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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11312 ***
+
+THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+
+VOL. XII, NO. 339.] SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1828. [PRICE 2d.
+
+
+
+
+Great Milton.
+
+
+[Illustration: Great Milton.]
+
+
+Great Milton, a picturesque village, near Thame, in Oxfordshire, is
+entitled to notice in the annals of literature, as the family seat of
+the MILTONS, ancestors of Britain's illustrious epic poet. Of this
+original abode, our engraving is an accurate representation. One of
+Milton's ancestors forfeited his estate in the turbulent times of York
+and Lancaster. "Which side he took," says Johnson, "I know not; his
+descendant inherited no veneration for the White Rose." His grandfather
+was under ranger of the forest of Shotover, Oxon, who was a zealous
+Papist, and disinherited his son for becoming a Protestant. Milton's
+father being thus deprived of his family property, was compelled to quit
+his studies at Christ Church, Oxford, whence he went to London, and
+became a scrivener. He was eminent for his skill in music;[1] and from
+his reputation in his profession, he grew rich, and retired. He was
+likewise a classical scholar, as his son addresses him in one of his
+most elaborate Latin verses. He married a lady of the name of Caston, of
+a Welsh family, by whom he had two sons, John, THE POET,[2] and
+Christopher, who studied the law, became a bencher of the Inner Temple,
+was knighted at a very advanced age, and raised by James II. first to be
+a Baron of the Exchequer, and afterwards one of the Judges of the Common
+Pleas. He was much persecuted by the republicans for his adherence to
+the royal cause, but his composition with them was effected by his
+brother's interest.
+
+    [1] Dr. Burney says he was "equal in science, if not in genius, to
+        the best musicians of his age."
+
+    [2] Born in his father's house, at the Spread Eagle in Bread-street,
+        Cheapside, December 9, 1608.
+
+Besides these two sons, he had a daughter, Anne, who was married to a
+Mr. Edward Philips, of Shrewsbury; by him she had two sons, John and
+Edward, who were educated by the poet, and from whom is derived the
+only authentic account of his domestic manners.
+
+MILTON was thus by birth a gentleman; but had his descent been
+otherwise, his works would ennoble him to posterity.
+
+  The lord, by giddy fortune courted,
+    Stalks through a part by thousands played;
+  The minstrel, proud and unsupported,
+    Stands forth the Noble God has made[3]
+
+    [3]  W. Kennedy--in the _Amulet_ for 1829.
+
+We sought our illustration of GREAT MILTON in the "Oxfordshire" of that
+voluminous and expensive work, "the Beauties of England and Wales;" but,
+strange to say, the family name of Milton is not even mentioned there,
+although the house is still
+
+  By chance or Nature's changing course untrimm'd.
+
+
+The editor, however, tells us, on the authority of Leland, that there
+was at Great Milton a priory "many yeres syns;" and quotes the following
+quaint lines from a tablet in the church:--
+
+  Here lye mother and babe, both without sins,
+  Next birth will make her and her infant, twins.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+ANCIENT FEASTINGS IN GUILDHALL, &c.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+The first time that Guildhall was used on festive occasions was by Sir
+John Shaw Goldsmith, knighted in the field of Bosworth. After building
+the essentials of good kitchens, and other offices, in the year 1500,
+he gave here the mayor's feast, which before had usually been done in
+Grocers' Hall. None of these bills of fare (says Pennant) have reached
+me; but doubtless they were very magnificent. They at length grew to
+such excess, that in the time of Queen Mary a sumptuary law was made
+to restrain the expense both of provisions and _liveries_; but I
+suspect, (says Pennant,) as it lessened the honour of the city, it was
+not long observed, for in 1554, the city thought proper to renew the
+order of council, by way of reminding their fellow citizens of their
+relapse into luxury. Among the great feasts given here on public
+occasions, may be reckoned that given in 1612, on occasion of the
+unhappy marriage of the Prince Palatine with Elizabeth, daughter of
+James I. The next was in 1641, when Charles I. returned from his
+imprudent and inefficacious journey into Scotland. But our ancestors far
+surpassed these feasts. Richard, Earl of Cornwall, brother to Henry III.
+had, at his marriage feast, (as is recorded,) 30,000 dishes of meat.
+Nevil, archbishop of York, had, at his consecration, a feast sufficient
+for 10,000 people. One of the abbots of St. Augustine, at Canterbury,
+invited 5,000 guests to his installation dinner. And King Richard II.,
+at a Christmas feast, had daily 26 oxen, 300 sheep, besides fowls,
+and all other provisions proportionably. So anciently, at a call of
+sergeants-at-law, each sergeant (says Fortescue) spent 1,600 crowns
+in feasting.
+
+P.T.W.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+MAXIMS TO LIVE BY.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+To have too much forethought is the part of a wretch; to have too little
+is the part of a fool.
+
+Self-will is so ardent and active that it will break a world to pieces
+to make a stool to sit on.
+
+Remember always to mix good sense with good things, or they will become
+disgusting.
+
+If there is any person to whom you feel a dislike, that is the person of
+whom you ought never to speak.
+
+Irritability urges us to take a step as much too soon, as sloth does too
+late.
+
+Say the strongest things you can with candour and kindness to a man's
+face, and make the best excuse you can for him with truth and justice,
+behind his back.
+
+Men are to be estimated, as Johnson says, by the mass of character.
+A block of tin may have a grain of silver, but still it is tin; and a
+block of silver may have an alloy of tin; but still it is silver. Some
+men's characters are excellent, yet not without alloy. Others base, yet
+tend to great ends. Bad men are made the same use of as scaffolds; they
+are employed as means to erect a building, and then are taken down and
+destroyed.
+
+If a man has a quarrelsome temper, let him alone; the world will soon
+find him employment. He will soon meet with some one stronger than
+himself, who will repay him better than you can. A man may fight duels
+all his life if he is disposed to quarrel.
+
+A person who objects to tell a friend of his faults, because he has
+faults of his own, acts as a surgeon would, who should refuse to dress
+another's wound because he had a dangerous one himself.
+
+Some evils are irremediable, they are best neither seen nor heard; by
+seeing and hearing things that you cannot remove, you will create
+implacable adversaries; who being guilty aggressors, never forgive.
+
+W.J.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+Manners & Customs of all Nations.
+
+CUSTOMS RELATING TO THE BEARD.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+It was a custom among the Romans to consecrate the first growth of their
+beard to some god; thus Nero at the Gynick games, which he exhibited in
+the Septa, cut off the first growth of his beard, which he placed in a
+golden box, adorned with pearls, and then consecrated it in the Capitol
+to Jupiter.
+
+The nations in the east used mostly to nourish their beards with
+great care and veneration, and it was a punishment among them, for
+licentiousness and adultery, to have the beard of the offending parties
+publicly cut off. Such a sacred regard had they for the preservation
+of their beards, that if a man pledged it for the payment of a debt,
+he would not fail to pay it. Among the Romans a bearded man was a
+proverbial expression for a man of virtue and simplicity. The Romans
+during grief and mourning used to let their hair and beard grow, (Livy)
+while the Greeks on the contrary used to cut off their hair and shave
+their beards on such occasions.[4](Seneca.) When Alexander the Great was
+going to fight against the Persians, one of his officers brought him
+word that all was ready for battle, and demanded if he required anything
+further. On which Alexander replied, "nothing but that the Macedonians
+cut off their beards--for there is not a better handle to take a man by
+than the beard." This shows Alexander intended close fighting. Shaving
+was not introduced among the Romans till late. Pliny tells us that P.
+Ticinias was the first who brought a barber to Rome, which was in the
+454th year from the building of the city. Scipio Africanus was the first
+among the Romans who shaved his beard, and Adrianus the emperor (says
+Dion,) was the first of all the Caesars who nourished his beard.
+
+    [4] From this custom probably originated that in England, of widows
+        concealing their hair for a stated period after the death of
+        their husbands. Indeed, we know of more than one instance of a
+        widow closely _cutting off_ her hair. But these sorrowful
+        observances are becoming less and less frequent.--ED.
+
+The Roman servants or slaves were not allowed to poll their hair,
+or shave their beards. The Jews thought it ignominious to lose their
+beards, 2 Sam. c. x. v. 4. Among the Catti, a nation of Germany, a young
+man was not allowed to shave or cut his hair till he had slain an enemy.
+(Tacitus.) The Lombards or Longobards, derived their Fame from the great
+length of their beards. When Otho the Great used to speak anything
+serious, he swore by his beard, which covered his breast. The Persians
+are fond of long beards. We read in Olearius' Travels of a king of
+Persia who had commanded his steward's head to be cut off, and on its
+being brought to him, he remarked, "what a pity it was, that a man
+possessing such fine mustachios, should have been executed," but added
+he, "Ah! it was your own fault." The Normans considered the beard as an
+indication of distress and misery. The Ancient Britons used always to
+wear the hair on the upper lip, and so strongly were they attached to
+this custom, that when William the Conqueror ordered them to shave their
+upper lip, it was so repugnant to their feelings, that many of them
+chose rather to abandon their country than resign their mustachios. In
+the 15th century, the beard was worn long. In the 16th, it was suffered
+to grow to an amazing length, (see the portraits of Bishop Gardiner, and
+Cardinal Pole, during Queen Mary's reign,) and very often made use of
+as a tooth-pick case. Brantome tells us that Admiral Coligny wore his
+tooth-pick in his beard.
+
+C.B.Z.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+SINGULAR CUSTOM AT ROUEN.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+The chapter of Rouen, (which consists of the archbishop, a dean, fifty
+canons, and ten prebendaries,) have, ever since the year 1156, enjoyed
+the annual privilege of pardoning, on Ascension-day, some individual
+confined within the jurisdiction of the city for murder.
+
+On the morning of Ascension-day, the chapter, having heard many
+examinations and confessions read, proceed to the election of the
+criminal who is to be pardoned; and, the choice being made, his name is
+transmitted in writing to the parliament, which assemble on that day at
+the palace. The parliament then walk in procession to the great chamber,
+where the prisoner is brought before them in irons, and placed on a
+stool; he is informed that the choice has fallen upon him, and that
+he is entitled to the privilege of St. Romain. After this form, he is
+delivered into the hands of the chaplain, who, accompanied by fifty
+armed men, conveys him to a chamber, where the chains are taken from his
+legs and bound about his arms; and in this condition he is conducted
+to a place named the Old Tower, where he awaits the coming of the
+procession. After some little time has elapsed, the procession sets
+out from the cathedral; two of the canons bear the shrine in which
+the relics of St. Romain are presumed to be preserved. When they
+have arrived at the Old Tower, the shrine is placed in the chapel,
+opposite to the criminal, who appears kneeling, with the chains on his
+arms. Then one of the canons, having made him repeat the confession,
+says the prayers usual at the time of giving absolution; after which
+service, the prisoner kneeling still, lifts up the shrine three times,
+amid the acclamations of the people assembled to behold the ceremony.
+The procession then returns to the cathedral, followed by the criminal,
+wearing a chaplet of flowers on his head, and carrying the shrine of the
+saint. After mass has been performed, he has a very serious exhortation
+addressed to him by a monk; and, lastly, he is conducted to an apartment
+near the cathedral, and is supplied with refreshments and a bed for that
+night. In the morning he is dismissed.
+
+G.W.N.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE SKETCH-BOOK
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ABBOTSFORD,
+
+_And Sir Walter Scott's Study_.
+
+[The following extracts are from the private letter of a distinguished
+American gentleman, and form part of one of the most striking articles
+in "The Anniversary for 1829," edited by Allan Cunningham. We intended
+the whole article for our Supplementary "Spirit of the Annuals;" but
+as our engraving will necessarily occupy a few days longer, during
+which time this description of _Abbotsford_ will be printed in
+fifty different forms, we are induced to take it by the forelock, and
+appropriate it for our present number. It is, perhaps, one of the
+most, if not the most, graphic paper in the whole list of "Annuals,"
+notwithstanding there are scores of brilliant gems left for our
+Supplement. Certain arts must have their own pace; but, in our arduous
+catering for novelties for the MIRROR, we often have occasion to wish
+that _block-machinery_ could be applied to engraving on wood.]
+
+"Stepping westward," as Wordsworth says, from the hall, you find
+yourself in a narrow, low, arched room, which runs quite across the
+house, having a blazoned window again at either extremity, and filled
+all over with smaller pieces of armour and weapons, such as swords,
+firelocks, spears, arrows, darts, daggers, &c. &c. &c. Here are
+the pieces, esteemed most precious by reason of their histories
+respectively. I saw, among the rest, Rob Roy's gun, with his initials,
+R.M.C. i.e. Robert Macgregor Campbell, round the touch-hole; the
+blunderbuss of Hofer, a present to Sir Walter from his friend Sir
+Humphrey Davy; a most magnificent sword, as magnificently mounted, the
+gift of Charles the First to the great Montrose, and having the arms
+of Prince Henry worked on the hilt; the hunting bottle of bonnie
+King Jamie; Bonaparte's pistols (found in his carriage at Waterloo,
+I believe), _cum multis aliis_. I should have mentioned that
+stag-horns and bulls' horns (the petrified relics of the old mountain
+monster, I mean), and so forth, are suspended in great abundance above
+all the doorways of these armories; and that, in one corner, a dark one
+as it ought to be, there is a complete assortment of the old Scottish
+instruments of torture, not forgetting the very thumbikins under which
+Cardinal Carstairs did _not_ flinch, and the more terrific iron
+crown of Wisheart the Martyr, being a sort of barred headpiece, screwed
+on the victim at the stake, to prevent him from crying aloud in his
+agony.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Beyond the smaller, or rather I should say, the narrower armoury,
+lies the dining parlour proper, however; and though there is nothing
+Udolphoish here, yet I can well believe that when lighted up and the
+curtains drawn at night, the place may give no bad notion of the private
+snuggery of some lofty lord abbot of the time of the Canterbury Tales.
+The room is a very handsome one, with a low and very richly carved roof
+of dark oak again; a huge projecting bow window, and the dais elevated
+_more majorum_; the ornaments of the roof, niches for lamps, &c.
+&c. in short, all the minor details, are, I believe, fac similes after
+Melrose. The walls are hung in crimson, but almost entirely covered with
+pictures, of which the most remarkable are--the parliamentary general,
+Lord Essex, a full length on horseback; the Duke of Monmouth, by Lely; a
+capital Hogarth, by himself; Prior and Gay, both by Jervas; and the head
+of Mary Queen of Scots, in a charger, painted by Amias Canrod, the day
+after the decapitation at Fotheringay, and sent some years ago as a
+present to Sir Walter from a Prussian nobleman, in whose family it had
+been for more than two centuries. It is a most deathlike performance,
+and the countenance answers well enough to the coins of the unfortunate
+beauty, though not at all to any of the portraits I have happened to
+see. I believe there is no doubt as to the authenticity of this most
+curious picture. Among various family pictures, I noticed particularly
+Sir Walter's great grandfather, the old cavalier mentioned in one of
+the epistles in Marmion, who let his beard grow after the execution of
+Charles I., and who here appears, accordingly, with a most venerable
+appendage of silver whiteness, reaching even unto his girdle.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A narrower passage leads to a charming breakfast room, which looks to
+the Tweed on one side, and towards Yarrow and Ettricke, famed in song,
+on the other: a cheerful room, fitted up with novels, romances, and
+poetry, I could perceive, at one end; and the other walls covered thick
+and thicker with a most valuable and beautiful collection of watercolour
+drawings, chiefly by Turner and Thomson of Duddingstone, the designs,
+in short, for the magnificent work entitled "Provincial Antiquities of
+Scotland." There is one very grand oil painting over the chimney-piece,
+Fastcastle, by Thomson, alias the Wolf's Crag of the Bride of
+Lammermoor, one of the most majestic and melancholy sea-pieces I ever
+saw; and some large black and white drawings of the Vision of Don
+Roderick, by Sir James Steuart of Allanbank (whose illustrations of
+Marmion and Mazeppa you have seen or heard of), are at one end of the
+parlour. The room is crammed with queer cabinets and boxes, and in a
+niche there is a bust of old Henry Mackenzie, by Joseph of Edinburgh.
+Returning towards the armoury, you have, on one side of a most religious
+looking corridor, a small greenhouse, with a fountain playing before
+it--the very fountain that in days of yore graced the cross of
+Edinburgh, and used to flow with claret at the coronation of the
+Stuarts--a pretty design, and a standing monument of the barbarity of
+modern innovation. From the small armoury you pass, as I said before,
+into the drawing-room, a large, lofty, and splendid _salon_, with
+antique ebony furniture and crimson silk hangings, cabinets, china, and
+mirrors _quantum suff_, and some portraits; among the rest glorious
+John Dryden, by Sir Peter Lely, with his gray hairs floating about in a
+most picturesque style, eyes full of wildness, presenting the old Bard,
+I take it, in one of those "tremulous moods," in which we have it on
+record he appeared when interrupted in the midst of his Alexander's
+Feast. From this you pass into the largest of all the apartments, the
+library, which, I must say, is really a noble room. It is an oblong of
+some fifty feet by thirty, with a projection in the centre, opposite the
+fireplace, terminating in a grand bow window, fitted up with books also,
+and, in fact, constituting a sort of chapel to the church. The roof is
+of carved oak again--a very rich pattern--I believe chiefly _a la_
+Roslin, and the bookcases, which are also of richly carved oak, reach
+high up the walls all round. The collection amounts, in this room, to
+some fifteen or twenty thousand volumes, arranged according to their
+subjects: British history and antiquities, filling the whole of the
+chief wall; English poetry and drama, classics and miscellanies, one
+end: foreign literature, chiefly French and German, the other. The cases
+on the side opposite the fire are wired and locked, as containing
+articles very precious and very portable. One consists entirely of books
+and MSS. relating to the insurrections of 1715 and 1745; and another
+(within the recess of the bow window), of treatises _de re magica_,
+both of these being (I am told, and can well believe), in their several
+ways, collections of the rarest curiosity. My cicerone pointed out, in
+one corner, a magnificent set of Mountfaucon, ten volumes folio, bound
+in the richest manner in scarlet, and stamped with the royal arms, the
+gift of his present majesty. There are few living authors of whose works
+presentation copies are not to be found here. My friend showed me
+inscriptions of that sort in, I believe, every European dialect extant.
+The books are all in prime condition, and bindings that would satisfy
+Mr. Dibdin. The only picture is Sir Walter's eldest son, in hussar
+uniform, and holding his horse, by Allan of Edinburgh, a noble portrait,
+over the fireplace; and the only bust is that of Shakspeare, from the
+Avon monument, in a small niche in the centre of the east side. On a
+rich stand of porphyry, in one corner, reposes a tall silver urn,
+filled with bones from the Piraeus, and bearing the inscription,
+"Given by George Gordon, Lord Byron, to Sir Walter Scott, Bart." It
+_contained_ the letter which accompanied the gift till lately: it
+has disappeared; no one guesses who took it, but whoever he was, as my
+guide observed, he must have been a thief for thieving's sake truly,
+as he durst no more exhibit his autograph than tip himself a bare
+bodkin. Sad, infamous tourist, indeed! Although I saw abundance of
+comfortable-looking desks and arm chairs, yet this room seemed rather
+too large and fine for _work_, and I found accordingly, after
+passing a double pair of doors, that there was a _sanctum_ within
+and beyond this library. And here you may believe, was not to me the
+least interesting, though by no means the most splendid, part of the
+suite.
+
+The lion's own den proper, then, is a room of about five-and-twenty
+feet square by twenty feet high, containing of what is properly called
+furniture nothing but a small writing-table in the centre, a plain
+arm-chair covered with black leather--a very comfortable one though, for
+I tried it--and a single chair besides, plain symptoms that this is no
+place for company. On either side of the fireplace there are shelves
+filled with duodecimos and books of reference, chiefly, of course,
+folios; but except these there are no books save the contents of a light
+gallery which runs round three sides of the room, and is reached by a
+hanging stair of carved oak in one corner. You have been both at the
+Elisée Bourbon and Malmaison, and remember the library at one or other
+of those places, I forget which; this gallery is much in the same style.
+There are only two portraits, an original of the beautiful and
+melancholy head of Claverhouse, and a small full length of Rob Roy.
+Various little antique cabinets stand round about, each having a bust
+on it: Stothard's Canterbury Pilgrims are on the mantelpiece; and in
+one corner I saw a collection of really useful weapons, those of the
+forest-craft, to wit--axes and bills and so forth of every calibre.
+There is only one window pierced in a very thick wall, so that the
+place is rather sombre; the light tracery work of the gallery overhead
+harmonizes with the books well. It is a very comfortable-looking room,
+and very unlike any other I ever was in. I should not forget some
+Highland claymores, clustered round a target over the Canterbury people,
+nor a writing-box of carved wood, lined with crimson velvet, and
+furnished with silver plate of right venerable aspect, which looked as
+if it might have been the implement of old Chaucer himself, but which
+from the arms on the lid must have belonged to some Indian prince of
+the days of Leo the Magnificent at the furthest.
+
+The view to the Tweed from all the principal apartments is beautiful.
+You look out from among bowers, over a lawn of sweet turf, upon the
+clearest of all streams, fringed with the wildest of birch woods, and
+backed with the green hills of Ettricke Forest. The rest you must
+imagine. Altogether, the place destined to receive so many pilgrimages
+contains within itself beauties not unworthy of its associations. Few
+poets ever inhabited such a place; none, ere now, ever created one.
+It is the realization of dreams: some Frenchman called it, I hear,
+"a romance in stone and lime."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+SPIRIT OF DISCOVERY
+
+_Aerial Voyages of Spiders_.
+
+
+The number of the aëronautic spiders occasionally suspended in the
+atmosphere, says Mr. Murray, I believe to be almost incredible, could
+we ascertain their amount. I was walking with a friend on the 9th, and
+noticed that there were four of these insects on his hat, at the moment
+there were three on my own; and from the rapidity with which they
+covered its surface with their threads, I cannot doubt that they are
+chiefly concerned in the production of that tissue which intercepts the
+dew, and which, illuminated by the morning sun, "glitters with gold,
+and with rubies and sapphires." Indeed, I have noticed that, when the
+frequent descent of the aëronautic spider was determined, a newly rolled
+turnip field was, in a few hours, overspread by a carpet of their
+threads. It may be remarked that our little aëronaut is very greedy of
+moisture, though abstemious in other respects. Its food is perhaps
+peculiar, and only found in the superior regions of the sky. Like the
+rest of its tribe, it is doubtless carnivorous, and may subserve some
+highly important purpose in the economy of Providence; such, for
+instance, as the destruction of that truly formidable, though almost
+microscopically minute insect, the Fùria infernàlis, whose wounds are
+stated to be mortal. Its existence has been indeed questioned, but by
+no means disapproved; that, and some others, injurious to man, or to
+the inferior creation, may be its destined prey, and thus our little
+aëronaut, unheeded by the common eye, may subserve an important good.
+
+Mr. Bowman, F.L.S. says, "We arrested several of these little aëronauts
+in their flight, and placed them on the brass gnomon of the sundial, and
+had the gratification to see them prepare for, and recommence, their
+aerial voyage. Having crawled about for a short time, to reconnoitre,
+they turned their abdomens from the current of air, and elevated them
+almost perpendicularly, supporting themselves solely on the claws of
+their fore legs, at the same instant shooting out four or five, often
+six or eight, extremely fine webs, several yards long, which waved
+in the breeze, diverging from each other like a pencil of rays, and
+strongly reflecting the sunbeams. After the insects had remained
+stationary in this apparently unnatural position for about half a
+minute, they sprang off from the stage with considerable agility, and
+launched themselves into the air. In a few seconds after they were seen
+sailing majestically along, without any apparent effort, their legs
+contracted together, and lying perfectly quiet on their backs, suspended
+from their silken parachutes, and presenting to the lover of nature a
+far more interesting spectacle than the balloon of the philosopher. One
+of these natural aëronauts I followed, which, sailing in the sunbeams,
+had two distinct and widely diverging fasciculi of webs, and their
+position in the air was such, that a line uniting them would have been
+at right angles with the direction of the breeze."--_Mag. Natural
+History_.
+
+
+_The Ichneumon Fly_.
+
+There are several species of ichneumon which make thinnings among the
+caterpillars of the cabbage butterfly. The process of one species
+is this:--while the caterpillar is feeding, the ichneumon fly hovers
+over it, and, with its piercer, perforates the fatty part of the
+caterpillar's back in many places, and in each deposits an egg, by
+means of the two parts of the sheath uniting together, and thus forming
+a tube down which the egg is conveyed into the perforation made by the
+piercer of the fly. The caterpillar unconscious of what will ensue keeps
+feeding on, until it changes into a chrysalis; while in that torpid
+state, the eggs of the ichneumon are hatched, and the interior of the
+body of the caterpillar serves as food for the caterpillars of the
+ichneumon fly. When these have fed their accustomed time, and are about
+to change into the pupa state, they, by an instinct given them, attack
+the vital part of the caterpillar (a most wonderful economy in nature,
+that this process should be delayed until they have no more occasion
+for food.) They then spin themselves minute cases within the body of
+the caterpillar; and instead of a butterfly coming forth (which, if a
+female, would have probably laid six hundred eggs, thus producing as
+many caterpillars, whose food would be the cabbage,) a race of these
+little ichneumon flies issues forth, ready to perform the task assigned
+them, of keeping within due limits those fell destroyers of our
+vegetables.--_Mr. Carpenter--in Gill's Repository._
+
+
+_Hawking_.
+
+Professional falconers have been for many years natives of the village
+of _Falconsward_, near Bois le Duc, in Holland. A race of them was
+there born and bred, whence supplies have been drawn for the service of
+all Europe; but as there has been no sufficient inducement for the young
+men to follow the employment of their forefathers, numbers are dead or
+worn out; and there only remains John Pells, now in the service of John
+Dawson Downes, Esq., of Old Gunton Hill, Suffolk.
+
+The hawks which have been trained for the field, are the slight falcon
+and the goshawk, which are the species generally used in falconry. The
+former is called a long-winged hawk, or one of the _lure_; the
+latter, a short-winged hawk, or one of the _fist_.
+
+The Icelander is the largest hawk that is known, and highly esteemed by
+falconers, especially for its great powers and tractable disposition.
+The gyr falcon is less than the Icelander, but much larger than the
+slight falcon. These powerful birds are flown at herons and hares, and
+are the only hawks that are fully a match for the fork-tailed kite. The
+merlin and hobby are both small hawks and fit only for small birds, as
+the blackbird, &c. The sparrow-hawk may be also trained to hunt; his
+flight is rapid for a short distance, kills partridges well in the early
+season, and is the best of all for landrails.
+
+The slight falcon takes up his abode every year, from October and
+November until the spring, upon Westminster Abbey, and other churches in
+the metropolis. This is well known to the London pigeon-fanciers, from
+the great havoc they make in their flight.--_Sir John Sebright_
+
+
+_Technicalities of Science_.
+
+The inutility of science, written in a merely technical form, is well
+exemplified in the instance of Cicero. He was advised by his friends not
+to write his works on Greek Philosophy in Latin; because those who cared
+for it would prefer his work in Greek, and those who did not would read
+neither Greek nor Latin. The splendid success of his _De Officiis_,
+his _De Finibus_, his _De Natura Deorum_, &c., showed that his
+friends were wrong. He persevered in the popular style, and led the
+fashion.--_Mag. Nat. Hist._
+
+
+_Doubtful Discoveries_.
+
+It may serve, in some measure, to confirm M. Dutroehet's recent opinion
+of the non-existence of miscroscopic animalcula, that the celebrated
+Spallanzani persuaded himself that he could see Animálcula infusòria
+which could be seen by nobody else. He attributed his own superiority of
+vision, in this respect, to long practice in using the microscope. The
+philosopher exulted in his enviable distinction, when a peasant, to whom
+he showed his animalcula, could perceive nothing but muddy
+water.--_Ibid._
+
+
+_Faculties of Brutes_.
+
+The dog is the only animal that dreams; and he and the elephant the
+only animals that understand looks; the elephant is the only animal
+that, besides man, feels _ennui_; the dog, the only quadruped that
+has been brought to speak. Leibnitz bears witness to a hound in Saxony,
+that could speak distinctly thirty words.--_Medical Gazette._
+
+
+_Sea Air_.
+
+The atmosphere, in the vicinity of the sea, usually contains a portion
+of the muriates over which it has been wafted. It is a curious fact, but
+well ascertained, that the air best adapted to vegetables is pernicious
+to animal life, and _vice versa._ Now, upon the sea-coast,
+accordingly, animals thrive, and vegetables decline.--_Hurwood's
+Southern Coast._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+Chingford Church.
+
+
+[Illustration: Chingford Church]
+
+
+  The roof with moss is green, and twines
+  Dark ivy round the sculptur'd lines.
+
+DELTA.
+
+
+The pleasant village of CHINGFORD, in Essex, may be called a vignette of
+the topographer's "_rus in urbe_," it being only nine miles distant
+from the heart of London, and consequently almost within its vortex.
+It stands on the banks of the river Lea, and derives its name from the
+Saxon word Cing and _ford_, (signifying the king's ford,) there
+having formerly been a ford here; the adjoining meadows being designated
+the king's meads, and the Lea, the king's stream. There appears to have
+been two manors in this parish, one of which was granted by Edward
+the Confessor to the cathedral of St. Paul's, but surrendered at the
+reformation to Henry VIII.; the other, according to Domesday Book, was
+held by Orgar, the Thane; and from the latter another manor has since
+been taken.
+
+The "ivy-mantled" church, represented in the above vignette, is
+dedicated to St. Peter and St. Paul, and consists of a chancel, nave,
+and south aisle, with a low square tower at the west end, containing
+three bells. Within the church are a few interesting monuments, among
+which is one to the memory of Robert Rampton, who died in 1585 and was
+yeoman of the chamber to Edward VI., and the Queens Mary and Elizabeth.
+It stands in the south aisle, with an inscription on a brass plate
+against the wall, underneath which is an altar tomb covered with a slab
+of black marble, on which are the effigies, in brass, of Robert Rampton,
+and his wife Margaret, who died in 1590.
+
+Altogether, Chingford is one of the prettiest villages near London, and
+its church is a picturesque attraction for pedestrian tourists, and such
+as love to steal away from the maelstroom of an overgrown metropolis, to
+glide into scenes of "calm contemplation and poetic ease;" although much
+of the journey lies through avenues of bricks and mortar, and trim roads
+that swarm with busy toil.
+
+In the parish of Chingford is an estate called Scots Mayhew, or
+Brindwoods, which is held of the rector by the following singular
+tenure:--"Upon every alienation, the owner of the estate, with his wife,
+and a man and maid servant, (each upon a horse) come to the parsonage,
+where the owner does his homage, and pays his relief in manner
+following:--He blows three blasts with his horn, carries a hawk on his
+fist, and his servant has a greyhound in a slip--both for the use of the
+rector that day. He receives a chicken for his hawk, a peck of oats for
+his horse, and a loaf of bread for his greyhound. They all dine, after
+which the master blows three blasts on his horn, and they all
+depart."[5]
+
+    [5] Morant's Essex, vol. i. p. 57.
+
+For the original of the engraving, and the substance of this
+description, our thanks are due to S.I.B.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+OLD SONG.
+
+The old minstrels saw far and deep, and clear into all
+heart-mysteries--and, low-born, humble men as they were, their tragic or
+comic strains strike like electricity.--_Blackwood._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+SPIRIT OF THE
+Public Journals.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE SHAVING SHOP
+
+
+  'Tis not an half hour's work--
+  A Cupid and a fiddle, and the thing's done.
+
+FLETCHER.
+
+
+"Hold back your head, if you please, sir, that I may get this napkin
+properly fastened--there now," said Toby Tims, as, securing the pin, he
+dipped his razor into hot water, and began working up with restless
+brush the lather of his soapbox.
+
+"I dare say you have got a newspaper there," said I; "are you a
+politician, Mr. Tims?"
+
+"Oh, just a little bit of one. I get Bell's Messenger at second
+hand from a neighbour, who has it from his cousin in the Borough,
+who, I believe, is the last reader of a club of fourteen, who take
+it among them; and, being last, as I observed, sir, he has the paper
+to himself into the bargain.--Please exalt your chin, sir, and keep
+your head a little to one side--there, sir," added Toby, cammencing
+his operations with the brush, and hoarifying my barbal extremity,
+as the facetious Thomas Hood would probably express it. "Now, sir--a
+_leetle_ more round, if you please--there, sir, there. It is
+a most entertaining paper, and beats all for news. In fact, it is
+full of every thing, sir--every, every thing--accidents--charity
+sermons--markets--boxing--Bible societies--horse racing--child
+murders--the theatres--foreign wars--Bow-street
+reports--electioneering--and Day and Martin's blacking."
+
+"Are you a bit of a bruiser, Mr. Tims?"
+
+"Oh, bless your heart, sir, only a _leetle_--a very _leetle_.
+A turn-up with the gloves, or so, your honour. I'm but a light
+weight--only a light weight--seven stone and a half, sir; but a rare bit
+of stuff, though I say it myself, sir--Begging your pardon. I dare say I
+have put some of the soap into your mouth. Now, sir, now--please let me
+hold your nose, sir."
+
+"Scarcely civil, Mr. Toby," said I, "scarcely civil--Phroo! let me spit
+out the suds."
+
+"I will be done in a moment, sir--in half a moment. Well, sir, speaking
+of razors, they should be always properly tempered with hot water, a
+_leetle_ dip more or less. You see now how it glides over, smooth
+and smack as your hand.--Keep still, sir; I might have given you a nick
+just now. You don't choose a _leetle_ of the mustachy left?"
+
+"No, no--off with it all. No matrimonial news stirring in this quarter
+just now, Mr. Tims?"
+
+"Nothing extremely particular.--Now, sir, you are fit for the king's
+levee, so far as my department is concerned. But you cannot go out just
+now, sir--see how it rains--a perfect water-spout. Just feel yourself at
+home, sir, for a _leetle_, and take a peep around you. That block,
+sir, has been very much admired--extremely like the Wenus de
+Medicine--capital nose--and as for the wig department, catch me for
+that, sir. But of all them there pictures hanging around, yon is the
+favourite of myself and the connessoors."
+
+"Ay, Mr. Tims," said I, "that is truly a gem--an old lover kneeling at
+the foot of his young sweetheart, and two fellows in buckram taking a
+peep at them from among the trees."
+
+"Capital, sir--capital. I'll tell you a rare good story, sir, connected
+with that picture and my own history, with your honour's leave, sir."
+
+"With all my heart, Mr. Tims--you are very obliging."
+
+"Well then, sir, take that chair, and I will get on like a house on
+fire; but if you please, don't put me off my clew, sir.--Concerning that
+picture and my courtship, the most serious epoch of my life, there is
+a _leetle_ bit of a story which I would like to be a beacon to
+others; and if your honour is still a bachelor, and not yet stranded on
+the shoals of matrimony, it may be _Werbum Sapienti_, as O'Toole,
+the Irish schoolmaster, used to observe, when in the act of applying the
+birch to the booby's back.
+
+"Well, sir, having received a grammatical education, and been brought up
+as a peruke-maker from my earliest years--besides having seen a deal of
+high life, and the world in general, in carrying false curls, bandeaux,
+and other artificial head-gear paraphernalia, in bandboxes to boarding
+schools, and so on--a desire naturally sprung up within me, being now in
+my twenty-first year, and worth a guinea a week of wages, to look about
+for what old kind Seignor Fiddle-stringo, the minuet-master, used to
+recommend under the title of a _cara sposa_--open shop--and act
+head frizzle in an establishment of my own.
+
+"Very good, sir--In the pursuit of this virtuous purpose, I cast a
+sheep's eye over the broad face of society, and at length, from a number
+of eligible specimens, I selected three, who, whether considered in the
+light of natural beauty, or mental accomplishment, struck me forcibly as
+suitable coadjutors for a man--for a man like your humble servant."
+
+"A most royal bow that, Mr. Tims. Well, proceed, if you please."
+
+"Very good, sir--well, then, to proceed. The first of these was Miss
+Diana Tonkin, a young lady, who kept her brother's snuff-shop, at the
+sign of the African astride the Tobacco Barrel--a rare beauty, who was
+on the most intimate talking terms with half a hundred young bloods and
+beaux, who looked in during lounging hours, being students of law,
+physic, and divinity, half-pay ensigns, and theatrical understrappers,
+to replenish their boxes with Lundyfoot, whiff a Havannah cigar, or
+masticate pigtail. No wonder that she was spoiled by flattery, Miss
+Diana, for she was a bit of a beauty; and though she had but one eye--by
+heavens, what an eye that was!"
+
+"She must have been an irresistible creature, certainly, Mr. Tims,"
+said I. "Well, how did you come on?"
+
+"Irresistible! but you shall hear, sir. I foresaw that, in soliciting
+the honour of the fair damsel's hand, I should have much opposition to
+encounter from the rivalry of the three learned professions, to say
+nothing of the gentlemen of the sword and of the buskin; but, thinks
+I to myself, 'faint heart never won fair lady,' so I at once set up a
+snuff-box, looked as tip-topping as possible, and commenced canvassing.
+
+"The second _elite_ (for I know a _leetle_ French, having for
+three months, during my apprenticeship, had the honour of frizling the
+head-gear of Count Witruvius de Caucason, who occupied private
+state-lodgings at the sign of the Blue Boar in the Poultry, and who
+afterwards decamped without clearing scores)--the second _elite_
+(for I make a point, sir, of having two strings to my bow) was Mrs. Joan
+Sweetbread, a person of exquisite parts, but fiery temper, at that time
+aged thirty-three, twelve stone weight, head cook and housekeeper to Sir
+Anthony Macturk, a Scotch baronet, who rusticated in the vicinity of
+town. I made her a few evening visits, and we talked love affairs over
+muffins and a cup of excellent congou. Then what a variety of jams and
+jellies! I never returned without a disordered stomach, and wishing
+Highland heather-honey at the devil. Yet, after all, to prove a
+hoax!--for even when I was on the point of popping the question, and had
+fastened my silk Jem Belcher with a knowing _leetle_ knot to set
+out for that purpose, I learned from Francie, the stable-boy, that she
+had the evening before eloped with the coachman, and returned to her
+post that forenoon metamorphosed into Madam Trot.
+
+"I first thought, sir, of hanging myself over the first lamp-post; but,
+after a _leetle_ consideration, I determined to confound Madam
+Trot, and all other fickle fair ones, by that very night marrying Miss
+Diana. I hastened on, rushed precipitately into the shop, and on the
+subject--and hear, oh heaven, and believe, oh earth! was met, not by a
+plump denial, but was shown the door."
+
+"Upon my word, Mr. Tims," said I, "you have been a most unfortunate man.
+I wonder you recovered after such mighty reverses; but I hope----"
+
+"Hope! that is the word, sir, the very word, I still had hope; so, after
+ten days' horrible melancholy, in which I cropped not a few heads in a
+novel and unprecedented style, I at it again, and laid immediate and
+close siege to the last and loveliest of the trio--one by whom I was
+shot dead at first sight, and of whom it might be said, as I once heard
+Kean justly observe in a very pretty tragedy, and to a numerous
+audience, 'We ne'er shall look upon her like again!'"
+
+"Capital, Mr. Tims. Well, how did you get on?"
+
+"A moment's patience, with your honour's leave.--Ah! truly might it be
+said of her, that she was descended from the high and great--her
+grandfather having been not only six feet three, without the shoes, but
+for forty odd years principal bell-ringer in the steeple of St. Giles's,
+Cripplegate; and her grandmother, for long and long, not only head
+dry-nurse to one of the noblest families in all England, but _bona
+fide_ twenty-two stone avoirdupois--so that it was once proposed, by
+the undertaker, to bury her at twice! As to this nonpareil of lovely
+flesh and blood, her name was Lucy Mainspring, the daughter of a
+horologer, sir,--a watchmaker--_vulgo_ so called--and though
+fattish, she was very fair--fair! by Jupiter, (craving your honour's
+pardon for swearing,) she fairly made me give all other thoughts the
+cut, and twisted the passions of my heart with the red-hot torturing
+irons of love. 'Pon honour, sir, I almost grow foolish when I think of
+those days; but love, sir, nothing can resist love."
+
+"I hope, Mr. Tims, you were in better luck with Miss Mainspring?"
+
+"A _leetle_ a _leetle_ patience, your honour, and all will be
+out as quick as directly--in the twinkling of a bed-post.--For three
+successive nights I sat up in a brown study, with a four-in-the-pound
+candle burning before me till almost cock-crow, composing a love-letter,
+a most elaborate affair, the pure overflowing of _la belle passion_,
+all about Venus, Cupids, bows and arrows, hearts, darts, and them things,
+which, having copied neatly over on a handsome sheet of foolscap, turned
+up with gilt, (for, though I say it myself, I scribble a smart fist,) I
+made a blotch of red wax on the back as large as a dollar, that thereon
+I might the more indelibly impress a seal, with a couple of pigeons
+cooing upon it, and '_toujours wotre_' for the motto. This I popped
+into the post-office, and waited patiently--may I add confidently?--for
+the result.
+
+"No answer having come as I expected _per_ return, I began to smell
+that I was in the wrong box; so, on the following evening, I had a
+polite visit from her respectable old father, Daniel Mainspring, who
+asked me what my intentions were?--'To commence wig-maker on my own
+bottom,' answered I.--'But with respect to my daughter, sir?'--'Why, to
+be sure, to make her mistress, sir.'--'Mistress!' quoth he, 'did I hear
+you right, sir?'--'I hope you are not hard of hearing, Mr. Mainspring.
+I wish, sir--between us, sir--you understand, sir--to marry her,
+sir.'--'Then you can't have her, sir.'--'But I must, sir, for I can't
+do without her, sir.'--'Then you may buy a rope.'--'Ah! you would not
+sign my death-warrant--wouldn't you not now, Mr. Mainspring?'--'Before
+going,' said he, rummaging his huge coat-pockets with both hands at
+once, 'there is your letter, which I read over patiently, instead of my
+daughter, who has never seen it; and I hope you will excuse the liberty
+I take of calling you a great fool, and wishing you a good morning.'
+
+"Now, though a lad of mettle, you know, sir, it would not have been
+quite the thing to have called out my intended father-in-law; so, with
+amazing forbearance, bridling my passion, I allowed him to march off
+triumphantly, and stood, with the letter in my hand, looking down the
+alley after him, strutting along, staff in hand, like a recruiting
+sergeant, as if he had been a phoenix.
+
+"A man of my penetration was not long in scenting out who was the
+formidable rival to whom Daddy Mainspring alluded. _Sacre_! to
+think the mercenary old hunks could dream of sacrificing my lovely
+Lucy to such a hobgoblin of a fellow as a superannuated dragoon
+quartermaster, with a beak like Bardolph's in the play. But I had some
+confidence in my own qualifications; and as I gave a sly glance down at
+my nether person, 'Dash-the-wig-of-him!' thought I to myself, 'if he can
+sport a leg like that of Toby Tims.' I accordingly determined not to be
+discomfited, and took the earliest opportunity of presenting Miss Lucy,
+through a sure channel, with a passionate billet doux, a patent pair of
+gilt bracelets, and a box of Ruspini's tooth-powder. By St. Patrick and
+all the powers, it was shocking to suppose that such an angel as the
+cherry-cheeked Lucy should be stolen from me by such an apology for a
+gallant, as Quartermaster Bottlenose of the Tipperary Rangers. 'Twas
+murder, by Jupiter."
+
+"I perfectly agree with you, Mr. Tims; Did you challenge him to the
+duello?"
+
+"A _leetle_ patience, if you please, sir, and you shall hear
+all. During the violence of my love-fits, I committed a variety of
+professional mistakes. I sent at one time a pot of bear's grease away
+by the mail, in a wig-box, to a member of parliament in Yorkshire; and
+burned a whole batch of baked hair to ashes, while singing Moore's 'When
+he who adores thee,' in attitude, before a block, dressed up for the
+occasion with a fashionable wig upon it--to say nothing of my having, in
+a fit of abstraction, given a beautiful young lady, who was going that
+same evening to a Lord Mayor's ball, the complete charity-workhouse cut,
+leaving her scalp as bare as the back of my hand. But cheer up!--to my
+happy astonishment, sir, matters worked like a charm. What a
+parley-vooing and billet-dooing passed between us! We would have
+required a porter for the sole purpose. Then we had stolen interviews
+of two hours' duration each, for several successive nights, at the
+old horologer's back-door, during which, besides a multiplicity of
+small-talk--thanks to his deafness--I tried my utmost to entrap her
+affections, by reciting sonnets, and spouting bits of plays in the
+manner of the tragedy performers. These were the happy times, sir! The
+world was changed for me. Paddington canal seemed the river Pactolus,
+and Rag-Fair Elysium!
+
+"The old boy, however, ignorant of our orgies, was still bothering
+his brains to bring about matrimony between his daughter and the
+veteran--who, though no younger than Methusalem, as stiff as the
+Monument, and as withered as Belzoni's Piccadilly mummy, had yet
+the needful, sir--had abundance of the wherewithal--crops of yellow
+shiners--lots of the real--sported a gig, and kept on board wages a
+young shaver of all work, with a buff jacket, turned up with sky-blue
+facings. Only think, sir--only ponder for a moment what a formidable
+rival I had!"
+
+"I hope you beat him off, however," said I. "The greater danger the more
+honour you know, Mr. Tims."
+
+"Of that anon, sir.--Lucy, on her part, angelic creature, professed that
+she could not dream of being undutiful towards kind old Pa; and that,
+unless desperate measures were resorted to, _quamprimum_, in the
+twinkling of a bed-post she would be under the disagreeable necessity to
+bundle and go with the disabled man of war to the temple of Hymen.
+Sacrilegious thought! I could not permit it to enter my bosom, and
+(pardon me for a moment, sir) when I looked down, and caught a glance of
+my own natty-looking, tight little leg, and dapper Hessians, I
+recommended her strongly to act on the principle of the Drury-lane
+play-bill, which says, 'All for Love, or the World well lost.'
+
+"Well, sir, hark ye, just to show how things come about. Shortly after
+this, on the anniversary of my honoured old master, Zachariah Pigtail's
+birth, when we were allowed to strike work at noon, I determined, as
+a _dernier resort_, as a clincher, sir, to act the genteel, and
+invite Miss Lucy, in her furs and falderals, to accompany me to the
+Exhibition of Pictures. Heavens, sir, how I dressed on that day! The
+Day and Martin of my boots reflected on the shady side of the street.
+I took half an hour in tying and retying my neckcloth _en mode_.
+My handkerchief smelt of lavender, and my hair of oil of thyme--my
+waistcoat of bergamot, and my inexpressibles of musk. I was a perfect
+civet for perfumery. My coat, cut in the jemmy fashion, I buttoned to
+suffocation; but 'pon honour, believe me, sir, no stays, and my shirt
+neck had been starched _per order_, to the consistence of tin.
+In short, to be brief, I found, or fancied myself killing--a most
+irresistible fellow.
+
+"I did not dare, however, to call for Miss Lucy at old Pa's, but waited
+for her at the corner of the street, patiently drumming on my boot, with
+a knowing little bit of bamboo; and projecting my left arm to her, off
+we marched in triumph.
+
+"The Exhibition Rooms were crowded with the _ton_; and to be sure a
+great many fine things were there. Would you had seen them, sir. There
+were admirals in blue, and generals in red--portraits of my lord this,
+and my lady that--land scenes, and sea scenes, and hunting scenes, with
+thips, and woods, and old castles, all amazingly like life. In short,
+sir, Providence seems to have guided us to the spot, where we saw a
+picture--_the_ picture, sir--the pattern copy of that there
+picture, sir--and heavens! such a piece of work--but of that anon--it
+did the business, sir. No sooner had I perused it through my
+quizzing-glass, which, I confess, that I had brought with me more for
+ornament than use--having eyes like a hawk--than I pathetically
+exclaimed to Lucy--'Behold, my love, the history of our fates!' Lucy
+said, 'Tuts, Toby Tims,' and gave a giggle; but I went on in solemn
+gravity, before a circle of seemingly electrified spectators.
+
+"'Spose now, Miss Lucy,' said I, holding her by the finger of her
+Limerick glove; 'spose now, that I had invited you to take an outside
+seat on the Hampstead Flying Phoenix with me, to go out to a rural
+junketing, on May day in the afternoon. Very well--there we find
+ourselves alive and kicking, forty couple footing it on the green,
+and choosing, according to our tastes, reels, jigs, minuets, or
+bumpkins. 'Spose then, that I have handed you down to the bottom of
+five-and-twenty couple at a country-dance, to the tune of Sir Roger
+de Coverley, Morgiana in Ireland, Petronella, or the Triumph; and,
+notwithstanding our having sucked a couple of oranges a-piece, we are
+both quite in a broth of perspiration. Very good--so says I to you,
+making a genteel bow, 'Do you please to walk aside, and cool yourself in
+them there green arbours, and I will be with you as quick as directly,
+with a glass of lemonade or cherry brandy?' So says you to me, dropping
+a curtsey _a la mode_, 'With ineffable pleasure, sir;' and away you
+trip into the shade like a sunbeam.
+
+"'Now, Lucy, my love, take a good look of that picture. That is you,
+'spose, seated on the turf, a _leetle_ behind the pillar dedicated
+to Apollar; and you, blooming like a daffodilly in April, are waiting
+with great thirst, and not a little impatience, for my promised
+appearance, from the sign of the Hen and Chickens, with the cordials,
+and a few biscuits on a salver--when, lo! an old bald-pated, oily-faced,
+red-nosed Cameronian ranter, whom by your elegant negligee capering you
+have fairly danced out of his dotard senses, comes pawing up to you like
+Polito's polar bear, drops on his knees, and before you can avert your
+nose from a love-speech, embalmed in the fumes of tobacco and purl, the
+hoary villain has beslobbered your lily-white fingers, and is protesting
+unalterable affection, at the rate of twelve miles an hour, inclusive of
+stoppages. Now, Lucy, love, did you ever,--say upon your honour,--did
+you ever witness such a spectacle of humanity? Tell me now?
+
+"'Very well. Now, love, take a peep down the avenue, and yon is me, yon
+tight, handsome little figure, with the Spanish cap and cloak, attended
+by a trusty servant in the same costume, to whom I am pointing where he
+is to bring the cherry-brandy; when, lo! we perceive the hideous
+apparition!--and straightway rushing forward, like two tigers on a
+jackass, we seize the wigless dotard, and, calling for a blanket, the
+whole respectable company of forty couples and upwards, come crowding to
+the spot, and lend a willing hand in rotation, four by four, in tossing
+Malachi, the last of the lovers, till the breath of life is scarcely
+left in his vile body.
+
+"'Now Lucy,' says I, in conclusion, 'don't you see the confounded
+absurdity of ever wasting a thought on a broken-down, bandy-legged,
+beggarly dragoon? Just look at him, with an old taffeta whigmaleerie
+tied to his back, like Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind!
+Isn't he a pretty figure, now, to go a-courting? You would never forsake
+the like of me--would you now? A spruce, natty little body of a
+creature--to be the trollop of a spindle-shanked veteran, who, besides
+having one foot in the grave, and a nose fit for three, might be your
+great-grandfather?'
+
+"It was a sight, sir, that would have melted the heart of a
+wheel-barrow. Before the whole assembled exhibition-room, Lucy first
+looked blue, and then blushed consent. 'Toby,' said she, 'don't mention
+it, Toby, dear,--I am thine for ever and a day!' Angelic sounds, which
+at once sent Bottlenose to Coventry. His chance was now weak indeed,
+quite like Grantham gruel, three groats to a gallon of water. In an
+ecstacy of passion, sir, I threw my silk handkerchief on the floor, and,
+kneeling on it with one knee, I raised her gloveless fingers to my lips!
+
+"The whole company clapped their hands, and laughed so heartily in
+sympathy with my good luck! Oh! sir, had you but seen it--what a sight
+for sore eyes that was!"
+
+"Then you would indeed be the happy man at last, Mr. Tims," said I. "Did
+you elope on the instant?"
+
+"Just done, please your honour.--Next morning, according to special
+agreement, we eloped in a gig; and, writing a penitent letter from the
+Valentine and Orson at Chelsea, Daddy Mainspring found himself glad to
+come to terms. Thrice were the banns published; and such a marriage as
+we had! 'Pon honour, sir, I would you had been present. It was a thing
+to be remembered till the end of one's life. A deputation of the
+honourable the corporation of barbers duly attended, puffed out in full
+fig; and even the old quartermaster, pocketing his disappointment, was,
+at his own special petition, a forgiven and favoured guest. Seldom has
+such dancing been seen within the bounds of London; and, with two
+fiddles, a tambourin, and a clarionet, we made all the roofs ring, till
+an early hour next morning--and that we did."
+
+"You are a lucky fellow, Mr. Tims," said I.
+
+"And more than that, sir. When old Mainspring kicks, we are to have the
+counting of his mouldy coppers--so we have the devil's luck and our own;
+and as for false curls, braids, bandeaux, Macassar oil, cold cream,
+bear's-grease, tooth-powder, and Dutch toys, show me within the walls
+of the City a more respectable, tip-topping perfumery depot and
+wig-warehouse, than that wherein you now sit, and of which I, Tobias
+Tims, am, with due respect, the honoured master, and your humble
+servant!"
+
+_Blackwood's Magazine_.
+
+In addition to the foregoing, (which is one of the happiest pieces
+in Goldsmith's style that we have read for a long time,) there is in
+_Blackwood's Magazine_ an article of extraordinary graphic spirit,
+occupying twenty-two pages. But we will attempt to abridge it for our
+columns, as well as to give a sprinkling from the _Noctes_ in the
+same number. All are in the best style of their vigorous masters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ELEGY
+
+
+_To the Memory of Miss Emily Kay, (cousin to Miss Ellen Gee, of Kew,)
+who lately died at Ewell, and was buried in Essex_.
+
+D.T. Fabula narratur.
+
+
+  Sad nymphs of UL, U have much to cry for,
+    Sweet MLE K U never more shall C!
+  O SX maids! come hither and VU,
+    With tearful I this M T LEG.
+
+  Without XS she did XL alway--
+    Ah me! it truly vexes 1 2 C
+  How soon so DR a creature may DK,
+    And only leave behind XUVE!
+
+  Whate'er I O to do she did discharge,
+    So that an NME it might NDR:
+  Then Y an SA write? then why N?
+    Or with my briny tears her BR BDU?
+
+  When her Piano-40 she did press,
+    Such heavenly sounds did MN8, that she,
+  Knowing her Q, soon I U 2 confess
+    Her XLNC in an XTC.
+
+  Her hair was soft as silk, not YRE,
+    It gave no Q nor yet 2 P to view:
+  She was not handsome: shall I tell U Y?
+    U R 2 know her I was all SQ.
+
+  L8 she was, and prattling like AJ.
+    O, little MLE! did you 4 C
+  The grave should soon MUU, cold as clay.
+    And U should cease to B an NTT!
+
+  While taking T at Q with LN G,
+    The MT grate she rose to put a(:)
+  Her clothes caught fire--I ne'er again shall C
+    Poor MLE, who now is dead as Solon.
+
+  O, LN G! in vain you set at 0
+    GR and reproach for suffering her 2 B
+  Thus sacrificed: to JL U should be brought
+    And burnt U 0 2 B in FEG.
+
+  Sweet MLE K into SX they bore,
+    Taking good care her monument to Y 10,
+  And as her tomb was much 2 low B 4,
+    They lately brought fresh bricks the walls to I 10.
+
+_New Monthly Mag_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+Notes of a Reader.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A NEW CYCLOPAEDIA.
+
+
+A "Cabinet Cyclopaedia" is announced for publication, under the
+superintendance of Dr. Lardner. It is to consist of a series of
+"Cabinets" of the several sciences, &c. and upwards of 100 volumes, to
+be published monthly, are already announced in the prospectus; or nine
+years publishing. The design is not altogether new, it being from
+the _Encyclopaedie Methodique_, a series of dictionaries, now
+publishing in Paris; and about four years since a similar work was
+commenced in England, but only three volumes or dictionaries of
+the series were published. If this be the flimsy age, the "Cabinet
+Cyclopaedia" is certainly not one of the flimsiest of its projects;
+and for the credit of the age, we wish the undertaking all success.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+"A GENTLEMAN"
+
+
+Is a term very vaguely applied, and indistinctly understood. There
+are Gentlemen by birth, Gentlemen by education, Gentlemen's Gentlemen,
+Gentlemen of the Press, Gentlemen Pensioners, Gentlemen, whom nobody
+thinks it worth while to call otherwise; _Honourable_ Gentlemen,
+Walking Gentlemen of strolling companies, Light-fingered Gentlemen,
+&c. &c. very respectable Gentlemen, and God Almighty's
+Gentlemen.--_Blackwood's Magazine_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ROMAN THEATRES.
+
+
+There are five theatres at Rome to a population very nearly as
+considerable as that of Dublin. Each of these establishments is the
+property of one of the noble families in the city, who prefer doing by
+themselves what is usually done in England by committee.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+CATS AND FELINE ANIMALS (_once more!_)
+
+
+Animals of the cat kind are, in a state of nature almost continually in
+action both by night and by day. They either walk, creep, or advance
+rapidly by prodigious bounds; but they seldom _run_, owing, it
+is believed, to the extreme flexibility of their limbs and vertebral
+column, which cannot preserve the rigidity necessary to that species of
+movement. Their sense of sight, especially during twilight, is acute;
+their hearing very perfect, and their perception of smell less so than
+in the dog tribe. Their most obtuse sense is that of taste; the lingual
+nerve in the lion, according to Des Moulins, being no larger than that
+of a middle-sized dog. In fact, the tongue of these animals is as
+much an organ of mastication as of taste; its sharp and horny points,
+inclined backwards, being used for tearing away the softer parts of the
+animal substances on which they prey. The perception of touch is said
+to reside very delicately in the small bulbs at the base of the
+mustachios.--_Wilson's Zoology_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+TEA AND TAY.
+
+_From Blackwood's last "Noctes."_
+
+
+_North_. As you love me, my dear James, call it not tea, but
+_tay_. That though obsolete, is the classical pronunciation. Thus
+Pope sings in the _Rape of the Lock_, canto i.
+
+  "Soft yielding minds to water glide away,
+  And sip with nymphs their elemental tea."
+
+
+And also in canto iii--
+
+  "Where thou great Anna, whom these realms obey,
+  Dost sometimes counsel take, and sometimes tea."
+
+
+And finally in the Basset Table--
+
+  "Tell, tell your grief, attentive will I stay,
+  Though time is precious, and I want some tea."
+
+
+_Shepherd_. A body might think frae thae rhymes, that Pop had been
+an Eerishman.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+"MERRY ENGLAND."
+
+
+The people of England, we fear, have at last forfeited the proud title
+of "merry," to distinguish them from other and less happy, because more
+serious, nations; for now they sadden at amusement, and sicken and turn
+pale at a jest; so entirely have they forfeited it, that an ingenious
+critic cannot believe they ever possessed it; and has set himself
+accordingly to prove, that, in the old English, _merrie_ does not
+mean merry, but sorrowful, or heart-broken, or some such
+thing.--_Edin. Rev._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+SYMPATHY.
+
+
+  There is a tear, more sweet and soft
+    Than beauty's smiling lip of love;
+  By angel's eyes first wept and oft
+    On earth by eyes like those above:
+  It flows for virtue in distress.
+    It soothes, like hope, our sufferings here;
+  'Twas given, and it is shed, to bless--
+    'Tis sympathy's celestial tear.
+
+_Amulet._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+MR. ABERNETHY
+
+
+Was one day descanting upon the advantages of a public education for
+boys, when he concluded by saying, "And what think you of Eton? I think
+I shall send my son there to learn manners." "It would have been as
+well, my dear," responded his wife, "had you gone there too."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ENGLISH BENEVOLENCE.
+
+
+For several years previous to 1823, the crops in Ireland had been
+scanty, particularly those of potatoes. In 1821 the potato crop was _a
+complete failure_; and in 1822 it is impossible to tell, and dreadful
+to think, of what might have been the consequence, had not the English
+people come forward, and by the most stupendous act of national
+generosity which the world ever saw, and which none but a country so
+rich as England could afford, arrested "the plague of hunger," which
+must otherwise have desolated the country.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+PAINTING IN FRESCO.
+
+
+The revival of this beautiful art is strongly recommended by a writer
+in the _Edinburgh Review_, for the internal decoration of private
+residences. "As we have begun to build houses upon a handsome scale in
+London, the lovers of art may venture to hope, that instead of spending
+enormous sums solely on the upholsterer for his fading ornaments,
+something may now be spared to the artist, for conferring on the walls
+unfading decorations of a far more delightful and intellectual kind. If
+the work be well executed, it will not suffer injury from being washed
+with clean and cold water." The reviewer then goes on to suggest "small
+foundations, like the fellowships at our universities. The fellow, a
+young artist of promise, might spend two or three years in painting the
+interior of a church, or other public building, maintaining himself
+meanwhile on his fellowship, or two or three hundred pounds a year."
+"If, however, the objections to painting our churches be deemed
+insuperable, we have buildings designed for civil purposes in abundance,
+which are well adapted for this species of decoration." He then
+instances Westminster Hall, the walls of which might be covered with
+fresco; and the outsides of houses in many German cities and towns in
+the German cantons of Switzerland, the outsides of which are painted
+with scriptural and historical subjects. "Painting," observes he, "were
+the use of it universal, would be a powerful means of instruction to
+children and the lower orders; and were all the fine surfaces, which are
+now plain and absolutely wasted, enriched with the labours of the art,
+if they once began to appear, they would accumulate rapidly; and were
+the ornamented edifices open to all, as freely as they ought to be, a
+wide field of new and agreeable study would offer itself."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+PHILANTHROPY.
+
+
+  Hast thou power? the weak defend,
+  Light?--give light: thy knowledge lend.
+  Rich?--remember Him who gave.
+  Free?--be brother to the slave.
+
+_Amulet._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+LITERARY CLUBS.
+
+
+O what curses, not loud, but deep, has not old Simpkin, of the Crown
+and Anchor, in his day, and Willis and Kay in later times, groaned at
+the knot of authors who were occupying one of his best dining-rooms
+up-stairs, and leaving the Port, and claret, and Madeira to a death-like
+repose in the cellar, though the waiter had repeatedly popped his head
+into the apartment with an admonitory "Did you ring, gentlemen?" to
+awaken them to a becoming sense of the social duties of man.--_New
+Monthly Mag_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ALLIGATORS SWALLOWING STONES.
+
+
+The Indians on the banks of the Oronoko assert, that previously to an
+alligator going in search of prey, it always swallows a large stone,
+that it may acquire additional weight to aid it in diving and dragging
+its victims under water. A traveller being somewhat incredulous on this
+point, Bolivar, to convince him, shot several with his rifle, and in all
+of them were found stones, varying in weight according to the size of
+the animal. The largest killed was about 17 feet in length, and had
+within him a stone weighing about 60 or 70 pounds.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+CRICKET.
+
+
+Miss Mitford, in one of her charming sketches, tells us of a
+cricket-ball being thrown five hundred yards. This is what the people
+who write for Drury-lane and Covent-garden would call "pitching it
+pretty strong."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ADVANTAGES OF CHEAP BOOKS.
+
+
+When Goldsmith boasted of having seen a splendid copy of his poems in
+the cabinet of some great lord, saying emphatically, "This is fame, Dr.
+Johnson," the doctor told him that, for his part, he would have been
+more disposed to self-gratulation had he discovered any of the progeny
+of his mind thumbed and tattered in the cabin of a peasant.--_Q.
+Rev._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+REMEMBRANCE.
+
+
+  I recollect my happy home,
+    My pleasures as a child;
+  The forest where I used to roam,
+    The rocks so bleak and wild.
+  That home is tenantless; the spot
+    It graced is rude and bare;
+  The lov'd ones gone, our name forgot.
+    And desolation there.
+
+_Forget Me Not_--1829.
+
+In how many thousand hearts will this lament find an echo!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+The Gatherer
+
+
+  A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.
+
+SHAKSPEARE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+QUID PRO QUO.
+
+
+A canon of the cathedral of Seville, who was very affected in his dress,
+and particular in his shoes, could not in the whole city find a workman
+to his liking. An unfortunate shoemaker to whom he applied, after
+quitting many others, having brought him a pair of shoes which did not
+please his taste, the canon became furious, and seizing one of the tools
+of the shoemaker, gave him with it so many blows on the head, that the
+poor shoemaker fell dead on the floor. The unhappy man left a widow,
+four daughters, and a son fourteen years of age, the eldest of the
+indigent family. They made their complaints to the chapter; the canon
+was prosecuted, and condemned _not to appear in the choir for a
+year_.
+
+The young shoemaker, having attained to man's estate, was scarcely able
+to get a livelihood; and overwhelmed with wretchedness, sat down on the
+day of a procession at the door of the cathedral of Seville, in the
+moment the procession passed by. Among the other canons he perceived the
+murderer of his father. At the sight of this man, filial affection,
+rage, and despair got so far the better of his reason, that he fell
+furiously on the priest, and stabbed him to the heart. The young man was
+seized, convicted of the crime, and immediately condemned to be
+quartered alive. Peter, whom we call the cruel, and whom the Spaniards,
+with more reason, call the lover of justice, was then at Seville. The
+affair came to his knowledge, and after learning the particulars, he
+determined to be himself the judge of the young shoemaker. When he
+proceeded to give judgment, he first annulled the sentence just
+pronounced by the clergy; and after asking the young man what profession
+he was, "_I forbid you_," said he, "_to make shoes for a year to
+come._"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+When Demetrius conquered the city of Magara, and every thing had been
+plundered by his soldiers, he ordered the philosopher Stilpon to be
+called before him, and asked him whether he had not lost his property in
+this confusion? "No," replied Stilpon, "as all I possess is in my head."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+LORD MAYOR'S DAY.
+
+
+A country gentleman, much averse to city revelry, made the following
+couplet:
+
+  Music hath charms to sooth the savage beast,
+  And therefore proper at a city feast.
+
+
+A city gentleman, who had laid up a store of wealth, replied:--
+
+  The chink of gold with gold, transporting sound!
+    Exceeds the Timbrel, or the Syren's voice
+  Harmonious, when collective plates go round,
+    And Hock and Turtle make the heart rejoice.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+An inveterate sportsman, hearing early his favourite cry of beagles from
+the wood, exclaimed:--
+
+  Hark, friend, what heavenly music meets the ear;
+  Haste, farmer, we shall lose it all, I fear.
+
+
+The rustic, who dreads hounds over his new-sown wheat, replies:--
+
+  Music! I cannot hear it for the noise
+  Of those curs'd dogs, loud shouts, and bellowing boys.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Antigonus, being in his tent, heard two soldiers, who were standing
+outside, speak very disrespectfully of him. After he had listened some
+time, he opened the tent and said to them, "If you wish to speak thus of
+me, you might at least go a little aside."--_Sulzer._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A supplementary number of the Mirror, containing the "_Spirit of the
+Annuals_," with a fine engraving, will be published with our Number
+on Saturday, November 15."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Purchasers of the Mirror, who may wish to complete their sets are
+informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and may be purchased
+separately. The whole of the numbers are now in print, and can be
+procured by giving an order to any Bookseller or Newsvender.
+
+Complete sets Vol I. to XI. in boards, price £2. 19s. 6d. half bound,
+£3. 17s.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS_.
+
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+near Somerset House.
+
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+  Price 5s. boards.
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+
+Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts.
+
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+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement,
+and Instruction, by Various
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11312 ***
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+      The Mirror of Literature, Issue 339.
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+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11312 ***</div>
+
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <span class="pagenum"><a id="page289" name="page289"></a>[pg
+    289]</span>
+    <h1>
+      THE MIRROR<br />
+       OF<br />
+       LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+    </h1>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <table width="100%" summary="Banner">
+      <tr>
+        <td align="left">
+          <b>VOL. XII, NO. 339.</b>
+        </td>
+        <td align="center">
+          <b>SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1828.</b>
+        </td>
+        <td align="right">
+          <b>[PRICE 2d.</b>
+        </td>
+      </tr>
+    </table>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      Great Milton.
+    </h2>
+    <div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
+      <a href="images/339-1.png"><img width="100%"
+      src="images/339-1.png" alt="Great Milton." /></a>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Great Milton, a picturesque village, near Thame, in
+      Oxfordshire, is entitled to notice in the annals of
+      literature, as the family seat of the MILTONS, ancestors of
+      Britain's illustrious epic poet. Of this original abode, our
+      engraving is an accurate representation. One of Milton's
+      ancestors forfeited his estate in the turbulent times of York
+      and Lancaster. "Which side he took," says Johnson, "I know
+      not; his descendant inherited no veneration for the White
+      Rose." His grandfather was under ranger of the forest of
+      Shotover, Oxon, who was a zealous Papist, and disinherited
+      his son for becoming a Protestant. Milton's father being thus
+      deprived of his family property, was compelled to quit his
+      studies at Christ Church, Oxford, whence he went to London,
+      and became a scrivener. He was eminent for his skill in
+      music;<a id="footnotetag1"
+      name="footnotetag1"></a><a href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a>
+      and from his reputation in his profession, he grew rich, and
+      retired. He was likewise a classical scholar, as his son
+      addresses him in one of his most elaborate Latin verses. He
+      married a lady of the name of Caston, of a Welsh family, by
+      whom he had two sons, John, THE POET,<a id="footnotetag2"
+      name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a>
+      and Christopher, who studied the law, became a bencher of the
+      Inner Temple, was knighted at a very advanced age, and raised
+      by James II. first to be a Baron of the Exchequer, and
+      afterwards one of the Judges of the Common Pleas. He was much
+      persecuted by the republicans for his adherence to the royal
+      cause, but his composition with them was effected by his
+      brother's interest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Besides these two sons, he had a daughter, Anne, who was
+      married to a Mr. Edward Philips, of Shrewsbury; by him she
+      had two sons, John and Edward, who were educated by the poet,
+      and from whom is derived the only authentic account of his
+      domestic manners.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      MILTON was thus by birth a gentleman; but had his descent
+      been otherwise, his works would ennoble him to posterity.
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          The lord, by giddy fortune courted,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Stalks through a part by thousands played;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The minstrel, proud and unsupported,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Stands forth the Noble God has made<a id="footnotetag3"
+          name="footnotetag3"></a><a href="#footnote1"><sup>3</sup></a>
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      We sought our illustration of GREAT MILTON in the
+      "Oxfordshire" of that voluminous and expensive work, "the
+      Beauties of England and Wales;" but, strange to say, the
+      family name of Milton is not even mentioned there, although
+      the house is still
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          By chance or Nature's changing course untrimm'd.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page290" name="page290"></a>[pg
+      290]</span> The editor, however, tells us, on the authority
+      of Leland, that there was at Great Milton a priory "many
+      yeres syns;" and quotes the following quaint lines from a
+      tablet in the church:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        Here lye mother and babe, both without sins, Next birth
+        will make her and her infant, twins.
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ANCIENT FEASTINGS IN GUILDHALL, &amp;c.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The first time that Guildhall was used on festive occasions
+      was by Sir John Shaw Goldsmith, knighted in the field of
+      Bosworth. After building the essentials of good kitchens, and
+      other offices, in the year 1500, he gave here the mayor's
+      feast, which before had usually been done in Grocers' Hall.
+      None of these bills of fare (says Pennant) have reached me;
+      but doubtless they were very magnificent. They at length grew
+      to such excess, that in the time of Queen Mary a sumptuary
+      law was made to restrain the expense both of provisions and
+      <i>liveries</i>; but I suspect, (says Pennant,) as it
+      lessened the honour of the city, it was not long observed,
+      for in 1554, the city thought proper to renew the order of
+      council, by way of reminding their fellow citizens of their
+      relapse into luxury. Among the great feasts given here on
+      public occasions, may be reckoned that given in 1612, on
+      occasion of the unhappy marriage of the Prince Palatine with
+      Elizabeth, daughter of James I. The next was in 1641, when
+      Charles I. returned from his imprudent and inefficacious
+      journey into Scotland. But our ancestors far surpassed these
+      feasts. Richard, Earl of Cornwall, brother to Henry III. had,
+      at his marriage feast, (as is recorded,) 30,000 dishes of
+      meat. Nevil, archbishop of York, had, at his consecration, a
+      feast sufficient for 10,000 people. One of the abbots of St.
+      Augustine, at Canterbury, invited 5,000 guests to his
+      installation dinner. And King Richard II., at a Christmas
+      feast, had daily 26 oxen, 300 sheep, besides fowls, and all
+      other provisions proportionably. So anciently, at a call of
+      sergeants-at-law, each sergeant (says Fortescue) spent 1,600
+      crowns in feasting.
+    </p>
+    <h4>
+      P.T.W.
+    </h4>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      MAXIMS TO LIVE BY.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To have too much forethought is the part of a wretch; to have
+      too little is the part of a fool.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Self-will is so ardent and active that it will break a world
+      to pieces to make a stool to sit on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Remember always to mix good sense with good things, or they
+      will become disgusting.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If there is any person to whom you feel a dislike, that is
+      the person of whom you ought never to speak.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Irritability urges us to take a step as much too soon, as
+      sloth does too late.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Say the strongest things you can with candour and kindness to
+      a man's face, and make the best excuse you can for him with
+      truth and justice, behind his back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Men are to be estimated, as Johnson says, by the mass of
+      character. A block of tin may have a grain of silver, but
+      still it is tin; and a block of silver may have an alloy of
+      tin; but still it is silver. Some men's characters are
+      excellent, yet not without alloy. Others base, yet tend to
+      great ends. Bad men are made the same use of as scaffolds;
+      they are employed as means to erect a building, and then are
+      taken down and destroyed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If a man has a quarrelsome temper, let him alone; the world
+      will soon find him employment. He will soon meet with some
+      one stronger than himself, who will repay him better than you
+      can. A man may fight duels all his life if he is disposed to
+      quarrel.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A person who objects to tell a friend of his faults, because
+      he has faults of his own, acts as a surgeon would, who should
+      refuse to dress another's wound because he had a dangerous
+      one himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Some evils are irremediable, they are best neither seen nor
+      heard; by seeing and hearing things that you cannot remove,
+      you will create implacable adversaries; who being guilty
+      aggressors, never forgive.
+    </p>
+    <h4>
+      W.J.
+    </h4>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      Manners &amp; Customs of all Nations.
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      CUSTOMS RELATING TO THE BEARD.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was a custom among the Romans to consecrate the first
+      growth of their beard to some god; thus Nero at the Gynick
+      games, which he exhibited in the Septa, cut off the first
+      growth of his beard, which he placed in a golden box, adorned
+      with pearls, and then consecrated it in the Capitol to
+      Jupiter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The nations in the east used mostly to nourish their beards
+      with great care and veneration, and it was a punishment among
+      them, for licentiousness and adultery, to have the beard of
+      the offending parties publicly cut off. Such a sacred regard
+      had they for the preservation
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page291" name="page291"></a>[pg
+      291]</span> of their beards, that if a man pledged it for the
+      payment of a debt, he would not fail to pay it. Among the
+      Romans a bearded man was a proverbial expression for a man of
+      virtue and simplicity. The Romans during grief and mourning
+      used to let their hair and beard grow, (Livy) while the
+      Greeks on the contrary used to cut off their hair and shave
+      their beards on such occasions.<a id="footnotetag4"
+      name="footnotetag4"></a><a href="#footnote4"><sup>4</sup></a>(Seneca.)
+      When Alexander the Great was going to fight against the
+      Persians, one of his officers brought him word that all was
+      ready for battle, and demanded if he required anything
+      further. On which Alexander replied, "nothing but that the
+      Macedonians cut off their beards&mdash;for there is not a
+      better handle to take a man by than the beard." This shows
+      Alexander intended close fighting. Shaving was not introduced
+      among the Romans till late. Pliny tells us that P. Ticinias
+      was the first who brought a barber to Rome, which was in the
+      454th year from the building of the city. Scipio Africanus
+      was the first among the Romans who shaved his beard, and
+      Adrianus the emperor (says Dion,) was the first of all the
+      Caesars who nourished his beard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Roman servants or slaves were not allowed to poll their
+      hair, or shave their beards. The Jews thought it ignominious
+      to lose their beards, 2 Sam. c. x. v. 4. Among the Catti, a
+      nation of Germany, a young man was not allowed to shave or
+      cut his hair till he had slain an enemy. (Tacitus.) The
+      Lombards or Longobards, derived their Fame from the great
+      length of their beards. When Otho the Great used to speak
+      anything serious, he swore by his beard, which covered his
+      breast. The Persians are fond of long beards. We read in
+      Olearius' Travels of a king of Persia who had commanded his
+      steward's head to be cut off, and on its being brought to
+      him, he remarked, "what a pity it was, that a man possessing
+      such fine mustachios, should have been executed," but added
+      he, "Ah! it was your own fault." The Normans considered the
+      beard as an indication of distress and misery. The Ancient
+      Britons used always to wear the hair on the upper lip, and so
+      strongly were they attached to this custom, that when William
+      the Conqueror ordered them to shave their upper lip, it was
+      so repugnant to their feelings, that many of them chose
+      rather to abandon their country than resign their mustachios.
+      In the 15th century, the beard was worn long. In the 16th, it
+      was suffered to grow to an amazing length, (see the portraits
+      of Bishop Gardiner, and Cardinal Pole, during Queen Mary's
+      reign,) and very often made use of as a tooth-pick case.
+      Brantome tells us that Admiral Coligny wore his tooth-pick in
+      his beard.
+    </p>
+    <h4>
+      C.B.Z.
+    </h4>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      SINGULAR CUSTOM AT ROUEN.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The chapter of Rouen, (which consists of the archbishop, a
+      dean, fifty canons, and ten prebendaries,) have, ever since
+      the year 1156, enjoyed the annual privilege of pardoning, on
+      Ascension-day, some individual confined within the
+      jurisdiction of the city for murder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On the morning of Ascension-day, the chapter, having heard
+      many examinations and confessions read, proceed to the
+      election of the criminal who is to be pardoned; and, the
+      choice being made, his name is transmitted in writing to the
+      parliament, which assemble on that day at the palace. The
+      parliament then walk in procession to the great chamber,
+      where the prisoner is brought before them in irons, and
+      placed on a stool; he is informed that the choice has fallen
+      upon him, and that he is entitled to the privilege of St.
+      Romain. After this form, he is delivered into the hands of
+      the chaplain, who, accompanied by fifty armed men, conveys
+      him to a chamber, where the chains are taken from his legs
+      and bound about his arms; and in this condition he is
+      conducted to a place named the Old Tower, where he awaits the
+      coming of the procession. After some little time has elapsed,
+      the procession sets out from the cathedral; two of the canons
+      bear the shrine in which the relics of St. Romain are
+      presumed to be preserved. When they have arrived at the Old
+      Tower, the shrine is placed in the chapel, opposite to the
+      criminal, who appears kneeling, with the chains on his arms.
+      Then one of the canons, having made him repeat the
+      confession, says the prayers usual at the time of giving
+      absolution; after which service, the prisoner kneeling still,
+      lifts up the shrine three times, amid the acclamations of the
+      people assembled to behold the ceremony. The procession then
+      returns to the cathedral, followed by the criminal, wearing a
+      chaplet of flowers on his head, and carrying the shrine of
+      the saint. After mass has been performed, he has a very
+      serious exhortation addressed to him by a monk; and, lastly,
+      he is conducted to an apartment near the cathedral, and is
+      supplied with refreshments
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page292" name="page292"></a>[pg
+      292]</span> and a bed for that night. In the morning he is
+      dismissed.
+    </p>
+    <h4>
+      G.W.N.
+    </h4>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE SKETCH-BOOK
+    </h3>
+    <hr />
+    <center>
+      ABBOTSFORD,
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      <i>And Sir Walter Scott's Study</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      [The following extracts are from the private letter of a
+      distinguished American gentleman, and form part of one of the
+      most striking articles in "The Anniversary for 1829," edited
+      by Allan Cunningham. We intended the whole article for our
+      Supplementary "Spirit of the Annuals;" but as our engraving
+      will necessarily occupy a few days longer, during which time
+      this description of <i>Abbotsford</i> will be printed in
+      fifty different forms, we are induced to take it by the
+      forelock, and appropriate it for our present number. It is,
+      perhaps, one of the most, if not the most, graphic paper in
+      the whole list of "Annuals," notwithstanding there are scores
+      of brilliant gems left for our Supplement. Certain arts must
+      have their own pace; but, in our arduous catering for
+      novelties for the MIRROR, we often have occasion to wish that
+      <i>block-machinery</i> could be applied to engraving on
+      wood.]
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Stepping westward," as Wordsworth says, from the hall, you
+      find yourself in a narrow, low, arched room, which runs quite
+      across the house, having a blazoned window again at either
+      extremity, and filled all over with smaller pieces of armour
+      and weapons, such as swords, firelocks, spears, arrows,
+      darts, daggers, &amp;c. &amp;c. &amp;c. Here are the pieces,
+      esteemed most precious by reason of their histories
+      respectively. I saw, among the rest, Rob Roy's gun, with his
+      initials, R.M.C. i.e. Robert Macgregor Campbell, round the
+      touch-hole; the blunderbuss of Hofer, a present to Sir Walter
+      from his friend Sir Humphrey Davy; a most magnificent sword,
+      as magnificently mounted, the gift of Charles the First to
+      the great Montrose, and having the arms of Prince Henry
+      worked on the hilt; the hunting bottle of bonnie King Jamie;
+      Bonaparte's pistols (found in his carriage at Waterloo, I
+      believe), <i>cum multis aliis</i>. I should have mentioned
+      that stag-horns and bulls' horns (the petrified relics of the
+      old mountain monster, I mean), and so forth, are suspended in
+      great abundance above all the doorways of these armories; and
+      that, in one corner, a dark one as it ought to be, there is a
+      complete assortment of the old Scottish instruments of
+      torture, not forgetting the very thumbikins under which
+      Cardinal Carstairs did <i>not</i> flinch, and the more
+      terrific iron crown of Wisheart the Martyr, being a sort of
+      barred headpiece, screwed on the victim at the stake, to
+      prevent him from crying aloud in his agony.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      Beyond the smaller, or rather I should say, the narrower
+      armoury, lies the dining parlour proper, however; and though
+      there is nothing Udolphoish here, yet I can well believe that
+      when lighted up and the curtains drawn at night, the place
+      may give no bad notion of the private snuggery of some lofty
+      lord abbot of the time of the Canterbury Tales. The room is a
+      very handsome one, with a low and very richly carved roof of
+      dark oak again; a huge projecting bow window, and the dais
+      elevated <i>more majorum</i>; the ornaments of the roof,
+      niches for lamps, &amp;c. &amp;c. in short, all the minor
+      details, are, I believe, fac similes after Melrose. The walls
+      are hung in crimson, but almost entirely covered with
+      pictures, of which the most remarkable are&mdash;the
+      parliamentary general, Lord Essex, a full length on
+      horseback; the Duke of Monmouth, by Lely; a capital Hogarth,
+      by himself; Prior and Gay, both by Jervas; and the head of
+      Mary Queen of Scots, in a charger, painted by Amias Canrod,
+      the day after the decapitation at Fotheringay, and sent some
+      years ago as a present to Sir Walter from a Prussian
+      nobleman, in whose family it had been for more than two
+      centuries. It is a most deathlike performance, and the
+      countenance answers well enough to the coins of the
+      unfortunate beauty, though not at all to any of the portraits
+      I have happened to see. I believe there is no doubt as to the
+      authenticity of this most curious picture. Among various
+      family pictures, I noticed particularly Sir Walter's great
+      grandfather, the old cavalier mentioned in one of the
+      epistles in Marmion, who let his beard grow after the
+      execution of Charles I., and who here appears, accordingly,
+      with a most venerable appendage of silver whiteness, reaching
+      even unto his girdle.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      A narrower passage leads to a charming breakfast room, which
+      looks to the Tweed on one side, and towards Yarrow and
+      Ettricke, famed in song, on the other: a cheerful room,
+      fitted up with novels, romances, and poetry, I could
+      perceive, at one end; and the other walls covered thick and
+      thicker with a most valuable and beautiful collection of
+      watercolour drawings, chiefly by Turner and Thomson of
+      Duddingstone, the designs, in short, for the magnificent work
+      entitled "Provincial Antiquities of Scotland." There is one
+      very grand oil painting over
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page293" name="page293"></a>[pg
+      293]</span> the chimney-piece, Fastcastle, by Thomson, alias
+      the Wolf's Crag of the Bride of Lammermoor, one of the most
+      majestic and melancholy sea-pieces I ever saw; and some large
+      black and white drawings of the Vision of Don Roderick, by
+      Sir James Steuart of Allanbank (whose illustrations of
+      Marmion and Mazeppa you have seen or heard of), are at one
+      end of the parlour. The room is crammed with queer cabinets
+      and boxes, and in a niche there is a bust of old Henry
+      Mackenzie, by Joseph of Edinburgh. Returning towards the
+      armoury, you have, on one side of a most religious looking
+      corridor, a small greenhouse, with a fountain playing before
+      it&mdash;the very fountain that in days of yore graced the
+      cross of Edinburgh, and used to flow with claret at the
+      coronation of the Stuarts&mdash;a pretty design, and a
+      standing monument of the barbarity of modern innovation. From
+      the small armoury you pass, as I said before, into the
+      drawing-room, a large, lofty, and splendid <i>salon</i>, with
+      antique ebony furniture and crimson silk hangings, cabinets,
+      china, and mirrors <i>quantum suff</i>, and some portraits;
+      among the rest glorious John Dryden, by Sir Peter Lely, with
+      his gray hairs floating about in a most picturesque style,
+      eyes full of wildness, presenting the old Bard, I take it, in
+      one of those "tremulous moods," in which we have it on record
+      he appeared when interrupted in the midst of his Alexander's
+      Feast. From this you pass into the largest of all the
+      apartments, the library, which, I must say, is really a noble
+      room. It is an oblong of some fifty feet by thirty, with a
+      projection in the centre, opposite the fireplace, terminating
+      in a grand bow window, fitted up with books also, and, in
+      fact, constituting a sort of chapel to the church. The roof
+      is of carved oak again&mdash;a very rich pattern&mdash;I
+      believe chiefly <i>a la</i> Roslin, and the bookcases, which
+      are also of richly carved oak, reach high up the walls all
+      round. The collection amounts, in this room, to some fifteen
+      or twenty thousand volumes, arranged according to their
+      subjects: British history and antiquities, filling the whole
+      of the chief wall; English poetry and drama, classics and
+      miscellanies, one end: foreign literature, chiefly French and
+      German, the other. The cases on the side opposite the fire
+      are wired and locked, as containing articles very precious
+      and very portable. One consists entirely of books and MSS.
+      relating to the insurrections of 1715 and 1745; and another
+      (within the recess of the bow window), of treatises <i>de re
+      magica</i>, both of these being (I am told, and can well
+      believe), in their several ways, collections of the rarest
+      curiosity. My cicerone pointed out, in one corner, a
+      magnificent set of Mountfaucon, ten volumes folio, bound in
+      the richest manner in scarlet, and stamped with the royal
+      arms, the gift of his present majesty. There are few living
+      authors of whose works presentation copies are not to be
+      found here. My friend showed me inscriptions of that sort in,
+      I believe, every European dialect extant. The books are all
+      in prime condition, and bindings that would satisfy Mr.
+      Dibdin. The only picture is Sir Walter's eldest son, in
+      hussar uniform, and holding his horse, by Allan of Edinburgh,
+      a noble portrait, over the fireplace; and the only bust is
+      that of Shakspeare, from the Avon monument, in a small niche
+      in the centre of the east side. On a rich stand of porphyry,
+      in one corner, reposes a tall silver urn, filled with bones
+      from the Piraeus, and bearing the inscription, "Given by
+      George Gordon, Lord Byron, to Sir Walter Scott, Bart." It
+      <i>contained</i> the letter which accompanied the gift till
+      lately: it has disappeared; no one guesses who took it, but
+      whoever he was, as my guide observed, he must have been a
+      thief for thieving's sake truly, as he durst no more exhibit
+      his autograph than tip himself a bare bodkin. Sad, infamous
+      tourist, indeed! Although I saw abundance of
+      comfortable-looking desks and arm chairs, yet this room
+      seemed rather too large and fine for <i>work</i>, and I found
+      accordingly, after passing a double pair of doors, that there
+      was a <i>sanctum</i> within and beyond this library. And here
+      you may believe, was not to me the least interesting, though
+      by no means the most splendid, part of the suite.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The lion's own den proper, then, is a room of about
+      five-and-twenty feet square by twenty feet high, containing
+      of what is properly called furniture nothing but a small
+      writing-table in the centre, a plain arm-chair covered with
+      black leather&mdash;a very comfortable one though, for I
+      tried it&mdash;and a single chair besides, plain symptoms
+      that this is no place for company. On either side of the
+      fireplace there are shelves filled with duodecimos and books
+      of reference, chiefly, of course, folios; but except these
+      there are no books save the contents of a light gallery which
+      runs round three sides of the room, and is reached by a
+      hanging stair of carved oak in one corner. You have been both
+      at the Elis&eacute;e Bourbon and Malmaison, and remember the
+      library at one or other of those places, I forget which; this
+      gallery is much in the same style. There are only two
+      portraits, an original of the beautiful and melancholy head
+      of Claverhouse, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page294"
+      name="page294"></a>[pg 294]</span> and a small full length of
+      Rob Roy. Various little antique cabinets stand round about,
+      each having a bust on it: Stothard's Canterbury Pilgrims are
+      on the mantelpiece; and in one corner I saw a collection of
+      really useful weapons, those of the forest-craft, to
+      wit&mdash;axes and bills and so forth of every calibre. There
+      is only one window pierced in a very thick wall, so that the
+      place is rather sombre; the light tracery work of the gallery
+      overhead harmonizes with the books well. It is a very
+      comfortable-looking room, and very unlike any other I ever
+      was in. I should not forget some Highland claymores,
+      clustered round a target over the Canterbury people, nor a
+      writing-box of carved wood, lined with crimson velvet, and
+      furnished with silver plate of right venerable aspect, which
+      looked as if it might have been the implement of old Chaucer
+      himself, but which from the arms on the lid must have
+      belonged to some Indian prince of the days of Leo the
+      Magnificent at the furthest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The view to the Tweed from all the principal apartments is
+      beautiful. You look out from among bowers, over a lawn of
+      sweet turf, upon the clearest of all streams, fringed with
+      the wildest of birch woods, and backed with the green hills
+      of Ettricke Forest. The rest you must imagine. Altogether,
+      the place destined to receive so many pilgrimages contains
+      within itself beauties not unworthy of its associations. Few
+      poets ever inhabited such a place; none, ere now, ever
+      created one. It is the realization of dreams: some Frenchman
+      called it, I hear, "a romance in stone and lime."
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      SPIRIT OF DISCOVERY
+    </h2>
+    <hr />
+    <center>
+      <i>Aerial Voyages of Spiders</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      The number of the a&euml;ronautic spiders occasionally
+      suspended in the atmosphere, says Mr. Murray, I believe to be
+      almost incredible, could we ascertain their amount. I was
+      walking with a friend on the 9th, and noticed that there were
+      four of these insects on his hat, at the moment there were
+      three on my own; and from the rapidity with which they
+      covered its surface with their threads, I cannot doubt that
+      they are chiefly concerned in the production of that tissue
+      which intercepts the dew, and which, illuminated by the
+      morning sun, "glitters with gold, and with rubies and
+      sapphires." Indeed, I have noticed that, when the frequent
+      descent of the a&euml;ronautic spider was determined, a newly
+      rolled turnip field was, in a few hours, overspread by a
+      carpet of their threads. It may be remarked that our little
+      a&euml;ronaut is very greedy of moisture, though abstemious
+      in other respects. Its food is perhaps peculiar, and only
+      found in the superior regions of the sky. Like the rest of
+      its tribe, it is doubtless carnivorous, and may subserve some
+      highly important purpose in the economy of Providence; such,
+      for instance, as the destruction of that truly formidable,
+      though almost microscopically minute insect, the F&ugrave;ria
+      infern&agrave;lis, whose wounds are stated to be mortal. Its
+      existence has been indeed questioned, but by no means
+      disapproved; that, and some others, injurious to man, or to
+      the inferior creation, may be its destined prey, and thus our
+      little a&euml;ronaut, unheeded by the common eye, may
+      subserve an important good.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Bowman, F.L.S. says, "We arrested several of these little
+      a&euml;ronauts in their flight, and placed them on the brass
+      gnomon of the sundial, and had the gratification to see them
+      prepare for, and recommence, their aerial voyage. Having
+      crawled about for a short time, to reconnoitre, they turned
+      their abdomens from the current of air, and elevated them
+      almost perpendicularly, supporting themselves solely on the
+      claws of their fore legs, at the same instant shooting out
+      four or five, often six or eight, extremely fine webs,
+      several yards long, which waved in the breeze, diverging from
+      each other like a pencil of rays, and strongly reflecting the
+      sunbeams. After the insects had remained stationary in this
+      apparently unnatural position for about half a minute, they
+      sprang off from the stage with considerable agility, and
+      launched themselves into the air. In a few seconds after they
+      were seen sailing majestically along, without any apparent
+      effort, their legs contracted together, and lying perfectly
+      quiet on their backs, suspended from their silken parachutes,
+      and presenting to the lover of nature a far more interesting
+      spectacle than the balloon of the philosopher. One of these
+      natural a&euml;ronauts I followed, which, sailing in the
+      sunbeams, had two distinct and widely diverging fasciculi of
+      webs, and their position in the air was such, that a line
+      uniting them would have been at right angles with the
+      direction of the breeze."&mdash;<i>Mag. Natural History</i>.
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>The Ichneumon Fly</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      There are several species of ichneumon which make thinnings
+      among the caterpillars of the cabbage butterfly. The process
+      of one species is this:&mdash;while the caterpillar is
+      feeding, the ichneumon fly hovers over it, and, with its
+      piercer, perforates the fatty part of the caterpillar's back
+      in many places, and in each deposits
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page295" name="page295"></a>[pg
+      295]</span> an egg, by means of the two parts of the sheath
+      uniting together, and thus forming a tube down which the egg
+      is conveyed into the perforation made by the piercer of the
+      fly. The caterpillar unconscious of what will ensue keeps
+      feeding on, until it changes into a chrysalis; while in that
+      torpid state, the eggs of the ichneumon are hatched, and the
+      interior of the body of the caterpillar serves as food for
+      the caterpillars of the ichneumon fly. When these have fed
+      their accustomed time, and are about to change into the pupa
+      state, they, by an instinct given them, attack the vital part
+      of the caterpillar (a most wonderful economy in nature, that
+      this process should be delayed until they have no more
+      occasion for food.) They then spin themselves minute cases
+      within the body of the caterpillar; and instead of a
+      butterfly coming forth (which, if a female, would have
+      probably laid six hundred eggs, thus producing as many
+      caterpillars, whose food would be the cabbage,) a race of
+      these little ichneumon flies issues forth, ready to perform
+      the task assigned them, of keeping within due limits those
+      fell destroyers of our vegetables.&mdash;<i>Mr.
+      Carpenter&mdash;in Gill's Repository.</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Hawking</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      Professional falconers have been for many years natives of
+      the village of <i>Falconsward</i>, near Bois le Duc, in
+      Holland. A race of them was there born and bred, whence
+      supplies have been drawn for the service of all Europe; but
+      as there has been no sufficient inducement for the young men
+      to follow the employment of their forefathers, numbers are
+      dead or worn out; and there only remains John Pells, now in
+      the service of John Dawson Downes, Esq., of Old Gunton Hill,
+      Suffolk.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The hawks which have been trained for the field, are the
+      slight falcon and the goshawk, which are the species
+      generally used in falconry. The former is called a
+      long-winged hawk, or one of the <i>lure</i>; the latter, a
+      short-winged hawk, or one of the <i>fist</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Icelander is the largest hawk that is known, and highly
+      esteemed by falconers, especially for its great powers and
+      tractable disposition. The gyr falcon is less than the
+      Icelander, but much larger than the slight falcon. These
+      powerful birds are flown at herons and hares, and are the
+      only hawks that are fully a match for the fork-tailed kite.
+      The merlin and hobby are both small hawks and fit only for
+      small birds, as the blackbird, &amp;c. The sparrow-hawk may
+      be also trained to hunt; his flight is rapid for a short
+      distance, kills partridges well in the early season, and is
+      the best of all for landrails.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The slight falcon takes up his abode every year, from October
+      and November until the spring, upon Westminster Abbey, and
+      other churches in the metropolis. This is well known to the
+      London pigeon-fanciers, from the great havoc they make in
+      their flight.&mdash;<i>Sir John Sebright</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Technicalities of Science</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      The inutility of science, written in a merely technical form,
+      is well exemplified in the instance of Cicero. He was advised
+      by his friends not to write his works on Greek Philosophy in
+      Latin; because those who cared for it would prefer his work
+      in Greek, and those who did not would read neither Greek nor
+      Latin. The splendid success of his <i>De Officiis</i>, his
+      <i>De Finibus</i>, his <i>De Natura Deorum</i>, &amp;c.,
+      showed that his friends were wrong. He persevered in the
+      popular style, and led the fashion.&mdash;<i>Mag. Nat.
+      Hist.</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Doubtful Discoveries</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      It may serve, in some measure, to confirm M. Dutroehet's
+      recent opinion of the non-existence of miscroscopic
+      animalcula, that the celebrated Spallanzani persuaded himself
+      that he could see Anim&aacute;lcula infus&ograve;ria which
+      could be seen by nobody else. He attributed his own
+      superiority of vision, in this respect, to long practice in
+      using the microscope. The philosopher exulted in his enviable
+      distinction, when a peasant, to whom he showed his
+      animalcula, could perceive nothing but muddy
+      water.&mdash;<i>Ibid.</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Faculties of Brutes</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      The dog is the only animal that dreams; and he and the
+      elephant the only animals that understand looks; the elephant
+      is the only animal that, besides man, feels <i>ennui</i>; the
+      dog, the only quadruped that has been brought to speak.
+      Leibnitz bears witness to a hound in Saxony, that could speak
+      distinctly thirty words.&mdash;<i>Medical Gazette.</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Sea Air</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      The atmosphere, in the vicinity of the sea, usually contains
+      a portion of the muriates over which it has been wafted. It
+      is a curious fact, but well ascertained, that the air best
+      adapted to vegetables is pernicious to animal life, and
+      <i>vice versa.</i> Now, upon the sea-coast, accordingly,
+      animals thrive, and vegetables decline.&mdash;<i>Hurwood's
+      Southern Coast.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page296" name="page296"></a>[pg
+      296]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      Chingford Church.
+    </h2>
+    <div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
+      <a href="images/339-8.png"><img width="100%"
+      src="images/339-8.png" alt="Chingford Church." /></a>
+    </div>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          The roof with moss is green, and twines
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Dark ivy round the sculptur'd lines.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      DELTA.
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      The pleasant village of CHINGFORD, in Essex, may be called a
+      vignette of the topographer's "<i>rus in urbe</i>," it being
+      only nine miles distant from the heart of London, and
+      consequently almost within its vortex. It stands on the banks
+      of the river Lea, and derives its name from the Saxon word
+      Cing and <i>ford</i>, (signifying the king's ford,) there
+      having formerly been a ford here; the adjoining meadows being
+      designated the king's meads, and the Lea, the king's stream.
+      There appears to have been two manors in this parish, one of
+      which was granted by Edward the Confessor to the cathedral of
+      St. Paul's, but surrendered at the reformation to Henry
+      VIII.; the other, according to Domesday Book, was held by
+      Orgar, the Thane; and from the latter another manor has since
+      been taken.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The "ivy-mantled" church, represented in the above vignette,
+      is dedicated to St. Peter and St. Paul, and consists of a
+      chancel, nave, and south aisle, with a low square tower at
+      the west end, containing three bells. Within the church are a
+      few interesting monuments, among which is one to the memory
+      of Robert Rampton, who died in 1585 and was yeoman of the
+      chamber to Edward VI., and the Queens Mary and Elizabeth. It
+      stands in the south aisle, with an inscription on a brass
+      plate against the wall, underneath which is an altar tomb
+      covered with a slab of black marble, on which are the
+      effigies, in brass, of Robert Rampton, and his wife Margaret,
+      who died in 1590.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Altogether, Chingford is one of the prettiest villages near
+      London, and its church is a picturesque attraction for
+      pedestrian tourists, and such as love to steal away from the
+      maelstroom of an overgrown metropolis, to glide into scenes
+      of "calm contemplation and poetic ease;" although much of the
+      journey lies through avenues of bricks and mortar, and trim
+      roads that swarm with busy toil.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In the parish of Chingford is an estate called Scots Mayhew,
+      or Brindwoods, which is held of the rector by the following
+      singular tenure:&mdash;"Upon every alienation, the owner of
+      the estate, with his wife, and a man and maid servant, (each
+      upon a horse) come to the parsonage, where the owner does his
+      homage, and pays his relief in manner following:&mdash;He
+      blows three blasts with his horn, carries a hawk on his fist,
+      and his servant has a greyhound in a slip&mdash;both for the
+      use of the rector that day. He receives a chicken for his
+      hawk, a peck of oats for his horse, and a loaf of bread for
+      his greyhound. They all dine, after which the master blows
+      three blasts on his horn, and they all
+      depart."<a id="footnotetag5"
+      name="footnotetag5"></a><a href="#footnote5"><sup>5</sup></a>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For the original of the engraving, and the substance of this
+      description, our thanks are due to S.I.B.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      OLD SONG.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The old minstrels saw far and deep, and clear into all
+      heart-mysteries&mdash;and, low-born, humble men as they were,
+      their tragic or comic strains strike like
+      electricity.&mdash;<i>Blackwood.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page297" name="page297"></a>[pg
+      297]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      SPIRIT OF THE<br />
+       Public Journals.
+    </h2>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE SHAVING SHOP
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          'Tis not an half hour's work&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          A Cupid and a fiddle, and the thing's done.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      FLETCHER.
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      "Hold back your head, if you please, sir, that I may get this
+      napkin properly fastened&mdash;there now," said Toby Tims,
+      as, securing the pin, he dipped his razor into hot water, and
+      began working up with restless brush the lather of his
+      soapbox.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I dare say you have got a newspaper there," said I; "are you
+      a politician, Mr. Tims?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Oh, just a little bit of one. I get Bell's Messenger at
+      second hand from a neighbour, who has it from his cousin in
+      the Borough, who, I believe, is the last reader of a club of
+      fourteen, who take it among them; and, being last, as I
+      observed, sir, he has the paper to himself into the
+      bargain.&mdash;Please exalt your chin, sir, and keep your
+      head a little to one side&mdash;there, sir," added Toby,
+      cammencing his operations with the brush, and hoarifying my
+      barbal extremity, as the facetious Thomas Hood would probably
+      express it. "Now, sir&mdash;a <i>leetle</i> more round, if
+      you please&mdash;there, sir, there. It is a most entertaining
+      paper, and beats all for news. In fact, it is full of every
+      thing, sir&mdash;every, every
+      thing&mdash;accidents&mdash;charity
+      sermons&mdash;markets&mdash;boxing&mdash;Bible
+      societies&mdash;horse racing&mdash;child murders&mdash;the
+      theatres&mdash;foreign wars&mdash;Bow-street
+      reports&mdash;electioneering&mdash;and Day and Martin's
+      blacking."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Are you a bit of a bruiser, Mr. Tims?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Oh, bless your heart, sir, only a <i>leetle</i>&mdash;a very
+      <i>leetle</i>. A turn-up with the gloves, or so, your honour.
+      I'm but a light weight&mdash;only a light weight&mdash;seven
+      stone and a half, sir; but a rare bit of stuff, though I say
+      it myself, sir&mdash;Begging your pardon. I dare say I have
+      put some of the soap into your mouth. Now, sir,
+      now&mdash;please let me hold your nose, sir."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Scarcely civil, Mr. Toby," said I, "scarcely
+      civil&mdash;Phroo! let me spit out the suds."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I will be done in a moment, sir&mdash;in half a moment.
+      Well, sir, speaking of razors, they should be always properly
+      tempered with hot water, a <i>leetle</i> dip more or less.
+      You see now how it glides over, smooth and smack as your
+      hand.&mdash;Keep still, sir; I might have given you a nick
+      just now. You don't choose a <i>leetle</i> of the mustachy
+      left?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "No, no&mdash;off with it all. No matrimonial news stirring
+      in this quarter just now, Mr. Tims?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Nothing extremely particular.&mdash;Now, sir, you are fit
+      for the king's levee, so far as my department is concerned.
+      But you cannot go out just now, sir&mdash;see how it
+      rains&mdash;a perfect water-spout. Just feel yourself at
+      home, sir, for a <i>leetle</i>, and take a peep around you.
+      That block, sir, has been very much admired&mdash;extremely
+      like the Wenus de Medicine&mdash;capital nose&mdash;and as
+      for the wig department, catch me for that, sir. But of all
+      them there pictures hanging around, yon is the favourite of
+      myself and the connessoors."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Ay, Mr. Tims," said I, "that is truly a gem&mdash;an old
+      lover kneeling at the foot of his young sweetheart, and two
+      fellows in buckram taking a peep at them from among the
+      trees."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Capital, sir&mdash;capital. I'll tell you a rare good story,
+      sir, connected with that picture and my own history, with
+      your honour's leave, sir."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "With all my heart, Mr. Tims&mdash;you are very obliging."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Well then, sir, take that chair, and I will get on like a
+      house on fire; but if you please, don't put me off my clew,
+      sir.&mdash;Concerning that picture and my courtship, the most
+      serious epoch of my life, there is a <i>leetle</i> bit of a
+      story which I would like to be a beacon to others; and if
+      your honour is still a bachelor, and not yet stranded on the
+      shoals of matrimony, it may be <i>Werbum Sapienti</i>, as
+      O'Toole, the Irish schoolmaster, used to observe, when in the
+      act of applying the birch to the booby's back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Well, sir, having received a grammatical education, and been
+      brought up as a peruke-maker from my earliest
+      years&mdash;besides having seen a deal of high life, and the
+      world in general, in carrying false curls, bandeaux, and
+      other artificial head-gear paraphernalia, in bandboxes to
+      boarding schools, and so on&mdash;a desire naturally sprung
+      up within me, being now in my twenty-first year, and worth a
+      guinea a week of wages, to look about for what old kind
+      Seignor Fiddle-stringo, the minuet-master, used to recommend
+      under the title of a <i>cara sposa</i>&mdash;open
+      shop&mdash;and act head frizzle in an establishment of my
+      own.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Very good, sir&mdash;In the pursuit of this virtuous
+      purpose, I cast a sheep's eye over the broad face of society,
+      and at length, from a number of eligible specimens, I
+      selected three, who, whether considered in the light of
+      natural beauty, or mental accomplishment, struck me forcibly
+      as suitable coadjutors for a man&mdash;for a man like your
+      humble servant."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page298" name="page298"></a>[pg
+      298]</span> "A most royal bow that, Mr. Tims. Well, proceed,
+      if you please."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Very good, sir&mdash;well, then, to proceed. The first of
+      these was Miss Diana Tonkin, a young lady, who kept her
+      brother's snuff-shop, at the sign of the African astride the
+      Tobacco Barrel&mdash;a rare beauty, who was on the most
+      intimate talking terms with half a hundred young bloods and
+      beaux, who looked in during lounging hours, being students of
+      law, physic, and divinity, half-pay ensigns, and theatrical
+      understrappers, to replenish their boxes with Lundyfoot,
+      whiff a Havannah cigar, or masticate pigtail. No wonder that
+      she was spoiled by flattery, Miss Diana, for she was a bit of
+      a beauty; and though she had but one eye&mdash;by heavens,
+      what an eye that was!"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "She must have been an irresistible creature, certainly, Mr.
+      Tims," said I. "Well, how did you come on?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Irresistible! but you shall hear, sir. I foresaw that, in
+      soliciting the honour of the fair damsel's hand, I should
+      have much opposition to encounter from the rivalry of the
+      three learned professions, to say nothing of the gentlemen of
+      the sword and of the buskin; but, thinks I to myself, 'faint
+      heart never won fair lady,' so I at once set up a snuff-box,
+      looked as tip-topping as possible, and commenced canvassing.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The second <i>elite</i> (for I know a <i>leetle</i> French,
+      having for three months, during my apprenticeship, had the
+      honour of frizling the head-gear of Count Witruvius de
+      Caucason, who occupied private state-lodgings at the sign of
+      the Blue Boar in the Poultry, and who afterwards decamped
+      without clearing scores)&mdash;the second <i>elite</i> (for I
+      make a point, sir, of having two strings to my bow) was Mrs.
+      Joan Sweetbread, a person of exquisite parts, but fiery
+      temper, at that time aged thirty-three, twelve stone weight,
+      head cook and housekeeper to Sir Anthony Macturk, a Scotch
+      baronet, who rusticated in the vicinity of town. I made her a
+      few evening visits, and we talked love affairs over muffins
+      and a cup of excellent congou. Then what a variety of jams
+      and jellies! I never returned without a disordered stomach,
+      and wishing Highland heather-honey at the devil. Yet, after
+      all, to prove a hoax!&mdash;for even when I was on the point
+      of popping the question, and had fastened my silk Jem Belcher
+      with a knowing <i>leetle</i> knot to set out for that
+      purpose, I learned from Francie, the stable-boy, that she had
+      the evening before eloped with the coachman, and returned to
+      her post that forenoon metamorphosed into Madam Trot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I first thought, sir, of hanging myself over the first
+      lamp-post; but, after a <i>leetle</i> consideration, I
+      determined to confound Madam Trot, and all other fickle fair
+      ones, by that very night marrying Miss Diana. I hastened on,
+      rushed precipitately into the shop, and on the
+      subject&mdash;and hear, oh heaven, and believe, oh earth! was
+      met, not by a plump denial, but was shown the door."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Upon my word, Mr. Tims," said I, "you have been a most
+      unfortunate man. I wonder you recovered after such mighty
+      reverses; but I hope&mdash;&mdash;"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Hope! that is the word, sir, the very word, I still had
+      hope; so, after ten days' horrible melancholy, in which I
+      cropped not a few heads in a novel and unprecedented style, I
+      at it again, and laid immediate and close siege to the last
+      and loveliest of the trio&mdash;one by whom I was shot dead
+      at first sight, and of whom it might be said, as I once heard
+      Kean justly observe in a very pretty tragedy, and to a
+      numerous audience, 'We ne'er shall look upon her like
+      again!'"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Capital, Mr. Tims. Well, how did you get on?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "A moment's patience, with your honour's leave.&mdash;Ah!
+      truly might it be said of her, that she was descended from
+      the high and great&mdash;her grandfather having been not only
+      six feet three, without the shoes, but for forty odd years
+      principal bell-ringer in the steeple of St. Giles's,
+      Cripplegate; and her grandmother, for long and long, not only
+      head dry-nurse to one of the noblest families in all England,
+      but <i>bona fide</i> twenty-two stone avoirdupois&mdash;so
+      that it was once proposed, by the undertaker, to bury her at
+      twice! As to this nonpareil of lovely flesh and blood, her
+      name was Lucy Mainspring, the daughter of a horologer,
+      sir,&mdash;a watchmaker&mdash;<i>vulgo</i> so
+      called&mdash;and though fattish, she was very
+      fair&mdash;fair! by Jupiter, (craving your honour's pardon
+      for swearing,) she fairly made me give all other thoughts the
+      cut, and twisted the passions of my heart with the red-hot
+      torturing irons of love. 'Pon honour, sir, I almost grow
+      foolish when I think of those days; but love, sir, nothing
+      can resist love."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I hope, Mr. Tims, you were in better luck with Miss
+      Mainspring?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "A <i>leetle</i> a <i>leetle</i> patience, your honour, and
+      all will be out as quick as directly&mdash;in the twinkling
+      of a bed-post.&mdash;For three successive nights I sat up in
+      a brown study, with a four-in-the-pound candle burning before
+      me till almost cock-crow, composing a love-letter, a most
+      elaborate affair, the pure overflowing of <i>la belle
+      passion</i>, all about Venus, Cupids, bows and arrows,
+      hearts, darts, and them things, which, having copied neatly
+      over <span class="pagenum"><a id="page299"
+      name="page299"></a>[pg 299]</span> on a handsome sheet of
+      foolscap, turned up with gilt, (for, though I say it myself,
+      I scribble a smart fist,) I made a blotch of red wax on the
+      back as large as a dollar, that thereon I might the more
+      indelibly impress a seal, with a couple of pigeons cooing
+      upon it, and '<i>toujours wotre</i>' for the motto. This I
+      popped into the post-office, and waited patiently&mdash;may I
+      add confidently?&mdash;for the result.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "No answer having come as I expected <i>per</i> return, I
+      began to smell that I was in the wrong box; so, on the
+      following evening, I had a polite visit from her respectable
+      old father, Daniel Mainspring, who asked me what my
+      intentions were?&mdash;'To commence wig-maker on my own
+      bottom,' answered I.&mdash;'But with respect to my daughter,
+      sir?'&mdash;'Why, to be sure, to make her mistress,
+      sir.'&mdash;'Mistress!' quoth he, 'did I hear you right,
+      sir?'&mdash;'I hope you are not hard of hearing, Mr.
+      Mainspring. I wish, sir&mdash;between us, sir&mdash;you
+      understand, sir&mdash;to marry her, sir.'&mdash;'Then you
+      can't have her, sir.'&mdash;'But I must, sir, for I can't do
+      without her, sir.'&mdash;'Then you may buy a
+      rope.'&mdash;'Ah! you would not sign my
+      death-warrant&mdash;wouldn't you not now, Mr.
+      Mainspring?'&mdash;'Before going,' said he, rummaging his
+      huge coat-pockets with both hands at once, 'there is your
+      letter, which I read over patiently, instead of my daughter,
+      who has never seen it; and I hope you will excuse the liberty
+      I take of calling you a great fool, and wishing you a good
+      morning.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Now, though a lad of mettle, you know, sir, it would not
+      have been quite the thing to have called out my intended
+      father-in-law; so, with amazing forbearance, bridling my
+      passion, I allowed him to march off triumphantly, and stood,
+      with the letter in my hand, looking down the alley after him,
+      strutting along, staff in hand, like a recruiting sergeant,
+      as if he had been a phoenix.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "A man of my penetration was not long in scenting out who was
+      the formidable rival to whom Daddy Mainspring alluded.
+      <i>Sacre</i>! to think the mercenary old hunks could dream of
+      sacrificing my lovely Lucy to such a hobgoblin of a fellow as
+      a superannuated dragoon quartermaster, with a beak like
+      Bardolph's in the play. But I had some confidence in my own
+      qualifications; and as I gave a sly glance down at my nether
+      person, 'Dash-the-wig-of-him!' thought I to myself, 'if he
+      can sport a leg like that of Toby Tims.' I accordingly
+      determined not to be discomfited, and took the earliest
+      opportunity of presenting Miss Lucy, through a sure channel,
+      with a passionate billet doux, a patent pair of gilt
+      bracelets, and a box of Ruspini's tooth-powder. By St.
+      Patrick and all the powers, it was shocking to suppose that
+      such an angel as the cherry-cheeked Lucy should be stolen
+      from me by such an apology for a gallant, as Quartermaster
+      Bottlenose of the Tipperary Rangers. 'Twas murder, by
+      Jupiter."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I perfectly agree with you, Mr. Tims; Did you challenge him
+      to the duello?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "A <i>leetle</i> patience, if you please, sir, and you shall
+      hear all. During the violence of my love-fits, I committed a
+      variety of professional mistakes. I sent at one time a pot of
+      bear's grease away by the mail, in a wig-box, to a member of
+      parliament in Yorkshire; and burned a whole batch of baked
+      hair to ashes, while singing Moore's 'When he who adores
+      thee,' in attitude, before a block, dressed up for the
+      occasion with a fashionable wig upon it&mdash;to say nothing
+      of my having, in a fit of abstraction, given a beautiful
+      young lady, who was going that same evening to a Lord Mayor's
+      ball, the complete charity-workhouse cut, leaving her scalp
+      as bare as the back of my hand. But cheer up!&mdash;to my
+      happy astonishment, sir, matters worked like a charm. What a
+      parley-vooing and billet-dooing passed between us! We would
+      have required a porter for the sole purpose. Then we had
+      stolen interviews of two hours' duration each, for several
+      successive nights, at the old horologer's back-door, during
+      which, besides a multiplicity of small-talk&mdash;thanks to
+      his deafness&mdash;I tried my utmost to entrap her
+      affections, by reciting sonnets, and spouting bits of plays
+      in the manner of the tragedy performers. These were the happy
+      times, sir! The world was changed for me. Paddington canal
+      seemed the river Pactolus, and Rag-Fair Elysium!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The old boy, however, ignorant of our orgies, was still
+      bothering his brains to bring about matrimony between his
+      daughter and the veteran&mdash;who, though no younger than
+      Methusalem, as stiff as the Monument, and as withered as
+      Belzoni's Piccadilly mummy, had yet the needful,
+      sir&mdash;had abundance of the wherewithal&mdash;crops of
+      yellow shiners&mdash;lots of the real&mdash;sported a gig,
+      and kept on board wages a young shaver of all work, with a
+      buff jacket, turned up with sky-blue facings. Only think,
+      sir&mdash;only ponder for a moment what a formidable rival I
+      had!"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I hope you beat him off, however," said I. "The greater
+      danger the more honour you know, Mr. Tims."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Of that anon, sir.&mdash;Lucy, on her part, angelic
+      creature, professed that she could not dream of being
+      undutiful towards <span class="pagenum"><a id="page300"
+      name="page300"></a>[pg 300]</span> kind old Pa; and that,
+      unless desperate measures were resorted to,
+      <i>quamprimum</i>, in the twinkling of a bed-post she would
+      be under the disagreeable necessity to bundle and go with the
+      disabled man of war to the temple of Hymen. Sacrilegious
+      thought! I could not permit it to enter my bosom, and (pardon
+      me for a moment, sir) when I looked down, and caught a glance
+      of my own natty-looking, tight little leg, and dapper
+      Hessians, I recommended her strongly to act on the principle
+      of the Drury-lane play-bill, which says, 'All for Love, or
+      the World well lost.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Well, sir, hark ye, just to show how things come about.
+      Shortly after this, on the anniversary of my honoured old
+      master, Zachariah Pigtail's birth, when we were allowed to
+      strike work at noon, I determined, as a <i>dernier
+      resort</i>, as a clincher, sir, to act the genteel, and
+      invite Miss Lucy, in her furs and falderals, to accompany me
+      to the Exhibition of Pictures. Heavens, sir, how I dressed on
+      that day! The Day and Martin of my boots reflected on the
+      shady side of the street. I took half an hour in tying and
+      retying my neckcloth <i>en mode</i>. My handkerchief smelt of
+      lavender, and my hair of oil of thyme&mdash;my waistcoat of
+      bergamot, and my inexpressibles of musk. I was a perfect
+      civet for perfumery. My coat, cut in the jemmy fashion, I
+      buttoned to suffocation; but 'pon honour, believe me, sir, no
+      stays, and my shirt neck had been starched <i>per order</i>,
+      to the consistence of tin. In short, to be brief, I found, or
+      fancied myself killing&mdash;a most irresistible fellow.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I did not dare, however, to call for Miss Lucy at old Pa's,
+      but waited for her at the corner of the street, patiently
+      drumming on my boot, with a knowing little bit of bamboo; and
+      projecting my left arm to her, off we marched in triumph.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The Exhibition Rooms were crowded with the <i>ton</i>; and
+      to be sure a great many fine things were there. Would you had
+      seen them, sir. There were admirals in blue, and generals in
+      red&mdash;portraits of my lord this, and my lady
+      that&mdash;land scenes, and sea scenes, and hunting scenes,
+      with thips, and woods, and old castles, all amazingly like
+      life. In short, sir, Providence seems to have guided us to
+      the spot, where we saw a picture&mdash;<i>the</i> picture,
+      sir&mdash;the pattern copy of that there picture,
+      sir&mdash;and heavens! such a piece of work&mdash;but of that
+      anon&mdash;it did the business, sir. No sooner had I perused
+      it through my quizzing-glass, which, I confess, that I had
+      brought with me more for ornament than use&mdash;having eyes
+      like a hawk&mdash;than I pathetically exclaimed to
+      Lucy&mdash;'Behold, my love, the history of our fates!' Lucy
+      said, 'Tuts, Toby Tims,' and gave a giggle; but I went on in
+      solemn gravity, before a circle of seemingly electrified
+      spectators.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "'Spose now, Miss Lucy,' said I, holding her by the finger of
+      her Limerick glove; 'spose now, that I had invited you to
+      take an outside seat on the Hampstead Flying Phoenix with me,
+      to go out to a rural junketing, on May day in the afternoon.
+      Very well&mdash;there we find ourselves alive and kicking,
+      forty couple footing it on the green, and choosing, according
+      to our tastes, reels, jigs, minuets, or bumpkins. 'Spose
+      then, that I have handed you down to the bottom of
+      five-and-twenty couple at a country-dance, to the tune of Sir
+      Roger de Coverley, Morgiana in Ireland, Petronella, or the
+      Triumph; and, notwithstanding our having sucked a couple of
+      oranges a-piece, we are both quite in a broth of
+      perspiration. Very good&mdash;so says I to you, making a
+      genteel bow, 'Do you please to walk aside, and cool yourself
+      in them there green arbours, and I will be with you as quick
+      as directly, with a glass of lemonade or cherry brandy?' So
+      says you to me, dropping a curtsey <i>a la mode</i>, 'With
+      ineffable pleasure, sir;' and away you trip into the shade
+      like a sunbeam.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "'Now, Lucy, my love, take a good look of that picture. That
+      is you, 'spose, seated on the turf, a <i>leetle</i> behind
+      the pillar dedicated to Apollar; and you, blooming like a
+      daffodilly in April, are waiting with great thirst, and not a
+      little impatience, for my promised appearance, from the sign
+      of the Hen and Chickens, with the cordials, and a few
+      biscuits on a salver&mdash;when, lo! an old bald-pated,
+      oily-faced, red-nosed Cameronian ranter, whom by your elegant
+      negligee capering you have fairly danced out of his dotard
+      senses, comes pawing up to you like Polito's polar bear,
+      drops on his knees, and before you can avert your nose from a
+      love-speech, embalmed in the fumes of tobacco and purl, the
+      hoary villain has beslobbered your lily-white fingers, and is
+      protesting unalterable affection, at the rate of twelve miles
+      an hour, inclusive of stoppages. Now, Lucy, love, did you
+      ever,&mdash;say upon your honour,&mdash;did you ever witness
+      such a spectacle of humanity? Tell me now?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "'Very well. Now, love, take a peep down the avenue, and yon
+      is me, yon tight, handsome little figure, with the Spanish
+      cap and cloak, attended by a trusty servant in the same
+      costume, to whom I am pointing where he is to bring the
+      cherry-brandy; when, lo! we perceive the hideous
+      apparition!&mdash;and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page301"
+      name="page301"></a>[pg 301]</span> straightway rushing
+      forward, like two tigers on a jackass, we seize the wigless
+      dotard, and, calling for a blanket, the whole respectable
+      company of forty couples and upwards, come crowding to the
+      spot, and lend a willing hand in rotation, four by four, in
+      tossing Malachi, the last of the lovers, till the breath of
+      life is scarcely left in his vile body.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "'Now Lucy,' says I, in conclusion, 'don't you see the
+      confounded absurdity of ever wasting a thought on a
+      broken-down, bandy-legged, beggarly dragoon? Just look at
+      him, with an old taffeta whigmaleerie tied to his back, like
+      Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind! Isn't he a
+      pretty figure, now, to go a-courting? You would never forsake
+      the like of me&mdash;would you now? A spruce, natty little
+      body of a creature&mdash;to be the trollop of a
+      spindle-shanked veteran, who, besides having one foot in the
+      grave, and a nose fit for three, might be your
+      great-grandfather?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "It was a sight, sir, that would have melted the heart of a
+      wheel-barrow. Before the whole assembled exhibition-room,
+      Lucy first looked blue, and then blushed consent. 'Toby,'
+      said she, 'don't mention it, Toby, dear,&mdash;I am thine for
+      ever and a day!' Angelic sounds, which at once sent
+      Bottlenose to Coventry. His chance was now weak indeed, quite
+      like Grantham gruel, three groats to a gallon of water. In an
+      ecstacy of passion, sir, I threw my silk handkerchief on the
+      floor, and, kneeling on it with one knee, I raised her
+      gloveless fingers to my lips!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The whole company clapped their hands, and laughed so
+      heartily in sympathy with my good luck! Oh! sir, had you but
+      seen it&mdash;what a sight for sore eyes that was!"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Then you would indeed be the happy man at last, Mr. Tims,"
+      said I. "Did you elope on the instant?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Just done, please your honour.&mdash;Next morning, according
+      to special agreement, we eloped in a gig; and, writing a
+      penitent letter from the Valentine and Orson at Chelsea,
+      Daddy Mainspring found himself glad to come to terms. Thrice
+      were the banns published; and such a marriage as we had! 'Pon
+      honour, sir, I would you had been present. It was a thing to
+      be remembered till the end of one's life. A deputation of the
+      honourable the corporation of barbers duly attended, puffed
+      out in full fig; and even the old quartermaster, pocketing
+      his disappointment, was, at his own special petition, a
+      forgiven and favoured guest. Seldom has such dancing been
+      seen within the bounds of London; and, with two fiddles, a
+      tambourin, and a clarionet, we made all the roofs ring, till
+      an early hour next morning&mdash;and that we did."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "You are a lucky fellow, Mr. Tims," said I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "And more than that, sir. When old Mainspring kicks, we are
+      to have the counting of his mouldy coppers&mdash;so we have
+      the devil's luck and our own; and as for false curls, braids,
+      bandeaux, Macassar oil, cold cream, bear's-grease,
+      tooth-powder, and Dutch toys, show me within the walls of the
+      City a more respectable, tip-topping perfumery depot and
+      wig-warehouse, than that wherein you now sit, and of which I,
+      Tobias Tims, am, with due respect, the honoured master, and
+      your humble servant!"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Blackwood's Magazine</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In addition to the foregoing, (which is one of the happiest
+      pieces in Goldsmith's style that we have read for a long
+      time,) there is in <i>Blackwood's Magazine</i> an article of
+      extraordinary graphic spirit, occupying twenty-two pages. But
+      we will attempt to abridge it for our columns, as well as to
+      give a sprinkling from the <i>Noctes</i> in the same number.
+      All are in the best style of their vigorous masters.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ELEGY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      <i>To the Memory of Miss Emily Kay, (cousin to Miss Ellen
+      Gee, of Kew,) who lately died at Ewell, and was buried in
+      Essex</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      D.T. Fabula narratur.
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Sad nymphs of UL, U have much to cry for,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Sweet MLE K U never more shall C!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          O SX maids! come hither and VU,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          With tearful I this M T LEG.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Without XS she did XL alway&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Ah me! it truly vexes 1 2 C
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          How soon so DR a creature may DK,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And only leave behind XUVE!
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Whate'er I O to do she did discharge,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          So that an NME it might NDR:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Then Y an SA write? then why N?
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Or with my briny tears her BR BDU?
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          When her Piano-40 she did press,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Such heavenly sounds did MN8, that she,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Knowing her Q, soon I U 2 confess
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Her XLNC in an XTC.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Her hair was soft as silk, not YRE,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          It gave no Q nor yet 2 P to view:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          She was not handsome: shall I tell U Y?
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          U R 2 know her I was all SQ.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          L8 she was, and prattling like AJ.
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          O, little MLE! did you 4 C
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The grave should soon MUU, cold as clay.
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And U should cease to B an NTT!
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          While taking T at Q with LN G,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The MT grate she rose to put a(:)
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Her clothes caught fire&mdash;I ne'er again shall C
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Poor MLE, who now is dead as Solon.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          O, LN G! in vain you set at 0
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          GR and reproach for suffering her 2 B
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Thus sacrificed: to JL U should be brought
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And burnt U 0 2 B in FEG.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Sweet MLE K into SX they bore,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Taking good care her monument to Y 10,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And as her tomb was much 2 low B 4,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          They lately brought fresh bricks the walls to I 10.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>New Monthly Mag</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page302" name="page302"></a>[pg
+      302]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      Notes of a Reader.
+    </h2>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      A NEW CYCLOPAEDIA.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      A "Cabinet Cyclopaedia" is announced for publication, under
+      the superintendance of Dr. Lardner. It is to consist of a
+      series of "Cabinets" of the several sciences, &amp;c. and
+      upwards of 100 volumes, to be published monthly, are already
+      announced in the prospectus; or nine years publishing. The
+      design is not altogether new, it being from the
+      <i>Encyclopaedie Methodique</i>, a series of dictionaries,
+      now publishing in Paris; and about four years since a similar
+      work was commenced in England, but only three volumes or
+      dictionaries of the series were published. If this be the
+      flimsy age, the "Cabinet Cyclopaedia" is certainly not one of
+      the flimsiest of its projects; and for the credit of the age,
+      we wish the undertaking all success.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      "A GENTLEMAN"
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Is a term very vaguely applied, and indistinctly understood.
+      There are Gentlemen by birth, Gentlemen by education,
+      Gentlemen's Gentlemen, Gentlemen of the Press, Gentlemen
+      Pensioners, Gentlemen, whom nobody thinks it worth while to
+      call otherwise; <i>Honourable</i> Gentlemen, Walking
+      Gentlemen of strolling companies, Light-fingered Gentlemen,
+      &amp;c. &amp;c. very respectable Gentlemen, and God
+      Almighty's Gentlemen.&mdash;<i>Blackwood's Magazine</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ROMAN THEATRES.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      There are five theatres at Rome to a population very nearly
+      as considerable as that of Dublin. Each of these
+      establishments is the property of one of the noble families
+      in the city, who prefer doing by themselves what is usually
+      done in England by committee.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      CATS AND FELINE ANIMALS (<i>once more!</i>)
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Animals of the cat kind are, in a state of nature almost
+      continually in action both by night and by day. They either
+      walk, creep, or advance rapidly by prodigious bounds; but
+      they seldom <i>run</i>, owing, it is believed, to the extreme
+      flexibility of their limbs and vertebral column, which cannot
+      preserve the rigidity necessary to that species of movement.
+      Their sense of sight, especially during twilight, is acute;
+      their hearing very perfect, and their perception of smell
+      less so than in the dog tribe. Their most obtuse sense is
+      that of taste; the lingual nerve in the lion, according to
+      Des Moulins, being no larger than that of a middle-sized dog.
+      In fact, the tongue of these animals is as much an organ of
+      mastication as of taste; its sharp and horny points, inclined
+      backwards, being used for tearing away the softer parts of
+      the animal substances on which they prey. The perception of
+      touch is said to reside very delicately in the small bulbs at
+      the base of the mustachios.&mdash;<i>Wilson's Zoology</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      TEA AND TAY.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      <i>From Blackwood's last "Noctes."</i>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>North</i>. As you love me, my dear James, call it not tea,
+      but <i>tay</i>. That though obsolete, is the classical
+      pronunciation. Thus Pope sings in the <i>Rape of the
+      Lock</i>, canto i.
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Soft yielding minds to water glide away,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And sip with nymphs their elemental tea."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      And also in canto iii&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Where thou great Anna, whom these realms obey,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Dost sometimes counsel take, and sometimes tea."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      And finally in the Basset Table&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Tell, tell your grief, attentive will I stay,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Though time is precious, and I want some tea."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>Shepherd</i>. A body might think frae thae rhymes, that
+      Pop had been an Eerishman.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      "MERRY ENGLAND."
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The people of England, we fear, have at last forfeited the
+      proud title of "merry," to distinguish them from other and
+      less happy, because more serious, nations; for now they
+      sadden at amusement, and sicken and turn pale at a jest; so
+      entirely have they forfeited it, that an ingenious critic
+      cannot believe they ever possessed it; and has set himself
+      accordingly to prove, that, in the old English, <i>merrie</i>
+      does not mean merry, but sorrowful, or heart-broken, or some
+      such thing.&mdash;<i>Edin. Rev.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      SYMPATHY.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          There is a tear, more sweet and soft
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Than beauty's smiling lip of love;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          By angel's eyes first wept and oft
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          On earth by eyes like those above:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          It flows for virtue in distress.
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          It soothes, like hope, our sufferings here;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          'Twas given, and it is shed, to bless&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          'Tis sympathy's celestial tear.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>Amulet.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      MR. ABERNETHY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Was one day descanting upon the advantages of a public
+      education for boys, when he concluded by saying, "And what
+      think you of Eton? I think I shall send my son there to learn
+      manners." "It would have been as well, my dear," responded
+      his wife, "had you gone there too."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page303" name="page303"></a>[pg
+      303]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      ENGLISH BENEVOLENCE.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      For several years previous to 1823, the crops in Ireland had
+      been scanty, particularly those of potatoes. In 1821 the
+      potato crop was <i>a complete failure</i>; and in 1822 it is
+      impossible to tell, and dreadful to think, of what might have
+      been the consequence, had not the English people come
+      forward, and by the most stupendous act of national
+      generosity which the world ever saw, and which none but a
+      country so rich as England could afford, arrested "the plague
+      of hunger," which must otherwise have desolated the country.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      PAINTING IN FRESCO.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The revival of this beautiful art is strongly recommended by
+      a writer in the <i>Edinburgh Review</i>, for the internal
+      decoration of private residences. "As we have begun to build
+      houses upon a handsome scale in London, the lovers of art may
+      venture to hope, that instead of spending enormous sums
+      solely on the upholsterer for his fading ornaments, something
+      may now be spared to the artist, for conferring on the walls
+      unfading decorations of a far more delightful and
+      intellectual kind. If the work be well executed, it will not
+      suffer injury from being washed with clean and cold water."
+      The reviewer then goes on to suggest "small foundations, like
+      the fellowships at our universities. The fellow, a young
+      artist of promise, might spend two or three years in painting
+      the interior of a church, or other public building,
+      maintaining himself meanwhile on his fellowship, or two or
+      three hundred pounds a year." "If, however, the objections to
+      painting our churches be deemed insuperable, we have
+      buildings designed for civil purposes in abundance, which are
+      well adapted for this species of decoration." He then
+      instances Westminster Hall, the walls of which might be
+      covered with fresco; and the outsides of houses in many
+      German cities and towns in the German cantons of Switzerland,
+      the outsides of which are painted with scriptural and
+      historical subjects. "Painting," observes he, "were the use
+      of it universal, would be a powerful means of instruction to
+      children and the lower orders; and were all the fine
+      surfaces, which are now plain and absolutely wasted, enriched
+      with the labours of the art, if they once began to appear,
+      they would accumulate rapidly; and were the ornamented
+      edifices open to all, as freely as they ought to be, a wide
+      field of new and agreeable study would offer itself."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      PHILANTHROPY.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Hast thou power? the weak defend,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Light?&mdash;give light: thy knowledge lend.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Rich?&mdash;remember Him who gave.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Free?&mdash;be brother to the slave.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>Amulet.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      LITERARY CLUBS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      O what curses, not loud, but deep, has not old Simpkin, of
+      the Crown and Anchor, in his day, and Willis and Kay in later
+      times, groaned at the knot of authors who were occupying one
+      of his best dining-rooms up-stairs, and leaving the Port, and
+      claret, and Madeira to a death-like repose in the cellar,
+      though the waiter had repeatedly popped his head into the
+      apartment with an admonitory "Did you ring, gentlemen?" to
+      awaken them to a becoming sense of the social duties of
+      man.&mdash;<i>New Monthly Mag</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ALLIGATORS SWALLOWING STONES.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The Indians on the banks of the Oronoko assert, that
+      previously to an alligator going in search of prey, it always
+      swallows a large stone, that it may acquire additional weight
+      to aid it in diving and dragging its victims under water. A
+      traveller being somewhat incredulous on this point, Bolivar,
+      to convince him, shot several with his rifle, and in all of
+      them were found stones, varying in weight according to the
+      size of the animal. The largest killed was about 17 feet in
+      length, and had within him a stone weighing about 60 or 70
+      pounds.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      CRICKET.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Miss Mitford, in one of her charming sketches, tells us of a
+      cricket-ball being thrown five hundred yards. This is what
+      the people who write for Drury-lane and Covent-garden would
+      call "pitching it pretty strong."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ADVANTAGES OF CHEAP BOOKS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      When Goldsmith boasted of having seen a splendid copy of his
+      poems in the cabinet of some great lord, saying emphatically,
+      "This is fame, Dr. Johnson," the doctor told him that, for
+      his part, he would have been more disposed to
+      self-gratulation had he discovered any of the progeny of his
+      mind thumbed and tattered in the cabin of a
+      peasant.&mdash;<i>Q. Rev.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      REMEMBRANCE.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          I recollect my happy home,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          My pleasures as a child;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The forest where I used to roam,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The rocks so bleak and wild.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          That home is tenantless; the spot
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          It graced is rude and bare;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The lov'd ones gone, our name forgot.
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And desolation there.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>Forget Me Not</i>&mdash;1829.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In how many thousand hearts will this lament find an echo!
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page304" name="page304"></a>[pg
+      304]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      The Gatherer
+    </h2>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      SHAKSPEARE.
+    </h4>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      QUID PRO QUO.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      A canon of the cathedral of Seville, who was very affected in
+      his dress, and particular in his shoes, could not in the
+      whole city find a workman to his liking. An unfortunate
+      shoemaker to whom he applied, after quitting many others,
+      having brought him a pair of shoes which did not please his
+      taste, the canon became furious, and seizing one of the tools
+      of the shoemaker, gave him with it so many blows on the head,
+      that the poor shoemaker fell dead on the floor. The unhappy
+      man left a widow, four daughters, and a son fourteen years of
+      age, the eldest of the indigent family. They made their
+      complaints to the chapter; the canon was prosecuted, and
+      condemned <i>not to appear in the choir for a year</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The young shoemaker, having attained to man's estate, was
+      scarcely able to get a livelihood; and overwhelmed with
+      wretchedness, sat down on the day of a procession at the door
+      of the cathedral of Seville, in the moment the procession
+      passed by. Among the other canons he perceived the murderer
+      of his father. At the sight of this man, filial affection,
+      rage, and despair got so far the better of his reason, that
+      he fell furiously on the priest, and stabbed him to the
+      heart. The young man was seized, convicted of the crime, and
+      immediately condemned to be quartered alive. Peter, whom we
+      call the cruel, and whom the Spaniards, with more reason,
+      call the lover of justice, was then at Seville. The affair
+      came to his knowledge, and after learning the particulars, he
+      determined to be himself the judge of the young shoemaker.
+      When he proceeded to give judgment, he first annulled the
+      sentence just pronounced by the clergy; and after asking the
+      young man what profession he was, "<i>I forbid you</i>," said
+      he, "<i>to make shoes for a year to come.</i>"
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      When Demetrius conquered the city of Magara, and every thing
+      had been plundered by his soldiers, he ordered the
+      philosopher Stilpon to be called before him, and asked him
+      whether he had not lost his property in this confusion? "No,"
+      replied Stilpon, "as all I possess is in my head."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      LORD MAYOR'S DAY.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      A country gentleman, much averse to city revelry, made the
+      following couplet:
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Music hath charms to sooth the savage beast,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And therefore proper at a city feast.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      A city gentleman, who had laid up a store of wealth,
+      replied:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          The chink of gold with gold, transporting sound!
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Exceeds the Timbrel, or the Syren's voice
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Harmonious, when collective plates go round,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And Hock and Turtle make the heart rejoice.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      An inveterate sportsman, hearing early his favourite cry of
+      beagles from the wood, exclaimed:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Hark, friend, what heavenly music meets the ear;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Haste, farmer, we shall lose it all, I fear.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      The rustic, who dreads hounds over his new-sown wheat,
+      replies:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Music! I cannot hear it for the noise
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Of those curs'd dogs, loud shouts, and bellowing boys.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      Antigonus, being in his tent, heard two soldiers, who were
+      standing outside, speak very disrespectfully of him. After he
+      had listened some time, he opened the tent and said to them,
+      "If you wish to speak thus of me, you might at least go a
+      little aside."&mdash;<i>Sulzer.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      A supplementary number of the Mirror, containing the
+      "<i>Spirit of the Annuals</i>," with a fine engraving, will
+      be published with our Number on Saturday, November 15."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      Purchasers of the Mirror, who may wish to complete their sets
+      are informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and
+      may be purchased separately. The whole of the numbers are now
+      in print, and can be procured by giving an order to any
+      Bookseller or Newsvender.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Complete sets Vol I. to XI. in boards, price &pound;2. 19s.
+      6d. half bound, &pound;3. 17s.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      <i>LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS</i>.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Cheap and popular works published at the Mirror office in the
+      Strand, near Somerset House.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS. Embellished with nearly
+      150 Engravings. Price 6s. 6d. boards.<br />
+       The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s.<br />
+       The MICROCOSM. By the Right Hon. G. Canning. &amp;c. Price
+      2s.<br />
+       PLUTARCH'S LIVES, with Fifty Portraits, 2 vols. price 13s.
+      boards.<br />
+       COWPER'S POEMS, with 12 Engravings, price 3s. 6d.
+      boards.<br />
+       COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards.<br />
+       The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD
+      DISPLAYED. Price 5s. boards.<br />
+       BEAUTIES of SCOTT. 2 vols. price 7s.<br />
+       The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      GOLDSMITH'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.<br />
+       DR. FRANKLIN'S ESSAYS. Price 1s. 2d.<br />
+       BACON'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.<br />
+       SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a> <b>Footnote 1</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        Dr. Burney says he was "equal in science, if not in genius,
+        to the best musicians of his age."
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a> <b>Footnote 2</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        Born in his father's house, at the Spread Eagle in
+        Bread-street, Cheapside, December 9, 1608.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote3" name="footnote3"></a> <b>Footnote 3</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag3">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        W. Kennedy&mdash;in the <i>Amulet</i> for 1829.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote4" name="footnote4"></a> <b>Footnote 4</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag4">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        From this custom probably originated that in England, of
+        widows concealing their hair for a stated period after the
+        death of their husbands. Indeed, we know of more than one
+        instance of a widow closely <i>cutting off</i> her hair.
+        But these sorrowful observances are becoming less and less
+        frequent.&mdash;ED.&lt;/&gt;
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote5" name="footnote5"></a> <b>Footnote 5</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag5">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        Morant's Essex, vol. i. p. 57.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <i>Printed and Published by J. Limbird, 143, Strand, (near
+      Somerset House,) London; sold by Ernest Fleischer, 626,
+      NewMarket, Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+
+  <div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 11312 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #11312 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/11312)
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, by Various
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction
+       Volume 12, No. 339, Saturday, November 8, 1828.
+
+Author: Various
+
+Release Date: February 26, 2004 [EBook #11312]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIRROR OF LITERATURE, NO. 339 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Keith M. Eckrich, David Garcia, and the
+Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+
+VOL. XII, NO. 339.] SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1828. [PRICE 2d.
+
+
+
+
+Great Milton.
+
+
+[Illustration: Great Milton.]
+
+
+Great Milton, a picturesque village, near Thame, in Oxfordshire, is
+entitled to notice in the annals of literature, as the family seat of
+the MILTONS, ancestors of Britain's illustrious epic poet. Of this
+original abode, our engraving is an accurate representation. One of
+Milton's ancestors forfeited his estate in the turbulent times of York
+and Lancaster. "Which side he took," says Johnson, "I know not; his
+descendant inherited no veneration for the White Rose." His grandfather
+was under ranger of the forest of Shotover, Oxon, who was a zealous
+Papist, and disinherited his son for becoming a Protestant. Milton's
+father being thus deprived of his family property, was compelled to quit
+his studies at Christ Church, Oxford, whence he went to London, and
+became a scrivener. He was eminent for his skill in music;[1] and from
+his reputation in his profession, he grew rich, and retired. He was
+likewise a classical scholar, as his son addresses him in one of his
+most elaborate Latin verses. He married a lady of the name of Caston, of
+a Welsh family, by whom he had two sons, John, THE POET,[2] and
+Christopher, who studied the law, became a bencher of the Inner Temple,
+was knighted at a very advanced age, and raised by James II. first to be
+a Baron of the Exchequer, and afterwards one of the Judges of the Common
+Pleas. He was much persecuted by the republicans for his adherence to
+the royal cause, but his composition with them was effected by his
+brother's interest.
+
+    [1] Dr. Burney says he was "equal in science, if not in genius, to
+        the best musicians of his age."
+
+    [2] Born in his father's house, at the Spread Eagle in Bread-street,
+        Cheapside, December 9, 1608.
+
+Besides these two sons, he had a daughter, Anne, who was married to a
+Mr. Edward Philips, of Shrewsbury; by him she had two sons, John and
+Edward, who were educated by the poet, and from whom is derived the
+only authentic account of his domestic manners.
+
+MILTON was thus by birth a gentleman; but had his descent been
+otherwise, his works would ennoble him to posterity.
+
+  The lord, by giddy fortune courted,
+    Stalks through a part by thousands played;
+  The minstrel, proud and unsupported,
+    Stands forth the Noble God has made[3]
+
+    [3]  W. Kennedy--in the _Amulet_ for 1829.
+
+We sought our illustration of GREAT MILTON in the "Oxfordshire" of that
+voluminous and expensive work, "the Beauties of England and Wales;" but,
+strange to say, the family name of Milton is not even mentioned there,
+although the house is still
+
+  By chance or Nature's changing course untrimm'd.
+
+
+The editor, however, tells us, on the authority of Leland, that there
+was at Great Milton a priory "many yeres syns;" and quotes the following
+quaint lines from a tablet in the church:--
+
+  Here lye mother and babe, both without sins,
+  Next birth will make her and her infant, twins.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+ANCIENT FEASTINGS IN GUILDHALL, &c.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+The first time that Guildhall was used on festive occasions was by Sir
+John Shaw Goldsmith, knighted in the field of Bosworth. After building
+the essentials of good kitchens, and other offices, in the year 1500,
+he gave here the mayor's feast, which before had usually been done in
+Grocers' Hall. None of these bills of fare (says Pennant) have reached
+me; but doubtless they were very magnificent. They at length grew to
+such excess, that in the time of Queen Mary a sumptuary law was made
+to restrain the expense both of provisions and _liveries_; but I
+suspect, (says Pennant,) as it lessened the honour of the city, it was
+not long observed, for in 1554, the city thought proper to renew the
+order of council, by way of reminding their fellow citizens of their
+relapse into luxury. Among the great feasts given here on public
+occasions, may be reckoned that given in 1612, on occasion of the
+unhappy marriage of the Prince Palatine with Elizabeth, daughter of
+James I. The next was in 1641, when Charles I. returned from his
+imprudent and inefficacious journey into Scotland. But our ancestors far
+surpassed these feasts. Richard, Earl of Cornwall, brother to Henry III.
+had, at his marriage feast, (as is recorded,) 30,000 dishes of meat.
+Nevil, archbishop of York, had, at his consecration, a feast sufficient
+for 10,000 people. One of the abbots of St. Augustine, at Canterbury,
+invited 5,000 guests to his installation dinner. And King Richard II.,
+at a Christmas feast, had daily 26 oxen, 300 sheep, besides fowls,
+and all other provisions proportionably. So anciently, at a call of
+sergeants-at-law, each sergeant (says Fortescue) spent 1,600 crowns
+in feasting.
+
+P.T.W.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+MAXIMS TO LIVE BY.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+To have too much forethought is the part of a wretch; to have too little
+is the part of a fool.
+
+Self-will is so ardent and active that it will break a world to pieces
+to make a stool to sit on.
+
+Remember always to mix good sense with good things, or they will become
+disgusting.
+
+If there is any person to whom you feel a dislike, that is the person of
+whom you ought never to speak.
+
+Irritability urges us to take a step as much too soon, as sloth does too
+late.
+
+Say the strongest things you can with candour and kindness to a man's
+face, and make the best excuse you can for him with truth and justice,
+behind his back.
+
+Men are to be estimated, as Johnson says, by the mass of character.
+A block of tin may have a grain of silver, but still it is tin; and a
+block of silver may have an alloy of tin; but still it is silver. Some
+men's characters are excellent, yet not without alloy. Others base, yet
+tend to great ends. Bad men are made the same use of as scaffolds; they
+are employed as means to erect a building, and then are taken down and
+destroyed.
+
+If a man has a quarrelsome temper, let him alone; the world will soon
+find him employment. He will soon meet with some one stronger than
+himself, who will repay him better than you can. A man may fight duels
+all his life if he is disposed to quarrel.
+
+A person who objects to tell a friend of his faults, because he has
+faults of his own, acts as a surgeon would, who should refuse to dress
+another's wound because he had a dangerous one himself.
+
+Some evils are irremediable, they are best neither seen nor heard; by
+seeing and hearing things that you cannot remove, you will create
+implacable adversaries; who being guilty aggressors, never forgive.
+
+W.J.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+Manners & Customs of all Nations.
+
+CUSTOMS RELATING TO THE BEARD.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+It was a custom among the Romans to consecrate the first growth of their
+beard to some god; thus Nero at the Gynick games, which he exhibited in
+the Septa, cut off the first growth of his beard, which he placed in a
+golden box, adorned with pearls, and then consecrated it in the Capitol
+to Jupiter.
+
+The nations in the east used mostly to nourish their beards with
+great care and veneration, and it was a punishment among them, for
+licentiousness and adultery, to have the beard of the offending parties
+publicly cut off. Such a sacred regard had they for the preservation
+of their beards, that if a man pledged it for the payment of a debt,
+he would not fail to pay it. Among the Romans a bearded man was a
+proverbial expression for a man of virtue and simplicity. The Romans
+during grief and mourning used to let their hair and beard grow, (Livy)
+while the Greeks on the contrary used to cut off their hair and shave
+their beards on such occasions.[4](Seneca.) When Alexander the Great was
+going to fight against the Persians, one of his officers brought him
+word that all was ready for battle, and demanded if he required anything
+further. On which Alexander replied, "nothing but that the Macedonians
+cut off their beards--for there is not a better handle to take a man by
+than the beard." This shows Alexander intended close fighting. Shaving
+was not introduced among the Romans till late. Pliny tells us that P.
+Ticinias was the first who brought a barber to Rome, which was in the
+454th year from the building of the city. Scipio Africanus was the first
+among the Romans who shaved his beard, and Adrianus the emperor (says
+Dion,) was the first of all the Caesars who nourished his beard.
+
+    [4] From this custom probably originated that in England, of widows
+        concealing their hair for a stated period after the death of
+        their husbands. Indeed, we know of more than one instance of a
+        widow closely _cutting off_ her hair. But these sorrowful
+        observances are becoming less and less frequent.--ED.
+
+The Roman servants or slaves were not allowed to poll their hair,
+or shave their beards. The Jews thought it ignominious to lose their
+beards, 2 Sam. c. x. v. 4. Among the Catti, a nation of Germany, a young
+man was not allowed to shave or cut his hair till he had slain an enemy.
+(Tacitus.) The Lombards or Longobards, derived their Fame from the great
+length of their beards. When Otho the Great used to speak anything
+serious, he swore by his beard, which covered his breast. The Persians
+are fond of long beards. We read in Olearius' Travels of a king of
+Persia who had commanded his steward's head to be cut off, and on its
+being brought to him, he remarked, "what a pity it was, that a man
+possessing such fine mustachios, should have been executed," but added
+he, "Ah! it was your own fault." The Normans considered the beard as an
+indication of distress and misery. The Ancient Britons used always to
+wear the hair on the upper lip, and so strongly were they attached to
+this custom, that when William the Conqueror ordered them to shave their
+upper lip, it was so repugnant to their feelings, that many of them
+chose rather to abandon their country than resign their mustachios. In
+the 15th century, the beard was worn long. In the 16th, it was suffered
+to grow to an amazing length, (see the portraits of Bishop Gardiner, and
+Cardinal Pole, during Queen Mary's reign,) and very often made use of
+as a tooth-pick case. Brantome tells us that Admiral Coligny wore his
+tooth-pick in his beard.
+
+C.B.Z.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+SINGULAR CUSTOM AT ROUEN.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+The chapter of Rouen, (which consists of the archbishop, a dean, fifty
+canons, and ten prebendaries,) have, ever since the year 1156, enjoyed
+the annual privilege of pardoning, on Ascension-day, some individual
+confined within the jurisdiction of the city for murder.
+
+On the morning of Ascension-day, the chapter, having heard many
+examinations and confessions read, proceed to the election of the
+criminal who is to be pardoned; and, the choice being made, his name is
+transmitted in writing to the parliament, which assemble on that day at
+the palace. The parliament then walk in procession to the great chamber,
+where the prisoner is brought before them in irons, and placed on a
+stool; he is informed that the choice has fallen upon him, and that
+he is entitled to the privilege of St. Romain. After this form, he is
+delivered into the hands of the chaplain, who, accompanied by fifty
+armed men, conveys him to a chamber, where the chains are taken from his
+legs and bound about his arms; and in this condition he is conducted
+to a place named the Old Tower, where he awaits the coming of the
+procession. After some little time has elapsed, the procession sets
+out from the cathedral; two of the canons bear the shrine in which
+the relics of St. Romain are presumed to be preserved. When they
+have arrived at the Old Tower, the shrine is placed in the chapel,
+opposite to the criminal, who appears kneeling, with the chains on his
+arms. Then one of the canons, having made him repeat the confession,
+says the prayers usual at the time of giving absolution; after which
+service, the prisoner kneeling still, lifts up the shrine three times,
+amid the acclamations of the people assembled to behold the ceremony.
+The procession then returns to the cathedral, followed by the criminal,
+wearing a chaplet of flowers on his head, and carrying the shrine of the
+saint. After mass has been performed, he has a very serious exhortation
+addressed to him by a monk; and, lastly, he is conducted to an apartment
+near the cathedral, and is supplied with refreshments and a bed for that
+night. In the morning he is dismissed.
+
+G.W.N.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE SKETCH-BOOK
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ABBOTSFORD,
+
+_And Sir Walter Scott's Study_.
+
+[The following extracts are from the private letter of a distinguished
+American gentleman, and form part of one of the most striking articles
+in "The Anniversary for 1829," edited by Allan Cunningham. We intended
+the whole article for our Supplementary "Spirit of the Annuals;" but
+as our engraving will necessarily occupy a few days longer, during
+which time this description of _Abbotsford_ will be printed in
+fifty different forms, we are induced to take it by the forelock, and
+appropriate it for our present number. It is, perhaps, one of the
+most, if not the most, graphic paper in the whole list of "Annuals,"
+notwithstanding there are scores of brilliant gems left for our
+Supplement. Certain arts must have their own pace; but, in our arduous
+catering for novelties for the MIRROR, we often have occasion to wish
+that _block-machinery_ could be applied to engraving on wood.]
+
+"Stepping westward," as Wordsworth says, from the hall, you find
+yourself in a narrow, low, arched room, which runs quite across the
+house, having a blazoned window again at either extremity, and filled
+all over with smaller pieces of armour and weapons, such as swords,
+firelocks, spears, arrows, darts, daggers, &c. &c. &c. Here are
+the pieces, esteemed most precious by reason of their histories
+respectively. I saw, among the rest, Rob Roy's gun, with his initials,
+R.M.C. i.e. Robert Macgregor Campbell, round the touch-hole; the
+blunderbuss of Hofer, a present to Sir Walter from his friend Sir
+Humphrey Davy; a most magnificent sword, as magnificently mounted, the
+gift of Charles the First to the great Montrose, and having the arms
+of Prince Henry worked on the hilt; the hunting bottle of bonnie
+King Jamie; Bonaparte's pistols (found in his carriage at Waterloo,
+I believe), _cum multis aliis_. I should have mentioned that
+stag-horns and bulls' horns (the petrified relics of the old mountain
+monster, I mean), and so forth, are suspended in great abundance above
+all the doorways of these armories; and that, in one corner, a dark one
+as it ought to be, there is a complete assortment of the old Scottish
+instruments of torture, not forgetting the very thumbikins under which
+Cardinal Carstairs did _not_ flinch, and the more terrific iron
+crown of Wisheart the Martyr, being a sort of barred headpiece, screwed
+on the victim at the stake, to prevent him from crying aloud in his
+agony.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Beyond the smaller, or rather I should say, the narrower armoury,
+lies the dining parlour proper, however; and though there is nothing
+Udolphoish here, yet I can well believe that when lighted up and the
+curtains drawn at night, the place may give no bad notion of the private
+snuggery of some lofty lord abbot of the time of the Canterbury Tales.
+The room is a very handsome one, with a low and very richly carved roof
+of dark oak again; a huge projecting bow window, and the dais elevated
+_more majorum_; the ornaments of the roof, niches for lamps, &c.
+&c. in short, all the minor details, are, I believe, fac similes after
+Melrose. The walls are hung in crimson, but almost entirely covered with
+pictures, of which the most remarkable are--the parliamentary general,
+Lord Essex, a full length on horseback; the Duke of Monmouth, by Lely; a
+capital Hogarth, by himself; Prior and Gay, both by Jervas; and the head
+of Mary Queen of Scots, in a charger, painted by Amias Canrod, the day
+after the decapitation at Fotheringay, and sent some years ago as a
+present to Sir Walter from a Prussian nobleman, in whose family it had
+been for more than two centuries. It is a most deathlike performance,
+and the countenance answers well enough to the coins of the unfortunate
+beauty, though not at all to any of the portraits I have happened to
+see. I believe there is no doubt as to the authenticity of this most
+curious picture. Among various family pictures, I noticed particularly
+Sir Walter's great grandfather, the old cavalier mentioned in one of
+the epistles in Marmion, who let his beard grow after the execution of
+Charles I., and who here appears, accordingly, with a most venerable
+appendage of silver whiteness, reaching even unto his girdle.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A narrower passage leads to a charming breakfast room, which looks to
+the Tweed on one side, and towards Yarrow and Ettricke, famed in song,
+on the other: a cheerful room, fitted up with novels, romances, and
+poetry, I could perceive, at one end; and the other walls covered thick
+and thicker with a most valuable and beautiful collection of watercolour
+drawings, chiefly by Turner and Thomson of Duddingstone, the designs,
+in short, for the magnificent work entitled "Provincial Antiquities of
+Scotland." There is one very grand oil painting over the chimney-piece,
+Fastcastle, by Thomson, alias the Wolf's Crag of the Bride of
+Lammermoor, one of the most majestic and melancholy sea-pieces I ever
+saw; and some large black and white drawings of the Vision of Don
+Roderick, by Sir James Steuart of Allanbank (whose illustrations of
+Marmion and Mazeppa you have seen or heard of), are at one end of the
+parlour. The room is crammed with queer cabinets and boxes, and in a
+niche there is a bust of old Henry Mackenzie, by Joseph of Edinburgh.
+Returning towards the armoury, you have, on one side of a most religious
+looking corridor, a small greenhouse, with a fountain playing before
+it--the very fountain that in days of yore graced the cross of
+Edinburgh, and used to flow with claret at the coronation of the
+Stuarts--a pretty design, and a standing monument of the barbarity of
+modern innovation. From the small armoury you pass, as I said before,
+into the drawing-room, a large, lofty, and splendid _salon_, with
+antique ebony furniture and crimson silk hangings, cabinets, china, and
+mirrors _quantum suff_, and some portraits; among the rest glorious
+John Dryden, by Sir Peter Lely, with his gray hairs floating about in a
+most picturesque style, eyes full of wildness, presenting the old Bard,
+I take it, in one of those "tremulous moods," in which we have it on
+record he appeared when interrupted in the midst of his Alexander's
+Feast. From this you pass into the largest of all the apartments, the
+library, which, I must say, is really a noble room. It is an oblong of
+some fifty feet by thirty, with a projection in the centre, opposite the
+fireplace, terminating in a grand bow window, fitted up with books also,
+and, in fact, constituting a sort of chapel to the church. The roof is
+of carved oak again--a very rich pattern--I believe chiefly _a la_
+Roslin, and the bookcases, which are also of richly carved oak, reach
+high up the walls all round. The collection amounts, in this room, to
+some fifteen or twenty thousand volumes, arranged according to their
+subjects: British history and antiquities, filling the whole of the
+chief wall; English poetry and drama, classics and miscellanies, one
+end: foreign literature, chiefly French and German, the other. The cases
+on the side opposite the fire are wired and locked, as containing
+articles very precious and very portable. One consists entirely of books
+and MSS. relating to the insurrections of 1715 and 1745; and another
+(within the recess of the bow window), of treatises _de re magica_,
+both of these being (I am told, and can well believe), in their several
+ways, collections of the rarest curiosity. My cicerone pointed out, in
+one corner, a magnificent set of Mountfaucon, ten volumes folio, bound
+in the richest manner in scarlet, and stamped with the royal arms, the
+gift of his present majesty. There are few living authors of whose works
+presentation copies are not to be found here. My friend showed me
+inscriptions of that sort in, I believe, every European dialect extant.
+The books are all in prime condition, and bindings that would satisfy
+Mr. Dibdin. The only picture is Sir Walter's eldest son, in hussar
+uniform, and holding his horse, by Allan of Edinburgh, a noble portrait,
+over the fireplace; and the only bust is that of Shakspeare, from the
+Avon monument, in a small niche in the centre of the east side. On a
+rich stand of porphyry, in one corner, reposes a tall silver urn,
+filled with bones from the Piraeus, and bearing the inscription,
+"Given by George Gordon, Lord Byron, to Sir Walter Scott, Bart." It
+_contained_ the letter which accompanied the gift till lately: it
+has disappeared; no one guesses who took it, but whoever he was, as my
+guide observed, he must have been a thief for thieving's sake truly,
+as he durst no more exhibit his autograph than tip himself a bare
+bodkin. Sad, infamous tourist, indeed! Although I saw abundance of
+comfortable-looking desks and arm chairs, yet this room seemed rather
+too large and fine for _work_, and I found accordingly, after
+passing a double pair of doors, that there was a _sanctum_ within
+and beyond this library. And here you may believe, was not to me the
+least interesting, though by no means the most splendid, part of the
+suite.
+
+The lion's own den proper, then, is a room of about five-and-twenty
+feet square by twenty feet high, containing of what is properly called
+furniture nothing but a small writing-table in the centre, a plain
+arm-chair covered with black leather--a very comfortable one though, for
+I tried it--and a single chair besides, plain symptoms that this is no
+place for company. On either side of the fireplace there are shelves
+filled with duodecimos and books of reference, chiefly, of course,
+folios; but except these there are no books save the contents of a light
+gallery which runs round three sides of the room, and is reached by a
+hanging stair of carved oak in one corner. You have been both at the
+Elisée Bourbon and Malmaison, and remember the library at one or other
+of those places, I forget which; this gallery is much in the same style.
+There are only two portraits, an original of the beautiful and
+melancholy head of Claverhouse, and a small full length of Rob Roy.
+Various little antique cabinets stand round about, each having a bust
+on it: Stothard's Canterbury Pilgrims are on the mantelpiece; and in
+one corner I saw a collection of really useful weapons, those of the
+forest-craft, to wit--axes and bills and so forth of every calibre.
+There is only one window pierced in a very thick wall, so that the
+place is rather sombre; the light tracery work of the gallery overhead
+harmonizes with the books well. It is a very comfortable-looking room,
+and very unlike any other I ever was in. I should not forget some
+Highland claymores, clustered round a target over the Canterbury people,
+nor a writing-box of carved wood, lined with crimson velvet, and
+furnished with silver plate of right venerable aspect, which looked as
+if it might have been the implement of old Chaucer himself, but which
+from the arms on the lid must have belonged to some Indian prince of
+the days of Leo the Magnificent at the furthest.
+
+The view to the Tweed from all the principal apartments is beautiful.
+You look out from among bowers, over a lawn of sweet turf, upon the
+clearest of all streams, fringed with the wildest of birch woods, and
+backed with the green hills of Ettricke Forest. The rest you must
+imagine. Altogether, the place destined to receive so many pilgrimages
+contains within itself beauties not unworthy of its associations. Few
+poets ever inhabited such a place; none, ere now, ever created one.
+It is the realization of dreams: some Frenchman called it, I hear,
+"a romance in stone and lime."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+SPIRIT OF DISCOVERY
+
+_Aerial Voyages of Spiders_.
+
+
+The number of the aëronautic spiders occasionally suspended in the
+atmosphere, says Mr. Murray, I believe to be almost incredible, could
+we ascertain their amount. I was walking with a friend on the 9th, and
+noticed that there were four of these insects on his hat, at the moment
+there were three on my own; and from the rapidity with which they
+covered its surface with their threads, I cannot doubt that they are
+chiefly concerned in the production of that tissue which intercepts the
+dew, and which, illuminated by the morning sun, "glitters with gold,
+and with rubies and sapphires." Indeed, I have noticed that, when the
+frequent descent of the aëronautic spider was determined, a newly rolled
+turnip field was, in a few hours, overspread by a carpet of their
+threads. It may be remarked that our little aëronaut is very greedy of
+moisture, though abstemious in other respects. Its food is perhaps
+peculiar, and only found in the superior regions of the sky. Like the
+rest of its tribe, it is doubtless carnivorous, and may subserve some
+highly important purpose in the economy of Providence; such, for
+instance, as the destruction of that truly formidable, though almost
+microscopically minute insect, the Fùria infernàlis, whose wounds are
+stated to be mortal. Its existence has been indeed questioned, but by
+no means disapproved; that, and some others, injurious to man, or to
+the inferior creation, may be its destined prey, and thus our little
+aëronaut, unheeded by the common eye, may subserve an important good.
+
+Mr. Bowman, F.L.S. says, "We arrested several of these little aëronauts
+in their flight, and placed them on the brass gnomon of the sundial, and
+had the gratification to see them prepare for, and recommence, their
+aerial voyage. Having crawled about for a short time, to reconnoitre,
+they turned their abdomens from the current of air, and elevated them
+almost perpendicularly, supporting themselves solely on the claws of
+their fore legs, at the same instant shooting out four or five, often
+six or eight, extremely fine webs, several yards long, which waved
+in the breeze, diverging from each other like a pencil of rays, and
+strongly reflecting the sunbeams. After the insects had remained
+stationary in this apparently unnatural position for about half a
+minute, they sprang off from the stage with considerable agility, and
+launched themselves into the air. In a few seconds after they were seen
+sailing majestically along, without any apparent effort, their legs
+contracted together, and lying perfectly quiet on their backs, suspended
+from their silken parachutes, and presenting to the lover of nature a
+far more interesting spectacle than the balloon of the philosopher. One
+of these natural aëronauts I followed, which, sailing in the sunbeams,
+had two distinct and widely diverging fasciculi of webs, and their
+position in the air was such, that a line uniting them would have been
+at right angles with the direction of the breeze."--_Mag. Natural
+History_.
+
+
+_The Ichneumon Fly_.
+
+There are several species of ichneumon which make thinnings among the
+caterpillars of the cabbage butterfly. The process of one species
+is this:--while the caterpillar is feeding, the ichneumon fly hovers
+over it, and, with its piercer, perforates the fatty part of the
+caterpillar's back in many places, and in each deposits an egg, by
+means of the two parts of the sheath uniting together, and thus forming
+a tube down which the egg is conveyed into the perforation made by the
+piercer of the fly. The caterpillar unconscious of what will ensue keeps
+feeding on, until it changes into a chrysalis; while in that torpid
+state, the eggs of the ichneumon are hatched, and the interior of the
+body of the caterpillar serves as food for the caterpillars of the
+ichneumon fly. When these have fed their accustomed time, and are about
+to change into the pupa state, they, by an instinct given them, attack
+the vital part of the caterpillar (a most wonderful economy in nature,
+that this process should be delayed until they have no more occasion
+for food.) They then spin themselves minute cases within the body of
+the caterpillar; and instead of a butterfly coming forth (which, if a
+female, would have probably laid six hundred eggs, thus producing as
+many caterpillars, whose food would be the cabbage,) a race of these
+little ichneumon flies issues forth, ready to perform the task assigned
+them, of keeping within due limits those fell destroyers of our
+vegetables.--_Mr. Carpenter--in Gill's Repository._
+
+
+_Hawking_.
+
+Professional falconers have been for many years natives of the village
+of _Falconsward_, near Bois le Duc, in Holland. A race of them was
+there born and bred, whence supplies have been drawn for the service of
+all Europe; but as there has been no sufficient inducement for the young
+men to follow the employment of their forefathers, numbers are dead or
+worn out; and there only remains John Pells, now in the service of John
+Dawson Downes, Esq., of Old Gunton Hill, Suffolk.
+
+The hawks which have been trained for the field, are the slight falcon
+and the goshawk, which are the species generally used in falconry. The
+former is called a long-winged hawk, or one of the _lure_; the
+latter, a short-winged hawk, or one of the _fist_.
+
+The Icelander is the largest hawk that is known, and highly esteemed by
+falconers, especially for its great powers and tractable disposition.
+The gyr falcon is less than the Icelander, but much larger than the
+slight falcon. These powerful birds are flown at herons and hares, and
+are the only hawks that are fully a match for the fork-tailed kite. The
+merlin and hobby are both small hawks and fit only for small birds, as
+the blackbird, &c. The sparrow-hawk may be also trained to hunt; his
+flight is rapid for a short distance, kills partridges well in the early
+season, and is the best of all for landrails.
+
+The slight falcon takes up his abode every year, from October and
+November until the spring, upon Westminster Abbey, and other churches in
+the metropolis. This is well known to the London pigeon-fanciers, from
+the great havoc they make in their flight.--_Sir John Sebright_
+
+
+_Technicalities of Science_.
+
+The inutility of science, written in a merely technical form, is well
+exemplified in the instance of Cicero. He was advised by his friends not
+to write his works on Greek Philosophy in Latin; because those who cared
+for it would prefer his work in Greek, and those who did not would read
+neither Greek nor Latin. The splendid success of his _De Officiis_,
+his _De Finibus_, his _De Natura Deorum_, &c., showed that his
+friends were wrong. He persevered in the popular style, and led the
+fashion.--_Mag. Nat. Hist._
+
+
+_Doubtful Discoveries_.
+
+It may serve, in some measure, to confirm M. Dutroehet's recent opinion
+of the non-existence of miscroscopic animalcula, that the celebrated
+Spallanzani persuaded himself that he could see Animálcula infusòria
+which could be seen by nobody else. He attributed his own superiority of
+vision, in this respect, to long practice in using the microscope. The
+philosopher exulted in his enviable distinction, when a peasant, to whom
+he showed his animalcula, could perceive nothing but muddy
+water.--_Ibid._
+
+
+_Faculties of Brutes_.
+
+The dog is the only animal that dreams; and he and the elephant the
+only animals that understand looks; the elephant is the only animal
+that, besides man, feels _ennui_; the dog, the only quadruped that
+has been brought to speak. Leibnitz bears witness to a hound in Saxony,
+that could speak distinctly thirty words.--_Medical Gazette._
+
+
+_Sea Air_.
+
+The atmosphere, in the vicinity of the sea, usually contains a portion
+of the muriates over which it has been wafted. It is a curious fact, but
+well ascertained, that the air best adapted to vegetables is pernicious
+to animal life, and _vice versa._ Now, upon the sea-coast,
+accordingly, animals thrive, and vegetables decline.--_Hurwood's
+Southern Coast._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+Chingford Church.
+
+
+[Illustration: Chingford Church]
+
+
+  The roof with moss is green, and twines
+  Dark ivy round the sculptur'd lines.
+
+DELTA.
+
+
+The pleasant village of CHINGFORD, in Essex, may be called a vignette of
+the topographer's "_rus in urbe_," it being only nine miles distant
+from the heart of London, and consequently almost within its vortex.
+It stands on the banks of the river Lea, and derives its name from the
+Saxon word Cing and _ford_, (signifying the king's ford,) there
+having formerly been a ford here; the adjoining meadows being designated
+the king's meads, and the Lea, the king's stream. There appears to have
+been two manors in this parish, one of which was granted by Edward
+the Confessor to the cathedral of St. Paul's, but surrendered at the
+reformation to Henry VIII.; the other, according to Domesday Book, was
+held by Orgar, the Thane; and from the latter another manor has since
+been taken.
+
+The "ivy-mantled" church, represented in the above vignette, is
+dedicated to St. Peter and St. Paul, and consists of a chancel, nave,
+and south aisle, with a low square tower at the west end, containing
+three bells. Within the church are a few interesting monuments, among
+which is one to the memory of Robert Rampton, who died in 1585 and was
+yeoman of the chamber to Edward VI., and the Queens Mary and Elizabeth.
+It stands in the south aisle, with an inscription on a brass plate
+against the wall, underneath which is an altar tomb covered with a slab
+of black marble, on which are the effigies, in brass, of Robert Rampton,
+and his wife Margaret, who died in 1590.
+
+Altogether, Chingford is one of the prettiest villages near London, and
+its church is a picturesque attraction for pedestrian tourists, and such
+as love to steal away from the maelstroom of an overgrown metropolis, to
+glide into scenes of "calm contemplation and poetic ease;" although much
+of the journey lies through avenues of bricks and mortar, and trim roads
+that swarm with busy toil.
+
+In the parish of Chingford is an estate called Scots Mayhew, or
+Brindwoods, which is held of the rector by the following singular
+tenure:--"Upon every alienation, the owner of the estate, with his wife,
+and a man and maid servant, (each upon a horse) come to the parsonage,
+where the owner does his homage, and pays his relief in manner
+following:--He blows three blasts with his horn, carries a hawk on his
+fist, and his servant has a greyhound in a slip--both for the use of the
+rector that day. He receives a chicken for his hawk, a peck of oats for
+his horse, and a loaf of bread for his greyhound. They all dine, after
+which the master blows three blasts on his horn, and they all
+depart."[5]
+
+    [5] Morant's Essex, vol. i. p. 57.
+
+For the original of the engraving, and the substance of this
+description, our thanks are due to S.I.B.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+OLD SONG.
+
+The old minstrels saw far and deep, and clear into all
+heart-mysteries--and, low-born, humble men as they were, their tragic or
+comic strains strike like electricity.--_Blackwood._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+SPIRIT OF THE
+Public Journals.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE SHAVING SHOP
+
+
+  'Tis not an half hour's work--
+  A Cupid and a fiddle, and the thing's done.
+
+FLETCHER.
+
+
+"Hold back your head, if you please, sir, that I may get this napkin
+properly fastened--there now," said Toby Tims, as, securing the pin, he
+dipped his razor into hot water, and began working up with restless
+brush the lather of his soapbox.
+
+"I dare say you have got a newspaper there," said I; "are you a
+politician, Mr. Tims?"
+
+"Oh, just a little bit of one. I get Bell's Messenger at second
+hand from a neighbour, who has it from his cousin in the Borough,
+who, I believe, is the last reader of a club of fourteen, who take
+it among them; and, being last, as I observed, sir, he has the paper
+to himself into the bargain.--Please exalt your chin, sir, and keep
+your head a little to one side--there, sir," added Toby, cammencing
+his operations with the brush, and hoarifying my barbal extremity,
+as the facetious Thomas Hood would probably express it. "Now, sir--a
+_leetle_ more round, if you please--there, sir, there. It is
+a most entertaining paper, and beats all for news. In fact, it is
+full of every thing, sir--every, every thing--accidents--charity
+sermons--markets--boxing--Bible societies--horse racing--child
+murders--the theatres--foreign wars--Bow-street
+reports--electioneering--and Day and Martin's blacking."
+
+"Are you a bit of a bruiser, Mr. Tims?"
+
+"Oh, bless your heart, sir, only a _leetle_--a very _leetle_.
+A turn-up with the gloves, or so, your honour. I'm but a light
+weight--only a light weight--seven stone and a half, sir; but a rare bit
+of stuff, though I say it myself, sir--Begging your pardon. I dare say I
+have put some of the soap into your mouth. Now, sir, now--please let me
+hold your nose, sir."
+
+"Scarcely civil, Mr. Toby," said I, "scarcely civil--Phroo! let me spit
+out the suds."
+
+"I will be done in a moment, sir--in half a moment. Well, sir, speaking
+of razors, they should be always properly tempered with hot water, a
+_leetle_ dip more or less. You see now how it glides over, smooth
+and smack as your hand.--Keep still, sir; I might have given you a nick
+just now. You don't choose a _leetle_ of the mustachy left?"
+
+"No, no--off with it all. No matrimonial news stirring in this quarter
+just now, Mr. Tims?"
+
+"Nothing extremely particular.--Now, sir, you are fit for the king's
+levee, so far as my department is concerned. But you cannot go out just
+now, sir--see how it rains--a perfect water-spout. Just feel yourself at
+home, sir, for a _leetle_, and take a peep around you. That block,
+sir, has been very much admired--extremely like the Wenus de
+Medicine--capital nose--and as for the wig department, catch me for
+that, sir. But of all them there pictures hanging around, yon is the
+favourite of myself and the connessoors."
+
+"Ay, Mr. Tims," said I, "that is truly a gem--an old lover kneeling at
+the foot of his young sweetheart, and two fellows in buckram taking a
+peep at them from among the trees."
+
+"Capital, sir--capital. I'll tell you a rare good story, sir, connected
+with that picture and my own history, with your honour's leave, sir."
+
+"With all my heart, Mr. Tims--you are very obliging."
+
+"Well then, sir, take that chair, and I will get on like a house on
+fire; but if you please, don't put me off my clew, sir.--Concerning that
+picture and my courtship, the most serious epoch of my life, there is
+a _leetle_ bit of a story which I would like to be a beacon to
+others; and if your honour is still a bachelor, and not yet stranded on
+the shoals of matrimony, it may be _Werbum Sapienti_, as O'Toole,
+the Irish schoolmaster, used to observe, when in the act of applying the
+birch to the booby's back.
+
+"Well, sir, having received a grammatical education, and been brought up
+as a peruke-maker from my earliest years--besides having seen a deal of
+high life, and the world in general, in carrying false curls, bandeaux,
+and other artificial head-gear paraphernalia, in bandboxes to boarding
+schools, and so on--a desire naturally sprung up within me, being now in
+my twenty-first year, and worth a guinea a week of wages, to look about
+for what old kind Seignor Fiddle-stringo, the minuet-master, used to
+recommend under the title of a _cara sposa_--open shop--and act
+head frizzle in an establishment of my own.
+
+"Very good, sir--In the pursuit of this virtuous purpose, I cast a
+sheep's eye over the broad face of society, and at length, from a number
+of eligible specimens, I selected three, who, whether considered in the
+light of natural beauty, or mental accomplishment, struck me forcibly as
+suitable coadjutors for a man--for a man like your humble servant."
+
+"A most royal bow that, Mr. Tims. Well, proceed, if you please."
+
+"Very good, sir--well, then, to proceed. The first of these was Miss
+Diana Tonkin, a young lady, who kept her brother's snuff-shop, at the
+sign of the African astride the Tobacco Barrel--a rare beauty, who was
+on the most intimate talking terms with half a hundred young bloods and
+beaux, who looked in during lounging hours, being students of law,
+physic, and divinity, half-pay ensigns, and theatrical understrappers,
+to replenish their boxes with Lundyfoot, whiff a Havannah cigar, or
+masticate pigtail. No wonder that she was spoiled by flattery, Miss
+Diana, for she was a bit of a beauty; and though she had but one eye--by
+heavens, what an eye that was!"
+
+"She must have been an irresistible creature, certainly, Mr. Tims,"
+said I. "Well, how did you come on?"
+
+"Irresistible! but you shall hear, sir. I foresaw that, in soliciting
+the honour of the fair damsel's hand, I should have much opposition to
+encounter from the rivalry of the three learned professions, to say
+nothing of the gentlemen of the sword and of the buskin; but, thinks
+I to myself, 'faint heart never won fair lady,' so I at once set up a
+snuff-box, looked as tip-topping as possible, and commenced canvassing.
+
+"The second _elite_ (for I know a _leetle_ French, having for
+three months, during my apprenticeship, had the honour of frizling the
+head-gear of Count Witruvius de Caucason, who occupied private
+state-lodgings at the sign of the Blue Boar in the Poultry, and who
+afterwards decamped without clearing scores)--the second _elite_
+(for I make a point, sir, of having two strings to my bow) was Mrs. Joan
+Sweetbread, a person of exquisite parts, but fiery temper, at that time
+aged thirty-three, twelve stone weight, head cook and housekeeper to Sir
+Anthony Macturk, a Scotch baronet, who rusticated in the vicinity of
+town. I made her a few evening visits, and we talked love affairs over
+muffins and a cup of excellent congou. Then what a variety of jams and
+jellies! I never returned without a disordered stomach, and wishing
+Highland heather-honey at the devil. Yet, after all, to prove a
+hoax!--for even when I was on the point of popping the question, and had
+fastened my silk Jem Belcher with a knowing _leetle_ knot to set
+out for that purpose, I learned from Francie, the stable-boy, that she
+had the evening before eloped with the coachman, and returned to her
+post that forenoon metamorphosed into Madam Trot.
+
+"I first thought, sir, of hanging myself over the first lamp-post; but,
+after a _leetle_ consideration, I determined to confound Madam
+Trot, and all other fickle fair ones, by that very night marrying Miss
+Diana. I hastened on, rushed precipitately into the shop, and on the
+subject--and hear, oh heaven, and believe, oh earth! was met, not by a
+plump denial, but was shown the door."
+
+"Upon my word, Mr. Tims," said I, "you have been a most unfortunate man.
+I wonder you recovered after such mighty reverses; but I hope----"
+
+"Hope! that is the word, sir, the very word, I still had hope; so, after
+ten days' horrible melancholy, in which I cropped not a few heads in a
+novel and unprecedented style, I at it again, and laid immediate and
+close siege to the last and loveliest of the trio--one by whom I was
+shot dead at first sight, and of whom it might be said, as I once heard
+Kean justly observe in a very pretty tragedy, and to a numerous
+audience, 'We ne'er shall look upon her like again!'"
+
+"Capital, Mr. Tims. Well, how did you get on?"
+
+"A moment's patience, with your honour's leave.--Ah! truly might it be
+said of her, that she was descended from the high and great--her
+grandfather having been not only six feet three, without the shoes, but
+for forty odd years principal bell-ringer in the steeple of St. Giles's,
+Cripplegate; and her grandmother, for long and long, not only head
+dry-nurse to one of the noblest families in all England, but _bona
+fide_ twenty-two stone avoirdupois--so that it was once proposed, by
+the undertaker, to bury her at twice! As to this nonpareil of lovely
+flesh and blood, her name was Lucy Mainspring, the daughter of a
+horologer, sir,--a watchmaker--_vulgo_ so called--and though
+fattish, she was very fair--fair! by Jupiter, (craving your honour's
+pardon for swearing,) she fairly made me give all other thoughts the
+cut, and twisted the passions of my heart with the red-hot torturing
+irons of love. 'Pon honour, sir, I almost grow foolish when I think of
+those days; but love, sir, nothing can resist love."
+
+"I hope, Mr. Tims, you were in better luck with Miss Mainspring?"
+
+"A _leetle_ a _leetle_ patience, your honour, and all will be
+out as quick as directly--in the twinkling of a bed-post.--For three
+successive nights I sat up in a brown study, with a four-in-the-pound
+candle burning before me till almost cock-crow, composing a love-letter,
+a most elaborate affair, the pure overflowing of _la belle passion_,
+all about Venus, Cupids, bows and arrows, hearts, darts, and them things,
+which, having copied neatly over on a handsome sheet of foolscap, turned
+up with gilt, (for, though I say it myself, I scribble a smart fist,) I
+made a blotch of red wax on the back as large as a dollar, that thereon
+I might the more indelibly impress a seal, with a couple of pigeons
+cooing upon it, and '_toujours wotre_' for the motto. This I popped
+into the post-office, and waited patiently--may I add confidently?--for
+the result.
+
+"No answer having come as I expected _per_ return, I began to smell
+that I was in the wrong box; so, on the following evening, I had a
+polite visit from her respectable old father, Daniel Mainspring, who
+asked me what my intentions were?--'To commence wig-maker on my own
+bottom,' answered I.--'But with respect to my daughter, sir?'--'Why, to
+be sure, to make her mistress, sir.'--'Mistress!' quoth he, 'did I hear
+you right, sir?'--'I hope you are not hard of hearing, Mr. Mainspring.
+I wish, sir--between us, sir--you understand, sir--to marry her,
+sir.'--'Then you can't have her, sir.'--'But I must, sir, for I can't
+do without her, sir.'--'Then you may buy a rope.'--'Ah! you would not
+sign my death-warrant--wouldn't you not now, Mr. Mainspring?'--'Before
+going,' said he, rummaging his huge coat-pockets with both hands at
+once, 'there is your letter, which I read over patiently, instead of my
+daughter, who has never seen it; and I hope you will excuse the liberty
+I take of calling you a great fool, and wishing you a good morning.'
+
+"Now, though a lad of mettle, you know, sir, it would not have been
+quite the thing to have called out my intended father-in-law; so, with
+amazing forbearance, bridling my passion, I allowed him to march off
+triumphantly, and stood, with the letter in my hand, looking down the
+alley after him, strutting along, staff in hand, like a recruiting
+sergeant, as if he had been a phoenix.
+
+"A man of my penetration was not long in scenting out who was the
+formidable rival to whom Daddy Mainspring alluded. _Sacre_! to
+think the mercenary old hunks could dream of sacrificing my lovely
+Lucy to such a hobgoblin of a fellow as a superannuated dragoon
+quartermaster, with a beak like Bardolph's in the play. But I had some
+confidence in my own qualifications; and as I gave a sly glance down at
+my nether person, 'Dash-the-wig-of-him!' thought I to myself, 'if he can
+sport a leg like that of Toby Tims.' I accordingly determined not to be
+discomfited, and took the earliest opportunity of presenting Miss Lucy,
+through a sure channel, with a passionate billet doux, a patent pair of
+gilt bracelets, and a box of Ruspini's tooth-powder. By St. Patrick and
+all the powers, it was shocking to suppose that such an angel as the
+cherry-cheeked Lucy should be stolen from me by such an apology for a
+gallant, as Quartermaster Bottlenose of the Tipperary Rangers. 'Twas
+murder, by Jupiter."
+
+"I perfectly agree with you, Mr. Tims; Did you challenge him to the
+duello?"
+
+"A _leetle_ patience, if you please, sir, and you shall hear
+all. During the violence of my love-fits, I committed a variety of
+professional mistakes. I sent at one time a pot of bear's grease away
+by the mail, in a wig-box, to a member of parliament in Yorkshire; and
+burned a whole batch of baked hair to ashes, while singing Moore's 'When
+he who adores thee,' in attitude, before a block, dressed up for the
+occasion with a fashionable wig upon it--to say nothing of my having, in
+a fit of abstraction, given a beautiful young lady, who was going that
+same evening to a Lord Mayor's ball, the complete charity-workhouse cut,
+leaving her scalp as bare as the back of my hand. But cheer up!--to my
+happy astonishment, sir, matters worked like a charm. What a
+parley-vooing and billet-dooing passed between us! We would have
+required a porter for the sole purpose. Then we had stolen interviews
+of two hours' duration each, for several successive nights, at the
+old horologer's back-door, during which, besides a multiplicity of
+small-talk--thanks to his deafness--I tried my utmost to entrap her
+affections, by reciting sonnets, and spouting bits of plays in the
+manner of the tragedy performers. These were the happy times, sir! The
+world was changed for me. Paddington canal seemed the river Pactolus,
+and Rag-Fair Elysium!
+
+"The old boy, however, ignorant of our orgies, was still bothering
+his brains to bring about matrimony between his daughter and the
+veteran--who, though no younger than Methusalem, as stiff as the
+Monument, and as withered as Belzoni's Piccadilly mummy, had yet
+the needful, sir--had abundance of the wherewithal--crops of yellow
+shiners--lots of the real--sported a gig, and kept on board wages a
+young shaver of all work, with a buff jacket, turned up with sky-blue
+facings. Only think, sir--only ponder for a moment what a formidable
+rival I had!"
+
+"I hope you beat him off, however," said I. "The greater danger the more
+honour you know, Mr. Tims."
+
+"Of that anon, sir.--Lucy, on her part, angelic creature, professed that
+she could not dream of being undutiful towards kind old Pa; and that,
+unless desperate measures were resorted to, _quamprimum_, in the
+twinkling of a bed-post she would be under the disagreeable necessity to
+bundle and go with the disabled man of war to the temple of Hymen.
+Sacrilegious thought! I could not permit it to enter my bosom, and
+(pardon me for a moment, sir) when I looked down, and caught a glance of
+my own natty-looking, tight little leg, and dapper Hessians, I
+recommended her strongly to act on the principle of the Drury-lane
+play-bill, which says, 'All for Love, or the World well lost.'
+
+"Well, sir, hark ye, just to show how things come about. Shortly after
+this, on the anniversary of my honoured old master, Zachariah Pigtail's
+birth, when we were allowed to strike work at noon, I determined, as
+a _dernier resort_, as a clincher, sir, to act the genteel, and
+invite Miss Lucy, in her furs and falderals, to accompany me to the
+Exhibition of Pictures. Heavens, sir, how I dressed on that day! The
+Day and Martin of my boots reflected on the shady side of the street.
+I took half an hour in tying and retying my neckcloth _en mode_.
+My handkerchief smelt of lavender, and my hair of oil of thyme--my
+waistcoat of bergamot, and my inexpressibles of musk. I was a perfect
+civet for perfumery. My coat, cut in the jemmy fashion, I buttoned to
+suffocation; but 'pon honour, believe me, sir, no stays, and my shirt
+neck had been starched _per order_, to the consistence of tin.
+In short, to be brief, I found, or fancied myself killing--a most
+irresistible fellow.
+
+"I did not dare, however, to call for Miss Lucy at old Pa's, but waited
+for her at the corner of the street, patiently drumming on my boot, with
+a knowing little bit of bamboo; and projecting my left arm to her, off
+we marched in triumph.
+
+"The Exhibition Rooms were crowded with the _ton_; and to be sure a
+great many fine things were there. Would you had seen them, sir. There
+were admirals in blue, and generals in red--portraits of my lord this,
+and my lady that--land scenes, and sea scenes, and hunting scenes, with
+thips, and woods, and old castles, all amazingly like life. In short,
+sir, Providence seems to have guided us to the spot, where we saw a
+picture--_the_ picture, sir--the pattern copy of that there
+picture, sir--and heavens! such a piece of work--but of that anon--it
+did the business, sir. No sooner had I perused it through my
+quizzing-glass, which, I confess, that I had brought with me more for
+ornament than use--having eyes like a hawk--than I pathetically
+exclaimed to Lucy--'Behold, my love, the history of our fates!' Lucy
+said, 'Tuts, Toby Tims,' and gave a giggle; but I went on in solemn
+gravity, before a circle of seemingly electrified spectators.
+
+"'Spose now, Miss Lucy,' said I, holding her by the finger of her
+Limerick glove; 'spose now, that I had invited you to take an outside
+seat on the Hampstead Flying Phoenix with me, to go out to a rural
+junketing, on May day in the afternoon. Very well--there we find
+ourselves alive and kicking, forty couple footing it on the green,
+and choosing, according to our tastes, reels, jigs, minuets, or
+bumpkins. 'Spose then, that I have handed you down to the bottom of
+five-and-twenty couple at a country-dance, to the tune of Sir Roger
+de Coverley, Morgiana in Ireland, Petronella, or the Triumph; and,
+notwithstanding our having sucked a couple of oranges a-piece, we are
+both quite in a broth of perspiration. Very good--so says I to you,
+making a genteel bow, 'Do you please to walk aside, and cool yourself in
+them there green arbours, and I will be with you as quick as directly,
+with a glass of lemonade or cherry brandy?' So says you to me, dropping
+a curtsey _a la mode_, 'With ineffable pleasure, sir;' and away you
+trip into the shade like a sunbeam.
+
+"'Now, Lucy, my love, take a good look of that picture. That is you,
+'spose, seated on the turf, a _leetle_ behind the pillar dedicated
+to Apollar; and you, blooming like a daffodilly in April, are waiting
+with great thirst, and not a little impatience, for my promised
+appearance, from the sign of the Hen and Chickens, with the cordials,
+and a few biscuits on a salver--when, lo! an old bald-pated, oily-faced,
+red-nosed Cameronian ranter, whom by your elegant negligee capering you
+have fairly danced out of his dotard senses, comes pawing up to you like
+Polito's polar bear, drops on his knees, and before you can avert your
+nose from a love-speech, embalmed in the fumes of tobacco and purl, the
+hoary villain has beslobbered your lily-white fingers, and is protesting
+unalterable affection, at the rate of twelve miles an hour, inclusive of
+stoppages. Now, Lucy, love, did you ever,--say upon your honour,--did
+you ever witness such a spectacle of humanity? Tell me now?
+
+"'Very well. Now, love, take a peep down the avenue, and yon is me, yon
+tight, handsome little figure, with the Spanish cap and cloak, attended
+by a trusty servant in the same costume, to whom I am pointing where he
+is to bring the cherry-brandy; when, lo! we perceive the hideous
+apparition!--and straightway rushing forward, like two tigers on a
+jackass, we seize the wigless dotard, and, calling for a blanket, the
+whole respectable company of forty couples and upwards, come crowding to
+the spot, and lend a willing hand in rotation, four by four, in tossing
+Malachi, the last of the lovers, till the breath of life is scarcely
+left in his vile body.
+
+"'Now Lucy,' says I, in conclusion, 'don't you see the confounded
+absurdity of ever wasting a thought on a broken-down, bandy-legged,
+beggarly dragoon? Just look at him, with an old taffeta whigmaleerie
+tied to his back, like Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind!
+Isn't he a pretty figure, now, to go a-courting? You would never forsake
+the like of me--would you now? A spruce, natty little body of a
+creature--to be the trollop of a spindle-shanked veteran, who, besides
+having one foot in the grave, and a nose fit for three, might be your
+great-grandfather?'
+
+"It was a sight, sir, that would have melted the heart of a
+wheel-barrow. Before the whole assembled exhibition-room, Lucy first
+looked blue, and then blushed consent. 'Toby,' said she, 'don't mention
+it, Toby, dear,--I am thine for ever and a day!' Angelic sounds, which
+at once sent Bottlenose to Coventry. His chance was now weak indeed,
+quite like Grantham gruel, three groats to a gallon of water. In an
+ecstacy of passion, sir, I threw my silk handkerchief on the floor, and,
+kneeling on it with one knee, I raised her gloveless fingers to my lips!
+
+"The whole company clapped their hands, and laughed so heartily in
+sympathy with my good luck! Oh! sir, had you but seen it--what a sight
+for sore eyes that was!"
+
+"Then you would indeed be the happy man at last, Mr. Tims," said I. "Did
+you elope on the instant?"
+
+"Just done, please your honour.--Next morning, according to special
+agreement, we eloped in a gig; and, writing a penitent letter from the
+Valentine and Orson at Chelsea, Daddy Mainspring found himself glad to
+come to terms. Thrice were the banns published; and such a marriage as
+we had! 'Pon honour, sir, I would you had been present. It was a thing
+to be remembered till the end of one's life. A deputation of the
+honourable the corporation of barbers duly attended, puffed out in full
+fig; and even the old quartermaster, pocketing his disappointment, was,
+at his own special petition, a forgiven and favoured guest. Seldom has
+such dancing been seen within the bounds of London; and, with two
+fiddles, a tambourin, and a clarionet, we made all the roofs ring, till
+an early hour next morning--and that we did."
+
+"You are a lucky fellow, Mr. Tims," said I.
+
+"And more than that, sir. When old Mainspring kicks, we are to have the
+counting of his mouldy coppers--so we have the devil's luck and our own;
+and as for false curls, braids, bandeaux, Macassar oil, cold cream,
+bear's-grease, tooth-powder, and Dutch toys, show me within the walls
+of the City a more respectable, tip-topping perfumery depot and
+wig-warehouse, than that wherein you now sit, and of which I, Tobias
+Tims, am, with due respect, the honoured master, and your humble
+servant!"
+
+_Blackwood's Magazine_.
+
+In addition to the foregoing, (which is one of the happiest pieces
+in Goldsmith's style that we have read for a long time,) there is in
+_Blackwood's Magazine_ an article of extraordinary graphic spirit,
+occupying twenty-two pages. But we will attempt to abridge it for our
+columns, as well as to give a sprinkling from the _Noctes_ in the
+same number. All are in the best style of their vigorous masters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ELEGY
+
+
+_To the Memory of Miss Emily Kay, (cousin to Miss Ellen Gee, of Kew,)
+who lately died at Ewell, and was buried in Essex_.
+
+D.T. Fabula narratur.
+
+
+  Sad nymphs of UL, U have much to cry for,
+    Sweet MLE K U never more shall C!
+  O SX maids! come hither and VU,
+    With tearful I this M T LEG.
+
+  Without XS she did XL alway--
+    Ah me! it truly vexes 1 2 C
+  How soon so DR a creature may DK,
+    And only leave behind XUVE!
+
+  Whate'er I O to do she did discharge,
+    So that an NME it might NDR:
+  Then Y an SA write? then why N?
+    Or with my briny tears her BR BDU?
+
+  When her Piano-40 she did press,
+    Such heavenly sounds did MN8, that she,
+  Knowing her Q, soon I U 2 confess
+    Her XLNC in an XTC.
+
+  Her hair was soft as silk, not YRE,
+    It gave no Q nor yet 2 P to view:
+  She was not handsome: shall I tell U Y?
+    U R 2 know her I was all SQ.
+
+  L8 she was, and prattling like AJ.
+    O, little MLE! did you 4 C
+  The grave should soon MUU, cold as clay.
+    And U should cease to B an NTT!
+
+  While taking T at Q with LN G,
+    The MT grate she rose to put a(:)
+  Her clothes caught fire--I ne'er again shall C
+    Poor MLE, who now is dead as Solon.
+
+  O, LN G! in vain you set at 0
+    GR and reproach for suffering her 2 B
+  Thus sacrificed: to JL U should be brought
+    And burnt U 0 2 B in FEG.
+
+  Sweet MLE K into SX they bore,
+    Taking good care her monument to Y 10,
+  And as her tomb was much 2 low B 4,
+    They lately brought fresh bricks the walls to I 10.
+
+_New Monthly Mag_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+Notes of a Reader.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A NEW CYCLOPAEDIA.
+
+
+A "Cabinet Cyclopaedia" is announced for publication, under the
+superintendance of Dr. Lardner. It is to consist of a series of
+"Cabinets" of the several sciences, &c. and upwards of 100 volumes, to
+be published monthly, are already announced in the prospectus; or nine
+years publishing. The design is not altogether new, it being from
+the _Encyclopaedie Methodique_, a series of dictionaries, now
+publishing in Paris; and about four years since a similar work was
+commenced in England, but only three volumes or dictionaries of
+the series were published. If this be the flimsy age, the "Cabinet
+Cyclopaedia" is certainly not one of the flimsiest of its projects;
+and for the credit of the age, we wish the undertaking all success.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+"A GENTLEMAN"
+
+
+Is a term very vaguely applied, and indistinctly understood. There
+are Gentlemen by birth, Gentlemen by education, Gentlemen's Gentlemen,
+Gentlemen of the Press, Gentlemen Pensioners, Gentlemen, whom nobody
+thinks it worth while to call otherwise; _Honourable_ Gentlemen,
+Walking Gentlemen of strolling companies, Light-fingered Gentlemen,
+&c. &c. very respectable Gentlemen, and God Almighty's
+Gentlemen.--_Blackwood's Magazine_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ROMAN THEATRES.
+
+
+There are five theatres at Rome to a population very nearly as
+considerable as that of Dublin. Each of these establishments is the
+property of one of the noble families in the city, who prefer doing by
+themselves what is usually done in England by committee.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+CATS AND FELINE ANIMALS (_once more!_)
+
+
+Animals of the cat kind are, in a state of nature almost continually in
+action both by night and by day. They either walk, creep, or advance
+rapidly by prodigious bounds; but they seldom _run_, owing, it
+is believed, to the extreme flexibility of their limbs and vertebral
+column, which cannot preserve the rigidity necessary to that species of
+movement. Their sense of sight, especially during twilight, is acute;
+their hearing very perfect, and their perception of smell less so than
+in the dog tribe. Their most obtuse sense is that of taste; the lingual
+nerve in the lion, according to Des Moulins, being no larger than that
+of a middle-sized dog. In fact, the tongue of these animals is as
+much an organ of mastication as of taste; its sharp and horny points,
+inclined backwards, being used for tearing away the softer parts of the
+animal substances on which they prey. The perception of touch is said
+to reside very delicately in the small bulbs at the base of the
+mustachios.--_Wilson's Zoology_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+TEA AND TAY.
+
+_From Blackwood's last "Noctes."_
+
+
+_North_. As you love me, my dear James, call it not tea, but
+_tay_. That though obsolete, is the classical pronunciation. Thus
+Pope sings in the _Rape of the Lock_, canto i.
+
+  "Soft yielding minds to water glide away,
+  And sip with nymphs their elemental tea."
+
+
+And also in canto iii--
+
+  "Where thou great Anna, whom these realms obey,
+  Dost sometimes counsel take, and sometimes tea."
+
+
+And finally in the Basset Table--
+
+  "Tell, tell your grief, attentive will I stay,
+  Though time is precious, and I want some tea."
+
+
+_Shepherd_. A body might think frae thae rhymes, that Pop had been
+an Eerishman.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+"MERRY ENGLAND."
+
+
+The people of England, we fear, have at last forfeited the proud title
+of "merry," to distinguish them from other and less happy, because more
+serious, nations; for now they sadden at amusement, and sicken and turn
+pale at a jest; so entirely have they forfeited it, that an ingenious
+critic cannot believe they ever possessed it; and has set himself
+accordingly to prove, that, in the old English, _merrie_ does not
+mean merry, but sorrowful, or heart-broken, or some such
+thing.--_Edin. Rev._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+SYMPATHY.
+
+
+  There is a tear, more sweet and soft
+    Than beauty's smiling lip of love;
+  By angel's eyes first wept and oft
+    On earth by eyes like those above:
+  It flows for virtue in distress.
+    It soothes, like hope, our sufferings here;
+  'Twas given, and it is shed, to bless--
+    'Tis sympathy's celestial tear.
+
+_Amulet._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+MR. ABERNETHY
+
+
+Was one day descanting upon the advantages of a public education for
+boys, when he concluded by saying, "And what think you of Eton? I think
+I shall send my son there to learn manners." "It would have been as
+well, my dear," responded his wife, "had you gone there too."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ENGLISH BENEVOLENCE.
+
+
+For several years previous to 1823, the crops in Ireland had been
+scanty, particularly those of potatoes. In 1821 the potato crop was _a
+complete failure_; and in 1822 it is impossible to tell, and dreadful
+to think, of what might have been the consequence, had not the English
+people come forward, and by the most stupendous act of national
+generosity which the world ever saw, and which none but a country so
+rich as England could afford, arrested "the plague of hunger," which
+must otherwise have desolated the country.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+PAINTING IN FRESCO.
+
+
+The revival of this beautiful art is strongly recommended by a writer
+in the _Edinburgh Review_, for the internal decoration of private
+residences. "As we have begun to build houses upon a handsome scale in
+London, the lovers of art may venture to hope, that instead of spending
+enormous sums solely on the upholsterer for his fading ornaments,
+something may now be spared to the artist, for conferring on the walls
+unfading decorations of a far more delightful and intellectual kind. If
+the work be well executed, it will not suffer injury from being washed
+with clean and cold water." The reviewer then goes on to suggest "small
+foundations, like the fellowships at our universities. The fellow, a
+young artist of promise, might spend two or three years in painting the
+interior of a church, or other public building, maintaining himself
+meanwhile on his fellowship, or two or three hundred pounds a year."
+"If, however, the objections to painting our churches be deemed
+insuperable, we have buildings designed for civil purposes in abundance,
+which are well adapted for this species of decoration." He then
+instances Westminster Hall, the walls of which might be covered with
+fresco; and the outsides of houses in many German cities and towns in
+the German cantons of Switzerland, the outsides of which are painted
+with scriptural and historical subjects. "Painting," observes he, "were
+the use of it universal, would be a powerful means of instruction to
+children and the lower orders; and were all the fine surfaces, which are
+now plain and absolutely wasted, enriched with the labours of the art,
+if they once began to appear, they would accumulate rapidly; and were
+the ornamented edifices open to all, as freely as they ought to be, a
+wide field of new and agreeable study would offer itself."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+PHILANTHROPY.
+
+
+  Hast thou power? the weak defend,
+  Light?--give light: thy knowledge lend.
+  Rich?--remember Him who gave.
+  Free?--be brother to the slave.
+
+_Amulet._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+LITERARY CLUBS.
+
+
+O what curses, not loud, but deep, has not old Simpkin, of the Crown
+and Anchor, in his day, and Willis and Kay in later times, groaned at
+the knot of authors who were occupying one of his best dining-rooms
+up-stairs, and leaving the Port, and claret, and Madeira to a death-like
+repose in the cellar, though the waiter had repeatedly popped his head
+into the apartment with an admonitory "Did you ring, gentlemen?" to
+awaken them to a becoming sense of the social duties of man.--_New
+Monthly Mag_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ALLIGATORS SWALLOWING STONES.
+
+
+The Indians on the banks of the Oronoko assert, that previously to an
+alligator going in search of prey, it always swallows a large stone,
+that it may acquire additional weight to aid it in diving and dragging
+its victims under water. A traveller being somewhat incredulous on this
+point, Bolivar, to convince him, shot several with his rifle, and in all
+of them were found stones, varying in weight according to the size of
+the animal. The largest killed was about 17 feet in length, and had
+within him a stone weighing about 60 or 70 pounds.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+CRICKET.
+
+
+Miss Mitford, in one of her charming sketches, tells us of a
+cricket-ball being thrown five hundred yards. This is what the people
+who write for Drury-lane and Covent-garden would call "pitching it
+pretty strong."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ADVANTAGES OF CHEAP BOOKS.
+
+
+When Goldsmith boasted of having seen a splendid copy of his poems in
+the cabinet of some great lord, saying emphatically, "This is fame, Dr.
+Johnson," the doctor told him that, for his part, he would have been
+more disposed to self-gratulation had he discovered any of the progeny
+of his mind thumbed and tattered in the cabin of a peasant.--_Q.
+Rev._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+REMEMBRANCE.
+
+
+  I recollect my happy home,
+    My pleasures as a child;
+  The forest where I used to roam,
+    The rocks so bleak and wild.
+  That home is tenantless; the spot
+    It graced is rude and bare;
+  The lov'd ones gone, our name forgot.
+    And desolation there.
+
+_Forget Me Not_--1829.
+
+In how many thousand hearts will this lament find an echo!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+The Gatherer
+
+
+  A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.
+
+SHAKSPEARE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+QUID PRO QUO.
+
+
+A canon of the cathedral of Seville, who was very affected in his dress,
+and particular in his shoes, could not in the whole city find a workman
+to his liking. An unfortunate shoemaker to whom he applied, after
+quitting many others, having brought him a pair of shoes which did not
+please his taste, the canon became furious, and seizing one of the tools
+of the shoemaker, gave him with it so many blows on the head, that the
+poor shoemaker fell dead on the floor. The unhappy man left a widow,
+four daughters, and a son fourteen years of age, the eldest of the
+indigent family. They made their complaints to the chapter; the canon
+was prosecuted, and condemned _not to appear in the choir for a
+year_.
+
+The young shoemaker, having attained to man's estate, was scarcely able
+to get a livelihood; and overwhelmed with wretchedness, sat down on the
+day of a procession at the door of the cathedral of Seville, in the
+moment the procession passed by. Among the other canons he perceived the
+murderer of his father. At the sight of this man, filial affection,
+rage, and despair got so far the better of his reason, that he fell
+furiously on the priest, and stabbed him to the heart. The young man was
+seized, convicted of the crime, and immediately condemned to be
+quartered alive. Peter, whom we call the cruel, and whom the Spaniards,
+with more reason, call the lover of justice, was then at Seville. The
+affair came to his knowledge, and after learning the particulars, he
+determined to be himself the judge of the young shoemaker. When he
+proceeded to give judgment, he first annulled the sentence just
+pronounced by the clergy; and after asking the young man what profession
+he was, "_I forbid you_," said he, "_to make shoes for a year to
+come._"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+When Demetrius conquered the city of Magara, and every thing had been
+plundered by his soldiers, he ordered the philosopher Stilpon to be
+called before him, and asked him whether he had not lost his property in
+this confusion? "No," replied Stilpon, "as all I possess is in my head."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+LORD MAYOR'S DAY.
+
+
+A country gentleman, much averse to city revelry, made the following
+couplet:
+
+  Music hath charms to sooth the savage beast,
+  And therefore proper at a city feast.
+
+
+A city gentleman, who had laid up a store of wealth, replied:--
+
+  The chink of gold with gold, transporting sound!
+    Exceeds the Timbrel, or the Syren's voice
+  Harmonious, when collective plates go round,
+    And Hock and Turtle make the heart rejoice.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+An inveterate sportsman, hearing early his favourite cry of beagles from
+the wood, exclaimed:--
+
+  Hark, friend, what heavenly music meets the ear;
+  Haste, farmer, we shall lose it all, I fear.
+
+
+The rustic, who dreads hounds over his new-sown wheat, replies:--
+
+  Music! I cannot hear it for the noise
+  Of those curs'd dogs, loud shouts, and bellowing boys.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Antigonus, being in his tent, heard two soldiers, who were standing
+outside, speak very disrespectfully of him. After he had listened some
+time, he opened the tent and said to them, "If you wish to speak thus of
+me, you might at least go a little aside."--_Sulzer._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A supplementary number of the Mirror, containing the "_Spirit of the
+Annuals_," with a fine engraving, will be published with our Number
+on Saturday, November 15."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Purchasers of the Mirror, who may wish to complete their sets are
+informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and may be purchased
+separately. The whole of the numbers are now in print, and can be
+procured by giving an order to any Bookseller or Newsvender.
+
+Complete sets Vol I. to XI. in boards, price £2. 19s. 6d. half bound,
+£3. 17s.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
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+
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+
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+  PLUTARCH'S LIVES, with Fifty Portraits, 2 vols. price 13s. boards.
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+
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+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement,
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@@ -0,0 +1,2667 @@
+<!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN"
+    "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
+<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml">
+  <head>
+    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type"
+    content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" />
+    <title>
+      The Mirror of Literature, Issue 339.
+    </title>
+    <style type="text/css">
+    /*<![CDATA[*/
+    <!--
+    body                 {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;}
+    p                    {text-align: justify;}
+    blockquote           {text-align: justify;}
+    h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6    {text-align: center;}
+    pre                  {font-size: 0.7em;}
+
+    hr                   {text-align: center; width: 50%;}
+    html>body hr         {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;}
+    hr.full              {width: 100%;}
+    html>body hr.full    {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;}
+
+    .note, .footnote     {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;}
+
+    span.pagenum         {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt;}
+
+    .poem                {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;}
+    .poem .stanza        {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;}
+    .poem p              {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;}
+    .poem p.i2           {margin-left: 1em;}
+
+    .figure              {padding: 1em; margin: 0; text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em; margin: auto;}
+    .figure img          {border: none;}
+    .figure p
+    -->
+    /*]]>*/
+    </style>
+  </head>
+  <body>
+
+
+<pre>
+
+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, by Various
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction
+       Volume 12, No. 339, Saturday, November 8, 1828.
+
+Author: Various
+
+Release Date: February 26, 2004 [EBook #11312]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIRROR OF LITERATURE, NO. 339 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Keith M. Eckrich, David Garcia, and the
+Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+
+</pre>
+
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <span class="pagenum"><a id="page289" name="page289"></a>[pg
+    289]</span>
+    <h1>
+      THE MIRROR<br />
+       OF<br />
+       LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+    </h1>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <table width="100%" summary="Banner">
+      <tr>
+        <td align="left">
+          <b>VOL. XII, NO. 339.</b>
+        </td>
+        <td align="center">
+          <b>SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1828.</b>
+        </td>
+        <td align="right">
+          <b>[PRICE 2d.</b>
+        </td>
+      </tr>
+    </table>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      Great Milton.
+    </h2>
+    <div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
+      <a href="images/339-1.png"><img width="100%"
+      src="images/339-1.png" alt="Great Milton." /></a>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Great Milton, a picturesque village, near Thame, in
+      Oxfordshire, is entitled to notice in the annals of
+      literature, as the family seat of the MILTONS, ancestors of
+      Britain's illustrious epic poet. Of this original abode, our
+      engraving is an accurate representation. One of Milton's
+      ancestors forfeited his estate in the turbulent times of York
+      and Lancaster. "Which side he took," says Johnson, "I know
+      not; his descendant inherited no veneration for the White
+      Rose." His grandfather was under ranger of the forest of
+      Shotover, Oxon, who was a zealous Papist, and disinherited
+      his son for becoming a Protestant. Milton's father being thus
+      deprived of his family property, was compelled to quit his
+      studies at Christ Church, Oxford, whence he went to London,
+      and became a scrivener. He was eminent for his skill in
+      music;<a id="footnotetag1"
+      name="footnotetag1"></a><a href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a>
+      and from his reputation in his profession, he grew rich, and
+      retired. He was likewise a classical scholar, as his son
+      addresses him in one of his most elaborate Latin verses. He
+      married a lady of the name of Caston, of a Welsh family, by
+      whom he had two sons, John, THE POET,<a id="footnotetag2"
+      name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a>
+      and Christopher, who studied the law, became a bencher of the
+      Inner Temple, was knighted at a very advanced age, and raised
+      by James II. first to be a Baron of the Exchequer, and
+      afterwards one of the Judges of the Common Pleas. He was much
+      persecuted by the republicans for his adherence to the royal
+      cause, but his composition with them was effected by his
+      brother's interest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Besides these two sons, he had a daughter, Anne, who was
+      married to a Mr. Edward Philips, of Shrewsbury; by him she
+      had two sons, John and Edward, who were educated by the poet,
+      and from whom is derived the only authentic account of his
+      domestic manners.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      MILTON was thus by birth a gentleman; but had his descent
+      been otherwise, his works would ennoble him to posterity.
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          The lord, by giddy fortune courted,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Stalks through a part by thousands played;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The minstrel, proud and unsupported,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Stands forth the Noble God has made<a id="footnotetag3"
+          name="footnotetag3"></a><a href="#footnote1"><sup>3</sup></a>
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      We sought our illustration of GREAT MILTON in the
+      "Oxfordshire" of that voluminous and expensive work, "the
+      Beauties of England and Wales;" but, strange to say, the
+      family name of Milton is not even mentioned there, although
+      the house is still
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          By chance or Nature's changing course untrimm'd.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page290" name="page290"></a>[pg
+      290]</span> The editor, however, tells us, on the authority
+      of Leland, that there was at Great Milton a priory "many
+      yeres syns;" and quotes the following quaint lines from a
+      tablet in the church:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        Here lye mother and babe, both without sins, Next birth
+        will make her and her infant, twins.
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ANCIENT FEASTINGS IN GUILDHALL, &amp;c.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The first time that Guildhall was used on festive occasions
+      was by Sir John Shaw Goldsmith, knighted in the field of
+      Bosworth. After building the essentials of good kitchens, and
+      other offices, in the year 1500, he gave here the mayor's
+      feast, which before had usually been done in Grocers' Hall.
+      None of these bills of fare (says Pennant) have reached me;
+      but doubtless they were very magnificent. They at length grew
+      to such excess, that in the time of Queen Mary a sumptuary
+      law was made to restrain the expense both of provisions and
+      <i>liveries</i>; but I suspect, (says Pennant,) as it
+      lessened the honour of the city, it was not long observed,
+      for in 1554, the city thought proper to renew the order of
+      council, by way of reminding their fellow citizens of their
+      relapse into luxury. Among the great feasts given here on
+      public occasions, may be reckoned that given in 1612, on
+      occasion of the unhappy marriage of the Prince Palatine with
+      Elizabeth, daughter of James I. The next was in 1641, when
+      Charles I. returned from his imprudent and inefficacious
+      journey into Scotland. But our ancestors far surpassed these
+      feasts. Richard, Earl of Cornwall, brother to Henry III. had,
+      at his marriage feast, (as is recorded,) 30,000 dishes of
+      meat. Nevil, archbishop of York, had, at his consecration, a
+      feast sufficient for 10,000 people. One of the abbots of St.
+      Augustine, at Canterbury, invited 5,000 guests to his
+      installation dinner. And King Richard II., at a Christmas
+      feast, had daily 26 oxen, 300 sheep, besides fowls, and all
+      other provisions proportionably. So anciently, at a call of
+      sergeants-at-law, each sergeant (says Fortescue) spent 1,600
+      crowns in feasting.
+    </p>
+    <h4>
+      P.T.W.
+    </h4>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      MAXIMS TO LIVE BY.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To have too much forethought is the part of a wretch; to have
+      too little is the part of a fool.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Self-will is so ardent and active that it will break a world
+      to pieces to make a stool to sit on.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Remember always to mix good sense with good things, or they
+      will become disgusting.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If there is any person to whom you feel a dislike, that is
+      the person of whom you ought never to speak.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Irritability urges us to take a step as much too soon, as
+      sloth does too late.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Say the strongest things you can with candour and kindness to
+      a man's face, and make the best excuse you can for him with
+      truth and justice, behind his back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Men are to be estimated, as Johnson says, by the mass of
+      character. A block of tin may have a grain of silver, but
+      still it is tin; and a block of silver may have an alloy of
+      tin; but still it is silver. Some men's characters are
+      excellent, yet not without alloy. Others base, yet tend to
+      great ends. Bad men are made the same use of as scaffolds;
+      they are employed as means to erect a building, and then are
+      taken down and destroyed.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      If a man has a quarrelsome temper, let him alone; the world
+      will soon find him employment. He will soon meet with some
+      one stronger than himself, who will repay him better than you
+      can. A man may fight duels all his life if he is disposed to
+      quarrel.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A person who objects to tell a friend of his faults, because
+      he has faults of his own, acts as a surgeon would, who should
+      refuse to dress another's wound because he had a dangerous
+      one himself.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Some evils are irremediable, they are best neither seen nor
+      heard; by seeing and hearing things that you cannot remove,
+      you will create implacable adversaries; who being guilty
+      aggressors, never forgive.
+    </p>
+    <h4>
+      W.J.
+    </h4>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      Manners &amp; Customs of all Nations.
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      CUSTOMS RELATING TO THE BEARD.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It was a custom among the Romans to consecrate the first
+      growth of their beard to some god; thus Nero at the Gynick
+      games, which he exhibited in the Septa, cut off the first
+      growth of his beard, which he placed in a golden box, adorned
+      with pearls, and then consecrated it in the Capitol to
+      Jupiter.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The nations in the east used mostly to nourish their beards
+      with great care and veneration, and it was a punishment among
+      them, for licentiousness and adultery, to have the beard of
+      the offending parties publicly cut off. Such a sacred regard
+      had they for the preservation
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page291" name="page291"></a>[pg
+      291]</span> of their beards, that if a man pledged it for the
+      payment of a debt, he would not fail to pay it. Among the
+      Romans a bearded man was a proverbial expression for a man of
+      virtue and simplicity. The Romans during grief and mourning
+      used to let their hair and beard grow, (Livy) while the
+      Greeks on the contrary used to cut off their hair and shave
+      their beards on such occasions.<a id="footnotetag4"
+      name="footnotetag4"></a><a href="#footnote4"><sup>4</sup></a>(Seneca.)
+      When Alexander the Great was going to fight against the
+      Persians, one of his officers brought him word that all was
+      ready for battle, and demanded if he required anything
+      further. On which Alexander replied, "nothing but that the
+      Macedonians cut off their beards&mdash;for there is not a
+      better handle to take a man by than the beard." This shows
+      Alexander intended close fighting. Shaving was not introduced
+      among the Romans till late. Pliny tells us that P. Ticinias
+      was the first who brought a barber to Rome, which was in the
+      454th year from the building of the city. Scipio Africanus
+      was the first among the Romans who shaved his beard, and
+      Adrianus the emperor (says Dion,) was the first of all the
+      Caesars who nourished his beard.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Roman servants or slaves were not allowed to poll their
+      hair, or shave their beards. The Jews thought it ignominious
+      to lose their beards, 2 Sam. c. x. v. 4. Among the Catti, a
+      nation of Germany, a young man was not allowed to shave or
+      cut his hair till he had slain an enemy. (Tacitus.) The
+      Lombards or Longobards, derived their Fame from the great
+      length of their beards. When Otho the Great used to speak
+      anything serious, he swore by his beard, which covered his
+      breast. The Persians are fond of long beards. We read in
+      Olearius' Travels of a king of Persia who had commanded his
+      steward's head to be cut off, and on its being brought to
+      him, he remarked, "what a pity it was, that a man possessing
+      such fine mustachios, should have been executed," but added
+      he, "Ah! it was your own fault." The Normans considered the
+      beard as an indication of distress and misery. The Ancient
+      Britons used always to wear the hair on the upper lip, and so
+      strongly were they attached to this custom, that when William
+      the Conqueror ordered them to shave their upper lip, it was
+      so repugnant to their feelings, that many of them chose
+      rather to abandon their country than resign their mustachios.
+      In the 15th century, the beard was worn long. In the 16th, it
+      was suffered to grow to an amazing length, (see the portraits
+      of Bishop Gardiner, and Cardinal Pole, during Queen Mary's
+      reign,) and very often made use of as a tooth-pick case.
+      Brantome tells us that Admiral Coligny wore his tooth-pick in
+      his beard.
+    </p>
+    <h4>
+      C.B.Z.
+    </h4>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      SINGULAR CUSTOM AT ROUEN.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      (<i>For the Mirror</i>.)
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The chapter of Rouen, (which consists of the archbishop, a
+      dean, fifty canons, and ten prebendaries,) have, ever since
+      the year 1156, enjoyed the annual privilege of pardoning, on
+      Ascension-day, some individual confined within the
+      jurisdiction of the city for murder.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On the morning of Ascension-day, the chapter, having heard
+      many examinations and confessions read, proceed to the
+      election of the criminal who is to be pardoned; and, the
+      choice being made, his name is transmitted in writing to the
+      parliament, which assemble on that day at the palace. The
+      parliament then walk in procession to the great chamber,
+      where the prisoner is brought before them in irons, and
+      placed on a stool; he is informed that the choice has fallen
+      upon him, and that he is entitled to the privilege of St.
+      Romain. After this form, he is delivered into the hands of
+      the chaplain, who, accompanied by fifty armed men, conveys
+      him to a chamber, where the chains are taken from his legs
+      and bound about his arms; and in this condition he is
+      conducted to a place named the Old Tower, where he awaits the
+      coming of the procession. After some little time has elapsed,
+      the procession sets out from the cathedral; two of the canons
+      bear the shrine in which the relics of St. Romain are
+      presumed to be preserved. When they have arrived at the Old
+      Tower, the shrine is placed in the chapel, opposite to the
+      criminal, who appears kneeling, with the chains on his arms.
+      Then one of the canons, having made him repeat the
+      confession, says the prayers usual at the time of giving
+      absolution; after which service, the prisoner kneeling still,
+      lifts up the shrine three times, amid the acclamations of the
+      people assembled to behold the ceremony. The procession then
+      returns to the cathedral, followed by the criminal, wearing a
+      chaplet of flowers on his head, and carrying the shrine of
+      the saint. After mass has been performed, he has a very
+      serious exhortation addressed to him by a monk; and, lastly,
+      he is conducted to an apartment near the cathedral, and is
+      supplied with refreshments
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page292" name="page292"></a>[pg
+      292]</span> and a bed for that night. In the morning he is
+      dismissed.
+    </p>
+    <h4>
+      G.W.N.
+    </h4>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE SKETCH-BOOK
+    </h3>
+    <hr />
+    <center>
+      ABBOTSFORD,
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      <i>And Sir Walter Scott's Study</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      [The following extracts are from the private letter of a
+      distinguished American gentleman, and form part of one of the
+      most striking articles in "The Anniversary for 1829," edited
+      by Allan Cunningham. We intended the whole article for our
+      Supplementary "Spirit of the Annuals;" but as our engraving
+      will necessarily occupy a few days longer, during which time
+      this description of <i>Abbotsford</i> will be printed in
+      fifty different forms, we are induced to take it by the
+      forelock, and appropriate it for our present number. It is,
+      perhaps, one of the most, if not the most, graphic paper in
+      the whole list of "Annuals," notwithstanding there are scores
+      of brilliant gems left for our Supplement. Certain arts must
+      have their own pace; but, in our arduous catering for
+      novelties for the MIRROR, we often have occasion to wish that
+      <i>block-machinery</i> could be applied to engraving on
+      wood.]
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Stepping westward," as Wordsworth says, from the hall, you
+      find yourself in a narrow, low, arched room, which runs quite
+      across the house, having a blazoned window again at either
+      extremity, and filled all over with smaller pieces of armour
+      and weapons, such as swords, firelocks, spears, arrows,
+      darts, daggers, &amp;c. &amp;c. &amp;c. Here are the pieces,
+      esteemed most precious by reason of their histories
+      respectively. I saw, among the rest, Rob Roy's gun, with his
+      initials, R.M.C. i.e. Robert Macgregor Campbell, round the
+      touch-hole; the blunderbuss of Hofer, a present to Sir Walter
+      from his friend Sir Humphrey Davy; a most magnificent sword,
+      as magnificently mounted, the gift of Charles the First to
+      the great Montrose, and having the arms of Prince Henry
+      worked on the hilt; the hunting bottle of bonnie King Jamie;
+      Bonaparte's pistols (found in his carriage at Waterloo, I
+      believe), <i>cum multis aliis</i>. I should have mentioned
+      that stag-horns and bulls' horns (the petrified relics of the
+      old mountain monster, I mean), and so forth, are suspended in
+      great abundance above all the doorways of these armories; and
+      that, in one corner, a dark one as it ought to be, there is a
+      complete assortment of the old Scottish instruments of
+      torture, not forgetting the very thumbikins under which
+      Cardinal Carstairs did <i>not</i> flinch, and the more
+      terrific iron crown of Wisheart the Martyr, being a sort of
+      barred headpiece, screwed on the victim at the stake, to
+      prevent him from crying aloud in his agony.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      Beyond the smaller, or rather I should say, the narrower
+      armoury, lies the dining parlour proper, however; and though
+      there is nothing Udolphoish here, yet I can well believe that
+      when lighted up and the curtains drawn at night, the place
+      may give no bad notion of the private snuggery of some lofty
+      lord abbot of the time of the Canterbury Tales. The room is a
+      very handsome one, with a low and very richly carved roof of
+      dark oak again; a huge projecting bow window, and the dais
+      elevated <i>more majorum</i>; the ornaments of the roof,
+      niches for lamps, &amp;c. &amp;c. in short, all the minor
+      details, are, I believe, fac similes after Melrose. The walls
+      are hung in crimson, but almost entirely covered with
+      pictures, of which the most remarkable are&mdash;the
+      parliamentary general, Lord Essex, a full length on
+      horseback; the Duke of Monmouth, by Lely; a capital Hogarth,
+      by himself; Prior and Gay, both by Jervas; and the head of
+      Mary Queen of Scots, in a charger, painted by Amias Canrod,
+      the day after the decapitation at Fotheringay, and sent some
+      years ago as a present to Sir Walter from a Prussian
+      nobleman, in whose family it had been for more than two
+      centuries. It is a most deathlike performance, and the
+      countenance answers well enough to the coins of the
+      unfortunate beauty, though not at all to any of the portraits
+      I have happened to see. I believe there is no doubt as to the
+      authenticity of this most curious picture. Among various
+      family pictures, I noticed particularly Sir Walter's great
+      grandfather, the old cavalier mentioned in one of the
+      epistles in Marmion, who let his beard grow after the
+      execution of Charles I., and who here appears, accordingly,
+      with a most venerable appendage of silver whiteness, reaching
+      even unto his girdle.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      A narrower passage leads to a charming breakfast room, which
+      looks to the Tweed on one side, and towards Yarrow and
+      Ettricke, famed in song, on the other: a cheerful room,
+      fitted up with novels, romances, and poetry, I could
+      perceive, at one end; and the other walls covered thick and
+      thicker with a most valuable and beautiful collection of
+      watercolour drawings, chiefly by Turner and Thomson of
+      Duddingstone, the designs, in short, for the magnificent work
+      entitled "Provincial Antiquities of Scotland." There is one
+      very grand oil painting over
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page293" name="page293"></a>[pg
+      293]</span> the chimney-piece, Fastcastle, by Thomson, alias
+      the Wolf's Crag of the Bride of Lammermoor, one of the most
+      majestic and melancholy sea-pieces I ever saw; and some large
+      black and white drawings of the Vision of Don Roderick, by
+      Sir James Steuart of Allanbank (whose illustrations of
+      Marmion and Mazeppa you have seen or heard of), are at one
+      end of the parlour. The room is crammed with queer cabinets
+      and boxes, and in a niche there is a bust of old Henry
+      Mackenzie, by Joseph of Edinburgh. Returning towards the
+      armoury, you have, on one side of a most religious looking
+      corridor, a small greenhouse, with a fountain playing before
+      it&mdash;the very fountain that in days of yore graced the
+      cross of Edinburgh, and used to flow with claret at the
+      coronation of the Stuarts&mdash;a pretty design, and a
+      standing monument of the barbarity of modern innovation. From
+      the small armoury you pass, as I said before, into the
+      drawing-room, a large, lofty, and splendid <i>salon</i>, with
+      antique ebony furniture and crimson silk hangings, cabinets,
+      china, and mirrors <i>quantum suff</i>, and some portraits;
+      among the rest glorious John Dryden, by Sir Peter Lely, with
+      his gray hairs floating about in a most picturesque style,
+      eyes full of wildness, presenting the old Bard, I take it, in
+      one of those "tremulous moods," in which we have it on record
+      he appeared when interrupted in the midst of his Alexander's
+      Feast. From this you pass into the largest of all the
+      apartments, the library, which, I must say, is really a noble
+      room. It is an oblong of some fifty feet by thirty, with a
+      projection in the centre, opposite the fireplace, terminating
+      in a grand bow window, fitted up with books also, and, in
+      fact, constituting a sort of chapel to the church. The roof
+      is of carved oak again&mdash;a very rich pattern&mdash;I
+      believe chiefly <i>a la</i> Roslin, and the bookcases, which
+      are also of richly carved oak, reach high up the walls all
+      round. The collection amounts, in this room, to some fifteen
+      or twenty thousand volumes, arranged according to their
+      subjects: British history and antiquities, filling the whole
+      of the chief wall; English poetry and drama, classics and
+      miscellanies, one end: foreign literature, chiefly French and
+      German, the other. The cases on the side opposite the fire
+      are wired and locked, as containing articles very precious
+      and very portable. One consists entirely of books and MSS.
+      relating to the insurrections of 1715 and 1745; and another
+      (within the recess of the bow window), of treatises <i>de re
+      magica</i>, both of these being (I am told, and can well
+      believe), in their several ways, collections of the rarest
+      curiosity. My cicerone pointed out, in one corner, a
+      magnificent set of Mountfaucon, ten volumes folio, bound in
+      the richest manner in scarlet, and stamped with the royal
+      arms, the gift of his present majesty. There are few living
+      authors of whose works presentation copies are not to be
+      found here. My friend showed me inscriptions of that sort in,
+      I believe, every European dialect extant. The books are all
+      in prime condition, and bindings that would satisfy Mr.
+      Dibdin. The only picture is Sir Walter's eldest son, in
+      hussar uniform, and holding his horse, by Allan of Edinburgh,
+      a noble portrait, over the fireplace; and the only bust is
+      that of Shakspeare, from the Avon monument, in a small niche
+      in the centre of the east side. On a rich stand of porphyry,
+      in one corner, reposes a tall silver urn, filled with bones
+      from the Piraeus, and bearing the inscription, "Given by
+      George Gordon, Lord Byron, to Sir Walter Scott, Bart." It
+      <i>contained</i> the letter which accompanied the gift till
+      lately: it has disappeared; no one guesses who took it, but
+      whoever he was, as my guide observed, he must have been a
+      thief for thieving's sake truly, as he durst no more exhibit
+      his autograph than tip himself a bare bodkin. Sad, infamous
+      tourist, indeed! Although I saw abundance of
+      comfortable-looking desks and arm chairs, yet this room
+      seemed rather too large and fine for <i>work</i>, and I found
+      accordingly, after passing a double pair of doors, that there
+      was a <i>sanctum</i> within and beyond this library. And here
+      you may believe, was not to me the least interesting, though
+      by no means the most splendid, part of the suite.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The lion's own den proper, then, is a room of about
+      five-and-twenty feet square by twenty feet high, containing
+      of what is properly called furniture nothing but a small
+      writing-table in the centre, a plain arm-chair covered with
+      black leather&mdash;a very comfortable one though, for I
+      tried it&mdash;and a single chair besides, plain symptoms
+      that this is no place for company. On either side of the
+      fireplace there are shelves filled with duodecimos and books
+      of reference, chiefly, of course, folios; but except these
+      there are no books save the contents of a light gallery which
+      runs round three sides of the room, and is reached by a
+      hanging stair of carved oak in one corner. You have been both
+      at the Elis&eacute;e Bourbon and Malmaison, and remember the
+      library at one or other of those places, I forget which; this
+      gallery is much in the same style. There are only two
+      portraits, an original of the beautiful and melancholy head
+      of Claverhouse, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page294"
+      name="page294"></a>[pg 294]</span> and a small full length of
+      Rob Roy. Various little antique cabinets stand round about,
+      each having a bust on it: Stothard's Canterbury Pilgrims are
+      on the mantelpiece; and in one corner I saw a collection of
+      really useful weapons, those of the forest-craft, to
+      wit&mdash;axes and bills and so forth of every calibre. There
+      is only one window pierced in a very thick wall, so that the
+      place is rather sombre; the light tracery work of the gallery
+      overhead harmonizes with the books well. It is a very
+      comfortable-looking room, and very unlike any other I ever
+      was in. I should not forget some Highland claymores,
+      clustered round a target over the Canterbury people, nor a
+      writing-box of carved wood, lined with crimson velvet, and
+      furnished with silver plate of right venerable aspect, which
+      looked as if it might have been the implement of old Chaucer
+      himself, but which from the arms on the lid must have
+      belonged to some Indian prince of the days of Leo the
+      Magnificent at the furthest.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The view to the Tweed from all the principal apartments is
+      beautiful. You look out from among bowers, over a lawn of
+      sweet turf, upon the clearest of all streams, fringed with
+      the wildest of birch woods, and backed with the green hills
+      of Ettricke Forest. The rest you must imagine. Altogether,
+      the place destined to receive so many pilgrimages contains
+      within itself beauties not unworthy of its associations. Few
+      poets ever inhabited such a place; none, ere now, ever
+      created one. It is the realization of dreams: some Frenchman
+      called it, I hear, "a romance in stone and lime."
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      SPIRIT OF DISCOVERY
+    </h2>
+    <hr />
+    <center>
+      <i>Aerial Voyages of Spiders</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      The number of the a&euml;ronautic spiders occasionally
+      suspended in the atmosphere, says Mr. Murray, I believe to be
+      almost incredible, could we ascertain their amount. I was
+      walking with a friend on the 9th, and noticed that there were
+      four of these insects on his hat, at the moment there were
+      three on my own; and from the rapidity with which they
+      covered its surface with their threads, I cannot doubt that
+      they are chiefly concerned in the production of that tissue
+      which intercepts the dew, and which, illuminated by the
+      morning sun, "glitters with gold, and with rubies and
+      sapphires." Indeed, I have noticed that, when the frequent
+      descent of the a&euml;ronautic spider was determined, a newly
+      rolled turnip field was, in a few hours, overspread by a
+      carpet of their threads. It may be remarked that our little
+      a&euml;ronaut is very greedy of moisture, though abstemious
+      in other respects. Its food is perhaps peculiar, and only
+      found in the superior regions of the sky. Like the rest of
+      its tribe, it is doubtless carnivorous, and may subserve some
+      highly important purpose in the economy of Providence; such,
+      for instance, as the destruction of that truly formidable,
+      though almost microscopically minute insect, the F&ugrave;ria
+      infern&agrave;lis, whose wounds are stated to be mortal. Its
+      existence has been indeed questioned, but by no means
+      disapproved; that, and some others, injurious to man, or to
+      the inferior creation, may be its destined prey, and thus our
+      little a&euml;ronaut, unheeded by the common eye, may
+      subserve an important good.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Mr. Bowman, F.L.S. says, "We arrested several of these little
+      a&euml;ronauts in their flight, and placed them on the brass
+      gnomon of the sundial, and had the gratification to see them
+      prepare for, and recommence, their aerial voyage. Having
+      crawled about for a short time, to reconnoitre, they turned
+      their abdomens from the current of air, and elevated them
+      almost perpendicularly, supporting themselves solely on the
+      claws of their fore legs, at the same instant shooting out
+      four or five, often six or eight, extremely fine webs,
+      several yards long, which waved in the breeze, diverging from
+      each other like a pencil of rays, and strongly reflecting the
+      sunbeams. After the insects had remained stationary in this
+      apparently unnatural position for about half a minute, they
+      sprang off from the stage with considerable agility, and
+      launched themselves into the air. In a few seconds after they
+      were seen sailing majestically along, without any apparent
+      effort, their legs contracted together, and lying perfectly
+      quiet on their backs, suspended from their silken parachutes,
+      and presenting to the lover of nature a far more interesting
+      spectacle than the balloon of the philosopher. One of these
+      natural a&euml;ronauts I followed, which, sailing in the
+      sunbeams, had two distinct and widely diverging fasciculi of
+      webs, and their position in the air was such, that a line
+      uniting them would have been at right angles with the
+      direction of the breeze."&mdash;<i>Mag. Natural History</i>.
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>The Ichneumon Fly</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      There are several species of ichneumon which make thinnings
+      among the caterpillars of the cabbage butterfly. The process
+      of one species is this:&mdash;while the caterpillar is
+      feeding, the ichneumon fly hovers over it, and, with its
+      piercer, perforates the fatty part of the caterpillar's back
+      in many places, and in each deposits
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page295" name="page295"></a>[pg
+      295]</span> an egg, by means of the two parts of the sheath
+      uniting together, and thus forming a tube down which the egg
+      is conveyed into the perforation made by the piercer of the
+      fly. The caterpillar unconscious of what will ensue keeps
+      feeding on, until it changes into a chrysalis; while in that
+      torpid state, the eggs of the ichneumon are hatched, and the
+      interior of the body of the caterpillar serves as food for
+      the caterpillars of the ichneumon fly. When these have fed
+      their accustomed time, and are about to change into the pupa
+      state, they, by an instinct given them, attack the vital part
+      of the caterpillar (a most wonderful economy in nature, that
+      this process should be delayed until they have no more
+      occasion for food.) They then spin themselves minute cases
+      within the body of the caterpillar; and instead of a
+      butterfly coming forth (which, if a female, would have
+      probably laid six hundred eggs, thus producing as many
+      caterpillars, whose food would be the cabbage,) a race of
+      these little ichneumon flies issues forth, ready to perform
+      the task assigned them, of keeping within due limits those
+      fell destroyers of our vegetables.&mdash;<i>Mr.
+      Carpenter&mdash;in Gill's Repository.</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Hawking</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      Professional falconers have been for many years natives of
+      the village of <i>Falconsward</i>, near Bois le Duc, in
+      Holland. A race of them was there born and bred, whence
+      supplies have been drawn for the service of all Europe; but
+      as there has been no sufficient inducement for the young men
+      to follow the employment of their forefathers, numbers are
+      dead or worn out; and there only remains John Pells, now in
+      the service of John Dawson Downes, Esq., of Old Gunton Hill,
+      Suffolk.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The hawks which have been trained for the field, are the
+      slight falcon and the goshawk, which are the species
+      generally used in falconry. The former is called a
+      long-winged hawk, or one of the <i>lure</i>; the latter, a
+      short-winged hawk, or one of the <i>fist</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The Icelander is the largest hawk that is known, and highly
+      esteemed by falconers, especially for its great powers and
+      tractable disposition. The gyr falcon is less than the
+      Icelander, but much larger than the slight falcon. These
+      powerful birds are flown at herons and hares, and are the
+      only hawks that are fully a match for the fork-tailed kite.
+      The merlin and hobby are both small hawks and fit only for
+      small birds, as the blackbird, &amp;c. The sparrow-hawk may
+      be also trained to hunt; his flight is rapid for a short
+      distance, kills partridges well in the early season, and is
+      the best of all for landrails.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The slight falcon takes up his abode every year, from October
+      and November until the spring, upon Westminster Abbey, and
+      other churches in the metropolis. This is well known to the
+      London pigeon-fanciers, from the great havoc they make in
+      their flight.&mdash;<i>Sir John Sebright</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Technicalities of Science</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      The inutility of science, written in a merely technical form,
+      is well exemplified in the instance of Cicero. He was advised
+      by his friends not to write his works on Greek Philosophy in
+      Latin; because those who cared for it would prefer his work
+      in Greek, and those who did not would read neither Greek nor
+      Latin. The splendid success of his <i>De Officiis</i>, his
+      <i>De Finibus</i>, his <i>De Natura Deorum</i>, &amp;c.,
+      showed that his friends were wrong. He persevered in the
+      popular style, and led the fashion.&mdash;<i>Mag. Nat.
+      Hist.</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Doubtful Discoveries</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      It may serve, in some measure, to confirm M. Dutroehet's
+      recent opinion of the non-existence of miscroscopic
+      animalcula, that the celebrated Spallanzani persuaded himself
+      that he could see Anim&aacute;lcula infus&ograve;ria which
+      could be seen by nobody else. He attributed his own
+      superiority of vision, in this respect, to long practice in
+      using the microscope. The philosopher exulted in his enviable
+      distinction, when a peasant, to whom he showed his
+      animalcula, could perceive nothing but muddy
+      water.&mdash;<i>Ibid.</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Faculties of Brutes</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      The dog is the only animal that dreams; and he and the
+      elephant the only animals that understand looks; the elephant
+      is the only animal that, besides man, feels <i>ennui</i>; the
+      dog, the only quadruped that has been brought to speak.
+      Leibnitz bears witness to a hound in Saxony, that could speak
+      distinctly thirty words.&mdash;<i>Medical Gazette.</i>
+    </p>
+    <center>
+      <i>Sea Air</i>.
+    </center>
+    <p>
+      The atmosphere, in the vicinity of the sea, usually contains
+      a portion of the muriates over which it has been wafted. It
+      is a curious fact, but well ascertained, that the air best
+      adapted to vegetables is pernicious to animal life, and
+      <i>vice versa.</i> Now, upon the sea-coast, accordingly,
+      animals thrive, and vegetables decline.&mdash;<i>Hurwood's
+      Southern Coast.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page296" name="page296"></a>[pg
+      296]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      Chingford Church.
+    </h2>
+    <div class="figure" style="width: 100%;">
+      <a href="images/339-8.png"><img width="100%"
+      src="images/339-8.png" alt="Chingford Church." /></a>
+    </div>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          The roof with moss is green, and twines
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Dark ivy round the sculptur'd lines.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      DELTA.
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      The pleasant village of CHINGFORD, in Essex, may be called a
+      vignette of the topographer's "<i>rus in urbe</i>," it being
+      only nine miles distant from the heart of London, and
+      consequently almost within its vortex. It stands on the banks
+      of the river Lea, and derives its name from the Saxon word
+      Cing and <i>ford</i>, (signifying the king's ford,) there
+      having formerly been a ford here; the adjoining meadows being
+      designated the king's meads, and the Lea, the king's stream.
+      There appears to have been two manors in this parish, one of
+      which was granted by Edward the Confessor to the cathedral of
+      St. Paul's, but surrendered at the reformation to Henry
+      VIII.; the other, according to Domesday Book, was held by
+      Orgar, the Thane; and from the latter another manor has since
+      been taken.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The "ivy-mantled" church, represented in the above vignette,
+      is dedicated to St. Peter and St. Paul, and consists of a
+      chancel, nave, and south aisle, with a low square tower at
+      the west end, containing three bells. Within the church are a
+      few interesting monuments, among which is one to the memory
+      of Robert Rampton, who died in 1585 and was yeoman of the
+      chamber to Edward VI., and the Queens Mary and Elizabeth. It
+      stands in the south aisle, with an inscription on a brass
+      plate against the wall, underneath which is an altar tomb
+      covered with a slab of black marble, on which are the
+      effigies, in brass, of Robert Rampton, and his wife Margaret,
+      who died in 1590.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Altogether, Chingford is one of the prettiest villages near
+      London, and its church is a picturesque attraction for
+      pedestrian tourists, and such as love to steal away from the
+      maelstroom of an overgrown metropolis, to glide into scenes
+      of "calm contemplation and poetic ease;" although much of the
+      journey lies through avenues of bricks and mortar, and trim
+      roads that swarm with busy toil.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In the parish of Chingford is an estate called Scots Mayhew,
+      or Brindwoods, which is held of the rector by the following
+      singular tenure:&mdash;"Upon every alienation, the owner of
+      the estate, with his wife, and a man and maid servant, (each
+      upon a horse) come to the parsonage, where the owner does his
+      homage, and pays his relief in manner following:&mdash;He
+      blows three blasts with his horn, carries a hawk on his fist,
+      and his servant has a greyhound in a slip&mdash;both for the
+      use of the rector that day. He receives a chicken for his
+      hawk, a peck of oats for his horse, and a loaf of bread for
+      his greyhound. They all dine, after which the master blows
+      three blasts on his horn, and they all
+      depart."<a id="footnotetag5"
+      name="footnotetag5"></a><a href="#footnote5"><sup>5</sup></a>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      For the original of the engraving, and the substance of this
+      description, our thanks are due to S.I.B.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      OLD SONG.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The old minstrels saw far and deep, and clear into all
+      heart-mysteries&mdash;and, low-born, humble men as they were,
+      their tragic or comic strains strike like
+      electricity.&mdash;<i>Blackwood.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page297" name="page297"></a>[pg
+      297]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      SPIRIT OF THE<br />
+       Public Journals.
+    </h2>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE SHAVING SHOP
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          'Tis not an half hour's work&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          A Cupid and a fiddle, and the thing's done.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      FLETCHER.
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      "Hold back your head, if you please, sir, that I may get this
+      napkin properly fastened&mdash;there now," said Toby Tims,
+      as, securing the pin, he dipped his razor into hot water, and
+      began working up with restless brush the lather of his
+      soapbox.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I dare say you have got a newspaper there," said I; "are you
+      a politician, Mr. Tims?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Oh, just a little bit of one. I get Bell's Messenger at
+      second hand from a neighbour, who has it from his cousin in
+      the Borough, who, I believe, is the last reader of a club of
+      fourteen, who take it among them; and, being last, as I
+      observed, sir, he has the paper to himself into the
+      bargain.&mdash;Please exalt your chin, sir, and keep your
+      head a little to one side&mdash;there, sir," added Toby,
+      cammencing his operations with the brush, and hoarifying my
+      barbal extremity, as the facetious Thomas Hood would probably
+      express it. "Now, sir&mdash;a <i>leetle</i> more round, if
+      you please&mdash;there, sir, there. It is a most entertaining
+      paper, and beats all for news. In fact, it is full of every
+      thing, sir&mdash;every, every
+      thing&mdash;accidents&mdash;charity
+      sermons&mdash;markets&mdash;boxing&mdash;Bible
+      societies&mdash;horse racing&mdash;child murders&mdash;the
+      theatres&mdash;foreign wars&mdash;Bow-street
+      reports&mdash;electioneering&mdash;and Day and Martin's
+      blacking."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Are you a bit of a bruiser, Mr. Tims?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Oh, bless your heart, sir, only a <i>leetle</i>&mdash;a very
+      <i>leetle</i>. A turn-up with the gloves, or so, your honour.
+      I'm but a light weight&mdash;only a light weight&mdash;seven
+      stone and a half, sir; but a rare bit of stuff, though I say
+      it myself, sir&mdash;Begging your pardon. I dare say I have
+      put some of the soap into your mouth. Now, sir,
+      now&mdash;please let me hold your nose, sir."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Scarcely civil, Mr. Toby," said I, "scarcely
+      civil&mdash;Phroo! let me spit out the suds."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I will be done in a moment, sir&mdash;in half a moment.
+      Well, sir, speaking of razors, they should be always properly
+      tempered with hot water, a <i>leetle</i> dip more or less.
+      You see now how it glides over, smooth and smack as your
+      hand.&mdash;Keep still, sir; I might have given you a nick
+      just now. You don't choose a <i>leetle</i> of the mustachy
+      left?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "No, no&mdash;off with it all. No matrimonial news stirring
+      in this quarter just now, Mr. Tims?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Nothing extremely particular.&mdash;Now, sir, you are fit
+      for the king's levee, so far as my department is concerned.
+      But you cannot go out just now, sir&mdash;see how it
+      rains&mdash;a perfect water-spout. Just feel yourself at
+      home, sir, for a <i>leetle</i>, and take a peep around you.
+      That block, sir, has been very much admired&mdash;extremely
+      like the Wenus de Medicine&mdash;capital nose&mdash;and as
+      for the wig department, catch me for that, sir. But of all
+      them there pictures hanging around, yon is the favourite of
+      myself and the connessoors."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Ay, Mr. Tims," said I, "that is truly a gem&mdash;an old
+      lover kneeling at the foot of his young sweetheart, and two
+      fellows in buckram taking a peep at them from among the
+      trees."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Capital, sir&mdash;capital. I'll tell you a rare good story,
+      sir, connected with that picture and my own history, with
+      your honour's leave, sir."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "With all my heart, Mr. Tims&mdash;you are very obliging."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Well then, sir, take that chair, and I will get on like a
+      house on fire; but if you please, don't put me off my clew,
+      sir.&mdash;Concerning that picture and my courtship, the most
+      serious epoch of my life, there is a <i>leetle</i> bit of a
+      story which I would like to be a beacon to others; and if
+      your honour is still a bachelor, and not yet stranded on the
+      shoals of matrimony, it may be <i>Werbum Sapienti</i>, as
+      O'Toole, the Irish schoolmaster, used to observe, when in the
+      act of applying the birch to the booby's back.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Well, sir, having received a grammatical education, and been
+      brought up as a peruke-maker from my earliest
+      years&mdash;besides having seen a deal of high life, and the
+      world in general, in carrying false curls, bandeaux, and
+      other artificial head-gear paraphernalia, in bandboxes to
+      boarding schools, and so on&mdash;a desire naturally sprung
+      up within me, being now in my twenty-first year, and worth a
+      guinea a week of wages, to look about for what old kind
+      Seignor Fiddle-stringo, the minuet-master, used to recommend
+      under the title of a <i>cara sposa</i>&mdash;open
+      shop&mdash;and act head frizzle in an establishment of my
+      own.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Very good, sir&mdash;In the pursuit of this virtuous
+      purpose, I cast a sheep's eye over the broad face of society,
+      and at length, from a number of eligible specimens, I
+      selected three, who, whether considered in the light of
+      natural beauty, or mental accomplishment, struck me forcibly
+      as suitable coadjutors for a man&mdash;for a man like your
+      humble servant."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page298" name="page298"></a>[pg
+      298]</span> "A most royal bow that, Mr. Tims. Well, proceed,
+      if you please."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Very good, sir&mdash;well, then, to proceed. The first of
+      these was Miss Diana Tonkin, a young lady, who kept her
+      brother's snuff-shop, at the sign of the African astride the
+      Tobacco Barrel&mdash;a rare beauty, who was on the most
+      intimate talking terms with half a hundred young bloods and
+      beaux, who looked in during lounging hours, being students of
+      law, physic, and divinity, half-pay ensigns, and theatrical
+      understrappers, to replenish their boxes with Lundyfoot,
+      whiff a Havannah cigar, or masticate pigtail. No wonder that
+      she was spoiled by flattery, Miss Diana, for she was a bit of
+      a beauty; and though she had but one eye&mdash;by heavens,
+      what an eye that was!"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "She must have been an irresistible creature, certainly, Mr.
+      Tims," said I. "Well, how did you come on?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Irresistible! but you shall hear, sir. I foresaw that, in
+      soliciting the honour of the fair damsel's hand, I should
+      have much opposition to encounter from the rivalry of the
+      three learned professions, to say nothing of the gentlemen of
+      the sword and of the buskin; but, thinks I to myself, 'faint
+      heart never won fair lady,' so I at once set up a snuff-box,
+      looked as tip-topping as possible, and commenced canvassing.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The second <i>elite</i> (for I know a <i>leetle</i> French,
+      having for three months, during my apprenticeship, had the
+      honour of frizling the head-gear of Count Witruvius de
+      Caucason, who occupied private state-lodgings at the sign of
+      the Blue Boar in the Poultry, and who afterwards decamped
+      without clearing scores)&mdash;the second <i>elite</i> (for I
+      make a point, sir, of having two strings to my bow) was Mrs.
+      Joan Sweetbread, a person of exquisite parts, but fiery
+      temper, at that time aged thirty-three, twelve stone weight,
+      head cook and housekeeper to Sir Anthony Macturk, a Scotch
+      baronet, who rusticated in the vicinity of town. I made her a
+      few evening visits, and we talked love affairs over muffins
+      and a cup of excellent congou. Then what a variety of jams
+      and jellies! I never returned without a disordered stomach,
+      and wishing Highland heather-honey at the devil. Yet, after
+      all, to prove a hoax!&mdash;for even when I was on the point
+      of popping the question, and had fastened my silk Jem Belcher
+      with a knowing <i>leetle</i> knot to set out for that
+      purpose, I learned from Francie, the stable-boy, that she had
+      the evening before eloped with the coachman, and returned to
+      her post that forenoon metamorphosed into Madam Trot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I first thought, sir, of hanging myself over the first
+      lamp-post; but, after a <i>leetle</i> consideration, I
+      determined to confound Madam Trot, and all other fickle fair
+      ones, by that very night marrying Miss Diana. I hastened on,
+      rushed precipitately into the shop, and on the
+      subject&mdash;and hear, oh heaven, and believe, oh earth! was
+      met, not by a plump denial, but was shown the door."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Upon my word, Mr. Tims," said I, "you have been a most
+      unfortunate man. I wonder you recovered after such mighty
+      reverses; but I hope&mdash;&mdash;"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Hope! that is the word, sir, the very word, I still had
+      hope; so, after ten days' horrible melancholy, in which I
+      cropped not a few heads in a novel and unprecedented style, I
+      at it again, and laid immediate and close siege to the last
+      and loveliest of the trio&mdash;one by whom I was shot dead
+      at first sight, and of whom it might be said, as I once heard
+      Kean justly observe in a very pretty tragedy, and to a
+      numerous audience, 'We ne'er shall look upon her like
+      again!'"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Capital, Mr. Tims. Well, how did you get on?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "A moment's patience, with your honour's leave.&mdash;Ah!
+      truly might it be said of her, that she was descended from
+      the high and great&mdash;her grandfather having been not only
+      six feet three, without the shoes, but for forty odd years
+      principal bell-ringer in the steeple of St. Giles's,
+      Cripplegate; and her grandmother, for long and long, not only
+      head dry-nurse to one of the noblest families in all England,
+      but <i>bona fide</i> twenty-two stone avoirdupois&mdash;so
+      that it was once proposed, by the undertaker, to bury her at
+      twice! As to this nonpareil of lovely flesh and blood, her
+      name was Lucy Mainspring, the daughter of a horologer,
+      sir,&mdash;a watchmaker&mdash;<i>vulgo</i> so
+      called&mdash;and though fattish, she was very
+      fair&mdash;fair! by Jupiter, (craving your honour's pardon
+      for swearing,) she fairly made me give all other thoughts the
+      cut, and twisted the passions of my heart with the red-hot
+      torturing irons of love. 'Pon honour, sir, I almost grow
+      foolish when I think of those days; but love, sir, nothing
+      can resist love."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I hope, Mr. Tims, you were in better luck with Miss
+      Mainspring?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "A <i>leetle</i> a <i>leetle</i> patience, your honour, and
+      all will be out as quick as directly&mdash;in the twinkling
+      of a bed-post.&mdash;For three successive nights I sat up in
+      a brown study, with a four-in-the-pound candle burning before
+      me till almost cock-crow, composing a love-letter, a most
+      elaborate affair, the pure overflowing of <i>la belle
+      passion</i>, all about Venus, Cupids, bows and arrows,
+      hearts, darts, and them things, which, having copied neatly
+      over <span class="pagenum"><a id="page299"
+      name="page299"></a>[pg 299]</span> on a handsome sheet of
+      foolscap, turned up with gilt, (for, though I say it myself,
+      I scribble a smart fist,) I made a blotch of red wax on the
+      back as large as a dollar, that thereon I might the more
+      indelibly impress a seal, with a couple of pigeons cooing
+      upon it, and '<i>toujours wotre</i>' for the motto. This I
+      popped into the post-office, and waited patiently&mdash;may I
+      add confidently?&mdash;for the result.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "No answer having come as I expected <i>per</i> return, I
+      began to smell that I was in the wrong box; so, on the
+      following evening, I had a polite visit from her respectable
+      old father, Daniel Mainspring, who asked me what my
+      intentions were?&mdash;'To commence wig-maker on my own
+      bottom,' answered I.&mdash;'But with respect to my daughter,
+      sir?'&mdash;'Why, to be sure, to make her mistress,
+      sir.'&mdash;'Mistress!' quoth he, 'did I hear you right,
+      sir?'&mdash;'I hope you are not hard of hearing, Mr.
+      Mainspring. I wish, sir&mdash;between us, sir&mdash;you
+      understand, sir&mdash;to marry her, sir.'&mdash;'Then you
+      can't have her, sir.'&mdash;'But I must, sir, for I can't do
+      without her, sir.'&mdash;'Then you may buy a
+      rope.'&mdash;'Ah! you would not sign my
+      death-warrant&mdash;wouldn't you not now, Mr.
+      Mainspring?'&mdash;'Before going,' said he, rummaging his
+      huge coat-pockets with both hands at once, 'there is your
+      letter, which I read over patiently, instead of my daughter,
+      who has never seen it; and I hope you will excuse the liberty
+      I take of calling you a great fool, and wishing you a good
+      morning.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Now, though a lad of mettle, you know, sir, it would not
+      have been quite the thing to have called out my intended
+      father-in-law; so, with amazing forbearance, bridling my
+      passion, I allowed him to march off triumphantly, and stood,
+      with the letter in my hand, looking down the alley after him,
+      strutting along, staff in hand, like a recruiting sergeant,
+      as if he had been a phoenix.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "A man of my penetration was not long in scenting out who was
+      the formidable rival to whom Daddy Mainspring alluded.
+      <i>Sacre</i>! to think the mercenary old hunks could dream of
+      sacrificing my lovely Lucy to such a hobgoblin of a fellow as
+      a superannuated dragoon quartermaster, with a beak like
+      Bardolph's in the play. But I had some confidence in my own
+      qualifications; and as I gave a sly glance down at my nether
+      person, 'Dash-the-wig-of-him!' thought I to myself, 'if he
+      can sport a leg like that of Toby Tims.' I accordingly
+      determined not to be discomfited, and took the earliest
+      opportunity of presenting Miss Lucy, through a sure channel,
+      with a passionate billet doux, a patent pair of gilt
+      bracelets, and a box of Ruspini's tooth-powder. By St.
+      Patrick and all the powers, it was shocking to suppose that
+      such an angel as the cherry-cheeked Lucy should be stolen
+      from me by such an apology for a gallant, as Quartermaster
+      Bottlenose of the Tipperary Rangers. 'Twas murder, by
+      Jupiter."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I perfectly agree with you, Mr. Tims; Did you challenge him
+      to the duello?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "A <i>leetle</i> patience, if you please, sir, and you shall
+      hear all. During the violence of my love-fits, I committed a
+      variety of professional mistakes. I sent at one time a pot of
+      bear's grease away by the mail, in a wig-box, to a member of
+      parliament in Yorkshire; and burned a whole batch of baked
+      hair to ashes, while singing Moore's 'When he who adores
+      thee,' in attitude, before a block, dressed up for the
+      occasion with a fashionable wig upon it&mdash;to say nothing
+      of my having, in a fit of abstraction, given a beautiful
+      young lady, who was going that same evening to a Lord Mayor's
+      ball, the complete charity-workhouse cut, leaving her scalp
+      as bare as the back of my hand. But cheer up!&mdash;to my
+      happy astonishment, sir, matters worked like a charm. What a
+      parley-vooing and billet-dooing passed between us! We would
+      have required a porter for the sole purpose. Then we had
+      stolen interviews of two hours' duration each, for several
+      successive nights, at the old horologer's back-door, during
+      which, besides a multiplicity of small-talk&mdash;thanks to
+      his deafness&mdash;I tried my utmost to entrap her
+      affections, by reciting sonnets, and spouting bits of plays
+      in the manner of the tragedy performers. These were the happy
+      times, sir! The world was changed for me. Paddington canal
+      seemed the river Pactolus, and Rag-Fair Elysium!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The old boy, however, ignorant of our orgies, was still
+      bothering his brains to bring about matrimony between his
+      daughter and the veteran&mdash;who, though no younger than
+      Methusalem, as stiff as the Monument, and as withered as
+      Belzoni's Piccadilly mummy, had yet the needful,
+      sir&mdash;had abundance of the wherewithal&mdash;crops of
+      yellow shiners&mdash;lots of the real&mdash;sported a gig,
+      and kept on board wages a young shaver of all work, with a
+      buff jacket, turned up with sky-blue facings. Only think,
+      sir&mdash;only ponder for a moment what a formidable rival I
+      had!"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I hope you beat him off, however," said I. "The greater
+      danger the more honour you know, Mr. Tims."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Of that anon, sir.&mdash;Lucy, on her part, angelic
+      creature, professed that she could not dream of being
+      undutiful towards <span class="pagenum"><a id="page300"
+      name="page300"></a>[pg 300]</span> kind old Pa; and that,
+      unless desperate measures were resorted to,
+      <i>quamprimum</i>, in the twinkling of a bed-post she would
+      be under the disagreeable necessity to bundle and go with the
+      disabled man of war to the temple of Hymen. Sacrilegious
+      thought! I could not permit it to enter my bosom, and (pardon
+      me for a moment, sir) when I looked down, and caught a glance
+      of my own natty-looking, tight little leg, and dapper
+      Hessians, I recommended her strongly to act on the principle
+      of the Drury-lane play-bill, which says, 'All for Love, or
+      the World well lost.'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Well, sir, hark ye, just to show how things come about.
+      Shortly after this, on the anniversary of my honoured old
+      master, Zachariah Pigtail's birth, when we were allowed to
+      strike work at noon, I determined, as a <i>dernier
+      resort</i>, as a clincher, sir, to act the genteel, and
+      invite Miss Lucy, in her furs and falderals, to accompany me
+      to the Exhibition of Pictures. Heavens, sir, how I dressed on
+      that day! The Day and Martin of my boots reflected on the
+      shady side of the street. I took half an hour in tying and
+      retying my neckcloth <i>en mode</i>. My handkerchief smelt of
+      lavender, and my hair of oil of thyme&mdash;my waistcoat of
+      bergamot, and my inexpressibles of musk. I was a perfect
+      civet for perfumery. My coat, cut in the jemmy fashion, I
+      buttoned to suffocation; but 'pon honour, believe me, sir, no
+      stays, and my shirt neck had been starched <i>per order</i>,
+      to the consistence of tin. In short, to be brief, I found, or
+      fancied myself killing&mdash;a most irresistible fellow.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "I did not dare, however, to call for Miss Lucy at old Pa's,
+      but waited for her at the corner of the street, patiently
+      drumming on my boot, with a knowing little bit of bamboo; and
+      projecting my left arm to her, off we marched in triumph.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The Exhibition Rooms were crowded with the <i>ton</i>; and
+      to be sure a great many fine things were there. Would you had
+      seen them, sir. There were admirals in blue, and generals in
+      red&mdash;portraits of my lord this, and my lady
+      that&mdash;land scenes, and sea scenes, and hunting scenes,
+      with thips, and woods, and old castles, all amazingly like
+      life. In short, sir, Providence seems to have guided us to
+      the spot, where we saw a picture&mdash;<i>the</i> picture,
+      sir&mdash;the pattern copy of that there picture,
+      sir&mdash;and heavens! such a piece of work&mdash;but of that
+      anon&mdash;it did the business, sir. No sooner had I perused
+      it through my quizzing-glass, which, I confess, that I had
+      brought with me more for ornament than use&mdash;having eyes
+      like a hawk&mdash;than I pathetically exclaimed to
+      Lucy&mdash;'Behold, my love, the history of our fates!' Lucy
+      said, 'Tuts, Toby Tims,' and gave a giggle; but I went on in
+      solemn gravity, before a circle of seemingly electrified
+      spectators.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "'Spose now, Miss Lucy,' said I, holding her by the finger of
+      her Limerick glove; 'spose now, that I had invited you to
+      take an outside seat on the Hampstead Flying Phoenix with me,
+      to go out to a rural junketing, on May day in the afternoon.
+      Very well&mdash;there we find ourselves alive and kicking,
+      forty couple footing it on the green, and choosing, according
+      to our tastes, reels, jigs, minuets, or bumpkins. 'Spose
+      then, that I have handed you down to the bottom of
+      five-and-twenty couple at a country-dance, to the tune of Sir
+      Roger de Coverley, Morgiana in Ireland, Petronella, or the
+      Triumph; and, notwithstanding our having sucked a couple of
+      oranges a-piece, we are both quite in a broth of
+      perspiration. Very good&mdash;so says I to you, making a
+      genteel bow, 'Do you please to walk aside, and cool yourself
+      in them there green arbours, and I will be with you as quick
+      as directly, with a glass of lemonade or cherry brandy?' So
+      says you to me, dropping a curtsey <i>a la mode</i>, 'With
+      ineffable pleasure, sir;' and away you trip into the shade
+      like a sunbeam.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "'Now, Lucy, my love, take a good look of that picture. That
+      is you, 'spose, seated on the turf, a <i>leetle</i> behind
+      the pillar dedicated to Apollar; and you, blooming like a
+      daffodilly in April, are waiting with great thirst, and not a
+      little impatience, for my promised appearance, from the sign
+      of the Hen and Chickens, with the cordials, and a few
+      biscuits on a salver&mdash;when, lo! an old bald-pated,
+      oily-faced, red-nosed Cameronian ranter, whom by your elegant
+      negligee capering you have fairly danced out of his dotard
+      senses, comes pawing up to you like Polito's polar bear,
+      drops on his knees, and before you can avert your nose from a
+      love-speech, embalmed in the fumes of tobacco and purl, the
+      hoary villain has beslobbered your lily-white fingers, and is
+      protesting unalterable affection, at the rate of twelve miles
+      an hour, inclusive of stoppages. Now, Lucy, love, did you
+      ever,&mdash;say upon your honour,&mdash;did you ever witness
+      such a spectacle of humanity? Tell me now?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "'Very well. Now, love, take a peep down the avenue, and yon
+      is me, yon tight, handsome little figure, with the Spanish
+      cap and cloak, attended by a trusty servant in the same
+      costume, to whom I am pointing where he is to bring the
+      cherry-brandy; when, lo! we perceive the hideous
+      apparition!&mdash;and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page301"
+      name="page301"></a>[pg 301]</span> straightway rushing
+      forward, like two tigers on a jackass, we seize the wigless
+      dotard, and, calling for a blanket, the whole respectable
+      company of forty couples and upwards, come crowding to the
+      spot, and lend a willing hand in rotation, four by four, in
+      tossing Malachi, the last of the lovers, till the breath of
+      life is scarcely left in his vile body.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "'Now Lucy,' says I, in conclusion, 'don't you see the
+      confounded absurdity of ever wasting a thought on a
+      broken-down, bandy-legged, beggarly dragoon? Just look at
+      him, with an old taffeta whigmaleerie tied to his back, like
+      Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind! Isn't he a
+      pretty figure, now, to go a-courting? You would never forsake
+      the like of me&mdash;would you now? A spruce, natty little
+      body of a creature&mdash;to be the trollop of a
+      spindle-shanked veteran, who, besides having one foot in the
+      grave, and a nose fit for three, might be your
+      great-grandfather?'
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "It was a sight, sir, that would have melted the heart of a
+      wheel-barrow. Before the whole assembled exhibition-room,
+      Lucy first looked blue, and then blushed consent. 'Toby,'
+      said she, 'don't mention it, Toby, dear,&mdash;I am thine for
+      ever and a day!' Angelic sounds, which at once sent
+      Bottlenose to Coventry. His chance was now weak indeed, quite
+      like Grantham gruel, three groats to a gallon of water. In an
+      ecstacy of passion, sir, I threw my silk handkerchief on the
+      floor, and, kneeling on it with one knee, I raised her
+      gloveless fingers to my lips!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The whole company clapped their hands, and laughed so
+      heartily in sympathy with my good luck! Oh! sir, had you but
+      seen it&mdash;what a sight for sore eyes that was!"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Then you would indeed be the happy man at last, Mr. Tims,"
+      said I. "Did you elope on the instant?"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Just done, please your honour.&mdash;Next morning, according
+      to special agreement, we eloped in a gig; and, writing a
+      penitent letter from the Valentine and Orson at Chelsea,
+      Daddy Mainspring found himself glad to come to terms. Thrice
+      were the banns published; and such a marriage as we had! 'Pon
+      honour, sir, I would you had been present. It was a thing to
+      be remembered till the end of one's life. A deputation of the
+      honourable the corporation of barbers duly attended, puffed
+      out in full fig; and even the old quartermaster, pocketing
+      his disappointment, was, at his own special petition, a
+      forgiven and favoured guest. Seldom has such dancing been
+      seen within the bounds of London; and, with two fiddles, a
+      tambourin, and a clarionet, we made all the roofs ring, till
+      an early hour next morning&mdash;and that we did."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "You are a lucky fellow, Mr. Tims," said I.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "And more than that, sir. When old Mainspring kicks, we are
+      to have the counting of his mouldy coppers&mdash;so we have
+      the devil's luck and our own; and as for false curls, braids,
+      bandeaux, Macassar oil, cold cream, bear's-grease,
+      tooth-powder, and Dutch toys, show me within the walls of the
+      City a more respectable, tip-topping perfumery depot and
+      wig-warehouse, than that wherein you now sit, and of which I,
+      Tobias Tims, am, with due respect, the honoured master, and
+      your humble servant!"
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Blackwood's Magazine</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In addition to the foregoing, (which is one of the happiest
+      pieces in Goldsmith's style that we have read for a long
+      time,) there is in <i>Blackwood's Magazine</i> an article of
+      extraordinary graphic spirit, occupying twenty-two pages. But
+      we will attempt to abridge it for our columns, as well as to
+      give a sprinkling from the <i>Noctes</i> in the same number.
+      All are in the best style of their vigorous masters.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ELEGY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      <i>To the Memory of Miss Emily Kay, (cousin to Miss Ellen
+      Gee, of Kew,) who lately died at Ewell, and was buried in
+      Essex</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      D.T. Fabula narratur.
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Sad nymphs of UL, U have much to cry for,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Sweet MLE K U never more shall C!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          O SX maids! come hither and VU,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          With tearful I this M T LEG.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Without XS she did XL alway&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Ah me! it truly vexes 1 2 C
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          How soon so DR a creature may DK,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And only leave behind XUVE!
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Whate'er I O to do she did discharge,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          So that an NME it might NDR:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Then Y an SA write? then why N?
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Or with my briny tears her BR BDU?
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          When her Piano-40 she did press,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Such heavenly sounds did MN8, that she,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Knowing her Q, soon I U 2 confess
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Her XLNC in an XTC.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Her hair was soft as silk, not YRE,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          It gave no Q nor yet 2 P to view:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          She was not handsome: shall I tell U Y?
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          U R 2 know her I was all SQ.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          L8 she was, and prattling like AJ.
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          O, little MLE! did you 4 C
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The grave should soon MUU, cold as clay.
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And U should cease to B an NTT!
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          While taking T at Q with LN G,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The MT grate she rose to put a(:)
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Her clothes caught fire&mdash;I ne'er again shall C
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Poor MLE, who now is dead as Solon.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          O, LN G! in vain you set at 0
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          GR and reproach for suffering her 2 B
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Thus sacrificed: to JL U should be brought
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And burnt U 0 2 B in FEG.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Sweet MLE K into SX they bore,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Taking good care her monument to Y 10,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And as her tomb was much 2 low B 4,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          They lately brought fresh bricks the walls to I 10.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>New Monthly Mag</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page302" name="page302"></a>[pg
+      302]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      Notes of a Reader.
+    </h2>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      A NEW CYCLOPAEDIA.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      A "Cabinet Cyclopaedia" is announced for publication, under
+      the superintendance of Dr. Lardner. It is to consist of a
+      series of "Cabinets" of the several sciences, &amp;c. and
+      upwards of 100 volumes, to be published monthly, are already
+      announced in the prospectus; or nine years publishing. The
+      design is not altogether new, it being from the
+      <i>Encyclopaedie Methodique</i>, a series of dictionaries,
+      now publishing in Paris; and about four years since a similar
+      work was commenced in England, but only three volumes or
+      dictionaries of the series were published. If this be the
+      flimsy age, the "Cabinet Cyclopaedia" is certainly not one of
+      the flimsiest of its projects; and for the credit of the age,
+      we wish the undertaking all success.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      "A GENTLEMAN"
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Is a term very vaguely applied, and indistinctly understood.
+      There are Gentlemen by birth, Gentlemen by education,
+      Gentlemen's Gentlemen, Gentlemen of the Press, Gentlemen
+      Pensioners, Gentlemen, whom nobody thinks it worth while to
+      call otherwise; <i>Honourable</i> Gentlemen, Walking
+      Gentlemen of strolling companies, Light-fingered Gentlemen,
+      &amp;c. &amp;c. very respectable Gentlemen, and God
+      Almighty's Gentlemen.&mdash;<i>Blackwood's Magazine</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ROMAN THEATRES.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      There are five theatres at Rome to a population very nearly
+      as considerable as that of Dublin. Each of these
+      establishments is the property of one of the noble families
+      in the city, who prefer doing by themselves what is usually
+      done in England by committee.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      CATS AND FELINE ANIMALS (<i>once more!</i>)
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Animals of the cat kind are, in a state of nature almost
+      continually in action both by night and by day. They either
+      walk, creep, or advance rapidly by prodigious bounds; but
+      they seldom <i>run</i>, owing, it is believed, to the extreme
+      flexibility of their limbs and vertebral column, which cannot
+      preserve the rigidity necessary to that species of movement.
+      Their sense of sight, especially during twilight, is acute;
+      their hearing very perfect, and their perception of smell
+      less so than in the dog tribe. Their most obtuse sense is
+      that of taste; the lingual nerve in the lion, according to
+      Des Moulins, being no larger than that of a middle-sized dog.
+      In fact, the tongue of these animals is as much an organ of
+      mastication as of taste; its sharp and horny points, inclined
+      backwards, being used for tearing away the softer parts of
+      the animal substances on which they prey. The perception of
+      touch is said to reside very delicately in the small bulbs at
+      the base of the mustachios.&mdash;<i>Wilson's Zoology</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      TEA AND TAY.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      <i>From Blackwood's last "Noctes."</i>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>North</i>. As you love me, my dear James, call it not tea,
+      but <i>tay</i>. That though obsolete, is the classical
+      pronunciation. Thus Pope sings in the <i>Rape of the
+      Lock</i>, canto i.
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Soft yielding minds to water glide away,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And sip with nymphs their elemental tea."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      And also in canto iii&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Where thou great Anna, whom these realms obey,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Dost sometimes counsel take, and sometimes tea."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      And finally in the Basset Table&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Tell, tell your grief, attentive will I stay,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Though time is precious, and I want some tea."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>Shepherd</i>. A body might think frae thae rhymes, that
+      Pop had been an Eerishman.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      "MERRY ENGLAND."
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The people of England, we fear, have at last forfeited the
+      proud title of "merry," to distinguish them from other and
+      less happy, because more serious, nations; for now they
+      sadden at amusement, and sicken and turn pale at a jest; so
+      entirely have they forfeited it, that an ingenious critic
+      cannot believe they ever possessed it; and has set himself
+      accordingly to prove, that, in the old English, <i>merrie</i>
+      does not mean merry, but sorrowful, or heart-broken, or some
+      such thing.&mdash;<i>Edin. Rev.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      SYMPATHY.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          There is a tear, more sweet and soft
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Than beauty's smiling lip of love;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          By angel's eyes first wept and oft
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          On earth by eyes like those above:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          It flows for virtue in distress.
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          It soothes, like hope, our sufferings here;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          'Twas given, and it is shed, to bless&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          'Tis sympathy's celestial tear.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>Amulet.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      MR. ABERNETHY
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Was one day descanting upon the advantages of a public
+      education for boys, when he concluded by saying, "And what
+      think you of Eton? I think I shall send my son there to learn
+      manners." "It would have been as well, my dear," responded
+      his wife, "had you gone there too."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page303" name="page303"></a>[pg
+      303]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      ENGLISH BENEVOLENCE.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      For several years previous to 1823, the crops in Ireland had
+      been scanty, particularly those of potatoes. In 1821 the
+      potato crop was <i>a complete failure</i>; and in 1822 it is
+      impossible to tell, and dreadful to think, of what might have
+      been the consequence, had not the English people come
+      forward, and by the most stupendous act of national
+      generosity which the world ever saw, and which none but a
+      country so rich as England could afford, arrested "the plague
+      of hunger," which must otherwise have desolated the country.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      PAINTING IN FRESCO.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The revival of this beautiful art is strongly recommended by
+      a writer in the <i>Edinburgh Review</i>, for the internal
+      decoration of private residences. "As we have begun to build
+      houses upon a handsome scale in London, the lovers of art may
+      venture to hope, that instead of spending enormous sums
+      solely on the upholsterer for his fading ornaments, something
+      may now be spared to the artist, for conferring on the walls
+      unfading decorations of a far more delightful and
+      intellectual kind. If the work be well executed, it will not
+      suffer injury from being washed with clean and cold water."
+      The reviewer then goes on to suggest "small foundations, like
+      the fellowships at our universities. The fellow, a young
+      artist of promise, might spend two or three years in painting
+      the interior of a church, or other public building,
+      maintaining himself meanwhile on his fellowship, or two or
+      three hundred pounds a year." "If, however, the objections to
+      painting our churches be deemed insuperable, we have
+      buildings designed for civil purposes in abundance, which are
+      well adapted for this species of decoration." He then
+      instances Westminster Hall, the walls of which might be
+      covered with fresco; and the outsides of houses in many
+      German cities and towns in the German cantons of Switzerland,
+      the outsides of which are painted with scriptural and
+      historical subjects. "Painting," observes he, "were the use
+      of it universal, would be a powerful means of instruction to
+      children and the lower orders; and were all the fine
+      surfaces, which are now plain and absolutely wasted, enriched
+      with the labours of the art, if they once began to appear,
+      they would accumulate rapidly; and were the ornamented
+      edifices open to all, as freely as they ought to be, a wide
+      field of new and agreeable study would offer itself."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      PHILANTHROPY.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Hast thou power? the weak defend,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Light?&mdash;give light: thy knowledge lend.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Rich?&mdash;remember Him who gave.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Free?&mdash;be brother to the slave.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>Amulet.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      LITERARY CLUBS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      O what curses, not loud, but deep, has not old Simpkin, of
+      the Crown and Anchor, in his day, and Willis and Kay in later
+      times, groaned at the knot of authors who were occupying one
+      of his best dining-rooms up-stairs, and leaving the Port, and
+      claret, and Madeira to a death-like repose in the cellar,
+      though the waiter had repeatedly popped his head into the
+      apartment with an admonitory "Did you ring, gentlemen?" to
+      awaken them to a becoming sense of the social duties of
+      man.&mdash;<i>New Monthly Mag</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ALLIGATORS SWALLOWING STONES.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The Indians on the banks of the Oronoko assert, that
+      previously to an alligator going in search of prey, it always
+      swallows a large stone, that it may acquire additional weight
+      to aid it in diving and dragging its victims under water. A
+      traveller being somewhat incredulous on this point, Bolivar,
+      to convince him, shot several with his rifle, and in all of
+      them were found stones, varying in weight according to the
+      size of the animal. The largest killed was about 17 feet in
+      length, and had within him a stone weighing about 60 or 70
+      pounds.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      CRICKET.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Miss Mitford, in one of her charming sketches, tells us of a
+      cricket-ball being thrown five hundred yards. This is what
+      the people who write for Drury-lane and Covent-garden would
+      call "pitching it pretty strong."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ADVANTAGES OF CHEAP BOOKS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      When Goldsmith boasted of having seen a splendid copy of his
+      poems in the cabinet of some great lord, saying emphatically,
+      "This is fame, Dr. Johnson," the doctor told him that, for
+      his part, he would have been more disposed to
+      self-gratulation had he discovered any of the progeny of his
+      mind thumbed and tattered in the cabin of a
+      peasant.&mdash;<i>Q. Rev.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      REMEMBRANCE.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          I recollect my happy home,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          My pleasures as a child;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The forest where I used to roam,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The rocks so bleak and wild.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          That home is tenantless; the spot
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          It graced is rude and bare;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The lov'd ones gone, our name forgot.
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And desolation there.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>Forget Me Not</i>&mdash;1829.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In how many thousand hearts will this lament find an echo!
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page304" name="page304"></a>[pg
+      304]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h2>
+      The Gatherer
+    </h2>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      SHAKSPEARE.
+    </h4>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      QUID PRO QUO.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      A canon of the cathedral of Seville, who was very affected in
+      his dress, and particular in his shoes, could not in the
+      whole city find a workman to his liking. An unfortunate
+      shoemaker to whom he applied, after quitting many others,
+      having brought him a pair of shoes which did not please his
+      taste, the canon became furious, and seizing one of the tools
+      of the shoemaker, gave him with it so many blows on the head,
+      that the poor shoemaker fell dead on the floor. The unhappy
+      man left a widow, four daughters, and a son fourteen years of
+      age, the eldest of the indigent family. They made their
+      complaints to the chapter; the canon was prosecuted, and
+      condemned <i>not to appear in the choir for a year</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The young shoemaker, having attained to man's estate, was
+      scarcely able to get a livelihood; and overwhelmed with
+      wretchedness, sat down on the day of a procession at the door
+      of the cathedral of Seville, in the moment the procession
+      passed by. Among the other canons he perceived the murderer
+      of his father. At the sight of this man, filial affection,
+      rage, and despair got so far the better of his reason, that
+      he fell furiously on the priest, and stabbed him to the
+      heart. The young man was seized, convicted of the crime, and
+      immediately condemned to be quartered alive. Peter, whom we
+      call the cruel, and whom the Spaniards, with more reason,
+      call the lover of justice, was then at Seville. The affair
+      came to his knowledge, and after learning the particulars, he
+      determined to be himself the judge of the young shoemaker.
+      When he proceeded to give judgment, he first annulled the
+      sentence just pronounced by the clergy; and after asking the
+      young man what profession he was, "<i>I forbid you</i>," said
+      he, "<i>to make shoes for a year to come.</i>"
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      When Demetrius conquered the city of Magara, and every thing
+      had been plundered by his soldiers, he ordered the
+      philosopher Stilpon to be called before him, and asked him
+      whether he had not lost his property in this confusion? "No,"
+      replied Stilpon, "as all I possess is in my head."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      LORD MAYOR'S DAY.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      A country gentleman, much averse to city revelry, made the
+      following couplet:
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Music hath charms to sooth the savage beast,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And therefore proper at a city feast.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      A city gentleman, who had laid up a store of wealth,
+      replied:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          The chink of gold with gold, transporting sound!
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Exceeds the Timbrel, or the Syren's voice
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Harmonious, when collective plates go round,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And Hock and Turtle make the heart rejoice.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      An inveterate sportsman, hearing early his favourite cry of
+      beagles from the wood, exclaimed:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Hark, friend, what heavenly music meets the ear;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Haste, farmer, we shall lose it all, I fear.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      The rustic, who dreads hounds over his new-sown wheat,
+      replies:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Music! I cannot hear it for the noise
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Of those curs'd dogs, loud shouts, and bellowing boys.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      Antigonus, being in his tent, heard two soldiers, who were
+      standing outside, speak very disrespectfully of him. After he
+      had listened some time, he opened the tent and said to them,
+      "If you wish to speak thus of me, you might at least go a
+      little aside."&mdash;<i>Sulzer.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      A supplementary number of the Mirror, containing the
+      "<i>Spirit of the Annuals</i>," with a fine engraving, will
+      be published with our Number on Saturday, November 15."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      Purchasers of the Mirror, who may wish to complete their sets
+      are informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and
+      may be purchased separately. The whole of the numbers are now
+      in print, and can be procured by giving an order to any
+      Bookseller or Newsvender.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Complete sets Vol I. to XI. in boards, price &pound;2. 19s.
+      6d. half bound, &pound;3. 17s.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      <i>LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS</i>.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Cheap and popular works published at the Mirror office in the
+      Strand, near Somerset House.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS. Embellished with nearly
+      150 Engravings. Price 6s. 6d. boards.<br />
+       The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s.<br />
+       The MICROCOSM. By the Right Hon. G. Canning. &amp;c. Price
+      2s.<br />
+       PLUTARCH'S LIVES, with Fifty Portraits, 2 vols. price 13s.
+      boards.<br />
+       COWPER'S POEMS, with 12 Engravings, price 3s. 6d.
+      boards.<br />
+       COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards.<br />
+       The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD
+      DISPLAYED. Price 5s. boards.<br />
+       BEAUTIES of SCOTT. 2 vols. price 7s.<br />
+       The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      GOLDSMITH'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.<br />
+       DR. FRANKLIN'S ESSAYS. Price 1s. 2d.<br />
+       BACON'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.<br />
+       SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a> <b>Footnote 1</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        Dr. Burney says he was "equal in science, if not in genius,
+        to the best musicians of his age."
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a> <b>Footnote 2</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        Born in his father's house, at the Spread Eagle in
+        Bread-street, Cheapside, December 9, 1608.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote3" name="footnote3"></a> <b>Footnote 3</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag3">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        W. Kennedy&mdash;in the <i>Amulet</i> for 1829.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote4" name="footnote4"></a> <b>Footnote 4</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag4">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        From this custom probably originated that in England, of
+        widows concealing their hair for a stated period after the
+        death of their husbands. Indeed, we know of more than one
+        instance of a widow closely <i>cutting off</i> her hair.
+        But these sorrowful observances are becoming less and less
+        frequent.&mdash;ED.&lt;/&gt;
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <a id="footnote5" name="footnote5"></a> <b>Footnote 5</b>:
+      <a href="#footnotetag5">(return)</a>
+      <p>
+        Morant's Essex, vol. i. p. 57.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <i>Printed and Published by J. Limbird, 143, Strand, (near
+      Somerset House,) London; sold by Ernest Fleischer, 626,
+      NewMarket, Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+<pre>
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement,
+and Instruction, by Various
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIRROR OF LITERATURE, NO. 339 ***
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+The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, by Various
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction
+       Volume 12, No. 339, Saturday, November 8, 1828.
+
+Author: Various
+
+Release Date: February 26, 2004 [EBook #11312]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: ASCII
+
+*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIRROR OF LITERATURE, NO. 339 ***
+
+
+
+
+Produced by Jonathan Ingram, Keith M. Eckrich, David Garcia, and the
+Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
+
+
+
+
+
+THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+
+VOL. XII, NO. 339.] SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1828. [PRICE 2d.
+
+
+
+
+Great Milton.
+
+
+[Illustration: Great Milton.]
+
+
+Great Milton, a picturesque village, near Thame, in Oxfordshire, is
+entitled to notice in the annals of literature, as the family seat of
+the MILTONS, ancestors of Britain's illustrious epic poet. Of this
+original abode, our engraving is an accurate representation. One of
+Milton's ancestors forfeited his estate in the turbulent times of York
+and Lancaster. "Which side he took," says Johnson, "I know not; his
+descendant inherited no veneration for the White Rose." His grandfather
+was under ranger of the forest of Shotover, Oxon, who was a zealous
+Papist, and disinherited his son for becoming a Protestant. Milton's
+father being thus deprived of his family property, was compelled to quit
+his studies at Christ Church, Oxford, whence he went to London, and
+became a scrivener. He was eminent for his skill in music;[1] and from
+his reputation in his profession, he grew rich, and retired. He was
+likewise a classical scholar, as his son addresses him in one of his
+most elaborate Latin verses. He married a lady of the name of Caston, of
+a Welsh family, by whom he had two sons, John, THE POET,[2] and
+Christopher, who studied the law, became a bencher of the Inner Temple,
+was knighted at a very advanced age, and raised by James II. first to be
+a Baron of the Exchequer, and afterwards one of the Judges of the Common
+Pleas. He was much persecuted by the republicans for his adherence to
+the royal cause, but his composition with them was effected by his
+brother's interest.
+
+    [1] Dr. Burney says he was "equal in science, if not in genius, to
+        the best musicians of his age."
+
+    [2] Born in his father's house, at the Spread Eagle in Bread-street,
+        Cheapside, December 9, 1608.
+
+Besides these two sons, he had a daughter, Anne, who was married to a
+Mr. Edward Philips, of Shrewsbury; by him she had two sons, John and
+Edward, who were educated by the poet, and from whom is derived the
+only authentic account of his domestic manners.
+
+MILTON was thus by birth a gentleman; but had his descent been
+otherwise, his works would ennoble him to posterity.
+
+  The lord, by giddy fortune courted,
+    Stalks through a part by thousands played;
+  The minstrel, proud and unsupported,
+    Stands forth the Noble God has made[3]
+
+    [3]  W. Kennedy--in the _Amulet_ for 1829.
+
+We sought our illustration of GREAT MILTON in the "Oxfordshire" of that
+voluminous and expensive work, "the Beauties of England and Wales;" but,
+strange to say, the family name of Milton is not even mentioned there,
+although the house is still
+
+  By chance or Nature's changing course untrimm'd.
+
+
+The editor, however, tells us, on the authority of Leland, that there
+was at Great Milton a priory "many yeres syns;" and quotes the following
+quaint lines from a tablet in the church:--
+
+  Here lye mother and babe, both without sins,
+  Next birth will make her and her infant, twins.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+ANCIENT FEASTINGS IN GUILDHALL, &c.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+The first time that Guildhall was used on festive occasions was by Sir
+John Shaw Goldsmith, knighted in the field of Bosworth. After building
+the essentials of good kitchens, and other offices, in the year 1500,
+he gave here the mayor's feast, which before had usually been done in
+Grocers' Hall. None of these bills of fare (says Pennant) have reached
+me; but doubtless they were very magnificent. They at length grew to
+such excess, that in the time of Queen Mary a sumptuary law was made
+to restrain the expense both of provisions and _liveries_; but I
+suspect, (says Pennant,) as it lessened the honour of the city, it was
+not long observed, for in 1554, the city thought proper to renew the
+order of council, by way of reminding their fellow citizens of their
+relapse into luxury. Among the great feasts given here on public
+occasions, may be reckoned that given in 1612, on occasion of the
+unhappy marriage of the Prince Palatine with Elizabeth, daughter of
+James I. The next was in 1641, when Charles I. returned from his
+imprudent and inefficacious journey into Scotland. But our ancestors far
+surpassed these feasts. Richard, Earl of Cornwall, brother to Henry III.
+had, at his marriage feast, (as is recorded,) 30,000 dishes of meat.
+Nevil, archbishop of York, had, at his consecration, a feast sufficient
+for 10,000 people. One of the abbots of St. Augustine, at Canterbury,
+invited 5,000 guests to his installation dinner. And King Richard II.,
+at a Christmas feast, had daily 26 oxen, 300 sheep, besides fowls,
+and all other provisions proportionably. So anciently, at a call of
+sergeants-at-law, each sergeant (says Fortescue) spent 1,600 crowns
+in feasting.
+
+P.T.W.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+MAXIMS TO LIVE BY.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+To have too much forethought is the part of a wretch; to have too little
+is the part of a fool.
+
+Self-will is so ardent and active that it will break a world to pieces
+to make a stool to sit on.
+
+Remember always to mix good sense with good things, or they will become
+disgusting.
+
+If there is any person to whom you feel a dislike, that is the person of
+whom you ought never to speak.
+
+Irritability urges us to take a step as much too soon, as sloth does too
+late.
+
+Say the strongest things you can with candour and kindness to a man's
+face, and make the best excuse you can for him with truth and justice,
+behind his back.
+
+Men are to be estimated, as Johnson says, by the mass of character.
+A block of tin may have a grain of silver, but still it is tin; and a
+block of silver may have an alloy of tin; but still it is silver. Some
+men's characters are excellent, yet not without alloy. Others base, yet
+tend to great ends. Bad men are made the same use of as scaffolds; they
+are employed as means to erect a building, and then are taken down and
+destroyed.
+
+If a man has a quarrelsome temper, let him alone; the world will soon
+find him employment. He will soon meet with some one stronger than
+himself, who will repay him better than you can. A man may fight duels
+all his life if he is disposed to quarrel.
+
+A person who objects to tell a friend of his faults, because he has
+faults of his own, acts as a surgeon would, who should refuse to dress
+another's wound because he had a dangerous one himself.
+
+Some evils are irremediable, they are best neither seen nor heard; by
+seeing and hearing things that you cannot remove, you will create
+implacable adversaries; who being guilty aggressors, never forgive.
+
+W.J.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+Manners & Customs of all Nations.
+
+CUSTOMS RELATING TO THE BEARD.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+It was a custom among the Romans to consecrate the first growth of their
+beard to some god; thus Nero at the Gynick games, which he exhibited in
+the Septa, cut off the first growth of his beard, which he placed in a
+golden box, adorned with pearls, and then consecrated it in the Capitol
+to Jupiter.
+
+The nations in the east used mostly to nourish their beards with
+great care and veneration, and it was a punishment among them, for
+licentiousness and adultery, to have the beard of the offending parties
+publicly cut off. Such a sacred regard had they for the preservation
+of their beards, that if a man pledged it for the payment of a debt,
+he would not fail to pay it. Among the Romans a bearded man was a
+proverbial expression for a man of virtue and simplicity. The Romans
+during grief and mourning used to let their hair and beard grow, (Livy)
+while the Greeks on the contrary used to cut off their hair and shave
+their beards on such occasions.[4](Seneca.) When Alexander the Great was
+going to fight against the Persians, one of his officers brought him
+word that all was ready for battle, and demanded if he required anything
+further. On which Alexander replied, "nothing but that the Macedonians
+cut off their beards--for there is not a better handle to take a man by
+than the beard." This shows Alexander intended close fighting. Shaving
+was not introduced among the Romans till late. Pliny tells us that P.
+Ticinias was the first who brought a barber to Rome, which was in the
+454th year from the building of the city. Scipio Africanus was the first
+among the Romans who shaved his beard, and Adrianus the emperor (says
+Dion,) was the first of all the Caesars who nourished his beard.
+
+    [4] From this custom probably originated that in England, of widows
+        concealing their hair for a stated period after the death of
+        their husbands. Indeed, we know of more than one instance of a
+        widow closely _cutting off_ her hair. But these sorrowful
+        observances are becoming less and less frequent.--ED.
+
+The Roman servants or slaves were not allowed to poll their hair,
+or shave their beards. The Jews thought it ignominious to lose their
+beards, 2 Sam. c. x. v. 4. Among the Catti, a nation of Germany, a young
+man was not allowed to shave or cut his hair till he had slain an enemy.
+(Tacitus.) The Lombards or Longobards, derived their Fame from the great
+length of their beards. When Otho the Great used to speak anything
+serious, he swore by his beard, which covered his breast. The Persians
+are fond of long beards. We read in Olearius' Travels of a king of
+Persia who had commanded his steward's head to be cut off, and on its
+being brought to him, he remarked, "what a pity it was, that a man
+possessing such fine mustachios, should have been executed," but added
+he, "Ah! it was your own fault." The Normans considered the beard as an
+indication of distress and misery. The Ancient Britons used always to
+wear the hair on the upper lip, and so strongly were they attached to
+this custom, that when William the Conqueror ordered them to shave their
+upper lip, it was so repugnant to their feelings, that many of them
+chose rather to abandon their country than resign their mustachios. In
+the 15th century, the beard was worn long. In the 16th, it was suffered
+to grow to an amazing length, (see the portraits of Bishop Gardiner, and
+Cardinal Pole, during Queen Mary's reign,) and very often made use of
+as a tooth-pick case. Brantome tells us that Admiral Coligny wore his
+tooth-pick in his beard.
+
+C.B.Z.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+SINGULAR CUSTOM AT ROUEN.
+
+(_For the Mirror_.)
+
+
+The chapter of Rouen, (which consists of the archbishop, a dean, fifty
+canons, and ten prebendaries,) have, ever since the year 1156, enjoyed
+the annual privilege of pardoning, on Ascension-day, some individual
+confined within the jurisdiction of the city for murder.
+
+On the morning of Ascension-day, the chapter, having heard many
+examinations and confessions read, proceed to the election of the
+criminal who is to be pardoned; and, the choice being made, his name is
+transmitted in writing to the parliament, which assemble on that day at
+the palace. The parliament then walk in procession to the great chamber,
+where the prisoner is brought before them in irons, and placed on a
+stool; he is informed that the choice has fallen upon him, and that
+he is entitled to the privilege of St. Romain. After this form, he is
+delivered into the hands of the chaplain, who, accompanied by fifty
+armed men, conveys him to a chamber, where the chains are taken from his
+legs and bound about his arms; and in this condition he is conducted
+to a place named the Old Tower, where he awaits the coming of the
+procession. After some little time has elapsed, the procession sets
+out from the cathedral; two of the canons bear the shrine in which
+the relics of St. Romain are presumed to be preserved. When they
+have arrived at the Old Tower, the shrine is placed in the chapel,
+opposite to the criminal, who appears kneeling, with the chains on his
+arms. Then one of the canons, having made him repeat the confession,
+says the prayers usual at the time of giving absolution; after which
+service, the prisoner kneeling still, lifts up the shrine three times,
+amid the acclamations of the people assembled to behold the ceremony.
+The procession then returns to the cathedral, followed by the criminal,
+wearing a chaplet of flowers on his head, and carrying the shrine of the
+saint. After mass has been performed, he has a very serious exhortation
+addressed to him by a monk; and, lastly, he is conducted to an apartment
+near the cathedral, and is supplied with refreshments and a bed for that
+night. In the morning he is dismissed.
+
+G.W.N.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE SKETCH-BOOK
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+ABBOTSFORD,
+
+_And Sir Walter Scott's Study_.
+
+[The following extracts are from the private letter of a distinguished
+American gentleman, and form part of one of the most striking articles
+in "The Anniversary for 1829," edited by Allan Cunningham. We intended
+the whole article for our Supplementary "Spirit of the Annuals;" but
+as our engraving will necessarily occupy a few days longer, during
+which time this description of _Abbotsford_ will be printed in
+fifty different forms, we are induced to take it by the forelock, and
+appropriate it for our present number. It is, perhaps, one of the
+most, if not the most, graphic paper in the whole list of "Annuals,"
+notwithstanding there are scores of brilliant gems left for our
+Supplement. Certain arts must have their own pace; but, in our arduous
+catering for novelties for the MIRROR, we often have occasion to wish
+that _block-machinery_ could be applied to engraving on wood.]
+
+"Stepping westward," as Wordsworth says, from the hall, you find
+yourself in a narrow, low, arched room, which runs quite across the
+house, having a blazoned window again at either extremity, and filled
+all over with smaller pieces of armour and weapons, such as swords,
+firelocks, spears, arrows, darts, daggers, &c. &c. &c. Here are
+the pieces, esteemed most precious by reason of their histories
+respectively. I saw, among the rest, Rob Roy's gun, with his initials,
+R.M.C. i.e. Robert Macgregor Campbell, round the touch-hole; the
+blunderbuss of Hofer, a present to Sir Walter from his friend Sir
+Humphrey Davy; a most magnificent sword, as magnificently mounted, the
+gift of Charles the First to the great Montrose, and having the arms
+of Prince Henry worked on the hilt; the hunting bottle of bonnie
+King Jamie; Bonaparte's pistols (found in his carriage at Waterloo,
+I believe), _cum multis aliis_. I should have mentioned that
+stag-horns and bulls' horns (the petrified relics of the old mountain
+monster, I mean), and so forth, are suspended in great abundance above
+all the doorways of these armories; and that, in one corner, a dark one
+as it ought to be, there is a complete assortment of the old Scottish
+instruments of torture, not forgetting the very thumbikins under which
+Cardinal Carstairs did _not_ flinch, and the more terrific iron
+crown of Wisheart the Martyr, being a sort of barred headpiece, screwed
+on the victim at the stake, to prevent him from crying aloud in his
+agony.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+Beyond the smaller, or rather I should say, the narrower armoury,
+lies the dining parlour proper, however; and though there is nothing
+Udolphoish here, yet I can well believe that when lighted up and the
+curtains drawn at night, the place may give no bad notion of the private
+snuggery of some lofty lord abbot of the time of the Canterbury Tales.
+The room is a very handsome one, with a low and very richly carved roof
+of dark oak again; a huge projecting bow window, and the dais elevated
+_more majorum_; the ornaments of the roof, niches for lamps, &c.
+&c. in short, all the minor details, are, I believe, fac similes after
+Melrose. The walls are hung in crimson, but almost entirely covered with
+pictures, of which the most remarkable are--the parliamentary general,
+Lord Essex, a full length on horseback; the Duke of Monmouth, by Lely; a
+capital Hogarth, by himself; Prior and Gay, both by Jervas; and the head
+of Mary Queen of Scots, in a charger, painted by Amias Canrod, the day
+after the decapitation at Fotheringay, and sent some years ago as a
+present to Sir Walter from a Prussian nobleman, in whose family it had
+been for more than two centuries. It is a most deathlike performance,
+and the countenance answers well enough to the coins of the unfortunate
+beauty, though not at all to any of the portraits I have happened to
+see. I believe there is no doubt as to the authenticity of this most
+curious picture. Among various family pictures, I noticed particularly
+Sir Walter's great grandfather, the old cavalier mentioned in one of
+the epistles in Marmion, who let his beard grow after the execution of
+Charles I., and who here appears, accordingly, with a most venerable
+appendage of silver whiteness, reaching even unto his girdle.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+A narrower passage leads to a charming breakfast room, which looks to
+the Tweed on one side, and towards Yarrow and Ettricke, famed in song,
+on the other: a cheerful room, fitted up with novels, romances, and
+poetry, I could perceive, at one end; and the other walls covered thick
+and thicker with a most valuable and beautiful collection of watercolour
+drawings, chiefly by Turner and Thomson of Duddingstone, the designs,
+in short, for the magnificent work entitled "Provincial Antiquities of
+Scotland." There is one very grand oil painting over the chimney-piece,
+Fastcastle, by Thomson, alias the Wolf's Crag of the Bride of
+Lammermoor, one of the most majestic and melancholy sea-pieces I ever
+saw; and some large black and white drawings of the Vision of Don
+Roderick, by Sir James Steuart of Allanbank (whose illustrations of
+Marmion and Mazeppa you have seen or heard of), are at one end of the
+parlour. The room is crammed with queer cabinets and boxes, and in a
+niche there is a bust of old Henry Mackenzie, by Joseph of Edinburgh.
+Returning towards the armoury, you have, on one side of a most religious
+looking corridor, a small greenhouse, with a fountain playing before
+it--the very fountain that in days of yore graced the cross of
+Edinburgh, and used to flow with claret at the coronation of the
+Stuarts--a pretty design, and a standing monument of the barbarity of
+modern innovation. From the small armoury you pass, as I said before,
+into the drawing-room, a large, lofty, and splendid _salon_, with
+antique ebony furniture and crimson silk hangings, cabinets, china, and
+mirrors _quantum suff_, and some portraits; among the rest glorious
+John Dryden, by Sir Peter Lely, with his gray hairs floating about in a
+most picturesque style, eyes full of wildness, presenting the old Bard,
+I take it, in one of those "tremulous moods," in which we have it on
+record he appeared when interrupted in the midst of his Alexander's
+Feast. From this you pass into the largest of all the apartments, the
+library, which, I must say, is really a noble room. It is an oblong of
+some fifty feet by thirty, with a projection in the centre, opposite the
+fireplace, terminating in a grand bow window, fitted up with books also,
+and, in fact, constituting a sort of chapel to the church. The roof is
+of carved oak again--a very rich pattern--I believe chiefly _a la_
+Roslin, and the bookcases, which are also of richly carved oak, reach
+high up the walls all round. The collection amounts, in this room, to
+some fifteen or twenty thousand volumes, arranged according to their
+subjects: British history and antiquities, filling the whole of the
+chief wall; English poetry and drama, classics and miscellanies, one
+end: foreign literature, chiefly French and German, the other. The cases
+on the side opposite the fire are wired and locked, as containing
+articles very precious and very portable. One consists entirely of books
+and MSS. relating to the insurrections of 1715 and 1745; and another
+(within the recess of the bow window), of treatises _de re magica_,
+both of these being (I am told, and can well believe), in their several
+ways, collections of the rarest curiosity. My cicerone pointed out, in
+one corner, a magnificent set of Mountfaucon, ten volumes folio, bound
+in the richest manner in scarlet, and stamped with the royal arms, the
+gift of his present majesty. There are few living authors of whose works
+presentation copies are not to be found here. My friend showed me
+inscriptions of that sort in, I believe, every European dialect extant.
+The books are all in prime condition, and bindings that would satisfy
+Mr. Dibdin. The only picture is Sir Walter's eldest son, in hussar
+uniform, and holding his horse, by Allan of Edinburgh, a noble portrait,
+over the fireplace; and the only bust is that of Shakspeare, from the
+Avon monument, in a small niche in the centre of the east side. On a
+rich stand of porphyry, in one corner, reposes a tall silver urn,
+filled with bones from the Piraeus, and bearing the inscription,
+"Given by George Gordon, Lord Byron, to Sir Walter Scott, Bart." It
+_contained_ the letter which accompanied the gift till lately: it
+has disappeared; no one guesses who took it, but whoever he was, as my
+guide observed, he must have been a thief for thieving's sake truly,
+as he durst no more exhibit his autograph than tip himself a bare
+bodkin. Sad, infamous tourist, indeed! Although I saw abundance of
+comfortable-looking desks and arm chairs, yet this room seemed rather
+too large and fine for _work_, and I found accordingly, after
+passing a double pair of doors, that there was a _sanctum_ within
+and beyond this library. And here you may believe, was not to me the
+least interesting, though by no means the most splendid, part of the
+suite.
+
+The lion's own den proper, then, is a room of about five-and-twenty
+feet square by twenty feet high, containing of what is properly called
+furniture nothing but a small writing-table in the centre, a plain
+arm-chair covered with black leather--a very comfortable one though, for
+I tried it--and a single chair besides, plain symptoms that this is no
+place for company. On either side of the fireplace there are shelves
+filled with duodecimos and books of reference, chiefly, of course,
+folios; but except these there are no books save the contents of a light
+gallery which runs round three sides of the room, and is reached by a
+hanging stair of carved oak in one corner. You have been both at the
+Elisee Bourbon and Malmaison, and remember the library at one or other
+of those places, I forget which; this gallery is much in the same style.
+There are only two portraits, an original of the beautiful and
+melancholy head of Claverhouse, and a small full length of Rob Roy.
+Various little antique cabinets stand round about, each having a bust
+on it: Stothard's Canterbury Pilgrims are on the mantelpiece; and in
+one corner I saw a collection of really useful weapons, those of the
+forest-craft, to wit--axes and bills and so forth of every calibre.
+There is only one window pierced in a very thick wall, so that the
+place is rather sombre; the light tracery work of the gallery overhead
+harmonizes with the books well. It is a very comfortable-looking room,
+and very unlike any other I ever was in. I should not forget some
+Highland claymores, clustered round a target over the Canterbury people,
+nor a writing-box of carved wood, lined with crimson velvet, and
+furnished with silver plate of right venerable aspect, which looked as
+if it might have been the implement of old Chaucer himself, but which
+from the arms on the lid must have belonged to some Indian prince of
+the days of Leo the Magnificent at the furthest.
+
+The view to the Tweed from all the principal apartments is beautiful.
+You look out from among bowers, over a lawn of sweet turf, upon the
+clearest of all streams, fringed with the wildest of birch woods, and
+backed with the green hills of Ettricke Forest. The rest you must
+imagine. Altogether, the place destined to receive so many pilgrimages
+contains within itself beauties not unworthy of its associations. Few
+poets ever inhabited such a place; none, ere now, ever created one.
+It is the realization of dreams: some Frenchman called it, I hear,
+"a romance in stone and lime."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+SPIRIT OF DISCOVERY
+
+_Aerial Voyages of Spiders_.
+
+
+The number of the aeronautic spiders occasionally suspended in the
+atmosphere, says Mr. Murray, I believe to be almost incredible, could
+we ascertain their amount. I was walking with a friend on the 9th, and
+noticed that there were four of these insects on his hat, at the moment
+there were three on my own; and from the rapidity with which they
+covered its surface with their threads, I cannot doubt that they are
+chiefly concerned in the production of that tissue which intercepts the
+dew, and which, illuminated by the morning sun, "glitters with gold,
+and with rubies and sapphires." Indeed, I have noticed that, when the
+frequent descent of the aeronautic spider was determined, a newly rolled
+turnip field was, in a few hours, overspread by a carpet of their
+threads. It may be remarked that our little aeronaut is very greedy of
+moisture, though abstemious in other respects. Its food is perhaps
+peculiar, and only found in the superior regions of the sky. Like the
+rest of its tribe, it is doubtless carnivorous, and may subserve some
+highly important purpose in the economy of Providence; such, for
+instance, as the destruction of that truly formidable, though almost
+microscopically minute insect, the Furia infernalis, whose wounds are
+stated to be mortal. Its existence has been indeed questioned, but by
+no means disapproved; that, and some others, injurious to man, or to
+the inferior creation, may be its destined prey, and thus our little
+aeronaut, unheeded by the common eye, may subserve an important good.
+
+Mr. Bowman, F.L.S. says, "We arrested several of these little aeronauts
+in their flight, and placed them on the brass gnomon of the sundial, and
+had the gratification to see them prepare for, and recommence, their
+aerial voyage. Having crawled about for a short time, to reconnoitre,
+they turned their abdomens from the current of air, and elevated them
+almost perpendicularly, supporting themselves solely on the claws of
+their fore legs, at the same instant shooting out four or five, often
+six or eight, extremely fine webs, several yards long, which waved
+in the breeze, diverging from each other like a pencil of rays, and
+strongly reflecting the sunbeams. After the insects had remained
+stationary in this apparently unnatural position for about half a
+minute, they sprang off from the stage with considerable agility, and
+launched themselves into the air. In a few seconds after they were seen
+sailing majestically along, without any apparent effort, their legs
+contracted together, and lying perfectly quiet on their backs, suspended
+from their silken parachutes, and presenting to the lover of nature a
+far more interesting spectacle than the balloon of the philosopher. One
+of these natural aeronauts I followed, which, sailing in the sunbeams,
+had two distinct and widely diverging fasciculi of webs, and their
+position in the air was such, that a line uniting them would have been
+at right angles with the direction of the breeze."--_Mag. Natural
+History_.
+
+
+_The Ichneumon Fly_.
+
+There are several species of ichneumon which make thinnings among the
+caterpillars of the cabbage butterfly. The process of one species
+is this:--while the caterpillar is feeding, the ichneumon fly hovers
+over it, and, with its piercer, perforates the fatty part of the
+caterpillar's back in many places, and in each deposits an egg, by
+means of the two parts of the sheath uniting together, and thus forming
+a tube down which the egg is conveyed into the perforation made by the
+piercer of the fly. The caterpillar unconscious of what will ensue keeps
+feeding on, until it changes into a chrysalis; while in that torpid
+state, the eggs of the ichneumon are hatched, and the interior of the
+body of the caterpillar serves as food for the caterpillars of the
+ichneumon fly. When these have fed their accustomed time, and are about
+to change into the pupa state, they, by an instinct given them, attack
+the vital part of the caterpillar (a most wonderful economy in nature,
+that this process should be delayed until they have no more occasion
+for food.) They then spin themselves minute cases within the body of
+the caterpillar; and instead of a butterfly coming forth (which, if a
+female, would have probably laid six hundred eggs, thus producing as
+many caterpillars, whose food would be the cabbage,) a race of these
+little ichneumon flies issues forth, ready to perform the task assigned
+them, of keeping within due limits those fell destroyers of our
+vegetables.--_Mr. Carpenter--in Gill's Repository._
+
+
+_Hawking_.
+
+Professional falconers have been for many years natives of the village
+of _Falconsward_, near Bois le Duc, in Holland. A race of them was
+there born and bred, whence supplies have been drawn for the service of
+all Europe; but as there has been no sufficient inducement for the young
+men to follow the employment of their forefathers, numbers are dead or
+worn out; and there only remains John Pells, now in the service of John
+Dawson Downes, Esq., of Old Gunton Hill, Suffolk.
+
+The hawks which have been trained for the field, are the slight falcon
+and the goshawk, which are the species generally used in falconry. The
+former is called a long-winged hawk, or one of the _lure_; the
+latter, a short-winged hawk, or one of the _fist_.
+
+The Icelander is the largest hawk that is known, and highly esteemed by
+falconers, especially for its great powers and tractable disposition.
+The gyr falcon is less than the Icelander, but much larger than the
+slight falcon. These powerful birds are flown at herons and hares, and
+are the only hawks that are fully a match for the fork-tailed kite. The
+merlin and hobby are both small hawks and fit only for small birds, as
+the blackbird, &c. The sparrow-hawk may be also trained to hunt; his
+flight is rapid for a short distance, kills partridges well in the early
+season, and is the best of all for landrails.
+
+The slight falcon takes up his abode every year, from October and
+November until the spring, upon Westminster Abbey, and other churches in
+the metropolis. This is well known to the London pigeon-fanciers, from
+the great havoc they make in their flight.--_Sir John Sebright_
+
+
+_Technicalities of Science_.
+
+The inutility of science, written in a merely technical form, is well
+exemplified in the instance of Cicero. He was advised by his friends not
+to write his works on Greek Philosophy in Latin; because those who cared
+for it would prefer his work in Greek, and those who did not would read
+neither Greek nor Latin. The splendid success of his _De Officiis_,
+his _De Finibus_, his _De Natura Deorum_, &c., showed that his
+friends were wrong. He persevered in the popular style, and led the
+fashion.--_Mag. Nat. Hist._
+
+
+_Doubtful Discoveries_.
+
+It may serve, in some measure, to confirm M. Dutroehet's recent opinion
+of the non-existence of miscroscopic animalcula, that the celebrated
+Spallanzani persuaded himself that he could see Animalcula infusoria
+which could be seen by nobody else. He attributed his own superiority of
+vision, in this respect, to long practice in using the microscope. The
+philosopher exulted in his enviable distinction, when a peasant, to whom
+he showed his animalcula, could perceive nothing but muddy
+water.--_Ibid._
+
+
+_Faculties of Brutes_.
+
+The dog is the only animal that dreams; and he and the elephant the
+only animals that understand looks; the elephant is the only animal
+that, besides man, feels _ennui_; the dog, the only quadruped that
+has been brought to speak. Leibnitz bears witness to a hound in Saxony,
+that could speak distinctly thirty words.--_Medical Gazette._
+
+
+_Sea Air_.
+
+The atmosphere, in the vicinity of the sea, usually contains a portion
+of the muriates over which it has been wafted. It is a curious fact, but
+well ascertained, that the air best adapted to vegetables is pernicious
+to animal life, and _vice versa._ Now, upon the sea-coast,
+accordingly, animals thrive, and vegetables decline.--_Hurwood's
+Southern Coast._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+Chingford Church.
+
+
+[Illustration: Chingford Church]
+
+
+  The roof with moss is green, and twines
+  Dark ivy round the sculptur'd lines.
+
+DELTA.
+
+
+The pleasant village of CHINGFORD, in Essex, may be called a vignette of
+the topographer's "_rus in urbe_," it being only nine miles distant
+from the heart of London, and consequently almost within its vortex.
+It stands on the banks of the river Lea, and derives its name from the
+Saxon word Cing and _ford_, (signifying the king's ford,) there
+having formerly been a ford here; the adjoining meadows being designated
+the king's meads, and the Lea, the king's stream. There appears to have
+been two manors in this parish, one of which was granted by Edward
+the Confessor to the cathedral of St. Paul's, but surrendered at the
+reformation to Henry VIII.; the other, according to Domesday Book, was
+held by Orgar, the Thane; and from the latter another manor has since
+been taken.
+
+The "ivy-mantled" church, represented in the above vignette, is
+dedicated to St. Peter and St. Paul, and consists of a chancel, nave,
+and south aisle, with a low square tower at the west end, containing
+three bells. Within the church are a few interesting monuments, among
+which is one to the memory of Robert Rampton, who died in 1585 and was
+yeoman of the chamber to Edward VI., and the Queens Mary and Elizabeth.
+It stands in the south aisle, with an inscription on a brass plate
+against the wall, underneath which is an altar tomb covered with a slab
+of black marble, on which are the effigies, in brass, of Robert Rampton,
+and his wife Margaret, who died in 1590.
+
+Altogether, Chingford is one of the prettiest villages near London, and
+its church is a picturesque attraction for pedestrian tourists, and such
+as love to steal away from the maelstroom of an overgrown metropolis, to
+glide into scenes of "calm contemplation and poetic ease;" although much
+of the journey lies through avenues of bricks and mortar, and trim roads
+that swarm with busy toil.
+
+In the parish of Chingford is an estate called Scots Mayhew, or
+Brindwoods, which is held of the rector by the following singular
+tenure:--"Upon every alienation, the owner of the estate, with his wife,
+and a man and maid servant, (each upon a horse) come to the parsonage,
+where the owner does his homage, and pays his relief in manner
+following:--He blows three blasts with his horn, carries a hawk on his
+fist, and his servant has a greyhound in a slip--both for the use of the
+rector that day. He receives a chicken for his hawk, a peck of oats for
+his horse, and a loaf of bread for his greyhound. They all dine, after
+which the master blows three blasts on his horn, and they all
+depart."[5]
+
+    [5] Morant's Essex, vol. i. p. 57.
+
+For the original of the engraving, and the substance of this
+description, our thanks are due to S.I.B.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+OLD SONG.
+
+The old minstrels saw far and deep, and clear into all
+heart-mysteries--and, low-born, humble men as they were, their tragic or
+comic strains strike like electricity.--_Blackwood._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+SPIRIT OF THE
+Public Journals.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE SHAVING SHOP
+
+
+  'Tis not an half hour's work--
+  A Cupid and a fiddle, and the thing's done.
+
+FLETCHER.
+
+
+"Hold back your head, if you please, sir, that I may get this napkin
+properly fastened--there now," said Toby Tims, as, securing the pin, he
+dipped his razor into hot water, and began working up with restless
+brush the lather of his soapbox.
+
+"I dare say you have got a newspaper there," said I; "are you a
+politician, Mr. Tims?"
+
+"Oh, just a little bit of one. I get Bell's Messenger at second
+hand from a neighbour, who has it from his cousin in the Borough,
+who, I believe, is the last reader of a club of fourteen, who take
+it among them; and, being last, as I observed, sir, he has the paper
+to himself into the bargain.--Please exalt your chin, sir, and keep
+your head a little to one side--there, sir," added Toby, cammencing
+his operations with the brush, and hoarifying my barbal extremity,
+as the facetious Thomas Hood would probably express it. "Now, sir--a
+_leetle_ more round, if you please--there, sir, there. It is
+a most entertaining paper, and beats all for news. In fact, it is
+full of every thing, sir--every, every thing--accidents--charity
+sermons--markets--boxing--Bible societies--horse racing--child
+murders--the theatres--foreign wars--Bow-street
+reports--electioneering--and Day and Martin's blacking."
+
+"Are you a bit of a bruiser, Mr. Tims?"
+
+"Oh, bless your heart, sir, only a _leetle_--a very _leetle_.
+A turn-up with the gloves, or so, your honour. I'm but a light
+weight--only a light weight--seven stone and a half, sir; but a rare bit
+of stuff, though I say it myself, sir--Begging your pardon. I dare say I
+have put some of the soap into your mouth. Now, sir, now--please let me
+hold your nose, sir."
+
+"Scarcely civil, Mr. Toby," said I, "scarcely civil--Phroo! let me spit
+out the suds."
+
+"I will be done in a moment, sir--in half a moment. Well, sir, speaking
+of razors, they should be always properly tempered with hot water, a
+_leetle_ dip more or less. You see now how it glides over, smooth
+and smack as your hand.--Keep still, sir; I might have given you a nick
+just now. You don't choose a _leetle_ of the mustachy left?"
+
+"No, no--off with it all. No matrimonial news stirring in this quarter
+just now, Mr. Tims?"
+
+"Nothing extremely particular.--Now, sir, you are fit for the king's
+levee, so far as my department is concerned. But you cannot go out just
+now, sir--see how it rains--a perfect water-spout. Just feel yourself at
+home, sir, for a _leetle_, and take a peep around you. That block,
+sir, has been very much admired--extremely like the Wenus de
+Medicine--capital nose--and as for the wig department, catch me for
+that, sir. But of all them there pictures hanging around, yon is the
+favourite of myself and the connessoors."
+
+"Ay, Mr. Tims," said I, "that is truly a gem--an old lover kneeling at
+the foot of his young sweetheart, and two fellows in buckram taking a
+peep at them from among the trees."
+
+"Capital, sir--capital. I'll tell you a rare good story, sir, connected
+with that picture and my own history, with your honour's leave, sir."
+
+"With all my heart, Mr. Tims--you are very obliging."
+
+"Well then, sir, take that chair, and I will get on like a house on
+fire; but if you please, don't put me off my clew, sir.--Concerning that
+picture and my courtship, the most serious epoch of my life, there is
+a _leetle_ bit of a story which I would like to be a beacon to
+others; and if your honour is still a bachelor, and not yet stranded on
+the shoals of matrimony, it may be _Werbum Sapienti_, as O'Toole,
+the Irish schoolmaster, used to observe, when in the act of applying the
+birch to the booby's back.
+
+"Well, sir, having received a grammatical education, and been brought up
+as a peruke-maker from my earliest years--besides having seen a deal of
+high life, and the world in general, in carrying false curls, bandeaux,
+and other artificial head-gear paraphernalia, in bandboxes to boarding
+schools, and so on--a desire naturally sprung up within me, being now in
+my twenty-first year, and worth a guinea a week of wages, to look about
+for what old kind Seignor Fiddle-stringo, the minuet-master, used to
+recommend under the title of a _cara sposa_--open shop--and act
+head frizzle in an establishment of my own.
+
+"Very good, sir--In the pursuit of this virtuous purpose, I cast a
+sheep's eye over the broad face of society, and at length, from a number
+of eligible specimens, I selected three, who, whether considered in the
+light of natural beauty, or mental accomplishment, struck me forcibly as
+suitable coadjutors for a man--for a man like your humble servant."
+
+"A most royal bow that, Mr. Tims. Well, proceed, if you please."
+
+"Very good, sir--well, then, to proceed. The first of these was Miss
+Diana Tonkin, a young lady, who kept her brother's snuff-shop, at the
+sign of the African astride the Tobacco Barrel--a rare beauty, who was
+on the most intimate talking terms with half a hundred young bloods and
+beaux, who looked in during lounging hours, being students of law,
+physic, and divinity, half-pay ensigns, and theatrical understrappers,
+to replenish their boxes with Lundyfoot, whiff a Havannah cigar, or
+masticate pigtail. No wonder that she was spoiled by flattery, Miss
+Diana, for she was a bit of a beauty; and though she had but one eye--by
+heavens, what an eye that was!"
+
+"She must have been an irresistible creature, certainly, Mr. Tims,"
+said I. "Well, how did you come on?"
+
+"Irresistible! but you shall hear, sir. I foresaw that, in soliciting
+the honour of the fair damsel's hand, I should have much opposition to
+encounter from the rivalry of the three learned professions, to say
+nothing of the gentlemen of the sword and of the buskin; but, thinks
+I to myself, 'faint heart never won fair lady,' so I at once set up a
+snuff-box, looked as tip-topping as possible, and commenced canvassing.
+
+"The second _elite_ (for I know a _leetle_ French, having for
+three months, during my apprenticeship, had the honour of frizling the
+head-gear of Count Witruvius de Caucason, who occupied private
+state-lodgings at the sign of the Blue Boar in the Poultry, and who
+afterwards decamped without clearing scores)--the second _elite_
+(for I make a point, sir, of having two strings to my bow) was Mrs. Joan
+Sweetbread, a person of exquisite parts, but fiery temper, at that time
+aged thirty-three, twelve stone weight, head cook and housekeeper to Sir
+Anthony Macturk, a Scotch baronet, who rusticated in the vicinity of
+town. I made her a few evening visits, and we talked love affairs over
+muffins and a cup of excellent congou. Then what a variety of jams and
+jellies! I never returned without a disordered stomach, and wishing
+Highland heather-honey at the devil. Yet, after all, to prove a
+hoax!--for even when I was on the point of popping the question, and had
+fastened my silk Jem Belcher with a knowing _leetle_ knot to set
+out for that purpose, I learned from Francie, the stable-boy, that she
+had the evening before eloped with the coachman, and returned to her
+post that forenoon metamorphosed into Madam Trot.
+
+"I first thought, sir, of hanging myself over the first lamp-post; but,
+after a _leetle_ consideration, I determined to confound Madam
+Trot, and all other fickle fair ones, by that very night marrying Miss
+Diana. I hastened on, rushed precipitately into the shop, and on the
+subject--and hear, oh heaven, and believe, oh earth! was met, not by a
+plump denial, but was shown the door."
+
+"Upon my word, Mr. Tims," said I, "you have been a most unfortunate man.
+I wonder you recovered after such mighty reverses; but I hope----"
+
+"Hope! that is the word, sir, the very word, I still had hope; so, after
+ten days' horrible melancholy, in which I cropped not a few heads in a
+novel and unprecedented style, I at it again, and laid immediate and
+close siege to the last and loveliest of the trio--one by whom I was
+shot dead at first sight, and of whom it might be said, as I once heard
+Kean justly observe in a very pretty tragedy, and to a numerous
+audience, 'We ne'er shall look upon her like again!'"
+
+"Capital, Mr. Tims. Well, how did you get on?"
+
+"A moment's patience, with your honour's leave.--Ah! truly might it be
+said of her, that she was descended from the high and great--her
+grandfather having been not only six feet three, without the shoes, but
+for forty odd years principal bell-ringer in the steeple of St. Giles's,
+Cripplegate; and her grandmother, for long and long, not only head
+dry-nurse to one of the noblest families in all England, but _bona
+fide_ twenty-two stone avoirdupois--so that it was once proposed, by
+the undertaker, to bury her at twice! As to this nonpareil of lovely
+flesh and blood, her name was Lucy Mainspring, the daughter of a
+horologer, sir,--a watchmaker--_vulgo_ so called--and though
+fattish, she was very fair--fair! by Jupiter, (craving your honour's
+pardon for swearing,) she fairly made me give all other thoughts the
+cut, and twisted the passions of my heart with the red-hot torturing
+irons of love. 'Pon honour, sir, I almost grow foolish when I think of
+those days; but love, sir, nothing can resist love."
+
+"I hope, Mr. Tims, you were in better luck with Miss Mainspring?"
+
+"A _leetle_ a _leetle_ patience, your honour, and all will be
+out as quick as directly--in the twinkling of a bed-post.--For three
+successive nights I sat up in a brown study, with a four-in-the-pound
+candle burning before me till almost cock-crow, composing a love-letter,
+a most elaborate affair, the pure overflowing of _la belle passion_,
+all about Venus, Cupids, bows and arrows, hearts, darts, and them things,
+which, having copied neatly over on a handsome sheet of foolscap, turned
+up with gilt, (for, though I say it myself, I scribble a smart fist,) I
+made a blotch of red wax on the back as large as a dollar, that thereon
+I might the more indelibly impress a seal, with a couple of pigeons
+cooing upon it, and '_toujours wotre_' for the motto. This I popped
+into the post-office, and waited patiently--may I add confidently?--for
+the result.
+
+"No answer having come as I expected _per_ return, I began to smell
+that I was in the wrong box; so, on the following evening, I had a
+polite visit from her respectable old father, Daniel Mainspring, who
+asked me what my intentions were?--'To commence wig-maker on my own
+bottom,' answered I.--'But with respect to my daughter, sir?'--'Why, to
+be sure, to make her mistress, sir.'--'Mistress!' quoth he, 'did I hear
+you right, sir?'--'I hope you are not hard of hearing, Mr. Mainspring.
+I wish, sir--between us, sir--you understand, sir--to marry her,
+sir.'--'Then you can't have her, sir.'--'But I must, sir, for I can't
+do without her, sir.'--'Then you may buy a rope.'--'Ah! you would not
+sign my death-warrant--wouldn't you not now, Mr. Mainspring?'--'Before
+going,' said he, rummaging his huge coat-pockets with both hands at
+once, 'there is your letter, which I read over patiently, instead of my
+daughter, who has never seen it; and I hope you will excuse the liberty
+I take of calling you a great fool, and wishing you a good morning.'
+
+"Now, though a lad of mettle, you know, sir, it would not have been
+quite the thing to have called out my intended father-in-law; so, with
+amazing forbearance, bridling my passion, I allowed him to march off
+triumphantly, and stood, with the letter in my hand, looking down the
+alley after him, strutting along, staff in hand, like a recruiting
+sergeant, as if he had been a phoenix.
+
+"A man of my penetration was not long in scenting out who was the
+formidable rival to whom Daddy Mainspring alluded. _Sacre_! to
+think the mercenary old hunks could dream of sacrificing my lovely
+Lucy to such a hobgoblin of a fellow as a superannuated dragoon
+quartermaster, with a beak like Bardolph's in the play. But I had some
+confidence in my own qualifications; and as I gave a sly glance down at
+my nether person, 'Dash-the-wig-of-him!' thought I to myself, 'if he can
+sport a leg like that of Toby Tims.' I accordingly determined not to be
+discomfited, and took the earliest opportunity of presenting Miss Lucy,
+through a sure channel, with a passionate billet doux, a patent pair of
+gilt bracelets, and a box of Ruspini's tooth-powder. By St. Patrick and
+all the powers, it was shocking to suppose that such an angel as the
+cherry-cheeked Lucy should be stolen from me by such an apology for a
+gallant, as Quartermaster Bottlenose of the Tipperary Rangers. 'Twas
+murder, by Jupiter."
+
+"I perfectly agree with you, Mr. Tims; Did you challenge him to the
+duello?"
+
+"A _leetle_ patience, if you please, sir, and you shall hear
+all. During the violence of my love-fits, I committed a variety of
+professional mistakes. I sent at one time a pot of bear's grease away
+by the mail, in a wig-box, to a member of parliament in Yorkshire; and
+burned a whole batch of baked hair to ashes, while singing Moore's 'When
+he who adores thee,' in attitude, before a block, dressed up for the
+occasion with a fashionable wig upon it--to say nothing of my having, in
+a fit of abstraction, given a beautiful young lady, who was going that
+same evening to a Lord Mayor's ball, the complete charity-workhouse cut,
+leaving her scalp as bare as the back of my hand. But cheer up!--to my
+happy astonishment, sir, matters worked like a charm. What a
+parley-vooing and billet-dooing passed between us! We would have
+required a porter for the sole purpose. Then we had stolen interviews
+of two hours' duration each, for several successive nights, at the
+old horologer's back-door, during which, besides a multiplicity of
+small-talk--thanks to his deafness--I tried my utmost to entrap her
+affections, by reciting sonnets, and spouting bits of plays in the
+manner of the tragedy performers. These were the happy times, sir! The
+world was changed for me. Paddington canal seemed the river Pactolus,
+and Rag-Fair Elysium!
+
+"The old boy, however, ignorant of our orgies, was still bothering
+his brains to bring about matrimony between his daughter and the
+veteran--who, though no younger than Methusalem, as stiff as the
+Monument, and as withered as Belzoni's Piccadilly mummy, had yet
+the needful, sir--had abundance of the wherewithal--crops of yellow
+shiners--lots of the real--sported a gig, and kept on board wages a
+young shaver of all work, with a buff jacket, turned up with sky-blue
+facings. Only think, sir--only ponder for a moment what a formidable
+rival I had!"
+
+"I hope you beat him off, however," said I. "The greater danger the more
+honour you know, Mr. Tims."
+
+"Of that anon, sir.--Lucy, on her part, angelic creature, professed that
+she could not dream of being undutiful towards kind old Pa; and that,
+unless desperate measures were resorted to, _quamprimum_, in the
+twinkling of a bed-post she would be under the disagreeable necessity to
+bundle and go with the disabled man of war to the temple of Hymen.
+Sacrilegious thought! I could not permit it to enter my bosom, and
+(pardon me for a moment, sir) when I looked down, and caught a glance of
+my own natty-looking, tight little leg, and dapper Hessians, I
+recommended her strongly to act on the principle of the Drury-lane
+play-bill, which says, 'All for Love, or the World well lost.'
+
+"Well, sir, hark ye, just to show how things come about. Shortly after
+this, on the anniversary of my honoured old master, Zachariah Pigtail's
+birth, when we were allowed to strike work at noon, I determined, as
+a _dernier resort_, as a clincher, sir, to act the genteel, and
+invite Miss Lucy, in her furs and falderals, to accompany me to the
+Exhibition of Pictures. Heavens, sir, how I dressed on that day! The
+Day and Martin of my boots reflected on the shady side of the street.
+I took half an hour in tying and retying my neckcloth _en mode_.
+My handkerchief smelt of lavender, and my hair of oil of thyme--my
+waistcoat of bergamot, and my inexpressibles of musk. I was a perfect
+civet for perfumery. My coat, cut in the jemmy fashion, I buttoned to
+suffocation; but 'pon honour, believe me, sir, no stays, and my shirt
+neck had been starched _per order_, to the consistence of tin.
+In short, to be brief, I found, or fancied myself killing--a most
+irresistible fellow.
+
+"I did not dare, however, to call for Miss Lucy at old Pa's, but waited
+for her at the corner of the street, patiently drumming on my boot, with
+a knowing little bit of bamboo; and projecting my left arm to her, off
+we marched in triumph.
+
+"The Exhibition Rooms were crowded with the _ton_; and to be sure a
+great many fine things were there. Would you had seen them, sir. There
+were admirals in blue, and generals in red--portraits of my lord this,
+and my lady that--land scenes, and sea scenes, and hunting scenes, with
+thips, and woods, and old castles, all amazingly like life. In short,
+sir, Providence seems to have guided us to the spot, where we saw a
+picture--_the_ picture, sir--the pattern copy of that there
+picture, sir--and heavens! such a piece of work--but of that anon--it
+did the business, sir. No sooner had I perused it through my
+quizzing-glass, which, I confess, that I had brought with me more for
+ornament than use--having eyes like a hawk--than I pathetically
+exclaimed to Lucy--'Behold, my love, the history of our fates!' Lucy
+said, 'Tuts, Toby Tims,' and gave a giggle; but I went on in solemn
+gravity, before a circle of seemingly electrified spectators.
+
+"'Spose now, Miss Lucy,' said I, holding her by the finger of her
+Limerick glove; 'spose now, that I had invited you to take an outside
+seat on the Hampstead Flying Phoenix with me, to go out to a rural
+junketing, on May day in the afternoon. Very well--there we find
+ourselves alive and kicking, forty couple footing it on the green,
+and choosing, according to our tastes, reels, jigs, minuets, or
+bumpkins. 'Spose then, that I have handed you down to the bottom of
+five-and-twenty couple at a country-dance, to the tune of Sir Roger
+de Coverley, Morgiana in Ireland, Petronella, or the Triumph; and,
+notwithstanding our having sucked a couple of oranges a-piece, we are
+both quite in a broth of perspiration. Very good--so says I to you,
+making a genteel bow, 'Do you please to walk aside, and cool yourself in
+them there green arbours, and I will be with you as quick as directly,
+with a glass of lemonade or cherry brandy?' So says you to me, dropping
+a curtsey _a la mode_, 'With ineffable pleasure, sir;' and away you
+trip into the shade like a sunbeam.
+
+"'Now, Lucy, my love, take a good look of that picture. That is you,
+'spose, seated on the turf, a _leetle_ behind the pillar dedicated
+to Apollar; and you, blooming like a daffodilly in April, are waiting
+with great thirst, and not a little impatience, for my promised
+appearance, from the sign of the Hen and Chickens, with the cordials,
+and a few biscuits on a salver--when, lo! an old bald-pated, oily-faced,
+red-nosed Cameronian ranter, whom by your elegant negligee capering you
+have fairly danced out of his dotard senses, comes pawing up to you like
+Polito's polar bear, drops on his knees, and before you can avert your
+nose from a love-speech, embalmed in the fumes of tobacco and purl, the
+hoary villain has beslobbered your lily-white fingers, and is protesting
+unalterable affection, at the rate of twelve miles an hour, inclusive of
+stoppages. Now, Lucy, love, did you ever,--say upon your honour,--did
+you ever witness such a spectacle of humanity? Tell me now?
+
+"'Very well. Now, love, take a peep down the avenue, and yon is me, yon
+tight, handsome little figure, with the Spanish cap and cloak, attended
+by a trusty servant in the same costume, to whom I am pointing where he
+is to bring the cherry-brandy; when, lo! we perceive the hideous
+apparition!--and straightway rushing forward, like two tigers on a
+jackass, we seize the wigless dotard, and, calling for a blanket, the
+whole respectable company of forty couples and upwards, come crowding to
+the spot, and lend a willing hand in rotation, four by four, in tossing
+Malachi, the last of the lovers, till the breath of life is scarcely
+left in his vile body.
+
+"'Now Lucy,' says I, in conclusion, 'don't you see the confounded
+absurdity of ever wasting a thought on a broken-down, bandy-legged,
+beggarly dragoon? Just look at him, with an old taffeta whigmaleerie
+tied to his back, like Paddy from Cork, with his coat buttoned behind!
+Isn't he a pretty figure, now, to go a-courting? You would never forsake
+the like of me--would you now? A spruce, natty little body of a
+creature--to be the trollop of a spindle-shanked veteran, who, besides
+having one foot in the grave, and a nose fit for three, might be your
+great-grandfather?'
+
+"It was a sight, sir, that would have melted the heart of a
+wheel-barrow. Before the whole assembled exhibition-room, Lucy first
+looked blue, and then blushed consent. 'Toby,' said she, 'don't mention
+it, Toby, dear,--I am thine for ever and a day!' Angelic sounds, which
+at once sent Bottlenose to Coventry. His chance was now weak indeed,
+quite like Grantham gruel, three groats to a gallon of water. In an
+ecstacy of passion, sir, I threw my silk handkerchief on the floor, and,
+kneeling on it with one knee, I raised her gloveless fingers to my lips!
+
+"The whole company clapped their hands, and laughed so heartily in
+sympathy with my good luck! Oh! sir, had you but seen it--what a sight
+for sore eyes that was!"
+
+"Then you would indeed be the happy man at last, Mr. Tims," said I. "Did
+you elope on the instant?"
+
+"Just done, please your honour.--Next morning, according to special
+agreement, we eloped in a gig; and, writing a penitent letter from the
+Valentine and Orson at Chelsea, Daddy Mainspring found himself glad to
+come to terms. Thrice were the banns published; and such a marriage as
+we had! 'Pon honour, sir, I would you had been present. It was a thing
+to be remembered till the end of one's life. A deputation of the
+honourable the corporation of barbers duly attended, puffed out in full
+fig; and even the old quartermaster, pocketing his disappointment, was,
+at his own special petition, a forgiven and favoured guest. Seldom has
+such dancing been seen within the bounds of London; and, with two
+fiddles, a tambourin, and a clarionet, we made all the roofs ring, till
+an early hour next morning--and that we did."
+
+"You are a lucky fellow, Mr. Tims," said I.
+
+"And more than that, sir. When old Mainspring kicks, we are to have the
+counting of his mouldy coppers--so we have the devil's luck and our own;
+and as for false curls, braids, bandeaux, Macassar oil, cold cream,
+bear's-grease, tooth-powder, and Dutch toys, show me within the walls
+of the City a more respectable, tip-topping perfumery depot and
+wig-warehouse, than that wherein you now sit, and of which I, Tobias
+Tims, am, with due respect, the honoured master, and your humble
+servant!"
+
+_Blackwood's Magazine_.
+
+In addition to the foregoing, (which is one of the happiest pieces
+in Goldsmith's style that we have read for a long time,) there is in
+_Blackwood's Magazine_ an article of extraordinary graphic spirit,
+occupying twenty-two pages. But we will attempt to abridge it for our
+columns, as well as to give a sprinkling from the _Noctes_ in the
+same number. All are in the best style of their vigorous masters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ELEGY
+
+
+_To the Memory of Miss Emily Kay, (cousin to Miss Ellen Gee, of Kew,)
+who lately died at Ewell, and was buried in Essex_.
+
+D.T. Fabula narratur.
+
+
+  Sad nymphs of UL, U have much to cry for,
+    Sweet MLE K U never more shall C!
+  O SX maids! come hither and VU,
+    With tearful I this M T LEG.
+
+  Without XS she did XL alway--
+    Ah me! it truly vexes 1 2 C
+  How soon so DR a creature may DK,
+    And only leave behind XUVE!
+
+  Whate'er I O to do she did discharge,
+    So that an NME it might NDR:
+  Then Y an SA write? then why N?
+    Or with my briny tears her BR BDU?
+
+  When her Piano-40 she did press,
+    Such heavenly sounds did MN8, that she,
+  Knowing her Q, soon I U 2 confess
+    Her XLNC in an XTC.
+
+  Her hair was soft as silk, not YRE,
+    It gave no Q nor yet 2 P to view:
+  She was not handsome: shall I tell U Y?
+    U R 2 know her I was all SQ.
+
+  L8 she was, and prattling like AJ.
+    O, little MLE! did you 4 C
+  The grave should soon MUU, cold as clay.
+    And U should cease to B an NTT!
+
+  While taking T at Q with LN G,
+    The MT grate she rose to put a(:)
+  Her clothes caught fire--I ne'er again shall C
+    Poor MLE, who now is dead as Solon.
+
+  O, LN G! in vain you set at 0
+    GR and reproach for suffering her 2 B
+  Thus sacrificed: to JL U should be brought
+    And burnt U 0 2 B in FEG.
+
+  Sweet MLE K into SX they bore,
+    Taking good care her monument to Y 10,
+  And as her tomb was much 2 low B 4,
+    They lately brought fresh bricks the walls to I 10.
+
+_New Monthly Mag_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+Notes of a Reader.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A NEW CYCLOPAEDIA.
+
+
+A "Cabinet Cyclopaedia" is announced for publication, under the
+superintendance of Dr. Lardner. It is to consist of a series of
+"Cabinets" of the several sciences, &c. and upwards of 100 volumes, to
+be published monthly, are already announced in the prospectus; or nine
+years publishing. The design is not altogether new, it being from
+the _Encyclopaedie Methodique_, a series of dictionaries, now
+publishing in Paris; and about four years since a similar work was
+commenced in England, but only three volumes or dictionaries of
+the series were published. If this be the flimsy age, the "Cabinet
+Cyclopaedia" is certainly not one of the flimsiest of its projects;
+and for the credit of the age, we wish the undertaking all success.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+"A GENTLEMAN"
+
+
+Is a term very vaguely applied, and indistinctly understood. There
+are Gentlemen by birth, Gentlemen by education, Gentlemen's Gentlemen,
+Gentlemen of the Press, Gentlemen Pensioners, Gentlemen, whom nobody
+thinks it worth while to call otherwise; _Honourable_ Gentlemen,
+Walking Gentlemen of strolling companies, Light-fingered Gentlemen,
+&c. &c. very respectable Gentlemen, and God Almighty's
+Gentlemen.--_Blackwood's Magazine_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ROMAN THEATRES.
+
+
+There are five theatres at Rome to a population very nearly as
+considerable as that of Dublin. Each of these establishments is the
+property of one of the noble families in the city, who prefer doing by
+themselves what is usually done in England by committee.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+CATS AND FELINE ANIMALS (_once more!_)
+
+
+Animals of the cat kind are, in a state of nature almost continually in
+action both by night and by day. They either walk, creep, or advance
+rapidly by prodigious bounds; but they seldom _run_, owing, it
+is believed, to the extreme flexibility of their limbs and vertebral
+column, which cannot preserve the rigidity necessary to that species of
+movement. Their sense of sight, especially during twilight, is acute;
+their hearing very perfect, and their perception of smell less so than
+in the dog tribe. Their most obtuse sense is that of taste; the lingual
+nerve in the lion, according to Des Moulins, being no larger than that
+of a middle-sized dog. In fact, the tongue of these animals is as
+much an organ of mastication as of taste; its sharp and horny points,
+inclined backwards, being used for tearing away the softer parts of the
+animal substances on which they prey. The perception of touch is said
+to reside very delicately in the small bulbs at the base of the
+mustachios.--_Wilson's Zoology_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+TEA AND TAY.
+
+_From Blackwood's last "Noctes."_
+
+
+_North_. As you love me, my dear James, call it not tea, but
+_tay_. That though obsolete, is the classical pronunciation. Thus
+Pope sings in the _Rape of the Lock_, canto i.
+
+  "Soft yielding minds to water glide away,
+  And sip with nymphs their elemental tea."
+
+
+And also in canto iii--
+
+  "Where thou great Anna, whom these realms obey,
+  Dost sometimes counsel take, and sometimes tea."
+
+
+And finally in the Basset Table--
+
+  "Tell, tell your grief, attentive will I stay,
+  Though time is precious, and I want some tea."
+
+
+_Shepherd_. A body might think frae thae rhymes, that Pop had been
+an Eerishman.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+"MERRY ENGLAND."
+
+
+The people of England, we fear, have at last forfeited the proud title
+of "merry," to distinguish them from other and less happy, because more
+serious, nations; for now they sadden at amusement, and sicken and turn
+pale at a jest; so entirely have they forfeited it, that an ingenious
+critic cannot believe they ever possessed it; and has set himself
+accordingly to prove, that, in the old English, _merrie_ does not
+mean merry, but sorrowful, or heart-broken, or some such
+thing.--_Edin. Rev._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+SYMPATHY.
+
+
+  There is a tear, more sweet and soft
+    Than beauty's smiling lip of love;
+  By angel's eyes first wept and oft
+    On earth by eyes like those above:
+  It flows for virtue in distress.
+    It soothes, like hope, our sufferings here;
+  'Twas given, and it is shed, to bless--
+    'Tis sympathy's celestial tear.
+
+_Amulet._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+MR. ABERNETHY
+
+
+Was one day descanting upon the advantages of a public education for
+boys, when he concluded by saying, "And what think you of Eton? I think
+I shall send my son there to learn manners." "It would have been as
+well, my dear," responded his wife, "had you gone there too."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ENGLISH BENEVOLENCE.
+
+
+For several years previous to 1823, the crops in Ireland had been
+scanty, particularly those of potatoes. In 1821 the potato crop was _a
+complete failure_; and in 1822 it is impossible to tell, and dreadful
+to think, of what might have been the consequence, had not the English
+people come forward, and by the most stupendous act of national
+generosity which the world ever saw, and which none but a country so
+rich as England could afford, arrested "the plague of hunger," which
+must otherwise have desolated the country.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+PAINTING IN FRESCO.
+
+
+The revival of this beautiful art is strongly recommended by a writer
+in the _Edinburgh Review_, for the internal decoration of private
+residences. "As we have begun to build houses upon a handsome scale in
+London, the lovers of art may venture to hope, that instead of spending
+enormous sums solely on the upholsterer for his fading ornaments,
+something may now be spared to the artist, for conferring on the walls
+unfading decorations of a far more delightful and intellectual kind. If
+the work be well executed, it will not suffer injury from being washed
+with clean and cold water." The reviewer then goes on to suggest "small
+foundations, like the fellowships at our universities. The fellow, a
+young artist of promise, might spend two or three years in painting the
+interior of a church, or other public building, maintaining himself
+meanwhile on his fellowship, or two or three hundred pounds a year."
+"If, however, the objections to painting our churches be deemed
+insuperable, we have buildings designed for civil purposes in abundance,
+which are well adapted for this species of decoration." He then
+instances Westminster Hall, the walls of which might be covered with
+fresco; and the outsides of houses in many German cities and towns in
+the German cantons of Switzerland, the outsides of which are painted
+with scriptural and historical subjects. "Painting," observes he, "were
+the use of it universal, would be a powerful means of instruction to
+children and the lower orders; and were all the fine surfaces, which are
+now plain and absolutely wasted, enriched with the labours of the art,
+if they once began to appear, they would accumulate rapidly; and were
+the ornamented edifices open to all, as freely as they ought to be, a
+wide field of new and agreeable study would offer itself."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+PHILANTHROPY.
+
+
+  Hast thou power? the weak defend,
+  Light?--give light: thy knowledge lend.
+  Rich?--remember Him who gave.
+  Free?--be brother to the slave.
+
+_Amulet._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+LITERARY CLUBS.
+
+
+O what curses, not loud, but deep, has not old Simpkin, of the Crown
+and Anchor, in his day, and Willis and Kay in later times, groaned at
+the knot of authors who were occupying one of his best dining-rooms
+up-stairs, and leaving the Port, and claret, and Madeira to a death-like
+repose in the cellar, though the waiter had repeatedly popped his head
+into the apartment with an admonitory "Did you ring, gentlemen?" to
+awaken them to a becoming sense of the social duties of man.--_New
+Monthly Mag_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ALLIGATORS SWALLOWING STONES.
+
+
+The Indians on the banks of the Oronoko assert, that previously to an
+alligator going in search of prey, it always swallows a large stone,
+that it may acquire additional weight to aid it in diving and dragging
+its victims under water. A traveller being somewhat incredulous on this
+point, Bolivar, to convince him, shot several with his rifle, and in all
+of them were found stones, varying in weight according to the size of
+the animal. The largest killed was about 17 feet in length, and had
+within him a stone weighing about 60 or 70 pounds.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+CRICKET.
+
+
+Miss Mitford, in one of her charming sketches, tells us of a
+cricket-ball being thrown five hundred yards. This is what the people
+who write for Drury-lane and Covent-garden would call "pitching it
+pretty strong."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ADVANTAGES OF CHEAP BOOKS.
+
+
+When Goldsmith boasted of having seen a splendid copy of his poems in
+the cabinet of some great lord, saying emphatically, "This is fame, Dr.
+Johnson," the doctor told him that, for his part, he would have been
+more disposed to self-gratulation had he discovered any of the progeny
+of his mind thumbed and tattered in the cabin of a peasant.--_Q.
+Rev._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+REMEMBRANCE.
+
+
+  I recollect my happy home,
+    My pleasures as a child;
+  The forest where I used to roam,
+    The rocks so bleak and wild.
+  That home is tenantless; the spot
+    It graced is rude and bare;
+  The lov'd ones gone, our name forgot.
+    And desolation there.
+
+_Forget Me Not_--1829.
+
+In how many thousand hearts will this lament find an echo!
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+The Gatherer
+
+
+  A snapper up of unconsidered trifles.
+
+SHAKSPEARE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+QUID PRO QUO.
+
+
+A canon of the cathedral of Seville, who was very affected in his dress,
+and particular in his shoes, could not in the whole city find a workman
+to his liking. An unfortunate shoemaker to whom he applied, after
+quitting many others, having brought him a pair of shoes which did not
+please his taste, the canon became furious, and seizing one of the tools
+of the shoemaker, gave him with it so many blows on the head, that the
+poor shoemaker fell dead on the floor. The unhappy man left a widow,
+four daughters, and a son fourteen years of age, the eldest of the
+indigent family. They made their complaints to the chapter; the canon
+was prosecuted, and condemned _not to appear in the choir for a
+year_.
+
+The young shoemaker, having attained to man's estate, was scarcely able
+to get a livelihood; and overwhelmed with wretchedness, sat down on the
+day of a procession at the door of the cathedral of Seville, in the
+moment the procession passed by. Among the other canons he perceived the
+murderer of his father. At the sight of this man, filial affection,
+rage, and despair got so far the better of his reason, that he fell
+furiously on the priest, and stabbed him to the heart. The young man was
+seized, convicted of the crime, and immediately condemned to be
+quartered alive. Peter, whom we call the cruel, and whom the Spaniards,
+with more reason, call the lover of justice, was then at Seville. The
+affair came to his knowledge, and after learning the particulars, he
+determined to be himself the judge of the young shoemaker. When he
+proceeded to give judgment, he first annulled the sentence just
+pronounced by the clergy; and after asking the young man what profession
+he was, "_I forbid you_," said he, "_to make shoes for a year to
+come._"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+When Demetrius conquered the city of Magara, and every thing had been
+plundered by his soldiers, he ordered the philosopher Stilpon to be
+called before him, and asked him whether he had not lost his property in
+this confusion? "No," replied Stilpon, "as all I possess is in my head."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+LORD MAYOR'S DAY.
+
+
+A country gentleman, much averse to city revelry, made the following
+couplet:
+
+  Music hath charms to sooth the savage beast,
+  And therefore proper at a city feast.
+
+
+A city gentleman, who had laid up a store of wealth, replied:--
+
+  The chink of gold with gold, transporting sound!
+    Exceeds the Timbrel, or the Syren's voice
+  Harmonious, when collective plates go round,
+    And Hock and Turtle make the heart rejoice.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+An inveterate sportsman, hearing early his favourite cry of beagles from
+the wood, exclaimed:--
+
+  Hark, friend, what heavenly music meets the ear;
+  Haste, farmer, we shall lose it all, I fear.
+
+
+The rustic, who dreads hounds over his new-sown wheat, replies:--
+
+  Music! I cannot hear it for the noise
+  Of those curs'd dogs, loud shouts, and bellowing boys.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Antigonus, being in his tent, heard two soldiers, who were standing
+outside, speak very disrespectfully of him. After he had listened some
+time, he opened the tent and said to them, "If you wish to speak thus of
+me, you might at least go a little aside."--_Sulzer._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A supplementary number of the Mirror, containing the "_Spirit of the
+Annuals_," with a fine engraving, will be published with our Number
+on Saturday, November 15."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+Purchasers of the Mirror, who may wish to complete their sets are
+informed, that every volume is complete in itself, and may be purchased
+separately. The whole of the numbers are now in print, and can be
+procured by giving an order to any Bookseller or Newsvender.
+
+Complete sets Vol I. to XI. in boards, price L2. 19s. 6d. half bound,
+L3. 17s.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+_LIMBIRD'S EDITIONS_.
+
+Cheap and popular works published at the Mirror office in the Strand,
+near Somerset House.
+
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+  Engravings. Price 6s. 6d. boards.
+  The TALES of the GENII. Price 2s.
+  The MICROCOSM. By the Right Hon. G. Canning. &c. Price 2s.
+  PLUTARCH'S LIVES, with Fifty Portraits, 2 vols. price 13s. boards.
+  COWPER'S POEMS, with 12 Engravings, price 3s. 6d. boards.
+  COOK'S VOYAGES, 2 vols. price 8s. boards.
+  The CABINET of CURIOSITIES: or, WONDERS of the WORLD DISPLAYED.
+  Price 5s. boards.
+  BEAUTIES of SCOTT. 2 vols. price 7s.
+  The ARCANA of SCIENCE for 1828. Price 4s. 6d.
+
+Any of the above Works can be purchased in Parts.
+
+  GOLDSMITH'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.
+  DR. FRANKLIN'S ESSAYS. Price 1s. 2d.
+  BACON'S ESSAYS. Price 8d.
+  SALMAGUNDI. Price 1s. 8d.
+
+
+
+
+
+End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement,
+and Instruction, by Various
+
+*** END OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK MIRROR OF LITERATURE, NO. 339 ***
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