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| author | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:34:35 -0700 |
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| committer | Roger Frank <rfrank@pglaf.org> | 2025-10-15 04:34:35 -0700 |
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diff --git a/.gitattributes b/.gitattributes new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6833f05 --- /dev/null +++ b/.gitattributes @@ -0,0 +1,3 @@ +* text=auto +*.txt text +*.md text diff --git a/10475-0.txt b/10475-0.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ceacfe3 --- /dev/null +++ b/10475-0.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1530 @@ +*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10475 *** + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustration. + See 10475-h.htm or 10475-h.zip: + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h/10475-h.htm) + or + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h.zip) + + + + +THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION. + +VOL. 12, No. 326.] SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828. [PRICE 2d. + + + + * * * * * + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + +REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH. + + +Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of +classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the +New Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with +extraordinary zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on +all sides, but has received the addition of some magnificent public +edifices, while the access to it from every quarter has been greatly +facilitated and embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our +engraving is a mere vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most +superb of those additions. + +The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road +was long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this +quarter, the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming +an approach no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814, +however, a magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill, +between which and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was +formerly occupied with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect +the hill with Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an +elegant arch, called _Regent Bridge_, has been thrown over the hollow, +which makes the descent from the hill into this street easy and +agreeable. Thus, in place of being carried, as formerly, through long +and narrow streets, the great road from the east into Edinburgh sweeps +along the side of the steep and singular elevation of the Calton Hill; +whence the traveller has first a view of the Old Town, with its elevated +buildings crowning the summit of the adjacent ridges, and rising upon +the eye in imposing masses; and, afterwards, of the New Town finely +contrasted with the Old, in the regularity and elegance of its general +outline. + +_Regent Bridge_ was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is +semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five +feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the +difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The +roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great +arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported +by elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased +to open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and +the building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along +the bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on +which that memorable battle was fought. + +The engraving[1] is an interesting picture of classic beauty; and as the +"approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New London Bridge are now +becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope this entrance to our +metropolis will ultimately present a similar display of architectural +elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to yield in +comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that the +march of taste be quickened in this quarter. + + [1] from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt. + + * * * * * + + +ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER. + + + Weep, for the word is spoken-- + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd-- + The master chord is broken, + And the master's hand is cold! + Romance hath lost her minstrel, + No more his magic strain + Shall throw a sweeter spell around, + The legends of Almaine. + + His fame had flown before him + To many a foreign land, + His lays are sung by every tongue, + And harp'd by every hand! + He came to cull fresh laurels, + But fate was in their breath, + And turn'd his march of triumph + Into a dirge of death. + + O! all who knew him lov'd him, + For with his mighty mind, + He bore himself so meekly, + His heart it was so kind! + His wildly warbling melodies, + The storms that round them roll, + Are types of the simplicity + And grandeur of his soul. + + Though years of ceaseless suffering + Had worn him to a shade, + So patient was his spirit, + No wayward plaint he made. + E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare + His victim pure and mild; + And stole upon him quietly + As slumber o'er a child. + + Weep, for the word is spoken-- + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd-- + The master chord is broken, + And the master's hand is cold! + The master chord is broken, + And the master's hand is cold! + +PLANCHE. + + * * * * * + + +YOUNG NAPOLEON. + +_(For the Mirror.)_ + + +It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future +destinies of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To +use the words of the talented author of the _Improvisatrice_, "Poetry +needs no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be +uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware +that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed +the Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the +interest of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into +consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest +degree, interesting; they serve to display the _man_, divested of the +"pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot +be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the +world never gave him credit for:--_"Posterity will do me justice."_ + +I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at +St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was +carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his +society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his +solicitude during the period of seven years, "_For him alone,_" he said, +"_I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some +expectations on earth, they are also for him._" He has declared to +several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on +his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that +Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of +which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection. +He was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this +poem which had been circulated, and bought and procured them by every +means in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable +not a single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been +remarked, that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and +the idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more. +In neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred." + +VYVYAN. + + +TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON. + + + Delightful image of my much loved boy! + Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile! + No more, alas! will he enkindle joy, + Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile. + + My son! my darling son! wert thou but here, + My bosom should receive thy lovely form: + Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear: + Serenely mild behold the lowering storm. + + I'd be the partner of thy infant cares, + And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind; + Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years, + My wearied soul should an asylum find. + + My wrongs--my cares--should be forgot with thee, + My power--imperial dignities--renown-- + This rock itself would be a heaven to me; + Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown. + + O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame + Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name. + +(Signed.) NAPOLEON. + + +Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son." + + + O! Cherished image of my infant heir! + Thy surface does his lineaments impart:-- + But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare + His living form shall never glad my heart. + + My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer + The settled sadness of thy hapless sire! + Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear, + And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire. + + In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find; + With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own: + Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind, + Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne. + +(Signed.) NAPOLEON. + + * * * * * + + +THE COLOUR--BLUE. + +_(To the Editor of the Mirror.)_ + + +Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting _blue_, as +the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of persons, +it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that Bentley, in +his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the costume +of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5, for his +authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but +Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence +of the passage. + +_Twickenham._ H. H. + + * * * * * + + +EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS. + +_(For the Mirror.)_ + + +On the trial of _Henry Marshall_, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and +deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of +death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was +immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his +speech till a few hours preceding his execution. + +G. W. N. + + * * * * * + + +_July, 1736_--Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going armed in +disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis, +(reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where, +having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought +dead, was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to +be dug at some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as +they had put him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he +thrust back the lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed +his hands on the sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some +of the people, in their first surprise, were for knocking him on the +head; but the executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the +mob, thinking otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor +executioner, (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in +a miserable manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at +Bayswater, where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of +blood, and it was thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The +sheriffs' officers, believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the +place of execution before he was cut down. + +_Sept. 3, 1736._--Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were executed +this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was perceived to +have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen and +others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for, +immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he +had the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with +divers persons he knew, and to all appearance a perfect recovery was +expected. But notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in +great agony, his bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his +rolling from one side to the other. + +It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried +to Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited +him and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered +the manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember +his having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with +him. + +G. K. + + * * * * * + + +LOVE AND JOY. + +AN ALLEGORY. + + +In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants +descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among +the most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of +Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up +beneath their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all +nature seemed embellished by their presence; they were inseparable +companions, and their growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who +had decreed that a lasting union should be solemnized between them as +soon as they arrived at mature years. But in the meantime, the sons of +men deviated from their native innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the +earth with giant strides; and Astrea with her train of celestial +visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love alone remained, having +been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and conveyed by her to the +forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst the shepherds. But +Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded him to espouse +Sorrow, the daughter of Até. He complied with reluctance, for her +features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead contracted into +perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a wreath of cypress +and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom might be traced a +strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen and unamiable +features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of the father, +that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing. The maids +and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast was +observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was yet +an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom. +She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she +was beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but +inexpressibly sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some +wild and melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep, +for she took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of +the hamlet were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in +among them and captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness. +She wore on her head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted +with her mother's cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of +Helicon, her tears by chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the +muses' spring has tasted of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter +to follow the steps of her mother through the world, dropping balm into +the wounds she made, and binding up the hearts she had broken. She +follows with her hair loose, her bosom bare and throbbing, her garments +torn by the briars, and her feet bleeding with the roughness of the +path. The nymph is mortal, for so is her mother; and when she has +finished her destined course upon earth, they shall both expire +together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal and +long-betrothed bride. + + * * * * * + + + +THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER. + + +ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE. + +_(From a Correspondent.)_ + + +There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and +Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not +visited by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of +the formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre +of France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given +rise, determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the +neighbourhood. Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of +Nonnenworth, I made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of +sixteen miles, passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the +other white and slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the +valley of the Rhine narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales +which the road skirts, are sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly +covered with vines and fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing +in the tints of its leaf, and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that +its thick plantations present, yet there is a stiffness in the +regularity in which it grows, propped up by sticks; and it is so short, +that one's fancy as to its luxuriance, (especially if formed from such +poetry as _Childe Harold_,) is certainly disappointed. I made a +digression from the road up the little river Aar, which falls into the +Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture you cannot imagine. The +stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom rocky, and its banks, +for a considerable distance, are literally perpendicular rocks. The Aar +is a perfect specimen of the mountain torrent; it rises in the Eiffel +mountains; and, I am told, in the winter does much mischief by +inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh rivulets, particularly some +parts of the Dee. This _détour_ having taken up more time than I +expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in time for the supper at the +rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish wine, and the company of +an agreeable German tourist who was staying there, made ample amends for +the fatigues of the day. + +In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs +down from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of +pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees +scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of +which are composed of what is called, in the language of geology, +_tufa_, and in that of the country, _dukstein_, or _trass_. It is a +stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it +assumes a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried +throughout the valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it +is in great request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin +to the trade in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled +there about a century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower +part of the mass is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore +preferred by the quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose +and sandy, and unfit for use. You must not suppose the stream to be +clear like the Aar, for it is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same +colour, being in fact a river of trass in solution. The banks, however, +are picturesque and well wooded, particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old +castle of peculiar architecture, built on an elevated rock, and formerly +belonging to the family of Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is +surrounded with caverns and halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and +profusely ornamented with fine oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees. +You may almost fancy yourself on magic ground, and looking on a fairy +castle, so peculiar is the effect. I next reached Burgbrohl and +Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills, for the stone is in many +places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is a considerable trade in +them to Holland, and thence to England and other countries. Half an hour +next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg, one of the hills forming +the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a magnificent prospect on +the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood, with the old +six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel chain +enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to give me +a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence to +the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very +different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching +Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to +withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene +close under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines +sometime ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the +distance to be within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it +that + + "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view. + And robes the mountain in its azure hue." + +I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to +the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain +plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on +the eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel +of the river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks +entirely. This table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic +formation, and of a conical form, some of them having central funnels or +craters, from which the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete +are the Hirschenberg, near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that +village and Olburg, the Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which +last rises about one thousand feet above the level of the surrounding +surface. There are many others extending for some distance in the Eiffel +chain and in the vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to +guide the footsteps of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is +nearly circular and crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about +a mile and a quarter in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet, +but it is full of holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its +water is blueish, very cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been +examined by several geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the +famous Humboldt, and there is no doubt that this great reservoir is the +crater of an extinct volcano. The fragments and minerals thrown up on +the banks are analogous to those found in other volcanic countries; and +on one side (that towards Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued +lava, which is supposed to have flowed from the crater during the last +eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks +it not improbable that this may have been the eruption recorded by +Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as having ravaged the country of the +Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of Nero. I should not forget to +mention that there is a cavern within the basin of the lake, the air of +which is so stifling and noxious, that animals die if forced to remain +in it, and lights are extinguished by the gas--phenomena precisely +similar to those of the well-known Grotto del Cane, near Naples. + +While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a +word on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over +this country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or, +Carbal, and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the +latter district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the +difference of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial +soil in the other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a +deluge, is, I believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it +is the actual substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm +paste. The rain has always been observed to fall heavily after +eruptions, and the water running down the sides of the hills, has formed +this crust, which makes the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same +causes are in action now; and if ever the lake should rise so high as to +burst its banks, it would overflow the whole country, and carry terrible +destruction with it. Such an event was actually foreseen by the +sagacious monks who formerly inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal +nearly a mile long, to give the water vent; and the discharge by it +continues to this day. The abbey is now untenanted, and is in a +deplorable state of ruin; it was once celebrated for its hospitality and +a fine gallery of pictures; all, however, have vanished, and the ruins +are now the property of M. Delius, a magistrate of Treves. The situation +is so beautiful, surrounded as it is with fine timber, that one would +suppose it worth his while to repair the place, particularly as stone is +so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It forms, however, as it is, a +picturesque addition to the interest of the excursion to the lake, I +returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well satisfied with my +inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to the abbey is +little more than five miles, and it is one which I would advise all +tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they be +geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of. +Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the +funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to +the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us +that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being +one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such +signs of terror. + +D. + + * * * * * + + + +THE SKETCH-BOOK + + +GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE. + +_The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles._ + + +The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the +windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted +with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It +lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters +through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the +surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of +Bowood on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq. +Towards the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last +chalky cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles +of Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front +of the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond. + +This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and +descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the +bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into +the water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and +poplars, among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following +inscription:--"M.S. Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali +grassante, publicè missus, ipse miserrimè periit--1804. Fratri +posuit."--Passing round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels, +which leads to the green in front of the house, where, dipping a small +slope, the path passes near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on +the magnificent line of Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought +could not be well avoided: + + "When in thy sight another's vast domain + Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain? + Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state + Above the lowly, but beneath the great; + And still his name with gratitude revere, + Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here." + +The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn, +from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a +dark passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the +fountain. + +The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was +probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when +at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the +farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this +mitred lord. It has the appearance of being _monastic_, but a more +ornate capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of +1688. I must again venture to give the appropriate inscription:-- + + "To count the brief and unreturning hours, + This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers, + Which came forth in their beauty--smiled and died, + Blooming and withering round its ancient side. + Mortal, thy day is passing--see that flower, + And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!" + +The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers; +a step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with +crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as +their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey. + +The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the +gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I +add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by +the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most +exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers +of the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties +of the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine +Bingham, being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame +at the bar. The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy +his muse whose poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed +over the large Indian shell:-- + + "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar, + I drink the whelming tide no more; + But in this rock, remote and still, + Now serve to pour the murmuring rill. + Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept-- + Oh! like his song, who placed me here, + The sweetest song to Memory dear, + When life's tumultuous storms are past, + May we, to such sweet music, close at last + The eyelids that have wept!" + +Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic +stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a +narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with +fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on +which an hour-glass is carved. + +A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in +that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in +such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless +pride, tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters, +distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St. +John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters, +Sir Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy--poets as well +as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North, +Esq. + +Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:-- + + "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss + Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!" + +Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond, +there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century, +would have been idolatrous! + +To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may +be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the +reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen +the persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return, +and many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the +branches of that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let +us now rest; it stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden +which we have just perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard, +and looks on to an old sun-dial, once a _cross_. The _cross_ was found +broken at its foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I +have brought the interesting fragment again into light, and placed it +conspicuously opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I +think it not unlikely was planted by Townson on his _restoration_. The +accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four +steps at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have +been worn in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling, +by the forefathers of the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed. +From a seat near this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and +battlements of the church, on one side; and on the other you look over a +great extent of country. On a still summer's evening, the distant sound +of the hurrying coaches, on the great London road, are heard as they +pass to and from the metropolis. On this spot this last admonitory +inscription fronts you:-- + + "There lie the village dead, and there too I, + When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie. + Look round, the distant prospect is display'd, + Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade. + Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road, + But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!" + +_History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles._ + + * * * * * + + + +RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS. + +PAPER MARKS. + +[Illustration] + + +Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in +this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign +of Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture +existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a +paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book +printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled +"Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by +John Tate, jun. + +The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they +gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained, +though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. _Post_ +paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on +specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar +mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open _hand_ is a +very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is +considerably altered in size and texture. + +_Fool's-Cap_--the name is still continued though the original design of +a fool's cap is relinquished. + +_Pot Paper._--There were various designs of pots or drinking vessels; +this paper retains its proportions and size according to early +specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England. + +The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper +with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John +Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good. + +Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will +or caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other +non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head +surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe, +initials of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th +century and commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with +supporters. + + * * * * * + + +SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII. + + +The only alteration in the following is the difference of the +orthography which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are +extracts from a curious manuscript, containing directions for the +household of Henry VIII. + +"His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten, +or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the +stocks. + +"His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables, +forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's +houses, where he goes to visit. + +"Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie +all night on the ground before the kitchen fire. + +"No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the +ladies. + +"Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four. + +"The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging +or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime. + +"The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the +company of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal +person. + +"There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which +dishes and other things are often broken! + +"The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids. + +"The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient +being allowed to them. + +"Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's +chambers.[2] + +"The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale. + +"Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds. + +"Ordered--that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session of +parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal +displeasure." + +The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did, +perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous +manuscript. + +W. H. H. + + [2] Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants + to run about to warm themselves with different diversions + before going to bed. + + * * * * * + + +FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR. + + +In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard +_Forthave_, who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented +"_a vinegar_," which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from +this it may be concluded that the length of time has caused the above +corruption. The article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar." + +W. H. H. + + * * * * * + + +FISH. + + +Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical +reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element +congealed, or a jelly of water." + +It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to +touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should +not be enough left to regale their sovereign." + + * * * * * + + +A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION. + + +In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent +as much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a +tailor in Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming +into the shop, liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as +much for himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion. +The knight was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to +cut his gown as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's +was made "of the same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the +_gentleman's_ fashion again. + +C. F E. + + * * * * * + + +CONVEYANCING. + + +The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the +Cave of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary +and redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in +Macpelah, which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was +therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the +borders round about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a +modern conveyance cannot well be more minutely characterized. + + * * * * * + + + +SPIRIT OF THE +PUBLIC JOURNALS + + +THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT. + + "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?" + +GAY. + + + I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance + Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science! + They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics, + And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics. + + They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine, + While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring-- + And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short, + With their chemical use of the still and retort. + + Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.) + For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-. + And to make both ends meet they give little assistance, + With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance. + + They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish, + Except just the bounds of their own native parish; + And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn, + While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern. + + Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours, + The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers; + Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains, + And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains. + + They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction-- + They drive us from home by electric attraction-- + And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity, + I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity. + + When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving, + Anatomy leads them to give up the carving; + And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy, + While they study the line of the _os humeri_. + + If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap, + We awake with a din about limestone and trap; + And the fire is extinguished past regeneration, + For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation. + + 'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen, + Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen, + Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia, + And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia. + + The first son becomes half a fool in reality, + While the mother is watching his large ideality; + And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion, + For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution. + + I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning, + Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning; + The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,-- + So here's to plain English!--a plague on their ologies! + +_London Mag_. + + * * * * * + + +THE EDITOR'S ROOM. + +_July 28, 1828._ + + +And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on +Saturday next?--We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and Pasta +is going--and Velluti is out of voice--and they are playing tragedies at +the Haymarket--and Vauxhall will never be dry again--and the Funny Club +are drenched to their skins every day--and "the sweet shady side of Pall +Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be dull in the country if this +weather continue--but not so dirty as upon the Macadam. So go. + +We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after +business. It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland, +and Turkey, and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish. +The stocks are rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the +Squirearchy are beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned. +That will be a sad drawback from the delights of a two-shilling +quartern-loaf. For ourselves, we have plenty of work cut out for us, in +this our abiding place. The fewer the books which are published, the +more we shall have to draw upon our own genius; and the duller the +season, the more vivacious must we be to put our readers in spirits. But +we have consolation approaching in the shape of amusing work. +Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers will begin to lie, +"like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious murders, what +heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the Paddington +Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's doors! +We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;--and +we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if +they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont +to do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even +changing the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown +themselves when parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own +hands, and write a "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor +pretenders to the secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the +field.--Ibid. + + * * * * * + + +AWKWARDNESS. + + +Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of +life. There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the +smallest approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,--he hobbles, or +jumps, or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps--but creeping, sidling, +limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,--he +fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back +of it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It +is the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that +individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up +and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at +an amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees, +flying like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to +another, destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good, +gray kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and +Willis's shop. The horse begins to gallop--Bless our soul! the gentleman +will decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like +a peal of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own +shoulders, and not poking out between your charger's ears; and your +horse ought to use _its_ exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very +cold day, you have cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your +brows, as if you had run the distance in half the time on foot. + +People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step +into this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of +such nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had +breakfasted on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give +him a shake like a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give +yourself a rest? Poor man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to +come! But the other gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered +his body. Every time my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his +twig with a few yards of twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a +whupp," the suddenness of the accelerated motion makes his great, round +head flop from the centre of his short, thick neck, and come with such +violence on the unstuffed back, that his hat is sent down upon the +bridge of his nose with a vehemence which might well nigh carry it away. +Do you say that man is capable of taking a _pleasure_ ride? Before he +has been bumped three miles, every pull of wind will be jerked out of +his body, and by the time he has arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead +man. If that man prospers in the world, he commits suicide the moment he +sets up his carriage. + +We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of +thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in +the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking +all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal, +the unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms, +crouches up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face, +kicks out his legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes +back to the place puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's +burst. Is this dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can +this be a specimen of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert +confirmation, which sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow, +and makes beauty float before our ravished senses, stealing our +admiration by the gracefulness of each new motion, till at last our +souls thrill to each warning movement, and dissolve into ecstasy and +love? + +People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman +might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of +cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the +velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its +tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands +swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while +the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism +detained the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to +move. After you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze +it, as if it were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not +withdraw it to your side, and keep it in the station where nature and +comfort alike tell you it ought to be? Do you think your breeches' +pocket the most proper place to push your daddle into? Do you put it +there to guard the solitary half-crown from the rapacity of your friend; +or do you put it across your breast in case of an unexpected winder from +your apparently peaceable acquaintance on the opposite side? + +Is it not quite absurd that a man can't even take a glass of wine +without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at +breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of +wine after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The +egg lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the +table, you have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating +nutriment a distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a +confoundedly small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To +avoid this, you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have +to lay it down again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the +whole, we disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old +mode at Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and +purified with a glass of hot rum. + +But the glass of wine--can anything be more easy? One would think +not--but if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend, +you will see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts +to do with ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest +thing in the world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps +the decanter, leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the +glittering crystal, which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then +remark at what an acute angle he holds his right elbow as if he were +meditating an assault on his neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the +bottle down again as if his object were to shake the pure ichor, and +make it muddy as his own brains. Mark how the animal seizes his +glass,--by heavens he will break it into a thousand fragments! See how +he bows his lubberly head to meet half way the glorious cargo; how he +slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning gullet, and chucks down the +glass so as almost to break its stem after he has emptied it of its +contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil! Call you that taking a +glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your gullet as you would put +small beer into a barrel,--but it is not--oh, no! it is not taking, so +as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or glowing, warm, tinted, +beautiful caveza! + +A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady, +perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see +when they enter the room, how differently they behave.--How gracefully +she waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and +beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to +her on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the +white of his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle +dangle on his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how +he ducks to the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to +his wife, who, by this time is giving a most spirited account of the +state of the roads, and the civility of the postilions near the Borders. + +Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes +tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five +feet eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of +their back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very +ground. Let no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of +ours in Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation +by a sound which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry +or a troop of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the +window, and are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high +stumping on the pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and +we stake our credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of +his majesty's subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height--We mean +from five feet eleven (our own height) up to six feet three. + +Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural, +and therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall +man, if he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if +it be buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling +and absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and +leads us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a +specimen of that rare bird, the flying tailor. + +We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is +famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual +share, we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid +view in a troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a +walking-stick chair is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom +or ever remain at home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some +"bushy bourne or mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior +the female is to the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter +of an hour after the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to +start, each with her walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule +dangling from her wrist. The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with +their great, heavy Wellingtons, which, after walking half a mile, pinch +them at the toe, and make the pleasure excursion confine them to the +house for weeks. Then some fool, the first gate or stile we come to, is +sure to show off his vaulting, and upsets himself in the ditch on the +opposite side, instead of going quietly over and helping the damosels +across. And then, if he does attempt the polite, how awkwardly the +monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow ditch with a plank across +it--He goes only half way, and standing in the middle of the plank, +stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting maiden so forcibly, +that before he has time to get out of the way, the impetus his own tug +has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock and nettles, +which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found at the +thoroughfares in every field. + +We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and +the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When +people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly _to +the object_, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it is +wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has +concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly +loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling +behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never +remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the +_mauvaise honte_ with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered +souchong? Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband. + +Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of +its own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable +situation than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not +in the heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a +solitary male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion +appears absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner +dressed out in satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in +gingham gowns or calico prints, every morning of your life ever after. +There she is, supported by her old father, decked out in his +old-fashioned brown coat, with a wig of the same colour, beautifully +relieving the burning redness of his huge projecting ears; and the +mother, puffed up like an overgrown bolster, encouraging the trembling +girl, and joining her maiden aunts of full fifty years, in telling her +to take courage, for it is what they must all come to. Bride's-maids and +mutual friends make up the company; and there, standing out before this +assemblage, you assent to everything the curate, or, if you are rich +enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say, shewing your knock-knees +in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to an admiring bevy of the +servants of both families, laughing and tittering from the squire's pew +in the gallery. Then the parting!--The mother's injunctions to the +juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to write within the +week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you forgot +nothing?"--the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of eyes! By +Hercules!--there is but one situation more unpleasant _in_ this world, +and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and jailor, +preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter _out_ of it. The lady +all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep from +creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her +nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of +delicacy and reserve. + +_Blackwood's Magazine_. + + * * * * * + + + +MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS. + + +CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS. + +(_From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in +China_.) + + +BURIAL. + +No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial +order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign +of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the +empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the +Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south. + + +THE NEW YEAR. + +The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the +time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the +greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the +people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares +and their labours at the new year. + +The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and +creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are +abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all +smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors. + +On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals +of office, throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the +20th of the first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of +rest from the ordinary official business of government. They attend, +however, to extraordinary cases. + +During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various +domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the +hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires. + +On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and +Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the +best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down, +and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the +ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they +can, and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit +all the gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense, +gilt paper, make bows, and prostrate pray. + +These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about +daylight in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a +red paper card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In +the house, sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and +appear before the heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new +year. + +After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting, +idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and +workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the +necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton, +generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary +channel. + + +MEETING THE SPRING. + +February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called +Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters +the 15º of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring +season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the +district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an +open chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs +seated among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession. + +He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the +following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar +style. There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having +been paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel +its labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this +official priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves +it to the populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces; +and so the foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this +ancient usage is supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year. + + +PAWNBROKING. + +Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided +into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior +walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other +granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with +similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the +government; but there are others, we are informed, that exist without +this sanction, and are directed to the relief of the mercantile +interest. These assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of +an Equitable Loan Company, making advances upon cargoes and large +deposits of goods. + +These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over +the door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but, +whether they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of +property, we will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem, +with a grace of three months. + + +TORTURE. + +In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the +magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of +men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small +apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are +many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in +every part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many +instances of suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured +till death ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the +emperor, against a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a +confession of homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province, +that on the 24th of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton, +having received an appointment for his high literary attainments, to the +magistracy of a Heen district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a +young man, on his bridal day, to the torture, because he would not +resign the band of music which he had engaged to accompany, according to +law and usage, his intended wife to his father's house. The young man's +name was Kwanfa. He died under the torture, and the affrighted +magistrate went and hanged himself. + + +CHINESE PRISON. + +Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private +apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and +fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall, +till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over, +the fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have +not money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is +every alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of +punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper) +to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners +are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered +down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth, +whilst the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This +place of torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a +term equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell." + + +TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS. + +It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the +same light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow +foreigners entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is +no law against walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the +Europeans in China to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally +violate them, and attempt a longer walk. Once round the city walls has +frequently been effected, but always at the risk of a scuffle, an +assault and battery, from the idle and mischievous among the native +population. On former occasions, some of the foreign tourists have +returned to the factories relieved of the burden of their watches and +clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage round, robbed of +his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked. + +A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning, +and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance +round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards, +two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but +they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of +men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats, +and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really +endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about, +and fight and run alternately the distance of several miles. + +We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised +at the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they +effected their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on +their guard; and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar +scrape, they cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger. + + * * * * * + + + +THE GATHERER + + "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles." + +SHAKSPEARE. + + +BAPTISMAL PROMISES. + +One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on +being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of +qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her, +said, with much _naiveté_, "I've a yeard that they promised to give me +hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though." + + * * * * * + + +A GOOD WIFE. + +The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble +family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and +inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a +seat belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.--_Taken +from Mist's Journal_. + +"Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir +devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and +shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was +still the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my +desires, disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in +apparence above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit, +sweetly tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech, +blest with silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave +fashion to win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex; +entyre with few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and +persons in the honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as +giving the occasion: Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir +greatest extremity most patient, sending up hir pure soule with many +zealous prayers and hymnes to hir maker; powring forth hir passionate +heart with affectionate streams of love to hir"-- + +"Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time +his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any +further. + +T. H. + + * * * * * + +At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one +article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by +no means desirable--_a new drop_. + + * * * * * + + +BRITISH TARS, + +Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to +concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable +association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote +will exemplify:--Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some +of a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in +London, the words "_Peace and Concord_" figured at full length in +characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, _Conquered_!" exclaimed an +honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words; +"shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '_Conquered_' yet?" and so +saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil +explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored +Peace, and allowed Concord to continue. + + * * * * * + + +REMEDY FOR DULNESS. + +Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a +thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out +of company." + + * * * * * + + +NATIONAL COMPLAINTS. + +The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the _French roast beef_; the +Frenchmen in London complain of the _British brandy_. + +The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served +in the _cavalry_, as they are so expert in _making a charge_. + +A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived +at _Mr. Bailey's, senior_, was shown to the _Old Bailey_, by a +Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was +his friend's levee. + + * * * * * + + +BENEFIT OF CORRECTION. + +A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools +did not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that +whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a +boy _smart_. + + * * * * * + + +FRENCH AND ENGLISH. + +"_C'est la Soupe_," says one of the best of proverbs, "_qui fait le +Soldat_;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our +troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact, +than their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery. +The English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals, +by which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt +to a cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the +same pot, and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than +the simple _Rôti_ could ever be. + + * * * * * + + +THE FAMILY SUIT. + +The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative +practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform +him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause +which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years. +Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran +of the law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by +this suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me, +and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it +would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your +children and grand-children." + + * * * * * + + +PORK CHOPS. + +It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to +summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other +grotesque or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the +feat by supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops. + + * * * * * + + +ARDUOUS BAPTISM. + +An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman, +who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of +the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual, +and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How +difficult this child is to baptize!" + + * * * * * + + +DULL READING. + +St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable +dull reader. "_Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non +inveniat_." + + * * * * * + + +_Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near +Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, +Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers._ + +*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10475 *** diff --git a/10475-h/10475-h.htm b/10475-h/10475-h.htm new file mode 100644 index 0000000..89ba87c --- /dev/null +++ b/10475-h/10475-h.htm @@ -0,0 +1,2033 @@ +<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?> + +<!DOCTYPE html + PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Strict//EN" + "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-strict.dtd" > + +<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml"> + <head> + <title> + The Project Gutenberg eBook of The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and + Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 326, August 9, 1828, by Various + </title> + <style type="text/css" xml:space="preserve"> +/*//<![CDATA[*/ + + <!-- + body {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%;} + p {text-align: justify;} + blockquote {text-align: justify;} + h1,h2,h3,h4,h5,h6 {text-align: center;} + pre {font-size: 0.7em;} + + hr {text-align: center; width: 50%;} + html>body hr {margin-right: 25%; margin-left: 25%; width: 50%;} + hr.full {width: 100%;} + html>body hr.full {margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; width: 100%;} + + .note, .footnote + {margin-left: 10%; margin-right: 10%; font-size: 0.9em;} + + span.pagenum + {position: absolute; left: 1%; right: 91%; font-size: 8pt;} + + .poem + {margin-left:10%; margin-right:10%; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: left;} + .poem .stanza {margin: 1em 0em 1em 0em;} + .poem p {margin: 0; padding-left: 3em; text-indent: -3em;} + .poem p.i2 {margin-left: 1em;} + + .figure + {padding: 1em; margin: 0; text-align: center; font-size: 0.8em; margin: auto;} + .figure img + {border: none;} + .figure p + a:link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + link {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:visited {color:blue; + text-decoration:none} + a:hover {color:red} + + --> +/*//]]>*/ +</style> + </head> + <body> +<div>*** START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10475 ***</div> + <h1> + The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and + Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 326, August 9, 1828, by Various + </h1> + AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828*** + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h3> + E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell,<br /> and the Prooject + Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team + </h3> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <p> + <span class="pagenum"><a id="page81" name="page81"></a>[pg 97]</span> + </p> + <h1> + THE MIRROR<br /> OF<br /> LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION. + </h1> + <hr class="full" /> + <table width="100%"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <b>Vol. 12. No. 326.</b> + </td> + <td align="center"> + <b>SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828.</b> + </td> + <td align="right"> + <b>[PRICE 2d.</b> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH. + </h2> + <div class="figure" style="width:75%;"> + <a href="images/326-1.png"><img width="75%" src="images/326-1.png" alt="" /></a> + </div> + <p> + Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of + classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the New + Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with extraordinary + zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on all sides, but + has received the addition of some magnificent public edifices, while the + access to it from every quarter has been greatly facilitated and + embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our engraving is a mere + vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most superb of those + additions. + </p> + <p> + The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road was + long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this quarter, + the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming an approach + no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814, however, a + magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill, between which + and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was formerly occupied + with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect the hill with + Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an elegant arch, + called <i>Regent Bridge</i>, has been thrown over the hollow, which makes + the descent from the hill into this street easy and agreeable. Thus, in + place of being carried, as formerly, through long and narrow streets, the + great road from <span class="pagenum"><a id="page82" name="page82"></a>[pg + 82]</span>the east into Edinburgh sweeps along the side of the steep and + singular elevation of the Calton Hill; whence the traveller has first a + view of the Old Town, with its elevated buildings crowning the summit of + the adjacent ridges, and rising upon the eye in imposing masses; and, + afterwards, of the New Town finely contrasted with the Old, in the + regularity and elegance of its general outline. + </p> + <p> + <i>Regent Bridge</i> was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is + semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five + feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the + difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The + roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great + arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported by + elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased to + open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and the + building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along the + bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on which + that memorable battle was fought. + </p> + <p> + The engraving<a id="footnotetag1" name="footnotetag1"></a><a + href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a> is an interesting picture of classic + beauty; and as the "approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New + London Bridge are now becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope + this entrance to our metropolis will ultimately present a similar display + of architectural elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to + yield in comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that + the march of taste be quickened in this quarter. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER. + </h3> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Weep, for the word is spoken— + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd— + </p> + <p> + The master chord is broken, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And the master's hand is cold! + </p> + <p> + Romance hath lost her minstrel, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + No more his magic strain + </p> + <p> + Shall throw a sweeter spell around, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + The legends of Almaine. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + His fame had flown before him + </p> + <p class="i2"> + To many a foreign land, + </p> + <p> + His lays are sung by every tongue, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And harp'd by every hand! + </p> + <p> + He came to cull fresh laurels, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + But fate was in their breath, + </p> + <p> + And turn'd his march of triumph + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Into a dirge of death. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + O! all who knew him lov'd him, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + For with his mighty mind, + </p> + <p> + He bore himself so meekly, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + His heart it was so kind! + </p> + <p> + His wildly warbling melodies, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + The storms that round them roll, + </p> + <p> + Are types of the simplicity + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And grandeur of his soul. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Though years of ceaseless suffering + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Had worn him to a shade, + </p> + <p> + So patient was his spirit, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + No wayward plaint he made. + </p> + <p> + E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare + </p> + <p class="i2"> + His victim pure and mild; + </p> + <p> + And stole upon him quietly + </p> + <p class="i2"> + As slumber o'er a child. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Weep, for the word is spoken— + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd— + </p> + <p> + The master chord is broken, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And the master's hand is cold! + </p> + <p> + The master chord is broken, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And the master's hand is cold! + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + PLANCHE. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + YOUNG NAPOLEON. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(For the Mirror.)</i> + </h4> + <p> + It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future destinies + of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To use the + words of the talented author of the <i>Improvisatrice</i>, "Poetry needs + no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be + uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware + that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed the + Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the interest + of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into + consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest + degree, interesting; they serve to display the <i>man</i>, divested of the + "pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot + be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the + world never gave him credit for:—<i>"Posterity will do me justice."</i> + </p> + <p> + I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at + St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was + carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his + society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his + solicitude during the period of seven years, "<i>For him alone,</i>" he + said, "<i>I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some + expectations on earth, they are also for him.</i>" He has declared to + several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on + his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that + Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of + which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection. He + was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this poem + which had been circulated, and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page83" + name="page83"></a>[pg 83]</span> bought and procured them by every means + in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable not a + single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been remarked, + that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and the + idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more. In + neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred." + </p> + <p> + VYVYAN. + </p> + <h3> + TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON. + </h3> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Delightful image of my much loved boy! + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile! + </p> + <p> + No more, alas! will he enkindle joy, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile. + </p> + <p> + My son! my darling son! wert thou but here, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + My bosom should receive thy lovely form: + </p> + <p> + Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear: + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Serenely mild behold the lowering storm. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + I'd be the partner of thy infant cares, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind; + </p> + <p> + Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + My wearied soul should an asylum find. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + My wrongs—my cares—should be forgot with thee, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + My power—imperial dignities—renown— + </p> + <p> + This rock itself would be a heaven to me; + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name. + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + (Signed.) NAPOLEON. + </p> + <p> + Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son." + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + O! Cherished image of my infant heir! + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Thy surface does his lineaments impart:— + </p> + <p> + But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare + </p> + <p class="i2"> + His living form shall never glad my heart. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer + </p> + <p class="i2"> + The settled sadness of thy hapless sire! + </p> + <p> + Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find; + </p> + <p class="i2"> + With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own: + </p> + <p> + Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind, + </p> + <p> + Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne. + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + (Signed.) NAPOLEON. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + THE COLOUR—BLUE. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(To the Editor of the Mirror.)</i> + </h4> + <p> + Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting <i>blue</i>, + as the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of + persons, it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that + Bentley, in his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the + costume of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5, + for his authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but + Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence of + the passage. + </p> + <p> + <i>Twickenham.</i> H. H. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(For the Mirror.)</i> + </h4> + <p> + On the trial of <i>Henry Marshall</i>, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and + deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of + death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was + immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his + speech till a few hours preceding his execution. + </p> + <p> + G. W. N. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <i>July, 1736</i>—Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going + armed in disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis, + (reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where, + having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought dead, + was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to be dug at + some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as they had put + him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he thrust back the + lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed his hands on the + sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some of the people, in + their first surprise, were for knocking him on the head; but the + executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the mob, thinking + otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor executioner, + (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in a miserable + manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at Bayswater, + where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of blood, and it was + thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The sheriffs' officers, + believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the place of execution + before he was cut down. + </p> + <p> + <i>Sept. 3, 1736.</i>—Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were + executed this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was + perceived to have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen + and others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for, + immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he had + the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with divers + persons he knew, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page84" name="page84"></a>[pg + 84]</span> and to all appearance a perfect recovery was expected. But + notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in great agony, his + bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his rolling from one side + to the other. + </p> + <p> + It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried to + Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited him + and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered the + manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember his + having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with him. + </p> + <p> + G. K. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + LOVE AND JOY. + </h3> + <h4> + AN ALLEGORY. + </h4> + <p> + In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants + descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among the + most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of + Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up beneath + their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all nature seemed + embellished by their presence; they were inseparable companions, and their + growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who had decreed that a lasting + union should be solemnized between them as soon as they arrived at mature + years. But in the meantime, the sons of men deviated from their native + innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the earth with giant strides; and Astrea + with her train of celestial visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love + alone remained, having been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and + conveyed by her to the forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst + the shepherds. But Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded + him to espouse Sorrow, the daughter of Até. He complied with + reluctance, for her features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead + contracted into perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a + wreath of cypress and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom + might be traced a strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen + and unamiable features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of + the father, that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing. + The maids and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast + was observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was + yet an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom. + She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she was + beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but inexpressibly + sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some wild and + melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep, for she + took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of the hamlet + were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in among them and + captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness. She wore on her + head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted with her mother's + cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of Helicon, her tears by + chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the muses' spring has tasted + of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter to follow the steps of her + mother through the world, dropping balm into the wounds she made, and + binding up the hearts she had broken. She follows with her hair loose, her + bosom bare and throbbing, her garments torn by the briars, and her feet + bleeding with the roughness of the path. The nymph is mortal, for so is + her mother; and when she has finished her destined course upon earth, they + shall both expire together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal + and long-betrothed bride. + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER. + </h2> + <h3> + ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(From a Correspondent.)</i> + </h4> + <p> + There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and + Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not visited + by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of the + formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre of + France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given rise, + determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the neighbourhood. + Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of Nonnenworth, I + made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of sixteen miles, + passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the other white and + slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the valley of the Rhine + narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales which the road skirts, are + sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly covered with vines and + fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing in the tints of its leaf, + and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that its thick plantations + present, yet there is a stiffness in the regularity <span class="pagenum"><a + id="page85" name="page85"></a>[pg 85]</span> in which it grows, propped up + by sticks; and it is so short, that one's fancy as to its luxuriance, + (especially if formed from such poetry as <i>Childe Harold</i>,) is + certainly disappointed. I made a digression from the road up the little + river Aar, which falls into the Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture + you cannot imagine. The stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom + rocky, and its banks, for a considerable distance, are literally + perpendicular rocks. The Aar is a perfect specimen of the mountain + torrent; it rises in the Eiffel mountains; and, I am told, in the winter + does much mischief by inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh + rivulets, particularly some parts of the Dee. This <i>détour</i> + having taken up more time than I expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in + time for the supper at the rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish + wine, and the company of an agreeable German tourist who was staying + there, made ample amends for the fatigues of the day. + </p> + <p> + In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs down + from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of + pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees + scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of which + are composed of what is called, in the language of geology, <i>tufa</i>, + and in that of the country, <i>dukstein</i>, or <i>trass</i>. It is a + stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it assumes + a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried throughout the + valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it is in great + request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin to the trade + in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled there about a + century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower part of the mass + is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore preferred by the + quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose and sandy, and unfit + for use. You must not suppose the stream to be clear like the Aar, for it + is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same colour, being in fact a river + of trass in solution. The banks, however, are picturesque and well wooded, + particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old castle of peculiar architecture, + built on an elevated rock, and formerly belonging to the family of + Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is surrounded with caverns and + halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and profusely ornamented with fine + oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees. You may almost fancy yourself on + magic ground, and looking on a fairy castle, so peculiar is the effect. I + next reached Burgbrohl and Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills, + for the stone is in many places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is + a considerable trade in them to Holland, and thence to England and other + countries. Half an hour next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg, + one of the hills forming the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a + magnificent prospect on the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood, + with the old six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel + chain enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to + give me a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence + to the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very + different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching + Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to + withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene close + under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines sometime + ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the distance to be + within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it that + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view. + </p> + <p> + And robes the mountain in its azure hue." + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to + the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain + plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on the + eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel of the + river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks entirely. This + table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic formation, and of a + conical form, some of them having central funnels or craters, from which + the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete are the Hirschenberg, + near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that village and Olburg, the + Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which last rises about one + thousand feet above the level of the surrounding surface. There are many + others extending for some distance in the Eiffel chain and in the + vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to guide the footsteps + of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is nearly circular and + crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about a mile and a quarter + in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet, but it is full of + holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its water is blueish, very + cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been examined by several + geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the <span class="pagenum"><a + id="page86" name="page86"></a>[pg 86]</span> famous Humboldt, and there is + no doubt that this great reservoir is the crater of an extinct volcano. + The fragments and minerals thrown up on the banks are analogous to those + found in other volcanic countries; and on one side (that towards + Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued lava, which is supposed to + have flowed from the crater during the last eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose + opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks it not improbable that this + may have been the eruption recorded by Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as + having ravaged the country of the Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of + Nero. I should not forget to mention that there is a cavern within the + basin of the lake, the air of which is so stifling and noxious, that + animals die if forced to remain in it, and lights are extinguished by the + gas—phenomena precisely similar to those of the well-known Grotto + del Cane, near Naples. + </p> + <p> + While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a word + on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over this + country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or, Carbal, + and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the latter + district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the difference + of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial soil in the + other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a deluge, is, I + believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it is the actual + substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm paste. The rain has + always been observed to fall heavily after eruptions, and the water + running down the sides of the hills, has formed this crust, which makes + the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same causes are in action now; and + if ever the lake should rise so high as to burst its banks, it would + overflow the whole country, and carry terrible destruction with it. Such + an event was actually foreseen by the sagacious monks who formerly + inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal nearly a mile long, to give the + water vent; and the discharge by it continues to this day. The abbey is + now untenanted, and is in a deplorable state of ruin; it was once + celebrated for its hospitality and a fine gallery of pictures; all, + however, have vanished, and the ruins are now the property of M. Delius, a + magistrate of Treves. The situation is so beautiful, surrounded as it is + with fine timber, that one would suppose it worth his while to repair the + place, particularly as stone is so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It + forms, however, as it is, a picturesque addition to the interest of the + excursion to the lake, I returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well + satisfied with my inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to + the abbey is little more than five miles, and it is one which I would + advise all tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they + be geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of. + Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the + funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to + the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us + that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being + one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such + signs of terror. + </p> + <p> + D. + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + THE SKETCH-BOOK + </h2> + <h3> + GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles.</i> + </h4> + <p> + The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the + windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted + with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It + lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters + through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the + surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of Bowood + on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq. Towards + the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last chalky + cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles of + Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front of + the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond. + </p> + <p> + This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and + descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the + bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into the + water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and poplars, + among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following inscription:—"M.S. + Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali grassante, publicè + missus, ipse miserrimè periit—1804. Fratri posuit."—Passing + round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels, which leads to the + green in front of the house, where, dipping a small slope, the path passes + near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on the magnificent line + <span class="pagenum"><a id="page87" name="page87"></a>[pg 87]</span>of + Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought could not be well + avoided: + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "When in thy sight another's vast domain + </p> + <p> + Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain? + </p> + <p> + Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state + </p> + <p> + Above the lowly, but beneath the great; + </p> + <p> + And still his name with gratitude revere, + </p> + <p> + Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here." + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn, + from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a dark + passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the + fountain. + </p> + <p> + The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was + probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when + at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the + farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this mitred + lord. It has the appearance of being <i>monastic</i>, but a more ornate + capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of 1688. I must + again venture to give the appropriate inscription:— + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "To count the brief and unreturning hours, + </p> + <p> + This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers, + </p> + <p> + Which came forth in their beauty—smiled and died, + </p> + <p> + Blooming and withering round its ancient side. + </p> + <p> + Mortal, thy day is passing—see that flower, + </p> + <p> + And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers; a + step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with + crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as + their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey. + </p> + <p> + The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the + gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I + add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by + the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most + exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers of + the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties of + the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine Bingham, + being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame at the bar. + The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy his muse whose + poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed over the large + Indian shell:— + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar, + </p> + <p> + I drink the whelming tide no more; + </p> + <p> + But in this rock, remote and still, + </p> + <p> + Now serve to pour the murmuring rill. + </p> + <p> + Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept— + </p> + <p> + Oh! like his song, who placed me here, + </p> + <p> + The sweetest song to Memory dear, + </p> + <p> + When life's tumultuous storms are past, + </p> + <p> + May we, to such sweet music, close at last + </p> + <p> + The eyelids that have wept!" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic + stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a + narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with + fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on + which an hour-glass is carved. + </p> + <p> + A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in + that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in + such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless pride, + tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters, + distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St. + John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters, Sir + Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy—poets as well + as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North, + Esq. + </p> + <p> + Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:— + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss + </p> + <p> + Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond, + there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century, + would have been idolatrous! + </p> + <p> + To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may + be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the + reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen the + persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return, and + many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the branches of + that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let us now rest; it + stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden which we have just + perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard, and looks on to an old + sun-dial, once a <i>cross</i>. The <i>cross</i> was found broken at its + foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I have brought the + interesting fragment again into light, and placed it conspicuously + opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I think it not + unlikely was planted by Townson on his <i>restoration</i>. The + accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four steps + at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have been worn + in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling, by the + forefathers of <span class="pagenum"><a id="page88" name="page88"></a>[pg + 88]</span> the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed. From a seat near + this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and battlements of the church, + on one side; and on the other you look over a great extent of country. On + a still summer's evening, the distant sound of the hurrying coaches, on + the great London road, are heard as they pass to and from the metropolis. + On this spot this last admonitory inscription fronts you:— + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "There lie the village dead, and there too I, + </p> + <p> + When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie. + </p> + <p> + Look round, the distant prospect is display'd, + </p> + <p> + Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade. + </p> + <p> + Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road, + </p> + <p> + But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <h4> + <i>History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles.</i> + </h4> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS. + </h2> + <h3> + PAPER MARKS. + </h3> + <div class="figure" style="width:75%;"> + <a href="images/326-2.png"><img width="75%" src="images/326-2.png" alt="" /></a> + </div> + <p> + Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in + this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign of + Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture + existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a + paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book + printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled + "Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by + John Tate, jun. + </p> + <p> + The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they + gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained, + though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. <i>Post</i> + paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on + specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar + mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open <i>hand</i> is a + very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is + considerably altered in size and texture. + </p> + <p> + <i>Fool's-Cap</i>—the name is still continued though the original + design of a fool's cap is relinquished. + </p> + <p> + <span class="pagenum"><a id="page89" name="page89"></a>[pg 89]</span> + </p> + <p> + <i>Pot Paper.</i>—There were various designs of pots or drinking + vessels; this paper retains its proportions and size according to early + specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England. + </p> + <p> + The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper + with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John + Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good. + </p> + <p> + Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will or + caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other + non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head + surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe, initials + of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th century and + commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with supporters. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII. + </h3> + <p> + The only alteration in the following is the difference of the orthography + which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are extracts from + a curious manuscript, containing directions for the household of + HenryVIII. + </p> + <p> + "His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten, + or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the + stocks. + </p> + <p> + "His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables, + forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's houses, + where he goes to visit. + </p> + <p> + "Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie + all night on the ground before the kitchen fire. + </p> + <p> + "No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the ladies. + </p> + <p> + "Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four. + </p> + <p> + "The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging + or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime. + </p> + <p> + "The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the company + of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal person. + </p> + <p> + "There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which + dishes and other things are often broken! + </p> + <p> + "The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids. + </p> + <p> + "The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient being + allowed to them. + </p> + <p> + "Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's chambers.<a + id="footnotetag2" name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a> + </p> + <p> + "The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale. + </p> + <p> + "Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds. + </p> + <p> + "Ordered—that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session + of parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal + displeasure." + </p> + <p> + The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did, + perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous + manuscript. + </p> + <p> + W. H. H. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR. + </h3> + <p> + In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard <i>Forthave</i>, + who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented "<i>a vinegar</i>," + which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from this it may be + concluded that the length of time has caused the above corruption. The + article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar." + </p> + <p> + W. H. H. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + FISH. + </h3> + <p> + Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical + reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element + congealed, or a jelly of water." + </p> + <p> + It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to + touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should not + be enough left to regale their sovereign." + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION. + </h3> + <p> + In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent as + much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a tailor in + Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming into the shop, + liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as much for + himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion. The knight + was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to cut his gown + as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's was made "of the + same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the <i>gentleman's</i> + fashion again. + </p> + <p> + C. F E. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + CONVEYANCING. + </h3> + <p> + The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the + Cave <span class="pagenum"><a id="page90" name="page90"></a>[pg 90]</span> + of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary and + redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in Macpelah, + which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was therein, and + all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the borders round + about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a modern conveyance + cannot well be more minutely characterized. + </p> + <hr /> + <h2> + SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS + </h2> + <h3> + THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT. + </h3> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + GAY. + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance + </p> + <p> + Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science! + </p> + <p> + They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics, + </p> + <p> + And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine, + </p> + <p> + While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring— + </p> + <p> + And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short, + </p> + <p> + With their chemical use of the still and retort. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.) + </p> + <p> + For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-. + </p> + <p> + And to make both ends meet they give little assistance, + </p> + <p> + With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish, + </p> + <p> + Except just the bounds of their own native parish; + </p> + <p> + And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn, + </p> + <p> + While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours, + </p> + <p> + The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers; + </p> + <p> + Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains, + </p> + <p> + And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction— + </p> + <p> + They drive us from home by electric attraction— + </p> + <p> + And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity, + </p> + <p> + I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving, + </p> + <p> + Anatomy leads them to give up the carving; + </p> + <p> + And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy, + </p> + <p> + While they study the line of the <i>os humeri</i>. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap, + </p> + <p> + We awake with a din about limestone and trap; + </p> + <p> + And the fire is extinguished past regeneration, + </p> + <p> + For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + 'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen, + </p> + <p> + Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen, + </p> + <p> + Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia, + </p> + <p> + And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + The first son becomes half a fool in reality, + </p> + <p> + While the mother is watching his large ideality; + </p> + <p> + And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion, + </p> + <p> + For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning, + </p> + <p> + Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning; + </p> + <p> + The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,— + </p> + <p> + So here's to plain English!—a plague on their ologies! + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + <i>London Mag.</i> + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + THE EDITOR'S ROOM. + </h3> + <p> + <i>July 28, 1828.</i> + </p> + <p> + And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on + Saturday next?—We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and + Pasta is going—and Velluti is out of voice—and they are + playing tragedies at the Haymarket—and Vauxhall will never be dry + again—and the Funny Club are drenched to their skins every day—and + "the sweet shady side of Pall Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be + dull in the country if this weather continue—but not so dirty as + upon the Macadam. So go. + </p> + <p> + We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after business. + It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland, and Turkey, + and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish. The stocks are + rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the Squirearchy are + beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned. That will be a sad + drawback from the delights of a two-shilling quartern-loaf. For ourselves, + we have plenty of work cut out for us, in this our abiding place. The + fewer the books which are published, the more we shall have to draw upon + our own genius; and the duller the season, the more vivacious must we be + to put our readers in spirits. But we have consolation approaching in the + shape of amusing work. Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers + will begin to lie, "like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious + murders, what heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the + Paddington Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's + doors! We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;—and + we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if + they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont to + do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even changing + the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown themselves when + parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own hands, and write a + "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor pretenders <span + class="pagenum"><a id="page91" name="page91"></a>[pg 91]</span> to the + secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the field.—Ibid. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + AWKWARDNESS. + </h3> + <p> + Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of life. + There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the smallest + approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,—he hobbles, or jumps, + or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps—but creeping, sidling, + limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,—he + fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back of + it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It is + the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that + individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up + and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at an + amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees, flying + like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to another, + destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good, gray + kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and Willis's + shop. The horse begins to gallop—Bless our soul! the gentleman will + decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like a peal + of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own shoulders, and + not poking out between your charger's ears; and your horse ought to use <i>its</i> + exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very cold day, you have + cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your brows, as if you had + run the distance in half the time on foot. + </p> + <p> + People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step into + this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of such + nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had breakfasted + on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give him a shake like + a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give yourself a rest? Poor + man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to come! But the other + gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered his body. Every time + my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his twig with a few yards of + twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a whupp," the suddenness of + the accelerated motion makes his great, round head flop from the centre of + his short, thick neck, and come with such violence on the unstuffed back, + that his hat is sent down upon the bridge of his nose with a vehemence + which might well nigh carry it away. Do you say that man is capable of + taking a <i>pleasure</i> ride? Before he has been bumped three miles, + every pull of wind will be jerked out of his body, and by the time he has + arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead man. If that man prospers in the + world, he commits suicide the moment he sets up his carriage. + </p> + <p> + We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of + thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in + the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking + all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal, the + unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms, crouches + up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face, kicks out his + legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes back to the place + puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's burst. Is this + dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can this be a specimen + of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert confirmation, which + sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow, and makes beauty float + before our ravished senses, stealing our admiration by the gracefulness of + each new motion, till at last our souls thrill to each warning movement, + and dissolve into ecstasy and love? + </p> + <p> + People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman + might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of + cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the + velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its + tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands + swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while + the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism detained + the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to move. After + you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze it, as if it + were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not withdraw it to your + side, and keep it in the station where nature and comfort alike tell you + it ought to be? Do you think your breeches' pocket the most proper place + to push your daddle into? Do you put it there to guard the solitary + half-crown from the rapacity of your friend; or do you put it across your + breast in case of an unexpected winder from your apparently peaceable + acquaintance on the opposite side? + </p> + <p> + Is it not quite absurd that a man can't <span class="pagenum"><a + id="page92" name="page92"></a>[pg 92]</span> even take a glass of wine + without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at + breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of wine + after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The egg + lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the table, you + have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating nutriment a + distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a confoundedly + small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To avoid this, + you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have to lay it down + again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the whole, we + disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old mode at + Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and purified + with a glass of hot rum. + </p> + <p> + But the glass of wine—can anything be more easy? One would think not—but + if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend, you will + see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts to do with + ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest thing in the + world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps the decanter, + leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the glittering crystal, + which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then remark at what an acute + angle he holds his right elbow as if he were meditating an assault on his + neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the bottle down again as if his + object were to shake the pure ichor, and make it muddy as his own brains. + Mark how the animal seizes his glass,—by heavens he will break it + into a thousand fragments! See how he bows his lubberly head to meet half + way the glorious cargo; how he slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning + gullet, and chucks down the glass so as almost to break its stem after he + has emptied it of its contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil! + Call you that taking a glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your + gullet as you would put small beer into a barrel,—but it is not—oh, + no! it is not taking, so as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or + glowing, warm, tinted, beautiful caveza! + </p> + <p> + A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady, + perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see when + they enter the room, how differently they behave.—How gracefully she + waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and + beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to her + on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the white of + his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle dangle on + his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how he ducks to + the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to his wife, who, + by this time is giving a most spirited account of the state of the roads, + and the civility of the postilions near the Borders. + </p> + <p> + Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes + tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five feet + eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of their + back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very ground. Let + no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of ours in + Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation by a sound + which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry or a troop + of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the window, and + are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high stumping on the + pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and we stake our + credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of his majesty's + subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height—We mean from five feet + eleven (our own height) up to six feet three. + </p> + <p> + Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural, and + therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall man, if + he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if it be + buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling and + absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and leads + us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a specimen of + that rare bird, the flying tailor. + </p> + <p> + We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is + famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual share, + we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid view in a + troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a walking-stick chair + is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom or ever remain at + home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some "bushy bourne or + mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior the female is to + the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter of an hour after + the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to start, each with her + walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule dangling from her wrist. + The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with their great, heavy + Wellingtons, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page93" name="page93"></a>[pg 93]</span> + which, after walking half a mile, pinch them at the toe, and make the + pleasure excursion confine them to the house for weeks. Then some fool, + the first gate or stile we come to, is sure to show off his vaulting, and + upsets himself in the ditch on the opposite side, instead of going quietly + over and helping the damosels across. And then, if he does attempt the + polite, how awkwardly the monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow + ditch with a plank across it—He goes only half way, and standing in + the middle of the plank, stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting + maiden so forcibly, that before he has time to get out of the way, the + impetus his own tug has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock + and nettles, which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found + at the thoroughfares in every field. + </p> + <p> + We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and + the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When + people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly <i>to + the object</i>, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it + is wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has + concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly + loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling + behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never + remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the <i>mauvaise + honte</i> with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered souchong? + Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband. + </p> + <p> + Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of its + own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable situation + than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not in the + heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a solitary + male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion appears + absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner dressed out in + satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in gingham gowns or + calico prints, every morning of your life ever after. There she is, + supported by her old father, decked out in his old-fashioned brown coat, + with a wig of the same colour, beautifully relieving the burning redness + of his huge projecting ears; and the mother, puffed up like an overgrown + bolster, encouraging the trembling girl, and joining her maiden aunts of + full fifty years, in telling her to take courage, for it is what they must + all come to. Bride's-maids and mutual friends make up the company; and + there, standing out before this assemblage, you assent to everything the + curate, or, if you are rich enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say, + shewing your knock-knees in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to + an admiring bevy of the servants of both families, laughing and tittering + from the squire's pew in the gallery. Then the parting!—The mother's + injunctions to the juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to + write within the week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you + forgot nothing?"—the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of + eyes! By Hercules!—there is but one situation more unpleasant <i>in</i> + this world, and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and + jailor, preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter <i>out</i> of it. + The lady all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep + from creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her + nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of + delicacy and reserve. + </p> + <p> + <i>Blackwood's Magazine.</i> + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS. + </h2> + <h3> + CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in + China.)</i> + </h4> + <h3> + BURIAL. + </h3> + <p> + No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial + order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign + of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the + empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the + Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south. + </p> + <h3> + THE NEW YEAR. + </h3> + <p> + The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the + time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the + greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the + people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares + and their labours at the new year. + </p> + <p> + The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and + creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are + abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all + smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors. + </p> + <p> + On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals of + office, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page94" name="page94"></a>[pg 94]</span> + throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the 20th of the + first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of rest from the + ordinary official business of government. They attend, however, to + extraordinary cases. + </p> + <p> + During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various + domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the + hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires. + </p> + <p> + On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and + Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the + best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down, + and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the + ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they can, + and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit all the + gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense, gilt + paper, make bows, and prostrate pray. + </p> + <p> + These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about daylight + in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a red paper + card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In the house, + sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and appear before the + heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new year. + </p> + <p> + After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting, + idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and + workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the + necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton, + generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary + channel. + </p> + <h3> + MEETING THE SPRING. + </h3> + <p> + February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called + Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters the + 15º of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring + season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the + district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an open + chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs seated + among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession. + </p> + <p> + He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the + following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar style. + There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having been + paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel its + labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this official + priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves it to the + populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces; and so the + foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this ancient usage is + supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year. + </p> + <h3> + PAWNBROKING. + </h3> + <p> + Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided + into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior + walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other + granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with + similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the government; + but there are others, we are informed, that exist without this sanction, + and are directed to the relief of the mercantile interest. These + assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of an Equitable Loan + Company, making advances upon cargoes and large deposits of goods. + </p> + <p> + These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over the + door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but, whether + they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of property, we + will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem, with a grace + of three months. + </p> + <h3> + TORTURE. + </h3> + <p> + In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the + magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of + men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small + apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are + many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in every + part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many instances of + suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured till death + ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the emperor, against + a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a confession of + homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province, that on the 24th + of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton, having received an + appointment for his high literary attainments, to the magistracy of a Heen + district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a young man, on his bridal + day, to the torture, because he would not resign the band of music which + he had engaged to accompany, according to law and usage, his intended wife + to his father's house. The young <span class="pagenum"><a id="page95" + name="page95"></a>[pg 95]</span> man's name was Kwanfa. He died under the + torture, and the affrighted magistrate went and hanged himself. + </p> + <h3> + CHINESE PRISON. + </h3> + <p> + Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private + apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and + fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall, + till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over, the + fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have not + money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is every + alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of + punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper) + to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners + are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered + down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth, whilst + the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This place of + torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a term + equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell." + </p> + <h3> + TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS. + </h3> + <p> + It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the same + light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow foreigners + entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is no law against + walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the Europeans in China + to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally violate them, and attempt + a longer walk. Once round the city walls has frequently been effected, but + always at the risk of a scuffle, an assault and battery, from the idle and + mischievous among the native population. On former occasions, some of the + foreign tourists have returned to the factories relieved of the burden of + their watches and clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage + round, robbed of his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked. + </p> + <p> + A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning, + and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance + round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards, + two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but + they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of + men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats, + and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really + endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about, and + fight and run alternately the distance of several miles. + </p> + <p> + We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised at + the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they effected + their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on their guard; + and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar scrape, they + cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger. + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + THE GATHERER + </h2> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles." + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + SHAKSPEARE. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + BAPTISMAL PROMISES. + </h3> + <p> + One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on + being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of + qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her, said, + with much <i>naiveté</i>, "I've a yeard that they promised to give + me hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though." + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + A GOOD WIFE. + </h3> + <p> + The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble + family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and + inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a seat + belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.—<i>Taken + from Mist's Journal</i>. + </p> + <p> + "Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir + devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and + shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was still + the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my desires, + disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in apparence + above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit, sweetly + tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech, blest with + silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave fashion to + win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex; entyre with + few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and persons in the + honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as giving the occasion: + Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir greatest extremity most + patient, sending up hir pure soule with many zealous prayers and hymnes to + hir maker; powring forth hir passionate heart with affectionate streams of + love to hir"— + </p> + <p> + <span class="pagenum"><a id="page96" name="page96"></a>[pg 96]</span> + </p> + <p> + "Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time + his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any further. + </p> + <p> + T. H. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one + article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by + no means desirable—<i>a new drop</i>. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + BRITISH TARS, + </h3> + <p> + Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to + concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable + association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote will + exemplify:—Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some of + a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in + London, the words "<i>Peace and Concord</i>" figured at full length in + characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, <i>Conquered</i>!" exclaimed + an honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words; + "shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '<i>Conquered</i>' yet?" and + so saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil + explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored + Peace, and allowed Concord to continue. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + REMEDY FOR DULNESS. + </h3> + <p> + Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a + thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out of + company." + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + NATIONAL COMPLAINTS. + </h3> + <p> + The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the <i>French roast beef</i>; the + Frenchmen in London complain of the <i>British brandy</i>. + </p> + <p> + The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served + in the <i>cavalry</i>, as they are so expert in <i>making a charge</i>. + </p> + <p> + A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived at + <i>Mr. Bailey's, senior</i>, was shown to the <i>Old Bailey</i>, by a + Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was his + friend's levee. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + BENEFIT OF CORRECTION. + </h3> + <p> + A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools did + not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that + whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a boy + <i>smart</i>. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + FRENCH AND ENGLISH. + </h3> + <p> + "<i>C'est la Soupe</i>," says one of the best of proverbs, "<i>qui fait le + Soldat</i>;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our + troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact, than + their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery. The + English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals, by + which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt to a + cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the same pot, + and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than the simple <i>Rôti</i> + could ever be. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + THE FAMILY SUIT. + </h3> + <p> + The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative + practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform + him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause + which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years. Instead + of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran of the + law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by this + suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me, and to + portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it would have + furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your children and + grand-children." + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + PORK CHOPS. + </h3> + <p> + It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to + summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other grotesque + or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the feat by + supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + ARDUOUS BAPTISM. + </h3> + <p> + An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman, + who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of + the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual, + and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How + difficult this child is to baptize!" + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + DULL READING. + </h3> + <p> + St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable + dull reader. "<i>Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non inveniat</i>." + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <blockquote class="footnote"> + <p> + <a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a> <b>Footnote 1</b>: <a + href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a> + </p> + <p> + from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt. + </p> + </blockquote> + <blockquote class="footnote"> + <p> + <a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a> <b>Footnote 2</b>: <a + href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a> + </p> + <p> + Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants to run about to + warm themselves with different diversions before going to bed. + </p> + </blockquote> + <hr class="full" /> + <p> + <i>Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near + Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, + Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers.</i> + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <p> + <div>*** END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK 10475 ***</div> +</body> +</html> diff --git a/10475-h/images/326-1.png b/10475-h/images/326-1.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..e62c5dd --- /dev/null +++ b/10475-h/images/326-1.png diff --git a/10475-h/images/326-2.png b/10475-h/images/326-2.png Binary files differnew file mode 100644 index 0000000..1f8cf27 --- /dev/null +++ b/10475-h/images/326-2.png diff --git a/LICENSE.txt b/LICENSE.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..6312041 --- /dev/null +++ b/LICENSE.txt @@ -0,0 +1,11 @@ +This eBook, including all associated images, markup, improvements, +metadata, and any other content or labor, has been confirmed to be +in the PUBLIC DOMAIN IN THE UNITED STATES. + +Procedures for determining public domain status are described in +the "Copyright How-To" at https://www.gutenberg.org. + +No investigation has been made concerning possible copyrights in +jurisdictions other than the United States. Anyone seeking to utilize +this eBook outside of the United States should confirm copyright +status under the laws that apply to them. diff --git a/README.md b/README.md new file mode 100644 index 0000000..2bf99ee --- /dev/null +++ b/README.md @@ -0,0 +1,2 @@ +Project Gutenberg (https://www.gutenberg.org) public repository for +eBook #10475 (https://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/10475) diff --git a/old/10475-8.txt b/old/10475-8.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b25b06b --- /dev/null +++ b/old/10475-8.txt @@ -0,0 +1,1962 @@ +The Project Gutenberg eBook, The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and +Instruction, Vol. 12, Issue 326, August 9, 1828, by Various + + +This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with +almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + + + + +Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12, +Issue 326, August 9, 1828 + +Author: Various + +Release Date: December 16, 2003 [eBook #10475] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: iso-8859-1 + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, +AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828*** + + +E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell, and the Prooject +Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustration. + See 10475-h.htm or 10475-h.zip: + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h/10475-h.htm) + or + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h.zip) + + + + +THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION. + +VOL. 12, No. 326.] SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828. [PRICE 2d. + + + + * * * * * + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + +REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH. + + +Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of +classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the +New Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with +extraordinary zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on +all sides, but has received the addition of some magnificent public +edifices, while the access to it from every quarter has been greatly +facilitated and embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our +engraving is a mere vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most +superb of those additions. + +The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road +was long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this +quarter, the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming +an approach no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814, +however, a magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill, +between which and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was +formerly occupied with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect +the hill with Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an +elegant arch, called _Regent Bridge_, has been thrown over the hollow, +which makes the descent from the hill into this street easy and +agreeable. Thus, in place of being carried, as formerly, through long +and narrow streets, the great road from the east into Edinburgh sweeps +along the side of the steep and singular elevation of the Calton Hill; +whence the traveller has first a view of the Old Town, with its elevated +buildings crowning the summit of the adjacent ridges, and rising upon +the eye in imposing masses; and, afterwards, of the New Town finely +contrasted with the Old, in the regularity and elegance of its general +outline. + +_Regent Bridge_ was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is +semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five +feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the +difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The +roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great +arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported +by elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased +to open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and +the building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along +the bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on +which that memorable battle was fought. + +The engraving[1] is an interesting picture of classic beauty; and as the +"approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New London Bridge are now +becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope this entrance to our +metropolis will ultimately present a similar display of architectural +elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to yield in +comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that the +march of taste be quickened in this quarter. + + [1] from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt. + + * * * * * + + +ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER. + + + Weep, for the word is spoken-- + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd-- + The master chord is broken, + And the master's hand is cold! + Romance hath lost her minstrel, + No more his magic strain + Shall throw a sweeter spell around, + The legends of Almaine. + + His fame had flown before him + To many a foreign land, + His lays are sung by every tongue, + And harp'd by every hand! + He came to cull fresh laurels, + But fate was in their breath, + And turn'd his march of triumph + Into a dirge of death. + + O! all who knew him lov'd him, + For with his mighty mind, + He bore himself so meekly, + His heart it was so kind! + His wildly warbling melodies, + The storms that round them roll, + Are types of the simplicity + And grandeur of his soul. + + Though years of ceaseless suffering + Had worn him to a shade, + So patient was his spirit, + No wayward plaint he made. + E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare + His victim pure and mild; + And stole upon him quietly + As slumber o'er a child. + + Weep, for the word is spoken-- + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd-- + The master chord is broken, + And the master's hand is cold! + The master chord is broken, + And the master's hand is cold! + +PLANCHE. + + * * * * * + + +YOUNG NAPOLEON. + +_(For the Mirror.)_ + + +It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future +destinies of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To +use the words of the talented author of the _Improvisatrice_, "Poetry +needs no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be +uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware +that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed +the Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the +interest of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into +consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest +degree, interesting; they serve to display the _man_, divested of the +"pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot +be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the +world never gave him credit for:--_"Posterity will do me justice."_ + +I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at +St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was +carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his +society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his +solicitude during the period of seven years, "_For him alone,_" he said, +"_I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some +expectations on earth, they are also for him._" He has declared to +several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on +his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that +Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of +which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection. +He was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this +poem which had been circulated, and bought and procured them by every +means in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable +not a single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been +remarked, that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and +the idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more. +In neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred." + +VYVYAN. + + +TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON. + + + Delightful image of my much loved boy! + Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile! + No more, alas! will he enkindle joy, + Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile. + + My son! my darling son! wert thou but here, + My bosom should receive thy lovely form: + Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear: + Serenely mild behold the lowering storm. + + I'd be the partner of thy infant cares, + And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind; + Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years, + My wearied soul should an asylum find. + + My wrongs--my cares--should be forgot with thee, + My power--imperial dignities--renown-- + This rock itself would be a heaven to me; + Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown. + + O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame + Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name. + +(Signed.) NAPOLEON. + + +Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son." + + + O! Cherished image of my infant heir! + Thy surface does his lineaments impart:-- + But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare + His living form shall never glad my heart. + + My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer + The settled sadness of thy hapless sire! + Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear, + And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire. + + In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find; + With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own: + Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind, + Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne. + +(Signed.) NAPOLEON. + + * * * * * + + +THE COLOUR--BLUE. + +_(To the Editor of the Mirror.)_ + + +Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting _blue_, as +the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of persons, +it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that Bentley, in +his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the costume +of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5, for his +authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but +Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence +of the passage. + +_Twickenham._ H. H. + + * * * * * + + +EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS. + +_(For the Mirror.)_ + + +On the trial of _Henry Marshall_, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and +deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of +death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was +immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his +speech till a few hours preceding his execution. + +G. W. N. + + * * * * * + + +_July, 1736_--Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going armed in +disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis, +(reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where, +having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought +dead, was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to +be dug at some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as +they had put him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he +thrust back the lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed +his hands on the sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some +of the people, in their first surprise, were for knocking him on the +head; but the executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the +mob, thinking otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor +executioner, (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in +a miserable manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at +Bayswater, where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of +blood, and it was thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The +sheriffs' officers, believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the +place of execution before he was cut down. + +_Sept. 3, 1736._--Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were executed +this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was perceived to +have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen and +others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for, +immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he +had the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with +divers persons he knew, and to all appearance a perfect recovery was +expected. But notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in +great agony, his bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his +rolling from one side to the other. + +It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried +to Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited +him and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered +the manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember +his having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with +him. + +G. K. + + * * * * * + + +LOVE AND JOY. + +AN ALLEGORY. + + +In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants +descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among +the most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of +Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up +beneath their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all +nature seemed embellished by their presence; they were inseparable +companions, and their growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who +had decreed that a lasting union should be solemnized between them as +soon as they arrived at mature years. But in the meantime, the sons of +men deviated from their native innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the +earth with giant strides; and Astrea with her train of celestial +visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love alone remained, having +been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and conveyed by her to the +forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst the shepherds. But +Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded him to espouse +Sorrow, the daughter of Até. He complied with reluctance, for her +features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead contracted into +perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a wreath of cypress +and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom might be traced a +strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen and unamiable +features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of the father, +that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing. The maids +and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast was +observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was yet +an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom. +She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she +was beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but +inexpressibly sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some +wild and melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep, +for she took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of +the hamlet were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in +among them and captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness. +She wore on her head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted +with her mother's cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of +Helicon, her tears by chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the +muses' spring has tasted of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter +to follow the steps of her mother through the world, dropping balm into +the wounds she made, and binding up the hearts she had broken. She +follows with her hair loose, her bosom bare and throbbing, her garments +torn by the briars, and her feet bleeding with the roughness of the +path. The nymph is mortal, for so is her mother; and when she has +finished her destined course upon earth, they shall both expire +together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal and +long-betrothed bride. + + * * * * * + + + +THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER. + + +ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE. + +_(From a Correspondent.)_ + + +There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and +Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not +visited by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of +the formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre +of France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given +rise, determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the +neighbourhood. Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of +Nonnenworth, I made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of +sixteen miles, passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the +other white and slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the +valley of the Rhine narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales +which the road skirts, are sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly +covered with vines and fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing +in the tints of its leaf, and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that +its thick plantations present, yet there is a stiffness in the +regularity in which it grows, propped up by sticks; and it is so short, +that one's fancy as to its luxuriance, (especially if formed from such +poetry as _Childe Harold_,) is certainly disappointed. I made a +digression from the road up the little river Aar, which falls into the +Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture you cannot imagine. The +stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom rocky, and its banks, +for a considerable distance, are literally perpendicular rocks. The Aar +is a perfect specimen of the mountain torrent; it rises in the Eiffel +mountains; and, I am told, in the winter does much mischief by +inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh rivulets, particularly some +parts of the Dee. This _détour_ having taken up more time than I +expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in time for the supper at the +rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish wine, and the company of +an agreeable German tourist who was staying there, made ample amends for +the fatigues of the day. + +In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs +down from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of +pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees +scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of +which are composed of what is called, in the language of geology, +_tufa_, and in that of the country, _dukstein_, or _trass_. It is a +stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it +assumes a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried +throughout the valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it +is in great request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin +to the trade in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled +there about a century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower +part of the mass is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore +preferred by the quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose +and sandy, and unfit for use. You must not suppose the stream to be +clear like the Aar, for it is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same +colour, being in fact a river of trass in solution. The banks, however, +are picturesque and well wooded, particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old +castle of peculiar architecture, built on an elevated rock, and formerly +belonging to the family of Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is +surrounded with caverns and halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and +profusely ornamented with fine oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees. +You may almost fancy yourself on magic ground, and looking on a fairy +castle, so peculiar is the effect. I next reached Burgbrohl and +Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills, for the stone is in many +places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is a considerable trade in +them to Holland, and thence to England and other countries. Half an hour +next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg, one of the hills forming +the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a magnificent prospect on +the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood, with the old +six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel chain +enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to give me +a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence to +the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very +different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching +Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to +withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene +close under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines +sometime ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the +distance to be within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it +that + + "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view. + And robes the mountain in its azure hue." + +I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to +the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain +plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on +the eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel +of the river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks +entirely. This table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic +formation, and of a conical form, some of them having central funnels or +craters, from which the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete +are the Hirschenberg, near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that +village and Olburg, the Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which +last rises about one thousand feet above the level of the surrounding +surface. There are many others extending for some distance in the Eiffel +chain and in the vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to +guide the footsteps of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is +nearly circular and crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about +a mile and a quarter in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet, +but it is full of holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its +water is blueish, very cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been +examined by several geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the +famous Humboldt, and there is no doubt that this great reservoir is the +crater of an extinct volcano. The fragments and minerals thrown up on +the banks are analogous to those found in other volcanic countries; and +on one side (that towards Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued +lava, which is supposed to have flowed from the crater during the last +eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks +it not improbable that this may have been the eruption recorded by +Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as having ravaged the country of the +Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of Nero. I should not forget to +mention that there is a cavern within the basin of the lake, the air of +which is so stifling and noxious, that animals die if forced to remain +in it, and lights are extinguished by the gas--phenomena precisely +similar to those of the well-known Grotto del Cane, near Naples. + +While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a +word on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over +this country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or, +Carbal, and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the +latter district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the +difference of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial +soil in the other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a +deluge, is, I believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it +is the actual substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm +paste. The rain has always been observed to fall heavily after +eruptions, and the water running down the sides of the hills, has formed +this crust, which makes the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same +causes are in action now; and if ever the lake should rise so high as to +burst its banks, it would overflow the whole country, and carry terrible +destruction with it. Such an event was actually foreseen by the +sagacious monks who formerly inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal +nearly a mile long, to give the water vent; and the discharge by it +continues to this day. The abbey is now untenanted, and is in a +deplorable state of ruin; it was once celebrated for its hospitality and +a fine gallery of pictures; all, however, have vanished, and the ruins +are now the property of M. Delius, a magistrate of Treves. The situation +is so beautiful, surrounded as it is with fine timber, that one would +suppose it worth his while to repair the place, particularly as stone is +so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It forms, however, as it is, a +picturesque addition to the interest of the excursion to the lake, I +returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well satisfied with my +inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to the abbey is +little more than five miles, and it is one which I would advise all +tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they be +geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of. +Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the +funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to +the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us +that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being +one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such +signs of terror. + +D. + + * * * * * + + + +THE SKETCH-BOOK + + +GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE. + +_The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles._ + + +The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the +windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted +with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It +lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters +through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the +surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of +Bowood on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq. +Towards the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last +chalky cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles +of Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front +of the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond. + +This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and +descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the +bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into +the water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and +poplars, among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following +inscription:--"M.S. Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali +grassante, publicè missus, ipse miserrimè periit--1804. Fratri +posuit."--Passing round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels, +which leads to the green in front of the house, where, dipping a small +slope, the path passes near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on +the magnificent line of Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought +could not be well avoided: + + "When in thy sight another's vast domain + Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain? + Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state + Above the lowly, but beneath the great; + And still his name with gratitude revere, + Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here." + +The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn, +from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a +dark passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the +fountain. + +The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was +probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when +at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the +farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this +mitred lord. It has the appearance of being _monastic_, but a more +ornate capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of +1688. I must again venture to give the appropriate inscription:-- + + "To count the brief and unreturning hours, + This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers, + Which came forth in their beauty--smiled and died, + Blooming and withering round its ancient side. + Mortal, thy day is passing--see that flower, + And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!" + +The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers; +a step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with +crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as +their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey. + +The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the +gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I +add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by +the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most +exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers +of the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties +of the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine +Bingham, being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame +at the bar. The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy +his muse whose poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed +over the large Indian shell:-- + + "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar, + I drink the whelming tide no more; + But in this rock, remote and still, + Now serve to pour the murmuring rill. + Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept-- + Oh! like his song, who placed me here, + The sweetest song to Memory dear, + When life's tumultuous storms are past, + May we, to such sweet music, close at last + The eyelids that have wept!" + +Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic +stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a +narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with +fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on +which an hour-glass is carved. + +A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in +that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in +such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless +pride, tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters, +distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St. +John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters, +Sir Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy--poets as well +as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North, +Esq. + +Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:-- + + "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss + Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!" + +Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond, +there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century, +would have been idolatrous! + +To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may +be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the +reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen +the persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return, +and many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the +branches of that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let +us now rest; it stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden +which we have just perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard, +and looks on to an old sun-dial, once a _cross_. The _cross_ was found +broken at its foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I +have brought the interesting fragment again into light, and placed it +conspicuously opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I +think it not unlikely was planted by Townson on his _restoration_. The +accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four +steps at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have +been worn in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling, +by the forefathers of the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed. +From a seat near this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and +battlements of the church, on one side; and on the other you look over a +great extent of country. On a still summer's evening, the distant sound +of the hurrying coaches, on the great London road, are heard as they +pass to and from the metropolis. On this spot this last admonitory +inscription fronts you:-- + + "There lie the village dead, and there too I, + When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie. + Look round, the distant prospect is display'd, + Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade. + Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road, + But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!" + +_History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles._ + + * * * * * + + + +RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS. + +PAPER MARKS. + +[Illustration] + + +Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in +this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign +of Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture +existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a +paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book +printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled +"Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by +John Tate, jun. + +The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they +gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained, +though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. _Post_ +paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on +specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar +mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open _hand_ is a +very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is +considerably altered in size and texture. + +_Fool's-Cap_--the name is still continued though the original design of +a fool's cap is relinquished. + +_Pot Paper._--There were various designs of pots or drinking vessels; +this paper retains its proportions and size according to early +specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England. + +The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper +with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John +Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good. + +Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will +or caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other +non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head +surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe, +initials of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th +century and commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with +supporters. + + * * * * * + + +SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII. + + +The only alteration in the following is the difference of the +orthography which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are +extracts from a curious manuscript, containing directions for the +household of Henry VIII. + +"His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten, +or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the +stocks. + +"His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables, +forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's +houses, where he goes to visit. + +"Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie +all night on the ground before the kitchen fire. + +"No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the +ladies. + +"Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four. + +"The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging +or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime. + +"The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the +company of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal +person. + +"There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which +dishes and other things are often broken! + +"The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids. + +"The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient +being allowed to them. + +"Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's +chambers.[2] + +"The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale. + +"Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds. + +"Ordered--that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session of +parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal +displeasure." + +The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did, +perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous +manuscript. + +W. H. H. + + [2] Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants + to run about to warm themselves with different diversions + before going to bed. + + * * * * * + + +FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR. + + +In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard +_Forthave_, who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented +"_a vinegar_," which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from +this it may be concluded that the length of time has caused the above +corruption. The article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar." + +W. H. H. + + * * * * * + + +FISH. + + +Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical +reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element +congealed, or a jelly of water." + +It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to +touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should +not be enough left to regale their sovereign." + + * * * * * + + +A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION. + + +In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent +as much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a +tailor in Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming +into the shop, liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as +much for himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion. +The knight was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to +cut his gown as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's +was made "of the same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the +_gentleman's_ fashion again. + +C. F E. + + * * * * * + + +CONVEYANCING. + + +The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the +Cave of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary +and redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in +Macpelah, which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was +therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the +borders round about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a +modern conveyance cannot well be more minutely characterized. + + * * * * * + + + +SPIRIT OF THE +PUBLIC JOURNALS + + +THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT. + + "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?" + +GAY. + + + I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance + Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science! + They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics, + And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics. + + They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine, + While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring-- + And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short, + With their chemical use of the still and retort. + + Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.) + For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-. + And to make both ends meet they give little assistance, + With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance. + + They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish, + Except just the bounds of their own native parish; + And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn, + While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern. + + Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours, + The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers; + Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains, + And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains. + + They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction-- + They drive us from home by electric attraction-- + And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity, + I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity. + + When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving, + Anatomy leads them to give up the carving; + And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy, + While they study the line of the _os humeri_. + + If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap, + We awake with a din about limestone and trap; + And the fire is extinguished past regeneration, + For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation. + + 'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen, + Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen, + Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia, + And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia. + + The first son becomes half a fool in reality, + While the mother is watching his large ideality; + And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion, + For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution. + + I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning, + Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning; + The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,-- + So here's to plain English!--a plague on their ologies! + +_London Mag_. + + * * * * * + + +THE EDITOR'S ROOM. + +_July 28, 1828._ + + +And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on +Saturday next?--We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and Pasta +is going--and Velluti is out of voice--and they are playing tragedies at +the Haymarket--and Vauxhall will never be dry again--and the Funny Club +are drenched to their skins every day--and "the sweet shady side of Pall +Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be dull in the country if this +weather continue--but not so dirty as upon the Macadam. So go. + +We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after +business. It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland, +and Turkey, and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish. +The stocks are rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the +Squirearchy are beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned. +That will be a sad drawback from the delights of a two-shilling +quartern-loaf. For ourselves, we have plenty of work cut out for us, in +this our abiding place. The fewer the books which are published, the +more we shall have to draw upon our own genius; and the duller the +season, the more vivacious must we be to put our readers in spirits. But +we have consolation approaching in the shape of amusing work. +Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers will begin to lie, +"like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious murders, what +heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the Paddington +Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's doors! +We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;--and +we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if +they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont +to do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even +changing the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown +themselves when parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own +hands, and write a "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor +pretenders to the secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the +field.--Ibid. + + * * * * * + + +AWKWARDNESS. + + +Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of +life. There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the +smallest approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,--he hobbles, or +jumps, or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps--but creeping, sidling, +limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,--he +fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back +of it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It +is the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that +individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up +and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at +an amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees, +flying like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to +another, destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good, +gray kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and +Willis's shop. The horse begins to gallop--Bless our soul! the gentleman +will decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like +a peal of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own +shoulders, and not poking out between your charger's ears; and your +horse ought to use _its_ exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very +cold day, you have cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your +brows, as if you had run the distance in half the time on foot. + +People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step +into this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of +such nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had +breakfasted on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give +him a shake like a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give +yourself a rest? Poor man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to +come! But the other gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered +his body. Every time my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his +twig with a few yards of twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a +whupp," the suddenness of the accelerated motion makes his great, round +head flop from the centre of his short, thick neck, and come with such +violence on the unstuffed back, that his hat is sent down upon the +bridge of his nose with a vehemence which might well nigh carry it away. +Do you say that man is capable of taking a _pleasure_ ride? Before he +has been bumped three miles, every pull of wind will be jerked out of +his body, and by the time he has arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead +man. If that man prospers in the world, he commits suicide the moment he +sets up his carriage. + +We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of +thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in +the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking +all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal, +the unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms, +crouches up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face, +kicks out his legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes +back to the place puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's +burst. Is this dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can +this be a specimen of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert +confirmation, which sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow, +and makes beauty float before our ravished senses, stealing our +admiration by the gracefulness of each new motion, till at last our +souls thrill to each warning movement, and dissolve into ecstasy and +love? + +People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman +might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of +cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the +velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its +tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands +swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while +the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism +detained the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to +move. After you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze +it, as if it were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not +withdraw it to your side, and keep it in the station where nature and +comfort alike tell you it ought to be? Do you think your breeches' +pocket the most proper place to push your daddle into? Do you put it +there to guard the solitary half-crown from the rapacity of your friend; +or do you put it across your breast in case of an unexpected winder from +your apparently peaceable acquaintance on the opposite side? + +Is it not quite absurd that a man can't even take a glass of wine +without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at +breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of +wine after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The +egg lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the +table, you have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating +nutriment a distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a +confoundedly small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To +avoid this, you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have +to lay it down again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the +whole, we disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old +mode at Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and +purified with a glass of hot rum. + +But the glass of wine--can anything be more easy? One would think +not--but if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend, +you will see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts +to do with ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest +thing in the world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps +the decanter, leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the +glittering crystal, which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then +remark at what an acute angle he holds his right elbow as if he were +meditating an assault on his neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the +bottle down again as if his object were to shake the pure ichor, and +make it muddy as his own brains. Mark how the animal seizes his +glass,--by heavens he will break it into a thousand fragments! See how +he bows his lubberly head to meet half way the glorious cargo; how he +slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning gullet, and chucks down the +glass so as almost to break its stem after he has emptied it of its +contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil! Call you that taking a +glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your gullet as you would put +small beer into a barrel,--but it is not--oh, no! it is not taking, so +as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or glowing, warm, tinted, +beautiful caveza! + +A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady, +perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see +when they enter the room, how differently they behave.--How gracefully +she waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and +beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to +her on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the +white of his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle +dangle on his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how +he ducks to the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to +his wife, who, by this time is giving a most spirited account of the +state of the roads, and the civility of the postilions near the Borders. + +Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes +tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five +feet eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of +their back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very +ground. Let no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of +ours in Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation +by a sound which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry +or a troop of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the +window, and are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high +stumping on the pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and +we stake our credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of +his majesty's subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height--We mean +from five feet eleven (our own height) up to six feet three. + +Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural, +and therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall +man, if he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if +it be buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling +and absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and +leads us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a +specimen of that rare bird, the flying tailor. + +We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is +famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual +share, we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid +view in a troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a +walking-stick chair is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom +or ever remain at home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some +"bushy bourne or mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior +the female is to the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter +of an hour after the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to +start, each with her walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule +dangling from her wrist. The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with +their great, heavy Wellingtons, which, after walking half a mile, pinch +them at the toe, and make the pleasure excursion confine them to the +house for weeks. Then some fool, the first gate or stile we come to, is +sure to show off his vaulting, and upsets himself in the ditch on the +opposite side, instead of going quietly over and helping the damosels +across. And then, if he does attempt the polite, how awkwardly the +monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow ditch with a plank across +it--He goes only half way, and standing in the middle of the plank, +stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting maiden so forcibly, +that before he has time to get out of the way, the impetus his own tug +has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock and nettles, +which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found at the +thoroughfares in every field. + +We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and +the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When +people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly _to +the object_, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it is +wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has +concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly +loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling +behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never +remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the +_mauvaise honte_ with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered +souchong? Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband. + +Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of +its own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable +situation than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not +in the heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a +solitary male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion +appears absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner +dressed out in satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in +gingham gowns or calico prints, every morning of your life ever after. +There she is, supported by her old father, decked out in his +old-fashioned brown coat, with a wig of the same colour, beautifully +relieving the burning redness of his huge projecting ears; and the +mother, puffed up like an overgrown bolster, encouraging the trembling +girl, and joining her maiden aunts of full fifty years, in telling her +to take courage, for it is what they must all come to. Bride's-maids and +mutual friends make up the company; and there, standing out before this +assemblage, you assent to everything the curate, or, if you are rich +enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say, shewing your knock-knees +in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to an admiring bevy of the +servants of both families, laughing and tittering from the squire's pew +in the gallery. Then the parting!--The mother's injunctions to the +juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to write within the +week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you forgot +nothing?"--the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of eyes! By +Hercules!--there is but one situation more unpleasant _in_ this world, +and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and jailor, +preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter _out_ of it. The lady +all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep from +creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her +nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of +delicacy and reserve. + +_Blackwood's Magazine_. + + * * * * * + + + +MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS. + + +CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS. + +(_From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in +China_.) + + +BURIAL. + +No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial +order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign +of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the +empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the +Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south. + + +THE NEW YEAR. + +The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the +time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the +greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the +people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares +and their labours at the new year. + +The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and +creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are +abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all +smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors. + +On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals +of office, throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the +20th of the first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of +rest from the ordinary official business of government. They attend, +however, to extraordinary cases. + +During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various +domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the +hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires. + +On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and +Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the +best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down, +and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the +ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they +can, and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit +all the gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense, +gilt paper, make bows, and prostrate pray. + +These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about +daylight in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a +red paper card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In +the house, sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and +appear before the heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new +year. + +After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting, +idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and +workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the +necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton, +generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary +channel. + + +MEETING THE SPRING. + +February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called +Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters +the 15º of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring +season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the +district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an +open chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs +seated among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession. + +He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the +following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar +style. There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having +been paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel +its labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this +official priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves +it to the populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces; +and so the foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this +ancient usage is supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year. + + +PAWNBROKING. + +Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided +into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior +walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other +granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with +similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the +government; but there are others, we are informed, that exist without +this sanction, and are directed to the relief of the mercantile +interest. These assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of +an Equitable Loan Company, making advances upon cargoes and large +deposits of goods. + +These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over +the door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but, +whether they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of +property, we will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem, +with a grace of three months. + + +TORTURE. + +In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the +magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of +men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small +apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are +many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in +every part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many +instances of suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured +till death ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the +emperor, against a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a +confession of homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province, +that on the 24th of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton, +having received an appointment for his high literary attainments, to the +magistracy of a Heen district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a +young man, on his bridal day, to the torture, because he would not +resign the band of music which he had engaged to accompany, according to +law and usage, his intended wife to his father's house. The young man's +name was Kwanfa. He died under the torture, and the affrighted +magistrate went and hanged himself. + + +CHINESE PRISON. + +Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private +apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and +fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall, +till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over, +the fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have +not money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is +every alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of +punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper) +to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners +are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered +down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth, +whilst the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This +place of torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a +term equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell." + + +TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS. + +It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the +same light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow +foreigners entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is +no law against walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the +Europeans in China to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally +violate them, and attempt a longer walk. Once round the city walls has +frequently been effected, but always at the risk of a scuffle, an +assault and battery, from the idle and mischievous among the native +population. On former occasions, some of the foreign tourists have +returned to the factories relieved of the burden of their watches and +clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage round, robbed of +his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked. + +A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning, +and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance +round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards, +two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but +they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of +men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats, +and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really +endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about, +and fight and run alternately the distance of several miles. + +We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised +at the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they +effected their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on +their guard; and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar +scrape, they cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger. + + * * * * * + + + +THE GATHERER + + "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles." + +SHAKSPEARE. + + +BAPTISMAL PROMISES. + +One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on +being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of +qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her, +said, with much _naiveté_, "I've a yeard that they promised to give me +hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though." + + * * * * * + + +A GOOD WIFE. + +The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble +family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and +inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a +seat belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.--_Taken +from Mist's Journal_. + +"Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir +devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and +shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was +still the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my +desires, disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in +apparence above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit, +sweetly tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech, +blest with silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave +fashion to win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex; +entyre with few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and +persons in the honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as +giving the occasion: Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir +greatest extremity most patient, sending up hir pure soule with many +zealous prayers and hymnes to hir maker; powring forth hir passionate +heart with affectionate streams of love to hir"-- + +"Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time +his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any +further. + +T. H. + + * * * * * + +At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one +article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by +no means desirable--_a new drop_. + + * * * * * + + +BRITISH TARS, + +Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to +concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable +association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote +will exemplify:--Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some +of a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in +London, the words "_Peace and Concord_" figured at full length in +characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, _Conquered_!" exclaimed an +honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words; +"shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '_Conquered_' yet?" and so +saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil +explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored +Peace, and allowed Concord to continue. + + * * * * * + + +REMEDY FOR DULNESS. + +Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a +thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out +of company." + + * * * * * + + +NATIONAL COMPLAINTS. + +The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the _French roast beef_; the +Frenchmen in London complain of the _British brandy_. + +The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served +in the _cavalry_, as they are so expert in _making a charge_. + +A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived +at _Mr. Bailey's, senior_, was shown to the _Old Bailey_, by a +Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was +his friend's levee. + + * * * * * + + +BENEFIT OF CORRECTION. + +A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools +did not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that +whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a +boy _smart_. + + * * * * * + + +FRENCH AND ENGLISH. + +"_C'est la Soupe_," says one of the best of proverbs, "_qui fait le +Soldat_;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our +troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact, +than their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery. +The English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals, +by which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt +to a cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the +same pot, and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than +the simple _Rôti_ could ever be. + + * * * * * + + +THE FAMILY SUIT. + +The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative +practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform +him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause +which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years. +Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran +of the law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by +this suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me, +and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it +would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your +children and grand-children." + + * * * * * + + +PORK CHOPS. + +It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to +summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other +grotesque or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the +feat by supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops. + + * * * * * + + +ARDUOUS BAPTISM. + +An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman, +who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of +the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual, +and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How +difficult this child is to baptize!" + + * * * * * + + +DULL READING. + +St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable +dull reader. "_Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non +inveniat_." + + * * * * * + + +_Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near +Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, +Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers._ + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, +AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828*** + + +******* This file should be named 10475-8.txt or 10475-8.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/4/7/10475 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at <a href="https://www.gutenberg.org">www.gutenberg.org</a></pre> + <p> + Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12, + Issue 326, August 9, 1828 + </p> + <p> + Author: Various + </p> + <p> + Release Date: December 16, 2003 [eBook #10475] + </p> + <p> + Language: English + </p> + <p> + Character set encoding: iso-8859-1 + </p> + <p> + ***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, + AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828*** + </p> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <h3> + E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell,<br /> and the Prooject + Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team + </h3> + <p> + <br /> + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <p> + <span class="pagenum"><a id="page81" name="page81"></a>[pg 97]</span> + </p> + <h1> + THE MIRROR<br /> OF<br /> LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION. + </h1> + <hr class="full" /> + <table width="100%"> + <tr> + <td align="left"> + <b>Vol. 12. No. 326.</b> + </td> + <td align="center"> + <b>SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828.</b> + </td> + <td align="right"> + <b>[PRICE 2d.</b> + </td> + </tr> + </table> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH. + </h2> + <div class="figure" style="width:75%;"> + <a href="images/326-1.png"><img width="75%" src="images/326-1.png" alt="" /></a> + </div> + <p> + Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of + classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the New + Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with extraordinary + zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on all sides, but + has received the addition of some magnificent public edifices, while the + access to it from every quarter has been greatly facilitated and + embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our engraving is a mere + vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most superb of those + additions. + </p> + <p> + The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road was + long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this quarter, + the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming an approach + no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814, however, a + magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill, between which + and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was formerly occupied + with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect the hill with + Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an elegant arch, + called <i>Regent Bridge</i>, has been thrown over the hollow, which makes + the descent from the hill into this street easy and agreeable. Thus, in + place of being carried, as formerly, through long and narrow streets, the + great road from <span class="pagenum"><a id="page82" name="page82"></a>[pg + 82]</span>the east into Edinburgh sweeps along the side of the steep and + singular elevation of the Calton Hill; whence the traveller has first a + view of the Old Town, with its elevated buildings crowning the summit of + the adjacent ridges, and rising upon the eye in imposing masses; and, + afterwards, of the New Town finely contrasted with the Old, in the + regularity and elegance of its general outline. + </p> + <p> + <i>Regent Bridge</i> was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is + semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five + feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the + difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The + roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great + arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported by + elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased to + open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and the + building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along the + bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on which + that memorable battle was fought. + </p> + <p> + The engraving<a id="footnotetag1" name="footnotetag1"></a><a + href="#footnote1"><sup>1</sup></a> is an interesting picture of classic + beauty; and as the "approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New + London Bridge are now becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope + this entrance to our metropolis will ultimately present a similar display + of architectural elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to + yield in comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that + the march of taste be quickened in this quarter. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER. + </h3> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Weep, for the word is spoken— + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd— + </p> + <p> + The master chord is broken, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And the master's hand is cold! + </p> + <p> + Romance hath lost her minstrel, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + No more his magic strain + </p> + <p> + Shall throw a sweeter spell around, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + The legends of Almaine. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + His fame had flown before him + </p> + <p class="i2"> + To many a foreign land, + </p> + <p> + His lays are sung by every tongue, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And harp'd by every hand! + </p> + <p> + He came to cull fresh laurels, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + But fate was in their breath, + </p> + <p> + And turn'd his march of triumph + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Into a dirge of death. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + O! all who knew him lov'd him, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + For with his mighty mind, + </p> + <p> + He bore himself so meekly, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + His heart it was so kind! + </p> + <p> + His wildly warbling melodies, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + The storms that round them roll, + </p> + <p> + Are types of the simplicity + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And grandeur of his soul. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Though years of ceaseless suffering + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Had worn him to a shade, + </p> + <p> + So patient was his spirit, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + No wayward plaint he made. + </p> + <p> + E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare + </p> + <p class="i2"> + His victim pure and mild; + </p> + <p> + And stole upon him quietly + </p> + <p class="i2"> + As slumber o'er a child. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Weep, for the word is spoken— + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd— + </p> + <p> + The master chord is broken, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And the master's hand is cold! + </p> + <p> + The master chord is broken, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And the master's hand is cold! + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + PLANCHE. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + YOUNG NAPOLEON. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(For the Mirror.)</i> + </h4> + <p> + It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future destinies + of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To use the + words of the talented author of the <i>Improvisatrice</i>, "Poetry needs + no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be + uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware + that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed the + Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the interest + of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into + consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest + degree, interesting; they serve to display the <i>man</i>, divested of the + "pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot + be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the + world never gave him credit for:—<i>"Posterity will do me justice."</i> + </p> + <p> + I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at + St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was + carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his + society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his + solicitude during the period of seven years, "<i>For him alone,</i>" he + said, "<i>I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some + expectations on earth, they are also for him.</i>" He has declared to + several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on + his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that + Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of + which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection. He + was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this poem + which had been circulated, and <span class="pagenum"><a id="page83" + name="page83"></a>[pg 83]</span> bought and procured them by every means + in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable not a + single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been remarked, + that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and the + idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more. In + neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred." + </p> + <p> + VYVYAN. + </p> + <h3> + TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON. + </h3> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Delightful image of my much loved boy! + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile! + </p> + <p> + No more, alas! will he enkindle joy, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile. + </p> + <p> + My son! my darling son! wert thou but here, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + My bosom should receive thy lovely form: + </p> + <p> + Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear: + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Serenely mild behold the lowering storm. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + I'd be the partner of thy infant cares, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind; + </p> + <p> + Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + My wearied soul should an asylum find. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + My wrongs—my cares—should be forgot with thee, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + My power—imperial dignities—renown— + </p> + <p> + This rock itself would be a heaven to me; + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name. + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + (Signed.) NAPOLEON. + </p> + <p> + Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son." + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + O! Cherished image of my infant heir! + </p> + <p class="i2"> + Thy surface does his lineaments impart:— + </p> + <p> + But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare + </p> + <p class="i2"> + His living form shall never glad my heart. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer + </p> + <p class="i2"> + The settled sadness of thy hapless sire! + </p> + <p> + Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear, + </p> + <p class="i2"> + And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find; + </p> + <p class="i2"> + With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own: + </p> + <p> + Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind, + </p> + <p> + Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne. + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + (Signed.) NAPOLEON. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + THE COLOUR—BLUE. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(To the Editor of the Mirror.)</i> + </h4> + <p> + Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting <i>blue</i>, + as the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of + persons, it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that + Bentley, in his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the + costume of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5, + for his authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but + Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence of + the passage. + </p> + <p> + <i>Twickenham.</i> H. H. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(For the Mirror.)</i> + </h4> + <p> + On the trial of <i>Henry Marshall</i>, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and + deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of + death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was + immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his + speech till a few hours preceding his execution. + </p> + <p> + G. W. N. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + <i>July, 1736</i>—Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going + armed in disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis, + (reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where, + having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought dead, + was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to be dug at + some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as they had put + him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he thrust back the + lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed his hands on the + sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some of the people, in + their first surprise, were for knocking him on the head; but the + executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the mob, thinking + otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor executioner, + (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in a miserable + manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at Bayswater, + where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of blood, and it was + thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The sheriffs' officers, + believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the place of execution + before he was cut down. + </p> + <p> + <i>Sept. 3, 1736.</i>—Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were + executed this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was + perceived to have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen + and others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for, + immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he had + the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with divers + persons he knew, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page84" name="page84"></a>[pg + 84]</span> and to all appearance a perfect recovery was expected. But + notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in great agony, his + bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his rolling from one side + to the other. + </p> + <p> + It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried to + Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited him + and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered the + manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember his + having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with him. + </p> + <p> + G. K. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + LOVE AND JOY. + </h3> + <h4> + AN ALLEGORY. + </h4> + <p> + In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants + descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among the + most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of + Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up beneath + their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all nature seemed + embellished by their presence; they were inseparable companions, and their + growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who had decreed that a lasting + union should be solemnized between them as soon as they arrived at mature + years. But in the meantime, the sons of men deviated from their native + innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the earth with giant strides; and Astrea + with her train of celestial visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love + alone remained, having been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and + conveyed by her to the forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst + the shepherds. But Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded + him to espouse Sorrow, the daughter of Até. He complied with + reluctance, for her features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead + contracted into perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a + wreath of cypress and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom + might be traced a strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen + and unamiable features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of + the father, that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing. + The maids and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast + was observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was + yet an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom. + She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she was + beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but inexpressibly + sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some wild and + melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep, for she + took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of the hamlet + were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in among them and + captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness. She wore on her + head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted with her mother's + cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of Helicon, her tears by + chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the muses' spring has tasted + of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter to follow the steps of her + mother through the world, dropping balm into the wounds she made, and + binding up the hearts she had broken. She follows with her hair loose, her + bosom bare and throbbing, her garments torn by the briars, and her feet + bleeding with the roughness of the path. The nymph is mortal, for so is + her mother; and when she has finished her destined course upon earth, they + shall both expire together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal + and long-betrothed bride. + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER. + </h2> + <h3> + ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(From a Correspondent.)</i> + </h4> + <p> + There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and + Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not visited + by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of the + formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre of + France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given rise, + determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the neighbourhood. + Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of Nonnenworth, I + made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of sixteen miles, + passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the other white and + slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the valley of the Rhine + narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales which the road skirts, are + sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly covered with vines and + fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing in the tints of its leaf, + and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that its thick plantations + present, yet there is a stiffness in the regularity <span class="pagenum"><a + id="page85" name="page85"></a>[pg 85]</span> in which it grows, propped up + by sticks; and it is so short, that one's fancy as to its luxuriance, + (especially if formed from such poetry as <i>Childe Harold</i>,) is + certainly disappointed. I made a digression from the road up the little + river Aar, which falls into the Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture + you cannot imagine. The stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom + rocky, and its banks, for a considerable distance, are literally + perpendicular rocks. The Aar is a perfect specimen of the mountain + torrent; it rises in the Eiffel mountains; and, I am told, in the winter + does much mischief by inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh + rivulets, particularly some parts of the Dee. This <i>détour</i> + having taken up more time than I expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in + time for the supper at the rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish + wine, and the company of an agreeable German tourist who was staying + there, made ample amends for the fatigues of the day. + </p> + <p> + In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs down + from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of + pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees + scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of which + are composed of what is called, in the language of geology, <i>tufa</i>, + and in that of the country, <i>dukstein</i>, or <i>trass</i>. It is a + stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it assumes + a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried throughout the + valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it is in great + request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin to the trade + in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled there about a + century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower part of the mass + is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore preferred by the + quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose and sandy, and unfit + for use. You must not suppose the stream to be clear like the Aar, for it + is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same colour, being in fact a river + of trass in solution. The banks, however, are picturesque and well wooded, + particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old castle of peculiar architecture, + built on an elevated rock, and formerly belonging to the family of + Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is surrounded with caverns and + halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and profusely ornamented with fine + oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees. You may almost fancy yourself on + magic ground, and looking on a fairy castle, so peculiar is the effect. I + next reached Burgbrohl and Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills, + for the stone is in many places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is + a considerable trade in them to Holland, and thence to England and other + countries. Half an hour next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg, + one of the hills forming the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a + magnificent prospect on the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood, + with the old six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel + chain enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to + give me a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence + to the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very + different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching + Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to + withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene close + under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines sometime + ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the distance to be + within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it that + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view. + </p> + <p> + And robes the mountain in its azure hue." + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to + the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain + plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on the + eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel of the + river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks entirely. This + table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic formation, and of a + conical form, some of them having central funnels or craters, from which + the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete are the Hirschenberg, + near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that village and Olburg, the + Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which last rises about one + thousand feet above the level of the surrounding surface. There are many + others extending for some distance in the Eiffel chain and in the + vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to guide the footsteps + of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is nearly circular and + crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about a mile and a quarter + in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet, but it is full of + holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its water is blueish, very + cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been examined by several + geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the <span class="pagenum"><a + id="page86" name="page86"></a>[pg 86]</span> famous Humboldt, and there is + no doubt that this great reservoir is the crater of an extinct volcano. + The fragments and minerals thrown up on the banks are analogous to those + found in other volcanic countries; and on one side (that towards + Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued lava, which is supposed to + have flowed from the crater during the last eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose + opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks it not improbable that this + may have been the eruption recorded by Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as + having ravaged the country of the Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of + Nero. I should not forget to mention that there is a cavern within the + basin of the lake, the air of which is so stifling and noxious, that + animals die if forced to remain in it, and lights are extinguished by the + gas—phenomena precisely similar to those of the well-known Grotto + del Cane, near Naples. + </p> + <p> + While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a word + on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over this + country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or, Carbal, + and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the latter + district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the difference + of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial soil in the + other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a deluge, is, I + believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it is the actual + substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm paste. The rain has + always been observed to fall heavily after eruptions, and the water + running down the sides of the hills, has formed this crust, which makes + the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same causes are in action now; and + if ever the lake should rise so high as to burst its banks, it would + overflow the whole country, and carry terrible destruction with it. Such + an event was actually foreseen by the sagacious monks who formerly + inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal nearly a mile long, to give the + water vent; and the discharge by it continues to this day. The abbey is + now untenanted, and is in a deplorable state of ruin; it was once + celebrated for its hospitality and a fine gallery of pictures; all, + however, have vanished, and the ruins are now the property of M. Delius, a + magistrate of Treves. The situation is so beautiful, surrounded as it is + with fine timber, that one would suppose it worth his while to repair the + place, particularly as stone is so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It + forms, however, as it is, a picturesque addition to the interest of the + excursion to the lake, I returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well + satisfied with my inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to + the abbey is little more than five miles, and it is one which I would + advise all tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they + be geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of. + Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the + funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to + the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us + that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being + one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such + signs of terror. + </p> + <p> + D. + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + THE SKETCH-BOOK + </h2> + <h3> + GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles.</i> + </h4> + <p> + The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the + windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted + with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It + lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters + through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the + surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of Bowood + on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq. Towards + the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last chalky + cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles of + Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front of + the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond. + </p> + <p> + This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and + descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the + bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into the + water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and poplars, + among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following inscription:—"M.S. + Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali grassante, publicè + missus, ipse miserrimè periit—1804. Fratri posuit."—Passing + round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels, which leads to the + green in front of the house, where, dipping a small slope, the path passes + near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on the magnificent line + <span class="pagenum"><a id="page87" name="page87"></a>[pg 87]</span>of + Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought could not be well + avoided: + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "When in thy sight another's vast domain + </p> + <p> + Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain? + </p> + <p> + Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state + </p> + <p> + Above the lowly, but beneath the great; + </p> + <p> + And still his name with gratitude revere, + </p> + <p> + Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here." + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn, + from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a dark + passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the + fountain. + </p> + <p> + The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was + probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when + at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the + farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this mitred + lord. It has the appearance of being <i>monastic</i>, but a more ornate + capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of 1688. I must + again venture to give the appropriate inscription:— + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "To count the brief and unreturning hours, + </p> + <p> + This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers, + </p> + <p> + Which came forth in their beauty—smiled and died, + </p> + <p> + Blooming and withering round its ancient side. + </p> + <p> + Mortal, thy day is passing—see that flower, + </p> + <p> + And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers; a + step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with + crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as + their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey. + </p> + <p> + The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the + gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I + add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by + the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most + exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers of + the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties of + the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine Bingham, + being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame at the bar. + The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy his muse whose + poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed over the large + Indian shell:— + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar, + </p> + <p> + I drink the whelming tide no more; + </p> + <p> + But in this rock, remote and still, + </p> + <p> + Now serve to pour the murmuring rill. + </p> + <p> + Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept— + </p> + <p> + Oh! like his song, who placed me here, + </p> + <p> + The sweetest song to Memory dear, + </p> + <p> + When life's tumultuous storms are past, + </p> + <p> + May we, to such sweet music, close at last + </p> + <p> + The eyelids that have wept!" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic + stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a + narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with + fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on + which an hour-glass is carved. + </p> + <p> + A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in + that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in + such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless pride, + tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters, + distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St. + John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters, Sir + Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy—poets as well + as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North, + Esq. + </p> + <p> + Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:— + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss + </p> + <p> + Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond, + there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century, + would have been idolatrous! + </p> + <p> + To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may + be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the + reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen the + persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return, and + many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the branches of + that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let us now rest; it + stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden which we have just + perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard, and looks on to an old + sun-dial, once a <i>cross</i>. The <i>cross</i> was found broken at its + foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I have brought the + interesting fragment again into light, and placed it conspicuously + opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I think it not + unlikely was planted by Townson on his <i>restoration</i>. The + accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four steps + at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have been worn + in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling, by the + forefathers of <span class="pagenum"><a id="page88" name="page88"></a>[pg + 88]</span> the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed. From a seat near + this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and battlements of the church, + on one side; and on the other you look over a great extent of country. On + a still summer's evening, the distant sound of the hurrying coaches, on + the great London road, are heard as they pass to and from the metropolis. + On this spot this last admonitory inscription fronts you:— + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "There lie the village dead, and there too I, + </p> + <p> + When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie. + </p> + <p> + Look round, the distant prospect is display'd, + </p> + <p> + Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade. + </p> + <p> + Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road, + </p> + <p> + But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <h4> + <i>History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles.</i> + </h4> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS. + </h2> + <h3> + PAPER MARKS. + </h3> + <div class="figure" style="width:75%;"> + <a href="images/326-2.png"><img width="75%" src="images/326-2.png" alt="" /></a> + </div> + <p> + Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in + this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign of + Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture + existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a + paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book + printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled + "Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by + John Tate, jun. + </p> + <p> + The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they + gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained, + though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. <i>Post</i> + paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on + specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar + mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open <i>hand</i> is a + very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is + considerably altered in size and texture. + </p> + <p> + <i>Fool's-Cap</i>—the name is still continued though the original + design of a fool's cap is relinquished. + </p> + <p> + <span class="pagenum"><a id="page89" name="page89"></a>[pg 89]</span> + </p> + <p> + <i>Pot Paper.</i>—There were various designs of pots or drinking + vessels; this paper retains its proportions and size according to early + specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England. + </p> + <p> + The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper + with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John + Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good. + </p> + <p> + Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will or + caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other + non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head + surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe, initials + of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th century and + commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with supporters. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII. + </h3> + <p> + The only alteration in the following is the difference of the orthography + which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are extracts from + a curious manuscript, containing directions for the household of + HenryVIII. + </p> + <p> + "His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten, + or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the + stocks. + </p> + <p> + "His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables, + forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's houses, + where he goes to visit. + </p> + <p> + "Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie + all night on the ground before the kitchen fire. + </p> + <p> + "No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the ladies. + </p> + <p> + "Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four. + </p> + <p> + "The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging + or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime. + </p> + <p> + "The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the company + of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal person. + </p> + <p> + "There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which + dishes and other things are often broken! + </p> + <p> + "The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids. + </p> + <p> + "The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient being + allowed to them. + </p> + <p> + "Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's chambers.<a + id="footnotetag2" name="footnotetag2"></a><a href="#footnote2"><sup>2</sup></a> + </p> + <p> + "The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale. + </p> + <p> + "Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds. + </p> + <p> + "Ordered—that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session + of parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal + displeasure." + </p> + <p> + The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did, + perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous + manuscript. + </p> + <p> + W. H. H. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR. + </h3> + <p> + In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard <i>Forthave</i>, + who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented "<i>a vinegar</i>," + which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from this it may be + concluded that the length of time has caused the above corruption. The + article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar." + </p> + <p> + W. H. H. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + FISH. + </h3> + <p> + Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical + reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element + congealed, or a jelly of water." + </p> + <p> + It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to + touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should not + be enough left to regale their sovereign." + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION. + </h3> + <p> + In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent as + much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a tailor in + Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming into the shop, + liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as much for + himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion. The knight + was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to cut his gown + as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's was made "of the + same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the <i>gentleman's</i> + fashion again. + </p> + <p> + C. F E. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + CONVEYANCING. + </h3> + <p> + The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the + Cave <span class="pagenum"><a id="page90" name="page90"></a>[pg 90]</span> + of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary and + redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in Macpelah, + which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was therein, and + all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the borders round + about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a modern conveyance + cannot well be more minutely characterized. + </p> + <hr /> + <h2> + SPIRIT OF THE PUBLIC JOURNALS + </h2> + <h3> + THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT. + </h3> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?" + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + GAY. + </p> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance + </p> + <p> + Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science! + </p> + <p> + They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics, + </p> + <p> + And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine, + </p> + <p> + While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring— + </p> + <p> + And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short, + </p> + <p> + With their chemical use of the still and retort. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.) + </p> + <p> + For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-. + </p> + <p> + And to make both ends meet they give little assistance, + </p> + <p> + With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish, + </p> + <p> + Except just the bounds of their own native parish; + </p> + <p> + And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn, + </p> + <p> + While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours, + </p> + <p> + The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers; + </p> + <p> + Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains, + </p> + <p> + And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction— + </p> + <p> + They drive us from home by electric attraction— + </p> + <p> + And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity, + </p> + <p> + I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving, + </p> + <p> + Anatomy leads them to give up the carving; + </p> + <p> + And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy, + </p> + <p> + While they study the line of the <i>os humeri</i>. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap, + </p> + <p> + We awake with a din about limestone and trap; + </p> + <p> + And the fire is extinguished past regeneration, + </p> + <p> + For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + 'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen, + </p> + <p> + Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen, + </p> + <p> + Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia, + </p> + <p> + And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + The first son becomes half a fool in reality, + </p> + <p> + While the mother is watching his large ideality; + </p> + <p> + And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion, + </p> + <p> + For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution. + </p> + </div> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning, + </p> + <p> + Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning; + </p> + <p> + The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,— + </p> + <p> + So here's to plain English!—a plague on their ologies! + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + <i>London Mag.</i> + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + THE EDITOR'S ROOM. + </h3> + <p> + <i>July 28, 1828.</i> + </p> + <p> + And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on + Saturday next?—We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and + Pasta is going—and Velluti is out of voice—and they are + playing tragedies at the Haymarket—and Vauxhall will never be dry + again—and the Funny Club are drenched to their skins every day—and + "the sweet shady side of Pall Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be + dull in the country if this weather continue—but not so dirty as + upon the Macadam. So go. + </p> + <p> + We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after business. + It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland, and Turkey, + and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish. The stocks are + rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the Squirearchy are + beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned. That will be a sad + drawback from the delights of a two-shilling quartern-loaf. For ourselves, + we have plenty of work cut out for us, in this our abiding place. The + fewer the books which are published, the more we shall have to draw upon + our own genius; and the duller the season, the more vivacious must we be + to put our readers in spirits. But we have consolation approaching in the + shape of amusing work. Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers + will begin to lie, "like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious + murders, what heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the + Paddington Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's + doors! We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;—and + we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if + they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont to + do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even changing + the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown themselves when + parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own hands, and write a + "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor pretenders <span + class="pagenum"><a id="page91" name="page91"></a>[pg 91]</span> to the + secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the field.—Ibid. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + AWKWARDNESS. + </h3> + <p> + Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of life. + There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the smallest + approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,—he hobbles, or jumps, + or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps—but creeping, sidling, + limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,—he + fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back of + it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It is + the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that + individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up + and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at an + amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees, flying + like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to another, + destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good, gray + kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and Willis's + shop. The horse begins to gallop—Bless our soul! the gentleman will + decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like a peal + of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own shoulders, and + not poking out between your charger's ears; and your horse ought to use <i>its</i> + exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very cold day, you have + cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your brows, as if you had + run the distance in half the time on foot. + </p> + <p> + People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step into + this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of such + nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had breakfasted + on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give him a shake like + a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give yourself a rest? Poor + man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to come! But the other + gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered his body. Every time + my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his twig with a few yards of + twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a whupp," the suddenness of + the accelerated motion makes his great, round head flop from the centre of + his short, thick neck, and come with such violence on the unstuffed back, + that his hat is sent down upon the bridge of his nose with a vehemence + which might well nigh carry it away. Do you say that man is capable of + taking a <i>pleasure</i> ride? Before he has been bumped three miles, + every pull of wind will be jerked out of his body, and by the time he has + arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead man. If that man prospers in the + world, he commits suicide the moment he sets up his carriage. + </p> + <p> + We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of + thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in + the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking + all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal, the + unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms, crouches + up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face, kicks out his + legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes back to the place + puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's burst. Is this + dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can this be a specimen + of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert confirmation, which + sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow, and makes beauty float + before our ravished senses, stealing our admiration by the gracefulness of + each new motion, till at last our souls thrill to each warning movement, + and dissolve into ecstasy and love? + </p> + <p> + People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman + might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of + cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the + velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its + tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands + swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while + the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism detained + the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to move. After + you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze it, as if it + were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not withdraw it to your + side, and keep it in the station where nature and comfort alike tell you + it ought to be? Do you think your breeches' pocket the most proper place + to push your daddle into? Do you put it there to guard the solitary + half-crown from the rapacity of your friend; or do you put it across your + breast in case of an unexpected winder from your apparently peaceable + acquaintance on the opposite side? + </p> + <p> + Is it not quite absurd that a man can't <span class="pagenum"><a + id="page92" name="page92"></a>[pg 92]</span> even take a glass of wine + without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at + breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of wine + after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The egg + lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the table, you + have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating nutriment a + distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a confoundedly + small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To avoid this, + you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have to lay it down + again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the whole, we + disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old mode at + Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and purified + with a glass of hot rum. + </p> + <p> + But the glass of wine—can anything be more easy? One would think not—but + if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend, you will + see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts to do with + ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest thing in the + world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps the decanter, + leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the glittering crystal, + which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then remark at what an acute + angle he holds his right elbow as if he were meditating an assault on his + neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the bottle down again as if his + object were to shake the pure ichor, and make it muddy as his own brains. + Mark how the animal seizes his glass,—by heavens he will break it + into a thousand fragments! See how he bows his lubberly head to meet half + way the glorious cargo; how he slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning + gullet, and chucks down the glass so as almost to break its stem after he + has emptied it of its contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil! + Call you that taking a glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your + gullet as you would put small beer into a barrel,—but it is not—oh, + no! it is not taking, so as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or + glowing, warm, tinted, beautiful caveza! + </p> + <p> + A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady, + perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see when + they enter the room, how differently they behave.—How gracefully she + waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and + beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to her + on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the white of + his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle dangle on + his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how he ducks to + the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to his wife, who, + by this time is giving a most spirited account of the state of the roads, + and the civility of the postilions near the Borders. + </p> + <p> + Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes + tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five feet + eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of their + back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very ground. Let + no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of ours in + Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation by a sound + which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry or a troop + of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the window, and + are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high stumping on the + pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and we stake our + credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of his majesty's + subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height—We mean from five feet + eleven (our own height) up to six feet three. + </p> + <p> + Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural, and + therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall man, if + he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if it be + buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling and + absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and leads + us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a specimen of + that rare bird, the flying tailor. + </p> + <p> + We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is + famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual share, + we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid view in a + troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a walking-stick chair + is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom or ever remain at + home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some "bushy bourne or + mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior the female is to + the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter of an hour after + the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to start, each with her + walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule dangling from her wrist. + The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with their great, heavy + Wellingtons, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page93" name="page93"></a>[pg 93]</span> + which, after walking half a mile, pinch them at the toe, and make the + pleasure excursion confine them to the house for weeks. Then some fool, + the first gate or stile we come to, is sure to show off his vaulting, and + upsets himself in the ditch on the opposite side, instead of going quietly + over and helping the damosels across. And then, if he does attempt the + polite, how awkwardly the monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow + ditch with a plank across it—He goes only half way, and standing in + the middle of the plank, stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting + maiden so forcibly, that before he has time to get out of the way, the + impetus his own tug has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock + and nettles, which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found + at the thoroughfares in every field. + </p> + <p> + We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and + the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When + people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly <i>to + the object</i>, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it + is wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has + concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly + loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling + behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never + remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the <i>mauvaise + honte</i> with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered souchong? + Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband. + </p> + <p> + Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of its + own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable situation + than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not in the + heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a solitary + male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion appears + absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner dressed out in + satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in gingham gowns or + calico prints, every morning of your life ever after. There she is, + supported by her old father, decked out in his old-fashioned brown coat, + with a wig of the same colour, beautifully relieving the burning redness + of his huge projecting ears; and the mother, puffed up like an overgrown + bolster, encouraging the trembling girl, and joining her maiden aunts of + full fifty years, in telling her to take courage, for it is what they must + all come to. Bride's-maids and mutual friends make up the company; and + there, standing out before this assemblage, you assent to everything the + curate, or, if you are rich enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say, + shewing your knock-knees in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to + an admiring bevy of the servants of both families, laughing and tittering + from the squire's pew in the gallery. Then the parting!—The mother's + injunctions to the juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to + write within the week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you + forgot nothing?"—the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of + eyes! By Hercules!—there is but one situation more unpleasant <i>in</i> + this world, and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and + jailor, preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter <i>out</i> of it. + The lady all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep + from creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her + nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of + delicacy and reserve. + </p> + <p> + <i>Blackwood's Magazine.</i> + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS. + </h2> + <h3> + CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS. + </h3> + <h4> + <i>(From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in + China.)</i> + </h4> + <h3> + BURIAL. + </h3> + <p> + No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial + order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign + of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the + empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the + Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south. + </p> + <h3> + THE NEW YEAR. + </h3> + <p> + The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the + time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the + greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the + people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares + and their labours at the new year. + </p> + <p> + The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and + creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are + abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all + smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors. + </p> + <p> + On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals of + office, <span class="pagenum"><a id="page94" name="page94"></a>[pg 94]</span> + throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the 20th of the + first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of rest from the + ordinary official business of government. They attend, however, to + extraordinary cases. + </p> + <p> + During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various + domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the + hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires. + </p> + <p> + On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and + Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the + best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down, + and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the + ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they can, + and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit all the + gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense, gilt + paper, make bows, and prostrate pray. + </p> + <p> + These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about daylight + in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a red paper + card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In the house, + sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and appear before the + heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new year. + </p> + <p> + After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting, + idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and + workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the + necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton, + generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary + channel. + </p> + <h3> + MEETING THE SPRING. + </h3> + <p> + February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called + Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters the + 15º of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring + season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the + district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an open + chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs seated + among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession. + </p> + <p> + He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the + following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar style. + There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having been + paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel its + labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this official + priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves it to the + populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces; and so the + foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this ancient usage is + supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year. + </p> + <h3> + PAWNBROKING. + </h3> + <p> + Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided + into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior + walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other + granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with + similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the government; + but there are others, we are informed, that exist without this sanction, + and are directed to the relief of the mercantile interest. These + assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of an Equitable Loan + Company, making advances upon cargoes and large deposits of goods. + </p> + <p> + These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over the + door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but, whether + they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of property, we + will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem, with a grace + of three months. + </p> + <h3> + TORTURE. + </h3> + <p> + In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the + magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of + men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small + apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are + many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in every + part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many instances of + suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured till death + ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the emperor, against + a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a confession of + homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province, that on the 24th + of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton, having received an + appointment for his high literary attainments, to the magistracy of a Heen + district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a young man, on his bridal + day, to the torture, because he would not resign the band of music which + he had engaged to accompany, according to law and usage, his intended wife + to his father's house. The young <span class="pagenum"><a id="page95" + name="page95"></a>[pg 95]</span> man's name was Kwanfa. He died under the + torture, and the affrighted magistrate went and hanged himself. + </p> + <h3> + CHINESE PRISON. + </h3> + <p> + Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private + apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and + fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall, + till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over, the + fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have not + money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is every + alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of + punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper) + to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners + are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered + down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth, whilst + the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This place of + torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a term + equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell." + </p> + <h3> + TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS. + </h3> + <p> + It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the same + light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow foreigners + entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is no law against + walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the Europeans in China + to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally violate them, and attempt + a longer walk. Once round the city walls has frequently been effected, but + always at the risk of a scuffle, an assault and battery, from the idle and + mischievous among the native population. On former occasions, some of the + foreign tourists have returned to the factories relieved of the burden of + their watches and clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage + round, robbed of his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked. + </p> + <p> + A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning, + and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance + round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards, + two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but + they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of + men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats, + and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really + endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about, and + fight and run alternately the distance of several miles. + </p> + <p> + We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised at + the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they effected + their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on their guard; + and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar scrape, they + cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger. + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <h2> + THE GATHERER + </h2> + <div class="poem"> + <div class="stanza"> + <p> + "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles." + </p> + </div> + </div> + <p> + SHAKSPEARE. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + BAPTISMAL PROMISES. + </h3> + <p> + One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on + being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of + qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her, said, + with much <i>naiveté</i>, "I've a yeard that they promised to give + me hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though." + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + A GOOD WIFE. + </h3> + <p> + The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble + family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and + inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a seat + belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.—<i>Taken + from Mist's Journal</i>. + </p> + <p> + "Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir + devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and + shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was still + the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my desires, + disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in apparence + above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit, sweetly + tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech, blest with + silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave fashion to + win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex; entyre with + few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and persons in the + honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as giving the occasion: + Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir greatest extremity most + patient, sending up hir pure soule with many zealous prayers and hymnes to + hir maker; powring forth hir passionate heart with affectionate streams of + love to hir"— + </p> + <p> + <span class="pagenum"><a id="page96" name="page96"></a>[pg 96]</span> + </p> + <p> + "Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time + his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any further. + </p> + <p> + T. H. + </p> + <hr /> + <p> + At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one + article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by + no means desirable—<i>a new drop</i>. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + BRITISH TARS, + </h3> + <p> + Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to + concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable + association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote will + exemplify:—Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some of + a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in + London, the words "<i>Peace and Concord</i>" figured at full length in + characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, <i>Conquered</i>!" exclaimed + an honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words; + "shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '<i>Conquered</i>' yet?" and + so saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil + explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored + Peace, and allowed Concord to continue. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + REMEDY FOR DULNESS. + </h3> + <p> + Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a + thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out of + company." + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + NATIONAL COMPLAINTS. + </h3> + <p> + The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the <i>French roast beef</i>; the + Frenchmen in London complain of the <i>British brandy</i>. + </p> + <p> + The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served + in the <i>cavalry</i>, as they are so expert in <i>making a charge</i>. + </p> + <p> + A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived at + <i>Mr. Bailey's, senior</i>, was shown to the <i>Old Bailey</i>, by a + Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was his + friend's levee. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + BENEFIT OF CORRECTION. + </h3> + <p> + A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools did + not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that + whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a boy + <i>smart</i>. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + FRENCH AND ENGLISH. + </h3> + <p> + "<i>C'est la Soupe</i>," says one of the best of proverbs, "<i>qui fait le + Soldat</i>;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our + troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact, than + their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery. The + English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals, by + which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt to a + cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the same pot, + and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than the simple <i>Rôti</i> + could ever be. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + THE FAMILY SUIT. + </h3> + <p> + The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative + practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform + him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause + which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years. Instead + of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran of the + law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by this + suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me, and to + portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it would have + furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your children and + grand-children." + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + PORK CHOPS. + </h3> + <p> + It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to + summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other grotesque + or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the feat by + supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops. + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + ARDUOUS BAPTISM. + </h3> + <p> + An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman, + who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of + the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual, + and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How + difficult this child is to baptize!" + </p> + <hr /> + <h3> + DULL READING. + </h3> + <p> + St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable + dull reader. "<i>Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non inveniat</i>." + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <blockquote class="footnote"> + <p> + <a id="footnote1" name="footnote1"></a> <b>Footnote 1</b>: <a + href="#footnotetag1">(return)</a> + </p> + <p> + from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt. + </p> + </blockquote> + <blockquote class="footnote"> + <p> + <a id="footnote2" name="footnote2"></a> <b>Footnote 2</b>: <a + href="#footnotetag2">(return)</a> + </p> + <p> + Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants to run about to + warm themselves with different diversions before going to bed. + </p> + </blockquote> + <hr class="full" /> + <p> + <i>Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near + Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, + Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers.</i> + </p> + <hr class="full" /> + <p> + ***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, + AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828*** + </p> + <p> + ******* This file should be named 10475-h.txt or 10475-h.zip ******* + </p> + <p> + This and all associated files of various formats will be found in:<br /> <a + href="https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/4/7/10475">https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/4/7/10475</a> + </p> + <p> + Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions will be + renamed. + </p> + <p> + Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no one + owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation (and + you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without permission + and without paying copyright royalties. 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You may copy it, give it away or +re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included +with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org + + + + + + + + +Title: The Mirror of Literature, Amusement, and Instruction, Vol. 12, +Issue 326, August 9, 1828 + +Author: Various + +Release Date: December 16, 2003 [eBook #10475] + +Language: English + +Character set encoding: US-ASCII + + +***START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, +AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828*** + + +E-text prepared by Jonathan Ingram, Charles Bidwell, and the Prooject +Gutenberg Online Distributed Proofreading Team + + + +Note: Project Gutenberg also has an HTML version of this + file which includes the original illustration. + See 10475-h.htm or 10475-h.zip: + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h/10475-h.htm) + or + (http://www.ibiblio.org/gutenberg/1/0/4/7/10475/10475-h.zip) + + + + +THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, AND INSTRUCTION. + +VOL. 12, No. 326.] SATURDAY, AUGUST 9, 1828. [PRICE 2d. + + + + * * * * * + + + + + +[Illustration] + + + +REGENT BRIDGE, EDINBURGH. + + +Edinburgh, "the Queen of the North," abounds in splendid specimens of +classical architecture. Since the year 1769, when the building of the +New Town commenced, its improvement has been prosecuted with +extraordinary zeal; consequently, the city has not only been extended on +all sides, but has received the addition of some magnificent public +edifices, while the access to it from every quarter has been greatly +facilitated and embellished. Of the last-mentioned improvement our +engraving is a mere vignette, but it deserves to rank among the most +superb of those additions. + +The inconvenience of the access to Edinburgh by the great London road +was long a subject of general regret. In entering the city from this +quarter, the road lay through narrow and inconvenient streets, forming +an approach no way suited to the general elegance of the place. In 1814, +however, a magnificent entrance was commenced across the Calton Hill, +between which and Prince's street a deep ravine intervened, which was +formerly occupied with old and ill-built streets. In order to connect +the hill with Prince's-street, all these have been swept away, and an +elegant arch, called _Regent Bridge_, has been thrown over the hollow, +which makes the descent from the hill into this street easy and +agreeable. Thus, in place of being carried, as formerly, through long +and narrow streets, the great road from the east into Edinburgh sweeps +along the side of the steep and singular elevation of the Calton Hill; +whence the traveller has first a view of the Old Town, with its elevated +buildings crowning the summit of the adjacent ridges, and rising upon +the eye in imposing masses; and, afterwards, of the New Town finely +contrasted with the Old, in the regularity and elegance of its general +outline. + +_Regent Bridge_ was begun in 1816, and finished in 1819. The arch is +semicircular, and fifty feet wide. At the north front it is forty-five +feet in height, and at the south front sixty-four feet two inches, the +difference being occasioned by the ground declining to the south. The +roadway is formed by a number of reverse arches on each side. The great +arch is ornamented on the south and north by two open arches, supported +by elegant columns of the Corinthian order. The whole property purchased +to open the communication to the city by this bridge cost 52,000l, and +the building areas sold for the immense sum of 35,000l. The street along +the bridge is called Waterloo-place, as it was founded in the year on +which that memorable battle was fought. + +The engraving[1] is an interesting picture of classic beauty; and as the +"approaches" and proposed "dry arches" to the New London Bridge are now +becoming matters of speculative interest, we hope this entrance to our +metropolis will ultimately present a similar display of architectural +elegance. LONDON, with all her opulence, ought not to yield in +comparison with any city in the world; and it is high time that the +march of taste be quickened in this quarter. + + [1] from an exquisite lithograph by J. Goldicutt. + + * * * * * + + +ON THE DEATH OF CARL MARIA VON WEBER. + + + Weep, for the word is spoken-- + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd-- + The master chord is broken, + And the master's hand is cold! + Romance hath lost her minstrel, + No more his magic strain + Shall throw a sweeter spell around, + The legends of Almaine. + + His fame had flown before him + To many a foreign land, + His lays are sung by every tongue, + And harp'd by every hand! + He came to cull fresh laurels, + But fate was in their breath, + And turn'd his march of triumph + Into a dirge of death. + + O! all who knew him lov'd him, + For with his mighty mind, + He bore himself so meekly, + His heart it was so kind! + His wildly warbling melodies, + The storms that round them roll, + Are types of the simplicity + And grandeur of his soul. + + Though years of ceaseless suffering + Had worn him to a shade, + So patient was his spirit, + No wayward plaint he made. + E'en death itself seem'd loath to scare + His victim pure and mild; + And stole upon him quietly + As slumber o'er a child. + + Weep, for the word is spoken-- + Mourn, for the knell hath knoll'd-- + The master chord is broken, + And the master's hand is cold! + The master chord is broken, + And the master's hand is cold! + +PLANCHE. + + * * * * * + + +YOUNG NAPOLEON. + +_(For the Mirror.)_ + + +It is impossible at this time of day, to foretell how the future +destinies of Europe may be influenced by the subject of these lines. To +use the words of the talented author of the _Improvisatrice_, "Poetry +needs no preface." However in this instance, a few remarks may not be +uninteresting. Until I met with the following stanzas, I was not aware +that Napoleon had been a votary of the muses. He has certainly climbed +the Parnassian mount with considerable success, whether we take the +interest of the subject, or the correctness of the versification into +consideration. Memorials like these of such a man, are, in the highest +degree, interesting; they serve to display the _man_, divested of the +"pomp and circumstance" of royalty. That Napoleon had many faults cannot +be disputed, but it is equally clear that he possessed many virtues the +world never gave him credit for:--_"Posterity will do me justice."_ + +I subjoin two translations of the beautiful lines written by Napoleon at +St. Helena, on the portrait of his son. The love he bore to his son was +carried to enthusiasm. According to those persons who had access to his +society at St. Helena, his young heir was the continual object of his +solicitude during the period of seven years, "_For him alone,_" he said, +"_I returned from the Island of Elba, and if I still form some +expectations on earth, they are also for him._" He has declared to +several of his suite, that he every day suffered the greatest anxiety on +his account. Since I met with these lines however, I have found that +Napoleon had in his youth composed a poem on Corsica, some extracts of +which are to be found in "Les Annales de l'Europe" a German collection. +He was exceedingly anxious in after life to destroy the copies of this +poem which had been circulated, and bought and procured them by every +means in his power for the purpose of destroying them; it is probable +not a single copy is in existence at the present period. It has been +remarked, that, "it requires nothing short of the solitude of exile, and +the idolatry which he manifested for his son, to inspire him once more. +In neither of the original poems is it indicated which he preferred." + +VYVYAN. + + +TO THE PORTRAIT OF MY SON. + + + Delightful image of my much loved boy! + Behold his eyes, his looks, his cherub smile! + No more, alas! will he enkindle joy, + Nor on some kindlier shore my woes beguile. + + My son! my darling son! wert thou but here, + My bosom should receive thy lovely form: + Thou'dst soothe my gloomy hours with converse dear: + Serenely mild behold the lowering storm. + + I'd be the partner of thy infant cares, + And pour instruction o'er thy expanding mind; + Whilst in thy heart, in my declining years, + My wearied soul should an asylum find. + + My wrongs--my cares--should be forgot with thee, + My power--imperial dignities--renown-- + This rock itself would be a heaven to me; + Thine arms more cherished than the victor's crown. + + O! in thine arms, my son! I could forget that fame + Shall give me, through all time, a never dying name. + +(Signed.) NAPOLEON. + + +Another version is subjoined of lines, "To the Portrait of My Son." + + + O! Cherished image of my infant heir! + Thy surface does his lineaments impart:-- + But ah! thou liv'st not. On this rock so bare + His living form shall never glad my heart. + + My second-self! how would'st thy presence cheer + The settled sadness of thy hapless sire! + Thine infancy with tenderness I'd rear, + And thou should'st warm my age with youthful fire. + + In thee, a truly glorious crown I'd find; + With thee, upon this rock a heaven should own: + Thy kiss would chase past conquests from my mind, + Which raised me demi-god on Gallia's throne. + +(Signed.) NAPOLEON. + + * * * * * + + +THE COLOUR--BLUE. + +_(To the Editor of the Mirror.)_ + + +Observing in Number 323 of the MIRROR, an article respecting _blue_, as +the appointed colour for the clothes of certain descriptions of persons, +it may, perhaps, not be wholly irrelevant to observe that Bentley, in +his "Dissertation on Phalaris," page 258, mentions blue as the costume +of his guards, and quotes Cicero's "Tusculan Questions," lib. 5, for his +authority. I cannot at present turn to the passage in Cicero, but +Bentley's quotation may surely be accepted as evidence of the existence +of the passage. + +_Twickenham._ H. H. + + * * * * * + + +EXTRAORDINARY CRIMINALS. + +_(For the Mirror.)_ + + +On the trial of _Henry Marshall_, Dec. 4, 1723, for murder and +deer-stealing, a very remarkable circumstance took place. Sentence of +death had no sooner been pronounced on this offender, than he was +immediately deprived of the use of his tongue; nor did he recover his +speech till a few hours preceding his execution. + +G. W. N. + + * * * * * + + +_July, 1736_--Reynolds, condemned upon the Black Act, for going armed in +disguise, in pulling down Lothbury turn-pike, with one Baylis, +(reprieved, and transported for 14 years,) was carried to Tyburn, where, +having prayed and sung psalms, he was turned off, and being thought +dead, was cut down by the hangman as usual, who had procured a hole to +be dug at some distance from the gallows, to bury him in; but just as +they had put him into his coffin, and were about to fasten him up, he +thrust back the lid, and to the astonishment of the spectators, placed +his hands on the sides of the coffin in order to raise himself up. Some +of the people, in their first surprise, were for knocking him on the +head; but the executioner insisted upon hanging him up again; when the +mob, thinking otherwise, cried, "Save his life," and fell upon the poor +executioner, (who stickled hard for fulfilling the law,) and beat him in +a miserable manner; they then carried the prisoner to a public-house at +Bayswater, where he was put to bed; he vomited about three pints of +blood, and it was thought he would recover; but he died soon after. The +sheriffs' officers, believing the prisoner dead, had retired from the +place of execution before he was cut down. + +_Sept. 3, 1736._--Venham and Harding, two malefactors, were executed +this day at Bristol. After they were cut down, Venham was perceived to +have life in him, when put in the coffin; and some lightermen and +others, having carried him to a house, a surgeon, whom they sent for, +immediately opened a vein, which so far recovered his senses, that he +had the use of speech, sat upright, rubbed his knees, shook hands with +divers persons he knew, and to all appearance a perfect recovery was +expected. But notwithstanding this, he died about eleven o'clock in +great agony, his bowels being very much convulsed, as appeared by his +rolling from one side to the other. + +It is remarkable also, that Harding came to life again, and was carried +to Bridewell, and the next day to Newgate, where several people visited +him and gave him money, who were very inquisitive whether he remembered +the manner of his execution; to which he replied, he could only remember +his having been at the gallows, and knew nothing of Venham being with +him. + +G. K. + + * * * * * + + +LOVE AND JOY. + +AN ALLEGORY. + + +In the happy period of the golden age when all the celestial inhabitants +descended upon the earth and conversed familiarly with mortals, among +the most cherished of the heavenly powers were twins, the offspring of +Jupiter, Love, and Joy. Wherever they appeared, flowers sprung up +beneath their feet, the sun shone with a brighter radiance, and all +nature seemed embellished by their presence; they were inseparable +companions, and their growing attachment was favoured by Jupiter, who +had decreed that a lasting union should be solemnized between them as +soon as they arrived at mature years. But in the meantime, the sons of +men deviated from their native innocence; vice and ruin over-ran the +earth with giant strides; and Astrea with her train of celestial +visitants, forsook their polluted abode; Love alone remained, having +been stolen away by Hope, who was his nurse, and conveyed by her to the +forest of Arcadia, where he was brought up amongst the shepherds. But +Jupiter assigned him a different partner, and commanded him to espouse +Sorrow, the daughter of Ate. He complied with reluctance, for her +features were harsh, her eyes sunken, her forehead contracted into +perpetual wrinkles, and her temples encircled with a wreath of cypress +and wormwood. From this union sprung a virgin, in whom might be traced a +strong resemblance to both her parents; but the sullen and unamiable +features of her mother were so blended with the sweetness of the father, +that her countenance, though mournful, was highly pleasing. The maids +and shepherds gathered round and called her Pity. A red-breast was +observed to build in the cabin where she was born; and while she was yet +an infant, a dove, pursued by a hawk, flew for refuge into her bosom. +She had a dejected appearance, but so soft and gentle a mien, that she +was beloved to enthusiasm. Her voice was low and plaintive, but +inexpressibly sweet; and she loved to lie for hours on the banks of some +wild and melancholy stream singing to her lute. She taught men to weep, +for she took a strange delight in tears; and often when the virgins of +the hamlet were assembled at their evening sports, she would steal in +among them and captivate their hearts by her tales of charming sadness. +She wore on her head a garland, composed of her father's myrtles twisted +with her mother's cypress. One day as she sat musing by the waters of +Helicon, her tears by chance fell into the spring; and ever since, the +muses' spring has tasted of the infusion. Pity was commanded by Jupiter +to follow the steps of her mother through the world, dropping balm into +the wounds she made, and binding up the hearts she had broken. She +follows with her hair loose, her bosom bare and throbbing, her garments +torn by the briars, and her feet bleeding with the roughness of the +path. The nymph is mortal, for so is her mother; and when she has +finished her destined course upon earth, they shall both expire +together, and Love be again united to Joy, his immortal and +long-betrothed bride. + + * * * * * + + + +THE CONTEMPORARY TRAVELLER. + + +ACCOUNT OF THE VOLCANIC FORMATIONS NEAR THE RHINE. + +_(From a Correspondent.)_ + + +There is a volcanic country on the left bank between Remagen and +Andernach, highly interesting to the naturalist, but I believe not +visited by the generality of travellers. The late accounts, however, of +the formations of a similar kind in Auvergne and Clermont, in the centre +of France, and the speculations to which these phenomena have given +rise, determined me to explore this district whilst I was in the +neighbourhood. Bidding adieu, therefore, to the green little island of +Nonnenworth, I made the journey to Brohl, a convenient day's walk of +sixteen miles, passing through Oberwinter, Remagen, and Breysig, and the +other white and slated villages that enliven the river. It is here the +valley of the Rhine narrows, and the succession of ridges and dales +which the road skirts, are sometimes entirely barren, at others thickly +covered with vines and fruit-trees. Though the former plant is pleasing +in the tints of its leaf, and in the idea of cultivation and plenty that +its thick plantations present, yet there is a stiffness in the +regularity in which it grows, propped up by sticks; and it is so short, +that one's fancy as to its luxuriance, (especially if formed from such +poetry as _Childe Harold_,) is certainly disappointed. I made a +digression from the road up the little river Aar, which falls into the +Rhine near Sinzig. A more striking picture you cannot imagine. The +stream is remarkably clear and rapid, the bottom rocky, and its banks, +for a considerable distance, are literally perpendicular rocks. The Aar +is a perfect specimen of the mountain torrent; it rises in the Eiffel +mountains; and, I am told, in the winter does much mischief by +inundations. It put me in mind of the Welsh rivulets, particularly some +parts of the Dee. This _detour_ having taken up more time than I +expected, I reached Brohl, late, but in time for the supper at the +rustic Gasthoff, which, with a flask of Rhenish wine, and the company of +an agreeable German tourist who was staying there, made ample amends for +the fatigues of the day. + +In setting out from Brohl by the stream of the same name, which runs +down from the Lake of Laach, where I was struck with the pieces of +pumice-stone, and the charred remains of herbs and stalks of trees +scattered over the marshes. I soon came to the valley, the sides of +which are composed of what is called, in the language of geology, +_tufa_, and in that of the country, _dukstein_, or _trass_. It is a +stone, or a hard clay, of a dull blueish colour, and when dry, it +assumes a shade of light gray. An immense quantity is quarried +throughout the valley, and is sent down the Rhine to Holland, where it +is in great request for building. The village of Nippes owes its origin +to the trade in trass, having been founded by a Dutchman, who settled +there about a century ago for the convenience of exportation. The lower +part of the mass is the hardest and most compact, and is therefore +preferred by the quarrymen; as it rises, the upper part becomes loose +and sandy, and unfit for use. You must not suppose the stream to be +clear like the Aar, for it is as thick as pea-soup, and about the same +colour, being in fact a river of trass in solution. The banks, however, +are picturesque and well wooded, particularly at Schweppenbourg, an old +castle of peculiar architecture, built on an elevated rock, and formerly +belonging to the family of Metternich, (God save the mark!) The tower is +surrounded with caverns and halls, hollowed out of the trass stone, and +profusely ornamented with fine oaks, pines, and spreading beech trees. +You may almost fancy yourself on magic ground, and looking on a fairy +castle, so peculiar is the effect. I next reached Burgbrohl and +Wassenach, passing several of the trass mills, for the stone is in many +places hard enough for mill-stones, and there is a considerable trade in +them to Holland, and thence to England and other countries. Half an hour +next brought me to the summit of the Feitsberg, one of the hills forming +the circumference of the lake; here I enjoyed a magnificent prospect on +the one side of the lake, well clothed with wood, with the old +six-towered abbey on its bank, and the heights of the Eiffel chain +enclosing it; on the other side, the view was so extensive as to give me +a glimpse of Ehrenbreitstein, and of the line of hills from thence to +the Siebengebrige. Though my object in climbing the Feitsberg was very +different, my surprise and delight in unexpectedly catching +Ehrenbreitstein at the distance of twenty-four miles even served to +withdraw my attention some time from geologizing, or from the scene +close under me. I recollect the same sensation on descrying Gravelines +sometime ago from the heights of Dover Castle, not believing the +distance to be within the powers of the telescope. True indeed is it +that + + "Tis distance lends enchantment to the view. + And robes the mountain in its azure hue." + +I was now in a rude and barren country, presenting a strong contrast to +the soft scenery I had left, and consisting of an elevated mountain +plateau, or table land of slate of the Greywacke sort, the heights on +the eastern side of the Rhine being of the same level, and the channel +of the river appearing as a narrow valley, which the eye overlooks +entirely. This table land is studded with isolated hills of volcanic +formation, and of a conical form, some of them having central funnels or +craters, from which the ancient eruptions have issued. The most complete +are the Hirschenberg, near Burgbrohl, the Bousenberg, between that +village and Olburg, the Poter, Pellenberg, and the Camillenberg, which +last rises about one thousand feet above the level of the surrounding +surface. There are many others extending for some distance in the Eiffel +chain and in the vicinity, but those I have mentioned are sufficient to +guide the footsteps of the inquirer. The basin of the Lake of Laach is +nearly circular and crateriform; it is a mile and a half long, and about +a mile and a quarter in breadth. Its average depth is two hundred feet, +but it is full of holes, the measure of which is very uncertain. Its +water is blueish, very cold, and of a nasty brackish taste. It has been +examined by several geologists, British and foreign, among whom is the +famous Humboldt, and there is no doubt that this great reservoir is the +crater of an extinct volcano. The fragments and minerals thrown up on +the banks are analogous to those found in other volcanic countries; and +on one side (that towards Nieder-mennig) is a regular rock of continued +lava, which is supposed to have flowed from the crater during the last +eruption. Mr. Scrope, whose opinion is entitled to great weight, thinks +it not improbable that this may have been the eruption recorded by +Tacitus, (13 lib. Annal.,) as having ravaged the country of the +Initones, near Cologne, in the reign of Nero. I should not forget to +mention that there is a cavern within the basin of the lake, the air of +which is so stifling and noxious, that animals die if forced to remain +in it, and lights are extinguished by the gas--phenomena precisely +similar to those of the well-known Grotto del Cane, near Naples. + +While I am on the subject of volcanic phenomena, I may as well add a +word on the origin of the trass or tufa, which is so thickly spread over +this country. It is similar to that found near Naples, at Mont d'Or, +Carbal, and other parts of Italy; and, indeed, all the products of the +latter district are pretty nearly the same as these, allowing for the +difference of a slate surface in the one case, and a sandy and alluvial +soil in the other. The idea of the trass having any connexion with a +deluge, is, I believe, now exploded; and geologists have agreed that it +is the actual substance ejected by the volcano, subsided into a firm +paste. The rain has always been observed to fall heavily after +eruptions, and the water running down the sides of the hills, has formed +this crust, which makes the bottom and sides of the Laach. The same +causes are in action now; and if ever the lake should rise so high as to +burst its banks, it would overflow the whole country, and carry terrible +destruction with it. Such an event was actually foreseen by the +sagacious monks who formerly inhabited the abbey, for they cut a canal +nearly a mile long, to give the water vent; and the discharge by it +continues to this day. The abbey is now untenanted, and is in a +deplorable state of ruin; it was once celebrated for its hospitality and +a fine gallery of pictures; all, however, have vanished, and the ruins +are now the property of M. Delius, a magistrate of Treves. The situation +is so beautiful, surrounded as it is with fine timber, that one would +suppose it worth his while to repair the place, particularly as stone is +so plentiful in the neighbourhood. It forms, however, as it is, a +picturesque addition to the interest of the excursion to the lake, I +returned by the mineral spring of Heilbrunn, well satisfied with my +inspection of the country. The distance from Brohl to the abbey is +little more than five miles, and it is one which I would advise all +tourists on the Rhine to make if they have time, whether they be +geologists or non-geologists. I fancied I had a clearer conception of. +Aetna and Vesuvius, and the living fires, from having witnessed the +funnels of the extinct ones. At all events, though little is known as to +the causes of volcanic phenomena, enough is ascertained to convince us +that subterranean fire exists under the whole of Europe, there not being +one country or district exempt from occasional earthquakes, or some such +signs of terror. + +D. + + * * * * * + + + +THE SKETCH-BOOK + + +GARDEN OF BREMHILL PARSONAGE. + +_The Residence of the Rev. W. L. Bowles._ + + +The garden contains upwards of two acres, with a gravel-walk under the +windows. A Gothic porch has been added, the bow-windows being surmounted +with the same kind of parapet as the house, somewhat more ornamental. It +lies to the morning sun; the road to the house, on the north, enters +through a large arch. The garden is on a slope, commanding views of the +surrounding country, with the tower of Calne in front, the woods of +Bowood on the right, and the mansion and woods of Walter Heneage, Esq. +Towards the south. The view to the south-east is terminated by the last +chalky cliffs of the Marlborough downs, extending to within a few miles +of Swindon. In the garden, a winding path from the gravel-walk, in front +of the house, leads to a small piece of water, originally a square pond. + +This walk, as it approaches the water, leads into a darker shade, and +descending some steps, placed to give a picturesque appearance to the +bank, you enter a kind of cave, with a dripping rill, which falls into +the water below, whose bank is broken by thorns, and hazels, and +poplars, among darker shrubs. Here an urn appears with the following +inscription:--"M.S. Henrici Bowles, qui ad Calpen, febre ibi exitiali +grassante, publice missus, ipse miserrime periit--1804. Fratri +posuit."--Passing round the water, you come to an arched walk of hazels, +which leads to the green in front of the house, where, dipping a small +slope, the path passes near an old and ivied elm. As this seat looks on +the magnificent line of Bowood park and plantations, the obvious thought +could not be well avoided: + + "When in thy sight another's vast domain + Spreads its dark sweep of woods, dost thou complain? + Nay! rather thank the God who placed thy state + Above the lowly, but beneath the great; + And still his name with gratitude revere, + Who bless'd the sabbath of thy leisure here." + +The walk leads round a plantation of shrubs, to the bottom of the lawn, +from whence is seen a fountain, between a laurel arch; and through a +dark passage a gray sun-dial appears among beds of flowers, opposite the +fountain. + +The sun-dial, a small, antique, twisted column, gray with age, was +probably the dial of the abbot of Malmesbury, and counted his hours when +at the adjoining lodge; for it was taken from the garden of the +farm-house, which had originally been the summer retirement of this +mitred lord. It has the appearance of being _monastic_, but a more +ornate capital has been added, the plate on which bears the date of +1688. I must again venture to give the appropriate inscription:-- + + "To count the brief and unreturning hours, + This Sun-Dial was placed among the flowers, + Which came forth in their beauty--smiled and died, + Blooming and withering round its ancient side. + Mortal, thy day is passing--see that flower, + And think upon the Shadow and the Hour!" + +The whole of the small green slope is here dotted with beds of flowers; +a step, into some rock-work, leads to a kind of hermit's oratory, with +crucifix and stained glass, built to receive the shattered fragments, as +their last asylum, of the pillars of Stanly Abbey. + +The dripping water passes through the rock-work into a large shell, the +gift of a valued friend, the author of "The Pleasures of Memory;" and I +add, with less hesitation, the inscription, because it was furnished by +the author of "The Pains of Memory," a poem, in its kind, of the most +exquisite harmony and fancy, though the author has long left the bowers +of the muses, and the harp of music, for the severe professional duties +of the bar. I have some pride in mentioning the name of Peregrine +Bingham, being a near relation, as well as rising in character and fame +at the bar. The verses will speak for themselves, and are not unworthy +his muse whose poem suggested the comparisons. The inscription is placed +over the large Indian shell:-- + + "Snatch'd from an Indian ocean's roar, + I drink the whelming tide no more; + But in this rock, remote and still, + Now serve to pour the murmuring rill. + Listen! Do thoughts awake, which long have slept-- + Oh! like his song, who placed me here, + The sweetest song to Memory dear, + When life's tumultuous storms are past, + May we, to such sweet music, close at last + The eyelids that have wept!" + +Leaving the small oratory, a terrace of flowers leads to a Gothic +stone-seat at the end, and, returning to the flower-garden, we wind up a +narrow path from the more verdant scene, to a small dark path, with +fantastic roots shooting from the bank, where a grave-stone appears, on +which an hour-glass is carved. + +A root-house fronts us, with dark boughs branching over it. Sit down in +that old carved chair. If I cannot welcome some illustrious visitors in +such consummate verse as Pope, I may, I hope, not without blameless +pride, tell you, reader, in this chair have sat some public characters, +distinguished by far more noble qualities than "the nobly pensive St. +John!" I might add, that this seat has received, among other visiters, +Sir Samuel Romilly, Sir George Beaumont, Sir Humphry Davy--poets as well +as philosophers, Madame de Stael, Dugald Stewart, and Christopher North, +Esq. + +Two lines on a small board on this root-house point the application:-- + + "Dost thou lament the dead, and mourn the loss + Of many friends, oh! think upon the cross!" + +Over an old tomb-stone, through an arch, at a distance in light beyond, +there is a vista to a stone cross, which, in the seventeenth century, +would have been idolatrous! + +To detail more of the garden would appear ostentatious, and I fear I may +be thought egotistical in detailing so much. I shall, however, take the +reader, before we part, through an arch, to an old yew, which has seen +the persecution of the loyal English clergy; has witnessed their return, +and many changes of ecclesiastical and national fortune. Under the +branches of that solitary but mute historian of the pensive plain, let +us now rest; it stands at the very extreme northern edge of that garden +which we have just perambulated. It fronts the tower, the churchyard, +and looks on to an old sun-dial, once a _cross_. The _cross_ was found +broken at its foot, probably by the country iconoclasts of the day. I +have brought the interesting fragment again into light, and placed it +conspicuously opposite to an old Scotch fir in the churchyard, which I +think it not unlikely was planted by Townson on his _restoration_. The +accumulation of the soil of centuries had covered an ascent of four +steps at the bottom of this record of silent hours. These steps have +been worn in places, from the act of frequent prostration or kneeling, +by the forefathers of the hamlet, perhaps before the church existed. +From a seat near this old yew tree, you see the churchyard, and +battlements of the church, on one side; and on the other you look over a +great extent of country. On a still summer's evening, the distant sound +of the hurrying coaches, on the great London road, are heard as they +pass to and from the metropolis. On this spot this last admonitory +inscription fronts you:-- + + "There lie the village dead, and there too I, + When yonder dial points the hour, shall lie. + Look round, the distant prospect is display'd, + Like life's fair landscape, mark'd with light and shade. + Stranger, in peace pursue thy onward road, + But ne'er forget thy lone and last abode!" + +_History of Bremhill, by Mr. Bowles._ + + * * * * * + + + +RETROSPECTIVE GLEANINGS. + +PAPER MARKS. + +[Illustration] + + +Paper, for the purpose of writing or printing, was first manufactured in +this country, according to Anderson, about the year 1598, in the reign +of Elizabeth. There is reason, however, to believe, that its manufacture +existed here previous to that time. John Tate is recorded to have had a +paper-mill at Hertford, in the reign of Henry VII. and the first book +printed on English paper, came out in 1495 or 6. It was entitled +"Bartholomeus de proprietatibus rerum," and was printed on paper made by +John Tate, jun. + +The different paper marks are objects of some curiosity. Probably they +gave the names to the different sorts, many of which names are retained, +though the original marks of distinction have been relinquished. _Post_ +paper originally bore the wire mark of a postman's horn, as appears on +specimens of paper of the date 1679. The fleur de lis was the peculiar +mark of demy, most likely originating in France. The open _hand_ is a +very ancient mark, giving name to a sort, which though still in use, is +considerably altered in size and texture. + +_Fool's-Cap_--the name is still continued though the original design of +a fool's cap is relinquished. + +_Pot Paper._--There were various designs of pots or drinking vessels; +this paper retains its proportions and size according to early +specimens, but the mark is exchanged for that of the arms of England. + +The original manufacturer in this country, John Tate, marked his paper +with a star of eight points, within a double circle. The device of John +Tate, jun. was a wheel; his paper is remarkably fine and good. + +Various other paper marks were in use, adopted most likely at the will +or caprice of the manufacturer. Thus we have the unicorn and other +non-descript quadrupeds, the bunch of grapes, serpent, and ox'head +surmounted by a star, a great favourite; the cross, crown, globe, +initials of manufacturers' names; and, at the conclusion of the 17th +century and commencement of the last, arms appear in escutcheons with +supporters. + + * * * * * + + +SINGULAR REGULATIONS OF THE HOUSEHOLD OF HENRY VIII. + + +The only alteration in the following is the difference of the +orthography which I have made for the benefit of your readers. They are +extracts from a curious manuscript, containing directions for the +household of Henry VIII. + +"His highness' baker shall not put alum in the bread, or mix rye, oaten, +or bean flour with the same, and if detected, he shall be put into the +stocks. + +"His highness' attendants are not to steal any locks or keys, tables, +forms, cupboards, or other furniture of noblemen's or gentlemen's +houses, where he goes to visit. + +"Master cooks shall not employ such scullions as go about naked, or lie +all night on the ground before the kitchen fire. + +"No dogs to be kept in the court, but only a few spaniels for the +ladies. + +"Dinners to be at ten, and suppers at four. + +"The officers of his privy chamber shall be loving together, no grudging +or grumbling, or talking of the king's pastime. + +"The king's barber is enjoined to be cleanly, not to frequent the +company of misguided women, for fear of danger to the king's royal +person. + +"There shall be no romping with the maids on the staircase, by which +dishes and other things are often broken! + +"The pages shall not interrupt the kitchen maids. + +"The grooms shall not steal his highness's straw for bed, sufficient +being allowed to them. + +"Coal only to be allowed to the king's, queen's, and lady Mary's +chambers.[2] + +"The brewers not to put any brimstone in the ale. + +"Twenty-four loaves a-day for his highness' greyhounds. + +"Ordered--that all noblemen and gentlemen at the end of the session of +parliament, depart to their several counties, on pain of the royal +displeasure." + +The following items contain nothing very remarkable, and if they did, +perhaps I have copied enough already for a specimen of this ludicrous +manuscript. + +W. H. H. + + [2] Hence it was found necessary for the pages and servants + to run about to warm themselves with different diversions + before going to bed. + + * * * * * + + +FOUR THIEVES' VINEGAR. + + +In an old tract printed in the year 1749, it is stated that one Richard +_Forthave_, who lived in Bishopsgate-street Without, sold and invented +"_a vinegar_," which had a great run, and he soon became noted; and from +this it may be concluded that the length of time has caused the above +corruption. The article in the pamphlet is headed "Forthave's Vinegar." + +W. H. H. + + * * * * * + + +FISH. + + +Philip II. of Spain, the consort of our Queen Mary, gave a whimsical +reason for not eating fish. "They are," said he, "nothing but element +congealed, or a jelly of water." + +It is related of Queen Aterbates, that she forbade her subjects ever to +touch fish, "lest," said she, with calculating forecast, "there should +not be enough left to regale their sovereign." + + * * * * * + + +A GENTLEMAN'S FASHION. + + +In the reign of Henry VII. Sir Philip Calthorpe, a Norfolk knight, sent +as much cloth of fine French tawney, as would make him a gown, to a +tailor in Norwich. It happened, one John Drakes, a shoemaker, coming +into the shop, liked it so well, that he went and bought of the same, as +much for himself, enjoining the tailor to make it of the same fashion. +The knight was informed of this, and therefore commanded the tailor to +cut his gown as full of holes as his shears could make. John Drakes's +was made "of the same fashion," but he vowed he would never be of the +_gentleman's_ fashion again. + +C. F E. + + * * * * * + + +CONVEYANCING. + + +The oldest conveyance of which we have any account, namely, that of the +Cave of Macpelah, from the sons of Heth to Abraham, has many unnecessary +and redundant words in it. "And the field of Ephron, which was in +Macpelah, which was before Manire, the field, and the cave which was +therein, and all the trees that were in the field, that were in all the +borders round about, were made sure unto Abraham." The parcels in a +modern conveyance cannot well be more minutely characterized. + + * * * * * + + + +SPIRIT OF THE +PUBLIC JOURNALS + + +THE HUSBAND'S COMPLAINT. + + "Will she thy linen wash and hosen darn?" + +GAY. + + + I'm utterly sick of this hateful alliance + Which the ladies have form'd with impractical Science! + They put out their washing to learn hydrostatics, + And give themselves airs for the sake of pneumatics. + + They are knowing in muriate, and nitrate, and chlorine, + While the stains gather fast on the walls and the flooring-- + And the jellies and pickles fall wofully short, + With their chemical use of the still and retort. + + Our expenses increase, (without drinking French wines.) + For they keep no accounts, with their tangents and sines-. + And to make both ends meet they give little assistance, + With their accurate sense of the squares of the distance. + + They can name every spot from Peru to El Arish, + Except just the bounds of their own native parish; + And they study the orbits of Venus and Saturn, + While their home is resign'd to the thief and the slattern. + + Chronology keeps back the dinner two hours, + The smoke-jack stands still while they learn motive powers; + Flies and shells swallow up all our every-day gains, + And our acres are mortgaged for fossil-remains. + + They cease to reflect with their talk of refraction-- + They drive us from home by electric attraction-- + And I'm sure, since they've bother'd their heads with affinity, + I'm repuls'd every hour from my learned divinity. + + When the poor, stupid husband is weary and starving, + Anatomy leads them to give up the carving; + And we drudges the shoulder of mutton must buy, + While they study the line of the _os humeri_. + + If we 'scape from our troubles to take a short nap, + We awake with a din about limestone and trap; + And the fire is extinguished past regeneration, + For the women were wrapt in the deep-coal formation. + + 'Tis an impious thing that the wives of the laymen, + Should use Pagan words 'bout a pistil and stamen, + Let the heir break his head while they fester a Dahlia, + And the babe die of pap as they talk of mammalia. + + The first son becomes half a fool in reality, + While the mother is watching his large ideality; + And the girl roars uncheck'd, quite a moral abortion, + For we trust her benevolence, order, and caution. + + I sigh for the good times of sewing and spinning, + Ere this new tree of knowledge had set them a sinning; + The women are mad, and they'll build female colleges,-- + So here's to plain English!--a plague on their ologies! + +_London Mag_. + + * * * * * + + +THE EDITOR'S ROOM. + +_July 28, 1828._ + + +And so, most tasteful and provident public, you are going out of town on +Saturday next?--We envy you. Mars is gone, and Sontag is gone, and Pasta +is going--and Velluti is out of voice--and they are playing tragedies at +the Haymarket--and Vauxhall will never be dry again--and the Funny Club +are drenched to their skins every day--and "the sweet shady side of Pall +Mall" is a forgotten blessing. You will be dull in the country if this +weather continue--but not so dirty as upon the Macadam. So go. + +We shall stay behind, with the Duke of Wellington, to look after +business. It would not do for either of us to be gadding, while Ireland, +and Turkey, and Portugal want watching. The times are getting ticklish. +The stocks are rising most dreadfully, as the barometer falls; and the +Squirearchy are beginning to dread that the patridges will be drowned. +That will be a sad drawback from the delights of a two-shilling +quartern-loaf. For ourselves, we have plenty of work cut out for us, in +this our abiding place. The fewer the books which are published, the +more we shall have to draw upon our own genius; and the duller the +season, the more vivacious must we be to put our readers in spirits. But +we have consolation approaching in the shape of amusing work. +Immediately that parliament is up, the newspapers will begin to lie, +"like thunder," Tom Pipes would say. What mysterious murders, what +heart-rending accidents, what showers of bonnets in the Paddington +Canal, what legions of unhappy children dropped at honest men's doors! +We have got a file of the "Morning Herald" for the last ten years;--and +we give the worthy labourers in the accident line, fair notice, that if +they hash up the old stories with the self-same sauce, as they are wont +to do, without substituting the pistol for the razor, and not even +changing the Christian name of the young ladies who always drown +themselves when parliament is up, we shall take the matter into our own +hands, and write a "Chapter of Accidents" that will drive these poor +pretenders to the secrets of hemp and rats-bane fairly out of the +field.--Ibid. + + * * * * * + + +AWKWARDNESS. + + +Man is naturally the most awkward animal that inhales the breath of +life. There is nothing, however simple, which he can perform with the +smallest approach to gracefulness or ease. If he walks,--he hobbles, or +jumps, or limps, or trots, or sidles, or creeps--but creeping, sidling, +limping, hobbling, and jumping, are by no means walking. If he sits,--he +fidgets, twists his legs under his chair, throws his arm over the back +of it, and puts himself into a perspiration, by trying to be at ease. It +is the same in the more complicated operations of life. Behold that +individual on a horse! See with what persevering alacrity he hobbles up +and down from the croupe to the pommel, while his horse goes quietly at +an amble of from four to five miles in the hour. See how his knees, +flying like a weaver's shuttle, from one extremity of the saddle to +another, destroy, in a pleasure-ride from Edinburgh to Roslin, the good, +gray kerseymeres, which were glittering a day or two ago in Scaife and +Willis's shop. The horse begins to gallop--Bless our soul! the gentleman +will decidedly roll off. The reins were never intended to be pulled like +a peal of Bob Majors; your head, my friend ought to be on your own +shoulders, and not poking out between your charger's ears; and your +horse ought to use _its_ exertions to move on, and not you. It is a very +cold day, you have cantered your two miles, and now you are wiping your +brows, as if you had run the distance in half the time on foot. + +People think it a mighty easy thing to roll along in a carriage. Step +into this noddy. That creature in the corner is evidently in a state of +such nervous excitement that his body is as immovable as if he had +breakfasted on the kitchen poker; every jolt of the vehicle must give +him a shake like a battering-ram; do you call this coming in to give +yourself a rest? Poor man, your ribs will ache for this for a month to +come! But the other gentleman opposite: see how flexible he has rendered +his body. Every time my venerable friend on the coach-box extends his +twig with a few yards of twine at the end of it, which he denominates "a +whupp," the suddenness of the accelerated motion makes his great, round +head flop from the centre of his short, thick neck, and come with such +violence on the unstuffed back, that his hat is sent down upon the +bridge of his nose with a vehemence which might well nigh carry it away. +Do you say that man is capable of taking a _pleasure_ ride? Before he +has been bumped three miles, every pull of wind will be jerked out of +his body, and by the time he has arrived at Roslin, he will be a dead +man. If that man prospers in the world, he commits suicide the moment he +sets up his carriage. + +We go to a ball. Mercy upon us! is this what you call dancing? A man of +thirty years of age, and with legs as thick as a gate-post, stands up in +the middle of the room, and gapes, and fumbles with his gloves, looking +all the time as if he were burying his grandmother. At a given signal, +the unwieldy animal puts himself in motion; he throws out his arms, +crouches up his shoulders, and, without moving a muscle of his face, +kicks out his legs, to the manifest risk of the bystanders, and goes +back to the place puffing and blowing like an otter, after a half-hour's +burst. Is this dancing? Shades of the filial and paternal Vestris! can +this be a specimen of the art which gives elasticity to the most inert +confirmation, which sets the blood glowing with a warm and genial flow, +and makes beauty float before our ravished senses, stealing our +admiration by the gracefulness of each new motion, till at last our +souls thrill to each warning movement, and dissolve into ecstasy and +love? + +People seem even to labour to be awkward. One would think a gentleman +might shake hands with a familiar friend without any symptoms of +cubbishness. Not at all. The hand is jerked out by the one with the +velocity of a rocket, and comes so unexpectedly to the length of its +tether, that it nearly dislocates the shoulder bone. There it stands +swaying and clutching at the wind, at the full extent of the arm, while +the other is half poked out, and half drawn in, as if rheumatism +detained the upper moiety and only below the elbow were at liberty to +move. After you have shaken the hand, (but for what reason you squeeze +it, as if it were a sponge, I can by no means imagine,) can you not +withdraw it to your side, and keep it in the station where nature and +comfort alike tell you it ought to be? Do you think your breeches' +pocket the most proper place to push your daddle into? Do you put it +there to guard the solitary half-crown from the rapacity of your friend; +or do you put it across your breast in case of an unexpected winder from +your apparently peaceable acquaintance on the opposite side? + +Is it not quite absurd that a man can't even take a glass of wine +without an appearance of infinite difficulty and pain? Eating an egg at +breakfast, we allow, is a difficult operation, but surely a glass of +wine after dinner should be as easy as it is undoubtedly agreeable. The +egg lies under many disadvantages. If you leave the egg-cup on the +table, you have to steady it with the one hand, and carry the floating +nutriment a distance of about two feet with the other, and always in a +confoundedly small spoon, and sometimes with rather unsteady fingers. To +avoid this, you take the egg-cup in your hand, and every spoonful have +to lay it down again, in order to help yourself to bread; so, upon the +whole, we disapprove of eggs, unless, indeed, you take them in our old +mode at Oxford; that is two eggs mashed up with every cup of tea, and +purified with a glass of hot rum. + +But the glass of wine--can anything be more easy? One would think +not--but if you take notice next time you empty a gallon with a friend, +you will see that, sixteen to one, he makes the most convulsive efforts +to do with ease what a person would naturally suppose was the easiest +thing in the world. Do you see, in the first place, how hard he grasps +the decanter, leaving the misty marks of five hot fingers on the +glittering crystal, which ought to be pure as Cornelia's fame? Then +remark at what an acute angle he holds his right elbow as if he were +meditating an assault on his neighbour's ribs; then see how he claps the +bottle down again as if his object were to shake the pure ichor, and +make it muddy as his own brains. Mark how the animal seizes his +glass,--by heavens he will break it into a thousand fragments! See how +he bows his lubberly head to meet half way the glorious cargo; how he +slobbers the beverage over his unmeaning gullet, and chucks down the +glass so as almost to break its stem after he has emptied it of its +contents as if they had been jalap or castor-oil! Call you that taking a +glass of wine? Sir, it is putting wine into your gullet as you would put +small beer into a barrel,--but it is not--oh, no! it is not taking, so +as to enjoy, a glass of red, rich port, or glowing, warm, tinted, +beautiful caveza! + +A newly married couple are invited to a wedding dinner. Though the lady, +perhaps, has run off with a person below her in rank and station, see +when they enter the room, how differently they behave.--How gracefully +she waves her head in the fine recover from the withdrawing curtsy, and +beautifully extends her hand to the bald-pated individual grinning to +her on the rug! While the poor spoon, her husband, looks on, with the +white of his eyes turned up as if he were sea-sick, and his hands dangle +dangle on his thighs as if he were trying to lift his own legs. See how +he ducks to the lady of the house, and simpers across the fire-place to +his wife, who, by this time is giving a most spirited account of the +state of the roads, and the civility of the postilions near the Borders. + +Is a man little? Let him always, if possible, stoop. We are sometimes +tempted to lay sprawling in the mud fellows of from five feet to five +feet eight, who carry the back of their heads on the extreme summit of +their back-bone, and gape up to heaven as if they scorned the very +ground. Let no little man wear iron heels. When we visit a friend of +ours in Queen-street we are disturbed from our labours or conversation +by a sound which resembles the well-timed marching of a file of infantry +or a troop of dismounted dragoons. We hobble as fast as possible to the +window, and are sure to see some chappie of about five feet high +stumping on the pavement with his most properly named cuddy-heels; and +we stake our credit, we never yet heard a similar clatter from any of +his majesty's subjects of a rational and gentlemanly height--We mean +from five feet eleven (our own height) up to six feet three. + +Is a man tall? Let him never wear a surtout. It is the most unnatural, +and therefore the most awkward dress that ever was invented. On a tall +man, if he be thin, it appears like a cossack-trouser on a stick leg; if +it be buttoned, it makes his leanness and lankness still more appalling +and absurd; if it be open, it appears to be no part of his costume, and +leads us to suppose that some elongated habit-maker is giving us a +specimen of that rare bird, the flying tailor. + +We go on a visit to the country for a few days, and the neighbourhood is +famous for its beautiful prospects. Though, for our own individual +share, we would rather go to the catacombs alone, than to a splendid +view in a troop, we hate to balk young people! and as even now a +walking-stick chair is generally carried along for our behoof, we seldom +or ever remain at home when all the rest of the party trudge off to some +"bushy bourne or mossy dell." On these occasions how infinitely superior +the female is to the male part of the species! The ladies, in a quarter +of an hour after the proposal of the ploy, appear all in readiness to +start, each with her walking-shoes and parasol, with a smart reticule +dangling from her wrist. The gentlemen, on the other hand, get off with +their great, heavy Wellingtons, which, after walking half a mile, pinch +them at the toe, and make the pleasure excursion confine them to the +house for weeks. Then some fool, the first gate or stile we come to, is +sure to show off his vaulting, and upsets himself in the ditch on the +opposite side, instead of going quietly over and helping the damosels +across. And then, if he does attempt the polite, how awkwardly the +monster makes the attempt! We come to a narrow ditch with a plank across +it--He goes only half way, and standing in the middle of the plank, +stretches out his hand and pulls the unsuspecting maiden so forcibly, +that before he has time to get out of the way, the impetus his own tug +has produced, precipitates them both among the hemlock and nettles, +which, you may lay it down as a general rule, are to be found at the +thoroughfares in every field. + +We hold that every man behaves with awkwardness when he is in love, and +the want of the one is a presumption of the absence of the other. When +people are fairly engaged, there is perhaps less of this directly _to +the object_, but there is still as much of it in her presence; but it is +wonderful how soon the most nervous become easy when marriage has +concluded all their hopes. Delicate girl! just budding into womanly +loveliness, whose heart, for the last ten minutes, has been trembling +behind the snowy wall of thy fair and beautiful bosom, hast thou never +remarked and laughed at a tall and much-be-whiskered young man for the +_mauvaise honte_ with which he hands to thee thy cup of half-watered +souchong? Laugh not at him again, for he will assuredly be thy husband. + +Love, when successful is well enough, and perhaps it has treasures of +its own to compensate for its inconveniences; but a more miserable +situation than that of an unhappy individual before the altar, it is not +in the heart of man to conceive. First of all, you are marched with a +solitary male companion up the long aisle, which on this occasion +appears absolutely interminable; then you meet your future partner +dressed out in satin and white ribbons, whom you are sure to meet in +gingham gowns or calico prints, every morning of your life ever after. +There she is, supported by her old father, decked out in his +old-fashioned brown coat, with a wig of the same colour, beautifully +relieving the burning redness of his huge projecting ears; and the +mother, puffed up like an overgrown bolster, encouraging the trembling +girl, and joining her maiden aunts of full fifty years, in telling her +to take courage, for it is what they must all come to. Bride's-maids and +mutual friends make up the company; and there, standing out before this +assemblage, you assent to everything the curate, or, if you are rich +enough, the rector, or even the dean, may say, shewing your knock-knees +in the naked deformity of white kerseymeres, to an admiring bevy of the +servants of both families, laughing and tittering from the squire's pew +in the gallery. Then the parting!--The mother's injunctions to the +juvenile bride to guard herself from the cold, and to write within the +week. The maiden aunts' inquiries, of, "My dear, have you forgot +nothing?"--the shaking of hands, the wiping and winking of eyes! By +Hercules!--there is but one situation more unpleasant _in_ this world, +and that is, bidding adieu to your friends, the ordinary and jailor, +preparatory to swinging from the end of a halter _out_ of it. The lady +all this time seems not half so awkward. She has her gown to keep from +creasing, her vinaigrette to play with; besides, that all her +nervousness is interesting and feminine, and is laid to the score of +delicacy and reserve. + +_Blackwood's Magazine_. + + * * * * * + + + +MANNERS & CUSTOMS OF ALL NATIONS. + + +CURIOUS CHINESE CUSTOMS. + +(_From the "Canton Register," the first English Newspaper published in +China_.) + + +BURIAL. + +No corpse is allowed to enter the gates of Pekin without an imperial +order; because, it is said, a rebel entered in a coffin during the reign +of Kienlung. However, even at Canton, and in all other cities of the +empire, no corpse is permitted to enter the southern gate, because the +Emperor of China gets on his throne with his face towards the south. + + +THE NEW YEAR. + +The Chinese make their new year commence on the new moon, nearest to the +time when the sun's place is in the 15th degree of Aquarius. It is the +greatest festival observed in the empire. Both the government and the +people, rich and poor, take a longer or shorter respite from their cares +and their labours at the new year. + +The last day of the old year is an anxious time to all debtors and +creditors, for it is the great pay-day, and those who cannot pay are +abused and insulted, and often have the furniture of their house all +smashed to pieces by their desperate creditors. + +On the 20th of the twelfth moon, by an order from court, all the seals +of office, throughout the empire, are locked up, and not opened till the +20th of the first moon. By this arrangement there are thirty days of +rest from the ordinary official business of government. They attend, +however, to extraordinary cases. + +During the last few days of the old year, the people perform various +domestic rites. On one evening they sweep clean the furnace and the +hearth, and worship the god of their domestic fires. + +On new-year's eve, they perfume hot water with the leaves of Wongpe and +Pumelo trees, and bathe in it. At midnight they arise and dress in the +best clothes and caps they can procure; then towards heaven kneel down, +and perform the great imperial ceremony of knocking the forehead on the +ground thrice three times. Next they illuminate as splendidly as they +can, and pray for felicity towards some domestic idol. Then they visit +all the gods in the various surrounding temples, burn candles, incense, +gilt paper, make bows, and prostrate pray. + +These services to the gods being finished, they sally forth about +daylight in all directions, to visit friends and neighbours, leaving a +red paper card at each house. Some stay at home to receive visitors. In +the house, sons and daughters, servants and slaves, all dress, and +appear before the heads of the family, to congratulate them on the new +year. + +After new year's day, drinking and carousing, visiting and feasting, +idleness and dissipation, continue for weeks. All shops are shut, and +workmen idle, for a longer or shorter period, according to the +necessities, or the habits, of the several parties. It is, in Canton, +generally a month before the business of life returns to its ordinary +channel. + + +MEETING THE SPRING. + +February 4, is a great holiday throughout the empire. It is called +Yingchun, that is, meeting the spring, to-morrow, when the sun enters +the 15 deg. of Aquarius, being considered the commencement of the spring +season. It is a sort of Lord Mayor's day. The chief magistrate of the +district goes forth in great pomp, carried on men's shoulders, in an +open chair, with gongs beating, music playing, and nymphs and satyrs +seated among artificial rocks and trees, carried in procession. + +He goes to the general parade-ground, on the east side of Canton, on the +following day, being Lapchun, the first day of spring, in a similar +style. There a buffalo, with an agricultural god made of clay, having +been paraded through the streets, and pelted by the populace, to impel +its labours, is placed on the ground, in solemn state, when this +official priest of spring gives it a few strokes with a whip, and leaves +it to the populace, who pelt it with stones till it is broken to pieces; +and so the foolish ceremony terminates. The due observance of this +ancient usage is supposed to contribute greatly to an abundant year. + + +PAWNBROKING. + +Is carried on to a very great extent in China. The system seems divided +into two parts; one branch affording aid to those in the very inferior +walks of life, and chiefly confined to very small advances; the other +granting loans upon deposits of higher value, and corresponding with +similar establishments in England. These are authorized by the +government; but there are others, we are informed, that exist without +this sanction, and are directed to the relief of the mercantile +interest. These assimilate very nearly to the late project in London of +an Equitable Loan Company, making advances upon cargoes and large +deposits of goods. + +These houses are as conspicuously indicated, by an exterior sign over +the door, as our shops in England are by the three golden balls; but, +whether they indicate the same doctrine of chance as to the return of +property, we will not pretend to say. Three years are allowed to redeem, +with a grace of three months. + + +TORTURE. + +In China, the laws still permit torture, to a defined extent, and the +magistrate often inflicts it, contrary to law. Compressing the ancles of +men between wooden levers, and the fingers of women with a small +apparatus, on the same principle, is the most usual form. But there are +many other devices suggested and practised, contrary to law; and in +every part of the empire, for some years past, there have been many +instances of suspected persons, or those falsely accused, being tortured +till death ensued. From Hoopih province, an appeal is now before the +emperor, against a magistrate who tortured a man to death, to extort a +confession of homicide; and we have just heard, from Kwang-se province, +that on the 24th of the 11th moon, one Netseyuen, belonging to Canton, +having received an appointment for his high literary attainments, to the +magistracy of a Heen district, in a fit of drunkenness, subjected a +young man, on his bridal day, to the torture, because he would not +resign the band of music which he had engaged to accompany, according to +law and usage, his intended wife to his father's house. The young man's +name was Kwanfa. He died under the torture, and the affrighted +magistrate went and hanged himself. + + +CHINESE PRISON. + +Prisoners who have money to spend, can be accommodated with private +apartments, cards, servants, and every luxury. The prisoners' chains and +fetters are removed from their bodies, and suspended against the wall, +till the hour of going the rounds occurs; after that ceremony is over, +the fetters are again placed where they hurt nobody. But those who have +not money to bribe the keepers, are in a woful condition. Not only is +every alleviation of their sufferings removed, but actual infliction of +punishment is added, to extort money to buy "burnt-offerings" (of paper) +to the god of the jail, as the phrase is. For this purpose the prisoners +are tied up, or rather hung up, and flogged. At night, they are fettered +down to a board, neck, wrists, and ancles, amidst ordure and filth, +whilst the rats, unmolested, are permitted to gnaw their limbs! This +place of torment is proverbially called, in ordinary speech, "Te-yuk," a +term equivalent to the worst sense of the word "hell." + + +TOUR ROUND THE CITY WALLS. + +It is well known that the Chinese consider their walled towns in the +same light as fortifications are regarded in Europe, and disallow +foreigners entering them, excepting on special occasions. But there is +no law against walking in the suburbs. Usage has, however, limited the +Europeans in China to very small bounds. Some persons occasionally +violate them, and attempt a longer walk. Once round the city walls has +frequently been effected, but always at the risk of a scuffle, an +assault and battery, from the idle and mischievous among the native +population. On former occasions, some of the foreign tourists have +returned to the factories relieved of the burden of their watches and +clothes. An English baronet was once, on his passage round, robbed of +his watch, and stripped either almost, or entirely naked. + +A few days ago, a party of three started at six o'clock in the morning, +and performed the circuit at about eight, with impunity. The distance +round the walls they estimated to be nine miles. A few days afterwards, +two persons set off in the evening for a walk under the city walls; but +they were not so fortunate. They were violently assaulted by a rabble of +men and boys, the former of whom pursued them with bludgeons, brickbats, +and stones, which not only inflicted severe contusions, but really +endangered their lives. The two foreigners were obliged to face about, +and fight and run alternately the distance of several miles. + +We, who know the hostile feelings of the population, are not surprised +at the occurrence, and rather congratulate the tourists that they +effected their escape so well. We notice the affair to put others on +their guard; and (as the Chinese say) if they should get into a similar +scrape, they cannot blame us for not warning them of their danger. + + * * * * * + + + +THE GATHERER + + "A snapper-up of unconsidered trifles." + +SHAKSPEARE. + + +BAPTISMAL PROMISES. + +One of the subjects for confirmation at a bishop's recent visitation, on +being asked by the clergyman to whom she applied for her certificate of +qualifications, what her godfathers and godmothers promised for her, +said, with much _naivete_, "I've a yeard that they promised to give me +hafe a dozen zilver spoons, but I've never had 'em though." + + * * * * * + + +A GOOD WIFE. + +The real portrait of a fine lady, wife to one of the ancient and noble +family of the Fanes, Earls of Westmoreland, drawn by her husband, and +inscribed in old characters upon a wall of a room in Buxton Place, a +seat belonging to the noble family, near Maidstone, in Kent.--_Taken +from Mist's Journal_. + +"Shee feared God, and knew how to serve him; Shee assigned times for hir +devotions and kept them; She was a perfect wife and a true friend, and +shee joyed most to affect those nearest and dearest unto me; She was +still the same: ever kind and never troublesome; oft preventing my +desires, disputing none; providently managing all was mine; living in +apparence above my state; yet advanced it; Shee was of a great spirit, +sweetly tempered; of a sharp wit, without offence; of excellent speech, +blest with silence; of a cheerfull temper modestly governed; of a brave +fashion to win respect to daunt boldness; pleasing to all of hir sex; +entyre with few, delighting in the best; ever avoiding all places and +persons in the honours blemished; and was as free from doing ill as +giving the occasion: Shee dyed as she lived, well and blessed; in hir +greatest extremity most patient, sending up hir pure soule with many +zealous prayers and hymnes to hir maker; powring forth hir passionate +heart with affectionate streams of love to hir"-- + +"Husband" should have followed, but tradition tells us that by this time +his grief swelled to such a height that he could not proceed any +further. + +T. H. + + * * * * * + +At the recent sale of a provincial theatre and its appurtenances, one +article was to be included in the purchase, of which a short lease is by +no means desirable--_a new drop_. + + * * * * * + + +BRITISH TARS, + +Who are so fond of harmony among themselves, have a great dislike to +concord as applied to their enemies, and find even a disagreeable +association in the very sound of the word, as the following anecdote +will exemplify:--Among the illuminations for the last peace, were some +of a very grand description, and on the door of a foreign ambassador in +London, the words "_Peace and Concord_" figured at full length in +characters of flame. "What say you, Mounsier, _Conquered_!" exclaimed an +honest sailor, to whom a stander-by was explaining the mystic words; +"shiver my timbers, who ever dared to call us '_Conquered_' yet?" and so +saying, was proceeding to extinguish the unlucky blaze, when a civil +explanation, to which British bravery is ever ready to yield, restored +Peace, and allowed Concord to continue. + + * * * * * + + +REMEDY FOR DULNESS. + +Lord Dorset used to say of a very goodnatured, dull fellow, "'Tis a +thousand pities that man is not illnatured! that one might kick him out +of company." + + * * * * * + + +NATIONAL COMPLAINTS. + +The Englishmen at Paris find fault with the _French roast beef_; the +Frenchmen in London complain of the _British brandy_. + +The English who visit Paris, imagine that the tavern-keepers have served +in the _cavalry_, as they are so expert in _making a charge_. + +A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend's lodging, whom he said lived +at _Mr. Bailey's, senior_, was shown to the _Old Bailey_, by a +Bow-street officer. When he entered the court he imagined that it was +his friend's levee. + + * * * * * + + +BENEFIT OF CORRECTION. + +A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools +did not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that +whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a +boy _smart_. + + * * * * * + + +FRENCH AND ENGLISH. + +"_C'est la Soupe_," says one of the best of proverbs, "_qui fait le +Soldat_;" "It is the soup that makes the soldier." Excellent as our +troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact, +than their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery. +The English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals, +by which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt +to a cinder. Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the +same pot, and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than +the simple _Roti_ could ever be. + + * * * * * + + +THE FAMILY SUIT. + +The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative +practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform +him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause +which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years. +Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran +of the law, his intelligence was received with indignation. "It was by +this suit," exclaimed he, "that my father was enabled to provide for me, +and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it +would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your +children and grand-children." + + * * * * * + + +PORK CHOPS. + +It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to +summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other +grotesque or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the +feat by supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops. + + * * * * * + + +ARDUOUS BAPTISM. + +An infant was brought for baptism into a country church. The clergyman, +who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of +the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual, +and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, "How +difficult this child is to baptize!" + + * * * * * + + +DULL READING. + +St. Jerome says, that there is no book so dull, but it meets a suitable +dull reader. "_Nullus est imperitus scriptor, qui lectorem non +inveniat_." + + * * * * * + + +_Printed and Published by J. LIMBIRD. 143, Strand, (near +Somerset-House.) London: Sold by ERNEST FLEISCHER, 626, New Market, +Leipsic; and by all Newsmen and Booksellers._ + + + +***END OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE MIRROR OF LITERATURE, AMUSEMENT, +AND INSTRUCTION, VOL. 12, ISSUE 326, AUGUST 9, 1828*** + + +******* This file should be named 10475.txt or 10475.zip ******* + + +This and all associated files of various formats will be found in: +https://www.gutenberg.org/1/0/4/7/10475 + + +Updated editions will replace the previous one--the old editions +will be renamed. + +Creating the works from public domain print editions means that no +one owns a United States copyright in these works, so the Foundation +(and you!) can copy and distribute it in the United States without +permission and without paying copyright royalties. Special rules, +set forth in the General Terms of Use part of this license, apply to +copying and distributing Project Gutenberg-tm electronic works to +protect the PROJECT GUTENBERG-tm concept and trademark. 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