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+*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10475 ***
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+      file which includes the original illustration.
+      See 10475-h.htm or 10475-h.zip:
+      (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h/10475-h.htm)
+      or
+      (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+
+VOL. 12, No. 326.] SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828. [PRICE 2d.
+
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH.
+
+
+Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of
+classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the
+New Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with
+extraordinary zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on
+all sides, but has received the addition of some magnificent public
+edifices, while the access to it from every quarter has been greatly
+facilitated and embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our
+engraving is a mere vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most
+superb of those additions.
+
+The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road
+was long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this
+quarter, the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming
+an approach no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814,
+however, a magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill,
+between which and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was
+formerly occupied with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect
+the hill with Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an
+elegant arch, called _Regent Bridge_, has been thrown over the hollow,
+which makes the descent from the hill into this street easy and
+agreeable. Thus, in place of being carried, as formerly, through long
+and narrow streets, the great road from the east into Edinburgh sweeps
+along the side of the steep and singular elevation of the Calton Hill;
+whence the traveller has first a view of the Old Town, with its elevated
+buildings crowning the summit of the adjacent ridges, and rising upon
+the eye in imposing masses; and, afterwards, of the New Town finely
+contrasted with the Old, in the regularity and elegance of its general
+outline.
+
+_Regent Bridge_ was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is
+semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five
+feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the
+difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The
+roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great
+arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported
+by elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased
+to open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and
+the building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along
+the bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on
+which that memorable battle was fought.
+
+The engraving[1] is an interesting picture of classic beauty; and as the
+"approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New London Bridge are now
+becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope this entrance to our
+metropolis will ultimately present a similar display of architectural
+elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to yield in
+comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that the
+march of taste be quickened in this quarter.
+
+    [1] from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER.
+
+
+  Weep, for the word is spoken--
+    Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd--
+  The master chord is broken,
+    And the master's hand is cold!
+  Romance hath lost her minstrel,
+    No more his magic strain
+  Shall throw a sweeter spell around,
+    The legends of Almaine.
+
+  His fame had flown before him
+    To many a foreign land,
+  His lays are sung by every tongue,
+    And harp'd by every hand!
+  He came to cull fresh laurels,
+    But fate was in their breath,
+  And turn'd his march of triumph
+    Into a dirge of death.
+
+  O! all who knew him lov'd him,
+    For with his mighty mind,
+  He bore himself so meekly,
+    His heart it was so kind!
+  His wildly warbling melodies,
+    The storms that round them roll,
+  Are types of the simplicity
+    And grandeur of his soul.
+
+  Though years of ceaseless suffering
+    Had worn him to a shade,
+  So patient was his spirit,
+    No wayward plaint he made.
+  E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare
+    His victim pure and mild;
+  And stole upon him quietly
+    As slumber o'er a child.
+
+  Weep, for the word is spoken--
+    Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd--
+  The master chord is broken,
+    And the master's hand is cold!
+  The master chord is broken,
+    And the master's hand is cold!
+
+PLANCHE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+YOUNG NAPOLEON.
+
+_(For the Mirror.)_
+
+
+It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future
+destinies of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To
+use the words of the talented author of the _Improvisatrice_, "Poetry
+needs no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be
+uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware
+that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed
+the Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the
+interest of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into
+consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest
+degree, interesting; they serve to display the _man_, divested of the
+"pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot
+be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the
+world never gave him credit for:--_"Posterity will do me justice."_
+
+I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at
+St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was
+carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his
+society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his
+solicitude during the period of seven years, "_For him alone,_" he said,
+"_I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some
+expectations on earth, they are also for him._" He has declared to
+several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on
+his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that
+Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of
+which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection.
+He was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this
+poem which had been circulated, and bought and procured them by every
+means in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable
+not a single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been
+remarked, that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and
+the idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more.
+In neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred."
+
+VYVYAN.
+
+
+TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON.
+
+
+  Delightful image of my much loved boy!
+    Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile!
+  No more, alas! will he enkindle joy,
+    Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile.
+
+  My son! my darling son! wert thou but here,
+    My bosom should receive thy lovely form:
+  Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear:
+    Serenely mild behold the lowering storm.
+
+  I'd be the partner of thy infant cares,
+    And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind;
+  Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years,
+    My wearied soul should an asylum find.
+
+  My wrongs--my cares--should be forgot with thee,
+    My power--imperial dignities--renown--
+  This rock itself would be a heaven to me;
+    Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown.
+
+  O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame
+    Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name.
+
+(Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+
+
+Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son."
+
+
+  O! Cherished image of my infant heir!
+    Thy surface does his lineaments impart:--
+  But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare
+    His living form shall never glad my heart.
+
+  My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer
+    The settled sadness of thy hapless sire!
+  Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear,
+    And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire.
+
+  In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find;
+    With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own:
+  Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind,
+  Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne.
+
+(Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE COLOUR--BLUE.
+
+_(To the Editor of the Mirror.)_
+
+
+Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting _blue_, as
+the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of persons,
+it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that Bentley, in
+his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the costume
+of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5, for his
+authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but
+Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence
+of the passage.
+
+_Twickenham._ H. H.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS.
+
+_(For the Mirror.)_
+
+
+On the trial of _Henry Marshall_, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and
+deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of
+death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was
+immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his
+speech till a few hours preceding his execution.
+
+G. W. N.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+_July, 1736_--Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going armed in
+disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis,
+(reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where,
+having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought
+dead, was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to
+be dug at some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as
+they had put him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he
+thrust back the lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed
+his hands on the sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some
+of the people, in their first surprise, were for knocking him on the
+head; but the executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the
+mob, thinking otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor
+executioner, (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in
+a miserable manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at
+Bayswater, where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of
+blood, and it was thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The
+sheriffs' officers, believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the
+place of execution before he was cut down.
+
+_Sept. 3, 1736._--Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were executed
+this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was perceived to
+have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen and
+others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for,
+immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he
+had the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with
+divers persons he knew, and to all appearance a perfect recovery was
+expected. But notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in
+great agony, his bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his
+rolling from one side to the other.
+
+It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried
+to Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited
+him and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered
+the manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember
+his having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with
+him.
+
+G. K.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+LOVE AND JOY.
+
+AN ALLEGORY.
+
+
+In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants
+descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among
+the most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of
+Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up
+beneath their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all
+nature seemed embellished by their presence; they were inseparable
+companions, and their growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who
+had decreed that a lasting union should be solemnized between them as
+soon as they arrived at mature years. But in the meantime, the sons of
+men deviated from their native innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the
+earth with giant strides; and Astrea with her train of celestial
+visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love alone remained, having
+been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and conveyed by her to the
+forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst the shepherds. But
+Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded him to espouse
+Sorrow, the daughter of Até. He complied with reluctance, for her
+features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead contracted into
+perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a wreath of cypress
+and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom might be traced a
+strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen and unamiable
+features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of the father,
+that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing. The maids
+and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast was
+observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was yet
+an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom.
+She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she
+was beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but
+inexpressibly sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some
+wild and melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep,
+for she took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of
+the hamlet were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in
+among them and captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness.
+She wore on her head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted
+with her mother's cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of
+Helicon, her tears by chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the
+muses' spring has tasted of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter
+to follow the steps of her mother through the world, dropping balm into
+the wounds she made, and binding up the hearts she had broken. She
+follows with her hair loose, her bosom bare and throbbing, her garments
+torn by the briars, and her feet bleeding with the roughness of the
+path. The nymph is mortal, for so is her mother; and when she has
+finished her destined course upon earth, they shall both expire
+together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal and
+long-betrothed bride.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER.
+
+
+ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE.
+
+_(From a Correspondent.)_
+
+
+There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and
+Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not
+visited by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of
+the formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre
+of France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given
+rise, determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the
+neighbourhood. Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of
+Nonnenworth, I made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of
+sixteen miles, passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the
+other white and slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the
+valley of the Rhine narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales
+which the road skirts, are sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly
+covered with vines and fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing
+in the tints of its leaf, and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that
+its thick plantations present, yet there is a stiffness in the
+regularity in which it grows, propped up by sticks; and it is so short,
+that one's fancy as to its luxuriance, (especially if formed from such
+poetry as _Childe Harold_,) is certainly disappointed. I made a
+digression from the road up the little river Aar, which falls into the
+Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture you cannot imagine. The
+stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom rocky, and its banks,
+for a considerable distance, are literally perpendicular rocks. The Aar
+is a perfect specimen of the mountain torrent; it rises in the Eiffel
+mountains; and, I am told, in the winter does much mischief by
+inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh rivulets, particularly some
+parts of the Dee. This _détour_ having taken up more time than I
+expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in time for the supper at the
+rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish wine, and the company of
+an agreeable German tourist who was staying there, made ample amends for
+the fatigues of the day.
+
+In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs
+down from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of
+pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees
+scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of
+which are composed of what is called, in the language of geology,
+_tufa_, and in that of the country, _dukstein_, or _trass_. It is a
+stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it
+assumes a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried
+throughout the valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it
+is in great request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin
+to the trade in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled
+there about a century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower
+part of the mass is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore
+preferred by the quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose
+and sandy, and unfit for use. You must not suppose the stream to be
+clear like the Aar, for it is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same
+colour, being in fact a river of trass in solution. The banks, however,
+are picturesque and well wooded, particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old
+castle of peculiar architecture, built on an elevated rock, and formerly
+belonging to the family of Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is
+surrounded with caverns and halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and
+profusely ornamented with fine oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees.
+You may almost fancy yourself on magic ground, and looking on a fairy
+castle, so peculiar is the effect. I next reached Burgbrohl and
+Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills, for the stone is in many
+places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is a considerable trade in
+them to Holland, and thence to England and other countries. Half an hour
+next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg, one of the hills forming
+the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a magnificent prospect on
+the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood, with the old
+six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel chain
+enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to give me
+a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence to
+the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very
+different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching
+Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to
+withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene
+close under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines
+sometime ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the
+distance to be within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it
+that
+
+  "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view.
+  And robes the mountain in its azure hue."
+
+I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to
+the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain
+plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on
+the eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel
+of the river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks
+entirely. This table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic
+formation, and of a conical form, some of them having central funnels or
+craters, from which the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete
+are the Hirschenberg, near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that
+village and Olburg, the Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which
+last rises about one thousand feet above the level of the surrounding
+surface. There are many others extending for some distance in the Eiffel
+chain and in the vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to
+guide the footsteps of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is
+nearly circular and crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about
+a mile and a quarter in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet,
+but it is full of holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its
+water is blueish, very cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been
+examined by several geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the
+famous Humboldt, and there is no doubt that this great reservoir is the
+crater of an extinct volcano. The fragments and minerals thrown up on
+the banks are analogous to those found in other volcanic countries; and
+on one side (that towards Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued
+lava, which is supposed to have flowed from the crater during the last
+eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks
+it not improbable that this may have been the eruption recorded by
+Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as having ravaged the country of the
+Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of Nero. I should not forget to
+mention that there is a cavern within the basin of the lake, the air of
+which is so stifling and noxious, that animals die if forced to remain
+in it, and lights are extinguished by the gas--phenomena precisely
+similar to those of the well-known Grotto del Cane, near Naples.
+
+While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a
+word on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over
+this country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or,
+Carbal, and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the
+latter district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the
+difference of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial
+soil in the other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a
+deluge, is, I believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it
+is the actual substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm
+paste. The rain has always been observed to fall heavily after
+eruptions, and the water running down the sides of the hills, has formed
+this crust, which makes the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same
+causes are in action now; and if ever the lake should rise so high as to
+burst its banks, it would overflow the whole country, and carry terrible
+destruction with it. Such an event was actually foreseen by the
+sagacious monks who formerly inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal
+nearly a mile long, to give the water vent; and the discharge by it
+continues to this day. The abbey is now untenanted, and is in a
+deplorable state of ruin; it was once celebrated for its hospitality and
+a fine gallery of pictures; all, however, have vanished, and the ruins
+are now the property of M. Delius, a magistrate of Treves. The situation
+is so beautiful, surrounded as it is with fine timber, that one would
+suppose it worth his while to repair the place, particularly as stone is
+so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It forms, however, as it is, a
+picturesque addition to the interest of the excursion to the lake, I
+returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well satisfied with my
+inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to the abbey is
+little more than five miles, and it is one which I would advise all
+tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they be
+geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of.
+Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the
+funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to
+the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us
+that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being
+one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such
+signs of terror.
+
+D.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE SKETCH-BOOK
+
+
+GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE.
+
+_The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles._
+
+
+The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the
+windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted
+with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It
+lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters
+through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the
+surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of
+Bowood on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq.
+Towards the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last
+chalky cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles
+of Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front
+of the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond.
+
+This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and
+descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the
+bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into
+the water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and
+poplars, among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following
+inscription:--"M.S. Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali
+grassante, publicè missus, ipse miserrimè periit--1804. Fratri
+posuit."--Passing round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels,
+which leads to the green in front of the house, where, dipping a small
+slope, the path passes near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on
+the magnificent line of Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought
+could not be well avoided:
+
+  "When in thy sight another's vast domain
+  Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain?
+  Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state
+  Above the lowly, but beneath the great;
+  And still his name with gratitude revere,
+  Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here."
+
+The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn,
+from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a
+dark passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the
+fountain.
+
+The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was
+probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when
+at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the
+farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this
+mitred lord. It has the appearance of being _monastic_, but a more
+ornate capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of
+1688. I must again venture to give the appropriate inscription:--
+
+  "To count the brief and unreturning hours,
+  This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers,
+  Which came forth in their beauty--smiled and died,
+  Blooming and withering round its ancient side.
+  Mortal, thy day is passing--see that flower,
+  And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!"
+
+The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers;
+a step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with
+crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as
+their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey.
+
+The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the
+gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I
+add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by
+the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most
+exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers
+of the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties
+of the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine
+Bingham, being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame
+at the bar. The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy
+his muse whose poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed
+over the large Indian shell:--
+
+  "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar,
+  I drink the whelming tide no more;
+  But in this rock, remote and still,
+  Now serve to pour the murmuring rill.
+  Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept--
+  Oh! like his song, who placed me here,
+  The sweetest song to Memory dear,
+  When life's tumultuous storms are past,
+  May we, to such sweet music, close at last
+  The eyelids that have wept!"
+
+Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic
+stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a
+narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with
+fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on
+which an hour-glass is carved.
+
+A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in
+that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in
+such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless
+pride, tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters,
+distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St.
+John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters,
+Sir Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy--poets as well
+as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North,
+Esq.
+
+Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:--
+
+  "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss
+  Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!"
+
+Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond,
+there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century,
+would have been idolatrous!
+
+To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may
+be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the
+reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen
+the persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return,
+and many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the
+branches of that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let
+us now rest; it stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden
+which we have just perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard,
+and looks on to an old sun-dial, once a _cross_. The _cross_ was found
+broken at its foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I
+have brought the interesting fragment again into light, and placed it
+conspicuously opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I
+think it not unlikely was planted by Townson on his _restoration_. The
+accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four
+steps at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have
+been worn in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling,
+by the forefathers of the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed.
+From a seat near this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and
+battlements of the church, on one side; and on the other you look over a
+great extent of country. On a still summer's evening, the distant sound
+of the hurrying coaches, on the great London road, are heard as they
+pass to and from the metropolis. On this spot this last admonitory
+inscription fronts you:--
+
+  "There lie the village dead, and there too I,
+  When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie.
+  Look round, the distant prospect is display'd,
+  Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade.
+  Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road,
+  But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!"
+
+_History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS.
+
+PAPER MARKS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in
+this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign
+of Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture
+existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a
+paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book
+printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled
+"Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by
+John Tate, jun.
+
+The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they
+gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained,
+though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. _Post_
+paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on
+specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar
+mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open _hand_ is a
+very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is
+considerably altered in size and texture.
+
+_Fool's-Cap_--the name is still continued though the original design of
+a fool's cap is relinquished.
+
+_Pot Paper._--There were various designs of pots or drinking vessels;
+this paper retains its proportions and size according to early
+specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England.
+
+The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper
+with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John
+Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good.
+
+Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will
+or caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other
+non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head
+surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe,
+initials of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th
+century and commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with
+supporters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII.
+
+
+The only alteration in the following is the difference of the
+orthography which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are
+extracts from a curious manuscript, containing directions for the
+household of Henry VIII.
+
+"His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten,
+or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the
+stocks.
+
+"His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables,
+forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's
+houses, where he goes to visit.
+
+"Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie
+all night on the ground before the kitchen fire.
+
+"No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the
+ladies.
+
+"Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four.
+
+"The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging
+or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime.
+
+"The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the
+company of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal
+person.
+
+"There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which
+dishes and other things are often broken!
+
+"The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids.
+
+"The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient
+being allowed to them.
+
+"Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's
+chambers.[2]
+
+"The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale.
+
+"Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds.
+
+"Ordered--that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session of
+parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal
+displeasure."
+
+The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did,
+perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous
+manuscript.
+
+W. H. H.
+
+    [2] Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants
+    to run about to warm themselves with different diversions
+    before going to bed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR.
+
+
+In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard
+_Forthave_, who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented
+"_a vinegar_," which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from
+this it may be concluded that the length of time has caused the above
+corruption. The article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar."
+
+W. H. H.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FISH.
+
+
+Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical
+reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element
+congealed, or a jelly of water."
+
+It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to
+touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should
+not be enough left to regale their sovereign."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION.
+
+
+In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent
+as much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a
+tailor in Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming
+into the shop, liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as
+much for himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion.
+The knight was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to
+cut his gown as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's
+was made "of the same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the
+_gentleman's_ fashion again.
+
+C. F E.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+CONVEYANCING.
+
+
+The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the
+Cave of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary
+and redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in
+Macpelah, which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was
+therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the
+borders round about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a
+modern conveyance cannot well be more minutely characterized.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+SPIRIT OF THE
+PUBLIC JOURNALS
+
+
+THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT.
+
+  "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?"
+
+GAY.
+
+
+  I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance
+  Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science!
+  They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics,
+  And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics.
+
+  They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine,
+  While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring--
+  And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short,
+  With their chemical use of the still and retort.
+
+  Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.)
+  For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-.
+  And to make both ends meet they give little assistance,
+  With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance.
+
+  They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish,
+  Except just the bounds of their own native parish;
+  And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn,
+  While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern.
+
+  Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours,
+  The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers;
+  Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains,
+  And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains.
+
+  They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction--
+  They drive us from home by electric attraction--
+  And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity,
+  I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity.
+
+  When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving,
+  Anatomy leads them to give up the carving;
+  And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy,
+  While they study the line of the _os humeri_.
+
+  If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap,
+  We awake with a din about limestone and trap;
+  And the fire is extinguished past regeneration,
+  For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation.
+
+  'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen,
+  Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen,
+  Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia,
+  And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia.
+
+  The first son becomes half a fool in reality,
+  While the mother is watching his large ideality;
+  And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion,
+  For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution.
+
+  I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning,
+  Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning;
+  The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,--
+  So here's to plain English!--a plague on their ologies!
+
+_London Mag_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE EDITOR'S ROOM.
+
+_July 28, 1828._
+
+
+And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on
+Saturday next?--We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and Pasta
+is going--and Velluti is out of voice--and they are playing tragedies at
+the Haymarket--and Vauxhall will never be dry again--and the Funny Club
+are drenched to their skins every day--and "the sweet shady side of Pall
+Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be dull in the country if this
+weather continue--but not so dirty as upon the Macadam. So go.
+
+We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after
+business. It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland,
+and Turkey, and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish.
+The stocks are rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the
+Squirearchy are beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned.
+That will be a sad drawback from the delights of a two-shilling
+quartern-loaf. For ourselves, we have plenty of work cut out for us, in
+this our abiding place. The fewer the books which are published, the
+more we shall have to draw upon our own genius; and the duller the
+season, the more vivacious must we be to put our readers in spirits. But
+we have consolation approaching in the shape of amusing work.
+Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers will begin to lie,
+"like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious murders, what
+heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the Paddington
+Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's doors!
+We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;--and
+we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if
+they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont
+to do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even
+changing the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown
+themselves when parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own
+hands, and write a "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor
+pretenders to the secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the
+field.--Ibid.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+AWKWARDNESS.
+
+
+Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of
+life. There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the
+smallest approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,--he hobbles, or
+jumps, or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps--but creeping, sidling,
+limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,--he
+fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back
+of it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It
+is the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that
+individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up
+and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at
+an amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees,
+flying like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to
+another, destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good,
+gray kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and
+Willis's shop. The horse begins to gallop--Bless our soul! the gentleman
+will decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like
+a peal of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own
+shoulders, and not poking out between your charger's ears; and your
+horse ought to use _its_ exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very
+cold day, you have cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your
+brows, as if you had run the distance in half the time on foot.
+
+People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step
+into this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of
+such nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had
+breakfasted on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give
+him a shake like a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give
+yourself a rest? Poor man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to
+come! But the other gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered
+his body. Every time my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his
+twig with a few yards of twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a
+whupp," the suddenness of the accelerated motion makes his great, round
+head flop from the centre of his short, thick neck, and come with such
+violence on the unstuffed back, that his hat is sent down upon the
+bridge of his nose with a vehemence which might well nigh carry it away.
+Do you say that man is capable of taking a _pleasure_ ride? Before he
+has been bumped three miles, every pull of wind will be jerked out of
+his body, and by the time he has arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead
+man. If that man prospers in the world, he commits suicide the moment he
+sets up his carriage.
+
+We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of
+thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in
+the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking
+all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal,
+the unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms,
+crouches up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face,
+kicks out his legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes
+back to the place puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's
+burst. Is this dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can
+this be a specimen of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert
+confirmation, which sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow,
+and makes beauty float before our ravished senses, stealing our
+admiration by the gracefulness of each new motion, till at last our
+souls thrill to each warning movement, and dissolve into ecstasy and
+love?
+
+People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman
+might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of
+cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the
+velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its
+tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands
+swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while
+the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism
+detained the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to
+move. After you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze
+it, as if it were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not
+withdraw it to your side, and keep it in the station where nature and
+comfort alike tell you it ought to be? Do you think your breeches'
+pocket the most proper place to push your daddle into? Do you put it
+there to guard the solitary half-crown from the rapacity of your friend;
+or do you put it across your breast in case of an unexpected winder from
+your apparently peaceable acquaintance on the opposite side?
+
+Is it not quite absurd that a man can't even take a glass of wine
+without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at
+breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of
+wine after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The
+egg lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the
+table, you have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating
+nutriment a distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a
+confoundedly small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To
+avoid this, you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have
+to lay it down again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the
+whole, we disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old
+mode at Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and
+purified with a glass of hot rum.
+
+But the glass of wine--can anything be more easy? One would think
+not--but if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend,
+you will see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts
+to do with ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest
+thing in the world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps
+the decanter, leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the
+glittering crystal, which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then
+remark at what an acute angle he holds his right elbow as if he were
+meditating an assault on his neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the
+bottle down again as if his object were to shake the pure ichor, and
+make it muddy as his own brains. Mark how the animal seizes his
+glass,--by heavens he will break it into a thousand fragments! See how
+he bows his lubberly head to meet half way the glorious cargo; how he
+slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning gullet, and chucks down the
+glass so as almost to break its stem after he has emptied it of its
+contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil! Call you that taking a
+glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your gullet as you would put
+small beer into a barrel,--but it is not--oh, no! it is not taking, so
+as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or glowing, warm, tinted,
+beautiful caveza!
+
+A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady,
+perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see
+when they enter the room, how differently they behave.--How gracefully
+she waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and
+beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to
+her on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the
+white of his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle
+dangle on his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how
+he ducks to the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to
+his wife, who, by this time is giving a most spirited account of the
+state of the roads, and the civility of the postilions near the Borders.
+
+Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes
+tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five
+feet eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of
+their back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very
+ground. Let no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of
+ours in Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation
+by a sound which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry
+or a troop of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the
+window, and are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high
+stumping on the pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and
+we stake our credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of
+his majesty's subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height--We mean
+from five feet eleven (our own height) up to six feet three.
+
+Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural,
+and therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall
+man, if he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if
+it be buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling
+and absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and
+leads us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a
+specimen of that rare bird, the flying tailor.
+
+We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is
+famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual
+share, we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid
+view in a troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a
+walking-stick chair is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom
+or ever remain at home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some
+"bushy bourne or mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior
+the female is to the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter
+of an hour after the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to
+start, each with her walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule
+dangling from her wrist. The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with
+their great, heavy Wellingtons, which, after walking half a mile, pinch
+them at the toe, and make the pleasure excursion confine them to the
+house for weeks. Then some fool, the first gate or stile we come to, is
+sure to show off his vaulting, and upsets himself in the ditch on the
+opposite side, instead of going quietly over and helping the damosels
+across. And then, if he does attempt the polite, how awkwardly the
+monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow ditch with a plank across
+it--He goes only half way, and standing in the middle of the plank,
+stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting maiden so forcibly,
+that before he has time to get out of the way, the impetus his own tug
+has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock and nettles,
+which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found at the
+thoroughfares in every field.
+
+We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and
+the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When
+people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly _to
+the object_, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it is
+wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has
+concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly
+loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling
+behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never
+remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the
+_mauvaise honte_ with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered
+souchong? Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband.
+
+Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of
+its own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable
+situation than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not
+in the heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a
+solitary male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion
+appears absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner
+dressed out in satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in
+gingham gowns or calico prints, every morning of your life ever after.
+There she is, supported by her old father, decked out in his
+old-fashioned brown coat, with a wig of the same colour, beautifully
+relieving the burning redness of his huge projecting ears; and the
+mother, puffed up like an overgrown bolster, encouraging the trembling
+girl, and joining her maiden aunts of full fifty years, in telling her
+to take courage, for it is what they must all come to. Bride's-maids and
+mutual friends make up the company; and there, standing out before this
+assemblage, you assent to everything the curate, or, if you are rich
+enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say, shewing your knock-knees
+in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to an admiring bevy of the
+servants of both families, laughing and tittering from the squire's pew
+in the gallery. Then the parting!--The mother's injunctions to the
+juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to write within the
+week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you forgot
+nothing?"--the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of eyes! By
+Hercules!--there is but one situation more unpleasant _in_ this world,
+and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and jailor,
+preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter _out_ of it. The lady
+all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep from
+creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her
+nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of
+delicacy and reserve.
+
+_Blackwood's Magazine_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS.
+
+
+CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS.
+
+(_From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in
+China_.)
+
+
+BURIAL.
+
+No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial
+order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign
+of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the
+empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the
+Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south.
+
+
+THE NEW YEAR.
+
+The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the
+time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the
+greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the
+people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares
+and their labours at the new year.
+
+The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and
+creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are
+abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all
+smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors.
+
+On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals
+of office, throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the
+20th of the first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of
+rest from the ordinary official business of government. They attend,
+however, to extraordinary cases.
+
+During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various
+domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the
+hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires.
+
+On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and
+Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the
+best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down,
+and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the
+ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they
+can, and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit
+all the gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense,
+gilt paper, make bows, and prostrate pray.
+
+These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about
+daylight in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a
+red paper card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In
+the house, sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and
+appear before the heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new
+year.
+
+After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting,
+idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and
+workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the
+necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton,
+generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary
+channel.
+
+
+MEETING THE SPRING.
+
+February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called
+Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters
+the 15º of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring
+season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the
+district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an
+open chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs
+seated among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession.
+
+He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the
+following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar
+style. There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having
+been paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel
+its labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this
+official priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves
+it to the populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces;
+and so the foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this
+ancient usage is supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year.
+
+
+PAWNBROKING.
+
+Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided
+into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior
+walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other
+granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with
+similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the
+government; but there are others, we are informed, that exist without
+this sanction, and are directed to the relief of the mercantile
+interest. These assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of
+an Equitable Loan Company, making advances upon cargoes and large
+deposits of goods.
+
+These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over
+the door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but,
+whether they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of
+property, we will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem,
+with a grace of three months.
+
+
+TORTURE.
+
+In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the
+magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of
+men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small
+apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are
+many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in
+every part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many
+instances of suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured
+till death ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the
+emperor, against a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a
+confession of homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province,
+that on the 24th of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton,
+having received an appointment for his high literary attainments, to the
+magistracy of a Heen district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a
+young man, on his bridal day, to the torture, because he would not
+resign the band of music which he had engaged to accompany, according to
+law and usage, his intended wife to his father's house. The young man's
+name was Kwanfa. He died under the torture, and the affrighted
+magistrate went and hanged himself.
+
+
+CHINESE PRISON.
+
+Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private
+apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and
+fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall,
+till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over,
+the fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have
+not money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is
+every alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of
+punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper)
+to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners
+are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered
+down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth,
+whilst the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This
+place of torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a
+term equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell."
+
+
+TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS.
+
+It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the
+same light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow
+foreigners entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is
+no law against walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the
+Europeans in China to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally
+violate them, and attempt a longer walk. Once round the city walls has
+frequently been effected, but always at the risk of a scuffle, an
+assault and battery, from the idle and mischievous among the native
+population. On former occasions, some of the foreign tourists have
+returned to the factories relieved of the burden of their watches and
+clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage round, robbed of
+his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked.
+
+A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning,
+and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance
+round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards,
+two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but
+they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of
+men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats,
+and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really
+endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about,
+and fight and run alternately the distance of several miles.
+
+We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised
+at the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they
+effected their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on
+their guard; and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar
+scrape, they cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE GATHERER
+
+  "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+
+SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+BAPTISMAL PROMISES.
+
+One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on
+being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of
+qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her,
+said, with much _naiveté_, "I've a yeard that they promised to give me
+hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A GOOD WIFE.
+
+The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble
+family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and
+inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a
+seat belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.--_Taken
+from Mist's Journal_.
+
+"Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir
+devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and
+shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was
+still the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my
+desires, disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in
+apparence above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit,
+sweetly tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech,
+blest with silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave
+fashion to win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex;
+entyre with few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and
+persons in the honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as
+giving the occasion: Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir
+greatest extremity most patient, sending up hir pure soule with many
+zealous prayers and hymnes to hir maker; powring forth hir passionate
+heart with affectionate streams of love to hir"--
+
+"Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time
+his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any
+further.
+
+T. H.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one
+article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by
+no means desirable--_a new drop_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+BRITISH TARS,
+
+Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to
+concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable
+association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote
+will exemplify:--Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some
+of a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in
+London, the words "_Peace and Concord_" figured at full length in
+characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, _Conquered_!" exclaimed an
+honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words;
+"shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '_Conquered_' yet?" and so
+saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil
+explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored
+Peace, and allowed Concord to continue.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+REMEDY FOR DULNESS.
+
+Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a
+thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out
+of company."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+NATIONAL COMPLAINTS.
+
+The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the _French roast beef_; the
+Frenchmen in London complain of the _British brandy_.
+
+The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served
+in the _cavalry_, as they are so expert in _making a charge_.
+
+A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived
+at _Mr. Bailey's, senior_, was shown to the _Old Bailey_, by a
+Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was
+his friend's levee.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+BENEFIT OF CORRECTION.
+
+A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools
+did not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that
+whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a
+boy _smart_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FRENCH AND ENGLISH.
+
+"_C'est la Soupe_," says one of the best of proverbs, "_qui fait le
+Soldat_;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our
+troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact,
+than their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery.
+The English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals,
+by which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt
+to a cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the
+same pot, and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than
+the simple _Rôti_ could ever be.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE FAMILY SUIT.
+
+The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative
+practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform
+him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause
+which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years.
+Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran
+of the law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by
+this suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me,
+and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it
+would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your
+children and grand-children."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+PORK CHOPS.
+
+It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to
+summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other
+grotesque or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the
+feat by supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ARDUOUS BAPTISM.
+
+An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman,
+who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of
+the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual,
+and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How
+difficult this child is to baptize!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+DULL READING.
+
+St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable
+dull reader. "_Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non
+inveniat_."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+_Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near
+Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market,
+Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers._
+
+*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10475 ***
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+      The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+      Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 326, August 9, 1828, by Various
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+<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10475 ***</div>
+    <h1>
+      The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+      Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 326, August 9, 1828, by Various
+    </h1>
+      AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828***
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell,<br /> and the Prooject
+      Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page81" name="page81"></a>[pg 97]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h1>
+      THE MIRROR<br /> OF<br /> LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+    </h1>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <table width="100%">
+      <tr>
+        <td align="left">
+          <b>Vol. 12. No. 326.</b>
+        </td>
+        <td align="center">
+          <b>SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828.</b>
+        </td>
+        <td align="right">
+          <b>[PRICE 2d.</b>
+        </td>
+      </tr>
+    </table>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH.
+    </h2>
+    <div class="figure" style="width:75%;">
+      <a href="images/326-1.png"><img width="75%" src="images/326-1.png" alt="" /></a>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of
+      classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the New
+      Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with extraordinary
+      zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on all sides, but
+      has received the addition of some magnificent public edifices, while the
+      access to it from every quarter has been greatly facilitated and
+      embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our engraving is a mere
+      vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most superb of those
+      additions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road was
+      long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this quarter,
+      the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming an approach
+      no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814, however, a
+      magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill, between which
+      and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was formerly occupied
+      with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect the hill with
+      Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an elegant arch,
+      called <i>Regent Bridge</i>, has been thrown over the hollow, which makes
+      the descent from the hill into this street easy and agreeable. Thus, in
+      place of being carried, as formerly, through long and narrow streets, the
+      great road from <span class="pagenum"><a id="page82" name="page82"></a>[pg
+      82]</span>the east into Edinburgh sweeps along the side of the steep and
+      singular elevation of the Calton Hill; whence the traveller has first a
+      view of the Old Town, with its elevated buildings crowning the summit of
+      the adjacent ridges, and rising upon the eye in imposing masses; and,
+      afterwards, of the New Town finely contrasted with the Old, in the
+      regularity and elegance of its general outline.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Regent Bridge</i> was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is
+      semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five
+      feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the
+      difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The
+      roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great
+      arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported by
+      elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased to
+      open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and the
+      building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along the
+      bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on which
+      that memorable battle was fought.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The engraving<a id="footnotetag1" name="footnotetag1"></a><a
+      href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a> is an interesting picture of classic
+      beauty; and as the "approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New
+      London Bridge are now becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope
+      this entrance to our metropolis will ultimately present a similar display
+      of architectural elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to
+      yield in comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that
+      the march of taste be quickened in this quarter.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Weep, for the word is spoken&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The master chord is broken,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And the master's hand is cold!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Romance hath lost her minstrel,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          No more his magic strain
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Shall throw a sweeter spell around,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The legends of Almaine.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          His fame had flown before him
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          To many a foreign land,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          His lays are sung by every tongue,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And harp'd by every hand!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          He came to cull fresh laurels,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          But fate was in their breath,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And turn'd his march of triumph
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Into a dirge of death.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          O! all who knew him lov'd him,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          For with his mighty mind,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          He bore himself so meekly,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          His heart it was so kind!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          His wildly warbling melodies,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The storms that round them roll,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Are types of the simplicity
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And grandeur of his soul.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Though years of ceaseless suffering
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Had worn him to a shade,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          So patient was his spirit,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          No wayward plaint he made.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          His victim pure and mild;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And stole upon him quietly
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          As slumber o'er a child.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Weep, for the word is spoken&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The master chord is broken,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And the master's hand is cold!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The master chord is broken,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And the master's hand is cold!
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      PLANCHE.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      YOUNG NAPOLEON.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(For the Mirror.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future destinies
+      of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To use the
+      words of the talented author of the <i>Improvisatrice</i>, "Poetry needs
+      no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be
+      uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware
+      that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed the
+      Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the interest
+      of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into
+      consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest
+      degree, interesting; they serve to display the <i>man</i>, divested of the
+      "pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot
+      be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the
+      world never gave him credit for:&mdash;<i>"Posterity will do me justice."</i>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at
+      St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was
+      carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his
+      society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his
+      solicitude during the period of seven years, "<i>For him alone,</i>" he
+      said, "<i>I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some
+      expectations on earth, they are also for him.</i>" He has declared to
+      several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on
+      his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that
+      Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of
+      which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection. He
+      was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this poem
+      which had been circulated, and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page83"
+      name="page83"></a>[pg 83]</span> bought and procured them by every means
+      in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable not a
+      single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been remarked,
+      that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and the
+      idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more. In
+      neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      VYVYAN.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Delightful image of my much loved boy!
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          No more, alas! will he enkindle joy,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          My son! my darling son! wert thou but here,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          My bosom should receive thy lovely form:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear:
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Serenely mild behold the lowering storm.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          I'd be the partner of thy infant cares,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          My wearied soul should an asylum find.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          My wrongs&mdash;my cares&mdash;should be forgot with thee,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          My power&mdash;imperial dignities&mdash;renown&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          This rock itself would be a heaven to me;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      (Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son."
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          O! Cherished image of my infant heir!
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Thy surface does his lineaments impart:&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          His living form shall never glad my heart.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The settled sadness of thy hapless sire!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      (Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE COLOUR&mdash;BLUE.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(To the Editor of the Mirror.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting <i>blue</i>,
+      as the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of
+      persons, it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that
+      Bentley, in his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the
+      costume of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5,
+      for his authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but
+      Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence of
+      the passage.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Twickenham.</i> H. H.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(For the Mirror.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      On the trial of <i>Henry Marshall</i>, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and
+      deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of
+      death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was
+      immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his
+      speech till a few hours preceding his execution.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      G. W. N.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <i>July, 1736</i>&mdash;Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going
+      armed in disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis,
+      (reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where,
+      having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought dead,
+      was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to be dug at
+      some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as they had put
+      him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he thrust back the
+      lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed his hands on the
+      sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some of the people, in
+      their first surprise, were for knocking him on the head; but the
+      executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the mob, thinking
+      otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor executioner,
+      (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in a miserable
+      manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at Bayswater,
+      where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of blood, and it was
+      thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The sheriffs' officers,
+      believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the place of execution
+      before he was cut down.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Sept. 3, 1736.</i>&mdash;Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were
+      executed this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was
+      perceived to have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen
+      and others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for,
+      immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he had
+      the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with divers
+      persons he knew, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page84" name="page84"></a>[pg
+      84]</span> and to all appearance a perfect recovery was expected. But
+      notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in great agony, his
+      bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his rolling from one side
+      to the other.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried to
+      Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited him
+      and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered the
+      manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember his
+      having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      G. K.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      LOVE AND JOY.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      AN ALLEGORY.
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants
+      descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among the
+      most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of
+      Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up beneath
+      their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all nature seemed
+      embellished by their presence; they were inseparable companions, and their
+      growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who had decreed that a lasting
+      union should be solemnized between them as soon as they arrived at mature
+      years. But in the meantime, the sons of men deviated from their native
+      innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the earth with giant strides; and Astrea
+      with her train of celestial visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love
+      alone remained, having been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and
+      conveyed by her to the forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst
+      the shepherds. But Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded
+      him to espouse Sorrow, the daughter of At&eacute;. He complied with
+      reluctance, for her features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead
+      contracted into perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a
+      wreath of cypress and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom
+      might be traced a strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen
+      and unamiable features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of
+      the father, that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing.
+      The maids and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast
+      was observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was
+      yet an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom.
+      She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she was
+      beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but inexpressibly
+      sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some wild and
+      melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep, for she
+      took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of the hamlet
+      were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in among them and
+      captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness. She wore on her
+      head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted with her mother's
+      cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of Helicon, her tears by
+      chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the muses' spring has tasted
+      of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter to follow the steps of her
+      mother through the world, dropping balm into the wounds she made, and
+      binding up the hearts she had broken. She follows with her hair loose, her
+      bosom bare and throbbing, her garments torn by the briars, and her feet
+      bleeding with the roughness of the path. The nymph is mortal, for so is
+      her mother; and when she has finished her destined course upon earth, they
+      shall both expire together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal
+      and long-betrothed bride.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER.
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(From a Correspondent.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and
+      Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not visited
+      by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of the
+      formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre of
+      France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given rise,
+      determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the neighbourhood.
+      Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of Nonnenworth, I
+      made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of sixteen miles,
+      passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the other white and
+      slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the valley of the Rhine
+      narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales which the road skirts, are
+      sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly covered with vines and
+      fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing in the tints of its leaf,
+      and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that its thick plantations
+      present, yet there is a stiffness in the regularity <span class="pagenum"><a
+      id="page85" name="page85"></a>[pg 85]</span> in which it grows, propped up
+      by sticks; and it is so short, that one's fancy as to its luxuriance,
+      (especially if formed from such poetry as <i>Childe Harold</i>,) is
+      certainly disappointed. I made a digression from the road up the little
+      river Aar, which falls into the Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture
+      you cannot imagine. The stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom
+      rocky, and its banks, for a considerable distance, are literally
+      perpendicular rocks. The Aar is a perfect specimen of the mountain
+      torrent; it rises in the Eiffel mountains; and, I am told, in the winter
+      does much mischief by inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh
+      rivulets, particularly some parts of the Dee. This <i>d&eacute;tour</i>
+      having taken up more time than I expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in
+      time for the supper at the rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish
+      wine, and the company of an agreeable German tourist who was staying
+      there, made ample amends for the fatigues of the day.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs down
+      from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of
+      pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees
+      scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of which
+      are composed of what is called, in the language of geology, <i>tufa</i>,
+      and in that of the country, <i>dukstein</i>, or <i>trass</i>. It is a
+      stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it assumes
+      a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried throughout the
+      valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it is in great
+      request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin to the trade
+      in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled there about a
+      century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower part of the mass
+      is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore preferred by the
+      quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose and sandy, and unfit
+      for use. You must not suppose the stream to be clear like the Aar, for it
+      is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same colour, being in fact a river
+      of trass in solution. The banks, however, are picturesque and well wooded,
+      particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old castle of peculiar architecture,
+      built on an elevated rock, and formerly belonging to the family of
+      Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is surrounded with caverns and
+      halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and profusely ornamented with fine
+      oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees. You may almost fancy yourself on
+      magic ground, and looking on a fairy castle, so peculiar is the effect. I
+      next reached Burgbrohl and Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills,
+      for the stone is in many places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is
+      a considerable trade in them to Holland, and thence to England and other
+      countries. Half an hour next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg,
+      one of the hills forming the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a
+      magnificent prospect on the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood,
+      with the old six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel
+      chain enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to
+      give me a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence
+      to the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very
+      different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching
+      Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to
+      withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene close
+      under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines sometime
+      ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the distance to be
+      within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it that
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And robes the mountain in its azure hue."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to
+      the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain
+      plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on the
+      eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel of the
+      river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks entirely. This
+      table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic formation, and of a
+      conical form, some of them having central funnels or craters, from which
+      the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete are the Hirschenberg,
+      near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that village and Olburg, the
+      Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which last rises about one
+      thousand feet above the level of the surrounding surface. There are many
+      others extending for some distance in the Eiffel chain and in the
+      vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to guide the footsteps
+      of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is nearly circular and
+      crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about a mile and a quarter
+      in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet, but it is full of
+      holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its water is blueish, very
+      cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been examined by several
+      geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the <span class="pagenum"><a
+      id="page86" name="page86"></a>[pg 86]</span> famous Humboldt, and there is
+      no doubt that this great reservoir is the crater of an extinct volcano.
+      The fragments and minerals thrown up on the banks are analogous to those
+      found in other volcanic countries; and on one side (that towards
+      Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued lava, which is supposed to
+      have flowed from the crater during the last eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose
+      opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks it not improbable that this
+      may have been the eruption recorded by Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as
+      having ravaged the country of the Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of
+      Nero. I should not forget to mention that there is a cavern within the
+      basin of the lake, the air of which is so stifling and noxious, that
+      animals die if forced to remain in it, and lights are extinguished by the
+      gas&mdash;phenomena precisely similar to those of the well-known Grotto
+      del Cane, near Naples.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a word
+      on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over this
+      country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or, Carbal,
+      and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the latter
+      district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the difference
+      of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial soil in the
+      other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a deluge, is, I
+      believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it is the actual
+      substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm paste. The rain has
+      always been observed to fall heavily after eruptions, and the water
+      running down the sides of the hills, has formed this crust, which makes
+      the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same causes are in action now; and
+      if ever the lake should rise so high as to burst its banks, it would
+      overflow the whole country, and carry terrible destruction with it. Such
+      an event was actually foreseen by the sagacious monks who formerly
+      inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal nearly a mile long, to give the
+      water vent; and the discharge by it continues to this day. The abbey is
+      now untenanted, and is in a deplorable state of ruin; it was once
+      celebrated for its hospitality and a fine gallery of pictures; all,
+      however, have vanished, and the ruins are now the property of M. Delius, a
+      magistrate of Treves. The situation is so beautiful, surrounded as it is
+      with fine timber, that one would suppose it worth his while to repair the
+      place, particularly as stone is so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It
+      forms, however, as it is, a picturesque addition to the interest of the
+      excursion to the lake, I returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well
+      satisfied with my inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to
+      the abbey is little more than five miles, and it is one which I would
+      advise all tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they
+      be geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of.
+      Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the
+      funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to
+      the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us
+      that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being
+      one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such
+      signs of terror.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      D.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      THE SKETCH-BOOK
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles.</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the
+      windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted
+      with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It
+      lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters
+      through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the
+      surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of Bowood
+      on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq. Towards
+      the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last chalky
+      cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles of
+      Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front of
+      the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and
+      descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the
+      bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into the
+      water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and poplars,
+      among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following inscription:&mdash;"M.S.
+      Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali grassante, public&egrave;
+      missus, ipse miserrim&egrave; periit&mdash;1804. Fratri posuit."&mdash;Passing
+      round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels, which leads to the
+      green in front of the house, where, dipping a small slope, the path passes
+      near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on the magnificent line
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page87" name="page87"></a>[pg 87]</span>of
+      Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought could not be well
+      avoided:
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "When in thy sight another's vast domain
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain?
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Above the lowly, but beneath the great;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And still his name with gratitude revere,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn,
+      from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a dark
+      passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the
+      fountain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was
+      probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when
+      at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the
+      farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this mitred
+      lord. It has the appearance of being <i>monastic</i>, but a more ornate
+      capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of 1688. I must
+      again venture to give the appropriate inscription:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "To count the brief and unreturning hours,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Which came forth in their beauty&mdash;smiled and died,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Blooming and withering round its ancient side.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Mortal, thy day is passing&mdash;see that flower,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers; a
+      step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with
+      crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as
+      their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the
+      gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I
+      add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by
+      the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most
+      exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers of
+      the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties of
+      the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine Bingham,
+      being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame at the bar.
+      The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy his muse whose
+      poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed over the large
+      Indian shell:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          I drink the whelming tide no more;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          But in this rock, remote and still,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Now serve to pour the murmuring rill.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Oh! like his song, who placed me here,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The sweetest song to Memory dear,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          When life's tumultuous storms are past,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          May we, to such sweet music, close at last
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The eyelids that have wept!"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic
+      stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a
+      narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with
+      fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on
+      which an hour-glass is carved.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in
+      that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in
+      such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless pride,
+      tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters,
+      distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St.
+      John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters, Sir
+      Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy&mdash;poets as well
+      as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North,
+      Esq.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond,
+      there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century,
+      would have been idolatrous!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may
+      be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the
+      reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen the
+      persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return, and
+      many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the branches of
+      that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let us now rest; it
+      stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden which we have just
+      perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard, and looks on to an old
+      sun-dial, once a <i>cross</i>. The <i>cross</i> was found broken at its
+      foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I have brought the
+      interesting fragment again into light, and placed it conspicuously
+      opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I think it not
+      unlikely was planted by Townson on his <i>restoration</i>. The
+      accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four steps
+      at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have been worn
+      in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling, by the
+      forefathers of <span class="pagenum"><a id="page88" name="page88"></a>[pg
+      88]</span> the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed. From a seat near
+      this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and battlements of the church,
+      on one side; and on the other you look over a great extent of country. On
+      a still summer's evening, the distant sound of the hurrying coaches, on
+      the great London road, are heard as they pass to and from the metropolis.
+      On this spot this last admonitory inscription fronts you:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "There lie the village dead, and there too I,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Look round, the distant prospect is display'd,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <i>History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles.</i>
+    </h4>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS.
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      PAPER MARKS.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="figure" style="width:75%;">
+      <a href="images/326-2.png"><img width="75%" src="images/326-2.png" alt="" /></a>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in
+      this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign of
+      Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture
+      existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a
+      paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book
+      printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled
+      "Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by
+      John Tate, jun.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they
+      gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained,
+      though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. <i>Post</i>
+      paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on
+      specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar
+      mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open <i>hand</i> is a
+      very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is
+      considerably altered in size and texture.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Fool's-Cap</i>&mdash;the name is still continued though the original
+      design of a fool's cap is relinquished.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page89" name="page89"></a>[pg 89]</span>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Pot Paper.</i>&mdash;There were various designs of pots or drinking
+      vessels; this paper retains its proportions and size according to early
+      specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper
+      with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John
+      Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will or
+      caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other
+      non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head
+      surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe, initials
+      of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th century and
+      commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with supporters.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The only alteration in the following is the difference of the orthography
+      which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are extracts from
+      a curious manuscript, containing directions for the household of
+      HenryVIII.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten,
+      or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the
+      stocks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables,
+      forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's houses,
+      where he goes to visit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie
+      all night on the ground before the kitchen fire.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the ladies.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging
+      or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the company
+      of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal person.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which
+      dishes and other things are often broken!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient being
+      allowed to them.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's chambers.<a
+      id="footnotetag2" name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Ordered&mdash;that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session
+      of parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal
+      displeasure."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did,
+      perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous
+      manuscript.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      W. H. H.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard <i>Forthave</i>,
+      who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented "<i>a vinegar</i>,"
+      which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from this it may be
+      concluded that the length of time has caused the above corruption. The
+      article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      W. H. H.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      FISH.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical
+      reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element
+      congealed, or a jelly of water."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to
+      touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should not
+      be enough left to regale their sovereign."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent as
+      much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a tailor in
+      Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming into the shop,
+      liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as much for
+      himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion. The knight
+      was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to cut his gown
+      as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's was made "of the
+      same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the <i>gentleman's</i>
+      fashion again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      C. F E.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      CONVEYANCING.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the
+      Cave <span class="pagenum"><a id="page90" name="page90"></a>[pg 90]</span>
+      of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary and
+      redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in Macpelah,
+      which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was therein, and
+      all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the borders round
+      about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a modern conveyance
+      cannot well be more minutely characterized.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h2>
+      SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      GAY.
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          With their chemical use of the still and retort.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.)
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And to make both ends meet they give little assistance,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Except just the bounds of their own native parish;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          They drive us from home by electric attraction&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Anatomy leads them to give up the carving;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          While they study the line of the <i>os humeri</i>.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          We awake with a din about limestone and trap;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And the fire is extinguished past regeneration,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          The first son becomes half a fool in reality,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          While the mother is watching his large ideality;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          So here's to plain English!&mdash;a plague on their ologies!
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>London Mag.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE EDITOR'S ROOM.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      <i>July 28, 1828.</i>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on
+      Saturday next?&mdash;We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and
+      Pasta is going&mdash;and Velluti is out of voice&mdash;and they are
+      playing tragedies at the Haymarket&mdash;and Vauxhall will never be dry
+      again&mdash;and the Funny Club are drenched to their skins every day&mdash;and
+      "the sweet shady side of Pall Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be
+      dull in the country if this weather continue&mdash;but not so dirty as
+      upon the Macadam. So go.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after business.
+      It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland, and Turkey,
+      and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish. The stocks are
+      rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the Squirearchy are
+      beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned. That will be a sad
+      drawback from the delights of a two-shilling quartern-loaf. For ourselves,
+      we have plenty of work cut out for us, in this our abiding place. The
+      fewer the books which are published, the more we shall have to draw upon
+      our own genius; and the duller the season, the more vivacious must we be
+      to put our readers in spirits. But we have consolation approaching in the
+      shape of amusing work. Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers
+      will begin to lie, "like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious
+      murders, what heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the
+      Paddington Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's
+      doors! We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;&mdash;and
+      we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if
+      they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont to
+      do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even changing
+      the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown themselves when
+      parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own hands, and write a
+      "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor pretenders <span
+      class="pagenum"><a id="page91" name="page91"></a>[pg 91]</span> to the
+      secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the field.&mdash;Ibid.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      AWKWARDNESS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of life.
+      There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the smallest
+      approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,&mdash;he hobbles, or jumps,
+      or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps&mdash;but creeping, sidling,
+      limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,&mdash;he
+      fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back of
+      it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It is
+      the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that
+      individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up
+      and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at an
+      amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees, flying
+      like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to another,
+      destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good, gray
+      kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and Willis's
+      shop. The horse begins to gallop&mdash;Bless our soul! the gentleman will
+      decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like a peal
+      of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own shoulders, and
+      not poking out between your charger's ears; and your horse ought to use <i>its</i>
+      exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very cold day, you have
+      cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your brows, as if you had
+      run the distance in half the time on foot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step into
+      this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of such
+      nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had breakfasted
+      on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give him a shake like
+      a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give yourself a rest? Poor
+      man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to come! But the other
+      gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered his body. Every time
+      my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his twig with a few yards of
+      twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a whupp," the suddenness of
+      the accelerated motion makes his great, round head flop from the centre of
+      his short, thick neck, and come with such violence on the unstuffed back,
+      that his hat is sent down upon the bridge of his nose with a vehemence
+      which might well nigh carry it away. Do you say that man is capable of
+      taking a <i>pleasure</i> ride? Before he has been bumped three miles,
+      every pull of wind will be jerked out of his body, and by the time he has
+      arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead man. If that man prospers in the
+      world, he commits suicide the moment he sets up his carriage.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of
+      thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in
+      the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking
+      all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal, the
+      unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms, crouches
+      up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face, kicks out his
+      legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes back to the place
+      puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's burst. Is this
+      dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can this be a specimen
+      of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert confirmation, which
+      sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow, and makes beauty float
+      before our ravished senses, stealing our admiration by the gracefulness of
+      each new motion, till at last our souls thrill to each warning movement,
+      and dissolve into ecstasy and love?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman
+      might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of
+      cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the
+      velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its
+      tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands
+      swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while
+      the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism detained
+      the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to move. After
+      you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze it, as if it
+      were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not withdraw it to your
+      side, and keep it in the station where nature and comfort alike tell you
+      it ought to be? Do you think your breeches' pocket the most proper place
+      to push your daddle into? Do you put it there to guard the solitary
+      half-crown from the rapacity of your friend; or do you put it across your
+      breast in case of an unexpected winder from your apparently peaceable
+      acquaintance on the opposite side?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Is it not quite absurd that a man can't <span class="pagenum"><a
+      id="page92" name="page92"></a>[pg 92]</span> even take a glass of wine
+      without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at
+      breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of wine
+      after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The egg
+      lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the table, you
+      have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating nutriment a
+      distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a confoundedly
+      small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To avoid this,
+      you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have to lay it down
+      again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the whole, we
+      disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old mode at
+      Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and purified
+      with a glass of hot rum.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But the glass of wine&mdash;can anything be more easy? One would think not&mdash;but
+      if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend, you will
+      see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts to do with
+      ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest thing in the
+      world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps the decanter,
+      leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the glittering crystal,
+      which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then remark at what an acute
+      angle he holds his right elbow as if he were meditating an assault on his
+      neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the bottle down again as if his
+      object were to shake the pure ichor, and make it muddy as his own brains.
+      Mark how the animal seizes his glass,&mdash;by heavens he will break it
+      into a thousand fragments! See how he bows his lubberly head to meet half
+      way the glorious cargo; how he slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning
+      gullet, and chucks down the glass so as almost to break its stem after he
+      has emptied it of its contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil!
+      Call you that taking a glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your
+      gullet as you would put small beer into a barrel,&mdash;but it is not&mdash;oh,
+      no! it is not taking, so as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or
+      glowing, warm, tinted, beautiful caveza!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady,
+      perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see when
+      they enter the room, how differently they behave.&mdash;How gracefully she
+      waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and
+      beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to her
+      on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the white of
+      his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle dangle on
+      his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how he ducks to
+      the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to his wife, who,
+      by this time is giving a most spirited account of the state of the roads,
+      and the civility of the postilions near the Borders.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes
+      tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five feet
+      eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of their
+      back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very ground. Let
+      no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of ours in
+      Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation by a sound
+      which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry or a troop
+      of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the window, and
+      are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high stumping on the
+      pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and we stake our
+      credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of his majesty's
+      subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height&mdash;We mean from five feet
+      eleven (our own height) up to six feet three.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural, and
+      therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall man, if
+      he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if it be
+      buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling and
+      absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and leads
+      us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a specimen of
+      that rare bird, the flying tailor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is
+      famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual share,
+      we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid view in a
+      troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a walking-stick chair
+      is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom or ever remain at
+      home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some "bushy bourne or
+      mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior the female is to
+      the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter of an hour after
+      the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to start, each with her
+      walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule dangling from her wrist.
+      The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with their great, heavy
+      Wellingtons, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page93" name="page93"></a>[pg 93]</span>
+      which, after walking half a mile, pinch them at the toe, and make the
+      pleasure excursion confine them to the house for weeks. Then some fool,
+      the first gate or stile we come to, is sure to show off his vaulting, and
+      upsets himself in the ditch on the opposite side, instead of going quietly
+      over and helping the damosels across. And then, if he does attempt the
+      polite, how awkwardly the monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow
+      ditch with a plank across it&mdash;He goes only half way, and standing in
+      the middle of the plank, stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting
+      maiden so forcibly, that before he has time to get out of the way, the
+      impetus his own tug has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock
+      and nettles, which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found
+      at the thoroughfares in every field.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and
+      the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When
+      people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly <i>to
+      the object</i>, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it
+      is wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has
+      concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly
+      loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling
+      behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never
+      remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the <i>mauvaise
+      honte</i> with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered souchong?
+      Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of its
+      own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable situation
+      than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not in the
+      heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a solitary
+      male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion appears
+      absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner dressed out in
+      satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in gingham gowns or
+      calico prints, every morning of your life ever after. There she is,
+      supported by her old father, decked out in his old-fashioned brown coat,
+      with a wig of the same colour, beautifully relieving the burning redness
+      of his huge projecting ears; and the mother, puffed up like an overgrown
+      bolster, encouraging the trembling girl, and joining her maiden aunts of
+      full fifty years, in telling her to take courage, for it is what they must
+      all come to. Bride's-maids and mutual friends make up the company; and
+      there, standing out before this assemblage, you assent to everything the
+      curate, or, if you are rich enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say,
+      shewing your knock-knees in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to
+      an admiring bevy of the servants of both families, laughing and tittering
+      from the squire's pew in the gallery. Then the parting!&mdash;The mother's
+      injunctions to the juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to
+      write within the week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you
+      forgot nothing?"&mdash;the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of
+      eyes! By Hercules!&mdash;there is but one situation more unpleasant <i>in</i>
+      this world, and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and
+      jailor, preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter <i>out</i> of it.
+      The lady all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep
+      from creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her
+      nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of
+      delicacy and reserve.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Blackwood's Magazine.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      MANNERS &amp; CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS.
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in
+      China.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <h3>
+      BURIAL.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial
+      order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign
+      of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the
+      empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the
+      Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      THE NEW YEAR.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the
+      time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the
+      greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the
+      people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares
+      and their labours at the new year.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and
+      creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are
+      abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all
+      smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals of
+      office, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page94" name="page94"></a>[pg 94]</span>
+      throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the 20th of the
+      first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of rest from the
+      ordinary official business of government. They attend, however, to
+      extraordinary cases.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various
+      domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the
+      hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and
+      Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the
+      best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down,
+      and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the
+      ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they can,
+      and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit all the
+      gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense, gilt
+      paper, make bows, and prostrate pray.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about daylight
+      in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a red paper
+      card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In the house,
+      sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and appear before the
+      heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new year.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting,
+      idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and
+      workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the
+      necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton,
+      generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary
+      channel.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      MEETING THE SPRING.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called
+      Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters the
+      15&ordm; of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring
+      season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the
+      district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an open
+      chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs seated
+      among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the
+      following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar style.
+      There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having been
+      paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel its
+      labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this official
+      priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves it to the
+      populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces; and so the
+      foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this ancient usage is
+      supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      PAWNBROKING.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided
+      into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior
+      walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other
+      granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with
+      similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the government;
+      but there are others, we are informed, that exist without this sanction,
+      and are directed to the relief of the mercantile interest. These
+      assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of an Equitable Loan
+      Company, making advances upon cargoes and large deposits of goods.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over the
+      door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but, whether
+      they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of property, we
+      will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem, with a grace
+      of three months.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      TORTURE.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the
+      magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of
+      men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small
+      apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are
+      many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in every
+      part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many instances of
+      suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured till death
+      ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the emperor, against
+      a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a confession of
+      homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province, that on the 24th
+      of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton, having received an
+      appointment for his high literary attainments, to the magistracy of a Heen
+      district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a young man, on his bridal
+      day, to the torture, because he would not resign the band of music which
+      he had engaged to accompany, according to law and usage, his intended wife
+      to his father's house. The young <span class="pagenum"><a id="page95"
+      name="page95"></a>[pg 95]</span> man's name was Kwanfa. He died under the
+      torture, and the affrighted magistrate went and hanged himself.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      CHINESE PRISON.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private
+      apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and
+      fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall,
+      till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over, the
+      fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have not
+      money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is every
+      alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of
+      punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper)
+      to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners
+      are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered
+      down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth, whilst
+      the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This place of
+      torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a term
+      equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell."
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the same
+      light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow foreigners
+      entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is no law against
+      walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the Europeans in China
+      to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally violate them, and attempt
+      a longer walk. Once round the city walls has frequently been effected, but
+      always at the risk of a scuffle, an assault and battery, from the idle and
+      mischievous among the native population. On former occasions, some of the
+      foreign tourists have returned to the factories relieved of the burden of
+      their watches and clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage
+      round, robbed of his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning,
+      and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance
+      round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards,
+      two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but
+      they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of
+      men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats,
+      and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really
+      endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about, and
+      fight and run alternately the distance of several miles.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised at
+      the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they effected
+      their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on their guard;
+      and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar scrape, they
+      cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      THE GATHERER
+    </h2>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      SHAKSPEARE.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      BAPTISMAL PROMISES.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on
+      being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of
+      qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her, said,
+      with much <i>naivet&eacute;</i>, "I've a yeard that they promised to give
+      me hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      A GOOD WIFE.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble
+      family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and
+      inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a seat
+      belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.&mdash;<i>Taken
+      from Mist's Journal</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir
+      devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and
+      shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was still
+      the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my desires,
+      disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in apparence
+      above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit, sweetly
+      tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech, blest with
+      silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave fashion to
+      win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex; entyre with
+      few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and persons in the
+      honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as giving the occasion:
+      Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir greatest extremity most
+      patient, sending up hir pure soule with many zealous prayers and hymnes to
+      hir maker; powring forth hir passionate heart with affectionate streams of
+      love to hir"&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page96" name="page96"></a>[pg 96]</span>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time
+      his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any further.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      T. H.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one
+      article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by
+      no means desirable&mdash;<i>a new drop</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      BRITISH TARS,
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to
+      concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable
+      association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote will
+      exemplify:&mdash;Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some of
+      a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in
+      London, the words "<i>Peace and Concord</i>" figured at full length in
+      characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, <i>Conquered</i>!" exclaimed
+      an honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words;
+      "shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '<i>Conquered</i>' yet?" and
+      so saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil
+      explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored
+      Peace, and allowed Concord to continue.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      REMEDY FOR DULNESS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a
+      thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out of
+      company."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      NATIONAL COMPLAINTS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the <i>French roast beef</i>; the
+      Frenchmen in London complain of the <i>British brandy</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served
+      in the <i>cavalry</i>, as they are so expert in <i>making a charge</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived at
+      <i>Mr. Bailey's, senior</i>, was shown to the <i>Old Bailey</i>, by a
+      Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was his
+      friend's levee.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      BENEFIT OF CORRECTION.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools did
+      not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that
+      whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a boy
+      <i>smart</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      FRENCH AND ENGLISH.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      "<i>C'est la Soupe</i>," says one of the best of proverbs, "<i>qui fait le
+      Soldat</i>;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our
+      troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact, than
+      their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery. The
+      English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals, by
+      which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt to a
+      cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the same pot,
+      and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than the simple <i>R&ocirc;ti</i>
+      could ever be.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE FAMILY SUIT.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative
+      practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform
+      him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause
+      which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years. Instead
+      of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran of the
+      law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by this
+      suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me, and to
+      portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it would have
+      furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your children and
+      grand-children."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      PORK CHOPS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to
+      summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other grotesque
+      or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the feat by
+      supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ARDUOUS BAPTISM.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman,
+      who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of
+      the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual,
+      and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How
+      difficult this child is to baptize!"
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      DULL READING.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable
+      dull reader. "<i>Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non inveniat</i>."
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <p>
+        <a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a> <b>Footnote 1</b>: <a
+        href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a>
+      </p>
+      <p>
+        from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <p>
+        <a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a> <b>Footnote 2</b>: <a
+        href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a>
+      </p>
+      <p>
+        Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants to run about to
+        warm themselves with different diversions before going to bed.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <i>Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near
+      Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market,
+      Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+  <div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10475 ***</div>
+</body>
+</html>
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+This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements,
+metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be
+in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES.
+
+Procedures for determining public domain status are described in
+the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org.
+
+No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in
+jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize
+this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright
+status under the laws that apply to them.
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+Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for
+eBook #10475 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/10475)
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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 326, August 9, 1828, by Various
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12,
+Issue 326, August 9, 1828
+
+Author: Various
+
+Release Date: December 16, 2003  [eBook #10475]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: iso-8859-1
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE,
+AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell, and the Prooject
+Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+      file which includes the original illustration.
+      See 10475-h.htm or 10475-h.zip:
+      (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h/10475-h.htm)
+      or
+      (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+
+VOL. 12, No. 326.] SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828. [PRICE 2d.
+
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH.
+
+
+Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of
+classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the
+New Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with
+extraordinary zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on
+all sides, but has received the addition of some magnificent public
+edifices, while the access to it from every quarter has been greatly
+facilitated and embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our
+engraving is a mere vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most
+superb of those additions.
+
+The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road
+was long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this
+quarter, the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming
+an approach no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814,
+however, a magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill,
+between which and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was
+formerly occupied with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect
+the hill with Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an
+elegant arch, called _Regent Bridge_, has been thrown over the hollow,
+which makes the descent from the hill into this street easy and
+agreeable. Thus, in place of being carried, as formerly, through long
+and narrow streets, the great road from the east into Edinburgh sweeps
+along the side of the steep and singular elevation of the Calton Hill;
+whence the traveller has first a view of the Old Town, with its elevated
+buildings crowning the summit of the adjacent ridges, and rising upon
+the eye in imposing masses; and, afterwards, of the New Town finely
+contrasted with the Old, in the regularity and elegance of its general
+outline.
+
+_Regent Bridge_ was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is
+semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five
+feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the
+difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The
+roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great
+arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported
+by elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased
+to open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and
+the building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along
+the bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on
+which that memorable battle was fought.
+
+The engraving[1] is an interesting picture of classic beauty; and as the
+"approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New London Bridge are now
+becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope this entrance to our
+metropolis will ultimately present a similar display of architectural
+elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to yield in
+comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that the
+march of taste be quickened in this quarter.
+
+    [1] from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER.
+
+
+  Weep, for the word is spoken--
+    Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd--
+  The master chord is broken,
+    And the master's hand is cold!
+  Romance hath lost her minstrel,
+    No more his magic strain
+  Shall throw a sweeter spell around,
+    The legends of Almaine.
+
+  His fame had flown before him
+    To many a foreign land,
+  His lays are sung by every tongue,
+    And harp'd by every hand!
+  He came to cull fresh laurels,
+    But fate was in their breath,
+  And turn'd his march of triumph
+    Into a dirge of death.
+
+  O! all who knew him lov'd him,
+    For with his mighty mind,
+  He bore himself so meekly,
+    His heart it was so kind!
+  His wildly warbling melodies,
+    The storms that round them roll,
+  Are types of the simplicity
+    And grandeur of his soul.
+
+  Though years of ceaseless suffering
+    Had worn him to a shade,
+  So patient was his spirit,
+    No wayward plaint he made.
+  E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare
+    His victim pure and mild;
+  And stole upon him quietly
+    As slumber o'er a child.
+
+  Weep, for the word is spoken--
+    Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd--
+  The master chord is broken,
+    And the master's hand is cold!
+  The master chord is broken,
+    And the master's hand is cold!
+
+PLANCHE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+YOUNG NAPOLEON.
+
+_(For the Mirror.)_
+
+
+It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future
+destinies of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To
+use the words of the talented author of the _Improvisatrice_, "Poetry
+needs no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be
+uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware
+that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed
+the Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the
+interest of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into
+consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest
+degree, interesting; they serve to display the _man_, divested of the
+"pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot
+be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the
+world never gave him credit for:--_"Posterity will do me justice."_
+
+I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at
+St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was
+carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his
+society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his
+solicitude during the period of seven years, "_For him alone,_" he said,
+"_I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some
+expectations on earth, they are also for him._" He has declared to
+several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on
+his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that
+Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of
+which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection.
+He was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this
+poem which had been circulated, and bought and procured them by every
+means in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable
+not a single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been
+remarked, that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and
+the idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more.
+In neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred."
+
+VYVYAN.
+
+
+TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON.
+
+
+  Delightful image of my much loved boy!
+    Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile!
+  No more, alas! will he enkindle joy,
+    Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile.
+
+  My son! my darling son! wert thou but here,
+    My bosom should receive thy lovely form:
+  Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear:
+    Serenely mild behold the lowering storm.
+
+  I'd be the partner of thy infant cares,
+    And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind;
+  Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years,
+    My wearied soul should an asylum find.
+
+  My wrongs--my cares--should be forgot with thee,
+    My power--imperial dignities--renown--
+  This rock itself would be a heaven to me;
+    Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown.
+
+  O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame
+    Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name.
+
+(Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+
+
+Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son."
+
+
+  O! Cherished image of my infant heir!
+    Thy surface does his lineaments impart:--
+  But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare
+    His living form shall never glad my heart.
+
+  My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer
+    The settled sadness of thy hapless sire!
+  Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear,
+    And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire.
+
+  In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find;
+    With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own:
+  Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind,
+  Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne.
+
+(Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE COLOUR--BLUE.
+
+_(To the Editor of the Mirror.)_
+
+
+Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting _blue_, as
+the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of persons,
+it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that Bentley, in
+his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the costume
+of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5, for his
+authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but
+Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence
+of the passage.
+
+_Twickenham._ H. H.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS.
+
+_(For the Mirror.)_
+
+
+On the trial of _Henry Marshall_, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and
+deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of
+death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was
+immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his
+speech till a few hours preceding his execution.
+
+G. W. N.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+_July, 1736_--Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going armed in
+disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis,
+(reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where,
+having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought
+dead, was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to
+be dug at some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as
+they had put him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he
+thrust back the lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed
+his hands on the sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some
+of the people, in their first surprise, were for knocking him on the
+head; but the executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the
+mob, thinking otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor
+executioner, (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in
+a miserable manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at
+Bayswater, where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of
+blood, and it was thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The
+sheriffs' officers, believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the
+place of execution before he was cut down.
+
+_Sept. 3, 1736._--Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were executed
+this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was perceived to
+have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen and
+others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for,
+immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he
+had the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with
+divers persons he knew, and to all appearance a perfect recovery was
+expected. But notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in
+great agony, his bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his
+rolling from one side to the other.
+
+It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried
+to Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited
+him and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered
+the manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember
+his having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with
+him.
+
+G. K.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+LOVE AND JOY.
+
+AN ALLEGORY.
+
+
+In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants
+descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among
+the most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of
+Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up
+beneath their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all
+nature seemed embellished by their presence; they were inseparable
+companions, and their growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who
+had decreed that a lasting union should be solemnized between them as
+soon as they arrived at mature years. But in the meantime, the sons of
+men deviated from their native innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the
+earth with giant strides; and Astrea with her train of celestial
+visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love alone remained, having
+been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and conveyed by her to the
+forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst the shepherds. But
+Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded him to espouse
+Sorrow, the daughter of Até. He complied with reluctance, for her
+features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead contracted into
+perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a wreath of cypress
+and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom might be traced a
+strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen and unamiable
+features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of the father,
+that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing. The maids
+and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast was
+observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was yet
+an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom.
+She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she
+was beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but
+inexpressibly sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some
+wild and melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep,
+for she took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of
+the hamlet were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in
+among them and captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness.
+She wore on her head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted
+with her mother's cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of
+Helicon, her tears by chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the
+muses' spring has tasted of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter
+to follow the steps of her mother through the world, dropping balm into
+the wounds she made, and binding up the hearts she had broken. She
+follows with her hair loose, her bosom bare and throbbing, her garments
+torn by the briars, and her feet bleeding with the roughness of the
+path. The nymph is mortal, for so is her mother; and when she has
+finished her destined course upon earth, they shall both expire
+together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal and
+long-betrothed bride.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER.
+
+
+ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE.
+
+_(From a Correspondent.)_
+
+
+There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and
+Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not
+visited by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of
+the formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre
+of France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given
+rise, determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the
+neighbourhood. Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of
+Nonnenworth, I made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of
+sixteen miles, passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the
+other white and slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the
+valley of the Rhine narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales
+which the road skirts, are sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly
+covered with vines and fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing
+in the tints of its leaf, and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that
+its thick plantations present, yet there is a stiffness in the
+regularity in which it grows, propped up by sticks; and it is so short,
+that one's fancy as to its luxuriance, (especially if formed from such
+poetry as _Childe Harold_,) is certainly disappointed. I made a
+digression from the road up the little river Aar, which falls into the
+Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture you cannot imagine. The
+stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom rocky, and its banks,
+for a considerable distance, are literally perpendicular rocks. The Aar
+is a perfect specimen of the mountain torrent; it rises in the Eiffel
+mountains; and, I am told, in the winter does much mischief by
+inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh rivulets, particularly some
+parts of the Dee. This _détour_ having taken up more time than I
+expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in time for the supper at the
+rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish wine, and the company of
+an agreeable German tourist who was staying there, made ample amends for
+the fatigues of the day.
+
+In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs
+down from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of
+pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees
+scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of
+which are composed of what is called, in the language of geology,
+_tufa_, and in that of the country, _dukstein_, or _trass_. It is a
+stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it
+assumes a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried
+throughout the valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it
+is in great request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin
+to the trade in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled
+there about a century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower
+part of the mass is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore
+preferred by the quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose
+and sandy, and unfit for use. You must not suppose the stream to be
+clear like the Aar, for it is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same
+colour, being in fact a river of trass in solution. The banks, however,
+are picturesque and well wooded, particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old
+castle of peculiar architecture, built on an elevated rock, and formerly
+belonging to the family of Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is
+surrounded with caverns and halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and
+profusely ornamented with fine oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees.
+You may almost fancy yourself on magic ground, and looking on a fairy
+castle, so peculiar is the effect. I next reached Burgbrohl and
+Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills, for the stone is in many
+places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is a considerable trade in
+them to Holland, and thence to England and other countries. Half an hour
+next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg, one of the hills forming
+the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a magnificent prospect on
+the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood, with the old
+six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel chain
+enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to give me
+a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence to
+the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very
+different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching
+Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to
+withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene
+close under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines
+sometime ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the
+distance to be within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it
+that
+
+  "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view.
+  And robes the mountain in its azure hue."
+
+I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to
+the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain
+plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on
+the eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel
+of the river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks
+entirely. This table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic
+formation, and of a conical form, some of them having central funnels or
+craters, from which the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete
+are the Hirschenberg, near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that
+village and Olburg, the Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which
+last rises about one thousand feet above the level of the surrounding
+surface. There are many others extending for some distance in the Eiffel
+chain and in the vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to
+guide the footsteps of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is
+nearly circular and crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about
+a mile and a quarter in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet,
+but it is full of holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its
+water is blueish, very cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been
+examined by several geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the
+famous Humboldt, and there is no doubt that this great reservoir is the
+crater of an extinct volcano. The fragments and minerals thrown up on
+the banks are analogous to those found in other volcanic countries; and
+on one side (that towards Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued
+lava, which is supposed to have flowed from the crater during the last
+eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks
+it not improbable that this may have been the eruption recorded by
+Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as having ravaged the country of the
+Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of Nero. I should not forget to
+mention that there is a cavern within the basin of the lake, the air of
+which is so stifling and noxious, that animals die if forced to remain
+in it, and lights are extinguished by the gas--phenomena precisely
+similar to those of the well-known Grotto del Cane, near Naples.
+
+While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a
+word on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over
+this country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or,
+Carbal, and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the
+latter district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the
+difference of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial
+soil in the other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a
+deluge, is, I believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it
+is the actual substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm
+paste. The rain has always been observed to fall heavily after
+eruptions, and the water running down the sides of the hills, has formed
+this crust, which makes the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same
+causes are in action now; and if ever the lake should rise so high as to
+burst its banks, it would overflow the whole country, and carry terrible
+destruction with it. Such an event was actually foreseen by the
+sagacious monks who formerly inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal
+nearly a mile long, to give the water vent; and the discharge by it
+continues to this day. The abbey is now untenanted, and is in a
+deplorable state of ruin; it was once celebrated for its hospitality and
+a fine gallery of pictures; all, however, have vanished, and the ruins
+are now the property of M. Delius, a magistrate of Treves. The situation
+is so beautiful, surrounded as it is with fine timber, that one would
+suppose it worth his while to repair the place, particularly as stone is
+so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It forms, however, as it is, a
+picturesque addition to the interest of the excursion to the lake, I
+returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well satisfied with my
+inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to the abbey is
+little more than five miles, and it is one which I would advise all
+tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they be
+geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of.
+Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the
+funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to
+the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us
+that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being
+one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such
+signs of terror.
+
+D.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE SKETCH-BOOK
+
+
+GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE.
+
+_The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles._
+
+
+The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the
+windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted
+with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It
+lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters
+through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the
+surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of
+Bowood on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq.
+Towards the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last
+chalky cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles
+of Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front
+of the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond.
+
+This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and
+descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the
+bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into
+the water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and
+poplars, among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following
+inscription:--"M.S. Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali
+grassante, publicè missus, ipse miserrimè periit--1804. Fratri
+posuit."--Passing round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels,
+which leads to the green in front of the house, where, dipping a small
+slope, the path passes near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on
+the magnificent line of Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought
+could not be well avoided:
+
+  "When in thy sight another's vast domain
+  Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain?
+  Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state
+  Above the lowly, but beneath the great;
+  And still his name with gratitude revere,
+  Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here."
+
+The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn,
+from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a
+dark passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the
+fountain.
+
+The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was
+probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when
+at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the
+farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this
+mitred lord. It has the appearance of being _monastic_, but a more
+ornate capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of
+1688. I must again venture to give the appropriate inscription:--
+
+  "To count the brief and unreturning hours,
+  This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers,
+  Which came forth in their beauty--smiled and died,
+  Blooming and withering round its ancient side.
+  Mortal, thy day is passing--see that flower,
+  And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!"
+
+The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers;
+a step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with
+crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as
+their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey.
+
+The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the
+gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I
+add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by
+the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most
+exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers
+of the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties
+of the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine
+Bingham, being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame
+at the bar. The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy
+his muse whose poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed
+over the large Indian shell:--
+
+  "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar,
+  I drink the whelming tide no more;
+  But in this rock, remote and still,
+  Now serve to pour the murmuring rill.
+  Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept--
+  Oh! like his song, who placed me here,
+  The sweetest song to Memory dear,
+  When life's tumultuous storms are past,
+  May we, to such sweet music, close at last
+  The eyelids that have wept!"
+
+Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic
+stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a
+narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with
+fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on
+which an hour-glass is carved.
+
+A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in
+that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in
+such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless
+pride, tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters,
+distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St.
+John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters,
+Sir Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy--poets as well
+as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North,
+Esq.
+
+Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:--
+
+  "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss
+  Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!"
+
+Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond,
+there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century,
+would have been idolatrous!
+
+To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may
+be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the
+reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen
+the persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return,
+and many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the
+branches of that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let
+us now rest; it stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden
+which we have just perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard,
+and looks on to an old sun-dial, once a _cross_. The _cross_ was found
+broken at its foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I
+have brought the interesting fragment again into light, and placed it
+conspicuously opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I
+think it not unlikely was planted by Townson on his _restoration_. The
+accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four
+steps at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have
+been worn in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling,
+by the forefathers of the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed.
+From a seat near this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and
+battlements of the church, on one side; and on the other you look over a
+great extent of country. On a still summer's evening, the distant sound
+of the hurrying coaches, on the great London road, are heard as they
+pass to and from the metropolis. On this spot this last admonitory
+inscription fronts you:--
+
+  "There lie the village dead, and there too I,
+  When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie.
+  Look round, the distant prospect is display'd,
+  Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade.
+  Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road,
+  But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!"
+
+_History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS.
+
+PAPER MARKS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in
+this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign
+of Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture
+existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a
+paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book
+printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled
+"Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by
+John Tate, jun.
+
+The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they
+gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained,
+though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. _Post_
+paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on
+specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar
+mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open _hand_ is a
+very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is
+considerably altered in size and texture.
+
+_Fool's-Cap_--the name is still continued though the original design of
+a fool's cap is relinquished.
+
+_Pot Paper._--There were various designs of pots or drinking vessels;
+this paper retains its proportions and size according to early
+specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England.
+
+The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper
+with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John
+Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good.
+
+Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will
+or caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other
+non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head
+surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe,
+initials of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th
+century and commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with
+supporters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII.
+
+
+The only alteration in the following is the difference of the
+orthography which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are
+extracts from a curious manuscript, containing directions for the
+household of Henry VIII.
+
+"His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten,
+or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the
+stocks.
+
+"His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables,
+forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's
+houses, where he goes to visit.
+
+"Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie
+all night on the ground before the kitchen fire.
+
+"No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the
+ladies.
+
+"Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four.
+
+"The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging
+or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime.
+
+"The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the
+company of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal
+person.
+
+"There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which
+dishes and other things are often broken!
+
+"The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids.
+
+"The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient
+being allowed to them.
+
+"Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's
+chambers.[2]
+
+"The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale.
+
+"Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds.
+
+"Ordered--that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session of
+parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal
+displeasure."
+
+The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did,
+perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous
+manuscript.
+
+W. H. H.
+
+    [2] Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants
+    to run about to warm themselves with different diversions
+    before going to bed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR.
+
+
+In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard
+_Forthave_, who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented
+"_a vinegar_," which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from
+this it may be concluded that the length of time has caused the above
+corruption. The article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar."
+
+W. H. H.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FISH.
+
+
+Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical
+reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element
+congealed, or a jelly of water."
+
+It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to
+touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should
+not be enough left to regale their sovereign."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION.
+
+
+In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent
+as much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a
+tailor in Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming
+into the shop, liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as
+much for himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion.
+The knight was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to
+cut his gown as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's
+was made "of the same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the
+_gentleman's_ fashion again.
+
+C. F E.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+CONVEYANCING.
+
+
+The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the
+Cave of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary
+and redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in
+Macpelah, which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was
+therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the
+borders round about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a
+modern conveyance cannot well be more minutely characterized.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+SPIRIT OF THE
+PUBLIC JOURNALS
+
+
+THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT.
+
+  "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?"
+
+GAY.
+
+
+  I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance
+  Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science!
+  They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics,
+  And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics.
+
+  They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine,
+  While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring--
+  And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short,
+  With their chemical use of the still and retort.
+
+  Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.)
+  For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-.
+  And to make both ends meet they give little assistance,
+  With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance.
+
+  They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish,
+  Except just the bounds of their own native parish;
+  And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn,
+  While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern.
+
+  Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours,
+  The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers;
+  Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains,
+  And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains.
+
+  They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction--
+  They drive us from home by electric attraction--
+  And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity,
+  I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity.
+
+  When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving,
+  Anatomy leads them to give up the carving;
+  And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy,
+  While they study the line of the _os humeri_.
+
+  If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap,
+  We awake with a din about limestone and trap;
+  And the fire is extinguished past regeneration,
+  For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation.
+
+  'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen,
+  Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen,
+  Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia,
+  And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia.
+
+  The first son becomes half a fool in reality,
+  While the mother is watching his large ideality;
+  And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion,
+  For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution.
+
+  I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning,
+  Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning;
+  The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,--
+  So here's to plain English!--a plague on their ologies!
+
+_London Mag_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE EDITOR'S ROOM.
+
+_July 28, 1828._
+
+
+And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on
+Saturday next?--We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and Pasta
+is going--and Velluti is out of voice--and they are playing tragedies at
+the Haymarket--and Vauxhall will never be dry again--and the Funny Club
+are drenched to their skins every day--and "the sweet shady side of Pall
+Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be dull in the country if this
+weather continue--but not so dirty as upon the Macadam. So go.
+
+We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after
+business. It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland,
+and Turkey, and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish.
+The stocks are rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the
+Squirearchy are beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned.
+That will be a sad drawback from the delights of a two-shilling
+quartern-loaf. For ourselves, we have plenty of work cut out for us, in
+this our abiding place. The fewer the books which are published, the
+more we shall have to draw upon our own genius; and the duller the
+season, the more vivacious must we be to put our readers in spirits. But
+we have consolation approaching in the shape of amusing work.
+Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers will begin to lie,
+"like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious murders, what
+heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the Paddington
+Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's doors!
+We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;--and
+we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if
+they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont
+to do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even
+changing the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown
+themselves when parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own
+hands, and write a "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor
+pretenders to the secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the
+field.--Ibid.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+AWKWARDNESS.
+
+
+Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of
+life. There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the
+smallest approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,--he hobbles, or
+jumps, or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps--but creeping, sidling,
+limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,--he
+fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back
+of it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It
+is the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that
+individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up
+and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at
+an amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees,
+flying like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to
+another, destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good,
+gray kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and
+Willis's shop. The horse begins to gallop--Bless our soul! the gentleman
+will decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like
+a peal of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own
+shoulders, and not poking out between your charger's ears; and your
+horse ought to use _its_ exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very
+cold day, you have cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your
+brows, as if you had run the distance in half the time on foot.
+
+People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step
+into this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of
+such nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had
+breakfasted on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give
+him a shake like a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give
+yourself a rest? Poor man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to
+come! But the other gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered
+his body. Every time my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his
+twig with a few yards of twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a
+whupp," the suddenness of the accelerated motion makes his great, round
+head flop from the centre of his short, thick neck, and come with such
+violence on the unstuffed back, that his hat is sent down upon the
+bridge of his nose with a vehemence which might well nigh carry it away.
+Do you say that man is capable of taking a _pleasure_ ride? Before he
+has been bumped three miles, every pull of wind will be jerked out of
+his body, and by the time he has arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead
+man. If that man prospers in the world, he commits suicide the moment he
+sets up his carriage.
+
+We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of
+thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in
+the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking
+all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal,
+the unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms,
+crouches up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face,
+kicks out his legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes
+back to the place puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's
+burst. Is this dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can
+this be a specimen of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert
+confirmation, which sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow,
+and makes beauty float before our ravished senses, stealing our
+admiration by the gracefulness of each new motion, till at last our
+souls thrill to each warning movement, and dissolve into ecstasy and
+love?
+
+People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman
+might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of
+cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the
+velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its
+tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands
+swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while
+the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism
+detained the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to
+move. After you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze
+it, as if it were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not
+withdraw it to your side, and keep it in the station where nature and
+comfort alike tell you it ought to be? Do you think your breeches'
+pocket the most proper place to push your daddle into? Do you put it
+there to guard the solitary half-crown from the rapacity of your friend;
+or do you put it across your breast in case of an unexpected winder from
+your apparently peaceable acquaintance on the opposite side?
+
+Is it not quite absurd that a man can't even take a glass of wine
+without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at
+breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of
+wine after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The
+egg lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the
+table, you have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating
+nutriment a distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a
+confoundedly small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To
+avoid this, you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have
+to lay it down again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the
+whole, we disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old
+mode at Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and
+purified with a glass of hot rum.
+
+But the glass of wine--can anything be more easy? One would think
+not--but if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend,
+you will see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts
+to do with ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest
+thing in the world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps
+the decanter, leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the
+glittering crystal, which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then
+remark at what an acute angle he holds his right elbow as if he were
+meditating an assault on his neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the
+bottle down again as if his object were to shake the pure ichor, and
+make it muddy as his own brains. Mark how the animal seizes his
+glass,--by heavens he will break it into a thousand fragments! See how
+he bows his lubberly head to meet half way the glorious cargo; how he
+slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning gullet, and chucks down the
+glass so as almost to break its stem after he has emptied it of its
+contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil! Call you that taking a
+glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your gullet as you would put
+small beer into a barrel,--but it is not--oh, no! it is not taking, so
+as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or glowing, warm, tinted,
+beautiful caveza!
+
+A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady,
+perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see
+when they enter the room, how differently they behave.--How gracefully
+she waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and
+beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to
+her on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the
+white of his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle
+dangle on his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how
+he ducks to the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to
+his wife, who, by this time is giving a most spirited account of the
+state of the roads, and the civility of the postilions near the Borders.
+
+Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes
+tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five
+feet eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of
+their back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very
+ground. Let no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of
+ours in Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation
+by a sound which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry
+or a troop of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the
+window, and are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high
+stumping on the pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and
+we stake our credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of
+his majesty's subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height--We mean
+from five feet eleven (our own height) up to six feet three.
+
+Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural,
+and therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall
+man, if he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if
+it be buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling
+and absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and
+leads us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a
+specimen of that rare bird, the flying tailor.
+
+We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is
+famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual
+share, we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid
+view in a troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a
+walking-stick chair is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom
+or ever remain at home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some
+"bushy bourne or mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior
+the female is to the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter
+of an hour after the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to
+start, each with her walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule
+dangling from her wrist. The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with
+their great, heavy Wellingtons, which, after walking half a mile, pinch
+them at the toe, and make the pleasure excursion confine them to the
+house for weeks. Then some fool, the first gate or stile we come to, is
+sure to show off his vaulting, and upsets himself in the ditch on the
+opposite side, instead of going quietly over and helping the damosels
+across. And then, if he does attempt the polite, how awkwardly the
+monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow ditch with a plank across
+it--He goes only half way, and standing in the middle of the plank,
+stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting maiden so forcibly,
+that before he has time to get out of the way, the impetus his own tug
+has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock and nettles,
+which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found at the
+thoroughfares in every field.
+
+We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and
+the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When
+people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly _to
+the object_, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it is
+wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has
+concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly
+loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling
+behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never
+remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the
+_mauvaise honte_ with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered
+souchong? Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband.
+
+Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of
+its own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable
+situation than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not
+in the heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a
+solitary male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion
+appears absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner
+dressed out in satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in
+gingham gowns or calico prints, every morning of your life ever after.
+There she is, supported by her old father, decked out in his
+old-fashioned brown coat, with a wig of the same colour, beautifully
+relieving the burning redness of his huge projecting ears; and the
+mother, puffed up like an overgrown bolster, encouraging the trembling
+girl, and joining her maiden aunts of full fifty years, in telling her
+to take courage, for it is what they must all come to. Bride's-maids and
+mutual friends make up the company; and there, standing out before this
+assemblage, you assent to everything the curate, or, if you are rich
+enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say, shewing your knock-knees
+in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to an admiring bevy of the
+servants of both families, laughing and tittering from the squire's pew
+in the gallery. Then the parting!--The mother's injunctions to the
+juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to write within the
+week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you forgot
+nothing?"--the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of eyes! By
+Hercules!--there is but one situation more unpleasant _in_ this world,
+and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and jailor,
+preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter _out_ of it. The lady
+all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep from
+creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her
+nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of
+delicacy and reserve.
+
+_Blackwood's Magazine_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS.
+
+
+CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS.
+
+(_From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in
+China_.)
+
+
+BURIAL.
+
+No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial
+order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign
+of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the
+empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the
+Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south.
+
+
+THE NEW YEAR.
+
+The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the
+time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the
+greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the
+people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares
+and their labours at the new year.
+
+The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and
+creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are
+abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all
+smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors.
+
+On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals
+of office, throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the
+20th of the first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of
+rest from the ordinary official business of government. They attend,
+however, to extraordinary cases.
+
+During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various
+domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the
+hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires.
+
+On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and
+Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the
+best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down,
+and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the
+ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they
+can, and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit
+all the gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense,
+gilt paper, make bows, and prostrate pray.
+
+These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about
+daylight in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a
+red paper card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In
+the house, sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and
+appear before the heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new
+year.
+
+After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting,
+idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and
+workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the
+necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton,
+generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary
+channel.
+
+
+MEETING THE SPRING.
+
+February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called
+Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters
+the 15º of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring
+season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the
+district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an
+open chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs
+seated among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession.
+
+He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the
+following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar
+style. There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having
+been paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel
+its labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this
+official priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves
+it to the populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces;
+and so the foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this
+ancient usage is supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year.
+
+
+PAWNBROKING.
+
+Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided
+into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior
+walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other
+granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with
+similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the
+government; but there are others, we are informed, that exist without
+this sanction, and are directed to the relief of the mercantile
+interest. These assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of
+an Equitable Loan Company, making advances upon cargoes and large
+deposits of goods.
+
+These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over
+the door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but,
+whether they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of
+property, we will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem,
+with a grace of three months.
+
+
+TORTURE.
+
+In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the
+magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of
+men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small
+apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are
+many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in
+every part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many
+instances of suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured
+till death ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the
+emperor, against a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a
+confession of homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province,
+that on the 24th of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton,
+having received an appointment for his high literary attainments, to the
+magistracy of a Heen district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a
+young man, on his bridal day, to the torture, because he would not
+resign the band of music which he had engaged to accompany, according to
+law and usage, his intended wife to his father's house. The young man's
+name was Kwanfa. He died under the torture, and the affrighted
+magistrate went and hanged himself.
+
+
+CHINESE PRISON.
+
+Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private
+apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and
+fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall,
+till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over,
+the fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have
+not money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is
+every alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of
+punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper)
+to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners
+are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered
+down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth,
+whilst the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This
+place of torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a
+term equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell."
+
+
+TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS.
+
+It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the
+same light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow
+foreigners entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is
+no law against walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the
+Europeans in China to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally
+violate them, and attempt a longer walk. Once round the city walls has
+frequently been effected, but always at the risk of a scuffle, an
+assault and battery, from the idle and mischievous among the native
+population. On former occasions, some of the foreign tourists have
+returned to the factories relieved of the burden of their watches and
+clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage round, robbed of
+his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked.
+
+A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning,
+and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance
+round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards,
+two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but
+they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of
+men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats,
+and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really
+endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about,
+and fight and run alternately the distance of several miles.
+
+We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised
+at the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they
+effected their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on
+their guard; and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar
+scrape, they cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE GATHERER
+
+  "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+
+SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+BAPTISMAL PROMISES.
+
+One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on
+being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of
+qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her,
+said, with much _naiveté_, "I've a yeard that they promised to give me
+hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A GOOD WIFE.
+
+The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble
+family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and
+inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a
+seat belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.--_Taken
+from Mist's Journal_.
+
+"Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir
+devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and
+shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was
+still the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my
+desires, disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in
+apparence above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit,
+sweetly tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech,
+blest with silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave
+fashion to win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex;
+entyre with few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and
+persons in the honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as
+giving the occasion: Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir
+greatest extremity most patient, sending up hir pure soule with many
+zealous prayers and hymnes to hir maker; powring forth hir passionate
+heart with affectionate streams of love to hir"--
+
+"Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time
+his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any
+further.
+
+T. H.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one
+article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by
+no means desirable--_a new drop_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+BRITISH TARS,
+
+Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to
+concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable
+association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote
+will exemplify:--Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some
+of a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in
+London, the words "_Peace and Concord_" figured at full length in
+characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, _Conquered_!" exclaimed an
+honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words;
+"shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '_Conquered_' yet?" and so
+saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil
+explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored
+Peace, and allowed Concord to continue.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+REMEDY FOR DULNESS.
+
+Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a
+thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out
+of company."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+NATIONAL COMPLAINTS.
+
+The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the _French roast beef_; the
+Frenchmen in London complain of the _British brandy_.
+
+The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served
+in the _cavalry_, as they are so expert in _making a charge_.
+
+A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived
+at _Mr. Bailey's, senior_, was shown to the _Old Bailey_, by a
+Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was
+his friend's levee.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+BENEFIT OF CORRECTION.
+
+A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools
+did not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that
+whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a
+boy _smart_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FRENCH AND ENGLISH.
+
+"_C'est la Soupe_," says one of the best of proverbs, "_qui fait le
+Soldat_;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our
+troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact,
+than their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery.
+The English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals,
+by which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt
+to a cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the
+same pot, and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than
+the simple _Rôti_ could ever be.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE FAMILY SUIT.
+
+The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative
+practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform
+him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause
+which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years.
+Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran
+of the law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by
+this suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me,
+and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it
+would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your
+children and grand-children."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+PORK CHOPS.
+
+It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to
+summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other
+grotesque or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the
+feat by supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ARDUOUS BAPTISM.
+
+An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman,
+who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of
+the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual,
+and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How
+difficult this child is to baptize!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+DULL READING.
+
+St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable
+dull reader. "_Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non
+inveniat_."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+_Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near
+Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market,
+Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers._
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT,
+AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828***
+
+
+******* This file should be named 10475-8.txt or 10475-8.zip *******
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+  </head>
+  <body>
+    <h1>
+      The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+      Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 326, August 9, 1828, by Various
+    </h1>
+<pre xml:space="preserve">
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre>
+    <p>
+      Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12,
+      Issue 326, August 9, 1828
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Author: Various
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Release Date: December 16, 2003 [eBook #10475]
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Language: English
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Character set encoding: iso-8859-1
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE,
+      AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828***
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell,<br /> and the Prooject
+      Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      <br />
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page81" name="page81"></a>[pg 97]</span>
+    </p>
+    <h1>
+      THE MIRROR<br /> OF<br /> LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+    </h1>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <table width="100%">
+      <tr>
+        <td align="left">
+          <b>Vol. 12. No. 326.</b>
+        </td>
+        <td align="center">
+          <b>SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828.</b>
+        </td>
+        <td align="right">
+          <b>[PRICE 2d.</b>
+        </td>
+      </tr>
+    </table>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH.
+    </h2>
+    <div class="figure" style="width:75%;">
+      <a href="images/326-1.png"><img width="75%" src="images/326-1.png" alt="" /></a>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of
+      classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the New
+      Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with extraordinary
+      zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on all sides, but
+      has received the addition of some magnificent public edifices, while the
+      access to it from every quarter has been greatly facilitated and
+      embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our engraving is a mere
+      vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most superb of those
+      additions.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road was
+      long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this quarter,
+      the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming an approach
+      no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814, however, a
+      magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill, between which
+      and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was formerly occupied
+      with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect the hill with
+      Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an elegant arch,
+      called <i>Regent Bridge</i>, has been thrown over the hollow, which makes
+      the descent from the hill into this street easy and agreeable. Thus, in
+      place of being carried, as formerly, through long and narrow streets, the
+      great road from <span class="pagenum"><a id="page82" name="page82"></a>[pg
+      82]</span>the east into Edinburgh sweeps along the side of the steep and
+      singular elevation of the Calton Hill; whence the traveller has first a
+      view of the Old Town, with its elevated buildings crowning the summit of
+      the adjacent ridges, and rising upon the eye in imposing masses; and,
+      afterwards, of the New Town finely contrasted with the Old, in the
+      regularity and elegance of its general outline.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Regent Bridge</i> was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is
+      semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five
+      feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the
+      difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The
+      roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great
+      arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported by
+      elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased to
+      open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and the
+      building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along the
+      bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on which
+      that memorable battle was fought.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The engraving<a id="footnotetag1" name="footnotetag1"></a><a
+      href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a> is an interesting picture of classic
+      beauty; and as the "approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New
+      London Bridge are now becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope
+      this entrance to our metropolis will ultimately present a similar display
+      of architectural elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to
+      yield in comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that
+      the march of taste be quickened in this quarter.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Weep, for the word is spoken&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The master chord is broken,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And the master's hand is cold!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Romance hath lost her minstrel,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          No more his magic strain
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Shall throw a sweeter spell around,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The legends of Almaine.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          His fame had flown before him
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          To many a foreign land,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          His lays are sung by every tongue,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And harp'd by every hand!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          He came to cull fresh laurels,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          But fate was in their breath,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And turn'd his march of triumph
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Into a dirge of death.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          O! all who knew him lov'd him,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          For with his mighty mind,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          He bore himself so meekly,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          His heart it was so kind!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          His wildly warbling melodies,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The storms that round them roll,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Are types of the simplicity
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And grandeur of his soul.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Though years of ceaseless suffering
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Had worn him to a shade,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          So patient was his spirit,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          No wayward plaint he made.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          His victim pure and mild;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And stole upon him quietly
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          As slumber o'er a child.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Weep, for the word is spoken&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The master chord is broken,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And the master's hand is cold!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The master chord is broken,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And the master's hand is cold!
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      PLANCHE.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      YOUNG NAPOLEON.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(For the Mirror.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future destinies
+      of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To use the
+      words of the talented author of the <i>Improvisatrice</i>, "Poetry needs
+      no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be
+      uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware
+      that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed the
+      Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the interest
+      of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into
+      consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest
+      degree, interesting; they serve to display the <i>man</i>, divested of the
+      "pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot
+      be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the
+      world never gave him credit for:&mdash;<i>"Posterity will do me justice."</i>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at
+      St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was
+      carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his
+      society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his
+      solicitude during the period of seven years, "<i>For him alone,</i>" he
+      said, "<i>I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some
+      expectations on earth, they are also for him.</i>" He has declared to
+      several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on
+      his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that
+      Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of
+      which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection. He
+      was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this poem
+      which had been circulated, and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page83"
+      name="page83"></a>[pg 83]</span> bought and procured them by every means
+      in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable not a
+      single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been remarked,
+      that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and the
+      idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more. In
+      neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      VYVYAN.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Delightful image of my much loved boy!
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          No more, alas! will he enkindle joy,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          My son! my darling son! wert thou but here,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          My bosom should receive thy lovely form:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear:
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Serenely mild behold the lowering storm.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          I'd be the partner of thy infant cares,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          My wearied soul should an asylum find.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          My wrongs&mdash;my cares&mdash;should be forgot with thee,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          My power&mdash;imperial dignities&mdash;renown&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          This rock itself would be a heaven to me;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      (Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son."
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          O! Cherished image of my infant heir!
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          Thy surface does his lineaments impart:&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          His living form shall never glad my heart.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          The settled sadness of thy hapless sire!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear,
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find;
+        </p>
+        <p class="i2">
+          With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own:
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      (Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE COLOUR&mdash;BLUE.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(To the Editor of the Mirror.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting <i>blue</i>,
+      as the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of
+      persons, it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that
+      Bentley, in his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the
+      costume of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5,
+      for his authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but
+      Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence of
+      the passage.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Twickenham.</i> H. H.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(For the Mirror.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      On the trial of <i>Henry Marshall</i>, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and
+      deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of
+      death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was
+      immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his
+      speech till a few hours preceding his execution.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      G. W. N.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      <i>July, 1736</i>&mdash;Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going
+      armed in disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis,
+      (reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where,
+      having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought dead,
+      was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to be dug at
+      some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as they had put
+      him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he thrust back the
+      lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed his hands on the
+      sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some of the people, in
+      their first surprise, were for knocking him on the head; but the
+      executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the mob, thinking
+      otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor executioner,
+      (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in a miserable
+      manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at Bayswater,
+      where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of blood, and it was
+      thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The sheriffs' officers,
+      believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the place of execution
+      before he was cut down.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Sept. 3, 1736.</i>&mdash;Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were
+      executed this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was
+      perceived to have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen
+      and others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for,
+      immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he had
+      the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with divers
+      persons he knew, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page84" name="page84"></a>[pg
+      84]</span> and to all appearance a perfect recovery was expected. But
+      notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in great agony, his
+      bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his rolling from one side
+      to the other.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried to
+      Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited him
+      and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered the
+      manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember his
+      having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with him.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      G. K.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      LOVE AND JOY.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      AN ALLEGORY.
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants
+      descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among the
+      most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of
+      Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up beneath
+      their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all nature seemed
+      embellished by their presence; they were inseparable companions, and their
+      growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who had decreed that a lasting
+      union should be solemnized between them as soon as they arrived at mature
+      years. But in the meantime, the sons of men deviated from their native
+      innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the earth with giant strides; and Astrea
+      with her train of celestial visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love
+      alone remained, having been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and
+      conveyed by her to the forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst
+      the shepherds. But Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded
+      him to espouse Sorrow, the daughter of At&eacute;. He complied with
+      reluctance, for her features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead
+      contracted into perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a
+      wreath of cypress and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom
+      might be traced a strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen
+      and unamiable features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of
+      the father, that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing.
+      The maids and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast
+      was observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was
+      yet an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom.
+      She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she was
+      beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but inexpressibly
+      sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some wild and
+      melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep, for she
+      took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of the hamlet
+      were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in among them and
+      captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness. She wore on her
+      head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted with her mother's
+      cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of Helicon, her tears by
+      chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the muses' spring has tasted
+      of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter to follow the steps of her
+      mother through the world, dropping balm into the wounds she made, and
+      binding up the hearts she had broken. She follows with her hair loose, her
+      bosom bare and throbbing, her garments torn by the briars, and her feet
+      bleeding with the roughness of the path. The nymph is mortal, for so is
+      her mother; and when she has finished her destined course upon earth, they
+      shall both expire together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal
+      and long-betrothed bride.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER.
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(From a Correspondent.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and
+      Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not visited
+      by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of the
+      formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre of
+      France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given rise,
+      determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the neighbourhood.
+      Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of Nonnenworth, I
+      made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of sixteen miles,
+      passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the other white and
+      slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the valley of the Rhine
+      narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales which the road skirts, are
+      sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly covered with vines and
+      fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing in the tints of its leaf,
+      and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that its thick plantations
+      present, yet there is a stiffness in the regularity <span class="pagenum"><a
+      id="page85" name="page85"></a>[pg 85]</span> in which it grows, propped up
+      by sticks; and it is so short, that one's fancy as to its luxuriance,
+      (especially if formed from such poetry as <i>Childe Harold</i>,) is
+      certainly disappointed. I made a digression from the road up the little
+      river Aar, which falls into the Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture
+      you cannot imagine. The stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom
+      rocky, and its banks, for a considerable distance, are literally
+      perpendicular rocks. The Aar is a perfect specimen of the mountain
+      torrent; it rises in the Eiffel mountains; and, I am told, in the winter
+      does much mischief by inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh
+      rivulets, particularly some parts of the Dee. This <i>d&eacute;tour</i>
+      having taken up more time than I expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in
+      time for the supper at the rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish
+      wine, and the company of an agreeable German tourist who was staying
+      there, made ample amends for the fatigues of the day.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs down
+      from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of
+      pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees
+      scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of which
+      are composed of what is called, in the language of geology, <i>tufa</i>,
+      and in that of the country, <i>dukstein</i>, or <i>trass</i>. It is a
+      stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it assumes
+      a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried throughout the
+      valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it is in great
+      request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin to the trade
+      in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled there about a
+      century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower part of the mass
+      is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore preferred by the
+      quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose and sandy, and unfit
+      for use. You must not suppose the stream to be clear like the Aar, for it
+      is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same colour, being in fact a river
+      of trass in solution. The banks, however, are picturesque and well wooded,
+      particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old castle of peculiar architecture,
+      built on an elevated rock, and formerly belonging to the family of
+      Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is surrounded with caverns and
+      halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and profusely ornamented with fine
+      oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees. You may almost fancy yourself on
+      magic ground, and looking on a fairy castle, so peculiar is the effect. I
+      next reached Burgbrohl and Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills,
+      for the stone is in many places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is
+      a considerable trade in them to Holland, and thence to England and other
+      countries. Half an hour next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg,
+      one of the hills forming the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a
+      magnificent prospect on the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood,
+      with the old six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel
+      chain enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to
+      give me a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence
+      to the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very
+      different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching
+      Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to
+      withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene close
+      under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines sometime
+      ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the distance to be
+      within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it that
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And robes the mountain in its azure hue."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to
+      the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain
+      plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on the
+      eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel of the
+      river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks entirely. This
+      table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic formation, and of a
+      conical form, some of them having central funnels or craters, from which
+      the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete are the Hirschenberg,
+      near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that village and Olburg, the
+      Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which last rises about one
+      thousand feet above the level of the surrounding surface. There are many
+      others extending for some distance in the Eiffel chain and in the
+      vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to guide the footsteps
+      of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is nearly circular and
+      crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about a mile and a quarter
+      in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet, but it is full of
+      holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its water is blueish, very
+      cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been examined by several
+      geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the <span class="pagenum"><a
+      id="page86" name="page86"></a>[pg 86]</span> famous Humboldt, and there is
+      no doubt that this great reservoir is the crater of an extinct volcano.
+      The fragments and minerals thrown up on the banks are analogous to those
+      found in other volcanic countries; and on one side (that towards
+      Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued lava, which is supposed to
+      have flowed from the crater during the last eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose
+      opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks it not improbable that this
+      may have been the eruption recorded by Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as
+      having ravaged the country of the Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of
+      Nero. I should not forget to mention that there is a cavern within the
+      basin of the lake, the air of which is so stifling and noxious, that
+      animals die if forced to remain in it, and lights are extinguished by the
+      gas&mdash;phenomena precisely similar to those of the well-known Grotto
+      del Cane, near Naples.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a word
+      on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over this
+      country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or, Carbal,
+      and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the latter
+      district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the difference
+      of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial soil in the
+      other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a deluge, is, I
+      believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it is the actual
+      substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm paste. The rain has
+      always been observed to fall heavily after eruptions, and the water
+      running down the sides of the hills, has formed this crust, which makes
+      the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same causes are in action now; and
+      if ever the lake should rise so high as to burst its banks, it would
+      overflow the whole country, and carry terrible destruction with it. Such
+      an event was actually foreseen by the sagacious monks who formerly
+      inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal nearly a mile long, to give the
+      water vent; and the discharge by it continues to this day. The abbey is
+      now untenanted, and is in a deplorable state of ruin; it was once
+      celebrated for its hospitality and a fine gallery of pictures; all,
+      however, have vanished, and the ruins are now the property of M. Delius, a
+      magistrate of Treves. The situation is so beautiful, surrounded as it is
+      with fine timber, that one would suppose it worth his while to repair the
+      place, particularly as stone is so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It
+      forms, however, as it is, a picturesque addition to the interest of the
+      excursion to the lake, I returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well
+      satisfied with my inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to
+      the abbey is little more than five miles, and it is one which I would
+      advise all tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they
+      be geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of.
+      Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the
+      funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to
+      the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us
+      that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being
+      one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such
+      signs of terror.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      D.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      THE SKETCH-BOOK
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles.</i>
+    </h4>
+    <p>
+      The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the
+      windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted
+      with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It
+      lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters
+      through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the
+      surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of Bowood
+      on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq. Towards
+      the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last chalky
+      cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles of
+      Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front of
+      the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and
+      descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the
+      bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into the
+      water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and poplars,
+      among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following inscription:&mdash;"M.S.
+      Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali grassante, public&egrave;
+      missus, ipse miserrim&egrave; periit&mdash;1804. Fratri posuit."&mdash;Passing
+      round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels, which leads to the
+      green in front of the house, where, dipping a small slope, the path passes
+      near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on the magnificent line
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page87" name="page87"></a>[pg 87]</span>of
+      Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought could not be well
+      avoided:
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "When in thy sight another's vast domain
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain?
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Above the lowly, but beneath the great;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And still his name with gratitude revere,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn,
+      from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a dark
+      passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the
+      fountain.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was
+      probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when
+      at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the
+      farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this mitred
+      lord. It has the appearance of being <i>monastic</i>, but a more ornate
+      capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of 1688. I must
+      again venture to give the appropriate inscription:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "To count the brief and unreturning hours,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Which came forth in their beauty&mdash;smiled and died,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Blooming and withering round its ancient side.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Mortal, thy day is passing&mdash;see that flower,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers; a
+      step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with
+      crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as
+      their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the
+      gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I
+      add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by
+      the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most
+      exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers of
+      the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties of
+      the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine Bingham,
+      being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame at the bar.
+      The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy his muse whose
+      poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed over the large
+      Indian shell:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          I drink the whelming tide no more;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          But in this rock, remote and still,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Now serve to pour the murmuring rill.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Oh! like his song, who placed me here,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The sweetest song to Memory dear,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          When life's tumultuous storms are past,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          May we, to such sweet music, close at last
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The eyelids that have wept!"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic
+      stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a
+      narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with
+      fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on
+      which an hour-glass is carved.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in
+      that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in
+      such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless pride,
+      tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters,
+      distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St.
+      John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters, Sir
+      Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy&mdash;poets as well
+      as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North,
+      Esq.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond,
+      there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century,
+      would have been idolatrous!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may
+      be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the
+      reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen the
+      persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return, and
+      many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the branches of
+      that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let us now rest; it
+      stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden which we have just
+      perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard, and looks on to an old
+      sun-dial, once a <i>cross</i>. The <i>cross</i> was found broken at its
+      foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I have brought the
+      interesting fragment again into light, and placed it conspicuously
+      opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I think it not
+      unlikely was planted by Townson on his <i>restoration</i>. The
+      accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four steps
+      at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have been worn
+      in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling, by the
+      forefathers of <span class="pagenum"><a id="page88" name="page88"></a>[pg
+      88]</span> the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed. From a seat near
+      this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and battlements of the church,
+      on one side; and on the other you look over a great extent of country. On
+      a still summer's evening, the distant sound of the hurrying coaches, on
+      the great London road, are heard as they pass to and from the metropolis.
+      On this spot this last admonitory inscription fronts you:&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "There lie the village dead, and there too I,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Look round, the distant prospect is display'd,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <h4>
+      <i>History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles.</i>
+    </h4>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS.
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      PAPER MARKS.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="figure" style="width:75%;">
+      <a href="images/326-2.png"><img width="75%" src="images/326-2.png" alt="" /></a>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in
+      this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign of
+      Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture
+      existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a
+      paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book
+      printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled
+      "Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by
+      John Tate, jun.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they
+      gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained,
+      though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. <i>Post</i>
+      paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on
+      specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar
+      mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open <i>hand</i> is a
+      very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is
+      considerably altered in size and texture.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Fool's-Cap</i>&mdash;the name is still continued though the original
+      design of a fool's cap is relinquished.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page89" name="page89"></a>[pg 89]</span>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Pot Paper.</i>&mdash;There were various designs of pots or drinking
+      vessels; this paper retains its proportions and size according to early
+      specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper
+      with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John
+      Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will or
+      caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other
+      non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head
+      surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe, initials
+      of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th century and
+      commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with supporters.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The only alteration in the following is the difference of the orthography
+      which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are extracts from
+      a curious manuscript, containing directions for the household of
+      HenryVIII.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten,
+      or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the
+      stocks.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables,
+      forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's houses,
+      where he goes to visit.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie
+      all night on the ground before the kitchen fire.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the ladies.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging
+      or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the company
+      of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal person.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which
+      dishes and other things are often broken!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient being
+      allowed to them.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's chambers.<a
+      id="footnotetag2" name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Ordered&mdash;that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session
+      of parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal
+      displeasure."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did,
+      perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous
+      manuscript.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      W. H. H.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard <i>Forthave</i>,
+      who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented "<i>a vinegar</i>,"
+      which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from this it may be
+      concluded that the length of time has caused the above corruption. The
+      article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      W. H. H.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      FISH.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical
+      reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element
+      congealed, or a jelly of water."
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to
+      touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should not
+      be enough left to regale their sovereign."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent as
+      much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a tailor in
+      Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming into the shop,
+      liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as much for
+      himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion. The knight
+      was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to cut his gown
+      as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's was made "of the
+      same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the <i>gentleman's</i>
+      fashion again.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      C. F E.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      CONVEYANCING.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the
+      Cave <span class="pagenum"><a id="page90" name="page90"></a>[pg 90]</span>
+      of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary and
+      redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in Macpelah,
+      which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was therein, and
+      all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the borders round
+      about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a modern conveyance
+      cannot well be more minutely characterized.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h2>
+      SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT.
+    </h3>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?"
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      GAY.
+    </p>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science!
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          With their chemical use of the still and retort.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.)
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-.
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And to make both ends meet they give little assistance,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Except just the bounds of their own native parish;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          They drive us from home by electric attraction&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Anatomy leads them to give up the carving;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          While they study the line of the <i>os humeri</i>.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          We awake with a din about limestone and trap;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And the fire is extinguished past regeneration,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          The first son becomes half a fool in reality,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          While the mother is watching his large ideality;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution.
+        </p>
+      </div>
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning,
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,&mdash;
+        </p>
+        <p>
+          So here's to plain English!&mdash;a plague on their ologies!
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      <i>London Mag.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE EDITOR'S ROOM.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      <i>July 28, 1828.</i>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on
+      Saturday next?&mdash;We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and
+      Pasta is going&mdash;and Velluti is out of voice&mdash;and they are
+      playing tragedies at the Haymarket&mdash;and Vauxhall will never be dry
+      again&mdash;and the Funny Club are drenched to their skins every day&mdash;and
+      "the sweet shady side of Pall Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be
+      dull in the country if this weather continue&mdash;but not so dirty as
+      upon the Macadam. So go.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after business.
+      It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland, and Turkey,
+      and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish. The stocks are
+      rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the Squirearchy are
+      beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned. That will be a sad
+      drawback from the delights of a two-shilling quartern-loaf. For ourselves,
+      we have plenty of work cut out for us, in this our abiding place. The
+      fewer the books which are published, the more we shall have to draw upon
+      our own genius; and the duller the season, the more vivacious must we be
+      to put our readers in spirits. But we have consolation approaching in the
+      shape of amusing work. Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers
+      will begin to lie, "like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious
+      murders, what heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the
+      Paddington Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's
+      doors! We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;&mdash;and
+      we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if
+      they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont to
+      do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even changing
+      the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown themselves when
+      parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own hands, and write a
+      "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor pretenders <span
+      class="pagenum"><a id="page91" name="page91"></a>[pg 91]</span> to the
+      secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the field.&mdash;Ibid.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      AWKWARDNESS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of life.
+      There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the smallest
+      approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,&mdash;he hobbles, or jumps,
+      or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps&mdash;but creeping, sidling,
+      limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,&mdash;he
+      fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back of
+      it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It is
+      the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that
+      individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up
+      and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at an
+      amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees, flying
+      like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to another,
+      destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good, gray
+      kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and Willis's
+      shop. The horse begins to gallop&mdash;Bless our soul! the gentleman will
+      decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like a peal
+      of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own shoulders, and
+      not poking out between your charger's ears; and your horse ought to use <i>its</i>
+      exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very cold day, you have
+      cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your brows, as if you had
+      run the distance in half the time on foot.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step into
+      this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of such
+      nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had breakfasted
+      on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give him a shake like
+      a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give yourself a rest? Poor
+      man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to come! But the other
+      gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered his body. Every time
+      my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his twig with a few yards of
+      twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a whupp," the suddenness of
+      the accelerated motion makes his great, round head flop from the centre of
+      his short, thick neck, and come with such violence on the unstuffed back,
+      that his hat is sent down upon the bridge of his nose with a vehemence
+      which might well nigh carry it away. Do you say that man is capable of
+      taking a <i>pleasure</i> ride? Before he has been bumped three miles,
+      every pull of wind will be jerked out of his body, and by the time he has
+      arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead man. If that man prospers in the
+      world, he commits suicide the moment he sets up his carriage.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of
+      thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in
+      the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking
+      all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal, the
+      unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms, crouches
+      up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face, kicks out his
+      legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes back to the place
+      puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's burst. Is this
+      dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can this be a specimen
+      of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert confirmation, which
+      sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow, and makes beauty float
+      before our ravished senses, stealing our admiration by the gracefulness of
+      each new motion, till at last our souls thrill to each warning movement,
+      and dissolve into ecstasy and love?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman
+      might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of
+      cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the
+      velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its
+      tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands
+      swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while
+      the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism detained
+      the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to move. After
+      you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze it, as if it
+      were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not withdraw it to your
+      side, and keep it in the station where nature and comfort alike tell you
+      it ought to be? Do you think your breeches' pocket the most proper place
+      to push your daddle into? Do you put it there to guard the solitary
+      half-crown from the rapacity of your friend; or do you put it across your
+      breast in case of an unexpected winder from your apparently peaceable
+      acquaintance on the opposite side?
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Is it not quite absurd that a man can't <span class="pagenum"><a
+      id="page92" name="page92"></a>[pg 92]</span> even take a glass of wine
+      without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at
+      breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of wine
+      after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The egg
+      lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the table, you
+      have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating nutriment a
+      distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a confoundedly
+      small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To avoid this,
+      you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have to lay it down
+      again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the whole, we
+      disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old mode at
+      Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and purified
+      with a glass of hot rum.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      But the glass of wine&mdash;can anything be more easy? One would think not&mdash;but
+      if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend, you will
+      see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts to do with
+      ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest thing in the
+      world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps the decanter,
+      leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the glittering crystal,
+      which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then remark at what an acute
+      angle he holds his right elbow as if he were meditating an assault on his
+      neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the bottle down again as if his
+      object were to shake the pure ichor, and make it muddy as his own brains.
+      Mark how the animal seizes his glass,&mdash;by heavens he will break it
+      into a thousand fragments! See how he bows his lubberly head to meet half
+      way the glorious cargo; how he slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning
+      gullet, and chucks down the glass so as almost to break its stem after he
+      has emptied it of its contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil!
+      Call you that taking a glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your
+      gullet as you would put small beer into a barrel,&mdash;but it is not&mdash;oh,
+      no! it is not taking, so as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or
+      glowing, warm, tinted, beautiful caveza!
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady,
+      perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see when
+      they enter the room, how differently they behave.&mdash;How gracefully she
+      waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and
+      beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to her
+      on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the white of
+      his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle dangle on
+      his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how he ducks to
+      the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to his wife, who,
+      by this time is giving a most spirited account of the state of the roads,
+      and the civility of the postilions near the Borders.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes
+      tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five feet
+      eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of their
+      back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very ground. Let
+      no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of ours in
+      Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation by a sound
+      which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry or a troop
+      of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the window, and
+      are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high stumping on the
+      pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and we stake our
+      credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of his majesty's
+      subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height&mdash;We mean from five feet
+      eleven (our own height) up to six feet three.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural, and
+      therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall man, if
+      he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if it be
+      buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling and
+      absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and leads
+      us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a specimen of
+      that rare bird, the flying tailor.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is
+      famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual share,
+      we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid view in a
+      troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a walking-stick chair
+      is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom or ever remain at
+      home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some "bushy bourne or
+      mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior the female is to
+      the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter of an hour after
+      the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to start, each with her
+      walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule dangling from her wrist.
+      The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with their great, heavy
+      Wellingtons, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page93" name="page93"></a>[pg 93]</span>
+      which, after walking half a mile, pinch them at the toe, and make the
+      pleasure excursion confine them to the house for weeks. Then some fool,
+      the first gate or stile we come to, is sure to show off his vaulting, and
+      upsets himself in the ditch on the opposite side, instead of going quietly
+      over and helping the damosels across. And then, if he does attempt the
+      polite, how awkwardly the monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow
+      ditch with a plank across it&mdash;He goes only half way, and standing in
+      the middle of the plank, stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting
+      maiden so forcibly, that before he has time to get out of the way, the
+      impetus his own tug has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock
+      and nettles, which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found
+      at the thoroughfares in every field.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and
+      the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When
+      people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly <i>to
+      the object</i>, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it
+      is wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has
+      concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly
+      loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling
+      behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never
+      remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the <i>mauvaise
+      honte</i> with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered souchong?
+      Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of its
+      own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable situation
+      than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not in the
+      heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a solitary
+      male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion appears
+      absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner dressed out in
+      satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in gingham gowns or
+      calico prints, every morning of your life ever after. There she is,
+      supported by her old father, decked out in his old-fashioned brown coat,
+      with a wig of the same colour, beautifully relieving the burning redness
+      of his huge projecting ears; and the mother, puffed up like an overgrown
+      bolster, encouraging the trembling girl, and joining her maiden aunts of
+      full fifty years, in telling her to take courage, for it is what they must
+      all come to. Bride's-maids and mutual friends make up the company; and
+      there, standing out before this assemblage, you assent to everything the
+      curate, or, if you are rich enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say,
+      shewing your knock-knees in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to
+      an admiring bevy of the servants of both families, laughing and tittering
+      from the squire's pew in the gallery. Then the parting!&mdash;The mother's
+      injunctions to the juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to
+      write within the week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you
+      forgot nothing?"&mdash;the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of
+      eyes! By Hercules!&mdash;there is but one situation more unpleasant <i>in</i>
+      this world, and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and
+      jailor, preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter <i>out</i> of it.
+      The lady all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep
+      from creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her
+      nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of
+      delicacy and reserve.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <i>Blackwood's Magazine.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      MANNERS &amp; CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS.
+    </h2>
+    <h3>
+      CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS.
+    </h3>
+    <h4>
+      <i>(From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in
+      China.)</i>
+    </h4>
+    <h3>
+      BURIAL.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial
+      order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign
+      of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the
+      empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the
+      Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      THE NEW YEAR.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the
+      time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the
+      greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the
+      people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares
+      and their labours at the new year.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and
+      creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are
+      abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all
+      smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals of
+      office, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page94" name="page94"></a>[pg 94]</span>
+      throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the 20th of the
+      first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of rest from the
+      ordinary official business of government. They attend, however, to
+      extraordinary cases.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various
+      domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the
+      hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and
+      Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the
+      best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down,
+      and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the
+      ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they can,
+      and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit all the
+      gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense, gilt
+      paper, make bows, and prostrate pray.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about daylight
+      in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a red paper
+      card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In the house,
+      sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and appear before the
+      heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new year.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting,
+      idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and
+      workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the
+      necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton,
+      generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary
+      channel.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      MEETING THE SPRING.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called
+      Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters the
+      15&ordm; of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring
+      season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the
+      district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an open
+      chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs seated
+      among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the
+      following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar style.
+      There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having been
+      paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel its
+      labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this official
+      priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves it to the
+      populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces; and so the
+      foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this ancient usage is
+      supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      PAWNBROKING.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided
+      into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior
+      walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other
+      granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with
+      similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the government;
+      but there are others, we are informed, that exist without this sanction,
+      and are directed to the relief of the mercantile interest. These
+      assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of an Equitable Loan
+      Company, making advances upon cargoes and large deposits of goods.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over the
+      door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but, whether
+      they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of property, we
+      will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem, with a grace
+      of three months.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      TORTURE.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the
+      magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of
+      men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small
+      apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are
+      many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in every
+      part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many instances of
+      suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured till death
+      ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the emperor, against
+      a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a confession of
+      homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province, that on the 24th
+      of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton, having received an
+      appointment for his high literary attainments, to the magistracy of a Heen
+      district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a young man, on his bridal
+      day, to the torture, because he would not resign the band of music which
+      he had engaged to accompany, according to law and usage, his intended wife
+      to his father's house. The young <span class="pagenum"><a id="page95"
+      name="page95"></a>[pg 95]</span> man's name was Kwanfa. He died under the
+      torture, and the affrighted magistrate went and hanged himself.
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      CHINESE PRISON.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private
+      apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and
+      fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall,
+      till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over, the
+      fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have not
+      money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is every
+      alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of
+      punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper)
+      to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners
+      are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered
+      down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth, whilst
+      the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This place of
+      torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a term
+      equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell."
+    </p>
+    <h3>
+      TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the same
+      light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow foreigners
+      entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is no law against
+      walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the Europeans in China
+      to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally violate them, and attempt
+      a longer walk. Once round the city walls has frequently been effected, but
+      always at the risk of a scuffle, an assault and battery, from the idle and
+      mischievous among the native population. On former occasions, some of the
+      foreign tourists have returned to the factories relieved of the burden of
+      their watches and clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage
+      round, robbed of his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning,
+      and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance
+      round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards,
+      two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but
+      they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of
+      men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats,
+      and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really
+      endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about, and
+      fight and run alternately the distance of several miles.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised at
+      the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they effected
+      their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on their guard;
+      and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar scrape, they
+      cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger.
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <h2>
+      THE GATHERER
+    </h2>
+    <div class="poem">
+      <div class="stanza">
+        <p>
+          "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+        </p>
+      </div>
+    </div>
+    <p>
+      SHAKSPEARE.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      BAPTISMAL PROMISES.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on
+      being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of
+      qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her, said,
+      with much <i>naivet&eacute;</i>, "I've a yeard that they promised to give
+      me hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      A GOOD WIFE.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble
+      family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and
+      inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a seat
+      belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.&mdash;<i>Taken
+      from Mist's Journal</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir
+      devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and
+      shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was still
+      the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my desires,
+      disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in apparence
+      above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit, sweetly
+      tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech, blest with
+      silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave fashion to
+      win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex; entyre with
+      few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and persons in the
+      honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as giving the occasion:
+      Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir greatest extremity most
+      patient, sending up hir pure soule with many zealous prayers and hymnes to
+      hir maker; powring forth hir passionate heart with affectionate streams of
+      love to hir"&mdash;
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      <span class="pagenum"><a id="page96" name="page96"></a>[pg 96]</span>
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      "Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time
+      his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any further.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      T. H.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <p>
+      At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one
+      article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by
+      no means desirable&mdash;<i>a new drop</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      BRITISH TARS,
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to
+      concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable
+      association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote will
+      exemplify:&mdash;Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some of
+      a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in
+      London, the words "<i>Peace and Concord</i>" figured at full length in
+      characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, <i>Conquered</i>!" exclaimed
+      an honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words;
+      "shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '<i>Conquered</i>' yet?" and
+      so saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil
+      explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored
+      Peace, and allowed Concord to continue.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      REMEDY FOR DULNESS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a
+      thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out of
+      company."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      NATIONAL COMPLAINTS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the <i>French roast beef</i>; the
+      Frenchmen in London complain of the <i>British brandy</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served
+      in the <i>cavalry</i>, as they are so expert in <i>making a charge</i>.
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived at
+      <i>Mr. Bailey's, senior</i>, was shown to the <i>Old Bailey</i>, by a
+      Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was his
+      friend's levee.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      BENEFIT OF CORRECTION.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools did
+      not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that
+      whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a boy
+      <i>smart</i>.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      FRENCH AND ENGLISH.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      "<i>C'est la Soupe</i>," says one of the best of proverbs, "<i>qui fait le
+      Soldat</i>;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our
+      troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact, than
+      their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery. The
+      English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals, by
+      which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt to a
+      cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the same pot,
+      and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than the simple <i>R&ocirc;ti</i>
+      could ever be.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      THE FAMILY SUIT.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative
+      practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform
+      him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause
+      which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years. Instead
+      of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran of the
+      law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by this
+      suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me, and to
+      portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it would have
+      furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your children and
+      grand-children."
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      PORK CHOPS.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to
+      summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other grotesque
+      or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the feat by
+      supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops.
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      ARDUOUS BAPTISM.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman,
+      who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of
+      the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual,
+      and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How
+      difficult this child is to baptize!"
+    </p>
+    <hr />
+    <h3>
+      DULL READING.
+    </h3>
+    <p>
+      St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable
+      dull reader. "<i>Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non inveniat</i>."
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <p>
+        <a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a> <b>Footnote 1</b>: <a
+        href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a>
+      </p>
+      <p>
+        from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <blockquote class="footnote">
+      <p>
+        <a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a> <b>Footnote 2</b>: <a
+        href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a>
+      </p>
+      <p>
+        Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants to run about to
+        warm themselves with different diversions before going to bed.
+      </p>
+    </blockquote>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      <i>Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near
+      Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market,
+      Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers.</i>
+    </p>
+    <hr class="full" />
+    <p>
+      ***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT,
+      AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828***
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      ******* This file should be named 10475-h.txt or 10475-h.zip *******
+    </p>
+    <p>
+      This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> <a
+      href="https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/4/7/10475">https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/4/7/10475</a>
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+The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and
+Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 326, August 9, 1828, by Various
+
+
+This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
+almost no restrictions whatsoever.  You may copy it, give it away or
+re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
+with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+
+Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12,
+Issue 326, August 9, 1828
+
+Author: Various
+
+Release Date: December 16, 2003  [eBook #10475]
+
+Language: English
+
+Character set encoding: US-ASCII
+
+
+***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE,
+AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828***
+
+
+E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell, and the Prooject
+Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team
+
+
+
+Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this
+      file which includes the original illustration.
+      See 10475-h.htm or 10475-h.zip:
+      (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h/10475-h.htm)
+      or
+      (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h.zip)
+
+
+
+
+THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION.
+
+VOL. 12, No. 326.] SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828. [PRICE 2d.
+
+
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+
+REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH.
+
+
+Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of
+classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the
+New Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with
+extraordinary zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on
+all sides, but has received the addition of some magnificent public
+edifices, while the access to it from every quarter has been greatly
+facilitated and embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our
+engraving is a mere vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most
+superb of those additions.
+
+The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road
+was long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this
+quarter, the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming
+an approach no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814,
+however, a magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill,
+between which and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was
+formerly occupied with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect
+the hill with Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an
+elegant arch, called _Regent Bridge_, has been thrown over the hollow,
+which makes the descent from the hill into this street easy and
+agreeable. Thus, in place of being carried, as formerly, through long
+and narrow streets, the great road from the east into Edinburgh sweeps
+along the side of the steep and singular elevation of the Calton Hill;
+whence the traveller has first a view of the Old Town, with its elevated
+buildings crowning the summit of the adjacent ridges, and rising upon
+the eye in imposing masses; and, afterwards, of the New Town finely
+contrasted with the Old, in the regularity and elegance of its general
+outline.
+
+_Regent Bridge_ was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is
+semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five
+feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the
+difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The
+roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great
+arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported
+by elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased
+to open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and
+the building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along
+the bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on
+which that memorable battle was fought.
+
+The engraving[1] is an interesting picture of classic beauty; and as the
+"approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New London Bridge are now
+becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope this entrance to our
+metropolis will ultimately present a similar display of architectural
+elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to yield in
+comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that the
+march of taste be quickened in this quarter.
+
+    [1] from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER.
+
+
+  Weep, for the word is spoken--
+    Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd--
+  The master chord is broken,
+    And the master's hand is cold!
+  Romance hath lost her minstrel,
+    No more his magic strain
+  Shall throw a sweeter spell around,
+    The legends of Almaine.
+
+  His fame had flown before him
+    To many a foreign land,
+  His lays are sung by every tongue,
+    And harp'd by every hand!
+  He came to cull fresh laurels,
+    But fate was in their breath,
+  And turn'd his march of triumph
+    Into a dirge of death.
+
+  O! all who knew him lov'd him,
+    For with his mighty mind,
+  He bore himself so meekly,
+    His heart it was so kind!
+  His wildly warbling melodies,
+    The storms that round them roll,
+  Are types of the simplicity
+    And grandeur of his soul.
+
+  Though years of ceaseless suffering
+    Had worn him to a shade,
+  So patient was his spirit,
+    No wayward plaint he made.
+  E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare
+    His victim pure and mild;
+  And stole upon him quietly
+    As slumber o'er a child.
+
+  Weep, for the word is spoken--
+    Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd--
+  The master chord is broken,
+    And the master's hand is cold!
+  The master chord is broken,
+    And the master's hand is cold!
+
+PLANCHE.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+YOUNG NAPOLEON.
+
+_(For the Mirror.)_
+
+
+It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future
+destinies of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To
+use the words of the talented author of the _Improvisatrice_, "Poetry
+needs no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be
+uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware
+that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed
+the Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the
+interest of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into
+consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest
+degree, interesting; they serve to display the _man_, divested of the
+"pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot
+be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the
+world never gave him credit for:--_"Posterity will do me justice."_
+
+I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at
+St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was
+carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his
+society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his
+solicitude during the period of seven years, "_For him alone,_" he said,
+"_I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some
+expectations on earth, they are also for him._" He has declared to
+several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on
+his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that
+Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of
+which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection.
+He was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this
+poem which had been circulated, and bought and procured them by every
+means in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable
+not a single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been
+remarked, that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and
+the idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more.
+In neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred."
+
+VYVYAN.
+
+
+TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON.
+
+
+  Delightful image of my much loved boy!
+    Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile!
+  No more, alas! will he enkindle joy,
+    Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile.
+
+  My son! my darling son! wert thou but here,
+    My bosom should receive thy lovely form:
+  Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear:
+    Serenely mild behold the lowering storm.
+
+  I'd be the partner of thy infant cares,
+    And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind;
+  Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years,
+    My wearied soul should an asylum find.
+
+  My wrongs--my cares--should be forgot with thee,
+    My power--imperial dignities--renown--
+  This rock itself would be a heaven to me;
+    Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown.
+
+  O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame
+    Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name.
+
+(Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+
+
+Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son."
+
+
+  O! Cherished image of my infant heir!
+    Thy surface does his lineaments impart:--
+  But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare
+    His living form shall never glad my heart.
+
+  My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer
+    The settled sadness of thy hapless sire!
+  Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear,
+    And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire.
+
+  In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find;
+    With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own:
+  Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind,
+  Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne.
+
+(Signed.) NAPOLEON.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE COLOUR--BLUE.
+
+_(To the Editor of the Mirror.)_
+
+
+Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting _blue_, as
+the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of persons,
+it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that Bentley, in
+his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the costume
+of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5, for his
+authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but
+Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence
+of the passage.
+
+_Twickenham._ H. H.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS.
+
+_(For the Mirror.)_
+
+
+On the trial of _Henry Marshall_, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and
+deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of
+death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was
+immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his
+speech till a few hours preceding his execution.
+
+G. W. N.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+_July, 1736_--Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going armed in
+disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis,
+(reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where,
+having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought
+dead, was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to
+be dug at some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as
+they had put him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he
+thrust back the lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed
+his hands on the sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some
+of the people, in their first surprise, were for knocking him on the
+head; but the executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the
+mob, thinking otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor
+executioner, (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in
+a miserable manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at
+Bayswater, where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of
+blood, and it was thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The
+sheriffs' officers, believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the
+place of execution before he was cut down.
+
+_Sept. 3, 1736._--Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were executed
+this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was perceived to
+have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen and
+others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for,
+immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he
+had the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with
+divers persons he knew, and to all appearance a perfect recovery was
+expected. But notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in
+great agony, his bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his
+rolling from one side to the other.
+
+It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried
+to Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited
+him and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered
+the manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember
+his having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with
+him.
+
+G. K.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+LOVE AND JOY.
+
+AN ALLEGORY.
+
+
+In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants
+descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among
+the most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of
+Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up
+beneath their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all
+nature seemed embellished by their presence; they were inseparable
+companions, and their growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who
+had decreed that a lasting union should be solemnized between them as
+soon as they arrived at mature years. But in the meantime, the sons of
+men deviated from their native innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the
+earth with giant strides; and Astrea with her train of celestial
+visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love alone remained, having
+been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and conveyed by her to the
+forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst the shepherds. But
+Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded him to espouse
+Sorrow, the daughter of Ate. He complied with reluctance, for her
+features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead contracted into
+perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a wreath of cypress
+and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom might be traced a
+strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen and unamiable
+features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of the father,
+that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing. The maids
+and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast was
+observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was yet
+an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom.
+She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she
+was beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but
+inexpressibly sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some
+wild and melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep,
+for she took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of
+the hamlet were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in
+among them and captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness.
+She wore on her head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted
+with her mother's cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of
+Helicon, her tears by chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the
+muses' spring has tasted of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter
+to follow the steps of her mother through the world, dropping balm into
+the wounds she made, and binding up the hearts she had broken. She
+follows with her hair loose, her bosom bare and throbbing, her garments
+torn by the briars, and her feet bleeding with the roughness of the
+path. The nymph is mortal, for so is her mother; and when she has
+finished her destined course upon earth, they shall both expire
+together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal and
+long-betrothed bride.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER.
+
+
+ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE.
+
+_(From a Correspondent.)_
+
+
+There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and
+Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not
+visited by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of
+the formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre
+of France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given
+rise, determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the
+neighbourhood. Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of
+Nonnenworth, I made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of
+sixteen miles, passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the
+other white and slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the
+valley of the Rhine narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales
+which the road skirts, are sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly
+covered with vines and fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing
+in the tints of its leaf, and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that
+its thick plantations present, yet there is a stiffness in the
+regularity in which it grows, propped up by sticks; and it is so short,
+that one's fancy as to its luxuriance, (especially if formed from such
+poetry as _Childe Harold_,) is certainly disappointed. I made a
+digression from the road up the little river Aar, which falls into the
+Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture you cannot imagine. The
+stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom rocky, and its banks,
+for a considerable distance, are literally perpendicular rocks. The Aar
+is a perfect specimen of the mountain torrent; it rises in the Eiffel
+mountains; and, I am told, in the winter does much mischief by
+inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh rivulets, particularly some
+parts of the Dee. This _detour_ having taken up more time than I
+expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in time for the supper at the
+rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish wine, and the company of
+an agreeable German tourist who was staying there, made ample amends for
+the fatigues of the day.
+
+In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs
+down from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of
+pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees
+scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of
+which are composed of what is called, in the language of geology,
+_tufa_, and in that of the country, _dukstein_, or _trass_. It is a
+stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it
+assumes a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried
+throughout the valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it
+is in great request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin
+to the trade in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled
+there about a century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower
+part of the mass is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore
+preferred by the quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose
+and sandy, and unfit for use. You must not suppose the stream to be
+clear like the Aar, for it is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same
+colour, being in fact a river of trass in solution. The banks, however,
+are picturesque and well wooded, particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old
+castle of peculiar architecture, built on an elevated rock, and formerly
+belonging to the family of Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is
+surrounded with caverns and halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and
+profusely ornamented with fine oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees.
+You may almost fancy yourself on magic ground, and looking on a fairy
+castle, so peculiar is the effect. I next reached Burgbrohl and
+Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills, for the stone is in many
+places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is a considerable trade in
+them to Holland, and thence to England and other countries. Half an hour
+next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg, one of the hills forming
+the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a magnificent prospect on
+the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood, with the old
+six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel chain
+enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to give me
+a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence to
+the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very
+different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching
+Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to
+withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene
+close under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines
+sometime ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the
+distance to be within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it
+that
+
+  "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view.
+  And robes the mountain in its azure hue."
+
+I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to
+the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain
+plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on
+the eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel
+of the river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks
+entirely. This table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic
+formation, and of a conical form, some of them having central funnels or
+craters, from which the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete
+are the Hirschenberg, near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that
+village and Olburg, the Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which
+last rises about one thousand feet above the level of the surrounding
+surface. There are many others extending for some distance in the Eiffel
+chain and in the vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to
+guide the footsteps of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is
+nearly circular and crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about
+a mile and a quarter in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet,
+but it is full of holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its
+water is blueish, very cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been
+examined by several geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the
+famous Humboldt, and there is no doubt that this great reservoir is the
+crater of an extinct volcano. The fragments and minerals thrown up on
+the banks are analogous to those found in other volcanic countries; and
+on one side (that towards Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued
+lava, which is supposed to have flowed from the crater during the last
+eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks
+it not improbable that this may have been the eruption recorded by
+Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as having ravaged the country of the
+Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of Nero. I should not forget to
+mention that there is a cavern within the basin of the lake, the air of
+which is so stifling and noxious, that animals die if forced to remain
+in it, and lights are extinguished by the gas--phenomena precisely
+similar to those of the well-known Grotto del Cane, near Naples.
+
+While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a
+word on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over
+this country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or,
+Carbal, and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the
+latter district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the
+difference of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial
+soil in the other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a
+deluge, is, I believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it
+is the actual substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm
+paste. The rain has always been observed to fall heavily after
+eruptions, and the water running down the sides of the hills, has formed
+this crust, which makes the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same
+causes are in action now; and if ever the lake should rise so high as to
+burst its banks, it would overflow the whole country, and carry terrible
+destruction with it. Such an event was actually foreseen by the
+sagacious monks who formerly inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal
+nearly a mile long, to give the water vent; and the discharge by it
+continues to this day. The abbey is now untenanted, and is in a
+deplorable state of ruin; it was once celebrated for its hospitality and
+a fine gallery of pictures; all, however, have vanished, and the ruins
+are now the property of M. Delius, a magistrate of Treves. The situation
+is so beautiful, surrounded as it is with fine timber, that one would
+suppose it worth his while to repair the place, particularly as stone is
+so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It forms, however, as it is, a
+picturesque addition to the interest of the excursion to the lake, I
+returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well satisfied with my
+inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to the abbey is
+little more than five miles, and it is one which I would advise all
+tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they be
+geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of.
+Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the
+funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to
+the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us
+that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being
+one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such
+signs of terror.
+
+D.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE SKETCH-BOOK
+
+
+GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE.
+
+_The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles._
+
+
+The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the
+windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted
+with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It
+lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters
+through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the
+surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of
+Bowood on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq.
+Towards the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last
+chalky cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles
+of Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front
+of the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond.
+
+This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and
+descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the
+bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into
+the water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and
+poplars, among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following
+inscription:--"M.S. Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali
+grassante, publice missus, ipse miserrime periit--1804. Fratri
+posuit."--Passing round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels,
+which leads to the green in front of the house, where, dipping a small
+slope, the path passes near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on
+the magnificent line of Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought
+could not be well avoided:
+
+  "When in thy sight another's vast domain
+  Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain?
+  Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state
+  Above the lowly, but beneath the great;
+  And still his name with gratitude revere,
+  Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here."
+
+The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn,
+from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a
+dark passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the
+fountain.
+
+The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was
+probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when
+at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the
+farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this
+mitred lord. It has the appearance of being _monastic_, but a more
+ornate capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of
+1688. I must again venture to give the appropriate inscription:--
+
+  "To count the brief and unreturning hours,
+  This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers,
+  Which came forth in their beauty--smiled and died,
+  Blooming and withering round its ancient side.
+  Mortal, thy day is passing--see that flower,
+  And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!"
+
+The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers;
+a step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with
+crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as
+their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey.
+
+The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the
+gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I
+add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by
+the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most
+exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers
+of the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties
+of the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine
+Bingham, being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame
+at the bar. The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy
+his muse whose poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed
+over the large Indian shell:--
+
+  "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar,
+  I drink the whelming tide no more;
+  But in this rock, remote and still,
+  Now serve to pour the murmuring rill.
+  Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept--
+  Oh! like his song, who placed me here,
+  The sweetest song to Memory dear,
+  When life's tumultuous storms are past,
+  May we, to such sweet music, close at last
+  The eyelids that have wept!"
+
+Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic
+stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a
+narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with
+fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on
+which an hour-glass is carved.
+
+A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in
+that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in
+such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless
+pride, tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters,
+distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St.
+John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters,
+Sir Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy--poets as well
+as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North,
+Esq.
+
+Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:--
+
+  "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss
+  Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!"
+
+Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond,
+there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century,
+would have been idolatrous!
+
+To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may
+be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the
+reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen
+the persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return,
+and many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the
+branches of that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let
+us now rest; it stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden
+which we have just perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard,
+and looks on to an old sun-dial, once a _cross_. The _cross_ was found
+broken at its foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I
+have brought the interesting fragment again into light, and placed it
+conspicuously opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I
+think it not unlikely was planted by Townson on his _restoration_. The
+accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four
+steps at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have
+been worn in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling,
+by the forefathers of the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed.
+From a seat near this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and
+battlements of the church, on one side; and on the other you look over a
+great extent of country. On a still summer's evening, the distant sound
+of the hurrying coaches, on the great London road, are heard as they
+pass to and from the metropolis. On this spot this last admonitory
+inscription fronts you:--
+
+  "There lie the village dead, and there too I,
+  When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie.
+  Look round, the distant prospect is display'd,
+  Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade.
+  Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road,
+  But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!"
+
+_History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles._
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS.
+
+PAPER MARKS.
+
+[Illustration]
+
+
+Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in
+this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign
+of Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture
+existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a
+paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book
+printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled
+"Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by
+John Tate, jun.
+
+The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they
+gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained,
+though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. _Post_
+paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on
+specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar
+mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open _hand_ is a
+very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is
+considerably altered in size and texture.
+
+_Fool's-Cap_--the name is still continued though the original design of
+a fool's cap is relinquished.
+
+_Pot Paper._--There were various designs of pots or drinking vessels;
+this paper retains its proportions and size according to early
+specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England.
+
+The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper
+with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John
+Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good.
+
+Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will
+or caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other
+non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head
+surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe,
+initials of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th
+century and commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with
+supporters.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII.
+
+
+The only alteration in the following is the difference of the
+orthography which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are
+extracts from a curious manuscript, containing directions for the
+household of Henry VIII.
+
+"His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten,
+or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the
+stocks.
+
+"His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables,
+forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's
+houses, where he goes to visit.
+
+"Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie
+all night on the ground before the kitchen fire.
+
+"No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the
+ladies.
+
+"Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four.
+
+"The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging
+or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime.
+
+"The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the
+company of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal
+person.
+
+"There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which
+dishes and other things are often broken!
+
+"The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids.
+
+"The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient
+being allowed to them.
+
+"Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's
+chambers.[2]
+
+"The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale.
+
+"Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds.
+
+"Ordered--that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session of
+parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal
+displeasure."
+
+The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did,
+perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous
+manuscript.
+
+W. H. H.
+
+    [2] Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants
+    to run about to warm themselves with different diversions
+    before going to bed.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR.
+
+
+In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard
+_Forthave_, who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented
+"_a vinegar_," which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from
+this it may be concluded that the length of time has caused the above
+corruption. The article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar."
+
+W. H. H.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FISH.
+
+
+Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical
+reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element
+congealed, or a jelly of water."
+
+It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to
+touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should
+not be enough left to regale their sovereign."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION.
+
+
+In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent
+as much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a
+tailor in Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming
+into the shop, liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as
+much for himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion.
+The knight was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to
+cut his gown as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's
+was made "of the same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the
+_gentleman's_ fashion again.
+
+C. F E.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+CONVEYANCING.
+
+
+The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the
+Cave of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary
+and redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in
+Macpelah, which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was
+therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the
+borders round about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a
+modern conveyance cannot well be more minutely characterized.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+SPIRIT OF THE
+PUBLIC JOURNALS
+
+
+THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT.
+
+  "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?"
+
+GAY.
+
+
+  I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance
+  Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science!
+  They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics,
+  And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics.
+
+  They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine,
+  While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring--
+  And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short,
+  With their chemical use of the still and retort.
+
+  Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.)
+  For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-.
+  And to make both ends meet they give little assistance,
+  With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance.
+
+  They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish,
+  Except just the bounds of their own native parish;
+  And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn,
+  While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern.
+
+  Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours,
+  The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers;
+  Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains,
+  And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains.
+
+  They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction--
+  They drive us from home by electric attraction--
+  And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity,
+  I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity.
+
+  When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving,
+  Anatomy leads them to give up the carving;
+  And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy,
+  While they study the line of the _os humeri_.
+
+  If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap,
+  We awake with a din about limestone and trap;
+  And the fire is extinguished past regeneration,
+  For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation.
+
+  'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen,
+  Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen,
+  Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia,
+  And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia.
+
+  The first son becomes half a fool in reality,
+  While the mother is watching his large ideality;
+  And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion,
+  For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution.
+
+  I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning,
+  Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning;
+  The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,--
+  So here's to plain English!--a plague on their ologies!
+
+_London Mag_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE EDITOR'S ROOM.
+
+_July 28, 1828._
+
+
+And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on
+Saturday next?--We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and Pasta
+is going--and Velluti is out of voice--and they are playing tragedies at
+the Haymarket--and Vauxhall will never be dry again--and the Funny Club
+are drenched to their skins every day--and "the sweet shady side of Pall
+Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be dull in the country if this
+weather continue--but not so dirty as upon the Macadam. So go.
+
+We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after
+business. It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland,
+and Turkey, and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish.
+The stocks are rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the
+Squirearchy are beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned.
+That will be a sad drawback from the delights of a two-shilling
+quartern-loaf. For ourselves, we have plenty of work cut out for us, in
+this our abiding place. The fewer the books which are published, the
+more we shall have to draw upon our own genius; and the duller the
+season, the more vivacious must we be to put our readers in spirits. But
+we have consolation approaching in the shape of amusing work.
+Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers will begin to lie,
+"like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious murders, what
+heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the Paddington
+Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's doors!
+We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;--and
+we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if
+they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont
+to do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even
+changing the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown
+themselves when parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own
+hands, and write a "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor
+pretenders to the secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the
+field.--Ibid.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+AWKWARDNESS.
+
+
+Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of
+life. There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the
+smallest approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,--he hobbles, or
+jumps, or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps--but creeping, sidling,
+limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,--he
+fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back
+of it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It
+is the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that
+individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up
+and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at
+an amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees,
+flying like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to
+another, destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good,
+gray kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and
+Willis's shop. The horse begins to gallop--Bless our soul! the gentleman
+will decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like
+a peal of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own
+shoulders, and not poking out between your charger's ears; and your
+horse ought to use _its_ exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very
+cold day, you have cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your
+brows, as if you had run the distance in half the time on foot.
+
+People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step
+into this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of
+such nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had
+breakfasted on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give
+him a shake like a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give
+yourself a rest? Poor man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to
+come! But the other gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered
+his body. Every time my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his
+twig with a few yards of twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a
+whupp," the suddenness of the accelerated motion makes his great, round
+head flop from the centre of his short, thick neck, and come with such
+violence on the unstuffed back, that his hat is sent down upon the
+bridge of his nose with a vehemence which might well nigh carry it away.
+Do you say that man is capable of taking a _pleasure_ ride? Before he
+has been bumped three miles, every pull of wind will be jerked out of
+his body, and by the time he has arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead
+man. If that man prospers in the world, he commits suicide the moment he
+sets up his carriage.
+
+We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of
+thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in
+the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking
+all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal,
+the unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms,
+crouches up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face,
+kicks out his legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes
+back to the place puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's
+burst. Is this dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can
+this be a specimen of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert
+confirmation, which sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow,
+and makes beauty float before our ravished senses, stealing our
+admiration by the gracefulness of each new motion, till at last our
+souls thrill to each warning movement, and dissolve into ecstasy and
+love?
+
+People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman
+might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of
+cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the
+velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its
+tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands
+swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while
+the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism
+detained the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to
+move. After you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze
+it, as if it were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not
+withdraw it to your side, and keep it in the station where nature and
+comfort alike tell you it ought to be? Do you think your breeches'
+pocket the most proper place to push your daddle into? Do you put it
+there to guard the solitary half-crown from the rapacity of your friend;
+or do you put it across your breast in case of an unexpected winder from
+your apparently peaceable acquaintance on the opposite side?
+
+Is it not quite absurd that a man can't even take a glass of wine
+without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at
+breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of
+wine after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The
+egg lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the
+table, you have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating
+nutriment a distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a
+confoundedly small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To
+avoid this, you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have
+to lay it down again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the
+whole, we disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old
+mode at Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and
+purified with a glass of hot rum.
+
+But the glass of wine--can anything be more easy? One would think
+not--but if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend,
+you will see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts
+to do with ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest
+thing in the world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps
+the decanter, leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the
+glittering crystal, which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then
+remark at what an acute angle he holds his right elbow as if he were
+meditating an assault on his neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the
+bottle down again as if his object were to shake the pure ichor, and
+make it muddy as his own brains. Mark how the animal seizes his
+glass,--by heavens he will break it into a thousand fragments! See how
+he bows his lubberly head to meet half way the glorious cargo; how he
+slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning gullet, and chucks down the
+glass so as almost to break its stem after he has emptied it of its
+contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil! Call you that taking a
+glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your gullet as you would put
+small beer into a barrel,--but it is not--oh, no! it is not taking, so
+as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or glowing, warm, tinted,
+beautiful caveza!
+
+A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady,
+perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see
+when they enter the room, how differently they behave.--How gracefully
+she waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and
+beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to
+her on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the
+white of his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle
+dangle on his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how
+he ducks to the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to
+his wife, who, by this time is giving a most spirited account of the
+state of the roads, and the civility of the postilions near the Borders.
+
+Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes
+tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five
+feet eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of
+their back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very
+ground. Let no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of
+ours in Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation
+by a sound which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry
+or a troop of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the
+window, and are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high
+stumping on the pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and
+we stake our credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of
+his majesty's subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height--We mean
+from five feet eleven (our own height) up to six feet three.
+
+Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural,
+and therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall
+man, if he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if
+it be buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling
+and absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and
+leads us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a
+specimen of that rare bird, the flying tailor.
+
+We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is
+famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual
+share, we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid
+view in a troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a
+walking-stick chair is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom
+or ever remain at home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some
+"bushy bourne or mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior
+the female is to the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter
+of an hour after the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to
+start, each with her walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule
+dangling from her wrist. The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with
+their great, heavy Wellingtons, which, after walking half a mile, pinch
+them at the toe, and make the pleasure excursion confine them to the
+house for weeks. Then some fool, the first gate or stile we come to, is
+sure to show off his vaulting, and upsets himself in the ditch on the
+opposite side, instead of going quietly over and helping the damosels
+across. And then, if he does attempt the polite, how awkwardly the
+monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow ditch with a plank across
+it--He goes only half way, and standing in the middle of the plank,
+stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting maiden so forcibly,
+that before he has time to get out of the way, the impetus his own tug
+has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock and nettles,
+which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found at the
+thoroughfares in every field.
+
+We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and
+the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When
+people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly _to
+the object_, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it is
+wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has
+concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly
+loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling
+behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never
+remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the
+_mauvaise honte_ with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered
+souchong? Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband.
+
+Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of
+its own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable
+situation than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not
+in the heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a
+solitary male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion
+appears absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner
+dressed out in satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in
+gingham gowns or calico prints, every morning of your life ever after.
+There she is, supported by her old father, decked out in his
+old-fashioned brown coat, with a wig of the same colour, beautifully
+relieving the burning redness of his huge projecting ears; and the
+mother, puffed up like an overgrown bolster, encouraging the trembling
+girl, and joining her maiden aunts of full fifty years, in telling her
+to take courage, for it is what they must all come to. Bride's-maids and
+mutual friends make up the company; and there, standing out before this
+assemblage, you assent to everything the curate, or, if you are rich
+enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say, shewing your knock-knees
+in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to an admiring bevy of the
+servants of both families, laughing and tittering from the squire's pew
+in the gallery. Then the parting!--The mother's injunctions to the
+juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to write within the
+week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you forgot
+nothing?"--the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of eyes! By
+Hercules!--there is but one situation more unpleasant _in_ this world,
+and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and jailor,
+preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter _out_ of it. The lady
+all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep from
+creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her
+nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of
+delicacy and reserve.
+
+_Blackwood's Magazine_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS.
+
+
+CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS.
+
+(_From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in
+China_.)
+
+
+BURIAL.
+
+No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial
+order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign
+of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the
+empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the
+Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south.
+
+
+THE NEW YEAR.
+
+The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the
+time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the
+greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the
+people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares
+and their labours at the new year.
+
+The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and
+creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are
+abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all
+smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors.
+
+On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals
+of office, throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the
+20th of the first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of
+rest from the ordinary official business of government. They attend,
+however, to extraordinary cases.
+
+During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various
+domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the
+hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires.
+
+On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and
+Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the
+best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down,
+and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the
+ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they
+can, and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit
+all the gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense,
+gilt paper, make bows, and prostrate pray.
+
+These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about
+daylight in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a
+red paper card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In
+the house, sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and
+appear before the heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new
+year.
+
+After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting,
+idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and
+workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the
+necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton,
+generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary
+channel.
+
+
+MEETING THE SPRING.
+
+February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called
+Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters
+the 15 deg. of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring
+season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the
+district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an
+open chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs
+seated among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession.
+
+He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the
+following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar
+style. There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having
+been paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel
+its labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this
+official priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves
+it to the populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces;
+and so the foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this
+ancient usage is supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year.
+
+
+PAWNBROKING.
+
+Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided
+into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior
+walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other
+granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with
+similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the
+government; but there are others, we are informed, that exist without
+this sanction, and are directed to the relief of the mercantile
+interest. These assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of
+an Equitable Loan Company, making advances upon cargoes and large
+deposits of goods.
+
+These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over
+the door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but,
+whether they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of
+property, we will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem,
+with a grace of three months.
+
+
+TORTURE.
+
+In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the
+magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of
+men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small
+apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are
+many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in
+every part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many
+instances of suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured
+till death ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the
+emperor, against a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a
+confession of homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province,
+that on the 24th of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton,
+having received an appointment for his high literary attainments, to the
+magistracy of a Heen district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a
+young man, on his bridal day, to the torture, because he would not
+resign the band of music which he had engaged to accompany, according to
+law and usage, his intended wife to his father's house. The young man's
+name was Kwanfa. He died under the torture, and the affrighted
+magistrate went and hanged himself.
+
+
+CHINESE PRISON.
+
+Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private
+apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and
+fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall,
+till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over,
+the fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have
+not money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is
+every alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of
+punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper)
+to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners
+are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered
+down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth,
+whilst the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This
+place of torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a
+term equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell."
+
+
+TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS.
+
+It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the
+same light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow
+foreigners entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is
+no law against walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the
+Europeans in China to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally
+violate them, and attempt a longer walk. Once round the city walls has
+frequently been effected, but always at the risk of a scuffle, an
+assault and battery, from the idle and mischievous among the native
+population. On former occasions, some of the foreign tourists have
+returned to the factories relieved of the burden of their watches and
+clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage round, robbed of
+his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked.
+
+A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning,
+and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance
+round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards,
+two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but
+they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of
+men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats,
+and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really
+endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about,
+and fight and run alternately the distance of several miles.
+
+We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised
+at the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they
+effected their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on
+their guard; and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar
+scrape, they cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+
+THE GATHERER
+
+  "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles."
+
+SHAKSPEARE.
+
+
+BAPTISMAL PROMISES.
+
+One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on
+being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of
+qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her,
+said, with much _naivete_, "I've a yeard that they promised to give me
+hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+A GOOD WIFE.
+
+The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble
+family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and
+inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a
+seat belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.--_Taken
+from Mist's Journal_.
+
+"Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir
+devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and
+shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was
+still the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my
+desires, disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in
+apparence above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit,
+sweetly tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech,
+blest with silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave
+fashion to win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex;
+entyre with few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and
+persons in the honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as
+giving the occasion: Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir
+greatest extremity most patient, sending up hir pure soule with many
+zealous prayers and hymnes to hir maker; powring forth hir passionate
+heart with affectionate streams of love to hir"--
+
+"Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time
+his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any
+further.
+
+T. H.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one
+article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by
+no means desirable--_a new drop_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+BRITISH TARS,
+
+Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to
+concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable
+association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote
+will exemplify:--Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some
+of a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in
+London, the words "_Peace and Concord_" figured at full length in
+characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, _Conquered_!" exclaimed an
+honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words;
+"shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '_Conquered_' yet?" and so
+saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil
+explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored
+Peace, and allowed Concord to continue.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+REMEDY FOR DULNESS.
+
+Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a
+thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out
+of company."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+NATIONAL COMPLAINTS.
+
+The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the _French roast beef_; the
+Frenchmen in London complain of the _British brandy_.
+
+The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served
+in the _cavalry_, as they are so expert in _making a charge_.
+
+A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived
+at _Mr. Bailey's, senior_, was shown to the _Old Bailey_, by a
+Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was
+his friend's levee.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+BENEFIT OF CORRECTION.
+
+A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools
+did not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that
+whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a
+boy _smart_.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+FRENCH AND ENGLISH.
+
+"_C'est la Soupe_," says one of the best of proverbs, "_qui fait le
+Soldat_;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our
+troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact,
+than their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery.
+The English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals,
+by which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt
+to a cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the
+same pot, and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than
+the simple _Roti_ could ever be.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+THE FAMILY SUIT.
+
+The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative
+practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform
+him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause
+which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years.
+Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran
+of the law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by
+this suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me,
+and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it
+would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your
+children and grand-children."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+PORK CHOPS.
+
+It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to
+summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other
+grotesque or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the
+feat by supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops.
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+ARDUOUS BAPTISM.
+
+An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman,
+who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of
+the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual,
+and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How
+difficult this child is to baptize!"
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+DULL READING.
+
+St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable
+dull reader. "_Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non
+inveniat_."
+
+       *       *       *       *       *
+
+
+_Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near
+Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market,
+Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers._
+
+
+
+***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT,
+AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828***
+
+
+******* This file should be named 10475.txt or 10475.zip *******
+
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