to nourish, if respect of my preferment +or my pattern may challenge your paternal love and care, why do you, now +good fortune has provided a better Husband for me than your hopes could +ever fancy, strive to rob me of him? In what is my Lord _Charles_ +defective, Sir? unless deep Learning be a blemish in him, or well +proportion'd limbs be mulcts in nature, or, what you only aim'd at, large +Revenues, are, on the sudden, grown distasteful to you. Of what can you +accuse him? + +_Lew_. Of a Rape done to Honour, which thy ravenous lust made thee consent +to. + +_Syl_. Her lust! you are her Father. + +_Lew_. And you her Bawd. + +_Syl_. Were you ten Lords, 'tis false; the pureness of her chaste thoughts +entertains not such spotted instruments. + +_Ang_. As I have a Soul, Sir. + +_Lew_. I am not to be alter'd; to sit down with this disgrace, would argue +me a Peasant, and not born Noble: all rigour that the Law, and that +increase of power by favour yields, shall be with all severity inflicted; +you have the King's hand for't, no Bail will serve, and therefore at your +perils, Officers, away with 'em. + +_Bri_. This is madness. + +_Lew_. Tell me so in open Court, and there I'le answer you. + +_Enter_ Miramont, Charles, Eustace, Andrew. + +_Mir_. Well overtaken. + +_Char_. Ill if they dare resist. + +_Eust_. He that advances but one step forward dies. + +_Lew_. Shew the King's Writ. + +_Mir_. Shew your discretion, 'twill become you better. + +_Char_. Y'are once more in my power, and if again I part with you, let me +for ever lose thee. + +_Eust_. Force will not do't, nor threats; accept this service from your +despair'd of _Eustace_. + +_And_. And beware your Reverend Worship never more attempt to search my +_Lilly pot_, you see what follows. + +_Lew_. Is the King's power contemn'd? + +_Mir_. No, but the torrent o' your wilful folly stopp'd. And for you, good +Sir, if you would but be sensible, what can you wish, but the satisfaction +of an obstinate will, that is not endear'd to you? rather than be cross'd +in what you purpos'd, you'll undo your Daughter's fame, the credit of your +judgment, and your old foolish Neighbour; make your Estates, and in a Suit +not worth a Cardecue, a prey to Advocates, and their buckram Scribes, and +after they have plum'd ye, return home like a couple of naked Fowles +without a feather. + +_Char_. This is a most strong truth, Sir. + +_Mir_. No, no, Monsieur, let us be right Frenchmen, violent to charge; but +when our follies are repell'd by reason, 'tis fit that we retreat, and +ne'er come on more: Observe my learned _Charles_, he'll get thee a Nephew +on _Angellina_ shall dispute in her belly, and suck the Nurse by Logick: +and here's _Eustace_, he was an Ass, but now is grown an _Amadis_; nor +shall he want a Wife, if all my Land, for a Joynture, can effect: Y'are a +good Lord, and of a gentle nature, in your looks I see a kind consent, and +it shews lovely: and do you hear, old Fool? but I'le not chide, hereafter, +like me, ever doat on Learning, the meer belief is excellent, 'twill save +you; and next love Valour, though you dare not fight your self, or fright +a foolish Officer, young _Eustace_ can do it to a hair. And, to conclude, +let _Andrew_'s farm b' encreas'd, that is your penance, you know for what, +and see you rut no more; you understand me. So embrace on all sides. + +_I'le pay those Bilmen, and make large amends, +Provided we preserve you still our Friends_-- [Exeunt. + + + * * * * * + + +Prologue. + +_But that it would take from our modesty +To praise the Writer, or the Comedy, +Till your fair suffrage crown it, I should say, +Y'are all most welcome to no vulgar Play; +And so far w'are confident: And if he +That made it, still lives in your memorie, +You will expect what we present to night, +Should be judged worthy of your ears and sight. +You shall hear_ Fletcher _in it, his true strain, +And neat expressions; living he did gain +Your good opinions; but now dead commends +This Orphan to the care of Noble Friends; +And may it raise in you content and mirth, +And be received for a legitimate birth. +Your grace erects new Trophies to his fame, +And shall, to after-times, preserve his name._ + + +Epilogue. + +_'Tis not the hands, or smiles, or common way +Of approbation to a well lik'd Play, +We only hope; but that you freely would +To th' Author's memory so far unfold, +And shew your loves and liking to his Wit, +Not in your praise, but often seeing it; +That being the grand assurance that can give +The Poet and the Player means to live._ + + + + +APPENDIX. + +_In the following references to the text the lines are numbered from the +top of the page, including titles, acts, stage directions, &c., but not, +of course, the headline. Where, as in the lists of Persons Represented, +there are double columns, the right-hand column is numbered after the +left._ + +It has not been thought necessary to record the correction of every turned +letter nor the substitution of marks of interrogation for marks of +exclamation and _vice versa_. Full-stops have been silently inserted at +the ends of speeches and each fresh speaker has been given the dignity of +a fresh line: in the double-columned folio the speeches are frequently run +on. Only misprints of interest in the Quartos and the First Folio are +recorded. + + + +THE ELDER BROTHER: VARIANTS IN THE QUARTOS. + +(A) The | Elder Brother, | A | Comedy. | Acted at the Black Friers, by +his | Majesties Servants. | Printed according to the true Copie. | Written +by John Fletcher Gent. | London, | Imprinted by F.K. for J.W. and J.B. | +1637. + +(B) The | Elder Brother | A | Comedie. | Acted at the Blacke Friers, by +his | Majesties Servants. | Printed according to the true Copie. | Written +by John Fletcher Gent. | London, | Imprinted by F.K. for J.W. and J.B. | +1637. + +(C) The | Elder Brother: | A | Comedie. | Acted at the private house in +Blacke Fryers, | with great Applause, by His late | Majesties Servants. | +Printed according to the true Copie. | Written by Francis Beaumont, and +John Fletcher, Gent. | The second Edition, Corrected and Amended. | +London, | Printed for Humphrey Moseley, and are to be sold at | his Shop +at the Princes Armes in St. Paules Church yard. | 1651. + +(D) The | Elder Brother, | A | Comedy. | Acted at the Black Friers by +| His Majesties Servants. | Printed according to the true Copy. | Written +by John Fletcher Gent. | London: | Printed in the Year, 1661. + +(E) The | Elder Brother: | A Comedy. | As it is now Acted at the +Theatre Royal, | By His Majesties Servants. | Written by Francis Beaumont, +and John Fletcher, Gent. | London, | Printed by T.N. for D.N. and T.C. +and are to be sold by George Marriott, at the Sign of the Temple | near +the Inner Temple Gate in Fleetstreet. | M. DC. LXXVIII. + +(This Edition was published the year before the publication of the Second +Folio. I have not had an opportunity of examining it, but an American +correspondent, who kindly collated my proof-sheets with the copy in the +Boston Public Library, has sent me his notes. The text is practically that +of the Second Folio.) + + + +APPENDIX + +p. 1, +l. 5. A-D] The Speakers of the Play. +l. 29. A-D _omit_ here and in similar cases at the beginning of a scene] +Enter. A-D _omit_] and. + +p. 2, +l. 14. A-D] others hands. +l. 15. C] Coach. +l. 20. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Frow. C] of body and of. +l. 24. B and C] vertues. + +p. 3, +l. 8. A-D] pleasure. +l. 14. A-D] state. +l. 18. C] the publique. +l. 31. A-C] kings. +l. 32. A-C] in the Country. + +p. 4, +l. 14. C] up a. +l. 19. A-C] such one. +l. 30. C] pleasure. +l. 33. A-D _omit_] and. + +p. 5, +l. 9. C _omits_] quite, +l. 38. A, B and D] Would 'ee. +l. 39. C] as my M'r. + +p. 6, +l. 16. A-D _add_] Ex. +l. 20. B and C] put in. +l. 27. 2nd Folio _misprints_] my. + +p. 7, +l. 5. A] to buttry. +l. 11. C] Hoe, Lackey. +l. 18. D] and to. +l. 21. A-D _print the stage direction after_ adorer. +l. 29. B and C] loves. +l. 30. C] with service. + +p. 8, +l. 10. B and C] the palm of. +l. 28. B and C] and Bucolicks. +l. 29. B and C] guard. +l. 32. B and C] pleasures. + +p. 9, +l. 2. 2nd Folio] Husband. +l. 26. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Compaions. +l. 40. A] Hee's indeed. + +p. 10, +l. 12. B and C] nor your. +l. 17. A-C] Trumpe. +l. 33. D] promise. + +p. 11, +l. 2. C] much each ease. +l. 3. C] for a shelfe of. +ll. 14 and 17. D] travail...travailes. +l. 19. A] _Eust_. If take. + B] _Eust_. If this take. D also prints _Eust_. here. + C] _Bri_. If this take. +l. 32. A-D _add_] Finis Actus primi. +l. 33. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Seundus. + +p. 12, +l. 1. C] But know to. +l. 8. C] entail'd to ye. +l. 20. C] spirit and the. +l. 25. C] tedious speech. +l. 29. A-D] spake. +l. 36. C] a Jesuite. +l. 40. B and C] fat and feesible. A-D] then you sit. + +p. 13, +l. 9. A] on't. +l. 27. A] pox of Venice. +l. 36. B and C] girles and. + +p. 14, +l. 6. A-D] vent. +l. 16. A] Libratyan Almanack. B-D] Library an. +l. 20. B and C] o'er the ears. +ll. 24 and 25. A] the art. +l. 26. A-D] snowes. + +p. 15, +l. 2. A-D] state. +l. 9. C _omits_] shall. +l. 12. A and C] land too, to. +l. 16. A-D] state. +l. 31. A-D omit] these. +l. 34. B and C] auras. +l. 36. A-D] nor do not weigh. + +p. 16, +l. 1. B and C] your brains. +l. 4. A-D] University Lovaine. +l. 8. B and C _add_] Exit. +l. 11. B and C] to my. +l. 18. B and D] nor behaviour. +ll. 18 and 19. C _omits_] no gentle...in 'em. +l. 30. C] a fine. +l. 33. A-D] state. + +p. 17, +l. 3. B-D] in mine. +l. 28. A-D] Is at's. +l. 34. A-C] spirits. +l. 38. A-D _with variations of_ Ex, _and_ Ex'] _Ex_. Lent. + +p. 18, +l. 2. B and C] Males and. +l. 12. A-C] metamaticall. +l. 25. C] bread for. + +p. 19, +l. 2. A and D] younger. B and C _omit_] to. +l. 3. A-D] the heir will do. +l. 8. B] fame. +l. 28. A-C] and her lodging. +l. 34. B and C] stie. + +p. 20, +l. 1. B and C] Crown's awry. +l. 2. 2nd Folio] slip. +l. 6. B] your bookes. C] I have not swept your. +l. 16. C] ages. +l. 20. B] nere have marryed. C] nere have warmed. +l. 23. C] I not regarded them. +l. 31. A--D] as daintily. +l. 39. A] Gammer. + +p. 21, +l. 3. B--D] do find. +l. 7. C] the happy day that. +l. 9. B--D] my great care. +l. 15. A--D] state. B and C _omit_] a. +l. 19. A--D] on our. +l. 28. A, B and D read _Not._ for _Lew._ C _omits_] Lew. +l. 29. A--D _print for Not.] Lewis, and make Not.'s speech begin_ + If it had been etc. + +p. 22, +l. 6. C] he may make. +l. 18. C] an annual. +l. 33. C] set it ready. +l. 36. 2nd Folio _misprints_] clook. + +p. 23, +l. 2. C] to make. +l. 23. B _omits_] a. C] What noise is this, my. +l. 37. C] squeaking's. + +p. 24, +l. 2. C] angry Sir. +l. 15. C] And there's. +l. 27. C] today. +l. 36. A--C] O you'ld. +l. 37. C and D] book. + +p. 25, +l. 2. C] elder. +l. 15. C] very wide. +l. 18. A--D] book. +l. 25. C] I come not for. +l. 32. C] I'le assure you. +l. 36. C] Thee, thou art. + +p. 26, +l. 4. A--D] Gincracke. +l. 11. C] venter. +l. 12. A] t'ee. +l. 38. C] sensible when the. C _omits_] when it. + +p. 27, +l. 11. A and D] speak. B and C] spake. + +p. 28, +l. 4. B and C] the care. +l. 11. B and C] women. +l. 13. C _adds after_ prethee] 'twill be tenne times better. +l. 22. A--D _omit_] and. +l. 24. C _omits_] Is your's ready. +l. 25. C _omits all the Priest's speech_. +l. 27. C _omits_] Do...exactly. +l. 29. C] fault Sir. + +p. 29, +l. 5. A--D] nor he. +l. 7. B and C _omit_] Faith. +l. 9. B and C] so think I too. +l. 15. D _omits_] and. +l. 29. C _omits_] but. +l. 32. C] Will you set too your hand brother. +l. 38. C _omits_] only. + +p. 30, +l. 10. A--C _omit_] to. +l. 17. C] want man. +l. 20. B and C] Lampes. + +p. 31, +l. 22. A and C] want present. +l. 31. C] fingred morn. +l. 33. C] till your. + +p. 32, +l. 7. C] and stop. +l. 11. B--D] Has. +l. 12. B--D] Has. +ll. 12 and 13. C _omits_] I hope...an Ass. +l. 21. C] are gay and. +l. 24. C] Can you love. +l. 36. A] failling. +ll. 36 and 37. A--D] all elements. + +p. 33, +l. 2. C] shall close. +l. 12. A and B] our inside. +l. 28. 2nd Folio _misprints_] your. +l. 29. C] your fingers. +l. 37. B and C] hand too. + +p. 34, +l. 1. C] He shall Coxcombe. C _omits_] Jew, thou...asses Coxcomb. +l. 11. C] friends. +l. 12. C] Land, pox on't has got the wench too. + +p. 35, +l. 5. C] sots. +l. 11. B and C] thy owne. +l. 21. A--D] cowardliness. +l. 29. 2nd Folio] house I'll, +l. 34. B and C] their Country. +l. 40. A and D] and cover. + +p. 37, +l. 3. E and 2nd Folio] chafer. +l. 24. B and C] travelling language. +l. 27. B and C] but those. +l. 29. A--D _omit_] And. +l. 30. D and 2nd Folio _omit_] they. +l. 32. B and C] pruning and dressing up. +l. 39. B and C] and a little. + +p. 38, +l. 10. A--D _omit_] Enter. 2nd Folio] Angellia. +l. 13. C] a strange set. +l. 22. C] in bed. +l. 31. A and D] fie. +l. 36. B _omits] Ang., making it a continuation of Char's previous +speech._ B and C _omit_] Sir. + +p. 39, +l. 5. C] blushes too, men. +l. 14. A--C] Ceremony. +l. 16. B and C] should seal. C] hand. +l. 17. B--D] an Heretick. +ll. 17 and 18. C] would do. +l. 20. C] slumbers. +l. 21. C] see your. +l. 26. C] clip ye. C] kiss ye. +l. 31. C] Queens to wear. + +p. 40, +l. 2. A--C] anything, anything fit. +ll. 5 and 6. C] mingled, Mistris, and. +ll. 6 and 7. C] should consent now, I. C _omits_] fo'rt. +l. 8. C] beauteous sparkle. +l. 9. B and C] part of life run. +l. 11. C] that which. +ll. 17 and 18. C] flowers woe us to tumble; yet. +ll. 22 and 23. C] but your affections. +l. 24. C _omits_] A good night t'ye, and. +ll. 24 and 25. C] fall on you, and lock. +l. 33. C] they'l not be kept out. +l. 34. A--D _omit_] fit. + +p. 41, +l. 4. C] her ore sufficiently. +l. 16. C] my. +l. 21. D _omits_] may. +ll. 24 and 25. E and 2nd Folio print stage direction after Eustace's +speech. +l. 39. C] too; to think is. + +p. 42, +l. 2. A, B and D] sign of man. +l. 20. B and D] I'll talke thee. +l. 30. C] poore slight despicable thing. + +p. 43, +l. 9. B] In truth, Sir. +l. 12. C] one who. +l. 13. C] so frighted 'um, so. +l. 17. A and C] frosts. +l. 22. B and C] Glo-wormes taile. +l. 30. C] the reason. +l. 35. A--D] to you. + +p. 44, +ll. 8 and 9. C] and shall to as Ile handle it, it shall. +l. 30. C and D] spake. +l. 31. A--C] ere I done. + +p. 46, +l. 1. C, _after_ his own, _inserts_] _And._ I warrant thee Wench. +l. 9. C] _after_ grant a little, _inserts line 11 here instead of below_. +l. 12. A--C] will put. +l. 23. C] with his wife within. +l. 24. A--D] Farm in Cuckolds. + +p. 47, +l. 4. A] poll'd off. +l. 15. A and D] an hundred. +l. 29. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Agne. + A--D] Hee's. + +p. 48, +l. 6. B and C] women. +l. 12. A--D] a' has a. +l. 22. C] us Scholars. +l. 36. A _adds_] _Lew_ before _Cow_. + +p. 49, +l. 12. A--C] do nor suffer. +l. 13. B and C] are there. +l. 33. A--C] thinke's no. +l. 38. A, B and D] no use. + +p. 50, +ll. 17 and 18. B and C] make you the Court. + +p. 51, +ll. 24--26. A--D _place the stage direction after_ opens _instead of +after_ opportunity. +l. 37. C] None Sir. + +p. 52, +l. 2. B and C] doores. + +p. 53, +l. 4. A and B] ever could. +l. 7. B and C] plung'd in, teaching. +l. 8. A] how fare. +l. 9. B and C] you were thought. +l. 17. A--D] would dispense. + +p. 54, +l. 3. B and C] till thine. + +p. 55, +l. 12. B and C] and will. +l. 19. 2nd Folio _misprints_] my. + +p. 56, +l. 3. A] you valour. +l. 8. 2nd Folio _misprints_] reptation. +l. 11. C] and old as. +l. 22. 2nd Folio] Angellia. +l. 23. C] perswasion. +l. 25. B and C] falsly. +l. 27. A] so fare. +ll. 28 and 29. C] repairs, but rather ruines that honour...up; you destroy +what. +l. 30. C] or my reputation. +l. 31. C _omits_] good. +l. 34. C] Love Charles. +l. 35. C] limbs held. + +p. 57, +l. 1. C] thy honour. +l. 4. C] thou. +l. 6. B and C] entertain. +l. 18. C] Kill if. +l. 35. A--D] states. C _omits_] and. + +p. 58, +l. 8. A--D] affect it. +l. 10. _After_ old Fool C _inserts_] _Bri._ Your brother Sir. +l. 18. C] we continue still good. + C _adds_] Finis. +l. 22. A and D] Till you. +l. 25. C] live. + +p. 59, + A, B and D _add_] Finis. + +Hereafter like me, ever doate on learning, +The meere beleefe is excellent, 'twill save you; +And next love valour, though you dare not fight +Your selfe, or fright a foolish Officer, 'young _Eustace_ +Can doe it to a haire. And to conclude, +Let _Andrew's_ Farm b'encreas'd, that is your penance, +You know for what, and see you rut no more, +You understand me, So embrace on all sides; + Ile pay those Billmen, and make large amends; + Provided we preserve you still our friends.-- _Exeunt._ + +[_A few misprints in the above have been corrected in square brackets to +agree with _B.] + + +THE ELDER BROTHER: VARIANTS IN THE EGERTON MS. + +There is a manuscript version of this play in the Egerton collection, +British Museum (No. 1994). It is, presumably, a transcript of one of the +early copies. It differs frequently from the Folio and the Quartos in +single words and, occasionally, in lines but, as its authority is of +doubtful value, it has seemed best to give a collation of it here, apart +from the collations of the Quartos. + +_Begins_ Actus Primus. Scaena I. + +p. 1, +l. 29. _Omits_ and. + +p. 2, +l. 7. foolish idle. +l. 14. others hands. +l. 24. vertues. + +p. 3, +l. 9. kinde. +l. 13. purposed. +l. 14. state. +l. 30. great mans. +l. 31. kings. + +p. 4, +l. 28. Merry wenches. + +p. 5, +l. 9. Cellar dry. +l. 14. knowing pallat. +l. 39. ever should ask. + +p. 6, +l. 6. how ere. +l. 20. put in act. +l. 24. was addicted to. +l. 31. blest with. +l. 39. _Omits_ what yet ...Flatter +l. 40. _Omits_ without. + _Also gives stage direction in margin_:--Trampling. + +p. 7, +l. 15. _Omits_ _Chas._ Your blessing, Sir. +l. 18. Countries garb. +l. 25. _Stage direction_:--plucks out a booke and reades. +l. 29. loves. +l. 30. with service. +l. 31. And report. +l. 32. Pray you first make use of it. +l. 37. Exit cum sociis. + +p. 8, +l. 4. lay it. +l. 5. and the. +l. 6. leads to. +l. 10. the palme of. +l. 13. ore worne. +l. 25. _Omits_ and there ...bring me. +l. 29. guard. + +p. 9, +l. 11. from thee. +l. 16. Quiddits from this time to Adam. +l. 19. estates. +l. 22. that bends not. +ll. 23 and 24. fix their. +l. 37. any sense. +l. 38. my yonger Eustace. + +p. 10, +l. 12. nor your. +l. 14. shall never. +l. 16. _Omits_ and but ... that I. +l. 32. I did sir ... a word. He's. + +p. 11, +l. 18. would resist. +l. 19. _Apportions thus_:--_Egre._ If this take now we are made for ever. +_Cowsy._ And will rebell it. Exeunt all but Andrew. +l. 21. my Master. +ll. 24 and 25. out their. +l. 29. blade he was wont to be. +l. 30. heele ring 'em...as will shake. + +p. 12, +l. 1. But know to. +l. 5. a fool, an. +l. 8. to yee. +ll. 24 and 25. new Congees. +l. 28. _Omits_ therefore. +l. 30. _Omits_ Sir. +l. 32. Do you know what learning is brother? + +p. 13, +l. 15. _Omits_ Brother. +l. 36. foolish girles & puppets. + +p. 14, +l. 5. to my best. +l. 6. vent. +l. 13. You. +l. 16. library an Almanacke. +l. 26. Snowes. +l. 36. to build up. +l. 39. Charles shall set. + +p. 15, +l. 12. Land too to your. +l. 13. he is no heir. +l. 16. my state. +l. 19. staies pulling. +l. 31. know things. +l. 36. nor do not weigh. + +p. 16, +l. 4. University Lovaine. +l. 11. look now to my. +l. 22. spit fire, snow. +l. 23. that we call. +l. 30. a fine youth. +l. 33. his state ... Did you see my Mistris. + +p. 17, +l. 9. that ride. +l. 11. that have ... and speake. +l. 23. I shall kisse. +l. 27. thy master. +l. 34. no spirits a'th. +l. 36. Shall we have. + +p. 18, +l. 2. males and. +l. 4. Red Sea early a question. +l. 12. Metamatical. +ll. 19 and 20. are above. +l. 22. ravish with. +l. 25. thy bread. +l. 26. wouldst blanch an Almond. _Omits_ the Sect...invented that. +l. 27. the trenchers. +l. 33. scraps. +l. 36. the drink. +l. 38. not he. + +p. 19, +ll. 2 and 3. bowle, my yonger Mr. that must be now the heire will do all +these. +l. 28. and her lodging. +l. 34. sty growne. + +p. 20, +l. 1. Crowne's awry, two. +l. 6. swept your books. +l. 9. has pleased. +l. 10. I beleeve her Constellation bee loose. +ll. 15 and 16. and bound up in monstrous [sic] smooth. +l. 25. you one Sir. +l. 31. goes as daintily. + +p. 21, +l. 2. a secret out. +l. 3. I doe find. +l. 6. _Adds_ and Servants. +ll. 7 and 8. the happy day that. +l. 9. my great care. +l. 15. state...in Joynter. +l. 19. drawn of our. +l. 28. _Not._ [character]. land. +ll. 29 and 30. _Lew._ T'was not conditional. _Not._ If it had been found, +twas but a fault in the writing &c. + +p. 22, +l. 1. seeks, kills. +l. 5. as in others. +l. 6. yet hee may. +l. 8. that's been. +l. 14. Cook, Butler, Lillie. +ll. 25--28. and bee serviceable...see your Sauces bee all poynant and +sharpe in...looke to yor roast and bakt meates made things--Is the. +l. 31. the roome cleare...open for all. +l. 34. Cordes they be not. +l. 35. _Omits_ abroad. +l. 38. cannot slip. + +p. 23, +l. 6. wee shall see. +l. 10. not trouble. +l. 11. Sweet-heart. +l. 12. Exeunt. Andrew stayes. +l. 13. ripe? make but my farme as much more and kisse her. +l. 16. pleasure; he can do her no harme, and if it were. +l. 22. _Adds stage direction_ A noyse. +l. 23. What noyse. +l. 24. Note. The words "within a Parenthesis" are omitted in the MS. but +("my head is broken") is in parentheses in MS. It is obvious that these +words were intended as a direction to the printer and have got into the +text in error. +l. 25. Collicke. +l. 29. tis faithful. +l. 37. squeaking is that. + +p. 24, +ll. 1 and 2. Geese and Turkeys for the spit Sir...are angry too that makes +the medley. +l. 3. thus every. +l. 4. _Omits_ yet. +l. 9. foul. +l. 16. make 'em drink. +l. 25. I never have. +l. 26. that's a small. +l. 27. married Sir this day. +l. 33. _Omits_ young, sweet, and modest. +ll. 36 and 37. with his booke. +l. 38. for him. + +p. 25, +l. 2. elder. +l. 4. shoulders now Sir. +l. 10. Notary, Servants. +ll. 16 and 17. Cherub's ... with wings of modest. +l. 18. booke. +l. 24. I come not for. +l. 28. and a sharp to reprehend. +l. 32. Ile assure. + +p. 26, +l. 4. he can get. +l. 27. is here too. + +p. 27, +l. 1. book, when it fell on your head, Sir. +l. 6. but new string. +l. 12. Must my. +l. 19. stubbornst willfullest. +l. 21. provide a wife for you. +l. 27. How dost thou Charles what still still at. +l. 38. I have boy, unto. + +p. 28, +l. 4. yo'ur care. +l. 12. _Omits_ and wish my Brother fortune. +l. 13. _Adds_ it will bee ten times better. +l. 22. _Omits_ and. +l. 24. _Gives this line to Eustace_. +l. 29. fault Sir. +l. 32. thy owne. +l. 35. kickses. + +p. 29, +ll. 1 and 2. dark secret. +l. 4. admirable. +l. 5. nor he. +l. 7. _Omits_ Faith. +l. 9. think I to. +l. 29. Man was my argument. +l. 32. Will yo'u sett to your hand brother. +l. 35. I say Son you trifle time. +l. 38. if you had shewed me land only. + +p. 30, +l. 17. though. +l. 20. with Dim Lamps. +l. 32. and blush. +l. 38. than life. +l. 39. me love. + +p. 31, +l. 5. yours still and your glory. +l. 6. I your. +l. 31. rosy morn. +l. 35. those lights. + +p. 32, +l. 1. there be lesse. +l. 12. into feaver, +l. 24. can you love with. +l. 30. I confesse. +l. 31. but yee shall. +ll. 36 and 37. all Elements. + +p. 33, +l. 5. _Omits_ one stay. +l. 17. nor horses. +l. 30. art thou in. + +p. 34, +l. 1. Many asses. +l. 13. Pox could he not. +l. 20. take up. +l. 24. No, no, no. + +p. 35, +l. 1. mettle. +l. 11. thy own. +l. 12. my own. +l. 21. Cowardlines...upon. +ll. 33 and 34. seene but their owne Country smoak, would grow. + +p. 36, +l. 10. a meer. +l. 21. on 'em. +l. 31. in my armes. + +p. 37, +l. 13. his two noble warlike. +l. 16. as they came newly from. +l. 23. to fall into a greene. +l. 24. travailing language. +l. 29. _Omits_ And. +ll. 30 and 31. to distinguish between a. +l. 32. pruning and dressing up. +l. 36. _Omits_ Sir. +l. 39. and a little. + +p. 38, +l. 1. fit Sir. +l. 13. strang. +ll. 36-38. _gives these lines as continuation of Charles's speech_. + +p. 39, +l. 5. too men. +l. 15. ours healthful. +l. 21. see. +l. 26. _Omits_ Nature. +l. 26. clip yee. +ll. 26 and 27. kiss yee. +l. 37. have need. +l. 38. studied among. + +p. 40, +l. 2. anything, anything fit. +l. 8. beauties favour. +l. 9. part of life run. +ll. 17 and 18. flowers woe us to't; yet ... these pleasures. +l. 24. _Omits_ A good night t'ye, and. _Begins_ May the dew etc. +l. 32. are at. +l. 38. I command. + +p. 41, +l. 1. _Omits the line_ Enter Eustace &c. +l. 16. my own. +l. 24. Snatches out his. +l. 38. _Omits_ to me. + +p. 42, +l. 1. neither wit. +l. 2. of man. +l. 13. on 'em. +l. 20. lie talke. +l. 24. your mercy. +l. 30. _Omits_ ye despicable creatures. +l. 34. _Omits_ What did you bring to carry her? + +p. 43, +l. 3. _Omits_ Enter Miramont. +l. 5. _Eust_ (char.). +l. 6. by friends. +l. 9. In truth, I ... duty Sir. +l. 11. Bring in a. +l. 17. nor frost. +l. 21. but yong neither. +l. 22. tayle. +l. 24. have the right. +l. 25. are Anagrams. +l. 34. hear and hereafter laugh at. +l. 35. you dear. + +p. 44, +l. 5. such question. +l. 9. old goate. +l. 10. _Omits_ her. +l. 12. _Omits_ that's a. +l. 21. a feast for him to make him fat. +ll. 23 and 24. and we'le breake. +l. 27. like servants. +l. 31. take them. + +p. 45, +l. 16. I must needs tast of. +ll. 17 and 18. tender of you, and for your healths and credlts sake must +tell you, you have all you are like to have. +l. 19. _Omits_ And. +l. 23. is truth Sir...find it, you. +l. 26. of an. +l. 35. scoffing cheating queane. + +p. 46, +l. 3. his lease. +l. 8. loving and. +l. 12. will put. +l. 14. marke hlm. +l. 15. thank you for thy office. +l. 17. Cue Sir, and second me. By. +l. 21. _Omits_ me. +l. 21. alas nothing. +l. 24. Cockold Tenure. +l. 30. Andrew wilt thou. +l. 32. be the Justice. +l. 34. in thee. + +p. 47, +l. 3. arizing. +l. 5. _Omits_ O. +l. 15. the farme...to it. +l. 20. troth Sir there is...mine, (_omits_ Sir). +l. 29. have got an ague that you shake...he's. + +p. 48, +l. 6. women. +l. 8. of my brother. +l. 21. ride the better. +ll. 23 and 24. _Puts_ Andrew _after_ promise. _Omits_ Andrew _after_ Farm. +ll. 36 and 37. reparable a losse and easily recoverd. + +p. 49, +l. 2. dozen or 2 of oaths. +l. 6. so well, that on my. +l. 8. rules out. +l. 12. nor suffer. +l. 13. are there no. +l. 16. with us. +l. 38. no use. + +p. 50, +ll. 10--12. _Omits_ that batten...no palats. +ll. 17 and 18. make you the. +l. 36. Antidote, or--. + +p. 51, +l. 4. are reformd. +l. 28. Ere I went. +ll. 31--34. is in itself a guard and yet since...may weare...nor can eat +or study. +l. 37. None Sir. + +p. 52, +l. 4. not done in scorn. +l. 11. what you. +l. 14. ask from. +l. 17. toil ascended. +l. 22. what this tempest. +l. 37. I goe lesse. + +p. 53, +l. 4. ever could. +l. 7. plung'd in teachlng. +l. 9. you were. +l. 20. nor threats. +l. 25. Noe, Noe. +l. 26. and the other. +l. 33. _Adds_ They fight. + +p. 54, +l. 2. in time. +l. 3. till thine. +l. 8. as your father is. +l. 15. late in me Sir. +ll. 22 and 23. _Omits_ nay, the...are bound. +l. 25. that Eustace. +l. 26. and that the perfect. +l. 27. Nay, no. +l. 28. Sure I shall not need, Sir. +ll. 30, 31. _Omits_ to all that men call good. +l. 33. to. + +P. 55, +l. 7. and so deserve it. +l. 12. gravity in...and will. +l. 13. him, if he rebel, that. +l. 19. read a tragedy in my face, Sir. + +p. 56, +l. 4. _Omits_ and such a one. +l. 10. why, so, this is. +l. 11. and old. +l. 23. Death...perswasion. +l. 25. falsely. +l. 26. let me. +l. 28. but ruins rather that. +l. 30. reputation. +l. 34. love Charles. +l. 35. held mulcts. +l. 36. in the. + +p. 57, +l. 1. to mine honour. +l. 11. _Omits_ yields. +l. 15. _Adds_ Will you doe what you are sworne too. +l. 23. loose you. +l. 32. in that. +l. 35. states. + +p. 58, +l. 6. but is an Amadis. +l. 8. effect it. +l. 9. kind of consent. +l. 14. Andrew have his farme increasd. +l. 15. and rut no. +l. 17. the Billmen. + +_The MS. gives the_ Epilogue _but not the_ Prologue. + +It also adds the following verses:-- + +Epigram: + +A freemans life is like a pilgrimage +Whats his life then that lives in mariage +Tis Sisiphus his toyle that with a stone +Doth doe what surely for ease must be done +His laboures Journey's endles, tis no Riddle +Since he's but halfe on's way that stands in th'middle. + + + +_Ad Janum_. + +Take Comfort Janus, never feare thy head +Which to the quick belongs, not to the dead +Thy wife did lye with one, thou being dead drunke +Thou art no Cuckold though shee bee a Punke. + +Tis not the state nor soveraintie of Jove +could draw thy pure affections from my love +nor is there any Venus in the Skyes +could from thy looks with draw my greedy eyes. + + + + +THE SPANISH CURATE + +A = First Folio; B = Second Folio. + +p. 60, +ll. 3-41. Omitted in A. +l. 42. A _omits_] and. +l. 46. A] heirs. + +p. 61, +l. 38. A] Encreasing by. +l. 39. B _misprints_] Vialante. + +p. 63, +l. 17. A] base and abject. + +p. 64, +l. 2. A] Or modestie. +l. 18. B _misprints_ whow. +l. 31. A] wish that it. + +p. 65, +l. 17. A] By this example. +l. 25. A] or of my. + +p. 66, +l. 8. A] of mine own. +l. 26. A] Mirth, and Seck. + +p. 68, +l. 2. A] have you. + +p. 70, +l. 28. A] provoking it call. + +p. 73, +l. 13. A] To me, of, that misery against my will. + +p. 74, +l. 33. A] A _omits_] as. + +p. 75, +l. 18. A] A gives this line to _Lean_. +l. 31. A _adds_] exit lea. _and gives_ +ll. 32 and 33 _to_ Ars. +l. 34. A _omits_] Exeunt Mil. Ars. + +p. 76, +l. 29. A] _A comma has been substituted for a full-stop after_ weathers. + +p. 77, +l. 25. A] look out it. +l. 39. A] has. + +p. 79, +l. 3. A] often-times. +l. 15. B _prints_] Dig. +l. 28. A _omits_] to. +ll. 33 and 34. A _gives these lines to_ Lea. + +p. 80, +l. 22. B _misprints_] yesterday. + +p. 82, +l. 9. A] still and the +l. 16. A] jealousies. + +p. 83, +l. 3. B] More. + +p. 84, +l. 15. A] Gentleman. + +p. 86, +l. 8. A] be a kin. +l. 10. A] 'long. + +p. 87, +l. 19. A] am both to +l. 23. A] 'Faith. + +p. 88, +l. 6. A] Y'faith. +l. 26. A] ye might. + +p. 89, +l. 4. A _adds_] Enter Amaranta. +l. 18. B _misprints_] womau. +ll. 21-34. Omitted in A. + +p. 90, +l. 22. A] lock upon me. + +p. 92, +l. 25. A _adds stage direction_] Two chaires set out. +l. 28. A _omits_] are. + +p. 93, +l. 10. A] porrage +l. 23. A] gymitrie. + + + + + +APPENDIX + + +THE ELDER BROTHER IN VERSE, FROM THE QUARTO OF 1637 (A). + + + +_Actus I. Scena I._ + + Lewis, Angellina, Sylvia. + +Nay, I must walk you farther. _Ang._ I am tyr'd Sir, +And nere shall foot it home. _L._ 'Tis for your health; +The want of exercise takes from your beauties, +And sloath dries up your sweetness: That you are +My onely Daughter and my heir, is granted; +And you in thankfulness must needs acknowledge, +You ever finde me an indulgent Father, +And open-handed. _Ang._ Nor can you tax me, Sir, +I hope, for want of duty to deserve +These favours from you. _Lew._ No, my _Angellina,_ +I love and cherish thy obedience to me, +Which my care to advance thee, shall confirm: +All that I aime at, is to winne thee from +The practise of an idle foolish state +Us'd by great Women, who think any labour +(Though in the service of themselves) a blemish +To their faire fortunes. _Ang._ Make me understand Sir, +What 'tis you point at. _Lew._ At the custome how +Virgins of wealthy families, waste their youth; +After a long sleep when you wake, your woman +Presents your breakfast, then you sleep again, +Then rise, and being trimm'd up by others hands, +Y'are led to dinner, and that ended, either +To Cards or to your Couch (as if you were +Born without motion) After this to Supper, +And then to bed; And so your life runnes round +Without variety or action Daughter. + +_Syl._ Here's a learned Lecture! _Lew._ From this idlenesse +Diseases both in body and in minde +Grow strong upon you; where a stirring nature +With wholesome exercise guards both from danger: +I'de have thee rise with the Sunne, walke, dance or hunt, +Visite the groves and springs, and learne the vertue +Of Plants and Simples: Doe this moderately, +And thou shall not with eating chalke, or coales, +Leather and oatmeale, and such other trash, +Fall into the greene sicknesse. _Syl._ With your pardon +(Were you but pleas'd to minister it) I could +Prescribe a remedy for my Ladies health, +And her delight too, farre transcending those +Your Lordship but now mention'd. _Lew._ What is it _Sylvia?_ + +_Syl_. What i'st? A noble Husband; In that word, a +Noble Husband, all content of Woman +Is wholly comprehended; He will rowse her, +As you say, with the Sunne, and so pipe to her, +As she will dance, ne're doubt it, and hunt with her, +Upon occasion, untill both be weary; +And then the knowledge of your Plants and Simples, +As I take it, were superfluous; A loving, +And but adde to it a gamesome Bedfellow, +Being the sure Physician. _Lew_. Well said Wench. + +_Ang_. And who gave you Commission to deliver +Your verdict, Minion? _Syl_. I deserve a fee, +And not a frown, deare Madam; I but speak +Her thoughts, my Lord, and what her modesty +Refuses to give voyce to; shew no mercy +To a Maidenhead of fourteene, but off with't: +Let her lose no time Sir; fathers that deny +Their Daughters lawfull pleasure, when ripe for them, +In some kinds edge their appetites to tast of +The fruit that is forbidden. _Lew_. Tis well urg'd, +And I approve it; no more blushing Girle, +Thy woman hath spoke truth, and so prevented +What I meant to move to thee: There dwells neere us +A Gentleman of blood, Mounsieur _Brisac_, +Of a faire state, sixe thousand Crowns _per annum_, +The happy Father of two hopefull Sons, +Of different breeding; Th' elder, a meere Scholar, +The younger, a quaint Courtier. _Ang_. Sir, I know them +By publique fame, though yet I never saw them; +And that oppos'd antipathy between +Their various dispositions, renders them +The general discourse and argument; +One part inclining to the Scholar _Charles_, +The other side preferring _Eustace_, as +A man compleat in Courtship. _Lew_. And which [w]ay +(If of these two you were to chuse a husband) +Doth your affection sway you? _Ang_. to be plaine, Sir, +(Since you will teach me boldnesse) as they are +Simply themselves, to neither; Let a Courtier +Be never so exact, Let him be blest with +All parts that yeeld him to a Virgin gracious, +If he depend on others, and stand not +On his owne bottomes, though he have the meanes +To bring his Mistresse to a Masque, or by +Conveyance from some great ones lips, to taste +Such favour from the Kings: or grant he purchase, +Precedency in the Country, to be sworne +A servant Extraordinary to the Queen; +Nay, though he live in expectation of +Some huge preferment in reversion; If +He Want a present fortune, at the best +Those are but glorious dreames, and onely yeeld him +A happiness in _posse_, not in _esse_; +Nor can they fetch him silkes from th' Mercer; nor +Discharge a Taylors bill; nor in full plenty +(Which still preserves a quiet bed at home) +Maintaine a family. _Lew_. Aptly consider'd, +And to my wish; but what's thy censure of +The Schollar? _Ang_. Troth (if he be nothing else) +As of the Courtier; all his Songs, and Sonnets, +His Anagrams, Acrosticks, Epigrammes, +His deep and Philosophical discourse +Of natures hidden secrets, makes not up +A perfect husband; He can hardly borrow +The Starres of the Celestial crown to make me +A tire for my head; nor _Charles_ Waine for a Coach, +Nor _Ganymede_ for a Page, nor a rich Gowne +From _Juno's_ Wardrob, nor would I lye in +(For I despaire not once to be a mother) +Under heavens spangled Canopy, or banquet +My guests and Gossips with imagin'd Nectar; +Pure _Orleans_ would doe better; no, no, father, +Though I could be well pleas'd to have my husband +A Courtier, and a Schollar, young, and valiant, +These are but gawdy nothings, if there be not +Something to make a substance. _Lew_. And what is that? + +_Ang_. A full estate, and that said, I've said all, +And get me such a one with these additions, +Farewell Virginity, and welcome wedlock. + +_Lew_. But where is such one to be met with Daughter? +A black Swan is more common, you may weare +Grey tresses ere we find him. _Ang_. I am not +So punctual in all ceremonies, I will bate +Two or three of these good parts, before Ile dwell +Too long upon the choice. _Syl_. Onely, my Lord, remember +That he be rich and active, for without these +The others yeeld no relish, but these perfect; +You must bear with small faults, Madam. _Lew_. Merry Wench, +And it becomes you well; Ile to _Brisac_, +And try what may be done; ith' mean time, home, +And feast thy thoughts with th' pleasures of a Bride. + +_Syl_. Thoughts are but airy food Sir, let her tast them. + + + + +_Actus I. Scena II._ + + + Andrew, Cooke, Butler. + +Unload part of the Library, and make roome +For th' other dozen of Carts, Ile straight be with you. + +_Co_. Why hath he more bookes? _And_. More than ten Marts send over. + +_But_. And can he tell their names? _And_. their names? he has 'em +As perfect as his _pater noster_, but that's nothing, +'Has red them over leaf by leaf three thousand times; +But here's the wonder, though their weight would sink +A Spanish Carrack, without other ballast, +He carryeth them all in his head, and yet +He walkes upright. _But_. Surely he has a strong braine. + +_And_. If all thy pipes of wine were fill'd with bookes +Made of the barkes of trees, or mysteries writ +In old moth-eaten vellam, he would sip thy Celler +Quite dry, and still be thirsty; Then for's Diet, +He eats and digests more Volumes at a meal, +Than there would be Larkes (though the sky should fall) +Devowred in a moneth in _Paris_, yet feare not +Sons oth' buttry, and kitchin, though his learn'd stomack +Cannot b' appeas'd; Hee'll seldom trouble you, +His knowing stomack contemnes your blacke Jacks, _Butler_, +And your Flagons; and _Cook_ thy boyl'd, thy roast, thy bak'd. + +_Co._ How liveth he? _And._ Not as other men doe, +Few Princes fare like him; He breakes his fast +With _Aristotle_, dines with _Tully_, takes +His watering with the Muses, sups with _Livie_, +Then walkes a turne or two in _via lactea_, +And (after six houres conference with the starres) +Sleepes with old _Erra Pater_. _But._ This is admirable. + +_And._ I'le tell you more hereafter, here's my old Master +And another old ignorant Elder, Ile upon 'em. + + _Enter_ Brisac, Lewis. + +What _Andrew_? welcome, where's my _Charles_! speake _Andrew_, +Where didst thou leave thy Master? _And._ Contemplating +The number of the sands in the high way, +And from that, purposes to make a judgement +Of the remainder in the Sea; He is Sir, +In serious study, and will lose no minute, +Nor out of 's pace to knowledge. _Lew._ This is strange. + +_And._ Yet he hath sent his duty Sir before him +In this fair manuscript. _Bri._ What have we here? +Pot-hookes and Andirons! _And._ I much pitie you, +It is the Syrian Character, or the Arabicke, +Would 'ee have it said, so great and deep a Scholar +As Master _Charles_ is, should ask blessing +In any Christian Language? Were it Greeke, +I could interpret for you, but indeed +I'm gone no farther. _Bri._ And in Greeke, you can +Lie with your smug wife _Lilly_. _And._ If I keepe her +From your French dialect, as I hope I shall Sir, +Howere she is your Laundresse, she shall put you +To th' charge of no more soape than usuall +For th' washing of your sheets. _Bri._ Take in the knave, +And let him eat. _And._ And drink too Sir. _Bri._ And drinke too Sir, +And see your Masters Chamber ready for him. + +_But._ Come Doctor _Andrew_ without Disputation +Thou shall commence ith' Celler. _And._ I had rather +Commence on a cold bak'd meat. _Co._ Thou shall ha't, Boy. _Ex._ + +_Bri._ Good Mounsieur _Lewis_, I esteeme my selfe +Much honour'd in your cleare intent, to joyne +Our ancient families, and make them one, +And 'twill take from my age and cares to live +And see what you have purpos'd but in act, +Of which your visite at this present is +A hopeful Omen; I each minute expecting +Th' arrival of my Sons; I have not wrong'd +Their Birth for want of meanes and education, +To shape them to that course each was addicted; +And therefore that we may proceed discreetly, +Since what's concluded rashly seldome prospers, +You first shall take a strict perusal of them, +And then from your allowance, your fair daughter +May fashion her affection. _Lew._ Monsieur _Brisac_, +You offer fair, and nobly, and Ile meet you +In the same line of honour, and I hope, +Being blest but with one daughter, I shall not +Appeare impertinently curious, +Though with my utmost vigilance and study, +I labour to bestow her to her worth; +Let others speak her forme, and future fortune +From me descending to her; I in that +Sit down with silenc[e]. _Bri._ You may my Lord securely, +Since fame alowd proclaimeth her perfections, +Commanding all mens tongues to sing her praises; +Should I say more, you well might censure me +(What yet I never was) a Flatterer. +What trampling's that without of Horses? + + _Enter_ Butler. + +Sir my young Masters are newly alighted. + +_Bri._ Sir now observe their several dispositions. + + _Enter_ Charles. + +Bid my Subsiser carry my Hackney to buttry, +And give him his bever; it is a civil +And sober beast, and will drink moderately, +And that done, turne him into the quadrangle. + +_Bri._ He cannot out of his University tone. + + _Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +Lackey, Take care our Coursers be well rubb'd, +And cloath'd, they have out stripp'd the wind in speed. + +_Lew._ I marry Sir, there's metal in this young fellow! +What a sheeps look his elder brother has! + +_Char._ Your blessing, Sir? _Bri._ Rise _Charles_, thou hast it. + +_Eust._ Sir, though it be unusual in the Court, +(Since 'tis the Courtiers garbe) I bend my knee, +And do expect what followes. _Bri._ Courtly begg'd. +My blessing! take it. _Eust._ Your Lordships vow'd adorer: _to Lew._ +What a thing this brother is! yet Ile vouchsafe him +The new Italian shrug-- How clownishly +The book-worme does return it! _Ch._ I'm glad y'are well; _reads._ + +_Eust._ Pray you be happy in the knowledge of +This paire of accomplish't Mounsieurs. +They are Gallants that have seen both Tropicks. + +_Br._ I embrace their love. _Egr._ which wee'l repay with servulating. + +_Cow._ And will report your bounty in the Court. + +_Bri._ I pray you make deserving use on't first: +_Eustace_, give entertainment to your friends, +What's in my house is theirs. _Eust._ Which wee'l make use of; +Let's warme our braines with half a dozen healths, +And then hang cold discourse, for wee'll speak fire-workes. _Exe._ + +_Lew._ What at his book already? _Bri._ Fy, Fy, _Charles_, +No hour of interruption? _Cha._ Plato differs +From _Socrates_ in this. _Bri._ Come lay them by; +Let them agree at leasure. _Cha._ Mans life Sir, being +So short, and then the way that leades unto +The knowledg of our selves, so long and tedious, +Each minute should be precious. _Bri._ In our care +To manage worldly business, you must part with +This bookish contemplation, and prepare +Your self for action; to thrive in this age, +Is held the blame of learning; you must study +To know what part of my land's good for th' plough, +And what for pasture; how to buy and sell +To the best advantage; how to cure my Oxen +When they're oregrown with labour. _Cha._ I may do this +From what I've read Sir; for what concerns tillage? +Who better can deliver it than _Virgil_ +In his _Georgicks_? and to cure your herds, +His _Bucolicks_ is a masterpeece; but when +He does discribe the Commonwealth of Bees, +Their industry and knowledge of the herbs, +From which they gather honey, with their care +To place it with _decorum_ in the Hive, +Their gover[n]ment among themselves, their order +In going forth and comming loaden home, +Their obedience to their King, and his rewards +To such as labour, with his punishments +Onely inflicted on the slothful Drone, +I'm ravished with it, and there reap my harvest, +And there receive the gaine my Cattle bring me, +And there find wax and honey. _Bri._ And grow rich +In your imagination; heyday heyday, +_Georgicks_, _Bucolicks_, and Bees! Art mad? + +_Cha._ No Sir, the knowledge of these guards me from it. + +_Bri._ But can you find among your bundle of bookes +(And put in all your Dictionaries that speak all tongu's) +What pleasure they enjoy, that do embrace +A well shap'd wealthy Bride? Answer me that. + +_Cha._ Tis frequent Sir in story, there I read of +All kinde of vertuous and vitious women; +The ancient Spartan Dames, and Roman Ladyes, +Their beauties and deformities, and when +I light upon a _Portia_ or _Cornelia_, +Crown'd with still-flourishing leaves of truth and goodness, +With such a feeling I peruse their fortunes, +As if I then had liv'd, and freely tasted +Their ravishing sweetness; at the present loving +The whole sexe for their goodness and example. +But on the contrary when I looke on +A _Clytemnestra_, or a _Tullia_; +The first bath'd in her husbands blood; The latter, +Without a touch of piety, driving on +Her Chariot ore her fathers breathless trunk, +Horrour invades my faculties; and comparing +The multitudes o' th' guilty, with the few +That did dye Innocents, I detest, and loathe 'm +As ignorance or Atheisme. _Bri_. You resolve then +Nere to make payment of the debt you owe me. + +_Cha_. What debt, good Sir? _Bri_. A debt I payd my father +When I begat thee, and made him a Grandsir, +Which I expect from you. _Cha_. The children Sir, +Which I will leave to all posterity, +Begot and brought up by my painefull studies, +Shall be my living issue. _Bri_. Very well. +And I shall have a general collection +Of all the quiddits from _Adam_ to this time +To be my Grandchild. _Ch_. And such a one I hope Sir +As shall not shame the family. _Bri_. Nor will you +Take care of my estate? _Cha_. But in my wishes; +For know Sir, that the wings on which my Soul +Is mounted, have long since born her too high +To stoope to any prey that scares not upwards. +Sordid and dunghil minds compos'd of earth, +In that grosse Element fix all their happiness; +But purer spirits, purg'd and refin'd, shake off +That clog of humane frailtie; give me leave +T'injoy my selfe; that place that does containe +My Bookes (the best Companions) is to me +A glorious Court, where hourely I converse +With the old Sages and Philosophers, +And sometimes for variety, I conferre +With Kings and Emperours, and weigh their Counsels, +Calling their Victories (if unjustly got) +Unto a strict accompt, and in my phancy, +Deface their ill-plac'd Statues; Can I then +Part with such constant pleasures, to embrace +Uncertaine vanities? No, be it your care +T'augment your heap of wealth; It shall be mine +T'encrease in knowledg--Lights there for my study. _Exit_. + +_Bri_. Was ever man that had reason thus transported +From all sense and feeling of his proper good? +It vexes me, and if I found not comfort +In my young _Eustace_, I might well conclude +My name were at a period! _Lew_. Hee's indeed Sir +The surer base to build on. _Bri_. _Eustace_. _Eust_. Sir. + [_Ent. Eust. Egre. Cow. & Andr. + +_Bri_. Your eare in private. _And_. I suspect my master +Has found harsh welcome, he's gon supperless +Into his study; could I find out the cause, +It may be borrowing of his books, or so, +I shall be satisfi'd. _Eust_. My duty shall Sir, +Take any forme you please; and in your motion +To have me married, you cut off all dangers +The violent heats of youth might beare me to. + +_Lew_. It is well answer'd. _Eust_. Nor shall you my Lord +For your faire Daughter ever finde just cause +To mourn your choice of me; the name of husband, +Nor the authority it carries in it +Shall ever teach me to forget to be +As I am now her servant, and your Lordships; +And but that modesty forbids, that I +Should sound the Trump of my owne deserts, +I could say my choice manners have been such, +As render me lov'd and remarkable +To th' Princes of the blood. _Cow._ Nay to the King. + +_Egre._ Nay to the King and Councel. _And._ These are Court admirers, +And ever eccho him that beares the bagg. +Though I be dull-ey'd, I see through this jugling. + +_Eust._ Then for my hopes: _Cow._ Nay certainties. _Eust._ They stand +As faire as any mans. What can there fall +In compass of her wishes which she shall not +Be suddenly possess'd of? Loves she titles? +By th' grace and favour of my princely friends, +I am what she would have me. _Bri._ He speakes well, +And I beleeve him. _Lew._ I could wish I did so. +Pray you a word Sir. He's a proper Gentleman, +And promises nothing, but what is possible. +So far I will go with you; Nay I add, +He hath won much upon me, and were he +But one thing that his brother is, the bargain +Were soone struck up. _Bri._ What's that my Lord? _Lew._ the heire. + +_And._ Which he is not, and I trust never shall be. + +_Bri._ Come, that shall breed no difference; you see +_Charles_ has giv'n ore the World; Ile undertake, +And with much ease, to buy his birthright of him +For a dry-fat of new bookes; nor shall my state +Alone make way for him, but my-elder brothers, +Who being issueless, t'advance our name, +I doubt not will add his; Your resolution? + +_Lew._ He first acquaint my daughter with the proceedings, +On these terms I am yours, as she shall be, +Make you no scruple, get the writings ready, +She shall be tractable; to-morrow we will hold +A second conference: Farewell noble _Eustace_, +And you brave Gallants. _Eust._ Ful increase of honour +Wait ever on you[r] Lordship. _And._ The Gowt rather +And a perpetual Meagrim. _Bri._ You see _Eustace_, +How I travail to possess you of a fortune +You were not born to; be you worthy of it, +Ile furnish you for a Suitor; visit her +And prosper in't. _Eust._ Shee's mine Sir, fear it not: +In all my travailes, I nere met a Virgin +That could resist my Courtship. _Eust._ If take now, +Ware made for ever, and will revel it. _Exeunt._ + +_And._ In tough Welsh parsly, which in our vulgar Tongue +Is strong hempen halters; My poore Master coo'znd, +And I a looker on! If we have studied +Our majors, and our minors, antecedents, +And consequents, to be concluded coxcombes, +W have made a faire hand on't; I am glad I h've found +Out all their plots, and their conspiracies; +This shall t' old Mounsieur _Miramont_, one, that though +He cannot read a Proclamation, yet +Dotes on learning, and loves my Master _Charles_ +For being a Schollar; I hear hee's comming hither, +I shall meet him, and if he be that old +Rough teasty blade he always us'd to be, +I'le ring him such a peale as shall go neere +To shake their belroome, peradventure, beat 'm, +For he is fire and flaxe, and so have at him. _Exit_. + + _Finis Actus primi_. + + +_Actus 2. Scena I._ + + Miramont, Brisac. + +Nay Brother, brother. _Bri._ Pray Sir be not moved, +I meddle in no business but mine own, +And in mine owne 'tis reason I should governe. + +_Mir._ But how to govern then, and understand Sir, +And be as wise as y'are hasty, though you be +My brother, and from one bloud sprung, I must tell yee +Heartily and home too. _Br._ What Sir? _Mir._ What I grieve to find +You are a foole, and an old foole, and that's two. + +_Bri._ We'l part 'em, if you please. _Mir._ No they're entailed to 'em. +Seeke to deprive an honest noble spirit, +Your eldest Son Sir? and your very Image, +(But he's so like you that he fares the worse for't) +Because he loves his booke and doates on that, +And onely studies how to know things excellent, +Above the reach of such course braines as yours, +Such muddy fancies, that never will know farther +Then when to cut your Vines, and cozen Merchants, +And choake your hide-bound Tenants with musty harvests. + +_Bri._ You go to fast. _Mir._ I'm not come too my pace yet; +Because h' has made his studie all his pleasure, +And is retyr'd into his Contemplation, +Not medling with the dirt and chaffe of nature, +That makes the spirit of the mind mud too, +Therefore must he be flung from his inheritance? +Must he be dispossess'd, and Mounsieur Gingle boy +His younger brother-- _Bri._ You forget your self. + +_Mir._ Because h' has been at Court and learn'd new tongues, +And how to speak a tedious peece of nothing; +To vary his face as Seamen do their Compass, +To worship images of gold and silver, +And fall before the she Calves of the Season, +Therefore must he jump into his brothers land? + +_Bri._ Have you done yet, and have you spake enough, +In praise of learning, Sir? _Mir._ Never enough. + +_Bri._ But brother do you know what learning is? + +_Mir._ It is not to be a justice of Peace as you are, +And palter out your time ith' penal Statutes. +To heare the curious Tenets controverted +Between a Protestant Constable, and Jesuit Cobler, +To pick natural Philosophic out of bawdry, +When your Worship's pleas'd to correctifie a Lady; +Nor 'tis not the main moral of blinde Justice, +(Which is deep learning) when your worships Tenants +Bring a light cause, and heavie Hennes before yee, +Both fat and feesible, a Goose or Pig, +And then you sit like equity with both hands +Weighing indifferently the state oth' question. +These are your quodlibets, but no learning Brother. + +_Bri._ You are so parlously in love with learning, +That I'de be glad to know what you understand, brother. +I'me sure you have read all _Aristotle_. _Mir._ Faith no, +But I beleeve, I have a learned faith Sir, +And that's it makes a Gentleman of my sort; +Though I can speak no Greek I love the sound on't, +It goes so thundering as it conjur'd Devils. +_Charles_ speakes it loftily, and if thou wert a man, +Or had'st but ever heard of _Homers Iliads_, +_Hesiod_, and the Greek Poets, thou wouldst run mad, +And hang thy self for joy th' hadst such a Gentleman +To be thy son; O he has read such things +To me! _Bri._ And you do understand 'm Brother? + +_Mir._ I tell thee no, that's not material; the sound's +Sufficient to confirme an honest man: +Good brother _Brisac_, do's your young Courtier +That weares the fine cloathes, and is the excellent Gentleman, +(The Traveller, the Souldier, as you think too) +Understand any other power than his Taylor? +Or knowes what motion is more than an Horse race? +What the moon meanes, but to light him home from Taverns? +Or the comfort of the Sun is, but to weare slash't clothes in? +And must this peece of ignorance be popt up, +Because 't can Kisse the hand, and cry sweet Lady? +Say it had been at _Rome_, and seen the Reliques, +Drunk your _Verdea_ wine, and ridde at _Naples_, +Brought home a pox of _Venice_ treacle with it, +To cure young wenches that have eaten ashes: +Must this thing therefore?-- _Bri._ Yes Sir this thing must, +I will not trust my land to one so sotted, +So grown like a disease unto his studie; +He that will fling off all occasions +And cares, to make him understand what state is, +And how to govern it, must by that reason, +Be flung himself aside from managing: +My younger boy is a fine Gentleman. + +_Mir._ He is an asse, a peece of Ginger-bread, +Gilt over to please foolish girles puppets. + +_Bri._ You are my elder Brother. _Mir._ So I had need, +And have an elder wit, thou'dst shame us all else. +Go too, I say, _Charles_ shall inherit. _Bri._ I say no, +Unless _Charles_ had a soul to understand it; +Can he manage six thousand Crowns a yeare +Out of the Metaphysicks? or can all +His learn'd Astronomy look to my Vineyards? +Can the drunken old Poets make up my Vines? +(I know they can drinke 'm) or your excellent Humanists +Sell 'm the Merchants for my best advantage? +Can History cut my hay, or get my Corne in? +And can Geometrie vent it in the market? +Shall I have my sheepe kept with a _Jacobs_ staffe now? +I wonder you will magnifie this mad man, +You that are old and should understand. _Mir._ Should, sai'st thou, +Thou monstrous peece of ignorance in office! +Thou that hast no more knowledge than thy Clerk infuses, +Thy dapper Clerk larded with ends of Latin, +And he no more than custom of offences; +Thou unrepriveable Dunce! that thy formal band strings, +Thy Ring nor pomander cannot expiate for, +Do'st thou tell me I should? Ile pose thy Worship +In thine own Libraty an Almanack, +Which thou art dayly poring on to pick out +Dayes of iniquity to cozen fooles in, +And full Moones to cut Cattel; do'st thou taint me, +That have run over Story, Poetry, +Humanity? _Bri._ As a cold nipping shadow +Does ore eares of Corne, and leave 'em blasted, +Put up your anger, what Ile do Ile do. + +_Mir._ Thou shall not doe. _Bri._ I will. _Mir._ Thou art an Asse then, +A dull old tedious Asse, th['] art ten times worse +And of lesse credit than Dunce _Hollingshead_ +The Englishman, that writes of snowes and Sheriffes. + + _Enter_ Lewis. + +_Bri._ Wel take you pleasure, here's one I must talke with. + +_Lew._ Good day Sir. _Bri._ Faire to you Sir. _Lew._ May I speake w'ye? + +_Bri._ With all my heart, I was waiting on your goodness. + +_Lew._ Good morrow Mo[n]sieur _Miramont_. _Mir._ O sweet Sir, +Keep your good morrow to coole your Worships pottage, +A couple of the worlds fooles met together +To raise up dirt and dunghils. _Lew._ Are they drawne? + +_Bri._ They shall be ready Sir, within these two houres; +And _Charles_ set his hand. _Lew._ 'Tis necessary; +For he being a joint purchaser, though your state +Was got by your owne industrie, unlesse +He seale to the Conveyance, it can be +Of no validity. _Bri._ He shall be ready, +And do it willingly. _Mir._ He shall be hang'd first. + +_Bri._ I hope your daughter likes. _Lew._ S[h]e loves him well Sir. +Young _Eustace_ is a bait to catch a woman, +A budding spritely fellow; y'are resolved then, +That all shall passe from _Charles_. _Bri._ All all, hee's nothing, +A bunch of bookes shall be his patrimony, +And more then he can manage too. _Lew._ Will your brother +Passe over his land to, to your son _Eustace_? +You know he has no heire. _Mir._ He will be flead first, +And horse-collars made of 's skin! _Bri._ let him alone, +A wilful man; my state shall serve the turne, Sir. +And how does your Daughter? _Lew._ Ready for the houre, +And like a blushing Rose that staies the pulling. + +_Bri._ To morrow, then's the day. _Lew._ Why then to morrow +Ile bring the Girle; get you the Writings ready. + +_Mir._ But hark you Monsieur, have you the vertuous conscience +To help to robb an heire, an Elder Brother, +Of that which Nature and the Law flings on him? +You were your fathers eldest son, I take it, +And had his Land, would you had had his wit too, +Or his discretion to consider nobly, +What 'tis to deale unworthily in these things; +You'l say hee's none of yours, he's his son; +And he will say, he is no son to inherit +Above a shelfe of Bookes; Why did he get him? +Why was he brought up to write and reade, and know things? +Why was he not like his father, a dumbe Justice? +A flat dull peece of flegme, shap'd like a man, +A reverend Idoll in a peece of arras? +Can you lay disobedience, want of manners, +Or any capital crime to his charge? _Lew._ I doe not, +Nor do not weigh your words, they bite not me, Sir; +This man must answer. _Bri._ I have don't already. +And giv'n sufficient reason to secure me; +And so good morrow brother to your patience. + +_Lew._ Good morrow Monsieur Miramont. _Mir._ Good night-caps +Keepe braines warme, or Maggots will breed in 'm. +Well _Charles_, thou shall not want to buy thee bookes yet, +The fairest in thy study are my gift, +And the University _Lovaine_ for thy sake, +Hath tasted of my bounty, and to vex +Th' old doting foole thy father, and thy brother, +They shall not share a _Solz_ of mine between them; +Nay more, Ile give thee eight thousand Crowns a year, +In some high strain to write my Epitaph. + + + + +_Actus II. Scaena II._ + + + Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +How do I look now my elder Brother? +Nay, t'is a handsome Suit. _Cow._ All courtly, courtly. + +_Eust._ Ile assure ye Gentlemen, my Taylor has travail'd, +And speaks as lofty Language in his bills too; +The cover of an old Book would not shew thus. +Fye, fie; what things these Academicks are? +These book-worms, how they look! _Egr._ Th'are mere Images, +No gentle motion nor behaviour in 'm, +They'l prattle ye of _primum mobile_, +And tell a story of the state of Heaven, +What Lords and Ladies govern in such houses, +And what wonders they do when they meet together, +And how they spit snow, fire, and hail like a Jugler, +And make a noise when they are drunk, which we call Thunder. + +_Cow._ They are the sneaking'st things, and the contemptiblest; +Such small-beer brains, but aske 'em any thing +Out of the Element of their understanding, +And they stand gaping like a roasted Pig; +Do they know what a Court is or a Councel, +Or how th' affairs of Christendome are manag'd? +Do they know any thing but a tyred hackney? +And they cry absurd as the Horse understood 'em. +They have made a fair youth of your elder brother, +A pretty piece of flesh. _Eust._ I thank 'm for it, +Long may he study to give me his state. +Saw you my Mistress? _Egre._ Yes, shees a sweet young woman, +But be sure you keep her from Learning. _Eust._ Songs she +May have, and read a little unbak'd Poetry, +Such as the Dablers of our time contrive, +That has no weight nor wheel to move the mind, +Nor indeed nothing but an empty sound; +She shall have cloaths, but not made by Geometry; +Horses and Coach, but of no immortal race; +I will not have a Scholar in mine house +Above a gentle Reader; They corrupt +The foolish women with their subtle problems; +Ile have my house call'd Ignorance, to fright +Prating Philosophers from entertainment. + +_Cow._ It will do well, love those that love good fashions, +Good clothes and rich, they invite men to admire 'm, +That speak the lisp of Court. Oh 'tis great Learning! +To ride well, dance well, sing well, or whistle Courtly, +Th' are rare endowments; that they have seen far Countries, +And can speak strange things, though they speak no truths, +For then they make things common. When are you married? + +_Eust._ To morrow, I think, we must have a Masque Boyes, +And of our own making. _Egre._ 'Tis not half an houres work, +A _Cupid_ and a fiddle, and the thing's done, +But let's be handsome, shall's be Gods or Nymphs? + +_Eust._ What, Nymphs with beards? _Cow._ That's true, we'l be Knights +then, +Some wandring Knights, that light here on a sudden. + +_Eust._ Let's go, let's go, I must go visit, Gentlemen, +And mark what sweet lips I must kiss to morrow. _Exeunt._ + + +_Actus II. Scena III._ + + Cook, Andrew, Butler. + +And how do's my Master? _And._ Is at's book, peace Coxcomb, +That such an unlearn'd tongue as thine should ask for him! + +_Co._ Do's he not study conjuring too? _And._ Have you +Lost any Plate, _Butler_? _But._ No, but I know +I shall to morrow at dinner. _And._ Then to morrow +You shall be turn'd out of your place for't; we meddle +With no spirits oth' Buttry, they taste too small for us; +Keep me a Pye _in folio_, I beseech thee, +And thou shall see how learnedly Ile translate him; +Shalls have good cheer to morrow? _Coo. Ex._ Lent, good cheer _Andrew_. + +_And._ The spight on't is, that much about that time, +I shall be arguing, or deciding rather, +Which are the Males or Females of red Herrings +And whether they be taken in the red Sea onely, +A question found out by _Copernicus_, +The learned Motion-maker. _Co._ I marry _Butler_, +Here are rare things; a man that look'd upon him, +Would swear he understood no more than we do. + +_But._ Certain, a learned _Andrew_. _And._ I've so much on't +And am so loaden with strong understanding, +I fear, they'l run me mad, here's a new instrument, +A metamatical glister to purge the Moon with, +When she is laden with cold flegmatick humours, +And here's another to remove the Stars, +When they grow too thick in the Firmament. + +_Co._ O heavens! why do I labour out my life +In a beef-pot? and only search the secrets +Of a Sallad; and know no farther! _And._ They are not +Reveal'd to all heads; These are far above +Your Element of Fire. _Cooke._ I could tell you +Of _Archimides_ glass to fire your coals with, +And of the Philosophers turf that nere goes out; +And _Gilbert Butler_, I could ravish thee, +With two rare inventions. _But._ What are they _Andrew_? + +_And._ The one to blanch your bread from chippings base, +And in a moment, as thou wouldst an Almond, +The Sect of the Epicureans invented that; +The other for thy trenches, that's a strong one, +To cleanse you twenty dozen in a minute, +And no noise heard, which is the wonder _Gilbert_, +And this was out of _Plato's_ new _Idea's_. + +_But._ Why, what a learned Master do'st thou serve _Andrew_? + +_And._ These are but the scrapings of his understanding, _Gilbert_; +With gods and goddesses, and such strange people +He deals, and treats with in so plain a fashion, +As thou do'st with thy boy that drawes thy drink, +Or _Ralph_ there with his kitchin boyes and scalders. + +_Coo._ But why should he not be familiar and talk sometimes, +As other Christians do, of hearty matters, +And come into the Kitchin, and there cut his breakfast? + +_But._ And then retyre to the Buttry and there eat it, +And drink a lusty bowle to my younger Master +That must be now the heir will do all these, +I and be drunk too; These are mortal things. + +_And._ My Master studies immortality. _Coo._ Now thou talk'st +Of immortality, how do's thy wife _Andrew_? My old Master +Did you no small pleasure when he procur'd her +And stock'd you in a farme. If he should love her now, +As he hath a Colts tooth yet, what sayes your learning +And your strange instruments to that my _Andrew_? +Can any of your learned Clerks avoid it? +Can ye put by his Mathematical Engine? + +_And._ Yes, or Ile break it; thou awaken'st me, +And Ile peep ith' Moon this moneth but Ile watch for him. +My Master rings, I must go make him a fire, +And conjure ore his books. _Coo_. Adieu good _Andrew_, +And send thee manly patience with thy learning. _Exeu_. + + + + +_Actus II. Scaena IV._ + + + Charles. + +I have forgot to eat and sleep with reading, +And all my faculties turn into studie; +'Tis meat and sleep; what need I outward garments, +When I can cloathe my self with understanding? +The stars and glorious planets have no Taylors, +Yet ever new they are and shine like Courtiers. +The seasons of the yeare find no fond parents, +Yet some are arm'd in silver Ice that glisters, +And sovne in gawdy green come in like Masquers: +The Silk-worme spines her owne suit and her lodging, +And has no aid nor partner in her labours: +Why should we care for any thing but knowledge, +Or look upon the world but to contemne it? + + _Enter_ Andrew. + +Would you have any thing? _Cha. Andrew_, I find +There is a flie grown o're the eye oth' Bull, +Which will go neere to blind the Constellation. + +_And_. Put a gold-ring in's nose, and that will cure him. + +_Cha_. _Ariadne's_ crown's away too; two main starres +That held it fast are slip'd out. _And_. Send it presently +To _Gallatteo_ the Italian Star-wright +Hee'll set it right againe with little labour. + +_Cha_. Thou art a pretty Schollar. _And_. I hope I shall be; +Have I swept bookes so often to know nothing? + +_Cha_. I heare thou art married. _And_. It hath pleas'd your father +To match me to a maid of his owne choosing, +I doubt her constellation's loose too, and wants nailing, +And a sweet farme he has given us a mile off Sir. + +_Cha_. Marry thy selfe to understanding, _Andrew_, +These women are _Errata_ in all Authours, +They're faire to see to, and bound up in vellam, +Smooth, white and cleare, but their contents are monstrous; +They treat of nothing but dull age and diseases. +Thou hast not so much wit in thy head, as there is +On those shelves, _Andrew_. _And_. I think I have not Sir. + +_Cha_. No, if thou had'st thould'st nere marryed a woman +In thy bosome, they're Cataplasmes made oth' deadly sins: +I nere saw any yet but mine own mother; +Or if I did, I did regard them but +As shadowes that passe by of under Creatures. + +_And_. Shall I bring you one? lie trust you with my owne wife; +I would not have your brother go beyond ye; +Th'are the prittiest natural Philosophers to play with. + +_Cha_. No, no, th'are Opticks to delude mens eyes with. +Does my younger brother speake any Greek yet, _Andrew_? + +_And_. No, but he speaks High Dutch, and that goes as daintily. + +_Cha_. Reach me the bookes down I read yesterday, +And make a little fire and get a manchet; +Make cleane those instruments of brass I shew'd you, +And 'set the great Sphere by, then take the fox tayle +And purg the bookes from dust, last take your _Lilly_, +And get your part ready. _And_. Shall I go home Sir? +My wives name is _Lilly_, there my best part lyes, Sir. + +_Cha_. I mean your Gammer, O thou dunderhead! +Would'st thou be ever in thy wives Syntaxis? +Let me have no noise nor nothing to disturb me, +I am to find a secret. _And_. So am I too, +Which if I you find, I shall make some smart for't.-- _Exeunt_. + + + + +_Actus_ 3. _Scena_ 1. + + + Lewis, Angellina; Sylvia, Notary. + +This is the day my daughter _Angellina_, +The happy, that must make you a fortune, +A large and full one, my great care has wrought it, +And yours must be as great to entertaine it; +Young _Eustace_ is a Gentleman at all points, +And his behaviour affable and courtly, +His person excellent, I know you find that, +I read it in your eyes, you like his youth, +Young handsome people should be match'd together, +Then followes handsome Ch[i]ldren, handsome fortunes; +The most part of his fathers state, my Wench, +Is ti'd in a joynture, that makes up the harmony; +And when y'are marryed. he's of that soft temper, +And so far will be chain'd to your observance, +That you may rule and turne him as you please. +What are the writings drawn on our side, Sir? + +_Not_. They are, and here I have so fetter'd him, +That if the Elder Brother set his hand to, +Not all the power of law shall ere release him. + +_Lew_. These Notaries are notable confident Knaves, +And able to doe more mischeife than an Army: +Are all your clauses sure? _Not_. Sure as proportion, +They may turne Rivers sooner than these writings. + +_Not_. Why did you not put all the lands in, Sir? + +_Lew_. Twas not condition'd. _Not_. If it had been found, +It had been but a fault made in the writing; +If not found all the Land. _Lew_. These are small Devils +That care not who has misch[ie]fe, so they make it; +They live upon the meere scent of dissension. +Tis well, tis well, Are you contented Girle? +For your wil must be known. _Ang_. A husband's welcom, +And as an humble wife He entertaine him, +No soveraignty I aime at, 'tis the mans Sir, +For she that seekes it, killes her husbands Honour: +The Gentleman I have scene, and well observ'd him, +Yet find not that grac'd excellence you promise, +A pretty Gentle man and he may please too, +And some few flashes I have hear'd come from him, +But not to admiration as to others; +Hee's young and may be good, yet he must make it, +And I may help, and help to thank him also. +It is your pleasure I should make him mine, +And't has beene still my duty to observe you. + +_Lew_. Why then let's go, And I shall love your modesty. +To horse, and bring the Coach out _Angellina_, +To morrow you will looke more womanly. + +_Ang_. So I looke honestly, I feare no eyes, Sir. _Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus III. Scaena II._ + + + Brisac, Andrew, Cooke, Lilly. + +Wait on your Master, he shall have that befits him; + +_And_. No inheritance, Sir? _Bri_. You speak like a foole, a coxcomb, +He shall have annual meanes to buy him bookes, +And find him cloathes and meat, what would he more? +Trouble him with Land? tis flat against his nature: +I love him too, and honour those gifts in him. + +_And_. Shall Master _Eustace_ have all? _Bri_. All, all, he knowes how +To use it, hee's a man bred in the world, +T'other ith' heavens: my Masters, pray be wary, +And serviceable; and Cooke see all your sawces +Be sharp and poynant in the pallat, that they may +Commend you; looke to your roast and bak'd meates hansomly, +And what new kickshawes and delicate made things-- +Is th' musick come? _But_. Yes Sir, th'are here at breakfast. + +_Bri_. There will be a Masque too, you must see this roome clean, +And _Butler_ your doore open to all good fellowes, +But have an eye to your plate, for their be Furies; +My _Lilly_ welcome, you are for the linnen, +Sort it, and see it ready for the table, +And see the bride-bed made, and looke the cords be +Not cut asunder by the Gallants too, +There be such knacks abroad; hark hither, _Lilly_, +To morrow night at twelve a clock, Ile suppe w'ye, +Your husband shall be safe, Ile send ye meat too, +Before I cannot well slip from my company. + +_And_. Will ye so, will you so, Sir? Ile make one to eate it, +I may chance make you stagger too. _Bri_. No answer, _Lilly_? + +_Lil_. One word about the linnen; Ile be ready, +And rest your worships still. _And_. And Ile rest w'yee, +You shall see what rest 'twill be: Are ye so nimble? +A man had need have ten paire of eares to watch you. + +_Bri_. Wait on your Master, for I know he wants ye, +And keep him in his studie, that the noise +Do not molest him: I will not faile my _Lilly_-- +Come in sweet hearts, all to their several duties. _Exeunt._ + +_And_. are you kissing ripe, Sir? Double but my farm +And kisse her till thy heart ake; these smocke vermin, +How eagerly they leap at old mens kisses, +They lick their lipps at profit, not at pleasure; +And if't were not for th' scurvie name of Cuckold, +He should lye with her, I know shee'l labour at length +With a good lordship. If he had a wife now, +But that's all one, lie fit him: I must up +Unto my Master, hee'l be mad with studie-- _Exit_. + + + + +_Actus III_. _Scoena III_. + + + Charles. + +What a noise is in this house, my head is broken, +Within a Parenthesis, in every corner, +As if the earth were shaken with some strange Collect, +There are stirres and motions. What Planet rules this house? + + _Enter_ Andrew. + +Who's there? _And_. Tis I Sir faithful _Andrew_. _Cha_. Come neere +And lay thine eare downe, hear'st no noise? _And_. The Cookes +Are chopping hearbs and mince meat to make pies, +And breaking Marrow-bones-- _Char_. Can they set them againe? + +_And_. Yes, yes, in brothes and puddings, and they grow stronger +For the' use of any man. _Cha_. What speaking's that? +Sure there is a massacre. _And_. Of Pigs and Geese Sir, +And Turkeys for the spit. The Cookes are angry Sirs, +And that makes up the medly. _Cha_. Do they thus +At every dinner? I nere mark'd them yet, +Nor know who is a Cook. _And_. Th'are sometimes sober, +And then they beat as gently as a Tabor. + +_Char_. What loads are these? _Andr_. Meat, meat, Sir, for the Kitchin, +And stinking Fowles the Tenants have sent in; +They'l nere be found out at a general eating; +And there's fat Venison, Sir. _Cha_. What's that? _And_. Why Deer, +Those that men fatten for their private pleasures, +And let their tenants starve upon the Commons. + +_Char_. I've red of Deer, but yet I nere eat any. + +_And_. There's a Fishmongers boy with Caviar Sir, +Anchoves and Potargo, to make ye drink. + +_Cha_. Sure these are modern, very modern meats, +For I understand 'm not. _And_. No more do's any man +From Caca merda or a substance worse, +Till they be greas'd with oyle, and rub'd with onions, +And then flung out of doors, they are rare Sallads. + +_Cha_. And why is all this, prithee tell me Andrew! +Are there any Princes to dine here to day? +By this abundance sure there should be Princes; +I've read of entertainment for the gods +At half this charge, will not six dishes serve 'em? +I never had but one, and that a small one. + +_And_. Your Brother's married this day, he's married, +Your younger brother Eustace. _Cha_. What of that? + +_And_. And all the friends about are bidden hither. +There's not a dog that knowes the house but comes too. + +_Cha_. Married? to whom? _And_. Why to a dainty Gentlewoman, +Young, sweet, and modest. _Cha_. Are there modest women? +How do they look? _And_. O you'ld blesse your self to see them. +He parts with's book, he nere did so before yet. + +_Cha_. What do's my father for 'm? _And_. Gives all his Land, +And makes your brother Heir. _Cha_. Must I have nothing? + +_And_. Yes, you must study still, and he'l maintain you. + +_Cha_. I am his eldest brother. _And_. True, you were so, +But he has leapd ore your shoulders, Sir. _Cha_. 'Tis wel, +He'l not inherit my understanding too? + +_And_. I think not, he'l scarce find tenants to let it +Out to. _Cha_. Hark, hark. _Andr_. The Coach that brings the fair +Lady. + + _Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, _Ladies_, Notary, &c. + +_And_. Now you may see her. _Cha_. Sure this should be modest; +But I do not truly know what women make of it, +_Andrew_; She has a face looks like a story, +The storie of the Heavens looks very like her. + +_And_. She has a wide face then. _Cha_. She has a Cheiubins, +Cover'd and vail'd with modest blushes. +_Eustace_ be happy, whiles poor _Charles_ is patient. +Get me my book again, and come in with me-- _Exeunt_. + + _Enter_ Brisac, Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy, Miramont. + +_Bri_. Welcome sweet Daughter, welcome noble Brother, +And you are welcome Sir, with all your writings, +Ladies most welcome; What? my angry brother! +You must be welcome too, the Feast is flat else. + +_Mir_. I am not come for your welcome, I expect none; +I bring no joyes to blesse the bed withal; +Nor songs, nor Masques to glorifie the Nuptials, +I bring an angrie mind to see your folly, +A sharp one too, to reprehend you for it. + +_Bri_. You'l stay and dine though? _Mir_. All your meat smells mustie, +Your table will shew nothing to content me. + +_Bri_. Ile answer you, here's good meat. _Mira_. But your sawce is +scurvie; +It is not season'd with the sharpness of discretion. + +_Eust_. It seems your anger is at me, dear Uncle. + +_Mir_. Thou art not worth my anger, th'art a boy, +A lump o' thy fathers lightness, made of nothing +But antick cloaths and cringes; look in thy head, +And 'twill appear a footbal full of fumes +And rotten smoke; Ladie, I pitie you; +You are a handsome and a sweet young Ladie, +And ought to have a handsome man yoak'd t'ye, +An understanding too; this is a Gincrack, +That ca[n] get nothing but new fashions on you; +For say he have a thing shap'd like a child, +'Twill either prove a tumbler or a tailor. + +_Eust_. These are but harsh words Uncle. _Mir_. So I mean 'em. +Sir, you play harsher play w' your elder brother. + +_Eust_. I would be loth to give you. _Mi_. Do not venter, +Ile make your wedding cloaths fit closer t'ee then; +I but disturb you, lie go see my nephew: + +_Lew_. Pray take a piece of rosemarie. _Mir_. Ile wear it, +But for the Ladies sake, and none of yours; +May be Ile see your table too. _Bri_. Pray do, Sir. + +_Ang_. A mad old Gentleman. _Bri_. Yes faith sweet daughter, +He has been thus his whole age to my knowledge, +He has made _Charles_ his heir, I know that certainly; +Then why should he grudge _Eustace_ any thing? + +_Ang_. I would not have a light head, nor one laden +With too much learning, as they say, this _Charles_ is, +That makes his book his Mistress: Sure, there's something +Hid in this old mans anger, that declares him +Not a mere Sot. _Bri_. Come shall we go and seal brother? +All things are readie, and the [P]riest is here. +When _Charles_ has set his hand unto the Writings, +As he shall instantly, then to the Wedding, +And so to dinner. _Lew_. Come, let's seal the book first +For my daughters Jointure. _Bri_. Let's be private in't Sir. _Exeunt_. + + + + +_Actus III. Scaena IV_. + + _Enter_ Charles, Miramont, Andrew. + +_Mir_. Nay, y'are undone. _Cha_. hum. _Mira_. Ha' ye no greater feeling? + +_And_. You were sensible of the great b[oo]ke, Sir, +When it fell on your head, and now the house +Is ready to fall, Do you feare nothing? _Cha_. Will +He have my bookes too? _Mir_. No, he has a book, +A faire one too to read on, and read wonders, +I would thou hadst her in thy studie Nephew, +And 'twere but to new string her. _Cha_. Yes, I saw her, +And me though[t] 'twas a curious peece of learning, +Handsomely bound, and of a daintly letter. + +_And_. He flung away his booke. _Mir_. I like that in him, +Would he had flung away his dulness too, +And speak to her. _Cha_. And must my brother have all? + +_Mir_. All that your father has. _Cha_. And that faire woman too? + +_Mir_. That woman also. _Cha_. He has enough then +May I not see her somtimes, and call her Sister? +I will doe him no wrong. _Mir_. This makes me mad +I could now cry for anger; these old fooles +Are the most stubborn and the wilfullest Coxcombs-- +Farewil, and fall to your booke, forget your brother; +You are my heire, and Ile provide y'a wife; +Ile looke upon this marriage, though I hate it. _Exit_. + + _Enter_ Brisac. + +Where is my son? _And_. There Sir, casting a figure +What chopping children his brother shall have. + +_Bri_. He do's well; How do'st _Charles_? still at thy book? + +_And_. Hee's studying now Sir, who shall be his father. + +_Bri_. Peace you rude Knave--Come hither _Charles_ be merry. + +_Cha_. I thank you, I am busie at my book, Sir. + +_Bri._ You must put your hand my _Charles_, as I would have you +Unto a little peece of parchment here; +Onely your name, you write a reasonable hand. + +_Cha_. But I may do unreasonably to write it. +What is it Sir? _Bri_. To passe the Land I have, Sir, +Unto your younger brother. _Cha_. Is't no more? + +_Bri_. No, no, 'tis nothing; you shall be provided for, +And new bookes you shall have still, and new studies, +And have your meanes brought in without thy care boy, +And one still to attend you. _Cha_. This shewes your love father. + +_Bri_. I'm tender to you. _And_. Like a stone, I take it. + +_Cha_. Why father, Ile go downe, an't please you let me, +Because Ide see the thing they call the Gentlewoman, +I see no woman but through contemplation, +And there Ile doe't before the company, +And wish my brother fortune. _Bri_. Doe I prithee. + +_Cha_. I must not stay, for I have things above +Require my study. _Bri_. No, thou shalt not stay, +Thou shalt have a brave dinner too. _And_. Now has he +Orethrowne himselfe for ever; I will down +Into the Celler, and be stark drunk for anger. _Exeunt_. + + + +_Actus III. Scaena V._ + + _Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, Eustace, _Priest, Ladies_, Cowsy, + _Notary_, Miramont. + +_Not_. Come let him bring his sons hand, and all's done. +Is yours ready? _Pr_. Yes Ile dispatch ye presently, +Immediately for in truth I am a hungry. + +_Eust_. Doe speak apace, for we believe exactly +Doe not we stay long Mistris? _Ang_. I find no fault, +Better things well done than want time to doe them. +Uncle, why are you sad? _Mir_. Sweet smelling blossome, +Would I were thine Uncle to thine owne content, +Ide make thy husbands state a thousand, better +A yearlie thousand, thou hast mist a man, +(But that he is addicted to his studie, +And knowes no other Mistresse than his minde) +Would weigh down bundles of these emptie kexes. + +_Ang_. Can he speak, Sir? _Mir_. Faith yes, but not to women: +His language is to heaven, and heavenlie wonder, +To Nature, and her dark and secret causes. + +_Ang_. And does he speak well there? _Mir_. O, admirably; +But hee's to bashful too behold a woman, +There's none that sees him, nor he troubles none. + +_Ang_. He is a man. _Mir_. Faith Yes, and a cleare sweet spirit. + +_Ang_. Then conversation me thinkes-- _Mir_. So think I +But it is his rugged fate, and so I leave you. + +_Ang_. I like thy noblenesse. _Eust_. See my mad Uncle +Is courting my faire Mistresse. _Lew_. Let him alone, +There's nothing that allayes an angrie mind +So soone as a sweet beautie; hee'l come to us. + + _Enter_ Brisac, Charles. + +_Eust_. My father's here, my brother too! that's a wonder, +Broke like a spirit from his Cell. _Bri_. Come hither, +Come neerer _Charles_; 'Twas your desire to see +My noble Daughter, and the company, +And give your brother joy, and then to seal boy. +You doe like a good brother. _Lew._ Marry do's he +And he shall have my love for ever for't. +Put to your hand now. _Not._ Here's the Deed Sir, ready. + +_Cha._ No, you must pardon me a while, I tell ye, +I am in contemplation, doe not trouble me. + +_Bri._ Come, leave thy studie, _Charles_. _Cha._ Ile leave my life first; +I studie now to be a man, I've found it. +Before, what man was, was but my argument. + +_Mir._ I like this best of all, he has taken fire, +His dull mist flies away. _Eust._ Will you write brother? + +_Cha._ No, brother no, I have no time for poore things, +I'm taking th' height of that bright Constellation. + +_Bri._ I say, you trifle time, Son. _Cha._ I will not seale, Sir; +I am your eldest, and Ile keepe my birthright, +For heaven forbid I should become example; +Had y'onely shew'd me Land, I had deliver'd it, +And been a proud man to have parted with it; +Tis dirt, and labour; Doe I speak right Uncle? + +_Mir._ Bravely my boy, and blesse thy tongue. _Char._ Ile forward, +But you have open'd to me such a treasure, +I find my mind free, heaven direct my fortune. + +_Mir._ Can he speak now? Is this a son to sacrifice? + +_Cha._ Such an inimitable piece of beauty +That I have studyed long, and now found onely, +That Ile part sooner with my soul of reason, +And be a plant, a beast, a fish, a flie, +And onely make the number of things up +Than yeeld one foot of Land, if she be ty'd to't. + +_Lew._ He speakes unhappily. _Aug._ and me thinkes bravely. +This the meere Schollar? _Eust._ You but vexe your selfe brother +And vex your studie too. _Cha._ Go you and studie, +For 'ts time young _Eustace_, you want both man and manners, +I've studied both, although I made no shew on't. +Goe turne the Volumes over I have read, +Eate and digest them, that they may grow in thee, +Weare out the tedious night with thy dimme Lampe, +And sooner lose the day than leave a doubt. +Distil the sweetness from the Poets Spring, +And learne to love, Thou know'st not what faire is, +Traverse the stories of the great Heroes, +The wise and civill lives of good men walke through; +Thou hast scene nothing but the face of Countries, +And brought home nothing but their empty words: +Why should'st thou weare a Jewel of this worth? +That hast no worth within thee to preserve her. + + _Beauty cleere and faire, + where the aire + Rather like a perfume dwells, + Where the violet and the rose + The blew veines in blush disclose, + And come to honour nothing else. + + Where to live neere, + And planted there, + Is to live, and still live new; + Where to gain a favour is + More then light, perpetual blisse, + Make me live by serving you. + + Deare again backe recal + to this light, + A stranger to himselfe and all; + Both the wonder and the story + Shall be yours, and eke the Glory, + I am your servant, and your thrall._ + +_Mir._ Speake such another Ode, and take all yet. +What say ye to the Scholar now? _Ang._ I wonder; +Is he your brother, Sir? _Bust._ Yes, would he were buried, +I feare hee'l make an asse of me a younger. + +_Ang._ Speake not so softly Sir, tis very likely. + +_Bri._ Come leave your finical talke, and let's dispatch, _Charles_. + +_Cha._ Dispatch? What? _Bri._ Why the land. _Cha._ You are deceiv'd, Sir, +Now I perceive what 'tis that woes a woman, +And what maintaines her when shee's woo'd: Ile stop here. +A wilfull poverty nere made a beauty, +Nor want of meanes maintain'd it vertuously: +Though land and monies be no happinesse, +Yet they are counted good additions. +That use Ile make; He that neglects a blessing, +Though he want present knowledge how to use it, +Neglects himself; May be I have done you wrong Lady, +Whose love and hope went hand in hand together; +May be my brother, that has long expected +The happie houre and blest my ignorance; +Pray give me leave Sir, I shall cleare all doubts. +Why did they shew me you? Pray tell me that? + +(_Mir._ Hee'l talke thee into a pension for thy knaverie) + +_Cha._ You happie you, why did you breake unto me? +The rosie sugred morne nere broke so sweetly: +I am a man, and have desires within me, +Affections too, though they were drown'd a while, +And lay dead, till the Spring of beautie rais'd them; +Till I saw those eyes, I was but a lump; +A Chaos of confusedness dwelt in me; +Then from those eyes shot Love, and he distinguisht, +And into forme he drew my faculties; +And now I know my Land, and now I love too. + +_Bri._ We had best remove the Maide. _Cha._ It is too late Sir. +I have her figure here. Nay frowne not _Eustace_, +There are lesse worthie soules for younger brothers; +This is no forme of silk but sanctitie, +Which wilde lascivious hearts can never dignifie. +Remove her where you will, I walk along still; +For like the light we make no separation; +You may sooner part the billowes of the Sea, +And put a barre betwixt their fellowships, +Than blot out my remembrance; sooner shut +Old time into a Den, and stay his motion, +Wash off the swift houres from his downie wings, +Or steale eternitie to stop his glasse, +Than shut the sweet Idea I have in me. +Roome for an elder brother, pray give place, Sir. + +_Mir._ Has studied duel too, take heed, hee'l beat thee. +Has frighted the old Justice into a fever; +I hope hee'l disinherit him too for an asse; +For though he be grave with yeeres, hee's a great babie. + +_Cha._ Doe not you think me mad? _Ang._ No certain, Sir, +I have heard nothing from you but things excellent. + +_Cha._ You looke upon my cloathes and laugh at me, +My scurvie clothes! _Ang._ They have rich linings Sir. +I would your brother-- _Cha._ His are gold and gawdie. + +_Ang._ But touch 'em inwardlie, they smell of Copper. + +_Cha._ Can ye love me? I am an heire, sweet Ladie, +How ever I appeare a poore dependant; +Love you with honour, I shall love so ever; +Is your eye ambitious? I may be a great man. +Is't wealth or lands you covet? my father must dye. + +_Mir._ That was well put in, I hope hee'l take it deepely. + +_Cha._ Old men are not immortal, as I take it; +Is it, you looke for, youth and handsomness? +I doe confess my brother's a handsome Gentleman, +But he shall give me leave to lead the way Ladie, +Can you love for love, and make that the reward? +The old man shall not love his heapes of gold +With a more doting superstition, +Than Ile love you. The young man his delights, +The merchant when he ploughs the angrie sea up, +And sees the mountaine billows failling on him, +As if all Elements, and all their angers +Were turn'd into one vow'd destruction; +Shall not with greater joy embrace his safetie. +Wee'l live together like two wanton Vines, +Circling our soules and loves in one another, +Wee'l spring together and weel beare one fruit; +One joy shall make us smile, and one griefe mourne; +One age go with us, and one houre of death +Shall shut our eyes, and one grave make us happie. + +_Ang._ And one hand scale the match, Ime yours for ever. + +_Lew._ Nay, stay, stay, stay. _Ang._ Nay certainly, tis done Sir. + +_Bri._ There was a contract. _Ang._ Onely conditional, +That if he had the Land, he had my love too; +This Gentleman's the heire, and hee'll maintaine it. +Pray be not angrie Sir at what I say; +Or if you be, tis at your owne adventure. +You have the out side of a pretty Gentleman, +But by my troth you[r] inside is but barren; +Tis not a face I onely am in love with, +Nor will I say your face is excellent, +A reasonable hunting face to Court the winde with; +Nor th'are not words unlesse they be well plac'd too, +Nor your sweete Dam-mes, nor your hired verses, +Nor telling me of Cloathes, nor Coach and horses, +No nor your visits each day in new suites, +Nor you[r] black patches you weare variouslie, +Some cut like starres, some in halfe Moones, some Lozenges, +(All which but shew you still a younger brother.) + +_Mir._ Gramercie Wench, thou hast a noble soule too. + +_Ang._ Nor you[r] long travailes, not your little knowledge, +Can make me doate upon you. Faith goe studie, +And gleane some goodness, that you may shew manlie; +Your Brother at my suit Ime sure will teach you; +Or onely studie how to get a wife Sir, +Y'are cast far behind, tis good you should be melancholie, +It shewes like a Gamester that had lost his money, +And t'is the fashon to weare your arme in a skarfe Sir, +For you have had a shrewd cut ore the fingers. + +_Lew._ But are y' in earnest? _Ang._ Yes, beleeve me father, +You shall nere choose for me, y'are old and dim Sir, +And th' shaddow of the earth ecclips'd your judgement, +Y'have had your time without controwle deare father, +And you must give me leave to take mine now Sir. + +_Bri._ This is the last time of asking, Will you set your hand to? + +_Cha._ This is the last time of answering, I will never. + +_Bris._ Out of my doores. _Char._ Most willingly. _Miram._ He shall Jew, +Thou of the Tribe of _Man-y-asses_ Coxcombe, +And never trouble thee more till thy chops be cold foole. + +_Ang._ Must I be gone too? _Lew._ I will never know thee. + +_Ang._ Then this man will; what fortune he shall run, father, +Bee't good or bad, I must partake it with him. + + _Enter_ Egremont. + +When shall the Masque begins? _Eust._ Tis done alreadie, +All, all, is broken off, I am undone friend, +My brother's wise againe, and has spoil'd all, +Will not release the land, has wone the Wench too. + +_Egre._ Could he not stay till th' Masque was past? W'are ready. +What a skirvie trick's this? _Mir._ O you may vanish, +Performe it at some Hall, where the Citizens wives +May see't for six pence a peece, and a cold supper. +Come let's goe _Charles_; And now my noble Daughter, +Ile sell the tiles of my house ere thou shall want Wench. +Rate up your dinner Sir, and sell it cheape, +Some younger brother will take 't up in commodities. +Send you joy, Nephew _Eustace_, if you studie the Law, +Keep your great pippin-pies, they'l goe far with ye. + +_Cha._ Ide have your blessing. _Bri._ No, no, meet me no more, +Farewell, thou wilt blast mine eyes else. _Cha._ I will not. + +_Lew._ Nor send not you for Gownes. _Ang._ Ile weare course flannel first. + +_Bri._ Come let's goe take some counsel. _Lew._ Tis too late. + +_Bri._ Then stay and dine, It may be we shall vexe 'em. _Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus 4. Scaena 1._ + + + _Enter_ Brisac, Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +Nere talke to me, you are no men but Masquers, +Shapes, shadowes, and the signes of men, Court bubbles, +That every breath or breakes or blowes away, +You have no soules, no metal in your bloods, +No heat to stir ye when ye have occasion, +Frozen dull things that must be turn'd with leavers; +Are you the Courtiers and the travail'd Gallants? +The spritely fellowes, that the people talk of? +Ye have no more Spirit than three sleepy sops. + +_Eust._ What would ye have me doe, Sir? _Bri._ Follow your brother, +And get ye out of doores, and seeke your fortune, +Stand still becalm'd, and let an aged Dotard, +A haire-brain'd puppie, and a bookish boy, +That never knew a blade above a penknife, +And how to cut his meat in Characters, +Crosse my designe, and take thine owne Wench from thee, +In mine owne house too? Thou dispis'd poore fellow! + +_Eust._ The reverence that I ever bare to you Sir, +Then to my Uncle, with whom't had been but sawcinesse +T'have been so rough-- _Egre._ And we not seeing him +Strive in his owne cause, that was principal, +And should have led us on, thought it ill manners +To begin a quarrel here. _Bri._ You dare doe nothing. +Doe you make your care the excuse of your cowardlinesse? +Three boyes on hobbie-horses with three penny halberts, +Would beat you all. _Cow._ You must not say so. _Bri._ Yes, +And sing it too. _Cow._ You are a man of peace, +Therefore we must give way. _Bri._ Ile make my way; +And therefore quickly leave me, or Ile force you; +And having first torne off your flaunting feathers, +Ile tramble on 'em; and if that cannot teach you +To quit my house, Ile kick ye out of my gates; +You gawdie glow-wormes carrying seeming fire, +Yet have no heat within ye. _Cow._ O blest travaile! +How much we owe thee for our power to suffer? + +_Egre._ Some spleenative youths now that had never seen +More than thy Countrie smoak, will grow in choler. +It would shew fine in us. _Eust._ Yes marry would it, +That are prime Courtiers, and must know no angers, +But give thankes for our injuries, if we purpose +To hold our places. _Bri._ Will you find the doore? +And finde it suddenlie, you shall lead the way, Sir, +With your perfum'd retinew, and cover +The now lost _Angellina_, or build on it, +I will adopt some beggers doubtful issue +Before thou shall inherit. _Eust._ Wee'l to councel, +And what may be done by mans wit or valour +Wee'l put in execution. _Bri._ Doe, or never +Hope I shall know thee. _Le._ O Sir, have I found you? [_Exeunt._ + _Ent. Lewis._ + +_Bri._ I never hid my selfe, whence flows this fury? +With which as it appeares, you come to fright me. + +_Lew._ I smell a plot, meere conspiracy +Among ye all to defeate me of my daughter, +And if she be not suddenly delivered, +Untainted in her reputation too, +The best of France shall know how I am juggled with. +She is my heire, and if she may be ravisht +Thus from my care, farewel Nobilitie; +Honour and blood are meer neglected nothings. + +_Bri._ Nay then, my Lord you go too far, and tax him +Whose innocencie understands not what feare is; +If your unconstant daughter will not dwell +On certainties, must you thenceforth conclude, +That I am fickle? What have I omitted, +To make good my integritie and truth? +Nor can her lightnesse, nor your supposition +Cast an aspersion on me. _Lew._ I am wounded +In fact, nor can words cure it: doe not trifle, +But speedilie, once more I doe repeate it, +Restore my daughter as I brought her hither. +Or you shall heare from me in such a kinde, +As you will blush to answer. _Bri._ all the world +I think conspires to vex me, yet I will not +Torment my selfe; some spriteful mirth must banish +The rage and melancholie which hath almost choak'd me, +T'a knowing man tis Physick, and tis thought on, +One merrie houre Ile have in spight of fortune, +To cheare my heart, and this is that appointed, +This night Ile hugge my _Lilly_ in mine armes, +Provocatives are sent before to cheare me; +We old men need 'em, and though we pay deare, +For our stolne pleasures, so it be done securely; +The charge much like a sharp sawce gives 'm relish. +Well honest _Andrew_, I gave you a farme, +And it shall have a beacon to give warning +To my other Tenants when the Foe approaches; +And presently, you being bestowed else where, +Ile graffe it with dexteritie on your forehead; +Indeed I will _Lilly_. I come poore _Andrew_. _Exit._ + + + + +_Actus IV. Scaena II._ + + _Enter_ Miramont, Andrew. + +Do they chafe roundly? _And._ As they were rubb'd with soap, Sir, +And now they sweare alowd, now calme again, +Like a ring of bells whose sound the wind still alters, +And then they sit in councel what to doe, +And then they jar againe what shall be done; +They talke of Warrants from the Parliament, +Complaints to the King, and forces from the Province, +They have a thousand heads in a thousand minutes, +Yet nere a one head worth a head of garlick. + +_Mir._ Long may they chafe, and long may we laugh at 'em, +A couple of pure puppies yok'd together. +But what sayes the young Courtier Master _Eustace_, +And his two warlike friends? _And._ They say but little, +How much they think I know not; they looke ruefully, +As if they had newly come from a vaulting house, +And had beene quite shot through 'tween winde and water +By a she Dunkirke, and had sprung a leake, Sir. +Certaine my master was too blame. _Mir._ Why _Andrew_? + +_And._ To take away the Wench oth' sudden from him, +And give him no lawful warning, he is tender; +And of a young girles constitution, Sir, +Readie to get the greene sickness with conceit; +Had he but tane his leave innavailing language, +Or bought an Elegie of his condolement, +That th' world might have tane notice, he had beene +An Asse, 't had beene some favour. _Mir._ Thou sayest true, +Wise _Andrew_, but these Schollars are such things +When they can prattle. _And._ Very parlous things Sir. + +_Mir._ And when they gaine the Libertie to distinguish +The difference 'twixt a father and a foole, +To looke below and spie a younger brother +Pruning up and dressing up his expectations +In a rare glasse of beauty, too good for him: +Those dreaming Scholars then turne Tyrants, _Andrew_, +And shew no mercy. _And._ The more's the pittie, Sir. + +_Mir._ Thou told'st me of a trick to catch my brother, +And anger him a little farther, _Andrew_, +It shall be onely anger I assure thee, +And little shame. _And._ And I can fit you, Sir; +Hark in your eare. _Mir._ Thy wife? _And._ So I assure ye; +This night at twelve a clock. _Mir._ Tis neat and handsome; +There are twentie Crownes due to thy project _Andrew_; +I've time to visit _Charles_, and see what Lecture +He reades to his Mistresse. That done, Ile not faile +To be with you. _And._ Nor I to watch my Master-- _Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus IV. Scaena III._ + + Angellina, Sylvia, _with a taper._ + +I'me worse than ere I was; for now I feare, +That that I love, that that I onely dote on; +He followes me through every roome I passe, +And with a strong set eye he gazes on me, +As if his spark of innocence were blowne +Into a flame of lust; Vertue defend me. +His Uncle to is absent, and 'tis night; +And what these opportunities may teach him-- +What feare and endlesse care tis to be honest! +To be a maide, what miserie, what mischiefe! +Would I were rid of it, so it were fairlie. + +_Syl._ You need not feare that, will you be a childe still? +He followes you, but still to looke upon you; +Or if he did desire to lie with ye, +Tis but your owne desire, you love for that end; +Ile lay my life, if he were now abed w'ye, +He is so modest, he would fall a sleepe straight. + +_Ang_. Dare you venter that? _Syl_. Let him consent, and have at ye; +I feare him not, he knowes not what a woman is, +Nor how to find the mysterie men aime at. +Are you afraid of your own shadow, Madam? + +_Ang_. He followes still, yet with a sober face; +Would I might know the worst, and then I were satisfied. + +_Syl_. You may both, and let him but goe with ye. + +_Cha_. Why doe you fle me? What have I so ill +About me or within me to deserve it? + +_Ang_. I am going to bed Sir. _Cha_. And I am come to light ye; +I am a maide, and 'tis a maidens office. + +_Ang_. You may have me to bed Sir, without a scruple, +And yet I am charie too who comes about me. +Two Innocents should not feare one another. + +_Syl_. The Gentleman sayes true. Pluck up your heart, Madam. + +_Cha_. The glorious Sun both rising and declining +We boldly looke upon; even then sweet Ladie, +When like a modest bride he drawes nights curtaines, +Even then he blushes, that men should behold him. + +_Ang_. I feare he will perswade me to mistake him. + +_Syl_. Tis easily done, if you will give your minde to't. + +_Ang_. Pray ye to your bed. _Cha_. Why not to yours, dear Mistress, +One heart and one bed. _Ang_. True Sir, when 'tis lawful; +But yet you know-- _Cha_. I would not know, forget it; +Those are but sickly loves that hang on Ceremonie, +Nurst up with doubts and feares, ours high and healthful, +Full of beleefe, and fit to teach the Priest; +Love shall seale first, then hands confirme the bargaine. + +_Ang_. I shall be an Heretique if this continue. +What would you doe a bed? you make me blush, Sir. + +_Cha_. Ide see you sleepe, for sure your sleepes are excellent +You that are waking such a noted wonder, +Must in your slumber prove an admiration: +I would behold your dreames too, if't were possible; +Those were rich showes. _Ang_. I am becomming Traitor. + +_Cha_. Then like blew _Neptune_ courting of an Hand, +Where all the perfumes and the pretious things +That wait upon great Nature are laid up, +Ide clip it in mine armes, and chastly kiss it, +Dwell in your bosome like your dearest thoughts, +And sigh and weepe. _Ang_. I've too much woman in me. + +_Cha_. And those true teares falling on your pure Chrystals, +Should turne to armelets for great Queenes 't adore. + +_Ang_. I must be gone. _Cha_. Do not, I will not hurt ye; +This is to let you know, my worthiest Lady, +Y'have clear'd my mind, and I can speak of love too; +Feare not my manners, though I never knew +Before these few houres what a beautie was, +And such a one that fires all hearts that feele it; +Yet I have read of vertuous temperance, +And studied it among my other secrets, +And sooner would I force a separation +Betwixt this Spirit and the case of flesh, +Than but conceive one rudeness against chastitie. + +_An[g]_. Then we may walk. _Cha_. And talk of any thing, +Any thing fit for your eares, and my language; +Though I was bred up dull I was ever civil; +Tis true, I have found it hard to looke on you, +And not desire; Twil prove a wise mans task; +Yet those desires I have so mingled still +And tempered with the quality of honour, +That if you should yeeld, I should hate you for't. +I am no Courtier of a light condition, +Apt to take fire at every beautious face. +That onely serves his will and wantonness, +And lets the serious part run by +As thin neglected sand. Whitness of name, +You must be mine; why should I robbe my selfe +Of that that lawfully must make me happy? +Why should I seeke to cuckold my delights, +And widow all those sweets I aime at in you? +We'l loose our selves in _Venus_ groves of mirtle +Where every little bird shall be a _Cupid_, +And sing of love and youth, each winde that blowes +And curles the velvet leaves shall breed delights, +The wanton springs shall call us to their bankes, +And on the perfum'd flowers wee'l feast our senses, +Yet wee'l walk by untainted of their pleasures, +And as they were pure Temples wee'l talk in them. + +_Ang_. To bed, and pray then, we may have a faire end +Of our faire loves; would I [w]ere worthy of you, +Or of such parents that might give you thankes; +But I am poore in all but in your love. +Once more, good night. _Cha_. A good night t'ye, and may +The dew of sleepe fall gently on you, sweet one, +And lock up those faire lights in pleasing slumbers; +No dreames but chast and cleare attempt your fancie, +And break betimes sweet morne, I've lost my light else. + +_Ang_. Let it be ever night when I lose you. + +_Syl_. This Scholar never went to a Free-Schoo[le], he's so simple + + [Enter a servant.] + +_Ser_. Your brother with two Gallants is at dore, Sir +And they're so violent, they'l take no denial. + +_Ang_. this is no time of night. _Cha_. Let 'em in Mistresse. + +_Serv_. They stay no leave; Shall I raise the house on 'm? + +_Cha_. Not a man, nor make no murmur of't, I charge ye. + + _Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +Th'are here, my Uncle absent, stand close to me. +How doe you brother with your curious story? +Have you not read her yet sufficiently? + +_Cha_. No, brother, no, I stay yet in the Preface; +The stile's too hard for you. _Eust_. I must entreat her. +Shee's parcel of my goods. _Cha_. Shee's all when you have her. + +_Ang._ Hold off your hands, unmannerly, rude Sir; +Nor I, nor what I have depend on you. + +_Cha._ Do, let her alone, she gives good counsel; doe not +Trouble your selfe with Ladies, they are too light; +Let out your land, and get a provident Steward. + +_Ang._ I cannot love ye, let that satisfie you; +Such vanities as you are to be laught at. + +_Eust._ Nay, Then you must goe, I must claime mine owne. + +_Both._ A way, a way with her. _Cha._ Let her alone, + [_She strikes off Eustace's hat_] +Pray let her alone, and take your coxcombe up: +Let me talk civilly a while with you brother. +It may be on some termes I may part with her. + +_Eust._ O; is your heart come downe? what are your termes, Sir? +Put up, put up. _Cha._ This is the first and cheifest, + [_Snatches away his sword._] +Let's walk a turne; now stand off fooles, I advise ye, +Stand as far off as you would hope for mercy: +This is the first sword yet I ever handled, +And a sword's a beauteous thing to looke upon, +And if it hold, I shall so hunt your insolence: +Tis sharp I'm sure, and if I put it home, +Tis ten to one I shall new pink your Sattins: +I find I have spirit enough to dispose of it, +And will enough to make ye all examples; +Let me tosse it round, I have the full command on't: +Fetch me a native Fencer, I defie him; +I feele the fire of ten strong spirits in me. +Doe you watch me when my Uncle is absent? +This is my griefe, I shall be flesht on Cowards; +Teach me to fight, I willing am to learne. +Are ye all gilded flies, nothing but shew in ye? +Why stand ye gaping? who now touches her? +Who calls her his, or who dares name her to me? +But name her as his owne; who dares look on her? +That shall be mortal too; but think, 'tis dangerous. +Art thou a fit man to inherit land, +And hast no wit nor spirit to maintaine it? +Stand still thou signe of man, and pray for thy friends, +Pray heartilie, good prayers may restore ye. + +_Ang._ But doe not kill 'em Sir. _Cha._ You speak too late, Deare, +It is my first fight, and I must doe bravely, +I must not looke with partial eyes on any; +I cannot spare a button of these Gentlemen; +Did life lye in their heel _Achilles_ like, +Ide shoot my anger at those parts and kill 'um. +Who waits within? _Ser._ Sir. _Cha._ View all these, view 'em well +Goe round a bout 'em and still view their faces, +Round about yet; See how death waits upon 'em, +For thou shall never view 'em more. _Eust._ Pray hold, Sir. + +_Cha._ I cannot hold, you stand so fair before me, +I must not hold 'twill darken all my glories. +Goe to my Uncle, bid him poste to the King, +And get my pardon instantly, I have need on't. + +_Eust._ Are you so unnatural? _Cha._ You shall die last Sir, +Ile talke thee dead, thou art no man to fight with. +Come, will ye come? me thinkes I've fought whole battailes. + +_Cow_. We have no quarel to you, that we know on, Sir. + +_Egre_. Wee'l quit the house and ask ye mercie too: +Good Ladie, let no murther be done here; +We came but to parly. _Cha_. How my sword +Thirsts after them? stand away Sweet. _Eust._ Pray Sir, +Take my submission, and I disclaime for ever. + +_Cha_. Away ye poore things, ye despicable Creatures! +Doe you come poste to fetch a Ladie from me, +From a poore Schoole-boy that ye scorn'd of late? +And grow lame in your hearts when you should execute? +Pray take her, take her, I am weary of her; +What did ye bring to carrie her. _Egre_. A Coach and four horses. + +_Cha_. But are they good? _Egre_. As good as _France_ can shew Sir. + +_Cha_. Are you willing to leave those, and take your safeties? +Speak quickly. _Eust_. Yes with all our hearts. _Cha_. Tis done then. +Many have got one horse, I've got foure by th' bargaine. + + _Enter_ Miramont. + +_Mi._ How Now, who's here. _Ser_. Nay Now, y'are gon without bail. + +_Mir_. What, drawne my friends! Fetch me my two-hand sword; +I will not leave a head on your shoulders, Wretches. + +_Eust_. In troth Sir, I came but to doe my dutie. + +_Both_. And we to renew our loves. _Mir_. Bring me a blanket. +What came they for? _Ang_. To borrow me a while, Sir; +But one that never fought yet has so curried, +So bastina[d]o'd them with manly carriage, +They stand like things _Gorgon_ had turn'd to stone; +They watch'd your being absent, and then thought +They might doe wonders here, and they have done so? +For by my troth, I wonder at their coldness, +The nipping North or frost never came neere them, +St. _George_ upon a Signe would grow more sensible: +If the name of honour were for ever to be lost, +These were the most sufficient men to doe it +In all the world, and yet they are but young, +What will they rise to? They're as full of fire +As a frozen Glo-wormes ratle, and shine as goodly; +Nobilitie and patience are match'd rarely +In these three Gentlemen, they have right use on't; +They'l stand still for an houre and be beaten. +These are the Anagrammes of three great Worthies. + +_Mir_. They will infect my house with cowardize, +If they breathe longer in it; my roofe covers +No baffl'd Monsieurs, walk and aire your selves; +As I live, they stay not here, while liver'd wretches +Without one word to ask a reason why, +Vanish, 'tis the last warning, and with speed, +For if I take ye in hand I shall dissect you, +And read upon your flegmatick dull carcases. +My horse againe there: I have other business, +Which you shall heare hereafter and laugh at it. +Good night _Charles_, faire goodness to you dear Ladie +Tis late, 'tis late. _Ang._ Pray Sir be careful of us. + +_Mir._ It is enough, my best care shall attend ye. _Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus IV. Scaena IV._ + + _Enter_ Andrew. + +Are you come old Master? very good, your horse +Is well set up, but ere ye part, Ile ride you +And spur your reverend Justiceship such a question, +As I shall make the sides of your reputation bleed, +Trulie I will. Now must I play at Bo-peep-- +A banquet--well, Potatoes and Eringoes, +And as I take it, Cantharides,--Excellent, +A Priapisme followes, and as Ile handle it, +It shall old lecherous Goat in authoritie. +Now they begin to bill; how he slavers her! +[G]ramercie _Lilly_, she spits his kisses out, +And now he offers to fumble she fals off, +(That's a good Wench) and cries fair play above boord +Who are they in the corner? As I live, +A covey of _Fidlers_; I shall have some musick yet +At my making free oth' Companie of Horners; +There's the comfort, and a Song too! He beckons for one-- +Sure 'tis no Anthem nor no borrowed rhymes +Out of the Schoole of vertue; I will listen-- A _Song._ +This was never penn'd at _Geneva_, the note's too spritely. +So, so, the musicke's paid for, and now what followes? +O that Monsieur _Miramont_ would but keep his word. +Here were a feast to make him fat with laughter, +At the most 'tis not six minutes riding from his house, +Nor will he break I hope--O are you come Sir? +The prey is in the net and will break in +Upon occasion. _Mir._ Thou shall rule me _Andrew_. +O th' infinite fright that will assaile this Gentleman! +The quarterns, tertians, and quotidians +That will hang like Sargeants on his worships shoulders! +The humiliation of the flesh of this man! +This grave austere man will be wondred at. +How will those solemne lookes appeare to me; +And that severe face, that speak chaines and shackles? +Now I take him in the nick, ere I done with him, +He had better have stood between two panes of wainscot; +And made his recantation in the market, +Than heare me conjure him. _And._ He must passe this way, +To th' onely bed I have, he comes, stand close. + +_Bri._ Well done, well done, give me my night-cap. So. +Quick, quick, untruss me; I will truss and trounce thee; +Come Wench a kiss between each point; kiss close; +It is a sweet Parenthesis. _Lil._ Y'are merry Sir. + +_Bri._ Merry I will be anon, and thou shall feele it, +Thou shall my _Lilly_. _Lil._ Shall I aire your bed, Sir? + +_Bri._ No, no, Ile use no warming pan but thine, Girle; +That's all; Come kiss me again. _Lil._ Ha'ye done yet? + +_Bri._ No, but I will doe, and doe wonders, _Lilly_. +Shew me the way. _Lil._ You cannot misse it, Sir; +You shall have a Cawdle in the morning, for +Your worships breakfast. _Bri._ How, ith' morning. _Lilly_? +Th'art such a wittie thing to draw me on. +Leave fooling, _Lilly_, I am hungry now, +And th' hast another Kickshaw, I must tast it. + +_Lil._ Twill make you surfet, I am tender of you: +Y'have all y'are like to have. _And._ And can this be earnest? + +_Mir._ it seemes so, and she honest. _Bri._ Have I not +Thy promise _Lilly_? _Lil._ Yes and I have performed +Enough to a man of your yeares, this is truth, +And you shall find Sir, you have kist and tows'd me, +Handled my legg and foote, what would you more, Sir,? +As for the rest, it requires youth and strength, +And the labour in an old man would breed Agues, +Sciaticaes, and Cramps; you shall not curse me, +For taking from you what you cannot spare, Sir: +Be good unto your selfe, y'ave tane alreadie +All you can take with ease; you are past threshing, +It is a worke too boisterous for you; leave +Such drudgerie to _Andrew_. _Mir._ How she jeeres him? + +_Lil._ Let _Andrew_ alone with his owne tillage, +Hee's tough, and can manure it. _Bri._ Y'are a queane, +A scoffing jeering quean. _Lil._ It may be so, but +I'me sure, Ile nere be yours. _Bri._ Doe not provoke me, +If thou do'st, Ile have my Farm againe, and turne +Thee out a begging. _Lil._ Though you have the will, +And want of honestie to deny your Deed, Sir, +Yet I hope _Andrew_ has got so much learning +From my young Master, as to keep his own; +At the worst, Ile tell a short tale to the Judges, +For what grave ends you sign'd your Lease, and on +What termes you would revoke it. _Bri._ Whore thou dar'st not. +Yeeld or Ile have thee whipt; How my bloud boiles, +As if t'were ore a furnace! _Mir._ I shall coole it. + +_Bri._ Yet gentle _Lilly_, pitie and forgive me, +Ile be a friend t'ye, such a loving bountiful friend-- + +_Lil._ To avoid suites in Law, I would grant a litle, +But should fierce _Andrew_ know it, what would become +Of me? _And._ A whore, a whore! _Bri._ Nothing but well Wench, +I will put such a strong bit in his mouth, +As thou shalt ride him how thou wilt, my _Lilly_: +Nay, he shall hold the doore, as I will worke him, +And thank thee for the office. _Mir._ Take heed _Andrew_, +These are shrewd temptations. _And._ Pray you know +Your Cue, and second me Sir; By your Worships favour. + +_Bri._ _Andrew_! _And._ I come in time to take possession +Of th' office you assigne me; hold the doore, +Alas 'tis nothing for a simple man +To stay without when a deepe understanding +Holds conference within, say with his wife: +A trifle Sir, I know I hold my farme +In Cuckolds Tenure: you are Lord o'the soile Sir, +_Lilly_ is a Weft, a Straie shee's yours, to use Sir, +I claime no interest in her. _Bri._ Art thou serious? +Speak honest _Andrew_, since thou hast oreheard us, +And wink at small faults, man; I'me but a pidler, +A little will serve my turne; thou'lt finde enough +When I've my bellyfull; wilt thou be private +And silent? _And._ By all meanes, Ile onely have +A Ballad made of't, sung to some lewd Tune, +And the name of it shall be _Justice Trap_, +It will sell rarely with your Worships name, +And _Lillies_ on the top. _Bri._ Seek not the ruine +O' my reputation, _Andrew_. _And._ Tis for your credit, +Monsieur _Brisac_ printed in capital letters, +Then pasted upon all the posts in _Paris_. + +_Bri._ No mercy, _Andrew_? _And._ O, it will proclaim you +From th' Citie to the Court, and prove sport royal. + +_Bri._ Thou shall keep thy Farm. _Mir._ He does afflict him rarely. + +_And._ You trouble me. Then his intent arriving, +The vizard of his hypocrisie poll'd off +To the Judge criminal. _Bri._ O, I am undone. + +_And._ Hee's put out of Commission with disgrace, +And held uncapable of bearing Office +Ever hereafter. This is my revenge, +And this Ile put in practice. _Bri._ Doe but heare me. + +_And._ To bring me back from my Grammer to my horne-book, +It is unpardonable. _Bri._ Do not play the Tyrant; +Accept of composition. _Lil._ Heare him, _Andrew_. + +_And._ What composition? _Bri._ Ile confirme thy farme, +And add unto't an hundred acres more +Adjoyning to it. _And._ Umb, This mollifies, +But y'are so fickle: and will again denie this, +There being no witness by. _Bri._ Call any witness, +Ile presently assure it. _And._ Say you so, +Troth there's a friend of mine Sir, within hearing, +That is familiar with all that's past, +His testimonie will be authentical. + +_Bri._ will he be secret? _And._ You may tye his tongue up. +As you would doe your purse-strings. _Br._ _Miramont. M._ Ha, Ha, Ha. + +_And._ this is my witness. Lord how you are troubled? +Sure, y'have an ague, you shake so with choler; +Hee's your loving brother Sir, and will tell no bodie +But all he meets, that you have eate a snake, +And are grown young, gamesom, and rampant. _Bri._ Caught thus? + +_And._ If he were one that would make jests of you, +Or plague ye with making your religious gravitie +Ridiculous to your neighbours, Then you had +Some cause to be perplex'd. _Bri._ I shall become +Discourse for Clowns and Tapsters. _And._ Quick, _Lilly_, Quick, +Hee's now past kissing, between point and point. +He swounds, fetch him some Cordiall--Now put in Sir. + +_Mir._ Who may this be? sure this is some mistake: +Let me see his face, weares he not a false beard? +It cannot be _Brisac_ that worthie Gentleman, +The pillar and the patron of his Countrie; +He is too prudent and too cautelous, +Experience hath taught him t'avoid these fooleries, +He is the punisher and not the doer, +Besides hee's old and cold, unfit for woman; +This is some Counterfeit, he shall be whipt for't, +Some base abuser of my worthie brother. + +_Bri._ Open the doores, will ye'imprison me? are ye my Judges? + +_Mir._ The man raves! This is not judicious _Brisac_: +Yet now I think on't, a' has a kinde of dog looke +Like my brother, a guiltie hanging face. + +_Bri._ Ile suffer bravely, doe your worst, doe, doe. + +_Mir._ Why, it's manly in you. _Bri._ Nor will I raile nor curse, +You slave, you whore, I will not meddle with you, +But all the torments that ere fell on men, +That fed on mischiefe, fall heavily on you all. _Exit._ + +_Lil._ You have giv'n him a heat, Sir. _Mir._ He will ride you +The better, Lil. _And._ Wee'l teach him to meddle with Scholars. + +_Mir._ he shall make good his promise t'increase thy Farm, _Andrew_ +Or Ile jeere him to death, feare nothing _Lilly_, +I am thy Champion. This jeast goes to _Charles_, +And then Ile hunt him out, and Monsieur _Eustace_ +The gallant Courtier, and laugh heartily +To see'm mourne together. _And._ Twill be rare, Sir. _Exeunt._ + + + +_Actus 5. Scaena 1._ + + Eustace, Egremont. Cowsy. + +Turn'd out of doores and baffled! _Egre._ We share with you +In the affront. _Cow._ Yet beare it not like you +With such dejection. _Eust._ My Coach and horses made +The ransome of our cowardize. _Lew._ _Cow._ Pish, that's nothing, +Tis _Damnum reparabile_, and soone recover'd. + +_Egre._ It is but feeding a suitor with false hopes, +And after squeeze him with a dozen of oathes. +You are new rigg'd, and this no more remembred. + +_Eust._ And does the Court that should be the example +And Oracle of the Kingdome, read to us +No other doctrine! _Egre._ None that thrives so well +As that, within my knowledge. _Cow._ Flatterie rubbes out, +But since great men learne to admire themselves, +Tis something crest-falne. _Egre._ To be of no Religion, +Argues a subtle moral understanding, +And it is often cherisht. _Eust._ Pietie then, +And valour, nor to doe nor suffer wrong, +Are they no vertues? _Egre._ Rather vices, _Eustace_; +Fighting! What's fighting? It may be in fashion, +Among Provant swords, and buffe-jerkin men: +But w'us that swim in choice of silkes and Tissues; +Though in defence of that word reputation, +Which is indeed a kind of glorious nothing, +To lose a dram of blood must needs appeare +As coarse as to be honest. _Eust._ And all this +You seriously beleeve. _Cow._ It is a faith, +That we will die in, since from the black guard +To the grim Sir in office, there are few +Hold other Tenets. _Eust._ [N]ow my eyes are open, +And I behold a strong necessity +That keepes me knave and coward. _Cow._ Y'are the wiser. + +_Eust._ Nor can I change my copy, if I purpose +To be of your society. _Egre._ By no meanes. + +_Eust._ Honour is nothing with you? _Cow._ A meere bubble, +For what's growne common, is no more regarded. + +_Eust._ My sword forc'd from me too, and still detain'd, +You think's no blemish. _Egre._ Get me a battoone? +Tis twenty times more courtlike, and less trouble. + +_Eust._ And yet you weare a sword. _Cow._ Yes, and a good one, +A Millan hilt, and a Damasco blade, +For ornament, no use the Court allowes it. + +_Eust._ Wil't not fight of it selfe? _Cow._ I nere tri'd this, +Yet I have worne as faire as any man, +I'me sure I've made my Cutler rich, and paid +For several weapons, Turkish and Toledo's, +Two thousand Crownes, and yet could never light +Upon a fighting one. _Eust._ Ile borrow this, +I like it well. _Cow._ Tis at your service Sir, +A lath in a velvet scabbard will serve my turne. + +_Eust._ And now I have it leave me; y'are infectious, +The plague and leprosie of your baseness spreading +On all that doe come neere you; such as you +Render the Throne of Majesty, the Court +Suspected and contemptible, you are Scarabee's +That batten in her dung, and have no pallats +To taste her curious viands, and like Owles +Can onely see her night deformities, +But with the glorious splendor of her beauties +You are struck blinde as Moles, that undermine +The sumptuous building that allow'd you shelter, +You stick like running ulcers on her face, +And taint the pureness of her native candor, +And being bad servants, cause your masters goodness +To be disputed of; you make the Court +That is the abstract of all Academies, +To teach and practice noble undertakings, +(Where courage sits triumphant crown'd with Lawrel, +And wisedome loaded with the weight of honour) +A Schoole of vices. _Egre._ What sudden rapture's this? + +_Eust._ A heavenly one that raising me from sloth and ignorance, +(In which your conversation long hath charm'd me) +Carries me up into the aire of action, +And knowledge of my selfe; even now I feele +But pleading onely in the Courts defence, +(Though far[r]e short of her merits and bright lustre) +A happy alteration, and full strength +To stand her Champion against all the world, +That throw aspersions on her. _Cow._ Sure hee'l beat us, +I see it in his eyes. _Egre._ A second _Charles_; +Pray look not Sir so furiously. _Eust._ Recant +What you have said, ye Mungrils, and licke up +The vomit you have cast upon the Court, +Where you unworthily have had warmth and breeding, +And sweare that you like Spiders, have made poyson +Of that which was a saving antidote. + +_Egre._ We will sweare any thing. _Cow._ We honour the Court +As a most sacred place. _Egre._ And will make oath, +If you enjoyne us to't, nor knave nor fool, +Nor Coward living in it. _Eust._ Except you two, +You Rascals! _Cow._ Yes, we are all these, and more, +If you will have it so. _Eust._ And that until +You are again reform'd and growne new men, +You nere presume to name the Court, or presse +Into the Porters Lodge but for a penance, +To be disciplin'd for your roguery, and this done +With true contrition. _Both._ Yes Sir. _Eust._ You againe +May eat scraps and be thankful. _Cow._ Here's a cold breakfast +After a sharpe nights walking. _Eust._ Keepe your oathes, +And without grumbling vanish. _Both._ We are gone, Sir. _Exeunt._ + +_Eust._ May all the poorenesse of my spirit goe with you, +The fetters of my thraldome are filed off: +And I at libertie to right my selfe, +And though my hope in _Angellina's_ little, +My honour (unto which compar'd shee's nothing) +Shall like the Sun disperse those lowring Clouds +That yet obscure and dimme it; not the name +Of brother shall divert me, but from him, +That in the worlds opinion ruin'd me, +I will seek reparation, and call him +Unto a strict accompt. Ha! 'tis neere day, +And if the Muses friend rose-cheek'd _Aurora_, +Invite him to this solitary grove, +As I much hope she will, he seldome missing +To pay his vowes here to her, I shall hazard +To hinder his devotions--The doore opens-- _Enter Charles._ +Tis he most certain, and by's side my sword, +Blest opportunity. _Cha._ I have oreslept my selfe, +And lost part of the morne, but Ile recover it: +Before I went to bed, I wrote some notes +Within my table-book, which I will now consider. +Ha! What meanes this? What do I with a sword? +Learn'd _Mercurie_ needs not th'aide of _Mars_, and innocence +Is to it selfe a guard, yet since armes ever +Protect arts, I may justly weare and use it; +For since't was made my prize, I know not how +I'me growne in love with't and cannot eate nor study, +And much lesse walke without it: but I trifle, +Matters of more weight ask my judgement. _Eust._ Now Sir, +Treate of no other Theme, Ile keep you to it, +And see y'expound it well. _Cha._ _Eustace_! _Eust._ The same Sir, +Your younger brother, who as duty bindes him, +Hath all this night (turn'd out of doores) attended, +To bid good morrow t'ye. _Cha._ This not in scorne, +Commands me to returne it; Would you ought else? + +_Eust._ O much, Sir, here I end not, but begin; +I must speak to you in another straine, +Than yet I ever us'd, and if the language +Appeare in the delivery rough and harsh, +You (being my Tutor) must condemne your selfe, +From whom I learn'd it. _Cha._ When I understand +(Bee't in what stile you please) what's your demand, +I shall endeavour in the self same phrase +To make an answer to the point. _Eust._ I come not +To lay claime to your birthright, 'tis your owne, +And 'tis fit you enjoy it, nor ask I from you +Your learning and deepe knowledge; (though I am not +A Schollar as you are) I know them Diamonds +By your sole industry, patience and labour +Forc'd from steepe rocks, and with much toile attended, +And but to few that prize their value granted, +And therefore without rival freely weare them. + +_Cha._ These not repin'd at (as you seeme t'informe me) +The motion must be of a strange condition, +If I refuse to yeeld to't; therefore _Eustace_, +Without this tempest in your lookes propound it, +And feare not a denial. _Eust._ I require then, +(As from an enemy, and not a brother) +The reputation of a man of honour, +Not by a faire war wonne when I was waking, +But in my sleepe of folly ravish'd from me; +With these, the restitution of my sword, +With large acknowledgement of satisfaction, +My Coach, my Horses; I will part with life, +Ere lose one haire of them, and what concludes all, +My Mistress _Angellina_, as she was +Before the Musical Magick of thy tongue +Inchanted and seduc'd her. These perform'd, +And with submission, and done publiquely, +At my fathers and my Uncles intercession, +(That I put in too) I perhaps may listen +To termes of reconcilement; but if these +In every circumstance are not subscrib'd to, +To th' last gasp I defie thee. _Cha._ These are strict +Conditions to a brother. _Eust._ My rest is up, +Nor will I give less. _Cha._ I'me no Gamester, _Eustace_, +Yet I can guesse your resolution stands +To win or loose all; I rejoyce to find ye +Thus tender of your honour, and that at length +You understand what a wretched thing you were, +How deeply wounded by your selfe, and made +Almost incurable, in your owne hopes, +The dead flesh of pale cowardise growing over +Your festred reputation, which no balme +Or gentle unguent ever could make way to, +And I am happy, that I was the Surgeon +That did apply those burning corrosives +That render you already sensible +O th' danger you were plung'd in, in teaching you, +And by a faire gradation, how far[r]e, +And with what curious respect and care +The peace and credit of a man within, +(Which you nere thought till now) should be preferr'd +Before a gawdy outside; pray you fix here, +For so farre I go with you. _Eust._ This discourse +Is from the subject. _Cha._ Ile come to it brother, +But if you think to build upon my ruines, +You'l find a false foundation your high offers +Taught by the Masters of dependancies, +That by compounding differences 'tween others +Supply their owne necessities, with me +Will never carry't; As you are my brother, +I would dispence a little, but no more +Than honour can give way to; nor must I +Destroy that in my selfe I love in you; +And therefore let not hopes nor threats perswade you +I will descend to any composition +For which I may be censur'd. _Eust._ You shall fight then. + +_Cha._ With much unwillingness with you, but if +There's no evasion-- _Eust._ None. _Cha._ Heare yet a word +As for the sword and other fripperies, +In a faire way send for them, you shall have 'em. +But rather than surrender _Angellina_, +Or heare it againe mention'd, I oppose +My breast unto lowd thunder, cast behinde me +All ties of Nature. _Eust._ She detain'd, I'me deafe +To all perswasion. _Cha._ Guard thy selfe then _Eustace_, +I use no other Rhetorick. _Mir._ Clashing of swords [_Enter Miram._] +So neere my house? brother oppos'd to brother! +Here is no fencing at halfe sword; hold, hold, +_Charles, Eustace_. _Eust._ Second him, or call in more helpe. +Come not betweene us, Ile not know nor spare you; +D'ye fight by th' booke? _Cha._ Tis you that wrong me, off Sir, +And suddenly, Ile conjure down the Spirit +That I have raised in him. _Eust._ Never, _Charles_, +Tis thine, and in thy death, be doubled in me. + +_Mir._ I'me out of breath, yet trust not too much to't boyes, +For if you pawse not suddenly, and heare reason, +Doe, kill your Uncle, doe, but that I'me patient, +And not a cholerick old teasty foole, +Like your father, Ide daunce a matachin with you, +Should make you sweat your best blood for't; I would, +And it may be I will, _Charles_ I command thee, +And _Eustace_ I entreat thee, th'art a brave Spark, +A true tough-metal'd blade, and I begin +To love thee heartily, give me a fighting Courtier, +Ile cherish him for example; in our age +Th'are not born every day. _Cha._ You of late Sir, +In me lov'd learning. _Mir._ True, but take me w'ye, _Charles_, +'Twas when yong _Eustace_ wore his heart in's breeches, +And fought his battailes in Complements and Cringes, +When's understanding wav'd in a flaunting feather, +And his best contemplation look'd no further +Than a new-fashion'd doublet, I confess then +The lofty noise your Greek made onely pleas'd me; +But now hee's turn'd an _Oliver_ and a _Rowland_, +Nay the whole dozen of peeres are bound up in him: +Let me remember, when I was of his yeeres, +I did looke very like him; and did you see +My picture as I was then, you would sweare +That gallant _Eustace_ (I meane, now he dares fight) +Was the true substance and the perfect figure. +Nay, nay, no anger, you shall have enough _Charles_. + +_Cha._ Sure Sir, I shall not need addition from him. + +_Eust._ Nor I from any, this shall decide my interest, +Though I am lost to all deserving men, +To all that men call good, for suffering tamely +Insufferable wrongs, and justly slighted +By yeelding to a minute of delay +In my revenge, and from that made a stranger +Unto my fathers house and favour, orewhelm'd +With all disgraces, yet I will mount upward, +And force my selfe a fortune, though my birth +And breeding doe deny it. _Cha._ Seek not _Eustace_, +By violence, what will be offerd to you +On easier composition; though I was not +Allied unto your weakness, you shall find me +A brother to your bravery of spirit, +And one that not compell'd to't by your sword, +(Which I must never feare) will share it with you +In all but _Angellina_. _Mir._ Nobly said _Charles_, +And learne from my experience, you may heare reason +And never maime your fighting; for your credit +Which you think you have lost, spare, _Charles_, and swinge me, +And soundly; three or foure walking cloakes +That weare no swords to guard 'em, yet deserve it, +Thou art made up againe. _Eust._ All this is lip-salve. + +_Mir._ It shall be Hearts-ease, _Eustace_, ere I've done; +As for thy fathers anger, now thou dar'st fight, +Nere feare't, for I've the dowcets of his gravity +Fast in a string, I will so pinch and wring him, +That spight of his authority, thou shalt make +Thine owne conditions with him. _Eust._ Ile take leave +A little to consider. _Cha._ Here comes _Andrew_. + +_Mir._ But without his Comical and learned face; +What sad disaster, _Andrew_? _And._ You may read Sir, +A Tragedy in my face. _Mir._ Art thou in earnest? + +_And._ Yes, by my life Sir, and if now you help not, +And speedily, by force or by persuasion, +My good old Master (for now I pitie him) is +Ruin'd for ever. _Cha._ Ha, my father! _And._ He Sir. + +_Mir._ By what meanes? speake. _And._ At the suit of Monsieur _Lewis_ +His house is seiz'd upon, and he in person +Is under guard, (I saw it with these eyes Sir) +To be convey'd to _Paris_, and there sentenc'd. + +_Mir._ Nay, then there is no jesting. _Cha._ Doe I live, +And know my father injur'd? _And._ And what's worse Sir, +My Lady _Angellina_-- _Eust._ What of her? + +_And._ Shee's carryed away too. _Mir._ How? _And._ While you were absent, +A crew of Monsieur _Lewis_ friends and kinsmen +By force break in at th' back part of the house, +And took her away by violence; faithful _Andrew_, +(As this can witness for him) did his best, +In her defence, but 'twould not doe. _Mir._ Away, +And see our horses sadled, 'tis no time +To talke, but doe: _Eustace_, you now are offer'd +A spatious field, and in a pious war +To exercise you[r] valour, here's a cause, +And such a one, in which to fall is honourable, +Your duty and reverence due to a fathers name +Commanding it; but these unnatural jarres +Arising betweene brothers (should you prosper) +Would shame your victorie. _Eust._ I would doe much Sir, +But still my reputation! _Mir._ _Charles_ shall give you +All decent satisfaction; nay joyne hands, +And heartily; why this is done like brothers; +And old as I am, in this cause that concerns +The honour of our family, Monsieur _Lewis_ +(If reason cannot work) shall find and feele +There's hot blood in this arme, Ile lead you bravely. + +_Eust._ And if I follow not, a Cowards name +Be branded on my forehead. _Cha._ This Spirit makes you +A sharer in my fortunes. _Mir._ And in mine, +Of which (_Brisac_ once freed, and _Angellina_ +Again in our possession) you shall know +My heart speakes in my tongue. _Eust._ I dare not doubt it, Sir. +_Exeunt._ + + + +_Actus V. Scaena II._ + + _Enter_ Lewis, Brisac, Angellina, Sylvia, _Officers._ + +_Lew._ I'me deafe to all perswasions. _Bri._ I use none, +Nor doubt I, though a while my innocence suffers, +But when the King shall understand how false +Your malice hath inform'd him, he in justice +Must set me right againe. _Ang._ Sir, let not passion +So far[r]e transport you as to think in reason, +This violent course repaires, but ruins it; +That honour you would build up, you destroy; +What you would seeme to nourish, if respect +Of my preferment or my patern +May challenge your paternal love and care, +Why doe you, now good fortune has provided +A better husband for me than your hopes +Could ever fancy, strive to robb me of him? +In what is my Lord _Charles_ defective Sir? +Unless deep learning be a blemish in him, +Or well proportion'd limbs be mulcts in Nature, +Or what you onely aim'd at, large revenewes +Are on the sudden growne distastful to you, +Of what can you accuse him? _Lew._ Of a rape +Done to honour, which thy ravenous lust +Made the consent to. _Syl._ Her lust! you are her father. + +_Lew._ And you her Bawd. _Syl._ Were you ten Lords, 'tis false, +The pureness of her chaste thoughts entertains not +Such spotted instruments. _Ang._ As I have a soule Sir. + +_Lew._ I am not to be alter'd; to sit downe +With this disgrace, would argue me a Peasant, +And not borne noble: all rigour that the Law +And that encrease of power by favour yeelds, +Shall be with all severity inflicted; +You have the Kings hand for't; no Bayle will serve, +And therefore at your perils Officers, away with 'em. + +_Bri._ This is madness. _Lew._ Tell me so in open Court, +And there Ile answer you. _Mir._ Well overtaken; + + [_Enter Mir. Char. Eust. Andrew._] + +_Cha._ Ill if they dare resist. _Eust._ He that advances +But one step forward dies. _L._ Shew the King's Writ. + +_Mir._ Shew your discretion, 'twil become you better. + +_Cha._ Y'are once more in my power, and if againe +I part with you, let me for ever lose thee. + +_Eust._ Force will not do't nor threats; accept this service +From your despair'd of _Eustace_. _And._ And beware +Your reverend Worship never more attempt +To search my _Lilly-pot_, you see what followes. + +_Lew._ Is the Kings power contemn'd? _Mir._ No, but the torrent +O' your wilful folly stopp'd. And for you, good Sir, +If you would but be sensible, what can you wish +But the satisfaction of an obstinate Will. +That is not indear'd to you? rather than +Be cross'd in what you purpos'd, you'l undoe +Your daughters fame, the credit of your judgement, +And your old foolish neighbour; make your states, +And in a suite not worth a Cardecue, +A prey to advocates, and their buckram Scribes, +And after they have plum'd ye, returne home +Like a couple of naked Fowles without a feather. + +_Cha._ This is a most strong truth Sir. _Mir._ No, no, Monsieur, +Let us be right Frenchmen, violent to charge, +But when our follies are repell'd by reason, +Tis fit that we retreat and nere come on more: +Observe my learned _Charles_, hee'l get thee a Nephew +On _Angellina_ shall dispute in her belly, +And suck the Nurse by Logick: and here's _Eustace_, +He was an asse, but now is grown an _Amadis_; +Nor shall he want a Wife, if all my land +For a joynture can effect it: Y'are a good Lord, +And of a gentle nature, in your lookes +I see a kinde consent, and it shewes lovely: +And doe you heare old Foole? but Ile not chide, +Hereafter like me, ever doate on learning, +The meere beleefe is excellent, 'twill save you; +And next love valour, though you dare not fight +Your selfe, or fright a foolish Officer, 'young _Eustace_ +Can doe it to a haire. And to conclude, +Let _Andrew's_ Farm b'encreas'd, that is your penance, +You know for what, and see you rut no more, +You understand me, So embrace on all sides; + Ile pay those Billmen, and make large amends; + Provided we preserve you still our friends.-- _Exeunt._ + +[_A few misprints in the above have been corrected in square brackets +to agree with_ B.] + + +[*** The remainder of the original page, being the _Variants_ +section, appears to have been removed deliberately, perhaps to be +processed separately.] + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Works of Francis Beaumont and John +Fletcher, by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 12098 *** diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..cfe14f9 --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #12098 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/12098) diff --git a/old/12098.txt b/old/12098.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..adfb8da --- /dev/null +++ b/old/12098.txt @@ -0,0 +1,7209 @@ +The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Works of Francis Beaumont and John +Fletcher, by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + +Title: The Works of Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + Vol. 2 of 10: Introduction to The Elder Brother + +Author: Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +Release Date: April 21, 2004 [EBook #12098] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: ASCII + +*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER *** + + + + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Jonathan Ingram, Charles M. Bidwell and +the Online Distributed Proofreading Team. + + + + + + +FRANCIS BEAUMONT + +Born 1584 +Died 1616 + +JOHN FLETCHER + +Born 1579 +Died 1625 + + + + +THE ELDER BROTHER + +THE SPANISH CURATE + +WIT WITHOUT MONEY + +BEGGARS BUSH + +THE HUMOUROUS LIEUTENANT + +THE FAITHFUL SHEPHERDESS + + + +THE TEXT EDITED BY + +ARNOLD GLOVER, M.A. + +OF TRINITY COLLEGE AND THE INNER TEMPLE + +AND + +A.R. WALLER, M.A. + +OF PETERHOUSE + + + +CAMBRIDGE: at the University Press 1906 + + +CAMBRIDGE UNIVERSITY PRESS WAREHOUSE, +C.F. CLAY, MANAGER. +London: FETTER LANE, E.C. +Glasgow: 50, WELLINGTON STREET. +Leipzig: F.A. BROCKHAUS. +New York: THE MACMILLAN COMPANY. +Bombay and Calcutta: MACMILLAN AND CO., LTD. + +[_All Rights reserved._] + + + + + +NOTE: + + +The text of the present volume was passed for press by Arnold Glover and +some progress had been made in his lifetime in the collection of the +material given in the Appendix. Mrs. Glover's help has again been most +valuable in the completion of the work. + +_The Elder Brother_ is printed entirely in prose in the Second Folio, and +I have therefore printed in the Appendix the play in verse, as it appeared +in the First Quarto. The case is an interesting one, and readers will be +glad, I think, to have both forms in the same volume. + +I have not concerned myself with passages in the Second Folio in prose +which have since been printed as verse. On the whole I agree with a recent +critic who characterises as 'vexatious' the 'later practice of printing +much manifest prose as verse, each post-seventeenth century editor +apparently making it a point of honour to discover metre where no one had +found it before, and where no one with an ear can find it now.' + +I am glad to have had the opportunity of seeing the 1625 manuscript of +_Demetrius and Enanthe_, the play first printed in a somewhat mutilated +form in the First Folio of 1647, where it is called _The Humorous +Lieutenant_. It is stated in the _Dictionary of National Biography_ (Vol. +XIX, p. 306) that this MS. is preserved in the Dyce Library but the +statement is incorrect. The MS. has never been a part of the Dyce +collection. It was printed by Dyce in 1830 and after that date it rested +for many years in obscurity. To Mrs. Glover is due the credit for having +traced it to its present home. For help in this search our thanks are due +to Lord Stanley of Alderley, to W.R.M. Wynne, Esq., of Peniarth, Towyn, +Merioneth (whose father owned the MS. and left a note in his copy of +Dyce's reprint that he had given the MS. to his "old friend the late W. +Ormsby Gore, Esq., M.P. for North Shropshire") and to Lord Harlech, the +grandson of Mr. Ormsby Gore. Lord Harlech re-discovered the MS. in his +library at Brogyntyn, Oswestry, and he has very kindly permitted a +thorough examination of it. Dyce's 1830 publication is described as a +reprint "verbatim et literatim," but it has little claim to be so called. +The punctuation is altered throughout, the spelling is altered in scores +of words and though the actual verbal differences between the original MS. +and Dyce's reprint of it are not very many, yet these occur here and there +throughout the play. Later editors, therefore, relying upon Dyce, have +been led into recording as 'MS.' readings variations which do not occur in +the MS. A brief description of the MS. will be found in the Appendix, pp. +509-18, together with the passages omitted from the Folios and a complete +record of the verbal variations. The present collation omits readings +incorrectly given by Dyce. + +The third volume of this text will be ready immediately and good progress +is being made with the remaining volumes. When the publication of the +entire text is completed it is intended to print, by way of a commentary +thereon, a companion volume containing a series of explanatory notes upon +the text, a glossary and whatsoever supplementary material may be deemed +to be of use to the student or to the general reader. + +A.R. WALLER. +CAMBRIDGE, +30 _January_, 1906. + + + + +THE ELDER BROTHER, +A COMEDY. + + +Persons Represented in the Play. + +Lewis, _a Lord_. +Miramont, _a Gentleman_. +Brisac, _a Justice, Brother to_ Miramont. +Charles, _a Scholar_, \ _Sons to_ +Eustace, _a Courtier_, / Brisac. +Egremont, \ _two Courtiers, friends to_ +Cowsy, / Eustace. +Andrew, _Servant to_ Charles. +Cook, \ _Servants to_ +Butler, / Brisac. +Priest. +Notary. +Servants. +Officers. + +Angellina, _Daughter to_ Lewis. +Sylvia, _her Woman_. +Lilly, _Wife to_ Andrew. +Ladies. + + +_LECTORI._ + +_Wouldst thou all Wit, all Comick Art survey? +Read here and wonder;_ Fletcher _writ the Play._ + + + + +_ACTUS PRIMUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, _and_ Sylvia. + +_Lewis._ Nay, I must walk you farther. + +_Ang._ I am tir'd, Sir, and ne'er shall foot it home. + +_Lew._ 'Tis for your health; the want of exercise takes from your +Beauties, and sloth dries up your sweetness: That you are my only Daughter +and my Heir, is granted; and you in thankfulness must needs acknowledge, +you ever find me an indulgent Father, and open handed. + +_Ang._ Nor can you tax me, Sir, I hope, for want of duty to deserve these +favours from you. + +_Lew._ No, my _Angellina_, I love and cherish thy obedience to me, which +my care to advance thee shall confirm: all that I aim at, is, to win thee +from the practice of an idle foolish state, us'd by great Women, who think +any labour (though in the service of themselves) a blemish to their fair +fortunes. + +_Ang._ Make me understand, Sir, what 'tis you point at. + +_Lew._ At the custom, how Virgins of wealthy Families waste their youth; +after a long sleep, when you wake, your Woman presents your Breakfast, +then you sleep again, then rise, and being trimm'd up by other hands, +y'are led to Dinner, and that ended, either to Cards or to your Couch, (as +if you were born without motion) after this to Supper, and then to Bed: +and so your life runs round without variety or action, Daughter. + +_Syl._ Here's a learned Lecture! + +_Lew._ Fro[m] this idleness, Diseases, both in body and in mind, grow +strong upon you; where a stirring nature, with wholesome exercise, guards +both from danger: I'd have thee rise with the Sun, walk, dance, or hunt, +visit the Groves and Springs, and learn the vertue of Plants and Simples: +Do this moderately, and thou shalt not, with eating Chalk, or Coles, +Leather and Oatmeal, and such other trash, fall into the Green-sickness. + +_Syl._ With your pardon (were you but pleas'd to minister it) I could +prescribe a Remedy for my Lady's health, and her delight too, far +transcending those your Lordship but now mention'd. + +_Lew._ What is it, _Sylvia_? + +_Syl._ What is't! a noble Husband; in that word, a noble Husband, all +content of Woman is wholly comprehended; He will rouse her, as you say, +with the Sun; and so pipe to her, as she will dance, ne'er doubt it; and +hunt with her, upon occasion, until both be weary; and then the knowledge +of your Plants and Simples, as I take it, were superfluous. A loving, and, +but add to it, a gamesome Bedfellow, being the sure Physician. + +_Lew_. Well said, Wench. + +_Ang_. And who gave you Commission to deliver your Verdict, Minion? + +_Syl_. I deserve a Fee, and not a frown, dear Madam: I but speak her +thoughts, my Lord, and what her modesty refuses to give voice to. Shew no +mercy to a Maidenhead of fourteen, but off with't: let her lose no time, +Sir; Fathers that deny their Daughters lawful pleasures, when ripe for +them, in some kinds edge their appetites to taste of the fruit that is +forbidden. + +_Lew_. 'Tis well urg'd, and I approve it: No more blushing, Girl, thy +Woman hath spoke truth, and so prevented what I meant to move to thee. +There dwells near us a Gentleman of bloud, Monsieur _Brisac_, of a fair +Estate, six thousand Crowns _per annum_, the happy Father of two hopeful +Sons, of different breeding; the Elder, a meer Scholar; the younger, a +quaint Courtier. + +_Ang_. Sir, I know them by publick fame, though yet I never saw them; and +that oppos'd antipathy between their various dispositions, renders them +the general discourse and argument; one part inclining to the Scholar +_Charles_, the other side preferring _Eustace_, as a man compleat in +Courtship. + +_Lew_. And which way (if of these two you were to chuse a Husband) doth +your affection sway you? + +_Ang_. To be plain Sir, (since you will teach me boldness) as they are +simply themselves, to neither: let a Courtier be never so exact, let him +be bless'd with all parts that yield him to a Virgin gracious; if he +depend on others, and stand not on his own bottoms, though he have the +means to bring his Mistris to a Masque, or by conveyance from some great +ones lips, to taste such favour from the King: or grant he purchase +precedency in the Court, to be sworn a servant Extraordinary to the Queen; +nay, though he live in expectation of some huge preferment in reversion; +if he want a present fortune, at the best those are but glorious dreams, +and only yield him a happiness in _posse_, not in _esse_; nor can they +fetch him Silks from the Mercer, nor discharge a Tailors Bill, nor in full +plenty (which still preserves a quiet Bed at home) maintain a Family. + +_Lew_. Aptly consider'd, and to my wish: But what's thy censure of the +Scholar? + +_Ang._ Troth (if he be nothing else) as of the Courtier, all his Songs and +Sonnets, his Anagrams, Acrosticks, Epigrams, his deep and Philosophical +Discourse of Nature's hidden Secrets, makes not up a perfect Husband; he +can hardly borrow the Stars of the Celestial Crown to make me a Tire for +my Head, nor _Charles's Wain_ for a Coach, nor _Ganymede_ for a Page, nor +a rich Gown from _Juno's_ Wardrobe, nor would I lie in (for I despair not +once to be a Mother) under Heaven's spangled Canopy, or Banquet my Guests +and Gossips with imagin'd Nectar; pure _Orleans_ would do better: No, no, +Father, though I could be well pleas'd to have my Husband a Courtier, and +a Scholar, young, and valiant; these are but gawdy nothings, if there be +not something to make a substance. + +_Lew._ And what is that? + +_Ang._ A full Estate, and that said, I've said all; and get me such a one +with these Additions, farwel Virginity, and welcome Wedlock. + +_Lew._ But where is such a one to be met with, Daughter? A black Swan is +more common; you may wear grey Tresses e're we find him. + +_Ang._ I am not so punctual in all Ceremonies, I will 'bate two or three +of these good parts, before I'le dwell too long upon the choice. + +_Syl._ Only, my Lord, remember, that he be rich and active, for without +these, the others yield no relish, but these perfect. You must bear with +small faults, Madam. + +_Lew._ Merry Wench, and it becomes you well; I'le to _Brisac_, and try +what may be done; i'th' mean time home, and feast thy thoughts with +th'pleasures of a Bride. + +_Syl._ Thoughts are but airy food, Sir, let her taste them. + + + + +ACTUS I. SCENA II. + + +_Enter_ Andrew, Cook, _and_ Butler. + +_And._ Unload part of the Library, and make room for th'other dozen of +Carts; I'le straight be with you. + +_Cook._ Why, hath he more Books? + +_And._ More than ten Marts send over. + +_But._ And can he tell their names? + +_And._ Their names! he has 'em as perfect as his _Pater Noster_; but +that's nothing, h'as read them over leaf by leaf three thousand times; but +here's the wonder, though their weight would sink a Spanish Carrock, +without other Ballast, he carrieth them all in his head, and yet he walks +upright. + +_But._ Surely he has a strong brain. + +_And._ If all thy pipes of Wine were fill'd with Books, made of the Barks +of Trees, or Mysteries writ in old moth-eaten Vellam, he would sip thy +Cellar quite dry, and still be thirsty: Then for's Diet, he eats and +digests more Volumes at a meal, than there would be Larks (though the Sky +should fall) devoured in a month in _Paris_. Yet fear not Sons o'the +Buttery and Kitchin, though his learn'd stomach cannot be appeas'd; he'll +seldom trouble you, his knowing stomach contemns your Black-jacks, +_Butler_, and your Flagons; and _Cook_, thy Boil'd, thy Rost, thy Bak'd. + +_Cook._ How liveth he? + +_And._ Not as other men do, few Princes fare like him; he breaks his fast +with _Aristotle_, dines with _Tully_, takes his watering with the _Muses_, +sups with _Livy_, then walks a turn or two in _Via Lactea_, and (after six +hours conference with the Stars) sleeps with old _Erra Pater_. + +_But._ This is admirable. + +_And._ I'le tell you more hereafter. Here's my old Master, and another old +ignorant Elder; I'le upon 'em. + +_Enter_ Brisac, Lewis. + +_Bri._ What, _Andrew_? welcome; where's my _Charles_? speak, _Andrew_, +where did'st thou leave thy Master? + +_And._ Contemplating the number of the Sands in the Highway, and from +that, purposes to make a Judgment of the remainder in the Sea: he is, Sir, +in serious study, and will lose no minute, nor out of's pace to knowledge. + +_Lew._ This is strange. + +_And._ Yet he hath sent his duty, Sir, before him in this fair Manuscript. + +_Bri._ What have we here? Pot-hooks and Andirons! + +_And._ I much pity you, it is the Syrian Character, or the Arabick. Would +you have it said, so great and deep a Scholar as Mr _Charles_ is, should +ask blessing in any Christian Language? Were it Greek I could interpret +for you, but indeed I'm gone no farther. + +_Bri._ And in Greek you can lie with your smug Wife _Lilly_. + +_And_. If I keep her from your French Dialect, as I hope I shall, Sir; +however she is your Landress, she shall put you to the charge of no more +Soap than usual for th'washing of your Sheets. + +_Bri_. Take in the Knave, and let him eat. + +_And_. And drink too, Sir. + +_Bri_. And drink too Sir, and see your Masters Chamber ready for him. + +_But_. Come, Dr _Andrew_, without Disputation thou shalt Commence i'the +Cellar. + +_And_. I had rather Commence on a cold Bak'd meat. + +_Cook_. Thou shalt ha't, Boy. + +_Bri_. Good Monsieur _Lewis_, I esteem my self much honour'd in your clear +intent, to joyn our ancient Families, and make them one; and 'twill take +from my age and cares, to live and see what you have purpos'd but in act, +of which your visit at this present is a hopeful Omen; I each minute +expecting the arrival of my Sons; I have not wrong'd their Birth for want +of Means and Education, to shape them to that course each was addicted; +and therefore that we may proceed discreetly, since what's concluded +rashly seldom prospers, you first shall take a strict perusal of them, and +then from your allowance, your fair Daughter m[a]y fashion her affection. + +_Lew_. Monsieur _Brisac_, you offer fair and nobly, and I'le meet you in +the same line of Honour; and I hope, being blest but with one Daughter, I +shall not appear impertinently curious, though with my utmost vigilance +and study, I labour to bestow her to her worth: Let others speak her form, +and future Fortune from me descending to her; I in that sit down with +silence. + +_Bri_. You may, my Lord, securely, since Fame aloud proclaimeth her +perfections, commanding all mens tongues to sing her praises; should I say +more, you well might censure me (what yet I never was) a Flatterer. What +trampling's that without of Horses? + +_Enter_ Butler. + +_But_. Sir, my young Masters are newly alighted. + +_Bri_. Sir, now observe their several dispositions. + +_Enter_ Charles. + +_Char_. Bid my Supsiser carry my Hackney to the Butt'ry, and give him his +Bever; it is a civil and sober Beast, and will drink moderately; and that +done, turn him into the Quadrangle. + +_Bri_. He cannot out of his University tone. + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Eust_. Lackey, take care our Coursers be well rubb'd, and cloath'd; they +have out-stripp'd the Wind in speed. + +_Lew_. I marry, Sir, there's metal in this young Fellow! What a Sheep's +look his elder Brother has! + +_Char_. Your blessing, Sir. + +_Bri_. Rise, _Charles_, thou hast it. + +_Eust_. Sir, though it be unusual in the Court, (since 'tis the Courtiers +garb) I bend my knee, and do expert what follows. + +_Bri_. Courtly begg'd. My blessing, take it. + +_Eust. (to Lew.)_ Your Lordship's vow'd adorer. What a thing this Brother +is! yet I'le vouchsafe him the new Italian shrug-- +How clownishly the Book-worm does return it! + +_Char_. I'm glad ye are well. [_Reads_. + +_Eust_. Pray you be happy in the knowledge of this pair of accomplish'd +Monsieurs; they are Gallants that have seen both Tropicks. + +_Bri_. I embrace their love. + +_Egr_. Which we'll repay with servulating. + +_Cow_. And will report your bounty in the Court. + +_Bri_. I pray you make deserving use on't first. _Eustace_, give +entertainment to your Friends; what's in my house is theirs. + +_Eust_. Which we'll make use of; let's warm our brains with half a dozen +Healths, and then hang cold discourse, for we'll speak Fire-works. [_Ex_. + +_Lew._ What, at his Book already? + +_Bri._ Fie, fie, _Charles_, no hour of interruption? + +_Char._ Plato differs from Socrates in this. + +_Bri._ Come, lay them by; let them agree at leisure. + +_Char._ Man's life, Sir, being so short, and then the way that leads unto +the knowledge of our selves, so long and tedious, each minute should be +precious. + +_Bri._ In our care to manage worldly business, you must part with this +Bookish contemplation, and prepare your self for action; to thrive in this +Age is held the blame of Learning: You must study to know what part of my +Land's good for the Plough, and what for Pasture; how to buy and sell to +the best advantage; how to cure my Oxen when they're o'er-grown with +labour. + +_Char._ I may do this from what I've read, Sir; for, what concerns +Tillage, who better can deliver it than _Virgil_ in his _Georgicks_? and +to cure your Herds, his _Bucolicks_ is a Masterpiece; but when he does +describe the Commonwealth of Bees, their industry, and knowledge of the +herbs from which they gather Honey, with their care to place it with +_decorum_ in the Hive; their Government among themselves, their order in +going forth, and coming loaden home; their obedience to their King, and +his rewards to such as labour, with his punishments only inflicted on the +slothful Drone; I'm ravish'd with it, and there reap my Harvest, and there +receive the gain my Cattle bring me, and there find Wax and Honey. + +_Bri._ And grow rich in your imagination; heyday, heyday! _Georgicks_, +_Bucolicks_, and Bees! art mad? + +_Char._ No, Sir, the knowledge of these guards me from it. + +_Bri._ But can you find among your bundle of Books (and put in all your +Dictionaries that speak all Tongues) what pleasure they enjoy, that do +embrace a well-shap'd wealthy Bride? Answer me that. + +_Char._ 'Tis frequent, Sir, in Story, there I read of all kind of virtuous +and vitious women; the antient Spartan Dames, and Roman Ladies, their +Beauties and Deformities; and when I light upon a _Portia_ or _Cornelia_, +crown'd with still flourishing leaves of truth and goodness; with such a +feeling I peruse their Fortunes, as if I then had liv'd, and freely tasted +their ravishing sweetness; at the present loving the whole Sex for their +goodness and example. But on the contrary, when I look on a +_Clytemnestra_, or a _Tullia_; the first bath'd in her Husband[s] bloud; +the latter, without a touch of piety, driving on her Chariot o'er her +Father's breathless Trunk, horrour invades my faculties; and comparing the +multitudes o'th' guilty, with the few that did die Innocents, I detest and +loath 'em as Ignorance or Atheism. + +_Bri_. You resolve then ne'er to make payment of the debt you owe me. + +_Char._ What debt, good Sir? + +_Bri_. A debt I paid my Father when I begat thee, and made him a +Grandsire, which I expect. from you. + +_Char_. The Children, Sir, which I will leave to all posterity, begot and +brought up by my painful Studies, shall be my living Issue. + +_Bri_. Very well; and I shall have a general Collection of all the +quiddits from _Adam_ to this time, to be my Grandchild. + +_Char_. And such a one, I hope, Sir, as shall not shame the Family. + +_Bri_. Nor will you take care of my Estate? + +_Char_. But in my wishes; for know, Sir, that the wings on which my Soul +is mounted, have long since born her too high, to stoop to any Prey that +soars not upwards. Sordid and dunghill minds, compos'd of earth, in that +gross Element fix all their happiness; but purer Spirits, purged and +refin'd, shake off that clog of humane frailty; give me leave t'enjoy my +self; that place that does contain my Books (the best Compa[n]ions) is to +me a glorious Court, where hourly I converse with the old Sages and +Philosophers, and sometimes for variety, I confer with Kings and Emperors, +and weigh their Counsels, calling their Victories (if unjustly got) unto a +strict accompt, and in my phancy, deface their ill-plac'd Statues; can I +then part with such constant pleasures, to embrace uncertain vanities? No, +be it your care t'augment your heap of wealth; it shall be mine t'increase +in knowledge--Lights there for my Study-- [_Exit._ + +_Bri_. Was ever man that had reason thus transported from all sense and +feeling of his proper good? It vexes me, and if I found not comfort in my +young _Eustace_, I might well conclude my name were at a period! + +_Lew_. He is indeed, Sir, the surer base to build on. + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy, _and_ Andrew. + +_Bri_. Eustace. + +_Eust_. Sir. + +_Bri_. Your ear in private. + +_And_. I suspect my Master has found harsh welcome, he's gone supperless +into his Study; could I find out the cause, it may be borrowing of his +Books, or so, I shall be satisfied. + +_Eust_. My duty shall, Sir, take any form you please; and in your motion +to have me married, you cut off all dangers the violent heats of youth +might bear me to. + +_Lew_. It is well answer'd. + +_Eust_. Nor shall you, my Lord, for your fair Daughter ever find just +cause to mourn your choice of me; the name of Husband, nor the authority +it carries in it, shall ever teach me to forget to be, as I am now, her +Servant, and your Lordship's; and but that modesty forbids, that I should +sound the Trumpet of my own deserts, I could say, my choice manners have +been such, as render me lov'd and remarkable to the Princes of the Blood, + +_Cow_. Nay, to the King. + +_Egre_. Nay to the King and Council. + +_And_. These are Court-admirers, and ever echo him that bears the Bag. +Though I be dull-ey'd, I see through this jugling. + +_Eust_. Then for my hopes. + +_Cow_. Nay certainties. + +_Eust_. They stand as fair as any mans. What can there fall in compass of +her wishes, which she shall not be suddenly possess'd of? Loves she +Titles? by the grace and favour of my Princely Friends, I am what she +would have me. + +_Bri_. He speaks well, and I believe him. + +_Lew_. I could wish I did so. Pray you a word, Sir. He's a proper +Gentleman, and promises nothing, but what is possible. So far I will go +with you; nay, I add, he hath won much upon me; and were he but one thing +that his Brother is, the bargain were soon struck up. + +_Bri_. What's that, my Lord? + +_Lew_. The Heir. + +_And_. Which he is not, and I trust never shall be. + +_Bri._ Come, that shall breed no difference; you see _Charles_ has given +o'er the world; I'le undertake, and with much ease, to buy his Birth-right +of him for a Dry-fat of new Books; nor shall my state alone make way for +him, but my elder Brothers, who being issueless, to advance our name, I +doubt not will add his. Your resolution? + +_Lew._ I'le first acquaint my Daughter with the proceedings; on these +terms I am yours, as she shall be, make you no scruple. Get the Writings +ready, she shall be tractable; to morrow we will hold a second conference. +Farewell noble _Eustace_; and you brave Gallants. + +_Eust._ Full increase of honour wait ever on your Lordship. + +_And._ The Gout rather, and a perpetual Meagrim. + +_Bri._ You see, _Eustace_, how I travel to possess you of a Fortune you +were not born to; be you worthy of it: I'le furnish you for a Suitor: +visit her, and prosper in't. + +_Eust._ She's mine, Sir, fear it not: in all my travels, I ne'er met a +Virgin that could resist my Courtship. If it take now, we're made for +ever, and will revel it. [_Ex._ + +_And._ In tough Welsh Parsly, which, in our vulgar Tongue, is strong +Hempen Halters; my poor Master cozen'd, and I a looker on! If we have +studi'd our Majors and our Minors, Antecedents and Consequents, to be +concluded Coxcombs, w'have made a fair hand on't. I am glad I have found +out all their plots, and their Conspiracies; this shall t'old Monsieur +_Miramont_, one, that though he cannot read a Proclamation, yet dotes on +Learning, and loves my Master _Charles_ for being a Scholar; I hear he's +coming hither, I shall meet him; and if he be that old, rough, testy blade +he always us'd to be, I'le ring him such a peal, as shall go near to shake +their Belroom, peradventure beat'm, for he is fire and flax; and so have +at him. [_Exit._ + + + + +_ACTUS SE[C]UNDUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Miramount, Brisac. + +_Mir._ Nay, Brother, Brother. + +_Bri._ Pray, Sir, be not moved, I meddle with no business but mine own, +and in mine own 'tis reason I should govern. + +_Mir._ But how to govern then, and understand, Sir, and be as wise as +y'are hasty, though you be my Brother, and from one bloud sprung, I must +tell ye heartily and home too. + +_Bri._ What, Sir? + +_Mir._ What I grieve to find, you are a fool, and an old fool, and that's +two. + +_Bri._ We'll part 'em, if you please. + +_Mir._ No, they're entail'd to 'em. Seek to deprive an honest noble +Spirit, your eldest Son, Sir, and your very Image, (but he's so like you, +that he fares the worse for't) because he loves his Book, and dotes on +that, and only studies how to know things excellent, above the reach of +such course Brains as yours, such muddy Fancies, that never will know +farther than when to cut your Vines, and cozen Merchants, and choak your +hidebound Tenants with musty Harvests. + +_Bri._ You go too fast. + +_Mir._ I'am not come to my pace yet. Because h'has made his study all his +pleasure, and is retir'd into his Contemplation, not medling with the dirt +and chaff of Nature, that makes the spirit of the mind mud too; therefore +must he be flung from his inheritance? must he be dispossess'd, and +Monsieur Gingle-boy his younger Brother-- + +_Bri._ You forget your self. + +_Mir._ Because h'has been at Court, and learn'd new Tongues, and how to +speak a tedious piece of nothing; to vary his face as Sea-men do their +compass, to worship Images of gold and silver, and fall before the She- +calves of the season; therefore must he jump into his Brother's Land? + +_Bri._ Have you done yet, and have you spoke enough in praise of Learning, +Sir? + +_Mir._ Never enough. + +_Bri._ But, Brother, do you know what Learning is? + +_Mir._ It is not to be a Justice of Peace as you are, and palter out your +time i'th' penal Statutes. To hear the curious Tenets controverted between +a Protestant Constable, and Jesuite Cobler; to pick Natural Philosophy out +of Bawdry, when your Worship's pleas'd to correctifie a Lady; nor 'tis not +the main Moral of blind Justice, (which is deep Learning) when your +Worships Tenants bring a light cause, and heavy Hens before ye, both fat +and feeble, a Goose or Pig; and then you'll sit like equity with both +hands weighing indifferently the state o'th' question. These are your +Quodlibets, but no Learning, Brother. + +_Bri._ You are so parlously in love with Learning, that I'd be glad to +know what you understand, Brother; I'm sure you have read all _Aristotle_. + +_Mir._ Faith no; but I believe I have a learned faith, Sir, and that's it +makes a Gentleman of my sort; though I can speak no Greek, I love the +sound of 't, it goes so thund'ring as it conjur'd Devils: _Charles_ speaks +it loftily, and if thou wert a man, or had'st but ever heard of _Homers +Iliads_, _Hesiod_, and the Greek Poets, thou wouldst run mad, and hang thy +self for joy th' hadst such a Gentleman to be thy Son: O he has read such +things to me! + +_Bri._ And you do understand 'em, Brother? + +_Mir._ I tell thee, No, that's not material; the sound's sufficient to +confirm an honest man: Good Brother _Brisac_, does your young Courtier, +that wears the fine Cloaths, and is the excellent Gentleman, (the +Traveller, the Soldier, as you think too) understand any other power than +his Tailor? or knows what motion is more than an Horse-race? What the Moon +means, but to light him home from taverns? or the comfort of the Sun is, +but to wear slash'd clothes in? And must this piece of ignorance be popt +up, because 't can kiss the hand, and cry, sweet Lady? Say it had been at +_Rome_, and seen the Reliques, drunk your _Verdea_ Wine, and rid at +_Naples_, brought home a Box of _Venice_ Treacle with it, to cure young +Wenches that have eaten Ashes: Must this thing therefore?-- + +_Bri._ Yes Sir, this thing must; I will not trust my Land to one so +sotted, so grown like a Disease unto his Study; he that will fling off all +occasions and cares, to make him understand what state is, and how to +govern it, must, by that reason, be flung himself aside from managing. My +younger Boy is a fine Gentleman. + +_Mir._ He is an Ass, a piece of Ginger-bread, gilt over to please foolish +Girls puppets. + +_Bri._ You are my elder Brother. + +_Mir._ So I had need, and have an elder Wit, thou'dst shame us all else. +Go to, I say, _Charles_ shall inherit. + +_Bri._ I say, no, unless _Charles_ had a Soul to understand it; can he +manage six thousand Crowns a year out of the Metaphysics? or can all his +learn'd Astronomy look to my Vineyards? Can the drunken old Poets make up +my Vines? (I know they can drink 'em) or your excellent Humanists sell 'em +the Merchants for my best advantage? Can History cut my Hay, or get my +Corn in? And can Geometry vend it in the Market? Shall I have my sheep +kept with a _Jacobs-staff_ now? I wonder you will magnifie this madman, +you that are old, and should understand. + +_Mir._ Should, say'st thou? thou monstrous piece of ignorance in Office! +thou that hast no more knowledge than thy Clerk infuses, thy dapper Clerk, +larded with ends of Latin, and he no more than custom of offences. Thou +unreprieveable Dunce! that thy formal Bandstrings, thy Ring, nor pomander +cannot expiate for, dost thou tell me I should? I'le pose thy Worship in +thine own Library and Almanack, which thou art daily poring on, to pick +out days of iniquity to cozen fools in, and Full Moons to cut Cattle: dost +thou taint me, that have run over Story, Poetry, Humanity? + +_Bri._ As a cold nipping shadow does o'er ears of Corn, and leave 'em +blasted, put up your anger, what I'll do, I'll do. + +_Mir._ Thou shalt not do. + +_Bri._ I will. + +_Mir._ Thou art an Ass then, a dull old tedious Ass; th' art ten times +worse, and of less credit than Dunce _Hollingshead_ the Englishman, that +writes of Shows and Sheriffs. + +_Enter_ Lewis. + +_Bri._ Well, take your pleasure, here's one I must talk with. + +_Lew._ Good-day, Sir. + +_Bri._ Fair to you, Sir. + +_Lew._ May I speak w'ye? + +_Bri._ With all my heart, I was waiting on your goodness. + +_Lew._ Good morrow, Monsieur _Miramont_. + +_Mir._ O sweet Sir, keep your good morrow to cool your Worships pottage; a +couple of the worlds fools met together to raise up dirt and dunghils. + +_Lew._ Are they drawn? + +_Bri._ They shall be ready, Sir, within these two hours; and _Charles_ set +his hand. + +_Lew._ 'Tis necessary; for he being a joint purchaser, though your Estate +was got by your own industry, unless he seal to the Conveyance, it can be +of no validity. + +_Bri._ He shall be ready and do it willingly. + +_Mir._ He shall be hang'd first. + +_Bri._ I hope your Daughter likes. + +_Lew._ She loves him well, Sir; young _Eustace_ is a bait to catch a +Woman, a budding spritely Fellow; y'are resolv'd then, that all shall pass +from _Charles_? + +_Bri._ All, all, he's nothing; a bunch of Books shall be his Patrimony, +and more than he can manage too. + +_Lew._ Will your Brother pass over his Land to your son _Eustace_? you +know he has no Heir. + +_Mir._ He will be flead first, and Horse-collars made of's skin. + +_Bri._ Let him alone, a wilful man; my Estate shall serve the turn, Sir. +And how does your Daughter? + +_Lew._ Ready for the hour, and like a blushing Rose that stays the +pulling. + +_Bri._ To morrow then's the day. + +_Lew._ Why then to morrow I'll bring the Girl; get you the Writings ready. + +_Mir._ But hark you, Monsieur, have you the virtuous conscience to help to +rob an Heir, an Elder Brother, of that which Nature and the Law flings on +him? You were your Father's eldest Son, I take it, and had his Land; would +you had had his wit too, or his discretion, to consider nobly, what 'tis +to deal unworthily in these things; you'll say he's none of yours, he's +his Son; and he will say, he is no Son to inherit above a shelf of Books: +Why did he get him? why was he brought up to write and read, and know +these things? why was he not like his Father, a dumb Justice? a flat dull +piece of phlegm, shap'd like a man, a reverend Idol in a piece of Arras? +Can you lay disobedience, want of manners, or any capital crime to his +charge? + +_Lew._ I do not, nor do weigh your words, they bite not me, Sir; this man +must answer. + +_Bri._ I have don't already, and given sufficient reason to secure me: and +so good morrow, Brother, to your patience. + +_Lew._ Good morrow, Monsieur _Miramont_. + +_Mir._ Good Night-caps keep brains warm, or Maggots will breed in 'em. +Well, _Charles_, thou shalt not want to buy thee Books yet, the fairest in +thy Study are my gift, and the University of _Lovain_, for thy sake, hath +tasted of my bounty; and to vex the old doting Fool thy Father, and thy +Brother, they shall not share a _Solz_ of mine between them; nay more, +I'll give thee eight thousand Crowns a year, in some high strain to write +my Epitaph. + + + +ACTUS II. SCENA II. + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Eust._ How do I look now, my Elder Brother? Nay, 'tis a handsome Suit. + +_Cow._ All Courtly, Courtly. + +_Eust._ I'll assure ye, Gentlemen, my Tailor has travel'd, and speaks as +lofty Language in his Bills too; the cover of an old Book would not shew +thus. Fie, fie; what things these Academicks are! these Book-worms, how +they look! + +_Egre._ They're meer Images, no gentle motion or behaviour in 'em; they'll +prattle ye of _Primum Mobile_, and tell a story of the state of Heaven, +what Lords and Ladies govern in such Houses, and what wonders they do when +they meet together, and how they spit Snow, Fire, and Hail, like a Jugler, +and make a noise when they are drunk, which we call Thunder. + +_Cow._ They are the sneaking'st things, and the contemptiblest; such +Small-beer brains, but ask 'em any thing out of the Element of their +understanding, and they stand gaping like a roasted Pig: do they know what +a Court is, or a Council, or how the affairs of Christendom are manag'd? +Do they know any thing but a tired Hackney? and they cry absurd as the +Horse understood 'em. They have made a fair Youth of your Elder Brother, a +pretty piece of flesh! + +_Eust._ I thank 'em for't, long may he study to give me his Estate. Saw +you my Mistris? + +_Egre._ Yes, she's a sweet young Woman; but be sure you keep her from +Learning. + +_Eust._ Songs she may have, and read a little unbak'd Poetry, such as the +Dablers of our time contrive, that has no weight nor wheel to move the +mind, nor indeed nothing but an empty sound; she shall have cloaths, but +not made by Geometry; Horses and Coach, but of no immortal Race: I will +not have a Scholar in my house above a gentle Reader; they corrupt the +foolish Women with their subtle Problems; I'le have my house call'd +ignorance, to fright prating Philosophers from Entertainment. + +_Cow._ It will do well, love those that love good fashions, good cloaths, +and rich; they invite men to admire 'em, that speak the lisp of Court. Oh +'tis great Learning! to Ride well, Dance well, Sing well, or Whistle +Courtly, they're rare endowments; that they have seen far Countreys, and +can speak strange things, though they speak no truths, for then they make +things common. When are you marri'd? + +_Eust._ To morrow, I think; we must have a Masque, Boys, and of our own +making. + +_Egre._ 'Tis not half an hours work, a _Cupid_, and a Fiddle, and the +thing's done: but let's be handsome, shall's be Gods or Nymphs? + +_Eust._ What, Nymphs with Beards? + +_Cow._ That's true, we'll be Knights then; some wandring Knights, that +light here on a sudden. + +_Eust._ Let's go, let's go, I must go visit, Gentlemen, and mark what +sweet lips I must kiss to morrow. [_Exeunt._ + + + +ACTUS II. SCENA III. + + +_Enter_ Cook, Andrew, Butler, + +_Cook._ And how do's my Master? + +_And._ He's at's Book; peace, Coxcomb, that such an unlearned tongue as +thine should ask for him! + +_Co._ Do's he not study conjuring too? + +_And._ Have you lost any Plate, _Butler_? + +_But._ No, but I know I shall to morrow at dinner. + +_And._ Then to morrow you shall be turn'd out of your place for't; we +meddle with no spirit o'th' Buttery, they taste too small for us; keep me +a Pie in _Folio_, I beseech thee, and thou shalt see how learnedly I'le +translate him. Shall's have good cheer to morrow? + +_Co._ Excellent good cheer, _Andrew_. + +_And._ The spight on't is, that much about that time, I shall be arguing, +or deciding rather, which are the Males or Females of Red Herrings, and +whether they be taken in the Red-Sea only; a question found out by +_Copernicus_, the learned Motion-maker. + +_Co._ I marry, _Butler_, here are rare things; a man that look'd upon him, +would swear he understood no more than we do. + +_But._ Certain, a learned _Andrew_. + +_And._ I've so much on't, and am so loaden with strong understanding, I +fear, they'll run me mad. Here's a new Instrument, a Mathematical Glister +to purge the Moon with when she is laden with cold phlegmatick humours; +and here's another to remove the Stars, when they grow too thick in the +Firmament. + +_Co._ O Heavens! why do I labour out my life in a Beef-pot? and only +search the secrets of a Sallad, and know no farther? + +_And._ They are not reveal'd to all heads; these are far above your +Element of Fire, _Cook_. I could tell you of _Archimedes_ Glass, to fire +your Coals with; and of the Philosophers Turf, that ne'er goes out: and, +_Gilbert Butler_, I could ravish thee with two rare inventions. + +_But._ What are they, _Andrew_. + +_And._ The one to blanch your Bread from chippings base, and in a moment, +as thou wouldst an Almond; the Sect of the Epicureans invented that: The +other for thy Trenchers, that's a strong one, to cleanse you twenty dozen +in a minute, and no noise heard, which is the wonder, _Gilbert_; and this +was out of _Plato_'s new _Ideas_. + +_But._ Why, what a learned Master do'st thou serve, _Andrew_? + +_And._ These are but the scrapings of his understanding, _Gilbert_; with +gods and goddesses, and such strange people he deals, and treats with in +so plain a fashion, as thou do'st with thy Boy that draws thy drink, or +_Ralph_ there, with his Kitchin-Boys and Scalders. + +_Co._ But why should he not be familiar, and talk sometimes, as other +Christians do, of hearty matters, and come into the Kitchin, and there cut +his Breakfast? + +_But._ And then retire to the Buttery, and there eat it, and drink a lusty +Bowl to my young Master, that must be now the Heir, he'll do all these, I +and be drunk too; these are mortal things. + +_And._ My Master studies immortality. + +_Co._ Now thou talk'st of immortality, how do's thy Wife, _Andrew_? my old +Master did you no small Pleasure when he procur'd her, and stock'd you in +a Farm. If he should love her now, as he hath a Colts tooth yet, what says +your learning and your strange Instruments to that, my _Andrew_? Can any +of your learned Clerks avoid it? can ye put by his Mathematical Engine? + +_And._ Yes, or I'le break it: thou awaken'st me, and I'le peep i'th' Moon +this month but I'le watch for him. My Master rings, I must go make him a +fire, and conjure o'er his Books. + +_Co._ Adieu, good _Andrew_, and send thee manly patience with thy +learning. [_Exeunt._ + + + +ACTUS II. SCENA IV. + + +_Enter_ Charles. + +_Cha._ I have forgot to eat and sleep with reading, and all my faculties +turn into study; 'tis meat and sleep; what need I outward garments, when I +can cloath my self with understanding? The Stars and glorious Planets have +no Tailors, yet ever new they are, and shine like Courtiers. The Seasons +of the year find no fond Parents, yet some are arm'd in silver Ice that +glisters, and some in gawdy Green come in like Masquers. The Silk-worm +spins her own suit and lodging, and has no aid nor partner in her labours. +Why should we care for any thing but knowledge, or look upon the World but +to contemn it? + +_Enter_ Andrew. + +_And._ Would you have any thing? + +_Char._ _Andrew_, I find there is a flie grown o'er the Eye o'th' _Bull_, +which will go near to blind the Constellation. + +_And._ Put a Gold-ring in's nose, and that will cure him. + +_Char._ _Ariadne_'s Crown's away too; two main Stars that held it fast are +slip[t] out. + +_And._ Send it presently to _Galateo_, the Italian Star-wright, he'll set +it right again with little labour. + +_Char._ Thou art a pretty Scholar. + +_And._ I hope I shall be; have I swept Books so often to know nothing? + +_Char._ I hear thou art married. + +_And._ It hath pleas'd your Father to match me to a Maid of his own +chusing; I doubt her Constellation's loose too, and wants nailing; and a +sweet Farm he has given us a mile off, Sir. + +_Char._ Marry thy self to understanding, _Andrew_; these Women are +_Errata_ in all Authors, they're fair to see to, and bound up in Vellam, +smooth, white and clear, but their contents are monstrous; they treat of +nothing but dull age and diseases. Thou hast not so much wit in thy head, +as there is on those shelves, _Andrew_. + +_And._ I think I have not, Sir. + +_Char._ No, if thou had'st, thou'ld'st ne'er married a Woman in thy bosom, +they're Cataplasms made o'th' deadly sins: I ne'er saw any yet but mine +own Mother; or if I did, I did regard them but as shadows that pass by of +under creatures. + +_And._ Shall I bring you one? He trust you with my own Wife; I would not +have your Brother go beyond ye; they're the prettiest Natural Philosophers +to play with. + +_Char._ No, no, they're Opticks to delude mens eyes with. Does my younger +Brother speak any Greek yet, _Andrew_? + +_And._ No, but he speaks High Dutch, and that goes daintily. + +_Char._ Reach me the Books down I read yesterday, and make a little fire, +and get a manchet; make clean those Instruments of Brass I shew'd you, and +set the great Sphere by; then take the Fox tail, and purge the Books from +dust; last, take your _Lilly_, and get your part ready. + +_And._ Shall I go home, Sir? my Wife's name is _Lilly_, there my best part +lies, Sir. + +_Charles._ I mean your Grammar, O thou Dunderhead would'st thou be ever in +thy Wife's _Syntaxis_? Let me have no noise, nor nothing to disturb me; I +am to find a secret. + +_And._ So am I too; which if I find, I shall make some smart for't-- + [_Exeunt._ + + + + +_ACTUS TERTIUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, Sylvia, Notary. + +_Lewis._ This is the day, my Daughter Angellina, the happy, that must make +you a Fortune, a large and full one, my care has wrought it, and yours +must be as great to entertain it. Young _Eustace_ is a Gentleman at all +points, and his behaviour affable and courtly, his person excellent; I +know you find that, I read it in your eyes, you like his youth; young +handsome people should be match'd together, then follows handsome +Children, handsome fortunes; the most part of his Father's Estate, my +Wench, is ti'd in a Jointure, that makes up the harmony; and when ye are +married, he's of that soft temper, and so far will be chain'd to your +observance, that you may rule and turn him as you please. What, are the +Writings drawn on your side, Sir? + +_Not._ They are, and here I have so fetter'd him, that if the Elder +Brother set his hand to, not all the power of Law shall e'er release him. + +_Lew._ These Notaries are notable confident Knaves, and able to do more +mischief than an Army. Are all your Clauses sure? + +_Not._ Sure as proportion; they may turn Rivers sooner than these +Writings. + +_Lew._ Why did you not put all the Lands in, Sir? + +_Not._ 'Twas not condition'd; if it had been found, it had been but a +fault made in the Writing; if not found, all the Land. + +_Lew._ These are small Devils, that care not who has mischief, so they +make it; they live upon the meer scent of dissention. 'Tis well, 'tis +well; are you contented, Girl? for your will must be known. + +_Ang._ A Husband's welcome, and as an humble Wife I'le entertain him; no +Sovereignty I aim at, 'tis the man's, Sir; for she that seeks it, kills +her husbands honour: The Gentleman I have seen, and well observ'd him, yet +find not that grac'd excellence you promise; a pretty Gentleman, and he +may please too, and some few flashes I have heard come from him, but not +to admiration as to others: He's young, and may be good, yet he must make +it, and I may help, and help to thank him also. It is your pleasure I +should make him mine, and 't has been still my duty to observe you. + +_Lew._ Why then let's go, and I shall love your modesty. To Horse, and +bring the Coach out, _Angellina_; to morrow you will look more womanly. + +_Ang._ So I look honestly, I fear no eyes, Sir. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +ACTUS III. SCENA II. + + +_Enter_ Brisac, Andrew, Cook, Lilly. + +_Bris._ Wait on your Master, he shall have that befits him. + +_And._ No Inheritance, Sir? + +_Bri._ You speak like a fool, a coxcomb; he shall have annual means to buy +him Books, and find him cloathes and meat, what would he more? Trouble him +with Land? 'tis flat against his nature. I love him too, and honour those +gifts in him. + +_And._ Shall Master _Eustace_ have all? + +_Bri._ All, all; he knows how to use it, he's a man bred in the world, +th'other i'th' Heavens. My Masters, pray be wary, and serviceable; and +_Cook_, see all your Sawces be sharp and poynant in the palate, that they +may commend you; look to your Roast and Bak'd meats handsomely, and what +new Kick-shaws and delicate made things--Is th' Musick come? + +_But._ Yes, Sir, they're here at Breakfast. + +_Bri._ There will be a Masque too; you must see this Room clean, and, +_Butler_, your door open to all good-fellows; but have an eye to your +Plate, for there be Furies; my _Lilly_, welcome you are for the Linen, +sort it, and see it ready for the Table, and see the Bride-bed made, and +look the cords be not cut asunder by the Gallants too, there be such +knacks abroad. Hark hither, _Lilly_, to morrow night at twelve a clo[c]k +I'le sup w'ye: your husband shall be safe, I'le send ye meat too; before I +cannot well slip from my company. + +_And._ Will you so, will you so, Sir? I'le make one to eat it, I may +chance make you stagger too. + +_Bri._ No answer, _Lilly_? + +_Lil._ One word about the Linen; I'le be ready, and rest your Worships +still. + +_And._ And I'le rest w'ye, you shall see what rest 'twill be. Are ye so +nimble? a man had need have ten pair of ears to watch you. + +_Bri._ Wait on your Master, for I know he wants ye, and keep him in his +Study, that the noise do not molest him. I will not fail my _Lilly_--Come +in, sweet-hearts, all to their several duties. [_Exeunt._ + +_And._ Are you kissing ripe, Sir? Double but my Farm, and kiss her till +thy heart ake. These Smock-vermine, how eagerly they leap at old mens +kisses, they lick their lips at profit, not at pleasure; and if 't were +not for the scurvy name of Cuckold, he should lie with her. I know she'll +labour at length with a good Lordship. If he had a Wife now, but that's +all one, I'le fit him. I must up unto my Master, he'll be mad with Study-- + [_Exit._ + + + + +ACTUS III. SCENA III. + + +_Enter_ Charles. + +_Char._ What a noise is in this house? my head is broken, within a +Parenthesis, in every corner, as if the Earth were shaken with some +strange Collect, there are stirs and motions. What Planet rules this +house? + +_Enter_ Andrew. + +Who's there? + +_And._ 'Tis I, Sir, faithful _Andrew_. + +_Char._ Come near, and lay thine ear down; hear'st no noise? + +_And._ The Cooks are chopping herbs and mince-meat to make Pies, and +breaking Marrow-bones-- + +_Char._ Can they set them again? + +_And._ Yes, yes, in Broths and Puddings, and they grow stronger for the +use of any man. + +_Char._ What speaking's that? sure there's a Massacre. + +_And._ Of Pigs and Geese, Sir, and Turkeys, for the spit. The Cooks are +angry Sirs, and that makes up the medley. + +_Char._ Do they thus at every Dinner? I ne're mark'd them yet, nor know +who is a Cook. + +_And._ They're sometimes sober, and then they beat as gently as a Tabor. + +_Char._ What loads are these? + +_And._ Meat, meat, Sir, for the Kitchen, and stinking Fowls the Tenants +have sent in; they'll ne'r be found out at a general eating; and there's +fat Venison, Sir. + +_Char._ What's that? + +_And._ Why Deer, those that men fatten for their private pleasures, and +let their Tenants starve upon the Commons. + +_Char._ I've read of Deer, but yet I ne'er eat any. + +_And._ There's a Fishmongers Boy with Caviar, Sir, Anchoves, and Potargo, +to make ye drink. + +_Char._ Sure these are modern, very modern meats, for I understand 'em +not. + +_And._ No more does any man from Caca merda, or a substance worse, till +they be greas'd with Oyl, and rubb'd with Onions, and then flung out of +doors, they are rare Sallads. + +_Char._ And why is all this, prethee tell me, _Andrew_? are there any +Princes to dine here to day? by this abundance sure there should be +Princes; I've read of entertainment for the gods at half this charge; will +not six Dishes serve 'em? I never had but one, and that a small one. + +_And._Your Brother's marri'd this day; he's marri'd your younger Brother +_Eustace_. + +_Char._ What of that? + +_And._ And all the Friends about are bidden hither; there's not a Dog that +knows the house, but comes too. + +_Char._ Marri'd! to whom? + +_And._ Why to a dainty Gentlewoman, young, sweet, and modest. + +_Char._ Are there modest women? how do they look? + +_And._ O you'll bless yourself to see them. He parts with's Books, he +ne'er did so before yet. + +_Char._ What does my Father for 'em? + +_And._ Gives all his Land, and makes your Brother heir. + +_Char._ Must I have nothing? + +_And._ Yes, you must study still, and he'll maintain you. + +_Char._ I am his eldest Brother. + +_And._ True, you were so; but he has leap'd o'er your shoulders, Sir. + +_Char._ 'Tis well; he'll not inherit my understanding too? + +_And._ I think not; he'll scarce find Tenants to let it out to. + +_Char._ Hark! hark! + +_And._ The Coach that brings the fair Lady. + +_Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, Ladies, Notary, &c. + +_And._ Now you may see her. + +_Char._ Sure this should be modest, but I do not truly know what women +make of it, _Andrew_; she has a face looks like a story, the story of the +Heavens looks very like her. + +_And._ She has a wide face then. + +_Char._ She has a Cherubin's, cover'd and vail'd with modest blushes. +_Eustace_, be happy, whiles poor _Charles_ is patient. Get me my Books +again, and come in with me-- [_Exeunt._ + +_Enter_ Brisac, Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy, Miramont. + +_Bri._ Welcome, sweet Daughter; welcome, noble Brother; and you are +welcome, Sir, with all your Writings; Ladys, most welcome: What, my angry +Brother! you must be welcome too, the Feast is flat else. + +_Mir._ I am not come for your welcome, I expect none; I bring no joys to +bless the bed withall; nor Songs, nor Masques to glorifie the Nuptials; I +bring an angry mind to see your folly, a sharp one too, to reprehend you +for it. + +_Bri._ You'll stay and dine though. + +_Mir._ All your meat smells musty, your Table will shew nothing to content +me. + +_Bri._ I'le answer you here's good meat. + +_Mir._ But your sauce is scurvie, it is not season'd with the sharpness of +discretion. + +_Eust._ It seems your anger is at me, dear Uncle. + +_Mir._ Thou art not worth my anger, th'art a Boy, a lump o'thy Father's +lightness, made of nothing but antick cloathes and cringes; look in thy +head, and 'twill appear a foot-ball full of fumes and rotten smoke. Lady, +I pity you; you are a handsome and a sweet young Lady, and ought to have a +handsom man yok'd t'ye, an understanding too; this is a Gimcrack, that can +get nothing but new fashions on you; for say he have a thing shap'd like a +child, 'twill either prove a Tumbler or a Tailor. + +_Eust._ These are but harsh words, Uncle. + +_Mir._ So I mean 'em. Sir, you play harsher play w'your elder Brother. + +_Eust._ I would be loth to give you. + +_Mir._ Do not venture, I'le make your wedding cloaths sit closer t'ye +then; I but disturb you, I'le go see my Nephew. + +_Lew._ Pray take a piece of Rosemary. + +_Mir._ I'le wear it, but for the Ladys sake, and none of yours; may be +I'le see your Table too. + +_Bri._ Pray do, Sir. + +_Ang._ A mad old Gentleman. + +_Bri._ Yes faith, sweet Daughter, he has been thus his whole age, to my +knowledge; he has made _Charles_ his Heir, I know that certainly; then why +should he grudge _Eustace_ any thing? + +_Ang._ I would not have a light head, nor one laden with too much +learning, as, they say, this _Charles_ is, that makes his Book his +Mistris; Sure there's something hid in this old man's anger, that declares +him not a meer sot. + +_Bri._ Come, shall we go and seal, Brother? all things are ready, and the +Priest is here. When _Charles_ has set his hand unto the Writings, as he +shall instantly, then to the Wedding, and so to dinner. + +_Lew._ Come, let's seal the Book first for my Daughters Jointure. + +_Bri._ Let's be private in't, Sir. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +ACTUS III. SCENA IV. + + +_Enter_ Charles, Miramont, Andrew. + +_Mir._ Nay, y'are undone. + +_Char._ Hum. + +_Mir._ Ha'ye no greater feeling? + +_And._ You were sensible of the great Book, Sir, when it fell on your +head, and now the house is ready to fall, do you fear nothing? + +_Char._ Will he have my Books too. + +_Mir._ No, he has a Book, a fair one too, to read on, and read wonders; I +would thou hadst her in thy Study, Nephew, and 'twere but to new string +her. + +_Char._ Yes, I saw her, and me thought 'twas a curious piece of Learning, +handsomely bound, and of a dainty Letter. + +_And._ He flung away his Book. + +_Mir._ I like that in him; would he had flung away his dulness too, and +spoke to her. + +_Char._ And must my Brother have all? + +_Mir._ All that your Father has. + +_Char._ And that fair woman too? + +_Mir._ That woman also. + +_Char._ He has enough then. May I not see her sometimes, and call her +sister? I will do him no wrong. + +_Mir._ This makes me mad, I could now cry for anger: these old Fools are +the most stubborn and the wilfullest Coxcombs; Farewell, and fall to your +Book, forget your Brother: you are my Heir, and I'le provide y'a Wife: +I'le look upon this marriage, though I hate it. [_Exit._ + +_Enter_ Brisac. + +_Bri._ Where is my Son? + +_And._ There, Sir, casting a Figure what chopping children his Brother +shall have. + +_Bri._ He does well. How do'st, _Charles_? still at thy Book? + +_And._ He's studying now, Sir, who shall be his Father. + +_Bri._ Peace, you rude Knave--Come hither, _Charles_, be merry. + +_Char._ I thank you, I am busie at my Book, Sir. + +_Bri._ You must put your hand, my _Charles_, as I would have you, unto a +little piece of Parchment here: only your name; you write a reasonable +hand. + +_Char._ But I may do unreasonably to write it. What is it, Sir? + +_Bri._ To pass the Land I have, Sir, unto your younger Brother. + +_Char._ Is't no more? + +_Bri._ No, no, 'tis nothing: you shall be provided for, and new Books you +shall have still, and new Studies, and have your means brought in without +thy care, Boy, and one still to attend you. + +_Char._ This shews your love, Father. + +_Bri._ I'm tender to you. + +_And._ Like a stone, I take it. + +_Char._ Why Father, I'll go down, an't please you let me, because I'd see +the thing they call the Gentlewoman; I see no Woman but through +contemplation, and there I'll do't before the company, and wish my Brother +fortune. + +_Bri._ Do, I prethee. + +_Char._ I must not stay, for I have things above require my study. + +_Bri._ No, thou shalt not stay; thou shalt have a brave dinner too. + +_And._ Now has he o'erthrown himself for ever; I will down into the +Cellar, and be stark drunk for anger. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +ACTUS III. SCENA V. + + +_Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, Eustace, Priest, Ladies, Cowsy, Notary, _and_ +Miramont. + +_Not._ Come, let him bring his Sons hand, and all's done. Is your's ready? + +_Pri._ Yes, I'll dispatch ye presently, immediately, for in truth I am a +hungry. + +_Eust._ Do, speak apace, for we believe exactly: do not we stay long, +Mistress? + +_Ang._ I find no fault, better things well done, than want time to do +them. Uncle, why are you sad? + +_Mir._ Sweet smelling blossom, would I were thine Uncle to thine own +content, I'd make thy Husband's state a thousand better, a yearly +thousand. Thou hast mist a man, (but that he is addicted to his study, and +knows no other Mistress than his mind) would weigh down bundles of these +empty kexes. + +_Ang._ Can he speak, Sir? + +_Mir._ Faith yes, but not to Women; his language is to Heaven, and +heavenly wonder; to Nature, and her dark and secret causes. + +_Ang._ And does he speak well there? + +_Mir._ O admirably! but he's too bashful to behold a Woman, there's none +that sees him, and he troubles none. + +_Ang._ He is a man. + +_Mir._ Faith yes, and a clear sweet spirit. + +_Ang._ Then conversation me thinks-- + +_Mir._ So think I; but it is his rugged Fate, and so I leave you. + +_Ang._ I like thy nobleness. + +_Eust._ See my mad Uncle is courting my fair Mistress. + +_Lew._ Let him alone; there's nothing that allays an angry mind so soon as +a sweet Beauty: he'll come to us. + +_Enter_ Brisac, _and_ Charles. + +_Eust._ My Father's here, my Brother too! that's a wonder, broke like a +Spirit from his Cell. + +_Bri._ Come hither, come nearer, _Charles_; 'twas your desire to see my +noble Daughter, and the company, and give your Brother joy, and then to +Seal, Boy; you do, like a good Brother. + +_Lew._ Marry does he, and he shall have my love for ever for't. Put to +your hand now. + +_Not._ Here's the Deed, Sir, ready. + +_Char._ No, you must pardon me a while, I tell ye, I am in contemplation, +do not trouble me. + +_Bri._ Come, leave thy Study, _Charles_. + +_Char._ I'll leave my life first; I study now to be a man, I've found it. +Before what Man was, was but my Argument. + +_Mir._ I like this best of all, he has taken fire, his dull mist flies +away. + +_Eust._ Will you write, Brother? + +_Char._ No, Brother, no; I have no time for poor things, I'm taking the +height of that bright Constellation. + +_Bri._ I say you trifle time, Son. + +_Char._ I will not seal, Sir; I am your Eldest, and I'll keep my +Birth-right, for Heaven forbid I should become example: Had y'only shew'd +me Land, I had deliver'd it, and been a proud man to have parted with it; +'tis dirt, and labour. Do I speak right, Uncle? + +_Mir._ Bravely, my Boy, and bless thy tongue. + +_Char._ I'll forward: but you have open'd to me such a treasure, I find my +mind free; Heaven direct my fortune. + +_Mir._ Can he speak now? Is this a son to sacrifice? + +_Char._ Such an inimitable piece of Beauty, that I have studied long, and +now found only, that I'll part sooner with my soul of Reason, and be a +Plant, a Beast, a Fish, a Flie, and only make the number of things up, +than yield to one foot of Land, if she be ti'd to't. + +_Lew._ He speaks unhappily. + +_Ang._ And methinks bravely. This the meer Scholar? + +_Eust._ You but vex your self, Brother, and vex your study too. + +_Char._ Go you and study, for 'tis time, young _Eustace_; you want both +man and manners; I've study'd both, although I made no shew on't. Go turn +the Volumes over I have read, eat and digest them, that they may grow in +thee; wear out the tedious night with thy dim Lamp, and sooner lose the +day, than leave a doubt. Distil the sweetness from the Poets Spring, and +learn to love; thou know'st not what fair is: Traverse the stories of the +great Heroes, the wise and civil lives of good men walk through; thou hast +seen nothing but the face of Countrys, and brought home nothing but their +empty words: why shouldst thou wear a Jewel of this worth, that hast no +worth within thee to preserve her? + + _Beauty clear and fair, + Where the Air + Rather like a perfume dwells, + Where the Violet and the Rose + The blew Veins in blush disclose, + And come to honour nothing else. + + Where to live near, + And planted there, + Is to live, and still live new; + Where to gain a favour is + More than light, perpetual bliss, + Make me live by serving you. + + Dear again back recall + To this light, + A stranger to himself and all; + Both the wonder and the story + Shall be yours, and eke the glory; + I am your servant and your thrall._ + +_Mir._ Speak such another Ode, and take all yet. What say ye to the +Scholar now? + +_Ang._ I wonder; is he your Brother, Sir? + +_Eust._ Yes, would he were buried; I fear he'll make an Ass of me a +younger. + +_Ang._ Speak not so softly, Sir, 'tis very likely. + +_Bri._ Come, leave your finical talk, and let's dispatch, _Charles_. + +_Char._ Dispatch, what? + +_Bri._ Why the Land. + +_Char._ You are deceiv'd, Sir. Now I perceive what 'tis that wooes a +woman, and what maintains her when she's woo'd: I'll stop here. A wilful +poverty ne'er made a Beauty, nor want of means maintain'd it vertuously: +though land and moneys be no happiness, yet they are counted good +additions. That use I'll make; he that neglects a blessing, though he want +a present knowledge how to use it, neglects himself. May be I have done +you wrong, Lady, whose love and hope went hand in hand together; may be my +Brother, that has long expected the happy hour, and bless'd my ignorance; +pray give me leave, Sir, I shall clear all doubts; why did they shew me +you? pray tell me that? + +(_Mir._ He'll talk thee into a pension for thy knavery.) + +_Char._ You, happy you, why did you break unto me? The Rosie sugred morn +ne'er broke so sweetly: I am a man, and have desires within me, affections +too, though they were drown'd a while, and lay dead, till the Spring of +beauty rais'd them; till I saw those eyes, I was but a lump, a chaos of +confusedness dwelt in me; then from those eyes shot Love, and he +distinguish'd, and into form he drew my faculties; and now I know my Land, +and now I love too. + +_Bri._ We had best remove the Maid. + +_Char._ It is too late, Sir. I have her figure here. Nay frown not, +_Eustace_, there are less worthy Souls for younger Brothers; this is no +form of Silk, but Sanctity, which wild lascivious hearts can never +dignifie. Remove her where you will, I walk along still, for, like the +light, we make no separation; you may sooner part the Billows of the Sea +and put a barr betwixt their fellowships, than blot out my remembrance; +sooner shut old Time into a Den, and stay his motion, wash off the swift +hours from his downy wings, or steal Eternity to stop his glass, than shut +the sweet Idea I have in me. Room for an Elder Brother, pray give place, +Sir. + +_Mir._ H'as studied duel too; take heed, he'll beat thee. H'as frighted +the old Justice into a Feaver; I hope he'll disinherit him too for an Ass; +for though he be grave with years, he's a great Baby. + +_Char._ Do not you think me mad? + +_Ang._ No certain, Sir, I have heard nothing from you but things +excellent. + +_Char._ You look upon my cloaths, and laugh at me, my scurvy cloaths! + +_Ang._ They have rich linings, Sir. I would your Brother-- + +_Char._ His are gold and gawdie. + +_Ang._ But touch 'em inwardly, they smell of Copper. + +_Char._ Can ye love me? I am an Heir, sweet Lady, however I appear a poor +dependent; love you with honour I shall love so ever. Is your eye +ambitious? I may be a great man; is't wealth or lands you covet? my Father +must die. + +_Mir._ That was well put in, I hope he'll take it deeply. + +_Char._ Old men are not immortal, as I take it; is it you look for, youth +and handsomness? I do confess my Brother's a handsome Gentleman, but he +shall give me leave to lead the way, Lady. Can you love for love, and make +that the reward? The old man shall not love his heaps of Gold with a more +doting superstition, than I'le love you. The young man his delights, the +Merchant, when he ploughs the angry Sea up and sees the mountain billows +falling on him, as if all the Elements, and all their angers, were turn'd +into one vow'd destruction; shall not with greater joy embrace his safety. +We'll live together like two wanton Vines, circling our souls and loves in +one another, we'll spring together, and we'll bear one fruit; one joy +shall make us smile, and one grief mourn; one age go with us, and one hour +of death shall shut our eyes, and one grave make us happy. + +_Ang._ And one hand seal the Match, I'm yours for ever. + +_Lew._ Nay, stay, stay, stay. + +_Ang._ Nay certainly, 'tis done, Sir. + +_Bri._ There was a contract. + +_Ang._ Only conditional, that if he had the Land, he had my love too; this +Gentleman's the Heir, and he'll maintain it. Pray be not angry, Sir, at +what I say; or if you be, 'tis at your own adventure. You have the out- +side of a pretty Gentleman, but by my troth your inside is but barren; +'tis not a face I only am in love with, nor will I say your face is +excellent, a reasonable hunting face to court the wind with; nor they're +not words, unless they be well plac'd too, nor your sweet Dam-mes, nor +your hired Verses, nor telling me of Clothes, nor Coach and Horses, no nor +your visits each day in new Suits, nor your black Patches you wear +variously, some cut like Stars, some in Half-moons, some Lozenges, (all +which but shew you still a younger Brother.) + +_Mir._ Gramercy, Wench, thou hast a noble Soul too. + +_Ang._ Nor your long travels, nor your little knowledge, can make me doat +upon you. Faith go study, and glean some goodness, that you may shew +manly; your Brother at my suit I'm sure will teach you; or only study how +to get a Wife, Sir. Y'are cast far behind, 'tis good you should be +melancholy, it shews like a Gamester that had lost his mony; and 'tis the +fashion to wear your arm in a skarf, Sir, for [you] have had a shrewd cut +o'er the fingers. + +_Lew._ But are y'in earnest? + +_Ang._ Yes, believe me, Father, you shall ne'er choose for me; y'are old +and dim, Sir, and th' shadow of the earth Eclips'd your judgment. Y'have +had your time without control, dear Father, and you must give me leave to +take mine now, Sir. + +_Bri._ This is the last time of asking, will you set your hand to? + +_Cha._ This is the last time of answering, I will never. + +_Bri._ Out of my doors. + +_Char._ Most willingly. + +_Mir._ He shall, Jew, thou of the Tribe of _Man-y-asses_, Coxcomb, and +never trouble thee more till thy chops be cold, fool. + +_Ang._ Must I be gone too? + +_Lew._ I will never know thee. + +_Ang._ Then this man will; what Fortune he shall run, Father, be't good or +bad, I must partake it with him. + +_Enter_ Egremont. + +_Egre._ When shall the Masque begin? + +_Eust._ 'Tis done already; all, all is broken off, I am undone, Friend, my +Brother's wise again, and has spoil'd all, will not release the Land, has +won the Wench too. + +_Egre._ Could he not stay till the Masque was past? w'are ready. What a +scurvy trick's this? + +_Mir._ O you may vanish, perform it at some Hall, where the Citizens Wives +may see't for Six-pence a piece, and a cold Supper. Come, let's go, +_Charles_. And now, my noble Daughter, I'le sell the Tiles of my House, +e're thou shalt want, Wench. Rate up your Dinner, Sir, and sell it cheap: +some younger Brother will take't up in Commodities. Send you joy, Nephew +_Eustace_; if you study the Law, keep your great Pippin-pies, they'll go +far with ye. + +_Char._ I'd have your blessing. + +_Bri._ No, no, meet me no more. Farewel, thou wilt blast mine eyes else. + +_Char._ I will not. + +_Lew._ Nor send not you for Gowns. + +_Ang._ I'll wear course Flannel first. + +_Bri._ Come, let's go take some counsel. + +_Lew._ 'Tis too late. + +_Bri._ Then stay and dine; it may be we shall vex 'em. [_Exeunt._ + + + + +_ACTUS QUARTUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Brisac, Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Brisac._ Ne'er talk to me, you are no men but Masquers; shapes, shadows, +and the signs of men, Court bubbles, that every breath or breaks or blows +away. You have no souls, no metal in your bloods, no heat to stir ye when +ye have occasion: frozen dull things, that must be turn'd with Leavers. +Are you the Courtiers, and the travell'd Gallants? the spritely Fellows +that the people talk of? Ye have no more spirit than three sleepy sopes. + +_Eust._ What would ye have me do, Sir? + +_Bri._ Follow your Brother, and get ye out of doors, and seek your +Fortune. Stand still becalm'd, and let an aged Dotard, a hair-brain'd +Puppy, and a Bookish Boy, that never knew a Blade above a Pen-knife, and +how to cut his meat in Characters, cross my design, and take thine own +Wench from thee, in mine own house too? Thou despis'd poor fellow! + +_Eust._ The reverence that I ever bare to you, Sir, then to my Uncle, with +whom 't had been but sawciness t' have been so rough-- + +_Egre._ And we not seeing him strive in his own cause, that was principal, +and should have led us on, thought it ill manners to begin a quarrel here. + +_Bri._ You dare do nothing. Do you make your care the excuse of your +Cowardise? Three Boys on Hobby-horses, with three penny Halberds, would +beat you all. + +_Cow._ You must not say so. + +_Bri._ Yes, and sing it too. + +_Cow._ You are a man of peace, therefore we must give way. + +_Bri._ I'll make my way, and therefore quickly leave me, or I'll force +you; and having first torn off your flanting feathers, I'll trample on +'em; and if that cannot teach you to quit my house, I'll kick ye out of my +gates; you gawdy Glow-worms, carrying seeming fire, yet have no heat +within ye. + +_Cow._ O blest travel! how much we owe thee for our power to suffer! + +_Egre._ Some splenetive Youths now, that had never seen more than thy +Country smoak, will grow in choler; it would shew fine in us. + +_Eust._ Yes marry would it, that are prime Courtiers, and must know no +angers, but give thanks for our injuries, if we purpose to hold our +places. + +_Bri._ Will you find the door? and find it suddenly? you shall lead the +way, Sir, with your perfum'd retinue, and recover the now lost +_Angellina_, or build on it, I will adopt some beggar's doubtful issue, +before thou shalt inherit. + +_Eust._ We'll to counsel, and what may be done by man's wit or valour, +we'll put in Execution. + +_Bri._ Do, or never hope I shall know thee. [Exeunt. + +_Enter _Lewis. + +_Lew._ O Sir, have I found you? + +_Bri._ I never hid my self; whence flows this fury, with which, as it +appears, you come to fright me? + +_Lew._ I smell a plot, meer conspiracy amongst ye all to defeat me of my +Daughter; and if she be not suddenly deliver'd, untainted in her +reputation too, the best of _France_ shall know how I am jugled with. She +is my Heir, and if she may be ravish'd thus from my care, farewel +Nobility; Honour and Blood are meer neglected nothings. + +_Bri._ Nay then, my Lord, you go too far, and tax him, whose innocency +understands not what fear is. If your unconstant Daughter will not dwell +on certainties, must you thenceforth conclude that I am fickle? what have +I omitted, to make good my integrity and truth? nor can her lightness, nor +your supposition, cast an aspersion on me. + +_Lew._ I am wounded in fact, nor can words cure it: do not trifle, but +speedily, once more I do repeat it, restore my Daughter as I brought her +hither, or you shall hear from me in such a kind, as you will blush to +answer. + +_Bri._ All the world, I think, conspires to vex me, yet I will not torment +my self: some sprightful mirth must banish the rage and melancholy which +hath almost choak'd me; t' a knowing man 'tis Physick, and 'tis thought +on; one merry hour I'll have in spight of Fortune, to chear my heart, and +this is that appointed; this night I'll hug my _Lilly_ in mine arms, +provocatives are sent before to chear me, we old men need 'em, +and though we pay dear for our stoln pleasures, so it be done securely, +the charge much like a sharp sauce, gives 'em relish. Well, honest +_Andrew_, I gave you a Farm, and it shall have a Beacon, to give warning +to my other Tenants when the Foe approaches; and presently, you being +bestowed else-where, I'le graff it with dexterity on your forehead; indeed +I will, _Lilly_, I come, poor _Andrew_. [Exit. + + + + +ACTUS IV. SCENA II. + + +_Enter_ Miramont, Andrew. + +_Mir._ Do they [chafe] roundly? + +_And._ As they were rubb'd with Soap, Sir, and now they swear aloud, now +calm again; like a Ring of Bells, whose sound the wind still alters, and +then they sit in counsel what to do, and then they jar again what shall be +done; they talk of Warrants from the Parliament, Complaints to the King, +and Forces from the Province; they have a thousand heads in a thousand +minutes, yet ne'er a one head worth a head of Garlick. + +_Mir._ Long may they chafe, and long may we laugh at 'em; a couple of pure +Puppies yok'd together. But what sayes the young Courtier Master +_Eustace_, and his two warlike Friends? + +_And._ They say but little, how much they think I know not; they look +ruefully, as if they had newly come from a vaulting-house, and had been +quite shot through 'tween wind and water by a she _Dunkirk_, and had +sprung a Leak, Sir. Certain my Master was to blame. + +_Mir._ Why, _Andrew_? + +_And._ To take away the Wench o'th' sudden from him, and give him no +lawful warning; he is tender, and of a young Girls constitution, Sir, +ready to get the Green sickness with conceit. Had he but ta'ne his leave +in availing Language, or bought an Elegy of his condolement, that the +world might have ta'ne notice, he had been an Ass, 't had been some +favour. + +_Mir._ Thou say'st true, wise _Andrew_; but these Scholars are such +things, when they can prattle. + +_And._ And very parlous things, Sir. + +_Mir._ And when [they] gain the liberty to distinguish the difference +'twixt a Father and a Fool, to look below, and spie a younger Brother +pruning up, and dressing up his expectations in a rare glass of beauty, +too good for him; those dreaming Scholars then turn Tyrants, _Andrew_, and +shew no mercy. + +_Mir._ The more's the pity, Sir. + +_Mir._ Thou told'st me of a trick to catch my Brother, and anger him a +little farther, _Andrew_. It shall be only anger, I assure thee, and +little shame. + +_And_. And I can fit you, Sir. Hark in your ear. + +_Mir_. Thy Wife? + +_And_. So I assure ye; this night at twelve a clock. + +_Mir_. 'Tis neat and handsome; there are twenty Crowns due to thy project, +_Andrew_; I've time to visit _Charles_, and see what Lecture he reads to +his Mistris. That done, I'le not fail to be with you. + +_And_. Nor I to watch my master-- [_Exeunt_. + + + + +ACTUS IV. SCENA III. + + +_Enter_ Angelli[n]a, Sylvia, _with a Taper_. + +_Ang_. I'm worse than e'er I was; for now I fear, that that I love, that +that I only dote on; he follows me through every room I pass, and with a +strong set eye he gazes on me, as if his spark of innocence were blown +into a flame of lust. Virtue defend me. His Uncle too is absent, and 'tis +night; and what these opportunities may teach him--What fear and endless +care 'tis to be honest! to be a Maid what misery, what mischief! Would I +were rid of it, so it were fairly. + +_Syl_. You need not fear that, will you be a child still? He follows you, +but still to look upon you; or if he did desire to lie with ye, 'tis but +your own desire, you love for that end; I'le lay my life, if he were now a +bed w'ye, he is so modest, he would fall asleep straight. + +_Ang_. Dare you venture that? + +_Syl_. Let him consent, and have at ye; I fear him not, he knows not what +a woman is, nor how to find the mystery men aim at. Are you afraid of your +own shadow, Madam? + +_Ang_. He follows still, yet with a sober face; would I might know the +worst, and then I were satisfied. + +_Syl_. Ye may both, and let him but go with ye. + +_Char_. Why do you flie me? what have I so ill about me, or within me, to +deserve it? + +_Ang_. I am going to bed, Sir. + +_Char_. And I am come to light ye; I am a Maid, and 'tis a Maidens office. + +_Ang_. You may have me to bed, Sir, without a scruple, and yet I am chary +too who comes about me. Two Innocents should not fear one another. + +_Syl_. The Gentleman says true. Pluck up your heart, Madam. + +_Char_. The glorious Sun both rising and declining we boldly look upon; +even then, sweet Lady, when, like a modest Bride, he draws nights +curtains, even then he blushes, that men should behold him. + +_Ang_. I fear he will perswade me to mistake him. + +_Syl_. 'Tis easily done, if you will give your mind to't. + +_Ang_. Pray ye to your bed. + +_Char_. Why not to yours, dear Mistris? one heart and one bed. + +_Ang_. True, Sir, when 'tis lawful: but yet you know-- + +_Char_. I would not know, forget it; those are but sickly loves that hang +on Ceremonies, nurs'd up with doubts and fears; ours high and healthful, +full of belief, and fit to teach the Priest: Love shall seal first, then +hands confirm the bargain. + +_Ang_. I shall be a Heretick if this continue. What would you do a bed? +you make me blush, Sir. + +_Char_. I'd see you sleep, for sure your sleeps are excellent, you that +are waking such a noted wonder, must in your slumber prove an admiration. +I would behold your dreams too, if't were possible; those were rich +showes. + +_Ang_. I am becoming Traitor. + +_Char_. Then like blew _Neptune_ courting of an Island, where all the +perfumes and the precious things that wait upon great Nature are laid up, +I'd clip it in my arms, and chastly kiss it, dwell in your bosome like +your dearest thoughts, and sigh and weep. + +_Ang_. I've too much woman in me. + +_Char_. And those true tears falling on your pure Crystals, should turn to +armelets for great Queens t'adore. + +_Ang_. I must be gone. + +_Char_. Do not, I will not hurt ye; this is to let you know, my worthiest +Lady, y'have clear'd my mind, and I can speak of love too: Fear not my +manners, though I never knew, before these few hours, what a Beauty was, +and such a one that fires all hearts that feel it; yet I have read of +virtuous Temperance, and study'd it among my other Secrets; and sooner +would I force a separation betwixt this spirit and the case of flesh, than +but conceive one rudeness against Chastity. + +_Ang_. Then we may walk. + +_Char_. And talk of any thing, any fit for your ears, and my language; +though I was bred up dull, I was ever civil; 'tis true, I have found it +hard to look on you, and not desire, 'twill prove a wise mans task; yet +those desires I have so mingled still, and tempered with the quality of +honour, that if you should yield, I should hate you for't. I am no +Courtier of a light condition, apt to take fire at every beauteous face; +that only serves his will and wantonness, and lets the serious part run by +as thin neglected sand. Whiteness of name, you must be mine; why should I +rob my self of that that lawfully must make me happy? why should I seek to +cuckold my delights, and widow all those sweets I aim at in you? We'll +lose our selves in _Venus_ Groves of Myrtle, where every little Bird shall +be a _Cupid_, and sing of love and youth, each wind that blows, and curls +the velvet-leaves, shall breed delights, the wanton Springs shall call us +to their banks, and on the perfum'd flowers we'll feast our senses; yet +we'll walk by untainted of their pleasures, and as they were pure Temples +we'll talk in them. + +_Ang_. To bed, and pray then, we may have a fair end of our fair loves; +would I were worthy of you, or of such parents that might give you thanks: +But I am poor in all but in your love. Once more, good night. + +_Char_. A good night t'ye, and may the dew of sleep fall gently on you, +sweet one, and lock up those fair lights in pleasing slumbers; no dreams +but chaste and clear attempt your fancy, and break betimes sweet morn, +I've lost my light else. + +_Ang_. Let it be ever night when I lose you. + +_Syl_. This Scholar never went to a Free-School, he's so simple. + +_Enter a_ Servant. + +_Serv_. Your Brother, with two Gallants, is at door, Sir, and they're so +violent, they'll take no denial. + +_Ang_. This is no fit time of night. + +_Char_. Let 'em in, Mistris. + +_Serv_. They stay no leave; shall I raise the house on 'em? + +_Char_. Not a man, nor make no murmur oft I charge ye. + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Eust_. They're here, my Uncle absent, stand close to me. How do you, +Brother, with your curious story? have you not read her yet sufficiently? + +_Char_. No, Brother, no; I stay yet in the Preface: the style's too hard +for you. + +_Eust_. I must entreat her; she's parcel of my goods. + +_Char_. She's all when you have her. + +_Ang_. Hold off your hands, unmannerly, rude Sir; nor I, nor what I have +depend on you. + +_Char_. Do, let her alone, she gives good counsel; do not trouble your +self with Ladies, they are too light: Let out your Land, and get a +provident Steward. + +_Ang_. I cannot love ye, let that satisfie you; such vanities as you, are +to be laugh'd at. + +_Eust_. Nay, then you must go; I must claim mine own. + +_Both_. Away, away with her. + +_Char. Let her alone, pray let her alone, [_She strikes off_ +and take your Coxcomb up: Let me talk [Eustace's _hat_. +civilly a while with you, Brother. It may be on some terms I may part with +her. + +_Eust_. O, is your heart come down? what are your terms, Sir? Put up, put +up. + +_Char_. This is the first and chiefest; [_Snatches away his sword_] +let's walk a turn. Now stand off, fools, I advise ye, stand as far off as +you would hope for mercy: this is the first sword yet I ever handled, and +a sword's a beauteous thing to look upon; and if it hold, I shall so hunt +your insolence: 'tis sharp, I'm sure, and if I put it home, 'tis ten to +one I shall new pink your Sattins; I find I have spirit enough to dispose +of it, and will enough to make ye all examples; let me toss it round, I +have the full command on't. Fetch me a native Fencer, I defie him; I feel +the fire of ten strong spirits in me. Do you watch me when my Uncle is +absent? this is my grief, I shall be flesh'd on Cowards; teach me to +fight, I willing am to learn. Are ye all gilded flies, nothing but shew in +ye? why stand ye gaping? who now touches her? who calls her his, or who +dares name her to me? but name her as his own; who dares look on her? that +shall be mortal too; but think, 'tis dangerous. Art thou a fit man to +inherit Land, and hast no wit nor spirit to maintain it? Stand still, thou +sign of a man, and pray for thy friends, pray heartily, good prayers may +restore ye. + +_Ang_. But do not kill 'em, Sir. + +_Char_. You speak too late, Dear; it is my first fight, and I must do +bravely, I must not look with partial eyes on any; I cannot spare a button +of these Gentlemen; did life lie in their heel, Achilles like, I'd shoot +my anger at those parts, and kill 'em. Who waits within? + +_Ser_. Sir. + +_Char_. View all these, view 'em well, go round about 'em, and still view +their faces; round about yet, see how death waits upon 'em, for thou shalt +never view 'em more. + +_Eust_. Pray hold, Sir. + +_Char_. I cannot hold, you stand so fair before me; I must not hold; +'twill darken all my glories. Go to my Uncle, bid him post to the King, +and get my pardon instantly, I have need on't. + +_Eust_. Are you so unnatural? + +_Char_. You shall die last, Sir, I'll take thee dead, thou art no man to +fight with. Come, will ye come? Me-thinks I've fought whole Battels. + +_Cow_. We have no quarrel to you that we know on, Sir. + +_Egre_. We'll quit the house, and ask ye mercy too. Good Lady, let no +murther be done here; we came but to parly. + +_Char_. How my sword thirsts after them! Stand away, Sweet. + +_Eust_. Pray, Sir, take my submission, and I disclaim for ever. + +_Char_. Away, ye poor things, ye despicable creatures! do you come poste +to fetch a Lady from me? from a poor School-boy that ye scorn'd of late, +and grow lame in your hearts when you should execute? Pray take her, take +her, I am weary of her: What did you bring to carry her? + +_Egre_. A Coach and four Horses. + +_Char_. But are they good? + +_Egre_. As good as France can shew Sir. + +_Char_. Are you willing to leave those, and take your safeties? Speak +quickly. + +_Eust_. Yes with all our hearts. + +_Char_. 'Tis done then. Many have got one Horse, I've got four by th' +bargain. + +_Enter_ Miramont. + +_Mir_. How now, who's here? + +_Ser_. Nay, now y'are gone without bail. + +_Mir_. What, drawn, my Friends? Fetch me my two-hand Sword; I will not +leave a head on your shoulders, Wretches. + +_Eust_. In troth, Sir, I came but to do my duty. + +_Both_. And we to renew our loves. + +_Mir_. Bring me a Blanket. What came they for? + +_Ang_. To borrow me a while, Sir; but one that never fought yet, has so +curri'd, so bastinado'd them with manly carriage, they stand like things +_Gorgon_ had turn'd to stone: they watch'd your being absent, and then +thought they might do wonders here, and they have done so; for by my troth +I wonder at their coldness, the nipping North or Frost never came near +them; St _George_ upon a sign would grow more sensible. If the name of +Honour were for ever to be lost, these were the most sufficient men to do +it in all the world; and yet they are but young, what will they rise to? +They're as full of fire as' a frozen Glow-worms rattle, and shine as +goodly: Nobility and patience are match'd rarely in these three Gentlemen, +they have right use on't; they'll stand still for an hour and be beaten. +These are the Anagrams of three great Worthies. + +_Mir_. They will infect my house with cowardize, if they breath longer in +it; my roof covers no baffl'd Monsieurs, walk and air your selves; as I +live they stay not here. White-liver'd wretches, without one word to ask a +reason why. Vanish, 'tis the last warning, and with speed; for if I take +ye in hand, I shall dissect you, and read upon your flegmatick dull +Carcases. My Horse again there: I have other business, which you shall +hear hereafter, and laugh at it. Good-night _Charles_, fair goodness to +your dear Lady; 'tis late, 'tis late. + +_Ang_. Pray, Sir, be careful of us. + +_Mir_. It is enough, my best care shall attend ye. [_Exeunt_. + + + + +ACTUS IV. SCENA IV. + + +_Enter_ Andrew. + +_And_. Are you come, old Master? Very good, your Horse is well set up; but +ere you part, I'll ride you, and spur your Reverend Justiceship such a +question, as I shall make the sides of your Reputation bleed, truly I +will. Now must I play at Bo-peep--A Banquet--well, Potatoes and Eringoes, +and, as I take it, Cantharides--Excellent, a Priapism follows, and as I'll +handle it, it shall, old Lecherous Goat in Authority. Now they begin to +Bill; how he slavers her! Gramercy _Lilly_, she spits his kisses out, and +now he offers to fumble, she falls off, (that's a good Wench) and cries +fair play above board. Who are they in the corner? As I live, a covy of +Fidlers; I shall have some Musick yet at my making free o'th' Company of +_Horners_; there's the comfort, and a Song too! He beckons for one--Sure +'tis no Anthem, nor no borrow'd Rhymes out of the School of Vertue; I will +listen-- [_A Song_. +This was never penn'd at _Geneva_, the Note's too sprightly. So, so, the +Musick's paid for, and now what follows? O that Monsieur _Miramont_ would +but keep his word; here were a Feast to make him fat with laughter; at the +most 'tis not six minutes riding from his house, nor will he break, I +hope--O are you come, Sir? the prey is in the Net, and will break in upon +occasion. + +_Mir_. Thou shalt rule me, Andrew. O th'infinite fright that will assail +this Gentleman! the Quartans, Tertians, and Quotidians that will hang like +Serjeants on his Worships shoulders? the humiliation of the flesh of this +man, this grave, austere man will be wondred at. How will those solemn +looks appear to me; and that severe face, that speaks chains and shackles? +Now I take him in the nick, e're I have done with him, he had better have +stood between two panes of Wainscot, and made his recantation in the +Market, than hear me conjure him. + +_And_. He must pass this way to th' only Bed I have; he comes, stand +close. + +_Bri_. Well done, well done, give me my night-cap. So. Quick, quick, +untruss me; I will truss and trounce thee. Come, Wench, a kiss between +each point; kiss close, it is a sweet Parenthesis. + +_Lil._ Y'are merry, Sir. + +_Bri._ Merry I will be anon, and thou shalt feel it, thou shalt, my +_Lilly_. + +_Lil._ Shall I air your Bed, Sir? + +_Bri._ No, no; I'll use no Warming-pan but thine, Girl, that's all. Come +kiss me again. + +_Lil._ Ha'ye done yet? + +_Bri._ No; but I will do, and do wonders, _Lilly_. Shew me the way. + +_Lil._ You cannot miss it, Sir; you shall have a Cawdle in the morning for +your Worship's breakfast. + +_Bri._ How, i'th' morning, _Lilly_? th'art such a witty thing to draw me +on. Leave fooling, _Lilly_, I am hungry now, and th'hast another Kickshaw, +I must taste it. + +_Lil._ 'Twill make you surfeit, I am tender of you: y'have all y'are like +to have. + +_And._ And can this be earnest? + +_Mir._ It seems so, and she honest. + +_Bri._ Have I not thy promise, _Lilly_? + +_Lil._ Yes, and I have performed enough to a man of your years, this is +truth; and you shall find, Sir, you have kiss'd and tous'd me, handl'd my +leg and foot; what would you more, Sir? As for the rest, it requires youth +and strength, and the labour in an old man would breed Agues, Sciatica's, +and Cramps: You shall not curse me for taking from you what you cannot +spare, Sir. Be good unto your self, y'have ta'ne already all you can take +with ease; you are past threshing, it is a work too boisterous for you, +leave such drudgery to _Andrew_. + +_Mir._ How she jeers him! + +_Lil._ Let _Andrew_ alone with his own tillage, he's tough, and can manure +it. + +_Bri._ Y'are a quean, a scoffing, jeering quean. + +_Lil._ It may be so, but I'm sure I'll ne'r be yours. + +_Bri._ Do not provoke me, if thou do'st I'll have my Farm again, and turn +thee out a begging. + +_Lil._ Though you have the will, and want of honesty to deny your deed, +Sir; yet I hope _Andrew_ has got so much learning from my young Master, as +to keep his own; at the worst I'll tell a short tale to the Judges, for +what grave ends you sign'd your Lease, and on what terms you would revoke +it. + +_Bri_. Whore, thou dar'st not. Yield, or I'll have thee whipt: how my +Bloud boils, as if't were o're a Furnace! + +_Mir_. I shall cool it. + +_Bri_. Yet, gentle _Lilly_, pity and forgive me, I'll be a friend t'ye, +such a loving bountiful friend-- + +_Lil_. To avoid Suits in Law, I would grant a little; but should fierce +_Andrew_ know it, what would become of me? + +_And_. A Whore, a Whore! + +_Bri_. Nothing but well Wench, I shall put such a strong Bit in his mouth, +as thou shall ride him how thou wilt, my _Lilly_; nay, he shall hold the +door, as I will work him, and thank thee for the Office. + +_Mir_. Take heed, _Andrew_, these are shrewd temptations. + +_And_. Pray you know your Cue, and second me, Sir. By your Worship's +favour. + +_Bri_. _Andrew_! + +_And_. I come in time to take possession of th'Office you assign me; hold +the door! alas, 'tis nothing for a simple man to stay without, when a deep +understanding holds conference within, say with his Wife: a trifle, Sir. I +know I hold my Farm by Cuckolds Tenure; you are Lord o'th' Soil, Sir. +_Lilly_ is a Weft, a stray, she's yours to use, Sir, I claim no interest +in her. + +_Bri_. Art thou serious? speak, honest _Andrew_, since thou hast o'erheard +us, and wink at small faults, man; I'm but a pidlar, a little will serve +my turn; thou'lt find enough when I've my belly full: Wilt thou be private +and silent? + +_And_. By all means, I'll only have a Ballad made of't, sung to some lewd +Tune, and the name of it shall be _Justice Trap_; it will sell rarely with +your Worships name, and _Lilly_'s on the top. + +_Bri_. Seek not the ruine o' my reputation, _Andrew_. + +_And_. 'Tis for your credit, Monsieur _Brisac_, printed in Capital +Letters, then pasted upon all the posts in _Paris_. + +_Bri_. No mercy, _Andrew_? + +_And_. O, it will proclaim you from the City to the Court, and prove Sport +Royal. + +_Bri_. Thou shalt keep thy Farm. + +_Mir_. He does afflict him rarely. + +_And_. You trouble me. Then his intent arriving, the vizard of his +hypocrisie pull'd of[f] to the Judge criminal. + +_Bri_. O I am undone. + +_And_. He's put out of Commission with disgrace, and held uncapable of +bearing Office ever hereafter. This is my revenge, and this I'll put in +practice. + +_Bri_. Do but hear me. + +_And_. To bring me back from my Grammar to my Hornbook, it is +unpardonable. + +_Bri_. Do not play the Tyrant; accept of composition. + +_Lil_. Hear him, _Andrew_. + +_And_. What composition? + +_Bri_. I'll confirm thy Farm, and add unto it a hundred Acres more, +adjoyning to it. + +_And_. Umb, this mollifies; but y'are so fickle, and will again deny this, +there being no witness by. + +_Bri_. Call any witness, I'll presently assure it. + +_And_. Say you so? troth there's a friend of mine, Sir, within hearing, +that's familiar with all that's past, his testimony will be authentical. + +_Bri_. Will he be secret? + +_And_. You may tie his tongue up, as you would do your purse-strings. + +_Bri_. _Miramont_! + +_Mir_. Ha-ha-ha! + +_And_. This is my witness. Lord how you are troubled! sure you have an +Ag[u]e, you shake so with choler: Here's your loving Brother, Sir, and +will tell no body but all he meets, that you have eat a Snake, and are +grown young, gamesome, and rampant. + +_Bri_. Caught thus? + +_And_. If he were one that would make jests of you, or plague ye, with +making your Religious gravity ridiculous to your Neighbours, then you had +some cause to be perplex'd. + +_Bri_. I shall become discourse for Clowns and Tapsters. + +_And_. Quick, _Lilly_, quick, he's now past kissing, between point and +point. He swounds, fetch him some Cordial--Now put in, Sir. + +_Mir_. Who may this be? sure this is some mistake: let me see his face, +wears he not a false beard? it cannot be _Brisac_ that worthy Gentleman, +the Pillar and the Patron of his Country; he is too prudent, and too +cautelous, experience hath taught him t'avoid these fooleries, he is the +punisher, and not the doer; besides he's old and cold, unfit for Woman: +This is some counterfeit, he shall be whipt for't, some base abuser of my +worthy Brother. + +_Bri_. Open the doors; will ye imprison me? are ye my Judges? + +_Mir_. The man raves! this is not judicious _Brisac_: yet now I think +on't, h'has a kind of Dog look like my Brother, a guilty hanging face. + +_Bri_. I'll suffer bravely, do your worst, do, do. + +_Mir_. Why, it's manly in you. + +_Bri_. Nor will I rail nor curse, you slave, you whore, I will not meddle +with you; but all the torments that e're fell on men, that fed on +mischief, fall heavily on you all. [_Exit_. + +_Lil_. You have given him a heat, Sir. + +_Mir_. He will ride you the better, _Lilly_. + +_And_. We'll teach him to meddle with Scholars. + +_Mir_. He shall make good his promise t'increase thy Farm, _Andrew_, or +I'll jeer him to death. Fear nothing, _Lilly_, I am thy Champion. This +jeast goes to _Charles_, and then I'll hunt him out, and Monsieur +_Eustace_ the gallant Courtier, and laugh heartily to see 'em mourn +together. + +_And_. 'Twill be rare, Sir. [_Exeunt_. + + + + +_ACTUS QUINTUS. SCENA PRIMA._ + + +_Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +_Eust_. Turn'd out of doors and baffled! + +_Egre_. We share with you in the affront. + +_Cow_. Yet bear it not like you with such dejection. + +_Eust_. My Coach and Horses made the ransom of our Cowardize! + +_Cow_. Pish, that's nothing, 'tis _damnum reparabile_, and soon recover'd. + +_Egre_. It is but feeding a Suitor with false hopes, and after squeeze him +with a dozen of Oaths, You are new rigg'd, and this no more remembred. + +_Eust_. And does the Court, that should be the Example and Oracle of the +Kingdom, read to us no other Doctrine? + +_Egre_. None that thrives so well as that, within my knowledge. + +_Cow_. Flattery rubs out; but since great men learn to admire themselves, +'tis something crest-faln. + +_Egre_. To be of no Religion, argues a subtle, moral understanding, and it +is often cherish'd. + +_Eust_. Piety then, and valour, nor to do and suffer wrong, are they no +virtues? + +_Egre_. Rather vices, _Eustace_; Fighting! what's fighting? it may be in +fashion among provant swords, and Buff-jerkin men: But w'us that swim in +choice of Silks and Tissues; though in defence of that word Reputation, +which is indeed a kind of glorious nothing, to lose a dram of blood must +needs appear as coarse as to be honest. + +_Eust_. And all this you seriously believe? + +_Cow_. It is a faith that we will die in, since from the black Guard to +the grim Sir in Office, there are few hold other Tenets. + +_Eust_. Now my eyes are open, and I behold a strong necessity that keeps +me knave and coward. + +_Cow_. Y'are the wiser. + +_Eust_. Nor can I change my copy, if I purpose to be of your society. + +_Egre_. By no means. + +_Eust_. Honour is nothing with you? + +_Cow_. A meer bubble; for what's grown common, is no more regarded. + +_Eust_. My sword forc'd from me too, and still detain'd, you think 'tis no +blemish. + +_Egre_. Get me a Batton, 'tis twenty times more Court-like, and less +trouble. + +_Eust_. And yet you wear a sword. + +_Cow. Yes, and a good one, a _Milan_ hilt, and a _Damasco_ blade for +ornament, not use, the Court allows it. + +_Eust_. Will't not fight of it self? + +_Cow_. I ne'er tri'd this, yet I have worn as fair as any man; I'm sure +I've made my Cutler rich, and paid for several weapons, _Turkish_ and +_Toledo's_, two thousand Crowns, and yet could never light upon a fighting +one. + +_Eust_. I'le borrow this, I like it well. + +_Cow_. 'Tis at your service, Sir, a Lath in a Velvet Scabbard will serve +my turn. + +_Eust_. And now I have it, leave me; y'are infectious, the plague and +leprosie of your baseness spreading on all that do come near you; such as +you render the Throne of Majesty, the Court, suspected and contemptible; +you are Scarabee's that batten in her dung, and have no palats to taste +her curious Viands; and like Owles, can only see her night deformities, +but with the glorious splendor of her beauties, you are struck blind as +Moles, that undermine the sumptuous Building that allow'd you shelter: you +stick like running ulcers on her face, and taint the pureness of her +native candor, and being bad Servants, cause your Masters goodness to be +disputed of; you make the Court, that is the abstract of all Academies, to +teach and practise noble undertakings, (where courage sits triumphant +crown'd with Lawrel, and wisdom loaded with the weight of honour) a School +of Vices. + +_Egre_. What sudden rapture's this? + +_Eust_. A heavenly one, that raising me from sloth and ignorance, (in +which your conversation long hath charm'd me) carries me up into the air +of action, and knowledge of my self; even now I feel, but pleading only in +the Court's defence (though far short of her merits and bright lustre) a +happy alteration, and full strength to stand her Champion against all the +world, that throw aspersions on her. + +_Cow_. Sure he'll beat us, I see it in his eyes. + +_Egre_. A second _Charles_; pray look not, Sir, so furiously. + +_Eust_. Recant what you have said, ye Mungrils, and lick up the vomit ye +have cast upon the Court, where you unworthily have had warmth and +breeding, and swear that you, like Spiders, have made poison of that which +was a saving Antidote. + +_Egre_. We will swear any thing. + +_Cow_. We honour the Court as a most sacred place. + +_Egre_. And will make oath, if you enjoyn us to't, nor knave, nor fool, +nor coward living in it. + +_Eust_. Except you two, you Rascals. + +_Cow_. Yes, we are all these, and more, if you will have it so. + +_Eust_. And that until you are again reform'd and grown new men, you +ne'ere presume to name the Court, or press into the Porter's Lodge but for +a penance, to be disciplin'd for your roguery, and this done with true +contrition. + +_Both_. Yes, Sir. + +_Eust_. You again may eat scraps, and be thankful. + +_Cow_. Here's a cold breakfast after a sharp nights walking. + +_Eust_. Keep your oaths, and without grumbling vanish. + +_Both_. We are gone, Sir. [_Exeunt_. + +_Eust_. May all the poorness of my spirit go with you: the fetters of my +thraldom are fil'd off, and I at liberty to right my self; and though my +hope in _Angellina's_ little, my honour (unto which compar'd she's +nothing) shall, like the Sun, disperse those lowring Clouds that yet +obscure and dim it; not the name of Brother shall divert me, but from him, +that in the world's opinion ruin'd me, I will seek reparation, and call +him unto a strict accompt. Ha! 'tis near day, and if the Muses friend, +Rose-cheek'd _Aurora_, invite him to this solitary Grove, as I much hope +she will, he seldome missing to pay his vows here to her, I shall hazard +to hinder his devotions--The door opens, 'tis he most certain, and by's +side my Sword. Blest Opportunity. + +_Enter_ Charles. + +_Char_. I have o'er-slept my self, and lost part of the morn, but I'le +recover it: Before I went to bed, I wrote some Notes within my Table-book, +which I will now consider. Ha! what means this? What do I with a Sword? +Learn'd _Mercury_ needs not th' aid of _Mars_, and innocence is to it self +a guard; yet since Arms ever protect Arts, I may justly wear and use it; +for since 'twas made my prize, I know not how I'm grown in love with't, +and cannot eat nor study, and much less walk without it. But I trifle, +matters of more weight ask my judgment. + +_Eust_. Now, Sir, treat of no other Theme, I'le keep you to it, and see +y'expound it well. + +_Char_. _Eustace_! + +_Eust_. The same, Sir, your younger Brother, who, as duty binds him, hath +all this night (turn'd out of door) attended, to bid Good-morrow t'ye. + +_Char_. This not in scorn, commands me to return it. Would you ought else? + +_Eust_. O much, Sir, here I end not, but begin; I must speak to you in +another strain than yet I ever us'd; and if the language appear in the +delivery rough and harsh, you (being my Tutor) must condemn your self, +from whom I learn'd it. + +_Char_. When I understand (be't in what style you please) what's your +demand, I shall endeavour, in the self-same phrase, to make an answer to +the point. + +_Eust_. I come not to lay claim to your birth-right, 'tis your own, and +'tis fit you enjoy it; nor ask I from you your learning and deep +knowledge; (though I am not a Scholar as you are) I know them Diamonds by +your sole industry, patience and labour, forc'd from steep Rocks, and with +much toil attended, and but to few that prize their value granted, and +therefore without Rival freely wear them. + +_Char_. These not repin'd at (as you seem t'inform me) the motion must be +of a strange condition, if I refuse to yield to't; therefore, _Eustace_, +without this tempest in your looks, propound it, and fear not a denial. + +_Eust_. I require then (as from an Enemy, and not a Brother) the +reputation of a man, the honour, not by a fair War won when I was waking, +but in my sleep of folly ravish'd from me; with these, the restitution of +my Sword, with large acknowledgment of satisfaction, my Coach, my Horses; +I will part with life, ere lose one hair of them; and, what concludes all, +my Mistris _Angellina_, as she was before the musical Magick of thy tongue +inchanted and seduc'd her. These perform'd, and with submission, and done +publickly, at my Father's and my Uncle's intercession, (that I put in too) +I perhaps may listen to terms of reconcilement; but if these, in every +circumstance, are not subscrib'd to, to the last gasp I defie thee. + +_Char_. These are strict conditions to a Brother. + +_Eust_. My rest is up, nor will I give less. + +_Char_. I'm no Gamester, _Eustace_, yet I can ghess your resolution stands +to win or lose all; I rejoyce to find ye thus tender of your honour, and +that at length you understand what a wretched thing you were, how deeply +wounded by your self, and made almost incurable in your own hopes, the +dead flesh of pale cowardise growing over your festred reputation, which +no Balm or gentle Unguent could ever make way to; and I am happy that I +was the Surgeon that did apply those burning corrosives, that render you +already sensible o'th' danger you were plung'd in, in teaching you, and by +a fair gradation, how far, and with what curious respect and care the +peace and credit of a man within, (which you ne'er thought till now) +should be preferr'd before a gawdy outside; pray you fix here, for so far +I go with you. + +_Eust_. This discourse is from the subject. + +_Char_. I'le come to it, Brother; but if you think to build upon my +ruines, you'll find a false foundation: your high offers, taught by the +Masters of dependencies, that by compounding differences 'tween others, +supply their own necessities, with me will never carry't: as you are my +Brother, I will dispense a little, but no more than honour can give way +to; nor must I destroy that in my self I love in you; and therefore let +not hopes or threats persuade you I will descend to any composition for +which I may be censur'd. + +_Eust_. You shall fight then. + +_Char_. With much unwillingness with you; but if there's no evasion-- + +_Eust_. None. + +_Char_. Hear yet a word; as for the Sword and other fripperies, in a fair +way send for them, you shall have 'em. But rather than surrender +_Angellina_, or hear it again mention'd, I oppose my breast unto loud +thunder, cast behind me all tyes of Nature. + +_Eust_. She detain'd, I'm deaf to all persuasion. + +_Char_. Guard thy self then. _Eustace_; I use no other Rhetorick. + +_Enter_ Miram. + +_Mir_. Clashing of swords so near my house! Brother oppos'd to Brother! +here's no fencing at half sword; hold, hold, _Charles, Eustace_. + +_Eust_. Second him, or call in more help. Come not between us, I'le not +know nor spare you; D'ye fight by th' book? + +_Char_. 'Tis you that wrong me, off Sir, and suddenly, I'le conjure down +the Spirit that I have rais'd in him. + +_Eust_. Never, _Charles_, 'tis thine, and in thy death, be doubled in me. + +_Mir_. I'm out of breath, yet trust not too much to't, Boys; for if you +pause not suddenly, and hear reason, do, kill your Uncle, do; but that I'm +patient, and not a cholerick old teasty fool, like your Father, I'd dance +a matachin with you, should make you sweat your best bloud for't; I would, +and it may be I will. _Charles_, I command thee, and _Eustace_, I entreat +thee, th'art a brave Spark, a true tough-metall'd blade, and I begin to +love thee heartily; give me a fighting Courtier, I'le cherish him for +example; in our Age they're not born every day. + +_Char_. You of late, Sir, in me lov'd learning. + +_Mir_. True, but take me w'ye, _Charles_; 'twas when young _Eustace_ wore +his heart in's breeches, and fought his Battels in Complements and +Cringes, when's understanding wav'd in a flanting Feather, and his best +contemplation look'd no further than a new fashion'd doublet; I confess +then, the lofty noise your Greek made, only pleas'd me; but now he's +turn'd an _Oliver_ and a _Rowland_, nay, the whole dozen of Peers are +bound up in him: Let me remember, when I was of his years, I did look very +like him; and did you see my Picture as I was then, you would swear that +gallant _Eustace_ (I mean, now he dares fight) was the true substance, and +the perfect figure. Nay, nay, no anger, you shall have enough, _Charles_. + +_Char_. Sure, Sir, I shall not need addition from him. + +_Eust_. Nor I from any, this shall decide my interest; though I am lost to +all deserving men, to all that men call good, for suffering tamely +insufferable wrongs, and justly slighted by yielding to a minute of delay +in my revenge, and from that made a stranger unto my Father's house and +favour, o'erwhelm'd with all disgraces; yet I will mount upward, and force +my self a fortune, though my birth and breeding do deny it. + +_Char_. Seek not, _Eustace_, by violence, what will be offer'd to you on +easier composition; though I was not alli'd unto your weakness, you shall +find me a Brother to your bravery of spirit, and one that, not compell'd +to't by your sword, (which I must never fear) will share with you in all +but _Angellina_. + +_Mir_. Nobly said, _Charles_, and learn from my experience, you may hear +reason, and never maim your fighting; for your credit, which you think you +have lost, spare _Charles_, and swinge me, and soundly; three or four +walking velvet Cloaks, that wear no swords to guard 'em, yet deserve it, +thou art made up again. + +_Eust_. All this is Lip-salve. + +_Mir_. It shall be Hearts-ease, _Eustace_, ere I have done; as for thy +Father's anger, now thou dar'st fight, ne'er fear it, for I've the dowcets +of his gravity fast in a string, I will so pinch and wring him, that, +spight of his authority, thou shalt make thine own conditions with him. + +_Eust_. I'le take leave a little to consider. + +_Char_. Here comes _Andrew_. + +_Mir_. But without his comical and learned face; what sad disaster, +_Andrew_? + +_And_. You m[a]y read, Sir, a Tragedy in my face. + +_Mir_. Art thou in earnest? + +_And_. Yes, by my life, Sir; and if now you help not, and speedily, by +force, or by persuasion, my good old Master (for now I pity him) is ruin'd +for ever. + +_Char_. Ha, my Father! + +_And_. He, Sir. + +_Mir_. By what means? speak. + +_And_. At the suit of Monsieur _Lewis_; his house is seiz'd upon, and he +in person is under guard, (I saw it with these eyes, Sir) to be convey'd +to _Paris_, and there Sentenc'd. + +_Mir_. Nay, then there is no jesting. + +_Char_. Do I live, and know my Father injur'd? + +_And_. And what's worse, Sir, my Ladie _Angellina_-- + +_Eust_. What of her? + +_And_. She's carri'd away too. + +_Mir_. How? + +_And_. While you were absent, a crew of Monsieur _Lewis_ friends and +kinsmen, by force, brake in at th' back part of the house, and took her +away by violence; faithful _Andrew_ (as this can witness for him) did his +best in her defence, but 'twould not do. + +_Mir_. Away, and see our Horses sadled, 'tis no time to talk, but do. +_Eustace_, you now are offer'd a spatious field, and in a pious War to +exercise your valour; here's a cause, and such a one, in which to fall is +honourable, your dutie and reverence due to a fathers name commanding it; +but these unnatural jars arising between Brothers (should you prosper) +would shame your victory. + +_Eust_. I would do much, Sir, but still my rep[u]tation! + +_Mir. Charles_ shall give you all decent satisfaction; nay, joyn hands, +and heartily, why, this is done like Brothers; and as old as I am, in this +cause that concerns the honour of our Family, Monsieur _Lewis_ (if reason +cannot work) shall find and feel there's hot blood in this arm, I'le lead +you bravely. + +_Eust_. And if I follow not, a cowards name be branded on my forehead. + +_Char_. This spirit makes you a sharer in my fortunes. + +_Mir_. And in mine, of which (_Brisac_ once freed, and _Angellina_ again +in our possession) you shall know, my heart speaks in my tongue. + +_Eust_. I dare not doubt it, Sir. [_Exeunt_. + + + + +ACTUS V. SCENA II. + + +_Enter_ Lewis, Brisac, Angelli[n]a, Sylvia, _Officers_. + +_Lew_. I'm deaf to all perswasions. + +_Bri_. I use none, nor doubt I, though a while my innocence suffers, but +when the King shall understand how false your malice hath inform'd him, he +in justice must set me right again. + +_Ang_. Sir, let not passion so far transport you, as to think in reason, +this violent course repairs, but ruins it; that honour you would build up, +you destroy; what you would seem to nourish, if respect of my preferment +or my pattern may challenge your paternal love and care, why do you, now +good fortune has provided a better Husband for me than your hopes could +ever fancy, strive to rob me of him? In what is my Lord _Charles_ +defective, Sir? unless deep Learning be a blemish in him, or well +proportion'd limbs be mulcts in nature, or, what you only aim'd at, large +Revenues, are, on the sudden, grown distasteful to you. Of what can you +accuse him? + +_Lew_. Of a Rape done to Honour, which thy ravenous lust made thee consent +to. + +_Syl_. Her lust! you are her Father. + +_Lew_. And you her Bawd. + +_Syl_. Were you ten Lords, 'tis false; the pureness of her chaste thoughts +entertains not such spotted instruments. + +_Ang_. As I have a Soul, Sir. + +_Lew_. I am not to be alter'd; to sit down with this disgrace, would argue +me a Peasant, and not born Noble: all rigour that the Law, and that +increase of power by favour yields, shall be with all severity inflicted; +you have the King's hand for't, no Bail will serve, and therefore at your +perils, Officers, away with 'em. + +_Bri_. This is madness. + +_Lew_. Tell me so in open Court, and there I'le answer you. + +_Enter_ Miramont, Charles, Eustace, Andrew. + +_Mir_. Well overtaken. + +_Char_. Ill if they dare resist. + +_Eust_. He that advances but one step forward dies. + +_Lew_. Shew the King's Writ. + +_Mir_. Shew your discretion, 'twill become you better. + +_Char_. Y'are once more in my power, and if again I part with you, let me +for ever lose thee. + +_Eust_. Force will not do't, nor threats; accept this service from your +despair'd of _Eustace_. + +_And_. And beware your Reverend Worship never more attempt to search my +_Lilly pot_, you see what follows. + +_Lew_. Is the King's power contemn'd? + +_Mir_. No, but the torrent o' your wilful folly stopp'd. And for you, good +Sir, if you would but be sensible, what can you wish, but the satisfaction +of an obstinate will, that is not endear'd to you? rather than be cross'd +in what you purpos'd, you'll undo your Daughter's fame, the credit of your +judgment, and your old foolish Neighbour; make your Estates, and in a Suit +not worth a Cardecue, a prey to Advocates, and their buckram Scribes, and +after they have plum'd ye, return home like a couple of naked Fowles +without a feather. + +_Char_. This is a most strong truth, Sir. + +_Mir_. No, no, Monsieur, let us be right Frenchmen, violent to charge; but +when our follies are repell'd by reason, 'tis fit that we retreat, and +ne'er come on more: Observe my learned _Charles_, he'll get thee a Nephew +on _Angellina_ shall dispute in her belly, and suck the Nurse by Logick: +and here's _Eustace_, he was an Ass, but now is grown an _Amadis_; nor +shall he want a Wife, if all my Land, for a Joynture, can effect: Y'are a +good Lord, and of a gentle nature, in your looks I see a kind consent, and +it shews lovely: and do you hear, old Fool? but I'le not chide, hereafter, +like me, ever doat on Learning, the meer belief is excellent, 'twill save +you; and next love Valour, though you dare not fight your self, or fright +a foolish Officer, young _Eustace_ can do it to a hair. And, to conclude, +let _Andrew_'s farm b' encreas'd, that is your penance, you know for what, +and see you rut no more; you understand me. So embrace on all sides. + +_I'le pay those Bilmen, and make large amends, +Provided we preserve you still our Friends_-- [Exeunt. + + + * * * * * + + +Prologue. + +_But that it would take from our modesty +To praise the Writer, or the Comedy, +Till your fair suffrage crown it, I should say, +Y'are all most welcome to no vulgar Play; +And so far w'are confident: And if he +That made it, still lives in your memorie, +You will expect what we present to night, +Should be judged worthy of your ears and sight. +You shall hear_ Fletcher _in it, his true strain, +And neat expressions; living he did gain +Your good opinions; but now dead commends +This Orphan to the care of Noble Friends; +And may it raise in you content and mirth, +And be received for a legitimate birth. +Your grace erects new Trophies to his fame, +And shall, to after-times, preserve his name._ + + +Epilogue. + +_'Tis not the hands, or smiles, or common way +Of approbation to a well lik'd Play, +We only hope; but that you freely would +To th' Author's memory so far unfold, +And shew your loves and liking to his Wit, +Not in your praise, but often seeing it; +That being the grand assurance that can give +The Poet and the Player means to live._ + + + + +APPENDIX. + +_In the following references to the text the lines are numbered from the +top of the page, including titles, acts, stage directions, &c., but not, +of course, the headline. Where, as in the lists of Persons Represented, +there are double columns, the right-hand column is numbered after the +left._ + +It has not been thought necessary to record the correction of every turned +letter nor the substitution of marks of interrogation for marks of +exclamation and _vice versa_. Full-stops have been silently inserted at +the ends of speeches and each fresh speaker has been given the dignity of +a fresh line: in the double-columned folio the speeches are frequently run +on. Only misprints of interest in the Quartos and the First Folio are +recorded. + + + +THE ELDER BROTHER: VARIANTS IN THE QUARTOS. + +(A) The | Elder Brother, | A | Comedy. | Acted at the Black Friers, by +his | Majesties Servants. | Printed according to the true Copie. | Written +by John Fletcher Gent. | London, | Imprinted by F.K. for J.W. and J.B. | +1637. + +(B) The | Elder Brother | A | Comedie. | Acted at the Blacke Friers, by +his | Majesties Servants. | Printed according to the true Copie. | Written +by John Fletcher Gent. | London, | Imprinted by F.K. for J.W. and J.B. | +1637. + +(C) The | Elder Brother: | A | Comedie. | Acted at the private house in +Blacke Fryers, | with great Applause, by His late | Majesties Servants. | +Printed according to the true Copie. | Written by Francis Beaumont, and +John Fletcher, Gent. | The second Edition, Corrected and Amended. | +London, | Printed for Humphrey Moseley, and are to be sold at | his Shop +at the Princes Armes in St. Paules Church yard. | 1651. + +(D) The | Elder Brother, | A | Comedy. | Acted at the Black Friers by +| His Majesties Servants. | Printed according to the true Copy. | Written +by John Fletcher Gent. | London: | Printed in the Year, 1661. + +(E) The | Elder Brother: | A Comedy. | As it is now Acted at the +Theatre Royal, | By His Majesties Servants. | Written by Francis Beaumont, +and John Fletcher, Gent. | London, | Printed by T.N. for D.N. and T.C. +and are to be sold by George Marriott, at the Sign of the Temple | near +the Inner Temple Gate in Fleetstreet. | M. DC. LXXVIII. + +(This Edition was published the year before the publication of the Second +Folio. I have not had an opportunity of examining it, but an American +correspondent, who kindly collated my proof-sheets with the copy in the +Boston Public Library, has sent me his notes. The text is practically that +of the Second Folio.) + + + +APPENDIX + +p. 1, +l. 5. A-D] The Speakers of the Play. +l. 29. A-D _omit_ here and in similar cases at the beginning of a scene] +Enter. A-D _omit_] and. + +p. 2, +l. 14. A-D] others hands. +l. 15. C] Coach. +l. 20. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Frow. C] of body and of. +l. 24. B and C] vertues. + +p. 3, +l. 8. A-D] pleasure. +l. 14. A-D] state. +l. 18. C] the publique. +l. 31. A-C] kings. +l. 32. A-C] in the Country. + +p. 4, +l. 14. C] up a. +l. 19. A-C] such one. +l. 30. C] pleasure. +l. 33. A-D _omit_] and. + +p. 5, +l. 9. C _omits_] quite, +l. 38. A, B and D] Would 'ee. +l. 39. C] as my M'r. + +p. 6, +l. 16. A-D _add_] Ex. +l. 20. B and C] put in. +l. 27. 2nd Folio _misprints_] my. + +p. 7, +l. 5. A] to buttry. +l. 11. C] Hoe, Lackey. +l. 18. D] and to. +l. 21. A-D _print the stage direction after_ adorer. +l. 29. B and C] loves. +l. 30. C] with service. + +p. 8, +l. 10. B and C] the palm of. +l. 28. B and C] and Bucolicks. +l. 29. B and C] guard. +l. 32. B and C] pleasures. + +p. 9, +l. 2. 2nd Folio] Husband. +l. 26. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Compaions. +l. 40. A] Hee's indeed. + +p. 10, +l. 12. B and C] nor your. +l. 17. A-C] Trumpe. +l. 33. D] promise. + +p. 11, +l. 2. C] much each ease. +l. 3. C] for a shelfe of. +ll. 14 and 17. D] travail...travailes. +l. 19. A] _Eust_. If take. + B] _Eust_. If this take. D also prints _Eust_. here. + C] _Bri_. If this take. +l. 32. A-D _add_] Finis Actus primi. +l. 33. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Seundus. + +p. 12, +l. 1. C] But know to. +l. 8. C] entail'd to ye. +l. 20. C] spirit and the. +l. 25. C] tedious speech. +l. 29. A-D] spake. +l. 36. C] a Jesuite. +l. 40. B and C] fat and feesible. A-D] then you sit. + +p. 13, +l. 9. A] on't. +l. 27. A] pox of Venice. +l. 36. B and C] girles and. + +p. 14, +l. 6. A-D] vent. +l. 16. A] Libratyan Almanack. B-D] Library an. +l. 20. B and C] o'er the ears. +ll. 24 and 25. A] the art. +l. 26. A-D] snowes. + +p. 15, +l. 2. A-D] state. +l. 9. C _omits_] shall. +l. 12. A and C] land too, to. +l. 16. A-D] state. +l. 31. A-D omit] these. +l. 34. B and C] auras. +l. 36. A-D] nor do not weigh. + +p. 16, +l. 1. B and C] your brains. +l. 4. A-D] University Lovaine. +l. 8. B and C _add_] Exit. +l. 11. B and C] to my. +l. 18. B and D] nor behaviour. +ll. 18 and 19. C _omits_] no gentle...in 'em. +l. 30. C] a fine. +l. 33. A-D] state. + +p. 17, +l. 3. B-D] in mine. +l. 28. A-D] Is at's. +l. 34. A-C] spirits. +l. 38. A-D _with variations of_ Ex, _and_ Ex'] _Ex_. Lent. + +p. 18, +l. 2. B and C] Males and. +l. 12. A-C] metamaticall. +l. 25. C] bread for. + +p. 19, +l. 2. A and D] younger. B and C _omit_] to. +l. 3. A-D] the heir will do. +l. 8. B] fame. +l. 28. A-C] and her lodging. +l. 34. B and C] stie. + +p. 20, +l. 1. B and C] Crown's awry. +l. 2. 2nd Folio] slip. +l. 6. B] your bookes. C] I have not swept your. +l. 16. C] ages. +l. 20. B] nere have marryed. C] nere have warmed. +l. 23. C] I not regarded them. +l. 31. A--D] as daintily. +l. 39. A] Gammer. + +p. 21, +l. 3. B--D] do find. +l. 7. C] the happy day that. +l. 9. B--D] my great care. +l. 15. A--D] state. B and C _omit_] a. +l. 19. A--D] on our. +l. 28. A, B and D read _Not._ for _Lew._ C _omits_] Lew. +l. 29. A--D _print for Not.] Lewis, and make Not.'s speech begin_ + If it had been etc. + +p. 22, +l. 6. C] he may make. +l. 18. C] an annual. +l. 33. C] set it ready. +l. 36. 2nd Folio _misprints_] clook. + +p. 23, +l. 2. C] to make. +l. 23. B _omits_] a. C] What noise is this, my. +l. 37. C] squeaking's. + +p. 24, +l. 2. C] angry Sir. +l. 15. C] And there's. +l. 27. C] today. +l. 36. A--C] O you'ld. +l. 37. C and D] book. + +p. 25, +l. 2. C] elder. +l. 15. C] very wide. +l. 18. A--D] book. +l. 25. C] I come not for. +l. 32. C] I'le assure you. +l. 36. C] Thee, thou art. + +p. 26, +l. 4. A--D] Gincracke. +l. 11. C] venter. +l. 12. A] t'ee. +l. 38. C] sensible when the. C _omits_] when it. + +p. 27, +l. 11. A and D] speak. B and C] spake. + +p. 28, +l. 4. B and C] the care. +l. 11. B and C] women. +l. 13. C _adds after_ prethee] 'twill be tenne times better. +l. 22. A--D _omit_] and. +l. 24. C _omits_] Is your's ready. +l. 25. C _omits all the Priest's speech_. +l. 27. C _omits_] Do...exactly. +l. 29. C] fault Sir. + +p. 29, +l. 5. A--D] nor he. +l. 7. B and C _omit_] Faith. +l. 9. B and C] so think I too. +l. 15. D _omits_] and. +l. 29. C _omits_] but. +l. 32. C] Will you set too your hand brother. +l. 38. C _omits_] only. + +p. 30, +l. 10. A--C _omit_] to. +l. 17. C] want man. +l. 20. B and C] Lampes. + +p. 31, +l. 22. A and C] want present. +l. 31. C] fingred morn. +l. 33. C] till your. + +p. 32, +l. 7. C] and stop. +l. 11. B--D] Has. +l. 12. B--D] Has. +ll. 12 and 13. C _omits_] I hope...an Ass. +l. 21. C] are gay and. +l. 24. C] Can you love. +l. 36. A] failling. +ll. 36 and 37. A--D] all elements. + +p. 33, +l. 2. C] shall close. +l. 12. A and B] our inside. +l. 28. 2nd Folio _misprints_] your. +l. 29. C] your fingers. +l. 37. B and C] hand too. + +p. 34, +l. 1. C] He shall Coxcombe. C _omits_] Jew, thou...asses Coxcomb. +l. 11. C] friends. +l. 12. C] Land, pox on't has got the wench too. + +p. 35, +l. 5. C] sots. +l. 11. B and C] thy owne. +l. 21. A--D] cowardliness. +l. 29. 2nd Folio] house I'll, +l. 34. B and C] their Country. +l. 40. A and D] and cover. + +p. 37, +l. 3. E and 2nd Folio] chafer. +l. 24. B and C] travelling language. +l. 27. B and C] but those. +l. 29. A--D _omit_] And. +l. 30. D and 2nd Folio _omit_] they. +l. 32. B and C] pruning and dressing up. +l. 39. B and C] and a little. + +p. 38, +l. 10. A--D _omit_] Enter. 2nd Folio] Angellia. +l. 13. C] a strange set. +l. 22. C] in bed. +l. 31. A and D] fie. +l. 36. B _omits] Ang., making it a continuation of Char's previous +speech._ B and C _omit_] Sir. + +p. 39, +l. 5. C] blushes too, men. +l. 14. A--C] Ceremony. +l. 16. B and C] should seal. C] hand. +l. 17. B--D] an Heretick. +ll. 17 and 18. C] would do. +l. 20. C] slumbers. +l. 21. C] see your. +l. 26. C] clip ye. C] kiss ye. +l. 31. C] Queens to wear. + +p. 40, +l. 2. A--C] anything, anything fit. +ll. 5 and 6. C] mingled, Mistris, and. +ll. 6 and 7. C] should consent now, I. C _omits_] fo'rt. +l. 8. C] beauteous sparkle. +l. 9. B and C] part of life run. +l. 11. C] that which. +ll. 17 and 18. C] flowers woe us to tumble; yet. +ll. 22 and 23. C] but your affections. +l. 24. C _omits_] A good night t'ye, and. +ll. 24 and 25. C] fall on you, and lock. +l. 33. C] they'l not be kept out. +l. 34. A--D _omit_] fit. + +p. 41, +l. 4. C] her ore sufficiently. +l. 16. C] my. +l. 21. D _omits_] may. +ll. 24 and 25. E and 2nd Folio print stage direction after Eustace's +speech. +l. 39. C] too; to think is. + +p. 42, +l. 2. A, B and D] sign of man. +l. 20. B and D] I'll talke thee. +l. 30. C] poore slight despicable thing. + +p. 43, +l. 9. B] In truth, Sir. +l. 12. C] one who. +l. 13. C] so frighted 'um, so. +l. 17. A and C] frosts. +l. 22. B and C] Glo-wormes taile. +l. 30. C] the reason. +l. 35. A--D] to you. + +p. 44, +ll. 8 and 9. C] and shall to as Ile handle it, it shall. +l. 30. C and D] spake. +l. 31. A--C] ere I done. + +p. 46, +l. 1. C, _after_ his own, _inserts_] _And._ I warrant thee Wench. +l. 9. C] _after_ grant a little, _inserts line 11 here instead of below_. +l. 12. A--C] will put. +l. 23. C] with his wife within. +l. 24. A--D] Farm in Cuckolds. + +p. 47, +l. 4. A] poll'd off. +l. 15. A and D] an hundred. +l. 29. 2nd Folio _misprints_] Agne. + A--D] Hee's. + +p. 48, +l. 6. B and C] women. +l. 12. A--D] a' has a. +l. 22. C] us Scholars. +l. 36. A _adds_] _Lew_ before _Cow_. + +p. 49, +l. 12. A--C] do nor suffer. +l. 13. B and C] are there. +l. 33. A--C] thinke's no. +l. 38. A, B and D] no use. + +p. 50, +ll. 17 and 18. B and C] make you the Court. + +p. 51, +ll. 24--26. A--D _place the stage direction after_ opens _instead of +after_ opportunity. +l. 37. C] None Sir. + +p. 52, +l. 2. B and C] doores. + +p. 53, +l. 4. A and B] ever could. +l. 7. B and C] plung'd in, teaching. +l. 8. A] how fare. +l. 9. B and C] you were thought. +l. 17. A--D] would dispense. + +p. 54, +l. 3. B and C] till thine. + +p. 55, +l. 12. B and C] and will. +l. 19. 2nd Folio _misprints_] my. + +p. 56, +l. 3. A] you valour. +l. 8. 2nd Folio _misprints_] reptation. +l. 11. C] and old as. +l. 22. 2nd Folio] Angellia. +l. 23. C] perswasion. +l. 25. B and C] falsly. +l. 27. A] so fare. +ll. 28 and 29. C] repairs, but rather ruines that honour...up; you destroy +what. +l. 30. C] or my reputation. +l. 31. C _omits_] good. +l. 34. C] Love Charles. +l. 35. C] limbs held. + +p. 57, +l. 1. C] thy honour. +l. 4. C] thou. +l. 6. B and C] entertain. +l. 18. C] Kill if. +l. 35. A--D] states. C _omits_] and. + +p. 58, +l. 8. A--D] affect it. +l. 10. _After_ old Fool C _inserts_] _Bri._ Your brother Sir. +l. 18. C] we continue still good. + C _adds_] Finis. +l. 22. A and D] Till you. +l. 25. C] live. + +p. 59, + A, B and D _add_] Finis. + +Hereafter like me, ever doate on learning, +The meere beleefe is excellent, 'twill save you; +And next love valour, though you dare not fight +Your selfe, or fright a foolish Officer, 'young _Eustace_ +Can doe it to a haire. And to conclude, +Let _Andrew's_ Farm b'encreas'd, that is your penance, +You know for what, and see you rut no more, +You understand me, So embrace on all sides; + Ile pay those Billmen, and make large amends; + Provided we preserve you still our friends.-- _Exeunt._ + +[_A few misprints in the above have been corrected in square brackets to +agree with _B.] + + +THE ELDER BROTHER: VARIANTS IN THE EGERTON MS. + +There is a manuscript version of this play in the Egerton collection, +British Museum (No. 1994). It is, presumably, a transcript of one of the +early copies. It differs frequently from the Folio and the Quartos in +single words and, occasionally, in lines but, as its authority is of +doubtful value, it has seemed best to give a collation of it here, apart +from the collations of the Quartos. + +_Begins_ Actus Primus. Scaena I. + +p. 1, +l. 29. _Omits_ and. + +p. 2, +l. 7. foolish idle. +l. 14. others hands. +l. 24. vertues. + +p. 3, +l. 9. kinde. +l. 13. purposed. +l. 14. state. +l. 30. great mans. +l. 31. kings. + +p. 4, +l. 28. Merry wenches. + +p. 5, +l. 9. Cellar dry. +l. 14. knowing pallat. +l. 39. ever should ask. + +p. 6, +l. 6. how ere. +l. 20. put in act. +l. 24. was addicted to. +l. 31. blest with. +l. 39. _Omits_ what yet ...Flatter +l. 40. _Omits_ without. + _Also gives stage direction in margin_:--Trampling. + +p. 7, +l. 15. _Omits_ _Chas._ Your blessing, Sir. +l. 18. Countries garb. +l. 25. _Stage direction_:--plucks out a booke and reades. +l. 29. loves. +l. 30. with service. +l. 31. And report. +l. 32. Pray you first make use of it. +l. 37. Exit cum sociis. + +p. 8, +l. 4. lay it. +l. 5. and the. +l. 6. leads to. +l. 10. the palme of. +l. 13. ore worne. +l. 25. _Omits_ and there ...bring me. +l. 29. guard. + +p. 9, +l. 11. from thee. +l. 16. Quiddits from this time to Adam. +l. 19. estates. +l. 22. that bends not. +ll. 23 and 24. fix their. +l. 37. any sense. +l. 38. my yonger Eustace. + +p. 10, +l. 12. nor your. +l. 14. shall never. +l. 16. _Omits_ and but ... that I. +l. 32. I did sir ... a word. He's. + +p. 11, +l. 18. would resist. +l. 19. _Apportions thus_:--_Egre._ If this take now we are made for ever. +_Cowsy._ And will rebell it. Exeunt all but Andrew. +l. 21. my Master. +ll. 24 and 25. out their. +l. 29. blade he was wont to be. +l. 30. heele ring 'em...as will shake. + +p. 12, +l. 1. But know to. +l. 5. a fool, an. +l. 8. to yee. +ll. 24 and 25. new Congees. +l. 28. _Omits_ therefore. +l. 30. _Omits_ Sir. +l. 32. Do you know what learning is brother? + +p. 13, +l. 15. _Omits_ Brother. +l. 36. foolish girles & puppets. + +p. 14, +l. 5. to my best. +l. 6. vent. +l. 13. You. +l. 16. library an Almanacke. +l. 26. Snowes. +l. 36. to build up. +l. 39. Charles shall set. + +p. 15, +l. 12. Land too to your. +l. 13. he is no heir. +l. 16. my state. +l. 19. staies pulling. +l. 31. know things. +l. 36. nor do not weigh. + +p. 16, +l. 4. University Lovaine. +l. 11. look now to my. +l. 22. spit fire, snow. +l. 23. that we call. +l. 30. a fine youth. +l. 33. his state ... Did you see my Mistris. + +p. 17, +l. 9. that ride. +l. 11. that have ... and speake. +l. 23. I shall kisse. +l. 27. thy master. +l. 34. no spirits a'th. +l. 36. Shall we have. + +p. 18, +l. 2. males and. +l. 4. Red Sea early a question. +l. 12. Metamatical. +ll. 19 and 20. are above. +l. 22. ravish with. +l. 25. thy bread. +l. 26. wouldst blanch an Almond. _Omits_ the Sect...invented that. +l. 27. the trenchers. +l. 33. scraps. +l. 36. the drink. +l. 38. not he. + +p. 19, +ll. 2 and 3. bowle, my yonger Mr. that must be now the heire will do all +these. +l. 28. and her lodging. +l. 34. sty growne. + +p. 20, +l. 1. Crowne's awry, two. +l. 6. swept your books. +l. 9. has pleased. +l. 10. I beleeve her Constellation bee loose. +ll. 15 and 16. and bound up in monstrous [sic] smooth. +l. 25. you one Sir. +l. 31. goes as daintily. + +p. 21, +l. 2. a secret out. +l. 3. I doe find. +l. 6. _Adds_ and Servants. +ll. 7 and 8. the happy day that. +l. 9. my great care. +l. 15. state...in Joynter. +l. 19. drawn of our. +l. 28. _Not._ [character]. land. +ll. 29 and 30. _Lew._ T'was not conditional. _Not._ If it had been found, +twas but a fault in the writing &c. + +p. 22, +l. 1. seeks, kills. +l. 5. as in others. +l. 6. yet hee may. +l. 8. that's been. +l. 14. Cook, Butler, Lillie. +ll. 25--28. and bee serviceable...see your Sauces bee all poynant and +sharpe in...looke to yor roast and bakt meates made things--Is the. +l. 31. the roome cleare...open for all. +l. 34. Cordes they be not. +l. 35. _Omits_ abroad. +l. 38. cannot slip. + +p. 23, +l. 6. wee shall see. +l. 10. not trouble. +l. 11. Sweet-heart. +l. 12. Exeunt. Andrew stayes. +l. 13. ripe? make but my farme as much more and kisse her. +l. 16. pleasure; he can do her no harme, and if it were. +l. 22. _Adds stage direction_ A noyse. +l. 23. What noyse. +l. 24. Note. The words "within a Parenthesis" are omitted in the MS. but +("my head is broken") is in parentheses in MS. It is obvious that these +words were intended as a direction to the printer and have got into the +text in error. +l. 25. Collicke. +l. 29. tis faithful. +l. 37. squeaking is that. + +p. 24, +ll. 1 and 2. Geese and Turkeys for the spit Sir...are angry too that makes +the medley. +l. 3. thus every. +l. 4. _Omits_ yet. +l. 9. foul. +l. 16. make 'em drink. +l. 25. I never have. +l. 26. that's a small. +l. 27. married Sir this day. +l. 33. _Omits_ young, sweet, and modest. +ll. 36 and 37. with his booke. +l. 38. for him. + +p. 25, +l. 2. elder. +l. 4. shoulders now Sir. +l. 10. Notary, Servants. +ll. 16 and 17. Cherub's ... with wings of modest. +l. 18. booke. +l. 24. I come not for. +l. 28. and a sharp to reprehend. +l. 32. Ile assure. + +p. 26, +l. 4. he can get. +l. 27. is here too. + +p. 27, +l. 1. book, when it fell on your head, Sir. +l. 6. but new string. +l. 12. Must my. +l. 19. stubbornst willfullest. +l. 21. provide a wife for you. +l. 27. How dost thou Charles what still still at. +l. 38. I have boy, unto. + +p. 28, +l. 4. yo'ur care. +l. 12. _Omits_ and wish my Brother fortune. +l. 13. _Adds_ it will bee ten times better. +l. 22. _Omits_ and. +l. 24. _Gives this line to Eustace_. +l. 29. fault Sir. +l. 32. thy owne. +l. 35. kickses. + +p. 29, +ll. 1 and 2. dark secret. +l. 4. admirable. +l. 5. nor he. +l. 7. _Omits_ Faith. +l. 9. think I to. +l. 29. Man was my argument. +l. 32. Will yo'u sett to your hand brother. +l. 35. I say Son you trifle time. +l. 38. if you had shewed me land only. + +p. 30, +l. 17. though. +l. 20. with Dim Lamps. +l. 32. and blush. +l. 38. than life. +l. 39. me love. + +p. 31, +l. 5. yours still and your glory. +l. 6. I your. +l. 31. rosy morn. +l. 35. those lights. + +p. 32, +l. 1. there be lesse. +l. 12. into feaver, +l. 24. can you love with. +l. 30. I confesse. +l. 31. but yee shall. +ll. 36 and 37. all Elements. + +p. 33, +l. 5. _Omits_ one stay. +l. 17. nor horses. +l. 30. art thou in. + +p. 34, +l. 1. Many asses. +l. 13. Pox could he not. +l. 20. take up. +l. 24. No, no, no. + +p. 35, +l. 1. mettle. +l. 11. thy own. +l. 12. my own. +l. 21. Cowardlines...upon. +ll. 33 and 34. seene but their owne Country smoak, would grow. + +p. 36, +l. 10. a meer. +l. 21. on 'em. +l. 31. in my armes. + +p. 37, +l. 13. his two noble warlike. +l. 16. as they came newly from. +l. 23. to fall into a greene. +l. 24. travailing language. +l. 29. _Omits_ And. +ll. 30 and 31. to distinguish between a. +l. 32. pruning and dressing up. +l. 36. _Omits_ Sir. +l. 39. and a little. + +p. 38, +l. 1. fit Sir. +l. 13. strang. +ll. 36-38. _gives these lines as continuation of Charles's speech_. + +p. 39, +l. 5. too men. +l. 15. ours healthful. +l. 21. see. +l. 26. _Omits_ Nature. +l. 26. clip yee. +ll. 26 and 27. kiss yee. +l. 37. have need. +l. 38. studied among. + +p. 40, +l. 2. anything, anything fit. +l. 8. beauties favour. +l. 9. part of life run. +ll. 17 and 18. flowers woe us to't; yet ... these pleasures. +l. 24. _Omits_ A good night t'ye, and. _Begins_ May the dew etc. +l. 32. are at. +l. 38. I command. + +p. 41, +l. 1. _Omits the line_ Enter Eustace &c. +l. 16. my own. +l. 24. Snatches out his. +l. 38. _Omits_ to me. + +p. 42, +l. 1. neither wit. +l. 2. of man. +l. 13. on 'em. +l. 20. lie talke. +l. 24. your mercy. +l. 30. _Omits_ ye despicable creatures. +l. 34. _Omits_ What did you bring to carry her? + +p. 43, +l. 3. _Omits_ Enter Miramont. +l. 5. _Eust_ (char.). +l. 6. by friends. +l. 9. In truth, I ... duty Sir. +l. 11. Bring in a. +l. 17. nor frost. +l. 21. but yong neither. +l. 22. tayle. +l. 24. have the right. +l. 25. are Anagrams. +l. 34. hear and hereafter laugh at. +l. 35. you dear. + +p. 44, +l. 5. such question. +l. 9. old goate. +l. 10. _Omits_ her. +l. 12. _Omits_ that's a. +l. 21. a feast for him to make him fat. +ll. 23 and 24. and we'le breake. +l. 27. like servants. +l. 31. take them. + +p. 45, +l. 16. I must needs tast of. +ll. 17 and 18. tender of you, and for your healths and credlts sake must +tell you, you have all you are like to have. +l. 19. _Omits_ And. +l. 23. is truth Sir...find it, you. +l. 26. of an. +l. 35. scoffing cheating queane. + +p. 46, +l. 3. his lease. +l. 8. loving and. +l. 12. will put. +l. 14. marke hlm. +l. 15. thank you for thy office. +l. 17. Cue Sir, and second me. By. +l. 21. _Omits_ me. +l. 21. alas nothing. +l. 24. Cockold Tenure. +l. 30. Andrew wilt thou. +l. 32. be the Justice. +l. 34. in thee. + +p. 47, +l. 3. arizing. +l. 5. _Omits_ O. +l. 15. the farme...to it. +l. 20. troth Sir there is...mine, (_omits_ Sir). +l. 29. have got an ague that you shake...he's. + +p. 48, +l. 6. women. +l. 8. of my brother. +l. 21. ride the better. +ll. 23 and 24. _Puts_ Andrew _after_ promise. _Omits_ Andrew _after_ Farm. +ll. 36 and 37. reparable a losse and easily recoverd. + +p. 49, +l. 2. dozen or 2 of oaths. +l. 6. so well, that on my. +l. 8. rules out. +l. 12. nor suffer. +l. 13. are there no. +l. 16. with us. +l. 38. no use. + +p. 50, +ll. 10--12. _Omits_ that batten...no palats. +ll. 17 and 18. make you the. +l. 36. Antidote, or--. + +p. 51, +l. 4. are reformd. +l. 28. Ere I went. +ll. 31--34. is in itself a guard and yet since...may weare...nor can eat +or study. +l. 37. None Sir. + +p. 52, +l. 4. not done in scorn. +l. 11. what you. +l. 14. ask from. +l. 17. toil ascended. +l. 22. what this tempest. +l. 37. I goe lesse. + +p. 53, +l. 4. ever could. +l. 7. plung'd in teachlng. +l. 9. you were. +l. 20. nor threats. +l. 25. Noe, Noe. +l. 26. and the other. +l. 33. _Adds_ They fight. + +p. 54, +l. 2. in time. +l. 3. till thine. +l. 8. as your father is. +l. 15. late in me Sir. +ll. 22 and 23. _Omits_ nay, the...are bound. +l. 25. that Eustace. +l. 26. and that the perfect. +l. 27. Nay, no. +l. 28. Sure I shall not need, Sir. +ll. 30, 31. _Omits_ to all that men call good. +l. 33. to. + +P. 55, +l. 7. and so deserve it. +l. 12. gravity in...and will. +l. 13. him, if he rebel, that. +l. 19. read a tragedy in my face, Sir. + +p. 56, +l. 4. _Omits_ and such a one. +l. 10. why, so, this is. +l. 11. and old. +l. 23. Death...perswasion. +l. 25. falsely. +l. 26. let me. +l. 28. but ruins rather that. +l. 30. reputation. +l. 34. love Charles. +l. 35. held mulcts. +l. 36. in the. + +p. 57, +l. 1. to mine honour. +l. 11. _Omits_ yields. +l. 15. _Adds_ Will you doe what you are sworne too. +l. 23. loose you. +l. 32. in that. +l. 35. states. + +p. 58, +l. 6. but is an Amadis. +l. 8. effect it. +l. 9. kind of consent. +l. 14. Andrew have his farme increasd. +l. 15. and rut no. +l. 17. the Billmen. + +_The MS. gives the_ Epilogue _but not the_ Prologue. + +It also adds the following verses:-- + +Epigram: + +A freemans life is like a pilgrimage +Whats his life then that lives in mariage +Tis Sisiphus his toyle that with a stone +Doth doe what surely for ease must be done +His laboures Journey's endles, tis no Riddle +Since he's but halfe on's way that stands in th'middle. + + + +_Ad Janum_. + +Take Comfort Janus, never feare thy head +Which to the quick belongs, not to the dead +Thy wife did lye with one, thou being dead drunke +Thou art no Cuckold though shee bee a Punke. + +Tis not the state nor soveraintie of Jove +could draw thy pure affections from my love +nor is there any Venus in the Skyes +could from thy looks with draw my greedy eyes. + + + + +THE SPANISH CURATE + +A = First Folio; B = Second Folio. + +p. 60, +ll. 3-41. Omitted in A. +l. 42. A _omits_] and. +l. 46. A] heirs. + +p. 61, +l. 38. A] Encreasing by. +l. 39. B _misprints_] Vialante. + +p. 63, +l. 17. A] base and abject. + +p. 64, +l. 2. A] Or modestie. +l. 18. B _misprints_ whow. +l. 31. A] wish that it. + +p. 65, +l. 17. A] By this example. +l. 25. A] or of my. + +p. 66, +l. 8. A] of mine own. +l. 26. A] Mirth, and Seck. + +p. 68, +l. 2. A] have you. + +p. 70, +l. 28. A] provoking it call. + +p. 73, +l. 13. A] To me, of, that misery against my will. + +p. 74, +l. 33. A] A _omits_] as. + +p. 75, +l. 18. A] A gives this line to _Lean_. +l. 31. A _adds_] exit lea. _and gives_ +ll. 32 and 33 _to_ Ars. +l. 34. A _omits_] Exeunt Mil. Ars. + +p. 76, +l. 29. A] _A comma has been substituted for a full-stop after_ weathers. + +p. 77, +l. 25. A] look out it. +l. 39. A] has. + +p. 79, +l. 3. A] often-times. +l. 15. B _prints_] Dig. +l. 28. A _omits_] to. +ll. 33 and 34. A _gives these lines to_ Lea. + +p. 80, +l. 22. B _misprints_] yesterday. + +p. 82, +l. 9. A] still and the +l. 16. A] jealousies. + +p. 83, +l. 3. B] More. + +p. 84, +l. 15. A] Gentleman. + +p. 86, +l. 8. A] be a kin. +l. 10. A] 'long. + +p. 87, +l. 19. A] am both to +l. 23. A] 'Faith. + +p. 88, +l. 6. A] Y'faith. +l. 26. A] ye might. + +p. 89, +l. 4. A _adds_] Enter Amaranta. +l. 18. B _misprints_] womau. +ll. 21-34. Omitted in A. + +p. 90, +l. 22. A] lock upon me. + +p. 92, +l. 25. A _adds stage direction_] Two chaires set out. +l. 28. A _omits_] are. + +p. 93, +l. 10. A] porrage +l. 23. A] gymitrie. + + + + + +APPENDIX + + +THE ELDER BROTHER IN VERSE, FROM THE QUARTO OF 1637 (A). + + + +_Actus I. Scena I._ + + Lewis, Angellina, Sylvia. + +Nay, I must walk you farther. _Ang._ I am tyr'd Sir, +And nere shall foot it home. _L._ 'Tis for your health; +The want of exercise takes from your beauties, +And sloath dries up your sweetness: That you are +My onely Daughter and my heir, is granted; +And you in thankfulness must needs acknowledge, +You ever finde me an indulgent Father, +And open-handed. _Ang._ Nor can you tax me, Sir, +I hope, for want of duty to deserve +These favours from you. _Lew._ No, my _Angellina,_ +I love and cherish thy obedience to me, +Which my care to advance thee, shall confirm: +All that I aime at, is to winne thee from +The practise of an idle foolish state +Us'd by great Women, who think any labour +(Though in the service of themselves) a blemish +To their faire fortunes. _Ang._ Make me understand Sir, +What 'tis you point at. _Lew._ At the custome how +Virgins of wealthy families, waste their youth; +After a long sleep when you wake, your woman +Presents your breakfast, then you sleep again, +Then rise, and being trimm'd up by others hands, +Y'are led to dinner, and that ended, either +To Cards or to your Couch (as if you were +Born without motion) After this to Supper, +And then to bed; And so your life runnes round +Without variety or action Daughter. + +_Syl._ Here's a learned Lecture! _Lew._ From this idlenesse +Diseases both in body and in minde +Grow strong upon you; where a stirring nature +With wholesome exercise guards both from danger: +I'de have thee rise with the Sunne, walke, dance or hunt, +Visite the groves and springs, and learne the vertue +Of Plants and Simples: Doe this moderately, +And thou shall not with eating chalke, or coales, +Leather and oatmeale, and such other trash, +Fall into the greene sicknesse. _Syl._ With your pardon +(Were you but pleas'd to minister it) I could +Prescribe a remedy for my Ladies health, +And her delight too, farre transcending those +Your Lordship but now mention'd. _Lew._ What is it _Sylvia?_ + +_Syl_. What i'st? A noble Husband; In that word, a +Noble Husband, all content of Woman +Is wholly comprehended; He will rowse her, +As you say, with the Sunne, and so pipe to her, +As she will dance, ne're doubt it, and hunt with her, +Upon occasion, untill both be weary; +And then the knowledge of your Plants and Simples, +As I take it, were superfluous; A loving, +And but adde to it a gamesome Bedfellow, +Being the sure Physician. _Lew_. Well said Wench. + +_Ang_. And who gave you Commission to deliver +Your verdict, Minion? _Syl_. I deserve a fee, +And not a frown, deare Madam; I but speak +Her thoughts, my Lord, and what her modesty +Refuses to give voyce to; shew no mercy +To a Maidenhead of fourteene, but off with't: +Let her lose no time Sir; fathers that deny +Their Daughters lawfull pleasure, when ripe for them, +In some kinds edge their appetites to tast of +The fruit that is forbidden. _Lew_. Tis well urg'd, +And I approve it; no more blushing Girle, +Thy woman hath spoke truth, and so prevented +What I meant to move to thee: There dwells neere us +A Gentleman of blood, Mounsieur _Brisac_, +Of a faire state, sixe thousand Crowns _per annum_, +The happy Father of two hopefull Sons, +Of different breeding; Th' elder, a meere Scholar, +The younger, a quaint Courtier. _Ang_. Sir, I know them +By publique fame, though yet I never saw them; +And that oppos'd antipathy between +Their various dispositions, renders them +The general discourse and argument; +One part inclining to the Scholar _Charles_, +The other side preferring _Eustace_, as +A man compleat in Courtship. _Lew_. And which [w]ay +(If of these two you were to chuse a husband) +Doth your affection sway you? _Ang_. to be plaine, Sir, +(Since you will teach me boldnesse) as they are +Simply themselves, to neither; Let a Courtier +Be never so exact, Let him be blest with +All parts that yeeld him to a Virgin gracious, +If he depend on others, and stand not +On his owne bottomes, though he have the meanes +To bring his Mistresse to a Masque, or by +Conveyance from some great ones lips, to taste +Such favour from the Kings: or grant he purchase, +Precedency in the Country, to be sworne +A servant Extraordinary to the Queen; +Nay, though he live in expectation of +Some huge preferment in reversion; If +He Want a present fortune, at the best +Those are but glorious dreames, and onely yeeld him +A happiness in _posse_, not in _esse_; +Nor can they fetch him silkes from th' Mercer; nor +Discharge a Taylors bill; nor in full plenty +(Which still preserves a quiet bed at home) +Maintaine a family. _Lew_. Aptly consider'd, +And to my wish; but what's thy censure of +The Schollar? _Ang_. Troth (if he be nothing else) +As of the Courtier; all his Songs, and Sonnets, +His Anagrams, Acrosticks, Epigrammes, +His deep and Philosophical discourse +Of natures hidden secrets, makes not up +A perfect husband; He can hardly borrow +The Starres of the Celestial crown to make me +A tire for my head; nor _Charles_ Waine for a Coach, +Nor _Ganymede_ for a Page, nor a rich Gowne +From _Juno's_ Wardrob, nor would I lye in +(For I despaire not once to be a mother) +Under heavens spangled Canopy, or banquet +My guests and Gossips with imagin'd Nectar; +Pure _Orleans_ would doe better; no, no, father, +Though I could be well pleas'd to have my husband +A Courtier, and a Schollar, young, and valiant, +These are but gawdy nothings, if there be not +Something to make a substance. _Lew_. And what is that? + +_Ang_. A full estate, and that said, I've said all, +And get me such a one with these additions, +Farewell Virginity, and welcome wedlock. + +_Lew_. But where is such one to be met with Daughter? +A black Swan is more common, you may weare +Grey tresses ere we find him. _Ang_. I am not +So punctual in all ceremonies, I will bate +Two or three of these good parts, before Ile dwell +Too long upon the choice. _Syl_. Onely, my Lord, remember +That he be rich and active, for without these +The others yeeld no relish, but these perfect; +You must bear with small faults, Madam. _Lew_. Merry Wench, +And it becomes you well; Ile to _Brisac_, +And try what may be done; ith' mean time, home, +And feast thy thoughts with th' pleasures of a Bride. + +_Syl_. Thoughts are but airy food Sir, let her tast them. + + + + +_Actus I. Scena II._ + + + Andrew, Cooke, Butler. + +Unload part of the Library, and make roome +For th' other dozen of Carts, Ile straight be with you. + +_Co_. Why hath he more bookes? _And_. More than ten Marts send over. + +_But_. And can he tell their names? _And_. their names? he has 'em +As perfect as his _pater noster_, but that's nothing, +'Has red them over leaf by leaf three thousand times; +But here's the wonder, though their weight would sink +A Spanish Carrack, without other ballast, +He carryeth them all in his head, and yet +He walkes upright. _But_. Surely he has a strong braine. + +_And_. If all thy pipes of wine were fill'd with bookes +Made of the barkes of trees, or mysteries writ +In old moth-eaten vellam, he would sip thy Celler +Quite dry, and still be thirsty; Then for's Diet, +He eats and digests more Volumes at a meal, +Than there would be Larkes (though the sky should fall) +Devowred in a moneth in _Paris_, yet feare not +Sons oth' buttry, and kitchin, though his learn'd stomack +Cannot b' appeas'd; Hee'll seldom trouble you, +His knowing stomack contemnes your blacke Jacks, _Butler_, +And your Flagons; and _Cook_ thy boyl'd, thy roast, thy bak'd. + +_Co._ How liveth he? _And._ Not as other men doe, +Few Princes fare like him; He breakes his fast +With _Aristotle_, dines with _Tully_, takes +His watering with the Muses, sups with _Livie_, +Then walkes a turne or two in _via lactea_, +And (after six houres conference with the starres) +Sleepes with old _Erra Pater_. _But._ This is admirable. + +_And._ I'le tell you more hereafter, here's my old Master +And another old ignorant Elder, Ile upon 'em. + + _Enter_ Brisac, Lewis. + +What _Andrew_? welcome, where's my _Charles_! speake _Andrew_, +Where didst thou leave thy Master? _And._ Contemplating +The number of the sands in the high way, +And from that, purposes to make a judgement +Of the remainder in the Sea; He is Sir, +In serious study, and will lose no minute, +Nor out of 's pace to knowledge. _Lew._ This is strange. + +_And._ Yet he hath sent his duty Sir before him +In this fair manuscript. _Bri._ What have we here? +Pot-hookes and Andirons! _And._ I much pitie you, +It is the Syrian Character, or the Arabicke, +Would 'ee have it said, so great and deep a Scholar +As Master _Charles_ is, should ask blessing +In any Christian Language? Were it Greeke, +I could interpret for you, but indeed +I'm gone no farther. _Bri._ And in Greeke, you can +Lie with your smug wife _Lilly_. _And._ If I keepe her +From your French dialect, as I hope I shall Sir, +Howere she is your Laundresse, she shall put you +To th' charge of no more soape than usuall +For th' washing of your sheets. _Bri._ Take in the knave, +And let him eat. _And._ And drink too Sir. _Bri._ And drinke too Sir, +And see your Masters Chamber ready for him. + +_But._ Come Doctor _Andrew_ without Disputation +Thou shall commence ith' Celler. _And._ I had rather +Commence on a cold bak'd meat. _Co._ Thou shall ha't, Boy. _Ex._ + +_Bri._ Good Mounsieur _Lewis_, I esteeme my selfe +Much honour'd in your cleare intent, to joyne +Our ancient families, and make them one, +And 'twill take from my age and cares to live +And see what you have purpos'd but in act, +Of which your visite at this present is +A hopeful Omen; I each minute expecting +Th' arrival of my Sons; I have not wrong'd +Their Birth for want of meanes and education, +To shape them to that course each was addicted; +And therefore that we may proceed discreetly, +Since what's concluded rashly seldome prospers, +You first shall take a strict perusal of them, +And then from your allowance, your fair daughter +May fashion her affection. _Lew._ Monsieur _Brisac_, +You offer fair, and nobly, and Ile meet you +In the same line of honour, and I hope, +Being blest but with one daughter, I shall not +Appeare impertinently curious, +Though with my utmost vigilance and study, +I labour to bestow her to her worth; +Let others speak her forme, and future fortune +From me descending to her; I in that +Sit down with silenc[e]. _Bri._ You may my Lord securely, +Since fame alowd proclaimeth her perfections, +Commanding all mens tongues to sing her praises; +Should I say more, you well might censure me +(What yet I never was) a Flatterer. +What trampling's that without of Horses? + + _Enter_ Butler. + +Sir my young Masters are newly alighted. + +_Bri._ Sir now observe their several dispositions. + + _Enter_ Charles. + +Bid my Subsiser carry my Hackney to buttry, +And give him his bever; it is a civil +And sober beast, and will drink moderately, +And that done, turne him into the quadrangle. + +_Bri._ He cannot out of his University tone. + + _Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +Lackey, Take care our Coursers be well rubb'd, +And cloath'd, they have out stripp'd the wind in speed. + +_Lew._ I marry Sir, there's metal in this young fellow! +What a sheeps look his elder brother has! + +_Char._ Your blessing, Sir? _Bri._ Rise _Charles_, thou hast it. + +_Eust._ Sir, though it be unusual in the Court, +(Since 'tis the Courtiers garbe) I bend my knee, +And do expect what followes. _Bri._ Courtly begg'd. +My blessing! take it. _Eust._ Your Lordships vow'd adorer: _to Lew._ +What a thing this brother is! yet Ile vouchsafe him +The new Italian shrug-- How clownishly +The book-worme does return it! _Ch._ I'm glad y'are well; _reads._ + +_Eust._ Pray you be happy in the knowledge of +This paire of accomplish't Mounsieurs. +They are Gallants that have seen both Tropicks. + +_Br._ I embrace their love. _Egr._ which wee'l repay with servulating. + +_Cow._ And will report your bounty in the Court. + +_Bri._ I pray you make deserving use on't first: +_Eustace_, give entertainment to your friends, +What's in my house is theirs. _Eust._ Which wee'l make use of; +Let's warme our braines with half a dozen healths, +And then hang cold discourse, for wee'll speak fire-workes. _Exe._ + +_Lew._ What at his book already? _Bri._ Fy, Fy, _Charles_, +No hour of interruption? _Cha._ Plato differs +From _Socrates_ in this. _Bri._ Come lay them by; +Let them agree at leasure. _Cha._ Mans life Sir, being +So short, and then the way that leades unto +The knowledg of our selves, so long and tedious, +Each minute should be precious. _Bri._ In our care +To manage worldly business, you must part with +This bookish contemplation, and prepare +Your self for action; to thrive in this age, +Is held the blame of learning; you must study +To know what part of my land's good for th' plough, +And what for pasture; how to buy and sell +To the best advantage; how to cure my Oxen +When they're oregrown with labour. _Cha._ I may do this +From what I've read Sir; for what concerns tillage? +Who better can deliver it than _Virgil_ +In his _Georgicks_? and to cure your herds, +His _Bucolicks_ is a masterpeece; but when +He does discribe the Commonwealth of Bees, +Their industry and knowledge of the herbs, +From which they gather honey, with their care +To place it with _decorum_ in the Hive, +Their gover[n]ment among themselves, their order +In going forth and comming loaden home, +Their obedience to their King, and his rewards +To such as labour, with his punishments +Onely inflicted on the slothful Drone, +I'm ravished with it, and there reap my harvest, +And there receive the gaine my Cattle bring me, +And there find wax and honey. _Bri._ And grow rich +In your imagination; heyday heyday, +_Georgicks_, _Bucolicks_, and Bees! Art mad? + +_Cha._ No Sir, the knowledge of these guards me from it. + +_Bri._ But can you find among your bundle of bookes +(And put in all your Dictionaries that speak all tongu's) +What pleasure they enjoy, that do embrace +A well shap'd wealthy Bride? Answer me that. + +_Cha._ Tis frequent Sir in story, there I read of +All kinde of vertuous and vitious women; +The ancient Spartan Dames, and Roman Ladyes, +Their beauties and deformities, and when +I light upon a _Portia_ or _Cornelia_, +Crown'd with still-flourishing leaves of truth and goodness, +With such a feeling I peruse their fortunes, +As if I then had liv'd, and freely tasted +Their ravishing sweetness; at the present loving +The whole sexe for their goodness and example. +But on the contrary when I looke on +A _Clytemnestra_, or a _Tullia_; +The first bath'd in her husbands blood; The latter, +Without a touch of piety, driving on +Her Chariot ore her fathers breathless trunk, +Horrour invades my faculties; and comparing +The multitudes o' th' guilty, with the few +That did dye Innocents, I detest, and loathe 'm +As ignorance or Atheisme. _Bri_. You resolve then +Nere to make payment of the debt you owe me. + +_Cha_. What debt, good Sir? _Bri_. A debt I payd my father +When I begat thee, and made him a Grandsir, +Which I expect from you. _Cha_. The children Sir, +Which I will leave to all posterity, +Begot and brought up by my painefull studies, +Shall be my living issue. _Bri_. Very well. +And I shall have a general collection +Of all the quiddits from _Adam_ to this time +To be my Grandchild. _Ch_. And such a one I hope Sir +As shall not shame the family. _Bri_. Nor will you +Take care of my estate? _Cha_. But in my wishes; +For know Sir, that the wings on which my Soul +Is mounted, have long since born her too high +To stoope to any prey that scares not upwards. +Sordid and dunghil minds compos'd of earth, +In that grosse Element fix all their happiness; +But purer spirits, purg'd and refin'd, shake off +That clog of humane frailtie; give me leave +T'injoy my selfe; that place that does containe +My Bookes (the best Companions) is to me +A glorious Court, where hourely I converse +With the old Sages and Philosophers, +And sometimes for variety, I conferre +With Kings and Emperours, and weigh their Counsels, +Calling their Victories (if unjustly got) +Unto a strict accompt, and in my phancy, +Deface their ill-plac'd Statues; Can I then +Part with such constant pleasures, to embrace +Uncertaine vanities? No, be it your care +T'augment your heap of wealth; It shall be mine +T'encrease in knowledg--Lights there for my study. _Exit_. + +_Bri_. Was ever man that had reason thus transported +From all sense and feeling of his proper good? +It vexes me, and if I found not comfort +In my young _Eustace_, I might well conclude +My name were at a period! _Lew_. Hee's indeed Sir +The surer base to build on. _Bri_. _Eustace_. _Eust_. Sir. + [_Ent. Eust. Egre. Cow. & Andr. + +_Bri_. Your eare in private. _And_. I suspect my master +Has found harsh welcome, he's gon supperless +Into his study; could I find out the cause, +It may be borrowing of his books, or so, +I shall be satisfi'd. _Eust_. My duty shall Sir, +Take any forme you please; and in your motion +To have me married, you cut off all dangers +The violent heats of youth might beare me to. + +_Lew_. It is well answer'd. _Eust_. Nor shall you my Lord +For your faire Daughter ever finde just cause +To mourn your choice of me; the name of husband, +Nor the authority it carries in it +Shall ever teach me to forget to be +As I am now her servant, and your Lordships; +And but that modesty forbids, that I +Should sound the Trump of my owne deserts, +I could say my choice manners have been such, +As render me lov'd and remarkable +To th' Princes of the blood. _Cow._ Nay to the King. + +_Egre._ Nay to the King and Councel. _And._ These are Court admirers, +And ever eccho him that beares the bagg. +Though I be dull-ey'd, I see through this jugling. + +_Eust._ Then for my hopes: _Cow._ Nay certainties. _Eust._ They stand +As faire as any mans. What can there fall +In compass of her wishes which she shall not +Be suddenly possess'd of? Loves she titles? +By th' grace and favour of my princely friends, +I am what she would have me. _Bri._ He speakes well, +And I beleeve him. _Lew._ I could wish I did so. +Pray you a word Sir. He's a proper Gentleman, +And promises nothing, but what is possible. +So far I will go with you; Nay I add, +He hath won much upon me, and were he +But one thing that his brother is, the bargain +Were soone struck up. _Bri._ What's that my Lord? _Lew._ the heire. + +_And._ Which he is not, and I trust never shall be. + +_Bri._ Come, that shall breed no difference; you see +_Charles_ has giv'n ore the World; Ile undertake, +And with much ease, to buy his birthright of him +For a dry-fat of new bookes; nor shall my state +Alone make way for him, but my-elder brothers, +Who being issueless, t'advance our name, +I doubt not will add his; Your resolution? + +_Lew._ He first acquaint my daughter with the proceedings, +On these terms I am yours, as she shall be, +Make you no scruple, get the writings ready, +She shall be tractable; to-morrow we will hold +A second conference: Farewell noble _Eustace_, +And you brave Gallants. _Eust._ Ful increase of honour +Wait ever on you[r] Lordship. _And._ The Gowt rather +And a perpetual Meagrim. _Bri._ You see _Eustace_, +How I travail to possess you of a fortune +You were not born to; be you worthy of it, +Ile furnish you for a Suitor; visit her +And prosper in't. _Eust._ Shee's mine Sir, fear it not: +In all my travailes, I nere met a Virgin +That could resist my Courtship. _Eust._ If take now, +Ware made for ever, and will revel it. _Exeunt._ + +_And._ In tough Welsh parsly, which in our vulgar Tongue +Is strong hempen halters; My poore Master coo'znd, +And I a looker on! If we have studied +Our majors, and our minors, antecedents, +And consequents, to be concluded coxcombes, +W have made a faire hand on't; I am glad I h've found +Out all their plots, and their conspiracies; +This shall t' old Mounsieur _Miramont_, one, that though +He cannot read a Proclamation, yet +Dotes on learning, and loves my Master _Charles_ +For being a Schollar; I hear hee's comming hither, +I shall meet him, and if he be that old +Rough teasty blade he always us'd to be, +I'le ring him such a peale as shall go neere +To shake their belroome, peradventure, beat 'm, +For he is fire and flaxe, and so have at him. _Exit_. + + _Finis Actus primi_. + + +_Actus 2. Scena I._ + + Miramont, Brisac. + +Nay Brother, brother. _Bri._ Pray Sir be not moved, +I meddle in no business but mine own, +And in mine owne 'tis reason I should governe. + +_Mir._ But how to govern then, and understand Sir, +And be as wise as y'are hasty, though you be +My brother, and from one bloud sprung, I must tell yee +Heartily and home too. _Br._ What Sir? _Mir._ What I grieve to find +You are a foole, and an old foole, and that's two. + +_Bri._ We'l part 'em, if you please. _Mir._ No they're entailed to 'em. +Seeke to deprive an honest noble spirit, +Your eldest Son Sir? and your very Image, +(But he's so like you that he fares the worse for't) +Because he loves his booke and doates on that, +And onely studies how to know things excellent, +Above the reach of such course braines as yours, +Such muddy fancies, that never will know farther +Then when to cut your Vines, and cozen Merchants, +And choake your hide-bound Tenants with musty harvests. + +_Bri._ You go to fast. _Mir._ I'm not come too my pace yet; +Because h' has made his studie all his pleasure, +And is retyr'd into his Contemplation, +Not medling with the dirt and chaffe of nature, +That makes the spirit of the mind mud too, +Therefore must he be flung from his inheritance? +Must he be dispossess'd, and Mounsieur Gingle boy +His younger brother-- _Bri._ You forget your self. + +_Mir._ Because h' has been at Court and learn'd new tongues, +And how to speak a tedious peece of nothing; +To vary his face as Seamen do their Compass, +To worship images of gold and silver, +And fall before the she Calves of the Season, +Therefore must he jump into his brothers land? + +_Bri._ Have you done yet, and have you spake enough, +In praise of learning, Sir? _Mir._ Never enough. + +_Bri._ But brother do you know what learning is? + +_Mir._ It is not to be a justice of Peace as you are, +And palter out your time ith' penal Statutes. +To heare the curious Tenets controverted +Between a Protestant Constable, and Jesuit Cobler, +To pick natural Philosophic out of bawdry, +When your Worship's pleas'd to correctifie a Lady; +Nor 'tis not the main moral of blinde Justice, +(Which is deep learning) when your worships Tenants +Bring a light cause, and heavie Hennes before yee, +Both fat and feesible, a Goose or Pig, +And then you sit like equity with both hands +Weighing indifferently the state oth' question. +These are your quodlibets, but no learning Brother. + +_Bri._ You are so parlously in love with learning, +That I'de be glad to know what you understand, brother. +I'me sure you have read all _Aristotle_. _Mir._ Faith no, +But I beleeve, I have a learned faith Sir, +And that's it makes a Gentleman of my sort; +Though I can speak no Greek I love the sound on't, +It goes so thundering as it conjur'd Devils. +_Charles_ speakes it loftily, and if thou wert a man, +Or had'st but ever heard of _Homers Iliads_, +_Hesiod_, and the Greek Poets, thou wouldst run mad, +And hang thy self for joy th' hadst such a Gentleman +To be thy son; O he has read such things +To me! _Bri._ And you do understand 'm Brother? + +_Mir._ I tell thee no, that's not material; the sound's +Sufficient to confirme an honest man: +Good brother _Brisac_, do's your young Courtier +That weares the fine cloathes, and is the excellent Gentleman, +(The Traveller, the Souldier, as you think too) +Understand any other power than his Taylor? +Or knowes what motion is more than an Horse race? +What the moon meanes, but to light him home from Taverns? +Or the comfort of the Sun is, but to weare slash't clothes in? +And must this peece of ignorance be popt up, +Because 't can Kisse the hand, and cry sweet Lady? +Say it had been at _Rome_, and seen the Reliques, +Drunk your _Verdea_ wine, and ridde at _Naples_, +Brought home a pox of _Venice_ treacle with it, +To cure young wenches that have eaten ashes: +Must this thing therefore?-- _Bri._ Yes Sir this thing must, +I will not trust my land to one so sotted, +So grown like a disease unto his studie; +He that will fling off all occasions +And cares, to make him understand what state is, +And how to govern it, must by that reason, +Be flung himself aside from managing: +My younger boy is a fine Gentleman. + +_Mir._ He is an asse, a peece of Ginger-bread, +Gilt over to please foolish girles puppets. + +_Bri._ You are my elder Brother. _Mir._ So I had need, +And have an elder wit, thou'dst shame us all else. +Go too, I say, _Charles_ shall inherit. _Bri._ I say no, +Unless _Charles_ had a soul to understand it; +Can he manage six thousand Crowns a yeare +Out of the Metaphysicks? or can all +His learn'd Astronomy look to my Vineyards? +Can the drunken old Poets make up my Vines? +(I know they can drinke 'm) or your excellent Humanists +Sell 'm the Merchants for my best advantage? +Can History cut my hay, or get my Corne in? +And can Geometrie vent it in the market? +Shall I have my sheepe kept with a _Jacobs_ staffe now? +I wonder you will magnifie this mad man, +You that are old and should understand. _Mir._ Should, sai'st thou, +Thou monstrous peece of ignorance in office! +Thou that hast no more knowledge than thy Clerk infuses, +Thy dapper Clerk larded with ends of Latin, +And he no more than custom of offences; +Thou unrepriveable Dunce! that thy formal band strings, +Thy Ring nor pomander cannot expiate for, +Do'st thou tell me I should? Ile pose thy Worship +In thine own Libraty an Almanack, +Which thou art dayly poring on to pick out +Dayes of iniquity to cozen fooles in, +And full Moones to cut Cattel; do'st thou taint me, +That have run over Story, Poetry, +Humanity? _Bri._ As a cold nipping shadow +Does ore eares of Corne, and leave 'em blasted, +Put up your anger, what Ile do Ile do. + +_Mir._ Thou shall not doe. _Bri._ I will. _Mir._ Thou art an Asse then, +A dull old tedious Asse, th['] art ten times worse +And of lesse credit than Dunce _Hollingshead_ +The Englishman, that writes of snowes and Sheriffes. + + _Enter_ Lewis. + +_Bri._ Wel take you pleasure, here's one I must talke with. + +_Lew._ Good day Sir. _Bri._ Faire to you Sir. _Lew._ May I speake w'ye? + +_Bri._ With all my heart, I was waiting on your goodness. + +_Lew._ Good morrow Mo[n]sieur _Miramont_. _Mir._ O sweet Sir, +Keep your good morrow to coole your Worships pottage, +A couple of the worlds fooles met together +To raise up dirt and dunghils. _Lew._ Are they drawne? + +_Bri._ They shall be ready Sir, within these two houres; +And _Charles_ set his hand. _Lew._ 'Tis necessary; +For he being a joint purchaser, though your state +Was got by your owne industrie, unlesse +He seale to the Conveyance, it can be +Of no validity. _Bri._ He shall be ready, +And do it willingly. _Mir._ He shall be hang'd first. + +_Bri._ I hope your daughter likes. _Lew._ S[h]e loves him well Sir. +Young _Eustace_ is a bait to catch a woman, +A budding spritely fellow; y'are resolved then, +That all shall passe from _Charles_. _Bri._ All all, hee's nothing, +A bunch of bookes shall be his patrimony, +And more then he can manage too. _Lew._ Will your brother +Passe over his land to, to your son _Eustace_? +You know he has no heire. _Mir._ He will be flead first, +And horse-collars made of 's skin! _Bri._ let him alone, +A wilful man; my state shall serve the turne, Sir. +And how does your Daughter? _Lew._ Ready for the houre, +And like a blushing Rose that staies the pulling. + +_Bri._ To morrow, then's the day. _Lew._ Why then to morrow +Ile bring the Girle; get you the Writings ready. + +_Mir._ But hark you Monsieur, have you the vertuous conscience +To help to robb an heire, an Elder Brother, +Of that which Nature and the Law flings on him? +You were your fathers eldest son, I take it, +And had his Land, would you had had his wit too, +Or his discretion to consider nobly, +What 'tis to deale unworthily in these things; +You'l say hee's none of yours, he's his son; +And he will say, he is no son to inherit +Above a shelfe of Bookes; Why did he get him? +Why was he brought up to write and reade, and know things? +Why was he not like his father, a dumbe Justice? +A flat dull peece of flegme, shap'd like a man, +A reverend Idoll in a peece of arras? +Can you lay disobedience, want of manners, +Or any capital crime to his charge? _Lew._ I doe not, +Nor do not weigh your words, they bite not me, Sir; +This man must answer. _Bri._ I have don't already. +And giv'n sufficient reason to secure me; +And so good morrow brother to your patience. + +_Lew._ Good morrow Monsieur Miramont. _Mir._ Good night-caps +Keepe braines warme, or Maggots will breed in 'm. +Well _Charles_, thou shall not want to buy thee bookes yet, +The fairest in thy study are my gift, +And the University _Lovaine_ for thy sake, +Hath tasted of my bounty, and to vex +Th' old doting foole thy father, and thy brother, +They shall not share a _Solz_ of mine between them; +Nay more, Ile give thee eight thousand Crowns a year, +In some high strain to write my Epitaph. + + + + +_Actus II. Scaena II._ + + + Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +How do I look now my elder Brother? +Nay, t'is a handsome Suit. _Cow._ All courtly, courtly. + +_Eust._ Ile assure ye Gentlemen, my Taylor has travail'd, +And speaks as lofty Language in his bills too; +The cover of an old Book would not shew thus. +Fye, fie; what things these Academicks are? +These book-worms, how they look! _Egr._ Th'are mere Images, +No gentle motion nor behaviour in 'm, +They'l prattle ye of _primum mobile_, +And tell a story of the state of Heaven, +What Lords and Ladies govern in such houses, +And what wonders they do when they meet together, +And how they spit snow, fire, and hail like a Jugler, +And make a noise when they are drunk, which we call Thunder. + +_Cow._ They are the sneaking'st things, and the contemptiblest; +Such small-beer brains, but aske 'em any thing +Out of the Element of their understanding, +And they stand gaping like a roasted Pig; +Do they know what a Court is or a Councel, +Or how th' affairs of Christendome are manag'd? +Do they know any thing but a tyred hackney? +And they cry absurd as the Horse understood 'em. +They have made a fair youth of your elder brother, +A pretty piece of flesh. _Eust._ I thank 'm for it, +Long may he study to give me his state. +Saw you my Mistress? _Egre._ Yes, shees a sweet young woman, +But be sure you keep her from Learning. _Eust._ Songs she +May have, and read a little unbak'd Poetry, +Such as the Dablers of our time contrive, +That has no weight nor wheel to move the mind, +Nor indeed nothing but an empty sound; +She shall have cloaths, but not made by Geometry; +Horses and Coach, but of no immortal race; +I will not have a Scholar in mine house +Above a gentle Reader; They corrupt +The foolish women with their subtle problems; +Ile have my house call'd Ignorance, to fright +Prating Philosophers from entertainment. + +_Cow._ It will do well, love those that love good fashions, +Good clothes and rich, they invite men to admire 'm, +That speak the lisp of Court. Oh 'tis great Learning! +To ride well, dance well, sing well, or whistle Courtly, +Th' are rare endowments; that they have seen far Countries, +And can speak strange things, though they speak no truths, +For then they make things common. When are you married? + +_Eust._ To morrow, I think, we must have a Masque Boyes, +And of our own making. _Egre._ 'Tis not half an houres work, +A _Cupid_ and a fiddle, and the thing's done, +But let's be handsome, shall's be Gods or Nymphs? + +_Eust._ What, Nymphs with beards? _Cow._ That's true, we'l be Knights +then, +Some wandring Knights, that light here on a sudden. + +_Eust._ Let's go, let's go, I must go visit, Gentlemen, +And mark what sweet lips I must kiss to morrow. _Exeunt._ + + +_Actus II. Scena III._ + + Cook, Andrew, Butler. + +And how do's my Master? _And._ Is at's book, peace Coxcomb, +That such an unlearn'd tongue as thine should ask for him! + +_Co._ Do's he not study conjuring too? _And._ Have you +Lost any Plate, _Butler_? _But._ No, but I know +I shall to morrow at dinner. _And._ Then to morrow +You shall be turn'd out of your place for't; we meddle +With no spirits oth' Buttry, they taste too small for us; +Keep me a Pye _in folio_, I beseech thee, +And thou shall see how learnedly Ile translate him; +Shalls have good cheer to morrow? _Coo. Ex._ Lent, good cheer _Andrew_. + +_And._ The spight on't is, that much about that time, +I shall be arguing, or deciding rather, +Which are the Males or Females of red Herrings +And whether they be taken in the red Sea onely, +A question found out by _Copernicus_, +The learned Motion-maker. _Co._ I marry _Butler_, +Here are rare things; a man that look'd upon him, +Would swear he understood no more than we do. + +_But._ Certain, a learned _Andrew_. _And._ I've so much on't +And am so loaden with strong understanding, +I fear, they'l run me mad, here's a new instrument, +A metamatical glister to purge the Moon with, +When she is laden with cold flegmatick humours, +And here's another to remove the Stars, +When they grow too thick in the Firmament. + +_Co._ O heavens! why do I labour out my life +In a beef-pot? and only search the secrets +Of a Sallad; and know no farther! _And._ They are not +Reveal'd to all heads; These are far above +Your Element of Fire. _Cooke._ I could tell you +Of _Archimides_ glass to fire your coals with, +And of the Philosophers turf that nere goes out; +And _Gilbert Butler_, I could ravish thee, +With two rare inventions. _But._ What are they _Andrew_? + +_And._ The one to blanch your bread from chippings base, +And in a moment, as thou wouldst an Almond, +The Sect of the Epicureans invented that; +The other for thy trenches, that's a strong one, +To cleanse you twenty dozen in a minute, +And no noise heard, which is the wonder _Gilbert_, +And this was out of _Plato's_ new _Idea's_. + +_But._ Why, what a learned Master do'st thou serve _Andrew_? + +_And._ These are but the scrapings of his understanding, _Gilbert_; +With gods and goddesses, and such strange people +He deals, and treats with in so plain a fashion, +As thou do'st with thy boy that drawes thy drink, +Or _Ralph_ there with his kitchin boyes and scalders. + +_Coo._ But why should he not be familiar and talk sometimes, +As other Christians do, of hearty matters, +And come into the Kitchin, and there cut his breakfast? + +_But._ And then retyre to the Buttry and there eat it, +And drink a lusty bowle to my younger Master +That must be now the heir will do all these, +I and be drunk too; These are mortal things. + +_And._ My Master studies immortality. _Coo._ Now thou talk'st +Of immortality, how do's thy wife _Andrew_? My old Master +Did you no small pleasure when he procur'd her +And stock'd you in a farme. If he should love her now, +As he hath a Colts tooth yet, what sayes your learning +And your strange instruments to that my _Andrew_? +Can any of your learned Clerks avoid it? +Can ye put by his Mathematical Engine? + +_And._ Yes, or Ile break it; thou awaken'st me, +And Ile peep ith' Moon this moneth but Ile watch for him. +My Master rings, I must go make him a fire, +And conjure ore his books. _Coo_. Adieu good _Andrew_, +And send thee manly patience with thy learning. _Exeu_. + + + + +_Actus II. Scaena IV._ + + + Charles. + +I have forgot to eat and sleep with reading, +And all my faculties turn into studie; +'Tis meat and sleep; what need I outward garments, +When I can cloathe my self with understanding? +The stars and glorious planets have no Taylors, +Yet ever new they are and shine like Courtiers. +The seasons of the yeare find no fond parents, +Yet some are arm'd in silver Ice that glisters, +And sovne in gawdy green come in like Masquers: +The Silk-worme spines her owne suit and her lodging, +And has no aid nor partner in her labours: +Why should we care for any thing but knowledge, +Or look upon the world but to contemne it? + + _Enter_ Andrew. + +Would you have any thing? _Cha. Andrew_, I find +There is a flie grown o're the eye oth' Bull, +Which will go neere to blind the Constellation. + +_And_. Put a gold-ring in's nose, and that will cure him. + +_Cha_. _Ariadne's_ crown's away too; two main starres +That held it fast are slip'd out. _And_. Send it presently +To _Gallatteo_ the Italian Star-wright +Hee'll set it right againe with little labour. + +_Cha_. Thou art a pretty Schollar. _And_. I hope I shall be; +Have I swept bookes so often to know nothing? + +_Cha_. I heare thou art married. _And_. It hath pleas'd your father +To match me to a maid of his owne choosing, +I doubt her constellation's loose too, and wants nailing, +And a sweet farme he has given us a mile off Sir. + +_Cha_. Marry thy selfe to understanding, _Andrew_, +These women are _Errata_ in all Authours, +They're faire to see to, and bound up in vellam, +Smooth, white and cleare, but their contents are monstrous; +They treat of nothing but dull age and diseases. +Thou hast not so much wit in thy head, as there is +On those shelves, _Andrew_. _And_. I think I have not Sir. + +_Cha_. No, if thou had'st thould'st nere marryed a woman +In thy bosome, they're Cataplasmes made oth' deadly sins: +I nere saw any yet but mine own mother; +Or if I did, I did regard them but +As shadowes that passe by of under Creatures. + +_And_. Shall I bring you one? lie trust you with my owne wife; +I would not have your brother go beyond ye; +Th'are the prittiest natural Philosophers to play with. + +_Cha_. No, no, th'are Opticks to delude mens eyes with. +Does my younger brother speake any Greek yet, _Andrew_? + +_And_. No, but he speaks High Dutch, and that goes as daintily. + +_Cha_. Reach me the bookes down I read yesterday, +And make a little fire and get a manchet; +Make cleane those instruments of brass I shew'd you, +And 'set the great Sphere by, then take the fox tayle +And purg the bookes from dust, last take your _Lilly_, +And get your part ready. _And_. Shall I go home Sir? +My wives name is _Lilly_, there my best part lyes, Sir. + +_Cha_. I mean your Gammer, O thou dunderhead! +Would'st thou be ever in thy wives Syntaxis? +Let me have no noise nor nothing to disturb me, +I am to find a secret. _And_. So am I too, +Which if I you find, I shall make some smart for't.-- _Exeunt_. + + + + +_Actus_ 3. _Scena_ 1. + + + Lewis, Angellina; Sylvia, Notary. + +This is the day my daughter _Angellina_, +The happy, that must make you a fortune, +A large and full one, my great care has wrought it, +And yours must be as great to entertaine it; +Young _Eustace_ is a Gentleman at all points, +And his behaviour affable and courtly, +His person excellent, I know you find that, +I read it in your eyes, you like his youth, +Young handsome people should be match'd together, +Then followes handsome Ch[i]ldren, handsome fortunes; +The most part of his fathers state, my Wench, +Is ti'd in a joynture, that makes up the harmony; +And when y'are marryed. he's of that soft temper, +And so far will be chain'd to your observance, +That you may rule and turne him as you please. +What are the writings drawn on our side, Sir? + +_Not_. They are, and here I have so fetter'd him, +That if the Elder Brother set his hand to, +Not all the power of law shall ere release him. + +_Lew_. These Notaries are notable confident Knaves, +And able to doe more mischeife than an Army: +Are all your clauses sure? _Not_. Sure as proportion, +They may turne Rivers sooner than these writings. + +_Not_. Why did you not put all the lands in, Sir? + +_Lew_. Twas not condition'd. _Not_. If it had been found, +It had been but a fault made in the writing; +If not found all the Land. _Lew_. These are small Devils +That care not who has misch[ie]fe, so they make it; +They live upon the meere scent of dissension. +Tis well, tis well, Are you contented Girle? +For your wil must be known. _Ang_. A husband's welcom, +And as an humble wife He entertaine him, +No soveraignty I aime at, 'tis the mans Sir, +For she that seekes it, killes her husbands Honour: +The Gentleman I have scene, and well observ'd him, +Yet find not that grac'd excellence you promise, +A pretty Gentle man and he may please too, +And some few flashes I have hear'd come from him, +But not to admiration as to others; +Hee's young and may be good, yet he must make it, +And I may help, and help to thank him also. +It is your pleasure I should make him mine, +And't has beene still my duty to observe you. + +_Lew_. Why then let's go, And I shall love your modesty. +To horse, and bring the Coach out _Angellina_, +To morrow you will looke more womanly. + +_Ang_. So I looke honestly, I feare no eyes, Sir. _Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus III. Scaena II._ + + + Brisac, Andrew, Cooke, Lilly. + +Wait on your Master, he shall have that befits him; + +_And_. No inheritance, Sir? _Bri_. You speak like a foole, a coxcomb, +He shall have annual meanes to buy him bookes, +And find him cloathes and meat, what would he more? +Trouble him with Land? tis flat against his nature: +I love him too, and honour those gifts in him. + +_And_. Shall Master _Eustace_ have all? _Bri_. All, all, he knowes how +To use it, hee's a man bred in the world, +T'other ith' heavens: my Masters, pray be wary, +And serviceable; and Cooke see all your sawces +Be sharp and poynant in the pallat, that they may +Commend you; looke to your roast and bak'd meates hansomly, +And what new kickshawes and delicate made things-- +Is th' musick come? _But_. Yes Sir, th'are here at breakfast. + +_Bri_. There will be a Masque too, you must see this roome clean, +And _Butler_ your doore open to all good fellowes, +But have an eye to your plate, for their be Furies; +My _Lilly_ welcome, you are for the linnen, +Sort it, and see it ready for the table, +And see the bride-bed made, and looke the cords be +Not cut asunder by the Gallants too, +There be such knacks abroad; hark hither, _Lilly_, +To morrow night at twelve a clock, Ile suppe w'ye, +Your husband shall be safe, Ile send ye meat too, +Before I cannot well slip from my company. + +_And_. Will ye so, will you so, Sir? Ile make one to eate it, +I may chance make you stagger too. _Bri_. No answer, _Lilly_? + +_Lil_. One word about the linnen; Ile be ready, +And rest your worships still. _And_. And Ile rest w'yee, +You shall see what rest 'twill be: Are ye so nimble? +A man had need have ten paire of eares to watch you. + +_Bri_. Wait on your Master, for I know he wants ye, +And keep him in his studie, that the noise +Do not molest him: I will not faile my _Lilly_-- +Come in sweet hearts, all to their several duties. _Exeunt._ + +_And_. are you kissing ripe, Sir? Double but my farm +And kisse her till thy heart ake; these smocke vermin, +How eagerly they leap at old mens kisses, +They lick their lipps at profit, not at pleasure; +And if't were not for th' scurvie name of Cuckold, +He should lye with her, I know shee'l labour at length +With a good lordship. If he had a wife now, +But that's all one, lie fit him: I must up +Unto my Master, hee'l be mad with studie-- _Exit_. + + + + +_Actus III_. _Scoena III_. + + + Charles. + +What a noise is in this house, my head is broken, +Within a Parenthesis, in every corner, +As if the earth were shaken with some strange Collect, +There are stirres and motions. What Planet rules this house? + + _Enter_ Andrew. + +Who's there? _And_. Tis I Sir faithful _Andrew_. _Cha_. Come neere +And lay thine eare downe, hear'st no noise? _And_. The Cookes +Are chopping hearbs and mince meat to make pies, +And breaking Marrow-bones-- _Char_. Can they set them againe? + +_And_. Yes, yes, in brothes and puddings, and they grow stronger +For the' use of any man. _Cha_. What speaking's that? +Sure there is a massacre. _And_. Of Pigs and Geese Sir, +And Turkeys for the spit. The Cookes are angry Sirs, +And that makes up the medly. _Cha_. Do they thus +At every dinner? I nere mark'd them yet, +Nor know who is a Cook. _And_. Th'are sometimes sober, +And then they beat as gently as a Tabor. + +_Char_. What loads are these? _Andr_. Meat, meat, Sir, for the Kitchin, +And stinking Fowles the Tenants have sent in; +They'l nere be found out at a general eating; +And there's fat Venison, Sir. _Cha_. What's that? _And_. Why Deer, +Those that men fatten for their private pleasures, +And let their tenants starve upon the Commons. + +_Char_. I've red of Deer, but yet I nere eat any. + +_And_. There's a Fishmongers boy with Caviar Sir, +Anchoves and Potargo, to make ye drink. + +_Cha_. Sure these are modern, very modern meats, +For I understand 'm not. _And_. No more do's any man +From Caca merda or a substance worse, +Till they be greas'd with oyle, and rub'd with onions, +And then flung out of doors, they are rare Sallads. + +_Cha_. And why is all this, prithee tell me Andrew! +Are there any Princes to dine here to day? +By this abundance sure there should be Princes; +I've read of entertainment for the gods +At half this charge, will not six dishes serve 'em? +I never had but one, and that a small one. + +_And_. Your Brother's married this day, he's married, +Your younger brother Eustace. _Cha_. What of that? + +_And_. And all the friends about are bidden hither. +There's not a dog that knowes the house but comes too. + +_Cha_. Married? to whom? _And_. Why to a dainty Gentlewoman, +Young, sweet, and modest. _Cha_. Are there modest women? +How do they look? _And_. O you'ld blesse your self to see them. +He parts with's book, he nere did so before yet. + +_Cha_. What do's my father for 'm? _And_. Gives all his Land, +And makes your brother Heir. _Cha_. Must I have nothing? + +_And_. Yes, you must study still, and he'l maintain you. + +_Cha_. I am his eldest brother. _And_. True, you were so, +But he has leapd ore your shoulders, Sir. _Cha_. 'Tis wel, +He'l not inherit my understanding too? + +_And_. I think not, he'l scarce find tenants to let it +Out to. _Cha_. Hark, hark. _Andr_. The Coach that brings the fair +Lady. + + _Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, _Ladies_, Notary, &c. + +_And_. Now you may see her. _Cha_. Sure this should be modest; +But I do not truly know what women make of it, +_Andrew_; She has a face looks like a story, +The storie of the Heavens looks very like her. + +_And_. She has a wide face then. _Cha_. She has a Cheiubins, +Cover'd and vail'd with modest blushes. +_Eustace_ be happy, whiles poor _Charles_ is patient. +Get me my book again, and come in with me-- _Exeunt_. + + _Enter_ Brisac, Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy, Miramont. + +_Bri_. Welcome sweet Daughter, welcome noble Brother, +And you are welcome Sir, with all your writings, +Ladies most welcome; What? my angry brother! +You must be welcome too, the Feast is flat else. + +_Mir_. I am not come for your welcome, I expect none; +I bring no joyes to blesse the bed withal; +Nor songs, nor Masques to glorifie the Nuptials, +I bring an angrie mind to see your folly, +A sharp one too, to reprehend you for it. + +_Bri_. You'l stay and dine though? _Mir_. All your meat smells mustie, +Your table will shew nothing to content me. + +_Bri_. Ile answer you, here's good meat. _Mira_. But your sawce is +scurvie; +It is not season'd with the sharpness of discretion. + +_Eust_. It seems your anger is at me, dear Uncle. + +_Mir_. Thou art not worth my anger, th'art a boy, +A lump o' thy fathers lightness, made of nothing +But antick cloaths and cringes; look in thy head, +And 'twill appear a footbal full of fumes +And rotten smoke; Ladie, I pitie you; +You are a handsome and a sweet young Ladie, +And ought to have a handsome man yoak'd t'ye, +An understanding too; this is a Gincrack, +That ca[n] get nothing but new fashions on you; +For say he have a thing shap'd like a child, +'Twill either prove a tumbler or a tailor. + +_Eust_. These are but harsh words Uncle. _Mir_. So I mean 'em. +Sir, you play harsher play w' your elder brother. + +_Eust_. I would be loth to give you. _Mi_. Do not venter, +Ile make your wedding cloaths fit closer t'ee then; +I but disturb you, lie go see my nephew: + +_Lew_. Pray take a piece of rosemarie. _Mir_. Ile wear it, +But for the Ladies sake, and none of yours; +May be Ile see your table too. _Bri_. Pray do, Sir. + +_Ang_. A mad old Gentleman. _Bri_. Yes faith sweet daughter, +He has been thus his whole age to my knowledge, +He has made _Charles_ his heir, I know that certainly; +Then why should he grudge _Eustace_ any thing? + +_Ang_. I would not have a light head, nor one laden +With too much learning, as they say, this _Charles_ is, +That makes his book his Mistress: Sure, there's something +Hid in this old mans anger, that declares him +Not a mere Sot. _Bri_. Come shall we go and seal brother? +All things are readie, and the [P]riest is here. +When _Charles_ has set his hand unto the Writings, +As he shall instantly, then to the Wedding, +And so to dinner. _Lew_. Come, let's seal the book first +For my daughters Jointure. _Bri_. Let's be private in't Sir. _Exeunt_. + + + + +_Actus III. Scaena IV_. + + _Enter_ Charles, Miramont, Andrew. + +_Mir_. Nay, y'are undone. _Cha_. hum. _Mira_. Ha' ye no greater feeling? + +_And_. You were sensible of the great b[oo]ke, Sir, +When it fell on your head, and now the house +Is ready to fall, Do you feare nothing? _Cha_. Will +He have my bookes too? _Mir_. No, he has a book, +A faire one too to read on, and read wonders, +I would thou hadst her in thy studie Nephew, +And 'twere but to new string her. _Cha_. Yes, I saw her, +And me though[t] 'twas a curious peece of learning, +Handsomely bound, and of a daintly letter. + +_And_. He flung away his booke. _Mir_. I like that in him, +Would he had flung away his dulness too, +And speak to her. _Cha_. And must my brother have all? + +_Mir_. All that your father has. _Cha_. And that faire woman too? + +_Mir_. That woman also. _Cha_. He has enough then +May I not see her somtimes, and call her Sister? +I will doe him no wrong. _Mir_. This makes me mad +I could now cry for anger; these old fooles +Are the most stubborn and the wilfullest Coxcombs-- +Farewil, and fall to your booke, forget your brother; +You are my heire, and Ile provide y'a wife; +Ile looke upon this marriage, though I hate it. _Exit_. + + _Enter_ Brisac. + +Where is my son? _And_. There Sir, casting a figure +What chopping children his brother shall have. + +_Bri_. He do's well; How do'st _Charles_? still at thy book? + +_And_. Hee's studying now Sir, who shall be his father. + +_Bri_. Peace you rude Knave--Come hither _Charles_ be merry. + +_Cha_. I thank you, I am busie at my book, Sir. + +_Bri._ You must put your hand my _Charles_, as I would have you +Unto a little peece of parchment here; +Onely your name, you write a reasonable hand. + +_Cha_. But I may do unreasonably to write it. +What is it Sir? _Bri_. To passe the Land I have, Sir, +Unto your younger brother. _Cha_. Is't no more? + +_Bri_. No, no, 'tis nothing; you shall be provided for, +And new bookes you shall have still, and new studies, +And have your meanes brought in without thy care boy, +And one still to attend you. _Cha_. This shewes your love father. + +_Bri_. I'm tender to you. _And_. Like a stone, I take it. + +_Cha_. Why father, Ile go downe, an't please you let me, +Because Ide see the thing they call the Gentlewoman, +I see no woman but through contemplation, +And there Ile doe't before the company, +And wish my brother fortune. _Bri_. Doe I prithee. + +_Cha_. I must not stay, for I have things above +Require my study. _Bri_. No, thou shalt not stay, +Thou shalt have a brave dinner too. _And_. Now has he +Orethrowne himselfe for ever; I will down +Into the Celler, and be stark drunk for anger. _Exeunt_. + + + +_Actus III. Scaena V._ + + _Enter_ Lewis, Angellina, Eustace, _Priest, Ladies_, Cowsy, + _Notary_, Miramont. + +_Not_. Come let him bring his sons hand, and all's done. +Is yours ready? _Pr_. Yes Ile dispatch ye presently, +Immediately for in truth I am a hungry. + +_Eust_. Doe speak apace, for we believe exactly +Doe not we stay long Mistris? _Ang_. I find no fault, +Better things well done than want time to doe them. +Uncle, why are you sad? _Mir_. Sweet smelling blossome, +Would I were thine Uncle to thine owne content, +Ide make thy husbands state a thousand, better +A yearlie thousand, thou hast mist a man, +(But that he is addicted to his studie, +And knowes no other Mistresse than his minde) +Would weigh down bundles of these emptie kexes. + +_Ang_. Can he speak, Sir? _Mir_. Faith yes, but not to women: +His language is to heaven, and heavenlie wonder, +To Nature, and her dark and secret causes. + +_Ang_. And does he speak well there? _Mir_. O, admirably; +But hee's to bashful too behold a woman, +There's none that sees him, nor he troubles none. + +_Ang_. He is a man. _Mir_. Faith Yes, and a cleare sweet spirit. + +_Ang_. Then conversation me thinkes-- _Mir_. So think I +But it is his rugged fate, and so I leave you. + +_Ang_. I like thy noblenesse. _Eust_. See my mad Uncle +Is courting my faire Mistresse. _Lew_. Let him alone, +There's nothing that allayes an angrie mind +So soone as a sweet beautie; hee'l come to us. + + _Enter_ Brisac, Charles. + +_Eust_. My father's here, my brother too! that's a wonder, +Broke like a spirit from his Cell. _Bri_. Come hither, +Come neerer _Charles_; 'Twas your desire to see +My noble Daughter, and the company, +And give your brother joy, and then to seal boy. +You doe like a good brother. _Lew._ Marry do's he +And he shall have my love for ever for't. +Put to your hand now. _Not._ Here's the Deed Sir, ready. + +_Cha._ No, you must pardon me a while, I tell ye, +I am in contemplation, doe not trouble me. + +_Bri._ Come, leave thy studie, _Charles_. _Cha._ Ile leave my life first; +I studie now to be a man, I've found it. +Before, what man was, was but my argument. + +_Mir._ I like this best of all, he has taken fire, +His dull mist flies away. _Eust._ Will you write brother? + +_Cha._ No, brother no, I have no time for poore things, +I'm taking th' height of that bright Constellation. + +_Bri._ I say, you trifle time, Son. _Cha._ I will not seale, Sir; +I am your eldest, and Ile keepe my birthright, +For heaven forbid I should become example; +Had y'onely shew'd me Land, I had deliver'd it, +And been a proud man to have parted with it; +Tis dirt, and labour; Doe I speak right Uncle? + +_Mir._ Bravely my boy, and blesse thy tongue. _Char._ Ile forward, +But you have open'd to me such a treasure, +I find my mind free, heaven direct my fortune. + +_Mir._ Can he speak now? Is this a son to sacrifice? + +_Cha._ Such an inimitable piece of beauty +That I have studyed long, and now found onely, +That Ile part sooner with my soul of reason, +And be a plant, a beast, a fish, a flie, +And onely make the number of things up +Than yeeld one foot of Land, if she be ty'd to't. + +_Lew._ He speakes unhappily. _Aug._ and me thinkes bravely. +This the meere Schollar? _Eust._ You but vexe your selfe brother +And vex your studie too. _Cha._ Go you and studie, +For 'ts time young _Eustace_, you want both man and manners, +I've studied both, although I made no shew on't. +Goe turne the Volumes over I have read, +Eate and digest them, that they may grow in thee, +Weare out the tedious night with thy dimme Lampe, +And sooner lose the day than leave a doubt. +Distil the sweetness from the Poets Spring, +And learne to love, Thou know'st not what faire is, +Traverse the stories of the great Heroes, +The wise and civill lives of good men walke through; +Thou hast scene nothing but the face of Countries, +And brought home nothing but their empty words: +Why should'st thou weare a Jewel of this worth? +That hast no worth within thee to preserve her. + + _Beauty cleere and faire, + where the aire + Rather like a perfume dwells, + Where the violet and the rose + The blew veines in blush disclose, + And come to honour nothing else. + + Where to live neere, + And planted there, + Is to live, and still live new; + Where to gain a favour is + More then light, perpetual blisse, + Make me live by serving you. + + Deare again backe recal + to this light, + A stranger to himselfe and all; + Both the wonder and the story + Shall be yours, and eke the Glory, + I am your servant, and your thrall._ + +_Mir._ Speake such another Ode, and take all yet. +What say ye to the Scholar now? _Ang._ I wonder; +Is he your brother, Sir? _Bust._ Yes, would he were buried, +I feare hee'l make an asse of me a younger. + +_Ang._ Speake not so softly Sir, tis very likely. + +_Bri._ Come leave your finical talke, and let's dispatch, _Charles_. + +_Cha._ Dispatch? What? _Bri._ Why the land. _Cha._ You are deceiv'd, Sir, +Now I perceive what 'tis that woes a woman, +And what maintaines her when shee's woo'd: Ile stop here. +A wilfull poverty nere made a beauty, +Nor want of meanes maintain'd it vertuously: +Though land and monies be no happinesse, +Yet they are counted good additions. +That use Ile make; He that neglects a blessing, +Though he want present knowledge how to use it, +Neglects himself; May be I have done you wrong Lady, +Whose love and hope went hand in hand together; +May be my brother, that has long expected +The happie houre and blest my ignorance; +Pray give me leave Sir, I shall cleare all doubts. +Why did they shew me you? Pray tell me that? + +(_Mir._ Hee'l talke thee into a pension for thy knaverie) + +_Cha._ You happie you, why did you breake unto me? +The rosie sugred morne nere broke so sweetly: +I am a man, and have desires within me, +Affections too, though they were drown'd a while, +And lay dead, till the Spring of beautie rais'd them; +Till I saw those eyes, I was but a lump; +A Chaos of confusedness dwelt in me; +Then from those eyes shot Love, and he distinguisht, +And into forme he drew my faculties; +And now I know my Land, and now I love too. + +_Bri._ We had best remove the Maide. _Cha._ It is too late Sir. +I have her figure here. Nay frowne not _Eustace_, +There are lesse worthie soules for younger brothers; +This is no forme of silk but sanctitie, +Which wilde lascivious hearts can never dignifie. +Remove her where you will, I walk along still; +For like the light we make no separation; +You may sooner part the billowes of the Sea, +And put a barre betwixt their fellowships, +Than blot out my remembrance; sooner shut +Old time into a Den, and stay his motion, +Wash off the swift houres from his downie wings, +Or steale eternitie to stop his glasse, +Than shut the sweet Idea I have in me. +Roome for an elder brother, pray give place, Sir. + +_Mir._ Has studied duel too, take heed, hee'l beat thee. +Has frighted the old Justice into a fever; +I hope hee'l disinherit him too for an asse; +For though he be grave with yeeres, hee's a great babie. + +_Cha._ Doe not you think me mad? _Ang._ No certain, Sir, +I have heard nothing from you but things excellent. + +_Cha._ You looke upon my cloathes and laugh at me, +My scurvie clothes! _Ang._ They have rich linings Sir. +I would your brother-- _Cha._ His are gold and gawdie. + +_Ang._ But touch 'em inwardlie, they smell of Copper. + +_Cha._ Can ye love me? I am an heire, sweet Ladie, +How ever I appeare a poore dependant; +Love you with honour, I shall love so ever; +Is your eye ambitious? I may be a great man. +Is't wealth or lands you covet? my father must dye. + +_Mir._ That was well put in, I hope hee'l take it deepely. + +_Cha._ Old men are not immortal, as I take it; +Is it, you looke for, youth and handsomness? +I doe confess my brother's a handsome Gentleman, +But he shall give me leave to lead the way Ladie, +Can you love for love, and make that the reward? +The old man shall not love his heapes of gold +With a more doting superstition, +Than Ile love you. The young man his delights, +The merchant when he ploughs the angrie sea up, +And sees the mountaine billows failling on him, +As if all Elements, and all their angers +Were turn'd into one vow'd destruction; +Shall not with greater joy embrace his safetie. +Wee'l live together like two wanton Vines, +Circling our soules and loves in one another, +Wee'l spring together and weel beare one fruit; +One joy shall make us smile, and one griefe mourne; +One age go with us, and one houre of death +Shall shut our eyes, and one grave make us happie. + +_Ang._ And one hand scale the match, Ime yours for ever. + +_Lew._ Nay, stay, stay, stay. _Ang._ Nay certainly, tis done Sir. + +_Bri._ There was a contract. _Ang._ Onely conditional, +That if he had the Land, he had my love too; +This Gentleman's the heire, and hee'll maintaine it. +Pray be not angrie Sir at what I say; +Or if you be, tis at your owne adventure. +You have the out side of a pretty Gentleman, +But by my troth you[r] inside is but barren; +Tis not a face I onely am in love with, +Nor will I say your face is excellent, +A reasonable hunting face to Court the winde with; +Nor th'are not words unlesse they be well plac'd too, +Nor your sweete Dam-mes, nor your hired verses, +Nor telling me of Cloathes, nor Coach and horses, +No nor your visits each day in new suites, +Nor you[r] black patches you weare variouslie, +Some cut like starres, some in halfe Moones, some Lozenges, +(All which but shew you still a younger brother.) + +_Mir._ Gramercie Wench, thou hast a noble soule too. + +_Ang._ Nor you[r] long travailes, not your little knowledge, +Can make me doate upon you. Faith goe studie, +And gleane some goodness, that you may shew manlie; +Your Brother at my suit Ime sure will teach you; +Or onely studie how to get a wife Sir, +Y'are cast far behind, tis good you should be melancholie, +It shewes like a Gamester that had lost his money, +And t'is the fashon to weare your arme in a skarfe Sir, +For you have had a shrewd cut ore the fingers. + +_Lew._ But are y' in earnest? _Ang._ Yes, beleeve me father, +You shall nere choose for me, y'are old and dim Sir, +And th' shaddow of the earth ecclips'd your judgement, +Y'have had your time without controwle deare father, +And you must give me leave to take mine now Sir. + +_Bri._ This is the last time of asking, Will you set your hand to? + +_Cha._ This is the last time of answering, I will never. + +_Bris._ Out of my doores. _Char._ Most willingly. _Miram._ He shall Jew, +Thou of the Tribe of _Man-y-asses_ Coxcombe, +And never trouble thee more till thy chops be cold foole. + +_Ang._ Must I be gone too? _Lew._ I will never know thee. + +_Ang._ Then this man will; what fortune he shall run, father, +Bee't good or bad, I must partake it with him. + + _Enter_ Egremont. + +When shall the Masque begins? _Eust._ Tis done alreadie, +All, all, is broken off, I am undone friend, +My brother's wise againe, and has spoil'd all, +Will not release the land, has wone the Wench too. + +_Egre._ Could he not stay till th' Masque was past? W'are ready. +What a skirvie trick's this? _Mir._ O you may vanish, +Performe it at some Hall, where the Citizens wives +May see't for six pence a peece, and a cold supper. +Come let's goe _Charles_; And now my noble Daughter, +Ile sell the tiles of my house ere thou shall want Wench. +Rate up your dinner Sir, and sell it cheape, +Some younger brother will take 't up in commodities. +Send you joy, Nephew _Eustace_, if you studie the Law, +Keep your great pippin-pies, they'l goe far with ye. + +_Cha._ Ide have your blessing. _Bri._ No, no, meet me no more, +Farewell, thou wilt blast mine eyes else. _Cha._ I will not. + +_Lew._ Nor send not you for Gownes. _Ang._ Ile weare course flannel first. + +_Bri._ Come let's goe take some counsel. _Lew._ Tis too late. + +_Bri._ Then stay and dine, It may be we shall vexe 'em. _Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus 4. Scaena 1._ + + + _Enter_ Brisac, Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +Nere talke to me, you are no men but Masquers, +Shapes, shadowes, and the signes of men, Court bubbles, +That every breath or breakes or blowes away, +You have no soules, no metal in your bloods, +No heat to stir ye when ye have occasion, +Frozen dull things that must be turn'd with leavers; +Are you the Courtiers and the travail'd Gallants? +The spritely fellowes, that the people talk of? +Ye have no more Spirit than three sleepy sops. + +_Eust._ What would ye have me doe, Sir? _Bri._ Follow your brother, +And get ye out of doores, and seeke your fortune, +Stand still becalm'd, and let an aged Dotard, +A haire-brain'd puppie, and a bookish boy, +That never knew a blade above a penknife, +And how to cut his meat in Characters, +Crosse my designe, and take thine owne Wench from thee, +In mine owne house too? Thou dispis'd poore fellow! + +_Eust._ The reverence that I ever bare to you Sir, +Then to my Uncle, with whom't had been but sawcinesse +T'have been so rough-- _Egre._ And we not seeing him +Strive in his owne cause, that was principal, +And should have led us on, thought it ill manners +To begin a quarrel here. _Bri._ You dare doe nothing. +Doe you make your care the excuse of your cowardlinesse? +Three boyes on hobbie-horses with three penny halberts, +Would beat you all. _Cow._ You must not say so. _Bri._ Yes, +And sing it too. _Cow._ You are a man of peace, +Therefore we must give way. _Bri._ Ile make my way; +And therefore quickly leave me, or Ile force you; +And having first torne off your flaunting feathers, +Ile tramble on 'em; and if that cannot teach you +To quit my house, Ile kick ye out of my gates; +You gawdie glow-wormes carrying seeming fire, +Yet have no heat within ye. _Cow._ O blest travaile! +How much we owe thee for our power to suffer? + +_Egre._ Some spleenative youths now that had never seen +More than thy Countrie smoak, will grow in choler. +It would shew fine in us. _Eust._ Yes marry would it, +That are prime Courtiers, and must know no angers, +But give thankes for our injuries, if we purpose +To hold our places. _Bri._ Will you find the doore? +And finde it suddenlie, you shall lead the way, Sir, +With your perfum'd retinew, and cover +The now lost _Angellina_, or build on it, +I will adopt some beggers doubtful issue +Before thou shall inherit. _Eust._ Wee'l to councel, +And what may be done by mans wit or valour +Wee'l put in execution. _Bri._ Doe, or never +Hope I shall know thee. _Le._ O Sir, have I found you? [_Exeunt._ + _Ent. Lewis._ + +_Bri._ I never hid my selfe, whence flows this fury? +With which as it appeares, you come to fright me. + +_Lew._ I smell a plot, meere conspiracy +Among ye all to defeate me of my daughter, +And if she be not suddenly delivered, +Untainted in her reputation too, +The best of France shall know how I am juggled with. +She is my heire, and if she may be ravisht +Thus from my care, farewel Nobilitie; +Honour and blood are meer neglected nothings. + +_Bri._ Nay then, my Lord you go too far, and tax him +Whose innocencie understands not what feare is; +If your unconstant daughter will not dwell +On certainties, must you thenceforth conclude, +That I am fickle? What have I omitted, +To make good my integritie and truth? +Nor can her lightnesse, nor your supposition +Cast an aspersion on me. _Lew._ I am wounded +In fact, nor can words cure it: doe not trifle, +But speedilie, once more I doe repeate it, +Restore my daughter as I brought her hither. +Or you shall heare from me in such a kinde, +As you will blush to answer. _Bri._ all the world +I think conspires to vex me, yet I will not +Torment my selfe; some spriteful mirth must banish +The rage and melancholie which hath almost choak'd me, +T'a knowing man tis Physick, and tis thought on, +One merrie houre Ile have in spight of fortune, +To cheare my heart, and this is that appointed, +This night Ile hugge my _Lilly_ in mine armes, +Provocatives are sent before to cheare me; +We old men need 'em, and though we pay deare, +For our stolne pleasures, so it be done securely; +The charge much like a sharp sawce gives 'm relish. +Well honest _Andrew_, I gave you a farme, +And it shall have a beacon to give warning +To my other Tenants when the Foe approaches; +And presently, you being bestowed else where, +Ile graffe it with dexteritie on your forehead; +Indeed I will _Lilly_. I come poore _Andrew_. _Exit._ + + + + +_Actus IV. Scaena II._ + + _Enter_ Miramont, Andrew. + +Do they chafe roundly? _And._ As they were rubb'd with soap, Sir, +And now they sweare alowd, now calme again, +Like a ring of bells whose sound the wind still alters, +And then they sit in councel what to doe, +And then they jar againe what shall be done; +They talke of Warrants from the Parliament, +Complaints to the King, and forces from the Province, +They have a thousand heads in a thousand minutes, +Yet nere a one head worth a head of garlick. + +_Mir._ Long may they chafe, and long may we laugh at 'em, +A couple of pure puppies yok'd together. +But what sayes the young Courtier Master _Eustace_, +And his two warlike friends? _And._ They say but little, +How much they think I know not; they looke ruefully, +As if they had newly come from a vaulting house, +And had beene quite shot through 'tween winde and water +By a she Dunkirke, and had sprung a leake, Sir. +Certaine my master was too blame. _Mir._ Why _Andrew_? + +_And._ To take away the Wench oth' sudden from him, +And give him no lawful warning, he is tender; +And of a young girles constitution, Sir, +Readie to get the greene sickness with conceit; +Had he but tane his leave innavailing language, +Or bought an Elegie of his condolement, +That th' world might have tane notice, he had beene +An Asse, 't had beene some favour. _Mir._ Thou sayest true, +Wise _Andrew_, but these Schollars are such things +When they can prattle. _And._ Very parlous things Sir. + +_Mir._ And when they gaine the Libertie to distinguish +The difference 'twixt a father and a foole, +To looke below and spie a younger brother +Pruning up and dressing up his expectations +In a rare glasse of beauty, too good for him: +Those dreaming Scholars then turne Tyrants, _Andrew_, +And shew no mercy. _And._ The more's the pittie, Sir. + +_Mir._ Thou told'st me of a trick to catch my brother, +And anger him a little farther, _Andrew_, +It shall be onely anger I assure thee, +And little shame. _And._ And I can fit you, Sir; +Hark in your eare. _Mir._ Thy wife? _And._ So I assure ye; +This night at twelve a clock. _Mir._ Tis neat and handsome; +There are twentie Crownes due to thy project _Andrew_; +I've time to visit _Charles_, and see what Lecture +He reades to his Mistresse. That done, Ile not faile +To be with you. _And._ Nor I to watch my Master-- _Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus IV. Scaena III._ + + Angellina, Sylvia, _with a taper._ + +I'me worse than ere I was; for now I feare, +That that I love, that that I onely dote on; +He followes me through every roome I passe, +And with a strong set eye he gazes on me, +As if his spark of innocence were blowne +Into a flame of lust; Vertue defend me. +His Uncle to is absent, and 'tis night; +And what these opportunities may teach him-- +What feare and endlesse care tis to be honest! +To be a maide, what miserie, what mischiefe! +Would I were rid of it, so it were fairlie. + +_Syl._ You need not feare that, will you be a childe still? +He followes you, but still to looke upon you; +Or if he did desire to lie with ye, +Tis but your owne desire, you love for that end; +Ile lay my life, if he were now abed w'ye, +He is so modest, he would fall a sleepe straight. + +_Ang_. Dare you venter that? _Syl_. Let him consent, and have at ye; +I feare him not, he knowes not what a woman is, +Nor how to find the mysterie men aime at. +Are you afraid of your own shadow, Madam? + +_Ang_. He followes still, yet with a sober face; +Would I might know the worst, and then I were satisfied. + +_Syl_. You may both, and let him but goe with ye. + +_Cha_. Why doe you fle me? What have I so ill +About me or within me to deserve it? + +_Ang_. I am going to bed Sir. _Cha_. And I am come to light ye; +I am a maide, and 'tis a maidens office. + +_Ang_. You may have me to bed Sir, without a scruple, +And yet I am charie too who comes about me. +Two Innocents should not feare one another. + +_Syl_. The Gentleman sayes true. Pluck up your heart, Madam. + +_Cha_. The glorious Sun both rising and declining +We boldly looke upon; even then sweet Ladie, +When like a modest bride he drawes nights curtaines, +Even then he blushes, that men should behold him. + +_Ang_. I feare he will perswade me to mistake him. + +_Syl_. Tis easily done, if you will give your minde to't. + +_Ang_. Pray ye to your bed. _Cha_. Why not to yours, dear Mistress, +One heart and one bed. _Ang_. True Sir, when 'tis lawful; +But yet you know-- _Cha_. I would not know, forget it; +Those are but sickly loves that hang on Ceremonie, +Nurst up with doubts and feares, ours high and healthful, +Full of beleefe, and fit to teach the Priest; +Love shall seale first, then hands confirme the bargaine. + +_Ang_. I shall be an Heretique if this continue. +What would you doe a bed? you make me blush, Sir. + +_Cha_. Ide see you sleepe, for sure your sleepes are excellent +You that are waking such a noted wonder, +Must in your slumber prove an admiration: +I would behold your dreames too, if't were possible; +Those were rich showes. _Ang_. I am becomming Traitor. + +_Cha_. Then like blew _Neptune_ courting of an Hand, +Where all the perfumes and the pretious things +That wait upon great Nature are laid up, +Ide clip it in mine armes, and chastly kiss it, +Dwell in your bosome like your dearest thoughts, +And sigh and weepe. _Ang_. I've too much woman in me. + +_Cha_. And those true teares falling on your pure Chrystals, +Should turne to armelets for great Queenes 't adore. + +_Ang_. I must be gone. _Cha_. Do not, I will not hurt ye; +This is to let you know, my worthiest Lady, +Y'have clear'd my mind, and I can speak of love too; +Feare not my manners, though I never knew +Before these few houres what a beautie was, +And such a one that fires all hearts that feele it; +Yet I have read of vertuous temperance, +And studied it among my other secrets, +And sooner would I force a separation +Betwixt this Spirit and the case of flesh, +Than but conceive one rudeness against chastitie. + +_An[g]_. Then we may walk. _Cha_. And talk of any thing, +Any thing fit for your eares, and my language; +Though I was bred up dull I was ever civil; +Tis true, I have found it hard to looke on you, +And not desire; Twil prove a wise mans task; +Yet those desires I have so mingled still +And tempered with the quality of honour, +That if you should yeeld, I should hate you for't. +I am no Courtier of a light condition, +Apt to take fire at every beautious face. +That onely serves his will and wantonness, +And lets the serious part run by +As thin neglected sand. Whitness of name, +You must be mine; why should I robbe my selfe +Of that that lawfully must make me happy? +Why should I seeke to cuckold my delights, +And widow all those sweets I aime at in you? +We'l loose our selves in _Venus_ groves of mirtle +Where every little bird shall be a _Cupid_, +And sing of love and youth, each winde that blowes +And curles the velvet leaves shall breed delights, +The wanton springs shall call us to their bankes, +And on the perfum'd flowers wee'l feast our senses, +Yet wee'l walk by untainted of their pleasures, +And as they were pure Temples wee'l talk in them. + +_Ang_. To bed, and pray then, we may have a faire end +Of our faire loves; would I [w]ere worthy of you, +Or of such parents that might give you thankes; +But I am poore in all but in your love. +Once more, good night. _Cha_. A good night t'ye, and may +The dew of sleepe fall gently on you, sweet one, +And lock up those faire lights in pleasing slumbers; +No dreames but chast and cleare attempt your fancie, +And break betimes sweet morne, I've lost my light else. + +_Ang_. Let it be ever night when I lose you. + +_Syl_. This Scholar never went to a Free-Schoo[le], he's so simple + + [Enter a servant.] + +_Ser_. Your brother with two Gallants is at dore, Sir +And they're so violent, they'l take no denial. + +_Ang_. this is no time of night. _Cha_. Let 'em in Mistresse. + +_Serv_. They stay no leave; Shall I raise the house on 'm? + +_Cha_. Not a man, nor make no murmur of't, I charge ye. + + _Enter_ Eustace, Egremont, Cowsy. + +Th'are here, my Uncle absent, stand close to me. +How doe you brother with your curious story? +Have you not read her yet sufficiently? + +_Cha_. No, brother, no, I stay yet in the Preface; +The stile's too hard for you. _Eust_. I must entreat her. +Shee's parcel of my goods. _Cha_. Shee's all when you have her. + +_Ang._ Hold off your hands, unmannerly, rude Sir; +Nor I, nor what I have depend on you. + +_Cha._ Do, let her alone, she gives good counsel; doe not +Trouble your selfe with Ladies, they are too light; +Let out your land, and get a provident Steward. + +_Ang._ I cannot love ye, let that satisfie you; +Such vanities as you are to be laught at. + +_Eust._ Nay, Then you must goe, I must claime mine owne. + +_Both._ A way, a way with her. _Cha._ Let her alone, + [_She strikes off Eustace's hat_] +Pray let her alone, and take your coxcombe up: +Let me talk civilly a while with you brother. +It may be on some termes I may part with her. + +_Eust._ O; is your heart come downe? what are your termes, Sir? +Put up, put up. _Cha._ This is the first and cheifest, + [_Snatches away his sword._] +Let's walk a turne; now stand off fooles, I advise ye, +Stand as far off as you would hope for mercy: +This is the first sword yet I ever handled, +And a sword's a beauteous thing to looke upon, +And if it hold, I shall so hunt your insolence: +Tis sharp I'm sure, and if I put it home, +Tis ten to one I shall new pink your Sattins: +I find I have spirit enough to dispose of it, +And will enough to make ye all examples; +Let me tosse it round, I have the full command on't: +Fetch me a native Fencer, I defie him; +I feele the fire of ten strong spirits in me. +Doe you watch me when my Uncle is absent? +This is my griefe, I shall be flesht on Cowards; +Teach me to fight, I willing am to learne. +Are ye all gilded flies, nothing but shew in ye? +Why stand ye gaping? who now touches her? +Who calls her his, or who dares name her to me? +But name her as his owne; who dares look on her? +That shall be mortal too; but think, 'tis dangerous. +Art thou a fit man to inherit land, +And hast no wit nor spirit to maintaine it? +Stand still thou signe of man, and pray for thy friends, +Pray heartilie, good prayers may restore ye. + +_Ang._ But doe not kill 'em Sir. _Cha._ You speak too late, Deare, +It is my first fight, and I must doe bravely, +I must not looke with partial eyes on any; +I cannot spare a button of these Gentlemen; +Did life lye in their heel _Achilles_ like, +Ide shoot my anger at those parts and kill 'um. +Who waits within? _Ser._ Sir. _Cha._ View all these, view 'em well +Goe round a bout 'em and still view their faces, +Round about yet; See how death waits upon 'em, +For thou shall never view 'em more. _Eust._ Pray hold, Sir. + +_Cha._ I cannot hold, you stand so fair before me, +I must not hold 'twill darken all my glories. +Goe to my Uncle, bid him poste to the King, +And get my pardon instantly, I have need on't. + +_Eust._ Are you so unnatural? _Cha._ You shall die last Sir, +Ile talke thee dead, thou art no man to fight with. +Come, will ye come? me thinkes I've fought whole battailes. + +_Cow_. We have no quarel to you, that we know on, Sir. + +_Egre_. Wee'l quit the house and ask ye mercie too: +Good Ladie, let no murther be done here; +We came but to parly. _Cha_. How my sword +Thirsts after them? stand away Sweet. _Eust._ Pray Sir, +Take my submission, and I disclaime for ever. + +_Cha_. Away ye poore things, ye despicable Creatures! +Doe you come poste to fetch a Ladie from me, +From a poore Schoole-boy that ye scorn'd of late? +And grow lame in your hearts when you should execute? +Pray take her, take her, I am weary of her; +What did ye bring to carrie her. _Egre_. A Coach and four horses. + +_Cha_. But are they good? _Egre_. As good as _France_ can shew Sir. + +_Cha_. Are you willing to leave those, and take your safeties? +Speak quickly. _Eust_. Yes with all our hearts. _Cha_. Tis done then. +Many have got one horse, I've got foure by th' bargaine. + + _Enter_ Miramont. + +_Mi._ How Now, who's here. _Ser_. Nay Now, y'are gon without bail. + +_Mir_. What, drawne my friends! Fetch me my two-hand sword; +I will not leave a head on your shoulders, Wretches. + +_Eust_. In troth Sir, I came but to doe my dutie. + +_Both_. And we to renew our loves. _Mir_. Bring me a blanket. +What came they for? _Ang_. To borrow me a while, Sir; +But one that never fought yet has so curried, +So bastina[d]o'd them with manly carriage, +They stand like things _Gorgon_ had turn'd to stone; +They watch'd your being absent, and then thought +They might doe wonders here, and they have done so? +For by my troth, I wonder at their coldness, +The nipping North or frost never came neere them, +St. _George_ upon a Signe would grow more sensible: +If the name of honour were for ever to be lost, +These were the most sufficient men to doe it +In all the world, and yet they are but young, +What will they rise to? They're as full of fire +As a frozen Glo-wormes ratle, and shine as goodly; +Nobilitie and patience are match'd rarely +In these three Gentlemen, they have right use on't; +They'l stand still for an houre and be beaten. +These are the Anagrammes of three great Worthies. + +_Mir_. They will infect my house with cowardize, +If they breathe longer in it; my roofe covers +No baffl'd Monsieurs, walk and aire your selves; +As I live, they stay not here, while liver'd wretches +Without one word to ask a reason why, +Vanish, 'tis the last warning, and with speed, +For if I take ye in hand I shall dissect you, +And read upon your flegmatick dull carcases. +My horse againe there: I have other business, +Which you shall heare hereafter and laugh at it. +Good night _Charles_, faire goodness to you dear Ladie +Tis late, 'tis late. _Ang._ Pray Sir be careful of us. + +_Mir._ It is enough, my best care shall attend ye. _Exeunt._ + + + + +_Actus IV. Scaena IV._ + + _Enter_ Andrew. + +Are you come old Master? very good, your horse +Is well set up, but ere ye part, Ile ride you +And spur your reverend Justiceship such a question, +As I shall make the sides of your reputation bleed, +Trulie I will. Now must I play at Bo-peep-- +A banquet--well, Potatoes and Eringoes, +And as I take it, Cantharides,--Excellent, +A Priapisme followes, and as Ile handle it, +It shall old lecherous Goat in authoritie. +Now they begin to bill; how he slavers her! +[G]ramercie _Lilly_, she spits his kisses out, +And now he offers to fumble she fals off, +(That's a good Wench) and cries fair play above boord +Who are they in the corner? As I live, +A covey of _Fidlers_; I shall have some musick yet +At my making free oth' Companie of Horners; +There's the comfort, and a Song too! He beckons for one-- +Sure 'tis no Anthem nor no borrowed rhymes +Out of the Schoole of vertue; I will listen-- A _Song._ +This was never penn'd at _Geneva_, the note's too spritely. +So, so, the musicke's paid for, and now what followes? +O that Monsieur _Miramont_ would but keep his word. +Here were a feast to make him fat with laughter, +At the most 'tis not six minutes riding from his house, +Nor will he break I hope--O are you come Sir? +The prey is in the net and will break in +Upon occasion. _Mir._ Thou shall rule me _Andrew_. +O th' infinite fright that will assaile this Gentleman! +The quarterns, tertians, and quotidians +That will hang like Sargeants on his worships shoulders! +The humiliation of the flesh of this man! +This grave austere man will be wondred at. +How will those solemne lookes appeare to me; +And that severe face, that speak chaines and shackles? +Now I take him in the nick, ere I done with him, +He had better have stood between two panes of wainscot; +And made his recantation in the market, +Than heare me conjure him. _And._ He must passe this way, +To th' onely bed I have, he comes, stand close. + +_Bri._ Well done, well done, give me my night-cap. So. +Quick, quick, untruss me; I will truss and trounce thee; +Come Wench a kiss between each point; kiss close; +It is a sweet Parenthesis. _Lil._ Y'are merry Sir. + +_Bri._ Merry I will be anon, and thou shall feele it, +Thou shall my _Lilly_. _Lil._ Shall I aire your bed, Sir? + +_Bri._ No, no, Ile use no warming pan but thine, Girle; +That's all; Come kiss me again. _Lil._ Ha'ye done yet? + +_Bri._ No, but I will doe, and doe wonders, _Lilly_. +Shew me the way. _Lil._ You cannot misse it, Sir; +You shall have a Cawdle in the morning, for +Your worships breakfast. _Bri._ How, ith' morning. _Lilly_? +Th'art such a wittie thing to draw me on. +Leave fooling, _Lilly_, I am hungry now, +And th' hast another Kickshaw, I must tast it. + +_Lil._ Twill make you surfet, I am tender of you: +Y'have all y'are like to have. _And._ And can this be earnest? + +_Mir._ it seemes so, and she honest. _Bri._ Have I not +Thy promise _Lilly_? _Lil._ Yes and I have performed +Enough to a man of your yeares, this is truth, +And you shall find Sir, you have kist and tows'd me, +Handled my legg and foote, what would you more, Sir,? +As for the rest, it requires youth and strength, +And the labour in an old man would breed Agues, +Sciaticaes, and Cramps; you shall not curse me, +For taking from you what you cannot spare, Sir: +Be good unto your selfe, y'ave tane alreadie +All you can take with ease; you are past threshing, +It is a worke too boisterous for you; leave +Such drudgerie to _Andrew_. _Mir._ How she jeeres him? + +_Lil._ Let _Andrew_ alone with his owne tillage, +Hee's tough, and can manure it. _Bri._ Y'are a queane, +A scoffing jeering quean. _Lil._ It may be so, but +I'me sure, Ile nere be yours. _Bri._ Doe not provoke me, +If thou do'st, Ile have my Farm againe, and turne +Thee out a begging. _Lil._ Though you have the will, +And want of honestie to deny your Deed, Sir, +Yet I hope _Andrew_ has got so much learning +From my young Master, as to keep his own; +At the worst, Ile tell a short tale to the Judges, +For what grave ends you sign'd your Lease, and on +What termes you would revoke it. _Bri._ Whore thou dar'st not. +Yeeld or Ile have thee whipt; How my bloud boiles, +As if t'were ore a furnace! _Mir._ I shall coole it. + +_Bri._ Yet gentle _Lilly_, pitie and forgive me, +Ile be a friend t'ye, such a loving bountiful friend-- + +_Lil._ To avoid suites in Law, I would grant a litle, +But should fierce _Andrew_ know it, what would become +Of me? _And._ A whore, a whore! _Bri._ Nothing but well Wench, +I will put such a strong bit in his mouth, +As thou shalt ride him how thou wilt, my _Lilly_: +Nay, he shall hold the doore, as I will worke him, +And thank thee for the office. _Mir._ Take heed _Andrew_, +These are shrewd temptations. _And._ Pray you know +Your Cue, and second me Sir; By your Worships favour. + +_Bri._ _Andrew_! _And._ I come in time to take possession +Of th' office you assigne me; hold the doore, +Alas 'tis nothing for a simple man +To stay without when a deepe understanding +Holds conference within, say with his wife: +A trifle Sir, I know I hold my farme +In Cuckolds Tenure: you are Lord o'the soile Sir, +_Lilly_ is a Weft, a Straie shee's yours, to use Sir, +I claime no interest in her. _Bri._ Art thou serious? +Speak honest _Andrew_, since thou hast oreheard us, +And wink at small faults, man; I'me but a pidler, +A little will serve my turne; thou'lt finde enough +When I've my bellyfull; wilt thou be private +And silent? _And._ By all meanes, Ile onely have +A Ballad made of't, sung to some lewd Tune, +And the name of it shall be _Justice Trap_, +It will sell rarely with your Worships name, +And _Lillies_ on the top. _Bri._ Seek not the ruine +O' my reputation, _Andrew_. _And._ Tis for your credit, +Monsieur _Brisac_ printed in capital letters, +Then pasted upon all the posts in _Paris_. + +_Bri._ No mercy, _Andrew_? _And._ O, it will proclaim you +From th' Citie to the Court, and prove sport royal. + +_Bri._ Thou shall keep thy Farm. _Mir._ He does afflict him rarely. + +_And._ You trouble me. Then his intent arriving, +The vizard of his hypocrisie poll'd off +To the Judge criminal. _Bri._ O, I am undone. + +_And._ Hee's put out of Commission with disgrace, +And held uncapable of bearing Office +Ever hereafter. This is my revenge, +And this Ile put in practice. _Bri._ Doe but heare me. + +_And._ To bring me back from my Grammer to my horne-book, +It is unpardonable. _Bri._ Do not play the Tyrant; +Accept of composition. _Lil._ Heare him, _Andrew_. + +_And._ What composition? _Bri._ Ile confirme thy farme, +And add unto't an hundred acres more +Adjoyning to it. _And._ Umb, This mollifies, +But y'are so fickle: and will again denie this, +There being no witness by. _Bri._ Call any witness, +Ile presently assure it. _And._ Say you so, +Troth there's a friend of mine Sir, within hearing, +That is familiar with all that's past, +His testimonie will be authentical. + +_Bri._ will he be secret? _And._ You may tye his tongue up. +As you would doe your purse-strings. _Br._ _Miramont. M._ Ha, Ha, Ha. + +_And._ this is my witness. Lord how you are troubled? +Sure, y'have an ague, you shake so with choler; +Hee's your loving brother Sir, and will tell no bodie +But all he meets, that you have eate a snake, +And are grown young, gamesom, and rampant. _Bri._ Caught thus? + +_And._ If he were one that would make jests of you, +Or plague ye with making your religious gravitie +Ridiculous to your neighbours, Then you had +Some cause to be perplex'd. _Bri._ I shall become +Discourse for Clowns and Tapsters. _And._ Quick, _Lilly_, Quick, +Hee's now past kissing, between point and point. +He swounds, fetch him some Cordiall--Now put in Sir. + +_Mir._ Who may this be? sure this is some mistake: +Let me see his face, weares he not a false beard? +It cannot be _Brisac_ that worthie Gentleman, +The pillar and the patron of his Countrie; +He is too prudent and too cautelous, +Experience hath taught him t'avoid these fooleries, +He is the punisher and not the doer, +Besides hee's old and cold, unfit for woman; +This is some Counterfeit, he shall be whipt for't, +Some base abuser of my worthie brother. + +_Bri._ Open the doores, will ye'imprison me? are ye my Judges? + +_Mir._ The man raves! This is not judicious _Brisac_: +Yet now I think on't, a' has a kinde of dog looke +Like my brother, a guiltie hanging face. + +_Bri._ Ile suffer bravely, doe your worst, doe, doe. + +_Mir._ Why, it's manly in you. _Bri._ Nor will I raile nor curse, +You slave, you whore, I will not meddle with you, +But all the torments that ere fell on men, +That fed on mischiefe, fall heavily on you all. _Exit._ + +_Lil._ You have giv'n him a heat, Sir. _Mir._ He will ride you +The better, Lil. _And._ Wee'l teach him to meddle with Scholars. + +_Mir._ he shall make good his promise t'increase thy Farm, _Andrew_ +Or Ile jeere him to death, feare nothing _Lilly_, +I am thy Champion. This jeast goes to _Charles_, +And then Ile hunt him out, and Monsieur _Eustace_ +The gallant Courtier, and laugh heartily +To see'm mourne together. _And._ Twill be rare, Sir. _Exeunt._ + + + +_Actus 5. Scaena 1._ + + Eustace, Egremont. Cowsy. + +Turn'd out of doores and baffled! _Egre._ We share with you +In the affront. _Cow._ Yet beare it not like you +With such dejection. _Eust._ My Coach and horses made +The ransome of our cowardize. _Lew._ _Cow._ Pish, that's nothing, +Tis _Damnum reparabile_, and soone recover'd. + +_Egre._ It is but feeding a suitor with false hopes, +And after squeeze him with a dozen of oathes. +You are new rigg'd, and this no more remembred. + +_Eust._ And does the Court that should be the example +And Oracle of the Kingdome, read to us +No other doctrine! _Egre._ None that thrives so well +As that, within my knowledge. _Cow._ Flatterie rubbes out, +But since great men learne to admire themselves, +Tis something crest-falne. _Egre._ To be of no Religion, +Argues a subtle moral understanding, +And it is often cherisht. _Eust._ Pietie then, +And valour, nor to doe nor suffer wrong, +Are they no vertues? _Egre._ Rather vices, _Eustace_; +Fighting! What's fighting? It may be in fashion, +Among Provant swords, and buffe-jerkin men: +But w'us that swim in choice of silkes and Tissues; +Though in defence of that word reputation, +Which is indeed a kind of glorious nothing, +To lose a dram of blood must needs appeare +As coarse as to be honest. _Eust._ And all this +You seriously beleeve. _Cow._ It is a faith, +That we will die in, since from the black guard +To the grim Sir in office, there are few +Hold other Tenets. _Eust._ [N]ow my eyes are open, +And I behold a strong necessity +That keepes me knave and coward. _Cow._ Y'are the wiser. + +_Eust._ Nor can I change my copy, if I purpose +To be of your society. _Egre._ By no meanes. + +_Eust._ Honour is nothing with you? _Cow._ A meere bubble, +For what's growne common, is no more regarded. + +_Eust._ My sword forc'd from me too, and still detain'd, +You think's no blemish. _Egre._ Get me a battoone? +Tis twenty times more courtlike, and less trouble. + +_Eust._ And yet you weare a sword. _Cow._ Yes, and a good one, +A Millan hilt, and a Damasco blade, +For ornament, no use the Court allowes it. + +_Eust._ Wil't not fight of it selfe? _Cow._ I nere tri'd this, +Yet I have worne as faire as any man, +I'me sure I've made my Cutler rich, and paid +For several weapons, Turkish and Toledo's, +Two thousand Crownes, and yet could never light +Upon a fighting one. _Eust._ Ile borrow this, +I like it well. _Cow._ Tis at your service Sir, +A lath in a velvet scabbard will serve my turne. + +_Eust._ And now I have it leave me; y'are infectious, +The plague and leprosie of your baseness spreading +On all that doe come neere you; such as you +Render the Throne of Majesty, the Court +Suspected and contemptible, you are Scarabee's +That batten in her dung, and have no pallats +To taste her curious viands, and like Owles +Can onely see her night deformities, +But with the glorious splendor of her beauties +You are struck blinde as Moles, that undermine +The sumptuous building that allow'd you shelter, +You stick like running ulcers on her face, +And taint the pureness of her native candor, +And being bad servants, cause your masters goodness +To be disputed of; you make the Court +That is the abstract of all Academies, +To teach and practice noble undertakings, +(Where courage sits triumphant crown'd with Lawrel, +And wisedome loaded with the weight of honour) +A Schoole of vices. _Egre._ What sudden rapture's this? + +_Eust._ A heavenly one that raising me from sloth and ignorance, +(In which your conversation long hath charm'd me) +Carries me up into the aire of action, +And knowledge of my selfe; even now I feele +But pleading onely in the Courts defence, +(Though far[r]e short of her merits and bright lustre) +A happy alteration, and full strength +To stand her Champion against all the world, +That throw aspersions on her. _Cow._ Sure hee'l beat us, +I see it in his eyes. _Egre._ A second _Charles_; +Pray look not Sir so furiously. _Eust._ Recant +What you have said, ye Mungrils, and licke up +The vomit you have cast upon the Court, +Where you unworthily have had warmth and breeding, +And sweare that you like Spiders, have made poyson +Of that which was a saving antidote. + +_Egre._ We will sweare any thing. _Cow._ We honour the Court +As a most sacred place. _Egre._ And will make oath, +If you enjoyne us to't, nor knave nor fool, +Nor Coward living in it. _Eust._ Except you two, +You Rascals! _Cow._ Yes, we are all these, and more, +If you will have it so. _Eust._ And that until +You are again reform'd and growne new men, +You nere presume to name the Court, or presse +Into the Porters Lodge but for a penance, +To be disciplin'd for your roguery, and this done +With true contrition. _Both._ Yes Sir. _Eust._ You againe +May eat scraps and be thankful. _Cow._ Here's a cold breakfast +After a sharpe nights walking. _Eust._ Keepe your oathes, +And without grumbling vanish. _Both._ We are gone, Sir. _Exeunt._ + +_Eust._ May all the poorenesse of my spirit goe with you, +The fetters of my thraldome are filed off: +And I at libertie to right my selfe, +And though my hope in _Angellina's_ little, +My honour (unto which compar'd shee's nothing) +Shall like the Sun disperse those lowring Clouds +That yet obscure and dimme it; not the name +Of brother shall divert me, but from him, +That in the worlds opinion ruin'd me, +I will seek reparation, and call him +Unto a strict accompt. Ha! 'tis neere day, +And if the Muses friend rose-cheek'd _Aurora_, +Invite him to this solitary grove, +As I much hope she will, he seldome missing +To pay his vowes here to her, I shall hazard +To hinder his devotions--The doore opens-- _Enter Charles._ +Tis he most certain, and by's side my sword, +Blest opportunity. _Cha._ I have oreslept my selfe, +And lost part of the morne, but Ile recover it: +Before I went to bed, I wrote some notes +Within my table-book, which I will now consider. +Ha! What meanes this? What do I with a sword? +Learn'd _Mercurie_ needs not th'aide of _Mars_, and innocence +Is to it selfe a guard, yet since armes ever +Protect arts, I may justly weare and use it; +For since't was made my prize, I know not how +I'me growne in love with't and cannot eate nor study, +And much lesse walke without it: but I trifle, +Matters of more weight ask my judgement. _Eust._ Now Sir, +Treate of no other Theme, Ile keep you to it, +And see y'expound it well. _Cha._ _Eustace_! _Eust._ The same Sir, +Your younger brother, who as duty bindes him, +Hath all this night (turn'd out of doores) attended, +To bid good morrow t'ye. _Cha._ This not in scorne, +Commands me to returne it; Would you ought else? + +_Eust._ O much, Sir, here I end not, but begin; +I must speak to you in another straine, +Than yet I ever us'd, and if the language +Appeare in the delivery rough and harsh, +You (being my Tutor) must condemne your selfe, +From whom I learn'd it. _Cha._ When I understand +(Bee't in what stile you please) what's your demand, +I shall endeavour in the self same phrase +To make an answer to the point. _Eust._ I come not +To lay claime to your birthright, 'tis your owne, +And 'tis fit you enjoy it, nor ask I from you +Your learning and deepe knowledge; (though I am not +A Schollar as you are) I know them Diamonds +By your sole industry, patience and labour +Forc'd from steepe rocks, and with much toile attended, +And but to few that prize their value granted, +And therefore without rival freely weare them. + +_Cha._ These not repin'd at (as you seeme t'informe me) +The motion must be of a strange condition, +If I refuse to yeeld to't; therefore _Eustace_, +Without this tempest in your lookes propound it, +And feare not a denial. _Eust._ I require then, +(As from an enemy, and not a brother) +The reputation of a man of honour, +Not by a faire war wonne when I was waking, +But in my sleepe of folly ravish'd from me; +With these, the restitution of my sword, +With large acknowledgement of satisfaction, +My Coach, my Horses; I will part with life, +Ere lose one haire of them, and what concludes all, +My Mistress _Angellina_, as she was +Before the Musical Magick of thy tongue +Inchanted and seduc'd her. These perform'd, +And with submission, and done publiquely, +At my fathers and my Uncles intercession, +(That I put in too) I perhaps may listen +To termes of reconcilement; but if these +In every circumstance are not subscrib'd to, +To th' last gasp I defie thee. _Cha._ These are strict +Conditions to a brother. _Eust._ My rest is up, +Nor will I give less. _Cha._ I'me no Gamester, _Eustace_, +Yet I can guesse your resolution stands +To win or loose all; I rejoyce to find ye +Thus tender of your honour, and that at length +You understand what a wretched thing you were, +How deeply wounded by your selfe, and made +Almost incurable, in your owne hopes, +The dead flesh of pale cowardise growing over +Your festred reputation, which no balme +Or gentle unguent ever could make way to, +And I am happy, that I was the Surgeon +That did apply those burning corrosives +That render you already sensible +O th' danger you were plung'd in, in teaching you, +And by a faire gradation, how far[r]e, +And with what curious respect and care +The peace and credit of a man within, +(Which you nere thought till now) should be preferr'd +Before a gawdy outside; pray you fix here, +For so farre I go with you. _Eust._ This discourse +Is from the subject. _Cha._ Ile come to it brother, +But if you think to build upon my ruines, +You'l find a false foundation your high offers +Taught by the Masters of dependancies, +That by compounding differences 'tween others +Supply their owne necessities, with me +Will never carry't; As you are my brother, +I would dispence a little, but no more +Than honour can give way to; nor must I +Destroy that in my selfe I love in you; +And therefore let not hopes nor threats perswade you +I will descend to any composition +For which I may be censur'd. _Eust._ You shall fight then. + +_Cha._ With much unwillingness with you, but if +There's no evasion-- _Eust._ None. _Cha._ Heare yet a word +As for the sword and other fripperies, +In a faire way send for them, you shall have 'em. +But rather than surrender _Angellina_, +Or heare it againe mention'd, I oppose +My breast unto lowd thunder, cast behinde me +All ties of Nature. _Eust._ She detain'd, I'me deafe +To all perswasion. _Cha._ Guard thy selfe then _Eustace_, +I use no other Rhetorick. _Mir._ Clashing of swords [_Enter Miram._] +So neere my house? brother oppos'd to brother! +Here is no fencing at halfe sword; hold, hold, +_Charles, Eustace_. _Eust._ Second him, or call in more helpe. +Come not betweene us, Ile not know nor spare you; +D'ye fight by th' booke? _Cha._ Tis you that wrong me, off Sir, +And suddenly, Ile conjure down the Spirit +That I have raised in him. _Eust._ Never, _Charles_, +Tis thine, and in thy death, be doubled in me. + +_Mir._ I'me out of breath, yet trust not too much to't boyes, +For if you pawse not suddenly, and heare reason, +Doe, kill your Uncle, doe, but that I'me patient, +And not a cholerick old teasty foole, +Like your father, Ide daunce a matachin with you, +Should make you sweat your best blood for't; I would, +And it may be I will, _Charles_ I command thee, +And _Eustace_ I entreat thee, th'art a brave Spark, +A true tough-metal'd blade, and I begin +To love thee heartily, give me a fighting Courtier, +Ile cherish him for example; in our age +Th'are not born every day. _Cha._ You of late Sir, +In me lov'd learning. _Mir._ True, but take me w'ye, _Charles_, +'Twas when yong _Eustace_ wore his heart in's breeches, +And fought his battailes in Complements and Cringes, +When's understanding wav'd in a flaunting feather, +And his best contemplation look'd no further +Than a new-fashion'd doublet, I confess then +The lofty noise your Greek made onely pleas'd me; +But now hee's turn'd an _Oliver_ and a _Rowland_, +Nay the whole dozen of peeres are bound up in him: +Let me remember, when I was of his yeeres, +I did looke very like him; and did you see +My picture as I was then, you would sweare +That gallant _Eustace_ (I meane, now he dares fight) +Was the true substance and the perfect figure. +Nay, nay, no anger, you shall have enough _Charles_. + +_Cha._ Sure Sir, I shall not need addition from him. + +_Eust._ Nor I from any, this shall decide my interest, +Though I am lost to all deserving men, +To all that men call good, for suffering tamely +Insufferable wrongs, and justly slighted +By yeelding to a minute of delay +In my revenge, and from that made a stranger +Unto my fathers house and favour, orewhelm'd +With all disgraces, yet I will mount upward, +And force my selfe a fortune, though my birth +And breeding doe deny it. _Cha._ Seek not _Eustace_, +By violence, what will be offerd to you +On easier composition; though I was not +Allied unto your weakness, you shall find me +A brother to your bravery of spirit, +And one that not compell'd to't by your sword, +(Which I must never feare) will share it with you +In all but _Angellina_. _Mir._ Nobly said _Charles_, +And learne from my experience, you may heare reason +And never maime your fighting; for your credit +Which you think you have lost, spare, _Charles_, and swinge me, +And soundly; three or foure walking cloakes +That weare no swords to guard 'em, yet deserve it, +Thou art made up againe. _Eust._ All this is lip-salve. + +_Mir._ It shall be Hearts-ease, _Eustace_, ere I've done; +As for thy fathers anger, now thou dar'st fight, +Nere feare't, for I've the dowcets of his gravity +Fast in a string, I will so pinch and wring him, +That spight of his authority, thou shalt make +Thine owne conditions with him. _Eust._ Ile take leave +A little to consider. _Cha._ Here comes _Andrew_. + +_Mir._ But without his Comical and learned face; +What sad disaster, _Andrew_? _And._ You may read Sir, +A Tragedy in my face. _Mir._ Art thou in earnest? + +_And._ Yes, by my life Sir, and if now you help not, +And speedily, by force or by persuasion, +My good old Master (for now I pitie him) is +Ruin'd for ever. _Cha._ Ha, my father! _And._ He Sir. + +_Mir._ By what meanes? speake. _And._ At the suit of Monsieur _Lewis_ +His house is seiz'd upon, and he in person +Is under guard, (I saw it with these eyes Sir) +To be convey'd to _Paris_, and there sentenc'd. + +_Mir._ Nay, then there is no jesting. _Cha._ Doe I live, +And know my father injur'd? _And._ And what's worse Sir, +My Lady _Angellina_-- _Eust._ What of her? + +_And._ Shee's carryed away too. _Mir._ How? _And._ While you were absent, +A crew of Monsieur _Lewis_ friends and kinsmen +By force break in at th' back part of the house, +And took her away by violence; faithful _Andrew_, +(As this can witness for him) did his best, +In her defence, but 'twould not doe. _Mir._ Away, +And see our horses sadled, 'tis no time +To talke, but doe: _Eustace_, you now are offer'd +A spatious field, and in a pious war +To exercise you[r] valour, here's a cause, +And such a one, in which to fall is honourable, +Your duty and reverence due to a fathers name +Commanding it; but these unnatural jarres +Arising betweene brothers (should you prosper) +Would shame your victorie. _Eust._ I would doe much Sir, +But still my reputation! _Mir._ _Charles_ shall give you +All decent satisfaction; nay joyne hands, +And heartily; why this is done like brothers; +And old as I am, in this cause that concerns +The honour of our family, Monsieur _Lewis_ +(If reason cannot work) shall find and feele +There's hot blood in this arme, Ile lead you bravely. + +_Eust._ And if I follow not, a Cowards name +Be branded on my forehead. _Cha._ This Spirit makes you +A sharer in my fortunes. _Mir._ And in mine, +Of which (_Brisac_ once freed, and _Angellina_ +Again in our possession) you shall know +My heart speakes in my tongue. _Eust._ I dare not doubt it, Sir. +_Exeunt._ + + + +_Actus V. Scaena II._ + + _Enter_ Lewis, Brisac, Angellina, Sylvia, _Officers._ + +_Lew._ I'me deafe to all perswasions. _Bri._ I use none, +Nor doubt I, though a while my innocence suffers, +But when the King shall understand how false +Your malice hath inform'd him, he in justice +Must set me right againe. _Ang._ Sir, let not passion +So far[r]e transport you as to think in reason, +This violent course repaires, but ruins it; +That honour you would build up, you destroy; +What you would seeme to nourish, if respect +Of my preferment or my patern +May challenge your paternal love and care, +Why doe you, now good fortune has provided +A better husband for me than your hopes +Could ever fancy, strive to robb me of him? +In what is my Lord _Charles_ defective Sir? +Unless deep learning be a blemish in him, +Or well proportion'd limbs be mulcts in Nature, +Or what you onely aim'd at, large revenewes +Are on the sudden growne distastful to you, +Of what can you accuse him? _Lew._ Of a rape +Done to honour, which thy ravenous lust +Made the consent to. _Syl._ Her lust! you are her father. + +_Lew._ And you her Bawd. _Syl._ Were you ten Lords, 'tis false, +The pureness of her chaste thoughts entertains not +Such spotted instruments. _Ang._ As I have a soule Sir. + +_Lew._ I am not to be alter'd; to sit downe +With this disgrace, would argue me a Peasant, +And not borne noble: all rigour that the Law +And that encrease of power by favour yeelds, +Shall be with all severity inflicted; +You have the Kings hand for't; no Bayle will serve, +And therefore at your perils Officers, away with 'em. + +_Bri._ This is madness. _Lew._ Tell me so in open Court, +And there Ile answer you. _Mir._ Well overtaken; + + [_Enter Mir. Char. Eust. Andrew._] + +_Cha._ Ill if they dare resist. _Eust._ He that advances +But one step forward dies. _L._ Shew the King's Writ. + +_Mir._ Shew your discretion, 'twil become you better. + +_Cha._ Y'are once more in my power, and if againe +I part with you, let me for ever lose thee. + +_Eust._ Force will not do't nor threats; accept this service +From your despair'd of _Eustace_. _And._ And beware +Your reverend Worship never more attempt +To search my _Lilly-pot_, you see what followes. + +_Lew._ Is the Kings power contemn'd? _Mir._ No, but the torrent +O' your wilful folly stopp'd. And for you, good Sir, +If you would but be sensible, what can you wish +But the satisfaction of an obstinate Will. +That is not indear'd to you? rather than +Be cross'd in what you purpos'd, you'l undoe +Your daughters fame, the credit of your judgement, +And your old foolish neighbour; make your states, +And in a suite not worth a Cardecue, +A prey to advocates, and their buckram Scribes, +And after they have plum'd ye, returne home +Like a couple of naked Fowles without a feather. + +_Cha._ This is a most strong truth Sir. _Mir._ No, no, Monsieur, +Let us be right Frenchmen, violent to charge, +But when our follies are repell'd by reason, +Tis fit that we retreat and nere come on more: +Observe my learned _Charles_, hee'l get thee a Nephew +On _Angellina_ shall dispute in her belly, +And suck the Nurse by Logick: and here's _Eustace_, +He was an asse, but now is grown an _Amadis_; +Nor shall he want a Wife, if all my land +For a joynture can effect it: Y'are a good Lord, +And of a gentle nature, in your lookes +I see a kinde consent, and it shewes lovely: +And doe you heare old Foole? but Ile not chide, +Hereafter like me, ever doate on learning, +The meere beleefe is excellent, 'twill save you; +And next love valour, though you dare not fight +Your selfe, or fright a foolish Officer, 'young _Eustace_ +Can doe it to a haire. And to conclude, +Let _Andrew's_ Farm b'encreas'd, that is your penance, +You know for what, and see you rut no more, +You understand me, So embrace on all sides; + Ile pay those Billmen, and make large amends; + Provided we preserve you still our friends.-- _Exeunt._ + +[_A few misprints in the above have been corrected in square brackets +to agree with_ B.] + + +[*** The remainder of the original page, being the _Variants_ +section, appears to have been removed deliberately, perhaps to be +processed separately.] + + + + + +End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Works of Francis Beaumont and John +Fletcher, by Francis Beaumont and John Fletcher + +*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK BEAUMONT AND FLETCHER *** + +***** This file should be named 12098.txt or 12098.zip ***** +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: + https://www.gutenberg.org/1/2/0/9/12098/ + +Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Jonathan Ingram, Charles M. 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